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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/16009-0.txt b/16009-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..252b2d6 --- /dev/null +++ b/16009-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,22113 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent, by William Carleton + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent + The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two + +Author: William Carleton + +Illustrator: M. L. Flanery + +Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16009] +Last Updated: March 2, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY, + +THE IRISH AGENT. + + +By William Carleton + + + + +PREFACE + + +It was not my intention to have written any Preface to this book, but +to have allowed it simply to speak for itself. As it is very +likely, however, that both it and the motives of its author may be +misrepresented by bigoted or venal pens, I think it necessary to +introduce it to the reader by a few brief observations. In the first +place, then, I beg to say, that the work presents phases of Irish life +and manners that have never been given to the public before by any other +writer upon the same subject. So far, therefore, the book is a perfectly +new book--not only to the Irish people, but also to the English +and Scotch. I know not whether the authenticity of the facts and +descriptions contained in it may be called in question; but this I do +know, that there is not an honest man, on either side, who has lived in +the north of Ireland, and reached the term of fifty years, who will not +recognize the conduct and language of the northern Orangemen as just, +truthful, and not one whit exaggerated. To our friends across the +Channel it is only necessary to say, that I was born in one of the most +Orange counties in Ireland (Tyrone)--that the violence and licentious +abuses of these armed civilians were perpetrated before my eyes--and +that the sounds of their outrages may be said still to ring in my ears. + +I have written many works upon Irish life, and up to the present day +the man has never lived who could lay his finger upon any passage of my +writings, and say “that is false.” I cannot, however, avoid remarking +here, that within the last few years, a more enlarged knowledge of life, +and a more matured intercourse with society, have enabled me to overcome +many absurd prejudices with which I was imbued. Without compromising, +however, the _truth or integrity_ of any portion of my writings, I am +willing to admit, which I do frankly, and without hesitation, that I +published in my early works passages which were not calculated to do +any earthly good; but, on the contrary, to give unnecessary offence to a +great number of my countrymen. It is due to myself to state this, and to +say, that in the last edition of my works I have left as many of these +passages out as I readily could, without diminishing the interest, or +disturbing the narrative. + +_A fortiori_, then, this book may be considered as full of truth and +fidelity as any I have ever written: and I must say, that in writing +it I have changed no principle whatsoever. I am a liberal Conservative, +and, I trust, a rational one; but I am not, nor ever was, an Orangeman; +neither can I endure their exclusive and arrogant assumption of loyalty, +nor the outrages which it has generated. In what portion of my former +writings, for instance, did I ever publish a line in their favor, or in +favor of any secret and illegal confederacy? + +Again, with regard to the Landlords and Agents, have I not written a +tale called the “Poor Scholar,” and another called “Tubber Derg”? in +both of which their corruptions and oppressions are exposed. Let it not +be mistaken. The two great curses of Ireland are bad Landlords and bad +Agents, and in nineteen cases out of every twenty, the origin of the +crime lies with the Landlord or Agent, instead of the tenant. + +With respect to the Established Church of forty years ago, if there is +any man living who asserts that I have not _under-drawn_ her, rather +than otherwise, he is less intimate with truth than I could wish. On +this subject I challenge and defy inquiry. I grant you she is much +changed for the better now; but yet there is much to be done in her +still. It is true Irishmen at present get Mitres, a fact which was +unknown forty years ago. We have now more Evangelicism, and consequently +more sleekness and hypocrisy, more external decorum, and, I would also +trust, more internal spirituality. We have now many eminent and pious +Prelates in the Church, whose admirable example is enough even to shame +the Clergymen under them into a sense of their duty. It is to be wished +that we had many more such as they, for they are wanted. The Irish +Evangelical party are certainly very numerous, and they must pardon me +a slight anachronism or two regarding them, concerning what has been +termed the Modern Reformation in these volumes. Are those who compose +this same party, by the way, acquainted with their own origin? If not, I +will tell them. They were begotten by the active spirit of the Church +of Rome, upon their own establishment, when she was asleep; so that they +owe their very existence to those whom they look upon as their enemies: +and if it were only for this reason alone, there ought to be more +peace between them. In England the same spirit has effected a similar +seduction on that Establishment, but with this difference, that the +Puseyites are a much more obedient and dutiful progeny than the Irish +Evangelicals--inasmuch as they have the grace to acknowledge the +relationship. + +This book was written to exhibit a useful moral to the country. It will +startle, I humbly trust, many a hard-hearted Landlord and flagitious +Agent into a perception of their duty, and it will show the negligent +and reckless Absentee how those from whose toils and struggles he +derives his support, are oppressed, and fleeced, and trampled on in his +name. + +It will also teach the violent and bigoted Conservative--or, in other +words, the man who _still_ inherits the Orange sentiments of past +times--a lesson that he ought not to forget. It will also test the whole +spirit of modern Conservatism, and its liberality. If there be at the +press, or anywhere else, a malignant bigot, with great rancor and little +honesty, it is very likely he will attack my book; and this, of course, +he is at liberty to do. I deny, however, that modern Conservatism is +capable of adopting or cherishing the outrages which disgraced the +Orangemen of forty years ago, or even of a later period. And for this +reason I am confident that the Conservative Press of Ireland will +not only sustain me, but fight my battles, if I shall be ungenerously +attacked. Let them look upon these pictures, and if it ever should +happen that arms and irresponsible power shall be entrusted to them, +perhaps the recollection of their truth may teach them a lesson of +forbearance and humanity toward those that differ from them in creed, +that may be of important service to our common country. If so, I +shall have rendered a service to that country, which, as is usual, may +probably be recognized as valuable, when perhaps my bones are mouldering +in the clay, and my ear insensible to all such acknowledgments. + +As for, myself, I have been so completely sickened by the bigoted +on each side, that I have come to the determination, as every honest +Irishman ought, of knowing no party but my country, and of devoting such +talents as God has given me, to the promotion of her general interests, +and the happiness of her whole people. + +Dublin, December 24, 1844. + + + + +CHAPTER I.--An Irish Pair and Spoileen Tent + +--A Marriage Proposal--An Under Agent--An Old Irish Squire and Union +Lord. + + +The town of Castle Cumber it is not our intention to describe at +more length than simply to say, that it consists of two long streets, +intersecting each other, and two or three lanes of cabins--many of them +mud ones--that stretch out of it on each side at right angles. This +street, and these straggling appendages, together with a Church, a +Prison, a Court-house, a Catholic chapel, a few shops, and half a +dozen public houses, present to the spectator all the features that are +generally necessary for the description of that class of remote country +towns of which we write. Indeed, with the exception of an ancient Stone +Cross, that stands in the middle of the street, and a Fair green, as +it is termed, or common, where its two half-yearly fairs are held, and +which lies at the west end of it, there is little or nothing else to be +added. The fair I particularly mention, because on the day on which the +circumstances I am about to describe occurred, a fair was held in the +town, and upon the green in question. The month was December--the day +stormy and unpropitious. There had been a deep snow and hard frost +for nearly three weeks before; but now the aspect of the white earth +contrasted wildly with the large masses of black clouds which hung +motionless in the air, and cast a dark and gloomy spirit not only over +the appearance of inanimate nature, but into the heart of man himself. + +About noon, just when the whole fair had been assembled, the storm +commenced with wind, sleet, and rain. Never was a more striking or +unexpected change produced. Women tucked up, nearly to the knees, their +garments, soaked with wet, clinging to their bodies and limbs, as if +a part of themselves--men drenched and buttoned up to the chin--all +splashing through the slippery streets, their shoes spouting with +snow-broth--the falling of tents--the shouting against the loudness +of the storm, in order to be heard--the bleating of sheep, lowing of +cattle, the deafening and wild hum of confused noises--all, when added +to the roaring of the sweeping blast, the merciless pelting of the rain, +and the inclement character of the whole day, presented a scene that +was tempestuous and desolate beyond belief. Age, decrepid and +shivering--youth, benumbed and stiffened with cold--rich and poor, +man and woman, all had evidently but one object in view, and that was +shelter. + +Love, charity, amusement, business, were all either disappointed or +forced to suspend their operations, at least for the present. Every +one ran or walked as quickly as possible, with the exception of some +forenoon drunkard, who staggered along at his ease, with an eye half +indolent and half stupid, careless, if not unconscious of the wild +uproar, both elemental and otherwise, by which he was surrounded. + +Nay, the very beggars and impostors--to whom, in general, severe +weather on such occasions is a godsend, as it presents them to their +fellow-creatures in a more pitiable aspect--were glad to disperse. In +truth, the effect of the storm upon them was perfectly miraculous. +Many a poor creature, blind from birth or infancy, was gifted with, or +restored to excellent sight; the maimed were suddenly cured--the deaf +made to hear--the dumb to speak--and the study baccagh, or cripple, +bounded away, at the rate of six miles an hour, cursing the whole thing +as a bad spec--a dead failure. + +Solemn assignations of long promise, rustic courtships, and earnest +match-makings, were all knocked up, unless in case of those who availed +themselves of the early part of the day. Time and place, in fact, were +completely forgotten by the parties, each being anxious only to secure +the nearest and most commodious shelter. Nay, though ashamed to write +it, we are bound to confess that some of our countrymen were ungallant +enough, on meeting with their sweethearts, fairly to give them the +slip, or only to recognize them with a kind of dreary and equivocal +salutation, that might be termed a cross between a wink and a shiver. +Others, however, gallantly and magnanimously set the tempest at +defiance, or blessed their stars for sending them an opportunity of +sitting so close to their fair inamoratas, in order that their loving +pressure might, in some degree, aided by a glass of warm punch, +compensate the sweet creatures for the unexpected drenching they had +got. + +It has been well observed, that there is no class of life in which +instances of great virtue and fortitude may not be found; and the +Justness of the apothegm was fully corroborated here. Cold, bitter and +tempestuous and terrible as was the day, amidst rain, wind, sleet, and +hail, there might be seen, in a thoroughfare about the centre of the +town, a cripple, apparently paralytic from the middle down, seated upon +the naked street, his legs stretched out before him, hirpling onward; by +alternately twisting his miserable body from right to left; while, as +if the softer sex were not to be surpassed in feats of hardihood or +heroism, a tattered creature, in the shape of woman, without cap, shoe, +or stocking, accompanied by two naked and shivering children, whose +artificial lamentations were now lost in those of nature, proceeded up +the street, in the very teeth of the beating tempest, attempting to sing +some dismal ditty, with a voice which resembled the imagined shriekings +of a ghoul, more than the accents of a human being. These two were the +only individuals who, in the true spirit of hardened imposture, braved +all the fury of the elements in carrying out their principles--so true +is it, that a rogue will often advance farther in the pursuit of a +knavish object, than an honest man will in the attainment of a just one. +To them may be added the poor fool of the town, Joe Lockhart, who, from +his childhood, was known to be indifferent to all changes of weather, +and who now, elated by the festive spirit of a fair day, moved about +from place to place, without hat or shoe--neither of which he ever +wore--just with as much indifference as if it had been a day in the +month of June. + +If the inclemency of the day, however, was injurious to the general +transaction of business, there was one class to whose interests it amply +contributed--I mean the publicans, and such as opened _shebeen_ houses, +or erected refreshment tents for the occasion. In a great portion +of Ireland there are to be found, in all fairs, what the people term +_spoileen_ tents--that is, tents in which fresh mutton is boiled, and +sold out, with bread and soup, to all customers. I know not how it +happens; but be the motive or cause what it may, scarcely any one ever +goes into a spoileen tent, unless in a mood of mirth and jocularity. To +eat spoileen seriously, would be as rare a sight as to witness a wife +dancing on her husband's coffin. It is very difficult, indeed, +to ascertain the reason why the eating of fresh mutton in such +circumstances is always associated with a spirit of strong ridicule and +humor. At all events, nothing can exceed the mirth that is always to be +found among the parties who frequent such tents. Fun, laughter, jest, +banter, attack, and repartee fly about in all directions, and the only +sounds heard are those of light-hearted noise and enjoyment. + +Perhaps if the cause of this were closely traced, it might be found +to consist in a sense of shame, which Paddy good humoredly attempts +to laugh away. It is well known that the great body of the people pass +through life, without ever tasting beef or mutton--a, circumstance which +every one acquainted with the country knows to be true. It is also a +fact, that nineteen out of every twenty who go in to eat spoileen, are +actuated more by curiosity than hunger, inasmuch as they consist of such +persons as have never tasted it before. This, therefore, being generally +known, and each possessing latent consciousness of its truth, it is +considered best to take the matter in good humor, and escape the shame +of the thing, together with the poverty it implies, by turning it into +ridicule and jest. This indeed, is pretty evident, from the nature +of the spoileen keeper's observations on being paid, which is +usually--“Thank you, Barney; you may now considher yourself a +gintleman;” or if a female--“Long life to you, Bridget; you may now go +into high life any time.” + +It is unnecessary to say, that on the day in question, the spoileen +tents were crowded to suffocation. In general these are pretty large, +sometimes one, occasionally two fires being kept in each; over these, +placed upon three large stones, or suspended from three poles, united +at top, is the pot or pots in which the spoileen is boiled; whilst +patiently in a corner of the tent, stand the poor invalid sheep, that +are doomed, as necessity may require, to furnish forth this humorous +entertainment. + +Truth to tell, there are many reasons why this feast is a comic one. +In the first place, the description of mutton which they get is badly +calculated to prejudice honest Paddy in favor of that food in general, +it being' well known that in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, the +sacrifice falls upon disease, poverty, and extreme old age; or, if there +be any manifestation of humanity in the selection, it is--that while the +tenderer sex is spared, the male one is in general certain to be made +the victim, but never unless when he has been known to reach a most +patriarchal length of years. Then the suddenness of the act which +converts a portion of the venerable patriarch into a component part of +honest Paddy, is equally remarkable; for it generally happens that the +animal now standing in a corner of the tent, will in about half an +hour be undergoing the process of assimilation in his (Paddy's) gastric +region. The elastic quality of the meat is indeed extraordinary, and +such as, with the knowledge of that fact, does sometimes render +Paddy's treat of spoileen to his sweetheart an act of very questionable +gallantry. Be this as it may, there is scarcely anything in life richer +than to witness a tent of spoileen eaters in full operation. Tugging, +pulling, dragging, tearing, swinging of the head from side to side, want +of success, loss of temper, fatigue of jaw, recovery of good humor, and +the wolfish rally, mingled with mock curses, loud laughter, shouting and +singing, all going on together, are the ordinary characteristics of this +most original banquet. + +About the centre of the town stood one of those houses of entertainment +which holds rank in such towns as a second rate inn. On the day in +question it was painfully overcrowded, and such was the hubbub of +loud talk, laughter, singing, roaring, clattering of pewter pots, and +thumping of tables, that it was almost impossible to hear or understand +anything in the shape of conversation. To this, however, there was one +exception. A small closet simply large enough to hold a table, and two +short forms, opened from a room above stairs looking into the stable +yard. In this there was a good fire, at which sat two men, being, with +a bed and small table, nearly as many as it was capable of holding with +ease. + +One of these was a stout, broad-shouldered person, a good deal +knock-kneed, remarkably sallow in the complexion, with brows black +and beetling. He squinted, too, with one eye, and what between this +circumstance, a remarkably sharp but hooked nose, and the lowering +brows aforesaid, there was altogether about him a singular expression of +acuteness and malignity. In every sense he was a person against whom +you would feel disposed to guard yourself, whether in the ordinary +intercourse of life and its transactions, or still more in the secret +workings of the darker and more vindictive passions. He was what they +call a down-looking man; that is, one who in conversation could never +look you straight in the face, which fact, together with a habit of +quivering observable in his upper lip, when any way agitated, gave +unquestionable proof that his cowardice was equal to his malignity, as +his treachery was to both. His age might be about fifty, or, perhaps +beyond it. + +The other was a tall man, well featured, of a clear fresh complexion, +a fine blue eye, and altogether, a kind, benevolent expression of +countenance. He had been rather stout, but not robust, and might, +perhaps, at the time we write of, be about the same age as his +companion. He was evidently a man of respectability, well dressed, not +badly educated, and on the present occasion wore good broadcloth and +top boots. The contrast between him and the other, was in nothing more +striking than the honest, joyous spirit of his laughter, which rang +clearly and mellowly on your ear, leaving behind it an expression of +candor, light-heartedness, and good nature, that could not be mistaken. +“It's idle talk to speak about going such a day as this,” observed the +beetle-browed man, who stirred up the fire with something that passed +for a poker, in reply; “and to tell you the truth, upon my credit, Mr. +M'Loughlin, I'm not sorry that we happened to meet. You're a man I've +a sincere regard for, and always had--and on that account--well have +something more to drink.” So saying, he stamped upon the floor, which, +was exactly over the bar, in order that some one might attend them with +the liquor. + +“I'm obliged to you, Val,” replied his companion dryly, “for your good +opinion of me; but at the same time, God forbid that I should ever +deserve it--eh? ha, ha, ha. Well, well, let us have some drink, as you +say, at all events; only it must be at my expense as well as the rest. +Well, sure enough, you were the devil's whip-thong in your day, and +if you haven't repented yet, all I can say is, there is little time to +lose, if you wish to have a bright look up at the last day”-- + +“Ha, ha, go on, Mr. M'Loughlin, we all know you, the same pleasant +fellow you ever were, and upon my credit, as good a companion as any +one could sit with. All I wish is that we had here more of the family on +both sides, that the boys and girls might have something to whisper to +one another.” + +“I didn't care we had, Val, my boy; but how on earth will we get home? +Indeed such a terrible day I've seldom seen, for many years.” + +“Faith, it's good to have a dry roof over our heads, and a warm fire +before us, at any rate. There's many a poor half-drowned devil in the +fair, would give a trifle to change places with us; there is, upon my +credit.” + +In a few minutes the refreshments came in, much to the satisfaction +of the parties, who felt a strong sense of comfort, on contrasting the +warmth of their snug little room with the uproar of the storm that raged +without, and spent its fury upon the cold, bleak, and almost deserted +streets. + +“I am glad, indeed, Mr. M'Loughlin,” continued his companion, “that +I happened to meet with you to-day--you and I are now neighbors, and +surely we ought to live like neighbors.” + +“Well,” replied M'Loughlin dryly, “and don't we do so? You haven't found +me troublesome as a neighbor, have you? Eh, Val, my man?” + +“No,” said the other, “certainly I have--upon my credit I haven't, an' +that's what I complain of; neither you nor your family associate with me +or mine.” + +“Tut, Val, man,” replied M'Loughlin, still in the same dry, ironical +tone as before, “surely it's not long since you came to march us. It's +only two years and a half since you wormed out the O'Hagans, then the +farm lay near two years idle--ay--why, man, you're not four months our +neighbor yet.” + +“No--not all out; still, Mr. M'Loughlin, somehow you don't treat me or +my family as neighbors. If you have to borrow anything, no matter what +it is, you never come to me for it. It was only the other day that you +wanted a rope to pull that breeding mare of yours out of the drain--and +yet you sent past me near half a mile, up to Widow Lenehan's to borrow +it.” + +“Heavens pity you, Val, for it's a hard case; but every one has their +troubles, and it seems you are not without your own, poor man--eh--ha! +ha! ha!--Well, never mind, my friend; you're better off now for all +that, than when you were only a process-server on the estate; however, +I'll tell you what, Val the Vulture--you see I can be neighborly +sometimes--just let me know whenever you stand in need of a rope--mark, +I don't say whenever you deserve it--and may I never taste worse liquor +than this, but you shall have it with right good will, hoping still that +you'll make a proper use of it--ha! ha! ha! Come, man, in the mean time +take your liquor, an' don't look as if you'd eat me without salt; for I +tell you if you tried it, you'd find Brian M'Loughlin a tougher morsel +than you imagine.” + +“If anybody else spoke to me in the style you do, Brian, I'd not be apt +to overlook it; upon my credit and reputation I would not.” + +“No, but you'd look round it may be, ha! ha! ha! but go on, Vulture, who +minds what I say?” + +“Nobody, to be sure, because you make one laugh whether they will or +not.” + +“Faith, Vulture dear, and that's what nobody can tax you with; or if +you do, it's on the wrong side of the mouth you do it--and they say that +same is but indifferent mirth, Val.” + +“I wish, Brian, you would sometimes speak seriously, and besides, you're +always hard, too hard, upon me. Anything I did harshly, it was always in +the discharge of my duty.” + +“Never mind, Val, the fewer of those old sores you rip up, the better +for yourself--I'm not going to put you through your catechism about +them. If you're wise, let byegones be byegones; take that advice from +me. Whatever tricks you may have practised, you're now a wealthy man, +and for the same reason the world will help you forget them, if you keep +your toe in your pump.” + +“I _am_ a wealthy man, and can set the world at defiance, if it goes to +that; yes, Brian, a wealthier man than the world thinks--and as I said, +I defy it.” + +“Faith, and you needn't, for the world won't put you to that trouble, at +least a great part of it, if you were ten times the vulture you are, so +long as you have a full purse. Eh, do you perceive me? ha! ha! ha!” + +“Well, damn the devil, heaven pardon me for swearing, for it's a thing I +hate----” + +“----And yet, many a fat oath you've bolted in your time. Now on the +nick of your conscience, Val darling, how many Bibles did you wear out, +by a long and honest course of hard swearing?--eh--ha! ha! ha!” + +“Ha! ha! ha! Brian, I see there is little use in speaking to you, or +being angry with you; you are a devilish pleasant hearty fellow, only +something a little too rough about the tongue.” + +“Never mind, Val, by all accounts it would be easy to reckon them; but +seriously, is it true that the lower joint of your right thumb is horny, +in consequence of having caught the character of your conscience from +having kissed it so often?” + +“Go on, Brian, go on; to be sure it is; they may say what they like--I +am not depending upon them, and I care little. But now, Brian, there +is one thing I will say, and I have long wished for an opportunity of +saying it.” + +“That's my bully, out with it; don't be dashed, Val, you'll get over +your modesty; upon my credit you will--ha! ha! ha!” + +“D--n it, you can't be serious for a minute; but no matter, I will +out with it--here's your health and fireside, in the mean time!” Brian +merely nodded in reply, but said nothing. “Now you know, Brian, your +farm and mine lie very snugly beside one another; observe that that's +what I begin with.” + +“Very good.” + +“Again, your family and mine live very close to one another, too.” + +“Very good.” + +“Now, what if part of the farms, and part of the families were to become +united, and get spliced together, eh?” + +“Very good, very good.” + +“Well, but do you really think so, Brian?” + +“Go on, if you please, and let us hear more of it; state your case, as +you say at the sessions.” + +“Well, then, there's your daughter Mary, a handsome girl, and, by all +accounts, as good as she is handsome--and there's my son Phil, who, +excepting the cast (* Squint)--is--but, at any rate, if he's no beauty, +he's a stout young fellow, for you know yourself that that little +closeness about the knees is always a sign of strength.” + +“That little closeness, Val!--why, Vulture darling, isn't one knee sugar +candy, and the other licking it?--but go on, it's not bad for so far, go +on; upon my credit it's not.” + +“I am glad you like it for so far--then seriously, what would you think +of a marriage between them?” + +“Devil a prettier move you could make, Val. As you say, the farms and +the families lie convenient to one another--and I don't see what's to +prevent your proposal from being realized. You'll do well for Phil, of +course--for although he has the squint in both eyes, instead of only in +one, like yourself--and is twisted very much about the knees, more than +you are a good deal--still, Val--neighbor Val, as I now may call you--he +is a stout, left-legged, round-shouldered blade; and I question whether +the red poll does not become him better than a black one like yours +would.” + +“Why I grant you, Brian, that he looks better on horseback than on foot, +and when mounted on 'Handsome Harry,' with top-boots and spurs, it's +not on every highway you could meet his equal.” + +“Devil a lie in that, Val--nor a boy better made to ride or shoot round +a corner you could not meet in Europe--but never mind; go on, Val--go +on, my friend; no, faith, on hill or in hollow, it would not be easy to +match him.” + +“He'd make an excellent good husband.” + +“He would not be your son if he did not--well?” + +“Well, as to that, if the truth was known, I know where the blame +would lie--your daughter will not be the shrew and scold to him that my +blister was to me--upon my credit she won't.” + +“Devil, a lie in that either, Val--well, well--oh! I'll take my oath she +won't.” + +“I don't see why he and she might not be very happy together--you are +able to do handsomely for her, as report goes.” + +“And willing, Val, and a bad father I'd be, if I were not.” + +“Well then, Brian, so far all looks fair, and devilish glad I am that I +broached the thing at once. I have been thinking of it ever since I came +to the neighborhood--upon my credit I have.”. + +“Faith, and so am I glad of it--but what's to be done next, Val +darling?” + +“Why the less time that's lost upon it the better--we must bring the +youngsters together till they get acquainted--then we can have another +meeting, and settle the match out of hand. Did you ever see Phil on +'Handsome Harry?'” + +“Didn't I?--to be sure I did--and upon my word, Val, he's a credit to +the horse he rides, as the horse is to him--a comely couple they are in +truth. But, Val, or neighbor Val, as I now may call you, don't you think +it would be better to wind up this business now that our hand's in for +it? Let us hear what you'll do, and I'll follow you on my part, for +there's no use in losing time about it--upon my credit there's not.” + +“What would you think, then, of the farm we're in now--that is, the +O'Hagan property, as you call it? Suppose I gave him that, what will +you come down with for the girl? I know it can't be under three +hundred--come, say three hundred, and it's a match.” + +“Three hundred! Oh! Val, you're too soft--too moderate--too mild--indeed +you are--why three hundred would be nothing against the O'Hagan +property, as you call it--and, indeed, I don't intend to put my daughter +off under five hundred, and that's nearly double what three is--eh, Val, +what do you say, upon your credit now?” + +“Faith, I'll not quarrel with you if you make it six or eight.” + +“Well now,” said M'Loughlin, rising up, whilst his honest features were +lit with indignation, “this joke or this impudence on your part, has +gone far enough--listen to me. What did I or my family do, I ask my +own conscience in the name of God--what sin did we commit--whom did we +oppress--whom did we rob--whom did we persecute--that a scoundrel like +you, the bastard spawn of an unprincipled profligate, remarkable only +for drunkenness, debauchery, and blasphemy--what, I say, did I and my +family do, that you, his son, who were, and are to this day, the low, +mean, willing scourge of every oppressor, the agent of their crimes--the +instrument of their villianies--you who undermined the honest man--who +sold and betrayed the poor man--who deceived and misled the widow and +her orphans, and rose upon their ruin--who have robbed your employers +as well as those you were employed against--a double traitor--steeped in +treachery, and perjured a thousand times to the core of your black and +deceitful heart--what crime, I say again, did I or mine commit--that +we, whose name and blood has been without a stain for a thousand years, +should suffer the insult that you now have offered Us--eh, look me in +the face now if you can, and answer me if you are able?” + +M'Cloughlin as he concluded, calmly folded his arms, and looked at his +companion resolutely but sternly. The other, to do him justice, did +certainly raise his head, and fix his evil eye upon him for a moment--it +dropped after a single glance; in truth, he quailed before M'Loughlin; +his upper lip, as usual, quivered--his brow lowered, and looked black as +midnight, whilst all the rest of his face became the color of ashes. +In fact, that white smile, which is known to be the very emblem of +cowardice and revenge, sat upon his countenance, stamping upon it at +once the character of the spectre and the demon--a being to be both +feared and hated. + +“Well, Brian M'Loughlin,” returned the other, “hear me.” + +“Don't dare to Brian me, sir,” returned M'Loughlin; “I'm a very humble +man, and ought to be an humble man, for I know well what a sinner I +am before God--but for all that, and if it were against even +religion itself--I feel too proud to suffer you to speak to me as you +do--no--don't Brian me, but listen and let me show you what you are, and +what you have been; I can't say what you will be, that does not lie with +any but God.” + +“Well,” said M'Clutchy, “go on; I now can hear you, and what is more, I +wish to hear you--and whisper--speak your worst.” + +It is said, that both cowardice and despair have their courage, and it +would appear from the manner and action of this man, that he now felt +actuated by some vague feeling resembling that which we have described. +He rose up and said, + +“Brian M'Loughlin, do you think I ever can forget this?” + +“What do you mean by that,” said M'Loughlin, “look me in the face, I +say, and tell me what you mean by it. I'm a man, and an honest man, and +there's no treachery about me.” + +The sternness with which he spoke, made the other quail again. + +“There was little in it,” he replied, in a rebuked but cold and +malignant spirit; “I didn't think you were so violent. I bore a great +deal from you this day, Mr. M'Louglin--a great deal, indeed, and so +patiently as I bore it too; upon my credit I did.” + +M'Loughlin made no reply, but stamped on the floor, in order to bring up +some person to whom he might pay the reckoning. + +“You need not stamp,” said the other, “this is my share of the +reckoning.” + +“Your share, no: I told you before, it must not be yours. I wouldn't +have it said, that bit or sup, paid for by your ill-gotten wealth, +should ever cross my lips--no, no.” + +The waiter, or rather waitress, a red-haired, barefooted wench, now came +up. + +“Here,” said M'Loughlin, “take the refreshments we've had last out of +that, and keep the change to yourself. I have settled what we've had +before, as well as this.” + +“And why not allow me to settle for this?” asked M'Clutchy. + +“Because,” replied this honest and respectable man, “I could not swallow +a thimbleful of anything paid for by your money; what is it? If I did I +would dream for weeks of all that you have done, or if I didn't dream, +the sorrows and the wrongs of my near relative, Widow O'Hagan and her +family, would prevent me from sleeping; the Kellys that you've driven to +beggary--The Gormleys that you got put out--good God! and who now holds +their places? Your own cousin. It's useless, however, to mention all +you've done. You, Val the Vulture, as the people call you, are one of +those scourges that rise and flourish upon the distresses of the poor, +and the injustice that you yourself bring upon them by your falsehood +and calumny; and all because the property they live on is neglected by +those who have a right to look after it. Ay, there is another of your +white and cowardly laughs. Well, you know that there is not a neglected +estate in the country but can produce another vulture like yourself, +playing the same heartless pranks upon the poor people--tying, +misrepresenting, swaggering over and robbing them, and that, too, in the +open face of day, merely because you think there is no one to bring you +to an account. + +“Now go home,” he added, “and when next you want to get a wife for your +spanking son, that's likely to become a squireen upon our hands, don't +come to Brian M'Loughlin, who knows you from the paring of the nails to +the core of the heart.” + +M'Glutchy looked at him and laughed again; “before you go, at all +events,” he replied, “I hope you remember the observation I made when I +introduced the discourse.” + +“I can't say I do,” said M'Loughlin, “but I suppose you will let us hear +it.” + +“I will,” replied Val, and his brow darkened as before. “It was +this--your farm and mine lie very snugly together--observe, I said, +'_that's what I begin with_'--didn't I say that?” + +“You did, and now what else do you say?” + +“The very same thing--that _your farm, and mine lie snugly +together_--and mark me, Mr. M'Loughlin--” + +“I do--oh, upon my credit I do--ha, ha, ha!” + +“Than _that's what I end with_.” + +“Ah,” replied M'Loughlin indignantly, “you think you have the ball at +your own foot, now that old Topertoe is gone, and his son has made you +his under agent. A nice job indeed it was, that transformed old drunken +Tom Topertoe into Lord Cumber, and made his son, the present Lord, too +proud to live on his own estate. However, I'd be glad to see the honest +man that ever envied the same old Tom his title, when we all know that +he got it for selling his country. As for you, Vulture, I defy and +despise you; when my rent's due, thank God I am able to pay it, so you +may do your worst. While Mr. Hickman's over you, the tenants have some +protection, in spite of your villainy, you unprincipled scoundrel.” + +“Our farms lie snugly together, Mr: M'Loughlin, and _that's what I end +with_.” + +It was from the town of Castle Cumber, which we have described at the +opening of our narrative, that old Tom Topertoe, a squire of the true +Irish kidney, took his title. Topertoe, or Lord Castle Cumber, as we +must now call him, like many others, had the high honor of being a Union +Lord--that, is to say his attachment to his principles was so steady, +that he did not hesitate to sell his country for a title, and we may +add, something besides. It is not our intention, at this distance of +time, to discuss the merits of either the union or its repeal; but in +justice to truth and honor, or, perhaps, we should rather say, fraud and +profligacy, we are constrained to admit, that there is not to be found +in the annals of all history, any political negotiation based upon such +rank and festering corruption, as was the legislative union. Had the +motives which actuated the English government towards this country been +pure, and influenced by principles of equality and common justice, they +would never have had recourse to such unparalleled profligacy. This is +self-evident, for those who seek an honorable end will scorn to obtain +it by foul and dishonorable means. The conduct of England, therefore, in +this base and shameless traffic, is certainly a _prima face_ evidence +of her ultimate policy--a policy blacker in the very simplicity of its +iniquity than its worst enemies can paint it, and so obvious in its +character, that we question whether a man could be found, of ordinary +information, belonging to any party, capable at this moment of +deliberately and conscientiously defending it, so far as pertains to +this transaction. But enough of this. + +Before the union, old Topertoe was master of three votes--that is, he +sat himself for the county, and returned members for two boroughs. He +was known by the sobriquet of Pater Noster Tom--not from any disposition +to devotion; but because, whether in parliament, on the hustings, or, +indeed, anywhere else, he never made a speech longer than the Lord's +Prayer. And yet, short as it was, it generally puzzled the shrewdest +and most sagacious of his audience to understand it. Still, though not +without his faults, he was by no means a bad landlord, as landlords +went. 'Tis true he was fond of his wine and of his wench--as a proof of +which, it was well known that he seldom or ever went to,bed with less +than four or five bottles under his belt; and as touching the latter, +that he had two agents in pay to cater for his passions. In both these +propensities he was certainly countenanced by the usages and moral +habits of the times; and the truth is, he grew rather popular than +otherwise, precisely on account of them. He was bluff, boisterous, and +not ill-natured--one of that bygone class who would horsewhip a tenant +to-day and fight a duel for him to-morrow. Above all things, he resided +on his estate, knew all his tenantry by name and person, and contracted, +by degrees, a kind of anomalous attachment for them, merely because they +were his property, and voted and fought for him at elections, and +often fought with him touching their relative positions of landlord and +tenant. Indeed, we question whether he would not enter into a quarrel as +readily for a tenant as he would for a favorite dog or horse; and we are +inclined to think, that to do him justice, he laid nearly as much value +on the one as on the other--a circumstance which we dare say several of +our modern landlords, both resident and absentee, will consider as, on +our part, a good-humored stretch of fiction. + +His speech at elections absolutely became a proverb in the country; and, +indeed, when we remember the good-natured license of the times, as +many still may, together with the singular blending of generosity +and violence, horsewhipping and protection, mirth and mischief which +characterized the bearing of such men as Topertoe, we are fain to think, +to vary the proverb a little, that he might have spoken more and fared +worse. + +“Here I am again, ye blaggards; your own ould Topertoe, that never had +a day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it. Damn your bloods, ye +affectionate rascals, sure you love me, and I love you, and 't isn't +Gully Preston (his opponent) that can cut our loves in two. No, boys, +he's not the blade to do that, at any rate! Hurra then, ye vagabones; +ould Tom Topertoe for ever! He loves his bottle and his wench, and will +make any rascal quiver on a daisy that would dare to say bow to your +blankets. Now, Gully Preston, make a speech--if you can! Hurra for Tom +Topertoe, that never had a day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it! +and don't listen to Gully Preston, boys! Hurra!” + +This speech, from which he never varied, was waited for at elections +with a vehemence of mirth and a force of popularity which no eloquence +brought against him could withstand. Indeed, it was perfectly well known +that it alone returned him, for when upon an occasion of considerable +doubt and difficulty, the two parties of the county having been +considered as equally balanced, he was advised by some foolish +friend, or enemy in disguise, to address them in a serious speech, the +consequences were near proving disastrous to his interests. When +he commenced--“Gentlemen--upon an occasion of such important +difficulty”--there was for about a quarter of a minute a dead +silence--that of astonishment--Topertoe, however, who had stuck fast, +was obliged to commence again---“Gentlemen--upon an occasion, of +such--” but it would not do, the groaning, shouting, hooting, and +yelling, were deafening for some minutes, much to the gratification of +his opponent. At length there was something like a pause, and several +voices shouted out--“what the divil do you mane, Tom?” “He's showin' +the garran bane at last,” shouted another--“desartin' his colors!”--“oh! +we're gintlemen now it seems, an' not his own blaggards, as we used to +be--Tiper-to'e's vagabones that stood by him--oh no! Tom, to hell wid +you and your gintlemen--three cheers for Gully Preston!” + +Tom saw it was nearly over with him, and Preston's hopes ran high. +“Aisy, boys,” said the other, resuming his old, and, indeed, his natural +manner--“Aisy, ye vagabones--Topertoe's ould speech for ever! Here I am +again, ye blaggards, that never had a day's illness but the gout, +bad luck to it!” &c, &c. This was enough, the old feeling of fun and +attachment kindled up--the multitude joined him in his speech, precisely +as a popular singer is joined by the gods of the upper gallery in +some favorite air, and no sooner was it concluded, than the cheering, +throwing up of hats, and huzzaing, gave ample proof that he had +completely recovered his lost ground, and set himself right with the +people. + +Such is a brief of old Topertoe, the first Lord of Castle Cumber, who, +by the way, did not wear his honors long, the gout, to which he was a +martyr, having taken him from under his coronet before he had it a year +on his brow. He was one of the men peculiar to his times, or rather who +aided in shaping them; easy, full of strong but gross impulses, quick +and outrageous in resentment, but possessed of broad uncouth humor, and +a sudden oblivion of his passion. Without reading or education--he was +coarse, sensual, careless, and extravagant, having no stronger or purer +principle to regulate him than that which originated in his passions +or his necessities. Of shame or moral sanction he knew nothing, and +consequently held himself amenable to the world on two points only--the +laws of duelling and those of gaming. He would take an insult from no +man, and always paid his gambling debts with honor; but beyond that, he +neither feared nor cared for anything in this world--and being a member +of the Hellfire Club, he did not believe in the other. In fact he was +the very man on whose peculiar temperament and character a corrupt and +wily politician might expect to impress his own principles with success. +Topertoe was consequently not only the very man to sell his country, but +to sell, it at the highest price, and be afterwards the first to laugh, +as he did, at his own corruption. + +Of his eldest son, who of course succeeded to his rank and property, +there is not so much to be said at present, because he will appear, to +some extent, as an actor in our drama. It is enough then to say here +that he inherited his father's vices, purged of their vulgarity and +grossness, without a single particle of his uncertain and capricious +good nature. In his manners he appeared more of the gentleman; was +lively, shallow, and versatile; but having been educated at an English +school and an English college, he felt, or affected to feel, all the +fashionable prejudices of the day and of his class against his native +country. He was an absentee from both pride and inclination, and it is +not surprising then that he knew but little of Ireland, and that little +was strongly to its disadvantage. + +Another brother there was, whose unpretending character requires little +else than merely that he should be named. The honorable Alexander +Topertoe, who was also educated in England, from the moment his father +stained what he conceived to be the honor of their family by receiving a +title and twenty thousand pounds, as a bribe for his three votes against +a native parliament--hung his head in mortification and shame, and +having experienced at all times little else than neglect from his father +and brother, he hurried soon afterwards to the continent with a heavy +heart and a light purse, where for the present we must leave him. + + + + +CHAPTER II.--Birth and Origin of Mr. M'Clutchy + +Christian Forgiveness--Mr. Hickman, the Head Agent--Darby O'Drive, the +Bailiff--And an Instructive Dialogue. + + +Time, which passes with a slow but certain pace, had already crept twice +around his yearly circle since the fair already described in the town +of Castle Cumber. The lapse of three years, however, had made no change +whatsoever in the heart or principles of Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, +although he had on his external manner and bearing. He now assumed more +of the gentleman, and endeavored to impress himself upon those who came +in contact with him, as a person of great authority and importance. +One morning after the period just mentioned had! elapsed, he and his +graceful son, “Mister Phil,” were sitting in the parlor of Constitution +Cottage, for so they were pleased to designate a house which had no +pretension whatever to that unpretending appellation. + +“So father,” said Phil, “you don't forget that such was the treatment +M'Loughlin gave you!” + +“Why, I remember it, Phil; but you know, Phil, I'm a patient and a +forgiving man notwithstanding; you know that Phil;--ha, ha, ha!” + +“That was certainly the worst case came across us yet,” replied the son, +“none of the rest ventured to go so far, even when you had less power +than you have now.” + +“I didn't tell you all, Phil,” continued the father, following up the +same train of thought. + +“And why not,” said Phil, “why should you conceal anything from me?” + +“Because,” replied the other, “I think you have heard enough for the +present.” + +The fact was, that M'Clutchy's consciousness of the truth contained +in M'Loughlin's indignant reproaches, was such as prevented him from +repeating them, even to his son, knowing right well that had he done +so they could not exactly have looked each other in the face without +sensations regarding their own conduct, which neither of them wished to +avow. There is a hypocrisy in villainy sometimes so deep that it cannot +bear to repeat its own iniquity, even in the presence of those who are +aware of it, and in this predicament stood Valentine M'Clutchy. + +“Maybe he has relented,” said Phil, “or that he will give me his pretty +daughter yet--and you know they have the cash. The linen manufactory of +M'Loughlin and Harman is flourishing.” + +“No, no, Phil,” replied the father, “you must give her up--that's +past--but no matter, I'll forgive him.” + +Phil looked at him and smiled. “Come, come, father,” said he, “be +original--that last is a touch of M'Slime--of honest Solomon. Keep back +the forgiveness yet awhile, may be they may come round--begad, and upon +my honor and reputation, I shouldn't wish to lose the girl--no, father, +don't forgive them yet awhile.” + +“Phil, we'll do better for you, boy--don't be a fool, I say, but have +sense--I tell you what, Phil,” continued his father, and his face +assumed a ghastly, deadly look, at once dark and pallid, “listen to +me;--I'll forgive him, Phil, until the nettle, the chick-weed, the +burdock, the fulsome preshagh, the black fungus, the slimiest weed that +grows--aye, till the green mould of ruin itself, grows upon the spot +that is now his hearth--till the winter rain beats into, and the whiter +wind howls over it.” + +“No marriage, then,” said Phil. “No marriage; but what keeps Darby +O'Drive? the rascal should have been here before--oh no,” said he, +looking at his watch, “he has better than half an hour yet.” + +“What steps do you intend to take, father?” + +“Phil, when I'm prepared, you shall know them. In the meantime leave +me--I must write to M'Slime, or send to him. M'Slime's useful at a hint +or suggestion, but, with all his wiliness and hypocrisy, not capable of +carrying a difficult matter successfully out; he overdoes everything by +too much caution, and consequently gets himself into ridiculous scrapes, +besides I cannot and will not place full confidence in him. He is too +oily, and cants too much, to be trusted; I think, still, we may use him +and overreach him into the bargain. Are you going into Castle Cumber?” + +“I am.” + +“Well, drop these couple of letters in the post office, and tell Rankin +he must have the Garts finished by Monday next, at the farthest, or it +will be worse for him. By the way, I have that fellow in my eye too--he +had the assurance to tell me the other day, that he could not possibly +undertake the carts until he had M'Loughlin's job at the manufactory +finished. Off with you now, I see O'Drive and Hanlon coming up.” + +Graceful Phil in a few minutes was mounted in his usual lofty state on +“Handsome Harry,” and dashed off to Castle Cumber. + +It may not be improper here, before we proceed farther, to give the +reader some additional knowledge of the parentage and personal history +of Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, as well as a brief statement concerning the +Castle Cumber property, and the gentleman who acted in the capacity of +head agent. + +The mother, then, of Valentine M'Clutchy, or as he was more generally +called Val the Vulture, was daughter to the county goaler, Christie +Clank by name, who had risen regularly through all the gradations of +office, until the power of promotion could no farther go. His daughter, +Kate Clank, was a celebrated beauty, and enjoyed a considerable extent +of local reputation, independently of being a great favorite with the +junior portion of the grand jury. Among the latter, however, there was +one, a young squire of very libertine principles, named Deaker, whose +suit to the fair Miss Clank proved more successful than those of his +competitors, and the consequence was the appearance of young Val. The +reader, therefore, already perceives that M'Clutchy's real name was +Deaker; but perhaps he is not aware that, in the times of which we +write, it was usual for young unmarried men of wealth not to suffer +their illegitimate children to be named after them. There were, indeed, +many reasons for this. In the first place, the mere fact of assuming the +true name, was a standing argument of the father's profligacy. Secondly, +the morals of the class and the period were so licentious, that the +legitimate portion of a family did not like to be either outnumbered or +insulted by their namesakes and illegitimate relatives, almost at +every turn of the public roads. In the third place, a young man of +this description could not, when seeking for a wife, feel the slightest +inclination to have a living catalogue of his immoralities enumerated +to her, under the names of Tom, or Dick, or Val so and so, all his +children. This, of course, was an involuntary respect paid to modesty, +and perhaps the strongest argument for suppressing the true name. The +practice, however, was by no means universal; but in frequent instances +it existed, and Val the Vulture's was one of them. He was named after +neither father or mother, but after his grandmother, by the gaoler's +side. Deaker would not suffer his name to be assumed; and so far as +his mother was concerned, the general tenor of her life rendered the +reminiscence of her's anything but creditable to her offspring. With +respect to his education, Val's gratitude was principally due to his +grandfather Clank, who had him well instructed. He himself, from the +beginning, was shrewd, clever, and intelligent, and possessed the power, +in a singular degree, of adapting himself to his society, whenever he +felt it his interest to do so. He could, indeed, raise or depress his +manners in a very surprising degree, and with an effort that often +occasioned astonishment. On the other hand, he was rapacious, +unscrupulous, cowardly, and so vindictive, that he was never known to +forgive an injury. These are qualities to which, when you add natural +adroitness and talent, you have such a character as has too frequently +impressed itself, with something like the agreeable sensations produced +by a red hot burning iron, upon the distresses, fears, and necessities +of the Irish people. + +M'Clutchy rose from the humble office of process-server to that of +bailiff's follower, bailiff, head-bailiff, barony constable, until, +finally, he felt himself a kind of factotum on the Castle Cumber +property; and in proportion as he rose, so did his manners rise with +him. For years before his introduction to our readers, he was the +practical manager of the estate; and so judiciously did he regulate +his own fortunes on it, that without any shameless or illegal breach of +honesty, he actually contrived to become a wealthy man, and to live in +a respectable manner. Much, however, will have more, and Val was +rapacious. On finding himself comparatively independent, he began to +take more enlarged, but still very cautious measures to secure some of +the good things of the estate to him and his. This he was the better +able to do, as he had, by the apparent candor of his manner, completely +wormed himself into the full confidence of the head agent--a gentleman +of high honor and integrity, remarkable alike for humanity and +benevolence; but utterly without suspicion. Two or three farms, whose +leases dropped, he most iniquitously took into his own hands, and so +far wheedled the agent, that he induced that gentleman to think he was +rendering a service to the property by doing so. The tenantry now +began to murmur--a complaint came here, and another there--here was an +instance of private and disguised oppression; and this was followed by +a, vindictive attempt to injure either the property or character of some +one who had the courage to tell him what he thought of his conduct. + +Val apprehending that he might be out-borne by too powerful a mass +of testimony, contrived just then, through his misrepresentations to the +agent, who still confided in him, and by the political influence of +his father, the squire, who was the landlord's strongest electioneering +supporter in the county, to get himself formally appointed under-agent. +Feeling now quite confident in his strength, and that his hold on the +prejudices, and, we may add, the ignorance of the absentee landlord, was +as strong, if not stronger than those of the agent himself, he began +to give a greater and less guarded scope to his natural principles. +Mr. Hickman, the agent, had been strongly disgusted by the political +profligacy with which the union was carried; and had, on more than one +occasion, intimated a doubt whether, as an honest man, he could render +political support to any one who had participated in its corruption or +recognized the justice of those principles on which it had been +carried. All this gave M'Clutchy that imperturbable insolence which is +inseparable from petty tyranny and licensed extortion. Day after day did +his character come out in all its natural deformity. The outcry against +him was not now confined to this portion of the property, or that--it +became pretty general; and, perhaps, at the time we have brought him on +the stage, there was not a man in Ireland, holding the situation he did, +who was more feared and more detested. + +Some time previous to this, however, Hickman's eyes were opened to his +undisguised character, and what he could do he did. On finding that the +Vulture was reviving all the oppressive usages with which property +in Ireland is so penally taxed, he immediately gave orders that such +exactions should be discontinued by M'Clutchy, and resisted by the +tenants. In spite of all this, however, there were upon the property +many timid persons, who, dreading his malignity of purpose, still +continued to yield to his avarice and rapacity, that which nothing else +but a dread of his vengeance could extort from them. Thus did he feather +his nest at the expense of their terrors. + +Hickman, who had also been agent to old Topertoe, felt a kind of +personal attachment to that good-humored reprobate, so long as he +believed him to be honest. Old Tom's venality, however, at the union, +made him rather sick of the connection, and the conduct, or rather +expensive profligacy of the young absentee Lord, rendered his situation, +as an honest and humane agent, one of great pain to himself, considering +his position between landlord and tenant. + +He knew besides, that many men of his class had taken most scandalous +advantages of the embarrassments which their dishonesty had occasioned +in the affairs of their employers, and lent them their own rents in the +moments of distress, in order to get a lien on their property. For this +reason, and out of a feeling of honor and self-respect, Mr. Hickman had +made it a point of principle to lend the young Lord, no money under any +circumstances. As far as he could legitimately, and within the ordinary +calculations of humanity, feed Lord Cumber's prodigality of expenditure +he did it. This, however, was not exactly the kind of agent which his +lordship wanted, and however highly he respected, and honored him, still +that direful word necessity goaded him into a forgetfulness of his own +real interests, and of what was due to Hickman. He wanted an agent +with less feeling, less scruple, less independence, and more of that +accommodating principle which would yield itself to, and go down with, +the impetuous current of his offensive vices, and satisfy their cravings +even at his own ruin. Such, then, was M'Clutchy--such the position of +Mr. Hickman, the agent--and such the general state of the Castle Cumber +property. As to the principles and necessities of its proprietor, if +they are not already known, we may assure our readers that they soon +will be. + +Constitution Cottage, M'Clutchy's residence, was, in fact, no cottage at +all, as we have said, but a very respectable house, and of considerable +size. Attached to it was an extensive yard and office houses, an +excellent garden, orchard, pigeon house, and everything, in fact, that +could constitute substantial comfort and convenience. It was situated +beside a small clump of old beeches, that sheltered it from the +north--to the front lay, at a few miles distance, a range of fine +mountains--and between them stretched as rich a valley, both in +fertility and beauty, as the eye of man could rest upon. The ground +before the door fell by an easy and gradual descent, until a little +further down it reached a green expanse of level meadow, through which +a clear river wound its lingering course, as if loth to pass away from +between the rich and grassy banks that enclosed it. It was, in fact, a +spot of that calm and perfectly rural character which draws the heart +unconsciously to the secret charm that rests upon it, and which even the +casual traveler leaves behind him with regret. Some improvements were +at the present time in an incipient state--such as plantations--garden +walls--and what seemed the lines of an avenue, or approach to the house, +which, by the way, stood in the centre of a farm that consisted of about +eighty Irish acres. + +At length a single knock came, which was given by O'Drive, for Hanlon, +who was his assistant, durst not attempt such a thing in his presence; +and if ever a knock conveyed the duplicity of the man who gave it, that +did. Though, as we said, but a single one, yet there was no mistaking +its double meaning. It was impudent and servile; it was impudent, as +much as to say to the servants, “why don't you open the door quickly for +a man who is so deep in your master's confidence as I am?” while to that +master himself, it said, or seemed to say, “I am your creature, your +instrument, your slave, ready to execute any oppression, any hardship, +or villainy, on which you can employ me.” + +It is said, and we believe with truth, that in military life no officer +is so severe and oppressive as he who has risen from the ranks, and been +most obsequious there. We do not doubt it, for the principle is a strong +one in human nature, and is by no means confined to either the army or +navy. At all events, shuffling, and cringing, and slinking Darby O'Drive +presented himself to Val the Vulture. There was a downcast, cowardly, +shy, uneasy, expression in his blank, straggling features, that seemed +to say, for God's sake spare my very life--don't annihilate me--here +I am--you see through me--heart, spirit, and soul--body, lungs, and +lights--could I tell _you_ a lie? No. Could I deceive you--such a man as +you, that can look through me as if I was a lanthorn, or a pane of +glass without a bull's eye in it. No! only let me live and I'll do your +bidding. + +“Well,” said Val, in a sharp, imperious;one, “you're punctual for a +wonder.” + +“God be praised for that,” replied Darby, wiping the top of his nose +with the finger and thumb of an old mitten, “heaven be praised that I'm +not late.” + +“Hold your damned canting, tongue, you knave, what place is this for +it?” + +“Knave! well I am then.” + +“Yes, you know you are--you are all knaves--every bailiff is a +knave--ahem--unless, indeed, one in a thousand.” + +“It's truth, indeed, plaise your honor.” + +“Not but there's worse than you after all, and be damned to you.” + +“An' betther, sir, too, i' you please, for sure, God help me, I'm not +what I ought to be.” + +“Well, mend then, why don't you? for you want it. Come now, no jaw, I +tell you, but answer me what I am about to ask you; not a word now.” + +“Well, no then, plaise your honor, I won't in throth.” + +“Did you warn the townland of Ballymackscud?” + +“Yis, plaise your honor.” + +“Are they ready--have they the rent?” + +“Only some o' them, sir,--an other some is axin' for time, the thieves.” + +“Who are asking for time?” + +“Why the O'Shaughrans, sir--hopin', indeed, that your honor will let +them wait till the markets rises, an not be forced to sell the grain +whin the prices is so low now that it would ridin them--but it's +wondherful the onraisonableness of some people. Says I, 'his honor, Mr. +M'Clutchy, is only doin' his duty; but a betther hearted or a kinder man +never bruk the world's bread than he is to them that desarves it at +his hands;' so, sir, they began to--but--well, well, it's no matther--I +tould them they were wrong--made it plain to them--but they wouldn't be +convinced, say what I might.” + +“Why, what did they say, were they abusing me--I suppose so?” + +“Och! the poor sowls, sure it was only ignorance and foolishness on +their part--onraisonable cratures all or most of them is.” + +“Let me know at once what they said, you knave, or upon my honor and +soul I'll turn you out of the room and bring in Hanlon.” + +“Plaise your honor, he wasn't present--I left him outside, in regard +that I didn't think he was fit to be trust--a safe with--no matther, +'twas for a raison I had.” He gave a look at M'Clutchy as he spoke, +compounded of such far and distant cunning, scarcely perceptible--and +such obvious, yet retreating cowardice, scarcely perceptible also---that +no language could convey any notion of it. + +“Ah!” said Val, “you are a neat lad--but go on--what did they say, for I +must have it out of you.” + +“That I may die in happiness, your honor, but I'm afeard to tell +you--but, sure, if you'd give your promise, sir--your bright word of +honor, that you'd not pay me off for it, I'll tell you.” + +“Ah! you d----d crawling reptile, out with it--I won't pay you off.” + +[Illustration: PAGE 142-- there's as many curses before you in hell] + +“Well, then, here it is--oh! the curse o' Cromwell on them this day, +for an ungrateful pack! they said, your honor, that--bad luck to them I +pray--that there wasn't so black-hearted a scoundrel on the face of the +airth as your four quarthers--that the gallows is gapin' for you--and +that there's as many curses before you in hell as 'ud blisther a +griddle.” + +M'Clutchy's face assumed its usual expression of diabolical malignity, +whilst, at the same time, he gave a look so piercing at Darby, as if +suspecting that the curse, from its peculiar character, was at least +partially his own invention,--that the latter, who stood like a +criminal, looking towards the floor, felt precisely what was going +forward in the other's mind, and knew that he had nothing else for +it but to look him steadily in the face, as a mark of his perfect +innocence. Gradually, therefore, and slowly he raised his small gray +eyes until they met those of M'Clutchy, and thus the gaze continued +for nearly a minute between them, and that with such steadiness on both +sides, that they resembled a mesmeric doctor and his patient, rather +than anything else to which we could compare them. On the part of +M'Clutchy the gaze was that of an inquisitor looking into the heart of +him whom he suspected; on that of Darby, the eye, unconscious of evil, +betrayed nothing but the purest simplicity and candor. + +And yet, when we consider that Darby most unquestionably did not only +ornament, but give peculiar point to the opinions expressed by the +tenantry against the Vulture, perhaps we ought to acknowledge that of +the two he possessed a larger share of histrionic talent. + +At length M'Clutchy, whose eye, for reasons with which the reader is +already acquainted, was never either a firm or a steady one, removed it +from Darby, who nevertheless followed it with a simple but pertinacious +look, as much as to say, I have told you truth, and am now waiting your +leisure to proceed. + +“What do you stare at?” said M'Clutchy, strongly disposed to vent his +malignity on the next object to him; “and, you beggarly scoundrel, what +did you say to that? Tell me, or I'll heave you, head foremost, through +the window?” + +“Why,” replied Darby, in a quiet, confident, and insinuating tone, “I +raisoned wid them--raisoned wid them like a Christian. 'Now, Sheemus +O'Shaughran,' says I, 'you've said what I know to be a lie. I'm not the +man to put ill between you and his honor, Mr. M'Clutchy, but at the same +time,' says I, 'I'm his sarvint, and as an honest man I must do my duty. +I don't intend to mintion a syllable of what you said this day; but as +his sarvint, and gettin' bread through him, and undher him, I can't, nor +I won't, suffer his honor to be backbitten before his own face--for it's +next to that. Now,' says I, 'be guided by me, and all will be right. In +the first place, you know, he's entitled to _duty-fowl_*--in the next +place, he's entitled to _duty-work_.' 'Ay, the landlord is,' said they, +'but not the Vul----' 'Whisht,' says I, in a friendly whisper, puttin' +my hand across Dan's mouth, an' winkin' both my eyes at him; 'send his +honor down a pair of them fine fat turkeys--I know his honor's fond +o' them; but that's not all,' says I--'do you wish to have a friend in +coort? I know you do. Well and good--he's drawing gravel to make a new +avenue early next week, so, Sheemus O'Shaughran, if you wish to have +two friends in coort--a great one and a little one'--manin' myself, God +pardon me, for the little one, your honor--'you will,' says I 'early on +next Monday mornin', send down a pair of horses and carts, and give him +a week's duty work. Then,' says I, 'lave the rest to _somebody_, for I +won't name names.'--No, your honor, I did'nt bring Hanlon in.--By the +same token, as a proof of it, there's young Bandy Shaughran, the son, +wid a turkey under aich arm, comin'up to the hall door.” + + * These were iniquitous exactions, racked from the poor + tenantry by the old landlords or their agents. + +“Well,” proceeded M'Clutchy, without a single observation, “did you call +on the Slevins?” + +“Yes, sir; they're ready.” + +“The Magonnels?” + +“Not ready, sir; but a pair of geese, and two men on next Thursday and +Saturday. On Friday they must go to market to buy two _slips_.” (* young +pigs). + +“Widow Gaffney?” + +“Not ready, sir; but that I may never die in sin, a 'cute shaver.” + +“Why so--what did she say?” + +“Oh, Mr. Hickman, sir, the head agent, your honor; that's the go. +Throth, the same Mr. Hickman is--but, God forbid, sir, I'd spake a word +against the absent; but any way, he's a good round thrifle, one way or +the other, out of your pocket, from Jinny-warry to December.” + +“Darby, my good man, and most impertinent scoundrel, if you wish +to retain your present situation, never open your lips against that +excellent gentleman, Mr. Hickman. Mark my words--out you go, if I ever +discover that you mention him with disrespect.” + +“Well, I won't then; and God forgive me for spakin' the truth--when it's +not right.” + +“Did you see the Mulhollands?” + +“Mr. Hickman again, sir, an' bad luck to---- Beg pardon, sir, I forgot. +Throth, sir, when I mentioned the duty work an' the new aveny, they +whistled at you.” + +“Whistled at me!” + +“Yes, sir; an' said that Mr. Hickman tould them to give you neither duty +fowl nor duty work, but to do their own business, and let you do yours. +Ay, and 'twas the same from all the rest.” + +“Well,” said Val, going to the window and looking abroad for a minute +or two,--“well--so much for Ballymackscud; now for its next neighbor, +Ballymackfud.” + +“Mr. Hickman again, sir. The divil sweep the same Hickman, any way,” + said Darby, in an aside, which he knew the other could easily hear. “Out +of the whole townland, sir, all I got was two men for the aveny--a goose +from Barney Scadden, and her last ten, along wid half-a-dozen eggs, from +that dacent creature, widow M'Murt. Throth four fine little clildre she +has, if they had anything on them, or anything to keep body and sowl +together.” + +“You warned them all, of course?” + +“Every sowl in the townland of Ballymackt 'ud; and there's the upshot. +But it's all Mr. Hickman, sir; for he tould them--'I will have none of +this work,' says he; 'the tenants musn't be harrished and fleeshed +in this manner,' says he. Yes, your honor, that's the upshot from +Ballymackfud--two day's work--a sick goose (for I disremembered +to mention that Barney said, wid a wink, that she'd require great +attintion, as she was in a delicate state of health)--one ould hen, and +a half-a-dozen eggs; which wouldn't be the case, only for Hickman--not +but he's a very respectable gentleman--by all accounts.” + +“I told you before, sirra, that I will have nothing offensive to him +mentioned in my presence. Give this letter to Mr. M'Slime, and bring me +an answer as soon as you can. Will you have a glass of spirits?” + +“Would it be intherfairin' wid my duty, sir?” + +“If you think so, don't take it; you ought to know best.” + +“Well, then, for this one time, in regard of a _Lhin-roe_* or the red +wather in my stomach, I'll try it. I drank bog-bine last night goin' to +bed, but divil a morsel o' good it did me.” + + * Lhin-roe, or red water--the Irish name for heart-burn. + +M'Clutchy handed him a full glass, which he held steadily before his +eye, till the other put up the decanter. + +“Your honor's health, sir,” said he, “and fireside; and if you war to +throw me out o' fifty windies, I'll add to that--here's wishin' that the +divil had his own, and I know where you'd soon be.” + +“How, you villainous scoundrel,” said Val, starting with rising wrath, +“what do you mean by that?” + +Darby made no reply, but hastily tossing off the glass, he seized his +hat, bolted outside the door, and putting in his head, said in a kind of +loud but confidential whisper-- + +“IN HICKMAN'S PLACE, your honor!” + + + + +CHAPTER III.--Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney + +--Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney--His Office--Family +Devotions--Substitute for Breakfast--Misprision Blasphemy--Letter on +Business. + + +Pass we now to another worthy character, who had locality upon the +aforesaid property of Castle Cumber. Solomon M'Slime, the law agent, was +a satisfactory proof of the ease with which religion and law may meet +and aid each other in the heart and spirit of the same person. An +attorney, no doubt, is at all times an amiable, honest, and feeling +individual, simply upon professional principles; but when to all this is +added the benignant influence of serious and decided piety, it would not +be an easy task to find, among the several classes which compose society +in general, anything so truly engaging, so morally taintless, so sweetly +sanctimonious, so seductively comely, as is that pure and evengelical +exhibition of human character, that is found to be developed in a +religious attorney. + +Solomon M'Slime was a man in whose heart the two principles kept their +constant residence; indeed so beautifully were they blended, that his +law might frequently be mistaken for religion, just as his religion, +on the other hand, was often known to smack strongly of law. In this +excellent man, these principles accommodated each with a benignant +indulgence, that manifested the beauty of holiness in a high degree. +If, for instance, law in its progress presented to him any obstacle of +doubtful morality, religion came forward with a sweet but serious smile, +and said to her companion, “My dear friend, or sister, in this case I +permit you.” And on the contrary, if religion felt over sensitive or +scrupulous, law had fifty arguments of safety, and precedent, and +high authority to justify her. But, indeed, we may observe, that in +a religious attorney these illiberal scruples do not often occur. +Mr. M'Slime knew the advantages of religion too well, to feel that +contraction of the mind and principles, which in so many ordinary cases +occasions religion and common morality to become almost identical. +Religion was to him a friend--a patroness in whose graces he stood so +high, that she permitted him to do many things which those who were more +estranged from her durst not attempt. He enjoyed that state of blessed +freedom which is accorded to so few, and, consequently, had his +“permissions” and his “privileges” to go in the wicked wayfares of this +trying world much greater lengths than those, who were less gifted +and favored by the sweet and consoling principle which regulated and +beautified his life. + +Solomon was a small man, thin, sharp-featured, and solemn. He was +deliberate in his manner and movements, and correct but slow of speech. +Though solemn, however, he was not at all severe or querulous, as is too +frequently the case with those who affect to be religious. Far from it. +On the contrary, in him the gospel gifts appeared in a cheerful gravity +of disposition, and a good-humored lubricity of temper, that could turn +with equal flexibility and suavity to every incident of life, no matter +how trying to the erring heart. All the hinges of his spirit seemed to +have been graciously and abundantly oiled, and such was his serenity, +that it was quite evident he had a light within him. It was truly a +pleasure to speak to, or transact business with such a man; he seemed +always so full of inward peace, and comfort, and happiness. Nay, upon +some occasions, he could rise to a kind of sanctified facetiousness +that was perfectly delightful, and in the very singleness of his heart, +would, of an odd time, let out, easily and gently it is true, a small +joke, that savored a good deal of secular humor. + +Then he was so full of charity and affection for all that were frail and +erring among our kind, that he never, or seldom, breathed a harsh word +against the offender. Or if, in the fulness of his benevolence, he found +it necessary to enumerate their faults, and place them, as it were, in +a catalogue, it was done in a spirit of such love, mingled with sorrow, +that those to whom he addressed himself, often thought it a pity that he +himself did not honor religion, by becoming the offender, simply for the +sake of afterwards becoming the patient. + +In the religious world he was a very active and prominent man--punctual +in his devotional exercises, and always on the lookout for some of those +unfortunate brands with which society abounds, that he might, as he +termed it, have the pleasure of plucking them out of the burning. He +never went without a Bible and a variety of tracts in his pocket, and +seldom was missed from the platform of a religious meeting. He received +subscriptions for all public and private charities, and has repeatedly +been known to offer and afford consolation to the widow and orphan, at +a time when the pressure of business rendered the act truly one of +Christian interest and affection. + +The hour was not more than ten o'clock, a.m. when Darby entered his +office, in which, by the way, lay three or four Bibles, in different +places. In a recess on one side of the chimney-piece, stood a +glass-covered bookcase, filled with the usual works on his profession, +whilst hung upon the walls, and consequently nearer observation, +were two or three pensile shelves, on which were to be found a small +collection of religious volumes, tracts, and other productions, all +bearing on the same subject. On the desk was a well-thumbed Bible to the +right, which was that used at family prayer; and on the opposite side, a +religious almanack and a copy of congregation hymns. + +Darby, on reaching the hall door, knocked with considerable more +decision than he had done at M'Clutchy's, but without appearing to have +made himself heard; after waiting patiently for some time, however, +he knocked again, and at length the door was opened by a very pretty +servant girl, about seventeen, who, upon his inquiring if her master +was at home, replied in a sighing voice, and with a demure face, “Oh, +yes--at family prayer.” + +“When he's done,” said Darby, “maybe you'd be kind enough to say that +Darby O'Drive has a message for him.” + +The pretty servant did not nod--an act--which she considered as too +flippant for the solemnity of devotion--but she gently bowed her head, +and closed her eyes in assent--upon which was heard a somewhat cheerful +groan, replete with true unction, inside the parlor, followed by a voice +that said, “ah, Susannah!” pronounced in a tone of grave but placid +remonstrance; Susannah immediately entered, and the voice, which +was that of our attorney, proceeded--“Susannah take your place--long +measure, eight lines, four eights, and two sixes.” The psalm was then +raised or pitched by Solomon himself, who was followed by six or +eight others, each in a different key, but all with such reluctance +to approach their leader, that from a principle of unworthiness, they +allowed him, as the more pious, to get far in advance of them. In this +manner they sang two verses, and it was remarkable, that although on +coming to the conclusion, Solomon was far ahead, and the rest nowhere, +yet, from the same principle of unworthiness, they left the finish, as +they did the start, altogether to himself. The psalm was accordingly +wound up by a kind of understanding or accompaniment between his mouth +and nose, which seemed each moved by a zealous but godly struggle to +excel the other, if not in melody at least in loudness. They then +all knelt down, and Solomon launched, with a sonorous voice, into +an extempore prayer, which was accompanied by a solemn commentary of +groanings, sighings, moanings, and muffled ejaculations, that cannot +otherwise be described except by saying that they resembled something +between a screech and a scream. Their devotions being over, Darby, +having delivered M'Clutchy's letter, was desired to take a seat in the +office, until Mr. M'Slime should be at leisure to send a reply. + +“Sit down, my good friend, Darby, sit down, and be at ease, at least in +your body; I do not suffer any one who has an immortal soul to be saved +to stand in my office--and as you have one to be saved, Darby, you must +sit. The pride of this vain life is our besetting sin, and happy are +they who are enabled to overcome it--may he be praised!--sit down.” + +“I'm thankful to you, sir,” said Darby, “oh, thin, Mr. M'Slime, it would +be well for the world if every attorney in it was like you, sir--there +would be little honesty goin' asthray, sir, if there was.” + +“Sam Sharpe, my dear boy, if you have not that bill of costs finished--” + +“No sir.” + +“A good boy, Sam--well, do not omit thirteen and four pence for +two letters, which I ought to have sent--as a part of my moral, +independently of my professional duty--to Widow Lenehan, having +explained to her by word of mouth, that which I ought in conscience, +to have written--but indeed my conscience often leads me to the--what +should I say?--the merciful side in these matters. No, Darby, my friend, +you cannot see into my heart, or you would not say so--I am frail, +Darby, and sinful--I am not up to the standard, my friend, neither have +I acted up to my privileges--the freedom of the gospel! is a blessed +thing, provided we abuse it not'--well, Sam, my good young friend--” + +“That was entered before, sir, under the head of instructions.” + +“Very right--apparently very right, Sam, and reasonable for you to think +so--but this was on a different occasion, although the same case.” + +“Oh, I beg pardon, sir, I did not know that.” + +“Sam, do not beg pardon--not of me--nor of any but One--go there, Sam, +you require it; we all require it, at least I do abundantly. Darby, +my friend, it is a principle with me never to lose an opportunity of +throwing in a word in season--but as the affairs of this life must be +attended to--only in a secondary degree, I admit--I will, therefore, +place you at the only true fountain where you can be properly refreshed. +Take this Bible, Darby, and it matters not where you open it, read and +be filled.” + +Now, as Darby, in consequence of his early attendance upon M'Clutchy, +had been obliged to leave home that morning without his breakfast, +it must be admitted that he was not just then in the best possible +disposition to draw much edification from it. After poring over it +with a very sombre face for some time, he at length looked shrewdly +at M'Slime closing one eye a little, as was his custom; “I beg pardon, +sir,” said he, “but if I'm not mistaken this book I believe is intended +more for the sowl than the body.” + +“For the body! truly, Darby, that last is a carnal thought, and I am +sorry to hear, it from your lips:--the Bible is a spiritual book, my +friend, and spiritually must it be received.” + +“But, to a man like me, who hasn't had his breakfast to-day yet, how +will it be sarviceable? will reading it keep off hunger or fill my +stomach?” + +“Ah! Darby, my friend, that is gross talk--such views of divine truth +are really a perversion of the gifts of heaven. That book although it +will not fill your stomach, as you grossly call it, actually will do it +figuratively, which in point of fact is the same thing, or a greater--it +will enable you to bear hunger as a dispensation, Darby, to which it is +your duty as a Christian to submit. Nay, it will do more, my friend; it +will exalt your faith to such a divine pitch, that if you read it with +the proper spirit, you will pray that the dispensation thus laid on you +may continue, in order that the inner man may be purged.” + +“Faith, and Mr. M'Slime, with great respect, if that is your doctrine +it isn't your practice. The sorra word of prayer--God bless the +prayers!--came out o' your lips today, an til you laid in a good warm +breakfast, and afther that, for fraid of disappointments, the very first +thing you prayed for was your daily bread--didn't I hear you? But I'll +tell you what, sir, ordher me my breakfast, and then I'll be spakin' to +you. A hungry man--or a hungry woman, or her hungry childre' can't eat +Bibles; although it is well known, God knows, that when hunger, and +famine, and starvation are widin them and upon them, that the same +Bible, but nothing else, is; handed to them by pious people in the shape +of consolation and relief. Now I'm thinkin', Mr. M'Slime, that that is +not the best way to make the Bible respected. Are you goin' to give me +my breakfast, sir? upon my sowl, beggin' your pardon, if you do I'll +bring the Bible home wid me, if that will satisfy you, for we haven't +got e'er a one in our own little cabin.” + +“Sharpe, my good boy, I'll trouble you to take that Bible out of his +hands. I am not in the slightest degree offended, Darby--you will yet, +I trust, live to know better, may He grant it! I overlook the misprision +of blasphemy on your part, for you didn't know what you said? but you +will, you will. + +“This is a short reply to Mr. M'Clutchy's note. I shall see him on my +way to the sessions to-morrow, but I have told him so in it. And now, +my friend, be assured I overlook the ungodly and carnal tenor of your +conversation--we are all frail and prone to error; I, at least, am +so--still we must part as Christians ought, Darby. You have asked me +for a breakfast, but I overlook that also--I ought to overlook it as +a Christian; for is not your immortal soul of infinitely greater value +than your perishable body? Undoubtedly--and as a proof that I value it +more, receive this--this, my brother sinner--oh! that I could say my +brother Christian also--receive it, Darby, and in the proper spirit too; +it is a tract written by the Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug, entitled 'Spiritual +Food for Babes of Grace;' I have myself found it graciously consolatory +and refreshing, and I hope that you also may, my friend.” + +“Begad, sir,” said Darby, “it may be very good in its way, and I've +no doubt but it's a very generous and Christian act in you to give +it--espishilly since it cost you nothing--but for all that, upon my +sowl, I'm strongly of opinion that to a hungry man it's a bad substitute +for a breakfast.” + +“Ah! by the way, Darby,” lending a deaf ear to this observation, “have +you heard, within the last day or two, anything of Mr. M'Clutchy's +father, Mr. Deaker--how he is?” + +“Why, sir,” replied Darby, “I'm tould he's breaking down fast, but the +divil a one of him will give up the lady. Parsons, and ministers, and +even priests, have all been at him; but it is useless: he curses +and damns them right and left, and won't be attended by any one but +her--hadn't you betther try him, Mr. M'Slime? May be you might succeed. +Who knows but a little of the 'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace' +might sarve him as well as others. There's a case for you. Sure he +acknowledges himself to be a member of the hell-fire club!” + +“He's a reprobate, my friend--impenitent, hopeless. I have myself tried +him, spoke with him, reasoned with him, but never was my humility, +my patience, so strongly tried. His language I will not repeat--but +canting knave, hypocrite, rascal attor--no, it is useless and unedifying +to repeat it. Now go, my friend, and do not forget that precious tract +which you have thrust so disrespectfully into your pocket.” + +Darby, after a shrewd wink at one of the apprentices, which was +returned, passed out, and left Mr. M'Slime to the pursuit of his +salvation. + +In the mean time, as we authors have peculiar “privileges,” as Mr. +M'Slime would say, we think if only due to our readers to let them have +a peep at M'Slime's note to our friend Valentine M'Clutchy. + +“My dear friend--I felt as deep an interest in the purport of your note +as you yourself possibly could. The parties alluded to I appreciate +precisely as you do--M'Loughlin has in the most unchristian manner +assailed my character as well as yours. So has his partner in the +concern--I mean Harman. But then, my friend, are we not Christians, +and shall we not return good for evil? Shall we not forgive them? Some +whispers, hints, very gentle and delicate have reached my ears, which +I do not wish to commit to paper;--but this I may say, until I see you +to-morrow, that I think your intentions with respect to M'Loughlin and +Harman are premature. There is a screw loose somewhere, so to speak, +that is all--but I believe, I can say, that if your father, Deaker, +will act to our purposes, all will be as we could wish. This is a +delicate subject, my dear friend, but still I am of opinion that if +you could, by any practicable means; soften the unfortunate female +who possesses such an ascendancy over him, all will be right. I would, +myself, undertake the perilous task for your sake--and perilous to +ordinary men I admit it would be, for she is beyond question exceedingly +comely. In me this would appear disinterested, whilst in you, suspicion +would become strong. Cash is wanted in the quarter you know, and cash +has been refused in another quarter, and when we meet I shall tell you +more about this matter. In the mean time it is well that there is no +legitimate issue--but should he will his property to this Delilah, or +could she be removed?--I mean to a local distance. But I shall see you +to-morrow (D.V.), when we can have freer conversation upon what may be +done. With humble but sincere prayers for your best wishes and welfare, +I am, my dear friend, + +“Thine in the bonds of Christian love, + +“Solomon M'Slime. + +“P. S.--As it is a principle of mine to neglect no just opportunity of +improving my deceitful heart, I bought from a travelling pedlar this +morning, a book with the remarkable title of 'The Spiritual Attorney, +or A Sure Guide to the Other World.' I have not yet had time to look at +anything but the title page, and consequently am not able to inform you +which of the worlds he alludes to, ha, ha! You see, my friend, I do not +think there is evil in a joke that is harmless, or has a moral end in +view, as every joke ought to have. + +“Thine as before, + +“Sol. M'Slime.” + + + + +CHAPTER IV.--Poll Doolin, the Child Cadger + +--Raymond, her Son--Short Dialogue on the Times--Polls Opinion on +the Causes of Immorality--Solomon is Generous--A Squire of the Old +School--And a Moral Dialogue. + + +The next morning was that on which the Quarter Sessions of Castle Cumber +commenced; and of course it was necessary for Darby O'Drive, who was +always full of business on such occasions, to see M'Clutchy, in order +to receive instructions touching his duties on various proceedings +connected with the estate. He had reached the crossroads that ran about +half-way between Constitution Cottage and Castle Cumber, when! he met, +just where the road turned to M'Clutchy's, a woman named Poll Doolin, +accompanied, as she mostly was, by her son--a poor, harmless, idiot, +named Raymond; both of whom were well known throughout the whole parish. +Poll was a thin, sallow woman, with piercing dark eyes, and a very; +gipsy-like countenance. Her dress was always black, and very much worn; +in fact, everything about her was black--black stockings, black bonnet, +black hair, and black kerchief. Poll's occupation was indeed a singular +one, and not very creditable to the morals of the day. Her means of +living were derived from the employment of child-cadger to the Foundling +Hospital of Dublin. In other words, she lived by conveying illegitimate +children from the places of their birth to the establishment just +mentioned, which has been very properly termed a bounty for national +immorality. Whenever a birth of this kind occurred, Poll was immediately +sent for--received her little charge with a name--whether true or false +mattered not--pinned to its dress--then her traveling expenses; after +which she delivered it at the hospital, got a receipt for its delivery, +and returned to claim her demand, which was paid only on her producing +it. In the mean time, the unfortunate infant had to encounter all the +comforts of the establishment, until it was drafted out to a charter +school, in which hot-bed of pollution it received that exquisitely +moral education that enabled it to be sent out into society admirably +qualified to sustain the high character of Protestantism. + +“Morrow, Poll,” said Darby; “what's the youngest news wid you? And +Raymond, my boy, how goes it wid you?” + +“I don't care for you,” replied the fool; “you drove away Widow +Branagan's cow, an' left the childre to the black wather. Bad luck to +you!” + +Darby started; for there is a superstition among the Irish, that the +curse of an “innocent” is one of the most unlucky that can be uttered. + +“Don't curse me,” replied Darby; “sure, Raymond, I did only my duty.” + +“Then who made you do your duty?” asked the other. + +“Why, Val the Vul--hem--Mr. M'Clutchy, to be sure.” + +“Bad luck to him then!” + +His mother, who had been walking a little before him, turned, and, +rushing towards him, put her hand hastily towards his mouth, with the +obvious intention of suppressing the imprecation; but too late; it had +escaped, and be the consequence what it might, Val had got the exciting +cause of it. + +“My poor unfortunate boy,” said she, “you oughtn't to curse anybody; +stop this minute, and say God bless him.” + +“God bless who?” + +“Mr. McClutchy.” + +“The devil bless him! ha, ha, ha! Doesn't he harry the poor, an' drive +away their cows from them--doesn't he rack them an' rob them--harry +them, rack them, rob them-- + + “Harry them, rack them, rob them, + Rob them, rack them, harry them-- + Harry them, rack them, rob them, + Rob them, rack them, harry them.” + +This he sung in an air somewhat like “Judy Callahan.” + +“Ha, ha, ha! Oh the devil bless him! and they say a blessin' from the +devil is very like a curse from God.” + +The mother once more put up her hands to his face, but only with the +intention of fondling and caressing him. She tenderly stroked down his +head, and patted his cheek, and attempted to win him out of the evil +humor into which the sight of Darby had thrown him. Darby could observe, +however, that she appeared to be deeply troubled by the idiot's conduct, +as was evident by the trembling of her hands, and a perturbation of +manner which she could not conceal. + +“Raymond,” she said, soothingly, “won't you be good for me, darlin'--for +your own mother, my poor helpless boy? Won't you be good for me?” + +“I will,” said he, in a more placid voice. + +“And you will not curse anybody any more?” + +“No, mother, no.” + +“And won't you bless Mr. M'Clutchy, my dear child?” + +“There's a fig for him,” he replied--there's a fig for him. Now!” + +“But you didn't bless him, my darlin'--you didn't bless him yet.” + +As she spoke the words, her eye caught! his, and she perceived that it +began to gleam and kindle. + +“Well no,” said she hastily; “no, I won't ask you; only hould your +tongue--say no more.” + +She again patted his cheek tenderly, and the fiery light which began to +burn in his eye, died gradually away, and no other expression remained +in it but the habitual one of innocence and good-nature. + +“No, no,” said she, shaking her head, and speaking as much to herself as +to Darby; “I know him too well; no earthly power will put him out of +his own way, once he takes it into his head. This minute, if I had +spoke another word about the blessin', Mr. M'Clutchy would a got +another curse; yet, except in these fits, my poor child is kindness and +tendheress itself.” + +“Well now,” said Darby, “that that's over, can you tell me, Poll, what's +the news? When were you in Dublin?” + +“I've given that up,” replied Poll; “I'm too ould and stiff for it now. +As for the news, you ought to know what's goin' as well as I do. You're +nearly as much on the foot.” + +“No; nor if every head in the parish was 'ithin side o'mine, I wouldn't +know as much in the news line as you, Poll.” + +“The news that's goin' of late, Darby, is not good, an' you know it. +There's great grumlin' an' great complaints, ever since. Val, the lad, +became undher agent; and you know that too.” + +“But how can I prevent that?” said Darby; “sure I'd side wid the people +if I could.” + +“You'd side wid the people, an' you'd side wid the man that oppresses +them, even in spite of Mr. Hickman.” + +“God bless Mr. Hickman!” said Raymond, “and the divil curse him! and +sure 'tis well known that the divil's curse is only another name for +God's blessin'. God bless, Mr. Hickman!” + +“Amen, my darlin' child, wid all my heart,” said Poll; “but, Darby,” she +continued, “take my word for it, that these things won't end well. The +estate and neighborhood was peaceable and quiet till the Vulture began +his pranks, and now----” + +“Very well,” said Darby, “the blame be his, an' if it comes to that, the +punishment; so far as myself's consarned, I say, let every herrin' hang +by its own tail--I must do my duty. But tell me, Poll--hut, woman, never +mind the Vulture--let him go to the devil his own way--tell me do you +ever hear from your son Frank, that Brian M'Loughlin sent acrass?” + +“No,” said she, “not a word; but the curse o' heaven on Brian +M'Loughlin! Was my fine young man worth no more than his garran of +a horse, that he didn't steal either, till he was put to it by the +Finigans.” + +“Well, sure two o' them were sent over soon afther him, if that's any +comfort.” + +“It's no comfort,” replied Poll, “but I'll tell you what's a comfort, +the thought that I'll never die till I have full revenge on Brian +M'Loughlin--ay, either on him or his--or both. Come, Raymond, have you +ne'er a spare curse now for Brian M'Loughlin?--you could give a fat one +to M'Clutchy this minute and have you none for Brian M'Loughlin?” + +“No,” replied, the son, “he doesn't be harryin' the poor.” + +“Well, but he transported your brother. + +“No matter; Frank used to beat me--he was bad, an Brian M'Loughlin was +good to me, and does be good to me; he gives me my dinner or breakfast +whenever I go there--an' a good bed in the barn. I won't curse him. +Now!” + +“It's no use,” continued Poll, whose thin features had not yet subsided +from the inflammatory wildness of expression which had been awakened by +the curse, “it's no use, he'll only do what he likes himself, an' the +best way is to never heed him.” + +“I believe so,” said Darby, “but where's your daughter Lucy now, Poll?” + +“Why,” said Poll, “she has taken to my trade, an' thravels up to the +Foundling; although, dear knows, it's hardly worth her while now--it +won't give her salt to her kale, poor girl.” + +“Why, are the times mendin'?” asked Darby, who spoke in a moral point of +view. + +“Mendin'!” exclaimed Poll, “oh, ay indeed--Troth they're not fit to be +named in the one day with what they used to be. But indeed, of late +I'm happy to say that they are improvin' a bit,” said she, speaking +professionally. “M'Clutchy's givin' them a lift, for I've ever an' +always remarked, that distress, and poverty, and neglect o' the poor, +and hardship, and persecution, an' oppression, and anything that way, +was sure to have my very heart broke wid business.” + +“And tell me, Poll, did you ever happen to get a job from a sartin pious +gentleman, o' the name of M'Slime?--now tell the truth.” + +“It's a question,” replied Poll, “you have no right to axe--you must +know, Darby O'Drive, that I've had my private business, as well as +my public business, an' that I'd suffer that right hand to be cut off +sooner than betray trust. Honor bright, or what's the world good for!” + +They now reached a spot where the road branched into two, but Poll still +kept to that which led to M'Clutchy's. “Are you for the Cottage too,” + asked Darby. + +“I am,” replied Poll, “I've been sent for; but what he wants wid me, I +know no more than the man in the moon.” + +Just then the tramp of a horse's feet was heard behind' them, and in a +minute or two, Solomon M'Slime, who was also on his way to the Cottage, +rode up to them. + +“A kind good morning to you Darby, my friend! I trust you did not +neglect to avail yourself of the--Ah!” said he complacently on catching +a glimpse of Poll's face, “I think I ought to recollect your features, +my good woman--but, no--I can't say I do--No, I must mistake them for +those of another--but, indeed, the best of us is liable to mistake and +error--all frail--flesh is grass.” + +“You might often see my face,” returned Poll, “but I don't think ever we +spoke before. I know you to look at you, sir, that's all--an' it's thrue +what you say too, sir, there's nothing but frailty in the world--divil a +much else--howsomever, be that as is may, honor bright's my motive.” + +“And a good motto it is, my excellent woman--is that interesting young +man your son?” + +“He is, sir; but he's a poor innocent that, hasn't the full complement +of wit, sir, God help him!” + +“Well, my good woman,” continued Solomon, “as he appears to be without +shoes to his feet, will you accept of five shillings, which is all the +silver I have about me, to buy him a pair.” + +“Many thanks, Mr. M'Sl--hem--many thanks, sir; honor bright's my +motive.” + +“And let it always be so, my excellent, woman; a good morning to you +very kindly! Darby, I bid you also good morning, and peace be with you +both.” + +So saying, he rode on at a quiet, easy amble, apparently at peace with +his heart, his conscience, his sleek cob, and all the world besides. + +The sessions of Castle Cumber having concluded as sessions usually +conclude, we beg our reader to accompany us to Deaker Hall the residence +of M'Clutchy's father, the squire. This man was far advanced in years, +but appeared to have been possessed of a constitution which sustains +sensuality, or perhaps that retrospective spirit which gloats over its +polluted recollections, on the very verge of the grave. In the case +before us, old age sharpened the inclination to vice in proportion as +it diminished the power of being vicious, and presented an instance of a +man, at the close of a long life, watching over the grave of a corrupted +heart, with a hope of meeting the wan spectres of his own departed +passions, since he could not meet the passions themselves; and he met +them, for they could not rest, but returned to their former habitation, +like unclean spirits as they were, each bringing seven more along with +it, but not to torment him. Such were the beings with which the soul of +this aged materialist was crowded. During life his well known motto was, +“let us eat, and drink and be merry, for to-morrow we die.” Upon this +principle, expanded into still wider depravity, did he live and act +during a protracted existence, and to those who knew him, and well known +he was, there appeared something frightfully revolting in the shameless +career of this impenitent old infidel. + +Deaker was a large man, with a rainbow protuberance before, whose chin, +at the time we speak of, rested upon his breast, giving to him the exact +character which he bore--that of a man who to the last was studious +of every sensual opportunity. His gray, goatish eye, was vigilant and. +circumspect, and his under lip protruded in a manner, which, joined to +the character of his age, left no one at a loss for the general subject +matter of his thoughts. He always wore top boots, and generally went on +horseback, having that part of his hat which rested on the collar of his +coat, turned up and greasy. + +Squire Deaker's language was not more moral than his life--for he not +only enforced his principles by his example, but also by his precept. +His conversation consequently resolved itself into a mingled stream of +swearing and obscenity. Ridicule of religion, and a hardened triumph in +his own iniquitous exploits, illustrated and confirmed by a prodigality +of blasphemous asservations, constituted the staple of his thoughts and +expressions. According to his own principles he could not look forward +to another life, and consequently all that remained for him was to look +back upon an unbroken line of seduction and profligacy--upon wealth and +influence not merely abused, but prostituted to the lowest and +grossest purposes of our worst passions--upon systematic crime--unmanly +treachery--and that dishonest avarice which constituted the act of +heartless desertion in himself the ultimate ruin and degradation of +his victims. Such was this well known squire of the old school, whose +portrait, taken from life, will be recognized by every one who ever knew +him, should any such happen to peruse these pages. + +At the period of which we write Squire Deaker was near eighty, and +although feeble and broken down, he still exhibited the remains of a +large, coarse, strong-boned animal, not without a vigorous twinkle of +low cunning in his eye, and a duplicity of character and principle about +his angular and ill-shaped eye-brows which could not be mistaken. He +was confined to his bed, and for the first time during many years, was +unable to attend the Castle Cumber quarter sessions. + +It was the second or third day after their close that about the hour of +ten o'clock, a.m., he awoke from a heavy and unhealthy doze, which could +scarcely be termed sleep, but rather a kind of middle state between that +and waking. At length he raised his head, gasped, and on finding no one +in the room, he let fly a volley of execrations, and rang the bell. + +“Is there any one there? Any one within hearing? I say Isabel, Isabel, +jezabel, are you all dead and d----d?” + +“No, your honor, not yet--some of us at least,” replied a shrewd-looking +lad of about eighteen, nicking his appearance. + +“Ha, Lanty--it's you, is it? What do you mean by that, you devil's +pick-tooth? Where's Isabel? Where's Jezabel? Playing her pranks, I +suppose--where is she, you devil's tooth-brush? eh?” + +“Do you want your brandy and wather, sir?” + +“Brandy and h--l, you scoundrel! Where's Miss Puzzle?” + +“Why, she's just rinsing her mouth, sir, wid a drop of “-- + +“Of what, you devil's imp; but I know--she's drinking--she's drunk, you +young candidate for perdition?” + +“I'm not an ould one, sir, any how; as to Miss Fuzzle, sir, she bid me +say, that she's doin' herself the pleasure of drinkin' your health”-- + +“Ha, ha, ha! Oh, if I were near her--that's all! drinking my health! +She's tipsy, the she scoundrel, she never sends me that message unless +when she's tipsy”-- + +“Not tipsy, your honor, only unwell--she's a little touched wid the +falling sickness--she always takes it after rinsing her mouth, sir; for +she's fond of a sweet breath, your honor.” + +“Ah, she's a confounded blackguard--a living quicksand, and nothing +else. Lanty, my lad, if the Mississippi was brandy grog, she'd dry the +river--drinking at this hour!--well, never mind, I was drunk myself last +night, and I'm half drunk yet. Here, you devil's tinder box, mix me a +glass of brandy and water.” + +“Wouldn't you do it better yourself, sir?” + +“No, you whelp, don't you see how my hands, and be hanged to them, +tremble and shake. Put in another glass, I say--carry it to my mouth +now; hold, you croil--here's the glorious, pious, and immortal memory! +Ho! Lanty, there's nothing like being a good Protestant after all--so +I'll stand to glorious Bill, to the last; nine times nine, and one cheer +more! hurra!” + +He then laid himself back, and attempted to whistle the Boyne Water, +but having only one tusk in front, the sound produced resembled the wild +whistle of the wind through the chink of a door--shrill and monotonous; +after which he burst out into a chuckling laugh, tickled, probably, at +the notion of that celebrated melody proving disloyal in spite of him, +as refusing, as it were, to be whistled. + +At this moment Miss Isabel, or as he most frequently called her Miss +Jezabel Puzzle, came in with a gleaming eye and an unsteady step--her +hair partially dishevelled, and her dress most negligently put on. The +moment Deaker saw her, his whole manner changed, notwithstanding his +previous violence--the swagger departed from him, his countenance fell, +and he lay mute and terror-stricken before her. It was indeed clear that +her sway over him was boundless, and such was the fact. On this occasion +she simply looked at him significantly, held up her hand in a menacing +attitude, and having made a mock curtesy, immediately left the room. + +“Lanty,” said he in an undertone, when she had gone, “Lanty, you clip, +go and tell her to forgive me; I said too much, and I'm sorry for it, +say--go you scoundrel.” + +“Faix I'll do no such thing, sir,” replied Lanty, alarmed at the nature +of the message; “I know better than to come across her now; she'd whale +the life out o' me. Sure she's afther flailing the cook out o' the +kitchen--and Tom Corbet the butler has one of his ears, he says, hangin' +off him as long as a blood-hound's.” + +“Speak easy,” said Doaker, in a voice of terror, “speak lower, or she +may hear you--Isn't it strange,” he said to himself, “that I who never +feared God or man, should quail before this Jezabel!” + +“Begad, an' here's one, your honor, that'll make her quail, if he meets +her.” + +“Who is it,” asked the other eagerly, “who is it you imp?” + +“Why, Mr. M'Clutchy, sir; he's ridin' up the avenue.” + +“Ay, Val the Vulture--Val the Vulture--I like that fellow--like him for +his confoundedly clever roguery; only he's a hypocrite, and doesn't set +the world at defiance as I do;--no, he's a cowardly, skulking hypocrite, +nearly as great a one as M'Slime, but doesn't talk so much about +religion as that oily gentleman.” + +In a few moments M'Clutchy entered. “Good morrow, Val. Well, Val--well, +my Vulture, what's in the wind now? Who's to suffer? Are you ready for a +pounce? Eh?” + +“I was sorry to hear that your health's not so good, sir, as it was.” + +“You lie, my dear Vulture, you lie in your throat, I tell you. You're +watching for my carcase, snuffing the air at a distance under the hope +of a gorge. No--you didn't care the devil had me, provided you could +make a haul by it.” + +“I hope sir, there's no----” + +“Hope! You rascally hypocrite, what's hope good for? Hope to rot in the +grave is it? To melt into corruption and feed the worms? What a precious +putrid carcase I'll make, when I'm a month in the dirt. Maybe you +wouldn't much relish the scent of me then, my worthy Vulture. Curse your +beak, at all events! what do you want? what did you come for?” + +Val, who knew his worthy sire well, knew also the most successful method +of working out any purpose with him. He accordingly replied, conscious +that hypocrisy was out of the question-- + +“The fact is, sir, I want you to aid me in a piece of knavery.” + +“I'll do it--I'll do it. Hang me if I don't. Come--I like that--it +shows that there's no mock modesty between us--that we know one another. +What's the knavery?” + +“Why, sir, I'm anxious, in the first place, to have Hickman, the head +agent, out, and in the next, to get into his place, if possible. Now, I +know that you can assist me in both, if you wish.” + +“How?” asked Deaker, who was quite as able a tactician as his son; and +who, in fact, had contrived to put himself so completely! in possession +of the political influence of the county as to be able to return any one +he wished. “How is it to be done? Tell me that?” + +“I have understood from George Gamble, Lord Cumber's own man, that he +wants money.” + +“Tut,” replied Deaker, who now forgot a great deal of his swearing, and +applied himself to the subject, with all the coolness and ability of a +thorough man of business. + +“Tut, Val, is that your news? When was he ever otherwise? Come to the +point; the thing's desirable--but how can it be done?” + +“I think it can; but it must be by very nice handling indeed.” + +“Well--your nice handling then?” + +“The truth is, that Hickman, I suspect, is almost sick of the +agency--thanks to Lord Cumber's extravagance, and an occasional bit of +blister which I, through the tenantry, lay on him at home. Cumber, you +know, is an unsteady scoundrel, and in the ordinary I transactions of +life, has no fixed principle, for he is possessed of little honor, and I +am afraid not much honesty.” + +“Oh murder! this from Val the Vulture! Let me look at you! Did M'Slime +bite you? or have you turned Methodist? Holy Jupiter, what a sermon! +Curse your beak, sir; go on, and no preaching.” + +“Not much honesty as I said. Now, sir, if you, who have him doubly in +your power--first, by the mortgage; and, secondly, as his political +godfather, who can either put him in, or keep him out of the country--if +you were to write him a friendly, confidential letter, in which, +observe, you are about to finally arrange your affairs; and you are +sorry--quite sorry--but the truth is, something must be done about the +mortgage--you are very sorry--mark--but you are old, and cannot leave +your property in an unsettled state. Just touch that part of it so--” + +“Yes--touch and go.” + +“Exactly--touch and go. Well, you pass then to the political portion +of it. Hickman's political opinions are not well known, or at least +doubtful. Indeed you have reason to believe that he will not support +his lordship or his family--is not in the confidence of +government--displeased at the Union--and grumbles about corruption. +His lordship is abroad you know, and cannot think for himself. You speak +as his friend--his tried friend--he ought to have a man on his property +who is staunch, can be depended on, and who will see that full justice +is done him in his absence. Hickman, too, is against Ascendancy +principles. Do you see, sir?” + +“Proceed--what next?” + +“Why, we stop there for the present; nothing more can be done until we +hear from the scoundrel himself.” + +“And what do you imagine will be the upshot?” + +“Why, I think it not at all unlikely that he will place himself and +his interests, pecuniary and political, altogether in your hands, and +consequently you will probably have the guiding of him.” + +“Well, Val, you are an able knave to be sure; but never mind; I like you +all the better. The true doctrine is always--eat, drink, and be merry, +for to-morrow you die,--take as much out of life and your fellow-men as +you can. There's no knavery in the grave, my Vulture. There the honest +man and the knave are alike; and this being the case, what the devil is +public opinion worth?” + +“It's worth a great deal if we use it for our own purposes while we're +here; otherwise I agree with you that it's valueless in itself.” + +“You're a cursed clever fellow, Val, an able knave, as I said--but I +don't like your son; he's a dishonest blockhead, and I needn't tell +you that the man who has not brains enough to be dishonest is a most +contemptible scoundrel.” + +“Are you not able to get up?” asked Val, in a very dutiful and +affectionate voice. + +“Able enough now, but my head swam a while ago at a deuced rate. I +was drunk, as usual, last night, and could do nothing, not even put a +tumbler to my mouth, until I took a stiff glass of brandy and water, +and that has set me up again. When shall I write to young Topertoe, the +Cumber blade?” + +“The sooner the better, now; but I think you ought to rise and take some +exercise.” + +“So I shall, immediately, and to-morrow I write then, according to your +able instructions, most subtle and sagacious Val. Are you off?” + +“Yes, good-bye, sir, and many thanks.” + +“None of your stuff I say, but be off out of this--” and as he spoke Val +disappeared. + +So far the first steps for ousting Mr. Hickman were taken by this +precious father and his equally valuable son. Val, however, entertained +other speculations quite as ingenious, and far more malignant in +their tendency. Hickman, of course, he might, by undercurrents and +manoeuvering, succeed in ejecting from the agency; but he could not +absolutely ruin him. Nothing short of this, however, did he propose to +himself, so far as M'Loughlin, and, we may add, every one connected with +him, was concerned; for M'Clutchy possessed that kind of economy in his +moral feelings, that always prompted him to gratify his interest and his +malice by the same act of virtue. How he succeeded in this benevolent +resolution, time and the progress of this truthful history will show. + + + + +CHAPTER V.--A Mysterious Meeting + +--Description of a Summer Evening--A Jealous Vision--Letter from Squire +Beaker to Lord Cumber--Lord Cumber's Reply. + + +The season was now about the close of May, that delightful month +which presents, the heart and all our purer sensations with a twofold +enjoyment; for in that sweet period have we not all the tenderness and +delicacy of spring, combined with the fuller and more expanded charms +of the leafy summer--like that portion of female life, in which the +eye feels it difficult to determine whether the delicate beauty of +the blushing girl, or the riper loveliness of the full grown maid, +predominates in the person. The time was evening, about half an hour +before that soft repose of twilight, in which may be perceived the +subsiding stir of busy life as it murmurs itself into slumber, after the +active pursuits of day. On a green upland lawn, that was a sheep walk, +some portions of which were studded over with the blooming and fragrant +furze, stood an old ecclesiastical ruin, grey from time, and breathing +with that spirit of vague but dreamy reverie, which it caught from the +loveliness of the season, the calmness and the golden light of the hour, +accessories, that, by their influence, gave a solemn beauty to its very +desolation. It reminded one somewhat of the light which coming death +throws upon the cheek of youth when he treacherously treads in the soft +and noiseless steps of decline--or rather of that still purer light, +which, when the aged Christian arrives at the close of a well spent +life, accompanied by peace, and hope, and calmness, falls like a glory +on his bed of death. The ruin was but small, a remnant of one of those +humble, but rude temples, in which God was worshipped in simplicity and +peace, far from the noisy tumults and sanguinary conflicts of ambitious +man. + +Through this sweet upland, and close to the ruin, ran a footpath that +led to a mountain village of considerable extent. Immediately behind the +ruin stood a few large hawthorn trees, now white with blossoms, whose +fragrance made the very air a luxury, and from whose branches came forth +those gushes of evening melody that shed tenderness and tranquility into +the troubled heart. The country in the distance lay charmed, as it were, +by the calm spirit of peace which seemed to have diffused itself +over the whole landscape--western windows were turned into fire--the +motionless lakes shone like mirrors wherever they caught the beams of +the evening light, as did several bends of the broad river which barely +moved within its winding banks through the meadows below. The sun at +length became half concealed behind the summit of the western hills, so +that his rich and gorgeous beams fell only upon the surrounding uplands, +now lit into purple, leaving the valleys and lower parts of the country +to repose in that beautiful shadow which can be looked upon from the +higher parts, only through the crimson glory of the departing light. +And now the sun has disappeared--is gone--but still how beautiful is +the fading splendor that sleeps for a little on the mountain tops, then +becomes dimmer and dimmer--then a faint streak which gradually melts +away until it is finally lost in the soft shadows of that thoughtful +hour. And even thus passeth away all human glory! The ruin which we have +mentioned stood about half way between the residence of Brian M'Loughlin +and the mountain village to which we have alluded. Proceeding homewards +from the latter place, having performed an errand of mercy and charity, +was a very beautiful girl, exquisitely formed, but somewhat below the +middle size. She was Brian M'Loughlin's only daughter--a creature that +breathed of goodness, grace, and all those delightful qualities that make +woman a ministering angel amidst the cares, and miseries, and sorrows +of life. Her figure, symmetry itself, was so light, and graceful, and +elegant, that a new charm was displayed by every motion, as a new beauty +was discovered by every change of her expressive countenance; her hair +was like the raven's wing, and her black eye, instead of being sharp and +piercing, was more in accordance with the benignity of her character, +soft, sweet, and mellow. Her bust and arm were perfection, and the small +white hand and taper fingers would have told a connoisseur or sculptor, +that her foot, in lightness and elegance of formation, might have +excited, the envy of Iris or Camilla. + +Having reached the ruin, she was surprised to see the figure of a thin +woman, dressed in black, issue out of it, and approach her with somewhat +of caution in her manner. Mary M'Loughlin was a girl of strong mind and +firm character, and not likely to feel alarmed by any groundless cause +of apprehension. She immediately recognized the woman, who was no other +than our old friend Poll Doolin, and in the phrases peculiar to the +country, made the usual kind inquiry after her health and welfare. + +“It's a very unusual thing, Poll,” she proceeded, “to see you in this +part of the neighborhood!” + +“It is,” returned Poll, “I wasn't so near the mountains this many a day; +an' I wouldn't be here now, only on your account. Miss M'Loughlin.” + +Now, Mary was by no means ignorant of the enmity which this woman +entertained against her father and family, in consequence of having +prosecuted and transported her profligate son. Without the slightest +apprehension on that account, she felt, however, a good deal puzzled +as to the meaning which could be attached to Poll's words. “How, on my +account, Poll? I don't understand you.” + +“Neither you nor yours desarve it at my hands; but for all that, I am +here to do you a good tarn.” + +“I hope I never deserved any evil at your! hands, Poll.” + +“No, but you're your father's daughter for all that, an' it's not usual +to hate the tree and spare the branches.” + +“I suppose you allude to the transportation of your son; but remember, +Poll, that I was only a child then; and don't forget that had your son +been honest, he might I still be a comfort and a credit to you, instead +of a shame and a sorrow. I don't I mean, nor do I wish to hurt your +feelings, Poll; but I am anxious that you should not indulge in such +bitterness of heart against my father, who only did what he could not +avoid.” + +“Well,” said Poll, “never mind that--although it isn't aisy for a mother +to forget her child wid all his faults; I am here, as I said, on your +'account--I am here to tell you, that there is danger about you and +before you, and to put you on your guard against it. I am here, Miss +Mary M'Loughlin, and if I'm not your friend--I'm not sayin' that I am +not--still I'm the friend of one that is your friend, and that will +protect you if he can.” + +“That is very strange, Poll, for I know not how I can have an enemy. +What danger could a simple inoffensive girl like me feel? I who have +never knowingly offended anybody.” + +“I have said the truth,” replied Poll, “and did my duty--you're now +warned, so be on your guard and take care of yourself.” + +“But how, Poll? You mention danger, yet have not told me what it is, +where it's to come from, nor how I am to guard myself against it.” + +“I'm not at liberty,” said Poll, “but this I can tell you, it's +threatening you, and it comes from a quarther where you'd never look for +it.” + +Mary, who was neither timid nor surprised, smiled with the confidence of +innocence, and replied, after a short pause of thought-- + +“Well, Poll, I have been thinking over my friends, and cannot find one +that is likely to be my enemy; at all events I am deeply obliged to you, +still if you could mention what the danger is, I would certainly +feel the obligation to be greater. As it is, I thank you again. Good +evening!” + +“Stay, Miss Mary,” replied Poll, walking eagerly a step or two after +her, “stay a minute; I have run a risk in doin' this--only promise me, +to keep what I said to you a saicret for a while--as well as that you +ever had any private talk wid me. Promise this.” + +“I shall certainly not promise any such thing, Poll; so far from that, +I will mention every word of your conversation to my father and family, +the moment I reach home. If, as you say, there is danger before or +around me, there are none whose protection I should so naturally seek.” + +“But this,” said Poll, with an appearance of deep anxiety, “this is a +matther of mere indifference to you: it's to me the danger is, if you +spake of it--to me, I say--not to you.” + +“But I can have no secrets from my family.” + +“Well, but is it ginerous in you to put me--ay', my very life in +danger--when all you have to do is merely to say nothing? However, since +I must speak out--you'll put more than me in danger--them that you love +betther, an' that you'd never carry a light heart if anything happened +them.” + +Mary started--and a light seemed suddenly to break upon her. + +“How,” said she, “my engagement to Francis Harman is no secret; our +marriage at no distant day being sanctioned by both our families. Is he +involved in danger connected with your hints?” + +“Deep and deadly, both to him and me. You don't know it, Miss Mary. If +you love him, as you do--as is well known you do--if you would keep him +and my poor worthless self out of danger, may be out of bloodshed--don't +mention a syllable of this meetin' to any one; but of all persons livin' +to himself, until I give you lave, until I can tell you it will be safe +to do so. See, I kneel down with hands clasped, I beg it of you for his +sake and safety!” + +It was pretty well known through the parish, especially by the +initiated, that this same Poll Doolin, had in truth most of its secrets +in keeping; and that she had frequently conducted with success those +rustic intrigues which are to be found in humble, as well as in high +life. The former part of Poll's character, however, was all that had +ever reached the youthful ears of poor innocent Mary, whilst of her +address as a diplomatist in the plots and pursuits of love, she was +utterly ignorant. Naturally unsuspicious, as we have already said, +she looked upon the woman's knowing character rather as a circumstance +calculated to corroborate the truth of the mystery which she, must have +discovered: and was so much moved by the unquestionable sincerity of her +manner, and the safety of her own lover, that she assured her she would +keep the secret, until permitted to divulge it; which she begged might +be at as early a period as possible. Poll thanked her eagerly and +gratefully, and in a few minutes, having made a circuit behind the ruin, +sought the lower and richer country by a different path. + +Mary unconsciously stood for some time after Poll had left her, +meditating over the strange and almost unaccountable scene which had +just taken place, when a rich voice, with which she was well acquainted, +addressed her. She started, and on turning about, found Francis Harman +before her. Twilight had now nearly passed away, and the dusk of evening +was deepening into the darkness of a summer night. + +“What on earth are you thinking of alone in this place, my dear Mary, +and who was that woman who just left you?” + +Mary, though firm of character, was also tender and warm of heart, and +felt deeply for those she loved. The interview with Poll, therefore, had +excited apprehensions concerning Harman's safety, which disturbed her +far more than any she felt for herself. He gave her his right arm as he +spoke, and they went on towards her father's house. + +“Good God,” he exclaimed, before she had time to answer him, “what +has disturbed or alarmed you, my sweet Mary? I feel your heart beating +against my arm, in a most extraordinary manner. How is this?” + +The consciousness of the injunction so solemnly and recently imposed, +distressed her exceedingly. Her love of truth was like her love of life +or of heaven, a sacred and instinctive principle which she must now +not only violate, but be forced to run into the hateful practice of +dissimulation. All this passed through her mind in a moment. + +“My dear Francis, I will freely admit that the beatings of my heart are +not altogether without cause; I have been somewhat disturbed, but it +will not signify; I shall be quite well in a moment--but where did you +come from?” + +“They told me you had gone up to poor Widow Carrick's--and I took the +short way, thinking to find you there. But what has disturbed you, my +dear Mary? Something has, and greatly too.” + +She looked up with an affectionate smile into his face, although there +trembled a tear upon her eyelids, as she spoke-- + +“Do not ask me, my dear Frank; nor don't think the circumstance of +much importance. It is a little secret of mine, which I cannot for the +present disclose.” + +“Well, my love, I only ask to know if the woman that left you was Poll +Doolin.” + +“I cannot answer even that, Frank; but such as the secret is, I trust +you shall soon know it.” + +“That is enough, my darling. I am satisfied that you would conceal +nothing from either your family or me, which might be detrimental either +to yourself or us--or which we ought to know.” + +“That is true,” said she, “I feel that it is true.” + +“But then on the other hand,” said he, playfully, “suppose our little +darling were in possession of a secret which we ought not to know--what +character should we bestow on the secret?” + +This, though said in love and jest, distressed her so much that she +was forced to tell him so--“my dear Francis,” she replied, with as +much composure as she could assume, “do not press me on the subject;--I +cannot speak upon it now, and I consequently must throw myself on your +love and generosity only for a short time, I hope.” + +“Not a syllable, my darling, on the subject until you resume it +yourself--how are Widow Carrick's sick children?” + +“Somewhat better,” she replied, “the two eldest are recovering, and want +nourishment, which, with the exception of my poor contributions, they +cannot get.” + +“God love and guard your kind and charitable heart, my sweet Mary,” said +he, looking down tenderly into her beautiful face, and pressing her arm +lovingly against his side. + +“What a hard-hearted man that under agent, M'Clutchy, is,” she +exclaimed, her beautiful eye brightening with indignation--“do you know +that while her children were ill, his bailiff, Darby O'Drive, by his +orders or authority, or some claim or other, took away her goose and +the only half-dozen of eggs she had for them--indeed, Frank, he's a sad +curse to the property.” + +“He is what an old Vandal was once called for his cruelty and +oppression--the Scourge of God,” replied Harman, “such certainly the +unhappy tenantry of the Topertoe family find him. Harsh and heartless +as he is, however, what would he be were it not for the vigilance and +humanity of Mr. Hickman? But are you aware, Mary, that his graceful son +Phil was a suitor of yours?” + +“Of mine---ha, ha, ha!--oh, that's too comical, Frank--but I am not--Had +I really ever that honor?” + +“Most certainly; his amiable father had the modesty to propose a +matrimonial union between your family and his!” + +“I never heard of it,” replied Mary, “never;--but that is easily +accounted for--my father, I know, would not insult me by the very +mention of it.” + +“It's a fact though, that the illegitimate son of the blasphemous old +squire, and of the virtuous and celebrated Kate Clank, hoped to have +united the M'Loughlin blood with his!” + +“Hush!” exclaimed Mary, shuddering, “the very thought is sickening, +revolting.” + +“It's not a pleasant subject, certainly,” said Harman, “and the less +that is said about it the more disgust we shall avoid, at any rate.” + +Her lover having safely conducted Mary home, remained with her family +only a few minutes, as the evening was advanced, and he had still to go +as far as Castle Cumber, upon business connected with the manufactory, +which M'Loughlin and his father had placed wholly under his +superintendence. + +Upon what slight circumstances does the happiness of individuals, +nay, even of states and kingdoms, too frequently depend! Harman most +assuredly was incapable of altogether dismissing the circumstance of +the evening--involved in mystery as they unquestionably were--out of his +mind; not that he entertained the slightest possible suspicion of Mary's +prudence or affection; but he felt a kind of surprise at the novelty +of the position in which he saw she was placed, and no little pain in +consequence of the disagreeable necessity for silence which she admitted +had been imposed on her. His confidence in her, however, was boundless; +and from this perfect reliance on her discretion and truth, he derived +an assurance that she was acting with strict propriety under the +circumstances, whatever might be their character or tendency. + +It may be necessary to mention here that a right of passage ran from +Beleeven, the name of the village in which M'Loughlin resided, to the +Castle Cumber high road, which it joined a little beyond Constitution +Cottage, passing immediately through an angle of the clump of beeches +already mentioned as growing behind the house. By this path, which +shortened the way very much, Harman, and indeed every pedestrian +acquainted with it, was in the habit of passing, and on the night in +question he was proceeding along it at a pretty quick pace, when, having +reached the beeches just alluded to, he perceived two figures, a male +and female, apparently engaged in close and earnest conversation. The +distance at first was too great to enable him to form any opinion as to +who they were, nor would he have even asked himself the question, were +it not that the way necessarily brought him pretty near them. The reader +may form some conception then of his surprise, his perplexity, and, +disguise it as he might, his pain, on ascertaining that the female was +no other than Poll Doolin, and her companion, graceful Phil himself--the +gallant and accomplished owner of Handsome Harry. + +It appeared quite evident that the subject matter of their conversation +was designed for no other ears than their own, or why speak as they did +in low and guarded tones, that implied great secrecy and caution. Nay, +what proved still a plainer corroboration of this--no sooner was the +noise of his footsteps heard, than Poll squatted herself down behind +the small hedge which separated the pathway from the space on which they +stood, and this clearly with a hope of concealing her person from +his observation. Phil also turned away his face with a purpose of +concealment, but the impression left by his lank and scraggy outline, +as it stood twisted before Harman, was such as could not be mistaken. +Poll's identity not only on this occasion, but also during her hasty +separation from Mary, was now established beyond the possibility of a +doubt; a fact which lent to both her interviews a degree of mystery that +confounded Harman. On thinking over the matter coolly, he could scarcely +help believing that Her appearance here was in some way connected with +the, circumstances which had occasioned Mary so much agitation and +alarm. This suspicion, however, soon gave way to a more generous +estimate of her character, and he could not permit himself for a moment +to imagine the existence of anything that was prejudicial to her truth +and affection. At the same time he felt it impossible to prevent himself +from experiencing a strong sense of anxiety, or perhaps we should say, a +feeling of involuntary pain, which lay like a dead weight upon his heart +and spirits. In truth, do what he might and reason as he would, he could +not expel from his mind the new and painful principle which disturbed +it. And thus he went on, sometimes triumphantly defending Mary from all +ungenerous suspicion, and again writhing under the vague and shapeless +surmises which the singular events of the evening sent crowding to +his imagination. His dreams on retiring to seek repose were +frightful--several times in the night he saw graceful Phil squinting +at him with a nondescript leer of vengeance and derision in his yellow +goggle eyes, and bearing Mary off, like some misshapen ogre of old, +mounted upon Handsome Harry, who appeared to be gifted with the speed +of Hark-away or flying Childers, whilst he himself could do nothing but +stand helplessly by, and contemplate the triumph of his hated rival. + +In the mean time the respected father and grandfather of that worthy +young gentleman were laboring as assiduously for his advancement in +life as if he had been gifted with a catalogue of all human virtues. +Old Deaker, true to his word, addressed the very next day the following +characteristic epistle-- + +“To the Right Hon. Lord Cumber. + +“My Lord--It is unnecessary to tell you that I was, during my life, +a plain blunt fellow in all my transactions. When I was honest, I was +honest like a man; and when I did the roguery, I did it like a open, +fearless knave, that defied the world and scorned hypocrisy. I am, +therefore, the same consistent old scoundrel as ever; or the same bluff, +good-humored rascal which your old father--who sold his country--and +yourself--who would sell it too, if you had one to sell--ever found me. +To make short work, then, I want you to dismiss that poor, scurvy devil, +Hickman, from your agency, and put that misbegotten spawn of mine in +his place. I mean Val M'Clutchy, or Val the Vulture, as they have very +properly christened him. Hickman's not the thing, in any sense. He can't +manage the people, and they impose upon him--then you suffer, of course. +Bedsides, he's an anti-ascendancy man, of late, and will go against you +at the forthcoming Election. The fellow pretends to have a conscience, +and be cursed to him--prates about the Union--preaches against +corruption--and talks about the people, as if they were fit to be +anything else than what they are. This is a pretty fellow for you to +have as an agent to your property. Now, I'll tell you what, my Lord--you +know old Deaker well. His motto is--'Let us eat, drink, and be merry, +for to-morrow we die--' I'll tell you what, I say; I have a mortgage on +your property for fourteen thousand pounds. Now, put in Val or I'll be +speaking to my lawyer about it. Put in Val, or you will never warm your +posteriors in a seat for this county, so long as I carry the key of it. +In doing so, make no wry faces about it--you will only serve yourself +and your property, and serve Val into the bargain. Val, to be sure, +is as confounded a scoundrel as any of us, but then he is a staunch +Protestant; and you ought not to be told at this time of day, that the +greater the scoundrel the better the agent. Would you have a fellow, +for instance, whose conscience, indeed, must stand between you and your +interest? Would you have some honest blockhead, who, when you are to be +served by a piece of friendly rascality, will plead scruples. If so, you +are a greater fool than I ever took you to be. Make Val your agent, and +it is not you that will suffer by him, but the people--whom, of course, +no one cares a curse about. I ought to have some claim on you, I think. +Many a lift I have given your precious old father, Tom Topertoe, when I +did not think of pleading scruples. To tell you the truth, many a dirty +trick I played for him, and never brought my conscience to account for +it. Make the most of this rascally world, and of the rascals that are in +it, for we are all alike in the grave. Put in Val, then, and don't made +an enemy of + +“Your old friend, + +“Randal Deaker. + +“P.S.--As to Val, he knows nothing of this transaction--I told him I +would say so, and I keep my word. I forgot to say that if you write this +beggarly devil, Hickman, a sharp letter for money, he may probably +save you the trouble of turning him out. I know him well--he is a thin +skinned fool, and will be apt to bolt, if you follow my advice. + +“Yours as you deserve it, + +“R D.” + + +Now, it is necessary to say here, that amidst all this pretence of open +villainy, there ran an undercurrent of cunning that might escape the +observation of most men. In truth, old Deaker was not only a knave, but +a most unscrupulous oppressor at heart, especially when he happened to +get a man in his power from whom he wished to extort a favor, or on +whom he wished to inflict an injury. In the present instance he felt +perfectly conscious of his power over the heartless profligate, to whom +he wrote such a characteristic letter, and the result shows that he +neither miscalculated the feeble principles of his correspondent, nor +the consequences of his own influence over him. By due return of post he +received a reply, of which the following is a copy:-- + +“Old Deaker--You have me fast, and you know it--so I suppose must is +the word; now I'll tell you what I want, you old villain; I want two +thousand pounds, and if M'Clutchy is to get the agency, I must have +the money--so there is my must as well as yours. In the meantime I have +written to Hickman on the same subject, want of money, I mean--what the +consequences may be, I know not, but I fancy I can guess them. + +“Yours, + +“Cumber.” + + + + +CHAPTER VI.--The Life and Virtues of an Irish Absentee + +--Duties of an Irish Landlord--An Apologue on Property--Reasons for +Appointing an Agent--M'Clutchy's Notions of His Duties--Receipt to make +a Forty Shilling Freeholder. + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hickman, Esq. + +“London, April 1st, 18-- + +“My Dear Hickman, + +“I wrote to you the day before yesterday, and, as the letter was one of +a very pressing nature, I hope its influence won't be lost upon you. +To you who are so well acquainted with the cursed pickle in which I am +placed, it is unnecessary to say that I shall be fairly done up, unless +you can squeeze something for me out of those rascally tenants of mine. +Fairly done up is not the proper term either; for between you and me, I +strongly suspect a young fellow called Swingler, an ironmonger's son, +of giving me a twist too much, on more than one occasion. He was +introduced, that is, proposed as a member of our club, by Sir Robert +Ratsbane, whose grandfather was a druggist, and seconded by Lord +Loadstone, the celebrated lady-killer, as a regular pigeon, who dropped, +by the death of old 'burn the wind,' into half a million at least. The +fellow did appear to be a very capital speculation, but the whole thing, +however, was a trick, as I strongly suspect; for after losing to a +tolerably smart tune, our gentleman began to illustrate the doctrine of +reaction, and has, under the character of a pigeon, already fleeced half +a score of us. Last week I suffered to the tune of eight hundred--Sir +Heavyhead to that of twelve--Bill Swag five--and the Hon. Tom Trickman +himself, who scarcely ever loses, gave bills for six fifties. I can't +stand this, Hickman, that is, I cannot afford to stand it. What is +fifteen thousand a year to a man like me, who must support his rank, or +be driven to the purgatorial alternative of being imprisoned on his own +estate? Hickman, you have no bowels for me, although you can have for +the hard-fisted boors on my property, who wont pay up as they ought, and +all through your indolence and neglect. You must send me money, get it +where you will; beg, borrow, rob, drive, cant, sell out--for money I +must have. Two thousand within a fortnight, and no disappointment, +or I'm dished. You know not the demands upon me, and therefore you, +naturally enough, think very easily--much too easily--of my confounded +difficulties. If you had an opera girl to keep, as I have--and a +devilish expensive appendage the affectionate jade is--perhaps you might +feel a little more Christian sympathy for me than you do. If you had the +expense of my yacht--my large stud at Melton Mowbry and Doncaster, and +the yearly deficits in my betting book, besides the never ending train +of jockies, grooms, feeders, trainers, _et hoc genus omne_--to meet, it +is probable, old boy, you would not feel so boundless an interest, as +you say you do, in the peace and welfare of another man's tenantry, and +all this at that other man's expense. You're confoundedly unreasonable, +Hickman. Why feel, or pretend to feel, more for these fellows, their +barelegged wives, and ragged brats, than you do for a nobleman of rank, +to whom you are deeply indebted. I mean you no offence, Hickman; you are +in other respects an honest fellow enough, and if possessed of only a +little less heart, as the times go, and more skill in raising money from +these people, you would be invaluable to such a distressed devil as I +am. As it is, I regret to say, that you are more a friend to my tenantry +than to myself, which is a poor qualification for an agent. In fact, we, +the Irish aristocracy living here, or absentees as you call us, instead +of being assailed by abuse, want of patriotism, neglect of duties, and +all that kind of stuff, have an especial claim upon the compassion of +their countrymen. If you knew what we, with limited means and encumbered +properties, must suffer in attempting to compete with the aristocracy +of this country, who are enormously rich, you would say that we deserve +immortal credit for holding out and keeping up appearances as we +do--not that I think we always come off scott-free from their ridicule, +especially when they see the shifts to which we are put, in order to +stretch onward at their own pace. However, we must drink when we are +thirsty, as well as they, and if the water happen to be low in the +cistern, which, indeed, is mostly the case with us, we must, as the +rook in the fable did with the pebbles, throw in rack-renting, drivings, +executions, mortgages, loans, &c, in order to bring it within our +reach--for there is ingenuity in everything, as the proverb says, except +in roasting of eggs. + +“Come, then, Hickman, set to work at once. My yacht has been damaged by +a foolish wager I made to run her through a creek of reefs at low water, +so that the mere repairs will cost me a cool two hundred at least. +Besides this, I have pledged myself to buy my charming little Signora a +pair of Blenheim spaniels that she has fallen in love with, for which I +shall have to fork out a hundred and fifty down. I say, then, again, +my dear Hickman, money, money; money by _any_ means, but by _all_ means +money; _rem, sed quocunque modo rem_. + +“By the way is there not a man there, a kind of under-fellow in +something--agent, I believe--some time appointed, named M'Snitchy, or +M'Smatchey, M'Clutchy, or some such euphonious appellative? Somebody, +old Deaker I think, once mentioned him to me in strong terms, and said +he might become capable of being useful; and you know, Hickman, as well +as I do, that every property circumstanced as mine is, requires a useful +fellow of that particular description. For instance, I dare say, there +are certain proceedings connected with your duty to which you have +no great inclination, and, under these circumstances, would it not +be prudent at least to resort to the agency of somebody like this +M'Clutchy; a fellow not overburthened with too strong a perception of +the necessary pressure. But the truth is, if I proceed in this manner, +your humanity, as the cant goes, will take the alarm; you will say that +my residence abroad has not improved my principles; and that I am rather +strongly tainted with club morality, and the ethics of the gaming, +house. So would you, perhaps, if you breathed my atmosphere, and were +exposed to my temptations. But now I am preaching, and not to the right +purpose either; so as I said before, I say again--money, money, money. + +“I am, my dear Hickman, +“Thy friend in distress, +“Cumber.” + + +Henry Hickman, Esq., to the Right Honorable Lord Viscount Cumber:-- + +Primrose Hill, April 18-- + +“My Lord: + +“I have had the honor of receiving both your communications, and have +read them, especially that of the first instant, with great pain. I need +not tell you, that I have been your father's friend--that I have been, +and still am your friend, and as such, from my age and anxiety for your +lordship's welfare and reputation, I must take the liberty of one who +has both sincerely at heart, to write to you in terms which a mere agent +could not with propriety use. As this letter, therefore, is written +for your own eye only, you will be good enough to remember that in +everything severe and home-spoken in it, the friend, and not the agent +speaks--at the same time, I must admit, that it is from the knowledge +gained as an agent that I remonstrate as a friend. + +“It is now beyond a doubt, my Lord, that your position is one surrounded +with difficulties scarcely to be surmounted, unless by measures which I, +as an honest man, cannot permit myself to adopt. So long as the course +of life, which it has pleased your lordship's better taste and judgment +to pursue, did not bring within the compass of my duties as your agent, +the exhibition of principles at variance with humanity and justice, so +long did I fulfil those duties with all the ability and zeal for your +just interests which I could exert. But now I perceive, that you have +driven me to that line beyond which I cannot put my foot, without +dishonor to myself. I have been the agent of your property, my Lord, but +I shall never become the instrument of your vices; and believe me, this +is a distinction which in our unhappy country, is too seldom observed. +Many an agent, my Lord, has built himself a fortune out of the very +necessities of his employer, and left to his children the honorable +reflection that their independence originated from profligacy on the one +hand and dishonesty on the other. You see, my Lord, I find it necessary +to be very plain with you, and to say, that however you may feel +yourself disposed to follow the one course, I shall not rival you in the +other. I cannot become a scourge inflicted by your necessities, not to +use a harsher word, upon a suffering people, who are already exhausted +and provoked by an excess of severity and neglect. Think of the +predicament in which you would have me stand--of the defence which you +place, in my lips. Should your tenantry ask me--'why are you thus cruel +and oppressive-upon us?' what reply could I make but this--'I am thus +cruel because his lordship is profligate. He wants money to support +his-mistress, to feed her vanities and excesses, and you must endure +distress and privation, that the insatiable rapacity of a courtezan may +be gratified. His lordship, too, has horses and dogs, in the welfare of +which he feels a deep interest.' 'But why does he not feel an interest +in us?' 'So he does, for are not you the persons by whose toil and labor +he is enabled to support them all?' 'So that in point of fact, we +are made indirectly the agents of his crimes. The privations which +we suffer--the sweat of our brows--the labor of our hands, go to +the-support of his wantonness, his luxury, and his extravagance! +This, then, is his interest in us?' 'Yes--_work, that you may feed +them_--starve, that his mistress may riot in wantonness; perish your +children that his dogs may be fed!' In such a position as this, my Lord, +I shall never place myself, but you may easily find many that will. The +moment your necessities are known, knavery will be immediately at work, +and assume its guardianship over folly. Indeed there is a monarchical +spirit in knavery, which has never yet been observed. The knave keeps +his fool, as did the kings of old, with this only difference, and a +material one it is--that whilst the fool always lived at the king's +expense, the knave lives at the fool's. How your lordship may feel under +the new administration I cannot say, but I am inclined to think, you +will not find it a distinction without a difference. By this, of course, +you understand, my Lord, that I at once resign my agency. + +“And now, my Lord, in addition to many other unavailable remonstrances +made by me, not only against your licentious habits as a man, but +against your still more indefensible conduct as a landlord, allow me +to address you in a spirit of honesty, which I fear is not easily found +among the class to which I belong. I look upon this as a duty which I +owe less to you than to my country, because I am satisfied that the +most important service which can be rendered to any man, not ashamed +of either your habits or principles, is to lay before him a clear, but +short and simple statement, of that which constitutes his duty as +a landlord--I should say an Irish landlord--for there is a national +idiosyncrasy of constitution about such a man, which appears to prevent +him from properly discharging his duties, either as a friend to himself, +or a just man to his tenantry. + +“The first principle, therefore, which an Irish landlord--or, indeed any +landlord--should lay down, as his fixed and unerring guide, is ever to +remember that his tenantry are his best friends--his only patrons--and +that instead of looking down upon them with contempt, neglect, or even +indifference, he should feel that they are his chief benefactors, who +prop his influence, maintain his rank, and support his authority. + +“The second is--that the duties of the landlord to his tenantry are much +greater, and far more important than those of his tenantry to him, and +should at least be quite as equitably and attentively discharged. + +“The third is--to remember that the great mass of the population in +Ireland belong to one creed, and the great bulk of landed proprietors +to another; and to take care that none of those fierce and iniquitous +prerogatives of power, which are claimed and exercised by those who +possess property, shall be suffered, in the name of religion, or +politics, or prejudice of any kind, to disturb or abridge the civil or +religious rights of the people, and thus weaken the bonds which should +render the interests of landlord and tenant identical. Prejudice so +exercised is tyranny. Every landlord should remember that the soil is of +no religion. + +“The fourth is--simply to remember that those who live upon our +property have bodies and souls, passions, reflections, and feelings +like ourselves. That they are susceptible of hunger, cold, grief, +joy, sickness, and sorrow--that they love their children and domestic +relatives, are attached to their religion, bound by strong and heartfelt +ties to the soil they live on, and are, in fact, moved by all those +general laws and principles of life and nature, which go to make up +social and individual happiness--to remember, in short, that they are +men who have higher destinies in life, than merely administering to the +wants, excesses, or crimes of others; and that no condition has ever yet +been known to subsist between landlord and tenant, or even between man +and man, by which one party is required to surrender comfort, freedom, +and enjoyment, in fact, all that life is good for, merely to gratify the +wants, vices, or ambition of the other. + +“The fifth and last is--not by oppression, cruelty, or rapacity, to goad +the people into madness and outrage, under the plausible name of law +or justice; or to drive the national mind--which is a clear one--into +reflections that may lead it to fall back upon first principles, or +force it to remember that the universal consent by which the rights of +property are acknowledged, may, under the exasperation of overstrained +pressure, in a land so peculiarly circumstanced as Ireland is, +be altogether withheld, and thus its whole foundations shaken or +overturned, and the justice of individual claims and prescriptive right +lost in the tumult. + +“These principles are simple, my Lord, but they ought at least to be +better known, or what would be still more desirable, better practised. +As, however, my paper is nearly filled, I shall finish my communication +with a short fab!e, to which I beg your lordship's serious attention. + +“There lived a man once, who was foolish enough to entertain a senseless +prejudice against cows, because they did not give milk all the year +round. This man was married, and of course, had a numerous family of +children, and being very lazy and improvident, depended principally upon +the kindliness of an excellent cow, whose milk was the chief means of +his support and theirs. At length in the due course of time, the poor +cow, as every one must know, began to yield it in diminished quantities, +and as it happened to be a severe year, and as the lazy man we speak of +had made no provision for its occurrence, it is unnecessary to say that +he and his family were put to the greatest straits for subsistence. +Finding, after much deliberation, that the poor animal, which they +kicked and cudgelled to excess could not change the laws of nature, or +afford them that which she did not possess, it was determined by her +proprietor, that as she failed in supplying them with sufficient milk +they should try the fleams, and have recourse to her blood, in order +to eke out their support. Accordingly she was bled, along with being +milked; but if the quantity of milk she gave before was little, it now +became less, so that in proportion as they drew upon the one the other +diminished, as was but natural. In this way they proceeded, milking and +bleeding the poor animal at the same time, not only without any benefit +to themselves, but with a certain prospect of her ultimate loss, when +one day the cow, after having ruminated for some time on the treatment +she was receiving, began to reflect that she could not be much worse, +or rather that she must soon altogether sink under this system of double +drainage. 'Well' thought she, 'I feel how matters must close with me +at last; I am indeed near the end of my tether; what have I now to fear +when I know that I cannot be worse? And if I am to die, as I must, is it +not better to have satisfaction for my sufferings'? Accordingly, me next +morning when her owner went to get blood for their breakfast, it so +happened that the cow thrust a horn into him, and he was found lying +a corpse under her lifeless carcase--the last drop of her blood having +been expended under the final operation of the fleams. My Lord, the +moral of this is as obvious as it is fearful--and fearfully have the +circumstances of the country, and the principles of such men as you, +caused it to be illustrated. If landlords will press too severely +upon the functions of human suffering and patience, it is not to be +surprised, although it is to be deplored, that where no legal remedy +exists against individual cruelty or rapacity, or that plausible +selfishness, which is the worst species of oppression--that the law, I +say, which protects only the one party should be forgotten or despised +by the other, and a fiercer code of vengeance substituted in its stead. + +“With respect to Mr. M'Clutchy, surely your lordship must remember that +by your own letter he was appointed under agent more than three years +ago. + +“If, after the many remonstrances I have had occasion to make against +his general conduct to the tenants, you consider him a useful man upon +your property, you will, in that case, have to abide the consequences of +your confidence in him. You are, at all events, duly forewarned. + +“I now must beg leave, my Lord, to render up my trust, to resign my +situation as the agent of your estates--I do so with pain, but the +course of your lordship's life has left me no other alternative. I +cannot rack and goad your tenants, nor injure your own property. I +cannot paralyze industry, cramp honest exertion, or distress poverty +still further, merely to supply necessities which are little less than +criminal in yourself and ruinous to your tenantry. + +“Believe me, my Lord, I would not abandon you in your difficulties, if I +saw any honorable means of extricating you from them. You know, however, +that every practicable step has been taken for that purpose, but without +effect--your property should grow rapidly indeed, in order to keep pace +with the increasing and incessant demands which are made upon it. We +can borrow no more, and the knowledge of that fact alone, ought to set +a limit to your extravagance. Excuse this plainness, my Lord, it is well +meant and void of intentional offence. + +“I shall be ready in a few days to deliver all books, papers, documents, +&c, connected With the property, to any person duly authorized by your +Lordship to receive them. + +“I have the honor to be, &c, + +“Henby Hickman.” + + +The Right Honorable Lord Cumber to Valentine M'Clutchy:-- + +Doncaster, April, 18-- + +“Sir: + +“In consequence of certain communications which have passed between Mr. +Hickman and myself, I have determined that he shall no longer act in +the capacity of my agent. The situation is therefore open, and, until +a competent person shall be appointed, I authorize you to discharge its +duties, and receive from him a correct statement of all accounts +between us, together with all deeds, leases, books, papers, &c, in his +possession; you first having procured me adequate security, the amount +of which will be determined by M'Slime, my law agent, who will join or +aid you in making all necessary arrangements. + +“You will also have the goodness, as soon afterwards as you feel it +practicable, to transmit me a bond fide account of the Ballyrocket and +Tulygrindem estates, their capability of improvement, condition of the +tenantry, what leases are expired, if any, and those which will soon +drop, with a view of seeing what can be made out of it. In this, also, +M'Slime will aid you. + +“As to the person who may succeed Hickman, as a necessary preliminary he +must lay down two thousand pounds, in the shape of an equivalent for the +appointment. Could you within a fortnight or so, raise so much? If so, +let me hear from you without delay, as it is not unlikely in that case, +I may appoint yourself. + +“By the way, do you understand the manufacture of forty shilling +free-holders in an economical way, because if you do, it would be a +desideratum. Parliament, it is said, will be dissolved in June, and I +want, as well as I can remember, nearly two hundred votes. My brother +lost the last election by something about that number, and I know he +feels very anxious to get into parliament for many reasons. He is now on +the continent, where he has been for the last three years.” + + +Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to the Right Hon. Lord Viscount Cumber:-- + +“My Lord: + +“I have had the honor of receiving your Lordship's kind communication, +to which I hasten to make the earliest possible reply. And first, my +Lord, allow me to return sincere thanks for your warm kindness, in +promising to appoint me your agent. You may rest assured, my Lord, that +I will go through my duties as such without favor or affection to any +one, barring your lordship, whose interests it will night and day become +my duty to study. With, respect to the loan your lordship makes allusion +to, I fear it will be out of my power to raise it--that is to the full +amount; but if one-half would do, I might by the aid of friends get it +together. As for security, I trust it is only necessary to say, that +Randal Deaker and Cadwallader Tullywagger, Esqrs., are ready to give it +to any amount, so that there is no difficulty there at all events. + +“On looking again at your lordship's kind letter, it appears possible +that I made a mistake in considering the two thousand as a loan; but +on the other hand, there is not a man living, who respects the high +principles and delicate feelings of our aristocracy more than I do, +and the consequence was, that I feared in supposing it otherwise than a +loan, I might offend your lordship's keen sense of honor, which I pledge +my credit and reputation would grieve my heart even to think of. Under +this impression, then, I shall continue to believe it a loan, until I +have the honor of hearing from your lordship again. + +“Your anxiety, my Lord, to ascertain the state of your property and the +condition of your tenantry is certainly honorable to yourself, as being +a direct proof of the generous interest you feel in their welfare. It is +fortunate in this instance, that your lordship should apply to a man who +has had the opportunities of becoming acquainted with both. True, I am +a simple-minded man, my Lord, and if I possess one quality more +than another it is a love of truth, and a slow, but straightforward +perseverance in whatever is right. It is to this, always under +Providence, that I owe everything. I grant indeed, that it ill becomes +me to speak in this manner of myself, but my object in doing so is, +that as I am about to enter into communications touching your lordship's +tenants and property, you may be induced to place the fullest confidence +in whatever I shall say. Many a time, indeed, my excellent and worthy +friend, Mr. Hickman, has made the same observation, and I felt it +gratifying in the highest degree to hear this from a man who is truth +itself, and whose only fault is--if it be one--that his heart is too +kind, and rather easily imposed on by those who deal in fraud and +cunning. A man like him, who, if he cannot speak well of an absent +friend, will be silent, is a jewel in this life which ought to be worn +in the very core of the heart. + +“With respect to the Ballyracket estate, of which I shall speak first, I +cannot report so favorably as I could wish. The task, in fact, is to me, +personally, a very painful one; especially with reference to that well +meaning and estimable gentleman, Mr. Hickman. In the first place, my +Lord, the tenantry are not at all in arrears, a circumstance which is +by no means in favor of the landlord, especially an Irish one. Every one +knows that an Irish landlord has other demands upon his tenantry besides +the payment of their rents. Is there no stress, for instance, to be laid +upon his political influence, which cannot be exerted unless +through their agency? Now a tenant not in arrears to his landlord is +comparatively independent, but it is not with an independent tenantry +that a landlord can work his wishes. No, my Lord; the safe principle +is to keep the tenant two or three gales behind, and if he fails in +submission, or turns restiff, and becomes openly contumacious, then +you have the means of rectifying the errors of his judgment in your own +hands, and it can be done with the color of both law and justice, behind +which any man may stand without the imputation of harsh motives, or +an excessive love of subordination. I am sorry that Mr. Hickman should +differ with me on this point, for he is a man whose opinions are +very valuable on many things, with the exception of his amiable and +kind-hearted obstinacy. + +“The next disadvantage to your interests, my Lord, is another error--I +am sorry to be forced to say it--of Mr. Hickman. That gentleman is an +advocate for education and the spread of knowledge. Now if an agent were +as much devoted to the interests of the people as he is and ought to be +to those of the landlord, this principle might pass; but as I take it, +that the sole duty of an agent is to extend the interest of his employer +exclusively, so am I opposed to any plan or practice by which the people +may be taught to think too clearly. For let me ask, my Lord, what class +of persons, at the approach of an election, for instance, or during +its continuance, are most available for our interests? Who are driven +without reluctance, without thought, or without reason, in blind and +infatuated multitudes, to the hustings? Certainly not those who have +been educated, or taught to think and act for themselves; but the poor +and the ignorant. And, my Lord, is not the vote of an ignorant man as +valid in law as one who is enlightened? For these reasons, then, I do +not approve of the new schools which Mr. Hickman has established; and +I was pleased to hear that your lordship was sufficiently awake to your +own interests, to decline granting them any support. No, my Lord; an +educated people will be a thinking people--a thinking people will be an +independent people--but an independent people will not be a manageable +people; and if that is not placing the subject in a satisfactory light, +I know not what is. + +“I need scarcely assure you, my Lord, that in my own humble way, I did +everything I reasonably could to discountenance the education system. I +even went so far as to prevent several of the tenants from sending +their children to these schools; but, as usual, I experienced but little +gratitude at their hands, or at those of their parents. This, however, +was not so much owing to my interference, as to the accidental +circumstance of three or four of them having been hanged or transported +for crimes which they were base enough to impute to the ignorance +occasioned by my principles--for so they spoke. + +“Such then is the condition of the Ballyracket tenantry. They are not in +arrears, and you may consequently guess at the wretched state of their +moral feelings. They are, in fact, every day becoming more aware of the +very kind of knowledge which we don't wish them to possess. They do not +slink aside when they see you now; on the contrary, they stand erect, +and look you fearlessly in the face. Upon my credit and reputation +this is truth--melancholy truth, my Lord--and I fear that at the next +election you will find it so to your cost. + +“I have lost no time in ascertaining the other particulars mentioned in +your lordship's letter. The leases of three townlands expired on +March last. They are Derrydowny, Cracknaboulteen, and Ballyweltem. The +principal tenant of Derrydowny is a very respectable widow---one Mrs. +M'Swaddle--a woman of serious habits, if not of decided piety. She +has three daughters, all of whom sit under the ministration of a Mr. +Bolthan--which is pronounced Bottom--a young preacher, belonging to the +Methodist connection. They are to all appearance well in the world, keep +a conversation car, and have the reputation of being very honest and +saving--Old M'Swaddle himself was a revenue collector, and it is +said, died richer than they are willing to admit. Cracknaboulteen is +altogether in the possession of the celebrated family of the M'Kegs--or, +as they are called, the Five Sols--the name of each being Solomon, which +is shortened into Sol. There is lame Sol, blind Sol, long Sol, uncertain +Sol, and Sol of the mountain. They are celebrated distillers of poteen +whiskey, but are not rich. The estate, in fact, would be better without +them, were it not for their votes. The townland of Ballyweltem is +principally the property of a wild faction, named M'Kippeen, whose great +delight is to keep up perpetual feud against an opposite faction of +the O'Squads, who on their part are every whit as eager for the fray as +their enemies. These are also poor enough, and in an election are +not to be depended on. I should say, in addition to this, that several +renewal, fines will fall in during the course of the winter. I +shall, however, examine the leases, and other documents, still more +searchingly, and see what can be got out of it, and how far we can go. + +“The Tullygrindem estate is, I am sorry to say, in a still more +disheartening condition. There is a very bitter and knowing family +living on the townland of Beleeven, named M'Loughlin, who contrive to +spread dangerous and destructive principles among the tenantry. They +are cunning, unscrupulous, and vindictive, but cautious, plausible, and +cloaked with the deepest hypocrisy. I have been endeavoring for years +to conciliate, or rather, reform them by kindness, but hitherto +without effect; whether I shall ultimately succeed in purifying this +fountain-head of bigotry and unconstitutional principle--I do not wish +to use a shorter, but a much stronger term--I cannot yet say. I +shall, at all events, from a sense of justice to you, my Lord, and of +kindness--mistaken it may be, I grant you--to them, continue to make the +desirable attempt. My amiable friend, Hickman, has certainly been +made the dupe of their adroitness, but, indeed, he is too simple +and credulous for this world, as every kind-hearted man, with great +benevolence and little judgment, usually is. If I had not risen honestly +and honorably, as I trust I may say, through the gradations of office +upon this property, I think it probable I, might myself have been +deceived and misled by the natural and seductive tact of this dangerous +family. Mr. Hickman espouses their quarrel, not exactly their quarrel, +but their cause against me; but that is so completely in accordance with +his easy simplicity of character, and his pardonable love of popularity, +that it rather endears him to, me than otherwise. + +“Indeed, I may say, my Lord, candidly and confidentially, that there +is a spirit abroad upon your estates, which requires to be vigilantly +watched, and checked with all due and reasonable promptitude; I allude +principally to these M'Loughlins, and when I state that my excellent +and well disposed friend is absolutely popular among your tenantry, even +although he made them pay up to the very last gale, and that I am by no +means in good odor with them, you will not be surprised when I furnish +your lordship with a key to this same state of feeling which exists so +generally in this country. This, then, my Lord, is the secret:--whenever +an Irish agent devotes himself honestly to the wants, wishes, and +interests of his employer, especially if he be needy and pressed for +money, so sure will he become unpopular with the tenantry. Now, I am +somewhat unpopular with the tenantry, and my amiable friend, Hickman, is +beloved by them; but I think your lordship by this time understands the +why and the wherefore on both sides. As your agent, my Lord, I should +regret such popularity, at the same time, I think the intentions of +poor, sweet, amiable Hickman's heart, are such as we must all love and +admire. + +“With respect, my Lord, to the manufacture of the “forties,” as a +certain comical class of freeholders are termed, I could have easily +undertaken to double the number you mention, on the most reasonable +terms, were it not for the discouraging system adopted by Mr. Hickman. +As it is, I must see what can be done; but your lordship knows that I +can take no step either in this or anything else, until my appointment +shall be finally confirmed. Perhaps you are not aware of the remarkable +document, on the subject in question, which has recently gone its rounds +in this country. It is called-- + +“'A RECEIPT TO MAKE A FORTY SHILLING FREEHOLDER.' + +“'Take the poorest Irishman you can get, he must be destitute and +ignorant, for then he will be slavish, give him a mud cabin, but no +education; let the former be a bad model of an indifferent pig-stye, and +held at thrice its value. Put him to repose on a comfortable bed of +damp straw, with his own coat and his wife's petticoat, for bed-clothes. +Pamper him on two half meals of potatoes and point per day--with water +_ad libitum_. For clothing--let him have a new shirt once every three +years--to give him exercise and keep him clean--a hat once in every +seven, and brogues whenever he can get them. His coat and breeches--lest +he might grow too independent--must be worn upon the principle of the +Highlander's knife, which, although a century in the family, was never +changed, except sometimes the handle and sometimes the blade. Let his +right to vote be founded upon a freehold property of six feet square, or +as much as may be encompassed by his own shift, and take care that there +be a gooseberry bush in the centre of it; he must have from four to +ten children, as a proof of his standing in society, all fashionably +dressed, and coming at the rate of one every twelve months. Having thus, +by a liberal system of feeding and clothing, rendered him strong for +labor, you must work him from dark to dark--pay him fourpence a day for +three quarters of the year, with permission to beg or starve for the +remainder. When in health task him beyond his strength, and when +sick neglect him--for there is nothing so beautiful as kindness in a +landlord, and gratitude in a tenant--and thus will your virtues become +reciprocal. He must live under a gradation of six landlords, so that +whoever defaults, he may suffer--and he will have the advantage of six +tyrants instead of one. Your agent is to wheedle, and your bailiff to +bully him; the one must promise, and the other threaten; but if both +fail, you must try him yourself. Should he become intractable under all +this, you must take purer measures.--Compliment him on his wife--praise +and admire his children--play upon his affections, and corrupt him +through his very virtues--for that will show that you love your country +and her people better than your own interests. Place a promise of +independence on one side of him, but a ruined cottage and extermination +on the other. When all his scruples are thus honorably overcome, and his +conscience skilfully removed, take him for twenty minutes or so out of +his rags, put him into a voting suit that he may avoid suspicion, bring +him up to the poll--steep him in the strongest perjury, then strip him +of his voting suit, clap him into his rags, and having thus fitted him +for the perpetration of any treachery or crime, set him at large +once more, that he may disseminate your own principles upon your +own property, until you may require him again. Having thus honestly +discharged your duty to God and your country, go calmly to your pillow, +where you can rest in the consciousness of having done all that a +virtuous man and true patriot can do, to promote the comfort and +independence of his fellow creatures.' + +“I have the honor to be, &c., &c., +“VAL M'CLUTCHY,” + + + +Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney at Law: + +“DEAR SIR: + +“Enclosed is a letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, which I will trouble you to +forward to him as soon as you can. It contains his appointment to the +vacant agency, together with the proper power of attorney, and I have +every reason to hope that my property will improve under him. I did +think it no breach of any honorable principle to make him advance, by +way of compensation, the sum of two thousand pounds. It is a thing very +usually done, I am aware, and by men who would not bear any imputation +against their honor. But I know not how it is, his letter has deterred +me from taking the money in that light. It would be certainly too bad +to allow a person of his birth and standing in the world to teach one +of mine a lesson in delicacy of feeling. For this reason, then, let +him advance the money on the usual terms of loan:--that you can +adjust between you. All I ask is, that you will not lose one moment +of unnecessary time in accomplishing this business, and remitting the +money. Two thousand in a fortnight will be of more value to me than four +in a month, owing to the peculiar difficulties in which I am placed. + +“Yours, CUMBER. + +“P.S.--I say, my little saint, I hope you are as religious as ever--but +in the meantime as it is not unlikely--but on the contrary very +probable--if not altogether certain--that I shall be in Ireland should +the election take place, I trust you will have the kindness to let me +know if there's e'er a pretty girl in the neighborhood--that wants +a friend and protector--ha, ha, ha--as great a sinner as ever, you +see--but for that reason you know the more entitled to your prayers +for my conversion. The greater the saint, the greater the sinner +now-a-days--or is it the other way? I forget. + +“CUMBER.” + + +Lord Cumber to Val M'Clutchy, enclosed in the above: + +“Dear Sir: + +“I am very happy in appointing you to the important situation of my +agent, with all the necessary powers and authority to act as may best +seem to you for my advantage. The money I will take on your own terms, +only I beg that you will lose no time in remitting it. I agree with you +in thinking that Mr. Hickman, however well meaning, was deficient +in firmness and penetration of character, so far as the tenants were +concerned; and I would recommend you to avoid the errors which you +perceived in him. With many principles laid down in your letter I agree, +but not with all. For instance, if I understand you right, you would +appear to advocate too much indulgence to the tenantry at my expense; +for what else is allowing them to run into arrears. This certainly +keeps the money out of my pocket, and you cannot surely expect me to +countenance such a proceeding as that:--whilst I say this, it is due to +you that I consider your ultimate object a correct one. Property loses +a great portion of its value, unless a landlord's influence over the +people be as strong as his right to the soil; and for this reason, the +duty of every landlord is to exercise as powerful a control over the +former, and get as much out of the latter as he can. The landlords, to be +sure, are of one religion and the people of another; but so long as we +can avail ourselves of the latter for political purposes, we need care +but little about their creed. The results in this case are precisely the +same as if the country were Protestant, and that is as much as we +want. Indeed I question if the whole Irish population were Protestant +to-morrow, whether the fact would not be against us. I now speak +as identifying myself with British interests. Would we find them as +manageable and as easily shaped to our purposes? I fear not. They would +demand education, knowledge, and all the fulness of civil liberty; they +would become independent, they would think for themselves, and in +what predicament would that place us? Could we then work our British +interests, foster British prejudices, and aid British ambition as we do? +Certainly not, unless we had the people with us, and without them we are +nothing. + +“On the whole, then, so long as we continue to maintain our proper +influence over them, I think, without doubt, we are much safer as we +stand. + +“With respect to the discharge of your duty, your own judgment will be a +better guide than mine. As I said before, avoid Hickman's errors; I fear +he was too soft, credulous, and easily played upon. Excess of feeling, +in fact, is a bad qualification in an agent. Humanity is very well in +its place; but a strong sense of duty is worth a thousand of it. +It strikes me, that you would do well to put on a manner in your +intercourse with the tenants, as much opposed to Hickman's as possible. +Be generally angry, speak loud, swear roundly, and make them know their +place. To bully and browbeat is not easily done with success, even in +a just cause, although with a broken-spirited people it is a good gift; +but after all I apprehend the best method is just to adapt your bearing +to the character of the person you have to deal with, if you wish, as +you ought, to arrive at that ascendency of feeling on your part, and +subserviency on theirs, which are necessary to keep them in proper +temper for your purposes. + +“Your receipt for making a forty shilling freeholder contains many +excellent ingredients, but I do not think it was honestly drawn up; that +is, I believe it to be the production of some one who was not friendly +to that system of franchise. I have little else to say, except that you +will find it necessary I think to be very firm and rigorous. Remember +that we are here to-day, and gone to-morrow; so upon this principle keep +them moving at a steady pace. In three words, think of my difficulties, +and get all you can out of them--still remembering, as we say in the +ring, never to train them below their strength, for that would be the +loss of our own battle. + +“Yours, +“Cumber.” + + +Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney-at-law, to Lord Cumber, + +“My esteemed Lord: + +“I had the unmerited honor--for, indeed, to a man sensible of his many +frailties as I am, I feel it is an unmerited honor--to receive any +communication from one whom the Lord hath exalted to a place of such +high rank in this world, as that which your lordship so worthily fills. +It gives me great gratification, my Lord, to learn from your last letter +that you have appointed my friend, Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, as your +agent. I am not in the habit of attributing such circumstances as +this--being, as they generally are, matters of mere worldly prudence +and convenience--to any over-ruling cause from above; but truly the +appointment of such a man at this particular time, looks as if there +were a principle of good at work for your lordship's interests. May you +continue, as you do, to deserve it! Your change of agents is, indeed, +one that, through the talent, energy, and integrity of Mr. M'Clutchy, is +likely to redound much and largely to your own benefit. In his capacity +of under agent, I have had frequent opportunities of transacting +business with him; and when I contrast his quickness, clearness, +honesty, and skill, with the evident want of----but no, my Lord; far be +it from me, as a Christian man, to institute any rash comparison either +in favor of my fellow-creature or against him, so long as sin and +prejudice even for that which is good, and frailty, may render us, as +they often do, liable to error. In Mr. M'Clutchy it is possible I may +be mistaken; in Mr. Hickman it is possible I may be mistaken--I am not +infallible--I am frail--a very sinner, but not removed wholly, I would +trust, out of the range of grace. My Lord, I say again, that, as a +conscientious man, and as far as mere human reason--which is at best +but short-sighted--enables me to judge, I am truly cheered in spirit by +this, I trust, providential change in the agency of your property. My +Lord, in my various correspondence, I generally endeavor to make it +a rule not to forget my Christian duties, or, so to speak, to cast a +single grain of the good seed into the hearts of those to whom I am +privileged to write. The calls of religion are, indeed, strong upon +us, if we permitted ourselves to listen to them as we ought. Will your +lordship then pardon me for reminding you, that, however humble the +instrument, I have before now been the honored means of setting your +godly examples of charity before the world, with the single-hearted +purpose and hope that it might imitate your virtues. There is in the +neighborhood a case at present of great distress, in the person of a +widow and her three young children, who have been left destitute by the +guilt and consequent deportation of her unhappy husband to Australia, +for the crime of feloniously abstracting live mutton. I defended him +professionally, or, I should say--although I do not boast of it--with an +eye to the relief of his interesting wife, but without success; and what +rendered his crime more unpardonable, he had the unparalleled wickedness +to say, that he was instigated to it by the ill-advice and intemperate +habits of this amiable woman. Will your lordship, then, allow me to put +your honored name in the list of her Christian friends? Allow me, my +Lord, to subscribe myself, + +“Your lordship's frail, unworthy, +“But faithful and honored servant, +“Solomon M'Slime.” + +“P.S.--With respect to your jocose and ironical postscript, may I again +take the liberty of throwing in a word in season. If your lordship could +so far assume a proper Christian seriousness of character, as to render +the act of kindness and protection on your part such as might confer a +competent independence upon a female of religious dispositions, I doubt +not, should your lordship's charity continue unabated on your arrival +here, that some such desirable opportunity might offer, as that of +rescuing a comely but desolate maiden from distress. + +“There is, indeed, a man here living on your lordship's property, who +has a daughter endowed with a large portion of that vain gift called +beauty. Her father and family are people of bad principle, without +conscience or honesty, and, withal, utterly destitute of religion--not +but that they carry themselves very plausibly to the world. Among such +people, my Lord, it is not possible that this engaging damsel, who is +now so youthful and innocent, could resist the evil influence of the +principles that prevail in her family. Indeed, her abiding among them +cannot be for her welfare in any sense. + +“I have the honor, &c.” + + +Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to Solomon M'Slime. + +“My dear M'Slime: + +“As it is beyond any doubt, that in the fair discharge of our duty, you +and I can be mutually serviceable to each other; and as it is equally +evident that it is our interest, and what is more, the interest of Lord +Cumber, that we should be so, I therefore think it right to observe, +that in all transactions between us, each should treat the other with +the most perfect confidence. For this reason, I beg to assure you, once +for all, that in any proceeding that may appear harsh towards any of +his lordship's tenantry, I am and shall be actuated by no other feeling, +than a strong, conscientious sense of my duty to him. This is, was, and +will bo the principle of my whole life. And you know very well, my dear +M'Slime, that if I were less devoted to those interests than I am, my +popularity would be greater among the tenantry. Indeed, few men have +a right to know this better than yourself, inasmuch as you stand in +precisely the same beloved relation to them that I do. + +“Our excellent friend Hickman is a very worthy man and exceedingly well +meaning. Don't you think so? Oh, I am sure you do. Yet I know not how +it happened that he left out of his system of agency some of the most +valuable rights and privileges of the landlord. These I will mention to +you when I see you, and when I have more time. I consequently must +say, that in attempting to revive these rights, even while I was +deputy-agent, the unjust odium that is falling upon me already, even +while I had scarce time to move in them, ought rather to be--that is +morally speaking--visited upon him who allowed them to lapse. Now that +the fine old leases of the M'Loughlins and the Harmans, and others, have +dropped, what can I do but study Lord Cumber's interest, in the first +instance? Not but I would serve them if I could, and will if I can. I +bear them no ill-feeling; and if they have joined in the calumnies and +threats that are so unjustly uttered against me, what can I do, and +what ought I do, but return good for evil? You, as a truly religious and +pious man, will feel delighted to support me in this principle, and also +to aid me in bearing it practically out. Any services of a similar kind +that I can honestly and conscientiously render you--and none other would +you accept--I shall be on my part delighted to offer. In the meantime, +let me have your excellent advice as to the most efficient means of +stifling the unreasonable murmurs that are rising among the people--and +as touching M'Loughlin's and Harman's properties, I should be glad to see +you, in order to consult upon what may or can be done for them, always +compatibly with Lord Cumber's interests. + +“The pair of turkies which I send you are the result of my reviving one +of his lordship's rights. They are _duty-turkies_, and I do not think +they will eat the worse for the blessings which Darby O'Drive tells me +accompanied them; at least I don't find they do. + +“All that I have yet written, however, is only preliminary; but now to +business. I have received the letter which Lord Cumber transmitted to +me, under your frank, in which I am appointed his head agent. He also is +willing to accept the two thousand pounds on my own terms--that is, of +course, as a loan, at the usual rate of interest. But don't you think, +my dear M'Slime, that with respect to this large sum, an understanding +might be entered into--or rather an arrangement made, in a quiet way, +that would, I flatter myself, turn out of great ultimate advantage to +his lordship. The truth is, that Lord Cumber, like most generous men, is +very negligent of his own interests--at least much more so than he ought +to be; and it would be most beneficial to him, in every sense, to have +a person managing his estates, in the best possible condition to serve +him. His property, in fact, is not represented in the grand jury panel +of the county. This is a great loss to him--a serious loss. In the first +place, it is wretchedly, shamefully deficient in roads--both public and +private. In the next place, there are many rents left unpaid, through +the inability of the people, which we could get paid by the making of +these roads, and other county arrangements, which the ill-thinking call +jobs. In the third and last place, he has on his property no magistrate +friendly to his aforesaid interests, and who would devote himself +to them with suitable energy and zeal. Indeed, with regard to the +murmurings and heart-burnings alluded to, I fear that such a magistrate +will soon become a matter of necessity. There is a bad spirit rising and +getting abroad, wherever it came from--and you know, my dear M'Slime, +that it could not proceed from either you or me. You know that--you +feel it. Now, what I would propose is this--Lord Cumber has +sufficient interest with the government, to have me--all-unworthy as +I am--appointed a magistrate. Let the government but hint to the +chancellor, and the thing is done. In that event, instead of giving him +this large sum of money as a loan, let it go as a _per contra_ to my +appointment to the bench. And there is another consideration by no means +to be overlooked, which is, that by this arrangement the government +would be certain to have in the commission a man who would prove himself +one of the precise class which they stand in need of--that is, a useful +man, devoted to their wishes. + +“Now, my dear M'Slime, I mention this to you with all the confidence +of unshaken friendship. From you these representations will go to his +lordship with a much better grace than they would from me. Tell him +in your own peculiar way, that he shall have the two thousand for the +magistracy. That is my first object as his friend--this once obtained, +I have no doubt of seeing myself, ere long, a member of the grand panel, +and capable of serving him still more extensively. + +“Believe me to be, +“My dear M'Slime, &c, +“Valentine M'Clutchy. + +“P.S.--I heard you once express a wish about a certain farm--but mum's +the word--only this, I have something in my eye for you.” + + +Solomon M'Slime to the Right Hon. Lord Cumber:-- + +“My Gracious Lord: + +“I, of course, cannot look upon the condition you annex to the +appointment of the agent as unreasonable, although my friend M'Clutchy +insists, he says, for the honor of the aristocracy, that it was a +mistake on your lordship's part, and that a loan only was meant. Be this +as it may, I humbly hope a thought has been vouchsafed to me, by which +the matter may, under Providence, assume a more agreeable character for +all parties. Last night, my Lord, immediately after family worship, I +found myself much refreshed in mind, but rather jaded in my poor sinful +body, after the fatigues of the day--for, indeed, I had ridden a good +deal since morning. However, I desired Susanna--a pious young person, +who acts as children's maid, and understands my habits--to procure me +a little hot water and sugar, into which, out of a necessary regard for +health, which is imposed as a duty on us all, I poured a little brandy, +partly for sustainment and partly to qualify the water. Having swallowed +a little of this I found the two principles combine together, almost +like kindred spirits, and consequently experienced both nourishment and +edification from the draught. It was then, my Lord, that it was given me +to turn my mind upon the transaction alluded to, I mean the condition of +paying two thousand pounds for the privilege of managing your property. +Indeed the thing was vouchsafed to me in this light;--your property, +my Lord, is not represented in the grand panel of the county, which is +certainly a serious loss to you, as there is no one here to advocate +your interests, especially since poor Mr. Deaker's infirmities (would +that they were all only of the body!) have caused him to attend the +grand jury less frequently. Many arrangements might be advantageously +made, by which your lordship would indirectly benefit;--that is, the +money, so to speak, might be made to go into one pocket, in order that +it should be transferred to yours. Then you have not; a magistrate in +your estates devoted to your special interests, as you ought to have; +this is a very necessary thing, my Lord, and to which I humbly endeavor +to direct your attention. Again, my Lord, you have no magistrate of +true Protestant and Ascendancy principles, who from time to time, might +manifest to the government that you did not forget their interests +no more than your own. Now, my Lord, what man can be, or is better +qualified to serve your Lordship in all these capacities than that +staunch and unflinching Protestant, Mr. Val M'Clutchy? In what +individual could the commission of the peace more appropriately or +worthily rest than in your own agent? I therefore beg your lordship to +turn this in your mind, and if advised by one so humble, I would suggest +the trial of a short prayer previous to entering on it. Should you exert +your influence for that purpose with the government, the gracious, I +trust I may call it so--appointment--would be immediately made, and I +think I know the grateful disposition of Mr. M'Clutchy sufficiently well +to assure your lordship, that from a thorough Christian sense of your +kindness, the two thousand pounds will be, on that condition, placed in +your lordship's hands. + +“I have the honor to be, my Lord, +“Solomon M'Slime. + +“P.S. Mr. M'Clutchy is ignorant that a suggestion so well calculated +to advance the best interests of general religion, has been graciously +intimated to one so unworthy as I am.” + + +Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq:-- + +“It is done--a bargain--I have arranged the business here with the +secretary, and am obliged to you, my sleek little saint, for suggesting +it; I wonder M'Clutchy himself did not think of it. I feel glad the old +leases have dropped, for I am sure, that between you and him, you will +take out of these farms all that can be taken. Of course M'Clutchy and +you are at liberty to revive anything you like, provided it be done +properly. What is it to me, who never go there? I do believe Hickman +was not merely an easy fellow, but a fool; as to _glove-money-- +Healing-money--duty-fowls--and duty-work_--I tell you again, provided +you increase my remittances, and work the cash out of these fellows, you +may insist upon as many of them as you can get. + +“Yours, + +“CUMBER. + +“P.S.--What, my little saint, did you mean by that charitable blunder, +concerning the widow, in your last letter? I never knew before that +a woman was a widow merely because her husband was transported, as he +ought to be, for sheep stealing, or because he happened to live, by +compulsion, in another country. However, no matter; give her, for me, +whatever you think proper, and add it to your bill of costs, as you will +do. + +“Cumber.” + + +Solomon M'Slime, Esq., to Lord Cumber:-- + +“My Gracious Lord: + +“As I have never intentionally varied from truth, I could not bear +even for a moment to seem to fall into the opposite principle. I was +certainly very busy on the day I had the honor and privilege of writing +to your lordship, and much distressed both in mind and heart, by the +woeful backsliding of a member of our congregation. On looking over the +copy of the letter, however, I perceive one thing that is gratifying +to me. My Lord, I made no mistake. It is not, perhaps, known to your +Lordship that there are two descriptions of widows--the real and +the vegetable; that is, the widow by death, and the widow by local +separation from her husband. Indeed the latter is a class that requires +as much sustainment and comfort as the other--being as they are, more +numerous, and suffering all the privations of widowhood, poor things, +except its reality. The expression, my Lord, is figurative, and taken +from the agricultural occupation of ploughing; for whenever one animal +is unyoked for any other purpose, such as travelling a journey or the +like, the other is forthwith turned into some park or grassy paddock, +and indeed generally enjoys more comfortable times than if still with +the yoke-fellow; for which reason the return of the latter is seldom +very earnestly desired by the other. I am happy to tell you, my Lord, +that some very refreshing revivals in the religious world have recently +occurred here, such as I trust will cause true religion to spread and be +honored in the land; but on the other hand, I fear that Satan is at work +among many evil designing persons on your Lordship's inheritance in this +our neighborhood. Of this, however, that good and conscientious man +Mr. M'Clutchy, will, I doubt not, give you all proper information and +advice. + +“I have the honor to be, my Lord with profound humility, +“Your Lordship's unworthy servant, +“Solomon M'Slime.” + + +Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., J. P., to Lord Cumber:-- + +“My Lord: + +“In point of fact, nothing could be more beneficial to your property, +than my very seasonable appointment to the commission of the peace. It +has extended my powers of working for your advantage, and armed me with +authority that will be found very necessary in repressing outrages and +disturbances when they occur; and I regret to say, that they are likely +to occur much too frequently. I should be sorry to doubt Mr. Hickman's +candor, but in spite of all my charity, I can scarcely avoid thinking +that he did not treat your Lordship with that openness of purpose and +confidence to which every landlord is entitled. Of course, I say this +with great pain, and rather between ourselves, as it were; for heaven +forbid, that a single syllable should escape either my tongue or pen, +that might injure that gentleman's character. The path of duty, however, +is often a stern one, as I find it to be on the present occasion. The +truth, then, is, that I fear Mr. Hickman must have kept the disturbed +state of your tenantry from your Lordship's knowledge, owing probably to +a reluctance in exposing his own laxity of management. Indeed, I wish I +could with a conscientious sense of my duty to your Lordship end here, +so far as he is concerned. But under every circumstance, truth, and +honesty, and candor, will in the long run tell for themselves. It is an +unquestionable fact, then, that from whatever cause it may proceed, your +tenantry and he, ever since my appointment, have had much intercourse +of--not exactly a public---nor can I decidedly term it--a private +nature; and it is equally true, that in proportion as this intercourse +became extended and enlarged, so did the dissatisfaction of the people +increase, until they are now almost ripe for outrage. I have observed, +I think, that poor Hickman never was remarkable for strength of mind, +though not destitute of a certain kind of sagacity; and whether his +tampering--if it be tampering--with these people,--be the result of +a foolish principle of envy, or whether on the other hand, there is +anything political in it, I really cannot say. All I can do is to +state the facts, and leave the inference to your lordship's superior +penetration. + +“If, however, it be the fact, that Hickman could stop to foment this +unhappy feeling on your property, still, my Lord, he is not alone in +it. Indeed it is possible that the intercourse between him and them may +after all be innocent, however suspicions it looks, I trust and hope it +is so--for there are two other families in the neighborhood, who, to +my certain knowledge, have, by diffusing wicked and disloyal principles +among the tenantry, done incalculable injury. I had indeed some notion +of communicating with government on the subject, but I have not as yet +been able to get any information sufficiently tangible to work on. In +the meantime, I think the wisest and most prudent steps I could take for +your Lordship's advantage, would be to get them as quietly as possible +off the estate. I think, from a twofold sense of duty, I shall be forced +to do so. Their leases very fortunately have dropped in the first place, +and it will not be your interest to renew them on political grounds; +for they have lately expressed a determination to vote against your +brother--and in the next, we can get much larger fines from other +sources. Besides his large farm, one of these men, M'Loughlin, holds +a smaller one of eighteen acres, of which there are fifteen years yet +unexpired, yet on consulting with Mr. M'Slime, and examining the lease, +he is of opinion that it contains a flaw, and can be broken. I am sure, +my lord, for your sake I shall be glad of it. + +“I cannot conclude without feeling grateful to Heaven for having given +me such a son as I am blessed with. He is, indeed, quite invaluable to +me in managing these refractory people, and were it not for his aid +and vigor, I could not have been able to send your lordship the last +remittance. He is truly zealous in your cause, but I regret to say, that +I am not likely to be able to avail myself long of his services. He is +about taking a large farm in a different part of the country with a view +to marriage, a circumstance which just now occasions me much anxiety of +mind, as he will be a serious loss to both your lordship and me. I +am also looking out for an under agent, but cannot find one to my +satisfaction. Will your lordship be kind enough to acknowledge the +remittance of last week? + +“I have the honor to be, my lord, +“Val M'C.” + + +Lord Cumber to Val M'C, Esq.:-- + +“Dear Sir: + +“The check came safely to hand, and seasonably, and the oftener I +receive such communications the better. The best part of it, however, is +gone to the devil already, for I lost six hundred on Alley Croker at the +last Ascot meeting; I write in a hurry, but have time to desire you to +keep your son, if possible, on the property. By the way, as the under +agency is vacant, I request you will let him have it--and, if he wants a +farm to marry on, try and find him one somewhere on the estate: who +has a better right? and, I dare say, he will make as good a tenant as +another. As to Hickman, I think you are quite mistaken, the truth being +that he resigned, but was not dismissed the agency, and if he has not +a wish to get himself replaced--which I do not think--I don't know what +the deuce he should begin to plot about. I rather think the cause of +complaint amongst the people is, that they find some difference between +his laxity and your rigor; if so, you must only let them growl away, and +when, ever they resort to violence, of course punish them. + +“Very truly yours, +“Cumber.” + +“P.S.--By all means get those mischievous fellows--I forget their +names--off the property, as I shall have no tenant under me who will +create disturbance or sow dissension among the people. I thank you +for the fine hamper of fowl, and have only to say, as above, that the +oftener, &c, &c. + +“Cumber.” + + + + +CHAPTER VII.--Reflections on Absenteeism + +--Virtues of a Loyal Magistrate--A Small Dose of Flattery--A Brace of +Blessings--Darby has Notions of becoming a Convert--Hints to a Trusty +Bailiff, with a Bit of Mystery--Drum Dhu, and the Comforts of Christmas +Eve--An Extermination. + +One of the greatest curses attending absenteeism is the facility +with which a dishonest and oppressive agent can maintain a system of +misrepresentation and falsehood, either to screen his own delinquency or +to destroy the reputation of those whom he hates or fears. An absentee +landlord has no guarantee beyond the honor and integrity of the man to +whom he entrusts the management of his property, and consequently he +ought to know that his very residence abroad presents strong temptations +to persons, who, in too many instances, are not possessed of any +principle strong enough to compete with their rapacity or cruelty. +Valentine M'Clutchy was one of those fellows in whom the heart was +naturally so hard and selfish that he loved both wealth and the +infliction of oppression, simply on account of the pleasure which they +afforded him. To such a man, and they formed too numerous a class, the +estate of an absentee landlord presented an appropriate, and generally +a safe field for action. The great principle of his life was, in every +transaction that occurred, to make the interest of the landlord on one +hand, and of the tenant on the other, subservient to his own. This was +their rule, and the cunning and adroitness necessary to carry it into +practical effect, were sometimes scarcely deemed worth concealment, so +strong was their sense of impunity, and their disregard of what seldom +took place--retribution. Indeed, the absence of the landlord gave +them necessarily, as matters were managed, an unlimited power over the +people, and gratified that malignant vigilance which ever attends upon +suspicion and conscious guilt. Many of the tenants, for instance, +when driven to the uttermost depths of distress and misery, have been +desperate enough to appeal to the head landlords, and almost in every +case the agent himself was enabled to show them their own letters, which +the absentee had in the meantime transmitted to the identical party +whose tyranny had occasioned them. + +The appointment of Phil to the under agency was felt even more strongly +than the removal of Mr. Hickman or Val's succession to that gentleman; +for there was about honest Val something which the people could not +absolutely despise. His talents for business, however, prostituted as +they were to such infamous purposes, only rendered him a greater +scourge to the unhappy tenantry over whom he was placed. As for Phil, he +experienced at their hands that combined feeling of hatred and contempt +with which we look upon a man who has every disposition to villany but +not the ability to accomplish its purposes in a masterly manner. + +Val's promotion to the Bench did not occasion so much surprise as might +be supposed. It is well known, that every such scoundrel, however he may +disregard the opinions of the people whom he despises, leaves nothing +undone that either meanness or ingenuity can accomplish to sustain a +plausible character with the gentry of the neighborhood. In the times of +which we write, the great passport to popularity among one party was the +expression of strong political opinions. For this reason, Val, who was +too cunning to neglect any subordinate aid to his success in life, had +created for himself a certain description of character, which in a great +degree occasioned much of his dishonesty and oppression to be overlooked +or forgiven. Like his father, old Deaker, he was a furious Orangeman, +of the true, loyal, and Ascendancy class--drank the glorious, pious, +and immortal memory every day after dinner--was, in fact, master of an +Orange Lodge, and altogether a man of that thorough, staunch, Protestant +principle, which was then, as it has been since, prostituted to the +worst purposes. For this reason, he was looked upon, by those of his own +class not so much as a heartless and unscrupulous knave, as a good sound +Protestant, whose religion and loyalty were of the right kidney. In +accordance with these principles, he lost no time in assuming the +character of an active useful man, who considered it the most important +part of his duty to extend his political opinions by every means in his +power, and to discountenance, in all shapes and under all circumstances, +such as were opposed to them. For this purpose, there was only one +object left untried and unaccomplished; but time and his undoubted +loyalty soon enabled him to achieve it. Not long after his appointment +to the agency, he began to experience some of these uneasy sensations +which a consciousness of not having deserved well at the hands of the +people will occasion. The man, as we have said, was a coward at heart; +but like many others of the same class, he contrived on most occasions +to conceal it. He now considered that it would, at all events, be a safe +and prudent act on his part to raise a corps of yeomanry, securing +a commission in it for himself and Phil. In this case he deemed it +necessary to be able to lay, before government such satisfactory proofs +as would ensure the accomplishment of his object, and at the same time +establish his own loyalty and devotion to the higher powers. No man +possessed the art of combining several motives, under the simple guise +of one act, with greater skill than M'Clutchy. For instance, he had an +opportunity of removing from the estate as many as possible of those +whom he could not reckon on for political support. Thus would he, in the +least suspicious manner, and in the very act of loyalty, occasion +that quantity of disturbance just necessary to corroborate his +representations to government--free property from disaffected persons, +whose consciences were proof against both his threats and promises--and +prove to the world that Valentine M'Clutchy was the man to suppress +disturbance, punish offenders, maintain peace, and, in short, exhibit +precisely that loyal and truly Protestant spirit which the times +required, and which, in the end, generally contrived to bring its own +reward along with it. + +One evening, about this period, our worthy agent was sitting in his back +parlor, enjoying with Phil the comforts of a warm tumbler of punch, when +the old knock already described was heard at the hall door. + +“How the devil does that rascal contrive to give such a knock?” said +Phil--“upon my honor and reputation, father, I could know it out of a +thousand.” + +“It's very difficult to say,” replied the other; “but I agree with you +in its character--and yet, I am convinced that Master Darby by no means +entertains the terror of me which he affects. However, be this as it +may, he is invaluable for his attachment to our interests, and the trust +which we can repose in him. I intend to make him a sergeant in our new +corps--and talking of that, Phil, you are not aware that I received this +morning a letter from Lord Cumber, in which he thanks me for the hint, +and says he will do everything in his power to forward the business. I +have proposed that he shall be colonel, and that the corps be named the +Castle Cumber Yeomanry. I shall myself be captain and paymaster, and you +shall have a slice of something off it, Phil, my boy.” + +“I have no objection in life,” replied Phil, “and let the slice be a +good one; only I am rather quakerly as to actual fighting, which may God +of his infinite mercy prevent!” + +“There will be no fighting, my hero,” replied the father, laughing; +“if there were, Phil, I would myself rise above all claims for military +glory; but here there will be nothing but a healthy chase across the +country after an occasional rebel or whiteboy, or perhaps the seizing of +a still, and the capture of many a keg of neat poteen, Phil--eh? What do +you say to that my boy?” + +“I have no objection to that,” said Phil, “provided everything is done +in an open, manly manner--in broad day-light. These scoundrel whiteboys +have such devilish good practice at hedge-firing, that I have already +made up my mind to decline all warfare that won't be sanctioned by the +sun. I believe in my soul they see better without light than with it, so +that the darkness which would be a protection to them, could be none to +me.” + +At this moment, a tap--such as a thief would give when ascertaining +if the master of the house were asleep, in order that he might rob +him--came to the door, and upon being desired to “come in and be d----d” + +Darby entered. + +“You're an hour late, you scoundrel,” said Val; “what have you to say +for yourself?” + +“Yes,” added Phil, who was a perfect Achilles to every bailiff and +driver on the estate--“what have you to say for yourself? If I served +you right, upon my honor and reputation, I would kick you out. I would, +you scoundrel, and I ought.” + +“I know you ought, squire, for I desarve it; but, any how, sure it was +the floods that sent me round. The stick was covered above three feet, +and I had to go round by the bridge. Throth his honor there ought to +make the Grand Jury put a bridge acrass it, and I wish to goodness, +Square Phil, you would spake to him to get them to do it next summer.” + +When Solomon said, that all was vanity and vexation of spirit, we hope +he did not mean that the two terms were at all synonymous; because, if +he did, we unquestionably stand prepared to contest his knowledge of +human nature, despite both his wisdom and experience. Darby's reply was +not a long one, but its effect was powerful. The very notion that Val +M'Clutchy could, should, might, or ought to have such influence over the +Grand Jury of the county was irresistible with the father; and that he +should live to be actually called squire, nay to hear the word with his +own ears, was equally so with the son. + +Vanity! What sensation can the hearts of thousands--millions feel, that +ought for a moment be compared, in an ecstatic sense of enjoyment, with +those which arise from gratified vanity? + +“Come, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits--the night's +severe,” said Val. + +“Yes, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits, and we'll see +what can be done about the bridge before next winter,” added Phil. + +“All I can say is, gintlemen,” said Darby, “that if you both take it +up, it will be done. In the mane time, here's both your healths, +your honors; an' may you both be spared on the property, as a pair of +blessins to the estate!” Then, running over to Phil, he whispered in +a playhouse voice--“Square Phil, I daren't let his honor hear me now, +but--here's black confusion to Hickman, the desaver!” + +“What is he saying, Phil? What is the cursed sneaking scoundrel saying?” + +“Why your honor,” interposed Darby, “I was axin' permission jist to add +a thrifle to what I'm goin' to drink.” + +“What do you mean?” said Val. + +“Just, your honor, to drink the glorious, pious, and immoral mimory! +hip, hip, hurra!” + +“And how can you drink it, you rascal, and you a papist?” asked Phil, +still highly delighted with Darby's loyalty. “What would your priest say +if he knew it?” + +“Why,” said Darby, quite unconscious of the testimony he was bearing to +his own duplicity, “sure they can forgive me that, along with my other +sins. But, any how, I have a great notion to leave them and their +ralligion altogether.” + +“How is that, you scoundrel?” asked Val. + +“Yes, you scoundrel; how is that?” added Phil. + +“Why, troth,” replied Darby, “I can't well account for it myself, +barrin' it comes from an enlightened conscience. Mr. M'Slime gave me a +tract, some time ago, called Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace, and I +thought in my own conscience, afther readin' it carefully over, that it +applied very much to my condition.” + +“Ah!” said Phil, “what a babe you are! but no matter; I'm glad you +have notions of becoming a good sound Protestant; take my word there's +nothing like it. A man that's a good sound Protestant is always a loyal +fellow, and when he's drunk, drinks--to hell with the Pope.” + +“Phil, don't be a fool,” said his father, who inherited many, if not +all of old Deaker's opinions. “If you are about to become a +Protestant, Darby, that's a very different thing from changing your +religion--inasmuch as you must have one to change first. However, as you +say, M'Slime's your man, and be guided by him.” + +“So I intend, sir; and he has been spakin' to me about comin' forrid +publicly, in regard of an intention he has of writin' a new tract +consarning me, to be called the Converted Bailiff, or a Companion to +the Religious Attorney; and he says, sir, that he'll get us bound up +together.” + +“Does he?” said Val, dryly; “strung up, I suppose he means.” + +“Troth your honor's right,” replied Darby; “but my own mimory isn't what +it used to be--it was strung up he said, sure enough, sir.” + +“Very well,” said Val, “but now to business. Phil, my boy, you move off +for a little--Darby and I have a small matter to talk over, that nobody +must hear but ourselves.” + +“All right,” replied Phil; “so take care of yourselves;” and accordingly +left the room. + +Now the truth was, that M'Clutchy, who perfectly understood the +half-witted character of his son--for be it known that worthy Phil was +considered by those who had the honor of his acquaintance, as anything +but an oracle--did not feel himself justified in admitting the said Phil +to full confidence in all his plans and speculations. + +“You see now,” said he, addressing Darby sternly--“you see the opinion +which I entertain of your honesty, when I trust you more than I do my +son.” + +“Troth I do your honor--and by the same token did I ever betray you?” + +“Betray, you scoundrel! what had you to betray?” said Val indignantly, +whatever I do is for the benefit of the country in general, and for Lord +Cumber's property in particular: you know that.” + +“Know it! doesn't the whole world know it, sir?” + +“Well, then”--said Val, softening---“now to business. In the first place +observe my words--listen.” + +Darby said nothing, but looked at him in the attitude of deep and +breathless attention. + +“Whenever you happen to execute a warrant of distress--that is, when +removing furniture or any other property off the premises, keep a sharp +look out for any papers or parchments that happen to come in your way. +It would do no harm if you should slip them quietly into your pocket and +bring them to me. I say quietly, because there is a spirit abroad among +the people that we must watch; but if they once suspected that we were +on the look out for it, they might baffle us; these papers, you know can +be returned.” + +“I see, your honor,” said Darby--“there you are right, as, indeed, you +always are.” + +“Very well, then. Is the night dark and stormy?” + +“So dark, sir, that a blind man could see it.” + +Val then approached the bailiff, looked cautiously about the +room--opened the door, and peeped into the hall; after which he +returned, and placing about half-a-dozen written papers in his hand, +whispered something to him with great earnestness and deliberation. +Darby heard him with profound attention, nodded his head significantly +as he spoke, and placed the point of his right hand fore-finger on the +papers, as if he said, “I see--I understand--I am to do so and so with +these; it's all clear--all right, and it shall be done before I sleep.” + +The conversation then fell into its original channel, and Phil was +summoned, in order to receive his instructions touching a ceremony which +was to take place on the following day but one; which ceremony simply +consisted in turning out upon the wide world, without house, or home, or +shelter, about twenty three families, containing among them the young, +the aged, the sick, and the dying--but this is a scene to which we must +beg the reader's more particular attention. + +There stood, facing the west, about two miles from Constitution Cottage, +an irregular string of cabins, with here and there something that might +approach the comfortable air of a middle size house. The soil on which +they stood was an elevated moor, studded with rocks and small cultivated +patches, which the hard hand of labor had, with toil and difficulty, +worn from what might otherwise be called a cold, bleak, desert. The +rocks in several instances were overgrown with underwood and shrubs +of different descriptions, which were browsed upon by meagre and +hungry-looking goats, the only description of cattle that the poverty +of these poor people allowed them to keep, with the exception of two +or three families, who were able to indulge in the luxury of a cow. In +winter it had an air of shivering desolation that was enough to chill +the very blood, even to think of; but in summer, the greenness of the +shrubs, some of which were aromatic and fragrant, relieved the dark, +depressing spirit which seemed to brood upon it. This little colony, +notwithstanding the wretchedness of its appearance, was not, however, +shut out from a share of human happiness. The manners of its inhabitants +were primeval and simple, and if their enjoyments were few and limited, +so also were their desires. God gave them the summer breeze to purify +their blood, the sun of heaven to irradiate the bleakness of their +mountains, the morning and evening dressed in all their beauty, and +music of their mountain streams, and that of the feathered songsters, to +enliven their souls with its melody. The voices of spring, of summer, of +autumn, were cheerful in their ears as the voices of friends, and even +winter, with all his wildness and desolation, was not without a grim +complacence which they loved. They were a poor, harmless, little +community, so very humble and inoffensive, as to be absolutely beneath +the reach of human resentment or injustice. Alas! they were not so. + +The cause of the oppression which was now about to place them in its +iron grasp, was as simple as it was iniquitous. They refused to vote for +Lord Cumber's brother, and were independent enough to respect the rights +of conscience, in defiance of M'Clutchy's denunciations. They had voted +for the gentleman who gave them employment, and who happened besides, to +entertain opinions which they approved. M'Clutchy's object was to remove +them from the property, in order that he might replace them with a more +obedient and less conscientious class; for this was his principle of +action under such circumstances. + +It so happened that there lived among them a man named O'Regan, who, +in point of comfort, was at the head of this little community. He was a +quiet and an affectionate individual, industrious, sober, and every way +well conducted. This inoffensive and virtuous man, and Iris faithful +wife, had been for some time before the period we are describing, +under the shadow of deep affliction. Their second child, and his little +brother, together with the eldest, who for two or three years before had +been at service in England, were all that had been spared to them--the +rest having died young. This second boy was named Torley, and him they +loved with an excess of tenderness and affection that could scarcely be +blamed. The boy was handsome and manly, full of feeling, and possessed +of great resolution and courage; all this, however, was ultimately of +no avail in adding to the span of the poor youth's life. One day in the +beginning of autumn, he overloaded himself with a log of fir which +he had found in the moors; having laid it down to rest, he broke a +blood-vessel in attempting to raise it to his shoulder the second time: +he staggered home, related the accident as it had occurred, and laid +himself down gently upon his bed. Decline then set in, and the +handsome and high-spirited Torley O'Regan, lay patiently awaiting his +dissolution, his languid eye dim with the shadow of its approach. From +the moment it was ascertained that his death, early and unexpectedly, +was known to be certain, the grief of his parents transcended the bounds +of ordinary sorrow. It was indeed, a distressing thing to witness their +sufferings, and to feel, in the inmost chambers of the heart, the awful +wail of their desolation and despair. + +Winter had now arrived in all its severity, and the very day selected +for the removal of these poor people was that which fills, or was +designed to fill, every Christian heart with hope, charity, affection +for our kind, and the innocent enjoyment of that festive spirit which +gives to the season a charm that throws the memory back upon the +sweetest recollections of life--I mean Christmas eve. The morning, +however, was ushered in by storm. There had been above a fortnight's +snow, accompanied by hard frost, and to this was added now the force +of a piercing wind, and a tremendous down pouring of hard dry drift, +against which it is at any time almost impossible even to walk, unless +when supported by health, youth, and uncommon strength. + +In O'Regan's house there was, indeed, the terrible union of a most +bitter and twofold misery. The boy was literally dying, and to this was +added the consciousness that M'Clutchy would work his way in spite +of storm, tempest, and sickness, nay, even death itself. A few of the +inhabitants of the wild mountain village, which, by the way, was named +Drum Dhu, from its black and desolate look, had too much the fear of +M'Clutchy before their eyes, to await his measures, and accordingly +sought out some other shelter. It was said, however, and generally +supposed, by several of the neighboring gentry, that even M'Clutchy +himself would scarcely dare to take such a step, in defiance of common +humanity, public opinion, and the laws both of God and--we were about +to add--man, but the word cannot be written. Every step he took was +strictly and perfectly legal, and the consequence was, that he had that +strong argument, “I am supporthed by the, laws of the land,” to enable +him to trample upon all the principles of humanity and justice--to +gratify political rancor, personal hatred, to oppress, persecute, and +ruin. + +Removal, however, in Torley O'Regan's case, would have been instant +death. Motion or effort of any kind were strictly forbidden, as was +conversation, except in the calmest and lowest tones, and everything +at at all approaching to excitement. Still the terror lest this inhuman +agent might carry his resolution into effect on such a day, and under +such circumstances, gave to their pitiable sense of his loss a dark and +deadly hue of misery, at which the heart actually sickens. From the hour +of nine o'clock on that ominous morning, the inhabitants of Drum Dhu +were passing, despite the storm, from cabin to cabin, discussing +the probable events of the day, and asking each other if it could be +possible that M'Clutchy would turn them out under such a tempest. Nor +was this all. The scene indeed was one which ought never to be witnessed +in any country. Misery in all its shapes was there--suffering in its +severest pangs--sickness--disease--famine--and death--to all which was +to be added bleak, houseless, homeless, roofless desolation. Had the +season been summer they might have slept in the fields, made themselves +temporary sheds, or carried their sick, and aged, and helpless, to +distant places where humanity might aid and relieve them. But no--here +were the elements of God, as it were, called in by the malignity and +wickedness of man to war against old age, infancy, and disease. + +For a day or two proceeding this, poor Torley thought he felt a little +better, that is to say, his usual symptoms of suffering were litigated, +as is sometimes the case when human weakness literally sinks below the +reach of pain itself. Ten o'clock had arrived and he had not yet awoke, +having only fallen asleep a little before daybreak. His father went +to his bed-side, and looking down saw that he was still asleep, with +a peaceful smile irradiating his features, as it were with a sense +of inward happiness and tranquility. He beckoned to his mother who +approached the bed, and contemplated him with that tearless agony which +sears the heart and brain, until the feeling would be gladly +exchanged for madness. The conversation which followed was in Irish, a +circumstance that accounts for its figurative style and tenderness of +expression. + +“What is that smile,” said the father. “It is the peace of God,” said +the mother, “shining from an innocent and happy heart. Oh! Torley, my +son, my son!” + +“Yes,” replied the father, “he is going to meet happy hearts, but he +will leave none in this house behind him--even little Brian that he +loved so well--but where was there a heart so loving as his?” This we +need scarcely observe, was all said in whispers. + +“Ah!” said the father, “you may well ask--but don't you remember this +day week, when we were talking of M'Clutchy--'I hope,' says he, 'that +if he should come, I'll be where no agent can turn me out--that is, in +heaven--for I wouldn't wish to live to see you both and little Brian +put from the place that we all loved so well--and then he wiped away the +tears from his pale cheeks.--Oh! Torley, my son--my son--are you laving +us! laving us forever?” + +The father sat down quietly on a chair, and put his hand upon his +forehead, as if to keep the upper part of his head from flying off--for +such, he said, were the sensations he felt. He then wrung his hands +until the joints cracked, and gave one short convulsive sob, which no +effort of his could repress. The boy soon afterwards opened his eyes, +and fixed them with the same peaceful and affectionate smile upon his +parents. + +“Torley,” said the mother, kissing him, “how do you feel, our flower?” + +“Aisier,” said he, “but I think weaker--I had a dream,” he continued; +“I thought I was looking in through a great gate at the most beautiful +place that ever was--and I said to myself, what country can that be, +that's so full of light, and music, and green trees, and beautiful +rivers? 'That is heaven,' said a sweet voice beside me, but I could +see no one. I looked again, and then I thought I saw my three little +brothers standin' inside the gate smilin'--and I said, 'ar'n't you my +brothers that died when you were young?' 'Yes,' said they, 'and we are +come to welcome you here.' I was then goin' to go in, when I thought I +saw my father and Brian runnun' hand in hand towards the gate, and as' I +was goin' in I thought they called after me--'wait, Torley, dear, for we +will follow you soon.'” + +“And I hope we all will, our blessed treasure; for when you leave us, +son of our hearts, what temptation will we have to stay afther you? Your +voice, achora, will be in our ears, and your sweet looks in our eyes-- +but that is all that will be left of you--and your father and I will +never have a day's happiness more. Oh, never--never!” + +“You both know I wouldn't lave you if I could help it, but it's the will +of God that I should go; then when I'll be so happy, won't it take the +edge off your grief. Bring Brian here. He and I were all that was +left you, since Ned went to England--and now you will have only him. I +needn't bid you to love him, for I know that you loved both of us, may +be more than you ought, or more than I desarved; but not surely more +than Brian does. Brian, my darling, come and kiss your own Torley that +keept you sleeping every night in his bosom, and never was properly +happy without you--kiss me when I can feel you, for I know that before +long, you will kiss me when I can't kiss you--Brian, my darling life, +how loth I am to lave you, and to lave you all, father--to lave you all, +mother.” + +As he spoke, and paused from time to time, the tumult of the storm +without, and the fury with which it swept against the roof, door, +and windows of the house, made a terrible diapason to the sweet and +affecting tone of feeling which pervaded the remarks of the dying +boy. His father, however, who felt an irrepressible dread of what was +expected to take place, started at the close of the last words, and +with a heart divided between the two terrors, stood in that stupefaction +which is only the resting-place of misery, where it takes breath and +strengthens itself for its greatest trials. Ho stood with one hand as +before, pressed upon his forehead, and pointed with the other to the +door. The wife, too, paused, for she could not doubt for a moment, that +she heard sounds mingling with those of the storm which belonged not to +it. It was Christmas eve! + +“Stop, Mary,” said he, the very current of his heart stilled--its +beating pulses frozen, as it were, by the terrible apprehension--“stop, +Mary; you can open the door, but in such a morning as this you couldn't +shut it, and the wind and drift would come in and fill the house, and +be the death of our boy. No, I must open the door myself, and it will +require all my strength to shut it.” + +“I hear it all, now,” said Torley, “the cries and the shouting, the +screechings and the--well, you need not be afeared; put poor Brian in +with me, for I know there is no Irishman but will respect a death-bed, +be it landlord, or agent, ay, or bailey. Oh, no, father, the hand of +God is upon us, and if they respect nothing else, they will surely respect +that. They won't move me, mother, when they see me; for that would kill +me--that would be to murder a dying man.” + +The father made no reply, but rushed towards the door, which he opened +and closed after him with more ease than he had expected. The storm, in +fact, was subsiding; the small hard drift had ceased, and it was evident +from the appearance of the sky that there was likely to be a change for +the better. + +It would, indeed, appear, as if the Divine Being actually restrained and +checked the elements, on witnessing the cruel, heartless, and oppressive +purposes of man. But, what a scene presented itself to O'Regan, on going +forth to witness the proceedings which were then about to take place on +this woeful day! + +Entering the northern end of this wild collection of sheelings was +seen a posse of bailiffs, drivers, constables, keepers, and all that +hard-hearted class of ruffians that constitute the staff of a land agent +upon occasions similar to this. Immediately behind these followed a body +of Orange yeomanry, dressed in regimentals, and with fire-arms--each +man carrying thirty rounds of ball cartridge. We say Orange yeomen +advisedly, because, at the period we speak of, Roman Catholics were not +admitted into the yeomanry, unless, perhaps, one in a corps; and even +out of ten corps, perhaps, you might not find the ten exceptions. When +we add to this the fact, that every Protestant young man was then +an Orangeman, and that a strong, relentless feeling of religious and +political hatred subsisted between them and the Catholic party, we think +that there are few, even among our strongest Conservatives, if any, +who would attempt to defend the inhuman policy of allowing one party of +Irishmen, stimulated by the worst passions, to be let loose thus armed +upon defenceless men, whom, besides, they looked upon and treated as +enemies. + +The men in question, who were known by the sobriquet of Deaker's +Dashers, were, in point of fact, the terror of every one in the country +who was not an Orangeman, no matter what his creed or conduct might +be. They were to a man guided by the true Tory principle, not only of +supporting Protestantism, but of putting down Popery; and yet, with +singular inconsistency, they were seldom or never seen within a church +door, all their religion consisting in giving violent and offensive +toasts, and their loyalty in playing party tunes, singing Orange songs, +meeting in Orange lodges, and executing the will of some such oppressor +as M'Clutchy, who was by no means an exaggerated specimen of the Orange +Tory. + +Deaker's Dashers were commanded on this occasion by a little squat +figure, all belly, with a short pair of legs at one end, and a little +red, fiery face, that looked as if it would explode--at the other. +The figure was mounted on horseback, and as it and its party gallantly +entered this city of cabins, it clapped its hands on its side, to +impress the enemy, no doubt, with a due sense of its military character +and prowess. Behind the whole procession, at a little distance, rode +M'Clutchy and M'Slime, graceful Phil having declined the honor of the +expedition altogether, principally, he said, in consequence of the +shortness of the days, and the consequent very sudden approach of night. +We cannot omit to state, that Darby O'Drive was full of consequence and +importance, and led on his followers, with a roll of paper containing +the list of fill those who were to be expelled, rolled up in his hand, +somewhat like a baton of office. Opposed to this display stood a crowd +of poor shivering wretches, with all the marks of poverty and struggle, +and, in many cases, of famine and extreme destitution, about them and +upon them. Women with their half starved children in their arms, many +of them without shoes or stockings--laboring care-worn men, their heads +bound up in cotton handkerchiefs, as intimating illness or recovery +from illness--old men bent over their staves, some with long white hair, +streaming to the breeze, and all with haggard looks of terror, produced +by the well known presence among them of Deaker's Dashers. + +And this was Christmas eve--a time of joy and festivity! + +Other features were also presented, which gave to this miserable scene +a still more depressing character. The voice of lamentation was loud, +especially from the females, both young and old--all of whom, with some +exceptions, were in tears. Many were rending their hair, others clapping +their hands in distraction--some were kneeling to Heaven to implore +its protection, and not a few to call down its vengeance upon their +oppressors. From many of the men, especially the young and healthy, +came stifled curses, and smothered determinations of deep and fearful +vengeance. Brows darkened, eyes gleamed, and teeth were ground with a +spirit that could neither be mistaken or scarcely condemned. M'Clutchy +was then sowing the wind; but whether at a future day to reap the +whirlwind, we are not now prepared to state. + +At length it was deemed time that the ceremony should commence; and +M'Clutchy, armed also with a case of pistols, rode up to Darby:-- + +“O'Drive, you scoundrel,” he shouted--for he saw his enemy, and got +courageous, especially since he had a body of his father's Dashers at +his back--“O'Drive, you scoundrel, do you mean to keep us here all +day? Why don't you commence? Whose is the first name on your list? +The ejectment must proceed,” addressing the poor people as much as +Darby--“it must proceed. Everything we do is by Lord Cumber's orders, +and strictly according to the law of the land. Every attempt at refusing +to give up peaceable possession, makes you liable to be punished; and +punished, by d--n you shall be.” + +“Do not swear, my dear friend,” interposed M'Slime; “swear not at all; +but let thy yea be yea, and thy nay, nay; for whatsoever is more than +this cometh of evil. My good friends,” he added, addressing himself to +the people, “I could not feel justified in losing this opportunity to +throw in a word in season for your sakes. I need scarcely tell you that +Mr. M'Clutchy, whose character for benevolence and humanity is perfectly +well known--and I would allude to his strong sense of religion, and its +practical influence on his conduct, were I not afraid of giving rise +to a feeling of spiritual pride in the heart of any fellow-creature, +however humble;--I need not tell you, I say, that he and I are here as +your true friends. I, a frail and unworthy sinner, avow myself as your +friend; at least, it is the most anxious and sincere wish of my heart +to do good to you; for, I trust I can honestly say, that I love my +Catholic--I mean my Roman Catholic friends, and desire to meet them in +the bonds of Christ. Yes, we are your friends. You know it is true +that God loveth whom he chasteneth, and that it is always good to +pass through the furnace of tribulation. What are we, then, but the +instruments of his chastisement of you, and of bringing you through that +furnace for your own good and for His honor! Be truly grateful, then, +for this instance of His interposition in your favor. It is only a +blessing in disguise; my friends--strongly disguised, I grant you--but +still a blessing. And now, my friends, to prove my own sincerity--my +affection, and, I trust, Christian interest in your welfare, I say unto +you, that if such among you as lack bread will come to me, when this +dispensation in your favor is concluded, I shall give them that which +will truly nourish them.” + +M'Clutohy could not stand this, but went down to the little squab +Dasher, who joined him in a loud fit of laughter at M'Slime's little +word in season; so that the poor dismayed people had the bitter +reflection to add to their other convictions, that their misery, their +cares, and their sorrows, were made a mockery of by those who were +actually inflicting them. + +“When Darby, on whose face there was a heartless smirk of satisfaction +at this opportunity of gratifying M'Clutchy, was about to enter the +first cabin, there arose from the trembling creatures a loud murmur of +wild and unregulated lamentation, which actually startled the bailiff's, +who looked as if they were about to be assaulted. An old man then +approached M'Clutchy, bent with age and infirmity, and whose white hair +hung far down, his shoulders-- + +“Sir,” said he, taking off his hat, and standing before him uncovered, +severe and still bitter as was the day--“I stand here in the name of +these poor creatures you see about us, to beg you, for the sake of +God--of Christ who redeemed us--and of the Holy Spirit that gives +kindness and charity to the heart--not on this blake hill undher sich +a sky, and on sich a day, to turn us out of the only shelter we have on +earth! There's people here that will die if they're brought outside +the door. We did not, at laist the most part of all you see before you, +think you had any thought of houldin' good your threat in such a time +of cowld, and storm, and disolation. Look at us, sir, then, have pity +on us! Make it your own case, if you can, and maybe that will bring our +destitution nearer you--and besides, sir, there's a great number of us +thought betther about votin' with you, and surely you won't think of +puttin' them out.” + +“It's too late now,” said M'Clutchy; “if you had promised me your votes +in time, it was not my intention to have disturbed you--at present I am +acting altogether by Lord Cumber's orders, who desires that every one +refusing to vote for him shall be made an example of, and removed from +the property--O'Drive, you scoundrel, do your duty.” + +At this moment there rushed forth from the again agitated crowd an old +woman, whose grizzled locks had escaped from under her dowd cap, and +were blown in confusion about her head; she wore a drugget gown that +had once been yellow, and a deep blue petticoat of the same stuff; a +circumstance, which, joined to the excitement, gave to her appearance a +good deal of picturesque effect. + + +“Low born tyrant,” she shouted, kneeling rapidly down and holding up her +clasped hands, but not in supplication--“low born, tyrant,” she shouted, +“stop;--spawn of blasphemin' Deaker, stop--bastard of the notorious Kate +Clank, hould your hand? You see we know you and yours well. You were a +bad son to a bad mother, and the curse of God will pursue you and +yours, for that and your other villanies. Go back and hould your hand, I +say--and don't dare to bring the vengeance of God upon you, for the plot +of hell you are about to work out this day. I know that plot. Be warned. +Look about you here, and think of what you're going to do. Have you +no feeling for ould and helpless age--for the weakness of women, the +innocence of children? Are you not afraid on such a day to come near +the bed of sickness, or the bed of death, with such an intention? Here's +widows and orphans, the sick and the dyin', ould age half dead, Mid +infancy half starved; and is it upon these, that you and blasphemin' +Deaker's bloody Dashers are goin' to work your will? Hould your hand, I +say, or if you don't, although I needn't curse you myself, for I am +too wicked for that--yet in the name of all these harmless and helpless +creatures before you, I call their curses on your head. In the name +of all the care, and pain, and sorrow, and starvation, and affliction, +that's now before your eyes, be you cursed in soul and body--in all you +touch--in all you love--cursed here, and cursed hereafter forever, if +you proceed in your wicked intentions this woeful day!” + +“Who is that mad-woman?” said M'Clutchy. “Let her be removed. All I can +say is, that she has taken a very unsuccessful method of staying the +proceedings.” + +“Who am I?” said she; “I will tell you that. Look at this,” she replied, +exposing her bosom; “these are the breasts that suckled you--between +them did you lie, you ungrateful viper! Yes, you may stare--it's many a +long year since the name of Kate Clank reached your ears, and now that +you have heard it, it is not to bless you. Well, you remember when you +heard it last--on the day you hunted your dogs at me, and threatened to +have me horse-whipped--ay, to horse-whip me with your own hands, should +I ever come near your cursed house. Now, you know who I am, and now I +have kept my word, which was never to die till I gave you a shamed face. +Kate Clank, your mother, is before you!” + +M'Clutchy took the matter very coolly certainly--laughed at her, and, in +a voice of thunder, desired the ejectments to proceed. + +But how shall we dwell upon this miserable work? The wailings and +screams, the solicitations for mercy, their prayers, their imprecations +and promises, were all sternly disregarded; and on went the justice of +law, accompanied by the tumult of misery. The old were dragged out--the +bedriden grand-mother had her couch of straw taken from under her. From +the house of death, the corpse of an aged female was carried out amidst +the shrieks and imprecations of both men and women! The sick child that +clung with faintness to the bosom of its distracted mother, was put out +under the freezing blast of the north; and on, on, onward, from house to +house, went the steps of law, accompanied still by the increasing tumult +of misery. This was upon Christmas eve--a day of “joy and festivity!” + +At length they reached O'Regan's,and it is not our intention to describe +the occurrence at any length. It could not be done. O'Regan clasped his +hands, so did his wife; they knelt--they wept--they supplicated. +They stated the nature of his malady--decline--from having ruptured a +blood-vessel. They ran to M'Clutchy, to M'Slime, to the squat figure +on horseback. They prayed to Darby, and especially entreated a ruffian +follower who had been remarkable for, and wanton in, his inhumanity, but +with no effect. Darby shook his head. + +“It couldn't be done,” said he. + +“No,” replied the other, whose name was Grimes, “we can't make any +differ between one and another--so out he goes.” + +“Father,” observed the meek boy, “let them. I will only be the sooner in +heaven.” + +He was placed sitting up in bed by the bailiff's, trembling in the cold +rush of the blast; but the moment the father saw their polluted and +sacrilegious hands upon him--he rushed forward accompanied by his +mother. + +“Stay,” he said, in a loud, hoarse voice, “since you will have him out, +let our hands, not yours, be upon him.” + +The ruffian told him they could not stand there all day, and without any +farther respect for their feelings, they rudely wrapped the bed-clothes +about him, and, carrying him out, he was placed upon a chair before the +door. His parents were immediately beside him, and took him now into +then own care; but it was too late--he smiled as he looked into their +faces, then looked at his little brother, and giving one long drawn +sigh, he passed, without pain or suffering, saving a slight shudder, +into happiness. O'Regan, when he saw that his noble and beloved boy was +gone, surrendered him into the keeping of his wife and other friends, +who prevented his body from falling off the chair. He then bent his eye +sternly upon the group of bailiffs, especially upon the rude ruffian, +Grimes, whose conduct was so atrocious. + +“Now listen,” said he, kneeling down beside his dead son--“listen all +of you that has wrought this murder of my dying boy! He is yet warm,” + he added, grinding his teeth and looking up to heaven, “and here beside +him, I pray, that the gates of mercy may be closed upon my soul through +sill eternity, if I die without vengeance for your death, my son!” + +His mother, who was now in a state between stupor and distraction, +exclaimed-- + +“To be sure, darling, and I'll assist you, and so will Torley.” + +The death of this boy, under circumstances of such incredible cruelty, +occasioned even M'Clutchy to relax something of his original intentions. +He persisted, however, in accomplishing all the ejectments without +exception, but when this was over, he allowed them to re-occupy their +miserable cabins, until the weather should get milder, and until such +of them as could, might be able to procure some other shelter for +themselves and families. + +When all was over, M'Slime, who had brought with him a sheaf of tracts +for their spiritual sustenance, saw, from the deeply tragic character +of the proceedings, that he might spare himself the trouble of such +Christian sympathy as he wished to manifest for their salvation. He +and M'Clutchy, to whom, by the way, he presented the truly spiritual +sustenance of some good brandy out of a flask, with which he balanced +the tracts in his other pocket, then took their way in the very centre +of the Dashers, leaving behind them all those sorrows of life, for +which, however, they might well be glad to exchange their consciences +and their wealth. + +The circumstances which we have just described, were too striking not to +excite considerable indignation among all reasonable minds at the time. +An account of that day's proceedings got into the papers, but was so +promptly and fully contradicted by the united testimony of M'Clutchy and +M'Slime, that the matter was made to appear very highly complimentary +to the benevolence and humanity of both. “So far from the proceedings in +question,” the contradiction went on to say, “being marked by the wanton +cruelty and inhumanity imputed to them, they were, on the contrary, as +remarkable for the kindness and forbearance evinced by Messrs. M'Clutchy +and M'Slime. The whole thing was a mere legal form, conducted in a most +benevolent and Christian spirit. The people were all restored to their +tenements the moment the business of the day was concluded, and we +cannot readily forget the admirable advice and exhortation offered to +them, and so appropriately offered by Solomon M'Slime, Esq., the truly +Christian and benevolent law agent of the property in question.” + +By these proceedings, however, M'Clutchy had gained Ms point, which was, +under the guise of a zealous course of public duty, to create a basis on +which to ground his private representations of the state of the country +to government. He accordingly lost no time in communicating on the +subject with Lord Cumber, who at once supported him in the project of +raising a body of cavalry for the better security of the public peace; +as, indeed, it was his interest to do, inasmuch, as it advanced his own +importance in the eye of government quite as much as it did M'Clutchy's. +A strong case was therefore made out by this plausible intriguer. In a +few days after the affair of Drum Dhu, honest Val contrived to receive +secret information of the existence of certain illegal papers which +clearly showed that there existed a wide and still spreading conspiracy +in the country. As yet, he said, he could not ground any proceeding of a +definite character upon them. + +The information, he proceeded to say, when writing to the Castle, which +came to him anonymously, was to the effect that by secretly searching +the eaves of certain houses specified in the communication received, he +would find documents, clearly corroborating the existence and design of +the conspiracy just alluded to. That he had accordingly done so, and +to his utter surprise, found that his anonymous informant was right. He +begged to enclose copies of the papers, together with the names of the +families residing in the houses where they were found. He did not like, +indeed, to be called a “Conspiracy hunter,” as no man more deprecated +their existence; but he was so devotedly attached to the interests of +his revered sovereign, and those of his government, that no matter at +what risk, either of person or reputation, he would never shrink from +avowing or manifesting that attachment to them. And he had the honor to +be, his very obedient servant. + +Valentine M'Clutohy, J.P. + +P.S.--He begged to enclose for his perusal a letter from his warm +friend, Lord Cumber, on the necessity, as he properly terms it, of +getting up a corps of cavalry, which is indeed a second thought, as +they would be much better adapted, upon long pursuits and under pressing +circumstances, for scouring the country, which is now so dreadfully +disturbed. And has once more the honor to be, Val M'C. + + +Representations like these, aided by that most foolish and besotted +tendency which so many of the ignorant and uneducated peasantry have of +entering into such associations, did not fail in working out M'Clutchy's +designs. Most of those in whose houses these papers were placed, fled +the country, among whom was O'Regan, whose dying son Deaker's Dashers +treated with such indefensible barbarity; and what made everything +appear to fall in with his good fortune, it was much about this period +that Grimes, the unfeeling man whom O'Regan appeared to have in his eye +when he uttered such an awful vow of vengeance, was found murdered not +far from his own house, with a slip of paper pinned to his coat, on +which were written, in a disguised hand the words--“Remember O'Regan's +son, and let tyrants tremble.” + +Many strong circumstances appeared to bring this murder home to O'Regan. +From the day of his son's death until the illegal papers were found in +the eave of his house, he had never rested one moment. His whole +soul seemed darkly to brood over that distressing event, and to have +undergone a change, as it were, from good to evil. His brow lowered, +his cheek got gaunt and haggard, and his eye hollow and wolfish with +ferocity. Neither did he make any great secret of his intention to +execute vengeance on those who hurried his dying child out of life +whilst in the very throes of dissolution. He was never known, however, +to name any names, nor to mark out any particular individual for +revenge. His denunciations were general, but fearful in their import. +The necessity, too, of deserting his wife and child sealed his ruin, +which was not hard to do, as the man was at best but poor, or merely +able, as it is termed, to live from hand to mouth. His flight, +therefore, and all the circumstances of the case considered, it is +not strange that he was the object of general suspicion, and that the +officers of justice were sharply on the lookout for a clue to him. + +In this position matters were, when the Castle Cumber corps of cavalry +made their appearance under all the glitter of new arms, housings and +uniforms, with Valentine M'Clutchy as their captain and paymaster, and +graceful Phil as lieutenant. Upon what slight circumstances do great +events often turn. Because Phil had an ungainly twist in his legs, or +in other words, because he was knock-kneed, and could not appear to +advantage as an infantry officer, was the character of the corps changed +from foot to cavalry, so that Phil and Handsome Harry had an opportunity +of exhibiting their points together. A year had now elapsed, and the +same wintry month of December had again returned, and yet no search had +been successful in finding any trace of O'Regan; but if our readers +will be so good as to accompany us to another scene, they will have an +opportunity of learning at least the character which M'Clutchy's new +corps had won in the country. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII.--Poverty and Sorrow + +A Winter Morning--Father Roche--A Mountain Journey--Raymond +Na-hattha--Cabin on the Moors--M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds--The Conflict--A +Treble Death. + + +It is the chill and ghastly dawn of a severe winter morning; the gray, +cheerless opening of day borrows its faint light only for the purpose of +enabling you to see that the country about you is partially covered with +snow, and that the angry sky is loaded with storm. The rising sun, like +some poverty-stricken invalid, driven, as it were, by necessity, to the +occupation of the day, seems scarcely able to rise, and does so with +a sickly and reluctant aspect. Abroad, there is no voice of joy or +kindness--no cheerful murmur with which the heart can sympathize--all +the warm and exhilarating harmonies that breathe from nature in her +more genial moods are silent. A black freezing spirit darkens the very +light of day, and throws its dismal shadow upon everything about us, +whilst the only sounds that fall upon the ear are the roaring of +the bitter winds among the naked trees, or the hoarse voice of the +half-frozen river, rising and falling--now near, and now far away in the +distance. + +On such a morning as this it was, and at such an hour, that a +pale-faced, thin woman, with all the melancholy evidences of destitution +and sorrow about her, knocked at the door of her parish priest, the +Rev. Francis Roche. The very knock she gave had in it a character of +respectful but eager haste. Her appearance, too, was miserable, and as +she stood in the cold wintry twilight, it would have satisfied any one +that deep affliction and wasting poverty were both at her humble heart. +She had on neither shoe nor stocking, and the consequence was, that the +sharp and jagged surface of the frozen ground, rendered severer by the +impatient speed of her journey, had cut her feet in such a manner that +the blood flowed from them in several places. Cloak or bonnet she had +none; but instead of the former her humble gown was turned over her +shoulders, and in place of the latter she wore a thin kerchief, drawn +round her head, and held under her chin with one hand, as the lower +classes of Irishwomen do in short and hasty journeys. Her journey, +however, though hasty in this instance, was by do means short; and it +was easy to perceive by her distracted manner and stifled sobs, that +however poorly protected against the bitter elements, she had a grief +within which rendered her insensible to their severity. + +It was also apparent, that, though humble in life, she possessed, like +thousands of her countrywomen, a mind of sufficient compass and strength +to comprehend, when adequately moved, the united working of more than +one principle at the same moment. We have said it was evident that she +was under the influence of deep sorrow, but this was not all--a second +glance might disclose the exhibition of a still higher principle. The +woman was at prayer, and it was easy to perceive by the beads which she +held in her fervently clasped hands, by the occasional knocking of her +breast, and the earnest look of supplication to heaven, that her soul +poured forth its aspirations in the deep-felt and anxious spirit of that +religion, which affliction is found so often to kindle in the peasant's +heart. She had only knocked a second time when the door was opened, and +having folded up her beads, she put them into her bosom, and entering +the priest's house, immediately found herself in the kitchen. In a +moment a middle-aged woman, with a rush light in her hand, stirred up +the greeshough, and raking the live turf out of it, she threw on a dozen +well-dried peats out of the chimney corner, and soon had a comfortable +and blazing fire, at which the afflicted creature, having first +intimated her wish that his reverence should accompany her home, was +desired to sit until he should be ready to set out. + +“Why, then,” exclaimed the good-natured woman, “but you had abitther +thramp of it this cowld and cuttin' mornin'--and a cowld and cuttin' +mornin' it is--for sure didn't I feel as if the very nose was whipt +off o' me when I only wint to open the door for you. Sit near the fire, +achora, and warm yourself--throth myself feels like a sieve, the way +the cowld's goin' through me;--sit over, achora, sit over, and get some +heat into you.” + +“Thank you,” said the woman, “but you know it's not a safe thing to go +near the fire when one is frozen or very cowld--'twould only make me +worse when I go out again, besides givin' me pain now.” + +“Och, troth you're right, I forgot that--but you surely didn't come +far, if one's to judge by your dress; though, God knows, far or near, +you have the light coverin' an you for such a morning as this is, the +Lord be praised!” + +“I came better than three miles,” replied the woman. + +“Than what?” + +“Than three miles.” + +“Saver above, is it possible! without cloak or bonnet, shoe or +stockin'--an' you have your affliction at home, too, poor thing; why the +Lord look down an you, an' pity you I pray his blessed name this day! +Stop, I must warm you a drink of brave new milk, and that'll help to +put the cowld out of your heart--sit round here, from the breath of that +back door--I'll have it ready for you in a jiffey; throth will I, an' +you'll see it'll warm you and do you good.” + +“God help me,” exclaimed the woman, “I'll take the drink, bekase I +wouldn't refuse your kind heart; but it's not meat, nor drink, nor +cowld, nor storm, that's throublin' me--I could bear all that, and many +a time did--but then I had _him!_ but now who's to comfort us--who are +we to look to--who is to be our friend? Oh, in the wide world--but God +is good!”--said she, checking herself from a pious apprehension that +she was not sufficiently submissive to his will, “God is good--but still +it's hard to think of losing him.” + +“Well, you won't lose him, I hope,” said the good creature, stirring +the new milk with a spoon, and tasting it to ascertain if it was warm +enough--“Of coorse it's your husband you--whitch! whitch!--the divil be +off you for a skillet, I've a'most scalded myself wid you--it's so thin +that it has a thing boilin' before you could say Jack Robinson. Here +now, achora, try it, an' take care it's not a trifle too hot--it'll +comfort you, anyhow.” + +It is in a country like Ireland, where there is so much of that close +and wasting poverty which constitutes absolute misery, that these +beautiful gushes of pure and tender humanity are to be found, which +spring in the obscurity of life out of the natural goodness and +untutored piety of the Irish heart. It is these virtues, unseen and +unknown, as they generally are, except by the humble individuals on whom +they are exerted--that so often light up by their radiance the +darkness and destitution of the cold and lowly cabin, and that gives an +unconscious sense of cheerfulness under great privations, which +those who do not know the people often attribute to other and more +discreditable causes. + +While the poor woman in question was drinking the warm milk--the very +best restorative by the way which she could get--for poverty is mostly +forced to find out its own humble comforts--Father Roche entered the +kitchen, buttoned up and prepared for the journey. On looking at her he +seemed startled by the scantiness of her dress on such a morning--and +when she rose up at his entrance and dropped him a curtesy, exclaiming, +“God save you, Father!”--at the same time swallowing down the remainder +of the milk that she might not lose a moment; he cast his eye round the +kitchen to see whether she had actually come in the dress she wore. + +“How far have you come this morning, my poor woman?” he inquired. + +“From the ride of the Sliebeen More Mountains, plaise your reverence.” + +“What, in your present dress! without shoe or stocking?” + +“True enough, sir; but indeed it was little the cowld, or sleet, or +frost, troubled me.” + +“Yes, God help you, I can believe that too--for I understand the cause +of it too well--but have hope--Katty, what was that you gave her?” + +“A mouthful of warm milk, your reverence, to put the cowld out of her +heart.” + +“Ah, Katty, I wish we could put sorrow and affliction out of it--but +you did well and right in the meantime; still you must do better, Katty, +lend her your cloak--and your shoes and stockings too, poor thing!” + +“I'm oblaged to your reverence,” she replied, “but indeed I won't +feel the want of them; as I said, there's only one thought that I am +suffering about--and that is, for your reverence to see my husband +before he departs.” + +“Yes--but the consequences of this cold and bitter journey may fall +upon you at another time--and before long, too--so be advised by me, and +don't refuse to take them.” + +“It's not aisy to do that, sir,” she replied with a faint smile, for as +she spoke, his servant had the cloak already about her shoulders; “it +appears,” she continued, “that this kind woman must have her will and +way in everything.” + +“To be sure I will,” said Katty, “espishially in everything that's +right, any how--come here now, and while his reverence is getting his +staff and mittens in the room above, I'll help you on with the shoes and +stockings. Now,” she added, in one of those touching and irresistible +whispers that are produced by kindness and not by secrecy, “if anything +happens--as God forbid there should--but if anything does happen, keep +these till afther everything is over. Before strangers you know one +wouldn't like to appear too bare, if they could help it.” + +The tone in which these words were spoke could not fail in at once +reaching the poor woman's heart. She wept as much from gratitude as the +gloomy alternative involved in Katty's benevolent offer. + +“God bless you,” she exclaimed, “but I trust in the Almighty, there +may be hope and that they won't be wanted. Still, how can I hope when I +think of the way he's in? But God is good, blessed be his holy name!” + +So saying, the priest came down,and they both set out on their bleak and +desolate journey. + +The natural aspect of the surrounding country was in good keeping with +the wild and stormy character of the morning. Before them, in the back +ground, rose a magnificent range of mountains, whose snowy peaks were +occasionally seen far above the dusky clouds which drifted rapidly +across their bosoms. The whole landscape, in fact, teemed with a +spirit of savage grandeur. Many of the glens on each side were deep +and precipitous, where rock beetled over rock, and ledge projected over +ledge, in a manner so fearful that the mind of the spectator, excited +and rapt into terror by the contemplation of them, wondered why they did +not long ago tumble into the chasm beneath, so slight was their apparent +support. Even in the mildest, seasons desolation brooded over the lesser +hills and mountains about them; what then must it not have been at the +period we are describing? From a hill a little to the right, over which +they had to pass, a precipitous headland was visible, against which the +mighty heavings of the ocean could be heard hoarsely thundering at a +distance, and the giant billows, in periods of storm and tempest, seen +shivering themselves into white; foam that rose nearly to the summit of +their immovable barriers. + +Such was the toilsome country over which our two travellers had to pass. + +It was not without difficulty and fatigue that the priest and his +companion wended their way towards one of the moors we have, mentioned. +The snow beat against them with great violence, sometimes rendering +it almost impossible for them to keep their eyes open or to see +their proper path across the hills. The woman, however, trod her +way instinctively, and whilst the, priest aided her by his superior +strength, she in return guided him by a clearer sagacity. Neither spoke +much, for in truth each had enough to do in combating with the toil and +peril of the journey, as well as in thinking of the melancholy scene to +which they were hastening. Words of consolation and comfort he did +from time to time utter; but he felt that his situation was one of +difficulty. To inspire hope where there was probably no hope, might be +only to deepen her affliction; and, on the other hand, to weigh down a +heart already heavy laden by unnecessarily adding one gloomy forboding +to its burthen, was not in his nature. Such comfort as he could give +without bearing too strongly upon either her hopes or her fears he did +give; and we do not think that an apostle, had he been in his place, +could or ought to have done more. + +They had now arrived within half a mile of the moor, when they felt +themselves overtaken by a man whose figure was of a very singular and +startling description, being apparently as wild and untamed as the +barren waste on which he made his appearance. He was actually two or +three inches above the common height, but in addition to this fact, and +as if not satisfied with it, he wore three hats, one sheathed a little +into the other, so that they could not readily separate, and the under +one he kept always fastened to his head, in order to prevent the whole +pyramid from falling off. His person seemed to gain still greater height +from the circumstance of his wearing a long surtout that reached to his +heels, and which he kept constantly buttoned closely about him. His feet +were cased in a tight pair of leather buskins, for it was one of his +singularities that he could endure neither boot nor shoe, and he always +wore a glove of some kind on his left hand, but never any on his right. +His features might be termed regular, even handsome; and his eyes were +absolutely brilliant, yet, notwithstanding this, it was impossible to +look for a moment upon his _tout ensemble_ without perceiving that that +spirit which stamps the impress of reason and intellect upon the human +countenance, was not visible in his. Like a new and well-proportioned +house which had never been occupied, everything seemed externally +regular and perfect, whilst it was evident by its still and lonely +character, as contrasted with the busy marks of on-going life in those +around it, that it was void and without an inhabitant. + +Like many others of his unhappy class, Poll Doolin's son, +“Raymond-na-hattha,” for it was he, and so had he been nick-named, +in consequence of his wearing such a number of hats, had a remarkable +mixture of humor, simplicity, and cunning. He entertained a great +penchant, or rather a passion for cock-fighting, and on the present +occasion carried a game one under his arm. Throughout the country no +man possessed a bird of that species, with whose pedigree he was not +thoroughly acquainted; and, truth to tell, he proved himself as great +a thief as he was a genealogist among them. Many a time the unfortunate +foxes from some neighboring cover were cursed and banned, when, if +the truth had been known, the only fox that despoiled the roost was +Raymond-na-hattha. One thing, however, was certain, that unless the +cock was thoroughly game he might enjoy his liberty and ease long enough +without molestation from Raymond. We had well nigh forgotten to say that +he wore on the right side of his topmost hat a cockade of yellow cloth, +from which two or three ribbons of a scarlet color fluttered down to his +shoulder, a bit of vanity which added very much to the fantastic nature +of his general costume. + +“Ha! Raymond, my good boy,” said the priest, “how does it happen +that you are so early up this stormy morning? would you not be more +comfortable in your bed?” + +“Airly up,” replied Raymond, “airly up! that's good--to be sure you're a +priest, but you don't know everything.” + +“Why, what am I ignorant of now, Raymond?” + +“Why, that I didn't go to bed yet--so that it's up late, instead of +early, I am--d'ye hear? ha, ha, now take that.” + +“When, where, and how did you spend the night then, Raymond; but you +seem in a hurry--surely if you trot on at this fate we cannot keep up +with you.” The truth is, Raymond's general rate of travelling was very +rapid. “Where did you spend the night, Raymond,” continued the priest. + +“Wid a set o' jolly cocks--ha, ha,--now make money of that, d'ye hear.” + +“You're a riddle, Raymond; you're a riddle; there's no understanding +you--where did you get the cock?--but I needn't ask; of course you stole +him.” + +“Then why do you ax if you think so?” + +“Because you're notorious for stealing cocks--every one knows as much.” + +“No, never steal 'em,--fond o' me--come wid me themselves. Look.” The +words were scarcely uttered when he tossed the bird up into the air, and +certainly, after flying about for a few yards, he alit, and tottering +against the wind towards Raymond, stretched out his neck, as if he +wished to be again taken up by him. + +“I see,” said the priest, “but answer me--where did you spend last night +now?” + +“I tould you,” said Raymond, “wid de jolly cocks--sure I mostly roost +it; an' better company too than most people, for they're fond o' me. +Didn't you see? ha, ha!” + +“I believe I understand you now,” said Father Roche; “you've slept near +somebody's hen roost, and have stolen the cock--to whom are you carrying +it?” + +“You won't tell to-morrow; ha, ha, there now, take a rub too--that's +one.” + +“Poor creature,” said the priest to his companion, “I am told he is +affectionate, and where he takes a fancy or has received a kindness, +very grateful.” + +The parish where the circumstances we are describing occurred, having +been that in which Raymond was born, of course the poor fool was +familiar to every one in it, as indeed every one in it, young and old, +was to him. + +During the short dialogue between him and the priest, the female, +absorbed in her own heavy sorrow, was observed by Raymond occasionally +to wipe the tears from her eyes; a slight change, a shade of apparent +compassion came over his countenance, and turning to her, he gently laid +his hand upon her shoulder, and said, in a voice different from, his +flighty and abrupt manner-- + +“Don't cry, Mary, he has company, and good things that were brought to +him--he has indeed, Mary; so don't be crying now.” + +“What do you mean, poor boy?” asked the woman; “I don't understand you, +Raymond.” + +“It is difficult to do that at all times,” said Father Roche, “but +notwithstanding the wildness of his manner, he is seldom without +meaning. Raymond will you tell me where you came from now?” he asked. + +“From your house,” he replied; “I went to fetch you to him; but you were +both gone, and I overtook you--I could aisy do that--ha ha.” + +“But what is the company that's with him, Raymond?” asked the female, +naturally anxious to understand this part of his communication. Raymond, +however, was now in one of his silent moods, and appeared not to hear +her; at all events, he did not think it worth his while to give her any +reply. For a short period he kept murmuring indistinctly to himself, or +if a word or two became audible, it was clear that his favorite sport of +cock-fighting had altogether engrossed his attention. + +They had now reached a rough, dark knoll of heath, which brought them +in view of the cabin to which they were going, and also commanded an +extensive and glorious prospect of the rich and magnificent inland +country which lay behind them. The priest and his now almost exhausted +companion, to whom its scenery was familiar, waited not to look back +upon its beauty or its richness. Not so Raymond, who, from the moment +they began to ascend the elevation, kept constantly looking back, and +straining his eyes in one particular direction. At length he started, +and placing his right hand upon the priest's shoulder, said in a +suppressed but eager voice-- + +“Go on--go on--they're coming.” Then, turning to the female--“Come,” + said he; “come, Mary,--I'll help you.” + +“Who is coming?” she exclaimed, whilst the paleness of death and terror +settled in her face; “for God's mercy, Raymond, who is coming?” + +“I saw them,” said he; “I saw them. Come--come fast--I'll help +you--don't thrimble--don't thrimble.” + +“Let us be guided by him,” said the priest. “Raymond,” he added, “we +cannot go much faster through this marshy heath, but do you aid Mary as +well as you can; as for me, I will try if it be possible to quicken my +pace.” + +He accordingly proceeded in advance of the other two for a little; +but it was only for a little. The female--who seemed excited by some +uncommon terror, and the wild, apprehensive manner of her companion, +into something not unlike the energy of despair--rushed on, as if she +had been only setting out, or gained supernatural strength. In a few +minutes she was beside the priest, whom she encouraged, and besought, +and entreated--ay, and in some moments of more vehement feeling, +absolutely chided, for not keeping pace with herself. They had now, +however, came within about a hundred yards of the cabin, which they soon +reached--the female entering it about a minute or two before the others, +in order to make those humble arrangements about a sick-bed, which, +however poverty may be forced to overlook on ordinary occasions, are +always attended to on the approach of the doctor, or the minister of +religion. In the instance before us, she had barely time to comfort her +sick husband, by an assurance that the priest had arrived, after which +she hastily wiped his lips and kissed them, then settled his head more +easily; after which she spread out to the best advantage the poor quilt +which covered him, and tucked it in about his lowly bed, so as to give +it something of a more tidy appearance. + +The interior of the cottage, which the priest and Raymond entered +together, was, when the bitter and inclement nature of the morning, and +the state of the miserable inmates is considered, enough to make any +heart possessing humanity shudder. Two or three stools; a couple of +pots; a few shelves, supported on pegs driven into the peat wall; +about a bushel of raw potatoes lying in a corner; a small heap of damp +turf--for the foregoing summer had been so incessantly wet, that the +turf, unless when very early cut, could not be saved; a few wooden +noggins and dishes; together with a bundle of straw, covered up in a +corner with the sick man's coat, which, when shaken out at night, was +a bed; and those, with the exception of their own simple domestic truth +and affection, were their only riches. The floor, too, as is not unusual +in such mountain cabins, was nothing but the natural peat, and so +damp and soft was it, that in wet weather the marks of their feet were +visibly impressed on it at every step. With the exception of liberty to +go and come, pure air, and the light of the blessed day, they might as +well have dragged out their existence in a subterraneous keep belonging +to some tyrannical old baron of the feudal ages. + +There was one small apartment in this cabin, but what it contained, +if it did contain anything, could not readily be seen, for the hole or +window, which in summer admitted the light, was now filled with rags +to keep out the cold. From this little room, however, the priest as he +entered, was surprised to see a young man come forth, apparently much +moved by some object which he had seen in it. + +“Mr. Harman,” said the priest, a good deal surprised, “who could have +expected to find you here?” + +They shook hands as he spoke, each casting his eyes upon this woeful +scene of misery. “God pity them,” ejaculated the priest, clasping his +hands, and looking upwards, “and sustain them!” + +“I owe it to poor Raymond, here,” replied the other, “and I feel obliged +to him; but,” said he, taking Father Roche over to the door, “here will +be a double death--father and son.” + +“Father and son, how is that?--she mentioned nothing of the son.” + +“It is very possible,” said Harman, “that they are not conscious of his +danger. I fear, however, that the poor boy has not many hours to live.” + +All that we have just described, occurred in three minutes; but short +as was the time, the wife's impatience to have the rites of the church +administered, could scarcely be restrained; nor was poor Raymond's +anxiety much less. + +“They're comin',” said he, “Mr. Harman, they are comin'; hurry, hurry, I +know what they'll do.” + +“Who are coming, Raymond?” asked Harman. “Oh!” said the fool, +“hurry--M'Clutchy's blood-hounds.” + +The wife clapped her hands, shrieked, and falling on her knees, +exclaimed in a piercing voice, “merciful God, look down on us! Oh, +Father Roche, there is not a moment to be lost!” + +The priest and Harman again exchanged a melancholy glance;--“you +must all retire into the little room,” said the clergyman, “until I +administer to him the last rites.” + +They accordingly withdrew, the woman having first left a lit rush light +candle at his bed-side, as she knew the ceremony required. + +The man's strength was wasting fast, and his voice sinking rapidly, +but on the other hand he was calm and rational, a circumstance which +relieved the priest's mind very much. As is usual, having put a stole +about his neck, he first heard his confession, earnestly exhorted him +to repentance, and soothed and comforted him with all those promises +and consolations which are held out to repentant sinners. He then +administered the Extreme Unction; which being over, the ceremony, and +a solemn one it must be considered, was concluded. On this occasion, +however, his death-bed consolations did not end here. There are in the +Roman Catholic Church prayers for the dying, many of them replete with +the fervor of Christian faith, and calculated to raise the soul to the +hopes of immortality. These the priest read in a slow manner, so as that +the dying man could easily accompany him, which he did with his hands +clasped, upon his breast, and his eyes closed, unless when he raised +them occasionally to heaven. He then exhorted him with an anxiety for +his salvation which transcended all earthly and temporal considerations, +prayed with him and for him, whilst the tears streamed in torrents down +his cheeks. Nor was the spirit of his holy mission lost; the penitent +man's face assumed a placid and serene expression; the light of immortal +hope beamed upon it; and raising his eyes and his feeble arms to heaven, +he uttered several ejaculations in a tone of voice too low to be heard. +At length he exclaimed aloud, “thanks to the Almighty that I did not +commit this murder as I intended! I found it done to my hand; but +I don't know who did it, as I am to meet my God!” The words were +pronounced with difficulty; indeed they were scarcely uttered, when his +arms fell lifelessly, as it were, by his side--they were again suddenly +drawn up, however, as if by a convulsive motion, and the priest saw +that the agonies of death were about to commence; still, it was easy to +perceive that the man was collected and rational. + +It was now, however, that a scene took place, which could not, we +imagine, be witnessed out of distracted and unhappy Ireland. Raymond, +who appeared to dread the approach of those whom he termed M'Clutchy's +blood-hounds, no sooner saw that the religious rites were concluded, +than he ran out to reconnoitre. In a moment, however, he returned a +picture of terror, and dragging the woman to the door, pointed to a +declivity below the house, exclaiming-- + +[Illustration: PAGE 186-- See, Mary, see--they're gallopin] + +“See, Mary, see--they're gallopin'.” The dying man seemed conscious of +what was said, for the groan he gave was wild and startling; his wife +dropped on her knees at the door, where she could watch her husband and +those who approached, and clasping her hands, exclaimed, “To your mercy, +O Lord of heaven, to your mercy take him, before he falls into their +hands, that will show him none!” She then bestowed upon him a look full +of an impatient agony, which no language could describe; her eyes had +already become wild and piercing--her cheek flushed--and her frame +animated with a spirit that seemed to partake at once of terror, intense +hatred, and something like frenzy. + +“They are gallopin'! they are gallopin'!” she said, “and they will find +life in him!” She then wrung her hands, but shed not a tear--“speed, +Hugh,” she said, “speed, speed, husband of my heart--the arms of God are +they not open for you, and why do you stay?” These sentiments, we +should have informed our readers, were uttered, or rather chaunted in +a recitative of sorrow, in Irish; Irish being the language in which +the peasantry who happen to speak both it and English, always express +themselves when more than usually excited. “The sacred oil of salvation +is upon you--the sacrament of peace and forgiveness has lightened your +soul--the breath of mercy is the breath you're breathin'--the hope of +Jesus is in your heart, and the intercession of his blessed mother, she +that knew sorrow herself, is before you! Then, light of my heart, the +arms of God are they not open for you, and why do you stay here?” + +“Nearer--nearer,” she exclaimed, “they are nearer--whippin' and spurrin' +their horses! Hugh O'Regan, that was the sun of my life, and of my +heart, and ever without a cloud, hasten to the God of mercy! Oh, surely, +you will not blame your own Mary that was your lovin' wife--and the +treasure of your young and manly heart, for wishin' to see you taken +from her eyes--and for wishing to see the eyes that,never looked upon +us all but with love and kindness, closed on us forever. Oh,” said she, +putting her hands to her forehead, “an' is it--is it come to this--that +I that was dearer to him than his own life a thousand times, should now +be glad to see him die--be glad to see him die! Oh! they are here,” + she shrieked, “before the door--you may hear their horses' feet! +Hugh O'Regan,” and her voice became louder and more energetic--“the +white-skinned--the fair of hair, the strong of hand, and the true of +heart--as you ever loved me that was once your happy bride--as you ever +loved the religion of our holy church--as you hope for happiness and +mercy, hasten from me--from our orphan--from all--oh, hasten to the arms +of your God!” + +During this scene there was a solemn silence in the house, the priest +and Harman having both been struck mute at the solemnity of the scene. + +“They are here--they are here!” she screamed. “Oh, sun of my heart, +think not now of me, nor of the children of your love, for we will +follow you in time--but think of the happy country you're going to,--to +live in the sunshine of heaven, among saints and angels for ever! Oh, +sun of my heart, think too of what you lave behind you! What is it? +Oh! what is it to you--but poverty, and misery, and hardship--the cowld +cabin and the damp bed--the frost of the sky--the frown of power, and +the scourge of law--all this, oh, right hand of my affection, with the +hard labor and the scanty food, do you fly from! Sure we had no friend +in this world to protect or defend us against them that, would trample +us under their feet! No friend for us because we are poor, and no friend +for our religion because it is despised. Then hasten, hasten, O light of +my heart--and take refuge in the mercy of your God!” + +“Mary,” said the priest, who had his eyes fixed upon the sick man, “Give +God thanks, he is dead--and beyond the reach of human enmity forever.” + +She immediately prostrated herself on the floor in token of humility and +thanksgiving--then raising her eyes to heaven, she said, “may the heart +of the woeful widow be grateful to the God who has taken him to his +mercy before they came upon him! But here they are, and now I am not +afraid of them. They can't insult my blessed husband now, nor murdher +him, as his father's villains did our dyin' son, on the cowld Esker of +Drum Dhu; nor disturb him with their barbarous torments on the bed of +death--and glory be to God for that!” + +Many of our readers may be led to imagine that the terrors of Mary +O'Regan were altogether unproportioned to anything that might be +apprehended from the approach of the officers of justice, or, at least +to those who came to execute the law. The state of Irish society at that +time, however, was very different from what it is now, or has been for +the last twenty years. At that period one party was in the ascendant and +the other directly under their feet; the former was in the possession +of irresponsible power, and the other, in many matters, without any +tribunal whatsoever to which, they could appeal. The Established Church +of Ireland was then a sordid corporation, whose wealth was parcelled +out, not only without principle, but without shame, to the English and +Irish aristocracy, but principally to the English. Church livings were +not filled with men remarkable for learning and piety, but awarded to +political prostitution, and often to young rakes of known and unblushing +profligacy, connected with families of rank. The consequence was, that +a gross secular spirit, replete with political hatred and religious +rancor, was the only principle which existed in the place of true +religion. That word was then, except in rare cases indeed, a dead +letter; for such was the state of Protestant society then, and for +several years afterwards, that it mattered not how much or how little a +man of that creed knew about the principles of his own church; and as +it was administered the less he knew of it the better--all that was +necessary to constitute a good Protestant was “to hate the Pope.” In +truth--for it cannot be concealed, and we write it with deep pain and +sorrow--the Established Church of Ireland was then, in point of fact, +little else than a mere political engine held by the English government +for the purpose of securing the adherence of those who were willing to +give support to their measures. + +In such a state of things, then, it need not be wondered at, that, +neglected and secularized as it was at the period we write of, it should +produce a class of men, whose passions in everything connected with +religion and politics were intolerant and exclusive. Every church, no +matter what its creed, unfortunately has its elect of such professors. +Nor were these confined to the lower classes alone--far from it. The +squire and nobleman were too frequently both alike remarkable for the +exhibition of such principles. Of this class was our friend M'Clutchy, +who was now a justice of the peace, a grand juror, and a captain of +cavalry--his corps having, a little time before, been completed. With +this posse, as the officers of justice, the pranks he played were +grievous to think of or to remember. He and they were, in fact, the +terror of the whole Roman Catholic population; and from the spirit in +which they executed justice, were seldom called by any other name than +that of M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds. Upon the present occasion they were +unaccompanied by M'Clutchy himself--a circumstance which was not to +be regretted, as there was little to be expected from his presence but +additional brutality and insult. + +On arriving at the door, they hastily dismounted, and rushed into the +cabin with their usual violence and impetuosity, each being armed with a +carbine and bayonet. + +“Hallo!” said the leader, whose name was Sharpe; “what's here? shamming +sickness is it?” + +“No,” said Father Roche; “it is death?” + +“Ay! shamming death then. Never mind--we'll soon see that. Come, Steele, +give him a prod--a gentle one--and I'll engage it'll make him find +tongue, if anything will.” + +Steele, to whom this was addressed, drew his bayonet, and commenced +screwing it on, for the purpose of executing his orders. + +“A devilish good trick, too,” said he; “and the first of the kind that +has been practised on us yet--here goes--” + +Up until this moment O'Regan's wife sat beside the dead body of +her husband, without either word or motion. A smile of--it might +be satisfaction, perhaps even joy, at his release; or it might be +hatred--was on her face, and in her eye; but when the man pointed his +bayonet at the corpse of her husband, she started to her knees, and +opening out her arms, exclaimed-- + +“Here's my heart--and through that heart your bayonet will go, before it +touches his body. Oh, if you have hearts in your bodies, you will surely +spare the dead!” + +“Here goes, ma'am,” he repeated, “and you had better lave that--we're +not in the habit of being checked by the like of you, at any rate, or +any of your creed.” + +“I am not afeared to profess my creed--nor ashamed of it,” she +exclaimed; and if it went to that, I would die for it--but I tell you, +that before your bayonet touches the dead body of my husband, it must +pass through my heart!” + +“Don't be alarmed, Mary,” said the priest; “they surely cannot be +serious. It's not possible that any being in the shape of man could be +guilty of such a sacrilegious outrage upon the dead as they threaten.” + +“What is it your business?” said the leader; “go and tare off your +masses, and be hanged; none of your Popish interference here, or it'll +be worse for you! I say the fellow's not dead--he's only skeining. Come, +Alick, put the woman aside, and tickle him up.” + +“Keep aside, I tell you,” said Steele, again addressing her--“keep +aside, my good woman, till I obey my orders--and don't provoke me.” + +Father Roche was again advancing to remonstrate with him, for the man's +determination seemed likely to get stronger by opposition--when, just as +the bayonet which had already passed under the woman's arm, was within a +few inches of O'Regan's body, he felt himself dragged forcibly back, +and Raymond-na-hattha stood before him, having seized both carbine and +bayonet with a strong grip. + +“Don't do that,” he exclaimed--“don't--you'd hurt him--sure you'd hurt +poor Hugh!” + +The touching simplicity of this language, which, to a heart possessing +the least tincture of humanity, would have more, force than the +strongest argument, was thrown away upon him to whom it was directed. + +“Fling the blasted idiot off,” shouted Sharpe; “don't you see he has let +the cat out o' the bag--how could the man be hurted if he was dead; I +knew it was a schame.” To throw Raymond off, however, was easier said +than done, as the fellow found on attempting it. A struggle commenced +between them, which, though violent, was not of long duration. Raymond's +eye got turbid, and glared with a fiery light; but otherwise his +complexion did not change. By a vehement twist, he wrenched the arms +out of Steele's hands, hurling him from him at the same time, with such +force, that he fell on the floor with a crash. + +“Now,” said he, pointing the bayonet to his neck, “would you like +it?---ha, ha!--think of that.” + +Four carbines--the whole party consisting of five--were immediately +levelled at him; and it is not improbable that half a minute more would +have closed both his existence and his history, had not Father Roche and +the widow both succeeded, with some difficulty, in drawing him back from +the prostrate officer of justice. Raymond, after a little time, gave up +the arms; but his eye still blazed at his opponent, with a glare that +could not be misunderstood. + +Harman, who had hitherto taken no part whatsoever in the altercation, +now interfered; and with feelings which he found it nearly impossible to +restrain, pointed out to them the wanton cruelty of such conduct towards +both the living and the dead. “I am ashamed of you,” said he, “as +countrymen, as Irishmen. Your treatment of this poor heartbroken woman, +amidst her desolation and sorrow, is a disgrace to the country that +gave you birth, and to the religion you profess, if, indeed, you profess +any.” + +“Come, come, my good fellow,” said Sharpe, “what is it you say about my +religion? I tell you I'll allow no man to spake a syllable against my +religion; so keep quiet if you're wise, and don't attack that, otherwise +don't be surprised if I make you dance the devil's hornpipe in half a +shake, great a hairo as you are.” + +“And yet you felt no scruple in just now insulting religion, in the +person of this reverend gentleman who never offended you.” + +“Him! why what the hell is he but a priest?” + +“And the more entitled to your respect on that account--but since you +are so easily excited in defence of your own creed, why so ready to +attack in such offensive and insulting language that of another?” + +“Come, come, Sharpe,” said another of them, “are we to be here all +day--whatever we're to do let us do it at once; if the fellow's dead, +why he has had a devilish good escape of it, and if not, let us clap him +on a horse, that is, provided he's able to travel. I think myself he has +got the start of us, and that the wind's out of him.” + +“Take your time,” said Steele, who felt anxious to avenge his defeat +upon some one, “we must know, that before ever we leave the house--and +by the great Boyne, the first person that goes between me and him will +get the contents of this,” and as he uttered the words he coolly and +deliberately cocked the gun, and was advancing as before to the dead +body. + +“Holdback,” said Harman, in a voice which made the man start, whilst +with a firm tread and resolute eye, he stood face to face before him; +“hold back, and dare not violate that sacred and awful privilege, which +in every country and creed under heaven is sufficient to protect the +defenceless dead. What can be your object in this? are you men--have +you the spirit, the courage, of men? If you are human beings, is not +the sight of that unhappy fellow-creature--I hope he is happy +now,--stretched out in death before you, sufficient, by the very +stillness of departed life, to calm the brutal frenzy of your passions! +Have you common courage? No; I tell you to your teeth that none but +spiritless caitiffs and cowards would, in the presence of death and +sorrow--in the miserable cabin of the destitute widow and her orphan +boy--exhibit the ruffianly outrages of men who are wanton in their +cruelty, merely because they know there is none to resist them; and I +may add, because they think that their excesses, however barbarous, will +be shielded by higher authority. No, I tell you, if there stood man for +man before you, even without arms in their hands, you would not dare to +act and swagger as you do, or to play these cruel pranks of oppression +and tyranny anywhere, much less in the house of death and affliction. +Fie upon you, you are a disgrace to everything that is human, a reproach +to every feeling of manhood, and every principle of religion.” + +Hardened as they were by the habits of their profligate and debasing +employment, such was the ascendancy of manly truth and and moral feeling +over them, that for a minute or two they quailed under the indignant +glance of Harman. Steele drew back his gun, and looked round on his +companions to ascertain their feeling. + +“Gentleman,” said Father Roche, anxious to mollify them as much as he +could--“gentleman, for the sake of that poor heart-broken widowed woman +and her orphan son--for her and his sake, and if not for theirs then, +for the sake of God himself, before whose awful judgment-seat we must +all stand to render an account of our works, I entreat--I implore you to +withdraw--do, gentlemen, and leave her and her children to their sorrows +and their misery, for the world has little else for them.” + +“I'm willing to go,” said a fellow, ironically called Handsome Hacket, +because he was blind of an eye and deeply pock-pitted--“there's no use +in quarrellin' with a woman certainly--and I don't think there can be +any doubt about the man's death; devil a bit.” + +“Well said, Vainus,” exclaimed Sharpe, “and it is not ten days since +we were defrauded of Parra Rackan who escaped from us in Jemmy Reilly's +coffin--when we thought to nab him in the wakehouse--and when we went +away didn't they set him at large, and then go back to bury the man that +was dead. Now, how da you know, Vainus, my purty boy, that this fellow's +not playin' us a trick o' the same color?” + +“Come, come,” said another of them who had not yet spoke, “it's aisy +to know that. Curse me, Steele, if you don't give him a tickle, I +will--that's all--we're losin' the day and I want my breakfast Living +or dead, and be hanged to him, I'm starved for want of something to +eat--and to drink, too--so be quick I tell you.” + +“Very well, my buck,” said Steele--“that's your sort--here goes--” + +He once more advanced with a savage determination to effect his +purpose--when the priest gently and in a mild spirit of remonstrance +laid his hand upon his shoulder; but he had scarcely done so, when +one of them seized him by the collar and flung, or rather attempted to +fling, him back with great violence. + +“Go on, Steele,” shouted the last speaker, whose name was Harpur--“Go +on--and be cursed, man, we will support you.” + +The words, however, were scarcely out of his lips, when Raymond, his eye +glaring like that of a tiger with the wildness of untamed resentment, +sprang upon him with a bound, and in a moment they once more grappled +together. It was, however, only for a moment--for by the heavy blow he +received from Raymond, the man staggered and fell, but ere he reached +the ground, the gun, which had been ineffectually aimed at the poor +fool, went off, and lodged its contents in the heart of the last +speaker, who staggered, groaned, and fell lifeless where he stood. + +For a minute or so, this fatal and unexpected catastrophe stunned them. +They looked upon each other amazed and apparently stupefied, “What,” + cried Sharpe, “is Harpur dead?” Two of them then placed their arms +against the wall in order to ascertain the exact nature of the injury +inflicted. + +At this moment, Sharpe, who saw at once the man was indeed lifeless, +raised his gun about to take aim at Raymond, when a blow from Harman +felled him to the earth. + +“And here's for your kindness, Mister Harman,” shouted Steele; but +ere the words were uttered, O'Regan's wife threw herself upon him +so effectually, that he felt it impossible to avail himself of his +fire-arms. + +“Fight now,” she shouted in Irish, “it is for your lives--it is for the +widow--for the orphan--for the bed of death--and the dead that's upon +it--fight now--for God will be with us! May his strength and power be +in your arms and your hearts, prays the woeful widow this day! +Villain--villain,” she shouted, “I have you powerless now--but it's the +strength of God that is in me, and not my own!” + +The conflict that ensued now was bitter, savage, deadly. The moment +Sharpe was knocked down, Raymond flew to their firearms, handed one to +Harman, and kept the other himself. The men who used them were fierce, +and powerful, and cruel. In a moment a furious contest took place. The +four men immediately grappled, each one attempting to wrest the gun +from his antagonist. Raymond, whose passions were now roused so as to +resemble the ravenous fury of madness itself, at one time howled like +a beast of prey, and shouted, and screamed, and laughed with maniac +wildness that was enough to make almost any heart quail. His eyes +blazed, his figure dilated, his muscles stood out, his mouth was white +with froth, and his eyebrows were knit into a deep and deadly scowl. +Altogether his appearance was frightful and appalling. + +Harman was still better matched, and the struggle with his foe was for +some time doubtful enough, the latter being one of the strongest and +most resolute men in the whole parish. A powerful tug for the gun now +took place, each pulling in opposite directions with all his might. At +length a thought struck Harman, who all at once let the gun go, when +the other having no longer any resisting power to sustain him, fell back +upon the floor, and in an instant Harman's knee was on his chest and the +gun in his possession. The man ground his teeth, and looking up into his +face with a black scowl of hatred, exclaimed-- + +“It is your turn now, but I will have mine.” + +“You have had yours too long, villain,” replied the other, “but in +the mean time I will teach you to respect the bed of death and the +afflictions of the widow.” + +Saying which, he vigorously applied the butt of the gun to his ribs, +until he had rendered him anything but disposed for further conflict. + +Both victories were achieved much about the same time; Raymond's +opponent being far the more severely punished of the two. “What, +however, was their surprise after each had expelled his man from the +cabin, to find Steele down, his gun lying on one side. O'Regan's wife +fastened on his throat, and himself panting and almost black in the +face! + +“Here now,” she exclaimed, “the battle of the widow was well fought, +and God gave us strength. Put this man out with the rest.” This was +accordingly done, but as in the case of his companions, the gun for the +present was retained. + +“See now,” she proceeded, still in Irish, “what the hand of a weak +woman can do, when her heart is strengthened by God, against cruelty and +oppression. What made that strong man weak in my grasp? Because he knew +that the weakness of the widow was his shame--the touch of her hand took +away his strength; and what had he within or about him to depend upon? +could he look in upon his wicked heart, and be strong? could he look +upon the darkness of a bad conscience, and be strong? could he look on +me--upon my dead husband, and his bed of death, and be strong? No--and +above all, could he look up to the Almighty God in heaven, and be +strong--no--no--no--but from all these I gained strength--for surely, +surely, I had it not in myself!” + +She uttered these sentiments with wonderful energy, and indeed, from +the fire in her eye, and the flush of her cheek, it was evident she +was highly excited. Father Roche, who had been engaged, and indeed, had +enough to do in keeping the poor child quiet and aloof from the fray, +especially from his mother--now entreated that she would endeavor to +compose herself, as she had reason to thank God, he said, that neither +she herself nor her resolute defenders had sustained any personal +injury. She did not seem to have heard him--for on looking on the body +of her husband she almost bounded over to the bed, and kneeling down +rapturously, and in a spirit of enthusiastic triumph, kissed his lips. + +“Now, my husband,” said she, “we have fought and gained the victory--no +insult did you get--no dishonor on your lowly bed where you're sleepin' +your last sleep. Hugh, do you know, asthore, how the wife of your heart +fought for you? Your own poor, weak, sorrowful, heart-broken, but loving +wife, that was as feeble as an infant this mornin'! But who gave her +the strength to put down a strong and wicked man'? The God--the good +God--and to him be the glory!--in whose bosom you are now happy. Ay, we +conquered--ha--ha--ha--we conquered--we conquered--ha--ha--ha!” + +The dead body of Harpur in the meantime had been removed by his +companions, who it was evident felt as much, if not more bitterness at +their own defeat, than they did by the fatal accident which deprived him +of life. + +Scarcely had the wild triumph of O'Regan's wife time to subside, when +it soon became evident that the tragical incidents of this bitter and +melancholy morning were not yet completed. + +The child alluded to by Harman in his first brief conversation with +Father Roche, had been for some time past in a much more dangerous state +than his parents suspected, or at least than his unhappy mother did, +whose principal care was engrossed by the situation of her husband. +The poor boy, at all times affectionate and uncomplaining, felt loth to +obtrude his little wants and sufferings upon her attention, knowing +as he did, that, owing to the nursing of his father, she was scarcely +permitted three hours sleep out of the twenty-four. If he could have +been afforded even the ordinary comforts of a sick-bed, it is possible +he might have recovered. The only drink he could call for was “the black +water,” as it is termed by the people, and his only nutrition a dry +potato, which he could not take; the bed he lay upon was damp straw, yet +did this patient child never utter a syllable to dishearten his mother, +or deepen the gloom which hung over the circumstances of the family, +and his father's heart. When asked how he was, he uniformly replied +“better,” and his large lucid eyes would faintly smile upon his mother, +as if to give her hope, after which the desolate boy would amuse himself +by handling the bedclothes as invalids often do, or play with the humid +straw of his cold and miserable bed, or strive to chat with his mother. + +These details are very painful to those whose hearts are so elegantly +and fashionably tender that they recoil with humane horror from scenes +of humble wretchedness and destitution. It is good, however, that they +should be known to exist, for we assure the great and wealthy that +they actually do exist, and may be found in all their sharpness and +melancholy truth within the evening shadow which falls from many a proud +and wealthy dwelling in this our native land. + +After all, it is likely, that had not the fearful occurrences of this +morning taken place, their sweet boy might have been spared to them. The +shock, however, occasioned by the discharge of the gun, and the noise +of the conflict, acting upon a frame so feeble were more than he could +bear. Be this as it may, the constables were not many minutes gone, +when, to their surprise, he staggered back again out of his little +room, where Father Roche had placed him, and tottering across the floor, +slipped in the deceased man's blood, and fell. The mother flew to him, +but Harman had already raised him up; when on his feet, he looked at +the blood and shuddered--a still more deadly paleness settled on his +face--his breath came short, and his lips got dry and parched--he could +not speak nor stand, had not Harman supported him. He looked again at +the blood with horror, and then at his mother, whilst he shrank up, as +it were, into himself, and shivered from head to foot. + +“Darling of my heart,” she exclaimed, “I understand you. Bryan, our +treasure, be a man for the sake of your poor heart-broken mother--I +will, I will, my darling life, I will wipe it off of you, every stain of +it--why should such blood and my innocent son come together?” + +She now got a cloth, and in a few moments left not a trace of it upon +him. He had not yet spoken, but on finding himself cleansed from it, he +stretched out his hands, thereby intimating that he wished to go to her. + +“Do you not perceive a bottle on the shelf there?” said Harman, “it +contains wine which I brought for his--,” he checked himself;--“Alas! +my poor boy,” he exclaimed involuntarily, “you are doubly dear to +your-mother now. Mix it with water,” he proceeded, “and give him a +little, it will strengthen and revive him.” + +“Better,” said Father Roche in a low voice, not intended for his, “to +put him back into his own bed; he is not now in a state to be made +acquainted with his woeful loss.” As he spoke the boy glanced at the +corpse of his father, and almost at the same moment his mother put wine +and water to his lips. He was about to taste it, but on looking into +the little tin porringer that contained it, he put it away from him, and +shuddered strongly. + +“It's mixed with the blood,” said he, “and I can't;” and again he put it +away from him. + +“Bryan, asthore,” said his mother, “it's not blood; sure it's wine that +Mr. Harman, the blessin' of God be upon him, brought to you.” + +He turned away again, however, and would not take it. “Bring me to my +father,” said he, once more stretching out his arms towards his mother, +“let me stay a while with him.” + +“But he's asleep, Bryan,” said Harman, “and I'm sure you would not wish +to awaken him.” + +“I would like to kiss him then,” he replied, “and to sleep a while with +him.” + +“Och, let him, poor darling,” said his mother, as she took him in her +arms, “it may ease his little heart, and then he'll feel satisfied.” + +“Well, if you're allowed to go to him won't you lie very quiet, and not +speak so as to disturb him?” said Harman. + +“I'm tired,” said the child, “and I'd like to sleep in his bed. I used +sometimes to do it before, and my father always kept his arms about me.” + +His mother's features became convulsed, and she looked up in mute +affliction to heaven; but still, notwithstanding her misery, she was +unable to shed one tear. + +“Pulse of my heart” (cushla machree), she said, kissing him, “you +must have your innocent and loving wish.” She then gently raised the +bed-clothes and placed him beside his father. + +The poor pale boy sat up in the bed for about a minute, during which he +glanced at the still features of the departed, then at his mother, and +then at the pool of blood on the floor, and again he shuddered. All at +once, however, he started and looked about him; but in a manner +that betokened delight rather than alarm--his eyes brightened--and an +expression almost of radiance settled upon his face. “Mother,” said he, +“kiss me, and let Mr. Harman kiss me.” + +They both did so, and his poor mother felt her heart relieved, by the +happiness depicted on his face. “Glory be to God,” she exclaimed, “see +what a change for the better has come over my blessed child.” + +Father Roche looked at Harman, and shook his head--“Blessed he will be +soon,” said he, in a low whisper, “the child is dying.” + +The boy started again, and the former serenity lit up his pale features. + +“Bryan, you are better, darling of my life; you look a thousand pounds +better than you did awhile ago.” + +The boy looked into her face and smiled.---“I am,” said he, “but did you +not hear it?” + +“Hear what, jewel of my heart?” + +“There it is again;” said he, looking eagerly and delightfully about +him, “my father's voice;--that's three times it called, me, but it +didn't come from the bed, although he's in it. I will kiss him and then +sleep--but I will miss his arms from about me, I think.” + +He then fixed himself beside that loving parent, aided by his mother, +and getting his arm around his pulseless neck, he kissed him, and laying +down his fair head, he fell asleep in that affecting posture. There was +a solemn stillness for some minutes, and a strange feeling of fear crept +over his mother's heart. She looked into the eyes of those who were +about her, but the looks they returned to her carried, no consolation to +her spirit. + +“My child,” she exclaimed--“Oh, my child, what is this? Bryan, my +life--my light, what ails you?” She stooped, and gently turning him +about so as to see his face, she looked keenly into it for a few +moments, and there certainly was the same seraphic expression which so +lately lit it tip. Still she felt dissatisfied, till putting her ear to +his mouth and her hand to his heart, the woeful truth became known to +her. The guiltless spirit of her fair-haired son had followed, that of +his father. + +When the afflicted widow saw the full extent of her loss, she clasped +her hands together, and rose up with something of a hasty movement. She +looked about the miserable cabin for a moment, and then peered into +the face of every one in the room--all of whom, with the exception of +Raymond, were in tears. She then pressed her temples, as if striving +to recollect what had happened--sat down again beside her husband and +child, and to their astonishment began to sing an old and melancholy +Irish air, in a voice whose wild sweetness was in singular keeping with +its mournful spirit. + +To the bystanders this was more affecting a thousand times than the most +vehement and outrageous grief. Father Roche, however, who had had a +much more comprehensive experience than his companion, knew, or at least +hoped that it would not last long. + +Several of the neighbors, having seen the dead body of the constable +borne away, suspected that something extraordinary had occurred on the +mountain, and consequently came flocking to the cabin, anxious to +know the truth. By this means, their acquaintances were brought +about them--aid in every shape, as far as it could be afforded, was +administered, and in a short time they had a little stock of meal, +butter, milk, candles, and such other simple comforts as their poor +friends and neighbors had to bestow. Such is the usual kindness of +the Irish people to each other in moments of destitution and sorrow. +Nothing, on the present occasion, could surpass their anxiety in +ascertaining the wants of this unhappy family: and in such circumstances +it is that the honest prompting of the humble heart, and its sincere +participation in the calamities of its kindred poor, are known to shine +forth with a lustre, which nothing but its distance from the observation +of the great, or their own wilful blindness to it, could prevent it from +being seen and appreciated as it ought. + +Having seen her surrounded by friends and neighbors, Father Roche, after +first offering as far as he thought he could reasonably attempt it, some +kind advice and consolation, prepared to take his departure with Harman, +leaving Raymond behind them, who indeed refused to go. “No,” said he, +“I can feed Dickey here--but sure they'll want me to run messages--I'm +active and soople, an I'll go to every place, for the widow can't. But +tell me, is the purty boy, the fair haired boy asleep, or what?--tell +me?” + +“Why do you ask, Raymond?” said Father Rocche. + +“Bekase I love him,” replied Raymond, “and I hope he'll waken! I would +like to see him kiss his father again--but I'm afeared somehow I never +will. If he awakens I'll give him the cock any how--bad luck to me but I +will.” + +“Hush,” said the priest, whilst a tear started to his eye at this most +artless exhibition of affection for the child--“don't swear, Raymond. +The sweet boy will never waken in this world; but he will in heaven, +where he is awake already, and where you will see him again.” + +“I would rather see him here,” replied the other; “and I wish I had +gev him the cock first, when he came out of the room; but what'd she do +without his white head before her?--what'll she do, and not have that +to look at? But stop,” said Raymond--“wait a minute, and we'll soon see +whether he'll waken or not.” + +He then went into the little room where the poor child had lain during +his illness, and immediately returned, bearing the cock in his hands-- + +“Wait,” said he; “I was bringing the bird to poor little Brian, for I +promised it to him. We'll see--we'll see.” + +As he uttered the words, he placed the bird down on the child's bosom +and called out-- + +“Brian, here's your present for you, that I promised you--won't you +waken?--spake open your blue eyes, achora machree, and look at the fine +bird I brought you.” + +It was a most affecting little incident; for the contrast between the +fiery scintillations flashed from the eye of the noble bird, the utter +unbroken stillness of death, as character was so mournfully impressed +upon the fair sweet features of innocence, was indeed such as few +parental hearts could withstand. Raymond looked awhile as if even he had +been struck by it. + +“Ah no,” said he, going down to his mother; “no, Mary, he will never +waken--and then what will you do for Brian's white head?” + +“Whisht!” she replied; “whisht, and I'll sing you a song. I have nothing +else to do now but to sing and be happy-- + + “'Farewell father, farewell mother, + Farewell friends, and farewell foes! + I now will go and court some other, + For love it was the causer of all my woes.” + +“An' so it was,” she said; “for I did love some one, I think; but who +they were, or where they are gone to, I cannot tell. Is your name,” + she added, her eye blazing as she spoke to Raymond, “is your, name +M'Clutchy?” + +“Say it is,” suggested one of the neighbors; “may be it may startle the +poor thing into her senses.” + +“That's not very likely,” replied another, “for it has startled her out +of them--God in his mercy pity her!” + +Raymond, however, adopted the first suggestion, without knowing why; and +said in a loud voice-- + +“Ay is it; my name is Val the Vulture, that commands the blood-hounds.” + +The creature started--became for a moment as if convulsed--then +proceeded at a speed that was incredible, screaming frightfully, across +the dark and desolate scenery that surrounded the house. It was vain to +pursue her; for there was none there capable of doing it with success, +unless Raymond, who understood not that she had become insane. + + + + +CHAPTER IX.--A Dialogue, exhibiting Singular Principles of Justice + +--Solomon's Tracts and Triumph--A Sincere Convert--Darby's Views of +Religion--Poll Doolin's Honesty--Solomon's Christian Generosity to a +Man in Difficulty--M'Loughlin and his Family. + + +The extraordinary scene which we have just detailed as occurring in the +mountain hut, took place on Saturday morning and about twelve on the +subsequent Monday, the following dialogue passed between honest Val! and +his son, Philip the graceful. + +“That was a most unlucky accident that happened Harpur on Saturday,” + said Val, dryly, and looking with a good deal of significance at the +other. + +“Unlucky,” said Phil, “faith and honor, my good father, I don't know +what to think.” + +“You don't, Phil!” replied Val; “why, what the deuce could you deem more +unlucky than to be shot stone dead, without a moment's notice.” + +Phil's color went a little at the bare notion of such a fate; but on +observing an expression of peculiar complacency lurking in his father's +eye, it returned again, and after a little assurance settled down into +its original hue. + +“To himself certainly,” said Phil, “it was a bad business; no one can +deny that.” + +“But, my excellent son, Phil, it may turn out a very lucky incident for +us in the mean time. He is, Phil, a wise man in this world who can +turn the misfortunes or crimes of others to his own advantage. There +is Harman for instance, Phil; now I believe you are not excessively +attached to him.” + +“I hate him as I do hell,” replied Phil. + +“Very good--you hate him as you do hell--well, on the other hand, there +is M'Loughlin, his partner in the manufactory, and his joint lessee in +their farm--now I hate him as I do--I was about to say the devil--but I +feel loth to render that misrepresented gentleman an injustice--that +is, if there be such a gentleman--which, with my worthy father, I much +doubt. Don't you think now it is a fortunate thing that we can indict +Harman for Harpur's murder. I really think, and it is said, he murdered +him. We would include the priest in the indictment as accessory, but +that might be attended with personal danger--and the less real danger we +incur the better for ourselves.” + +“Faith and honor, father, that doctrine's worthy of an oracle--as, +indeed, most of what you say is.” + +“But mark me, Phil; our object is simply his ruin, not his death. Let +us beggar M'Loughlin and him, and drive them out of the country. +No--no--not the death of either of them; on the contrary, I should wish +them to live, if it was only that they might feel my revenge--and that +I knew they felt it. I would not hang them if I could, for my own sake.” + He got pale, ground his teeth, knit his black beetle brow, and exhibited +the diabolical cast of features for which he was remarkable whenever his +evil passions began to stir in his heart. + +“Now,” said he to Phil, “keep a close mouth above all things, for we +must proceed with caution. I have here a letter from Lord Cumber, in +which, at my private suggestion, he declines to renew their leases. +Indeed, on serious consideration, I have recently advised him to grant +no renewals, except in cases where every reliance can be placed upon +the principles of the parties. The want of a lease is a very wholesome +restriction on the conduct of our enemies. M'Slime opposes me in this, +because he cannot pocket as much as usual; but though I cannot readily +break with him, still, I trust, that in a short time I shall be able to +turn his flank in a manner for which he is but little prepared. I have +reason to think he is tampering with O'Drive--in fact O'Drive told me as +much--O'Drive, however, is at work for me, although honest Solomon +does not suspect him. The pious attorney, who is bestowing more of his +attention to religion than ever, has got bitten by the Conversion mania, +and thinks he will be charged with a neglect of his gifts, as he calls +them, unless he can produce a live convert actually made by his own +hands. I accordingly suggested to O'Drive to consult him on some +religious scruples that he is supposed to have felt from the perusal of +a tract written by M'Slime himself. + +“Why,” said Phil, “are you not aware that he gave me three or four dozen +of them for gratuitous distribution, as he calls it. Yes, it is called +'The Religious Attorney,' being a reconcilement between honesty and +law, or a blessed union between light and darkness; by Solomon M'Slime, +attorney at law. + +“Which tract,” continued Val, “was written for the sole purpose of +recommending himself to the notice of the religious world aforesaid, +more, by the way, as an attorney than as a Christian. And a very good +speculation it proved, for, whereas he was then scarcely able to make +both ends meet by mere professional roguery, and dressed in a black +gown--which you know he always wears in court--yet he no sooner threw +the cloak of religion over that, than he advanced rapidly--and the +consequence is that he is now privately a usurious discounter of bills.” + +“Faith and honor, now, father, do you,tell me so?” + +“It's a fact, Philip, my son, and what is more--but the truth is, that +neither he nor I can afford to quarrel with each other.” + +“Why, father? what's that 'more' you were going to add?” + +“At this present time, Phil, it must bo secret--but it is arranged +between him and me, that he is to succeed Harman in Beleveen; whilst you +are to come in for M'Loughlin's holding.” + +“For which I shall have the pleasure,to drink your health to-night, my +old boy--upon my honor and soul you are an excellent old cock, and I'm +very proud of you.” + +“Go ahead, Phil; no nonsense. But stay, are those fellows of mine come +yet?--I shall receive their informations, and have Harman in the stone +jug before night. It is a bad case of murder committed upon a man in the +execution of the law, do you see, Phil, and consequently I cannot take +bail.” + +“No, certainly not, captain--as Darby says, certainly not, plaise your +worship--ha, ha!” + +“Come, Phil, keep quiet; it is now time that operations should seriously +commence. I have gained most of my points, thank--Valentine M'Clutchy, +at all events. I am head agent; you are my Deputy-master of an Orange +Lodge--a Magistrate, and write J.P. after my name--Captain and Paymaster +in the Castle Cumber cavalry, and you lieutenant; and though last, not +least, thanks to my zeal and activity in the Protestant cause, I am at +length a member of the Grand Panel of the county. Phil, my boy, there is +nothing like religion and loyalty when well managed, but otherwise--” + +“They are not worth a feather,” replied Phil; “right, captain--there's +an oracle again.” + +“And, Phil, my son; what is there wrong in this? In fact there is +scarcely a better capital to trade on than religion and loyalty. You +know what I mean, Phil;--not the things, if there be such things, which +I must beg leave to doubt; but that principle which causes one man to +hate another, in proportion to its influence over him.” + +“Ay,” said Phil, “just as you and I, who have not got a touch of +religion in our whole composition, have the character of being two of +the staunchest Protestants in the county.” + +“Yes,” replied the father, “and in this case the fiction is as good +and better than the truth. The fiction, Phil, under which our religion +appears is our own interests--no, I am wrong--the fiction under which +our interest appeal's is our religion--that is the way of it; and +the truth is, Phil, that ninety-nine men out of every hundred will +go ninety-nine miles for their interests, before they will go one for +either religion or truth--that's the way of it, too. However, pass +that--now about Poll Doolin and the hint I gave you?” + +“Why, you know at that time matters were not ripe for it. Don't you +remember telling me so yourself?” + +“I do, but I speak of your present intentions.” + +“Faith, my present intentions would be to marry the girl, Papist though +she be, if I could; but as that's out of the question, I will now follow +up your hint.” + +“Then you had better see Poll, and go on with it. Are you aware, +besides, that the concern is tottering?” + +“The manufactory! No--is that possible?” + +“It is a fact; but you know not how honest Solomon and I have been at +work. It is tottering, Lieutenant M'Clutchy, and in a short time you +will see what you shall see.” + +“Well,” said Phil, “so far everything is turning out very fortunate for +us--but I think, Captain, that you are one of those men who are born +under what they call a lucky planet;--eh? old boy?” + +“Well, I think so; but in the meantime see Poll Doolin, and after that +pay a visit to my father. The old scoundrel is upon his last legs, and +there can be no harm in paying him some attention now. You are not a +favorite of his; so smooth him down as much as you can. I don't myself +expect that he will remember either of us in his will; but, as he is +hasty and capricious, it is difficult to say what effect a favorable +impression might have upon him.” + +“Neither are you a favorite with Isabel, or Jezabel, as he calls her.” + +“No, I made a bad move there--but, after all, what did I, or rather, +what could I lose by neglecting her? Did she not succeed in banishing +every one of his relatives from about him? It was neither her interest +nor her inclination to keep in with his friends:--go and see him, at all +events; reconnoitre, and report accordingly--and now if these fellows +are come let them be sent in.” + +Phil accordingly withdrew to follow up his own speculations, and in a +few minutes our friends, who so bravely distinguished themselves in the +widow's cabin, entered the office. Val, like most men of his class and +experience, was forced to undergo strong contests between the vanity +occasioned by his success in life, and his own shrewd sense and acute +perception of character. Whenever he could indulge that vanity without +allowing its gratification to be perceived by others, he always did so; +but if he happened to have a person to deal with, whom he suspected of +a sufficiently keen penetration, his own sagacity always checked its +display. No man ever puzzled him so thoroughly as O'Drive, who so +varied and timed his flattery, as to keep him in a state of perpetual +alternation between a perception of the fellow's knavery, and a belief +in his simplicity of heart. On one occasion he would exclaim to himself +or Phil, “This O'Drive is a desperate knave,--it's impossible that he +can be honest;” and again, “Well, well; there is too much simplicity +there, too much truth unnecessarily told, to allow me to consider that +poor devil a rogue--no, he is honest.” The consequence was, that Darby +flattered him, and he relished it so strongly because he did not imagine +it was intentional, that Darby understood his weak points, in that +respect, better than any man living. This, in a country where the people +are shrewd observers in general, could scarcely be supposed to escape +their observation; nor did it. Darby's manner was so naturally imitated +by others, that even the keen and vigilant Valentine M'Olutchy was +frequently over-reached without being at all conscious of the fact. + +When the men of the Castle Cumber corps came in, they found their +captain sitting, or rather lolling, in a deep-seated arm-chair, dressed +in a morning-gown and red morocco slippers. He was, or appeared to be, +deeply engaged over a pile of papers, parchments, and letters, and for +about a minute raised not his head. At length he drew a long breath, +and exclaimed in a soliloquy--“just so, my lord, just so; every man that +scruples to support the Protestant interests will meet no +countenance from you;--'nor shall he, Mr. M'Clutchy, from you, as my +representative,' you add--'and I beg you'”--he went on to road a few +lines further--“'to transmit me the names and capacities of all +those who are duly active on my property in suppressing disturbance, +convicting criminals, and preserving the peace; especially those who are +remarkable for loyal and constitutional principles; such are the men we +will cherish, such are the men we must and ought to serve.' It is very +true, my lord, it is very true indeed, and--oh! my friends, I beg your +pardon! I hadn't noticed you--oh, dear me! how is this? why I didn't +imagine you had been so sadly abused as all this comes to--this is +dreadful, and all in resisting the king's warrant against the murderer. +But how did it happen that this Harman murdered our poor friend Harpur?” + +“Harpur is done for, captain, sure enough; there's no doubt of that.” + +“Well, it's one comfort that we live in a country where there is +justice, my friends. Of course you will prosecute him for this +diabolical murder; I sent for you to receive your informations, and we +shall lodge him in gaol before night.” + +“I would rather prosecute that Blackguard Rimon-a-hattha,” said a +man, whose head was awfully swollen, and bound up with a handkerchief, +“Rimon, Captain, is the greatest rascal of the two--he is, by, Japurs.” + +“Yes, but is he not an idiot, Johnston? In point of law he is only a +fiction, and cannot be prosecuted.” + +“Fiction, Captain! Sowl, I don't know what you call a fiction--but if +I'm guessin' properly, hell to the much of it was in his blows--look at +how my head is, and I wish you could see my ribs, plase your worship.” + +“Well but let us come to the most important matter first--and before +I go further, my friends and brothers, I would just throw out for +your satisfaction, a few observations that I wish to impress upon you. +Recollect that in this business, and in every business like it, you must +have the pleasure at least of reflecting that you have now a magistrate +who will see that all due care is taken of your interests--who will +accompany your proceedings step by step, and see that all is as it ought +to be. That is not partiality, my dear friends; that is not favor nor +affection, nor leaning to you; no, nor--ha, ha, ha, leaning from you, +either, my friends.” + +“Long life to your worship! Long life to you, Captain! You're the right +sort, and no mistake.” + +“M'Dowel, what detained you from your lodge on Thursday night.” + +“I was buying a springer in Hush fair, and didn't get home in time, your +worship.” + +“Well, M'Dowel, mark-me,--I neither can, nor will, overlook neglect in +these matters. The man that neglects them wilfully, is a man I won't +depend upon--and two of your neighbors were absent from parade on +Wednesday week. Now, it's really too bad to expect that I, or any other +gentleman in the country, will exert ourselves so strenuously to sustain +and extend our own principles, or! to speak plainly, to keep them up--to +maintain our ascendancy,--if we cannot reckon upon the earnest and +cordial support of those for whose sake we take all this trouble--upon +my honor it's a shame.” + +“It is a shame, Captain, and I say here's one,” placing his hand upon +his heart, “of the right kidney. By the holy William, there is.” + +“We're all so, your worship,” replied Sharpe, “and sure every one knows +it--but, plaise your honor, what's to be done about Harman?” + +“Why, prosecute him for the murder of course.” + +“But then,” said one of them, “sure Harman didn't murder him, +Captain--among ourselves, it was all accident.” + +M'Clutchy seemed surprised at this, and after hearing their individual +opinions, which indeed, conflicted very much, some positively asserting +that he did, and others that he did not, murder the man, he began to +view the matter in a somewhat different and more cautious light. He +mused for some time; however, and after a second and more deliberate +investigation, finding that there were two for the murder and only one +against it, he at length took their informations, resolving to bring the +matter to trial at all hazards. The warrant for Harmon's apprehension +was accordingly issued, and entrusted to a dozen of the most resolute +fellows in his corps; who so far enabled our magistrate to fulfil his +intention, that they lodged his enemy in the county prison that very +night. + +The next morning, when reading the papers, our Captain was not a little +surprised at reading in one of them an advertisement to the following +effect: + +“To the public--found, in the office of Mr. Solomon M'Slime, a Bank +of Ireland Note, of large amount. The person losing it may have it by +giving a proper description of same, and paying the expenses of this +advertisement. N. B.--It is expected, as the loser of the note must be +in affluent circumstances, that he will, from principles of Christian +sympathy, contribute, or enable some Christian friend to contribute, a +moderate donation to some of our greatest public charities. Thus will +that which at the first view appears to be serious calamity, be made, +under Him, a blessing and a consolation, not only to the wealthy +individual who lost the money, but to some of our destitute fellow +creatures. This, however, is not named as a condition, but merely as a +suggestion offered from motives of benignity and duty. + +“Also, just published, _The Religious Attorney_; being a reconcilement +between Honesty and Law; or a blessed Union between Light and Darkness. +By S. M'S. Tenth Thousand. + +“Also, in the Press, and will soon be published, done up neatly in +foolscap, and rogue's binding for cheapness, by the same author, _The +Converted Bailiff_; being designed as a companion to _The Religious +Attorney_. These productions need not be sought for with any of the +profane booksellers of the city; but only at the Religious Depositories, +or at those godly establishments in Sackville street and College green.” + +This, however, was not all. In a different column appeared the +following; which, however, did not surprise M'Clutchy: + + “Glorious Triumph of Religious Truth. + +“In another part of our paper, our readers will perceive in an +advertisement, an additional proof, if such were necessary, of the +strong integrity of that ornament of his profession, both as an Attorney +and Christian, Mr. Solomon M'Slime. This gentleman, whilst he devotes +himself, with a pure and guileless heart, to the extensive practice +which his high principles and great skill have gained him in his +profession, does not neglect the still higher and more important +interests of himself and his fellow creatures. It is a gracious thing to +know that a spirit of deep and earnest inquiry is now abroad, by which +hundreds are, under God, brought from darkness to light--from the gall +of bitterness and the bond of iniquity, out into the freedom of perfect +day. Verily there is a new Reformation abroad--the strongholds of +Popery are fast falling one after another. In the neighborhood of +Mount-starve-'em, the spirit has been poured out most abundantly; +and this manifestation is the more gracious, when we reflect that the +dreadful famine which now prevails throughout the country, has been made +(always under Him) the precious but trying means of bringing the poor +benighted creatures to taste the fruits of a better faith. Nothing, +indeed, can equal the bounty of that excellent nobleman, Lord------, +who supplies beef and blankets--Bibles and bread--to those who may +be likened to the multitude that were fed so miraculously in the +wilderness--that is to say, who followed the good shepherd for his +doctrine, and were filled with bread. Mr. M'Slime, who has within +his own humble sphere not been inactive, can boast at least of having +plucked one brand out of the burning, in the person of Darby O'Drive, +the respectable bailiff of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., the benevolent +agent of the Castle Cumber estate--to which Mr. M'Slime himself is law +agent. It is understood that on next Sabbath (D.V.) Mr. O'Drive will +make a public profession of his faith--or, in other words, “that he will +recant the errors of Popery, and embrace those of Protestantism.” * The +merit of his conversion is due--but merit there is none--to Mr. +M'Slime, or rather to his two very popular and searching tracts, called, +'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace,' and 'The Religious Attorney,' +which he had placed for perusal in Mr. O'Drive's hands. Mr. O'Drive now +declares himself a Babe of Grace, and free from the bonds of sin; or, +as he more simply, but truthfully and characteristically expresses it--a +beautiful specimen indeed of his simplicity of views--'he is replevined +from the pound of human fraility--no longer likely to be brought to +the devil's auction, or knocked down to Satan as a bad bargain.'--For +ourselves, we cannot help thinking that this undoubted triumph of +religious truth, in the person of Darby O'Drive, is as creditable to the +zeal of Mr. M'Slime, as it is to his sincerity. Encouraged by this +great success, Mr. M'Slime, seconded by several of our leading +controversialists, has succeeded in getting up a polemical discussion, +on the merits of the Protestant and Popish creeds. The particulars have +not been decided upon, but they shall probably appear in an early number +of our paper. In the meantime we are authorized by Mr. Darby O'Drive +to issue a formal challenge to any Popish and idolatrous bailiff in +Ireland, to discuss with him the relative powers, warrants, processes, +triumphs, conflagrations, and executions of their resspective churches.” + + * This expression has been attributed to Faulkner, the + printer of Swift's works; but it is much more likely that it + belongs to the Dean himself. + +He had scarcely finished this characteristic paragraph, when O'Drive's +knock, as usual, was heard, and in a few minutes the redoubted champion +and challenger entered. There was a knavish demureness about him, and a +kind of comic solemnity in his small, cunning gray eye, that no painter +could copy. + +“Why, you scoundrel,” said Val, “you're overdoing the thing altogether; +is it possible that M'Slime is such a spooney as not to see through +you?” + +“Ah, Captain, you don't make any allowance for my simplicity; sure you +know, sir, I must grow young and innocent, if I'm to become a babe of +grace, your worship.” + +“But what's the meaning of all this work about discussions and such +stuff?” + +“Faith, sir, it's all thrue enough at any rate; we're to have a +religious field day here in the Sessions house of Castle Cumber; the +whole thing is regulated--the seconds, and bottle houlders, and all is +appointed. There's the Rev. Christopher Gammon, Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug, +who's powerful against Popery, the Rev. Bernard Brimstone, and the Rev. +Phineas Lucre, with many more on the side of truth. On that of Popery +and falsehood there's the Rev. Father M'Stake, the Rev. Father O'Flary, +the Rev. Father M'Fire, and the Rev. Nicholas O'Scorch, D.D. Dr. Sombre +is to be second on our side; and Father M'Fud on the part of Popery and +idolatry.” + +“And when is this precious spouting match to take place, you rascal?” + +“Why, sir, on Monday week; and on next Sunday, sir, I'm to read my +rekintation, plaise God.” + +“But I didn't intend that you should go to such lengths as +that--however, that's your own affair.” + +“But, Captain ahagur, sure it's on your account I'm doin' it--won't it +enable me to get the blind side of him about one or two tilings we want +to come at.” + +“Indeed, I believe certainly, that if he has a blind side at all, it is +his own hypocrisy.” + +“Be my soul, and it'll go hard or we'll worm out the sacret we want. +There is one tiling I'm sartin of, he thinks, now that I'm turnin' by +the way, that I'm ready to desart and desave you, Captain, an' indeed he +says many things of you that he ought not to' say.” + +“Let us hear them.” + +“Why, sir, he said the other day--but sorra one o' me likes to be +repeatin' these things.” + +“Come, come, you rascal, out with it.” + +“He said, sir, that he feared the divil had a hard howlt o you--that was +the day I brought him the last letter, sir--that your heart, Captain, +was full o' desate, and damnably wicked, plase your worship, and that if +you didn't improve your morals you'd go where there is--something about +gnashing of teeth, your honor.” + +“He's a double distilled scoundrel,” replied Val, bitterly, “and +although I know him well, I am determined still to know him better.” + +“Double distilled!--ay, faith, rectified many degrees above proof; but +never mind; if I don't put a spoke in his wheel, I'm not here.” + +“Well, never mind now, either--give the hypocritical little scoundrel +this letter.” + +“I will, and thank you, Captain! God bless your honor, and grant you +'long to reign over us, happy and glorious, God save the king! armin.' +You see, captain, I've the right strain of loyalty in me, any how, ha, +ha, ha! Throth, if I ever change in airnest, it isn't among the yallow +bellies I'll go; but into his majesty's own church, Captain Val--the +brave church where they have the bells, and the big blessed lookin' +bishops, and their organs and coaches; aye, faith, and where everything +is dacent and jintlemanly. Sure blood alive, Captain Val, beggin' +your pardon, what's the use of a religion if it's not respectable and +ginteel? What signifies a ministher of any religion, if he hasn't a fat +purse in his pocket, and a good round belly before him, for that shows, +plaise your worship, that religion is more than a name, any how; an' +upon my conscience--oh, holy Moses, Captain Val, if M'Slime was to +hear me swearin' this way! God pardon me! how-and-ever, but upon +my conscience, it isn't the religion that keeps a man poor, but the +religion that puts the flesh on his bones, and keeps it there, that is +the right one--aye, and not only that, but that keeps a good coat on +his back, your honor, and a good pair of breeches to his posterals--for +which raison, whenever I do sariously turn it'll be--but you may +guess--it'll be to the only true and loyal church;--for when a man +can get both fat, and loyal, and religious, all at one move, he's a +confounded fool that won't become religious.” + +This certainly, though not intended for it, was a true and bitter +comment upon the principles of such men as M'Clutchy, who considered +a profane and licentious attachment to a mere Establishment as a high +duty, not because that establishment was the exponent of divine truth, +but of a mere political symbol, adopted by subordinate and secular aids, +to bind men of the same principles together. + +“Begone, you rascal, and confound your dissertation. Go and deliver the +letter, as I desired you, and bring me an answer.” + +“Sartinly, Captain, and will have an eye about me, into the bargain. How +is Captain Phil, sir, before I go?” + +M'Clutchy made a motion of indignation, but could not, in the meantime, +altogether repress a smile; and Darby, taking his hat with a kind of +shrewd and confidential grin, ran out of the office. + +Our narrative now passes to the house of Poll Doolin, which was situated +in a row of cottages towards the north side of Castle Cumber. Her son +Raymond and she were its only inmates, and the former was in the act of +replacing a hat among the _tria juncta in uno_, which he always wore. + +“Raymond,” said his mother, “now that you've got your supper, you must +keep house till I come back.” + +“Must I indeed?---why must I? answer me that, there now, that's one.” + +“Becase I'm goin' out on business.” + +“What business?--where to?--what brought Phil M'Clutchy here +yestherday?--tell me that--eh?” + +“Oh, I couldn't tell you that, Raymond.” + +“Don't do anything for Phil, he's Val's son, that keeps the +blood-hounds. Ah, poor Brian, and his white head--no', he'll never +waken--never waken--an' what has she now to look at! Mother, I'd give +all the cocks I ever had to see him and his white head in his mother's +arms again--God's curse on Val! God's curse on him! I hate him--I hate +Phil--I hate all of them--don't mother; do nothing for them.” + +“You foolish boy, what do you know about it?--keep the house till I come +back, and I'll bring you a pennyworth of tobaccy?” + +“But you will go?” said Raymond. + +“I must, you fool.” + +“Very well, then, take it out o' that--there now, that's one.” + +It was now drawing on towards dusk, and Poll, assuming her black bonnet, +and throwing her black cloak about her shoulders, sallied out with that +furtive air which always accompanies one who is conscious of something +that requires concealment. Her motions always were rapid, but on +this occasion she walked like one whose mind brooded lover +difficulties--sometimes she went very quick, then slackened her pace, +and once or twice stood still, musing with her right hand to her chin. +At length she reached the residence of Brian M'Loughlin, just after +night had set it--she entered not, but glided about the house, waited, +watched, listened, and peeped into the house, very like a thief that +was setting the premises. Ultimately she took her stand at a particular +window in the rear of the building, where she kept watch with great +patience, though for what purpose it would appear very difficult to +guess. Patience, however, is often rewarded, and it was so in the case +before us. After about half an hour a light fell through the glass, and +Poll, availing herself of the opportunity, tapped gently: at first +it was not noticed, and she tapped again, somewhat louder; this was +successful--a gentle voice inquired in tones more of surprise than +alarm, “who is there, and what is your business!” + +“A friend,” said Poll. + +“Poll Doolin!” + +“The same, and I'm here on a case of life and death. Could you come out +for a start--three minutes will do.” + +“Certainly not--you trifled unnecessarily with my feelings before--I +will have no more mysteries. I can raise the window, however, and +anything you have to say can be said where we stand.” She raised the sash +as she spoke. “Now,” said she “what is your business, Poll?” + +“Life and death, as I said,” replied Poll “Do you not know that Mr. +Harman is to be tried for murder, and that the assizes will open in a +few days?” + +“Unfortunately I do,” replied Mary, sighing deeply, “but there can be no +doubt of his acquittal. Father Roche has been here, who was present, and +told us how the whole circumstance occurred.” + +“I don't doubt that,” said Poll, “but this I tell you, and this you may +rely on, that hang he will, in spite of fate; he's doomed.” + +“Great God!” exclaimed the now terrified girl, “you chill the blood in +my veins--doomed!--what do you mean, Poll?” + +“M'Clutchy will have him hanged in spite of all opposition--you know his +power now--he can carry everything his own way.” + +“I know,” replied the other, “that his influence is unfortunately great, +no doubt, and cruelly is it exercised; but still, I don't know that he +can carry everything his own way.” + +“Do you know what packing a jury means?” + +“Alas!” replied Mary, starting, and getting pale, “I do indeed, Poll. I +have heard of it too frequently.” + +“What, then, has the Vulture, the blood-hound, to do, but to get twelve +Orangemen upon the jury, and the work is done?” + +The unhappy girl burst into tears, and wrung her hands, for, however +questionable the veracity of her present informant, she knew, from the +unfortunate circumstances of the country, that such corrupt influences +had too frequently been exerted. + +“Don't you know,” added Poll, “that the thing can be done? Isn't the +sheriff himself an Orangeman--isn't the sub-sheriff an Orangeman--isn't +the grand jury Orange, aren't they all Orange through other?” + +“I believe so, indeed,” said Mary, still weeping bitterly, “and there +is, I fear, little or no hope.” + +“Well, but,” replied Poll, “what if I could give you hope?” + +“You, Poll, what can you mean? You!” + +“Yes, me,” said Poll, “poor as I stand here now.” + +“Well, but how?” + +“Through them that can turn old Val the Vulture round their finger. What +do you think brought me here--or who do you think sent me? Don't you +know that I have no raison to like a bone in the skin of one o' your +family, and that it's more, of coorse, to plaise others than myself that +I'm here; but, over and above that, you, Miss M'Loughlin, never offended +or injured me, and I'm willin' to sarve you in this business, if you +will sarve yourself.” + +“But, how--but, how?” replied the distracted girl, “only tell me how?” + +“There is one, and only one, that can twist Val round his finger, and +in this same business is willing to do so--and that one is his own son, +Phil.” + +Mary stood for a moment without even breathing; indeed, she exhibited +strong symptoms of disgust at his very name. + +“He is a person I detest,” she replied, “beyond any human creature.” + +“That may be,” said Poll, “but still he can save the man that is to be +your husband; and that's what you ought to think of--the time is short +now, and the loss of a day may ruin all. Listen Miss M'Loughlin:--Mr. +Phil desired me to say to you, that if you will allow him a few minutes' +conversation with you behind the garden, about dusk or a little after +it, he'll satisfy you that he can and will save him--but it must be on +the condition of seeing you, as I say.” + +“Let him be generous,” she replied, “and impose no such condition.” + +“He won't interfare on any other terms,” replied Poll; “he knows, it +seems, that you have an unfavorable opinion of him, and he wishes to +prove to you that he doesn't desarve it.” + +Mary paused for some time, and appeared very much distressed. I fear, +thought she, it is selfish in me to think of my own feelings, or to have +a moment's hesitation in sacrificing them to his safety. It is certainly +a disgusting task to meet this man; but what ought I not to do, +consistent with conscious rectitude of motive, to save my dear Harman's +life, for I fear the circumstances come to that. + +“Well, then, Poll, if I meet this man, mark me, it is solely for the +purpose of striving to save Mr. Harman's life; and observe, because Mr. +M'Clutchy is ungenerous enough to make my meeting him the condition of +his interference.” + +“That,” said Poll, “is for yourself to consider; but surely you would +be a strange girl, if you refused to meet him for such a purpose. That +would be a quare way of showing your love to Mr. Harman.” + +“I shall meet him, then,” said Mary, “at the stile behind the garden; +and may God direct and protect me in what I purpose!” + +Poll gave no amen, to this, as it might be supposed she would have done, +but simply said-- + +“I'm glad, Miss M'Loughlin, that you're doin' what you are doin'. It'll +be a comfort maybe to yourself to reflect on it hereafther. Good night, +Miss.” + +Mary bade her good night, and after closing the shutters of her room +which she had come to do, retired; and with an anxious heart returned to +the parlor. + +M'Loughlin's family consisted of three sons and but one daughter, Mary, +with whom our readers are already acquainted. The eldest, James, was a +fine young man of twenty-three; the second, Tom, was younger than Mary, +who then was entering her twenty-first; and the youngest, called Brian, +after his father, was only eighteen. The honest fellow's brow was +clouded with a deep expression of melancholy, and he sat for some time +silent after Mary's return to the parlor. At length he said in a kind of +soliloquy-- + +“I wish, _Raymond-na-hattha_, you had been behind the Slievbeen +Mountains that bitter morning you came for James Harman!” + +“If he had,” said Tom, “poor James wouldn't be where he is to-night.” + +“But I hope, father,” said Mary, in a voice which though it trembled a +little, yet expressed a certain portion of confidence--“I hope as it +was an accident, that there will not be any serious risk.” + +“I would be sorry to take any hope out of your heart that's in it, +Mary; but, still, I can't forget that Val the Vulture's his bitterest +enemy--and we all know what he's capable of doing. His son, too, +graceful Phil, is still worse against him than the father, especially +ever since Harman pulled his nose for what he said of Mary here. Did I +ever mention it to you?” + +“No, sir,” replied Mary, coloring without exactly knowing why, “you +never did.” + +“I was present,” said young Brian, “but it wasn't so much for what he +said, for he got afraid, but the way he looked.” + +“The scoundrel,” said James, indignantly, “well Brian--” + +“'Twas at the Ball Alley,” proceeded the young fellow, “in Castle +Cumber; Mary was passing homewards, and Phil was speaking to long Tom +Sharpe, father to one of the blood-hounds. 'That's a purty girl,' said +Sharpe, 'who is she?' 'Oh,' says Phil, 'an acquaintance of mine--but I +can say no more honor bright,' and he winked one of his squinting eyes +as he spoke. James Harman who was standing behind him stepped forward, +'but I can say more,' said he, 'she's daughter to Brian M'Loughlin, and +no acquaintance of yours--and what is more, never will be; ay, and what +is more,' said James, 'here's a proof of it;' and as he spoke he pulled +Phil's proboscis, and then wiped his fingers in his purty face. 'Now, +you cowardly scoundrel,' he added, 'let that teach you not to speak of +any respectable female in such a tone, or to claim an acquaintance where +you have it not.'” + +“Never mind, my good fellow,” said Phil, “I'll make you smoke for this.” + +“You know where I'm to be found,” said James, “and your remedy too; but +you haven't the spirit to take it like a man--and so I leave you with +the white feather in your cap.” + +This anecdote for various reasons distressed Mary beyond relief. It +increased her detestation of young M'Clutchy to the highest possible +pitch, and rendered the very thought of him doubly odious to her heart. +Her understanding became bewildered, and for a while she knew not +what she said or did. Taking a candle and attempting to conceal her +agitation, she withdrew again to her own room, where she sat for nearly +half an hour endeavoring to shape her tumultuous thoughts into something +of clearness and order. + +M'Loughlin's brow, however, after her departure, still remained clouded. +“Misfortunes they say,” said he, “never come single; here is our +lease out, and we will not get a renewal notwithstanding the fine we +offered--and to mend the matter some good friend has spread a report +that the firm of M'Loughlin and Harman is unsafe. Our creditors are +coming down upon us fast--but it's the way of the world, every one +striving to keep himself safe. If these men were not set upon us by some +coward in the dark there would be neither loss nor risk to them nor to +us; but if they press on us out of the usual course, I fear we won't be +able to stand it. Then poor Harman, too! heighonee!” After some further +conversation, in which it was clear that M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's +manoeuvres had begun to develop themselves, Mary rejoined them. Her +countenance on her return was evidently more composed, and impressed +with a more decided, perhaps we should say, determined character. She +had made her mind up. M'Clutchy, junior, was no doubt one of the most +detastable of men, but as she knew that she hated him, and felt a +perfect consciousness of all that was truthful, and pure, and cautious +in herself, she came once more to the resolution of sacrificing her own +disgust to the noble object of saving her lover. Besides, it was by no +means an unreasonable hope on her part; for such was the state of party +and political feeling at the time, that wiser and more experienced heads +would have calculated rightly, and calculated as she did. + +“Father,” said she, on returning to the parlor, “don't be cast down too +much about Harman--I think, considering everything, that his case is far +from being hopeless. There is Father Roche--as for poor Mary O'Regan, in +consequence of her insanity, she unfortunately can be of no use--and +one of the blood-hounds are against the two others. Now, two to two, is +surely strong evidence in his favor.” + +She did not, however, make the slightest allusion to the grounds +on which she actually did rest her hope--that is to say, on Phil's +influence over his father. + +M'Loughlin was glad to see that her spirits were so much more improved +than they had been; and so far from uttering anything calculated, +to depress them, he appeared to feel much more easy in his mind than +before--and, perhaps, actually did so. + +“Well,” said he to his wife, who was a woman of few words but deep +feeling; “Kathleen, will you see that we get a glass of punch--the boys +and I; there can be no harm surely in drinking a ------; but it's time +enough to drink it when we see the liquor before us. Mary, avourneen, +as you are activer than your mother, will you undertake that duty?--do, +avillish machree.” + +In a few minutes Mary quietly but actively had the decanter, sugar, and +hot water before them; and Brian, having mixed a tumbler for himself, +and shoved the materials over to his two eldest boys, resumed the +conversation. + +“Come, boys; are you mixed?” + +“All ready, sir.” + +“Well, here's that James Harman may triumph over his enemies!” + +This was drank, we need not say, with an anxious and sincere heart. + +“Do you know now,” said M'Loughlin, “that I think there's a very great +difference between little M'Slime, and that Vulture of hell, M'Clutchy. +The little fellow came riding past to-day, and seeing me in the field, +he beckoned to me:-- + +“'I hope,' says he, 'that certain reports, which I was sorry to hear of, +are unfounded?' + +“'What reports, Mr. M'Slime?' says I to him. + +“'Why,' said he, 'it is not out of idle curiosity that I make the +inquiry, but I trust from better and more Christian motives;' and, upon +my conscience, the little fellow turned up his eyes towards heaven, in a +way that would shame Father Roche himself. Faith, if there wasn't truth +there, I don't know where you could get it. 'The reports I speak of,' +says he, 'touch the solvency of your firm.' + +“'Able to pay fifty shillings in a pound,' said I, not willing to +encourage the outcry. + +“'I'm delighted to hear it,' says generous little Solomon; 'but all I +have to say is, that if it had been otherwise, or should it actually be +otherwise, so far as a few hundred pounds go, you may draw upon a man--a +sinner--a frail mortal and an unworthy--named Solomon M'Slime. This,' he +went on, 'is not mere worldly friendship, Mr. M'Loughlin, that promises +much until the necessity arrives, and then do all such promises flee +as it were into the wilderness. No, my friend,' says the warm-hearted +little saint, 'no my friend, these offers are founded not on my own +strength, so to say, but upon those blessed precepts, Mr. M'Loughlin, +which teach us to love our neighbors as ourselves--and to do unto +others even as we wish they should do unto us.' He squeezed my hand, +and whispered in my ear--'As far as three hundred pounds go, should you +require it, rely on me; but harkee,' says he, 'and now,'--well, here's +his health--'and now,' says he, 'and now,'--oh! I knew he was in +earnest--'and now,' says he, 'one word with you--I trust--I hope, I may +say, that I am a Christian man, who would not speak aught against my +neighbor; but this, out of a principle of Christian kindness, I will +say;--beware of Valentine M'Clutchy. It is known there!' said he, +pointing his finger, and turning up his eyes to heaven--'it is known +there from what motives I speak this. I am glad I saw thee--peace be +with thee--farewell, and do not despise or overlook my services, or my +poor sinful offers.'” + +“Now,” said the simple-minded but upright and unsuspicious man, “I do +say that was no every-day offer. I would be glad to hear M'Clutchy +make such an offer to any man--for which reason here's little Solomon's +health once more, and long life to him!” + + + + +CHAPTER X.--A Dutiful Grandson and a Respectable Grandmother + +--Military Dialogue --Disobedience of Orders--Solomon's Candor--A +Confidential Communication--Solomon Dances the Swaggering jig--Honest +Correspondence--Darby's Motion of Spiritual Things--Two Religions Better +than One--Darby's Love of Truth. + +We believe our readers may understand, that although we have ourselves +taken the liberty of insinuating that little Solomon, as M'Loughlin +called him, was not precisely--but we beg pardon, it is time enough +to speak of that yet. All we have to say in the mean time is, that +Solomon's character, up to the period we speak of, was not merely +spotless, but a burning and a shining light in the eyes of all the +saints and sinners of the religious world, not only in Castle Cumber, +but in the metropolis itself. Solomon was an Elder of his congregation, +in which Sabbath after Sabbath he took his usual prominent part as +collector--raised the psalms--sang loudest--and whenever the minister +alluded to the mercy that was extended to sinners, Solomon's groan of +humility--of sympathy with the frail, and of despair for the impenitent; +his groan, we say, under these varied intimations of Gospel truth, +was more than a sermon in itself. It not only proclaimed to the +whole congregation that he was a sinner, but that he felt for +sinners--rejoiced in their repentance, which he often did in a +nondescript scream, between a groan and a cackle of holy joy, that +alarmed the congregation; but also wept for their hardness of heart, +when he imagined that it was likely to terminate in final reprobation, +with such a pathetic fervency, that on many such occasions some of those +who sat beside him were obliged to whisper--“Brother M'Slime, you are +too much overcome--too piously excited--do not allow yourself to exhibit +such an excess of Christian sympathy, or there will be many instances +among the weaker vessels of relapses and backslidings, from not +understanding that it is more for others thou art feeling than for +thyself.” + +Solomon then took his hands from before his face, wiped his eyes with +his handkerchief on which they had been embedded, and with a serene and +rather heavenly countenance looked up to the preacher, then closing his +eyes as if in a state of ethereal enjoyment, he clasped his hands with +a sweet smile, twirling his thumbs and bowing his head, as the speaker +closed every paragraph of the discourse. + +These observations account very plainly for the opinions touching +Solomon which were expressed by M'Loughlin. Solomon was at this time an +unadulterated saint--a professor--in fact one of the elect who had cast +his anchor sure. But as the proverb gays, time will tell. + +That night M'Loughlin and his family retired to bed for the first time +overshadowed, as it were, by a gloomy presentiment of some change, which +disturbed and depressed their hearts. They slept, however, in peace and +tranquillity, free from those snake-like pangs which coil themselves +around guilt, and deaden its tendencies to remorse, whilst they envenom +its baser and blacker purposes. + +M'Slime himself at this crisis was beginning privately to feel some of +the very natural consequences of his own oft acknowledged frailty. Phil, +who had just left Constitution Cottage a few minutes before Darby's +arrival, had not seen him that morning. The day before he had called +upon his grandfather, who told him out of the pallor window to “go to +h---; you may call tomorrow, you cowardly whelp, if you wish to see +me--but in the meantime,” he added as before, “go where I desired you.” + +Phil, who possessed a great deal of his father's selfishness and also of +his low cunning, but none at all of his ability, turned back indignantly +and rode home again. He had not passed more than about a hundred yards +from the avenue out into the highway, when he met Sharpe, one of the +heroes of the cabin. + +We shall not detail their conversation, which, of course, embraced +many of the circumstances connected with their duties, excepting a few +interjectional imprecations which Phil in an occasional parenthesis +dutifully bestowed upon his grandfather. + +“So, Sharpe, the fool Rimon made such a devil of a fight (the infernal +old scoundrel)--and took the gun.” + +“Why, Captain Phil, if he hasn't the strength of ten men, I'll never +manoeuvre on parade while I live--he's a bloody rascal.” + +“(A double distilled old scoundrel, and I wish the devil had him,)--he's +a bad bird, Sharpe, fool and all as he is, there's no doubt of that. +What did the priest do?” + +“Why, your honor, I can't say that he took much part in it, barrin' once +that he went between us and the woman.” + +“He had no right to do that--(the blaspheming old vagabond,)--none at +all, Sharpe, and he ought to be prosecuted.” + +“He ought, Captain, and will, I hope.” + +“But then, Shaj-pe, if we swing Harman it will be enough, for +Harman--(he'll fiz for it, and that soon I hope)--is another bad bird.” + +“Oh, devil a worse, Captain, but even if he escapes us now, we'll manage +him yet.” + +They now came to a turn in the road, and found themselves at a bridge, a +little beyond which two roads met. On approaching, they observed an old +woman sitting on a large stone that lay a little beyond the arch. She +was meagrely and poorly dressed, had no cap on, her gray locks were only +bound by a red ribbon that encircled her head, but did not confine her +hair, which floated in large masses about her shoulders, a circumstance +that added to the startling vehemence of character that appeared in +her face, and gave to her whole person an expression which could not be +overlooked. When they had come up to where she sat, and were about to +pass without further notice, she started up, and with steps surprisingly +rapid, and full of energy, seized upon. Phil's bridle. + +“Well!” she exclaimed, “I saw you going, and I see you coming, but you +cannot tell me that he is dead. No, the death damp of his blaspheming +carcase is not yet on the air, because if it was,” and she turned her +nose against the wind, like a hound, “I would snuff it. No, no; he +is not gone, but he will soon go, and what a catalogue of crimes will +follow after him! The man's conscience is a gaol where every thought and +wish of his guilty life and godless heart is a felon; and the blackest +calendar that ever was spread before God was his. Oh! I wonder do the +chains in his conscience rattle? they do, but his ears are deaf, and he +doesn't hear them; but he will, and feel them too, yet.” + +Phil, who had got alarmed at the extraordinary energy of her manner, +as well as of her language, said, “what do you want, and who are you +speaking of?” + +“Who am I speaking of? who should I be speaking of but of old Deaker, +the blasphemer?--and who am I speaking to but the son of the ungodly +villain who threatened to horsewhip the mother that bore him. Do you +know me now?” + +“Let go my bridle,” exclaimed Phil, “let go my bridle, you old faggot, +or upon my honor and soul I'll give you a cut of my whip.” + +“No,” she replied, no whit daunted, “no, I'm near my eightieth year. I'm +old, and wrinkled, and gray--my memory forgets everything now but my own +crimes, and the crimes of those that are still worse than myself--old I +am, and wicked, and unrepenting--but I shall yet live to pour the curses +that rise out of an ill-spent life into his dying oar, until his very +soul will feel the scorches of perdition before its everlasting tortures +come upon it in hell. I am old,” she proceeded, “but I will yet live +to see the son that cursed his mother, and threatened to raise his +sacrilegious hand against her that bore him, laid down like a tree, +rooted up and lopped--lying like a rotten log, without sap, without +strength, and only fit to be cut up and cast into the fire. I am old,” + she replied, “but I shall live to see out the guilty race of you all.” + +“Go to the devil, you croaking old vagabond,” exclaimed Phil, raising +his whip, and letting it fall upon her almost naked shoulders, with a +force as unmanly, as it was cruel, and impious, and shocking. + +She uttered a scream of anguish, and writhed several times, until her +eyes became filled with tears. “My cup is not full yet,” she exclaimed, +sobbing, “neither is yours, but it soon will be, you knew me well when +you gave that blow; but go now, and see how you'll prosper after it.” + +Sharpe, even Sharpe, felt shocked at the cowardly spirit which could +inflict such an outrage upon old age, under any circumstances; but much +less under those which even he understood so well. + +“Captain,” said he, “if it was only for the credit of the Castle Cumber +cavalry, I'm sorry that you gave that blow; those men on the other side +of the road there were looking at you, and you may take my word it will +spread.” + +“How dare you speak to me in that style?” asked Phil in a rage, and +availing himself of his authority over him, “what is it your business, +Sharpe? Sharpe, you're a scoundrel, for speaking to me in this +style--damn my honor and blood, but you are. What do you know about that +old vagabond?” + +“Captain,” said Sharpe, who was a sturdy fellow in his way, “I'm no +scoundrel; and I do know that you have just horsewhipped your notorious +ould grandmother.” + +“Fall back,” said Phil, “and consider yourself arrested.” + +“Arrest and be hanged,” replied Sharpe, “I don't care a fig about you--I +was in Deaker's corps this many a year, and if you attempt to come the +officer over me, let me tell you you're mistaken. We're not on duty now, +my buck, and you have no more authority over me than you have over the +devil--me a scoundrel! my good fellow, I know who is the scoundrel.” + +“My good fellow! Damn my honor and blood, do you apply that to me?” + +“No, I don't,” said Sharpe, “for you're a cursed bad fellow, and no +gentleman--didn't Harman pull your nose in Castle Cumber, and you +wanted the courage then that you had for your ould grandmother--me, a +scoundrel!” + +“I'll tell you what, Sharpe; is this respect, sir, to your commanding +officer? Sharpe I'll mark you out for this.” + +“Don't you know,” replied Sharpe, “that two of us c&n play at that game; +you had better keep yourself quiet, if you're wise--a man that's in the +habit of getting his nose pulled should be very inoffensive.” + +“Very well,” said gallant Phil, “I'll say no more, but--” He then put +spurs to handsome Harry, and rode off, full of vengeance against Sharpe, +and of indignation at the contumelious reception he experienced at the +hands of his grandfather. + +Val's letter to M'Slime was, as our readers know, anything but an index +to the state of regard in which he held that worthy gentleman. As we +said, however, that ground was beginning to break a little under his +feet, in spite of all his unction and Christian charity, we shall, while +Darby is on his way to deliver his letter, take that opportunity of +detailing a conversation between honest Solomon and Poll Doolin, upon +one or two topics connected with our tale. + +“Sam,” said Solomon to his clerk, “you were not present with us at +prayer this morning! You know we do not join in family worship until +you come; and it is but our duty to take an interest in your spiritual +welfare. In the meantime, I should regret, for your own sake, that +anything in the shape of a falling away from your opportunities should +appear in you. I speak now as your friend, Sam, not as your master--nay, +rather as your brother, Sam--as a man who is not without his own +lapses and infirmities, but who still trusts--though not by his own +strength--that he may be looked upon, in some faint degree, as an +example of what a man, wrestling with the cares and trials of life, +ought at, least, to strive to be. To Him be the praise!” + +“I certainly overslept myself this morning, sir--that is the truth.” + +“Yes, Sam; sloth is one of the disguises under which the enemy often +assails and overcomes us. But to business, Sam. There is an old woman in +Castle Cumber, whose name I scarcely remember. She goes dressed in faded +black, and has a son, to whom, for wise purposes of course, it pleased +Him to deny a full measure of ordinary sense?” + +“Poll Doolin, sir, the old child-cadger, and her foolish son, Raymond of +the hats.” + +“Don't say foolish, Sam; don't say foolish--we know not well what the +true difference between wisdom and folly is, nor how much wisdom is +manifested in the peculiar state of this person. We know not, indeed, +whether what we blindly, perhaps, term folly, may not be a gift to +be thankful for. You know the Word says, that the wisdom of man is +foolishness before God. Our duty therefore is, to be thankful and +humble.” + +“Well, sir; but about Poll Doolin, the child-cadger?” + +“Child-cadger! that is a term I don't understand, Sam.” + +“Why, sir, it means a woman who carries--” + +“Sam, hold; if it be associated with human frailty, it is best left +unspoken. The woman, however, be she what she may--and I know not what +she is--but that she is a responsible being--a partaker of our common +nature, and is entitled to our sympathy. She is, I understand, in some +difficulty, out of which, it seems, professional advice may help to take +her. I expect her, therefore, about this time; and will you, Samuel, +just stand at that window, and when you see her approach the house, +do just, quietly, and without noise, open the hall door. Something has +occurred to discompose the Christian tone which usually prevails in our +household; and poor Susanna is going. But, at all events, Sam, you are +aware, it is said, that we ought not to let our left hand know what our +right hand doeth.” + +“I know the text, sir, well; it ends with--'and he that giveth in +secret, will reward thee openly.'” + +“He--hem--ahem! yes it does so end; heigho! I feel, Sam, slightly +depressed in spirit, as it were, and moved, as if somewhat of my usual +support were withdrawn from me.” + +“Here she is, sir,” said Sam. + +“Very well, Sam; please to let her in as quietly as may be, and then +take this declaration to the back office, and copy it as soon as you +can--it is of importance. We should always endeavor to render services +to our fellow creatures.” + +In the mean time, Sam very softly opened the hall door, and the next +moment Poll entered. + +Solomon, as usual, was certainly seated at his office, and held his +features composed and serious to a degree; still, in spite of everything +he could do, there was an expression half of embarrassment, and half +of the very slightest perceptible tendency to a waggish simile, we can +scarcely call it--but, whatever it might be, there it certainly was, +betraying to Poll, in spite of all his efforts, that there was still the +least tincture imaginable of human frailty associated with such a vast +mass of sanctity. + +Polly, when she entered, took a seat, and loosening the strings of her +bonnet, raised it a little, and without uttering a word sat silently +looking in M'Slime's face, with a very comic and significant expression +on her own. + +“No, Polly,” said he, with a serious smile, “no, you are mistaken +indeed--frail we all are, I grant you; but in this case am acting for +another. No, no, Polly--I trust those days of vanity are gone.” + +“Well, then, what else am I to do? I sent the reports abroad about +M'Loughlin and Harman's being about to break; and of M'Loughlin I'll +soon have my revenge, by the way--I and somebody else have the train +laid for it.” + +“Polly, it was from no unchristian spirit of ill-will to them--for I +trust that of such a spirit I am incapable--but to prevent them, by +an unjust act, from injuring, perhaps from ruining others. That is my +motive; but, at the same time, the whole matter is understood to be +strictly confidential between you and me.” + +“Don't you know, Mr. M'Slime, that when there was an occasion for +trustin' me, I didn't betray you to the world?” + +“No--you did not; and it is for that reason that I trust you now.” + +“Ay, and you may, too; honor bright is my motive. You remember the +day you passed Darby O'Drive and me, on our way to M'Clutchy's? Did I +pretend to know you then?” + +“You acted then, Poll, with great and commendable discretion, which you +will please to remember I did not overlook.” + +“No,” said Poll, “you behaved decently enough.” + +“But observe me now, Poll; if this report concerning the firm of +M'Loughlin and Harman should by any possibility be traced to us, or +rather to yourself, and that you should be pressed to disclose it, +which, of course, you could not be; but if a weak moment should ever +come--it is best then to speak the truth, and put the saddle as they +rather profanely say, upon Valentine M'Clutchy, the right horse here.” + +“Upon M'Clutchy! why bad as he is, he never opened his lips to me on +this subject.” + +“But he did to me, Poll, because it was from him I first heard the +suggestion; so that in point of truth and justice, you are bound by your +own conscience, or you ought at least--to lay it at his door--and that +now you understand better”--he smiled a little as he uttered these +words--“But why don't you get a better bonnet, that one is very shabby?” + +“It's aisier said than done,” replied Poll, “the poor must always look +poor, and will too.” + +“There then, are ten shillings, Poll; bestow them on that, or on any +other purpose you prefer.” + +“Thank you, Mr. M'Slime, troth in the little job I did for you at our +first acquaintance I found you--any way not worse than another. Well, +but you can't desave me now--I see it in your eye--you have something +else to say to me.” + +“Oh, nothing to signify. Merely a serious young person would wish to +remove for change of air to some quiet nook until health--which, indeed, +is the chiefest of temporal blessings, might be recovered.” + +“Man or woman?” + +“A serious young woman, Poll.” + +“I see, I see, Mr. M'Slime; I know nothing more about it.” + +“Poll, listen--I shall no longer withhold confidence from you in +this matter--unfortunately a member, indeed, I may say, two of our +congregation have had a woeful fall. He ranks very high in it, and this +is an act of the greater Christian friendship in me, inasmuch as in +undertaking the management of this for him, I certainly run great risks +of suffering in my own reputation. I cannot name him, for that would +be a breach of confidence in me, but you are called upon to perform the +duty required, and through me he shall compensate you for your trouble.” + +“Very well,” replied Poll, “it must be done--and I can tell him whoever +he is, that he could not come to any one that understands such matters +betther.” + +“Good morning, Poll! Let me hear from you as soon as you can. Peace be +with thee! but Poll, remember one thing, Harman and the M'Loughlins are +going to America.” Poll nodded significantly, but made no reply. + +The moment she had gone, which she did by the aid of Solomon himself, +who opened and closed the hall door after her, with a quietness of +manner that seemed to communicate oil to the hinges themselves, he +touched the bell, and in due time Susanna looked in. + +“You rang, sir,” said she. + +“That arrangement is made;” said he, “so far all is well, or nearly +so--go now.” Susanna immediately withdrew, the few words he said seeming +to have diffused sunshine into a face which appeared doubly serious. + +When she was gone, Solomon laid his head down upon the desk before him, +and remained in that position for some time. At length without at all +raising it he began to play his knuckles against the lid, with a +degree of alacrity which would not have disgraced the activity of a +sleight-of-hand man. He at last rose, drew a long breath, and wore a +very smiling face; but this was not all--O sanctity! O religion! Instead +of going to his Bible, as one would imagine he ought to have done, +instead of even taking up a psalm-book, and indulging in a spiritual +song, he absolutely commenced whistling the Swaggering Jig, which he +accompanied with as nimble a foot, and in as good time as if he had been +a dancing-master all his life. + +“Ah,” said he, “I could have done it once, and would like to do it +still, only for this wicked and censorious world.” A knock from Darby +O'Drive recalled him to a perception of his gifts, and when Darby +entered he looked calm and serious as usual. Little could Darby have +imagined, although perfectly aware of M'Slime's knavery, that the pious +little man had just concluded “a short exercise,” in performing the +Swaggering Jig. As it was, however, he found him in a state which might +either be termed a religious meditation, or an intense application to +business--a Bible being on the one hand, and a brief on the other; but +to which of the two he had devoted himself, neither Darby, nor indeed +any one else, could guess. There, however, he sat, a kind of holy link +between the law and the gospel. + +When Darby entered, and delivered the letter, M'Slime on receiving it +exclaimed, “Ah, from my excellent friend, M'Clutchy. Sit down, Darby, +sit down, and whilst I am casting my eye over this note, do now, in +order that we may make the most of our opportunities, do, I say, Darby, +just read a chapter in this--” handing him over the Bible as he spoke. In +the meantime he read as follows:-- + +“Strictly confidential. + +“My Dear M'Slime: + +“In order that the thing may be done as much in the shape and form of +a matter of business as possible, don't you think it would be well +for you, as Harman's lease has expired, to send me a regular written +proposal for it--which proposal I may be able to show in justification +of myself, should anything unfavorable turn up afterwards. Harman's +offer was just double yours, but that is burnt; of course you will also +burn this when you have read it. Your offer of assistance to M'Loughlin +was well thought of; and even if we never, I mean you, should be +paid, you are still a gainer by two hundred pounds. Each has offered +a thousand a piece to have the leases renewed at the present rent; you +give five hundred, very good suppose you lose three--that is, suppose +M'Loughlin is driven, as, please God, he shall be, to allow you to +accept a bill for three hundred--don't you see that you are still two +hundred in pocket; no, I am wrong, not two but seven hundred. You can +therefore well afford to lose three by the transaction, although, as I +have said, it is not, in point of fact, losing three, but gaining seven, +or at least five. Phil has also sent me a written proposal, which I +will keep, but M'Loughlin's is gone the way of Harman's, as a matter of +prudence. As for the private consideration between us, that is only +to be glanced at. I give you my honor that Phil has tendered me two +hundred, which I will not take, of course, either from you or him until +the premises are cleared of the present tenants, This must be done +very soon, and, I think it is much to be wished that Harman, who is a +choleric scoundrel, should be put out of the way, if possible, If he is +transported it will save us a good deal of annoyance. I should regret +a meeting between him and Phil very much. Phil tells me that he once +pulled his, Harman's, nose, and it is very natural that he should bear +him a grudge for it. There is half a year's rent due this day, and the +term mentioned in the notice to quit, expires next week. So far, +then, all is right; we have them in our power, and can proceed safely. +Parliament will, it is well ascertained, be certainly dissolved about +the end of May next, so that we must work double tides to bring in +his Lordship. There is a devilish spirit abroad, however, which will +occasion us much trouble; but I cannot agree with you about renewing the +leases, notwithstanding. It is just doing by those who are obstinate and +ill-disposed, precisely as we ought; that is, holding a whip over their +heads, and assuring them that we shall let it fall with rigor, unless +they are agreeable as they ought. The Hon. Richard Topertoe is in +London, but, between you and me, it matters little where he is; you +may judge of what an intermeddling fool he must be, when he had the +presumption to urge his Lordship to come to his native land, and live +on his estate. This d----d Ribbonism and outrage, in spite of all our +efforts, are still increasing; I think, however, that I shall be able +to make a pounce some of these days. I have my spies at work, and let me +tell you, that talk as they may, about its treachery and rascality, the +spy system is an admirable one; in fact, it is like a two-edged sword, +and cuts both ways, just as you wish. If, for instance, you cannot find +Ribbonism made to your hand, you may make it--that is, you can +corrupt first, and betray afterwards; which, at critical moments is +unquestionably (I say this between ourselves) a decided advantage. By +the by, my dear Solomon, the force of religion must be singularly strong +and impressive in your life and conduct, when you have been able so +wholesomely to influence that rascal bailiff of ours, Darby O'Drive. I +have seldom, indeed, never witnessed so striking a change as you have +produced in him; to tell you the truth, I felt a little chagrined and +jealous about it; but as he owes us a kind of divided allegiance, I must +rest contented. + +“Believe me to be, my dear M'Slime, +“Yours affectionately and faithfully, +“Val M'Clutchy, J.P.” + + +To this, while Darby was tooth and nail at the Bible, Solomon wrote the +following reply-- + +“My Dear M'Clutchy: + +“I have just read your letter of this date, and agree with you in the +necessity and propriety of my sending you a written proposal which you +can show at a future time, in order to justify yourself should it be +necessary so to do. I also need not say that your conduct in destroying +the proposals of M'Loughlin and Harman was equally creditable to your +head and heart. Prudence and discretion, my dear Val, are not virtues +of every day occurrence, and as to giving the preference to a Christian +friend, I do not see how a man as you are, with a strong sense of +religion, could without injuring your conscience avoid it. What is it +after all, my dear friend, but a spoiling of the Egyptians, as holy +Moses did, when about to lead the children of Israel from bondage. In +that case it was what may be termed in these our days a description of +justifiable theft, such as many professors of the word do, in matters of +business, feel themselves warranted even now in imitating. It requires, +however, to be done carefully, and within the freedom of the perfect +law; but, by no means, with a worldly or secular spirit, otherwise +it will be deprived of that unction which renders the act a gracious +exemplification of our Christian privileges, instead of a departure from +rectitude, which it would be if committed by an ungodly person. These +are distinctions, my dear friend, which I grant you is not permitted to +many to make--only, indeed, I may humbly and fearfully say to such as +have by long wrestling with the spirit been able to see truth, when the +inward eye has been purged from the grossness of passion, for which +to Him be praise and power. Amen! I herewith enclose you the proposal +formally made, and will be ready to hand over the two hundred Christian +manifestations of my gratitude at the proper season. As to Lord Cumber +being a loser by the transaction, such a loss must have been, we are +bound to hope, shaped out for him as a punishment inflicted for gracious +purposes. It is true he is ignorant of it, and I trust he shall remain +so; but then we know that many a blessing comes to us in deep disguise, +and that many a dispensation which we look upon as a favor from above, +is far from being so. If, then, it be true that this thing is vouchsafed +to him as a hidden blessing, let us be thankful that we have been +selected as the unworthy means through whom he is made to receive it; or +if it comes to him as a punishment, still it is our duty to reflect that +we are merely the instruments through whose frailties, or virtues, as +the case may be, he is visited, and that from the beginning this and +many other acts which a blind unenlightened world might censure, were +ordained for us, in order that the perfect scheme of Providence might be +fulfilled. + +“With respect to the spy system, I do agree with you fully. Many things +must be done in secret, which the perversity of the world will not bear +to hear of without committing sin. For instance, my dear Val, in sowing +your crop of loyalty, so to speak, it might not, perhaps, be wrong--I +am speaking, now observe, with reference to the cunning of the serpent, +which you know we are enjoined to have, and if to have, of course to use +when necessary; it might not, perhaps, be wrong I say, to cast a tare +or two, if only for the purpose of employing our friends and fellow +creatures to pull them, out again. It is as it were, giving the idle +employment, and enabling ourselves in the mean time to gather an +abundant harvest into our own garners. + +“With respect to Darby, I trust, that if my unworthy example and earnest +precept have been successful in rescuing him from the bonds of error +and sin--but what is still more dangerous, from the damnable thrall +of Popery--it is not for me to vainly extol myself therefor. His +conversion, however, will, I trust, be edifying to that interesting, but +neglected class, the bailiffs of Ireland. With reference to them, I +am engaged during the very few leisure hours that I can steal--so +to speak--from my professional employment, in writing a second tract +especially for their improvement. It will be appropriately called, _The +Bailiff's Beacon or a Strengthener for tender Consciences_, By their +friend and brother Christian, Solomon M'Slime, Attorney at Law. + +“Verily, my lines have been made to fall in pleasant places. On +yesterday, I had the satisfaction to be appointed _soul_ agent to the +Religious Cosmopolitan Assurance Association, being a branch of the +Grand Junction Spiritual Railway Society for travellers to a better +world. The salary is liberal, but the appointment--especially to a man +of sincere principles--is full of care and responsibility. Allow me, my +dear Val, to recommend you and your friends to purchase shares in +the Spiritual Railway Society--it is under Him the safest of all +associations yet established. The arrangements are admirably adapted +for the projects in view. All the seats are delightfully soft, and as +somnolent as church pews, to which they bear a close resemblance. The +machine men, and all those appointed to situations on the line, are +mostly in orders; but belong to different denominations. The scheme +originated in Oxford, and has spread rapidly throughout the length +and breadth of the land. Several of the stokers are bishops, and the +reverend feeders discharge their respective duties with singular effect. +It is hoped besides, that it may, under divine guidance, be the glorious +means of bringing Popery within the influence of truth, whilst its +enemies--for it has enemies--as who has not--its enemies assert that +whether it shall take in Popery, or Popery take in it, is a matter very +difficult to be determined. + +“They are also exceedingly expert at tract writing, which they perform, +if I may say so, without boasting or vanity, very much in my own spirit. +Poor Susanna is ailing--I mean a serious young person in our family +who tended our little olive branches and understood my habits. She is +leaving us, and I shall miss her, for I am one of those persons, my dear +friend, who have a heart for--and I trust I may say, that can sympathize +with--my fellow creatures, however humble. Do you remember that I once +availed myself of a Christian privilege, to mention between us the +subject of family prayer? + +“I remain, my dear M'Clutchy, with, may I hope, a few of the graces of +my calling--an earnest wrestler against sin, + +“Solomon M'Slime.” + + +“Now, Darby,” said he, having folded the letter enclosing his tender for +Harman's farm, and handed, it to him, “now, that so much is despatched, +I trust we may have a word or two upon a subject of still higher +importance. How do you feel in a spiritual way?--Are your views as clear +as ever?--are you supported--I mean inwardly, for that is the only true +support after all?” + +“Thrath, Mr. M'Slime, I'm afeard to spake, sir, for fraid I'd say either +more or less than the truth.” + +“That is a good sign, Darby, but you must avoid profane swearing, which +is a habit you contracted when in the bonds of iniquity; but you must +reform it--or rather, grace will be given you to reform it.” + +“I hope so,” replied Darby, “and that I'll still get a clearer knowledge +of the truth, plaise Goodness.” + +Darby, as he uttered these words, would have given a trifle to have had +M'Clutchy to look at. Little did Solomon suspect the truth to which his +convert alluded. + +“May it in charity be granted!” exclaimed Solomon, slightly twitching up +his eyebrows. “But, Darby, will you be properly prepared on next Sabbath +(D.V.) to bear strong testimony against error and idolatry?” + +“Why, I'll do my best, sir,” replied Darby, “and you know the best can +do no more.” + +“Well, but you can faithfully say that you are utterly free from every +taint of Popery.” + +“Faith, sir, I don't know that that would be altogether prudent. Did you +never hear of the ould proverb, sir--not to throw out the dirty water +till you get in the clane--I'm not sure that I have a sufficient grip +of the new light yet,” said Darby, falling unconsciously into his usual +style of conversation, “but, I hope that by next Sunday, I'll be able +to shine;--an', be me sowl, if I don't, sir, it'll be none o' my +fawt--divil resave the purtier convert in Europe than I'll make when I +come to know a little about it.” + +“Darby,” said Solomon, impatiently, “this is really very trying to one +so anxious for your spiritual welfare as I am. This awful swearing--I +really fear that some of your light has been withdrawn since our last +interview.” + +“Not at all unlikely,” replied Darby; “but wid great submission, don't +you think, sir, that two religions is betther than one?” + +“How do you mean by adverting to such an impossibility?” + +“Why, sir, suppose I kept the ould one, and joined this new reformation +to it, wouldn't I have two chances instead o' one?” + +“Darby,” said Solomon, “avoid, or rather Pray that you may be enabled +to avoid the enemy; for I fear he is leading you into a darker error. +I tell you--I say unto you--that you would be much better to have no +religion than the Popish. You have reminded me of one proverb, suffer me +to remind you of another; do you not know, to speak in a worldly figure, +that an empty house is better than a bad tenant? why, I looked on you +with pride, with a kind of and joy as one wilom I had wrestled for, and +won from the enemy; but I fear you are elapsing.” + +“I hope in God sir,” very gravely, “that you and he won't have to toss +up for me; for I feel myself sometimes one thing, and sometimes the +other.” + +“Ah!” replied Solomon, “I fear I must give you up, and in that case it +will not be in my power to employ you in a very confidential matter, +the management of which I imagined I could have entrusted to you. +That, however, cannot be now, as no one not amply provided with strong +religious dispositions, could be relied on in it.” + +Darby, who, in fact, was playing M'Slime precisely as a skilful +fisherman does his fish; who, in order to induce him the more eagerly to +swallow the bait, pretends to withdraw it from his jaws, by which means +it is certain to be gulped down, and the fish caught. + +“Ah, sir,” replied Darby, “I'm greatly afeared that every person like me +must struggle with great temptations.” + +“That is an excellent observation,” said Solomon; “and I do suppose, +that since this desirable change took place in your heart, you must have +been woefully beset.” + +“Never suffered so much in my life,” replied the other. “Now there's +your two beautiful tracts, and may I never die in sin--I hope, sir, +there's no great harm in that oath? + +“No great harm but you had better omit it, however--it smacks of sin and +superstition.” + +“Well, sir--may I never--I beg pardon--but any how, the truth is, that +ever since I tuck to readin' them, I feel myself gettin' as dishonest as +if the devil--” + +“Do not name him so, Darby--it is profane; say the enemy, or Satan, or +the tempter.” + +“As if the whole three o' them, then, war at my elbow. Why, for the +last three or four days, I may say, they have cleared me out as clane +of honesty as the black boy himself, and it is worse I am gettin'. Now, +sir, it stands to sense, that that's temptation.” + +“Unquestionably; and my great hope and consolation is, that you +yourself are conscious of it. All you have to do now, is to pray +unceasingly--wrestle in prayer, and you will ultimately triumph. Sing +spiritual songs, too; read my tracts with attention; and, in short, +if you resist the dev--hem--Satan, they will flee from you. Give +that letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, and let me see you on the day after +to-morrow--like a giant refreshed with new strength.” + +“Well, now,” said Darby, assuming a more serious look--“do you know, +sir, that I think your words have put new strength into me. Somehow +I feel as if there was a load removed from me. May the mother of +heaven--hem--I do, sir; and now, as a proof of it, I wouldn't feel +justified, sir, in leaving you, widout sayin' a word or two about the +same M'Clutchy, who, between you and me--but I hope it won't go farther, +sir?” + +“I don't think it would be permitted to me to betray confidence--I +humbly think so. Be not afraid, but speak.” + +“Why, sir, he has got a dirty trick of speakin' disrespectfully of you +behind your back.” + +“Human weakness, Darby! poor profligate man! Proceed, what does he say?” + +“Why, sir, if it 'ud be agreeable to you, I'd rather not be goin' over +it.” + +“We should know our friends from our enemies, O'Drive; but I forgive +him, and shall earnestly pray for him this night. What did he say?” + +“Why he said, sir--verily, thin, I'm ashamed to say it.” + +“Did he speak only of myself?” inquired Solomon, with something like a +slight, but repressed appearance of alarm. + +“Oh, of nobody else, sir. Well, then, he said, sir--but sure I'm only +repatin' his wicked words--he said, sir, that if you were cut up into +the size of snipe shot, there would be as much roguery in the least +grain of you, as would corrupt a nation of pickpockets.” + +“Poor man! I forgive him. Do you not see me smile, Darby?” + +“I do, indeed, sir.” + +“Well, that is a smile of forgiveness--of pure Christian +forgiveness--free from the slightest taint of human infirmity. I am +given to feel this delightful state of mind at the present moment--may +He be praised!--proceed.” + +“It is a blessed state, sir, and as you can bear it--and as I can trust +you, what I could not him--I will go on:--” he said, “besides, sir, that +your example had made the ould boy himself a worse boy now than he had +ever been before he ever knew you I--that in temptin' you, he got new +dodges of wickedness that he was never up to till he met you, and +that he's now receivin' lessons from you in the shape of a convartin' +parson.” + +“Ah! well!--I see, I see--that is an unchristian allusion to my recent +intercourse with the Rev. Phineas Lucre, the respected and highly +connected rector of Castle Cumber, and his nephew, the Rev. Boanerges +Frothwell, both of whom take a deep interest in the New Reformation +movement which is now so graciously advancing. However, I shall pray for +that man this night.” + +“Sir, I feel much relieved; I'm a changed man widin these few minutes, I +may say--but what, afther all, is aquil to a good example? I feel, sir, +as if a strong hatred of idolaphry was comin' an me.” + +“Idolatry, you mean, Darby?” + +“Yes, sir, that's what I mean.” + +“Where is that letter of Mr. M'Clutchy's--oh, I have it. Well, Darby,” + said M'Slime, quietly changing it for another, “here it is; now, do you +see how I commit that letter to the flames?” placing M'Clutchy's under +the side of a brief; “and even as the flames die away before your eyes, +so dies away--not my resentment, Darby, for none do I entertain against +him--but the memory of his offensive expressions.” + +“Sir,” said Darby, “this is wonderful! I often heard of religion and +forgiveness of injuries, but antil this day I never saw them in their +thrue colors. The day after to-morrow I'm to call, sir?” + +“The day after to-morrow.” + +“Well, sir, may the Holy Virgin this day--och, indeed I do not know what +I'm sayin' sir--Religion! well if that's not religion what is or can be? +Good mornin' sir.” + +“Good morning, Darby, and remember my advice--pray, sing, wrestle--peace +be with you!” + + + + +CHAPTER XI.--Darby and Solomon at Prayer + +--An Instance of Pure Charity---Candidates for Conversion--An +Appropriate Confidence--The Rev. Phineas Lucre and his Curate, Mr. +Clement--Rev. Father Roche and his Curate, Father M'Cabe. + + +Darby was opening the hall-door, when, as if struck by a new train +of thought, he again tapped at the office door, and begged pardon for +entering. + +“I'm in a sweet state, sir,” said he; “and would you forgive me, now +that my heart is, full, by lookin' at such an example, if I tuck +the liberty of axin' you to kneel down and offer a Father an' Ave +an'--hem--och, what am I sayin'--an' offer up a wurd in saison for that +unfortunate blaggard, M'Clutchy--any how, it'll improve myself, and +I feel as if there was new strength put into me. Oh, the netarnal +scoundrel! To spake the way he did of sich a man--sich a scantlin of +grace--of--oh, then, do, sir; let us offer up one prayer for him, the +vagabond!” + +The reader will perceive, however, by and by, that Darby's sudden and +enthusiastic principle of charity towards M'Clutchy, wanted that very +simple requisite, sincerity--a commodity, by the way, in which the +worthy bailiff never much dealt. Indeed we may say here, that the object +of his return was connected with anything but religion. + +A shade of feeling, somewhat rueful, sat on M'Slime's features, until +he caught Darby's eye fixed upon him, when, after rebuking him for the +terms in which he proposed the, prayer, he knelt down, and with a most +serene smile, commenced an earnest supplication, which became still more +vehement--then louder--bewailed his lost state--deplored his keeping +aloof from the means of grace--feared that the example of his old, and +sinful, and blasphemous father, and his most profligate mother, had +rendered his heart impenetrable to all visitations of conscience or +religion--if conscience he ever had, or religion he ever heard; both of +which, he, the humble and sinful suppliant, doubted. What then was his +state? Oh! how could a charitable or truly religious heart bear to think +of it without being deeply affected”--handkerchief here applied to the +eyes, and some sobs--a nondescript sound from Darby, accompanied by +a most pathetic shaking of the sides--evidently as much affected as +M'Slime.--The prayer was then wound up in a long, heavy, dolorous +cadence, which evidently proceeded from a strong conviction that he who +prayed was laboring against all hope and expectation that the humble +“mean” then adopted would be attended by any gracious result--the voice +consequently quavered off into a most dismal sound, which seemed, as +it were, to echo back a doleful answer to their solicitations, +and accordingly Solomon rose up with a groan that could not be +misunderstood. + +“You see, O'Drive,” said he, “we have received no answer--or rather +a bad one--I fear his is a hopeless case, as, indeed, that of every +reprobate and castaway is; and this distresses me.” + +“Mr. M'Slime,” said Darby, “will you excuse me, sir--but the thruth +is, I never properly knew you before.” These words he uttered in a low +confidential voice, precisely such as we might suppose a man to speak +in, who, under his circumstances, had got new convictions. “I'll appear +next Sabbath, and what is better, I think in a few days I'll be able to +bring three or four more along wid me.” + +“Do you think so?” said M'Slime, a good deal elated at the thought; for +the attorney was only playing his game, which certainly was not the case +with the greater number of the new reformation men, who were as sincere +in their motives as he was hypocritical in his exertions. “And what are +their names, Darby?” + +“I feel, sir,” replied O'Drive, “that it's my duty as a Christian, +brought out of the land of cordage--” + +“Bondage, Darby.” + +“Of bondage, to do all I can for the spread o' the gospel. Their names,” + responded Darby, rubbing his elbow with a perplexed face; “don't you +think sir it would be better to wait awhile, till we'd see what could be +done with them privately?” + +“No, Darby, give me their names and residences, and I will see, that +however hard the times are, they shall not at least be starved for want +of--truth.” + +“Well, then,” said Darby, “first, there is Paudeen Rafferty, of +Dernascobe; Paudeen, sir, is, at the present spaking, badly given to +drink, and he swears, and fights mortially, too, the hathen; but, then, +he's in darkness, sir, yet; and you know that the greater the sinner the +greater the saint. If Paudeen was dacently convarted he'd make a mighty +fine Christian no doubt. To be sure he has two wives, along wid his love +for liquor and fightin'; but wouldn't it be a good plan to bring them +over, too, sir; the poor lost cratures, sunk, as they are, in hathenism +and vociferation?” + +“Very good, I have him down, Darby; we must struggle, however, to win +him over and to induce him to give up his guilty connections. Are they +young, Darby!” + +“Two of the best looking young women in the parish.” + +“We must only see, then, if they can be rescued also; for that is a +duty--a pressing duty, certainly.” + +“But I'm afeard, sir, it 'ud take a ship load o' Scripture to convart +the three o' them.” + +“We shall try, however; nothing is to be despaired of under such +circumstances, unless I am afraid the regeneration of that unhappy man +M'Clutchy--(eyes turned up). Who next?” + +“Why, you may set down Harry M'Murt, of Drinnska. Harry's an unsettled +kind of fellow, or as they call him a Rake. It would be an active +charity to convert him--and that could convert him for he has as many +twists in him as an eel--if it was only for the sake of gettin' him to +spake the truth.” + +“Who else, Darby?” + +“Put down Charley Casey, sir; and if you take my advice, you'll set +in at the convarsion of him while his famine lasts--otherwise, he's a +bitter idolapher as ever welted an Orangeman; but against that, he +has the stomach o' three men--and the best time to come at him wid the +gospel is the present. Bait it wid a flitch of bacon on the one side, +and a collop o' fresh meat on the other, now before the praties comes +in, and you're sure of him.” + +“Any others, Dairby?--but, indeed, as far as we have gone yet, the cases +appear to me to be difficult ones. However, there is joy in heaven, +Darby, over one sinner--and surely the greater the sin the greater the +joy and the triumph. Any others?” + +“Mark down Molly Crudden, sir--she would be a glorious catch if a word +in saison could fasten on her. She goes by the name of Funny Eye. The +poor woman is mother to a large family of childre, sir; and the worst of +it is, that no two o' them goies by the same name. It would be a proud +day that we could make sure of her, especially as Father Roche and Mr. +M'Cabe, his curate, were obliged to give her up, and forbid her the +parish; but Funny Eye only winks and laughs at them and the world. She's +the last, sir--but I'll be on the look out, God willin', for a few more +desperate cases to crown our victory over the dev--ahem! over Satan and +the priests.” + +“Well, then, let me see you, as I said, the day after to-morrow, and in +the mean time--peace, and joy, and victory be with you!” + +“The same to you, sir, and many of them! Amin--I pray the sweet queen o' +heaven this day!” + +“Darby,” said M'Slime, who looked upon his mingling up religious +expressions peculiar to his class as a proof of his sincerity--“Darby,” + said he in a low, condensed, and collected voice--“I said I had the +execution of a commission to entrust to you.” + +“But, sir,” said Darby, whose ears, could they have shaped themselves +according to his wishes, would have ran into points in order to hear +with more acuteness--“Sir,” said he, “I doubt I'm not worthy of such a +trust.” + +“Perfectly worthy, Darby,” continued Solomon, “if I did not think so I +would not employ you--I have engaged another person to prepare, as it +were, the way for you; but the truth is, it would never do to allow that +person and the young person of whom you are going to take charge to +be seen together. Evil constructions would most assuredly be put on +innocent actions, Darby, as they often are; and for this reason it +is that I have partly changed my mind, and will entrust one-half the +commission I speak of to you.” As if, however, he feared that the very +walls might justify the old proverb by proving that they had ears, +he stood up and whispered a short, but apparently most interesting +communication to Darby, who appeared to listen to a tale that was +calculated rather to excite admiration than any other feeling. And +we have little doubt, indeed, that the tale in question was given as +illustrating the exertion of as pure an instance of Christian compassion +and benevolence as ever was manifested in the secret depths of that true +piety which shuns the light; for Darby's journey was most assuredly to +be made in the dark and still hours of the night. On opening the door +a party of three or four clients were about to knock, but having given +them admission he went away at rather a brisk, if not a hasty pace. + +Darby having concluded this interview was proceeding, not exactly in the +direction of M'Clutchy's, but as the reader shall soon hear, to a very +different person, no other than the Rev. Phineas Lucre, D.D., Rector of +the Parish of Castle Cumber; a living at that time worth about eighteen +hundred a year. + +The Rev. Phineas Lucre, then, was a portly gentleman, having a proud, +consequential air stamped upon his broad brow and purple features. +His wife was niece to a nobleman, through whose influence he had been +promoted over the head of a learned and pious curate, whose junior +Mr. Lucre had been in the ministry only about the short period of +twenty-five years. Many persons said that the curate had been badly +treated in this transaction, but those persons must have known that +he had no friends except the poor and afflicted of his parish, whose +recommendation of him to his bishop, or the minister of the day, +would have had little weight. His domestic family, too, was large, a +circumstance rather to his disadvantage; but he himself was of studious, +simple, and inexpensive habits. As for dinners he gave none, except +a few fragments of his family's scanty meal to some hungry, perhaps, +deserted children, or to a sick laborer when abandoned by his landlord +or employer, the moment he became unable to work. From the gentry of +the neighborhood he got no invitations, because he would neither +sing--dance--drink--nor countenance the profligacies of their sons--nor +flatter the pride and vanity of their wives and daughters. For these +reasons, and because he dared to preach home truths from his pulpit, he +and his unpretending children had been frequently made objects of their +ridicule and insolence. What right, then, had any one to assert that the +Rev. Mr. Clement had received injustice by the promotion over his head +of the Rev. Phineas Lucre, to the wealthy living of Castle Cumber, +when he had no plausible or just grounds beyond those to which we have +adverted, on which to rest his claim for preferment? The curate was +pious, we admit, but, then, his wife's uncle was not a lord. He was +learned, but, then, he had neither power nor the inclination to repay +his patrons--supposing him to have such, by a genius for intrigue, +or the possession of political influence. He discharged his religious +duties as well as the health of a frame worn by affliction, toil, and +poverty, permitted him; but, then, he wrote no pamphlets adapted to the +politics by which he might rise in the church. He visited the sick and +prayed with them; but he employed not his abilities in proving to the +world that the Establishment rewarded piety and learning, rather than +venal talents for state intrigue or family influence. + +Far different from him was his aforenamed rector, the Rev. Phineas +Lucre. Though immeasurably inferior to his curate in learning, and +all the requisite qualifications for a minister of God, yet was he +sufficiently well read in the theology of his day, to keep up a splendid +equipage. Without piety to God, or charity to man, he possessed, +however, fervent attachment, to his church, and unconquerable devotion +to his party. If he neglected the widow and the orphan whom he could +serve, he did not neglect the great and honorable, who could serve +himself. He was inaccessible to the poor, 'tis true; but on the other +hand, what man exhibited such polished courtesy, and urbanity of manner, +to the rich and exalted. Inferiors complained that he was haughty and +insolent; yet it was well known, in the teeth of all this, that no man +ever gave more signal proofs of humility and obedience to those who +held patronage over him. It mattered little, therefore, that he had +no virtues for the sick, or poverty-stricken, in private life, when he +possessed so many excellent ones for those in whose eyes it was worth +while to be virtuous as a public man. + +Mr. Lucre, possessing high political connection, and withal affecting +to be very religious, presented singular points of character for +observation. He was a great disciplinarian in theory, and rendered it +imperative on his poor overworn curate to be so in practice; but being +always engaged in the pursuit of some ecclesiastical windfall, he +consequently spent most of his time, and of his money, either in our +own metropolis or London--but principally in the latter. He did not, +however, leave either his discipline or his devotion as a public +man behind him. In Dublin, he was practical in worshipping the Lord +Lieutenant--and in London, the King; whilst his curate was only +worshipping God in the country. The result of his better sense and more +seasonable piety soon became evident, on his part, in the shape of an +appointment to a second living; and that of his curate, in obscurity, +poverty, and that useless gift, a good conscience. + +We have said that Mr. Lucre was not Pious; yet we are far from saying +that he had not all the credit of piety. His name, in fact, was always +conspicuous among the most bountiful contributors to the religious +societies. Indeed he looked upon most of them as excellent auxiliaries +to the cold and scanty labors of those worldly-minded or indolent +pastors, who think, when they have furnished every family in the parish +with a Bible and a sheaf of tracts, that they have done their duty. Mr. +Lucre, consequently, bore an excellent character everywhere but among +the poor, sick, and indigent of his two large parishes; and if a +eulogium had been called for on him, he would have received an admirable +one from the societies to whose funds he contributed, from the gentry of +his respective parishes, and from the grand juries of the two counties +in which they we're situated. + +What more than this could be expected? Here was ample testimony for +those who required it, to establish the zeal, efficiency, talents, +integrity, charity and piety of that worthy and useful minister of +God--the Rev. Phineas Lucre, D.D. + +Such were a few of the virtues which belonged to this gentleman. His +claims for preferment were, indeed, peculiarly strong; and when we +mention the political influence of himself and his friends, his wife's +powerful connections, added to his able pamphlets, and the great mass +of sound information regarding the state of the country, which in the +discharge of his religious duties, he communicated from time to time to +the government of the day--we think we have said enough to satisfy our +readers that he ought not to be overlooked in the wealthy and pious +Establishment, which the Irish Church then was. Still, in fact, we +cannot stop here, for in good truth Mr. Lucre had yet stronger claims +for preferment than any we have yet mentioned. He did not stand in need +of it. In addition to a large dowry received with his wife, he possessed +a private fortune of fourteen hundred pounds per annum, with which, +joined to his two large livings, he was enabled to turn out a very +primitive and apostolic equipage, such as would have made the hearts +of the Apostles rejoice in reflecting, that so many new virtues were +to spring up in the progress of society from the lowly-religion they +established. + +Such is a pretty full sketch of a large class which existed at a former +period in the Established Church of Ireland. Mr. Lucre was, besides, +what may be termed one of the first fruits of that which is called +modern sanctity or saintship, being about two-thirds of the Tory and +High Churchman, and one of the Evangelical. + +In the same parish of Castle Cumber resided two other clergyman of +a different creed and character; the Rev. James Roche, the venerable +parish priest, was one of those admirable pastors whose lives are the +most touching and beautiful exponent of the Christian faith. In this +amiable man were combined all these primitive virtues which are so +suitable, and, we may add, necessary, to those who are called upon to +mingle with the cares and affections, joys and sufferings, of an humble +people. Without pride, beyond the serene simplicity which belonged to +his office, he yet possessed the power of engaging the affections and +respect of all who knew him, whether high or low. With the poor, and +those entrusted to his spiritual charge, were all his sympathies, both +as a man and a pastor. His, indeed, was no idle charge, nor idly, nor +with coldness or pride, were its duties entered upon or performed. His +little purse and small means were, less his own than the property of the +poor around him; his eye was vigilant of want and of sorrow, of crime +and frailty--and wherever the painful rebuke, the humble and the +consoling word was necessary, there stood he to I administer it. Such +was Father Roche, as the pastor of a large but poor flock, who had few +sympathies to expect, save those which this venerable man was able to +afford them. Very different from him, on the other hand, was his +curate, the Rev. Patrick M'Cabe, or M'Flail, as he was nicknamed by the +Orangemen of the parish, in consequence of a very unsacerdotal tendency +to use the horsewhip, as a last resource, especially in cases where +reason and the influence of argument failed. He was a powerful young +man, in point of physical strength, but as his temperament was hot and +choleric, the consciousness of this strength often led him, under its +impulse, in desperate cases, to a mode of reasoning, which, after +all, no man more than himself subsequently regretted. Zealous he +unquestionably was, but beyond the bounds prescribed by a spirit of +Christian moderation. I know not how it happened, but the Orangeman +hated him with an intensity of detestation, which, however, he paid back +to them tenfold. His vast strength, which had been much improved by a +strong relish for athletic exercises, at which he was unrivaled, when +joined to a naturally courageous and combative temperament, often +prompted him to manifest, in cases of self-defence, the possession +of powers which they feared to call into exercise. This disposition, +however, which, after all, was not so unnatural, he properly restrained +and kept I in subjection; but, in order to compensate for it, he +certainly did pepper them, in his polemical discourses, with a vehemence +of abuse, which, unquestionably, they deserved at his hands--and got. +With the exception of too much zeal in religious matters, his conduct +was, in every other respect, correct and proper. + +To return now to Darby, whose steps have been directed, not exactly +towards Constitution Cottage, but towards the spacious glebe-house of +the Rev. Phineas Lucre, which brought him about a mile or two out of his +way. The fact is he was beginning to tire of M'Slime, who, whenever he +had occasion for his services, was certain to shear him of his fees +on the one hand precisely as M'Clutchy did on the other. The change of +agents was consequently of no advantage to him, as he had expected it +would be; for such was the rapacity of the two harpies that each of +them took as much as they could out of the unfortunate tenants, and left +Darby little to comfort himself, with the exception of what he got +by their virtuous example, an example which he was exceedingly apt to +follow, if not to exceed. For this reason he detested them both, and +consequently felt a natural anxiety to set them together by the ears +whenever he thought the proper occasion for it should arrive. Now, an +event had taken place the very day before this, which opened up to his +mind a new plan of operations altogether. This was the death of the +under gaoler of Castle Cumber. Darby began to think of this as a good +speculation, should it succeed; but alas! upon second reflection there +stood an insurmountable difficulty in his way. He was a Roman Catholic +so far as he was anything; and this being a situation of too much trust +and confidence at the period to be given to any one of that persuasion, +he knew he he could not obtain it. Well, but here again he was +fortunate, and not without the prospect of some consolation. The +extraordinary movement in the religious world, called the New +Reformation, had just then set in with a liveliness of judgment, and a +celerity of conversion among the lower classes of Roman Catholics, which +scarcely anybody could understand. The saints, however, or evangelical +party, headed by an amiable, benevolent, but somewhat credulous +nobleman, on whose property the movement first commenced, ascribed this +extraordinary conversion altogether to themselves. + +The season to be sure in which it occurred was one of unprecedented +destitution and famine. Fuel was both scarce and bad--the preceding +crops had failed, and food was not only of a deleterious quality, but +scarcely to be procured at all. The winter, too, was wet and stormy, and +the deluges of rain daily and incessant. In fact, cold, and nakedness, +and hunger met together in almost every house and every cabin, with the +exception of those of the farmers alone, who, by the way, mostly held +land upon a very small scale. In this district, then, and in such a +period of calamity, and misery, and utter famine, did the movement +called the New Reformation originate. + +“Sure, blood alive,” thought Darby, “now that every one's turnin', +there's no harm to have a thrial at it myself; I can become as good a +Prodestan as most o' them in four and twenty hours, and stand a chance +of the Jaolership for my pains. I'll go to Mr. Lucre, who is a gentleman +at any rate, and allow him to think he has the convartin' o' me. Well,” + he proceeded, with a chuckle, “it's one comfort, divil a much religion +I have to lose; and another, that the divil a much I have to gain in +exchange; and now,” he went on, “there's little Solomon thinks I did'nt +see him burnin' the wrong letther; but faith, Solomon, my lad, there +must be something in it that would do neither you nor M'Clutchy much +good, if it was known, or you wouldn't thry that trick--but, in the mean +time, I've secured them both.” + +Now, the reader must know, that Darby's return in such a truly +charitable spirit to ask Solomon for the virtue of his prayers in behalf +of M'Clutchy, was as knavish a ruse as ever was put in practice. Solomon +had placed M'Clutchy's letter secretly under a brief, as we have said, +and Darby, who knew the identical spot and position in which M'Slime was +in the habit of praying, knew also that he would kneel with his back to +the desk on which the brief lay. It all happened precisely as he wished, +and, accordingly, while Solomon was doing the hypocrite, Darby did the +thief, and having let in those who were approaching, he came away, as we +said. + +He lost not a moment after he had got to a lonely part of the road, +in putting them between two flat stones--we mean M'Clutchy's letter to +Solomon, with that gentleman's answer. There, he determined, they should +remain until after dark, when he could secure both without risk, and see +what might be done with them. + +“Now,” thought he, “that I've Solomon in a double pickle--for he can't +inquire about the letter without letting it be seen that he tould a +lie, and practised a bit of knavery, any how--an' as regwdin' the other +thing, I have him fast.” + +In the meantime, Father M'Cabe, who had read M'Slime's paragraph in the +Castle Cumber “True Blue,” respecting Darby's conversion, had a sharp +eye out for him, as they term it in the country. Indeed, after two or +three vain attempts to see him, the Rev. gentleman was satisfied with +sending him a gentle message of congratulation upon his change of +creed, which was significantly wound up by a slight hint, that he might, +probably, on their next meeting, give him a nice treat, but of what +particular description was not communicated. Darby having secured the +letters as described, was proceeding at a pretty quick pace towards Mr. +Lucre's, when, whom should he meet in a narrow part of the way, which +was enclosed between two immense white thorn hedges, through which any +notion of escape was impracticable--but the Rev. Father M'Cabe. He +tried every shift--looked back as if he expected some friend to follow +him--then to the right--again to the left--then stooped to examine the +ground, as if he had lost something of value or importance. At length, +finding every other trick useless, he adopted that one so common among +boys in desperate cases--we mean the attempt to make a mask of the right +shoulder in order to conceal the face. Even this failed, and he found +himself compelled to meet the fixed and stern gaze of the colossal +priest, who was on horseback, and bore in his huge right hand a whip, +that might, so gripped, have tamed a buffalo, or the centaur himself, if +he were not fabulous. + +“Why--my good, honest and most religious friend, Mr. Darby O'Drive--the +odor of whose sanctity, you scoundrel, has already perfumed the whole +Parish--is it possible that Providence in kindness to me, and in pure +justice to yourself, has thrown you into my way at last.” This for the +present was accompanied only by a peculiar quivering motion of the whip, +resulting from the quick vibrations which his sense of Darby's hypocrisy +had communicated through the hand to the weapon which it held. + +“God save your Reverence!” replied Darby, “an' in troth I'm glad to +see you look so well--faith it's in a glow o' health you are, may God +continue it to you! Be my sowl, it's you that can pepper the Orangemen, +any how, your Reverence--and how is Father Roche, sir--although sure +enough he's no match for you in givin' it home to the thieves.” + +“Silence, you hypocritical sleeveen, don't think you'll crawl up my +wrist--as you do up M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's. Is it true that you have +become an apostate?” + +Darby here attempted to work up a kind of sly significant wheedling +expression into his eye, as he stole a half timid, half confidant glance +at the priest--but it would not do--the effort was a failure, and no +wonder--for there before him sat the terrible catechist like an embodied +thunder cloud--red, lurid, and ready to explode before him--nay he could +see the very lightning playing and scintillating in his eyes, just as +it often does about the cloud before the bursting of the peal. In this +instance there was neither sympathy nor community of feeling between +them, and Darby found that no meditated exposition of pious fraud, +such as “quartering on the enemy,” or “doing the thieves,” or any other +interested ruse, had the slightest chance of being tolerated by the +uncompromising curate. The consequence was, that the rising roguery died +away from Darby's face, on which there remained nothing but a blank +and baffled expression, that gave strong assurance of his being in a +situation of great perplexity. The most timid and cowardly animals will, +however, sometimes turn upon their captors, and Darby although he +felt no disposition to bandy words with the curate, resolved, +notwithstanding, to abide by the new creed, until he should be able +to ascertain his chance of the gaolership. There was, besides, another +motive. He knew Mr. Lucre's character so well, that he determined to +pursue such a course, during his interview, as might ensure him a sound +horse-whipping; for it occurred to him that a bit of martyrdom would +make a capital opening argument during his first interview with Mr. +Lucre. + +“Did you hear me, sir?” again inquired the curate, making his whip +whistle past his own right foot, just as if he had aimed it at the +stirrup--“is it true that you have turned apostate?” + +“I thought you knew it, sir,” said Darby, “or if you didn't, why did you +read me out the Sunday before last from the althar?” + +“Then you acknowledge it,” cried the priest, “you have the brass to +acknowledge it, have you?” And here the whip made a most ferocious sweep +in the air. + +“Yes,” replied Darby, thinking by the admission to increase the +impending castigation--“yes, sir; I don't belong to your flock now--you +have no authority whatsomever over me--mind that.” + +[Illustration: PAGE 216-- Oh, what a sweet convert you are] + +“Haven't I indeed, Mr. Convert--oh, what a sweet convert you are--but +we'll see whether I have or not, by and by. Where are you bound for now? +To taste of Mr. Lucre's flesh pots? eh?” + +“I'm bound for Mr. Lucre's, sure enough; and I hope there's no great +harm in that.” + +“Oh, none in the world, my worthy neophyte, none. Mr. Lucre's argument +and Lord ----'s bacon are very powerful during this hard season. Those +that haven't a stitch to their backs are clothed--those that haven't a +morsel to eat are fed--and if they haven't a fire, they get plenty of +fuel to burn their apostate skins at; and because this heretical crew +avail themselves of the destitution of these wretches--and lure them +from their own faith by a blanket and a flitch of bacon, they call that +conversion--the new Reformation by the way, ha--ha--ha--oh, it's too +good!” + +“And do you think, sir,” said Darby, “that if they had a hard or an +enlightened hoult of their own creed, that that would do it?” + +The whip here described a circle, one part of whose circumference sang +within a few inches of Darby's ear--who, forgetting his relish for +martyrdom, drew back his head to avoid it. + +“None of your back jaw,” said M'Cabe; “don't you know, sirra, that in +spite of this Methodist Lord and the proud parson's temptations, you +are commanded to renounce the devil, the world, and the flesh? Don't you +know that?” + +“But,” replied Darby, “are we commanded to renounce the devil, the +world, and a bit o' fresh mait?” + +“Ha--you snivelling scoundrel,” said the curate, “you've got their +arguments already I see--but I know how to take them out of you, before +you leave my hands.” + +“Surely,” continued Darby, “you wouldn't have a naked man renounce a +warm pair o' breeches, or a good coat to his back--does the Scriptur +forbid him that?” + +“You will have it,” replied the curate, who felt for the moment +astounded at Darby's, audacity, “you are determined on it; but I will +have patience with you yet, a little, till I see what brought you over, +if I can. Don't you admit, as I said, that you are commanded to renounce +the devil, the world, and the flesh--particularly the flesh, sirra, for +there's a peculiar stress laid upon that in the Greek.” + +“Well, but does it go in the Greek against a flitch o' bacon and a wisp +o' greens, your reverence? Faith, beggin' your pardon, if you were to +see some o' the new convarts, how comfortable they are wid their good +frieze coats, and their new warm blankets, sittin' beside their good +fires, you'd maybe not blame them so much as you do. Your religion, sir, +only provides for the sowl; but theirs, you see, provides any how for +the body--and faith, I say, the last is a great advantage in these hard +times.” + +The priest's astonishment increased at the boldness with which Darby +continued the argument, or rather, which prompted him to argue at all. +He looked at him, and gave a smile. + +“Well,” said he, almost forgetting his anger--for he was by no means +deficient in a perception of the humorous--“but no matter--it will do +by and by. You villain,” said he, forced into the comic spirit of the +argument; “do you not know that it said--cursed is he who becometh an +apostate, and eateth the flesh of heretics.” + +“Aitin' the flesh of heretics is forbidden, I dare say, sure enough,” + replied Darby; “an' troth it's a commandment not likely to be +broken--for dirty morsels they are, God knows; but is there anything +said against aitin' the flesh of their sheep or cows--or that forbids us +to have a touch at a good fat goose, or a turkey, or any harmless little +trifle o' the kind? Troth myself never thought, sir, that beef or mutton +was of any particular religion before.” + +“Yes, sir; beef and mutton, when they're good, are Catholic--but when +they're lean, why, like a bad Christian, they're Protestant, of course, +and that's well known,” said the priest, still amused, against his will, +by Darby's arguments. + +“Faith, and wid great respect, the same is but a poor argument for your +own--hem--I mane, sir, for your church; for if the best beef and mutton +be of the thrue religion, the Protestants have it all to nothing. +There, they're infallible, and no mistake. The fat o' the land, your +reverence,” said Darby, with a wink; “don't you understand? They've got +that any how.” + +A slight cut of the whip across the shoulders made him jump and rub +himself, whilst the priest, struck with his utter want of principle, +exclaimed. + +“You double-dealing scoundrel, how dare you wink at me, as if we felt +anything in common?” + +The blow occasioned Darby's gorge to rise; for like every other knave, +when conscious of his own dishonesty, and its detection, he felt his bad +passions overpower him. + +“You must,” said the priest, whose anger was now excited by his +extraordinary assurance--“you must renounce their religion, you must +renounce M'Slime and Lucre--their flitches, flannels, and friezes. You +must--” + +“Beggin' your pardon,” said Darby, “I never received any of their +flitches or their flannels. I don't stand in need of them--it's an +enlightened independent convart I am.” + +“Well, then,” continued the priest, “you must burn their tracts and +their treatises, their books and Bibles of every description, and return +to your own church.” + +“To become acquainted,” replied Darby, “with that piece o' doctrine +in your hand there? Faith and I feel the truth o' that as it is, your +reverence; and it is yourself that can bring it home to one. But, why, +wid submission, don't you imitate Father Roche? By me sowl, I tell you +to your face, that so long; as you take your divinity from the saddler's +shop, so long you will have obedient men, but indifferent Catholics.” + +“What!” replied M'Cabe, in a rage, “do you dare to use such language to +my face--a reprobate--a brazen contumacious apostate! I've had this +in for you; and now (here he gave him a round half dozen) go off to +M'Slime, and Lucre, and Lord------, and when you see them, tell them +from me, that if they don't give up perverting my flock, I'll give them +enough of their own game.” + +Darby's face got pale, with a most deadly expression of rage--an +expression, indeed, so very different from that cringing, creeping one +which it usually wore, that M'Cabe, on looking at him, felt startled, if +not awed, intrepid and exasperated as he was. Darby stood and looked at +him coldly, but, at the same time, with unflinching fearlessness in the +face. + +“You have done it,” he said, “and I knew you would. Now, listen to +me--are you not as aiger to make convarts as either M'Slime or Lucre?” + +“You will have it again, you scoundrel,” said the curate, approaching +him with uplifted whip. + +“Stand back,” said Darby, “I've jist got all I wanted--stand back, or by +all the vestments ever you wore, if your whip only touches my body, +as light as if it wouldn't bend a feather, I'll have you in heaven, or +purgatory, before you can cry 'God forgive me.'” + +The other still advanced, and was about to let the whip fall, when Darby +stretched his right hand before him, holding a cocked and loaded pistol +presented to the curate's breast. + +“Now,” said he, “let your whip fall if you like; but if you do, I'll +lodge this bullet,” touching the pistol with his left forefinger, “in +your heart, and your last mass is said. You blame Lucre and M'Slime for +making convarts; but ai'en't you every bit as anxious to bring over +the Protestants as they are to bring over us? Aren't you paradin' them +Sunday af'ther Sunday, and boastin' that you are takin' more from the +heretics than they are takin' from you? Wasn't your last convart Bob +Beatty, that you brought over because he had the fallin' sickness, and +you left it upon him never to enter a church door, or taste bacon; and +now you have him that was a rank Orangeman and a blood-hound six weeks +ago, a sound Catholic to-day? Why, your reverence, with regard to +convart makin' divil the laist taste o' differ I see between you on +either side, only that they are able to give betther value in this world +for the change than you are--that's all. You're surprised at seeing my +pistols, but of late I don't go any where unprovided; for, to tell you +the thruth, either as a bailiff or a convart, it's not likely I'd be +safe widout them; and I think that yourself are a very good proof of +it.” + +“Very well, my good, fine, pious convart; I'll keep my eye on you. I +understand your piety.” + +“And I can tell you, my good, meek, pious priest, I'll keep mine on you; +and now pass on, if you're wise--and so _bannath lath_.” + +Each then passed on, pursuing his respective destination. They had +not gone far, however, when both chanced to look back at the same +moment--M'Cabe shook his whip, with a frown, at Darby, who, on the +other side, significantly touched the pocket in which he carried his +fire-arms, and nodded his head in return. + +Now, it is an undeniable fact, that characters similar to that of Darby, +were too common in the country; and, indeed, it is to be regretted that +they were employed at all, inasmuch as the insolence of their conduct, +on the one hand, did nearly as much harm as the neglect of the +hard-hearted landlord himself, on the other. Be this as it may, however, +we are bound to say that Darby deserved much more at M'Cabe's hands than +either that Rev. gentleman was aware of then, or our readers now. The +truth was, that no sooner had M'Slime's paragraph touching Darby's +conversion gone abroad, than he became highly unpopular among the +Catholics of the parish. Father M'Cabe, in consequence of Darby's +conduct, and taking him as a specimen, uttered some lively prophecies, +touching' the ultimate fate of the new Reformation. He even admonished +his flock against Darby:-- + +“I have warned you all now,” he said, “and if after this I hear of a +single perversion, woe be unto that pervert, for it is better for his +miserable soul that he had never been born. Is there a man here base +enough to sell his birthright for a mess of Mr. Lucre's pottage? Is +there a man here, who is not too strongly imbued with a hatred of +heresy, to laugh to scorn their bribes and their Bibles. Not a man, or, +if there is, let him go out from amongst us, in order that we may know +him--that we may avoid his outgoings and his incomings--that we may flee +from him as a pestilence--a plague--a famine. No, there is none here so +base and unprincipled as all that--and I here prophesy that from this +day forth, this Reformation has got its death-blow--and that time will +prove it. Now, remember, I warn you against their arts, their bribes, +and their temptations--and if, as I said, any one of this flock shall +prove so wicked as to join them--then, I say again, better for his +unfortunate soul that he had never come into existence, than to come in +contact with this leprous and polluted heresy.” + +Darby having heard--for he never went to mass--that he was denounced by +the priest, and feeling that his carrying into execution the heartless +and oppressive proceedings of M'Clutchy had, taken together, certainly +made him as unpopular a man as any individual of his contemptible +standing in life could be, resolved, in the first place, to carry arms +for his own protection, and, in the next, to take a step which he +knew would vex the curate sorely. Accordingly, he lost no time in +circulating, and having it circulated by others, that the great +Reformation Society would give, in a private way, five guineas a head +to every convert, taking them either by the individual or the family, +although the conversion of the latter, he said, was far more coveted +than even a greater number of individuals, when they were not bound by +the same ties of blood, inasmuch, as the bringing them over by families +was an outpouring of grace which could not be withstood. The consequence +was, that all the profligate and unprincipled who had cold, and +nakedness, and famine, in addition to their own utter want of all moral +feeling to stimulate them, looked upon the new Reformation and its +liberal promises as a complete windfall blown into their way by some +unexpected piece of good fortune. Five guineas a head! And all for only +going to church, and gaining for ever more the heart and affections of +the good and kind Lord ------. There was also another class, the simple +and honest poor, who had no other way of avoiding all the rigors and +privations of that terrible season, than a painful compliance with the +only principle which could rescue themselves and their children, from a +state of things worse than death itself--and which might probably have +terminated in death--we mean the principle of the new Reformation. There +was, still, a third class--which consisted of a set of thorough Irish +wags, who looked upon the whole thing as an excellent joke--and who, +while they had not a rag to their backs, nor a morsel for their mouths, +enjoyed the whole ceremony of reading their recantation, renouncing +Popery, and all that, as a capital spree while it lasted, and a thing +that ought by all means to be encouraged, until better times came. + +In vain, therefore, did Father M'Cabe denounce and prophesy--in vain did +he launch all the dogmas of the church--in vain did he warn, lecture, +and threaten--Darby's private hint had gone abroad precisely a day +or two before their encounter, and the consequence was what might be +expected. Darby, in fact, overreached him, a circumstance of which, at +the period of their meeting, he was ignorant; but he had just learned +how “the word,” as it was called, had spread, in so extraordinary a +manner, maugre all his opposition a short time before they met; and our +readers need not feel surprised at the tone and temper with which, after +having heard such intelligence, he addressed Darby, nor at the treatment +which that worthy personage received at his hands. Had he known that it +was Darby's “word” which in point of fact had occasioned “the spread” + we speak of, he would have made that worthy missionary exhibit a much +greater degree of alacrity than he did. + +Before Darby arrives at Mr. Lucre's, however, we must take the liberty +of anticipating him a little, in order to be present at a conversation +which occurred on this very subject between the worthy Rector and the +Rev. Mr. Clement, his curate. Mr. Clement, like the pious and excellent +Father Roche, was one of those clergymen who feel that these unbecoming +and useless exhibitions, called religious discussions, instead of +promoting a liberal or enlarged view of religion, are only calculated to +envenom the feelings, to extinguish charity, and to contract the +heart. Nay, more, there never was a discussion, they said--and we join +them--since the days of Ussher and the Jesuit, that did not terminate in +a tumult of angry and unchristian recrimination, in which all the common +courtesies of life, not to mention the professed duties of Christian +men, were trampled on, and violated without scruple. In the preparations +for the forthcoming discussion, therefore, neither of these worthy men +took any part whatsoever. The severe duties of so large a parish, the +calls of the sick, the poor, and the dying, together with the varied +phases of human misery that pressed upon their notice as they toiled +through the obscure and neglected paths of life, all in their opinion, +and, in ours, too, constituted a sufficiently ample code of duty, +without embroiling themselves in these loud and turbulent encounters. + +Mr. Clement, who, on this same day, had received a message from Mr. +Lucre, found that gentleman in remarkably good spirits. He had just +received a present of a fine haunch of venison from a fox-hunting +nobleman in the neighborhood, and was gloating over it, ere its descent +into the larder, with the ruddy fire of epicurism blazing in his eyes. +“Clement,” said he, with a grave, subdued grunt of enjoyment, “come this +way--turn up the venison, Francis--eh, what say you now, Clement? Look +at the depth of the fat!--what a prime fellow that was!--see the flank +he had!--six inches on the ribs at, least! As our countryman, Goldsmith, +says, 'the lean was so white, and the fat was so ruddy.'” + +Clement had often before witnessed this hot spirit of luxury, which +becomes doubly carnal and gross in a minister of God. On this occasion +he did not even smile, but replied gravely, “I am not a judge of +venison, Mr. Lucre; but, I believe you have misquoted the poet, who, I +think, says, 'the fat was so white, and the lean was so ruddy.'” + +“Well, that's not much, Clement; but, if you were a judge, this would +both delight and astonish you. Now, Francis, I charge you, as you value +your place, your reputation, your future welfare, to be cautious +in dressing it. You know how I wish it done, and, besides, Lord +Mountmorgage, Sir Harry Beevor, Lord ------, and a few clerical friends, +are to dine with me. Come in Clement--Francis, you have heard what +I said! If that haunch is spoiled, I shall discharge you without a +character most positively, so look to it.” + +When they entered the library, the table of which was covered with +religious magazines, missionary papers, and reports of religious +societies, both at home and abroad, Mr. Lucre, after throwing himself +into a rich cushioned arm-chair, motioned to his curate to take a seat. + +“I have sent for you, Clement,” said he, “to have your advice and +assistance on a subject, in which, I feel confident, that as a sincere +and zealous Protestant, you will take a warm interest. You have heard of +the establishment of our New Reformation Society, of course.” + +“I believe it is pretty generally known,” replied Clement. + +“It is now,” replied Lucre; “but our objects are admirable. We propose +to carry controversy into all the strongholds of Popery--to enlighten +both priest and people, and, if possible, to transfer the whole Popish +population--_per satiram_--by the lump, as it were--” + +“_Per saturum_, I believe,” observed Clement, bowing, “if I may take the +liberty.” + +“Sati, satu--well, you may be right; my memory, Clement, retains large +passages best, and ever did--to transfer the whole Popish population +to the Established Church. It is a noble, a glorious speculation, if it +only can be accomplished. Think of the advantages it would confer upon +us! What stability would it not give the Church.” + +“I cannot exactly see what peculiar stability it would give the Church,” + replied Clement, “with the exception of mere numbers alone.” + +“How so--what do you mean?” + +“Why, sir,” replied Clement, “if we had the numbers you speak of +to-morrow, we would be certainly worse off than we are today. They could +only pay us our tithes, and that they do as it is; if they formed a +portion, and the largest portion they would form, of our church, think +of the immense number of clergy they would require to look to their +religious wants--the number of churches and chapels of ease that must be +built--the number of livings that must be divided--nay, my dear sir, in +addition to this, you may easily see, that for every one bishop now, we +should have at least four, then, and that the incomes would diminish in +proportion. As it is now, sir, we have the tithes without the trouble of +laboring for them, but it would be a different case in your new position +of affairs.” + +Mr. Lucre, who, in the heat of his zeal, had neither permitted himself +to see matters in this light, nor to perceive that Clement's arguments +concealed, under a grave aspect, something of irony and satire, looked +upon his curate with dismay--the smooth and rosy cheek got pale, as did +the whole purple face down to the third chin, each of which reminded one +of the diminished rainbows in the sky, if we may be allowed to except +that they were not so heavenly. + +“Clement,” said he, “you amaze me--that is a most exceedingly clear view +of the matter. Transfer them! no such thing, it would be a most dreadful +calamity, unless church property were proportionately increased; but, +could not that be done, Clement? Yes,” said he, exulting at the idea, +as one of which he ought to feel proud, “that could and would be +done--besides I relish the multiplication of the bishoprics, under any +circumstances, and therefore we will proceed with the Reformation. At +all events, it would be a great blessing to get rid of Popery, which we +would do, if we could accomplish this glorious project.” + +“I must confess, sir,” replied Mr. Clement gravely, “that I have never +been anxious for a mere change of speculative opinions in any man, +unless when accompanied by a corresponding improvement in his life and +morals. With respect to the Reformation Society, I beg leave to +observe that I think the plan for the present is unseasonable, and only +calculated to fill the kingdom with religious dissention and hatred. +The people, sir, are not prepared to have their religion taken by storm; +they are too shrewd for that; and I really think we have no just cause +to feel anxious for the conversion of those who cannot appreciate the +principles upon which they embrace our faith, as must be the case with +ninety-nine out of every hundred of them. I have ever been of opinion +that the policy pursued by England towards this country has been the +bane of its happiness. She deprived the Irish Roman Catholics of the +means of acquiring education, and then punished them for the crimes +which proceeded from their ignorance. They were a dissatisfied, a +tumultuous, and an impracticable, because they were an oppressed, +people; and where, by the way, is there a people, worthy to be named +such, who will or ought to rest contented under penal and oppressive +laws. But there was a day when they would have been grateful for the +relaxation of such laws. Oppression, however, has its traditions, and +so has revenge, and these can descend from father to son, without +education. If Roman Catholic disabilities had been removed at a proper +time, they would long since have been forgotten, but they were not, and +now they are remembered, and will be remembered. The prejudices of the +Roman Catholics, however, and their enmity towards those who oppressed +them, increased with their numbers and their knowledge. The religion of +those who kept them down was Protestant; and think you, sir, that, be +the merits of that religion what they may, these are the people to +come over in large masses, without esteem for us, reflection, or any +knowledge of its principles, and embrace the creed of the very men +whom they look upon as their oppressors. Sir, there is but one way of +converting the Irish, and it this:--Let them find the best arguments for +Protestantism in the lives of its ministers, and of all who profess it. +Let the higher Protestant clergy move more among the humbler classes +even of their own flocks--let them be found more frequently where +the Roman Catholic priest always is--at the sick-bed--in the house of +mourning, of death, and of sin--let them abandon the unbecoming pursuits +of an ungodly ambition--cast from them the crooked and dishonest +manoeuvres of political negotiation and intrigue--let them live more +humbly, and more in accordance with the gospel which they preach--let +them not set their hearts upon the church merely because it is a wealthy +corporation, calculated rather to gratify their own worldly ambition or +cupidity, than the spiritual exigencies of their own flocks--let them +not draw their revenues from the pockets of a poor people who disclaim +their faith, whilst they denounce and revile that faith as a thing not +to be tolerated. Let them do this, sir--free Protestantism from the +golden shackles which make it the slave of Mammon, that it may be able +to work--do this, and depend upon it, that it will then flourish as it +ought; but, in my humble opinion, until such a reform first takes place +with ourselves, it is idle to expect that Roman Catholics will come +over to us, unless, indeed, a few from sordid and dishonest motives--and +these we were better without. I think, therefore, that the present +Reformation Society is unseasonable and ill-advised, nor do I hesitate +to predict that the event will prove it so. In conclusion, sir, I am +sorry to say, that I've seldom seen one of those very zealous clergymen +who would not rather convert one individual from Popery than ten from +sin.” + +“Why, Clement, you are a liberal!” + +“I trust, sir, I am a Christian. As for liberalism, as it is generally +understood, no man scorns the cant of it more than I do. But I cannot +think that a Roman Catholic man sincerely worshipping God--even with, +many obvious errors in his forms, or, with what we consider absurdities +in his very creed--I cannot think, I say, that such a man, worshipping +the Almighty according to his knowledge, will be damned. To think so +is precisely the doctrine of exclusive salvation, with which we charge +Popery itself.” + +Mr. Lucre's face, during the enunciation of these sentiments, +glowed like a furnace thrice heated--he turned up his eyes--groaned +aloud--struck the arm of his chair with his open hand--then commenced +fanning his breast, as if the act were necessary to cool that +evangelical indignation, in which there is said to be no sin. + +“Clement,” said he, “this--this”--here he kept fanning down his choler +for half a minute--“this is--astonishing--awful--monstrous--monstrous +doctrine to come from the lips of a clergyman--man”--another +fanning--“of the Established Church; but what is still worse, +from--from--the lips of my curate! my curate! I'll trouble you to touch +the bell--thank you, sir. But, Mr. Clement, the circumstance of giving +utterance to such opinions, so abruptly, as if you were merely stating +some common-place fact--without evincing the slightest consideration for +me--without reflecting upon who and what I am--without remembering my +position--my influence--the purity and orthodoxy of my doctrine--the +services I have rendered to religion, and to a Protestant +government--(John, a glass of water; quickly)--you forget, sir, that I +have proved the Romish Church to be both damnable and idolatrous--that +she is without the means of salvation--that her light is out--her +candlestick removed--and that she is nothing now but darkness, and +abomination, and blasphemy. Yes, sir; knowing all this, you could openly +express such doctrines, without giving me a moment's notice, or anything +to, prepare me for such a shock!--sir, I am very much distressed +indeed; but I thank my God that this excitement--(bring it here, +John; quick:)--that this excitement is Christian excitement--Christian +excitement, Mr. Clement; for I am not, I trust, without thai zeal for +the interests of my church, of my King, and of Protestantism at large, +which becomes a man who has labored for them as I have done.” + +Here, notwithstanding the excessive thirst which seemed to have fastened +on him, he put the glass to his lips; but, sooth to say, like the +widow's cruse, it seemed to have been gifted with the miraculous +property of going from his lips as full as when it came to them. + +“I assure you, Mr. Lucre,” replied Clement, “in uttering my sentiments, +I most certainly had not the slightest intention of giving you offence. +I spoke calmly, and candidly, and truly, what I think and feel--and I +regret that I should have offended you so much; for I only expressed +the common charity of our religion, which hopeth all things--is slow to +condemn, and forbids us to judge, lest we be judged.” + +“Clement,” said Mr. Lucre, who, to speak truth, had ascribed his +excitement--what a base, servile, dishonest, hypocritical scoundrel of +a word is that excitement--ready to adopt any meaning, to conceal any +failing, to disguise any fact, to run any lying message whatsoever at +the beck and service of falsehood or hypocrisy. If a man is drunk, in +steps excitement--Lord, sir, he was only excited, a little excited;--if +a man is in a rage, like Mr. Lucre, he is only excited, moved by +Christian excitement--out upon it!--but, like every other slavish +instrument, we must use it--had ascribed his excitement, we say, to +causes that had nothing whatsoever to do in occasioning it--the _bona +fide_ one being the indirect rebuke, to him, and the class to which +he belonged, that was contained in Clement's observations upon the +Established Church and her ecclesiastics. “Clement,” said he, “I must be +plain with you. For some time past I have really suspected the soundness +of your views--I had doubts of your orthodoxy; but out of consideration +for your large family, I did not press you for an explanation.” + +“Then, sir,” replied Clement, “allow me to say, that as an orthodox +clergyman, jealous of the purity of our creed, and anxious for the +spiritual welfare of your flock, it was your duty to have done so. As +for me, I shall be at all times both ready and willing to render +an account of the faith that is in me. I neither fear nor deprecate +investigation, sir, I assure you.” + +“I certainly knew not, however, that you were so far gone in +latitudinarianism, as I find, unfortunately, to be the case. I hold a +responsible--a sacred situation, as a Protestant minister, Mr. Clement, +and consequently cannot suffer such doctrine to spread through my flock. +Besides, had you taken an active part in promoting this Reformation, +as, with your learning and talents I know you could have done--I make no +allusion now to your unhappy principles--had you done so it was my fixed +intention to have increased your salary ten pounds per annum, out of my +own pocket, notwithstanding the great claims that are upon me.” + +“My legal salary, I believe, Mr. Lucre, is seventy-five pounds per +annum, and the value of your benefice is one thousand four hundred. I +may say the whole duty is performed by me. Out of that one thousand four +hundred, I receive sixty; but I shall add nothing more--for indeed I +have yet several visits to make before I go home. As to my orthodoxy, +sir, you will take your own course. To my bishop I am ready to explain +my opinions; they are in accordance with the Word of God; and if for +entertaining them I am deprived of the slender support for which I +labor, as your curate, my trust in God will not be the less.” + +Mr. Lucre declined any reply, but bowed very politely, and rang +the bell, to order his carriage, as a hint to Mr. Clement that the +conversation was closed. The latter bowed, bade him good morning, and +departed. + +When Mr. Clement said he had some visits to make, we must, lest the +reader might suppose they are visits of ceremony, follow his steps in +order to learn the nature of these visits. + +About half a mile from the Glebe house of Castle Cumber, the meek and +unassuming curate entered into an abode of misery and sorrow, which +would require a far more touching pen than ours to describe. A poor +widow sat upon the edge of a little truckle bed with the head of one of +her children on her lap; another lay in the same bed silent and feeble, +and looking evidently ill. Mr. Clement remembered to have seen the boy +whom she supported, not long before playing about the cottage, his rosy +cheeks heightened into a glow of health and beauty by the exercise, and +his fair, thick-clustered hair blown about by the breeze. The child was +dying, and the tender power of a mother's love prompted her to keep him +as near her breaking heart as she could, during the short space that +remained of his brief existence. When Mr. Clement entered, the lonely +mother looked upon him with an aspect of such bitter sorrow, of such +helpless supplication in her misery, as if she said, am I left to the +affliction of my own heart! Am I cut off from the piety and comfort, +which distress like mine ought to derive from Christian sympathy and +fellowship! Have I not even a human face to look upon, but those of my +dying children! Such in similar circumstances are the questions which +the heart will ask. She could not immediately speak, but with the head +of her dying boy upon her heart she sat in mute and unbroken agony, +every pang of her departing orphan throwing a deeper shade of affliction +over her countenance, and a keener barb of sorrow into her heart. + +The champion of God, however, was at his post. He advanced to the +bed-side, and in tones which proclaimed the fulness of his sympathy in +her sufferings, and with a countenance lit up by that trust in heaven +which long trials of his own and similar bereavements had given him, he +addressed her in words of comfort and consolation, and raised her heart +to better hopes than any which this world of care and trial can bestow. +It is difficult, however, to give comfort in such moments, nor is it +prudent to enforce it too strongly. The widow looked upon her boy's +face, which was sweetly marked with the graces of innocence, even in +the throes of death. The light of life was nearly withdrawn from his dim +blue eye; but he felt from time to time for the mother's, hands, and +the mother's bosom. He was striving, too, to utter his little complaint; +attempting probably to describe his sufferings, and to beg relief from +his unhappy parent; but the dissolving power of death was on all his +faculties; his words lapsed into each, other indistinctly, and were +consequently unintelligible. Mrs. Vincent, for such was the widow's +name, heard the words addressed to her by Mr. Clement; she raised her +eyes, to heaven for a moment, and then turned them, heavy with misery, +upon her dying boy. Her heart--her hopes:--almost her whole being +were peculiarly centered in the object before her; and though she had +imagined that sympathy might support her, she now felt that no human +power could give her consolation. The tears were falling fast from Mr. +Clement's cheeks, who felt, that until the agonies of the boy were +over, it would be vain to offer her any kind of support. At length she +exclaimed-- + +“Oh! Saviour, who suffered the agony of the cross, and who loved little +children like him, let your mercy descend upon my beloved! Suffer him to +come to you soon. Oh! Saviour--hear a mother's prayer, for I loved him +above all, and he was our life! Core of my heart, you are striving to +tell your mother what you suffer, but the weight of death is upon your +tongue, and you cannot do it! I am here, my beloved sufferer--I am +here--you struggle to find my hands to tell me--to tell me--but I cannot +help you.” + +“Mrs. Vincent,” said the curate, “we have reason to believe that what +appears to us to be the agony of death, is not felt so severely as we +imagine; strive to moderate your grief--and reflect that he will soon +be in peace, and joy, and happiness, that will never end. His little +sorrows and sufferings will soon be over, and the bosom of a merciful +God will receive him into life and glory.” + +“But, sir,” replied the widow, the tears fast streaming down her cheeks, +“do you not see what he suffers? Look at the moisture that is on his +little brow, and see how he writhes with the pain. He thinks that I can +stop it, and it is for that he presses my hand. During his whole illness +that was still his cry--'oh, mother, take away this pain, why don't you +take away the pain!'” + +Mr. Clement was a father, and an affectionate one, and this allusion +to the innocence of the little sufferer touched his heart, and he was +silent. + +The widow proceeded: “there he lies, my only--only son--his departed +father's image, and I looked up to him to be one day my support, my +pride, and my happiness--but see what he is now! Oh! James, James, +wouldn't I lay down my life to save yours!” + +“You look at the dark side of the picture, Mrs. Vincent,” said the +curate. “Think upon what he may escape by his early and his happy death. +You know not, but that there was crime, and sin, and affliction before +him. Consider how many parents there are now in the world, who would +feel happy that their children, who bring shame, and distress, and +misery upon them, had been taken to God in their childhood. And, surely, +there is still a God to provide for your self and your other little +ones; for remember, you have still those who have tender claims upon +your heart.” + +“I know you are right, sir,” she replied “but in cases like this, nature +must have its way. Death, death, but you're cruel! Oh--blessed Father, +what is this!” + +One last convulsive spasm, one low agonizing groan, accompanied by a +relaxation of the little fingers which had pressed her hands, closed the +sufferings of the widow's pride. She stooped wildly over him and pressed +him to her heart, as if by doing so she could draw his pains into her +own frame, as they Were already in her spirit; but his murmurings were +silent, and on looking closely into his countenance, she perceived that +his Redeemer had, indeed, suffered her little one to go unto him; that +all his little pains and agonies were over forever. + +“His sufferings are past,” she exclaimed, “James, your sufferings are +over!” As she uttered the words, the curate was astonished by hearing +her burst out into one or two wild hysteric laughs, which happily ended +in tears. + +“No more,” she continued, “you'll feel no more pain now, my precious +boy; your voice will never sound in my ears again; you'll never call +on me to say 'mother, take away my pain;' the Sunday mornin' will never +come when I will take pride in dressing you. My morning and evening kiss +will never more be given--all my heart was fixed on is gone, and I care +not now what becomes of me.” + +What could the good curate do? He strove to soothe, sustain, and comfort +her, but in vain; the poor widow heard him not. + +“Jenny,” said she, at length, turning to, the other sick child, “your +brother is at rest! James is at rest; he will disturb your sleep now no +more--nor will you disturb his.” + +“Oh! but he couldn't help it, mammy; it was the pain that made him.” + +As the child uttered these words, the widow put her hand to her heart, +gave two or three rapid sobs--her bosom heaved, and her head fell back +over a chair that was accidentally beside her. Mr. Clement caught her +in time to prevent her from falling; he placed her upright on the chair, +which he carried to, the little dresser, where he found a jug of water, +the only drink she had to give her sick children. With this he bathed +her temples and wet her lips, after which he looked upon the scene of +death and affliction by which he was surrounded. + +“Gracious Father,” he exclaimed, “let, your mercy reach this most +pitiable family! Look with eyes of pity and compassion upon this +afflicted and bereaved woman! Oh, support her--she is poor and nearly +heart-broken, and the world has abandoned her! Oh, do not abandon her, +Father of all mercy, and God of all consolation!” + +As he concluded, the widow recovered, and felt his tears falling upon +her face. On looking she perceived how deeply he was affected. Her lips +opened unconsciously with a blessing on him who shared in, and soothed +her sorrows--her voice was feeble, for she had not yet recovered her +strength; but the low murmur of her prayers and blessings rose like the +sounds of sweet but melancholy music to heaven, and was heard there. + +Mr. Clement then went over to the bed, and with his own hands smoothed +it down for the little sick sister of the departed boy, adjusting the +bed-clothes about her as well as he could, for the other children were +too., young to do anything. He then divided the hair upon the +lifeless child's forehead--contemplated his beautiful features for a +moment--caught his little hand in his--let it fall--oh! how lifelessly! +he then shook his head, raised his eyes, and pointing to heaven, +exclaimed-- + +“There--Mrs. Vincent, let your hopes lie there.” + +He then departed, with a promise of seeing her soon. + + + + +CHAPTER XII.--Interview between Darby and Mr. Lucre + +--Darby feels Scriptural, and was as Scripturally treated--Mr. Lucre's +Christian Disposition towards Father M'Cabe--A few Brands offer +Themselves to be Plucked from the Burning--Their Qualification, for +Conversion, as stated by Themselves. + + +Mr. Lucre, like almost every Protestant rector of the day, was a +magistrate, a circumstance which prevented Mr. Clement from feeling +any surprise at seeing a considerable number of persons, of both sexes, +approaching the glebe. He imagined, naturally enough, that they were +going upon law business, as it is termed--for he knew that Mr. Lucre, +during his angel visits to Castle Cumber, took much more delight in +administering the law than the gospel, unless, when ready made, in the +shape of Bibles. When Darby, also, arrived, he found a considerable +number of these persons standing among a little clump of trees in the +lawn, apparently waiting for some person to break the ice, and go in +first--a feat which each felt anxious to decline himself, whilst he +pressed it very strongly upon his neighbor. No sooner had Darby made +his appearance than a communication took place between him and them, +in which it was settled that he was to have the first interview, and +afterwards direct the conduct and motions of the rest. There was, +indeed, a dry, knowing look about him, which seemed to imply, in fact, +that they were not there without some suggestion from himself. + +Darby was very well known to Mr. Lucre, for whom he had frequently acted +in the capacity of a bailiff; he accordingly entered with something like +an appearance of business, but so admirably balanced was his conduct on +this occasion, between his usual sneaking and servile manner, and +his privileges as a Christian, that it would be difficult to witness +anything so inimitably well managed as his deportment. One circumstance +was certainly strongly in his favor; Father M'Cabe had taken care to +imprint with his whip a _prima facie_ testimony of sincerity upon +his countenance, which was black, and swollen into large welts by the +exposition of doctrinal truth which he had received at that gentleman's +hands. Lucre, on seeing him, very naturally imagined he was coming +to lodge informations for some outrage committed on him either in the +discharge of his duty as bailiff, or, for having become a convert, a +fact with which he had become acquainted from the True Blue. + +“Well, O'Drive,” said he, “what is the matter now? you are sadly +abused--how came this to pass?” + +Darby first looked upwards, very like a man who was conscientiously +soliciting some especial grace or gift from above; his lips moved as if +in prayer, but he was otherwise motionless--at length he ceased--drew +a lone breath, and assumed the serenity of one whose prayer had +been granted. The only word he uttered that could possibly be at all +understood, was amen; which he pronounced lowly, but still distinctly, +and in as unpopish a manner as he could. + +“I beg your pardon, sir,” he replied, “but now my heart's aisier--I hope +I have overcome that feeling that was an me--I can now forgive him for +the sake of the spread o' the gospel, and I do.” + +“What has happened your face?--you are sadly abused!” + +“A small taste o' parsecution, sir, which the Lord put into Father +M'Cabe's horsewhip--heart I mane--to give me, bekaise I renounced his +hathenism, and came into the light o' thruth--may He be praised for it!” + Here followed an upturning of the eyes after the manner of M'Slime. + +“Do you mean to tell me, O'Drive, that this outrage has been committed +on you by that savage priest, M'Cabe?” + +“It was he left me as you see, sir--but it's good to suffer in this +world, especially for the thruth. Indeed I am proud of this face,” he +continued, blinking with a visage so comically disastrous at Mr. Lucre, +that had that gentleman had the slightest possible perception of the +ludicrous in his composition, not all the gifts and graces that ever +were poured down upon the whole staff of the Reformation Society +together, would have prevented him from laughing outright. “Of course +you are come,” pursued Lucre, “to swear information against this man?” + +“I have prayed for it,” said Darby in a soliloquy, “and I feel that it +has been granted. Swear information, sir?--I'll strive and do betther +than that, I hope; I must now take my stand by the Bible, sir; that will +be the color I'll hoist while I live. In that blessed book I read these +words this mornin', 'love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do +good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you +and parsecute you.' Sir, when I read these words, I felt them slidin' +into my heart, and I couldn't help repeatin' them to myself, ever +since--and, even when Father M'Cabe was playin' his whip about my ears, +I was as hard at work prayin' for his sowl.” + +This, we have no doubt, was perfectly true, only we fear that our +blessed convert forgot to state the precise nature and object of the +prayer in question, and to mention whether it was to the upper or lower +settlement he consigned the soul alluded to. This Christian spirit of +Darby's, however, was by no means in keeping with that of Mr. Lucre, who +never was of opinion, in his most charitable of moods, that the gospel +should altogether supersede the law. On this occasion, especially, he +felt an acuteness of anxiety to got the priest within his power, which +the spirit of no gospel that ever was written could repress. M'Cabe and +he had never met, or, at least, never spoke; but the priest had, since +the commencement of the new movement, sent him a number of the most +ludicrous messages, and transmitted to him, for selection, a large +assortment of the most comical and degrading epithets. Here, then, +was an opportunity of gratifying his resentment in a Christian and +constitutional spirit, and with no obstacle in his way but Darby's +inveterate piety. This, however, for the sake of truth, he hoped to +remove, or so modify, that it would not prevent him from punishing that +very disloyal and idolatrous delinquent. + +“Those feelings, O'Drive, are all very good and creditable to you, and +I am delighted indeed that you entertain them--but, in the meantime, you +owe a duty to society greater than that which you owe to yourself. +This man, this priest--a huge, ferocious person I understand he is--has +latterly been going about the parish foaming and raging, and seeking +whom he can horsewhip.” + +“That's thruth, sir, poor dark hathen--an', sir--jist beggin' your +pardon for one minute, half a minute, sir--you know we're desired when +an inimy strikes us upon one cheek to turn the other to him; well, as I +said, sir, I found myself very Scriptural this whole day, so when he hit +me the first welt on this cheek, I turns round the other, an' now look +at the state it's in, sir--but that's not all, sir, he tuck the hint at +once, and gave it to me on both sides, till he left me as you see me. +Still, sir, I can forgive him, and I have done it.” + +“That, as I said, reflects great credit on your principles--but, in the +meantime, you can still retain these principles and prosecute him. +Your lodging informations against him does not interfere with your own +personal forgiveness of him at all--because it is in behalf of, and for +the safety of society that you come forward to prosecute now.” + +Darby, who in point of fact had his course already taken, shook his head +and replied, falling back upon the form of M'Slime's language as much as +he could-- + +“I feel, sir,” he replied, “that I'm not permitted.” + +“Permitted!” repeated the other. “What do you menu?” + +“I'm not permitted from above, sir, to prosecute this man. I'm not +justified in it.” + +“Quite ridiculous, O'Drive, where did you pick up this jargon of the +conventicle--but that reminds me, by the by--you are not a convert +to the Established Church. You belong to the Dissenters, and owe your +change of opinions to Mr. M'Slime.” + +“If I don't belong to the Established Church now, sir,” replied Darby, +“I won't be long so.” + +“Why,” inquired the other, “are you not satisfied with the denomination +of Christians you have joined?” + +“M'Slime, sir, converted me--as you say--but I've great objections--and +between you and me, I, fear it's not altogether safe for any man to take +his religion from an attorney.” + +A smile, as much as he could condescend to, passed over the haughty, but +dignified features of Mr. Lucre. + +“O'Drive,” said he, “I did not think you possessed so much simplicity +of character as I perceive you do--but touching the prosecution of this +man--you must lodge information, forthwith. You shall bring the warrant +to Mr. M'Clutchy who will back it, and put it into the hands of those +who will lose little time in having it executed.” + +“I am sorry, sir, that my conscience doesn't justify me in doin' what +you wish.” + +“What do you mean by conscience, sir?” asked the other, getting warm, +“if you have a conscience you will have no scruple in punishing a man +who is an open enemy to truth, to the gospel, and to the spread of it +through a benighted land. How can you reconcile it to your conscience to +let such a man escape.” + +“Simply by forgiving him, sir--by lettin' the great, big, ignorant +hathen, have the full benefit of a gospel forgiveness. That's what I +mean, sir, and surely it stands to sense that I couldn't prosecute him +wid these feelin's, barrin' I'd go against the Word.” + +“O'Drive,” said Lucre, evidently mortified at Darby's obstinacy, “one of +two things is true; either you are utterly ignorant, perhaps, with every +disposition to know them, of the sanctions and obligations of religion, +or you are still a Papist at heart, and an impostor. I tell you, sir, +once more, that it is upon religious grounds that you ought to prosecute +this wild priest; because in doing so, you render a most important +service to religion and morality, both of which are outraged in his +person. You ought to know this. Again, sir, if you are a Protestant, and +have thoroughly cast Popery from your heart, you must necessarily be a +loyal man and a good subject; but if you refuse to prosecute him, you +can be neither the one nor the other, but a Papist and an impostor, +and I've done with you. If Mr. M'Clutchy knew, sir, that you refused +to prosecute a priest for such a violent outrage upon your person, I +imagine you would not long hold the situation of bailiff under him.” + +Darby looked into the floor like a philosopher solving a problem. +“I see, sir,” said he, “I see--well--you have made that clear enough +sartinly; but you know, sir, how could you expect such deep raisoning +upon these subjects from a man like me. I see the duty of it now +clearly; but, when, sir, on the other hand if I prosecute him, what's to +become of me? Will you, sir, bear my funeral expenses?” + +“Every penny, O'Drive,” replied the other, eagerly. “Tut,” he exclaimed, +checking himself, “I--I--I thought you meant the expenses of the +prosecution.” + +“It's much the same, sir,” replied Darby, “the one will be sure to +follow the other. You know the state the country's in now, sir, and +how the people on both sides are ready to skiver one another about this +religion, and rents and tithes, and dear knows what besides. As it +is, sir,” he proceeded, “you see that I dursn't walk the road without +these,” and he produced the pistols as he spoke, “but what chance, sir, +would I have if I prosecuted a priest? Why, my life wouldn't be worth +two hours' purchase.” + +Mr. Lucre himself could not help feeling and admitting the truth of +this, but as he could devise no plan to obviate the dangers alluded to, +he still scrupled not to urge the prosecution. + +“Sir,” said Darby starting, as if a gleam of light had shot across his +brain, “a thought has just struck me, and I hope it was something from +above that sent it. If there was any kind of situation, sir, that +I could fill, and that would keep me in a place of safety where the +hathens couldn't get at me, everything would be right; and be the same +token, sir, now that I think of it, isn't the under gaoler-ship of +Castle Cumber vacant this minute.” + +Lucre who, in fact, had set his heart on prosecuting and punishing the +priest, would have gladly made Darby governor of the best gaol in his +majesty's dominions, rather than lose this opportunity of effecting his +purpose. + +“Rest contented, O'Drive,” he replied, “you shall have it--I pledge +myself that you shall have it. My influence is sufficient for much more +than so paltry a trifle as that. And now for the informations.” + +“Ah, sir,” replied the other, “that wouldn't mend the matter a bit. Let +it go once abroad that I swore them, and I'd never see to-morrow night. +No, sir, if you wish him properly prosecuted,--and I think I ought to +know how to do it, too;--but if you wish him properly punished, place +me first out of harm's way--out o' the reach o' the hathens; put me into +the situation before we take a single step in the business, then I'll be +safe and can work in it to some purpose.” + +“It shall be done,” said Lucre, “and I will go about it presently, but +in the mean time the matter rests as it is. If what you say is true, and +I believe it is, your own safety depends upon your silence.” + +“Not a breath,” replied Darby; “and now, sir, about what brought me +here--I wanted to say that I'd wish '_to read_' upon Sunday next.” + +“What do you mean?” asked Lucre. + +“Why, sir, as I said, I don't like to take my religion from an +attorney--and I'm afeard, besides, that he's not altogether orthybox, +in regard that he hinted once that God was ------; but, indeed I +disremember his words, for it wasn't aisy to hould them when you got +them.” + +“He, of course, is a Fatalist and Predestinarian,” said Lucre; “but +what is this you were about to say?” + +“Why, sir, that I'd wish publicly to read my recompensation in your +church on Sunday next.” + +“And why in my church?” asked the proud parson, who felt his vanity +touched, not by anything Darby had yet said, but by the indescribable +expression of flattery which appeared in his face. + +“Why, sir,” he replied, “bekase it's given out on all hands that there's +no end to your larnin'--that it's wondherful the books you wrote--and +as for your preachin', that it 'ud make one think themselves in heaven, +hell, or purgatory, accordin as you wished.” + +“Very well, O'Drive, very well indeed,” exclaimed Lucre, caught on +his weakest side by this artful compliment; “but you must forget +purgatory--however I can conceive that it was the mere force of +habit that prompted you to utter it. Well, then, you shall read your +recantation on Sunday, since you wish it--there will be about a dozen or +two others, and you had better attend early. Good-day, O'Drive!” + +“Plaise your honor,” said Darby, who never could be honest to both +parties, “there's a batch o' convarts outside waitin' to see you, but +between you and me, I think you had as well be on your guard wid some o' +them, I know what they want.” + +“And pray, what is that, O'Drive?” + +“Why, thin, for fraid I may be doin' the crathurs injustice, sir, I +won't say; only jist take my hint, any how. Good mornin' kindly, sir!” + +As Darby passed the group we have alluded to, he winked at them very +knowingly, “go up,” said he, “go up I say:--may be I didn't give yez +a lift since, and mark me, huld to the five guineas a head, and to be +provided for aftherwards. Paddy Cummins do you go up, I say--bannath +lath!” + +Paddy went up, and in a few minutes a ragged, famine-wasted creature +entered with his old caubeen between his hands, and after having ducked +down his head, and shrugged his shoulders alternately, stood with an +abashed look before Mr. Lucre. + +“Well, my good man, what is your business with me?” + +To this the countryman prepared to reply,--first, by two or three +additional shrugs; secondly, by raising his right elbow, and pulling +up all that remained of the collar of his tattered cothamore, or great +coat, after which he gave a hem. + +“Have you no tongue, my good fellow?” + +A shrug--“hem--why, sir, but that was a great sarmon you praiched +on last Sunda', plaise you honor. Faitha, sir, there was mighty fine +discoorsin' in it about rail-ligion?” + +“O! the sermon--did you hear it, my good man?” + +“Faitha, sir, I was there sure enough, in spite o' Father M'Cabe, an' +all.” + +“Sit down, my good friend, sit down--well, you attended the sermon, you +say--pray how did you like it?” + +“Faitha, sir, sure nobody could dislike it bedad, sir, we're all greatly +disappointed wid the priests afther hearin' it--it was wondherful to +hear, the deep larnin' you brought forrid, sir, against them, an' our +church in gineral. Begad myself was mightily improved by it.” + +“Don't swear, though--well you were improved by it, you say--pray what +is your name?” + +“I'm one Paddy Cummins, sir, a shister's son of--” + +“Well, Cummins, I'm very happy to hear that you were edified, and +happier still that you had sense to perceive the side upon which truth +lay.” + +“Faitha, thin, your reverence, I seen that widout much throuble; but, +sure they say, sir, there's to be a power of us turnin' over to yez.” + +“I hope so, Cummins--we are anxious that you should see the errors of +the creed you so ignorantly profess, and abandon them.” + +“Sure enough, sir--dad, sir, your ministhers is fine men, so you +are--then you're so rich, sir, plaise your honor--they do be sayin', +sir, that the reverend gintlemen of your church have got a great deal of +money among them somehow, in regard that it 'ud be needful to help poor +crathurs that 'ud turn, and keep them from the parsecution, sir.” + +“Cummins, my good friend, allow me to set you right. We never give +a penny of money to any one for the sake of bringing him over to our +church; if converts come to us it must be from conviction, not from +interest.” + +“I see, sir--but sure I'm not wantin' the promise at all, your +honor--sure I know you must keep yourselves clear anyway--only the five +guineas a head that I'm tould is to be given.” + +“Five guineas a head!--pray who told you so?” + +“Faitha, sir, I couldn't exactly say, but every one says it. It's said +we're to get five guineas a head, sir, and be provided for afther; I +have nine o' them, sir, eight crathurs and Biddy herself--she can't +spake English, but, wid the help o' God, I could consthre it for her. +Faith, she'd make a choice Prodestan, sir, for wanst she takes a thing +into her head the devil wouldn't get it out. As for me, I don't want a +promise at all, your reverence, barrin' that if it 'ud be plaisin' to +you, jist to lay your forefinger along your nose--merely to show that +we undherstand one another--it 'ud be as good to me as the bank. The +crathur on the breast, your reverence, we'd throw in as a luck penny, or +dhuragh, and little Paddy we give at half price.” + +“Did you hear all this?” + +“Faitha, then, we did, sir--and sure, as you don't like to have the +thing known, I can keep my tongue atween my teeth as well as e'er a +convart livin'--an' as for Biddy, by only keepin' her from the dhrink, +she's as close as the gate of heaven to a heretic. Bedad, sir, this new +light bates everything.” + +“My good friend, Cummins, I tell you I have no money to give,--neither +is there anything to be given,--for the sake of conversion--but, if +your notions of your own religion are unsettled, put yourself under Lord +------'s chaplain; and, if, in the due course of time, he thinks you +sufficiently improved to embrace our faith, you and your family may be +aided by some comforts suitable to your condition.” + +Cummins' face lengthened visibly at 'an intimation which threw him so +far from his expectations; the truth being, that he calculated upon +receiving the money the moment he read his recantation. He looked at +Mr. Lucre again as significantly as he could--gave his head a scratch of +remonstrance--shrugged himself as before--rubbed his elbow--turned round +his hat slowly, examined its shape, and gave it a smarter set, after +which he gave a dry hem and prepared to speak. + +“I'll hear nothing further on the subject,” said the other, “withdraw.” + +Without more ado Cummins slunk out of the room, highly disappointed, but +still not without hopes from Lord ------, to whom, or his chaplain, he +resolved to apply. In the meantime he made the best of his way home to +his starving wife and children, without having communicated the result +of his visit to those who were assembled at the glebe house. + +He had scarcely left the hall door when another claimant for admission +presented himself in the person of a huge, tattered fellow, with red, +stiff hair standing up like reeds through the broken crown of his hat, +which he took off on entering. This candidate for Protestantism had +neither shoe nor stocking on him, but stalked in, leaving the prints of +his colossal feet upon the hall through which he passed. + +“Well, friend, what is wrong with you?--why did'nt you rub your filthy +feet, sir, before you entered the room? You have soiled all my carpet.” + +“I beg your honor's parding,” said the huge fellow; “I'll soon cure +that.” Having said which he trotted up to the hearth-rug, in which, +before Lucre had time even to speak, by a wipe from each foot, he left +two immense streaks of mud, which we guess took some hard scrubbing to +remove. “Now, your honor, I hope I'll do.” + +Lucre saw it was useless to remonstrate with him, and said, with more +temper than could be expected-- + +“Man, what's your business?” + +“I come, sirra,”--this man had a habit of pronouncing sir as sirra, +which he could never overcome--“to tell your reverence to enther me down +at wanst.” + +“For what purpose should I enter you down?” + +“For the money, sirra; I have seven o' them, and we'll all go. You +may christen us if you wish, sirra. 'Deed I'm tould we must all be +christened over agin, an' in that case, maybe it 'ud be plaisin' to you +to stand godfather for me, yourself, your reverence.” + +“What do you mean?--but I suppose I understand you.” + +“I mean, sirra, to become a Protestan--I an' my family, I'm Nickey +Feasthalagh, that was in on suspicion o' the burnin' of Nugent's hay; +and by them five crasses I was as innocent of that as the child onborn, +so I was. Sure they couldn't prove an me, becoorse I came out wid flying +colors, glory be to God! Here I am now, sir, an' a right good Prodestan +I'll make when I come to understand it. An' let me whisper this, sirra, +I'll be dam useful in fairs and markets to help the Orangemen to lick +ourselves, your honor, in a skrimmage or party fight, or anything o' +that kidney.” + +“I am sorry, Nick Fistula, as you say your name is--” + +“Mickey, sirra.” + +“Well, Nickey, or Nick, or whatever it may be, I am sorry to say that +you won't do. You are too great an ornament to your own creed ever to +shine in ours. I happen to know your character--begone.” + +“Is Misthre Lucre widin?” asked a third candidate, whose wife +accompanied him--“if he is, maybe you'd tell him that one Barney Grattan +wishes to have a thrifle o' speech wid his honor.” + +“Come in,” said the servant with a smile, after having acquainted his +master. + +The man and his wife accordingly entered, having first wiped their feet +as they had been ordered. + +“Well, my good man, what's your business.” + +“Rosha, will you let his honor know what we wor spakin' about? She'll +tell you, sir.” + +“Plaise your honor,” said she, “we're convarts.” + +“Well,” said Mr. Lucre, “that is at least coming to the point. And pray, +my good woman, who converted you?” + +“Faix, the accounts that's abroad, sir, about the gintleman from Dublin, +that's so full of larnin', your reverance, and so rich, they say.” + +“Then it was the mere accounts that wrought this change in you?” + +“_Dhamnu orth a Rosha, go dhe shin dher thu?_” said the husband in +Irish; for he felt that the wife was more explicit than was necessary. +“Never heed her, sir; the crathur, your reverence, is so through other, +that she doesn't know what she's sayin', especially spakin' to so +honorable a gentleman as your reverence.” + +“Then let us hear your version, or rather your conversion.” + +“Myself, sir, does be thinkin' a great deal about these docthrines and +jinnyologies that people is now all runnin' upon. I can tell a story, +sir, at a wake, or an my kailee wid a, neighbor, as well as e'er a man +in the five parishes. The people say I'm very long headed all out, and +can see far into a thing. They do, indeed, plaise your reverence.” + +“Very good.” + +“Did you ever hear about one Fin M'Cool who was a great buffer in his +day, and how his wife put the trick upon a big bosthoon of a giant that +came down from Munster to bother Fin? Did you ever hear that, sir?” + +“No; neither do I wish to hear it just now.” + +“Nor the song of Beal Derg O'Donnel, sir, nor the 'Fairy River,' +nor 'the Life and Adventures of Larry Dorneen's Ass,' plaise your +reverence.” + +“No--but I wish you would allow your wife to relate your business here.” + +“Well, sir, the people say I'm very longheaded, and can see far into a +thing--” + +“But, my good man, I care not what the people say--tell your story +briefly.” + +“--An' can see far into a thing, your reverence, becaise I'm +long-headed. All longheaded people, sir, is cute, an' do you know why +they're cute, sir? No, you don't, but I'll tell you--bekaise they're +long-headed. Now, sir, what 'ud you think to turn Roman Catholic awhile +till I'd malivogue you in arguin' Scripture?--I want to prove to you, +sir, that I'm the boy that understands things.” + +“What's your business with me?” + +“Will you thry it, sir, and you'll see how I'll sober you to your +heart's delight.” + +“What brought your husband to me, my good woman?” + +“_Bhe dha husth; fag a rogarah lumsa_.” + +“He's comin' to it, plaise your reverence,” said the wife. + +“Well, sir, so you see, bein' given to deep ways of thinkin' o' my own, +I had many bouts at arguin' Scripthur--as every longheaded man has, of +coorse--an' yestherday meetin' wid Brian Broghan, the mealman--him that +keeps it up on the poor, sir--he challenged me, but, in three skips of +a Scotch Gray, I sacked him cleaner than one of his own meal bags, and +dusted him afterwards:--'so,' says he, misther Grattan, see what it is +to be long-headed.” + +“It's worse,” observed Lucre, “to be long-winded. Come to an end, sir.” + +“'Long-headed,' says he, 'an', of coorse you'll be takin' the money,' +says Brougham; 'what money?' says I. 'Why, the five guineas,' says he, +'that the Biblemen is givin' to every one that will turn wid them, he +happens to be long-headed--but otherwise, not a penny.' So, sir, myself, +you see, havin' the intention to come over long afore for fraid yez +might think it was for the money I am doin' it. But is there such a +thing, sir?” + +“Not a penny, and so you may tell your friends.” + +“Well, but, sir, grantin' that, still you'll acknowledge that I'm +long-headed.” + +“No, only long-winded.” + +“Not long-headed, then?” + +“No, certainly not.” + +“_Damnu orth a veehone bradagh!_ come Rosha. Not long-headed! troth it's +a poor religion to depind on--an' I'll make a show of it yet, if I'm +spared. Come, woman alive.” + +Honest Barney was the last but one who was honored by a hearing, though +not the last by a score of those who expected it, and, sooth to say, the +appearance of that one threw the whole proceedings into such exquisite +ridicule, that we cannot resist the temptation of giving his claims and +arguments a place among the rest. The convert in question was no other +than our old friend _Raymond-na-hattha_, or Raymond of the hats; who, +moved by the example of others, and only possessed of a dim notion of +the cause that brought them together, came among them from that vague +motive of action which prompts almost every creature like him to make +one in a crowd, wherever it may assemble. The mind of poor Raymond +was of a very anomalous character indeed; for his memory, which was +wonderful, accumulated in one heterogeneous mass, all the incidents +in which he had ever taken any part, and these were called out of the +confusion, precisely as some chord of association happened to be struck +in any conversation which he held. For this reason he sometimes uttered +sentiments that would have come with more propriety from the lips of a +philosopher than a fool, and again fell to the level of pure idiotism, +so singular were his alternations from sense to nonsense. Lucre's +porter, himself a wag, knew perfectly well what was going forward, and, +indeed, took very considerable delight in the movement. When Raymond +presented himself, the porter, to whom he was very well known, +determined, for the joke's sake, that he should have the honor of an +interview as well as the rest. Lucre, as we said, being but seldom at +Castle Cumber, was ignorant of Raymond's person and character, and, +indeed, we may add, that he stood in a position precisely similar with +respect to almost every one of his own flock. When Raymond entered, +then, he was addressed in much the same terms as the others. + +“Well, friend, what is your business?-- + +“John, admit no more, and let the carriage come round--are you a convert +also?” + +“Yes, I am; what have you to give me?” + +“A pure and peaceful religion, my friend.” + +“Where is it?” + +“In this book--this is the Word of God, that preacheth peace and +salvation to all.” + +“Has Val M'Clutchy this book?” + +“Of course he has--it is not to be supposed that so able and staunch a +friend of Protestantism, of the religion of the state, could be without +this book, or ignorant of it.” + +Raymond put it tip to his nose, and after seeming to smell it, said, +with a strong shudder, “how did you do this among you? How did you do +it?--look at it--see, see, it's dripping wid blood--here's murder +on this page, there's starvation on that--there's the blood-hounds +huntin'--look, sir, look at the poor creature almost worn down, makin' +his way to hide, but he can't; they have him, they have him--see how +they drag him, as if he was, a--ay, drag, drag, he's yours now, he's +yours--whip and scourge, whip and scourge--more blood, more blood--and +this is it, this--don't you see it, sir, comin' down in drops when I +hould it up that way!” + +“My good friend, you are certainly in liquor--your language is that of a +man strongly affected by drink.” + +“And this is it,” Raymond proceeded; “look at this page, that's not the +one the blood is on; no, no, there's nothing here but madness. Ah!” said +he, lowering his voice to a tone of deep compassion, “sure she's mad; +they killed Hugh O'Began, and they killed the two sons, and then she +went mad.--So, you see, there it is now--on that page there's blood, +and, on this one,--with the big letter on it, there's madness. Then agin +comes the Turnin' out. How would you like to walk three long, dreary +miles, in sleet, and frost, and snow, havin' no house to go to--wid +thin breeches to your bottom, an' maybe a hole in them--widout shoe or +stockin' on your hooves--wid a couple of shiverin', half starved, sick +childre, tied by an ould praskeen to your back, an' you sinkin' wid +hunger all the time?--ay, and the tail o' your old coat blown up behind +every minute, like a sparrow before the wind!--Eh, how would you like +it?” + +Lucre still stuck to the hypothesis of liquor, and accordingly went and +rang the porter's bell, who immediately appeared. + +“John,” said his master, “I desire you will immediately show this man +out--he is so scandalously affected with liquor, that he knows not the +purport of his own language.” + +John approached his master with a face of awful tenor:--“for God's sake, +sir,” said he, “don't say a word that might cross him, sure he's the +great madman, _Raymond-na-hattha_. Just sit still, and let him take +his own way, and he'll do no harm in life; appear to listen to him, and +he'll be like a child--but, if you go to harshness, he'd tear you, and +me, and all that's in the house, into minced meat.” + +Once more did Lucre's countenance lose its accustomed hue; but, on this +occasion, it assumed the color of a duck egg, or something between a bad +white and a bad blue; “my good friend,” said he, “will you please to take +a seat--John, stay in the room.” This he said in a whisper. + +“There,” proceeded Raymond, who had been busily engaged in examining the +pages of the Bible, “there is the page where that's on--the puttin' out +in the clouds and storm of heaven--there it is on that page. Look at the +ould man and the ould woman there--see them tremblin'. Don't cry--don't +cry; but they are--see the widow there wid her orphans--there's a +sick boy in that house, and a poor sick girl in that other house--see, +they're all cryin'--all cryin'--for they must go out, and on sich a day! +All that, now, is upon these two other pages, bekaise, you see, no one +page would hould all that. But see here--here's a page wid only one +side of it covered--let vis see what's on it. Oh, ay--here's the poor +craythur's childre, wid the poor father and the poor mother; but they +have the one cow to give milk to moisten their bit. Ha--ha--look again, +there she goes off to the pound! Don't cry, poor helpless crathers; but +how can you help cryin' when your poor mother's cryin'. That's a bitther +thing, too, and it's on this page--see--that--that--that's it I've +between my fingers--look at it--'how wet it is wid the poor craythur's +tears; but there's no blood here--no, no--nothing but tears. Oh, +here--see here--a page as big as the rest, bat wid nothing on it. Ay, +I know that--that's an empty farm that nobody dare take, or woe be to +them. But here--I seen him “--here he shuddered strongly--“I seen him! +His father and mother were both standing undher him--that was the worst +of all. It's in this page. He was only one-and-twenty, and the eyes he +had; but how did it happen, that although they hanged him, every one +loved him? I seen his father and the poor mother looking up to the +gallows where he stood, and then she fainted, and she then got sick, +and poor ould Brian has nobody now but himself; and all that's on this +page.” Here poor Raymond shed tears, so completely was he overpowered +by the force of his own imaginings. He again proceeded--“And the poor +white-headed son. What wouldn't the poor mother give to have his white +head to look at? but he will never waken--he will never waken more. +What's the name o' this book?” he inquired of Mr. Lucre. + +“My excellent and most intelligent friend,” replied that gentleman, in +atone of meekness and humility that would have shamed an apostle; “my +most interesting friend, the name of that book in the Bible.” + +“The Bible! oh yes; but am I doin' it right?” he inquired; “am I puttin' +the explanation to it as I ought? Sure they all oxplain it, and it's +only fair that Raymond should show his larnin' as well as any of them. +Let us see, then--murdher and bloodshed, hangin' and starvin', huntin', +purshuin, whippin', cowld and nakedness, hunger and sickness, death and +then madness, and then death agin, and then damnation! Did I explain +it?” + +“Perfectly, my friend--nothing can do better.” + +“Well, then, think of it; but these aren't my explanations--but I know +who puts them to that bad book! Don't they take all I said out of it? +They do; and, sure, don't you see the poor people's blood, and tears, +and everything upon it; sure all I said is in it. Here,” he exclaimed, +shuddering, “take it away, or may be it'll make me as wicked as the rest +of you. But, after all, maybe it's not the fault of the book, but of the +people.” It would indeed be difficult to find a more frightful comment +upon the crimes and atrocities which have been perpetrated in this +divided country, in the name, and under the character of religion, than +that which issued, with a kind of methodical incoherency, from the lips +of _Raymond-na-hattha_. When he had concluded, Mr. Lucre, having first +wiped the big drops of perspiration from his forehead, politely asked +him if there was anything he could do for him. + +“Oh, ay,” said he; “but first bring me a lump of good mate, and a quart +of portlier.” + +“You shall have it, my excellent friend. John, ring the bell. You are a +very interesting person, Mr.--Mr.-- + +“_Raymond-na-hattha_, sir.” + +“Mr. Raiment--very interesting, indeed. (Good God! am I to run the risk +of being-strangled in my own house by a madman!) Oh--here, Alick; +bring up some cold meat and a bottle of porter. Anything to make you +comfortable, my good sir.” + +“I only want to see if all's right, sir,” said Raymond, “and I'll tell +you by and by.” This was followed by a look of most pitiable distress +from Lucre to his servant, John. + +Raymond no sooner saw the cold beef and bread laid down, together with a +bottle of porter, than he commenced an exhibition, which first, awoke +Mr. Lucre's astonishment, next his admiration, and lastly his envy. +Raymond's performance, however, was of that rare description which loses +by too frequent practice, and is only seen to advantage when the +opportunities for exhibition are few. Three mortal pounds having at +length disappeared, together with the greater part of a quartern loaf, +and two bottles of porter, for Raymond had made bold to call for a +second, he now wiped his mouth with the cuff of his coat first, and +afterwards, by way of a more delicate touch, with the gathered palm of +his hand; then, looking at Mr. Lucre, who sat perspiring with terror in +his gorgeous easy chair, our readers may judge of the ease it just then +communicated to that reverend gentleman, when he said, “It's all right +enough, sir.” + +“I'm delighted to hear it,” replied Mr. Lucre, applying the _sudariolum_ +once more with a very nervous and quivering hand to his forehead: + +“Is there anything else in which I can serve you, my good sir?” + +[Illustration: PAGE 231-- Borrow the loan of your religion] + +“Yes, there is--all's right, I've now made the thrial, and it will do--I +want to borrow the loan of your religion till the new praties comes in.” + +“You shall have it, my worthy sir--you shall have it, with very great +pleasure.” + +“The raison why I came to you for it,” said Raymond, who, evidently in +this joke, had been put up by some one, “was bekaise I was tould that +it's as good as new with you--'seldom used lasts long,' you know--but, +such as it is, I'll borry it for--ah, there now, that's one; all right, +all right,” pointing to the fragments of the meat and bread--“I wouldn't +ax betther; so, till the praties comes in, mind I'll take care of it; +and, if I don't bring it back safe, I'll bring you a betther one in it's +place.” He then nodded familiarly to Mr. Lucre, and left the house. The +latter felt as if he breathed new life once more, but he could not so +readily pardon the man for admitting him. + +“What is the reason, sir,” he asked, his face reddening, “that you +suffered that formidable madman to get into the house?” + +“Why, sir,” replied the porter, “when I opened the door, he shot in like +a bolt; and, as for preventing him after that, if I had attempted it, +he'd have had me in fragments long ago. When he's not opposed, sir, or +crossed, he's quiet as a lamb, and wouldn't hurt a child; but, if he's +vexed, and won't get his own way, why ten men wouldn't stand him.” + +“Take care that he shall never be admitted here again,” said his master; +“I really am quite disturbed and nervous by his conduct and language, +which are perfectly unintelligible. Indeed I am absolutely unwell--the +shock was awful, and to occur on such a day, too--I fear my appetite +will be very much affected by it--a circumstance which would be +distressing beyond belief. Stop--perhaps it is not yet too late--ask +Francis is the venison down, and, if not, desire him not to dress it +to-day--I am out of appetite, say.” + +John went, and in a couple of minutes returned, “Francis says it's +down, sir, for some time,” replied the man, “and that it must be dressed +to-day, otherwise it will be spoiled.” + +“And this is owing to you, you scoundrel,” said his master in a +rage, “owing to your neglect and carlessness--but there is no placing +dependence upon one of you. See, you rascal, the position in which I +am--here is a delicious haunch of venison for dinner, and now I am so +much agitated and out of order that my appetite will be quite gone, and +it will be eaten by others before my face, while I cannot touch it. For +a very trifle I would this moment discharge you from my service, and +without a character too.” + +“I am very sorry, sir, but the truth--” + +“Begone, you scoundrel, and leave the room, or I shall use the +horse-whip to you.” + +John disappeared, and this great and zealous prop of Protestantism +walked to and fro his study, almost gnashing his teeth from the +apprehension of not having an appetite for the haunch of venison. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII.--Darby's Brief Retirement from Public Life. + +--A Controversial Discussion, together with the Virtues it Produced + + +Our readers may recollect that Darby in his pleasant dialogue with +Father M'Cabe, alluded to a man named Bob Beatty, as a person afflicted +with epilepsy. It was then reported that the priest had miraculously +cured him of that complaint; but, whether he had or not, one thing, at +least, was certain, that he became a Roman Catholic, and went regularly +to mass. He had been, in fact, exceedingly notorious for his violence as +an Orangeman, and was what the people then termed a blood-hound, and the +son of a man who had earned an unenviable reputation as a Tory hunter; +which means a person who devoted the whole energies of his life, and +brought all the rancour of a religious hatred to the task of pursuing +and capturing such unfortunate Catholics as came within grasp of penal +laws. Beatty, like all converts, the moment he embraced the Roman +Catholic creed, became a most outrageous opponent to the principles of +Protestantism. Every Orangeman and Protestant must be damned, and it +stood to reason they should, for didn't they oppose the Pope? Bob, then, +was an especial protege of Father M'Cabe's, who, on his part, had very +little to complain of his convert, unless it might be the difficulty +of overcoming a habit of strong swearing which had brought itself so +closely into his conversation, that he must either remain altogether +silent, or let fly the oaths. Another slight weakness, which was rather +annoying to the priest too, consisted in a habit Bob had, when any way +affected with liquor, of drinking in the very fervor of his new-born +zeal, that celebrated old toast, “to hell with the Pope!” These, +however, were but mere specks, and would be removed in time, by inducing +better habits. Now, it so happened, that on the day in question, Bob was +wending his way to Father M'Cabe's, to communicate some matter connected +with his religious feelings, and to ask his advice and opinion. + +“How confoundedly blind the world is,” thought Bob, “not to see that +Popery--” he never called it anything else--“is the true faith! Curse +me but Priest M'Cabe is a famous fellow!--Zounds, what an Orangeman he +would make!--he's just the cut for it, an' it's a thousand pities he's +not one--but!--what the hell am I sayin?' They say he's cross and +ill-tempered, but I deny it--isn't he patient, except when in a +passion? and never in a passion unless when provoked; what the d--l more +would they have? I know I let fly an oath myself of an odd time (every +third word, good reader), but, then, sure the faith is never injured by +the vessel that contains it. Begad, but I'm sorry for my father, though, +for, as there's no salvation out o' Popery, the devil of it is, that +he's lost beyond purchase.” + +In such eccentric speculations did Bob amuse himself, until, in +consequence of the rapid pace at which he went, he overtook a +fellow-traveller, who turned out to be no other than our friend Darby +O'Drive. There was, in fact, considering the peculiar character of these +two converts, something irresistibly comic in this encounter. Bob knew +little or nothing of the Roman Catholic creed; and, as for Darby, we +need not say that he was thoroughly ignorant of Protestantism. Yet, +nothing could be more certain--if one could judge by the fierce +controversial cock of Bob's hat, and the sneering contemptuous +expression of Darby's face, that a hard battle, touching the safest way +of salvation, was about to be fought between them. + +Bob, indeed, had of late been anxious to meet Darby, in order, as he +said, to make him “show the cloven foot, the rascal;” but Darby's ire +against the priest was now up; and besides, he reflected that a display +of some kind would recommend him to the Reformationists, especially, +he hoped, to Mr. Lucre, who, he was resolved, should hear it. The two +converts looked at each other with no charitable aspect. Darby was about +to speak, but Bob, who thought there was not a moment to be lost, gave +him a controversial facer before he had time to utter a word:--“How many +articles in your church?” + +[Illustration: PAGE 233-- How many articles in your church?] + +“How many articles in my church! There's one bad one in your church more +than ought to be in it, since they got you:--but can you tell me how +many sins cry to heaven for vengeance on you, you poor lost hathen?” + +“Don't hathen me, you had betther; but answer my question, you rascally +heretic.” + +“Heretic inagh! oh, thin, is it from a barefaced idolather like you that +we hear heretic called to us! Faith, it's come to a purty time o' day +wid us!” + +“You're a blessed convart not to know the Forty-nine articles of your +fat establishment!” + +“And I'll hould a wager that you don't know this minute how many +saikerments in your idolathry. Oh, what a swaggerin' Catholic you are, +you poor hair-brained blackguard!” + +“I believe you found some convincin' texts in the big purse of the Bible +blackguards--do you smell that, Darby?” + +“You have a full purse, they say, but, by the time Father M'Cabe takes +the price of your trangressions out of it--as he won't fail to do--take +my word for it, it'll be as lank as a stocking without a leg in it--do +you smell that, Bob ahagur?” + +“Where was your church before the Reformation?” + +“Where was your face before it was washed?” + +“Do you know the four pillars that your Church rests upon? because if +you don't, I'LL tell you--it was Harry the aigth, Martin Luther, the +Law, and the Devil. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Ah, what a purty +boy you are, and what a deludin' face you've got.” + +“So the priest's doin' you--he's the man can pluck a fat goose, Bob.” + +“Don't talk of pluckin' geese--you have taken some feathers out o' the +Bible blades, to all accounts. How do you expect to be saved by joining +an open heresy?” + +“Whisht, you hathen, that has taken to idolathry bekase Father M'Cabe +made an ass of you by a thrick that every one knows. But I tell you to +your brazen face, that you'll be worse yet than ever you were.” + +“You disgraced your family by turnin' apostate, and we know what for. +Little Solomon, the greatest rogue unhanged, gave you the only grace you +got or ever will get.” + +“Why, you poor turncoat, isn't the whole country laughin' at you, +and none more than your own friends. The great fightin' Orangeman and +blood-hound turned voteen!--oh, are we alive afther that!” + +“The blaggard bailiff and swindler turned swadler, hopin' to get a +fatter cut from the Bible blades, oh!” + +“Have you your bades about you? if you have, I'll throuble you to give +us a touch of your Padareen Partha. Orange Bob at his Padareen Partha! +ha, ha, ha.” + +“You know much about Protestantism. Blow me, but it's a sin to see such +a knavish scoundrel professing it.” + +“It's a greater sin, you Orange omad-hawn, to see the likes o' you +disgracin' the bades an' the blessed religion you tuck an you.” + +“You were no disgrace, then, to the one you left; but you are a burnin' +scandal to the one you joined, and they ought to kick you out of it.” + +In fact, both converts, in the bitterness of their hatred, were +beginning to forget the new characters they had to support, and to glide +back unconsciously, or we should rather say, by the force of conscience, +to their original creeds. + +“If Father M'Cabe was wise he'd send you to the heretics again.” + +“If the Protestants regarded their own character, and the decency of +their religion, they'd send you back to your cursed Popery again.” + +“It's no beef atin' creed, anyway,” said Darby, who had, without knowing +it, become once more a staunch Papist, “ours isn't.” + +“It's one of knavery and roguery,” replied Bob, “sure devil a thing one +of you knows only to believe in your Pope.” + +“You had betther not abuse the Pope,” said Darby, “for fraid I'd give +you a touch o' your ould complaint, the fallin' sickness, you know, wid +my fist.” + +“Two could play at that game, Darby, and I say, to hell with him--and +the priests are all knaves and rogues, every one of them.” + +“Are they, faith,” said Darby, “here's an answer for that, anyhow.” + +“Text for text, you Popish rascal.” + +A fierce battle took place on the open highway, which was fought with +intense' bitterness on both sides. The contest, which was pretty equal, +might, however, have been terminated by the defeat of one of them, +had they been permitted to fight without support on either side; this, +however, was not to be. A tolerably large crowd, composed of an equal +number of Catholics and Protestants, collected from the adjoining +fields, where they had been at labor, immediately joined them. Their +appearance, unhappily, had only the effect of renewing the battle. +The Catholics, ignorant of the turn which the controversy had taken, +supported Bob and Protestantism; whilst the Protestants, owing to a +similar mistake, fought like devils for Darby and the Pope. A pretty +smart skirmish, in fact, which lasted more than twenty minutes, took +place between the parties, and were it not that their wives, sisters, +daughters, and mothers, assisted by many who were more peaceably +disposed, threw themselves between them, it might have been much more +serious than it was. If the weapons of warfare ceased, however, so did +not their tongues; there was abundance of rustic controversy exchanged +between them, that is to say, polemical scurrility much of the same +enlightened character as that in the preceding dialogue. The fact of +the two parties, too, that came to their assistance, having mistaken the +proper grounds of the quarrel, reduced Darby and Bob to the necessity +of retracing their steps, and hoisting once more their new colors, +otherwise their respective friends, had they discovered the blunder they +had committed, would, unquestionably, have fought the battle a second +time on its proper merits. Bob, escorted by his Catholic friends, who +shouted and huzza'd as they went along, proceeded to Father M'Cabe's; +whilst Darby and his adherents, following their example, went towards +M'Clutchy's, and having left him within sight of Constitution Cottage, +they returned to their labor. + +We have already said, that neither M'Clutchy nor M'Slime was at all a +favorite with Darby. Darby was naturally as avaricious, and griping, and +oppressive as either of them; and as he was the principal instrument of +their rapacity and extortion, he deemed it but fair and just that they +should leave him at least a reasonable share of their iniquitous gains. +They were not, however, the gentlemen to leave much behind them, and +the upshot was, that Darby became not only highly dissatisfied at their +conduct towards him, but jealous and vigilant of all their movements, +and determined to watch an opportunity of getting them both into +his power. M'Slime's trick about M'Clutchy's letter first awoke his +suspicions, and the reader is already acquainted with the dexterous +piece of piety by which he secured it. Both letters now were in his +possession, or at least in a safe place; but as he had not yet read +them, he did not exactly know what line of conduct or deportment to +assume. Then, how face M'Clutchy without M'Slime's answer? Darby, +however, was fertile, and precisely the kind of man who could, as they +sav, kill two birds with one stone. He had it;--. just the very thing +that would serve every purpose. Accordingly, instead of going to +M'Clutchy's at all, he turned his steps to his own house; tied an old +stocking around his head, got his face bandaged, and deliberately took +to his bed in a very severe state of illness. And, indeed, to tell the +truth, a day or two in bed was not calculated to do him the least harm, +but a great deal of good; for what, between the united contributions of +Father M'Cabe and Bob Beatty, he was by no means an unfit subject for +the enjoyment of a few days' retirement from public life. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV.--Poll Doolin's Honesty, and Phil's Gallantry + +--A Beautiful but Cowardly Method of Destroying Female Reputation.--A +Domiciliary Visit from the Blood-hounds--Irresponsible Power + + +At length the hour of Mary M'Loughlin's appointment with Phil arrived, +and the poor girl found herself so completely divided between the +contending principles of love for Harman and aversion towards Phil, +that she scarcely knew the purport of her thoughts or actions. Harman's +safety, however, was the predominant idea in her soul, and in order +to effect that, or at least to leave nothing undone to effect it, +she resolved, as pure and disinterested attachment always will do--to +sacrifice her detestation for young M'Clutchy, so far as to give him an +opportunity of satisfying her that he was sincere in wishing to save her +lover. This setting aside her invincible and instinctive hatred of that +worthy gentleman, was, she thought, not at least unreasonable, and with +her mind thus regulated she accordingly awaited the appointed time. On +reaching the back of her father's garden she found that Phil had not +arrived, but somewhat to her relief she was accosted by Poll Doolin, +who approached from a clump of trees that stood in deep and impenetrable +shadow, whilst she and Poll were easily visible under the dim light of +what is called a watery and cloudy moon. + +Poll, as she addressed her, spoke eagerly, and her voice trembled with +what appeared to Mary to be deep and earnest agitation. + +“Miss M'Loughlin,” she exclaimed, in a low, but tremulous voice, “I now +forgive your father all--I forgive him and his--you need not forgive, +for I never bore you ill-will--but I am bound to tell you that there's +danger over your father's house and hearth this night. There is but one +can save them, and he will. You must go into your own room, raise the +window, and he will soon be there.” + +“What is that, Poll,” said Mary, seriously alarmed, “I thought I heard +the sound of low voices among the trees there. Who are they, or what is +it?” + +“Make haste,” said Poll, leading the way, “go round to your room and +come to the window. It's an awful business--there is people there in the +clump--be quick, and when you come to the window raise it, and I'll tell +you more through it.” + +Mary, in a state of great terror, felt that ignorant as she was of the +dangers and difficulties by which she was surrounded, she had no other +alternative than to be guided by Poll, who seemed to know the full +extent of the mysterious circumstances to which she made such wild and +startling allusions. + +Poll immediately proceeded to Miss M'Loughlin's bed-room, the window of +which was soon opened by Mary herself, who with trembling hands raised +it no higher than merely to allow the necessary communication between +them. + +“You don't know, nor could you never suspect,” said Poll, “the struggles +that Misther Phil is makin' for you and yours. This night, maybe +this hour, will show his friendship for your family. And now, Mary +M'Loughlin, if you wish to have yourself and them safe--safe, I say, +from his own father's blood-hounds,” and this she hissed into her ear, +squeezing her hand at the same time until it became painful--in a voice +so low, earnest, and condensed, that it was scarcely in human nature to +question the woman's sincerity; “if,” she continued, “you wish to have +them safe--and Harman safe, be guided by him, and let him manage it +his own way. He will ask you to do nothing that is wrong or improper in +itself; but as you love your own family--as you value Harman's life--let +him act according to his own way, for he knows them he has to deal with +best.” + +“Wo--wo--heavy and bitter betide you, Poll Doolin, if you are now +deceiving me, or prompting mo to do anything that is improper! I +will not act in this business blindfold--neither I nor my family are +conscious of evil, and I shall certainly acquaint them this moment with +the danger that is over them.” + +“By the souls of the dead,” replied Poll, uttering the oath in Irish, +“if you do what you say there will be blood shed this night--the blood, +too, of the nearest and dearest to you! Do not be mad, I say, do not be +mad!” + +“May God guide me?” exclaimed the distressed girl, bursting into tears; +“for of myself I know not how to act.” + +“Be guided by Mr. Phil,” said she; “he is the only man living that can +prevent the damnable work that is designed against your family this +night.” + +She had scarcely uttered the words when Phil came breathless to the +window, and, as if moved by a sense of alarm, and an apprehension of +danger still greater than that expressed by Poll herself, he exclaimed-- + +“Miss M'Loughlin, it's no time for ceremony--my father's blood-hounds +are at your father's door; and there is but one way of saving your +family from violence and outrage. Excuse me--but I must pass in by this +window. You don't know what I risk by it; but for your sake and theirs +it must be done.” + +Even as he spake, the trampling of horses feet and the jingling of arms +were distinctly heard at M'Loughlin.'s door--a circumstance which so +completely paralyzed the distracted girl, that she became perfectly +powerless with affright. Phil availed himself of the moment, put his +hand to the window, which he raised up, and deliberately entered, after +which he shut it down. Poll, while he did so, coughed aloud, as if +giving a signal; and in an instant, a number of individuals mostly +females, approached the window, near enough to see young M'Clutchy +enter, and shut the window after him. + +“Now,” said Poll to the spectators, “I hope you're all satisfied; and +you, James Harman, will believe your own eyes, if you don't Poll Doolin. +Is that girl a fit wife for your cousin, do you think? Well, you're +satisfied, are you? Go home now, and help forrid the match, if you can. +You're a good witness of her conduct, at any rate.” + +“I did not believe you, Poll,” replied the young man whom she addressed; +“but unfortunately I am now satisfied, sure enough. My own eyes cannot +deceive me. Lost and unhappy girl! what will become of her? But that's +not all--for she has proved herself treacherous, and deceitful, and +worthless.” + +“Ay,” said the crones whom Poll had brought to witness what certainly +seemed to them to be the innocent girl's shame and degradation--“ay,” + they observed, “there's now an end to her character, at any rate. +The pride of the M'Loughlins has got a fall at last--and indeed they +desarved it; for they held their heads as upsettin' as if they were +dacent Protestants, and them nothing but Papishes affeher all.” + +“Go home, now,” said Poll; “go home all of yez. You've seen enough, +and too much. Throth I'm sorry for the girl, and did all I could, to +persuade her against the step she tuck; but it was no use--she was more +like one that tuck love powdhers from him, than a raisonable bein'.” + +Harman's cousin had already departed, but in such a state of amazement, +indignation, and disgust, that he felt himself incapable of continuing a +conversation with any one, or of bestowing his attention upon any other +topic whatsoever. He was thunderstruck--his very faculties were nearly +paralyzed, and his whole mind literally clouded in one dark chaos of +confusion and distress. + +“Now,” said Poll to the females who accompanied her--“go home every one +of yez; but, for goodness sake don't be spakin' of what you seen this +night. The poor girl's correcther's gone, sure enough; but for all that, +let us have nothing to say to her or Mr. Phil. It'll all come out time +enough, and more than time enough, without our help; so, as I said, +hould a hard cheek about it. Indeed it's the safest way to do so--for +the same M'Loughlins is a dangerous and bitther faction to make or +meddle with. Go off now, in the name of goodness, and say nothin' to +nobody--barring, indeed, to some one that won't carry it farther.” + +Whilst this dialogue, which did not occupy more than a couple of +minutes, was proceeding, a scene of a different character took place +in M'Loughlin's parlor, upon a topic which, at that period, was a very +plausible pretext for much brutal outrage and violence on the part of +the Orange yeomanry--we mean the possession, or the imputed +possession, of fire-arms. Indeed the state of society in a great part of +Ireland--shortly after the rebellion of ninety-eight--was then such as a +modern conservative would blush for. An Orangeman, who may have happened +to entertain a pique against a Roman Catholic, or sustained an injury +from one, had nothing more to do than send abroad, or get some one to +send abroad for him, a report that he had fire-arms in his possession. +No sooner had this rumor spread, than a party of these yeomanry +assembled in their regimentals, and with loaded fire-arms, proceeded, +generally in the middle of the night or about day-break, to the +residence of the suspected person. The door, if not immediately opened, +was broken in--the whole house ransacked--the men frequently beaten +severely, and the ears of females insulted by the coarsest and most +indecent language. + +These scenes, which in nineteen cases out of twenty, the Orangemen got +up to gratify private hatred and malignity, were very frequent, and +may show us the danger of any government entrusting power, in whatever +shape, or arms or ammunition, to irresponsible hands, or subjecting one +party to the fierce passions and bigoted impulses of another. + +The noise of their horses' feet as they approached M'Loughlin's house +in a gallop, alarmed that family, who knew at once that it was a +domiciliary visit from M'Clutchy's cavalry. + +“Raise the window,” said M'Loughlin himself, “and ask them what they +want--or stay, open the door,” he added at the same time to another, +“and do not let us give them an excuse for breaking it in. It's the +blood-hounds, sure enough,” observed he, “and here they are.” + +In a moment they were dismounted, and having found the hall door +open, the parlor was crowded with armed men, who manifested all the +overbearing insolence and wanton insult of those who know that they can +do so with impunity. + +“Come, M'Loughlin,” said Cochrane, now their leader, “you ribelly Papish +rascal, produce your arms--for we have been informed that you have arms +consaled in the house.” + +“Pray who informed you, Mr. Cochrane?” + +“That's not your business, my man,” replied Cochrane, “out with them +before we search.” + +“I'll tell you what, Cochrane,” replied M'Loughlin, “whoever informed +you that we have arms is a liar--we have no arms.” + +“And right well they know that,” said his son, “it's not for arms they +come, but it's a good excuse to insult the family.” + +His father (who, on looking more closely at them, now perceived that +they were tipsy, and some of them quite drunk) though a man of singular +intrepidity, deemed it the wisest and safest course to speak to them as +civilly as possible. + +“I did'nt think, Tom Cochrane,” said he, “that either I or any of my +family, deserved such a visit as this from, I may say, my own door +neighbors. It's not over civil, I think, to come in this manner, +disturbing a quiet and inoffensive family.” + +“What's the ribelly rascal sayin'?” asked a drunken fellow, who lurched +across the floor, and would have fallen, had he not come in contact with +a chest of drawers, “what, wha-at's he say-ayin? but I sa-ay here's to +hell with the Po-po-pope--hurra!” + +“Ah?” said young M'Loughlin, “you have the ball at your own foot now, +but if we were man to man, with equal weapons, there would be none of +this swagger.” + +“What's tha-at the young rible says,” said 'the drunken fellow, +deliberately covering him with his cavalry pistol--“another word, and +I'll let day-light through you.” + +“Come, Burke,” said a man named Irwin, throwing up the muzzle of +the pistol, “none o' this work, you drunken brute. Don't be alarmed, +M'Loughlin, you shan't be injured.” + +“Go go to h--l, George, I'll do what I--I li-like; sure 'all these +ribels ha-hate King William that sa-saved us from brass money a-and +wooden noggins--eh, stay, shoes it is; no matter, they ought to be +brogues I think, for it--it's brogues--ay, brogues, the papish--it is, +by hell, 'brogues and broghans an' a' the Pa-papishes wear--that +saved us from bra-brass money, an--and wooden brogues, that's it--for +dam-damme if ever the Papishers was da-dacent enough to wear brass +shoes, never, by jingo; so, boys, it's brass brogues--ay, do they +ha-hate King William, that put us in the pil-pillory, the pillory in +hell, and the devils pel-peltin' us with priests,--hurra boys, recover +arms--stand at aise--ha--ram down Catholics--hurra!” + +“Mr. M'Loughlin--” + +“Mislher M'Loughlin! ay, there's respect for a Pa-pish, an' from a +purple man, too!” + +“You had better be quiet, Burke,” retorted Irwin, who was a determined +and powerful man. + +“For God's sake, gentlemen,” said Mrs. M'Loughlin, “do not disturb or +alarm our family--you are at liberty to search the house, but, as God +is above us, we have no arms of any kind, and consequently there can be +none in the house.” + +“Don't believe her,” said Burke, “she's Papish--” He had not time to add +the offensive epithet, what ever it might have been, for Irwin--who, in +truth, accompanied the party with the special intention of repressing +outrage against the M'Loughlins whom he very much respected--having +caught him by the neck, shook the words back again, as it were, into his +very throat. “You ill-tongued drunken ruffian,” said he, “if you don't +hold your scoundrell tongue, I'll pitch you head foremost out of the +house. We must search, Mrs. M'Loughlin,” said Irwin, “but it will be +done as quietly as possible.” + +They then proceeded through all the rooms, into which, singular as it +may appear, they scarcely looked, until they came into that in which we +left Mary M'Loughlin and Phil. The moment this worthy gentleman heard +their approach, he immediately shut the door, and, with all the seeming +trepidation and anxiety of a man who feared discover bustled about, and +made a show of preparing to resist their entrance. On coming to the +door, therefore, they found it shut, and everything apparently silent +within. + +“Open the door,” said Irwin, “we want to search for arms.” + +“Ah! boys,” said Phil in a whisper through he key-hole, “pass on if you +love me--I give you my word of honor that there's no arms here but a +brace that is worth any money to be locked in.” + +“We must open, Mr. Phil,” said Sharpe, “you know our ordhers. By +Japurs,” said he, in a side voice to the rest, “the fellow wasn't +boastin' at all; it's true enough--I'll uould goold he was right, and +that we'll find her inside with him.” + +“When I see it, I'll believe it,” said Irwin, but not till then. Open, +sir,” said he, “open, if all's right.” + +“Oh, d--n it, boys,” said Phil again, “this is too bad--honor +bright:--surely you wouldn't expose us, especially the girl.” At the +same time he withdrew his shoulder from the door, which flew open, and +discovered him striving to soothe and console Miss M'Loughlin, who +had not yet recovered her alarm and agitation, so as to understand the +circumstances which took place about her. In fact, she had been in that +description of excitement which, without taking away animation, leaves +the female (for it is peculiar to the sex) utterly incapable of taking +anything more than a vague cognizance of that which occurs before her +eyes. The moment she and Phil were discovered together, not all Irwin's +influence could prevent the party from indulging in a shout of triumph. +This startled her, and was, indeed, the means of restoring her to +perfect consciousness, and a full perception of her situation. + +“What is this?” she inquired, “and why is it that a peaceable house +is filled with armed men? and you, Mr. M'Clutchy, for what treacherous +purpose did you intrude into my private room?” + +M'Loughlin. himself, from a natural dread of collision between his +sons and the licentious yeomanry, and trusting to the friendship and +steadiness of Irwin, literally stood sentinel at the parlor door, and +prevented them from accompanying the others in the search. + +“My darling Mary,” said Phil, “it's too late now, you see, to speak in +this tone--we're caught, that's all, found out, and be cursed to these +fellows. If they had found us anywhere else but in your bed-room, I +didn't so much care; however, it can't be helped now.” + +As he spoke he raised his eye-brows from time to time at his companions, +and winked with an expression of triumph so cowardly and diabolical, +that it is quite beyond our ability to describe it. They, in the +meantime, winked and nodded in return, laughed heartily, and poked one +another in the ribs. + +“Bravo, Mr. Phil!--success, Captain!--more power to you!” + +“Come now, boys,” said Phil, “let us go. Mary, my darling, I must leave +you; but we'll meet again where they can't disturb us--stand around me, +boys, for, upon my honor and soul, these hot-headed fellows of brothers +of hers will knock my brain's out, if you don't guard me well; here, +put me in the middle of you--good by, Mary, never mind this, we'll meet +again.” + +However anxious M'Loughlin had been to prevent the possibility of angry +words or blows between his sons and these men still the extraordinary +yell which accompanied the discovery of young M'Clutchy in his +daughter's bedroom, occasioned him to relax his vigilance, and rush to +the spot, after having warned and urged them to remain where they were. +Notwithstanding his remonstrances, they followed his footsteps, and the +whole family, in fact, reached her door as Phil uttered the last words. + +“Great God, what is this,” exclaimed her father, “how came M'Clutchy, +Val the Vulture's son, into my daughter's sleeping-room? How came you +here, sir?” he added sternly, “explain it.” + +Not even a posse of eighteen armed men, standing in a circle about him, +each with a cocked and loaded pistol in his hand, could prevent the +cowardly and craven soul of him from quailing before the eye of her +indignant father. His face became like a sheet of paper, perfectly +bloodless, and his eye sank as if it were never again to look from the +earth, or in the direction of the blessed light of heaven. + +“Ah!” he proceeded, “you are, indeed, your treacherous, cowardly, and +cruel father's son; you cannot raise your eye upon me, and neither +could he. Mary,” he proceeded, addressing his daughter, “how did this +treacherous scoundrel get into your room? tell the truth--but that I +need not add, for I know you will.” + +His daughter had been standing for some time in a posture that betrayed +neither terror nor apprehension. Raised to her full height, she looked +upon M'Clutchy and his men alternately, but principally upon himself, +with a smile which in truth was fearful. Her eyes brightened into clear +and perfect fire, the roundness of her beautiful arm was distended +by the coming forth of its muscles--her lips became firm--her cheek +heightened in color--and her temples were little less than scarlet. +There she stood, a concentration of scorn, contempt, and hatred the +most intense, pouring upon the dastardly villain an unbroken stream of +withering fury, that was enough to drive back his cowardly soul into the +deepest and blackest recesses of its own satanic baseness. Her father, +in fact, was obliged to address her twice, before he could arrest her +attention; for such was the measureless indignation which her eye poured +upon him, that she could scarcely look upon any other object. + +“My child, did you hear me?” said her father. “How did this heartless +and down-looking scoundrel get into your apartment?” + +She looked quickly upon her father's features-- + +“How?” said she; “how but by treachery, falsehood, and fraud! Is he not +Val M'Clutchy's son, my dear father?” + +Her brothers had not yet uttered a syllable, but stood like their sister +with flushed cheeks and burning indignation in their eyes. On hearing +what their sister had just said, however, as if they had all been +moved by the same impulse, thought, or determination--as in truth they +were--their countenances became pale as death--they looked at each +other significantly--then at Phil--and they appeared very calm, as +if relieved--satisfied; but the expression of the eye darkened into a +meaning that was dreadful to look upon. + +“That is enough, my child,” replied her father; “I suppose, my friends, +you are now satisfied--.” + +“Yes, by h--l,” shouted Burke, “we are now satisfied.” + +Irwin had him again by the neck--“Silence,” said he, “or, as heaven's +above mo, I'll drive your brainless skull in with the butt of my +pistol.” + +“You are satisfied,” continued M'Loughlin, “that there are no arms here. +I hope you will now withdraw. As for you, treacherous and cowardly spawn +of a treacherous and cowardly father, go home and tell him to do his +worst.--that I scorn and defy him--that I will live to see him----; but +I am wrong,he is below our anger, and I will not waste words upon him.” + +“You will find you have used a thrifle too many for all that,” said +another of them; “when he hears them, you may be sure he'll put them in +his pocket for you--as hear them he will.” + +“We don't care a d--n,” said another, “what he does to blackguard +Papishes, so long as he's a right good Orangeman, and a right good +Protestant, too.” + +“Come now,” said Irwin, “our duty is over--let us start for home; we +have no further business here.” + +“Won't you give us something to drink?” asked a new voice; “I think we +desarve it for our civility. We neither broke doors nor furniture, nor +stabbed either bed or bed-clothes. We treated you well, and if you're +dacent you'll treat us well.” + +“Confound him,” said a fresh hand; “I'd not drink his cursed Papish +whiskey. Sure the Papishes gets the priest to christen it for them. I +wouldn't drink his cursed Papish whiskey.” + +“No, nor I,” said several voices;--upon which a loud and angry dispute +arose among them, as to whether it were consistent with true loyalty, +and the duties of a staunch Protestant and Orangeman, to drink 'Papish +liquor,' as they termed it, at all. + +Irwin, who joined the negative party, insisted strongly that it would be +disgraceful for any man who had drunk the glorious, pious, and immortal +memory, ever to contaminate his loyal lips with whiskey that had been +made a Papish of by the priest. This carried the argument, or otherwise +it is hard to say what mischief might have arisen, had they heightened +their previous intoxication. + +Phil, during this dialogue, still retained his place in the centre +of his friends; but from time to time he kept glancing from under his +eyebrows at M'Loughlin and his sons, in that spaniel-like manner, which +betrays a consciousness of offence and a dread of punishment. + +Irwin now caused them to move off; and, indeed, scarcely anything could +be more ludicrous than the utter prostration of all manly feeling upon +the part of the chief offender. On separating, the same baleful +and pallid glances were exchanged between the brothers, who clearly +possessed an instinctive community of feeling upon the chief incident of +the night--we mean that of finding M'Clutchy in their sister's bedroom. +Irwin noticed their mute, motionless, but ghastly resentment, as did +Phil himself, who, whether they looked at him or not, felt that their +eyes were upon him, and that come what might, so long as he remained +in the country he was marked as their victim. This consciousness of his +deserts was not at all lessened by the observations of Irwin upon his +conduct; for be it known, that although there subsisted a political bond +that caused Phil and the violent spirits of the neighborhood to come +frequently together, yet nothing could exceed the contempt which they +felt for him in his private and individual capacity. + +“Brother M'Clutchy,” said Irwin, “I'm afraid you've made a bad night's +work of it. By the moon above us, I wouldn't take the whole Castle +Cumber property and stand in your shoes from this night out.” + +“Why so?” said Phil, who was now safe and beyond their immediate reach; +“why so, Irwin? I'll tell you what, Irwin; d---- my honor, but I think +you're cowardly. Did you see how steady I was to-night? Not a syllable +escaped my lips; but, zounds, didn't you see how my eye told?” + +“Faith, I certainly did, brother Phil, and a devilish bad tale it told, +too, for yourself. Your father has promised me a new lease, with your +life in it; but after this night, and after what I saw, I'll beg to have +your name left out of that transaction.” + +“But didn't you see, George,” returned Phil, “that a man of them +durstn't look me in the face? They couldn't stand my eye; upon my honor +they couldn't.” + +“Ay,” said Burke, “that's because they're Papishes. A rascally Papish +can never look a Protestant in the face.” + +“Well but,” said Phil, “you would not believe that the girl was so fond +of me as she is, until you saw it. I knew very well they had no arms; +so, as I wished to give you an opportunity of judging for yourselves, I +put the journey upon that footing.” + +“Well,” said Irwin, “we shall see the upshot--that's all.” + +They then escorted Phil home, after which they dispersed. + +When M'Loughlin's family assembled in the parlor, after their departure, +a deep gloom I brooded over them for some minutes. Mary herself was the +first to introduce the incident which gave them so much distress, and in +which she herself had been so painfully involved. She lost not a moment, +therefore, in relating fully and candidly the whole nature of her +intercourse with Poll Doolin, and the hopes held out to her of Harman's +safety, through Phil M'Clutchy. At the same time, she expressed in +forcible language, the sacrifice of feeling which it had cost her, and +the invincible disgust with which she heard his very name alluded +to. She then simply related the circumstance of his entering her +room through the open window, and her belief, in consequence of the +representations of Poll Doolin, that he did so out of his excessive +anxiety to prevent bloodshed by the troopers--the trampling of whose +horses' feet and the ringing of whose arms had so completely overpowered +her with the apprehension of violence, that she became incapable of +preventing M'Clutchy's entrance, or even of uttering a word for two or +three minutes. + +“However,” said she, “I now see their design, which was to' ruin my +reputation, and throw a stain upon my character and good name. So far, I +fear, they have succeeded.” Tears then came to her relief, and she wept +long and bitterly. + +“Do not let it trouble you, my darling,” said her father. “Your +conscience and heart are innocent, and that is a satisfaction greater +than anything can deprive you of. You were merely wrong in not letting +us know the conversation that took place between Poll Doolin and you; +because, although you did not know it, we could have told you that Poll +is a woman that no modest female ought to speak to in a private way. +There was your error, Mary; but the heart was right with you, and +there's no one here going to blame you for a fault that you didn't know +to be one.” + +Mary started on hearing this account of Poll Doolin, for she felt now +that the interviews she held with her were calculated to heighten her +disgrace, when taken in connection with the occurrence of the night. +Her brothers, however, who knew her truth and many virtues, joined their +parents in comforting and supporting her, but without the success which +they could have wished. The more she thought of the toils and snares +that had been laid for her, the more her perception of the calamity +began to gain strength, and her mind to darken. She became restless, +perplexed, and feverish--her tears ceased to flow--she sighed deeply, +and seemed to sink into that most withering of maladies, dry grief, +which, in her case, was certainly the tearless anguish of the heart. +In this state she went to bed, conscious of her own purity, but by no +means, in its full extent, of the ruined reputation to which she must +awake on the succeeding day. + +Mary's brothers, with the exception of the words in which they joined +their father and mother in consoling her, scarcely uttered a syllable +that night--the same silent spirit, be it of good or evil, remained upon +them. They looked at each other, however, from time to time, and seemed +to need no other interpreter of what passed within them, but their own +wild and deep-meaning glances. This did not escape their father, who was +so much struck, perhaps alarmed, by it, that he very properly deemed it +his duty to remonstrate with them on the subject. + +“Boys,” said he, “I don't understand your conduct this night, and, above +all, I don't understand your looks--or rather, I think I do, I'm afraid +I do--but, listen to me, remember that revenge belongs to God. You know +what the Scripture says, 'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, and I will +repay it.' Leave that bad son of a worse father to God.” + +“He has destroyed Mary's reputation,” said John, the eldest; “I might, +possibly, forgive him if he had killed her like a common murderer, but +he has destroyed our pure-hearted sister's reputation, ha, ha, ha.” The +laugh that followed these last words came out so unexpectedly, abruptly, +and wildly, that his father and mother both started. He then took the +poker in his hands, and, with a smile at his brothers, in which much +might be read, he clenched his teeth, and wound it round his arms with +apparent ease. “If I gotten thousand pounds,” said he, “I could not have +done that two hours ago, but I can now--are you satisfied?” said he to +his brothers. + +“Yes, John,” they replied, “we are satisfied--that will do.” + +“Yes,” he proceeded, “I could forgive anything but that. The father's +notice to us to quit the holding on which we and our forefathers lived +so long, and expended so much money--and his refusal to grant us a +lease, are nothing:--now we could forgive all that; but this, +this--oh, I have no name for it--the language has not words to express +it--but--well, well, no matter for the present. If the cowardly +scoundrel would fight!--but he won't, for the courage is not in him.” + + + + +CHAPTER XV.--Objects of an English Traveller + +--Introduction of a New Character--Correspondence between Evory Easel, +Esq., and Sam Spinageberd, Esq.--Susanna and the Elder; or, the +Conventicle in Trouble--Phils Gallantry and Courage. + + +It was about eleven o'clock the next day that a person in the garb of a +gentleman, that is, the garb was a plain one enough, but the air of the +person who wore it was evidently that of a man who had seen and mingled +in respectable life, was travelling towards Springfield, the residence +of Mr. Hickman, when he overtook two females, one of whom was dressed in +such a way as made it clear that she wished to avoid the risk of being +known. She was a little above the middle size, and there could be +little doubt, from the outline of her figure, that, in the opinion +of unsuspicious people, she had reached the dignity of a matron. Her +companion was dressed in faded black, from top to toe, and from the +expression of her thin, sallow face, and piercing black eyes, there +could be little doubt she had seen a good deal of the world as it exists +in rustic life. The person who overtook these two females carried a +portfolio, and appeared to observe the country and its scenery, as he +went along with well marked attention. + +“Pray, ma'am,” said he, “whose is that fine old building to the right, +which appears to be going to ruin? It is evidently not inhabited.” + +“You're a stranger in the place, then,” replied the female, “or you +surely might know Castle Cumber House, where old Tom Topertoe used +to live before the union came. He was made a lord of for sellin' our +parliament, and now his son, the present lord, is leadin' a blessed life +abroad, for he never shows his face here.” + +“He is an absentee, then?” + +“To be sure he is, and so is every man of them now, barrin' an odd +one. The country's deserted, and although business is lookin' up +a little--take your time, Susanna, we needn't be in sich a hurry +now--although, as I said, business is lookin' up a little, still it's +nothing to what it was when the gentry lived at home wid us.” + +“Who is agent to this Lord Cumber, pray?” + +“A blessed boy, by all accounts, but that's all I'll say about him--I +know him too well to make him my enemy.” + +“Why, is he not popular--is he not liked by the tenantry?” + +“Oh, Lord, to be sure--they doat upon him; and, indeed, no wondher, he's +so kind and indulgent to the poor. To tell you the truth, he's a great +blessin' to the country.” + +“That, to be sure, is very satisfactory--and, pray, if I may take the +liberty, who is his law agent, or has he one?” + +“Why, another blessed--hem--a very pious devout man, named Mr. Solomon +M'Slime, an attorney--but, indeed, an attorney that almost shames the +Bible itself, he's so religious. Isn't he, Susanna?” + +“He hath good gifts; if he doth not abuse them.” + +“Religion is certainly the best principle in life, if sincerely felt, +and not prostituted and made a mask of.” + +“A mask! isn't that, sir, a thing that people put on and off their face, +according as it may suit them?” + +“Just so, madam; you have exactly described it.” + +“Oh, the divil a mask ever he made of it, then, for he never lays it +aside at all. He has kept it on so steadily, that, I'll take my oath, +if he was to throw, it off now, he wouldn't know himself in the +looking-glass, it's so long since he got a glimpse of his own face.” + +“Lord Cumber must be a happy man to have two such valuable agents upon +his property.” + +“Talkin' of Lord Cumber and his property, if you wish to know all about +them, here's your man comin' over by the cross road here--he's goin' +to M'Clutchy's I suppose, and, as you appear to be goin' in the same +direction, I'll hand you over to him. Good morrow, Darby?” + +“Good morrow, kindly, Poll, and--eh--who's this you've got wid you?” he +continued, eyeing Susanna, “a stranger to me, any how. Well, Poll, and +how are you?” + +“There's no use in complainin', Darby; I'm middlin'--and how is +yourself?” + +“Throth, Poll, I've a lump in my stomach that I fear will settle me yet, +if I don't get it removed somehow. But, sure, the hathens, I forgive +them.” In the meantime he slyly rubbed his nose and winked both eyes, as +he looked towards Susanna, as much as to say, “I know all.” + +Poll, however, declined to notice the recognition, but renewed the +discourse-- + +“Why, Darby, how did the lump come into your stomach? Faith, in these +hard times, there's many a poor divel would be glad to have such a +complaint--eh?” + +“And, is it possible you didn't hear it?” he asked with surprise, +“howandever, you shall. I was carrying a letther from Mr. M'Slime, that +good, pious crature”--another shrewd look at Susanna, “Mr. M'Slime to +Mr. M'Clutchy, another good gintleman, too, and who should attack me +on the way but that turncoat hathen Bob Beatty, wid a whole posse of +idolathers at his heels. They first abused me because I left them in +their darkness, and then went to search me for writs, swearin' that +they'd make me ait every writ I happened to have about me. Now, I +didn't like to let Mr. M'Slime's letther fall into their hands, and, +accordingly, I tore it up and swallowed it, jist in ordher to disappoint +the hathens. Howandever, I'm sufferin' for it, but sure you know, Poll, +it's our duty--I don't mane yours, for you're a hathen and idolather +still--but mine; it's my duty to suffer for the thruth, anyhow.” + +Poll's laughter was loud and vehement on hearing these sentiments from +a man she knew so well; but, to tell the truth, Darby, who felt that, in +consequence of his last interview with Lucre, he was in for it, came to +the resolution of doing it heavy, as they say, or, in other words, of +going the whole hog. + +“This appears to be a strange country, observed the traveller. + +“Wait,” said Poll, “till you come to know it, and you'll say that.” + +“No, but wait,” observed Darby, “till the spread comes, and then you may +say it.” + +“What do you mean by the spread?” asked! the stranger. + +“Why, the spread o' the gospel--of religion, to be shure,” replied +Darby; “and in this counthry,” he added, “a glorious spread it is, +the Lord be praised! Are you travellin far in this direction, sir, wid +summission?” + +“I am going as far as Springfield, the residence of a Mr. Hickman, to +whom I have a letter of introduction. Do you know him?” + +“He was an agent on this property,” replied Darby; “but Mr. M'Clutchy +came afther him; and, indeed, the tenants is mighty well satisfied wid +the change. Hickman, sir, was next to a hathen--made no differ in life +between an idolather and a loyal Protestant, but Mr. M'Clutchy, on the +other hand, knows how to lean to his own, as he ought to do. And in +regard o' that, I'd advise you when you see Mr. Hickman, jist to be on +your guard as to what he may say about the Castle Cumber property, +and them that's employed an it. Between you and me, he's not over +scrupulous, and don't be surprised if he lays it hot and heavy on Mr. +M'Clutchy and others, not forgettin' your humble sarvant, merely in +regard of our honesty and loyalty, for I'm a staunch Protestant, myself, +glory be to God, and will support the Castle Cumber inthrest through +thick and thin. Now, sir,” he added, “there's two ways to Hickman's; and +between you and me agin' Mr. Hickman is a real gentleman, exceptin' his +little failings about M'Clutchy; but who is widout them? I dunna, but it +would be as well if he had remained agent still; and when you see him, +if you happen to say that Darby O'Drive tould you so, I think he'll +understand you. Well--there's two ways, as I said, to this place--one by +this road, that turns to the right--which, indeed, is the shortest--the +other is by Constitution Cottage, which is M'Clutchy's place, where I am +goin' to.” + +The stranger, after thanking Darby for his information, took the shorter +road, and in about an hour or so reached Springfield. + +It is not our intention to detail his interview with Mr. Hickman. For +the present it is sufficient to say, that he produced to that gentleman +a letter of introduction from Lord Cumber himself, who removed all +mystery from about him, by stating that he was an English artist, who +came over on a foolish professional tour, to see and take sketches of +the country, as it appeared in its scenery, as well as in the features, +character, and costume of its inhabitants. He had also introductions to +M'Clutchy, M'Slime, Squire Deaker, M. Lucre, and several other prominent +characters of the neighborhood. + +As this gentleman amused himself by keeping an accurate and regular +journal of all events connected with the Castle Cumber property, or +which occurred on it, we feel exceedingly happy in being able to lay +these important chronicles before our readers, satisfied as we are, that +they will be valued, at least on the other side of the channel, exactly +in proportion to the scanty opportunities he had of becoming acquainted +with our language, manners, and character. The MS. is now before us, +and the only privilege we reserve to ourselves is simply to give his +dialogue an Irish turn, and to fill up an odd chasm here and there, +occasioned by his ignorance of circumstances which have come to our +knowledge through personal cognizance, and various other sources. The +journal now in our possession is certainly the original one; but we know +that copies of it were addressed successively, as the events occurred, +to a gentleman in London, named Spinageberd, under cover to Lord Cumber +himself, who kindly gave them the benefit of his frank, during the +correspondence. Our friend, the journalist, as the reader will perceive, +does not merely confine himself to severe facts, but gives us all the +hints, innuendoes, and rumors of the day, both personal, religious and +political. With these, our duty is simply to confirm or contradict them +where we can, and where we cannot, to leave them just as we found them, +resting upon their intrinsic claims to belief or otherwise. Having +premised thus far, we beg leave to introduce to our reader's special +acquaintance, Evory Easel, Esq., an English Artist and Savan, coming to +_do_ a portion of the country, ladies and gentleman, as has been often +done before. + + +Batch No. I. Evory Easel, Esq., to Sam Spinageberd, Esq. + +“Old Spinageberd: + +“Here I am at last, in the land of fun and fighting---mirth and +misery--orange and green. I would have written to you a month ago, but, +that such a course was altogether out of my calculation. The moment I +arrived, I came to the determination of sauntering quietly about, but +confining myself to a certain locality, listening to, and treasuring +up, whatever I could see or hear, without yet availing myself of Lord +Cumber's introductions, in order that my first impressions of the +country and the people, might result from personal observation, and not +from the bias, which accounts heard here from either party, might be apt +to produce. First, then, I can see the folly, not to say the injustice, +which I ought to say, of a landlord placing his property under the +management of a furious partisan, whose opinions, political and +religious are not merely at variance with but, totally opposed to, those +whose interests are entrusted to his impartiality and honesty. In the +management of a property circumstanced as that of Castle Cumber is, +where the population is about one-half Roman Catholic, and the +other half Protestant and Presbyterian, between us, any man, my dear +Spinageberd, not a fool or knave, must see the madness of employing a +fellow who avows himself an enemy to the creed of one portion of the +tenantry, and a staunch supporter of their opponents. Is this fair, or +can justice originate in its purity from such a source? Is it reasonable +to suppose that a Roman Catholic tenantry, who, whatever they may bear, +are impatient of any insult or injustice offered to their creed, or, +which is the same thing, to themselves on account of that creed,--is it +reasonable, I say, to suppose that such a people could rest satisfied +with a man who acts towards them only through the medium of his fierce +and ungovernable prejudices? Is it not absurd to imagine for one moment +that property can be fairly administered through such hands, and, if +not property, how much less justice itself. You may judge of my +astonishment, as an Englishman, when I find that the administration of +justice is in complete keeping with that of property; for, I find it an +indisputable fact, that nineteen magistrates, out of every twenty, are +Orangemen, or party men of some description, opposed to Roman Catholic +principles. And, yet, the Roman Catholic party are expected to exhibit +attachment to the government which not merely deprives them of their +civil rights, but literally places the execution of the laws in the +hands of their worst and bitterest enemies. I say so deliberately; for +I find that nothing so strongly recommends a man to the office +of magistrate, or, indeed, to any office under government, as the +circumstance of being a strong, conspicuous anti-Catholic. In writing +to you, my dear Spinageberd, you may rest assured that I will give +expression to nothing but truths which are too well known to be +contradicted. The subject of property in Ireland, is one, which, +inasmuch as it is surrounded with great difficulties, is also entitled +to great consideration. + +“If there be any one prejudice in the character of an Irish peasant +stronger or more dangerous than another--and he has many, they say, that +are both strong and dangerous--it is that which relates to property and +the possession of it. This prejudice is, indeed, so conscious of its own +strength, and imbued in this opinion with so deep a conviction of its +justice, that, in ordinary circumstances, it scorns the aid of all +collateral and subordinate principles and even flings religion aside, as +an unnecessary ally, justice, therefore, or oppression, or partiality in +the administration of property, constitutes the greatest crime known to +the agrarian law, and is consequently resisted by the most unmitigable +and remorseless punishment. The peasant who feels, or believes himself +to be treated with injustice, or cruelty, never pauses to reflect upon +the religion of the man whom he looks upon as his oppressor. He will +shoot a Catholic landlord or agent from behind a hedge, with as much +good will as he would a Protestant. Indeed, in general, he will prefer a +Protestant landlord to those of his own creed, knowing well, as he does, +that the latter, where they are possessed of property, constitute the +very worst class of landlords in the kingdom. As religion, therefore, is +not at all necessarily mixed up with the Irishman's prejudices as this +subject--it is consequently both dangerous and wicked to force it to an +adhesion with so dreadful a principle as that which resorts to noon-day +or midnight murder. This is unfortunately what such fellows as this +M'Clutchy do. They find the Irish peasant with but one formidable +prejudice in relation to property, and by a course of neglect, +oppression, and rapacity, joined to all the malignant rancor of +religious bigotry and party feeling, they leave him goaded by a hundred. +I believe in my soul that there are many fire-brands like M'Clutchy in +this country, who create the crime, in order to have the gratification +of punishing it, and of wreaking a legal vengeance upon the unfortunate +being who has been guilty of it, in order that they may recommend +themselves as loyal men to the government of the day. If this be so, how +can the country be peaceable? If it be peaceable, such men can have +no opportunity of testing their loyalty, and if they do not test their +loyalty, they can have no claim upon the government, and having no claim +upon the government, they will get nothing from it. The day will come, I +hope, when the very existence of men like these, and of the system which +encouraged; them, will be looked upon with disgust and wonder--when the +government of our country will make no invidious distinctions of creed +or party, and will not base the administration of its principles upon +the encouragement of hatred between man and man. + +“Hickman, the former agent, was the first to whom I presented Lord +Cumber's letter. He is a gentleman by birth, education, and property; a +man of a large and a liberal mind, well stored with information and has +the character of being highly, if not punctiliously honorable. His age +is about fifty-five, but owing to his regular and temperate habits of +life, and in this country temperance is a virtue indeed, he scarcely, +looks beyond forty. Indeed, I may observe by the way, that in this +blessed year of ----, the after-dinner indulgences of the Irish +squirearchy, who are the only class that remain in the country, resemble +the drunken orgies of Silenus and his satyrs, more than anything else to +which I can compare them. The conversation is in general licentious, +and the drinking beastly; and I don't know after all, but the Irish are +greater losers by their example than they would be by their absence. + +“On making inquiries into the state and management of this property, +I found Hickman actuated by that fine spirit of gentlemanly delicacy, +which every one, rich and poor, attribute to him. M'Clutchy having +succeeded him, he very politely declined to enter into the subject +at any length, but told me that I could be at no loss in receiving +authentic information on a subject so much and so painfully canvassed. +I find it is a custom in this country for agents to lend money to their +employers, especially when they happen to be in a state of considerable +embarrassment, by which means the unfortunate landlord is seldom able +to discharge or change his agent, should he misconduct himself; and is +consequently saddled with a vampire probably for life, or while there is +any blood to be got out of him. Hickman, who has other agencies, makes +it a point of principle, never to lend money to a landlord, by which +means he avoids those imputations which are so frequently and justly +brought against those who trade upon the embarrassments of their +employers, in order to get them into their power. + +“May 13.--There are two newspapers in the town of Castle Cumber, +conducted upon opposite principles: one of them is called _The Castle +Cumber True Blue_, and is the organ of the Orange Tory party, and the +High Church portion of the Establishment. The other advocates the cause +of the Presbyterians, Dissenters, and gives an occasional lift to the +Catholics. There is also a small party here, which, however, is gaining +ground every day, called the Evangelical, an epithet adopted for the +purpose of distinguishing them from the mere worldly and political High +Churchmen, who, together with all the loyalty and wealth, have +certainly all the indifference to religion, and most of the secular and +ecclesiastical corruptions that have disgraced the Church, and left it +little better than a large mass of bribes in the hands of the English +minister. In such a state of things, you may judge how that rare grace, +piety, is rewarded. There is, besides, no such thing to be found in +this country as an Irish bishop, nor, is a bishop ever appointed for his +learning or his piety; on the contrary, the unerring principle of their +elevation to the mitre, is either political, or family influence, or +both. I wish I could stop here but I cannot; there are, unfortunately, +still more flagitious motives for their appointment. English ministers +have been found who were so strongly influenced by respect for the +religion and Church Establishment of the Irish, that they have not +blushed to promote men, who were the convenient instruments of their +own profligacy, to some of the richest sees in the kingdom. But I am +travelling out of my record; so to return. The name of the second paper +is the _Genuine Patriot, and Castle Cumber Equivocal_; this last journal +is, indeed, sorely distressed between the Catholic and Evangelical +parties. The fact is, that the Evangelicals entertain such a horror of +Popery, as a spiritual abomination, that they feel highly offended that +their advocates should also be the advocate of Old Broadbottom, as the +Orangemen call the Pope; in consequence, they say, of his sitting upon +seven hills. The editors of these papers are too decidedly opposed +in general, to be on bad terms with each other; or, to speak more +intelligibly, they are not on the same side, and consequently do not +hate each other as they ought and would. The town of Castle Cumber, like +every other country town, is one mass of active and incessant scandal; +and, it not infrequently happens that the _True Blue_ will generously +defend an individual on the opposite side, and the _Genuine Patriot_ +fight for a High Churchman. The whole secret of this, however is, +that it is the High Churchman who writes in the _Patriot_, and the +Evangelical in the _True Blue_, each well knowing that a defence by +an opposing paper is worth more than one by his favorite organ. In the +instance I am about to specify, however, the case was otherwise, each +paper adhering to the individual of his own principles. On taking up the +_True Blue_ I read the following passage, to which I have fortunately +obtained a key that will make the whole matter quite intelligible. The +article was headed:-- + +“Susanna and the Elder; or the Conventicle in trouble. + +“'For some time past we regret, sincerely regret, as Christian men, that +a rumor has, by degrees, been creeping into circulation, which we trust +is, like most rumors of the kind, without foundation. The reputation +of a very pious professional gentleman, well known for his zeal and +activity in the religious world, is said to be involved in it, but, we +trust, untruly. The gentleman in question, has, we know, many enemies; +and we would fain hope, that this is merely some evil device fabricated +by the adversaries of piety and religion. The circumstances alluded +to are briefly these: Susanna, says the evil tongue of rumor, was a +religious young person, residing in the character of children's maid in +the family. She was of decided piety, and never known to be absent +from morning and evening worship; it seems, besides, that she is +young, comely, and very agreeable, indeed, to the mere, secular eye her +symmetry had been remarkable, but indeed female graces are seldom long +lived; she is not now, it seems, in the respectable gentleman's family +alluded to, and her friends are anxious to see her, but cannot. So the +idle story goes, but we hesitate not to say that it originates in the +vindictive malice of some concealed enemy, who envies the gentleman +in question his pure and unsullied reputation. We would not ourselves +advert to it at all, but that we hope it may meet his eye, and prompt +him to take the earliest measures to contradict and refute it, as we are +certain he will and can do.' + +“This was all exceedingly kind, and certainly so very charitable that +the Equivocal could not, with any claim to Christian principles, suffer +itself to be outdone in that blessed spirit of brotherly love and +forgiveness, which, it trusted, always characterized its pages. + +“'We are delighted,' it said, 'at the mild and benevolent tone in which, +under the common misconception, a little anecdote, simple and harmless +in itself, was uttered. Indeed, we smiled--but we trust the smile +was that of a Christian--on hearing our respected and respectable +contemporary doling out the mistake of a child, with such an air +of solemn interest in the reputation of a gentleman whose name and +character are beyond the reach of either calumny or envy. The harmless +misconception on which, by a chance expression, the silly rumor was +founded, is known to all the friends of the gentleman in question. He +himself, however, being one of those deep-feeling Christians, who are +not insensible to the means which often resorted to, for wise purposes, +in order to try us and prove our faith, is far from looking on the +mistake--as, in the weakness of their own strength, many would as a +thing to be despised and contemned. No; he receives it as a warning, +it may be for him to be more preciously alive to his privileges, and to +take care when he stands lest he might fall. Altogether, therefore, he +receives this thing as an evidence that he is cared for, and that it is +his duty to look upon it as an awakening of his, perhaps, too worldly +and forgetful spirit, to higher and better duties; and if so, then will +it prove a blessing unto him, and will not have been given in vain. We +would not, therefore, be outdone even in charity by our good friend of +the _True Blue_; and we remember that when about six months ago, he was +said to have been found in a state scarcely compatible with sobriety, +in the channel of Castle Cumber main street, opposite the office door of +the Equivocal, on his way home from an Orange lodge, we not only aided +him, as was our duty, but we placed the circumstance in its proper +light--a mere giddiness in the head, accompanied by a total prostration +of physical strength, to both of which even the most temperate, and +sober, are occasionally liable. The defect of speech, accompanied by +a strong tendency to lethargy, we accounted for at the time, by a +transient cessation or paralysis of the tongue, and a congestion of +blood on the brain, all of which frequently attack persons of the +soberest habits. Others might have said it was intoxication, or +drunkenness, and so might his character have been injured; but when his +incapacity to stand was placed upon its proper footing, the matter was +made perfectly clear, and there was, consequently, no doubt about it. So +easy is it to distort a circumstance, that is harmless and indifferent +in itself, into a grievous fault, especially where there is not +Christian charity to throw a cloak over it.' + +“'Such is a specimen of two paragraphs--one from each paper; and +considering that the subject was a delicate one, and involving; the +character of a professor, we think it was as delicately handled on both +sides as possible. I am told it is to be publicly alluded to to-morrow +in the congregation of which the subject of it, a Mr. Solomon M'Slime, +an attorney, is an elder--a circumstance which plainly accounts for the +heading of the paragraph in the True Blue. + +“There were, however, about a week or ten days ago, a couple of +paragraphs in the _True Blue_--which, by the way, is Mr. M'Clutchy's +favorite paper--of a very painful description. There is a highly +respectable man here, named M'Loughlin--and you will please to observe, +my dear Spinageberd, that this M'Loughlin is respected and well spoken +of by every class and party; remember that, I say. This man is a partner +with a young fellow named Harman, who is also very popular with parties. +Harman, it seems, was present at some scene up in the mountains, where +M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, as they are called, from their ferocity when +on duty, had gone to take a man suspected for murder. At all events, one +of the blood-hounds in the straggle--for they were all armed, as they +usually are--lost his life by the discharge--said to be accidental, +but sworn to be otherwise, before Mr. Magistrate M'Clutchy--of a loaded +carbine. He was to have been tried at the assizes which have just +terminated; but his trial has been postponed until the next assizes, +it is said for want of sufficient evidence. Be this as it may, it seems +that M'Loughlin's beautiful daughter was soon to have been married +to her father's young partner, now in prison. The unfortunate girl, +however, manifested the frailty of her sex: for while her former lover +was led to suppose that he possessed all the fulness of her affection, +she was literally carrying on a private and guilty intrigue with one of +the worst looking scoundrels that ever disgraced humanity--I mean Phil, +as he is called, only son to Valentine M'Clutchy--who, by the way, goes +among the people under the sobriquet of Val the Vulture. I need not say +what the effects of this young woman's dishonor have produced upon +her family. Young M'Clutchy was seen by several to go into her own +apartment, and was actually found striving to conceal himself there by +his father's blood-hounds who had received information that M'Loughlin +had fire-arms in his house. The consequence is, that the girl's +reputation is gone for ever. 'Tis true the verdict against her is not +unanimous. There is a woman, named Poll Doolin, mentioned, who bears a +most unrelenting enmity against M'Loughlin and his family, for having +transported one of her sons. She is said to have been the go-between +on this occasion, and that the whole thing is a cowardly and diabolical +plot between this Phil--whom the girl, it seems, refused to marry +before--and herself. I don't know how this may be; but the damning fact +of this ugly scoundrel having been seen to go into her room, with her +own consent, and being found there, attempting to conceal himself, by +his father's cavalry, overweighs, in my opinion, anything that can +be said in her favor. As it is, the family are to be pitied, and she +herself, it seems, is confined to her bed with either nervous or brain +fever, I don't know which--but the disclosure of the intrigue has +had such an effect upon her mind, that it is scarcely thought she will +recover it. Every one who knew her is astonished at it; and what adds to +the distress of her and her family is, that Harman, whose cousin was +an eye-witness to the fact of her receiving Phil into her chamber, has +written both to her and them, and that henceforth he renounces her for +ever. + +“There have also been strong rumors touching the insolvency of the firm +of M'Loughlin and Harman, and, it is to be feared, that this untoward +exposure will injure them even in a worldly point of view. In the _True +Blue_ there are two paragraphs of the following stamp--paragraphs that +certainly deserve to get the ears of those who either wrote or published +them cropped off their heads. + +“Unprecedented Feat of Gallantry and Courage! + +“Public rumor has already exonerated us from the delicacy which would +otherwise have restrained our pen from alluding to a feat of gallantry +and courage performed by a young gentleman who does not live a hundred +miles from Constitution Cottage. It seems that a _laison_ once subsisted +between him and a young lady of great personal attractions, and, at +that time, supposed (erroneously) to be entitled to a handsome dowry, +considering that the fair creature worships at the Mallet Office, and +bestows, in the exercise of her usual devotion, some soft blows upon +her fair, but not insensible bosom. Our readers will understand us. The +young gentleman in question, however, hearing that the lady had been +recently betrothed to a partner of her father's, prompted by that spirit +of gallant mischief or dare-devilism for which he is so remarkable, did, +under very dangerous circumstances, actually renew his intimacy, and +had several stolen, and, consequently, sweet meetings with the charming +creature. This, however, reached his father's ears, who, on proper +information, despatched a troop of his own cavalry to bring the young +gentleman home--and so accurate was the intelligence received, that, +on reaching her father's house, they went directly to the young lady's +chamber, from which they led out the object of their search, after +several vain but resolute attempts to exclude them from his bower +of love. This unfortunate discovery has occasioned a great deal of +embarrassment in the family, and broken up the lady's intended marriage +with her father's partner. But what strikes us, is the daring courage of +the hero who thus gallantly risked life and limb, rather than that the +lady of his love should pine in vain. Except Leander's, of old, we know +of no such feat of love and gallantry in these degenerate days.' + +“This other is equally malignant and vindictive + +“'Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. + +“'We shall be very happy, indeed exceedingly so, to contradict +an unpleasing rumor, affecting the solvency of our respected +fellow-townsmen, Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. We. do not ourselves +give any credit to such rumors; but how strange, by the way, that such +an expression should drop from our pen on such a subject? No, we +believe them to be perfectly solvent; or, if we err in supposing so, we +certainly err in the company of those on whose opinions, we, in general, +are disposed to rely. We are inclined to believe, and we think, that for +the credit of so respectable a firm, it is our duty to state it, that +the rumor affecting their solvency has been mistaken for another of an +almost equally painful character connected with domestic life, which, +by the unhappy attachment of ****** to a young gentleman of a different +creed, and proverbially loyal principles, has thrown the whole family +into confusion and distress.' + +“These, my dear Spinageberd, are the two paragraphs, literally +transcribed, from the True Blue, and I do not think it necessary to +add any comment to them. On tomorrow I have resolved to attend the +Dissenting Chapel, a place of worship where I have never yet been, and +I am anxious, at all events, to see what the distinctions are between +their mode of worship and that of the Church of Englandism. Besides, +to admit the truth, I am also anxious to see how this Solomon--this +religious attorney, whose person I well know--will deport himself under +circumstances which assuredly would test the firmness of most men, +unless strongly and graciously sustained, as they say themselves.” + + + + +CHAPTER XVI.--Solomon in Trouble + +--Is Publicly Prayed for--His Gracious Deliverance, and Triumph--An +Orangeman's View of Protestantism and of Popery--Phil's Discretion and +Valor. + + +“Monday, half-past eleven o'clock. + +“My Dear Spinageberd: + +“In pursuance of my intention, I attended the Castle Cumber +Meeting-house yesterday, and must confess that I very much admire the +earnest and unassuming simplicity of the dissenting ritual. They have +neither the epileptical rant nor goatish impulses of the Methodists, +nor the drowsy uniformity from which not all the solemn beauty of the +service can redeem the Liturgy of the Church of England. In singing, the +whole congregation generally take a part--a circumstance which, however +it may impress their worship with a proof of sincerity, certainly adds +nothing to its melody. + +“The paragraph of 'Susanna and the' Elder' having taken wind, little +Solomon, as they call him, attended his usual seat, with a most unusual +manifestation of grace and unction beaming from his countenance. He +was there early; and before the service commenced he sat with his hands +locked in each other, their palms up, as was natural, but his eyes cast +down, in peaceful self-communion, as was evident from the divine and +ecstatic smile with which, from time to time, he cast up his enraptured +eyes to heaven, and sighed--sighed with an excess of happiness which was +vouchsafed to but few, or, perhaps, for those depraved and uncharitable +sinners who had sent abroad such an ungodly scandal against a champion +of the faith. At all events, at the commencement of the service, the +minister--a rather jolly-looking man, with a good round belly apparently +well lined--read out of a written paper, the following short address to +those present:-- + +“'The prayers of this congregation are requested for one of its most +active and useful members, who is an elder thereof. They are requested +to enable him to fight the good fight, under the sore trials of a wicked +world which have come upon him in the shape of scandal. But inasmuch as +these dispensations are dealt out to us often for our soul's good and +ultimate comfort, the individual in question doth not wish you to pray +for a cessation of this, he trusts, benign punishment. He receives it +as a token--a manifestation that out of the great congregation of the +faithful that inherit the church, he--an erring individual--a frail +unit, is not neglected nor his spiritual concerns overlooked. He +therefore doth not wish you to say, “cease Lord, this evil unto this +man,” but yea, rather to beseech, that if it be for his good, it may +be multiplied unto him, and that he may feel it is good for him to be +afflicted. Pray, therefore, that he may be purged by this tribulation, +and that like those who were placed in the furnace, nine times heated, +he may come out without a hair of his head singed--unhurt and rejoicing, +ready again to fight the good fight, with much shouting, the rattling of +chariots, and the noise of triumph and victory.' + +“During the perusal of this all eyes were turned upon Solomon, whose +face was now perfectly seraphic, and his soul wrapped up into the ninth +heaven. Of those around him it was quite clear that he was altogether +incognizant. His eyelids were down as before, but the smile on his face +now was a perfect glory; it was unbroken, and the upturning of the +eyes proceeded from, and could be, nothing less than a glimpse of that +happiness which no other eye ever had seen but that of Solomon's at +that moment, and which, it was equally certain, no heart but his could +conceive. When it was concluded the psalm commenced, and if there had +been any doubt before, there could be none now that his triumph was +great, and the victory over the world and his enemies obtained, whilst a +fresh accession of grace was added to that which had been vouchsafed him +before. He led the psalm now with a fervor of spirit and fulness of lung +which had never been heard in the chapel before; nay, he moved both head +and foot to the time, as if he had only to wish it, and he could ascend +at once to heaven. This, indeed, was a victory, this was a moment of +rejoicing--here was the Christian soldier rattling home in his triumphal +chariot, to the sound of the trumpet, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer. + +“When the service was over he shook hands with as many of his friends as +he could, exclaiming, 'oh, what a blessed day has this been to me! what +a time of rejoicing; indeed it is good to be tried. Truly the sources of +comfort were opened to my soul on this day more abundantly than I dared +to hope for--I feel my privileges more strongly, and more of the new man +within me--I am sustained and comforted, and feel that it was good for +me to be here this day--I did not hope for this, but it was graciously +granted to me, notwithstanding. How good, how heavenly a thing it is to +be called upon to suffer, especially when we are able to do so in faith +and obedience. May He be praised for all. Amen! Amen!' + +“Now, my dear friend, who will say, after all this, that the stage is +the great school for actors? who ever saw on the boards of a theatre a +more finished performance than that of Solomon M'Slime? It so happens +that I am acquainted with the whole circumstances, and, consequently, +can fully appreciate his talents. In the mean time I am paying a visit +of business to M'Clutchy to-morrow, that I may have an opportunity of +a nearer inspection into his character. He is said to be an able, deep, +vindictive, and rapacious man--cowardly, but cruel--treacherous, but +plausible; and without the slightest remorse of conscience to restrain +him from the accomplishment of any purpose, no matter how flagitious. +And, yet, the cure for all this, in the eyes of his own party, is his +boundless loyalty, and his thorough Protestantism. No wonder the church +should be no longer useful or respected when she is supported only by +such Protestants as Valentine M'Clutchy, and his class.” + + +“Thursday.--At a little after ten, I waited upon this, famous agent to +the Castle Cumber property, and found him in his office, looking over an +account-book with his son. He had a bad face--black, heavy, over-hanging +eyebrows, and an upper lip that quivers and gets pale when engaged even +in earnest conversation--his forehead is low, but broad and massive, +indicating the minor accessories of intellect, together with great +acuteness and cunning; altogether he had the head and face of a felon. +For purposes which you shall know hereafter, I declined presenting Lord +Cumber's letter of introduction, which I calculated would put the +fellow on his guard, deeming it, more prudent to introduce myself as a +stranger, anxious, if I could do so conveniently, to settle somewhere +in the neighborhood. The son's back was towards me when I entered, and +until he had finished the account at which he had been engaged, which +he did by a good deal of altering and erasing, he did not deem, it worth +while to look about him even at the entrance of a stranger. Having heard +me express my intention of looking for a residence in the vicinity, he +did me the honor of one of the most comical stares I ever saw. He is a +tall fellow, about six feet, his shoulders are narrow, but round as the +curve of a pot--his neck is, at least, eighteen inches in length, on the +top of which stands a head, somewhat of a three-cornered shape, like a +country barber's wig block, only not so intelligent looking. His nose is +short, and turned up a little at the top--his squint is awful, but then, +it is peculiar to himself; for his eyes, instead of looking around them +as such eyes do, appear to keep a jealous and vigilant watch of each +other across his nose--his chin is short and retreating, and from, his +wide mouth project two immeasurable buck teeth, that lie together like +a'pair of tiles upon a dog kennel. Heavens! that a beautiful girl--as +it is said everywhere Miss M'Loughlin is, and until now proverbially +correct in her conduct and deportment--should admit such a misshapen +kraken as this into her apartment, and at night, too! After having +stared at me for some time with a great deal of cunning and a great deal +of folly in his countenance, he again began to pore over the blank pages +of his book, as if he had been working out some difficult calculation. + +“'And,' said the father, after we had been chatting for some time, 'have +you seen anything in the neighborhood that you think would suit you?' + +“'I am too much of a stranger, sir,' I replied, 'to be able to answer in +the affirmative--but I admire the country and the scenery, both of +which in this immediate neighborhood, are extremely beautiful and +interesting.' + +“'They are so,' he replied, 'and the country is a fine one, certainly.' + +“'Ay,' said Phil, 'only for these cursed Papists.' + +“As he spoke he looked at me very significantly, and drew three of his +yellow fingers across his chin, but added nothing more. This, by the +way, he did half a dozen times, and, on mentioning the circumstance, it +has been suggested to me that it must have been the sign by which one +Orangeman makes himself known to another. + +“'The Papists,' I replied, 'do not enter into any objection of mine +against a residence in the neighborhood; but, as you, Mr. M'Clutchy, as +agent of this fine property, must be well acquainted with the state +and circumstances of the country, you would really confer a favor by +enabling me, as a stranger, to form correct impressions of the place and +people.' + +“'Then,' said he, 'in the first place allow me to ask what are your +politics? As an Englishman, which I perceive you are by your accent--I +take it for granted that you are a Protestant.' + +“'I am a Protestant, certainly,' I replied, 'and a Church of England +one.' + +“'Ay, but that's not enough,' said Phil, 'that won't do, my good sir; +d--n my honor if it would be worth a fig in this country.' + +“'I am very ignorant of Irish politics, I admit,' said I, 'but, I trust, +I am in good hands for the receipt of sound information on the subject.' + +“'No, no,' continued Phil, 'that's nothing--to be a mere Church of +England man, or a Church of Ireland man either, would never do here, I +tell you. Upon my honor, but that's doctrine.' + +“'Well, but what would do,' I inquired; for I certainly felt a good deal +of curiosity to know what he was coming to. + +“'The great principle here,' said the son, 'is to hate and keep down the +Papists, and you can't do that properly unless you're an Orangeman. Hate +and keep down the Papists, that's the true religion, I pledge you my +honor and reputation it is.' + +“'You put the principle too strong, and rather naked, Phil,' observed +the father; 'but the truth is, sir,' he added, turning to me, 'that you +may perceive that fine spirit of Protestant enthusiasm in the young man, +which is just now so much wanted in, and so beneficial to the country +and the government. We must, sir, make allowance for this in the +high-spirited and young, and ardent; but, still, after deducting a +little for zeal and enthusiasm, he has expressed nothing but truth--with +the exception, indeed, that we are not bound to hate them, Phil; on the +contrary, we are bound to love our enemies.' + +“'Beggingyour pardon, father, I say we are bound to hate them.' + +“'Why, so, sir, may I ask,' said I. + +“'Why so--why because--because--they--because as--aren't they Papists, +and is not that sufficient--and, again, here's another reason still +stronger, aren't we Orangemen? Now, sir, did you, or any one, even hear +of such a thing as a good, sound Orangeman loving a Papist--a bloody +Papist. My word and honor, but that's good!' + +“'The truth is,' said the father, 'that the turbulence of their +principles has the country almost ripe for insurrection. I have myself +received above half a dozen notices, and my son there, as many; some +threatening life, others property, and I suppose the result will be, +that I must reside for safety in the metropolis. My house is this moment +in a state of barricade--look at my windows, literally checkered with +stancheon bars--and as for arms, let me see, we have six blunderbusses, +eight cases of pistols, four muskets, two carbines, with a variety of +side arms, amounting to a couple of dozen. Such, sir, is the state of +the country, owing, certainly, as my son says, to the spirit of Popery, +and to the fact of my discharging my duty toward Lord Cumber with +fidelity and firmness! + +“'In that case,' I observed, 'there is little to induce any man +possessing some property to reside here.' + +“'Certainly nothing,' he replied, 'but a great many inducements to get +out of it.' + +“'Does Lord Cumber ever visit his property here?' I asked. + +“'He has too much sense,' returned the agent; 'but now that parliament +is dissolved, he will come over to the Election. We must return either +him or his brother the Hon. Dick Topertoe, who, I understand, has no +fixed principles whatsoever.' + +“'But why return such a man? Why not put up and support one of your own +way of thinking?' + +“'Why, because in the first place, we must keep out Hartley, who is +a liberal, and also an advocate for emancipating Popery; and, in the +second, if it be bad to have no principles, like Topertoe, it is worse +to have bad ones like Hartley. He'll do to stop a gap until we get +better, and then unless he comes round, we'll send him adrift.' + +“'Is he in Ireland? I mean does he reside in the country?' + +“'Not he, sir; it seems he's a wayward devil, very different from the +rest of the family--and with none of the dash and spirit of the Topertoe +blood in him.' + +“'In that case, he will be no great loss; but Mr. M'Clutchy, +notwithstanding all you have said I am so much charmed with the beauty +of the country, that I would gladly settle in the neighborhood, if I +could procure a suitable residence, together with a good large farm, +which I would rent. Is there anything in that way vacant on the estate?' + +“'At present, sir, nothing; but it is possible there may be, and if you +should remain in the country, I shall feel great pleasure in acquainting +you.' + +“'Because I was told,' I continued, 'that there are two large farms, +either of which would suit me admirably; but I dare say I have been +misinformed. I allude to Mr. M'Loughlin's and Herman's holdings, which I +understand are out of lease.' + +“'Yes,' said he, sighing, 'I am sorry for those men; but the truth is, +my good sir, that in this affair I am not a free agent. Lord Cumber, +in consequence of some very accurate information that reached him, has +determined to put them out of their holdings, now that their leases +have expired. I am, you know, but his agent, and cannot set up my will +against his.' + +“'But could you not take their part?--could you not remonstrate with +him, and set him right, rather than see injustice done to innocent men?' + +“'You surely cannot imagine, sir, that I have not done so. Earnestly, +indeed, have I begged of him to reconsider his orders, and to withdraw +them; but like all the Topertoes, he is as obstinate as a mule. The +consequence is, however, that whilst the whole blame of the transaction +is really his, the odium will fall upon me, as it always does.' + +“Here Phil, the son, who had been for the last few minutes paring away +the pen with his knife, gave a sudden yelp, not unlike what a hound +would utter when he gets an unexpected cut of the whip. It was certainly +meant for a laugh, as I could perceive by the frightful grin which drew +back his lips I from his yellow projecting tusks, as his face appeared +to me in the looking-glass--a fact which he seemed to forget. + +“'Then, Mr. M'Clutchy, the farms of these men, are they disposed of?' + +“'They are disposed of; and, indeed, in any event, I could not, in +justice to the landlord's interests, receive the offers which M'Loughlin +and Harman made me. My son here, who, as under agent feels it necessary +to reside on the property, and who is about to take unto himself a wife +besides, has made me a very liberal offer for M'Loughlin's holding--one, +indeed, which I did not feel myself at liberty to refuse. Mr. M'Slime, +our respected law agent, I also considered a very proper tenant for +Harman's; and that matter is also closed--by which means I secured two +respectable, safe, and unobjectionable tenants, on whose votes, at all +events, we can reckon, which was more than we could do with the other +two--both of whom had expressed their determination to vote in favor of +Hartley.' + +“'What are the religious opinions of those men, Mr. M'Clutchy?' + +“'M'Loughlin is a Papist--' + +“'But Harman is worse,' interrupted Phil; 'for he's a Protestant, and no +Orangeman.' + +“'I thought,' I replied, 'that nothing could be so bad as a Papist, much +less worse.' + +“'Oh yes,' said Phil, 'that's worse; because one always knows that +a Papist's a Papist--but when you find a Protestant who is not an +Orangeman, on my sacred honor, you don't know what to make of him. The +Papists are all cowards, too.' + +“'Then,' said I, 'you have the less difficulty in keeping them down.' + +“'Upon my soul and honor, sir, you don't know how a naked Papist will +run from a gun and bayonet. I have often seen it.' + +“At this moment a tap came to the door, and a servant man, in Orange +livery, announced a gentleman to see Mr. Philip M'Clutchy. I rose to +take my departure; but Phil insisted I should stop. + +“'Don't go, sir,' said he; 'I have something to propose to you by and +by.' I accordingly took my seat. + +“When the gentleman entered, he looked about, and selecting Phil, bowed +to him, and then to us. + +“'Ah, Mr. Hartley! how do you do?' said Val, shaking hands with him; +'and how is your cousin, whom we hope to have the pleasure of beating +soon?--ha, ha, ha. Take a seat.' + +“'Thank you,' said the other; 'but the fact is, that time's just now +precious, and I wish to have a few words with Mr. Philip here.' + +“'What is it, Hartley? How are you, Hartley? I'm glad to see you.' + +“'Quite well, Phil; but if you have no objection, I would rather speak +to you in another room. It's a matter of some importance, and of some +delicacy, too.' + +“'Oh, curse the delicacy, man; out with it.' + +“'I really cannot, Phil, unless by ourselves.' + +“They both then withdrew to the back parlor, where, after a period of +about ten minutes, Phil came rushing in with a face on him, and in a +state of trepidation utterly indescribable; Hartley, on the other hand, +cool and serious, following him. + +“'Phil,' said he, 'think of what you are about to do. Don't exclude +yourself hereafter from the rank and privileges of a gentleman. +Pause, if you respect yourself, and regard your reputation as a man of +courage.' + +“'D----d fine talk in you--who--who's a fire-eater, Hartley. What do +you think, father--?' Hartley put, or rather attempted to put his hand +across his mouth, to prevent his cowardly and degrading communication; +but in vain. 'What do you think, father,' he continued, 'but there's +that cowardly scoundrel, young M'Loughlin, has sent me a challenge? +Isn't the country come to a pretty pass, when a Papist durst do such a +thing?' + +“'Why not a Papist?' said Hartley. 'Has not a Papist flesh, and blood, +and bones, like another man? Is a Papist to be insensible to insult? Is +he to sit down tamely and meanly under disgrace and injury? Has he no +soul to feel the dignity of just resentment? Is he not to defend his +sister, when her character has been basely and treacherously ruined? Is +he to see her stretched on her death-bed, by your villainy, and not to +avenge her? By heavens, if, under the circumstances of the provocation +which you gave him, and his whole family, he would be as mean and +cowardly a poltroon as I find you to be--if he suffered--' + +“'Do you call me a poltroon?' said Phil, so shivering and pale, that his +voice betrayed his cowardice. + +“'Yes,' said the other, 'as arrant a poltroon as ever I met. I tell +you, you must either fight him, or publish a statement of your own +unparalleled disgrace. Don't think you shall get out of it.' + +“'I tell you, sir,' said Val, 'that he shall not fight him. I would not +suffer a son of mine to put himself on a level with such a person as +young M'Loughlin.' + +“'On a level with him he never will be, for no earthly advantage could +raise him to it; but pray, Mr. M'Clutchy, who are you?' + +“'Val's brow fell, and his lip paled and quivered, as the fine young +fellow looked him steadily in the face. + +“'Never mind him, father,' said Phil 'you know he's a fire-eater.' + +“'There is no use in altercations of this sort,' replied Val, calmly. +'As for young M'Loughlin, or old M'Loughlin, if they think themselves +injured, they have the laws of the land to appeal to for redress. As for +us, we will fight them with other weapons besides pistols and firearms.' + +“'D---- my honor,' said, Phil, 'if I'd stoop to fight any Papist. Aren't +they all rebels? And what gentleman would fight a rebel?' + +“'Honor!' exclaimed Hartley; 'don't profane that sacred word--I can have +no more patience with such a craven-hearted rascal, who could stoop to +such base revenge against the unsullied reputation of a virtuous and +admirable girl, because she spurned your scoundrelly addresses.' + +“'He never paid his addresses to her,' said Val;--'never.' + +“'No I didn't,' said Phil. 'At any rate I never had any notion of +marrying her.' + +“'You are a dastardly liar, sir,' responded Hartley. 'You know you had. +How can your father and you look each other in the face, when you say +so?' + +“'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater: so you may say what you +like.' + +“'Didn't your father, in your name, propose for her upon some former +occasion, in the fair of Castle Cumber, and he remembers the answer he +got.' + +“'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater; that's all I have to say to +you.' + +“'And now, having ruined her reputation by a base and cowardly plot +concocted with a wicked old woman, who would blast the whole family if +she could, because M'Loughlin transported her felon son; you, now, +like a paltry clown as you are, skulk out of the consequences of your +treachery, and refuse to give satisfaction for the diabolical injury you +have inflicted on the whole family.' + +“'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater.' + +“'You forget,' said Val, 'that I am a magistrate, and what the +consequences may be to yourself for carrying a hostile message.' + +“'Ah,' said Hartley, 'you are a magistrate, and shame on the government +that can stoop to the degradation of raising such rascals as you are to +become dispensers of justice; it is you and the like of you, that are a +curse to the country. As for you, Phil M'Clutchy, I now know, and always +suspected, the stuff you are made of. You are a disgrace to the very +Orangemen you associate with; for they are, in general, brave fellows, +although too often cruel and oppressive when hunted on and stimulated by +such as you and your rascally upstart of a father.' + +“'Go on,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.' + +“'I now leave you both,' continued the young Hotspur, with a blazing +eye and flushed cheek, 'with the greatest portion of scorn and contempt +which one man can bestow upon another.' + +“'Go off,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.' + +“'Phil,' said the father, 'send for M'Murt, and let him get the +ejectments from M'Slime--we shall not, at all events, be insulted and +bearded by Papists, or their emissaries, so long as I can clear one of +them off the estate.' + +“'But, good God, Mr. M'Clutchy, surely these other Papists you speak of, +have not participated in the offences, if such they are, of M'Loughlin +and Harman.' + +“'Ay, but they're all of the same kidney,' said Phil; 'they hate us +because we keep them down.' + +“'And what can be more natural than that?' I observed; 'just reverse the +matter--suppose they were in your place, and kept you down, would you +love them for it?' + +“'Why, what kind of talk is that,' said Phil, 'they keep us down! Are +they not rebels?' + +“'You observed,' I replied, getting tired of this sickening and +senseless bigotry, 'that you wished to make a proposal of some kind to +me before I went.' + +“'Yes,' he replied, 'I wished, if it be a thing that you remain in the +neighborhood, to propose that you should become an Orangeman, and join +my father's lodge. You say you want a farm on the estate; now, if +you do, take my advice and become an Orangeman; you will then have a +stronger claim, for my father always gives them the preference.' + +“'By Lord Cumber's desire, Phil; but I shall be very happy, indeed, +sir,' proceeded Val, 'that is, provided you get an introduction--for, at +present, you will pardon me for saying we are strangers.' + +“'I should first wish to witness the proceedings of an Orange Lodge,' +I said, 'but I suppose that, of course, is impossible, unless to the +initiated.' + +“'Certainly, of course,' said M'Clutchy. + +“'But, father,' said Phil, 'couldn't we admit him after the business of +the lodge is concluded.' + +“'It is not often done,' replied the father; 'but it sometimes +is--however, we shall have the pleasure, Mr. Easel--(I forgot to say +that I had sent in my card, so that he knew my name),--we shall have the +pleasure of a better acquaintance, I trust.' + +“'I tell you what,' said Phil, leaping off his chair, 'd---n my honor, +but I was wrong to let young Hartley go without a thrashing. The +cowardly scoundrel was exceedingly insulting.' + +“'No, no, Phil,' said the father; 'you acted with admirable coolness and +prudence.' + +“'I tell you I ought to have kicked the rascal out,' said Phil, getting +into a passion; 'I'll follow him and teach the impudent vagabond a +lesson he wants.' + +“He seized his hat, and buttoned up his coat, as if for combat, whilst +he spoke. + +“'Phil, be quiet,' said his father, rising up and putting his arms about +him; 'be quiet now. There will be no taming him down, if his spirit +gets up,' said Val, addressing me; 'for all our sakes, Phil, keep quiet +and sit down. Good heaven! the strength of him! Phil, keep quiet, I say, +you shan't go after him.' + +“'Let me go,' shouted the other; 'let me go, I say. I will smash him +to atoms. Upon my honor and reputation, he shall not escape me this +way--I'll send him home a hoop--a triangle--a zoologist. I'll beat him +into mustard, the cowardly scoundrel! And only you were a magistrate, +father, I would have done it before you. Let me go, I say--the M'Clutchy +blood is up in me! Father, you're a scoundrel if you hold me! You +know what a lion I am--what a raging lion, when roused. Hands off, +M'Clutchy, I say, when you know I'm a thunderbolt.' + +“The tugging and pulling that took place here between the father and son +were extraordinary, and I could not in common decency decline assisting +the latter to hold him in. I consequently lent him my aid seriously; but +this only made things worse:--the more he was held, the more violent and +outrageous he became. He foamed at the mouth--stormed--swore--and tore +about with such vehemence, that I really began to think the fellow was a +dull flint, which produced, fire slowly, but that there was fire in +him. The struggle still proceeded, and we pulled and dragged each other +through every part of the house:--chairs, and tables, and office-stools +were all overturned--and Phil's cry was still for war. + +“It's all to no purpose,' he shouted--'I'll not leave an unbroken bone +in that scoundrel Hartley's body.' + +“'I know you wouldn't, if you got at him,' said Val. 'He would certainly +be the death of him,' he added aside tome; 'he would give him some fatal +blow, and that's what I'm afraid of.' + +“Phil was now perfectly furious--in fact he resembled a drunken man, and +might have passed for such. + +“'Hartley, you scoundrel, where are you, till I make mummy of you?' he +shouted. + +“'Here I am,' replied Hartley, entering' the room, walking up to him, +and looking him sternly in the face--'here I am--what's your will with +me?' + +“So comic a paralysis was, perhaps, never witnessed. Phil stood +motionless, helpless, speechless. The white cowardly froth rose to +his lips, his color became ashy, his jaw fell, he shook, shrunk into +himself, and gasped for breath--his eyes became hollow, his squint +deepened, and such was his utter prostration of strength, that his very +tongue lolled out with weakness, like that of a newly dropped calf, when +attempting to stand for the first time. At length he got out-- + +“'Hold! I believe, I'll restrain myself; but only my father's a +magistrate------' + +“'Your father's a scoundrel, and you are another,' said Hartley; 'and +here's my respect for you.' + +“Whilst speaking, he caught Phil by the nose with one hand, and also by +the collar of his coat with the other, and in this position led him, in +a most comical way, round the room, after which he turned him about, +and inflicted a few vigorous kicks upon a part of him which must be +nameless. + +“'I am not sorry,' said he, 'that I forgot my note-case in the other +room, as it has given me an opportunity of taming a raging lion so +easily.' + +“'Goon,' said Phil, whose language, as well as valor, was fairly +exhausted, 'it's well you're a fire-eater, and my father a magistrate, +or by my honor, I'd know how to deal with you.' + +“Such, my dear Spinageberd, is a domestic sketch of the Agent and Under +Agent of that exceedingly sapient nobleman, Lord Cumber; and if ever, +excellent landlord that he is, he should by any possible chance come +to see these lines, perhaps he might be disposed to think that an +occasional peep at his own property, and an examination into the +principles upon which it is managed, might open to him a new field of +action worth cultivating, even as an experiment not likely to end in any +injurious result to either him or it. In a day or two I shall call upon +Mr. Solomon M'Slime, with whom I am anxious to have a conversation, +as, indeed, I am with the leading characters on the property. You may +accordingly expect an occasional batch of observations from me, made +upon the spot, and fresh from my interviews with the individuals to whom +they relate.” + + + + +CHAPTER XVII.--A Moral Survey, or a Wise Man led by a Fool + +--Marks of Unjust Agency--Reflections thereon--A Mountain Water-Spout, +and Rising of a Torrent--The Insane Mother over the Graves of her +Family--Raymond's Humanity--His Rescue from Death. + + +“Friday, * * * + +“I have amused myself--you will see how appropriate the word is by and +by--since my last communication, in going over the whole Castle +Cumber estate, and noting down the traces which this irresponsible +and rapacious oppressor, aided by his constables, bailiffs, and +blood-hounds, have left behind them. When I describe the guide into +whose hands I have committed myself, I am inclined to think you will +not feel much disposed to compliment me on my discretion;--the aforesaid +guide being no other than a young fellow, named _Raymond-na-Hattha_, +which means, they tell me, Raymond of the Hats--a sobriquet very +properly bestowed on him in consequence of a habit he has of always +wearing three or four hats at a time, one within the other--a +circumstance which, joined to his extraordinary natural height and great +strength, gives him absolutely a gigantic appearance. This Raymond is +the fool of the parish; but in selecting him for my conductor, I acted +under the advice of those who knew him better than I could. There +is not, in fact, a field or farm-house, or a cottage, within a +circumference of miles, which he does not know, and where he is not +also known. He has ever since his childhood evinced a most extraordinary +fancy for game cocks--an attachment not at all surprising, when it is +known that not only was his father, Morgan Monahan, the most celebrated +breeder and handler of that courageous bird--but his mother, Poll +Doolin--married women here frequently preserve, or are called by, their +maiden names through life--who learned it from her husband, was +equally famous for this very feminine accomplishment. Poor Raymond, +notwithstanding his privation, is, however, exceedingly shrewd in many +things, especially where he can make himself understood. As he speaks, +however, in unconnected sentences, in which there is put forth no more +than one phase of the subject he alludes to, or the idea he entertains, +it is unquestionably not an easy task to understand him without an +interpreter. He is singularly fond of children--very benevolent--and +consequently feels a degree of hatred and horror at anything in the +shape of cruelty or oppression, almost beyond belief, in a person +deprived of reason. This morning he was with me by appointment, about +half-past nine, and after getting his breakfast----but no matter--the +manipulation he exhibited would have been death to a dyspeptic patient, +from sheer envy--we sallied forth to trace this man, M'Clutchy, by +the awful marks of ruin, and tyranny, and persecution; for these words +convey the principles of what he hath left, and is leaving behind him. + +“'Now, Raymond,' said I, 'as you know the country well, I shall be +guided by you. I wish to see a place called Drum Dhu. Can you conduct +me there?' + +“'Ay!' he replied with surprise; 'Why! Sure there's scarcely anybody +there now. When we go on farther, we may look up, but we'll see no +smoke, as there used to be. 'Twas there young Torly Regan died on that +day--an' her, poor Mary--but they're all gone from her--and Hugh the +eldest is in England or America--but him--the youngest--he'll never +waken--and what will the poor mother do for his white head now that she +hasn't it to look at? No, he wouldn't waken, although I brought him the +cock.' + +“'Of whom are you speaking now, Raymond?' + +“'I'll tell you two things that's the same,' he replied; 'and I'll tell +you the man that has them both.' + +“'Let me hear, Raymond.' + +“'The devil's blessin' and God's curse;--sure they're the same--ha, +ha--there now--that's one. You didn't know that--no, no: you didn't.' + +“'And who is it that has them, Raymond?' + +“'M'Clutchy--Val the Vulture; sure 'twas he did that all, and is doin' +it still. Poor Mary!--Brian will never waken;--she'll never see his eyes +again, 'tany rate--nor his white head--oh! his white head! God ought to +kill Val, and I wondher he doesn't.' + +“'Raymond, my good friend,' said I, 'if you travel at this rate, I must +give up the journey altogether.' + +“The fact is, that when excited, as he was now by the topic in question, +he gets into what is termed a sling trot, which carries him on at +about six miles an hour, without ever feeling fatigued. He immediately +slackened his pace, and looked towards me, with a consciousness of +having forgotten himself and acted wrongly. + +“'Well, no,' said he, 'I won't; but sure I hate him.' + +“'Hate whom?' + +“'M'Clutchy--and that was it; for I always do it; but I won't again, for +you couldn't keep up wid me if I spoke about him.' + +“We then turned towards the mountains; and as we went along, the +desolate impresses of the evil agent began here and there to become +visible. On the road-side there were the humble traces of two or three +cabins, whose little hearths had been extinguished, and whose walls were +levelled to the earth. The black fungus, the burdock, the nettle, and +all those offensive weeds that follow in the train of oppression and +ruin were here; and as the dreary wind stirred them into sluggish +motion, and piped its melancholy wail through these desolate little +mounds, I could not help asking myself--if those who do these things +ever think that there is a reckoning in after life, where power, and +insolence, and wealth misapplied, and rancor, and pride, and rapacity, +and persecution, and revenge, and sensuality, and gluttony, will be +placed face to face with those humble beings, on whose rights and +privileges of simple existence they have trampled with such a selfish +and exterminating tread. A host of thoughts and reflections began to +crowd upon my mind; but the subject was too painful--and after avoiding +it as well as I could, we proceeded on our little tour of observation. + +“How easy it is for the commonest observer to mark even the striking +characters that are impressed on the physical features of an estate +which is managed by care and kindness--where general happiness and +principles of active industry are diffused through the people? And, +on the other hand, do not all the depressing symbols of neglect and +mismanagement present equally obvious exponents of their operation, upon +properties like this of Castle Cumber? On this property, it is not every +tenant that is allowed to have an interest in the soil at all, since the +accession of M'Clutchy. He has succeeded in inducing the head landlord +to decline granting leases to any but those who are his political +supporters--that is, who will vote for him or his nominee at an +election; or, in other words, who will enable him to sell both their +political privileges and his own, to gratify his cupidity or ambition, +without conferring a single advantage upon themselves. From those, +therefore, who have too much honesty to prostitute their votes to his +corrupt and selfish negotiations with power, leases are withheld, in +order that they may, with more becoming and plausible oppression, be +removed from the property, and the staunch political supporter brought +in in their stead. This may be all very good policy, but it is certainly +bad humanity, and worse religion, In fact, it is the practice of that +cruel dogma, which prompts us to sacrifice the principles of others to +our own, and to deprive them of the very privilege which we ourselves +claim--that of acting according to our conscientious impressions. 'Do +unto others,' says Mr. M'Clutchy and his class, as you would not wish +that others should do unto you.' How beautifully here is the practice +of the loud and headlong supporter of the Protestant Church, and its +political ascendancy, made to harmonize with the principles of that +neglected thing called the Gospel? In fact as we went along, it was easy +to mark, on the houses and farmsteads about us, the injustice of making +this heartless distinction. The man who felt himself secure and fixed by +a vested right in the possession of his tenement, had heart and motive +to work and improve it, undepressed by the consciousness that his +improvements to-day might be trafficked on by a wicked and unjust agent +tomorrow. He knows, that in developing all the advantages and good +qualities of the soil, he is not only discharging an important duty to +himself and his landlord, but also to his children's children after him; +and the result is, that the comfort, contentment, and self-respect which +he gains by the consciousness of his security, are evident at a glance +upon himself, his house, and his holding. On the other hand, reverse +this picture, and what is the consequence? Just what is here visible. +There is a man who may be sent adrift on the shortest notice, unless +he is base enough to trade upon his principles and vote against his +conscience. What interest has he in the soil, or in the prosperity of +his landlord? If he make improvements this year, he may see the landlord +derive all the advantages of them the next; or, what is quite as likely, +he may know that some Valentine M'Clutchy may put them in his +own pocket, and keep the landlord in the dark regarding the whole +transaction. What a bounty on dishonesty and knavery in an agent is +this? How unjust to the interest of the tenant, in the first place--in +the next to that of the landlord--and, finally, how destructive to the +very nature and properties of the soil itself, which rapidly degenerates +by bad and negligent culture, and. consequently becomes impoverished +and diminished in value. All this was evident as we went along. Here was +warmth, and wealth, and independence staring us in the face; there was +negligence, desponding struggle, and decline, conscious, as it were, of +their unseemly appearance, and anxious, one would think, to shrink away +from the searching eye of observation. + +“'But here again, Raymond; what have we here? There is a fine looking +farmhouse, evidently untenanted. How is that?' + +“'Ha, ha,' replied Raymond with a bitter smile, 'ha, ha! Let them take +it, and see what Captain Whiteboy will do? He has the possession--ha, +ha--an' who'll get him to give it up? Who dare take that, or any of +Captain Whiteboy's farms? But sure it's not, much--only a coal, a +rushlight, and a prod of a pike or a baynet--but I know who ought to +have them.' + +“The house in question was considerably dilapidated. Its doors were not +visible, and its windows had all been shivered. Its smokeless chimneys, +its cold and desolate appearance, together with the still more ruinous +condition of the outhouses, added to the utter silence which prevailed +about it, and the absence of every symptom of life and motion--all told +a tale which has left many a bloody moral to the country. The slaps, +gates, and enclosures were down--the hedges broken or cut away--the +fences trampled on and levelled to the earth--and nothing seemed to +thrive--for the garden was overrun with them--but the rank weeds already +alluded to, as those which love to trace the footsteps of ruin and +desolation, in order to show, as it were, what they leave behind them. +As we advanced, other and more startling proofs of M'Clutchy came in our +way--proofs which did not consist of ruined houses, desolate villages, +or roofless-cottages--but of those unfortunate persons, whose simple +circle of domestic life--whose little cares, and struggles, and sorrows, +and affections, formed the whole round of their humble existence, +and its enjoyments, as given them by Almighty God himself. All these, +however, like the feelings and affections of the manacled slave, were +as completely overlooked by those who turned them adrift, as if in +possessing such feelings, they had invaded a right which belonged +only to their betters, and which,the same betters, by the way, seldom +exercise either in such strength or purity as those whom they despise +and oppress. Aged men we met, bent, with years, and weighed down still +more by that houseless sorrow, which is found accompanying them along +the highways of life:--through its rugged solitudes and its dreariest +paths--in the storm and in the tempest--wherever they go--in want, +nakedness, and destitution--still at their side is that houseless +sorrow--pouring into their memories and their hearts the conviction, +which is most terrible to old age, that it has no home here but the +grave--no pillow on which to forget its cares but the dust. The sight +of these wretched old men, turned out from, the little holdings that +sheltered their helplessness, to beg a morsel, through utter charity, in +the decrepitude of life, was enough to make a man wish that he had +never been born to witness such a wanton abuse of that power which +was entrusted to man for the purpose of diffusing happiness instead of +misery. All these were known to Raymond, who, as far as he could, gave +me their brief and unfortunate history. That which showed us, however, +the heartless evils of the-clearance system in its immediate operation +upon the poorer classes, was the groups of squalid females who traversed +the country, accompanied by their pale and sickly looking children, all +in a state of mendicancy, and wofully destitute of clothing. The system +in this case being to deny their husbands employment upon the property, +in order to drive them, by the strong scourge of necessity, off it, the +poor men were compelled to seek it elsewhere, whilst their sorrowing and +heart-broken families were fain to remain and beg a morsel from those +who were best acquainted with the history of their expulsion, and who, +consequently, could yield to them and their little ones a more cordial +and liberal sympathy. After thus witnessing the consequences of bad +management, and worse feeling, in the shape of houses desolate, villages +levelled, farms waste, old age homeless, and feeble mothers tottering +under their weaker children--after witnessing, I say, all this, we came +to the village called Drum Dhu, being one of those out of which these +unhappy creatures were so mercilessly driven. + +“A village of this description is, to say the least of it, no credit to +the landed proprietors of any country. It is the necessary result of a +bad system. But we know that if the landlord paid the attention which +he ought to pay, to both the rights and duties of his property, a bad +system could never be established upon it. I am far from saying, indeed, +my dear Spinageberd, there are not cases in which the landlord finds +himself in circumstances of great difficulty. Bad, unprincipled, +vindictive, and idle tenants enough there are in this country--as I am +given to understand from those who know it best--plotting scoundrels, +who, like tainted sheep, are not only corrupt themselves, but +infect others, whom they bring along with themselves to their proper +destination, the gallows. Enough and too many of these there are to be +found, who are cruel without cause, and treacherous without provocation; +and this is evident, by the criminal records of the country, from +which it is clear that it is not in general the aggrieved man who takes +justice in his own hands, but the idle profligate I speak of now. Many +indeed of all these, it is an act due to public peace and tranquility to +dislodge from any and from every estate; but at the same time, it is not +just that the many innocent should suffer as well as the guilty few. To +return, however, to the landlord. It often happens, that when portions +of his property fall out of lease, he finds it over-stocked with a swarm +of paupers, who are not his tenants at all and never were--but who in +consequence of the vices of sub-letting, have multiplied in proportion +to the rapacity and extortion of middle-men, and third-men, and +fourth-men--and though last, not least, of the political exigencies +of the landlord himself, to serve whose purposes they were laboriously +subdivided off into tattered legions of fraud, corruption, and perjury. +Having, therefore, either connived at, or encouraged the creation of +thess creatures upon his property for corrupt purposes, is he justified, +when such a change in the elective franchise has occurred as renders +them of no political importance to him, in turning them out of their +little holdings, without aid or provision of some sort, and without +reflecting besides, that they are in this, the moment of their sorest +distress, nothing else than the neglected tools and forgotten victims of +his own ambition. Or can he be surprised, after hardening them into +the iniquity of half a dozen elections, that he finds fellows in their +number who would feel no more scruples in putting a bullet into him +from behind a hedge, than they would into a dog? Verily, my dear Simon +Spinageberd, the more I look into the political and civil education +which the people of Ireland have received, I am only surprised that +property in this country rests upon so firm and secure a basis as I find +it does. + +“On arriving at Drum Dhu, the spectacle which presented itself to us was +marked, not merely by the vestiges of inhumanity and bad policy, but by +the wanton insolence of sectarian spirit and bitter party feeling. +On some of the doors had been written with chalk or charcoal, “Clear +off--to hell or Connaught!” “Down with Popery!” “M'Clutchy's cavalry +and Ballyhack wreckers for ever!” In accordance with these offensive +principles most of all the smaller cottages and cabins had been +literally wrecked and left uninhabitable, in the violence of this bad +impulse, although at the present moment they are about to be re-erected, +to bear out the hollow promises that will be necessary for the +forthcoming election. The village was indeed a miserable and frightful +scene. There it stood, between thirty and forty small and humble +habitations, from which, with the exception of about five or six, all +the inmates had been dispossessed, without any consideration for age, +sex, poverty, or sickness. Nay, I am assured that a young man was +carried out during the agonies of death, and expired in the street, +under the fury of a stormy and tempestuous day. Of those who remained, +four who are Protestants, and two whom are Catholics, have promised to +vote with M'Clutchy, who is here the great representative of Lord +Cumber and his property. If, indeed, you were now to look upon these two +miserable lines of silent and tenantless walls, most of them unroofed, +and tumbled into heaps of green ruin, that are fast melting out of +shape, for they were mostly composed of mere peat--you would surely say, +as the Eastern Vizier said in the apologue. 'God prosper Mr. Valentine +M'Clutchy!--for so long as Lord Cumber has him for an agent, he will +never want plenty of ruined villages!' My companion muttered many things +to himself, but said nothing intelligible, until he came to one of the +ruins pretty near the centre:-- + +“'Ay,' said he, 'here is the place they said he died--here before the +door--and in there is where he lay during his long sickness. The wet +thatch and the sods is lying there now. Many a time I was with him. Poor +Torley!' + +“'Of whom do you speak now, Raymond?' I asked. + +“'Come away,' he said, not noticing my question,--'come till I show +you the other place that the neighbors built privately when he was +dying--the father I mean--ay, and the other wid the white head, him that +wouldn't waken--come.' + +“I followed him, for truth to tell, I was sick at heart of all that I +had witnessed that morning, and now felt anxious, if I could, to relieve +my imagination of this melancholy imagery and its causes altogether. +He went farther up towards the higher mountains, in rather a slanting +direction, but not immediately into their darkest recesses, and after a +walk of about two miles more, he stopped at the scattered turf walls of +what must once have been a cold, damp, and most comfortless cabin. + +“'There,' said he, I saw it all; 'twas the blood-hounds. He died, and +her white-headed boy died; him, you know, that wouldn't waken--there +is where they both died; and see here'--there was at this moment a most +revolting expression of ferocious triumph in his eye as he spoke--'see, +here the blood-hound dropped, for the bullet went through him!--Ha, ha, +that's one; the three dead--the three dead! Come now, come, come.' He +then seemed much changed, for he shuddered as he spoke, and after +a little time, much to my astonishment, a spirit of tenderness and +humanity settled on his face, his eyes filled with tears, and he +exclaimed, 'Poor Mary! they're all gone, and she will never see his +white head again; and his eyes won't open any more; no, they're all +gone, all gone: oh! come away!' + +“I had heard as much of this brutal tragedy as made his allusions barely +intelligible, but on attempting to gain any further information from +him, he relapsed, as he generally did, into his usual abruptness of +manner. He now passed down towards the cultivated country, at a pace +which I was once more obliged to request him to moderate. + +“'Well,' said he, 'if you don't care, I needn't, for we'll have it--I +know by the roarin' of the river and by the look of the mountains there +above.' + +“'What shall we have, Raymond?' I inquired. + +“'No matther,' said he, rather to himself than to me, 'we can cross the +stick.* But I'll show you the place, for I was there at the time, and +his coffin was on the top of his father's. Ha, ha, I liked that, and +they all cried but Mary, and she laughed and sung, and clapped her hands +when the clay was makin' a noise upon them, and then the people cried +more. I cried for him in the little coffin, for I loved him--I wondher +God doesn't kill M'Clutchy--the curse o' God, and the blessin' o' the +devil on him! Ha, ha, there's one now: let him take it.' + + * In mountain rivers a “stick,” or plank, is frequently a + substitute for a bridge. + +“We still proceeded at a brisk pace for about a mile and a half, +leaving the dark and savage hills behind us, when Raymond turning about, +directed my attention to the mountains. These were overhung by masses +of black clouds, that were all charged with rain and the elements of +a tempest. From one of these depended a phenomenon which I had never +witnessed before--I mean a water spout, wavering in its black and +terrible beauty over this savage scenery, thus adding its gloomy +grandeur to the sublimity of the thunder-storm, which now deepened, +peal after peal, among the mountains. To such as are unacquainted with +mountain scenery, and have never witnessed an inland water spout, it +is only necessary to say, that it resembles a long inverted cone, that +hangs from a bank of clouds whose blackness is impenetrable. It appears +immovable at the upper part, where it joins the clouds; but, as it +gradually tapers to a long and delicate point, it waves to and fro with +a beautiful and gentle motion, which blends a sense of grace with the +very terror it excites. It seldom lasts more than a few minutes, for, +as soon as the clouds are dispersed by the thunder it disappears so +quickly, that, having once taken your eye off it when it begins to +diminish, it is gone before you can catch it again--a fact which adds +something of a wild and supernatural character to its life-like motion +and appearance. The storm in which we saw it, was altogether confined +to the mountains, where it raged for a long time, evidently pouring down +deluges of rain, whilst on the hill side which we traversed, there was +nothing but calmness and sunshine. + +“'It will be before us,' said Raymond, pointing to a dry torrent bed +close beside us; 'whisht, here it is---ha, ha, I like that--see it, see +it!' + +“I looked in the direction of his hand, and was entranced in a kind of +wild and novel delight, by witnessing a large bursting body of water, +something between a dark and yellow hue, tumbling down the bed of the +river, with a roaring noise and impetuosity of which I had never formed +any conception before. From the spot we stood on, up to its formation +among the mountains, the river was literally a furious mountain torrent, +foaming over its very banks, whilst from the same place down to the +cultivated country it was almost dry, with merely an odd pool, connected +here and there by a stream too shallow to cover the round worn stones in +its channel. So rapid, and, indeed dangerous, is the rise of a mountain +flood, that many a life of man and beast have fallen victims to the +fatal speed of its progress. Raymond now bent his steps over to +the left, and, in a few minutes, we entered a graveyard, so closely +surrounded by majestic whitethorns, that it came upon me by surprise. + +“'Whisht,' said he, 'she's often here--behind this ould chapel. For 'tis +there they are, the two big coffins and the little one--but I liked the +little one best.' + +“He conducted me to an old mullioned window in the gable, through which +a single glance discovered to me the female of whose insanity, and the +dreadful cause of it, I had before heard. Whilst pointing her out to me, +he laid his hand upon my shoulder, and, heavy as it was, I could feel +the more distinctly by its vibrations that he trembled; and, on looking +into his face I perceived that he had got deadly pale, and that the same +spirit of humanity and compassion, to which I have alluded, had returned +to it once more. There was not reason in his face, to be sure, but there +certainly was an expression there, trembling, and mild, and beautiful, +as is the light of the morning star, before the glory of the sun has +unveiled itself in heaven. To Raymond's mind that early herald had +indeed come, but that was all--to him had never arisen the light of +perfect day. + +“'There she is,' said he, 'look at her, but don't spake.' + +“I looked at her with deep and melancholy interest. She sat on a broken +tombstone that lay beside the grave of those in whom her whole happiness +in this life had centered. Her dress was wofully neglected, her hair +loose, that is, it escaped from her cap, her white bosom was bare, and +her feet without shoe or stocking. I could easily perceive, that great +as her privations had been, God had now, perhaps in mercy, taken +away her consciousness of them, for she often smiled whilst talking +to herself, and occasionally seemed to feel that fulness of happiness +which, whether real or not, appears so frequently in the insane. +At length she stooped down, and kissed the clay of their graves, +exclaiming-- + +“'There is something here that I love; but nobody will tell me what +it is--no, not one. No matter, I know I love something--I know I love +somebody--somebody--and they love me--but now will no one tell me where +they are? Wouldn't Hugh come to me if I called him? but sure I did, and +he won't come--and Torley, too, won't come, and my own poor white-head, +even he won't come to me. But whisht, may be they're asleep; ay, +asleep, and ah, sure if ever any creatures wanted sleep, they do--sleep, +darlin's, sleep--I'll not make a noise to waken one of you--but what's +that?' + +“Here she clasped her hands, and looked with such a gaze of affright and +horror around her, as I never saw on a human face before. + +“'What's that? It's them, it's them,' she exclaimed--'I hear their +horses' feet, I hear them cursin' and swearin'--but no matther, I'm not +to be frightened. Amn't I Hugh Roe's wife?--Isn't here God on my side, +an' are ye a match for him.--Here--here's my breast, my heart, and +through that you must go before you touch him. But then,' she added, +with a sigh, 'where's them that I love, an' am waitin' for, an' why +don't they come?' + +“She once more stooped down, and kissing the grave, whispered, but loud +enough to be heard, 'are ye here? If ye are, ye may speak to me--it's +not them, they don't know where ye are yet--but sure ye may speak to me. +It's Mary, Hugh--your mother, Torley--your own mother, Brian dear, with +the fair locks.' + +“'Ay,' said Raymond, 'that's the white-head she misses--that's him that +I loved--but sure she needn't call him for he won't waken. I'll spake to +her.' As he uttered the words he passed rapidly out of a broken portion +of the wall, and, before she was aware of his approach, stood +beside her. I thought she would have been startled by his unexpected +appearance, but I was mistaken; she surveyed him not only without alarm, +but benignly; and after having examined him for some moments, she said, +'there are three of them, but they will not come--don't you know how I +loved somebody?' + +“'Which o' them?' said Raymond. + +“'It's a long sleep,' she said, without noticing the question, 'a long +sleep--well, they want it, poor things, for there was but little for +them but care, and cowld, and hardship--Sure we had sickness--Torley +left us first; but,--let me see,--where did Poor Brian go? Well, no +matter, we had sickness, as I said, and sometimes we had little or +nothing to eat, but sure still wasn't my hand tendher about them. I felt +my heart in my fingers when I touched them, and, if I gave them a drink +didn't my heart burn, and oh! it was then I knew how I loved them! +Whisht, then, poor things--och sure I'll do my best--I'll struggle for +you as well as I can--you have none but me to do it--it's not the black +wather I'd give my darlin' child if I had betther; but gruel is what I +can't get, for the sorra one grain of mail is undher the roof wid me; +but I'll warm the cowld potato for my pet, and you can play wid it till +you fall asleep, accushla. Yes, I will kiss you; for afther all, isn't +that the richest little treat that your poor mother has to comfort you +with in your poor cowld sick bed--one and all o' ye.' + +“Here she rocked herself to and fro, precisely as if she had been +sitting by the sick bed, then stooping down a third time, she kissed the +earth that contained them once more-- + +“'Ah,' she exclaimed, 'how cowld their lips are! how cowld my +white-haired boy's lips are! and their sleep is long--Oh! but their +sleep is long!' + +“Raymond, during these incoherent expressions, stood mutely beside her, +his lips, however, often moving, as if he were communing with himself, +or endeavoring to shape some words of rude comfort in her sorrows; but +ever and anon, as he seemed to go about it, his face moved with feelings +which he could not utter, like the surface of a brook stirred by the +breeze that passes over it. At length he laid his hand gently on her +shoulder, and exclaimed in a tone of wild and thrilling compassion-- + +“'Mary!' + +“She then started for a moment, and looking around her with something +like curiosity rather than alarm, replied-- + +“'Well--' + +“'Mary,' said he, 'make haste and go to heaven; make haste and go to +heaven--you'll find them all there--Hugh Regan, and Torley, and little +Brian. Don't stop here, for there will be more blood, more bloodhounds, +and more Val M'Clutchy's.' + +“She did not seem to have noticed his particular words, but there +appeared to have been some association awakened which gave a new impulse +to her thoughts-- + +“'Come away,' said she, 'come away!' + +“Raymond turned, and looking towards where I stood, beckoned me to +follow them; and truly it was a touching sight to see this unregulated +attempt of the poor innocent, to sooth the heavy sorrows--if such they +were now--of one of whose malady could appreciate no sympathy, and whose +stricken heart was apparently beyond the reach of consolation forever. + +“Both now proceeded in silence, Raymond still holding her by the hand, +and affording her every assistance, as we crossed the fields, in order +to shorten the path which led us to the Castle Cumber road. On coming +to a ditch, for instance, he would lift her, but still with care and +gentleness, in his powerful arms, and place her, with scarcely any +effort of her own strength, which, indeed, was nearly gone, safely and +easily upon the other side. + +“We had now crossed that part of the sloping upland which led us +out upon a bridle road, that passed close by M'Loughlin's house and +manufactory, and which, slanted across a ford in the river, a little +above their flax-mill. Having got out upon this little road, Raymond, +who, as well as his companion, had for some time past proceeded in +silence, stopped suddenly, and said--'Where is heaven, Mary?' + +“She involuntarily looked up towards the sky, with a quick but +more significant glance than any I had yet seen her give; but this +immediately passed away, and she said in a low voice, very full of the +usual tones of sorrow:--'Heaven--it's there,' she replied, pointing +behind her, towards the burying-place, 'in their graves!' + +“Raymond looked at me, and smiled, as if much pleased with the answer. +'Ay,' said he, 'so it is--wherever his white head lies is heaven.' + +“I cannot tell how it happened, but I know that I felt every source of +tenderness and compassion in my heart moved and opened more by these +simple words on both sides, than by all that had passed since we met +her. + +“In a few minutes more we reached that part of the road immediately +adjoining M'Loughlin's house, and which expanded itself as it reached +the river, that here became a ford, being crossed in ordinary cases +by stone steps. As is usual in the case of such, floods, which fall as +rapidly as they rise, we found about a dozen persons of both sexes, some +sitting, others standing, but all waiting until the river should subside +so as to be passed with safety--the little wooden bridge alluded to +having been literally swept away. Among these was Poll Doolin, the +mother of Raymond, who, however, did not appear to take any particular +notice of her, but kept close by, and directed all his attention to, +unhappy Mary O'Regan. About half an hour, had elapsed, when Raymond, +casting his eye upon the decreasing torrent, said-- + +“'It is now low enough--come, Mary, I will carry you safe over--Raymond +has often crossed it higher, ay, when it was over the rock there to our +right--come.' He lifted her up in his arms without another word, and, +with firm and confident steps, proceeded to ford the still powerful and +angry stream. + +“'Raymond, are you mad?' shouted his mother; 'ten times your strength +couldn't stand that flood--come back, you headstrong creature, or you'll +both be lost, as sure as you attempt it.' + +“Her remonstrances, however, were in vain. Raymond did not even look +back, nor pay the slightest attention to what she said. + +“'Never mind them,' said he; 'I know best--it's often I crossed it.' + +“On reaching the centre of the stream, however, he appeared to feel as +if he had miscalculated the strength of either it or himself. He stood +for a moment literally shaking like a reed in its strong current--the +passive maniac still in his arms, uncertain whether to advance with her +or go back. Experience, however, had often told him, that if the fording +it were at all practicable, the danger was tenfold to return, for by +the very act of changing the position, a man must necessarily lose the +firmness of his opposition to the stream, and consequently be borne away +without the power of resisting it. Raymond, therefore, balanced himself +as steadily as possible, and by feeling and making sure his footing in +the most cautious manner--the slightest possible slip or stumble being +at that moment fatal--he, with surprising strength and courage, had just +succeeded in placing her safely on the rock he had before alluded to, +when a stone turned under him--his foot gave way--and the poor creature, +whose reason was veiled to almost every impulse but that of a wild +and touching humanity, tumbled down the boiling torrent, helpless and +unresisting as a child, and utterly beyond the reach of assistance. My +own sensations and feelings I really cannot describe, because, in point +of fact, such was the tumult--the horror--of my mind at that moment, +that I have no distinct recollection of my impressions. I think for +a short space I must have lost both my sight and hearing, for I now +distinctly remember to have heard, only for the first time, the piercing +screams of his mother rising above the wild and alarming cries of the +others--but not until he had gone down the stream, and disappeared round +a sharp angle or bend, which it formed about eight or ten yards below +where he fell. + +“There grew a little to the left of the spot where this shocking +disaster occurred, a small clump of whitethorn trees, so closely matted +together, that it was impossible to see through them. We all, therefore, +ran round as if by instinct, to watch the tumbling body of poor Raymond, +when what was our surprise to see a powerful young man, about eight or +ten yards below us, dashing into the stream; where, although the current +was narrower, it was less violent, and holding by a strong projecting +branch of hazel that grew on the bank, stretch across the flood, and, +as the body of Raymond passed him, seize it with a vigorous grasp, which +brought it close to where he stood. Feeling that both were now out of +the force of the current, he caught it in his arms, and ere any of +us had either time or presence of mind even to proffer assistance, he +carried, or rather dragged it out of the water, and laid it on the dry +bank. + +“'Come,' said he, 'I am afraid there is little time to be lost--help +me up with him to my father's, till we see what can be done to recover +life, if life is left.' + +“The fact is, however, that Raymond was not altogether insensible; for, +as young M'Loughlin--the same, by the way, who had sent the message to +Phil--had concluded, he opened his eyes, breathed, and after gulping up +some water, looked about him. + +“'Ah!' said he, 'poor Mary--she's gone to them at last; but she'll be +happier with them. Take my hand,' said he to M'Loughlin, 'sure I thought +I could do it. Poor Mary!' + +“This instantly directed our attention to the unhappy woman, whom we had +all overlooked and forgotten for the moment, and I need not say that +our satisfaction was complete, on finding her sitting calmly on the rock +where Raymond had placed her, at the risk of his life. Poll Doolin, now +seeing that her idiot son was safe, and feeling that she was indebted +for his life to the son of that man on whom she is said by many to have +wreaked such a fearful vengeance, through the ruined reputation of +his only daughter, now approached the young man, and with her features +deeply convulsed by a sense probably of her obligation to him, she +stretched out her hand, 'John M'Loughlin,' said she, 'from this day out +may God prosper me here and hereafter, if I'm not the friend of you and +yours!' + +“'Bad and vindictive woman,' replied the other indignantly, whilst he +held back the hand she sought, 'our accounts are now settled--I have +saved your son; you have murdered my sister. If you are capable of +remorse I now leave you to the hell of your own conscience, which can be +but little less in punishment than that of the damned.' + +“Raymond, whose attention had been divided between them and Mary +O'Regan, now said-- + +“'Ha, ha, mother--there--that's one--you'll sleep sound now I hope, +for you didn't lately--that little thing that comes to your bedside at +night, won't trouble you any more, I suppose. No, no, the thing you say +in your sleep, that is black in the face, has its tongue out, and the +handkerchief drawn tight about its neck. You'd give back the money in +your dhrame; but sorry a penny while you're waken, I'll engage.' + +“Poll turned away rebuked, but not, if one could judge, either in +resentment or revenge. Raymond's words she had not heard, and of course +paid no attention to what he said; but the latter, now seeing that +the river had fallen considerably, again dashed into the stream, and +crossing over, lifted the poor insane widow off the rock, and setting +her down in safety on the other side, they both proceeded onwards +together. + +“'The ford, sir, will not be passable for at least another hour,' said +young M'Loughlin, addressing me, 'but if you will have the kindness to +step up to my father's, and rest a little after your mountain journey, +for I think you have been up the hills, you will find it at least more +comfortable than standing here, and less fatiguing than going round +by the bridge, which would make it at least five miles added to your +journey.' + +“I thanked him, said I felt obliged, and would gladly avail myself of +his very civil invitation. + +“'Perhaps,' he added, 'you might wish to see our flax and linen +manufactory; if so, and that you do not think it troublesome, I will +feel great pleasure in showing it to you.' + +“I expressed my obligations, but pleaded fatigue, which indeed I felt; +and we consequently soon found ourselves in his father's parlor, where +I met a very venerable old gentleman, the Rev. Mr. Roche, the Roman +Catholic pastor of the parish.” + +We must here exercise the privilege, which, at the commencement of +this correspondence, we assured our readers we should reserve to +ourselves--we allude to the ability which we possess, from ampler +and clearer sources of information--to throw into Mr. Easel's +correspondence, in their proper place, such incidents as he could +not have possibly known, but which let in considerable light upon the +progress of his narrative. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII.--An Execution by Val's Blood-Hounds + +Cruel Consequences of Phil's Plot Against Mary M'Loughlin--Dreadful +Determination of her Brothers--An Oath of Blood--Father Roche's +Knowledge of Nature--Interview Between Mary and her Brothers--Influence +and Triumph of Domestic Affection + + +The hellish and cowardly plot against Mary M'Loughlin's reputation, and +which the reader knows has already been planned and perpetrated by +Poll Doolin and Phil M'Clutchy, was, as such vile calumnies mostly are, +generally successful with the public. On her own immediate relations +and family, who knew her firmness, candor, purity of heart, and +self-respect, the foul slander had no effect whatsoever, at least in +shaking their confidence in her sense of honor and discretion. With the +greedy and brutal public, however, it was otherwise; and the discovery +of this fact, which reached them in a thousand ways, it was that filled +their hearts with such unparalleled distress, terrible agony, and that +expanding spirit of revenge which is never satisfied, until it closes +on him whose crime has given it birth. In truth,--and it is not to be +wondered at--as how almost could it be otherwise?--the diabolical and +cowardly crime of Phil M'Clutchy towards their sweet and unoffending +sister, had changed her three brothers from men into so many savage and +insatiable Frankensteins, resolved never to cease dogging his guilty +steps, until their vengeance had slaked its burning thirst in his +caitiff blood. + +Immediately after the night of its occurrence, a change began to take +place in the conduct and deportment of their general acquaintances. +Visitors dropped off, some from actual delicacy, and an unaffected +compassion, and others from that shrinking fear of moral contagion, +which is always most loudly and severely expressed by the private sinner +and hypocrite. Their sister's conduct was, in fact, the topic of +general discussion throughout the parish, and we need not say that such +discussions usually were terminated--first in great compassion for the +poor girl, and then as their virtue warmed, in as earnest denunciations +of her guilt. To an indifferent person, however, without any prejudice +either for or against her, it was really impossible, considering the +satanic success with which the plot was managed, and the number of +witnesses actually present at its accomplishment, to consider Miss +M'Loughlin as free at least from gross and indefensible levity, and a +most unjustifiable relaxation of female prudence, at a period when it +was known she was actually engaged to another. + +This certainly looked very suspicious, and we need scarcely say that a +cessation of all visits, intimacy, and correspondence, immediately took +place, on the part of female friends and acquaintances. In fact the +innocent victim of this dastardly plot was completely deserted, and the +little party of her friends was by no means a match for the large and +godly hosts who charitably combined to establish her guilt. Her father, +with all his manliness of character, and sterling integrity, was not +distressed on his daughter's account only. There was another cause of +anxiety to him equally deep--we mean the mysterious change that had come +over his sons, in consequence of this blasting calamity. He saw clearly +that they had come to the dark and stern determination of avenging their +sister's disgrace upon its author, and that at whatever risk. This in +truth to him was the greater affliction of the two, and he accordingly +addressed himself with all his authority and influence over them, to +the difficult task of plucking this frightful resolution out of their +hearts. In his attempt to execute this task, he found himself baffled +and obstructed by other circumstances of a very distracting nature. +First, there were the rascally paragraphs alluding to his embarrassments +on the one hand, and those which, while pretending to vindicate him and +his partner from any risk of bankruptcy, levelled the assassin's blow +at the reputation of his poor daughter, on the other. Both told; but +the first with an effect which no mere moral courage or consciousness +of integrity, however high, could enable him to meet. Creditors came in, +alarmed very naturally at the reports against his solvency, and +demanded settlement of their accounts from the firm. These, in the +first instances, were immediately made out and paid; but this would not +do--other claimants came, equally pressing--one after another--and +each so anxious in the early panic to secure himself, that ere long the +instability which, in the beginning, had no existence, was gradually +felt, and the firm of Harman and M'Loughlin felt themselves on the eve +of actual bankruptcy. + +These matters all pressed heavily and bitterly on both father and sons. +But we have yet omitted to mention that which, amidst all the lights +in which the daughter contemplated the ruin of her fair fame, fell with +most desolating consequences upon her heart--we mean her rejection by +Harman, and the deliberate expression of his belief in her guilt. And, +indeed, when our readers remember how artfully the web of iniquity +was drawn around her, and the circumstances of mystery in which Harman +himself had witnessed her connection with Poll Doolin, whose character +for conducting intrigues he knew too well, they need not be surprised +that he threw her off as a deceitful and treacherous wanton, in whom +no man of a generous and honorable nature could or ought to place +confidence, and who was unworthy even of an explanation. Mary +M'Loughlin could have borne everything but this. Yes; the abandonment +of friends--of acquaintances--of a fickle world itself; but here it was +where her moral courage foiled her. The very hope to which her heart had +clung from its first early and innocent impulses--the man to whom she +looked up as the future guide, friend, and partner of her life, and for +whose sake and safety she had suffered herself to be brought within +the meshes of her enemies and his--this man, her betrothed husband, had +openly expressed his conviction of her being unfit to become his wife, +upon hearing from his cousin and namesake an account of what that young +man had witnessed. Something between a nervous and brain fever had +seized her on the very night of this heinous stratagem; but from that +she was gradually recovering when at length she heard, by accident, of +Harman's having unequivocally and finally withdrawn from the engagement. +Under this she sank. It was now in vain to attempt giving her support, +or cheering her spirits. Depression, debility, apathy, restlessness, +and all the symptoms of a breaking constitution and a broken heart, +soon began to set in and mark her for an early, and what was worse, an +ignominious grave. It was then that her brothers deemed it full time to +act. Their father, on the night before the day on which poor Raymond was +rescued from death, observed them secretly preparing firearms,--for they +had already, as the reader knows, satisfied themselves that M'Clutchy, +junior, would not fight--took an opportunity of securing their weapons +in a place where he knew they could not be found. This, however, was of +little avail--they told him it must and should be done, and that neither +he nor any other individual in existence should debar them from the +execution of their just, calm, and reasonable vengeance--for such were +their very words. In this situation matters were, when about eleven +o'clock the next morning, Father Roche, who, from the beginning, had +been there to aid and console, as was his wont, wherever calamity or +sorrow called upon him, made his appearance in the family, much to the +relief of M'Loughlin's mind, who dreaded the gloomy deed which his sons +had proposed to themselves to execute, and who knew besides, that in +this good and pious priest he had a powerful and eloquent ally. After +the first salutations had passed, M'Loughlin asked for a private +interview with him; and when they had remained about a quarter of an +hour together, the three sons were sent for, all of whom entered with +silent and sullen resolution strongly impressed on their stern, pale, +and immovable features. Father Roche himself was startled even into +something like terror, when he witnessed this most extraordinary change +in the whole bearing and deportment of the young men, whom he had always +known so buoyant and open-hearted. + +“My dear young friends,” said he, calmly and affectionately, “your +father has just disclosed to me a circumstance, to which, did it not +proceed from his lips, I could not yield credit. Is it true that +you have come to the most unchristian and frightful determination of +shedding blood?” + +“Call it just and righteous,” said John, calmly. + +“Yes,” followed the other two, “it is both.” + +“In his cowardly crime he has evaded the responsibility of law,” + continued John, “and we care not if his punishment goes beyond law +itself. We will answer for it with our lives--but in the mean time, he +must die.” + +“You see, Father Roche,” observed M'Loughlin, “to what a hardened state +the strong temptations of the devil has brought them.” + +“It is not that,” said John; “it is affection for our injured sister, +whom he has doubly murdered--it is also hatred of himself, and of the +oppression we are receiving in so many shapes at his hands. He must +die.” + +“Yes,” repeated the two brothers, “he must die, it is now too late.” + +“Ha!” said the priest, “I understand you; there is an oath here.” + +The three brothers smiled, but spoke not. + +“Are ye my sons?” said the father, in tears, “and will you, who were +ever obedient and dutiful, disregard me now?” + +“In this one thing we must,” said John “we know you not now as our +father. Am I right?” said he, addressing his brothers. + +“You are right,” they replied, “in this thing he is not our father.” + +“Great God!” said the priest, trembling with absolute dread at a scene +so different from any he had ever witnessed, “Merciful Father, hear our +prayers, and drive the evil spirits of vengeance and blood out of the +hearts of these wicked men!” + +“Amen!” said their father, “and rescue them from the strong temptations +of the devil which are in them and upon them. Why do you not even pray +to God--” + +“--For strength to do it--we did, and we do,” said John, interrupting +him. + +Father Roche looked at them, and there they stood, pale, silent, and +with a smile upon their lips which filled him with a description of +awe and fear that was new to him. Their father was little better; the +perspiration stood on his brow, and as he looked at them, he at times +began to doubt their very identity, and to believe that the whole +interview might be a phantasma, or a hideous dream. + +“You have sworn an oath,” said the priest. “Rash and sinful men, you +dared blasphemously to take, as it were, the Almighty into a league of +blood! Do you not know that the creature you are about to slay is the +work of your Creator, even as you are yourselves, and what power +have you over his life? I see, I see,” he added, “you have taken a +sacrilegious oath of blood!” + +“We have taken an oath of blood,” said they, “and we will keep it.” + +“But is this just to your sister?” said the priest; “do you believe in +the justice of an Almighty Providence? Is there no probability that, if +this man lives, circumstances may come to light by which her fair and +spotless character may be vindicated to the world? On the contrary, +should you now take his life, you prevent any such possibility from ever +happening; and your own rashness and ungodly crime, will be the means of +sending her name down to posterity, foul and spotted with the imputation +of woman's worst guilt. Is that love for your sister?” + +Father Roche now began to see that he must argue with their passions--or +with that strong affection for their sister, upon which these +fearful passions were founded--rather than with their reason or their +prejudices, which, in point of fact were now immovably set in the dark +determination of crime. + +“Do you forget,” he added, “that there are laws in the country to +pursue and overtake the murderer? Do you forget that you will die an +ignominious death, and that, instead of acting an honorable part in +life, as becomes your ancient and noble name, you will bequeath nothing +to your parents but an inheritance of shame and infamy?” + +“We have thought of all this before,” said John. + +“No, not all,” said the youngest; “not all, but nearly.” + +“Well, nearly,” said the other. + +“Then,” said the priest, “you will not hesitate to renounce your most +foul and diabolical intention?” + +“We have sworn it,” said John, “and it must be done.” To this the others +calmly assented. + +“Well, then,” said the earnest Christian, “since you fear neither +disgrace, nor shame, nor the force of human laws, nor the dread of human +punishment, you are not so hardened as to bid defiance to the Almighty, +by whom you will be judged. Has he not said, 'thou shalt do no murder? +and that whoso sheddeth blood, by man shall his blood be shed.' I now +ask you,” said he, “as one of the humblest of his accredited messengers, +do you believe in God and fear him?” + +“We are sworn,” said John; “the blood of him who has dishonored our +sister's name we will shed, and it is neither priest nor parent who will +or shall prevent us.” + +“Is not a rash and unlawful oath a crime?” said Father Roche: “yes, and +you know it is better broken than kept. I call upon you now, as your +spiritual guide, to renounce that blasphemous oath of blood, and in the +name of the Almighty and all powerful God, I command you to do it.” + +“We deny your right to interfere,” replied John, “we are not now at +confession--keep within your limits; for as sure as there is death and +Judgment, so sure as we will fulfil our oath in avenging the disgrace of +our sister. That ends all, and we will speak no more.” + +The good old man began to fear that he should be put to the most painful +necessity of lodging informations before a magistrate, and thus become +the means of bringing' disgrace and evil upon the family when it +occurred to him to ask them a last question. + +“My dear young men,” said he, “I have forgotten, in the agitation of +mind occasioned by the unprecedented disclosure of your evil and wilful +intentions, to ask, if you so far renounce God as to refuse to worship +him. Kneel down, and let us pray.” He himself and their father knelt, +but the three brothers stood as sullen and immovable as before. Tho +priest uttered a short prayer, but their conduct so completely +perplexed and shocked him, that he rose up, and with tears in his eyes, +exclaimed-- + +“I am now an old man, and have witnessed many instances of error, and +sin, and deep crime, but never before have I seen in persons of your +early years, such instances--such awful, terrible instances--of that +impenitence in which the heart, setting aside God and his sacred +ordinances, is given over to the hardness of final reprobation. I can do +no more, as the ambassador of Christ, but I must not stand by and see a +fellow-creature--oh! thank God,” he exclaimed, “a thought recurs to my +mind which had for a time passed out of it. My good friend,” he said, +addressing old M'Loughlin, “will you bring Mary in, if she is able to +come--say I request to see her here.” + +“We will go now,” said the eldest, “you can want us no longer.” + +“You shall not go,” replied Father Roche firmly, “if you are men, +stay--or, if cowards, who are afraid to look into the depths of your +own dark designs, you will and may go--we want you not.” This language +perplexed them, but they stood as before, and moved not. + +In a few minutes Mary came in, leaning on her father's arm; but, ah! +what a change from the elegant outline and clear, healthy cheek--from +the red plump lips, and dark mellow eyes, which carried fascination +in every glance and grace in every motion! Sweet, and beautiful, and +interesting, she still unquestionably was, but her pale cheek, languid +eye, and low tremulous voice, told a tale, which, when the cause of it +was reflected on, had literally scorched up out of her brother's hearts +every remaining vestige of humanity. + +“Mary,” said the priest, we have requested your presence, my child, for +a most important purpose--and, in communicating that purpose to you, we +indeed give the strongest proof of our confidence in your firmness and +good sense--nay, I will add, in the truth and fervor of your dependence +on the sustaining power of religion.” + +“In my own strength or discretion I will never depend more,” she +replied, sighing deeply. + +“You must exert great courage and firmness now, then,” rejoined Father +Roche; “In the first place, you are about to have a disclosure made +which will be apt to shock you; and, in the next place, I have only to +say, that it is the absolute necessity of your knowing it, in order to +prevent dreadful consequences from ensuing upon it, that forces us to +make you cognizant of it at all.” + +“I trust I shall endeavor at least to bear it,” she returned; “I am +not strong, and I do not think that too much preparation will add to my +strength.” + +“I agree with you, my child,” said Father Roche, “and have only made +such as I deemed indispensably necessary. The fact then is, my poor +girl, that your brothers meditate violence against that most base and +wicked person who--” + +“I know, sir, the person to whom you allude; but I will thank you, if +you can avoid it, not to name him.” + +“I have no such intention,” replied the good man, “but bad and +profligate as he is, it is still worse that your three brothers should +propose such violence.” + +“But what do you mean by violence--of course violence of any description +is beneath them. Surely,--John, you would not stoop--” + +She looked at them as she spoke, and, as before, there was no mistaking +the meaning of the cold and deadly smile which lay upon their lips, and +contrasted so strongly and strangely with their kindling eyes. + +“What fearful expression is this,” she asked, with evident terror and +trepidation; “my dear brothers, what does this mean?--that is, if you +be my brothers, for I can scarcely recognize you--what is it, in the +name of heaven?” + +The brothers looked at her, but spoke not, nor moved. + +“They have taken an oath, Mary, to wipe out your shame in his blood,” + added the priest. + +She immediately rose up without aid, and approached them. + +“This is not true, my dear brothers,” said she, “this cannot be +true--deny it for your sister.” + +“We cannot deny it, Mary,” said John, “for it is true, and must be +done--our vengeance is ripe, hot, burning, and will wait no longer.” + +“John,” said she, calmly, “recollect 'vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, +and I will repay it.'” + +“I told them so,” said their father, “but I receive no attention at +their hands.” + +“Vengeance is ours,” said John, in a deeper and more determined voice +than he had ever uttered, “vengeance is ours, and we shall repay it.” + The others repeated his words as before. + +“Obstinate and unhappy young men,” said the priest, “you know not, or +you forget, that this is blasphemy.” + +“This, my dear sir,” observed their sister, getting still more +deadly,pale than before, “is not blasphemy, it is insanity--my three +brothers are insane; that is it. Relieve me, John,” said she, recovering +herself, “and say it is so.” + +“If we were insane, Mary,” replied her brother, calmly, “our words would +go for nothing.” + +“But, is it not a dreadful thing,” she continued, “that I should be glad +of such an alternative?” + +“Mary,” said the priest, “ask them to pray; they refused to join me and +their father, perhaps you may be more successful.” + +“They will certainly pray,” said she; “I never knew them to omit it +a night, much less refuse it. Surely they will join their poor sister +Mary, who will not long--” She hesitated from motives which the reader +can understand, but immediately knelt down to prayer. + +During prayer the three brothers stood and knelt not, neither did they +speak. When prayers were concluded, she arose, and with tears in her +eyes, approached her eldest-brother. + +“John,” said she, “can it be that the brother of Mary M'Loughlin is an +assassin? I will answer for you,” she said. “Kiss me, for I am weak and +feeble, and must go to bed.” + +“I cannot kiss you,” he replied; “I can never kiss you more, Mary--for +it must be--done.” + +The tears still streamed copiously down her cheeks, as they did down +those of her father and the amiable priest. The latter, who never took +his eye off her, was praying; incessantly, as might be seen by the +motion, of his lips. + +“Alick,” she proceeded, turning to her second brother, “surely won't +refuse to kiss and embrace his only sister, before she withdraws for the +day.” + +“I cannot kiss you, my pure sister; I can never kiss you more. We have +sworn, and it must be done.” + +“I thought I had brothers,” said she, “but I find I am now +brotherless--yet perhaps not altogether so. I had once a young, +generous, innocent, and very affectionate playfellow. It was known +that I loved him--that we all loved him best. Will he desert his loving +sister, now that the world has done so? or will he allow her to kiss, +him, and to pray that the darkness of guilt may never overshadow his +young and generous spirit. Bryan,” she added, “I am Mary, your sister, +whom you loved--and surely you are my own dearest brother.” + +Whilst she uttered the words, the tears: which flowed from her eyes +fell upon his face. He looked at her pale features, so full of love and +tenderness--the muscles of his face worked strongly; but at length, with +a loud cry, he threw himself over, caught her in his arms, and laying +her head upon his bosom, wept aloud. The evil spell was now broken. +Neither John nor Alick could resist the contagion of tenderness +which their beloved sister shed into their hearts. Their tears +flowed fast--their caresses were added to those of Brian; and as they +penitently embraced her, they retracted their awful oath, and promised +never again to think of violence, revenge, or bloodshed. + +Thus did the force and purity of domestic affection charm back into +their hearts the very spirit which its own excess had before driven +out of it;--and thus it is that many a triumph over crime is won by +the tenderness and strength of that affection, when neither reason, +nor religion, nor any other principle that we are acquainted with, +can succeed in leading captive the fearful purposes of resentment and +revenge. + +“Now,” said Father Eoche, “we have still a, duty to perform, and that +is, to return thanks to Almighty God for the dark and deadly crime, and +the woeful sorrow, which, by his grace and mercy, he has averted from +this family; and I think we may take this blessing--for such surely it +is--as an earnest hope that the same Divine hand, which has put aside +this impending calamity from us, may, and will, in his own good time, +remove the other afflictions which the enmity and wickedness of evil +hearts, and evil councils have brought upon us; but especially let us +kneel and return thanks for the great and happy change which, through +the humility and affection of one of us, has been wrought upon the +rest.” + +He then knelt down, and on this occasion the iron sinews of these young +men became soft, and were bent in remorse, sorrow, repentance. The pious +priest prayed fervently and humbly, and as his tears fell fast, in the +trusting sincerity of his heart and the meek earnestness of his +spirit, it is almost unnecessary to say, that those of his little flock +accompanied him. The brothers wept bitterly, for the rocky heart of each +had been touched, and religion completed the triumph which affection had +begun. + +Such had been the situation of this family on the day alluded to by +Mr. Easel, who could not, of course, have had any means of becoming +acquainted with them, but as we felt that the incidents were necessary +to give fulness to his narrative, we did not hesitate to introduce them +here, where a knowledge of them was so necessary. We now allow Mr. Easel +himself to resume his narrative. + + +“This venerable pastor,” continues Mr. Easel, “is a thin, pale man, but, +evidently, in consequence of temperance and moderation in his general +habits of living, a healthy one. He cannot be less than seventy, but the +singular clearness of his complexion, and the steady lustre of his +gray eye, lead you to suppose that he is scarcely that. He is tall and +without stoop, and, from the intellectual character of his high and +benevolent forehead, added to the mildness of his other features, and +his whole face, he presented, I must say, a very striking combination of +dignity and meekness. His dress is plain, and nothing can be more fine +and impressive than the contrast between his simple black apparel, and +the long flowing snow-white hair which falls over it. His holy zeal as +a Christian minister, unobscured by secular feelings, or an unbecoming +participation in the angry turmoils of political life, possessed all +the simple beauty of pure and primitive piety. Father Roche received +his education on the Continent, in several parts of which he has held +ecclesiastical appointments, one being the Presidency of an Irish +College. He consequently speaks most, if not all, of the continental +languages; but so utterly free from display, and so simple are his +manners, that you would not on a first interview, no, nor on a second, +ever suppose the man to be what he is--a most accomplished scholar and +divine. In one thing, however, you never could be mistaken--that his +manners, with all their simplicity, are those of a gentleman, possessing +as they do, all the ease, and, when he chooses, the elegance of a man +who has moved in high and polished society. He has only been a few +years in Ireland. After a glass of wine and some desultory conversation +touching public events and the state of this unfortunate and unsettled +country, upon all of which he spoke with singular good temper and +moderation, we went to see the manufactory, now that I had recovered +from my fatigue. This building is two or three hundred yards from the +house, and as we were on our way there, it so happened that he and I +found ourselves together, and at some distance from M'Loughlin and his +sons. + +“'You were introduced, sir,' said he, 'to me as Mr. Easel.' + +“I bowed. + +“'I am not inquisitive,' he added with a smile, 'because in this case I +do not find it necessary; but I am candid.' + +“I began to feel slightly uneasy, so I only bowed again, but could say +nothing. + +“'I have met you on the continent.' + +“'It is quite possible,' I replied, 'I have been there.' + +“He laid his finger on my shoulder, and added still with a gentle and +significant smile, 'I am in possession of your secret, and I say so, to +take you merely as far as I am concerned, out of a false, and myself +out of a somewhat painful position. It would be embarrassing to me, for +instance, to meet and treat you as that which you are not, knowing as +I do what you are; and it will relieve you from the difficulty of +sustaining a part that is not your own, at least so far as I am +concerned.' + +“'I certainly perceive,' I replied, 'that you are in possession of that, +which in this country, I thought known only to myself and another.' + +“'Your secret,' he said emphatically, 'shall be inviolable.' + +“'I feel it, my good sir,' I replied, 'and now, let me ask, on what part +of the continent did we meet?' + +“Let it suffice to say here, that he brought himself distinctly to my +memory, through the medium of a very kind office performed for a +friend of mine, who, at the time, stood in circumstances not only of +difficulty, but of considerable personal danger. + +“Having viewed the manufactory, which is somewhat of a novelty in this +immediate locality, we were about to take our leave, when four men, +evidently strangers, and each remarkable for that hardened and insolent +look which begets suspicion at a glance, now entered the concern with an +air of ruffian authority, and with all the offensive forms of which the +law is capable, laid on an execution, to the amount of fourteen hundred +pounds. + +“Old M'Loughlin received the intelligence, and witnessed the +proceedings, with a smile, in which there was something that struck me +as being peculiarly manly and independent. + +“'This,' said he, 'although coming from a quarter that I deemed to be +friendly, is the heaviest blow, connected with our business, that we +have received yet. Still, gentlemen,' he proceeded, addressing +Father Roche and myself, 'I trust it won't signify--a mere passing +embarrassment. This manufactory, as you may perceive, complete through +all its machinery, which is of the very best and costliest description, +together with the property in it, is worth five times the amount of the +execution.' + +“'Yes, but you forget,' replied the leading ruffian, 'that property +under an execution isn't to be judged by its real value. In general it +doesn't bring one-tenth, no, nor one-fifteenth of its true value, when +auctioned out, as it will be, under a writ.' + +“'Ay, by Jabers,' said another of them, 'an' what's better still, you +forget that your lease is expired, and that Lord Cumber has sent over +word for you not to get a renewal--nor Harman either.' + +“'Is this true?' I inquired of Father Roche; 'do you imagine it to be +possible?' + +“'That fellow is bad authority for anything,' he replied, 'but I fear +that in this Point, he is too correct. However, let us ask M'Loughlin +himself, who, certainly, has the best right to know.' + +“This I resolved on, not because I was ignorant of the fact, which +you know I had from M'Clutchy himself, but that I might ascertain that +gentleman's mode of transacting business, and his fairness towards Lord +Cumber's tenants. + +“'What this man says, Mr. M'Loughlin, surely cannot be possible--does he +mean to assert that Lord Cumber refused to renew your lease, although +he must be aware that you have expended in the erection of this fine +manufactory a sum not less, I should suppose, than five or six thousand +pounds.' + +“'Seven thousand six hundred,' replied the old man, setting me right, +'nearly four thousand between Harman and us.' + +“'But he does not refuse to renew your leases certainly?' + +“'No,' said M'Loughlin, 'I cannot say that he does; but we have not been +able to get anything like a distinct reply from him on the subject--and, +as far as reports go, they are certainly not in our favor. We have +written to Lord Cumber himself, and the only reply we could obtain was, +that he had placed the whole matter in the hands of M'Clutchy, in whose +justice and integrity, he said, he had the highest confidence, and that +consequently we must abide by his decision. My own impression is, that +he is determined to ruin us, which he certainly will, should he refuse +us a renewal.' + +“'There can be no doubt about it,' said the eldest son, 'nor that his +management of the estate and his general administration of justice are +woefully one-sided.' + +“'I don't choose to hear Mr. M'Clutchy abused,' said the leading fellow, +who, in truth, was one of his blood-hounds, as were all the rest, with +one exception only, 'nor I won't hear him abused. You wouldn't have +him show the same favor to Papists that he would show to good, honest +Protestants, that are staunch and. loyal to Church and State--by Jabers, +that would be nice work! Do you think a man's not to show favor to his +own side, either as a magistrate or agent?--faith that's good!' + +“'And I'll tell you more,' said another of them, addressing John +M'Loughlin, 'do you think, that if he dared to put Papishes on a level +with us, that we'd suffer it? By Gog, you're out of it if you do--we +know a horse of another color, my buck.' + +“'To whom do you address such insolent language as this?' asked the +young man, 'you are here in execution of your duty, and you had better +confine yourself to that.' + +“'To you, my buck, I address it, and to any Papish that doesn't like +it--and if I'm here to discharge my duty, I'll discharge it,' and he +shook his head with insolence as he spoke; 'an' what's more, I'm +afeard of no man--and I'll discharge my duty as I like, that's another +thing--as I like to discharge it. Ha! d--n me, I'm not to be put down by +a parcel of Priests and Papishes, if they were ten times as bad as they +are.' + +“'You are a low ruffian,' replied the young man, 'far beneath my +resentment or my notice; and it is precisely such scoundrels as +you, ignorant and brutal, who bring shame and infamy upon religion +itself--and are a multiplied curse to the country.' + +“'Very well, my buck,' persisted this ferocious bigot, 'may be the day +will come when we'll make you remember this traisen, and swally it too. +How would you like to get a touch of the wreckers, my buck?--an' by +Jabers, take care that you're not in for a lick. A lease! d--n me but +it would be a nice thing to give the like o' you a lease! None o' your +sort, my buck, will get that trick, so long as loyal M'Clutchy's on the +property.' + +“Father Roche having taken the young man's arm, led him away; wishing +to avoid any further altercation with such persons, and immediately +afterwards they set about completing an inventory of all the property, +machinery, etc., in the establishment. + +“'There was one expression used by that man,' I observed, when we +got out again upon the Castle Cumber road, 'which I do not properly +understand; it was, 'how should you like to get a touch of the +wreckers?' + +“'The wreckers, sir,' replied old M'Loughlin, 'are a set of men such as +that fellow we have just been speaking to--brimful of venom and hatred +against Catholics and their religion. Their creed consists of two +principles, one of which I have just mentioned, that is, hatred of +us; the other is a blind attachment to the Orange system. These two +combined, constitute a loyalist of the present day; and with such +impressions operating upon a large mass of men like the fellow inside, +who belong to an ascendant party, and are permitted to carry arms and +ammunition wherever they like, either to search your house or mine, +on the most frivolous pretences, it is not surprising that the country +should be as it is; but it is surprising, that exposed as we are to such +men, without adequate protection, we should possess any attachment at +all to the throne and, constitution of these realms; or to a government +which not only suffers such a state of things to exist, but either +connives at or encourages it. For instance, it was the exhibition of +such principles as you have heard that man avow, that got him and those +who accompany him their appointments; for, I am sorry to say, that there +is no such successful recommendation as this violent party! spirit, even +to situations of the very lowest class. The highest are generally held +by Orangemen, and it is attachment to their system that constitutes +the only passport now-a-days to every office in the country, from the +secretary to the scavenger.' + +“This, I fear, is rather an overtime account of the state of things in +the portion of Ireland from which I write; but, whilst I admit this, +I am far from saying that the faults are all on one side. There are +prejudices equally ferocious, and quite as senseless and ignorant, on +the part of the Roman Catholic party--prejudices resulting sometimes +from education, and sometimes from the want of it; but, which certainly +contribute their full share to the almost disorganized state of society +by which I am surrounded.” + + +From the same to the same in continuation. + +“May 10, 18--. My dear Spinageberd---Feeling, as I did, exceedingly +anxious to make myself acquainted with the true principles of the Orange +institutions which have spread themselves so rapidly over the country, I +need scarcely say to you that I left nothing that was fair and honorable +undone, on my part, to accomplish that object; or, in other words, +to ascertain whether their private principles, as a political body, +harmonize with their public practices. It is but fair to render justice +to every party, and consequently it is only right and equitable to +inquire whether the violent outrages committed by the low and ignorant +men who belong to their body, are defensible by the regulations which +are laid down for their guidance. + +“On looking over the general declaration of the objects of the +institution, one is certainly struck by the fairness, and liberality, +and moderation, joined to a becoming avowal of attachment to the +Protestant religion and the throne, which it breathes. Here, however, +it is, _verbatim et literatim_, in its authentic shape, with all that is +good or evil in it laid clearly before you. I deem it right, however, to +preface it by the greater portion of a short but significant Report, to +which are prefixed the following memorable names:-- + +“'At a meeting of the Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland, November 29, 1798. +Present:--Thomas Verner, Grand Master; J. C. Beresford, grand secretary; +R. C. Smith, jun., deputy secretary; H. A. Woodward; J. S. Rochfort; T. +F. Knipe; Samuel Montgomery; Harding Giffard; William Richardson; John +Fisher; William Corbett; W. G. Galway; Francis Gregory. Harding Giffard +and S. Montgomery, Esqrs., reported as follows:-- + +“'Having been honored by the Grand Lodge with instructions to revise and +select a proper system of rules, for the government of Orange Lodges, we +beg leave to make a report of our progress. + +“'We are happy in being able to say, that in our duty upon this +occasion, we received the greatest assistance from the experience of the +Grand Master of Ireland, and his Deputy Grand Secretary, who did us the +honor of imparting to us their sentiments. + +“'Encouraged by their help, we have ventured very materially to alter +the shape of the confused system which was referred to us preserving the +spirit, and, as much as possible, the original words, except where we +had to encounter gross violations of language and grammar. + +“'The general, plan of our proceeding has been this, we have thrown what +are, in our opinion, very improperly called the six first general rules, +into one plain short declaration of the sentiments of the body. + +“'Next in order we have given the qualifications of an Orangeman, +selected from the Antrim regulations, and the rather, as it breathes +a spirit of piety which cannot be too generally diffused throughout an +institution, whose chief object, whatever political shape it may assume, +is to preserve the Protestant Religion. ****** + +“'Samuel Montgomery, “'Henby Giffard. '“Nov. 20, 1798.” + + +GENERAL DECLARATION OF THE OBJECTS OF THE ORANGE INSTITUTION. + +“'We associate, to the utmost of our power, to support and defend +his Majesty King George the Third, the constitution and laws of this +country, and the succession to the Throne in his Majesty's illustrious +house, being Protestants; for the defence of our persons and properties; +and to maintain the peace of the country; and _for these purposes to we +will be at all times ready to assist the civil and, military powers in +the just and lawful discharge of their duty_. We also associate in honor +of King William the Third, Prince of Orange, whose name we bear, +as supporters of his glorious memory, and the true religion by him +completely established in these kingdoms. And in order to prove our +gratitude and affection for his name, we will annually celebrate the +victory over James at the Boyne, on the first day of July, O.S., in +every year, which day shall be our grand Era for ever. + +We further declare that we are exclusively a Protestant Association; +yet, detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit, we solemnly pledge +ourselves to each other, _that we will not persecute, injure, or upbraid +any person on account of his religious opinions, PROVIDED THE SAME BE +NOT HOSTILE TO THE STATE_; but that we will, on the contrary, be aiding +and assisting' to every loyal subject, of every religious description, +in protecting him from violence and oppression. + + +Qualifications requisite for an Orangeman. + +“'He should have a sincere love and veneration for his Almighty Maker, +productive of those lively and happy fruits, righteousness and obedience +to his commands; a firm and steadfast faith in the Saviour of the world, +convinced that he is the only mediator between a sinful creature and an +offended Creator--without these he cannot be a Christian; of a humane +and compassionate disposition, and a courteous and affable behavior. He +should be an utter enemy to savage brutality and unchristian cruelty; a +lover of society and improving company; and have a laudable regard for +the Protestant religion, and a sincere desire to propagate its precepts; +zealous in promoting the honor, happiness, and prosperity of his king +and country; heartily desirous of victory and success in those pursuits, +yet convinced and assured that God alone can grant them. He should have +a hatred of cursing and swearing, and taking the name of God in vain (a +shameful practice), and he should use all opportunities of discouraging +it among his brethren. Wisdom and prudence should guide his +actions--honesty and integrity direct his conduct--and the honor and +glory of his king and country be the motives of his endeavors--lastly, +he should pay the strictest attention to a religious observance of the +Sabbath, and also to temperance and sobriety. + + +Obligation of an Orangeman. + +“I, A. B., do solemnly and sincerely swear, of my own free will and +accord, that I will, to the utmost of my power, support and defend the +present king, George III., his heirs and successors, so long as he or +they support the Protestant ascendancy, the constitution, and laws +of these kingdoms; and that I will ever hold sacred the name of our +glorious deliverer, William III., prince of Orange; and I do further +swear, that I am not, nor ever was, a Roman Catholic or Papist; that I +was not, am not, nor ever will be, a United Irishman, and that I never +took the oath of secrecy to that, or any other treasonable society; and +I do further swear, in the presence of Almighty God, that I will always +conceal, and never will reveal, either part or parts of what is now to +be privately communicated to me, until I shall be authorized so to do +by the proper authorities of the Orange institution; that I will neither +write it, nor indite it, stamp, stain, or engrave it, nor cause it so to +be done, on paper, parchment, leaf, bark, stick, or stone, or anything, +so that it may be known; and I do further swear, that I have not, to my +knowledge or belief, been proposed and rejected in, or expelled from +any other Orange Lodge; and that I now become an Orangeman without fear, +bribery, or corruption. + +“'SO HELP ME GOD.' + + +Secret Articles. + +“'1st. That we will bear true allegiance to his majesty, king George +III., his heirs and successors, so long as he or they support the +Protestant ascendancy and that we will faithfully support and maintain +the laws and constitution of these kingdoms. + +“'2d. That we will be true to all Orangemen in all just actions, +neither wronging one, nor seeing him wronged to our knowledge, without +acquainting him thereof. + +'“3d. That we are not to see a brother offended for sixpence or one +shilling, or more, if convenient, which must be returned next meeting if +possible. + +“'4th. We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; that +may bring a brother into trouble. + +“'5th. We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any +person whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an +enemy. + +“'6th. We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is +required, if possible (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or +families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master), +otherwise we are fined as the company think proper. + +“'7th. No man can be made an Orangeman without the unanimous approbation +of the body. + +“'8th. An Orangeman is to keep a brother's secrets as his own, unless in +case of murder, treason, and perjury; and that of his own free will. + +“'9th. No Roman Catholic can be admitted on any account. + +“'10th. Any Orangeman who acts contrary to these rules shall be +expelled, and the same reported to all the Lodges in the kingdom and +elsewhere. + +“'GOD SAVE THE KING.' + + +“Among the Secret Articles are the following, which, by the way, are +pretty significant, when properly understood:-- + +“'4th--We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; that +might bring a brother into trouble.' + +“'5th--We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any +person whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an +enemy.' + +“'6th--We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is +required, if possible, (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or +families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master), +otherwise we are fined as the company think proper.' + +“The Marksman's obligation is merely a repetition of the same +description of allegiance to the king, his heirs, and successors, so +long as he or they maintain the Protestant ascendancy, &c, &c, together +with such other obligations of secrecy as are to be found either in +Orange or Ribbon Lodges, with very slight difference in their form and +expression. + +“Now, my dear Spinageberd, I first call your attention to that portion +which is headed 'Qualifications necessary for an Orangeman;' and I think +you will agree with me that it would be difficult, almost impossible, to +find in any organized society, whether open or secret, a more formidable +code of qualifications for such as may be anxious to enroll themselves +amongst its members. And I have no doubt, that had the other portions of +it been conceived and acted on in the same spirit, Orangeism would +have become a very different system from that which under its name +now influences the principles, and inflames the passions of the lower +classes of Protestants, and stimulates them too frequently to violence, +and outrage, and persecution itself, under a conviction that they +are only discharging their duties by a faithful adherence to its +obligations. These obligations, however, admirable as they are and +ably drawn up, possess neither power nor influence in the system, being +nothing more nor less than an abstract series of religious and moral +duties recommended to practice, but stript of any force of obligation +that might impress them on the heart and principles. They are not +embodied at all in the code in any shape or form that might touch the +conscience or regulate the conduct, but on the contrary, stand there as +a thing to look at and admire, but not as a matter of duty. If they had +been even drawn up as a solemn declaration, asserting on the part of the +newly made member, a conviction that strict observance of their precepts +was an indispensable and necessary part of his obligations as an +Orangeman, they might have been productive of good effect, and raised +the practices of the institution from many of the low and gross +atrocities which disgraced it. I cannot deny, however, that Orangeism, +with all its crimes and outrages, has rendered very important services +to the political Protestantism of the country. In fact, it was produced +at the period of its formation by the almost utter absence of spiritual +religion in the Established Church. Some principle was necessary to keep +Protestantism from falling to pieces, and as a good one could not be +found in a church which is at this moment one mass of sordid and selfish +secularity,* there was nothing left for it but a combination such +as this. Indeed, you could form no conception of the state of the +Protestant Church here, even while I write, although you might form +a very gorgeous one of the Establishment. The truth is she is all +Establishment and no Church; and is, to quote Swift's celebrated +simile-- + + “Like a fat corpse upon a bed, + That rots and stinks in state.” + + * Let the reader remember that this, and almost everything + that refers to the Irish Establishment, is supposed to have + been written about forty years ago. + +“There was no purifying or restraining power in the Establishment to +modify, improve, or elevate the principles of Orangeism at all. And what +has been the consequence? Why, that in attempting to infuse her spirit +into the new system she was overmatched herself, and instead of making +Orangeism Christian, the institution has made her Orange. This is fact. +The only thing we have here now in the shape of a Church is the Orange +system, for if you take that away what remains? + +“This, my dear Spinageberd, is not to be wondered at; for no effects are +without their causes. In this country nobody ever dreams of entering the +Established Church, from pure and pious motives. In such a Church piety +may be corrupted, but it is seldom rewarded. No, the description of +persons who now enter the Church are the younger sons of our nobility +and gentry, of our squires, our dignitaries, and wealthy professional +men; of our judges, generals, our deans, and our bishops. Among the sons +of such men the Church is carved out, with the exception of the chines, +and sirloins, and other best joints, all of which are devoured by +peculiar description of Englishmen, named Bishops, who are remarkable +for excessively long claws and very shark-like teeth. In this, however, +we do not blame England, but agree with Dean Swift who asserted, that in +his day, she uniformly selected the most unassuming, learned and pious +individuals she could get; fitted them out as became such excellent +Christian men, and sent them over with the best intentions imaginable, +to instruct the Irish in all Christian truth and humility. It so +happened, however, that as soon as they had reached Hounslow Heath, they +were every man, without exception, stopped, stripped, and robbed, by +the gentlemen who frequent that celebrated locality; who, thinking that +robbery on the high Church was safer and more lucrative than robbery +upon the highway, came over here instead of pious men, where they +remained in their original capacity for the remainder of their lives. + +“It is impossible, in fact, that a Church so deeply infected with +political corruption, so shamefully neglected in all that is spiritual +and regenerative, and so openly prostituted to intrigue and ambition, +can ever work with that high and holy efficacy which should characterize +her. These, however, are not her purposes, nor are they aimed at. She +exists here merely as an unholy bond between the political interests +of the two countries, maintaining British authority by her wealth, and +corrupting Irish honesty by her example. I have already enumerated the +class of persons who enter her, and touched upon the motives by which +they are influenced. In large families, for instance, if there happen +to be a young fellow either too idle, or too stupid for the labor and +duties of the other professions, there is no inconvenience or regret +felt. No matter--he Dick, or Jack, or Tom, as the case may be, will do +very well for the Church. 'You will make a very good parson, Tom--or a +Dean--or a-----no hang it, there I must stop, I was about to say Bishop, +but not being an Englishman, you cannot carve that dish, Dick. Never +mind--you can feed upon a fat living--or if one won't do--why, we must +see and get you a pair of them, Bill.' + +“But this, my dear Spinageberd, is not all. You will be surprised, when +I tell you, that there is no system of education necessary for entering +into orders. No system, I repeat--properly so called--either Scriptural +or Ecclesiastical. Some few divinity lectures are to be attended, which +in general are neither well attended--nor worth attending--and that, I +believe, is all. One thing is certain, that the getting certificates of +attendance for these lectures is a mere form, as is the examination for +orders. The consequence is, that a young candidate for a living goes +into the Church burthened with very little of that lore which might +spoil his appetite for its enjoyment; so harmoniously does everything +here work together for the good of the pastors at the expense of the +people. + +“I think I have shown you that there is little in the Church of Ireland +that is likely to regulate or purify the spirit of Orangeism when coming +in contact with itself. That it had little to gain from the Church in +a spiritual way, and that the Church is not fulfilling the ends of +her establishment here in any sense, is evident from the Report in the +little work from which I have taken these extracts. In that passage +it would appear that the very existence of a Church is forgotten +altogether; for Orangeism is termed 'an institution, whose chief +object--whatever political shape it may assume--is to preserve the +Protestant religion.' I will now, before I close this batch, direct your +attention to one or two passages that prove most distinctly the fact, +that there stand clear in this oath of an Orangeman, principles, founded +on foregone practices and conclusions, which never should have existence +in a country so situated as this is. + +“The Orangemen, for instance, in the paper headed their 'General +Declaration,' say, 'We associate for the defence of our persons and +properties, and to maintain the peace of the country; and for these +purposes we will be at all times ready to assist the civil and military +powers in the just and lawful discharge of their duty.' + +“This, now, is all very plausible, but, perhaps, by looking a little +more closely into the circumstances of the case, we may be able to +perceive that in this passage, and one or two others of a similar +character, the most objectionable part of the system lies disguised--if +one can say disguised, because to me, my dear Spinageberd, the matter +seems obvious enough. Who, then, are these men that come forward with +arms in their hands, to proffer aid to the civil and military powers in +the discharge of their duty? A self-constituted body without authority, +who have certainly proved themselves to be brave men, and rendered most +important services to the state, at a time when such services were, no +doubt, both necessary and acceptable. The crisis, however, in which this +aid was given and received, being but of brief duration, soon passed +away, leaving the party opposed to government--the rebels--broken, +punished, flogged, banished, hanged; in fact, completely discomfited, +subdued, beaten down. In other words, the rebellion of '98 having been +thoroughly suppressed, this self-elected body of men, tasting the sweets +of authority, retain, under different circumstances, these obligations, +which, we admit, the previous situation of the country had rendered +necessary. They retain them in times of peace, and bring into operation +against men who were no longer either in a disposition or capacity to +resist, those strong prejudices and that fierce spirit which, originated +in tumult and civil war. Why, nobody complains of the conduct of +Orangemen, as a, body, in '98; it is of their outrages since, that the +country, and such as were opposed to them, have a right to complain. + +“In another passage the declaration is still stronger and more +significant: 'We further declare,' say they, 'that we are exclusively a +Protestant association; yet, detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit, +we solemnly pledge ourselves to each other, that we will not persecute, +injure, nor upbraid any person on account of his religious opinions, +provided the same be not hostile to the state.' + +'“That is to say, they will persecute, injure, or upbraid such persons +only whose religious opinions are hostile to the state. But, now, let +me ask any man of common sense, if he could for a moment hesitate to +declare on oath what religion they have alluded to as being hostile to +the state? There is, in truth, but one answer to be given--the Roman +Catholic. What else, then, is this excessive loyalty to the state but a +clause of justification for their own excesses, committed in the name, +and on the behalf of religion itself? Did they not also constitute +themselves the judges who were first to determine the nature of these +opinions, and afterwards the authorities who should punish them? Here +is one triumphant party with arms in their hand, who have only, if they +wish, to mark out a victim, and declare his religion and principles +as hostile to the state; and, lo! they are at liberty, by their own +regulations, to 'persecute' him! + +“In the 5th secret article there occurs the following:--'We are not to +carry away money, goods, or anything, from any person whatever, except +arms and ammunition, and these only from an enemy.' + +“This certainly shows the nature of the cruel and domiciliary tyranny +which they, subsequently to '98, carried to such excess in different +parts of the country; and here, as in the other instance, what was there +to guide them in determining the crime which constituted an enemy? +Why, their own fierce prejudices alone. Here, then, we find a body +irresponsible and self-constituted, confederated together, and trained +in the use of arms (but literally unknown to the constitution), sitting, +without any legal authority, upon the religious opinions of a class +that are hateful and obnoxious to them--and, in fact, combining within +themselves the united offices of both judge and executioner. With +the character of their loyalty I have no quarrel; I perceive it is +conditional; but the doctrine of unconditional loyalty is so slavish and +absurd, that the sooner such an unnecessary fetterlock is struck off the +mind the better. To-morrow evening, however, I am to be introduced to an +Orange Lodge, after the actual business of it shall have been transacted +and closed. This is a privilege not conceded to many, but it is one of +which I shall very gladly avail myself, in order that I may infer from +their conduct some faint conception of what it generally is.” + + + + +CHAPTER XIX.--An Orange Lodge at Full Work + +--Solomon in all his Glory--He Defines Drinking to be a Religious +Exercise--True Blue and the Equivocal--Phil's Eloquence--A Charter +Toast. + + +From the same to the same. + +“Friday, * * * + +“The order of business for each night of meeting is, I find, as +follows:--1. Lodge to open with prayer, members standing. 2. General +rules read. 3. Members proposed. 4. Reports from committee. 5. Names of +members called over. 6. Members balloted for. 7. Members made. 8. Lodge +to close with prayer, members standing. + +“It was about eight o'clock, when, accompanied by a young fellow named +Graham, we reached the Lodge, which, in violation of one of its own +rules, was held in what was formerly called the Topertoe Tavern, but +which has since been changed to the Castle Cumber Arms--being a field +_per pale_, on which is quartered a purse, and what seems to be an +inverted utensil of lead, hammered into a coronet. In the other is a +large mouth, grinning, opposite to which is a stuffed pocket, from which +hangs the motto, '_ne quid detrimenti res privata capiat_.' Under the +foot of the gentleman is the neck of a famine-struck woman, surrounded +by naked and starving children, and it is by the convenient aid of her +neck that he is enabled to reach the purse, _or_; and, indeed, such is +his eagerness to catch it and the coronet, that he does not seem to +care much whether he strangles her or not. On the leaden coronet, is the +motto, alluding to the head which fills it, '_similis simili gaudet_.' + +“I should mention, before proceeding further, that Mr. Valentine +M'Clutchy, being master of the Lodge in question, was the individual +from whom I had received permission to be present under the +circumstances already specified. The ceremony of making a member is +involved in that ridiculous mystery which is calculated to meet the +vulgar prejudices of low and ignorant men. Sometimes they are made one +by one, and occasionally, or, I believe, more frequently in batches +of three or more, in order to save time and heighten the effect. The +novice, then, before entering the Lodge, is taken into another room, +where he is blindfolded, and desired to denude himself of his shoes +and stockings, his right arm is then taken out of his coat and shirt +sleeves, in order to leave his right shoulder bare. He then enters the +Lodge, where he is received in silence with the exception of the master, +who puts certain queries to him, which must be appropriately answered. +After this he receives on the naked shoulder three smart slaps of +the open hand, as a proof of his willingness to bear every kind +of persecution for the sake of truth--of his steadfastness to the +principles of Orangeism, and of his actual determination to bear +violence, and, if necessary, death itself, rather than abandon it or +betray his brethren. + +“About nine o'clock the business of the Lodge had been despatched, +and in a few minutes I received an intimation to enter from the Deputy +Master, who was no other than the redoubtable and heroic Phil himself; +the father having been prevented from coming, it appeared, by sudden +indisposition. As I entered, they were all seated, to the number of +thirty-five or forty, about a long table, from which rose, reeking and +warm, the powerful exhalations of strong punch. On paying my respects, I +was received and presented to them by Phil, who on this occasion, was +in great feather, being rigged out in all the paraphernalia of Deputy +Master. The rest, also, were dressed in their orange robes, which +certainly gave them a good deal of imposing effect. + +“'Gentlemen,' said Phil,--'Bob Sparrow, I'll trouble you to touch the +bell, and be d--d to you--gentlemen, this is a particular friend of mine +and my father's--that is, we intend to make a good deal of interest in +him, if it's not his own fault, and to push him on in a way that may +serve him--but, then, he's in the dark yet; however, I hope he won't be +long so. This, gentlemen, is Mr. Weasel from England, who has come over +to see the country.' + +“'Your health, Mr. Weasel,' resounded from all sides, 'you're welcome +among us, and so is every friend of brother Captain Phil's.' + +“'Gentlemen,' said I,' I feel much obliged for the cordiality of your +reception--but, allow me to say, that Mr. M'Clutchy has made a slight +mistake in my name, which is Easel, not Weasel.' + +“'Never mind, sir,' they replied, among a jingle of glasses, which +almost prevented me from being heard, 'never mind, Mr. Evil, we don't +care a curse what your name is, provided you're a good Protestant. Your +name may be Belzebub, instead of Evil, or Devil, for that matter--all we +want to know is, whether you're staunch and of the right metal.' + +“'That, gentlemen,' I replied, 'I trust time will tell' + +“'I shall be very proud--I speak it not, I hope, in a worldly sense,' +said a little thin man dressed in black--'no, not in a worldly sense I +shall be proud, sir, of your acquaintance. To me it is quite sufficient +that you are here as the friend of my excellent friend, Mr. Valentine +M'Clutchy; a man, I trust, not without a deep and searching spirit of--' + +“'Come, Solomon,' said a large, broad-shouldered man, with a face in +which were singularly blended the almost incompatible principles of fun +and ferocity, 'Come, Solomon, none of your preaching here so soon--you +know you're not up to the praying point yet, nor within four tumblers of +it. So, as you say yourself, wait for your gifts, my lad.' + +“'Ah, Tom,' replied Solomon with a smile, 'alway's facetious--always +fond of a harmless and edifying jest.' + +“'My name, sir,' added he, 'is M'Slime; I have the honor to be Law Agent +to the Castle Cumber property, and occasionally to transact business +with our friend M'Clutchy.' + +“Here the waiter entered with a glass and tumbler, and Phil desired them +to shove me up the decanter. This, however, I declined, as not being yet +sufficiently accustomed to whiskey punch to be able to drink it without +indisposition. I begged, however, to be allowed to substitute a little +cold sherry and water in its stead. + +“'I'm afeard, sir,' observed another strong-looking man, 'that you are +likely to prove a cool Orangeman on our hands. I never saw the man that +shied his tumbler good for much.' + +“'Sir,' said Solomon, 'you need not feel surprised at the tone of voice +and familiarity in which these persons address you or me. They are, so +to speak, sturdy and independent men, who, to the natural boldness +of their character, add on such occasions as this, something of the +equality and license that are necessarily to be found in an Orange +Lodge. I am myself here, I trust, on different and higher principles. +Indeed it is from a purely religious motive that I come, as well as +to give them the benefit of a frail, but not, I would hope, altogether +unedifying example. Their language makes me often feel now much I stand +in need of grace, and how good it is sometimes for me to be tempted +within my strength. I also drink punch here, lest by declining it I +might get into too strong a feeling of pride, in probably possessing +greater gifts; and I need not say, sir, that a watchful Christian will +be slow to miss any opportunity of keeping himself humble. It is, then, +for this purpose that I sometimes, when among these men, make +myself even as one of them, and humble myself, always with an eye to +edification even to the fourth or fifth cup.' + +“'But I trust, sir, that these Christian descents from your vantage +ground are generally rewarded.' + +“'Without boasting, I trust I may say so. These little sacrifices of +mine are not without their own appropriate compensations. Indeed, it +is seldom that such stretches of duty on the right side, and for the +improvement of others, are made altogether in vain. For instance, after +the humility--if I can call it so--of the third cup, I am rewarded +with an easy uprising of the spiritual man--a greater sense of inward +freedom--an elevation of the soul--a benign beatitude of spirit, that +diffuses a calm, serene happiness through my whole being.' + +“'That, sir, must be delightful.' + +“'It is delightful, but it is what these men--carnal I do not wish to +call them lest I fall--it is, however, what these men--or, indeed, +any merely carnal man, cannot feel. This, however, I feel to be a +communication made to me, that in this thing I should not for the time +stop; and I feel that I am not free to pass the fourth or fifth cup, +knowing as how greater freedom and additional privileges will be +granted.' + +“'Are the stages marked, sir, between the fourth and fifth tumblers?' + +“'Cups, my friend--there is a beauty, sir, in the economy of this that +is not to be concealed. For instance, the line between the third and +fourth cups is much better marked, and no doubt for wiser purposes, than +is that between the fourth and fifth. At the fourth my spirit is filled +with strong devotional tendencies--and it is given to me to address +the Lodge with something like unctional effect; but at the fifth this +ecstatic spirit rises still higher, and assumes the form of praise, and +psalms, spiritual songs, and political anthems. In this whole assembly, +I am sorry to say, that there is but one other humble individual who, +if I may so speak, is similarly gifted, and goes along with me, _pari +passu_, as they say, step by step, and cup by cup, until we reach the +highest order, which is praise. But, indeed, to persons so gifted in +their liquor, drinking is decidedly a religious exercise. That person +is the little fellow to the right of the red-faced man up yonder, the +little fellow I mean, who is pale in the face and wants an eye. His name +is Bob Spaight; he is grand cobbler, by appointment, to the Lodge, and +attends all the Popish executions in the province, from principle; for +he is, between you and me, a Christian man of high privileges. As for +our little touches of _melodia sacra_ during the fifth cup, the only +drawback is, that no matter what the measure of the psalm be, whether +long or short, Bob is sure to sing it either to the tune of _Croppies +lie Down_, or the _Boyne Water_, they being the only two he can manage; +a circumstance which forces us, however otherwise united, to part +company in the melody, unless when moved by compassion for poor Bob, I +occasionally join him in _Croppies lie Down_ or the other tune, for the +purpose of sustaining him as a Christian and Orangeman.' + +“At this time it was with something like effort that he or I could +hear each other as we spoke, and, by the way, it was quite evident that +little Solomon was very nearly in all his glory, from the very slight +liquefaction of language which, might be observed in his conversation. + +“It occurred to me now, that as Solomon's heart was a little bit open, +and as the tide of conversation flowed both loud and tumultuous, it was +a very good opportunity of getting out of him a tolerably fair account +of the persons by whom we were surrounded. I accordingly asked him the +name and occupation of several whom I had observed as the most striking +individuals present. + +“'That large man with the red face,' said I, 'beside your pious and +musical friend Spaight--who is he?' + +“'He is an Orange butcher, sir, who would think very little of giving +a knock on the head to any Protestant who won't deal with him. His +landlord's tenants are about half Catholics and half Protestants, and +as he makes it a point to leave them his custom in about equal degrees, +this fellow--who, between you and me--is right in the principle, if +he would only carry it out a little more quietly--makes it a standing +grievance every lodge night. And, by and by, you will hear them abuse +each other like pickpockets for the same reason. There is a grim-looking +fellow, with the great fists, a blacksmith, who is at deadly enmity +with that light firm-looking man--touching the shoeing of M'Clutchy's +cavalry. Val, who knows a thing or two, if I may so speak, keeps them +one off and the other on so admirably, that he contrives to get his +own horses shod and all his other iron work done, free, _gratis_, for +nothing between them. This is the truth, brother Weasel: in fact my dear +brother Weasel, it is the truth. There are few here who are not moved by +some personal hope or expectation from something or from somebody. Down +there near the door are a set of fellows--whisper in your ear--about as +great scoundrels as you could meet with; insolent, fierce, furious +men, with bad passions and no principles, whose chief delight is to get +drunk--to kick up party feuds in fairs and markets, and who have, in +fact, a natural love for strife. But all are not so. There are many +respectable men here who, though a little touched, as is only natural +after all, by a little cacoethes of self-interest, yet, never suffer it +to interfere with the steadiness and propriety of their conduct, or the +love of peace and good will. It is these men, who, in truth, sustain the +character of the Orange-Institution. These are the men of independence +and education who repress--as far as they can--the turbulence and +outrage of the others. But harken! now they begin.' + +“At this moment the din in the room was excessive. Phil had now begun to +feel the influence of liquor, as was evident from the frequent thumpings +which the table received at his hand--the awful knitting of his +eyebrows, as he commanded silence--and the multiplicity of 'd--n my +honors,' which interlarded his conversation. + +“'Silence, I say,' he shouted; 'd--n my honor if I'll bear this. Here's +Mr. Weasel--eh--Evil, or Devil; d--n my honor, I forget--who has come +ov--over all the way--(All the way from Galloway, is that it?--go +on)--all the way from England, to get a good sample of Protestantism to +bring home with him to distribute among his father's tenantry. Now if +he can't find that among ourselves to-night, where the devil would, or +could, or ought he to go look for it?' + +“'Hurra--bravo--hear brother Captain Phil.' + +“'Yes, gentlemen,' continued Phil, rising up; 'yes, Mr. +Civil--Evil--Devil; d--n my honor, I must be on it now--I am bold to say +that we are--are--a set of--' + +“'Hurra--hurra--we are, brother Captain Phil' + +“'And, gentlemen, not only that, but true blues. (Three cheers for the +Castle Cumber True Blue.) And what's a true blue, gentlemen? I ask +you zealously--I ask you as a gentleman--I ask you as a man--I ask you +determinedly, as one that will do or die, if it comes to that'--(here +there was a thump on the table at every word)--I ask you as an officer +of the Castle Cumber Cavalry--and, gentlemen, let any man that hears +me--that hears me, I say--because, gentlemen, I ask upon independent +principles, as the Deputy-Master of this Lodge, gentlemen--(cheers, +hurra, hurra)--and the question is an important one--one of the greatest +and most extraordinary comprehension, so to speak; because, gentlemen, +it involves--this great question does--it involves the welfare of his +majesty, gentlemen, and of the great and good King William, gentlemen, +who freed us from Pope and Popery, gentlemen, and wooden shoes, +gentlemen--' + +“'But not from wooden spoons, gentlemen,' in a disguised voice from the +lower end of the table. + +“'Eh?--certainly not--certainly not--I thank my worthy brother for +the hint. No, gentlemen, we unfortunately have wooden spoons up to +the present day; but, gentlemen, if we work well together--if we be +in earnest--if we draw the blade and throw away the scabbard, like our +brothers, the glorious heroes of Scullabogue--there is as little doubt, +gentlemen, as that the sun this moment--the moon, gentlemen; I beg +pardon--shines this moment, that we will yet banish wooden spoons, as +the great and good King William did Popery, brass money, and wooden +shoes. Gentlemen, you will excuse me for this warmth; but I am not +ashamed of it--it is the warmth, gentlemen, that keeps us cool in the +moment--the glorious, pious and immortal moment of danger and true +loyalty, and attachment to our Church, which we all love and practise +on constitutional principles. I trust, gentlemen, you will excuse me +for this historical account of my feelings--they are the principles, +gentlemen, of a gentleman--of a man--of an officer of the Castle Cumber +Cavalry--and lastly of him who has the honor--the glorious, pious, +and immortal honor, I may say, to hold the honorable situation of +Deputy-Master of this honorable Lodge. Gentlemen, I propose our charter +toast, with nine times nine--the glorious, pious, and immortal memory. +Take the time, gentlemen, from me--hip, hip, hurra.' + +“'Brother M'Clutchy,' said a solemn-looking man, dressed in black, 'you +are a little out of order--or if not out of order, you have, with +great respect, travelled beyond the usages of the Lodge. In the first +place--of course you will pardon me--I speak with great respect--but, in +the first place, you have proposed the charter toast, before that of +the King, Protestant Ascendancy, Church and State; and besides, have +proposed it with nine times nine, though it is always drunk in solemn +silence.' + +“'In all truth and piety, I deny that,' replied little Bob Spaight. +'When I was in Lodge Eleventeen, eleven-teen--no, seventeen, ay, +seventeen--we always, undher God, drank it with cheers. Some of them +danced--but othes I won't name them, that were more graciously gifted, +chorused it with that blessed air of '_Croppies lie Down_,' and +sometimes with the precious psalm of the '_Boyne Water_.' + +“'I'm obliged to Mr. Hintwell for his observations, for I'm sure they +were well meant; but, gentlemen, with every respect for his--his greater +and more tractable qualifications, I must say, that I acted from zeal, +from zeal--zeal, gentlemen, what's an Orangeman without zeal? I'll tell +you what he is--an Orangeman without zeal is a shadow without a light, +a smoke without a fire,' or a Papist without treason. That's what he's +like, and now, having answered him, I think I may sit down.' + +“Phil, however, whose first night of office it happened to be, as +Chairman of the Lodge, had still sense enough about him to go on with +the toasts in their proper order. He accordingly commenced with the +King, Protestant Ascendancy, the Gates of Bandon, with several other +toasts peculiar to the time and place. At length he rose and said:-- + +“'Gentlemen, are you charged--fill high, gentlemen, for, though it's a +low toast, we'll gloriously rise and drink it--are you all charged?' + +“'All charged, hurra, captain!' + +“'Here, gentlemen, another of our charter toast--The pope in the +pillory, the pillory in hell, and the devils pelting him with priests! +Gentlemen, I cannot let that--that beautiful toast pass without--out +adding a few words to it. Gentlemen it presents a glorious sight, a +glorious, pious, and immortal memory of the great and good--ha, beg +pardon, gentlemen--a glorious, pious, and immortal sight--think of the +pillory, gentlemen, isn't that in itself a glorious and pious sight? And +think of the pope, gentlemen; isn't the pope also a glorious and pious +sight?' + +“'With all truth and piety, and undher God, I deny that,' said Bob +Spaight. + +“'And so do I,' said a second. + +“'And I,' added a third. + +“'What damned Popish doctrine is this?' said several others. + +“'Brother Phil, be good enough to recollect yourself,' said Solomon, +'we feel, that as a Protestant and Orangeman, you are not doctrinally +correct now; be steady, or rather steadfast--fast in the faith.' + +“Phil, however, looked oracles, his whole face and person were literally +being expanded, as it were, with the consciousness of some immediate +triumph. + +“'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'have a little patience--I say the pope is a +glorious and pious sight--' + +“'Undher God--' + +“'Silence Bob.' + +“'But I mean when he's in the pillory--ek; d--n my honor, I have you all +there! ha, ha, ha!' + +“'Hurra, hurra, three cheers more for the captain!' + +“'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'please to fill again--I give you now the +Castle Cumber press, the _True Blue and Equivocal_, with the healths of +Messrs. Yellowboy and Cantwell.' + +“'Hurra! Messrs. Yallowboy and Cant-well! hurra, Mr. Yellow, Mr. +Yellow.' + +“Mr. Yellowboy, who had not been able to come earlier, in consequence of +the morrow being publishing day with him, now rose. He was a tall, thin, +bony-looking person, who might very well have taken his name from his +complexion. + +“'Mr. Chairman, gentlemen, and brothers--I rise with great and powerful +diffidence to speak, to express myself, and to utter my sentiments +before this most respectable, and, what is more, truly loyal +auditory--hem. In returning thanks, gentlemen, for the Castle Cumber +True Blue (cheers), I am sure I am not actuated by any motive but that +staunch and loyal one which stimulates us all--hem. The True Blue, +gentlemen, is conducted--has been conducted--and shall be conducted to +all eternity--should I continue to be so long at the head of it--so long +I say, gentlemen'--here the speaker's eye began to roll--and he slapped +the table with vehemence--'I shall, if at the head of it so long, +conduct it to all eternity upon the self-same, identical, underivating +principles that have identified me with it for the last six months. +What's Pruddestantism, gentlemen, without a bold, straightforward press +to take care of its pruvileges and interests? It's nothing, gentlemen.' + +“'Undher God, sir, and with all piety and perseverance I deny--' + +“'Silence, brother Bob, don't interrupt Mr. Yellowboy, he'll make +himself plain by and by.' + +“'I deny--' + +“'Silence--I say.' + +“'Nothing, gentlemen--a candle that's of no use unless it's lit--and +the press is the match that lights it (hurra, cheers). But, as I said +in defending Pruddestantism, we advocate civil and religious liberty all +over the world--I say so boldly--for, gentlemen, whatever I say, I do +say boldly'--here he glanced at the Equivocal--'I am not the man to +present you with two faces--or I'm not the man rather to carry +two faces--and only show you one of them--I'm not the man to make +prutensions as a defender of civil and religious liberty, with a +Protestant face to the front of my head, and a Popish face in +my pocket--to be produced for the adversary of Popery and +idolatry--whenever I can conciliate a clique by doing so.' Here there +was a look of sarcastic defiance turned upon Cantwell--who, conscious of +his own integrity--merely returned it with a meek and benignant smile, a +la Solomon. + +“'No, gentlemen, I am none of those things--but a bold, honest, +uncompermising Pruddestant--who will support the church and Constitution +for ever--who will uphold Pruddestant Ascendancy to the Day of +Judgment--keep down Popery and treason--and support civil and religious +liberty over the world to all eternity.' + +“'Cheers--hurra--hurra--success brother Yellowboy.' + +“'And now, gentlemen, before I sit down there is but one observation +more that I wish to make. If it was only idontified with myself I would +never notice it--but it's not only idontified with me but with you, +gentlemen--for I am sorry to say there is a snake in the grass--a base, +dangerous, Equivocal, crawling reptile among us--who, wherever truth and +loyalty is concerned, never has a leg to stand upon, or can put a pen +to paper but with a deceitful calumniating attention. He who can divulge +the secrets of our Lodge'--(Here there was another furious look sent +across which received a polite bow and smile as before)--'who can +divulge, gentlemen, the secrets of our Lodge, and allude to those who +have been there--I refer, gentlemen, to a paragraph that appeared in the +Equivocal some time ago--in which a hint was thrown out that I was found +by the editor of that paper lying-drunk in the channel of Castle Cumber +Main-street, opposite his office--that he brought me in, recovered +me, and then helped me home. Now, gentlemen, I'll just mention one +circumstance that will disprove the whole base and calumnious charge--it +is this--on rising next morning I found that I had eight and three +halfpence safe in my pocket--and yet that reptile says that he carried +me into his house!!! Having thus, gentlemen, triumphantly refuted that +charge, I have the pleasure of drinking your healths--the healths of all +honest men, and confusion to those who betray the secrets of an Orange +Lodge!' + +“As each paper had its party in the Lodge, it is not to be supposed that +this attack upon the Editor of the Equivocal was at all received with +unanimous approbation. Far from it. Several hisses were given, which +again were met by cheers, and these by counter cheers. In this +disorder Mr. Cantwell rose, his face beaming with mildness and +benignity--sweetness and smiles--and having bowed, stood all meekness +and patience until the cheering was over. + +“'Brother Cantwell,' said Solomon, 'remember to discard +self-reliance--let thy sup--support be from '--but before he could +finish, brother Cantwell turned round, and blandly bowing to him, seemed +to say--for-he did not speak-- + +“'My dear brother M'Slime, I follow your admirable advice; you see I +do--I shall' + +“'Mr. Chairman,' said he, 'gentlemen and dear brothers'--here he paused +a moment, whilst calmly removing the tumbler out of his way that he +might have room to place his hand upon the table and gently lean towards +the chairman. He then serenely smoothed down the frill of his shirt, +during which his friends cheered--and ere commencing he gave them +another short, and, as it were, parenthetical bow. 'Mr. Chairman, +gentlemen, and dear brothers, I do not rise upon this very unpleasant +occasion--unpleasant to me it is, but not on my account--for the purpose +of giving vent to the coarse effusions of an unlettered mind, that +shapes its vulgar outpourings in bad language and worse feeling. No, I +am incapable of the bad feeling, in the first place, and, thanks to +my education, of illiterate language, in the second. It has pleased my +friend Mr. Yellowboy--if he will still allow me to call him so--for I +appeal to you all whether it becomes those who sit under this hallowed +roof to disagree--it has pleased him, I say, to bring charges against +me, to some of which I certainly must plead guilty--if guilt there be +in it. It has pleased him to charge me with the unbrotherly crime, the +unchristian crime, the un-orange crime'--here he smiled more blandly +at every term, and then brought his smiling eye to bear on his +antagonist--'of lifting him out of the channel about twelve o'clock +at night, where he lay--I may say so among ourselves--in state of most +comfortable, but un-orange-like intoxication.' + +“The audience now being mostly drunk, were tickled with this compliment +to their sobriety, and cheered and shouted for more than a minute. 'Go +on Cantwell! By Japers, you're no blockhead!' + +“'Under Providence, and with all piety I say it, he will vanquish the +yallow sinner over there.' + +“'Brother Cantwell,' observed Mr. M'Slime, 'go on--the gift is not +withheld.' + +“Another smiling bow to M'Slime, as much as to say, 'I know it's not--I +feel it's not.' + +“'This, gentlemen, and dear brothers, was my crime--I acted the good +Samaritan towards him--that was my crime. May I often commit it!' + +“'Is that your pretended charity, sir?' said Yellowboy, whose temper +was sorely tried by the other's calmness; 'don't you know, sir, that you +cannot become the Samaritan unless I become the drunkard? and yet you +hope often to commit it!' + +“No notice whatsoever taken of this. + +“'--But perhaps there was still a greater crime in this affair. I +allude to the crime of having, after the account of his frailty had +taken wind through the whole country, ventured to defend it, or rather +to place it in such a light as might enable the public to place it to +the account of mere animal exhaustion, independent of the real +cause. And I have reason to know, that to a very enlarged extent I +succeeded--for many persons having heard of the circumstance in its +worse and most offensive sense, actually came to my office--' + +“'Yes, after you had made it public, as far as you could.' + +“'--To my office, to inquire into it. And I assure you all, gentlemen, +that from motives at once of the Christian and the Orangeman, I merely +informed them that the gentleman had certainly had, about the time +specified, a very severe fit--I did not add of intoxication--oh the +contrary, I charitably stopped there, and now it would appear that this +forbearance on my part is another crime. But even that is not all. The +occasion which called forth the paragraph in the paper which I have +honor to conduct, was one which I shall just allude to. Some time ago +there was inserted in the True Blue a short article headed 'Susanna and +the Elder,' in which certain vague and idle reports, fabricated by some +person who bears enmity to a most respectable Christian gentleman, who +honors us this moment with his presence--' + +“Solomon here approached him, and grasping his hand, exclaimed-- + +“'Thank you, my dear brother Cantwell--thank you a hundred times; +yours is the part of a true Christian; so go on, I entreat you--here is +nothing to be ashamed of--I know it is good to be tried.' + +“'Now it was really the charity contained in the article from the True +Blue that struck me so forcibly--for it not only breathed the scandal so +gently, as that it would scarcely stain a mirror--and it did not stain +the mirror against which the report was directed--but it placed it as +it were, before his eyes, that he might not be maligned without his +knowledge, on taking steps to triumph over it, which our friend did--and +great was his triumph and meekly was it borne on the occasion. With +respect to my political creed, gentlemen, you all know it is my boast +that I belong to no party. I advocate broad and general principles; and +the more comprehensive they are, so does my love of kind take a wider +range. I am a patriot, that is my boast--a moderate man--an educated +man; I am, at least, a competent master of the English language, which I +trust I can write and speak like a gentleman. I am not given to low +and gross habits of life; I am never found in a state of beastly +intoxication late at night, or early in the day; nor do I suffer my +paper to become the vehicle of gratifying that private slander or +personal resentment which I am not capable of writing myself, and +have not the courage to acknowledge as a man. I am not a poor, kicked, +horse-whipped, and degraded scoundrel, whose malignity is only surpassed +by my cowardice--whose principal delight is to stab in the dark--a +lurking assassin, but not an open murderer--a sneaking, skulking thief, +without the manliness of the highwayman--a pitiful, servile--but, I +believe, I have said enough. Well, gentlemen, I trust I am none of +these; nor am I saying who is. Perhaps it would be impossible to find +them all centred in the same man; but if it were, it would certainly +be quite as extraordinary to find that man seated at an Orange Lodge. +Brother Yellowboy, I have the pleasure of drinking your health.' + +“Brother Yellowboy felt that he was no match at all for Cantwell; so in +order to escape the further venom of his tongue, he drank his in return, +and joined in the cheers with which his speech was received; for by this +time the audience cared not a fig what was said by either party.” + + + + +CHAPTER XX.--Sobriety and Loyalty + +--A Checkered Dialogue--The Beauty and Necessity of Human Frailty +--A Burning and Shining Light Going Home in the Dark--The Value of a +Lanthorn. + + +“The character or forms of decency which had hitherto prevailed, now +began to disappear. M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, or wreckers--for they +were indiscriminately termed both--having drank a great deal of liquor, +became quite violent, and nothing now was heard but party songs, loud +talk, and offensive toasts, mingled with a good deal of personal abuse, +and private jealousies of each other's influence with M'Clutchy. + +“'D--n your blood, Grimes, I'm as loyal as ever you were. Wasn't +my grandfather a Tory hunter, who houghed and hanged more bloody +Papishes--' + +“'Who's that,' said Bob, 'talking about hanging Papishes? Where--where +are they to be hanged? Under God, I have seen more of the villains +hanged than any other frail sinner in the province. Oh, it is a +consoling--a sustaining sight!' + +“'What's the reason, then, that the Protestant gentry of the country +don't stand by their own? Why do they deal with Papishes? By Japers they +don't daserve us to stand by them.' + +“'I say, Fulton, it's a d--d lie. I was at the wrecking of the +Ballygrass Threshers, when you shabbed sickness and wouldn't go.' + +“'And I am glad I didn't. A purty business you made of it--to pull down +the houses, and wreck the furniture about the ears of a set of women and +children; I say such conduct is disgraceful to Orangemen.' + +“'An' what the devil right have you to expect the sargeantship, then, +when you won't perform its duties?' + +“'I don't care a d--n about you or it. The Pope in the pillory, the +pillory in h--l--' + +“'--Sent the bullet through his palm, and kept his finger and thumb +together ever since-- + +“'Lerolero lillibullero, lillibullerobuuenela.'-- + + '--Sleet or slaughter, holy water, + Sprinkle the Catholics every one; + Cut them asunder, and make them lie undher, + The Protestant boys will carry their own.--. + +“'They can never stand the guns--the lead makes them fly--and, by +Japers, they'll get it.--' + +“'What health, man? out with it; are we to sit here all night for it?--' + +“'He gets half his bread from a d----d Papish, merely because, he's his +tenant--instead of getting the whole of it from me, that's better than a +tenant, a brother Orangeman-- + + “'King James he pitched his tents between + The lines for to retire; + But King William threw his bomb balls in, + And set them all on fire.'-- + +“In fact the confusion of Babel was nothing to it now, every voice was +loud, and what between singing, swearing, shouting, arguing, drinking +toasts, and howling, of various descriptions, it would not be easy to to +find anything in any other country that could be compared to it. + +“Phil himself was by this time nearly as drunk as any of them, but in +consequence of several hints from those who preserved their sobriety, +and several of them did, he now got to his legs, and called silence. + +“'Silence, sil-sil-silence, I say, d--n my honor if I'll bear this. Do +you think (hiccup) we can separate without drinking the Castle +Cu-Cumber toast. Fill, gentle-(hic-cup)-men, here's Lord Cumber and +the Castle-Castle Cu-Cumber property, with the health of +Sol-Sol-Solo-Solomon M'Slime, Esq.-- + + “'For God will be our king this day, + And I'll be the general over--eh--over--no, no, under.'-- + +“'Under, I believe (hiccup)--' + +“'Silence, there, I say.' + +“'My friends--my dear friends,' said Solomon--'my brothers--Christian +brethren, I should say, for you are Christian brethren--Lord Cumber's +health is a good thing, and his property is a good thing; and I--I +return you thanks for it, as I am bound to do, as a Christian. Am I +Christian? Well--' (here he smiled, and laying his hand upon his heart, +added,) 'well I know what I feel here, that is all. My dear friends, I +said that Lord Cumber's health and property were good things, but I know +a thing that's better, more valuable, richer--and what is that? It +is here, in this poor frail--but not frail so long as that thing is +here--that thing, what is it? Oh, if you had prayed for it, wrestled +for it, fought for it, as I did, you would know what it is, and all the +delightful and elevating consolations it brings along with it. Surely +some one drank Lord Cumber's health! That was well; he sitteth in a high +place, and deserveth honor. Let us drink his health, my friends--let us +drink it, yea, abundantly, even unto rejoicing. But what is this thing? +Why, it is the sense of inward support, a mild, sweet light, that +diffuses pleasant thoughts through you, that multiplies every good gift +about you, that makes one cup of pleasant liquor seem two. It is not +to many that these things are vouchsafed; not, I believe, to any here, +always with humility and fear be it spoken, excepting Bob Spaight and +myself-- + +“'--July the first in Oldbridge town, + +responded Bob, + + “' There was a grievous battle, + Where many a man lay on the ground, + By the cannons that did rattle.'-- + +“'Yea,' pursued Bob, 'the gift is come, brother Solomon--the fifth cup +always brings it-- + +--'King James he pitched his tents between'-- + +“'Aye, but, brother Bob,' resumed Solomon, 'the gift is a little too +soon on this occasion. Let me give the words, and, Bob, if you could +manage the 'Protestant Boys,' rather than 'Croppies lie Down,' it would +suit it; and, indeed, it would be well if the whole congregation joined +us in it. I shall give the words--let me see, long measure, eight lines, +four nines, and four six-sixes;-- + + “'There's nought but care on every hand, + In every hour that passes, oh, + What signifies the life o' man, + An' 'twere not for the lasses, oh.” + +eh, let me see--am I right?' + +“'Right,' they shouted, 'never were half so right, Solomon. We'll join +you to a man,' and accordingly, with one voice, they gave the stanza +at the top of their voices, little Bob leading them, to the air of +'Croppies lie Down,' in a style that was perfectly irresistible. + +“Thus ended a night in an Orange Lodge, but not so out of it. Those who +had to go any distance, were armed, and the consequence was, that when +they got into the street, they commenced their usual courses: shots were +fired in every direction, offensive songs were sung--any money for the +face of a Papist--to hell with the Pope--Ram down Catholics, and so +on. At length, by degrees these all ceased, the streets gradually grew +quiet, then still, and another night closed upon the habits of a class +of men, who, in the wantonness of their power, scarcely knew what they +did. + +“Having witnessed the scene just described--a scene that accounted very +clearly for at least one important phase of Irish life--I deemed it full +time to go to bed, this being the inn in which I stop. I accordingly was +about to ascend the staircase, from the lobby, for we sat in the back +drawing-room, when I thought I heard a voice that was not unfamiliar to +me, giving expression to language--in which I could perceive there was +a very peculiar blending of love and devotion; that is to say, it was +exceedingly difficult, from the admirable tact with which he balanced +the application of the two principles, whether Solomon, for it was he, +loved the physical or the spiritual system of the barmaid, for it was +she, with more earnestness and warmth. The family at this time had all +retired for the night, with the exception of boots, and the barmaid in +question, a well made, pretty Irish girl, with a pair of roguish eyes in +her head, that beamed with fun and good humor. Solomon, instead of going +home, had got into a little retired spot behind the bar, called the +snuggery, and into which, of course, she attended him with a glass of +liquor. + +“'Eliza,' said Solomon, 'Eliza, I have often had an intention of asking +you to allow me the privilege and the pleasure, Eliza, of some serious +conversation with you. It is a trying world, a wicked world, and to--to +a girl--so charming a girl as you are, Eliza--' + +“'Charming, Mr. M'Slime; well, well!' + +“'Charming, certainly, as regards your person, your external +person--your person is indeed very charming, and verily, Eliza, this +brandy and water is truly precious, so beautifully blended, that I +cannot--now, Eliza, will you pardon me a small, but, I trust, not +unedifying joke; yes, you will--I know--I see you will--very well, then, +the little joke is pardoned--this brandy and water are so beautifully +blended, that I cannot help thinking there is something in that sweet +hand of yours that diffuses a delicious flavor upon it--I know that such +things exist.' + +“'Upon my word, Mr. M'Slime, from such a religious gentleman as you are, +I didn't expect--' + +“'Ah, my dear Eliza, that is coming to the root of the matter, and I +am glad to find that you are not insensible to it. On that subject, my +sweet girl, and you are a sweet girl--it is that I propose to speak +with you--to commune with you--in a spirit, my dear Eliza, of love and +affection. Will you then take a seat--a seat, my dear Eliza.' + +“'I fear I cannot, sir; you know there is no one else to keep an eye to +the bar.' + +“'The business of the bar, my dear girl, is over for this night; but +not, I trust--sincerely trust--that of the sweet barmaid; do sit, Eliza, +pray be seated, and let me have a word with you in season; thank you, +but not at such a distance, Eliza, such an inconvenient distance; I say +inconvenient--because--ugh, ugh, I have caught a slight cold--as a trial +it came--and I will receive it so, that has fallen for the time--ugh, +ugh, ugh--upon my lungs, and renders it a good deal troublesome to me +to speak loud; so that the nearer you sit--and it has affected my head +a little, only with a slight deafness, though, which--were you speaking, +my dear?' + +“'No, sir.' + +“'Yes, so I thought, you were saying something--will soon pass away.' + +“I thought this dialogue, on the part of M'Slime, too characteristic +to be lost. I accordingly stole somewhat near the snuggery, until I got +into a position from whence I could see them clearly, without being seen +myself. It was quite evident from the humor, which, in spite of a demure +face glinted from her eye, that Eliza's object was to occasion M'Slime +to assume his real character, for I could easily see that from time to +time she felt very considerable difficulty in suppressing her laughter. + +“'The deafness, Eliza, I feel particularly troublesome, though not +painful; as while transacting business it f-forces me to sit so, very +close to my clients.' + +“'But I am not a client, Mr. M'Slime, and you need not draw your chair +so close to me--there now, that will do.' + +“'You are my sweet--sweet girl; you are my client--and you shall be my +client--and upon a most important subject--the most important of all; +verily, Eliza, this is a most delicious cup of refreshment. How did +you flavor it--but, indeed, if I were, as I have been, before I was +graciously called and chosen, I would have recourse to a harmless +gallantry, and say that this most ambrosial beverage must have caught +its sweetness from your lips--its fragrance from your breath--and its +lustre from your eyes--I would say so--if I were as I have been--and, +indeed, as I am--even yet, frail, Eliza, still frail, and very far, +indeed, from perfection--but--still, even as I am I could scarcely +scruple to relapse a little--yea, only a little, Eliza, for the sake of +such lips--of such eyes--and such a fragrant breath. Alas! we are all +frail.' + +“'But, Mr. M'Slime, I surely didn't think that you who stand so high +in the religious world, and that the people look upon as a saint, would +talk as you do.' + +“'Ah, Eliza, my dear girl, it is very natural for you in your hitherto +darkened state to say so; but, sweet Eliza, if you had your privileges, +you could understand me. For instance, in the indulgence of this +precious little dialogue with you, I am only following up a duty that +strengthens myself; for, Eliza, my precious creature, if more light were +given you, you would be permitted to feel that an occasional lapse is +for our good, by showing us our own weakness and how little we can do +of ourselves. No--there is nothing which gives us so much confidence and +strength as to know our own weakness; but, my sweet girl, of what use is +it for us to know it, if we do not feel it; and why feel it--unless we +suffer it for better purposes to teach us a practical lesson to humble +us.' + +“'That's queer doctrine, Mr. M'Slime, and I don't properly understand +it.' + +“'I know you don't, my darling girl; for it has not been given to you, +as yet, to understand it. Nay, it seems, as it were, a stumbling block +to you, in your present state.' + +“'Why, do you think me so very great a sinner, sir?' + +“'Not by acts, Eliza--and what a soft name is Eliza--soft as a pillow +of down--but by condition. You are exalted now, upon pride--not personal +pride, but the pride of position. You think you are incapable of error +or infirmity, but you must be brought--down to a sense of your own +frailty, as it were, for it is upon a consciousness of that, that you +must build.' + +“'That is to say, I must commit sin first, in order to know the grace of +repentance afterwards.' + +“'You put it too strongly, Eliza; but here is the illustration:--You +know it is said 'there is joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, +more than over ninety and nine just men.' And I know many, Eliza, who go +through a long course of virtuous iniquity, in order that their triumph +in the end may be the greater. I have myself practised it on a small +way, and found it refreshing. And now, Eliza, bring me another cup of +brandy and water, even for my stomach's sake; and, Eliza, my +charming girl, put it to those sweet lips--that it may catch the true +fragrance--Christian fragrance I wish I could say--for they are fragrant +lips--and a sweet arm--a full tapering arm you are gifted with. Ah! +Eliza, if you could feel as I feel--nay, it was the chair that was +unsteady--my my heart is dis--dissolving, Eliza. If you were only a +little more frail, my sweet girl--we could feel this a kind of religious +exercise. Oh! these precious little frailties--these precious little +frailties!' + +“'Mr. M'Slime you will excuse me, but I think you have got enough, and a +little too much liquor. If you should be seen going home in an unsteady +state your character would suffer.' + +“'Another cup of refreshment, Eliza--but I am not perfection--no--nor +would I be perfection. What would life be without these precious little +frailties--that make us what we are.' + +“'With all piety and undher------' + +“'Who is that,' inquired the maid, evidently startled, if not affrighted +by a strange voice. + +“'I join--join you, brother M'Slime, for another cup of refreshment.' + +“'Bob Spaight--brother Bob--I am glad you are here; Eliza, my +darling--my dove--another cup for Bob, and after that we shall aid each +other home--will render one another Christian and mutual assistance.' + +“'Yes,' replied Bob, clearing his voice:-- + +(Both voices simultaneously:) + + Bob--'King James he pitched his tents between + + Solomon--'There's naught but care on every hand, + + Bob--'The lines for to retire, + + Solomon--'In every hour that passes, O + + Bob--'But King William threw his bomb balls in, + + Solomon--'What signifies the life o' man, + + Bob--'And set them all on fire.' + + Solomon--'An' 'twerna for the lasses, O!' + +“Many thanks, sweet Eliza--oh! that I could say my frail Eliza; but I +shall be able to say so yet, I trust; I shall be able to say so.' + +“'God forbid,' she replied. 'This is not for you, Mr. M'Slime--I +certainly will give you no more this night. But Bob here is a favorite +of mine. Bob, you will see Mr. M'Slime home?' + +“'In all piety and truth, I shall see that burning and shining light +home,' returned Bob; 'in the meantime I will thank you for the loan of a +lanthorn; the night is one of most unchristian darkness.' + +“Solomon had now reclined his head upon the table as if for sleep, which +he very probably would have indulged in, despite of all opposition; +but just at this moment his horse, car, and servant most opportunely +arrived, and with the aid of Bob, succeeded in getting him away, much +against his own inclination; for it would appear by his language that he +had no intention whatsoever of departing, if left to himself. + +“'I shall not go,' said he; 'it is permitted to me to sojourn here this +night. Where is Eliza? Oh! Eliza, my darling--these precious little +frailties.' + +“'Bring the little hypocrite home out of this,' said she, with a good +deal of indignation; for, in truth, the worthy saint uttered the last +words in so significant a voice, with such a confidential crow, as +might have thrown out intimations not quite favorable to her sense of +propriety on the occasion. He was literally forced out, therefore; but +not until he had made several efforts to grasp Eliza's hand, and to get +his arm around her. + +“'She's a sweet creature--a delightful dove; but too innocent. +Oh! Eliza, these precious little frailties!--these precious little +frailties!' + +“'It's a shame,' said Eliza, 'and a scandal to see any man making such +pretensions to religion, in such a state.' + +“'In all piety and truth,' said Bob, 'I say he's a burning and a shining +light!' + + “' King James he pitched his tents between + Their lines for to retire,' &c., &c. + +“And so they departed, very much to the satisfaction of Eliza and Boots, +who were both obliged to sit up until his departure, although fatigued +with a long day's hard and incessant labor. I also retired to my pillow, +where I lay for a considerable time reflecting on the occurrences of +the night, and the ease with which an ingenious hypocrite may turn the +forms, but not the spirit of religion, to the worst and most iniquitous +purpose.” + +* * * * * + +And thus far our friend, Mr. Easel, whom we leave to follow up his +examinations into the state of the Castle Cumber property, and its +management, hoping that discoveries and disclosures may at some future +day be of service to the tenantry on that fine estate, as well as to the +country at large. In the meantime, we beg our readers to accompany us to +the scene of many an act of gross corruption, where jobs, and jobbing, +and selfishness in their worst shapes, aided by knavery, fraud, bigotry, +party rancor, personal hate, and revenge long cherished--where active +loyalty and high political Protestantism, assuming the name of religion, +and all the other passions and prejudices that have been suffered to +scourge the country so long--have often been in full operation, without +check, restraint, or any wholesome responsibility, that might, or could, +or ought to have protected the property of the people from rapine, and +their persons from oppression. The scene we allude to is the Grand Jury +Room of Castle Cumber. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI.--Darby's Piety Rewarded + +--A Protestant Charger, with his Precious Burthen--A Disaffected Hack +supporting a Pillar of the Church--A Political and Religious Discussion +in a Friendly Way + + +The Assizes had now arrived, and the Grand Panel of the county met once +more to transact their fiscal and criminal business. We omit the grand +entry of the Judges, escorted, as they were, by a large military guard, +and the _posse comitatus_ of the county, not omitting to mention a +goodly and imposing array of the gentry and squirearchy of the immediate +and surrounding districts, many of Whom were pranked out in all the +grandeur of their Orange robes. As, however, we are only yet upon our +way there, we beg you to direct your attention to two gentlemen dressed +in black, and mounted each in a peculiar and characteristic manner. +One of them is a large, bloated, but rather handsome, and decidedly +aristocratic looking man, with a vermilion face, mounted upon a splendid +charger, whose blood and action must have been trained to that kind of +subdued but elegant bearing that would seem to indicate, upon the part +of the animal, a consciousness that he too owed a duty to the Church +and Constitution, and had a just right to come within the category of +a staunch and loyal Protestant horse, as being entrusted with the +life, virtues, and dignity of no less a person than the Rev. Phineas +Lucre--all of which are now on his back assembled, as they always are, +in that reverend gentleman's precious person. Here we account at once +for the animal's cautious sobriety of step, and pride and dignity +of action, together with his devoted attachment to the Church and +Constitution by which he lived, and owing to which he wore a coat quite +as sleek, but by no means so black as his master's. The gentleman +by whom he appears to be accompanied, much--if we can judge by their +motions--against his will, seems to be quite as strongly contrasted +to him, as the rough undressed hack upon which he is mounted is to the +sanctified and aristocratic nag that is honored by bearing the Rev. +Phineas Lucre. The hack in question is, nevertheless, a stout +and desperate looking varmint, with a red vindictive eye, moving, +ill-tempered ears, and a tail that seems to be the seat of intellect, +if a person is to take its quick and furious whisking as being given +in reply to Mr. Lucre's observations, or by way of corroboration of the +truth uttered by the huge and able-bodied individual who is astride of +him. That individual is no other than the Rev. Father M'Cabe, who is +dressed in a coat and waistcoat of coarse black broadcloth, somewhat +worse for the wear, a pair of black breeches, deprived of their original +gloss, and a pair of boots well greased with honest hog's lard--the fact +being, that the wonderful discovery of Day and Martin had not then come +to light. Mr. M'Cabe has clearly an unsettled and dissatisfied seat, and +does not sit his horse with the ease and dignity of his companion. In +fact, he feels that matters are not proceeding as he could wish, neither +does the hack at all appear to bear cordiality or affection to the state +which keeps him on such short commons. They are, by no means, either of +them in a state of peace or patience with the powers that be, and when +the priest, at the conclusion of every sentence, gives the garran an +angry dash of the spurs, as much as to say, was not that observation +right, no man could mistake the venomous spirit in which the tail is +whisked, and the head shaken, in reply. + +It is scarcely necessary to say that either Mr. Lucre or Mr. M'Cabe +were at all upon terms of intimacy. Mr. M'Cabe considered Mr. Lucre as a +wealthy epicure, fat and heretical; whilst Mr. Lucre looked upon Father +McCabe as vulgar and idolatrous. It was impossible, in fact, that +with such an opinion of each other, they could for a moment agree in +anything, or meet as men qualified by the virtues of their station to +discharge on any one duty in common. On the day in question, Mr. Lucre +was riding towards Castle Cumber, with the pious intention of getting +Darby O'Drive's appointment to the under jailorship confirmed. This was +one motive, but there was another still stronger, which was, to have +an interview with the leading men of the Grand Jury, for the purpose of +getting a new road run past his Glebe House, in the first place, and, +in the next, to secure a good job for himself, as a magistrate. At all +events he was proceeding towards Castle Cumber, apparently engaged in +the contemplation of some important subject, but whether it was the new +road to his glebe, or the old one to heaven, is beyond our penetration +to determine. Be this as it may, such was his abstraction, that he +noticed not the Rev. Father M'Cabe, who had ridden for some time along +with him, until that gentleman thought proper to break the ice of +ceremony, and address him. + +“Sir, your most obedient,” said the priest; “excuse my freedom--I am the +Rev. Mr. M'Cabe, Catholic Curate of Castle Cumber; but as I reside in +the parish it is very possible you don't know me.” + +Mr. Lucre felt much hurt at the insinuation thrown out against his long +absence from the parish and replied:-- + +“I do not, sir, in the least regret our want of intimacy. The character +of your ministry in the parish is such, that he who can congratulate +himself on not being acquainted with you has something to boast of. +Excuse me, sir, but I beg to assure you, that I am not at all solicitous +of the honor of your company.” + +“Touching my ministry,” said the priest, “which it pleases you to +condemn, I'd have you to know, that I will teach my people how to resist +oppression so long as I am able to teach them anything. I will not allow +them to remain tame drudges under burthens that make you and such as you +as fat and proud as Lucifer.” + +“I request you will be good enough, sir, to take some other way,” said +Mr. Lucre; “you are a rude and vulgar person whom I neither know nor +wish to know. The pike and torch, sir, are congenial weapons to such a +mind as yours; I do beg you will take some other way, and not continue +to annoy me any longer.” + +“This way, man alive--” + +“Man alive! To whom do you address such, a term?” said Mr. Lucre; “I +really have never met so very vulgar a person; I am quite sickened, upon +my honor. Man alive!! I trust I shall soon get rid of you.” + +“This way, man alive,” responded the priest, “is as free to me, in spite +of corrupt jobs and grand juries, as it is to you or any other tyrant, +whether spiritual or temporal. If there are turbulence and disturbances +in this parish, it is because bad laws, unjustly administered, drive the +people, first, into poverty, and then into resistance. And, sir, you are +not to tell me, for I will not believe it, that a bad law, dishonestly +and partially administered, is not to be resisted by every legal means.” + +“Do you call noon-day murder, midnight assassination, and incendiarism, +legal? Do you call schooling the people into rebellion, and +familiarizing them with crime, legal? All this may be allegiance to your +pope, but it deserves a halter from the king and laws, of England.” + +“The king and laws of England, sir, have ever been more liberal of +halters to the Irish Catholics, than they have been of either common +justice or fair play. What do the Catholic people get, or have ever +got, from you and such as you, in return for the luxury which you draw, +without thanks, from their sweat and labor, but gaols, and chains, and +scourges, and halters. Hanging, and transportations, triangles, and +drumhead verdicts, are admirable means to conciliate the Catholic people +of Ireland.” + +“The Catholic people of Ireland may thank you, and such red hot +intemperate men as you, for the hangings, and transportations which the +violated laws of the country justly awarded them.” + +“And have you, sir, who wring the blood and sweat out of them, the +audacity to use such language to me? Did not your English kings and your +English laws make education a crime, and did you not then most +inhumanly and cruelly punish us for the offences which want of education +occasioned?” + +“Yes; because you made such knowledge as you then acquired, the vehicle, +as you are doing now, of spreading abroad disaffection against Church +and State, and of disturbing the peace of the country.” + +“Because, proud parson, when the people become enlightened by education, +they insist, and will insist upon their rights, and refuse to be pressed +to death by such a bloated and blood-sucking incubus as your Established +Church.” + +“If this be true, then, upon your own showing, you ought to be favorable +to education among the people; but that, we know you are not. You have +no schools; and you will not suffer us, who are willing, to educate them +for you.” + +“Certainly not, we have no notion to sit tamely by and see you, and such +as you, instil your own principles into our flocks. But in talking of +education, in what state, let me ask you, is your own church in this +blessed year of 1804, with all her wealth and splendor at her back? I +tell you, sir, in every district where the population is equal, we can +show two Catholic schools for your one. When you impute our poverty, +sir, as a reluctance to educate our people, you utter a libel against +the Catholic priesthood of Ireland for which you deserve to be +prosecuted in a court of justice, and nailed snugly to the pillory +afterwards.” + +“Nailed snugly to the pillory! I never felt myself so much degraded as +by this conversation with you.” + +“Sir, the Catholic priesthood have always been at their duty at the bed +of sickness, and sorrow, and death, among the poor and afflicted; where +you, who live by their hard and slavish labor, have never been known to +show your red nose.” + +“Red nose--ha--ha--dear me, how well bred, how admirably accomplished, +and how finely polished. Red nose!” + +“Faith, you did well to correct me, it is only a mulberry. Wasn't your +Irish Establishment in a blessed torpor--dying like a plethoric parson +after his venison or turtle, until ould Jack Wesley roused it? Then, +indeed, when you saw your flocks running to barns and hedges after +the black caps, and the high-cheeked disciples of sanctity and strong +dinners--you yawned, rubbed your eyes, stroked your dewlaps, and waddled +off to fight in your own defence against the long-winded invaders of +your rounds and sirloins. Where was your love of education before that +shock, my worthy Bible man? Faith, I'm peppering you!” + +“Sir, if I could have anticipated such very vulgar insolence, I would +have taken some other way. Why obtrude yourself thus upon me? I trust +you have no notion of personal Violence?” + +“Wesley nudged you.” + +“Nudged us! I do not understand your slang at all, my good sir. Those +who are taken from the ditch to the college, and sent back from the +college with the crust of their original prejudices hardened upon them, +are not those from whom educated men are to expect refinement or good +manners.” + +“From the ditch! We are taken from humble life, proud parson, to the +college; and it is better to enter college from the simplicity of +humble life, than to enter the church with the rank savor of fashionable +profligacy strong upon us. Not a bad preparation for a carnal +establishment, where every temptation is presented to glut every +passion.” + +“You forget, sir, what a system of abomination your church was before +the light of the Reformation came upon her; and what a mockery of +religion she is to this day.” + +“Whatever I may forget, I cannot but remember the mockery of religion +presented by your proud and bloated Bishops who roll in wealth, +indolence, and sensuality; robbing the poor, whilst they themselves go +to h--l worth hundreds of thousands. I cannot forget that your church is +a market for venal and titled slaves, who are bought by the minister of +the day to uphold his party--that it is a carcass thrown to the wolfish, +sons and brothers of the English and Irish aristocracy--and that +its bishops and dignitaries exceed in pride, violence of temper, and +insolence of deportment, any other class of persons in society. Sure +they have their chaplains to pray for them--but my soul to glory--those +that pray by proxy will go to heaven by proxy--and so they ought. +Eh--faith I'm peppering you.” + +“_De te fabula narratur_. Don't you live by praying for others? What are +your masses?” + +“Fabula, why, a fibula for your fabula, man alive. What is your new +fangled creed, but a fabula from the beginning?” + +“And are you yourself not a hireling in every sense of the word? Do you +not make merchandise of the crimes and ignorance of your people?” + +“Make merchandise! This from you who take away a tenth part of the poor +man's labor without the consciousness of even professing his creed?” + +“Do you ever worship the Lord aright, or address him in any language +which the people can understand?” + +“And do you ever seek salvation with half the zeal displayed when you +lay your keen nostril to the trail of a fresh benefice or a fat mitre. +Do you not, most of you, think more of your hounds and kennels, than you +do of either your churches or your flocks?” + +Mr. Lucre at length pulled up his horse and fixing his eyes on Father +M'Cabe, inquired why he should have fastened upon him in so offensive a +manner; and Mr. M'Cabe pulling up the hack we spoke of, fixed a pair of +fiery orbs on him in return, and replied-- + +“I haven't done with you yet, my worthy parson. You needn't scowl, I +say, for if you had as many chins upon you as there are articles in +your creed, I wouldn't be prevented from bringing you to an account for +interfering with my flock.” + +“Rude and wretched man, how?” + +“By attempting to pervert Darby O'Drive, the bailiff, and seduce him +over to your heresies.” + +“I would bring him over from his idolatry and superstition. But why do +you, sir, tamper with a man--named--named--let me see--Bob--Bob Beatty, +I think, who belongs to my congregation?” + +“Simply because I wish to bring him over from a false church to the true +one.” + +“It appears that because this simple person has been afflicted with +epilepsy, you have attempted, through some pious juggling or other, +to effect his cure, by enjoining him not to enter a church door or eat +swine's flesh during his life. Are you not ashamed, sir, of such ungodly +frauds as this?” + +“Swine's flesh! Call it bacon, man alive, like a man. Yes, and I tell +you moreover, that I have cured him--and with a blessing shall cure him +better still, if that is any consolation to you. From being a purple +Orangeman, I have him now hard at work every day at his _Padderheen +Partha_. But I now caution you not to unsettle the religious principles +of Darby O'Drive, the bailiff.” + +“Why, sir, the man has no religious opinion, nor ever had; thanks to Mr. +M'Cabe.” + +“And I'm bound to say, that such a thickheaded villian in religious +matters as Bob Beatty I never met. God knows I had a sore handful of +him. So, now remember my caution, and good bye to you; I think you'll +know me again when you meet me.” + +Lucre gave him a haughty scowl ere the priest turned off a bridle road, +but made no other reply--not even by inclining his head to him; but, +indeed, it was hardly to be expected that he should. + +Such is the anxiety to snap up a convert in Ireland, it matters not from +what church or to what church, that Mr. Lucre lost no time in securing +the appointment of honest Darby to the office of Castle Cumber Deputy +Goaler--an appointment to which both M'Clutchy and M'Slime strongly +recommended him, not certainly from an excess of affection towards that +simple and worthy man, but from a misgiving that an important portion +of a certain correspondence in the shape of two letters was in his +possession, and that so far they were prudent in declining to provoke +his enmity. + + + + +CHAPTEK XXII.---Castle Cumber Grand Jury Room + +--A Concientious Hangman--Way to a Glebe House of More Importance than +the Way to Heaven--Irish Method of Dispensing Justice--Short Debate +on the Spy System--Genealogical Memoranda--Patriotic Presentments--A +Riverless Bridge + + +We pass now, however, to the Grand Jury Room of the county, and truly as +a subordinate tribunal for aiding the administration of justice, it was, +at the time of which we write, one of the most anomalous exhibitions +that could be witnessed. It was a long room, about thirty-six or forty +feet in length, by thirty, with a fire-place at each end, and one or two +at the sides. Above the chimney-piece was an oil painting of William +the Third, together with a small bronze equestrian statue of the same +prince, and another of George the Third. There were some other portraits +of past and present jurors, presented by themselves or their friends. +But there was certainly one which we cannot omit, although by whom +presented, or on what occasion, we are wholly unable to inform the +reader. We are inclined to think it must have been placed there by some +satirical wag, who wished to ridicule the extent to which mere royalty +was carried in those days, and the warmth of admiration with which its +most besotted manifestations were received. The picture in question was +the portrait of a pious hangman, who was too conscientious to hang any +one but a Papist. They called him Jerry Giles; a little squat fellow, +with a face like a triangle, a broken nose, and a pair of misplaced or +ill-matched eye-brows, one of them being nearly an inch higher up the +forehead than the other. Jerry, it seems, had his own opinions, one of +which was, that there existed no law in the constitution for hanging a +Protestant. He said that if he were to hang a Protestant felon, he +would be forced to consider it in his conscience only another name for +suicide; and that, with a blessing, he would string up none but +such vile wretches as were out of the pale of the constitution, and +consequently not entitled to any political grace or salvation whatever. +And, indeed, upon the principles of the day, the portrait of Jerry was +nearly as well entitled to be hung among the grand jurors as that of any +one there. + +Seated about a long table, covered with green baize, were a number of +men, with papers before them; whilst grouped in different parts of the +room were the younger persons, amusing themselves by the accidents of +the last meet--if it happened to be the hunting season--or the last +duel, or the last female victim to the corruption and profligacy of +some of those from whom, the people were to expect justice, and their +families protection. Others were whistling or humming some favorite air; +and one of them, a poet, was reading a squib which he had prepared for +the forthcoming election. + +“Deaker, come here,” said the Foreman, “you are up to everything. Here +is Lucre, the parson, wants to have a presentment for a new line of road +running through his glebe, or to his glebe--for I suppose it is the same +thing.” + +“Well,” replied Deaker, “and let him have it. Isn't he as well entitled +to a job as any of us? What the devil--why not put a few feathers in his +nest, man? The county has a broad back.” + +“His nest is better feathered than he deserves. He has two enormous +livings, a good private fortune, and now, indeed, he must come to saddle +himself upon the county in the shape of a job.” + +“He has rendered good service, Mr. Hartley,” replied another of them; +“good service to the government, sir, with every respect for your +wonderful liberality and honesty.” + +“What do you mean, sir?” asked Hartley, sternly; “do you throw out any +imputation against my honor or my honesty?” + +“Oh, Lord, no--by no means; I have no relish at all for your cold lead, +Mr. Hartley--only that I don't think you stand the best chance in the +world of being returned for Castle Cumber, sir--that is all.” + +“Hartley,” asked another, with a loud laugh, “is it true that your +cousin, on bringing a message to young Phil M'Clutchy, pulled his nose, +and kicked him _a posteriore_ round the room?” + +“Ask his father, Dick,” said Hartley, smiling; “I have heard he was +present, and, of course, he knows best.” + +“I say, Vulture,” inquired the other, “is it true?” + +“Ay,” returned old Deaker, “as true as the nose on your face. That +precious Phil, was a cowardly whelp all his life--so was his father. +D--n you, sirra; where did you get your cowardice? I'm sure it was +not from me; that is if you be mine, which is a rather problematical +circumstance; for I take it you are as likely to be the descent of some +rascally turnkey or hatchman, and be hanged to you, as mine.” + +“Is it true, Val,” persisted the former querist, “that young Hartley +pulled Phil's nose?” + +“We have come here for other purposes, Dick,” said Val. “Certainly Phil +did not wish to strike the young man in his own house, and had more +sense than to violate the peace in the presence of a magistrate, and +that magistrate his own father.” + +“How the devil did he put his comether on M'Loughlin's pretty daughter, +Val?” asked another from a different part of the room. + +“That,” said Deaker, “is the only spirited thing I ever knew him to +manage. Is it true, Val, that he was found in her bedroom?” + +“It is certainly true,” replied Val, with a smile of peculiar meaning; +“and with her own consent too.” + +“That's false, Val,” replied Hartley; “and you know it. That he was in +her room for a couple of minutes is true; but that he was there for +any purpose prejudicial to her honor, that is, with her own consent, +is false. The whole thing was a cowardly trick on the part of your son, +concocted by the aid of old Poll Doolin, for the purpose of injuring the +girl's reputation.” + +“Ay,” said old Deaker, “I dare say you are right, Hartley, if Poll +Doolin was in it; but, d--n her, she's dangerous, even at a distance, +if all that's said of her be true. I say, Spavin”--this was a nickname +given to the Foreman, in consequence of a slight halt or lameness +for which he was remarkable--“are we not to find bills for something, +against Harman, who is about to be married to that wench.” + +“What,” said Hartley, laughing, “is it on that account? I think if you +said so Deaker, you'd not be very far from the truth.” + +“He murdered one of my fellows,” said M'Clutchy, “one of the staunchest +Protestants and loyalest men that ever was in the country; and, what is +more, he did it in cold blood.” + +“You were not present,” said Hartley, “and consequently have no right to +attempt to prejudice the minds of the jury against him.” + +“We shall find the bills for all that,” said Spavin, “the interference +of such fellows in the execution of the laws must be put a stop to.” + +“You are right, Spavin,” said Sir William; “if we can't hang him, let us +send him across. He had no business to touch the hair of a blood-hound's +head. Gad, Hartley, this is pretty justice, isn't it? why didn't the +disloyal rascal stand and let himself be shot in obedience to the spirit +of the constitution, rather than molest a blood-hound. I tell you, my +good friends, that this method of managing things will bring about its +own remedy yet.” + +“Oh, Sir William, you and Hartley would run well in a chaise +together--both always for the rebels.” + +“Whom do you call the rebels?” + +“Why the Papists, to be sure.” + +“No more rebels, Moore, than you are,” replied Hartley--“I find a Papist +as good as another man, if he's as well and as fairly treated.” + +“Irwin,” said a large gouty man, whose legs were wrapped in flannel, “of +course you've heard of Sir William's method of dispensing justice. Will +that too, sir, find its own remedy--eh? ha, ha, ha; d------e, it's the +most novel thing going.” + +“No--how is it, Anderson?” + +“Why, if two neighbors chance to fall out, or have a quarrel, and if it +happens also that they come to take the law of one another, as they +call it, what does the worthy baronet do, do you imagine? 'Well, my good +fellow,' proceeds our justice, 'you want to take the law of this man?' + +“'Yes, your honor.' + +“'And you want to take the law of him,' addressing the other. + +“'I do, the rascal.' + +“'Very well, my good friends, if you wish to get law you have come to +the wrong shop for it--we deal in nothing but justice here: so if you +prefer justice to law, you shall have it.' + +“'Whichever your honor thinks is best for us.' + +“'Very well, then; are you able to fight this man?' + +“'Ha, ha, is it there you are, Sir William?' says the fellow, +brightening, 'able is it! ay, and willing too.' + +“'And,' says the baronet, addressing the other again, 'are you a match +for him, do you think?' + +“'Say no more, Sir William; only it was surely the Lord put the words +into your mouth.' + +“'But,' proceeds Sir W., 'mark me, if you don't both abide by this +battle--if either of you, no matter which is beaten, shall attempt to +get law elsewhere, upon my honor and soul, I will prosecute you both.' +The justice being well furnished with a sheaf of cudgels for the +purpose, selects one for each, brings them quietly to the stable yard +where he lets them fight it out, each having first solemnly promised to +abide the result.” + +“Is that true, baronet?” + +“Perfectly true,” replied Sir William; “but I fear that like some of +your wise and impartial proceedings here, it will soon work its own +cure. The business has increased so damnably--this dispensation of +justice I mean--on my hands, that my stable yard resembles a fives +court rather than anything else I know. The method harmonizes with their +habits so beautifully, that if there is an angry word between them it is +only 'd--n you, are you for Sir W.?' 'Yes, you villain step out.' They +accordingly come, and as they touch their hats, I ask, well, my good +fellows, what do you want now? 'Not law Sir William, but justice--the +cudgels, plase your honor.' In the beginning I was in the habit of +making them relate the cause of quarrel first, and then fight it out +afterwards, but experience soon taught me that all this was a mere waste +of time. In general now, I pass all that by; the complainants have their +comfortable fight, as they say, and go home perfectly satisfied.” + +“Here, you secretary, what the devil are you at there? Why d-----e, +it wasn't to toss half crowns with that rascal of a treasurer you came +here, sir; let us get through the business, and then you may both toss +off to the devil, where you'll go at last.” + +“Why,” said the secretary, “I placed the papers all arranged in proper +order before you.” + +“Yes, sir; I suppose you did; but who the devil can keep anything or +anybody in order, in such a Babel as this? Beevor, I'll thank you to +postpone the singing of your squib for the election; or take to the +street when our business is over, and give it to the crowd.” + +“You be d----d, Spavin,” replied Beevor; + +“I'll finish it, if the devil was at the back door.” + +“Darcy,” said Deaker, addressing a thin, red-faced man beside him, “I +saw a pretty bit of goods in Castle Cumber market on Thursday.” + +“Why, Deaker,” replied the other, “is it possible that with one foot +and more than half your body in the grave, and your shadow in h--l, you +sinner, you have not yet given up your profligacy.” + +“Eat, drink, and be merry, Tom, for tomorrow we die; but about this +pretty bit of goods--I tried to price her, but it wouldn't do; and when +I pressed hard, what do you think of the little tit, but put herself +under the protection of old Priest Roche, and told him I had insulted +her.” + +“Who is she, Deaker?” inquired a young fellow with a good deal of +libertine interest. + +“Ah, Bob,” replied Deaker, laughing; “there you are, one of the holy +triad. Here, Baronet--did you ever hear what Mad Jolly-block, their +father, the drinking parson of Mount Carnal, as some one christened his +residence, said of his three sons?--and that chap there's one of them.” + +“No; let us hear it.” + +“'Dan,' said the father, speaking of the eldest, 'would eat the devil; +Jack,' the second, 'would drink the devil; and Bob, this chap here, +'would both eat and drink him, in the first, place, and outwit him +afterwards.' That's Bob, the youngest--he there with a lip like a +dropsical sausage. He has sent him here to pick up a little honesty, and +much loyalty.” + +“And a great deal of morality,” replied Bob, laughing, “from Deaker the +virtuous.” + +“No, no,” replied Deaker; “you need never leave your Reverend father's +wing for that.” + +“Deaker, do you fleece the poor as much as ever?” replied Bob. + +“Ah, you are another sweet Agent, as times go. Do you touch them at the +renewals as usual?” + +“Egad, Bob, I was very good at that; but there's an unmatrimonial son of +mine, Val the Vulture, there, and d--me, when I look back upon my life, +and compare it with his, it's enough to make me repent of my humanity, +to think of the opportunities I have neglected.” + +“Gentlemen,” observed Hartley, “it strikes me, no matter what the +multiplicity of other virtues we possess, there is somehow nothing like +a superabundance of shame among us; we appear to glory in our vices.” + +“Why confound it, Hartley,” replied Deaker, “where's the use of assuming +what we do not and cannot feel? Would you have me preach honesty, who am +as d----d a rogue as there is here? Indeed, with the exception of that +whelp of mine, I believe the greatest--but that fellow's my master.” + +“Nobody can quarrel with your candor, Deaker, because it's all at your +own expense,” said the treasurer. + +“Egad, and here it is at yours, Gilburne; with the exception always of +myself and my son, you are the deepest rogue here--and I am very much +afraid that your securities will be of my opinion when it is too late.” + He laughed heartily at this; and then, as usual, took to whistling his +favorite tune of the Boyne Water. + +Our readers may perceive that there was among them an open, hardy scorn +not only of all shame, but of the very forms of common decency and +self-respect. The feelings, the habits, the practices, the distribution +of jobs and of jobbings, the exercise of petty authority, party spirit, +and personal resentment, all went the same way, and took the same bent; +because, in point of fact, there was in this little assembly of +village tyrants, no such thing as an opposition--for three or four--were +nothing--no balance of feeling--no division of opinion--and consequently +no check upon the double profligacy of practice and principle, which +went forward under circumstances where there existed a complete sense of +security, and an utter absence of all responsibility. + +“Gentlemen, we are losing a great deal of time unnecessarily,” observed +M'Clutchy, “let us first get through the business, and afterwards we +will be more at leisure for this trifling. The bills for Harman are not +yet found.” + +“Not found,” replied Spavin, “why how soft you are, Val.” + +“Why they are not,” reiterated Val. + +“And why are they not?” + +“Ask Counsellor Browbeater, the hard-faced barrister, that has the right +of Black Trot in the Castle, and he will tell you.” + +“We all know that very well, Val, no thanks to your squeamishness,” + observed Deaker; “the truth is, he did not wish to let him out for a +reason he has,” he added, winking at the rest. + +“Let us hear the calendar,” said Hartley, “and got through the business +as quickly as we can, secretary.” + +“Is that Browbeater,” asked Sir William, “who was engaged in the spy +system a little before I returned from England--a d----d scandalous +transaction.” + +“The spy system, Sir William, is a very useful one to government,” + replied Val, “and they would be devilish fools if they did not encourage +it.” + +“That may be your opinion, Mr. M'Clutchy,” said Sir William, “and your +practice, for aught I know; but, permit me to say, that it is not the +opinion of a gentleman, a man of honor, nor of any honest man, however +humble.” + +“I perfectly agree with you, Sir William,” said Hartley, “and I despise +the government which can stoop to such discreditable treachery, for it +is nothing else. The government that could adopt such a tool as this +Browbeater, would not scruple to violate the sanctity either of private +life or public confidence, if it suited their interest--nay, I question +whether they would not be guilty of a felony itself, and open the very +letters in the post-office, which are placed there under the sacred seal +of public faith. However, never mind; proceed with the calendar.” + +“Here is the case of some of your wreckers, M'Clutchy, charged here with +illegally, maliciously, and violently pulling down several houses in +the village of Crockaniska--assaulting and maltreating the unoffending +inhabitants.” + +“Halt there a moment,” said Val; “rebels, every man of the said +inhabitants, which I can prove. My men, who are remarkable for their +Protestantism and loyalty, went upon private information--” + +“More of the spy system,” said Hartley, smiling. + +“Mr. Hartley, you may smile, but truth is truth,” replied Val; “we had +private information that they had arms and rebellious papers, and the +latter we have got under the thatch of their cabins.” + +“Private information!--still more of the spy system,” repeated Hartley, +smiling again. + +“But not the arms?” asked Sir William. + +“No, Sir William, not the arms; the rebels were too quick for us there.” + +“Then, they expected you it seems,” observed Hartley; “and, if so, when +taking away the arms, I am anxious to know why they should have been +such fools as to leave the papers behind them.” + +“I am not here to account for their conduct, sir,” replied Val, “but to +state the facts as they occurred--they may, for instance, not have had +time to bring them. It is not a month, for instance, since my fellows +in Still hunting--and talking of that, Mr. Hartley, will you allow me +to send you a couple of kegs of such stuff as is not to be had on every +hill head; I offer it from pure good will, for I really regret that +there should be any want of cordiality between our families.” + +“Our families,” asked Hartley, with a look of surprise and indignation, +“our families, sir! what do you mean?” + +“Oh, damn it, Hartley, don't explode; I mean nothing offensive between +us--then, dropping the families,” said Val, fawningly, for he saw the +other's nostril begin to dilate-- + +“And, you cowardly hound, why should you drop the families,” inquired +Deaker, taking fire; “do you forget, sirra, who your father was?” + +“And do you forget, sirra,” resumed Hartley, “who your mother is?” + +“Damn it,” replied Val, still with fawning good-humor, “how am I +accountable for their conduct before I had existence? I neither made +them as they were, nor as they are.” + +“Then have the modesty,” said Hartley, “to forbear any allusion to them, +especially in the way of comparison.” + +“For one of them, Hartley, I reply,” said Deaker, “that he is of a +better family than yourself; and don't imagine, my worthy fellow, that +however you may browbeat others, you will be permitted to bully or +browbeat me. I say, sir, there is better blood in my veins than ever ran +through yours.” + +“I had no intention of bullying or browbeating any man here,” replied +Hartley, “much less one whose age and virtues must prevent him--” + +“Not from meeting you like a man,” said Deaker; “old as I am, I can yet +stand my ground, or if not, d--n me, I can tie a stake to my bottom, and +you may take that as a proof that I won't run away.” + +“Nobody suspects you for that,” said the other. “Out of the long +catalogue of human virtues, courage is the only one loft you, or indeed, +you ever had--unless, indeed, it be the shameless and diabolical honesty +of glorying in your own vices.” + +“Why, Hartley!” replied Deaker, “you forget, that you had more vices, +and, hammers, too, in your family, and more brass, than ever I or mine +could' boast of. If the memory of that successful old tinker, your +grandfather, had not passed out of your mind, you would make no allusion +to vices or screws, and take care, my good hot-brained young fellow, +that you don't die in your family trade, and come to the pully yet.” + +Hartley, who was hasty, but exceedingly good-natured, although certainly +a noted duelist, now burst out into a hearty laugh, as did most of the +rest. + +“Deaker,” said he, “there is no use in being angry with you, nor in +being ashamed that my fortune was created by industry and honesty, +for both of which virtues I have reason heartily to thank my good old +grandfather, the hardware man, as you have for thanking the sire of your +father, the worthy tailor, who had the honor of being appointed one of +Peg Nicholson's knights, ha, ha, ha!” + +The laughter now became general and excessive; but not one of them +enjoyed, or seemed at least, to enjoy it with more good-humor than Val; +who, indeed, was never known to exhibit any want of temper to his equals +during his life. + +“Well,” said he, “ha, ha, ha! now that that breeze has blown over--about +the poteen, Hartley?” + +“Thanks, Val; but no poteen, if you please.” + +“Then, gentlemen,” said Val, “to resume business; I was alluding to the +seizure of a Still about a month ago near Drum Dhu, where the parties +just had time to secure the Still itself, but were forced to leave the +head and worm behind them; now, that I give as a fair illustration of +our getting the papers, and missing the arms. Besides,” said he, in a +wheedling and confidential tone, addressed to a clique of his friends, +the jobbers, whom he joined at the lower end of the room, “you are all +aware that my fellows are staunch Orangemen, every one of them, and +the government itself feels, for I have reason to know it, that it is +neither politic or prudent to check the spirit which is now abroad among +them; so far from that, I can tell you it is expected that we should +stimulate and increase it, until the times change. The bills against +these men must, therefore, be thrown out.” + +“I'll agree to that,” said a leading man of his own party, “only on one +condition. There are three of my own tenants, Papists to be sure, in for +distilling poteen. Now, we must have them out, Val, for one good turn +deserves another. + +“But why?” inquired Val and his friends. + +“Why, simply, because the poor fellows were distilling for myself,” he +replied; “all the apparatus were mine, and I can't think of allowing +them to be transported for my own act.” + +“Very well, then a bargain be it,” said Val, “so out they go.” + +Whilst every man was thus working, either for his friends or against his +enemies, or not unfrequently both, Hartley, who, in point of fact, felt +always anxious to do as much good as he could, addressed Sir William: + +“Have you no friends in difficulty, Sir William, or who require your +advocacy now? I see the jobbers are hard at work. Some working heaven +and earth to wreak the vengeance of law upon their enemies; others quite +as anxious to turn aside justice from their friends.” + +“Eh! what's that!” said Sir William, starting up; “come, Hartley, you +are right; there are four of my tenants in for a fray--the M'Caffreys, +and the poor devils stand no chance with such a jury as they will have. +I hear them named below there--so let us join the jobbers as you say, +and see if we cannot get the Bills thrown out.” + +“Very well,” said Val, as they approached him, “the M'Caffreys go to +trial.” + +“Sir William, excuse me,” said Hartley; “will you allow me to interfere, +in the first instance?” + +“My dear fellow, certainly, with great pleasure, and I shall aid you as +far as I can.” + +“Val,” said Hartley, in that kind of familiar tone which he knew would +go far with such a man as M'Clutchy, and which was in such accordance +with his own natural good-humor--“Val, my good fellow, and the best man +of business here, by the way, notwithstanding the poteen affair, I want +you to stand my friend and also Sir William's here.” + +“How is that, Hartley?” + +“There are four men in from the Mountain Bar, named M'Caffrey. Now we +want to have the Bills against them ignored; and simply for a plain +reason--at this season of the year any lengthy imprisonment would ruin +them. It was a faction fight or something of that kind, and of course +there is no feeling of a religious or party nature in it. Am I not +right, Sir William?” + +“Perfectly; the thing took place during my absence in England for +the last few months. Had I been at home, the matter would have been +peaceably decided in my own stable-yard.” + +“Yes,” observed Val, “but it appears there was a man's life in danger.” + +“Yes, but, sir, his life is now out of danger.” + +“Well, but does not this,” rejoined Val in his most serious mood, “look +very like obstructing the course of justice?” + +“Why, you d----d scoundrel,” said the Baronet, “what, in nineteen cases +out of twenty, is done at every assizes where matters connected +with religion or politics are concerned, that ought not to be called +obstructing the course of justice?” + +“We shall return true Bills, Sir William and that is the only reply I +have to make, except to thank you for your courtesy.” + +“Mr. M'Clutchy,” said Hartley, “I know your good sense and forbearance, +both of which are so creditable to you. These poor fellows will be +ruined, for both you and I know what kind of jury that is to try them.” + +“An honest jury, Mr. Hartley,” said Mr, M'Clutchy, who was now beginning +to feel a little of his power--“an honest jury, Mr. Hartley.” + +“I give you leave to say so, Val; but, in the meantime, I will accept +one favor from you, if you grant me two.” + +“How is that sir?” asked Val. + +“Send me that poteen you spoke of, and ignore the Bills against these +M'Caffreys.” + +“No, sir,” replied Val, looking with his own peculiar beetle-browed +smile at Sir William, “I shall not; for by G--, we will find true Bills +against the four M'Caffreys. We might do something for humanity, Mr. +Hartley; but we are not to be made fools of before our own faces.” + +“I do not understand you,” replied Hartley. + +“He is nothing but a scoundrel, as I said,” returned Sir William--“that +is all; a low-born scoundrel; and it is a disgrace to see such a +fellow's name upon any Grand Jury list.” + +“Hartley,” replied Spavin, “we do not wish to refuse either Sir William +or you in such a matter as this; but the fact is, M'Clutchy is right. +This is at bottom a party matter--a political matter, and you know it +is.” + +“No, sir; on my own part and on Sir William's I disclaim any such +knowledge.” + +“You know, Hartley, you are canvassing the county.” + +“Yes, but what has that to do with these; men or their affairs?” + +“What--why you know that if we ignore the Bills against them, they will +be out and ready to vote for you at the forthcoming election.” + +Hartley looked at him with surprise but said nothing. + +“Now,” he proceeded, “I will tell you what we will do. If you and Sir +William pledge your words, as men of honor, that you will not accept the +votes of these men, the matter you wish shall be managed.” + +Sir William started to his feet. + +“Great God,” said he, “is it not monstrous that an oath of secrecy +should bind us to conceal these inquiries?” + +“It is monstrous, Sir William,” replied his friend; “I do believe there +is not such, a scene of shameless and hardened corruption on earth, as a +Grand Jury Room at the present day.” + +This, however, they said rather aside to each other. + +“No, sir,” replied Hartley to the last proposal, “neither I nor Sir +William shall enter into any such shameful compromise. I felt perfectly +satisfied of the slight chance of justice which these poor men had, and +will have from a jury so composed as theirs I know will be; and that was +the reason why I did not hesitate to try, if I could, with any effect, +save them from what I now perceive is designed for them--a political +punishment independent of crime.” + +“Never mind,” said Sir William, taking him aside, “never mind, Hartley; +we will be able to defeat them yet. I shall send for the prosecuting +parties; get them to withdraw proceedings, and immediately fight it out +in my lawn or stable-yard.” + +After a great deal of similar squabbling and negotiation, the gentleman +at length got through the criminal calendar for the county, and with +still more startling honesty and disinterestedness, entered upon the +transactions of its fiscal business. Beaker, whenever he took no part +in the discussions that accompanied the settlement of each question, sat +reading a newspaper to the air of the Boyne Water, which he whistled +from habit in a low manner that was scarcely audible, unless to some +one who felt anxious to derive amusement, as several did, from the +originality of the performance. + +“Gentlemen,” said the secretary, “here is a list of the presentments. +The first is--For two miles and a quarter of a new road, running +from George Ganderwell's house at the Crooked Commons, out along +Pat Donnellan's little farm of the Stripe, through which it runs +longitudinally; then across Jemmy league's meadow, over the Muffin Burn, +then through widow Doran's garden, bisecting Darby M'Lorrinan's three +acre field, afterwards entering the Glebe, and passing close to the +lodge of the Rev. Phineas Lucre's avenue.” + +“Is there any opposition to this?” inquired the chairman. + +“Read the next,” said M'Clutchy, “and then we shall be the better able +to see.” + +No. 2. “For four miles of road, commencing at the Ban Ard river, which +it crosses, running through Frank Fagan's croft, along Rogues Town, over +Tom Magill's Long-shot meadow, across the Sally Slums, up Davy Aiken's +Misery-meerin, by Parra Rakkan's haggard, up the Dumb Hill, into Lucky +Lavery's Patch, and from that right ahead to Constitution Cottage, the +residence of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., within two hundred yards of +which it joins the high road to Castle Cumber.” + +“Now the question is,” said Val, “can both these be passed during this +term?” + +“Val,” replied young Jollyblock, “if ever a man was afflicted with +modesty and disinterestedness you are he; and well becomes me the +parson, too, in his share of the job; but it's all right, gentlemen. +Work away, I Say. The Parson-magistrate, and the Agent-grand-juror have +set us an excellent example--ha---In.--ha! Deaker, drop whistling the +Boyne Water there, and see what's going on here.” + +“No,” said Deaker, “there never was such air composed as the Boyne +Water; and my only request is, that I may die whistling it. Damn it, +Jollyblock, unless a man is a good Protestant he's bad for everything +else.” + +“But how the devil Deaker, can you call yourself a good Protestant, when +you believe in nothing?” + +“Why,” said Deaker, “I believe that a certain set of political opinions +are necessary for our safety and welfare in this world; and, I +believe, that these are to be found in the Church, and that it is good +Protestantism to abide by them, yes, and by the Church too, so long as +she teaches nothing but politics, as she does, and acts up to them.” + +“And does your faith stop there?” + +“How could it go farther with the lives of such men as your father and +Lucre staring me in the face? Precept, Dick, is of little value when +example is against it. For instance, where's the use of men's preaching +up piety and religion, when their own conduct is a libel upon their +doctrine? Suppose, now, there are two roads--and 'tis said there are: +No. 1, leading to an imaginary region, placed above; No. 2, to another +imaginary region, placed below--very good; the parson says to jon and to +me, do so and so, and take the No. 1 road; but, in the meantime, he does +himself the very reverse of this so and so, and takes the No. 2 road. +Now, which are we to respect most, his advice or his example?” + +“Let us go on,” said Spavin, “perhaps there are others whose claims are +as modest and disinterested; we shan't say anything about being as well +founded. You secretary fellow, read away.” + +“Before you go any farther,” said a droll-looking person named M'Small, +“you must pass me a bridge over Lumlay's Leap. Our party voted you about +thirty miles of roads to repair thoroughly, and you know that although +you only veneered them, we said nothing.” + +“But,” replied Val, “who ever heard of a bridge without water; and I +know there's not a stream within three miles of you.” + +“Never mind that,” replied M'Small, “let me have the bridge first, and +we'll see what can be done about the water afterwards. If God in his +mercy would send a wet winter next season, who knows but we might +present for a new river at the January assizes.” + +“You must have it,” said Deaker, “give M'Small the bridge, and, as he +says, we'll see afterwards what can be done for a river for it.” + +“M'Small,” said Hartley, “what if you'd get a presentment for a couple +of mountain water spouts; who knows but it might answer the purpose?” + +“I'm afraid,” said M'Small, who, by the way, was a good deal of a +humorist, “I fear, Hartley, that the jurisdiction of the grand panel +would scarcely reach so high. In the meantime I shall think of it.” + +The bridge, however, was not only passed, but built, and actually stands +to this day, an undeniable monument of the frugality and honesty of +grand jurors, and the affection which they were then capable of bearing +to each other, when their interests happened to be at stake, which was +just four times in the year. + +In the meantime, the tumultuous battle of jobs in all its noise, +recrimination, and jangle of conflicting interests, and incredible +selfishness commenced. There were strong mutual objections to pass the +roads to Mr. Lucre and M'Clutehy, and a regular conflict between their +respective partisans accordingly took place. M'Clutchy's party were +absolutely shocked at the grossness and impiety of such a man as Mr. +Lucre, a person of such great wealth, an absentee, a nonresident-rector, +dipping his hand in the affairs of the county for the sake of a job. + +His party, for he had a strong one, dwelt upon his rights as a civil +officer, a magistrate, and justice of quorum--upon his sterling +principles as a loyal Protestant, who had rendered very important +services to the Church and the government. It was such as he, they said, +who supported the true dignity and respectability of Protestantism, and +it would be a scandal to refuse him a road to his glebe. Deaker groaned +several times during this eulogium, and repeated his favorite text--let +us eat, drink, and be merry, for to-morrow we die; but whether +its application was designed for Lucre or himself, was not very +easy--perhaps we should rather say difficult to determine. + +“That is all very true,” replied Val's party; “but in the meantime, +it would be quite as creditable for him to pay some attention to the +spiritual interests of his parish, and the condition of its tottering +old church, as to be mulcting the county for a job.” + +“What can you know about his church,” inquired Spavin, “who have never +been seen in it, except on last Easter Monday, when you were candidate +for the church wardenship? M'Clutehy,” he added, “we all know you are a +Protestant of your father's color; it's the best Protestantism that puts +most into your pocket.” + +“And on what other principle is Lucre himself now proceeding, or has +ever proceeded?” replied Val's friends--for Val himself had always a +wholesome repugnance to personal discussion. + +In fact, one would have imagined, on hearing Val's party declaiming +against the selfishness of Lucre, that they themselves entertained a +most virtuous horror against jobs and corruptions of all kinds, and +had within them an actual _bona fide_ regard for religion, in all +its purity, spiritual beauty, and truth; whilst on the contrary, the +Lucreites, who certainly had the worst cause, seemed to think that +M'Clutchy, in preferring his own corruption to that of the parson, was +guilty of a complete desertion of that sterling and mutually concessive +Protestant feeling which they considered to constitute its highest +principle, and absolutely to merge into the manifestation of something +inimical to a Protestant government. + +At length it was suggested by him of the bridge, that in order to meet +the wishes of two such excellent men, and such admirable representatives +of pure Protestant virtue and spirit, it would be best to pass both +presentments on the present occasion, and drop or postpone some of the +minor ones until next term--a suggestion which was eagerly received by +both parties, inasmuch as it satisfied the rapacity of each, without +giving a victory to either. This, however, was far from terminating +either the business or the debates that arose out of the minor +conflicting interests of the jurors. A good deal of hanging fire there +was also, but given and returned in a better spirit, between. Val's +friends and Lucre's. + +“Why doesn't Lucre,” said the former, “afford us a little more of his +company in the parish?” + +“Ah,” replied the Lucreites, “we suppose if he gave you more of his +venison and claret, he would experience less of your opposition.” + +“I really am afraid to go to church,” said Val, who, now that the storm +had passed, resumed his usual insinuating habit of light sarcasm: “I +am afraid to go, lest the crazy old church, which really, between +ourselves--I speak of course in a friendly way now--is in a most +shameful and dangerous state, should fall upon me.” + +“I did not think,” said M'Small, “that you had such a strong sense of +your own deserts left, Val!--I have some hopes of you yet.” + +“Ah,” said Val, “I fear that on your way to heaven, if you meet a +difficulty, you will not be likely to find a grand jury to build a +bridge for you across it.” + +“I perfectly agree with you,” replied M'Small, “the face of a grand +juror will be a novel sight in that direction.” + +“And in the other direction,” observed Hartley, “no bridges will be +wanted.” + +“Why so?” said M'Small. + +“Because,” he replied, “there will be such an absence of water as will +render them unnecessary.” + +“Ay,” retorted another, “but as there will be plenty of grand jurors +we may do then as we did now, build the bridge without the water, and +trouble ourselves no further with the consequences.” + +After much more conversation, partly on business, and partly on +desultory topics, the quarrellings, and bickerings, and all the noisy +enmities of that corrupt little world that is contained within--we +should rather say, that was contained within the walls of a grand jury +room, ceased; and, with the exception of one or two small matters of +no consequence, everything was settled, but not so as to give general +satisfaction; for there still remained a considerable number of +grumblers, whose objects had been either completely lost in greater +corruption, or set aside for the present. + +“Here's another matter,” said Spavin, “which we had better settle at +once. A man here named O'Drive--Darby O'Drive--is to be appointed to the +under gaolership--he is strongly recommended by Mr. Lucre, as a man that +has renounced Popery.” + +“That's enough, Spavin,” said Hartley, “that, I suppose, comprises all +the virtues necessary for an under gaoler, at all events.” + +“You know him, M'Clutchy,” said one or two of them. + +“He'll make a good under gaoler,” replied Val, “as there will be in +Europe. Appoint him, gentlemen; you will get no such man.” + +“And that is just,” said Sir William aside to Hartley, “all that Val's +recommendation is good for.” + +And thus closed as much as we feel necessary to describe of that +extraordinary scene--a grand jury room in the year 1804, or +thereabouts. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII.--A Rent Day + +--Relative Position of Landlord and Tenant--Grades of Tenantry--Phil's +Notion of Respect--Paddy Corrigan's Protestant Wig--Phil and Solomon in +a Fit of Admiration--The Widow Tyrrell. + + +One single week in the progress of time, after the exhibition last +described, had wonderfully advanced the catastrophe of our simple and +uncomplicated narrative. Harman, very much to the mortification of +M'Clutchy, was acquitted, the evidence being not only in his favor, but +actually of such a character, as to prove clearly that his trial was +merely one of those dishonest stretches of political vengeance which +characterized the times. On coming out, however, he found the affairs of +the firm in a state of bankruptcy and ruin. The insidious paragraphs in +the papers, masked with compassion, and “a hope that the affairs of +this respectable firm--which was hitherto supposed to be a solvent +one--would, still, be wound up in a way, they trusted, somewhat more +satisfactory than was given out by their enemies.” Nor was this the +worst, so far as Harman himself was concerned. The impression of Mary +M'Loughlin's perfidy had been now so thoroughly stamped into his heart, +that he neither could, nor would listen to any attempt upon the part of +their mutual friends at her vindication. This last stroke of anguish was +owing, also, to Phil's diabolical ingenuity. Harman on reflecting day +after day, and hour by hour, upon the occurrence, and comparing it with +her conduct and confusion on previous occasions, felt, as we before +said, strongly inclined to believe her guilty. He determined, however, +not to rest here, but to sift the matter to the bottom. He accordingly +heard from his cousin, and from several others, while in prison, such +details of the particulars, and such an authentic list of the persons +who were present, many of whom, owing to the ingenious malignity +of Poll Doolin, were friendly and favorable to the family--that he +privately sent for them, and on comparing the narratives one with the +other, he found the harmony among them so strong, that he gave up all +thoughts of her, save such as recurred involuntarily to his mind with +indignation and anguish. In addition to his other mortifications, it +happened that the second day after his release from imprisonment was +what the agents call “Gale day;” that is, the day upon which they get +into their chair of state, as it were, and in all the insolence of +office receive their rents, and give a general audience to the tenantry. +Phil, indeed, even more than the father, looked forward to these days +with an exultation of soul and a consciousness of authority, that fully +repaid him for all the insults, disasters, and tweakings of the nose, +which he was forced to suffer during the whole year besides. In truth, +nothing could equal, much less surpass, the Pistolian spirit by which +this lion-hearted gentleman was then animated. His frown, swagger, +bluster, and authoritative shakings of his head, the annihilating +ferocity of his look, and the inflated pomp of manner with which he +addressed them, and “damned his honor,” were all inimitable in their +way. The father was more cautious and within bounds, simply because he +had more sense, and knew the world better; but, at the same time, it +was easy to see by his manner, that in spite of all his efforts at +impartiality and justice, he possessed the poison as well as the wisdom +of the serpent, but not one atom of the harmlessness of the dove. At +another table, a little to the right of M'Clutchy, sat M'Slime, ready to +take his appropriate part in the proceedings of the day, and prepared, +whilst engaged in the task of seeing that everything was done according +to law, to throw in “a word in season, touching the interests of the +gospel.” + +At length eleven o'clock arrived, and found Val, Phil, our old friend +Darby, who had not yet entered upon the duties of his office, together +with one or two other understrappers, all ready for business. The two +principal characters were surrounded by books, rentals, receipts, and +every other document necessary and usual upon such occasions. The day +was wet and cold, and by no means in the spirit of the season; but we +know not why it happens, that there seems in general to be a fatality +of disastrous weather peculiar to such days, leading one to imagine that +the agent possessed such a necromantic foreknowledge of the weather, +as enabled him to superinduce the severity of the elements upon his own +cruelty. In a country so poor as Ireland, the scene presented by a rent +day is one too impressive and melancholy ever to be forgotten by any +heart touched with benevolence. There is little, if any, of that +erect freedom of demeanor and natural exhibition of good will, which +characterize conscious independence and a sense of protection on the +part of the tenant; whilst on that of the agent or landlord there is +a contemptuous hardness of manner, a vile indifference, and utter +disregard of the feelings of those by whom he is surrounded, that might +enable the shallowest observer to say at a glance, there is no sympathy +between that man and these people. + +But that is not all. Give yourself time to observe them more closely, +listen to that agent pouring his insolent invective upon the head of +this poor man, whose only crime is his poverty, and whose spirit appears +to be broken down with the struggles and sufferings of life; yet, who +hears his honesty impugned, his efforts ridiculed, and his character +blackened, without manifesting any other than a calm spirit that looks +inwards to his own heart for the consciousness of these falsehoods. Look +at this, we repeat, and you will surely feel yourself forced to +say--not that there is no sympathy between these men, but there sits the +oppressor and there stands the oppressed. + +But even this is not all. Bestow a still more searching glance upon +the scene. Here is more than invective; more than the imputation of +dishonesty and fraud; more than the cruel defamation of character in the +presence of so many. Mark the words of that agent or landlord again. He +is sealing the fate of this struggling man; he tells him he is to have +no home--no house to shelter himself, his wife, and their children; that +he must be dispossessed, ejected, turned out upon the world, without +friends to support or aid him, or the means to sustain their physical +existence. Hear all this, and mark the brow of that denounced man; +observe how it knits and darkens; how firmly he compressess his +lips, and with what a long, determined, gloomy gaze he surveys his +denouncer--observe all this, we repeat; and need you feel surprised, +at finding yourself compelled to go still farther, and say there sits a +doomed man and there most assuredly stands his murderer. + +Let it not be supposed that we are capable of justifying murder, or the +shedding of human blood; but we are palliating, and ever shall palliate +that crime in the humble man, which originates in the oppression +of the great man. Is the act which banishes happiness and +contentment--introduces poverty, misery, destitution--which scatters +out of the heart all the little amenities and sweet endearments of +life--which wastes away the strength of the spirit, and paralyzes that +of the hand--which dims the eye and gives paleness to the cheek, and by +combining all these together makes home--yes, home, the trysting place +of all the affections, a thing to be thought of only with dread--an +asylum for the miseries of life;--is the act, we say, which inflicts +upon a human being, or a human family, this scathing and multitudinous +curse--no crime? In the sight of God and in the sight of man is it no +crime? Yes! In the sight of God and man it is a deep, an awful, and a +most heartless crime! To return, however, to our rent day. The whole +morning was unseasonably cold and stormy, and as there was but little +shelter about the place, we need scarcely say, that the poor creatures +who were congregated before the door were compelled to bear the full +force of its inclemency. + +Indeed, it may be observed with truth, that when people are met together +under circumstances of a painful nature, they cannot relax or melt into +that social ease which generally marks those who come together with no +such restraint upon the heart or spirits. Here, too, as in every other +department of life, all the various grades of poverty and dependence +fall into their respective classes. In one place, for instance, might be +seen together those more comfortable farmers who were able to meet their +engagements, but who labored under the galling conviction, that, however +hard and severely industry might put forth its exertions, there was no +ultimate expectation of independence--no cheering reflection, that they +resided under a landlord who would feel gratified and proud at their +progressive prosperity. Alas! it is wonderful how much happiness a bad +landlord destroys! These men stood with their backs to the wind and +storm, lowly conversing upon the disastrous change which was coming, +and had come, over the estate. Their brows were lowered, their dialogue +languid and gloomy, and altogether their whole appearance was that of +men who felt that they lived neither for themselves or their families, +but for those who took no interest whatsoever in their happiness or +welfare. + +In another place were grouped together men who were still worse off than +the former--men, we mean, who were able to meet their engagements, +but at the expense of all, or mostly all, that constitutes domestic +comfort--who had bad beds, bad food, and indifferent clothes. These +persons were far more humbled in their bearing than the former, took a +less prominent situation in the crowd, and seemed to have deeper +care, and much more personal feeling to repress or combat. It is an +indisputable fact, that the very severe and vexatious tyranny exercised +over them had absolutely driven the poor creatures into hypocrisy +and falsehood--a general and almost uniform consequence of conduct +so peculiarly oppressive. They were all, at best, God knows, but very +poorly clothed; yet, if it so happened that one or two of them, somewhat +more comfortable than the rest, happened to have got a new coat a little +before gale day, he invariably declined to appear in it, knowing, as +he did, that he should receive a torrent of abuse from the agent, +in consequence of “getting fat, impudent, and well-dressed on his +Lordship's property;” terms of abuse, which, together with the cause +that produced them, are at this moment well known to thousands as +expressions whose general occurrence on such, occasions has almost fixed +them into proverb. Will our English neighbors believe this? That we know +not, but we can assure them that they may. + +There were other groups farther down in the scale of distress, where +embarrassment and struggle told a yet more painful tale; those who came +with their rent, in full to be sure, but literally racked up from their +own private destitution--who were obliged to sell the meal, or oats, or +wheat, at a ruinous loss, in order to meet the inexorable demands of the +merciless and tyrannical agent. Here were all the' external evidences +of their condition legible by a single look at their persons; they also +herded together, ill clad, ill fed, timid, broken down, heartless. All +these, however, had their rents--had them full and complete in amount; +now the reader may well say, this picture is, indeed, very painful, and +I am glad it is closed at last. Closed! oh, no, kind reader, it is not +closed, nor could it be closed by any writer acquainted either with +the subject or the country. What are we to say of those who had not the +rent, and who came there only to make that melancholy statement, and to +pray for mercy? Here was raggedness, shivering--not merely with the +cold assault of the elements--but from the dreaded apprehension of +the terrible agent--downcast looks that spoke of keen and cutting +misery--eyes that were dead and hopeless in expression--and +occasionally, a hasty wringing of the hands, accompanied by an +expression so dejected and lamentable, as makes us, when we cast our +eye in imagination upon such men as Valentine M'Clutchy, cry out aloud, +“where are the lightnings of the Almighty, and why are his +thunderbolts asleep?” There was there the poor gray-haired old man--the +grandfather--accompanied, perhaps, by his promising young grandsons, +left fatherless and motherless to his care, and brought now in order +that the agent might see with his eyes how soon he will have their aid +to cultivate their little farm, and consequently, to make it pay better, +he hopes. Then the widow, tremulous with the excess of many feelings, +many cares, and many bitter and indignant apprehensions. If handsome +herself, or if the mother of daughters old enough, and sufficiently +attractive, for the purposes of debauchery, oh! what has she to contend +with? Poor, helpless, friendless, coming to offer her humble apology for +not being able to be prepared for the day. Alas! how may she, clutched +as she is in the fangs of that man, or his scoundrel and profligate +son--how may she fight out the noble battle of religion, and virtue, and +poverty, against the united influences of oppression and lust, wealth +and villany. + +The appearance of these different groups--when the inclemency of the +day, their sinking hearts, and downcast pale countenances, were taken +into consideration--was really a strong exponent of the greatest evil +which characterizes and oppresses the country--the unsettled state +of property, and of the relative position of landlord and tenant in +Ireland. + +At length the hall-door was opened, and a hard-faced ruffian came +out upon the steps, shouting the name of a man named O'Hare. The man +immediately approached the steps, and after shaking the heavy rain +out of his big coat, and having whisked his hat backwards and forwards +several times, that he might not soil his honor's office, he was brought +in, and having made his humble bow, stood to hear his honor's pleasure. +His honor, however, who had divided the labor between himself and Phil, +had also, by an arrangement which was understood between them, allotted +that young gentleman, at his own request, a peculiar class marked out in +the rental, in which class this man stood. “O'Hare,” said Val, “how do +you do?” + +“Upon my conscience, your honor, but poorly,” replied O'Hare, “the last +heavy fit of illness, joined to the bad times, sir--” + +“O'Hare,” said Solomon, “suffer me humbly, and without assuming anything +to myself, to point out to you the impropriety of swearing; I do it, my +friend, in all humility; for I fear, that so long as you indulge in that +most sinful practice, the times will seldom be other than bad with you, +or, indeed, with any one that gives way to so Wicked a habit. Excuse me, +O'Hare, I speak to you as a Christian, I humbly trust.” + +“By G--, that's good, father,” exclaimed Phil, “M'Slime preaching to +such a fellow as this!” + +“I humbly thank you, sir,” said O'Hare to Solomon, “for your kindness +in--” + +“Thank the devil, sirra,” said Phil; “What the devil does he or I care +about your d----d thanks. Have you your rent?” + +The man, with trembling hands, placed some notes, and gold, and silver +before him--the latter being rolled up in the former. + +“I'm short for the present,” he added, “just thirty shilling, sir; but +you can give me an acknowledgment for the sum I give you now: a regular +receipt will do when I bring you the balance, which, God willin', will +be in about a fortnight.” + +“Ay, and this is your rent, Mr. O'Hare,” exclaimed Phil, gathering up +the money into a lump, and with all his force flinging it at the +man's head; “this is your rent, Mister O'Hare,” placing an emphasis of +contempt on the word Mr.; “thirty shillings short, Mr. O'Hare, but I'll +tell you what, Mr. O'Hare, by ---, if you don't have the full rent for +me in two hours, Mr. O'Hare, I'll make short work, and you may sleep +on the dunghill. I can in ten minutes get more rent than you pay, Mr. +O'Hare, so now go to h--l, and get the money, or out you go.” + +The poor man stooped down, and with considerable search and difficulty, +succeeded in picking up his money. + +“In two hours, sir,” said he, “I could never do it.” + +“That's your own business,” said Phil, “not mine--if you have it not for +me in two hours, out you go; so now be off to hell out of this, and get +it.” + +Val, who had been poring over an account-book, now raised his head, as +if disturbed by the noise for the first time-- + +“What's the matter?” said he, “what is it, Phil?” + +“Why, d--n my honor,” replied Phil, “but that scoundrel O'Hare, had the +assurance to come to me thirty shillings short of his rent, and, what is +more, only brought me a part of it in gold!” + +“God help me!” exclaimed poor O'Hare, “I know not what to do--sure I did +the--best I could.” + +He then went out to the hall, and was about to leave the house, when +Val rising, called him into another room, where both remained for a few +minutes, after which the man went away, thanking his honor, and praying +God to bless him; and Val, having; seated himself at the desk, appeared +to feel rather pleased at their little interview than otherwise. + +“Ah, my dear friend, M'Clutchy,” said Solomon, “you are a treasure in +your way--when you do a kind act it is always in secret, ever mindful of +our spiritual obligations, my friend.” + +“Why,” said Val, “a man is not always to trumpet forth any little act +of kindness he may choose to render to a poor simple fellow like O'Hare. +You mustn't mind him, Phil--I have told him not to be in a hurry, but to +take his time.” + +“Very well,” said Phil, who had just knowledge enough of his father's +villany, to feel satisfied, that in whatever arrangement took place +between them, O'Hare's interest was not consulted;* “very well; d--n my +honor, I suppose it's all right, old cock.” + + * This scene is verbatim et literatim from life. + +Our readers, we presume, have already observed, that however tenderly +our friend Solomon felt for the shearing habit of the poor, he was +somehow rather reluctant in offering a word in season to any one else. +What his motive could be for this we are really at a loss to know, +unless it proceeded from a charitable consciousness, that as there was +no earthly hope of improving them by admonition, it was only deepening +their responsibility to give it--for Solomon was charitable in all +things. + +“Call in Tom Maguire, from Edenmore,” said Val. “Now,” he proceeded, +“this is a stiff-necked scoundrel, who refuses to vote for us; but it +will go hard, or I shall work him to some purpose. Well, Maguire,” he +proceeded, after the man had entered, “I'm glad to see you--how do you +do?” + +“I'm much obliged to you, sir,” replied the other--“why just able to +make both ends barely meet, and no more; but as the time goes, sure it's +well to be able to do that same, thank goodness.” + +“Tom,” said Solomon, “I am pleased to hear you speak in such a spirit; +that was piously expressed--very much so indeed.” + +“Well, Tom,” proceeded Val; “I suppose you are prepared?” + +“Why, sir,” replied Tom, who, by the way, was a bit of a wag; “you know, +or at least Mr. M'Slime does, that it's good to be always prepared. The +rent in full is there, sir,” he added, laying it down on the table; “and +I'll thank you for the receipt.” + +Val deliberately reckoned over the gold--for in no other coin would he +receive it--and then drew a long breath, and appeared satisfied, but not +altogether free from some touch of hesitation. + +“Ay,” said he, “it is all right, Tom, certainly--yes, certainly, it +is all right. Darby, fill Tom a bumper of whiskey--not that--I say the +large glass, you scoundrel.” + +“Throth, Captain, 'tisn't my heart 'ud hindher me to give him the +largest in the house; but I have a conscientious scruple against doin' +what I believe isn't right. My Bible tells me--. Well, well, sure I'm +only obeying orders. Here, Tom,” he added, handing him the large bumper. + +“Confound the fellow,” said Val; “ever since he has become a convert to +Mr. Lucre there's no getting a word out of him that hasn't religion in +it.” + +“Ah, Captain,” replied Darby, “sure Mr. M'Slime there knows, that 'out +of the abundance of the heart the mouth spaiketh.'” + +“I cannot answer for what you are latterly, Darby,” replied +Solomon--“thank you, Tom,” to Maguire, who had held his glass in his +hand for some time, and at length hurriedly drank their healths;--“but I +know that the first spiritual nutrition you received, was at least +from one who belonged to an Apostolical Church--a voluntary +Presbytery--unpolluted by the mammon of unrighteousness, on which your +Church of Ireland is established.” + +“But you know,” said Darby, “that we're ordhered to make for ourselves, +friends of that same mammon of unrighteousness.” + +“Upon my honor,” said Phil, “I know that you're a hypocritical old +scoundrel. Be off to h--l, sir, and hold your tongue.” + +“Throth and I will, Captain Phil--I will then,” and he was silent; but +his face, as he glanced first at Tom Maguire, and then at Solomon and +the rest, was a perfect jewel, beyond all price. + +“Tom,” proceeded Val, “I hope you've thought over what I mentioned to +you on our canvass the other day?” + +“I have, sir,” said Tom, “and I'm still of the same opinion. I'll vote +for Hartley and no other.” + +“You don't imagine of what service Lord Cumber and I could be of to +you.” + +“I know of no service Lord Cumber ever was to any of his tenants,” + replied Maguire; “except, indeed, to keep them ground to the earth, in +supportin' his extravagance, and that he might spend their hard earnings +in another country, not caring one damn whether they live or starve. +It's for that raison, sir, I vote, and will vote against him.” + +“Well, but,” said Val, whose brow began to darken, “you have not +considered what an enemy he can be to those like you, whose obstinacy +draws down his resentment upon them. Have you ever considered that-- +eh?” + +“I don't see how he can readily be a worse enemy to me, or any tenant +he has, than he is at present. I'll trouble you for my receipt, Mr. +M'Clutchy, but I won't vote for him. I beg your pardon, sir,” said he, +on looking at the receipt which Val, as he spoke, had handed to him; +“this isn't signed--your name's not to it.” + +“Show,” said Val; “upon my life it is not. You are right, Maguire; but +the truth is, M'Slime, that while speaking on any subject that affects +Lord Cumber's interests, I am scarcely conscious of doing anything else. +Now, sir,” he proceeded, addressing Maguire, with a brow like midnight; +“there is your receipt--bring it home--show it to your family--and tell +them it is the last of the kind you will ever receive on the property of +Lord Cumber. I shall let you know, sir, that I am somewhat stronger than +you are.” + +“That's all to be proved yet, sir,” said the sturdy farmer: “you know +the proverb, sir--'man proposes, but God disposes.'” + +“What do you mean, sirra? What language is this to my father? Be off to +h--l or Connaught, sir, or we'll make it worse for you--ha!--bow-wow.” + He did not utter the last interjection, but his face expressed it. + +“That's not the religious individual I took him to be,” said Solomon; +“there is much of the leaven of iniquity in him.” + +“Religion be hanged, M'Slime!” said Phil, “what religion could you +expect a Papist like him to have?” + +“M'Murt, call in old Paddy Corrigan.” + +A venerable old man, who, though nearly a hundred years old, stood +actually as erect as the Apollo Belvidere himself, now entered. He was, +however, but poorly clad, and had nothing else remarkable about him, +with the exception of a rich wig, which would puzzle any one to know how +it had got upon his head. On entering, he took off his hat as usual, and +paid his salutation. + +“What the devil do you mean, Corrigan?” said Phil, once more in a +fluster; “what kind of respect is that in our presence?--what kind of +respect is that, I say? Take off your wig, sir.” + +“With great respect to you, sir,” replied Corrigan, “I have been in as +jinteel company as this, and it's the first time ever I was axed to take +my wig off.” + +“Phil,” said Val, who really felt somewhat ashamed of this ignorant +and tyrannical coxcomb, “Phil, my good boy, I think you are rather +foolish--never mind him, Paddy, he is only jesting.” + +“Are not you the man?” asked Solomon, “in whom our rector, Mr. Lucre, +takes such a deep and Christian interest?” + +“I am, sir,” returned Corrigan. + +“And pray, what interest does he take in you?” said Val. + +“Troth, sir,” replied Paddy, “he is very kind and very good to me. +Indeed, he's the generous gentleman, and the good Christian, that +doesn't forget Paddy Corrigan.” + +“But, Paddy, what does he do for you?” asked the agent. + +“Why, sir,” replied Corrigan, “he gives: me a cast-off wig once a year, +God bless him!--This is his I have on me. Throth, ever since I began +to wear them I feel a strong-relish for beef and mutton, and such fine +feedin'; but somehow, God forgive me, I! haven't the same leanin' to +devotion that I used to have.” + +“Paddy, my old boy,” said Phil, “that alters the case altogether. I +thought the wig was as Popish as yourself; but had I known that it was +a staunch and constitutional concern, of sound High Church principle, I +should have treated it with respect. I might have known, indeed, that +it could not be a Popish one, Paddy, for I see it has the thorough +Protestant curl.” + +The father looked at Phil, to ascertain whether he was serious or not, +but so unmeaning or equivocal was the expression of his countenance that +he could make nothing out of it. + +“You are reasoning,” said Solomon, “upon wrong, certainly not upon +purely gospel principles, Phil. The wig at this moment has a great deal +more of Popery in it than ever it had of Protestantism.” + +“And, if I'm not much mistaken, more honesty, too,” observed Val, who +had not forgotten the opposition he received in the grand jury room by +Lucre's friends; nor the fact that the same reverend gentleman had taken +many fat slices of his mouth on several other occasions. + +“Well, then, confound the wig,” said Phil, “and that's all I have to say +about it.” + +Paddy then paid his rent, and having received a receipt, was about to +go, when Val thus addressed him:--“Paddy, I hope you will not hesitate +to give up that farm of yours at Slatbeg; I told you before that if you +do, I'll be a friend to you for life.” + +“I'll sell it, sir,” said Paddy; “but surely you wouldn't have me to +give up my interest in such a farm as that.” + +“I'll make it up to you in other ways,” said Val; “and I'll mention you +besides to Lord Cumber.” + +“I'm thankful to you, sir,” said Paddy; “but it's in heaven I'll be, +most likely, before ever you see his face.” + +“Then, you won't give it up, nor rely upon my generosity or Lord +Cumber's? It's Lord Cumber you will be obliging, not me.” + +“Wid every respect for you both, sir,” replied Paddy, “I must think +of my own flesh and blood, my childre, and grand-childre, and +great-grand-childre, before I think of either you or him. The day, sir, +you made me tipsy, and sent me on your own car for the lease, I would a +given it--but then, they wouldn't let me at home, and so, on thinking-it +over--” + +“Pooh, you're doting, man, you're doting,” said Val. “go home, now--but +I tell you, you will have cause to remember this before you die, old as +you are--go home.” + +“The truth is, Solomon, I was offered two hundred pounds for it by one +of my 'hounds' which would be a good thing enough, and would afford you +a slice into the bargain. The old fellow would have brought me the +lease the day he speaks of, were it not for the family--and, talking of +leases, you will not forget to draw up those two for the O'Flaherties, +with a flaw in each. They are certainly with us up to the present time, +but, then, we can never be sure of these Papists.” + +“No, d--n my honor, if ever we can,” re-echoed Phil; “they hate us +because we keep them down. Put in two good thumping flaws, Solomon, and +be hanged to you; so that we can pop them out if ever they refuse to +vote for us.” + +“Never you mind Solomon,” said his father, “Solomon will put in a pair +of flaws that will do him honor.” + +“If I did not feel that in doing so, my dear M'Clutchy, I am rendering +a service to religion, and fighting a just and righteous fight against +Popery and idolatry, I would not deem myself as one permitted to do this +thing--but the work is a helping forward of religion, and that is my +justification.” + +“Call Philip Duggan in.” + +A poor looking man now entered with a staff in his hand, by the aid of +which he walked, for he was lame. + +“Well, Duggan, your rent?” + +“I have scrambled it together, sir, from God knows how many quarthers.” + +“Phil,” said Solomon aside, “is it not painful to hear how habitually +these dark creatures take the sacred name in vain.” + +“By ---, it's perfectly shocking,” said Phil, “but what else could you +expect from them?” + +“Duggan,” said Val, “what is this, here's a mistake--you are short three +pound ten.” + +“Beggin' your pardon, sir, it's all right,” replied Duggan; “you see, +your honor, here's my little account for the work I wrought for you for +five weeks wid horse and cart, up until I put my knee out o' joint in +the quarry--you remember, sir, when I brought it to you, you said to let +it stand, that you would allow for it in the next gale.” + +“I remember no such thing, my good fellow, or, if ever I said such a +thing, it must have been a mistake; do you imagine, now--are you really +so stupid and silly as to imagine that I could transmit this account of +yours to Lord Cumber, in payment of his rent?” + +“But wasn't it by your own ordhers I did it, sir?” + +“No, sir; it couldn't be by my orders. Duggan, you're a great knave, I +see. I once had a good opinion of you; but I now perceive my error. Here +you trump up a dishonest bill against me, when you know perfectly well +that most of the work you charge me with was duty work.” + +“Beggin,' your pardon, sir, I paid you the duty-work besides, if you'll +remember it.” + +“I tell you, sirra, you are a most impudent and knavish scoundrel, to +speak to me in this style, and in my own office, too! Go and get the +balance of the rent, otherwise you shall repent it; and, mark me, sirra, +no more of your dishonesty.” + +“As God is to judge me--” + +“Ah, my friend--,” began Solomon. + +“Be off to h--l, sir, out of this,” thundered Phil. “Be off, I say, to +h--l or Connaught; or if you don't, take my word for it, you'll find +yourself in a worse mess. To address my father in such language! Be off, +sir; ha!”--Bow-wow! said his face once more. + +“Ah,” said Solomon, when the man had retired, “I see your patience and +your difficulties--but there is no man free from the latter in this +checkered vale of sorrow.” + +“Call Roger Regan,” said Val; “here's a fellow, now, who has an +excellent farm at a low rent, yet he never is prepared with a penny. +Well Regan.” + +“Oh! devil resave the penny, sir;--you, must only prize (appraise) the +craps; the ould game, sir--the ould game; however, it's a merry world as +long as it lasts, and we must only take our own fun out of it.” + +“What is the matter with your head, Regan?” asked Val. + +“Devil a much, sir; a couple o' cuts that you might lay your finger +in. We an' the Haimigans had another set to on Thursday last, but be my +sowl, we thrashed them into chaff--as we're well able to do. Will I have +the pleasure of drinking your health, gintlemen? I think I see the right +sort here.” + +“Give him a glass of spirits,” said Val; “I think, Regan, you have seen +some one drinking to-day already.” + +“Well, gintlemen, here's--if we're to have a short life, may it be a +merry one!--and may we never ait worse mait than mutton. Mr. +M'Slime, more power to you!--She's next door to me”--and he winked at +Solomon--“an' barrin' the paleness, by the powers gettin' on famous; +throth, sir,” in reply to Val--“only share of two half-pints wid Paddy +Colgan, in regard of that day that's in it--blowin' bullocks--and, I +believe, another half-pint wid Para Bellow. Blood, sir, but that's a +beautiful drop! Sowl it would take the tear off a widow's pig--or the +widow herself. Faith, Mr. M'Clutchy, I could tell where the cow grazes +that was milked for that! Awough! However, no matther, I'm rantin' Regan +from sweet Anghadarra--Regan the Rake that never seen to-morrow. Whish! +more power!” + +“That will do, Regan; you have not your rent.” + +“Oh! d--n the penny, as usual.--Success! + +“Well, but what's to be done? I must come down.” + +“Devil afoot you'll come down, please your honor; but you'll come up and +prize the crap. It's worth five times the rent, at any rate--that's one +comfort. Hurroo!” + +“Upon my honor, Regan, I'm tired of this I have done it several times +through kindness to yourself and family, but I cannot, really, do it any +more.” + +“Very well, sir--no offence--what one won't, another will; I can raise +three times the rent on it in four and twenty hours.” + +“What an unfortunate man you are, to be sure. Well, Regan, I shall +appraise your crops and take them, or a competent share of them in +payment, on this occasion--but mark me, it shall be the last.” + +“More power, I say.--Long life to you, sir. You know a hawk from a +hand-saw, any how--and be my sowl, kind father, for you--whish! I'm +rantin' Regan from sweet Anghadarra!” + +So saying, poor, idle, drinking, negligent, pugnacious Regan, by his own +sheer neglect, put his property into the hands of the most relentless +harpy that ever robbed and fleeced a tenantry. This mode of proceeding +was, in fact, one of the many methods resorted to by rapacious agents, +for filling their own pockets at the expense of the tenant, who, by +this means, seldom received more than a fourth part of the value of his +crops. The agent under the mask of obliging him, and saving his crops +from the hammer, took them at a valuation when the markets were low; +and in order that he might be able to do so, he always kept over the +tenant's head what is called a hanging gale--which means that he was +half a year's rent in arrear. The crops were then brought home to the +agent's place, and frequently, to save appearances, to the haggard of +some friend of his, where they were kept until the markets got up to the +highest price. So that it was not an unusual thing for the iniquitous +agent to double the rent, one-half of which he coolly put into his own +pocket.--In pastoral lands the butter was appraised in the same manner, +mostly with similar results to both parties. To return--when Regan had +departed, Val asked Solomon what he thought of him. “Think of him,” said +Solomon, who could not forgive the allusion to Susanna, “I would fain +think of him as becomes a Christian; but, somehow, I could not help +feeling, whenever I looked at him, there was the outline of an execution +in his face; however, I may be mistaken--indeed, I hope--I trust I +am--the villain!” + +“M'Murt, call in Catharine Tyrrell.” + +“Yes,” said Phil, “call in Widow Tyrrell. Now, Solomon, only you have +no relish for anything except what's sanctified and spiritual, you would +say that here comes such a specimen of Irish beauty as you have seldom +seen.” + +“I never had any objection,” said Solomon, who, in spite of all his +gravity, betrayed an alertness on this occasion that was certainly not +usual to him;--“I never had any objection to look upon any work from +His hand, with pleasure. Indeed, on the contrary, I often felt that +it raised my sense of--of what was beautiful, in such a way that my +feelings became, as it were, full of a sweet fervor that was not to +be despised; I will consequently not decline to look upon this comely +widow--that is--in the serious light I mention.” + +“How do you do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I hope you have not got much wet?” said +Val, turning round very blandly. + +“Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, I hope you're very well,” followed Phil; “I fear you +have got wet--have the goodness to take a chair, Mrs. Tyrrell--and a +glass of wine, ma'am.” + +Mrs. Tyrrell took a chair, but she declined the glass of wine. +Mrs. Tyrrell had been the wife of a young husband, who died in his +twenty-fourth year, just when they had been about a year and a half +married. She was herself, on the day in question, about the same age as +her husband when he died. She had been a widow just two years, and +had one child, a son. She was indeed a beautiful woman--in fact a very +beautiful woman, as one could almost see in her humble condition +of life. Her tresses were a raven black, but her skin was white and +polished as ivory. Her face was a fine specimen of the oval--her brows +exquisitely pencilled--and her large black, but mellow eyes, flashed +a look that went into your very heart. But, if there was anything that +struck you as being more fascinating than another, it was the expression +of innocence, and purity, and sweetness, that lay about her small +mouth and beautifully rounded chin. Her form was symmetry itself, and a +glimpse of the small, but beautiful foot and ankle, left no doubt upon +the mind as to the general harmony of her whole figure. On this occasion +there was a positive air about her which added to the interest she +excited; for, we believe, it may be truly observed, that beauty never +appears so impressively or tenderly fascinating, as when it is slightly +overshadowed with care. We need scarcely say, that there was a great +deal of contrast in the gaze she received from Phil and our friend +Solomon. That of Phil was the gross, impudent stare of a libertine and +fool--a stare, which, in the eye of a virtuous woman, soon receives its +own withering rebuke of scorn and indignation. That of Solomon, on the +other hand, was a look in which there lurked a vast deal of cunning, +regulated and sharpened by experience, and disguised by hypocrisy into +something that absolutely resembled the open, ardent admiration of a +child, or of some innocent man that had hardly ever been in the world. +There was, however, a villainous dropping of the corners of the mouth, +with an almost irrepressible tendency to lick the lips, accompanied with +an exudation of internal moisture from the glands--vulgarly termed a +watering of the teeth--which, to a close observer, would have betrayed +him at once, and which were evident from the involuntary workings of his +whole face. + +“Mrs. Tyrrell,” said Val, “I am glad to hear that you are making +considerable improvements on your farm.” + +“Improvements, sir,” replied the widow in amazement; “I don't know who +could have told you that, sir. Didn't my potato crop fail altogether +with me, and my flax, where I had it spread on the holme below, was all +swept away by the flood.” + +“I am sorry to hear that, Mrs. Tyrrell;--we are very hard up for money +here, and the landlord doesn't know on what hand to turn; I must raise +a large sum for him forthwith:--indeed to tell you the truth, I have +received instructions that are not at all pleasant to myself--I am to +let no one pass, he says, and if I cannot get the rent otherwise, I am +to enforce it. Now this is very unpleasant, Mrs. Tyrrell, inasmuch as it +compels me to take steps that I shall feel very painful. + +“God help me, then,” replied the poor young woman, “for, as to rent, +sir, I have it not; and, indeed, Mr. M'Clutchy, what brought me here +to-day, was to ask a little time, just till I get my butter made up and +sold. + +“Yes, but what can I do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I have no power to let any one +off, even where I feel inclined, as I do in your case. It really is +not in my power; Lord Cumber took care to leave me no discretion in the +business at all.” + +“But surely, sir, you don't mean to say, that unless I pay the rent, you +will seize upon my property.' + +“This,” said Val, as if to himself, “is really very distressing-- +unfortunately, Mrs. Tyrrell, I must indeed, unless you can raise the +money in some way; wouldn't your friends, for instance, stand by you, +until your butter is made up?” + +“I have no such friends,” replied the poor woman, “them that would, +arn't able; and them that are able, won't; and, that's only the way of +the world, sir.” + +“It's too true, indeed, Mrs. Tyrrell; I am very sorry, exceedingly +sorry, for what must be done. It is such circumstances as these that +make me wish I never had become an agent.” + +“For God's sake, sir, have patience with me for about a month or six +weeks, and I will be able to pay it all easily.” + +“If I was my own master,” returned Val, “it would give me pleasure to do +so, but I am not.” + +Here there was a groan from Solomon of compassion for the poor widow, +followed by a second, which was clearly a comment upon the first. What +a pity, said the first, to see so interesting a young widow without the +means of paying her rent--and is it not a wicked and hard-hearted world, +said the second that has not in it one individual to befriend her! Mrs. +Tyrrell looked round on hearing an expression of sympathy, and there was +Solomon gazing on her with a look, in which admiration and sympathy were +so well feigned, that she felt grateful to Solomon in her heart. As for +Phil, whether he gazed at her, his father, or at the attorney, such +was the comprehensive latitudinarianism of his squint, that she felt it +impossible to tell; neither, indeed, did she care. She was now in tears, +and Val having declared his determination to proceed, was silent, as if +out of respect to her feelings. At length she rose up, and when on the +eve of going out, she asked for the last time:-- + +“Mr. M'Clutchy is there no hope? I trust, sir, that when you consider +how long my family and my husband have been living on this property, +you'll think better of it than to bring myself and my poor orphan boy to +beggary and ruin. What will become of him and myself!” + +“D--n my honor, Mrs. Tyrrell, but I feel for you,” said Phil, eagerly, +as if rushing head foremost into a fit of the purest humanity. + +“Do not be cast down, Mrs. Tyrrell,” said Solomon, “there is one who can +befriend the widow, and who will be a father to the fatherless. Rely +on Him!--who knows but an instrument may be raised up for your relief. +Don't be thus cast down.” + +“No,” said Phil, “do not, or you will only spoil them devlish fine eyes +of yours, Mrs. Tyrrell, by crying. Come, come, father, you must +give her,the time she asks; upon my honor, I'll guarantee she, won't +disappoint. + +“And, if he is not sufficient, I will join him,” said Solomon; “you +may rest upon her word, my friend, for I am satisfied that no serious +falsehood's in the habit of proceeding from a mouth so sweet and +comely in expression, as Mrs. Tyrrell's. Come, Val, have a heart, and be +compassionate towards the fair widow.” + +“If you or Phil will pay the money,” said M'Clutchy, “well and good; but +you both know, that otherwise it is out of my power.” There is a +vast deal of acuteness of observation in Irish women, together with +a quickness of perception, that sometimes resembles instinct. Mrs. +Tyrrell's purity of feeling and good sense were offended at the +compliments which the attorney and Phil mixed up with the sympathy they +expressed for her. She felt something jar disagreeably upon her natural +delicacy, by their selecting the moment of her distress for giving +utterance to language, which, coming at any time from either of them +to one in her station of life, was improper; but, under the present +circumstances, an insult, and an impertinent trifling with her +affliction. + +“Well,” said she, without paying them the slightest attention, “I must +say, Mr. M'Clutchy, that if you proceed as you threaten to do, your +conduct towards me and my poor orphan will be such as I don't think you +can justify either to God or man. I wish you good morning, sir; I have +no more to say upon it.” + +“Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, if you begin to abuse us and lay down the law on the +matter, I have no more to say either.” + +She then went out, but had not left the hall, when Phil, following, said +in a low, impudent, confidential tone-- + +“Don't be in a hurry, Mrs. Tyrrell, just step into the parlor for a few +minutes, and we'll see what can be done--step in.” + +“No, sir,” she replied, feeling very naturally offended at the +familiarity of his manner, I will not step in; anything you have to, say +you can say it here.” + +“Yes--but, then, they may overhear us. D--n my honor, but you're a very +pretty woman, Mrs. Tyrrell, and I'd be sorry to see harsh, proceedings +taken against you--that is, if we could understand one another. The +scarlet hue of indignation had already overspread her face and temples, +her eyes flashed, and her voice became firm and full. + +“What do you mean, sir,” she asked. + +“Why,” said he, “couldn't there be an understanding between us? In fact, +Mrs. Tyrrell, you would find me a friend to you.” + +She made no reply but returned into the room. + +“Mr. M'Clutchy,” said she, “I thought that a woman--especially a poor, +unprotected widow like me--might, at least, come into your house about +her necessary business without being insulted; I thought that if there +was one house above another where I ought to expect protection, it is +yours. It's your duty, I think, to protect them that's livin' upon +this property, and strugglin' to pay you, or him that employs you, the +hard-earned rent that keeps them in poverty and hardship. I think, sir, +it ought to be your duty, as I said, to protect me, and such as me, +rather than leave us exposed to the abominable proposals of your son.” + +“How is this?” said Val; “where are you, Phil?” + +Phil entered with a grin on him, that betrayed very clearly the morals +of the father, as well as of himself. There was not the slightest +appearance of shame or confusion about him; on the contrary, he looked +upon the matter as a good joke, but, by no means, so good as if it had +been successful. + +“Phil,” said his father, barely restraining a smile, “is it possible +that you could dare to insult Mrs. Tyrrell under this roof?” + +“D--n my honor, a confounded lie,” replied Phil; “she wanted me to lend +her the money, and because I did not, she told you I made proposals to +her. All revenge and a lie.” + +Mrs. Tyrrell looked at him--“Well,” said she, “if there is a just God +in heaven, you will be made an example of yet. Oh! little they know that +own this property, and every other property like it--of the insults, +and hardships, and oppressions, that their tenantry must suffer in +their absence from them that's placed over them; and without any one to +protect them or appeal to for satisfaction or relief--sir, that villain +in the shape of your son--that cowardly villain knows that the words he +insulted me in are not yet cowld upon his lips.” + +“I have reason to put every confidence in what my son says,” replied +Val very coolly, “and he is not a villain, Mrs. Tyrrell--so I wish you a +good morning, ma'am!” + +This virtuous poor woman flushed with a sense of outraged modesty, with +scorn and indignation, left the room; and with a distracted mind and +a breaking heart, sought her orphan, whose innocent face of wonder she +bedewed on her return home with tears of the bitterest sorrow. + +It is not our intention to describe at full length the several +melancholy scenes which occurred between poverty and dependence on one +side and cold, cruel, insolent authority, on the other. It is needless +and would be painful to tell how much age and helplessness suffered at +the hands of these two persons; especially at those of Phil, whose chief +delight appeared to consist in an authoritative display of pomp and +natural cruelty. + +The widow had not been more than a minute gone, when the door opened, +and in walked, without note or preparation, a stout swarthy looking +fellow named M'Clean. “Well, Tom,” said Val, “is this you?” + +“Brother M'Clean,” said Solomon, “how are you?” + +“What would ail me?” said M'Clean, “there's nothing wrong with me but +what money could cure--if I had it.” + +“And you have no money, Tom!” said Val, smiling, “that, Tom, is a bad +business--for we never wanted it more than we do at present. Seriously, +have you the rent?” + +“D--n the penny, brother M'Clutchy; and what's more, won't have it for +at least three months.” + +“That's bad again, Tom. Any news?--any report?” + +“Why, ay--there was a gun, or a pistol, or a pike, or something that +way, seen with the Gallaghers of Kilscaddan.” + +“Ha--are you sure of that?” + +“Not myself sure; but I heard it on good authority; but I think we had +better make sure, by paying them a visit some night soon.” + +“We will talk about that,” said Val; “but I am told that you treated +priest Roche badly the other night. Is that true?” + +“Why, what did you hear?” asked M'Clean. + +“I heard you fired into his house; that you know was dangerous.” + +“All right,” said Phil; “what right have. Popish priests to live under +a Protestant government? By my sacred honor, I'd banish them like wild +cats.” + +“No,” said M'Clean, in reply to Val, “we did not; all we did was to play +'Croppies lie Down,' as we passed the house, and fire three volleys over +it--not into it; but if there was e'er a one among us with a bad aim you +know, that wasn't his fault or ours; ha--ha--by Japers,” said he in a +low, confidential whisper, “we frightened the seven senses out of him, +at any rate--the bloody Papist rascal--for sure they are all that, and +be d----d to them.” + +“Capital doctrine--and so they are, Tom; light, Tom; so you frightened +the bog Latin out of him! ha! ha! ha!” + +“Ha--ha--ha--by my sowl we did, and more maybe, if it was known; I must +be off now.” + +“Go and help yourself to a bumper of spirits before you go,” said Val; +“and, Tom, keep a sharp lookout, and whenever you find, or hear of arms, +let me know immediately.” + +Tom only nodded to that, as he put the glass to his lips; “gentlemen,” + said he, “your healths; here's no Popery! no surrender!” saying which, +he deposited the empty glass on the table, giving the same time two +or three short coughs occasioned by the strength of the liquor. “Good +morning, gentlemen--brother, M'Slime”--he voiced and nodded significantly +at Solomon, then added--“good people are scarce; so be a good boy and +take care of yourself.” + +“Now, Tom, be a good fellow and don't forget the rent,” said Val; Tom +nodded again, for it was a habit he had, and departed. + +The next person who presented himself was a little, meagre, thin looking +man, with a dry, serious air about him, that seemed to mark him as a +kind of curiosity in his way. From the moment he entered, Solomon seemed +to shrink up into half his ordinary dimensions, nor did the stranger +seem unconscious of this, if one could judge by the pungent expression +of his small gray eyes which were fastened on Solomon with a bitter +significance that indicated such a community of knowledge as did not +seem to be pleasant to either of them. + +“Ah, Sam Wallace,” said Val, “always punctual, and never more welcome +than now; scraping and scrambling we are, Sam, to make up the demand for +the landlord.” + +“What way ir ye, Mr. M'Clutchy; am gled to see ye luck so well; I a-am +indeed.” + +“Thank you, Sam. How are all your family.” + +“Deed, as well as can be expected under the stain that's over us.” + +“Stain! What do you mean, Sam?” + +“Feth, a main what's purty well known; that misfortune that befell our +daughter Susanna.” + +“Dear me, Sam, how was that?” + +“The way of it was this--she went as a children's maid into a religious +femily”--here the two glittering eyes were fiercely fastened upon +Solomon--“where she became a serious young person of decided piety, as +they call it--an' h--l till me, but another month will make it decided +enough---well, sir, deel a long she was there till the saint, her +masther, made a sinner of her, and now she's likely to have her gifts, +such as they ir. + +“I am very sorry to hear this, Sam; but, surely the man who seduced your +daughter does not deserve to be called religious.” + +“Disn't he, feth? why, Lord bless you, sure it was all done in a +religious way--they sang psalms together, prayed together, read the +Bible together, and now the truth is, that the consequence will be +speaking for itself some of these days.” + +Here another fiery look was darted at Solomon, who appeared deeply +engaged among leases, papers, and such other documents as were before +him. + +“It's a bad business certainly, Sam--but now about the rent?” + +“Hut! de'il a penny o' rent I have--hell take the tester; and yet, +for all that, all pay you afore a laive the room--what do you think of +that?” + +“I don't understand it, Sam.” + +“Now,” said Sam, going over to Solomon, “you'll pay Mr. M'Clutchy the +sum of twelve pounds, fourteen, and three pence for me, Mr. M'Slime--if +you please, sir.” + +There was a peremptory tone in his words, which, joined to the +glittering look he riveted on Solomon, actually fascinated that worthy +gentleman. + +“My friend,” replied Solomon, taking out his pocket-book, and seeming to +look for a memorandum, “you have made a slight mistake against yourself; +the sum, I find, is twelve pounds, seventeen, and three pence, so that +you have made a slight mistake of three shillings, as I said, against +yourself.” + +“Do you pay the half year's rent, which is the sum, I say, and you may +give the three shillings in charity, which I know you will do.” + +“Shall I fill the receipt,” asked Val, looking to Solomon. + +“Fill it,” said the other, “I am very glad I happened to have so much +about me, poor man.” + +“So am I,” returned Sam, significantly. + +Solomon rose, and with all the calmness of manner which he could assume, +laid the money down before M'Clutchy. + +“Try,” said he, “if that is right.” + +“Show here,” said Sam, “ail reckon em;” and having done so, he put one +particular note in his pocket--“Never you mind,” he added, addressing +himself to Val, “I'll give you another note for this;” and he winked +significantly as he spoke. He accordingly did so, and having paid the +money and received his receipt, he bid them goodbye, once more winking, +and touching his waistcoat pocket as he went. He had not been long gone, +however, when Solomon once more examined his pocket-book, and in a tone +which no pen could describe, exclaimed, “verily, the ways of Providence +are wonderful! Will you look again at that money?” said he--“I have +given away a note for ten pounds instead of a note for one.” + +“It is not here, then,” replied Val, “but I'll venture to say that Sam, +the knave, put it in his pocket when he made the exchange.” + +“Shall I call him back?” said Phil, “there he goes towards the gate.” + +“No,” replied the other, “I have great reliance on Sam's honesty. He +will return it no doubt on perceiving the mistake, or if not, I shall +send to him for it. Yes, I know Sam is honest--truly the ways of +Providence are wonderful.” + +So saying, with a visage peculiarly rueful and mortified, he closed his +book and put it in his pocket. + +The last person whom we shall notice was Brian M'Loughlin, on whose +features care had recently made a deep impression. On being asked to +sit, he declined--“I thank you,” said he, “my visit will be but a short +one, and what I have to say, I can say standing.” + +“That as you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; shall I fill your receipts?” + +“No,” replied the other, “I simply came to state, that, owing to the +derangement of our affairs, I am not just now in a condition to pay my +rent.” + +“That is unpleasant, Mr. M'Loughlin.” + +“Of course it is,” he replied; “that was my only business, Mr. +M'Clutchy, and now I bid you good-day.” + +“Not so fast, if you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; do not be in such a hurry. +You remember a meeting you and I had once in Castle Cumber fair?” + +“I do.” + +“You remember the extraordinary civility with which you treated me?” + +“I do, Val, and I only expressed what I thought then and think now; but +indeed you have improved the wrong way wonderfully since.” + +“Your language was indiscreet then, and it is so now.” + +“It was true for all that, Mr. M'Clutchy.” + +“Now, might not I, if I wished, take ample revenge for the insulting +terms you applied to me?” + +“You might, and I suppose you will--I expect nothing else, for I know +you well.” + +“You do not know me. Mr. M'Loughlin, so far from acting up to what +you imagine, I shall not avail myself of your position; I have no +such intention, I assure you, so that whatever apprehensions you +may entertain from others, you need have none from me. And, now, +Mr. M'Loughlin, do you not perceive that you judged me unjustly and +uncharitably?” + +“That's to be seen yet, Mr. M'Clutchy, time will tell.” + +“Well, then, make your mind easy; I shall take no proceedings in +consequence of your situation--so far from that, I shall wait patiently +till it is your convenience to pay the rent--so now, I wish you good +day, Mr. M'Loughlin.” + +“That is a beautiful exhibition of Christian spirit,” exclaimed Solomon, +“good works are truly the fruit of faith.” + +“Before you go,” said Phil, with a sneer, “will you allow me to ask how +poor Mary is.” + +M'Loughlin paused, and calmly looked first at Phil, and then at his +father. + +“Phil,” said the latter, “I shall order you out of the room, sir, if I +hear another word on that unfortunate subject. I am very sorry, I assure +you, Mr. M'Loughlin, for that untoward transaction--to be sure, I wish +your daughter had been a little more prudent, but young ladies cannot, +or at least, do not always regulate their passions or attachments; and +so, when they make a false step, they must suffer for it. As for myself, +I can only express my sincere regret that the _faux pas_ happened, and +that it should have got wind in such a way as to deprive the poor girl +of her character.” + +After contemplating the father and son for some time alternately, with +a look in which was visible the most withering contempt and scorn, and +which made them both quail before him, he replied: + +“Your falsehood, scoundrels, is as vindictive as it is cowardly, and you +both know it; but I am an honest man, and I feel to stoop to a defence +of my virtuous child against either of you, would be a degradation to +her as well as to myself. I therefore go, leaving you my contempt and +scorn, I could almost say my pity.” + +He then walked out, neither father nor son having thought it prudent to +brave the expression of his eye by replying to his words. + +“Now,” said Val, addressing Solomon, “let there be an execution issued +without a moment's delay--the man is doomed, his hour has come; and +so, may I never prosper, if I don't scatter him and his, houseless and +homeless, to the four corners of heaven! I have meshed him at last, and +now for vengeance.” + +“But,” said Solomon, in a tone of slight remonstrance, “I trust, my dear +M'Clutchy, that,in taking vengeance upon this man and his family, you +will do so in a proper spirit, and guard against the imputations of an +uncharitable world. When you take vengeance, let your motives be always +pure and upright and even charitable--of course you expect and hope +that you ruin this man and his; family for their own spiritual good. The +affliction that you are about! to bring on them, will soften and subdue +their hard and obstinate hearts, and lead them it is to be hoped, to a +better and more Christian state of feeling. May He grant it!” + +“Of course,” replied Val, humoring him in his hypocrisy, “of course it +is from these motives I act; certainly it is.” + +“In that case,” said Solomon, “I am bound to acknowledge that I never +have heard a man vow vengeance, or express a determination to ruin his +fellow creature, upon more delightfully Christian principles. It is a +great privilege, indeed, to be able to ruin a whole family in such a +blessed spirit, I have no doubt you feel it so.” + + + + +CHAPTEK XXIV.--Raymond's Sense of Justice + +--Voice of the Ideal--Poll Doolin's Remorse--Conversation on Irish +Property--Disclosure concerning Mary M'Laughlin + + +About dusk, on the evening of that day, Poll Doolin having put on her +black bonnet, prepared to go out upon some matter of a private nature, +as was clearly evident by her manner, and the cautious nature of all her +movements. Raymond, who eyed her closely, at length said-- + +“Take care now--don't harm them.” + +“Them!” replied Poll, “who do you mean by them?” + +“The M'Loughlins--go and look at Mary, and then ask yourself why you +join the divil:--there now, that's one. Who saved me? do you know that, +or do you care? Very well, go now and join the divil, if you like, but I +know what I'll do some fine night. Here he leaped in a state of perfect +exultation from the ground. + +“Why, what will you do?” said Poll. + +“You'll not tell to-morrow,” replied Raymond, “neither will any one +else; but I don't forget poor white-head, nor Mary M'Loughlin.” + +“Well, keep the house like a good boy,” she said, “till I come back; +and, if anybody should come in, or ask where I am, say that I went up to +Jerry Hannigan's for soap and candles.” + +“Ay, but that's not true, because I know you're goin' to join the divil; +but, no matter--go there--you'll have his blessin' any how, and it's +long since he gave it to you--with his left hand. I wish I wasn't your +son--but no matther, no matther.” + +She then peeped out to see that the coast was clear, and finding that +all was safe, she turned her steps hurriedly and stealthily, in a +direction leading from, instead of to Castle Cumber. When she was gone, +Raymond immediately closed and bolted the door, and began as before, to +spring up in the air in a most singular and unaccountable manner. +The glee, however, which became apparent on his countenance, had an +expression of ferocity that was frightful; his eyes gleamed with fire, +his nostrils expanded, and a glare of terrible triumph lit up every +feature with something of a lurid light. + +“Ha, ha!” he exclaimed, addressing, as some imaginary individual, an old +pillow which he caught up; “I have you at last--now, now, now; ha, you +have a throat, have you? I feel it now, now, now! Ay, that will do; hoo, +hoo--out with it, out with it; I see the tip of it only, but you must +give better measure ay, that's like it. Hee, hee, hee! Oh, there--that +same tongue never did you good, nor anybody else good--and what blessed +eyes you have! they are comin' out, too, by degrees, as the lawyers +goes to Heaven! Now! now! now! ay, where's your strugglin' gone to? It's +little you'll make of it in Raymond's iron fingers--Halloo, this is for +white-head, and white-head's--poor little white-head's---father, and +for poor little white-head's mother, and this--ay, the froth's comin' +now, now, now--and this last's for poor Mary M'Loughlin! Eh, ho, ho! +There now--settled at last, with your sweet grin upon you, and your +tongue out, as if you were makin' fun of me--for a beauty you were, and +a beauty you are, and there I lave you!” + +While uttering these words, he went through with violent gesticulations, +the whole course and form of physical action that he deemed necessary to +the act of strangling worthy Phil, whose graceful eidolon was receiving +at his hands this unpleasant specimen of the pressure from without. He +had one knee on the ground, his huge arms moving with muscular energy, +as he crushed and compressed the pillow, until the very veins of his +forehead stood out nearly black with the force at once of hatred and +exertion. Waving thus wrought his vengeance out to his own satisfaction, +he once more, in imagination, transformed the pillow into his little +white-head, as he loved to call him; and assumed a very different aspect +from that which marked the strangulation scene just described. + +“Come here,” said he--taking it up tenderly in his arms--“come +here--don't be afeard now; there's nobody that can do you any harm. Ah! +my poor white-head--don't! you want your mother to keep up your poor +sick head, and to lay your poor pale face against her breast? And +your father--you would like to get upon his knee and climb up to kiss +him--wouldn't you, white-head? Yes, he says he would--white-head says he +would--and tell me, sure I have the cock for you still; and if you want +a drink I have-something better than bog wather for you--the sickening +bog wather! Oh! the poor-pale face--and the poor sickly eye--up in the +cowld mountains, and no one to think about you, or to give you comfort! +Whisht now--be good--och, why do I say that, poor white-head--for sure +you were always good! Well wait--bog wather--ah, no--but wait here--or +come wid me--I won't lay you down, for I love you, my poor white-head; +but come, and you must have it. My mother's gone out--and she's not +good; but you must have it.” + +He rose, still holding the pillow like a child in his arms, and going +over to a cupboard, took from it a jug of milk, and so completely was +he borne away by the force of his imagination that he actually poured a +portion of the milk upon the pillow. + +The act seemed for the moment to dispel, the illusion--but only for +a moment; the benevolent heart of the poor creature seemed, to take +delight in these humane reminiscences; and, almost immediately, he was. +proceeding with his simple, but touching little drama. + +“Well,” said he, “that's better than cowld bog wather; how would the +rich like to see their sick childre put on cowld wather and cowld +pratees? But who cares for the rich, for the rich doesn't care about +huz; but no matther, white-head--if you'll only just open your eyes +and spake to me, I'll give you the cock.” He gave a peculiar call, as +he spoke, which was perfectly well known to the bird in question, which +immediately flew from the roost, and went up to him; Raymond then gently +laid the pillow down, and taking the cock up, put his head under one of +his wings, and placed him on the pillow where he lay quietly and as if +asleep. For many minutes he kept his eyes fixed upon the objects before +him, until the image in his mind growing still stronger, and more +distinct, became at last so painful that he, burst into tears. + +“No,” said he, “he will never open his eyes again; he will never look +upon any one more: and what will she do when she hasn't his white head +before her?” + +Whilst poor Raymond thus indulged himself in the caprices of a +benevolent imagination, his mother was hastening to the house of Mr. +Hickman, the former agent of the Castle Cumber property, with the +intention of rendering an act of justice to an individual and a family +whom she had assisted deeply and cruelly to injure. Whilst she is on the +way, however, we will take the liberty of introducing our readers to Mr. +Hickman's dining-room, where a small party are assembled; consisting of +the host himself, Mr. Easel, the artist, Mr. Harman, and the Rev. Mr. +Clement; and as their conversation bears upon the topic of which we +write, we trust it may not be considered intruding upon private society +to detail a part of it. + +“Property in this country,” said Hickman, “is surrounded by many +difficulties--difficulties which unfortunately fall chiefly upon those +who cultivate it. In the first place, there is the neglect of the +landlord; in the next, the positive oppression of either himself or +his agent; in the third, influence of strong party feeling--leaning too +heavily on one class, and sparing or indulging the other; and perhaps, +what is worse than all, and may be considered the _fons et origo +malorum_, the absence of any principle possessing shape or form, or that +can be recognized as a salutary duty on the part of the landlord. +This is the great want and the great evil. There should be a distinct +principle to guide, to stimulate, and when necessary to restrain +him; such a principle as would prevent him from managing his property +according to the influence of his passions, his prejudices, or his +necessities.” + +“That is very true,” said Mr. Clement, “and there is another duty which +a landlord owes to those who reside upon his property, but one which +unfortunately is not recognized as such; I mean a moral duty. In +my opinion a landlord should be an example of moral propriety and +moderation to his tenantry, so as that the influence of his conduct +might make a salutary impression upon their lives and principles. +At present the landed Proprietary of Ireland find in the country no +tribunal by which they are to be judged; a fact which gives them the +full possession of unlimited authority; and we all know that the absence +of responsibility is a great incentive to crime. No man in a free +country should be invested with arbitrary power; and yet, it is +undeniable that an Irish landlord can exercise it whenever he pleases.” + +“Then what would you do,” said Easel; “where is your remedy?” + +“Let there be protective laws enacted, which will secure the tenant from +the oppression and injustice of the landlord. Let him not lie, as he +does, at the mercy of his caprices, passions, or prejudices.” + +“In other words,” said Harman, “set the wolves to form protective +enactments for the sheep. I fear, my good sir, that such a scheme +is much too Utopian for any practically beneficial purpose. In the +meantime, if it can be done, let it. No legislation, however, will +be able, in my mind, to bind so powerful a class as the landlords of +Ireland are, unless a strong and sturdy public opinion is created in the +country.” + +“But how is this to be done?” asked Easel. + +“It is to be done by educating the people; by teaching them their proper +value in society; by instructing them in their moral and civil duties. +Let them not labor under that humiliating and slavish error, that the +landlord is everything, and themselves nothing; but let the absurdity +be removed, and each party placed upon the basis of just and equal +principle.” + +“It is very right,” said Hickman, “to educate the people, but who is to +educate the landlords?” + +“A heavy task, I fear,” said Easel, “from what I have observed since I +came to the country.” + +“The public opinion I speak of will force them into a knowledge of their +duties. At present they disregard public opinion, because it is too +feeble to influence them; and consequently they feel neither fear nor +shame. So long as the landlords and the people come together as opposing +or antithetical principles, it is not to be supposed that the country +can prosper.” + +“But how will you guide or restrain the landlord in estimating the value +of his property?” inquired Mr. Clement. “Here are two brothers, for +instance, each possessed of landed property; one is humane and +moderate, guided both by good sense and good feeling; this man will +not overburthen his tenant by exacting an oppressive rent. The other, +however, is precisely the reverse of him, being naturally either +rapacious or profligate, or perhaps both; he considers it his duty to +take as much out of the soil as he can, without ever thinking of the +hardships which he inflicts upon the tenant. Now, how would you remedy +this, and prevent the tenant from becoming the victim either of his +rapacity or profligacy?” + +“Simply by taking from him all authority in estimating the value of his +own property. + +“But how?” said Clement, “is not that an invasion of private right?” + +“No; it is nothing more than a principle which transfers an unsafe +privilege to other hands in order to prevent its abuse.” + +“But how would you value the land?” + +“I am not at this moment about to legislate for it; but I think, +however, that it would be by no means difficult to find machinery +sufficiently simple and effective for the purpose. I am clearly of +opinion that there should, be a maximum value on all land, beyond +which, unless for special purposes--such, for instance, as building--no +landlord ought to be permitted to go. This would prevent an incredible +amount of rack-renting and oppression on the one hand; and of poverty, +revenge, and bloodshed on the other. Where is the landlord now who looks +to the moral character or industrial habits of a tenant? Scarcely one. +On the contrary, whoever bids highest, or bribes highest, is sure to +be successful, without any reference to the very qualities which, in a +tenant, ought to be considered as of most importance.” + +“I have now,” said Easel, “made myself acquainted with the condition and +management of the Castle Cumber property; and, truth to tell, I am not +surprised at the frightful state of society upon it. M'Clutchy is +the type of too numerous a class, and his son is a most consummate +scoundrel. Why my--why Lord Cumber should have appointed him to his +agency I cannot imagine.” + +“But I can,” said Harman; “that which has appointed many a scoundrel +like him--necessity on the part of the landlord, and a desire to extend +his political influence in the county.” + +“He could not have gone a more successful way about it, however,” + observed Easel. + +“If there be one curse,” observed Harman, “worse than another on any +such property, it is to have for your agent an outrageous partisan--a +man who is friendly to one party and inimical to another--a fellow who +scruples not to avail himself of his position, for the gratification of +party rancor, and who makes the performance of his duties subservient to +his prejudices, both religious and political. Think, for instance, of a +rancorous No-Popery-man being made agent to an estate where the majority +of the tenantry are Catholics.” + +“As is the case on the Castle Cumber estate,” said Easel. + +“And as is the case on too many estates, throughout the country,” added +Harman; but the truth is, that unless something is done soon to redress +the local grievances of the people, there will, I fear, be bad work +among us ere long. The tenantry are all ready in a state of tumult; they +assemble on Sundays in vindictive-looking and suspicious groups; they +whisper together, as if fraught with some secret purposes; and I am also +told that they frequently hold nightly meetings to deliberate on what +may be done. Between the M'Clutchys and M'Slimes, I must say they have +ample cause for discontent.” + +“Everything considered,” said Easel, “it is better that we should +anticipate them. When I say we, you of course know who I mean; but +indeed we shall expect every aid, and it will be welcome, no matter from +what quarter it comes.” + +“M'Clutchy and the estate in question are topics on which I wish not to +speak,” said Hickman; “I do not blame Lord Cumber for dismissing me, +Mr. Easel, the fact being--that I dismissed myself; but I most sincerely +hope and trust, for the sake of the people, that some change for the +better may take place. Good God, sir, how popular your----how popular +Lord Cumber might become, and what a blessing to his tenantry and his +country he might be in a short time.” + +“I feel that, Mr. Hickman,” said Easel, “I feel it now, because I know +it. In this instance, too, I trust that knowledge will be power. Lord +Cumber, sir, like other Irish Lords, has nothing to detain him in his +native country but his own virtue. His absence, however, and the absence +of his class in general, is, I fear “--and he smiled as he spoke--a +proof that his virtue, as an Irish nobleman, and theirs, is not +sufficiently strong to resist the temptations of an English court, and +all its frivolous, expensive, and fashionable habits. He has now no +duty as an Irish peer to render his residence in Ireland, at least for a +considerable portion of the year, a matter of necessity to his class and +his country. However, let us not despair--I have reason to think that +his brother has nearly succeeded in bringing him to a sense of his duty; +and it is not impossible that the aspect of affairs may be soon changed +upon his estate.” + +“The sooner, the better, for the sake of the people,” said Harman. “By +the by, Mr. Clement, are you to be one of the Reverend gladiators in +this controversial tournay, which is about to take place in Castle +Cumber?” + +“No,” said Mr. Clement; “I look upon such exhibitions as manifestations +of fanaticism, or bigotry, and generally of both. They are, in fact, +productive of no earthly good, but of much lamentable evil; for instead +of inculcating brotherly love, kindness, and charity--they inflame the +worst passions of adverse creeds--engender hatred, ill-will, and fill +the public mind with those narrow principles which disturb social +harmony, and poison our moral feelings in the very fountain of the +heart. I believe there is no instance on record of a sincere convert +being made by such discussions.” + +“But is there not an extensive system of conversion proceeding, called +the New Reformation?” asked Easel. “It appears to me by the papers, that +the Roman Catholic population are embracing Protestantism by hundreds.” + +“How little are the true causes of great events known,” said Hickman, +laughing; “who, for instance, would suppose that the great spiritual +principle by which this important movement has been sustained is the +failure of the potato crop in the country, where this gracious work is +proceeding. One would think, if everything said were true, that there +are epidemics in religion as well as in disease; but the truth is, that +the knavery or distress of two or three Catholics who were relieved, +when in a state of famine, by a benevolent and kind-hearted nobleman, +who certainly would encourage neither dishonesty nor imposture, first +set this Reformation agoing. The persons I speak of, fearing that his +Lordship's benevolence might cease to continue, embraced Protestantism +_pro forma and pro tempore_. This went abroad, and almost immediately +all who were in circumstances of similar destitution adopted the same +course, and never did man pay more dearly for evangelical truth than did +his Lordship. In the forthcoming battle the parsons are to prove to the +world that all who belong to Popery must be damned, whilst the priests, +on the other hand, broil the parsons until they blaze in their own fat. +But, my God, when will charity and common sense prevail over bigotry and +brimstone!” + +At this moment a servant entered to say that Poll Doolin--for she was +well known--wished to see Mr. Harman on very particular business. + +“I can scarcely bear to look on the wretch,” said Harman, “but as I +Strongly suspect, that she may in some shape be useful to us, I desired +her to come here. She called three times upon me, but I could not bring +myself to see or speak to' her; she shall be the bearer of no messages +to me,” he said bitterly, “let her carry them elsewhere; d--n her.” + +He betrayed deep and powerful emotion as he spoke, but, as his allusions +were understood, there was--from a respect for his feelings, on the part +of his audience--no reply made to his observations. + +“Since she called first,” said Harman, pursuing the train of melancholy +thought, “some vague notion, like the shadow of a dream crossed me; +but, alas! it is transgressing the bounds of imagination itself even +to suppose that it could be true. However, if it were, it is in your +presence, sir” he said, addressing himself to Easel, “that I should wish +to have it detailed; and, perhaps, after all, this slight, but latent +reflection of hope, influenced me in desiring her to come here. +Gentlemen, excuse me,” said he, covering his face with his hands, “I am +very wretched and unhappy--I cannot account for what has occurred; it +looks like an impossibility, but it is true. Oh, if he were a man!--but, +no, no, you all know how contemptible--what a dastardly scoundrel he +is!” + +“Harman, my dear fellow,” said Hickman, “we understand you, we respect +your feelings, and we sympathize with you--but, in the meantime, do see +and hear this woman.” + +He had scarcely uttered the words when the servant entered, stating that +she was at the door. + +“Let her come in,” said Harman; “let the vile wretch come in.” + +“And, do you, John, withdraw,” said Hickman. + +Poll Doolin entered. + +Her appearance threw Harman into a violent state of agitation; he +trembled, got pale, and seemed absolutely sickened by the presence of +the wicked wretch who had been the vile instrument of Phil M'Clutchy's +success, of Mary M'Loughlin's dishonor, and of his own unhappiness. It +was the paleness, however, of indignation, of distress, of misery, of +despair. His blood, despite the paleness of his face, absolutely boiled +in his veins, and that the more hotly, because he had no object on which +he could wreak his vengeance. Poll, who was always cool, and not without +considerable powers of observation, at once noticed the tumult of his +feelings, and, as if replying to them, said-- + +“I don't blame you, Mr. Harman, thinkin' as you do; the sight of me +is not pleasant to you--and, indeed, you don't hate me more than you +ought.” + +“What is your business with me?” said Harman. + +Poll looked around her for a moment, and replied-- + +“I'm glad of it, the more the better; Francis Harman,” she proceeded, +“sit down, and listen to me; yes, listen to me--for I have it in my +power to make you a happy man.” + +“Great God! could my dream be true?” said Harman, placing himself in the +chair. + +“Listen to me,” she continued. + +“I listen; be brief--for I am in no humor for either falsehood or +imposture.” + +“I never bore you ill-will,” she said, “and yet I have--and may God +forgive me for it I--scalded the very heart within you.” + +Harman again covered his face with his hands and groaned. + +“Will it relieve your heart to know that Mary M'Loughlin's an innocent +and a slandered girl?” + +“Prove that,” said Harman, starting to his feet, “oh, prove that, Poll, +and never whilst I have life shall you want a--but, alas!” he exclaimed, +“I am a beggar, and can promise you nothing.” + +“And I'll tell you who beggared you before all is over--but, as I said, +listen. It's now fifteen years since Brian M'Loughlin transported my son +Dick, for stealin' a horse from him; he was my only son, barrin' poor +Raymond, who was then a mere slip. He was a fine young man, but he was +wild and wicked, and it was in Squire Deaker's house, and about +Squire Deaker's stables, that he picked up his dishonesty and love of +horses--he was groom to that ould profligate, who took him into sarvice +for a raison he had.” + +“Be as brief as you can,” said Harman, “brief--brief.” + +“On the contrary, Mr. Harman,” said Clement, “let her, if you will be +advised by me, take her own time, and her own way.” + +“Thank you, sir,” said Poll, “that's just what I wish. Well, he, +M'Loughlin, transported my boy, that my heart was in, and from that +minute I swore never to die till I'd revenge that act upon him. Very +well--I kept my word. Phil M'Clutchy sent for me, and in his father's +presence, we made up a plot to disgrace Miss M'Loughlin. I brought her +out two or three times to meet me privately, and it was all on your +account, by the way, for I tould her you were in danger; and I so +contrived it, that on one or two occasions you should see myself and her +together. I made her promise solemnly not to tell that she saw me, or +mention what passed between us, or if she did, that your life was not +safe; her love for you, kept her silent even to yourself. But it was +when you were sent to gaol, that we found we had the best opportunity of +ruining her, which was all I wanted: but Phil, the boy, wished to give +you a stab as well as her. As for myself it was in for a penny, in for a +pound with me, and I didn't care a traheen what you suffered, provided +I had my revenge on any one belongin' to Brian M'Loughlin, that +transported my son.” + +“Is Mary M'Loughlin innocent?” asked Harman, starting from his seat, and +placing his face within a few inches of Poll Doolin's. + +Poll calmly put her hand upon his shoulder, and said:-- + +“Sit down, young man; don't disturb or stop me in what I'm sayin', and +you'll come the sooner at the truth.” + +“You are right,” he replied, “but who can blame me?--my happiness +depends on it.” + +“Listen,” said she, “we made up a plan that she was to meet Phil behind +her father's garden--and why? Why, because I told her that Val had +made up his mind to hang you; but I said that Phil, for her sake, could +prevent that, and save you, if she would only see him that he might +clear himself of some reports that had gone abroad on him. For your +sake she consented to that; but not until I had brought her nearly to +despair, and till she believed that there was no other hope for you. +It was Val M'Clutchy, though, that put me up to bring several of the +neighbors, and among the rest your own cousin, to witness the trick of +Phil's gettin' in at the windy; as it was his to bring the bloodhounds, +at the very minute, to catch the scoundrel in the poor girl's bedroom. +That was enough; all the wather in the say couldn't wash her white, when +this was given to the tongue of scandal to work upon.” + +“But,” said Mr. Clement, “you unfortunate woman, let me ask, why you +suffered Mr. Harman to live under a conviction of Miss M'Loughlin's +guilt?” + +“I tould you I had sworn to be revenged on either him, M'Loughlin, or +his; and so I was--may God forgive me!--but one day that my poor foolish +son undertook to convey Hugh Roe O'Regan's wife across the ford of Drum +Dhu river while in a flood, he lost his footing, and never would breathe +the breath of life again, only that God sent John M'Loughlin to the +spot, and at the risk of his own life, he saved poor Raymond's. From +that day out my heart changed. If one son was sent from me in life, +the other was saved from death; and I swore to tell you the truth. But +that's not the only injury I have done you. They put me up, and so +did Solomon M'Slime, to drop hints wherever I went, that you and Mr. +M'Loughlin were on the point of failin'; and, I believe, from some words +I heard Phil say to Solomon one morning, that they put something into +the paper that injured you.” + +“What was it you heard?” said Hickman. + +“Phil said--'all right, Solomon, it's in--and--d--n my honor and +reputation, but it will set a screw loose in the same firm;' he was +reading the paper as he spoke.” + +“All this is of great value,” said Easel, “and must be made use of.” + +“As for me,” said Harman in an impassioned voice, “I care not a jot for +our bankruptcy; the great and oppressive evil of my heart is removed; I +ought, I admit, to have known that admirable girl better than to suffer +any suspicion of; her to have-entered into my heart; but, then, I must +have discredited my own eyes--and so I ought. God bless you, Poll! +I forgive you all that you and those malignant villains have made me +suffer, in consequence of what you have just now disclosed to us.” + +“I could not have believed this,” observed Easel; “I scarcely thought +that such profound infamy was in human nature. Good God--and these two +men hold the important offices of Head and Under Agent on the Castle +Cumber estate!” + +“Have you nothing particular, Poll, about that pious little man, +M'Slime?” asked Hickman. Poll, however, who in no instance was ever +known to abuse professional confidence, shook her head in the negative. + +“No;” said she, “I know nothing that I can tell about him; honor +bright's my motive--no--no. However, thank God, I've aised my mind by +tellin' the truth, and when you see Mr. M'Loughlin, Mr. Harman, I'll +thank you to let him know that I have done his daughter justice, and +that from the minute his son saved mine, I had no ill-will to him or his +family.” She then departed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV.--Val and his Son brought to Trial + +A Ribbon Lodge--Their Crimes against the People,--Their Doom and +Sentence--A Rebel Priest Preaching Treason--A Respite. + + +It is undoubtedly a fact, as was observed in the dialogue just given, +that the state of affairs on this property was absolutely fearful. The +framework of society was nearly broken up, for such was the heartless +rapacity and cruelty--such the multiplied and ingenious devices by which +he harassed and robbed the tenantry, or wreaked his personal vengeance +on all who were obnoxious to him or his son, that it was actually +impossible matters could proceed much longer in a peaceable state. If +the reader will accompany us to a large waste house, from which a +man had been some time before ejected, merely because Val had a pique +against him, he may gather from the lips of the people themselves, there +assembled, on the very night in question, sufficiently clear symptoms of +the state of feeling in the neighborhood. + +The hour at which they assembled, or rather began to assemble, was +eleven o'clock, from which period until twelve they came in small groups +of two or three at a time; so as to avoid observation on the way. Some +of them had their faces blackened, and others who appeared utterly +indifferent to consequences, did not think it worth their while to +assume such a disguise. The waste house in which they were assembled, +stood on a hillside, about half way between Castle Cumber and Drum Dhu; +so that its isolated situation was an additional proof of their security +from, surprise by the bloodhounds. The party were nearly all armed, each +with such weapons as he could get, and most of them with fire or side +arms, such as they were. They had several lights, but so cautious were +they, that quilts and window-cloth's were brought to hang over the +windows, to prevent them from being seen; for it was well known that the +house was not inhabited, and the appearance of lights in it would most +certainly send the wreckers on their back; as it was, however, they +obviated all danger of this in the way I mention. When these men were +met together, it might be supposed that they presented countenances +marked by savage and ferocious passions, and that atrocity and cruelty +were the-predominating traits in each face. This, however, was not so. +In general they were just as any other number of men brought together +for any purpose might be. Some, to be sure, among them betrayed strong +indications of animal impulse; but taken together, they looked just as +I say. When they were all nearly assembled, one might-naturally imagine +that the usual animated dialogue and discussions, which the cause that +brought them together furnished, would have taken place. This, however, +was not the case. On the contrary, there was something singularly wild, +solemn, and dreadful, in their comparative quietness; for silence we +could not absolutely term it. + +There were many reasons for this. In the first place, there existed +an apprehension of the yeomanry and cavalry, who had on more than one +occasion surprised meetings of this description before. 'Tis true +they had sentinels placed--but the sentinels themselves had been made +prisoners of by parties of yeomen and blood-hounds, who had come in +colored clothes, in twos and threes, like the Ribbon men themselves. +There were other motives, however, for the stillness which +prevailed--motives which, when we consider them, invest the whole +proceedings with something that is calculated to fill the mind with +apprehension and fear. Here were men unquestionably assembled for +illegal purposes--for the perpetration of crime--for the shedding +of human blood. But in what light did they view this terrible +determination? Simply as a redress of grievances; as the only means left +them of doing that for themselves which the laws refused to do for them. +They keenly and bitterly felt the scourge of the oppressor, who, +under the sanction, and in the name of those laws which ought to +have protected them, left scarcely anything undone to drive them +to desperation; and now finding that the law existed only for their +punishment, they resolved to legislate for themselves, and retaliate +on their oppressor. There is an awful lesson in all this; for it is +certainly a frightful thing to see law and justice so partially and +iniquitously administered as to disorganize society, and to make men +look upon murder as an act of justice, and the shedding of blood as a +moral triumph, if not a moral virtue. When, therefore, the very little +conversation which took place among them, and that little in so low a +tone, is placed in connection with the dark and deadly object of their +meeting, it is no wonder that one cannot help feeling strangely and +fearfully on contemplating it. + +About twelve o'clock they were all assembled but one individual, whom +they appeared to expect, and for whom they looked out eagerly. Indeed +they all came to a unanimous resolution of doing nothing that pertained +to the business of the night until he should come. For this purpose they +had not to wait long. A little past twelve a tall and powerful young +man entered, leading by the hand poor insane Mary O'Regan--his pitiable +and unconscious mother. He had heard of the death of his brother, during +the cruel scene at Drum Dhu, and of the other inhuman outrage which +had driven her mad. He had come from a remote part of England with the +single, fixed, and irrevocable purpose of wreaking vengeance on the head +of him who had brought madness, desolation, and death upon his family. + +On his entering, there was a slight low murmur of approbation, but the +appearance of his mother caused it to die away. This, however, was +almost immediately succeeded by another of a very different +character--one in which there was a blending of many feelings--compassion, +rage, revenge. The first thing the young man did was to take a candle in +his hand, and hold it first close to his mother, so as that she might be +distinctly seen, and afterward, near to his own face, in order that she +might have a clear and equally distinct view of him. “Mother,” said he, +then, in a full voice, “do you know your son?” Her eye was upon him as +he spoke, but it was vacant; there appeared no trace of recognition or +meaning in it. + +“You all see that miserable sight,” said he--“there my mother stands, +and doesn't know who it is that is spaking to her. There she stands, +blasted and destroyed by the oppressor. You all see this heart-breaking +sight with your own eyes, and you all know who did it.” + +'Tis singular how closely virtue and crime are allied! The very sympathy +excited by this touching and melancholy spectacle--the very tenderness +of the compassion that was felt for the mother and son, hardened the +heart in a different sense, and stimulated them to vengeance. + +“Now,” said the young man, whose name was Owen, “let them that have been +oppressed and harassed by this Vulture, state their grievances, one at a +time.” + +An old man near sixty rose up, and after two or three attempts to speak, +was overpowered by his feelings, and burst into tears. “Poor Jemmy +Devlin!” they exclaimed, “may God pity you!” + +“Spake for Jemmy, some of you, as the poor man isn't able to spake for +himself.” + +“Why, the case was this,” said a neighbor of the poor man's. “Jemmy's +son, Peter, was abused by Phil, the boy, because he didn't pay him +duty-work, and neglect his own harvest. He told Peter that he was a +Popish rebel and would be hanged. Peter told him to his teeth that he +was a liar, and that he couldn't be good, havin' the father's bastard +dhrop in him. That was very well, but one night in about a month +afterwards, the house was surrounded by the bloodhounds, poor Peter's +clo'es searched, and some Ribbon papers found in them; they also got, or +pretended to get, other papers in the thatch of the house. The boy +was dragged out of his bed, sent to goal, tried, found guilty on the +evidence of the bloodhounds, and sentenced to be flogged three times; +but never was flogged a third time, for he died on the fourth day after +the second flogging; and so, bein' an only son--indeed all the child the +poor couple had--the old man is now childless and distracted, God help +him!” + +“Very well,” exclaimed Owen bitterly--“very well--who next?” + +A man named M'Mahon rose up,--“The curse of the Almighty God may for +ever rest upon him!” he exclaimed. “He transported my two brave sons, +because they were White-boys; and if they were, who made them Whiteboys +but himself and his cruelty? I will never see my darling sons' faces +again, but if I die without settlin' accounts wid him, may I never know +happiness here or hereafter!” + +The usual murmur of commiseration followed this. + +“Well,” said Owen, “whose turn comes next?” + +About a dozen of those who had been turned out of Drum Dhu now stood up. + +“We were turned out,” said one of them, who acted as spokesman, “on one +of the bittherest days that God ever sent on the earth; out of shame, I +believe, because your brother and ould Mary Casey died, he let us back +for a few days, but after that we had to flit. Some of the houses he had +pulled down, and then he had to build them again for his voters. Oh, if +it was only known what we suffered!” + +“And why did he turn you out?” + +“Why, because we didn't promise to vote as he wished.” + +“He took my crop,” said another, “at his own valuation, drew it home, +and stacked it until the markets rose. I know what he got beyond the +rent,” proceeded the man, “but divil a rap ever the villain gave me back +of the surplus, but put it in his pocket--and now I and my family are +starving.” + +“Ay, and,” said another, “he took five firkins of as good butter from +me as ever was made by hand, and at his own price, too. What could I +do?--he said it was as a friend he did it; but if I objected to it, he +said he must only seize. May the divil seize him, at any rate, as he +will, the villain, I trust in God! He got to my own knowledge, thirteen +pence a pound for it, and all he allowed me for it was eight pence +halfpenny. May the devil run an auger through him, or baste his sowl wid +it, this night; for of all the villains that ever cursed an estate, he's +the greatest--barrin' the scoundrel that employs him.” + +A poor but decent-looking man rose up. “I could bear,” said he, “his +cheating, or his defrauding me out of my right--I could bear that, +although it's bad enough too; but when I think of the shame and disgrace +his son brought upon my innocent girl, undher his father's roof, +where she was at sarvice--may God curse him this night! My child--my +child--when I think of what she was, and what she is, sure the thought +of it is enough to drive me distracted, and to break my heart. Are we to +live undher sich men? Ought we to allow sich villains to tramp us undher +their feet? When I spoke to his blasted son about ruinin' my child--'My +good fellow,' says he, 'if you don't keep a civil tongue in your head, +I will trot you off the estate--I will send you to graze somewhere else. +It's d--d proud you ought to feel for your daughter having a child by +the like o' me;'--for that's the way--they first injure us, and kick us +about as they plaise, and then laugh at and insult us.” + +Another man got up. “You all know,” said he, “that I hould fourteen +acres in the townland of Augha-Winchal; and when Jerry Grogan went to +America last spring, I offered for his farm of twelve acres, that lay +into my own, marchin it. I offered him the rent he axed, which indeed +was too much at any rate--but it lay so snug to me, that I could take +more out of it than another. 'You shall have the farm, Frank,' said he; +'but if you do, there must be ten pounds of an Imput.'* Well and good, +I paid him the ten pounds, and Paddy Gormly, of Aughadarragh, gave him +another Input for the same farm; and yet, hell bellis the villain, he +gave it to neither of us, but to one of his own Blood-hounds, who gave +him twenty for it. But that wasn't all--when I axed him for my money, +he laughs in iny face, and says, 'Is 'it jokin' you are? Keep yourself +quiet,' says he, 'or may be I'll make it a black joke to you.' Hell +re-save him!” + + * Imput--a douceur--or, in other words, a bribe to the + agent, on entering upon a farm. + +“He engaged me, and my horse and car,” said another, “and Toal Hart with +his, in the same way; to draw stones from Kilrud-den; and he said that +whatever we earned he'd allow us in the rint. Of coorse we were glad to +bounce at it; and, indeed, he made us both believe that it was a favor +he did us. So far so good; but when the rint day came, hell purshue the +testher he'd allow either of us; but threatened and abused us, callin' +us names till the dogs wouldn't lick our blood. The Lord conshume him +for a netarnal villain!” + +“That's all very well, but yait till you hear how he sarved me out,” + said a poor, simple-looking creature. “It was at the gale day before +the last, that I went to him wid my six guineas of rint. 'Paddy Hanlon,' +says he, 'I'm glad to see you; an', Paddy, I've something in my eye for +you; but don't be spakin' of it. Is that the rent?--hand it to me--an', +Paddy, as this is Hurry Day with me--do like a good decent man, call +down on Saturday about twelve o'clock, and I'll give you your receipt, +and mention the other thing.' By coorse I went highly delighted; but the +receipt he gave me was a notice to pay the same gale over agin, tellin' +me besides, that of all the complatest rascals ever came acrass him +I was the greatest; that he'd banish me off the estate and what not! +Accordingly, I had to pay the same rint twiste. Now will any one tell me +how that man can prosper by robbin' and oppressin the poor in this way? +Hell scorch him!” + +The next that rose was a tall, thin-looking man, with much care and +sorrow in his face. “Many a happy day,” he said, “did I and mine spend +under this roof; and now we may say that we hardly have a roof to +cover us. Myself, and my wife, hould a cabin on' the estate of Major +Richardson. My sons and daughters, instead of living comfortably at home +with us, are now scattered abroad, earnin' their hard bread on other +people's floors. And why? Because the Vulture's profligate son couldn't +succeed in ruinin' one of my daughters; and because her brother 'Tom +tould him that if ever he catched him comin' about the place again, or +annoyin' his sisther, he'd split him with a spade. Afther that, +they were both very friendly--father and son--and when I brought my +half-year's rent--'never mind now,' said they, 'bring it home, Andy; +maybe you may want it for something else that 'ud be useful to you. +Buy a couple o' cows--or keep it till next rent day; we won't hurry +you--you're a dacent man, and we respect you.' Well, I did put the +money to other uses, when what should come down on me when the next half +year's rent was due, but an Execution. He got a man of his own to swear +that I was about to run away wid the rent, and go to America; and in +a few days we were scattered widout a house to cover us. May the Lord +reward him accordin' to his works!” + +There were other unprincipled cases where Phil's profligacy was +brought to bear upon the poverty and destitution of the uneducated +and unprotected female; but it is not our intention to do more than to +allude to them. + +We now return to young O'Regan himself, who, at the conclusion, once +more got a candle, and precisely in the same manner as he had done in +the beginning, held it up and asked in a full firm voice, “mother, +do you know your son?” And again received the same melancholy and +unconscious gaze. “Now,” said he, “you've all heard an account, and +a true account, of these two villains' conduct. What have they left +undone? They have cheated you, robbed you, and oppressed you in every +shape. They have scourged to death and transported your sons--and they +have ruined your daughters, and brought them to sin and shame--sorrow +and distraction. What have they left undone, I ax again? Haven't they +treated yez like the dirt under their feet? hunted yez like bloodhounds, +as they are--and as if ye were mad dogs? What is there that they haven't +made yez suffer? Shame, sin, poverty, hardship, bloodshed, ruin, death, +and madness; look there”--he added, vehemently pointing to his insane +mother--“there's one proof that you see; and you've heard and know the +rest. And now for their trial.” + +Those blood-stirring observations were followed by a deep silence, in +fact, like that of death. + +“Now,” said he, pulling out a paper, “I have marked down here twelve +names that I will read for you. They are to act as a jury; they are to +thry them both for their lives--and then to let us hear their sentence.” + +He then read over the twelve names, every man answering to his name as +he called them out. + +“Now,” he proceeded, “this is how you are to act; your silence will give +consent to any question that is asked of you. Are you willin' that these +twelve men should thry Valentine M'Clutchy and his son for their lives; +and that the sentence is to be put in execution on them?” To this there +was a profound and ominous silence. + +“Very well,” said he, “you agree to this. Now,” said he to the jurors, +“find your sentence.” + +The men met together, and whispered in the centre of the floor, for a +few minutes--when he, who acted as foreman, turned towards O'Regan and +said--“They're doomed.” + +“To what death?” + +“To be both shot.” + +“Are you all satisfied with this sentence?” + +Another silence as deep and ominous as before. + +“Very well,” said he, “you all agree. As for the sentence, it is a just +one; none of you need throuble yourselves any farther about that; you +may take my word for it, that it will be carried into execution. Are you +willing it should?” + +For the third time an unbroken silence. “That's enough,” said he; “and +now let us go quietly home.” + +“It is not enough,” said a voice at the door; “let none depart without +my permission, I command you;” and the words were no sooner uttered than +the venerable Father Roche entered the house. + +“Wretched and misguided men,” said he, to what a scene of blood and +crime have I just now been an ear witness? Are you men who live under +my ministry?--who have so often heard and attended to my sincere and +earnest admonitions? I cannot think ye are, and yet, I see no face here +that is unknown to me. Oh, think for a moment, reflect, if you can, upon +what you have been doing!--planning the brutal, ungodly murder of two +of your fellow creatures! And What makes the crime still more revolting, +these two fellow creatures father and son. What constituted you judges +over them? If they have oppressed you, and driven many of you to ruin +and distress, and even to madness, yet, do you not know that there is +a just God above to whom they must be accountable for the deeds done in +the flesh? Are you to put yourselves in the place of the Almighty?--to +snatch the sceptre of justice and judgment out of his hands, and take +that awful office into your own, which belongs only to him? Are ye +indeed mad, my friends? Do you not know that out of the multitude +assembled here this moment there is not one of you whose life would not +be justly forfeited to the law? not one. I paused at the half closed +door before I entered, and was thus enabled to hear your awful, your +guilty, your blasphemous proceedings. Justice belongs to God, and in +mocking justice you mock the God of Justice.” + +“But you don't know, Father Roche,” said O'Regan, “you couldn't imagine +all the villany he and his son have been guilty of, and all they've made +the people suffer.” + +“I do know it too well; and these are grievances that God in his own +good time will remove; but it is not for us to stain our souls with +guilt in order to redress them. Now, my children, do you believe that +I feel an interest in your welfare, and in your happiness hereafter? Do +you believe this?” + +“We do, sir; who feels for us as you do?” + +“Well, then, will you give me a proof of this?” + +“Name it, sir, name it.” + +“I know you will,” continued the old man; “I know you will. Then, in the +name of the merciful God, I implore, I entreat--and, if that will +not do, then, as his servant, and the humble minister of his word and +will--I command you to disavow the murderous purpose you have come to +this night. Heavenly Father,” said he, looking up with all the fervor +of sublime piety, “we entreat you to take from these mistaken men the +wicked intention of imbruing their guilty hands in blood; teach them a +clear sense of Christian duty; to love their very enemies; to forgive +all injuries that may be inflicted on them; and to lead such lives as +may never be disturbed by a sense of guilt or the tortures of remorse!” + The tears flowed fast down his aged cheeks as he spoke, and his deep +sobbings for some time prevented him from speaking. Those whom he +addressed were touched, awakened, melted. He proceeded:-- + +“Take pity on their condition, O Lord, and in thine own good time, if it +be thy will, let their unhappy lot in this life be improved! But, +above, all things, soften their hearts, inspire them with good and pious +purposes, and guard them from the temptations of revenge! They are my +flock--they are my children--and, as such, thou knowest how I lave and +feel for them!” + +They were more deeply moved, more clearly awakened, and more +penetratingly touched. Several sobs were heard towards the close of his +prayer, and a new spirit was diffused among them. + +“Now, my children,” said he, “will you obey the old man that loves you?” + +“We will,” was the universal response, “we will obey you.” + +“Then,” said he, “you promise in the presence of God, that you will not +injure Valentine M'Clutchy and his son?” + +“In the presence of God we promise,” was the unanimous reply. + +“Then, my children, may the blessing of Almighty God be with you, and +guard and protect you wherever you go. And now proceed home, and sleep +with consciences unburthened by guilt.” + +And thus were Valentine M'Clutchy and his son saved, on this occasion, +by the very man whom they termed “a rebellious Popish priest.” + +It was observed, however, by most of those present that Owen O'Regan +availed himself of the good priest's remonstrance to disappear from the +meeting--thus evading the solemn obligation to refrain from crime, into +which all the rest entered. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI.--Harman's Interview with Mary M'Loughlin + +--An Execution for Rent Forty Years ago--Gordon Harvey's Friendly +Remonstrance with his Brother Orangemen. + + +The development, by Poll Doolin, of the diabolical plot against Mary +M'Loughlin's character, so successfully carried into effect by Phil +and Poll herself, took a deadly weight off Harman's heart. Mary, the +following morning, little aware that full justice had been rendered her, +was sitting in the parlor with her mother, who had been complaining for +a day or two of indisposition, and would have admitted more fully the +alarming' symptoms she felt, were it not for the declining health of her +daughter. If there be one misery in life more calculated than another to +wither and consume the heart, to make society odious, man to look like a +blot in the creation, and the very providence of God doubtful, it is +to feel one's character publicly slandered and misrepresented by +the cowardly and malignant, by the skulking scoundrel and the moral +assassin--to feel yourself loaded with imputations that are false, +calumnious, and cruel. Mary M'Loughlin felt all this bitterly. + +In her heart; so bitterly, indeed, that all relish for life had departed +from her. She was now spiritless, hopeless, without an aim or object, or +anything to sustain her, or to give interest to existence. Philosophy, +which too often knows little about actual life, tells us that a +consciousness of being innocent of the social slanders that are heaped +upon an individual, is a principle that ought to support and console +him. But the truth is, that this very consciousness of innocence is +precisely the circumstance which sharpens and poisons the arrow that +pierces him, and gives rancor to the wound. + +On the morning in question, Mary sat by her mother who lay reclining +on a sofa, each kindly attempting to conceal from the other the illness +which she felt. Mary was pale, wasted, and drooping; the mother, on the +contrary, was flushed and feverish. + +“I wish, my dear mother,” said she, “that you would yield to me, and go +to bed: you are certainly worse than you wish us to believe.” + +“It won't signify, Mary; it's nothing but cold I got, and it will pass +away. I think nothing of myself, but it grieves my heart to see you look +so ill; why don't you strive to keep up your spirits, and to be what +you used to be? But God help you, my poor child,” said she, as the tears +started to her eyes, “sure it's hard for you to do so.” + +“Mother,” she replied, “it is hard for me; I am every way surrounded +with deep and hopeless affliction. I often wish that I could lay my +head quietly in the grave; but then, I should wish to do so with my name +unstained--and, on the other hand, what is there that can bind me to +life? I am not afraid of death, but I fear to die now; I know not, +mother, what to do, I am very much to be pitied. Oh,” she added, whilst +the tears fell in torrents from her cheeks, “after all, I feel that +nothing but death can still the thoughts that disturb me, and release me +from the anguish that weighs me down and consumes me day by day.” + +“My dear child,” replied her mother, “we must only trust to God, who, +in his own good time, will set everything right. As it is, there is no +respectable person in the neighborhood who believes the falsehood, with +the exception of some of the diabolical Wretch's friends.” + +Mary here shuddered, and exhibited the strongest possible symptoms of +aversion, even to momentary sickness. + +“If,” pursued the mother, “the unfortunate impression could be removed +from poor, mistaken Harman, all would be soon right.” + +The mention of Harman deeply affected the poor girl; she made no reply, +but for some minutes wept in great bitterness. + +“Mother,” said she, after a little time, “I fear you are concealing +the state of your own health; I am sure, from your flushed face +and oppressive manner of speaking, that you are worse than you think +yourself, or will admit.” + +“Indeed, to tell the truth, Mary, I fear I am; I feel certainly very +feverish--I am burning.” + +“Then, for heaven's sake, go to bed, my dear mother; and let the doctor +at once be sent for.” + +“If I don't get easier soon, I will,” replied her mother, “I do not much +like going to bed, it looks so like a fit of sickness.” + +At this moment a tap at the door announced a visitor, and almost +immediately Harman entered the parlor. It is scarcely necessary to say, +that Mary was quite unprepared for his appearance, as indeed was her +mother. The latter sat up on the sofa, but spoke not, for she scarcely +knew in what terms to address him. Mary, though much moved previous to +his entrance, now assumed the appearance of a coldness, which in her +heart she did not feel. That her lover, who ought to have known her +so well, should have permitted himself to be borne away by such an +ungenerous suspicion of her fidelity, was a reflection which caused her +many a bitter pang. On the other hand, when she looked back upon the +snare into which she had been drawn, it was impossible not to admit +that the force of appearances made a strong case against her. For this +reason, therefore, she scarcely blamed Harman, whilst, at the same +time, she certainly felt that there was something due to her previous +character, and the maidenly delicacy of her whole life. + +“You are surprised, Mary, to see me here,” said Harman; “and you, Mrs. +M'Loughlin, are no doubt equally so?” + +“I think it is very natural we should be, James,” replied Mrs. +M'Loughlin. “I must confess that your visit is an unexpected one +certainly, and my anxiety now is, to know the cause to which we may +attribute it. Sit down.” + +He did not sit, however, but exclaimed--“Good heavens, what is this? +Why, Mary, I should scarcely have known you. This change is dreadful.” + +Neither of the females spoke; but the daughter bestowed on him a single +look--long, fixed, and sorrowful--which did more to reprove and soften +him, than any language could have done. It went to his heart--it +filled him with grief, repentance, remorse. For many a day and night +afterwards, her image, and that look, were before him, exerting a +power over his soul, which kindled his love to a height it would never +otherwise have reached. He approached her. + +“What reparation do I not owe you, my beloved Mary, for my base and +ungenerous belief in that scoundrel's vile calumny? Such reparation, +however, as I can make, I will. You are not aware that Poll Doolin has +confessed and disclosed the whole infamous plot; and in a few days the +calumny will be extinct. As for me, you know not what a heavy weight +pressed my heart down to the uttermost depths of suffering. I have not +been without other calamities--yet this, I take heaven to witness, was +the only one I felt.” + +There was a tone of deep feeling and earnest sincerity in his words, +which could not for a moment be mistaken. His face, too, was pale, and +full of care, and his person much thinner than it had been. + +Mary saw all this at a glance--as did her mother. “Poor James,” said the +latter, “you have had your own troubles, and severe ones, too, since we +saw you last.” + +“They are gone,” he replied; “I care not, and think little about them, +now that Mary's character is vindicated. If I should never see her, +never speak to her more, the consciousness that she is the same angelic +being that I first found her to be, would sustain me under the severest +and most depressing calamities of life. And God knows,” he said, “I +am likely to experience them in their worst shape; but, still, I have +courage now to bear up against them.” + +On approaching Mary nearer, he perceived that her eyes were suffused +with tears--and the sight deeply affected him. “My dear Mary,” said he, +“is there not one word for me? Oh, believe me, if ever man felt deep +remorse I do.” + +She put her hand out to him, and almost at the same instant became +insensible. In a moment he placed her, by her mother's desire, on the +sofa, and rang the bell for some of the servants to attend. Indeed, +it would be difficult, if not impossible, to look upon a more touching +picture of sorrow and suffering than that pure-looking and beautiful +girl presented as she lay there insensible; her pale but exquisite +features impressed with a melancholy at once deep and tender, as was +evinced by the large tear-drops that lay upon her cheeks. + +“May God grant that her heart be not broken,” exclaimed her mother, +“and that she be not already beyond the reach of all that our affections +would hope and wish! Poor girl,” she added, “the only portion of the +calamity that touched her to her heart was the reflection that you had +ceased to love her!” + +Mrs. M'Loughlin whilst she spoke kept her eyes fixed upon her daughter's +pale but placid face; and whilst she did so, she perceived that a few +large tears fell upon it, and literally mingled with those of the poor +sufferer's which had been there before. She looked up and saw that +Harman was deeply moved. + +“Even if it should be so,” he exclaimed, “I shall be only justly +punished for having; dared to doubt her.” + +A servant having now entered, a little cold water was got, which, +on being sprinkled over her face and applied to her lips, aided in +recovering her. + +“Your appearance,” said she, “and the intelligence you brought were +so unexpected, and my weakness so great, that I felt myself overcome; +however, I am better--I am better, now;” but whilst she uttered these +words her voice grew tremulous, and they were scarcely out of her lips +when she burst out into an excessive fit of weeping. For several minutes +this continued, and she appeared to feel relieved; she then entered into +conversation, and was able to talk with more ease and firmness than she +had evinced for many a day before. It was just then that a knock came +to the hall door, and in a couple of minutes about a dozen of Val's +blood-hounds, selected to act as bailiffs and keepers--a task to which +they were accustomed--entered the house with an Execution to seize for +rent. This, at all times and under all circumstances, is a scene in +which a peculiar license is given to brutality and ruffianism; but in +the present case there were additional motives; with which the reader is +already acquainted, for insulting this family. Not that the mere-levying +of an Execution was a matter of novelty to either Mary or her mother, +for of late there had unfortunately been several in the house and on +their property before. These, however, were conducted with a degree of +civility that intimated respect for, if not sympathy with, the feelings +of a family so inoffensive, so beneficial to the neighborhood by the +employment they afforded, and, in short, every way so worthy of respect. + +“What is all this about?” asked Harman. + +“Why,” said one of the fellows, “we're seizin' for rent: that's what +it's about.” + +“Rent,” observed the other, surprised, “why, it is only a few minutes +since Mr. M'Loughlin told me that M'Clutchy assured him--” + +“Captain M'Clutchy, sir, if you plaise.” + +“Very well--Captain M'Clutchy, or Colonel M'Olutchy, if you wish, +assured him that--” + +“I have nothing to do with what he assured him,” replied the fellow; “my +duty is to take an inventory of the furniture; beg pardon, ladies, but +we must do our duty you know.” + +“Let them have their way,” said Mrs. M'Loughlin, “let them have their +way; I know what they are capable of. Mary, my dear, be firm--as I said +before--our only trust is in God, my child.” + +“I am firm, my dear mother; for, as James said, the grief of griefs +has been removed from me. I can now support myself under anything--but +you--indeed, James, she is battling against illness these three or +four days--and will not go to bed; it is for you I now feel, mother.” + +Mr. M'Loughlin and his family here entered; and truth to tell, boundless +was the indignation of the honest fellow, at this most oppressive and +perfidious proceeding on the part of the treacherous agent. + +“Ah,” said he, “I knew it--and I said it--but let the scoundrel do his +worst; I scorn him, and I defy him in the very height of his ill-gotten +authority. My children,” said he, “keep yourselves cool. Let not this +cowardly act of oppression and revenge disturb or provoke you. This +country, as it is at present governed--and this property as it is at +present managed--is no place for us to live in. Let the scoundrel then +do his worst. As for us, we will follow the example of other respectable +families, who, like ourselves, have been forced to seek a home in +a distant country. We will emigrate to America, as soon as I can +conveniently make arrangements for that purpose; for God knows I am sick +of my native land, and the petty oppressors which in so many ways harass +and goad the people almost to madness.” + +He had no sooner uttered these words, than the fellow whose name was +Hudson, whispered to one of his companions, who immediately disappeared +with something like a grin of exultation on his countenance. Mrs. +M'Loughlin's illness was now such as she could no longer attempt to +conceal. The painful shock occasioned by this last vindictive proceeding +on the part of M'Clutchy, came at a most unhappy moment. Overcome by +that and her illness, she was obliged to go to bed, aided by her husband +and her daughter; but before she went, it was considered necessary to +get one of the ruffians, as an act of favor, to take an inventory of +the furniture in her chamber, in order that her sick room might not be +intruded upon afterwards. + +Mary having put her sick mother to bed, returned to the parlor, from +whence she was proceeding to the kitchen, to make whey with her own +hands for the invalid, when in passing along the hall, Harman and her +brother John met her. She was in a hurry, and was about to pass without +speaking a word, when she and they were startled by the following +dialogue-- + +“So, Bob, did you see the pale beauty in the parlor?” + +“I did, she's a devilish pretty girl.” + +“She is so--well, but do you know that she is one of Mr. Phil's ladies. +Sure he was caught in her bed-room some time ago.” + +“Certainly, every one knows that; and it appears she is breaking her +heart because he won't make an honest woman of her.” + +John caught his sister, whose agitation, was dreadful, and led her away; +making at the same time, a signal to Harman to remain quiet until his +return--a difficult task, and. Harman felt it so. In the meantime, the. +following appendix was added to the dialogue already detailed-- + +“Why do you hould such talk under this, roof, Leeper?” asked a third +voice. + +The only reply given to this very natural query was a subdued cackle, +evidently proceeding from the two first speakers. + +“Do you both see that strong horse-pistol,” said the third voice--for in +those days; an Execution was almost always levied by armed men--“by the +Bible of truth, if I hear another word of such conversation from any +man here while we're under this roof, I'll sink the butt of it into his +skull! It's bad enough that we're here on an unpleasant duty--” + +“Unpleasant! speak for yourself.” + +“Silence, you ruffian--on an unpleasant-duty; but that's no reason that +we should grieve the hearts and insult the feelings of a respectable +family like this. The truth, or rather the blasted falsehood that was +put out on the young lady is now known almost everywhere, for Poll +Doolin has let out the truth. + +“But didn't Misther Phil desire us to say it, so as that they might hear +us.” + +“Mr. Phil's a cowardly scoundrel, and nothing else; but, mark me, Phil +or no Phil, keep your teeth shut on that subject.” + +“Just as much or as little of that as we like, if you please, Mr. ----.” + +“Very well, you know my mind--so take the consequences, that's all.” + +“Here goes then,” said the ruffian, speaking in a deliberately loud +voice, “it's well known that Miss M'Loughlin is Misther Phil's----” + +A heavy blow, followed by a crash on the floor--a brief conflict as if +with another person, another blow, and another crash followed. Harman, +in a state of feeling which our readers may imagine, but which we cannot +describe, pushed in the door, which, in fact, was partially open. + +“What, what is this?” he asked, pretending ignorance, “is it fighting +among yourselves you are? Fie, fie! Gordon Harvey, what is the matter?” + +“Only a little quarrel of our own, Mr. Harman,” replied the excellent +fellow. “The truth is, sir, that these men--ay, gather yourselves up, +do; you ought to have known Gordon Harvey's blow, for you have often +enough heard of it before now; there is no great mistake about that, +you scoundrels--the truth is, Mr. Harman, that these fellows were primed +with whiskey at M'Clutchy's and they gave me provoking language that +I couldn't bear; it's well for them that I didn't take the butt end +of that,” said he, holding up the horse-pistol in his left hand, “but +you'll find ten for one that would rather have a taste of it than of +this;” shutting his right--which was a perfect sledgehammer, and, when +shut, certainly the more formidable weapon of the two. + +The two ruffians had now gathered themselves up, and appeared to be +considerably sobered by Harvey's arguments. They immediately retired +to a corner of the room, where they stood with a sullen but vindictive +look--cowardly and ferocious, ready to revenge on M'Loughlin's family +the punishment which they had received, but durst not resent, at the +hands of Harvey--unquestionably one of the most powerful and generous +Orangemen that was ever known in Castle Cumber. Let us not for a moment +be mistaken. The Orangemen of Ireland contained, and still contain among +them, men of great generosity, courage, and humanity. This is undeniable +and unquestionable; but then, it is well known that these men never took +any part in the outrages perpetrated by the lower and grosser grades, +unless to prevent outrage. In nothing, indeed, was the lamentable state +of the Irish Church Establishment more painfully obvious than in the +moral ignorance and brutal bigotry, which want of Christian instruction +and enlightened education had entailed upon men, who otherwise have been +a high-minded, brave, and liberal class, had they not been corrupted by +the example of the very pastors--ungodly, loose, convivial, political, +anything but Christian--from whom they were to expect their examples and +their precepts. But to return. Harman having given a significant glance +to Harvey, left the room, and the latter immediately followed him. + +“Harvey,” said he, “I have overheard the whole conversation; give me +your hand, for it is that of an honest man. I thank you, I thank you--do +try and prevent these ruffians from insulting the family.” + +“I don't think the same thing will happen a second time, Mr. Harman,” + replied the gigantic Orangeman; “but, the truth is, the men are half +drunk, and were made so before they came here.” + +“Well, but I thank you, Harvey; deeply and from my soul, I thank you.” + +“You needn't, Mr. Harman; I hate a dirty and ungenerous thing. Phil's a +brother Orangeman, and my tongue is tied--no doubt I'll be expelled for +knocking these two scoundrels down, but I don't care; it was too bad and +too cruel, and, let the upshot be what it may, Gordon Harvey is not the +man to back a scoundrelly act, no matter who does it, or who orders it.” + +They shook hands cordially, and we now must leave the family for a time, +to follow the course of other events that bear upon our narrative. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII.--Bob Beatty's Last Illness + +--A Holy Steeple Chase--A Dead Heat--Blood against Varmint--Rival +Claims--A Mutual Disappointment--The Last Plea for Salvation--_Non +Compos Mentis_ + + +Our readers may remember that we have alluded to an Orangeman, named Bob +Beatty, who had become a convert to the Church of Rome. This Beatty, on +the part of the priest, was a very fair set-off against Darby O'Drive, +on the part of Mr. Lucre. As they were now on the eve of the great +discussion, each felt considerable gratification in having his convert +ready to produce at the discussion, as a living proof of his zeal for +religious truth. The principal vexation which the priest had felt, +lay in the almost insuperable difficulty of keeping Bob from liquor, +inasmuch as whenever he happened to take a glass too much, he always +forgot his conversion, and generally drank the Glorious Memory, and all +other charter toasts, from habit. It so happened, however, that a few +days previous to the great Tournay, Bob became so ill in health, that +there was little hope of his surviving any length of time. During this +illness, he had several interviews with. Father Roche, who informed +him of the near approach of death, and prepared him, as well as could +readily be done, to meet it; for truth to tell, he was at all times an +impracticable subject on which to produce religious impressions. Be this +as it may, a day or two previous to the discussion, his wife, feeling +that he was near his dissolution, and determined, if possible, that +he should not die a Roman Catholic, went in hurry for Mr. Clement, who +happened to be in attendance on a funeral and was consequently from +home. In the meantime, his Roman Catholic neighbor, hearing that she +meant to fetch the minister, naturally anxious that the man should not +die a Protestant, lost no time in acquainting Father M'Cabe with his +situation. Mrs. Beatty, however, finding that Mr. Clement was not to be +procured, left her message with his family, and proceeded in all haste +to Mr. Lucre's in order to secure his attendance. + +“My good woman,” said he, “your husband, I trust, is not in such danger. +Mr. Clement cannot certainly be long absent, and he will attend; I am +not quite well, or I should willingly go myself.” + +“Very well,” said the woman, “between you, I suppose, you will let the +priest, M'Cabe have him; and then it will be said he died a Papish.” + +“What's that?” inquired Mr. Lucre, with an interest which he could not +conceal; “what has M'Cabe to do with him?” + +“Why,”, returned the woman, “he has made him a Papish, but I want him to +die a True Blue, and not shame the family.” + +“I shall attend,” said Lucre; “I shall lose no time in attending. What's +your husband's name?” + +“Bob Beatty, sir.” + +“Oh, yes, he is subject to epilepsy.” + +“The same, sir.” + +She then gave him directions to find the house, and left him making very +earnest and rapid preparations to do what he had not done for many a +long year--attend a death-bed; and truly his absence was no loss. + +In the meantime, Father M'Cabe having heard an account of Bob's state, +and that the minister had been sent for, was at once upon the alert, and +lost not a moment in repairing to his house. So very eager, indeed, +were these gentlemen, and so equal their speed, that they met at the +cross-roads, one of which turned to Bob's house. In the meantime, we +may as well inform our readers here, that Bob himself had, in his wife's +presence, privately sent for Father Roche. + +Each instantly suspected the object of the other, and determined in his +own mind, if possible, to frustrate it. + +“So, sir,” said the priest, “you are on your way to Bob Beatty's, who +is, as you know, one of my flock. But how do you expect to get through +the business, Mr. Lucre, seeing that you are so long out of practice?” + +“Bob Beatty was never, properly speaking, one of your flock, Mr. M'Cabe. +I must beg leave to ride forward, sir, and leave you to your Christian +meditations. One interview with you is enough for any man.” + +“Faith, but I love you too well to part with you so easily,” said the +priest, spurring on his horse, “cheek by jowl--and a beautiful one you +have--will I ride with you, my worthy epicure; and, what is more, I'll +anoint Bob Beatty before your eyes.” + +“And, perhaps, perform another miracle,” replied Mr. Lucre, bitterly. + +“Ay will, if it be necessary,” said the priest; “but I do most solemnly +assure you that by far the most brilliant miracle of modern days is to +find the Rev. Phineas Lucre at a sick-bed. Depend upon it, however, if +Beatty had not turned Catholic, he might die like a dog for the same Mr. +Lucre.” + +“I will not abstract the last shilling from his pocket for the unction +of superstition, at all events.” + +“Not you, faith; you'll charge him nothing I grant, and right glad am I +to find that you know the value of your services. You forget, however, +that my flock pay you well for doing this nothing--that is, for +discharging your duty--notwithstanding.” + +Both now pushed on at a rapid rate, growling at each other as they went +along. On getting into the fields they increased their speed; and as the +peasantry of both religions were apprised of the circumstances connected +with Bob's complaint and conversion, each party cheered on their own +champion. + +“More power to you Father M'Cabe; give him the Latin and the Bravery!” + (*Breviary) + +“Success, Mr. Lucre! Push on, sir, and don't let the Popish rebel send +him out of the world with a bandage on his eyes. Lay in the Bible, Mr. +Lucre! Protestant and True Blue forever--hurra!” + +“The true Church forever, Father M'Cabe, the jewel that you war! Give +the horse the spurs, avourneen. Sowl, Paddy, but the _bodagh_ parson has +the advantage of him in the _cappul_. Push on, your reverence; you +have the divil and the parson against you, for the one's drivin' on the +other.” + +“Cross the corner of the Barny Mother's meadow, Mr. Lucre, and wheel +in at the garden ditch; your horse can do it, although you ride the +heaviest weight. Lay on him, sir, and think of Protestant Ascendancy. +King William against Popery and wooden shoes; hurra!” + +“Father, achora, keep your shoulder to the wind, and touch up _Parra +Gastha_ (* Literally, Paddy Speedy) wid the spurs. A groan for the +Protestant parson, father darlin'!” + +“Three groans for the Popish Mass Book. Bravo, Mr. Lucre! That ditch was +well cleared!” + +“Devil a purtier, father jewel! Parra Gastha's a darlin', and brought +you over like a bird--hurra!” + +“Have you no whip, Mr. Lucre? Whip and spur, sir, or the Popish garran +will be in before you. By the great Boyne, I'm afraid the charger's +blown.” + +“God enable you, father avilish! Blown! Why what would you expect, an' +it the first visit ever the same horse made to a sick-bed' in his life; +he now finds it isn't on the king's highway he is--and I'll go bail it's +himself that's cursin' the same duty in his heart. Bravo, Father Pat! +Parra Gastha's the boy that knows his duty--more power, Parra Gastha! +Divil pursue the hair's turned on him; but, be me sowl, it wouldn't +be so, if he led the life the Protestant blood did.--feedin' high, and +doin' nothin'.” + +“Mr. Lucre, pull out; I see you're hard up, sir, and so is your charger. +Push him, sir, even if he should drop. Death and Protestantism before +Popery and dishonor! Hurra, well done!” + +“Ah, be me sowl, it's near the last gasp wid him and his masther, and +no wondher; they're both divilish far out of their element. Faith, if +they had Father M'Cabe and Parra Gastha's practice, they wouldn't be the +show they are this minute. Well done both! fresh and fair, snug and dry, +you do it. Hurra!” + +When the two worthy gentlemen had reached Bob's house, they dismounted, +each in a perspiration, and rushed to the bed of the dying man. Mr. +Lucre sat, of course, at one side, and the priest at the other; Mr. +Lucre seized the right hand, and the priest the left: whilst Bob looked +at them both alternately, and gave a cordial squeeze to each. + +“You thought, sir,” said Mr. Lucre to the priest haughtily, “that he +would have died an idolater.” + +Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand again. + +“And you thought,” replied Father M'Cabe, “that he would die a +Protestant or a heretic, which is the same thing.” + +Bob squeezed Father M'Cabe's hand once more. + +“Gentlemen,” said Bob, “be pleased to sit down--you are both Christian +ministers, I hope.” + +“No,” said Father M'Cabe, “there is but one of us a Christian; Mr. Lucre +here is not worthy of the name, Bob.” + +Bob squeezed the priest's hand a third time. + +“Beatty,” said Mr. Lucre, “this is a solemn occasion, and I'm bound to +say, that the priest here is merely a representative of Antichrist. This +is not a time to disguise the truth.” + +Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand a third time also. + +“Beatty,” continued Mr. Lucre, “if you permit yourself to die a Papist, +you seal your own everlasting punishment.” + +“True,” said Bob. + +“Bob,” said the priest, “if after the explanations of the true church +which I have given you, you allow yourself to relapse into heresy, you +will suffer for it during all eternity.” + +“True,” said Bob. + +“There is no hope for those, who, like the Papists and idolators, hew +for themselves vessels that will hold no water,” said Lucre. + +[Illustration: PAGE 322-- “Ah, very right,” said Bob.] + +“Ah, very right,” said Bob. + +“There is but one Faith, one Church, and one Baptism, and that is ours,” + said the priest. + +“Ah, you can do it,” said Bob, with a squeeze. + +“Bob,” said the wife, “what do you mean? I don't understand you--die a +True Blue, and don't shame your friends.” + +“Gentlemen,” said Bob, “I feel disposed to sleep a little. It is likely +that a few minutes' rest may strengthen my weak body, and clear my mind +for the consolations of religion, which you are both so beautifully +prepared to give me. I feel rather drowsy, so I'll close my eyes for a +few minutes, and doze a little.” + +Bob closed his eyes for about four mortal hours and a half, during +which time our two worthy gentlemen sat at his bed-side with the most +exemplary patience. At length he opened his eyes, and inquired for his +daughter Fanny, who had been sent for Father Roche; to her he whispered +a few words, after which she went out, but almost immediately returned. +He looked at her inquiringly, and she answered: + +“Yes, just as I expected--in a few minutes.” + +“Gentlemen,” said Bob, “I am much aisier now; but I am at a loss whether +to to prepared for heaven by you, Mr. Lucre, or by Father M'Cabe.” + +“Beatty,” said Lucre, “you have have access to the Bible, and +possessing, as you do, and as you must, the Scriptural knowledge, gained +from that sacred book, to die in the church which worships crucifixes +and images would leave you without hope or excuse.” + +“Ah!” said Bob, “you are sound in point of doctrine. No man is more +orthodox than you.” + +“Bob,” said the priest, “you know what the Council of Trent says:-- +'There is but one Church, one Faith, and one Baptism'--if you die out +of that church, which is ours, woe betide you. No, Bob, there is no hope +for you if you die an apostate, Bob.” + +“Ah,” said Bob, “you can send it home, Father M'Cabe.” + +“Bob,” said the wife, “die a True Blue, and don't shame the family.” + +“There is but a blue look up for you if you do,” said Father M'Cabe. + +“Blue is the emblem of hope, and for that reason the Orange system has +adopted it as illustrative of our faith,” said Mr. Lucre. + +He had scarcely uttered the words, when Father Roche entered the sick +apartment. High and haughty was the bow he received from Mr. Lucre; +whilst Father M'Cabe seemed somewhat surprised at the presence of +the reverend gentlemen. The latter looked mildly about him, wiped the +moisture from his pale forehead and said-- + +“Mrs. Beatty, will you indulge me with a chair? On my return home I lost +not a moment in coming here; but the walk I have had is a pretty long +one, the greater part of it being up-hill.” + +“Well,” replied Mrs. Beatty, “I'm not the woman to think one thing and +speak another. To be sure, I'd rather he would die a True Blue than a +Papish; but since he will die one, I'd rather have you at his side than +e'er a priest in the kingdom. If there is a Christian among them, you +are one--you are--so, Bob dear, since you're bent on it, I won't disturb +you.” + +“Bring your chair near me,” said Bob; “where is your hand, my dear sir? +Give Me your hand.” Poor Bob caught Father Roche's hand in his, and +pressed it honestly and warmly. + +“Bob,” said Mr. Lucre, “I don't understand this; in what creed are you +disposed to die?” + +“You see, sir,” said M'Cabe, “that he _won't_ die in yours at any rate.” + +“You will not die in my creed!” repeated the parson, astonished. + +“No,” said Bob; “I will not.” + +“You will then die in mine, of course?” said Mr. M'Cabe. + +“No,” replied Bob; “I will not.” + +“How is that?” said the priest. + +“Explain yourself,” said Mr. Lucre. + +“_I'll die a Christian_,” replied Bob. “You're both anything but what +you ought to be; and if I wasn't on my death-bed you'd hear more of it. +Here is a Christian clergyman, and under his ministry I will die.” + +“Ah,” said Mr. Lucre, “I perceive, Mrs. Beatty, that the poor man's +intellect is gone; whilst his reason was sound he remained a staunch +Protestant, and as such, we shall claim him. He must be interred +according to the rights of our church, for he dies clearly _non compos +mentis_.” + +Father Roche now addressed himself to Beatty, and prepared him for his +great change, as became a pious and faithful minister of the gospel. +Beatty, however, was never capable of serious impressions. Still, his +feelings were as solemn as could be expected, from a man whose natural +temperament had always inclined him to facetiousness and humor. He died +the next day, after a severe fit, from which he recovered only to linger +about half an hour in a state of stupor and insensibility. + +This conflict between the priest and the parson was a kind of prelude in +its way, to the great Palaver, or discussion, which was immediately to +take place between the redoubtable champions of the rival churches. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII.--Darby is a Spiritual Ganymede + +--Preparations for the Great Discussion, which we do not +give--Extraordinary Hope of a Modern Miracle--Solomon like an Angel +looking into the Gospel. + + +On the morning of the appointed day, the walls of Castle Cumber were +duly covered with placards containing the points to be discussed, and +the names of the speakers on both sides of the question. The roads +leading to the scene of controversy were thronged with people of +all classes. Private jaunting cars, gigs, and carriages of every +description, rolled rapidly along. Clergymen of every creed, various as +they are, moved through the streets with eager and hurried pace, each +reverend countenance marked by an anxious expression arising from the +interest its possessor felt in the result of the controversy. People, in +fact, of all ranks and religions, were assembled to hear the leading men +on each side defend their own creeds, and assail those of their enemies. +The professional men relinquished, for the day, their other engagements +and avocations, in order to be present; and invalids, who had not been +long out of their sick rooms, tottered down, wrapped in cloaks, to hear +this great display of learning and eloquence. Early on the preceding +morning, the Catholic Clergy, though without the sanction of their +Bishops, formally signified to the committee of the society, their +intention of meeting them man to man on the platform. Before the door +was open to the crowd at large, the opposing clergymen and the more +select friends on both sides were admitted by a private entrance. +The gallery was set aside for ladies, who, in Ireland, and we believe +everywhere else, form an immense majority at religious meetings. + +When the house was thronged to suffocation, none but a man intimately +acquainted with the two-fold character of the audience, could observe +much more within it, than the sea of heads with which it was studded. +The Protestant party looked on with a less devoted, but freer aspect; +not, however, without an evident feeling and pride in the number and +character of their champions. A strong dash of enthusiasm might be seen +in many fair eyes among the females, who whispered to each other an +occasional observation concerning their respective favorites; and +then turned upon the divine champions, smiles that seemed to have been +kindled by the sweet influences of love and piety. Among the Roman +Catholic party there was an expression of wonder created by the novelty +of the scene; of keen observation, evinced by the incessant rolling +of their clear Milesian eyes from one party to another, together with +something like pity and contempt for the infatuated Biblemen, as they +called them, who could so madly rush upon the sharp theological spears +of their own beloved clergymen. Dismay, or doubt, or apprehension of any +kind, were altogether out of the question, as was evident from the proud +look, the elated eye, and the confident demeanor by which each of them +might be distinguished. Here and there, you might notice an able-bodied, +coarse-faced Methodist Preacher, with lips like sausages, sombre visage, +closely cropped hair, trimmed across his face, sighing from time to +time, and, with eyes half closed, offering up a silent prayer for +victory over the Scarlet Lady; or, perhaps, thinking of the fat ham +and chicken, that were to constitute that day's dinner, as was not +improbable, if the natural meaning were to be attached to the savory +spirit with which, from time to time, he licked, or rather sucked at, +his own lips. He and his class, many of whom, however, are excellent +men, sat at a distance from the platform, not presuming to mingle with +persons who consider them as having no title to the clerical character, +except such as they conveniently bestow on each other. Not so the +Presbyterian Clergymen who were present. They mingled with their +brethren of the Establishment, from whom they differed only in a less +easy and gentlemanly deportment, but yielded to them neither in kindness +of intellect, firmness, nor the cool adroitness of men well read, +and quite as well experienced in public speaking. At the skirt of +the platform sat the unassuming Mr. Clement, a calm spectator of the +proceedings; and in the capacity of messenger appeared. Darby O'Drive, +dressed in black--he had not yet entered upon the duties of his new +office--busily engaged in bringing in, and distributing oranges and +other cooling fruit, to those of the Protestant party who were to +address the meeting. High aloft, in the most conspicuous situation +on the platform, sat Solomon M'Slime, breathing of piety, purity, and +humility. He held a gilt Bible in his hands, in order to follow the +parties in their scriptural quotations, and to satisfy himself of their +accuracy, as well as that he might fall upon some blessed text, capable +of enlarging his privileges. There was in his countenance a serene +happiness, a sweet benignity, a radiance of divine triumph, partly +arising from the consciousness of his own inward state, and partly +from the glorious development of scriptural truth which would soon be +witnessed, to the utter discomfiture of Popery and the Man of Sin. +For some time before the business of the day commenced, each party +was busily engaged in private conferences; in marking passages for +reference, arranging notes, and fixing piles of books in the most +convenient position. Mr. Lucre was in full pomp, exceedingly busy, +directing, assisting, and tending their wants, with a proud courtesy, +and a suavity of manner, which no man could better assume. The +deportment and manners of the Roman Catholic clergy were strongly +marked, and exceedingly well defined; especially in determination of +character and vigor of expression. In a word, they were firm, resolute, +and energetic. Among the latter, the busiest by far, and the most +zealous was Father M'Cabe, who assumed among his own party much the same +position that Mr. Lucre did among his. He was, no doubt of it, in great +glee, and searched out for Mr. Lucre's eye, in order to have a friendly +glance with him, before the play commenced. Lucre perceived this, and +avoided him as much as he could; but, in fact, the thing was impossible. +At length he caught the haughty parson's eye, and exclaimed with a +comical grin, which was irresistible-- + +“I am glad to see you here, Mr. Lucre; who knows, but we may make a +Christian of you yet. You know that we, as Catholics, maintain that the +power of working miracles is in the Church still; and that, certainly, +would prove it.” + +Mr. Lucre bowed, and smiled contemptuously, but made no reply. + +When the chairman was appointed, and the regulations by which the +meeting was to be guided, read and assented to by both parties, the +melee commenced; and, indeed, we are bound to say, that a melancholy +comment upon Christian charity it was. It is not our intention to give +anything like a report of this celebrated discussion, inasmuch, as two +reports, each the genuine and authentic one, and each most egregiously +contradictory of the other, have been for several years before the +public, who, consequently, have a far better right to understand the +business than we do, who are at this distant date merely the remote +historian. + +We may be permitted to say, however, that the consequences of this great +discussion were such as are necessarily produced by every exhibition of +the kind. For a considerable time afterwards nothing was heard between +Catholic and Protestant but fierce polemics, and all the trite and wordy +arguments that are to be found in the mouths of ignorant and prejudiced +men on both sides. The social harmony of the district was disturbed, and +that friendly intercourse which should subsist between neighbors, was +either suspended or destroyed. A fierce spirit of exacerbation and +jealousy was created, and men looked Upon each other with bitterness and +resentment; whilst to complete the absurdity, neither party could +boast of a single convert to attest the glory of the triumph which each +claimed. + +At this period, the character of the Castle Cumber yeomanry corps, or as +they were called, M'Clutchy's Blood-hounds, was unquestionably in such +infamous odor with all but bigots, in consequence of their violence +when upon duty, that a few of the more mild and benevolent gentry of the +neighborhood, came to the determination of forming a corps composed of +men not remarkable for the extraordinary and exclusive loyalty which put +itself forth in so many offensive and oppressive forms. Deaker's Dashers +were by no means of such rancid bigotry as M'Clutchy's men, although +they were, heaven knows, much worse than they ought to have been. + +Their most unjustifiable excesses, however, Were committed in his +absence, and without his orders; for it is due to Deaker himself to +say, that, although a staunch political Protestant and infidel, he never +countenanced violence against those who differed from him in creed. +Deaker's creed was a very peculiar one, and partook of the comic +profligacy which marked his whole life. He believed, for instance, +that Protestantism was necessary, but could not for the life of him +understand the nature or tendency of religion. As he himself said, the +three great Protestant principles and objects of his life were--to drink +the “Glorious Memory “--“To hell with the Pope”--merely because he was +not a Protestant--and to “die whistling the Boyne Water.” If he could +accomplish these successfully, he thought he had discharged his duty to +his king and country, and done all that could be fairly expected from an +honest and loyal Protestant. And, indeed, little, if anything else, in +a religious way, was expected from him, or from any other person, at the +period of which we write. + +Be this, however, as it may, the formation of a new corps of cavalry was +determined on, and by unanimous consent, the conduct of the matter in +all its departments was entrusted to Mr. Hartley, the gentleman already +mentioned, as selected to contest the county against Lord Cumber or his +brother, for it had not yet been decided on between them, as to which of +them should stand. Lord Cumber expected an Earldom for his virtues, with +a seat in the house of Lords, and should these honors reach him in +time, then his brother, the Hon. Richard Topertoe, should be put in +nomination. In point of fact, matters between the two parties were fast +drawing to a crisis, and it was also in some degree to balance interests +with Lord Cumber, and neutralize the influence of the Irish government, +that Hartley and his friends deemed it advisible to have a cavalry corps +at their disposal. The day of the dissolution of parliament was now +known, and it naturally became necessary that each candidate should be +found at his post. + +It was at this very period that a circumstance occurred, which, although +of apparently small importance, was nevertheless productive of an +incident that will form the catastrophe of our chronicles. Our readers +cannot forget the warm language which passed between the man Sharpe and +our exquisite friend, Philip M'Clutchy, on their way from Deaker's. Now, +it is due to this man to say, that, on looking back at the outrage +which occurred in O'Regan's cottage, and reflecting upon the melancholy +consequences it produced--not forgetting the heart-rending insanity of +O'Regan's wife--he felt deep regret, amounting almost to remorse, +for the part which he bore in it. Independently of this, however, the +conduct of Phil and his father, in their military capacity over the +corps, was made up of such tyrranical insolence at one time, and of such +contemptible meanness at another, that the men began to feel disgusted +with such sickening alternations of swaggering authority, and base, +calculating policy. Many of them, consequently, were heartily tired of +their officers, and had already begun to think of withdrawing altogether +from the corps, unless there were some change for the better made in +it. Now, at this precise state of feeling, with regard to both +circumstances, had Sharpe arrived, when he met his lieutenant on the +day when that gallant gentleman signalized himself by horsewhipping his +grandmother. Phil's threat had determined him to return to the Dashers, +but, on hearing a day or two afterwards, that Hartley was about to raise +a new corps, composed of well-conducted and orderly men, he resolved +not only to offer himself to that gentleman, but to induce all who +were moderate among the “hounds,” and, indeed, they were not many, +to accompany him. This alarmed M'Clutchy very much, because on Lord +Cumber's arrival to canvass the county, it would look as if his +Lordship's interests had been neglected; and he feared, too, that the +withdrawing of the men from his corps might lead to investigations +which were strongly to be deprecated. After a day or two's inquiries, +therefore, and finding that from eighteen to twenty of his youngest +and most respectable yeomanry had not only returned him their arms and +appointments, but actually held themselves ready to be enrolled in the +Annagh Corps--for so Hartley's was termed--he sat down and wrote the +following letter to Lord Cumber:-- + +“Constitution Cottage, June-- + +“My Lord: + +“Circumstances affecting your Lordship's personal and political +interests have recently occurred here, and are even now occurring, which +render it my painful duty to communicate with you on the subject without +loss of time. I am sorry to say that the conduct of Mr. Hartley, +your well known opponent for the county, is not that which becomes a +high-minded man. The Cavalry Corps of which your Lordship is Colonel, +and which, by the way, has rendered good service in the firm discharge +of their duty, has been very much damaged by the extraordinary conduct +which that gentleman is pursuing. The fact is, that he has taken it +into his head, aided and assisted of course by his friends and political +supporters, to raise a corps of Yeomanry Cavalry as it were, in +opposition to ours; and this, no doubt, he has a right to do; although +I am quite certain, at the same time, that it is done with a view to +secure either the support, or at least the neutrality of government; +which neutrality would, as your Lordship knows, be a heavy blow to +us. However, as I said, he has as good a right as we have to raise his +corps; but I do not think he is justified in writing private circulars, +or in tampering with the men of our corps, many of whom he has already +seduced from their duty, and lured over with honeyed words and large +promises to the body he is raising. The fact is, my Lord, if our +men were not so devotedly attached to my son and myself as they are, +Hartley's unjustifiable interference would leave the corps a mere +skeleton. As it is, he has taken eighteen of our very best men from us; +by best, I allude only to youth and physical energy, for I need scarcely +say, that all the staunch and loyal fellows remain with us. I am +sorry to add that Mr. Hickman, as I predicted he would, is vigorously +supporting your opponent; and there is a scoundrel here who is often +closeted with him--a rascally painter named Easel, _quem ego_--you see +I have a little of my Latin still, my Lord. The fellow--this wild goose, +Easel, I mean--says he has come to the neighborhood to take sketches; +but if I don't mistake much I shall ere long put him in a condition to +sketch the Bay of Sidney. I have already reported him to government, +and, indeed, I have every reason to suppose he is a Popish Agent, sent +here to sow the seeds of treason and disaffection among the people. +Nothing else can account for the dreadful progress which Whiteboyism has +made upon your Lordship's property, where it is much more outrageous and +turbulent than in any other district that I am acquainted with. I have +also to acquaint you, my Lord, that even if I were disposed to keep +M'Loughlin and Harman on the property--that is, granting that I were +sufficiently treacherous to your interest to do so, it is now out of my +power. Their own dishonesty has at length fallen upon their heads. They +are bankrupts, and not now in a condition to pay a renewal fine for +their leases; but I am happy to inform your Lordship, that my son +Phil, and Mr. M'Slime, have each offered five hundred pounds for their +respective holdings--a tender which I might in vain expect from any +other quarter and which I cannot conscientiously refuse. + +“Harman was acquitted for the murder of Harpur--in consequence, it is +thought, of a treacherous scoundrel, named Sharpe, who was once one of +our corps, having taken a bribe to give evidence in his favor. This same +Sharpe is to be a sergeant in Hartley's corps; and, when I say that, +Hartley and Harman are and have been on very intimate terms, I think +it shows how the wind blows between them, at all events. I have been +receiving rent yesterday and to-day, and cannot but regret the desperate +state to which things have been brought. There is no gettin' in +money, and the only consolation I feel is, that I have honestly and +conscientiously discharged my duty. I have cleared a great number of +our enemies from the property, but, unfortunately, such is the state +of things here, that there is the greater number of the holdings still +unoccupied, other tenants that we could depend on being afraid to enter +upon them, in consequence of the spirit of intimidation that is abroad. +This M'Loughlin is certainly a most consummate swindler: he was unable +to pay his rent, and I sent in an execution yesterday; but, as every one +knows, fourteen days must elapse before the public auction of property +takes place. Judge of my surprise then, when, short as was the time, an +affidavit has been made before me, that he and his family have come to +the determination of emigrating to America, and, I suppose, by the aid +of a midnight mob to take away all that is valuable of their property +by force. I consequently must remove it at once, as the law, under such +circumstances, empowers me to do--for I cannot sit by and suffer your +lordship' to be robbed, in addition to being both misrepresented and +maligned by these men and their families. Granting the full force, +however, of this unpleasant intelligence, still I do not think it +necessary that you should at present leave the circles of polished and +fashionable life in which you move, to bury yourself here among a set +of malignant barbarians, who would scruple very little to slit your +lordship's weasand, or to shoot you from behind a hedge. + +“I am in correspondence with Counsellor Browbeater, at the Castle, who, +in addition to the glorious privilege of being, as he deserves to be, +free of the Back Trot there, is besides a creature after my own heart. +We are both engaged in attempting to bring the Spy System to that state +of perfection which we trust may place it on a level with that fine old +institution, so unjustly abused, called the Inquisition. Browbeater is, +indeed, an exceedingly useful man to the present government, and does +all that in him lies, I mean out of his own beat, to prevent them from +running into financial extravagance. For instance, it was only the other +day that he prevented a literary man with a large family from getting a +pension from the Premier, who, between you and me, my lord, is no great +shake; and this was done in a manner that entitles him to a very +lasting remembrance indeed. The principle upon which he executed this +interesting and beautiful piece of treachery--for treachery of this +kind, my lord, is in the catalogue of public virtues--was well worthy of +imitation by every man emulous of office; it was that of professing +to be a friend to the literary man, whilst he acted the spy upon his +private life, and misrepresented him to the Minister. Oh, you do not +know, my lord, how the heart of such a man as I am, warms to the author +of this manly act of private treachery and public virtue, and I cannot +help agreeing with my friend M'Slime, who, when he heard it, exclaimed +with tears of admiration in his eyes, 'it is beautiful--verily the +virtuous iniquity of it refreshes me! May that mild, meek, and most +gentlemanly Christian, Mr. Browbeater, be rewarded for it! And may the +day never come when he shall require to tread in the footsteps of the +devil!' Indeed, my lord, I cannot help crying amen to this, and adding, +that the remembrance of his virtues may descend and reflect honor on +his posterity, as, I have no doubt, they will do. How few like him could +transfuse the spirit of the Tipperary assassin into the moral principles +of the Castle, for useful purpose? I beg to inclose, your lordship, Mr. +Hartley's circular, which, I think, contains an indirect reflection on +certain existing bodies of a similar nature, and is therefore, in my +opinion, very offensive to us; I also enclose you others which he has +written to several of your tenants, who are already members of your own +corps, + +“I have the honor to be, &c, &c, +“Val M'Clutchy.” + + +The following is the circular alluded to above-- + +“Sir: As a proposal to raise an additional yeomanry corps of +_respectable_ cavalry in Castle Cumber and its vicinity is about to be +submitted to the Lord Lieutenant, in order to receive his approbation, +your presence is requested at Sam Company's Castle Cumber Arms, at +twelve o'clock on Friday next, when it is proposed to name officers, +and adopt such further measures as may appear most conducive to the +embodiment of the corps with expedition and effect. + +“I am, sir, +“Your humble servant, +“Henry Hartley.” + + +To his letter Val received the following reply-- + +“Belgrave Square. + +“Dear Sir: I received your letter, and perfectly agree with you as to +the offensive nature of Mr. Hartley's circular, many of which I have had +in my possession for some time past. With respect to him, I have only +to say, that he and I have agreed to arrange that matter between us, as +soon as I reach Castle Cumber. I am sorry that any of my tenants should +deserve the character which M'Loughlin and his partner have received +at your hand; I dare say, however, that if they did not deserve it they +would not get it. The arrangements for their removal, of course I leave +as I hitherto have left everything within the sphere of your duty, to +your own sense of honesty and justice. _Do not, however, take harsh +or sudden steps_. In the meantime lose not a moment in remitting the +needful. + +“Yours, &c, +“Cumber.” + + +It is not at all likely that Lord Cumber would ever have noticed +Hartley's circular, or troubled himself about the formation of the +new corps in the slightest degree were it not for the malignity of +M'Clutchy, who not only hated the whole family of the Hartleys from the +same principle on which a knave hates an honest man, but in remembrance +of that gentleman's cousin having, in his office, and in his own +presence, kicked his son Phil and pulled his nose. When enclosing +the circular, therefore, to his lordship, he underlined the word +“respectable,” by which it was made to appear deliberately offensive. +Whether it was used with the design of reflecting upon the licentious +violence of the blood-hounds, we pretend not to say, but we can safely +affirm that the word in the original document was never underlined +by Hartley. Lord Cumber, like his old father, was no coward, and +the consequence was, that having once conceived the belief that the +offensive term in the circular was levelled at his own corps--although +he had never even seen it--he, on the receipt of M'Clutchy's letter, +came to the determination of writing to Hartley upon the subject. + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +“Sir: I have just perused a circular written by you, calling a meeting +at the Castle Cumber Arms, with the object of forming what you are +pleased to term, a yeomanry corps of _respectable_ cavalry. Now you are +perfectly at liberty to bestow whatever epithets you wish upon your new +corps, provided these epithets contain no unfair insinuation against +existing corps. I think, therefore, that whilst others have been for +some time already formed in the neighborhood, your use of the term +respectable was, to say the least of it, unhandsome. I also perceive +that you have written to some of my tenants, who are already enrolled +in the Castle Cumber corps, and am informed that several of my men have +already given up their arms and clothing, on account of an application +from you to join your corps. I presume, sir, you did not know that these +persons belonged to the Castle Cumber troops, for, however anxious +in the cause you may be, I need not point out to you a very obvious +fact--to wit--that weakening a corps already embodied only tends to +defeat the purpose for which it was designed. I take it, therefore, for +granted, that no gentleman, however great his influence, would ask any +soldier to desert his colors, and I am sure you will tell those men that +they ought to remain in the body in which they were enrolled, and in +which enrollment their names have been returned to the war office. In +conclusion, I think that the tenant who does not reserve to himself the +power of serving the landlord under whom he derives the whole of his +property, is, in my opinion, both ungrateful and unprincipled: and +he who solicits him to resign that essential reservation is, I think, +extremely indelicate. + +“I am, &c, Cumber.” + + +To this Mr. Hartley sent the following:-- + +“My Lord: I cannot at all recognize the tyrannical principle you lay +down in your definition of the relations between landlord and tenant. I +deny that a tenant necessarily owes any such slavish and serf-like duty +to his landlord as you advocate; and I am of opinion, that the landlord +who enforces, or attempts to enforce such a duty, is stretching his +privileges beyond their proper limits. I do not understand that any of +your lordship's tenantry have been solicited to join our new corps. I +have signed circular letters for my own tenantry, and if any of them +have reached yours, it has been without either my consent or knowledge. + +“I have the honor to be, +“My lord, &c, +“Henry Hartley.” + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +“Sir: I beg to inquire whether you apply the word tyrannical to me? + +“I have the honor, &c, +“Cumber.” + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:-- + +“My Lord: I think if you had read my last communication with due +attention, you might have perceived that I applied the term which seems +to offend you, to your principles, rather than to yourself. So long as +your lordship continues, however, to advocate such a principle, so long +shall I associate it with the epithet in question. + +“I have the honor, &c, +“Henry Hartley.” + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +“Sir: Your letter merely contains a distinction without a difference. +So long as I identify my principles with myself, or myself with my +principles, so long shall I look upon any offence offered to the one as +offered to the other. The principle, therefore, which you brand with the +insulting epithet tyrannical, is one which I hold, and ever shall +hold; because I believe it to be just and not tyrannical. I await your +explanation, and trust it may be satisfactory. + +“I have the honor to be, &c, +“Cumber.” + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:-- + +“My Lord: I am not anxious to have a quarrel with you, and I believe you +will admit that the courage neither of myself nor any one of my +family was never called in question. I really regret that any serious +misunderstanding should arise between us, from this mere play upon +words. I trust, therefore, to your Lordship's good sense, and good +feeling, not to press me on this occasion. + +“I have the honor, &c, +“Henry Hartley.” + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +“Sir: I never doubted your courage until now. I have only to say, that I +beg an answer to my last letter. + +“I have the honor, &c, +“Cumber.” + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:-- + +“My Lord: Your Lordship will find it in my last but one. + +“I have the honor, &c, &c, +“Henry Hartley.” + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +“Sir: I beg to say that I shall be in Castle Cumber within a fortnight +from this date, and that you shall have early and instant notice of my +arrival. + +“I remain, &c, +“Cumber.” + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:-- + +“And I, my Lord, shall be ready to meet you either there or anywhere +else, + +“And have the honor, &c, +“Henry Hartley.” + + +In the meantime, and whilst this correspondence was going forward, +the political reeling about Castle Cumber rose rapidly between the +adherents and friends of each. M'Clutchy called a meeting of Lord +Cumber's friends and his own, which was held in the public rooms of +Castle Cumber. The following is the report taken from the columns of the +“True Blue: “-- + +“At a special meeting of the committee of the Castle Cumber cavalry, +held in that town on Monday, the 15th March, 18--, Lieutenant Philip +M'Clutchy in the chair. + +“Captain Valentine M'Clutchy having communicated to certain of the +Castle Cumber corps a circular letter, as well as committee to the +effect that Henry Hartley, Esq., having directed private letters, +influencing them to withdraw therefrom, and join a troop which he is +now about raising, and that in consequence of these steps on his part, +several of the Castle Cumber troopers had deserted, and were enrolled in +the new corps:-- + +“And Captain M'Clutchy having laid before the said Committee a copy of a +letter which he had drawn up to be sent to Henry Hartley, Esq., and +the Committee, having taken the same into their most serious +consideration:-- + +“It was unanimously resolved--That any attempt to induce the defection +of any members enrolled in such corps, even to join another corps, is +highly injurious to the Institution at large, inasmuch, as it holds +out a pernicious example of desertion, and above all, is calculated to +excite a jealous electioneering spirit, and create enmity between +the yeomanry troops, whose utility and value to the country depend on +unanimity and mutual good will. + +“Resolved--That the above resolution, together with the following letter +signed by the Chairman in the name of the meeting, be forwarded to Henry +Hartley, Esq.: + +“'Sir--Having associated for the safety and quiet of this portion of the +country, aa well as for the protection of our families and properties, +we feel ourselves particularly called upon, on an occasion like the +present, to stand forward and repel the attack made upon this loyal +corps, and, indeed, on the whole body of yeomanry throughout this +kingdom--in spiriting away, by your letters and undue influence, some +of our members, and attempting to procure others to be withdrawn from a +corps already enrolled, armed, and complete. Be assured, sir, we shall +be at all times ready, and happy to afford every assistance in +the formation of any new corps in our neighborhood, provided this +co-operation shall have no effect in diminishing our own. + +“'We, therefore, call upon you to reflect on the measures you have +taken and are taking, and not to persevere in the error of keeping such +deserters from our troop as have joined yours; as we shall in the case +of your persisting to do so, most certainly publish the whole course +of your proceedings in this matter for the satisfaction of our loyal +brethren throughout the kingdom, and leave them to decide between you +and us. + +“'Philip M'Clutchy, Chairman. +“'Valentine M'Cldtchy, Captain. +“'Richard Armstrong, Second Lieutenant. +“'Robebt M'bullet. +“'Charles Cartridge. +“'Boniface Buckram. +“'Dudley Fulton, Secretary.'” + + +To these documents, which were so artfully worded as to implicate +Hartley without openly committing themselves, that gentleman having +already had the understanding with Lord Cumber of which our readers are +already cognizant made the following brief reply. + + +“'To Richard Armstrong, Esq., second Lieutenant of the Castle Cumber +Cavalry:-- + +“Sir: I have received two resolutions passed at a meeting of your +troop in Castle Cumber, and regret to say, for the sake of the Yeomanry +service of the country, that I cannot send any communication to +those who bear the two first names on your committee. I trust I am a +gentleman, and that I shall not knowingly be found corresponding with +any but gentlemen. I have only now simply to say, that I repel with +great coolness--for indignation I feel none--the charges that have +been brought against me, both in the resolutions, and the letter which +accompanied them. Neither shall I take further notice of any letters +or resolutions you may send me, as I have no intention in future of +corresponding with any one on the subject, with the exception of Lord +Cumber himself, with whom I have had recent communications touching this +matter. + +“I am, sir, &c, “Henry Hartley.” + + +Our readers are, no doubt, a good deal surprised, that Phil, knowing, +from sad experience, the courage for which all the Hartley family were +so remarkable, should have ventured to undertake the post of chairman, +on an occasion where such charges were advanced against the gentleman +in question. And, indeed, so they ought to be surprised, as upon +the following morning no man living felt that sensation so deeply or +painfully as did worthy Phil himself, who experienced the tortures of +the damned. The whole secret of the matter, therefore, is, that Phil +had lately taken to drink--to drink at all hours too--morning, noon, and +night. In vain did his father remonstrate with him upon the subject; in +vain did he entreat on one occasion and command on another. Phil, who +was full of valor under certain circumstances, told his father he did +not care a curse for him, and d--d his honor if he would allow him +to curb him in that manner. The fact is, that Phil was at the present +period of our tale, as corrupt and profligate a scoundrel as ever walked +the earth. His father had no peace with him and received little else +at his hands than contempt, abuse, and threats of being horsewhipped. +Perhaps if our readers can remember the extermination scene at Drum Dhu, +together with the appearance of Kate Clank, they will be disposed to +think that the son's conduct now, was very like judicial punishment +on the father for what his own had been. Be this as it may--on the +following morning after the meeting at Castle Cumber, Phil's repentance, +had it been in a good cause, ought to have raised him to the calendar. +In truth, it rose to actual remorse. + +“Damn my honor, M'Clutchy”--for that was now the usual respectful tone +of his address to him--“were you not a precious old villain to allow me +to take the chair yesterday, when you knew what cursed fire-eaters these +Hartleys are?” + +“That, Phil, comes of your drinking brandy so early in the day. The +moment you were moved into the chair--and, by the way, I suspect +M'Bullet had a mischievous design in it--I did everything in my power, +that man could do, to prevent you from taking' it.” + +It's a d----d bounce, M'Clutchy, you did no such thing, I tell you. D--n +you altogether, I say! I would rather the devil had the whole troop, as +he will too, with Captain M'Clutchy at the head of them--” + +“Don't get into insubordination, my hero,” said his father; “why do you +put me over Lord Cumber's head?” + +“Ay,” replied the son, “when sending you-to Headquarters, you mean; yes, +my old knave, and when he and you and the whole kit of you get there, +you'll know then what permanent duty means. That scoundrel Hartley will +be sending a challenge to me.” + +“Make your mind easy, Phil,” replied his virtuous father, “there is not +the slightest danger of that; here's his reply to Armstrong, which Dick +himself handed me in Castle Cumber, a while ago. Read that and let it +console you.” + +Phil accordingly read Hartley's letter, in which both he and his father +were mentioned with such marked respect; and never did reprieve come +to a shivering, inanimate, and hopeless felon with the hangman's noose +neatly settled under his left ear, with a greater sense of relief than +did this communication to him. In fact, he had reached that meanness and +utter degradation of soul which absolutely feels comfort, and is glad to +take refuge, in the very contempt of an enemy. + +“I hope you're satisfied,” said his father. + +“All right, my old fellow--all right, Captain M'Clutchy, Magistrate and +Grand-juror. Damn my honor, but you're a fine old cock, Val--and now +I have spirits to take a glass of brandy, which I hadn't this whole +morning before.” + +“Phil,” said the father, “how do you think I can ever get you appointed +to the magistracy if you take to drink?” + +“Drink! why, blood, my old boy, is it this to me! Do you mean to tell me +that there are no drunken magistrates on the bench? Drink! why, man, let +me drink, swear, and play the devil among the ladies, surely you know +that my thorough Protestantism and loyalty will make up for, and redeem +all. Hey, then, for the glass of brandy, in which I'll drink your +health, and hang me, I'll not abuse you again--unless when you deserve +it, ha, ha, ha!” + +“At all events,” said Val, “keep yourself steady for this day; this is +the day, Phil, on which I will glut my long cherished vengeance against +Brian M'Loughlin--against him and his. I shall leave them this night +without a roof over their heads, as I said I would, and, Phil, when you +are in possession of his property and farm, and he and his outcasts, he +will then understand what I meant, when I told him with a boiling heart +in Castle Cumber Fair, that his farm and mine lay snugly together.” + +“But what will you do with the sick woman, I mean his wife?” asked Phil, +putting a glass of brandy to his lips, and winking at his father; “what +will you do with the sick woman, I say?” + +Val's face became so frightfully ghastly, and presented so startling a +contrast between his complexion and black bushy brows, that even Phil +himself got for a moment alarmed, and said:-- + +“My God, father, what is the matter?” + +Val literally gasped, as if seeking for breath, and then putting his +hand upon his heart, he said-- + +“Phil, I am sick here--” + +“I see you are,”' said Phil, “but what is the matter, I say again? why +are you sick?” + +“Vengeance, Phil; I am sick with vengeance! The moment is now near, and +at last I have it within my clutch;” and here he extended his hand, and +literally made a clutch at some imaginary object in the air. + +“Upon my honor,” said Philip, “I envy you; you are a fine, consistent +old villain.” + +“The sick woman, Phil! By the great heavens, and by all that they +contain--if they do contain anything--I swear, that if every individual +of them, men and women, were at the last gasp, and within one single +moment of death--ha! hold,” said he, checking himself, “that would never +do. Death! why death would end all their sufferings.” + +“Oh, not all, I hope,” said Phil, winking again. + +“No matter,” resumed Val, “their sufferings in this life it would end, +and so I should no longer be either eye-witness or ear-witness of their +destitution and miseries. I would see them, Phil, without house or +home--without a friend on earth--without raiment, without food--ragged, +starved--starved out of their very virtues--despised, spat upon, +and trampled on by all! To these, Phil, I thought to have added +shame--shame; but we failed--we have failed.” + +“No,” replied Phil, “I give you my word, we did not.” + +“We did, sir,” said the father; “Harman and she are now reconciled, and +this is enough for the people, who loved her. Yes, by heavens, we have +failed.” Val sat, or almost dropped on a chair as he spoke, for he had +been pacing through the parlor until now; and putting his two hands +over his face, he sobbed out--groaned even with agony--until the tears +literally gushed in torrents through his fingers. “I thought to have +added shame to all I shall make them suffer,” he exclaimed; “but in that +I am frustrated.” He here naturally clenched his hands and gnashed his +teeth, like a man in the last stage of madness. + +On removing his hands, too, his face, now terribly distorted out of +its lineaments by the convulsive workings of this tremendous passion, +presented an appearance which one might rather suppose to have been +shaped in hell, so unnaturally savage and diabolical were all its +outlines. + +Phil, who had sat down at the same time, with his face to the back of +the chair, on which his two hands were placed, supporting his chin, kept +his beautiful eyes, seated as he was in that graceful attitude, fixed +upon his father with a good deal of surprise. Indeed it would be a +difficult thing, considering their character and situation, to find +two countenances more beautifully expressive of their respective +dispositions. If one could conceive the existence of any such thing as a +moral looking-glass placed between them, it might naturally be supposed +that Val, in looking at Phil, saw himself; and that Phil in his virtuous +father's face also saw his own. The son's face and character, however, +had considerably the advantage over his father's. Val's presented merely +what you felt you must hate, even to abhorrence; but the son's, that +which you felt to be despicable besides, and yet more detestable still. + +“Well,” said Phil, “all I can say is, that upon my honor, my worthy +father, I don't think you shine at the pathetic. Damn it, be a man, and +don't snivel in that manner, just like a furious drunken woman, when +she can't get at another drunken woman who is her enemy. Surely if we +failed, it wasn't our faults; but I think I can console you so far as +to say we did not fail. It's not such an easy thing to suppress scandal, +especially if it happens to be a lie, as it is in the present case.” + +“Ah,” said the father with bitterness, “it was all your fault, you +ill-looking Bubber-lien. (*An ignorant, awkward booby.) At your age, +your grandfather would not have had to complain of want of success.” + +“Come, M'Clutchy--I'll not bear this--it's cursed ungenerous in you, +when you know devilish well how successful I have been on the property.” + +“Ay,” said Val, “and what was the cause of that? Was it not merely among +those who were under our thumb--the poor and the struggling, who fell in +consequence of your threats, and therefore through fear of us only; +but when higher game and vengeful purposes were in view, see what a +miserable hand you made of it. I tell you, Phil, if I were to live +through a whole eternity, I could never forgive M'Loughlin the triumph +that his eye had over me in Castle Cumber Fair. I felt that he looked +through me--that he saw as clearly into my very heart, as you would of +a summer day into a glass beehive. My eye quailed before him--my brow +fell; but then--well--no matter; I have him now--ho, ho, I have him +now!” + +“I wonder the cars and carts are not coming before now,” observed Phil, +“to take away the furniture, and other valuables.” + +“I am surprised myself,” replied Val; “they ought certainly to have been +here before now. Darby got clear instructions to summon them.” + +“Perhaps they won't come,” observed the other, “until--Gad, there's his +rascally knock, at all events. Perhaps he has sent them up.” + +“No,” said Val; “I gave him positive instructions to order them here in +the first instance.” + +Darby now entered. + +“Well, Darby,” said Val, who, on account of certain misgivings, treated +the embryo gaoler with more civility than usual; “what news? How many +cars and carts have von got?” + +Darby sat down and compressed his lips, blew out his cheeks, and after +looking about the apartment for a considerable time, let out his breath +gradually until the puff died away. + +“What's the matter with you, Darby?” again inquired Val. + +Darby went over to him, and looking seriously into his face--then +suddenly laying down his hat--said, as he almost wrung his hands-- + +“There's a Spy, sir, on the Estate; a Popish Spy, as sure as Idolathry +is rank in this benighted land.” + +“A Spy!” exclaimed Phil, “we know there is.” + +“Be quiet, Phil--who is he, Darby?” + +“Why, sir, a fellow--of the name of Weasand--may Satan open a gusset +in his own for him this day! Sure, one Counsellor Browbeater, at the +Castle, sir--they say he's the Lord o' the Black Trot--Lord save us-- +whatever that is--” + +“The Back Trot, Darby--go on.” + +“Well, sir, the Back Trot; but does that mean that he trots backwards, +sir?” + +“Never mind, Darby, he'll trot anyway that will serve his own +purposes--go on, I tell you.” + +“Well, sir, sure some one has wrote to this Counsellor Browbeater about +him, and what do you think, but Counsellor Browbeater has wrote to Mr. +Lucre, and Mr. Lucre spoke to me, so that it's all the same as if the +Castle had wrote to myself---and axed me if I knewn anything about him.” + +“Well, what did you say?” + +“Why, I said I did not, and neither did I then; but may I never die in +sin, but I think I have a clue to him now.” + +“Well, and how is that?” + +“Why, sir, as I was ordhering the tenantry in wid the cars and carts +to remove M'Loughlin's furniture, I seen this Weasand along wid Father +Roche, and there they were--the two o' them--goin' from house to house; +whatever they said to the people I'm sure I don't know, but, anyhow, +hell resave--hem.” + +“Take care, Darby,” said Val, “no swearing--I fear you're but a bad +convert.” + +“Why, blood alive, sir,” replied Darby, “sure turnin' Protestant, I +hope, isn't to prevent me from swearin'--don't themselves swear through +thick and thin? and, verily, some of the Parsons too, are as handy at +it, as if they had sarved an apprenticeship to it.” + +“Well, but about this fellow, the Spy?” + +“Why, sir, when I ordhered the cars the people laughed at me, and said +they had betther autority for keepin' them, than you had for sendin' +for them; and when I axed them who it was, they laughed till you'd think +they'd split. I know very well it's a _Risin_ that's to be; and our +throats will be cut by this blackguard spy, Weasand.” + +“And so you have got no cars,” said Val. + +“I got one,” he replied, “and meetin' Lanty Gorman goin' home wid Square +Deaker's ass--King James--or Sheemus a Cocka, as he calls him--that +is, 'Jemmy the Cock,' in regard of the great courage he showed at the +Boyne--I made him promise to bring him up. Lanty, sir, says the Square's +a'most gone.” + +“Why, is he worse?” asked Val, very coolly. + +“Begad, sir, sure he thinks it's the twelfth o' July; and he was always +accustomed to get a keg of the Boyne Wather, whenever that day came +round, to drink the loyal toasts in; and nothing would satisfy him but +that Lanty would put the cart on Sheemus a Cocka, and bring him a keg of +it all the way from the Boyne. Lanty to plaise him, sets off wid himself +to St. Patrick's Well, where they make the Stations, and filled his keg +there; and the Square, I suppose, is this moment drinkin', if he's able +to drink, the Glorious Memory in blessed wather, may God forgive him, or +blessed punch, for it's well known that the wather of St. Patrick's Well +is able to consecrate the whiskey any day, glory be to God!” + +“Damn my honor, Darby,” said Phil, “but that's queer talk from a +Protestant, if you are one.” + +“Och, sure aren't we all Protestant together, now?” replied Darby; “and +sure, knowing that, where's the use of carryin' the matter too far? +Sure, blood alive, you wouldn't have me betther than yourselves? I hope +I know my station, gintlemen.” + +“Ah, Darby,” said Phil, “you're a neat boy, I think.” + +“What's to be done?” asked Val; “their refusal to send their horses and +cars must be owing to the influence of this priest Roche.” + +“Of course it is,” replied the son; “I wish to God I had the hanging +of him; but why did you send to those blasted papists at all? sure the +blood-hounds were your men.” + +“Why did I, Phil? ah, my good shallow Son--ha, why did I?” he spoke in +a low condensed whisper, “why, to sharpen my vengeance. It was my design +to have made one papist aid in the oppression of another. Go off, Darby, +to Castle Cumber, and let twelve or fourteen of my own corps come to +M'Loughlin's with their horses and carts immediately;--call also to +M'Slime's, and desire him to meet me there forthwith; and bid Hanlon and +the other two fellows to wait outside until they shall be wanted. The +sheriff will be at M'Loughlin's about two o'clock.” + +After Darby had gone, Val paused for a while, then rose, and walked +about, apparently musing and reflecting, with something of uneasiness +and perplexity in his looks; whilst Phil unfolded the True Blue, and +began to peruse its brilliant pages with his usual nonchalance. + +“Phil,” said the father, “there is one thing I regret, and it is that +I promised Solomon Harman's farm. We should, or rather you should, you +know, have secured both--for I need not tell you that two good things +are better than one, and as my friend Lucre knows--who, by the way, is +about to be made a bishop of, now that he of ------ ------ has gone +to his account. Solomon, however, having been aware of the fines they +offered, _ex officio_, as the Law Agent, I thought the safest thing +was to let them go snacks. If, however, we could so manage, before Lord +Cumber's arrival, as to get him discarded, we might contrive to secure +the other farm also. The affair of the young woman, on which I rested +with a good deal of confidence, would, I am inclined to think, on second +consideration, rather raise him in that profligate Lord's esteem than +otherwise.” + +“Why, did you not hear that he was publicly expelled from the +congregation?” said Phil; “and as to the history of Susanna, that's all +over the parish these two days. Her father brought the matter before the +congregation, and so far Solomon's hypocrisy is exposed.” + +“In that case, then,” said Val, “something may be done yet. We must only +now endeavor to impress Lord Cumber with a strong sense of what is due +to public opinion, which would be outraged by having such a Law Agent +on his estate. Come, leave the matter to me, and we shall turn Solomon's +flank yet; I know he hates me, because I curtailed his pickings, by +adopting the system of not giving leases, unless to those on whom we +can depend. Besides, the little scoundrel has no political opinions +whatsoever, although an Orangeman.” + +“Come, my old cock, no hypocrisy; what political opinions have you got?” + +“Very strong ones, Phil.” + +“What are they?--you hate the papists, I suppose?” + +“Cursed stuff, Phil; the papists are as good as other people; but still +I hate them, Phil, because it's my interest to do so. A man that's not +an anti-papist now is nothing, and has no chance. No, Phil, I am not +without a political opinion, notwithstanding, and a strong one too.” + +“What is it, then?” + +“Here,” said he, laying his hand upon his breast, “here is my political +opinion. Valentine M'Glutchy, Phil, is my political creed, and my +religious one too.” + +“After all,” replied Phil, “you are a chip of the old block.” + +“Yes, Phil; but I don't parade it to the world as he does--and there's +the difference.” + +“Well, thank heaven,” said the son, “I have no brains for any creed; but +I know I hate Popery and the Papists as I do the devil.” + +“And that, Phil, is the enlightened sentiment upon which all bigotry and +mutual hatred between creeds is based. But you, Phil, could never be +so vexatious as a foe to Popery as I could--your very passions and +prejudices would occasionally obstruct you even in persecution--but I--I +can do it coolly, clearly, and upon purely philosophical principles. +I hate M'Loughlin upon personal principles--I hate the man, not his +religion; and here there must be passion: but in matters of religion, +Phil, there is nothing so powerful--so destructive--so lasting--so sharp +in persecution--and so successful, as a passionless resentment. That, +Phil, is the abiding and imperishable resentment of churches and creeds, +which has deluged the world with human blood.” + +“Curse your philosophy, I don't understand it; when I hate, I hate--and +I'm sure I hate Popery, and that's enough.” + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX.--Solomon Suffers a Little Retribution + +--Requests Widow Lenehan to “Wrestle” for Him--Deaker's Death-Bed--Dies +Loyally Whistling the Boyne Water. + + +The conversation had proceeded thus far, when Lanty Gorman, already +spoken of, knocked at the door, and asked to see Mr. M'Clutchy. + +Val went to the hall. + +“Well, Lanty, what's the matter?--how is your master?” + +“Plaise your honor,” said the lad, “I think you ought to go to him; he's +at the last gasp, sir; if you'd see the way his face is, and his eyes.” + +“He is worse, then?” + +“I don't think it's so much sickness, sir, as--” + +“As what?” + +“As the liquor, your honor; he's at the Glorious Memory, sir, till he's +nearly off; he thinks it's the Boyne wather he's drinkin' it in, sir, +otherwise I don't b'lieve he'd take so much of it. _Sheemus a Cocka_ and +the cart's in the yard, sir; Darby said you wanted them.” + +“Take _Sheemus a Cocka_ to h--l, sir,” said Phil, “we don't want +him--he's a kind of papist; take him away to h--l out of this.” + +“I can only take him to the gates, sir; unfortunately there's no +entrance there for a papish, Captain Phil; if we could only get him to +turn Protestant, sir, it's himself 'ud get the warm welcome. But,” he +proceeded, addressing Val, “wouldn't it be a charity, sir, to go over +and see the state he's in; Tom Corbet, the butler, says its a burnin' +sin and shame to look at him, widout any one near him but that vagabone, +Miss Fuzzle, an' he dyin', like a dog.” + +“I shall be there immediately,” replied Val. “Bring the ass home again; +we do not want him. Now, Phil,” he proceeded, “I shall ride over, to see +how matters are going on; and in the meantime I think it would be well +to get Hanlon, and those other two who were out with Darby for his +protection--for the fellow pretends to be afraid, and carries arms--it +would be as well, I say, to get two or three additional affidavits +against this Easel prepared by my return; for we must make our case as +firm as we can. Whether the fellow's a Popish Agent, or whether he's +not, doesn't matter a curse. I don't think he is myself; but at all +events it will be a strong proof in the eye of the government, that we +are at least vigilant, active, and useful men. I will entrust his arrest +to you, and you shall have the full credit of it at headquarters. I hope +soon to have you on the Bench. Only I do beg, that for your own sake and +mine, you will keep from the brandy. I have remitted the rents to Lord +Cumber, who will soon make them fly.” + +In a few minutes afterwards he proceeded at full speed to the edifying +death-bed of his father. + +Whilst Phil is preparing the supplementary affidavits for Easel's +arrest, which he stretched out considerably by interpolations drawn from +his own imagination, we shall follow Darby to M'Slime's, observing, +_en passant_, that the aforesaid Darby, as he went, might have been +perceived to grin and chuckle, and sometimes give a short, low, abrupt +cackle, of a nature peculiarly gratifying to himself. + +“Devil a _smite_ ever either of them left on any bone thrown me,” he +exclaimed. “Instead o' that they begridged me the very fees that I was +entitled to, bad luck to them! Well no matther!” and here he shrugged and +chuckled again, and so continued to do as he went along. + +As for Solomon, he felt full occasion that morning for all his +privileges and spiritual sustainment. A few days previous, he had been +brought before his brother Elders by Susanna's father, whose statement +was unfortunately too plain to admit of any doubt or misapprehension on +the subject. These respectable men--for with but another exception they +were so--discharged their duty as became them. The process of expulsion +was gone into, but rather with a spirit of sorrow for the failings of +an erring and sinful fellow-creature, than with any of the dogmatic and +fiery indignation, which, under the plea of charity for his soul, is too +often poured upon the head of a backslider. The fact now was that the +consequences of his crime were about to come home to him, in a manner +which required the exhibition of all the moral courage he possessed. It +is unnecessary to inform our readers, that he had assumed the cloak of +hypocrisy for the purpose of merely advancing his own interests among +a certain section of the religious world. No sooner, however, did the +history of his expulsion and its cause become general, than all those +religious clients, who felt themselves scandalized by his conduct, +immediately withdrew their business out of his hands, and transferred +it to those of others; and not only persons of a decidedly religious +character, but also almost every one who detested hypocrisy, and loved +to see it exposed and punished. In truth, short as the period was since +that exposure, Solomon was both surprised and mortified at the number of +clients and friends who deserted him. + +He was meditating over these things then that morning, when Widow +Lenehan, of whom, mention has already been made, a religious woman, +and notwithstanding her name, a member of the congregation to which he +belonged, entered his office, accompanied by her brother. + +“Ah, Mrs. Lenehan, how do you do? and my friend Palmer, I hope I see you +well!” + +“Pretty well, Mr. M'Slime; as well as these hard times will let us.” + +“Hard times! true, my friend, hard times they are indeed; very +hard--yea, even as a crushing rock to those who are severely tried. +But affliction is good, my friends, and if it be for our soul's health, +then, indeed, it is good to be afflicted.” + +To this, neither Mrs. Lenehan nor her brother made any reply; and +Solomon was left to console himself with a holy groan or two--given in +that peculiar style which hypocrisy only can accomplish, but which +is altogether out of the sphere, and beyond the capacity of true +repentance. + +“Mr. M'Slime,” said Palmer, “my sister has at present”--which was +the fact--although Solomon did not believe it--“a more advantageous +opportunity of investing those eight hundred pounds which the poor +woman has scraped together, and she wishes to draw them out of the funds +without any delay; she wishes to sell out.” + +“Of course,” said Solomon; “and, indeed, Mrs. Lenehan, I am delighted to +hear it. How are you about to have the money invested, ma'am? Only give +me the names of the parties, with the nature of the securities, and I +shall have the whole matter safely managed with as little delay as may +be.” + +“She wishes first, Mr. M'Slime, to get the money into her own +hands,” said Palmer, “and, I believe, I may as well state that, as a +conscientious Christian woman, she does not feel justified in availing +herself any longer of your professional services, Mr. M'Slime.” + +“Indeed,” observed the widow, “I don't see how I could, Mr. M'Slime; I +trust I am a Christian woman, as he says, and for a Christian woman to +continue you, as her attorney, would be, I fear, to encourage hypocrisy +and sin; and I feel that it would not be permitted to me to do so, +unless I abuse my privileges.” + +“Heigho,” thought Solomon, “here am I punished, as it were, in my own +exact phraseology; verily, the measure is returning unto me.” + +“Well, Mrs. Lenehan, this is part of my individual dispensation--may +it be precious to me! There is a mystery in many things, and there is a +mystery in this; a mystery which, I trust, shall yet be cleared up, even +so as that I shall indulge in much rejoicing when I look back upon it. +Mr. Palmer, you, I trust, are a Christian man, and you, Mrs. Lenehan, a +Christian woman--Now, let me ask, did you ever hear that it is possible +for an innocent man to be condemned as though he were guilty? Oh! I +could argue strongly on this--but that I know now is not the hour.” + +“Well, but to business, Mr. M'Slime; my sister wants the money into her +own hands.” + +“And in her own hands it shall be placed, Mr. Palmer; but this, you +are aware, cannot be done for a few days--until, at all events, I go to +Dublin.” + +“When will that be?” asked Palmer. “About this day week (D.V.). Term +commences on to-morrow week, but I am generally in town a day or two +before. + +“Very well, then, on this day week we shall be in town, too, and will +call at your office about ten o'clock. + +“The exact hour, my dear friend--and pray be punctual--and my friend +Palmer--my dear friend, will you confer a great, an important favor on +me? and you, Mrs. Lenehan, for you can?” + +“What is it?” said Palmer. “When at family worship think of me. If I am +what the world begins to say I am, oh! do not I require, and stand in +need of your prayers, and most earnest supplications--yea, Mrs. Lenehan, +even that you should wrestle for me--that I may be restored to the +fold:--and if I am innocent--if--if--oh! why do I say if?” said he, +turning up his eyes, and clasping his hands, whilst the tears of +hypocrisy actually trickled down his cheeks, “but it is known--that +precious word innocence is known? Peace be with you both!” + +Darby, on his arrival, found him engaged in writing at his desk, and on +casting his eye slightly at the paper he perceived that he was drawing +out a bill of costs. + +“Darby, my friend,” said Solomon, after the first salutations were over, +“when will you enter upon the duties of your new office.” + +“Plaise God, as soon as Mr. M'Darby leaves it--which will be in a few +days, I hope; and how are you, Mr. M'Slime?” + +“Tried in the furnace of affliction, nine times heated, Darby.” + +“It's a sad thing to be accused unjustly, Mr. M'Slime,” said Darby +looking him shrewdly in the face with one eye shut; “but then it's well +that this--this--visitation has come upon a man that has thrue religion +to support him, as you have, under it.” + +“Darby, my friend, there are none of us perfect--we all have our +frailties--our precious little--ay! yes;--you know, Darby, the just man +falleth seven times a day.” + +Darby started, and despite of all the influence of his new creed +exclaimed--“Blessed Saints, seven times! Arra when was this, Mr. +M'Slime? Troth, I think, it must be in the owld pagan times long ago, +when the people were different from what they are now.” + +“You see, Darby, that just men, that is the Elect, have their +privileges.” + +“Troth, if to fall seven times a day is the privilege of a just man, I'd +never be anything else all my life,” replied Darby; “and myself wondhers +that there's e'er an unjust man alive.” + +“Darby, I fear that Mr. Lucre has not improved your perceptions of +spiritual things.” + +“Why, as to that, Mr. M'Slime, if you knew Mr. Lucre's piety as well +as I do--however, as you say yourself, sir, it's known, or rather it's +unknown, the piety of that gintleman.” + +“Well, Darby, between you and me, I am just as well satisfied that +you did not attach yourself, as I expected you would have done, to our +congregation; for, to acknowledge a truth, Darby, which I do in all +charity, I tell you, my friend, that they are awfully Pharisaical, and +wretchedly deficient in a proper sense of Christian justice; I, Darby, +am a proof of it. I mentioned to another person before, Darby, that the +Christian devotion of an act I did, would occasion considerable risk +to my own reputation, and you see it has done so. I shall bear all the +blame, Darby--all shame, Darby--all opprobium, Darby, sooner than +that precious vessel--hitherto precious, I should have said--and yet, +perhaps, precious still--” + +“He is a just man, may be,” said Darby. “He is, I would trust--sooner, I +say, than that precious vessel should be broken up as unprofitable.” + +“I suppose he is one of those vessels, sir,” said Darby, “that don't +wish to hould any wather, unless when it's mix--” + +“He is, or rather was, a brother Elder, Darby; but then, it mattereth +not; I have covered his trangressions with my charity. I permit you to +say as much among your friends in the religious world, whenever you hear +the name of Solomon M'Slime mentioned. It is also due to myself to say +as much.” + +“I'm afther comin' from Mr. M'Clutchy's, sir,” said Darby, “and he +desired me to say that he hopes you'll attend at Mr. M'Loughlin's about +two o'clock, and not to fail, as its to be a busy day wid him. The +sheriffs to be there to put them out.” + +“I shall not fail, Darby,” replied the attorney; “but who comes here, +riding at a rapid pace, like a messenger who bringeth good tidings?” + +Darby looked out, and at once recognized one of Deaker's grooms, riding +at a smart gallop towards Solomon's house. + +The latter raised the window as the man approached-- + +“Well, my friend, what is the matter?” + +“Sir, Mr. Deaker wishes to see you above all things; he is just dying, +and swears he cannot depart till you come.” + +“I shall order the car immediately,” replied Solomon. “Say I shall not +lose a moment.” + +The man wheeled round his horse, and galloped off at even a greater +speed than before. + +“Darby, my friend,” said he, “I shall attend at M'Loughlin's without +fail. Justice must be rendered, Darby; justice must be rendered to that +wretched man and his family.” + +Darby looked him in the face with a peculiar expression-- + +“Yes, sir,” said he; “plaise God, justice shall be rendhered as you +say--no doubt of that.” + +He then left the house, and ere he had proceeded a score yards, turned +and said-- + +“Yes, you netarnal villain--you know the justice you and M'Clutchy +rendhered me--bad luck to you both, I pray, this day! Any how it'll soon +come back to yez.” + +In a few minutes Solomon was on his way, with an anxious expectation +that he had been called upon to draw up Deaker's will. + +Val, on reaching his father's, heard from Tom Corbet, with a good +deal of surprise, that Solomon had been sent for expressly. A glance, +however, at the invalid induced him to suppose that such a message could +proceed from nothing but the wild capricious impulses under which he +labored. Much to his surprise also, and indeed to his mortification, +he found before him two gentlemen, whom Deaker, who it appears had been +conscious of his approaching dissolution, had sent for, with his +usual shrewdness, to guard and preserve his loose property from his +unfortunate housekeeper on the one hand, and his virtuous son Val, on +the other. These gentlemen were his cousins, and indeed we are inclined +to think that their presence at that precise period was, considering all +things, rather seasonable than otherwise. They had not, however, arrived +many minutes before Val, so that when he came, they were still in one of +the parlors, waiting for Deaker's permission to see him. A little +delay occurred; but the moment Val entered, with his usual privilege he +proceeded straight to the sick room, whilst at the same moment a message +came up to say that the other gentlemen “might come up and be d--d.” The +consequence was, that the three entered the room nearly together. Great +was their surprise, however--at least of two of them their disgust, +their abhorrence, on seeing, as they approached his bed-room, a +female--Young certainly, and handsome--wrapped in a night-dress--her +naked feet slippered, her nice flushed and her gait tottering, escaping, +as it were, out of it. + +On passing them, which it was necessary she should do, she did not +seem ashamed, but turned her eyes on them with an expression of maudlin +resentment, that distorted her handsome but besotted features into +something that was calculated to shock those who looked upon her. There +she passed, a licentious homily upon an ill-spent life--upon a life +of open, steady, and undeviating profligacy; there she passed the +meretricious angel of his death-bed, actually chased by the presence of +men from the delirious depravity of his dying pollutions! + +“There is no necessity, gentlemen,” said Val, “for my making an apology +for this shocking sight--you all know the life, in this respect, that my +unfortunate father led.” + + * This, like most other scenes in the present work, is no + fiction. + +“In any case it is unprecedented,” replied one of them; “but if he be so +near death, as we apprehend, it is utterly unaccountable--it is awful.” + They then entered. + +Deaker was lying a little raised, with an Orange silk night-cap on his +head, embellished with a figure of King William on horseback. Three or +four Orange pocket-handkerchiefs, each, owing to the excellent taste of +the designer, with a similar decoration of his Majesty in the centre, +lay about the bed, and upon a little table that stood near his head. +There was no apothecary's bottles visible, for it is well known that +whatever may have been the cause of Deaker's death he died not of +any malady known in the Pharmacopeia. In truth, he died simply of an +over-wrought effort at reviving his departed energies, joined to a most +loyal, but indomitable habit of drinking the Glorious Memory in brandy. + +“Well, Vulture,” said he on seeing Val, “do you smell the death-damp +yet, that you're here? Is the putrefaction of my filthy old carcase on +the wind yet? Here Lanty, you imp,” he said turning his eyes on the ripe +youth as he brought in a large jug of the “Boyne”--in other words of +St. Patrick's Well water--“I say you--you clip, do you smell the +putrefaction of my filthy old carcase yet? eh?” + +“Begad, sir, it's no the pleasantest smell in the world at the present +time; and there's a pair of big, black, thievish look in' ould Ravens, +sittin' for the last two or three days upon the black beech, as if they +had a suspicion of something. Tom Corbet and I have fired above a dozen +shots at them, and blazes to the feather we can take out o' them. So +far from that, they sit there laughin' at us. Be me sowl, it's truth, +gentlemen.” + +“Begone, sirra,” said Val, “how dare you use such language as this to +your master; Leave the room.” + +Lanty rubbed his hair with his middle finger and went reluctantly out. + +“Ah,” said Deaker, “I'm glad to see you bore, Dick Bredin--and you +Jack--stay here till I'm in the dirt, and you'll find I have not +forgotten either of you.--As for the Vulture there, he is very well able +to take care of himself--he is--oh, a d----d rogue!” + +Deaker's face, was such a one as, perhaps, was never witnessed on a +similar occasion, if there ever were a similar occasion. It presented +the cadaverous aspect of the grave, lit up into the repulsive and +unnatural animation that resulted from intoxication, and the feeble +expiring leer of a worse passion. There was a dead but turbid glare in +his eye; half of ice, and half of fire, as it were, which when taken in +connection with his past life, was perfectly dreadful and appalling. If +it was not the ruling passion strong in death, it was the ruling passion +struggling for a divided empire with that political Protestantism which +regulated his life, but failed to control his morals. + +“Here,” said he, “mix me some brandy and water, or--stop, ring the bell, +Dick Bredin.” + +Bredin rang the bell accordingly, and in a minute or so Lanty came in. + +“Here, you imp, do your duty.” + +“Haven't you enough, sir? more, I think, will do you harm.” + +“Go to h--l, you young imp of perdition, do your duty, I say.” + +Lanty here mixed him some brandy and water, and then held it to his +lips. + +“Here,” said he, “here is the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory! hip, +(hiccup) oh--ay--hip, hip, hurrah! Now, Lanty, you clip, that's one part +of my duty done.” + +“It is, sir,” replied Lanty; “you always did your duty, Square.” + +“Ay, but there's more to come--lay me back now, Lanty; lay me back till +I whistle the Boyne Water.” + +Lanty accordingly laid him back a little, and he immediately commenced +an attempt to whistle that celebrated air by way of consolation on his +death-bed. + +“He's not always settled, gentlemen,” said Lanty, “and I see that one of +his wandering fits is comin' on him now.” + +“What is the reason,” said Captain Bredin--for such was the rank of +the person he called Dick--“why is it that there is not a physician in +attendance?” + +“He would not let one of the thieves near him,” replied Lanty, “for +fraid they'd kill him.” + +“That is true,” observed Val; “he always entertained a strong antipathy +against them, and would consult none.” + +“Did Solomon M'Slime come?” he inquired. + +“Here's a foot on the stairs,” said Lanty, “maybe it's he--” and Lanty +was right, for he had scarcely spoken when the worthy attorney entered. + +“Solomon, you sleek, hypocritical rascal,” said he, “I do not forget +you; read that paper; you will find at the bottom of it these words, +on one side, 'sworn before me, this'--no matter about the day--signed +'Randal Deaker;' and on the other, 'Susanna Bamet.' Solomon, I could not +die happily without this hit at you. Your hypocrisy is known,--ha, +ha, ha! Come, d--n me; I never lived a hypocrite, and I won't die one. +Lanty, you imp, the brandy.” + +“I'll only give him a little,” said the lad, looking and nodding at +them. + +“Come, then, 'the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory!'--hip--ah, lay +me down--hi-p-p-p!” + +He now closed his eyes for some time, and it was observed that strange +and fearful changes came over his face. Sometimes he laughed, +and sometimes he groaned, and, indeed, no words could express the +indescribable horror which fell upon those present, or, at least, upon +most of them, as the stillness of the room was from time to time broken +by the word--“damnation” pronounced in the low and hollow voice of +approaching death. + +Solomon, who had glanced at the affiliating affidavit made by Susanna, +was the first to break the silence. + +“In truth, my friends,” said he, “I fear it is not good to be here; +and were it not that I am anxious to witness what is rarely seen, a +reprobate and blasphemous death-bed, I would depart even now.” + +After some time Deaker called out--“Help me up, Lanty; here, help me up, +you whelp.” + +Lanty immediately did so, and aided him to sit nearly upright in the +bed. + +“The tumbler, Lanty--Lanty, my lad, 'let us eat, drink, and be mer--ry, +for to-mor--row we die;' here's the glor--, pio--, and immor--I, +memo--, hi-p, hi-p-p! And now I swore th--at I wo--uld die whistling it, +and by that oath I will.” He then looked around, and seemed to recover +himself a little. “Ay,” he continued, “I'll do it, if I don't I'll be +d----d! lay me down, you imp of hell; there, that will do.” + +He then gathered his mouth and lips, as those do who whistle, and at the +moment a long rattle of death was heard in his throat, then a shrill, +feeble sound, like that of the wind through reeds, melancholy and +wailing; issued from his white and gathered lips, and then was a +silence. + +For some minutes it was not broken, at length M'Clutchy went over, and +on looking into his face, and feeling his pulse and heart he announced +the fact of his death. + +“Well,” said Lanty, “he kept his word, at all events; he swore many a +fearful oath, that he would die whistling the Boyne Wather, and he did: +but, be my soul, he didn't die drinldn' it, as he thought. I must go and +let them know in the house that he's gone. + +“And bring my car to the door,” said Solomon, “as quickly as you can. +Well,” he proceeded, “the man is now gone, and, indeed, my friends, I +fear that Satan is not at this moment without a companion, if he is on +his way to his own dominions.” + +Deaker's features at that moment presented the most extraordinary +appearance. As he lay, there appeared evident upon them the somewhat +comic set, which was occasioned by his attempt to whistle the Boyne +Water. He had but one tooth in front, which now projected a little; and +as he always whistled with his mouth twisted somewhat to the one side it +would be difficult to witness such a striking sight. But, when to this +we add the recollection of his life and habits, and mention the fact +that the very act of whistling the Boyne Water brought forward in his +face all the gross characteristics of his licentious passions, we may +fairly admit that the face and features very faithfully represented the +life and principles of the man who owned them. + +Lanty, who had gone to acquaint the servants with his death, and to get +round Solomon's car, now came in with a pale face:-- + +“Gentlemen,” said he, “as sure as life's in me, the two black thievish +ravens that sot on the black beech-tree these two days past, is off; +hell resave the feather o' them's there--it's truth!--The moment the +breath was out of his body they made back to where they came from; they +got what they wanted, you see and it stands to reason, or what 'ud keep +them watchin' there these three days. As for myself, be me sowl the +first thing I'll do will be to make a severe station to St. Patrick's +Well to get the grain o' the sin off o' me that has been committed in +this house.” + +Val, for years, knew his father's disposition too well to form any +expectations whatsoever from him, and, indeed, it is but just to say +that old Deaker took care not to allow him an opportunity of falling +into a single misconception on the subject. As a natural consequence, +Val hated him, and would have come long before to an open rupture with +him, were it not that he feared to make him his enemy. He also thought +it possible that Deaker, out of respect for his villany, might in some +capricious moment have thought of rewarding it; and so probably he might +have done, were it not for two traits in his character which his worthy +father especially detested--viz., cowardice and hypocrisy. + +Val, on his return home, found fewer carts than he had calculated upon +even among his blood-hounds. Orangemen, in the social and civil duties +of life, are sterling and excellent men in general. It is only when +brought together for the discharge of political duties, by such +miscreants as M'Clutchy, or when met in their Lodges under the united +influence of liquor and mad prejudices; or when banded together in fairs +and markets under the same stimulants, and probably provoked and dared +by masses of less open and more treacherous opponents; it is only then +we say that their most licentious outrages were committed. Meet the +Orangeman, however, in his field, or in his house and he will aid and +assist you in your struggles or difficulties, as far as he can; no +matter how widely you may differ from him in creed. + +The fact was that on understanding the nature of the duty Val expected +from them--and which the reader may perceive was not an official one, +most of them absolutely refused to come. M'Loughlin, they said, had +given extensive employment, and circulated large sums of money annually +in the neighborhood, and they did not see why an Absentee landlord, or +his Agent, should wish to throw so many hands out of employment, and to +ruin so many families. They wern't on duty now, which was a different +thing; but they had their own opinions on the subject--they knew Captain +Phil's conduct--and d--n them, if M'Loughlin was a Papish twenty times +over, if they'd lend a hand in any sense to carry away his furniture. +It was all well enough when they were drunk or on duty, but they weren't +drunk or on duty now. + +Three or four cars and carts were all that Val found at home on his +arrival there--a circumstance which, added to his recent disappointment +touching Deaker--from whom he had, in fact, to the last, cherished +secret expectations--inflamed his resentment against M'Loughlin almost +beyond all conception. + +On leaving Constitution Cottage for M'Loughlin's, he was not a little +surprised to see worthy Phil walking, backward, and forward on the lawn, +accompanied by no less a personage than our friend _Raymond-na-hattha_. + +“Ah,” said he to Phil, looking at him and Raymond, “there's a pair of +you.” + +“Never mind, old fellow,” said Phil with a grin, “you don't know what's +ahead--a pretty bit of goods; begad, father, Raymond's a jewel:--ah, you +don't know her, but I do--hip, hip, old cook.” + +“Phil,” said Val, “you have been at the brandy; I see it in your eye, +and I hear it in your speech.” + +“Well,” said Phil, “I have, and what then--that's the chat; who's +afraid, M'Clutchy?” + +“Phil, Phil,” said the father, “this won't do.” + +“I say it will do, and it must do,” returned the son--“but harkee, old +cock, is Deaker, the precious, d----d yet?” + +“If ever man was,” replied his father--“and not a penny to either of +us, Phil; not as much as would jingle on his own lying tombstone, and a +lying one it will be no doubt. Did you get the affidavits prepared?” + +“I did, but curse the rascals, I was obliged to make them drunk before +they would consent to swear them. The truth is, I put in a lot of stuff +out of my own head,” said Phil, “and they refused to swear to it until I +made them blind.” + +“You must have made devilish stretches when they refused,” said the +father, “where are they now?” + +“Locked up in the stable loft, fast asleep,” replied Phil, “and ready to +swear.” + +“It is well,” said Val, “that we have affidavits and information enough +for his arrest, independent of theirs. Go in, Phil, and keep yourself +steady--Easel must be my own concern, I see that; he shall be arrested +this day; I have everything prepared for it.” + +“Very well,” said Phil; “with all my heart--I have better game in view,” + and he knowingly rubbed his finger along his nose as he spoke. + +“If you were sober,” said Val, “I could have wished you to witness the +full glut of my vengeance upon M'Loughlin, inasmuch, my excellent son, +as it was on your account I received the insult, the injury--why, by +h----n, he trampled upon me!--that shall never be forgiven, but which +will this day, Phil, meet the vengeance that has been hoarded up +here--” and, as he spoke, he placed his hand upon his heart. “The +sheriff,” he added, “and his officers are there by this time--for I do +assure you, Phil, I will make short work of it. As for those ungrateful +scoundrels that refused to send their cars and carts, I know how to deal +with them; and yet, the rascals, as matters now stand between Hartley +and us, I can't afford to turn them out of the corps.” + +“Go ahead, I say,” replied Phil; “I have better game on hands than your +confounded corps, or your confounded popish M'Loughlins.” + +Raymond, who walked, _pari passu_, along with him, looked at him from +time to time and, as he did, it might be observed that his eyes flashed +actual fire--sometimes with an appearance of terrible indignation, and +sometimes with that of exultation and delight. + +Val now proceeded to execute his great mission of vengeance. As he went +along--his heart literally beat with a sense of Satanic triumph and +delight; his spirit became exhilarated, and all his faculties moved in a +wild tumult of delirious enjoyment. He was at best but a slow horseman, +but on this occasion he dashed onward with an unconscious speed that +was quite unusual to him. At length he reached M'Loughlin's, whither the +carts had been sent, immediately on his return from Deaker's. All there +seemed very quiet and orderly; the usual appearance of business and +bustle was not of course visible, for, thanks to his own malignant +ingenuity and implacable resentment, there were many families in the +neighborhood not only thrown out of employment, but in a state of actual +destitution. Having knocked at the hall door, it was instantly opened +by one of his own retainers, and without either preface or apology he +entered the parlor. There was none there but M'Loughlin himself, Gordon +Harvey, the excellent fellow of whom we have already spoken, and whom +M'Loughlin, in consequence of his manly and humane character, had +treated with kindness and respect--and Solomon M'Slime who had arrived +only a few minutes before him. + +“Gentlemen,” said M'Loughlin, “what have I done, that I am to thank +you both for your kindness in honoring a ruined man with this unusual +visit.” + +Val gave him a long, fixed and triumphant look,--such a look as a +savage gives his worst enemy, when he gets him beneath his knee, and +brandishes his war-knife, before plunging it in his throat. + +“Indeed, my good neighbor,” replied Solomon, seeing that Val did not +speak, “I believe it is a matter of conscience on the part of my friend +M'Clutchy here, who is about to exhibit towards you and your family +a just specimen of Christian retribution. In my view of the matter, +however, he is merely the instrument; for I am one, Mr. M'Loughlin, who +believe, that in whatever we do here, we are only working out purposes +that are shaped above.” + +“What! when we rob the poor, oppress the distressed, strive to blacken +the character of an innocent girl, or blast the credit of an industrious +man, and bring him and his to ruin? Do you mean to say, that the +scoundrel”--he looked at Val as he uttered the last word--“the scoundrel +who does this, and ten times more than this, is working out the purposes +of God? If you do, Sir” he continued, “carry your blasphemy elsewhere, +for I tell you that you shall not utter it under this roof.” + +“This roof,” said Val, “in two hours hence shall be no longer yours.” + +“I thought you pledged yourself solemnly that you would not take any +hasty steps, in consequence of my embarrassments,” said M'Loughlin; “but +you see that I understand your character thoroughly. You are still the +same treacherous and cowardly scoundrel that you ever were, and that +you ever will be.” + +“This roof,” replied Val, “in an hour or two shall be no longer yours. +You and yours shall be this night roofless, homeless, houseless. This, +Brian M'Loughlin, is the day of my vengeance and of my triumph. Out you +go, sir, without consideration, without pity, without mercy--aye, mercy, +for now you are at my mercy, and shall not find it.” + +“But my wife is ill of fever,” said M'Loughlin, “and surely you are at +all events an Irishman, and will not drag her from her sick bed--perhaps +her bed of death?” + +“That act of kindness to her would be kindness to you and your family, +Mr. M'Loughlin, and for that reason she shall go out, if she were +to expire on the moment. No; this is the day of my vengeance and my +triumph. Harvey,” he added, “tell Jack Stuart to come to me.” + +Harvey went out, and in a minute or two Stuart came in; a heavy-faced, +sullen-looking villain, who strongly resembled Val himself in character, +for he was equally cowardly and ferocious. Val met him in the hall-- + +“Stuart,” said he, “I have sent up three or four fellows--the two Boyds +and the two Carsons--to arrest a fellow named Easel--a Spy or something +of that kind--with orders to lodge him in goal; go up and tell them to +bring him here first. I have my reasons for it; he has taken an interest +in this M'Loughlin, and I wish him to witness his punishment.” + +“Hadn't you betther put the rascal in the stocks, or give an ordher for +it, till it's your honor's convenience to see him?” + +“No, no, desire them to bring him here immediately--go now, and do not +lose a moment.” + +On entering the parlor again, he rubbed his hands with perfect delight. + +“Ay,” said he, “this day, M'Loughlin, I have long looked for; this day, +this day, ha, ha, ha!” + +“M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “I always knew you were a bad and +black-hearted man; but that you were such a perfect devil I never knew +till now. What, to drag out my sick wife!” + +“Ha! ha! ha!” + +“Consider that her removal now will occasion her death.” + +“Ha! ha! ha!” + +“You will not do it; you could not do it. Would you kill her?” + +“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! M'Loughlin, this is the day of my vengeance, and my +triumph. Ha, ha, ha!” + +“Friend M'Clutchy,” said Solomon, “permit me for one moment to +remonstrate--” + +“Permit the devil, sir,” said Val, stamping on the floor with fury; +“remonstrate! Don't you know that I have this fellow safely in my +power?” + +“I do,” replied Solomon, “and my remonstrance would have been, had +you heard me, simply and humbly to suggest that you might do the +thing---this vengeance that you speak of--in an edifying manner--or, in +other words, in a mild and Christian spirit.” + +“Solomon, you are after all but a poor devil,” said Val; “a poor pitiful +scoundrel, that can't understand what full, deep-seated, and lasting +vengeance means. You are only fit to sneak, and peep, and skulk about +after a sly, prim, sweet-faced--but I am losing my breath to speak to +you. Gordon, is the inventory taken?” + +“It is, sir; Montgomery has it.” + +“That's well, here are the carts then--ay, and here comes the sheriff. +Now for business.” + +“So, then, you will proceed, Mr. M'Clutchy?” said M'Loughlin. + +“Proceed,” he replied, looking at him, as it were, with amazement; +“proceed--ha, ha, ha!” + +“Truly that is unchristian mirth,” observed Solomon; “I must say as +much--even although your cause be a just cause, and one supported by +the laws--by our blessed laws, that protect the rights of the tenant +and landlord with equal justice and impartiality; for it is a glorious +privilege to live under a constitution that protects the tenant from +the malignity and oppression of the landlord or his agents. It is that,” + said Solomon; “oh, it is that precious thing, indeed.” + +As he spoke the words there was a slight upraising of the eyes, together +with a side glance at M'Clutchy, which, though barely-perceptible, +contained as much sanctified venom as could well be expressed. He had +scarcely concluded, when the sheriff, having pulled up his gig, entered. + +Val, notwithstanding his excessive thirst for vengeance, could not +avoid feeling the deepest possible mortification since his arrival +at M'Loughlin's. There was observable in this honest fellow's bearing +something that vexed his oppressor sorely, and which consisted in a kind +of easy, imperturbable serenity, that no threat could disturb or ruffle. +Nay, there appeared a kind of lurking good-humored defiance in his eye, +which, joined to the irony of his manner, aggravated the resentment of +M'Clutchy to the highest pitch. + +“This is an unpleasant visit, Mr. Graham,” said M'Loughlin, when that +official entered; “but it can't be helped.” + +“It is unpleasant to both of us, I assure you,” replied the sheriff; “on +my part, of course, you know it is an act of duty, and, indeed, a very +painful one, Mr. M'Loughlin.” + +“I have experienced your civility, sir, before now,” returned +M'Loughlin, “thanks to my friends,” and he eyed M'Clutchy; “and I know +you to be incapable of an un-gentlemanly act. But you must feel it +a distressing thing to be made, in the discharge of that duty, the +unwilling instrument of oppression on the unfortunate.” + +“It is quite true,” said the sheriff, “and the case you speak of too +frequently happens, as I have reason to know.” + +“Pray, what are those carts for, Mr. M'Clutchy?” asked M'Loughlin. + +“To remove your furniture, sir, and all your other movable property off +the premises. I act in this matter by the authority of the law, and Lord +Cumber's instructions.” + +“Dear me,” said M'Loughlin, coolly, “why, you are very harsh, Mr. +M'Clutchy; you might show a little forbearance, my good neighbor. Upon +what authority, though, do you remove the furniture? because I did +believe that the tenant was usually allowed fourteen days to pay up, +before the process of an auction, and even that, you know, must take +place on the premises, and not of them.” + +“There has been an affidavit made, that you intend to remove suddenly, +that is, to make what is called a moonlight flitting, Mr. M'Loughlin, +and upon that affidavit I proceed. As I said, I have the law with me, my +good neighbor.” + +“Pray where did you pick up the honest man who was able to swear to my +intentions? he surely must be a clever fellow that can make affidavit as +to another man's thoughts--eh, Mr. M'Clutchy?” + +Val's glances at the man, from time to time, were baleful; but, with +his usual tact and plausibility, he restrained his temper before the +sheriff, lest that gentleman might imagine that he had acted from any +other principle than a sense of duty. + +Harvey, who heard M'Clutchy's determination with deep regret, now +happening to look out of the window, observed a group of persons +approaching--one of the said group hard and fast in the grip of two of +Val's constables; whilst, at the same time, it was quite evident, that +despite the ignominy of the arrest, mirth was the predominant feeling +among them, excepting only the constables. On approaching the house, +they were soon known, and Val, to his manifest delight, recognized Mr. +Easel as a prisoner, accompanied by Messrs. Hickman and Hartley, both of +whom seemed to enjoy Easel's position between the two constables, as a +very excellent subject for mirth. + +“Mr. M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “whether is it you or I that is about +to hold a little levee in my humble parlor to-day? But I suppose I need +not ask. Consider yourself at home here, my good neighbor--you are now +up, and I am down; so we must only allow you to have your way.” + +Just then the parlor door once more opened, and the party already +alluded to entered. Very distant and very polite were the salutations +that passed from M'Clutchy to the party in question, which the party in +question received, on the other hand, with a degree of good humor and +cordiality that surprised and astounded our agent, Val, to tell the +truth, felt rather queer; for, on comparing M'Loughlin's nonchalance +with the significant good humor of the new comers, he was too shrewd not +to feel that there was a bit of mystery somewhere, but in what quarter +he could not possibly guess.” + +“Gentlemen,” said he, falling back upon his humanity, “the duties of an +Agent are often painful, but still they must be discharged. Lord +Cumber, I must confess, has not been well advised, to force me to +these proceedings. Mr. M'Loughlin, I acknowledge I lost temper a while +ago--but the fact really is, that I proceed in this matter with great +reluctance, notwithstanding what I said. Here, however,” he added, +turning to Easel, “is a horse of a different color.” + +On speaking, he put his hand into his pocket, and pulling out the _Hue +and Cry_ of a certain date, read a description, and, as he advanced, he +turned his eyes with singular sagacity and satisfaction upon the person +and features of poor Easel. + +“Browbeater was right,” said he; “you are here at full length in +the _Hue and Cry_--middle size--of rather plausible carriage--brown +hair--hazel eyes--and a very knowing look--the upper lip a good deal +curled; which I see is the case; known to be in the possession of more +money that ought to belong to a person in your condition--and lastly, +before you came here you were hawking high treason in the King's County, +in the character of a ballad-singer and vagabond. You have expended +sums of money among the poor of this neighborhood, with no good intention +towards the government; and the consequence is that Whiteboyism has +increased rapidly since you came amongst us.” + +“But on what authority do you arrest me now?” + +“I might arrest you at any time on suspicion; but here are affidavits, +in which it is sworn that you are believed to be a popish spy and +treasonable agent; and besides I have instructions from the Castle to +take you.” + +“But what am I to do?” asked Easel,--“I am a stranger, and known here by +nobody, This, certainly, is not a very Irish reception, I must say, nor +is it very creditable to the hospitality of the country. You were civil +enough to me when you expected me to become an Orangeman.” + +“Ah,” replied Val, “that's a proof of your ability; you overreached me +then, which is what few could have done. No--none but a master-hand like +you could do it. Mr. M'Loughlin,” he proceeded, “would you allow me a +separate room for a few minutes? I am anxious to put some questions to +this mischievous vagabond, privately.” + +“With all my heart,” replied the other; “go into the dining-room.” + +“Now, you scoundrel,” said Val, “that you may labor under no mistake, +I think it fair to tell you that Browbeater and I know everything about +you, and all the Protean shapes you have gone through for the last three +years, in different parts of the kingdom Now listen to me, you d----d +impostor; listen to me, I say--you have it in your power to become a +useful man to the present government. They have revived the Spy system, +and there is no doubt, from your acquaintance with the designs and +proceedings of Whiteboyism, and of Popery in general, that you can +afford very important information on the subject; if you can, your bread +is baked for life. You know not the large, the incredible large staff of +Spies that we have at work, and believe me, when I tell you that if you +make the proper disclosures to me I shall recommend you in the strongest +terms to Browbeater, who will have you placed high upon the list of +informers--a respectable class of men, let me tell you, and extremely +useful--so that you will be well and liberally paid for your treachery, +I mean that treachery which has _amor patriae_ to justify it. We +will not attempt to control your genius in any way; you can take to +ballad-singing again, if you like, or any other patriotic line of +serving the government which you choose. Having premised me this much, +allow me now to ask you your real name.” + +“For the present I must decline answering that question.” + +“Very proper--I see you know your business: and it is not my wish that +you should say anything to criminate yourself--certainly not. But in the +meantime, that you may see I am not at all in the dark, I tell you that +your name is Larry O'Trap, a decent journeyman carpenter by trade, but +as much a painter as I am a parson.” + +“I won't submit to a private examination,” replied Easel; “examine me +publicly--that is, before the gentlemen in the next room, and I will +answer you to better purpose, perhaps; but I hate this hole and corner +work.” + +“You will give no information, then?” + +“I don't exactly say that--it is probable I may.” + +“Think of it, then,” said Val, “and let me tell you, there is little +time to be lost. I shall speak to you once again before I commit +you--that is, after I shall have punished this villain M'Loughlin, +whom I hate as I hate hell; and mark me, you scoundrel, and reflect on +this,--I am a man who never yet forgave an injury; therefore don't make +me your enemy. This M'Loughlin insulted me some years ago in Castle +Cumber, and it is that insult that I am this day revenging upon his +head--so think of my words.” + +“I shall think of them; I shall never forget them.” + +“Keep this fellow in close custody,” said Val to the constables, as +they re-entered the parlor--“until the business of the day is over. Mr. +Sheriff, it is time now that you should do your duty.” + +“I countermand that order,” said Easel. “You see, Mr. M'Clutchy,” said +the sheriff, smiling, “that here is a countermand.” + +“Here is your rent in full, Mr. M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “and lest +notes might not prove satisfactory, as they never do to you, there it is +in gold. You will find it right.” + +“Well, really I am glad of this,” said Val, “it would have been painful +to me to have gone to extremities. Still there is the Ejectment to take +place, as the leases have expired: but that, my good neighbor, will +be merely a form. Of course you will be permitted to go in again as +caretakers; but in the meantime we must get the furniture out, and +receive possession in the proper way. I was angry, Mr. M'Loughlin, a +while ago, as I said and spoke hastily--for indeed I am rather warm when +promoting Lord Cumber's interests; God forgive him in the meantime, for +the disagreeable duties he too frequently put to me--duties for which I +am certain to incur the censure.” + +“I countermand the order,” repeated Easel, with a singular smile on his +face; “and desire you, Mr. M'Loughlin, to withhold your rent.” + +“You!” exclaimed Val, looking at him. “Yes!” he replied, walking over, +and looking him sternly in the face. + +“If it were worth while to ask your name I would--but I believe I know +it already.” + +“Perhaps not.” + +“Well, perhaps not; and pray what may it be?” + +“I will tell you, sir,” replied Hartley. “This gentleman is--” + +“Larry O'Trap, a Spy and Whiteboy Agent,” said Val, looking into the +Hue and Cry, and again surveying Easel. “He is imposing on you, Mr. +Hartley.” + +“This gentleman, sir,” proceeded Hartley, “is the Honorable Richard +Topertoe, brother to the Right Honorable Lord Cumber--” + +“And who has the honor to present you with this communication from that +nobleman,” said Mr. Topertoe, “which contains your Dismissal from his +Agency; and this to you, Mr. M'Slime, which also contains your Dismissal +as his Law Agent. The authority of each of you from this moment ceases; +and yours, my sterling, excellent, and honorable friend, from this +moment recommences,” said he, turning to Mr. Hickman. “This letter +contains your re-appointment to the situation which you so honorably +scorned to hold, when you found it necessary, as his Agent, to oppress +the people. Will you be good enough, Mr. M'Loughlin, to call in Mr. +Harman and those other people? You shall not be left in the dark, sir,” + he proceeded, “as to the extent of our knowledge of your dishonesty, +treachery, and persecution.” + +“Truly, my friend M'Clutchy, it is our duty now to act a Christian part +here. This dispensation may be ultimately for our good, if we receive it +in a proper spirit. May He grant it!” + +M'Clutchy's face became the color of lead on perusing his dismissal, +which was brief, stern, and peremptory--or as the phrase goes--short, +sharp, and decisive. It was written by Lord Cumber's own hand, and to +give it all due authenticity, had his seal formally attached at the +bottom. Harman now entered, accompanied by Darby, Poll Doolin, and a +number of those persons among the tenantry, whom M'Clutchy had robbed +and persecuted. On looking at them, after having twice perused the +letter of dismissal, his hands and knees trembled as if he were about to +fall, and on attempting to fold the letter, it was visible to all that +he could scarcely accomplish it. + +“Now,” proceeded Mr. Topertoe, “I may as well inform you that I have +made myself thoroughly and most intimately acquainted with your conduct +in all its revolting phases; I have read and transmitted to my brother +two letters which passed between you and this pious gentleman, Mr. +M'Slime, here, upon the subject of Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman's +property--than which, nothing more flagitious could--in the way of +business, or in the performance of any public duty--enter the heart of +man. Just Heaven! a poor creature, perhaps prompted by the cravings of +hunger, will steal some paltry matter, not worth half a crown--perhaps +a pocket-handkerchief--and forthwith out comes justice, oh, not Justice, +but Law in her stead, with sword in hand, and scales most iniquitously +balanced; and, lo! the unfortunate wretch is immediately dragged to a +prison, and transported for life to a penal colony; whilst at the same +time, rapacious villains like you, will plunder by wholesale--will wring +the hearts of the poor, first by your tyranny, and afterwards rob them +in their very destitution. The unhappy, struggling widow, without a +husband to defend her, you would oppress, because she is helpless, and +your scoundrel son would corrupt her, were she not virtuous. You would +intoxicate an aged man that he might, in the unguarded moments of +inebriety, surrender a valuable lease into your keeping. You would +not receive your rents, except in gold, or which you made the wretched +people pay, ruinous, murderous premium, by selling it but to them from +day to day. You--in fact have now neither time nor patience to enumerate +your monstrous corruptions and robberies, although I know them all, +as you shall find ere long. There is one act, however, so refined +in diabolical depravity, so deeply narked by a spirit of cowardice, +revenge, and cruelty, that I might almost question whether, in the lowest +depths of hell itself, anything so damnably black and satanic could +originate--I allude to the plan which you conceived and got executed by +your heartless, cowardly son, aided by that old woman who stands therein +your presence, for ruining the stainless reputation of Mr. M'Loughlin's +only daughter.” + +“I can prove that,” said Poll, “and here I am ready and willing to do +so.” + +“In this, however, thank God, you have failed,” he continued, “yes, in +this, and every other act of your villainy you have been detected, and +shall be exposed and punished before the proper tribunal. It is you, +sir, and such scourges of the poor and industrious classes as you, who +goad the unhappy, the destitute, and despairing people into crimes that +are disgraceful to the country; it is you, and such as you, who force +them, maddened by your cruelty and oppression, to fall back upon +revenge, when they cannot find redress or justice in the laws of the +land. Unhappily the whole kingdom is studded too thickly with such men, +and until property in this unfortunate country is placed upon an equal +footing between landlord and tenant--until the rights and privileges of +him who farms and cultivates the soil, are as well protected and secured +by law as are those of the other party, so long will there be bloodshed +and crime. The murderer is justly abhorred, apprehended, and punished as +he ought in the sight of God and man to be: but is there no law to reach +unprincipled wretches like you, whose grinding rapacity, dishonesty, and +inhumanity, furnish him with the motives and incentives to the crime +he commits? As for you, gentlemen, and honest men as you are,” he +proceeded, addressing M'Loughlin and Harman. “you remain, of course, +in your farms; you shall have reasonable and fair leases, and, what is +more, your credit shall be re-established on as firm a footing as ever. +You shall be enabled to resume your business on an ample scale, and that +as sure as I am master of two hundred thousand pounds. And now, O'Drive, +a word with you:--I have fully discovered your treachery to both +M'Clutchy and M'Slime; you were a willing agent in carrying out their +hard and heartless excesses. You were, in truth, a thorough bailiff, +without conscience, feeling, or remorse. In no instance have you ever +been known to plead for, or take the part of a poor man; so far from +that, I find that you have invited and solicited their confidence, +only--in case they did not satisfy your petty extortions--that you might +betray them to your relentless employer, whilst, under all possible +circumstances you fleeced them by threats, and acted the vampire on a +small scale. You are no longer a bailiff on this estate, and I have the +further satisfaction to assure you, that in consequence of a private +interview I had with the new bishop, the Right Rev. Dr. Lucre, +concerning your appointment to the situation of under goaler at Castle +Cumber, I have succeeded in getting it cancelled; so that you are at +liberty to carry your low knavery to the best market you can get for it. +In all this, I am authorized by my brother, who, I trust, will soon see +the erroneous notions which he entertains upon the subject of property, +and his duties as landlord. You, my dear friend, Mr. Hickman--my +friend, I say with pride, and the friend of the poor with still greater +pride--you will have the goodness to receive from Mr. M'Clutchy and +M'Slime all books and documents pertaining,to the estate, that are in +their possession.” + +“Well, be my sowl,” said Darby, who was the first to break the silence +that followed these observations; “if you were Lord Cumber himself, +instead of his brother, I'd call that same tratement of me as purty a +piece of ingratitude as ever came acrass me;--me that gave you most of +the information--that sould them both, I may say--an' the letthers too +that convicted them, are they forgotten?” + +“There is your friend and kindred spirit, Mr. M'Clutchy,” replied Mr. +Topertoe, “who, only that he never forgives an injury, might get you a +secret appointment among the Castle Spies and Informers, with whom, +or rather it would appear, with the gentleman who drills them, he has +considerable influence. It is for such a respectable corps that your +talents are best adapted.” + +“Of a truth,” said Solomon, “this is a turning of the tables, to use a +somewhat vulgar adage. As for me, I know it is good to be purified in +the furnace, and scourged with many stripes, as it is a fresh proof that +I am cared for.” + +Up until this moment M'Clutchy had not uttered a single syllable, but, +as we have said, he trembled very much, his temples throbbed, and his +brow fell. The squint in his left eye became deeper and more guilt-like. +The revulsion of feeling, coming upon him so unexpectedly as it did, was +dreadful, and the tumult within him quite beyond the power of language +to describe. + +He merely said, and this with parched lips and slow enunciation-- + +“Very well, Mr. Topertoe; your wishes touching the giving up of all +documents connected with the property shall be duly complied with, as +far as I am concerned. That, is all I choose to say just now.” + +“And so far as I am concerned,” said Solomon, “I can say that mine +also shall be rendered up with rejoicing--with rejoicing that I have no +further intercourse with a profligate and most unchristian landlord. +I feel that in this thing I have cause to be rather thankful than +otherwise.” + +“Now, M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “I could overlook all your dishonesty +and treacherous misrepresentation of me to Lord Cumber--your attempt +to oust us out of our farms, and to put your son and M'Slime in our +places--your suppressing the fact, besides that we offered a thousand +pounds apiece for a renewal--your whispering away our commercial +reputation, and thereby bringing us in the end to ruin--all that, I say, +I could overlook and forgive; but for your foul and cowardly attempt to +destroy the fair fame of our spotless child--for that, sir, in which, +thank heaven, you failed, I now say, I trust, with honest pride, +and tell you face to face--if you had only the manliness to look in +mine--that I feel this to be the hour of my triumph--but not of my +vengeance, for I trust I am a Christian man.” + +“As for me, M'Olutchy,” said Harman, “really, on looking over your whole +conduct--into which there comes not one single virtue belonging to our +better nature--I am so filled with indignation, and a perception of the +baseness and blackness of your heart and character, your revenge, your +perfidy, and above all, your cowardice, that I can feel nothing for +you but a loathing and abhorrence that really sicken me when I think of +you.” + +“What could you expect,” observed Poll Doolin, “from the son of Kate +Clank and villainous ould Deaker?” + +M'Clutchy never raised his eye, but taking up his hat, he and Solomon, +followed soon after by Darby, took their departure in silence; Solomon +occasionally shrugging his shoulders and throwing up his eyes, like a +persecuted man. + +“There is now no further use for preserving my incognito,” observed Mr. +Topertoe, “and as you, Mr. Sheriff, have had your journey for nothing, I +shall feel obliged if you will join these gentlemen at the Castle Cumber +Arms to dinner, where we can have an opportunity of talking these and +other matters over more at our leisure.” + +“Do not expect me, sir,” said Hartley, who felt that the delicacy of his +position with regard to Lord Cumber, rendered it altogether impossible +that he could be the guest of a man with whose brother he was likely +soon to fight a duel. + +“Well,” replied Topertoe, “if you cannot come I shall regret it.” + +“It is really out of my power, I assure you,” replied Hartley, as he +bade him fare-Well. + +The sheriff accepted the invitation; and after shaking hands with, and +congratulating Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman, also took his leave. He +had scarcely gone, when a magnificent carriage and four dashed up to +the door, in which Topertoe, accompanied by Hickman, took his seat, and +again drove off towards. Castle Cumber, where the said carriage only had +arrived that morning from, the metropolis. + +Darby was certainly confounded by the unwelcome intelligence respecting +the loss of the Gaolership, which was conveyed to him in such an +unpleasant manner by Mr. Topertoe. He knew his own powers of wheedling, +however, too well, to despair of being able, could he see Lucre, to +replace himself as firmly as ever in his good opinion. With this purpose +in view, he wended his way to the Glebe House, where he understood the +newly made bishop yet was, having made arrangements to proceed the next +morning to Dublin, in order to be consecrated. There was, therefore, no +time to be lost, and he accordingly resolved to effect an interview +if he could. On arriving, the servant, who was ignorant of the change +against him which had been produced in his master's sentiments, +instantly admitted him; and the bishop, who had expected a present +of game from his neighbor, Lord Mountmortgage, desired him to be +admitted--the servant having only intimated that the man was come.” + +“How is this?” said the Prelate in a loud and angry voice; “how did you +get in, sir?” + +“Plaise your Lordship,” replied Darby, “I came in by the door, of +course--an' that, your Lordship, is generally the right way; for as +holy Scripture says,” he proceeded, anxious to let his Lordship see how +deeply he was imbued with Scriptural truth--“as holy Scripture says, +'Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that entereth not by the door into +the sheep-fold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief +and a robber,' Indeed, my Lord, I never knewn the consolation that's in +Scripture antil lately, glory be to God!” + +The bishop looked at him with an angry and scrutinizing eye; for Darby's +deportment, to say truth, puzzled him very much. Whether his conduct +proceeded from audacity, or shear simplicity, he felt unable to +determine, from anything that he could see in Darby's imperturbable +features. + +“What is your business with me now? asked the prelate. + +“Why, your Lordship,” replied Darby, “I've made out a couple of +proserlytes, that will be a credit to our blessed Establishment, as soon +as they're convarted. One of them, my Lord, is called Barney Butther, +an' the other Tom Whiskey, in regard of--” + +“Go about your business, sir,” replied the prelate, reddening with +indignation; “begone.” + +“I will, my Lord; only, my Lord, just before I go--about the Undher +Gaolership?” + +“Your appointment to it is cancelled,” replied the other, “for many +reasons; you avoided prosecuting that wild priest.” + +“But sure I said, my Lord, that when I'd get into my situation--” + +“Your appointment to it is cancelled, I repeat; the fact is, O'Drive, I +have too much regard for your morals and the advances you have recently +made in scriptural knowledge to place you in such a situation. It is +only some hardened sinner, some irreclaimable knave, and not an honest +man like you, that oughht to be appointed to such an office; the nature +of its duties would only draw you into bad habits and corrupt your +principles. The fact is, your very virtues and good qualities; prevent +you from getting it--for get it, you assuredly shall not.” + +“Is that your last detarmination, my Lord?” + +“My last respecting that matter,” replied the prelate. + +“Then, upon my conscience,” returned Darby, “according to that rule, +hell resave the ha'porth of the kind there was to prevent you from bein' +a bishop. I hear you're goin' up to Dublin to be consecrated, and be me +sowl, you want it; but I'd take my book oath that all the grace in your +church won't be able to consecrate you into thrue religion. The back o' +my hand to you, I say; for I hate everything that is ungrateful.” + +It often happens that a petty insult, coming from an unexpected source, +excites our indignation more than an offence from a higher quarter. The +new made prelate actually got black in the face, and giddy in the +head, with the furious fit of passion which seized him on hearing this +language from Darby. + +In the meantime, we leave him to cool as best he can, and follow Darby +to Castle Cumber, where he thought it probable he might meet Father +M'Cabe; nor was he mistaken. He found that very zealous gentleman +superintending the erection of a new chapel on a site given to Father +Roche by Mr Hartley. The priest, who knew that the other had recently +avoided him, felt considerably surprised at seeing the bailiff approach +him of his own free will. + +“Well,” said he, in a voice which contained equal parts of irony and +anger, “what do you want with me, Mr. Protestant? Ah, what a blessed +Protestant you are! and what a hawl they made when they caught you! What +do you want, you shuffling scoundrel?” + +“Troth, the grace o' God, I fear,” replied Darby, humbly. + +“And what brings you to me then? I mean, sirra, what's your business +now?” + +“Why, sir, devil a one o' me but's come jack to the ould creed. Troth, +your Reverence, the impressions you made on me the day we had the great +argument, was, wondherful. Be my sowl, it's yourself that can send +home the whi--word, your Rev-a-ence, in a way that it won't aisly be +forgotten. How-an-iver, sure hell resave the wie o me, but threwn back +his dirty religion to Lucre--an' left him an' it--although he offered, +if I'd remain wid them, to put Johnny Short out, and make me full +gaoler. My Lord,' says I, 'thruth's best. I've heard both sides o' +the argument from you and Father M'Cabe; an' be me sowl, if you were +a bishop ten times over, you couldn't hould a candle to him at arguin' +Scripture; neither are you the mild and forgiving Christian that he is. +Sure I know your church well,' says I up to him. 'It's a fat church, no +doubt; an' I'll tell you what's in it.'” + +“'What's that, you backslidin' vagabone?'” says he. + +“'Why, then, plenty of mait,' says I, 'but no salvation;' an' salvation +to me, your Reverence, but he got black over the whole face and shullers +wid rank passion. But sure--would your Reverence come a little more this +way; I think the men's listenin' to us--but sure,” continued Darby, in a +low, wheedling, confidential, and friendly voice, “sure, sir, he wanted +me to prosecute you for the religious instruction--for trath it was +nothing else, glory be to God--that you gave me the day of the argument; +an'---now listen, your Reverence--he offered me a bribe if I'd do it.” + +“What bribe!” + +“Why, sir, he put his hand, under his apron--sure he has a black silk +apron on him now, jist for all the world like a big man cook, dressed +out in murnin'--he put his hand undher his apron, and wid a hitch got it +into his breeches pocket--'here's a fifty pound note for you,' says he, +'if you'll prosecute that wild priest--there's no end to his larnin,' +says he, 'and I want to punish him for it; so, Darby, here's a fifty +pound note, an' it'll be yours when the prosecution's over; and I'll +bear all the expenses besides.'” + +“And what did you say to that?” asked the priest. + +“Troth,” replied Darby, “I jist bid him considher his fifty pound note +as waste paper--an' that Was my answer.” + +“And there's mine, you lying, hypocritical scoundrel,” said the priest, +laying his whip across the worthy bailiff's shoulders; “you have been +for thirty years in the parish, and no human being ever knew you to go +to your duty--you have been a scourge on the poor---you have maligned +and betrayed those who placed confidence in you--and the truth is, not +a word ever comes out of your lips can be believed or trusted; when you +have the marks of repentance and truth about you, I may listen to you, +but not until then--begone!” + +“Is that your last detarmination?” said Darby. + +“No doubt of it,” replied the priest; “my last, and I'll stick to it +till I see you a different scoundrel from what you are.” + +“Ay,” replied Darby; “then, upon my sowl, you're all of a kidney--all +jack fellow like--an' divil rasave the dacent creed among you, barrin' +the Quakers, and may heaven have a hand in me, but I think I was born +to be a Quaker, or, any way, a Methodist. I wish to God I understood +praichin'--at aitin' the bacon and fowl I am as good a Methodist as any +of them--but, be me sowl, as I don't understand praichin', I'll stick to +the Quakers, for when a man praiches there, all he has to do is to say +nothing.” Having uttered these sentiments in a kind of soliloquy, +Darby, after having given the priest a very significant look, took his +departure. + +“Well,” said he to himself, “if the Quakers, bad luck to them, won't +take me, I know what I'll do--upon my conscience, I'll set up a new +religion for myself, and sure I have as good a right to bring out a +new religion myself, as many that done so. Who knows but I may have a +congregation of my own yet, and troth it may aisily be as respectable +as some o' them. But sure I can't be at a loss, for, plaise God, if all +fails, I can go to Oxford, where I'm tould there's a manifactory of new +religions--the Lord be praised for it!” + + * Darby had better success in his speculations than perhaps + he ever expected to have. We need not inform the generality + of our readers that the sect called Darbyites were founded + by him, and have been called after him to the present day, + sometimes Darbyites, and sometimes Drivers. + +On returning home, Val was observed to be silent and morose. The dashing +speed of his ride to M'Loughlin's was not usual to him, for his motions +were generally slow; it was significant, however, of the greedy spirit +which stimulated him to the long wished for glut of his revenge. Not +so his return. He walked his horse as if he had been a philosopher on +horseback; and when Phil (now quite tipsy), who expected to see him +return with all the savage triumph of vengeance in his looks, saw +that he was dumb, spiritless and absolutely crestfallen, and who also +observed the symptoms we spoke of, he began naturally enough to suspect +that something had gone wrong. His interrogations, however, were +fruitless. Val, on his inquiring the cause of these appearances, told +him in a petulant fit of that ill-temper which is pecular to cowards, +“to go be hanged;” a compliment which dutiful Phil returned to his +worthy father with interest. This was all that passed between them, with +the single exception of an observation which fell from Phil's lips as he +left the dinner-table, late in the evening. + +“I tell you what, M'Clutchy, you're a confounded ill-tempered old +scoundrel, an-and what-what's more--o-o-over to your disgrace, a d----d +bad, rotten, and unsound Protestant. How do you ex-expect, sir, that a +Protestant Establishment can be sup-support-ported in this country by +such scandalous con-conduct as this? hip, hip, hurra! Instead of-of +being an ex-example to your son, it is your-your son, M'Clutchy, that is +an example to you, hip, hip, hur--, and so good night to you, I'm--I'm +on for a neat bit of business--that's all. Go to bed, you old dog.” + + + + +CHAPTER XXX.--The Mountain Grave-Yard + +--Dreams of a Broken Heart--The Christian Pastor at his Duty--Melancholy +Meeting between a Mother and her Son--A Death-Bed that the Great +might envy--Phil experiences a Specimen of the Pressure from +without--Retribution--The Death of Valentine M'Clutchy. + + +It was now about seven o'clock in the evening; and up from the moment +of Val's return, he had scarcely spoken half a dozen words. As Phil was +leaving the room, however, the father called after him:-- + +“Phil,” said he, “come here for a minute.” + +“Well,” said Phil, staggering back, “what's in the wind now?” + +“Phil,” continued the father, “which of all the blood-hounds is the +greatest and most remorseless villain?” + +“A d----d ni-nice point to decide, when they're on-on duty,” replied +Phil. + +“If he escapes me--” said Val in a soliloquy;--“but no matter,” he +added, speaking aloud; “I'm a fool for putting such a question to you. +Go to bed, and sleep yourself sober.” + +Phil staggered out of the room in a very musical mood, slamming' the +door after him with a force that made the house shake. He had not gone a +hundred yards from the hall door when Raymond appeared in the distance, +beckoning him forward; a signal for which he was looking out with that +kind of drunken eagerness which is incapable of forethought, or any +calculation whatsoever that might aid in checking the gross and onward +impulses of blind and savage appetite. Phil's instinctive cowardice, +however, did not abandon him. In the course of the day he primed +and loaded his pistols, in order to be prepared against any of those +contingencies which the fears of pusillanimous men never fail to create. +On meeting with Raymond, who had been waiting for him outside, at a +place previously agreed on between them, he pulled, out the fire-arms, +and showed them to the fool, with a swaggering air, which, despite his +intoxication, sorely belied what he felt. They then proceeded together +by the mountain path, the moon occasionally showing herself by +glimpses--for the night, although cloudy, was not dark, but on the +contrary, when the clouds passed away, she almost might be said to flash +out with singular brilliancy. + +We now leave them on their way to the place of appointment, as it had +been arranged by Raymond, and beg our readers to accompany us to the +church-yard in the mountains, where all that were dear and so devotedly +beloved by poor Mary O'Regan slept. This unhappy woman, though closely +watched by her friends and neighbors, always contrived, with the +ingenuity peculiar to maniacs and insane persons, to escape from time to +time from under their surveillance, and make her way to the spot, which, +despite the aberrations of reason and intellect, maintained all its +sacred and most tender influences over her pure and noble heart. For +some time past, moved probably by some unconscious impression of the +pastoral attention and kindness of the amiable Father Roche, she had +made his house her home; and indeed nothing could exceed the assiduity +and care with which she was there watched and tended. Everything that +could be done for her was done; but all sympathy and humanity on their +part came too late. Week after week her strength wasted away, in a +manner that was painfully perceptible to those who felt an interest in +her. Her son Ned was still in the country, but had no fixed residence, +and merely remained for the purpose of seeing her freed from all her +miseries, and laid in her last unbroken sleep beside those whom she had +loved so well. On the evening in question, she appeared to be so feeble +and exhausted, that the good priest's family did not for a moment +imagine that any particular vigilance was necessary. Between six and +seven o'clock, then, she had performed the last of those pilgrimages +of the heart which time after time had been made by her to the solitary +church-yard in the mountains--containing, as it did, the only humble +shrine from which her bruised and broken spirit could draw that ideal +happiness, of which God in His mercy had not bereft her. + +On arriving at the old ruin, she felt so completely enfeebled, that a +little rest was absolutely necessary previous to her reaching the graves +she came to visit, although they were only a few yards distant from +the spot which afforded the poor creature the requisite shelter while +recruiting her exhausted powers. At length she arose, and having +tottered over to the graves, she sat down, and clasping her hands about +her knees, she rocked her body to and fro, as Irish women do when under +the influence of strong grief. She then chaunted a verse or two of an +old song, whose melancholy notes were not out of keeping with either the +scene or the hour; nor an unsuitable burthen for the wild night breeze +which wailed through the adjoining ruins in tones that might almost +be supposed to proceed from the spirit of death itself, as it kept its +lonely watch over those who lay beneath. + +“I wonder,” said she, “that they do not speak to me before this, +for they know I'm here. Ah,” she proceeded, “there's his voice!--my +white-haired Brian's voice! what is it, 'darling? I'm listenin'! + +“'Come, mother, come,' he says, 'we are waitin'!' + +“Is it for me, _a lanna dhas oge_? + +“'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother dear, for you!' + +“Well, Brian darlin', I'll come. + +“'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are wait-in'!' + +“And,” she proceeded, “who is this again? ah, sure I needn't ax; Torley, +my heart, I'm here! + +“'Come, mother dear,' he says, 'for we are waitin'!' + +“Is it for me, my manly son? + +“'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother--mother dear, for you?' + +“Well, Torley darlin', I'll come. + +“'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are waitin'?' + +“Ah,” she proceeded, “here is my own Hugh, my brave husband, that I +fought for, what does he say? Whisht! + +“'Come, Mary dear--come, the distracted, the lovin,' but the +heart-broken--come to us, my fair-haired Mary, for we are waitin'; our +hearts love you even 'in heaven, and long for you to be with us.' + +“Husband of my heart, I will come; and here sure I feel as you all do +in heaven--for there is one thing that nothing can kill, and will never +die, that is the light that's in a lovin' wife's heart--the light that +shines in a mother's love--Hugh, _asthore machree_, I'll come, for sure +I'm jist ready. + +“You are not sick now, Brian,” she proceeded; “it isn't the cowld +pratee, and the black sickenin' bog water you have there! + +“'No, mother dear,' he said, 'but we want you; oh, don't stay away from +us, for our hearts long for you.' + +“I will come, avillish--sure I'm jist ready. Torley,” she proceeded, +sustaining a dialogue that proceeded, as it were, out of the accumulated +affection of a heart whose tenderness shed its light where that of +reason failed,--“Torley, my manly son, your young cheek is not pale +now, nor your eye dim--you don't fear the hard-hearted. Agent, nor his +bloodhounds, nor the cowld and bitther storm that beat upon your poor +head, an' you dyin'--you don't fear them now, my brave boy--you neither +feel nor fear any of these things now, Torley, my son! + +“'No mother,' he says 'all we want now is to have you wid us. Our hearts +long for you, and why do you stay away from us?--Oh! come mother dear, +for we're waitin'!' + +“Torley, my manly son, I'll come, for I'm jist ready. + +“Hugh, husband of my heart, you're not now lyin' sick upon the damp +cowld straw, as you war in the cabin on the mountains--your head has no +pain now, avick machree--nor is your heart low and sorrowful wid your +own illness and our want.--The voices of the Dashers, or Blood-hounds, +aren't now in your ears, nor need you be afraid that they will disturb +your bed of death--an' distract your poor sowl wid their blasphemin', +when you ought to think of God's mercy.--Oh! no, avillish, sure you feel +none of that now, Hugh dear? + +“'Oh, no,' he says, 'nothing of that do we feel now--nothing of that do +we fear. But, come, Mary, oh, come, come to us--and we think the time +long till we see you again.'” + +These affecting dialogues, or rather “dreams of a broken heart,” were +literally nothing else than the mere echoes of her own afliction; for +it was obvious that the love she felt for her husband and children, +unconscious as she then was of it, gave form to the sentiments which +her excited imagination had clothed in language that was so highly +figurative. For some time she was silent, or muttered to herself such +fragments of unconnected language as rose to her fancy--and ultimately +laid down her head upon the little grassy mound which constituted their +graves. Here she had not lain long, when, overcome by the fatigue of +the journey, she closed her eyes, and despite the chilliness of a biting +night, sank into an unbroken slumber. + +Sleep on, poor sufferer--and let those whose crimes have placed thy +distracted head upon that cold and unnatural pillow, reflect that they +have a judge to meet, who will, in another life, not overlook the deeds +done in this. Who is there who would, even in this thy most pitiable +destitution, exchange thy innocent, but suffering spirit, for +M'Clutchy's heart, or the dark crimes which it festers. + +At length she awoke, but whether it was that the keen and piercing air +had cooled the pulsation of her beating brain, or that the restoration +to reason, which is called, when applied to the insane--a lightening +before death--had taken place, it is impossible to say with anything +like certainty. At all events, on awakening, the first sensations she +experienced were those of surprise and wonder, and immediately did she +feel her mind filled with a train of shocking and fearful reminiscences. +Her physical sufferings were also great. She felt benumbed and chilled; +her heart was cold, and a shivering sickness ran through her whole +frame, with a deadly presage of approaching dissolution. She looked up +to the sky, then round her at the graves, and in a moment recognized the +burying-place of her husband and children. All the circumstances then +connected with the Extermination scene at Drum Dim, and that of the +treble death in the mountains, rushed upon her recollection with a force +at once vivid and powerful. + +“Father of heaven,” * she exclaimed, “I have been driven out of my raison +by too much sorrow, and here I am restored to it on the very graves +where those that I love!” + + * The reader is to remember, that she is supposed to give + utterance to all her feelings and sentiments in the Irish + language. + +She then endeavored to rise, but found on making the attempt, that she +had not strength for it. The consciousness of this filled her heart with +woe almost unutterable. + +“Merciful father,” she again exclaimed, “do not--oh, do not suffer me +to die on this wild mountain side, far from the face or voice of a +human being! There is nothing too powerful for your hand, or beyond your +strength or your mercy, to them that put their humble trust in you. Save +me, oh, God, from this frightful and lonely death, and do not let +me perish here without the consolations of religion! But if it's thy +blessed and holy will to let me do so, then it is my duty to submit! +Give me strength, then, to bow to thy will, and to receive with faith +and thanksgivin' whatever you choose to bestow upon me! And above all +things O Lord, grant me a repentant heart, and that my bleak and lonely +death-bad may have the light of glory upon it! Grant me this, O God, and +I will die happy even here; for where your blessed presence is there can +be nothing wantin'.” + +Her piety and faith in the mercy of God were not without their own +reward. The last words were scarcely uttered, when Father Roche, +accompanied by her son Ned, advanced to the grave on which she sat. He +had been absent on a sick call, and would not have been aware of her +escape to the mountains, were it not for her son, who, having met him on +his return, requested permission to see her, only for a few minutes, if +not too late. The priest granted him so reasonable a request, and it +was on seeking for her that the discovery of her absence took place, the +rest of the family having been of opinion that she had gone to bed +in the early part of the evening, as was mostly her habit. The priest +suspected, from her weak state of health and shattered constitution, +that such a journey would probably prove fatal, and with his usual +discrimination he calculated upon the restoration to reason which +actually occurred. + +“In that case,” said he, “the administration of the last rites will +console her on her bed of death, and God forbid that she should depart +without them. It is my duty that she shall not.” + +“Poor woman!” said he, as they approached her, “this chilly night will +be a severe trial upon her.” + +“What wouldn't I give, my dear mother,--oh, what wouldn't I give,” said +Ned, tenderly taking her hand, “to see your senses restored to you!” + +“Thank the Almighty, then!” she returned feebly--“what!--my darling +son Ned! and Father Roche! Oh, was I not right in sayin' that there is +nothing too powerful for God's strength and love?” she exclaimed; she +then kissed her son, who burst into tears, and tenderly embraced her. + +“See how unexpectedly He can surround even this cowld death-bed with his +mercy.” + +“Don't say a death-bed”, my dear mother, for now that the blight of +raison has left you, I hope you'll get new strength.” + +“I will,” she replied, with a feeble but Mournful smile, “I will Ned; +but it'll be in heaven with them I love, and that love me. My dear Ned, +all my cares are now over--my affections past--I will soon be out of +sorrow and out of pain: this heart will suffer no more, and this head +will no longer be distracted! Oh, the hopes of heaven, but they're sweet +and consolin' on the bed of death!” + +“Cherish them, dear Mary,” said Father Roche; “for I believe you will +soon--very soon indeed--realize them. Her pulse,” he added, “is scarcely +perceptible, and you hear how very feeble her voice is.” + +“What are we to do, then?” asked her son; “do you think, my dear mother, +that you could bear removal?” + +“No--ah, no,”--she replied, “No--I feel that I am going fast--my feet +and limbs are like marble, and the cowld is gettin' into my heart.” + +“Ah, my darling mother,” said the son, in tears, “but that was the warm +and the lovin' heart!” + +Father Roche then having put on his stole, went to her side, and, as +is usual in all cases of approaching death, where a priest is in +attendance, administered to her the last rites of religion. Here in the +mountain solitude did he cheer her departing spirit, as he had that of +her husband, with the sustaining hopes of a glorious immortality. + +“Now,” said she, “I know that I die happy; for here where I couldn't +expect it, has the light of God's mercy shone upon me. He has brought my +son to my side--He has brought the consolations of religion to my heart, +when I was lyin' helpless and alone in this mountain desert. Yes,” she +said, “I forgive all those who ill-treated both me and mine--and the +worst I wish them is, to pray that God may forgive them, and turn their +hearts. And now, Hugh, I am ready--Tor-ey, my manly son, and my own +Brian, with the fair locks, we'll soon be all united again--and never to +part any more--never to part anymore! Ned,” said she, “kiss me; you are +all I now lave behind me out of my fine family; but God's will be +done! I need not bid you,” she added, “to bury me here, for I know you +will--and I wish you would put little Brian's coffin on mine, in order +that my darling child may sleep where I'd have him sleep, until the +Resurrection Day--that is, upon this lovin' mother's breast. But what is +this?” she asked; “is there a light--a bright light--about me? I feel +happy--happy. Oh sure this is the love of God that is to recompense me +for all!” + +Ned, who had her in his arms, felt her head fall down, and on looking at +her, he perceived that she had actually passed away into the happiness +of God's love, which, no doubt, diffused its radiance through her spirit +that was now made perfect. + +“Yes,” said Father Roche, wiping his eyes, “a pure and noble spirit has +indeed passed from a life of great trial and crushing, calamity into one +of glory and immortality. There is a proof, and a consoling proof, +of the lustre which so often irradiates the death-beds of the humble +classes in Ireland, who die far from the knowledge and notice of the +great, whom their toil probably goes to support.” + +“Yes,” replied Ned, bitterly; “it's an aisy thing for Lord Cumber to +know what's either good or bad upon his estate--how the people live, or +how they die--very aisy, indeed, for a man who never puts a foot on it, +but leaves them to the mercy of such villains as M'Clutchy. Had he been +livin' on his property, or looked afther it as he ought to do, I don't +think it's lyin' stretched, far from house or habitation, that you would +be this night, my blessed mother--my poor father, and your childre cut +down by persecution, and yourself, without house or home, runnin' an' +unhappy, deranged creature about the country, and now lyin' there widout +a roof to cover your poor remains.” + +“Do not say so,” replied Father Roche; “she shall be waked in my house, +and buried at my expense.” + +“If you'll allow her to be waked there, I will thank you, Father Eoche; +but the expenses of her burial, I am myself able to pay; and so long +as I am, you know, I could not suffer any one else to intherfare; many +thanks to you, sir, in the meantime.” + +“Well then,” said the priest, “as I know and understand the feeling, I +shall not press the matter; but since the body cannot be left without +protection, I think you had better go down, and fetch a few neighbors +with a door, and let her be removed forthwith. I shall remain till you +return.” + +“It's a very hard thing, Father Roche, that you should be put to sich a +duty,” replied O'Regan; “but the truth is, I wouldn't take all the money +in the King's exchequer, and remain here by myself.” + +“But I have no such fears,” said the priest; “I shall stay within the +shelter of this old ruin until your return, which will be as quick, I +trust, as possible.” + +O'Regan was about to start off at the top of his speed; and Father Roche +began to walk to and fro the old ruin, struck by the pale moonlight, as +it fell through the gray stone windows, loopholes, and breaches of +the walls, lighting up some old remnant of human ambition, or perhaps +exposing a grinning skull, bleached by time and the elements into that +pale white, which is perhaps the most ghastly exponent of death and +the dead. At this moment, however, they were each in no small +degree startled by the sound of human voices; and, to complete their +astonishment, two figures approached the humble grave on which the dead +body of Mary O'Regan lay stretched. On turning towards the moon they +were both immediately recognized by the priest and O'Regan, who looked +on in silence and wonder, and waited to hear, if possible, the object of +their visit. + +“I say again,” said Phil, “I say my jolly ph-foolosophy--eh +foolosopher--that is to say, you deal in foolosophy--an ex-excellent +trade for a fool--I say again, you have brought me the wrong way, or +misled me somehow--upon my honor and reputation, Rimon, I rather +think you're short of sense, my man. Come, I say, let us be off home +again--what the devil did you bring me to a church-yard for?--eh?” + +“Whisht,” said Raymond, “let us see--who have we here? Ah,” said he, +stooping down and feeling the chill of death upon her features, “it is +Mary O'Regan, and she's dead--dead!” + +“Dead,” exclaimed Phil, starting, “curse you, Rimon, let us be off at +full speed, I say--Gad, I'm in a nice pickle; and these pistols are of +no use against any confounded ghost.” + +On hearing that Phil carried pistols, O'Regan started, and had it been +daylight, a fierce but exulting fire might have been seen to kindle in +his eyes. + +“What can have brought them here?” asked Father Roche; “I cannot +understand their visit at such an hour to such a place as this.” + +“A few minutes, sir, will make all clear, maybe.” + +“And what brought poor Mary here to die, do you know?” inquired Raymond; +“no you don't,” he replied, “but I will tell you--she came to die near +poor White-head that she loved so much, and near Torley, and near poor +Hugh himself, that the bloodhounds--” + +“Damn my honor, Rimon, if I can stand this any longer--I'm off.” + +“Hould!” said Raymond, with a shout whose echoes rang through the ruins; +“you musn't go till you hear me out,” and on uttering the words he +gripped him by the arm, and led him over to the dead body. + +“I'm goin' to tell you myself,” proceeded Raymond; “she came to die here +that she might be near them--do you onderstand?” and he involuntarily +pressed the arm he still held with his huge iron finger, until Phil told +him he could not bear the pain. “She came to die here that she mightn't +have far to go to them; for you don't know, maybe, that it's on their +grave she is now lyin':--ha, ha; that's one. DID YOU EVER SEE A MURDERED +WOMAN, CAPTAIN PHIL?” + +“Never,” replied Phil, who stood passive in his grip. + +“Ha, ha, ha,” he chuckled, “that's not a good one. Well, but, did you +ever see a murdherer?” + +“Some o' the blood-hounds pinked fellows, I believe, but then they were +only rebels and Pap-papishes.” + +“Ha, ha,” still chuckled Raymond, as he confronted himself by degrees +with Phil, “I swore it for poor White-head's sake--and for Mary +M'Loughlin's sake--an' for twenty sakes besides.” + +“God! Rimon, what do you mean?” said Phil, “there's a dreadful look +in your eyes Rimon, you are an excellent fellow; but tell me what you +mean?” + +“To show you a murdherer,” he replied; “and now I have one by the +throat!” + +As he spoke, he clutched him by the neck with a grasp that might +strangle a tiger. Then, as before in O'Regan's sheeling, all the fury of +the savage came upon him; his eyes blazed fearfully--the white froth of +passion, or rather of madness, appeared upon his lips, and his bowlings +resembled the roaring of some beast of prey, while tearing up its +quivering victim in the furious agonies of protracted hunger. In a +moment Phil was down, and truly the comparison of the beast of prey, and +his struggling victim, is probably the most appropriate that could be +made; when we consider the position of the one writhing helplessly upon +the ground, and the other howling in all the insatiable wildness of +bloodthirsty triumph over him. So hard and desperate indeed was the tug +for life, and so deadly was the immediate sense of suffocation becoming, +that Phil, whose eyes were already blinded, and who was only able to +utter a low hoarse gurgle, which sounded like the death-rattle in his +throat, was utterly unable either to think of or to use his fire-arms. +The onset, too, was so quick, that neither Father Roche nor O'Regan had +time to render assistance. + +“Great heaven,” exclaimed the priest, “is the young man, bad and wicked +as he is, to be murdered before our eyes by that gigantic idiot!” + +He proceeded to the spot just when Raymond was about to repeat, in +reality, the imaginary scene with the pillow. + +“Ho, ho,” he shouted, “give us betther measure--a little more of +it--the same tongue never was your own friend, nor the friend of any one +else--ha, ha,--ho, ho, ho. There, that's one--take it out o' that, will +you?--whoo, hoo--hello, hach, ach!--This for White-head, and this for +Mary M'----” + +“What's this, Raymond?” said Father Roche, gently laying his hand upon +his huge arm, the muscles of which, now strung into almost superhuman +strength, felt as hard as oak. “Stop, Raymond,” he proceeded, “would you +like that work yourself, my good boy?” + +“Father Roche!” said Raymond, relaxing his hold more from surprise than +anything else. + +“If you will take your hand from his throat, Raymond, my good boy, +I will tell you where you will get a cock that no other bird in the +country could have a chance with. There's a good boy--let him go. Follow +me over here, and leave him.” + +“A cock that cannot be beat?” exclaimed Raymond, starting at once to his +feet, “no, but will you?” + +“I will tell you where he is,” said the priest, “but do not harm him +more,” pointing to Phil,--“I only trust in God that it is not too late.” + He stooped to examine Phil's countenance, and indeed the sight was as +strongly calculated to excite mirth as disgust. There he lay, his foul +tongue projecting out of his mouth, which was open and gasped for wind; +his huge goggle eyes, too, had their revolting squint heightened by +terror into an expression very like that assumed by a clown when he +squints and makes faces at the audience, whilst his whole countenance +was nearly black from excess of blood, and the veins about his forehead +and temples stood out swollen as if filled with ink. + +“Aye, you may look at him,” said Raymond--“he is apurty boy now, +countin' the stars there. A beauty you were, a beauty you are, and so I +leave you!” + +“Come over,” said Father Roche to O'Regan, “and see if you can render +him any assistance. You are stronger.” + +“Would he know me, do you think?” said O'Regan before he went over. + +“At present, certainly not,” replied Father Roche; “but he is breathing, +and in about eight or ten minutes I hope he will probably recover.” + +O'Regan went over, loosed his cravat, and stayed with him a few moments, +after which he returned to Raymond and the priest, who were now in the +ruin. + +“I think he will be well enough shortly,” he observed, “but the truth +is, Raymond, that he wasn't worth your vengeance. I will now go and +fetch a few of the neighbors to assist in bringing my poor mother down +from this lonely spot, that she may at least have a Christian roof over +her.” + +He accordingly departed, and Father Roche in a few minutes had Phil's +mind completely disentangled from the train of dark thoughts and +affectionate impulses by which it had been for some time past +alternately influenced. + +“Raymond,” said the priest, “how could you think of committing such a +frightful act as murder?” + +“Ha, ha!” he replied, “sure i'twas when I thought of Mary M'Loughlin and +poor White-head.” + +“And how did it happen that, of all places in the world, you both came +here?” + +“Becaise White-head and the rest are here. Sure he thought he was comin' +to a poor creature upon no good, and when he was drunk it was aisey to +bring him anywhere--ha, ha! that's one too--for I--can manage him.” + +“I thank the Almighty Father,” ejaculated the priest, “that I was able +to prevent another murder this night--for most assuredly, Raymond, you +would have taken his life.” + +“Ho, ho!” exclaimed the fool, with a little of his former ferocity, +“sure it was for that I brought him here--aye, aye, nothin' else.” + +“Well, while you live,” continued the old man, “never attempt to have +the blood of a fellow creature on your soul. I must go over and see how +he feels--I perceive he is able to sit up. Young man,” he proceeded, +addressing Phil, “I render God thanks that I have been instrumental in +saving your life this night.” + +“That's more than I know,” replied this grateful youth; “I neither saw +nor heard you, if you were.” + +“It matters not,” replied the other, “let me assist you to rise.” + +“I can rise myself now,” said he, getting up and staggering; “I'll +transport you and that d----d savage, Rimon the hatter. You are a +po-popish priest, and you cannot be he-here at this time of night for +much good. Never fear but I'll make you give an account of yourself, my +old buck.” + +The, reader is already aware that Phil had been far advanced in +intoxication previously; but when we take into account the fearful +throttling he received, and the immense rush of blood which must have +taken place to the brain, we need not be surprised that he should +relapse into the former symptoms of his intoxication, or, in other +words, that its influence should be revived in him, in consequence of +the treatment he received. + +“I think,” continued Phil, “that I have got you and Rimon in my power +now, and damn my hon-honor, may be we won't give you a chase a-across +the country that'll put mettle into your heels; hip, hip, hurrah! Ay, +and may be we won't give big M'--M'Cabe, or M'Flail, a ran that will do +him good too, hip, hip--so good--good-night till I see you-you just as +you ought to be--knitting your stock-cooking like Biddy O'Doherty; hip!” + +He then staggered on homewards, half stupid from the strangulation +scene, and very far removed from sobriety, in consequence of the copious +libations of brandy he had swallowed in the course of the day and +evening. + +“Good night, Captain Phil,” cried Raymond after him; “when will you come +to the hills to meet Bet M'Cracken again?--Ha ha there now, that's one.” + +“Poor infatuated young man,” exclaimed Father Roche; “if you were not so +completely an object of contempt, you would surely be one of compassion. +May God in his mercy pity and relieve the unfortunate people whose +destinies, domestic comforts, and general happiness, are to such an +extent in the keeping of men like you and your wretched father--men who +breathe an atmosphere rank with prejudices of the worst description, and +hot with a spirit of persecution that is as free from just policy as +it is from common sense! When will this mad spirit of discord between +Christians--mad, I call it, whether it poison religion, politics, or +inflame religion--be banished by mutual charity, and true liberty, from +our unhappy country? and when will the rulers of that country learn +that most important secret, how to promote the happiness of the people +without degradation on the one hand, or insolent triumph on the other?” + +O'Regan's return with the neighbors from the lower country, was +somewhat, and yet not much, more protracted than Father Roche had +expected. Considering everything, however, there was little time lost, +for he had brought about a dozen and a half of the villagers with him. +Having reached the cold bed where she lay, and where all her affections +had dwelt, they placed her upon a door, and having covered her body with +a cloak brought for the purpose, the little solitary procession directed +their steps to that humble roof which had been, ever since Father +Roche occupied it, a sheltering one to destitution, and poverty, and +repentance. + +As they began to move away, O'Regan said-- + +“Excuse me for a few minutes--I wish to go back to the spot where my +father and brothers sleep; that surely is but natural, and I will soon +overtake you.” + +They then proceeded, and he remained at the graves of his relatives. He +stood over them in silence for many minutes, keeping his face covered +with his hands. At length he knelt down and sobbed out aloud. + +“Father,” said he, “I have fulfilled my oath--Torley, I have fulfilled +my oath--Brian, my sweet and fair-haired child--your brother, when none +was left to do you justice but myself, has fulfilled his oath. Listen to +me and rest quiet in your, graves. The oppressor is no more--the scourge +of the poor--the persecutor--the robber that trampled upon all law--that +laughed at justice--that gave vent to his bad passions, because he knew +that there was neither law, nor justice in the country to protect people +like you or to punish himself;--that oppressor--that scourge of the +poor--that persecutor--that robber, is this night sent to his account by +my hand--for by no other had such a right to fall.--Sleep quiet and +contented in your graves my father--and Torley and poor Brian! As we had +no law for us in this country--I was his law--I was his justice--and so +may God prosper me, if there is not a heavy load taken off of my heart +by the fate that has come on the villain by my hand!” + +He spoke these words m tears and deep sobs after which he composed +himself, so that he might appear in his usual mood, that of simple +grief, on rejoining his companions. + +The morning of the following day, the town, and neighborhood of Castle +Cumber were in a state of extraordinary excitement and tumult. + +“Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq.,” said the True Blue, “the excellent and +humane Agent of the Castle Cumber property, was most barbarously shot +dead in his parlor, about ten o'clock on the previous night. By this +diabolical act, the poor of that admirably managed property,” continued +his brother Orangeman, “have lost, &c, &c.” + +But it is really sickening to read these unprincipled vindications of +the scoundrels who drive the people into crime and bloodshed by their +rack-renting and oppression. It is time that honest men should speak +out, and fasten upon these scourges of their country, their proper +appellative. To this murder, as to others of a similar character, there +never was any clew found; notwithstanding the large rewards that were +subscribed by the gentry of the county and by government. Phil was too +drunk the evening before to remember anything distinctly. His pistols +were never found, nor was any other discovery made which could fasten +even suspicion on any particular individual. + +If Phil, however, were drunk the night before his father's death, he was +sober enough the night after it. On that night there was not a hill +head on all the Castle Cumber estate which had not its bonfire and +its rejoicing--for the re-appointment of Mr. Hickman to the agency. It +might, however, be observed in-general--and it is frightful to be +forced to record such a surfeit of things--that the tenantry, one and +all appeared to feel a singular complacency of temper on the occasion--a +strong sense as it were, of great relief--a revival of good spirits--a +cherishing of rational hope--associated with dreams of domestic comfort, +reasonable indulgence, sympathy, and common justice. + +[Illustration: PAGE 355-- Such was the end of Valentine M'Clutchy] + +Such was the end of Valentine M'Clutchy--and as we have only one other +fact in connection with him to record, we may as well record it here. On +the morning after his death, his mother, Kate Clank, was found dead on +the steps of Castle Cumber gaol, whither, it would seem, she had come, +as if from a principle of early recollection, to the spot where she had +first drawn her breath in innocence; and who can tell, or will any one +dare to say, that she died in guilt, or unforgiven? That is only known +to God, by whom she was to be judged. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI.--Richard Topertoe and his Brother + +--Lord Cumber's Duel--Shot by Hartley--Dies in the Vindication of a +tyrannical Principle--Marriage of Harman and Mary O'Loughlin--Solomon +struck off the roll--Handsome Compliment to the Judge--Solomon's +Death--Dances the Swaggering Jig--Lucre's Virtues and Christian Death. + + +The Honorable Richard Alexander Topertoe, for he was sometimes called +the one and sometimes the other, but most frequently Richard, had been +for several years on the continent, where he found it more economical +to reside than at home. A circumstance connected with a gambling debt of +his brother's; communicated by a friend, brought him suddenly to London, +where he arrived in time to save his brother's reputation and fortune, +and most probably his life, for Lord Cumber, be it known, was very +nearly what is termed a professed duelist. Having succeeded in saving +his brother from being fleeced by a crew of aristocratic black-legs, +and thereby rendered an appeal to the duello unnecessary, he happened to +become acquainted with a very wealthy merchant, whose daughter, in the +course of a few months, he wooed and won. The thing in fact is common, +and has nothing at all of romance in it. She had wealth and beauty; +he had some title. The father, who passed off to a different +counting-house, about a couple of months after their marriage, left him +and her to the enjoyment of an immense property in the Funds; and +sooth to say, it could not have got into better hands. She was made +the Honorable Mrs. Richard Topertoe, and if a cultivated understanding, +joined to an excellent and humane heart, deserved a title, in her person +they did. After his arrival in London he had several conversations with +his brother, whose notions with regard to property he found to be of the +cool, aristocratic, and contemptuous school; that is to say, he did not +feel himself bound to neglect the pleasures and enjoyments of life, and +to look after his tenants. It was enough that he received their rents, +and paid a sensible Agent to collect them. What more could he do? Was he +to become their slave? + +Richard, who now felt quite anxious to witness the management of his +brother's estate--if only for the purpose of correcting his bad logic +upon the subject of property, came over incognito to the metropolis, +accompanied by his wife; and it was to his brother, under the +good-humored sobriquet of Spinageberd, that he addressed the letters +recorded in these volumes. He also had a better object in view, which +was to purchase property in the country, and to reside on it. That +he did not succeed in rooting out of Lord Cumber's mind his senseless +prejudices with respect to the duties of a landlord, was unfortunately +none of his fault. All that man could do, by reasoning, illustration, +and remonstrance, he did; but in vain; the old absurd principle of the +landlord's claims upon his tenantry, Lord Cumber neither could nor would +give up; and having made these necessary observations, we proceed with +our narrative. + +Better than a week had now elapsed; M'Clutchy had been interred with +great pomp--all the Orangemen of the neighboring districts having +attended “his honored and lamented remains” to the grave, each dressed +in his appropriate Orange costume. The provincial chaplain, remarkable +for singing his own songs, had been engaged to preach his funeral +sermon, which he did with a force of eloquence and pathos that literally +brought the tears of those who were acquainted with Val's virtues down +their cheeks--but of none else. He dwelt with particular severity upon +those who had kindled bonfires, and hung his respectable son, “our +esteemed brother, Captain Phil, in effigy; whilst the sacred remains of +that father whom he loved so well, and who so well deserved his +love, and the love of all who had the pleasure and happiness of his +acquaintance, &c, &c, were not yet cold.” + +All this, we say, had taken place, and our friend Hartley was seated +quietly at his breakfast one morning, when a gentleman named +Fenton waited upon him, on the part of Lord Cumber. After the usual +salutations, Mr. Fenton opened the business on which he had come. + +“I regret, Mr. Hartley, that there should be any misunderstanding +between you and Lord Cumber.” + +“Not more so than I do, Mr. Fenton, I assure you; Lord Cumber, I +presume, has arrived then? But pardon me, have you breakfasted?” + +“Thank you, sir, I have breakfasted. He has arrived, sir, and, requested +me, to wait upon you for an apology. It appears, according to my +instructions, as the lawyers say, that you have charged him with holding +and exercising tyrannical principles as a landlord; now this, you know, +is really a thing that a man like him could not overlook.” + +“Of course, Mr. Fenton, he placed our correspondence in your hands.” + +“Unquestionably he submitted it to me, previous to my consenting to +act.” + +“And may I ask your own opinion, Mr Fenton?” + +“As an extensive landed proprietor, Mr. Hartley, I must say that I agree +with him; I think a landlord has a right to demand every kind of support +from his tenant, and that if the tenant claims the privilege of running +counter to his landlord's interest, then the landlord is justified in +removing the tenant off his property as soon as he can.” + +“In that case, then,” replied Hartley, “I have no concession to make, +and no apology to offer. I regret this business very much; but Lord +Cumber places me in a position which I cannot leave without dishonor.” + +“He also wishes to have an explanation with respect to the circumstances +which induced so many of his corps of yeomanry to enroll their names in +your new troop.” + +“I have explained that already, by stating that I never solicited any +of his men to join my troop; they came of their own free will, and I +received them, and certainly will receive as many as come to us under +similar circumstances.” + +“Then I suppose you will not cause them to withdraw from your troop, as +Lord Cumber insists on.” + +“Insists on! Will he allow neither the tenant nor the yeoman the use of +his free will, Mr. Fenton? I see nothing now remains but to refer you +to my friend, Captain Ormsby, who will assist you in making all the +necessary arrangements; and the sooner this unpleasant matter is +terminated; the better.” + +After bidding each other good morning, Mr. Fenton departed to make, as +Hartley termed them, “the necessary arrangements.” + +The next morning at day-break, in a paddock about two miles from Castle +Cumber, there stood a very elegant young man, of a high and aristocratic +bearing, accompanied by Mr. Fenton, to whom he appeared to be relating +some pleasant anecdote, if one could judge by the cheerful features of +the narrator, and the laughter of his companion. A carriage stood by a +kind of scalp in the road, which carriage contained a medical man, +who, indeed, was present with great reluctance. In a few minutes a +gig, containing two persons, drove to the same spot at a rapid pace, +a gentleman on horseback accompanying it; these were Mr. Hartley, +his friend, Captain Ormsby, and a medical gentleman, whom he also had +brought on the occasion. + +On meeting the two principals bowed politely, addressing each other in +friendly terms, and were actually advancing to shake hands, when they +mutually checked themselves, and Hartley, smiling, said:-- + +“My Lord, I fear that this is really a foolish business--why, it is +literally fighting a duel upon abstract principles.” + +“It is fighting a duel upon a principle, which, either abstract or +not, I will always support. If, however, you wish to avoid a duel, Mr. +Hartley, you have only to withdraw the offensive term you applied to the +principle in question.” + +“As soon, my Lord, as you renounce the principle itself.” + +“Enough,” said Lord Cumber, “gentlemen, please to let us take our +ground.” + +Nothing could surpass the coolness, the ease of manner, and fine bearing +of both. The ground was measured at twelve paces, and it was agreed +by the seconds, from principles of humanity, that they should fire by +signal. Indeed, we may say here, that the seconds did everything that +men so circumstanced could do, to prevent the necessity of fighting. +Each, however, was high-minded and courageous, and knowing that his +opponent was remarkable for bravery and success as a duellist, refused +to make any concession. They accordingly took their grounds, resolved to +abide the event. + +Having been placed, the seconds, previous to their agreement as to the +signal to be given, withdrew a little, so as to be completely out of +hearing. While discussing this point, a circumstance occurred worthy of +notice, and, we must say, the high-minded courage which it manifested +ought to have restrained Lord Cumber, as a man of honor, from turning a +pistol against Hartley on the occasion. Both were standing, as we have +said, awaiting the signal to fire, when Hartley said:-- + +“My Lord Cumber a word with you.” + +“It is too late, Mr. Hartley,” replied that nobleman; “I am on my +ground.” + +“It is not an apology, my Lord,” replied the other smiling; “but really, +as a man of honor, I cannot fight you as we stand at present: we are not +upon equal terms.” + +“Speak to your second, sir,” said his opponent. + +“You perceive he happens to be engaged just now,” rejoined Hartley; +“but, in fact, the communication can as well be made to your lordship; I +have just observed, my Lord, that the bullet of your pistol has dropped +out, and I believe, if you will take the trouble to look upon the +ground, you will see it at your feet; your second, I presume, has forgot +to put in wadding.” + +“Mr. Hartley,” replied Lord Cumber, “I always believed you to be a +gentleman, and a man of bravery; I feel it now, and whatever the event +of this meeting may be, I shall render you ample justice. I thank you, +sir, for that act of true courage and honor.” At length the bullet was +restored to its place, and the seconds drew aside to give the signal, +which was letting fall a white handkerchief, when each was immediately +to fire. + +How short a span there is between life and eternity! There they stood, +both in high health and strength, full of the world, and the world's +spirit, and yet in how brief a space was one of them to appear before +the judgment-seat of God! + +At length the signal was given, the handkerchief fell, two shots were +heard, one instantly following the other. Hartley having fired, dropped +his pistol hand by his side, whilst Lord Cumber raised his left hand +to his breast, or rather was in the act of raising it, when he fell, +gathered up his knees to his chin, and immediately stretching out +his limbs at full length, was a corpse: thus dying as he did, in the +maintenance of an unjust and tyrannical principle. And so passed away, +by an untimely death, a man who was not destined to be a bad character. +His errors as a man--a private nobleman--we do not canvass any farther +than as they affected his duties as a landlord. His errors as a landlord +were the errors of his time, and represented the principles of his +class. These were contempt for, and neglect of, the condition and +comforts of his tenantry, of the very individuals from whose exertions +and straggles he derived his support. Strange, indeed, it is that men +placed as his lordship was, should forget a principle, which a neglect +of their duties may one day teach them to their cost--that principle is +the equal right of every man to the soil which God has created for all. +The laws of agrarian property are the laws of a class, and it is not too +much to say, that if the rights of this class to legislate for their +own interests were severely investigated, it might appear upon just and +rational principles that the landlord is nothing more nor less than a +pensioner upon popular credulity, and lives upon a fundamental error +in society created by the class to which he belongs. Think of this, +gentlemen, and pay attention to your duties. + +Whilst Lord Cumber, who never communicated a syllable touching the duel +with Hartley to his brother, was engaged in that mortal conflict, as it +unhappily turned out to be, the Honorable Richard Topertoe was engaged +in a far different occupation. On that same morning, in Castle Cumber +church, he had the pleasure of giving away the hand of Mary M'Loughlin +to her lover, Harman, and it was on their return from her father's +house, after having witnessed their subsequent marriage by Father Roche, +that he met his brother's carriage containing his dead body. Richard +Topertoe possessed a mind above an empty title, and, perhaps, there +lived not a man who more sincerely deplored the event which made him +Lord Cumber, and put him in possession of a property which he did not +require. + +Our chronicles draw to a close. The contemplated interview between Mrs. +Lenehan, her brother, and Solomon, never in fact took place. Solomon +fell very seasonably into ill health, and could be seen by nobody, +except his physician, who was nearly as religious as himself, and +besides, a member of his own congregation. In the trust, however, +which the widow placed in Solomon, she was, to use his own language, +abundantly justified, as the event proved. Honest Solomon defrauded her +out of the money, and had the satisfaction of reflecting that he reduced +her and her family to beggary. Breach of trust it appears is a very +slight thing in the eye of the law, and Solomon, encouraged by this +consideration, ruined the unfortunate widow and her orphans. This act +of gross, unprincipled robbery was, however, not unpunished. In about a +month after he had perpetrated it, the following scene occurred in +the Court of King's Bench, in presence of many who will have little +difficulty in bringing it to their recollection. A thin, pale-faced +man, far gone apparently in serious illness, supported on each side by a +religious friend who had not given him up, one of them by the way was +a Scotchman, and a far greater knave and hypocrite than +himself--approached the table, and requested permission to address the +Court, previous to the exercise of its jurisdiction in striking him off +the Roll of Attornies. This permission was granted, and Solomon, for it +was he, spoke briefly as follows:-- + +“My Lord, you see before you a frail sinner, who will soon appear before +a greater and more awful tribunal than yours. I am not here, my Lord, +to defend an act to which I was prompted by--may I be permitted to +say so--by my very virtues. Some men, my Lord, we ruined by excellent +qualities, and some by those which are the reverse. As touching mine, my +Lord, and the principles upon which--but an explanation on this subject +would not become me. Oh, no, my Lord; but your lordship sees these +tears; your lordship sees this weak, feeble, and emaciated frame. +You perceive, in fact, my Lord, that I am scarcely a subject for the +severity of this or any other court. In the meantime, may I be prepared +to meet a greater, a more awful one! May that be granted, my Lord! oh, +may He grant it! I am very feeble, my Lord, but still able to entreat +that your lordship will temper justice with mercy. About a month ago, my +Lord, when I little apprehended the occurrence which--but may His will +be done! My honesty is known, my Lord; it is known there, pointing +up--about a month ago, I say, I had my last child baptized by--I am +ashamed to tell your lordship what name, lest you might imagine that I +done so for the purpose of biasing your judgment in the--No, my Lord, +I will add nothing to the simple fact--I had my last child baptized by +the name of Richard Pennywinkle M'Slime--a circumstance which fills my +heart with sentiments of joy and gratification up to this moment. And I +am not depressed---far from it. This, my Lord, is a trial, and I know, +for I feel, that it is good for me to be tried, inasmuch as it is a +proof that I am cared for THERE!” and he pointed again upwards as he +spoke. + +The judge, who was a kind-hearted and humane man, was melted even unto +tears which he could with difficulty restrain whilst he spoke. + +“Unhappy man,” said he, “I have been for several years in the habit of +dispensing law--” + +“Justice, you mean, my Lord,” said Solomon; “oh, justice, justice, or +rather mercy, my Lord! little of law have you ever dispensed! Oh, little +of law--but much of justice. May He be praised for it! amen, amen!” + +“Your case, unhappy man, is one which places me in a peculiarly painful +position indeed. The compliment you were good enough to pay me--I mean +that of calling your child after me--makes me feel as if in addressing +you I was--” here he sobbed and wiped his eyes bitterly, and was about +to proceed, when Widow Lenehan's counsel rose up, and said:-- + +“My Lord, it is really too bad that hypocrisy should continue its +impositions even to the last act of the drama. I feel it my duty to +disabuse your lordship in this matter of naming the child after +you. Perhaps the compliment will be considerably diminished, if not +absolutely reversed, when you come to know, my Lord, that the child +which bears your lordship's name--if it does bear it--is an illegitimate +one, and very unworthy, indeed, my Lord of bearing such an honored name +as yours.” + +The judge had been shedding tears for Solomon's calamities during this +address, but it is almost unnecessary to say that the change from the +benevolent and pathetic to the indignant was as fine a specimen as ever +was given of the ludicrous. + +“Do you mean to tell me,” said the judge, the whole features of his face +in a state of transition that was perfectly irresistible; “do you mean +to tell me that the child which the wretched! man had the insolence to +name after me, was not born in wedlock. + +“My Lord,” said Solomon, “this is a subject on which aided by my great +namesake the wisest of--” + +“The decision of the court,” continued the judge, “is, that your name be +struck off the list of Attornies who practice here.” + +In the course of about six weeks afterwards might be read, in all the +metropolitan papers, the following announcement: “Died of deep +decline in the forty-eighth year of his age, Solomon M'Slime, Esq., +Attorney-at-Law. Indeed we are bound to say, that for the last and +most exemplary portion of his life, he ought rather to have been termed +Attorney-at-Gospel. We are glad to hear, for the sake of his interesting +family, that his life was insured for the sum of two thousand pounds, +which has been paid to them.” + +About four months after Solomon's death, an American vessel was lying at +the Pigeon House, waiting for the tide. Several of the passengers were +assembled in Mrs. Thumbstall's tavern--previous to the departure of the +brig--where, as was then usual, they amused themselves by drinking punch +and dancing. Among them was a little thin fellow, dressed in a short +frieze coat, striped waistcoat, corduroy breeches, and stout brogues; +beside him sat a comely, youthful, but somewhat prim female, dressed +as a plain peasant girl. The moment the floor became vacant, the little +frieze-coated fellow got to his legs, accompanied by the female, and +addressed the musician as follows: + +“My good friend, there is--is much cheerfulness in thy music, for +which reason this young person and I will trouble you to play us that +sustaining psalm--I mean that blessed air called the Swaggering Jig, +which is really a consoling planxtic--come, Susanna.” + +Good by, Solomon, thou art now gone to that land of true liberty, and +sorry are we to say, that thou has left so many who are so much worse +than thyself behind thee! One of the most virtuous acts of thy life was +the defrauding the Spiritual Railway Assurance office of two thousand +pounds upon the fiction of thy death; which, truth to say, was a very +bitter fiction to them. + +Our chronicles are closed. Need we say that Richard Topertoe, on gaining +the title and estate, became a resident landlord, and is at this +day enjoying a green and happy old age upon one of the best managed +properties in Ireland, where his tenantry are grateful, prosperous, and +happy. Mary M'Loughlin, her husband, and family, lived happily, as they +deserved to live, and some, of them live yet, and will easily recognize +themselves in these pages. + +Of Phil, we must say a word or two. On finding himself the uncontrolled +inheritor of his father's ill-gotten wealth, he accelerated his progress +in drunkenness and profligacy. He took to the turf, became a gambler and +spendthrift, and went backwards in squandering his fortune through as +unprincipled a course as his father pursued in making it. From step to +step he came down until nothing was left. Having no manly principle +to sustain him, he fell from one stage of rascality and meanness to +another, until he succeeded at length in getting himself appointed as +an under turnkey in Castle Cumber Gaol. A whisper has gone abroad, +that upon a critical occasion when the Sheriff, owing to the death of a +certain functionary essential to the discharge of his duty, felt +himself considerably at a loss, he found in one of the under turnkeys a +convenient substitute. + +The living of Castle Cumber, left vacant by the promotion of Mr. Lucre +to a Bishopric, was given to an Englishman, as was then the practice, +and would be now, were it not for the influence of common shame and +public opinion. + +Mr. Clement opened an Academy in Castle Cumber, and succeeded; for he +thought it a wiser thing to live by teaching a school, than to suffer +his large family and himself to starve by the gospel. + +We now beg to close, by a paragraph from the True Blue:-- + +“_Elevation of the Rev. Dr. Lucre to the See of ------_ + +“For many years a duty at once so painful and so delightful, has not +devolved upon us as a public journalist. The elevation of the +Right Rev., Father in God,, Phineas Lucre to the See of ------, is a +dispensation to our Irish Establishment which argues the beneficent +hand of a wise and overruling Providence. In him we may well say, that +another bright and lustrous star is added to that dark, but beautiful +galaxy, in the nether heavens above us, which is composed of our blessed +Bishops. The diocese over which he has been called by the Holy Spirit +to preside, will know, as they ought, how to appreciate his learning and +attainments. But what shall we say of the poor of Castle Cumber, to whom +he has been such a kind, meek, charitable, and consoling dispenser +of God's gifts and God's word? At the bed of death, of disease, of +poverty--at every post, no matter how poor, low, neglected, or how +dangerous--there was he to be found, the champion of God--fighting his +battles in peace, self-denial, and charity. It is true, he is not an +Irishman; but is it not a blessed thing that such links of love as he, +and of those who resemble him, should continue to bind the virtues +of the two churches, and the two countries together? His Lordship was +consecrated on last Sunday, by that Right Rev. and blessedly facetious +prelate, Archbishop Drapely, who, in addition to his other evangelical +gifts, is said to be a perfect Toler in canonicals. It is not often that +so much piety proceeds from so comic a source.” + +Our readers can scarcely forget the circumstances of Mr. Lucre's +departure out of this wicked, ungodly, and sensual world. About eight +years ago, or less, he died in a very pious fit of apoplectic passion, +brought on by his cook, in consequence of that important functionary +having neglected the apostolic duty of dressing a haunch of venison, we +presume, upon scriptural authority. We regret to say, for the sake of +the Church, and the loss which she sustained in consequence, that the +haunch in question was considerably overdone--a fact which one would +scarcely imagine could have produced such important results upon the +religion of the country as it did by his death. + +With respect to Counsellor Browbeater, we have only to say, that the +government of that period, having got out of him all the dirty work of +which he was capable, felt extremely anxious to get rid of him as easily +and safely as they could. Browbeater, however, who was a most insatiable +leech, stuck to them, knowing that they could not well discharge him +without a character. He was made a master in chancery, and had the honor +of succeeding old Tom Silver, a lawyer, a gentleman, an orator, and a +man of honor and integrity! And only think of Browbeater succeeding such +an office, as excellent, respected, and admirable Tom Silver left behind +him! + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent +by William Carleton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY *** + +***** This file should be named 16009-0.txt or 16009-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/0/16009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/16009-0.zip b/16009-0.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8ccbbf4 --- /dev/null +++ b/16009-0.zip diff --git a/16009-h.zip b/16009-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..835e64b --- /dev/null +++ b/16009-h.zip diff --git a/16009-h/16009-h.htm b/16009-h/16009-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1275694 --- /dev/null +++ b/16009-h/16009-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,25544 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta content="pg2html (binary v0.17)" name="linkgenerator" /> + <title> + Valentine M'Clutchy, by William Carleton + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Project Gutenberg's Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent, by William Carleton + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent + The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two + +Author: William Carleton + +Illustrator: M. L. Flanery + +Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16009] +Last Updated: March 2, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <h1> + VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY + </h1> + <h3> + THE IRISH AGENT. + </h3> + <h2> + By William Carleton + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img alt="plate216 (169K)" src="images/plate216.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img alt="tilepage2 (53K)" src="images/tilepage2.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + CONTENTS + </h2> + <blockquote> + <p> + <a href="#link2H_PREF"> PREFACE </a> <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I.</a> An Irish Pair and + Spoileen Tent <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II.</a> Birth + and Origin of Mr. M'Clutchy <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER + III.</a> Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV.</a> Poll Doolin, the Child + Cadger <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V.</a> A + Mysterious Meeting <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI.</a> The + Life and Virtues of an Irish Absentee <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0007"> + CHAPTER VII.</a> Reflections on Absenteeism <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII.</a> Poverty and Sorrow + <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX.</a> A + Dialogue, exhibiting Singular Principles of Justice <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X.</a> A Dutiful Grandson and a + Respectable Grandmother <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI.</a> Darby + and Solomon at Prayer <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII.</a> Interview + between Darby and Mr. Lucre <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER + XIII.</a> Darby's Brief Retirement from Public Life. <br /><br /> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV.</a> Poll Doolin's + Honesty, and Phil's Gallantry <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0015"> + CHAPTER XV.</a> Objects of an English Traveller <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI.</a> Solomon in Trouble + <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII.</a> A Moral + Survey, or a Wise Man led by a Fool <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0018"> + CHAPTER XVIII.</a> An Execution by Val's Blood-Hounds <br /><br /> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER XIX.</a> An Orange Lodge at + Full Work <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER XX.</a> Sobriety + and Loyalty <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER XXI.</a> Darby's + Piety Rewarded <br /><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0023"> CHAPTEK XXII.</a> Castle + Cumber Grand Jury Room <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER + XXIII.</a> A Rent Day <br /><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0025"> + CHAPTEK XXIV.</a> Raymond's Sense of Justice <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER XXV.</a> Val and his Son + brought to Trial <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER XXVI.</a> Harman's + Interview with Mary M'Loughlin <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0025"> + CHAPTER XXVII.</a> Bob Beatty's Last Illness <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0026"> CHAPTER XXVIII.</a> Darby + is a Spiritual Ganymede <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0027"> CHAPTER + XXIX.</a> Solomon Suffers a Little Retribution <br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0028"> CHAPTER XXX.</a> The Mountain + Grave-Yard <br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0029"> CHAPTER XXXI.</a> Richard + Topertoe and his Brother <br /><br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + List of Illustrations + </h2> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0001"> Page 142— There's As Many Curses Before + You in Hell </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0002"> Page 186— See, Mary, See—they're + Gallopin </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0003"> Page 216— Oh, What a Sweet Convert You + Are </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0004"> Page 231— Borrow the Loan of Your + Religion </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0005"> Page 233— How Many Articles in Your + Church? </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0006"> Page 322— “Ah, Very Right,” Said Bob. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0007"> Page 355— Such Was the End of Valentine + M'clutchy </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PREF" id="link2H_PREF"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PREFACE + </h2> + <p> + It was not my intention to have written any Preface to this book, but to + have allowed it simply to speak for itself. As it is very likely, however, + that both it and the motives of its author may be misrepresented by + bigoted or venal pens, I think it necessary to introduce it to the reader + by a few brief observations. In the first place, then, I beg to say, that + the work presents phases of Irish life and manners that have never been + given to the public before by any other writer upon the same subject. So + far, therefore, the book is a perfectly new book—not only to the + Irish people, but also to the English and Scotch. I know not whether the + authenticity of the facts and descriptions contained in it may be called + in question; but this I do know, that there is not an honest man, on + either side, who has lived in the north of Ireland, and reached the term + of fifty years, who will not recognize the conduct and language of the + northern Orangemen as just, truthful, and not one whit exaggerated. To our + friends across the Channel it is only necessary to say, that I was born in + one of the most Orange counties in Ireland (Tyrone)—that the + violence and licentious abuses of these armed civilians were perpetrated + before my eyes—and that the sounds of their outrages may be said + still to ring in my ears. + </p> + <p> + I have written many works upon Irish life, and up to the present day the + man has never lived who could lay his finger upon any passage of my + writings, and say “that is false.” I cannot, however, avoid remarking + here, that within the last few years, a more enlarged knowledge of life, + and a more matured intercourse with society, have enabled me to overcome + many absurd prejudices with which I was imbued. Without compromising, + however, the <i>truth or integrity</i> of any portion of my writings, I am + willing to admit, which I do frankly, and without hesitation, that I + published in my early works passages which were not calculated to do any + earthly good; but, on the contrary, to give unnecessary offence to a great + number of my countrymen. It is due to myself to state this, and to say, + that in the last edition of my works I have left as many of these passages + out as I readily could, without diminishing the interest, or disturbing + the narrative. + </p> + <p> + <i>A fortiori</i>, then, this book may be considered as full of truth and + fidelity as any I have ever written: and I must say, that in writing it I + have changed no principle whatsoever. I am a liberal Conservative, and, I + trust, a rational one; but I am not, nor ever was, an Orangeman; neither + can I endure their exclusive and arrogant assumption of loyalty, nor the + outrages which it has generated. In what portion of my former writings, + for instance, did I ever publish a line in their favor, or in favor of any + secret and illegal confederacy? + </p> + <p> + Again, with regard to the Landlords and Agents, have I not written a tale + called the “Poor Scholar,” and another called “Tubber Derg”? in both of + which their corruptions and oppressions are exposed. Let it not be + mistaken. The two great curses of Ireland are bad Landlords and bad + Agents, and in nineteen cases out of every twenty, the origin of the crime + lies with the Landlord or Agent, instead of the tenant. + </p> + <p> + With respect to the Established Church of forty years ago, if there is any + man living who asserts that I have not <i>under-drawn</i> her, rather than + otherwise, he is less intimate with truth than I could wish. On this + subject I challenge and defy inquiry. I grant you she is much changed for + the better now; but yet there is much to be done in her still. It is true + Irishmen at present get Mitres, a fact which was unknown forty years ago. + We have now more Evangelicism, and consequently more sleekness and + hypocrisy, more external decorum, and, I would also trust, more internal + spirituality. We have now many eminent and pious Prelates in the Church, + whose admirable example is enough even to shame the Clergymen under them + into a sense of their duty. It is to be wished that we had many more such + as they, for they are wanted. The Irish Evangelical party are certainly + very numerous, and they must pardon me a slight anachronism or two + regarding them, concerning what has been termed the Modern Reformation in + these volumes. Are those who compose this same party, by the way, + acquainted with their own origin? If not, I will tell them. They were + begotten by the active spirit of the Church of Rome, upon their own + establishment, when she was asleep; so that they owe their very existence + to those whom they look upon as their enemies: and if it were only for + this reason alone, there ought to be more peace between them. In England + the same spirit has effected a similar seduction on that Establishment, + but with this difference, that the Puseyites are a much more obedient and + dutiful progeny than the Irish Evangelicals—inasmuch as they have + the grace to acknowledge the relationship. + </p> + <p> + This book was written to exhibit a useful moral to the country. It will + startle, I humbly trust, many a hard-hearted Landlord and flagitious Agent + into a perception of their duty, and it will show the negligent and + reckless Absentee how those from whose toils and struggles he derives his + support, are oppressed, and fleeced, and trampled on in his name. + </p> + <p> + It will also teach the violent and bigoted Conservative—or, in other + words, the man who <i>still</i> inherits the Orange sentiments of past + times—a lesson that he ought not to forget. It will also test the + whole spirit of modern Conservatism, and its liberality. If there be at + the press, or anywhere else, a malignant bigot, with great rancor and + little honesty, it is very likely he will attack my book; and this, of + course, he is at liberty to do. I deny, however, that modern Conservatism + is capable of adopting or cherishing the outrages which disgraced the + Orangemen of forty years ago, or even of a later period. And for this + reason I am confident that the Conservative Press of Ireland will not only + sustain me, but fight my battles, if I shall be ungenerously attacked. Let + them look upon these pictures, and if it ever should happen that arms and + irresponsible power shall be entrusted to them, perhaps the recollection + of their truth may teach them a lesson of forbearance and humanity toward + those that differ from them in creed, that may be of important service to + our common country. If so, I shall have rendered a service to that + country, which, as is usual, may probably be recognized as valuable, when + perhaps my bones are mouldering in the clay, and my ear insensible to all + such acknowledgments. + </p> + <p> + As for, myself, I have been so completely sickened by the bigoted on each + side, that I have come to the determination, as every honest Irishman + ought, of knowing no party but my country, and of devoting such talents as + God has given me, to the promotion of her general interests, and the + happiness of her whole people. + </p> + <p> + Dublin, December 24, 1844. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER I.—An Irish Pair and Spoileen Tent + </h2> + <p> + —A Marriage Proposal—An Under Agent—An Old Irish Squire + and Union Lord. + </p> + <p> + The town of Castle Cumber it is not our intention to describe at more + length than simply to say, that it consists of two long streets, + intersecting each other, and two or three lanes of cabins—many of + them mud ones—that stretch out of it on each side at right angles. + This street, and these straggling appendages, together with a Church, a + Prison, a Court-house, a Catholic chapel, a few shops, and half a dozen + public houses, present to the spectator all the features that are + generally necessary for the description of that class of remote country + towns of which we write. Indeed, with the exception of an ancient Stone + Cross, that stands in the middle of the street, and a Fair green, as it is + termed, or common, where its two half-yearly fairs are held, and which + lies at the west end of it, there is little or nothing else to be added. + The fair I particularly mention, because on the day on which the + circumstances I am about to describe occurred, a fair was held in the + town, and upon the green in question. The month was December—the day + stormy and unpropitious. There had been a deep snow and hard frost for + nearly three weeks before; but now the aspect of the white earth + contrasted wildly with the large masses of black clouds which hung + motionless in the air, and cast a dark and gloomy spirit not only over the + appearance of inanimate nature, but into the heart of man himself. + </p> + <p> + About noon, just when the whole fair had been assembled, the storm + commenced with wind, sleet, and rain. Never was a more striking or + unexpected change produced. Women tucked up, nearly to the knees, their + garments, soaked with wet, clinging to their bodies and limbs, as if a + part of themselves—men drenched and buttoned up to the chin—all + splashing through the slippery streets, their shoes spouting with + snow-broth—the falling of tents—the shouting against the + loudness of the storm, in order to be heard—the bleating of sheep, + lowing of cattle, the deafening and wild hum of confused noises—all, + when added to the roaring of the sweeping blast, the merciless pelting of + the rain, and the inclement character of the whole day, presented a scene + that was tempestuous and desolate beyond belief. Age, decrepid and + shivering—youth, benumbed and stiffened with cold—rich and + poor, man and woman, all had evidently but one object in view, and that + was shelter. + </p> + <p> + Love, charity, amusement, business, were all either disappointed or forced + to suspend their operations, at least for the present. Every one ran or + walked as quickly as possible, with the exception of some forenoon + drunkard, who staggered along at his ease, with an eye half indolent and + half stupid, careless, if not unconscious of the wild uproar, both + elemental and otherwise, by which he was surrounded. + </p> + <p> + Nay, the very beggars and impostors—to whom, in general, severe + weather on such occasions is a godsend, as it presents them to their + fellow-creatures in a more pitiable aspect—were glad to disperse. In + truth, the effect of the storm upon them was perfectly miraculous. Many a + poor creature, blind from birth or infancy, was gifted with, or restored + to excellent sight; the maimed were suddenly cured—the deaf made to + hear—the dumb to speak—and the study baccagh, or cripple, + bounded away, at the rate of six miles an hour, cursing the whole thing as + a bad spec—a dead failure. + </p> + <p> + Solemn assignations of long promise, rustic courtships, and earnest + match-makings, were all knocked up, unless in case of those who availed + themselves of the early part of the day. Time and place, in fact, were + completely forgotten by the parties, each being anxious only to secure the + nearest and most commodious shelter. Nay, though ashamed to write it, we + are bound to confess that some of our countrymen were ungallant enough, on + meeting with their sweethearts, fairly to give them the slip, or only to + recognize them with a kind of dreary and equivocal salutation, that might + be termed a cross between a wink and a shiver. Others, however, gallantly + and magnanimously set the tempest at defiance, or blessed their stars for + sending them an opportunity of sitting so close to their fair inamoratas, + in order that their loving pressure might, in some degree, aided by a + glass of warm punch, compensate the sweet creatures for the unexpected + drenching they had got. + </p> + <p> + It has been well observed, that there is no class of life in which + instances of great virtue and fortitude may not be found; and the Justness + of the apothegm was fully corroborated here. Cold, bitter and tempestuous + and terrible as was the day, amidst rain, wind, sleet, and hail, there + might be seen, in a thoroughfare about the centre of the town, a cripple, + apparently paralytic from the middle down, seated upon the naked street, + his legs stretched out before him, hirpling onward; by alternately + twisting his miserable body from right to left; while, as if the softer + sex were not to be surpassed in feats of hardihood or heroism, a tattered + creature, in the shape of woman, without cap, shoe, or stocking, + accompanied by two naked and shivering children, whose artificial + lamentations were now lost in those of nature, proceeded up the street, in + the very teeth of the beating tempest, attempting to sing some dismal + ditty, with a voice which resembled the imagined shriekings of a ghoul, + more than the accents of a human being. These two were the only + individuals who, in the true spirit of hardened imposture, braved all the + fury of the elements in carrying out their principles—so true is it, + that a rogue will often advance farther in the pursuit of a knavish + object, than an honest man will in the attainment of a just one. To them + may be added the poor fool of the town, Joe Lockhart, who, from his + childhood, was known to be indifferent to all changes of weather, and who + now, elated by the festive spirit of a fair day, moved about from place to + place, without hat or shoe—neither of which he ever wore—just + with as much indifference as if it had been a day in the month of June. + </p> + <p> + If the inclemency of the day, however, was injurious to the general + transaction of business, there was one class to whose interests it amply + contributed—I mean the publicans, and such as opened <i>shebeen</i> + houses, or erected refreshment tents for the occasion. In a great portion + of Ireland there are to be found, in all fairs, what the people term <i>spoileen</i> + tents—that is, tents in which fresh mutton is boiled, and sold out, + with bread and soup, to all customers. I know not how it happens; but be + the motive or cause what it may, scarcely any one ever goes into a + spoileen tent, unless in a mood of mirth and jocularity. To eat spoileen + seriously, would be as rare a sight as to witness a wife dancing on her + husband's coffin. It is very difficult, indeed, to ascertain the reason + why the eating of fresh mutton in such circumstances is always associated + with a spirit of strong ridicule and humor. At all events, nothing can + exceed the mirth that is always to be found among the parties who frequent + such tents. Fun, laughter, jest, banter, attack, and repartee fly about in + all directions, and the only sounds heard are those of light-hearted noise + and enjoyment. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps if the cause of this were closely traced, it might be found to + consist in a sense of shame, which Paddy good humoredly attempts to laugh + away. It is well known that the great body of the people pass through + life, without ever tasting beef or mutton—a, circumstance which + every one acquainted with the country knows to be true. It is also a fact, + that nineteen out of every twenty who go in to eat spoileen, are actuated + more by curiosity than hunger, inasmuch as they consist of such persons as + have never tasted it before. This, therefore, being generally known, and + each possessing latent consciousness of its truth, it is considered best + to take the matter in good humor, and escape the shame of the thing, + together with the poverty it implies, by turning it into ridicule and + jest. This indeed, is pretty evident, from the nature of the spoileen + keeper's observations on being paid, which is usually—“Thank you, + Barney; you may now considher yourself a gintleman;” or if a female—“Long + life to you, Bridget; you may now go into high life any time.” + </p> + <p> + It is unnecessary to say, that on the day in question, the spoileen tents + were crowded to suffocation. In general these are pretty large, sometimes + one, occasionally two fires being kept in each; over these, placed upon + three large stones, or suspended from three poles, united at top, is the + pot or pots in which the spoileen is boiled; whilst patiently in a corner + of the tent, stand the poor invalid sheep, that are doomed, as necessity + may require, to furnish forth this humorous entertainment. + </p> + <p> + Truth to tell, there are many reasons why this feast is a comic one. In + the first place, the description of mutton which they get is badly + calculated to prejudice honest Paddy in favor of that food in general, it + being' well known that in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, the + sacrifice falls upon disease, poverty, and extreme old age; or, if there + be any manifestation of humanity in the selection, it is—that while + the tenderer sex is spared, the male one is in general certain to be made + the victim, but never unless when he has been known to reach a most + patriarchal length of years. Then the suddenness of the act which converts + a portion of the venerable patriarch into a component part of honest + Paddy, is equally remarkable; for it generally happens that the animal now + standing in a corner of the tent, will in about half an hour be undergoing + the process of assimilation in his (Paddy's) gastric region. The elastic + quality of the meat is indeed extraordinary, and such as, with the + knowledge of that fact, does sometimes render Paddy's treat of spoileen to + his sweetheart an act of very questionable gallantry. Be this as it may, + there is scarcely anything in life richer than to witness a tent of + spoileen eaters in full operation. Tugging, pulling, dragging, tearing, + swinging of the head from side to side, want of success, loss of temper, + fatigue of jaw, recovery of good humor, and the wolfish rally, mingled + with mock curses, loud laughter, shouting and singing, all going on + together, are the ordinary characteristics of this most original banquet. + </p> + <p> + About the centre of the town stood one of those houses of entertainment + which holds rank in such towns as a second rate inn. On the day in + question it was painfully overcrowded, and such was the hubbub of loud + talk, laughter, singing, roaring, clattering of pewter pots, and thumping + of tables, that it was almost impossible to hear or understand anything in + the shape of conversation. To this, however, there was one exception. A + small closet simply large enough to hold a table, and two short forms, + opened from a room above stairs looking into the stable yard. In this + there was a good fire, at which sat two men, being, with a bed and small + table, nearly as many as it was capable of holding with ease. + </p> + <p> + One of these was a stout, broad-shouldered person, a good deal + knock-kneed, remarkably sallow in the complexion, with brows black and + beetling. He squinted, too, with one eye, and what between this + circumstance, a remarkably sharp but hooked nose, and the lowering brows + aforesaid, there was altogether about him a singular expression of + acuteness and malignity. In every sense he was a person against whom you + would feel disposed to guard yourself, whether in the ordinary intercourse + of life and its transactions, or still more in the secret workings of the + darker and more vindictive passions. He was what they call a down-looking + man; that is, one who in conversation could never look you straight in the + face, which fact, together with a habit of quivering observable in his + upper lip, when any way agitated, gave unquestionable proof that his + cowardice was equal to his malignity, as his treachery was to both. His + age might be about fifty, or, perhaps beyond it. + </p> + <p> + The other was a tall man, well featured, of a clear fresh complexion, a + fine blue eye, and altogether, a kind, benevolent expression of + countenance. He had been rather stout, but not robust, and might, perhaps, + at the time we write of, be about the same age as his companion. He was + evidently a man of respectability, well dressed, not badly educated, and + on the present occasion wore good broadcloth and top boots. The contrast + between him and the other, was in nothing more striking than the honest, + joyous spirit of his laughter, which rang clearly and mellowly on your + ear, leaving behind it an expression of candor, light-heartedness, and + good nature, that could not be mistaken. “It's idle talk to speak about + going such a day as this,” observed the beetle-browed man, who stirred up + the fire with something that passed for a poker, in reply; “and to tell + you the truth, upon my credit, Mr. M'Loughlin, I'm not sorry that we + happened to meet. You're a man I've a sincere regard for, and always had—and + on that account—well have something more to drink.” So saying, he + stamped upon the floor, which, was exactly over the bar, in order that + some one might attend them with the liquor. + </p> + <p> + “I'm obliged to you, Val,” replied his companion dryly, “for your good + opinion of me; but at the same time, God forbid that I should ever deserve + it—eh? ha, ha, ha. Well, well, let us have some drink, as you say, + at all events; only it must be at my expense as well as the rest. Well, + sure enough, you were the devil's whip-thong in your day, and if you + haven't repented yet, all I can say is, there is little time to lose, if + you wish to have a bright look up at the last day”— + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha, go on, Mr. M'Loughlin, we all know you, the same pleasant fellow + you ever were, and upon my credit, as good a companion as any one could + sit with. All I wish is that we had here more of the family on both sides, + that the boys and girls might have something to whisper to one another.” + </p> + <p> + “I didn't care we had, Val, my boy; but how on earth will we get home? + Indeed such a terrible day I've seldom seen, for many years.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, it's good to have a dry roof over our heads, and a warm fire + before us, at any rate. There's many a poor half-drowned devil in the + fair, would give a trifle to change places with us; there is, upon my + credit.” + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes the refreshments came in, much to the satisfaction of the + parties, who felt a strong sense of comfort, on contrasting the warmth of + their snug little room with the uproar of the storm that raged without, + and spent its fury upon the cold, bleak, and almost deserted streets. + </p> + <p> + “I am glad, indeed, Mr. M'Loughlin,” continued his companion, “that I + happened to meet with you to-day—you and I are now neighbors, and + surely we ought to live like neighbors.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” replied M'Loughlin dryly, “and don't we do so? You haven't found + me troublesome as a neighbor, have you? Eh, Val, my man?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said the other, “certainly I have—upon my credit I haven't, + an' that's what I complain of; neither you nor your family associate with + me or mine.” + </p> + <p> + “Tut, Val, man,” replied M'Loughlin, still in the same dry, ironical tone + as before, “surely it's not long since you came to march us. It's only two + years and a half since you wormed out the O'Hagans, then the farm lay near + two years idle—ay—why, man, you're not four months our + neighbor yet.” + </p> + <p> + “No—not all out; still, Mr. M'Loughlin, somehow you don't treat me + or my family as neighbors. If you have to borrow anything, no matter what + it is, you never come to me for it. It was only the other day that you + wanted a rope to pull that breeding mare of yours out of the drain—and + yet you sent past me near half a mile, up to Widow Lenehan's to borrow + it.” + </p> + <p> + “Heavens pity you, Val, for it's a hard case; but every one has their + troubles, and it seems you are not without your own, poor man—eh—ha! + ha! ha!—Well, never mind, my friend; you're better off now for all + that, than when you were only a process-server on the estate; however, + I'll tell you what, Val the Vulture—you see I can be neighborly + sometimes—just let me know whenever you stand in need of a rope—mark, + I don't say whenever you deserve it—and may I never taste worse + liquor than this, but you shall have it with right good will, hoping still + that you'll make a proper use of it—ha! ha! ha! Come, man, in the + mean time take your liquor, an' don't look as if you'd eat me without + salt; for I tell you if you tried it, you'd find Brian M'Loughlin a + tougher morsel than you imagine.” + </p> + <p> + “If anybody else spoke to me in the style you do, Brian, I'd not be apt to + overlook it; upon my credit and reputation I would not.” + </p> + <p> + “No, but you'd look round it may be, ha! ha! ha! but go on, Vulture, who + minds what I say?” + </p> + <p> + “Nobody, to be sure, because you make one laugh whether they will or not.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, Vulture dear, and that's what nobody can tax you with; or if you + do, it's on the wrong side of the mouth you do it—and they say that + same is but indifferent mirth, Val.” + </p> + <p> + “I wish, Brian, you would sometimes speak seriously, and besides, you're + always hard, too hard, upon me. Anything I did harshly, it was always in + the discharge of my duty.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, Val, the fewer of those old sores you rip up, the better for + yourself—I'm not going to put you through your catechism about them. + If you're wise, let byegones be byegones; take that advice from me. + Whatever tricks you may have practised, you're now a wealthy man, and for + the same reason the world will help you forget them, if you keep your toe + in your pump.” + </p> + <p> + “I <i>am</i> a wealthy man, and can set the world at defiance, if it goes + to that; yes, Brian, a wealthier man than the world thinks—and as I + said, I defy it.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, and you needn't, for the world won't put you to that trouble, at + least a great part of it, if you were ten times the vulture you are, so + long as you have a full purse. Eh, do you perceive me? ha! ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, damn the devil, heaven pardon me for swearing, for it's a thing I + hate——” + </p> + <p> + “——And yet, many a fat oath you've bolted in your time. Now on + the nick of your conscience, Val darling, how many Bibles did you wear + out, by a long and honest course of hard swearing?—eh—ha! ha! + ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! ha! ha! Brian, I see there is little use in speaking to you, or being + angry with you; you are a devilish pleasant hearty fellow, only something + a little too rough about the tongue.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, Val, by all accounts it would be easy to reckon them; but + seriously, is it true that the lower joint of your right thumb is horny, + in consequence of having caught the character of your conscience from + having kissed it so often?” + </p> + <p> + “Go on, Brian, go on; to be sure it is; they may say what they like—I + am not depending upon them, and I care little. But now, Brian, there is + one thing I will say, and I have long wished for an opportunity of saying + it.” + </p> + <p> + “That's my bully, out with it; don't be dashed, Val, you'll get over your + modesty; upon my credit you will—ha! ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “D—n it, you can't be serious for a minute; but no matter, I will + out with it—here's your health and fireside, in the mean time!” + Brian merely nodded in reply, but said nothing. “Now you know, Brian, your + farm and mine lie very snugly beside one another; observe that that's what + I begin with.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good.” + </p> + <p> + “Again, your family and mine live very close to one another, too.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, what if part of the farms, and part of the families were to become + united, and get spliced together, eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Very good, very good.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but do you really think so, Brian?” + </p> + <p> + “Go on, if you please, and let us hear more of it; state your case, as you + say at the sessions.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, there's your daughter Mary, a handsome girl, and, by all + accounts, as good as she is handsome—and there's my son Phil, who, + excepting the cast (* Squint)—is—but, at any rate, if he's no + beauty, he's a stout young fellow, for you know yourself that that little + closeness about the knees is always a sign of strength.” + </p> + <p> + “That little closeness, Val!—why, Vulture darling, isn't one knee + sugar candy, and the other licking it?—but go on, it's not bad for + so far, go on; upon my credit it's not.” + </p> + <p> + “I am glad you like it for so far—then seriously, what would you + think of a marriage between them?” + </p> + <p> + “Devil a prettier move you could make, Val. As you say, the farms and the + families lie convenient to one another—and I don't see what's to + prevent your proposal from being realized. You'll do well for Phil, of + course—for although he has the squint in both eyes, instead of only + in one, like yourself—and is twisted very much about the knees, more + than you are a good deal—still, Val—neighbor Val, as I now may + call you—he is a stout, left-legged, round-shouldered blade; and I + question whether the red poll does not become him better than a black one + like yours would.” + </p> + <p> + “Why I grant you, Brian, that he looks better on horseback than on foot, + and when mounted on 'Handsome Harry,' with top-boots and spurs, it's not + on every highway you could meet his equal.” + </p> + <p> + “Devil a lie in that, Val—nor a boy better made to ride or shoot + round a corner you could not meet in Europe—but never mind; go on, + Val—go on, my friend; no, faith, on hill or in hollow, it would not + be easy to match him.” + </p> + <p> + “He'd make an excellent good husband.” + </p> + <p> + “He would not be your son if he did not—well?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, as to that, if the truth was known, I know where the blame would + lie—your daughter will not be the shrew and scold to him that my + blister was to me—upon my credit she won't.” + </p> + <p> + “Devil, a lie in that either, Val—well, well—oh! I'll take my + oath she won't.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't see why he and she might not be very happy together—you are + able to do handsomely for her, as report goes.” + </p> + <p> + “And willing, Val, and a bad father I'd be, if I were not.” + </p> + <p> + “Well then, Brian, so far all looks fair, and devilish glad I am that I + broached the thing at once. I have been thinking of it ever since I came + to the neighborhood—upon my credit I have.”. + </p> + <p> + “Faith, and so am I glad of it—but what's to be done next, Val + darling?” + </p> + <p> + “Why the less time that's lost upon it the better—we must bring the + youngsters together till they get acquainted—then we can have + another meeting, and settle the match out of hand. Did you ever see Phil + on 'Handsome Harry?'” + </p> + <p> + “Didn't I?—to be sure I did—and upon my word, Val, he's a + credit to the horse he rides, as the horse is to him—a comely couple + they are in truth. But, Val, or neighbor Val, as I now may call you, don't + you think it would be better to wind up this business now that our hand's + in for it? Let us hear what you'll do, and I'll follow you on my part, for + there's no use in losing time about it—upon my credit there's not.” + </p> + <p> + “What would you think, then, of the farm we're in now—that is, the + O'Hagan property, as you call it? Suppose I gave him that, what will you + come down with for the girl? I know it can't be under three hundred—come, + say three hundred, and it's a match.” + </p> + <p> + “Three hundred! Oh! Val, you're too soft—too moderate—too mild—indeed + you are—why three hundred would be nothing against the O'Hagan + property, as you call it—and, indeed, I don't intend to put my + daughter off under five hundred, and that's nearly double what three is—eh, + Val, what do you say, upon your credit now?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, I'll not quarrel with you if you make it six or eight.” + </p> + <p> + “Well now,” said M'Loughlin, rising up, whilst his honest features were + lit with indignation, “this joke or this impudence on your part, has gone + far enough—listen to me. What did I or my family do, I ask my own + conscience in the name of God—what sin did we commit—whom did + we oppress—whom did we rob—whom did we persecute—that a + scoundrel like you, the bastard spawn of an unprincipled profligate, + remarkable only for drunkenness, debauchery, and blasphemy—what, I + say, did I and my family do, that you, his son, who were, and are to this + day, the low, mean, willing scourge of every oppressor, the agent of their + crimes—the instrument of their villianies—you who undermined + the honest man—who sold and betrayed the poor man—who deceived + and misled the widow and her orphans, and rose upon their ruin—who + have robbed your employers as well as those you were employed against—a + double traitor—steeped in treachery, and perjured a thousand times + to the core of your black and deceitful heart—what crime, I say + again, did I or mine commit—that we, whose name and blood has been + without a stain for a thousand years, should suffer the insult that you + now have offered Us—eh, look me in the face now if you can, and + answer me if you are able?” + </p> + <p> + M'Cloughlin as he concluded, calmly folded his arms, and looked at his + companion resolutely but sternly. The other, to do him justice, did + certainly raise his head, and fix his evil eye upon him for a moment—it + dropped after a single glance; in truth, he quailed before M'Loughlin; his + upper lip, as usual, quivered—his brow lowered, and looked black as + midnight, whilst all the rest of his face became the color of ashes. In + fact, that white smile, which is known to be the very emblem of cowardice + and revenge, sat upon his countenance, stamping upon it at once the + character of the spectre and the demon—a being to be both feared and + hated. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Brian M'Loughlin,” returned the other, “hear me.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't dare to Brian me, sir,” returned M'Loughlin; “I'm a very humble + man, and ought to be an humble man, for I know well what a sinner I am + before God—but for all that, and if it were against even religion + itself—I feel too proud to suffer you to speak to me as you do—no—don't + Brian me, but listen and let me show you what you are, and what you have + been; I can't say what you will be, that does not lie with any but God.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said M'Clutchy, “go on; I now can hear you, and what is more, I + wish to hear you—and whisper—speak your worst.” + </p> + <p> + It is said, that both cowardice and despair have their courage, and it + would appear from the manner and action of this man, that he now felt + actuated by some vague feeling resembling that which we have described. He + rose up and said, + </p> + <p> + “Brian M'Loughlin, do you think I ever can forget this?” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean by that,” said M'Loughlin, “look me in the face, I say, + and tell me what you mean by it. I'm a man, and an honest man, and there's + no treachery about me.” + </p> + <p> + The sternness with which he spoke, made the other quail again. + </p> + <p> + “There was little in it,” he replied, in a rebuked but cold and malignant + spirit; “I didn't think you were so violent. I bore a great deal from you + this day, Mr. M'Louglin—a great deal, indeed, and so patiently as I + bore it too; upon my credit I did.” + </p> + <p> + M'Loughlin made no reply, but stamped on the floor, in order to bring up + some person to whom he might pay the reckoning. + </p> + <p> + “You need not stamp,” said the other, “this is my share of the reckoning.” + </p> + <p> + “Your share, no: I told you before, it must not be yours. I wouldn't have + it said, that bit or sup, paid for by your ill-gotten wealth, should ever + cross my lips—no, no.” + </p> + <p> + The waiter, or rather waitress, a red-haired, barefooted wench, now came + up. + </p> + <p> + “Here,” said M'Loughlin, “take the refreshments we've had last out of + that, and keep the change to yourself. I have settled what we've had + before, as well as this.” + </p> + <p> + “And why not allow me to settle for this?” asked M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + “Because,” replied this honest and respectable man, “I could not swallow a + thimbleful of anything paid for by your money; what is it? If I did I + would dream for weeks of all that you have done, or if I didn't dream, the + sorrows and the wrongs of my near relative, Widow O'Hagan and her family, + would prevent me from sleeping; the Kellys that you've driven to beggary—The + Gormleys that you got put out—good God! and who now holds their + places? Your own cousin. It's useless, however, to mention all you've + done. You, Val the Vulture, as the people call you, are one of those + scourges that rise and flourish upon the distresses of the poor, and the + injustice that you yourself bring upon them by your falsehood and calumny; + and all because the property they live on is neglected by those who have a + right to look after it. Ay, there is another of your white and cowardly + laughs. Well, you know that there is not a neglected estate in the country + but can produce another vulture like yourself, playing the same heartless + pranks upon the poor people—tying, misrepresenting, swaggering over + and robbing them, and that, too, in the open face of day, merely because + you think there is no one to bring you to an account. + </p> + <p> + “Now go home,” he added, “and when next you want to get a wife for your + spanking son, that's likely to become a squireen upon our hands, don't + come to Brian M'Loughlin, who knows you from the paring of the nails to + the core of the heart.” + </p> + <p> + M'Glutchy looked at him and laughed again; “before you go, at all events,” + he replied, “I hope you remember the observation I made when I introduced + the discourse.” + </p> + <p> + “I can't say I do,” said M'Loughlin, “but I suppose you will let us hear + it.” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” replied Val, and his brow darkened as before. “It was this—your + farm and mine lie very snugly together—observe, I said, '<i>that's + what I begin with</i>'—didn't I say that?” + </p> + <p> + “You did, and now what else do you say?” + </p> + <p> + “The very same thing—that <i>your farm, and mine lie snugly together</i>—and + mark me, Mr. M'Loughlin—” + </p> + <p> + “I do—oh, upon my credit I do—ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Than <i>that's what I end with</i>.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” replied M'Loughlin indignantly, “you think you have the ball at your + own foot, now that old Topertoe is gone, and his son has made you his + under agent. A nice job indeed it was, that transformed old drunken Tom + Topertoe into Lord Cumber, and made his son, the present Lord, too proud + to live on his own estate. However, I'd be glad to see the honest man that + ever envied the same old Tom his title, when we all know that he got it + for selling his country. As for you, Vulture, I defy and despise you; when + my rent's due, thank God I am able to pay it, so you may do your worst. + While Mr. Hickman's over you, the tenants have some protection, in spite + of your villainy, you unprincipled scoundrel.” + </p> + <p> + “Our farms lie snugly together, Mr: M'Loughlin, and <i>that's what I end + with</i>.” + </p> + <p> + It was from the town of Castle Cumber, which we have described at the + opening of our narrative, that old Tom Topertoe, a squire of the true + Irish kidney, took his title. Topertoe, or Lord Castle Cumber, as we must + now call him, like many others, had the high honor of being a Union Lord—that, + is to say his attachment to his principles was so steady, that he did not + hesitate to sell his country for a title, and we may add, something + besides. It is not our intention, at this distance of time, to discuss the + merits of either the union or its repeal; but in justice to truth and + honor, or, perhaps, we should rather say, fraud and profligacy, we are + constrained to admit, that there is not to be found in the annals of all + history, any political negotiation based upon such rank and festering + corruption, as was the legislative union. Had the motives which actuated + the English government towards this country been pure, and influenced by + principles of equality and common justice, they would never have had + recourse to such unparalleled profligacy. This is self-evident, for those + who seek an honorable end will scorn to obtain it by foul and dishonorable + means. The conduct of England, therefore, in this base and shameless + traffic, is certainly a <i>prima face</i> evidence of her ultimate policy—a + policy blacker in the very simplicity of its iniquity than its worst + enemies can paint it, and so obvious in its character, that we question + whether a man could be found, of ordinary information, belonging to any + party, capable at this moment of deliberately and conscientiously + defending it, so far as pertains to this transaction. But enough of this. + </p> + <p> + Before the union, old Topertoe was master of three votes—that is, he + sat himself for the county, and returned members for two boroughs. He was + known by the sobriquet of Pater Noster Tom—not from any disposition + to devotion; but because, whether in parliament, on the hustings, or, + indeed, anywhere else, he never made a speech longer than the Lord's + Prayer. And yet, short as it was, it generally puzzled the shrewdest and + most sagacious of his audience to understand it. Still, though not without + his faults, he was by no means a bad landlord, as landlords went. 'Tis + true he was fond of his wine and of his wench—as a proof of which, + it was well known that he seldom or ever went to,bed with less than four + or five bottles under his belt; and as touching the latter, that he had + two agents in pay to cater for his passions. In both these propensities he + was certainly countenanced by the usages and moral habits of the times; + and the truth is, he grew rather popular than otherwise, precisely on + account of them. He was bluff, boisterous, and not ill-natured—one + of that bygone class who would horsewhip a tenant to-day and fight a duel + for him to-morrow. Above all things, he resided on his estate, knew all + his tenantry by name and person, and contracted, by degrees, a kind of + anomalous attachment for them, merely because they were his property, and + voted and fought for him at elections, and often fought with him touching + their relative positions of landlord and tenant. Indeed, we question + whether he would not enter into a quarrel as readily for a tenant as he + would for a favorite dog or horse; and we are inclined to think, that to + do him justice, he laid nearly as much value on the one as on the other—a + circumstance which we dare say several of our modern landlords, both + resident and absentee, will consider as, on our part, a good-humored + stretch of fiction. + </p> + <p> + His speech at elections absolutely became a proverb in the country; and, + indeed, when we remember the good-natured license of the times, as many + still may, together with the singular blending of generosity and violence, + horsewhipping and protection, mirth and mischief which characterized the + bearing of such men as Topertoe, we are fain to think, to vary the proverb + a little, that he might have spoken more and fared worse. + </p> + <p> + “Here I am again, ye blaggards; your own ould Topertoe, that never had a + day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it. Damn your bloods, ye + affectionate rascals, sure you love me, and I love you, and 't isn't Gully + Preston (his opponent) that can cut our loves in two. No, boys, he's not + the blade to do that, at any rate! Hurra then, ye vagabones; ould Tom + Topertoe for ever! He loves his bottle and his wench, and will make any + rascal quiver on a daisy that would dare to say bow to your blankets. Now, + Gully Preston, make a speech—if you can! Hurra for Tom Topertoe, + that never had a day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it! and don't + listen to Gully Preston, boys! Hurra!” + </p> + <p> + This speech, from which he never varied, was waited for at elections with + a vehemence of mirth and a force of popularity which no eloquence brought + against him could withstand. Indeed, it was perfectly well known that it + alone returned him, for when upon an occasion of considerable doubt and + difficulty, the two parties of the county having been considered as + equally balanced, he was advised by some foolish friend, or enemy in + disguise, to address them in a serious speech, the consequences were near + proving disastrous to his interests. When he commenced—“Gentlemen—upon + an occasion of such important difficulty”—there was for about a + quarter of a minute a dead silence—that of astonishment—Topertoe, + however, who had stuck fast, was obliged to commence again—-“Gentlemen—upon + an occasion, of such—” but it would not do, the groaning, shouting, + hooting, and yelling, were deafening for some minutes, much to the + gratification of his opponent. At length there was something like a pause, + and several voices shouted out—“what the divil do you mane, Tom?” + “He's showin' the garran bane at last,” shouted another—“desartin' + his colors!”—“oh! we're gintlemen now it seems, an' not his own + blaggards, as we used to be—Tiper-to'e's vagabones that stood by him—oh + no! Tom, to hell wid you and your gintlemen—three cheers for Gully + Preston!” + </p> + <p> + Tom saw it was nearly over with him, and Preston's hopes ran high. “Aisy, + boys,” said the other, resuming his old, and, indeed, his natural manner—“Aisy, + ye vagabones—Topertoe's ould speech for ever! Here I am again, ye + blaggards, that never had a day's illness but the gout, bad luck to it!” + &c, &c. This was enough, the old feeling of fun and attachment + kindled up—the multitude joined him in his speech, precisely as a + popular singer is joined by the gods of the upper gallery in some favorite + air, and no sooner was it concluded, than the cheering, throwing up of + hats, and huzzaing, gave ample proof that he had completely recovered his + lost ground, and set himself right with the people. + </p> + <p> + Such is a brief of old Topertoe, the first Lord of Castle Cumber, who, by + the way, did not wear his honors long, the gout, to which he was a martyr, + having taken him from under his coronet before he had it a year on his + brow. He was one of the men peculiar to his times, or rather who aided in + shaping them; easy, full of strong but gross impulses, quick and + outrageous in resentment, but possessed of broad uncouth humor, and a + sudden oblivion of his passion. Without reading or education—he was + coarse, sensual, careless, and extravagant, having no stronger or purer + principle to regulate him than that which originated in his passions or + his necessities. Of shame or moral sanction he knew nothing, and + consequently held himself amenable to the world on two points only—the + laws of duelling and those of gaming. He would take an insult from no man, + and always paid his gambling debts with honor; but beyond that, he neither + feared nor cared for anything in this world—and being a member of + the Hellfire Club, he did not believe in the other. In fact he was the + very man on whose peculiar temperament and character a corrupt and wily + politician might expect to impress his own principles with success. + Topertoe was consequently not only the very man to sell his country, but + to sell, it at the highest price, and be afterwards the first to laugh, as + he did, at his own corruption. + </p> + <p> + Of his eldest son, who of course succeeded to his rank and property, there + is not so much to be said at present, because he will appear, to some + extent, as an actor in our drama. It is enough then to say here that he + inherited his father's vices, purged of their vulgarity and grossness, + without a single particle of his uncertain and capricious good nature. In + his manners he appeared more of the gentleman; was lively, shallow, and + versatile; but having been educated at an English school and an English + college, he felt, or affected to feel, all the fashionable prejudices of + the day and of his class against his native country. He was an absentee + from both pride and inclination, and it is not surprising then that he + knew but little of Ireland, and that little was strongly to its + disadvantage. + </p> + <p> + Another brother there was, whose unpretending character requires little + else than merely that he should be named. The honorable Alexander + Topertoe, who was also educated in England, from the moment his father + stained what he conceived to be the honor of their family by receiving a + title and twenty thousand pounds, as a bribe for his three votes against a + native parliament—hung his head in mortification and shame, and + having experienced at all times little else than neglect from his father + and brother, he hurried soon afterwards to the continent with a heavy + heart and a light purse, where for the present we must leave him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II.—Birth and Origin of Mr. M'Clutchy + </h2> + <p> + Christian Forgiveness—Mr. Hickman, the Head Agent—Darby + O'Drive, the Bailiff—And an Instructive Dialogue. + </p> + <p> + Time, which passes with a slow but certain pace, had already crept twice + around his yearly circle since the fair already described in the town of + Castle Cumber. The lapse of three years, however, had made no change + whatsoever in the heart or principles of Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, although + he had on his external manner and bearing. He now assumed more of the + gentleman, and endeavored to impress himself upon those who came in + contact with him, as a person of great authority and importance. One + morning after the period just mentioned had! elapsed, he and his graceful + son, “Mister Phil,” were sitting in the parlor of Constitution Cottage, + for so they were pleased to designate a house which had no pretension + whatever to that unpretending appellation. + </p> + <p> + “So father,” said Phil, “you don't forget that such was the treatment + M'Loughlin gave you!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I remember it, Phil; but you know, Phil, I'm a patient and a + forgiving man notwithstanding; you know that Phil;—ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “That was certainly the worst case came across us yet,” replied the son, + “none of the rest ventured to go so far, even when you had less power than + you have now.” + </p> + <p> + “I didn't tell you all, Phil,” continued the father, following up the same + train of thought. + </p> + <p> + “And why not,” said Phil, “why should you conceal anything from me?” + </p> + <p> + “Because,” replied the other, “I think you have heard enough for the + present.” + </p> + <p> + The fact was, that M'Clutchy's consciousness of the truth contained in + M'Loughlin's indignant reproaches, was such as prevented him from + repeating them, even to his son, knowing right well that had he done so + they could not exactly have looked each other in the face without + sensations regarding their own conduct, which neither of them wished to + avow. There is a hypocrisy in villainy sometimes so deep that it cannot + bear to repeat its own iniquity, even in the presence of those who are + aware of it, and in this predicament stood Valentine M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + “Maybe he has relented,” said Phil, “or that he will give me his pretty + daughter yet—and you know they have the cash. The linen manufactory + of M'Loughlin and Harman is flourishing.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, Phil,” replied the father, “you must give her up—that's + past—but no matter, I'll forgive him.” + </p> + <p> + Phil looked at him and smiled. “Come, come, father,” said he, “be original—that + last is a touch of M'Slime—of honest Solomon. Keep back the + forgiveness yet awhile, may be they may come round—begad, and upon + my honor and reputation, I shouldn't wish to lose the girl—no, + father, don't forgive them yet awhile.” + </p> + <p> + “Phil, we'll do better for you, boy—don't be a fool, I say, but have + sense—I tell you what, Phil,” continued his father, and his face + assumed a ghastly, deadly look, at once dark and pallid, “listen to me;—I'll + forgive him, Phil, until the nettle, the chick-weed, the burdock, the + fulsome preshagh, the black fungus, the slimiest weed that grows—aye, + till the green mould of ruin itself, grows upon the spot that is now his + hearth—till the winter rain beats into, and the whiter wind howls + over it.” + </p> + <p> + “No marriage, then,” said Phil. “No marriage; but what keeps Darby + O'Drive? the rascal should have been here before—oh no,” said he, + looking at his watch, “he has better than half an hour yet.” + </p> + <p> + “What steps do you intend to take, father?” + </p> + <p> + “Phil, when I'm prepared, you shall know them. In the meantime leave me—I + must write to M'Slime, or send to him. M'Slime's useful at a hint or + suggestion, but, with all his wiliness and hypocrisy, not capable of + carrying a difficult matter successfully out; he overdoes everything by + too much caution, and consequently gets himself into ridiculous scrapes, + besides I cannot and will not place full confidence in him. He is too + oily, and cants too much, to be trusted; I think, still, we may use him + and overreach him into the bargain. Are you going into Castle Cumber?” + </p> + <p> + “I am.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, drop these couple of letters in the post office, and tell Rankin he + must have the Garts finished by Monday next, at the farthest, or it will + be worse for him. By the way, I have that fellow in my eye too—he + had the assurance to tell me the other day, that he could not possibly + undertake the carts until he had M'Loughlin's job at the manufactory + finished. Off with you now, I see O'Drive and Hanlon coming up.” + </p> + <p> + Graceful Phil in a few minutes was mounted in his usual lofty state on + “Handsome Harry,” and dashed off to Castle Cumber. + </p> + <p> + It may not be improper here, before we proceed farther, to give the reader + some additional knowledge of the parentage and personal history of Mr. + Valentine M'Clutchy, as well as a brief statement concerning the Castle + Cumber property, and the gentleman who acted in the capacity of head + agent. + </p> + <p> + The mother, then, of Valentine M'Clutchy, or as he was more generally + called Val the Vulture, was daughter to the county goaler, Christie Clank + by name, who had risen regularly through all the gradations of office, + until the power of promotion could no farther go. His daughter, Kate + Clank, was a celebrated beauty, and enjoyed a considerable extent of local + reputation, independently of being a great favorite with the junior + portion of the grand jury. Among the latter, however, there was one, a + young squire of very libertine principles, named Deaker, whose suit to the + fair Miss Clank proved more successful than those of his competitors, and + the consequence was the appearance of young Val. The reader, therefore, + already perceives that M'Clutchy's real name was Deaker; but perhaps he is + not aware that, in the times of which we write, it was usual for young + unmarried men of wealth not to suffer their illegitimate children to be + named after them. There were, indeed, many reasons for this. In the first + place, the mere fact of assuming the true name, was a standing argument of + the father's profligacy. Secondly, the morals of the class and the period + were so licentious, that the legitimate portion of a family did not like + to be either outnumbered or insulted by their namesakes and illegitimate + relatives, almost at every turn of the public roads. In the third place, a + young man of this description could not, when seeking for a wife, feel the + slightest inclination to have a living catalogue of his immoralities + enumerated to her, under the names of Tom, or Dick, or Val so and so, all + his children. This, of course, was an involuntary respect paid to modesty, + and perhaps the strongest argument for suppressing the true name. The + practice, however, was by no means universal; but in frequent instances it + existed, and Val the Vulture's was one of them. He was named after neither + father or mother, but after his grandmother, by the gaoler's side. Deaker + would not suffer his name to be assumed; and so far as his mother was + concerned, the general tenor of her life rendered the reminiscence of + her's anything but creditable to her offspring. With respect to his + education, Val's gratitude was principally due to his grandfather Clank, + who had him well instructed. He himself, from the beginning, was shrewd, + clever, and intelligent, and possessed the power, in a singular degree, of + adapting himself to his society, whenever he felt it his interest to do + so. He could, indeed, raise or depress his manners in a very surprising + degree, and with an effort that often occasioned astonishment. On the + other hand, he was rapacious, unscrupulous, cowardly, and so vindictive, + that he was never known to forgive an injury. These are qualities to + which, when you add natural adroitness and talent, you have such a + character as has too frequently impressed itself, with something like the + agreeable sensations produced by a red hot burning iron, upon the + distresses, fears, and necessities of the Irish people. + </p> + <p> + M'Clutchy rose from the humble office of process-server to that of + bailiff's follower, bailiff, head-bailiff, barony constable, until, + finally, he felt himself a kind of factotum on the Castle Cumber property; + and in proportion as he rose, so did his manners rise with him. For years + before his introduction to our readers, he was the practical manager of + the estate; and so judiciously did he regulate his own fortunes on it, + that without any shameless or illegal breach of honesty, he actually + contrived to become a wealthy man, and to live in a respectable manner. + Much, however, will have more, and Val was rapacious. On finding himself + comparatively independent, he began to take more enlarged, but still very + cautious measures to secure some of the good things of the estate to him + and his. This he was the better able to do, as he had, by the apparent + candor of his manner, completely wormed himself into the full confidence + of the head agent—a gentleman of high honor and integrity, + remarkable alike for humanity and benevolence; but utterly without + suspicion. Two or three farms, whose leases dropped, he most iniquitously + took into his own hands, and so far wheedled the agent, that he induced + that gentleman to think he was rendering a service to the property by + doing so. The tenantry now began to murmur—a complaint came here, + and another there—here was an instance of private and disguised + oppression; and this was followed by a, vindictive attempt to injure + either the property or character of some one who had the courage to tell + him what he thought of his conduct. + </p> + <p> + Val apprehending that he might be out-borne by too powerful a mass of + testimony, contrived just then, through his misrepresentations to the + agent, who still confided in him, and by the political influence of his + father, the squire, who was the landlord's strongest electioneering + supporter in the county, to get himself formally appointed under-agent. + Feeling now quite confident in his strength, and that his hold on the + prejudices, and, we may add, the ignorance of the absentee landlord, was + as strong, if not stronger than those of the agent himself, he began to + give a greater and less guarded scope to his natural principles. Mr. + Hickman, the agent, had been strongly disgusted by the political + profligacy with which the union was carried; and had, on more than one + occasion, intimated a doubt whether, as an honest man, he could render + political support to any one who had participated in its corruption or + recognized the justice of those principles on which it had been carried. + All this gave M'Clutchy that imperturbable insolence which is inseparable + from petty tyranny and licensed extortion. Day after day did his character + come out in all its natural deformity. The outcry against him was not now + confined to this portion of the property, or that—it became pretty + general; and, perhaps, at the time we have brought him on the stage, there + was not a man in Ireland, holding the situation he did, who was more + feared and more detested. + </p> + <p> + Some time previous to this, however, Hickman's eyes were opened to his + undisguised character, and what he could do he did. On finding that the + Vulture was reviving all the oppressive usages with which property in + Ireland is so penally taxed, he immediately gave orders that such + exactions should be discontinued by M'Clutchy, and resisted by the + tenants. In spite of all this, however, there were upon the property many + timid persons, who, dreading his malignity of purpose, still continued to + yield to his avarice and rapacity, that which nothing else but a dread of + his vengeance could extort from them. Thus did he feather his nest at the + expense of their terrors. + </p> + <p> + Hickman, who had also been agent to old Topertoe, felt a kind of personal + attachment to that good-humored reprobate, so long as he believed him to + be honest. Old Tom's venality, however, at the union, made him rather sick + of the connection, and the conduct, or rather expensive profligacy of the + young absentee Lord, rendered his situation, as an honest and humane + agent, one of great pain to himself, considering his position between + landlord and tenant. + </p> + <p> + He knew besides, that many men of his class had taken most scandalous + advantages of the embarrassments which their dishonesty had occasioned in + the affairs of their employers, and lent them their own rents in the + moments of distress, in order to get a lien on their property. For this + reason, and out of a feeling of honor and self-respect, Mr. Hickman had + made it a point of principle to lend the young Lord, no money under any + circumstances. As far as he could legitimately, and within the ordinary + calculations of humanity, feed Lord Cumber's prodigality of expenditure he + did it. This, however, was not exactly the kind of agent which his + lordship wanted, and however highly he respected, and honored him, still + that direful word necessity goaded him into a forgetfulness of his own + real interests, and of what was due to Hickman. He wanted an agent with + less feeling, less scruple, less independence, and more of that + accommodating principle which would yield itself to, and go down with, the + impetuous current of his offensive vices, and satisfy their cravings even + at his own ruin. Such, then, was M'Clutchy—such the position of Mr. + Hickman, the agent—and such the general state of the Castle Cumber + property. As to the principles and necessities of its proprietor, if they + are not already known, we may assure our readers that they soon will be. + </p> + <p> + Constitution Cottage, M'Clutchy's residence, was, in fact, no cottage at + all, as we have said, but a very respectable house, and of considerable + size. Attached to it was an extensive yard and office houses, an excellent + garden, orchard, pigeon house, and everything, in fact, that could + constitute substantial comfort and convenience. It was situated beside a + small clump of old beeches, that sheltered it from the north—to the + front lay, at a few miles distance, a range of fine mountains—and + between them stretched as rich a valley, both in fertility and beauty, as + the eye of man could rest upon. The ground before the door fell by an easy + and gradual descent, until a little further down it reached a green + expanse of level meadow, through which a clear river wound its lingering + course, as if loth to pass away from between the rich and grassy banks + that enclosed it. It was, in fact, a spot of that calm and perfectly rural + character which draws the heart unconsciously to the secret charm that + rests upon it, and which even the casual traveler leaves behind him with + regret. Some improvements were at the present time in an incipient state—such + as plantations—garden walls—and what seemed the lines of an + avenue, or approach to the house, which, by the way, stood in the centre + of a farm that consisted of about eighty Irish acres. + </p> + <p> + At length a single knock came, which was given by O'Drive, for Hanlon, who + was his assistant, durst not attempt such a thing in his presence; and if + ever a knock conveyed the duplicity of the man who gave it, that did. + Though, as we said, but a single one, yet there was no mistaking its + double meaning. It was impudent and servile; it was impudent, as much as + to say to the servants, “why don't you open the door quickly for a man who + is so deep in your master's confidence as I am?” while to that master + himself, it said, or seemed to say, “I am your creature, your instrument, + your slave, ready to execute any oppression, any hardship, or villainy, on + which you can employ me.” + </p> + <p> + It is said, and we believe with truth, that in military life no officer is + so severe and oppressive as he who has risen from the ranks, and been most + obsequious there. We do not doubt it, for the principle is a strong one in + human nature, and is by no means confined to either the army or navy. At + all events, shuffling, and cringing, and slinking Darby O'Drive presented + himself to Val the Vulture. There was a downcast, cowardly, shy, uneasy, + expression in his blank, straggling features, that seemed to say, for + God's sake spare my very life—don't annihilate me—here I am—you + see through me—heart, spirit, and soul—body, lungs, and lights—could + I tell <i>you</i> a lie? No. Could I deceive you—such a man as you, + that can look through me as if I was a lanthorn, or a pane of glass + without a bull's eye in it. No! only let me live and I'll do your bidding. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Val, in a sharp, imperious;one, “you're punctual for a + wonder.” + </p> + <p> + “God be praised for that,” replied Darby, wiping the top of his nose with + the finger and thumb of an old mitten, “heaven be praised that I'm not + late.” + </p> + <p> + “Hold your damned canting, tongue, you knave, what place is this for it?” + </p> + <p> + “Knave! well I am then.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, you know you are—you are all knaves—every bailiff is a + knave—ahem—unless, indeed, one in a thousand.” + </p> + <p> + “It's truth, indeed, plaise your honor.” + </p> + <p> + “Not but there's worse than you after all, and be damned to you.” + </p> + <p> + “An' betther, sir, too, i' you please, for sure, God help me, I'm not what + I ought to be.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, mend then, why don't you? for you want it. Come now, no jaw, I tell + you, but answer me what I am about to ask you; not a word now.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, no then, plaise your honor, I won't in throth.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you warn the townland of Ballymackscud?” + </p> + <p> + “Yis, plaise your honor.” + </p> + <p> + “Are they ready—have they the rent?” + </p> + <p> + “Only some o' them, sir,—an other some is axin' for time, the + thieves.” + </p> + <p> + “Who are asking for time?” + </p> + <p> + “Why the O'Shaughrans, sir—hopin', indeed, that your honor will let + them wait till the markets rises, an not be forced to sell the grain whin + the prices is so low now that it would ridin them—but it's + wondherful the onraisonableness of some people. Says I, 'his honor, Mr. + M'Clutchy, is only doin' his duty; but a betther hearted or a kinder man + never bruk the world's bread than he is to them that desarves it at his + hands;' so, sir, they began to—but—well, well, it's no matther—I + tould them they were wrong—made it plain to them—but they + wouldn't be convinced, say what I might.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, what did they say, were they abusing me—I suppose so?” + </p> + <p> + “Och! the poor sowls, sure it was only ignorance and foolishness on their + part—onraisonable cratures all or most of them is.” + </p> + <p> + “Let me know at once what they said, you knave, or upon my honor and soul + I'll turn you out of the room and bring in Hanlon.” + </p> + <p> + “Plaise your honor, he wasn't present—I left him outside, in regard + that I didn't think he was fit to be trust—a safe with—no + matther, 'twas for a raison I had.” He gave a look at M'Clutchy as he + spoke, compounded of such far and distant cunning, scarcely perceptible—and + such obvious, yet retreating cowardice, scarcely perceptible also—-that + no language could convey any notion of it. + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Val, “you are a neat lad—but go on—what did they + say, for I must have it out of you.” + </p> + <p> + “That I may die in happiness, your honor, but I'm afeard to tell you—but, + sure, if you'd give your promise, sir—your bright word of honor, + that you'd not pay me off for it, I'll tell you.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! you d——d crawling reptile, out with it—I won't pay + you off.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/plate142.jpg" + alt="Page 142-- There's As Many Curses Before You in Hell " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + “Well, then, here it is—oh! the curse o' Cromwell on them this day, + for an ungrateful pack! they said, your honor, that—bad luck to them + I pray—that there wasn't so black-hearted a scoundrel on the face of + the airth as your four quarthers—that the gallows is gapin' for you—and + that there's as many curses before you in hell as 'ud blisther a griddle.” + </p> + <p> + M'Clutchy's face assumed its usual expression of diabolical malignity, + whilst, at the same time, he gave a look so piercing at Darby, as if + suspecting that the curse, from its peculiar character, was at least + partially his own invention,—that the latter, who stood like a + criminal, looking towards the floor, felt precisely what was going forward + in the other's mind, and knew that he had nothing else for it but to look + him steadily in the face, as a mark of his perfect innocence. Gradually, + therefore, and slowly he raised his small gray eyes until they met those + of M'Clutchy, and thus the gaze continued for nearly a minute between + them, and that with such steadiness on both sides, that they resembled a + mesmeric doctor and his patient, rather than anything else to which we + could compare them. On the part of M'Clutchy the gaze was that of an + inquisitor looking into the heart of him whom he suspected; on that of + Darby, the eye, unconscious of evil, betrayed nothing but the purest + simplicity and candor. + </p> + <p> + And yet, when we consider that Darby most unquestionably did not only + ornament, but give peculiar point to the opinions expressed by the + tenantry against the Vulture, perhaps we ought to acknowledge that of the + two he possessed a larger share of histrionic talent. + </p> + <p> + At length M'Clutchy, whose eye, for reasons with which the reader is + already acquainted, was never either a firm or a steady one, removed it + from Darby, who nevertheless followed it with a simple but pertinacious + look, as much as to say, I have told you truth, and am now waiting your + leisure to proceed. + </p> + <p> + “What do you stare at?” said M'Clutchy, strongly disposed to vent his + malignity on the next object to him; “and, you beggarly scoundrel, what + did you say to that? Tell me, or I'll heave you, head foremost, through + the window?” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” replied Darby, in a quiet, confident, and insinuating tone, “I + raisoned wid them—raisoned wid them like a Christian. 'Now, Sheemus + O'Shaughran,' says I, 'you've said what I know to be a lie. I'm not the + man to put ill between you and his honor, Mr. M'Clutchy, but at the same + time,' says I, 'I'm his sarvint, and as an honest man I must do my duty. I + don't intend to mintion a syllable of what you said this day; but as his + sarvint, and gettin' bread through him, and undher him, I can't, nor I + won't, suffer his honor to be backbitten before his own face—for + it's next to that. Now,' says I, 'be guided by me, and all will be right. + In the first place, you know, he's entitled to <i>duty-fowl</i>*—in + the next place, he's entitled to <i>duty-work</i>.' 'Ay, the landlord is,' + said they, 'but not the Vul——' 'Whisht,' says I, in a friendly + whisper, puttin' my hand across Dan's mouth, an' winkin' both my eyes at + him; 'send his honor down a pair of them fine fat turkeys—I know his + honor's fond o' them; but that's not all,' says I—'do you wish to + have a friend in coort? I know you do. Well and good—he's drawing + gravel to make a new avenue early next week, so, Sheemus O'Shaughran, if + you wish to have two friends in coort—a great one and a little one'—manin' + myself, God pardon me, for the little one, your honor—'you will,' + says I 'early on next Monday mornin', send down a pair of horses and + carts, and give him a week's duty work. Then,' says I, 'lave the rest to + <i>somebody</i>, for I won't name names.'—No, your honor, I did'nt + bring Hanlon in.—By the same token, as a proof of it, there's young + Bandy Shaughran, the son, wid a turkey under aich arm, comin'up to the + hall door.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * These were iniquitous exactions, racked from the poor + tenantry by the old landlords or their agents. +</pre> + <p> + “Well,” proceeded M'Clutchy, without a single observation, “did you call + on the Slevins?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir; they're ready.” + </p> + <p> + “The Magonnels?” + </p> + <p> + “Not ready, sir; but a pair of geese, and two men on next Thursday and + Saturday. On Friday they must go to market to buy two <i>slips</i>.” (* + young pigs). + </p> + <p> + “Widow Gaffney?” + </p> + <p> + “Not ready, sir; but that I may never die in sin, a 'cute shaver.” + </p> + <p> + “Why so—what did she say?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Mr. Hickman, sir, the head agent, your honor; that's the go. Throth, + the same Mr. Hickman is—but, God forbid, sir, I'd spake a word + against the absent; but any way, he's a good round thrifle, one way or the + other, out of your pocket, from Jinny-warry to December.” + </p> + <p> + “Darby, my good man, and most impertinent scoundrel, if you wish to retain + your present situation, never open your lips against that excellent + gentleman, Mr. Hickman. Mark my words—out you go, if I ever discover + that you mention him with disrespect.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, I won't then; and God forgive me for spakin' the truth—when + it's not right.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you see the Mulhollands?” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Hickman again, sir, an' bad luck to—— Beg pardon, sir, I + forgot. Throth, sir, when I mentioned the duty work an' the new aveny, + they whistled at you.” + </p> + <p> + “Whistled at me!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir; an' said that Mr. Hickman tould them to give you neither duty + fowl nor duty work, but to do their own business, and let you do yours. + Ay, and 'twas the same from all the rest.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Val, going to the window and looking abroad for a minute or + two,—“well—so much for Ballymackscud; now for its next + neighbor, Ballymackfud.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Hickman again, sir. The divil sweep the same Hickman, any way,” said + Darby, in an aside, which he knew the other could easily hear. “Out of the + whole townland, sir, all I got was two men for the aveny—a goose + from Barney Scadden, and her last ten, along wid half-a-dozen eggs, from + that dacent creature, widow M'Murt. Throth four fine little clildre she + has, if they had anything on them, or anything to keep body and sowl + together.” + </p> + <p> + “You warned them all, of course?” + </p> + <p> + “Every sowl in the townland of Ballymackt 'ud; and there's the upshot. But + it's all Mr. Hickman, sir; for he tould them—'I will have none of + this work,' says he; 'the tenants musn't be harrished and fleeshed in this + manner,' says he. Yes, your honor, that's the upshot from Ballymackfud—two + day's work—a sick goose (for I disremembered to mention that Barney + said, wid a wink, that she'd require great attintion, as she was in a + delicate state of health)—one ould hen, and a half-a-dozen eggs; + which wouldn't be the case, only for Hickman—not but he's a very + respectable gentleman—by all accounts.” + </p> + <p> + “I told you before, sirra, that I will have nothing offensive to him + mentioned in my presence. Give this letter to Mr. M'Slime, and bring me an + answer as soon as you can. Will you have a glass of spirits?” + </p> + <p> + “Would it be intherfairin' wid my duty, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “If you think so, don't take it; you ought to know best.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, for this one time, in regard of a <i>Lhin-roe</i>* or the red + wather in my stomach, I'll try it. I drank bog-bine last night goin' to + bed, but divil a morsel o' good it did me.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Lhin-roe, or red water—the Irish name for heart-burn. +</pre> + <p> + M'Clutchy handed him a full glass, which he held steadily before his eye, + till the other put up the decanter. + </p> + <p> + “Your honor's health, sir,” said he, “and fireside; and if you war to + throw me out o' fifty windies, I'll add to that—here's wishin' that + the divil had his own, and I know where you'd soon be.” + </p> + <p> + “How, you villainous scoundrel,” said Val, starting with rising wrath, + “what do you mean by that?” + </p> + <p> + Darby made no reply, but hastily tossing off the glass, he seized his hat, + bolted outside the door, and putting in his head, said in a kind of loud + but confidential whisper— + </p> + <p> + “IN HICKMAN'S PLACE, your honor!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III.—Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney + </h2> + <p> + —Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney—His Office—Family + Devotions—Substitute for Breakfast—Misprision Blasphemy—Letter + on Business. + </p> + <p> + Pass we now to another worthy character, who had locality upon the + aforesaid property of Castle Cumber. Solomon M'Slime, the law agent, was a + satisfactory proof of the ease with which religion and law may meet and + aid each other in the heart and spirit of the same person. An attorney, no + doubt, is at all times an amiable, honest, and feeling individual, simply + upon professional principles; but when to all this is added the benignant + influence of serious and decided piety, it would not be an easy task to + find, among the several classes which compose society in general, anything + so truly engaging, so morally taintless, so sweetly sanctimonious, so + seductively comely, as is that pure and evengelical exhibition of human + character, that is found to be developed in a religious attorney. + </p> + <p> + Solomon M'Slime was a man in whose heart the two principles kept their + constant residence; indeed so beautifully were they blended, that his law + might frequently be mistaken for religion, just as his religion, on the + other hand, was often known to smack strongly of law. In this excellent + man, these principles accommodated each with a benignant indulgence, that + manifested the beauty of holiness in a high degree. If, for instance, law + in its progress presented to him any obstacle of doubtful morality, + religion came forward with a sweet but serious smile, and said to her + companion, “My dear friend, or sister, in this case I permit you.” And on + the contrary, if religion felt over sensitive or scrupulous, law had fifty + arguments of safety, and precedent, and high authority to justify her. + But, indeed, we may observe, that in a religious attorney these illiberal + scruples do not often occur. Mr. M'Slime knew the advantages of religion + too well, to feel that contraction of the mind and principles, which in so + many ordinary cases occasions religion and common morality to become + almost identical. Religion was to him a friend—a patroness in whose + graces he stood so high, that she permitted him to do many things which + those who were more estranged from her durst not attempt. He enjoyed that + state of blessed freedom which is accorded to so few, and, consequently, + had his “permissions” and his “privileges” to go in the wicked wayfares of + this trying world much greater lengths than those, who were less gifted + and favored by the sweet and consoling principle which regulated and + beautified his life. + </p> + <p> + Solomon was a small man, thin, sharp-featured, and solemn. He was + deliberate in his manner and movements, and correct but slow of speech. + Though solemn, however, he was not at all severe or querulous, as is too + frequently the case with those who affect to be religious. Far from it. On + the contrary, in him the gospel gifts appeared in a cheerful gravity of + disposition, and a good-humored lubricity of temper, that could turn with + equal flexibility and suavity to every incident of life, no matter how + trying to the erring heart. All the hinges of his spirit seemed to have + been graciously and abundantly oiled, and such was his serenity, that it + was quite evident he had a light within him. It was truly a pleasure to + speak to, or transact business with such a man; he seemed always so full + of inward peace, and comfort, and happiness. Nay, upon some occasions, he + could rise to a kind of sanctified facetiousness that was perfectly + delightful, and in the very singleness of his heart, would, of an odd + time, let out, easily and gently it is true, a small joke, that savored a + good deal of secular humor. + </p> + <p> + Then he was so full of charity and affection for all that were frail and + erring among our kind, that he never, or seldom, breathed a harsh word + against the offender. Or if, in the fulness of his benevolence, he found + it necessary to enumerate their faults, and place them, as it were, in a + catalogue, it was done in a spirit of such love, mingled with sorrow, that + those to whom he addressed himself, often thought it a pity that he + himself did not honor religion, by becoming the offender, simply for the + sake of afterwards becoming the patient. + </p> + <p> + In the religious world he was a very active and prominent man—punctual + in his devotional exercises, and always on the lookout for some of those + unfortunate brands with which society abounds, that he might, as he termed + it, have the pleasure of plucking them out of the burning. He never went + without a Bible and a variety of tracts in his pocket, and seldom was + missed from the platform of a religious meeting. He received subscriptions + for all public and private charities, and has repeatedly been known to + offer and afford consolation to the widow and orphan, at a time when the + pressure of business rendered the act truly one of Christian interest and + affection. + </p> + <p> + The hour was not more than ten o'clock, a.m. when Darby entered his + office, in which, by the way, lay three or four Bibles, in different + places. In a recess on one side of the chimney-piece, stood a + glass-covered bookcase, filled with the usual works on his profession, + whilst hung upon the walls, and consequently nearer observation, were two + or three pensile shelves, on which were to be found a small collection of + religious volumes, tracts, and other productions, all bearing on the same + subject. On the desk was a well-thumbed Bible to the right, which was that + used at family prayer; and on the opposite side, a religious almanack and + a copy of congregation hymns. + </p> + <p> + Darby, on reaching the hall door, knocked with considerable more decision + than he had done at M'Clutchy's, but without appearing to have made + himself heard; after waiting patiently for some time, however, he knocked + again, and at length the door was opened by a very pretty servant girl, + about seventeen, who, upon his inquiring if her master was at home, + replied in a sighing voice, and with a demure face, “Oh, yes—at + family prayer.” + </p> + <p> + “When he's done,” said Darby, “maybe you'd be kind enough to say that + Darby O'Drive has a message for him.” + </p> + <p> + The pretty servant did not nod—an act—which she considered as + too flippant for the solemnity of devotion—but she gently bowed her + head, and closed her eyes in assent—upon which was heard a somewhat + cheerful groan, replete with true unction, inside the parlor, followed by + a voice that said, “ah, Susannah!” pronounced in a tone of grave but + placid remonstrance; Susannah immediately entered, and the voice, which + was that of our attorney, proceeded—“Susannah take your place—long + measure, eight lines, four eights, and two sixes.” The psalm was then + raised or pitched by Solomon himself, who was followed by six or eight + others, each in a different key, but all with such reluctance to approach + their leader, that from a principle of unworthiness, they allowed him, as + the more pious, to get far in advance of them. In this manner they sang + two verses, and it was remarkable, that although on coming to the + conclusion, Solomon was far ahead, and the rest nowhere, yet, from the + same principle of unworthiness, they left the finish, as they did the + start, altogether to himself. The psalm was accordingly wound up by a kind + of understanding or accompaniment between his mouth and nose, which seemed + each moved by a zealous but godly struggle to excel the other, if not in + melody at least in loudness. They then all knelt down, and Solomon + launched, with a sonorous voice, into an extempore prayer, which was + accompanied by a solemn commentary of groanings, sighings, moanings, and + muffled ejaculations, that cannot otherwise be described except by saying + that they resembled something between a screech and a scream. Their + devotions being over, Darby, having delivered M'Clutchy's letter, was + desired to take a seat in the office, until Mr. M'Slime should be at + leisure to send a reply. + </p> + <p> + “Sit down, my good friend, Darby, sit down, and be at ease, at least in + your body; I do not suffer any one who has an immortal soul to be saved to + stand in my office—and as you have one to be saved, Darby, you must + sit. The pride of this vain life is our besetting sin, and happy are they + who are enabled to overcome it—may he be praised!—sit down.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm thankful to you, sir,” said Darby, “oh, thin, Mr. M'Slime, it would + be well for the world if every attorney in it was like you, sir—there + would be little honesty goin' asthray, sir, if there was.” + </p> + <p> + “Sam Sharpe, my dear boy, if you have not that bill of costs finished—” + </p> + <p> + “No sir.” + </p> + <p> + “A good boy, Sam—well, do not omit thirteen and four pence for two + letters, which I ought to have sent—as a part of my moral, + independently of my professional duty—to Widow Lenehan, having + explained to her by word of mouth, that which I ought in conscience, to + have written—but indeed my conscience often leads me to the—what + should I say?—the merciful side in these matters. No, Darby, my + friend, you cannot see into my heart, or you would not say so—I am + frail, Darby, and sinful—I am not up to the standard, my friend, + neither have I acted up to my privileges—the freedom of the gospel! + is a blessed thing, provided we abuse it not'—well, Sam, my good + young friend—” + </p> + <p> + “That was entered before, sir, under the head of instructions.” + </p> + <p> + “Very right—apparently very right, Sam, and reasonable for you to + think so—but this was on a different occasion, although the same + case.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I beg pardon, sir, I did not know that.” + </p> + <p> + “Sam, do not beg pardon—not of me—nor of any but One—go + there, Sam, you require it; we all require it, at least I do abundantly. + Darby, my friend, it is a principle with me never to lose an opportunity + of throwing in a word in season—but as the affairs of this life must + be attended to—only in a secondary degree, I admit—I will, + therefore, place you at the only true fountain where you can be properly + refreshed. Take this Bible, Darby, and it matters not where you open it, + read and be filled.” + </p> + <p> + Now, as Darby, in consequence of his early attendance upon M'Clutchy, had + been obliged to leave home that morning without his breakfast, it must be + admitted that he was not just then in the best possible disposition to + draw much edification from it. After poring over it with a very sombre + face for some time, he at length looked shrewdly at M'Slime closing one + eye a little, as was his custom; “I beg pardon, sir,” said he, “but if I'm + not mistaken this book I believe is intended more for the sowl than the + body.” + </p> + <p> + “For the body! truly, Darby, that last is a carnal thought, and I am sorry + to hear, it from your lips:—the Bible is a spiritual book, my + friend, and spiritually must it be received.” + </p> + <p> + “But, to a man like me, who hasn't had his breakfast to-day yet, how will + it be sarviceable? will reading it keep off hunger or fill my stomach?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! Darby, my friend, that is gross talk—such views of divine truth + are really a perversion of the gifts of heaven. That book although it will + not fill your stomach, as you grossly call it, actually will do it + figuratively, which in point of fact is the same thing, or a greater—it + will enable you to bear hunger as a dispensation, Darby, to which it is + your duty as a Christian to submit. Nay, it will do more, my friend; it + will exalt your faith to such a divine pitch, that if you read it with the + proper spirit, you will pray that the dispensation thus laid on you may + continue, in order that the inner man may be purged.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, and Mr. M'Slime, with great respect, if that is your doctrine it + isn't your practice. The sorra word of prayer—God bless the prayers!—came + out o' your lips today,' an til you laid in a good warm breakfast, and + afther that, for fraid of disappointments, the very first thing you prayed + for was your daily bread—didn't I hear you? But I'll tell you what, + sir, ordher me my breakfast, and then I'll be spakin' to you. A hungry man—or + a hungry woman, or her hungry childre' can't eat Bibles; although it is + well known, God knows, that when hunger, and famine, and starvation are + widin them and upon them, that the same Bible, but nothing else, is; + handed to them by pious people in the shape of consolation and relief. Now + I'm thinkin', Mr. M'Slime, that that is not the best way to make the Bible + respected. Are you goin' to give me my breakfast, sir? upon my sowl, + beggin' your pardon, if you do I'll bring the Bible home wid me, if that + will satisfy you, for we haven't got e'er a one in our own little cabin.” + </p> + <p> + “Sharpe, my good boy, I'll trouble you to take that Bible out of his + hands. I am not in the slightest degree offended, Darby—you will + yet, I trust, live to know better, may He grant it! I overlook the + misprision of blasphemy on your part, for you didn't know what you said? + but you will, you will. + </p> + <p> + “This is a short reply to Mr. M'Clutchy's note. I shall see him on my way + to the sessions to-morrow, but I have told him so in it. And now, my + friend, be assured I overlook the ungodly and carnal tenor of your + conversation—we are all frail and prone to error; I, at least, am so—still + we must part as Christians ought, Darby. You have asked me for a + breakfast, but I overlook that also—I ought to overlook it as a + Christian; for is not your immortal soul of infinitely greater value than + your perishable body? Undoubtedly—and as a proof that I value it + more, receive this—this, my brother sinner—oh! that I could + say my brother Christian also—receive it, Darby, and in the proper + spirit too; it is a tract written by the Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug, entitled + 'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace;' I have myself found it graciously + consolatory and refreshing, and I hope that you also may, my friend.” + </p> + <p> + “Begad, sir,” said Darby, “it may be very good in its way, and I've no + doubt but it's a very generous and Christian act in you to give it—espishilly + since it cost you nothing—but for all that, upon my sowl, I'm + strongly of opinion that to a hungry man it's a bad substitute for a + breakfast.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! by the way, Darby,” lending a deaf ear to this observation, “have you + heard, within the last day or two, anything of Mr. M'Clutchy's father, Mr. + Deaker—how he is?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir,” replied Darby, “I'm tould he's breaking down fast, but the + divil a one of him will give up the lady. Parsons, and ministers, and even + priests, have all been at him; but it is useless: he curses and damns them + right and left, and won't be attended by any one but her—hadn't you + betther try him, Mr. M'Slime? May be you might succeed. Who knows but a + little of the 'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace' might sarve him as well + as others. There's a case for you. Sure he acknowledges himself to be a + member of the hell-fire club!” + </p> + <p> + “He's a reprobate, my friend—impenitent, hopeless. I have myself + tried him, spoke with him, reasoned with him, but never was my humility, + my patience, so strongly tried. His language I will not repeat—but + canting knave, hypocrite, rascal attor—no, it is useless and + unedifying to repeat it. Now go, my friend, and do not forget that + precious tract which you have thrust so disrespectfully into your pocket.” + </p> + <p> + Darby, after a shrewd wink at one of the apprentices, which was returned, + passed out, and left Mr. M'Slime to the pursuit of his salvation. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time, as we authors have peculiar “privileges,” as Mr. M'Slime + would say, we think if only due to our readers to let them have a peep at + M'Slime's note to our friend Valentine M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + “My dear friend—I felt as deep an interest in the purport of your + note as you yourself possibly could. The parties alluded to I appreciate + precisely as you do—M'Loughlin has in the most unchristian manner + assailed my character as well as yours. So has his partner in the concern—I + mean Harman. But then, my friend, are we not Christians, and shall we not + return good for evil? Shall we not forgive them? Some whispers, hints, + very gentle and delicate have reached my ears, which I do not wish to + commit to paper;—but this I may say, until I see you to-morrow, that + I think your intentions with respect to M'Loughlin and Harman are + premature. There is a screw loose somewhere, so to speak, that is all—but + I believe, I can say, that if your father, Deaker, will act to our + purposes, all will be as we could wish. This is a delicate subject, my + dear friend, but still I am of opinion that if you could, by any + practicable means; soften the unfortunate female who possesses such an + ascendancy over him, all will be right. I would, myself, undertake the + perilous task for your sake—and perilous to ordinary men I admit it + would be, for she is beyond question exceedingly comely. In me this would + appear disinterested, whilst in you, suspicion would become strong. Cash + is wanted in the quarter you know, and cash has been refused in another + quarter, and when we meet I shall tell you more about this matter. In the + mean time it is well that there is no legitimate issue—but should he + will his property to this Delilah, or could she be removed?—I mean + to a local distance. But I shall see you to-morrow (D.V.), when we can + have freer conversation upon what may be done. With humble but sincere + prayers for your best wishes and welfare, I am, my dear friend, + </p> + <p> + “Thine in the bonds of Christian love, + </p> + <p> + “Solomon M'Slime. + </p> + <p> + “P. S.—As it is a principle of mine to neglect no just opportunity + of improving my deceitful heart, I bought from a travelling pedlar this + morning, a book with the remarkable title of 'The Spiritual Attorney, or A + Sure Guide to the Other World.' I have not yet had time to look at + anything but the title page, and consequently am not able to inform you + which of the worlds he alludes to, ha, ha! You see, my friend, I do not + think there is evil in a joke that is harmless, or has a moral end in + view, as every joke ought to have. + </p> + <p> + “Thine as before, + </p> + <p> + “Sol. M'Slime.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV.—Poll Doolin, the Child Cadger + </h2> + <p> + —Raymond, her Son—Short Dialogue on the Times—Polls + Opinion on the Causes of Immorality—Solomon is Generous—A + Squire of the Old School—And a Moral Dialogue. + </p> + <p> + The next morning was that on which the Quarter Sessions of Castle Cumber + commenced; and of course it was necessary for Darby O'Drive, who was + always full of business on such occasions, to see M'Clutchy, in order to + receive instructions touching his duties on various proceedings connected + with the estate. He had reached the crossroads that ran about half-way + between Constitution Cottage and Castle Cumber, when! he met, just where + the road turned to M'Clutchy's, a woman named Poll Doolin, accompanied, as + she mostly was, by her son—a poor, harmless, idiot, named Raymond; + both of whom were well known throughout the whole parish. Poll was a thin, + sallow woman, with piercing dark eyes, and a very; gipsy-like countenance. + Her dress was always black, and very much worn; in fact, everything about + her was black—black stockings, black bonnet, black hair, and black + kerchief. Poll's occupation was indeed a singular one, and not very + creditable to the morals of the day. Her means of living were derived from + the employment of child-cadger to the Foundling Hospital of Dublin. In + other words, she lived by conveying illegitimate children from the places + of their birth to the establishment just mentioned, which has been very + properly termed a bounty for national immorality. Whenever a birth of this + kind occurred, Poll was immediately sent for—received her little + charge with a name—whether true or false mattered not—pinned + to its dress—then her traveling expenses; after which she delivered + it at the hospital, got a receipt for its delivery, and returned to claim + her demand, which was paid only on her producing it. In the mean time, the + unfortunate infant had to encounter all the comforts of the establishment, + until it was drafted out to a charter school, in which hot-bed of + pollution it received that exquisitely moral education that enabled it to + be sent out into society admirably qualified to sustain the high character + of Protestantism. + </p> + <p> + “Morrow, Poll,” said Darby; “what's the youngest news wid you? And + Raymond, my boy, how goes it wid you?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't care for you,” replied the fool; “you drove away Widow Branagan's + cow, an' left the childre to the black wather. Bad luck to you!” + </p> + <p> + Darby started; for there is a superstition among the Irish, that the curse + of an “innocent” is one of the most unlucky that can be uttered. + </p> + <p> + “Don't curse me,” replied Darby; “sure, Raymond, I did only my duty.” + </p> + <p> + “Then who made you do your duty?” asked the other. + </p> + <p> + “Why, Val the Vul—hem—Mr. M'Clutchy, to be sure.” + </p> + <p> + “Bad luck to him then!” + </p> + <p> + His mother, who had been walking a little before him, turned, and, rushing + towards him, put her hand hastily towards his mouth, with the obvious + intention of suppressing the imprecation; but too late; it had escaped, + and be the consequence what it might, Val had got the exciting cause of + it. + </p> + <p> + “My poor unfortunate boy,” said she, “you oughtn't to curse anybody; stop + this minute, and say God bless him.” + </p> + <p> + “God bless who?” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. McClutchy.” + </p> + <p> + “The devil bless him! ha, ha, ha! Doesn't he harry the poor, an' drive + away their cows from them—doesn't he rack them an' rob them—harry + them, rack them, rob them— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Harry them, rack them, rob them, + Rob them, rack them, harry them— + Harry them, rack them, rob them, + Rob them, rack them, harry them.” + </pre> + <p> + This he sung in an air somewhat like “Judy Callahan.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha, ha! Oh the devil bless him! and they say a blessin' from the + devil is very like a curse from God.” + </p> + <p> + The mother once more put up her hands to his face, but only with the + intention of fondling and caressing him. She tenderly stroked down his + head, and patted his cheek, and attempted to win him out of the evil humor + into which the sight of Darby had thrown him. Darby could observe, + however, that she appeared to be deeply troubled by the idiot's conduct, + as was evident by the trembling of her hands, and a perturbation of manner + which she could not conceal. + </p> + <p> + “Raymond,” she said, soothingly, “won't you be good for me, darlin'—for + your own mother, my poor helpless boy? Won't you be good for me?” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” said he, in a more placid voice. + </p> + <p> + “And you will not curse anybody any more?” + </p> + <p> + “No, mother, no.” + </p> + <p> + “And won't you bless Mr. M'Clutchy, my dear child?” + </p> + <p> + “There's a fig for him,” he replied—there's a fig for him. Now!” + </p> + <p> + “But you didn't bless him, my darlin'—you didn't bless him yet.” + </p> + <p> + As she spoke the words, her eye caught! his, and she perceived that it + began to gleam and kindle. + </p> + <p> + “Well no,” said she hastily; “no, I won't ask you; only hould your tongue—say + no more.” + </p> + <p> + She again patted his cheek tenderly, and the fiery light which began to + burn in his eye, died gradually away, and no other expression remained in + it but the habitual one of innocence and good-nature. + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” said she, shaking her head, and speaking as much to herself as + to Darby; “I know him too well; no earthly power will put him out of his + own way, once he takes it into his head. This minute, if I had spoke + another word about the blessin', Mr. M'Clutchy would a got another curse; + yet, except in these fits, my poor child is kindness and tendheress + itself.” + </p> + <p> + “Well now,” said Darby, “that that's over, can you tell me, Poll, what's + the news? When were you in Dublin?” + </p> + <p> + “I've given that up,” replied Poll; “I'm too ould and stiff for it now. As + for the news, you ought to know what's goin' as well as I do. You're + nearly as much on the foot.” + </p> + <p> + “No; nor if every head in the parish was 'ithin side o'mine, I wouldn't + know as much in the news line as you, Poll.” + </p> + <p> + “The news that's goin' of late, Darby, is not good, an' you know it. + There's great grumlin' an' great complaints, ever since. Val, the lad, + became undher agent; and you know that too.” + </p> + <p> + “But how can I prevent that?” said Darby; “sure I'd side wid the people if + I could.” + </p> + <p> + “You'd side wid the people, an' you'd side wid the man that oppresses + them, even in spite of Mr. Hickman.” + </p> + <p> + “God bless Mr. Hickman!” said Raymond, “and the divil curse him! and sure + 'tis well known that the divil's curse is only another name for God's + blessin'. God bless, Mr. Hickman!” + </p> + <p> + “Amen, my darlin' child, wid all my heart,” said Poll; “but, Darby,” she + continued, “take my word for it, that these things won't end well. The + estate and neighborhood was peaceable and quiet till the Vulture began his + pranks, and now——” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said Darby, “the blame be his, an' if it comes to that, the + punishment; so far as myself's consarned, I say, let every herrin' hang by + its own tail—I must do my duty. But tell me, Poll—hut, woman, + never mind the Vulture—let him go to the devil his own way—tell + me do you ever hear from your son Frank, that Brian M'Loughlin sent + acrass?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said she, “not a word; but the curse o' heaven on Brian M'Loughlin! + Was my fine young man worth no more than his garran of a horse, that he + didn't steal either, till he was put to it by the Finigans.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sure two o' them were sent over soon afther him, if that's any + comfort.” + </p> + <p> + “It's no comfort,” replied Poll, “but I'll tell you what's a comfort, the + thought that I'll never die till I have full revenge on Brian M'Loughlin—ay, + either on him or his—or both. Come, Raymond, have you ne'er a spare + curse now for Brian M'Loughlin?—you could give a fat one to + M'Clutchy this minute and have you none for Brian M'Loughlin?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” replied, the son, “he doesn't be harryin' the poor.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but he transported your brother. + </p> + <p> + “No matter; Frank used to beat me—he was bad, an Brian M'Loughlin + was good to me, and does be good to me; he gives me my dinner or breakfast + whenever I go there—an' a good bed in the barn. I won't curse him. + Now!” + </p> + <p> + “It's no use,” continued Poll, whose thin features had not yet subsided + from the inflammatory wildness of expression which had been awakened by + the curse, “it's no use, he'll only do what he likes himself, an' the best + way is to never heed him.” + </p> + <p> + “I believe so,” said Darby, “but where's your daughter Lucy now, Poll?” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Poll, “she has taken to my trade, an' thravels up to the + Foundling; although, dear knows, it's hardly worth her while now—it + won't give her salt to her kale, poor girl.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, are the times mendin'?” asked Darby, who spoke in a moral point of + view. + </p> + <p> + “Mendin'!” exclaimed Poll, “oh, ay indeed—Troth they're not fit to + be named in the one day with what they used to be. But indeed, of late I'm + happy to say that they are improvin' a bit,” said she, speaking + professionally. “M'Clutchy's givin' them a lift, for I've ever an' always + remarked, that distress, and poverty, and neglect o' the poor, and + hardship, and persecution, an' oppression, and anything that way, was sure + to have my very heart broke wid business.” + </p> + <p> + “And tell me, Poll, did you ever happen to get a job from a sartin pious + gentleman, o' the name of M'Slime?—now tell the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a question,” replied Poll, “you have no right to axe—you must + know, Darby O'Drive, that I've had my private business, as well as my + public business, an' that I'd suffer that right hand to be cut off sooner + than betray trust. Honor bright, or what's the world good for!” + </p> + <p> + They now reached a spot where the road branched into two, but Poll still + kept to that which led to M'Clutchy's. “Are you for the Cottage too,” + asked Darby. + </p> + <p> + “I am,” replied Poll, “I've been sent for; but what he wants wid me, I + know no more than the man in the moon.” + </p> + <p> + Just then the tramp of a horse's feet was heard behind' them, and in a + minute or two, Solomon M'Slime, who was also on his way to the Cottage, + rode up to them. + </p> + <p> + “A kind good morning to you Darby, my friend! I trust you did not neglect + to avail yourself of the—Ah!” said he complacently on catching a + glimpse of Poll's face, “I think I ought to recollect your features, my + good woman—but, no—I can't say I do—No, I must mistake + them for those of another—but, indeed, the best of us is liable to + mistake and error—all frail—flesh is grass.” + </p> + <p> + “You might often see my face,” returned Poll, “but I don't think ever we + spoke before. I know you to look at you, sir, that's all—an' it's + thrue what you say too, sir, there's nothing but frailty in the world—divil + a much else—howsomever, be that as is may, honor bright's my + motive.” + </p> + <p> + “And a good motto it is, my excellent woman—is that interesting + young man your son?” + </p> + <p> + “He is, sir; but he's a poor innocent that, hasn't the full complement of + wit, sir, God help him!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, my good woman,” continued Solomon, “as he appears to be without + shoes to his feet, will you accept of five shillings, which is all the + silver I have about me, to buy him a pair.” + </p> + <p> + “Many thanks, Mr. M'Sl—hem—many thanks, sir; honor bright's my + motive.” + </p> + <p> + “And let it always be so, my excellent, woman; a good morning to you very + kindly! Darby, I bid you also good morning, and peace be with you both.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, he rode on at a quiet, easy amble, apparently at peace with his + heart, his conscience, his sleek cob, and all the world besides. + </p> + <p> + The sessions of Castle Cumber having concluded as sessions usually + conclude, we beg our reader to accompany us to Deaker Hall the residence + of M'Clutchy's father, the squire. This man was far advanced in years, but + appeared to have been possessed of a constitution which sustains + sensuality, or perhaps that retrospective spirit which gloats over its + polluted recollections, on the very verge of the grave. In the case before + us, old age sharpened the inclination to vice in proportion as it + diminished the power of being vicious, and presented an instance of a man, + at the close of a long life, watching over the grave of a corrupted heart, + with a hope of meeting the wan spectres of his own departed passions, + since he could not meet the passions themselves; and he met them, for they + could not rest, but returned to their former habitation, like unclean + spirits as they were, each bringing seven more along with it, but not to + torment him. Such were the beings with which the soul of this aged + materialist was crowded. During life his well known motto was, “let us + eat, and drink and be merry, for to-morrow we die.” Upon this principle, + expanded into still wider depravity, did he live and act during a + protracted existence, and to those who knew him, and well known he was, + there appeared something frightfully revolting in the shameless career of + this impenitent old infidel. + </p> + <p> + Deaker was a large man, with a rainbow protuberance before, whose chin, at + the time we speak of, rested upon his breast, giving to him the exact + character which he bore—that of a man who to the last was studious + of every sensual opportunity. His gray, goatish eye, was vigilant and. + circumspect, and his under lip protruded in a manner, which, joined to the + character of his age, left no one at a loss for the general subject matter + of his thoughts. He always wore top boots, and generally went on + horseback, having that part of his hat which rested on the collar of his + coat, turned up and greasy. + </p> + <p> + Squire Deaker's language was not more moral than his life—for he not + only enforced his principles by his example, but also by his precept. His + conversation consequently resolved itself into a mingled stream of + swearing and obscenity. Ridicule of religion, and a hardened triumph in + his own iniquitous exploits, illustrated and confirmed by a prodigality of + blasphemous asservations, constituted the staple of his thoughts and + expressions. According to his own principles he could not look forward to + another life, and consequently all that remained for him was to look back + upon an unbroken line of seduction and profligacy—upon wealth and + influence not merely abused, but prostituted to the lowest and grossest + purposes of our worst passions—upon systematic crime—unmanly + treachery—and that dishonest avarice which constituted the act of + heartless desertion in himself the ultimate ruin and degradation of his + victims. Such was this well known squire of the old school, whose + portrait, taken from life, will be recognized by every one who ever knew + him, should any such happen to peruse these pages. + </p> + <p> + At the period of which we write Squire Deaker was near eighty, and + although feeble and broken down, he still exhibited the remains of a + large, coarse, strong-boned animal, not without a vigorous twinkle of low + cunning in his eye, and a duplicity of character and principle about his + angular and ill-shaped eye-brows which could not be mistaken. He was + confined to his bed, and for the first time during many years, was unable + to attend the Castle Cumber quarter sessions. + </p> + <p> + It was the second or third day after their close that about the hour of + ten o'clock, a.m., he awoke from a heavy and unhealthy doze, which could + scarcely be termed sleep, but rather a kind of middle state between that + and waking. At length he raised his head, gasped, and on finding no one in + the room, he let fly a volley of execrations, and rang the bell. + </p> + <p> + “Is there any one there? Any one within hearing? I say Isabel, Isabel, + jezabel, are you all dead and d——d?” + </p> + <p> + “No, your honor, not yet—some of us at least,” replied a + shrewd-looking lad of about eighteen, nicking his appearance. + </p> + <p> + “Ha, Lanty—it's you, is it? What do you mean by that, you devil's + pick-tooth? Where's Isabel? Where's Jezabel? Playing her pranks, I suppose—where + is she, you devil's tooth-brush? eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you want your brandy and wather, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Brandy and h—l, you scoundrel! Where's Miss Puzzle?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, she's just rinsing her mouth, sir, wid a drop of “— + </p> + <p> + “Of what, you devil's imp; but I know—she's drinking—she's + drunk, you young candidate for perdition?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm not an ould one, sir, any how; as to Miss Fuzzle, sir, she bid me + say, that she's doin' herself the pleasure of drinkin' your health”— + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha, ha! Oh, if I were near her—that's all! drinking my health! + She's tipsy, the she scoundrel, she never sends me that message unless + when she's tipsy”— + </p> + <p> + “Not tipsy, your honor, only unwell—she's a little touched wid the + falling sickness—she always takes it after rinsing her mouth, sir; + for she's fond of a sweet breath, your honor.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, she's a confounded blackguard—a living quicksand, and nothing + else. Lanty, my lad, if the Mississippi was brandy grog, she'd dry the + river—drinking at this hour!—well, never mind, I was drunk + myself last night, and I'm half drunk yet. Here, you devil's tinder box, + mix me a glass of brandy and water.” + </p> + <p> + “Wouldn't you do it better yourself, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “No, you whelp, don't you see how my hands, and be hanged to them, tremble + and shake. Put in another glass, I say—carry it to my mouth now; + hold, you croil—here's the glorious, pious, and immortal memory! Ho! + Lanty, there's nothing like being a good Protestant after all—so + I'll stand to glorious Bill, to the last; nine times nine, and one cheer + more! hurra!” + </p> + <p> + He then laid himself back, and attempted to whistle the Boyne Water, but + having only one tusk in front, the sound produced resembled the wild + whistle of the wind through the chink of a door—shrill and + monotonous; after which he burst out into a chuckling laugh, tickled, + probably, at the notion of that celebrated melody proving disloyal in + spite of him, as refusing, as it were, to be whistled. + </p> + <p> + At this moment Miss Isabel, or as he most frequently called her Miss + Jezabel Puzzle, came in with a gleaming eye and an unsteady step—her + hair partially dishevelled, and her dress most negligently put on. The + moment Deaker saw her, his whole manner changed, notwithstanding his + previous violence—the swagger departed from him, his countenance + fell, and he lay mute and terror-stricken before her. It was indeed clear + that her sway over him was boundless, and such was the fact. On this + occasion she simply looked at him significantly, held up her hand in a + menacing attitude, and having made a mock curtesy, immediately left the + room. + </p> + <p> + “Lanty,” said he in an undertone, when she had gone, “Lanty, you clip, go + and tell her to forgive me; I said too much, and I'm sorry for it, say—go + you scoundrel.” + </p> + <p> + “Faix I'll do no such thing, sir,” replied Lanty, alarmed at the nature of + the message; “I know better than to come across her now; she'd whale the + life out o' me. Sure she's afther flailing the cook out o' the kitchen—and + Tom Corbet the butler has one of his ears, he says, hangin' off him as + long as a blood-hound's.” + </p> + <p> + “Speak easy,” said Doaker, in a voice of terror, “speak lower, or she may + hear you—Isn't it strange,” he said to himself, “that I who never + feared God or man, should quail before this Jezabel!” + </p> + <p> + “Begad, an' here's one, your honor, that'll make her quail, if he meets + her.” + </p> + <p> + “Who is it,” asked the other eagerly, “who is it you imp?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Mr. M'Clutchy, sir; he's ridin' up the avenue.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, Val the Vulture—Val the Vulture—I like that fellow—like + him for his confoundedly clever roguery; only he's a hypocrite, and + doesn't set the world at defiance as I do;—no, he's a cowardly, + skulking hypocrite, nearly as great a one as M'Slime, but doesn't talk so + much about religion as that oily gentleman.” + </p> + <p> + In a few moments M'Clutchy entered. “Good morrow, Val. Well, Val—well, + my Vulture, what's in the wind now? Who's to suffer? Are you ready for a + pounce? Eh?” + </p> + <p> + “I was sorry to hear that your health's not so good, sir, as it was.” + </p> + <p> + “You lie, my dear Vulture, you lie in your throat, I tell you. You're + watching for my carcase, snuffing the air at a distance under the hope of + a gorge. No—you didn't care the devil had me, provided you could + make a haul by it.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope sir, there's no——” + </p> + <p> + “Hope! You rascally hypocrite, what's hope good for? Hope to rot in the + grave is it? To melt into corruption and feed the worms? What a precious + putrid carcase I'll make, when I'm a month in the dirt. Maybe you wouldn't + much relish the scent of me then, my worthy Vulture. Curse your beak, at + all events! what do you want? what did you come for?” + </p> + <p> + Val, who knew his worthy sire well, knew also the most successful method + of working out any purpose with him. He accordingly replied, conscious + that hypocrisy was out of the question— + </p> + <p> + “The fact is, sir, I want you to aid me in a piece of knavery.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll do it—I'll do it. Hang me if I don't. Come—I like that—it + shows that there's no mock modesty between us—that we know one + another. What's the knavery?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, I'm anxious, in the first place, to have Hickman, the head + agent, out, and in the next, to get into his place, if possible. Now, I + know that you can assist me in both, if you wish.” + </p> + <p> + “How?” asked Deaker, who was quite as able a tactician as his son; and + who, in fact, had contrived to put himself so completely! in possession of + the political influence of the county as to be able to return any one he + wished. “How is it to be done? Tell me that?” + </p> + <p> + “I have understood from George Gamble, Lord Cumber's own man, that he + wants money.” + </p> + <p> + “Tut,” replied Deaker, who now forgot a great deal of his swearing, and + applied himself to the subject, with all the coolness and ability of a + thorough man of business. + </p> + <p> + “Tut, Val, is that your news? When was he ever otherwise? Come to the + point; the thing's desirable—but how can it be done?” + </p> + <p> + “I think it can; but it must be by very nice handling indeed.” + </p> + <p> + “Well—your nice handling then?” + </p> + <p> + “The truth is, that Hickman, I suspect, is almost sick of the agency—thanks + to Lord Cumber's extravagance, and an occasional bit of blister which I, + through the tenantry, lay on him at home. Cumber, you know, is an unsteady + scoundrel, and in the ordinary I transactions of life, has no fixed + principle, for he is possessed of little honor, and I am afraid not much + honesty.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh murder! this from Val the Vulture! Let me look at you! Did M'Slime + bite you? or have you turned Methodist? Holy Jupiter, what a sermon! Curse + your beak, sir; go on, and no preaching.” + </p> + <p> + “Not much honesty as I said. Now, sir, if you, who have him doubly in your + power—first, by the mortgage; and, secondly, as his political + godfather, who can either put him in, or keep him out of the country—if + you were to write him a friendly, confidential letter, in which, observe, + you are about to finally arrange your affairs; and you are sorry—quite + sorry—but the truth is, something must be done about the mortgage—you + are very sorry—mark—but you are old, and cannot leave your + property in an unsettled state. Just touch that part of it so—” + </p> + <p> + “Yes—touch and go.” + </p> + <p> + “Exactly—touch and go. Well, you pass then to the political portion + of it. Hickman's political opinions are not well known, or at least + doubtful. Indeed you have reason to believe that he will not support his + lordship or his family—is not in the confidence of government—displeased + at the Union—and grumbles about corruption. His lordship is abroad + you know, and cannot think for himself. You speak as his friend—his + tried friend—he ought to have a man on his property who is staunch, + can be depended on, and who will see that full justice is done him in his + absence. Hickman, too, is against Ascendancy principles. Do you see, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Proceed—what next?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, we stop there for the present; nothing more can be done until we + hear from the scoundrel himself.” + </p> + <p> + “And what do you imagine will be the upshot?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I think it not at all unlikely that he will place himself and his + interests, pecuniary and political, altogether in your hands, and + consequently you will probably have the guiding of him.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Val, you are an able knave to be sure; but never mind; I like you + all the better. The true doctrine is always—eat, drink, and be + merry, for to-morrow you die,—take as much out of life and your + fellow-men as you can. There's no knavery in the grave, my Vulture. There + the honest man and the knave are alike; and this being the case, what the + devil is public opinion worth?” + </p> + <p> + “It's worth a great deal if we use it for our own purposes while we're + here; otherwise I agree with you that it's valueless in itself.” + </p> + <p> + “You're a cursed clever fellow, Val, an able knave, as I said—but I + don't like your son; he's a dishonest blockhead, and I needn't tell you + that the man who has not brains enough to be dishonest is a most + contemptible scoundrel.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you not able to get up?” asked Val, in a very dutiful and + affectionate voice. + </p> + <p> + “Able enough now, but my head swam a while ago at a deuced rate. I was + drunk, as usual, last night, and could do nothing, not even put a tumbler + to my mouth, until I took a stiff glass of brandy and water, and that has + set me up again. When shall I write to young Topertoe, the Cumber blade?” + </p> + <p> + “The sooner the better, now; but I think you ought to rise and take some + exercise.” + </p> + <p> + “So I shall, immediately, and to-morrow I write then, according to your + able instructions, most subtle and sagacious Val. Are you off?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, good-bye, sir, and many thanks.” + </p> + <p> + “None of your stuff I say, but be off out of this—” and as he spoke + Val disappeared. + </p> + <p> + So far the first steps for ousting Mr. Hickman were taken by this precious + father and his equally valuable son. Val, however, entertained other + speculations quite as ingenious, and far more malignant in their tendency. + Hickman, of course, he might, by undercurrents and manoeuvering, succeed + in ejecting from the agency; but he could not absolutely ruin him. Nothing + short of this, however, did he propose to himself, so far as M'Loughlin, + and, we may add, every one connected with him, was concerned; for + M'Clutchy possessed that kind of economy in his moral feelings, that + always prompted him to gratify his interest and his malice by the same act + of virtue. How he succeeded in this benevolent resolution, time and the + progress of this truthful history will show. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V.—A Mysterious Meeting + </h2> + <p> + —Description of a Summer Evening—A Jealous Vision—Letter + from Squire Beaker to Lord Cumber—Lord Cumber's Reply. + </p> + <p> + The season was now about the close of May, that delightful month which + presents, the heart and all our purer sensations with a twofold enjoyment; + for in that sweet period have we not all the tenderness and delicacy of + spring, combined with the fuller and more expanded charms of the leafy + summer—like that portion of female life, in which the eye feels it + difficult to determine whether the delicate beauty of the blushing girl, + or the riper loveliness of the full grown maid, predominates in the + person. The time was evening, about half an hour before that soft repose + of twilight, in which may be perceived the subsiding stir of busy life as + it murmurs itself into slumber, after the active pursuits of day. On a + green upland lawn, that was a sheep walk, some portions of which were + studded over with the blooming and fragrant furze, stood an old + ecclesiastical ruin, grey from time, and breathing with that spirit of + vague but dreamy reverie, which it caught from the loveliness of the + season, the calmness and the golden light of the hour, accessories, that, + by their influence, gave a solemn beauty to its very desolation. It + reminded one somewhat of the light which coming death throws upon the + cheek of youth when he treacherously treads in the soft and noiseless + steps of decline—or rather of that still purer light, which, when + the aged Christian arrives at the close of a well spent life, accompanied + by peace, and hope, and calmness, falls like a glory on his bed of death. + The ruin was but small, a remnant of one of those humble, but rude + temples, in which God was worshipped in simplicity and peace, far from the + noisy tumults and sanguinary conflicts of ambitious man. + </p> + <p> + Through this sweet upland, and close to the ruin, ran a footpath that led + to a mountain village of considerable extent. Immediately behind the ruin + stood a few large hawthorn trees, now white with blossoms, whose fragrance + made the very air a luxury, and from whose branches came forth those + gushes of evening melody that shed tenderness and tranquility into the + troubled heart. The country in the distance lay charmed, as it were, by + the calm spirit of peace which seemed to have diffused itself over the + whole landscape—western windows were turned into fire—the + motionless lakes shone like mirrors wherever they caught the beams of the + evening light, as did several bends of the broad river which barely moved + within its winding banks through the meadows below. The sun at length + became half concealed behind the summit of the western hills, so that his + rich and gorgeous beams fell only upon the surrounding uplands, now lit + into purple, leaving the valleys and lower parts of the country to repose + in that beautiful shadow which can be looked upon from the higher parts, + only through the crimson glory of the departing light. And now the sun has + disappeared—is gone—but still how beautiful is the fading + splendor that sleeps for a little on the mountain tops, then becomes + dimmer and dimmer—then a faint streak which gradually melts away + until it is finally lost in the soft shadows of that thoughtful hour. And + even thus passeth away all human glory! The ruin which we have mentioned + stood about half way between the residence of Brian M'Loughlin and the + mountain village to which we have alluded. Proceeding homewards from the + latter place, having performed an errand of mercy and charity, was a very + beautiful girl, exquisitely formed, but somewhat below the middle size. + She was Brian M'Loughlin's only daughter—a creature that breathed of + goodness, grace, and all those delightful qualities that make woman a + ministering angel amidst the cares, and miseries, and sorrows of life. Her + figure, symmetry itself, was so light, and graceful, and elegant, that a + new charm was displayed by every motion, as a new beauty was discovered by + every change of her expressive countenance; her hair was like the raven's + wing, and her black eye, instead of being sharp and piercing, was more in + accordance with the benignity of her character, soft, sweet, and mellow. + Her bust and arm were perfection, and the small white hand and taper + fingers would have told a connoisseur or sculptor, that her foot, in + lightness and elegance of formation, might have excited, the envy of Iris + or Camilla. + </p> + <p> + Having reached the ruin, she was surprised to see the figure of a thin + woman, dressed in black, issue out of it, and approach her with somewhat + of caution in her manner. Mary M'Loughlin was a girl of strong mind and + firm character, and not likely to feel alarmed by any groundless cause of + apprehension. She immediately recognized the woman, who was no other than + our old friend Poll Doolin, and in the phrases peculiar to the country, + made the usual kind inquiry after her health and welfare. + </p> + <p> + “It's a very unusual thing, Poll,” she proceeded, “to see you in this part + of the neighborhood!” + </p> + <p> + “It is,” returned Poll, “I wasn't so near the mountains this many a day; + an' I wouldn't be here now, only on your account. Miss M'Loughlin.” + </p> + <p> + Now, Mary was by no means ignorant of the enmity which this woman + entertained against her father and family, in consequence of having + prosecuted and transported her profligate son. Without the slightest + apprehension on that account, she felt, however, a good deal puzzled as to + the meaning which could be attached to Poll's words. “How, on my account, + Poll? I don't understand you.” + </p> + <p> + “Neither you nor yours desarve it at my hands; but for all that, I am here + to do you a good tarn.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope I never deserved any evil at your! hands, Poll.” + </p> + <p> + “No, but you're your father's daughter for all that, an' it's not usual to + hate the tree and spare the branches.” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose you allude to the transportation of your son; but remember, + Poll, that I was only a child then; and don't forget that had your son + been honest, he might I still be a comfort and a credit to you, instead of + a shame and a sorrow. I don't I mean, nor do I wish to hurt your feelings, + Poll; but I am anxious that you should not indulge in such bitterness of + heart against my father, who only did what he could not avoid.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Poll, “never mind that—although it isn't aisy for a + mother to forget her child wid all his faults; I am here, as I said, on + your 'account—I am here to tell you, that there is danger about you + and before you, and to put you on your guard against it. I am here, Miss + Mary M'Loughlin, and if I'm not your friend—I'm not sayin' that I am + not—still I'm the friend of one that is your friend, and that will + protect you if he can.” + </p> + <p> + “That is very strange, Poll, for I know not how I can have an enemy. What + danger could a simple inoffensive girl like me feel? I who have never + knowingly offended anybody.” + </p> + <p> + “I have said the truth,” replied Poll, “and did my duty—you're now + warned, so be on your guard and take care of yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “But how, Poll? You mention danger, yet have not told me what it is, where + it's to come from, nor how I am to guard myself against it.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm not at liberty,” said Poll, “but this I can tell you, it's + threatening you, and it comes from a quarther where you'd never look for + it.” + </p> + <p> + Mary, who was neither timid nor surprised, smiled with the confidence of + innocence, and replied, after a short pause of thought— + </p> + <p> + “Well, Poll, I have been thinking over my friends, and cannot find one + that is likely to be my enemy; at all events I am deeply obliged to you, + still if you could mention what the danger is, I would certainly feel the + obligation to be greater. As it is, I thank you again. Good evening!” + </p> + <p> + “Stay, Miss Mary,” replied Poll, walking eagerly a step or two after her, + “stay a minute; I have run a risk in doin' this—only promise me, to + keep what I said to you a saicret for a while—as well as that you + ever had any private talk wid me. Promise this.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall certainly not promise any such thing, Poll; so far from that, I + will mention every word of your conversation to my father and family, the + moment I reach home. If, as you say, there is danger before or around me, + there are none whose protection I should so naturally seek.” + </p> + <p> + “But this,” said Poll, with an appearance of deep anxiety, “this is a + matther of mere indifference to you: it's to me the danger is, if you + spake of it—to me, I say—not to you.” + </p> + <p> + “But I can have no secrets from my family.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but is it ginerous in you to put me—ay', my very life in + danger—when all you have to do is merely to say nothing? However, + since I must speak out—you'll put more than me in danger—them + that you love betther, an' that you'd never carry a light heart if + anything happened them.” + </p> + <p> + Mary started—and a light seemed suddenly to break upon her. + </p> + <p> + “How,” said she, “my engagement to Francis Harman is no secret; our + marriage at no distant day being sanctioned by both our families. Is he + involved in danger connected with your hints?” + </p> + <p> + “Deep and deadly, both to him and me. You don't know it, Miss Mary. If you + love him, as you do—as is well known you do—if you would keep + him and my poor worthless self out of danger, may be out of bloodshed—don't + mention a syllable of this meetin' to any one; but of all persons livin' + to himself, until I give you lave, until I can tell you it will be safe to + do so. See, I kneel down with hands clasped, I beg it of you for his sake + and safety!” + </p> + <p> + It was pretty well known through the parish, especially by the initiated, + that this same Poll Doolin, had in truth most of its secrets in keeping; + and that she had frequently conducted with success those rustic intrigues + which are to be found in humble, as well as in high life. The former part + of Poll's character, however, was all that had ever reached the youthful + ears of poor innocent Mary, whilst of her address as a diplomatist in the + plots and pursuits of love, she was utterly ignorant. Naturally + unsuspicious, as we have already said, she looked upon the woman's knowing + character rather as a circumstance calculated to corroborate the truth of + the mystery which she, must have discovered: and was so much moved by the + unquestionable sincerity of her manner, and the safety of her own lover, + that she assured her she would keep the secret, until permitted to divulge + it; which she begged might be at as early a period as possible. Poll + thanked her eagerly and gratefully, and in a few minutes, having made a + circuit behind the ruin, sought the lower and richer country by a + different path. + </p> + <p> + Mary unconsciously stood for some time after Poll had left her, meditating + over the strange and almost unaccountable scene which had just taken + place, when a rich voice, with which she was well acquainted, addressed + her. She started, and on turning about, found Francis Harman before her. + Twilight had now nearly passed away, and the dusk of evening was deepening + into the darkness of a summer night. + </p> + <p> + “What on earth are you thinking of alone in this place, my dear Mary, and + who was that woman who just left you?” + </p> + <p> + Mary, though firm of character, was also tender and warm of heart, and + felt deeply for those she loved. The interview with Poll, therefore, had + excited apprehensions concerning Harman's safety, which disturbed her far + more than any she felt for herself. He gave her his right arm as he spoke, + and they went on towards her father's house. + </p> + <p> + “Good God,” he exclaimed, before she had time to answer him, “what has + disturbed or alarmed you, my sweet Mary? I feel your heart beating against + my arm, in a most extraordinary manner. How is this?” + </p> + <p> + The consciousness of the injunction so solemnly and recently imposed, + distressed her exceedingly. Her love of truth was like her love of life or + of heaven, a sacred and instinctive principle which she must now not only + violate, but be forced to run into the hateful practice of dissimulation. + All this passed through her mind in a moment. + </p> + <p> + “My dear Francis, I will freely admit that the beatings of my heart are + not altogether without cause; I have been somewhat disturbed, but it will + not signify; I shall be quite well in a moment—but where did you + come from?” + </p> + <p> + “They told me you had gone up to poor Widow Carrick's—and I took the + short way, thinking to find you there. But what has disturbed you, my dear + Mary? Something has, and greatly too.” + </p> + <p> + She looked up with an affectionate smile into his face, although there + trembled a tear upon her eyelids, as she spoke— + </p> + <p> + “Do not ask me, my dear Frank; nor don't think the circumstance of much + importance. It is a little secret of mine, which I cannot for the present + disclose.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, my love, I only ask to know if the woman that left you was Poll + Doolin.” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot answer even that, Frank; but such as the secret is, I trust you + shall soon know it.” + </p> + <p> + “That is enough, my darling. I am satisfied that you would conceal nothing + from either your family or me, which might be detrimental either to + yourself or us—or which we ought to know.” + </p> + <p> + “That is true,” said she, “I feel that it is true.” + </p> + <p> + “But then on the other hand,” said he, playfully, “suppose our little + darling were in possession of a secret which we ought not to know—what + character should we bestow on the secret?” + </p> + <p> + This, though said in love and jest, distressed her so much that she was + forced to tell him so—“my dear Francis,” she replied, with as much + composure as she could assume, “do not press me on the subject;—I + cannot speak upon it now, and I consequently must throw myself on your + love and generosity only for a short time, I hope.” + </p> + <p> + “Not a syllable, my darling, on the subject until you resume it yourself—how + are Widow Carrick's sick children?” + </p> + <p> + “Somewhat better,” she replied, “the two eldest are recovering, and want + nourishment, which, with the exception of my poor contributions, they + cannot get.” + </p> + <p> + “God love and guard your kind and charitable heart, my sweet Mary,” said + he, looking down tenderly into her beautiful face, and pressing her arm + lovingly against his side. + </p> + <p> + “What a hard-hearted man that under agent, M'Clutchy, is,” she exclaimed, + her beautiful eye brightening with indignation—“do you know that + while her children were ill, his bailiff, Darby O'Drive, by his orders or + authority, or some claim or other, took away her goose and the only + half-dozen of eggs she had for them—indeed, Frank, he's a sad curse + to the property.” + </p> + <p> + “He is what an old Vandal was once called for his cruelty and oppression—the + Scourge of God,” replied Harman, “such certainly the unhappy tenantry of + the Topertoe family find him. Harsh and heartless as he is, however, what + would he be were it not for the vigilance and humanity of Mr. Hickman? But + are you aware, Mary, that his graceful son Phil was a suitor of yours?” + </p> + <p> + “Of mine—-ha, ha, ha!—oh, that's too comical, Frank—but + I am not—Had I really ever that honor?” + </p> + <p> + “Most certainly; his amiable father had the modesty to propose a + matrimonial union between your family and his!” + </p> + <p> + “I never heard of it,” replied Mary, “never;—but that is easily + accounted for—my father, I know, would not insult me by the very + mention of it.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a fact though, that the illegitimate son of the blasphemous old + squire, and of the virtuous and celebrated Kate Clank, hoped to have + united the M'Loughlin blood with his!” + </p> + <p> + “Hush!” exclaimed Mary, shuddering, “the very thought is sickening, + revolting.” + </p> + <p> + “It's not a pleasant subject, certainly,” said Harman, “and the less that + is said about it the more disgust we shall avoid, at any rate.” + </p> + <p> + Her lover having safely conducted Mary home, remained with her family only + a few minutes, as the evening was advanced, and he had still to go as far + as Castle Cumber, upon business connected with the manufactory, which + M'Loughlin and his father had placed wholly under his superintendence. + </p> + <p> + Upon what slight circumstances does the happiness of individuals, nay, + even of states and kingdoms, too frequently depend! Harman most assuredly + was incapable of altogether dismissing the circumstance of the evening—involved + in mystery as they unquestionably were—out of his mind; not that he + entertained the slightest possible suspicion of Mary's prudence or + affection; but he felt a kind of surprise at the novelty of the position + in which he saw she was placed, and no little pain in consequence of the + disagreeable necessity for silence which she admitted had been imposed on + her. His confidence in her, however, was boundless; and from this perfect + reliance on her discretion and truth, he derived an assurance that she was + acting with strict propriety under the circumstances, whatever might be + their character or tendency. + </p> + <p> + It may be necessary to mention here that a right of passage ran from + Beleeven, the name of the village in which M'Loughlin resided, to the + Castle Cumber high road, which it joined a little beyond Constitution + Cottage, passing immediately through an angle of the clump of beeches + already mentioned as growing behind the house. By this path, which + shortened the way very much, Harman, and indeed every pedestrian + acquainted with it, was in the habit of passing, and on the night in + question he was proceeding along it at a pretty quick pace, when, having + reached the beeches just alluded to, he perceived two figures, a male and + female, apparently engaged in close and earnest conversation. The distance + at first was too great to enable him to form any opinion as to who they + were, nor would he have even asked himself the question, were it not that + the way necessarily brought him pretty near them. The reader may form some + conception then of his surprise, his perplexity, and, disguise it as he + might, his pain, on ascertaining that the female was no other than Poll + Doolin, and her companion, graceful Phil himself—the gallant and + accomplished owner of Handsome Harry. + </p> + <p> + It appeared quite evident that the subject matter of their conversation + was designed for no other ears than their own, or why speak as they did in + low and guarded tones, that implied great secrecy and caution. Nay, what + proved still a plainer corroboration of this—no sooner was the noise + of his footsteps heard, than Poll squatted herself down behind the small + hedge which separated the pathway from the space on which they stood, and + this clearly with a hope of concealing her person from his observation. + Phil also turned away his face with a purpose of concealment, but the + impression left by his lank and scraggy outline, as it stood twisted + before Harman, was such as could not be mistaken. Poll's identity not only + on this occasion, but also during her hasty separation from Mary, was now + established beyond the possibility of a doubt; a fact which lent to both + her interviews a degree of mystery that confounded Harman. On thinking + over the matter coolly, he could scarcely help believing that Her + appearance here was in some way connected with the, circumstances which + had occasioned Mary so much agitation and alarm. This suspicion, however, + soon gave way to a more generous estimate of her character, and he could + not permit himself for a moment to imagine the existence of anything that + was prejudicial to her truth and affection. At the same time he felt it + impossible to prevent himself from experiencing a strong sense of anxiety, + or perhaps we should say, a feeling of involuntary pain, which lay like a + dead weight upon his heart and spirits. In truth, do what he might and + reason as he would, he could not expel from his mind the new and painful + principle which disturbed it. And thus he went on, sometimes triumphantly + defending Mary from all ungenerous suspicion, and again writhing under the + vague and shapeless surmises which the singular events of the evening sent + crowding to his imagination. His dreams on retiring to seek repose were + frightful—several times in the night he saw graceful Phil squinting + at him with a nondescript leer of vengeance and derision in his yellow + goggle eyes, and bearing Mary off, like some misshapen ogre of old, + mounted upon Handsome Harry, who appeared to be gifted with the speed of + Hark-away or flying Childers, whilst he himself could do nothing but stand + helplessly by, and contemplate the triumph of his hated rival. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time the respected father and grandfather of that worthy young + gentleman were laboring as assiduously for his advancement in life as if + he had been gifted with a catalogue of all human virtues. Old Deaker, true + to his word, addressed the very next day the following characteristic + epistle— + </p> + <p> + “To the Right Hon. Lord Cumber. + </p> + <p> + “My Lord—It is unnecessary to tell you that I was, during my life, a + plain blunt fellow in all my transactions. When I was honest, I was honest + like a man; and when I did the roguery, I did it like a open, fearless + knave, that defied the world and scorned hypocrisy. I am, therefore, the + same consistent old scoundrel as ever; or the same bluff, good-humored + rascal which your old father—who sold his country—and yourself—who + would sell it too, if you had one to sell—ever found me. To make + short work, then, I want you to dismiss that poor, scurvy devil, Hickman, + from your agency, and put that misbegotten spawn of mine in his place. I + mean Val M'Clutchy, or Val the Vulture, as they have very properly + christened him. Hickman's not the thing, in any sense. He can't manage the + people, and they impose upon him—then you suffer, of course. + Bedsides, he's an anti-ascendancy man, of late, and will go against you at + the forthcoming Election. The fellow pretends to have a conscience, and be + cursed to him—prates about the Union—preaches against + corruption—and talks about the people, as if they were fit to be + anything else than what they are. This is a pretty fellow for you to have + as an agent to your property. Now, I'll tell you what, my Lord—you + know old Deaker well. His motto is—'Let us eat, drink, and be merry, + for to-morrow we die—' I'll tell you what, I say; I have a mortgage + on your property for fourteen thousand pounds. Now, put in Val or I'll be + speaking to my lawyer about it. Put in Val, or you will never warm your + posteriors in a seat for this county, so long as I carry the key of it. In + doing so, make no wry faces about it—you will only serve yourself + and your property, and serve Val into the bargain. Val, to be sure, is as + confounded a scoundrel as any of us, but then he is a staunch Protestant; + and you ought not to be told at this time of day, that the greater the + scoundrel the better the agent. Would you have a fellow, for instance, + whose conscience, indeed, must stand between you and your interest? Would + you have some honest blockhead, who, when you are to be served by a piece + of friendly rascality, will plead scruples. If so, you are a greater fool + than I ever took you to be. Make Val your agent, and it is not you that + will suffer by him, but the people—whom, of course, no one cares a + curse about. I ought to have some claim on you, I think. Many a lift I + have given your precious old father, Tom Topertoe, when I did not think of + pleading scruples. To tell you the truth, many a dirty trick I played for + him, and never brought my conscience to account for it. Make the most of + this rascally world, and of the rascals that are in it, for we are all + alike in the grave. Put in Val, then, and don't made an enemy of + </p> + <p> + “Your old friend, + </p> + <p> + “Randal Deaker. + </p> + <p> + “P.S.—As to Val, he knows nothing of this transaction—I told + him I would say so, and I keep my word. I forgot to say that if you write + this beggarly devil, Hickman, a sharp letter for money, he may probably + save you the trouble of turning him out. I know him well—he is a + thin skinned fool, and will be apt to bolt, if you follow my advice. + </p> + <p> + “Yours as you deserve it, + </p> + <p> + “R D.” + </p> + <p> + Now, it is necessary to say here, that amidst all this pretence of open + villainy, there ran an undercurrent of cunning that might escape the + observation of most men. In truth, old Deaker was not only a knave, but a + most unscrupulous oppressor at heart, especially when he happened to get a + man in his power from whom he wished to extort a favor, or on whom he + wished to inflict an injury. In the present instance he felt perfectly + conscious of his power over the heartless profligate, to whom he wrote + such a characteristic letter, and the result shows that he neither + miscalculated the feeble principles of his correspondent, nor the + consequences of his own influence over him. By due return of post he + received a reply, of which the following is a copy:— + </p> + <p> + “Old Deaker—You have me fast, and you know it—so I suppose + must is the word; now I'll tell you what I want, you old villain; I want + two thousand pounds, and if M'Clutchy is to get the agency, I must have + the money—so there is my must as well as yours. In the meantime I + have written to Hickman on the same subject, want of money, I mean—what + the consequences may be, I know not, but I fancy I can guess them. + </p> + <p> + “Yours, + </p> + <p> + “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI.—The Life and Virtues of an Irish Absentee + </h2> + <p> + —Duties of an Irish Landlord—An Apologue on Property—Reasons + for Appointing an Agent—M'Clutchy's Notions of His Duties—Receipt + to make a Forty Shilling Freeholder. + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Henry Hickman, Esq. + </p> + <p> + “London, April 1st, 18— + </p> + <p> + “My Dear Hickman, + </p> + <p> + “I wrote to you the day before yesterday, and, as the letter was one of a + very pressing nature, I hope its influence won't be lost upon you. To you + who are so well acquainted with the cursed pickle in which I am placed, it + is unnecessary to say that I shall be fairly done up, unless you can + squeeze something for me out of those rascally tenants of mine. Fairly + done up is not the proper term either; for between you and me, I strongly + suspect a young fellow called Swingler, an ironmonger's son, of giving me + a twist too much, on more than one occasion. He was introduced, that is, + proposed as a member of our club, by Sir Robert Ratsbane, whose + grandfather was a druggist, and seconded by Lord Loadstone, the celebrated + lady-killer, as a regular pigeon, who dropped, by the death of old 'burn + the wind,' into half a million at least. The fellow did appear to be a + very capital speculation, but the whole thing, however, was a trick, as I + strongly suspect; for after losing to a tolerably smart tune, our + gentleman began to illustrate the doctrine of reaction, and has, under the + character of a pigeon, already fleeced half a score of us. Last week I + suffered to the tune of eight hundred—Sir Heavyhead to that of + twelve—Bill Swag five—and the Hon. Tom Trickman himself, who + scarcely ever loses, gave bills for six fifties. I can't stand this, + Hickman, that is, I cannot afford to stand it. What is fifteen thousand a + year to a man like me, who must support his rank, or be driven to the + purgatorial alternative of being imprisoned on his own estate? Hickman, + you have no bowels for me, although you can have for the hard-fisted boors + on my property, who wont pay up as they ought, and all through your + indolence and neglect. You must send me money, get it where you will; beg, + borrow, rob, drive, cant, sell out—for money I must have. Two + thousand within a fortnight, and no disappointment, or I'm dished. You + know not the demands upon me, and therefore you, naturally enough, think + very easily—much too easily—of my confounded difficulties. If + you had an opera girl to keep, as I have—and a devilish expensive + appendage the affectionate jade is—perhaps you might feel a little + more Christian sympathy for me than you do. If you had the expense of my + yacht—my large stud at Melton Mowbry and Doncaster, and the yearly + deficits in my betting book, besides the never ending train of jockies, + grooms, feeders, trainers, <i>et hoc genus omne</i>—to meet, it is + probable, old boy, you would not feel so boundless an interest, as you say + you do, in the peace and welfare of another man's tenantry, and all this + at that other man's expense. You're confoundedly unreasonable, Hickman. + Why feel, or pretend to feel, more for these fellows, their barelegged + wives, and ragged brats, than you do for a nobleman of rank, to whom you + are deeply indebted. I mean you no offence, Hickman; you are in other + respects an honest fellow enough, and if possessed of only a little less + heart, as the times go, and more skill in raising money from these people, + you would be invaluable to such a distressed devil as I am. As it is, I + regret to say, that you are more a friend to my tenantry than to myself, + which is a poor qualification for an agent. In fact, we, the Irish + aristocracy living here, or absentees as you call us, instead of being + assailed by abuse, want of patriotism, neglect of duties, and all that + kind of stuff, have an especial claim upon the compassion of their + countrymen. If you knew what we, with limited means and encumbered + properties, must suffer in attempting to compete with the aristocracy of + this country, who are enormously rich, you would say that we deserve + immortal credit for holding out and keeping up appearances as we do—not + that I think we always come off scott-free from their ridicule, especially + when they see the shifts to which we are put, in order to stretch onward + at their own pace. However, we must drink when we are thirsty, as well as + they, and if the water happen to be low in the cistern, which, indeed, is + mostly the case with us, we must, as the rook in the fable did with the + pebbles, throw in rack-renting, drivings, executions, mortgages, loans, + &c, in order to bring it within our reach—for there is ingenuity + in everything, as the proverb says, except in roasting of eggs. + </p> + <p> + “Come, then, Hickman, set to work at once. My yacht has been damaged by a + foolish wager I made to run her through a creek of reefs at low water, so + that the mere repairs will cost me a cool two hundred at least. Besides + this, I have pledged myself to buy my charming little Signora a pair of + Blenheim spaniels that she has fallen in love with, for which I shall have + to fork out a hundred and fifty down. I say, then, again, my dear Hickman, + money, money; money by <i>any</i> means, but by <i>all</i> means money; <i>rem, + sed quocunque modo rem</i>. + </p> + <p> + “By the way is there not a man there, a kind of under-fellow in something—agent, + I believe—some time appointed, named M'Snitchy, or M'Smatchey, + M'Clutchy, or some such euphonious appellative? Somebody, old Deaker I + think, once mentioned him to me in strong terms, and said he might become + capable of being useful; and you know, Hickman, as well as I do, that + every property circumstanced as mine is, requires a useful fellow of that + particular description. For instance, I dare say, there are certain + proceedings connected with your duty to which you have no great + inclination, and, under these circumstances, would it not be prudent at + least to resort to the agency of somebody like this M'Clutchy; a fellow + not overburthened with too strong a perception of the necessary pressure. + But the truth is, if I proceed in this manner, your humanity, as the cant + goes, will take the alarm; you will say that my residence abroad has not + improved my principles; and that I am rather strongly tainted with club + morality, and the ethics of the gaming, house. So would you, perhaps, if + you breathed my atmosphere, and were exposed to my temptations. But now I + am preaching, and not to the right purpose either; so as I said before, I + say again—money, money, money. + </p> + <p> + “I am, my dear Hickman, “Thy friend in distress, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + Henry Hickman, Esq., to the Right Honorable Lord Viscount Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + Primrose Hill, April 18— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: + </p> + <p> + “I have had the honor of receiving both your communications, and have read + them, especially that of the first instant, with great pain. I need not + tell you, that I have been your father's friend—that I have been, + and still am your friend, and as such, from my age and anxiety for your + lordship's welfare and reputation, I must take the liberty of one who has + both sincerely at heart, to write to you in terms which a mere agent could + not with propriety use. As this letter, therefore, is written for your own + eye only, you will be good enough to remember that in everything severe + and home-spoken in it, the friend, and not the agent speaks—at the + same time, I must admit, that it is from the knowledge gained as an agent + that I remonstrate as a friend. + </p> + <p> + “It is now beyond a doubt, my Lord, that your position is one surrounded + with difficulties scarcely to be surmounted, unless by measures which I, + as an honest man, cannot permit myself to adopt. So long as the course of + life, which it has pleased your lordship's better taste and judgment to + pursue, did not bring within the compass of my duties as your agent, the + exhibition of principles at variance with humanity and justice, so long + did I fulfil those duties with all the ability and zeal for your just + interests which I could exert. But now I perceive, that you have driven me + to that line beyond which I cannot put my foot, without dishonor to + myself. I have been the agent of your property, my Lord, but I shall never + become the instrument of your vices; and believe me, this is a distinction + which in our unhappy country, is too seldom observed. Many an agent, my + Lord, has built himself a fortune out of the very necessities of his + employer, and left to his children the honorable reflection that their + independence originated from profligacy on the one hand and dishonesty on + the other. You see, my Lord, I find it necessary to be very plain with + you, and to say, that however you may feel yourself disposed to follow the + one course, I shall not rival you in the other. I cannot become a scourge + inflicted by your necessities, not to use a harsher word, upon a suffering + people, who are already exhausted and provoked by an excess of severity + and neglect. Think of the predicament in which you would have me stand—of + the defence which you place, in my lips. Should your tenantry ask me—'why + are you thus cruel and oppressive-upon us?' what reply could I make but + this—'I am thus cruel because his lordship is profligate. He wants + money to support his-mistress, to feed her vanities and excesses, and you + must endure distress and privation, that the insatiable rapacity of a + courtezan may be gratified. His lordship, too, has horses and dogs, in the + welfare of which he feels a deep interest.' 'But why does he not feel an + interest in us?' 'So he does, for are not you the persons by whose toil + and labor he is enabled to support them all?' 'So that in point of fact, + we are made indirectly the agents of his crimes. The privations which we + suffer—the sweat of our brows—the labor of our hands, go to + the-support of his wantonness, his luxury, and his extravagance! This, + then, is his interest in us?' 'Yes—<i>work, that you may feed them</i>—starve, + that his mistress may riot in wantonness; perish your children that his + dogs may be fed!' In such a position as this, my Lord, I shall never place + myself, but you may easily find many that will. The moment your + necessities are known, knavery will be immediately at work, and assume its + guardianship over folly. Indeed there is a monarchical spirit in knavery, + which has never yet been observed. The knave keeps his fool, as did the + kings of old, with this only difference, and a material one it is—that + whilst the fool always lived at the king's expense, the knave lives at the + fool's. How your lordship may feel under the new administration I cannot + say, but I am inclined to think, you will not find it a distinction + without a difference. By this, of course, you understand, my Lord, that I + at once resign my agency. + </p> + <p> + “And now, my Lord, in addition to many other unavailable remonstrances + made by me, not only against your licentious habits as a man, but against + your still more indefensible conduct as a landlord, allow me to address + you in a spirit of honesty, which I fear is not easily found among the + class to which I belong. I look upon this as a duty which I owe less to + you than to my country, because I am satisfied that the most important + service which can be rendered to any man, not ashamed of either your + habits or principles, is to lay before him a clear, but short and simple + statement, of that which constitutes his duty as a landlord—I should + say an Irish landlord—for there is a national idiosyncrasy of + constitution about such a man, which appears to prevent him from properly + discharging his duties, either as a friend to himself, or a just man to + his tenantry. + </p> + <p> + “The first principle, therefore, which an Irish landlord—or, indeed + any landlord—should lay down, as his fixed and unerring guide, is + ever to remember that his tenantry are his best friends—his only + patrons—and that instead of looking down upon them with contempt, + neglect, or even indifference, he should feel that they are his chief + benefactors, who prop his influence, maintain his rank, and support his + authority. + </p> + <p> + “The second is—that the duties of the landlord to his tenantry are + much greater, and far more important than those of his tenantry to him, + and should at least be quite as equitably and attentively discharged. + </p> + <p> + “The third is—to remember that the great mass of the population in + Ireland belong to one creed, and the great bulk of landed proprietors to + another; and to take care that none of those fierce and iniquitous + prerogatives of power, which are claimed and exercised by those who + possess property, shall be suffered, in the name of religion, or politics, + or prejudice of any kind, to disturb or abridge the civil or religious + rights of the people, and thus weaken the bonds which should render the + interests of landlord and tenant identical. Prejudice so exercised is + tyranny. Every landlord should remember that the soil is of no religion. + </p> + <p> + “The fourth is—simply to remember that those who live upon our + property have bodies and souls, passions, reflections, and feelings like + ourselves. That they are susceptible of hunger, cold, grief, joy, + sickness, and sorrow—that they love their children and domestic + relatives, are attached to their religion, bound by strong and heartfelt + ties to the soil they live on, and are, in fact, moved by all those + general laws and principles of life and nature, which go to make up social + and individual happiness—to remember, in short, that they are men + who have higher destinies in life, than merely administering to the wants, + excesses, or crimes of others; and that no condition has ever yet been + known to subsist between landlord and tenant, or even between man and man, + by which one party is required to surrender comfort, freedom, and + enjoyment, in fact, all that life is good for, merely to gratify the + wants, vices, or ambition of the other. + </p> + <p> + “The fifth and last is—not by oppression, cruelty, or rapacity, to + goad the people into madness and outrage, under the plausible name of law + or justice; or to drive the national mind—which is a clear one—into + reflections that may lead it to fall back upon first principles, or force + it to remember that the universal consent by which the rights of property + are acknowledged, may, under the exasperation of overstrained pressure, in + a land so peculiarly circumstanced as Ireland is, be altogether withheld, + and thus its whole foundations shaken or overturned, and the justice of + individual claims and prescriptive right lost in the tumult. + </p> + <p> + “These principles are simple, my Lord, but they ought at least to be + better known, or what would be still more desirable, better practised. As, + however, my paper is nearly filled, I shall finish my communication with a + short fab!e, to which I beg your lordship's serious attention. + </p> + <p> + “There lived a man once, who was foolish enough to entertain a senseless + prejudice against cows, because they did not give milk all the year round. + This man was married, and of course, had a numerous family of children, + and being very lazy and improvident, depended principally upon the + kindliness of an excellent cow, whose milk was the chief means of his + support and theirs. At length in the due course of time, the poor cow, as + every one must know, began to yield it in diminished quantities, and as it + happened to be a severe year, and as the lazy man we speak of had made no + provision for its occurrence, it is unnecessary to say that he and his + family were put to the greatest straits for subsistence. Finding, after + much deliberation, that the poor animal, which they kicked and cudgelled + to excess could not change the laws of nature, or afford them that which + she did not possess, it was determined by her proprietor, that as she + failed in supplying them with sufficient milk they should try the fleams, + and have recourse to her blood, in order to eke out their support. + Accordingly she was bled, along with being milked; but if the quantity of + milk she gave before was little, it now became less, so that in proportion + as they drew upon the one the other diminished, as was but natural. In + this way they proceeded, milking and bleeding the poor animal at the same + time, not only without any benefit to themselves, but with a certain + prospect of her ultimate loss, when one day the cow, after having + ruminated for some time on the treatment she was receiving, began to + reflect that she could not be much worse, or rather that she must soon + altogether sink under this system of double drainage. 'Well' thought she, + 'I feel how matters must close with me at last; I am indeed near the end + of my tether; what have I now to fear when I know that I cannot be worse? + And if I am to die, as I must, is it not better to have satisfaction for + my sufferings'? Accordingly, me next morning when her owner went to get + blood for their breakfast, it so happened that the cow thrust a horn into + him, and he was found lying a corpse under her lifeless carcase—the + last drop of her blood having been expended under the final operation of + the fleams. My Lord, the moral of this is as obvious as it is fearful—and + fearfully have the circumstances of the country, and the principles of + such men as you, caused it to be illustrated. If landlords will press too + severely upon the functions of human suffering and patience, it is not to + be surprised, although it is to be deplored, that where no legal remedy + exists against individual cruelty or rapacity, or that plausible + selfishness, which is the worst species of oppression—that the law, + I say, which protects only the one party should be forgotten or despised + by the other, and a fiercer code of vengeance substituted in its stead. + </p> + <p> + “With respect to Mr. M'Clutchy, surely your lordship must remember that by + your own letter he was appointed under agent more than three years ago. + </p> + <p> + “If, after the many remonstrances I have had occasion to make against his + general conduct to the tenants, you consider him a useful man upon your + property, you will, in that case, have to abide the consequences of your + confidence in him. You are, at all events, duly forewarned. + </p> + <p> + “I now must beg leave, my Lord, to render up my trust, to resign my + situation as the agent of your estates—I do so with pain, but the + course of your lordship's life has left me no other alternative. I cannot + rack and goad your tenants, nor injure your own property. I cannot + paralyze industry, cramp honest exertion, or distress poverty still + further, merely to supply necessities which are little less than criminal + in yourself and ruinous to your tenantry. + </p> + <p> + “Believe me, my Lord, I would not abandon you in your difficulties, if I + saw any honorable means of extricating you from them. You know, however, + that every practicable step has been taken for that purpose, but without + effect—your property should grow rapidly indeed, in order to keep + pace with the increasing and incessant demands which are made upon it. We + can borrow no more, and the knowledge of that fact alone, ought to set a + limit to your extravagance. Excuse this plainness, my Lord, it is well + meant and void of intentional offence. + </p> + <p> + “I shall be ready in a few days to deliver all books, papers, documents, + &c, connected With the property, to any person duly authorized by your + Lordship to receive them. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, &c, + </p> + <p> + “Henby Hickman.” + </p> + <p> + The Right Honorable Lord Cumber to Valentine M'Clutchy:— + </p> + <p> + Doncaster, April, 18— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: + </p> + <p> + “In consequence of certain communications which have passed between Mr. + Hickman and myself, I have determined that he shall no longer act in the + capacity of my agent. The situation is therefore open, and, until a + competent person shall be appointed, I authorize you to discharge its + duties, and receive from him a correct statement of all accounts between + us, together with all deeds, leases, books, papers, &c, in his + possession; you first having procured me adequate security, the amount of + which will be determined by M'Slime, my law agent, who will join or aid + you in making all necessary arrangements. + </p> + <p> + “You will also have the goodness, as soon afterwards as you feel it + practicable, to transmit me a bond fide account of the Ballyrocket and + Tulygrindem estates, their capability of improvement, condition of the + tenantry, what leases are expired, if any, and those which will soon drop, + with a view of seeing what can be made out of it. In this, also, M'Slime + will aid you. + </p> + <p> + “As to the person who may succeed Hickman, as a necessary preliminary he + must lay down two thousand pounds, in the shape of an equivalent for the + appointment. Could you within a fortnight or so, raise so much? If so, let + me hear from you without delay, as it is not unlikely in that case, I may + appoint yourself. + </p> + <p> + “By the way, do you understand the manufacture of forty shilling + free-holders in an economical way, because if you do, it would be a + desideratum. Parliament, it is said, will be dissolved in June, and I + want, as well as I can remember, nearly two hundred votes. My brother lost + the last election by something about that number, and I know he feels very + anxious to get into parliament for many reasons. He is now on the + continent, where he has been for the last three years.” + </p> + <p> + Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to the Right Hon. Lord Viscount Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: + </p> + <p> + “I have had the honor of receiving your Lordship's kind communication, to + which I hasten to make the earliest possible reply. And first, my Lord, + allow me to return sincere thanks for your warm kindness, in promising to + appoint me your agent. You may rest assured, my Lord, that I will go + through my duties as such without favor or affection to any one, barring + your lordship, whose interests it will night and day become my duty to + study. With, respect to the loan your lordship makes allusion to, I fear + it will be out of my power to raise it—that is to the full amount; + but if one-half would do, I might by the aid of friends get it together. + As for security, I trust it is only necessary to say, that Randal Deaker + and Cadwallader Tullywagger, Esqrs., are ready to give it to any amount, + so that there is no difficulty there at all events. + </p> + <p> + “On looking again at your lordship's kind letter, it appears possible that + I made a mistake in considering the two thousand as a loan; but on the + other hand, there is not a man living, who respects the high principles + and delicate feelings of our aristocracy more than I do, and the + consequence was, that I feared in supposing it otherwise than a loan, I + might offend your lordship's keen sense of honor, which I pledge my credit + and reputation would grieve my heart even to think of. Under this + impression, then, I shall continue to believe it a loan, until I have the + honor of hearing from your lordship again. + </p> + <p> + “Your anxiety, my Lord, to ascertain the state of your property and the + condition of your tenantry is certainly honorable to yourself, as being a + direct proof of the generous interest you feel in their welfare. It is + fortunate in this instance, that your lordship should apply to a man who + has had the opportunities of becoming acquainted with both. True, I am a + simple-minded man, my Lord, and if I possess one quality more than another + it is a love of truth, and a slow, but straightforward perseverance in + whatever is right. It is to this, always under Providence, that I owe + everything. I grant indeed, that it ill becomes me to speak in this manner + of myself, but my object in doing so is, that as I am about to enter into + communications touching your lordship's tenants and property, you may be + induced to place the fullest confidence in whatever I shall say. Many a + time, indeed, my excellent and worthy friend, Mr. Hickman, has made the + same observation, and I felt it gratifying in the highest degree to hear + this from a man who is truth itself, and whose only fault is—if it + be one—that his heart is too kind, and rather easily imposed on by + those who deal in fraud and cunning. A man like him, who, if he cannot + speak well of an absent friend, will be silent, is a jewel in this life + which ought to be worn in the very core of the heart. + </p> + <p> + “With respect to the Ballyracket estate, of which I shall speak first, I + cannot report so favorably as I could wish. The task, in fact, is to me, + personally, a very painful one; especially with reference to that well + meaning and estimable gentleman, Mr. Hickman. In the first place, my Lord, + the tenantry are not at all in arrears, a circumstance which is by no + means in favor of the landlord, especially an Irish one. Every one knows + that an Irish landlord has other demands upon his tenantry besides the + payment of their rents. Is there no stress, for instance, to be laid upon + his political influence, which cannot be exerted unless through their + agency? Now a tenant not in arrears to his landlord is comparatively + independent, but it is not with an independent tenantry that a landlord + can work his wishes. No, my Lord; the safe principle is to keep the tenant + two or three gales behind, and if he fails in submission, or turns + restiff, and becomes openly contumacious, then you have the means of + rectifying the errors of his judgment in your own hands, and it can be + done with the color of both law and justice, behind which any man may + stand without the imputation of harsh motives, or an excessive love of + subordination. I am sorry that Mr. Hickman should differ with me on this + point, for he is a man whose opinions are very valuable on many things, + with the exception of his amiable and kind-hearted obstinacy. + </p> + <p> + “The next disadvantage to your interests, my Lord, is another error—I + am sorry to be forced to say it—of Mr. Hickman. That gentleman is an + advocate for education and the spread of knowledge. Now if an agent were + as much devoted to the interests of the people as he is and ought to be to + those of the landlord, this principle might pass; but as I take it, that + the sole duty of an agent is to extend the interest of his employer + exclusively, so am I opposed to any plan or practice by which the people + may be taught to think too clearly. For let me ask, my Lord, what class of + persons, at the approach of an election, for instance, or during its + continuance, are most available for our interests? Who are driven without + reluctance, without thought, or without reason, in blind and infatuated + multitudes, to the hustings? Certainly not those who have been educated, + or taught to think and act for themselves; but the poor and the ignorant. + And, my Lord, is not the vote of an ignorant man as valid in law as one + who is enlightened? For these reasons, then, I do not approve of the new + schools which Mr. Hickman has established; and I was pleased to hear that + your lordship was sufficiently awake to your own interests, to decline + granting them any support. No, my Lord; an educated people will be a + thinking people—a thinking people will be an independent people—but + an independent people will not be a manageable people; and if that is not + placing the subject in a satisfactory light, I know not what is. + </p> + <p> + “I need scarcely assure you, my Lord, that in my own humble way, I did + everything I reasonably could to discountenance the education system. I + even went so far as to prevent several of the tenants from sending their + children to these schools; but, as usual, I experienced but little + gratitude at their hands, or at those of their parents. This, however, was + not so much owing to my interference, as to the accidental circumstance of + three or four of them having been hanged or transported for crimes which + they were base enough to impute to the ignorance occasioned by my + principles—for so they spoke. + </p> + <p> + “Such then is the condition of the Ballyracket tenantry. They are not in + arrears, and you may consequently guess at the wretched state of their + moral feelings. They are, in fact, every day becoming more aware of the + very kind of knowledge which we don't wish them to possess. They do not + slink aside when they see you now; on the contrary, they stand erect, and + look you fearlessly in the face. Upon my credit and reputation this is + truth—melancholy truth, my Lord—and I fear that at the next + election you will find it so to your cost. + </p> + <p> + “I have lost no time in ascertaining the other particulars mentioned in + your lordship's letter. The leases of three townlands expired on March + last. They are Derrydowny, Cracknaboulteen, and Ballyweltem. The principal + tenant of Derrydowny is a very respectable widow—-one Mrs. M'Swaddle—a + woman of serious habits, if not of decided piety. She has three daughters, + all of whom sit under the ministration of a Mr. Bolthan—which is + pronounced Bottom—a young preacher, belonging to the Methodist + connection. They are to all appearance well in the world, keep a + conversation car, and have the reputation of being very honest and saving—Old + M'Swaddle himself was a revenue collector, and it is said, died richer + than they are willing to admit. Cracknaboulteen is altogether in the + possession of the celebrated family of the M'Kegs—or, as they are + called, the Five Sols—the name of each being Solomon, which is + shortened into Sol. There is lame Sol, blind Sol, long Sol, uncertain Sol, + and Sol of the mountain. They are celebrated distillers of poteen whiskey, + but are not rich. The estate, in fact, would be better without them, were + it not for their votes. The townland of Ballyweltem is principally the + property of a wild faction, named M'Kippeen, whose great delight is to + keep up perpetual feud against an opposite faction of the O'Squads, who on + their part are every whit as eager for the fray as their enemies. These + are also poor enough, and in an election are not to be depended on. I + should say, in addition to this, that several renewal, fines will fall in + during the course of the winter. I shall, however, examine the leases, and + other documents, still more searchingly, and see what can be got out of + it, and how far we can go. + </p> + <p> + “The Tullygrindem estate is, I am sorry to say, in a still more + disheartening condition. There is a very bitter and knowing family living + on the townland of Beleeven, named M'Loughlin, who contrive to spread + dangerous and destructive principles among the tenantry. They are cunning, + unscrupulous, and vindictive, but cautious, plausible, and cloaked with + the deepest hypocrisy. I have been endeavoring for years to conciliate, or + rather, reform them by kindness, but hitherto without effect; whether I + shall ultimately succeed in purifying this fountain-head of bigotry and + unconstitutional principle—I do not wish to use a shorter, but a + much stronger term—I cannot yet say. I shall, at all events, from a + sense of justice to you, my Lord, and of kindness—mistaken it may + be, I grant you—to them, continue to make the desirable attempt. My + amiable friend, Hickman, has certainly been made the dupe of their + adroitness, but, indeed, he is too simple and credulous for this world, as + every kind-hearted man, with great benevolence and little judgment, + usually is. If I had not risen honestly and honorably, as I trust I may + say, through the gradations of office upon this property, I think it + probable I, might myself have been deceived and misled by the natural and + seductive tact of this dangerous family. Mr. Hickman espouses their + quarrel, not exactly their quarrel, but their cause against me; but that + is so completely in accordance with his easy simplicity of character, and + his pardonable love of popularity, that it rather endears him to, me than + otherwise. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, I may say, my Lord, candidly and confidentially, that there is a + spirit abroad upon your estates, which requires to be vigilantly watched, + and checked with all due and reasonable promptitude; I allude principally + to these M'Loughlins, and when I state that my excellent and well disposed + friend is absolutely popular among your tenantry, even although he made + them pay up to the very last gale, and that I am by no means in good odor + with them, you will not be surprised when I furnish your lordship with a + key to this same state of feeling which exists so generally in this + country. This, then, my Lord, is the secret:—whenever an Irish agent + devotes himself honestly to the wants, wishes, and interests of his + employer, especially if he be needy and pressed for money, so sure will he + become unpopular with the tenantry. Now, I am somewhat unpopular with the + tenantry, and my amiable friend, Hickman, is beloved by them; but I think + your lordship by this time understands the why and the wherefore on both + sides. As your agent, my Lord, I should regret such popularity, at the + same time, I think the intentions of poor, sweet, amiable Hickman's heart, + are such as we must all love and admire. + </p> + <p> + “With respect, my Lord, to the manufacture of the “forties,” as a certain + comical class of freeholders are termed, I could have easily undertaken to + double the number you mention, on the most reasonable terms, were it not + for the discouraging system adopted by Mr. Hickman. As it is, I must see + what can be done; but your lordship knows that I can take no step either + in this or anything else, until my appointment shall be finally confirmed. + Perhaps you are not aware of the remarkable document, on the subject in + question, which has recently gone its rounds in this country. It is called— + </p> + <p> + “'A RECEIPT TO MAKE A FORTY SHILLING FREEHOLDER.' + </p> + <p> + “'Take the poorest Irishman you can get, he must be destitute and + ignorant, for then he will be slavish, give him a mud cabin, but no + education; let the former be a bad model of an indifferent pig-stye, and + held at thrice its value. Put him to repose on a comfortable bed of damp + straw, with his own coat and his wife's petticoat, for bed-clothes. Pamper + him on two half meals of potatoes and point per day—with water <i>ad + libitum</i>. For clothing—let him have a new shirt once every three + years—to give him exercise and keep him clean—a hat once in + every seven, and brogues whenever he can get them. His coat and breeches—lest + he might grow too independent—must be worn upon the principle of the + Highlander's knife, which, although a century in the family, was never + changed, except sometimes the handle and sometimes the blade. Let his + right to vote be founded upon a freehold property of six feet square, or + as much as may be encompassed by his own shift, and take care that there + be a gooseberry bush in the centre of it; he must have from four to ten + children, as a proof of his standing in society, all fashionably dressed, + and coming at the rate of one every twelve months. Having thus, by a + liberal system of feeding and clothing, rendered him strong for labor, you + must work him from dark to dark—pay him fourpence a day for three + quarters of the year, with permission to beg or starve for the remainder. + When in health task him beyond his strength, and when sick neglect him—for + there is nothing so beautiful as kindness in a landlord, and gratitude in + a tenant—and thus will your virtues become reciprocal. He must live + under a gradation of six landlords, so that whoever defaults, he may + suffer—and he will have the advantage of six tyrants instead of one. + Your agent is to wheedle, and your bailiff to bully him; the one must + promise, and the other threaten; but if both fail, you must try him + yourself. Should he become intractable under all this, you must take purer + measures.—Compliment him on his wife—praise and admire his + children—play upon his affections, and corrupt him through his very + virtues—for that will show that you love your country and her people + better than your own interests. Place a promise of independence on one + side of him, but a ruined cottage and extermination on the other. When all + his scruples are thus honorably overcome, and his conscience skilfully + removed, take him for twenty minutes or so out of his rags, put him into a + voting suit that he may avoid suspicion, bring him up to the poll—steep + him in the strongest perjury, then strip him of his voting suit, clap him + into his rags, and having thus fitted him for the perpetration of any + treachery or crime, set him at large once more, that he may disseminate + your own principles upon your own property, until you may require him + again. Having thus honestly discharged your duty to God and your country, + go calmly to your pillow, where you can rest in the consciousness of + having done all that a virtuous man and true patriot can do, to promote + the comfort and independence of his fellow creatures.' + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, &c., &c., “VAL M'CLUTCHY,” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney at Law: + </p> + <p> + “DEAR SIR: + </p> + <p> + “Enclosed is a letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, which I will trouble you to + forward to him as soon as you can. It contains his appointment to the + vacant agency, together with the proper power of attorney, and I have + every reason to hope that my property will improve under him. I did think + it no breach of any honorable principle to make him advance, by way of + compensation, the sum of two thousand pounds. It is a thing very usually + done, I am aware, and by men who would not bear any imputation against + their honor. But I know not how it is, his letter has deterred me from + taking the money in that light. It would be certainly too bad to allow a + person of his birth and standing in the world to teach one of mine a + lesson in delicacy of feeling. For this reason, then, let him advance the + money on the usual terms of loan:—that you can adjust between you. + All I ask is, that you will not lose one moment of unnecessary time in + accomplishing this business, and remitting the money. Two thousand in a + fortnight will be of more value to me than four in a month, owing to the + peculiar difficulties in which I am placed. + </p> + <p> + “Yours, CUMBER. + </p> + <p> + “P.S.—I say, my little saint, I hope you are as religious as ever—but + in the meantime as it is not unlikely—but on the contrary very + probable—if not altogether certain—that I shall be in Ireland + should the election take place, I trust you will have the kindness to let + me know if there's e'er a pretty girl in the neighborhood—that wants + a friend and protector—ha, ha, ha—as great a sinner as ever, + you see—but for that reason you know the more entitled to your + prayers for my conversion. The greater the saint, the greater the sinner + now-a-days—or is it the other way? I forget. + </p> + <p> + “CUMBER.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Val M'Clutchy, enclosed in the above: + </p> + <p> + “Dear Sir: + </p> + <p> + “I am very happy in appointing you to the important situation of my agent, + with all the necessary powers and authority to act as may best seem to you + for my advantage. The money I will take on your own terms, only I beg that + you will lose no time in remitting it. I agree with you in thinking that + Mr. Hickman, however well meaning, was deficient in firmness and + penetration of character, so far as the tenants were concerned; and I + would recommend you to avoid the errors which you perceived in him. With + many principles laid down in your letter I agree, but not with all. For + instance, if I understand you right, you would appear to advocate too much + indulgence to the tenantry at my expense; for what else is allowing them + to run into arrears. This certainly keeps the money out of my pocket, and + you cannot surely expect me to countenance such a proceeding as that:—whilst + I say this, it is due to you that I consider your ultimate object a + correct one. Property loses a great portion of its value, unless a + landlord's influence over the people be as strong as his right to the + soil; and for this reason, the duty of every landlord is to exercise as + powerful a control over the former, and get as much out of the latter as + he can. The landlords, to be sure, are of one religion and the people of + another; but so long as we can avail ourselves of the latter for political + purposes, we need care but little about their creed. The results in this + case are precisely the same as if the country were Protestant, and that is + as much as we want. Indeed I question if the whole Irish population were + Protestant to-morrow, whether the fact would not be against us. I now + speak as identifying myself with British interests. Would we find them as + manageable and as easily shaped to our purposes? I fear not. They would + demand education, knowledge, and all the fulness of civil liberty; they + would become independent, they would think for themselves, and in what + predicament would that place us? Could we then work our British interests, + foster British prejudices, and aid British ambition as we do? Certainly + not, unless we had the people with us, and without them we are nothing. + </p> + <p> + “On the whole, then, so long as we continue to maintain our proper + influence over them, I think, without doubt, we are much safer as we + stand. + </p> + <p> + “With respect to the discharge of your duty, your own judgment will be a + better guide than mine. As I said before, avoid Hickman's errors; I fear + he was too soft, credulous, and easily played upon. Excess of feeling, in + fact, is a bad qualification in an agent. Humanity is very well in its + place; but a strong sense of duty is worth a thousand of it. It strikes + me, that you would do well to put on a manner in your intercourse with the + tenants, as much opposed to Hickman's as possible. Be generally angry, + speak loud, swear roundly, and make them know their place. To bully and + browbeat is not easily done with success, even in a just cause, although + with a broken-spirited people it is a good gift; but after all I apprehend + the best method is just to adapt your bearing to the character of the + person you have to deal with, if you wish, as you ought, to arrive at that + ascendency of feeling on your part, and subserviency on theirs, which are + necessary to keep them in proper temper for your purposes. + </p> + <p> + “Your receipt for making a forty shilling freeholder contains many + excellent ingredients, but I do not think it was honestly drawn up; that + is, I believe it to be the production of some one who was not friendly to + that system of franchise. I have little else to say, except that you will + find it necessary I think to be very firm and rigorous. Remember that we + are here to-day, and gone to-morrow; so upon this principle keep them + moving at a steady pace. In three words, think of my difficulties, and get + all you can out of them—still remembering, as we say in the ring, + never to train them below their strength, for that would be the loss of + our own battle. + </p> + <p> + “Yours, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney-at-law, to Lord Cumber, + </p> + <p> + “My esteemed Lord: + </p> + <p> + “I had the unmerited honor—for, indeed, to a man sensible of his + many frailties as I am, I feel it is an unmerited honor—to receive + any communication from one whom the Lord hath exalted to a place of such + high rank in this world, as that which your lordship so worthily fills. It + gives me great gratification, my Lord, to learn from your last letter that + you have appointed my friend, Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, as your agent. I am + not in the habit of attributing such circumstances as this—being, as + they generally are, matters of mere worldly prudence and convenience—to + any over-ruling cause from above; but truly the appointment of such a man + at this particular time, looks as if there were a principle of good at + work for your lordship's interests. May you continue, as you do, to + deserve it! Your change of agents is, indeed, one that, through the + talent, energy, and integrity of Mr. M'Clutchy, is likely to redound much + and largely to your own benefit. In his capacity of under agent, I have + had frequent opportunities of transacting business with him; and when I + contrast his quickness, clearness, honesty, and skill, with the evident + want of——but no, my Lord; far be it from me, as a Christian + man, to institute any rash comparison either in favor of my + fellow-creature or against him, so long as sin and prejudice even for that + which is good, and frailty, may render us, as they often do, liable to + error. In Mr. M'Clutchy it is possible I may be mistaken; in Mr. Hickman + it is possible I may be mistaken—I am not infallible—I am + frail—a very sinner, but not removed wholly, I would trust, out of + the range of grace. My Lord, I say again, that, as a conscientious man, + and as far as mere human reason—which is at best but short-sighted—enables + me to judge, I am truly cheered in spirit by this, I trust, providential + change in the agency of your property. My Lord, in my various + correspondence, I generally endeavor to make it a rule not to forget my + Christian duties, or, so to speak, to cast a single grain of the good seed + into the hearts of those to whom I am privileged to write. The calls of + religion are, indeed, strong upon us, if we permitted ourselves to listen + to them as we ought. Will your lordship then pardon me for reminding you, + that, however humble the instrument, I have before now been the honored + means of setting your godly examples of charity before the world, with the + single-hearted purpose and hope that it might imitate your virtues. There + is in the neighborhood a case at present of great distress, in the person + of a widow and her three young children, who have been left destitute by + the guilt and consequent deportation of her unhappy husband to Australia, + for the crime of feloniously abstracting live mutton. I defended him + professionally, or, I should say—although I do not boast of it—with + an eye to the relief of his interesting wife, but without success; and + what rendered his crime more unpardonable, he had the unparalleled + wickedness to say, that he was instigated to it by the ill-advice and + intemperate habits of this amiable woman. Will your lordship, then, allow + me to put your honored name in the list of her Christian friends? Allow + me, my Lord, to subscribe myself, + </p> + <p> + “Your lordship's frail, unworthy, “But faithful and honored servant, + “Solomon M'Slime.” + </p> + <p> + “P.S.—With respect to your jocose and ironical postscript, may I + again take the liberty of throwing in a word in season. If your lordship + could so far assume a proper Christian seriousness of character, as to + render the act of kindness and protection on your part such as might + confer a competent independence upon a female of religious dispositions, I + doubt not, should your lordship's charity continue unabated on your + arrival here, that some such desirable opportunity might offer, as that of + rescuing a comely but desolate maiden from distress. + </p> + <p> + “There is, indeed, a man here living on your lordship's property, who has + a daughter endowed with a large portion of that vain gift called beauty. + Her father and family are people of bad principle, without conscience or + honesty, and, withal, utterly destitute of religion—not but that + they carry themselves very plausibly to the world. Among such people, my + Lord, it is not possible that this engaging damsel, who is now so youthful + and innocent, could resist the evil influence of the principles that + prevail in her family. Indeed, her abiding among them cannot be for her + welfare in any sense. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor, &c.” + </p> + <p> + Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to Solomon M'Slime. + </p> + <p> + “My dear M'Slime: + </p> + <p> + “As it is beyond any doubt, that in the fair discharge of our duty, you + and I can be mutually serviceable to each other; and as it is equally + evident that it is our interest, and what is more, the interest of Lord + Cumber, that we should be so, I therefore think it right to observe, that + in all transactions between us, each should treat the other with the most + perfect confidence. For this reason, I beg to assure you, once for all, + that in any proceeding that may appear harsh towards any of his lordship's + tenantry, I am and shall be actuated by no other feeling, than a strong, + conscientious sense of my duty to him. This is, was, and will bo the + principle of my whole life. And you know very well, my dear M'Slime, that + if I were less devoted to those interests than I am, my popularity would + be greater among the tenantry. Indeed, few men have a right to know this + better than yourself, inasmuch as you stand in precisely the same beloved + relation to them that I do. + </p> + <p> + “Our excellent friend Hickman is a very worthy man and exceedingly well + meaning. Don't you think so? Oh, I am sure you do. Yet I know not how it + happened that he left out of his system of agency some of the most + valuable rights and privileges of the landlord. These I will mention to + you when I see you, and when I have more time. I consequently must say, + that in attempting to revive these rights, even while I was deputy-agent, + the unjust odium that is falling upon me already, even while I had scarce + time to move in them, ought rather to be—that is morally speaking—visited + upon him who allowed them to lapse. Now that the fine old leases of the + M'Loughlins and the Harmans, and others, have dropped, what can I do but + study Lord Cumber's interest, in the first instance? Not but I would serve + them if I could, and will if I can. I bear them no ill-feeling; and if + they have joined in the calumnies and threats that are so unjustly uttered + against me, what can I do, and what ought I do, but return good for evil? + You, as a truly religious and pious man, will feel delighted to support me + in this principle, and also to aid me in bearing it practically out. Any + services of a similar kind that I can honestly and conscientiously render + you—and none other would you accept—I shall be on my part + delighted to offer. In the meantime, let me have your excellent advice as + to the most efficient means of stifling the unreasonable murmurs that are + rising among the people—and as touching M'Loughlin's and Harman's + properties, I should be glad to see you, in order to consult upon what may + or can be done for them, always compatibly with Lord Cumber's interests. + </p> + <p> + “The pair of turkies which I send you are the result of my reviving one of + his lordship's rights. They are <i>duty-turkies</i>, and I do not think + they will eat the worse for the blessings which Darby O'Drive tells me + accompanied them; at least I don't find they do. + </p> + <p> + “All that I have yet written, however, is only preliminary; but now to + business. I have received the letter which Lord Cumber transmitted to me, + under your frank, in which I am appointed his head agent. He also is + willing to accept the two thousand pounds on my own terms—that is, + of course, as a loan, at the usual rate of interest. But don't you think, + my dear M'Slime, that with respect to this large sum, an understanding + might be entered into—or rather an arrangement made, in a quiet way, + that would, I flatter myself, turn out of great ultimate advantage to his + lordship. The truth is, that Lord Cumber, like most generous men, is very + negligent of his own interests—at least much more so than he ought + to be; and it would be most beneficial to him, in every sense, to have a + person managing his estates, in the best possible condition to serve him. + His property, in fact, is not represented in the grand jury panel of the + county. This is a great loss to him—a serious loss. In the first + place, it is wretchedly, shamefully deficient in roads—both public + and private. In the next place, there are many rents left unpaid, through + the inability of the people, which we could get paid by the making of + these roads, and other county arrangements, which the ill-thinking call + jobs. In the third and last place, he has on his property no magistrate + friendly to his aforesaid interests, and who would devote himself to them + with suitable energy and zeal. Indeed, with regard to the murmurings and + heart-burnings alluded to, I fear that such a magistrate will soon become + a matter of necessity. There is a bad spirit rising and getting abroad, + wherever it came from—and you know, my dear M'Slime, that it could + not proceed from either you or me. You know that—you feel it. Now, + what I would propose is this—Lord Cumber has sufficient interest + with the government, to have me—all-unworthy as I am—appointed + a magistrate. Let the government but hint to the chancellor, and the thing + is done. In that event, instead of giving him this large sum of money as a + loan, let it go as a <i>per contra</i> to my appointment to the bench. And + there is another consideration by no means to be overlooked, which is, + that by this arrangement the government would be certain to have in the + commission a man who would prove himself one of the precise class which + they stand in need of—that is, a useful man, devoted to their + wishes. + </p> + <p> + “Now, my dear M'Slime, I mention this to you with all the confidence of + unshaken friendship. From you these representations will go to his + lordship with a much better grace than they would from me. Tell him in + your own peculiar way, that he shall have the two thousand for the + magistracy. That is my first object as his friend—this once + obtained, I have no doubt of seeing myself, ere long, a member of the + grand panel, and capable of serving him still more extensively. + </p> + <p> + “Believe me to be, “My dear M'Slime, &c, “Valentine M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + “P.S.—I heard you once express a wish about a certain farm—but + mum's the word—only this, I have something in my eye for you.” + </p> + <p> + Solomon M'Slime to the Right Hon. Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “My Gracious Lord: + </p> + <p> + “I, of course, cannot look upon the condition you annex to the appointment + of the agent as unreasonable, although my friend M'Clutchy insists, he + says, for the honor of the aristocracy, that it was a mistake on your + lordship's part, and that a loan only was meant. Be this as it may, I + humbly hope a thought has been vouchsafed to me, by which the matter may, + under Providence, assume a more agreeable character for all parties. Last + night, my Lord, immediately after family worship, I found myself much + refreshed in mind, but rather jaded in my poor sinful body, after the + fatigues of the day—for, indeed, I had ridden a good deal since + morning. However, I desired Susanna—a pious young person, who acts + as children's maid, and understands my habits—to procure me a little + hot water and sugar, into which, out of a necessary regard for health, + which is imposed as a duty on us all, I poured a little brandy, partly for + sustainment and partly to qualify the water. Having swallowed a little of + this I found the two principles combine together, almost like kindred + spirits, and consequently experienced both nourishment and edification + from the draught. It was then, my Lord, that it was given me to turn my + mind upon the transaction alluded to, I mean the condition of paying two + thousand pounds for the privilege of managing your property. Indeed the + thing was vouchsafed to me in this light;—your property, my Lord, is + not represented in the grand panel of the county, which is certainly a + serious loss to you, as there is no one here to advocate your interests, + especially since poor Mr. Deaker's infirmities (would that they were all + only of the body!) have caused him to attend the grand jury less + frequently. Many arrangements might be advantageously made, by which your + lordship would indirectly benefit;—that is, the money, so to speak, + might be made to go into one pocket, in order that it should be + transferred to yours. Then you have not; a magistrate in your estates + devoted to your special interests, as you ought to have; this is a very + necessary thing, my Lord, and to which I humbly endeavor to direct your + attention. Again, my Lord, you have no magistrate of true Protestant and + Ascendancy principles, who from time to time, might manifest to the + government that you did not forget their interests no more than your own. + Now, my Lord, what man can be, or is better qualified to serve your + Lordship in all these capacities than that staunch and unflinching + Protestant, Mr. Val M'Clutchy? In what individual could the commission of + the peace more appropriately or worthily rest than in your own agent? I + therefore beg your lordship to turn this in your mind, and if advised by + one so humble, I would suggest the trial of a short prayer previous to + entering on it. Should you exert your influence for that purpose with the + government, the gracious, I trust I may call it so—appointment—would + be immediately made, and I think I know the grateful disposition of Mr. + M'Clutchy sufficiently well to assure your lordship, that from a thorough + Christian sense of your kindness, the two thousand pounds will be, on that + condition, placed in your lordship's hands. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, my Lord, “Solomon M'Slime. + </p> + <p> + “P.S. Mr. M'Clutchy is ignorant that a suggestion so well calculated to + advance the best interests of general religion, has been graciously + intimated to one so unworthy as I am.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq:— + </p> + <p> + “It is done—a bargain—I have arranged the business here with + the secretary, and am obliged to you, my sleek little saint, for + suggesting it; I wonder M'Clutchy himself did not think of it. I feel glad + the old leases have dropped, for I am sure, that between you and him, you + will take out of these farms all that can be taken. Of course M'Clutchy + and you are at liberty to revive anything you like, provided it be done + properly. What is it to me, who never go there? I do believe Hickman was + not merely an easy fellow, but a fool; as to <i>glove-money— + Healing-money—duty-fowls—and duty-work</i>—I tell you + again, provided you increase my remittances, and work the cash out of + these fellows, you may insist upon as many of them as you can get. + </p> + <p> + “Yours, + </p> + <p> + “CUMBER. + </p> + <p> + “P.S.—What, my little saint, did you mean by that charitable + blunder, concerning the widow, in your last letter? I never knew before + that a woman was a widow merely because her husband was transported, as he + ought to be, for sheep stealing, or because he happened to live, by + compulsion, in another country. However, no matter; give her, for me, + whatever you think proper, and add it to your bill of costs, as you will + do. + </p> + <p> + “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + Solomon M'Slime, Esq., to Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “My Gracious Lord: + </p> + <p> + “As I have never intentionally varied from truth, I could not bear even + for a moment to seem to fall into the opposite principle. I was certainly + very busy on the day I had the honor and privilege of writing to your + lordship, and much distressed both in mind and heart, by the woeful + backsliding of a member of our congregation. On looking over the copy of + the letter, however, I perceive one thing that is gratifying to me. My + Lord, I made no mistake. It is not, perhaps, known to your Lordship that + there are two descriptions of widows—the real and the vegetable; + that is, the widow by death, and the widow by local separation from her + husband. Indeed the latter is a class that requires as much sustainment + and comfort as the other—being as they are, more numerous, and + suffering all the privations of widowhood, poor things, except its + reality. The expression, my Lord, is figurative, and taken from the + agricultural occupation of ploughing; for whenever one animal is unyoked + for any other purpose, such as travelling a journey or the like, the other + is forthwith turned into some park or grassy paddock, and indeed generally + enjoys more comfortable times than if still with the yoke-fellow; for + which reason the return of the latter is seldom very earnestly desired by + the other. I am happy to tell you, my Lord, that some very refreshing + revivals in the religious world have recently occurred here, such as I + trust will cause true religion to spread and be honored in the land; but + on the other hand, I fear that Satan is at work among many evil designing + persons on your Lordship's inheritance in this our neighborhood. Of this, + however, that good and conscientious man Mr. M'Clutchy, will, I doubt not, + give you all proper information and advice. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, my Lord with profound humility, “Your Lordship's + unworthy servant, “Solomon M'Slime.” + </p> + <p> + Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., J. P., to Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: + </p> + <p> + “In point of fact, nothing could be more beneficial to your property, than + my very seasonable appointment to the commission of the peace. It has + extended my powers of working for your advantage, and armed me with + authority that will be found very necessary in repressing outrages and + disturbances when they occur; and I regret to say, that they are likely to + occur much too frequently. I should be sorry to doubt Mr. Hickman's + candor, but in spite of all my charity, I can scarcely avoid thinking that + he did not treat your Lordship with that openness of purpose and + confidence to which every landlord is entitled. Of course, I say this with + great pain, and rather between ourselves, as it were; for heaven forbid, + that a single syllable should escape either my tongue or pen, that might + injure that gentleman's character. The path of duty, however, is often a + stern one, as I find it to be on the present occasion. The truth, then, + is, that I fear Mr. Hickman must have kept the disturbed state of your + tenantry from your Lordship's knowledge, owing probably to a reluctance in + exposing his own laxity of management. Indeed, I wish I could with a + conscientious sense of my duty to your Lordship end here, so far as he is + concerned. But under every circumstance, truth, and honesty, and candor, + will in the long run tell for themselves. It is an unquestionable fact, + then, that from whatever cause it may proceed, your tenantry and he, ever + since my appointment, have had much intercourse of—not exactly a + public—-nor can I decidedly term it—a private nature; and it + is equally true, that in proportion as this intercourse became extended + and enlarged, so did the dissatisfaction of the people increase, until + they are now almost ripe for outrage. I have observed, I think, that poor + Hickman never was remarkable for strength of mind, though not destitute of + a certain kind of sagacity; and whether his tampering—if it be + tampering—with these people,—be the result of a foolish + principle of envy, or whether on the other hand, there is anything + political in it, I really cannot say. All I can do is to state the facts, + and leave the inference to your lordship's superior penetration. + </p> + <p> + “If, however, it be the fact, that Hickman could stop to foment this + unhappy feeling on your property, still, my Lord, he is not alone in it. + Indeed it is possible that the intercourse between him and them may after + all be innocent, however suspicions it looks, I trust and hope it is so—for + there are two other families in the neighborhood, who, to my certain + knowledge, have, by diffusing wicked and disloyal principles among the + tenantry, done incalculable injury. I had indeed some notion of + communicating with government on the subject, but I have not as yet been + able to get any information sufficiently tangible to work on. In the + meantime, I think the wisest and most prudent steps I could take for your + Lordship's advantage, would be to get them as quietly as possible off the + estate. I think, from a twofold sense of duty, I shall be forced to do so. + Their leases very fortunately have dropped in the first place, and it will + not be your interest to renew them on political grounds; for they have + lately expressed a determination to vote against your brother—and in + the next, we can get much larger fines from other sources. Besides his + large farm, one of these men, M'Loughlin, holds a smaller one of eighteen + acres, of which there are fifteen years yet unexpired, yet on consulting + with Mr. M'Slime, and examining the lease, he is of opinion that it + contains a flaw, and can be broken. I am sure, my lord, for your sake I + shall be glad of it. + </p> + <p> + “I cannot conclude without feeling grateful to Heaven for having given me + such a son as I am blessed with. He is, indeed, quite invaluable to me in + managing these refractory people, and were it not for his aid and vigor, I + could not have been able to send your lordship the last remittance. He is + truly zealous in your cause, but I regret to say, that I am not likely to + be able to avail myself long of his services. He is about taking a large + farm in a different part of the country with a view to marriage, a + circumstance which just now occasions me much anxiety of mind, as he will + be a serious loss to both your lordship and me. I am also looking out for + an under agent, but cannot find one to my satisfaction. Will your lordship + be kind enough to acknowledge the remittance of last week? + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, my lord, “Val M'C.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Val M'C, Esq.:— + </p> + <p> + “Dear Sir: + </p> + <p> + “The check came safely to hand, and seasonably, and the oftener I receive + such communications the better. The best part of it, however, is gone to + the devil already, for I lost six hundred on Alley Croker at the last + Ascot meeting; I write in a hurry, but have time to desire you to keep + your son, if possible, on the property. By the way, as the under agency is + vacant, I request you will let him have it—and, if he wants a farm + to marry on, try and find him one somewhere on the estate: who has a + better right? and, I dare say, he will make as good a tenant as another. + As to Hickman, I think you are quite mistaken, the truth being that he + resigned, but was not dismissed the agency, and if he has not a wish to + get himself replaced—which I do not think—I don't know what + the deuce he should begin to plot about. I rather think the cause of + complaint amongst the people is, that they find some difference between + his laxity and your rigor; if so, you must only let them growl away, and + when, ever they resort to violence, of course punish them. + </p> + <p> + “Very truly yours, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + “P.S.—By all means get those mischievous fellows—I forget + their names—off the property, as I shall have no tenant under me who + will create disturbance or sow dissension among the people. I thank you + for the fine hamper of fowl, and have only to say, as above, that the + oftener, &c, &c. + </p> + <p> + “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII.—Reflections on Absenteeism + </h2> + <p> + —Virtues of a Loyal Magistrate—A Small Dose of Flattery—A + Brace of Blessings—Darby has Notions of becoming a Convert—Hints + to a Trusty Bailiff, with a Bit of Mystery—Drum Dhu, and the + Comforts of Christmas Eve—An Extermination. + </p> + <p> + One of the greatest curses attending absenteeism is the facility with + which a dishonest and oppressive agent can maintain a system of + misrepresentation and falsehood, either to screen his own delinquency or + to destroy the reputation of those whom he hates or fears. An absentee + landlord has no guarantee beyond the honor and integrity of the man to + whom he entrusts the management of his property, and consequently he ought + to know that his very residence abroad presents strong temptations to + persons, who, in too many instances, are not possessed of any principle + strong enough to compete with their rapacity or cruelty. Valentine + M'Clutchy was one of those fellows in whom the heart was naturally so hard + and selfish that he loved both wealth and the infliction of oppression, + simply on account of the pleasure which they afforded him. To such a man, + and they formed too numerous a class, the estate of an absentee landlord + presented an appropriate, and generally a safe field for action. The great + principle of his life was, in every transaction that occurred, to make the + interest of the landlord on one hand, and of the tenant on the other, + subservient to his own. This was their rule, and the cunning and + adroitness necessary to carry it into practical effect, were sometimes + scarcely deemed worth concealment, so strong was their sense of impunity, + and their disregard of what seldom took place—retribution. Indeed, + the absence of the landlord gave them necessarily, as matters were + managed, an unlimited power over the people, and gratified that malignant + vigilance which ever attends upon suspicion and conscious guilt. Many of + the tenants, for instance, when driven to the uttermost depths of distress + and misery, have been desperate enough to appeal to the head landlords, + and almost in every case the agent himself was enabled to show them their + own letters, which the absentee had in the meantime transmitted to the + identical party whose tyranny had occasioned them. + </p> + <p> + The appointment of Phil to the under agency was felt even more strongly + than the removal of Mr. Hickman or Val's succession to that gentleman; for + there was about honest Val something which the people could not absolutely + despise. His talents for business, however, prostituted as they were to + such infamous purposes, only rendered him a greater scourge to the unhappy + tenantry over whom he was placed. As for Phil, he experienced at their + hands that combined feeling of hatred and contempt with which we look upon + a man who has every disposition to villany but not the ability to + accomplish its purposes in a masterly manner. + </p> + <p> + Val's promotion to the Bench did not occasion so much surprise as might be + supposed. It is well known, that every such scoundrel, however he may + disregard the opinions of the people whom he despises, leaves nothing + undone that either meanness or ingenuity can accomplish to sustain a + plausible character with the gentry of the neighborhood. In the times of + which we write, the great passport to popularity among one party was the + expression of strong political opinions. For this reason, Val, who was too + cunning to neglect any subordinate aid to his success in life, had created + for himself a certain description of character, which in a great degree + occasioned much of his dishonesty and oppression to be overlooked or + forgiven. Like his father, old Deaker, he was a furious Orangeman, of the + true, loyal, and Ascendancy class—drank the glorious, pious, and + immortal memory every day after dinner—was, in fact, master of an + Orange Lodge, and altogether a man of that thorough, staunch, Protestant + principle, which was then, as it has been since, prostituted to the worst + purposes. For this reason, he was looked upon, by those of his own class + not so much as a heartless and unscrupulous knave, as a good sound + Protestant, whose religion and loyalty were of the right kidney. In + accordance with these principles, he lost no time in assuming the + character of an active useful man, who considered it the most important + part of his duty to extend his political opinions by every means in his + power, and to discountenance, in all shapes and under all circumstances, + such as were opposed to them. For this purpose, there was only one object + left untried and unaccomplished; but time and his undoubted loyalty soon + enabled him to achieve it. Not long after his appointment to the agency, + he began to experience some of these uneasy sensations which a + consciousness of not having deserved well at the hands of the people will + occasion. The man, as we have said, was a coward at heart; but like many + others of the same class, he contrived on most occasions to conceal it. He + now considered that it would, at all events, be a safe and prudent act on + his part to raise a corps of yeomanry, securing a commission in it for + himself and Phil. In this case he deemed it necessary to be able to lay, + before government such satisfactory proofs as would ensure the + accomplishment of his object, and at the same time establish his own + loyalty and devotion to the higher powers. No man possessed the art of + combining several motives, under the simple guise of one act, with greater + skill than M'Clutchy. For instance, he had an opportunity of removing from + the estate as many as possible of those whom he could not reckon on for + political support. Thus would he, in the least suspicious manner, and in + the very act of loyalty, occasion that quantity of disturbance just + necessary to corroborate his representations to government—free + property from disaffected persons, whose consciences were proof against + both his threats and promises—and prove to the world that Valentine + M'Clutchy was the man to suppress disturbance, punish offenders, maintain + peace, and, in short, exhibit precisely that loyal and truly Protestant + spirit which the times required, and which, in the end, generally + contrived to bring its own reward along with it. + </p> + <p> + One evening, about this period, our worthy agent was sitting in his back + parlor, enjoying with Phil the comforts of a warm tumbler of punch, when + the old knock already described was heard at the hall door. + </p> + <p> + “How the devil does that rascal contrive to give such a knock?” said Phil—“upon + my honor and reputation, father, I could know it out of a thousand.” + </p> + <p> + “It's very difficult to say,” replied the other; “but I agree with you in + its character—and yet, I am convinced that Master Darby by no means + entertains the terror of me which he affects. However, be this as it may, + he is invaluable for his attachment to our interests, and the trust which + we can repose in him. I intend to make him a sergeant in our new corps—and + talking of that, Phil, you are not aware that I received this morning a + letter from Lord Cumber, in which he thanks me for the hint, and says he + will do everything in his power to forward the business. I have proposed + that he shall be colonel, and that the corps be named the Castle Cumber + Yeomanry. I shall myself be captain and paymaster, and you shall have a + slice of something off it, Phil, my boy.” + </p> + <p> + “I have no objection in life,” replied Phil, “and let the slice be a good + one; only I am rather quakerly as to actual fighting, which may God of his + infinite mercy prevent!” + </p> + <p> + “There will be no fighting, my hero,” replied the father, laughing; “if + there were, Phil, I would myself rise above all claims for military glory; + but here there will be nothing but a healthy chase across the country + after an occasional rebel or whiteboy, or perhaps the seizing of a still, + and the capture of many a keg of neat poteen, Phil—eh? What do you + say to that my boy?” + </p> + <p> + “I have no objection to that,” said Phil, “provided everything is done in + an open, manly manner—in broad day-light. These scoundrel whiteboys + have such devilish good practice at hedge-firing, that I have already made + up my mind to decline all warfare that won't be sanctioned by the sun. I + believe in my soul they see better without light than with it, so that the + darkness which would be a protection to them, could be none to me.” + </p> + <p> + At this moment, a tap—such as a thief would give when ascertaining + if the master of the house were asleep, in order that he might rob him—came + to the door, and upon being desired to “come in and be d——d” + </p> + <p> + Darby entered. + </p> + <p> + “You're an hour late, you scoundrel,” said Val; “what have you to say for + yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” added Phil, who was a perfect Achilles to every bailiff and driver + on the estate—“what have you to say for yourself? If I served you + right, upon my honor and reputation, I would kick you out. I would, you + scoundrel, and I ought.” + </p> + <p> + “I know you ought, squire, for I desarve it; but, any how, sure it was the + floods that sent me round. The stick was covered above three feet, and I + had to go round by the bridge. Throth his honor there ought to make the + Grand Jury put a bridge acrass it, and I wish to goodness, Square Phil, + you would spake to him to get them to do it next summer.” + </p> + <p> + When Solomon said, that all was vanity and vexation of spirit, we hope he + did not mean that the two terms were at all synonymous; because, if he + did, we unquestionably stand prepared to contest his knowledge of human + nature, despite both his wisdom and experience. Darby's reply was not a + long one, but its effect was powerful. The very notion that Val M'Clutchy + could, should, might, or ought to have such influence over the Grand Jury + of the county was irresistible with the father; and that he should live to + be actually called squire, nay to hear the word with his own ears, was + equally so with the son. + </p> + <p> + Vanity! What sensation can the hearts of thousands—millions feel, + that ought for a moment be compared, in an ecstatic sense of enjoyment, + with those which arise from gratified vanity? + </p> + <p> + “Come, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits—the night's + severe,” said Val. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits, and we'll see what + can be done about the bridge before next winter,” added Phil. + </p> + <p> + “All I can say is, gintlemen,” said Darby, “that if you both take it up, + it will be done. In the mane time, here's both your healths, your honors; + an' may you both be spared on the property, as a pair of blessins to the + estate!” Then, running over to Phil, he whispered in a playhouse voice—“Square + Phil, I daren't let his honor hear me now, but—here's black + confusion to Hickman, the desaver!” + </p> + <p> + “What is he saying, Phil? What is the cursed sneaking scoundrel saying?” + </p> + <p> + “Why your honor,” interposed Darby, “I was axin' permission jist to add a + thrifle to what I'm goin' to drink.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean?” said Val. + </p> + <p> + “Just, your honor, to drink the glorious, pious, and immoral mimory! hip, + hip, hurra!” + </p> + <p> + “And how can you drink it, you rascal, and you a papist?” asked Phil, + still highly delighted with Darby's loyalty. “What would your priest say + if he knew it?” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Darby, quite unconscious of the testimony he was bearing to + his own duplicity, “sure they can forgive me that, along with my other + sins. But, any how, I have a great notion to leave them and their + ralligion altogether.” + </p> + <p> + “How is that, you scoundrel?” asked Val. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, you scoundrel; how is that?” added Phil. + </p> + <p> + “Why, troth,” replied Darby, “I can't well account for it myself, barrin' + it comes from an enlightened conscience. Mr. M'Slime gave me a tract, some + time ago, called Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace, and I thought in my + own conscience, afther readin' it carefully over, that it applied very + much to my condition.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Phil, “what a babe you are! but no matter; I'm glad you have + notions of becoming a good sound Protestant; take my word there's nothing + like it. A man that's a good sound Protestant is always a loyal fellow, + and when he's drunk, drinks—to hell with the Pope.” + </p> + <p> + “Phil, don't be a fool,” said his father, who inherited many, if not all + of old Deaker's opinions. “If you are about to become a Protestant, Darby, + that's a very different thing from changing your religion—inasmuch + as you must have one to change first. However, as you say, M'Slime's your + man, and be guided by him.” + </p> + <p> + “So I intend, sir; and he has been spakin' to me about comin' forrid + publicly, in regard of an intention he has of writin' a new tract + consarning me, to be called the Converted Bailiff, or a Companion to the + Religious Attorney; and he says, sir, that he'll get us bound up + together.” + </p> + <p> + “Does he?” said Val, dryly; “strung up, I suppose he means.” + </p> + <p> + “Troth your honor's right,” replied Darby; “but my own mimory isn't what + it used to be—it was strung up he said, sure enough, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said Val, “but now to business. Phil, my boy, you move off + for a little—Darby and I have a small matter to talk over, that + nobody must hear but ourselves.” + </p> + <p> + “All right,” replied Phil; “so take care of yourselves;” and accordingly + left the room. + </p> + <p> + Now the truth was, that M'Clutchy, who perfectly understood the + half-witted character of his son—for be it known that worthy Phil + was considered by those who had the honor of his acquaintance, as anything + but an oracle—did not feel himself justified in admitting the said + Phil to full confidence in all his plans and speculations. + </p> + <p> + “You see now,” said he, addressing Darby sternly—“you see the + opinion which I entertain of your honesty, when I trust you more than I do + my son.” + </p> + <p> + “Troth I do your honor—and by the same token did I ever betray you?” + </p> + <p> + “Betray, you scoundrel! what had you to betray?” said Val indignantly, + whatever I do is for the benefit of the country in general, and for Lord + Cumber's property in particular: you know that.” + </p> + <p> + “Know it! doesn't the whole world know it, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then”—said Val, softening—-“now to business. In the + first place observe my words—listen.” + </p> + <p> + Darby said nothing, but looked at him in the attitude of deep and + breathless attention. + </p> + <p> + “Whenever you happen to execute a warrant of distress—that is, when + removing furniture or any other property off the premises, keep a sharp + look out for any papers or parchments that happen to come in your way. It + would do no harm if you should slip them quietly into your pocket and + bring them to me. I say quietly, because there is a spirit abroad among + the people that we must watch; but if they once suspected that we were on + the look out for it, they might baffle us; these papers, you know can be + returned.” + </p> + <p> + “I see, your honor,” said Darby—“there you are right, as, indeed, + you always are.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, then. Is the night dark and stormy?” + </p> + <p> + “So dark, sir, that a blind man could see it.” + </p> + <p> + Val then approached the bailiff, looked cautiously about the room—opened + the door, and peeped into the hall; after which he returned, and placing + about half-a-dozen written papers in his hand, whispered something to him + with great earnestness and deliberation. Darby heard him with profound + attention, nodded his head significantly as he spoke, and placed the point + of his right hand fore-finger on the papers, as if he said, “I see—I + understand—I am to do so and so with these; it's all clear—all + right, and it shall be done before I sleep.” + </p> + <p> + The conversation then fell into its original channel, and Phil was + summoned, in order to receive his instructions touching a ceremony which + was to take place on the following day but one; which ceremony simply + consisted in turning out upon the wide world, without house, or home, or + shelter, about twenty three families, containing among them the young, the + aged, the sick, and the dying—but this is a scene to which we must + beg the reader's more particular attention. + </p> + <p> + There stood, facing the west, about two miles from Constitution Cottage, + an irregular string of cabins, with here and there something that might + approach the comfortable air of a middle size house. The soil on which + they stood was an elevated moor, studded with rocks and small cultivated + patches, which the hard hand of labor had, with toil and difficulty, worn + from what might otherwise be called a cold, bleak, desert. The rocks in + several instances were overgrown with underwood and shrubs of different + descriptions, which were browsed upon by meagre and hungry-looking goats, + the only description of cattle that the poverty of these poor people + allowed them to keep, with the exception of two or three families, who + were able to indulge in the luxury of a cow. In winter it had an air of + shivering desolation that was enough to chill the very blood, even to + think of; but in summer, the greenness of the shrubs, some of which were + aromatic and fragrant, relieved the dark, depressing spirit which seemed + to brood upon it. This little colony, notwithstanding the wretchedness of + its appearance, was not, however, shut out from a share of human + happiness. The manners of its inhabitants were primeval and simple, and if + their enjoyments were few and limited, so also were their desires. God + gave them the summer breeze to purify their blood, the sun of heaven to + irradiate the bleakness of their mountains, the morning and evening + dressed in all their beauty, and music of their mountain streams, and that + of the feathered songsters, to enliven their souls with its melody. The + voices of spring, of summer, of autumn, were cheerful in their ears as the + voices of friends, and even winter, with all his wildness and desolation, + was not without a grim complacence which they loved. They were a poor, + harmless, little community, so very humble and inoffensive, as to be + absolutely beneath the reach of human resentment or injustice. Alas! they + were not so. + </p> + <p> + The cause of the oppression which was now about to place them in its iron + grasp, was as simple as it was iniquitous. They refused to vote for Lord + Cumber's brother, and were independent enough to respect the rights of + conscience, in defiance of M'Clutchy's denunciations. They had voted for + the gentleman who gave them employment, and who happened besides, to + entertain opinions which they approved. M'Clutchy's object was to remove + them from the property, in order that he might replace them with a more + obedient and less conscientious class; for this was his principle of + action under such circumstances. + </p> + <p> + It so happened that there lived among them a man named O'Regan, who, in + point of comfort, was at the head of this little community. He was a quiet + and an affectionate individual, industrious, sober, and every way well + conducted. This inoffensive and virtuous man, and Iris faithful wife, had + been for some time before the period we are describing, under the shadow + of deep affliction. Their second child, and his little brother, together + with the eldest, who for two or three years before had been at service in + England, were all that had been spared to them—the rest having died + young. This second boy was named Torley, and him they loved with an excess + of tenderness and affection that could scarcely be blamed. The boy was + handsome and manly, full of feeling, and possessed of great resolution and + courage; all this, however, was ultimately of no avail in adding to the + span of the poor youth's life. One day in the beginning of autumn, he + overloaded himself with a log of fir which he had found in the moors; + having laid it down to rest, he broke a blood-vessel in attempting to + raise it to his shoulder the second time: he staggered home, related the + accident as it had occurred, and laid himself down gently upon his bed. + Decline then set in, and the handsome and high-spirited Torley O'Regan, + lay patiently awaiting his dissolution, his languid eye dim with the + shadow of its approach. From the moment it was ascertained that his death, + early and unexpectedly, was known to be certain, the grief of his parents + transcended the bounds of ordinary sorrow. It was indeed, a distressing + thing to witness their sufferings, and to feel, in the inmost chambers of + the heart, the awful wail of their desolation and despair. + </p> + <p> + Winter had now arrived in all its severity, and the very day selected for + the removal of these poor people was that which fills, or was designed to + fill, every Christian heart with hope, charity, affection for our kind, + and the innocent enjoyment of that festive spirit which gives to the + season a charm that throws the memory back upon the sweetest recollections + of life—I mean Christmas eve. The morning, however, was ushered in + by storm. There had been above a fortnight's snow, accompanied by hard + frost, and to this was added now the force of a piercing wind, and a + tremendous down pouring of hard dry drift, against which it is at any time + almost impossible even to walk, unless when supported by health, youth, + and uncommon strength. + </p> + <p> + In O'Regan's house there was, indeed, the terrible union of a most bitter + and twofold misery. The boy was literally dying, and to this was added the + consciousness that M'Clutchy would work his way in spite of storm, + tempest, and sickness, nay, even death itself. A few of the inhabitants of + the wild mountain village, which, by the way, was named Drum Dhu, from its + black and desolate look, had too much the fear of M'Clutchy before their + eyes, to await his measures, and accordingly sought out some other + shelter. It was said, however, and generally supposed, by several of the + neighboring gentry, that even M'Clutchy himself would scarcely dare to + take such a step, in defiance of common humanity, public opinion, and the + laws both of God and—we were about to add—man, but the word + cannot be written. Every step he took was strictly and perfectly legal, + and the consequence was, that he had that strong argument, “I am + supporthed by the, laws of the land,” to enable him to trample upon all + the principles of humanity and justice—to gratify political rancor, + personal hatred, to oppress, persecute, and ruin. + </p> + <p> + Removal, however, in Torley O'Regan's case, would have been instant death. + Motion or effort of any kind were strictly forbidden, as was conversation, + except in the calmest and lowest tones, and everything at at all + approaching to excitement. Still the terror lest this inhuman agent might + carry his resolution into effect on such a day, and under such + circumstances, gave to their pitiable sense of his loss a dark and deadly + hue of misery, at which the heart actually sickens. From the hour of nine + o'clock on that ominous morning, the inhabitants of Drum Dhu were passing, + despite the storm, from cabin to cabin, discussing the probable events of + the day, and asking each other if it could be possible that M'Clutchy + would turn them out under such a tempest. Nor was this all. The scene + indeed was one which ought never to be witnessed in any country. Misery in + all its shapes was there—suffering in its severest pangs—sickness—disease—famine—and + death—to all which was to be added bleak, houseless, homeless, + roofless desolation. Had the season been summer they might have slept in + the fields, made themselves temporary sheds, or carried their sick, and + aged, and helpless, to distant places where humanity might aid and relieve + them. But no—here were the elements of God, as it were, called in by + the malignity and wickedness of man to war against old age, infancy, and + disease. + </p> + <p> + For a day or two proceeding this, poor Torley thought he felt a little + better, that is to say, his usual symptoms of suffering were litigated, as + is sometimes the case when human weakness literally sinks below the reach + of pain itself. Ten o'clock had arrived and he had not yet awoke, having + only fallen asleep a little before daybreak. His father went to his + bed-side, and looking down saw that he was still asleep, with a peaceful + smile irradiating his features, as it were with a sense of inward + happiness and tranquility. He beckoned to his mother who approached the + bed, and contemplated him with that tearless agony which sears the heart + and brain, until the feeling would be gladly exchanged for madness. The + conversation which followed was in Irish, a circumstance that accounts for + its figurative style and tenderness of expression. + </p> + <p> + “What is that smile,” said the father. “It is the peace of God,” said the + mother, “shining from an innocent and happy heart. Oh! Torley, my son, my + son!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” replied the father, “he is going to meet happy hearts, but he will + leave none in this house behind him—even little Brian that he loved + so well—but where was there a heart so loving as his?” This we need + scarcely observe, was all said in whispers. + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said the father, “you may well ask—but don't you remember this + day week, when we were talking of M'Clutchy—'I hope,' says he, 'that + if he should come, I'll be where no agent can turn me out—that is, + in heaven—for I wouldn't wish to live to see you both and little + Brian put from the place that we all loved so well—and then he wiped + away the tears from his pale cheeks.—Oh! Torley, my son—my son—are + you laving us! laving us forever?” + </p> + <p> + The father sat down quietly on a chair, and put his hand upon his + forehead, as if to keep the upper part of his head from flying off—for + such, he said, were the sensations he felt. He then wrung his hands until + the joints cracked, and gave one short convulsive sob, which no effort of + his could repress. The boy soon afterwards opened his eyes, and fixed them + with the same peaceful and affectionate smile upon his parents. + </p> + <p> + “Torley,” said the mother, kissing him, “how do you feel, our flower?” + </p> + <p> + “Aisier,” said he, “but I think weaker—I had a dream,” he continued; + “I thought I was looking in through a great gate at the most beautiful + place that ever was—and I said to myself, what country can that be, + that's so full of light, and music, and green trees, and beautiful rivers? + 'That is heaven,' said a sweet voice beside me, but I could see no one. I + looked again, and then I thought I saw my three little brothers standin' + inside the gate smilin'—and I said, 'ar'n't you my brothers that + died when you were young?' 'Yes,' said they, 'and we are come to welcome + you here.' I was then goin' to go in, when I thought I saw my father and + Brian runnun' hand in hand towards the gate, and as' I was goin' in I + thought they called after me—'wait, Torley, dear, for we will follow + you soon.'” + </p> + <p> + “And I hope we all will, our blessed treasure; for when you leave us, son + of our hearts, what temptation will we have to stay afther you? Your + voice, achora, will be in our ears, and your sweet looks in our eyes— + but that is all that will be left of you—and your father and I will + never have a day's happiness more. Oh, never—never!” + </p> + <p> + “You both know I wouldn't lave you if I could help it, but it's the will + of God that I should go; then when I'll be so happy, won't it take the + edge off your grief. Bring Brian here. He and I were all that was left + you, since Ned went to England—and now you will have only him. I + needn't bid you to love him, for I know that you loved both of us, may be + more than you ought, or more than I desarved; but not surely more than + Brian does. Brian, my darling, come and kiss your own Torley that keept + you sleeping every night in his bosom, and never was properly happy + without you—kiss me when I can feel you, for I know that before + long, you will kiss me when I can't kiss you—Brian, my darling life, + how loth I am to lave you, and to lave you all, father—to lave you + all, mother.” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke, and paused from time to time, the tumult of the storm + without, and the fury with which it swept against the roof, door, and + windows of the house, made a terrible diapason to the sweet and affecting + tone of feeling which pervaded the remarks of the dying boy. His father, + however, who felt an irrepressible dread of what was expected to take + place, started at the close of the last words, and with a heart divided + between the two terrors, stood in that stupefaction which is only the + resting-place of misery, where it takes breath and strengthens itself for + its greatest trials. Ho stood with one hand as before, pressed upon his + forehead, and pointed with the other to the door. The wife, too, paused, + for she could not doubt for a moment, that she heard sounds mingling with + those of the storm which belonged not to it. It was Christmas eve! + </p> + <p> + “Stop, Mary,” said he, the very current of his heart stilled—its + beating pulses frozen, as it were, by the terrible apprehension—“stop, + Mary; you can open the door, but in such a morning as this you couldn't + shut it, and the wind and drift would come in and fill the house, and be + the death of our boy. No, I must open the door myself, and it will require + all my strength to shut it.” + </p> + <p> + “I hear it all, now,” said Torley, “the cries and the shouting, the + screechings and the—well, you need not be afeared; put poor Brian in + with me, for I know there is no Irishman but will respect a death-bed, be + it landlord, or agent, ay, or bailey. Oh, no, father, the hand of God is + upon us, and if they respect nothing else, they will surely respect that. + They won't move me, mother, when they see me; for that would kill me—that + would be to murder a dying man.” + </p> + <p> + The father made no reply, but rushed towards the door, which he opened and + closed after him with more ease than he had expected. The storm, in fact, + was subsiding; the small hard drift had ceased, and it was evident from + the appearance of the sky that there was likely to be a change for the + better. + </p> + <p> + It would, indeed, appear, as if the Divine Being actually restrained and + checked the elements, on witnessing the cruel, heartless, and oppressive + purposes of man. But, what a scene presented itself to O'Regan, on going + forth to witness the proceedings which were then about to take place on + this woeful day! + </p> + <p> + Entering the northern end of this wild collection of sheelings was seen a + posse of bailiffs, drivers, constables, keepers, and all that hard-hearted + class of ruffians that constitute the staff of a land agent upon occasions + similar to this. Immediately behind these followed a body of Orange + yeomanry, dressed in regimentals, and with fire-arms—each man + carrying thirty rounds of ball cartridge. We say Orange yeomen advisedly, + because, at the period we speak of, Roman Catholics were not admitted into + the yeomanry, unless, perhaps, one in a corps; and even out of ten corps, + perhaps, you might not find the ten exceptions. When we add to this the + fact, that every Protestant young man was then an Orangeman, and that a + strong, relentless feeling of religious and political hatred subsisted + between them and the Catholic party, we think that there are few, even + among our strongest Conservatives, if any, who would attempt to defend the + inhuman policy of allowing one party of Irishmen, stimulated by the worst + passions, to be let loose thus armed upon defenceless men, whom, besides, + they looked upon and treated as enemies. + </p> + <p> + The men in question, who were known by the sobriquet of Deaker's Dashers, + were, in point of fact, the terror of every one in the country who was not + an Orangeman, no matter what his creed or conduct might be. They were to a + man guided by the true Tory principle, not only of supporting + Protestantism, but of putting down Popery; and yet, with singular + inconsistency, they were seldom or never seen within a church door, all + their religion consisting in giving violent and offensive toasts, and + their loyalty in playing party tunes, singing Orange songs, meeting in + Orange lodges, and executing the will of some such oppressor as M'Clutchy, + who was by no means an exaggerated specimen of the Orange Tory. + </p> + <p> + Deaker's Dashers were commanded on this occasion by a little squat figure, + all belly, with a short pair of legs at one end, and a little red, fiery + face, that looked as if it would explode—at the other. The figure + was mounted on horseback, and as it and its party gallantly entered this + city of cabins, it clapped its hands on its side, to impress the enemy, no + doubt, with a due sense of its military character and prowess. Behind the + whole procession, at a little distance, rode M'Clutchy and M'Slime, + graceful Phil having declined the honor of the expedition altogether, + principally, he said, in consequence of the shortness of the days, and the + consequent very sudden approach of night. We cannot omit to state, that + Darby O'Drive was full of consequence and importance, and led on his + followers, with a roll of paper containing the list of fill those who were + to be expelled, rolled up in his hand, somewhat like a baton of office. + Opposed to this display stood a crowd of poor shivering wretches, with all + the marks of poverty and struggle, and, in many cases, of famine and + extreme destitution, about them and upon them. Women with their half + starved children in their arms, many of them without shoes or stockings—laboring + care-worn men, their heads bound up in cotton handkerchiefs, as intimating + illness or recovery from illness—old men bent over their staves, + some with long white hair, streaming to the breeze, and all with haggard + looks of terror, produced by the well known presence among them of + Deaker's Dashers. + </p> + <p> + And this was Christmas eve—a time of joy and festivity! + </p> + <p> + Other features were also presented, which gave to this miserable scene a + still more depressing character. The voice of lamentation was loud, + especially from the females, both young and old—all of whom, with + some exceptions, were in tears. Many were rending their hair, others + clapping their hands in distraction—some were kneeling to Heaven to + implore its protection, and not a few to call down its vengeance upon + their oppressors. From many of the men, especially the young and healthy, + came stifled curses, and smothered determinations of deep and fearful + vengeance. Brows darkened, eyes gleamed, and teeth were ground with a + spirit that could neither be mistaken or scarcely condemned. M'Clutchy was + then sowing the wind; but whether at a future day to reap the whirlwind, + we are not now prepared to state. + </p> + <p> + At length it was deemed time that the ceremony should commence; and + M'Clutchy, armed also with a case of pistols, rode up to Darby:— + </p> + <p> + “O'Drive, you scoundrel,” he shouted—for he saw his enemy, and got + courageous, especially since he had a body of his father's Dashers at his + back—“O'Drive, you scoundrel, do you mean to keep us here all day? + Why don't you commence? Whose is the first name on your list? The + ejectment must proceed,” addressing the poor people as much as Darby—“it + must proceed. Everything we do is by Lord Cumber's orders, and strictly + according to the law of the land. Every attempt at refusing to give up + peaceable possession, makes you liable to be punished; and punished, by d—n + you shall be.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not swear, my dear friend,” interposed M'Slime; “swear not at all; but + let thy yea be yea, and thy nay, nay; for whatsoever is more than this + cometh of evil. My good friends,” he added, addressing himself to the + people, “I could not feel justified in losing this opportunity to throw in + a word in season for your sakes. I need scarcely tell you that Mr. + M'Clutchy, whose character for benevolence and humanity is perfectly well + known—and I would allude to his strong sense of religion, and its + practical influence on his conduct, were I not afraid of giving rise to a + feeling of spiritual pride in the heart of any fellow-creature, however + humble;—I need not tell you, I say, that he and I are here as your + true friends. I, a frail and unworthy sinner, avow myself as your friend; + at least, it is the most anxious and sincere wish of my heart to do good + to you; for, I trust I can honestly say, that I love my Catholic—I + mean my Roman Catholic friends, and desire to meet them in the bonds of + Christ. Yes, we are your friends. You know it is true that God loveth whom + he chasteneth, and that it is always good to pass through the furnace of + tribulation. What are we, then, but the instruments of his chastisement of + you, and of bringing you through that furnace for your own good and for + His honor! Be truly grateful, then, for this instance of His interposition + in your favor. It is only a blessing in disguise; my friends—strongly + disguised, I grant you—but still a blessing. And now, my friends, to + prove my own sincerity—my affection, and, I trust, Christian + interest in your welfare, I say unto you, that if such among you as lack + bread will come to me, when this dispensation in your favor is concluded, + I shall give them that which will truly nourish them.” + </p> + <p> + M'Clutohy could not stand this, but went down to the little squab Dasher, + who joined him in a loud fit of laughter at M'Slime's little word in + season; so that the poor dismayed people had the bitter reflection to add + to their other convictions, that their misery, their cares, and their + sorrows, were made a mockery of by those who were actually inflicting + them. + </p> + <p> + “When Darby, on whose face there was a heartless smirk of satisfaction at + this opportunity of gratifying M'Clutchy, was about to enter the first + cabin, there arose from the trembling creatures a loud murmur of wild and + unregulated lamentation, which actually startled the bailiff's, who looked + as if they were about to be assaulted. An old man then approached + M'Clutchy, bent with age and infirmity, and whose white hair hung far + down, his shoulders— + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” said he, taking off his hat, and standing before him uncovered, + severe and still bitter as was the day—“I stand here in the name of + these poor creatures you see about us, to beg you, for the sake of God—of + Christ who redeemed us—and of the Holy Spirit that gives kindness + and charity to the heart—not on this blake hill undher sich a sky, + and on sich a day, to turn us out of the only shelter we have on earth! + There's people here that will die if they're brought outside the door. We + did not, at laist the most part of all you see before you, think you had + any thought of houldin' good your threat in such a time of cowld, and + storm, and disolation. Look at us, sir, then, have pity on us! Make it + your own case, if you can, and maybe that will bring our destitution + nearer you—and besides, sir, there's a great number of us thought + betther about votin' with you, and surely you won't think of puttin' them + out.” + </p> + <p> + “It's too late now,” said M'Clutchy; “if you had promised me your votes in + time, it was not my intention to have disturbed you—at present I am + acting altogether by Lord Cumber's orders, who desires that every one + refusing to vote for him shall be made an example of, and removed from the + property—O'Drive, you scoundrel, do your duty.” + </p> + <p> + At this moment there rushed forth from the again agitated crowd an old + woman, whose grizzled locks had escaped from under her dowd cap, and were + blown in confusion about her head; she wore a drugget gown that had once + been yellow, and a deep blue petticoat of the same stuff; a circumstance, + which, joined to the excitement, gave to her appearance a good deal of + picturesque effect. + </p> + <p> + “Low born tyrant,” she shouted, kneeling rapidly down and holding up her + clasped hands, but not in supplication—“low born, tyrant,” she + shouted, “stop;—spawn of blasphemin' Deaker, stop—bastard of + the notorious Kate Clank, hould your hand? You see we know you and yours + well. You were a bad son to a bad mother, and the curse of God will pursue + you and yours, for that and your other villanies. Go back and hould your + hand, I say—and don't dare to bring the vengeance of God upon you, + for the plot of hell you are about to work out this day. I know that plot. + Be warned. Look about you here, and think of what you're going to do. Have + you no feeling for ould and helpless age—for the weakness of women, + the innocence of children? Are you not afraid on such a day to come near + the bed of sickness, or the bed of death, with such an intention? Here's + widows and orphans, the sick and the dyin', ould age half dead, Mid + infancy half starved; and is it upon these, that you and blasphemin' + Deaker's bloody Dashers are goin' to work your will? Hould your hand, I + say, or if you don't, although I needn't curse you myself, for I am too + wicked for that—yet in the name of all these harmless and helpless + creatures before you, I call their curses on your head. In the name of all + the care, and pain, and sorrow, and starvation, and affliction, that's now + before your eyes, be you cursed in soul and body—in all you touch—in + all you love—cursed here, and cursed hereafter forever, if you + proceed in your wicked intentions this woeful day!” + </p> + <p> + “Who is that mad-woman?” said M'Clutchy. “Let her be removed. All I can + say is, that she has taken a very unsuccessful method of staying the + proceedings.” + </p> + <p> + “Who am I?” said she; “I will tell you that. Look at this,” she replied, + exposing her bosom; “these are the breasts that suckled you—between + them did you lie, you ungrateful viper! Yes, you may stare—it's many + a long year since the name of Kate Clank reached your ears, and now that + you have heard it, it is not to bless you. Well, you remember when you + heard it last—on the day you hunted your dogs at me, and threatened + to have me horse-whipped—ay, to horse-whip me with your own hands, + should I ever come near your cursed house. Now, you know who I am, and now + I have kept my word, which was never to die till I gave you a shamed face. + Kate Clank, your mother, is before you!” + </p> + <p> + M'Clutchy took the matter very coolly certainly—laughed at her, and, + in a voice of thunder, desired the ejectments to proceed. + </p> + <p> + But how shall we dwell upon this miserable work? The wailings and screams, + the solicitations for mercy, their prayers, their imprecations and + promises, were all sternly disregarded; and on went the justice of law, + accompanied by the tumult of misery. The old were dragged out—the + bedriden grand-mother had her couch of straw taken from under her. From + the house of death, the corpse of an aged female was carried out amidst + the shrieks and imprecations of both men and women! The sick child that + clung with faintness to the bosom of its distracted mother, was put out + under the freezing blast of the north; and on, on, onward, from house to + house, went the steps of law, accompanied still by the increasing tumult + of misery. This was upon Christmas eve—a day of “joy and festivity!” + </p> + <p> + At length they reached O'Regan's,and it is not our intention to describe + the occurrence at any length. It could not be done. O'Regan clasped his + hands, so did his wife; they knelt—they wept—they supplicated. + They stated the nature of his malady—decline—from having + ruptured a blood-vessel. They ran to M'Clutchy, to M'Slime, to the squat + figure on horseback. They prayed to Darby, and especially entreated a + ruffian follower who had been remarkable for, and wanton in, his + inhumanity, but with no effect. Darby shook his head. + </p> + <p> + “It couldn't be done,” said he. + </p> + <p> + “No,” replied the other, whose name was Grimes, “we can't make any differ + between one and another—so out he goes.” + </p> + <p> + “Father,” observed the meek boy, “let them. I will only be the sooner in + heaven.” + </p> + <p> + He was placed sitting up in bed by the bailiff's, trembling in the cold + rush of the blast; but the moment the father saw their polluted and + sacrilegious hands upon him—he rushed forward accompanied by his + mother. + </p> + <p> + “Stay,” he said, in a loud, hoarse voice, “since you will have him out, + let our hands, not yours, be upon him.” + </p> + <p> + The ruffian told him they could not stand there all day, and without any + farther respect for their feelings, they rudely wrapped the bed-clothes + about him, and, carrying him out, he was placed upon a chair before the + door. His parents were immediately beside him, and took him now into then + own care; but it was too late—he smiled as he looked into their + faces, then looked at his little brother, and giving one long drawn sigh, + he passed, without pain or suffering, saving a slight shudder, into + happiness. O'Regan, when he saw that his noble and beloved boy was gone, + surrendered him into the keeping of his wife and other friends, who + prevented his body from falling off the chair. He then bent his eye + sternly upon the group of bailiffs, especially upon the rude ruffian, + Grimes, whose conduct was so atrocious. + </p> + <p> + “Now listen,” said he, kneeling down beside his dead son—“listen all + of you that has wrought this murder of my dying boy! He is yet warm,” he + added, grinding his teeth and looking up to heaven, “and here beside him, + I pray, that the gates of mercy may be closed upon my soul through sill + eternity, if I die without vengeance for your death, my son!” + </p> + <p> + His mother, who was now in a state between stupor and distraction, + exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “To be sure, darling, and I'll assist you, and so will Torley.” + </p> + <p> + The death of this boy, under circumstances of such incredible cruelty, + occasioned even M'Clutchy to relax something of his original intentions. + He persisted, however, in accomplishing all the ejectments without + exception, but when this was over, he allowed them to re-occupy their + miserable cabins, until the weather should get milder, and until such of + them as could, might be able to procure some other shelter for themselves + and families. + </p> + <p> + When all was over, M'Slime, who had brought with him a sheaf of tracts for + their spiritual sustenance, saw, from the deeply tragic character of the + proceedings, that he might spare himself the trouble of such Christian + sympathy as he wished to manifest for their salvation. He and M'Clutchy, + to whom, by the way, he presented the truly spiritual sustenance of some + good brandy out of a flask, with which he balanced the tracts in his other + pocket, then took their way in the very centre of the Dashers, leaving + behind them all those sorrows of life, for which, however, they might well + be glad to exchange their consciences and their wealth. + </p> + <p> + The circumstances which we have just described, were too striking not to + excite considerable indignation among all reasonable minds at the time. An + account of that day's proceedings got into the papers, but was so promptly + and fully contradicted by the united testimony of M'Clutchy and M'Slime, + that the matter was made to appear very highly complimentary to the + benevolence and humanity of both. “So far from the proceedings in + question,” the contradiction went on to say, “being marked by the wanton + cruelty and inhumanity imputed to them, they were, on the contrary, as + remarkable for the kindness and forbearance evinced by Messrs. M'Clutchy + and M'Slime. The whole thing was a mere legal form, conducted in a most + benevolent and Christian spirit. The people were all restored to their + tenements the moment the business of the day was concluded, and we cannot + readily forget the admirable advice and exhortation offered to them, and + so appropriately offered by Solomon M'Slime, Esq., the truly Christian and + benevolent law agent of the property in question.” + </p> + <p> + By these proceedings, however, M'Clutchy had gained Ms point, which was, + under the guise of a zealous course of public duty, to create a basis on + which to ground his private representations of the state of the country to + government. He accordingly lost no time in communicating on the subject + with Lord Cumber, who at once supported him in the project of raising a + body of cavalry for the better security of the public peace; as, indeed, + it was his interest to do, inasmuch, as it advanced his own importance in + the eye of government quite as much as it did M'Clutchy's. A strong case + was therefore made out by this plausible intriguer. In a few days after + the affair of Drum Dhu, honest Val contrived to receive secret information + of the existence of certain illegal papers which clearly showed that there + existed a wide and still spreading conspiracy in the country. As yet, he + said, he could not ground any proceeding of a definite character upon + them. + </p> + <p> + The information, he proceeded to say, when writing to the Castle, which + came to him anonymously, was to the effect that by secretly searching the + eaves of certain houses specified in the communication received, he would + find documents, clearly corroborating the existence and design of the + conspiracy just alluded to. That he had accordingly done so, and to his + utter surprise, found that his anonymous informant was right. He begged to + enclose copies of the papers, together with the names of the families + residing in the houses where they were found. He did not like, indeed, to + be called a “Conspiracy hunter,” as no man more deprecated their + existence; but he was so devotedly attached to the interests of his + revered sovereign, and those of his government, that no matter at what + risk, either of person or reputation, he would never shrink from avowing + or manifesting that attachment to them. And he had the honor to be, his + very obedient servant. + </p> + <p> + Valentine M'Clutohy, J.P. + </p> + <p> + P.S.—He begged to enclose for his perusal a letter from his warm + friend, Lord Cumber, on the necessity, as he properly terms it, of getting + up a corps of cavalry, which is indeed a second thought, as they would be + much better adapted, upon long pursuits and under pressing circumstances, + for scouring the country, which is now so dreadfully disturbed. And has + once more the honor to be, Val M'C. + </p> + <p> + Representations like these, aided by that most foolish and besotted + tendency which so many of the ignorant and uneducated peasantry have of + entering into such associations, did not fail in working out M'Clutchy's + designs. Most of those in whose houses these papers were placed, fled the + country, among whom was O'Regan, whose dying son Deaker's Dashers treated + with such indefensible barbarity; and what made everything appear to fall + in with his good fortune, it was much about this period that Grimes, the + unfeeling man whom O'Regan appeared to have in his eye when he uttered + such an awful vow of vengeance, was found murdered not far from his own + house, with a slip of paper pinned to his coat, on which were written, in + a disguised hand the words—“Remember O'Regan's son, and let tyrants + tremble.” + </p> + <p> + Many strong circumstances appeared to bring this murder home to O'Regan. + From the day of his son's death until the illegal papers were found in the + eave of his house, he had never rested one moment. His whole soul seemed + darkly to brood over that distressing event, and to have undergone a + change, as it were, from good to evil. His brow lowered, his cheek got + gaunt and haggard, and his eye hollow and wolfish with ferocity. Neither + did he make any great secret of his intention to execute vengeance on + those who hurried his dying child out of life whilst in the very throes of + dissolution. He was never known, however, to name any names, nor to mark + out any particular individual for revenge. His denunciations were general, + but fearful in their import. The necessity, too, of deserting his wife and + child sealed his ruin, which was not hard to do, as the man was at best + but poor, or merely able, as it is termed, to live from hand to mouth. His + flight, therefore, and all the circumstances of the case considered, it is + not strange that he was the object of general suspicion, and that the + officers of justice were sharply on the lookout for a clue to him. + </p> + <p> + In this position matters were, when the Castle Cumber corps of cavalry + made their appearance under all the glitter of new arms, housings and + uniforms, with Valentine M'Clutchy as their captain and paymaster, and + graceful Phil as lieutenant. Upon what slight circumstances do great + events often turn. Because Phil had an ungainly twist in his legs, or in + other words, because he was knock-kneed, and could not appear to advantage + as an infantry officer, was the character of the corps changed from foot + to cavalry, so that Phil and Handsome Harry had an opportunity of + exhibiting their points together. A year had now elapsed, and the same + wintry month of December had again returned, and yet no search had been + successful in finding any trace of O'Regan; but if our readers will be so + good as to accompany us to another scene, they will have an opportunity of + learning at least the character which M'Clutchy's new corps had won in the + country. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII.—Poverty and Sorrow + </h2> + <p> + A Winter Morning—Father Roche—A Mountain Journey—Raymond + Na-hattha—Cabin on the Moors—M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds—The + Conflict—A Treble Death. + </p> + <p> + It is the chill and ghastly dawn of a severe winter morning; the gray, + cheerless opening of day borrows its faint light only for the purpose of + enabling you to see that the country about you is partially covered with + snow, and that the angry sky is loaded with storm. The rising sun, like + some poverty-stricken invalid, driven, as it were, by necessity, to the + occupation of the day, seems scarcely able to rise, and does so with a + sickly and reluctant aspect. Abroad, there is no voice of joy or kindness—no + cheerful murmur with which the heart can sympathize—all the warm and + exhilarating harmonies that breathe from nature in her more genial moods + are silent. A black freezing spirit darkens the very light of day, and + throws its dismal shadow upon everything about us, whilst the only sounds + that fall upon the ear are the roaring of the bitter winds among the naked + trees, or the hoarse voice of the half-frozen river, rising and falling—now + near, and now far away in the distance. + </p> + <p> + On such a morning as this it was, and at such an hour, that a pale-faced, + thin woman, with all the melancholy evidences of destitution and sorrow + about her, knocked at the door of her parish priest, the Rev. Francis + Roche. The very knock she gave had in it a character of respectful but + eager haste. Her appearance, too, was miserable, and as she stood in the + cold wintry twilight, it would have satisfied any one that deep affliction + and wasting poverty were both at her humble heart. She had on neither shoe + nor stocking, and the consequence was, that the sharp and jagged surface + of the frozen ground, rendered severer by the impatient speed of her + journey, had cut her feet in such a manner that the blood flowed from them + in several places. Cloak or bonnet she had none; but instead of the former + her humble gown was turned over her shoulders, and in place of the latter + she wore a thin kerchief, drawn round her head, and held under her chin + with one hand, as the lower classes of Irishwomen do in short and hasty + journeys. Her journey, however, though hasty in this instance, was by do + means short; and it was easy to perceive by her distracted manner and + stifled sobs, that however poorly protected against the bitter elements, + she had a grief within which rendered her insensible to their severity. + </p> + <p> + It was also apparent, that, though humble in life, she possessed, like + thousands of her countrywomen, a mind of sufficient compass and strength + to comprehend, when adequately moved, the united working of more than one + principle at the same moment. We have said it was evident that she was + under the influence of deep sorrow, but this was not all—a second + glance might disclose the exhibition of a still higher principle. The + woman was at prayer, and it was easy to perceive by the beads which she + held in her fervently clasped hands, by the occasional knocking of her + breast, and the earnest look of supplication to heaven, that her soul + poured forth its aspirations in the deep-felt and anxious spirit of that + religion, which affliction is found so often to kindle in the peasant's + heart. She had only knocked a second time when the door was opened, and + having folded up her beads, she put them into her bosom, and entering the + priest's house, immediately found herself in the kitchen. In a moment a + middle-aged woman, with a rush light in her hand, stirred up the + greeshough, and raking the live turf out of it, she threw on a dozen + well-dried peats out of the chimney corner, and soon had a comfortable and + blazing fire, at which the afflicted creature, having first intimated her + wish that his reverence should accompany her home, was desired to sit + until he should be ready to set out. + </p> + <p> + “Why, then,” exclaimed the good-natured woman, “but you had abitther + thramp of it this cowld and cuttin' mornin'—and a cowld and cuttin' + mornin' it is—for sure didn't I feel as if the very nose was whipt + off o' me when I only wint to open the door for you. Sit near the fire, + achora, and warm yourself—throth myself feels like a sieve, the way + the cowld's goin' through me;—sit over, achora, sit over, and get + some heat into you.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you,” said the woman, “but you know it's not a safe thing to go + near the fire when one is frozen or very cowld—'twould only make me + worse when I go out again, besides givin' me pain now.” + </p> + <p> + “Och, troth you're right, I forgot that—but you surely didn't come + far, if one's to judge by your dress; though, God knows, far or near, you + have the light coverin' an you for such a morning as this is, the Lord be + praised!” + </p> + <p> + “I came better than three miles,” replied the woman. + </p> + <p> + “Than what?” + </p> + <p> + “Than three miles.” + </p> + <p> + “Saver above, is it possible! without cloak or bonnet, shoe or stockin'—an' + you have your affliction at home, too, poor thing; why the Lord look down + an you, an' pity you I pray his blessed name this day! Stop, I must warm + you a drink of brave new milk, and that'll help to put the cowld out of + your heart—sit round here, from the breath of that back door—I'll + have it ready for you in a jiffey; throth will I, an' you'll see it'll + warm you and do you good.” + </p> + <p> + “God help me,” exclaimed the woman, “I'll take the drink, bekase I + wouldn't refuse your kind heart; but it's not meat, nor drink, nor cowld, + nor storm, that's throublin' me—I could bear all that, and many a + time did—but then I had <i>him!</i> but now who's to comfort us—who + are we to look to—who is to be our friend? Oh, in the wide world—but + God is good!”—said she, checking herself from a pious apprehension + that she was not sufficiently submissive to his will, “God is good—but + still it's hard to think of losing him.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, you won't lose him, I hope,” said the good creature, stirring the + new milk with a spoon, and tasting it to ascertain if it was warm enough—“Of + coorse it's your husband you—whitch! whitch!—the divil be off + you for a skillet, I've a'most scalded myself wid you—it's so thin + that it has a thing boilin' before you could say Jack Robinson. Here now, + achora, try it, an' take care it's not a trifle too hot—it'll + comfort you, anyhow.” + </p> + <p> + It is in a country like Ireland, where there is so much of that close and + wasting poverty which constitutes absolute misery, that these beautiful + gushes of pure and tender humanity are to be found, which spring in the + obscurity of life out of the natural goodness and untutored piety of the + Irish heart. It is these virtues, unseen and unknown, as they generally + are, except by the humble individuals on whom they are exerted—that + so often light up by their radiance the darkness and destitution of the + cold and lowly cabin, and that gives an unconscious sense of cheerfulness + under great privations, which those who do not know the people often + attribute to other and more discreditable causes. + </p> + <p> + While the poor woman in question was drinking the warm milk—the very + best restorative by the way which she could get—for poverty is + mostly forced to find out its own humble comforts—Father Roche + entered the kitchen, buttoned up and prepared for the journey. On looking + at her he seemed startled by the scantiness of her dress on such a morning—and + when she rose up at his entrance and dropped him a curtesy, exclaiming, + “God save you, Father!”—at the same time swallowing down the + remainder of the milk that she might not lose a moment; he cast his eye + round the kitchen to see whether she had actually come in the dress she + wore. + </p> + <p> + “How far have you come this morning, my poor woman?” he inquired. + </p> + <p> + “From the ride of the Sliebeen More Mountains, plaise your reverence.” + </p> + <p> + “What, in your present dress! without shoe or stocking?” + </p> + <p> + “True enough, sir; but indeed it was little the cowld, or sleet, or frost, + troubled me.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, God help you, I can believe that too—for I understand the + cause of it too well—but have hope—Katty, what was that you + gave her?” + </p> + <p> + “A mouthful of warm milk, your reverence, to put the cowld out of her + heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Katty, I wish we could put sorrow and affliction out of it—but + you did well and right in the meantime; still you must do better, Katty, + lend her your cloak—and your shoes and stockings too, poor thing!” + </p> + <p> + “I'm oblaged to your reverence,” she replied, “but indeed I won't feel the + want of them; as I said, there's only one thought that I am suffering + about—and that is, for your reverence to see my husband before he + departs.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes—but the consequences of this cold and bitter journey may fall + upon you at another time—and before long, too—so be advised by + me, and don't refuse to take them.” + </p> + <p> + “It's not aisy to do that, sir,” she replied with a faint smile, for as + she spoke, his servant had the cloak already about her shoulders; “it + appears,” she continued, “that this kind woman must have her will and way + in everything.” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure I will,” said Katty, “espishially in everything that's right, + any how—come here now, and while his reverence is getting his staff + and mittens in the room above, I'll help you on with the shoes and + stockings. Now,” she added, in one of those touching and irresistible + whispers that are produced by kindness and not by secrecy, “if anything + happens—as God forbid there should—but if anything does + happen, keep these till afther everything is over. Before strangers you + know one wouldn't like to appear too bare, if they could help it.” + </p> + <p> + The tone in which these words were spoke could not fail in at once + reaching the poor woman's heart. She wept as much from gratitude as the + gloomy alternative involved in Katty's benevolent offer. + </p> + <p> + “God bless you,” she exclaimed, “but I trust in the Almighty, there may be + hope and that they won't be wanted. Still, how can I hope when I think of + the way he's in? But God is good, blessed be his holy name!” + </p> + <p> + So saying, the priest came down,and they both set out on their bleak and + desolate journey. + </p> + <p> + The natural aspect of the surrounding country was in good keeping with the + wild and stormy character of the morning. Before them, in the back ground, + rose a magnificent range of mountains, whose snowy peaks were occasionally + seen far above the dusky clouds which drifted rapidly across their bosoms. + The whole landscape, in fact, teemed with a spirit of savage grandeur. + Many of the glens on each side were deep and precipitous, where rock + beetled over rock, and ledge projected over ledge, in a manner so fearful + that the mind of the spectator, excited and rapt into terror by the + contemplation of them, wondered why they did not long ago tumble into the + chasm beneath, so slight was their apparent support. Even in the mildest, + seasons desolation brooded over the lesser hills and mountains about them; + what then must it not have been at the period we are describing? From a + hill a little to the right, over which they had to pass, a precipitous + headland was visible, against which the mighty heavings of the ocean could + be heard hoarsely thundering at a distance, and the giant billows, in + periods of storm and tempest, seen shivering themselves into white; foam + that rose nearly to the summit of their immovable barriers. + </p> + <p> + Such was the toilsome country over which our two travellers had to pass. + </p> + <p> + It was not without difficulty and fatigue that the priest and his + companion wended their way towards one of the moors we have, mentioned. + The snow beat against them with great violence, sometimes rendering it + almost impossible for them to keep their eyes open or to see their proper + path across the hills. The woman, however, trod her way instinctively, and + whilst the, priest aided her by his superior strength, she in return + guided him by a clearer sagacity. Neither spoke much, for in truth each + had enough to do in combating with the toil and peril of the journey, as + well as in thinking of the melancholy scene to which they were hastening. + Words of consolation and comfort he did from time to time utter; but he + felt that his situation was one of difficulty. To inspire hope where there + was probably no hope, might be only to deepen her affliction; and, on the + other hand, to weigh down a heart already heavy laden by unnecessarily + adding one gloomy forboding to its burthen, was not in his nature. Such + comfort as he could give without bearing too strongly upon either her + hopes or her fears he did give; and we do not think that an apostle, had + he been in his place, could or ought to have done more. + </p> + <p> + They had now arrived within half a mile of the moor, when they felt + themselves overtaken by a man whose figure was of a very singular and + startling description, being apparently as wild and untamed as the barren + waste on which he made his appearance. He was actually two or three inches + above the common height, but in addition to this fact, and as if not + satisfied with it, he wore three hats, one sheathed a little into the + other, so that they could not readily separate, and the under one he kept + always fastened to his head, in order to prevent the whole pyramid from + falling off. His person seemed to gain still greater height from the + circumstance of his wearing a long surtout that reached to his heels, and + which he kept constantly buttoned closely about him. His feet were cased + in a tight pair of leather buskins, for it was one of his singularities + that he could endure neither boot nor shoe, and he always wore a glove of + some kind on his left hand, but never any on his right. His features might + be termed regular, even handsome; and his eyes were absolutely brilliant, + yet, notwithstanding this, it was impossible to look for a moment upon his + <i>tout ensemble</i> without perceiving that that spirit which stamps the + impress of reason and intellect upon the human countenance, was not + visible in his. Like a new and well-proportioned house which had never + been occupied, everything seemed externally regular and perfect, whilst it + was evident by its still and lonely character, as contrasted with the busy + marks of on-going life in those around it, that it was void and without an + inhabitant. + </p> + <p> + Like many others of his unhappy class, Poll Doolin's son, + “Raymond-na-hattha,” for it was he, and so had he been nick-named, in + consequence of his wearing such a number of hats, had a remarkable mixture + of humor, simplicity, and cunning. He entertained a great penchant, or + rather a passion for cock-fighting, and on the present occasion carried a + game one under his arm. Throughout the country no man possessed a bird of + that species, with whose pedigree he was not thoroughly acquainted; and, + truth to tell, he proved himself as great a thief as he was a genealogist + among them. Many a time the unfortunate foxes from some neighboring cover + were cursed and banned, when, if the truth had been known, the only fox + that despoiled the roost was Raymond-na-hattha. One thing, however, was + certain, that unless the cock was thoroughly game he might enjoy his + liberty and ease long enough without molestation from Raymond. We had well + nigh forgotten to say that he wore on the right side of his topmost hat a + cockade of yellow cloth, from which two or three ribbons of a scarlet + color fluttered down to his shoulder, a bit of vanity which added very + much to the fantastic nature of his general costume. + </p> + <p> + “Ha! Raymond, my good boy,” said the priest, “how does it happen that you + are so early up this stormy morning? would you not be more comfortable in + your bed?” + </p> + <p> + “Airly up,” replied Raymond, “airly up! that's good—to be sure + you're a priest, but you don't know everything.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, what am I ignorant of now, Raymond?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, that I didn't go to bed yet—so that it's up late, instead of + early, I am—d'ye hear? ha, ha, now take that.” + </p> + <p> + “When, where, and how did you spend the night then, Raymond; but you seem + in a hurry—surely if you trot on at this fate we cannot keep up with + you.” The truth is, Raymond's general rate of travelling was very rapid. + “Where did you spend the night, Raymond,” continued the priest. + </p> + <p> + “Wid a set o' jolly cocks—ha, ha,—now make money of that, d'ye + hear.” + </p> + <p> + “You're a riddle, Raymond; you're a riddle; there's no understanding you—where + did you get the cock?—but I needn't ask; of course you stole him.” + </p> + <p> + “Then why do you ax if you think so?” + </p> + <p> + “Because you're notorious for stealing cocks—every one knows as + much.” + </p> + <p> + “No, never steal 'em,—fond o' me—come wid me themselves. + Look.” The words were scarcely uttered when he tossed the bird up into the + air, and certainly, after flying about for a few yards, he alit, and + tottering against the wind towards Raymond, stretched out his neck, as if + he wished to be again taken up by him. + </p> + <p> + “I see,” said the priest, “but answer me—where did you spend last + night now?” + </p> + <p> + “I tould you,” said Raymond, “wid de jolly cocks—sure I mostly roost + it; an' better company too than most people, for they're fond o' me. + Didn't you see? ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “I believe I understand you now,” said Father Roche; “you've slept near + somebody's hen roost, and have stolen the cock—to whom are you + carrying it?” + </p> + <p> + “You won't tell to-morrow; ha, ha, there now, take a rub too—that's + one.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor creature,” said the priest to his companion, “I am told he is + affectionate, and where he takes a fancy or has received a kindness, very + grateful.” + </p> + <p> + The parish where the circumstances we are describing occurred, having been + that in which Raymond was born, of course the poor fool was familiar to + every one in it, as indeed every one in it, young and old, was to him. + </p> + <p> + During the short dialogue between him and the priest, the female, absorbed + in her own heavy sorrow, was observed by Raymond occasionally to wipe the + tears from her eyes; a slight change, a shade of apparent compassion came + over his countenance, and turning to her, he gently laid his hand upon her + shoulder, and said, in a voice different from, his flighty and abrupt + manner— + </p> + <p> + “Don't cry, Mary, he has company, and good things that were brought to him—he + has indeed, Mary; so don't be crying now.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, poor boy?” asked the woman; “I don't understand you, + Raymond.” + </p> + <p> + “It is difficult to do that at all times,” said Father Roche, “but + notwithstanding the wildness of his manner, he is seldom without meaning. + Raymond will you tell me where you came from now?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “From your house,” he replied; “I went to fetch you to him; but you were + both gone, and I overtook you—I could aisy do that—ha ha.” + </p> + <p> + “But what is the company that's with him, Raymond?” asked the female, + naturally anxious to understand this part of his communication. Raymond, + however, was now in one of his silent moods, and appeared not to hear her; + at all events, he did not think it worth his while to give her any reply. + For a short period he kept murmuring indistinctly to himself, or if a word + or two became audible, it was clear that his favorite sport of + cock-fighting had altogether engrossed his attention. + </p> + <p> + They had now reached a rough, dark knoll of heath, which brought them in + view of the cabin to which they were going, and also commanded an + extensive and glorious prospect of the rich and magnificent inland country + which lay behind them. The priest and his now almost exhausted companion, + to whom its scenery was familiar, waited not to look back upon its beauty + or its richness. Not so Raymond, who, from the moment they began to ascend + the elevation, kept constantly looking back, and straining his eyes in one + particular direction. At length he started, and placing his right hand + upon the priest's shoulder, said in a suppressed but eager voice— + </p> + <p> + “Go on—go on—they're coming.” Then, turning to the female—“Come,” + said he; “come, Mary,—I'll help you.” + </p> + <p> + “Who is coming?” she exclaimed, whilst the paleness of death and terror + settled in her face; “for God's mercy, Raymond, who is coming?” + </p> + <p> + “I saw them,” said he; “I saw them. Come—come fast—I'll help + you—don't thrimble—don't thrimble.” + </p> + <p> + “Let us be guided by him,” said the priest. “Raymond,” he added, “we + cannot go much faster through this marshy heath, but do you aid Mary as + well as you can; as for me, I will try if it be possible to quicken my + pace.” + </p> + <p> + He accordingly proceeded in advance of the other two for a little; but it + was only for a little. The female—who seemed excited by some + uncommon terror, and the wild, apprehensive manner of her companion, into + something not unlike the energy of despair—rushed on, as if she had + been only setting out, or gained supernatural strength. In a few minutes + she was beside the priest, whom she encouraged, and besought, and + entreated—ay, and in some moments of more vehement feeling, + absolutely chided, for not keeping pace with herself. They had now, + however, came within about a hundred yards of the cabin, which they soon + reached—the female entering it about a minute or two before the + others, in order to make those humble arrangements about a sick-bed, + which, however poverty may be forced to overlook on ordinary occasions, + are always attended to on the approach of the doctor, or the minister of + religion. In the instance before us, she had barely time to comfort her + sick husband, by an assurance that the priest had arrived, after which she + hastily wiped his lips and kissed them, then settled his head more easily; + after which she spread out to the best advantage the poor quilt which + covered him, and tucked it in about his lowly bed, so as to give it + something of a more tidy appearance. + </p> + <p> + The interior of the cottage, which the priest and Raymond entered + together, was, when the bitter and inclement nature of the morning, and + the state of the miserable inmates is considered, enough to make any heart + possessing humanity shudder. Two or three stools; a couple of pots; a few + shelves, supported on pegs driven into the peat wall; about a bushel of + raw potatoes lying in a corner; a small heap of damp turf—for the + foregoing summer had been so incessantly wet, that the turf, unless when + very early cut, could not be saved; a few wooden noggins and dishes; + together with a bundle of straw, covered up in a corner with the sick + man's coat, which, when shaken out at night, was a bed; and those, with + the exception of their own simple domestic truth and affection, were their + only riches. The floor, too, as is not unusual in such mountain cabins, + was nothing but the natural peat, and so damp and soft was it, that in wet + weather the marks of their feet were visibly impressed on it at every + step. With the exception of liberty to go and come, pure air, and the + light of the blessed day, they might as well have dragged out their + existence in a subterraneous keep belonging to some tyrannical old baron + of the feudal ages. + </p> + <p> + There was one small apartment in this cabin, but what it contained, if it + did contain anything, could not readily be seen, for the hole or window, + which in summer admitted the light, was now filled with rags to keep out + the cold. From this little room, however, the priest as he entered, was + surprised to see a young man come forth, apparently much moved by some + object which he had seen in it. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Harman,” said the priest, a good deal surprised, “who could have + expected to find you here?” + </p> + <p> + They shook hands as he spoke, each casting his eyes upon this woeful scene + of misery. “God pity them,” ejaculated the priest, clasping his hands, and + looking upwards, “and sustain them!” + </p> + <p> + “I owe it to poor Raymond, here,” replied the other, “and I feel obliged + to him; but,” said he, taking Father Roche over to the door, “here will be + a double death—father and son.” + </p> + <p> + “Father and son, how is that?—she mentioned nothing of the son.” + </p> + <p> + “It is very possible,” said Harman, “that they are not conscious of his + danger. I fear, however, that the poor boy has not many hours to live.” + </p> + <p> + All that we have just described, occurred in three minutes; but short as + was the time, the wife's impatience to have the rites of the church + administered, could scarcely be restrained; nor was poor Raymond's anxiety + much less. + </p> + <p> + “They're comin',” said he, “Mr. Harman, they are comin'; hurry, hurry, I + know what they'll do.” + </p> + <p> + “Who are coming, Raymond?” asked Harman. “Oh!” said the fool, “hurry—M'Clutchy's + blood-hounds.” + </p> + <p> + The wife clapped her hands, shrieked, and falling on her knees, exclaimed + in a piercing voice, “merciful God, look down on us! Oh, Father Roche, + there is not a moment to be lost!” + </p> + <p> + The priest and Harman again exchanged a melancholy glance;—“you must + all retire into the little room,” said the clergyman, “until I administer + to him the last rites.” + </p> + <p> + They accordingly withdrew, the woman having first left a lit rush light + candle at his bed-side, as she knew the ceremony required. + </p> + <p> + The man's strength was wasting fast, and his voice sinking rapidly, but on + the other hand he was calm and rational, a circumstance which relieved the + priest's mind very much. As is usual, having put a stole about his neck, + he first heard his confession, earnestly exhorted him to repentance, and + soothed and comforted him with all those promises and consolations which + are held out to repentant sinners. He then administered the Extreme + Unction; which being over, the ceremony, and a solemn one it must be + considered, was concluded. On this occasion, however, his death-bed + consolations did not end here. There are in the Roman Catholic Church + prayers for the dying, many of them replete with the fervor of Christian + faith, and calculated to raise the soul to the hopes of immortality. These + the priest read in a slow manner, so as that the dying man could easily + accompany him, which he did with his hands clasped, upon his breast, and + his eyes closed, unless when he raised them occasionally to heaven. He + then exhorted him with an anxiety for his salvation which transcended all + earthly and temporal considerations, prayed with him and for him, whilst + the tears streamed in torrents down his cheeks. Nor was the spirit of his + holy mission lost; the penitent man's face assumed a placid and serene + expression; the light of immortal hope beamed upon it; and raising his + eyes and his feeble arms to heaven, he uttered several ejaculations in a + tone of voice too low to be heard. At length he exclaimed aloud, “thanks + to the Almighty that I did not commit this murder as I intended! I found + it done to my hand; but I don't know who did it, as I am to meet my God!” + The words were pronounced with difficulty; indeed they were scarcely + uttered, when his arms fell lifelessly, as it were, by his side—they + were again suddenly drawn up, however, as if by a convulsive motion, and + the priest saw that the agonies of death were about to commence; still, it + was easy to perceive that the man was collected and rational. + </p> + <p> + It was now, however, that a scene took place, which could not, we imagine, + be witnessed out of distracted and unhappy Ireland. Raymond, who appeared + to dread the approach of those whom he termed M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, no + sooner saw that the religious rites were concluded, than he ran out to + reconnoitre. In a moment, however, he returned a picture of terror, and + dragging the woman to the door, pointed to a declivity below the house, + exclaiming— + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/plate186.jpg" + alt="Page 186-- See, Mary, See--they're Gallopin " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + “See, Mary, see—they're gallopin'.” The dying man seemed conscious + of what was said, for the groan he gave was wild and startling; his wife + dropped on her knees at the door, where she could watch her husband and + those who approached, and clasping her hands, exclaimed, “To your mercy, O + Lord of heaven, to your mercy take him, before he falls into their hands, + that will show him none!” She then bestowed upon him a look full of an + impatient agony, which no language could describe; her eyes had already + become wild and piercing—her cheek flushed—and her frame + animated with a spirit that seemed to partake at once of terror, intense + hatred, and something like frenzy. + </p> + <p> + “They are gallopin'! they are gallopin'!” she said, “and they will find + life in him!” She then wrung her hands, but shed not a tear—“speed, + Hugh,” she said, “speed, speed, husband of my heart—the arms of God + are they not open for you, and why do you stay?” These sentiments, we + should have informed our readers, were uttered, or rather chaunted in a + recitative of sorrow, in Irish; Irish being the language in which the + peasantry who happen to speak both it and English, always express + themselves when more than usually excited. “The sacred oil of salvation is + upon you—the sacrament of peace and forgiveness has lightened your + soul—the breath of mercy is the breath you're breathin'—the + hope of Jesus is in your heart, and the intercession of his blessed + mother, she that knew sorrow herself, is before you! Then, light of my + heart, the arms of God are they not open for you, and why do you stay + here?” + </p> + <p> + “Nearer—nearer,” she exclaimed, “they are nearer—whippin' and + spurrin' their horses! Hugh O'Regan, that was the sun of my life, and of + my heart, and ever without a cloud, hasten to the God of mercy! Oh, + surely, you will not blame your own Mary that was your lovin' wife—and + the treasure of your young and manly heart, for wishin' to see you taken + from her eyes—and for wishing to see the eyes that,never looked upon + us all but with love and kindness, closed on us forever. Oh,” said she, + putting her hands to her forehead, “an' is it—is it come to this—that + I that was dearer to him than his own life a thousand times, should now be + glad to see him die—be glad to see him die! Oh! they are here,” she + shrieked, “before the door—you may hear their horses' feet! Hugh + O'Regan,” and her voice became louder and more energetic—“the + white-skinned—the fair of hair, the strong of hand, and the true of + heart—as you ever loved me that was once your happy bride—as + you ever loved the religion of our holy church—as you hope for + happiness and mercy, hasten from me—from our orphan—from all—oh, + hasten to the arms of your God!” + </p> + <p> + During this scene there was a solemn silence in the house, the priest and + Harman having both been struck mute at the solemnity of the scene. + </p> + <p> + “They are here—they are here!” she screamed. “Oh, sun of my heart, + think not now of me, nor of the children of your love, for we will follow + you in time—but think of the happy country you're going to,—to + live in the sunshine of heaven, among saints and angels for ever! Oh, sun + of my heart, think too of what you lave behind you! What is it? Oh! what + is it to you—but poverty, and misery, and hardship—the cowld + cabin and the damp bed—the frost of the sky—the frown of + power, and the scourge of law—all this, oh, right hand of my + affection, with the hard labor and the scanty food, do you fly from! Sure + we had no friend in this world to protect or defend us against them that, + would trample us under their feet! No friend for us because we are poor, + and no friend for our religion because it is despised. Then hasten, + hasten, O light of my heart—and take refuge in the mercy of your + God!” + </p> + <p> + “Mary,” said the priest, who had his eyes fixed upon the sick man, “Give + God thanks, he is dead—and beyond the reach of human enmity + forever.” + </p> + <p> + She immediately prostrated herself on the floor in token of humility and + thanksgiving—then raising her eyes to heaven, she said, “may the + heart of the woeful widow be grateful to the God who has taken him to his + mercy before they came upon him! But here they are, and now I am not + afraid of them. They can't insult my blessed husband now, nor murdher him, + as his father's villains did our dyin' son, on the cowld Esker of Drum + Dhu; nor disturb him with their barbarous torments on the bed of death—and + glory be to God for that!” + </p> + <p> + Many of our readers may be led to imagine that the terrors of Mary O'Regan + were altogether unproportioned to anything that might be apprehended from + the approach of the officers of justice, or, at least to those who came to + execute the law. The state of Irish society at that time, however, was + very different from what it is now, or has been for the last twenty years. + At that period one party was in the ascendant and the other directly under + their feet; the former was in the possession of irresponsible power, and + the other, in many matters, without any tribunal whatsoever to which, they + could appeal. The Established Church of Ireland was then a sordid + corporation, whose wealth was parcelled out, not only without principle, + but without shame, to the English and Irish aristocracy, but principally + to the English. Church livings were not filled with men remarkable for + learning and piety, but awarded to political prostitution, and often to + young rakes of known and unblushing profligacy, connected with families of + rank. The consequence was, that a gross secular spirit, replete with + political hatred and religious rancor, was the only principle which + existed in the place of true religion. That word was then, except in rare + cases indeed, a dead letter; for such was the state of Protestant society + then, and for several years afterwards, that it mattered not how much or + how little a man of that creed knew about the principles of his own + church; and as it was administered the less he knew of it the better—all + that was necessary to constitute a good Protestant was “to hate the Pope.” + In truth—for it cannot be concealed, and we write it with deep pain + and sorrow—the Established Church of Ireland was then, in point of + fact, little else than a mere political engine held by the English + government for the purpose of securing the adherence of those who were + willing to give support to their measures. + </p> + <p> + In such a state of things, then, it need not be wondered at, that, + neglected and secularized as it was at the period we write of, it should + produce a class of men, whose passions in everything connected with + religion and politics were intolerant and exclusive. Every church, no + matter what its creed, unfortunately has its elect of such professors. Nor + were these confined to the lower classes alone—far from it. The + squire and nobleman were too frequently both alike remarkable for the + exhibition of such principles. Of this class was our friend M'Clutchy, who + was now a justice of the peace, a grand juror, and a captain of cavalry—his + corps having, a little time before, been completed. With this posse, as + the officers of justice, the pranks he played were grievous to think of or + to remember. He and they were, in fact, the terror of the whole Roman + Catholic population; and from the spirit in which they executed justice, + were seldom called by any other name than that of M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds. + Upon the present occasion they were unaccompanied by M'Clutchy himself—a + circumstance which was not to be regretted, as there was little to be + expected from his presence but additional brutality and insult. + </p> + <p> + On arriving at the door, they hastily dismounted, and rushed into the + cabin with their usual violence and impetuosity, each being armed with a + carbine and bayonet. + </p> + <p> + “Hallo!” said the leader, whose name was Sharpe; “what's here? shamming + sickness is it?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Father Roche; “it is death?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay! shamming death then. Never mind—we'll soon see that. Come, + Steele, give him a prod—a gentle one—and I'll engage it'll + make him find tongue, if anything will.” + </p> + <p> + Steele, to whom this was addressed, drew his bayonet, and commenced + screwing it on, for the purpose of executing his orders. + </p> + <p> + “A devilish good trick, too,” said he; “and the first of the kind that has + been practised on us yet—here goes—” + </p> + <p> + Up until this moment O'Regan's wife sat beside the dead body of her + husband, without either word or motion. A smile of—it might be + satisfaction, perhaps even joy, at his release; or it might be hatred—was + on her face, and in her eye; but when the man pointed his bayonet at the + corpse of her husband, she started to her knees, and opening out her arms, + exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “Here's my heart—and through that heart your bayonet will go, before + it touches his body. Oh, if you have hearts in your bodies, you will + surely spare the dead!” + </p> + <p> + “Here goes, ma'am,” he repeated, “and you had better lave that—we're + not in the habit of being checked by the like of you, at any rate, or any + of your creed.” + </p> + <p> + “I am not afeared to profess my creed—nor ashamed of it,” she + exclaimed; and if it went to that, I would die for it—but I tell + you, that before your bayonet touches the dead body of my husband, it must + pass through my heart!” + </p> + <p> + “Don't be alarmed, Mary,” said the priest; “they surely cannot be serious. + It's not possible that any being in the shape of man could be guilty of + such a sacrilegious outrage upon the dead as they threaten.” + </p> + <p> + “What is it your business?” said the leader; “go and tare off your masses, + and be hanged; none of your Popish interference here, or it'll be worse + for you! I say the fellow's not dead—he's only skeining. Come, + Alick, put the woman aside, and tickle him up.” + </p> + <p> + “Keep aside, I tell you,” said Steele, again addressing her—“keep + aside, my good woman, till I obey my orders—and don't provoke me.” + </p> + <p> + Father Roche was again advancing to remonstrate with him, for the man's + determination seemed likely to get stronger by opposition—when, just + as the bayonet which had already passed under the woman's arm, was within + a few inches of O'Regan's body, he felt himself dragged forcibly back, and + Raymond-na-hattha stood before him, having seized both carbine and bayonet + with a strong grip. + </p> + <p> + “Don't do that,” he exclaimed—“don't—you'd hurt him—sure + you'd hurt poor Hugh!” + </p> + <p> + The touching simplicity of this language, which, to a heart possessing the + least tincture of humanity, would have more, force than the strongest + argument, was thrown away upon him to whom it was directed. + </p> + <p> + “Fling the blasted idiot off,” shouted Sharpe; “don't you see he has let + the cat out o' the bag—how could the man be hurted if he was dead; I + knew it was a schame.” To throw Raymond off, however, was easier said than + done, as the fellow found on attempting it. A struggle commenced between + them, which, though violent, was not of long duration. Raymond's eye got + turbid, and glared with a fiery light; but otherwise his complexion did + not change. By a vehement twist, he wrenched the arms out of Steele's + hands, hurling him from him at the same time, with such force, that he + fell on the floor with a crash. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said he, pointing the bayonet to his neck, “would you like it?—-ha, + ha!—think of that.” + </p> + <p> + Four carbines—the whole party consisting of five—were + immediately levelled at him; and it is not improbable that half a minute + more would have closed both his existence and his history, had not Father + Roche and the widow both succeeded, with some difficulty, in drawing him + back from the prostrate officer of justice. Raymond, after a little time, + gave up the arms; but his eye still blazed at his opponent, with a glare + that could not be misunderstood. + </p> + <p> + Harman, who had hitherto taken no part whatsoever in the altercation, now + interfered; and with feelings which he found it nearly impossible to + restrain, pointed out to them the wanton cruelty of such conduct towards + both the living and the dead. “I am ashamed of you,” said he, “as + countrymen, as Irishmen. Your treatment of this poor heartbroken woman, + amidst her desolation and sorrow, is a disgrace to the country that gave + you birth, and to the religion you profess, if, indeed, you profess any.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, come, my good fellow,” said Sharpe, “what is it you say about my + religion? I tell you I'll allow no man to spake a syllable against my + religion; so keep quiet if you're wise, and don't attack that, otherwise + don't be surprised if I make you dance the devil's hornpipe in half a + shake, great a hairo as you are.” + </p> + <p> + “And yet you felt no scruple in just now insulting religion, in the person + of this reverend gentleman who never offended you.” + </p> + <p> + “Him! why what the hell is he but a priest?” + </p> + <p> + “And the more entitled to your respect on that account—but since you + are so easily excited in defence of your own creed, why so ready to attack + in such offensive and insulting language that of another?” + </p> + <p> + “Come, come, Sharpe,” said another of them, “are we to be here all day—whatever + we're to do let us do it at once; if the fellow's dead, why he has had a + devilish good escape of it, and if not, let us clap him on a horse, that + is, provided he's able to travel. I think myself he has got the start of + us, and that the wind's out of him.” + </p> + <p> + “Take your time,” said Steele, who felt anxious to avenge his defeat upon + some one, “we must know, that before ever we leave the house—and by + the great Boyne, the first person that goes between me and him will get + the contents of this,” and as he uttered the words he coolly and + deliberately cocked the gun, and was advancing as before to the dead body. + </p> + <p> + “Holdback,” said Harman, in a voice which made the man start, whilst with + a firm tread and resolute eye, he stood face to face before him; “hold + back, and dare not violate that sacred and awful privilege, which in every + country and creed under heaven is sufficient to protect the defenceless + dead. What can be your object in this? are you men—have you the + spirit, the courage, of men? If you are human beings, is not the sight of + that unhappy fellow-creature—I hope he is happy now,—stretched + out in death before you, sufficient, by the very stillness of departed + life, to calm the brutal frenzy of your passions! Have you common courage? + No; I tell you to your teeth that none but spiritless caitiffs and cowards + would, in the presence of death and sorrow—in the miserable cabin of + the destitute widow and her orphan boy—exhibit the ruffianly + outrages of men who are wanton in their cruelty, merely because they know + there is none to resist them; and I may add, because they think that their + excesses, however barbarous, will be shielded by higher authority. No, I + tell you, if there stood man for man before you, even without arms in + their hands, you would not dare to act and swagger as you do, or to play + these cruel pranks of oppression and tyranny anywhere, much less in the + house of death and affliction. Fie upon you, you are a disgrace to + everything that is human, a reproach to every feeling of manhood, and + every principle of religion.” + </p> + <p> + Hardened as they were by the habits of their profligate and debasing + employment, such was the ascendancy of manly truth and and moral feeling + over them, that for a minute or two they quailed under the indignant + glance of Harman. Steele drew back his gun, and looked round on his + companions to ascertain their feeling. + </p> + <p> + “Gentleman,” said Father Roche, anxious to mollify them as much as he + could—“gentleman, for the sake of that poor heart-broken widowed + woman and her orphan son—for her and his sake, and if not for theirs + then, for the sake of God himself, before whose awful judgment-seat we + must all stand to render an account of our works, I entreat—I + implore you to withdraw—do, gentlemen, and leave her and her + children to their sorrows and their misery, for the world has little else + for them.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm willing to go,” said a fellow, ironically called Handsome Hacket, + because he was blind of an eye and deeply pock-pitted—“there's no + use in quarrellin' with a woman certainly—and I don't think there + can be any doubt about the man's death; devil a bit.” + </p> + <p> + “Well said, Vainus,” exclaimed Sharpe, “and it is not ten days since we + were defrauded of Parra Rackan who escaped from us in Jemmy Reilly's + coffin—when we thought to nab him in the wakehouse—and when we + went away didn't they set him at large, and then go back to bury the man + that was dead. Now, how da you know, Vainus, my purty boy, that this + fellow's not playin' us a trick o' the same color?” + </p> + <p> + “Come, come,” said another of them who had not yet spoke, “it's aisy to + know that. Curse me, Steele, if you don't give him a tickle, I will—that's + all—we're losin' the day and I want my breakfast Living or dead, and + be hanged to him, I'm starved for want of something to eat—and to + drink, too—so be quick I tell you.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, my buck,” said Steele—“that's your sort—here goes—” + </p> + <p> + He once more advanced with a savage determination to effect his purpose—when + the priest gently and in a mild spirit of remonstrance laid his hand upon + his shoulder; but he had scarcely done so, when one of them seized him by + the collar and flung, or rather attempted to fling, him back with great + violence. + </p> + <p> + “Go on, Steele,” shouted the last speaker, whose name was Harpur—“Go + on—and be cursed, man, we will support you.” + </p> + <p> + The words, however, were scarcely out of his lips, when Raymond, his eye + glaring like that of a tiger with the wildness of untamed resentment, + sprang upon him with a bound, and in a moment they once more grappled + together. It was, however, only for a moment—for by the heavy blow + he received from Raymond, the man staggered and fell, but ere he reached + the ground, the gun, which had been ineffectually aimed at the poor fool, + went off, and lodged its contents in the heart of the last speaker, who + staggered, groaned, and fell lifeless where he stood. + </p> + <p> + For a minute or so, this fatal and unexpected catastrophe stunned them. + They looked upon each other amazed and apparently stupefied, “What,” cried + Sharpe, “is Harpur dead?” Two of them then placed their arms against the + wall in order to ascertain the exact nature of the injury inflicted. + </p> + <p> + At this moment, Sharpe, who saw at once the man was indeed lifeless, + raised his gun about to take aim at Raymond, when a blow from Harman + felled him to the earth. + </p> + <p> + “And here's for your kindness, Mister Harman,” shouted Steele; but ere the + words were uttered, O'Regan's wife threw herself upon him so effectually, + that he felt it impossible to avail himself of his fire-arms. + </p> + <p> + “Fight now,” she shouted in Irish, “it is for your lives—it is for + the widow—for the orphan—for the bed of death—and the + dead that's upon it—fight now—for God will be with us! May his + strength and power be in your arms and your hearts, prays the woeful widow + this day! Villain—villain,” she shouted, “I have you powerless now—but + it's the strength of God that is in me, and not my own!” + </p> + <p> + The conflict that ensued now was bitter, savage, deadly. The moment Sharpe + was knocked down, Raymond flew to their firearms, handed one to Harman, + and kept the other himself. The men who used them were fierce, and + powerful, and cruel. In a moment a furious contest took place. The four + men immediately grappled, each one attempting to wrest the gun from his + antagonist. Raymond, whose passions were now roused so as to resemble the + ravenous fury of madness itself, at one time howled like a beast of prey, + and shouted, and screamed, and laughed with maniac wildness that was + enough to make almost any heart quail. His eyes blazed, his figure + dilated, his muscles stood out, his mouth was white with froth, and his + eyebrows were knit into a deep and deadly scowl. Altogether his appearance + was frightful and appalling. + </p> + <p> + Harman was still better matched, and the struggle with his foe was for + some time doubtful enough, the latter being one of the strongest and most + resolute men in the whole parish. A powerful tug for the gun now took + place, each pulling in opposite directions with all his might. At length a + thought struck Harman, who all at once let the gun go, when the other + having no longer any resisting power to sustain him, fell back upon the + floor, and in an instant Harman's knee was on his chest and the gun in his + possession. The man ground his teeth, and looking up into his face with a + black scowl of hatred, exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “It is your turn now, but I will have mine.” + </p> + <p> + “You have had yours too long, villain,” replied the other, “but in the + mean time I will teach you to respect the bed of death and the afflictions + of the widow.” + </p> + <p> + Saying which, he vigorously applied the butt of the gun to his ribs, until + he had rendered him anything but disposed for further conflict. + </p> + <p> + Both victories were achieved much about the same time; Raymond's opponent + being far the more severely punished of the two. “What, however, was their + surprise after each had expelled his man from the cabin, to find Steele + down, his gun lying on one side. O'Regan's wife fastened on his throat, + and himself panting and almost black in the face! + </p> + <p> + “Here now,” she exclaimed, “the battle of the widow was well fought, and + God gave us strength. Put this man out with the rest.” This was + accordingly done, but as in the case of his companions, the gun for the + present was retained. + </p> + <p> + “See now,” she proceeded, still in Irish, “what the hand of a weak woman + can do, when her heart is strengthened by God, against cruelty and + oppression. What made that strong man weak in my grasp? Because he knew + that the weakness of the widow was his shame—the touch of her hand + took away his strength; and what had he within or about him to depend + upon? could he look in upon his wicked heart, and be strong? could he look + upon the darkness of a bad conscience, and be strong? could he look on me—upon + my dead husband, and his bed of death, and be strong? No—and above + all, could he look up to the Almighty God in heaven, and be strong—no—no—no—but + from all these I gained strength—for surely, surely, I had it not in + myself!” + </p> + <p> + She uttered these sentiments with wonderful energy, and indeed, from the + fire in her eye, and the flush of her cheek, it was evident she was highly + excited. Father Roche, who had been engaged, and indeed, had enough to do + in keeping the poor child quiet and aloof from the fray, especially from + his mother—now entreated that she would endeavor to compose herself, + as she had reason to thank God, he said, that neither she herself nor her + resolute defenders had sustained any personal injury. She did not seem to + have heard him—for on looking on the body of her husband she almost + bounded over to the bed, and kneeling down rapturously, and in a spirit of + enthusiastic triumph, kissed his lips. + </p> + <p> + “Now, my husband,” said she, “we have fought and gained the victory—no + insult did you get—no dishonor on your lowly bed where you're + sleepin' your last sleep. Hugh, do you know, asthore, how the wife of your + heart fought for you? Your own poor, weak, sorrowful, heart-broken, but + loving wife, that was as feeble as an infant this mornin'! But who gave + her the strength to put down a strong and wicked man'? The God—the + good God—and to him be the glory!—in whose bosom you are now + happy. Ay, we conquered—ha—ha—ha—we conquered—we + conquered—ha—ha—ha!” + </p> + <p> + The dead body of Harpur in the meantime had been removed by his + companions, who it was evident felt as much, if not more bitterness at + their own defeat, than they did by the fatal accident which deprived him + of life. + </p> + <p> + Scarcely had the wild triumph of O'Regan's wife time to subside, when it + soon became evident that the tragical incidents of this bitter and + melancholy morning were not yet completed. + </p> + <p> + The child alluded to by Harman in his first brief conversation with Father + Roche, had been for some time past in a much more dangerous state than his + parents suspected, or at least than his unhappy mother did, whose + principal care was engrossed by the situation of her husband. The poor + boy, at all times affectionate and uncomplaining, felt loth to obtrude his + little wants and sufferings upon her attention, knowing as he did, that, + owing to the nursing of his father, she was scarcely permitted three hours + sleep out of the twenty-four. If he could have been afforded even the + ordinary comforts of a sick-bed, it is possible he might have recovered. + The only drink he could call for was “the black water,” as it is termed by + the people, and his only nutrition a dry potato, which he could not take; + the bed he lay upon was damp straw, yet did this patient child never utter + a syllable to dishearten his mother, or deepen the gloom which hung over + the circumstances of the family, and his father's heart. When asked how he + was, he uniformly replied “better,” and his large lucid eyes would faintly + smile upon his mother, as if to give her hope, after which the desolate + boy would amuse himself by handling the bedclothes as invalids often do, + or play with the humid straw of his cold and miserable bed, or strive to + chat with his mother. + </p> + <p> + These details are very painful to those whose hearts are so elegantly and + fashionably tender that they recoil with humane horror from scenes of + humble wretchedness and destitution. It is good, however, that they should + be known to exist, for we assure the great and wealthy that they actually + do exist, and may be found in all their sharpness and melancholy truth + within the evening shadow which falls from many a proud and wealthy + dwelling in this our native land. + </p> + <p> + After all, it is likely, that had not the fearful occurrences of this + morning taken place, their sweet boy might have been spared to them. The + shock, however, occasioned by the discharge of the gun, and the noise of + the conflict, acting upon a frame so feeble were more than he could bear. + Be this as it may, the constables were not many minutes gone, when, to + their surprise, he staggered back again out of his little room, where + Father Roche had placed him, and tottering across the floor, slipped in + the deceased man's blood, and fell. The mother flew to him, but Harman had + already raised him up; when on his feet, he looked at the blood and + shuddered—a still more deadly paleness settled on his face—his + breath came short, and his lips got dry and parched—he could not + speak nor stand, had not Harman supported him. He looked again at the + blood with horror, and then at his mother, whilst he shrank up, as it + were, into himself, and shivered from head to foot. + </p> + <p> + “Darling of my heart,” she exclaimed, “I understand you. Bryan, our + treasure, be a man for the sake of your poor heart-broken mother—I + will, I will, my darling life, I will wipe it off of you, every stain of + it—why should such blood and my innocent son come together?” + </p> + <p> + She now got a cloth, and in a few moments left not a trace of it upon him. + He had not yet spoken, but on finding himself cleansed from it, he + stretched out his hands, thereby intimating that he wished to go to her. + </p> + <p> + “Do you not perceive a bottle on the shelf there?” said Harman, “it + contains wine which I brought for his—,” he checked himself;—“Alas! + my poor boy,” he exclaimed involuntarily, “you are doubly dear to + your-mother now. Mix it with water,” he proceeded, “and give him a little, + it will strengthen and revive him.” + </p> + <p> + “Better,” said Father Roche in a low voice, not intended for his, “to put + him back into his own bed; he is not now in a state to be made acquainted + with his woeful loss.” As he spoke the boy glanced at the corpse of his + father, and almost at the same moment his mother put wine and water to his + lips. He was about to taste it, but on looking into the little tin + porringer that contained it, he put it away from him, and shuddered + strongly. + </p> + <p> + “It's mixed with the blood,” said he, “and I can't;” and again he put it + away from him. + </p> + <p> + “Bryan, asthore,” said his mother, “it's not blood; sure it's wine that + Mr. Harman, the blessin' of God be upon him, brought to you.” + </p> + <p> + He turned away again, however, and would not take it. “Bring me to my + father,” said he, once more stretching out his arms towards his mother, + “let me stay a while with him.” + </p> + <p> + “But he's asleep, Bryan,” said Harman, “and I'm sure you would not wish to + awaken him.” + </p> + <p> + “I would like to kiss him then,” he replied, “and to sleep a while with + him.” + </p> + <p> + “Och, let him, poor darling,” said his mother, as she took him in her + arms, “it may ease his little heart, and then he'll feel satisfied.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, if you're allowed to go to him won't you lie very quiet, and not + speak so as to disturb him?” said Harman. + </p> + <p> + “I'm tired,” said the child, “and I'd like to sleep in his bed. I used + sometimes to do it before, and my father always kept his arms about me.” + </p> + <p> + His mother's features became convulsed, and she looked up in mute + affliction to heaven; but still, notwithstanding her misery, she was + unable to shed one tear. + </p> + <p> + “Pulse of my heart” (cushla machree), she said, kissing him, “you must + have your innocent and loving wish.” She then gently raised the + bed-clothes and placed him beside his father. + </p> + <p> + The poor pale boy sat up in the bed for about a minute, during which he + glanced at the still features of the departed, then at his mother, and + then at the pool of blood on the floor, and again he shuddered. All at + once, however, he started and looked about him; but in a manner that + betokened delight rather than alarm—his eyes brightened—and an + expression almost of radiance settled upon his face. “Mother,” said he, + “kiss me, and let Mr. Harman kiss me.” + </p> + <p> + They both did so, and his poor mother felt her heart relieved, by the + happiness depicted on his face. “Glory be to God,” she exclaimed, “see + what a change for the better has come over my blessed child.” + </p> + <p> + Father Roche looked at Harman, and shook his head—“Blessed he will + be soon,” said he, in a low whisper, “the child is dying.” + </p> + <p> + The boy started again, and the former serenity lit up his pale features. + </p> + <p> + “Bryan, you are better, darling of my life; you look a thousand pounds + better than you did awhile ago.” + </p> + <p> + The boy looked into her face and smiled.—-“I am,” said he, “but did + you not hear it?” + </p> + <p> + “Hear what, jewel of my heart?” + </p> + <p> + “There it is again;” said he, looking eagerly and delightfully about him, + “my father's voice;—that's three times it called, me, but it didn't + come from the bed, although he's in it. I will kiss him and then sleep—but + I will miss his arms from about me, I think.” + </p> + <p> + He then fixed himself beside that loving parent, aided by his mother, and + getting his arm around his pulseless neck, he kissed him, and laying down + his fair head, he fell asleep in that affecting posture. There was a + solemn stillness for some minutes, and a strange feeling of fear crept + over his mother's heart. She looked into the eyes of those who were about + her, but the looks they returned to her carried, no consolation to her + spirit. + </p> + <p> + “My child,” she exclaimed—“Oh, my child, what is this? Bryan, my + life—my light, what ails you?” She stooped, and gently turning him + about so as to see his face, she looked keenly into it for a few moments, + and there certainly was the same seraphic expression which so lately lit + it tip. Still she felt dissatisfied, till putting her ear to his mouth and + her hand to his heart, the woeful truth became known to her. The guiltless + spirit of her fair-haired son had followed, that of his father. + </p> + <p> + When the afflicted widow saw the full extent of her loss, she clasped her + hands together, and rose up with something of a hasty movement. She looked + about the miserable cabin for a moment, and then peered into the face of + every one in the room—all of whom, with the exception of Raymond, + were in tears. She then pressed her temples, as if striving to recollect + what had happened—sat down again beside her husband and child, and + to their astonishment began to sing an old and melancholy Irish air, in a + voice whose wild sweetness was in singular keeping with its mournful + spirit. + </p> + <p> + To the bystanders this was more affecting a thousand times than the most + vehement and outrageous grief. Father Roche, however, who had had a much + more comprehensive experience than his companion, knew, or at least hoped + that it would not last long. + </p> + <p> + Several of the neighbors, having seen the dead body of the constable borne + away, suspected that something extraordinary had occurred on the mountain, + and consequently came flocking to the cabin, anxious to know the truth. By + this means, their acquaintances were brought about them—aid in every + shape, as far as it could be afforded, was administered, and in a short + time they had a little stock of meal, butter, milk, candles, and such + other simple comforts as their poor friends and neighbors had to bestow. + Such is the usual kindness of the Irish people to each other in moments of + destitution and sorrow. Nothing, on the present occasion, could surpass + their anxiety in ascertaining the wants of this unhappy family: and in + such circumstances it is that the honest prompting of the humble heart, + and its sincere participation in the calamities of its kindred poor, are + known to shine forth with a lustre, which nothing but its distance from + the observation of the great, or their own wilful blindness to it, could + prevent it from being seen and appreciated as it ought. + </p> + <p> + Having seen her surrounded by friends and neighbors, Father Roche, after + first offering as far as he thought he could reasonably attempt it, some + kind advice and consolation, prepared to take his departure with Harman, + leaving Raymond behind them, who indeed refused to go. “No,” said he, “I + can feed Dickey here—but sure they'll want me to run messages—I'm + active and soople, an I'll go to every place, for the widow can't. But + tell me, is the purty boy, the fair haired boy asleep, or what?—tell + me?” + </p> + <p> + “Why do you ask, Raymond?” said Father Rocche. + </p> + <p> + “Bekase I love him,” replied Raymond, “and I hope he'll waken! I would + like to see him kiss his father again—but I'm afeared somehow I + never will. If he awakens I'll give him the cock any how—bad luck to + me but I will.” + </p> + <p> + “Hush,” said the priest, whilst a tear started to his eye at this most + artless exhibition of affection for the child—“don't swear, Raymond. + The sweet boy will never waken in this world; but he will in heaven, where + he is awake already, and where you will see him again.” + </p> + <p> + “I would rather see him here,” replied the other; “and I wish I had gev + him the cock first, when he came out of the room; but what'd she do + without his white head before her?—what'll she do, and not have that + to look at? But stop,” said Raymond—“wait a minute, and we'll soon + see whether he'll waken or not.” + </p> + <p> + He then went into the little room where the poor child had lain during his + illness, and immediately returned, bearing the cock in his hands— + </p> + <p> + “Wait,” said he; “I was bringing the bird to poor little Brian, for I + promised it to him. We'll see—we'll see.” + </p> + <p> + As he uttered the words, he placed the bird down on the child's bosom and + called out— + </p> + <p> + “Brian, here's your present for you, that I promised you—won't you + waken?—spake open your blue eyes, achora machree, and look at the + fine bird I brought you.” + </p> + <p> + It was a most affecting little incident; for the contrast between the + fiery scintillations flashed from the eye of the noble bird, the utter + unbroken stillness of death, as character was so mournfully impressed upon + the fair sweet features of innocence, was indeed such as few parental + hearts could withstand. Raymond looked awhile as if even he had been + struck by it. + </p> + <p> + “Ah no,” said he, going down to his mother; “no, Mary, he will never waken—and + then what will you do for Brian's white head?” + </p> + <p> + “Whisht!” she replied; “whisht, and I'll sing you a song. I have nothing + else to do now but to sing and be happy— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Farewell father, farewell mother, + Farewell friends, and farewell foes! + I now will go and court some other, + For love it was the causer of all my woes.” + </pre> + <p> + “An' so it was,” she said; “for I did love some one, I think; but who they + were, or where they are gone to, I cannot tell. Is your name,” she added, + her eye blazing as she spoke to Raymond, “is your, name M'Clutchy?” + </p> + <p> + “Say it is,” suggested one of the neighbors; “may be it may startle the + poor thing into her senses.” + </p> + <p> + “That's not very likely,” replied another, “for it has startled her out of + them—God in his mercy pity her!” + </p> + <p> + Raymond, however, adopted the first suggestion, without knowing why; and + said in a loud voice— + </p> + <p> + “Ay is it; my name is Val the Vulture, that commands the blood-hounds.” + </p> + <p> + The creature started—became for a moment as if convulsed—then + proceeded at a speed that was incredible, screaming frightfully, across + the dark and desolate scenery that surrounded the house. It was vain to + pursue her; for there was none there capable of doing it with success, + unless Raymond, who understood not that she had become insane. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX.—A Dialogue, exhibiting Singular Principles of Justice + </h2> + <p> + —Solomon's Tracts and Triumph—A Sincere Convert—Darby's + Views of Religion—Poll Doolin's Honesty—Solomon's Christian + Generosity to a Man in Difficulty—M'Loughlin and his Family. + </p> + <p> + The extraordinary scene which we have just detailed as occurring in the + mountain hut, took place on Saturday morning and about twelve on the + subsequent Monday, the following dialogue passed between honest Val! and + his son, Philip the graceful. + </p> + <p> + “That was a most unlucky accident that happened Harpur on Saturday,” said + Val, dryly, and looking with a good deal of significance at the other. + </p> + <p> + “Unlucky,” said Phil, “faith and honor, my good father, I don't know what + to think.” + </p> + <p> + “You don't, Phil!” replied Val; “why, what the deuce could you deem more + unlucky than to be shot stone dead, without a moment's notice.” + </p> + <p> + Phil's color went a little at the bare notion of such a fate; but on + observing an expression of peculiar complacency lurking in his father's + eye, it returned again, and after a little assurance settled down into its + original hue. + </p> + <p> + “To himself certainly,” said Phil, “it was a bad business; no one can deny + that.” + </p> + <p> + “But, my excellent son, Phil, it may turn out a very lucky incident for us + in the mean time. He is, Phil, a wise man in this world who can turn the + misfortunes or crimes of others to his own advantage. There is Harman for + instance, Phil; now I believe you are not excessively attached to him.” + </p> + <p> + “I hate him as I do hell,” replied Phil. + </p> + <p> + “Very good—you hate him as you do hell—well, on the other + hand, there is M'Loughlin, his partner in the manufactory, and his joint + lessee in their farm—now I hate him as I do—I was about to say + the devil—but I feel loth to render that misrepresented gentleman an + injustice—that is, if there be such a gentleman—which, with my + worthy father, I much doubt. Don't you think now it is a fortunate thing + that we can indict Harman for Harpur's murder. I really think, and it is + said, he murdered him. We would include the priest in the indictment as + accessory, but that might be attended with personal danger—and the + less real danger we incur the better for ourselves.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith and honor, father, that doctrine's worthy of an oracle—as, + indeed, most of what you say is.” + </p> + <p> + “But mark me, Phil; our object is simply his ruin, not his death. Let us + beggar M'Loughlin and him, and drive them out of the country. No—no—not + the death of either of them; on the contrary, I should wish them to live, + if it was only that they might feel my revenge—and that I knew they + felt it. I would not hang them if I could, for my own sake.” He got pale, + ground his teeth, knit his black beetle brow, and exhibited the diabolical + cast of features for which he was remarkable whenever his evil passions + began to stir in his heart. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said he to Phil, “keep a close mouth above all things, for we must + proceed with caution. I have here a letter from Lord Cumber, in which, at + my private suggestion, he declines to renew their leases. Indeed, on + serious consideration, I have recently advised him to grant no renewals, + except in cases where every reliance can be placed upon the principles of + the parties. The want of a lease is a very wholesome restriction on the + conduct of our enemies. M'Slime opposes me in this, because he cannot + pocket as much as usual; but though I cannot readily break with him, + still, I trust, that in a short time I shall be able to turn his flank in + a manner for which he is but little prepared. I have reason to think he is + tampering with O'Drive—in fact O'Drive told me as much—O'Drive, + however, is at work for me, although honest Solomon does not suspect him. + The pious attorney, who is bestowing more of his attention to religion + than ever, has got bitten by the Conversion mania, and thinks he will be + charged with a neglect of his gifts, as he calls them, unless he can + produce a live convert actually made by his own hands. I accordingly + suggested to O'Drive to consult him on some religious scruples that he is + supposed to have felt from the perusal of a tract written by M'Slime + himself. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Phil, “are you not aware that he gave me three or four dozen + of them for gratuitous distribution, as he calls it. Yes, it is called + 'The Religious Attorney,' being a reconcilement between honesty and law, + or a blessed union between light and darkness; by Solomon M'Slime, + attorney at law. + </p> + <p> + “Which tract,” continued Val, “was written for the sole purpose of + recommending himself to the notice of the religious world aforesaid, more, + by the way, as an attorney than as a Christian. And a very good + speculation it proved, for, whereas he was then scarcely able to make both + ends meet by mere professional roguery, and dressed in a black gown—which + you know he always wears in court—yet he no sooner threw the cloak + of religion over that, than he advanced rapidly—and the consequence + is that he is now privately a usurious discounter of bills.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith and honor, now, father, do you,tell me so?” + </p> + <p> + “It's a fact, Philip, my son, and what is more—but the truth is, + that neither he nor I can afford to quarrel with each other.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, father? what's that 'more' you were going to add?” + </p> + <p> + “At this present time, Phil, it must bo secret—but it is arranged + between him and me, that he is to succeed Harman in Beleveen; whilst you + are to come in for M'Loughlin's holding.” + </p> + <p> + “For which I shall have the pleasure,to drink your health to-night, my old + boy—upon my honor and soul you are an excellent old cock, and I'm + very proud of you.” + </p> + <p> + “Go ahead, Phil; no nonsense. But stay, are those fellows of mine come + yet?—I shall receive their informations, and have Harman in the + stone jug before night. It is a bad case of murder committed upon a man in + the execution of the law, do you see, Phil, and consequently I cannot take + bail.” + </p> + <p> + “No, certainly not, captain—as Darby says, certainly not, plaise + your worship—ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Come, Phil, keep quiet; it is now time that operations should seriously + commence. I have gained most of my points, thank—Valentine + M'Clutchy, at all events. I am head agent; you are my Deputy-master of an + Orange Lodge—a Magistrate, and write J.P. after my name—Captain + and Paymaster in the Castle Cumber cavalry, and you lieutenant; and though + last, not least, thanks to my zeal and activity in the Protestant cause, I + am at length a member of the Grand Panel of the county. Phil, my boy, + there is nothing like religion and loyalty when well managed, but + otherwise—” + </p> + <p> + “They are not worth a feather,” replied Phil; “right, captain—there's + an oracle again.” + </p> + <p> + “And, Phil, my son; what is there wrong in this? In fact there is scarcely + a better capital to trade on than religion and loyalty. You know what I + mean, Phil;—not the things, if there be such things, which I must + beg leave to doubt; but that principle which causes one man to hate + another, in proportion to its influence over him.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Phil, “just as you and I, who have not got a touch of religion + in our whole composition, have the character of being two of the + staunchest Protestants in the county.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” replied the father, “and in this case the fiction is as good and + better than the truth. The fiction, Phil, under which our religion appears + is our own interests—no, I am wrong—the fiction under which + our interest appeal's is our religion—that is the way of it; and the + truth is, Phil, that ninety-nine men out of every hundred will go + ninety-nine miles for their interests, before they will go one for either + religion or truth—that's the way of it, too. However, pass that—now + about Poll Doolin and the hint I gave you?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you know at that time matters were not ripe for it. Don't you + remember telling me so yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “I do, but I speak of your present intentions.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, my present intentions would be to marry the girl, Papist though + she be, if I could; but as that's out of the question, I will now follow + up your hint.” + </p> + <p> + “Then you had better see Poll, and go on with it. Are you aware, besides, + that the concern is tottering?” + </p> + <p> + “The manufactory! No—is that possible?” + </p> + <p> + “It is a fact; but you know not how honest Solomon and I have been at + work. It is tottering, Lieutenant M'Clutchy, and in a short time you will + see what you shall see.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Phil, “so far everything is turning out very fortunate for us—but + I think, Captain, that you are one of those men who are born under what + they call a lucky planet;—eh? old boy?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, I think so; but in the meantime see Poll Doolin, and after that pay + a visit to my father. The old scoundrel is upon his last legs, and there + can be no harm in paying him some attention now. You are not a favorite of + his; so smooth him down as much as you can. I don't myself expect that he + will remember either of us in his will; but, as he is hasty and + capricious, it is difficult to say what effect a favorable impression + might have upon him.” + </p> + <p> + “Neither are you a favorite with Isabel, or Jezabel, as he calls her.” + </p> + <p> + “No, I made a bad move there—but, after all, what did I, or rather, + what could I lose by neglecting her? Did she not succeed in banishing + every one of his relatives from about him? It was neither her interest nor + her inclination to keep in with his friends:—go and see him, at all + events; reconnoitre, and report accordingly—and now if these fellows + are come let them be sent in.” + </p> + <p> + Phil accordingly withdrew to follow up his own speculations, and in a few + minutes our friends, who so bravely distinguished themselves in the + widow's cabin, entered the office. Val, like most men of his class and + experience, was forced to undergo strong contests between the vanity + occasioned by his success in life, and his own shrewd sense and acute + perception of character. Whenever he could indulge that vanity without + allowing its gratification to be perceived by others, he always did so; + but if he happened to have a person to deal with, whom he suspected of a + sufficiently keen penetration, his own sagacity always checked its + display. No man ever puzzled him so thoroughly as O'Drive, who so varied + and timed his flattery, as to keep him in a state of perpetual alternation + between a perception of the fellow's knavery, and a belief in his + simplicity of heart. On one occasion he would exclaim to himself or Phil, + “This O'Drive is a desperate knave,—it's impossible that he can be + honest;” and again, “Well, well; there is too much simplicity there, too + much truth unnecessarily told, to allow me to consider that poor devil a + rogue—no, he is honest.” The consequence was, that Darby flattered + him, and he relished it so strongly because he did not imagine it was + intentional, that Darby understood his weak points, in that respect, + better than any man living. This, in a country where the people are shrewd + observers in general, could scarcely be supposed to escape their + observation; nor did it. Darby's manner was so naturally imitated by + others, that even the keen and vigilant Valentine M'Olutchy was frequently + over-reached without being at all conscious of the fact. + </p> + <p> + When the men of the Castle Cumber corps came in, they found their captain + sitting, or rather lolling, in a deep-seated arm-chair, dressed in a + morning-gown and red morocco slippers. He was, or appeared to be, deeply + engaged over a pile of papers, parchments, and letters, and for about a + minute raised not his head. At length he drew a long breath, and exclaimed + in a soliloquy—“just so, my lord, just so; every man that scruples + to support the Protestant interests will meet no countenance from you;—'nor + shall he, Mr. M'Clutchy, from you, as my representative,' you add—'and + I beg you'”—he went on to road a few lines further—“'to + transmit me the names and capacities of all those who are duly active on + my property in suppressing disturbance, convicting criminals, and + preserving the peace; especially those who are remarkable for loyal and + constitutional principles; such are the men we will cherish, such are the + men we must and ought to serve.' It is very true, my lord, it is very true + indeed, and—oh! my friends, I beg your pardon! I hadn't noticed you—oh, + dear me! how is this? why I didn't imagine you had been so sadly abused as + all this comes to—this is dreadful, and all in resisting the king's + warrant against the murderer. But how did it happen that this Harman + murdered our poor friend Harpur?” + </p> + <p> + “Harpur is done for, captain, sure enough; there's no doubt of that.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, it's one comfort that we live in a country where there is justice, + my friends. Of course you will prosecute him for this diabolical murder; I + sent for you to receive your informations, and we shall lodge him in gaol + before night.” + </p> + <p> + “I would rather prosecute that Blackguard Rimon-a-hattha,” said a man, + whose head was awfully swollen, and bound up with a handkerchief, “Rimon, + Captain, is the greatest rascal of the two—he is, by, Japurs.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, but is he not an idiot, Johnston? In point of law he is only a + fiction, and cannot be prosecuted.” + </p> + <p> + “Fiction, Captain! Sowl, I don't know what you call a fiction—but if + I'm guessin' properly, hell to the much of it was in his blows—look + at how my head is, and I wish you could see my ribs, plase your worship.” + </p> + <p> + “Well but let us come to the most important matter first—and before + I go further, my friends and brothers, I would just throw out for your + satisfaction, a few observations that I wish to impress upon you. + Recollect that in this business, and in every business like it, you must + have the pleasure at least of reflecting that you have now a magistrate + who will see that all due care is taken of your interests—who will + accompany your proceedings step by step, and see that all is as it ought + to be. That is not partiality, my dear friends; that is not favor nor + affection, nor leaning to you; no, nor—ha, ha, ha, leaning from you, + either, my friends.” + </p> + <p> + “Long life to your worship! Long life to you, Captain! You're the right + sort, and no mistake.” + </p> + <p> + “M'Dowel, what detained you from your lodge on Thursday night.” + </p> + <p> + “I was buying a springer in Hush fair, and didn't get home in time, your + worship.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, M'Dowel, mark-me,—I neither can, nor will, overlook neglect + in these matters. The man that neglects them wilfully, is a man I won't + depend upon—and two of your neighbors were absent from parade on + Wednesday week. Now, it's really too bad to expect that I, or any other + gentleman in the country, will exert ourselves so strenuously to sustain + and extend our own principles, or! to speak plainly, to keep them up—to + maintain our ascendancy,—if we cannot reckon upon the earnest and + cordial support of those for whose sake we take all this trouble—upon + my honor it's a shame.” + </p> + <p> + “It is a shame, Captain, and I say here's one,” placing his hand upon his + heart, “of the right kidney. By the holy William, there is.” + </p> + <p> + “We're all so, your worship,” replied Sharpe, “and sure every one knows it—but, + plaise your honor, what's to be done about Harman?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, prosecute him for the murder of course.” + </p> + <p> + “But then,” said one of them, “sure Harman didn't murder him, Captain—among + ourselves, it was all accident.” + </p> + <p> + M'Clutchy seemed surprised at this, and after hearing their individual + opinions, which indeed, conflicted very much, some positively asserting + that he did, and others that he did not, murder the man, he began to view + the matter in a somewhat different and more cautious light. He mused for + some time; however, and after a second and more deliberate investigation, + finding that there were two for the murder and only one against it, he at + length took their informations, resolving to bring the matter to trial at + all hazards. The warrant for Harmon's apprehension was accordingly issued, + and entrusted to a dozen of the most resolute fellows in his corps; who so + far enabled our magistrate to fulfil his intention, that they lodged his + enemy in the county prison that very night. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, when reading the papers, our Captain was not a little + surprised at reading in one of them an advertisement to the following + effect: + </p> + <p> + “To the public—found, in the office of Mr. Solomon M'Slime, a Bank + of Ireland Note, of large amount. The person losing it may have it by + giving a proper description of same, and paying the expenses of this + advertisement. N. B.—It is expected, as the loser of the note must + be in affluent circumstances, that he will, from principles of Christian + sympathy, contribute, or enable some Christian friend to contribute, a + moderate donation to some of our greatest public charities. Thus will that + which at the first view appears to be serious calamity, be made, under + Him, a blessing and a consolation, not only to the wealthy individual who + lost the money, but to some of our destitute fellow creatures. This, + however, is not named as a condition, but merely as a suggestion offered + from motives of benignity and duty. + </p> + <p> + “Also, just published, <i>The Religious Attorney</i>; being a + reconcilement between Honesty and Law; or a blessed Union between Light + and Darkness. By S. M'S. Tenth Thousand. + </p> + <p> + “Also, in the Press, and will soon be published, done up neatly in + foolscap, and rogue's binding for cheapness, by the same author, <i>The + Converted Bailiff</i>; being designed as a companion to <i>The Religious + Attorney</i>. These productions need not be sought for with any of the + profane booksellers of the city; but only at the Religious Depositories, + or at those godly establishments in Sackville street and College green.” + </p> + <p> + This, however, was not all. In a different column appeared the following; + which, however, did not surprise M'Clutchy: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Glorious Triumph of Religious Truth. +</pre> + <p> + “In another part of our paper, our readers will perceive in an + advertisement, an additional proof, if such were necessary, of the strong + integrity of that ornament of his profession, both as an Attorney and + Christian, Mr. Solomon M'Slime. This gentleman, whilst he devotes himself, + with a pure and guileless heart, to the extensive practice which his high + principles and great skill have gained him in his profession, does not + neglect the still higher and more important interests of himself and his + fellow creatures. It is a gracious thing to know that a spirit of deep and + earnest inquiry is now abroad, by which hundreds are, under God, brought + from darkness to light—from the gall of bitterness and the bond of + iniquity, out into the freedom of perfect day. Verily there is a new + Reformation abroad—the strongholds of Popery are fast falling one + after another. In the neighborhood of Mount-starve-'em, the spirit has + been poured out most abundantly; and this manifestation is the more + gracious, when we reflect that the dreadful famine which now prevails + throughout the country, has been made (always under Him) the precious but + trying means of bringing the poor benighted creatures to taste the fruits + of a better faith. Nothing, indeed, can equal the bounty of that excellent + nobleman, Lord———, who supplies beef and blankets—Bibles + and bread—to those who may be likened to the multitude that were fed + so miraculously in the wilderness—that is to say, who followed the + good shepherd for his doctrine, and were filled with bread. Mr. M'Slime, + who has within his own humble sphere not been inactive, can boast at least + of having plucked one brand out of the burning, in the person of Darby + O'Drive, the respectable bailiff of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., the + benevolent agent of the Castle Cumber estate—to which Mr. M'Slime + himself is law agent. It is understood that on next Sabbath (D.V.) Mr. + O'Drive will make a public profession of his faith—or, in other + words, “that he will recant the errors of Popery, and embrace those of + Protestantism.” * The merit of his conversion is due—but merit there + is none—to Mr. M'Slime, or rather to his two very popular and + searching tracts, called, 'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace,' and 'The + Religious Attorney,' which he had placed for perusal in Mr. O'Drive's + hands. Mr. O'Drive now declares himself a Babe of Grace, and free from the + bonds of sin; or, as he more simply, but truthfully and characteristically + expresses it—a beautiful specimen indeed of his simplicity of views—'he + is replevined from the pound of human fraility—no longer likely to + be brought to the devil's auction, or knocked down to Satan as a bad + bargain.'—For ourselves, we cannot help thinking that this undoubted + triumph of religious truth, in the person of Darby O'Drive, is as + creditable to the zeal of Mr. M'Slime, as it is to his sincerity. + Encouraged by this great success, Mr. M'Slime, seconded by several of our + leading controversialists, has succeeded in getting up a polemical + discussion, on the merits of the Protestant and Popish creeds. The + particulars have not been decided upon, but they shall probably appear in + an early number of our paper. In the meantime we are authorized by Mr. + Darby O'Drive to issue a formal challenge to any Popish and idolatrous + bailiff in Ireland, to discuss with him the relative powers, warrants, + processes, triumphs, conflagrations, and executions of their resspective + churches.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * This expression has been attributed to Faulkner, the + printer of Swift's works; but it is much more likely that it + belongs to the Dean himself. +</pre> + <p> + He had scarcely finished this characteristic paragraph, when O'Drive's + knock, as usual, was heard, and in a few minutes the redoubted champion + and challenger entered. There was a knavish demureness about him, and a + kind of comic solemnity in his small, cunning gray eye, that no painter + could copy. + </p> + <p> + “Why, you scoundrel,” said Val, “you're overdoing the thing altogether; is + it possible that M'Slime is such a spooney as not to see through you?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Captain, you don't make any allowance for my simplicity; sure you + know, sir, I must grow young and innocent, if I'm to become a babe of + grace, your worship.” + </p> + <p> + “But what's the meaning of all this work about discussions and such + stuff?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, sir, it's all thrue enough at any rate; we're to have a religious + field day here in the Sessions house of Castle Cumber; the whole thing is + regulated—the seconds, and bottle houlders, and all is appointed. + There's the Rev. Christopher Gammon, Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug, who's powerful + against Popery, the Rev. Bernard Brimstone, and the Rev. Phineas Lucre, + with many more on the side of truth. On that of Popery and falsehood + there's the Rev. Father M'Stake, the Rev. Father O'Flary, the Rev. Father + M'Fire, and the Rev. Nicholas O'Scorch, D.D. Dr. Sombre is to be second on + our side; and Father M'Fud on the part of Popery and idolatry.” + </p> + <p> + “And when is this precious spouting match to take place, you rascal?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, on Monday week; and on next Sunday, sir, I'm to read my + rekintation, plaise God.” + </p> + <p> + “But I didn't intend that you should go to such lengths as that—however, + that's your own affair.” + </p> + <p> + “But, Captain ahagur, sure it's on your account I'm doin' it—won't + it enable me to get the blind side of him about one or two tilings we want + to come at.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, I believe certainly, that if he has a blind side at all, it is + his own hypocrisy.” + </p> + <p> + “Be my soul, and it'll go hard or we'll worm out the sacret we want. There + is one tiling I'm sartin of, he thinks, now that I'm turnin' by the way, + that I'm ready to desart and desave you, Captain, an' indeed he says many + things of you that he ought not to' say.” + </p> + <p> + “Let us hear them.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, he said the other day—but sorra one o' me likes to be + repeatin' these things.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, come, you rascal, out with it.” + </p> + <p> + “He said, sir, that he feared the divil had a hard howlt o you—that + was the day I brought him the last letter, sir—that your heart, + Captain, was full o' desate, and damnably wicked, plase your worship, and + that if you didn't improve your morals you'd go where there is—something + about gnashing of teeth, your honor.” + </p> + <p> + “He's a double distilled scoundrel,” replied Val, bitterly, “and although + I know him well, I am determined still to know him better.” + </p> + <p> + “Double distilled!—ay, faith, rectified many degrees above proof; + but never mind; if I don't put a spoke in his wheel, I'm not here.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, never mind now, either—give the hypocritical little scoundrel + this letter.” + </p> + <p> + “I will, and thank you, Captain! God bless your honor, and grant you 'long + to reign over us, happy and glorious, God save the king! armin.' You see, + captain, I've the right strain of loyalty in me, any how, ha, ha, ha! + Throth, if I ever change in airnest, it isn't among the yallow bellies + I'll go; but into his majesty's own church, Captain Val—the brave + church where they have the bells, and the big blessed lookin' bishops, and + their organs and coaches; aye, faith, and where everything is dacent and + jintlemanly. Sure blood alive, Captain Val, beggin' your pardon, what's + the use of a religion if it's not respectable and ginteel? What signifies + a ministher of any religion, if he hasn't a fat purse in his pocket, and a + good round belly before him, for that shows, plaise your worship, that + religion is more than a name, any how; an' upon my conscience—oh, + holy Moses, Captain Val, if M'Slime was to hear me swearin' this way! God + pardon me! how-and-ever, but upon my conscience, it isn't the religion + that keeps a man poor, but the religion that puts the flesh on his bones, + and keeps it there, that is the right one—aye, and not only that, + but that keeps a good coat on his back, your honor, and a good pair of + breeches to his posterals—for which raison, whenever I do sariously + turn it'll be—but you may guess—it'll be to the only true and + loyal church;—for when a man can get both fat, and loyal, and + religious, all at one move, he's a confounded fool that won't become + religious.” + </p> + <p> + This certainly, though not intended for it, was a true and bitter comment + upon the principles of such men as M'Clutchy, who considered a profane and + licentious attachment to a mere Establishment as a high duty, not because + that establishment was the exponent of divine truth, but of a mere + political symbol, adopted by subordinate and secular aids, to bind men of + the same principles together. + </p> + <p> + “Begone, you rascal, and confound your dissertation. Go and deliver the + letter, as I desired you, and bring me an answer.” + </p> + <p> + “Sartinly, Captain, and will have an eye about me, into the bargain. How + is Captain Phil, sir, before I go?” + </p> + <p> + M'Clutchy made a motion of indignation, but could not, in the meantime, + altogether repress a smile; and Darby, taking his hat with a kind of + shrewd and confidential grin, ran out of the office. + </p> + <p> + Our narrative now passes to the house of Poll Doolin, which was situated + in a row of cottages towards the north side of Castle Cumber. Her son + Raymond and she were its only inmates, and the former was in the act of + replacing a hat among the <i>tria juncta in uno</i>, which he always wore. + </p> + <p> + “Raymond,” said his mother, “now that you've got your supper, you must + keep house till I come back.” + </p> + <p> + “Must I indeed?—-why must I? answer me that, there now, that's one.” + </p> + <p> + “Becase I'm goin' out on business.” + </p> + <p> + “What business?—where to?—what brought Phil M'Clutchy here + yestherday?—tell me that—eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I couldn't tell you that, Raymond.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't do anything for Phil, he's Val's son, that keeps the blood-hounds. + Ah, poor Brian, and his white head—no', he'll never waken—never + waken—an' what has she now to look at! Mother, I'd give all the + cocks I ever had to see him and his white head in his mother's arms again—God's + curse on Val! God's curse on him! I hate him—I hate Phil—I + hate all of them—don't mother; do nothing for them.” + </p> + <p> + “You foolish boy, what do you know about it?—keep the house till I + come back, and I'll bring you a pennyworth of tobaccy?” + </p> + <p> + “But you will go?” said Raymond. + </p> + <p> + “I must, you fool.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, then, take it out o' that—there now, that's one.” + </p> + <p> + It was now drawing on towards dusk, and Poll, assuming her black bonnet, + and throwing her black cloak about her shoulders, sallied out with that + furtive air which always accompanies one who is conscious of something + that requires concealment. Her motions always were rapid, but on this + occasion she walked like one whose mind brooded lover difficulties—sometimes + she went very quick, then slackened her pace, and once or twice stood + still, musing with her right hand to her chin. At length she reached the + residence of Brian M'Loughlin, just after night had set it—she + entered not, but glided about the house, waited, watched, listened, and + peeped into the house, very like a thief that was setting the premises. + Ultimately she took her stand at a particular window in the rear of the + building, where she kept watch with great patience, though for what + purpose it would appear very difficult to guess. Patience, however, is + often rewarded, and it was so in the case before us. After about half an + hour a light fell through the glass, and Poll, availing herself of the + opportunity, tapped gently: at first it was not noticed, and she tapped + again, somewhat louder; this was successful—a gentle voice inquired + in tones more of surprise than alarm, “who is there, and what is your + business!” + </p> + <p> + “A friend,” said Poll. + </p> + <p> + “Poll Doolin!” + </p> + <p> + “The same, and I'm here on a case of life and death. Could you come out + for a start—three minutes will do.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly not—you trifled unnecessarily with my feelings before—I + will have no more mysteries. I can raise the window, however, and anything + you have to say can be said where we stand.” She raised the sash as she + spoke. “Now,” said she “what is your business, Poll?” + </p> + <p> + “Life and death, as I said,” replied Poll “Do you not know that Mr. Harman + is to be tried for murder, and that the assizes will open in a few days?” + </p> + <p> + “Unfortunately I do,” replied Mary, sighing deeply, “but there can be no + doubt of his acquittal. Father Roche has been here, who was present, and + told us how the whole circumstance occurred.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't doubt that,” said Poll, “but this I tell you, and this you may + rely on, that hang he will, in spite of fate; he's doomed.” + </p> + <p> + “Great God!” exclaimed the now terrified girl, “you chill the blood in my + veins—doomed!—what do you mean, Poll?” + </p> + <p> + “M'Clutchy will have him hanged in spite of all opposition—you know + his power now—he can carry everything his own way.” + </p> + <p> + “I know,” replied the other, “that his influence is unfortunately great, + no doubt, and cruelly is it exercised; but still, I don't know that he can + carry everything his own way.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you know what packing a jury means?” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” replied Mary, starting, and getting pale, “I do indeed, Poll. I + have heard of it too frequently.” + </p> + <p> + “What, then, has the Vulture, the blood-hound, to do, but to get twelve + Orangemen upon the jury, and the work is done?” + </p> + <p> + The unhappy girl burst into tears, and wrung her hands, for, however + questionable the veracity of her present informant, she knew, from the + unfortunate circumstances of the country, that such corrupt influences had + too frequently been exerted. + </p> + <p> + “Don't you know,” added Poll, “that the thing can be done? Isn't the + sheriff himself an Orangeman—isn't the sub-sheriff an Orangeman—isn't + the grand jury Orange, aren't they all Orange through other?” + </p> + <p> + “I believe so, indeed,” said Mary, still weeping bitterly, “and there is, + I fear, little or no hope.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but,” replied Poll, “what if I could give you hope?” + </p> + <p> + “You, Poll, what can you mean? You!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, me,” said Poll, “poor as I stand here now.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but how?” + </p> + <p> + “Through them that can turn old Val the Vulture round their finger. What + do you think brought me here—or who do you think sent me? Don't you + know that I have no raison to like a bone in the skin of one o' your + family, and that it's more, of coorse, to plaise others than myself that + I'm here; but, over and above that, you, Miss M'Loughlin, never offended + or injured me, and I'm willin' to sarve you in this business, if you will + sarve yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “But, how—but, how?” replied the distracted girl, “only tell me + how?” + </p> + <p> + “There is one, and only one, that can twist Val round his finger, and in + this same business is willing to do so—and that one is his own son, + Phil.” + </p> + <p> + Mary stood for a moment without even breathing; indeed, she exhibited + strong symptoms of disgust at his very name. + </p> + <p> + “He is a person I detest,” she replied, “beyond any human creature.” + </p> + <p> + “That may be,” said Poll, “but still he can save the man that is to be + your husband; and that's what you ought to think of—the time is + short now, and the loss of a day may ruin all. Listen Miss M'Loughlin:—Mr. + Phil desired me to say to you, that if you will allow him a few minutes' + conversation with you behind the garden, about dusk or a little after it, + he'll satisfy you that he can and will save him—but it must be on + the condition of seeing you, as I say.” + </p> + <p> + “Let him be generous,” she replied, “and impose no such condition.” + </p> + <p> + “He won't interfare on any other terms,” replied Poll; “he knows, it + seems, that you have an unfavorable opinion of him, and he wishes to prove + to you that he doesn't desarve it.” + </p> + <p> + Mary paused for some time, and appeared very much distressed. I fear, + thought she, it is selfish in me to think of my own feelings, or to have a + moment's hesitation in sacrificing them to his safety. It is certainly a + disgusting task to meet this man; but what ought I not to do, consistent + with conscious rectitude of motive, to save my dear Harman's life, for I + fear the circumstances come to that. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, Poll, if I meet this man, mark me, it is solely for the + purpose of striving to save Mr. Harman's life; and observe, because Mr. + M'Clutchy is ungenerous enough to make my meeting him the condition of his + interference.” + </p> + <p> + “That,” said Poll, “is for yourself to consider; but surely you would be a + strange girl, if you refused to meet him for such a purpose. That would be + a quare way of showing your love to Mr. Harman.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall meet him, then,” said Mary, “at the stile behind the garden; and + may God direct and protect me in what I purpose!” + </p> + <p> + Poll gave no amen, to this, as it might be supposed she would have done, + but simply said— + </p> + <p> + “I'm glad, Miss M'Loughlin, that you're doin' what you are doin'. It'll be + a comfort maybe to yourself to reflect on it hereafther. Good night, + Miss.” + </p> + <p> + Mary bade her good night, and after closing the shutters of her room which + she had come to do, retired; and with an anxious heart returned to the + parlor. + </p> + <p> + M'Loughlin's family consisted of three sons and but one daughter, Mary, + with whom our readers are already acquainted. The eldest, James, was a + fine young man of twenty-three; the second, Tom, was younger than Mary, + who then was entering her twenty-first; and the youngest, called Brian, + after his father, was only eighteen. The honest fellow's brow was clouded + with a deep expression of melancholy, and he sat for some time silent + after Mary's return to the parlor. At length he said in a kind of + soliloquy— + </p> + <p> + “I wish, <i>Raymond-na-hattha</i>, you had been behind the Slievbeen + Mountains that bitter morning you came for James Harman!” + </p> + <p> + “If he had,” said Tom, “poor James wouldn't be where he is to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “But I hope, father,” said Mary, in a voice which though it trembled a + little, yet expressed a certain portion of confidence—“I hope as it + was an accident, that there will not be any serious risk.” + </p> + <p> + “I would be sorry to take any hope out of your heart that's in it, Mary; + but, still, I can't forget that Val the Vulture's his bitterest enemy—and + we all know what he's capable of doing. His son, too, graceful Phil, is + still worse against him than the father, especially ever since Harman + pulled his nose for what he said of Mary here. Did I ever mention it to + you?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir,” replied Mary, coloring without exactly knowing why, “you never + did.” + </p> + <p> + “I was present,” said young Brian, “but it wasn't so much for what he + said, for he got afraid, but the way he looked.” + </p> + <p> + “The scoundrel,” said James, indignantly, “well Brian—” + </p> + <p> + “'Twas at the Ball Alley,” proceeded the young fellow, “in Castle Cumber; + Mary was passing homewards, and Phil was speaking to long Tom Sharpe, + father to one of the blood-hounds. 'That's a purty girl,' said Sharpe, + 'who is she?' 'Oh,' says Phil, 'an acquaintance of mine—but I can + say no more honor bright,' and he winked one of his squinting eyes as he + spoke. James Harman who was standing behind him stepped forward, 'but I + can say more,' said he, 'she's daughter to Brian M'Loughlin, and no + acquaintance of yours—and what is more, never will be; ay, and what + is more,' said James, 'here's a proof of it;' and as he spoke he pulled + Phil's proboscis, and then wiped his fingers in his purty face. 'Now, you + cowardly scoundrel,' he added, 'let that teach you not to speak of any + respectable female in such a tone, or to claim an acquaintance where you + have it not.'” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, my good fellow,” said Phil, “I'll make you smoke for this.” + </p> + <p> + “You know where I'm to be found,” said James, “and your remedy too; but + you haven't the spirit to take it like a man—and so I leave you with + the white feather in your cap.” + </p> + <p> + This anecdote for various reasons distressed Mary beyond relief. It + increased her detestation of young M'Clutchy to the highest possible + pitch, and rendered the very thought of him doubly odious to her heart. + Her understanding became bewildered, and for a while she knew not what she + said or did. Taking a candle and attempting to conceal her agitation, she + withdrew again to her own room, where she sat for nearly half an hour + endeavoring to shape her tumultuous thoughts into something of clearness + and order. + </p> + <p> + M'Loughlin's brow, however, after her departure, still remained clouded. + “Misfortunes they say,” said he, “never come single; here is our lease + out, and we will not get a renewal notwithstanding the fine we offered—and + to mend the matter some good friend has spread a report that the firm of + M'Loughlin and Harman is unsafe. Our creditors are coming down upon us + fast—but it's the way of the world, every one striving to keep + himself safe. If these men were not set upon us by some coward in the dark + there would be neither loss nor risk to them nor to us; but if they press + on us out of the usual course, I fear we won't be able to stand it. Then + poor Harman, too! heighonee!” After some further conversation, in which it + was clear that M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's manoeuvres had begun to develop + themselves, Mary rejoined them. Her countenance on her return was + evidently more composed, and impressed with a more decided, perhaps we + should say, determined character. She had made her mind up. M'Clutchy, + junior, was no doubt one of the most detastable of men, but as she knew + that she hated him, and felt a perfect consciousness of all that was + truthful, and pure, and cautious in herself, she came once more to the + resolution of sacrificing her own disgust to the noble object of saving + her lover. Besides, it was by no means an unreasonable hope on her part; + for such was the state of party and political feeling at the time, that + wiser and more experienced heads would have calculated rightly, and + calculated as she did. + </p> + <p> + “Father,” said she, on returning to the parlor, “don't be cast down too + much about Harman—I think, considering everything, that his case is + far from being hopeless. There is Father Roche—as for poor Mary + O'Regan, in consequence of her insanity, she unfortunately can be of no + use—and one of the blood-hounds are against the two others. Now, two + to two, is surely strong evidence in his favor.” + </p> + <p> + She did not, however, make the slightest allusion to the grounds on which + she actually did rest her hope—that is to say, on Phil's influence + over his father. + </p> + <p> + M'Loughlin was glad to see that her spirits were so much more improved + than they had been; and so far from uttering anything calculated, to + depress them, he appeared to feel much more easy in his mind than before—and, + perhaps, actually did so. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he to his wife, who was a woman of few words but deep + feeling; “Kathleen, will you see that we get a glass of punch—the + boys and I; there can be no harm surely in drinking a ———; + but it's time enough to drink it when we see the liquor before us. Mary, + avourneen, as you are activer than your mother, will you undertake that + duty?—do, avillish machree.” + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes Mary quietly but actively had the decanter, sugar, and + hot water before them; and Brian, having mixed a tumbler for himself, and + shoved the materials over to his two eldest boys, resumed the + conversation. + </p> + <p> + “Come, boys; are you mixed?” + </p> + <p> + “All ready, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, here's that James Harman may triumph over his enemies!” + </p> + <p> + This was drank, we need not say, with an anxious and sincere heart. + </p> + <p> + “Do you know now,” said M'Loughlin, “that I think there's a very great + difference between little M'Slime, and that Vulture of hell, M'Clutchy. + The little fellow came riding past to-day, and seeing me in the field, he + beckoned to me:— + </p> + <p> + “'I hope,' says he, 'that certain reports, which I was sorry to hear of, + are unfounded?' + </p> + <p> + “'What reports, Mr. M'Slime?' says I to him. + </p> + <p> + “'Why,' said he, 'it is not out of idle curiosity that I make the inquiry, + but I trust from better and more Christian motives;' and, upon my + conscience, the little fellow turned up his eyes towards heaven, in a way + that would shame Father Roche himself. Faith, if there wasn't truth there, + I don't know where you could get it. 'The reports I speak of,' says he, + 'touch the solvency of your firm.' + </p> + <p> + “'Able to pay fifty shillings in a pound,' said I, not willing to + encourage the outcry. + </p> + <p> + “'I'm delighted to hear it,' says generous little Solomon; 'but all I have + to say is, that if it had been otherwise, or should it actually be + otherwise, so far as a few hundred pounds go, you may draw upon a man—a + sinner—a frail mortal and an unworthy—named Solomon M'Slime. + This,' he went on, 'is not mere worldly friendship, Mr. M'Loughlin, that + promises much until the necessity arrives, and then do all such promises + flee as it were into the wilderness. No, my friend,' says the warm-hearted + little saint, 'no my friend, these offers are founded not on my own + strength, so to say, but upon those blessed precepts, Mr. M'Loughlin, + which teach us to love our neighbors as ourselves—and to do unto + others even as we wish they should do unto us.' He squeezed my hand, and + whispered in my ear—'As far as three hundred pounds go, should you + require it, rely on me; but harkee,' says he, 'and now,'—well, + here's his health—'and now,' says he, 'and now,'—oh! I knew he + was in earnest—'and now,' says he, 'one word with you—I trust—I + hope, I may say, that I am a Christian man, who would not speak aught + against my neighbor; but this, out of a principle of Christian kindness, I + will say;—beware of Valentine M'Clutchy. It is known there!' said + he, pointing his finger, and turning up his eyes to heaven—'it is + known there from what motives I speak this. I am glad I saw thee—peace + be with thee—farewell, and do not despise or overlook my services, + or my poor sinful offers.'” + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said the simple-minded but upright and unsuspicious man, “I do say + that was no every-day offer. I would be glad to hear M'Clutchy make such + an offer to any man—for which reason here's little Solomon's health + once more, and long life to him!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X.—A Dutiful Grandson and a Respectable Grandmother + </h2> + <p> + —Military Dialogue —Disobedience of Orders—Solomon's + Candor—A Confidential Communication—Solomon Dances the + Swaggering jig—Honest Correspondence—Darby's Motion of + Spiritual Things—Two Religions Better than One—Darby's Love of + Truth. + </p> + <p> + We believe our readers may understand, that although we have ourselves + taken the liberty of insinuating that little Solomon, as M'Loughlin called + him, was not precisely—but we beg pardon, it is time enough to speak + of that yet. All we have to say in the mean time is, that Solomon's + character, up to the period we speak of, was not merely spotless, but a + burning and a shining light in the eyes of all the saints and sinners of + the religious world, not only in Castle Cumber, but in the metropolis + itself. Solomon was an Elder of his congregation, in which Sabbath after + Sabbath he took his usual prominent part as collector—raised the + psalms—sang loudest—and whenever the minister alluded to the + mercy that was extended to sinners, Solomon's groan of humility—of + sympathy with the frail, and of despair for the impenitent; his groan, we + say, under these varied intimations of Gospel truth, was more than a + sermon in itself. It not only proclaimed to the whole congregation that he + was a sinner, but that he felt for sinners—rejoiced in their + repentance, which he often did in a nondescript scream, between a groan + and a cackle of holy joy, that alarmed the congregation; but also wept for + their hardness of heart, when he imagined that it was likely to terminate + in final reprobation, with such a pathetic fervency, that on many such + occasions some of those who sat beside him were obliged to whisper—“Brother + M'Slime, you are too much overcome—too piously excited—do not + allow yourself to exhibit such an excess of Christian sympathy, or there + will be many instances among the weaker vessels of relapses and + backslidings, from not understanding that it is more for others thou art + feeling than for thyself.” + </p> + <p> + Solomon then took his hands from before his face, wiped his eyes with his + handkerchief on which they had been embedded, and with a serene and rather + heavenly countenance looked up to the preacher, then closing his eyes as + if in a state of ethereal enjoyment, he clasped his hands with a sweet + smile, twirling his thumbs and bowing his head, as the speaker closed + every paragraph of the discourse. + </p> + <p> + These observations account very plainly for the opinions touching Solomon + which were expressed by M'Loughlin. Solomon was at this time an + unadulterated saint—a professor—in fact one of the elect who + had cast his anchor sure. But as the proverb gays, time will tell. + </p> + <p> + That night M'Loughlin and his family retired to bed for the first time + overshadowed, as it were, by a gloomy presentiment of some change, which + disturbed and depressed their hearts. They slept, however, in peace and + tranquillity, free from those snake-like pangs which coil themselves + around guilt, and deaden its tendencies to remorse, whilst they envenom + its baser and blacker purposes. + </p> + <p> + M'Slime himself at this crisis was beginning privately to feel some of the + very natural consequences of his own oft acknowledged frailty. Phil, who + had just left Constitution Cottage a few minutes before Darby's arrival, + had not seen him that morning. The day before he had called upon his + grandfather, who told him out of the pallor window to “go to h—-; + you may call tomorrow, you cowardly whelp, if you wish to see me—but + in the meantime,” he added as before, “go where I desired you.” + </p> + <p> + Phil, who possessed a great deal of his father's selfishness and also of + his low cunning, but none at all of his ability, turned back indignantly + and rode home again. He had not passed more than about a hundred yards + from the avenue out into the highway, when he met Sharpe, one of the + heroes of the cabin. + </p> + <p> + We shall not detail their conversation, which, of course, embraced many of + the circumstances connected with their duties, excepting a few + interjectional imprecations which Phil in an occasional parenthesis + dutifully bestowed upon his grandfather. + </p> + <p> + “So, Sharpe, the fool Rimon made such a devil of a fight (the infernal old + scoundrel)—and took the gun.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Captain Phil, if he hasn't the strength of ten men, I'll never + manoeuvre on parade while I live—he's a bloody rascal.” + </p> + <p> + “(A double distilled old scoundrel, and I wish the devil had him,)—he's + a bad bird, Sharpe, fool and all as he is, there's no doubt of that. What + did the priest do?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, your honor, I can't say that he took much part in it, barrin' once + that he went between us and the woman.” + </p> + <p> + “He had no right to do that—(the blaspheming old vagabond,)—none + at all, Sharpe, and he ought to be prosecuted.” + </p> + <p> + “He ought, Captain, and will, I hope.” + </p> + <p> + “But then, Shaj-pe, if we swing Harman it will be enough, for Harman—(he'll + fiz for it, and that soon I hope)—is another bad bird.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, devil a worse, Captain, but even if he escapes us now, we'll manage + him yet.” + </p> + <p> + They now came to a turn in the road, and found themselves at a bridge, a + little beyond which two roads met. On approaching, they observed an old + woman sitting on a large stone that lay a little beyond the arch. She was + meagrely and poorly dressed, had no cap on, her gray locks were only bound + by a red ribbon that encircled her head, but did not confine her hair, + which floated in large masses about her shoulders, a circumstance that + added to the startling vehemence of character that appeared in her face, + and gave to her whole person an expression which could not be overlooked. + When they had come up to where she sat, and were about to pass without + further notice, she started up, and with steps surprisingly rapid, and + full of energy, seized upon. Phil's bridle. + </p> + <p> + “Well!” she exclaimed, “I saw you going, and I see you coming, but you + cannot tell me that he is dead. No, the death damp of his blaspheming + carcase is not yet on the air, because if it was,” and she turned her nose + against the wind, like a hound, “I would snuff it. No, no; he is not gone, + but he will soon go, and what a catalogue of crimes will follow after him! + The man's conscience is a gaol where every thought and wish of his guilty + life and godless heart is a felon; and the blackest calendar that ever was + spread before God was his. Oh! I wonder do the chains in his conscience + rattle? they do, but his ears are deaf, and he doesn't hear them; but he + will, and feel them too, yet.” + </p> + <p> + Phil, who had got alarmed at the extraordinary energy of her manner, as + well as of her language, said, “what do you want, and who are you speaking + of?” + </p> + <p> + “Who am I speaking of? who should I be speaking of but of old Deaker, the + blasphemer?—and who am I speaking to but the son of the ungodly + villain who threatened to horsewhip the mother that bore him. Do you know + me now?” + </p> + <p> + “Let go my bridle,” exclaimed Phil, “let go my bridle, you old faggot, or + upon my honor and soul I'll give you a cut of my whip.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” she replied, no whit daunted, “no, I'm near my eightieth year. I'm + old, and wrinkled, and gray—my memory forgets everything now but my + own crimes, and the crimes of those that are still worse than myself—old + I am, and wicked, and unrepenting—but I shall yet live to pour the + curses that rise out of an ill-spent life into his dying oar, until his + very soul will feel the scorches of perdition before its everlasting + tortures come upon it in hell. I am old,” she proceeded, “but I will yet + live to see the son that cursed his mother, and threatened to raise his + sacrilegious hand against her that bore him, laid down like a tree, rooted + up and lopped—lying like a rotten log, without sap, without + strength, and only fit to be cut up and cast into the fire. I am old,” she + replied, “but I shall live to see out the guilty race of you all.” + </p> + <p> + “Go to the devil, you croaking old vagabond,” exclaimed Phil, raising his + whip, and letting it fall upon her almost naked shoulders, with a force as + unmanly, as it was cruel, and impious, and shocking. + </p> + <p> + She uttered a scream of anguish, and writhed several times, until her eyes + became filled with tears. “My cup is not full yet,” she exclaimed, + sobbing, “neither is yours, but it soon will be, you knew me well when you + gave that blow; but go now, and see how you'll prosper after it.” + </p> + <p> + Sharpe, even Sharpe, felt shocked at the cowardly spirit which could + inflict such an outrage upon old age, under any circumstances; but much + less under those which even he understood so well. + </p> + <p> + “Captain,” said he, “if it was only for the credit of the Castle Cumber + cavalry, I'm sorry that you gave that blow; those men on the other side of + the road there were looking at you, and you may take my word it will + spread.” + </p> + <p> + “How dare you speak to me in that style?” asked Phil in a rage, and + availing himself of his authority over him, “what is it your business, + Sharpe? Sharpe, you're a scoundrel, for speaking to me in this style—damn + my honor and blood, but you are. What do you know about that old + vagabond?” + </p> + <p> + “Captain,” said Sharpe, who was a sturdy fellow in his way, “I'm no + scoundrel; and I do know that you have just horsewhipped your notorious + ould grandmother.” + </p> + <p> + “Fall back,” said Phil, “and consider yourself arrested.” + </p> + <p> + “Arrest and be hanged,” replied Sharpe, “I don't care a fig about you—I + was in Deaker's corps this many a year, and if you attempt to come the + officer over me, let me tell you you're mistaken. We're not on duty now, + my buck, and you have no more authority over me than you have over the + devil—me a scoundrel! my good fellow, I know who is the scoundrel.” + </p> + <p> + “My good fellow! Damn my honor and blood, do you apply that to me?” + </p> + <p> + “No, I don't,” said Sharpe, “for you're a cursed bad fellow, and no + gentleman—didn't Harman pull your nose in Castle Cumber, and you + wanted the courage then that you had for your ould grandmother—me, a + scoundrel!” + </p> + <p> + “I'll tell you what, Sharpe; is this respect, sir, to your commanding + officer? Sharpe I'll mark you out for this.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't you know,” replied Sharpe, “that two of us c&n play at that + game; you had better keep yourself quiet, if you're wise—a man + that's in the habit of getting his nose pulled should be very + inoffensive.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said gallant Phil, “I'll say no more, but—” He then put + spurs to handsome Harry, and rode off, full of vengeance against Sharpe, + and of indignation at the contumelious reception he experienced at the + hands of his grandfather. + </p> + <p> + Val's letter to M'Slime was, as our readers know, anything but an index to + the state of regard in which he held that worthy gentleman. As we said, + however, that ground was beginning to break a little under his feet, in + spite of all his unction and Christian charity, we shall, while Darby is + on his way to deliver his letter, take that opportunity of detailing a + conversation between honest Solomon and Poll Doolin, upon one or two + topics connected with our tale. + </p> + <p> + “Sam,” said Solomon to his clerk, “you were not present with us at prayer + this morning! You know we do not join in family worship until you come; + and it is but our duty to take an interest in your spiritual welfare. In + the meantime, I should regret, for your own sake, that anything in the + shape of a falling away from your opportunities should appear in you. I + speak now as your friend, Sam, not as your master—nay, rather as + your brother, Sam—as a man who is not without his own lapses and + infirmities, but who still trusts—though not by his own strength—that + he may be looked upon, in some faint degree, as an example of what a man, + wrestling with the cares and trials of life, ought at, least, to strive to + be. To Him be the praise!” + </p> + <p> + “I certainly overslept myself this morning, sir—that is the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, Sam; sloth is one of the disguises under which the enemy often + assails and overcomes us. But to business, Sam. There is an old woman in + Castle Cumber, whose name I scarcely remember. She goes dressed in faded + black, and has a son, to whom, for wise purposes of course, it pleased Him + to deny a full measure of ordinary sense?” + </p> + <p> + “Poll Doolin, sir, the old child-cadger, and her foolish son, Raymond of + the hats.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't say foolish, Sam; don't say foolish—we know not well what the + true difference between wisdom and folly is, nor how much wisdom is + manifested in the peculiar state of this person. We know not, indeed, + whether what we blindly, perhaps, term folly, may not be a gift to be + thankful for. You know the Word says, that the wisdom of man is + foolishness before God. Our duty therefore is, to be thankful and humble.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir; but about Poll Doolin, the child-cadger?” + </p> + <p> + “Child-cadger! that is a term I don't understand, Sam.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, it means a woman who carries—” + </p> + <p> + “Sam, hold; if it be associated with human frailty, it is best left + unspoken. The woman, however, be she what she may—and I know not + what she is—but that she is a responsible being—a partaker of + our common nature, and is entitled to our sympathy. She is, I understand, + in some difficulty, out of which, it seems, professional advice may help + to take her. I expect her, therefore, about this time; and will you, + Samuel, just stand at that window, and when you see her approach the + house, do just, quietly, and without noise, open the hall door. Something + has occurred to discompose the Christian tone which usually prevails in + our household; and poor Susanna is going. But, at all events, Sam, you are + aware, it is said, that we ought not to let our left hand know what our + right hand doeth.” + </p> + <p> + “I know the text, sir, well; it ends with—'and he that giveth in + secret, will reward thee openly.'” + </p> + <p> + “He—hem—ahem! yes it does so end; heigho! I feel, Sam, + slightly depressed in spirit, as it were, and moved, as if somewhat of my + usual support were withdrawn from me.” + </p> + <p> + “Here she is, sir,” said Sam. + </p> + <p> + “Very well, Sam; please to let her in as quietly as may be, and then take + this declaration to the back office, and copy it as soon as you can—it + is of importance. We should always endeavor to render services to our + fellow creatures.” + </p> + <p> + In the mean time, Sam very softly opened the hall door, and the next + moment Poll entered. + </p> + <p> + Solomon, as usual, was certainly seated at his office, and held his + features composed and serious to a degree; still, in spite of everything + he could do, there was an expression half of embarrassment, and half of + the very slightest perceptible tendency to a waggish simile, we can + scarcely call it—but, whatever it might be, there it certainly was, + betraying to Poll, in spite of all his efforts, that there was still the + least tincture imaginable of human frailty associated with such a vast + mass of sanctity. + </p> + <p> + Polly, when she entered, took a seat, and loosening the strings of her + bonnet, raised it a little, and without uttering a word sat silently + looking in M'Slime's face, with a very comic and significant expression on + her own. + </p> + <p> + “No, Polly,” said he, with a serious smile, “no, you are mistaken indeed—frail + we all are, I grant you; but in this case am acting for another. No, no, + Polly—I trust those days of vanity are gone.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, what else am I to do? I sent the reports abroad about + M'Loughlin and Harman's being about to break; and of M'Loughlin I'll soon + have my revenge, by the way—I and somebody else have the train laid + for it.” + </p> + <p> + “Polly, it was from no unchristian spirit of ill-will to them—for I + trust that of such a spirit I am incapable—but to prevent them, by + an unjust act, from injuring, perhaps from ruining others. That is my + motive; but, at the same time, the whole matter is understood to be + strictly confidential between you and me.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't you know, Mr. M'Slime, that when there was an occasion for trustin' + me, I didn't betray you to the world?” + </p> + <p> + “No—you did not; and it is for that reason that I trust you now.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, and you may, too; honor bright is my motive. You remember the day you + passed Darby O'Drive and me, on our way to M'Clutchy's? Did I pretend to + know you then?” + </p> + <p> + “You acted then, Poll, with great and commendable discretion, which you + will please to remember I did not overlook.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Poll, “you behaved decently enough.” + </p> + <p> + “But observe me now, Poll; if this report concerning the firm of + M'Loughlin and Harman should by any possibility be traced to us, or rather + to yourself, and that you should be pressed to disclose it, which, of + course, you could not be; but if a weak moment should ever come—it + is best then to speak the truth, and put the saddle as they rather + profanely say, upon Valentine M'Clutchy, the right horse here.” + </p> + <p> + “Upon M'Clutchy! why bad as he is, he never opened his lips to me on this + subject.” + </p> + <p> + “But he did to me, Poll, because it was from him I first heard the + suggestion; so that in point of truth and justice, you are bound by your + own conscience, or you ought at least—to lay it at his door—and + that now you understand better”—he smiled a little as he uttered + these words—“But why don't you get a better bonnet, that one is very + shabby?” + </p> + <p> + “It's aisier said than done,” replied Poll, “the poor must always look + poor, and will too.” + </p> + <p> + “There then, are ten shillings, Poll; bestow them on that, or on any other + purpose you prefer.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, Mr. M'Slime, troth in the little job I did for you at our + first acquaintance I found you—any way not worse than another. Well, + but you can't desave me now—I see it in your eye—you have + something else to say to me.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, nothing to signify. Merely a serious young person would wish to + remove for change of air to some quiet nook until health—which, + indeed, is the chiefest of temporal blessings, might be recovered.” + </p> + <p> + “Man or woman?” + </p> + <p> + “A serious young woman, Poll.” + </p> + <p> + “I see, I see, Mr. M'Slime; I know nothing more about it.” + </p> + <p> + “Poll, listen—I shall no longer withhold confidence from you in this + matter—unfortunately a member, indeed, I may say, two of our + congregation have had a woeful fall. He ranks very high in it, and this is + an act of the greater Christian friendship in me, inasmuch as in + undertaking the management of this for him, I certainly run great risks of + suffering in my own reputation. I cannot name him, for that would be a + breach of confidence in me, but you are called upon to perform the duty + required, and through me he shall compensate you for your trouble.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” replied Poll, “it must be done—and I can tell him + whoever he is, that he could not come to any one that understands such + matters betther.” + </p> + <p> + “Good morning, Poll! Let me hear from you as soon as you can. Peace be + with thee! but Poll, remember one thing, Harman and the M'Loughlins are + going to America.” Poll nodded significantly, but made no reply. + </p> + <p> + The moment she had gone, which she did by the aid of Solomon himself, who + opened and closed the hall door after her, with a quietness of manner that + seemed to communicate oil to the hinges themselves, he touched the bell, + and in due time Susanna looked in. + </p> + <p> + “You rang, sir,” said she. + </p> + <p> + “That arrangement is made;” said he, “so far all is well, or nearly so—go + now.” Susanna immediately withdrew, the few words he said seeming to have + diffused sunshine into a face which appeared doubly serious. + </p> + <p> + When she was gone, Solomon laid his head down upon the desk before him, + and remained in that position for some time. At length without at all + raising it he began to play his knuckles against the lid, with a degree of + alacrity which would not have disgraced the activity of a sleight-of-hand + man. He at last rose, drew a long breath, and wore a very smiling face; + but this was not all—O sanctity! O religion! Instead of going to his + Bible, as one would imagine he ought to have done, instead of even taking + up a psalm-book, and indulging in a spiritual song, he absolutely + commenced whistling the Swaggering Jig, which he accompanied with as + nimble a foot, and in as good time as if he had been a dancing-master all + his life. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said he, “I could have done it once, and would like to do it still, + only for this wicked and censorious world.” A knock from Darby O'Drive + recalled him to a perception of his gifts, and when Darby entered he + looked calm and serious as usual. Little could Darby have imagined, + although perfectly aware of M'Slime's knavery, that the pious little man + had just concluded “a short exercise,” in performing the Swaggering Jig. + As it was, however, he found him in a state which might either be termed a + religious meditation, or an intense application to business—a Bible + being on the one hand, and a brief on the other; but to which of the two + he had devoted himself, neither Darby, nor indeed any one else, could + guess. There, however, he sat, a kind of holy link between the law and the + gospel. + </p> + <p> + When Darby entered, and delivered the letter, M'Slime on receiving it + exclaimed, “Ah, from my excellent friend, M'Clutchy. Sit down, Darby, sit + down, and whilst I am casting my eye over this note, do now, in order that + we may make the most of our opportunities, do, I say, Darby, just read a + chapter in this—” handing him over the Bible as he spoke. In the + meantime he read as follows:— + </p> + <p> + “Strictly confidential. + </p> + <p> + “My Dear M'Slime: + </p> + <p> + “In order that the thing may be done as much in the shape and form of a + matter of business as possible, don't you think it would be well for you, + as Harman's lease has expired, to send me a regular written proposal for + it—which proposal I may be able to show in justification of myself, + should anything unfavorable turn up afterwards. Harman's offer was just + double yours, but that is burnt; of course you will also burn this when + you have read it. Your offer of assistance to M'Loughlin was well thought + of; and even if we never, I mean you, should be paid, you are still a + gainer by two hundred pounds. Each has offered a thousand a piece to have + the leases renewed at the present rent; you give five hundred, very good + suppose you lose three—that is, suppose M'Loughlin is driven, as, + please God, he shall be, to allow you to accept a bill for three hundred—don't + you see that you are still two hundred in pocket; no, I am wrong, not two + but seven hundred. You can therefore well afford to lose three by the + transaction, although, as I have said, it is not, in point of fact, losing + three, but gaining seven, or at least five. Phil has also sent me a + written proposal, which I will keep, but M'Loughlin's is gone the way of + Harman's, as a matter of prudence. As for the private consideration + between us, that is only to be glanced at. I give you my honor that Phil + has tendered me two hundred, which I will not take, of course, either from + you or him until the premises are cleared of the present tenants, This + must be done very soon, and, I think it is much to be wished that Harman, + who is a choleric scoundrel, should be put out of the way, if possible, If + he is transported it will save us a good deal of annoyance. I should + regret a meeting between him and Phil very much. Phil tells me that he + once pulled his, Harman's, nose, and it is very natural that he should + bear him a grudge for it. There is half a year's rent due this day, and + the term mentioned in the notice to quit, expires next week. So far, then, + all is right; we have them in our power, and can proceed safely. + Parliament will, it is well ascertained, be certainly dissolved about the + end of May next, so that we must work double tides to bring in his + Lordship. There is a devilish spirit abroad, however, which will occasion + us much trouble; but I cannot agree with you about renewing the leases, + notwithstanding. It is just doing by those who are obstinate and + ill-disposed, precisely as we ought; that is, holding a whip over their + heads, and assuring them that we shall let it fall with rigor, unless they + are agreeable as they ought. The Hon. Richard Topertoe is in London, but, + between you and me, it matters little where he is; you may judge of what + an intermeddling fool he must be, when he had the presumption to urge his + Lordship to come to his native land, and live on his estate. This d——d + Ribbonism and outrage, in spite of all our efforts, are still increasing; + I think, however, that I shall be able to make a pounce some of these + days. I have my spies at work, and let me tell you, that talk as they may, + about its treachery and rascality, the spy system is an admirable one; in + fact, it is like a two-edged sword, and cuts both ways, just as you wish. + If, for instance, you cannot find Ribbonism made to your hand, you may + make it—that is, you can corrupt first, and betray afterwards; + which, at critical moments is unquestionably (I say this between + ourselves) a decided advantage. By the by, my dear Solomon, the force of + religion must be singularly strong and impressive in your life and + conduct, when you have been able so wholesomely to influence that rascal + bailiff of ours, Darby O'Drive. I have seldom, indeed, never witnessed so + striking a change as you have produced in him; to tell you the truth, I + felt a little chagrined and jealous about it; but as he owes us a kind of + divided allegiance, I must rest contented. + </p> + <p> + “Believe me to be, my dear M'Slime, “Yours affectionately and faithfully, + “Val M'Clutchy, J.P.” + </p> + <p> + To this, while Darby was tooth and nail at the Bible, Solomon wrote the + following reply— + </p> + <p> + “My Dear M'Clutchy: + </p> + <p> + “I have just read your letter of this date, and agree with you in the + necessity and propriety of my sending you a written proposal which you can + show at a future time, in order to justify yourself should it be necessary + so to do. I also need not say that your conduct in destroying the + proposals of M'Loughlin and Harman was equally creditable to your head and + heart. Prudence and discretion, my dear Val, are not virtues of every day + occurrence, and as to giving the preference to a Christian friend, I do + not see how a man as you are, with a strong sense of religion, could + without injuring your conscience avoid it. What is it after all, my dear + friend, but a spoiling of the Egyptians, as holy Moses did, when about to + lead the children of Israel from bondage. In that case it was what may be + termed in these our days a description of justifiable theft, such as many + professors of the word do, in matters of business, feel themselves + warranted even now in imitating. It requires, however, to be done + carefully, and within the freedom of the perfect law; but, by no means, + with a worldly or secular spirit, otherwise it will be deprived of that + unction which renders the act a gracious exemplification of our Christian + privileges, instead of a departure from rectitude, which it would be if + committed by an ungodly person. These are distinctions, my dear friend, + which I grant you is not permitted to many to make—only, indeed, I + may humbly and fearfully say to such as have by long wrestling with the + spirit been able to see truth, when the inward eye has been purged from + the grossness of passion, for which to Him be praise and power. Amen! I + herewith enclose you the proposal formally made, and will be ready to hand + over the two hundred Christian manifestations of my gratitude at the + proper season. As to Lord Cumber being a loser by the transaction, such a + loss must have been, we are bound to hope, shaped out for him as a + punishment inflicted for gracious purposes. It is true he is ignorant of + it, and I trust he shall remain so; but then we know that many a blessing + comes to us in deep disguise, and that many a dispensation which we look + upon as a favor from above, is far from being so. If, then, it be true + that this thing is vouchsafed to him as a hidden blessing, let us be + thankful that we have been selected as the unworthy means through whom he + is made to receive it; or if it comes to him as a punishment, still it is + our duty to reflect that we are merely the instruments through whose + frailties, or virtues, as the case may be, he is visited, and that from + the beginning this and many other acts which a blind unenlightened world + might censure, were ordained for us, in order that the perfect scheme of + Providence might be fulfilled. + </p> + <p> + “With respect to the spy system, I do agree with you fully. Many things + must be done in secret, which the perversity of the world will not bear to + hear of without committing sin. For instance, my dear Val, in sowing your + crop of loyalty, so to speak, it might not, perhaps, be wrong—I am + speaking, now observe, with reference to the cunning of the serpent, which + you know we are enjoined to have, and if to have, of course to use when + necessary; it might not, perhaps, be wrong I say, to cast a tare or two, + if only for the purpose of employing our friends and fellow creatures to + pull them, out again. It is as it were, giving the idle employment, and + enabling ourselves in the mean time to gather an abundant harvest into our + own garners. + </p> + <p> + “With respect to Darby, I trust, that if my unworthy example and earnest + precept have been successful in rescuing him from the bonds of error and + sin—but what is still more dangerous, from the damnable thrall of + Popery—it is not for me to vainly extol myself therefor. His + conversion, however, will, I trust, be edifying to that interesting, but + neglected class, the bailiffs of Ireland. With reference to them, I am + engaged during the very few leisure hours that I can steal—so to + speak—from my professional employment, in writing a second tract + especially for their improvement. It will be appropriately called, <i>The + Bailiff's Beacon or a Strengthener for tender Consciences</i>, By their + friend and brother Christian, Solomon M'Slime, Attorney at Law. + </p> + <p> + “Verily, my lines have been made to fall in pleasant places. On yesterday, + I had the satisfaction to be appointed <i>soul</i> agent to the Religious + Cosmopolitan Assurance Association, being a branch of the Grand Junction + Spiritual Railway Society for travellers to a better world. The salary is + liberal, but the appointment—especially to a man of sincere + principles—is full of care and responsibility. Allow me, my dear + Val, to recommend you and your friends to purchase shares in the Spiritual + Railway Society—it is under Him the safest of all associations yet + established. The arrangements are admirably adapted for the projects in + view. All the seats are delightfully soft, and as somnolent as church + pews, to which they bear a close resemblance. The machine men, and all + those appointed to situations on the line, are mostly in orders; but + belong to different denominations. The scheme originated in Oxford, and + has spread rapidly throughout the length and breadth of the land. Several + of the stokers are bishops, and the reverend feeders discharge their + respective duties with singular effect. It is hoped besides, that it may, + under divine guidance, be the glorious means of bringing Popery within the + influence of truth, whilst its enemies—for it has enemies—as + who has not—its enemies assert that whether it shall take in Popery, + or Popery take in it, is a matter very difficult to be determined. + </p> + <p> + “They are also exceedingly expert at tract writing, which they perform, if + I may say so, without boasting or vanity, very much in my own spirit. Poor + Susanna is ailing—I mean a serious young person in our family who + tended our little olive branches and understood my habits. She is leaving + us, and I shall miss her, for I am one of those persons, my dear friend, + who have a heart for—and I trust I may say, that can sympathize with—my + fellow creatures, however humble. Do you remember that I once availed + myself of a Christian privilege, to mention between us the subject of + family prayer? + </p> + <p> + “I remain, my dear M'Clutchy, with, may I hope, a few of the graces of my + calling—an earnest wrestler against sin, + </p> + <p> + “Solomon M'Slime.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, Darby,” said he, having folded the letter enclosing his tender for + Harman's farm, and handed, it to him, “now, that so much is despatched, I + trust we may have a word or two upon a subject of still higher importance. + How do you feel in a spiritual way?—Are your views as clear as ever?—are + you supported—I mean inwardly, for that is the only true support + after all?” + </p> + <p> + “Thrath, Mr. M'Slime, I'm afeard to spake, sir, for fraid I'd say either + more or less than the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “That is a good sign, Darby, but you must avoid profane swearing, which is + a habit you contracted when in the bonds of iniquity; but you must reform + it—or rather, grace will be given you to reform it.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope so,” replied Darby, “and that I'll still get a clearer knowledge + of the truth, plaise Goodness.” + </p> + <p> + Darby, as he uttered these words, would have given a trifle to have had + M'Clutchy to look at. Little did Solomon suspect the truth to which his + convert alluded. + </p> + <p> + “May it in charity be granted!” exclaimed Solomon, slightly twitching up + his eyebrows. “But, Darby, will you be properly prepared on next Sabbath + (D.V.) to bear strong testimony against error and idolatry?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I'll do my best, sir,” replied Darby, “and you know the best can do + no more.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but you can faithfully say that you are utterly free from every + taint of Popery.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, sir, I don't know that that would be altogether prudent. Did you + never hear of the ould proverb, sir—not to throw out the dirty water + till you get in the clane—I'm not sure that I have a sufficient grip + of the new light yet,” said Darby, falling unconsciously into his usual + style of conversation, “but, I hope that by next Sunday, I'll be able to + shine;—an', be me sowl, if I don't, sir, it'll be none o' my fawt—divil + resave the purtier convert in Europe than I'll make when I come to know a + little about it.” + </p> + <p> + “Darby,” said Solomon, impatiently, “this is really very trying to one so + anxious for your spiritual welfare as I am. This awful swearing—I + really fear that some of your light has been withdrawn since our last + interview.” + </p> + <p> + “Not at all unlikely,” replied Darby; “but wid great submission, don't you + think, sir, that two religions is betther than one?” + </p> + <p> + “How do you mean by adverting to such an impossibility?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, suppose I kept the ould one, and joined this new reformation to + it, wouldn't I have two chances instead o' one?” + </p> + <p> + “Darby,” said Solomon, “avoid, or rather Pray that you may be enabled to + avoid the enemy; for I fear he is leading you into a darker error. I tell + you—I say unto you—that you would be much better to have no + religion than the Popish. You have reminded me of one proverb, suffer me + to remind you of another; do you not know, to speak in a worldly figure, + that an empty house is better than a bad tenant? why, I looked on you with + pride, with a kind of and joy as one wilom I had wrestled for, and won + from the enemy; but I fear you are elapsing.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope in God sir,” very gravely, “that you and he won't have to toss up + for me; for I feel myself sometimes one thing, and sometimes the other.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” replied Solomon, “I fear I must give you up, and in that case it + will not be in my power to employ you in a very confidential matter, the + management of which I imagined I could have entrusted to you. That, + however, cannot be now, as no one not amply provided with strong religious + dispositions, could be relied on in it.” + </p> + <p> + Darby, who, in fact, was playing M'Slime precisely as a skilful fisherman + does his fish; who, in order to induce him the more eagerly to swallow the + bait, pretends to withdraw it from his jaws, by which means it is certain + to be gulped down, and the fish caught. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, sir,” replied Darby, “I'm greatly afeared that every person like me + must struggle with great temptations.” + </p> + <p> + “That is an excellent observation,” said Solomon; “and I do suppose, that + since this desirable change took place in your heart, you must have been + woefully beset.” + </p> + <p> + “Never suffered so much in my life,” replied the other. “Now there's your + two beautiful tracts, and may I never die in sin—I hope, sir, + there's no great harm in that oath? + </p> + <p> + “No great harm but you had better omit it, however—it smacks of sin + and superstition.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir—may I never—I beg pardon—but any how, the + truth is, that ever since I tuck to readin' them, I feel myself gettin' as + dishonest as if the devil—” + </p> + <p> + “Do not name him so, Darby—it is profane; say the enemy, or Satan, + or the tempter.” + </p> + <p> + “As if the whole three o' them, then, war at my elbow. Why, for the last + three or four days, I may say, they have cleared me out as clane of + honesty as the black boy himself, and it is worse I am gettin'. Now, sir, + it stands to sense, that that's temptation.” + </p> + <p> + “Unquestionably; and my great hope and consolation is, that you yourself + are conscious of it. All you have to do now, is to pray unceasingly—wrestle + in prayer, and you will ultimately triumph. Sing spiritual songs, too; + read my tracts with attention; and, in short, if you resist the dev—hem—Satan, + they will flee from you. Give that letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, and let me see + you on the day after to-morrow—like a giant refreshed with new + strength.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, now,” said Darby, assuming a more serious look—“do you know, + sir, that I think your words have put new strength into me. Somehow I feel + as if there was a load removed from me. May the mother of heaven—hem—I + do, sir; and now, as a proof of it, I wouldn't feel justified, sir, in + leaving you, widout sayin' a word or two about the same M'Clutchy, who, + between you and me—but I hope it won't go farther, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't think it would be permitted to me to betray confidence—I + humbly think so. Be not afraid, but speak.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, he has got a dirty trick of speakin' disrespectfully of you + behind your back.” + </p> + <p> + “Human weakness, Darby! poor profligate man! Proceed, what does he say?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, if it 'ud be agreeable to you, I'd rather not be goin' over + it.” + </p> + <p> + “We should know our friends from our enemies, O'Drive; but I forgive him, + and shall earnestly pray for him this night. What did he say?” + </p> + <p> + “Why he said, sir—verily, thin, I'm ashamed to say it.” + </p> + <p> + “Did he speak only of myself?” inquired Solomon, with something like a + slight, but repressed appearance of alarm. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, of nobody else, sir. Well, then, he said, sir—but sure I'm only + repatin' his wicked words—he said, sir, that if you were cut up into + the size of snipe shot, there would be as much roguery in the least grain + of you, as would corrupt a nation of pickpockets.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor man! I forgive him. Do you not see me smile, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “I do, indeed, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, that is a smile of forgiveness—of pure Christian forgiveness—free + from the slightest taint of human infirmity. I am given to feel this + delightful state of mind at the present moment—may He be praised!—proceed.” + </p> + <p> + “It is a blessed state, sir, and as you can bear it—and as I can trust + you, what I could not him—I will go on:—” he said, “besides, + sir, that your example had made the ould boy himself a worse boy now than + he had ever been before he ever knew you I—that in temptin' you, he + got new dodges of wickedness that he was never up to till he met you, and + that he's now receivin' lessons from you in the shape of a convartin' + parson.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! well!—I see, I see—that is an unchristian allusion to my + recent intercourse with the Rev. Phineas Lucre, the respected and highly + connected rector of Castle Cumber, and his nephew, the Rev. Boanerges + Frothwell, both of whom take a deep interest in the New Reformation + movement which is now so graciously advancing. However, I shall pray for + that man this night.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, I feel much relieved; I'm a changed man widin these few minutes, I + may say—but what, afther all, is aquil to a good example? I feel, + sir, as if a strong hatred of idolaphry was comin' an me.” + </p> + <p> + “Idolatry, you mean, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir, that's what I mean.” + </p> + <p> + “Where is that letter of Mr. M'Clutchy's—oh, I have it. Well, + Darby,” said M'Slime, quietly changing it for another, “here it is; now, + do you see how I commit that letter to the flames?” placing M'Clutchy's + under the side of a brief; “and even as the flames die away before your + eyes, so dies away—not my resentment, Darby, for none do I entertain + against him—but the memory of his offensive expressions.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” said Darby, “this is wonderful! I often heard of religion and + forgiveness of injuries, but antil this day I never saw them in their + thrue colors. The day after to-morrow I'm to call, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “The day after to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir, may the Holy Virgin this day—och, indeed I do not know + what I'm sayin' sir—Religion! well if that's not religion what is or + can be? Good mornin' sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Good morning, Darby, and remember my advice—pray, sing, wrestle—peace + be with you!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI.—Darby and Solomon at Prayer + </h2> + <p> + —An Instance of Pure Charity—-Candidates for Conversion—An + Appropriate Confidence—The Rev. Phineas Lucre and his Curate, Mr. + Clement—Rev. Father Roche and his Curate, Father M'Cabe. + </p> + <p> + Darby was opening the hall-door, when, as if struck by a new train of + thought, he again tapped at the office door, and begged pardon for + entering. + </p> + <p> + “I'm in a sweet state, sir,” said he; “and would you forgive me, now that + my heart is, full, by lookin' at such an example, if I tuck the liberty of + axin' you to kneel down and offer a Father an' Ave an'—hem—och, + what am I sayin'—an' offer up a wurd in saison for that unfortunate + blaggard, M'Clutchy—any how, it'll improve myself, and I feel as if + there was new strength put into me. Oh, the netarnal scoundrel! To spake + the way he did of sich a man—sich a scantlin of grace—of—oh, + then, do, sir; let us offer up one prayer for him, the vagabond!” + </p> + <p> + The reader will perceive, however, by and by, that Darby's sudden and + enthusiastic principle of charity towards M'Clutchy, wanted that very + simple requisite, sincerity—a commodity, by the way, in which the + worthy bailiff never much dealt. Indeed we may say here, that the object + of his return was connected with anything but religion. + </p> + <p> + A shade of feeling, somewhat rueful, sat on M'Slime's features, until he + caught Darby's eye fixed upon him, when, after rebuking him for the terms + in which he proposed the, prayer, he knelt down, and with a most serene + smile, commenced an earnest supplication, which became still more vehement—then + louder—bewailed his lost state—deplored his keeping aloof from + the means of grace—feared that the example of his old, and sinful, + and blasphemous father, and his most profligate mother, had rendered his + heart impenetrable to all visitations of conscience or religion—if + conscience he ever had, or religion he ever heard; both of which, he, the + humble and sinful suppliant, doubted. What then was his state? Oh! how + could a charitable or truly religious heart bear to think of it without + being deeply affected”—handkerchief here applied to the eyes, and + some sobs—a nondescript sound from Darby, accompanied by a most + pathetic shaking of the sides—evidently as much affected as M'Slime.—The + prayer was then wound up in a long, heavy, dolorous cadence, which + evidently proceeded from a strong conviction that he who prayed was + laboring against all hope and expectation that the humble “mean” then + adopted would be attended by any gracious result—the voice + consequently quavered off into a most dismal sound, which seemed, as it + were, to echo back a doleful answer to their solicitations, and + accordingly Solomon rose up with a groan that could not be misunderstood. + </p> + <p> + “You see, O'Drive,” said he, “we have received no answer—or rather a + bad one—I fear his is a hopeless case, as, indeed, that of every + reprobate and castaway is; and this distresses me.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. M'Slime,” said Darby, “will you excuse me, sir—but the thruth + is, I never properly knew you before.” These words he uttered in a low + confidential voice, precisely such as we might suppose a man to speak in, + who, under his circumstances, had got new convictions. “I'll appear next + Sabbath, and what is better, I think in a few days I'll be able to bring + three or four more along wid me.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you think so?” said M'Slime, a good deal elated at the thought; for + the attorney was only playing his game, which certainly was not the case + with the greater number of the new reformation men, who were as sincere in + their motives as he was hypocritical in his exertions. “And what are their + names, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “I feel, sir,” replied O'Drive, “that it's my duty as a Christian, brought + out of the land of cordage—” + </p> + <p> + “Bondage, Darby.” + </p> + <p> + “Of bondage, to do all I can for the spread o' the gospel. Their names,” + responded Darby, rubbing his elbow with a perplexed face; “don't you think + sir it would be better to wait awhile, till we'd see what could be done + with them privately?” + </p> + <p> + “No, Darby, give me their names and residences, and I will see, that + however hard the times are, they shall not at least be starved for want of—truth.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then,” said Darby, “first, there is Paudeen Rafferty, of + Dernascobe; Paudeen, sir, is, at the present spaking, badly given to + drink, and he swears, and fights mortially, too, the hathen; but, then, + he's in darkness, sir, yet; and you know that the greater the sinner the + greater the saint. If Paudeen was dacently convarted he'd make a mighty + fine Christian no doubt. To be sure he has two wives, along wid his love + for liquor and fightin'; but wouldn't it be a good plan to bring them + over, too, sir; the poor lost cratures, sunk, as they are, in hathenism + and vociferation?” + </p> + <p> + “Very good, I have him down, Darby; we must struggle, however, to win him + over and to induce him to give up his guilty connections. Are they young, + Darby!” + </p> + <p> + “Two of the best looking young women in the parish.” + </p> + <p> + “We must only see, then, if they can be rescued also; for that is a duty—a + pressing duty, certainly.” + </p> + <p> + “But I'm afeard, sir, it 'ud take a ship load o' Scripture to convart the + three o' them.” + </p> + <p> + “We shall try, however; nothing is to be despaired of under such + circumstances, unless I am afraid the regeneration of that unhappy man + M'Clutchy—(eyes turned up). Who next?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you may set down Harry M'Murt, of Drinnska. Harry's an unsettled + kind of fellow, or as they call him a Rake. It would be an active charity + to convert him—and that could convert him for he has as many twists + in him as an eel—if it was only for the sake of gettin' him to spake + the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “Who else, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Put down Charley Casey, sir; and if you take my advice, you'll set in at + the convarsion of him while his famine lasts—otherwise, he's a + bitter idolapher as ever welted an Orangeman; but against that, he has the + stomach o' three men—and the best time to come at him wid the gospel + is the present. Bait it wid a flitch of bacon on the one side, and a + collop o' fresh meat on the other, now before the praties comes in, and + you're sure of him.” + </p> + <p> + “Any others, Dairby?—but, indeed, as far as we have gone yet, the + cases appear to me to be difficult ones. However, there is joy in heaven, + Darby, over one sinner—and surely the greater the sin the greater + the joy and the triumph. Any others?” + </p> + <p> + “Mark down Molly Crudden, sir—she would be a glorious catch if a + word in saison could fasten on her. She goes by the name of Funny Eye. The + poor woman is mother to a large family of childre, sir; and the worst of + it is, that no two o' them goies by the same name. It would be a proud day + that we could make sure of her, especially as Father Roche and Mr. M'Cabe, + his curate, were obliged to give her up, and forbid her the parish; but + Funny Eye only winks and laughs at them and the world. She's the last, sir—but + I'll be on the look out, God willin', for a few more desperate cases to + crown our victory over the dev—ahem! over Satan and the priests.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, let me see you, as I said, the day after to-morrow, and in + the mean time—peace, and joy, and victory be with you!” + </p> + <p> + “The same to you, sir, and many of them! Amin—I pray the sweet queen + o' heaven this day!” + </p> + <p> + “Darby,” said M'Slime, who looked upon his mingling up religious + expressions peculiar to his class as a proof of his sincerity—“Darby,” + said he in a low, condensed, and collected voice—“I said I had the + execution of a commission to entrust to you.” + </p> + <p> + “But, sir,” said Darby, whose ears, could they have shaped themselves + according to his wishes, would have ran into points in order to hear with + more acuteness—“Sir,” said he, “I doubt I'm not worthy of such a + trust.” + </p> + <p> + “Perfectly worthy, Darby,” continued Solomon, “if I did not think so I + would not employ you—I have engaged another person to prepare, as it + were, the way for you; but the truth is, it would never do to allow that + person and the young person of whom you are going to take charge to be + seen together. Evil constructions would most assuredly be put on innocent + actions, Darby, as they often are; and for this reason it is that I have + partly changed my mind, and will entrust one-half the commission I speak + of to you.” As if, however, he feared that the very walls might justify + the old proverb by proving that they had ears, he stood up and whispered a + short, but apparently most interesting communication to Darby, who + appeared to listen to a tale that was calculated rather to excite + admiration than any other feeling. And we have little doubt, indeed, that + the tale in question was given as illustrating the exertion of as pure an + instance of Christian compassion and benevolence as ever was manifested in + the secret depths of that true piety which shuns the light; for Darby's + journey was most assuredly to be made in the dark and still hours of the + night. On opening the door a party of three or four clients were about to + knock, but having given them admission he went away at rather a brisk, if + not a hasty pace. + </p> + <p> + Darby having concluded this interview was proceeding, not exactly in the + direction of M'Clutchy's, but as the reader shall soon hear, to a very + different person, no other than the Rev. Phineas Lucre, D.D., Rector of + the Parish of Castle Cumber; a living at that time worth about eighteen + hundred a year. + </p> + <p> + The Rev. Phineas Lucre, then, was a portly gentleman, having a proud, + consequential air stamped upon his broad brow and purple features. His + wife was niece to a nobleman, through whose influence he had been promoted + over the head of a learned and pious curate, whose junior Mr. Lucre had + been in the ministry only about the short period of twenty-five years. + Many persons said that the curate had been badly treated in this + transaction, but those persons must have known that he had no friends + except the poor and afflicted of his parish, whose recommendation of him + to his bishop, or the minister of the day, would have had little weight. + His domestic family, too, was large, a circumstance rather to his + disadvantage; but he himself was of studious, simple, and inexpensive + habits. As for dinners he gave none, except a few fragments of his + family's scanty meal to some hungry, perhaps, deserted children, or to a + sick laborer when abandoned by his landlord or employer, the moment he + became unable to work. From the gentry of the neighborhood he got no + invitations, because he would neither sing—dance—drink—nor + countenance the profligacies of their sons—nor flatter the pride and + vanity of their wives and daughters. For these reasons, and because he + dared to preach home truths from his pulpit, he and his unpretending + children had been frequently made objects of their ridicule and insolence. + What right, then, had any one to assert that the Rev. Mr. Clement had + received injustice by the promotion over his head of the Rev. Phineas + Lucre, to the wealthy living of Castle Cumber, when he had no plausible or + just grounds beyond those to which we have adverted, on which to rest his + claim for preferment? The curate was pious, we admit, but, then, his + wife's uncle was not a lord. He was learned, but, then, he had neither + power nor the inclination to repay his patrons—supposing him to have + such, by a genius for intrigue, or the possession of political influence. + He discharged his religious duties as well as the health of a frame worn + by affliction, toil, and poverty, permitted him; but, then, he wrote no + pamphlets adapted to the politics by which he might rise in the church. He + visited the sick and prayed with them; but he employed not his abilities + in proving to the world that the Establishment rewarded piety and + learning, rather than venal talents for state intrigue or family + influence. + </p> + <p> + Far different from him was his aforenamed rector, the Rev. Phineas Lucre. + Though immeasurably inferior to his curate in learning, and all the + requisite qualifications for a minister of God, yet was he sufficiently + well read in the theology of his day, to keep up a splendid equipage. + Without piety to God, or charity to man, he possessed, however, fervent + attachment, to his church, and unconquerable devotion to his party. If he + neglected the widow and the orphan whom he could serve, he did not neglect + the great and honorable, who could serve himself. He was inaccessible to + the poor, 'tis true; but on the other hand, what man exhibited such + polished courtesy, and urbanity of manner, to the rich and exalted. + Inferiors complained that he was haughty and insolent; yet it was well + known, in the teeth of all this, that no man ever gave more signal proofs + of humility and obedience to those who held patronage over him. It + mattered little, therefore, that he had no virtues for the sick, or + poverty-stricken, in private life, when he possessed so many excellent + ones for those in whose eyes it was worth while to be virtuous as a public + man. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre, possessing high political connection, and withal affecting to + be very religious, presented singular points of character for observation. + He was a great disciplinarian in theory, and rendered it imperative on his + poor overworn curate to be so in practice; but being always engaged in the + pursuit of some ecclesiastical windfall, he consequently spent most of his + time, and of his money, either in our own metropolis or London—but + principally in the latter. He did not, however, leave either his + discipline or his devotion as a public man behind him. In Dublin, he was + practical in worshipping the Lord Lieutenant—and in London, the + King; whilst his curate was only worshipping God in the country. The + result of his better sense and more seasonable piety soon became evident, + on his part, in the shape of an appointment to a second living; and that + of his curate, in obscurity, poverty, and that useless gift, a good + conscience. + </p> + <p> + We have said that Mr. Lucre was not Pious; yet we are far from saying that + he had not all the credit of piety. His name, in fact, was always + conspicuous among the most bountiful contributors to the religious + societies. Indeed he looked upon most of them as excellent auxiliaries to + the cold and scanty labors of those worldly-minded or indolent pastors, + who think, when they have furnished every family in the parish with a + Bible and a sheaf of tracts, that they have done their duty. Mr. Lucre, + consequently, bore an excellent character everywhere but among the poor, + sick, and indigent of his two large parishes; and if a eulogium had been + called for on him, he would have received an admirable one from the + societies to whose funds he contributed, from the gentry of his respective + parishes, and from the grand juries of the two counties in which they + we're situated. + </p> + <p> + What more than this could be expected? Here was ample testimony for those + who required it, to establish the zeal, efficiency, talents, integrity, + charity and piety of that worthy and useful minister of God—the Rev. + Phineas Lucre, D.D. + </p> + <p> + Such were a few of the virtues which belonged to this gentleman. His + claims for preferment were, indeed, peculiarly strong; and when we mention + the political influence of himself and his friends, his wife's powerful + connections, added to his able pamphlets, and the great mass of sound + information regarding the state of the country, which in the discharge of + his religious duties, he communicated from time to time to the government + of the day—we think we have said enough to satisfy our readers that + he ought not to be overlooked in the wealthy and pious Establishment, + which the Irish Church then was. Still, in fact, we cannot stop here, for + in good truth Mr. Lucre had yet stronger claims for preferment than any we + have yet mentioned. He did not stand in need of it. In addition to a large + dowry received with his wife, he possessed a private fortune of fourteen + hundred pounds per annum, with which, joined to his two large livings, he + was enabled to turn out a very primitive and apostolic equipage, such as + would have made the hearts of the Apostles rejoice in reflecting, that so + many new virtues were to spring up in the progress of society from the + lowly-religion they established. + </p> + <p> + Such is a pretty full sketch of a large class which existed at a former + period in the Established Church of Ireland. Mr. Lucre was, besides, what + may be termed one of the first fruits of that which is called modern + sanctity or saintship, being about two-thirds of the Tory and High + Churchman, and one of the Evangelical. + </p> + <p> + In the same parish of Castle Cumber resided two other clergyman of a + different creed and character; the Rev. James Roche, the venerable parish + priest, was one of those admirable pastors whose lives are the most + touching and beautiful exponent of the Christian faith. In this amiable + man were combined all these primitive virtues which are so suitable, and, + we may add, necessary, to those who are called upon to mingle with the + cares and affections, joys and sufferings, of an humble people. Without + pride, beyond the serene simplicity which belonged to his office, he yet + possessed the power of engaging the affections and respect of all who knew + him, whether high or low. With the poor, and those entrusted to his + spiritual charge, were all his sympathies, both as a man and a pastor. + His, indeed, was no idle charge, nor idly, nor with coldness or pride, + were its duties entered upon or performed. His little purse and small + means were, less his own than the property of the poor around him; his eye + was vigilant of want and of sorrow, of crime and frailty—and + wherever the painful rebuke, the humble and the consoling word was + necessary, there stood he to I administer it. Such was Father Roche, as + the pastor of a large but poor flock, who had few sympathies to expect, + save those which this venerable man was able to afford them. Very + different from him, on the other hand, was his curate, the Rev. Patrick + M'Cabe, or M'Flail, as he was nicknamed by the Orangemen of the parish, in + consequence of a very unsacerdotal tendency to use the horsewhip, as a + last resource, especially in cases where reason and the influence of + argument failed. He was a powerful young man, in point of physical + strength, but as his temperament was hot and choleric, the consciousness + of this strength often led him, under its impulse, in desperate cases, to + a mode of reasoning, which, after all, no man more than himself + subsequently regretted. Zealous he unquestionably was, but beyond the + bounds prescribed by a spirit of Christian moderation. I know not how it + happened, but the Orangeman hated him with an intensity of detestation, + which, however, he paid back to them tenfold. His vast strength, which had + been much improved by a strong relish for athletic exercises, at which he + was unrivaled, when joined to a naturally courageous and combative + temperament, often prompted him to manifest, in cases of self-defence, the + possession of powers which they feared to call into exercise. This + disposition, however, which, after all, was not so unnatural, he properly + restrained and kept I in subjection; but, in order to compensate for it, + he certainly did pepper them, in his polemical discourses, with a + vehemence of abuse, which, unquestionably, they deserved at his hands—and + got. With the exception of too much zeal in religious matters, his conduct + was, in every other respect, correct and proper. + </p> + <p> + To return now to Darby, whose steps have been directed, not exactly + towards Constitution Cottage, but towards the spacious glebe-house of the + Rev. Phineas Lucre, which brought him about a mile or two out of his way. + The fact is he was beginning to tire of M'Slime, who, whenever he had + occasion for his services, was certain to shear him of his fees on the one + hand precisely as M'Clutchy did on the other. The change of agents was + consequently of no advantage to him, as he had expected it would be; for + such was the rapacity of the two harpies that each of them took as much as + they could out of the unfortunate tenants, and left Darby little to + comfort himself, with the exception of what he got by their virtuous + example, an example which he was exceedingly apt to follow, if not to + exceed. For this reason he detested them both, and consequently felt a + natural anxiety to set them together by the ears whenever he thought the + proper occasion for it should arrive. Now, an event had taken place the + very day before this, which opened up to his mind a new plan of operations + altogether. This was the death of the under gaoler of Castle Cumber. Darby + began to think of this as a good speculation, should it succeed; but alas! + upon second reflection there stood an insurmountable difficulty in his + way. He was a Roman Catholic so far as he was anything; and this being a + situation of too much trust and confidence at the period to be given to + any one of that persuasion, he knew he he could not obtain it. Well, but + here again he was fortunate, and not without the prospect of some + consolation. The extraordinary movement in the religious world, called the + New Reformation, had just then set in with a liveliness of judgment, and a + celerity of conversion among the lower classes of Roman Catholics, which + scarcely anybody could understand. The saints, however, or evangelical + party, headed by an amiable, benevolent, but somewhat credulous nobleman, + on whose property the movement first commenced, ascribed this + extraordinary conversion altogether to themselves. + </p> + <p> + The season to be sure in which it occurred was one of unprecedented + destitution and famine. Fuel was both scarce and bad—the preceding + crops had failed, and food was not only of a deleterious quality, but + scarcely to be procured at all. The winter, too, was wet and stormy, and + the deluges of rain daily and incessant. In fact, cold, and nakedness, and + hunger met together in almost every house and every cabin, with the + exception of those of the farmers alone, who, by the way, mostly held land + upon a very small scale. In this district, then, and in such a period of + calamity, and misery, and utter famine, did the movement called the New + Reformation originate. + </p> + <p> + “Sure, blood alive,” thought Darby, “now that every one's turnin', there's + no harm to have a thrial at it myself; I can become as good a Prodestan as + most o' them in four and twenty hours, and stand a chance of the + Jaolership for my pains. I'll go to Mr. Lucre, who is a gentleman at any + rate, and allow him to think he has the convartin' o' me. Well,” he + proceeded, with a chuckle, “it's one comfort, divil a much religion I have + to lose; and another, that the divil a much I have to gain in exchange; + and now,” he went on, “there's little Solomon thinks I did'nt see him + burnin' the wrong letther; but faith, Solomon, my lad, there must be + something in it that would do neither you nor M'Clutchy much good, if it + was known, or you wouldn't thry that trick—but, in the mean time, + I've secured them both.” + </p> + <p> + Now, the reader must know, that Darby's return in such a truly charitable + spirit to ask Solomon for the virtue of his prayers in behalf of + M'Clutchy, was as knavish a ruse as ever was put in practice. Solomon had + placed M'Clutchy's letter secretly under a brief, as we have said, and + Darby, who knew the identical spot and position in which M'Slime was in + the habit of praying, knew also that he would kneel with his back to the + desk on which the brief lay. It all happened precisely as he wished, and, + accordingly, while Solomon was doing the hypocrite, Darby did the thief, + and having let in those who were approaching, he came away, as we said. + </p> + <p> + He lost not a moment after he had got to a lonely part of the road, in + putting them between two flat stones—we mean M'Clutchy's letter to + Solomon, with that gentleman's answer. There, he determined, they should + remain until after dark, when he could secure both without risk, and see + what might be done with them. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” thought he, “that I've Solomon in a double pickle—for he + can't inquire about the letter without letting it be seen that he tould a + lie, and practised a bit of knavery, any how—an' as regwdin' the + other thing, I have him fast.” + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, Father M'Cabe, who had read M'Slime's paragraph in the + Castle Cumber “True Blue,” respecting Darby's conversion, had a sharp eye + out for him, as they term it in the country. Indeed, after two or three + vain attempts to see him, the Rev. gentleman was satisfied with sending + him a gentle message of congratulation upon his change of creed, which was + significantly wound up by a slight hint, that he might, probably, on their + next meeting, give him a nice treat, but of what particular description + was not communicated. Darby having secured the letters as described, was + proceeding at a pretty quick pace towards Mr. Lucre's, when, whom should + he meet in a narrow part of the way, which was enclosed between two + immense white thorn hedges, through which any notion of escape was + impracticable—but the Rev. Father M'Cabe. He tried every shift—looked + back as if he expected some friend to follow him—then to the right—again + to the left—then stooped to examine the ground, as if he had lost + something of value or importance. At length, finding every other trick + useless, he adopted that one so common among boys in desperate cases—we + mean the attempt to make a mask of the right shoulder in order to conceal + the face. Even this failed, and he found himself compelled to meet the + fixed and stern gaze of the colossal priest, who was on horseback, and + bore in his huge right hand a whip, that might, so gripped, have tamed a + buffalo, or the centaur himself, if he were not fabulous. + </p> + <p> + “Why—my good, honest and most religious friend, Mr. Darby O'Drive—the + odor of whose sanctity, you scoundrel, has already perfumed the whole + Parish—is it possible that Providence in kindness to me, and in pure + justice to yourself, has thrown you into my way at last.” This for the + present was accompanied only by a peculiar quivering motion of the whip, + resulting from the quick vibrations which his sense of Darby's hypocrisy + had communicated through the hand to the weapon which it held. + </p> + <p> + “God save your Reverence!” replied Darby, “an' in troth I'm glad to see + you look so well—faith it's in a glow o' health you are, may God + continue it to you! Be my sowl, it's you that can pepper the Orangemen, + any how, your Reverence—and how is Father Roche, sir—although + sure enough he's no match for you in givin' it home to the thieves.” + </p> + <p> + “Silence, you hypocritical sleeveen, don't think you'll crawl up my wrist—as + you do up M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's. Is it true that you have become an + apostate?” + </p> + <p> + Darby here attempted to work up a kind of sly significant wheedling + expression into his eye, as he stole a half timid, half confidant glance + at the priest—but it would not do—the effort was a failure, + and no wonder—for there before him sat the terrible catechist like + an embodied thunder cloud—red, lurid, and ready to explode before + him—nay he could see the very lightning playing and scintillating in + his eyes, just as it often does about the cloud before the bursting of the + peal. In this instance there was neither sympathy nor community of feeling + between them, and Darby found that no meditated exposition of pious fraud, + such as “quartering on the enemy,” or “doing the thieves,” or any other + interested ruse, had the slightest chance of being tolerated by the + uncompromising curate. The consequence was, that the rising roguery died + away from Darby's face, on which there remained nothing but a blank and + baffled expression, that gave strong assurance of his being in a situation + of great perplexity. The most timid and cowardly animals will, however, + sometimes turn upon their captors, and Darby although he felt no + disposition to bandy words with the curate, resolved, notwithstanding, to + abide by the new creed, until he should be able to ascertain his chance of + the gaolership. There was, besides, another motive. He knew Mr. Lucre's + character so well, that he determined to pursue such a course, during his + interview, as might ensure him a sound horse-whipping; for it occurred to + him that a bit of martyrdom would make a capital opening argument during + his first interview with Mr. Lucre. + </p> + <p> + “Did you hear me, sir?” again inquired the curate, making his whip whistle + past his own right foot, just as if he had aimed it at the stirrup—“is + it true that you have turned apostate?” + </p> + <p> + “I thought you knew it, sir,” said Darby, “or if you didn't, why did you + read me out the Sunday before last from the althar?” + </p> + <p> + “Then you acknowledge it,” cried the priest, “you have the brass to + acknowledge it, have you?” And here the whip made a most ferocious sweep + in the air. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” replied Darby, thinking by the admission to increase the impending + castigation—“yes, sir; I don't belong to your flock now—you + have no authority whatsomever over me—mind that.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/plate216.jpg" + alt="Page 216-- Oh, What a Sweet Convert You Are " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + “Haven't I indeed, Mr. Convert—oh, what a sweet convert you are—but + we'll see whether I have or not, by and by. Where are you bound for now? + To taste of Mr. Lucre's flesh pots? eh?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm bound for Mr. Lucre's, sure enough; and I hope there's no great harm + in that.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, none in the world, my worthy neophyte, none. Mr. Lucre's argument and + Lord ——'s bacon are very powerful during this hard season. + Those that haven't a stitch to their backs are clothed—those that + haven't a morsel to eat are fed—and if they haven't a fire, they get + plenty of fuel to burn their apostate skins at; and because this heretical + crew avail themselves of the destitution of these wretches—and lure + them from their own faith by a blanket and a flitch of bacon, they call + that conversion—the new Reformation by the way, ha—ha—ha—oh, + it's too good!” + </p> + <p> + “And do you think, sir,” said Darby, “that if they had a hard or an + enlightened hoult of their own creed, that that would do it?” + </p> + <p> + The whip here described a circle, one part of whose circumference sang + within a few inches of Darby's ear—who, forgetting his relish for + martyrdom, drew back his head to avoid it. + </p> + <p> + “None of your back jaw,” said M'Cabe; “don't you know, sirra, that in + spite of this Methodist Lord and the proud parson's temptations, you are + commanded to renounce the devil, the world, and the flesh? Don't you know + that?” + </p> + <p> + “But,” replied Darby, “are we commanded to renounce the devil, the world, + and a bit o' fresh mait?” + </p> + <p> + “Ha—you snivelling scoundrel,” said the curate, “you've got their + arguments already I see—but I know how to take them out of you, + before you leave my hands.” + </p> + <p> + “Surely,” continued Darby, “you wouldn't have a naked man renounce a warm + pair o' breeches, or a good coat to his back—does the Scriptur + forbid him that?” + </p> + <p> + “You will have it,” replied the curate, who felt for the moment astounded + at Darby's, audacity, “you are determined on it; but I will have patience + with you yet, a little, till I see what brought you over, if I can. Don't + you admit, as I said, that you are commanded to renounce the devil, the + world, and the flesh—particularly the flesh, sirra, for there's a + peculiar stress laid upon that in the Greek.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but does it go in the Greek against a flitch o' bacon and a wisp o' + greens, your reverence? Faith, beggin' your pardon, if you were to see + some o' the new convarts, how comfortable they are wid their good frieze + coats, and their new warm blankets, sittin' beside their good fires, you'd + maybe not blame them so much as you do. Your religion, sir, only provides + for the sowl; but theirs, you see, provides any how for the body—and + faith, I say, the last is a great advantage in these hard times.” + </p> + <p> + The priest's astonishment increased at the boldness with which Darby + continued the argument, or rather, which prompted him to argue at all. He + looked at him, and gave a smile. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he, almost forgetting his anger—for he was by no means + deficient in a perception of the humorous—“but no matter—it + will do by and by. You villain,” said he, forced into the comic spirit of + the argument; “do you not know that it said—cursed is he who + becometh an apostate, and eateth the flesh of heretics.” + </p> + <p> + “Aitin' the flesh of heretics is forbidden, I dare say, sure enough,” + replied Darby; “an' troth it's a commandment not likely to be broken—for + dirty morsels they are, God knows; but is there anything said against + aitin' the flesh of their sheep or cows—or that forbids us to have a + touch at a good fat goose, or a turkey, or any harmless little trifle o' + the kind? Troth myself never thought, sir, that beef or mutton was of any + particular religion before.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir; beef and mutton, when they're good, are Catholic—but when + they're lean, why, like a bad Christian, they're Protestant, of course, + and that's well known,” said the priest, still amused, against his will, + by Darby's arguments. + </p> + <p> + “Faith, and wid great respect, the same is but a poor argument for your + own—hem—I mane, sir, for your church; for if the best beef and + mutton be of the thrue religion, the Protestants have it all to nothing. + There, they're infallible, and no mistake. The fat o' the land, your + reverence,” said Darby, with a wink; “don't you understand? They've got + that any how.” + </p> + <p> + A slight cut of the whip across the shoulders made him jump and rub + himself, whilst the priest, struck with his utter want of principle, + exclaimed. + </p> + <p> + “You double-dealing scoundrel, how dare you wink at me, as if we felt + anything in common?” + </p> + <p> + The blow occasioned Darby's gorge to rise; for like every other knave, + when conscious of his own dishonesty, and its detection, he felt his bad + passions overpower him. + </p> + <p> + “You must,” said the priest, whose anger was now excited by his + extraordinary assurance—“you must renounce their religion, you must + renounce M'Slime and Lucre—their flitches, flannels, and friezes. + You must—” + </p> + <p> + “Beggin' your pardon,” said Darby, “I never received any of their flitches + or their flannels. I don't stand in need of them—it's an enlightened + independent convart I am.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then,” continued the priest, “you must burn their tracts and their + treatises, their books and Bibles of every description, and return to your + own church.” + </p> + <p> + “To become acquainted,” replied Darby, “with that piece o' doctrine in + your hand there? Faith and I feel the truth o' that as it is, your + reverence; and it is yourself that can bring it home to one. But, why, wid + submission, don't you imitate Father Roche? By me sowl, I tell you to your + face, that so long; as you take your divinity from the saddler's shop, so + long you will have obedient men, but indifferent Catholics.” + </p> + <p> + “What!” replied M'Cabe, in a rage, “do you dare to use such language to my + face—a reprobate—a brazen contumacious apostate! I've had this + in for you; and now (here he gave him a round half dozen) go off to + M'Slime, and Lucre, and Lord———, and when you see them, + tell them from me, that if they don't give up perverting my flock, I'll + give them enough of their own game.” + </p> + <p> + Darby's face got pale, with a most deadly expression of rage—an + expression, indeed, so very different from that cringing, creeping one + which it usually wore, that M'Cabe, on looking at him, felt startled, if + not awed, intrepid and exasperated as he was. Darby stood and looked at + him coldly, but, at the same time, with unflinching fearlessness in the + face. + </p> + <p> + “You have done it,” he said, “and I knew you would. Now, listen to me—are + you not as aiger to make convarts as either M'Slime or Lucre?” + </p> + <p> + “You will have it again, you scoundrel,” said the curate, approaching him + with uplifted whip. + </p> + <p> + “Stand back,” said Darby, “I've jist got all I wanted—stand back, or + by all the vestments ever you wore, if your whip only touches my body, as + light as if it wouldn't bend a feather, I'll have you in heaven, or + purgatory, before you can cry 'God forgive me.'” + </p> + <p> + The other still advanced, and was about to let the whip fall, when Darby + stretched his right hand before him, holding a cocked and loaded pistol + presented to the curate's breast. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said he, “let your whip fall if you like; but if you do, I'll lodge + this bullet,” touching the pistol with his left forefinger, “in your + heart, and your last mass is said. You blame Lucre and M'Slime for making + convarts; but ai'en't you every bit as anxious to bring over the + Protestants as they are to bring over us? Aren't you paradin' them Sunday + af'ther Sunday, and boastin' that you are takin' more from the heretics + than they are takin' from you? Wasn't your last convart Bob Beatty, that + you brought over because he had the fallin' sickness, and you left it upon + him never to enter a church door, or taste bacon; and now you have him + that was a rank Orangeman and a blood-hound six weeks ago, a sound + Catholic to-day? Why, your reverence, with regard to convart makin' divil + the laist taste o' differ I see between you on either side, only that they + are able to give betther value in this world for the change than you are—that's + all. You're surprised at seeing my pistols, but of late I don't go any + where unprovided; for, to tell you the thruth, either as a bailiff or a + convart, it's not likely I'd be safe widout them; and I think that + yourself are a very good proof of it.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, my good, fine, pious convart; I'll keep my eye on you. I + understand your piety.” + </p> + <p> + “And I can tell you, my good, meek, pious priest, I'll keep mine on you; + and now pass on, if you're wise—and so <i>bannath lath</i>.” + </p> + <p> + Each then passed on, pursuing his respective destination. They had not + gone far, however, when both chanced to look back at the same moment—M'Cabe + shook his whip, with a frown, at Darby, who, on the other side, + significantly touched the pocket in which he carried his fire-arms, and + nodded his head in return. + </p> + <p> + Now, it is an undeniable fact, that characters similar to that of Darby, + were too common in the country; and, indeed, it is to be regretted that + they were employed at all, inasmuch as the insolence of their conduct, on + the one hand, did nearly as much harm as the neglect of the hard-hearted + landlord himself, on the other. Be this as it may, however, we are bound + to say that Darby deserved much more at M'Cabe's hands than either that + Rev. gentleman was aware of then, or our readers now. The truth was, that + no sooner had M'Slime's paragraph touching Darby's conversion gone abroad, + than he became highly unpopular among the Catholics of the parish. Father + M'Cabe, in consequence of Darby's conduct, and taking him as a specimen, + uttered some lively prophecies, touching' the ultimate fate of the new + Reformation. He even admonished his flock against Darby:— + </p> + <p> + “I have warned you all now,” he said, “and if after this I hear of a + single perversion, woe be unto that pervert, for it is better for his + miserable soul that he had never been born. Is there a man here base + enough to sell his birthright for a mess of Mr. Lucre's pottage? Is there + a man here, who is not too strongly imbued with a hatred of heresy, to + laugh to scorn their bribes and their Bibles. Not a man, or, if there is, + let him go out from amongst us, in order that we may know him—that + we may avoid his outgoings and his incomings—that we may flee from + him as a pestilence—a plague—a famine. No, there is none here + so base and unprincipled as all that—and I here prophesy that from + this day forth, this Reformation has got its death-blow—and that + time will prove it. Now, remember, I warn you against their arts, their + bribes, and their temptations—and if, as I said, any one of this + flock shall prove so wicked as to join them—then, I say again, + better for his unfortunate soul that he had never come into existence, + than to come in contact with this leprous and polluted heresy.” + </p> + <p> + Darby having heard—for he never went to mass—that he was + denounced by the priest, and feeling that his carrying into execution the + heartless and oppressive proceedings of M'Clutchy had, taken together, + certainly made him as unpopular a man as any individual of his + contemptible standing in life could be, resolved, in the first place, to + carry arms for his own protection, and, in the next, to take a step which + he knew would vex the curate sorely. Accordingly, he lost no time in + circulating, and having it circulated by others, that the great + Reformation Society would give, in a private way, five guineas a head to + every convert, taking them either by the individual or the family, + although the conversion of the latter, he said, was far more coveted than + even a greater number of individuals, when they were not bound by the same + ties of blood, inasmuch, as the bringing them over by families was an + outpouring of grace which could not be withstood. The consequence was, + that all the profligate and unprincipled who had cold, and nakedness, and + famine, in addition to their own utter want of all moral feeling to + stimulate them, looked upon the new Reformation and its liberal promises + as a complete windfall blown into their way by some unexpected piece of + good fortune. Five guineas a head! And all for only going to church, and + gaining for ever more the heart and affections of the good and kind Lord + ———. There was also another class, the simple and honest + poor, who had no other way of avoiding all the rigors and privations of + that terrible season, than a painful compliance with the only principle + which could rescue themselves and their children, from a state of things + worse than death itself—and which might probably have terminated in + death—we mean the principle of the new Reformation. There was, + still, a third class—which consisted of a set of thorough Irish + wags, who looked upon the whole thing as an excellent joke—and who, + while they had not a rag to their backs, nor a morsel for their mouths, + enjoyed the whole ceremony of reading their recantation, renouncing + Popery, and all that, as a capital spree while it lasted, and a thing that + ought by all means to be encouraged, until better times came. + </p> + <p> + In vain, therefore, did Father M'Cabe denounce and prophesy—in vain + did he launch all the dogmas of the church—in vain did he warn, + lecture, and threaten—Darby's private hint had gone abroad precisely + a day or two before their encounter, and the consequence was what might be + expected. Darby, in fact, overreached him, a circumstance of which, at the + period of their meeting, he was ignorant; but he had just learned how “the + word,” as it was called, had spread, in so extraordinary a manner, maugre + all his opposition a short time before they met; and our readers need not + feel surprised at the tone and temper with which, after having heard such + intelligence, he addressed Darby, nor at the treatment which that worthy + personage received at his hands. Had he known that it was Darby's “word” + which in point of fact had occasioned “the spread” we speak of, he would + have made that worthy missionary exhibit a much greater degree of alacrity + than he did. + </p> + <p> + Before Darby arrives at Mr. Lucre's, however, we must take the liberty of + anticipating him a little, in order to be present at a conversation which + occurred on this very subject between the worthy Rector and the Rev. Mr. + Clement, his curate. Mr. Clement, like the pious and excellent Father + Roche, was one of those clergymen who feel that these unbecoming and + useless exhibitions, called religious discussions, instead of promoting a + liberal or enlarged view of religion, are only calculated to envenom the + feelings, to extinguish charity, and to contract the heart. Nay, more, + there never was a discussion, they said—and we join them—since + the days of Ussher and the Jesuit, that did not terminate in a tumult of + angry and unchristian recrimination, in which all the common courtesies of + life, not to mention the professed duties of Christian men, were trampled + on, and violated without scruple. In the preparations for the forthcoming + discussion, therefore, neither of these worthy men took any part + whatsoever. The severe duties of so large a parish, the calls of the sick, + the poor, and the dying, together with the varied phases of human misery + that pressed upon their notice as they toiled through the obscure and + neglected paths of life, all in their opinion, and, in ours, too, + constituted a sufficiently ample code of duty, without embroiling + themselves in these loud and turbulent encounters. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Clement, who, on this same day, had received a message from Mr. Lucre, + found that gentleman in remarkably good spirits. He had just received a + present of a fine haunch of venison from a fox-hunting nobleman in the + neighborhood, and was gloating over it, ere its descent into the larder, + with the ruddy fire of epicurism blazing in his eyes. “Clement,” said he, + with a grave, subdued grunt of enjoyment, “come this way—turn up the + venison, Francis—eh, what say you now, Clement? Look at the depth of + the fat!—what a prime fellow that was!—see the flank he had!—six + inches on the ribs at, least! As our countryman, Goldsmith, says, 'the + lean was so white, and the fat was so ruddy.'” + </p> + <p> + Clement had often before witnessed this hot spirit of luxury, which + becomes doubly carnal and gross in a minister of God. On this occasion he + did not even smile, but replied gravely, “I am not a judge of venison, Mr. + Lucre; but, I believe you have misquoted the poet, who, I think, says, + 'the fat was so white, and the lean was so ruddy.'” + </p> + <p> + “Well, that's not much, Clement; but, if you were a judge, this would both + delight and astonish you. Now, Francis, I charge you, as you value your + place, your reputation, your future welfare, to be cautious in dressing + it. You know how I wish it done, and, besides, Lord Mountmorgage, Sir + Harry Beevor, Lord ———, and a few clerical friends, are + to dine with me. Come in Clement—Francis, you have heard what I + said! If that haunch is spoiled, I shall discharge you without a character + most positively, so look to it.” + </p> + <p> + When they entered the library, the table of which was covered with + religious magazines, missionary papers, and reports of religious + societies, both at home and abroad, Mr. Lucre, after throwing himself into + a rich cushioned arm-chair, motioned to his curate to take a seat. + </p> + <p> + “I have sent for you, Clement,” said he, “to have your advice and + assistance on a subject, in which, I feel confident, that as a sincere and + zealous Protestant, you will take a warm interest. You have heard of the + establishment of our New Reformation Society, of course.” + </p> + <p> + “I believe it is pretty generally known,” replied Clement. + </p> + <p> + “It is now,” replied Lucre; “but our objects are admirable. We propose to + carry controversy into all the strongholds of Popery—to enlighten + both priest and people, and, if possible, to transfer the whole Popish + population—<i>per satiram</i>—by the lump, as it were—” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Per saturum</i>, I believe,” observed Clement, bowing, “if I may take + the liberty.” + </p> + <p> + “Sati, satu—well, you may be right; my memory, Clement, retains + large passages best, and ever did—to transfer the whole Popish + population to the Established Church. It is a noble, a glorious + speculation, if it only can be accomplished. Think of the advantages it + would confer upon us! What stability would it not give the Church.” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot exactly see what peculiar stability it would give the Church,” + replied Clement, “with the exception of mere numbers alone.” + </p> + <p> + “How so—what do you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir,” replied Clement, “if we had the numbers you speak of + to-morrow, we would be certainly worse off than we are today. They could + only pay us our tithes, and that they do as it is; if they formed a + portion, and the largest portion they would form, of our church, think of + the immense number of clergy they would require to look to their religious + wants—the number of churches and chapels of ease that must be built—the + number of livings that must be divided—nay, my dear sir, in addition + to this, you may easily see, that for every one bishop now, we should have + at least four, then, and that the incomes would diminish in proportion. As + it is now, sir, we have the tithes without the trouble of laboring for + them, but it would be a different case in your new position of affairs.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre, who, in the heat of his zeal, had neither permitted himself to + see matters in this light, nor to perceive that Clement's arguments + concealed, under a grave aspect, something of irony and satire, looked + upon his curate with dismay—the smooth and rosy cheek got pale, as + did the whole purple face down to the third chin, each of which reminded + one of the diminished rainbows in the sky, if we may be allowed to except + that they were not so heavenly. + </p> + <p> + “Clement,” said he, “you amaze me—that is a most exceedingly clear + view of the matter. Transfer them! no such thing, it would be a most + dreadful calamity, unless church property were proportionately increased; + but, could not that be done, Clement? Yes,” said he, exulting at the idea, + as one of which he ought to feel proud, “that could and would be done—besides + I relish the multiplication of the bishoprics, under any circumstances, + and therefore we will proceed with the Reformation. At all events, it + would be a great blessing to get rid of Popery, which we would do, if we + could accomplish this glorious project.” + </p> + <p> + “I must confess, sir,” replied Mr. Clement gravely, “that I have never + been anxious for a mere change of speculative opinions in any man, unless + when accompanied by a corresponding improvement in his life and morals. + With respect to the Reformation Society, I beg leave to observe that I + think the plan for the present is unseasonable, and only calculated to + fill the kingdom with religious dissention and hatred. The people, sir, + are not prepared to have their religion taken by storm; they are too + shrewd for that; and I really think we have no just cause to feel anxious + for the conversion of those who cannot appreciate the principles upon + which they embrace our faith, as must be the case with ninety-nine out of + every hundred of them. I have ever been of opinion that the policy pursued + by England towards this country has been the bane of its happiness. She + deprived the Irish Roman Catholics of the means of acquiring education, + and then punished them for the crimes which proceeded from their + ignorance. They were a dissatisfied, a tumultuous, and an impracticable, + because they were an oppressed, people; and where, by the way, is there a + people, worthy to be named such, who will or ought to rest contented under + penal and oppressive laws. But there was a day when they would have been + grateful for the relaxation of such laws. Oppression, however, has its + traditions, and so has revenge, and these can descend from father to son, + without education. If Roman Catholic disabilities had been removed at a + proper time, they would long since have been forgotten, but they were not, + and now they are remembered, and will be remembered. The prejudices of the + Roman Catholics, however, and their enmity towards those who oppressed + them, increased with their numbers and their knowledge. The religion of + those who kept them down was Protestant; and think you, sir, that, be the + merits of that religion what they may, these are the people to come over + in large masses, without esteem for us, reflection, or any knowledge of + its principles, and embrace the creed of the very men whom they look upon + as their oppressors. Sir, there is but one way of converting the Irish, + and it this:—Let them find the best arguments for Protestantism in + the lives of its ministers, and of all who profess it. Let the higher + Protestant clergy move more among the humbler classes even of their own + flocks—let them be found more frequently where the Roman Catholic + priest always is—at the sick-bed—in the house of mourning, of + death, and of sin—let them abandon the unbecoming pursuits of an + ungodly ambition—cast from them the crooked and dishonest manoeuvres + of political negotiation and intrigue—let them live more humbly, and + more in accordance with the gospel which they preach—let them not + set their hearts upon the church merely because it is a wealthy + corporation, calculated rather to gratify their own worldly ambition or + cupidity, than the spiritual exigencies of their own flocks—let them + not draw their revenues from the pockets of a poor people who disclaim + their faith, whilst they denounce and revile that faith as a thing not to + be tolerated. Let them do this, sir—free Protestantism from the + golden shackles which make it the slave of Mammon, that it may be able to + work—do this, and depend upon it, that it will then flourish as it + ought; but, in my humble opinion, until such a reform first takes place + with ourselves, it is idle to expect that Roman Catholics will come over + to us, unless, indeed, a few from sordid and dishonest motives—and + these we were better without. I think, therefore, that the present + Reformation Society is unseasonable and ill-advised, nor do I hesitate to + predict that the event will prove it so. In conclusion, sir, I am sorry to + say, that I've seldom seen one of those very zealous clergymen who would + not rather convert one individual from Popery than ten from sin.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Clement, you are a liberal!” + </p> + <p> + “I trust, sir, I am a Christian. As for liberalism, as it is generally + understood, no man scorns the cant of it more than I do. But I cannot + think that a Roman Catholic man sincerely worshipping God—even with, + many obvious errors in his forms, or, with what we consider absurdities in + his very creed—I cannot think, I say, that such a man, worshipping + the Almighty according to his knowledge, will be damned. To think so is + precisely the doctrine of exclusive salvation, with which we charge Popery + itself.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre's face, during the enunciation of these sentiments, glowed like + a furnace thrice heated—he turned up his eyes—groaned aloud—struck + the arm of his chair with his open hand—then commenced fanning his + breast, as if the act were necessary to cool that evangelical indignation, + in which there is said to be no sin. + </p> + <p> + “Clement,” said he, “this—this”—here he kept fanning down his + choler for half a minute—“this is—astonishing—awful—monstrous—monstrous + doctrine to come from the lips of a clergyman—man”—another + fanning—“of the Established Church; but what is still worse, from—from—the + lips of my curate! my curate! I'll trouble you to touch the bell—thank + you, sir. But, Mr. Clement, the circumstance of giving utterance to such + opinions, so abruptly, as if you were merely stating some common-place + fact—without evincing the slightest consideration for me—without + reflecting upon who and what I am—without remembering my position—my + influence—the purity and orthodoxy of my doctrine—the services + I have rendered to religion, and to a Protestant government—(John, a + glass of water; quickly)—you forget, sir, that I have proved the + Romish Church to be both damnable and idolatrous—that she is without + the means of salvation—that her light is out—her candlestick + removed—and that she is nothing now but darkness, and abomination, + and blasphemy. Yes, sir; knowing all this, you could openly express such + doctrines, without giving me a moment's notice, or anything to, prepare me + for such a shock!—sir, I am very much distressed indeed; but I thank + my God that this excitement—(bring it here, John; quick:)—that + this excitement is Christian excitement—Christian excitement, Mr. + Clement; for I am not, I trust, without thai zeal for the interests of my + church, of my King, and of Protestantism at large, which becomes a man who + has labored for them as I have done.” + </p> + <p> + Here, notwithstanding the excessive thirst which seemed to have fastened + on him, he put the glass to his lips; but, sooth to say, like the widow's + cruse, it seemed to have been gifted with the miraculous property of going + from his lips as full as when it came to them. + </p> + <p> + “I assure you, Mr. Lucre,” replied Clement, “in uttering my sentiments, I + most certainly had not the slightest intention of giving you offence. I + spoke calmly, and candidly, and truly, what I think and feel—and I + regret that I should have offended you so much; for I only expressed the + common charity of our religion, which hopeth all things—is slow to + condemn, and forbids us to judge, lest we be judged.” + </p> + <p> + “Clement,” said Mr. Lucre, who, to speak truth, had ascribed his + excitement—what a base, servile, dishonest, hypocritical scoundrel + of a word is that excitement—ready to adopt any meaning, to conceal + any failing, to disguise any fact, to run any lying message whatsoever at + the beck and service of falsehood or hypocrisy. If a man is drunk, in + steps excitement—Lord, sir, he was only excited, a little excited;—if + a man is in a rage, like Mr. Lucre, he is only excited, moved by Christian + excitement—out upon it!—but, like every other slavish + instrument, we must use it—had ascribed his excitement, we say, to + causes that had nothing whatsoever to do in occasioning it—the <i>bona + fide</i> one being the indirect rebuke, to him, and the class to which he + belonged, that was contained in Clement's observations upon the + Established Church and her ecclesiastics. “Clement,” said he, “I must be + plain with you. For some time past I have really suspected the soundness + of your views—I had doubts of your orthodoxy; but out of + consideration for your large family, I did not press you for an + explanation.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, sir,” replied Clement, “allow me to say, that as an orthodox + clergyman, jealous of the purity of our creed, and anxious for the + spiritual welfare of your flock, it was your duty to have done so. As for + me, I shall be at all times both ready and willing to render an account of + the faith that is in me. I neither fear nor deprecate investigation, sir, + I assure you.” + </p> + <p> + “I certainly knew not, however, that you were so far gone in + latitudinarianism, as I find, unfortunately, to be the case. I hold a + responsible—a sacred situation, as a Protestant minister, Mr. + Clement, and consequently cannot suffer such doctrine to spread through my + flock. Besides, had you taken an active part in promoting this + Reformation, as, with your learning and talents I know you could have done—I + make no allusion now to your unhappy principles—had you done so it + was my fixed intention to have increased your salary ten pounds per annum, + out of my own pocket, notwithstanding the great claims that are upon me.” + </p> + <p> + “My legal salary, I believe, Mr. Lucre, is seventy-five pounds per annum, + and the value of your benefice is one thousand four hundred. I may say the + whole duty is performed by me. Out of that one thousand four hundred, I + receive sixty; but I shall add nothing more—for indeed I have yet + several visits to make before I go home. As to my orthodoxy, sir, you will + take your own course. To my bishop I am ready to explain my opinions; they + are in accordance with the Word of God; and if for entertaining them I am + deprived of the slender support for which I labor, as your curate, my + trust in God will not be the less.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre declined any reply, but bowed very politely, and rang the bell, + to order his carriage, as a hint to Mr. Clement that the conversation was + closed. The latter bowed, bade him good morning, and departed. + </p> + <p> + When Mr. Clement said he had some visits to make, we must, lest the reader + might suppose they are visits of ceremony, follow his steps in order to + learn the nature of these visits. + </p> + <p> + About half a mile from the Glebe house of Castle Cumber, the meek and + unassuming curate entered into an abode of misery and sorrow, which would + require a far more touching pen than ours to describe. A poor widow sat + upon the edge of a little truckle bed with the head of one of her children + on her lap; another lay in the same bed silent and feeble, and looking + evidently ill. Mr. Clement remembered to have seen the boy whom she + supported, not long before playing about the cottage, his rosy cheeks + heightened into a glow of health and beauty by the exercise, and his fair, + thick-clustered hair blown about by the breeze. The child was dying, and + the tender power of a mother's love prompted her to keep him as near her + breaking heart as she could, during the short space that remained of his + brief existence. When Mr. Clement entered, the lonely mother looked upon + him with an aspect of such bitter sorrow, of such helpless supplication in + her misery, as if she said, am I left to the affliction of my own heart! + Am I cut off from the piety and comfort, which distress like mine ought to + derive from Christian sympathy and fellowship! Have I not even a human + face to look upon, but those of my dying children! Such in similar + circumstances are the questions which the heart will ask. She could not + immediately speak, but with the head of her dying boy upon her heart she + sat in mute and unbroken agony, every pang of her departing orphan + throwing a deeper shade of affliction over her countenance, and a keener + barb of sorrow into her heart. + </p> + <p> + The champion of God, however, was at his post. He advanced to the + bed-side, and in tones which proclaimed the fulness of his sympathy in her + sufferings, and with a countenance lit up by that trust in heaven which + long trials of his own and similar bereavements had given him, he + addressed her in words of comfort and consolation, and raised her heart to + better hopes than any which this world of care and trial can bestow. It is + difficult, however, to give comfort in such moments, nor is it prudent to + enforce it too strongly. The widow looked upon her boy's face, which was + sweetly marked with the graces of innocence, even in the throes of death. + The light of life was nearly withdrawn from his dim blue eye; but he felt + from time to time for the mother's, hands, and the mother's bosom. He was + striving, too, to utter his little complaint; attempting probably to + describe his sufferings, and to beg relief from his unhappy parent; but + the dissolving power of death was on all his faculties; his words lapsed + into each, other indistinctly, and were consequently unintelligible. Mrs. + Vincent, for such was the widow's name, heard the words addressed to her + by Mr. Clement; she raised her eyes, to heaven for a moment, and then + turned them, heavy with misery, upon her dying boy. Her heart—her + hopes:—almost her whole being were peculiarly centered in the object + before her; and though she had imagined that sympathy might support her, + she now felt that no human power could give her consolation. The tears + were falling fast from Mr. Clement's cheeks, who felt, that until the + agonies of the boy were over, it would be vain to offer her any kind of + support. At length she exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “Oh! Saviour, who suffered the agony of the cross, and who loved little + children like him, let your mercy descend upon my beloved! Suffer him to + come to you soon. Oh! Saviour—hear a mother's prayer, for I loved + him above all, and he was our life! Core of my heart, you are striving to + tell your mother what you suffer, but the weight of death is upon your + tongue, and you cannot do it! I am here, my beloved sufferer—I am + here—you struggle to find my hands to tell me—to tell me—but + I cannot help you.” + </p> + <p> + “Mrs. Vincent,” said the curate, “we have reason to believe that what + appears to us to be the agony of death, is not felt so severely as we + imagine; strive to moderate your grief—and reflect that he will soon + be in peace, and joy, and happiness, that will never end. His little + sorrows and sufferings will soon be over, and the bosom of a merciful God + will receive him into life and glory.” + </p> + <p> + “But, sir,” replied the widow, the tears fast streaming down her cheeks, + “do you not see what he suffers? Look at the moisture that is on his + little brow, and see how he writhes with the pain. He thinks that I can + stop it, and it is for that he presses my hand. During his whole illness + that was still his cry—'oh, mother, take away this pain, why don't + you take away the pain!'” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Clement was a father, and an affectionate one, and this allusion to + the innocence of the little sufferer touched his heart, and he was silent. + </p> + <p> + The widow proceeded: “there he lies, my only—only son—his + departed father's image, and I looked up to him to be one day my support, + my pride, and my happiness—but see what he is now! Oh! James, James, + wouldn't I lay down my life to save yours!” + </p> + <p> + “You look at the dark side of the picture, Mrs. Vincent,” said the curate. + “Think upon what he may escape by his early and his happy death. You know + not, but that there was crime, and sin, and affliction before him. + Consider how many parents there are now in the world, who would feel happy + that their children, who bring shame, and distress, and misery upon them, + had been taken to God in their childhood. And, surely, there is still a + God to provide for your self and your other little ones; for remember, you + have still those who have tender claims upon your heart.” + </p> + <p> + “I know you are right, sir,” she replied “but in cases like this, nature + must have its way. Death, death, but you're cruel! Oh—blessed + Father, what is this!” + </p> + <p> + One last convulsive spasm, one low agonizing groan, accompanied by a + relaxation of the little fingers which had pressed her hands, closed the + sufferings of the widow's pride. She stooped wildly over him and pressed + him to her heart, as if by doing so she could draw his pains into her own + frame, as they Were already in her spirit; but his murmurings were silent, + and on looking closely into his countenance, she perceived that his + Redeemer had, indeed, suffered her little one to go unto him; that all his + little pains and agonies were over forever. + </p> + <p> + “His sufferings are past,” she exclaimed, “James, your sufferings are + over!” As she uttered the words, the curate was astonished by hearing her + burst out into one or two wild hysteric laughs, which happily ended in + tears. + </p> + <p> + “No more,” she continued, “you'll feel no more pain now, my precious boy; + your voice will never sound in my ears again; you'll never call on me to + say 'mother, take away my pain;' the Sunday mornin' will never come when I + will take pride in dressing you. My morning and evening kiss will never + more be given—all my heart was fixed on is gone, and I care not now + what becomes of me.” + </p> + <p> + What could the good curate do? He strove to soothe, sustain, and comfort + her, but in vain; the poor widow heard him not. + </p> + <p> + “Jenny,” said she, at length, turning to, the other sick child, “your + brother is at rest! James is at rest; he will disturb your sleep now no + more—nor will you disturb his.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! but he couldn't help it, mammy; it was the pain that made him.” + </p> + <p> + As the child uttered these words, the widow put her hand to her heart, + gave two or three rapid sobs—her bosom heaved, and her head fell + back over a chair that was accidentally beside her. Mr. Clement caught her + in time to prevent her from falling; he placed her upright on the chair, + which he carried to, the little dresser, where he found a jug of water, + the only drink she had to give her sick children. With this he bathed her + temples and wet her lips, after which he looked upon the scene of death + and affliction by which he was surrounded. + </p> + <p> + “Gracious Father,” he exclaimed, “let, your mercy reach this most pitiable + family! Look with eyes of pity and compassion upon this afflicted and + bereaved woman! Oh, support her—she is poor and nearly heart-broken, + and the world has abandoned her! Oh, do not abandon her, Father of all + mercy, and God of all consolation!” + </p> + <p> + As he concluded, the widow recovered, and felt his tears falling upon her + face. On looking she perceived how deeply he was affected. Her lips opened + unconsciously with a blessing on him who shared in, and soothed her + sorrows—her voice was feeble, for she had not yet recovered her + strength; but the low murmur of her prayers and blessings rose like the + sounds of sweet but melancholy music to heaven, and was heard there. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Clement then went over to the bed, and with his own hands smoothed it + down for the little sick sister of the departed boy, adjusting the + bed-clothes about her as well as he could, for the other children were + too., young to do anything. He then divided the hair upon the lifeless + child's forehead—contemplated his beautiful features for a moment—caught + his little hand in his—let it fall—oh! how lifelessly! he then + shook his head, raised his eyes, and pointing to heaven, exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “There—Mrs. Vincent, let your hopes lie there.” + </p> + <p> + He then departed, with a promise of seeing her soon. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII.—Interview between Darby and Mr. Lucre + </h2> + <p> + —Darby feels Scriptural, and was as Scripturally treated—Mr. + Lucre's Christian Disposition towards Father M'Cabe—A few Brands + offer Themselves to be Plucked from the Burning—Their Qualification, + for Conversion, as stated by Themselves. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre, like almost every Protestant rector of the day, was a + magistrate, a circumstance which prevented Mr. Clement from feeling any + surprise at seeing a considerable number of persons, of both sexes, + approaching the glebe. He imagined, naturally enough, that they were going + upon law business, as it is termed—for he knew that Mr. Lucre, + during his angel visits to Castle Cumber, took much more delight in + administering the law than the gospel, unless, when ready made, in the + shape of Bibles. When Darby, also, arrived, he found a considerable number + of these persons standing among a little clump of trees in the lawn, + apparently waiting for some person to break the ice, and go in first—a + feat which each felt anxious to decline himself, whilst he pressed it very + strongly upon his neighbor. No sooner had Darby made his appearance than a + communication took place between him and them, in which it was settled + that he was to have the first interview, and afterwards direct the conduct + and motions of the rest. There was, indeed, a dry, knowing look about him, + which seemed to imply, in fact, that they were not there without some + suggestion from himself. + </p> + <p> + Darby was very well known to Mr. Lucre, for whom he had frequently acted + in the capacity of a bailiff; he accordingly entered with something like + an appearance of business, but so admirably balanced was his conduct on + this occasion, between his usual sneaking and servile manner, and his + privileges as a Christian, that it would be difficult to witness anything + so inimitably well managed as his deportment. One circumstance was + certainly strongly in his favor; Father M'Cabe had taken care to imprint + with his whip a <i>prima facie</i> testimony of sincerity upon his + countenance, which was black, and swollen into large welts by the + exposition of doctrinal truth which he had received at that gentleman's + hands. Lucre, on seeing him, very naturally imagined he was coming to + lodge informations for some outrage committed on him either in the + discharge of his duty as bailiff, or, for having become a convert, a fact + with which he had become acquainted from the True Blue. + </p> + <p> + “Well, O'Drive,” said he, “what is the matter now? you are sadly abused—how + came this to pass?” + </p> + <p> + Darby first looked upwards, very like a man who was conscientiously + soliciting some especial grace or gift from above; his lips moved as if in + prayer, but he was otherwise motionless—at length he ceased—drew + a lone breath, and assumed the serenity of one whose prayer had been + granted. The only word he uttered that could possibly be at all + understood, was amen; which he pronounced lowly, but still distinctly, and + in as unpopish a manner as he could. + </p> + <p> + “I beg your pardon, sir,” he replied, “but now my heart's aisier—I + hope I have overcome that feeling that was an me—I can now forgive + him for the sake of the spread o' the gospel, and I do.” + </p> + <p> + “What has happened your face?—you are sadly abused!” + </p> + <p> + “A small taste o' parsecution, sir, which the Lord put into Father + M'Cabe's horsewhip—heart I mane—to give me, bekaise I + renounced his hathenism, and came into the light o' thruth—may He be + praised for it!” Here followed an upturning of the eyes after the manner + of M'Slime. + </p> + <p> + “Do you mean to tell me, O'Drive, that this outrage has been committed on + you by that savage priest, M'Cabe?” + </p> + <p> + “It was he left me as you see, sir—but it's good to suffer in this + world, especially for the thruth. Indeed I am proud of this face,” he + continued, blinking with a visage so comically disastrous at Mr. Lucre, + that had that gentleman had the slightest possible perception of the + ludicrous in his composition, not all the gifts and graces that ever were + poured down upon the whole staff of the Reformation Society together, + would have prevented him from laughing outright. “Of course you are come,” + pursued Lucre, “to swear information against this man?” + </p> + <p> + “I have prayed for it,” said Darby in a soliloquy, “and I feel that it has + been granted. Swear information, sir?—I'll strive and do betther + than that, I hope; I must now take my stand by the Bible, sir; that will + be the color I'll hoist while I live. In that blessed book I read these + words this mornin', 'love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good + to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and + parsecute you.' Sir, when I read these words, I felt them slidin' into my + heart, and I couldn't help repeatin' them to myself, ever since—and, + even when Father M'Cabe was playin' his whip about my ears, I was as hard + at work prayin' for his sowl.” + </p> + <p> + This, we have no doubt, was perfectly true, only we fear that our blessed + convert forgot to state the precise nature and object of the prayer in + question, and to mention whether it was to the upper or lower settlement + he consigned the soul alluded to. This Christian spirit of Darby's, + however, was by no means in keeping with that of Mr. Lucre, who never was + of opinion, in his most charitable of moods, that the gospel should + altogether supersede the law. On this occasion, especially, he felt an + acuteness of anxiety to got the priest within his power, which the spirit + of no gospel that ever was written could repress. M'Cabe and he had never + met, or, at least, never spoke; but the priest had, since the commencement + of the new movement, sent him a number of the most ludicrous messages, and + transmitted to him, for selection, a large assortment of the most comical + and degrading epithets. Here, then, was an opportunity of gratifying his + resentment in a Christian and constitutional spirit, and with no obstacle + in his way but Darby's inveterate piety. This, however, for the sake of + truth, he hoped to remove, or so modify, that it would not prevent him + from punishing that very disloyal and idolatrous delinquent. + </p> + <p> + “Those feelings, O'Drive, are all very good and creditable to you, and I + am delighted indeed that you entertain them—but, in the meantime, + you owe a duty to society greater than that which you owe to yourself. + This man, this priest—a huge, ferocious person I understand he is—has + latterly been going about the parish foaming and raging, and seeking whom + he can horsewhip.” + </p> + <p> + “That's thruth, sir, poor dark hathen—an', sir—jist beggin' + your pardon for one minute, half a minute, sir—you know we're + desired when an inimy strikes us upon one cheek to turn the other to him; + well, as I said, sir, I found myself very Scriptural this whole day, so + when he hit me the first welt on this cheek, I turns round the other, an' + now look at the state it's in, sir—but that's not all, sir, he tuck + the hint at once, and gave it to me on both sides, till he left me as you + see me. Still, sir, I can forgive him, and I have done it.” + </p> + <p> + “That, as I said, reflects great credit on your principles—but, in + the meantime, you can still retain these principles and prosecute him. + Your lodging informations against him does not interfere with your own + personal forgiveness of him at all—because it is in behalf of, and + for the safety of society that you come forward to prosecute now.” + </p> + <p> + Darby, who in point of fact had his course already taken, shook his head + and replied, falling back upon the form of M'Slime's language as much as + he could— + </p> + <p> + “I feel, sir,” he replied, “that I'm not permitted.” + </p> + <p> + “Permitted!” repeated the other. “What do you menu?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm not permitted from above, sir, to prosecute this man. I'm not + justified in it.” + </p> + <p> + “Quite ridiculous, O'Drive, where did you pick up this jargon of the + conventicle—but that reminds me, by the by—you are not a + convert to the Established Church. You belong to the Dissenters, and owe + your change of opinions to Mr. M'Slime.” + </p> + <p> + “If I don't belong to the Established Church now, sir,” replied Darby, “I + won't be long so.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” inquired the other, “are you not satisfied with the denomination of + Christians you have joined?” + </p> + <p> + “M'Slime, sir, converted me—as you say—but I've great + objections—and between you and me, I, fear it's not altogether safe + for any man to take his religion from an attorney.” + </p> + <p> + A smile, as much as he could condescend to, passed over the haughty, but + dignified features of Mr. Lucre. + </p> + <p> + “O'Drive,” said he, “I did not think you possessed so much simplicity of + character as I perceive you do—but touching the prosecution of this + man—you must lodge information, forthwith. You shall bring the + warrant to Mr. M'Clutchy who will back it, and put it into the hands of + those who will lose little time in having it executed.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, sir, that my conscience doesn't justify me in doin' what you + wish.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean by conscience, sir?” asked the other, getting warm, “if + you have a conscience you will have no scruple in punishing a man who is + an open enemy to truth, to the gospel, and to the spread of it through a + benighted land. How can you reconcile it to your conscience to let such a + man escape.” + </p> + <p> + “Simply by forgiving him, sir—by lettin' the great, big, ignorant + hathen, have the full benefit of a gospel forgiveness. That's what I mean, + sir, and surely it stands to sense that I couldn't prosecute him wid these + feelin's, barrin' I'd go against the Word.” + </p> + <p> + “O'Drive,” said Lucre, evidently mortified at Darby's obstinacy, “one of + two things is true; either you are utterly ignorant, perhaps, with every + disposition to know them, of the sanctions and obligations of religion, or + you are still a Papist at heart, and an impostor. I tell you, sir, once + more, that it is upon religious grounds that you ought to prosecute this + wild priest; because in doing so, you render a most important service to + religion and morality, both of which are outraged in his person. You ought + to know this. Again, sir, if you are a Protestant, and have thoroughly + cast Popery from your heart, you must necessarily be a loyal man and a + good subject; but if you refuse to prosecute him, you can be neither the + one nor the other, but a Papist and an impostor, and I've done with you. + If Mr. M'Clutchy knew, sir, that you refused to prosecute a priest for + such a violent outrage upon your person, I imagine you would not long hold + the situation of bailiff under him.” + </p> + <p> + Darby looked into the floor like a philosopher solving a problem. “I see, + sir,” said he, “I see—well—you have made that clear enough + sartinly; but you know, sir, how could you expect such deep raisoning upon + these subjects from a man like me. I see the duty of it now clearly; but, + when, sir, on the other hand if I prosecute him, what's to become of me? + Will you, sir, bear my funeral expenses?” + </p> + <p> + “Every penny, O'Drive,” replied the other, eagerly. “Tut,” he exclaimed, + checking himself, “I—I—I thought you meant the expenses of the + prosecution.” + </p> + <p> + “It's much the same, sir,” replied Darby, “the one will be sure to follow + the other. You know the state the country's in now, sir, and how the + people on both sides are ready to skiver one another about this religion, + and rents and tithes, and dear knows what besides. As it is, sir,” he + proceeded, “you see that I dursn't walk the road without these,” and he + produced the pistols as he spoke, “but what chance, sir, would I have if I + prosecuted a priest? Why, my life wouldn't be worth two hours' purchase.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre himself could not help feeling and admitting the truth of this, + but as he could devise no plan to obviate the dangers alluded to, he still + scrupled not to urge the prosecution. + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” said Darby starting, as if a gleam of light had shot across his + brain, “a thought has just struck me, and I hope it was something from + above that sent it. If there was any kind of situation, sir, that I could + fill, and that would keep me in a place of safety where the hathens + couldn't get at me, everything would be right; and be the same token, sir, + now that I think of it, isn't the under gaoler-ship of Castle Cumber + vacant this minute.” + </p> + <p> + Lucre who, in fact, had set his heart on prosecuting and punishing the + priest, would have gladly made Darby governor of the best gaol in his + majesty's dominions, rather than lose this opportunity of effecting his + purpose. + </p> + <p> + “Rest contented, O'Drive,” he replied, “you shall have it—I pledge + myself that you shall have it. My influence is sufficient for much more + than so paltry a trifle as that. And now for the informations.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, sir,” replied the other, “that wouldn't mend the matter a bit. Let it + go once abroad that I swore them, and I'd never see to-morrow night. No, + sir, if you wish him properly prosecuted,—and I think I ought to + know how to do it, too;—but if you wish him properly punished, place + me first out of harm's way—out o' the reach o' the hathens; put me + into the situation before we take a single step in the business, then I'll + be safe and can work in it to some purpose.” + </p> + <p> + “It shall be done,” said Lucre, “and I will go about it presently, but in + the mean time the matter rests as it is. If what you say is true, and I + believe it is, your own safety depends upon your silence.” + </p> + <p> + “Not a breath,” replied Darby; “and now, sir, about what brought me here—I + wanted to say that I'd wish '<i>to read</i>' upon Sunday next.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean?” asked Lucre. + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, as I said, I don't like to take my religion from an attorney—and + I'm afeard, besides, that he's not altogether orthybox, in regard that he + hinted once that God was ———; but, indeed I disremember + his words, for it wasn't aisy to hould them when you got them.” + </p> + <p> + “He, of course, is a Fatalist and Predestinarian,” said Lucre; “but what + is this you were about to say?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, that I'd wish publicly to read my recompensation in your church + on Sunday next.” + </p> + <p> + “And why in my church?” asked the proud parson, who felt his vanity + touched, not by anything Darby had yet said, but by the indescribable + expression of flattery which appeared in his face. + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir,” he replied, “bekase it's given out on all hands that there's + no end to your larnin'—that it's wondherful the books you wrote—and + as for your preachin', that it 'ud make one think themselves in heaven, + hell, or purgatory, accordin as you wished.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, O'Drive, very well indeed,” exclaimed Lucre, caught on his + weakest side by this artful compliment; “but you must forget purgatory—however + I can conceive that it was the mere force of habit that prompted you to + utter it. Well, then, you shall read your recantation on Sunday, since you + wish it—there will be about a dozen or two others, and you had + better attend early. Good-day, O'Drive!” + </p> + <p> + “Plaise your honor,” said Darby, who never could be honest to both + parties, “there's a batch o' convarts outside waitin' to see you, but + between you and me, I think you had as well be on your guard wid some o' + them, I know what they want.” + </p> + <p> + “And pray, what is that, O'Drive?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, for fraid I may be doin' the crathurs injustice, sir, I won't + say; only jist take my hint, any how. Good mornin' kindly, sir!” + </p> + <p> + As Darby passed the group we have alluded to, he winked at them very + knowingly, “go up,” said he, “go up I say:—may be I didn't give yez + a lift since, and mark me, huld to the five guineas a head, and to be + provided for aftherwards. Paddy Cummins do you go up, I say—bannath + lath!” + </p> + <p> + Paddy went up, and in a few minutes a ragged, famine-wasted creature + entered with his old caubeen between his hands, and after having ducked + down his head, and shrugged his shoulders alternately, stood with an + abashed look before Mr. Lucre. + </p> + <p> + “Well, my good man, what is your business with me?” + </p> + <p> + To this the countryman prepared to reply,—first, by two or three + additional shrugs; secondly, by raising his right elbow, and pulling up + all that remained of the collar of his tattered cothamore, or great coat, + after which he gave a hem. + </p> + <p> + “Have you no tongue, my good fellow?” + </p> + <p> + A shrug—“hem—why, sir, but that was a great sarmon you + praiched on last Sunda', plaise you honor. Faitha, sir, there was mighty + fine discoorsin' in it about rail-ligion?” + </p> + <p> + “O! the sermon—did you hear it, my good man?” + </p> + <p> + “Faitha, sir, I was there sure enough, in spite o' Father M'Cabe, an' + all.” + </p> + <p> + “Sit down, my good friend, sit down—well, you attended the sermon, + you say—pray how did you like it?” + </p> + <p> + “Faitha, sir, sure nobody could dislike it bedad, sir, we're all greatly + disappointed wid the priests afther hearin' it—it was wondherful to + hear, the deep larnin' you brought forrid, sir, against them, an' our + church in gineral. Begad myself was mightily improved by it.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't swear, though—well you were improved by it, you say—pray + what is your name?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm one Paddy Cummins, sir, a shister's son of—” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Cummins, I'm very happy to hear that you were edified, and happier + still that you had sense to perceive the side upon which truth lay.” + </p> + <p> + “Faitha, thin, your reverence, I seen that widout much throuble; but, sure + they say, sir, there's to be a power of us turnin' over to yez.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope so, Cummins—we are anxious that you should see the errors of + the creed you so ignorantly profess, and abandon them.” + </p> + <p> + “Sure enough, sir—dad, sir, your ministhers is fine men, so you are—then + you're so rich, sir, plaise your honor—they do be sayin', sir, that + the reverend gintlemen of your church have got a great deal of money among + them somehow, in regard that it 'ud be needful to help poor crathurs that + 'ud turn, and keep them from the parsecution, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Cummins, my good friend, allow me to set you right. We never give a penny + of money to any one for the sake of bringing him over to our church; if + converts come to us it must be from conviction, not from interest.” + </p> + <p> + “I see, sir—but sure I'm not wantin' the promise at all, your honor—sure + I know you must keep yourselves clear anyway—only the five guineas a + head that I'm tould is to be given.” + </p> + <p> + “Five guineas a head!—pray who told you so?” + </p> + <p> + “Faitha, sir, I couldn't exactly say, but every one says it. It's said + we're to get five guineas a head, sir, and be provided for afther; I have + nine o' them, sir, eight crathurs and Biddy herself—she can't spake + English, but, wid the help o' God, I could consthre it for her. Faith, + she'd make a choice Prodestan, sir, for wanst she takes a thing into her + head the devil wouldn't get it out. As for me, I don't want a promise at + all, your reverence, barrin' that if it 'ud be plaisin' to you, jist to + lay your forefinger along your nose—merely to show that we + undherstand one another—it 'ud be as good to me as the bank. The + crathur on the breast, your reverence, we'd throw in as a luck penny, or + dhuragh, and little Paddy we give at half price.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you hear all this?” + </p> + <p> + “Faitha, then, we did, sir—and sure, as you don't like to have the + thing known, I can keep my tongue atween my teeth as well as e'er a + convart livin'—an' as for Biddy, by only keepin' her from the + dhrink, she's as close as the gate of heaven to a heretic. Bedad, sir, + this new light bates everything.” + </p> + <p> + “My good friend, Cummins, I tell you I have no money to give,—neither + is there anything to be given,—for the sake of conversion—but, + if your notions of your own religion are unsettled, put yourself under + Lord ———'s chaplain; and, if, in the due course of time, + he thinks you sufficiently improved to embrace our faith, you and your + family may be aided by some comforts suitable to your condition.” + </p> + <p> + Cummins' face lengthened visibly at 'an intimation which threw him so far + from his expectations; the truth being, that he calculated upon receiving + the money the moment he read his recantation. He looked at Mr. Lucre again + as significantly as he could—gave his head a scratch of remonstrance—shrugged + himself as before—rubbed his elbow—turned round his hat + slowly, examined its shape, and gave it a smarter set, after which he gave + a dry hem and prepared to speak. + </p> + <p> + “I'll hear nothing further on the subject,” said the other, “withdraw.” + </p> + <p> + Without more ado Cummins slunk out of the room, highly disappointed, but + still not without hopes from Lord ———, to whom, or his + chaplain, he resolved to apply. In the meantime he made the best of his + way home to his starving wife and children, without having communicated + the result of his visit to those who were assembled at the glebe house. + </p> + <p> + He had scarcely left the hall door when another claimant for admission + presented himself in the person of a huge, tattered fellow, with red, + stiff hair standing up like reeds through the broken crown of his hat, + which he took off on entering. This candidate for Protestantism had + neither shoe nor stocking on him, but stalked in, leaving the prints of + his colossal feet upon the hall through which he passed. + </p> + <p> + “Well, friend, what is wrong with you?—why did'nt you rub your + filthy feet, sir, before you entered the room? You have soiled all my + carpet.” + </p> + <p> + “I beg your honor's parding,” said the huge fellow; “I'll soon cure that.” + Having said which he trotted up to the hearth-rug, in which, before Lucre + had time even to speak, by a wipe from each foot, he left two immense + streaks of mud, which we guess took some hard scrubbing to remove. “Now, + your honor, I hope I'll do.” + </p> + <p> + Lucre saw it was useless to remonstrate with him, and said, with more + temper than could be expected— + </p> + <p> + “Man, what's your business?” + </p> + <p> + “I come, sirra,”—this man had a habit of pronouncing sir as sirra, + which he could never overcome—“to tell your reverence to enther me + down at wanst.” + </p> + <p> + “For what purpose should I enter you down?” + </p> + <p> + “For the money, sirra; I have seven o' them, and we'll all go. You may + christen us if you wish, sirra. 'Deed I'm tould we must all be christened + over agin, an' in that case, maybe it 'ud be plaisin' to you to stand + godfather for me, yourself, your reverence.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean?—but I suppose I understand you.” + </p> + <p> + “I mean, sirra, to become a Protestan—I an' my family, I'm Nickey + Feasthalagh, that was in on suspicion o' the burnin' of Nugent's hay; and + by them five crasses I was as innocent of that as the child onborn, so I + was. Sure they couldn't prove an me, becoorse I came out wid flying + colors, glory be to God! Here I am now, sir, an' a right good Prodestan + I'll make when I come to understand it. An' let me whisper this, sirra, + I'll be dam useful in fairs and markets to help the Orangemen to lick + ourselves, your honor, in a skrimmage or party fight, or anything o' that + kidney.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, Nick Fistula, as you say your name is—” + </p> + <p> + “Mickey, sirra.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Nickey, or Nick, or whatever it may be, I am sorry to say that you + won't do. You are too great an ornament to your own creed ever to shine in + ours. I happen to know your character—begone.” + </p> + <p> + “Is Misthre Lucre widin?” asked a third candidate, whose wife accompanied + him—“if he is, maybe you'd tell him that one Barney Grattan wishes + to have a thrifle o' speech wid his honor.” + </p> + <p> + “Come in,” said the servant with a smile, after having acquainted his + master. + </p> + <p> + The man and his wife accordingly entered, having first wiped their feet as + they had been ordered. + </p> + <p> + “Well, my good man, what's your business.” + </p> + <p> + “Rosha, will you let his honor know what we wor spakin' about? She'll tell + you, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Plaise your honor,” said she, “we're convarts.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Mr. Lucre, “that is at least coming to the point. And pray, + my good woman, who converted you?” + </p> + <p> + “Faix, the accounts that's abroad, sir, about the gintleman from Dublin, + that's so full of larnin', your reverance, and so rich, they say.” + </p> + <p> + “Then it was the mere accounts that wrought this change in you?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Dhamnu orth a Rosha, go dhe shin dher thu?</i>” said the husband in + Irish; for he felt that the wife was more explicit than was necessary. + “Never heed her, sir; the crathur, your reverence, is so through other, + that she doesn't know what she's sayin', especially spakin' to so + honorable a gentleman as your reverence.” + </p> + <p> + “Then let us hear your version, or rather your conversion.” + </p> + <p> + “Myself, sir, does be thinkin' a great deal about these docthrines and + jinnyologies that people is now all runnin' upon. I can tell a story, sir, + at a wake, or an my kailee wid a, neighbor, as well as e'er a man in the + five parishes. The people say I'm very long headed all out, and can see + far into a thing. They do, indeed, plaise your reverence.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you ever hear about one Fin M'Cool who was a great buffer in his day, + and how his wife put the trick upon a big bosthoon of a giant that came + down from Munster to bother Fin? Did you ever hear that, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “No; neither do I wish to hear it just now.” + </p> + <p> + “Nor the song of Beal Derg O'Donnel, sir, nor the 'Fairy River,' nor 'the + Life and Adventures of Larry Dorneen's Ass,' plaise your reverence.” + </p> + <p> + “No—but I wish you would allow your wife to relate your business + here.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir, the people say I'm very longheaded, and can see far into a + thing—” + </p> + <p> + “But, my good man, I care not what the people say—tell your story + briefly.” + </p> + <p> + “—An' can see far into a thing, your reverence, becaise I'm + long-headed. All longheaded people, sir, is cute, an' do you know why + they're cute, sir? No, you don't, but I'll tell you—bekaise they're + long-headed. Now, sir, what 'ud you think to turn Roman Catholic awhile + till I'd malivogue you in arguin' Scripture?—I want to prove to you, + sir, that I'm the boy that understands things.” + </p> + <p> + “What's your business with me?” + </p> + <p> + “Will you thry it, sir, and you'll see how I'll sober you to your heart's + delight.” + </p> + <p> + “What brought your husband to me, my good woman?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Bhe dha husth; fag a rogarah lumsa</i>.” + </p> + <p> + “He's comin' to it, plaise your reverence,” said the wife. + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir, so you see, bein' given to deep ways of thinkin' o' my own, I + had many bouts at arguin' Scripthur—as every longheaded man has, of + coorse—an' yestherday meetin' wid Brian Broghan, the mealman—him + that keeps it up on the poor, sir—he challenged me, but, in three + skips of a Scotch Gray, I sacked him cleaner than one of his own meal + bags, and dusted him afterwards:—'so,' says he, misther Grattan, see + what it is to be long-headed.” + </p> + <p> + “It's worse,” observed Lucre, “to be long-winded. Come to an end, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “'Long-headed,' says he, 'an', of coorse you'll be takin' the money,' says + Brougham; 'what money?' says I. 'Why, the five guineas,' says he, 'that + the Biblemen is givin' to every one that will turn wid them, he happens to + be long-headed—but otherwise, not a penny.' So, sir, myself, you + see, havin' the intention to come over long afore for fraid yez might + think it was for the money I am doin' it. But is there such a thing, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Not a penny, and so you may tell your friends.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but, sir, grantin' that, still you'll acknowledge that I'm + long-headed.” + </p> + <p> + “No, only long-winded.” + </p> + <p> + “Not long-headed, then?” + </p> + <p> + “No, certainly not.” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Damnu orth a veehone bradagh!</i> come Rosha. Not long-headed! troth + it's a poor religion to depind on—an' I'll make a show of it yet, if + I'm spared. Come, woman alive.” + </p> + <p> + Honest Barney was the last but one who was honored by a hearing, though + not the last by a score of those who expected it, and, sooth to say, the + appearance of that one threw the whole proceedings into such exquisite + ridicule, that we cannot resist the temptation of giving his claims and + arguments a place among the rest. The convert in question was no other + than our old friend <i>Raymond-na-hattha</i>, or Raymond of the hats; who, + moved by the example of others, and only possessed of a dim notion of the + cause that brought them together, came among them from that vague motive + of action which prompts almost every creature like him to make one in a + crowd, wherever it may assemble. The mind of poor Raymond was of a very + anomalous character indeed; for his memory, which was wonderful, + accumulated in one heterogeneous mass, all the incidents in which he had + ever taken any part, and these were called out of the confusion, precisely + as some chord of association happened to be struck in any conversation + which he held. For this reason he sometimes uttered sentiments that would + have come with more propriety from the lips of a philosopher than a fool, + and again fell to the level of pure idiotism, so singular were his + alternations from sense to nonsense. Lucre's porter, himself a wag, knew + perfectly well what was going forward, and, indeed, took very considerable + delight in the movement. When Raymond presented himself, the porter, to + whom he was very well known, determined, for the joke's sake, that he + should have the honor of an interview as well as the rest. Lucre, as we + said, being but seldom at Castle Cumber, was ignorant of Raymond's person + and character, and, indeed, we may add, that he stood in a position + precisely similar with respect to almost every one of his own flock. When + Raymond entered, then, he was addressed in much the same terms as the + others. + </p> + <p> + “Well, friend, what is your business?— + </p> + <p> + “John, admit no more, and let the carriage come round—are you a + convert also?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I am; what have you to give me?” + </p> + <p> + “A pure and peaceful religion, my friend.” + </p> + <p> + “Where is it?” + </p> + <p> + “In this book—this is the Word of God, that preacheth peace and + salvation to all.” + </p> + <p> + “Has Val M'Clutchy this book?” + </p> + <p> + “Of course he has—it is not to be supposed that so able and staunch + a friend of Protestantism, of the religion of the state, could be without + this book, or ignorant of it.” + </p> + <p> + Raymond put it tip to his nose, and after seeming to smell it, said, with + a strong shudder, “how did you do this among you? How did you do it?—look + at it—see, see, it's dripping wid blood—here's murder on this + page, there's starvation on that—there's the blood-hounds huntin'—look, + sir, look at the poor creature almost worn down, makin' his way to hide, + but he can't; they have him, they have him—see how they drag him, as + if he was, a—ay, drag, drag, he's yours now, he's yours—whip + and scourge, whip and scourge—more blood, more blood—and this + is it, this—don't you see it, sir, comin' down in drops when I hould + it up that way!” + </p> + <p> + “My good friend, you are certainly in liquor—your language is that + of a man strongly affected by drink.” + </p> + <p> + “And this is it,” Raymond proceeded; “look at this page, that's not the + one the blood is on; no, no, there's nothing here but madness. Ah!” said + he, lowering his voice to a tone of deep compassion, “sure she's mad; they + killed Hugh O'Began, and they killed the two sons, and then she went mad.—So, + you see, there it is now—on that page there's blood, and, on this + one,—with the big letter on it, there's madness. Then agin comes the + Turnin' out. How would you like to walk three long, dreary miles, in + sleet, and frost, and snow, havin' no house to go to—wid thin + breeches to your bottom, an' maybe a hole in them—widout shoe or + stockin' on your hooves—wid a couple of shiverin', half starved, + sick childre, tied by an ould praskeen to your back, an' you sinkin' wid + hunger all the time?—ay, and the tail o' your old coat blown up + behind every minute, like a sparrow before the wind!—Eh, how would + you like it?” + </p> + <p> + Lucre still stuck to the hypothesis of liquor, and accordingly went and + rang the porter's bell, who immediately appeared. + </p> + <p> + “John,” said his master, “I desire you will immediately show this man out—he + is so scandalously affected with liquor, that he knows not the purport of + his own language.” + </p> + <p> + John approached his master with a face of awful tenor:—“for God's + sake, sir,” said he, “don't say a word that might cross him, sure he's the + great madman, <i>Raymond-na-hattha</i>. Just sit still, and let him take + his own way, and he'll do no harm in life; appear to listen to him, and + he'll be like a child—but, if you go to harshness, he'd tear you, + and me, and all that's in the house, into minced meat.” + </p> + <p> + Once more did Lucre's countenance lose its accustomed hue; but, on this + occasion, it assumed the color of a duck egg, or something between a bad + white and a bad blue; “my good friend,” said he, “will you please to take + a seat—John, stay in the room.” This he said in a whisper. + </p> + <p> + “There,” proceeded Raymond, who had been busily engaged in examining the + pages of the Bible, “there is the page where that's on—the puttin' + out in the clouds and storm of heaven—there it is on that page. Look + at the ould man and the ould woman there—see them tremblin'. Don't + cry—don't cry; but they are—see the widow there wid her + orphans—there's a sick boy in that house, and a poor sick girl in + that other house—see, they're all cryin'—all cryin'—for + they must go out, and on sich a day! All that, now, is upon these two + other pages, bekaise, you see, no one page would hould all that. But see + here—here's a page wid only one side of it covered—let vis see + what's on it. Oh, ay—here's the poor craythur's childre, wid the + poor father and the poor mother; but they have the one cow to give milk to + moisten their bit. Ha—ha—look again, there she goes off to the + pound! Don't cry, poor helpless crathers; but how can you help cryin' when + your poor mother's cryin'. That's a bitther thing, too, and it's on this + page—see—that—that—that's it I've between my + fingers—look at it—'how wet it is wid the poor craythur's + tears; but there's no blood here—no, no—nothing but tears. Oh, + here—see here—a page as big as the rest, bat wid nothing on + it. Ay, I know that—that's an empty farm that nobody dare take, or + woe be to them. But here—I seen him “—here he shuddered + strongly—“I seen him! His father and mother were both standing + undher him—that was the worst of all. It's in this page. He was only + one-and-twenty, and the eyes he had; but how did it happen, that although + they hanged him, every one loved him? I seen his father and the poor + mother looking up to the gallows where he stood, and then she fainted, and + she then got sick, and poor ould Brian has nobody now but himself; and all + that's on this page.” Here poor Raymond shed tears, so completely was he + overpowered by the force of his own imaginings. He again proceeded—“And + the poor white-headed son. What wouldn't the poor mother give to have his + white head to look at? but he will never waken—he will never waken + more. What's the name o' this book?” he inquired of Mr. Lucre. + </p> + <p> + “My excellent and most intelligent friend,” replied that gentleman, in + atone of meekness and humility that would have shamed an apostle; “my most + interesting friend, the name of that book in the Bible.” + </p> + <p> + “The Bible! oh yes; but am I doin' it right?” he inquired; “am I puttin' + the explanation to it as I ought? Sure they all oxplain it, and it's only + fair that Raymond should show his larnin' as well as any of them. Let us + see, then—murdher and bloodshed, hangin' and starvin', huntin', + purshuin, whippin', cowld and nakedness, hunger and sickness, death and + then madness, and then death agin, and then damnation! Did I explain it?” + </p> + <p> + “Perfectly, my friend—nothing can do better.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, think of it; but these aren't my explanations—but I + know who puts them to that bad book! Don't they take all I said out of it? + They do; and, sure, don't you see the poor people's blood, and tears, and + everything upon it; sure all I said is in it. Here,” he exclaimed, + shuddering, “take it away, or may be it'll make me as wicked as the rest + of you. But, after all, maybe it's not the fault of the book, but of the + people.” It would indeed be difficult to find a more frightful comment + upon the crimes and atrocities which have been perpetrated in this divided + country, in the name, and under the character of religion, than that which + issued, with a kind of methodical incoherency, from the lips of <i>Raymond-na-hattha</i>. + When he had concluded, Mr. Lucre, having first wiped the big drops of + perspiration from his forehead, politely asked him if there was anything + he could do for him. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, ay,” said he; “but first bring me a lump of good mate, and a quart of + portlier.” + </p> + <p> + “You shall have it, my excellent friend. John, ring the bell. You are a + very interesting person, Mr.—Mr.— + </p> + <p> + “<i>Raymond-na-hattha</i>, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Raiment—very interesting, indeed. (Good God! am I to run the + risk of being-strangled in my own house by a madman!) Oh—here, + Alick; bring up some cold meat and a bottle of porter. Anything to make + you comfortable, my good sir.” + </p> + <p> + “I only want to see if all's right, sir,” said Raymond, “and I'll tell you + by and by.” This was followed by a look of most pitiable distress from + Lucre to his servant, John. + </p> + <p> + Raymond no sooner saw the cold beef and bread laid down, together with a + bottle of porter, than he commenced an exhibition, which first, awoke Mr. + Lucre's astonishment, next his admiration, and lastly his envy. Raymond's + performance, however, was of that rare description which loses by too + frequent practice, and is only seen to advantage when the opportunities + for exhibition are few. Three mortal pounds having at length disappeared, + together with the greater part of a quartern loaf, and two bottles of + porter, for Raymond had made bold to call for a second, he now wiped his + mouth with the cuff of his coat first, and afterwards, by way of a more + delicate touch, with the gathered palm of his hand; then, looking at Mr. + Lucre, who sat perspiring with terror in his gorgeous easy chair, our + readers may judge of the ease it just then communicated to that reverend + gentleman, when he said, “It's all right enough, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm delighted to hear it,” replied Mr. Lucre, applying the <i>sudariolum</i> + once more with a very nervous and quivering hand to his forehead: + </p> + <p> + “Is there anything else in which I can serve you, my good sir?” + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0004" id="linkimage-0004"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/plate231.jpg" + alt="Page 231-- Borrow the Loan of Your Religion " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + “Yes, there is—all's right, I've now made the thrial, and it will do—I + want to borrow the loan of your religion till the new praties comes in.” + </p> + <p> + “You shall have it, my worthy sir—you shall have it, with very great + pleasure.” + </p> + <p> + “The raison why I came to you for it,” said Raymond, who, evidently in + this joke, had been put up by some one, “was bekaise I was tould that it's + as good as new with you—'seldom used lasts long,' you know—but, + such as it is, I'll borry it for—ah, there now, that's one; all + right, all right,” pointing to the fragments of the meat and bread—“I + wouldn't ax betther; so, till the praties comes in, mind I'll take care of + it; and, if I don't bring it back safe, I'll bring you a betther one in + it's place.” He then nodded familiarly to Mr. Lucre, and left the house. + The latter felt as if he breathed new life once more, but he could not so + readily pardon the man for admitting him. + </p> + <p> + “What is the reason, sir,” he asked, his face reddening, “that you + suffered that formidable madman to get into the house?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir,” replied the porter, “when I opened the door, he shot in like a + bolt; and, as for preventing him after that, if I had attempted it, he'd + have had me in fragments long ago. When he's not opposed, sir, or crossed, + he's quiet as a lamb, and wouldn't hurt a child; but, if he's vexed, and + won't get his own way, why ten men wouldn't stand him.” + </p> + <p> + “Take care that he shall never be admitted here again,” said his master; + “I really am quite disturbed and nervous by his conduct and language, + which are perfectly unintelligible. Indeed I am absolutely unwell—the + shock was awful, and to occur on such a day, too—I fear my appetite + will be very much affected by it—a circumstance which would be + distressing beyond belief. Stop—perhaps it is not yet too late—ask + Francis is the venison down, and, if not, desire him not to dress it + to-day—I am out of appetite, say.” + </p> + <p> + John went, and in a couple of minutes returned, “Francis says it's down, + sir, for some time,” replied the man, “and that it must be dressed to-day, + otherwise it will be spoiled.” + </p> + <p> + “And this is owing to you, you scoundrel,” said his master in a rage, + “owing to your neglect and carlessness—but there is no placing + dependence upon one of you. See, you rascal, the position in which I am—here + is a delicious haunch of venison for dinner, and now I am so much agitated + and out of order that my appetite will be quite gone, and it will be eaten + by others before my face, while I cannot touch it. For a very trifle I + would this moment discharge you from my service, and without a character + too.” + </p> + <p> + “I am very sorry, sir, but the truth—” + </p> + <p> + “Begone, you scoundrel, and leave the room, or I shall use the horse-whip + to you.” + </p> + <p> + John disappeared, and this great and zealous prop of Protestantism walked + to and fro his study, almost gnashing his teeth from the apprehension of + not having an appetite for the haunch of venison. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII.—Darby's Brief Retirement from Public Life. + </h2> + <h3> + —A Controversial Discussion, together with the Virtues it Produced + </h3> + <p> + Our readers may recollect that Darby in his pleasant dialogue with Father + M'Cabe, alluded to a man named Bob Beatty, as a person afflicted with + epilepsy. It was then reported that the priest had miraculously cured him + of that complaint; but, whether he had or not, one thing, at least, was + certain, that he became a Roman Catholic, and went regularly to mass. He + had been, in fact, exceedingly notorious for his violence as an Orangeman, + and was what the people then termed a blood-hound, and the son of a man + who had earned an unenviable reputation as a Tory hunter; which means a + person who devoted the whole energies of his life, and brought all the + rancour of a religious hatred to the task of pursuing and capturing such + unfortunate Catholics as came within grasp of penal laws. Beatty, like all + converts, the moment he embraced the Roman Catholic creed, became a most + outrageous opponent to the principles of Protestantism. Every Orangeman + and Protestant must be damned, and it stood to reason they should, for + didn't they oppose the Pope? Bob, then, was an especial protege of Father + M'Cabe's, who, on his part, had very little to complain of his convert, + unless it might be the difficulty of overcoming a habit of strong swearing + which had brought itself so closely into his conversation, that he must + either remain altogether silent, or let fly the oaths. Another slight + weakness, which was rather annoying to the priest too, consisted in a + habit Bob had, when any way affected with liquor, of drinking in the very + fervor of his new-born zeal, that celebrated old toast, “to hell with the + Pope!” These, however, were but mere specks, and would be removed in time, + by inducing better habits. Now, it so happened, that on the day in + question, Bob was wending his way to Father M'Cabe's, to communicate some + matter connected with his religious feelings, and to ask his advice and + opinion. + </p> + <p> + “How confoundedly blind the world is,” thought Bob, “not to see that + Popery—” he never called it anything else—“is the true faith! + Curse me but Priest M'Cabe is a famous fellow!—Zounds, what an + Orangeman he would make!—he's just the cut for it, an' it's a + thousand pities he's not one—but!—what the hell am I sayin?' + They say he's cross and ill-tempered, but I deny it—isn't he + patient, except when in a passion? and never in a passion unless when + provoked; what the d—l more would they have? I know I let fly an + oath myself of an odd time (every third word, good reader), but, then, + sure the faith is never injured by the vessel that contains it. Begad, but + I'm sorry for my father, though, for, as there's no salvation out o' + Popery, the devil of it is, that he's lost beyond purchase.” + </p> + <p> + In such eccentric speculations did Bob amuse himself, until, in + consequence of the rapid pace at which he went, he overtook a + fellow-traveller, who turned out to be no other than our friend Darby + O'Drive. There was, in fact, considering the peculiar character of these + two converts, something irresistibly comic in this encounter. Bob knew + little or nothing of the Roman Catholic creed; and, as for Darby, we need + not say that he was thoroughly ignorant of Protestantism. Yet, nothing + could be more certain—if one could judge by the fierce controversial + cock of Bob's hat, and the sneering contemptuous expression of Darby's + face, that a hard battle, touching the safest way of salvation, was about + to be fought between them. + </p> + <p> + Bob, indeed, had of late been anxious to meet Darby, in order, as he said, + to make him “show the cloven foot, the rascal;” but Darby's ire against + the priest was now up; and besides, he reflected that a display of some + kind would recommend him to the Reformationists, especially, he hoped, to + Mr. Lucre, who, he was resolved, should hear it. The two converts looked + at each other with no charitable aspect. Darby was about to speak, but + Bob, who thought there was not a moment to be lost, gave him a + controversial facer before he had time to utter a word:—“How many + articles in your church?” + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0005" id="linkimage-0005"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/plate233.jpg" + alt="Page 233-- How Many Articles in Your Church? " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + “How many articles in my church! There's one bad one in your church more + than ought to be in it, since they got you:—but can you tell me how + many sins cry to heaven for vengeance on you, you poor lost hathen?” + </p> + <p> + “Don't hathen me, you had betther; but answer my question, you rascally + heretic.” + </p> + <p> + “Heretic inagh! oh, thin, is it from a barefaced idolather like you that + we hear heretic called to us! Faith, it's come to a purty time o' day wid + us!” + </p> + <p> + “You're a blessed convart not to know the Forty-nine articles of your fat + establishment!” + </p> + <p> + “And I'll hould a wager that you don't know this minute how many + saikerments in your idolathry. Oh, what a swaggerin' Catholic you are, you + poor hair-brained blackguard!” + </p> + <p> + “I believe you found some convincin' texts in the big purse of the Bible + blackguards—do you smell that, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “You have a full purse, they say, but, by the time Father M'Cabe takes the + price of your trangressions out of it—as he won't fail to do—take + my word for it, it'll be as lank as a stocking without a leg in it—do + you smell that, Bob ahagur?” + </p> + <p> + “Where was your church before the Reformation?” + </p> + <p> + “Where was your face before it was washed?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you know the four pillars that your Church rests upon? because if you + don't, I'LL tell you—it was Harry the aigth, Martin Luther, the Law, + and the Devil. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Ah, what a purty boy + you are, and what a deludin' face you've got.” + </p> + <p> + “So the priest's doin' you—he's the man can pluck a fat goose, Bob.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't talk of pluckin' geese—you have taken some feathers out o' + the Bible blades, to all accounts. How do you expect to be saved by + joining an open heresy?” + </p> + <p> + “Whisht, you hathen, that has taken to idolathry bekase Father M'Cabe made + an ass of you by a thrick that every one knows. But I tell you to your + brazen face, that you'll be worse yet than ever you were.” + </p> + <p> + “You disgraced your family by turnin' apostate, and we know what for. + Little Solomon, the greatest rogue unhanged, gave you the only grace you + got or ever will get.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you poor turncoat, isn't the whole country laughin' at you, and none + more than your own friends. The great fightin' Orangeman and blood-hound + turned voteen!—oh, are we alive afther that!” + </p> + <p> + “The blaggard bailiff and swindler turned swadler, hopin' to get a fatter + cut from the Bible blades, oh!” + </p> + <p> + “Have you your bades about you? if you have, I'll throuble you to give us + a touch of your Padareen Partha. Orange Bob at his Padareen Partha! ha, + ha, ha.” + </p> + <p> + “You know much about Protestantism. Blow me, but it's a sin to see such a + knavish scoundrel professing it.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a greater sin, you Orange omad-hawn, to see the likes o' you + disgracin' the bades an' the blessed religion you tuck an you.” + </p> + <p> + “You were no disgrace, then, to the one you left; but you are a burnin' + scandal to the one you joined, and they ought to kick you out of it.” + </p> + <p> + In fact, both converts, in the bitterness of their hatred, were beginning + to forget the new characters they had to support, and to glide back + unconsciously, or we should rather say, by the force of conscience, to + their original creeds. + </p> + <p> + “If Father M'Cabe was wise he'd send you to the heretics again.” + </p> + <p> + “If the Protestants regarded their own character, and the decency of their + religion, they'd send you back to your cursed Popery again.” + </p> + <p> + “It's no beef atin' creed, anyway,” said Darby, who had, without knowing + it, become once more a staunch Papist, “ours isn't.” + </p> + <p> + “It's one of knavery and roguery,” replied Bob, “sure devil a thing one of + you knows only to believe in your Pope.” + </p> + <p> + “You had betther not abuse the Pope,” said Darby, “for fraid I'd give you + a touch o' your ould complaint, the fallin' sickness, you know, wid my + fist.” + </p> + <p> + “Two could play at that game, Darby, and I say, to hell with him—and + the priests are all knaves and rogues, every one of them.” + </p> + <p> + “Are they, faith,” said Darby, “here's an answer for that, anyhow.” + </p> + <p> + “Text for text, you Popish rascal.” + </p> + <p> + A fierce battle took place on the open highway, which was fought with + intense' bitterness on both sides. The contest, which was pretty equal, + might, however, have been terminated by the defeat of one of them, had + they been permitted to fight without support on either side; this, + however, was not to be. A tolerably large crowd, composed of an equal + number of Catholics and Protestants, collected from the adjoining fields, + where they had been at labor, immediately joined them. Their appearance, + unhappily, had only the effect of renewing the battle. The Catholics, + ignorant of the turn which the controversy had taken, supported Bob and + Protestantism; whilst the Protestants, owing to a similar mistake, fought + like devils for Darby and the Pope. A pretty smart skirmish, in fact, + which lasted more than twenty minutes, took place between the parties, and + were it not that their wives, sisters, daughters, and mothers, assisted by + many who were more peaceably disposed, threw themselves between them, it + might have been much more serious than it was. If the weapons of warfare + ceased, however, so did not their tongues; there was abundance of rustic + controversy exchanged between them, that is to say, polemical scurrility + much of the same enlightened character as that in the preceding dialogue. + The fact of the two parties, too, that came to their assistance, having + mistaken the proper grounds of the quarrel, reduced Darby and Bob to the + necessity of retracing their steps, and hoisting once more their new + colors, otherwise their respective friends, had they discovered the + blunder they had committed, would, unquestionably, have fought the battle + a second time on its proper merits. Bob, escorted by his Catholic friends, + who shouted and huzza'd as they went along, proceeded to Father M'Cabe's; + whilst Darby and his adherents, following their example, went towards + M'Clutchy's, and having left him within sight of Constitution Cottage, + they returned to their labor. + </p> + <p> + We have already said, that neither M'Clutchy nor M'Slime was at all a + favorite with Darby. Darby was naturally as avaricious, and griping, and + oppressive as either of them; and as he was the principal instrument of + their rapacity and extortion, he deemed it but fair and just that they + should leave him at least a reasonable share of their iniquitous gains. + They were not, however, the gentlemen to leave much behind them, and the + upshot was, that Darby became not only highly dissatisfied at their + conduct towards him, but jealous and vigilant of all their movements, and + determined to watch an opportunity of getting them both into his power. + M'Slime's trick about M'Clutchy's letter first awoke his suspicions, and + the reader is already acquainted with the dexterous piece of piety by + which he secured it. Both letters now were in his possession, or at least + in a safe place; but as he had not yet read them, he did not exactly know + what line of conduct or deportment to assume. Then, how face M'Clutchy + without M'Slime's answer? Darby, however, was fertile, and precisely the + kind of man who could, as they sav, kill two birds with one stone. He had + it;—. just the very thing that would serve every purpose. + Accordingly, instead of going to M'Clutchy's at all, he turned his steps + to his own house; tied an old stocking around his head, got his face + bandaged, and deliberately took to his bed in a very severe state of + illness. And, indeed, to tell the truth, a day or two in bed was not + calculated to do him the least harm, but a great deal of good; for what, + between the united contributions of Father M'Cabe and Bob Beatty, he was + by no means an unfit subject for the enjoyment of a few days' retirement + from public life. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV.—Poll Doolin's Honesty, and Phil's Gallantry + </h2> + <p> + —A Beautiful but Cowardly Method of Destroying Female Reputation.—A + Domiciliary Visit from the Blood-hounds—Irresponsible Power + </p> + <p> + At length the hour of Mary M'Loughlin's appointment with Phil arrived, and + the poor girl found herself so completely divided between the contending + principles of love for Harman and aversion towards Phil, that she scarcely + knew the purport of her thoughts or actions. Harman's safety, however, was + the predominant idea in her soul, and in order to effect that, or at least + to leave nothing undone to effect it, she resolved, as pure and + disinterested attachment always will do—to sacrifice her detestation + for young M'Clutchy, so far as to give him an opportunity of satisfying + her that he was sincere in wishing to save her lover. This setting aside + her invincible and instinctive hatred of that worthy gentleman, was, she + thought, not at least unreasonable, and with her mind thus regulated she + accordingly awaited the appointed time. On reaching the back of her + father's garden she found that Phil had not arrived, but somewhat to her + relief she was accosted by Poll Doolin, who approached from a clump of + trees that stood in deep and impenetrable shadow, whilst she and Poll were + easily visible under the dim light of what is called a watery and cloudy + moon. + </p> + <p> + Poll, as she addressed her, spoke eagerly, and her voice trembled with + what appeared to Mary to be deep and earnest agitation. + </p> + <p> + “Miss M'Loughlin,” she exclaimed, in a low, but tremulous voice, “I now + forgive your father all—I forgive him and his—you need not + forgive, for I never bore you ill-will—but I am bound to tell you + that there's danger over your father's house and hearth this night. There + is but one can save them, and he will. You must go into your own room, + raise the window, and he will soon be there.” + </p> + <p> + “What is that, Poll,” said Mary, seriously alarmed, “I thought I heard the + sound of low voices among the trees there. Who are they, or what is it?” + </p> + <p> + “Make haste,” said Poll, leading the way, “go round to your room and come + to the window. It's an awful business—there is people there in the + clump—be quick, and when you come to the window raise it, and I'll + tell you more through it.” + </p> + <p> + Mary, in a state of great terror, felt that ignorant as she was of the + dangers and difficulties by which she was surrounded, she had no other + alternative than to be guided by Poll, who seemed to know the full extent + of the mysterious circumstances to which she made such wild and startling + allusions. + </p> + <p> + Poll immediately proceeded to Miss M'Loughlin's bed-room, the window of + which was soon opened by Mary herself, who with trembling hands raised it + no higher than merely to allow the necessary communication between them. + </p> + <p> + “You don't know, nor could you never suspect,” said Poll, “the struggles + that Misther Phil is makin' for you and yours. This night, maybe this + hour, will show his friendship for your family. And now, Mary M'Loughlin, + if you wish to have yourself and them safe—safe, I say, from his own + father's blood-hounds,” and this she hissed into her ear, squeezing her + hand at the same time until it became painful—in a voice so low, + earnest, and condensed, that it was scarcely in human nature to question + the woman's sincerity; “if,” she continued, “you wish to have them safe—and + Harman safe, be guided by him, and let him manage it his own way. He will + ask you to do nothing that is wrong or improper in itself; but as you love + your own family—as you value Harman's life—let him act + according to his own way, for he knows them he has to deal with best.” + </p> + <p> + “Wo—wo—heavy and bitter betide you, Poll Doolin, if you are + now deceiving me, or prompting mo to do anything that is improper! I will + not act in this business blindfold—neither I nor my family are + conscious of evil, and I shall certainly acquaint them this moment with + the danger that is over them.” + </p> + <p> + “By the souls of the dead,” replied Poll, uttering the oath in Irish, “if + you do what you say there will be blood shed this night—the blood, + too, of the nearest and dearest to you! Do not be mad, I say, do not be + mad!” + </p> + <p> + “May God guide me?” exclaimed the distressed girl, bursting into tears; + “for of myself I know not how to act.” + </p> + <p> + “Be guided by Mr. Phil,” said she; “he is the only man living that can + prevent the damnable work that is designed against your family this + night.” + </p> + <p> + She had scarcely uttered the words when Phil came breathless to the + window, and, as if moved by a sense of alarm, and an apprehension of + danger still greater than that expressed by Poll herself, he exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “Miss M'Loughlin, it's no time for ceremony—my father's blood-hounds + are at your father's door; and there is but one way of saving your family + from violence and outrage. Excuse me—but I must pass in by this + window. You don't know what I risk by it; but for your sake and theirs it + must be done.” + </p> + <p> + Even as he spake, the trampling of horses feet and the jingling of arms + were distinctly heard at M'Loughlin.'s door—a circumstance which so + completely paralyzed the distracted girl, that she became perfectly + powerless with affright. Phil availed himself of the moment, put his hand + to the window, which he raised up, and deliberately entered, after which + he shut it down. Poll, while he did so, coughed aloud, as if giving a + signal; and in an instant, a number of individuals mostly females, + approached the window, near enough to see young M'Clutchy enter, and shut + the window after him. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said Poll to the spectators, “I hope you're all satisfied; and you, + James Harman, will believe your own eyes, if you don't Poll Doolin. Is + that girl a fit wife for your cousin, do you think? Well, you're + satisfied, are you? Go home now, and help forrid the match, if you can. + You're a good witness of her conduct, at any rate.” + </p> + <p> + “I did not believe you, Poll,” replied the young man whom she addressed; + “but unfortunately I am now satisfied, sure enough. My own eyes cannot + deceive me. Lost and unhappy girl! what will become of her? But that's not + all—for she has proved herself treacherous, and deceitful, and + worthless.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said the crones whom Poll had brought to witness what certainly + seemed to them to be the innocent girl's shame and degradation—“ay,” + they observed, “there's now an end to her character, at any rate. The + pride of the M'Loughlins has got a fall at last—and indeed they + desarved it; for they held their heads as upsettin' as if they were dacent + Protestants, and them nothing but Papishes affeher all.” + </p> + <p> + “Go home, now,” said Poll; “go home all of yez. You've seen enough, and + too much. Throth I'm sorry for the girl, and did all I could, to persuade + her against the step she tuck; but it was no use—she was more like + one that tuck love powdhers from him, than a raisonable bein'.” + </p> + <p> + Harman's cousin had already departed, but in such a state of amazement, + indignation, and disgust, that he felt himself incapable of continuing a + conversation with any one, or of bestowing his attention upon any other + topic whatsoever. He was thunderstruck—his very faculties were + nearly paralyzed, and his whole mind literally clouded in one dark chaos + of confusion and distress. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said Poll to the females who accompanied her—“go home every + one of yez; but, for goodness sake don't be spakin' of what you seen this + night. The poor girl's correcther's gone, sure enough; but for all that, + let us have nothing to say to her or Mr. Phil. It'll all come out time + enough, and more than time enough, without our help; so, as I said, hould + a hard cheek about it. Indeed it's the safest way to do so—for the + same M'Loughlins is a dangerous and bitther faction to make or meddle + with. Go off now, in the name of goodness, and say nothin' to nobody—barring, + indeed, to some one that won't carry it farther.” + </p> + <p> + Whilst this dialogue, which did not occupy more than a couple of minutes, + was proceeding, a scene of a different character took place in + M'Loughlin's parlor, upon a topic which, at that period, was a very + plausible pretext for much brutal outrage and violence on the part of the + Orange yeomanry—we mean the possession, or the imputed possession, + of fire-arms. Indeed the state of society in a great part of Ireland—shortly + after the rebellion of ninety-eight—was then such as a modern + conservative would blush for. An Orangeman, who may have happened to + entertain a pique against a Roman Catholic, or sustained an injury from + one, had nothing more to do than send abroad, or get some one to send + abroad for him, a report that he had fire-arms in his possession. No + sooner had this rumor spread, than a party of these yeomanry assembled in + their regimentals, and with loaded fire-arms, proceeded, generally in the + middle of the night or about day-break, to the residence of the suspected + person. The door, if not immediately opened, was broken in—the whole + house ransacked—the men frequently beaten severely, and the ears of + females insulted by the coarsest and most indecent language. + </p> + <p> + These scenes, which in nineteen cases out of twenty, the Orangemen got up + to gratify private hatred and malignity, were very frequent, and may show + us the danger of any government entrusting power, in whatever shape, or + arms or ammunition, to irresponsible hands, or subjecting one party to the + fierce passions and bigoted impulses of another. + </p> + <p> + The noise of their horses' feet as they approached M'Loughlin's house in a + gallop, alarmed that family, who knew at once that it was a domiciliary + visit from M'Clutchy's cavalry. + </p> + <p> + “Raise the window,” said M'Loughlin himself, “and ask them what they want—or + stay, open the door,” he added at the same time to another, “and do not + let us give them an excuse for breaking it in. It's the blood-hounds, sure + enough,” observed he, “and here they are.” + </p> + <p> + In a moment they were dismounted, and having found the hall door open, the + parlor was crowded with armed men, who manifested all the overbearing + insolence and wanton insult of those who know that they can do so with + impunity. + </p> + <p> + “Come, M'Loughlin,” said Cochrane, now their leader, “you ribelly Papish + rascal, produce your arms—for we have been informed that you have + arms consaled in the house.” + </p> + <p> + “Pray who informed you, Mr. Cochrane?” + </p> + <p> + “That's not your business, my man,” replied Cochrane, “out with them + before we search.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll tell you what, Cochrane,” replied M'Loughlin, “whoever informed you + that we have arms is a liar—we have no arms.” + </p> + <p> + “And right well they know that,” said his son, “it's not for arms they + come, but it's a good excuse to insult the family.” + </p> + <p> + His father (who, on looking more closely at them, now perceived that they + were tipsy, and some of them quite drunk) though a man of singular + intrepidity, deemed it the wisest and safest course to speak to them as + civilly as possible. + </p> + <p> + “I did'nt think, Tom Cochrane,” said he, “that either I or any of my + family, deserved such a visit as this from, I may say, my own door + neighbors. It's not over civil, I think, to come in this manner, + disturbing a quiet and inoffensive family.” + </p> + <p> + “What's the ribelly rascal sayin'?” asked a drunken fellow, who lurched + across the floor, and would have fallen, had he not come in contact with a + chest of drawers, “what, wha-at's he say-ayin? but I sa-ay here's to hell + with the Po-po-pope—hurra!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah?” said young M'Loughlin, “you have the ball at your own foot now, but + if we were man to man, with equal weapons, there would be none of this + swagger.” + </p> + <p> + “What's tha-at the young rible says,” said 'the drunken fellow, + deliberately covering him with his cavalry pistol—“another word, and + I'll let day-light through you.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, Burke,” said a man named Irwin, throwing up the muzzle of the + pistol, “none o' this work, you drunken brute. Don't be alarmed, + M'Loughlin, you shan't be injured.” + </p> + <p> + “Go go to h—l, George, I'll do what I—I li-like; sure 'all + these ribels ha-hate King William that sa-saved us from brass money a-and + wooden noggins—eh, stay, shoes it is; no matter, they ought to be + brogues I think, for it—it's brogues—ay, brogues, the papish—it + is, by hell, 'brogues and broghans an' a' the Pa-papishes wear—that + saved us from bra-brass money, an—and wooden brogues, that's it—for + dam-damme if ever the Papishers was da-dacent enough to wear brass shoes, + never, by jingo; so, boys, it's brass brogues—ay, do they ha-hate + King William, that put us in the pil-pillory, the pillory in hell, and the + devils pel-peltin' us with priests,—hurra boys, recover arms—stand + at aise—ha—ram down Catholics—hurra!” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. M'Loughlin—” + </p> + <p> + “Mislher M'Loughlin! ay, there's respect for a Pa-pish, an' from a purple + man, too!” + </p> + <p> + “You had better be quiet, Burke,” retorted Irwin, who was a determined and + powerful man. + </p> + <p> + “For God's sake, gentlemen,” said Mrs. M'Loughlin, “do not disturb or + alarm our family—you are at liberty to search the house, but, as God + is above us, we have no arms of any kind, and consequently there can be + none in the house.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't believe her,” said Burke, “she's Papish—” He had not time to + add the offensive epithet, what ever it might have been, for Irwin—who, + in truth, accompanied the party with the special intention of repressing + outrage against the M'Loughlins whom he very much respected—having + caught him by the neck, shook the words back again, as it were, into his + very throat. “You ill-tongued drunken ruffian,” said he, “if you don't + hold your scoundrell tongue, I'll pitch you head foremost out of the + house. We must search, Mrs. M'Loughlin,” said Irwin, “but it will be done + as quietly as possible.” + </p> + <p> + They then proceeded through all the rooms, into which, singular as it may + appear, they scarcely looked, until they came into that in which we left + Mary M'Loughlin and Phil. The moment this worthy gentleman heard their + approach, he immediately shut the door, and, with all the seeming + trepidation and anxiety of a man who feared discover bustled about, and + made a show of preparing to resist their entrance. On coming to the door, + therefore, they found it shut, and everything apparently silent within. + </p> + <p> + “Open the door,” said Irwin, “we want to search for arms.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! boys,” said Phil in a whisper through he key-hole, “pass on if you + love me—I give you my word of honor that there's no arms here but a + brace that is worth any money to be locked in.” + </p> + <p> + “We must open, Mr. Phil,” said Sharpe, “you know our ordhers. By Japurs,” + said he, in a side voice to the rest, “the fellow wasn't boastin' at all; + it's true enough—I'll uould goold he was right, and that we'll find + her inside with him.” + </p> + <p> + “When I see it, I'll believe it,” said Irwin, but not till then. Open, + sir,” said he, “open, if all's right.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, d—n it, boys,” said Phil again, “this is too bad—honor + bright:—surely you wouldn't expose us, especially the girl.” At the + same time he withdrew his shoulder from the door, which flew open, and + discovered him striving to soothe and console Miss M'Loughlin, who had not + yet recovered her alarm and agitation, so as to understand the + circumstances which took place about her. In fact, she had been in that + description of excitement which, without taking away animation, leaves the + female (for it is peculiar to the sex) utterly incapable of taking + anything more than a vague cognizance of that which occurs before her + eyes. The moment she and Phil were discovered together, not all Irwin's + influence could prevent the party from indulging in a shout of triumph. + This startled her, and was, indeed, the means of restoring her to perfect + consciousness, and a full perception of her situation. + </p> + <p> + “What is this?” she inquired, “and why is it that a peaceable house is + filled with armed men? and you, Mr. M'Clutchy, for what treacherous + purpose did you intrude into my private room?” + </p> + <p> + M'Loughlin. himself, from a natural dread of collision between his sons + and the licentious yeomanry, and trusting to the friendship and steadiness + of Irwin, literally stood sentinel at the parlor door, and prevented them + from accompanying the others in the search. + </p> + <p> + “My darling Mary,” said Phil, “it's too late now, you see, to speak in + this tone—we're caught, that's all, found out, and be cursed to + these fellows. If they had found us anywhere else but in your bed-room, I + didn't so much care; however, it can't be helped now.” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke he raised his eye-brows from time to time at his companions, + and winked with an expression of triumph so cowardly and diabolical, that + it is quite beyond our ability to describe it. They, in the meantime, + winked and nodded in return, laughed heartily, and poked one another in + the ribs. + </p> + <p> + “Bravo, Mr. Phil!—success, Captain!—more power to you!” + </p> + <p> + “Come now, boys,” said Phil, “let us go. Mary, my darling, I must leave + you; but we'll meet again where they can't disturb us—stand around + me, boys, for, upon my honor and soul, these hot-headed fellows of + brothers of hers will knock my brain's out, if you don't guard me well; + here, put me in the middle of you—good by, Mary, never mind this, + we'll meet again.” + </p> + <p> + However anxious M'Loughlin had been to prevent the possibility of angry + words or blows between his sons and these men still the extraordinary yell + which accompanied the discovery of young M'Clutchy in his daughter's + bedroom, occasioned him to relax his vigilance, and rush to the spot, + after having warned and urged them to remain where they were. + Notwithstanding his remonstrances, they followed his footsteps, and the + whole family, in fact, reached her door as Phil uttered the last words. + </p> + <p> + “Great God, what is this,” exclaimed her father, “how came M'Clutchy, Val + the Vulture's son, into my daughter's sleeping-room? How came you here, + sir?” he added sternly, “explain it.” + </p> + <p> + Not even a posse of eighteen armed men, standing in a circle about him, + each with a cocked and loaded pistol in his hand, could prevent the + cowardly and craven soul of him from quailing before the eye of her + indignant father. His face became like a sheet of paper, perfectly + bloodless, and his eye sank as if it were never again to look from the + earth, or in the direction of the blessed light of heaven. + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” he proceeded, “you are, indeed, your treacherous, cowardly, and + cruel father's son; you cannot raise your eye upon me, and neither could + he. Mary,” he proceeded, addressing his daughter, “how did this + treacherous scoundrel get into your room? tell the truth—but that I + need not add, for I know you will.” + </p> + <p> + His daughter had been standing for some time in a posture that betrayed + neither terror nor apprehension. Raised to her full height, she looked + upon M'Clutchy and his men alternately, but principally upon himself, with + a smile which in truth was fearful. Her eyes brightened into clear and + perfect fire, the roundness of her beautiful arm was distended by the + coming forth of its muscles—her lips became firm—her cheek + heightened in color—and her temples were little less than scarlet. + There she stood, a concentration of scorn, contempt, and hatred the most + intense, pouring upon the dastardly villain an unbroken stream of + withering fury, that was enough to drive back his cowardly soul into the + deepest and blackest recesses of its own satanic baseness. Her father, in + fact, was obliged to address her twice, before he could arrest her + attention; for such was the measureless indignation which her eye poured + upon him, that she could scarcely look upon any other object. + </p> + <p> + “My child, did you hear me?” said her father. “How did this heartless and + down-looking scoundrel get into your apartment?” + </p> + <p> + She looked quickly upon her father's features— + </p> + <p> + “How?” said she; “how but by treachery, falsehood, and fraud! Is he not + Val M'Clutchy's son, my dear father?” + </p> + <p> + Her brothers had not yet uttered a syllable, but stood like their sister + with flushed cheeks and burning indignation in their eyes. On hearing what + their sister had just said, however, as if they had all been moved by the + same impulse, thought, or determination—as in truth they were—their + countenances became pale as death—they looked at each other + significantly—then at Phil—and they appeared very calm, as if + relieved—satisfied; but the expression of the eye darkened into a + meaning that was dreadful to look upon. + </p> + <p> + “That is enough, my child,” replied her father; “I suppose, my friends, + you are now satisfied—.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, by h—l,” shouted Burke, “we are now satisfied.” + </p> + <p> + Irwin had him again by the neck—“Silence,” said he, “or, as heaven's + above mo, I'll drive your brainless skull in with the butt of my pistol.” + </p> + <p> + “You are satisfied,” continued M'Loughlin, “that there are no arms here. I + hope you will now withdraw. As for you, treacherous and cowardly spawn of + a treacherous and cowardly father, go home and tell him to do his worst.—that + I scorn and defy him—that I will live to see him——; but + I am wrong,he is below our anger, and I will not waste words upon him.” + </p> + <p> + “You will find you have used a thrifle too many for all that,” said + another of them; “when he hears them, you may be sure he'll put them in + his pocket for you—as hear them he will.” + </p> + <p> + “We don't care a d—n,” said another, “what he does to blackguard + Papishes, so long as he's a right good Orangeman, and a right good + Protestant, too.” + </p> + <p> + “Come now,” said Irwin, “our duty is over—let us start for home; we + have no further business here.” + </p> + <p> + “Won't you give us something to drink?” asked a new voice; “I think we + desarve it for our civility. We neither broke doors nor furniture, nor + stabbed either bed or bed-clothes. We treated you well, and if you're + dacent you'll treat us well.” + </p> + <p> + “Confound him,” said a fresh hand; “I'd not drink his cursed Papish + whiskey. Sure the Papishes gets the priest to christen it for them. I + wouldn't drink his cursed Papish whiskey.” + </p> + <p> + “No, nor I,” said several voices;—upon which a loud and angry + dispute arose among them, as to whether it were consistent with true + loyalty, and the duties of a staunch Protestant and Orangeman, to drink + 'Papish liquor,' as they termed it, at all. + </p> + <p> + Irwin, who joined the negative party, insisted strongly that it would be + disgraceful for any man who had drunk the glorious, pious, and immortal + memory, ever to contaminate his loyal lips with whiskey that had been made + a Papish of by the priest. This carried the argument, or otherwise it is + hard to say what mischief might have arisen, had they heightened their + previous intoxication. + </p> + <p> + Phil, during this dialogue, still retained his place in the centre of his + friends; but from time to time he kept glancing from under his eyebrows at + M'Loughlin and his sons, in that spaniel-like manner, which betrays a + consciousness of offence and a dread of punishment. + </p> + <p> + Irwin now caused them to move off; and, indeed, scarcely anything could be + more ludicrous than the utter prostration of all manly feeling upon the + part of the chief offender. On separating, the same baleful and pallid + glances were exchanged between the brothers, who clearly possessed an + instinctive community of feeling upon the chief incident of the night—we + mean that of finding M'Clutchy in their sister's bedroom. Irwin noticed + their mute, motionless, but ghastly resentment, as did Phil himself, who, + whether they looked at him or not, felt that their eyes were upon him, and + that come what might, so long as he remained in the country he was marked + as their victim. This consciousness of his deserts was not at all lessened + by the observations of Irwin upon his conduct; for be it known, that + although there subsisted a political bond that caused Phil and the violent + spirits of the neighborhood to come frequently together, yet nothing could + exceed the contempt which they felt for him in his private and individual + capacity. + </p> + <p> + “Brother M'Clutchy,” said Irwin, “I'm afraid you've made a bad night's + work of it. By the moon above us, I wouldn't take the whole Castle Cumber + property and stand in your shoes from this night out.” + </p> + <p> + “Why so?” said Phil, who was now safe and beyond their immediate reach; + “why so, Irwin? I'll tell you what, Irwin; d—— my honor, but I + think you're cowardly. Did you see how steady I was to-night? Not a + syllable escaped my lips; but, zounds, didn't you see how my eye told?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, I certainly did, brother Phil, and a devilish bad tale it told, + too, for yourself. Your father has promised me a new lease, with your life + in it; but after this night, and after what I saw, I'll beg to have your + name left out of that transaction.” + </p> + <p> + “But didn't you see, George,” returned Phil, “that a man of them durstn't + look me in the face? They couldn't stand my eye; upon my honor they + couldn't.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Burke, “that's because they're Papishes. A rascally Papish can + never look a Protestant in the face.” + </p> + <p> + “Well but,” said Phil, “you would not believe that the girl was so fond of + me as she is, until you saw it. I knew very well they had no arms; so, as + I wished to give you an opportunity of judging for yourselves, I put the + journey upon that footing.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Irwin, “we shall see the upshot—that's all.” + </p> + <p> + They then escorted Phil home, after which they dispersed. + </p> + <p> + When M'Loughlin's family assembled in the parlor, after their departure, a + deep gloom I brooded over them for some minutes. Mary herself was the + first to introduce the incident which gave them so much distress, and in + which she herself had been so painfully involved. She lost not a moment, + therefore, in relating fully and candidly the whole nature of her + intercourse with Poll Doolin, and the hopes held out to her of Harman's + safety, through Phil M'Clutchy. At the same time, she expressed in + forcible language, the sacrifice of feeling which it had cost her, and the + invincible disgust with which she heard his very name alluded to. She then + simply related the circumstance of his entering her room through the open + window, and her belief, in consequence of the representations of Poll + Doolin, that he did so out of his excessive anxiety to prevent bloodshed + by the troopers—the trampling of whose horses' feet and the ringing + of whose arms had so completely overpowered her with the apprehension of + violence, that she became incapable of preventing M'Clutchy's entrance, or + even of uttering a word for two or three minutes. + </p> + <p> + “However,” said she, “I now see their design, which was to' ruin my + reputation, and throw a stain upon my character and good name. So far, I + fear, they have succeeded.” Tears then came to her relief, and she wept + long and bitterly. + </p> + <p> + “Do not let it trouble you, my darling,” said her father. “Your conscience + and heart are innocent, and that is a satisfaction greater than anything + can deprive you of. You were merely wrong in not letting us know the + conversation that took place between Poll Doolin and you; because, + although you did not know it, we could have told you that Poll is a woman + that no modest female ought to speak to in a private way. There was your + error, Mary; but the heart was right with you, and there's no one here + going to blame you for a fault that you didn't know to be one.” + </p> + <p> + Mary started on hearing this account of Poll Doolin, for she felt now that + the interviews she held with her were calculated to heighten her disgrace, + when taken in connection with the occurrence of the night. Her brothers, + however, who knew her truth and many virtues, joined their parents in + comforting and supporting her, but without the success which they could + have wished. The more she thought of the toils and snares that had been + laid for her, the more her perception of the calamity began to gain + strength, and her mind to darken. She became restless, perplexed, and + feverish—her tears ceased to flow—she sighed deeply, and + seemed to sink into that most withering of maladies, dry grief, which, in + her case, was certainly the tearless anguish of the heart. In this state + she went to bed, conscious of her own purity, but by no means, in its full + extent, of the ruined reputation to which she must awake on the succeeding + day. + </p> + <p> + Mary's brothers, with the exception of the words in which they joined + their father and mother in consoling her, scarcely uttered a syllable that + night—the same silent spirit, be it of good or evil, remained upon + them. They looked at each other, however, from time to time, and seemed to + need no other interpreter of what passed within them, but their own wild + and deep-meaning glances. This did not escape their father, who was so + much struck, perhaps alarmed, by it, that he very properly deemed it his + duty to remonstrate with them on the subject. + </p> + <p> + “Boys,” said he, “I don't understand your conduct this night, and, above + all, I don't understand your looks—or rather, I think I do, I'm + afraid I do—but, listen to me, remember that revenge belongs to God. + You know what the Scripture says, 'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, and + I will repay it.' Leave that bad son of a worse father to God.” + </p> + <p> + “He has destroyed Mary's reputation,” said John, the eldest; “I might, + possibly, forgive him if he had killed her like a common murderer, but he + has destroyed our pure-hearted sister's reputation, ha, ha, ha.” The laugh + that followed these last words came out so unexpectedly, abruptly, and + wildly, that his father and mother both started. He then took the poker in + his hands, and, with a smile at his brothers, in which much might be read, + he clenched his teeth, and wound it round his arms with apparent ease. “If + I gotten thousand pounds,” said he, “I could not have done that two hours + ago, but I can now—are you satisfied?” said he to his brothers. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, John,” they replied, “we are satisfied—that will do.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” he proceeded, “I could forgive anything but that. The father's + notice to us to quit the holding on which we and our forefathers lived so + long, and expended so much money—and his refusal to grant us a + lease, are nothing:—now we could forgive all that; but this, this—oh, + I have no name for it—the language has not words to express it—but—well, + well, no matter for the present. If the cowardly scoundrel would fight!—but + he won't, for the courage is not in him.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV.—Objects of an English Traveller + </h2> + <p> + —Introduction of a New Character—Correspondence between Evory + Easel, Esq., and Sam Spinageberd, Esq.—Susanna and the Elder; or, + the Conventicle in Trouble—Phils Gallantry and Courage. + </p> + <p> + It was about eleven o'clock the next day that a person in the garb of a + gentleman, that is, the garb was a plain one enough, but the air of the + person who wore it was evidently that of a man who had seen and mingled in + respectable life, was travelling towards Springfield, the residence of Mr. + Hickman, when he overtook two females, one of whom was dressed in such a + way as made it clear that she wished to avoid the risk of being known. She + was a little above the middle size, and there could be little doubt, from + the outline of her figure, that, in the opinion of unsuspicious people, + she had reached the dignity of a matron. Her companion was dressed in + faded black, from top to toe, and from the expression of her thin, sallow + face, and piercing black eyes, there could be little doubt she had seen a + good deal of the world as it exists in rustic life. The person who + overtook these two females carried a portfolio, and appeared to observe + the country and its scenery, as he went along with well marked attention. + </p> + <p> + “Pray, ma'am,” said he, “whose is that fine old building to the right, + which appears to be going to ruin? It is evidently not inhabited.” + </p> + <p> + “You're a stranger in the place, then,” replied the female, “or you surely + might know Castle Cumber House, where old Tom Topertoe used to live before + the union came. He was made a lord of for sellin' our parliament, and now + his son, the present lord, is leadin' a blessed life abroad, for he never + shows his face here.” + </p> + <p> + “He is an absentee, then?” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure he is, and so is every man of them now, barrin' an odd one. + The country's deserted, and although business is lookin' up a little—take + your time, Susanna, we needn't be in sich a hurry now—although, as I + said, business is lookin' up a little, still it's nothing to what it was + when the gentry lived at home wid us.” + </p> + <p> + “Who is agent to this Lord Cumber, pray?” + </p> + <p> + “A blessed boy, by all accounts, but that's all I'll say about him—I + know him too well to make him my enemy.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, is he not popular—is he not liked by the tenantry?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Lord, to be sure—they doat upon him; and, indeed, no wondher, + he's so kind and indulgent to the poor. To tell you the truth, he's a + great blessin' to the country.” + </p> + <p> + “That, to be sure, is very satisfactory—and, pray, if I may take the + liberty, who is his law agent, or has he one?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, another blessed—hem—a very pious devout man, named Mr. + Solomon M'Slime, an attorney—but, indeed, an attorney that almost + shames the Bible itself, he's so religious. Isn't he, Susanna?” + </p> + <p> + “He hath good gifts; if he doth not abuse them.” + </p> + <p> + “Religion is certainly the best principle in life, if sincerely felt, and + not prostituted and made a mask of.” + </p> + <p> + “A mask! isn't that, sir, a thing that people put on and off their face, + according as it may suit them?” + </p> + <p> + “Just so, madam; you have exactly described it.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, the divil a mask ever he made of it, then, for he never lays it aside + at all. He has kept it on so steadily, that, I'll take my oath, if he was + to throw, it off now, he wouldn't know himself in the looking-glass, it's + so long since he got a glimpse of his own face.” + </p> + <p> + “Lord Cumber must be a happy man to have two such valuable agents upon his + property.” + </p> + <p> + “Talkin' of Lord Cumber and his property, if you wish to know all about + them, here's your man comin' over by the cross road here—he's goin' + to M'Clutchy's I suppose, and, as you appear to be goin' in the same + direction, I'll hand you over to him. Good morrow, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Good morrow, kindly, Poll, and—eh—who's this you've got wid + you?” he continued, eyeing Susanna, “a stranger to me, any how. Well, + Poll, and how are you?” + </p> + <p> + “There's no use in complainin', Darby; I'm middlin'—and how is + yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “Throth, Poll, I've a lump in my stomach that I fear will settle me yet, + if I don't get it removed somehow. But, sure, the hathens, I forgive + them.” In the meantime he slyly rubbed his nose and winked both eyes, as + he looked towards Susanna, as much as to say, “I know all.” + </p> + <p> + Poll, however, declined to notice the recognition, but renewed the + discourse— + </p> + <p> + “Why, Darby, how did the lump come into your stomach? Faith, in these hard + times, there's many a poor divel would be glad to have such a complaint—eh?” + </p> + <p> + “And, is it possible you didn't hear it?” he asked with surprise, + “howandever, you shall. I was carrying a letther from Mr. M'Slime, that + good, pious crature”—another shrewd look at Susanna, “Mr. M'Slime to + Mr. M'Clutchy, another good gintleman, too, and who should attack me on + the way but that turncoat hathen Bob Beatty, wid a whole posse of + idolathers at his heels. They first abused me because I left them in their + darkness, and then went to search me for writs, swearin' that they'd make + me ait every writ I happened to have about me. Now, I didn't like to let + Mr. M'Slime's letther fall into their hands, and, accordingly, I tore it + up and swallowed it, jist in ordher to disappoint the hathens. Howandever, + I'm sufferin' for it, but sure you know, Poll, it's our duty—I don't + mane yours, for you're a hathen and idolather still—but mine; it's + my duty to suffer for the thruth, anyhow.” + </p> + <p> + Poll's laughter was loud and vehement on hearing these sentiments from a + man she knew so well; but, to tell the truth, Darby, who felt that, in + consequence of his last interview with Lucre, he was in for it, came to + the resolution of doing it heavy, as they say, or, in other words, of + going the whole hog. + </p> + <p> + “This appears to be a strange country, observed the traveller. + </p> + <p> + “Wait,” said Poll, “till you come to know it, and you'll say that.” + </p> + <p> + “No, but wait,” observed Darby, “till the spread comes, and then you may + say it.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean by the spread?” asked! the stranger. + </p> + <p> + “Why, the spread o' the gospel—of religion, to be shure,” replied + Darby; “and in this counthry,” he added, “a glorious spread it is, the + Lord be praised! Are you travellin far in this direction, sir, wid + summission?” + </p> + <p> + “I am going as far as Springfield, the residence of a Mr. Hickman, to whom + I have a letter of introduction. Do you know him?” + </p> + <p> + “He was an agent on this property,” replied Darby; “but Mr. M'Clutchy came + afther him; and, indeed, the tenants is mighty well satisfied wid the + change. Hickman, sir, was next to a hathen—made no differ in life + between an idolather and a loyal Protestant, but Mr. M'Clutchy, on the + other hand, knows how to lean to his own, as he ought to do. And in regard + o' that, I'd advise you when you see Mr. Hickman, jist to be on your guard + as to what he may say about the Castle Cumber property, and them that's + employed an it. Between you and me, he's not over scrupulous, and don't be + surprised if he lays it hot and heavy on Mr. M'Clutchy and others, not + forgettin' your humble sarvant, merely in regard of our honesty and + loyalty, for I'm a staunch Protestant, myself, glory be to God, and will + support the Castle Cumber inthrest through thick and thin. Now, sir,” he + added, “there's two ways to Hickman's; and between you and me agin' Mr. + Hickman is a real gentleman, exceptin' his little failings about + M'Clutchy; but who is widout them? I dunna, but it would be as well if he + had remained agent still; and when you see him, if you happen to say that + Darby O'Drive tould you so, I think he'll understand you. Well—there's + two ways, as I said, to this place—one by this road, that turns to + the right—which, indeed, is the shortest—the other is by + Constitution Cottage, which is M'Clutchy's place, where I am goin' to.” + </p> + <p> + The stranger, after thanking Darby for his information, took the shorter + road, and in about an hour or so reached Springfield. + </p> + <p> + It is not our intention to detail his interview with Mr. Hickman. For the + present it is sufficient to say, that he produced to that gentleman a + letter of introduction from Lord Cumber himself, who removed all mystery + from about him, by stating that he was an English artist, who came over on + a foolish professional tour, to see and take sketches of the country, as + it appeared in its scenery, as well as in the features, character, and + costume of its inhabitants. He had also introductions to M'Clutchy, + M'Slime, Squire Deaker, M. Lucre, and several other prominent characters + of the neighborhood. + </p> + <p> + As this gentleman amused himself by keeping an accurate and regular + journal of all events connected with the Castle Cumber property, or which + occurred on it, we feel exceedingly happy in being able to lay these + important chronicles before our readers, satisfied as we are, that they + will be valued, at least on the other side of the channel, exactly in + proportion to the scanty opportunities he had of becoming acquainted with + our language, manners, and character. The MS. is now before us, and the + only privilege we reserve to ourselves is simply to give his dialogue an + Irish turn, and to fill up an odd chasm here and there, occasioned by his + ignorance of circumstances which have come to our knowledge through + personal cognizance, and various other sources. The journal now in our + possession is certainly the original one; but we know that copies of it + were addressed successively, as the events occurred, to a gentleman in + London, named Spinageberd, under cover to Lord Cumber himself, who kindly + gave them the benefit of his frank, during the correspondence. Our friend, + the journalist, as the reader will perceive, does not merely confine + himself to severe facts, but gives us all the hints, innuendoes, and + rumors of the day, both personal, religious and political. With these, our + duty is simply to confirm or contradict them where we can, and where we + cannot, to leave them just as we found them, resting upon their intrinsic + claims to belief or otherwise. Having premised thus far, we beg leave to + introduce to our reader's special acquaintance, Evory Easel, Esq., an + English Artist and Savan, coming to <i>do</i> a portion of the country, + ladies and gentleman, as has been often done before. + </p> + <p> + Batch No. I. Evory Easel, Esq., to Sam Spinageberd, Esq. + </p> + <p> + “Old Spinageberd: + </p> + <p> + “Here I am at last, in the land of fun and fighting—-mirth and + misery—orange and green. I would have written to you a month ago, + but, that such a course was altogether out of my calculation. The moment I + arrived, I came to the determination of sauntering quietly about, but + confining myself to a certain locality, listening to, and treasuring up, + whatever I could see or hear, without yet availing myself of Lord Cumber's + introductions, in order that my first impressions of the country and the + people, might result from personal observation, and not from the bias, + which accounts heard here from either party, might be apt to produce. + First, then, I can see the folly, not to say the injustice, which I ought + to say, of a landlord placing his property under the management of a + furious partisan, whose opinions, political and religious are not merely + at variance with but, totally opposed to, those whose interests are + entrusted to his impartiality and honesty. In the management of a property + circumstanced as that of Castle Cumber is, where the population is about + one-half Roman Catholic, and the other half Protestant and Presbyterian, + between us, any man, my dear Spinageberd, not a fool or knave, must see + the madness of employing a fellow who avows himself an enemy to the creed + of one portion of the tenantry, and a staunch supporter of their + opponents. Is this fair, or can justice originate in its purity from such + a source? Is it reasonable to suppose that a Roman Catholic tenantry, who, + whatever they may bear, are impatient of any insult or injustice offered + to their creed, or, which is the same thing, to themselves on account of + that creed,—is it reasonable, I say, to suppose that such a people + could rest satisfied with a man who acts towards them only through the + medium of his fierce and ungovernable prejudices? Is it not absurd to + imagine for one moment that property can be fairly administered through + such hands, and, if not property, how much less justice itself. You may + judge of my astonishment, as an Englishman, when I find that the + administration of justice is in complete keeping with that of property; + for, I find it an indisputable fact, that nineteen magistrates, out of + every twenty, are Orangemen, or party men of some description, opposed to + Roman Catholic principles. And, yet, the Roman Catholic party are expected + to exhibit attachment to the government which not merely deprives them of + their civil rights, but literally places the execution of the laws in the + hands of their worst and bitterest enemies. I say so deliberately; for I + find that nothing so strongly recommends a man to the office of + magistrate, or, indeed, to any office under government, as the + circumstance of being a strong, conspicuous anti-Catholic. In writing to + you, my dear Spinageberd, you may rest assured that I will give expression + to nothing but truths which are too well known to be contradicted. The + subject of property in Ireland, is one, which, inasmuch as it is + surrounded with great difficulties, is also entitled to great + consideration. + </p> + <p> + “If there be any one prejudice in the character of an Irish peasant + stronger or more dangerous than another—and he has many, they say, + that are both strong and dangerous—it is that which relates to + property and the possession of it. This prejudice is, indeed, so conscious + of its own strength, and imbued in this opinion with so deep a conviction + of its justice, that, in ordinary circumstances, it scorns the aid of all + collateral and subordinate principles and even flings religion aside, as + an unnecessary ally, justice, therefore, or oppression, or partiality in + the administration of property, constitutes the greatest crime known to + the agrarian law, and is consequently resisted by the most unmitigable and + remorseless punishment. The peasant who feels, or believes himself to be + treated with injustice, or cruelty, never pauses to reflect upon the + religion of the man whom he looks upon as his oppressor. He will shoot a + Catholic landlord or agent from behind a hedge, with as much good will as + he would a Protestant. Indeed, in general, he will prefer a Protestant + landlord to those of his own creed, knowing well, as he does, that the + latter, where they are possessed of property, constitute the very worst + class of landlords in the kingdom. As religion, therefore, is not at all + necessarily mixed up with the Irishman's prejudices as this subject—it + is consequently both dangerous and wicked to force it to an adhesion with + so dreadful a principle as that which resorts to noon-day or midnight + murder. This is unfortunately what such fellows as this M'Clutchy do. They + find the Irish peasant with but one formidable prejudice in relation to + property, and by a course of neglect, oppression, and rapacity, joined to + all the malignant rancor of religious bigotry and party feeling, they + leave him goaded by a hundred. I believe in my soul that there are many + fire-brands like M'Clutchy in this country, who create the crime, in order + to have the gratification of punishing it, and of wreaking a legal + vengeance upon the unfortunate being who has been guilty of it, in order + that they may recommend themselves as loyal men to the government of the + day. If this be so, how can the country be peaceable? If it be peaceable, + such men can have no opportunity of testing their loyalty, and if they do + not test their loyalty, they can have no claim upon the government, and + having no claim upon the government, they will get nothing from it. The + day will come, I hope, when the very existence of men like these, and of + the system which encouraged; them, will be looked upon with disgust and + wonder—when the government of our country will make no invidious + distinctions of creed or party, and will not base the administration of + its principles upon the encouragement of hatred between man and man. + </p> + <p> + “Hickman, the former agent, was the first to whom I presented Lord + Cumber's letter. He is a gentleman by birth, education, and property; a + man of a large and a liberal mind, well stored with information and has + the character of being highly, if not punctiliously honorable. His age is + about fifty-five, but owing to his regular and temperate habits of life, + and in this country temperance is a virtue indeed, he scarcely, looks + beyond forty. Indeed, I may observe by the way, that in this blessed year + of ——, the after-dinner indulgences of the Irish squirearchy, + who are the only class that remain in the country, resemble the drunken + orgies of Silenus and his satyrs, more than anything else to which I can + compare them. The conversation is in general licentious, and the drinking + beastly; and I don't know after all, but the Irish are greater losers by + their example than they would be by their absence. + </p> + <p> + “On making inquiries into the state and management of this property, I + found Hickman actuated by that fine spirit of gentlemanly delicacy, which + every one, rich and poor, attribute to him. M'Clutchy having succeeded + him, he very politely declined to enter into the subject at any length, + but told me that I could be at no loss in receiving authentic information + on a subject so much and so painfully canvassed. I find it is a custom in + this country for agents to lend money to their employers, especially when + they happen to be in a state of considerable embarrassment, by which means + the unfortunate landlord is seldom able to discharge or change his agent, + should he misconduct himself; and is consequently saddled with a vampire + probably for life, or while there is any blood to be got out of him. + Hickman, who has other agencies, makes it a point of principle, never to + lend money to a landlord, by which means he avoids those imputations which + are so frequently and justly brought against those who trade upon the + embarrassments of their employers, in order to get them into their power. + </p> + <p> + “May 13.—There are two newspapers in the town of Castle Cumber, + conducted upon opposite principles: one of them is called <i>The Castle + Cumber True Blue</i>, and is the organ of the Orange Tory party, and the + High Church portion of the Establishment. The other advocates the cause of + the Presbyterians, Dissenters, and gives an occasional lift to the + Catholics. There is also a small party here, which, however, is gaining + ground every day, called the Evangelical, an epithet adopted for the + purpose of distinguishing them from the mere worldly and political High + Churchmen, who, together with all the loyalty and wealth, have certainly + all the indifference to religion, and most of the secular and + ecclesiastical corruptions that have disgraced the Church, and left it + little better than a large mass of bribes in the hands of the English + minister. In such a state of things, you may judge how that rare grace, + piety, is rewarded. There is, besides, no such thing to be found in this + country as an Irish bishop, nor, is a bishop ever appointed for his + learning or his piety; on the contrary, the unerring principle of their + elevation to the mitre, is either political, or family influence, or both. + I wish I could stop here but I cannot; there are, unfortunately, still + more flagitious motives for their appointment. English ministers have been + found who were so strongly influenced by respect for the religion and + Church Establishment of the Irish, that they have not blushed to promote + men, who were the convenient instruments of their own profligacy, to some + of the richest sees in the kingdom. But I am travelling out of my record; + so to return. The name of the second paper is the <i>Genuine Patriot, and + Castle Cumber Equivocal</i>; this last journal is, indeed, sorely + distressed between the Catholic and Evangelical parties. The fact is, that + the Evangelicals entertain such a horror of Popery, as a spiritual + abomination, that they feel highly offended that their advocates should + also be the advocate of Old Broadbottom, as the Orangemen call the Pope; + in consequence, they say, of his sitting upon seven hills. The editors of + these papers are too decidedly opposed in general, to be on bad terms with + each other; or, to speak more intelligibly, they are not on the same side, + and consequently do not hate each other as they ought and would. The town + of Castle Cumber, like every other country town, is one mass of active and + incessant scandal; and, it not infrequently happens that the <i>True Blue</i> + will generously defend an individual on the opposite side, and the <i>Genuine + Patriot</i> fight for a High Churchman. The whole secret of this, however + is, that it is the High Churchman who writes in the <i>Patriot</i>, and + the Evangelical in the <i>True Blue</i>, each well knowing that a defence + by an opposing paper is worth more than one by his favorite organ. In the + instance I am about to specify, however, the case was otherwise, each + paper adhering to the individual of his own principles. On taking up the + <i>True Blue</i> I read the following passage, to which I have fortunately + obtained a key that will make the whole matter quite intelligible. The + article was headed:— + </p> + <p> + “Susanna and the Elder; or the Conventicle in trouble. + </p> + <p> + “'For some time past we regret, sincerely regret, as Christian men, that a + rumor has, by degrees, been creeping into circulation, which we trust is, + like most rumors of the kind, without foundation. The reputation of a very + pious professional gentleman, well known for his zeal and activity in the + religious world, is said to be involved in it, but, we trust, untruly. The + gentleman in question, has, we know, many enemies; and we would fain hope, + that this is merely some evil device fabricated by the adversaries of + piety and religion. The circumstances alluded to are briefly these: + Susanna, says the evil tongue of rumor, was a religious young person, + residing in the character of children's maid in the family. She was of + decided piety, and never known to be absent from morning and evening + worship; it seems, besides, that she is young, comely, and very agreeable, + indeed, to the mere, secular eye her symmetry had been remarkable, but + indeed female graces are seldom long lived; she is not now, it seems, in + the respectable gentleman's family alluded to, and her friends are anxious + to see her, but cannot. So the idle story goes, but we hesitate not to say + that it originates in the vindictive malice of some concealed enemy, who + envies the gentleman in question his pure and unsullied reputation. We + would not ourselves advert to it at all, but that we hope it may meet his + eye, and prompt him to take the earliest measures to contradict and refute + it, as we are certain he will and can do.' + </p> + <p> + “This was all exceedingly kind, and certainly so very charitable that the + Equivocal could not, with any claim to Christian principles, suffer itself + to be outdone in that blessed spirit of brotherly love and forgiveness, + which, it trusted, always characterized its pages. + </p> + <p> + “'We are delighted,' it said, 'at the mild and benevolent tone in which, + under the common misconception, a little anecdote, simple and harmless in + itself, was uttered. Indeed, we smiled—but we trust the smile was + that of a Christian—on hearing our respected and respectable + contemporary doling out the mistake of a child, with such an air of solemn + interest in the reputation of a gentleman whose name and character are + beyond the reach of either calumny or envy. The harmless misconception on + which, by a chance expression, the silly rumor was founded, is known to + all the friends of the gentleman in question. He himself, however, being + one of those deep-feeling Christians, who are not insensible to the means + which often resorted to, for wise purposes, in order to try us and prove + our faith, is far from looking on the mistake—as, in the weakness of + their own strength, many would as a thing to be despised and contemned. + No; he receives it as a warning, it may be for him to be more preciously + alive to his privileges, and to take care when he stands lest he might + fall. Altogether, therefore, he receives this thing as an evidence that he + is cared for, and that it is his duty to look upon it as an awakening of + his, perhaps, too worldly and forgetful spirit, to higher and better + duties; and if so, then will it prove a blessing unto him, and will not + have been given in vain. We would not, therefore, be outdone even in + charity by our good friend of the <i>True Blue</i>; and we remember that + when about six months ago, he was said to have been found in a state + scarcely compatible with sobriety, in the channel of Castle Cumber main + street, opposite the office door of the Equivocal, on his way home from an + Orange lodge, we not only aided him, as was our duty, but we placed the + circumstance in its proper light—a mere giddiness in the head, + accompanied by a total prostration of physical strength, to both of which + even the most temperate, and sober, are occasionally liable. The defect of + speech, accompanied by a strong tendency to lethargy, we accounted for at + the time, by a transient cessation or paralysis of the tongue, and a + congestion of blood on the brain, all of which frequently attack persons + of the soberest habits. Others might have said it was intoxication, or + drunkenness, and so might his character have been injured; but when his + incapacity to stand was placed upon its proper footing, the matter was + made perfectly clear, and there was, consequently, no doubt about it. So + easy is it to distort a circumstance, that is harmless and indifferent in + itself, into a grievous fault, especially where there is not Christian + charity to throw a cloak over it.' + </p> + <p> + “'Such is a specimen of two paragraphs—one from each paper; and + considering that the subject was a delicate one, and involving; the + character of a professor, we think it was as delicately handled on both + sides as possible. I am told it is to be publicly alluded to to-morrow in + the congregation of which the subject of it, a Mr. Solomon M'Slime, an + attorney, is an elder—a circumstance which plainly accounts for the + heading of the paragraph in the True Blue. + </p> + <p> + “There were, however, about a week or ten days ago, a couple of paragraphs + in the <i>True Blue</i>—which, by the way, is Mr. M'Clutchy's + favorite paper—of a very painful description. There is a highly + respectable man here, named M'Loughlin—and you will please to + observe, my dear Spinageberd, that this M'Loughlin is respected and well + spoken of by every class and party; remember that, I say. This man is a + partner with a young fellow named Harman, who is also very popular with + parties. Harman, it seems, was present at some scene up in the mountains, + where M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, as they are called, from their ferocity + when on duty, had gone to take a man suspected for murder. At all events, + one of the blood-hounds in the straggle—for they were all armed, as + they usually are—lost his life by the discharge—said to be + accidental, but sworn to be otherwise, before Mr. Magistrate M'Clutchy—of + a loaded carbine. He was to have been tried at the assizes which have just + terminated; but his trial has been postponed until the next assizes, it is + said for want of sufficient evidence. Be this as it may, it seems that + M'Loughlin's beautiful daughter was soon to have been married to her + father's young partner, now in prison. The unfortunate girl, however, + manifested the frailty of her sex: for while her former lover was led to + suppose that he possessed all the fulness of her affection, she was + literally carrying on a private and guilty intrigue with one of the worst + looking scoundrels that ever disgraced humanity—I mean Phil, as he + is called, only son to Valentine M'Clutchy—who, by the way, goes + among the people under the sobriquet of Val the Vulture. I need not say + what the effects of this young woman's dishonor have produced upon her + family. Young M'Clutchy was seen by several to go into her own apartment, + and was actually found striving to conceal himself there by his father's + blood-hounds who had received information that M'Loughlin had fire-arms in + his house. The consequence is, that the girl's reputation is gone for + ever. 'Tis true the verdict against her is not unanimous. There is a + woman, named Poll Doolin, mentioned, who bears a most unrelenting enmity + against M'Loughlin and his family, for having transported one of her sons. + She is said to have been the go-between on this occasion, and that the + whole thing is a cowardly and diabolical plot between this Phil—whom + the girl, it seems, refused to marry before—and herself. I don't + know how this may be; but the damning fact of this ugly scoundrel having + been seen to go into her room, with her own consent, and being found + there, attempting to conceal himself, by his father's cavalry, overweighs, + in my opinion, anything that can be said in her favor. As it is, the + family are to be pitied, and she herself, it seems, is confined to her bed + with either nervous or brain fever, I don't know which—but the + disclosure of the intrigue has had such an effect upon her mind, that it + is scarcely thought she will recover it. Every one who knew her is + astonished at it; and what adds to the distress of her and her family is, + that Harman, whose cousin was an eye-witness to the fact of her receiving + Phil into her chamber, has written both to her and them, and that + henceforth he renounces her for ever. + </p> + <p> + “There have also been strong rumors touching the insolvency of the firm of + M'Loughlin and Harman, and, it is to be feared, that this untoward + exposure will injure them even in a worldly point of view. In the <i>True + Blue</i> there are two paragraphs of the following stamp—paragraphs + that certainly deserve to get the ears of those who either wrote or + published them cropped off their heads. + </p> + <p> + “Unprecedented Feat of Gallantry and Courage! + </p> + <p> + “Public rumor has already exonerated us from the delicacy which would + otherwise have restrained our pen from alluding to a feat of gallantry and + courage performed by a young gentleman who does not live a hundred miles + from Constitution Cottage. It seems that a <i>laison</i> once subsisted + between him and a young lady of great personal attractions, and, at that + time, supposed (erroneously) to be entitled to a handsome dowry, + considering that the fair creature worships at the Mallet Office, and + bestows, in the exercise of her usual devotion, some soft blows upon her + fair, but not insensible bosom. Our readers will understand us. The young + gentleman in question, however, hearing that the lady had been recently + betrothed to a partner of her father's, prompted by that spirit of gallant + mischief or dare-devilism for which he is so remarkable, did, under very + dangerous circumstances, actually renew his intimacy, and had several + stolen, and, consequently, sweet meetings with the charming creature. + This, however, reached his father's ears, who, on proper information, + despatched a troop of his own cavalry to bring the young gentleman home—and + so accurate was the intelligence received, that, on reaching her father's + house, they went directly to the young lady's chamber, from which they led + out the object of their search, after several vain but resolute attempts + to exclude them from his bower of love. This unfortunate discovery has + occasioned a great deal of embarrassment in the family, and broken up the + lady's intended marriage with her father's partner. But what strikes us, + is the daring courage of the hero who thus gallantly risked life and limb, + rather than that the lady of his love should pine in vain. Except + Leander's, of old, we know of no such feat of love and gallantry in these + degenerate days.' + </p> + <p> + “This other is equally malignant and vindictive + </p> + <p> + “'Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. + </p> + <p> + “'We shall be very happy, indeed exceedingly so, to contradict an + unpleasing rumor, affecting the solvency of our respected fellow-townsmen, + Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. We. do not ourselves give any credit to + such rumors; but how strange, by the way, that such an expression should + drop from our pen on such a subject? No, we believe them to be perfectly + solvent; or, if we err in supposing so, we certainly err in the company of + those on whose opinions, we, in general, are disposed to rely. We are + inclined to believe, and we think, that for the credit of so respectable a + firm, it is our duty to state it, that the rumor affecting their solvency + has been mistaken for another of an almost equally painful character + connected with domestic life, which, by the unhappy attachment of ****** + to a young gentleman of a different creed, and proverbially loyal + principles, has thrown the whole family into confusion and distress.' + </p> + <p> + “These, my dear Spinageberd, are the two paragraphs, literally + transcribed, from the True Blue, and I do not think it necessary to add + any comment to them. On tomorrow I have resolved to attend the Dissenting + Chapel, a place of worship where I have never yet been, and I am anxious, + at all events, to see what the distinctions are between their mode of + worship and that of the Church of Englandism. Besides, to admit the truth, + I am also anxious to see how this Solomon—this religious attorney, + whose person I well know—will deport himself under circumstances + which assuredly would test the firmness of most men, unless strongly and + graciously sustained, as they say themselves.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI.—Solomon in Trouble + </h2> + <p> + —Is Publicly Prayed for—His Gracious Deliverance, and Triumph—An + Orangeman's View of Protestantism and of Popery—Phil's Discretion + and Valor. + </p> + <p> + “Monday, half-past eleven o'clock. + </p> + <p> + “My Dear Spinageberd: + </p> + <p> + “In pursuance of my intention, I attended the Castle Cumber Meeting-house + yesterday, and must confess that I very much admire the earnest and + unassuming simplicity of the dissenting ritual. They have neither the + epileptical rant nor goatish impulses of the Methodists, nor the drowsy + uniformity from which not all the solemn beauty of the service can redeem + the Liturgy of the Church of England. In singing, the whole congregation + generally take a part—a circumstance which, however it may impress + their worship with a proof of sincerity, certainly adds nothing to its + melody. + </p> + <p> + “The paragraph of 'Susanna and the' Elder' having taken wind, little + Solomon, as they call him, attended his usual seat, with a most unusual + manifestation of grace and unction beaming from his countenance. He was + there early; and before the service commenced he sat with his hands locked + in each other, their palms up, as was natural, but his eyes cast down, in + peaceful self-communion, as was evident from the divine and ecstatic smile + with which, from time to time, he cast up his enraptured eyes to heaven, + and sighed—sighed with an excess of happiness which was vouchsafed + to but few, or, perhaps, for those depraved and uncharitable sinners who + had sent abroad such an ungodly scandal against a champion of the faith. + At all events, at the commencement of the service, the minister—a + rather jolly-looking man, with a good round belly apparently well lined—read + out of a written paper, the following short address to those present:— + </p> + <p> + “'The prayers of this congregation are requested for one of its most + active and useful members, who is an elder thereof. They are requested to + enable him to fight the good fight, under the sore trials of a wicked + world which have come upon him in the shape of scandal. But inasmuch as + these dispensations are dealt out to us often for our soul's good and + ultimate comfort, the individual in question doth not wish you to pray for + a cessation of this, he trusts, benign punishment. He receives it as a + token—a manifestation that out of the great congregation of the + faithful that inherit the church, he—an erring individual—a + frail unit, is not neglected nor his spiritual concerns overlooked. He + therefore doth not wish you to say, “cease Lord, this evil unto this man,” + but yea, rather to beseech, that if it be for his good, it may be + multiplied unto him, and that he may feel it is good for him to be + afflicted. Pray, therefore, that he may be purged by this tribulation, and + that like those who were placed in the furnace, nine times heated, he may + come out without a hair of his head singed—unhurt and rejoicing, + ready again to fight the good fight, with much shouting, the rattling of + chariots, and the noise of triumph and victory.' + </p> + <p> + “During the perusal of this all eyes were turned upon Solomon, whose face + was now perfectly seraphic, and his soul wrapped up into the ninth heaven. + Of those around him it was quite clear that he was altogether incognizant. + His eyelids were down as before, but the smile on his face now was a + perfect glory; it was unbroken, and the upturning of the eyes proceeded + from, and could be, nothing less than a glimpse of that happiness which no + other eye ever had seen but that of Solomon's at that moment, and which, + it was equally certain, no heart but his could conceive. When it was + concluded the psalm commenced, and if there had been any doubt before, + there could be none now that his triumph was great, and the victory over + the world and his enemies obtained, whilst a fresh accession of grace was + added to that which had been vouchsafed him before. He led the psalm now + with a fervor of spirit and fulness of lung which had never been heard in + the chapel before; nay, he moved both head and foot to the time, as if he + had only to wish it, and he could ascend at once to heaven. This, indeed, + was a victory, this was a moment of rejoicing—here was the Christian + soldier rattling home in his triumphal chariot, to the sound of the + trumpet, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer. + </p> + <p> + “When the service was over he shook hands with as many of his friends as + he could, exclaiming, 'oh, what a blessed day has this been to me! what a + time of rejoicing; indeed it is good to be tried. Truly the sources of + comfort were opened to my soul on this day more abundantly than I dared to + hope for—I feel my privileges more strongly, and more of the new man + within me—I am sustained and comforted, and feel that it was good + for me to be here this day—I did not hope for this, but it was + graciously granted to me, notwithstanding. How good, how heavenly a thing + it is to be called upon to suffer, especially when we are able to do so in + faith and obedience. May He be praised for all. Amen! Amen!' + </p> + <p> + “Now, my dear friend, who will say, after all this, that the stage is the + great school for actors? who ever saw on the boards of a theatre a more + finished performance than that of Solomon M'Slime? It so happens that I am + acquainted with the whole circumstances, and, consequently, can fully + appreciate his talents. In the mean time I am paying a visit of business + to M'Clutchy to-morrow, that I may have an opportunity of a nearer + inspection into his character. He is said to be an able, deep, vindictive, + and rapacious man—cowardly, but cruel—treacherous, but + plausible; and without the slightest remorse of conscience to restrain him + from the accomplishment of any purpose, no matter how flagitious. And, + yet, the cure for all this, in the eyes of his own party, is his boundless + loyalty, and his thorough Protestantism. No wonder the church should be no + longer useful or respected when she is supported only by such Protestants + as Valentine M'Clutchy, and his class.” + </p> + <p> + “Thursday.—At a little after ten, I waited upon this, famous agent + to the Castle Cumber property, and found him in his office, looking over + an account-book with his son. He had a bad face—black, heavy, + over-hanging eyebrows, and an upper lip that quivers and gets pale when + engaged even in earnest conversation—his forehead is low, but broad + and massive, indicating the minor accessories of intellect, together with + great acuteness and cunning; altogether he had the head and face of a + felon. For purposes which you shall know hereafter, I declined presenting + Lord Cumber's letter of introduction, which I calculated would put the + fellow on his guard, deeming it, more prudent to introduce myself as a + stranger, anxious, if I could do so conveniently, to settle somewhere in + the neighborhood. The son's back was towards me when I entered, and until + he had finished the account at which he had been engaged, which he did by + a good deal of altering and erasing, he did not deem, it worth while to + look about him even at the entrance of a stranger. Having heard me express + my intention of looking for a residence in the vicinity, he did me the + honor of one of the most comical stares I ever saw. He is a tall fellow, + about six feet, his shoulders are narrow, but round as the curve of a pot—his + neck is, at least, eighteen inches in length, on the top of which stands a + head, somewhat of a three-cornered shape, like a country barber's wig + block, only not so intelligent looking. His nose is short, and turned up a + little at the top—his squint is awful, but then, it is peculiar to + himself; for his eyes, instead of looking around them as such eyes do, + appear to keep a jealous and vigilant watch of each other across his nose—his + chin is short and retreating, and from, his wide mouth project two + immeasurable buck teeth, that lie together like a'pair of tiles upon a dog + kennel. Heavens! that a beautiful girl—as it is said everywhere Miss + M'Loughlin is, and until now proverbially correct in her conduct and + deportment—should admit such a misshapen kraken as this into her + apartment, and at night, too! After having stared at me for some time with + a great deal of cunning and a great deal of folly in his countenance, he + again began to pore over the blank pages of his book, as if he had been + working out some difficult calculation. + </p> + <p> + “'And,' said the father, after we had been chatting for some time, 'have + you seen anything in the neighborhood that you think would suit you?' + </p> + <p> + “'I am too much of a stranger, sir,' I replied, 'to be able to answer in + the affirmative—but I admire the country and the scenery, both of + which in this immediate neighborhood, are extremely beautiful and + interesting.' + </p> + <p> + “'They are so,' he replied, 'and the country is a fine one, certainly.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ay,' said Phil, 'only for these cursed Papists.' + </p> + <p> + “As he spoke he looked at me very significantly, and drew three of his + yellow fingers across his chin, but added nothing more. This, by the way, + he did half a dozen times, and, on mentioning the circumstance, it has + been suggested to me that it must have been the sign by which one + Orangeman makes himself known to another. + </p> + <p> + “'The Papists,' I replied, 'do not enter into any objection of mine + against a residence in the neighborhood; but, as you, Mr. M'Clutchy, as + agent of this fine property, must be well acquainted with the state and + circumstances of the country, you would really confer a favor by enabling + me, as a stranger, to form correct impressions of the place and people.' + </p> + <p> + “'Then,' said he, 'in the first place allow me to ask what are your + politics? As an Englishman, which I perceive you are by your accent—I + take it for granted that you are a Protestant.' + </p> + <p> + “'I am a Protestant, certainly,' I replied, 'and a Church of England one.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ay, but that's not enough,' said Phil, 'that won't do, my good sir; d—n + my honor if it would be worth a fig in this country.' + </p> + <p> + “'I am very ignorant of Irish politics, I admit,' said I, 'but, I trust, I + am in good hands for the receipt of sound information on the subject.' + </p> + <p> + “'No, no,' continued Phil, 'that's nothing—to be a mere Church of + England man, or a Church of Ireland man either, would never do here, I + tell you. Upon my honor, but that's doctrine.' + </p> + <p> + “'Well, but what would do,' I inquired; for I certainly felt a good deal + of curiosity to know what he was coming to. + </p> + <p> + “'The great principle here,' said the son, 'is to hate and keep down the + Papists, and you can't do that properly unless you're an Orangeman. Hate + and keep down the Papists, that's the true religion, I pledge you my honor + and reputation it is.' + </p> + <p> + “'You put the principle too strong, and rather naked, Phil,' observed the + father; 'but the truth is, sir,' he added, turning to me, 'that you may + perceive that fine spirit of Protestant enthusiasm in the young man, which + is just now so much wanted in, and so beneficial to the country and the + government. We must, sir, make allowance for this in the high-spirited and + young, and ardent; but, still, after deducting a little for zeal and + enthusiasm, he has expressed nothing but truth—with the exception, + indeed, that we are not bound to hate them, Phil; on the contrary, we are + bound to love our enemies.' + </p> + <p> + “'Beggingyour pardon, father, I say we are bound to hate them.' + </p> + <p> + “'Why, so, sir, may I ask,' said I. + </p> + <p> + “'Why so—why because—because—they—because as—aren't + they Papists, and is not that sufficient—and, again, here's another + reason still stronger, aren't we Orangemen? Now, sir, did you, or any one, + even hear of such a thing as a good, sound Orangeman loving a Papist—a + bloody Papist. My word and honor, but that's good!' + </p> + <p> + “'The truth is,' said the father, 'that the turbulence of their principles + has the country almost ripe for insurrection. I have myself received above + half a dozen notices, and my son there, as many; some threatening life, + others property, and I suppose the result will be, that I must reside for + safety in the metropolis. My house is this moment in a state of barricade—look + at my windows, literally checkered with stancheon bars—and as for + arms, let me see, we have six blunderbusses, eight cases of pistols, four + muskets, two carbines, with a variety of side arms, amounting to a couple + of dozen. Such, sir, is the state of the country, owing, certainly, as my + son says, to the spirit of Popery, and to the fact of my discharging my + duty toward Lord Cumber with fidelity and firmness! + </p> + <p> + “'In that case,' I observed, 'there is little to induce any man possessing + some property to reside here.' + </p> + <p> + “'Certainly nothing,' he replied, 'but a great many inducements to get out + of it.' + </p> + <p> + “'Does Lord Cumber ever visit his property here?' I asked. + </p> + <p> + “'He has too much sense,' returned the agent; 'but now that parliament is + dissolved, he will come over to the Election. We must return either him or + his brother the Hon. Dick Topertoe, who, I understand, has no fixed + principles whatsoever.' + </p> + <p> + “'But why return such a man? Why not put up and support one of your own + way of thinking?' + </p> + <p> + “'Why, because in the first place, we must keep out Hartley, who is a + liberal, and also an advocate for emancipating Popery; and, in the second, + if it be bad to have no principles, like Topertoe, it is worse to have bad + ones like Hartley. He'll do to stop a gap until we get better, and then + unless he comes round, we'll send him adrift.' + </p> + <p> + “'Is he in Ireland? I mean does he reside in the country?' + </p> + <p> + “'Not he, sir; it seems he's a wayward devil, very different from the rest + of the family—and with none of the dash and spirit of the Topertoe + blood in him.' + </p> + <p> + “'In that case, he will be no great loss; but Mr. M'Clutchy, + notwithstanding all you have said I am so much charmed with the beauty of + the country, that I would gladly settle in the neighborhood, if I could + procure a suitable residence, together with a good large farm, which I + would rent. Is there anything in that way vacant on the estate?' + </p> + <p> + “'At present, sir, nothing; but it is possible there may be, and if you + should remain in the country, I shall feel great pleasure in acquainting + you.' + </p> + <p> + “'Because I was told,' I continued, 'that there are two large farms, + either of which would suit me admirably; but I dare say I have been + misinformed. I allude to Mr. M'Loughlin's and Herman's holdings, which I + understand are out of lease.' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes,' said he, sighing, 'I am sorry for those men; but the truth is, my + good sir, that in this affair I am not a free agent. Lord Cumber, in + consequence of some very accurate information that reached him, has + determined to put them out of their holdings, now that their leases have + expired. I am, you know, but his agent, and cannot set up my will against + his.' + </p> + <p> + “'But could you not take their part?—could you not remonstrate with + him, and set him right, rather than see injustice done to innocent men?' + </p> + <p> + “'You surely cannot imagine, sir, that I have not done so. Earnestly, + indeed, have I begged of him to reconsider his orders, and to withdraw + them; but like all the Topertoes, he is as obstinate as a mule. The + consequence is, however, that whilst the whole blame of the transaction is + really his, the odium will fall upon me, as it always does.' + </p> + <p> + “Here Phil, the son, who had been for the last few minutes paring away the + pen with his knife, gave a sudden yelp, not unlike what a hound would + utter when he gets an unexpected cut of the whip. It was certainly meant + for a laugh, as I could perceive by the frightful grin which drew back his + lips I from his yellow projecting tusks, as his face appeared to me in the + looking-glass—a fact which he seemed to forget. + </p> + <p> + “'Then, Mr. M'Clutchy, the farms of these men, are they disposed of?' + </p> + <p> + “'They are disposed of; and, indeed, in any event, I could not, in justice + to the landlord's interests, receive the offers which M'Loughlin and + Harman made me. My son here, who, as under agent feels it necessary to + reside on the property, and who is about to take unto himself a wife + besides, has made me a very liberal offer for M'Loughlin's holding—one, + indeed, which I did not feel myself at liberty to refuse. Mr. M'Slime, our + respected law agent, I also considered a very proper tenant for Harman's; + and that matter is also closed—by which means I secured two + respectable, safe, and unobjectionable tenants, on whose votes, at all + events, we can reckon, which was more than we could do with the other two—both + of whom had expressed their determination to vote in favor of Hartley.' + </p> + <p> + “'What are the religious opinions of those men, Mr. M'Clutchy?' + </p> + <p> + “'M'Loughlin is a Papist—' + </p> + <p> + “'But Harman is worse,' interrupted Phil; 'for he's a Protestant, and no + Orangeman.' + </p> + <p> + “'I thought,' I replied, 'that nothing could be so bad as a Papist, much + less worse.' + </p> + <p> + “'Oh yes,' said Phil, 'that's worse; because one always knows that a + Papist's a Papist—but when you find a Protestant who is not an + Orangeman, on my sacred honor, you don't know what to make of him. The + Papists are all cowards, too.' + </p> + <p> + “'Then,' said I, 'you have the less difficulty in keeping them down.' + </p> + <p> + “'Upon my soul and honor, sir, you don't know how a naked Papist will run + from a gun and bayonet. I have often seen it.' + </p> + <p> + “At this moment a tap came to the door, and a servant man, in Orange + livery, announced a gentleman to see Mr. Philip M'Clutchy. I rose to take + my departure; but Phil insisted I should stop. + </p> + <p> + “'Don't go, sir,' said he; 'I have something to propose to you by and by.' + I accordingly took my seat. + </p> + <p> + “When the gentleman entered, he looked about, and selecting Phil, bowed to + him, and then to us. + </p> + <p> + “'Ah, Mr. Hartley! how do you do?' said Val, shaking hands with him; 'and + how is your cousin, whom we hope to have the pleasure of beating soon?—ha, + ha, ha. Take a seat.' + </p> + <p> + “'Thank you,' said the other; 'but the fact is, that time's just now + precious, and I wish to have a few words with Mr. Philip here.' + </p> + <p> + “'What is it, Hartley? How are you, Hartley? I'm glad to see you.' + </p> + <p> + “'Quite well, Phil; but if you have no objection, I would rather speak to + you in another room. It's a matter of some importance, and of some + delicacy, too.' + </p> + <p> + “'Oh, curse the delicacy, man; out with it.' + </p> + <p> + “'I really cannot, Phil, unless by ourselves.' + </p> + <p> + “They both then withdrew to the back parlor, where, after a period of + about ten minutes, Phil came rushing in with a face on him, and in a state + of trepidation utterly indescribable; Hartley, on the other hand, cool and + serious, following him. + </p> + <p> + “'Phil,' said he, 'think of what you are about to do. Don't exclude + yourself hereafter from the rank and privileges of a gentleman. Pause, if + you respect yourself, and regard your reputation as a man of courage.' + </p> + <p> + “'D——d fine talk in you—who—who's a fire-eater, + Hartley. What do you think, father—?' Hartley put, or rather + attempted to put his hand across his mouth, to prevent his cowardly and + degrading communication; but in vain. 'What do you think, father,' he + continued, 'but there's that cowardly scoundrel, young M'Loughlin, has + sent me a challenge? Isn't the country come to a pretty pass, when a + Papist durst do such a thing?' + </p> + <p> + “'Why not a Papist?' said Hartley. 'Has not a Papist flesh, and blood, and + bones, like another man? Is a Papist to be insensible to insult? Is he to + sit down tamely and meanly under disgrace and injury? Has he no soul to + feel the dignity of just resentment? Is he not to defend his sister, when + her character has been basely and treacherously ruined? Is he to see her + stretched on her death-bed, by your villainy, and not to avenge her? By + heavens, if, under the circumstances of the provocation which you gave + him, and his whole family, he would be as mean and cowardly a poltroon as + I find you to be—if he suffered—' + </p> + <p> + “'Do you call me a poltroon?' said Phil, so shivering and pale, that his + voice betrayed his cowardice. + </p> + <p> + “'Yes,' said the other, 'as arrant a poltroon as ever I met. I tell you, + you must either fight him, or publish a statement of your own unparalleled + disgrace. Don't think you shall get out of it.' + </p> + <p> + “'I tell you, sir,' said Val, 'that he shall not fight him. I would not + suffer a son of mine to put himself on a level with such a person as young + M'Loughlin.' + </p> + <p> + “'On a level with him he never will be, for no earthly advantage could + raise him to it; but pray, Mr. M'Clutchy, who are you?' + </p> + <p> + “'Val's brow fell, and his lip paled and quivered, as the fine young + fellow looked him steadily in the face. + </p> + <p> + “'Never mind him, father,' said Phil 'you know he's a fire-eater.' + </p> + <p> + “'There is no use in altercations of this sort,' replied Val, calmly. 'As + for young M'Loughlin, or old M'Loughlin, if they think themselves injured, + they have the laws of the land to appeal to for redress. As for us, we + will fight them with other weapons besides pistols and firearms.' + </p> + <p> + “'D—— my honor,' said, Phil, 'if I'd stoop to fight any + Papist. Aren't they all rebels? And what gentleman would fight a rebel?' + </p> + <p> + “'Honor!' exclaimed Hartley; 'don't profane that sacred word—I can + have no more patience with such a craven-hearted rascal, who could stoop + to such base revenge against the unsullied reputation of a virtuous and + admirable girl, because she spurned your scoundrelly addresses.' + </p> + <p> + “'He never paid his addresses to her,' said Val;—'never.' + </p> + <p> + “'No I didn't,' said Phil. 'At any rate I never had any notion of marrying + her.' + </p> + <p> + “'You are a dastardly liar, sir,' responded Hartley. 'You know you had. + How can your father and you look each other in the face, when you say so?' + </p> + <p> + “'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater: so you may say what you like.' + </p> + <p> + “'Didn't your father, in your name, propose for her upon some former + occasion, in the fair of Castle Cumber, and he remembers the answer he + got.' + </p> + <p> + “'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater; that's all I have to say to + you.' + </p> + <p> + “'And now, having ruined her reputation by a base and cowardly plot + concocted with a wicked old woman, who would blast the whole family if she + could, because M'Loughlin transported her felon son; you, now, like a + paltry clown as you are, skulk out of the consequences of your treachery, + and refuse to give satisfaction for the diabolical injury you have + inflicted on the whole family.' + </p> + <p> + “'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater.' + </p> + <p> + “'You forget,' said Val, 'that I am a magistrate, and what the + consequences may be to yourself for carrying a hostile message.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ah,' said Hartley, 'you are a magistrate, and shame on the government + that can stoop to the degradation of raising such rascals as you are to + become dispensers of justice; it is you and the like of you, that are a + curse to the country. As for you, Phil M'Clutchy, I now know, and always + suspected, the stuff you are made of. You are a disgrace to the very + Orangemen you associate with; for they are, in general, brave fellows, + although too often cruel and oppressive when hunted on and stimulated by + such as you and your rascally upstart of a father.' + </p> + <p> + “'Go on,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.' + </p> + <p> + “'I now leave you both,' continued the young Hotspur, with a blazing eye + and flushed cheek, 'with the greatest portion of scorn and contempt which + one man can bestow upon another.' + </p> + <p> + “'Go off,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.' + </p> + <p> + “'Phil,' said the father, 'send for M'Murt, and let him get the ejectments + from M'Slime—we shall not, at all events, be insulted and bearded by + Papists, or their emissaries, so long as I can clear one of them off the + estate.' + </p> + <p> + “'But, good God, Mr. M'Clutchy, surely these other Papists you speak of, + have not participated in the offences, if such they are, of M'Loughlin and + Harman.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ay, but they're all of the same kidney,' said Phil; 'they hate us + because we keep them down.' + </p> + <p> + “'And what can be more natural than that?' I observed; 'just reverse the + matter—suppose they were in your place, and kept you down, would you + love them for it?' + </p> + <p> + “'Why, what kind of talk is that,' said Phil, 'they keep us down! Are they + not rebels?' + </p> + <p> + “'You observed,' I replied, getting tired of this sickening and senseless + bigotry, 'that you wished to make a proposal of some kind to me before I + went.' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes,' he replied, 'I wished, if it be a thing that you remain in the + neighborhood, to propose that you should become an Orangeman, and join my + father's lodge. You say you want a farm on the estate; now, if you do, + take my advice and become an Orangeman; you will then have a stronger + claim, for my father always gives them the preference.' + </p> + <p> + “'By Lord Cumber's desire, Phil; but I shall be very happy, indeed, sir,' + proceeded Val, 'that is, provided you get an introduction—for, at + present, you will pardon me for saying we are strangers.' + </p> + <p> + “'I should first wish to witness the proceedings of an Orange Lodge,' I + said, 'but I suppose that, of course, is impossible, unless to the + initiated.' + </p> + <p> + “'Certainly, of course,' said M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + “'But, father,' said Phil, 'couldn't we admit him after the business of + the lodge is concluded.' + </p> + <p> + “'It is not often done,' replied the father; 'but it sometimes is—however, + we shall have the pleasure, Mr. Easel—(I forgot to say that I had + sent in my card, so that he knew my name),—we shall have the + pleasure of a better acquaintance, I trust.' + </p> + <p> + “'I tell you what,' said Phil, leaping off his chair, 'd—-n my + honor, but I was wrong to let young Hartley go without a thrashing. The + cowardly scoundrel was exceedingly insulting.' + </p> + <p> + “'No, no, Phil,' said the father; 'you acted with admirable coolness and + prudence.' + </p> + <p> + “'I tell you I ought to have kicked the rascal out,' said Phil, getting + into a passion; 'I'll follow him and teach the impudent vagabond a lesson + he wants.' + </p> + <p> + “He seized his hat, and buttoned up his coat, as if for combat, whilst he + spoke. + </p> + <p> + “'Phil, be quiet,' said his father, rising up and putting his arms about + him; 'be quiet now. There will be no taming him down, if his spirit gets + up,' said Val, addressing me; 'for all our sakes, Phil, keep quiet and sit + down. Good heaven! the strength of him! Phil, keep quiet, I say, you + shan't go after him.' + </p> + <p> + “'Let me go,' shouted the other; 'let me go, I say. I will smash him to + atoms. Upon my honor and reputation, he shall not escape me this way—I'll + send him home a hoop—a triangle—a zoologist. I'll beat him + into mustard, the cowardly scoundrel! And only you were a magistrate, + father, I would have done it before you. Let me go, I say—the + M'Clutchy blood is up in me! Father, you're a scoundrel if you hold me! + You know what a lion I am—what a raging lion, when roused. Hands + off, M'Clutchy, I say, when you know I'm a thunderbolt.' + </p> + <p> + “The tugging and pulling that took place here between the father and son + were extraordinary, and I could not in common decency decline assisting + the latter to hold him in. I consequently lent him my aid seriously; but + this only made things worse:—the more he was held, the more violent + and outrageous he became. He foamed at the mouth—stormed—swore—and + tore about with such vehemence, that I really began to think the fellow + was a dull flint, which produced, fire slowly, but that there was fire in + him. The struggle still proceeded, and we pulled and dragged each other + through every part of the house:—chairs, and tables, and + office-stools were all overturned—and Phil's cry was still for war. + </p> + <p> + “It's all to no purpose,' he shouted—'I'll not leave an unbroken + bone in that scoundrel Hartley's body.' + </p> + <p> + “'I know you wouldn't, if you got at him,' said Val. 'He would certainly + be the death of him,' he added aside tome; 'he would give him some fatal + blow, and that's what I'm afraid of.' + </p> + <p> + “Phil was now perfectly furious—in fact he resembled a drunken man, + and might have passed for such. + </p> + <p> + “'Hartley, you scoundrel, where are you, till I make mummy of you?' he + shouted. + </p> + <p> + “'Here I am,' replied Hartley, entering' the room, walking up to him, and + looking him sternly in the face—'here I am—what's your will + with me?' + </p> + <p> + “So comic a paralysis was, perhaps, never witnessed. Phil stood + motionless, helpless, speechless. The white cowardly froth rose to his + lips, his color became ashy, his jaw fell, he shook, shrunk into himself, + and gasped for breath—his eyes became hollow, his squint deepened, + and such was his utter prostration of strength, that his very tongue + lolled out with weakness, like that of a newly dropped calf, when + attempting to stand for the first time. At length he got out— + </p> + <p> + “'Hold! I believe, I'll restrain myself; but only my father's a magistrate———' + </p> + <p> + “'Your father's a scoundrel, and you are another,' said Hartley; 'and + here's my respect for you.' + </p> + <p> + “Whilst speaking, he caught Phil by the nose with one hand, and also by + the collar of his coat with the other, and in this position led him, in a + most comical way, round the room, after which he turned him about, and + inflicted a few vigorous kicks upon a part of him which must be nameless. + </p> + <p> + “'I am not sorry,' said he, 'that I forgot my note-case in the other room, + as it has given me an opportunity of taming a raging lion so easily.' + </p> + <p> + “'Goon,' said Phil, whose language, as well as valor, was fairly + exhausted, 'it's well you're a fire-eater, and my father a magistrate, or + by my honor, I'd know how to deal with you.' + </p> + <p> + “Such, my dear Spinageberd, is a domestic sketch of the Agent and Under + Agent of that exceedingly sapient nobleman, Lord Cumber; and if ever, + excellent landlord that he is, he should by any possible chance come to + see these lines, perhaps he might be disposed to think that an occasional + peep at his own property, and an examination into the principles upon + which it is managed, might open to him a new field of action worth + cultivating, even as an experiment not likely to end in any injurious + result to either him or it. In a day or two I shall call upon Mr. Solomon + M'Slime, with whom I am anxious to have a conversation, as, indeed, I am + with the leading characters on the property. You may accordingly expect an + occasional batch of observations from me, made upon the spot, and fresh + from my interviews with the individuals to whom they relate.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII.—A Moral Survey, or a Wise Man led by a Fool + </h2> + <p> + —Marks of Unjust Agency—Reflections thereon—A Mountain + Water-Spout, and Rising of a Torrent—The Insane Mother over the + Graves of her Family—Raymond's Humanity—His Rescue from Death. + </p> + <p> + “Friday, * * * + </p> + <p> + “I have amused myself—you will see how appropriate the word is by + and by—since my last communication, in going over the whole Castle + Cumber estate, and noting down the traces which this irresponsible and + rapacious oppressor, aided by his constables, bailiffs, and blood-hounds, + have left behind them. When I describe the guide into whose hands I have + committed myself, I am inclined to think you will not feel much disposed + to compliment me on my discretion;—the aforesaid guide being no + other than a young fellow, named <i>Raymond-na-Hattha</i>, which means, + they tell me, Raymond of the Hats—a sobriquet very properly bestowed + on him in consequence of a habit he has of always wearing three or four + hats at a time, one within the other—a circumstance which, joined to + his extraordinary natural height and great strength, gives him absolutely + a gigantic appearance. This Raymond is the fool of the parish; but in + selecting him for my conductor, I acted under the advice of those who knew + him better than I could. There is not, in fact, a field or farm-house, or + a cottage, within a circumference of miles, which he does not know, and + where he is not also known. He has ever since his childhood evinced a most + extraordinary fancy for game cocks—an attachment not at all + surprising, when it is known that not only was his father, Morgan Monahan, + the most celebrated breeder and handler of that courageous bird—but + his mother, Poll Doolin—married women here frequently preserve, or + are called by, their maiden names through life—who learned it from + her husband, was equally famous for this very feminine accomplishment. + Poor Raymond, notwithstanding his privation, is, however, exceedingly + shrewd in many things, especially where he can make himself understood. As + he speaks, however, in unconnected sentences, in which there is put forth + no more than one phase of the subject he alludes to, or the idea he + entertains, it is unquestionably not an easy task to understand him + without an interpreter. He is singularly fond of children—very + benevolent—and consequently feels a degree of hatred and horror at + anything in the shape of cruelty or oppression, almost beyond belief, in a + person deprived of reason. This morning he was with me by appointment, + about half-past nine, and after getting his breakfast——but no + matter—the manipulation he exhibited would have been death to a + dyspeptic patient, from sheer envy—we sallied forth to trace this + man, M'Clutchy, by the awful marks of ruin, and tyranny, and persecution; + for these words convey the principles of what he hath left, and is leaving + behind him. + </p> + <p> + “'Now, Raymond,' said I, 'as you know the country well, I shall be guided + by you. I wish to see a place called Drum Dhu. Can you conduct me there?' + </p> + <p> + “'Ay!' he replied with surprise; 'Why! Sure there's scarcely anybody there + now. When we go on farther, we may look up, but we'll see no smoke, as + there used to be. 'Twas there young Torly Regan died on that day—an' + her, poor Mary—but they're all gone from her—and Hugh the + eldest is in England or America—but him—the youngest—he'll + never waken—and what will the poor mother do for his white head now + that she hasn't it to look at? No, he wouldn't waken, although I brought + him the cock.' + </p> + <p> + “'Of whom are you speaking now, Raymond?' + </p> + <p> + “'I'll tell you two things that's the same,' he replied; 'and I'll tell + you the man that has them both.' + </p> + <p> + “'Let me hear, Raymond.' + </p> + <p> + “'The devil's blessin' and God's curse;—sure they're the same—ha, + ha—there now—that's one. You didn't know that—no, no: + you didn't.' + </p> + <p> + “'And who is it that has them, Raymond?' + </p> + <p> + “'M'Clutchy—Val the Vulture; sure 'twas he did that all, and is + doin' it still. Poor Mary!—Brian will never waken;—she'll + never see his eyes again, 'tany rate—nor his white head—oh! + his white head! God ought to kill Val, and I wondher he doesn't.' + </p> + <p> + “'Raymond, my good friend,' said I, 'if you travel at this rate, I must + give up the journey altogether.' + </p> + <p> + “The fact is, that when excited, as he was now by the topic in question, + he gets into what is termed a sling trot, which carries him on at about + six miles an hour, without ever feeling fatigued. He immediately slackened + his pace, and looked towards me, with a consciousness of having forgotten + himself and acted wrongly. + </p> + <p> + “'Well, no,' said he, 'I won't; but sure I hate him.' + </p> + <p> + “'Hate whom?' + </p> + <p> + “'M'Clutchy—and that was it; for I always do it; but I won't again, + for you couldn't keep up wid me if I spoke about him.' + </p> + <p> + “We then turned towards the mountains; and as we went along, the desolate + impresses of the evil agent began here and there to become visible. On the + road-side there were the humble traces of two or three cabins, whose + little hearths had been extinguished, and whose walls were levelled to the + earth. The black fungus, the burdock, the nettle, and all those offensive + weeds that follow in the train of oppression and ruin were here; and as + the dreary wind stirred them into sluggish motion, and piped its + melancholy wail through these desolate little mounds, I could not help + asking myself—if those who do these things ever think that there is + a reckoning in after life, where power, and insolence, and wealth + misapplied, and rancor, and pride, and rapacity, and persecution, and + revenge, and sensuality, and gluttony, will be placed face to face with + those humble beings, on whose rights and privileges of simple existence + they have trampled with such a selfish and exterminating tread. A host of + thoughts and reflections began to crowd upon my mind; but the subject was + too painful—and after avoiding it as well as I could, we proceeded + on our little tour of observation. + </p> + <p> + “How easy it is for the commonest observer to mark even the striking + characters that are impressed on the physical features of an estate which + is managed by care and kindness—where general happiness and + principles of active industry are diffused through the people? And, on the + other hand, do not all the depressing symbols of neglect and mismanagement + present equally obvious exponents of their operation, upon properties like + this of Castle Cumber? On this property, it is not every tenant that is + allowed to have an interest in the soil at all, since the accession of + M'Clutchy. He has succeeded in inducing the head landlord to decline + granting leases to any but those who are his political supporters—that + is, who will vote for him or his nominee at an election; or, in other + words, who will enable him to sell both their political privileges and his + own, to gratify his cupidity or ambition, without conferring a single + advantage upon themselves. From those, therefore, who have too much + honesty to prostitute their votes to his corrupt and selfish negotiations + with power, leases are withheld, in order that they may, with more + becoming and plausible oppression, be removed from the property, and the + staunch political supporter brought in in their stead. This may be all + very good policy, but it is certainly bad humanity, and worse religion, In + fact, it is the practice of that cruel dogma, which prompts us to + sacrifice the principles of others to our own, and to deprive them of the + very privilege which we ourselves claim—that of acting according to + our conscientious impressions. 'Do unto others,' says Mr. M'Clutchy and + his class, as you would not wish that others should do unto you.' How + beautifully here is the practice of the loud and headlong supporter of the + Protestant Church, and its political ascendancy, made to harmonize with + the principles of that neglected thing called the Gospel? In fact as we + went along, it was easy to mark, on the houses and farmsteads about us, + the injustice of making this heartless distinction. The man who felt + himself secure and fixed by a vested right in the possession of his + tenement, had heart and motive to work and improve it, undepressed by the + consciousness that his improvements to-day might be trafficked on by a + wicked and unjust agent tomorrow. He knows, that in developing all the + advantages and good qualities of the soil, he is not only discharging an + important duty to himself and his landlord, but also to his children's + children after him; and the result is, that the comfort, contentment, and + self-respect which he gains by the consciousness of his security, are + evident at a glance upon himself, his house, and his holding. On the other + hand, reverse this picture, and what is the consequence? Just what is here + visible. There is a man who may be sent adrift on the shortest notice, + unless he is base enough to trade upon his principles and vote against his + conscience. What interest has he in the soil, or in the prosperity of his + landlord? If he make improvements this year, he may see the landlord + derive all the advantages of them the next; or, what is quite as likely, + he may know that some Valentine M'Clutchy may put them in his own pocket, + and keep the landlord in the dark regarding the whole transaction. What a + bounty on dishonesty and knavery in an agent is this? How unjust to the + interest of the tenant, in the first place—in the next to that of + the landlord—and, finally, how destructive to the very nature and + properties of the soil itself, which rapidly degenerates by bad and + negligent culture, and. consequently becomes impoverished and diminished + in value. All this was evident as we went along. Here was warmth, and + wealth, and independence staring us in the face; there was negligence, + desponding struggle, and decline, conscious, as it were, of their unseemly + appearance, and anxious, one would think, to shrink away from the + searching eye of observation. + </p> + <p> + “'But here again, Raymond; what have we here? There is a fine looking + farmhouse, evidently untenanted. How is that?' + </p> + <p> + “'Ha, ha,' replied Raymond with a bitter smile, 'ha, ha! Let them take it, + and see what Captain Whiteboy will do? He has the possession—ha, ha—an' + who'll get him to give it up? Who dare take that, or any of Captain + Whiteboy's farms? But sure it's not, much—only a coal, a rushlight, + and a prod of a pike or a baynet—but I know who ought to have them.' + </p> + <p> + “The house in question was considerably dilapidated. Its doors were not + visible, and its windows had all been shivered. Its smokeless chimneys, + its cold and desolate appearance, together with the still more ruinous + condition of the outhouses, added to the utter silence which prevailed + about it, and the absence of every symptom of life and motion—all + told a tale which has left many a bloody moral to the country. The slaps, + gates, and enclosures were down—the hedges broken or cut away—the + fences trampled on and levelled to the earth—and nothing seemed to + thrive—for the garden was overrun with them—but the rank weeds + already alluded to, as those which love to trace the footsteps of ruin and + desolation, in order to show, as it were, what they leave behind them. As + we advanced, other and more startling proofs of M'Clutchy came in our way—proofs + which did not consist of ruined houses, desolate villages, or + roofless-cottages—but of those unfortunate persons, whose simple + circle of domestic life—whose little cares, and struggles, and + sorrows, and affections, formed the whole round of their humble existence, + and its enjoyments, as given them by Almighty God himself. All these, + however, like the feelings and affections of the manacled slave, were as + completely overlooked by those who turned them adrift, as if in possessing + such feelings, they had invaded a right which belonged only to their + betters, and which,the same betters, by the way, seldom exercise either in + such strength or purity as those whom they despise and oppress. Aged men + we met, bent, with years, and weighed down still more by that houseless + sorrow, which is found accompanying them along the highways of life:—through + its rugged solitudes and its dreariest paths—in the storm and in the + tempest—wherever they go—in want, nakedness, and destitution—still + at their side is that houseless sorrow—pouring into their memories + and their hearts the conviction, which is most terrible to old age, that + it has no home here but the grave—no pillow on which to forget its + cares but the dust. The sight of these wretched old men, turned out from, + the little holdings that sheltered their helplessness, to beg a morsel, + through utter charity, in the decrepitude of life, was enough to make a + man wish that he had never been born to witness such a wanton abuse of + that power which was entrusted to man for the purpose of diffusing + happiness instead of misery. All these were known to Raymond, who, as far + as he could, gave me their brief and unfortunate history. That which + showed us, however, the heartless evils of the-clearance system in its + immediate operation upon the poorer classes, was the groups of squalid + females who traversed the country, accompanied by their pale and sickly + looking children, all in a state of mendicancy, and wofully destitute of + clothing. The system in this case being to deny their husbands employment + upon the property, in order to drive them, by the strong scourge of + necessity, off it, the poor men were compelled to seek it elsewhere, + whilst their sorrowing and heart-broken families were fain to remain and + beg a morsel from those who were best acquainted with the history of their + expulsion, and who, consequently, could yield to them and their little + ones a more cordial and liberal sympathy. After thus witnessing the + consequences of bad management, and worse feeling, in the shape of houses + desolate, villages levelled, farms waste, old age homeless, and feeble + mothers tottering under their weaker children—after witnessing, I + say, all this, we came to the village called Drum Dhu, being one of those + out of which these unhappy creatures were so mercilessly driven. + </p> + <p> + “A village of this description is, to say the least of it, no credit to + the landed proprietors of any country. It is the necessary result of a bad + system. But we know that if the landlord paid the attention which he ought + to pay, to both the rights and duties of his property, a bad system could + never be established upon it. I am far from saying, indeed, my dear + Spinageberd, there are not cases in which the landlord finds himself in + circumstances of great difficulty. Bad, unprincipled, vindictive, and idle + tenants enough there are in this country—as I am given to understand + from those who know it best—plotting scoundrels, who, like tainted + sheep, are not only corrupt themselves, but infect others, whom they bring + along with themselves to their proper destination, the gallows. Enough and + too many of these there are to be found, who are cruel without cause, and + treacherous without provocation; and this is evident, by the criminal + records of the country, from which it is clear that it is not in general + the aggrieved man who takes justice in his own hands, but the idle + profligate I speak of now. Many indeed of all these, it is an act due to + public peace and tranquility to dislodge from any and from every estate; + but at the same time, it is not just that the many innocent should suffer + as well as the guilty few. To return, however, to the landlord. It often + happens, that when portions of his property fall out of lease, he finds it + over-stocked with a swarm of paupers, who are not his tenants at all and + never were—but who in consequence of the vices of sub-letting, have + multiplied in proportion to the rapacity and extortion of middle-men, and + third-men, and fourth-men—and though last, not least, of the + political exigencies of the landlord himself, to serve whose purposes they + were laboriously subdivided off into tattered legions of fraud, + corruption, and perjury. Having, therefore, either connived at, or + encouraged the creation of thess creatures upon his property for corrupt + purposes, is he justified, when such a change in the elective franchise + has occurred as renders them of no political importance to him, in turning + them out of their little holdings, without aid or provision of some sort, + and without reflecting besides, that they are in this, the moment of their + sorest distress, nothing else than the neglected tools and forgotten + victims of his own ambition. Or can he be surprised, after hardening them + into the iniquity of half a dozen elections, that he finds fellows in + their number who would feel no more scruples in putting a bullet into him + from behind a hedge, than they would into a dog? Verily, my dear Simon + Spinageberd, the more I look into the political and civil education which + the people of Ireland have received, I am only surprised that property in + this country rests upon so firm and secure a basis as I find it does. + </p> + <p> + “On arriving at Drum Dhu, the spectacle which presented itself to us was + marked, not merely by the vestiges of inhumanity and bad policy, but by + the wanton insolence of sectarian spirit and bitter party feeling. On some + of the doors had been written with chalk or charcoal, “Clear off—to + hell or Connaught!” “Down with Popery!” “M'Clutchy's cavalry and Ballyhack + wreckers for ever!” In accordance with these offensive principles most of + all the smaller cottages and cabins had been literally wrecked and left + uninhabitable, in the violence of this bad impulse, although at the + present moment they are about to be re-erected, to bear out the hollow + promises that will be necessary for the forthcoming election. The village + was indeed a miserable and frightful scene. There it stood, between thirty + and forty small and humble habitations, from which, with the exception of + about five or six, all the inmates had been dispossessed, without any + consideration for age, sex, poverty, or sickness. Nay, I am assured that a + young man was carried out during the agonies of death, and expired in the + street, under the fury of a stormy and tempestuous day. Of those who + remained, four who are Protestants, and two whom are Catholics, have + promised to vote with M'Clutchy, who is here the great representative of + Lord Cumber and his property. If, indeed, you were now to look upon these + two miserable lines of silent and tenantless walls, most of them unroofed, + and tumbled into heaps of green ruin, that are fast melting out of shape, + for they were mostly composed of mere peat—you would surely say, as + the Eastern Vizier said in the apologue. 'God prosper Mr. Valentine + M'Clutchy!—for so long as Lord Cumber has him for an agent, he will + never want plenty of ruined villages!' My companion muttered many things + to himself, but said nothing intelligible, until he came to one of the + ruins pretty near the centre:— + </p> + <p> + “'Ay,' said he, 'here is the place they said he died—here before the + door—and in there is where he lay during his long sickness. The wet + thatch and the sods is lying there now. Many a time I was with him. Poor + Torley!' + </p> + <p> + “'Of whom do you speak now, Raymond?' I asked. + </p> + <p> + “'Come away,' he said, not noticing my question,—'come till I show + you the other place that the neighbors built privately when he was dying—the + father I mean—ay, and the other wid the white head, him that + wouldn't waken—come.' + </p> + <p> + “I followed him, for truth to tell, I was sick at heart of all that I had + witnessed that morning, and now felt anxious, if I could, to relieve my + imagination of this melancholy imagery and its causes altogether. He went + farther up towards the higher mountains, in rather a slanting direction, + but not immediately into their darkest recesses, and after a walk of about + two miles more, he stopped at the scattered turf walls of what must once + have been a cold, damp, and most comfortless cabin. + </p> + <p> + “'There,' said he, I saw it all; 'twas the blood-hounds. He died, and her + white-headed boy died; him, you know, that wouldn't waken—there is + where they both died; and see here'—there was at this moment a most + revolting expression of ferocious triumph in his eye as he spoke—'see, + here the blood-hound dropped, for the bullet went through him!—Ha, + ha, that's one; the three dead—the three dead! Come now, come, + come.' He then seemed much changed, for he shuddered as he spoke, and + after a little time, much to my astonishment, a spirit of tenderness and + humanity settled on his face, his eyes filled with tears, and he + exclaimed, 'Poor Mary! they're all gone, and she will never see his white + head again; and his eyes won't open any more; no, they're all gone, all + gone: oh! come away!' + </p> + <p> + “I had heard as much of this brutal tragedy as made his allusions barely + intelligible, but on attempting to gain any further information from him, + he relapsed, as he generally did, into his usual abruptness of manner. He + now passed down towards the cultivated country, at a pace which I was once + more obliged to request him to moderate. + </p> + <p> + “'Well,' said he, 'if you don't care, I needn't, for we'll have it—I + know by the roarin' of the river and by the look of the mountains there + above.' + </p> + <p> + “'What shall we have, Raymond?' I inquired. + </p> + <p> + “'No matther,' said he, rather to himself than to me, 'we can cross the + stick.* But I'll show you the place, for I was there at the time, and his + coffin was on the top of his father's. Ha, ha, I liked that, and they all + cried but Mary, and she laughed and sung, and clapped her hands when the + clay was makin' a noise upon them, and then the people cried more. I cried + for him in the little coffin, for I loved him—I wondher God doesn't + kill M'Clutchy—the curse o' God, and the blessin' o' the devil on + him! Ha, ha, there's one now: let him take it.' + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * In mountain rivers a “stick,” or plank, is frequently a + substitute for a bridge. +</pre> + <p> + “We still proceeded at a brisk pace for about a mile and a half, leaving + the dark and savage hills behind us, when Raymond turning about, directed + my attention to the mountains. These were overhung by masses of black + clouds, that were all charged with rain and the elements of a tempest. + From one of these depended a phenomenon which I had never witnessed before—I + mean a water spout, wavering in its black and terrible beauty over this + savage scenery, thus adding its gloomy grandeur to the sublimity of the + thunder-storm, which now deepened, peal after peal, among the mountains. + To such as are unacquainted with mountain scenery, and have never + witnessed an inland water spout, it is only necessary to say, that it + resembles a long inverted cone, that hangs from a bank of clouds whose + blackness is impenetrable. It appears immovable at the upper part, where + it joins the clouds; but, as it gradually tapers to a long and delicate + point, it waves to and fro with a beautiful and gentle motion, which + blends a sense of grace with the very terror it excites. It seldom lasts + more than a few minutes, for, as soon as the clouds are dispersed by the + thunder it disappears so quickly, that, having once taken your eye off it + when it begins to diminish, it is gone before you can catch it again—a + fact which adds something of a wild and supernatural character to its + life-like motion and appearance. The storm in which we saw it, was + altogether confined to the mountains, where it raged for a long time, + evidently pouring down deluges of rain, whilst on the hill side which we + traversed, there was nothing but calmness and sunshine. + </p> + <p> + “'It will be before us,' said Raymond, pointing to a dry torrent bed close + beside us; 'whisht, here it is—-ha, ha, I like that—see it, + see it!' + </p> + <p> + “I looked in the direction of his hand, and was entranced in a kind of + wild and novel delight, by witnessing a large bursting body of water, + something between a dark and yellow hue, tumbling down the bed of the + river, with a roaring noise and impetuosity of which I had never formed + any conception before. From the spot we stood on, up to its formation + among the mountains, the river was literally a furious mountain torrent, + foaming over its very banks, whilst from the same place down to the + cultivated country it was almost dry, with merely an odd pool, connected + here and there by a stream too shallow to cover the round worn stones in + its channel. So rapid, and, indeed dangerous, is the rise of a mountain + flood, that many a life of man and beast have fallen victims to the fatal + speed of its progress. Raymond now bent his steps over to the left, and, + in a few minutes, we entered a graveyard, so closely surrounded by + majestic whitethorns, that it came upon me by surprise. + </p> + <p> + “'Whisht,' said he, 'she's often here—behind this ould chapel. For + 'tis there they are, the two big coffins and the little one—but I + liked the little one best.' + </p> + <p> + “He conducted me to an old mullioned window in the gable, through which a + single glance discovered to me the female of whose insanity, and the + dreadful cause of it, I had before heard. Whilst pointing her out to me, + he laid his hand upon my shoulder, and, heavy as it was, I could feel the + more distinctly by its vibrations that he trembled; and, on looking into + his face I perceived that he had got deadly pale, and that the same spirit + of humanity and compassion, to which I have alluded, had returned to it + once more. There was not reason in his face, to be sure, but there + certainly was an expression there, trembling, and mild, and beautiful, as + is the light of the morning star, before the glory of the sun has unveiled + itself in heaven. To Raymond's mind that early herald had indeed come, but + that was all—to him had never arisen the light of perfect day. + </p> + <p> + “'There she is,' said he, 'look at her, but don't spake.' + </p> + <p> + “I looked at her with deep and melancholy interest. She sat on a broken + tombstone that lay beside the grave of those in whom her whole happiness + in this life had centered. Her dress was wofully neglected, her hair + loose, that is, it escaped from her cap, her white bosom was bare, and her + feet without shoe or stocking. I could easily perceive, that great as her + privations had been, God had now, perhaps in mercy, taken away her + consciousness of them, for she often smiled whilst talking to herself, and + occasionally seemed to feel that fulness of happiness which, whether real + or not, appears so frequently in the insane. At length she stooped down, + and kissed the clay of their graves, exclaiming— + </p> + <p> + “'There is something here that I love; but nobody will tell me what it is—no, + not one. No matter, I know I love something—I know I love somebody—somebody—and + they love me—but now will no one tell me where they are? Wouldn't + Hugh come to me if I called him? but sure I did, and he won't come—and + Torley, too, won't come, and my own poor white-head, even he won't come to + me. But whisht, may be they're asleep; ay, asleep, and ah, sure if ever + any creatures wanted sleep, they do—sleep, darlin's, sleep—I'll + not make a noise to waken one of you—but what's that?' + </p> + <p> + “Here she clasped her hands, and looked with such a gaze of affright and + horror around her, as I never saw on a human face before. + </p> + <p> + “'What's that? It's them, it's them,' she exclaimed—'I hear their + horses' feet, I hear them cursin' and swearin'—but no matther, I'm + not to be frightened. Amn't I Hugh Roe's wife?—Isn't here God on my + side, an' are ye a match for him.—Here—here's my breast, my + heart, and through that you must go before you touch him. But then,' she + added, with a sigh, 'where's them that I love, an' am waitin' for, an' why + don't they come?' + </p> + <p> + “She once more stooped down, and kissing the grave, whispered, but loud + enough to be heard, 'are ye here? If ye are, ye may speak to me—it's + not them, they don't know where ye are yet—but sure ye may speak to + me. It's Mary, Hugh—your mother, Torley—your own mother, Brian + dear, with the fair locks.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ay,' said Raymond, 'that's the white-head she misses—that's him + that I loved—but sure she needn't call him for he won't waken. I'll + spake to her.' As he uttered the words he passed rapidly out of a broken + portion of the wall, and, before she was aware of his approach, stood + beside her. I thought she would have been startled by his unexpected + appearance, but I was mistaken; she surveyed him not only without alarm, + but benignly; and after having examined him for some moments, she said, + 'there are three of them, but they will not come—don't you know how + I loved somebody?' + </p> + <p> + “'Which o' them?' said Raymond. + </p> + <p> + “'It's a long sleep,' she said, without noticing the question, 'a long + sleep—well, they want it, poor things, for there was but little for + them but care, and cowld, and hardship—Sure we had sickness—Torley + left us first; but,—let me see,—where did Poor Brian go? Well, + no matter, we had sickness, as I said, and sometimes we had little or + nothing to eat, but sure still wasn't my hand tendher about them. I felt + my heart in my fingers when I touched them, and, if I gave them a drink + didn't my heart burn, and oh! it was then I knew how I loved them! Whisht, + then, poor things—och sure I'll do my best—I'll struggle for + you as well as I can—you have none but me to do it—it's not + the black wather I'd give my darlin' child if I had betther; but gruel is + what I can't get, for the sorra one grain of mail is undher the roof wid + me; but I'll warm the cowld potato for my pet, and you can play wid it + till you fall asleep, accushla. Yes, I will kiss you; for afther all, + isn't that the richest little treat that your poor mother has to comfort + you with in your poor cowld sick bed—one and all o' ye.' + </p> + <p> + “Here she rocked herself to and fro, precisely as if she had been sitting + by the sick bed, then stooping down a third time, she kissed the earth + that contained them once more— + </p> + <p> + “'Ah,' she exclaimed, 'how cowld their lips are! how cowld my white-haired + boy's lips are! and their sleep is long—Oh! but their sleep is + long!' + </p> + <p> + “Raymond, during these incoherent expressions, stood mutely beside her, + his lips, however, often moving, as if he were communing with himself, or + endeavoring to shape some words of rude comfort in her sorrows; but ever + and anon, as he seemed to go about it, his face moved with feelings which + he could not utter, like the surface of a brook stirred by the breeze that + passes over it. At length he laid his hand gently on her shoulder, and + exclaimed in a tone of wild and thrilling compassion— + </p> + <p> + “'Mary!' + </p> + <p> + “She then started for a moment, and looking around her with something like + curiosity rather than alarm, replied— + </p> + <p> + “'Well—' + </p> + <p> + “'Mary,' said he, 'make haste and go to heaven; make haste and go to + heaven—you'll find them all there—Hugh Regan, and Torley, and + little Brian. Don't stop here, for there will be more blood, more + bloodhounds, and more Val M'Clutchy's.' + </p> + <p> + “She did not seem to have noticed his particular words, but there appeared + to have been some association awakened which gave a new impulse to her + thoughts— + </p> + <p> + “'Come away,' said she, 'come away!' + </p> + <p> + “Raymond turned, and looking towards where I stood, beckoned me to follow + them; and truly it was a touching sight to see this unregulated attempt of + the poor innocent, to sooth the heavy sorrows—if such they were now—of + one of whose malady could appreciate no sympathy, and whose stricken heart + was apparently beyond the reach of consolation forever. + </p> + <p> + “Both now proceeded in silence, Raymond still holding her by the hand, and + affording her every assistance, as we crossed the fields, in order to + shorten the path which led us to the Castle Cumber road. On coming to a + ditch, for instance, he would lift her, but still with care and + gentleness, in his powerful arms, and place her, with scarcely any effort + of her own strength, which, indeed, was nearly gone, safely and easily + upon the other side. + </p> + <p> + “We had now crossed that part of the sloping upland which led us out upon + a bridle road, that passed close by M'Loughlin's house and manufactory, + and which, slanted across a ford in the river, a little above their + flax-mill. Having got out upon this little road, Raymond, who, as well as + his companion, had for some time past proceeded in silence, stopped + suddenly, and said—'Where is heaven, Mary?' + </p> + <p> + “She involuntarily looked up towards the sky, with a quick but more + significant glance than any I had yet seen her give; but this immediately + passed away, and she said in a low voice, very full of the usual tones of + sorrow:—'Heaven—it's there,' she replied, pointing behind her, + towards the burying-place, 'in their graves!' + </p> + <p> + “Raymond looked at me, and smiled, as if much pleased with the answer. + 'Ay,' said he, 'so it is—wherever his white head lies is heaven.' + </p> + <p> + “I cannot tell how it happened, but I know that I felt every source of + tenderness and compassion in my heart moved and opened more by these + simple words on both sides, than by all that had passed since we met her. + </p> + <p> + “In a few minutes more we reached that part of the road immediately + adjoining M'Loughlin's house, and which expanded itself as it reached the + river, that here became a ford, being crossed in ordinary cases by stone + steps. As is usual in the case of such, floods, which fall as rapidly as + they rise, we found about a dozen persons of both sexes, some sitting, + others standing, but all waiting until the river should subside so as to + be passed with safety—the little wooden bridge alluded to having + been literally swept away. Among these was Poll Doolin, the mother of + Raymond, who, however, did not appear to take any particular notice of + her, but kept close by, and directed all his attention to, unhappy Mary + O'Regan. About half an hour, had elapsed, when Raymond, casting his eye + upon the decreasing torrent, said— + </p> + <p> + “'It is now low enough—come, Mary, I will carry you safe over—Raymond + has often crossed it higher, ay, when it was over the rock there to our + right—come.' He lifted her up in his arms without another word, and, + with firm and confident steps, proceeded to ford the still powerful and + angry stream. + </p> + <p> + “'Raymond, are you mad?' shouted his mother; 'ten times your strength + couldn't stand that flood—come back, you headstrong creature, or + you'll both be lost, as sure as you attempt it.' + </p> + <p> + “Her remonstrances, however, were in vain. Raymond did not even look back, + nor pay the slightest attention to what she said. + </p> + <p> + “'Never mind them,' said he; 'I know best—it's often I crossed it.' + </p> + <p> + “On reaching the centre of the stream, however, he appeared to feel as if + he had miscalculated the strength of either it or himself. He stood for a + moment literally shaking like a reed in its strong current—the + passive maniac still in his arms, uncertain whether to advance with her or + go back. Experience, however, had often told him, that if the fording it + were at all practicable, the danger was tenfold to return, for by the very + act of changing the position, a man must necessarily lose the firmness of + his opposition to the stream, and consequently be borne away without the + power of resisting it. Raymond, therefore, balanced himself as steadily as + possible, and by feeling and making sure his footing in the most cautious + manner—the slightest possible slip or stumble being at that moment + fatal—he, with surprising strength and courage, had just succeeded + in placing her safely on the rock he had before alluded to, when a stone + turned under him—his foot gave way—and the poor creature, + whose reason was veiled to almost every impulse but that of a wild and + touching humanity, tumbled down the boiling torrent, helpless and + unresisting as a child, and utterly beyond the reach of assistance. My own + sensations and feelings I really cannot describe, because, in point of + fact, such was the tumult—the horror—of my mind at that + moment, that I have no distinct recollection of my impressions. I think + for a short space I must have lost both my sight and hearing, for I now + distinctly remember to have heard, only for the first time, the piercing + screams of his mother rising above the wild and alarming cries of the + others—but not until he had gone down the stream, and disappeared + round a sharp angle or bend, which it formed about eight or ten yards + below where he fell. + </p> + <p> + “There grew a little to the left of the spot where this shocking disaster + occurred, a small clump of whitethorn trees, so closely matted together, + that it was impossible to see through them. We all, therefore, ran round + as if by instinct, to watch the tumbling body of poor Raymond, when what + was our surprise to see a powerful young man, about eight or ten yards + below us, dashing into the stream; where, although the current was + narrower, it was less violent, and holding by a strong projecting branch + of hazel that grew on the bank, stretch across the flood, and, as the body + of Raymond passed him, seize it with a vigorous grasp, which brought it + close to where he stood. Feeling that both were now out of the force of + the current, he caught it in his arms, and ere any of us had either time + or presence of mind even to proffer assistance, he carried, or rather + dragged it out of the water, and laid it on the dry bank. + </p> + <p> + “'Come,' said he, 'I am afraid there is little time to be lost—help + me up with him to my father's, till we see what can be done to recover + life, if life is left.' + </p> + <p> + “The fact is, however, that Raymond was not altogether insensible; for, as + young M'Loughlin—the same, by the way, who had sent the message to + Phil—had concluded, he opened his eyes, breathed, and after gulping + up some water, looked about him. + </p> + <p> + “'Ah!' said he, 'poor Mary—she's gone to them at last; but she'll be + happier with them. Take my hand,' said he to M'Loughlin, 'sure I thought I + could do it. Poor Mary!' + </p> + <p> + “This instantly directed our attention to the unhappy woman, whom we had + all overlooked and forgotten for the moment, and I need not say that our + satisfaction was complete, on finding her sitting calmly on the rock where + Raymond had placed her, at the risk of his life. Poll Doolin, now seeing + that her idiot son was safe, and feeling that she was indebted for his + life to the son of that man on whom she is said by many to have wreaked + such a fearful vengeance, through the ruined reputation of his only + daughter, now approached the young man, and with her features deeply + convulsed by a sense probably of her obligation to him, she stretched out + her hand, 'John M'Loughlin,' said she, 'from this day out may God prosper + me here and hereafter, if I'm not the friend of you and yours!' + </p> + <p> + “'Bad and vindictive woman,' replied the other indignantly, whilst he held + back the hand she sought, 'our accounts are now settled—I have saved + your son; you have murdered my sister. If you are capable of remorse I now + leave you to the hell of your own conscience, which can be but little less + in punishment than that of the damned.' + </p> + <p> + “Raymond, whose attention had been divided between them and Mary O'Regan, + now said— + </p> + <p> + “'Ha, ha, mother—there—that's one—you'll sleep sound now + I hope, for you didn't lately—that little thing that comes to your + bedside at night, won't trouble you any more, I suppose. No, no, the thing + you say in your sleep, that is black in the face, has its tongue out, and + the handkerchief drawn tight about its neck. You'd give back the money in + your dhrame; but sorry a penny while you're waken, I'll engage.' + </p> + <p> + “Poll turned away rebuked, but not, if one could judge, either in + resentment or revenge. Raymond's words she had not heard, and of course + paid no attention to what he said; but the latter, now seeing that the + river had fallen considerably, again dashed into the stream, and crossing + over, lifted the poor insane widow off the rock, and setting her down in + safety on the other side, they both proceeded onwards together. + </p> + <p> + “'The ford, sir, will not be passable for at least another hour,' said + young M'Loughlin, addressing me, 'but if you will have the kindness to + step up to my father's, and rest a little after your mountain journey, for + I think you have been up the hills, you will find it at least more + comfortable than standing here, and less fatiguing than going round by the + bridge, which would make it at least five miles added to your journey.' + </p> + <p> + “I thanked him, said I felt obliged, and would gladly avail myself of his + very civil invitation. + </p> + <p> + “'Perhaps,' he added, 'you might wish to see our flax and linen + manufactory; if so, and that you do not think it troublesome, I will feel + great pleasure in showing it to you.' + </p> + <p> + “I expressed my obligations, but pleaded fatigue, which indeed I felt; and + we consequently soon found ourselves in his father's parlor, where I met a + very venerable old gentleman, the Rev. Mr. Roche, the Roman Catholic + pastor of the parish.” + </p> + <p> + We must here exercise the privilege, which, at the commencement of this + correspondence, we assured our readers we should reserve to ourselves—we + allude to the ability which we possess, from ampler and clearer sources of + information—to throw into Mr. Easel's correspondence, in their + proper place, such incidents as he could not have possibly known, but + which let in considerable light upon the progress of his narrative. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII.—An Execution by Val's Blood-Hounds + </h2> + <p> + Cruel Consequences of Phil's Plot Against Mary M'Loughlin—Dreadful + Determination of her Brothers—An Oath of Blood—Father Roche's + Knowledge of Nature—Interview Between Mary and her Brothers—Influence + and Triumph of Domestic Affection + </p> + <p> + The hellish and cowardly plot against Mary M'Loughlin's reputation, and + which the reader knows has already been planned and perpetrated by Poll + Doolin and Phil M'Clutchy, was, as such vile calumnies mostly are, + generally successful with the public. On her own immediate relations and + family, who knew her firmness, candor, purity of heart, and self-respect, + the foul slander had no effect whatsoever, at least in shaking their + confidence in her sense of honor and discretion. With the greedy and + brutal public, however, it was otherwise; and the discovery of this fact, + which reached them in a thousand ways, it was that filled their hearts + with such unparalleled distress, terrible agony, and that expanding spirit + of revenge which is never satisfied, until it closes on him whose crime + has given it birth. In truth,—and it is not to be wondered at—as + how almost could it be otherwise?—the diabolical and cowardly crime + of Phil M'Clutchy towards their sweet and unoffending sister, had changed + her three brothers from men into so many savage and insatiable + Frankensteins, resolved never to cease dogging his guilty steps, until + their vengeance had slaked its burning thirst in his caitiff blood. + </p> + <p> + Immediately after the night of its occurrence, a change began to take + place in the conduct and deportment of their general acquaintances. + Visitors dropped off, some from actual delicacy, and an unaffected + compassion, and others from that shrinking fear of moral contagion, which + is always most loudly and severely expressed by the private sinner and + hypocrite. Their sister's conduct was, in fact, the topic of general + discussion throughout the parish, and we need not say that such + discussions usually were terminated—first in great compassion for + the poor girl, and then as their virtue warmed, in as earnest + denunciations of her guilt. To an indifferent person, however, without any + prejudice either for or against her, it was really impossible, considering + the satanic success with which the plot was managed, and the number of + witnesses actually present at its accomplishment, to consider Miss + M'Loughlin as free at least from gross and indefensible levity, and a most + unjustifiable relaxation of female prudence, at a period when it was known + she was actually engaged to another. + </p> + <p> + This certainly looked very suspicious, and we need scarcely say that a + cessation of all visits, intimacy, and correspondence, immediately took + place, on the part of female friends and acquaintances. In fact the + innocent victim of this dastardly plot was completely deserted, and the + little party of her friends was by no means a match for the large and + godly hosts who charitably combined to establish her guilt. Her father, + with all his manliness of character, and sterling integrity, was not + distressed on his daughter's account only. There was another cause of + anxiety to him equally deep—we mean the mysterious change that had + come over his sons, in consequence of this blasting calamity. He saw + clearly that they had come to the dark and stern determination of avenging + their sister's disgrace upon its author, and that at whatever risk. This + in truth to him was the greater affliction of the two, and he accordingly + addressed himself with all his authority and influence over them, to the + difficult task of plucking this frightful resolution out of their hearts. + In his attempt to execute this task, he found himself baffled and + obstructed by other circumstances of a very distracting nature. First, + there were the rascally paragraphs alluding to his embarrassments on the + one hand, and those which, while pretending to vindicate him and his + partner from any risk of bankruptcy, levelled the assassin's blow at the + reputation of his poor daughter, on the other. Both told; but the first + with an effect which no mere moral courage or consciousness of integrity, + however high, could enable him to meet. Creditors came in, alarmed very + naturally at the reports against his solvency, and demanded settlement of + their accounts from the firm. These, in the first instances, were + immediately made out and paid; but this would not do—other claimants + came, equally pressing—one after another—and each so anxious + in the early panic to secure himself, that ere long the instability which, + in the beginning, had no existence, was gradually felt, and the firm of + Harman and M'Loughlin felt themselves on the eve of actual bankruptcy. + </p> + <p> + These matters all pressed heavily and bitterly on both father and sons. + But we have yet omitted to mention that which, amidst all the lights in + which the daughter contemplated the ruin of her fair fame, fell with most + desolating consequences upon her heart—we mean her rejection by + Harman, and the deliberate expression of his belief in her guilt. And, + indeed, when our readers remember how artfully the web of iniquity was + drawn around her, and the circumstances of mystery in which Harman himself + had witnessed her connection with Poll Doolin, whose character for + conducting intrigues he knew too well, they need not be surprised that he + threw her off as a deceitful and treacherous wanton, in whom no man of a + generous and honorable nature could or ought to place confidence, and who + was unworthy even of an explanation. Mary M'Loughlin could have borne + everything but this. Yes; the abandonment of friends—of + acquaintances—of a fickle world itself; but here it was where her + moral courage foiled her. The very hope to which her heart had clung from + its first early and innocent impulses—the man to whom she looked up + as the future guide, friend, and partner of her life, and for whose sake + and safety she had suffered herself to be brought within the meshes of her + enemies and his—this man, her betrothed husband, had openly + expressed his conviction of her being unfit to become his wife, upon + hearing from his cousin and namesake an account of what that young man had + witnessed. Something between a nervous and brain fever had seized her on + the very night of this heinous stratagem; but from that she was gradually + recovering when at length she heard, by accident, of Harman's having + unequivocally and finally withdrawn from the engagement. Under this she + sank. It was now in vain to attempt giving her support, or cheering her + spirits. Depression, debility, apathy, restlessness, and all the symptoms + of a breaking constitution and a broken heart, soon began to set in and + mark her for an early, and what was worse, an ignominious grave. It was + then that her brothers deemed it full time to act. Their father, on the + night before the day on which poor Raymond was rescued from death, + observed them secretly preparing firearms,—for they had already, as + the reader knows, satisfied themselves that M'Clutchy, junior, would not + fight—took an opportunity of securing their weapons in a place where + he knew they could not be found. This, however, was of little avail—they + told him it must and should be done, and that neither he nor any other + individual in existence should debar them from the execution of their + just, calm, and reasonable vengeance—for such were their very words. + In this situation matters were, when about eleven o'clock the next + morning, Father Roche, who, from the beginning, had been there to aid and + console, as was his wont, wherever calamity or sorrow called upon him, + made his appearance in the family, much to the relief of M'Loughlin's + mind, who dreaded the gloomy deed which his sons had proposed to + themselves to execute, and who knew besides, that in this good and pious + priest he had a powerful and eloquent ally. After the first salutations + had passed, M'Loughlin asked for a private interview with him; and when + they had remained about a quarter of an hour together, the three sons were + sent for, all of whom entered with silent and sullen resolution strongly + impressed on their stern, pale, and immovable features. Father Roche + himself was startled even into something like terror, when he witnessed + this most extraordinary change in the whole bearing and deportment of the + young men, whom he had always known so buoyant and open-hearted. + </p> + <p> + “My dear young friends,” said he, calmly and affectionately, “your father + has just disclosed to me a circumstance, to which, did it not proceed from + his lips, I could not yield credit. Is it true that you have come to the + most unchristian and frightful determination of shedding blood?” + </p> + <p> + “Call it just and righteous,” said John, calmly. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” followed the other two, “it is both.” + </p> + <p> + “In his cowardly crime he has evaded the responsibility of law,” continued + John, “and we care not if his punishment goes beyond law itself. We will + answer for it with our lives—but in the mean time, he must die.” + </p> + <p> + “You see, Father Roche,” observed M'Loughlin, “to what a hardened state + the strong temptations of the devil has brought them.” + </p> + <p> + “It is not that,” said John; “it is affection for our injured sister, whom + he has doubly murdered—it is also hatred of himself, and of the + oppression we are receiving in so many shapes at his hands. He must die.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” repeated the two brothers, “he must die, it is now too late.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha!” said the priest, “I understand you; there is an oath here.” + </p> + <p> + The three brothers smiled, but spoke not. + </p> + <p> + “Are ye my sons?” said the father, in tears, “and will you, who were ever + obedient and dutiful, disregard me now?” + </p> + <p> + “In this one thing we must,” said John “we know you not now as our father. + Am I right?” said he, addressing his brothers. + </p> + <p> + “You are right,” they replied, “in this thing he is not our father.” + </p> + <p> + “Great God!” said the priest, trembling with absolute dread at a scene so + different from any he had ever witnessed, “Merciful Father, hear our + prayers, and drive the evil spirits of vengeance and blood out of the + hearts of these wicked men!” + </p> + <p> + “Amen!” said their father, “and rescue them from the strong temptations of + the devil which are in them and upon them. Why do you not even pray to God—” + </p> + <p> + “—For strength to do it—we did, and we do,” said John, + interrupting him. + </p> + <p> + Father Roche looked at them, and there they stood, pale, silent, and with + a smile upon their lips which filled him with a description of awe and + fear that was new to him. Their father was little better; the perspiration + stood on his brow, and as he looked at them, he at times began to doubt + their very identity, and to believe that the whole interview might be a + phantasma, or a hideous dream. + </p> + <p> + “You have sworn an oath,” said the priest. “Rash and sinful men, you dared + blasphemously to take, as it were, the Almighty into a league of blood! Do + you not know that the creature you are about to slay is the work of your + Creator, even as you are yourselves, and what power have you over his + life? I see, I see,” he added, “you have taken a sacrilegious oath of + blood!” + </p> + <p> + “We have taken an oath of blood,” said they, “and we will keep it.” + </p> + <p> + “But is this just to your sister?” said the priest; “do you believe in the + justice of an Almighty Providence? Is there no probability that, if this + man lives, circumstances may come to light by which her fair and spotless + character may be vindicated to the world? On the contrary, should you now + take his life, you prevent any such possibility from ever happening; and + your own rashness and ungodly crime, will be the means of sending her name + down to posterity, foul and spotted with the imputation of woman's worst + guilt. Is that love for your sister?” + </p> + <p> + Father Roche now began to see that he must argue with their passions—or + with that strong affection for their sister, upon which these fearful + passions were founded—rather than with their reason or their + prejudices, which, in point of fact were now immovably set in the dark + determination of crime. + </p> + <p> + “Do you forget,” he added, “that there are laws in the country to pursue + and overtake the murderer? Do you forget that you will die an ignominious + death, and that, instead of acting an honorable part in life, as becomes + your ancient and noble name, you will bequeath nothing to your parents but + an inheritance of shame and infamy?” + </p> + <p> + “We have thought of all this before,” said John. + </p> + <p> + “No, not all,” said the youngest; “not all, but nearly.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, nearly,” said the other. + </p> + <p> + “Then,” said the priest, “you will not hesitate to renounce your most foul + and diabolical intention?” + </p> + <p> + “We have sworn it,” said John, “and it must be done.” To this the others + calmly assented. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then,” said the earnest Christian, “since you fear neither + disgrace, nor shame, nor the force of human laws, nor the dread of human + punishment, you are not so hardened as to bid defiance to the Almighty, by + whom you will be judged. Has he not said, 'thou shalt do no murder? and + that whoso sheddeth blood, by man shall his blood be shed.' I now ask + you,” said he, “as one of the humblest of his accredited messengers, do + you believe in God and fear him?” + </p> + <p> + “We are sworn,” said John; “the blood of him who has dishonored our + sister's name we will shed, and it is neither priest nor parent who will + or shall prevent us.” + </p> + <p> + “Is not a rash and unlawful oath a crime?” said Father Roche: “yes, and + you know it is better broken than kept. I call upon you now, as your + spiritual guide, to renounce that blasphemous oath of blood, and in the + name of the Almighty and all powerful God, I command you to do it.” + </p> + <p> + “We deny your right to interfere,” replied John, “we are not now at + confession—keep within your limits; for as sure as there is death + and Judgment, so sure as we will fulfil our oath in avenging the disgrace + of our sister. That ends all, and we will speak no more.” + </p> + <p> + The good old man began to fear that he should be put to the most painful + necessity of lodging informations before a magistrate, and thus become the + means of bringing' disgrace and evil upon the family when it occurred to + him to ask them a last question. + </p> + <p> + “My dear young men,” said he, “I have forgotten, in the agitation of mind + occasioned by the unprecedented disclosure of your evil and wilful + intentions, to ask, if you so far renounce God as to refuse to worship + him. Kneel down, and let us pray.” He himself and their father knelt, but + the three brothers stood as sullen and immovable as before. Tho priest + uttered a short prayer, but their conduct so completely perplexed and + shocked him, that he rose up, and with tears in his eyes, exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “I am now an old man, and have witnessed many instances of error, and sin, + and deep crime, but never before have I seen in persons of your early + years, such instances—such awful, terrible instances—of that + impenitence in which the heart, setting aside God and his sacred + ordinances, is given over to the hardness of final reprobation. I can do + no more, as the ambassador of Christ, but I must not stand by and see a + fellow-creature—oh! thank God,” he exclaimed, “a thought recurs to + my mind which had for a time passed out of it. My good friend,” he said, + addressing old M'Loughlin, “will you bring Mary in, if she is able to come—say + I request to see her here.” + </p> + <p> + “We will go now,” said the eldest, “you can want us no longer.” + </p> + <p> + “You shall not go,” replied Father Roche firmly, “if you are men, stay—or, + if cowards, who are afraid to look into the depths of your own dark + designs, you will and may go—we want you not.” This language + perplexed them, but they stood as before, and moved not. + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes Mary came in, leaning on her father's arm; but, ah! what + a change from the elegant outline and clear, healthy cheek—from the + red plump lips, and dark mellow eyes, which carried fascination in every + glance and grace in every motion! Sweet, and beautiful, and interesting, + she still unquestionably was, but her pale cheek, languid eye, and low + tremulous voice, told a tale, which, when the cause of it was reflected + on, had literally scorched up out of her brother's hearts every remaining + vestige of humanity. + </p> + <p> + “Mary,” said the priest, we have requested your presence, my child, for a + most important purpose—and, in communicating that purpose to you, we + indeed give the strongest proof of our confidence in your firmness and + good sense—nay, I will add, in the truth and fervor of your + dependence on the sustaining power of religion.” + </p> + <p> + “In my own strength or discretion I will never depend more,” she replied, + sighing deeply. + </p> + <p> + “You must exert great courage and firmness now, then,” rejoined Father + Roche; “In the first place, you are about to have a disclosure made which + will be apt to shock you; and, in the next place, I have only to say, that + it is the absolute necessity of your knowing it, in order to prevent + dreadful consequences from ensuing upon it, that forces us to make you + cognizant of it at all.” + </p> + <p> + “I trust I shall endeavor at least to bear it,” she returned; “I am not + strong, and I do not think that too much preparation will add to my + strength.” + </p> + <p> + “I agree with you, my child,” said Father Roche, “and have only made such + as I deemed indispensably necessary. The fact then is, my poor girl, that + your brothers meditate violence against that most base and wicked person + who—” + </p> + <p> + “I know, sir, the person to whom you allude; but I will thank you, if you + can avoid it, not to name him.” + </p> + <p> + “I have no such intention,” replied the good man, “but bad and profligate + as he is, it is still worse that your three brothers should propose such + violence.” + </p> + <p> + “But what do you mean by violence—of course violence of any + description is beneath them. Surely,—John, you would not stoop—” + </p> + <p> + She looked at them as she spoke, and, as before, there was no mistaking + the meaning of the cold and deadly smile which lay upon their lips, and + contrasted so strongly and strangely with their kindling eyes. + </p> + <p> + “What fearful expression is this,” she asked, with evident terror and + trepidation; “my dear brothers, what does this mean?—that is, if you + be my brothers, for I can scarcely recognize you—what is it, in the + name of heaven?” + </p> + <p> + The brothers looked at her, but spoke not, nor moved. + </p> + <p> + “They have taken an oath, Mary, to wipe out your shame in his blood,” + added the priest. + </p> + <p> + She immediately rose up without aid, and approached them. + </p> + <p> + “This is not true, my dear brothers,” said she, “this cannot be true—deny + it for your sister.” + </p> + <p> + “We cannot deny it, Mary,” said John, “for it is true, and must be done—our + vengeance is ripe, hot, burning, and will wait no longer.” + </p> + <p> + “John,” said she, calmly, “recollect 'vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, + and I will repay it.'” + </p> + <p> + “I told them so,” said their father, “but I receive no attention at their + hands.” + </p> + <p> + “Vengeance is ours,” said John, in a deeper and more determined voice than + he had ever uttered, “vengeance is ours, and we shall repay it.” The + others repeated his words as before. + </p> + <p> + “Obstinate and unhappy young men,” said the priest, “you know not, or you + forget, that this is blasphemy.” + </p> + <p> + “This, my dear sir,” observed their sister, getting still more deadly,pale + than before, “is not blasphemy, it is insanity—my three brothers are + insane; that is it. Relieve me, John,” said she, recovering herself, “and + say it is so.” + </p> + <p> + “If we were insane, Mary,” replied her brother, calmly, “our words would + go for nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “But, is it not a dreadful thing,” she continued, “that I should be glad + of such an alternative?” + </p> + <p> + “Mary,” said the priest, “ask them to pray; they refused to join me and + their father, perhaps you may be more successful.” + </p> + <p> + “They will certainly pray,” said she; “I never knew them to omit it a + night, much less refuse it. Surely they will join their poor sister Mary, + who will not long—” She hesitated from motives which the reader can + understand, but immediately knelt down to prayer. + </p> + <p> + During prayer the three brothers stood and knelt not, neither did they + speak. When prayers were concluded, she arose, and with tears in her eyes, + approached her eldest-brother. + </p> + <p> + “John,” said she, “can it be that the brother of Mary M'Loughlin is an + assassin? I will answer for you,” she said. “Kiss me, for I am weak and + feeble, and must go to bed.” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot kiss you,” he replied; “I can never kiss you more, Mary—for + it must be—done.” + </p> + <p> + The tears still streamed copiously down her cheeks, as they did down those + of her father and the amiable priest. The latter, who never took his eye + off her, was praying; incessantly, as might be seen by the motion, of his + lips. + </p> + <p> + “Alick,” she proceeded, turning to her second brother, “surely won't + refuse to kiss and embrace his only sister, before she withdraws for the + day.” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot kiss you, my pure sister; I can never kiss you more. We have + sworn, and it must be done.” + </p> + <p> + “I thought I had brothers,” said she, “but I find I am now brotherless—yet + perhaps not altogether so. I had once a young, generous, innocent, and + very affectionate playfellow. It was known that I loved him—that we + all loved him best. Will he desert his loving sister, now that the world + has done so? or will he allow her to kiss, him, and to pray that the + darkness of guilt may never overshadow his young and generous spirit. + Bryan,” she added, “I am Mary, your sister, whom you loved—and + surely you are my own dearest brother.” + </p> + <p> + Whilst she uttered the words, the tears: which flowed from her eyes fell + upon his face. He looked at her pale features, so full of love and + tenderness—the muscles of his face worked strongly; but at length, + with a loud cry, he threw himself over, caught her in his arms, and laying + her head upon his bosom, wept aloud. The evil spell was now broken. + Neither John nor Alick could resist the contagion of tenderness which + their beloved sister shed into their hearts. Their tears flowed fast—their + caresses were added to those of Brian; and as they penitently embraced + her, they retracted their awful oath, and promised never again to think of + violence, revenge, or bloodshed. + </p> + <p> + Thus did the force and purity of domestic affection charm back into their + hearts the very spirit which its own excess had before driven out of it;—and + thus it is that many a triumph over crime is won by the tenderness and + strength of that affection, when neither reason, nor religion, nor any + other principle that we are acquainted with, can succeed in leading + captive the fearful purposes of resentment and revenge. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said Father Eoche, “we have still a, duty to perform, and that is, + to return thanks to Almighty God for the dark and deadly crime, and the + woeful sorrow, which, by his grace and mercy, he has averted from this + family; and I think we may take this blessing—for such surely it is—as + an earnest hope that the same Divine hand, which has put aside this + impending calamity from us, may, and will, in his own good time, remove + the other afflictions which the enmity and wickedness of evil hearts, and + evil councils have brought upon us; but especially let us kneel and return + thanks for the great and happy change which, through the humility and + affection of one of us, has been wrought upon the rest.” + </p> + <p> + He then knelt down, and on this occasion the iron sinews of these young + men became soft, and were bent in remorse, sorrow, repentance. The pious + priest prayed fervently and humbly, and as his tears fell fast, in the + trusting sincerity of his heart and the meek earnestness of his spirit, it + is almost unnecessary to say, that those of his little flock accompanied + him. The brothers wept bitterly, for the rocky heart of each had been + touched, and religion completed the triumph which affection had begun. + </p> + <p> + Such had been the situation of this family on the day alluded to by Mr. + Easel, who could not, of course, have had any means of becoming acquainted + with them, but as we felt that the incidents were necessary to give + fulness to his narrative, we did not hesitate to introduce them here, + where a knowledge of them was so necessary. We now allow Mr. Easel himself + to resume his narrative. + </p> + <p> + “This venerable pastor,” continues Mr. Easel, “is a thin, pale man, but, + evidently, in consequence of temperance and moderation in his general + habits of living, a healthy one. He cannot be less than seventy, but the + singular clearness of his complexion, and the steady lustre of his gray + eye, lead you to suppose that he is scarcely that. He is tall and without + stoop, and, from the intellectual character of his high and benevolent + forehead, added to the mildness of his other features, and his whole face, + he presented, I must say, a very striking combination of dignity and + meekness. His dress is plain, and nothing can be more fine and impressive + than the contrast between his simple black apparel, and the long flowing + snow-white hair which falls over it. His holy zeal as a Christian + minister, unobscured by secular feelings, or an unbecoming participation + in the angry turmoils of political life, possessed all the simple beauty + of pure and primitive piety. Father Roche received his education on the + Continent, in several parts of which he has held ecclesiastical + appointments, one being the Presidency of an Irish College. He + consequently speaks most, if not all, of the continental languages; but so + utterly free from display, and so simple are his manners, that you would + not on a first interview, no, nor on a second, ever suppose the man to be + what he is—a most accomplished scholar and divine. In one thing, + however, you never could be mistaken—that his manners, with all + their simplicity, are those of a gentleman, possessing as they do, all the + ease, and, when he chooses, the elegance of a man who has moved in high + and polished society. He has only been a few years in Ireland. After a + glass of wine and some desultory conversation touching public events and + the state of this unfortunate and unsettled country, upon all of which he + spoke with singular good temper and moderation, we went to see the + manufactory, now that I had recovered from my fatigue. This building is + two or three hundred yards from the house, and as we were on our way + there, it so happened that he and I found ourselves together, and at some + distance from M'Loughlin and his sons. + </p> + <p> + “'You were introduced, sir,' said he, 'to me as Mr. Easel.' + </p> + <p> + “I bowed. + </p> + <p> + “'I am not inquisitive,' he added with a smile, 'because in this case I do + not find it necessary; but I am candid.' + </p> + <p> + “I began to feel slightly uneasy, so I only bowed again, but could say + nothing. + </p> + <p> + “'I have met you on the continent.' + </p> + <p> + “'It is quite possible,' I replied, 'I have been there.' + </p> + <p> + “He laid his finger on my shoulder, and added still with a gentle and + significant smile, 'I am in possession of your secret, and I say so, to + take you merely as far as I am concerned, out of a false, and myself out + of a somewhat painful position. It would be embarrassing to me, for + instance, to meet and treat you as that which you are not, knowing as I do + what you are; and it will relieve you from the difficulty of sustaining a + part that is not your own, at least so far as I am concerned.' + </p> + <p> + “'I certainly perceive,' I replied, 'that you are in possession of that, + which in this country, I thought known only to myself and another.' + </p> + <p> + “'Your secret,' he said emphatically, 'shall be inviolable.' + </p> + <p> + “'I feel it, my good sir,' I replied, 'and now, let me ask, on what part of + the continent did we meet?' + </p> + <p> + “Let it suffice to say here, that he brought himself distinctly to my + memory, through the medium of a very kind office performed for a friend of + mine, who, at the time, stood in circumstances not only of difficulty, but + of considerable personal danger. + </p> + <p> + “Having viewed the manufactory, which is somewhat of a novelty in this + immediate locality, we were about to take our leave, when four men, + evidently strangers, and each remarkable for that hardened and insolent + look which begets suspicion at a glance, now entered the concern with an + air of ruffian authority, and with all the offensive forms of which the + law is capable, laid on an execution, to the amount of fourteen hundred + pounds. + </p> + <p> + “Old M'Loughlin received the intelligence, and witnessed the proceedings, + with a smile, in which there was something that struck me as being + peculiarly manly and independent. + </p> + <p> + “'This,' said he, 'although coming from a quarter that I deemed to be + friendly, is the heaviest blow, connected with our business, that we have + received yet. Still, gentlemen,' he proceeded, addressing Father Roche and + myself, 'I trust it won't signify—a mere passing embarrassment. This + manufactory, as you may perceive, complete through all its machinery, + which is of the very best and costliest description, together with the + property in it, is worth five times the amount of the execution.' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes, but you forget,' replied the leading ruffian, 'that property under + an execution isn't to be judged by its real value. In general it doesn't + bring one-tenth, no, nor one-fifteenth of its true value, when auctioned + out, as it will be, under a writ.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ay, by Jabers,' said another of them, 'an' what's better still, you + forget that your lease is expired, and that Lord Cumber has sent over word + for you not to get a renewal—nor Harman either.' + </p> + <p> + “'Is this true?' I inquired of Father Roche; 'do you imagine it to be + possible?' + </p> + <p> + “'That fellow is bad authority for anything,' he replied, 'but I fear that + in this Point, he is too correct. However, let us ask M'Loughlin himself, + who, certainly, has the best right to know.' + </p> + <p> + “This I resolved on, not because I was ignorant of the fact, which you + know I had from M'Clutchy himself, but that I might ascertain that + gentleman's mode of transacting business, and his fairness towards Lord + Cumber's tenants. + </p> + <p> + “'What this man says, Mr. M'Loughlin, surely cannot be possible—does + he mean to assert that Lord Cumber refused to renew your lease, although + he must be aware that you have expended in the erection of this fine + manufactory a sum not less, I should suppose, than five or six thousand + pounds.' + </p> + <p> + “'Seven thousand six hundred,' replied the old man, setting me right, + 'nearly four thousand between Harman and us.' + </p> + <p> + “'But he does not refuse to renew your leases certainly?' + </p> + <p> + “'No,' said M'Loughlin, 'I cannot say that he does; but we have not been + able to get anything like a distinct reply from him on the subject—and, + as far as reports go, they are certainly not in our favor. We have written + to Lord Cumber himself, and the only reply we could obtain was, that he + had placed the whole matter in the hands of M'Clutchy, in whose justice + and integrity, he said, he had the highest confidence, and that + consequently we must abide by his decision. My own impression is, that he + is determined to ruin us, which he certainly will, should he refuse us a + renewal.' + </p> + <p> + “'There can be no doubt about it,' said the eldest son, 'nor that his + management of the estate and his general administration of justice are + woefully one-sided.' + </p> + <p> + “'I don't choose to hear Mr. M'Clutchy abused,' said the leading fellow, + who, in truth, was one of his blood-hounds, as were all the rest, with one + exception only, 'nor I won't hear him abused. You wouldn't have him show + the same favor to Papists that he would show to good, honest Protestants, + that are staunch and. loyal to Church and State—by Jabers, that + would be nice work! Do you think a man's not to show favor to his own + side, either as a magistrate or agent?—faith that's good!' + </p> + <p> + “'And I'll tell you more,' said another of them, addressing John + M'Loughlin, 'do you think, that if he dared to put Papishes on a level + with us, that we'd suffer it? By Gog, you're out of it if you do—we + know a horse of another color, my buck.' + </p> + <p> + “'To whom do you address such insolent language as this?' asked the young + man, 'you are here in execution of your duty, and you had better confine + yourself to that.' + </p> + <p> + “'To you, my buck, I address it, and to any Papish that doesn't like it—and + if I'm here to discharge my duty, I'll discharge it,' and he shook his + head with insolence as he spoke; 'an' what's more, I'm afeard of no man—and + I'll discharge my duty as I like, that's another thing—as I like to + discharge it. Ha! d—n me, I'm not to be put down by a parcel of + Priests and Papishes, if they were ten times as bad as they are.' + </p> + <p> + “'You are a low ruffian,' replied the young man, 'far beneath my + resentment or my notice; and it is precisely such scoundrels as you, + ignorant and brutal, who bring shame and infamy upon religion itself—and + are a multiplied curse to the country.' + </p> + <p> + “'Very well, my buck,' persisted this ferocious bigot, 'may be the day + will come when we'll make you remember this traisen, and swally it too. + How would you like to get a touch of the wreckers, my buck?—an' by + Jabers, take care that you're not in for a lick. A lease! d—n me but + it would be a nice thing to give the like o' you a lease! None o' your + sort, my buck, will get that trick, so long as loyal M'Clutchy's on the + property.' + </p> + <p> + “Father Roche having taken the young man's arm, led him away; wishing to + avoid any further altercation with such persons, and immediately + afterwards they set about completing an inventory of all the property, + machinery, etc., in the establishment. + </p> + <p> + “'There was one expression used by that man,' I observed, when we got out + again upon the Castle Cumber road, 'which I do not properly understand; it + was, 'how should you like to get a touch of the wreckers?' + </p> + <p> + “'The wreckers, sir,' replied old M'Loughlin, 'are a set of men such as + that fellow we have just been speaking to—brimful of venom and + hatred against Catholics and their religion. Their creed consists of two + principles, one of which I have just mentioned, that is, hatred of us; the + other is a blind attachment to the Orange system. These two combined, + constitute a loyalist of the present day; and with such impressions + operating upon a large mass of men like the fellow inside, who belong to + an ascendant party, and are permitted to carry arms and ammunition + wherever they like, either to search your house or mine, on the most + frivolous pretences, it is not surprising that the country should be as it + is; but it is surprising, that exposed as we are to such men, without + adequate protection, we should possess any attachment at all to the throne + and, constitution of these realms; or to a government which not only + suffers such a state of things to exist, but either connives at or + encourages it. For instance, it was the exhibition of such principles as + you have heard that man avow, that got him and those who accompany him + their appointments; for, I am sorry to say, that there is no such + successful recommendation as this violent party! spirit, even to + situations of the very lowest class. The highest are generally held by + Orangemen, and it is attachment to their system that constitutes the only + passport now-a-days to every office in the country, from the secretary to + the scavenger.' + </p> + <p> + “This, I fear, is rather an overtime account of the state of things in the + portion of Ireland from which I write; but, whilst I admit this, I am far + from saying that the faults are all on one side. There are prejudices + equally ferocious, and quite as senseless and ignorant, on the part of the + Roman Catholic party—prejudices resulting sometimes from education, + and sometimes from the want of it; but, which certainly contribute their + full share to the almost disorganized state of society by which I am + surrounded.” + </p> + <p> + From the same to the same in continuation. + </p> + <p> + “May 10, 18—. My dear Spinageberd—-Feeling, as I did, + exceedingly anxious to make myself acquainted with the true principles of + the Orange institutions which have spread themselves so rapidly over the + country, I need scarcely say to you that I left nothing that was fair and + honorable undone, on my part, to accomplish that object; or, in other + words, to ascertain whether their private principles, as a political body, + harmonize with their public practices. It is but fair to render justice to + every party, and consequently it is only right and equitable to inquire + whether the violent outrages committed by the low and ignorant men who + belong to their body, are defensible by the regulations which are laid + down for their guidance. + </p> + <p> + “On looking over the general declaration of the objects of the + institution, one is certainly struck by the fairness, and liberality, and + moderation, joined to a becoming avowal of attachment to the Protestant + religion and the throne, which it breathes. Here, however, it is, <i>verbatim + et literatim</i>, in its authentic shape, with all that is good or evil in + it laid clearly before you. I deem it right, however, to preface it by the + greater portion of a short but significant Report, to which are prefixed + the following memorable names:— + </p> + <p> + “'At a meeting of the Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland, November 29, 1798. + Present:—Thomas Verner, Grand Master; J. C. Beresford, grand + secretary; R. C. Smith, jun., deputy secretary; H. A. Woodward; J. S. + Rochfort; T. F. Knipe; Samuel Montgomery; Harding Giffard; William + Richardson; John Fisher; William Corbett; W. G. Galway; Francis Gregory. + Harding Giffard and S. Montgomery, Esqrs., reported as follows:— + </p> + <p> + “'Having been honored by the Grand Lodge with instructions to revise and + select a proper system of rules, for the government of Orange Lodges, we + beg leave to make a report of our progress. + </p> + <p> + “'We are happy in being able to say, that in our duty upon this occasion, + we received the greatest assistance from the experience of the Grand + Master of Ireland, and his Deputy Grand Secretary, who did us the honor of + imparting to us their sentiments. + </p> + <p> + “'Encouraged by their help, we have ventured very materially to alter the + shape of the confused system which was referred to us preserving the + spirit, and, as much as possible, the original words, except where we had + to encounter gross violations of language and grammar. + </p> + <p> + “'The general, plan of our proceeding has been this, we have thrown what + are, in our opinion, very improperly called the six first general rules, + into one plain short declaration of the sentiments of the body. + </p> + <p> + “'Next in order we have given the qualifications of an Orangeman, selected + from the Antrim regulations, and the rather, as it breathes a spirit of + piety which cannot be too generally diffused throughout an institution, + whose chief object, whatever political shape it may assume, is to preserve + the Protestant Religion. ****** + </p> + <p> + “'Samuel Montgomery, “'Henby Giffard. '“Nov. 20, 1798.” + </p> + <p> + GENERAL DECLARATION OF THE OBJECTS OF THE ORANGE INSTITUTION. + </p> + <p> + “'We associate, to the utmost of our power, to support and defend his + Majesty King George the Third, the constitution and laws of this country, + and the succession to the Throne in his Majesty's illustrious house, being + Protestants; for the defence of our persons and properties; and to + maintain the peace of the country; and <i>for these purposes to we will be + at all times ready to assist the civil and, military powers in the just + and lawful discharge of their duty</i>. We also associate in honor of King + William the Third, Prince of Orange, whose name we bear, as supporters of + his glorious memory, and the true religion by him completely established + in these kingdoms. And in order to prove our gratitude and affection for + his name, we will annually celebrate the victory over James at the Boyne, + on the first day of July, O.S., in every year, which day shall be our + grand Era for ever. + </p> + <p> + We further declare that we are exclusively a Protestant Association; yet, + detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit, we solemnly pledge ourselves to + each other, <i>that we will not persecute, injure, or upbraid any person + on account of his religious opinions, PROVIDED THE SAME BE NOT HOSTILE TO + THE STATE</i>; but that we will, on the contrary, be aiding and assisting' + to every loyal subject, of every religious description, in protecting him + from violence and oppression. + </p> + <p> + Qualifications requisite for an Orangeman. + </p> + <p> + “'He should have a sincere love and veneration for his Almighty Maker, + productive of those lively and happy fruits, righteousness and obedience + to his commands; a firm and steadfast faith in the Saviour of the world, + convinced that he is the only mediator between a sinful creature and an + offended Creator—without these he cannot be a Christian; of a humane + and compassionate disposition, and a courteous and affable behavior. He + should be an utter enemy to savage brutality and unchristian cruelty; a + lover of society and improving company; and have a laudable regard for the + Protestant religion, and a sincere desire to propagate its precepts; + zealous in promoting the honor, happiness, and prosperity of his king and + country; heartily desirous of victory and success in those pursuits, yet + convinced and assured that God alone can grant them. He should have a + hatred of cursing and swearing, and taking the name of God in vain (a + shameful practice), and he should use all opportunities of discouraging it + among his brethren. Wisdom and prudence should guide his actions—honesty + and integrity direct his conduct—and the honor and glory of his king + and country be the motives of his endeavors—lastly, he should pay + the strictest attention to a religious observance of the Sabbath, and also + to temperance and sobriety. + </p> + <p> + Obligation of an Orangeman. + </p> + <p> + “I, A. B., do solemnly and sincerely swear, of my own free will and + accord, that I will, to the utmost of my power, support and defend the + present king, George III., his heirs and successors, so long as he or they + support the Protestant ascendancy, the constitution, and laws of these + kingdoms; and that I will ever hold sacred the name of our glorious + deliverer, William III., prince of Orange; and I do further swear, that I + am not, nor ever was, a Roman Catholic or Papist; that I was not, am not, + nor ever will be, a United Irishman, and that I never took the oath of + secrecy to that, or any other treasonable society; and I do further swear, + in the presence of Almighty God, that I will always conceal, and never + will reveal, either part or parts of what is now to be privately + communicated to me, until I shall be authorized so to do by the proper + authorities of the Orange institution; that I will neither write it, nor + indite it, stamp, stain, or engrave it, nor cause it so to be done, on + paper, parchment, leaf, bark, stick, or stone, or anything, so that it may + be known; and I do further swear, that I have not, to my knowledge or + belief, been proposed and rejected in, or expelled from any other Orange + Lodge; and that I now become an Orangeman without fear, bribery, or + corruption. + </p> + <p> + “'SO HELP ME GOD.' + </p> + <p> + Secret Articles. + </p> + <p> + “'1st. That we will bear true allegiance to his majesty, king George III., + his heirs and successors, so long as he or they support the Protestant + ascendancy and that we will faithfully support and maintain the laws and + constitution of these kingdoms. + </p> + <p> + “'2d. That we will be true to all Orangemen in all just actions, neither + wronging one, nor seeing him wronged to our knowledge, without acquainting + him thereof. + </p> + <p> + '“3d. That we are not to see a brother offended for sixpence or one + shilling, or more, if convenient, which must be returned next meeting if + possible. + </p> + <p> + “'4th. We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; that may + bring a brother into trouble. + </p> + <p> + “'5th. We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any person + whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an enemy. + </p> + <p> + “'6th. We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is + required, if possible (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or + families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master), + otherwise we are fined as the company think proper. + </p> + <p> + “'7th. No man can be made an Orangeman without the unanimous approbation + of the body. + </p> + <p> + “'8th. An Orangeman is to keep a brother's secrets as his own, unless in + case of murder, treason, and perjury; and that of his own free will. + </p> + <p> + “'9th. No Roman Catholic can be admitted on any account. + </p> + <p> + “'10th. Any Orangeman who acts contrary to these rules shall be expelled, + and the same reported to all the Lodges in the kingdom and elsewhere. + </p> + <p> + “'GOD SAVE THE KING.' + </p> + <p> + “Among the Secret Articles are the following, which, by the way, are + pretty significant, when properly understood:— + </p> + <p> + “'4th—We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; + that might bring a brother into trouble.' + </p> + <p> + “'5th—We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any + person whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an + enemy.' + </p> + <p> + “'6th—We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is + required, if possible, (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or + families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master), + otherwise we are fined as the company think proper.' + </p> + <p> + “The Marksman's obligation is merely a repetition of the same description + of allegiance to the king, his heirs, and successors, so long as he or + they maintain the Protestant ascendancy, &c, &c, together with + such other obligations of secrecy as are to be found either in Orange or + Ribbon Lodges, with very slight difference in their form and expression. + </p> + <p> + “Now, my dear Spinageberd, I first call your attention to that portion + which is headed 'Qualifications necessary for an Orangeman;' and I think + you will agree with me that it would be difficult, almost impossible, to + find in any organized society, whether open or secret, a more formidable + code of qualifications for such as may be anxious to enroll themselves + amongst its members. And I have no doubt, that had the other portions of + it been conceived and acted on in the same spirit, Orangeism would have + become a very different system from that which under its name now + influences the principles, and inflames the passions of the lower classes + of Protestants, and stimulates them too frequently to violence, and + outrage, and persecution itself, under a conviction that they are only + discharging their duties by a faithful adherence to its obligations. These + obligations, however, admirable as they are and ably drawn up, possess + neither power nor influence in the system, being nothing more nor less + than an abstract series of religious and moral duties recommended to + practice, but stript of any force of obligation that might impress them on + the heart and principles. They are not embodied at all in the code in any + shape or form that might touch the conscience or regulate the conduct, but + on the contrary, stand there as a thing to look at and admire, but not as + a matter of duty. If they had been even drawn up as a solemn declaration, + asserting on the part of the newly made member, a conviction that strict + observance of their precepts was an indispensable and necessary part of + his obligations as an Orangeman, they might have been productive of good + effect, and raised the practices of the institution from many of the low + and gross atrocities which disgraced it. I cannot deny, however, that + Orangeism, with all its crimes and outrages, has rendered very important + services to the political Protestantism of the country. In fact, it was + produced at the period of its formation by the almost utter absence of + spiritual religion in the Established Church. Some principle was necessary + to keep Protestantism from falling to pieces, and as a good one could not + be found in a church which is at this moment one mass of sordid and + selfish secularity,* there was nothing left for it but a combination such + as this. Indeed, you could form no conception of the state of the + Protestant Church here, even while I write, although you might form a very + gorgeous one of the Establishment. The truth is she is all Establishment + and no Church; and is, to quote Swift's celebrated simile— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Like a fat corpse upon a bed, + That rots and stinks in state.” + + * Let the reader remember that this, and almost everything + that refers to the Irish Establishment, is supposed to have + been written about forty years ago. +</pre> + <p> + “There was no purifying or restraining power in the Establishment to + modify, improve, or elevate the principles of Orangeism at all. And what + has been the consequence? Why, that in attempting to infuse her spirit + into the new system she was overmatched herself, and instead of making + Orangeism Christian, the institution has made her Orange. This is fact. + The only thing we have here now in the shape of a Church is the Orange + system, for if you take that away what remains? + </p> + <p> + “This, my dear Spinageberd, is not to be wondered at; for no effects are + without their causes. In this country nobody ever dreams of entering the + Established Church, from pure and pious motives. In such a Church piety + may be corrupted, but it is seldom rewarded. No, the description of + persons who now enter the Church are the younger sons of our nobility and + gentry, of our squires, our dignitaries, and wealthy professional men; of + our judges, generals, our deans, and our bishops. Among the sons of such + men the Church is carved out, with the exception of the chines, and + sirloins, and other best joints, all of which are devoured by peculiar + description of Englishmen, named Bishops, who are remarkable for + excessively long claws and very shark-like teeth. In this, however, we do + not blame England, but agree with Dean Swift who asserted, that in his + day, she uniformly selected the most unassuming, learned and pious + individuals she could get; fitted them out as became such excellent + Christian men, and sent them over with the best intentions imaginable, to + instruct the Irish in all Christian truth and humility. It so happened, + however, that as soon as they had reached Hounslow Heath, they were every + man, without exception, stopped, stripped, and robbed, by the gentlemen + who frequent that celebrated locality; who, thinking that robbery on the + high Church was safer and more lucrative than robbery upon the highway, + came over here instead of pious men, where they remained in their original + capacity for the remainder of their lives. + </p> + <p> + “It is impossible, in fact, that a Church so deeply infected with + political corruption, so shamefully neglected in all that is spiritual and + regenerative, and so openly prostituted to intrigue and ambition, can ever + work with that high and holy efficacy which should characterize her. + These, however, are not her purposes, nor are they aimed at. She exists + here merely as an unholy bond between the political interests of the two + countries, maintaining British authority by her wealth, and corrupting + Irish honesty by her example. I have already enumerated the class of + persons who enter her, and touched upon the motives by which they are + influenced. In large families, for instance, if there happen to be a young + fellow either too idle, or too stupid for the labor and duties of the + other professions, there is no inconvenience or regret felt. No matter—he + Dick, or Jack, or Tom, as the case may be, will do very well for the + Church. 'You will make a very good parson, Tom—or a Dean—or a——-no + hang it, there I must stop, I was about to say Bishop, but not being an + Englishman, you cannot carve that dish, Dick. Never mind—you can + feed upon a fat living—or if one won't do—why, we must see and + get you a pair of them, Bill.' + </p> + <p> + “But this, my dear Spinageberd, is not all. You will be surprised, when I + tell you, that there is no system of education necessary for entering into + orders. No system, I repeat—properly so called—either + Scriptural or Ecclesiastical. Some few divinity lectures are to be + attended, which in general are neither well attended—nor worth + attending—and that, I believe, is all. One thing is certain, that + the getting certificates of attendance for these lectures is a mere form, + as is the examination for orders. The consequence is, that a young + candidate for a living goes into the Church burthened with very little of + that lore which might spoil his appetite for its enjoyment; so + harmoniously does everything here work together for the good of the + pastors at the expense of the people. + </p> + <p> + “I think I have shown you that there is little in the Church of Ireland + that is likely to regulate or purify the spirit of Orangeism when coming + in contact with itself. That it had little to gain from the Church in a + spiritual way, and that the Church is not fulfilling the ends of her + establishment here in any sense, is evident from the Report in the little + work from which I have taken these extracts. In that passage it would + appear that the very existence of a Church is forgotten altogether; for + Orangeism is termed 'an institution, whose chief object—whatever + political shape it may assume—is to preserve the Protestant + religion.' I will now, before I close this batch, direct your attention to + one or two passages that prove most distinctly the fact, that there stand + clear in this oath of an Orangeman, principles, founded on foregone + practices and conclusions, which never should have existence in a country + so situated as this is. + </p> + <p> + “The Orangemen, for instance, in the paper headed their 'General + Declaration,' say, 'We associate for the defence of our persons and + properties, and to maintain the peace of the country; and for these + purposes we will be at all times ready to assist the civil and military + powers in the just and lawful discharge of their duty.' + </p> + <p> + “This, now, is all very plausible, but, perhaps, by looking a little more + closely into the circumstances of the case, we may be able to perceive + that in this passage, and one or two others of a similar character, the + most objectionable part of the system lies disguised—if one can say + disguised, because to me, my dear Spinageberd, the matter seems obvious + enough. Who, then, are these men that come forward with arms in their + hands, to proffer aid to the civil and military powers in the discharge of + their duty? A self-constituted body without authority, who have certainly + proved themselves to be brave men, and rendered most important services to + the state, at a time when such services were, no doubt, both necessary and + acceptable. The crisis, however, in which this aid was given and received, + being but of brief duration, soon passed away, leaving the party opposed + to government—the rebels—broken, punished, flogged, banished, + hanged; in fact, completely discomfited, subdued, beaten down. In other + words, the rebellion of '98 having been thoroughly suppressed, this + self-elected body of men, tasting the sweets of authority, retain, under + different circumstances, these obligations, which, we admit, the previous + situation of the country had rendered necessary. They retain them in times + of peace, and bring into operation against men who were no longer either + in a disposition or capacity to resist, those strong prejudices and that + fierce spirit which, originated in tumult and civil war. Why, nobody + complains of the conduct of Orangemen, as a, body, in '98; it is of their + outrages since, that the country, and such as were opposed to them, have a + right to complain. + </p> + <p> + “In another passage the declaration is still stronger and more + significant: 'We further declare,' say they, 'that we are exclusively a + Protestant association; yet, detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit, we + solemnly pledge ourselves to each other, that we will not persecute, + injure, nor upbraid any person on account of his religious opinions, + provided the same be not hostile to the state.' + </p> + <p> + '“That is to say, they will persecute, injure, or upbraid such persons + only whose religious opinions are hostile to the state. But, now, let me + ask any man of common sense, if he could for a moment hesitate to declare + on oath what religion they have alluded to as being hostile to the state? + There is, in truth, but one answer to be given—the Roman Catholic. + What else, then, is this excessive loyalty to the state but a clause of + justification for their own excesses, committed in the name, and on the + behalf of religion itself? Did they not also constitute themselves the + judges who were first to determine the nature of these opinions, and + afterwards the authorities who should punish them? Here is one triumphant + party with arms in their hand, who have only, if they wish, to mark out a + victim, and declare his religion and principles as hostile to the state; + and, lo! they are at liberty, by their own regulations, to 'persecute' + him! + </p> + <p> + “In the 5th secret article there occurs the following:—'We are not + to carry away money, goods, or anything, from any person whatever, except + arms and ammunition, and these only from an enemy.' + </p> + <p> + “This certainly shows the nature of the cruel and domiciliary tyranny + which they, subsequently to '98, carried to such excess in different parts + of the country; and here, as in the other instance, what was there to + guide them in determining the crime which constituted an enemy? Why, their + own fierce prejudices alone. Here, then, we find a body irresponsible and + self-constituted, confederated together, and trained in the use of arms + (but literally unknown to the constitution), sitting, without any legal + authority, upon the religious opinions of a class that are hateful and + obnoxious to them—and, in fact, combining within themselves the + united offices of both judge and executioner. With the character of their + loyalty I have no quarrel; I perceive it is conditional; but the doctrine + of unconditional loyalty is so slavish and absurd, that the sooner such an + unnecessary fetterlock is struck off the mind the better. To-morrow + evening, however, I am to be introduced to an Orange Lodge, after the + actual business of it shall have been transacted and closed. This is a + privilege not conceded to many, but it is one of which I shall very gladly + avail myself, in order that I may infer from their conduct some faint + conception of what it generally is.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX.—An Orange Lodge at Full Work + </h2> + <p> + —Solomon in all his Glory—He Defines Drinking to be a + Religious Exercise—True Blue and the Equivocal—Phil's + Eloquence—A Charter Toast. + </p> + <p> + From the same to the same. + </p> + <p> + “Friday, * * * + </p> + <p> + “The order of business for each night of meeting is, I find, as follows:—1. + Lodge to open with prayer, members standing. 2. General rules read. 3. + Members proposed. 4. Reports from committee. 5. Names of members called + over. 6. Members balloted for. 7. Members made. 8. Lodge to close with + prayer, members standing. + </p> + <p> + “It was about eight o'clock, when, accompanied by a young fellow named + Graham, we reached the Lodge, which, in violation of one of its own rules, + was held in what was formerly called the Topertoe Tavern, but which has + since been changed to the Castle Cumber Arms—being a field <i>per + pale</i>, on which is quartered a purse, and what seems to be an inverted + utensil of lead, hammered into a coronet. In the other is a large mouth, + grinning, opposite to which is a stuffed pocket, from which hangs the + motto, '<i>ne quid detrimenti res privata capiat</i>.' Under the foot of + the gentleman is the neck of a famine-struck woman, surrounded by naked + and starving children, and it is by the convenient aid of her neck that he + is enabled to reach the purse, <i>or</i>; and, indeed, such is his + eagerness to catch it and the coronet, that he does not seem to care much + whether he strangles her or not. On the leaden coronet, is the motto, + alluding to the head which fills it, '<i>similis simili gaudet</i>.' + </p> + <p> + “I should mention, before proceeding further, that Mr. Valentine + M'Clutchy, being master of the Lodge in question, was the individual from + whom I had received permission to be present under the circumstances + already specified. The ceremony of making a member is involved in that + ridiculous mystery which is calculated to meet the vulgar prejudices of + low and ignorant men. Sometimes they are made one by one, and + occasionally, or, I believe, more frequently in batches of three or more, + in order to save time and heighten the effect. The novice, then, before + entering the Lodge, is taken into another room, where he is blindfolded, + and desired to denude himself of his shoes and stockings, his right arm is + then taken out of his coat and shirt sleeves, in order to leave his right + shoulder bare. He then enters the Lodge, where he is received in silence + with the exception of the master, who puts certain queries to him, which + must be appropriately answered. After this he receives on the naked + shoulder three smart slaps of the open hand, as a proof of his willingness + to bear every kind of persecution for the sake of truth—of his + steadfastness to the principles of Orangeism, and of his actual + determination to bear violence, and, if necessary, death itself, rather + than abandon it or betray his brethren. + </p> + <p> + “About nine o'clock the business of the Lodge had been despatched, and in + a few minutes I received an intimation to enter from the Deputy Master, + who was no other than the redoubtable and heroic Phil himself; the father + having been prevented from coming, it appeared, by sudden indisposition. + As I entered, they were all seated, to the number of thirty-five or forty, + about a long table, from which rose, reeking and warm, the powerful + exhalations of strong punch. On paying my respects, I was received and + presented to them by Phil, who on this occasion, was in great feather, + being rigged out in all the paraphernalia of Deputy Master. The rest, + also, were dressed in their orange robes, which certainly gave them a good + deal of imposing effect. + </p> + <p> + “'Gentlemen,' said Phil,—'Bob Sparrow, I'll trouble you to touch the + bell, and be d—d to you—gentlemen, this is a particular friend + of mine and my father's—that is, we intend to make a good deal of + interest in him, if it's not his own fault, and to push him on in a way + that may serve him—but, then, he's in the dark yet; however, I hope + he won't be long so. This, gentlemen, is Mr. Weasel from England, who has + come over to see the country.' + </p> + <p> + “'Your health, Mr. Weasel,' resounded from all sides, 'you're welcome + among us, and so is every friend of brother Captain Phil's.' + </p> + <p> + “'Gentlemen,' said I,' I feel much obliged for the cordiality of your + reception—but, allow me to say, that Mr. M'Clutchy has made a slight + mistake in my name, which is Easel, not Weasel.' + </p> + <p> + “'Never mind, sir,' they replied, among a jingle of glasses, which almost + prevented me from being heard, 'never mind, Mr. Evil, we don't care a + curse what your name is, provided you're a good Protestant. Your name may + be Belzebub, instead of Evil, or Devil, for that matter—all we want + to know is, whether you're staunch and of the right metal.' + </p> + <p> + “'That, gentlemen,' I replied, 'I trust time will tell' + </p> + <p> + “'I shall be very proud—I speak it not, I hope, in a worldly sense,' + said a little thin man dressed in black—'no, not in a worldly sense + I shall be proud, sir, of your acquaintance. To me it is quite sufficient + that you are here as the friend of my excellent friend, Mr. Valentine + M'Clutchy; a man, I trust, not without a deep and searching spirit of—' + </p> + <p> + “'Come, Solomon,' said a large, broad-shouldered man, with a face in which + were singularly blended the almost incompatible principles of fun and + ferocity, 'Come, Solomon, none of your preaching here so soon—you + know you're not up to the praying point yet, nor within four tumblers of + it. So, as you say yourself, wait for your gifts, my lad.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ah, Tom,' replied Solomon with a smile, 'alway's facetious—always + fond of a harmless and edifying jest.' + </p> + <p> + “'My name, sir,' added he, 'is M'Slime; I have the honor to be Law Agent + to the Castle Cumber property, and occasionally to transact business with + our friend M'Clutchy.' + </p> + <p> + “Here the waiter entered with a glass and tumbler, and Phil desired them + to shove me up the decanter. This, however, I declined, as not being yet + sufficiently accustomed to whiskey punch to be able to drink it without + indisposition. I begged, however, to be allowed to substitute a little + cold sherry and water in its stead. + </p> + <p> + “'I'm afeard, sir,' observed another strong-looking man, 'that you are + likely to prove a cool Orangeman on our hands. I never saw the man that + shied his tumbler good for much.' + </p> + <p> + “'Sir,' said Solomon, 'you need not feel surprised at the tone of voice + and familiarity in which these persons address you or me. They are, so to + speak, sturdy and independent men, who, to the natural boldness of their + character, add on such occasions as this, something of the equality and + license that are necessarily to be found in an Orange Lodge. I am myself + here, I trust, on different and higher principles. Indeed it is from a + purely religious motive that I come, as well as to give them the benefit + of a frail, but not, I would hope, altogether unedifying example. Their + language makes me often feel now much I stand in need of grace, and how + good it is sometimes for me to be tempted within my strength. I also drink + punch here, lest by declining it I might get into too strong a feeling of + pride, in probably possessing greater gifts; and I need not say, sir, that + a watchful Christian will be slow to miss any opportunity of keeping + himself humble. It is, then, for this purpose that I sometimes, when among + these men, make myself even as one of them, and humble myself, always with + an eye to edification even to the fourth or fifth cup.' + </p> + <p> + “'But I trust, sir, that these Christian descents from your vantage ground + are generally rewarded.' + </p> + <p> + “'Without boasting, I trust I may say so. These little sacrifices of mine + are not without their own appropriate compensations. Indeed, it is seldom + that such stretches of duty on the right side, and for the improvement of + others, are made altogether in vain. For instance, after the humility—if + I can call it so—of the third cup, I am rewarded with an easy + uprising of the spiritual man—a greater sense of inward freedom—an + elevation of the soul—a benign beatitude of spirit, that diffuses a + calm, serene happiness through my whole being.' + </p> + <p> + “'That, sir, must be delightful.' + </p> + <p> + “'It is delightful, but it is what these men—carnal I do not wish to + call them lest I fall—it is, however, what these men—or, + indeed, any merely carnal man, cannot feel. This, however, I feel to be a + communication made to me, that in this thing I should not for the time + stop; and I feel that I am not free to pass the fourth or fifth cup, + knowing as how greater freedom and additional privileges will be granted.' + </p> + <p> + “'Are the stages marked, sir, between the fourth and fifth tumblers?' + </p> + <p> + “'Cups, my friend—there is a beauty, sir, in the economy of this + that is not to be concealed. For instance, the line between the third and + fourth cups is much better marked, and no doubt for wiser purposes, than + is that between the fourth and fifth. At the fourth my spirit is filled + with strong devotional tendencies—and it is given to me to address + the Lodge with something like unctional effect; but at the fifth this + ecstatic spirit rises still higher, and assumes the form of praise, and + psalms, spiritual songs, and political anthems. In this whole assembly, I + am sorry to say, that there is but one other humble individual who, if I + may so speak, is similarly gifted, and goes along with me, <i>pari passu</i>, + as they say, step by step, and cup by cup, until we reach the highest + order, which is praise. But, indeed, to persons so gifted in their liquor, + drinking is decidedly a religious exercise. That person is the little + fellow to the right of the red-faced man up yonder, the little fellow I + mean, who is pale in the face and wants an eye. His name is Bob Spaight; + he is grand cobbler, by appointment, to the Lodge, and attends all the + Popish executions in the province, from principle; for he is, between you + and me, a Christian man of high privileges. As for our little touches of + <i>melodia sacra</i> during the fifth cup, the only drawback is, that no + matter what the measure of the psalm be, whether long or short, Bob is + sure to sing it either to the tune of <i>Croppies lie Down</i>, or the <i>Boyne + Water</i>, they being the only two he can manage; a circumstance which + forces us, however otherwise united, to part company in the melody, unless + when moved by compassion for poor Bob, I occasionally join him in <i>Croppies + lie Down</i> or the other tune, for the purpose of sustaining him as a + Christian and Orangeman.' + </p> + <p> + “At this time it was with something like effort that he or I could hear + each other as we spoke, and, by the way, it was quite evident that little + Solomon was very nearly in all his glory, from the very slight + liquefaction of language which, might be observed in his conversation. + </p> + <p> + “It occurred to me now, that as Solomon's heart was a little bit open, and + as the tide of conversation flowed both loud and tumultuous, it was a very + good opportunity of getting out of him a tolerably fair account of the + persons by whom we were surrounded. I accordingly asked him the name and + occupation of several whom I had observed as the most striking individuals + present. + </p> + <p> + “'That large man with the red face,' said I, 'beside your pious and + musical friend Spaight—who is he?' + </p> + <p> + “'He is an Orange butcher, sir, who would think very little of giving a + knock on the head to any Protestant who won't deal with him. His + landlord's tenants are about half Catholics and half Protestants, and as + he makes it a point to leave them his custom in about equal degrees, this + fellow—who, between you and me—is right in the principle, if + he would only carry it out a little more quietly—makes it a standing + grievance every lodge night. And, by and by, you will hear them abuse each + other like pickpockets for the same reason. There is a grim-looking + fellow, with the great fists, a blacksmith, who is at deadly enmity with + that light firm-looking man—touching the shoeing of M'Clutchy's + cavalry. Val, who knows a thing or two, if I may so speak, keeps them one + off and the other on so admirably, that he contrives to get his own horses + shod and all his other iron work done, free, <i>gratis</i>, for nothing + between them. This is the truth, brother Weasel: in fact my dear brother + Weasel, it is the truth. There are few here who are not moved by some + personal hope or expectation from something or from somebody. Down there + near the door are a set of fellows—whisper in your ear—about + as great scoundrels as you could meet with; insolent, fierce, furious men, + with bad passions and no principles, whose chief delight is to get drunk—to + kick up party feuds in fairs and markets, and who have, in fact, a natural + love for strife. But all are not so. There are many respectable men here + who, though a little touched, as is only natural after all, by a little + cacoethes of self-interest, yet, never suffer it to interfere with the + steadiness and propriety of their conduct, or the love of peace and good + will. It is these men, who, in truth, sustain the character of the + Orange-Institution. These are the men of independence and education who + repress—as far as they can—the turbulence and outrage of the + others. But harken! now they begin.' + </p> + <p> + “At this moment the din in the room was excessive. Phil had now begun to + feel the influence of liquor, as was evident from the frequent thumpings + which the table received at his hand—the awful knitting of his + eyebrows, as he commanded silence—and the multiplicity of 'd—n + my honors,' which interlarded his conversation. + </p> + <p> + “'Silence, I say,' he shouted; 'd—n my honor if I'll bear this. + Here's Mr. Weasel—eh—Evil, or Devil; d—n my honor, I + forget—who has come ov—over all the way—(All the way + from Galloway, is that it?—go on)—all the way from England, to + get a good sample of Protestantism to bring home with him to distribute + among his father's tenantry. Now if he can't find that among ourselves + to-night, where the devil would, or could, or ought he to go look for it?' + </p> + <p> + “'Hurra—bravo—hear brother Captain Phil.' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes, gentlemen,' continued Phil, rising up; 'yes, Mr. Civil—Evil—Devil; + d—n my honor, I must be on it now—I am bold to say that we are—are—a + set of—' + </p> + <p> + “'Hurra—hurra—we are, brother Captain Phil' + </p> + <p> + “'And, gentlemen, not only that, but true blues. (Three cheers for the + Castle Cumber True Blue.) And what's a true blue, gentlemen? I ask you + zealously—I ask you as a gentleman—I ask you as a man—I + ask you determinedly, as one that will do or die, if it comes to that'—(here + there was a thump on the table at every word)—I ask you as an + officer of the Castle Cumber Cavalry—and, gentlemen, let any man + that hears me—that hears me, I say—because, gentlemen, I ask + upon independent principles, as the Deputy-Master of this Lodge, gentlemen—(cheers, + hurra, hurra)—and the question is an important one—one of the + greatest and most extraordinary comprehension, so to speak; because, + gentlemen, it involves—this great question does—it involves + the welfare of his majesty, gentlemen, and of the great and good King + William, gentlemen, who freed us from Pope and Popery, gentlemen, and + wooden shoes, gentlemen—' + </p> + <p> + “'But not from wooden spoons, gentlemen,' in a disguised voice from the + lower end of the table. + </p> + <p> + “'Eh?—certainly not—certainly not—I thank my worthy + brother for the hint. No, gentlemen, we unfortunately have wooden spoons + up to the present day; but, gentlemen, if we work well together—if + we be in earnest—if we draw the blade and throw away the scabbard, + like our brothers, the glorious heroes of Scullabogue—there is as + little doubt, gentlemen, as that the sun this moment—the moon, + gentlemen; I beg pardon—shines this moment, that we will yet banish + wooden spoons, as the great and good King William did Popery, brass money, + and wooden shoes. Gentlemen, you will excuse me for this warmth; but I am + not ashamed of it—it is the warmth, gentlemen, that keeps us cool in + the moment—the glorious, pious and immortal moment of danger and + true loyalty, and attachment to our Church, which we all love and practise + on constitutional principles. I trust, gentlemen, you will excuse me for + this historical account of my feelings—they are the principles, + gentlemen, of a gentleman—of a man—of an officer of the Castle + Cumber Cavalry—and lastly of him who has the honor—the + glorious, pious, and immortal honor, I may say, to hold the honorable + situation of Deputy-Master of this honorable Lodge. Gentlemen, I propose + our charter toast, with nine times nine—the glorious, pious, and + immortal memory. Take the time, gentlemen, from me—hip, hip, hurra.' + </p> + <p> + “'Brother M'Clutchy,' said a solemn-looking man, dressed in black, 'you + are a little out of order—or if not out of order, you have, with + great respect, travelled beyond the usages of the Lodge. In the first + place—of course you will pardon me—I speak with great respect—but, + in the first place, you have proposed the charter toast, before that of + the King, Protestant Ascendancy, Church and State; and besides, have + proposed it with nine times nine, though it is always drunk in solemn + silence.' + </p> + <p> + “'In all truth and piety, I deny that,' replied little Bob Spaight. 'When + I was in Lodge Eleventeen, eleven-teen—no, seventeen, ay, seventeen—we + always, undher God, drank it with cheers. Some of them danced—but + othes I won't name them, that were more graciously gifted, chorused it + with that blessed air of '<i>Croppies lie Down</i>,' and sometimes with + the precious psalm of the '<i>Boyne Water</i>.' + </p> + <p> + “'I'm obliged to Mr. Hintwell for his observations, for I'm sure they were + well meant; but, gentlemen, with every respect for his—his greater + and more tractable qualifications, I must say, that I acted from zeal, + from zeal—zeal, gentlemen, what's an Orangeman without zeal? I'll + tell you what he is—an Orangeman without zeal is a shadow without a + light, a smoke without a fire,' or a Papist without treason. That's what + he's like, and now, having answered him, I think I may sit down.' + </p> + <p> + “Phil, however, whose first night of office it happened to be, as Chairman + of the Lodge, had still sense enough about him to go on with the toasts in + their proper order. He accordingly commenced with the King, Protestant + Ascendancy, the Gates of Bandon, with several other toasts peculiar to the + time and place. At length he rose and said:— + </p> + <p> + “'Gentlemen, are you charged—fill high, gentlemen, for, though it's + a low toast, we'll gloriously rise and drink it—are you all + charged?' + </p> + <p> + “'All charged, hurra, captain!' + </p> + <p> + “'Here, gentlemen, another of our charter toast—The pope in the + pillory, the pillory in hell, and the devils pelting him with priests! + Gentlemen, I cannot let that—that beautiful toast pass without—out + adding a few words to it. Gentlemen it presents a glorious sight, a + glorious, pious, and immortal memory of the great and good—ha, beg + pardon, gentlemen—a glorious, pious, and immortal sight—think + of the pillory, gentlemen, isn't that in itself a glorious and pious + sight? And think of the pope, gentlemen; isn't the pope also a glorious + and pious sight?' + </p> + <p> + “'With all truth and piety, and undher God, I deny that,' said Bob + Spaight. + </p> + <p> + “'And so do I,' said a second. + </p> + <p> + “'And I,' added a third. + </p> + <p> + “'What damned Popish doctrine is this?' said several others. + </p> + <p> + “'Brother Phil, be good enough to recollect yourself,' said Solomon, 'we + feel, that as a Protestant and Orangeman, you are not doctrinally correct + now; be steady, or rather steadfast—fast in the faith.' + </p> + <p> + “Phil, however, looked oracles, his whole face and person were literally + being expanded, as it were, with the consciousness of some immediate + triumph. + </p> + <p> + “'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'have a little patience—I say the pope + is a glorious and pious sight—' + </p> + <p> + “'Undher God—' + </p> + <p> + “'Silence Bob.' + </p> + <p> + “'But I mean when he's in the pillory—ek; d—n my honor, I have + you all there! ha, ha, ha!' + </p> + <p> + “'Hurra, hurra, three cheers more for the captain!' + </p> + <p> + “'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'please to fill again—I give you now the + Castle Cumber press, the <i>True Blue and Equivocal</i>, with the healths + of Messrs. Yellowboy and Cantwell.' + </p> + <p> + “'Hurra! Messrs. Yallowboy and Cant-well! hurra, Mr. Yellow, Mr. Yellow.' + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Yellowboy, who had not been able to come earlier, in consequence of + the morrow being publishing day with him, now rose. He was a tall, thin, + bony-looking person, who might very well have taken his name from his + complexion. + </p> + <p> + “'Mr. Chairman, gentlemen, and brothers—I rise with great and + powerful diffidence to speak, to express myself, and to utter my + sentiments before this most respectable, and, what is more, truly loyal + auditory—hem. In returning thanks, gentlemen, for the Castle Cumber + True Blue (cheers), I am sure I am not actuated by any motive but that + staunch and loyal one which stimulates us all—hem. The True Blue, + gentlemen, is conducted—has been conducted—and shall be + conducted to all eternity—should I continue to be so long at the + head of it—so long I say, gentlemen'—here the speaker's eye + began to roll—and he slapped the table with vehemence—'I + shall, if at the head of it so long, conduct it to all eternity upon the + self-same, identical, underivating principles that have identified me with + it for the last six months. What's Pruddestantism, gentlemen, without a + bold, straightforward press to take care of its pruvileges and interests? + It's nothing, gentlemen.' + </p> + <p> + “'Undher God, sir, and with all piety and perseverance I deny—' + </p> + <p> + “'Silence, brother Bob, don't interrupt Mr. Yellowboy, he'll make himself + plain by and by.' + </p> + <p> + “'I deny—' + </p> + <p> + “'Silence—I say.' + </p> + <p> + “'Nothing, gentlemen—a candle that's of no use unless it's lit—and + the press is the match that lights it (hurra, cheers). But, as I said in + defending Pruddestantism, we advocate civil and religious liberty all over + the world—I say so boldly—for, gentlemen, whatever I say, I do + say boldly'—here he glanced at the Equivocal—'I am not the man + to present you with two faces—or I'm not the man rather to carry two + faces—and only show you one of them—I'm not the man to make + prutensions as a defender of civil and religious liberty, with a + Protestant face to the front of my head, and a Popish face in my pocket—to + be produced for the adversary of Popery and idolatry—whenever I can + conciliate a clique by doing so.' Here there was a look of sarcastic + defiance turned upon Cantwell—who, conscious of his own integrity—merely + returned it with a meek and benignant smile, a la Solomon. + </p> + <p> + “'No, gentlemen, I am none of those things—but a bold, honest, + uncompermising Pruddestant—who will support the church and + Constitution for ever—who will uphold Pruddestant Ascendancy to the + Day of Judgment—keep down Popery and treason—and support civil + and religious liberty over the world to all eternity.' + </p> + <p> + “'Cheers—hurra—hurra—success brother Yellowboy.' + </p> + <p> + “'And now, gentlemen, before I sit down there is but one observation more + that I wish to make. If it was only idontified with myself I would never + notice it—but it's not only idontified with me but with you, + gentlemen—for I am sorry to say there is a snake in the grass—a + base, dangerous, Equivocal, crawling reptile among us—who, wherever + truth and loyalty is concerned, never has a leg to stand upon, or can put + a pen to paper but with a deceitful calumniating attention. He who can + divulge the secrets of our Lodge'—(Here there was another furious + look sent across which received a polite bow and smile as before)—'who + can divulge, gentlemen, the secrets of our Lodge, and allude to those who + have been there—I refer, gentlemen, to a paragraph that appeared in + the Equivocal some time ago—in which a hint was thrown out that I + was found by the editor of that paper lying-drunk in the channel of Castle + Cumber Main-street, opposite his office—that he brought me in, + recovered me, and then helped me home. Now, gentlemen, I'll just mention + one circumstance that will disprove the whole base and calumnious charge—it + is this—on rising next morning I found that I had eight and three + halfpence safe in my pocket—and yet that reptile says that he + carried me into his house!!! Having thus, gentlemen, triumphantly refuted + that charge, I have the pleasure of drinking your healths—the + healths of all honest men, and confusion to those who betray the secrets + of an Orange Lodge!' + </p> + <p> + “As each paper had its party in the Lodge, it is not to be supposed that + this attack upon the Editor of the Equivocal was at all received with + unanimous approbation. Far from it. Several hisses were given, which again + were met by cheers, and these by counter cheers. In this disorder Mr. + Cantwell rose, his face beaming with mildness and benignity—sweetness + and smiles—and having bowed, stood all meekness and patience until + the cheering was over. + </p> + <p> + “'Brother Cantwell,' said Solomon, 'remember to discard self-reliance—let + thy sup—support be from '—but before he could finish, brother + Cantwell turned round, and blandly bowing to him, seemed to say—for-he + did not speak— + </p> + <p> + “'My dear brother M'Slime, I follow your admirable advice; you see I do—I + shall' + </p> + <p> + “'Mr. Chairman,' said he, 'gentlemen and dear brothers'—here he + paused a moment, whilst calmly removing the tumbler out of his way that he + might have room to place his hand upon the table and gently lean towards + the chairman. He then serenely smoothed down the frill of his shirt, + during which his friends cheered—and ere commencing he gave them + another short, and, as it were, parenthetical bow. 'Mr. Chairman, + gentlemen, and dear brothers, I do not rise upon this very unpleasant + occasion—unpleasant to me it is, but not on my account—for the + purpose of giving vent to the coarse effusions of an unlettered mind, that + shapes its vulgar outpourings in bad language and worse feeling. No, I am + incapable of the bad feeling, in the first place, and, thanks to my + education, of illiterate language, in the second. It has pleased my friend + Mr. Yellowboy—if he will still allow me to call him so—for I + appeal to you all whether it becomes those who sit under this hallowed + roof to disagree—it has pleased him, I say, to bring charges against + me, to some of which I certainly must plead guilty—if guilt there be + in it. It has pleased him to charge me with the unbrotherly crime, the + unchristian crime, the un-orange crime'—here he smiled more blandly + at every term, and then brought his smiling eye to bear on his antagonist—'of + lifting him out of the channel about twelve o'clock at night, where he lay—I + may say so among ourselves—in state of most comfortable, but + un-orange-like intoxication.' + </p> + <p> + “The audience now being mostly drunk, were tickled with this compliment to + their sobriety, and cheered and shouted for more than a minute. 'Go on + Cantwell! By Japers, you're no blockhead!' + </p> + <p> + “'Under Providence, and with all piety I say it, he will vanquish the + yallow sinner over there.' + </p> + <p> + “'Brother Cantwell,' observed Mr. M'Slime, 'go on—the gift is not + withheld.' + </p> + <p> + “Another smiling bow to M'Slime, as much as to say, 'I know it's not—I + feel it's not.' + </p> + <p> + “'This, gentlemen, and dear brothers, was my crime—I acted the good + Samaritan towards him—that was my crime. May I often commit it!' + </p> + <p> + “'Is that your pretended charity, sir?' said Yellowboy, whose temper was + sorely tried by the other's calmness; 'don't you know, sir, that you + cannot become the Samaritan unless I become the drunkard? and yet you hope + often to commit it!' + </p> + <p> + “No notice whatsoever taken of this. + </p> + <p> + “'—But perhaps there was still a greater crime in this affair. I + allude to the crime of having, after the account of his frailty had taken + wind through the whole country, ventured to defend it, or rather to place + it in such a light as might enable the public to place it to the account + of mere animal exhaustion, independent of the real cause. And I have + reason to know, that to a very enlarged extent I succeeded—for many + persons having heard of the circumstance in its worse and most offensive + sense, actually came to my office—' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes, after you had made it public, as far as you could.' + </p> + <p> + “'—To my office, to inquire into it. And I assure you all, + gentlemen, that from motives at once of the Christian and the Orangeman, I + merely informed them that the gentleman had certainly had, about the time + specified, a very severe fit—I did not add of intoxication—oh + the contrary, I charitably stopped there, and now it would appear that + this forbearance on my part is another crime. But even that is not all. + The occasion which called forth the paragraph in the paper which I have + honor to conduct, was one which I shall just allude to. Some time ago + there was inserted in the True Blue a short article headed 'Susanna and + the Elder,' in which certain vague and idle reports, fabricated by some + person who bears enmity to a most respectable Christian gentleman, who + honors us this moment with his presence—' + </p> + <p> + “Solomon here approached him, and grasping his hand, exclaimed— + </p> + <p> + “'Thank you, my dear brother Cantwell—thank you a hundred times; + yours is the part of a true Christian; so go on, I entreat you—here + is nothing to be ashamed of—I know it is good to be tried.' + </p> + <p> + “'Now it was really the charity contained in the article from the True + Blue that struck me so forcibly—for it not only breathed the scandal + so gently, as that it would scarcely stain a mirror—and it did not + stain the mirror against which the report was directed—but it placed + it as it were, before his eyes, that he might not be maligned without his + knowledge, on taking steps to triumph over it, which our friend did—and + great was his triumph and meekly was it borne on the occasion. With + respect to my political creed, gentlemen, you all know it is my boast that + I belong to no party. I advocate broad and general principles; and the + more comprehensive they are, so does my love of kind take a wider range. I + am a patriot, that is my boast—a moderate man—an educated man; + I am, at least, a competent master of the English language, which I trust + I can write and speak like a gentleman. I am not given to low and gross + habits of life; I am never found in a state of beastly intoxication late + at night, or early in the day; nor do I suffer my paper to become the + vehicle of gratifying that private slander or personal resentment which I + am not capable of writing myself, and have not the courage to acknowledge + as a man. I am not a poor, kicked, horse-whipped, and degraded scoundrel, + whose malignity is only surpassed by my cowardice—whose principal + delight is to stab in the dark—a lurking assassin, but not an open + murderer—a sneaking, skulking thief, without the manliness of the + highwayman—a pitiful, servile—but, I believe, I have said + enough. Well, gentlemen, I trust I am none of these; nor am I saying who + is. Perhaps it would be impossible to find them all centred in the same + man; but if it were, it would certainly be quite as extraordinary to find + that man seated at an Orange Lodge. Brother Yellowboy, I have the pleasure + of drinking your health.' + </p> + <p> + “Brother Yellowboy felt that he was no match at all for Cantwell; so in + order to escape the further venom of his tongue, he drank his in return, + and joined in the cheers with which his speech was received; for by this + time the audience cared not a fig what was said by either party.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX.—Sobriety and Loyalty + </h2> + <p> + —A Checkered Dialogue—The Beauty and Necessity of Human + Frailty —A Burning and Shining Light Going Home in the Dark—The + Value of a Lanthorn. + </p> + <p> + “The character or forms of decency which had hitherto prevailed, now began + to disappear. M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, or wreckers—for they were + indiscriminately termed both—having drank a great deal of liquor, + became quite violent, and nothing now was heard but party songs, loud + talk, and offensive toasts, mingled with a good deal of personal abuse, + and private jealousies of each other's influence with M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + “'D—n your blood, Grimes, I'm as loyal as ever you were. Wasn't my + grandfather a Tory hunter, who houghed and hanged more bloody Papishes—' + </p> + <p> + “'Who's that,' said Bob, 'talking about hanging Papishes? Where—where + are they to be hanged? Under God, I have seen more of the villains hanged + than any other frail sinner in the province. Oh, it is a consoling—a + sustaining sight!' + </p> + <p> + “'What's the reason, then, that the Protestant gentry of the country don't + stand by their own? Why do they deal with Papishes? By Japers they don't + daserve us to stand by them.' + </p> + <p> + “'I say, Fulton, it's a d—d lie. I was at the wrecking of the + Ballygrass Threshers, when you shabbed sickness and wouldn't go.' + </p> + <p> + “'And I am glad I didn't. A purty business you made of it—to pull + down the houses, and wreck the furniture about the ears of a set of women + and children; I say such conduct is disgraceful to Orangemen.' + </p> + <p> + “'An' what the devil right have you to expect the sargeantship, then, when + you won't perform its duties?' + </p> + <p> + “'I don't care a d—n about you or it. The Pope in the pillory, the + pillory in h—l—' + </p> + <p> + “'—Sent the bullet through his palm, and kept his finger and thumb + together ever since— + </p> + <p> + “'Lerolero lillibullero, lillibullerobuuenela.'— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + '—Sleet or slaughter, holy water, + Sprinkle the Catholics every one; + Cut them asunder, and make them lie undher, + The Protestant boys will carry their own.—. +</pre> + <p> + “'They can never stand the guns—the lead makes them fly—and, + by Japers, they'll get it.—' + </p> + <p> + “'What health, man? out with it; are we to sit here all night for it?—' + </p> + <p> + “'He gets half his bread from a d——d Papish, merely because, + he's his tenant—instead of getting the whole of it from me, that's + better than a tenant, a brother Orangeman— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'King James he pitched his tents between + The lines for to retire; + But King William threw his bomb balls in, + And set them all on fire.'— +</pre> + <p> + “In fact the confusion of Babel was nothing to it now, every voice was + loud, and what between singing, swearing, shouting, arguing, drinking + toasts, and howling, of various descriptions, it would not be easy to to + find anything in any other country that could be compared to it. + </p> + <p> + “Phil himself was by this time nearly as drunk as any of them, but in + consequence of several hints from those who preserved their sobriety, and + several of them did, he now got to his legs, and called silence. + </p> + <p> + “'Silence, sil-sil-silence, I say, d—n my honor if I'll bear this. + Do you think (hiccup) we can separate without drinking the Castle + Cu-Cumber toast. Fill, gentle-(hic-cup)-men, here's Lord Cumber and the + Castle-Castle Cu-Cumber property, with the health of Sol-Sol-Solo-Solomon + M'Slime, Esq.— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'For God will be our king this day, + And I'll be the general over—eh—over—no, no, under.'— +</pre> + <p> + “'Under, I believe (hiccup)—' + </p> + <p> + “'Silence, there, I say.' + </p> + <p> + “'My friends—my dear friends,' said Solomon—'my brothers—Christian + brethren, I should say, for you are Christian brethren—Lord Cumber's + health is a good thing, and his property is a good thing; and I—I + return you thanks for it, as I am bound to do, as a Christian. Am I + Christian? Well—' (here he smiled, and laying his hand upon his + heart, added,) 'well I know what I feel here, that is all. My dear + friends, I said that Lord Cumber's health and property were good things, + but I know a thing that's better, more valuable, richer—and what is + that? It is here, in this poor frail—but not frail so long as that + thing is here—that thing, what is it? Oh, if you had prayed for it, + wrestled for it, fought for it, as I did, you would know what it is, and + all the delightful and elevating consolations it brings along with it. + Surely some one drank Lord Cumber's health! That was well; he sitteth in a + high place, and deserveth honor. Let us drink his health, my friends—let + us drink it, yea, abundantly, even unto rejoicing. But what is this thing? + Why, it is the sense of inward support, a mild, sweet light, that diffuses + pleasant thoughts through you, that multiplies every good gift about you, + that makes one cup of pleasant liquor seem two. It is not to many that + these things are vouchsafed; not, I believe, to any here, always with + humility and fear be it spoken, excepting Bob Spaight and myself— + </p> + <p> + “'—July the first in Oldbridge town, + </p> + <p> + responded Bob, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “' There was a grievous battle, + Where many a man lay on the ground, + By the cannons that did rattle.'— +</pre> + <p> + “'Yea,' pursued Bob, 'the gift is come, brother Solomon—the fifth + cup always brings it— + </p> + <p> + —'King James he pitched his tents between'— + </p> + <p> + “'Aye, but, brother Bob,' resumed Solomon, 'the gift is a little too soon + on this occasion. Let me give the words, and, Bob, if you could manage the + 'Protestant Boys,' rather than 'Croppies lie Down,' it would suit it; and, + indeed, it would be well if the whole congregation joined us in it. I + shall give the words—let me see, long measure, eight lines, four + nines, and four six-sixes;— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'There's nought but care on every hand, + In every hour that passes, oh, + What signifies the life o' man, + An' 'twere not for the lasses, oh.” + </pre> + <p> + eh, let me see—am I right?' + </p> + <p> + “'Right,' they shouted, 'never were half so right, Solomon. We'll join you + to a man,' and accordingly, with one voice, they gave the stanza at the + top of their voices, little Bob leading them, to the air of 'Croppies lie + Down,' in a style that was perfectly irresistible. + </p> + <p> + “Thus ended a night in an Orange Lodge, but not so out of it. Those who + had to go any distance, were armed, and the consequence was, that when + they got into the street, they commenced their usual courses: shots were + fired in every direction, offensive songs were sung—any money for + the face of a Papist—to hell with the Pope—Ram down Catholics, + and so on. At length, by degrees these all ceased, the streets gradually + grew quiet, then still, and another night closed upon the habits of a + class of men, who, in the wantonness of their power, scarcely knew what + they did. + </p> + <p> + “Having witnessed the scene just described—a scene that accounted + very clearly for at least one important phase of Irish life—I deemed + it full time to go to bed, this being the inn in which I stop. I + accordingly was about to ascend the staircase, from the lobby, for we sat + in the back drawing-room, when I thought I heard a voice that was not + unfamiliar to me, giving expression to language—in which I could + perceive there was a very peculiar blending of love and devotion; that is + to say, it was exceedingly difficult, from the admirable tact with which + he balanced the application of the two principles, whether Solomon, for it + was he, loved the physical or the spiritual system of the barmaid, for it + was she, with more earnestness and warmth. The family at this time had all + retired for the night, with the exception of boots, and the barmaid in + question, a well made, pretty Irish girl, with a pair of roguish eyes in + her head, that beamed with fun and good humor. Solomon, instead of going + home, had got into a little retired spot behind the bar, called the + snuggery, and into which, of course, she attended him with a glass of + liquor. + </p> + <p> + “'Eliza,' said Solomon, 'Eliza, I have often had an intention of asking + you to allow me the privilege and the pleasure, Eliza, of some serious + conversation with you. It is a trying world, a wicked world, and to—to + a girl—so charming a girl as you are, Eliza—' + </p> + <p> + “'Charming, Mr. M'Slime; well, well!' + </p> + <p> + “'Charming, certainly, as regards your person, your external person—your + person is indeed very charming, and verily, Eliza, this brandy and water + is truly precious, so beautifully blended, that I cannot—now, Eliza, + will you pardon me a small, but, I trust, not unedifying joke; yes, you + will—I know—I see you will—very well, then, the little + joke is pardoned—this brandy and water are so beautifully blended, + that I cannot help thinking there is something in that sweet hand of yours + that diffuses a delicious flavor upon it—I know that such things + exist.' + </p> + <p> + “'Upon my word, Mr. M'Slime, from such a religious gentleman as you are, I + didn't expect—' + </p> + <p> + “'Ah, my dear Eliza, that is coming to the root of the matter, and I am + glad to find that you are not insensible to it. On that subject, my sweet + girl, and you are a sweet girl—it is that I propose to speak with + you—to commune with you—in a spirit, my dear Eliza, of love + and affection. Will you then take a seat—a seat, my dear Eliza.' + </p> + <p> + “'I fear I cannot, sir; you know there is no one else to keep an eye to + the bar.' + </p> + <p> + “'The business of the bar, my dear girl, is over for this night; but not, + I trust—sincerely trust—that of the sweet barmaid; do sit, + Eliza, pray be seated, and let me have a word with you in season; thank + you, but not at such a distance, Eliza, such an inconvenient distance; I + say inconvenient—because—ugh, ugh, I have caught a slight cold—as + a trial it came—and I will receive it so, that has fallen for the + time—ugh, ugh, ugh—upon my lungs, and renders it a good deal + troublesome to me to speak loud; so that the nearer you sit—and it + has affected my head a little, only with a slight deafness, though, which—were + you speaking, my dear?' + </p> + <p> + “'No, sir.' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes, so I thought, you were saying something—will soon pass away.' + </p> + <p> + “I thought this dialogue, on the part of M'Slime, too characteristic to be + lost. I accordingly stole somewhat near the snuggery, until I got into a + position from whence I could see them clearly, without being seen myself. + It was quite evident from the humor, which, in spite of a demure face + glinted from her eye, that Eliza's object was to occasion M'Slime to + assume his real character, for I could easily see that from time to time + she felt very considerable difficulty in suppressing her laughter. + </p> + <p> + “'The deafness, Eliza, I feel particularly troublesome, though not + painful; as while transacting business it f-forces me to sit so, very + close to my clients.' + </p> + <p> + “'But I am not a client, Mr. M'Slime, and you need not draw your chair so + close to me—there now, that will do.' + </p> + <p> + “'You are my sweet—sweet girl; you are my client—and you shall + be my client—and upon a most important subject—the most + important of all; verily, Eliza, this is a most delicious cup of + refreshment. How did you flavor it—but, indeed, if I were, as I have + been, before I was graciously called and chosen, I would have recourse to + a harmless gallantry, and say that this most ambrosial beverage must have + caught its sweetness from your lips—its fragrance from your breath—and + its lustre from your eyes—I would say so—if I were as I have + been—and, indeed, as I am—even yet, frail, Eliza, still frail, + and very far, indeed, from perfection—but—still, even as I am + I could scarcely scruple to relapse a little—yea, only a little, + Eliza, for the sake of such lips—of such eyes—and such a + fragrant breath. Alas! we are all frail.' + </p> + <p> + “'But, Mr. M'Slime, I surely didn't think that you who stand so high in + the religious world, and that the people look upon as a saint, would talk + as you do.' + </p> + <p> + “'Ah, Eliza, my dear girl, it is very natural for you in your hitherto + darkened state to say so; but, sweet Eliza, if you had your privileges, + you could understand me. For instance, in the indulgence of this precious + little dialogue with you, I am only following up a duty that strengthens + myself; for, Eliza, my precious creature, if more light were given you, + you would be permitted to feel that an occasional lapse is for our good, + by showing us our own weakness and how little we can do of ourselves. No—there + is nothing which gives us so much confidence and strength as to know our + own weakness; but, my sweet girl, of what use is it for us to know it, if + we do not feel it; and why feel it—unless we suffer it for better + purposes to teach us a practical lesson to humble us.' + </p> + <p> + “'That's queer doctrine, Mr. M'Slime, and I don't properly understand it.' + </p> + <p> + “'I know you don't, my darling girl; for it has not been given to you, as + yet, to understand it. Nay, it seems, as it were, a stumbling block to + you, in your present state.' + </p> + <p> + “'Why, do you think me so very great a sinner, sir?' + </p> + <p> + “'Not by acts, Eliza—and what a soft name is Eliza—soft as a + pillow of down—but by condition. You are exalted now, upon pride—not + personal pride, but the pride of position. You think you are incapable of + error or infirmity, but you must be brought—down to a sense of your + own frailty, as it were, for it is upon a consciousness of that, that you + must build.' + </p> + <p> + “'That is to say, I must commit sin first, in order to know the grace of + repentance afterwards.' + </p> + <p> + “'You put it too strongly, Eliza; but here is the illustration:—You + know it is said 'there is joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, + more than over ninety and nine just men.' And I know many, Eliza, who go + through a long course of virtuous iniquity, in order that their triumph in + the end may be the greater. I have myself practised it on a small way, and + found it refreshing. And now, Eliza, bring me another cup of brandy and + water, even for my stomach's sake; and, Eliza, my charming girl, put it to + those sweet lips—that it may catch the true fragrance—Christian + fragrance I wish I could say—for they are fragrant lips—and a + sweet arm—a full tapering arm you are gifted with. Ah! Eliza, if you + could feel as I feel—nay, it was the chair that was unsteady—my + my heart is dis—dissolving, Eliza. If you were only a little more + frail, my sweet girl—we could feel this a kind of religious + exercise. Oh! these precious little frailties—these precious little + frailties!' + </p> + <p> + “'Mr. M'Slime you will excuse me, but I think you have got enough, and a + little too much liquor. If you should be seen going home in an unsteady + state your character would suffer.' + </p> + <p> + “'Another cup of refreshment, Eliza—but I am not perfection—no—nor + would I be perfection. What would life be without these precious little + frailties—that make us what we are.' + </p> + <p> + “'With all piety and undher———' + </p> + <p> + “'Who is that,' inquired the maid, evidently startled, if not affrighted + by a strange voice. + </p> + <p> + “'I join—join you, brother M'Slime, for another cup of refreshment.' + </p> + <p> + “'Bob Spaight—brother Bob—I am glad you are here; Eliza, my + darling—my dove—another cup for Bob, and after that we shall + aid each other home—will render one another Christian and mutual + assistance.' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes,' replied Bob, clearing his voice:— + </p> + <p> + (Both voices simultaneously:) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Bob—'King James he pitched his tents between + + Solomon—'There's naught but care on every hand, + + Bob—'The lines for to retire, + + Solomon—'In every hour that passes, O + + Bob—'But King William threw his bomb balls in, + + Solomon—'What signifies the life o' man, + + Bob—'And set them all on fire.' + + Solomon—'An' 'twerna for the lasses, O!' +</pre> + <p> + “Many thanks, sweet Eliza—oh! that I could say my frail Eliza; but I + shall be able to say so yet, I trust; I shall be able to say so.' + </p> + <p> + “'God forbid,' she replied. 'This is not for you, Mr. M'Slime—I + certainly will give you no more this night. But Bob here is a favorite of + mine. Bob, you will see Mr. M'Slime home?' + </p> + <p> + “'In all piety and truth, I shall see that burning and shining light + home,' returned Bob; 'in the meantime I will thank you for the loan of a + lanthorn; the night is one of most unchristian darkness.' + </p> + <p> + “Solomon had now reclined his head upon the table as if for sleep, which + he very probably would have indulged in, despite of all opposition; but + just at this moment his horse, car, and servant most opportunely arrived, + and with the aid of Bob, succeeded in getting him away, much against his + own inclination; for it would appear by his language that he had no + intention whatsoever of departing, if left to himself. + </p> + <p> + “'I shall not go,' said he; 'it is permitted to me to sojourn here this + night. Where is Eliza? Oh! Eliza, my darling—these precious little + frailties.' + </p> + <p> + “'Bring the little hypocrite home out of this,' said she, with a good deal + of indignation; for, in truth, the worthy saint uttered the last words in + so significant a voice, with such a confidential crow, as might have + thrown out intimations not quite favorable to her sense of propriety on + the occasion. He was literally forced out, therefore; but not until he had + made several efforts to grasp Eliza's hand, and to get his arm around her. + </p> + <p> + “'She's a sweet creature—a delightful dove; but too innocent. Oh! + Eliza, these precious little frailties!—these precious little + frailties!' + </p> + <p> + “'It's a shame,' said Eliza, 'and a scandal to see any man making such + pretensions to religion, in such a state.' + </p> + <p> + “'In all piety and truth,' said Bob, 'I say he's a burning and a shining + light!' + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “' King James he pitched his tents between + Their lines for to retire,' &c., &c. +</pre> + <p> + “And so they departed, very much to the satisfaction of Eliza and Boots, + who were both obliged to sit up until his departure, although fatigued + with a long day's hard and incessant labor. I also retired to my pillow, + where I lay for a considerable time reflecting on the occurrences of the + night, and the ease with which an ingenious hypocrite may turn the forms, + but not the spirit of religion, to the worst and most iniquitous purpose.” + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + And thus far our friend, Mr. Easel, whom we leave to follow up his + examinations into the state of the Castle Cumber property, and its + management, hoping that discoveries and disclosures may at some future day + be of service to the tenantry on that fine estate, as well as to the + country at large. In the meantime, we beg our readers to accompany us to + the scene of many an act of gross corruption, where jobs, and jobbing, and + selfishness in their worst shapes, aided by knavery, fraud, bigotry, party + rancor, personal hate, and revenge long cherished—where active + loyalty and high political Protestantism, assuming the name of religion, + and all the other passions and prejudices that have been suffered to + scourge the country so long—have often been in full operation, + without check, restraint, or any wholesome responsibility, that might, or + could, or ought to have protected the property of the people from rapine, + and their persons from oppression. The scene we allude to is the Grand + Jury Room of Castle Cumber. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI.—Darby's Piety Rewarded + </h2> + <p> + —A Protestant Charger, with his Precious Burthen—A Disaffected + Hack supporting a Pillar of the Church—A Political and Religious + Discussion in a Friendly Way + </p> + <p> + The Assizes had now arrived, and the Grand Panel of the county met once + more to transact their fiscal and criminal business. We omit the grand + entry of the Judges, escorted, as they were, by a large military guard, + and the <i>posse comitatus</i> of the county, not omitting to mention a + goodly and imposing array of the gentry and squirearchy of the immediate + and surrounding districts, many of Whom were pranked out in all the + grandeur of their Orange robes. As, however, we are only yet upon our way + there, we beg you to direct your attention to two gentlemen dressed in + black, and mounted each in a peculiar and characteristic manner. One of + them is a large, bloated, but rather handsome, and decidedly aristocratic + looking man, with a vermilion face, mounted upon a splendid charger, whose + blood and action must have been trained to that kind of subdued but + elegant bearing that would seem to indicate, upon the part of the animal, + a consciousness that he too owed a duty to the Church and Constitution, + and had a just right to come within the category of a staunch and loyal + Protestant horse, as being entrusted with the life, virtues, and dignity + of no less a person than the Rev. Phineas Lucre—all of which are now + on his back assembled, as they always are, in that reverend gentleman's + precious person. Here we account at once for the animal's cautious + sobriety of step, and pride and dignity of action, together with his + devoted attachment to the Church and Constitution by which he lived, and + owing to which he wore a coat quite as sleek, but by no means so black as + his master's. The gentleman by whom he appears to be accompanied, much—if + we can judge by their motions—against his will, seems to be quite as + strongly contrasted to him, as the rough undressed hack upon which he is + mounted is to the sanctified and aristocratic nag that is honored by + bearing the Rev. Phineas Lucre. The hack in question is, nevertheless, a + stout and desperate looking varmint, with a red vindictive eye, moving, + ill-tempered ears, and a tail that seems to be the seat of intellect, if a + person is to take its quick and furious whisking as being given in reply + to Mr. Lucre's observations, or by way of corroboration of the truth + uttered by the huge and able-bodied individual who is astride of him. That + individual is no other than the Rev. Father M'Cabe, who is dressed in a + coat and waistcoat of coarse black broadcloth, somewhat worse for the + wear, a pair of black breeches, deprived of their original gloss, and a + pair of boots well greased with honest hog's lard—the fact being, + that the wonderful discovery of Day and Martin had not then come to light. + Mr. M'Cabe has clearly an unsettled and dissatisfied seat, and does not + sit his horse with the ease and dignity of his companion. In fact, he + feels that matters are not proceeding as he could wish, neither does the + hack at all appear to bear cordiality or affection to the state which + keeps him on such short commons. They are, by no means, either of them in + a state of peace or patience with the powers that be, and when the priest, + at the conclusion of every sentence, gives the garran an angry dash of the + spurs, as much as to say, was not that observation right, no man could + mistake the venomous spirit in which the tail is whisked, and the head + shaken, in reply. + </p> + <p> + It is scarcely necessary to say that either Mr. Lucre or Mr. M'Cabe were + at all upon terms of intimacy. Mr. M'Cabe considered Mr. Lucre as a + wealthy epicure, fat and heretical; whilst Mr. Lucre looked upon Father + McCabe as vulgar and idolatrous. It was impossible, in fact, that with + such an opinion of each other, they could for a moment agree in anything, + or meet as men qualified by the virtues of their station to discharge on + any one duty in common. On the day in question, Mr. Lucre was riding + towards Castle Cumber, with the pious intention of getting Darby O'Drive's + appointment to the under jailorship confirmed. This was one motive, but + there was another still stronger, which was, to have an interview with the + leading men of the Grand Jury, for the purpose of getting a new road run + past his Glebe House, in the first place, and, in the next, to secure a + good job for himself, as a magistrate. At all events he was proceeding + towards Castle Cumber, apparently engaged in the contemplation of some + important subject, but whether it was the new road to his glebe, or the + old one to heaven, is beyond our penetration to determine. Be this as it + may, such was his abstraction, that he noticed not the Rev. Father M'Cabe, + who had ridden for some time along with him, until that gentleman thought + proper to break the ice of ceremony, and address him. + </p> + <p> + “Sir, your most obedient,” said the priest; “excuse my freedom—I am + the Rev. Mr. M'Cabe, Catholic Curate of Castle Cumber; but as I reside in + the parish it is very possible you don't know me.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre felt much hurt at the insinuation thrown out against his long + absence from the parish and replied:— + </p> + <p> + “I do not, sir, in the least regret our want of intimacy. The character of + your ministry in the parish is such, that he who can congratulate himself + on not being acquainted with you has something to boast of. Excuse me, + sir, but I beg to assure you, that I am not at all solicitous of the honor + of your company.” + </p> + <p> + “Touching my ministry,” said the priest, “which it pleases you to condemn, + I'd have you to know, that I will teach my people how to resist oppression + so long as I am able to teach them anything. I will not allow them to + remain tame drudges under burthens that make you and such as you as fat + and proud as Lucifer.” + </p> + <p> + “I request you will be good enough, sir, to take some other way,” said Mr. + Lucre; “you are a rude and vulgar person whom I neither know nor wish to + know. The pike and torch, sir, are congenial weapons to such a mind as + yours; I do beg you will take some other way, and not continue to annoy me + any longer.” + </p> + <p> + “This way, man alive—” + </p> + <p> + “Man alive! To whom do you address such, a term?” said Mr. Lucre; “I + really have never met so very vulgar a person; I am quite sickened, upon + my honor. Man alive!! I trust I shall soon get rid of you.” + </p> + <p> + “This way, man alive,” responded the priest, “is as free to me, in spite + of corrupt jobs and grand juries, as it is to you or any other tyrant, + whether spiritual or temporal. If there are turbulence and disturbances in + this parish, it is because bad laws, unjustly administered, drive the + people, first, into poverty, and then into resistance. And, sir, you are + not to tell me, for I will not believe it, that a bad law, dishonestly and + partially administered, is not to be resisted by every legal means.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you call noon-day murder, midnight assassination, and incendiarism, + legal? Do you call schooling the people into rebellion, and familiarizing + them with crime, legal? All this may be allegiance to your pope, but it + deserves a halter from the king and laws, of England.” + </p> + <p> + “The king and laws of England, sir, have ever been more liberal of halters + to the Irish Catholics, than they have been of either common justice or + fair play. What do the Catholic people get, or have ever got, from you and + such as you, in return for the luxury which you draw, without thanks, from + their sweat and labor, but gaols, and chains, and scourges, and halters. + Hanging, and transportations, triangles, and drumhead verdicts, are + admirable means to conciliate the Catholic people of Ireland.” + </p> + <p> + “The Catholic people of Ireland may thank you, and such red hot + intemperate men as you, for the hangings, and transportations which the + violated laws of the country justly awarded them.” + </p> + <p> + “And have you, sir, who wring the blood and sweat out of them, the + audacity to use such language to me? Did not your English kings and your + English laws make education a crime, and did you not then most inhumanly + and cruelly punish us for the offences which want of education + occasioned?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes; because you made such knowledge as you then acquired, the vehicle, + as you are doing now, of spreading abroad disaffection against Church and + State, and of disturbing the peace of the country.” + </p> + <p> + “Because, proud parson, when the people become enlightened by education, + they insist, and will insist upon their rights, and refuse to be pressed + to death by such a bloated and blood-sucking incubus as your Established + Church.” + </p> + <p> + “If this be true, then, upon your own showing, you ought to be favorable + to education among the people; but that, we know you are not. You have no + schools; and you will not suffer us, who are willing, to educate them for + you.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly not, we have no notion to sit tamely by and see you, and such + as you, instil your own principles into our flocks. But in talking of + education, in what state, let me ask you, is your own church in this + blessed year of 1804, with all her wealth and splendor at her back? I tell + you, sir, in every district where the population is equal, we can show two + Catholic schools for your one. When you impute our poverty, sir, as a + reluctance to educate our people, you utter a libel against the Catholic + priesthood of Ireland for which you deserve to be prosecuted in a court of + justice, and nailed snugly to the pillory afterwards.” + </p> + <p> + “Nailed snugly to the pillory! I never felt myself so much degraded as by + this conversation with you.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, the Catholic priesthood have always been at their duty at the bed of + sickness, and sorrow, and death, among the poor and afflicted; where you, + who live by their hard and slavish labor, have never been known to show + your red nose.” + </p> + <p> + “Red nose—ha—ha—dear me, how well bred, how admirably + accomplished, and how finely polished. Red nose!” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, you did well to correct me, it is only a mulberry. Wasn't your + Irish Establishment in a blessed torpor—dying like a plethoric + parson after his venison or turtle, until ould Jack Wesley roused it? + Then, indeed, when you saw your flocks running to barns and hedges after + the black caps, and the high-cheeked disciples of sanctity and strong + dinners—you yawned, rubbed your eyes, stroked your dewlaps, and + waddled off to fight in your own defence against the long-winded invaders + of your rounds and sirloins. Where was your love of education before that + shock, my worthy Bible man? Faith, I'm peppering you!” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, if I could have anticipated such very vulgar insolence, I would have + taken some other way. Why obtrude yourself thus upon me? I trust you have + no notion of personal Violence?” + </p> + <p> + “Wesley nudged you.” + </p> + <p> + “Nudged us! I do not understand your slang at all, my good sir. Those who + are taken from the ditch to the college, and sent back from the college + with the crust of their original prejudices hardened upon them, are not + those from whom educated men are to expect refinement or good manners.” + </p> + <p> + “From the ditch! We are taken from humble life, proud parson, to the + college; and it is better to enter college from the simplicity of humble + life, than to enter the church with the rank savor of fashionable + profligacy strong upon us. Not a bad preparation for a carnal + establishment, where every temptation is presented to glut every passion.” + </p> + <p> + “You forget, sir, what a system of abomination your church was before the + light of the Reformation came upon her; and what a mockery of religion she + is to this day.” + </p> + <p> + “Whatever I may forget, I cannot but remember the mockery of religion + presented by your proud and bloated Bishops who roll in wealth, indolence, + and sensuality; robbing the poor, whilst they themselves go to h—l + worth hundreds of thousands. I cannot forget that your church is a market + for venal and titled slaves, who are bought by the minister of the day to + uphold his party—that it is a carcass thrown to the wolfish, sons + and brothers of the English and Irish aristocracy—and that its + bishops and dignitaries exceed in pride, violence of temper, and insolence + of deportment, any other class of persons in society. Sure they have their + chaplains to pray for them—but my soul to glory—those that + pray by proxy will go to heaven by proxy—and so they ought. Eh—faith + I'm peppering you.” + </p> + <p> + “<i>De te fabula narratur</i>. Don't you live by praying for others? What + are your masses?” + </p> + <p> + “Fabula, why, a fibula for your fabula, man alive. What is your new + fangled creed, but a fabula from the beginning?” + </p> + <p> + “And are you yourself not a hireling in every sense of the word? Do you + not make merchandise of the crimes and ignorance of your people?” + </p> + <p> + “Make merchandise! This from you who take away a tenth part of the poor + man's labor without the consciousness of even professing his creed?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you ever worship the Lord aright, or address him in any language which + the people can understand?” + </p> + <p> + “And do you ever seek salvation with half the zeal displayed when you lay + your keen nostril to the trail of a fresh benefice or a fat mitre. Do you + not, most of you, think more of your hounds and kennels, than you do of + either your churches or your flocks?” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre at length pulled up his horse and fixing his eyes on Father + M'Cabe, inquired why he should have fastened upon him in so offensive a + manner; and Mr. M'Cabe pulling up the hack we spoke of, fixed a pair of + fiery orbs on him in return, and replied— + </p> + <p> + “I haven't done with you yet, my worthy parson. You needn't scowl, I say, + for if you had as many chins upon you as there are articles in your creed, + I wouldn't be prevented from bringing you to an account for interfering + with my flock.” + </p> + <p> + “Rude and wretched man, how?” + </p> + <p> + “By attempting to pervert Darby O'Drive, the bailiff, and seduce him over + to your heresies.” + </p> + <p> + “I would bring him over from his idolatry and superstition. But why do + you, sir, tamper with a man—named—named—let me see—Bob—Bob + Beatty, I think, who belongs to my congregation?” + </p> + <p> + “Simply because I wish to bring him over from a false church to the true + one.” + </p> + <p> + “It appears that because this simple person has been afflicted with + epilepsy, you have attempted, through some pious juggling or other, to + effect his cure, by enjoining him not to enter a church door or eat + swine's flesh during his life. Are you not ashamed, sir, of such ungodly + frauds as this?” + </p> + <p> + “Swine's flesh! Call it bacon, man alive, like a man. Yes, and I tell you + moreover, that I have cured him—and with a blessing shall cure him + better still, if that is any consolation to you. From being a purple + Orangeman, I have him now hard at work every day at his <i>Padderheen + Partha</i>. But I now caution you not to unsettle the religious principles + of Darby O'Drive, the bailiff.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, the man has no religious opinion, nor ever had; thanks to Mr. + M'Cabe.” + </p> + <p> + “And I'm bound to say, that such a thickheaded villian in religious + matters as Bob Beatty I never met. God knows I had a sore handful of him. + So, now remember my caution, and good bye to you; I think you'll know me + again when you meet me.” + </p> + <p> + Lucre gave him a haughty scowl ere the priest turned off a bridle road, + but made no other reply—not even by inclining his head to him; but, + indeed, it was hardly to be expected that he should. + </p> + <p> + Such is the anxiety to snap up a convert in Ireland, it matters not from + what church or to what church, that Mr. Lucre lost no time in securing the + appointment of honest Darby to the office of Castle Cumber Deputy Goaler—an + appointment to which both M'Clutchy and M'Slime strongly recommended him, + not certainly from an excess of affection towards that simple and worthy + man, but from a misgiving that an important portion of a certain + correspondence in the shape of two letters was in his possession, and that + so far they were prudent in declining to provoke his enmity. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0023" id="link2H_4_0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTEK XXII.—-Castle Cumber Grand Jury Room + </h2> + <p> + —A Concientious Hangman—Way to a Glebe House of More + Importance than the Way to Heaven—Irish Method of Dispensing Justice—Short + Debate on the Spy System—Genealogical Memoranda—Patriotic + Presentments—A Riverless Bridge + </p> + <p> + We pass now, however, to the Grand Jury Room of the county, and truly as a + subordinate tribunal for aiding the administration of justice, it was, at + the time of which we write, one of the most anomalous exhibitions that + could be witnessed. It was a long room, about thirty-six or forty feet in + length, by thirty, with a fire-place at each end, and one or two at the + sides. Above the chimney-piece was an oil painting of William the Third, + together with a small bronze equestrian statue of the same prince, and + another of George the Third. There were some other portraits of past and + present jurors, presented by themselves or their friends. But there was + certainly one which we cannot omit, although by whom presented, or on what + occasion, we are wholly unable to inform the reader. We are inclined to + think it must have been placed there by some satirical wag, who wished to + ridicule the extent to which mere royalty was carried in those days, and + the warmth of admiration with which its most besotted manifestations were + received. The picture in question was the portrait of a pious hangman, who + was too conscientious to hang any one but a Papist. They called him Jerry + Giles; a little squat fellow, with a face like a triangle, a broken nose, + and a pair of misplaced or ill-matched eye-brows, one of them being nearly + an inch higher up the forehead than the other. Jerry, it seems, had his + own opinions, one of which was, that there existed no law in the + constitution for hanging a Protestant. He said that if he were to hang a + Protestant felon, he would be forced to consider it in his conscience only + another name for suicide; and that, with a blessing, he would string up + none but such vile wretches as were out of the pale of the constitution, + and consequently not entitled to any political grace or salvation + whatever. And, indeed, upon the principles of the day, the portrait of + Jerry was nearly as well entitled to be hung among the grand jurors as + that of any one there. + </p> + <p> + Seated about a long table, covered with green baize, were a number of men, + with papers before them; whilst grouped in different parts of the room + were the younger persons, amusing themselves by the accidents of the last + meet—if it happened to be the hunting season—or the last duel, + or the last female victim to the corruption and profligacy of some of + those from whom, the people were to expect justice, and their families + protection. Others were whistling or humming some favorite air; and one of + them, a poet, was reading a squib which he had prepared for the + forthcoming election. + </p> + <p> + “Deaker, come here,” said the Foreman, “you are up to everything. Here is + Lucre, the parson, wants to have a presentment for a new line of road + running through his glebe, or to his glebe—for I suppose it is the + same thing.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” replied Deaker, “and let him have it. Isn't he as well entitled to + a job as any of us? What the devil—why not put a few feathers in his + nest, man? The county has a broad back.” + </p> + <p> + “His nest is better feathered than he deserves. He has two enormous + livings, a good private fortune, and now, indeed, he must come to saddle + himself upon the county in the shape of a job.” + </p> + <p> + “He has rendered good service, Mr. Hartley,” replied another of them; + “good service to the government, sir, with every respect for your + wonderful liberality and honesty.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, sir?” asked Hartley, sternly; “do you throw out any + imputation against my honor or my honesty?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Lord, no—by no means; I have no relish at all for your cold + lead, Mr. Hartley—only that I don't think you stand the best chance + in the world of being returned for Castle Cumber, sir—that is all.” + </p> + <p> + “Hartley,” asked another, with a loud laugh, “is it true that your cousin, + on bringing a message to young Phil M'Clutchy, pulled his nose, and kicked + him <i>a posteriore</i> round the room?” + </p> + <p> + “Ask his father, Dick,” said Hartley, smiling; “I have heard he was + present, and, of course, he knows best.” + </p> + <p> + “I say, Vulture,” inquired the other, “is it true?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” returned old Deaker, “as true as the nose on your face. That + precious Phil, was a cowardly whelp all his life—so was his father. + D—n you, sirra; where did you get your cowardice? I'm sure it was + not from me; that is if you be mine, which is a rather problematical + circumstance; for I take it you are as likely to be the descent of some + rascally turnkey or hatchman, and be hanged to you, as mine.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it true, Val,” persisted the former querist, “that young Hartley + pulled Phil's nose?” + </p> + <p> + “We have come here for other purposes, Dick,” said Val. “Certainly Phil + did not wish to strike the young man in his own house, and had more sense + than to violate the peace in the presence of a magistrate, and that + magistrate his own father.” + </p> + <p> + “How the devil did he put his comether on M'Loughlin's pretty daughter, + Val?” asked another from a different part of the room. + </p> + <p> + “That,” said Deaker, “is the only spirited thing I ever knew him to + manage. Is it true, Val, that he was found in her bedroom?” + </p> + <p> + “It is certainly true,” replied Val, with a smile of peculiar meaning; + “and with her own consent too.” + </p> + <p> + “That's false, Val,” replied Hartley; “and you know it. That he was in her + room for a couple of minutes is true; but that he was there for any + purpose prejudicial to her honor, that is, with her own consent, is false. + The whole thing was a cowardly trick on the part of your son, concocted by + the aid of old Poll Doolin, for the purpose of injuring the girl's + reputation.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said old Deaker, “I dare say you are right, Hartley, if Poll Doolin + was in it; but, d—n her, she's dangerous, even at a distance, if all + that's said of her be true. I say, Spavin”—this was a nickname given + to the Foreman, in consequence of a slight halt or lameness for which he + was remarkable—“are we not to find bills for something, against + Harman, who is about to be married to that wench.” + </p> + <p> + “What,” said Hartley, laughing, “is it on that account? I think if you + said so Deaker, you'd not be very far from the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “He murdered one of my fellows,” said M'Clutchy, “one of the staunchest + Protestants and loyalest men that ever was in the country; and, what is + more, he did it in cold blood.” + </p> + <p> + “You were not present,” said Hartley, “and consequently have no right to + attempt to prejudice the minds of the jury against him.” + </p> + <p> + “We shall find the bills for all that,” said Spavin, “the interference of + such fellows in the execution of the laws must be put a stop to.” + </p> + <p> + “You are right, Spavin,” said Sir William; “if we can't hang him, let us + send him across. He had no business to touch the hair of a blood-hound's + head. Gad, Hartley, this is pretty justice, isn't it? why didn't the + disloyal rascal stand and let himself be shot in obedience to the spirit + of the constitution, rather than molest a blood-hound. I tell you, my good + friends, that this method of managing things will bring about its own + remedy yet.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Sir William, you and Hartley would run well in a chaise together—both + always for the rebels.” + </p> + <p> + “Whom do you call the rebels?” + </p> + <p> + “Why the Papists, to be sure.” + </p> + <p> + “No more rebels, Moore, than you are,” replied Hartley—“I find a + Papist as good as another man, if he's as well and as fairly treated.” + </p> + <p> + “Irwin,” said a large gouty man, whose legs were wrapped in flannel, “of + course you've heard of Sir William's method of dispensing justice. Will + that too, sir, find its own remedy—eh? ha, ha, ha; d———e, + it's the most novel thing going.” + </p> + <p> + “No—how is it, Anderson?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, if two neighbors chance to fall out, or have a quarrel, and if it + happens also that they come to take the law of one another, as they call + it, what does the worthy baronet do, do you imagine? 'Well, my good + fellow,' proceeds our justice, 'you want to take the law of this man?' + </p> + <p> + “'Yes, your honor.' + </p> + <p> + “'And you want to take the law of him,' addressing the other. + </p> + <p> + “'I do, the rascal.' + </p> + <p> + “'Very well, my good friends, if you wish to get law you have come to the + wrong shop for it—we deal in nothing but justice here: so if you + prefer justice to law, you shall have it.' + </p> + <p> + “'Whichever your honor thinks is best for us.' + </p> + <p> + “'Very well, then; are you able to fight this man?' + </p> + <p> + “'Ha, ha, is it there you are, Sir William?' says the fellow, brightening, + 'able is it! ay, and willing too.' + </p> + <p> + “'And,' says the baronet, addressing the other again, 'are you a match for + him, do you think?' + </p> + <p> + “'Say no more, Sir William; only it was surely the Lord put the words into + your mouth.' + </p> + <p> + “'But,' proceeds Sir W., 'mark me, if you don't both abide by this battle—if + either of you, no matter which is beaten, shall attempt to get law + elsewhere, upon my honor and soul, I will prosecute you both.' The justice + being well furnished with a sheaf of cudgels for the purpose, selects one + for each, brings them quietly to the stable yard where he lets them fight + it out, each having first solemnly promised to abide the result.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that true, baronet?” + </p> + <p> + “Perfectly true,” replied Sir William; “but I fear that like some of your + wise and impartial proceedings here, it will soon work its own cure. The + business has increased so damnably—this dispensation of justice I + mean—on my hands, that my stable yard resembles a fives court rather + than anything else I know. The method harmonizes with their habits so + beautifully, that if there is an angry word between them it is only 'd—n + you, are you for Sir W.?' 'Yes, you villain step out.' They accordingly + come, and as they touch their hats, I ask, well, my good fellows, what do + you want now? 'Not law Sir William, but justice—the cudgels, plase + your honor.' In the beginning I was in the habit of making them relate the + cause of quarrel first, and then fight it out afterwards, but experience + soon taught me that all this was a mere waste of time. In general now, I + pass all that by; the complainants have their comfortable fight, as they + say, and go home perfectly satisfied.” + </p> + <p> + “Here, you secretary, what the devil are you at there? Why d——-e, + it wasn't to toss half crowns with that rascal of a treasurer you came + here, sir; let us get through the business, and then you may both toss off + to the devil, where you'll go at last.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said the secretary, “I placed the papers all arranged in proper + order before you.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir; I suppose you did; but who the devil can keep anything or + anybody in order, in such a Babel as this? Beevor, I'll thank you to + postpone the singing of your squib for the election; or take to the street + when our business is over, and give it to the crowd.” + </p> + <p> + “You be d——d, Spavin,” replied Beevor; + </p> + <p> + “I'll finish it, if the devil was at the back door.” + </p> + <p> + “Darcy,” said Deaker, addressing a thin, red-faced man beside him, “I saw + a pretty bit of goods in Castle Cumber market on Thursday.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Deaker,” replied the other, “is it possible that with one foot and + more than half your body in the grave, and your shadow in h—l, you + sinner, you have not yet given up your profligacy.” + </p> + <p> + “Eat, drink, and be merry, Tom, for tomorrow we die; but about this pretty + bit of goods—I tried to price her, but it wouldn't do; and when I + pressed hard, what do you think of the little tit, but put herself under + the protection of old Priest Roche, and told him I had insulted her.” + </p> + <p> + “Who is she, Deaker?” inquired a young fellow with a good deal of + libertine interest. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Bob,” replied Deaker, laughing; “there you are, one of the holy + triad. Here, Baronet—did you ever hear what Mad Jolly-block, their + father, the drinking parson of Mount Carnal, as some one christened his + residence, said of his three sons?—and that chap there's one of + them.” + </p> + <p> + “No; let us hear it.” + </p> + <p> + “'Dan,' said the father, speaking of the eldest, 'would eat the devil; + Jack,' the second, 'would drink the devil; and Bob, this chap here, 'would + both eat and drink him, in the first, place, and outwit him afterwards.' + That's Bob, the youngest—he there with a lip like a dropsical + sausage. He has sent him here to pick up a little honesty, and much + loyalty.” + </p> + <p> + “And a great deal of morality,” replied Bob, laughing, “from Deaker the + virtuous.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” replied Deaker; “you need never leave your Reverend father's + wing for that.” + </p> + <p> + “Deaker, do you fleece the poor as much as ever?” replied Bob. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, you are another sweet Agent, as times go. Do you touch them at the + renewals as usual?” + </p> + <p> + “Egad, Bob, I was very good at that; but there's an unmatrimonial son of + mine, Val the Vulture, there, and d—me, when I look back upon my + life, and compare it with his, it's enough to make me repent of my + humanity, to think of the opportunities I have neglected.” + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” observed Hartley, “it strikes me, no matter what the + multiplicity of other virtues we possess, there is somehow nothing like a + superabundance of shame among us; we appear to glory in our vices.” + </p> + <p> + “Why confound it, Hartley,” replied Deaker, “where's the use of assuming + what we do not and cannot feel? Would you have me preach honesty, who am + as d——d a rogue as there is here? Indeed, with the exception + of that whelp of mine, I believe the greatest—but that fellow's my + master.” + </p> + <p> + “Nobody can quarrel with your candor, Deaker, because it's all at your own + expense,” said the treasurer. + </p> + <p> + “Egad, and here it is at yours, Gilburne; with the exception always of + myself and my son, you are the deepest rogue here—and I am very much + afraid that your securities will be of my opinion when it is too late.” He + laughed heartily at this; and then, as usual, took to whistling his + favorite tune of the Boyne Water. + </p> + <p> + Our readers may perceive that there was among them an open, hardy scorn + not only of all shame, but of the very forms of common decency and + self-respect. The feelings, the habits, the practices, the distribution of + jobs and of jobbings, the exercise of petty authority, party spirit, and + personal resentment, all went the same way, and took the same bent; + because, in point of fact, there was in this little assembly of village + tyrants, no such thing as an opposition—for three or four—were + nothing—no balance of feeling—no division of opinion—and + consequently no check upon the double profligacy of practice and + principle, which went forward under circumstances where there existed a + complete sense of security, and an utter absence of all responsibility. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, we are losing a great deal of time unnecessarily,” observed + M'Clutchy, “let us first get through the business, and afterwards we will + be more at leisure for this trifling. The bills for Harman are not yet + found.” + </p> + <p> + “Not found,” replied Spavin, “why how soft you are, Val.” + </p> + <p> + “Why they are not,” reiterated Val. + </p> + <p> + “And why are they not?” + </p> + <p> + “Ask Counsellor Browbeater, the hard-faced barrister, that has the right + of Black Trot in the Castle, and he will tell you.” + </p> + <p> + “We all know that very well, Val, no thanks to your squeamishness,” + observed Deaker; “the truth is, he did not wish to let him out for a + reason he has,” he added, winking at the rest. + </p> + <p> + “Let us hear the calendar,” said Hartley, “and got through the business as + quickly as we can, secretary.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that Browbeater,” asked Sir William, “who was engaged in the spy + system a little before I returned from England—a d——d + scandalous transaction.” + </p> + <p> + “The spy system, Sir William, is a very useful one to government,” replied + Val, “and they would be devilish fools if they did not encourage it.” + </p> + <p> + “That may be your opinion, Mr. M'Clutchy,” said Sir William, “and your + practice, for aught I know; but, permit me to say, that it is not the + opinion of a gentleman, a man of honor, nor of any honest man, however + humble.” + </p> + <p> + “I perfectly agree with you, Sir William,” said Hartley, “and I despise + the government which can stoop to such discreditable treachery, for it is + nothing else. The government that could adopt such a tool as this + Browbeater, would not scruple to violate the sanctity either of private + life or public confidence, if it suited their interest—nay, I + question whether they would not be guilty of a felony itself, and open the + very letters in the post-office, which are placed there under the sacred + seal of public faith. However, never mind; proceed with the calendar.” + </p> + <p> + “Here is the case of some of your wreckers, M'Clutchy, charged here with + illegally, maliciously, and violently pulling down several houses in the + village of Crockaniska—assaulting and maltreating the unoffending + inhabitants.” + </p> + <p> + “Halt there a moment,” said Val; “rebels, every man of the said + inhabitants, which I can prove. My men, who are remarkable for their + Protestantism and loyalty, went upon private information—” + </p> + <p> + “More of the spy system,” said Hartley, smiling. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Hartley, you may smile, but truth is truth,” replied Val; “we had + private information that they had arms and rebellious papers, and the + latter we have got under the thatch of their cabins.” + </p> + <p> + “Private information!—still more of the spy system,” repeated + Hartley, smiling again. + </p> + <p> + “But not the arms?” asked Sir William. + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir William, not the arms; the rebels were too quick for us there.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, they expected you it seems,” observed Hartley; “and, if so, when + taking away the arms, I am anxious to know why they should have been such + fools as to leave the papers behind them.” + </p> + <p> + “I am not here to account for their conduct, sir,” replied Val, “but to + state the facts as they occurred—they may, for instance, not have + had time to bring them. It is not a month, for instance, since my fellows + in Still hunting—and talking of that, Mr. Hartley, will you allow me + to send you a couple of kegs of such stuff as is not to be had on every + hill head; I offer it from pure good will, for I really regret that there + should be any want of cordiality between our families.” + </p> + <p> + “Our families,” asked Hartley, with a look of surprise and indignation, + “our families, sir! what do you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, damn it, Hartley, don't explode; I mean nothing offensive between us—then, + dropping the families,” said Val, fawningly, for he saw the other's + nostril begin to dilate— + </p> + <p> + “And, you cowardly hound, why should you drop the families,” inquired + Deaker, taking fire; “do you forget, sirra, who your father was?” + </p> + <p> + “And do you forget, sirra,” resumed Hartley, “who your mother is?” + </p> + <p> + “Damn it,” replied Val, still with fawning good-humor, “how am I + accountable for their conduct before I had existence? I neither made them + as they were, nor as they are.” + </p> + <p> + “Then have the modesty,” said Hartley, “to forbear any allusion to them, + especially in the way of comparison.” + </p> + <p> + “For one of them, Hartley, I reply,” said Deaker, “that he is of a better + family than yourself; and don't imagine, my worthy fellow, that however + you may browbeat others, you will be permitted to bully or browbeat me. I + say, sir, there is better blood in my veins than ever ran through yours.” + </p> + <p> + “I had no intention of bullying or browbeating any man here,” replied + Hartley, “much less one whose age and virtues must prevent him—” + </p> + <p> + “Not from meeting you like a man,” said Deaker; “old as I am, I can yet + stand my ground, or if not, d—n me, I can tie a stake to my bottom, + and you may take that as a proof that I won't run away.” + </p> + <p> + “Nobody suspects you for that,” said the other. “Out of the long catalogue + of human virtues, courage is the only one loft you, or indeed, you ever + had—unless, indeed, it be the shameless and diabolical honesty of + glorying in your own vices.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Hartley!” replied Deaker, “you forget, that you had more vices, + and, hammers, too, in your family, and more brass, than ever I or mine + could' boast of. If the memory of that successful old tinker, your + grandfather, had not passed out of your mind, you would make no allusion + to vices or screws, and take care, my good hot-brained young fellow, that + you don't die in your family trade, and come to the pully yet.” + </p> + <p> + Hartley, who was hasty, but exceedingly good-natured, although certainly a + noted duelist, now burst out into a hearty laugh, as did most of the rest. + </p> + <p> + “Deaker,” said he, “there is no use in being angry with you, nor in being + ashamed that my fortune was created by industry and honesty, for both of + which virtues I have reason heartily to thank my good old grandfather, the + hardware man, as you have for thanking the sire of your father, the worthy + tailor, who had the honor of being appointed one of Peg Nicholson's + knights, ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + The laughter now became general and excessive; but not one of them + enjoyed, or seemed at least, to enjoy it with more good-humor than Val; + who, indeed, was never known to exhibit any want of temper to his equals + during his life. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he, “ha, ha, ha! now that that breeze has blown over—about + the poteen, Hartley?” + </p> + <p> + “Thanks, Val; but no poteen, if you please.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, gentlemen,” said Val, “to resume business; I was alluding to the + seizure of a Still about a month ago near Drum Dhu, where the parties just + had time to secure the Still itself, but were forced to leave the head and + worm behind them; now, that I give as a fair illustration of our getting + the papers, and missing the arms. Besides,” said he, in a wheedling and + confidential tone, addressed to a clique of his friends, the jobbers, whom + he joined at the lower end of the room, “you are all aware that my fellows + are staunch Orangemen, every one of them, and the government itself feels, + for I have reason to know it, that it is neither politic or prudent to + check the spirit which is now abroad among them; so far from that, I can + tell you it is expected that we should stimulate and increase it, until + the times change. The bills against these men must, therefore, be thrown + out.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll agree to that,” said a leading man of his own party, “only on one + condition. There are three of my own tenants, Papists to be sure, in for + distilling poteen. Now, we must have them out, Val, for one good turn + deserves another. + </p> + <p> + “But why?” inquired Val and his friends. + </p> + <p> + “Why, simply, because the poor fellows were distilling for myself,” he + replied; “all the apparatus were mine, and I can't think of allowing them + to be transported for my own act.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, then a bargain be it,” said Val, “so out they go.” + </p> + <p> + Whilst every man was thus working, either for his friends or against his + enemies, or not unfrequently both, Hartley, who, in point of fact, felt + always anxious to do as much good as he could, addressed Sir William: + </p> + <p> + “Have you no friends in difficulty, Sir William, or who require your + advocacy now? I see the jobbers are hard at work. Some working heaven and + earth to wreak the vengeance of law upon their enemies; others quite as + anxious to turn aside justice from their friends.” + </p> + <p> + “Eh! what's that!” said Sir William, starting up; “come, Hartley, you are + right; there are four of my tenants in for a fray—the M'Caffreys, + and the poor devils stand no chance with such a jury as they will have. I + hear them named below there—so let us join the jobbers as you say, + and see if we cannot get the Bills thrown out.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said Val, as they approached him, “the M'Caffreys go to + trial.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir William, excuse me,” said Hartley; “will you allow me to interfere, + in the first instance?” + </p> + <p> + “My dear fellow, certainly, with great pleasure, and I shall aid you as + far as I can.” + </p> + <p> + “Val,” said Hartley, in that kind of familiar tone which he knew would go + far with such a man as M'Clutchy, and which was in such accordance with + his own natural good-humor—“Val, my good fellow, and the best man of + business here, by the way, notwithstanding the poteen affair, I want you + to stand my friend and also Sir William's here.” + </p> + <p> + “How is that, Hartley?” + </p> + <p> + “There are four men in from the Mountain Bar, named M'Caffrey. Now we want + to have the Bills against them ignored; and simply for a plain reason—at + this season of the year any lengthy imprisonment would ruin them. It was a + faction fight or something of that kind, and of course there is no feeling + of a religious or party nature in it. Am I not right, Sir William?” + </p> + <p> + “Perfectly; the thing took place during my absence in England for the last + few months. Had I been at home, the matter would have been peaceably + decided in my own stable-yard.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” observed Val, “but it appears there was a man's life in danger.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, but, sir, his life is now out of danger.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but does not this,” rejoined Val in his most serious mood, “look + very like obstructing the course of justice?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you d——d scoundrel,” said the Baronet, “what, in + nineteen cases out of twenty, is done at every assizes where matters + connected with religion or politics are concerned, that ought not to be + called obstructing the course of justice?” + </p> + <p> + “We shall return true Bills, Sir William and that is the only reply I have + to make, except to thank you for your courtesy.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. M'Clutchy,” said Hartley, “I know your good sense and forbearance, + both of which are so creditable to you. These poor fellows will be ruined, + for both you and I know what kind of jury that is to try them.” + </p> + <p> + “An honest jury, Mr. Hartley,” said Mr, M'Clutchy, who was now beginning + to feel a little of his power—“an honest jury, Mr. Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + “I give you leave to say so, Val; but, in the meantime, I will accept one + favor from you, if you grant me two.” + </p> + <p> + “How is that sir?” asked Val. + </p> + <p> + “Send me that poteen you spoke of, and ignore the Bills against these + M'Caffreys.” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir,” replied Val, looking with his own peculiar beetle-browed smile + at Sir William, “I shall not; for by G—, we will find true Bills + against the four M'Caffreys. We might do something for humanity, Mr. + Hartley; but we are not to be made fools of before our own faces.” + </p> + <p> + “I do not understand you,” replied Hartley. + </p> + <p> + “He is nothing but a scoundrel, as I said,” returned Sir William—“that + is all; a low-born scoundrel; and it is a disgrace to see such a fellow's + name upon any Grand Jury list.” + </p> + <p> + “Hartley,” replied Spavin, “we do not wish to refuse either Sir William or + you in such a matter as this; but the fact is, M'Clutchy is right. This is + at bottom a party matter—a political matter, and you know it is.” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir; on my own part and on Sir William's I disclaim any such + knowledge.” + </p> + <p> + “You know, Hartley, you are canvassing the county.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, but what has that to do with these; men or their affairs?” + </p> + <p> + “What—why you know that if we ignore the Bills against them, they + will be out and ready to vote for you at the forthcoming election.” + </p> + <p> + Hartley looked at him with surprise but said nothing. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” he proceeded, “I will tell you what we will do. If you and Sir + William pledge your words, as men of honor, that you will not accept the + votes of these men, the matter you wish shall be managed.” + </p> + <p> + Sir William started to his feet. + </p> + <p> + “Great God,” said he, “is it not monstrous that an oath of secrecy should + bind us to conceal these inquiries?” + </p> + <p> + “It is monstrous, Sir William,” replied his friend; “I do believe there is + not such, a scene of shameless and hardened corruption on earth, as a + Grand Jury Room at the present day.” + </p> + <p> + This, however, they said rather aside to each other. + </p> + <p> + “No, sir,” replied Hartley to the last proposal, “neither I nor Sir + William shall enter into any such shameful compromise. I felt perfectly + satisfied of the slight chance of justice which these poor men had, and + will have from a jury so composed as theirs I know will be; and that was + the reason why I did not hesitate to try, if I could, with any effect, + save them from what I now perceive is designed for them—a political + punishment independent of crime.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind,” said Sir William, taking him aside, “never mind, Hartley; we + will be able to defeat them yet. I shall send for the prosecuting parties; + get them to withdraw proceedings, and immediately fight it out in my lawn + or stable-yard.” + </p> + <p> + After a great deal of similar squabbling and negotiation, the gentleman at + length got through the criminal calendar for the county, and with still + more startling honesty and disinterestedness, entered upon the + transactions of its fiscal business. Beaker, whenever he took no part in + the discussions that accompanied the settlement of each question, sat + reading a newspaper to the air of the Boyne Water, which he whistled from + habit in a low manner that was scarcely audible, unless to some one who + felt anxious to derive amusement, as several did, from the originality of + the performance. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said the secretary, “here is a list of the presentments. The + first is—For two miles and a quarter of a new road, running from + George Ganderwell's house at the Crooked Commons, out along Pat + Donnellan's little farm of the Stripe, through which it runs + longitudinally; then across Jemmy league's meadow, over the Muffin Burn, + then through widow Doran's garden, bisecting Darby M'Lorrinan's three acre + field, afterwards entering the Glebe, and passing close to the lodge of + the Rev. Phineas Lucre's avenue.” + </p> + <p> + “Is there any opposition to this?” inquired the chairman. + </p> + <p> + “Read the next,” said M'Clutchy, “and then we shall be the better able to + see.” + </p> + <p> + No. 2. “For four miles of road, commencing at the Ban Ard river, which it + crosses, running through Frank Fagan's croft, along Rogues Town, over Tom + Magill's Long-shot meadow, across the Sally Slums, up Davy Aiken's + Misery-meerin, by Parra Rakkan's haggard, up the Dumb Hill, into Lucky + Lavery's Patch, and from that right ahead to Constitution Cottage, the + residence of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., within two hundred yards of which + it joins the high road to Castle Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + “Now the question is,” said Val, “can both these be passed during this + term?” + </p> + <p> + “Val,” replied young Jollyblock, “if ever a man was afflicted with modesty + and disinterestedness you are he; and well becomes me the parson, too, in + his share of the job; but it's all right, gentlemen. Work away, I Say. The + Parson-magistrate, and the Agent-grand-juror have set us an excellent + example—ha—-In.—ha! Deaker, drop whistling the Boyne + Water there, and see what's going on here.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Deaker, “there never was such air composed as the Boyne Water; + and my only request is, that I may die whistling it. Damn it, Jollyblock, + unless a man is a good Protestant he's bad for everything else.” + </p> + <p> + “But how the devil Deaker, can you call yourself a good Protestant, when + you believe in nothing?” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Deaker, “I believe that a certain set of political opinions + are necessary for our safety and welfare in this world; and, I believe, + that these are to be found in the Church, and that it is good + Protestantism to abide by them, yes, and by the Church too, so long as she + teaches nothing but politics, as she does, and acts up to them.” + </p> + <p> + “And does your faith stop there?” + </p> + <p> + “How could it go farther with the lives of such men as your father and + Lucre staring me in the face? Precept, Dick, is of little value when + example is against it. For instance, where's the use of men's preaching up + piety and religion, when their own conduct is a libel upon their doctrine? + Suppose, now, there are two roads—and 'tis said there are: No. 1, + leading to an imaginary region, placed above; No. 2, to another imaginary + region, placed below—very good; the parson says to jon and to me, do + so and so, and take the No. 1 road; but, in the meantime, he does himself + the very reverse of this so and so, and takes the No. 2 road. Now, which + are we to respect most, his advice or his example?” + </p> + <p> + “Let us go on,” said Spavin, “perhaps there are others whose claims are as + modest and disinterested; we shan't say anything about being as well + founded. You secretary fellow, read away.” + </p> + <p> + “Before you go any farther,” said a droll-looking person named M'Small, + “you must pass me a bridge over Lumlay's Leap. Our party voted you about + thirty miles of roads to repair thoroughly, and you know that although you + only veneered them, we said nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” replied Val, “who ever heard of a bridge without water; and I know + there's not a stream within three miles of you.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind that,” replied M'Small, “let me have the bridge first, and + we'll see what can be done about the water afterwards. If God in his mercy + would send a wet winter next season, who knows but we might present for a + new river at the January assizes.” + </p> + <p> + “You must have it,” said Deaker, “give M'Small the bridge, and, as he + says, we'll see afterwards what can be done for a river for it.” + </p> + <p> + “M'Small,” said Hartley, “what if you'd get a presentment for a couple of + mountain water spouts; who knows but it might answer the purpose?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm afraid,” said M'Small, who, by the way, was a good deal of a + humorist, “I fear, Hartley, that the jurisdiction of the grand panel would + scarcely reach so high. In the meantime I shall think of it.” + </p> + <p> + The bridge, however, was not only passed, but built, and actually stands + to this day, an undeniable monument of the frugality and honesty of grand + jurors, and the affection which they were then capable of bearing to each + other, when their interests happened to be at stake, which was just four + times in the year. + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, the tumultuous battle of jobs in all its noise, + recrimination, and jangle of conflicting interests, and incredible + selfishness commenced. There were strong mutual objections to pass the + roads to Mr. Lucre and M'Clutehy, and a regular conflict between their + respective partisans accordingly took place. M'Clutchy's party were + absolutely shocked at the grossness and impiety of such a man as Mr. + Lucre, a person of such great wealth, an absentee, a nonresident-rector, + dipping his hand in the affairs of the county for the sake of a job. + </p> + <p> + His party, for he had a strong one, dwelt upon his rights as a civil + officer, a magistrate, and justice of quorum—upon his sterling + principles as a loyal Protestant, who had rendered very important services + to the Church and the government. It was such as he, they said, who + supported the true dignity and respectability of Protestantism, and it + would be a scandal to refuse him a road to his glebe. Deaker groaned + several times during this eulogium, and repeated his favorite text—let + us eat, drink, and be merry, for to-morrow we die; but whether its + application was designed for Lucre or himself, was not very easy—perhaps + we should rather say difficult to determine. + </p> + <p> + “That is all very true,” replied Val's party; “but in the meantime, it + would be quite as creditable for him to pay some attention to the + spiritual interests of his parish, and the condition of its tottering old + church, as to be mulcting the county for a job.” + </p> + <p> + “What can you know about his church,” inquired Spavin, “who have never + been seen in it, except on last Easter Monday, when you were candidate for + the church wardenship? M'Clutehy,” he added, “we all know you are a + Protestant of your father's color; it's the best Protestantism that puts + most into your pocket.” + </p> + <p> + “And on what other principle is Lucre himself now proceeding, or has ever + proceeded?” replied Val's friends—for Val himself had always a + wholesome repugnance to personal discussion. + </p> + <p> + In fact, one would have imagined, on hearing Val's party declaiming + against the selfishness of Lucre, that they themselves entertained a most + virtuous horror against jobs and corruptions of all kinds, and had within + them an actual <i>bona fide</i> regard for religion, in all its purity, + spiritual beauty, and truth; whilst on the contrary, the Lucreites, who + certainly had the worst cause, seemed to think that M'Clutchy, in + preferring his own corruption to that of the parson, was guilty of a + complete desertion of that sterling and mutually concessive Protestant + feeling which they considered to constitute its highest principle, and + absolutely to merge into the manifestation of something inimical to a + Protestant government. + </p> + <p> + At length it was suggested by him of the bridge, that in order to meet the + wishes of two such excellent men, and such admirable representatives of + pure Protestant virtue and spirit, it would be best to pass both + presentments on the present occasion, and drop or postpone some of the + minor ones until next term—a suggestion which was eagerly received + by both parties, inasmuch as it satisfied the rapacity of each, without + giving a victory to either. This, however, was far from terminating either + the business or the debates that arose out of the minor conflicting + interests of the jurors. A good deal of hanging fire there was also, but + given and returned in a better spirit, between. Val's friends and Lucre's. + </p> + <p> + “Why doesn't Lucre,” said the former, “afford us a little more of his + company in the parish?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” replied the Lucreites, “we suppose if he gave you more of his + venison and claret, he would experience less of your opposition.” + </p> + <p> + “I really am afraid to go to church,” said Val, who, now that the storm + had passed, resumed his usual insinuating habit of light sarcasm: “I am + afraid to go, lest the crazy old church, which really, between ourselves—I + speak of course in a friendly way now—is in a most shameful and + dangerous state, should fall upon me.” + </p> + <p> + “I did not think,” said M'Small, “that you had such a strong sense of your + own deserts left, Val!—I have some hopes of you yet.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said Val, “I fear that on your way to heaven, if you meet a + difficulty, you will not be likely to find a grand jury to build a bridge + for you across it.” + </p> + <p> + “I perfectly agree with you,” replied M'Small, “the face of a grand juror + will be a novel sight in that direction.” + </p> + <p> + “And in the other direction,” observed Hartley, “no bridges will be + wanted.” + </p> + <p> + “Why so?” said M'Small. + </p> + <p> + “Because,” he replied, “there will be such an absence of water as will + render them unnecessary.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” retorted another, “but as there will be plenty of grand jurors we + may do then as we did now, build the bridge without the water, and trouble + ourselves no further with the consequences.” + </p> + <p> + After much more conversation, partly on business, and partly on desultory + topics, the quarrellings, and bickerings, and all the noisy enmities of + that corrupt little world that is contained within—we should rather + say, that was contained within the walls of a grand jury room, ceased; + and, with the exception of one or two small matters of no consequence, + everything was settled, but not so as to give general satisfaction; for + there still remained a considerable number of grumblers, whose objects had + been either completely lost in greater corruption, or set aside for the + present. + </p> + <p> + “Here's another matter,” said Spavin, “which we had better settle at once. + A man here named O'Drive—Darby O'Drive—is to be appointed to + the under gaolership—he is strongly recommended by Mr. Lucre, as a + man that has renounced Popery.” + </p> + <p> + “That's enough, Spavin,” said Hartley, “that, I suppose, comprises all the + virtues necessary for an under gaoler, at all events.” + </p> + <p> + “You know him, M'Clutchy,” said one or two of them. + </p> + <p> + “He'll make a good under gaoler,” replied Val, “as there will be in + Europe. Appoint him, gentlemen; you will get no such man.” + </p> + <p> + “And that is just,” said Sir William aside to Hartley, “all that Val's + recommendation is good for.” + </p> + <p> + And thus closed as much as we feel necessary to describe of that + extraordinary scene—a grand jury room in the year 1804, or + thereabouts. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII.—A Rent Day + </h2> + <p> + —Relative Position of Landlord and Tenant—Grades of Tenantry—Phil's + Notion of Respect—Paddy Corrigan's Protestant Wig—Phil and + Solomon in a Fit of Admiration—The Widow Tyrrell. + </p> + <p> + One single week in the progress of time, after the exhibition last + described, had wonderfully advanced the catastrophe of our simple and + uncomplicated narrative. Harman, very much to the mortification of + M'Clutchy, was acquitted, the evidence being not only in his favor, but + actually of such a character, as to prove clearly that his trial was + merely one of those dishonest stretches of political vengeance which + characterized the times. On coming out, however, he found the affairs of + the firm in a state of bankruptcy and ruin. The insidious paragraphs in + the papers, masked with compassion, and “a hope that the affairs of this + respectable firm—which was hitherto supposed to be a solvent one—would, + still, be wound up in a way, they trusted, somewhat more satisfactory than + was given out by their enemies.” Nor was this the worst, so far as Harman + himself was concerned. The impression of Mary M'Loughlin's perfidy had + been now so thoroughly stamped into his heart, that he neither could, nor + would listen to any attempt upon the part of their mutual friends at her + vindication. This last stroke of anguish was owing, also, to Phil's + diabolical ingenuity. Harman on reflecting day after day, and hour by + hour, upon the occurrence, and comparing it with her conduct and confusion + on previous occasions, felt, as we before said, strongly inclined to + believe her guilty. He determined, however, not to rest here, but to sift + the matter to the bottom. He accordingly heard from his cousin, and from + several others, while in prison, such details of the particulars, and such + an authentic list of the persons who were present, many of whom, owing to + the ingenious malignity of Poll Doolin, were friendly and favorable to the + family—that he privately sent for them, and on comparing the + narratives one with the other, he found the harmony among them so strong, + that he gave up all thoughts of her, save such as recurred involuntarily + to his mind with indignation and anguish. In addition to his other + mortifications, it happened that the second day after his release from + imprisonment was what the agents call “Gale day;” that is, the day upon + which they get into their chair of state, as it were, and in all the + insolence of office receive their rents, and give a general audience to + the tenantry. Phil, indeed, even more than the father, looked forward to + these days with an exultation of soul and a consciousness of authority, + that fully repaid him for all the insults, disasters, and tweakings of the + nose, which he was forced to suffer during the whole year besides. In + truth, nothing could equal, much less surpass, the Pistolian spirit by + which this lion-hearted gentleman was then animated. His frown, swagger, + bluster, and authoritative shakings of his head, the annihilating ferocity + of his look, and the inflated pomp of manner with which he addressed them, + and “damned his honor,” were all inimitable in their way. The father was + more cautious and within bounds, simply because he had more sense, and + knew the world better; but, at the same time, it was easy to see by his + manner, that in spite of all his efforts at impartiality and justice, he + possessed the poison as well as the wisdom of the serpent, but not one + atom of the harmlessness of the dove. At another table, a little to the + right of M'Clutchy, sat M'Slime, ready to take his appropriate part in the + proceedings of the day, and prepared, whilst engaged in the task of seeing + that everything was done according to law, to throw in “a word in season, + touching the interests of the gospel.” + </p> + <p> + At length eleven o'clock arrived, and found Val, Phil, our old friend + Darby, who had not yet entered upon the duties of his office, together + with one or two other understrappers, all ready for business. The two + principal characters were surrounded by books, rentals, receipts, and + every other document necessary and usual upon such occasions. The day was + wet and cold, and by no means in the spirit of the season; but we know not + why it happens, that there seems in general to be a fatality of disastrous + weather peculiar to such days, leading one to imagine that the agent + possessed such a necromantic foreknowledge of the weather, as enabled him + to superinduce the severity of the elements upon his own cruelty. In a + country so poor as Ireland, the scene presented by a rent day is one too + impressive and melancholy ever to be forgotten by any heart touched with + benevolence. There is little, if any, of that erect freedom of demeanor + and natural exhibition of good will, which characterize conscious + independence and a sense of protection on the part of the tenant; whilst + on that of the agent or landlord there is a contemptuous hardness of + manner, a vile indifference, and utter disregard of the feelings of those + by whom he is surrounded, that might enable the shallowest observer to say + at a glance, there is no sympathy between that man and these people. + </p> + <p> + But that is not all. Give yourself time to observe them more closely, + listen to that agent pouring his insolent invective upon the head of this + poor man, whose only crime is his poverty, and whose spirit appears to be + broken down with the struggles and sufferings of life; yet, who hears his + honesty impugned, his efforts ridiculed, and his character blackened, + without manifesting any other than a calm spirit that looks inwards to his + own heart for the consciousness of these falsehoods. Look at this, we + repeat, and you will surely feel yourself forced to say—not that + there is no sympathy between these men, but there sits the oppressor and + there stands the oppressed. + </p> + <p> + But even this is not all. Bestow a still more searching glance upon the + scene. Here is more than invective; more than the imputation of dishonesty + and fraud; more than the cruel defamation of character in the presence of + so many. Mark the words of that agent or landlord again. He is sealing the + fate of this struggling man; he tells him he is to have no home—no + house to shelter himself, his wife, and their children; that he must be + dispossessed, ejected, turned out upon the world, without friends to + support or aid him, or the means to sustain their physical existence. Hear + all this, and mark the brow of that denounced man; observe how it knits + and darkens; how firmly he compressess his lips, and with what a long, + determined, gloomy gaze he surveys his denouncer—observe all this, + we repeat; and need you feel surprised, at finding yourself compelled to + go still farther, and say there sits a doomed man and there most assuredly + stands his murderer. + </p> + <p> + Let it not be supposed that we are capable of justifying murder, or the + shedding of human blood; but we are palliating, and ever shall palliate + that crime in the humble man, which originates in the oppression of the + great man. Is the act which banishes happiness and contentment—introduces + poverty, misery, destitution—which scatters out of the heart all the + little amenities and sweet endearments of life—which wastes away the + strength of the spirit, and paralyzes that of the hand—which dims + the eye and gives paleness to the cheek, and by combining all these + together makes home—yes, home, the trysting place of all the + affections, a thing to be thought of only with dread—an asylum for + the miseries of life;—is the act, we say, which inflicts upon a + human being, or a human family, this scathing and multitudinous curse—no + crime? In the sight of God and in the sight of man is it no crime? Yes! In + the sight of God and man it is a deep, an awful, and a most heartless + crime! To return, however, to our rent day. The whole morning was + unseasonably cold and stormy, and as there was but little shelter about + the place, we need scarcely say, that the poor creatures who were + congregated before the door were compelled to bear the full force of its + inclemency. + </p> + <p> + Indeed, it may be observed with truth, that when people are met together + under circumstances of a painful nature, they cannot relax or melt into + that social ease which generally marks those who come together with no + such restraint upon the heart or spirits. Here, too, as in every other + department of life, all the various grades of poverty and dependence fall + into their respective classes. In one place, for instance, might be seen + together those more comfortable farmers who were able to meet their + engagements, but who labored under the galling conviction, that, however + hard and severely industry might put forth its exertions, there was no + ultimate expectation of independence—no cheering reflection, that + they resided under a landlord who would feel gratified and proud at their + progressive prosperity. Alas! it is wonderful how much happiness a bad + landlord destroys! These men stood with their backs to the wind and storm, + lowly conversing upon the disastrous change which was coming, and had + come, over the estate. Their brows were lowered, their dialogue languid + and gloomy, and altogether their whole appearance was that of men who felt + that they lived neither for themselves or their families, but for those + who took no interest whatsoever in their happiness or welfare. + </p> + <p> + In another place were grouped together men who were still worse off than + the former—men, we mean, who were able to meet their engagements, + but at the expense of all, or mostly all, that constitutes domestic + comfort—who had bad beds, bad food, and indifferent clothes. These + persons were far more humbled in their bearing than the former, took a + less prominent situation in the crowd, and seemed to have deeper care, and + much more personal feeling to repress or combat. It is an indisputable + fact, that the very severe and vexatious tyranny exercised over them had + absolutely driven the poor creatures into hypocrisy and falsehood—a + general and almost uniform consequence of conduct so peculiarly + oppressive. They were all, at best, God knows, but very poorly clothed; + yet, if it so happened that one or two of them, somewhat more comfortable + than the rest, happened to have got a new coat a little before gale day, + he invariably declined to appear in it, knowing, as he did, that he should + receive a torrent of abuse from the agent, in consequence of “getting fat, + impudent, and well-dressed on his Lordship's property;” terms of abuse, + which, together with the cause that produced them, are at this moment well + known to thousands as expressions whose general occurrence on such, + occasions has almost fixed them into proverb. Will our English neighbors + believe this? That we know not, but we can assure them that they may. + </p> + <p> + There were other groups farther down in the scale of distress, where + embarrassment and struggle told a yet more painful tale; those who came + with their rent, in full to be sure, but literally racked up from their + own private destitution—who were obliged to sell the meal, or oats, + or wheat, at a ruinous loss, in order to meet the inexorable demands of + the merciless and tyrannical agent. Here were all the' external evidences + of their condition legible by a single look at their persons; they also + herded together, ill clad, ill fed, timid, broken down, heartless. All + these, however, had their rents—had them full and complete in + amount; now the reader may well say, this picture is, indeed, very + painful, and I am glad it is closed at last. Closed! oh, no, kind reader, + it is not closed, nor could it be closed by any writer acquainted either + with the subject or the country. What are we to say of those who had not + the rent, and who came there only to make that melancholy statement, and + to pray for mercy? Here was raggedness, shivering—not merely with + the cold assault of the elements—but from the dreaded apprehension + of the terrible agent—downcast looks that spoke of keen and cutting + misery—eyes that were dead and hopeless in expression—and + occasionally, a hasty wringing of the hands, accompanied by an expression + so dejected and lamentable, as makes us, when we cast our eye in + imagination upon such men as Valentine M'Clutchy, cry out aloud, “where + are the lightnings of the Almighty, and why are his thunderbolts asleep?” + There was there the poor gray-haired old man—the grandfather—accompanied, + perhaps, by his promising young grandsons, left fatherless and motherless + to his care, and brought now in order that the agent might see with his + eyes how soon he will have their aid to cultivate their little farm, and + consequently, to make it pay better, he hopes. Then the widow, tremulous + with the excess of many feelings, many cares, and many bitter and + indignant apprehensions. If handsome herself, or if the mother of + daughters old enough, and sufficiently attractive, for the purposes of + debauchery, oh! what has she to contend with? Poor, helpless, friendless, + coming to offer her humble apology for not being able to be prepared for + the day. Alas! how may she, clutched as she is in the fangs of that man, + or his scoundrel and profligate son—how may she fight out the noble + battle of religion, and virtue, and poverty, against the united influences + of oppression and lust, wealth and villany. + </p> + <p> + The appearance of these different groups—when the inclemency of the + day, their sinking hearts, and downcast pale countenances, were taken into + consideration—was really a strong exponent of the greatest evil + which characterizes and oppresses the country—the unsettled state of + property, and of the relative position of landlord and tenant in Ireland. + </p> + <p> + At length the hall-door was opened, and a hard-faced ruffian came out upon + the steps, shouting the name of a man named O'Hare. The man immediately + approached the steps, and after shaking the heavy rain out of his big + coat, and having whisked his hat backwards and forwards several times, + that he might not soil his honor's office, he was brought in, and having + made his humble bow, stood to hear his honor's pleasure. His honor, + however, who had divided the labor between himself and Phil, had also, by + an arrangement which was understood between them, allotted that young + gentleman, at his own request, a peculiar class marked out in the rental, + in which class this man stood. “O'Hare,” said Val, “how do you do?” + </p> + <p> + “Upon my conscience, your honor, but poorly,” replied O'Hare, “the last + heavy fit of illness, joined to the bad times, sir—” + </p> + <p> + “O'Hare,” said Solomon, “suffer me humbly, and without assuming anything + to myself, to point out to you the impropriety of swearing; I do it, my + friend, in all humility; for I fear, that so long as you indulge in that + most sinful practice, the times will seldom be other than bad with you, + or, indeed, with any one that gives way to so Wicked a habit. Excuse me, + O'Hare, I speak to you as a Christian, I humbly trust.” + </p> + <p> + “By G—, that's good, father,” exclaimed Phil, “M'Slime preaching to + such a fellow as this!” + </p> + <p> + “I humbly thank you, sir,” said O'Hare to Solomon, “for your kindness in—” + </p> + <p> + “Thank the devil, sirra,” said Phil; “What the devil does he or I care + about your d——d thanks. Have you your rent?” + </p> + <p> + The man, with trembling hands, placed some notes, and gold, and silver + before him—the latter being rolled up in the former. + </p> + <p> + “I'm short for the present,” he added, “just thirty shilling, sir; but you + can give me an acknowledgment for the sum I give you now: a regular + receipt will do when I bring you the balance, which, God willin', will be + in about a fortnight.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, and this is your rent, Mr. O'Hare,” exclaimed Phil, gathering up the + money into a lump, and with all his force flinging it at the man's head; + “this is your rent, Mister O'Hare,” placing an emphasis of contempt on the + word Mr.; “thirty shillings short, Mr. O'Hare, but I'll tell you what, Mr. + O'Hare, by —-, if you don't have the full rent for me in two hours, + Mr. O'Hare, I'll make short work, and you may sleep on the dunghill. I can + in ten minutes get more rent than you pay, Mr. O'Hare, so now go to h—l, + and get the money, or out you go.” + </p> + <p> + The poor man stooped down, and with considerable search and difficulty, + succeeded in picking up his money. + </p> + <p> + “In two hours, sir,” said he, “I could never do it.” + </p> + <p> + “That's your own business,” said Phil, “not mine—if you have it not + for me in two hours, out you go; so now be off to hell out of this, and + get it.” + </p> + <p> + Val, who had been poring over an account-book, now raised his head, as if + disturbed by the noise for the first time— + </p> + <p> + “What's the matter?” said he, “what is it, Phil?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, d—n my honor,” replied Phil, “but that scoundrel O'Hare, had + the assurance to come to me thirty shillings short of his rent, and, what + is more, only brought me a part of it in gold!” + </p> + <p> + “God help me!” exclaimed poor O'Hare, “I know not what to do—sure I + did the—best I could.” + </p> + <p> + He then went out to the hall, and was about to leave the house, when Val + rising, called him into another room, where both remained for a few + minutes, after which the man went away, thanking his honor, and praying + God to bless him; and Val, having; seated himself at the desk, appeared to + feel rather pleased at their little interview than otherwise. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my dear friend, M'Clutchy,” said Solomon, “you are a treasure in your + way—when you do a kind act it is always in secret, ever mindful of + our spiritual obligations, my friend.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Val, “a man is not always to trumpet forth any little act of + kindness he may choose to render to a poor simple fellow like O'Hare. You + mustn't mind him, Phil—I have told him not to be in a hurry, but to + take his time.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said Phil, who had just knowledge enough of his father's + villany, to feel satisfied, that in whatever arrangement took place + between them, O'Hare's interest was not consulted;* “very well; d—n + my honor, I suppose it's all right, old cock.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * This scene is verbatim et literatim from life. +</pre> + <p> + Our readers, we presume, have already observed, that however tenderly our + friend Solomon felt for the shearing habit of the poor, he was somehow + rather reluctant in offering a word in season to any one else. What his + motive could be for this we are really at a loss to know, unless it + proceeded from a charitable consciousness, that as there was no earthly + hope of improving them by admonition, it was only deepening their + responsibility to give it—for Solomon was charitable in all things. + </p> + <p> + “Call in Tom Maguire, from Edenmore,” said Val. “Now,” he proceeded, “this + is a stiff-necked scoundrel, who refuses to vote for us; but it will go + hard, or I shall work him to some purpose. Well, Maguire,” he proceeded, + after the man had entered, “I'm glad to see you—how do you do?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm much obliged to you, sir,” replied the other—“why just able to + make both ends barely meet, and no more; but as the time goes, sure it's + well to be able to do that same, thank goodness.” + </p> + <p> + “Tom,” said Solomon, “I am pleased to hear you speak in such a spirit; + that was piously expressed—very much so indeed.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Tom,” proceeded Val; “I suppose you are prepared?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir,” replied Tom, who, by the way, was a bit of a wag; “you know, + or at least Mr. M'Slime does, that it's good to be always prepared. The + rent in full is there, sir,” he added, laying it down on the table; “and + I'll thank you for the receipt.” + </p> + <p> + Val deliberately reckoned over the gold—for in no other coin would + he receive it—and then drew a long breath, and appeared satisfied, + but not altogether free from some touch of hesitation. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said he, “it is all right, Tom, certainly—yes, certainly, it + is all right. Darby, fill Tom a bumper of whiskey—not that—I + say the large glass, you scoundrel.” + </p> + <p> + “Throth, Captain, 'tisn't my heart 'ud hindher me to give him the largest + in the house; but I have a conscientious scruple against doin' what I + believe isn't right. My Bible tells me—. Well, well, sure I'm only + obeying orders. Here, Tom,” he added, handing him the large bumper. + </p> + <p> + “Confound the fellow,” said Val; “ever since he has become a convert to + Mr. Lucre there's no getting a word out of him that hasn't religion in + it.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Captain,” replied Darby, “sure Mr. M'Slime there knows, that 'out of + the abundance of the heart the mouth spaiketh.'” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot answer for what you are latterly, Darby,” replied Solomon—“thank + you, Tom,” to Maguire, who had held his glass in his hand for some time, + and at length hurriedly drank their healths;—“but I know that the + first spiritual nutrition you received, was at least from one who belonged + to an Apostolical Church—a voluntary Presbytery—unpolluted by + the mammon of unrighteousness, on which your Church of Ireland is + established.” + </p> + <p> + “But you know,” said Darby, “that we're ordhered to make for ourselves, + friends of that same mammon of unrighteousness.” + </p> + <p> + “Upon my honor,” said Phil, “I know that you're a hypocritical old + scoundrel. Be off to h—l, sir, and hold your tongue.” + </p> + <p> + “Throth and I will, Captain Phil—I will then,” and he was silent; + but his face, as he glanced first at Tom Maguire, and then at Solomon and + the rest, was a perfect jewel, beyond all price. + </p> + <p> + “Tom,” proceeded Val, “I hope you've thought over what I mentioned to you + on our canvass the other day?” + </p> + <p> + “I have, sir,” said Tom, “and I'm still of the same opinion. I'll vote for + Hartley and no other.” + </p> + <p> + “You don't imagine of what service Lord Cumber and I could be of to you.” + </p> + <p> + “I know of no service Lord Cumber ever was to any of his tenants,” replied + Maguire; “except, indeed, to keep them ground to the earth, in supportin' + his extravagance, and that he might spend their hard earnings in another + country, not caring one damn whether they live or starve. It's for that + raison, sir, I vote, and will vote against him.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but,” said Val, whose brow began to darken, “you have not + considered what an enemy he can be to those like you, whose obstinacy + draws down his resentment upon them. Have you ever considered that— + eh?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't see how he can readily be a worse enemy to me, or any tenant he + has, than he is at present. I'll trouble you for my receipt, Mr. + M'Clutchy, but I won't vote for him. I beg your pardon, sir,” said he, on + looking at the receipt which Val, as he spoke, had handed to him; “this + isn't signed—your name's not to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Show,” said Val; “upon my life it is not. You are right, Maguire; but the + truth is, M'Slime, that while speaking on any subject that affects Lord + Cumber's interests, I am scarcely conscious of doing anything else. Now, + sir,” he proceeded, addressing Maguire, with a brow like midnight; “there + is your receipt—bring it home—show it to your family—and + tell them it is the last of the kind you will ever receive on the property + of Lord Cumber. I shall let you know, sir, that I am somewhat stronger + than you are.” + </p> + <p> + “That's all to be proved yet, sir,” said the sturdy farmer: “you know the + proverb, sir—'man proposes, but God disposes.'” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, sirra? What language is this to my father? Be off to h—l + or Connaught, sir, or we'll make it worse for you—ha!—bow-wow.” + He did not utter the last interjection, but his face expressed it. + </p> + <p> + “That's not the religious individual I took him to be,” said Solomon; + “there is much of the leaven of iniquity in him.” + </p> + <p> + “Religion be hanged, M'Slime!” said Phil, “what religion could you expect + a Papist like him to have?” + </p> + <p> + “M'Murt, call in old Paddy Corrigan.” + </p> + <p> + A venerable old man, who, though nearly a hundred years old, stood + actually as erect as the Apollo Belvidere himself, now entered. He was, + however, but poorly clad, and had nothing else remarkable about him, with + the exception of a rich wig, which would puzzle any one to know how it had + got upon his head. On entering, he took off his hat as usual, and paid his + salutation. + </p> + <p> + “What the devil do you mean, Corrigan?” said Phil, once more in a fluster; + “what kind of respect is that in our presence?—what kind of respect + is that, I say? Take off your wig, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “With great respect to you, sir,” replied Corrigan, “I have been in as + jinteel company as this, and it's the first time ever I was axed to take + my wig off.” + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said Val, who really felt somewhat ashamed of this ignorant and + tyrannical coxcomb, “Phil, my good boy, I think you are rather foolish—never + mind him, Paddy, he is only jesting.” + </p> + <p> + “Are not you the man?” asked Solomon, “in whom our rector, Mr. Lucre, + takes such a deep and Christian interest?” + </p> + <p> + “I am, sir,” returned Corrigan. + </p> + <p> + “And pray, what interest does he take in you?” said Val. + </p> + <p> + “Troth, sir,” replied Paddy, “he is very kind and very good to me. Indeed, + he's the generous gentleman, and the good Christian, that doesn't forget + Paddy Corrigan.” + </p> + <p> + “But, Paddy, what does he do for you?” asked the agent. + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir,” replied Corrigan, “he gives: me a cast-off wig once a year, + God bless him!—This is his I have on me. Throth, ever since I began + to wear them I feel a strong-relish for beef and mutton, and such fine + feedin'; but somehow, God forgive me, I! haven't the same leanin' to + devotion that I used to have.” + </p> + <p> + “Paddy, my old boy,” said Phil, “that alters the case altogether. I + thought the wig was as Popish as yourself; but had I known that it was a + staunch and constitutional concern, of sound High Church principle, I + should have treated it with respect. I might have known, indeed, that it + could not be a Popish one, Paddy, for I see it has the thorough Protestant + curl.” + </p> + <p> + The father looked at Phil, to ascertain whether he was serious or not, but + so unmeaning or equivocal was the expression of his countenance that he + could make nothing out of it. + </p> + <p> + “You are reasoning,” said Solomon, “upon wrong, certainly not upon purely + gospel principles, Phil. The wig at this moment has a great deal more of + Popery in it than ever it had of Protestantism.” + </p> + <p> + “And, if I'm not much mistaken, more honesty, too,” observed Val, who had + not forgotten the opposition he received in the grand jury room by Lucre's + friends; nor the fact that the same reverend gentleman had taken many fat + slices of his mouth on several other occasions. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, confound the wig,” said Phil, “and that's all I have to say + about it.” + </p> + <p> + Paddy then paid his rent, and having received a receipt, was about to go, + when Val thus addressed him:—“Paddy, I hope you will not hesitate to + give up that farm of yours at Slatbeg; I told you before that if you do, + I'll be a friend to you for life.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll sell it, sir,” said Paddy; “but surely you wouldn't have me to give + up my interest in such a farm as that.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll make it up to you in other ways,” said Val; “and I'll mention you + besides to Lord Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm thankful to you, sir,” said Paddy; “but it's in heaven I'll be, most + likely, before ever you see his face.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, you won't give it up, nor rely upon my generosity or Lord Cumber's? + It's Lord Cumber you will be obliging, not me.” + </p> + <p> + “Wid every respect for you both, sir,” replied Paddy, “I must think of my + own flesh and blood, my childre, and grand-childre, and + great-grand-childre, before I think of either you or him. The day, sir, + you made me tipsy, and sent me on your own car for the lease, I would a + given it—but then, they wouldn't let me at home, and so, on + thinking-it over—” + </p> + <p> + “Pooh, you're doting, man, you're doting,” said Val. “go home, now—but + I tell you, you will have cause to remember this before you die, old as + you are—go home.” + </p> + <p> + “The truth is, Solomon, I was offered two hundred pounds for it by one of + my 'hounds' which would be a good thing enough, and would afford you a + slice into the bargain. The old fellow would have brought me the lease the + day he speaks of, were it not for the family—and, talking of leases, + you will not forget to draw up those two for the O'Flaherties, with a flaw + in each. They are certainly with us up to the present time, but, then, we + can never be sure of these Papists.” + </p> + <p> + “No, d—n my honor, if ever we can,” re-echoed Phil; “they hate us + because we keep them down. Put in two good thumping flaws, Solomon, and be + hanged to you; so that we can pop them out if ever they refuse to vote for + us.” + </p> + <p> + “Never you mind Solomon,” said his father, “Solomon will put in a pair of + flaws that will do him honor.” + </p> + <p> + “If I did not feel that in doing so, my dear M'Clutchy, I am rendering a + service to religion, and fighting a just and righteous fight against + Popery and idolatry, I would not deem myself as one permitted to do this + thing—but the work is a helping forward of religion, and that is my + justification.” + </p> + <p> + “Call Philip Duggan in.” + </p> + <p> + A poor looking man now entered with a staff in his hand, by the aid of + which he walked, for he was lame. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Duggan, your rent?” + </p> + <p> + “I have scrambled it together, sir, from God knows how many quarthers.” + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said Solomon aside, “is it not painful to hear how habitually + these dark creatures take the sacred name in vain.” + </p> + <p> + “By —-, it's perfectly shocking,” said Phil, “but what else could + you expect from them?” + </p> + <p> + “Duggan,” said Val, “what is this, here's a mistake—you are short + three pound ten.” + </p> + <p> + “Beggin' your pardon, sir, it's all right,” replied Duggan; “you see, your + honor, here's my little account for the work I wrought for you for five + weeks wid horse and cart, up until I put my knee out o' joint in the + quarry—you remember, sir, when I brought it to you, you said to let + it stand, that you would allow for it in the next gale.” + </p> + <p> + “I remember no such thing, my good fellow, or, if ever I said such a + thing, it must have been a mistake; do you imagine, now—are you + really so stupid and silly as to imagine that I could transmit this + account of yours to Lord Cumber, in payment of his rent?” + </p> + <p> + “But wasn't it by your own ordhers I did it, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir; it couldn't be by my orders. Duggan, you're a great knave, I + see. I once had a good opinion of you; but I now perceive my error. Here + you trump up a dishonest bill against me, when you know perfectly well + that most of the work you charge me with was duty work.” + </p> + <p> + “Beggin,' your pardon, sir, I paid you the duty-work besides, if you'll + remember it.” + </p> + <p> + “I tell you, sirra, you are a most impudent and knavish scoundrel, to + speak to me in this style, and in my own office, too! Go and get the + balance of the rent, otherwise you shall repent it; and, mark me, sirra, + no more of your dishonesty.” + </p> + <p> + “As God is to judge me—” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my friend—,” began Solomon. + </p> + <p> + “Be off to h—l, sir, out of this,” thundered Phil. “Be off, I say, + to h—l or Connaught; or if you don't, take my word for it, you'll + find yourself in a worse mess. To address my father in such language! Be + off, sir; ha!”—Bow-wow! said his face once more. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said Solomon, when the man had retired, “I see your patience and + your difficulties—but there is no man free from the latter in this + checkered vale of sorrow.” + </p> + <p> + “Call Roger Regan,” said Val; “here's a fellow, now, who has an excellent + farm at a low rent, yet he never is prepared with a penny. Well Regan.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! devil resave the penny, sir;—you, must only prize (appraise) + the craps; the ould game, sir—the ould game; however, it's a merry + world as long as it lasts, and we must only take our own fun out of it.” + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter with your head, Regan?” asked Val. + </p> + <p> + “Devil a much, sir; a couple o' cuts that you might lay your finger in. We + an' the Haimigans had another set to on Thursday last, but be my sowl, we + thrashed them into chaff—as we're well able to do. Will I have the + pleasure of drinking your health, gintlemen? I think I see the right sort + here.” + </p> + <p> + “Give him a glass of spirits,” said Val; “I think, Regan, you have seen + some one drinking to-day already.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, gintlemen, here's—if we're to have a short life, may it be a + merry one!—and may we never ait worse mait than mutton. Mr. M'Slime, + more power to you!—She's next door to me”—and he winked at + Solomon—“an' barrin' the paleness, by the powers gettin' on famous; + throth, sir,” in reply to Val—“only share of two half-pints wid + Paddy Colgan, in regard of that day that's in it—blowin' bullocks—and, + I believe, another half-pint wid Para Bellow. Blood, sir, but that's a + beautiful drop! Sowl it would take the tear off a widow's pig—or the + widow herself. Faith, Mr. M'Clutchy, I could tell where the cow grazes + that was milked for that! Awough! However, no matther, I'm rantin' Regan + from sweet Anghadarra—Regan the Rake that never seen to-morrow. + Whish! more power!” + </p> + <p> + “That will do, Regan; you have not your rent.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! d—n the penny, as usual.—Success! + </p> + <p> + “Well, but what's to be done? I must come down.” + </p> + <p> + “Devil afoot you'll come down, please your honor; but you'll come up and + prize the crap. It's worth five times the rent, at any rate—that's + one comfort. Hurroo!” + </p> + <p> + “Upon my honor, Regan, I'm tired of this I have done it several times + through kindness to yourself and family, but I cannot, really, do it any + more.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, sir—no offence—what one won't, another will; I can + raise three times the rent on it in four and twenty hours.” + </p> + <p> + “What an unfortunate man you are, to be sure. Well, Regan, I shall + appraise your crops and take them, or a competent share of them in + payment, on this occasion—but mark me, it shall be the last.” + </p> + <p> + “More power, I say.—Long life to you, sir. You know a hawk from a + hand-saw, any how—and be my sowl, kind father, for you—whish! + I'm rantin' Regan from sweet Anghadarra!” + </p> + <p> + So saying, poor, idle, drinking, negligent, pugnacious Regan, by his own + sheer neglect, put his property into the hands of the most relentless + harpy that ever robbed and fleeced a tenantry. This mode of proceeding + was, in fact, one of the many methods resorted to by rapacious agents, for + filling their own pockets at the expense of the tenant, who, by this + means, seldom received more than a fourth part of the value of his crops. + The agent under the mask of obliging him, and saving his crops from the + hammer, took them at a valuation when the markets were low; and in order + that he might be able to do so, he always kept over the tenant's head what + is called a hanging gale—which means that he was half a year's rent + in arrear. The crops were then brought home to the agent's place, and + frequently, to save appearances, to the haggard of some friend of his, + where they were kept until the markets got up to the highest price. So + that it was not an unusual thing for the iniquitous agent to double the + rent, one-half of which he coolly put into his own pocket.—In + pastoral lands the butter was appraised in the same manner, mostly with + similar results to both parties. To return—when Regan had departed, + Val asked Solomon what he thought of him. “Think of him,” said Solomon, + who could not forgive the allusion to Susanna, “I would fain think of him + as becomes a Christian; but, somehow, I could not help feeling, whenever I + looked at him, there was the outline of an execution in his face; however, + I may be mistaken—indeed, I hope—I trust I am—the + villain!” + </p> + <p> + “M'Murt, call in Catharine Tyrrell.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said Phil, “call in Widow Tyrrell. Now, Solomon, only you have no + relish for anything except what's sanctified and spiritual, you would say + that here comes such a specimen of Irish beauty as you have seldom seen.” + </p> + <p> + “I never had any objection,” said Solomon, who, in spite of all his + gravity, betrayed an alertness on this occasion that was certainly not + usual to him;—“I never had any objection to look upon any work from + His hand, with pleasure. Indeed, on the contrary, I often felt that it + raised my sense of—of what was beautiful, in such a way that my + feelings became, as it were, full of a sweet fervor that was not to be + despised; I will consequently not decline to look upon this comely widow—that + is—in the serious light I mention.” + </p> + <p> + “How do you do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I hope you have not got much wet?” said Val, + turning round very blandly. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, I hope you're very well,” followed Phil; “I fear you + have got wet—have the goodness to take a chair, Mrs. Tyrrell—and + a glass of wine, ma'am.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Tyrrell took a chair, but she declined the glass of wine. Mrs. + Tyrrell had been the wife of a young husband, who died in his + twenty-fourth year, just when they had been about a year and a half + married. She was herself, on the day in question, about the same age as + her husband when he died. She had been a widow just two years, and had one + child, a son. She was indeed a beautiful woman—in fact a very + beautiful woman, as one could almost see in her humble condition of life. + Her tresses were a raven black, but her skin was white and polished as + ivory. Her face was a fine specimen of the oval—her brows + exquisitely pencilled—and her large black, but mellow eyes, flashed + a look that went into your very heart. But, if there was anything that + struck you as being more fascinating than another, it was the expression + of innocence, and purity, and sweetness, that lay about her small mouth + and beautifully rounded chin. Her form was symmetry itself, and a glimpse + of the small, but beautiful foot and ankle, left no doubt upon the mind as + to the general harmony of her whole figure. On this occasion there was a + positive air about her which added to the interest she excited; for, we + believe, it may be truly observed, that beauty never appears so + impressively or tenderly fascinating, as when it is slightly overshadowed + with care. We need scarcely say, that there was a great deal of contrast + in the gaze she received from Phil and our friend Solomon. That of Phil + was the gross, impudent stare of a libertine and fool—a stare, + which, in the eye of a virtuous woman, soon receives its own withering + rebuke of scorn and indignation. That of Solomon, on the other hand, was a + look in which there lurked a vast deal of cunning, regulated and sharpened + by experience, and disguised by hypocrisy into something that absolutely + resembled the open, ardent admiration of a child, or of some innocent man + that had hardly ever been in the world. There was, however, a villainous + dropping of the corners of the mouth, with an almost irrepressible + tendency to lick the lips, accompanied with an exudation of internal + moisture from the glands—vulgarly termed a watering of the teeth—which, + to a close observer, would have betrayed him at once, and which were + evident from the involuntary workings of his whole face. + </p> + <p> + “Mrs. Tyrrell,” said Val, “I am glad to hear that you are making + considerable improvements on your farm.” + </p> + <p> + “Improvements, sir,” replied the widow in amazement; “I don't know who + could have told you that, sir. Didn't my potato crop fail altogether with + me, and my flax, where I had it spread on the holme below, was all swept + away by the flood.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry to hear that, Mrs. Tyrrell;—we are very hard up for + money here, and the landlord doesn't know on what hand to turn; I must + raise a large sum for him forthwith:—indeed to tell you the truth, I + have received instructions that are not at all pleasant to myself—I + am to let no one pass, he says, and if I cannot get the rent otherwise, I + am to enforce it. Now this is very unpleasant, Mrs. Tyrrell, inasmuch as + it compels me to take steps that I shall feel very painful. + </p> + <p> + “God help me, then,” replied the poor young woman, “for, as to rent, sir, + I have it not; and, indeed, Mr. M'Clutchy, what brought me here to-day, + was to ask a little time, just till I get my butter made up and sold. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, but what can I do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I have no power to let any one off, + even where I feel inclined, as I do in your case. It really is not in my + power; Lord Cumber took care to leave me no discretion in the business at + all.” + </p> + <p> + “But surely, sir, you don't mean to say, that unless I pay the rent, you + will seize upon my property.' + </p> + <p> + “This,” said Val, as if to himself, “is really very distressing— + unfortunately, Mrs. Tyrrell, I must indeed, unless you can raise the money + in some way; wouldn't your friends, for instance, stand by you, until your + butter is made up?” + </p> + <p> + “I have no such friends,” replied the poor woman, “them that would, arn't + able; and them that are able, won't; and, that's only the way of the + world, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “It's too true, indeed, Mrs. Tyrrell; I am very sorry, exceedingly sorry, + for what must be done. It is such circumstances as these that make me wish + I never had become an agent.” + </p> + <p> + “For God's sake, sir, have patience with me for about a month or six + weeks, and I will be able to pay it all easily.” + </p> + <p> + “If I was my own master,” returned Val, “it would give me pleasure to do + so, but I am not.” + </p> + <p> + Here there was a groan from Solomon of compassion for the poor widow, + followed by a second, which was clearly a comment upon the first. What a + pity, said the first, to see so interesting a young widow without the + means of paying her rent—and is it not a wicked and hard-hearted + world, said the second that has not in it one individual to befriend her! + Mrs. Tyrrell looked round on hearing an expression of sympathy, and there + was Solomon gazing on her with a look, in which admiration and sympathy + were so well feigned, that she felt grateful to Solomon in her heart. As + for Phil, whether he gazed at her, his father, or at the attorney, such + was the comprehensive latitudinarianism of his squint, that she felt it + impossible to tell; neither, indeed, did she care. She was now in tears, + and Val having declared his determination to proceed, was silent, as if + out of respect to her feelings. At length she rose up, and when on the eve + of going out, she asked for the last time:— + </p> + <p> + “Mr. M'Clutchy is there no hope? I trust, sir, that when you consider how + long my family and my husband have been living on this property, you'll + think better of it than to bring myself and my poor orphan boy to beggary + and ruin. What will become of him and myself!” + </p> + <p> + “D—n my honor, Mrs. Tyrrell, but I feel for you,” said Phil, + eagerly, as if rushing head foremost into a fit of the purest humanity. + </p> + <p> + “Do not be cast down, Mrs. Tyrrell,” said Solomon, “there is one who can + befriend the widow, and who will be a father to the fatherless. Rely on + Him!—who knows but an instrument may be raised up for your relief. + Don't be thus cast down.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Phil, “do not, or you will only spoil them devlish fine eyes of + yours, Mrs. Tyrrell, by crying. Come, come, father, you must give her,the + time she asks; upon my honor, I'll guarantee she, won't disappoint. + </p> + <p> + “And, if he is not sufficient, I will join him,” said Solomon; “you may + rest upon her word, my friend, for I am satisfied that no serious + falsehood's in the habit of proceeding from a mouth so sweet and comely in + expression, as Mrs. Tyrrell's. Come, Val, have a heart, and be + compassionate towards the fair widow.” + </p> + <p> + “If you or Phil will pay the money,” said M'Clutchy, “well and good; but + you both know, that otherwise it is out of my power.” There is a vast deal + of acuteness of observation in Irish women, together with a quickness of + perception, that sometimes resembles instinct. Mrs. Tyrrell's purity of + feeling and good sense were offended at the compliments which the attorney + and Phil mixed up with the sympathy they expressed for her. She felt + something jar disagreeably upon her natural delicacy, by their selecting + the moment of her distress for giving utterance to language, which, coming + at any time from either of them to one in her station of life, was + improper; but, under the present circumstances, an insult, and an + impertinent trifling with her affliction. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said she, without paying them the slightest attention, “I must + say, Mr. M'Clutchy, that if you proceed as you threaten to do, your + conduct towards me and my poor orphan will be such as I don't think you + can justify either to God or man. I wish you good morning, sir; I have no + more to say upon it.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, if you begin to abuse us and lay down the law on the + matter, I have no more to say either.” + </p> + <p> + She then went out, but had not left the hall, when Phil, following, said + in a low, impudent, confidential tone— + </p> + <p> + “Don't be in a hurry, Mrs. Tyrrell, just step into the parlor for a few + minutes, and we'll see what can be done—step in.” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir,” she replied, feeling very naturally offended at the familiarity + of his manner, I will not step in; anything you have to, say you can say + it here.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes—but, then, they may overhear us. D—n my honor, but you're + a very pretty woman, Mrs. Tyrrell, and I'd be sorry to see harsh, + proceedings taken against you—that is, if we could understand one + another. The scarlet hue of indignation had already overspread her face + and temples, her eyes flashed, and her voice became firm and full. + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, sir,” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said he, “couldn't there be an understanding between us? In fact, + Mrs. Tyrrell, you would find me a friend to you.” + </p> + <p> + She made no reply but returned into the room. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. M'Clutchy,” said she, “I thought that a woman—especially a + poor, unprotected widow like me—might, at least, come into your + house about her necessary business without being insulted; I thought that + if there was one house above another where I ought to expect protection, + it is yours. It's your duty, I think, to protect them that's livin' upon + this property, and strugglin' to pay you, or him that employs you, the + hard-earned rent that keeps them in poverty and hardship. I think, sir, it + ought to be your duty, as I said, to protect me, and such as me, rather + than leave us exposed to the abominable proposals of your son.” + </p> + <p> + “How is this?” said Val; “where are you, Phil?” + </p> + <p> + Phil entered with a grin on him, that betrayed very clearly the morals of + the father, as well as of himself. There was not the slightest appearance + of shame or confusion about him; on the contrary, he looked upon the + matter as a good joke, but, by no means, so good as if it had been + successful. + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said his father, barely restraining a smile, “is it possible that + you could dare to insult Mrs. Tyrrell under this roof?” + </p> + <p> + “D—n my honor, a confounded lie,” replied Phil; “she wanted me to + lend her the money, and because I did not, she told you I made proposals + to her. All revenge and a lie.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Tyrrell looked at him—“Well,” said she, “if there is a just God + in heaven, you will be made an example of yet. Oh! little they know that + own this property, and every other property like it—of the insults, + and hardships, and oppressions, that their tenantry must suffer in their + absence from them that's placed over them; and without any one to protect + them or appeal to for satisfaction or relief—sir, that villain in + the shape of your son—that cowardly villain knows that the words he + insulted me in are not yet cowld upon his lips.” + </p> + <p> + “I have reason to put every confidence in what my son says,” replied Val + very coolly, “and he is not a villain, Mrs. Tyrrell—so I wish you a + good morning, ma'am!” + </p> + <p> + This virtuous poor woman flushed with a sense of outraged modesty, with + scorn and indignation, left the room; and with a distracted mind and a + breaking heart, sought her orphan, whose innocent face of wonder she + bedewed on her return home with tears of the bitterest sorrow. + </p> + <p> + It is not our intention to describe at full length the several melancholy + scenes which occurred between poverty and dependence on one side and cold, + cruel, insolent authority, on the other. It is needless and would be + painful to tell how much age and helplessness suffered at the hands of + these two persons; especially at those of Phil, whose chief delight + appeared to consist in an authoritative display of pomp and natural + cruelty. + </p> + <p> + The widow had not been more than a minute gone, when the door opened, and + in walked, without note or preparation, a stout swarthy looking fellow + named M'Clean. “Well, Tom,” said Val, “is this you?” + </p> + <p> + “Brother M'Clean,” said Solomon, “how are you?” + </p> + <p> + “What would ail me?” said M'Clean, “there's nothing wrong with me but what + money could cure—if I had it.” + </p> + <p> + “And you have no money, Tom!” said Val, smiling, “that, Tom, is a bad + business—for we never wanted it more than we do at present. + Seriously, have you the rent?” + </p> + <p> + “D—n the penny, brother M'Clutchy; and what's more, won't have it + for at least three months.” + </p> + <p> + “That's bad again, Tom. Any news?—any report?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, ay—there was a gun, or a pistol, or a pike, or something that + way, seen with the Gallaghers of Kilscaddan.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha—are you sure of that?” + </p> + <p> + “Not myself sure; but I heard it on good authority; but I think we had + better make sure, by paying them a visit some night soon.” + </p> + <p> + “We will talk about that,” said Val; “but I am told that you treated + priest Roche badly the other night. Is that true?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, what did you hear?” asked M'Clean. + </p> + <p> + “I heard you fired into his house; that you know was dangerous.” + </p> + <p> + “All right,” said Phil; “what right have. Popish priests to live under a + Protestant government? By my sacred honor, I'd banish them like wild + cats.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said M'Clean, in reply to Val, “we did not; all we did was to play + 'Croppies lie Down,' as we passed the house, and fire three volleys over + it—not into it; but if there was e'er a one among us with a bad aim + you know, that wasn't his fault or ours; ha—ha—by Japers,” + said he in a low, confidential whisper, “we frightened the seven senses + out of him, at any rate—the bloody Papist rascal—for sure they + are all that, and be d——d to them.” + </p> + <p> + “Capital doctrine—and so they are, Tom; light, Tom; so you + frightened the bog Latin out of him! ha! ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Ha—ha—ha—by my sowl we did, and more maybe, if it was + known; I must be off now.” + </p> + <p> + “Go and help yourself to a bumper of spirits before you go,” said Val; + “and, Tom, keep a sharp lookout, and whenever you find, or hear of arms, + let me know immediately.” + </p> + <p> + Tom only nodded to that, as he put the glass to his lips; “gentlemen,” + said he, “your healths; here's no Popery! no surrender!” saying which, he + deposited the empty glass on the table, giving the same time two or three + short coughs occasioned by the strength of the liquor. “Good morning, + gentlemen—brother, M'Slime”—he voiced and nodded significantly + at Solomon, then added—“good people are scarce; so be a good boy and + take care of yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, Tom, be a good fellow and don't forget the rent,” said Val; Tom + nodded again, for it was a habit he had, and departed. + </p> + <p> + The next person who presented himself was a little, meagre, thin looking + man, with a dry, serious air about him, that seemed to mark him as a kind + of curiosity in his way. From the moment he entered, Solomon seemed to + shrink up into half his ordinary dimensions, nor did the stranger seem + unconscious of this, if one could judge by the pungent expression of his + small gray eyes which were fastened on Solomon with a bitter significance + that indicated such a community of knowledge as did not seem to be + pleasant to either of them. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Sam Wallace,” said Val, “always punctual, and never more welcome than + now; scraping and scrambling we are, Sam, to make up the demand for the + landlord.” + </p> + <p> + “What way ir ye, Mr. M'Clutchy; am gled to see ye luck so well; I a-am + indeed.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, Sam. How are all your family.” + </p> + <p> + “Deed, as well as can be expected under the stain that's over us.” + </p> + <p> + “Stain! What do you mean, Sam?” + </p> + <p> + “Feth, a main what's purty well known; that misfortune that befell our + daughter Susanna.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear me, Sam, how was that?” + </p> + <p> + “The way of it was this—she went as a children's maid into a + religious femily”—here the two glittering eyes were fiercely + fastened upon Solomon—“where she became a serious young person of + decided piety, as they call it—an' h—l till me, but another + month will make it decided enough—-well, sir, deel a long she was + there till the saint, her masther, made a sinner of her, and now she's + likely to have her gifts, such as they ir. + </p> + <p> + “I am very sorry to hear this, Sam; but, surely the man who seduced your + daughter does not deserve to be called religious.” + </p> + <p> + “Disn't he, feth? why, Lord bless you, sure it was all done in a religious + way—they sang psalms together, prayed together, read the Bible + together, and now the truth is, that the consequence will be speaking for + itself some of these days.” + </p> + <p> + Here another fiery look was darted at Solomon, who appeared deeply engaged + among leases, papers, and such other documents as were before him. + </p> + <p> + “It's a bad business certainly, Sam—but now about the rent?” + </p> + <p> + “Hut! de'il a penny o' rent I have—hell take the tester; and yet, + for all that, all pay you afore a laive the room—what do you think + of that?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't understand it, Sam.” + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said Sam, going over to Solomon, “you'll pay Mr. M'Clutchy the sum + of twelve pounds, fourteen, and three pence for me, Mr. M'Slime—if + you please, sir.” + </p> + <p> + There was a peremptory tone in his words, which, joined to the glittering + look he riveted on Solomon, actually fascinated that worthy gentleman. + </p> + <p> + “My friend,” replied Solomon, taking out his pocket-book, and seeming to + look for a memorandum, “you have made a slight mistake against yourself; + the sum, I find, is twelve pounds, seventeen, and three pence, so that you + have made a slight mistake of three shillings, as I said, against + yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you pay the half year's rent, which is the sum, I say, and you may + give the three shillings in charity, which I know you will do.” + </p> + <p> + “Shall I fill the receipt,” asked Val, looking to Solomon. + </p> + <p> + “Fill it,” said the other, “I am very glad I happened to have so much + about me, poor man.” + </p> + <p> + “So am I,” returned Sam, significantly. + </p> + <p> + Solomon rose, and with all the calmness of manner which he could assume, + laid the money down before M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + “Try,” said he, “if that is right.” + </p> + <p> + “Show here,” said Sam, “ail reckon em;” and having done so, he put one + particular note in his pocket—“Never you mind,” he added, addressing + himself to Val, “I'll give you another note for this;” and he winked + significantly as he spoke. He accordingly did so, and having paid the + money and received his receipt, he bid them goodbye, once more winking, + and touching his waistcoat pocket as he went. He had not been long gone, + however, when Solomon once more examined his pocket-book, and in a tone + which no pen could describe, exclaimed, “verily, the ways of Providence + are wonderful! Will you look again at that money?” said he—“I have + given away a note for ten pounds instead of a note for one.” + </p> + <p> + “It is not here, then,” replied Val, “but I'll venture to say that Sam, + the knave, put it in his pocket when he made the exchange.” + </p> + <p> + “Shall I call him back?” said Phil, “there he goes towards the gate.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” replied the other, “I have great reliance on Sam's honesty. He will + return it no doubt on perceiving the mistake, or if not, I shall send to + him for it. Yes, I know Sam is honest—truly the ways of Providence + are wonderful.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, with a visage peculiarly rueful and mortified, he closed his + book and put it in his pocket. + </p> + <p> + The last person whom we shall notice was Brian M'Loughlin, on whose + features care had recently made a deep impression. On being asked to sit, + he declined—“I thank you,” said he, “my visit will be but a short + one, and what I have to say, I can say standing.” + </p> + <p> + “That as you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; shall I fill your receipts?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” replied the other, “I simply came to state, that, owing to the + derangement of our affairs, I am not just now in a condition to pay my + rent.” + </p> + <p> + “That is unpleasant, Mr. M'Loughlin.” + </p> + <p> + “Of course it is,” he replied; “that was my only business, Mr. M'Clutchy, + and now I bid you good-day.” + </p> + <p> + “Not so fast, if you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; do not be in such a hurry. + You remember a meeting you and I had once in Castle Cumber fair?” + </p> + <p> + “I do.” + </p> + <p> + “You remember the extraordinary civility with which you treated me?” + </p> + <p> + “I do, Val, and I only expressed what I thought then and think now; but + indeed you have improved the wrong way wonderfully since.” + </p> + <p> + “Your language was indiscreet then, and it is so now.” + </p> + <p> + “It was true for all that, Mr. M'Clutchy.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, might not I, if I wished, take ample revenge for the insulting terms + you applied to me?” + </p> + <p> + “You might, and I suppose you will—I expect nothing else, for I know + you well.” + </p> + <p> + “You do not know me. Mr. M'Loughlin, so far from acting up to what you + imagine, I shall not avail myself of your position; I have no such + intention, I assure you, so that whatever apprehensions you may entertain + from others, you need have none from me. And, now, Mr. M'Loughlin, do you + not perceive that you judged me unjustly and uncharitably?” + </p> + <p> + “That's to be seen yet, Mr. M'Clutchy, time will tell.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, make your mind easy; I shall take no proceedings in + consequence of your situation—so far from that, I shall wait + patiently till it is your convenience to pay the rent—so now, I wish + you good day, Mr. M'Loughlin.” + </p> + <p> + “That is a beautiful exhibition of Christian spirit,” exclaimed Solomon, + “good works are truly the fruit of faith.” + </p> + <p> + “Before you go,” said Phil, with a sneer, “will you allow me to ask how + poor Mary is.” + </p> + <p> + M'Loughlin paused, and calmly looked first at Phil, and then at his + father. + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said the latter, “I shall order you out of the room, sir, if I + hear another word on that unfortunate subject. I am very sorry, I assure + you, Mr. M'Loughlin, for that untoward transaction—to be sure, I + wish your daughter had been a little more prudent, but young ladies + cannot, or at least, do not always regulate their passions or attachments; + and so, when they make a false step, they must suffer for it. As for + myself, I can only express my sincere regret that the <i>faux pas</i> + happened, and that it should have got wind in such a way as to deprive the + poor girl of her character.” + </p> + <p> + After contemplating the father and son for some time alternately, with a + look in which was visible the most withering contempt and scorn, and which + made them both quail before him, he replied: + </p> + <p> + “Your falsehood, scoundrels, is as vindictive as it is cowardly, and you + both know it; but I am an honest man, and I feel to stoop to a defence of + my virtuous child against either of you, would be a degradation to her as + well as to myself. I therefore go, leaving you my contempt and scorn, I + could almost say my pity.” + </p> + <p> + He then walked out, neither father nor son having thought it prudent to + brave the expression of his eye by replying to his words. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said Val, addressing Solomon, “let there be an execution issued + without a moment's delay—the man is doomed, his hour has come; and + so, may I never prosper, if I don't scatter him and his, houseless and + homeless, to the four corners of heaven! I have meshed him at last, and + now for vengeance.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Solomon, in a tone of slight remonstrance, “I trust, my dear + M'Clutchy, that,in taking vengeance upon this man and his family, you will + do so in a proper spirit, and guard against the imputations of an + uncharitable world. When you take vengeance, let your motives be always + pure and upright and even charitable—of course you expect and hope + that you ruin this man and his; family for their own spiritual good. The + affliction that you are about! to bring on them, will soften and subdue + their hard and obstinate hearts, and lead them it is to be hoped, to a + better and more Christian state of feeling. May He grant it!” + </p> + <p> + “Of course,” replied Val, humoring him in his hypocrisy, “of course it is + from these motives I act; certainly it is.” + </p> + <p> + “In that case,” said Solomon, “I am bound to acknowledge that I never have + heard a man vow vengeance, or express a determination to ruin his fellow + creature, upon more delightfully Christian principles. It is a great + privilege, indeed, to be able to ruin a whole family in such a blessed + spirit, I have no doubt you feel it so.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0025" id="link2H_4_0025"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTEK XXIV.—Raymond's Sense of Justice + </h2> + <p> + —Voice of the Ideal—Poll Doolin's Remorse—Conversation + on Irish Property—Disclosure concerning Mary M'Laughlin + </p> + <p> + About dusk, on the evening of that day, Poll Doolin having put on her + black bonnet, prepared to go out upon some matter of a private nature, as + was clearly evident by her manner, and the cautious nature of all her + movements. Raymond, who eyed her closely, at length said— + </p> + <p> + “Take care now—don't harm them.” + </p> + <p> + “Them!” replied Poll, “who do you mean by them?” + </p> + <p> + “The M'Loughlins—go and look at Mary, and then ask yourself why you + join the divil:—there now, that's one. Who saved me? do you know + that, or do you care? Very well, go now and join the divil, if you like, + but I know what I'll do some fine night. Here he leaped in a state of + perfect exultation from the ground. + </p> + <p> + “Why, what will you do?” said Poll. + </p> + <p> + “You'll not tell to-morrow,” replied Raymond, “neither will any one else; + but I don't forget poor white-head, nor Mary M'Loughlin.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, keep the house like a good boy,” she said, “till I come back; and, + if anybody should come in, or ask where I am, say that I went up to Jerry + Hannigan's for soap and candles.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, but that's not true, because I know you're goin' to join the divil; + but, no matter—go there—you'll have his blessin' any how, and + it's long since he gave it to you—with his left hand. I wish I + wasn't your son—but no matther, no matther.” + </p> + <p> + She then peeped out to see that the coast was clear, and finding that all + was safe, she turned her steps hurriedly and stealthily, in a direction + leading from, instead of to Castle Cumber. When she was gone, Raymond + immediately closed and bolted the door, and began as before, to spring up + in the air in a most singular and unaccountable manner. The glee, however, + which became apparent on his countenance, had an expression of ferocity + that was frightful; his eyes gleamed with fire, his nostrils expanded, and + a glare of terrible triumph lit up every feature with something of a lurid + light. + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha!” he exclaimed, addressing, as some imaginary individual, an old + pillow which he caught up; “I have you at last—now, now, now; ha, + you have a throat, have you? I feel it now, now, now! Ay, that will do; + hoo, hoo—out with it, out with it; I see the tip of it only, but you + must give better measure ay, that's like it. Hee, hee, hee! Oh, there—that + same tongue never did you good, nor anybody else good—and what + blessed eyes you have! they are comin' out, too, by degrees, as the + lawyers goes to Heaven! Now! now! now! ay, where's your strugglin' gone + to? It's little you'll make of it in Raymond's iron fingers—Halloo, + this is for white-head, and white-head's—poor little white-head's—-father, + and for poor little white-head's mother, and this—ay, the froth's + comin' now, now, now—and this last's for poor Mary M'Loughlin! Eh, + ho, ho! There now—settled at last, with your sweet grin upon you, + and your tongue out, as if you were makin' fun of me—for a beauty + you were, and a beauty you are, and there I lave you!” + </p> + <p> + While uttering these words, he went through with violent gesticulations, + the whole course and form of physical action that he deemed necessary to + the act of strangling worthy Phil, whose graceful eidolon was receiving at + his hands this unpleasant specimen of the pressure from without. He had + one knee on the ground, his huge arms moving with muscular energy, as he + crushed and compressed the pillow, until the very veins of his forehead + stood out nearly black with the force at once of hatred and exertion. + Waving thus wrought his vengeance out to his own satisfaction, he once + more, in imagination, transformed the pillow into his little white-head, + as he loved to call him; and assumed a very different aspect from that + which marked the strangulation scene just described. + </p> + <p> + “Come here,” said he—taking it up tenderly in his arms—“come + here—don't be afeard now; there's nobody that can do you any harm. + Ah! my poor white-head—don't! you want your mother to keep up your + poor sick head, and to lay your poor pale face against her breast? And + your father—you would like to get upon his knee and climb up to kiss + him—wouldn't you, white-head? Yes, he says he would—white-head + says he would—and tell me, sure I have the cock for you still; and + if you want a drink I have-something better than bog wather for you—the + sickening bog wather! Oh! the poor-pale face—and the poor sickly eye—up + in the cowld mountains, and no one to think about you, or to give you + comfort! Whisht now—be good—och, why do I say that, poor + white-head—for sure you were always good! Well wait—bog wather—ah, + no—but wait here—or come wid me—I won't lay you down, + for I love you, my poor white-head; but come, and you must have it. My + mother's gone out—and she's not good; but you must have it.” + </p> + <p> + He rose, still holding the pillow like a child in his arms, and going over + to a cupboard, took from it a jug of milk, and so completely was he borne + away by the force of his imagination that he actually poured a portion of + the milk upon the pillow. + </p> + <p> + The act seemed for the moment to dispel, the illusion—but only for a + moment; the benevolent heart of the poor creature seemed, to take delight + in these humane reminiscences; and, almost immediately, he was. proceeding + with his simple, but touching little drama. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he, “that's better than cowld bog wather; how would the rich + like to see their sick childre put on cowld wather and cowld pratees? But + who cares for the rich, for the rich doesn't care about huz; but no + matther, white-head—if you'll only just open your eyes and spake to + me, I'll give you the cock.” He gave a peculiar call, as he spoke, which + was perfectly well known to the bird in question, which immediately flew + from the roost, and went up to him; Raymond then gently laid the pillow + down, and taking the cock up, put his head under one of his wings, and + placed him on the pillow where he lay quietly and as if asleep. For many + minutes he kept his eyes fixed upon the objects before him, until the + image in his mind growing still stronger, and more distinct, became at + last so painful that he, burst into tears. + </p> + <p> + “No,” said he, “he will never open his eyes again; he will never look upon + any one more: and what will she do when she hasn't his white head before + her?” + </p> + <p> + Whilst poor Raymond thus indulged himself in the caprices of a benevolent + imagination, his mother was hastening to the house of Mr. Hickman, the + former agent of the Castle Cumber property, with the intention of + rendering an act of justice to an individual and a family whom she had + assisted deeply and cruelly to injure. Whilst she is on the way, however, + we will take the liberty of introducing our readers to Mr. Hickman's + dining-room, where a small party are assembled; consisting of the host + himself, Mr. Easel, the artist, Mr. Harman, and the Rev. Mr. Clement; and + as their conversation bears upon the topic of which we write, we trust it + may not be considered intruding upon private society to detail a part of + it. + </p> + <p> + “Property in this country,” said Hickman, “is surrounded by many + difficulties—difficulties which unfortunately fall chiefly upon + those who cultivate it. In the first place, there is the neglect of the + landlord; in the next, the positive oppression of either himself or his + agent; in the third, influence of strong party feeling—leaning too + heavily on one class, and sparing or indulging the other; and perhaps, + what is worse than all, and may be considered the <i>fons et origo malorum</i>, + the absence of any principle possessing shape or form, or that can be + recognized as a salutary duty on the part of the landlord. This is the + great want and the great evil. There should be a distinct principle to + guide, to stimulate, and when necessary to restrain him; such a principle + as would prevent him from managing his property according to the influence + of his passions, his prejudices, or his necessities.” + </p> + <p> + “That is very true,” said Mr. Clement, “and there is another duty which a + landlord owes to those who reside upon his property, but one which + unfortunately is not recognized as such; I mean a moral duty. In my + opinion a landlord should be an example of moral propriety and moderation + to his tenantry, so as that the influence of his conduct might make a + salutary impression upon their lives and principles. At present the landed + Proprietary of Ireland find in the country no tribunal by which they are + to be judged; a fact which gives them the full possession of unlimited + authority; and we all know that the absence of responsibility is a great + incentive to crime. No man in a free country should be invested with + arbitrary power; and yet, it is undeniable that an Irish landlord can + exercise it whenever he pleases.” + </p> + <p> + “Then what would you do,” said Easel; “where is your remedy?” + </p> + <p> + “Let there be protective laws enacted, which will secure the tenant from + the oppression and injustice of the landlord. Let him not lie, as he does, + at the mercy of his caprices, passions, or prejudices.” + </p> + <p> + “In other words,” said Harman, “set the wolves to form protective + enactments for the sheep. I fear, my good sir, that such a scheme is much + too Utopian for any practically beneficial purpose. In the meantime, if it + can be done, let it. No legislation, however, will be able, in my mind, to + bind so powerful a class as the landlords of Ireland are, unless a strong + and sturdy public opinion is created in the country.” + </p> + <p> + “But how is this to be done?” asked Easel. + </p> + <p> + “It is to be done by educating the people; by teaching them their proper + value in society; by instructing them in their moral and civil duties. Let + them not labor under that humiliating and slavish error, that the landlord + is everything, and themselves nothing; but let the absurdity be removed, + and each party placed upon the basis of just and equal principle.” + </p> + <p> + “It is very right,” said Hickman, “to educate the people, but who is to + educate the landlords?” + </p> + <p> + “A heavy task, I fear,” said Easel, “from what I have observed since I + came to the country.” + </p> + <p> + “The public opinion I speak of will force them into a knowledge of their + duties. At present they disregard public opinion, because it is too feeble + to influence them; and consequently they feel neither fear nor shame. So + long as the landlords and the people come together as opposing or + antithetical principles, it is not to be supposed that the country can + prosper.” + </p> + <p> + “But how will you guide or restrain the landlord in estimating the value + of his property?” inquired Mr. Clement. “Here are two brothers, for + instance, each possessed of landed property; one is humane and moderate, + guided both by good sense and good feeling; this man will not overburthen + his tenant by exacting an oppressive rent. The other, however, is + precisely the reverse of him, being naturally either rapacious or + profligate, or perhaps both; he considers it his duty to take as much out + of the soil as he can, without ever thinking of the hardships which he + inflicts upon the tenant. Now, how would you remedy this, and prevent the + tenant from becoming the victim either of his rapacity or profligacy?” + </p> + <p> + “Simply by taking from him all authority in estimating the value of his + own property. + </p> + <p> + “But how?” said Clement, “is not that an invasion of private right?” + </p> + <p> + “No; it is nothing more than a principle which transfers an unsafe + privilege to other hands in order to prevent its abuse.” + </p> + <p> + “But how would you value the land?” + </p> + <p> + “I am not at this moment about to legislate for it; but I think, however, + that it would be by no means difficult to find machinery sufficiently + simple and effective for the purpose. I am clearly of opinion that there + should, be a maximum value on all land, beyond which, unless for special + purposes—such, for instance, as building—no landlord ought to + be permitted to go. This would prevent an incredible amount of + rack-renting and oppression on the one hand; and of poverty, revenge, and + bloodshed on the other. Where is the landlord now who looks to the moral + character or industrial habits of a tenant? Scarcely one. On the contrary, + whoever bids highest, or bribes highest, is sure to be successful, without + any reference to the very qualities which, in a tenant, ought to be + considered as of most importance.” + </p> + <p> + “I have now,” said Easel, “made myself acquainted with the condition and + management of the Castle Cumber property; and, truth to tell, I am not + surprised at the frightful state of society upon it. M'Clutchy is the type + of too numerous a class, and his son is a most consummate scoundrel. Why + my—why Lord Cumber should have appointed him to his agency I cannot + imagine.” + </p> + <p> + “But I can,” said Harman; “that which has appointed many a scoundrel like + him—necessity on the part of the landlord, and a desire to extend + his political influence in the county.” + </p> + <p> + “He could not have gone a more successful way about it, however,” observed + Easel. + </p> + <p> + “If there be one curse,” observed Harman, “worse than another on any such + property, it is to have for your agent an outrageous partisan—a man + who is friendly to one party and inimical to another—a fellow who + scruples not to avail himself of his position, for the gratification of + party rancor, and who makes the performance of his duties subservient to + his prejudices, both religious and political. Think, for instance, of a + rancorous No-Popery-man being made agent to an estate where the majority + of the tenantry are Catholics.” + </p> + <p> + “As is the case on the Castle Cumber estate,” said Easel. + </p> + <p> + “And as is the case on too many estates, throughout the country,” added + Harman; but the truth is, that unless something is done soon to redress + the local grievances of the people, there will, I fear, be bad work among + us ere long. The tenantry are all ready in a state of tumult; they + assemble on Sundays in vindictive-looking and suspicious groups; they + whisper together, as if fraught with some secret purposes; and I am also + told that they frequently hold nightly meetings to deliberate on what may + be done. Between the M'Clutchys and M'Slimes, I must say they have ample + cause for discontent.” + </p> + <p> + “Everything considered,” said Easel, “it is better that we should + anticipate them. When I say we, you of course know who I mean; but indeed + we shall expect every aid, and it will be welcome, no matter from what + quarter it comes.” + </p> + <p> + “M'Clutchy and the estate in question are topics on which I wish not to + speak,” said Hickman; “I do not blame Lord Cumber for dismissing me, Mr. + Easel, the fact being—that I dismissed myself; but I most sincerely + hope and trust, for the sake of the people, that some change for the + better may take place. Good God, sir, how popular your——how + popular Lord Cumber might become, and what a blessing to his tenantry and + his country he might be in a short time.” + </p> + <p> + “I feel that, Mr. Hickman,” said Easel, “I feel it now, because I know it. + In this instance, too, I trust that knowledge will be power. Lord Cumber, + sir, like other Irish Lords, has nothing to detain him in his native + country but his own virtue. His absence, however, and the absence of his + class in general, is, I fear “—and he smiled as he spoke—a + proof that his virtue, as an Irish nobleman, and theirs, is not + sufficiently strong to resist the temptations of an English court, and all + its frivolous, expensive, and fashionable habits. He has now no duty as an + Irish peer to render his residence in Ireland, at least for a considerable + portion of the year, a matter of necessity to his class and his country. + However, let us not despair—I have reason to think that his brother + has nearly succeeded in bringing him to a sense of his duty; and it is not + impossible that the aspect of affairs may be soon changed upon his + estate.” + </p> + <p> + “The sooner, the better, for the sake of the people,” said Harman. “By the + by, Mr. Clement, are you to be one of the Reverend gladiators in this + controversial tournay, which is about to take place in Castle Cumber?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Mr. Clement; “I look upon such exhibitions as manifestations of + fanaticism, or bigotry, and generally of both. They are, in fact, + productive of no earthly good, but of much lamentable evil; for instead of + inculcating brotherly love, kindness, and charity—they inflame the + worst passions of adverse creeds—engender hatred, ill-will, and fill + the public mind with those narrow principles which disturb social harmony, + and poison our moral feelings in the very fountain of the heart. I believe + there is no instance on record of a sincere convert being made by such + discussions.” + </p> + <p> + “But is there not an extensive system of conversion proceeding, called the + New Reformation?” asked Easel. “It appears to me by the papers, that the + Roman Catholic population are embracing Protestantism by hundreds.” + </p> + <p> + “How little are the true causes of great events known,” said Hickman, + laughing; “who, for instance, would suppose that the great spiritual + principle by which this important movement has been sustained is the + failure of the potato crop in the country, where this gracious work is + proceeding. One would think, if everything said were true, that there are + epidemics in religion as well as in disease; but the truth is, that the + knavery or distress of two or three Catholics who were relieved, when in a + state of famine, by a benevolent and kind-hearted nobleman, who certainly + would encourage neither dishonesty nor imposture, first set this + Reformation agoing. The persons I speak of, fearing that his Lordship's + benevolence might cease to continue, embraced Protestantism <i>pro forma + and pro tempore</i>. This went abroad, and almost immediately all who were + in circumstances of similar destitution adopted the same course, and never + did man pay more dearly for evangelical truth than did his Lordship. In + the forthcoming battle the parsons are to prove to the world that all who + belong to Popery must be damned, whilst the priests, on the other hand, + broil the parsons until they blaze in their own fat. But, my God, when + will charity and common sense prevail over bigotry and brimstone!” + </p> + <p> + At this moment a servant entered to say that Poll Doolin—for she was + well known—wished to see Mr. Harman on very particular business. + </p> + <p> + “I can scarcely bear to look on the wretch,” said Harman, “but as I + Strongly suspect, that she may in some shape be useful to us, I desired + her to come here. She called three times upon me, but I could not bring + myself to see or speak to' her; she shall be the bearer of no messages to + me,” he said bitterly, “let her carry them elsewhere; d—n her.” + </p> + <p> + He betrayed deep and powerful emotion as he spoke, but, as his allusions + were understood, there was—from a respect for his feelings, on the + part of his audience—no reply made to his observations. + </p> + <p> + “Since she called first,” said Harman, pursuing the train of melancholy + thought, “some vague notion, like the shadow of a dream crossed me; but, + alas! it is transgressing the bounds of imagination itself even to suppose + that it could be true. However, if it were, it is in your presence, sir” + he said, addressing himself to Easel, “that I should wish to have it + detailed; and, perhaps, after all, this slight, but latent reflection of + hope, influenced me in desiring her to come here. Gentlemen, excuse me,” + said he, covering his face with his hands, “I am very wretched and unhappy—I + cannot account for what has occurred; it looks like an impossibility, but + it is true. Oh, if he were a man!—but, no, no, you all know how + contemptible—what a dastardly scoundrel he is!” + </p> + <p> + “Harman, my dear fellow,” said Hickman, “we understand you, we respect + your feelings, and we sympathize with you—but, in the meantime, do + see and hear this woman.” + </p> + <p> + He had scarcely uttered the words when the servant entered, stating that + she was at the door. + </p> + <p> + “Let her come in,” said Harman; “let the vile wretch come in.” + </p> + <p> + “And, do you, John, withdraw,” said Hickman. + </p> + <p> + Poll Doolin entered. + </p> + <p> + Her appearance threw Harman into a violent state of agitation; he + trembled, got pale, and seemed absolutely sickened by the presence of the + wicked wretch who had been the vile instrument of Phil M'Clutchy's + success, of Mary M'Loughlin's dishonor, and of his own unhappiness. It was + the paleness, however, of indignation, of distress, of misery, of despair. + His blood, despite the paleness of his face, absolutely boiled in his + veins, and that the more hotly, because he had no object on which he could + wreak his vengeance. Poll, who was always cool, and not without + considerable powers of observation, at once noticed the tumult of his + feelings, and, as if replying to them, said— + </p> + <p> + “I don't blame you, Mr. Harman, thinkin' as you do; the sight of me is not + pleasant to you—and, indeed, you don't hate me more than you ought.” + </p> + <p> + “What is your business with me?” said Harman. + </p> + <p> + Poll looked around her for a moment, and replied— + </p> + <p> + “I'm glad of it, the more the better; Francis Harman,” she proceeded, “sit + down, and listen to me; yes, listen to me—for I have it in my power + to make you a happy man.” + </p> + <p> + “Great God! could my dream be true?” said Harman, placing himself in the + chair. + </p> + <p> + “Listen to me,” she continued. + </p> + <p> + “I listen; be brief—for I am in no humor for either falsehood or + imposture.” + </p> + <p> + “I never bore you ill-will,” she said, “and yet I have—and may God + forgive me for it I—scalded the very heart within you.” + </p> + <p> + Harman again covered his face with his hands and groaned. + </p> + <p> + “Will it relieve your heart to know that Mary M'Loughlin's an innocent and + a slandered girl?” + </p> + <p> + “Prove that,” said Harman, starting to his feet, “oh, prove that, Poll, + and never whilst I have life shall you want a—but, alas!” he + exclaimed, “I am a beggar, and can promise you nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “And I'll tell you who beggared you before all is over—but, as I + said, listen. It's now fifteen years since Brian M'Loughlin transported my + son Dick, for stealin' a horse from him; he was my only son, barrin' poor + Raymond, who was then a mere slip. He was a fine young man, but he was + wild and wicked, and it was in Squire Deaker's house, and about Squire + Deaker's stables, that he picked up his dishonesty and love of horses—he + was groom to that ould profligate, who took him into sarvice for a raison + he had.” + </p> + <p> + “Be as brief as you can,” said Harman, “brief—brief.” + </p> + <p> + “On the contrary, Mr. Harman,” said Clement, “let her, if you will be + advised by me, take her own time, and her own way.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, sir,” said Poll, “that's just what I wish. Well, he, + M'Loughlin, transported my boy, that my heart was in, and from that minute + I swore never to die till I'd revenge that act upon him. Very well—I + kept my word. Phil M'Clutchy sent for me, and in his father's presence, we + made up a plot to disgrace Miss M'Loughlin. I brought her out two or three + times to meet me privately, and it was all on your account, by the way, + for I tould her you were in danger; and I so contrived it, that on one or + two occasions you should see myself and her together. I made her promise + solemnly not to tell that she saw me, or mention what passed between us, + or if she did, that your life was not safe; her love for you, kept her + silent even to yourself. But it was when you were sent to gaol, that we + found we had the best opportunity of ruining her, which was all I wanted: + but Phil, the boy, wished to give you a stab as well as her. As for myself + it was in for a penny, in for a pound with me, and I didn't care a traheen + what you suffered, provided I had my revenge on any one belongin' to Brian + M'Loughlin, that transported my son.” + </p> + <p> + “Is Mary M'Loughlin innocent?” asked Harman, starting from his seat, and + placing his face within a few inches of Poll Doolin's. + </p> + <p> + Poll calmly put her hand upon his shoulder, and said:— + </p> + <p> + “Sit down, young man; don't disturb or stop me in what I'm sayin', and + you'll come the sooner at the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “You are right,” he replied, “but who can blame me?—my happiness + depends on it.” + </p> + <p> + “Listen,” said she, “we made up a plan that she was to meet Phil behind + her father's garden—and why? Why, because I told her that Val had + made up his mind to hang you; but I said that Phil, for her sake, could + prevent that, and save you, if she would only see him that he might clear + himself of some reports that had gone abroad on him. For your sake she + consented to that; but not until I had brought her nearly to despair, and + till she believed that there was no other hope for you. It was Val + M'Clutchy, though, that put me up to bring several of the neighbors, and + among the rest your own cousin, to witness the trick of Phil's gettin' in + at the windy; as it was his to bring the bloodhounds, at the very minute, + to catch the scoundrel in the poor girl's bedroom. That was enough; all + the wather in the say couldn't wash her white, when this was given to the + tongue of scandal to work upon.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Mr. Clement, “you unfortunate woman, let me ask, why you + suffered Mr. Harman to live under a conviction of Miss M'Loughlin's + guilt?” + </p> + <p> + “I tould you I had sworn to be revenged on either him, M'Loughlin, or his; + and so I was—may God forgive me!—but one day that my poor + foolish son undertook to convey Hugh Roe O'Regan's wife across the ford of + Drum Dhu river while in a flood, he lost his footing, and never would + breathe the breath of life again, only that God sent John M'Loughlin to + the spot, and at the risk of his own life, he saved poor Raymond's. From + that day out my heart changed. If one son was sent from me in life, the + other was saved from death; and I swore to tell you the truth. But that's + not the only injury I have done you. They put me up, and so did Solomon + M'Slime, to drop hints wherever I went, that you and Mr. M'Loughlin were + on the point of failin'; and, I believe, from some words I heard Phil say + to Solomon one morning, that they put something into the paper that + injured you.” + </p> + <p> + “What was it you heard?” said Hickman. + </p> + <p> + “Phil said—'all right, Solomon, it's in—and—d—n my + honor and reputation, but it will set a screw loose in the same firm;' he + was reading the paper as he spoke.” + </p> + <p> + “All this is of great value,” said Easel, “and must be made use of.” + </p> + <p> + “As for me,” said Harman in an impassioned voice, “I care not a jot for + our bankruptcy; the great and oppressive evil of my heart is removed; I + ought, I admit, to have known that admirable girl better than to suffer + any suspicion of; her to have-entered into my heart; but, then, I must + have discredited my own eyes—and so I ought. God bless you, Poll! I + forgive you all that you and those malignant villains have made me suffer, + in consequence of what you have just now disclosed to us.” + </p> + <p> + “I could not have believed this,” observed Easel; “I scarcely thought that + such profound infamy was in human nature. Good God—and these two men + hold the important offices of Head and Under Agent on the Castle Cumber + estate!” + </p> + <p> + “Have you nothing particular, Poll, about that pious little man, M'Slime?” + asked Hickman. Poll, however, who in no instance was ever known to abuse + professional confidence, shook her head in the negative. + </p> + <p> + “No;” said she, “I know nothing that I can tell about him; honor bright's + my motive—no—no. However, thank God, I've aised my mind by + tellin' the truth, and when you see Mr. M'Loughlin, Mr. Harman, I'll thank + you to let him know that I have done his daughter justice, and that from + the minute his son saved mine, I had no ill-will to him or his family.” + She then departed. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXV.—Val and his Son brought to Trial + </h2> + <p> + A Ribbon Lodge—Their Crimes against the People,—Their Doom and + Sentence—A Rebel Priest Preaching Treason—A Respite. + </p> + <p> + It is undoubtedly a fact, as was observed in the dialogue just given, that + the state of affairs on this property was absolutely fearful. The + framework of society was nearly broken up, for such was the heartless + rapacity and cruelty—such the multiplied and ingenious devices by + which he harassed and robbed the tenantry, or wreaked his personal + vengeance on all who were obnoxious to him or his son, that it was + actually impossible matters could proceed much longer in a peaceable + state. If the reader will accompany us to a large waste house, from which + a man had been some time before ejected, merely because Val had a pique + against him, he may gather from the lips of the people themselves, there + assembled, on the very night in question, sufficiently clear symptoms of + the state of feeling in the neighborhood. + </p> + <p> + The hour at which they assembled, or rather began to assemble, was eleven + o'clock, from which period until twelve they came in small groups of two + or three at a time; so as to avoid observation on the way. Some of them + had their faces blackened, and others who appeared utterly indifferent to + consequences, did not think it worth their while to assume such a + disguise. The waste house in which they were assembled, stood on a + hillside, about half way between Castle Cumber and Drum Dhu; so that its + isolated situation was an additional proof of their security from, + surprise by the bloodhounds. The party were nearly all armed, each with + such weapons as he could get, and most of them with fire or side arms, + such as they were. They had several lights, but so cautious were they, + that quilts and window-cloth's were brought to hang over the windows, to + prevent them from being seen; for it was well known that the house was not + inhabited, and the appearance of lights in it would most certainly send + the wreckers on their back; as it was, however, they obviated all danger + of this in the way I mention. When these men were met together, it might + be supposed that they presented countenances marked by savage and + ferocious passions, and that atrocity and cruelty were the-predominating + traits in each face. This, however, was not so. In general they were just + as any other number of men brought together for any purpose might be. + Some, to be sure, among them betrayed strong indications of animal + impulse; but taken together, they looked just as I say. When they were all + nearly assembled, one might-naturally imagine that the usual animated + dialogue and discussions, which the cause that brought them together + furnished, would have taken place. This, however, was not the case. On the + contrary, there was something singularly wild, solemn, and dreadful, in + their comparative quietness; for silence we could not absolutely term it. + </p> + <p> + There were many reasons for this. In the first place, there existed an + apprehension of the yeomanry and cavalry, who had on more than one + occasion surprised meetings of this description before. 'Tis true they had + sentinels placed—but the sentinels themselves had been made + prisoners of by parties of yeomen and blood-hounds, who had come in + colored clothes, in twos and threes, like the Ribbon men themselves. There + were other motives, however, for the stillness which prevailed—motives + which, when we consider them, invest the whole proceedings with something + that is calculated to fill the mind with apprehension and fear. Here were + men unquestionably assembled for illegal purposes—for the + perpetration of crime—for the shedding of human blood. But in what + light did they view this terrible determination? Simply as a redress of + grievances; as the only means left them of doing that for themselves which + the laws refused to do for them. They keenly and bitterly felt the scourge + of the oppressor, who, under the sanction, and in the name of those laws + which ought to have protected them, left scarcely anything undone to drive + them to desperation; and now finding that the law existed only for their + punishment, they resolved to legislate for themselves, and retaliate on + their oppressor. There is an awful lesson in all this; for it is certainly + a frightful thing to see law and justice so partially and iniquitously + administered as to disorganize society, and to make men look upon murder + as an act of justice, and the shedding of blood as a moral triumph, if not + a moral virtue. When, therefore, the very little conversation which took + place among them, and that little in so low a tone, is placed in + connection with the dark and deadly object of their meeting, it is no + wonder that one cannot help feeling strangely and fearfully on + contemplating it. + </p> + <p> + About twelve o'clock they were all assembled but one individual, whom they + appeared to expect, and for whom they looked out eagerly. Indeed they all + came to a unanimous resolution of doing nothing that pertained to the + business of the night until he should come. For this purpose they had not + to wait long. A little past twelve a tall and powerful young man entered, + leading by the hand poor insane Mary O'Regan—his pitiable and + unconscious mother. He had heard of the death of his brother, during the + cruel scene at Drum Dhu, and of the other inhuman outrage which had driven + her mad. He had come from a remote part of England with the single, fixed, + and irrevocable purpose of wreaking vengeance on the head of him who had + brought madness, desolation, and death upon his family. + </p> + <p> + On his entering, there was a slight low murmur of approbation, but the + appearance of his mother caused it to die away. This, however, was almost + immediately succeeded by another of a very different character—one + in which there was a blending of many feelings—compassion, rage, + revenge. The first thing the young man did was to take a candle in his + hand, and hold it first close to his mother, so as that she might be + distinctly seen, and afterward, near to his own face, in order that she + might have a clear and equally distinct view of him. “Mother,” said he, + then, in a full voice, “do you know your son?” Her eye was upon him as he + spoke, but it was vacant; there appeared no trace of recognition or + meaning in it. + </p> + <p> + “You all see that miserable sight,” said he—“there my mother stands, + and doesn't know who it is that is spaking to her. There she stands, + blasted and destroyed by the oppressor. You all see this heart-breaking + sight with your own eyes, and you all know who did it.” + </p> + <p> + 'Tis singular how closely virtue and crime are allied! The very sympathy + excited by this touching and melancholy spectacle—the very + tenderness of the compassion that was felt for the mother and son, + hardened the heart in a different sense, and stimulated them to vengeance. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said the young man, whose name was Owen, “let them that have been + oppressed and harassed by this Vulture, state their grievances, one at a + time.” + </p> + <p> + An old man near sixty rose up, and after two or three attempts to speak, + was overpowered by his feelings, and burst into tears. “Poor Jemmy + Devlin!” they exclaimed, “may God pity you!” + </p> + <p> + “Spake for Jemmy, some of you, as the poor man isn't able to spake for + himself.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, the case was this,” said a neighbor of the poor man's. “Jemmy's son, + Peter, was abused by Phil, the boy, because he didn't pay him duty-work, + and neglect his own harvest. He told Peter that he was a Popish rebel and + would be hanged. Peter told him to his teeth that he was a liar, and that + he couldn't be good, havin' the father's bastard dhrop in him. That was + very well, but one night in about a month afterwards, the house was + surrounded by the bloodhounds, poor Peter's clo'es searched, and some + Ribbon papers found in them; they also got, or pretended to get, other + papers in the thatch of the house. The boy was dragged out of his bed, + sent to goal, tried, found guilty on the evidence of the bloodhounds, and + sentenced to be flogged three times; but never was flogged a third time, + for he died on the fourth day after the second flogging; and so, bein' an + only son—indeed all the child the poor couple had—the old man + is now childless and distracted, God help him!” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” exclaimed Owen bitterly—“very well—who next?” + </p> + <p> + A man named M'Mahon rose up,—“The curse of the Almighty God may for + ever rest upon him!” he exclaimed. “He transported my two brave sons, + because they were White-boys; and if they were, who made them Whiteboys + but himself and his cruelty? I will never see my darling sons' faces + again, but if I die without settlin' accounts wid him, may I never know + happiness here or hereafter!” + </p> + <p> + The usual murmur of commiseration followed this. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Owen, “whose turn comes next?” + </p> + <p> + About a dozen of those who had been turned out of Drum Dhu now stood up. + </p> + <p> + “We were turned out,” said one of them, who acted as spokesman, “on one of + the bittherest days that God ever sent on the earth; out of shame, I + believe, because your brother and ould Mary Casey died, he let us back for + a few days, but after that we had to flit. Some of the houses he had + pulled down, and then he had to build them again for his voters. Oh, if it + was only known what we suffered!” + </p> + <p> + “And why did he turn you out?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, because we didn't promise to vote as he wished.” + </p> + <p> + “He took my crop,” said another, “at his own valuation, drew it home, and + stacked it until the markets rose. I know what he got beyond the rent,” + proceeded the man, “but divil a rap ever the villain gave me back of the + surplus, but put it in his pocket—and now I and my family are + starving.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, and,” said another, “he took five firkins of as good butter from me + as ever was made by hand, and at his own price, too. What could I do?—he + said it was as a friend he did it; but if I objected to it, he said he + must only seize. May the divil seize him, at any rate, as he will, the + villain, I trust in God! He got to my own knowledge, thirteen pence a + pound for it, and all he allowed me for it was eight pence halfpenny. May + the devil run an auger through him, or baste his sowl wid it, this night; + for of all the villains that ever cursed an estate, he's the greatest—barrin' + the scoundrel that employs him.” + </p> + <p> + A poor but decent-looking man rose up. “I could bear,” said he, “his + cheating, or his defrauding me out of my right—I could bear that, + although it's bad enough too; but when I think of the shame and disgrace + his son brought upon my innocent girl, undher his father's roof, where she + was at sarvice—may God curse him this night! My child—my child—when + I think of what she was, and what she is, sure the thought of it is enough + to drive me distracted, and to break my heart. Are we to live undher sich + men? Ought we to allow sich villains to tramp us undher their feet? When I + spoke to his blasted son about ruinin' my child—'My good fellow,' + says he, 'if you don't keep a civil tongue in your head, I will trot you + off the estate—I will send you to graze somewhere else. It's d—d + proud you ought to feel for your daughter having a child by the like o' + me;'—for that's the way—they first injure us, and kick us + about as they plaise, and then laugh at and insult us.” + </p> + <p> + Another man got up. “You all know,” said he, “that I hould fourteen acres + in the townland of Augha-Winchal; and when Jerry Grogan went to America + last spring, I offered for his farm of twelve acres, that lay into my own, + marchin it. I offered him the rent he axed, which indeed was too much at + any rate—but it lay so snug to me, that I could take more out of it + than another. 'You shall have the farm, Frank,' said he; 'but if you do, + there must be ten pounds of an Imput.'* Well and good, I paid him the ten + pounds, and Paddy Gormly, of Aughadarragh, gave him another Input for the + same farm; and yet, hell bellis the villain, he gave it to neither of us, + but to one of his own Blood-hounds, who gave him twenty for it. But that + wasn't all—when I axed him for my money, he laughs in iny face, and + says, 'Is 'it jokin' you are? Keep yourself quiet,' says he, 'or may be + I'll make it a black joke to you.' Hell re-save him!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Imput—a douceur—or, in other words, a bribe to the + agent, on entering upon a farm. +</pre> + <p> + “He engaged me, and my horse and car,” said another, “and Toal Hart with + his, in the same way; to draw stones from Kilrud-den; and he said that + whatever we earned he'd allow us in the rint. Of coorse we were glad to + bounce at it; and, indeed, he made us both believe that it was a favor he + did us. So far so good; but when the rint day came, hell purshue the + testher he'd allow either of us; but threatened and abused us, callin' us + names till the dogs wouldn't lick our blood. The Lord conshume him for a + netarnal villain!” + </p> + <p> + “That's all very well, but yait till you hear how he sarved me out,” said + a poor, simple-looking creature. “It was at the gale day before the last, + that I went to him wid my six guineas of rint. 'Paddy Hanlon,' says he, + 'I'm glad to see you; an', Paddy, I've something in my eye for you; but + don't be spakin' of it. Is that the rent?—hand it to me—an', + Paddy, as this is Hurry Day with me—do like a good decent man, call + down on Saturday about twelve o'clock, and I'll give you your receipt, and + mention the other thing.' By coorse I went highly delighted; but the + receipt he gave me was a notice to pay the same gale over agin, tellin' me + besides, that of all the complatest rascals ever came acrass him I was the + greatest; that he'd banish me off the estate and what not! Accordingly, I + had to pay the same rint twiste. Now will any one tell me how that man can + prosper by robbin' and oppressin the poor in this way? Hell scorch him!” + </p> + <p> + The next that rose was a tall, thin-looking man, with much care and sorrow + in his face. “Many a happy day,” he said, “did I and mine spend under this + roof; and now we may say that we hardly have a roof to cover us. Myself, + and my wife, hould a cabin on' the estate of Major Richardson. My sons and + daughters, instead of living comfortably at home with us, are now + scattered abroad, earnin' their hard bread on other people's floors. And + why? Because the Vulture's profligate son couldn't succeed in ruinin' one + of my daughters; and because her brother 'Tom tould him that if ever he + catched him comin' about the place again, or annoyin' his sisther, he'd + split him with a spade. Afther that, they were both very friendly—father + and son—and when I brought my half-year's rent—'never mind + now,' said they, 'bring it home, Andy; maybe you may want it for something + else that 'ud be useful to you. Buy a couple o' cows—or keep it till + next rent day; we won't hurry you—you're a dacent man, and we + respect you.' Well, I did put the money to other uses, when what should + come down on me when the next half year's rent was due, but an Execution. + He got a man of his own to swear that I was about to run away wid the + rent, and go to America; and in a few days we were scattered widout a + house to cover us. May the Lord reward him accordin' to his works!” + </p> + <p> + There were other unprincipled cases where Phil's profligacy was brought to + bear upon the poverty and destitution of the uneducated and unprotected + female; but it is not our intention to do more than to allude to them. + </p> + <p> + We now return to young O'Regan himself, who, at the conclusion, once more + got a candle, and precisely in the same manner as he had done in the + beginning, held it up and asked in a full firm voice, “mother, do you know + your son?” And again received the same melancholy and unconscious gaze. + “Now,” said he, “you've all heard an account, and a true account, of these + two villains' conduct. What have they left undone? They have cheated you, + robbed you, and oppressed you in every shape. They have scourged to death + and transported your sons—and they have ruined your daughters, and + brought them to sin and shame—sorrow and distraction. What have they + left undone, I ax again? Haven't they treated yez like the dirt under + their feet? hunted yez like bloodhounds, as they are—and as if ye + were mad dogs? What is there that they haven't made yez suffer? Shame, + sin, poverty, hardship, bloodshed, ruin, death, and madness; look there”—he + added, vehemently pointing to his insane mother—“there's one proof + that you see; and you've heard and know the rest. And now for their + trial.” + </p> + <p> + Those blood-stirring observations were followed by a deep silence, in + fact, like that of death. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said he, pulling out a paper, “I have marked down here twelve names + that I will read for you. They are to act as a jury; they are to thry them + both for their lives—and then to let us hear their sentence.” + </p> + <p> + He then read over the twelve names, every man answering to his name as he + called them out. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” he proceeded, “this is how you are to act; your silence will give + consent to any question that is asked of you. Are you willin' that these + twelve men should thry Valentine M'Clutchy and his son for their lives; + and that the sentence is to be put in execution on them?” To this there + was a profound and ominous silence. + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said he, “you agree to this. Now,” said he to the jurors, + “find your sentence.” + </p> + <p> + The men met together, and whispered in the centre of the floor, for a few + minutes—when he, who acted as foreman, turned towards O'Regan and + said—“They're doomed.” + </p> + <p> + “To what death?” + </p> + <p> + “To be both shot.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you all satisfied with this sentence?” + </p> + <p> + Another silence as deep and ominous as before. + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said he, “you all agree. As for the sentence, it is a just + one; none of you need throuble yourselves any farther about that; you may + take my word for it, that it will be carried into execution. Are you + willing it should?” + </p> + <p> + For the third time an unbroken silence. “That's enough,” said he; “and now + let us go quietly home.” + </p> + <p> + “It is not enough,” said a voice at the door; “let none depart without my + permission, I command you;” and the words were no sooner uttered than the + venerable Father Roche entered the house. + </p> + <p> + “Wretched and misguided men,” said he, to what a scene of blood and crime + have I just now been an ear witness? Are you men who live under my + ministry?—who have so often heard and attended to my sincere and + earnest admonitions? I cannot think ye are, and yet, I see no face here + that is unknown to me. Oh, think for a moment, reflect, if you can, upon + what you have been doing!—planning the brutal, ungodly murder of two + of your fellow creatures! And What makes the crime still more revolting, + these two fellow creatures father and son. What constituted you judges + over them? If they have oppressed you, and driven many of you to ruin and + distress, and even to madness, yet, do you not know that there is a just + God above to whom they must be accountable for the deeds done in the + flesh? Are you to put yourselves in the place of the Almighty?—to + snatch the sceptre of justice and judgment out of his hands, and take that + awful office into your own, which belongs only to him? Are ye indeed mad, + my friends? Do you not know that out of the multitude assembled here this + moment there is not one of you whose life would not be justly forfeited to + the law? not one. I paused at the half closed door before I entered, and + was thus enabled to hear your awful, your guilty, your blasphemous + proceedings. Justice belongs to God, and in mocking justice you mock the + God of Justice.” + </p> + <p> + “But you don't know, Father Roche,” said O'Regan, “you couldn't imagine + all the villany he and his son have been guilty of, and all they've made + the people suffer.” + </p> + <p> + “I do know it too well; and these are grievances that God in his own good + time will remove; but it is not for us to stain our souls with guilt in + order to redress them. Now, my children, do you believe that I feel an + interest in your welfare, and in your happiness hereafter? Do you believe + this?” + </p> + <p> + “We do, sir; who feels for us as you do?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, will you give me a proof of this?” + </p> + <p> + “Name it, sir, name it.” + </p> + <p> + “I know you will,” continued the old man; “I know you will. Then, in the + name of the merciful God, I implore, I entreat—and, if that will not + do, then, as his servant, and the humble minister of his word and will—I + command you to disavow the murderous purpose you have come to this night. + Heavenly Father,” said he, looking up with all the fervor of sublime + piety, “we entreat you to take from these mistaken men the wicked + intention of imbruing their guilty hands in blood; teach them a clear + sense of Christian duty; to love their very enemies; to forgive all + injuries that may be inflicted on them; and to lead such lives as may + never be disturbed by a sense of guilt or the tortures of remorse!” The + tears flowed fast down his aged cheeks as he spoke, and his deep sobbings + for some time prevented him from speaking. Those whom he addressed were + touched, awakened, melted. He proceeded:— + </p> + <p> + “Take pity on their condition, O Lord, and in thine own good time, if it + be thy will, let their unhappy lot in this life be improved! But, above, + all things, soften their hearts, inspire them with good and pious + purposes, and guard them from the temptations of revenge! They are my + flock—they are my children—and, as such, thou knowest how I + lave and feel for them!” + </p> + <p> + They were more deeply moved, more clearly awakened, and more penetratingly + touched. Several sobs were heard towards the close of his prayer, and a + new spirit was diffused among them. + </p> + <p> + “Now, my children,” said he, “will you obey the old man that loves you?” + </p> + <p> + “We will,” was the universal response, “we will obey you.” + </p> + <p> + “Then,” said he, “you promise in the presence of God, that you will not + injure Valentine M'Clutchy and his son?” + </p> + <p> + “In the presence of God we promise,” was the unanimous reply. + </p> + <p> + “Then, my children, may the blessing of Almighty God be with you, and + guard and protect you wherever you go. And now proceed home, and sleep + with consciences unburthened by guilt.” + </p> + <p> + And thus were Valentine M'Clutchy and his son saved, on this occasion, by + the very man whom they termed “a rebellious Popish priest.” + </p> + <p> + It was observed, however, by most of those present that Owen O'Regan + availed himself of the good priest's remonstrance to disappear from the + meeting—thus evading the solemn obligation to refrain from crime, + into which all the rest entered. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVI.—Harman's Interview with Mary M'Loughlin + </h2> + <p> + —An Execution for Rent Forty Years ago—Gordon Harvey's + Friendly Remonstrance with his Brother Orangemen. + </p> + <p> + The development, by Poll Doolin, of the diabolical plot against Mary + M'Loughlin's character, so successfully carried into effect by Phil and + Poll herself, took a deadly weight off Harman's heart. Mary, the following + morning, little aware that full justice had been rendered her, was sitting + in the parlor with her mother, who had been complaining for a day or two + of indisposition, and would have admitted more fully the alarming' + symptoms she felt, were it not for the declining health of her daughter. + If there be one misery in life more calculated than another to wither and + consume the heart, to make society odious, man to look like a blot in the + creation, and the very providence of God doubtful, it is to feel one's + character publicly slandered and misrepresented by the cowardly and + malignant, by the skulking scoundrel and the moral assassin—to feel + yourself loaded with imputations that are false, calumnious, and cruel. + Mary M'Loughlin felt all this bitterly. + </p> + <p> + In her heart; so bitterly, indeed, that all relish for life had departed + from her. She was now spiritless, hopeless, without an aim or object, or + anything to sustain her, or to give interest to existence. Philosophy, + which too often knows little about actual life, tells us that a + consciousness of being innocent of the social slanders that are heaped + upon an individual, is a principle that ought to support and console him. + But the truth is, that this very consciousness of innocence is precisely + the circumstance which sharpens and poisons the arrow that pierces him, + and gives rancor to the wound. + </p> + <p> + On the morning in question, Mary sat by her mother who lay reclining on a + sofa, each kindly attempting to conceal from the other the illness which + she felt. Mary was pale, wasted, and drooping; the mother, on the + contrary, was flushed and feverish. + </p> + <p> + “I wish, my dear mother,” said she, “that you would yield to me, and go to + bed: you are certainly worse than you wish us to believe.” + </p> + <p> + “It won't signify, Mary; it's nothing but cold I got, and it will pass + away. I think nothing of myself, but it grieves my heart to see you look + so ill; why don't you strive to keep up your spirits, and to be what you + used to be? But God help you, my poor child,” said she, as the tears + started to her eyes, “sure it's hard for you to do so.” + </p> + <p> + “Mother,” she replied, “it is hard for me; I am every way surrounded with + deep and hopeless affliction. I often wish that I could lay my head + quietly in the grave; but then, I should wish to do so with my name + unstained—and, on the other hand, what is there that can bind me to + life? I am not afraid of death, but I fear to die now; I know not, mother, + what to do, I am very much to be pitied. Oh,” she added, whilst the tears + fell in torrents from her cheeks, “after all, I feel that nothing but + death can still the thoughts that disturb me, and release me from the + anguish that weighs me down and consumes me day by day.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear child,” replied her mother, “we must only trust to God, who, in + his own good time, will set everything right. As it is, there is no + respectable person in the neighborhood who believes the falsehood, with + the exception of some of the diabolical Wretch's friends.” + </p> + <p> + Mary here shuddered, and exhibited the strongest possible symptoms of + aversion, even to momentary sickness. + </p> + <p> + “If,” pursued the mother, “the unfortunate impression could be removed + from poor, mistaken Harman, all would be soon right.” + </p> + <p> + The mention of Harman deeply affected the poor girl; she made no reply, + but for some minutes wept in great bitterness. + </p> + <p> + “Mother,” said she, after a little time, “I fear you are concealing the + state of your own health; I am sure, from your flushed face and oppressive + manner of speaking, that you are worse than you think yourself, or will + admit.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, to tell the truth, Mary, I fear I am; I feel certainly very + feverish—I am burning.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, for heaven's sake, go to bed, my dear mother; and let the doctor at + once be sent for.” + </p> + <p> + “If I don't get easier soon, I will,” replied her mother, “I do not much + like going to bed, it looks so like a fit of sickness.” + </p> + <p> + At this moment a tap at the door announced a visitor, and almost + immediately Harman entered the parlor. It is scarcely necessary to say, + that Mary was quite unprepared for his appearance, as indeed was her + mother. The latter sat up on the sofa, but spoke not, for she scarcely + knew in what terms to address him. Mary, though much moved previous to his + entrance, now assumed the appearance of a coldness, which in her heart she + did not feel. That her lover, who ought to have known her so well, should + have permitted himself to be borne away by such an ungenerous suspicion of + her fidelity, was a reflection which caused her many a bitter pang. On the + other hand, when she looked back upon the snare into which she had been + drawn, it was impossible not to admit that the force of appearances made a + strong case against her. For this reason, therefore, she scarcely blamed + Harman, whilst, at the same time, she certainly felt that there was + something due to her previous character, and the maidenly delicacy of her + whole life. + </p> + <p> + “You are surprised, Mary, to see me here,” said Harman; “and you, Mrs. + M'Loughlin, are no doubt equally so?” + </p> + <p> + “I think it is very natural we should be, James,” replied Mrs. M'Loughlin. + “I must confess that your visit is an unexpected one certainly, and my + anxiety now is, to know the cause to which we may attribute it. Sit down.” + </p> + <p> + He did not sit, however, but exclaimed—“Good heavens, what is this? + Why, Mary, I should scarcely have known you. This change is dreadful.” + </p> + <p> + Neither of the females spoke; but the daughter bestowed on him a single + look—long, fixed, and sorrowful—which did more to reprove and + soften him, than any language could have done. It went to his heart—it + filled him with grief, repentance, remorse. For many a day and night + afterwards, her image, and that look, were before him, exerting a power + over his soul, which kindled his love to a height it would never otherwise + have reached. He approached her. + </p> + <p> + “What reparation do I not owe you, my beloved Mary, for my base and + ungenerous belief in that scoundrel's vile calumny? Such reparation, + however, as I can make, I will. You are not aware that Poll Doolin has + confessed and disclosed the whole infamous plot; and in a few days the + calumny will be extinct. As for me, you know not what a heavy weight + pressed my heart down to the uttermost depths of suffering. I have not + been without other calamities—yet this, I take heaven to witness, + was the only one I felt.” + </p> + <p> + There was a tone of deep feeling and earnest sincerity in his words, which + could not for a moment be mistaken. His face, too, was pale, and full of + care, and his person much thinner than it had been. + </p> + <p> + Mary saw all this at a glance—as did her mother. “Poor James,” said + the latter, “you have had your own troubles, and severe ones, too, since + we saw you last.” + </p> + <p> + “They are gone,” he replied; “I care not, and think little about them, now + that Mary's character is vindicated. If I should never see her, never + speak to her more, the consciousness that she is the same angelic being + that I first found her to be, would sustain me under the severest and most + depressing calamities of life. And God knows,” he said, “I am likely to + experience them in their worst shape; but, still, I have courage now to + bear up against them.” + </p> + <p> + On approaching Mary nearer, he perceived that her eyes were suffused with + tears—and the sight deeply affected him. “My dear Mary,” said he, + “is there not one word for me? Oh, believe me, if ever man felt deep + remorse I do.” + </p> + <p> + She put her hand out to him, and almost at the same instant became + insensible. In a moment he placed her, by her mother's desire, on the + sofa, and rang the bell for some of the servants to attend. Indeed, it + would be difficult, if not impossible, to look upon a more touching + picture of sorrow and suffering than that pure-looking and beautiful girl + presented as she lay there insensible; her pale but exquisite features + impressed with a melancholy at once deep and tender, as was evinced by the + large tear-drops that lay upon her cheeks. + </p> + <p> + “May God grant that her heart be not broken,” exclaimed her mother, “and + that she be not already beyond the reach of all that our affections would + hope and wish! Poor girl,” she added, “the only portion of the calamity + that touched her to her heart was the reflection that you had ceased to + love her!” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. M'Loughlin whilst she spoke kept her eyes fixed upon her daughter's + pale but placid face; and whilst she did so, she perceived that a few + large tears fell upon it, and literally mingled with those of the poor + sufferer's which had been there before. She looked up and saw that Harman + was deeply moved. + </p> + <p> + “Even if it should be so,” he exclaimed, “I shall be only justly punished + for having; dared to doubt her.” + </p> + <p> + A servant having now entered, a little cold water was got, which, on being + sprinkled over her face and applied to her lips, aided in recovering her. + </p> + <p> + “Your appearance,” said she, “and the intelligence you brought were so + unexpected, and my weakness so great, that I felt myself overcome; + however, I am better—I am better, now;” but whilst she uttered these + words her voice grew tremulous, and they were scarcely out of her lips + when she burst out into an excessive fit of weeping. For several minutes + this continued, and she appeared to feel relieved; she then entered into + conversation, and was able to talk with more ease and firmness than she + had evinced for many a day before. It was just then that a knock came to + the hall door, and in a couple of minutes about a dozen of Val's + blood-hounds, selected to act as bailiffs and keepers—a task to + which they were accustomed—entered the house with an Execution to + seize for rent. This, at all times and under all circumstances, is a scene + in which a peculiar license is given to brutality and ruffianism; but in + the present case there were additional motives; with which the reader is + already acquainted, for insulting this family. Not that the mere-levying + of an Execution was a matter of novelty to either Mary or her mother, for + of late there had unfortunately been several in the house and on their + property before. These, however, were conducted with a degree of civility + that intimated respect for, if not sympathy with, the feelings of a family + so inoffensive, so beneficial to the neighborhood by the employment they + afforded, and, in short, every way so worthy of respect. + </p> + <p> + “What is all this about?” asked Harman. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said one of the fellows, “we're seizin' for rent: that's what it's + about.” + </p> + <p> + “Rent,” observed the other, surprised, “why, it is only a few minutes + since Mr. M'Loughlin told me that M'Clutchy assured him—” + </p> + <p> + “Captain M'Clutchy, sir, if you plaise.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well—Captain M'Clutchy, or Colonel M'Olutchy, if you wish, + assured him that—” + </p> + <p> + “I have nothing to do with what he assured him,” replied the fellow; “my + duty is to take an inventory of the furniture; beg pardon, ladies, but we + must do our duty you know.” + </p> + <p> + “Let them have their way,” said Mrs. M'Loughlin, “let them have their way; + I know what they are capable of. Mary, my dear, be firm—as I said + before—our only trust is in God, my child.” + </p> + <p> + “I am firm, my dear mother; for, as James said, the grief of griefs has + been removed from me. I can now support myself under anything—but + you—indeed, James, she is battling against illness these three or + four days—and will not go to bed; it is for you I now feel, mother.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. M'Loughlin and his family here entered; and truth to tell, boundless + was the indignation of the honest fellow, at this most oppressive and + perfidious proceeding on the part of the treacherous agent. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said he, “I knew it—and I said it—but let the scoundrel + do his worst; I scorn him, and I defy him in the very height of his + ill-gotten authority. My children,” said he, “keep yourselves cool. Let + not this cowardly act of oppression and revenge disturb or provoke you. + This country, as it is at present governed—and this property as it + is at present managed—is no place for us to live in. Let the + scoundrel then do his worst. As for us, we will follow the example of + other respectable families, who, like ourselves, have been forced to seek + a home in a distant country. We will emigrate to America, as soon as I can + conveniently make arrangements for that purpose; for God knows I am sick + of my native land, and the petty oppressors which in so many ways harass + and goad the people almost to madness.” + </p> + <p> + He had no sooner uttered these words, than the fellow whose name was + Hudson, whispered to one of his companions, who immediately disappeared + with something like a grin of exultation on his countenance. Mrs. + M'Loughlin's illness was now such as she could no longer attempt to + conceal. The painful shock occasioned by this last vindictive proceeding + on the part of M'Clutchy, came at a most unhappy moment. Overcome by that + and her illness, she was obliged to go to bed, aided by her husband and + her daughter; but before she went, it was considered necessary to get one + of the ruffians, as an act of favor, to take an inventory of the furniture + in her chamber, in order that her sick room might not be intruded upon + afterwards. + </p> + <p> + Mary having put her sick mother to bed, returned to the parlor, from + whence she was proceeding to the kitchen, to make whey with her own hands + for the invalid, when in passing along the hall, Harman and her brother + John met her. She was in a hurry, and was about to pass without speaking a + word, when she and they were startled by the following dialogue— + </p> + <p> + “So, Bob, did you see the pale beauty in the parlor?” + </p> + <p> + “I did, she's a devilish pretty girl.” + </p> + <p> + “She is so—well, but do you know that she is one of Mr. Phil's + ladies. Sure he was caught in her bed-room some time ago.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, every one knows that; and it appears she is breaking her heart + because he won't make an honest woman of her.” + </p> + <p> + John caught his sister, whose agitation, was dreadful, and led her away; + making at the same time, a signal to Harman to remain quiet until his + return—a difficult task, and. Harman felt it so. In the meantime, + the. following appendix was added to the dialogue already detailed— + </p> + <p> + “Why do you hould such talk under this, roof, Leeper?” asked a third + voice. + </p> + <p> + The only reply given to this very natural query was a subdued cackle, + evidently proceeding from the two first speakers. + </p> + <p> + “Do you both see that strong horse-pistol,” said the third voice—for + in those days; an Execution was almost always levied by armed men—“by + the Bible of truth, if I hear another word of such conversation from any + man here while we're under this roof, I'll sink the butt of it into his + skull! It's bad enough that we're here on an unpleasant duty—” + </p> + <p> + “Unpleasant! speak for yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “Silence, you ruffian—on an unpleasant-duty; but that's no reason + that we should grieve the hearts and insult the feelings of a respectable + family like this. The truth, or rather the blasted falsehood that was put + out on the young lady is now known almost everywhere, for Poll Doolin has + let out the truth. + </p> + <p> + “But didn't Misther Phil desire us to say it, so as that they might hear + us.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Phil's a cowardly scoundrel, and nothing else; but, mark me, Phil or + no Phil, keep your teeth shut on that subject.” + </p> + <p> + “Just as much or as little of that as we like, if you please, Mr. ——.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, you know my mind—so take the consequences, that's all.” + </p> + <p> + “Here goes then,” said the ruffian, speaking in a deliberately loud voice, + “it's well known that Miss M'Loughlin is Misther Phil's——” + </p> + <p> + A heavy blow, followed by a crash on the floor—a brief conflict as + if with another person, another blow, and another crash followed. Harman, + in a state of feeling which our readers may imagine, but which we cannot + describe, pushed in the door, which, in fact, was partially open. + </p> + <p> + “What, what is this?” he asked, pretending ignorance, “is it fighting + among yourselves you are? Fie, fie! Gordon Harvey, what is the matter?” + </p> + <p> + “Only a little quarrel of our own, Mr. Harman,” replied the excellent + fellow. “The truth is, sir, that these men—ay, gather yourselves up, + do; you ought to have known Gordon Harvey's blow, for you have often + enough heard of it before now; there is no great mistake about that, you + scoundrels—the truth is, Mr. Harman, that these fellows were primed + with whiskey at M'Clutchy's and they gave me provoking language that I + couldn't bear; it's well for them that I didn't take the butt end of + that,” said he, holding up the horse-pistol in his left hand, “but you'll + find ten for one that would rather have a taste of it than of this;” + shutting his right—which was a perfect sledgehammer, and, when shut, + certainly the more formidable weapon of the two. + </p> + <p> + The two ruffians had now gathered themselves up, and appeared to be + considerably sobered by Harvey's arguments. They immediately retired to a + corner of the room, where they stood with a sullen but vindictive look—cowardly + and ferocious, ready to revenge on M'Loughlin's family the punishment + which they had received, but durst not resent, at the hands of Harvey—unquestionably + one of the most powerful and generous Orangemen that was ever known in + Castle Cumber. Let us not for a moment be mistaken. The Orangemen of + Ireland contained, and still contain among them, men of great generosity, + courage, and humanity. This is undeniable and unquestionable; but then, it + is well known that these men never took any part in the outrages + perpetrated by the lower and grosser grades, unless to prevent outrage. In + nothing, indeed, was the lamentable state of the Irish Church + Establishment more painfully obvious than in the moral ignorance and + brutal bigotry, which want of Christian instruction and enlightened + education had entailed upon men, who otherwise have been a high-minded, + brave, and liberal class, had they not been corrupted by the example of + the very pastors—ungodly, loose, convivial, political, anything but + Christian—from whom they were to expect their examples and their + precepts. But to return. Harman having given a significant glance to + Harvey, left the room, and the latter immediately followed him. + </p> + <p> + “Harvey,” said he, “I have overheard the whole conversation; give me your + hand, for it is that of an honest man. I thank you, I thank you—do + try and prevent these ruffians from insulting the family.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't think the same thing will happen a second time, Mr. Harman,” + replied the gigantic Orangeman; “but, the truth is, the men are half + drunk, and were made so before they came here.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but I thank you, Harvey; deeply and from my soul, I thank you.” + </p> + <p> + “You needn't, Mr. Harman; I hate a dirty and ungenerous thing. Phil's a + brother Orangeman, and my tongue is tied—no doubt I'll be expelled + for knocking these two scoundrels down, but I don't care; it was too bad + and too cruel, and, let the upshot be what it may, Gordon Harvey is not + the man to back a scoundrelly act, no matter who does it, or who orders + it.” + </p> + <p> + They shook hands cordially, and we now must leave the family for a time, + to follow the course of other events that bear upon our narrative. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVII.—Bob Beatty's Last Illness + </h2> + <p> + —A Holy Steeple Chase—A Dead Heat—Blood against Varmint—Rival + Claims—A Mutual Disappointment—The Last Plea for Salvation—<i>Non + Compos Mentis</i> + </p> + <p> + Our readers may remember that we have alluded to an Orangeman, named Bob + Beatty, who had become a convert to the Church of Rome. This Beatty, on + the part of the priest, was a very fair set-off against Darby O'Drive, on + the part of Mr. Lucre. As they were now on the eve of the great + discussion, each felt considerable gratification in having his convert + ready to produce at the discussion, as a living proof of his zeal for + religious truth. The principal vexation which the priest had felt, lay in + the almost insuperable difficulty of keeping Bob from liquor, inasmuch as + whenever he happened to take a glass too much, he always forgot his + conversion, and generally drank the Glorious Memory, and all other charter + toasts, from habit. It so happened, however, that a few days previous to + the great Tournay, Bob became so ill in health, that there was little hope + of his surviving any length of time. During this illness, he had several + interviews with. Father Roche, who informed him of the near approach of + death, and prepared him, as well as could readily be done, to meet it; for + truth to tell, he was at all times an impracticable subject on which to + produce religious impressions. Be this as it may, a day or two previous to + the discussion, his wife, feeling that he was near his dissolution, and + determined, if possible, that he should not die a Roman Catholic, went in + hurry for Mr. Clement, who happened to be in attendance on a funeral and + was consequently from home. In the meantime, his Roman Catholic neighbor, + hearing that she meant to fetch the minister, naturally anxious that the + man should not die a Protestant, lost no time in acquainting Father M'Cabe + with his situation. Mrs. Beatty, however, finding that Mr. Clement was not + to be procured, left her message with his family, and proceeded in all + haste to Mr. Lucre's in order to secure his attendance. + </p> + <p> + “My good woman,” said he, “your husband, I trust, is not in such danger. + Mr. Clement cannot certainly be long absent, and he will attend; I am not + quite well, or I should willingly go myself.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said the woman, “between you, I suppose, you will let the + priest, M'Cabe have him; and then it will be said he died a Papish.” + </p> + <p> + “What's that?” inquired Mr. Lucre, with an interest which he could not + conceal; “what has M'Cabe to do with him?” + </p> + <p> + “Why,”, returned the woman, “he has made him a Papish, but I want him to + die a True Blue, and not shame the family.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall attend,” said Lucre; “I shall lose no time in attending. What's + your husband's name?” + </p> + <p> + “Bob Beatty, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes, he is subject to epilepsy.” + </p> + <p> + “The same, sir.” + </p> + <p> + She then gave him directions to find the house, and left him making very + earnest and rapid preparations to do what he had not done for many a long + year—attend a death-bed; and truly his absence was no loss. + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, Father M'Cabe having heard an account of Bob's state, and + that the minister had been sent for, was at once upon the alert, and lost + not a moment in repairing to his house. So very eager, indeed, were these + gentlemen, and so equal their speed, that they met at the cross-roads, one + of which turned to Bob's house. In the meantime, we may as well inform our + readers here, that Bob himself had, in his wife's presence, privately sent + for Father Roche. + </p> + <p> + Each instantly suspected the object of the other, and determined in his + own mind, if possible, to frustrate it. + </p> + <p> + “So, sir,” said the priest, “you are on your way to Bob Beatty's, who is, + as you know, one of my flock. But how do you expect to get through the + business, Mr. Lucre, seeing that you are so long out of practice?” + </p> + <p> + “Bob Beatty was never, properly speaking, one of your flock, Mr. M'Cabe. I + must beg leave to ride forward, sir, and leave you to your Christian + meditations. One interview with you is enough for any man.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, but I love you too well to part with you so easily,” said the + priest, spurring on his horse, “cheek by jowl—and a beautiful one + you have—will I ride with you, my worthy epicure; and, what is more, + I'll anoint Bob Beatty before your eyes.” + </p> + <p> + “And, perhaps, perform another miracle,” replied Mr. Lucre, bitterly. + </p> + <p> + “Ay will, if it be necessary,” said the priest; “but I do most solemnly + assure you that by far the most brilliant miracle of modern days is to + find the Rev. Phineas Lucre at a sick-bed. Depend upon it, however, if + Beatty had not turned Catholic, he might die like a dog for the same Mr. + Lucre.” + </p> + <p> + “I will not abstract the last shilling from his pocket for the unction of + superstition, at all events.” + </p> + <p> + “Not you, faith; you'll charge him nothing I grant, and right glad am I to + find that you know the value of your services. You forget, however, that + my flock pay you well for doing this nothing—that is, for + discharging your duty—notwithstanding.” + </p> + <p> + Both now pushed on at a rapid rate, growling at each other as they went + along. On getting into the fields they increased their speed; and as the + peasantry of both religions were apprised of the circumstances connected + with Bob's complaint and conversion, each party cheered on their own + champion. + </p> + <p> + “More power to you Father M'Cabe; give him the Latin and the Bravery!” + (*Breviary) + </p> + <p> + “Success, Mr. Lucre! Push on, sir, and don't let the Popish rebel send him + out of the world with a bandage on his eyes. Lay in the Bible, Mr. Lucre! + Protestant and True Blue forever—hurra!” + </p> + <p> + “The true Church forever, Father M'Cabe, the jewel that you war! Give the + horse the spurs, avourneen. Sowl, Paddy, but the <i>bodagh</i> parson has + the advantage of him in the <i>cappul</i>. Push on, your reverence; you + have the divil and the parson against you, for the one's drivin' on the + other.” + </p> + <p> + “Cross the corner of the Barny Mother's meadow, Mr. Lucre, and wheel in at + the garden ditch; your horse can do it, although you ride the heaviest + weight. Lay on him, sir, and think of Protestant Ascendancy. King William + against Popery and wooden shoes; hurra!” + </p> + <p> + “Father, achora, keep your shoulder to the wind, and touch up <i>Parra + Gastha</i> (* Literally, Paddy Speedy) wid the spurs. A groan for the + Protestant parson, father darlin'!” + </p> + <p> + “Three groans for the Popish Mass Book. Bravo, Mr. Lucre! That ditch was + well cleared!” + </p> + <p> + “Devil a purtier, father jewel! Parra Gastha's a darlin', and brought you + over like a bird—hurra!” + </p> + <p> + “Have you no whip, Mr. Lucre? Whip and spur, sir, or the Popish garran + will be in before you. By the great Boyne, I'm afraid the charger's + blown.” + </p> + <p> + “God enable you, father avilish! Blown! Why what would you expect, an' it + the first visit ever the same horse made to a sick-bed' in his life; he + now finds it isn't on the king's highway he is—and I'll go bail it's + himself that's cursin' the same duty in his heart. Bravo, Father Pat! + Parra Gastha's the boy that knows his duty—more power, Parra Gastha! + Divil pursue the hair's turned on him; but, be me sowl, it wouldn't be so, + if he led the life the Protestant blood did.—feedin' high, and doin' + nothin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Lucre, pull out; I see you're hard up, sir, and so is your charger. + Push him, sir, even if he should drop. Death and Protestantism before + Popery and dishonor! Hurra, well done!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, be me sowl, it's near the last gasp wid him and his masther, and no + wondher; they're both divilish far out of their element. Faith, if they + had Father M'Cabe and Parra Gastha's practice, they wouldn't be the show + they are this minute. Well done both! fresh and fair, snug and dry, you do + it. Hurra!” + </p> + <p> + When the two worthy gentlemen had reached Bob's house, they dismounted, + each in a perspiration, and rushed to the bed of the dying man. Mr. Lucre + sat, of course, at one side, and the priest at the other; Mr. Lucre seized + the right hand, and the priest the left: whilst Bob looked at them both + alternately, and gave a cordial squeeze to each. + </p> + <p> + “You thought, sir,” said Mr. Lucre to the priest haughtily, “that he would + have died an idolater.” + </p> + <p> + Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand again. + </p> + <p> + “And you thought,” replied Father M'Cabe, “that he would die a Protestant + or a heretic, which is the same thing.” + </p> + <p> + Bob squeezed Father M'Cabe's hand once more. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said Bob, “be pleased to sit down—you are both + Christian ministers, I hope.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Father M'Cabe, “there is but one of us a Christian; Mr. Lucre + here is not worthy of the name, Bob.” + </p> + <p> + Bob squeezed the priest's hand a third time. + </p> + <p> + “Beatty,” said Mr. Lucre, “this is a solemn occasion, and I'm bound to + say, that the priest here is merely a representative of Antichrist. This + is not a time to disguise the truth.” + </p> + <p> + Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand a third time also. + </p> + <p> + “Beatty,” continued Mr. Lucre, “if you permit yourself to die a Papist, + you seal your own everlasting punishment.” + </p> + <p> + “True,” said Bob. + </p> + <p> + “Bob,” said the priest, “if after the explanations of the true church + which I have given you, you allow yourself to relapse into heresy, you + will suffer for it during all eternity.” + </p> + <p> + “True,” said Bob. + </p> + <p> + “There is no hope for those, who, like the Papists and idolators, hew for + themselves vessels that will hold no water,” said Lucre. + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0006" id="linkimage-0006"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/plate322.jpg" + alt="Page 322-- 'ah, Very Right,' Said Bob. " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + “Ah, very right,” said Bob. + </p> + <p> + “There is but one Faith, one Church, and one Baptism, and that is ours,” + said the priest. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, you can do it,” said Bob, with a squeeze. + </p> + <p> + “Bob,” said the wife, “what do you mean? I don't understand you—die + a True Blue, and don't shame your friends.” + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said Bob, “I feel disposed to sleep a little. It is likely + that a few minutes' rest may strengthen my weak body, and clear my mind + for the consolations of religion, which you are both so beautifully + prepared to give me. I feel rather drowsy, so I'll close my eyes for a few + minutes, and doze a little.” + </p> + <p> + Bob closed his eyes for about four mortal hours and a half, during which + time our two worthy gentlemen sat at his bed-side with the most exemplary + patience. At length he opened his eyes, and inquired for his daughter + Fanny, who had been sent for Father Roche; to her he whispered a few + words, after which she went out, but almost immediately returned. He + looked at her inquiringly, and she answered: + </p> + <p> + “Yes, just as I expected—in a few minutes.” + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said Bob, “I am much aisier now; but I am at a loss whether + to to prepared for heaven by you, Mr. Lucre, or by Father M'Cabe.” + </p> + <p> + “Beatty,” said Lucre, “you have have access to the Bible, and possessing, + as you do, and as you must, the Scriptural knowledge, gained from that + sacred book, to die in the church which worships crucifixes and images + would leave you without hope or excuse.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Bob, “you are sound in point of doctrine. No man is more + orthodox than you.” + </p> + <p> + “Bob,” said the priest, “you know what the Council of Trent says:— + 'There is but one Church, one Faith, and one Baptism'—if you die out + of that church, which is ours, woe betide you. No, Bob, there is no hope + for you if you die an apostate, Bob.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said Bob, “you can send it home, Father M'Cabe.” + </p> + <p> + “Bob,” said the wife, “die a True Blue, and don't shame the family.” + </p> + <p> + “There is but a blue look up for you if you do,” said Father M'Cabe. + </p> + <p> + “Blue is the emblem of hope, and for that reason the Orange system has + adopted it as illustrative of our faith,” said Mr. Lucre. + </p> + <p> + He had scarcely uttered the words, when Father Roche entered the sick + apartment. High and haughty was the bow he received from Mr. Lucre; whilst + Father M'Cabe seemed somewhat surprised at the presence of the reverend + gentlemen. The latter looked mildly about him, wiped the moisture from his + pale forehead and said— + </p> + <p> + “Mrs. Beatty, will you indulge me with a chair? On my return home I lost + not a moment in coming here; but the walk I have had is a pretty long one, + the greater part of it being up-hill.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” replied Mrs. Beatty, “I'm not the woman to think one thing and + speak another. To be sure, I'd rather he would die a True Blue than a + Papish; but since he will die one, I'd rather have you at his side than + e'er a priest in the kingdom. If there is a Christian among them, you are + one—you are—so, Bob dear, since you're bent on it, I won't + disturb you.” + </p> + <p> + “Bring your chair near me,” said Bob; “where is your hand, my dear sir? + Give Me your hand.” Poor Bob caught Father Roche's hand in his, and + pressed it honestly and warmly. + </p> + <p> + “Bob,” said Mr. Lucre, “I don't understand this; in what creed are you + disposed to die?” + </p> + <p> + “You see, sir,” said M'Cabe, “that he <i>won't</i> die in yours at any + rate.” + </p> + <p> + “You will not die in my creed!” repeated the parson, astonished. + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Bob; “I will not.” + </p> + <p> + “You will then die in mine, of course?” said Mr. M'Cabe. + </p> + <p> + “No,” replied Bob; “I will not.” + </p> + <p> + “How is that?” said the priest. + </p> + <p> + “Explain yourself,” said Mr. Lucre. + </p> + <p> + “<i>I'll die a Christian</i>,” replied Bob. “You're both anything but what + you ought to be; and if I wasn't on my death-bed you'd hear more of it. + Here is a Christian clergyman, and under his ministry I will die.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said Mr. Lucre, “I perceive, Mrs. Beatty, that the poor man's + intellect is gone; whilst his reason was sound he remained a staunch + Protestant, and as such, we shall claim him. He must be interred according + to the rights of our church, for he dies clearly <i>non compos mentis</i>.” + </p> + <p> + Father Roche now addressed himself to Beatty, and prepared him for his + great change, as became a pious and faithful minister of the gospel. + Beatty, however, was never capable of serious impressions. Still, his + feelings were as solemn as could be expected, from a man whose natural + temperament had always inclined him to facetiousness and humor. He died + the next day, after a severe fit, from which he recovered only to linger + about half an hour in a state of stupor and insensibility. + </p> + <p> + This conflict between the priest and the parson was a kind of prelude in + its way, to the great Palaver, or discussion, which was immediately to + take place between the redoubtable champions of the rival churches. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVIII.—Darby is a Spiritual Ganymede + </h2> + <p> + —Preparations for the Great Discussion, which we do not give—Extraordinary + Hope of a Modern Miracle—Solomon like an Angel looking into the + Gospel. + </p> + <p> + On the morning of the appointed day, the walls of Castle Cumber were duly + covered with placards containing the points to be discussed, and the names + of the speakers on both sides of the question. The roads leading to the + scene of controversy were thronged with people of all classes. Private + jaunting cars, gigs, and carriages of every description, rolled rapidly + along. Clergymen of every creed, various as they are, moved through the + streets with eager and hurried pace, each reverend countenance marked by + an anxious expression arising from the interest its possessor felt in the + result of the controversy. People, in fact, of all ranks and religions, + were assembled to hear the leading men on each side defend their own + creeds, and assail those of their enemies. The professional men + relinquished, for the day, their other engagements and avocations, in + order to be present; and invalids, who had not been long out of their sick + rooms, tottered down, wrapped in cloaks, to hear this great display of + learning and eloquence. Early on the preceding morning, the Catholic + Clergy, though without the sanction of their Bishops, formally signified + to the committee of the society, their intention of meeting them man to + man on the platform. Before the door was open to the crowd at large, the + opposing clergymen and the more select friends on both sides were admitted + by a private entrance. The gallery was set aside for ladies, who, in + Ireland, and we believe everywhere else, form an immense majority at + religious meetings. + </p> + <p> + When the house was thronged to suffocation, none but a man intimately + acquainted with the two-fold character of the audience, could observe much + more within it, than the sea of heads with which it was studded. The + Protestant party looked on with a less devoted, but freer aspect; not, + however, without an evident feeling and pride in the number and character + of their champions. A strong dash of enthusiasm might be seen in many fair + eyes among the females, who whispered to each other an occasional + observation concerning their respective favorites; and then turned upon + the divine champions, smiles that seemed to have been kindled by the sweet + influences of love and piety. Among the Roman Catholic party there was an + expression of wonder created by the novelty of the scene; of keen + observation, evinced by the incessant rolling of their clear Milesian eyes + from one party to another, together with something like pity and contempt + for the infatuated Biblemen, as they called them, who could so madly rush + upon the sharp theological spears of their own beloved clergymen. Dismay, + or doubt, or apprehension of any kind, were altogether out of the + question, as was evident from the proud look, the elated eye, and the + confident demeanor by which each of them might be distinguished. Here and + there, you might notice an able-bodied, coarse-faced Methodist Preacher, + with lips like sausages, sombre visage, closely cropped hair, trimmed + across his face, sighing from time to time, and, with eyes half closed, + offering up a silent prayer for victory over the Scarlet Lady; or, + perhaps, thinking of the fat ham and chicken, that were to constitute that + day's dinner, as was not improbable, if the natural meaning were to be + attached to the savory spirit with which, from time to time, he licked, or + rather sucked at, his own lips. He and his class, many of whom, however, + are excellent men, sat at a distance from the platform, not presuming to + mingle with persons who consider them as having no title to the clerical + character, except such as they conveniently bestow on each other. Not so + the Presbyterian Clergymen who were present. They mingled with their + brethren of the Establishment, from whom they differed only in a less easy + and gentlemanly deportment, but yielded to them neither in kindness of + intellect, firmness, nor the cool adroitness of men well read, and quite + as well experienced in public speaking. At the skirt of the platform sat + the unassuming Mr. Clement, a calm spectator of the proceedings; and in + the capacity of messenger appeared. Darby O'Drive, dressed in black—he + had not yet entered upon the duties of his new office—busily engaged + in bringing in, and distributing oranges and other cooling fruit, to those + of the Protestant party who were to address the meeting. High aloft, in + the most conspicuous situation on the platform, sat Solomon M'Slime, + breathing of piety, purity, and humility. He held a gilt Bible in his + hands, in order to follow the parties in their scriptural quotations, and + to satisfy himself of their accuracy, as well as that he might fall upon + some blessed text, capable of enlarging his privileges. There was in his + countenance a serene happiness, a sweet benignity, a radiance of divine + triumph, partly arising from the consciousness of his own inward state, + and partly from the glorious development of scriptural truth which would + soon be witnessed, to the utter discomfiture of Popery and the Man of Sin. + For some time before the business of the day commenced, each party was + busily engaged in private conferences; in marking passages for reference, + arranging notes, and fixing piles of books in the most convenient + position. Mr. Lucre was in full pomp, exceedingly busy, directing, + assisting, and tending their wants, with a proud courtesy, and a suavity + of manner, which no man could better assume. The deportment and manners of + the Roman Catholic clergy were strongly marked, and exceedingly well + defined; especially in determination of character and vigor of expression. + In a word, they were firm, resolute, and energetic. Among the latter, the + busiest by far, and the most zealous was Father M'Cabe, who assumed among + his own party much the same position that Mr. Lucre did among his. He was, + no doubt of it, in great glee, and searched out for Mr. Lucre's eye, in + order to have a friendly glance with him, before the play commenced. Lucre + perceived this, and avoided him as much as he could; but, in fact, the + thing was impossible. At length he caught the haughty parson's eye, and + exclaimed with a comical grin, which was irresistible— + </p> + <p> + “I am glad to see you here, Mr. Lucre; who knows, but we may make a + Christian of you yet. You know that we, as Catholics, maintain that the + power of working miracles is in the Church still; and that, certainly, + would prove it.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Lucre bowed, and smiled contemptuously, but made no reply. + </p> + <p> + When the chairman was appointed, and the regulations by which the meeting + was to be guided, read and assented to by both parties, the melee + commenced; and, indeed, we are bound to say, that a melancholy comment + upon Christian charity it was. It is not our intention to give anything + like a report of this celebrated discussion, inasmuch, as two reports, + each the genuine and authentic one, and each most egregiously + contradictory of the other, have been for several years before the public, + who, consequently, have a far better right to understand the business than + we do, who are at this distant date merely the remote historian. + </p> + <p> + We may be permitted to say, however, that the consequences of this great + discussion were such as are necessarily produced by every exhibition of + the kind. For a considerable time afterwards nothing was heard between + Catholic and Protestant but fierce polemics, and all the trite and wordy + arguments that are to be found in the mouths of ignorant and prejudiced + men on both sides. The social harmony of the district was disturbed, and + that friendly intercourse which should subsist between neighbors, was + either suspended or destroyed. A fierce spirit of exacerbation and + jealousy was created, and men looked Upon each other with bitterness and + resentment; whilst to complete the absurdity, neither party could boast of + a single convert to attest the glory of the triumph which each claimed. + </p> + <p> + At this period, the character of the Castle Cumber yeomanry corps, or as + they were called, M'Clutchy's Blood-hounds, was unquestionably in such + infamous odor with all but bigots, in consequence of their violence when + upon duty, that a few of the more mild and benevolent gentry of the + neighborhood, came to the determination of forming a corps composed of men + not remarkable for the extraordinary and exclusive loyalty which put + itself forth in so many offensive and oppressive forms. Deaker's Dashers + were by no means of such rancid bigotry as M'Clutchy's men, although they + were, heaven knows, much worse than they ought to have been. + </p> + <p> + Their most unjustifiable excesses, however, Were committed in his absence, + and without his orders; for it is due to Deaker himself to say, that, + although a staunch political Protestant and infidel, he never countenanced + violence against those who differed from him in creed. Deaker's creed was + a very peculiar one, and partook of the comic profligacy which marked his + whole life. He believed, for instance, that Protestantism was necessary, + but could not for the life of him understand the nature or tendency of + religion. As he himself said, the three great Protestant principles and + objects of his life were—to drink the “Glorious Memory “—“To + hell with the Pope”—merely because he was not a Protestant—and + to “die whistling the Boyne Water.” If he could accomplish these + successfully, he thought he had discharged his duty to his king and + country, and done all that could be fairly expected from an honest and + loyal Protestant. And, indeed, little, if anything else, in a religious + way, was expected from him, or from any other person, at the period of + which we write. + </p> + <p> + Be this, however, as it may, the formation of a new corps of cavalry was + determined on, and by unanimous consent, the conduct of the matter in all + its departments was entrusted to Mr. Hartley, the gentleman already + mentioned, as selected to contest the county against Lord Cumber or his + brother, for it had not yet been decided on between them, as to which of + them should stand. Lord Cumber expected an Earldom for his virtues, with a + seat in the house of Lords, and should these honors reach him in time, + then his brother, the Hon. Richard Topertoe, should be put in nomination. + In point of fact, matters between the two parties were fast drawing to a + crisis, and it was also in some degree to balance interests with Lord + Cumber, and neutralize the influence of the Irish government, that Hartley + and his friends deemed it advisible to have a cavalry corps at their + disposal. The day of the dissolution of parliament was now known, and it + naturally became necessary that each candidate should be found at his + post. + </p> + <p> + It was at this very period that a circumstance occurred, which, although + of apparently small importance, was nevertheless productive of an incident + that will form the catastrophe of our chronicles. Our readers cannot + forget the warm language which passed between the man Sharpe and our + exquisite friend, Philip M'Clutchy, on their way from Deaker's. Now, it is + due to this man to say, that, on looking back at the outrage which + occurred in O'Regan's cottage, and reflecting upon the melancholy + consequences it produced—not forgetting the heart-rending insanity + of O'Regan's wife—he felt deep regret, amounting almost to remorse, + for the part which he bore in it. Independently of this, however, the + conduct of Phil and his father, in their military capacity over the corps, + was made up of such tyrranical insolence at one time, and of such + contemptible meanness at another, that the men began to feel disgusted + with such sickening alternations of swaggering authority, and base, + calculating policy. Many of them, consequently, were heartily tired of + their officers, and had already begun to think of withdrawing altogether + from the corps, unless there were some change for the better made in it. + Now, at this precise state of feeling, with regard to both circumstances, + had Sharpe arrived, when he met his lieutenant on the day when that + gallant gentleman signalized himself by horsewhipping his grandmother. + Phil's threat had determined him to return to the Dashers, but, on hearing + a day or two afterwards, that Hartley was about to raise a new corps, + composed of well-conducted and orderly men, he resolved not only to offer + himself to that gentleman, but to induce all who were moderate among the + “hounds,” and, indeed, they were not many, to accompany him. This alarmed + M'Clutchy very much, because on Lord Cumber's arrival to canvass the + county, it would look as if his Lordship's interests had been neglected; + and he feared, too, that the withdrawing of the men from his corps might + lead to investigations which were strongly to be deprecated. After a day + or two's inquiries, therefore, and finding that from eighteen to twenty of + his youngest and most respectable yeomanry had not only returned him their + arms and appointments, but actually held themselves ready to be enrolled + in the Annagh Corps—for so Hartley's was termed—he sat down + and wrote the following letter to Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “Constitution Cottage, June— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: + </p> + <p> + “Circumstances affecting your Lordship's personal and political interests + have recently occurred here, and are even now occurring, which render it + my painful duty to communicate with you on the subject without loss of + time. I am sorry to say that the conduct of Mr. Hartley, your well known + opponent for the county, is not that which becomes a high-minded man. The + Cavalry Corps of which your Lordship is Colonel, and which, by the way, + has rendered good service in the firm discharge of their duty, has been + very much damaged by the extraordinary conduct which that gentleman is + pursuing. The fact is, that he has taken it into his head, aided and + assisted of course by his friends and political supporters, to raise a + corps of Yeomanry Cavalry as it were, in opposition to ours; and this, no + doubt, he has a right to do; although I am quite certain, at the same + time, that it is done with a view to secure either the support, or at + least the neutrality of government; which neutrality would, as your + Lordship knows, be a heavy blow to us. However, as I said, he has as good + a right as we have to raise his corps; but I do not think he is justified + in writing private circulars, or in tampering with the men of our corps, + many of whom he has already seduced from their duty, and lured over with + honeyed words and large promises to the body he is raising. The fact is, + my Lord, if our men were not so devotedly attached to my son and myself as + they are, Hartley's unjustifiable interference would leave the corps a + mere skeleton. As it is, he has taken eighteen of our very best men from + us; by best, I allude only to youth and physical energy, for I need + scarcely say, that all the staunch and loyal fellows remain with us. I am + sorry to add that Mr. Hickman, as I predicted he would, is vigorously + supporting your opponent; and there is a scoundrel here who is often + closeted with him—a rascally painter named Easel, <i>quem ego</i>—you + see I have a little of my Latin still, my Lord. The fellow—this wild + goose, Easel, I mean—says he has come to the neighborhood to take + sketches; but if I don't mistake much I shall ere long put him in a + condition to sketch the Bay of Sidney. I have already reported him to + government, and, indeed, I have every reason to suppose he is a Popish + Agent, sent here to sow the seeds of treason and disaffection among the + people. Nothing else can account for the dreadful progress which + Whiteboyism has made upon your Lordship's property, where it is much more + outrageous and turbulent than in any other district that I am acquainted + with. I have also to acquaint you, my Lord, that even if I were disposed + to keep M'Loughlin and Harman on the property—that is, granting that + I were sufficiently treacherous to your interest to do so, it is now out + of my power. Their own dishonesty has at length fallen upon their heads. + They are bankrupts, and not now in a condition to pay a renewal fine for + their leases; but I am happy to inform your Lordship, that my son Phil, + and Mr. M'Slime, have each offered five hundred pounds for their + respective holdings—a tender which I might in vain expect from any + other quarter and which I cannot conscientiously refuse. + </p> + <p> + “Harman was acquitted for the murder of Harpur—in consequence, it is + thought, of a treacherous scoundrel, named Sharpe, who was once one of our + corps, having taken a bribe to give evidence in his favor. This same + Sharpe is to be a sergeant in Hartley's corps; and, when I say that, + Hartley and Harman are and have been on very intimate terms, I think it + shows how the wind blows between them, at all events. I have been + receiving rent yesterday and to-day, and cannot but regret the desperate + state to which things have been brought. There is no gettin' in money, and + the only consolation I feel is, that I have honestly and conscientiously + discharged my duty. I have cleared a great number of our enemies from the + property, but, unfortunately, such is the state of things here, that there + is the greater number of the holdings still unoccupied, other tenants that + we could depend on being afraid to enter upon them, in consequence of the + spirit of intimidation that is abroad. This M'Loughlin is certainly a most + consummate swindler: he was unable to pay his rent, and I sent in an + execution yesterday; but, as every one knows, fourteen days must elapse + before the public auction of property takes place. Judge of my surprise + then, when, short as was the time, an affidavit has been made before me, + that he and his family have come to the determination of emigrating to + America, and, I suppose, by the aid of a midnight mob to take away all + that is valuable of their property by force. I consequently must remove it + at once, as the law, under such circumstances, empowers me to do—for + I cannot sit by and suffer your lordship' to be robbed, in addition to + being both misrepresented and maligned by these men and their families. + Granting the full force, however, of this unpleasant intelligence, still I + do not think it necessary that you should at present leave the circles of + polished and fashionable life in which you move, to bury yourself here + among a set of malignant barbarians, who would scruple very little to slit + your lordship's weasand, or to shoot you from behind a hedge. + </p> + <p> + “I am in correspondence with Counsellor Browbeater, at the Castle, who, in + addition to the glorious privilege of being, as he deserves to be, free of + the Back Trot there, is besides a creature after my own heart. We are both + engaged in attempting to bring the Spy System to that state of perfection + which we trust may place it on a level with that fine old institution, so + unjustly abused, called the Inquisition. Browbeater is, indeed, an + exceedingly useful man to the present government, and does all that in him + lies, I mean out of his own beat, to prevent them from running into + financial extravagance. For instance, it was only the other day that he + prevented a literary man with a large family from getting a pension from + the Premier, who, between you and me, my lord, is no great shake; and this + was done in a manner that entitles him to a very lasting remembrance + indeed. The principle upon which he executed this interesting and + beautiful piece of treachery—for treachery of this kind, my lord, is + in the catalogue of public virtues—was well worthy of imitation by + every man emulous of office; it was that of professing to be a friend to + the literary man, whilst he acted the spy upon his private life, and + misrepresented him to the Minister. Oh, you do not know, my lord, how the + heart of such a man as I am, warms to the author of this manly act of + private treachery and public virtue, and I cannot help agreeing with my + friend M'Slime, who, when he heard it, exclaimed with tears of admiration + in his eyes, 'it is beautiful—verily the virtuous iniquity of it + refreshes me! May that mild, meek, and most gentlemanly Christian, Mr. + Browbeater, be rewarded for it! And may the day never come when he shall + require to tread in the footsteps of the devil!' Indeed, my lord, I cannot + help crying amen to this, and adding, that the remembrance of his virtues + may descend and reflect honor on his posterity, as, I have no doubt, they + will do. How few like him could transfuse the spirit of the Tipperary + assassin into the moral principles of the Castle, for useful purpose? I + beg to inclose, your lordship, Mr. Hartley's circular, which, I think, + contains an indirect reflection on certain existing bodies of a similar + nature, and is therefore, in my opinion, very offensive to us; I also + enclose you others which he has written to several of your tenants, who + are already members of your own corps, + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, &c, &c, “Val M'Clutchy.” + </p> + <p> + The following is the circular alluded to above— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: As a proposal to raise an additional yeomanry corps of <i>respectable</i> + cavalry in Castle Cumber and its vicinity is about to be submitted to the + Lord Lieutenant, in order to receive his approbation, your presence is + requested at Sam Company's Castle Cumber Arms, at twelve o'clock on Friday + next, when it is proposed to name officers, and adopt such further + measures as may appear most conducive to the embodiment of the corps with + expedition and effect. + </p> + <p> + “I am, sir, “Your humble servant, “Henry Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + To his letter Val received the following reply— + </p> + <p> + “Belgrave Square. + </p> + <p> + “Dear Sir: I received your letter, and perfectly agree with you as to the + offensive nature of Mr. Hartley's circular, many of which I have had in my + possession for some time past. With respect to him, I have only to say, + that he and I have agreed to arrange that matter between us, as soon as I + reach Castle Cumber. I am sorry that any of my tenants should deserve the + character which M'Loughlin and his partner have received at your hand; I + dare say, however, that if they did not deserve it they would not get it. + The arrangements for their removal, of course I leave as I hitherto have + left everything within the sphere of your duty, to your own sense of + honesty and justice. <i>Do not, however, take harsh or sudden steps</i>. + In the meantime lose not a moment in remitting the needful. + </p> + <p> + “Yours, &c, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + It is not at all likely that Lord Cumber would ever have noticed Hartley's + circular, or troubled himself about the formation of the new corps in the + slightest degree were it not for the malignity of M'Clutchy, who not only + hated the whole family of the Hartleys from the same principle on which a + knave hates an honest man, but in remembrance of that gentleman's cousin + having, in his office, and in his own presence, kicked his son Phil and + pulled his nose. When enclosing the circular, therefore, to his lordship, + he underlined the word “respectable,” by which it was made to appear + deliberately offensive. Whether it was used with the design of reflecting + upon the licentious violence of the blood-hounds, we pretend not to say, + but we can safely affirm that the word in the original document was never + underlined by Hartley. Lord Cumber, like his old father, was no coward, + and the consequence was, that having once conceived the belief that the + offensive term in the circular was levelled at his own corps—although + he had never even seen it—he, on the receipt of M'Clutchy's letter, + came to the determination of writing to Hartley upon the subject. + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: I have just perused a circular written by you, calling a meeting at + the Castle Cumber Arms, with the object of forming what you are pleased to + term, a yeomanry corps of <i>respectable</i> cavalry. Now you are + perfectly at liberty to bestow whatever epithets you wish upon your new + corps, provided these epithets contain no unfair insinuation against + existing corps. I think, therefore, that whilst others have been for some + time already formed in the neighborhood, your use of the term respectable + was, to say the least of it, unhandsome. I also perceive that you have + written to some of my tenants, who are already enrolled in the Castle + Cumber corps, and am informed that several of my men have already given up + their arms and clothing, on account of an application from you to join + your corps. I presume, sir, you did not know that these persons belonged + to the Castle Cumber troops, for, however anxious in the cause you may be, + I need not point out to you a very obvious fact—to wit—that + weakening a corps already embodied only tends to defeat the purpose for + which it was designed. I take it, therefore, for granted, that no + gentleman, however great his influence, would ask any soldier to desert + his colors, and I am sure you will tell those men that they ought to + remain in the body in which they were enrolled, and in which enrollment + their names have been returned to the war office. In conclusion, I think + that the tenant who does not reserve to himself the power of serving the + landlord under whom he derives the whole of his property, is, in my + opinion, both ungrateful and unprincipled: and he who solicits him to + resign that essential reservation is, I think, extremely indelicate. + </p> + <p> + “I am, &c, Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + To this Mr. Hartley sent the following:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: I cannot at all recognize the tyrannical principle you lay down + in your definition of the relations between landlord and tenant. I deny + that a tenant necessarily owes any such slavish and serf-like duty to his + landlord as you advocate; and I am of opinion, that the landlord who + enforces, or attempts to enforce such a duty, is stretching his privileges + beyond their proper limits. I do not understand that any of your + lordship's tenantry have been solicited to join our new corps. I have + signed circular letters for my own tenantry, and if any of them have + reached yours, it has been without either my consent or knowledge. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, “My lord, &c, “Henry Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: I beg to inquire whether you apply the word tyrannical to me? + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor, &c, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: I think if you had read my last communication with due + attention, you might have perceived that I applied the term which seems to + offend you, to your principles, rather than to yourself. So long as your + lordship continues, however, to advocate such a principle, so long shall I + associate it with the epithet in question. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor, &c, “Henry Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: Your letter merely contains a distinction without a difference. So + long as I identify my principles with myself, or myself with my + principles, so long shall I look upon any offence offered to the one as + offered to the other. The principle, therefore, which you brand with the + insulting epithet tyrannical, is one which I hold, and ever shall hold; + because I believe it to be just and not tyrannical. I await your + explanation, and trust it may be satisfactory. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be, &c, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: I am not anxious to have a quarrel with you, and I believe you + will admit that the courage neither of myself nor any one of my family was + never called in question. I really regret that any serious + misunderstanding should arise between us, from this mere play upon words. + I trust, therefore, to your Lordship's good sense, and good feeling, not + to press me on this occasion. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor, &c, “Henry Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: I never doubted your courage until now. I have only to say, that I + beg an answer to my last letter. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor, &c, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord: Your Lordship will find it in my last but one. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor, &c, &c, “Henry Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: I beg to say that I shall be in Castle Cumber within a fortnight + from this date, and that you shall have early and instant notice of my + arrival. + </p> + <p> + “I remain, &c, “Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:— + </p> + <p> + “And I, my Lord, shall be ready to meet you either there or anywhere else, + </p> + <p> + “And have the honor, &c, “Henry Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, and whilst this correspondence was going forward, the + political reeling about Castle Cumber rose rapidly between the adherents + and friends of each. M'Clutchy called a meeting of Lord Cumber's friends + and his own, which was held in the public rooms of Castle Cumber. The + following is the report taken from the columns of the “True Blue: “— + </p> + <p> + “At a special meeting of the committee of the Castle Cumber cavalry, held + in that town on Monday, the 15th March, 18—, Lieutenant Philip + M'Clutchy in the chair. + </p> + <p> + “Captain Valentine M'Clutchy having communicated to certain of the Castle + Cumber corps a circular letter, as well as committee to the effect that + Henry Hartley, Esq., having directed private letters, influencing them to + withdraw therefrom, and join a troop which he is now about raising, and + that in consequence of these steps on his part, several of the Castle + Cumber troopers had deserted, and were enrolled in the new corps:— + </p> + <p> + “And Captain M'Clutchy having laid before the said Committee a copy of a + letter which he had drawn up to be sent to Henry Hartley, Esq., and the + Committee, having taken the same into their most serious consideration:— + </p> + <p> + “It was unanimously resolved—That any attempt to induce the + defection of any members enrolled in such corps, even to join another + corps, is highly injurious to the Institution at large, inasmuch, as it + holds out a pernicious example of desertion, and above all, is calculated + to excite a jealous electioneering spirit, and create enmity between the + yeomanry troops, whose utility and value to the country depend on + unanimity and mutual good will. + </p> + <p> + “Resolved—That the above resolution, together with the following + letter signed by the Chairman in the name of the meeting, be forwarded to + Henry Hartley, Esq.: + </p> + <p> + “'Sir—Having associated for the safety and quiet of this portion of + the country, aa well as for the protection of our families and properties, + we feel ourselves particularly called upon, on an occasion like the + present, to stand forward and repel the attack made upon this loyal corps, + and, indeed, on the whole body of yeomanry throughout this kingdom—in + spiriting away, by your letters and undue influence, some of our members, + and attempting to procure others to be withdrawn from a corps already + enrolled, armed, and complete. Be assured, sir, we shall be at all times + ready, and happy to afford every assistance in the formation of any new + corps in our neighborhood, provided this co-operation shall have no effect + in diminishing our own. + </p> + <p> + “'We, therefore, call upon you to reflect on the measures you have taken + and are taking, and not to persevere in the error of keeping such + deserters from our troop as have joined yours; as we shall in the case of + your persisting to do so, most certainly publish the whole course of your + proceedings in this matter for the satisfaction of our loyal brethren + throughout the kingdom, and leave them to decide between you and us. + </p> + <p> + “'Philip M'Clutchy, Chairman. “'Valentine M'Cldtchy, Captain. “'Richard + Armstrong, Second Lieutenant. “'Robebt M'bullet. “'Charles Cartridge. + “'Boniface Buckram. “'Dudley Fulton, Secretary.'” + </p> + <p> + To these documents, which were so artfully worded as to implicate Hartley + without openly committing themselves, that gentleman having already had + the understanding with Lord Cumber of which our readers are already + cognizant made the following brief reply. + </p> + <p> + “'To Richard Armstrong, Esq., second Lieutenant of the Castle Cumber + Cavalry:— + </p> + <p> + “Sir: I have received two resolutions passed at a meeting of your troop in + Castle Cumber, and regret to say, for the sake of the Yeomanry service of + the country, that I cannot send any communication to those who bear the + two first names on your committee. I trust I am a gentleman, and that I + shall not knowingly be found corresponding with any but gentlemen. I have + only now simply to say, that I repel with great coolness—for + indignation I feel none—the charges that have been brought against + me, both in the resolutions, and the letter which accompanied them. + Neither shall I take further notice of any letters or resolutions you may + send me, as I have no intention in future of corresponding with any one on + the subject, with the exception of Lord Cumber himself, with whom I have + had recent communications touching this matter. + </p> + <p> + “I am, sir, &c, “Henry Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + Our readers are, no doubt, a good deal surprised, that Phil, knowing, from + sad experience, the courage for which all the Hartley family were so + remarkable, should have ventured to undertake the post of chairman, on an + occasion where such charges were advanced against the gentleman in + question. And, indeed, so they ought to be surprised, as upon the + following morning no man living felt that sensation so deeply or painfully + as did worthy Phil himself, who experienced the tortures of the damned. + The whole secret of the matter, therefore, is, that Phil had lately taken + to drink—to drink at all hours too—morning, noon, and night. + In vain did his father remonstrate with him upon the subject; in vain did + he entreat on one occasion and command on another. Phil, who was full of + valor under certain circumstances, told his father he did not care a curse + for him, and d—d his honor if he would allow him to curb him in that + manner. The fact is, that Phil was at the present period of our tale, as + corrupt and profligate a scoundrel as ever walked the earth. His father + had no peace with him and received little else at his hands than contempt, + abuse, and threats of being horsewhipped. Perhaps if our readers can + remember the extermination scene at Drum Dhu, together with the appearance + of Kate Clank, they will be disposed to think that the son's conduct now, + was very like judicial punishment on the father for what his own had been. + Be this as it may—on the following morning after the meeting at + Castle Cumber, Phil's repentance, had it been in a good cause, ought to + have raised him to the calendar. In truth, it rose to actual remorse. + </p> + <p> + “Damn my honor, M'Clutchy”—for that was now the usual respectful + tone of his address to him—“were you not a precious old villain to + allow me to take the chair yesterday, when you knew what cursed + fire-eaters these Hartleys are?” + </p> + <p> + “That, Phil, comes of your drinking brandy so early in the day. The moment + you were moved into the chair—and, by the way, I suspect M'Bullet + had a mischievous design in it—I did everything in my power, that + man could do, to prevent you from taking' it.” + </p> + <p> + It's a d——d bounce, M'Clutchy, you did no such thing, I tell + you. D—n you altogether, I say! I would rather the devil had the + whole troop, as he will too, with Captain M'Clutchy at the head of them—” + </p> + <p> + “Don't get into insubordination, my hero,” said his father; “why do you + put me over Lord Cumber's head?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” replied the son, “when sending you-to Headquarters, you mean; yes, + my old knave, and when he and you and the whole kit of you get there, + you'll know then what permanent duty means. That scoundrel Hartley will be + sending a challenge to me.” + </p> + <p> + “Make your mind easy, Phil,” replied his virtuous father, “there is not + the slightest danger of that; here's his reply to Armstrong, which Dick + himself handed me in Castle Cumber, a while ago. Read that and let it + console you.” + </p> + <p> + Phil accordingly read Hartley's letter, in which both he and his father + were mentioned with such marked respect; and never did reprieve come to a + shivering, inanimate, and hopeless felon with the hangman's noose neatly + settled under his left ear, with a greater sense of relief than did this + communication to him. In fact, he had reached that meanness and utter + degradation of soul which absolutely feels comfort, and is glad to take + refuge, in the very contempt of an enemy. + </p> + <p> + “I hope you're satisfied,” said his father. + </p> + <p> + “All right, my old fellow—all right, Captain M'Clutchy, Magistrate + and Grand-juror. Damn my honor, but you're a fine old cock, Val—and + now I have spirits to take a glass of brandy, which I hadn't this whole + morning before.” + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said the father, “how do you think I can ever get you appointed to + the magistracy if you take to drink?” + </p> + <p> + “Drink! why, blood, my old boy, is it this to me! Do you mean to tell me + that there are no drunken magistrates on the bench? Drink! why, man, let + me drink, swear, and play the devil among the ladies, surely you know that + my thorough Protestantism and loyalty will make up for, and redeem all. + Hey, then, for the glass of brandy, in which I'll drink your health, and + hang me, I'll not abuse you again—unless when you deserve it, ha, + ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “At all events,” said Val, “keep yourself steady for this day; this is the + day, Phil, on which I will glut my long cherished vengeance against Brian + M'Loughlin—against him and his. I shall leave them this night + without a roof over their heads, as I said I would, and, Phil, when you + are in possession of his property and farm, and he and his outcasts, he + will then understand what I meant, when I told him with a boiling heart in + Castle Cumber Fair, that his farm and mine lay snugly together.” + </p> + <p> + “But what will you do with the sick woman, I mean his wife?” asked Phil, + putting a glass of brandy to his lips, and winking at his father; “what + will you do with the sick woman, I say?” + </p> + <p> + Val's face became so frightfully ghastly, and presented so startling a + contrast between his complexion and black bushy brows, that even Phil + himself got for a moment alarmed, and said:— + </p> + <p> + “My God, father, what is the matter?” + </p> + <p> + Val literally gasped, as if seeking for breath, and then putting his hand + upon his heart, he said— + </p> + <p> + “Phil, I am sick here—” + </p> + <p> + “I see you are,”' said Phil, “but what is the matter, I say again? why are + you sick?” + </p> + <p> + “Vengeance, Phil; I am sick with vengeance! The moment is now near, and at + last I have it within my clutch;” and here he extended his hand, and + literally made a clutch at some imaginary object in the air. + </p> + <p> + “Upon my honor,” said Philip, “I envy you; you are a fine, consistent old + villain.” + </p> + <p> + “The sick woman, Phil! By the great heavens, and by all that they contain—if + they do contain anything—I swear, that if every individual of them, + men and women, were at the last gasp, and within one single moment of + death—ha! hold,” said he, checking himself, “that would never do. + Death! why death would end all their sufferings.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, not all, I hope,” said Phil, winking again. + </p> + <p> + “No matter,” resumed Val, “their sufferings in this life it would end, and + so I should no longer be either eye-witness or ear-witness of their + destitution and miseries. I would see them, Phil, without house or home—without + a friend on earth—without raiment, without food—ragged, + starved—starved out of their very virtues—despised, spat upon, + and trampled on by all! To these, Phil, I thought to have added shame—shame; + but we failed—we have failed.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” replied Phil, “I give you my word, we did not.” + </p> + <p> + “We did, sir,” said the father; “Harman and she are now reconciled, and + this is enough for the people, who loved her. Yes, by heavens, we have + failed.” Val sat, or almost dropped on a chair as he spoke, for he had + been pacing through the parlor until now; and putting his two hands over + his face, he sobbed out—groaned even with agony—until the + tears literally gushed in torrents through his fingers. “I thought to have + added shame to all I shall make them suffer,” he exclaimed; “but in that I + am frustrated.” He here naturally clenched his hands and gnashed his + teeth, like a man in the last stage of madness. + </p> + <p> + On removing his hands, too, his face, now terribly distorted out of its + lineaments by the convulsive workings of this tremendous passion, + presented an appearance which one might rather suppose to have been shaped + in hell, so unnaturally savage and diabolical were all its outlines. + </p> + <p> + Phil, who had sat down at the same time, with his face to the back of the + chair, on which his two hands were placed, supporting his chin, kept his + beautiful eyes, seated as he was in that graceful attitude, fixed upon his + father with a good deal of surprise. Indeed it would be a difficult thing, + considering their character and situation, to find two countenances more + beautifully expressive of their respective dispositions. If one could + conceive the existence of any such thing as a moral looking-glass placed + between them, it might naturally be supposed that Val, in looking at Phil, + saw himself; and that Phil in his virtuous father's face also saw his own. + The son's face and character, however, had considerably the advantage over + his father's. Val's presented merely what you felt you must hate, even to + abhorrence; but the son's, that which you felt to be despicable besides, + and yet more detestable still. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Phil, “all I can say is, that upon my honor, my worthy + father, I don't think you shine at the pathetic. Damn it, be a man, and + don't snivel in that manner, just like a furious drunken woman, when she + can't get at another drunken woman who is her enemy. Surely if we failed, + it wasn't our faults; but I think I can console you so far as to say we + did not fail. It's not such an easy thing to suppress scandal, especially + if it happens to be a lie, as it is in the present case.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said the father with bitterness, “it was all your fault, you + ill-looking Bubber-lien. (*An ignorant, awkward booby.) At your age, your + grandfather would not have had to complain of want of success.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, M'Clutchy—I'll not bear this—it's cursed ungenerous in + you, when you know devilish well how successful I have been on the + property.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Val, “and what was the cause of that? Was it not merely among + those who were under our thumb—the poor and the struggling, who fell + in consequence of your threats, and therefore through fear of us only; but + when higher game and vengeful purposes were in view, see what a miserable + hand you made of it. I tell you, Phil, if I were to live through a whole + eternity, I could never forgive M'Loughlin the triumph that his eye had + over me in Castle Cumber Fair. I felt that he looked through me—that + he saw as clearly into my very heart, as you would of a summer day into a + glass beehive. My eye quailed before him—my brow fell; but then—well—no + matter; I have him now—ho, ho, I have him now!” + </p> + <p> + “I wonder the cars and carts are not coming before now,” observed Phil, + “to take away the furniture, and other valuables.” + </p> + <p> + “I am surprised myself,” replied Val; “they ought certainly to have been + here before now. Darby got clear instructions to summon them.” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps they won't come,” observed the other, “until—Gad, there's + his rascally knock, at all events. Perhaps he has sent them up.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Val; “I gave him positive instructions to order them here in + the first instance.” + </p> + <p> + Darby now entered. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Darby,” said Val, who, on account of certain misgivings, treated + the embryo gaoler with more civility than usual; “what news? How many cars + and carts have von got?” + </p> + <p> + Darby sat down and compressed his lips, blew out his cheeks, and after + looking about the apartment for a considerable time, let out his breath + gradually until the puff died away. + </p> + <p> + “What's the matter with you, Darby?” again inquired Val. + </p> + <p> + Darby went over to him, and looking seriously into his face—then + suddenly laying down his hat—said, as he almost wrung his hands— + </p> + <p> + “There's a Spy, sir, on the Estate; a Popish Spy, as sure as Idolathry is + rank in this benighted land.” + </p> + <p> + “A Spy!” exclaimed Phil, “we know there is.” + </p> + <p> + “Be quiet, Phil—who is he, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, a fellow—of the name of Weasand—may Satan open a + gusset in his own for him this day! Sure, one Counsellor Browbeater, at + the Castle, sir—they say he's the Lord o' the Black Trot—Lord + save us— whatever that is—” + </p> + <p> + “The Back Trot, Darby—go on.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir, the Back Trot; but does that mean that he trots backwards, + sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, Darby, he'll trot anyway that will serve his own purposes—go + on, I tell you.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir, sure some one has wrote to this Counsellor Browbeater about + him, and what do you think, but Counsellor Browbeater has wrote to Mr. + Lucre, and Mr. Lucre spoke to me, so that it's all the same as if the + Castle had wrote to myself—-and axed me if I knewn anything about + him.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, what did you say?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I said I did not, and neither did I then; but may I never die in + sin, but I think I have a clue to him now.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, and how is that?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, as I was ordhering the tenantry in wid the cars and carts to + remove M'Loughlin's furniture, I seen this Weasand along wid Father Roche, + and there they were—the two o' them—goin' from house to house; + whatever they said to the people I'm sure I don't know, but, anyhow, hell + resave—hem.” + </p> + <p> + “Take care, Darby,” said Val, “no swearing—I fear you're but a bad + convert.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, blood alive, sir,” replied Darby, “sure turnin' Protestant, I hope, + isn't to prevent me from swearin'—don't themselves swear through + thick and thin? and, verily, some of the Parsons too, are as handy at it, + as if they had sarved an apprenticeship to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but about this fellow, the Spy?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, when I ordhered the cars the people laughed at me, and said + they had betther autority for keepin' them, than you had for sendin' for + them; and when I axed them who it was, they laughed till you'd think + they'd split. I know very well it's a <i>Risin</i> that's to be; and our + throats will be cut by this blackguard spy, Weasand.” + </p> + <p> + “And so you have got no cars,” said Val. + </p> + <p> + “I got one,” he replied, “and meetin' Lanty Gorman goin' home wid Square + Deaker's ass—King James—or Sheemus a Cocka, as he calls him—that + is, 'Jemmy the Cock,' in regard of the great courage he showed at the + Boyne—I made him promise to bring him up. Lanty, sir, says the + Square's a'most gone.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, is he worse?” asked Val, very coolly. + </p> + <p> + “Begad, sir, sure he thinks it's the twelfth o' July; and he was always + accustomed to get a keg of the Boyne Wather, whenever that day came round, + to drink the loyal toasts in; and nothing would satisfy him but that Lanty + would put the cart on Sheemus a Cocka, and bring him a keg of it all the + way from the Boyne. Lanty to plaise him, sets off wid himself to St. + Patrick's Well, where they make the Stations, and filled his keg there; + and the Square, I suppose, is this moment drinkin', if he's able to drink, + the Glorious Memory in blessed wather, may God forgive him, or blessed + punch, for it's well known that the wather of St. Patrick's Well is able + to consecrate the whiskey any day, glory be to God!” + </p> + <p> + “Damn my honor, Darby,” said Phil, “but that's queer talk from a + Protestant, if you are one.” + </p> + <p> + “Och, sure aren't we all Protestant together, now?” replied Darby; “and + sure, knowing that, where's the use of carryin' the matter too far? Sure, + blood alive, you wouldn't have me betther than yourselves? I hope I know + my station, gintlemen.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Darby,” said Phil, “you're a neat boy, I think.” + </p> + <p> + “What's to be done?” asked Val; “their refusal to send their horses and + cars must be owing to the influence of this priest Roche.” + </p> + <p> + “Of course it is,” replied the son; “I wish to God I had the hanging of + him; but why did you send to those blasted papists at all? sure the + blood-hounds were your men.” + </p> + <p> + “Why did I, Phil? ah, my good shallow Son—ha, why did I?” he spoke + in a low condensed whisper, “why, to sharpen my vengeance. It was my + design to have made one papist aid in the oppression of another. Go off, + Darby, to Castle Cumber, and let twelve or fourteen of my own corps come + to M'Loughlin's with their horses and carts immediately;—call also + to M'Slime's, and desire him to meet me there forthwith; and bid Hanlon + and the other two fellows to wait outside until they shall be wanted. The + sheriff will be at M'Loughlin's about two o'clock.” + </p> + <p> + After Darby had gone, Val paused for a while, then rose, and walked about, + apparently musing and reflecting, with something of uneasiness and + perplexity in his looks; whilst Phil unfolded the True Blue, and began to + peruse its brilliant pages with his usual nonchalance. + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said the father, “there is one thing I regret, and it is that I + promised Solomon Harman's farm. We should, or rather you should, you know, + have secured both—for I need not tell you that two good things are + better than one, and as my friend Lucre knows—who, by the way, is + about to be made a bishop of, now that he of ——— ——— + has gone to his account. Solomon, however, having been aware of the fines + they offered, <i>ex officio</i>, as the Law Agent, I thought the safest + thing was to let them go snacks. If, however, we could so manage, before + Lord Cumber's arrival, as to get him discarded, we might contrive to + secure the other farm also. The affair of the young woman, on which I + rested with a good deal of confidence, would, I am inclined to think, on + second consideration, rather raise him in that profligate Lord's esteem + than otherwise.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, did you not hear that he was publicly expelled from the + congregation?” said Phil; “and as to the history of Susanna, that's all + over the parish these two days. Her father brought the matter before the + congregation, and so far Solomon's hypocrisy is exposed.” + </p> + <p> + “In that case, then,” said Val, “something may be done yet. We must only + now endeavor to impress Lord Cumber with a strong sense of what is due to + public opinion, which would be outraged by having such a Law Agent on his + estate. Come, leave the matter to me, and we shall turn Solomon's flank + yet; I know he hates me, because I curtailed his pickings, by adopting the + system of not giving leases, unless to those on whom we can depend. + Besides, the little scoundrel has no political opinions whatsoever, + although an Orangeman.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, my old cock, no hypocrisy; what political opinions have you got?” + </p> + <p> + “Very strong ones, Phil.” + </p> + <p> + “What are they?—you hate the papists, I suppose?” + </p> + <p> + “Cursed stuff, Phil; the papists are as good as other people; but still I + hate them, Phil, because it's my interest to do so. A man that's not an + anti-papist now is nothing, and has no chance. No, Phil, I am not without + a political opinion, notwithstanding, and a strong one too.” + </p> + <p> + “What is it, then?” + </p> + <p> + “Here,” said he, laying his hand upon his breast, “here is my political + opinion. Valentine M'Glutchy, Phil, is my political creed, and my + religious one too.” + </p> + <p> + “After all,” replied Phil, “you are a chip of the old block.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, Phil; but I don't parade it to the world as he does—and + there's the difference.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, thank heaven,” said the son, “I have no brains for any creed; but I + know I hate Popery and the Papists as I do the devil.” + </p> + <p> + “And that, Phil, is the enlightened sentiment upon which all bigotry and + mutual hatred between creeds is based. But you, Phil, could never be so + vexatious as a foe to Popery as I could—your very passions and + prejudices would occasionally obstruct you even in persecution—but I—I + can do it coolly, clearly, and upon purely philosophical principles. I + hate M'Loughlin upon personal principles—I hate the man, not his + religion; and here there must be passion: but in matters of religion, + Phil, there is nothing so powerful—so destructive—so lasting—so + sharp in persecution—and so successful, as a passionless resentment. + That, Phil, is the abiding and imperishable resentment of churches and + creeds, which has deluged the world with human blood.” + </p> + <p> + “Curse your philosophy, I don't understand it; when I hate, I hate—and + I'm sure I hate Popery, and that's enough.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIX.—Solomon Suffers a Little Retribution + </h2> + <p> + —Requests Widow Lenehan to “Wrestle” for Him—Deaker's + Death-Bed—Dies Loyally Whistling the Boyne Water. + </p> + <p> + The conversation had proceeded thus far, when Lanty Gorman, already spoken + of, knocked at the door, and asked to see Mr. M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + Val went to the hall. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Lanty, what's the matter?—how is your master?” + </p> + <p> + “Plaise your honor,” said the lad, “I think you ought to go to him; he's + at the last gasp, sir; if you'd see the way his face is, and his eyes.” + </p> + <p> + “He is worse, then?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't think it's so much sickness, sir, as—” + </p> + <p> + “As what?” + </p> + <p> + “As the liquor, your honor; he's at the Glorious Memory, sir, till he's + nearly off; he thinks it's the Boyne wather he's drinkin' it in, sir, + otherwise I don't b'lieve he'd take so much of it. <i>Sheemus a Cocka</i> + and the cart's in the yard, sir; Darby said you wanted them.” + </p> + <p> + “Take <i>Sheemus a Cocka</i> to h—l, sir,” said Phil, “we don't want + him—he's a kind of papist; take him away to h—l out of this.” + </p> + <p> + “I can only take him to the gates, sir; unfortunately there's no entrance + there for a papish, Captain Phil; if we could only get him to turn + Protestant, sir, it's himself 'ud get the warm welcome. But,” he + proceeded, addressing Val, “wouldn't it be a charity, sir, to go over and + see the state he's in; Tom Corbet, the butler, says its a burnin' sin and + shame to look at him, widout any one near him but that vagabone, Miss + Fuzzle, an' he dyin', like a dog.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall be there immediately,” replied Val. “Bring the ass home again; we + do not want him. Now, Phil,” he proceeded, “I shall ride over, to see how + matters are going on; and in the meantime I think it would be well to get + Hanlon, and those other two who were out with Darby for his protection—for + the fellow pretends to be afraid, and carries arms—it would be as + well, I say, to get two or three additional affidavits against this Easel + prepared by my return; for we must make our case as firm as we can. + Whether the fellow's a Popish Agent, or whether he's not, doesn't matter a + curse. I don't think he is myself; but at all events it will be a strong + proof in the eye of the government, that we are at least vigilant, active, + and useful men. I will entrust his arrest to you, and you shall have the + full credit of it at headquarters. I hope soon to have you on the Bench. + Only I do beg, that for your own sake and mine, you will keep from the + brandy. I have remitted the rents to Lord Cumber, who will soon make them + fly.” + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes afterwards he proceeded at full speed to the edifying + death-bed of his father. + </p> + <p> + Whilst Phil is preparing the supplementary affidavits for Easel's arrest, + which he stretched out considerably by interpolations drawn from his own + imagination, we shall follow Darby to M'Slime's, observing, <i>en passant</i>, + that the aforesaid Darby, as he went, might have been perceived to grin + and chuckle, and sometimes give a short, low, abrupt cackle, of a nature + peculiarly gratifying to himself. + </p> + <p> + “Devil a <i>smite</i> ever either of them left on any bone thrown me,” he + exclaimed. “Instead o' that they begridged me the very fees that I was + entitled to, bad luck to them! Well no matther!” and here he shrugged and + chuckled again, and so continued to do as he went along. + </p> + <p> + As for Solomon, he felt full occasion that morning for all his privileges + and spiritual sustainment. A few days previous, he had been brought before + his brother Elders by Susanna's father, whose statement was unfortunately + too plain to admit of any doubt or misapprehension on the subject. These + respectable men—for with but another exception they were so—discharged + their duty as became them. The process of expulsion was gone into, but + rather with a spirit of sorrow for the failings of an erring and sinful + fellow-creature, than with any of the dogmatic and fiery indignation, + which, under the plea of charity for his soul, is too often poured upon + the head of a backslider. The fact now was that the consequences of his + crime were about to come home to him, in a manner which required the + exhibition of all the moral courage he possessed. It is unnecessary to + inform our readers, that he had assumed the cloak of hypocrisy for the + purpose of merely advancing his own interests among a certain section of + the religious world. No sooner, however, did the history of his expulsion + and its cause become general, than all those religious clients, who felt + themselves scandalized by his conduct, immediately withdrew their business + out of his hands, and transferred it to those of others; and not only + persons of a decidedly religious character, but also almost every one who + detested hypocrisy, and loved to see it exposed and punished. In truth, + short as the period was since that exposure, Solomon was both surprised + and mortified at the number of clients and friends who deserted him. + </p> + <p> + He was meditating over these things then that morning, when Widow Lenehan, + of whom, mention has already been made, a religious woman, and + notwithstanding her name, a member of the congregation to which he + belonged, entered his office, accompanied by her brother. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Mrs. Lenehan, how do you do? and my friend Palmer, I hope I see you + well!” + </p> + <p> + “Pretty well, Mr. M'Slime; as well as these hard times will let us.” + </p> + <p> + “Hard times! true, my friend, hard times they are indeed; very hard—yea, + even as a crushing rock to those who are severely tried. But affliction is + good, my friends, and if it be for our soul's health, then, indeed, it is + good to be afflicted.” + </p> + <p> + To this, neither Mrs. Lenehan nor her brother made any reply; and Solomon + was left to console himself with a holy groan or two—given in that + peculiar style which hypocrisy only can accomplish, but which is + altogether out of the sphere, and beyond the capacity of true repentance. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. M'Slime,” said Palmer, “my sister has at present”—which was the + fact—although Solomon did not believe it—“a more advantageous + opportunity of investing those eight hundred pounds which the poor woman + has scraped together, and she wishes to draw them out of the funds without + any delay; she wishes to sell out.” + </p> + <p> + “Of course,” said Solomon; “and, indeed, Mrs. Lenehan, I am delighted to + hear it. How are you about to have the money invested, ma'am? Only give me + the names of the parties, with the nature of the securities, and I shall + have the whole matter safely managed with as little delay as may be.” + </p> + <p> + “She wishes first, Mr. M'Slime, to get the money into her own hands,” said + Palmer, “and, I believe, I may as well state that, as a conscientious + Christian woman, she does not feel justified in availing herself any + longer of your professional services, Mr. M'Slime.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed,” observed the widow, “I don't see how I could, Mr. M'Slime; I + trust I am a Christian woman, as he says, and for a Christian woman to + continue you, as her attorney, would be, I fear, to encourage hypocrisy + and sin; and I feel that it would not be permitted to me to do so, unless + I abuse my privileges.” + </p> + <p> + “Heigho,” thought Solomon, “here am I punished, as it were, in my own + exact phraseology; verily, the measure is returning unto me.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Mrs. Lenehan, this is part of my individual dispensation—may + it be precious to me! There is a mystery in many things, and there is a + mystery in this; a mystery which, I trust, shall yet be cleared up, even + so as that I shall indulge in much rejoicing when I look back upon it. Mr. + Palmer, you, I trust, are a Christian man, and you, Mrs. Lenehan, a + Christian woman—Now, let me ask, did you ever hear that it is + possible for an innocent man to be condemned as though he were guilty? Oh! + I could argue strongly on this—but that I know now is not the hour.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but to business, Mr. M'Slime; my sister wants the money into her + own hands.” + </p> + <p> + “And in her own hands it shall be placed, Mr. Palmer; but this, you are + aware, cannot be done for a few days—until, at all events, I go to + Dublin.” + </p> + <p> + “When will that be?” asked Palmer. “About this day week (D.V.). Term + commences on to-morrow week, but I am generally in town a day or two + before. + </p> + <p> + “Very well, then, on this day week we shall be in town, too, and will call + at your office about ten o'clock. + </p> + <p> + “The exact hour, my dear friend—and pray be punctual—and my + friend Palmer—my dear friend, will you confer a great, an important + favor on me? and you, Mrs. Lenehan, for you can?” + </p> + <p> + “What is it?” said Palmer. “When at family worship think of me. If I am + what the world begins to say I am, oh! do not I require, and stand in need + of your prayers, and most earnest supplications—yea, Mrs. Lenehan, + even that you should wrestle for me—that I may be restored to the + fold:—and if I am innocent—if—if—oh! why do I say + if?” said he, turning up his eyes, and clasping his hands, whilst the + tears of hypocrisy actually trickled down his cheeks, “but it is known—that + precious word innocence is known? Peace be with you both!” + </p> + <p> + Darby, on his arrival, found him engaged in writing at his desk, and on + casting his eye slightly at the paper he perceived that he was drawing out + a bill of costs. + </p> + <p> + “Darby, my friend,” said Solomon, after the first salutations were over, + “when will you enter upon the duties of your new office.” + </p> + <p> + “Plaise God, as soon as Mr. M'Darby leaves it—which will be in a few + days, I hope; and how are you, Mr. M'Slime?” + </p> + <p> + “Tried in the furnace of affliction, nine times heated, Darby.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a sad thing to be accused unjustly, Mr. M'Slime,” said Darby looking + him shrewdly in the face with one eye shut; “but then it's well that this—this—visitation + has come upon a man that has thrue religion to support him, as you have, + under it.” + </p> + <p> + “Darby, my friend, there are none of us perfect—we all have our + frailties—our precious little—ay! yes;—you know, Darby, + the just man falleth seven times a day.” + </p> + <p> + Darby started, and despite of all the influence of his new creed exclaimed—“Blessed + Saints, seven times! Arra when was this, Mr. M'Slime? Troth, I think, it + must be in the owld pagan times long ago, when the people were different + from what they are now.” + </p> + <p> + “You see, Darby, that just men, that is the Elect, have their privileges.” + </p> + <p> + “Troth, if to fall seven times a day is the privilege of a just man, I'd + never be anything else all my life,” replied Darby; “and myself wondhers + that there's e'er an unjust man alive.” + </p> + <p> + “Darby, I fear that Mr. Lucre has not improved your perceptions of + spiritual things.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, as to that, Mr. M'Slime, if you knew Mr. Lucre's piety as well as I + do—however, as you say yourself, sir, it's known, or rather it's + unknown, the piety of that gintleman.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Darby, between you and me, I am just as well satisfied that you did + not attach yourself, as I expected you would have done, to our + congregation; for, to acknowledge a truth, Darby, which I do in all + charity, I tell you, my friend, that they are awfully Pharisaical, and + wretchedly deficient in a proper sense of Christian justice; I, Darby, am + a proof of it. I mentioned to another person before, Darby, that the + Christian devotion of an act I did, would occasion considerable risk to my + own reputation, and you see it has done so. I shall bear all the blame, + Darby—all shame, Darby—all opprobium, Darby, sooner than that + precious vessel—hitherto precious, I should have said—and yet, + perhaps, precious still—” + </p> + <p> + “He is a just man, may be,” said Darby. “He is, I would trust—sooner, + I say, than that precious vessel should be broken up as unprofitable.” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose he is one of those vessels, sir,” said Darby, “that don't wish + to hould any wather, unless when it's mix—” + </p> + <p> + “He is, or rather was, a brother Elder, Darby; but then, it mattereth not; + I have covered his trangressions with my charity. I permit you to say as + much among your friends in the religious world, whenever you hear the name + of Solomon M'Slime mentioned. It is also due to myself to say as much.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm afther comin' from Mr. M'Clutchy's, sir,” said Darby, “and he desired + me to say that he hopes you'll attend at Mr. M'Loughlin's about two + o'clock, and not to fail, as its to be a busy day wid him. The sheriffs to + be there to put them out.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall not fail, Darby,” replied the attorney; “but who comes here, + riding at a rapid pace, like a messenger who bringeth good tidings?” + </p> + <p> + Darby looked out, and at once recognized one of Deaker's grooms, riding at + a smart gallop towards Solomon's house. + </p> + <p> + The latter raised the window as the man approached— + </p> + <p> + “Well, my friend, what is the matter?” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, Mr. Deaker wishes to see you above all things; he is just dying, and + swears he cannot depart till you come.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall order the car immediately,” replied Solomon. “Say I shall not + lose a moment.” + </p> + <p> + The man wheeled round his horse, and galloped off at even a greater speed + than before. + </p> + <p> + “Darby, my friend,” said he, “I shall attend at M'Loughlin's without fail. + Justice must be rendered, Darby; justice must be rendered to that wretched + man and his family.” + </p> + <p> + Darby looked him in the face with a peculiar expression— + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir,” said he; “plaise God, justice shall be rendhered as you say—no + doubt of that.” + </p> + <p> + He then left the house, and ere he had proceeded a score yards, turned and + said— + </p> + <p> + “Yes, you netarnal villain—you know the justice you and M'Clutchy + rendhered me—bad luck to you both, I pray, this day! Any how it'll + soon come back to yez.” + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes Solomon was on his way, with an anxious expectation that + he had been called upon to draw up Deaker's will. + </p> + <p> + Val, on reaching his father's, heard from Tom Corbet, with a good deal of + surprise, that Solomon had been sent for expressly. A glance, however, at + the invalid induced him to suppose that such a message could proceed from + nothing but the wild capricious impulses under which he labored. Much to + his surprise also, and indeed to his mortification, he found before him + two gentlemen, whom Deaker, who it appears had been conscious of his + approaching dissolution, had sent for, with his usual shrewdness, to guard + and preserve his loose property from his unfortunate housekeeper on the + one hand, and his virtuous son Val, on the other. These gentlemen were his + cousins, and indeed we are inclined to think that their presence at that + precise period was, considering all things, rather seasonable than + otherwise. They had not, however, arrived many minutes before Val, so that + when he came, they were still in one of the parlors, waiting for Deaker's + permission to see him. A little delay occurred; but the moment Val + entered, with his usual privilege he proceeded straight to the sick room, + whilst at the same moment a message came up to say that the other + gentlemen “might come up and be d—d.” The consequence was, that the + three entered the room nearly together. Great was their surprise, however—at + least of two of them their disgust, their abhorrence, on seeing, as they + approached his bed-room, a female—Young certainly, and handsome—wrapped + in a night-dress—her naked feet slippered, her nice flushed and her + gait tottering, escaping, as it were, out of it. + </p> + <p> + On passing them, which it was necessary she should do, she did not seem + ashamed, but turned her eyes on them with an expression of maudlin + resentment, that distorted her handsome but besotted features into + something that was calculated to shock those who looked upon her. There + she passed, a licentious homily upon an ill-spent life—upon a life + of open, steady, and undeviating profligacy; there she passed the + meretricious angel of his death-bed, actually chased by the presence of + men from the delirious depravity of his dying pollutions! + </p> + <p> + “There is no necessity, gentlemen,” said Val, “for my making an apology + for this shocking sight—you all know the life, in this respect, that + my unfortunate father led.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * This, like most other scenes in the present work, is no + fiction. +</pre> + <p> + “In any case it is unprecedented,” replied one of them; “but if he be so + near death, as we apprehend, it is utterly unaccountable—it is + awful.” They then entered. + </p> + <p> + Deaker was lying a little raised, with an Orange silk night-cap on his + head, embellished with a figure of King William on horseback. Three or + four Orange pocket-handkerchiefs, each, owing to the excellent taste of + the designer, with a similar decoration of his Majesty in the centre, lay + about the bed, and upon a little table that stood near his head. There was + no apothecary's bottles visible, for it is well known that whatever may + have been the cause of Deaker's death he died not of any malady known in + the Pharmacopeia. In truth, he died simply of an over-wrought effort at + reviving his departed energies, joined to a most loyal, but indomitable + habit of drinking the Glorious Memory in brandy. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Vulture,” said he on seeing Val, “do you smell the death-damp yet, + that you're here? Is the putrefaction of my filthy old carcase on the wind + yet? Here Lanty, you imp,” he said turning his eyes on the ripe youth as + he brought in a large jug of the “Boyne”—in other words of St. + Patrick's Well water—“I say you—you clip, do you smell the + putrefaction of my filthy old carcase yet? eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Begad, sir, it's no the pleasantest smell in the world at the present + time; and there's a pair of big, black, thievish look in' ould Ravens, + sittin' for the last two or three days upon the black beech, as if they + had a suspicion of something. Tom Corbet and I have fired above a dozen + shots at them, and blazes to the feather we can take out o' them. So far + from that, they sit there laughin' at us. Be me sowl, it's truth, + gentlemen.” + </p> + <p> + “Begone, sirra,” said Val, “how dare you use such language as this to your + master; Leave the room.” + </p> + <p> + Lanty rubbed his hair with his middle finger and went reluctantly out. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said Deaker, “I'm glad to see you bore, Dick Bredin—and you + Jack—stay here till I'm in the dirt, and you'll find I have not + forgotten either of you.—As for the Vulture there, he is very well + able to take care of himself—he is—oh, a d——d + rogue!” + </p> + <p> + Deaker's face, was such a one as, perhaps, was never witnessed on a + similar occasion, if there ever were a similar occasion. It presented the + cadaverous aspect of the grave, lit up into the repulsive and unnatural + animation that resulted from intoxication, and the feeble expiring leer of + a worse passion. There was a dead but turbid glare in his eye; half of + ice, and half of fire, as it were, which when taken in connection with his + past life, was perfectly dreadful and appalling. If it was not the ruling + passion strong in death, it was the ruling passion struggling for a + divided empire with that political Protestantism which regulated his life, + but failed to control his morals. + </p> + <p> + “Here,” said he, “mix me some brandy and water, or—stop, ring the + bell, Dick Bredin.” + </p> + <p> + Bredin rang the bell accordingly, and in a minute or so Lanty came in. + </p> + <p> + “Here, you imp, do your duty.” + </p> + <p> + “Haven't you enough, sir? more, I think, will do you harm.” + </p> + <p> + “Go to h—l, you young imp of perdition, do your duty, I say.” + </p> + <p> + Lanty here mixed him some brandy and water, and then held it to his lips. + </p> + <p> + “Here,” said he, “here is the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory! hip, + (hiccup) oh—ay—hip, hip, hurrah! Now, Lanty, you clip, that's + one part of my duty done.” + </p> + <p> + “It is, sir,” replied Lanty; “you always did your duty, Square.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, but there's more to come—lay me back now, Lanty; lay me back + till I whistle the Boyne Water.” + </p> + <p> + Lanty accordingly laid him back a little, and he immediately commenced an + attempt to whistle that celebrated air by way of consolation on his + death-bed. + </p> + <p> + “He's not always settled, gentlemen,” said Lanty, “and I see that one of + his wandering fits is comin' on him now.” + </p> + <p> + “What is the reason,” said Captain Bredin—for such was the rank of + the person he called Dick—“why is it that there is not a physician + in attendance?” + </p> + <p> + “He would not let one of the thieves near him,” replied Lanty, “for fraid + they'd kill him.” + </p> + <p> + “That is true,” observed Val; “he always entertained a strong antipathy + against them, and would consult none.” + </p> + <p> + “Did Solomon M'Slime come?” he inquired. + </p> + <p> + “Here's a foot on the stairs,” said Lanty, “maybe it's he—” and + Lanty was right, for he had scarcely spoken when the worthy attorney + entered. + </p> + <p> + “Solomon, you sleek, hypocritical rascal,” said he, “I do not forget you; + read that paper; you will find at the bottom of it these words, on one + side, 'sworn before me, this'—no matter about the day—signed + 'Randal Deaker;' and on the other, 'Susanna Bamet.' Solomon, I could not + die happily without this hit at you. Your hypocrisy is known,—ha, + ha, ha! Come, d—n me; I never lived a hypocrite, and I won't die + one. Lanty, you imp, the brandy.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll only give him a little,” said the lad, looking and nodding at them. + </p> + <p> + “Come, then, 'the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory!'—hip—ah, + lay me down—hi-p-p-p!” + </p> + <p> + He now closed his eyes for some time, and it was observed that strange and + fearful changes came over his face. Sometimes he laughed, and sometimes he + groaned, and, indeed, no words could express the indescribable horror + which fell upon those present, or, at least, upon most of them, as the + stillness of the room was from time to time broken by the word—“damnation” + pronounced in the low and hollow voice of approaching death. + </p> + <p> + Solomon, who had glanced at the affiliating affidavit made by Susanna, was + the first to break the silence. + </p> + <p> + “In truth, my friends,” said he, “I fear it is not good to be here; and + were it not that I am anxious to witness what is rarely seen, a reprobate + and blasphemous death-bed, I would depart even now.” + </p> + <p> + After some time Deaker called out—“Help me up, Lanty; here, help me + up, you whelp.” + </p> + <p> + Lanty immediately did so, and aided him to sit nearly upright in the bed. + </p> + <p> + “The tumbler, Lanty—Lanty, my lad, 'let us eat, drink, and be mer—ry, + for to-mor—row we die;' here's the glor—, pio—, and + immor—I, memo—, hi-p, hi-p-p! And now I swore th—at I wo—uld + die whistling it, and by that oath I will.” He then looked around, and + seemed to recover himself a little. “Ay,” he continued, “I'll do it, if I + don't I'll be d——d! lay me down, you imp of hell; there, that + will do.” + </p> + <p> + He then gathered his mouth and lips, as those do who whistle, and at the + moment a long rattle of death was heard in his throat, then a shrill, + feeble sound, like that of the wind through reeds, melancholy and wailing; + issued from his white and gathered lips, and then was a silence. + </p> + <p> + For some minutes it was not broken, at length M'Clutchy went over, and on + looking into his face, and feeling his pulse and heart he announced the + fact of his death. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Lanty, “he kept his word, at all events; he swore many a + fearful oath, that he would die whistling the Boyne Wather, and he did: + but, be my soul, he didn't die drinldn' it, as he thought. I must go and + let them know in the house that he's gone. + </p> + <p> + “And bring my car to the door,” said Solomon, “as quickly as you can. + Well,” he proceeded, “the man is now gone, and, indeed, my friends, I fear + that Satan is not at this moment without a companion, if he is on his way + to his own dominions.” + </p> + <p> + Deaker's features at that moment presented the most extraordinary + appearance. As he lay, there appeared evident upon them the somewhat comic + set, which was occasioned by his attempt to whistle the Boyne Water. He + had but one tooth in front, which now projected a little; and as he always + whistled with his mouth twisted somewhat to the one side it would be + difficult to witness such a striking sight. But, when to this we add the + recollection of his life and habits, and mention the fact that the very + act of whistling the Boyne Water brought forward in his face all the gross + characteristics of his licentious passions, we may fairly admit that the + face and features very faithfully represented the life and principles of + the man who owned them. + </p> + <p> + Lanty, who had gone to acquaint the servants with his death, and to get + round Solomon's car, now came in with a pale face:— + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said he, “as sure as life's in me, the two black thievish + ravens that sot on the black beech-tree these two days past, is off; hell + resave the feather o' them's there—it's truth!—The moment the + breath was out of his body they made back to where they came from; they + got what they wanted, you see and it stands to reason, or what 'ud keep + them watchin' there these three days. As for myself, be me sowl the first + thing I'll do will be to make a severe station to St. Patrick's Well to + get the grain o' the sin off o' me that has been committed in this house.” + </p> + <p> + Val, for years, knew his father's disposition too well to form any + expectations whatsoever from him, and, indeed, it is but just to say that + old Deaker took care not to allow him an opportunity of falling into a + single misconception on the subject. As a natural consequence, Val hated + him, and would have come long before to an open rupture with him, were it + not that he feared to make him his enemy. He also thought it possible that + Deaker, out of respect for his villany, might in some capricious moment + have thought of rewarding it; and so probably he might have done, were it + not for two traits in his character which his worthy father especially + detested—viz., cowardice and hypocrisy. + </p> + <p> + Val, on his return home, found fewer carts than he had calculated upon + even among his blood-hounds. Orangemen, in the social and civil duties of + life, are sterling and excellent men in general. It is only when brought + together for the discharge of political duties, by such miscreants as + M'Clutchy, or when met in their Lodges under the united influence of + liquor and mad prejudices; or when banded together in fairs and markets + under the same stimulants, and probably provoked and dared by masses of + less open and more treacherous opponents; it is only then we say that + their most licentious outrages were committed. Meet the Orangeman, + however, in his field, or in his house and he will aid and assist you in + your struggles or difficulties, as far as he can; no matter how widely you + may differ from him in creed. + </p> + <p> + The fact was that on understanding the nature of the duty Val expected + from them—and which the reader may perceive was not an official one, + most of them absolutely refused to come. M'Loughlin, they said, had given + extensive employment, and circulated large sums of money annually in the + neighborhood, and they did not see why an Absentee landlord, or his Agent, + should wish to throw so many hands out of employment, and to ruin so many + families. They wern't on duty now, which was a different thing; but they + had their own opinions on the subject—they knew Captain Phil's + conduct—and d—n them, if M'Loughlin was a Papish twenty times + over, if they'd lend a hand in any sense to carry away his furniture. It + was all well enough when they were drunk or on duty, but they weren't + drunk or on duty now. + </p> + <p> + Three or four cars and carts were all that Val found at home on his + arrival there—a circumstance which, added to his recent + disappointment touching Deaker—from whom he had, in fact, to the + last, cherished secret expectations—inflamed his resentment against + M'Loughlin almost beyond all conception. + </p> + <p> + On leaving Constitution Cottage for M'Loughlin's, he was not a little + surprised to see worthy Phil walking, backward, and forward on the lawn, + accompanied by no less a personage than our friend <i>Raymond-na-hattha</i>. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said he to Phil, looking at him and Raymond, “there's a pair of + you.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, old fellow,” said Phil with a grin, “you don't know what's + ahead—a pretty bit of goods; begad, father, Raymond's a jewel:—ah, + you don't know her, but I do—hip, hip, old cook.” + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said Val, “you have been at the brandy; I see it in your eye, and + I hear it in your speech.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Phil, “I have, and what then—that's the chat; who's + afraid, M'Clutchy?” + </p> + <p> + “Phil, Phil,” said the father, “this won't do.” + </p> + <p> + “I say it will do, and it must do,” returned the son—“but harkee, + old cock, is Deaker, the precious, d——d yet?” + </p> + <p> + “If ever man was,” replied his father—“and not a penny to either of + us, Phil; not as much as would jingle on his own lying tombstone, and a + lying one it will be no doubt. Did you get the affidavits prepared?” + </p> + <p> + “I did, but curse the rascals, I was obliged to make them drunk before + they would consent to swear them. The truth is, I put in a lot of stuff + out of my own head,” said Phil, “and they refused to swear to it until I + made them blind.” + </p> + <p> + “You must have made devilish stretches when they refused,” said the + father, “where are they now?” + </p> + <p> + “Locked up in the stable loft, fast asleep,” replied Phil, “and ready to + swear.” + </p> + <p> + “It is well,” said Val, “that we have affidavits and information enough + for his arrest, independent of theirs. Go in, Phil, and keep yourself + steady—Easel must be my own concern, I see that; he shall be + arrested this day; I have everything prepared for it.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said Phil; “with all my heart—I have better game in + view,” and he knowingly rubbed his finger along his nose as he spoke. + </p> + <p> + “If you were sober,” said Val, “I could have wished you to witness the + full glut of my vengeance upon M'Loughlin, inasmuch, my excellent son, as + it was on your account I received the insult, the injury—why, by h——n, + he trampled upon me!—that shall never be forgiven, but which will + this day, Phil, meet the vengeance that has been hoarded up here—” + and, as he spoke, he placed his hand upon his heart. “The sheriff,” he + added, “and his officers are there by this time—for I do assure you, + Phil, I will make short work of it. As for those ungrateful scoundrels + that refused to send their cars and carts, I know how to deal with them; + and yet, the rascals, as matters now stand between Hartley and us, I can't + afford to turn them out of the corps.” + </p> + <p> + “Go ahead, I say,” replied Phil; “I have better game on hands than your + confounded corps, or your confounded popish M'Loughlins.” + </p> + <p> + Raymond, who walked, <i>pari passu</i>, along with him, looked at him from + time to time and, as he did, it might be observed that his eyes flashed + actual fire—sometimes with an appearance of terrible indignation, + and sometimes with that of exultation and delight. + </p> + <p> + Val now proceeded to execute his great mission of vengeance. As he went + along—his heart literally beat with a sense of Satanic triumph and + delight; his spirit became exhilarated, and all his faculties moved in a + wild tumult of delirious enjoyment. He was at best but a slow horseman, + but on this occasion he dashed onward with an unconscious speed that was + quite unusual to him. At length he reached M'Loughlin's, whither the carts + had been sent, immediately on his return from Deaker's. All there seemed + very quiet and orderly; the usual appearance of business and bustle was + not of course visible, for, thanks to his own malignant ingenuity and + implacable resentment, there were many families in the neighborhood not + only thrown out of employment, but in a state of actual destitution. + Having knocked at the hall door, it was instantly opened by one of his own + retainers, and without either preface or apology he entered the parlor. + There was none there but M'Loughlin himself, Gordon Harvey, the excellent + fellow of whom we have already spoken, and whom M'Loughlin, in consequence + of his manly and humane character, had treated with kindness and respect—and + Solomon M'Slime who had arrived only a few minutes before him. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said M'Loughlin, “what have I done, that I am to thank you + both for your kindness in honoring a ruined man with this unusual visit.” + </p> + <p> + Val gave him a long, fixed and triumphant look,—such a look as a + savage gives his worst enemy, when he gets him beneath his knee, and + brandishes his war-knife, before plunging it in his throat. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, my good neighbor,” replied Solomon, seeing that Val did not + speak, “I believe it is a matter of conscience on the part of my friend + M'Clutchy here, who is about to exhibit towards you and your family a just + specimen of Christian retribution. In my view of the matter, however, he + is merely the instrument; for I am one, Mr. M'Loughlin, who believe, that + in whatever we do here, we are only working out purposes that are shaped + above.” + </p> + <p> + “What! when we rob the poor, oppress the distressed, strive to blacken the + character of an innocent girl, or blast the credit of an industrious man, + and bring him and his to ruin? Do you mean to say, that the scoundrel”—he + looked at Val as he uttered the last word—“the scoundrel who does + this, and ten times more than this, is working out the purposes of God? If + you do, Sir” he continued, “carry your blasphemy elsewhere, for I tell you + that you shall not utter it under this roof.” + </p> + <p> + “This roof,” said Val, “in two hours hence shall be no longer yours.” + </p> + <p> + “I thought you pledged yourself solemnly that you would not take any hasty + steps, in consequence of my embarrassments,” said M'Loughlin; “but you see + that I understand your character thoroughly. You are still the same + treacherous and cowardly scoundrel that you ever were, and that you ever + will be.” + </p> + <p> + “This roof,” replied Val, “in an hour or two shall be no longer yours. You + and yours shall be this night roofless, homeless, houseless. This, Brian + M'Loughlin, is the day of my vengeance and of my triumph. Out you go, sir, + without consideration, without pity, without mercy—aye, mercy, for + now you are at my mercy, and shall not find it.” + </p> + <p> + “But my wife is ill of fever,” said M'Loughlin, “and surely you are at all + events an Irishman, and will not drag her from her sick bed—perhaps + her bed of death?” + </p> + <p> + “That act of kindness to her would be kindness to you and your family, Mr. + M'Loughlin, and for that reason she shall go out, if she were to expire on + the moment. No; this is the day of my vengeance and my triumph. Harvey,” + he added, “tell Jack Stuart to come to me.” + </p> + <p> + Harvey went out, and in a minute or two Stuart came in; a heavy-faced, + sullen-looking villain, who strongly resembled Val himself in character, + for he was equally cowardly and ferocious. Val met him in the hall— + </p> + <p> + “Stuart,” said he, “I have sent up three or four fellows—the two + Boyds and the two Carsons—to arrest a fellow named Easel—a Spy + or something of that kind—with orders to lodge him in goal; go up + and tell them to bring him here first. I have my reasons for it; he has + taken an interest in this M'Loughlin, and I wish him to witness his + punishment.” + </p> + <p> + “Hadn't you betther put the rascal in the stocks, or give an ordher for + it, till it's your honor's convenience to see him?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, desire them to bring him here immediately—go now, and do + not lose a moment.” + </p> + <p> + On entering the parlor again, he rubbed his hands with perfect delight. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said he, “this day, M'Loughlin, I have long looked for; this day, + this day, ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “I always knew you were a bad and + black-hearted man; but that you were such a perfect devil I never knew + till now. What, to drag out my sick wife!” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Consider that her removal now will occasion her death.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “You will not do it; you could not do it. Would you kill her?” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! M'Loughlin, this is the day of my vengeance, and my + triumph. Ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Friend M'Clutchy,” said Solomon, “permit me for one moment to remonstrate—” + </p> + <p> + “Permit the devil, sir,” said Val, stamping on the floor with fury; + “remonstrate! Don't you know that I have this fellow safely in my power?” + </p> + <p> + “I do,” replied Solomon, “and my remonstrance would have been, had you + heard me, simply and humbly to suggest that you might do the thing—-this + vengeance that you speak of—in an edifying manner—or, in other + words, in a mild and Christian spirit.” + </p> + <p> + “Solomon, you are after all but a poor devil,” said Val; “a poor pitiful + scoundrel, that can't understand what full, deep-seated, and lasting + vengeance means. You are only fit to sneak, and peep, and skulk about + after a sly, prim, sweet-faced—but I am losing my breath to speak to + you. Gordon, is the inventory taken?” + </p> + <p> + “It is, sir; Montgomery has it.” + </p> + <p> + “That's well, here are the carts then—ay, and here comes the + sheriff. Now for business.” + </p> + <p> + “So, then, you will proceed, Mr. M'Clutchy?” said M'Loughlin. + </p> + <p> + “Proceed,” he replied, looking at him, as it were, with amazement; + “proceed—ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Truly that is unchristian mirth,” observed Solomon; “I must say as much—even + although your cause be a just cause, and one supported by the laws—by + our blessed laws, that protect the rights of the tenant and landlord with + equal justice and impartiality; for it is a glorious privilege to live + under a constitution that protects the tenant from the malignity and + oppression of the landlord or his agents. It is that,” said Solomon; “oh, + it is that precious thing, indeed.” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke the words there was a slight upraising of the eyes, together + with a side glance at M'Clutchy, which, though barely-perceptible, + contained as much sanctified venom as could well be expressed. He had + scarcely concluded, when the sheriff, having pulled up his gig, entered. + </p> + <p> + Val, notwithstanding his excessive thirst for vengeance, could not avoid + feeling the deepest possible mortification since his arrival at + M'Loughlin's. There was observable in this honest fellow's bearing + something that vexed his oppressor sorely, and which consisted in a kind + of easy, imperturbable serenity, that no threat could disturb or ruffle. + Nay, there appeared a kind of lurking good-humored defiance in his eye, + which, joined to the irony of his manner, aggravated the resentment of + M'Clutchy to the highest pitch. + </p> + <p> + “This is an unpleasant visit, Mr. Graham,” said M'Loughlin, when that + official entered; “but it can't be helped.” + </p> + <p> + “It is unpleasant to both of us, I assure you,” replied the sheriff; “on + my part, of course, you know it is an act of duty, and, indeed, a very + painful one, Mr. M'Loughlin.” + </p> + <p> + “I have experienced your civility, sir, before now,” returned M'Loughlin, + “thanks to my friends,” and he eyed M'Clutchy; “and I know you to be + incapable of an un-gentlemanly act. But you must feel it a distressing + thing to be made, in the discharge of that duty, the unwilling instrument + of oppression on the unfortunate.” + </p> + <p> + “It is quite true,” said the sheriff, “and the case you speak of too + frequently happens, as I have reason to know.” + </p> + <p> + “Pray, what are those carts for, Mr. M'Clutchy?” asked M'Loughlin. + </p> + <p> + “To remove your furniture, sir, and all your other movable property off + the premises. I act in this matter by the authority of the law, and Lord + Cumber's instructions.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear me,” said M'Loughlin, coolly, “why, you are very harsh, Mr. + M'Clutchy; you might show a little forbearance, my good neighbor. Upon + what authority, though, do you remove the furniture? because I did believe + that the tenant was usually allowed fourteen days to pay up, before the + process of an auction, and even that, you know, must take place on the + premises, and not of them.” + </p> + <p> + “There has been an affidavit made, that you intend to remove suddenly, + that is, to make what is called a moonlight flitting, Mr. M'Loughlin, and + upon that affidavit I proceed. As I said, I have the law with me, my good + neighbor.” + </p> + <p> + “Pray where did you pick up the honest man who was able to swear to my + intentions? he surely must be a clever fellow that can make affidavit as + to another man's thoughts—eh, Mr. M'Clutchy?” + </p> + <p> + Val's glances at the man, from time to time, were baleful; but, with his + usual tact and plausibility, he restrained his temper before the sheriff, + lest that gentleman might imagine that he had acted from any other + principle than a sense of duty. + </p> + <p> + Harvey, who heard M'Clutchy's determination with deep regret, now + happening to look out of the window, observed a group of persons + approaching—one of the said group hard and fast in the grip of two + of Val's constables; whilst, at the same time, it was quite evident, that + despite the ignominy of the arrest, mirth was the predominant feeling + among them, excepting only the constables. On approaching the house, they + were soon known, and Val, to his manifest delight, recognized Mr. Easel as + a prisoner, accompanied by Messrs. Hickman and Hartley, both of whom + seemed to enjoy Easel's position between the two constables, as a very + excellent subject for mirth. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “whether is it you or I that is about to + hold a little levee in my humble parlor to-day? But I suppose I need not + ask. Consider yourself at home here, my good neighbor—you are now + up, and I am down; so we must only allow you to have your way.” + </p> + <p> + Just then the parlor door once more opened, and the party already alluded + to entered. Very distant and very polite were the salutations that passed + from M'Clutchy to the party in question, which the party in question + received, on the other hand, with a degree of good humor and cordiality + that surprised and astounded our agent, Val, to tell the truth, felt + rather queer; for, on comparing M'Loughlin's nonchalance with the + significant good humor of the new comers, he was too shrewd not to feel + that there was a bit of mystery somewhere, but in what quarter he could + not possibly guess.” + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said he, falling back upon his humanity, “the duties of an + Agent are often painful, but still they must be discharged. Lord Cumber, I + must confess, has not been well advised, to force me to these proceedings. + Mr. M'Loughlin, I acknowledge I lost temper a while ago—but the fact + really is, that I proceed in this matter with great reluctance, + notwithstanding what I said. Here, however,” he added, turning to Easel, + “is a horse of a different color.” + </p> + <p> + On speaking, he put his hand into his pocket, and pulling out the <i>Hue + and Cry</i> of a certain date, read a description, and, as he advanced, he + turned his eyes with singular sagacity and satisfaction upon the person + and features of poor Easel. + </p> + <p> + “Browbeater was right,” said he; “you are here at full length in the <i>Hue + and Cry</i>—middle size—of rather plausible carriage—brown + hair—hazel eyes—and a very knowing look—the upper lip a + good deal curled; which I see is the case; known to be in the possession + of more money that ought to belong to a person in your condition—and + lastly, before you came here you were hawking high treason in the King's + County, in the character of a ballad-singer and vagabond. You have + expended sums of money among the poor of this neighborhood, with no good + intention towards the government; and the consequence is that Whiteboyism + has increased rapidly since you came amongst us.” + </p> + <p> + “But on what authority do you arrest me now?” + </p> + <p> + “I might arrest you at any time on suspicion; but here are affidavits, in + which it is sworn that you are believed to be a popish spy and treasonable + agent; and besides I have instructions from the Castle to take you.” + </p> + <p> + “But what am I to do?” asked Easel,—“I am a stranger, and known here + by nobody, This, certainly, is not a very Irish reception, I must say, nor + is it very creditable to the hospitality of the country. You were civil + enough to me when you expected me to become an Orangeman.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” replied Val, “that's a proof of your ability; you overreached me + then, which is what few could have done. No—none but a master-hand + like you could do it. Mr. M'Loughlin,” he proceeded, “would you allow me a + separate room for a few minutes? I am anxious to put some questions to + this mischievous vagabond, privately.” + </p> + <p> + “With all my heart,” replied the other; “go into the dining-room.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, you scoundrel,” said Val, “that you may labor under no mistake, I + think it fair to tell you that Browbeater and I know everything about you, + and all the Protean shapes you have gone through for the last three years, + in different parts of the kingdom Now listen to me, you d——d + impostor; listen to me, I say—you have it in your power to become a + useful man to the present government. They have revived the Spy system, + and there is no doubt, from your acquaintance with the designs and + proceedings of Whiteboyism, and of Popery in general, that you can afford + very important information on the subject; if you can, your bread is baked + for life. You know not the large, the incredible large staff of Spies that + we have at work, and believe me, when I tell you that if you make the + proper disclosures to me I shall recommend you in the strongest terms to + Browbeater, who will have you placed high upon the list of informers—a + respectable class of men, let me tell you, and extremely useful—so + that you will be well and liberally paid for your treachery, I mean that + treachery which has <i>amor patriae</i> to justify it. We will not attempt + to control your genius in any way; you can take to ballad-singing again, + if you like, or any other patriotic line of serving the government which + you choose. Having premised me this much, allow me now to ask you your + real name.” + </p> + <p> + “For the present I must decline answering that question.” + </p> + <p> + “Very proper—I see you know your business: and it is not my wish + that you should say anything to criminate yourself—certainly not. + But in the meantime, that you may see I am not at all in the dark, I tell + you that your name is Larry O'Trap, a decent journeyman carpenter by + trade, but as much a painter as I am a parson.” + </p> + <p> + “I won't submit to a private examination,” replied Easel; “examine me + publicly—that is, before the gentlemen in the next room, and I will + answer you to better purpose, perhaps; but I hate this hole and corner + work.” + </p> + <p> + “You will give no information, then?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't exactly say that—it is probable I may.” + </p> + <p> + “Think of it, then,” said Val, “and let me tell you, there is little time + to be lost. I shall speak to you once again before I commit you—that + is, after I shall have punished this villain M'Loughlin, whom I hate as I + hate hell; and mark me, you scoundrel, and reflect on this,—I am a + man who never yet forgave an injury; therefore don't make me your enemy. + This M'Loughlin insulted me some years ago in Castle Cumber, and it is + that insult that I am this day revenging upon his head—so think of + my words.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall think of them; I shall never forget them.” + </p> + <p> + “Keep this fellow in close custody,” said Val to the constables, as they + re-entered the parlor—“until the business of the day is over. Mr. + Sheriff, it is time now that you should do your duty.” + </p> + <p> + “I countermand that order,” said Easel. “You see, Mr. M'Clutchy,” said the + sheriff, smiling, “that here is a countermand.” + </p> + <p> + “Here is your rent in full, Mr. M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “and lest + notes might not prove satisfactory, as they never do to you, there it is + in gold. You will find it right.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, really I am glad of this,” said Val, “it would have been painful to + me to have gone to extremities. Still there is the Ejectment to take + place, as the leases have expired: but that, my good neighbor, will be + merely a form. Of course you will be permitted to go in again as + caretakers; but in the meantime we must get the furniture out, and receive + possession in the proper way. I was angry, Mr. M'Loughlin, a while ago, as + I said and spoke hastily—for indeed I am rather warm when promoting + Lord Cumber's interests; God forgive him in the meantime, for the + disagreeable duties he too frequently put to me—duties for which I + am certain to incur the censure.” + </p> + <p> + “I countermand the order,” repeated Easel, with a singular smile on his + face; “and desire you, Mr. M'Loughlin, to withhold your rent.” + </p> + <p> + “You!” exclaimed Val, looking at him. “Yes!” he replied, walking over, and + looking him sternly in the face. + </p> + <p> + “If it were worth while to ask your name I would—but I believe I + know it already.” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps not.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, perhaps not; and pray what may it be?” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you, sir,” replied Hartley. “This gentleman is—” + </p> + <p> + “Larry O'Trap, a Spy and Whiteboy Agent,” said Val, looking into the Hue + and Cry, and again surveying Easel. “He is imposing on you, Mr. Hartley.” + </p> + <p> + “This gentleman, sir,” proceeded Hartley, “is the Honorable Richard + Topertoe, brother to the Right Honorable Lord Cumber—” + </p> + <p> + “And who has the honor to present you with this communication from that + nobleman,” said Mr. Topertoe, “which contains your Dismissal from his + Agency; and this to you, Mr. M'Slime, which also contains your Dismissal + as his Law Agent. The authority of each of you from this moment ceases; + and yours, my sterling, excellent, and honorable friend, from this moment + recommences,” said he, turning to Mr. Hickman. “This letter contains your + re-appointment to the situation which you so honorably scorned to hold, + when you found it necessary, as his Agent, to oppress the people. Will you + be good enough, Mr. M'Loughlin, to call in Mr. Harman and those other + people? You shall not be left in the dark, sir,” he proceeded, “as to the + extent of our knowledge of your dishonesty, treachery, and persecution.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly, my friend M'Clutchy, it is our duty now to act a Christian part + here. This dispensation may be ultimately for our good, if we receive it + in a proper spirit. May He grant it!” + </p> + <p> + M'Clutchy's face became the color of lead on perusing his dismissal, which + was brief, stern, and peremptory—or as the phrase goes—short, + sharp, and decisive. It was written by Lord Cumber's own hand, and to give + it all due authenticity, had his seal formally attached at the bottom. + Harman now entered, accompanied by Darby, Poll Doolin, and a number of + those persons among the tenantry, whom M'Clutchy had robbed and + persecuted. On looking at them, after having twice perused the letter of + dismissal, his hands and knees trembled as if he were about to fall, and + on attempting to fold the letter, it was visible to all that he could + scarcely accomplish it. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” proceeded Mr. Topertoe, “I may as well inform you that I have made + myself thoroughly and most intimately acquainted with your conduct in all + its revolting phases; I have read and transmitted to my brother two + letters which passed between you and this pious gentleman, Mr. M'Slime, + here, upon the subject of Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman's property—than + which, nothing more flagitious could—in the way of business, or in + the performance of any public duty—enter the heart of man. Just + Heaven! a poor creature, perhaps prompted by the cravings of hunger, will + steal some paltry matter, not worth half a crown—perhaps a + pocket-handkerchief—and forthwith out comes justice, oh, not + Justice, but Law in her stead, with sword in hand, and scales most + iniquitously balanced; and, lo! the unfortunate wretch is immediately + dragged to a prison, and transported for life to a penal colony; whilst at + the same time, rapacious villains like you, will plunder by wholesale—will + wring the hearts of the poor, first by your tyranny, and afterwards rob + them in their very destitution. The unhappy, struggling widow, without a + husband to defend her, you would oppress, because she is helpless, and + your scoundrel son would corrupt her, were she not virtuous. You would + intoxicate an aged man that he might, in the unguarded moments of + inebriety, surrender a valuable lease into your keeping. You would not + receive your rents, except in gold, or which you made the wretched people + pay, ruinous, murderous premium, by selling it but to them from day to + day. You—in fact have now neither time nor patience to enumerate + your monstrous corruptions and robberies, although I know them all, as you + shall find ere long. There is one act, however, so refined in diabolical + depravity, so deeply narked by a spirit of cowardice, revenge, and + cruelty, that I might almost question whether, in the lowest depths of + hell itself, anything so damnably black and satanic could originate—I + allude to the plan which you conceived and got executed by your heartless, + cowardly son, aided by that old woman who stands therein your presence, + for ruining the stainless reputation of Mr. M'Loughlin's only daughter.” + </p> + <p> + “I can prove that,” said Poll, “and here I am ready and willing to do so.” + </p> + <p> + “In this, however, thank God, you have failed,” he continued, “yes, in + this, and every other act of your villainy you have been detected, and + shall be exposed and punished before the proper tribunal. It is you, sir, + and such scourges of the poor and industrious classes as you, who goad the + unhappy, the destitute, and despairing people into crimes that are + disgraceful to the country; it is you, and such as you, who force them, + maddened by your cruelty and oppression, to fall back upon revenge, when + they cannot find redress or justice in the laws of the land. Unhappily the + whole kingdom is studded too thickly with such men, and until property in + this unfortunate country is placed upon an equal footing between landlord + and tenant—until the rights and privileges of him who farms and + cultivates the soil, are as well protected and secured by law as are those + of the other party, so long will there be bloodshed and crime. The + murderer is justly abhorred, apprehended, and punished as he ought in the + sight of God and man to be: but is there no law to reach unprincipled + wretches like you, whose grinding rapacity, dishonesty, and inhumanity, + furnish him with the motives and incentives to the crime he commits? As + for you, gentlemen, and honest men as you are,” he proceeded, addressing + M'Loughlin and Harman. “you remain, of course, in your farms; you shall + have reasonable and fair leases, and, what is more, your credit shall be + re-established on as firm a footing as ever. You shall be enabled to + resume your business on an ample scale, and that as sure as I am master of + two hundred thousand pounds. And now, O'Drive, a word with you:—I + have fully discovered your treachery to both M'Clutchy and M'Slime; you + were a willing agent in carrying out their hard and heartless excesses. + You were, in truth, a thorough bailiff, without conscience, feeling, or + remorse. In no instance have you ever been known to plead for, or take the + part of a poor man; so far from that, I find that you have invited and + solicited their confidence, only—in case they did not satisfy your + petty extortions—that you might betray them to your relentless + employer, whilst, under all possible circumstances you fleeced them by + threats, and acted the vampire on a small scale. You are no longer a + bailiff on this estate, and I have the further satisfaction to assure you, + that in consequence of a private interview I had with the new bishop, the + Right Rev. Dr. Lucre, concerning your appointment to the situation of + under goaler at Castle Cumber, I have succeeded in getting it cancelled; + so that you are at liberty to carry your low knavery to the best market + you can get for it. In all this, I am authorized by my brother, who, I + trust, will soon see the erroneous notions which he entertains upon the + subject of property, and his duties as landlord. You, my dear friend, Mr. + Hickman—my friend, I say with pride, and the friend of the poor with + still greater pride—you will have the goodness to receive from Mr. + M'Clutchy and M'Slime all books and documents pertaining,to the estate, + that are in their possession.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, be my sowl,” said Darby, who was the first to break the silence + that followed these observations; “if you were Lord Cumber himself, + instead of his brother, I'd call that same tratement of me as purty a + piece of ingratitude as ever came acrass me;—me that gave you most + of the information—that sould them both, I may say—an' the + letthers too that convicted them, are they forgotten?” + </p> + <p> + “There is your friend and kindred spirit, Mr. M'Clutchy,” replied Mr. + Topertoe, “who, only that he never forgives an injury, might get you a + secret appointment among the Castle Spies and Informers, with whom, or + rather it would appear, with the gentleman who drills them, he has + considerable influence. It is for such a respectable corps that your + talents are best adapted.” + </p> + <p> + “Of a truth,” said Solomon, “this is a turning of the tables, to use a + somewhat vulgar adage. As for me, I know it is good to be purified in the + furnace, and scourged with many stripes, as it is a fresh proof that I am + cared for.” + </p> + <p> + Up until this moment M'Clutchy had not uttered a single syllable, but, as + we have said, he trembled very much, his temples throbbed, and his brow + fell. The squint in his left eye became deeper and more guilt-like. The + revulsion of feeling, coming upon him so unexpectedly as it did, was + dreadful, and the tumult within him quite beyond the power of language to + describe. + </p> + <p> + He merely said, and this with parched lips and slow enunciation— + </p> + <p> + “Very well, Mr. Topertoe; your wishes touching the giving up of all + documents connected with the property shall be duly complied with, as far + as I am concerned. That, is all I choose to say just now.” + </p> + <p> + “And so far as I am concerned,” said Solomon, “I can say that mine also + shall be rendered up with rejoicing—with rejoicing that I have no + further intercourse with a profligate and most unchristian landlord. I + feel that in this thing I have cause to be rather thankful than + otherwise.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, M'Clutchy,” said M'Loughlin, “I could overlook all your dishonesty + and treacherous misrepresentation of me to Lord Cumber—your attempt + to oust us out of our farms, and to put your son and M'Slime in our places—your + suppressing the fact, besides that we offered a thousand pounds apiece for + a renewal—your whispering away our commercial reputation, and + thereby bringing us in the end to ruin—all that, I say, I could + overlook and forgive; but for your foul and cowardly attempt to destroy + the fair fame of our spotless child—for that, sir, in which, thank + heaven, you failed, I now say, I trust, with honest pride, and tell you + face to face—if you had only the manliness to look in mine—that + I feel this to be the hour of my triumph—but not of my vengeance, + for I trust I am a Christian man.” + </p> + <p> + “As for me, M'Olutchy,” said Harman, “really, on looking over your whole + conduct—into which there comes not one single virtue belonging to + our better nature—I am so filled with indignation, and a perception + of the baseness and blackness of your heart and character, your revenge, + your perfidy, and above all, your cowardice, that I can feel nothing for + you but a loathing and abhorrence that really sicken me when I think of + you.” + </p> + <p> + “What could you expect,” observed Poll Doolin, “from the son of Kate Clank + and villainous ould Deaker?” + </p> + <p> + M'Clutchy never raised his eye, but taking up his hat, he and Solomon, + followed soon after by Darby, took their departure in silence; Solomon + occasionally shrugging his shoulders and throwing up his eyes, like a + persecuted man. + </p> + <p> + “There is now no further use for preserving my incognito,” observed Mr. + Topertoe, “and as you, Mr. Sheriff, have had your journey for nothing, I + shall feel obliged if you will join these gentlemen at the Castle Cumber + Arms to dinner, where we can have an opportunity of talking these and + other matters over more at our leisure.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not expect me, sir,” said Hartley, who felt that the delicacy of his + position with regard to Lord Cumber, rendered it altogether impossible + that he could be the guest of a man with whose brother he was likely soon + to fight a duel. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” replied Topertoe, “if you cannot come I shall regret it.” + </p> + <p> + “It is really out of my power, I assure you,” replied Hartley, as he bade + him fare-Well. + </p> + <p> + The sheriff accepted the invitation; and after shaking hands with, and + congratulating Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman, also took his leave. He had + scarcely gone, when a magnificent carriage and four dashed up to the door, + in which Topertoe, accompanied by Hickman, took his seat, and again drove + off towards. Castle Cumber, where the said carriage only had arrived that + morning from, the metropolis. + </p> + <p> + Darby was certainly confounded by the unwelcome intelligence respecting + the loss of the Gaolership, which was conveyed to him in such an + unpleasant manner by Mr. Topertoe. He knew his own powers of wheedling, + however, too well, to despair of being able, could he see Lucre, to + replace himself as firmly as ever in his good opinion. With this purpose + in view, he wended his way to the Glebe House, where he understood the + newly made bishop yet was, having made arrangements to proceed the next + morning to Dublin, in order to be consecrated. There was, therefore, no + time to be lost, and he accordingly resolved to effect an interview if he + could. On arriving, the servant, who was ignorant of the change against + him which had been produced in his master's sentiments, instantly admitted + him; and the bishop, who had expected a present of game from his neighbor, + Lord Mountmortgage, desired him to be admitted—the servant having + only intimated that the man was come.” + </p> + <p> + “How is this?” said the Prelate in a loud and angry voice; “how did you + get in, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Plaise your Lordship,” replied Darby, “I came in by the door, of course—an' + that, your Lordship, is generally the right way; for as holy Scripture + says,” he proceeded, anxious to let his Lordship see how deeply he was + imbued with Scriptural truth—“as holy Scripture says, 'Verily, + verily, I say unto you, he that entereth not by the door into the + sheep-fold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a + robber,' Indeed, my Lord, I never knewn the consolation that's in + Scripture antil lately, glory be to God!” + </p> + <p> + The bishop looked at him with an angry and scrutinizing eye; for Darby's + deportment, to say truth, puzzled him very much. Whether his conduct + proceeded from audacity, or shear simplicity, he felt unable to determine, + from anything that he could see in Darby's imperturbable features. + </p> + <p> + “What is your business with me now? asked the prelate. + </p> + <p> + “Why, your Lordship,” replied Darby, “I've made out a couple of + proserlytes, that will be a credit to our blessed Establishment, as soon + as they're convarted. One of them, my Lord, is called Barney Butther, an' + the other Tom Whiskey, in regard of—” + </p> + <p> + “Go about your business, sir,” replied the prelate, reddening with + indignation; “begone.” + </p> + <p> + “I will, my Lord; only, my Lord, just before I go—about the Undher + Gaolership?” + </p> + <p> + “Your appointment to it is cancelled,” replied the other, “for many + reasons; you avoided prosecuting that wild priest.” + </p> + <p> + “But sure I said, my Lord, that when I'd get into my situation—” + </p> + <p> + “Your appointment to it is cancelled, I repeat; the fact is, O'Drive, I + have too much regard for your morals and the advances you have recently + made in scriptural knowledge to place you in such a situation. It is only + some hardened sinner, some irreclaimable knave, and not an honest man like + you, that oughht to be appointed to such an office; the nature of its + duties would only draw you into bad habits and corrupt your principles. + The fact is, your very virtues and good qualities; prevent you from + getting it—for get it, you assuredly shall not.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that your last detarmination, my Lord?” + </p> + <p> + “My last respecting that matter,” replied the prelate. + </p> + <p> + “Then, upon my conscience,” returned Darby, “according to that rule, hell + resave the ha'porth of the kind there was to prevent you from bein' a + bishop. I hear you're goin' up to Dublin to be consecrated, and be me + sowl, you want it; but I'd take my book oath that all the grace in your + church won't be able to consecrate you into thrue religion. The back o' my + hand to you, I say; for I hate everything that is ungrateful.” + </p> + <p> + It often happens that a petty insult, coming from an unexpected source, + excites our indignation more than an offence from a higher quarter. The + new made prelate actually got black in the face, and giddy in the head, + with the furious fit of passion which seized him on hearing this language + from Darby. + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, we leave him to cool as best he can, and follow Darby to + Castle Cumber, where he thought it probable he might meet Father M'Cabe; + nor was he mistaken. He found that very zealous gentleman superintending + the erection of a new chapel on a site given to Father Roche by Mr + Hartley. The priest, who knew that the other had recently avoided him, + felt considerably surprised at seeing the bailiff approach him of his own + free will. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he, in a voice which contained equal parts of irony and + anger, “what do you want with me, Mr. Protestant? Ah, what a blessed + Protestant you are! and what a hawl they made when they caught you! What + do you want, you shuffling scoundrel?” + </p> + <p> + “Troth, the grace o' God, I fear,” replied Darby, humbly. + </p> + <p> + “And what brings you to me then? I mean, sirra, what's your business now?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, devil a one o' me but's come jack to the ould creed. Troth, + your Reverence, the impressions you made on me the day we had the great + argument, was, wondherful. Be my sowl, it's yourself that can send home + the whi—word, your Rev-a-ence, in a way that it won't aisly be + forgotten. How-an-iver, sure hell resave the wie o me, but threwn back his + dirty religion to Lucre—an' left him an' it—although he + offered, if I'd remain wid them, to put Johnny Short out, and make me full + gaoler. My Lord,' says I, 'thruth's best. I've heard both sides o' the + argument from you and Father M'Cabe; an' be me sowl, if you were a bishop + ten times over, you couldn't hould a candle to him at arguin' Scripture; + neither are you the mild and forgiving Christian that he is. Sure I know + your church well,' says I up to him. 'It's a fat church, no doubt; an' + I'll tell you what's in it.'” + </p> + <p> + “'What's that, you backslidin' vagabone?'” says he. + </p> + <p> + “'Why, then, plenty of mait,' says I, 'but no salvation;' an' salvation to + me, your Reverence, but he got black over the whole face and shullers wid + rank passion. But sure—would your Reverence come a little more this + way; I think the men's listenin' to us—but sure,” continued Darby, + in a low, wheedling, confidential, and friendly voice, “sure, sir, he + wanted me to prosecute you for the religious instruction—for trath + it was nothing else, glory be to God—that you gave me the day of the + argument; an'—-now listen, your Reverence—he offered me a + bribe if I'd do it.” + </p> + <p> + “What bribe!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir, he put his hand, under his apron—sure he has a black silk + apron on him now, jist for all the world like a big man cook, dressed out + in murnin'—he put his hand undher his apron, and wid a hitch got it + into his breeches pocket—'here's a fifty pound note for you,' says + he, 'if you'll prosecute that wild priest—there's no end to his + larnin,' says he, 'and I want to punish him for it; so, Darby, here's a + fifty pound note, an' it'll be yours when the prosecution's over; and I'll + bear all the expenses besides.'” + </p> + <p> + “And what did you say to that?” asked the priest. + </p> + <p> + “Troth,” replied Darby, “I jist bid him considher his fifty pound note as + waste paper—an' that Was my answer.” + </p> + <p> + “And there's mine, you lying, hypocritical scoundrel,” said the priest, + laying his whip across the worthy bailiff's shoulders; “you have been for + thirty years in the parish, and no human being ever knew you to go to your + duty—you have been a scourge on the poor—-you have maligned + and betrayed those who placed confidence in you—and the truth is, + not a word ever comes out of your lips can be believed or trusted; when + you have the marks of repentance and truth about you, I may listen to you, + but not until then—begone!” + </p> + <p> + “Is that your last detarmination?” said Darby. + </p> + <p> + “No doubt of it,” replied the priest; “my last, and I'll stick to it till + I see you a different scoundrel from what you are.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” replied Darby; “then, upon my sowl, you're all of a kidney—all + jack fellow like—an' divil rasave the dacent creed among you, + barrin' the Quakers, and may heaven have a hand in me, but I think I was + born to be a Quaker, or, any way, a Methodist. I wish to God I understood + praichin'—at aitin' the bacon and fowl I am as good a Methodist as + any of them—but, be me sowl, as I don't understand praichin', I'll + stick to the Quakers, for when a man praiches there, all he has to do is + to say nothing.” Having uttered these sentiments in a kind of soliloquy, + Darby, after having given the priest a very significant look, took his + departure. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he to himself, “if the Quakers, bad luck to them, won't take + me, I know what I'll do—upon my conscience, I'll set up a new + religion for myself, and sure I have as good a right to bring out a new + religion myself, as many that done so. Who knows but I may have a + congregation of my own yet, and troth it may aisily be as respectable as + some o' them. But sure I can't be at a loss, for, plaise God, if all + fails, I can go to Oxford, where I'm tould there's a manifactory of new + religions—the Lord be praised for it!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Darby had better success in his speculations than perhaps + he ever expected to have. We need not inform the generality + of our readers that the sect called Darbyites were founded + by him, and have been called after him to the present day, + sometimes Darbyites, and sometimes Drivers. +</pre> + <p> + On returning home, Val was observed to be silent and morose. The dashing + speed of his ride to M'Loughlin's was not usual to him, for his motions + were generally slow; it was significant, however, of the greedy spirit + which stimulated him to the long wished for glut of his revenge. Not so + his return. He walked his horse as if he had been a philosopher on + horseback; and when Phil (now quite tipsy), who expected to see him return + with all the savage triumph of vengeance in his looks, saw that he was + dumb, spiritless and absolutely crestfallen, and who also observed the + symptoms we spoke of, he began naturally enough to suspect that something + had gone wrong. His interrogations, however, were fruitless. Val, on his + inquiring the cause of these appearances, told him in a petulant fit of + that ill-temper which is pecular to cowards, “to go be hanged;” a + compliment which dutiful Phil returned to his worthy father with interest. + This was all that passed between them, with the single exception of an + observation which fell from Phil's lips as he left the dinner-table, late + in the evening. + </p> + <p> + “I tell you what, M'Clutchy, you're a confounded ill-tempered old + scoundrel, an-and what-what's more—o-o-over to your disgrace, a d——d + bad, rotten, and unsound Protestant. How do you ex-expect, sir, that a + Protestant Establishment can be sup-support-ported in this country by such + scandalous con-conduct as this? hip, hip, hurra! Instead of-of being an + ex-example to your son, it is your-your son, M'Clutchy, that is an example + to you, hip, hip, hur—, and so good night to you, I'm—I'm on + for a neat bit of business—that's all. Go to bed, you old dog.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0028" id="link2HCH0028"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXX.—The Mountain Grave-Yard + </h2> + <p> + —Dreams of a Broken Heart—The Christian Pastor at his Duty—Melancholy + Meeting between a Mother and her Son—A Death-Bed that the Great + might envy—Phil experiences a Specimen of the Pressure from without—Retribution—The + Death of Valentine M'Clutchy. + </p> + <p> + It was now about seven o'clock in the evening; and up from the moment of + Val's return, he had scarcely spoken half a dozen words. As Phil was + leaving the room, however, the father called after him:— + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” said he, “come here for a minute.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Phil, staggering back, “what's in the wind now?” + </p> + <p> + “Phil,” continued the father, “which of all the blood-hounds is the + greatest and most remorseless villain?” + </p> + <p> + “A d——d ni-nice point to decide, when they're on-on duty,” + replied Phil. + </p> + <p> + “If he escapes me—” said Val in a soliloquy;—“but no matter,” + he added, speaking aloud; “I'm a fool for putting such a question to you. + Go to bed, and sleep yourself sober.” + </p> + <p> + Phil staggered out of the room in a very musical mood, slamming' the door + after him with a force that made the house shake. He had not gone a + hundred yards from the hall door when Raymond appeared in the distance, + beckoning him forward; a signal for which he was looking out with that + kind of drunken eagerness which is incapable of forethought, or any + calculation whatsoever that might aid in checking the gross and onward + impulses of blind and savage appetite. Phil's instinctive cowardice, + however, did not abandon him. In the course of the day he primed and + loaded his pistols, in order to be prepared against any of those + contingencies which the fears of pusillanimous men never fail to create. + On meeting with Raymond, who had been waiting for him outside, at a place + previously agreed on between them, he pulled, out the fire-arms, and + showed them to the fool, with a swaggering air, which, despite his + intoxication, sorely belied what he felt. They then proceeded together by + the mountain path, the moon occasionally showing herself by glimpses—for + the night, although cloudy, was not dark, but on the contrary, when the + clouds passed away, she almost might be said to flash out with singular + brilliancy. + </p> + <p> + We now leave them on their way to the place of appointment, as it had been + arranged by Raymond, and beg our readers to accompany us to the + church-yard in the mountains, where all that were dear and so devotedly + beloved by poor Mary O'Regan slept. This unhappy woman, though closely + watched by her friends and neighbors, always contrived, with the ingenuity + peculiar to maniacs and insane persons, to escape from time to time from + under their surveillance, and make her way to the spot, which, despite the + aberrations of reason and intellect, maintained all its sacred and most + tender influences over her pure and noble heart. For some time past, moved + probably by some unconscious impression of the pastoral attention and + kindness of the amiable Father Roche, she had made his house her home; and + indeed nothing could exceed the assiduity and care with which she was + there watched and tended. Everything that could be done for her was done; + but all sympathy and humanity on their part came too late. Week after week + her strength wasted away, in a manner that was painfully perceptible to + those who felt an interest in her. Her son Ned was still in the country, + but had no fixed residence, and merely remained for the purpose of seeing + her freed from all her miseries, and laid in her last unbroken sleep + beside those whom she had loved so well. On the evening in question, she + appeared to be so feeble and exhausted, that the good priest's family did + not for a moment imagine that any particular vigilance was necessary. + Between six and seven o'clock, then, she had performed the last of those + pilgrimages of the heart which time after time had been made by her to the + solitary church-yard in the mountains—containing, as it did, the + only humble shrine from which her bruised and broken spirit could draw + that ideal happiness, of which God in His mercy had not bereft her. + </p> + <p> + On arriving at the old ruin, she felt so completely enfeebled, that a + little rest was absolutely necessary previous to her reaching the graves + she came to visit, although they were only a few yards distant from the + spot which afforded the poor creature the requisite shelter while + recruiting her exhausted powers. At length she arose, and having tottered + over to the graves, she sat down, and clasping her hands about her knees, + she rocked her body to and fro, as Irish women do when under the influence + of strong grief. She then chaunted a verse or two of an old song, whose + melancholy notes were not out of keeping with either the scene or the + hour; nor an unsuitable burthen for the wild night breeze which wailed + through the adjoining ruins in tones that might almost be supposed to + proceed from the spirit of death itself, as it kept its lonely watch over + those who lay beneath. + </p> + <p> + “I wonder,” said she, “that they do not speak to me before this, for they + know I'm here. Ah,” she proceeded, “there's his voice!—my + white-haired Brian's voice! what is it, 'darling? I'm listenin'! + </p> + <p> + “'Come, mother, come,' he says, 'we are waitin'!' + </p> + <p> + “Is it for me, <i>a lanna dhas oge</i>? + </p> + <p> + “'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother dear, for you!' + </p> + <p> + “Well, Brian darlin', I'll come. + </p> + <p> + “'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are wait-in'!' + </p> + <p> + “And,” she proceeded, “who is this again? ah, sure I needn't ax; Torley, + my heart, I'm here! + </p> + <p> + “'Come, mother dear,' he says, 'for we are waitin'!' + </p> + <p> + “Is it for me, my manly son? + </p> + <p> + “'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother—mother dear, for you?' + </p> + <p> + “Well, Torley darlin', I'll come. + </p> + <p> + “'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are waitin'?' + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” she proceeded, “here is my own Hugh, my brave husband, that I fought + for, what does he say? Whisht! + </p> + <p> + “'Come, Mary dear—come, the distracted, the lovin,' but the + heart-broken—come to us, my fair-haired Mary, for we are waitin'; + our hearts love you even 'in heaven, and long for you to be with us.' + </p> + <p> + “Husband of my heart, I will come; and here sure I feel as you all do in + heaven—for there is one thing that nothing can kill, and will never + die, that is the light that's in a lovin' wife's heart—the light + that shines in a mother's love—Hugh, <i>asthore machree</i>, I'll + come, for sure I'm jist ready. + </p> + <p> + “You are not sick now, Brian,” she proceeded; “it isn't the cowld pratee, + and the black sickenin' bog water you have there! + </p> + <p> + “'No, mother dear,' he said, 'but we want you; oh, don't stay away from + us, for our hearts long for you.' + </p> + <p> + “I will come, avillish—sure I'm jist ready. Torley,” she proceeded, + sustaining a dialogue that proceeded, as it were, out of the accumulated + affection of a heart whose tenderness shed its light where that of reason + failed,—“Torley, my manly son, your young cheek is not pale now, nor + your eye dim—you don't fear the hard-hearted. Agent, nor his + bloodhounds, nor the cowld and bitther storm that beat upon your poor + head, an' you dyin'—you don't fear them now, my brave boy—you + neither feel nor fear any of these things now, Torley, my son! + </p> + <p> + “'No mother,' he says 'all we want now is to have you wid us. Our hearts + long for you, and why do you stay away from us?—Oh! come mother + dear, for we're waitin'!' + </p> + <p> + “Torley, my manly son, I'll come, for I'm jist ready. + </p> + <p> + “Hugh, husband of my heart, you're not now lyin' sick upon the damp cowld + straw, as you war in the cabin on the mountains—your head has no + pain now, avick machree—nor is your heart low and sorrowful wid your + own illness and our want.—The voices of the Dashers, or + Blood-hounds, aren't now in your ears, nor need you be afraid that they + will disturb your bed of death—an' distract your poor sowl wid their + blasphemin', when you ought to think of God's mercy.—Oh! no, + avillish, sure you feel none of that now, Hugh dear? + </p> + <p> + “'Oh, no,' he says, 'nothing of that do we feel now—nothing of that + do we fear. But, come, Mary, oh, come, come to us—and we think the + time long till we see you again.'” + </p> + <p> + These affecting dialogues, or rather “dreams of a broken heart,” were + literally nothing else than the mere echoes of her own afliction; for it + was obvious that the love she felt for her husband and children, + unconscious as she then was of it, gave form to the sentiments which her + excited imagination had clothed in language that was so highly figurative. + For some time she was silent, or muttered to herself such fragments of + unconnected language as rose to her fancy—and ultimately laid down + her head upon the little grassy mound which constituted their graves. Here + she had not lain long, when, overcome by the fatigue of the journey, she + closed her eyes, and despite the chilliness of a biting night, sank into + an unbroken slumber. + </p> + <p> + Sleep on, poor sufferer—and let those whose crimes have placed thy + distracted head upon that cold and unnatural pillow, reflect that they + have a judge to meet, who will, in another life, not overlook the deeds + done in this. Who is there who would, even in this thy most pitiable + destitution, exchange thy innocent, but suffering spirit, for M'Clutchy's + heart, or the dark crimes which it festers. + </p> + <p> + At length she awoke, but whether it was that the keen and piercing air had + cooled the pulsation of her beating brain, or that the restoration to + reason, which is called, when applied to the insane—a lightening + before death—had taken place, it is impossible to say with anything + like certainty. At all events, on awakening, the first sensations she + experienced were those of surprise and wonder, and immediately did she + feel her mind filled with a train of shocking and fearful reminiscences. + Her physical sufferings were also great. She felt benumbed and chilled; + her heart was cold, and a shivering sickness ran through her whole frame, + with a deadly presage of approaching dissolution. She looked up to the + sky, then round her at the graves, and in a moment recognized the + burying-place of her husband and children. All the circumstances then + connected with the Extermination scene at Drum Dim, and that of the treble + death in the mountains, rushed upon her recollection with a force at once + vivid and powerful. + </p> + <p> + “Father of heaven,” * she exclaimed, “I have been driven out of my raison + by too much sorrow, and here I am restored to it on the very graves where + those that I love!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The reader is to remember, that she is supposed to give + utterance to all her feelings and sentiments in the Irish + language. +</pre> + <p> + She then endeavored to rise, but found on making the attempt, that she had + not strength for it. The consciousness of this filled her heart with woe + almost unutterable. + </p> + <p> + “Merciful father,” she again exclaimed, “do not—oh, do not suffer me + to die on this wild mountain side, far from the face or voice of a human + being! There is nothing too powerful for your hand, or beyond your + strength or your mercy, to them that put their humble trust in you. Save + me, oh, God, from this frightful and lonely death, and do not let me + perish here without the consolations of religion! But if it's thy blessed + and holy will to let me do so, then it is my duty to submit! Give me + strength, then, to bow to thy will, and to receive with faith and + thanksgivin' whatever you choose to bestow upon me! And above all things O + Lord, grant me a repentant heart, and that my bleak and lonely death-bad + may have the light of glory upon it! Grant me this, O God, and I will die + happy even here; for where your blessed presence is there can be nothing + wantin'.” + </p> + <p> + Her piety and faith in the mercy of God were not without their own reward. + The last words were scarcely uttered, when Father Roche, accompanied by + her son Ned, advanced to the grave on which she sat. He had been absent on + a sick call, and would not have been aware of her escape to the mountains, + were it not for her son, who, having met him on his return, requested + permission to see her, only for a few minutes, if not too late. The priest + granted him so reasonable a request, and it was on seeking for her that + the discovery of her absence took place, the rest of the family having + been of opinion that she had gone to bed in the early part of the evening, + as was mostly her habit. The priest suspected, from her weak state of + health and shattered constitution, that such a journey would probably + prove fatal, and with his usual discrimination he calculated upon the + restoration to reason which actually occurred. + </p> + <p> + “In that case,” said he, “the administration of the last rites will + console her on her bed of death, and God forbid that she should depart + without them. It is my duty that she shall not.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor woman!” said he, as they approached her, “this chilly night will be + a severe trial upon her.” + </p> + <p> + “What wouldn't I give, my dear mother,—oh, what wouldn't I give,” + said Ned, tenderly taking her hand, “to see your senses restored to you!” + </p> + <p> + “Thank the Almighty, then!” she returned feebly—“what!—my + darling son Ned! and Father Roche! Oh, was I not right in sayin' that + there is nothing too powerful for God's strength and love?” she exclaimed; + she then kissed her son, who burst into tears, and tenderly embraced her. + </p> + <p> + “See how unexpectedly He can surround even this cowld death-bed with his + mercy.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't say a death-bed”, my dear mother, for now that the blight of raison + has left you, I hope you'll get new strength.” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” she replied, with a feeble but Mournful smile, “I will Ned; but + it'll be in heaven with them I love, and that love me. My dear Ned, all my + cares are now over—my affections past—I will soon be out of + sorrow and out of pain: this heart will suffer no more, and this head will + no longer be distracted! Oh, the hopes of heaven, but they're sweet and + consolin' on the bed of death!” + </p> + <p> + “Cherish them, dear Mary,” said Father Roche; “for I believe you will soon—very + soon indeed—realize them. Her pulse,” he added, “is scarcely + perceptible, and you hear how very feeble her voice is.” + </p> + <p> + “What are we to do, then?” asked her son; “do you think, my dear mother, + that you could bear removal?” + </p> + <p> + “No—ah, no,”—she replied, “No—I feel that I am going + fast—my feet and limbs are like marble, and the cowld is gettin' + into my heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my darling mother,” said the son, in tears, “but that was the warm + and the lovin' heart!” + </p> + <p> + Father Roche then having put on his stole, went to her side, and, as is + usual in all cases of approaching death, where a priest is in attendance, + administered to her the last rites of religion. Here in the mountain + solitude did he cheer her departing spirit, as he had that of her husband, + with the sustaining hopes of a glorious immortality. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said she, “I know that I die happy; for here where I couldn't + expect it, has the light of God's mercy shone upon me. He has brought my + son to my side—He has brought the consolations of religion to my + heart, when I was lyin' helpless and alone in this mountain desert. Yes,” + she said, “I forgive all those who ill-treated both me and mine—and + the worst I wish them is, to pray that God may forgive them, and turn + their hearts. And now, Hugh, I am ready—Tor-ey, my manly son, and my + own Brian, with the fair locks, we'll soon be all united again—and + never to part any more—never to part anymore! Ned,” said she, “kiss + me; you are all I now lave behind me out of my fine family; but God's will + be done! I need not bid you,” she added, “to bury me here, for I know you + will—and I wish you would put little Brian's coffin on mine, in + order that my darling child may sleep where I'd have him sleep, until the + Resurrection Day—that is, upon this lovin' mother's breast. But what + is this?” she asked; “is there a light—a bright light—about + me? I feel happy—happy. Oh sure this is the love of God that is to + recompense me for all!” + </p> + <p> + Ned, who had her in his arms, felt her head fall down, and on looking at + her, he perceived that she had actually passed away into the happiness of + God's love, which, no doubt, diffused its radiance through her spirit that + was now made perfect. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said Father Roche, wiping his eyes, “a pure and noble spirit has + indeed passed from a life of great trial and crushing, calamity into one + of glory and immortality. There is a proof, and a consoling proof, of the + lustre which so often irradiates the death-beds of the humble classes in + Ireland, who die far from the knowledge and notice of the great, whom + their toil probably goes to support.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” replied Ned, bitterly; “it's an aisy thing for Lord Cumber to know + what's either good or bad upon his estate—how the people live, or + how they die—very aisy, indeed, for a man who never puts a foot on + it, but leaves them to the mercy of such villains as M'Clutchy. Had he + been livin' on his property, or looked afther it as he ought to do, I + don't think it's lyin' stretched, far from house or habitation, that you + would be this night, my blessed mother—my poor father, and your + childre cut down by persecution, and yourself, without house or home, + runnin' an' unhappy, deranged creature about the country, and now lyin' + there widout a roof to cover your poor remains.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not say so,” replied Father Roche; “she shall be waked in my house, + and buried at my expense.” + </p> + <p> + “If you'll allow her to be waked there, I will thank you, Father Eoche; + but the expenses of her burial, I am myself able to pay; and so long as I + am, you know, I could not suffer any one else to intherfare; many thanks + to you, sir, in the meantime.” + </p> + <p> + “Well then,” said the priest, “as I know and understand the feeling, I + shall not press the matter; but since the body cannot be left without + protection, I think you had better go down, and fetch a few neighbors with + a door, and let her be removed forthwith. I shall remain till you return.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a very hard thing, Father Roche, that you should be put to sich a + duty,” replied O'Regan; “but the truth is, I wouldn't take all the money + in the King's exchequer, and remain here by myself.” + </p> + <p> + “But I have no such fears,” said the priest; “I shall stay within the + shelter of this old ruin until your return, which will be as quick, I + trust, as possible.” + </p> + <p> + O'Regan was about to start off at the top of his speed; and Father Roche + began to walk to and fro the old ruin, struck by the pale moonlight, as it + fell through the gray stone windows, loopholes, and breaches of the walls, + lighting up some old remnant of human ambition, or perhaps exposing a + grinning skull, bleached by time and the elements into that pale white, + which is perhaps the most ghastly exponent of death and the dead. At this + moment, however, they were each in no small degree startled by the sound + of human voices; and, to complete their astonishment, two figures + approached the humble grave on which the dead body of Mary O'Regan lay + stretched. On turning towards the moon they were both immediately + recognized by the priest and O'Regan, who looked on in silence and wonder, + and waited to hear, if possible, the object of their visit. + </p> + <p> + “I say again,” said Phil, “I say my jolly ph-foolosophy—eh + foolosopher—that is to say, you deal in foolosophy—an + ex-excellent trade for a fool—I say again, you have brought me the + wrong way, or misled me somehow—upon my honor and reputation, Rimon, + I rather think you're short of sense, my man. Come, I say, let us be off + home again—what the devil did you bring me to a church-yard for?—eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Whisht,” said Raymond, “let us see—who have we here? Ah,” said he, + stooping down and feeling the chill of death upon her features, “it is + Mary O'Regan, and she's dead—dead!” + </p> + <p> + “Dead,” exclaimed Phil, starting, “curse you, Rimon, let us be off at full + speed, I say—Gad, I'm in a nice pickle; and these pistols are of no + use against any confounded ghost.” + </p> + <p> + On hearing that Phil carried pistols, O'Regan started, and had it been + daylight, a fierce but exulting fire might have been seen to kindle in his + eyes. + </p> + <p> + “What can have brought them here?” asked Father Roche; “I cannot + understand their visit at such an hour to such a place as this.” + </p> + <p> + “A few minutes, sir, will make all clear, maybe.” + </p> + <p> + “And what brought poor Mary here to die, do you know?” inquired Raymond; + “no you don't,” he replied, “but I will tell you—she came to die + near poor White-head that she loved so much, and near Torley, and near + poor Hugh himself, that the bloodhounds—” + </p> + <p> + “Damn my honor, Rimon, if I can stand this any longer—I'm off.” + </p> + <p> + “Hould!” said Raymond, with a shout whose echoes rang through the ruins; + “you musn't go till you hear me out,” and on uttering the words he gripped + him by the arm, and led him over to the dead body. + </p> + <p> + “I'm goin' to tell you myself,” proceeded Raymond; “she came to die here + that she might be near them—do you onderstand?” and he involuntarily + pressed the arm he still held with his huge iron finger, until Phil told + him he could not bear the pain. “She came to die here that she mightn't + have far to go to them; for you don't know, maybe, that it's on their + grave she is now lyin':—ha, ha; that's one. DID YOU EVER SEE A + MURDERED WOMAN, CAPTAIN PHIL?” + </p> + <p> + “Never,” replied Phil, who stood passive in his grip. + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha, ha,” he chuckled, “that's not a good one. Well, but, did you ever + see a murdherer?” + </p> + <p> + “Some o' the blood-hounds pinked fellows, I believe, but then they were + only rebels and Pap-papishes.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha,” still chuckled Raymond, as he confronted himself by degrees with + Phil, “I swore it for poor White-head's sake—and for Mary + M'Loughlin's sake—an' for twenty sakes besides.” + </p> + <p> + “God! Rimon, what do you mean?” said Phil, “there's a dreadful look in + your eyes Rimon, you are an excellent fellow; but tell me what you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “To show you a murdherer,” he replied; “and now I have one by the throat!” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke, he clutched him by the neck with a grasp that might strangle + a tiger. Then, as before in O'Regan's sheeling, all the fury of the savage + came upon him; his eyes blazed fearfully—the white froth of passion, + or rather of madness, appeared upon his lips, and his bowlings resembled + the roaring of some beast of prey, while tearing up its quivering victim + in the furious agonies of protracted hunger. In a moment Phil was down, + and truly the comparison of the beast of prey, and his struggling victim, + is probably the most appropriate that could be made; when we consider the + position of the one writhing helplessly upon the ground, and the other + howling in all the insatiable wildness of bloodthirsty triumph over him. + So hard and desperate indeed was the tug for life, and so deadly was the + immediate sense of suffocation becoming, that Phil, whose eyes were + already blinded, and who was only able to utter a low hoarse gurgle, which + sounded like the death-rattle in his throat, was utterly unable either to + think of or to use his fire-arms. The onset, too, was so quick, that + neither Father Roche nor O'Regan had time to render assistance. + </p> + <p> + “Great heaven,” exclaimed the priest, “is the young man, bad and wicked as + he is, to be murdered before our eyes by that gigantic idiot!” + </p> + <p> + He proceeded to the spot just when Raymond was about to repeat, in + reality, the imaginary scene with the pillow. + </p> + <p> + “Ho, ho,” he shouted, “give us betther measure—a little more of it—the + same tongue never was your own friend, nor the friend of any one else—ha, + ha,—ho, ho, ho. There, that's one—take it out o' that, will + you?—whoo, hoo—hello, hach, ach!—This for White-head, + and this for Mary M'——” + </p> + <p> + “What's this, Raymond?” said Father Roche, gently laying his hand upon his + huge arm, the muscles of which, now strung into almost superhuman + strength, felt as hard as oak. “Stop, Raymond,” he proceeded, “would you + like that work yourself, my good boy?” + </p> + <p> + “Father Roche!” said Raymond, relaxing his hold more from surprise than + anything else. + </p> + <p> + “If you will take your hand from his throat, Raymond, my good boy, I will + tell you where you will get a cock that no other bird in the country could + have a chance with. There's a good boy—let him go. Follow me over + here, and leave him.” + </p> + <p> + “A cock that cannot be beat?” exclaimed Raymond, starting at once to his + feet, “no, but will you?” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you where he is,” said the priest, “but do not harm him + more,” pointing to Phil,—“I only trust in God that it is not too + late.” He stooped to examine Phil's countenance, and indeed the sight was + as strongly calculated to excite mirth as disgust. There he lay, his foul + tongue projecting out of his mouth, which was open and gasped for wind; + his huge goggle eyes, too, had their revolting squint heightened by terror + into an expression very like that assumed by a clown when he squints and + makes faces at the audience, whilst his whole countenance was nearly black + from excess of blood, and the veins about his forehead and temples stood + out swollen as if filled with ink. + </p> + <p> + “Aye, you may look at him,” said Raymond—“he is apurty boy now, + countin' the stars there. A beauty you were, a beauty you are, and so I + leave you!” + </p> + <p> + “Come over,” said Father Roche to O'Regan, “and see if you can render him + any assistance. You are stronger.” + </p> + <p> + “Would he know me, do you think?” said O'Regan before he went over. + </p> + <p> + “At present, certainly not,” replied Father Roche; “but he is breathing, + and in about eight or ten minutes I hope he will probably recover.” + </p> + <p> + O'Regan went over, loosed his cravat, and stayed with him a few moments, + after which he returned to Raymond and the priest, who were now in the + ruin. + </p> + <p> + “I think he will be well enough shortly,” he observed, “but the truth is, + Raymond, that he wasn't worth your vengeance. I will now go and fetch a + few of the neighbors to assist in bringing my poor mother down from this + lonely spot, that she may at least have a Christian roof over her.” + </p> + <p> + He accordingly departed, and Father Roche in a few minutes had Phil's mind + completely disentangled from the train of dark thoughts and affectionate + impulses by which it had been for some time past alternately influenced. + </p> + <p> + “Raymond,” said the priest, “how could you think of committing such a + frightful act as murder?” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha!” he replied, “sure i'twas when I thought of Mary M'Loughlin and + poor White-head.” + </p> + <p> + “And how did it happen that, of all places in the world, you both came + here?” + </p> + <p> + “Becaise White-head and the rest are here. Sure he thought he was comin' + to a poor creature upon no good, and when he was drunk it was aisey to + bring him anywhere—ha, ha! that's one too—for I—can + manage him.” + </p> + <p> + “I thank the Almighty Father,” ejaculated the priest, “that I was able to + prevent another murder this night—for most assuredly, Raymond, you + would have taken his life.” + </p> + <p> + “Ho, ho!” exclaimed the fool, with a little of his former ferocity, “sure + it was for that I brought him here—aye, aye, nothin' else.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, while you live,” continued the old man, “never attempt to have the + blood of a fellow creature on your soul. I must go over and see how he + feels—I perceive he is able to sit up. Young man,” he proceeded, + addressing Phil, “I render God thanks that I have been instrumental in + saving your life this night.” + </p> + <p> + “That's more than I know,” replied this grateful youth; “I neither saw nor + heard you, if you were.” + </p> + <p> + “It matters not,” replied the other, “let me assist you to rise.” + </p> + <p> + “I can rise myself now,” said he, getting up and staggering; “I'll + transport you and that d——d savage, Rimon the hatter. You are + a po-popish priest, and you cannot be he-here at this time of night for + much good. Never fear but I'll make you give an account of yourself, my + old buck.” + </p> + <p> + The, reader is already aware that Phil had been far advanced in + intoxication previously; but when we take into account the fearful + throttling he received, and the immense rush of blood which must have + taken place to the brain, we need not be surprised that he should relapse + into the former symptoms of his intoxication, or, in other words, that its + influence should be revived in him, in consequence of the treatment he + received. + </p> + <p> + “I think,” continued Phil, “that I have got you and Rimon in my power now, + and damn my hon-honor, may be we won't give you a chase a-across the + country that'll put mettle into your heels; hip, hip, hurrah! Ay, and may + be we won't give big M'—M'Cabe, or M'Flail, a ran that will do him + good too, hip, hip—so good—good-night till I see you-you just + as you ought to be—knitting your stock-cooking like Biddy O'Doherty; + hip!” + </p> + <p> + He then staggered on homewards, half stupid from the strangulation scene, + and very far removed from sobriety, in consequence of the copious + libations of brandy he had swallowed in the course of the day and evening. + </p> + <p> + “Good night, Captain Phil,” cried Raymond after him; “when will you come + to the hills to meet Bet M'Cracken again?—Ha ha there now, that's + one.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor infatuated young man,” exclaimed Father Roche; “if you were not so + completely an object of contempt, you would surely be one of compassion. + May God in his mercy pity and relieve the unfortunate people whose + destinies, domestic comforts, and general happiness, are to such an extent + in the keeping of men like you and your wretched father—men who + breathe an atmosphere rank with prejudices of the worst description, and + hot with a spirit of persecution that is as free from just policy as it is + from common sense! When will this mad spirit of discord between Christians—mad, + I call it, whether it poison religion, politics, or inflame religion—be + banished by mutual charity, and true liberty, from our unhappy country? + and when will the rulers of that country learn that most important secret, + how to promote the happiness of the people without degradation on the one + hand, or insolent triumph on the other?” + </p> + <p> + O'Regan's return with the neighbors from the lower country, was somewhat, + and yet not much, more protracted than Father Roche had expected. + Considering everything, however, there was little time lost, for he had + brought about a dozen and a half of the villagers with him. Having reached + the cold bed where she lay, and where all her affections had dwelt, they + placed her upon a door, and having covered her body with a cloak brought + for the purpose, the little solitary procession directed their steps to + that humble roof which had been, ever since Father Roche occupied it, a + sheltering one to destitution, and poverty, and repentance. + </p> + <p> + As they began to move away, O'Regan said— + </p> + <p> + “Excuse me for a few minutes—I wish to go back to the spot where my + father and brothers sleep; that surely is but natural, and I will soon + overtake you.” + </p> + <p> + They then proceeded, and he remained at the graves of his relatives. He + stood over them in silence for many minutes, keeping his face covered with + his hands. At length he knelt down and sobbed out aloud. + </p> + <p> + “Father,” said he, “I have fulfilled my oath—Torley, I have + fulfilled my oath—Brian, my sweet and fair-haired child—your + brother, when none was left to do you justice but myself, has fulfilled + his oath. Listen to me and rest quiet in your, graves. The oppressor is no + more—the scourge of the poor—the persecutor—the robber + that trampled upon all law—that laughed at justice—that gave + vent to his bad passions, because he knew that there was neither law, nor + justice in the country to protect people like you or to punish himself;—that + oppressor—that scourge of the poor—that persecutor—that + robber, is this night sent to his account by my hand—for by no other + had such a right to fall.—Sleep quiet and contented in your graves + my father—and Torley and poor Brian! As we had no law for us in this + country—I was his law—I was his justice—and so may God + prosper me, if there is not a heavy load taken off of my heart by the fate + that has come on the villain by my hand!” + </p> + <p> + He spoke these words m tears and deep sobs after which he composed + himself, so that he might appear in his usual mood, that of simple grief, + on rejoining his companions. + </p> + <p> + The morning of the following day, the town, and neighborhood of Castle + Cumber were in a state of extraordinary excitement and tumult. + </p> + <p> + “Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq.,” said the True Blue, “the excellent and humane + Agent of the Castle Cumber property, was most barbarously shot dead in his + parlor, about ten o'clock on the previous night. By this diabolical act, + the poor of that admirably managed property,” continued his brother + Orangeman, “have lost, &c, &c.” + </p> + <p> + But it is really sickening to read these unprincipled vindications of the + scoundrels who drive the people into crime and bloodshed by their + rack-renting and oppression. It is time that honest men should speak out, + and fasten upon these scourges of their country, their proper appellative. + To this murder, as to others of a similar character, there never was any + clew found; notwithstanding the large rewards that were subscribed by the + gentry of the county and by government. Phil was too drunk the evening + before to remember anything distinctly. His pistols were never found, nor + was any other discovery made which could fasten even suspicion on any + particular individual. + </p> + <p> + If Phil, however, were drunk the night before his father's death, he was + sober enough the night after it. On that night there was not a hill head + on all the Castle Cumber estate which had not its bonfire and its + rejoicing—for the re-appointment of Mr. Hickman to the agency. It + might, however, be observed in-general—and it is frightful to be + forced to record such a surfeit of things—that the tenantry, one and + all appeared to feel a singular complacency of temper on the occasion—a + strong sense as it were, of great relief—a revival of good spirits—a + cherishing of rational hope—associated with dreams of domestic + comfort, reasonable indulgence, sympathy, and common justice. + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0007" id="linkimage-0007"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/plate355.jpg" + alt="Page 355-- Such Was the End of Valentine M'clutchy " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + Such was the end of Valentine M'Clutchy—and as we have only one + other fact in connection with him to record, we may as well record it + here. On the morning after his death, his mother, Kate Clank, was found + dead on the steps of Castle Cumber gaol, whither, it would seem, she had + come, as if from a principle of early recollection, to the spot where she + had first drawn her breath in innocence; and who can tell, or will any one + dare to say, that she died in guilt, or unforgiven? That is only known to + God, by whom she was to be judged. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0029" id="link2HCH0029"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXI.—Richard Topertoe and his Brother + </h2> + <p> + —Lord Cumber's Duel—Shot by Hartley—Dies in the + Vindication of a tyrannical Principle—Marriage of Harman and Mary + O'Loughlin—Solomon struck off the roll—Handsome Compliment to + the Judge—Solomon's Death—Dances the Swaggering Jig—Lucre's + Virtues and Christian Death. + </p> + <p> + The Honorable Richard Alexander Topertoe, for he was sometimes called the + one and sometimes the other, but most frequently Richard, had been for + several years on the continent, where he found it more economical to + reside than at home. A circumstance connected with a gambling debt of his + brother's; communicated by a friend, brought him suddenly to London, where + he arrived in time to save his brother's reputation and fortune, and most + probably his life, for Lord Cumber, be it known, was very nearly what is + termed a professed duelist. Having succeeded in saving his brother from + being fleeced by a crew of aristocratic black-legs, and thereby rendered + an appeal to the duello unnecessary, he happened to become acquainted with + a very wealthy merchant, whose daughter, in the course of a few months, he + wooed and won. The thing in fact is common, and has nothing at all of + romance in it. She had wealth and beauty; he had some title. The father, + who passed off to a different counting-house, about a couple of months + after their marriage, left him and her to the enjoyment of an immense + property in the Funds; and sooth to say, it could not have got into better + hands. She was made the Honorable Mrs. Richard Topertoe, and if a + cultivated understanding, joined to an excellent and humane heart, + deserved a title, in her person they did. After his arrival in London he + had several conversations with his brother, whose notions with regard to + property he found to be of the cool, aristocratic, and contemptuous + school; that is to say, he did not feel himself bound to neglect the + pleasures and enjoyments of life, and to look after his tenants. It was + enough that he received their rents, and paid a sensible Agent to collect + them. What more could he do? Was he to become their slave? + </p> + <p> + Richard, who now felt quite anxious to witness the management of his + brother's estate—if only for the purpose of correcting his bad logic + upon the subject of property, came over incognito to the metropolis, + accompanied by his wife; and it was to his brother, under the good-humored + sobriquet of Spinageberd, that he addressed the letters recorded in these + volumes. He also had a better object in view, which was to purchase + property in the country, and to reside on it. That he did not succeed in + rooting out of Lord Cumber's mind his senseless prejudices with respect to + the duties of a landlord, was unfortunately none of his fault. All that + man could do, by reasoning, illustration, and remonstrance, he did; but in + vain; the old absurd principle of the landlord's claims upon his tenantry, + Lord Cumber neither could nor would give up; and having made these + necessary observations, we proceed with our narrative. + </p> + <p> + Better than a week had now elapsed; M'Clutchy had been interred with great + pomp—all the Orangemen of the neighboring districts having attended + “his honored and lamented remains” to the grave, each dressed in his + appropriate Orange costume. The provincial chaplain, remarkable for + singing his own songs, had been engaged to preach his funeral sermon, + which he did with a force of eloquence and pathos that literally brought + the tears of those who were acquainted with Val's virtues down their + cheeks—but of none else. He dwelt with particular severity upon + those who had kindled bonfires, and hung his respectable son, “our + esteemed brother, Captain Phil, in effigy; whilst the sacred remains of + that father whom he loved so well, and who so well deserved his love, and + the love of all who had the pleasure and happiness of his acquaintance, + &c, &c, were not yet cold.” + </p> + <p> + All this, we say, had taken place, and our friend Hartley was seated + quietly at his breakfast one morning, when a gentleman named Fenton waited + upon him, on the part of Lord Cumber. After the usual salutations, Mr. + Fenton opened the business on which he had come. + </p> + <p> + “I regret, Mr. Hartley, that there should be any misunderstanding between + you and Lord Cumber.” + </p> + <p> + “Not more so than I do, Mr. Fenton, I assure you; Lord Cumber, I presume, + has arrived then? But pardon me, have you breakfasted?” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, sir, I have breakfasted. He has arrived, sir, and, requested + me, to wait upon you for an apology. It appears, according to my + instructions, as the lawyers say, that you have charged him with holding + and exercising tyrannical principles as a landlord; now this, you know, is + really a thing that a man like him could not overlook.” + </p> + <p> + “Of course, Mr. Fenton, he placed our correspondence in your hands.” + </p> + <p> + “Unquestionably he submitted it to me, previous to my consenting to act.” + </p> + <p> + “And may I ask your own opinion, Mr Fenton?” + </p> + <p> + “As an extensive landed proprietor, Mr. Hartley, I must say that I agree + with him; I think a landlord has a right to demand every kind of support + from his tenant, and that if the tenant claims the privilege of running + counter to his landlord's interest, then the landlord is justified in + removing the tenant off his property as soon as he can.” + </p> + <p> + “In that case, then,” replied Hartley, “I have no concession to make, and + no apology to offer. I regret this business very much; but Lord Cumber + places me in a position which I cannot leave without dishonor.” + </p> + <p> + “He also wishes to have an explanation with respect to the circumstances + which induced so many of his corps of yeomanry to enroll their names in + your new troop.” + </p> + <p> + “I have explained that already, by stating that I never solicited any of + his men to join my troop; they came of their own free will, and I received + them, and certainly will receive as many as come to us under similar + circumstances.” + </p> + <p> + “Then I suppose you will not cause them to withdraw from your troop, as + Lord Cumber insists on.” + </p> + <p> + “Insists on! Will he allow neither the tenant nor the yeoman the use of + his free will, Mr. Fenton? I see nothing now remains but to refer you to + my friend, Captain Ormsby, who will assist you in making all the necessary + arrangements; and the sooner this unpleasant matter is terminated; the + better.” + </p> + <p> + After bidding each other good morning, Mr. Fenton departed to make, as + Hartley termed them, “the necessary arrangements.” + </p> + <p> + The next morning at day-break, in a paddock about two miles from Castle + Cumber, there stood a very elegant young man, of a high and aristocratic + bearing, accompanied by Mr. Fenton, to whom he appeared to be relating + some pleasant anecdote, if one could judge by the cheerful features of the + narrator, and the laughter of his companion. A carriage stood by a kind of + scalp in the road, which carriage contained a medical man, who, indeed, + was present with great reluctance. In a few minutes a gig, containing two + persons, drove to the same spot at a rapid pace, a gentleman on horseback + accompanying it; these were Mr. Hartley, his friend, Captain Ormsby, and a + medical gentleman, whom he also had brought on the occasion. + </p> + <p> + On meeting the two principals bowed politely, addressing each other in + friendly terms, and were actually advancing to shake hands, when they + mutually checked themselves, and Hartley, smiling, said:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord, I fear that this is really a foolish business—why, it is + literally fighting a duel upon abstract principles.” + </p> + <p> + “It is fighting a duel upon a principle, which, either abstract or not, I + will always support. If, however, you wish to avoid a duel, Mr. Hartley, + you have only to withdraw the offensive term you applied to the principle + in question.” + </p> + <p> + “As soon, my Lord, as you renounce the principle itself.” + </p> + <p> + “Enough,” said Lord Cumber, “gentlemen, please to let us take our ground.” + </p> + <p> + Nothing could surpass the coolness, the ease of manner, and fine bearing + of both. The ground was measured at twelve paces, and it was agreed by the + seconds, from principles of humanity, that they should fire by signal. + Indeed, we may say here, that the seconds did everything that men so + circumstanced could do, to prevent the necessity of fighting. Each, + however, was high-minded and courageous, and knowing that his opponent was + remarkable for bravery and success as a duellist, refused to make any + concession. They accordingly took their grounds, resolved to abide the + event. + </p> + <p> + Having been placed, the seconds, previous to their agreement as to the + signal to be given, withdrew a little, so as to be completely out of + hearing. While discussing this point, a circumstance occurred worthy of + notice, and, we must say, the high-minded courage which it manifested + ought to have restrained Lord Cumber, as a man of honor, from turning a + pistol against Hartley on the occasion. Both were standing, as we have + said, awaiting the signal to fire, when Hartley said:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord Cumber a word with you.” + </p> + <p> + “It is too late, Mr. Hartley,” replied that nobleman; “I am on my ground.” + </p> + <p> + “It is not an apology, my Lord,” replied the other smiling; “but really, + as a man of honor, I cannot fight you as we stand at present: we are not + upon equal terms.” + </p> + <p> + “Speak to your second, sir,” said his opponent. + </p> + <p> + “You perceive he happens to be engaged just now,” rejoined Hartley; “but, + in fact, the communication can as well be made to your lordship; I have + just observed, my Lord, that the bullet of your pistol has dropped out, + and I believe, if you will take the trouble to look upon the ground, you + will see it at your feet; your second, I presume, has forgot to put in + wadding.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Hartley,” replied Lord Cumber, “I always believed you to be a + gentleman, and a man of bravery; I feel it now, and whatever the event of + this meeting may be, I shall render you ample justice. I thank you, sir, + for that act of true courage and honor.” At length the bullet was restored + to its place, and the seconds drew aside to give the signal, which was + letting fall a white handkerchief, when each was immediately to fire. + </p> + <p> + How short a span there is between life and eternity! There they stood, + both in high health and strength, full of the world, and the world's + spirit, and yet in how brief a space was one of them to appear before the + judgment-seat of God! + </p> + <p> + At length the signal was given, the handkerchief fell, two shots were + heard, one instantly following the other. Hartley having fired, dropped + his pistol hand by his side, whilst Lord Cumber raised his left hand to + his breast, or rather was in the act of raising it, when he fell, gathered + up his knees to his chin, and immediately stretching out his limbs at full + length, was a corpse: thus dying as he did, in the maintenance of an + unjust and tyrannical principle. And so passed away, by an untimely death, + a man who was not destined to be a bad character. His errors as a man—a + private nobleman—we do not canvass any farther than as they affected + his duties as a landlord. His errors as a landlord were the errors of his + time, and represented the principles of his class. These were contempt + for, and neglect of, the condition and comforts of his tenantry, of the + very individuals from whose exertions and straggles he derived his + support. Strange, indeed, it is that men placed as his lordship was, + should forget a principle, which a neglect of their duties may one day + teach them to their cost—that principle is the equal right of every + man to the soil which God has created for all. The laws of agrarian + property are the laws of a class, and it is not too much to say, that if + the rights of this class to legislate for their own interests were + severely investigated, it might appear upon just and rational principles + that the landlord is nothing more nor less than a pensioner upon popular + credulity, and lives upon a fundamental error in society created by the + class to which he belongs. Think of this, gentlemen, and pay attention to + your duties. + </p> + <p> + Whilst Lord Cumber, who never communicated a syllable touching the duel + with Hartley to his brother, was engaged in that mortal conflict, as it + unhappily turned out to be, the Honorable Richard Topertoe was engaged in + a far different occupation. On that same morning, in Castle Cumber church, + he had the pleasure of giving away the hand of Mary M'Loughlin to her + lover, Harman, and it was on their return from her father's house, after + having witnessed their subsequent marriage by Father Roche, that he met + his brother's carriage containing his dead body. Richard Topertoe + possessed a mind above an empty title, and, perhaps, there lived not a man + who more sincerely deplored the event which made him Lord Cumber, and put + him in possession of a property which he did not require. + </p> + <p> + Our chronicles draw to a close. The contemplated interview between Mrs. + Lenehan, her brother, and Solomon, never in fact took place. Solomon fell + very seasonably into ill health, and could be seen by nobody, except his + physician, who was nearly as religious as himself, and besides, a member + of his own congregation. In the trust, however, which the widow placed in + Solomon, she was, to use his own language, abundantly justified, as the + event proved. Honest Solomon defrauded her out of the money, and had the + satisfaction of reflecting that he reduced her and her family to beggary. + Breach of trust it appears is a very slight thing in the eye of the law, + and Solomon, encouraged by this consideration, ruined the unfortunate + widow and her orphans. This act of gross, unprincipled robbery was, + however, not unpunished. In about a month after he had perpetrated it, the + following scene occurred in the Court of King's Bench, in presence of many + who will have little difficulty in bringing it to their recollection. A + thin, pale-faced man, far gone apparently in serious illness, supported on + each side by a religious friend who had not given him up, one of them by + the way was a Scotchman, and a far greater knave and hypocrite than + himself—approached the table, and requested permission to address + the Court, previous to the exercise of its jurisdiction in striking him + off the Roll of Attornies. This permission was granted, and Solomon, for + it was he, spoke briefly as follows:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord, you see before you a frail sinner, who will soon appear before a + greater and more awful tribunal than yours. I am not here, my Lord, to + defend an act to which I was prompted by—may I be permitted to say + so—by my very virtues. Some men, my Lord, we ruined by excellent + qualities, and some by those which are the reverse. As touching mine, my + Lord, and the principles upon which—but an explanation on this + subject would not become me. Oh, no, my Lord; but your lordship sees these + tears; your lordship sees this weak, feeble, and emaciated frame. You + perceive, in fact, my Lord, that I am scarcely a subject for the severity + of this or any other court. In the meantime, may I be prepared to meet a + greater, a more awful one! May that be granted, my Lord! oh, may He grant + it! I am very feeble, my Lord, but still able to entreat that your + lordship will temper justice with mercy. About a month ago, my Lord, when + I little apprehended the occurrence which—but may His will be done! + My honesty is known, my Lord; it is known there, pointing up—about a + month ago, I say, I had my last child baptized by—I am ashamed to + tell your lordship what name, lest you might imagine that I done so for + the purpose of biasing your judgment in the—No, my Lord, I will add + nothing to the simple fact—I had my last child baptized by the name + of Richard Pennywinkle M'Slime—a circumstance which fills my heart + with sentiments of joy and gratification up to this moment. And I am not + depressed—-far from it. This, my Lord, is a trial, and I know, for I + feel, that it is good for me to be tried, inasmuch as it is a proof that I + am cared for THERE!” and he pointed again upwards as he spoke. + </p> + <p> + The judge, who was a kind-hearted and humane man, was melted even unto + tears which he could with difficulty restrain whilst he spoke. + </p> + <p> + “Unhappy man,” said he, “I have been for several years in the habit of + dispensing law—” + </p> + <p> + “Justice, you mean, my Lord,” said Solomon; “oh, justice, justice, or + rather mercy, my Lord! little of law have you ever dispensed! Oh, little + of law—but much of justice. May He be praised for it! amen, amen!” + </p> + <p> + “Your case, unhappy man, is one which places me in a peculiarly painful + position indeed. The compliment you were good enough to pay me—I + mean that of calling your child after me—makes me feel as if in + addressing you I was—” here he sobbed and wiped his eyes bitterly, + and was about to proceed, when Widow Lenehan's counsel rose up, and said:— + </p> + <p> + “My Lord, it is really too bad that hypocrisy should continue its + impositions even to the last act of the drama. I feel it my duty to + disabuse your lordship in this matter of naming the child after you. + Perhaps the compliment will be considerably diminished, if not absolutely + reversed, when you come to know, my Lord, that the child which bears your + lordship's name—if it does bear it—is an illegitimate one, and + very unworthy, indeed, my Lord of bearing such an honored name as yours.” + </p> + <p> + The judge had been shedding tears for Solomon's calamities during this + address, but it is almost unnecessary to say that the change from the + benevolent and pathetic to the indignant was as fine a specimen as ever + was given of the ludicrous. + </p> + <p> + “Do you mean to tell me,” said the judge, the whole features of his face + in a state of transition that was perfectly irresistible; “do you mean to + tell me that the child which the wretched! man had the insolence to name + after me, was not born in wedlock. + </p> + <p> + “My Lord,” said Solomon, “this is a subject on which aided by my great + namesake the wisest of—” + </p> + <p> + “The decision of the court,” continued the judge, “is, that your name be + struck off the list of Attornies who practice here.” + </p> + <p> + In the course of about six weeks afterwards might be read, in all the + metropolitan papers, the following announcement: “Died of deep decline in + the forty-eighth year of his age, Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney-at-Law. + Indeed we are bound to say, that for the last and most exemplary portion + of his life, he ought rather to have been termed Attorney-at-Gospel. We + are glad to hear, for the sake of his interesting family, that his life + was insured for the sum of two thousand pounds, which has been paid to + them.” + </p> + <p> + About four months after Solomon's death, an American vessel was lying at + the Pigeon House, waiting for the tide. Several of the passengers were + assembled in Mrs. Thumbstall's tavern—previous to the departure of + the brig—where, as was then usual, they amused themselves by + drinking punch and dancing. Among them was a little thin fellow, dressed + in a short frieze coat, striped waistcoat, corduroy breeches, and stout + brogues; beside him sat a comely, youthful, but somewhat prim female, + dressed as a plain peasant girl. The moment the floor became vacant, the + little frieze-coated fellow got to his legs, accompanied by the female, + and addressed the musician as follows: + </p> + <p> + “My good friend, there is—is much cheerfulness in thy music, for + which reason this young person and I will trouble you to play us that + sustaining psalm—I mean that blessed air called the Swaggering Jig, + which is really a consoling planxtic—come, Susanna.” + </p> + <p> + Good by, Solomon, thou art now gone to that land of true liberty, and + sorry are we to say, that thou has left so many who are so much worse than + thyself behind thee! One of the most virtuous acts of thy life was the + defrauding the Spiritual Railway Assurance office of two thousand pounds + upon the fiction of thy death; which, truth to say, was a very bitter + fiction to them. + </p> + <p> + Our chronicles are closed. Need we say that Richard Topertoe, on gaining + the title and estate, became a resident landlord, and is at this day + enjoying a green and happy old age upon one of the best managed properties + in Ireland, where his tenantry are grateful, prosperous, and happy. Mary + M'Loughlin, her husband, and family, lived happily, as they deserved to + live, and some, of them live yet, and will easily recognize themselves in + these pages. + </p> + <p> + Of Phil, we must say a word or two. On finding himself the uncontrolled + inheritor of his father's ill-gotten wealth, he accelerated his progress + in drunkenness and profligacy. He took to the turf, became a gambler and + spendthrift, and went backwards in squandering his fortune through as + unprincipled a course as his father pursued in making it. From step to + step he came down until nothing was left. Having no manly principle to + sustain him, he fell from one stage of rascality and meanness to another, + until he succeeded at length in getting himself appointed as an under + turnkey in Castle Cumber Gaol. A whisper has gone abroad, that upon a + critical occasion when the Sheriff, owing to the death of a certain + functionary essential to the discharge of his duty, felt himself + considerably at a loss, he found in one of the under turnkeys a convenient + substitute. + </p> + <p> + The living of Castle Cumber, left vacant by the promotion of Mr. Lucre to + a Bishopric, was given to an Englishman, as was then the practice, and + would be now, were it not for the influence of common shame and public + opinion. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Clement opened an Academy in Castle Cumber, and succeeded; for he + thought it a wiser thing to live by teaching a school, than to suffer his + large family and himself to starve by the gospel. + </p> + <p> + We now beg to close, by a paragraph from the True Blue:— + </p> + <p> + “<i>Elevation of the Rev. Dr. Lucre to the See of ———</i> + </p> + <p> + “For many years a duty at once so painful and so delightful, has not + devolved upon us as a public journalist. The elevation of the Right Rev., + Father in God,, Phineas Lucre to the See of ———, is a + dispensation to our Irish Establishment which argues the beneficent hand + of a wise and overruling Providence. In him we may well say, that another + bright and lustrous star is added to that dark, but beautiful galaxy, in + the nether heavens above us, which is composed of our blessed Bishops. The + diocese over which he has been called by the Holy Spirit to preside, will + know, as they ought, how to appreciate his learning and attainments. But + what shall we say of the poor of Castle Cumber, to whom he has been such a + kind, meek, charitable, and consoling dispenser of God's gifts and God's + word? At the bed of death, of disease, of poverty—at every post, no + matter how poor, low, neglected, or how dangerous—there was he to be + found, the champion of God—fighting his battles in peace, + self-denial, and charity. It is true, he is not an Irishman; but is it not + a blessed thing that such links of love as he, and of those who resemble + him, should continue to bind the virtues of the two churches, and the two + countries together? His Lordship was consecrated on last Sunday, by that + Right Rev. and blessedly facetious prelate, Archbishop Drapely, who, in + addition to his other evangelical gifts, is said to be a perfect Toler in + canonicals. It is not often that so much piety proceeds from so comic a + source.” + </p> + <p> + Our readers can scarcely forget the circumstances of Mr. Lucre's departure + out of this wicked, ungodly, and sensual world. About eight years ago, or + less, he died in a very pious fit of apoplectic passion, brought on by his + cook, in consequence of that important functionary having neglected the + apostolic duty of dressing a haunch of venison, we presume, upon + scriptural authority. We regret to say, for the sake of the Church, and + the loss which she sustained in consequence, that the haunch in question + was considerably overdone—a fact which one would scarcely imagine + could have produced such important results upon the religion of the + country as it did by his death. + </p> + <p> + With respect to Counsellor Browbeater, we have only to say, that the + government of that period, having got out of him all the dirty work of + which he was capable, felt extremely anxious to get rid of him as easily + and safely as they could. Browbeater, however, who was a most insatiable + leech, stuck to them, knowing that they could not well discharge him + without a character. He was made a master in chancery, and had the honor + of succeeding old Tom Silver, a lawyer, a gentleman, an orator, and a man + of honor and integrity! And only think of Browbeater succeeding such an + office, as excellent, respected, and admirable Tom Silver left behind him! + him! + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent +by William Carleton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY *** + +***** This file should be named 16009-h.htm or 16009-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/0/16009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent + The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two + +Author: William Carleton + +Illustrator: M. L. Flanery + +Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16009] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY, + +THE IRISH AGENT. + + +By William Carleton + + + + +PREFACE + + +It was not my intention to have written any Preface to this book, but +to have allowed it simply to speak for itself. As it is very +likely, however, that both it and the motives of its author may be +misrepresented by bigoted or venal pens, I think it necessary to +introduce it to the reader by a few brief observations. In the first +place, then, I beg to say, that the work presents phases of Irish life +and manners that have never been given to the public before by any other +writer upon the same subject. So far, therefore, the book is a perfectly +new book--not only to the Irish people, but also to the English +and Scotch. I know not whether the authenticity of the facts and +descriptions contained in it may be called in question; but this I do +know, that there is not an honest man, on either side, who has lived in +the north of Ireland, and reached the term of fifty years, who will not +recognize the conduct and language of the northern Orangemen as just, +truthful, and not one whit exaggerated. To our friends across the +Channel it is only necessary to say, that I was born in one of the most +Orange counties in Ireland (Tyrone)--that the violence and licentious +abuses of these armed civilians were perpetrated before my eyes--and +that the sounds of their outrages may be said still to ring in my ears. + +I have written many works upon Irish life, and up to the present day +the man has never lived who could lay his finger upon any passage of my +writings, and say "that is false." I cannot, however, avoid remarking +here, that within the last few years, a more enlarged knowledge of life, +and a more matured intercourse with society, have enabled me to overcome +many absurd prejudices with which I was imbued. Without compromising, +however, the _truth or integrity_ of any portion of my writings, I am +willing to admit, which I do frankly, and without hesitation, that I +published in my early works passages which were not calculated to do +any earthly good; but, on the contrary, to give unnecessary offence to a +great number of my countrymen. It is due to myself to state this, and to +say, that in the last edition of my works I have left as many of these +passages out as I readily could, without diminishing the interest, or +disturbing the narrative. + +_A fortiori_, then, this book may be considered as full of truth and +fidelity as any I have ever written: and I must say, that in writing +it I have changed no principle whatsoever. I am a liberal Conservative, +and, I trust, a rational one; but I am not, nor ever was, an Orangeman; +neither can I endure their exclusive and arrogant assumption of loyalty, +nor the outrages which it has generated. In what portion of my former +writings, for instance, did I ever publish a line in their favor, or in +favor of any secret and illegal confederacy? + +Again, with regard to the Landlords and Agents, have I not written a +tale called the "Poor Scholar," and another called "Tubber Derg"? in +both of which their corruptions and oppressions are exposed. Let it not +be mistaken. The two great curses of Ireland are bad Landlords and bad +Agents, and in nineteen cases out of every twenty, the origin of the +crime lies with the Landlord or Agent, instead of the tenant. + +With respect to the Established Church of forty years ago, if there is +any man living who asserts that I have not _under-drawn_ her, rather +than otherwise, he is less intimate with truth than I could wish. On +this subject I challenge and defy inquiry. I grant you she is much +changed for the better now; but yet there is much to be done in her +still. It is true Irishmen at present get Mitres, a fact which was +unknown forty years ago. We have now more Evangelicism, and consequently +more sleekness and hypocrisy, more external decorum, and, I would also +trust, more internal spirituality. We have now many eminent and pious +Prelates in the Church, whose admirable example is enough even to shame +the Clergymen under them into a sense of their duty. It is to be wished +that we had many more such as they, for they are wanted. The Irish +Evangelical party are certainly very numerous, and they must pardon me +a slight anachronism or two regarding them, concerning what has been +termed the Modern Reformation in these volumes. Are those who compose +this same party, by the way, acquainted with their own origin? If not, I +will tell them. They were begotten by the active spirit of the Church +of Rome, upon their own establishment, when she was asleep; so that they +owe their very existence to those whom they look upon as their enemies: +and if it were only for this reason alone, there ought to be more +peace between them. In England the same spirit has effected a similar +seduction on that Establishment, but with this difference, that the +Puseyites are a much more obedient and dutiful progeny than the Irish +Evangelicals--inasmuch as they have the grace to acknowledge the +relationship. + +This book was written to exhibit a useful moral to the country. It will +startle, I humbly trust, many a hard-hearted Landlord and flagitious +Agent into a perception of their duty, and it will show the negligent +and reckless Absentee how those from whose toils and struggles he +derives his support, are oppressed, and fleeced, and trampled on in his +name. + +It will also teach the violent and bigoted Conservative--or, in other +words, the man who _still_ inherits the Orange sentiments of past +times--a lesson that he ought not to forget. It will also test the whole +spirit of modern Conservatism, and its liberality. If there be at the +press, or anywhere else, a malignant bigot, with great rancor and little +honesty, it is very likely he will attack my book; and this, of course, +he is at liberty to do. I deny, however, that modern Conservatism is +capable of adopting or cherishing the outrages which disgraced the +Orangemen of forty years ago, or even of a later period. And for this +reason I am confident that the Conservative Press of Ireland will +not only sustain me, but fight my battles, if I shall be ungenerously +attacked. Let them look upon these pictures, and if it ever should +happen that arms and irresponsible power shall be entrusted to them, +perhaps the recollection of their truth may teach them a lesson of +forbearance and humanity toward those that differ from them in creed, +that may be of important service to our common country. If so, I +shall have rendered a service to that country, which, as is usual, may +probably be recognized as valuable, when perhaps my bones are mouldering +in the clay, and my ear insensible to all such acknowledgments. + +As for, myself, I have been so completely sickened by the bigoted +on each side, that I have come to the determination, as every honest +Irishman ought, of knowing no party but my country, and of devoting such +talents as God has given me, to the promotion of her general interests, +and the happiness of her whole people. + +Dublin, December 24, 1844. + + + + +CHAPTER I.--An Irish Pair and Spoileen Tent + +--A Marriage Proposal--An Under Agent--An Old Irish Squire and Union +Lord. + + +The town of Castle Cumber it is not our intention to describe at +more length than simply to say, that it consists of two long streets, +intersecting each other, and two or three lanes of cabins--many of them +mud ones--that stretch out of it on each side at right angles. This +street, and these straggling appendages, together with a Church, a +Prison, a Court-house, a Catholic chapel, a few shops, and half a +dozen public houses, present to the spectator all the features that are +generally necessary for the description of that class of remote country +towns of which we write. Indeed, with the exception of an ancient Stone +Cross, that stands in the middle of the street, and a Fair green, as +it is termed, or common, where its two half-yearly fairs are held, and +which lies at the west end of it, there is little or nothing else to be +added. The fair I particularly mention, because on the day on which the +circumstances I am about to describe occurred, a fair was held in the +town, and upon the green in question. The month was December--the day +stormy and unpropitious. There had been a deep snow and hard frost +for nearly three weeks before; but now the aspect of the white earth +contrasted wildly with the large masses of black clouds which hung +motionless in the air, and cast a dark and gloomy spirit not only over +the appearance of inanimate nature, but into the heart of man himself. + +About noon, just when the whole fair had been assembled, the storm +commenced with wind, sleet, and rain. Never was a more striking or +unexpected change produced. Women tucked up, nearly to the knees, their +garments, soaked with wet, clinging to their bodies and limbs, as if +a part of themselves--men drenched and buttoned up to the chin--all +splashing through the slippery streets, their shoes spouting with +snow-broth--the falling of tents--the shouting against the loudness +of the storm, in order to be heard--the bleating of sheep, lowing of +cattle, the deafening and wild hum of confused noises--all, when added +to the roaring of the sweeping blast, the merciless pelting of the rain, +and the inclement character of the whole day, presented a scene that +was tempestuous and desolate beyond belief. Age, decrepid and +shivering--youth, benumbed and stiffened with cold--rich and poor, +man and woman, all had evidently but one object in view, and that was +shelter. + +Love, charity, amusement, business, were all either disappointed or +forced to suspend their operations, at least for the present. Every +one ran or walked as quickly as possible, with the exception of some +forenoon drunkard, who staggered along at his ease, with an eye half +indolent and half stupid, careless, if not unconscious of the wild +uproar, both elemental and otherwise, by which he was surrounded. + +Nay, the very beggars and impostors--to whom, in general, severe +weather on such occasions is a godsend, as it presents them to their +fellow-creatures in a more pitiable aspect--were glad to disperse. In +truth, the effect of the storm upon them was perfectly miraculous. +Many a poor creature, blind from birth or infancy, was gifted with, or +restored to excellent sight; the maimed were suddenly cured--the deaf +made to hear--the dumb to speak--and the study baccagh, or cripple, +bounded away, at the rate of six miles an hour, cursing the whole thing +as a bad spec--a dead failure. + +Solemn assignations of long promise, rustic courtships, and earnest +match-makings, were all knocked up, unless in case of those who availed +themselves of the early part of the day. Time and place, in fact, were +completely forgotten by the parties, each being anxious only to secure +the nearest and most commodious shelter. Nay, though ashamed to write +it, we are bound to confess that some of our countrymen were ungallant +enough, on meeting with their sweethearts, fairly to give them the +slip, or only to recognize them with a kind of dreary and equivocal +salutation, that might be termed a cross between a wink and a shiver. +Others, however, gallantly and magnanimously set the tempest at +defiance, or blessed their stars for sending them an opportunity of +sitting so close to their fair inamoratas, in order that their loving +pressure might, in some degree, aided by a glass of warm punch, +compensate the sweet creatures for the unexpected drenching they had +got. + +It has been well observed, that there is no class of life in which +instances of great virtue and fortitude may not be found; and the +Justness of the apothegm was fully corroborated here. Cold, bitter and +tempestuous and terrible as was the day, amidst rain, wind, sleet, and +hail, there might be seen, in a thoroughfare about the centre of the +town, a cripple, apparently paralytic from the middle down, seated upon +the naked street, his legs stretched out before him, hirpling onward; by +alternately twisting his miserable body from right to left; while, as +if the softer sex were not to be surpassed in feats of hardihood or +heroism, a tattered creature, in the shape of woman, without cap, shoe, +or stocking, accompanied by two naked and shivering children, whose +artificial lamentations were now lost in those of nature, proceeded up +the street, in the very teeth of the beating tempest, attempting to sing +some dismal ditty, with a voice which resembled the imagined shriekings +of a ghoul, more than the accents of a human being. These two were the +only individuals who, in the true spirit of hardened imposture, braved +all the fury of the elements in carrying out their principles--so true +is it, that a rogue will often advance farther in the pursuit of a +knavish object, than an honest man will in the attainment of a just one. +To them may be added the poor fool of the town, Joe Lockhart, who, from +his childhood, was known to be indifferent to all changes of weather, +and who now, elated by the festive spirit of a fair day, moved about +from place to place, without hat or shoe--neither of which he ever +wore--just with as much indifference as if it had been a day in the +month of June. + +If the inclemency of the day, however, was injurious to the general +transaction of business, there was one class to whose interests it amply +contributed--I mean the publicans, and such as opened _shebeen_ houses, +or erected refreshment tents for the occasion. In a great portion +of Ireland there are to be found, in all fairs, what the people term +_spoileen_ tents--that is, tents in which fresh mutton is boiled, and +sold out, with bread and soup, to all customers. I know not how it +happens; but be the motive or cause what it may, scarcely any one ever +goes into a spoileen tent, unless in a mood of mirth and jocularity. To +eat spoileen seriously, would be as rare a sight as to witness a wife +dancing on her husband's coffin. It is very difficult, indeed, +to ascertain the reason why the eating of fresh mutton in such +circumstances is always associated with a spirit of strong ridicule and +humor. At all events, nothing can exceed the mirth that is always to be +found among the parties who frequent such tents. Fun, laughter, jest, +banter, attack, and repartee fly about in all directions, and the only +sounds heard are those of light-hearted noise and enjoyment. + +Perhaps if the cause of this were closely traced, it might be found +to consist in a sense of shame, which Paddy good humoredly attempts +to laugh away. It is well known that the great body of the people pass +through life, without ever tasting beef or mutton--a, circumstance which +every one acquainted with the country knows to be true. It is also a +fact, that nineteen out of every twenty who go in to eat spoileen, are +actuated more by curiosity than hunger, inasmuch as they consist of such +persons as have never tasted it before. This, therefore, being generally +known, and each possessing latent consciousness of its truth, it is +considered best to take the matter in good humor, and escape the shame +of the thing, together with the poverty it implies, by turning it into +ridicule and jest. This indeed, is pretty evident, from the nature +of the spoileen keeper's observations on being paid, which is +usually--"Thank you, Barney; you may now considher yourself a +gintleman;" or if a female--"Long life to you, Bridget; you may now go +into high life any time." + +It is unnecessary to say, that on the day in question, the spoileen +tents were crowded to suffocation. In general these are pretty large, +sometimes one, occasionally two fires being kept in each; over these, +placed upon three large stones, or suspended from three poles, united +at top, is the pot or pots in which the spoileen is boiled; whilst +patiently in a corner of the tent, stand the poor invalid sheep, that +are doomed, as necessity may require, to furnish forth this humorous +entertainment. + +Truth to tell, there are many reasons why this feast is a comic one. +In the first place, the description of mutton which they get is badly +calculated to prejudice honest Paddy in favor of that food in general, +it being' well known that in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, the +sacrifice falls upon disease, poverty, and extreme old age; or, if there +be any manifestation of humanity in the selection, it is--that while the +tenderer sex is spared, the male one is in general certain to be made +the victim, but never unless when he has been known to reach a most +patriarchal length of years. Then the suddenness of the act which +converts a portion of the venerable patriarch into a component part of +honest Paddy, is equally remarkable; for it generally happens that the +animal now standing in a corner of the tent, will in about half an +hour be undergoing the process of assimilation in his (Paddy's) gastric +region. The elastic quality of the meat is indeed extraordinary, and +such as, with the knowledge of that fact, does sometimes render +Paddy's treat of spoileen to his sweetheart an act of very questionable +gallantry. Be this as it may, there is scarcely anything in life richer +than to witness a tent of spoileen eaters in full operation. Tugging, +pulling, dragging, tearing, swinging of the head from side to side, want +of success, loss of temper, fatigue of jaw, recovery of good humor, and +the wolfish rally, mingled with mock curses, loud laughter, shouting and +singing, all going on together, are the ordinary characteristics of this +most original banquet. + +About the centre of the town stood one of those houses of entertainment +which holds rank in such towns as a second rate inn. On the day in +question it was painfully overcrowded, and such was the hubbub of +loud talk, laughter, singing, roaring, clattering of pewter pots, and +thumping of tables, that it was almost impossible to hear or understand +anything in the shape of conversation. To this, however, there was one +exception. A small closet simply large enough to hold a table, and two +short forms, opened from a room above stairs looking into the stable +yard. In this there was a good fire, at which sat two men, being, with +a bed and small table, nearly as many as it was capable of holding with +ease. + +One of these was a stout, broad-shouldered person, a good deal +knock-kneed, remarkably sallow in the complexion, with brows black +and beetling. He squinted, too, with one eye, and what between this +circumstance, a remarkably sharp but hooked nose, and the lowering +brows aforesaid, there was altogether about him a singular expression of +acuteness and malignity. In every sense he was a person against whom +you would feel disposed to guard yourself, whether in the ordinary +intercourse of life and its transactions, or still more in the secret +workings of the darker and more vindictive passions. He was what they +call a down-looking man; that is, one who in conversation could never +look you straight in the face, which fact, together with a habit of +quivering observable in his upper lip, when any way agitated, gave +unquestionable proof that his cowardice was equal to his malignity, as +his treachery was to both. His age might be about fifty, or, perhaps +beyond it. + +The other was a tall man, well featured, of a clear fresh complexion, +a fine blue eye, and altogether, a kind, benevolent expression of +countenance. He had been rather stout, but not robust, and might, +perhaps, at the time we write of, be about the same age as his +companion. He was evidently a man of respectability, well dressed, not +badly educated, and on the present occasion wore good broadcloth and +top boots. The contrast between him and the other, was in nothing more +striking than the honest, joyous spirit of his laughter, which rang +clearly and mellowly on your ear, leaving behind it an expression of +candor, light-heartedness, and good nature, that could not be mistaken. +"It's idle talk to speak about going such a day as this," observed the +beetle-browed man, who stirred up the fire with something that passed +for a poker, in reply; "and to tell you the truth, upon my credit, Mr. +M'Loughlin, I'm not sorry that we happened to meet. You're a man I've +a sincere regard for, and always had--and on that account--well have +something more to drink." So saying, he stamped upon the floor, which, +was exactly over the bar, in order that some one might attend them with +the liquor. + +"I'm obliged to you, Val," replied his companion dryly, "for your good +opinion of me; but at the same time, God forbid that I should ever +deserve it--eh? ha, ha, ha. Well, well, let us have some drink, as you +say, at all events; only it must be at my expense as well as the rest. +Well, sure enough, you were the devil's whip-thong in your day, and +if you haven't repented yet, all I can say is, there is little time to +lose, if you wish to have a bright look up at the last day"-- + +"Ha, ha, go on, Mr. M'Loughlin, we all know you, the same pleasant +fellow you ever were, and upon my credit, as good a companion as any +one could sit with. All I wish is that we had here more of the family on +both sides, that the boys and girls might have something to whisper to +one another." + +"I didn't care we had, Val, my boy; but how on earth will we get home? +Indeed such a terrible day I've seldom seen, for many years." + +"Faith, it's good to have a dry roof over our heads, and a warm fire +before us, at any rate. There's many a poor half-drowned devil in the +fair, would give a trifle to change places with us; there is, upon my +credit." + +In a few minutes the refreshments came in, much to the satisfaction +of the parties, who felt a strong sense of comfort, on contrasting the +warmth of their snug little room with the uproar of the storm that raged +without, and spent its fury upon the cold, bleak, and almost deserted +streets. + +"I am glad, indeed, Mr. M'Loughlin," continued his companion, "that +I happened to meet with you to-day--you and I are now neighbors, and +surely we ought to live like neighbors." + +"Well," replied M'Loughlin dryly, "and don't we do so? You haven't found +me troublesome as a neighbor, have you? Eh, Val, my man?" + +"No," said the other, "certainly I have--upon my credit I haven't, an' +that's what I complain of; neither you nor your family associate with me +or mine." + +"Tut, Val, man," replied M'Loughlin, still in the same dry, ironical +tone as before, "surely it's not long since you came to march us. It's +only two years and a half since you wormed out the O'Hagans, then the +farm lay near two years idle--ay--why, man, you're not four months our +neighbor yet." + +"No--not all out; still, Mr. M'Loughlin, somehow you don't treat me or +my family as neighbors. If you have to borrow anything, no matter what +it is, you never come to me for it. It was only the other day that you +wanted a rope to pull that breeding mare of yours out of the drain--and +yet you sent past me near half a mile, up to Widow Lenehan's to borrow +it." + +"Heavens pity you, Val, for it's a hard case; but every one has their +troubles, and it seems you are not without your own, poor man--eh--ha! +ha! ha!--Well, never mind, my friend; you're better off now for all +that, than when you were only a process-server on the estate; however, +I'll tell you what, Val the Vulture--you see I can be neighborly +sometimes--just let me know whenever you stand in need of a rope--mark, +I don't say whenever you deserve it--and may I never taste worse liquor +than this, but you shall have it with right good will, hoping still that +you'll make a proper use of it--ha! ha! ha! Come, man, in the mean time +take your liquor, an' don't look as if you'd eat me without salt; for I +tell you if you tried it, you'd find Brian M'Loughlin a tougher morsel +than you imagine." + +"If anybody else spoke to me in the style you do, Brian, I'd not be apt +to overlook it; upon my credit and reputation I would not." + +"No, but you'd look round it may be, ha! ha! ha! but go on, Vulture, who +minds what I say?" + +"Nobody, to be sure, because you make one laugh whether they will or +not." + +"Faith, Vulture dear, and that's what nobody can tax you with; or if +you do, it's on the wrong side of the mouth you do it--and they say that +same is but indifferent mirth, Val." + +"I wish, Brian, you would sometimes speak seriously, and besides, you're +always hard, too hard, upon me. Anything I did harshly, it was always in +the discharge of my duty." + +"Never mind, Val, the fewer of those old sores you rip up, the better +for yourself--I'm not going to put you through your catechism about +them. If you're wise, let byegones be byegones; take that advice from +me. Whatever tricks you may have practised, you're now a wealthy man, +and for the same reason the world will help you forget them, if you keep +your toe in your pump." + +"I _am_ a wealthy man, and can set the world at defiance, if it goes to +that; yes, Brian, a wealthier man than the world thinks--and as I said, +I defy it." + +"Faith, and you needn't, for the world won't put you to that trouble, at +least a great part of it, if you were ten times the vulture you are, so +long as you have a full purse. Eh, do you perceive me? ha! ha! ha!" + +"Well, damn the devil, heaven pardon me for swearing, for it's a thing I +hate----" + +"----And yet, many a fat oath you've bolted in your time. Now on the +nick of your conscience, Val darling, how many Bibles did you wear out, +by a long and honest course of hard swearing?--eh--ha! ha! ha!" + +"Ha! ha! ha! Brian, I see there is little use in speaking to you, or +being angry with you; you are a devilish pleasant hearty fellow, only +something a little too rough about the tongue." + +"Never mind, Val, by all accounts it would be easy to reckon them; but +seriously, is it true that the lower joint of your right thumb is horny, +in consequence of having caught the character of your conscience from +having kissed it so often?" + +"Go on, Brian, go on; to be sure it is; they may say what they like--I +am not depending upon them, and I care little. But now, Brian, there +is one thing I will say, and I have long wished for an opportunity of +saying it." + +"That's my bully, out with it; don't be dashed, Val, you'll get over +your modesty; upon my credit you will--ha! ha! ha!" + +"D--n it, you can't be serious for a minute; but no matter, I will +out with it--here's your health and fireside, in the mean time!" Brian +merely nodded in reply, but said nothing. "Now you know, Brian, your +farm and mine lie very snugly beside one another; observe that that's +what I begin with." + +"Very good." + +"Again, your family and mine live very close to one another, too." + +"Very good." + +"Now, what if part of the farms, and part of the families were to become +united, and get spliced together, eh?" + +"Very good, very good." + +"Well, but do you really think so, Brian?" + +"Go on, if you please, and let us hear more of it; state your case, as +you say at the sessions." + +"Well, then, there's your daughter Mary, a handsome girl, and, by all +accounts, as good as she is handsome--and there's my son Phil, who, +excepting the cast (* Squint)--is--but, at any rate, if he's no beauty, +he's a stout young fellow, for you know yourself that that little +closeness about the knees is always a sign of strength." + +"That little closeness, Val!--why, Vulture darling, isn't one knee sugar +candy, and the other licking it?--but go on, it's not bad for so far, go +on; upon my credit it's not." + +"I am glad you like it for so far--then seriously, what would you think +of a marriage between them?" + +"Devil a prettier move you could make, Val. As you say, the farms and +the families lie convenient to one another--and I don't see what's to +prevent your proposal from being realized. You'll do well for Phil, of +course--for although he has the squint in both eyes, instead of only in +one, like yourself--and is twisted very much about the knees, more than +you are a good deal--still, Val--neighbor Val, as I now may call you--he +is a stout, left-legged, round-shouldered blade; and I question whether +the red poll does not become him better than a black one like yours +would." + +"Why I grant you, Brian, that he looks better on horseback than on foot, +and when mounted on 'Handsome Harry,' with top-boots and spurs, it's +not on every highway you could meet his equal." + +"Devil a lie in that, Val--nor a boy better made to ride or shoot round +a corner you could not meet in Europe--but never mind; go on, Val--go +on, my friend; no, faith, on hill or in hollow, it would not be easy to +match him." + +"He'd make an excellent good husband." + +"He would not be your son if he did not--well?" + +"Well, as to that, if the truth was known, I know where the blame +would lie--your daughter will not be the shrew and scold to him that my +blister was to me--upon my credit she won't." + +"Devil, a lie in that either, Val--well, well--oh! I'll take my oath she +won't." + +"I don't see why he and she might not be very happy together--you are +able to do handsomely for her, as report goes." + +"And willing, Val, and a bad father I'd be, if I were not." + +"Well then, Brian, so far all looks fair, and devilish glad I am that I +broached the thing at once. I have been thinking of it ever since I came +to the neighborhood--upon my credit I have.". + +"Faith, and so am I glad of it--but what's to be done next, Val +darling?" + +"Why the less time that's lost upon it the better--we must bring the +youngsters together till they get acquainted--then we can have another +meeting, and settle the match out of hand. Did you ever see Phil on +'Handsome Harry?'" + +"Didn't I?--to be sure I did--and upon my word, Val, he's a credit to +the horse he rides, as the horse is to him--a comely couple they are in +truth. But, Val, or neighbor Val, as I now may call you, don't you think +it would be better to wind up this business now that our hand's in for +it? Let us hear what you'll do, and I'll follow you on my part, for +there's no use in losing time about it--upon my credit there's not." + +"What would you think, then, of the farm we're in now--that is, the +O'Hagan property, as you call it? Suppose I gave him that, what will +you come down with for the girl? I know it can't be under three +hundred--come, say three hundred, and it's a match." + +"Three hundred! Oh! Val, you're too soft--too moderate--too mild--indeed +you are--why three hundred would be nothing against the O'Hagan +property, as you call it--and, indeed, I don't intend to put my daughter +off under five hundred, and that's nearly double what three is--eh, Val, +what do you say, upon your credit now?" + +"Faith, I'll not quarrel with you if you make it six or eight." + +"Well now," said M'Loughlin, rising up, whilst his honest features were +lit with indignation, "this joke or this impudence on your part, has +gone far enough--listen to me. What did I or my family do, I ask my +own conscience in the name of God--what sin did we commit--whom did we +oppress--whom did we rob--whom did we persecute--that a scoundrel like +you, the bastard spawn of an unprincipled profligate, remarkable only +for drunkenness, debauchery, and blasphemy--what, I say, did I and my +family do, that you, his son, who were, and are to this day, the low, +mean, willing scourge of every oppressor, the agent of their crimes--the +instrument of their villianies--you who undermined the honest man--who +sold and betrayed the poor man--who deceived and misled the widow and +her orphans, and rose upon their ruin--who have robbed your employers +as well as those you were employed against--a double traitor--steeped in +treachery, and perjured a thousand times to the core of your black and +deceitful heart--what crime, I say again, did I or mine commit--that +we, whose name and blood has been without a stain for a thousand years, +should suffer the insult that you now have offered Us--eh, look me in +the face now if you can, and answer me if you are able?" + +M'Cloughlin as he concluded, calmly folded his arms, and looked at his +companion resolutely but sternly. The other, to do him justice, did +certainly raise his head, and fix his evil eye upon him for a moment--it +dropped after a single glance; in truth, he quailed before M'Loughlin; +his upper lip, as usual, quivered--his brow lowered, and looked black as +midnight, whilst all the rest of his face became the color of ashes. +In fact, that white smile, which is known to be the very emblem of +cowardice and revenge, sat upon his countenance, stamping upon it at +once the character of the spectre and the demon--a being to be both +feared and hated. + +"Well, Brian M'Loughlin," returned the other, "hear me." + +"Don't dare to Brian me, sir," returned M'Loughlin; "I'm a very humble +man, and ought to be an humble man, for I know well what a sinner I +am before God--but for all that, and if it were against even +religion itself--I feel too proud to suffer you to speak to me as you +do--no--don't Brian me, but listen and let me show you what you are, and +what you have been; I can't say what you will be, that does not lie with +any but God." + +"Well," said M'Clutchy, "go on; I now can hear you, and what is more, I +wish to hear you--and whisper--speak your worst." + +It is said, that both cowardice and despair have their courage, and it +would appear from the manner and action of this man, that he now felt +actuated by some vague feeling resembling that which we have described. +He rose up and said, + +"Brian M'Loughlin, do you think I ever can forget this?" + +"What do you mean by that," said M'Loughlin, "look me in the face, I +say, and tell me what you mean by it. I'm a man, and an honest man, and +there's no treachery about me." + +The sternness with which he spoke, made the other quail again. + +"There was little in it," he replied, in a rebuked but cold and +malignant spirit; "I didn't think you were so violent. I bore a great +deal from you this day, Mr. M'Louglin--a great deal, indeed, and so +patiently as I bore it too; upon my credit I did." + +M'Loughlin made no reply, but stamped on the floor, in order to bring up +some person to whom he might pay the reckoning. + +"You need not stamp," said the other, "this is my share of the +reckoning." + +"Your share, no: I told you before, it must not be yours. I wouldn't +have it said, that bit or sup, paid for by your ill-gotten wealth, +should ever cross my lips--no, no." + +The waiter, or rather waitress, a red-haired, barefooted wench, now came +up. + +"Here," said M'Loughlin, "take the refreshments we've had last out of +that, and keep the change to yourself. I have settled what we've had +before, as well as this." + +"And why not allow me to settle for this?" asked M'Clutchy. + +"Because," replied this honest and respectable man, "I could not swallow +a thimbleful of anything paid for by your money; what is it? If I did I +would dream for weeks of all that you have done, or if I didn't dream, +the sorrows and the wrongs of my near relative, Widow O'Hagan and her +family, would prevent me from sleeping; the Kellys that you've driven to +beggary--The Gormleys that you got put out--good God! and who now holds +their places? Your own cousin. It's useless, however, to mention all +you've done. You, Val the Vulture, as the people call you, are one of +those scourges that rise and flourish upon the distresses of the poor, +and the injustice that you yourself bring upon them by your falsehood +and calumny; and all because the property they live on is neglected by +those who have a right to look after it. Ay, there is another of your +white and cowardly laughs. Well, you know that there is not a neglected +estate in the country but can produce another vulture like yourself, +playing the same heartless pranks upon the poor people--tying, +misrepresenting, swaggering over and robbing them, and that, too, in the +open face of day, merely because you think there is no one to bring you +to an account. + +"Now go home," he added, "and when next you want to get a wife for your +spanking son, that's likely to become a squireen upon our hands, don't +come to Brian M'Loughlin, who knows you from the paring of the nails to +the core of the heart." + +M'Glutchy looked at him and laughed again; "before you go, at all +events," he replied, "I hope you remember the observation I made when I +introduced the discourse." + +"I can't say I do," said M'Loughlin, "but I suppose you will let us hear +it." + +"I will," replied Val, and his brow darkened as before. "It was +this--your farm and mine lie very snugly together--observe, I said, +'_that's what I begin with_'--didn't I say that?" + +"You did, and now what else do you say?" + +"The very same thing--that _your farm, and mine lie snugly +together_--and mark me, Mr. M'Loughlin--" + +"I do--oh, upon my credit I do--ha, ha, ha!" + +"Than _that's what I end with_." + +"Ah," replied M'Loughlin indignantly, "you think you have the ball at +your own foot, now that old Topertoe is gone, and his son has made you +his under agent. A nice job indeed it was, that transformed old drunken +Tom Topertoe into Lord Cumber, and made his son, the present Lord, too +proud to live on his own estate. However, I'd be glad to see the honest +man that ever envied the same old Tom his title, when we all know that +he got it for selling his country. As for you, Vulture, I defy and +despise you; when my rent's due, thank God I am able to pay it, so you +may do your worst. While Mr. Hickman's over you, the tenants have some +protection, in spite of your villainy, you unprincipled scoundrel." + +"Our farms lie snugly together, Mr: M'Loughlin, and _that's what I end +with_." + +It was from the town of Castle Cumber, which we have described at the +opening of our narrative, that old Tom Topertoe, a squire of the true +Irish kidney, took his title. Topertoe, or Lord Castle Cumber, as we +must now call him, like many others, had the high honor of being a Union +Lord--that, is to say his attachment to his principles was so steady, +that he did not hesitate to sell his country for a title, and we may +add, something besides. It is not our intention, at this distance of +time, to discuss the merits of either the union or its repeal; but in +justice to truth and honor, or, perhaps, we should rather say, fraud and +profligacy, we are constrained to admit, that there is not to be found +in the annals of all history, any political negotiation based upon such +rank and festering corruption, as was the legislative union. Had the +motives which actuated the English government towards this country been +pure, and influenced by principles of equality and common justice, they +would never have had recourse to such unparalleled profligacy. This is +self-evident, for those who seek an honorable end will scorn to obtain +it by foul and dishonorable means. The conduct of England, therefore, in +this base and shameless traffic, is certainly a _prima face_ evidence +of her ultimate policy--a policy blacker in the very simplicity of its +iniquity than its worst enemies can paint it, and so obvious in its +character, that we question whether a man could be found, of ordinary +information, belonging to any party, capable at this moment of +deliberately and conscientiously defending it, so far as pertains to +this transaction. But enough of this. + +Before the union, old Topertoe was master of three votes--that is, he +sat himself for the county, and returned members for two boroughs. He +was known by the sobriquet of Pater Noster Tom--not from any disposition +to devotion; but because, whether in parliament, on the hustings, or, +indeed, anywhere else, he never made a speech longer than the Lord's +Prayer. And yet, short as it was, it generally puzzled the shrewdest +and most sagacious of his audience to understand it. Still, though not +without his faults, he was by no means a bad landlord, as landlords +went. 'Tis true he was fond of his wine and of his wench--as a proof of +which, it was well known that he seldom or ever went to,bed with less +than four or five bottles under his belt; and as touching the latter, +that he had two agents in pay to cater for his passions. In both these +propensities he was certainly countenanced by the usages and moral +habits of the times; and the truth is, he grew rather popular than +otherwise, precisely on account of them. He was bluff, boisterous, and +not ill-natured--one of that bygone class who would horsewhip a tenant +to-day and fight a duel for him to-morrow. Above all things, he resided +on his estate, knew all his tenantry by name and person, and contracted, +by degrees, a kind of anomalous attachment for them, merely because they +were his property, and voted and fought for him at elections, and +often fought with him touching their relative positions of landlord and +tenant. Indeed, we question whether he would not enter into a quarrel as +readily for a tenant as he would for a favorite dog or horse; and we are +inclined to think, that to do him justice, he laid nearly as much value +on the one as on the other--a circumstance which we dare say several of +our modern landlords, both resident and absentee, will consider as, on +our part, a good-humored stretch of fiction. + +His speech at elections absolutely became a proverb in the country; and, +indeed, when we remember the good-natured license of the times, as +many still may, together with the singular blending of generosity +and violence, horsewhipping and protection, mirth and mischief which +characterized the bearing of such men as Topertoe, we are fain to think, +to vary the proverb a little, that he might have spoken more and fared +worse. + +"Here I am again, ye blaggards; your own ould Topertoe, that never had +a day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it. Damn your bloods, ye +affectionate rascals, sure you love me, and I love you, and 't isn't +Gully Preston (his opponent) that can cut our loves in two. No, boys, +he's not the blade to do that, at any rate! Hurra then, ye vagabones; +ould Tom Topertoe for ever! He loves his bottle and his wench, and will +make any rascal quiver on a daisy that would dare to say bow to your +blankets. Now, Gully Preston, make a speech--if you can! Hurra for Tom +Topertoe, that never had a day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it! +and don't listen to Gully Preston, boys! Hurra!" + +This speech, from which he never varied, was waited for at elections +with a vehemence of mirth and a force of popularity which no eloquence +brought against him could withstand. Indeed, it was perfectly well known +that it alone returned him, for when upon an occasion of considerable +doubt and difficulty, the two parties of the county having been +considered as equally balanced, he was advised by some foolish +friend, or enemy in disguise, to address them in a serious speech, the +consequences were near proving disastrous to his interests. When +he commenced--"Gentlemen--upon an occasion of such important +difficulty"--there was for about a quarter of a minute a dead +silence--that of astonishment--Topertoe, however, who had stuck fast, +was obliged to commence again---"Gentlemen--upon an occasion, of +such--" but it would not do, the groaning, shouting, hooting, and +yelling, were deafening for some minutes, much to the gratification of +his opponent. At length there was something like a pause, and several +voices shouted out--"what the divil do you mane, Tom?" "He's showin' +the garran bane at last," shouted another--"desartin' his colors!"--"oh! +we're gintlemen now it seems, an' not his own blaggards, as we used to +be--Tiper-to'e's vagabones that stood by him--oh no! Tom, to hell wid +you and your gintlemen--three cheers for Gully Preston!" + +Tom saw it was nearly over with him, and Preston's hopes ran high. +"Aisy, boys," said the other, resuming his old, and, indeed, his natural +manner--"Aisy, ye vagabones--Topertoe's ould speech for ever! Here I am +again, ye blaggards, that never had a day's illness but the gout, +bad luck to it!" &c, &c. This was enough, the old feeling of fun and +attachment kindled up--the multitude joined him in his speech, precisely +as a popular singer is joined by the gods of the upper gallery in +some favorite air, and no sooner was it concluded, than the cheering, +throwing up of hats, and huzzaing, gave ample proof that he had +completely recovered his lost ground, and set himself right with the +people. + +Such is a brief of old Topertoe, the first Lord of Castle Cumber, who, +by the way, did not wear his honors long, the gout, to which he was a +martyr, having taken him from under his coronet before he had it a year +on his brow. He was one of the men peculiar to his times, or rather who +aided in shaping them; easy, full of strong but gross impulses, quick +and outrageous in resentment, but possessed of broad uncouth humor, and +a sudden oblivion of his passion. Without reading or education--he was +coarse, sensual, careless, and extravagant, having no stronger or purer +principle to regulate him than that which originated in his passions +or his necessities. Of shame or moral sanction he knew nothing, and +consequently held himself amenable to the world on two points only--the +laws of duelling and those of gaming. He would take an insult from no +man, and always paid his gambling debts with honor; but beyond that, he +neither feared nor cared for anything in this world--and being a member +of the Hellfire Club, he did not believe in the other. In fact he was +the very man on whose peculiar temperament and character a corrupt and +wily politician might expect to impress his own principles with success. +Topertoe was consequently not only the very man to sell his country, but +to sell, it at the highest price, and be afterwards the first to laugh, +as he did, at his own corruption. + +Of his eldest son, who of course succeeded to his rank and property, +there is not so much to be said at present, because he will appear, to +some extent, as an actor in our drama. It is enough then to say here +that he inherited his father's vices, purged of their vulgarity and +grossness, without a single particle of his uncertain and capricious +good nature. In his manners he appeared more of the gentleman; was +lively, shallow, and versatile; but having been educated at an English +school and an English college, he felt, or affected to feel, all the +fashionable prejudices of the day and of his class against his native +country. He was an absentee from both pride and inclination, and it is +not surprising then that he knew but little of Ireland, and that little +was strongly to its disadvantage. + +Another brother there was, whose unpretending character requires little +else than merely that he should be named. The honorable Alexander +Topertoe, who was also educated in England, from the moment his father +stained what he conceived to be the honor of their family by receiving a +title and twenty thousand pounds, as a bribe for his three votes against +a native parliament--hung his head in mortification and shame, and +having experienced at all times little else than neglect from his father +and brother, he hurried soon afterwards to the continent with a heavy +heart and a light purse, where for the present we must leave him. + + + + +CHAPTER II.--Birth and Origin of Mr. M'Clutchy + +Christian Forgiveness--Mr. Hickman, the Head Agent--Darby O'Drive, the +Bailiff--And an Instructive Dialogue. + + +Time, which passes with a slow but certain pace, had already crept twice +around his yearly circle since the fair already described in the town +of Castle Cumber. The lapse of three years, however, had made no change +whatsoever in the heart or principles of Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, +although he had on his external manner and bearing. He now assumed more +of the gentleman, and endeavored to impress himself upon those who came +in contact with him, as a person of great authority and importance. +One morning after the period just mentioned had! elapsed, he and his +graceful son, "Mister Phil," were sitting in the parlor of Constitution +Cottage, for so they were pleased to designate a house which had no +pretension whatever to that unpretending appellation. + +"So father," said Phil, "you don't forget that such was the treatment +M'Loughlin gave you!" + +"Why, I remember it, Phil; but you know, Phil, I'm a patient and a +forgiving man notwithstanding; you know that Phil;--ha, ha, ha!" + +"That was certainly the worst case came across us yet," replied the son, +"none of the rest ventured to go so far, even when you had less power +than you have now." + +"I didn't tell you all, Phil," continued the father, following up the +same train of thought. + +"And why not," said Phil, "why should you conceal anything from me?" + +"Because," replied the other, "I think you have heard enough for the +present." + +The fact was, that M'Clutchy's consciousness of the truth contained +in M'Loughlin's indignant reproaches, was such as prevented him from +repeating them, even to his son, knowing right well that had he done +so they could not exactly have looked each other in the face without +sensations regarding their own conduct, which neither of them wished to +avow. There is a hypocrisy in villainy sometimes so deep that it cannot +bear to repeat its own iniquity, even in the presence of those who are +aware of it, and in this predicament stood Valentine M'Clutchy. + +"Maybe he has relented," said Phil, "or that he will give me his pretty +daughter yet--and you know they have the cash. The linen manufactory of +M'Loughlin and Harman is flourishing." + +"No, no, Phil," replied the father, "you must give her up--that's +past--but no matter, I'll forgive him." + +Phil looked at him and smiled. "Come, come, father," said he, "be +original--that last is a touch of M'Slime--of honest Solomon. Keep back +the forgiveness yet awhile, may be they may come round--begad, and upon +my honor and reputation, I shouldn't wish to lose the girl--no, father, +don't forgive them yet awhile." + +"Phil, we'll do better for you, boy--don't be a fool, I say, but have +sense--I tell you what, Phil," continued his father, and his face +assumed a ghastly, deadly look, at once dark and pallid, "listen to +me;--I'll forgive him, Phil, until the nettle, the chick-weed, the +burdock, the fulsome preshagh, the black fungus, the slimiest weed that +grows--aye, till the green mould of ruin itself, grows upon the spot +that is now his hearth--till the winter rain beats into, and the whiter +wind howls over it." + +"No marriage, then," said Phil. "No marriage; but what keeps Darby +O'Drive? the rascal should have been here before--oh no," said he, +looking at his watch, "he has better than half an hour yet." + +"What steps do you intend to take, father?" + +"Phil, when I'm prepared, you shall know them. In the meantime leave +me--I must write to M'Slime, or send to him. M'Slime's useful at a hint +or suggestion, but, with all his wiliness and hypocrisy, not capable of +carrying a difficult matter successfully out; he overdoes everything by +too much caution, and consequently gets himself into ridiculous scrapes, +besides I cannot and will not place full confidence in him. He is too +oily, and cants too much, to be trusted; I think, still, we may use him +and overreach him into the bargain. Are you going into Castle Cumber?" + +"I am." + +"Well, drop these couple of letters in the post office, and tell Rankin +he must have the Garts finished by Monday next, at the farthest, or it +will be worse for him. By the way, I have that fellow in my eye too--he +had the assurance to tell me the other day, that he could not possibly +undertake the carts until he had M'Loughlin's job at the manufactory +finished. Off with you now, I see O'Drive and Hanlon coming up." + +Graceful Phil in a few minutes was mounted in his usual lofty state on +"Handsome Harry," and dashed off to Castle Cumber. + +It may not be improper here, before we proceed farther, to give the +reader some additional knowledge of the parentage and personal history +of Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, as well as a brief statement concerning the +Castle Cumber property, and the gentleman who acted in the capacity of +head agent. + +The mother, then, of Valentine M'Clutchy, or as he was more generally +called Val the Vulture, was daughter to the county goaler, Christie +Clank by name, who had risen regularly through all the gradations of +office, until the power of promotion could no farther go. His daughter, +Kate Clank, was a celebrated beauty, and enjoyed a considerable extent +of local reputation, independently of being a great favorite with the +junior portion of the grand jury. Among the latter, however, there was +one, a young squire of very libertine principles, named Deaker, whose +suit to the fair Miss Clank proved more successful than those of his +competitors, and the consequence was the appearance of young Val. The +reader, therefore, already perceives that M'Clutchy's real name was +Deaker; but perhaps he is not aware that, in the times of which we +write, it was usual for young unmarried men of wealth not to suffer +their illegitimate children to be named after them. There were, indeed, +many reasons for this. In the first place, the mere fact of assuming the +true name, was a standing argument of the father's profligacy. Secondly, +the morals of the class and the period were so licentious, that the +legitimate portion of a family did not like to be either outnumbered or +insulted by their namesakes and illegitimate relatives, almost at +every turn of the public roads. In the third place, a young man of +this description could not, when seeking for a wife, feel the slightest +inclination to have a living catalogue of his immoralities enumerated +to her, under the names of Tom, or Dick, or Val so and so, all his +children. This, of course, was an involuntary respect paid to modesty, +and perhaps the strongest argument for suppressing the true name. The +practice, however, was by no means universal; but in frequent instances +it existed, and Val the Vulture's was one of them. He was named after +neither father or mother, but after his grandmother, by the gaoler's +side. Deaker would not suffer his name to be assumed; and so far as +his mother was concerned, the general tenor of her life rendered the +reminiscence of her's anything but creditable to her offspring. With +respect to his education, Val's gratitude was principally due to his +grandfather Clank, who had him well instructed. He himself, from the +beginning, was shrewd, clever, and intelligent, and possessed the power, +in a singular degree, of adapting himself to his society, whenever he +felt it his interest to do so. He could, indeed, raise or depress his +manners in a very surprising degree, and with an effort that often +occasioned astonishment. On the other hand, he was rapacious, +unscrupulous, cowardly, and so vindictive, that he was never known to +forgive an injury. These are qualities to which, when you add natural +adroitness and talent, you have such a character as has too frequently +impressed itself, with something like the agreeable sensations produced +by a red hot burning iron, upon the distresses, fears, and necessities +of the Irish people. + +M'Clutchy rose from the humble office of process-server to that of +bailiff's follower, bailiff, head-bailiff, barony constable, until, +finally, he felt himself a kind of factotum on the Castle Cumber +property; and in proportion as he rose, so did his manners rise with +him. For years before his introduction to our readers, he was the +practical manager of the estate; and so judiciously did he regulate +his own fortunes on it, that without any shameless or illegal breach of +honesty, he actually contrived to become a wealthy man, and to live in +a respectable manner. Much, however, will have more, and Val was +rapacious. On finding himself comparatively independent, he began to +take more enlarged, but still very cautious measures to secure some of +the good things of the estate to him and his. This he was the better +able to do, as he had, by the apparent candor of his manner, completely +wormed himself into the full confidence of the head agent--a gentleman +of high honor and integrity, remarkable alike for humanity and +benevolence; but utterly without suspicion. Two or three farms, whose +leases dropped, he most iniquitously took into his own hands, and so +far wheedled the agent, that he induced that gentleman to think he was +rendering a service to the property by doing so. The tenantry now +began to murmur--a complaint came here, and another there--here was an +instance of private and disguised oppression; and this was followed by +a, vindictive attempt to injure either the property or character of some +one who had the courage to tell him what he thought of his conduct. + +Val apprehending that he might be out-borne by too powerful a mass +of testimony, contrived just then, through his misrepresentations to the +agent, who still confided in him, and by the political influence of +his father, the squire, who was the landlord's strongest electioneering +supporter in the county, to get himself formally appointed under-agent. +Feeling now quite confident in his strength, and that his hold on the +prejudices, and, we may add, the ignorance of the absentee landlord, was +as strong, if not stronger than those of the agent himself, he began +to give a greater and less guarded scope to his natural principles. +Mr. Hickman, the agent, had been strongly disgusted by the political +profligacy with which the union was carried; and had, on more than one +occasion, intimated a doubt whether, as an honest man, he could render +political support to any one who had participated in its corruption or +recognized the justice of those principles on which it had been +carried. All this gave M'Clutchy that imperturbable insolence which is +inseparable from petty tyranny and licensed extortion. Day after day did +his character come out in all its natural deformity. The outcry against +him was not now confined to this portion of the property, or that--it +became pretty general; and, perhaps, at the time we have brought him on +the stage, there was not a man in Ireland, holding the situation he did, +who was more feared and more detested. + +Some time previous to this, however, Hickman's eyes were opened to his +undisguised character, and what he could do he did. On finding that the +Vulture was reviving all the oppressive usages with which property +in Ireland is so penally taxed, he immediately gave orders that such +exactions should be discontinued by M'Clutchy, and resisted by the +tenants. In spite of all this, however, there were upon the property +many timid persons, who, dreading his malignity of purpose, still +continued to yield to his avarice and rapacity, that which nothing else +but a dread of his vengeance could extort from them. Thus did he feather +his nest at the expense of their terrors. + +Hickman, who had also been agent to old Topertoe, felt a kind of +personal attachment to that good-humored reprobate, so long as he +believed him to be honest. Old Tom's venality, however, at the union, +made him rather sick of the connection, and the conduct, or rather +expensive profligacy of the young absentee Lord, rendered his situation, +as an honest and humane agent, one of great pain to himself, considering +his position between landlord and tenant. + +He knew besides, that many men of his class had taken most scandalous +advantages of the embarrassments which their dishonesty had occasioned +in the affairs of their employers, and lent them their own rents in the +moments of distress, in order to get a lien on their property. For this +reason, and out of a feeling of honor and self-respect, Mr. Hickman had +made it a point of principle to lend the young Lord, no money under any +circumstances. As far as he could legitimately, and within the ordinary +calculations of humanity, feed Lord Cumber's prodigality of expenditure +he did it. This, however, was not exactly the kind of agent which his +lordship wanted, and however highly he respected, and honored him, still +that direful word necessity goaded him into a forgetfulness of his own +real interests, and of what was due to Hickman. He wanted an agent +with less feeling, less scruple, less independence, and more of that +accommodating principle which would yield itself to, and go down with, +the impetuous current of his offensive vices, and satisfy their cravings +even at his own ruin. Such, then, was M'Clutchy--such the position of +Mr. Hickman, the agent--and such the general state of the Castle Cumber +property. As to the principles and necessities of its proprietor, if +they are not already known, we may assure our readers that they soon +will be. + +Constitution Cottage, M'Clutchy's residence, was, in fact, no cottage at +all, as we have said, but a very respectable house, and of considerable +size. Attached to it was an extensive yard and office houses, an +excellent garden, orchard, pigeon house, and everything, in fact, that +could constitute substantial comfort and convenience. It was situated +beside a small clump of old beeches, that sheltered it from the +north--to the front lay, at a few miles distance, a range of fine +mountains--and between them stretched as rich a valley, both in +fertility and beauty, as the eye of man could rest upon. The ground +before the door fell by an easy and gradual descent, until a little +further down it reached a green expanse of level meadow, through which +a clear river wound its lingering course, as if loth to pass away from +between the rich and grassy banks that enclosed it. It was, in fact, a +spot of that calm and perfectly rural character which draws the heart +unconsciously to the secret charm that rests upon it, and which even the +casual traveler leaves behind him with regret. Some improvements were +at the present time in an incipient state--such as plantations--garden +walls--and what seemed the lines of an avenue, or approach to the house, +which, by the way, stood in the centre of a farm that consisted of about +eighty Irish acres. + +At length a single knock came, which was given by O'Drive, for Hanlon, +who was his assistant, durst not attempt such a thing in his presence; +and if ever a knock conveyed the duplicity of the man who gave it, that +did. Though, as we said, but a single one, yet there was no mistaking +its double meaning. It was impudent and servile; it was impudent, as +much as to say to the servants, "why don't you open the door quickly for +a man who is so deep in your master's confidence as I am?" while to that +master himself, it said, or seemed to say, "I am your creature, your +instrument, your slave, ready to execute any oppression, any hardship, +or villainy, on which you can employ me." + +It is said, and we believe with truth, that in military life no officer +is so severe and oppressive as he who has risen from the ranks, and been +most obsequious there. We do not doubt it, for the principle is a strong +one in human nature, and is by no means confined to either the army or +navy. At all events,'shuffling, and cringing, and slinking Darby O'Drive +presented himself to Val the Vulture. There was a downcast, cowardly, +shy, uneasy, expression in his blank, straggling features, that seemed +to say, for God's sake spare my very life--don't annihilate me--here +I am--you see through me--heart, spirit, and soul--body, lungs, and +lights--could I tell _you_ a lie? No. Could I deceive you--such a man as +you, that can look through me as if I was a lanthorn, or a pane of +glass without a bull's eye in it. No! only let me live and I'll do your +bidding. + +"Well," said Val, in a sharp, imperious;one, "you're punctual for a +wonder." + +"God be praised for that," replied Darby, wiping the top of his nose +with the finger and thumb of an old mitten, "heaven be praised that I'm +not late." + +"Hold your damned canting, tongue, you knave, what place is this for +it?" + +"Knave! well I am then." + +"Yes, you know you are--you are all knaves--every bailiff is a +knave--ahem--unless, indeed, one in a thousand." + +"It's truth, indeed, plaise your honor." + +"Not but there's worse than you after all, and be damned to you." + +"An' betther, sir, too, i' you please, for sure, God help me, I'm not +what I ought to be." + +"Well, mend then, why don't you? for you want it. Come now, no jaw, I +tell you, but answer me what I am about to ask you; not a word now." + +"Well, no then, plaise your honor, I won't in throth." + +"Did you warn the townland of Ballymackscud?" + +"Yis, plaise your honor." + +"Are they ready--have they the rent?" + +"Only some o' them, sir,--an other some is axin' for time, the thieves." + +"Who are asking for time?" + +"Why the O'Shaughrans, sir--hopin', indeed, that your honor will let +them wait till the markets rises, an not be forced to sell the grain +whin the prices is so low now that it would ridin them--but it's +wondherful the onraisonableness of some people. Says I, 'his honor, Mr. +M'Clutchy, is only doin' his duty; but a betther hearted or a kinder man +never bruk the world's bread than he is to them that desarves it at +his hands;' so, sir, they began to--but--well, well, it's no matther--I +tould them they were wrong--made it plain to them--but they wouldn't be +convinced, say what I might." + +"Why, what did they say, were they abusing me--I suppose so?" + +"Och! the poor sowls, sure it was only ignorance and foolishness on +their part--onraisonable cratures all or most of them is." + +"Let me know at once what they said, you knave, or upon my honor and +soul I'll turn you out of the room and bring in Hanlon." + +"Plaise your honor, he wasn't present--I left him outside, in regard +that I didn't think he was fit to be trust--a safe with--no matther, +'twas for a raison I had." He gave a look at M'Clutchy as he spoke, +compounded of such far and distant cunning, scarcely perceptible--and +such obvious, yet retreating cowardice, scarcely perceptible also---that +no language could convey any notion of it. + +"Ah!" said Val, "you are a neat lad--but go on--what did they say, for I +must have it out of you." + +"That I may die in happiness, your honor, but I'm afeard to tell +you--but, sure, if you'd give your promise, sir--your bright word of +honor, that you'd not pay me off for it, I'll tell you." + +"Ah! you d----d crawling reptile, out with it--I won't pay you off." + +[Illustration: PAGE 142-- there's as many curses before you in hell] + +"Well, then, here it is--oh! the curse o' Cromwell on them this day, +for an ungrateful pack! they said, your honor, that--bad luck to them I +pray--that there wasn't so black-hearted a scoundrel on the face of the +airth as your four quarthers--that the gallows is gapin' for you--and +that there's as many curses before you in hell as 'ud blisther a +griddle." + +M'Clutchy's face assumed its usual expression of diabolical malignity, +whilst, at the same time, he gave a look so piercing at Darby, as if +suspecting that the curse, from its peculiar character, was at least +partially his own invention,--that the latter, who stood like a +criminal, looking towards the floor, felt precisely what was going +forward in the other's mind, and knew that he had nothing else for +it but to look him steadily in the face, as a mark of his perfect +innocence. Gradually, therefore, and slowly he raised his small gray +eyes until they met those of M'Clutchy, and thus the gaze continued +for nearly a minute between them, and that with such steadiness on both +sides, that they resembled a mesmeric doctor and his patient, rather +than anything else to which we could compare them. On the part of +M'Clutchy the gaze was that of an inquisitor looking into the heart of +him whom he suspected; on that of Darby, the eye, unconscious of evil, +betrayed nothing but the purest simplicity and candor. + +And yet, when we consider that Darby most unquestionably did not only +ornament, but give peculiar point to the opinions expressed by the +tenantry against the Vulture, perhaps we ought to acknowledge that of +the two he possessed a larger share of histrionic talent. + +At length M'Clutchy, whose eye, for reasons with which the reader is +already acquainted, was never either a firm or a steady one, removed it +from Darby, who nevertheless followed it with a simple but pertinacious +look, as much as to say, I have told you truth, and am now waiting your +leisure to proceed. + +"What do you stare at?" said M'Clutchy, strongly disposed to vent his +malignity on the next object to him; "and, you beggarly scoundrel, what +did you say to that? Tell me, or I'll heave you, head foremost, through +the window?" + +"Why," replied Darby, in a quiet, confident, and insinuating tone, "I +raisoned wid them--raisoned wid them like a Christian. 'Now, Sheemus +O'Shaughran,' says I, 'you've said what I know to be a lie. I'm not the +man to put ill between you and his honor, Mr. M'Clutchy, but at the same +time,' says I, 'I'm his sarvint, and as an honest man I must do my duty. +I don't intend to mintion a syllable of what you said this day; but as +his sarvint, and gettin' bread through him, and undher him, I can't, nor +I won't, suffer his honor to be backbitten before his own face--for it's +next to that. Now,' says I, 'be guided by me, and all will be right. In +the first place, you know, he's entitled to _duty-fowl_*--in the next +place, he's entitled to _duty-work_.' 'Ay, the landlord is,' said they, +'but not the Vul----' 'Whisht,' says I, in a friendly whisper, puttin' +my hand across Dan's mouth, an' winkin' both my eyes at him; 'send his +honor down a pair of them fine fat turkeys--I know his honor's fond +o' them; but that's not all,' says I--'do you wish to have a friend in +coort? I know you do. Well and good--he's drawing gravel to make a new +avenue early next week, so, Sheemus O'Shaughran, if you wish to have +two friends in coort--a great one and a little one'--manin' myself, God +pardon me, for the little one, your honor--'you will,' says I 'early on +next Monday mornin', send down a pair of horses and carts, and give him +a week's duty work. Then,' says I, 'lave the rest to _somebody_, for I +won't name names.'--No, your honor, I did'nt bring Hanlon in.--By the +same token, as a proof of it, there's young Bandy Shaughran, the son, +wid a turkey under aich arm, comin'up to the hall door." + + * These were iniquitous exactions, racked from the poor + tenantry by the old landlords or their agents. + +"Well," proceeded M'Clutchy, without a single observation, "did you call +on the Slevins?" + +"Yes, sir; they're ready." + +"The Magonnels?" + +"Not ready, sir; but a pair of geese, and two men on next Thursday and +Saturday. On Friday they must go to market to buy two _slips_." (* young +pigs). + +"Widow Gaffney?" + +"Not ready, sir; but that I may never die in sin, a 'cute shaver." + +"Why so--what did she say?" + +"Oh, Mr. Hickman, sir, the head agent, your honor; that's the go. +Throth, the same Mr. Hickman is--but, God forbid, sir, I'd spake a word +against the absent; but any way, he's a good round thrifle, one way or +the other, out of your pocket, from Jinny-warry to December." + +"Darby, my good man, and most impertinent scoundrel, if you wish +to retain your present situation, never open your lips against that +excellent gentleman, Mr. Hickman. Mark my words--out you go, if I ever +discover that you mention him with disrespect." + +"Well, I won't then; and God forgive me for spakin' the truth--when it's +not right." + +"Did you see the Mulhollands?" + +"Mr. Hickman again, sir, an' bad luck to---- Beg pardon, sir, I forgot. +Throth, sir, when I mentioned the duty work an' the new aveny, they +whistled at you." + +"Whistled at me!" + +"Yes, sir; an' said that Mr. Hickman tould them to give you neither duty +fowl nor duty work, but to do their own business, and let you do yours. +Ay, and 'twas the same from all the rest." + +"Well," said Val, going to the window and looking abroad for a minute +or two,--"well--so much for Ballymackscud; now for its next neighbor, +Ballymackfud." + +"Mr. Hickman again, sir. The divil sweep the same Hickman, any way," +said Darby, in an aside, which he knew the other could easily hear. "Out +of the whole townland, sir, all I got was two men for the aveny--a goose +from Barney Scadden, and her last ten, along wid half-a-dozen eggs, from +that dacent creature, widow M'Murt. Throth four fine little clildre she +has, if they had anything on them, or anything to keep body and sowl +together." + +"You warned them all, of course?" + +"Every sowl in the townland of Ballymackt 'ud; and there's the upshot. +But it's all Mr. Hickman, sir; for he tould them--'I will have none of +this work,' says he; 'the tenants musn't be harrished and fleeshed +in this manner,' says he. Yes, your honor, that's the upshot from +Ballymackfud--two day's work--a sick goose (for I disremembered +to mention that Barney said, wid a wink, that she'd require great +attintion, as she was in a delicate state of health)--one ould hen, and +a half-a-dozen eggs; which wouldn't be the case, only for Hickman--not +but he's a very respectable gentleman--by all accounts." + +"I told you before, sirra, that I will have nothing offensive to him +mentioned in my presence. Give this letter to Mr. M'Slime, and bring me +an answer as soon as you can. Will you have a glass of spirits?" + +"Would it be intherfairin' wid my duty, sir?" + +"If you think so, don't take it; you ought to know best." + +"Well, then, for this one time, in regard of a _Lhin-roe_* or the red +wather in my stomach, I'll try it. I drank bog-bine last night goin' to +bed, but divil a morsel o' good it did me." + + * Lhin-roe, or red water--the Irish name for heart-burn. + +M'Clutchy handed him a full glass, which he held steadily before his +eye, till the other put up the decanter. + +"Your honor's health, sir," said he, "and fireside; and if you war to +throw me out o' fifty windies, I'll add to that--here's wishin' that the +divil had his own, and I know where you'd soon be." + +"How, you villainous scoundrel," said Val, starting with rising wrath, +"what do you mean by that?" + +Darby made no reply, but hastily tossing off the glass, he seized his +hat, bolted outside the door, and putting in his head, said in a kind of +loud but confidential whisper-- + +"IN HICKMAN'S PLACE, your honor!" + + + + +CHAPTER III.--Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney + +--Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney--His Office--Family +Devotions--Substitute for Breakfast--Misprision Blasphemy--Letter on +Business. + + +Pass we now to another worthy character, who had locality upon the +aforesaid property of Castle Cumber. Solomon M'Slime, the law agent, was +a satisfactory proof of the ease with which religion and law may meet +and aid each other in the heart and spirit of the same person. An +attorney, no doubt, is at all times an amiable, honest, and feeling +individual, simply upon professional principles; but when to all this is +added the benignant influence of serious and decided piety, it would not +be an easy task to find, among the several classes which compose society +in general, anything so truly engaging, so morally taintless, so sweetly +sanctimonious, so seductively comely, as is that pure and evengelical +exhibition of human character, that is found to be developed in a +religious attorney. + +Solomon M'Slime was a man in whose heart the two principles kept their +constant residence; indeed so beautifully were they blended, that his +law might frequently be mistaken for religion, just as his religion, +on the other hand, was often known to smack strongly of law. In this +excellent man, these principles accommodated each with a benignant +indulgence, that manifested the beauty of holiness in a high degree. +If, for instance, law in its progress presented to him any obstacle of +doubtful morality, religion came forward with a sweet but serious smile, +and said to her companion, "My dear friend, or sister, in this case I +permit you." And on the contrary, if religion felt over sensitive or +scrupulous, law had fifty arguments of safety, and precedent, and +high authority to justify her. But, indeed, we may observe, that in +a religious attorney these illiberal scruples do not often occur. +Mr. M'Slime knew the advantages of religion too well, to feel that +contraction of the mind and principles, which in so many ordinary cases +occasions religion and common morality to become almost identical. +Religion was to him a friend--a patroness in whose graces he stood so +high, that she permitted him to do many things which those who were more +estranged from her durst not attempt. He enjoyed that state of blessed +freedom which is accorded to so few, and, consequently, had his +"permissions" and his "privileges" to go in the wicked wayfares of this +trying world much greater lengths than those, who were less gifted +and favored by the sweet and consoling principle which regulated and +beautified his life. + +Solomon was a small man, thin, sharp-featured, and solemn. He was +deliberate in his manner and movements, and correct but slow of speech. +Though solemn, however, he was not at all severe or querulous, as is too +frequently the case with those who affect to be religious. Far from it. +On the contrary, in him the gospel gifts appeared in a cheerful gravity +of disposition, and a good-humored lubricity of temper, that could turn +with equal flexibility and suavity to every incident of life, no matter +how trying to the erring heart. All the hinges of his spirit seemed to +have been graciously and abundantly oiled, and such was his serenity, +that it was quite evident he had a light within him. It was truly a +pleasure to speak to, or transact business with such a man; he seemed +always so full of inward peace, and comfort, and happiness. Nay, upon +some occasions, he could rise to a kind of sanctified facetiousness +that was perfectly delightful, and in the very singleness of his heart, +would, of an odd time, let out, easily and gently it is true, a small +joke, that savored a good deal of secular humor. + +Then he was so full of charity and affection for all that were frail and +erring among our kind, that he never, or seldom, breathed a harsh word +against the offender. Or if, in the fulness of his benevolence, he found +it necessary to enumerate their faults, and place them, as it were, in +a catalogue, it was done in a spirit of such love, mingled with sorrow, +that those to whom he addressed himself, often thought it a pity that he +himself did not honor religion, by becoming the offender, simply for the +sake of afterwards becoming the patient. + +In the religious world he was a very active and prominent man--punctual +in his devotional exercises, and always on the lookout for some of those +unfortunate brands with which society abounds, that he might, as he +termed it, have the pleasure of plucking them out of the burning. He +never went without a Bible and a variety of tracts in his pocket, and +seldom was missed from the platform of a religious meeting. He received +subscriptions for all public and private charities, and has repeatedly +been known to offer and afford consolation to the widow and orphan, at +a time when the pressure of business rendered the act truly one of +Christian interest and affection. + +The hour was not more than ten o'clock, a.m. when Darby entered his +office, in which, by the way, lay three or four Bibles, in different +places. In a recess on one side of the chimney-piece, stood a +glass-covered bookcase, filled with the usual works on his profession, +whilst hung upon the walls, and consequently nearer observation, +were two or three pensile shelves, on which were to be found a small +collection of religious volumes, tracts, and other productions, all +bearing on the same subject. On the desk was a well-thumbed Bible to the +right, which was that used at family prayer; and on the opposite side, a +religious almanack and a copy of congregation hymns. + +Darby, on reaching the hall door, knocked with considerable more +decision than he had done at M'Clutchy's, but without appearing to have +made himself heard; after waiting patiently for some time, however, +he knocked again, and at length the door was opened by a very pretty +servant girl, about seventeen, who, upon his inquiring if her master +was at home, replied in a sighing voice, and with a demure face, "Oh, +yes--at family prayer." + +"When he's done," said Darby, "maybe you'd be kind enough to say that +Darby O'Drive has a message for him." + +The pretty servant did not nod--an act--which she considered as too +flippant for the solemnity of devotion--but she gently bowed her head, +and closed her eyes in assent--upon which was heard a somewhat cheerful +groan, replete with true unction, inside the parlor, followed by a voice +that said, "ah, Susannah!" pronounced in a tone of grave but placid +remonstrance; Susannah immediately entered, and the voice, which +was that of our attorney, proceeded--"Susannah take your place--long +measure, eight lines, four eights, and two sixes." The psalm was then +raised or pitched by Solomon himself, who was followed by six or +eight others, each in a different key, but all with such reluctance +to approach their leader, that from a principle of unworthiness, they +allowed him, as the more pious, to get far in advance of them. In this +manner they sang two verses, and it was remarkable, that although on +coming to the conclusion, Solomon was far ahead, and the rest nowhere, +yet, from the same principle of unworthiness, they left the finish, as +they did the start, altogether to himself. The psalm was accordingly +wound up by a kind of understanding or accompaniment between his mouth +and nose, which seemed each moved by a zealous but godly struggle to +excel the other, if not in melody at least in loudness. They then +all knelt down, and Solomon launched, with a sonorous voice, into +an extempore prayer, which was accompanied by a solemn commentary of +groanings, sighings, moanings, and muffled ejaculations, that cannot +otherwise be described except by saying that they resembled something +between a screech and a scream. Their devotions being over, Darby, +having delivered M'Clutchy's letter, was desired to take a seat in the +office, until Mr. M'Slime should be at leisure to send a reply. + +"Sit down, my good friend, Darby, sit down, and be at ease, at least in +your body; I do not suffer any one who has an immortal soul to be saved +to stand in my office--and as you have one to be saved, Darby, you must +sit. The pride of this vain life is our besetting sin, and happy are +they who are enabled to overcome it--may he be praised!--sit down." + +"I'm thankful to you, sir," said Darby, "oh, thin, Mr. M'Slime, it would +be well for the world if every attorney in it was like you, sir--there +would be little honesty goin' asthray, sir, if there was." + +"Sam Sharpe, my dear boy, if you have not that bill of costs finished--" + +"No sir." + +"A good boy, Sam--well, do not omit thirteen and four pence for +two letters, which I ought to have sent--as a part of my moral, +independently of my professional duty--to Widow Lenehan, having +explained to her by word of mouth, that which I ought in conscience, +to have written--but indeed my conscience often leads me to the--what +should I say?--the merciful side in these matters. No, Darby, my friend, +you cannot see into my heart, or you would not say so--I am frail, +Darby, and sinful--I am not up to the standard, my friend, neither have +I acted up to my privileges--the freedom of the gospel! is a blessed +thing, provided we abuse it not'--well, Sam, my good young friend--" + +"That was entered before, sir, under the head of instructions." + +"Very right--apparently very right, Sam, and reasonable for you to think +so--but this was on a different occasion, although the same case." + +"Oh, I beg pardon, sir, I did not know that." + +"Sam, do not beg pardon--not of me--nor of any but One--go there, Sam, +you require it; we all require it, at least I do abundantly. Darby, +my friend, it is a principle with me never to lose an opportunity of +throwing in a word in season--but as the affairs of this life must be +attended to--only in a secondary degree, I admit--I will, therefore, +place you at the only true fountain where you can be properly refreshed. +Take this Bible, Darby, and it matters not where you open it, read and +be filled." + +Now, as Darby, in consequence of his early attendance upon M'Clutchy, +had been obliged to leave home that morning without his breakfast, +it must be admitted that he was not just then in the best possible +disposition to draw much edification from it. After poring over it +with a very sombre face for some time, he at length looked shrewdly +at M'Slime closing one eye a little, as was his custom; "I beg pardon, +sir," said he, "but if I'm not mistaken this book I believe is intended +more for the sowl than the body." + +"For the body! truly, Darby, that last is a carnal thought, and I am +sorry to hear, it from your lips:--the Bible is a spiritual book, my +friend, and spiritually must it be received." + +"But, to a man like me, who hasn't had his breakfast to-day yet, how +will it be sarviceable? will reading it keep off hunger or fill my +stomach?" + +"Ah! Darby, my friend, that is gross talk--such views of divine truth +are really a perversion of the gifts of heaven. That book although it +will not fill your stomach, as you grossly call it, actually will do it +figuratively, which in point of fact is the same thing, or a greater--it +will enable you to bear hunger as a dispensation, Darby, to which it is +your duty as a Christian to submit. Nay, it will do more, my friend; it +will exalt your faith to such a divine pitch, that if you read it with +the proper spirit, you will pray that the dispensation thus laid on you +may continue, in order that the inner man may be purged." + +"Faith, and Mr. M'Slime, with great respect, if that is your doctrine +it isn't your practice. The sorra word of prayer--God bless the +prayers!--came out o' your lips today,'an til you laid in a good warm +breakfast, and afther that, for fraid of disappointments, the very first +thing you prayed for was your daily bread--didn't I hear you? But I'll +tell you what, sir, ordher me my breakfast, and then I'll be spakin' to +you. A hungry man--or a hungry woman, or her hungry childre' can't eat +Bibles; although it is well known, God knows, that when hunger, and +famine, and starvation are widin them and upon them, that the same +Bible, but nothing else, is; handed to them by pious people in the shape +of consolation and relief. Now I'm thinkin', Mr. M'Slime, that that is +not the best way to make the Bible respected. Are you goin' to give me +my breakfast, sir? upon my sowl, beggin' your pardon, if you do I'll +bring the Bible home wid me, if that will satisfy you, for we haven't +got e'er a one in our own little cabin." + +"Sharpe, my good boy, I'll trouble you to take that Bible out of his +hands. I am not in the slightest degree offended, Darby--you will yet, +I trust, live to know better, may He grant it! I overlook the misprision +of blasphemy on your part, for you didn't know what you said? but you +will, you will. + +"This is a short reply to Mr. M'Clutchy's note. I shall see him on my +way to the sessions to-morrow, but I have told him so in it. And now, +my friend, be assured I overlook the ungodly and carnal tenor of your +conversation--we are all frail and prone to error; I, at least, am +so--still we must part as Christians ought, Darby. You have asked me +for a breakfast, but I overlook that also--I ought to overlook it as +a Christian; for is not your immortal soul of infinitely greater value +than your perishable body? Undoubtedly--and as a proof that I value it +more, receive this--this, my brother sinner--oh! that I could say my +brother Christian also--receive it, Darby, and in the proper spirit too; +it is a tract written by the Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug, entitled 'Spiritual +Food for Babes of Grace;' I have myself found it graciously consolatory +and refreshing, and I hope that you also may, my friend." + +"Begad, sir," said Darby, "it may be very good in its way, and I've +no doubt but it's a very generous and Christian act in you to give +it--espishilly since it cost you nothing--but for all that, upon my +sowl, I'm strongly of opinion that to a hungry man it's a bad substitute +for a breakfast." + +"Ah! by the way, Darby," lending a deaf ear to this observation, "have +you heard, within the last day or two, anything of Mr. M'Clutchy's +father, Mr. Deaker--how he is?" + +"Why, sir," replied Darby, "I'm tould he's breaking down fast, but the +divil a one of him will give up the lady. Parsons, and ministers, and +even priests, have all been at him; but it is useless: he curses +and damns them right and left, and won't be attended by any one but +her--hadn't you betther try him, Mr. M'Slime? May be you might succeed. +Who knows but a little of the 'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace' +might sarve him as well as others. There's a case for you. Sure he +acknowledges himself to be a member of the hell-fire club!" + +"He's a reprobate, my friend--impenitent, hopeless. I have myself tried +him, spoke with him, reasoned with him, but never was my humility, +my patience, so strongly tried. His language I will not repeat--but +canting knave, hypocrite, rascal attor--no, it is useless and unedifying +to repeat it. Now go, my friend, and do not forget that precious tract +which you have thrust so disrespectfully into your pocket." + +Darby, after a shrewd wink at one of the apprentices, which was +returned, passed out, and left Mr. M'Slime to the pursuit of his +salvation. + +In the mean time, as we authors have peculiar "privileges," as Mr. +M'Slime would say, we think if only due to our readers to let them have +a peep at M'Slime's note to our friend Valentine M'Clutchy. + +"My dear friend--I felt as deep an interest in the purport of your note +as you yourself possibly could. The parties alluded to I appreciate +precisely as you do--M'Loughlin has in the most unchristian manner +assailed my character as well as yours. So has his partner in the +concern--I mean Harman. But then, my friend, are we not Christians, +and shall we not return good for evil? Shall we not forgive them? Some +whispers, hints, very gentle and delicate have reached my ears, which +I do not wish to commit to paper;--but this I may say, until I see you +to-morrow, that I think your intentions with respect to M'Loughlin and +Harman are premature. There is a screw loose somewhere, so to speak, +that is all--but I believe, I can say, that if your father, Deaker, +will act to our purposes, all will be as we could wish. This is a +delicate subject, my dear friend, but still I am of opinion that if +you could, by any practicable means; soften the unfortunate female +who possesses such an ascendancy over him, all will be right. I would, +myself, undertake the perilous task for your sake--and perilous to +ordinary men I admit it would be, for she is beyond question exceedingly +comely. In me this would appear disinterested, whilst in you, suspicion +would become strong. Cash is wanted in the quarter you know, and cash +has been refused in another quarter, and when we meet I shall tell you +more about this matter. In the mean time it is well that there is no +legitimate issue--but should he will his property to this Delilah, or +could she be removed?--I mean to a local distance. But I shall see you +to-morrow (D.V.), when we can have freer conversation upon what may be +done. With humble but sincere prayers for your best wishes and welfare, +I am, my dear friend, + +"Thine in the bonds of Christian love, + +"Solomon M'Slime. + +"P. S.--As it is a principle of mine to neglect no just opportunity of +improving my deceitful heart, I bought from a travelling pedlar this +morning, a book with the remarkable title of 'The Spiritual Attorney, +or A Sure Guide to the Other World.' I have not yet had time to look at +anything but the title page, and consequently am not able to inform you +which of the worlds he alludes to, ha, ha! You see, my friend, I do not +think there is evil in a joke that is harmless, or has a moral end in +view, as every joke ought to have. + +"Thine as before, + +"Sol. M'Slime." + + + + +CHAPTER IV.--Poll Doolin, the Child Cadger + +--Raymond, her Son--Short Dialogue on the Times--Polls Opinion on +the Causes of Immorality--Solomon is Generous--A Squire of the Old +School--And a Moral Dialogue. + + +The next morning was that on which the Quarter Sessions of Castle Cumber +commenced; and of course it was necessary for Darby O'Drive, who was +always full of business on such occasions, to see M'Clutchy, in order +to receive instructions touching his duties on various proceedings +connected with the estate. He had reached the crossroads that ran about +half-way between Constitution Cottage and Castle Cumber, when! he met, +just where the road turned to M'Clutchy's, a woman named Poll Doolin, +accompanied, as she mostly was, by her son--a poor, harmless, idiot, +named Raymond; both of whom were well known throughout the whole parish. +Poll was a thin, sallow woman, with piercing dark eyes, and a very; +gipsy-like countenance. Her dress was always black, and very much worn; +in fact, everything about her was black--black stockings, black bonnet, +black hair, and black kerchief. Poll's occupation was indeed a singular +one, and not very creditable to the morals of the day. Her means of +living were derived from the employment of child-cadger to the Foundling +Hospital of Dublin. In other words, she lived by conveying illegitimate +children from the places of their birth to the establishment just +mentioned, which has been very properly termed a bounty for national +immorality. Whenever a birth of this kind occurred, Poll was immediately +sent for--received her little charge with a name--whether true or false +mattered not--pinned to its dress--then her traveling expenses; after +which she delivered it at the hospital, got a receipt for its delivery, +and returned to claim her demand, which was paid only on her producing +it. In the mean time, the unfortunate infant had to encounter all the +comforts of the establishment, until it was drafted out to a charter +school, in which hot-bed of pollution it received that exquisitely +moral education that enabled it to be sent out into society admirably +qualified to sustain the high character of Protestantism. + +"Morrow, Poll," said Darby; "what's the youngest news wid you? And +Raymond, my boy, how goes it wid you?" + +"I don't care for you," replied the fool; "you drove away Widow +Branagan's cow, an' left the childre to the black wather. Bad luck to +you!" + +Darby started; for there is a superstition among the Irish, that the +curse of an "innocent" is one of the most unlucky that can be uttered. + +"Don't curse me," replied Darby; "sure, Raymond, I did only my duty." + +"Then who made you do your duty?" asked the other. + +"Why, Val the Vul--hem--Mr. M'Clutchy, to be sure." + +"Bad luck to him then!" + +His mother, who had been walking a little before him, turned, and, +rushing towards him, put her hand hastily towards his mouth, with the +obvious intention of suppressing the imprecation; but too late; it had +escaped, and be the consequence what it might, Val had got the exciting +cause of it. + +"My poor unfortunate boy," said she, "you oughtn't to curse anybody; +stop this minute, and say God bless him." + +"God bless who?" + +"Mr. McClutchy." + +"The devil bless him! ha, ha, ha! Doesn't he harry the poor, an' drive +away their cows from them--doesn't he rack them an' rob them--harry +them, rack them, rob them-- + + "Harry them, rack them, rob them, + Rob them, rack them, harry them-- + Harry them, rack them, rob them, + Rob them, rack them, harry them." + +This he sung in an air somewhat like "Judy Callahan." + +"Ha, ha, ha! Oh the devil bless him! and they say a blessin' from the +devil is very like a curse from God." + +The mother once more put up her hands to his face, but only with the +intention of fondling and caressing him. She tenderly stroked down his +head, and patted his cheek, and attempted to win him out of the evil +humor into which the sight of Darby had thrown him. Darby could observe, +however, that she appeared to be deeply troubled by the idiot's conduct, +as was evident by the trembling of her hands, and a perturbation of +manner which she could not conceal. + +"Raymond," she said, soothingly, "won't you be good for me, darlin'--for +your own mother, my poor helpless boy? Won't you be good for me?" + +"I will," said he, in a more placid voice. + +"And you will not curse anybody any more?" + +"No, mother, no." + +"And won't you bless Mr. M'Clutchy, my dear child?" + +"There's a fig for him," he replied--there's a fig for him. Now!" + +"But you didn't bless him, my darlin'--you didn't bless him yet." + +As she spoke the words, her eye caught! his, and she perceived that it +began to gleam and kindle. + +"Well no," said she hastily; "no, I won't ask you; only hould your +tongue--say no more." + +She again patted his cheek tenderly, and the fiery light which began to +burn in his eye, died gradually away, and no other expression remained +in it but the habitual one of innocence and good-nature. + +"No, no," said she, shaking her head, and speaking as much to herself as +to Darby; "I know him too well; no earthly power will put him out of +his own way, once he takes it into his head. This minute, if I had +spoke another word about the blessin', Mr. M'Clutchy would a got +another curse; yet, except in these fits, my poor child is kindness and +tendheress itself." + +"Well now," said Darby, "that that's over, can you tell me, Poll, what's +the news? When were you in Dublin?" + +"I've given that up," replied Poll; "I'm too ould and stiff for it now. +As for the news, you ought to know what's goin' as well as I do. You're +nearly as much on the foot." + +"No; nor if every head in the parish was 'ithin side o'mine, I wouldn't +know as much in the news line as you, Poll." + +"The news that's goin' of late, Darby, is not good, an' you know it. +There's great grumlin' an' great complaints, ever since. Val, the lad, +became undher agent; and you know that too." + +"But how can I prevent that?" said Darby; "sure I'd side wid the people +if I could." + +"You'd side wid the people, an' you'd side wid the man that oppresses +them, even in spite of Mr. Hickman." + +"God bless Mr. Hickman!" said Raymond, "and the divil curse him! and +sure 'tis well known that the divil's curse is only another name for +God's blessin'. God bless, Mr. Hickman!" + +"Amen, my darlin' child, wid all my heart," said Poll; "but, Darby," she +continued, "take my word for it, that these things won't end well. The +estate and neighborhood was peaceable and quiet till the Vulture began +his pranks, and now----" + +"Very well," said Darby, "the blame be his, an' if it comes to that, the +punishment; so far as myself's consarned, I say, let every herrin' hang +by its own tail--I must do my duty. But tell me, Poll--hut, woman, never +mind the Vulture--let him go to the devil his own way--tell me do you +ever hear from your son Frank, that Brian M'Loughlin sent acrass?" + +"No," said she, "not a word; but the curse o' heaven on Brian +M'Loughlin! Was my fine young man worth no more than his garran of +a horse, that he didn't steal either, till he was put to it by the +Finigans." + +"Well, sure two o' them were sent over soon afther him, if that's any +comfort." + +"It's no comfort," replied Poll, "but I'll tell you what's a comfort, +the thought that I'll never die till I have full revenge on Brian +M'Loughlin--ay, either on him or his--or both. Come, Raymond, have you +ne'er a spare curse now for Brian M'Loughlin?--you could give a fat one +to M'Clutchy this minute and have you none for Brian M'Loughlin?" + +"No," replied, the son, "he doesn't be harryin' the poor." + +"Well, but he transported your brother. + +"No matter; Frank used to beat me--he was bad, an Brian M'Loughlin was +good to me, and does be good to me; he gives me my dinner or breakfast +whenever I go there--an' a good bed in the barn. I won't curse him. +Now!" + +"It's no use," continued Poll, whose thin features had not yet subsided +from the inflammatory wildness of expression which had been awakened by +the curse, "it's no use, he'll only do what he likes himself, an' the +best way is to never heed him." + +"I believe so," said Darby, "but where's your daughter Lucy now, Poll?" + +"Why," said Poll, "she has taken to my trade, an' thravels up to the +Foundling; although, dear knows, it's hardly worth her while now--it +won't give her salt to her kale, poor girl." + +"Why, are the times mendin'?" asked Darby, who spoke in a moral point of +view. + +"Mendin'!" exclaimed Poll, "oh, ay indeed--Troth they're not fit to be +named in the one day with what they used to be. But indeed, of late +I'm happy to say that they are improvin' a bit," said she, speaking +professionally. "M'Clutchy's givin' them a lift, for I've ever an' +always remarked, that distress, and poverty, and neglect o' the poor, +and hardship, and persecution, an' oppression, and anything that way, +was sure to have my very heart broke wid business." + +"And tell me, Poll, did you ever happen to get a job from a sartin pious +gentleman, o' the name of M'Slime?--now tell the truth." + +"It's a question," replied Poll, "you have no right to axe--you must +know, Darby O'Drive, that I've had my private business, as well as +my public business, an' that I'd suffer that right hand to be cut off +sooner than betray trust. Honor bright, or what's the world good for!" + +They now reached a spot where the road branched into two, but Poll still +kept to that which led to M'Clutchy's. "Are you for the Cottage too," +asked Darby. + +"I am," replied Poll, "I've been sent for; but what he wants wid me, I +know no more than the man in the moon." + +Just then the tramp of a horse's feet was heard behind' them, and in a +minute or two, Solomon M'Slime, who was also on his way to the Cottage, +rode up to them. + +"A kind good morning to you Darby, my friend! I trust you did not +neglect to avail yourself of the--Ah!" said he complacently on catching +a glimpse of Poll's face, "I think I ought to recollect your features, +my good woman--but, no--I can't say I do--No, I must mistake them for +those of another--but, indeed, the best of us is liable to mistake and +error--all frail--flesh is grass." + +"You might often see my face," returned Poll, "but I don't think ever we +spoke before. I know you to look at you, sir, that's all--an' it's thrue +what you say too, sir, there's nothing but frailty in the world--divil a +much else--howsomever, be that as is may, honor bright's my motive." + +"And a good motto it is, my excellent woman--is that interesting young +man your son?" + +"He is, sir; but he's a poor innocent that, hasn't the full complement +of wit, sir, God help him!" + +"Well, my good woman," continued Solomon, "as he appears to be without +shoes to his feet, will you accept of five shillings, which is all the +silver I have about me, to buy him a pair." + +"Many thanks, Mr. M'Sl--hem--many thanks, sir; honor bright's my +motive." + +"And let it always be so, my excellent, woman; a good morning to you +very kindly! Darby, I bid you also good morning, and peace be with you +both." + +So saying, he rode on at a quiet, easy amble, apparently at peace with +his heart, his conscience, his sleek cob, and all the world besides. + +The sessions of Castle Cumber having concluded as sessions usually +conclude, we beg our reader to accompany us to Deaker Hall the residence +of M'Clutchy's father, the squire. This man was far advanced in years, +but appeared to have been possessed of a constitution which sustains +sensuality, or perhaps that retrospective spirit which gloats over its +polluted recollections, on the very verge of the grave. In the case +before us, old age sharpened the inclination to vice in proportion as +it diminished the power of being vicious, and presented an instance of a +man, at the close of a long life, watching over the grave of a corrupted +heart, with a hope of meeting the wan spectres of his own departed +passions, since he could not meet the passions themselves; and he met +them, for they could not rest, but returned to their former habitation, +like unclean spirits as they were, each bringing seven more along with +it, but not to torment him. Such were the beings with which the soul of +this aged materialist was crowded. During life his well known motto was, +"let us eat, and drink and be merry, for to-morrow we die." Upon this +principle, expanded into still wider depravity, did he live and act +during a protracted existence, and to those who knew him, and well known +he was, there appeared something frightfully revolting in the shameless +career of this impenitent old infidel. + +Deaker was a large man, with a rainbow protuberance before, whose chin, +at the time we speak of, rested upon his breast, giving to him the exact +character which he bore--that of a man who to the last was studious +of every sensual opportunity. His gray, goatish eye, was vigilant and. +circumspect, and his under lip protruded in a manner, which, joined to +the character of his age, left no one at a loss for the general subject +matter of his thoughts. He always wore top boots, and generally went on +horseback, having that part of his hat which rested on the collar of his +coat, turned up and greasy. + +Squire Deaker's language was not more moral than his life--for he not +only enforced his principles by his example, but also by his precept. +His conversation consequently resolved itself into a mingled stream of +swearing and obscenity. Ridicule of religion, and a hardened triumph in +his own iniquitous exploits, illustrated and confirmed by a prodigality +of blasphemous asservations, constituted the staple of his thoughts and +expressions. According to his own principles he could not look forward +to another life, and consequently all that remained for him was to look +back upon an unbroken line of seduction and profligacy--upon wealth and +influence not merely abused, but prostituted to the lowest and +grossest purposes of our worst passions--upon systematic crime--unmanly +treachery--and that dishonest avarice which constituted the act of +heartless desertion in himself the ultimate ruin and degradation of +his victims. Such was this well known squire of the old school, whose +portrait, taken from life, will be recognized by every one who ever knew +him, should any such happen to peruse these pages. + +At the period of which we write Squire Deaker was near eighty, and +although feeble and broken down, he still exhibited the remains of a +large, coarse, strong-boned animal, not without a vigorous twinkle of +low cunning in his eye, and a duplicity of character and principle about +his angular and ill-shaped eye-brows which could not be mistaken. He +was confined to his bed, and for the first time during many years, was +unable to attend the Castle Cumber quarter sessions. + +It was the second or third day after their close that about the hour of +ten o'clock, a.m., he awoke from a heavy and unhealthy doze, which could +scarcely be termed sleep, but rather a kind of middle state between that +and waking. At length he raised his head, gasped, and on finding no one +in the room, he let fly a volley of execrations, and rang the bell. + +"Is there any one there? Any one within hearing? I say Isabel, Isabel, +jezabel, are you all dead and d----d?" + +"No, your honor, not yet--some of us at least," replied a shrewd-looking +lad of about eighteen, nicking his appearance. + +"Ha, Lanty--it's you, is it? What do you mean by that, you devil's +pick-tooth? Where's Isabel? Where's Jezabel? Playing her pranks, I +suppose--where is she, you devil's tooth-brush? eh?" + +"Do you want your brandy and wather, sir?" + +"Brandy and h--l, you scoundrel! Where's Miss Puzzle?" + +"Why, she's just rinsing her mouth, sir, wid a drop of "-- + +"Of what, you devil's imp; but I know--she's drinking--she's drunk, you +young candidate for perdition?" + +"I'm not an ould one, sir, any how; as to Miss Fuzzle, sir, she bid me +say, that she's doin' herself the pleasure of drinkin' your health"-- + +"Ha, ha, ha! Oh, if I were near her--that's all! drinking my health! +She's tipsy, the she scoundrel, she never sends me that message unless +when she's tipsy"-- + +"Not tipsy, your honor, only unwell--she's a little touched wid the +falling sickness--she always takes it after rinsing her mouth, sir; for +she's fond of a sweet breath, your honor." + +"Ah, she's a confounded blackguard--a living quicksand, and nothing +else. Lanty, my lad, if the Mississippi was brandy grog, she'd dry the +river--drinking at this hour!--well, never mind, I was drunk myself last +night, and I'm half drunk yet. Here, you devil's tinder box, mix me a +glass of brandy and water." + +"Wouldn't you do it better yourself, sir?" + +"No, you whelp, don't you see how my hands, and be hanged to them, +tremble and shake. Put in another glass, I say--carry it to my mouth +now; hold, you croil--here's the glorious, pious, and immortal memory! +Ho! Lanty, there's nothing like being a good Protestant after all--so +I'll stand to glorious Bill, to the last; nine times nine, and one cheer +more! hurra!" + +He then laid himself back, and attempted to whistle the Boyne Water, +but having only one tusk in front, the sound produced resembled the wild +whistle of the wind through the chink of a door--shrill and monotonous; +after which he burst out into a chuckling laugh, tickled, probably, at +the notion of that celebrated melody proving disloyal in spite of him, +as refusing, as it were, to be whistled. + +At this moment Miss Isabel, or as he most frequently called her Miss +Jezabel Puzzle, came in with a gleaming eye and an unsteady step--her +hair partially dishevelled, and her dress most negligently put on. The +moment Deaker saw her, his whole manner changed, notwithstanding his +previous violence--the swagger departed from him, his countenance fell, +and he lay mute and terror-stricken before her. It was indeed clear that +her sway over him was boundless, and such was the fact. On this occasion +she simply looked at him significantly, held up her hand in a menacing +attitude, and having made a mock curtesy, immediately left the room. + +"Lanty," said he in an undertone, when she had gone, "Lanty, you clip, +go and tell her to forgive me; I said too much, and I'm sorry for it, +say--go you scoundrel." + +"Faix I'll do no such thing, sir," replied Lanty, alarmed at the nature +of the message; "I know better than to come across her now; she'd whale +the life out o' me. Sure she's afther flailing the cook out o' the +kitchen--and Tom Corbet the butler has one of his ears, he says, hangin' +off him as long as a blood-hound's." + +"Speak easy," said Doaker, in a voice of terror, "speak lower, or she +may hear you--Isn't it strange," he said to himself, "that I who never +feared God or man, should quail before this Jezabel!" + +"Begad, an' here's one, your honor, that'll make her quail, if he meets +her." + +"Who is it," asked the other eagerly, "who is it you imp?" + +"Why, Mr. M'Clutchy, sir; he's ridin' up the avenue." + +"Ay, Val the Vulture--Val the Vulture--I like that fellow--like him for +his confoundedly clever roguery; only he's a hypocrite, and doesn't set +the world at defiance as I do;--no, he's a cowardly, skulking hypocrite, +nearly as great a one as M'Slime, but doesn't talk so much about +religion as that oily gentleman." + +In a few moments M'Clutchy entered. "Good morrow, Val. Well, Val--well, +my Vulture, what's in the wind now? Who's to suffer? Are you ready for a +pounce? Eh?" + +"I was sorry to hear that your health's not so good, sir, as it was." + +"You lie, my dear Vulture, you lie in your throat, I tell you. You're +watching for my carcase, snuffing the air at a distance under the hope +of a gorge. No--you didn't care the devil had me, provided you could +make a haul by it." + +"I hope sir, there's no----" + +"Hope! You rascally hypocrite, what's hope good for? Hope to rot in the +grave is it? To melt into corruption and feed the worms? What a precious +putrid carcase I'll make, when I'm a month in the dirt. Maybe you +wouldn't much relish the scent of me then, my worthy Vulture. Curse your +beak, at all events! what do you want? what did you come for?" + +Val, who knew his worthy sire well, knew also the most successful method +of working out any purpose with him. He accordingly replied, conscious +that hypocrisy was out of the question-- + +"The fact is, sir, I want you to aid me in a piece of knavery." + +"I'll do it--I'll do it. Hang me if I don't. Come--I like that--it +shows that there's no mock modesty between us--that we know one another. +What's the knavery?" + +"Why, sir, I'm anxious, in the first place, to have Hickman, the head +agent, out, and in the next, to get into his place, if possible. Now, I +know that you can assist me in both, if you wish." + +"How?" asked Deaker, who was quite as able a tactician as his son; and +who, in fact, had contrived to put himself so completely! in possession +of the political influence of the county as to be able to return any one +he wished. "How is it to be done? Tell me that?" + +"I have understood from George Gamble, Lord Cumber's own man, that he +wants money." + +"Tut," replied Deaker, who now forgot a great deal of his swearing, and +applied himself to the subject, with all the coolness and ability of a +thorough man of business. + +"Tut, Val, is that your news? When was he ever otherwise? Come to the +point; the thing's desirable--but how can it be done?" + +"I think it can; but it must be by very nice handling indeed." + +"Well--your nice handling then?" + +"The truth is, that Hickman, I suspect, is almost sick of the +agency--thanks to Lord Cumber's extravagance, and an occasional bit of +blister which I, through the tenantry, lay on him at home. Cumber, you +know, is an unsteady scoundrel, and in the ordinary I transactions of +life, has no fixed principle, for he is possessed of little honor, and I +am afraid not much honesty." + +"Oh murder! this from Val the Vulture! Let me look at you! Did M'Slime +bite you? or have you turned Methodist? Holy Jupiter, what a sermon! +Curse your beak, sir; go on, and no preaching." + +"Not much honesty as I said. Now, sir, if you, who have him doubly in +your power--first, by the mortgage; and, secondly, as his political +godfather, who can either put him in, or keep him out of the country--if +you were to write him a friendly, confidential letter, in which, +observe, you are about to finally arrange your affairs; and you are +sorry--quite sorry--but the truth is, something must be done about the +mortgage--you are very sorry--mark--but you are old, and cannot leave +your property in an unsettled state. Just touch that part of it so--" + +"Yes--touch and go." + +"Exactly--touch and go. Well, you pass then to the political portion +of it. Hickman's political opinions are not well known, or at least +doubtful. Indeed you have reason to believe that he will not support +his lordship or his family--is not in the confidence of +government--displeased at the Union--and grumbles about corruption. +His lordship is abroad you know, and cannot think for himself. You speak +as his friend--his tried friend--he ought to have a man on his property +who is staunch, can be depended on, and who will see that full justice +is done him in his absence. Hickman, too, is against Ascendancy +principles. Do you see, sir?" + +"Proceed--what next?" + +"Why, we stop there for the present; nothing more can be done until we +hear from the scoundrel himself." + +"And what do you imagine will be the upshot?" + +"Why, I think it not at all unlikely that he will place himself and +his interests, pecuniary and political, altogether in your hands, and +consequently you will probably have the guiding of him." + +"Well, Val, you are an able knave to be sure; but never mind; I like you +all the better. The true doctrine is always--eat, drink, and be merry, +for to-morrow you die,--take as much out of life and your fellow-men as +you can. There's no knavery in the grave, my Vulture. There the honest +man and the knave are alike; and this being the case, what the devil is +public opinion worth?" + +"It's worth a great deal if we use it for our own purposes while we're +here; otherwise I agree with you that it's valueless in itself." + +"You're a cursed clever fellow, Val, an able knave, as I said--but I +don't like your son; he's a dishonest blockhead, and I needn't tell +you that the man who has not brains enough to be dishonest is a most +contemptible scoundrel." + +"Are you not able to get up?" asked Val, in a very dutiful and +affectionate voice. + +"Able enough now, but my head swam a while ago at a deuced rate. I +was drunk, as usual, last night, and could do nothing, not even put a +tumbler to my mouth, until I took a stiff glass of brandy and water, +and that has set me up again. When shall I write to young Topertoe, the +Cumber blade?" + +"The sooner the better, now; but I think you ought to rise and take some +exercise." + +"So I shall, immediately, and to-morrow I write then, according to your +able instructions, most subtle and sagacious Val. Are you off?" + +"Yes, good-bye, sir, and many thanks." + +"None of your stuff I say, but be off out of this--" and as he spoke Val +disappeared. + +So far the first steps for ousting Mr. Hickman were taken by this +precious father and his equally valuable son. Val, however, entertained +other speculations quite as ingenious, and far more malignant in +their tendency. Hickman, of course, he might, by undercurrents and +manoeuvering, succeed in ejecting from the agency; but he could not +absolutely ruin him. Nothing short of this, however, did he propose to +himself, so far as M'Loughlin, and, we may add, every one connected with +him, was concerned; for M'Clutchy possessed that kind of economy in his +moral feelings, that always prompted him to gratify his interest and his +malice by the same act of virtue. How he succeeded in this benevolent +resolution, time and the progress of this truthful history will show. + + + + +CHAPTER V.--A Mysterious Meeting + +--Description of a Summer Evening--A Jealous Vision--Letter from Squire +Beaker to Lord Cumber--Lord Cumber's Reply. + + +The season was now about the close of May, that delightful month +which presents, the heart and all our purer sensations with a twofold +enjoyment; for in that sweet period have we not all the tenderness and +delicacy of spring, combined with the fuller and more expanded charms +of the leafy summer--like that portion of female life, in which the +eye feels it difficult to determine whether the delicate beauty of +the blushing girl, or the riper loveliness of the full grown maid, +predominates in the person. The time was evening, about half an hour +before that soft repose of twilight, in which may be perceived the +subsiding stir of busy life as it murmurs itself into slumber, after the +active pursuits of day. On a green upland lawn, that was a sheep walk, +some portions of which were studded over with the blooming and fragrant +furze, stood an old ecclesiastical ruin, grey from time, and breathing +with that spirit of vague but dreamy reverie, which it caught from the +loveliness of the season, the calmness and the golden light of the hour, +accessories, that, by their influence, gave a solemn beauty to its very +desolation. It reminded one somewhat of the light which coming death +throws upon the cheek of youth when he treacherously treads in the soft +and noiseless steps of decline--or rather of that still purer light, +which, when the aged Christian arrives at the close of a well spent +life, accompanied by peace, and hope, and calmness, falls like a glory +on his bed of death. The ruin was but small, a remnant of one of those +humble, but rude temples, in which God was worshipped in simplicity and +peace, far from the noisy tumults and sanguinary conflicts of ambitious +man. + +Through this sweet upland, and close to the ruin, ran a footpath that +led to a mountain village of considerable extent. Immediately behind the +ruin stood a few large hawthorn trees, now white with blossoms, whose +fragrance made the very air a luxury, and from whose branches came forth +those gushes of evening melody that shed tenderness and tranquility into +the troubled heart. The country in the distance lay charmed, as it were, +by the calm spirit of peace which seemed to have diffused itself +over the whole landscape--western windows were turned into fire--the +motionless lakes shone like mirrors wherever they caught the beams of +the evening light, as did several bends of the broad river which barely +moved within its winding banks through the meadows below. The sun at +length became half concealed behind the summit of the western hills, so +that his rich and gorgeous beams fell only upon the surrounding uplands, +now lit into purple, leaving the valleys and lower parts of the country +to repose in that beautiful shadow which can be looked upon from the +higher parts, only through the crimson glory of the departing light. +And now the sun has disappeared--is gone--but still how beautiful is +the fading splendor that sleeps for a little on the mountain tops, then +becomes dimmer and dimmer--then a faint streak which gradually melts +away until it is finally lost in the soft shadows of that thoughtful +hour. And even thus passeth away all human glory! The ruin which we have +mentioned stood about half way between the residence of Brian M'Loughlin +and the mountain village to which we have alluded. Proceeding homewards +from the latter place, having performed an errand of mercy and charity, +was a very beautiful girl, exquisitely formed, but somewhat below the +middle size. She was Brian M'Loughlin's only daughter--a creature that +breathed of goodness, grace, and all those delightful qualities that make +woman a ministering angel amidst the cares, and miseries, and sorrows +of life. Her figure, symmetry itself, was so light, and graceful, and +elegant, that a new charm was displayed by every motion, as a new beauty +was discovered by every change of her expressive countenance; her hair +was like the raven's wing, and her black eye, instead of being sharp and +piercing, was more in accordance with the benignity of her character, +soft, sweet, and mellow. Her bust and arm were perfection, and the small +white hand and taper fingers would have told a connoisseur or sculptor, +that her foot, in lightness and elegance of formation, might have +excited, the envy of Iris or Camilla. + +Having reached the ruin, she was surprised to see the figure of a thin +woman, dressed in black, issue out of it, and approach her with somewhat +of caution in her manner. Mary M'Loughlin was a girl of strong mind and +firm character, and not likely to feel alarmed by any groundless cause +of apprehension. She immediately recognized the woman, who was no other +than our old friend Poll Doolin, and in the phrases peculiar to the +country, made the usual kind inquiry after her health and welfare. + +"It's a very unusual thing, Poll," she proceeded, "to see you in this +part of the neighborhood!" + +"It is," returned Poll, "I wasn't so near the mountains this many a day; +an' I wouldn't be here now, only on your account. Miss M'Loughlin." + +Now, Mary was by no means ignorant of the enmity which this woman +entertained against her father and family, in consequence of having +prosecuted and transported her profligate son. Without the slightest +apprehension on that account, she felt, however, a good deal puzzled +as to the meaning which could be attached to Poll's words. "How, on my +account, Poll? I don't understand you." + +"Neither you nor yours desarve it at my hands; but for all that, I am +here to do you a good tarn." + +"I hope I never deserved any evil at your! hands, Poll." + +"No, but you're your father's daughter for all that, an' it's not usual +to hate the tree and spare the branches." + +"I suppose you allude to the transportation of your son; but remember, +Poll, that I was only a child then; and don't forget that had your son +been honest, he might I still be a comfort and a credit to you, instead +of a shame and a sorrow. I don't I mean, nor do I wish to hurt your +feelings, Poll; but I am anxious that you should not indulge in such +bitterness of heart against my father, who only did what he could not +avoid." + +"Well," said Poll, "never mind that--although it isn't aisy for a mother +to forget her child wid all his faults; I am here, as I said, on your +'account--I am here to tell you, that there is danger about you and +before you, and to put you on your guard against it. I am here, Miss +Mary M'Loughlin, and if I'm not your friend--I'm not sayin' that I am +not--still I'm the friend of one that is your friend, and that will +protect you if he can." + +"That is very strange, Poll, for I know not how I can have an enemy. +What danger could a simple inoffensive girl like me feel? I who have +never knowingly offended anybody." + +"I have said the truth," replied Poll, "and did my duty--you're now +warned, so be on your guard and take care of yourself." + +"But how, Poll? You mention danger, yet have not told me what it is, +where it's to come from, nor how I am to guard myself against it." + +"I'm not at liberty," said Poll, "but this I can tell you, it's +threatening you, and it comes from a quarther where you'd never look for +it." + +Mary, who was neither timid nor surprised, smiled with the confidence of +innocence, and replied, after a short pause of thought-- + +"Well, Poll, I have been thinking over my friends, and cannot find one +that is likely to be my enemy; at all events I am deeply obliged to you, +still if you could mention what the danger is, I would certainly +feel the obligation to be greater. As it is, I thank you again. Good +evening!" + +"Stay, Miss Mary," replied Poll, walking eagerly a step or two after +her, "stay a minute; I have run a risk in doin' this--only promise me, +to keep what I said to you a saicret for a while--as well as that you +ever had any private talk wid me. Promise this." + +"I shall certainly not promise any such thing, Poll; so far from that, +I will mention every word of your conversation to my father and family, +the moment I reach home. If, as you say, there is danger before or +around me, there are none whose protection I should so naturally seek." + +"But this," said Poll, with an appearance of deep anxiety, "this is a +matther of mere indifference to you: it's to me the danger is, if you +spake of it--to me, I say--not to you." + +"But I can have no secrets from my family." + +"Well, but is it ginerous in you to put me--ay', my very life in +danger--when all you have to do is merely to say nothing? However, since +I must speak out--you'll put more than me in danger--them that you love +betther, an' that you'd never carry a light heart if anything happened +them." + +Mary started--and a light seemed suddenly to break upon her. + +"How," said she, "my engagement to Francis Harman is no secret; our +marriage at no distant day being sanctioned by both our families. Is he +involved in danger connected with your hints?" + +"Deep and deadly, both to him and me. You don't know it, Miss Mary. If +you love him, as you do--as is well known you do--if you would keep him +and my poor worthless self out of danger, may be out of bloodshed--don't +mention a syllable of this meetin' to any one; but of all persons livin' +to himself, until I give you lave, until I can tell you it will be safe +to do so. See, I kneel down with hands clasped, I beg it of you for his +sake and safety!" + +It was pretty well known through the parish, especially by the +initiated, that this same Poll Doolin, had in truth most of its secrets +in keeping; and that she had frequently conducted with success those +rustic intrigues which are to be found in humble, as well as in high +life. The former part of Poll's character, however, was all that had +ever reached the youthful ears of poor innocent Mary, whilst of her +address as a diplomatist in the plots and pursuits of love, she was +utterly ignorant. Naturally unsuspicious, as we have already said, +she looked upon the woman's knowing character rather as a circumstance +calculated to corroborate the truth of the mystery which she, must have +discovered: and was so much moved by the unquestionable sincerity of her +manner, and the safety of her own lover, that she assured her she would +keep the secret, until permitted to divulge it; which she begged might +be at as early a period as possible. Poll thanked her eagerly and +gratefully, and in a few minutes, having made a circuit behind the ruin, +sought the lower and richer country by a different path. + +Mary unconsciously stood for some time after Poll had left her, +meditating over the strange and almost unaccountable scene which had +just taken place, when a rich voice, with which she was well acquainted, +addressed her. She started, and on turning about, found Francis Harman +before her. Twilight had now nearly passed away, and the dusk of evening +was deepening into the darkness of a summer night. + +"What on earth are you thinking of alone in this place, my dear Mary, +and who was that woman who just left you?" + +Mary, though firm of character, was also tender and warm of heart, and +felt deeply for those she loved. The interview with Poll, therefore, had +excited apprehensions concerning Harman's safety, which disturbed her +far more than any she felt for herself. He gave her his right arm as he +spoke, and they went on towards her father's house. + +"Good God," he exclaimed, before she had time to answer him, "what +has disturbed or alarmed you, my sweet Mary? I feel your heart beating +against my arm, in a most extraordinary manner. How is this?" + +The consciousness of the injunction so solemnly and recently imposed, +distressed her exceedingly. Her love of truth was like her love of life +or of heaven, a sacred and instinctive principle which she must now +not only violate, but be forced to run into the hateful practice of +dissimulation. All this passed through her mind in a moment. + +"My dear Francis, I will freely admit that the beatings of my heart are +not altogether without cause; I have been somewhat disturbed, but it +will not signify; I shall be quite well in a moment--but where did you +come from?" + +"They told me you had gone up to poor Widow Carrick's--and I took the +short way, thinking to find you there. But what has disturbed you, my +dear Mary? Something has, and greatly too." + +She looked up with an affectionate smile into his face, although there +trembled a tear upon her eyelids, as she spoke-- + +"Do not ask me, my dear Frank; nor don't think the circumstance of +much importance. It is a little secret of mine, which I cannot for the +present disclose." + +"Well, my love, I only ask to know if the woman that left you was Poll +Doolin." + +"I cannot answer even that, Frank; but such as the secret is, I trust +you shall soon know it." + +"That is enough, my darling. I am satisfied that you would conceal +nothing from either your family or me, which might be detrimental either +to yourself or us--or which we ought to know." + +"That is true," said she, "I feel that it is true." + +"But then on the other hand," said he, playfully, "suppose our little +darling were in possession of a secret which we ought not to know--what +character should we bestow on the secret?" + +This, though said in love and jest, distressed her so much that she +was forced to tell him so--"my dear Francis," she replied, with as +much composure as she could assume, "do not press me on the subject;--I +cannot speak upon it now, and I consequently must throw myself on your +love and generosity only for a short time, I hope." + +"Not a syllable, my darling, on the subject until you resume it +yourself--how are Widow Carrick's sick children?" + +"Somewhat better," she replied, "the two eldest are recovering, and want +nourishment, which, with the exception of my poor contributions, they +cannot get." + +"God love and guard your kind and charitable heart, my sweet Mary," said +he, looking down tenderly into her beautiful face, and pressing her arm +lovingly against his side. + +"What a hard-hearted man that under agent, M'Clutchy, is," she +exclaimed, her beautiful eye brightening with indignation--"do you know +that while her children were ill, his bailiff, Darby O'Drive, by his +orders or authority, or some claim or other, took away her goose and +the only half-dozen of eggs she had for them--indeed, Frank, he's a sad +curse to the property." + +"He is what an old Vandal was once called for his cruelty and +oppression--the Scourge of God," replied Harman, "such certainly the +unhappy tenantry of the Topertoe family find him. Harsh and heartless +as he is, however, what would he be were it not for the vigilance and +humanity of Mr. Hickman? But are you aware, Mary, that his graceful son +Phil was a suitor of yours?" + +"Of mine---ha, ha, ha!--oh, that's too comical, Frank--but I am not--Had +I really ever that honor?" + +"Most certainly; his amiable father had the modesty to propose a +matrimonial union between your family and his!" + +"I never heard of it," replied Mary, "never;--but that is easily +accounted for--my father, I know, would not insult me by the very +mention of it." + +"It's a fact though, that the illegitimate son of the blasphemous old +squire, and of the virtuous and celebrated Kate Clank, hoped to have +united the M'Loughlin blood with his!" + +"Hush!" exclaimed Mary, shuddering, "the very thought is sickening, +revolting." + +"It's not a pleasant subject, certainly," said Harman, "and the less +that is said about it the more disgust we shall avoid, at any rate." + +Her lover having safely conducted Mary home, remained with her family +only a few minutes, as the evening was advanced, and he had still to go +as far as Castle Cumber, upon business connected with the manufactory, +which M'Loughlin and his father had placed wholly under his +superintendence. + +Upon what slight circumstances does the happiness of individuals, +nay, even of states and kingdoms, too frequently depend! Harman most +assuredly was incapable of altogether dismissing the circumstance of +the evening--involved in mystery as they unquestionably were--out of his +mind; not that he entertained the slightest possible suspicion of Mary's +prudence or affection; but he felt a kind of surprise at the novelty +of the position in which he saw she was placed, and no little pain in +consequence of the disagreeable necessity for silence which she admitted +had been imposed on her. His confidence in her, however, was boundless; +and from this perfect reliance on her discretion and truth, he derived +an assurance that she was acting with strict propriety under the +circumstances, whatever might be their character or tendency. + +It may be necessary to mention here that a right of passage ran from +Beleeven, the name of the village in which M'Loughlin resided, to the +Castle Cumber high road, which it joined a little beyond Constitution +Cottage, passing immediately through an angle of the clump of beeches +already mentioned as growing behind the house. By this path, which +shortened the way very much, Harman, and indeed every pedestrian +acquainted with it, was in the habit of passing, and on the night in +question he was proceeding along it at a pretty quick pace, when, having +reached the beeches just alluded to, he perceived two figures, a male +and female, apparently engaged in close and earnest conversation. The +distance at first was too great to enable him to form any opinion as to +who they were, nor would he have even asked himself the question, were +it not that the way necessarily brought him pretty near them. The reader +may form some conception then of his surprise, his perplexity, and, +disguise it as he might, his pain, on ascertaining that the female was +no other than Poll Doolin, and her companion, graceful Phil himself--the +gallant and accomplished owner of Handsome Harry. + +It appeared quite evident that the subject matter of their conversation +was designed for no other ears than their own, or why speak as they did +in low and guarded tones, that implied great secrecy and caution. Nay, +what proved still a plainer corroboration of this--no sooner was the +noise of his footsteps heard, than Poll squatted herself down behind +the small hedge which separated the pathway from the space on which they +stood, and this clearly with a hope of concealing her person from +his observation. Phil also turned away his face with a purpose of +concealment, but the impression left by his lank and scraggy outline, +as it stood twisted before Harman, was such as could not be mistaken. +Poll's identity not only on this occasion, but also during her hasty +separation from Mary, was now established beyond the possibility of a +doubt; a fact which lent to both her interviews a degree of mystery that +confounded Harman. On thinking over the matter coolly, he could scarcely +help believing that Her appearance here was in some way connected with +the, circumstances which had occasioned Mary so much agitation and +alarm. This suspicion, however, soon gave way to a more generous +estimate of her character, and he could not permit himself for a moment +to imagine the existence of anything that was prejudicial to her truth +and affection. At the same time he felt it impossible to prevent himself +from experiencing a strong sense of anxiety, or perhaps we should say, a +feeling of involuntary pain, which lay like a dead weight upon his heart +and spirits. In truth, do what he might and reason as he would, he could +not expel from his mind the new and painful principle which disturbed +it. And thus he went on, sometimes triumphantly defending Mary from all +ungenerous suspicion, and again writhing under the vague and shapeless +surmises which the singular events of the evening sent crowding to +his imagination. His dreams on retiring to seek repose were +frightful--several times in the night he saw graceful Phil squinting +at him with a nondescript leer of vengeance and derision in his yellow +goggle eyes, and bearing Mary off, like some misshapen ogre of old, +mounted upon Handsome Harry, who appeared to be gifted with the speed +of Hark-away or flying Childers, whilst he himself could do nothing but +stand helplessly by, and contemplate the triumph of his hated rival. + +In the mean time the respected father and grandfather of that worthy +young gentleman were laboring as assiduously for his advancement in +life as if he had been gifted with a catalogue of all human virtues. +Old Deaker, true to his word, addressed the very next day the following +characteristic epistle-- + +"To the Right Hon. Lord Cumber. + +"My Lord--It is unnecessary to tell you that I was, during my life, +a plain blunt fellow in all my transactions. When I was honest, I was +honest like a man; and when I did the roguery, I did it like a open, +fearless knave, that defied the world and scorned hypocrisy. I am, +therefore, the same consistent old scoundrel as ever; or the same bluff, +good-humored rascal which your old father--who sold his country--and +yourself--who would sell it too, if you had one to sell--ever found me. +To make short work, then, I want you to dismiss that poor, scurvy devil, +Hickman, from your agency, and put that misbegotten spawn of mine in +his place. I mean Val M'Clutchy, or Val the Vulture, as they have very +properly christened him. Hickman's not the thing, in any sense. He can't +manage the people, and they impose upon him--then you suffer, of course. +Bedsides, he's an anti-ascendancy man, of late, and will go against you +at the forthcoming Election. The fellow pretends to have a conscience, +and be cursed to him--prates about the Union--preaches against +corruption--and talks about the people, as if they were fit to be +anything else than what they are. This is a pretty fellow for you to +have as an agent to your property. Now, I'll tell you what, my Lord--you +know old Deaker well. His motto is--'Let us eat, drink, and be merry, +for to-morrow we die--' I'll tell you what, I say; I have a mortgage on +your property for fourteen thousand pounds. Now, put in Val or I'll be +speaking to my lawyer about it. Put in Val, or you will never warm your +posteriors in a seat for this county, so long as I carry the key of it. +In doing so, make no wry faces about it--you will only serve yourself +and your property, and serve Val into the bargain. Val, to be sure, +is as confounded a scoundrel as any of us, but then he is a staunch +Protestant; and you ought not to be told at this time of day, that the +greater the scoundrel the better the agent. Would you have a fellow, +for instance, whose conscience, indeed, must stand between you and your +interest? Would you have some honest blockhead, who, when you are to be +served by a piece of friendly rascality, will plead scruples. If so, you +are a greater fool than I ever took you to be. Make Val your agent, and +it is not you that will suffer by him, but the people--whom, of course, +no one cares a curse about. I ought to have some claim on you, I think. +Many a lift I have given your precious old father, Tom Topertoe, when I +did not think of pleading scruples. To tell you the truth, many a dirty +trick I played for him, and never brought my conscience to account for +it. Make the most of this rascally world, and of the rascals that are in +it, for we are all alike in the grave. Put in Val, then, and don't made +an enemy of + +"Your old friend, + +"Randal Deaker. + +"P.S.--As to Val, he knows nothing of this transaction--I told him I +would say so, and I keep my word. I forgot to say that if you write this +beggarly devil, Hickman, a sharp letter for money, he may probably +save you the trouble of turning him out. I know him well--he is a thin +skinned fool, and will be apt to bolt, if you follow my advice. + +"Yours as you deserve it, + +"R D." + + +Now, it is necessary to say here, that amidst all this pretence of open +villainy, there ran an undercurrent of cunning that might escape the +observation of most men. In truth, old Deaker was not only a knave, but +a most unscrupulous oppressor at heart, especially when he happened to +get a man in his power from whom he wished to extort a favor, or on +whom he wished to inflict an injury. In the present instance he felt +perfectly conscious of his power over the heartless profligate, to whom +he wrote such a characteristic letter, and the result shows that he +neither miscalculated the feeble principles of his correspondent, nor +the consequences of his own influence over him. By due return of post he +received a reply, of which the following is a copy:-- + +"Old Deaker--You have me fast, and you know it--so I suppose must is +the word; now I'll tell you what I want, you old villain; I want two +thousand pounds, and if M'Clutchy is to get the agency, I must have +the money--so there is my must as well as yours. In the meantime I have +written to Hickman on the same subject, want of money, I mean--what the +consequences may be, I know not, but I fancy I can guess them. + +"Yours, + +"Cumber." + + + + +CHAPTER VI.--The Life and Virtues of an Irish Absentee + +--Duties of an Irish Landlord--An Apologue on Property--Reasons for +Appointing an Agent--M'Clutchy's Notions of His Duties--Receipt to make +a Forty Shilling Freeholder. + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hickman, Esq. + +"London, April 1st, 18-- + +"My Dear Hickman, + +"I wrote to you the day before yesterday, and, as the letter was one of +a very pressing nature, I hope its influence won't be lost upon you. +To you who are so well acquainted with the cursed pickle in which I am +placed, it is unnecessary to say that I shall be fairly done up, unless +you can squeeze something for me out of those rascally tenants of mine. +Fairly done up is not the proper term either; for between you and me, I +strongly suspect a young fellow called Swingler, an ironmonger's son, +of giving me a twist too much, on more than one occasion. He was +introduced, that is, proposed as a member of our club, by Sir Robert +Ratsbane, whose grandfather was a druggist, and seconded by Lord +Loadstone, the celebrated lady-killer, as a regular pigeon, who dropped, +by the death of old 'burn the wind,' into half a million at least. The +fellow did appear to be a very capital speculation, but the whole thing, +however, was a trick, as I strongly suspect; for after losing to a +tolerably smart tune, our gentleman began to illustrate the doctrine of +reaction, and has, under the character of a pigeon, already fleeced half +a score of us. Last week I suffered to the tune of eight hundred--Sir +Heavyhead to that of twelve--Bill Swag five--and the Hon. Tom Trickman +himself, who scarcely ever loses, gave bills for six fifties. I can't +stand this, Hickman, that is, I cannot afford to stand it. What is +fifteen thousand a year to a man like me, who must support his rank, or +be driven to the purgatorial alternative of being imprisoned on his own +estate? Hickman, you have no bowels for me, although you can have for +the hard-fisted boors on my property, who wont pay up as they ought, and +all through your indolence and neglect. You must send me money, get it +where you will; beg, borrow, rob, drive, cant, sell out--for money I +must have. Two thousand within a fortnight, and no disappointment, +or I'm dished. You know not the demands upon me, and therefore you, +naturally enough, think very easily--much too easily--of my confounded +difficulties. If you had an opera girl to keep, as I have--and a +devilish expensive appendage the affectionate jade is--perhaps you might +feel a little more Christian sympathy for me than you do. If you had the +expense of my yacht--my large stud at Melton Mowbry and Doncaster, and +the yearly deficits in my betting book, besides the never ending train +of jockies, grooms, feeders, trainers, _et hoc genus omne_--to meet, it +is probable, old boy, you would not feel so boundless an interest, as +you say you do, in the peace and welfare of another man's tenantry, and +all this at that other man's expense. You're confoundedly unreasonable, +Hickman. Why feel, or pretend to feel, more for these fellows, their +barelegged wives, and ragged brats, than you do for a nobleman of rank, +to whom you are deeply indebted. I mean you no offence, Hickman; you are +in other respects an honest fellow enough, and if possessed of only a +little less heart, as the times go, and more skill in raising money from +these people, you would be invaluable to such a distressed devil as I +am. As it is, I regret to say, that you are more a friend to my tenantry +than to myself, which is a poor qualification for an agent. In fact, we, +the Irish aristocracy living here, or absentees as you call us, instead +of being assailed by abuse, want of patriotism, neglect of duties, and +all that kind of stuff, have an especial claim upon the compassion of +their countrymen. If you knew what we, with limited means and encumbered +properties, must suffer in attempting to compete with the aristocracy +of this country, who are enormously rich, you would say that we deserve +immortal credit for holding out and keeping up appearances as we +do--not that I think we always come off scott-free from their ridicule, +especially when they see the shifts to which we are put, in order to +stretch onward at their own pace. However, we must drink when we are +thirsty, as well as they, and if the water happen to be low in the +cistern, which, indeed, is mostly the case with us, we must, as the +rook in the fable did with the pebbles, throw in rack-renting, drivings, +executions, mortgages, loans, &c, in order to bring it within our +reach--for there is ingenuity in everything, as the proverb says, except +in roasting of eggs. + +"Come, then, Hickman, set to work at once. My yacht has been damaged by +a foolish wager I made to run her through a creek of reefs at low water, +so that the mere repairs will cost me a cool two hundred at least. +Besides this, I have pledged myself to buy my charming little Signora a +pair of Blenheim spaniels that she has fallen in love with, for which I +shall have to fork out a hundred and fifty down. I say, then, again, +my dear Hickman, money, money; money by _any_ means, but by _all_ means +money; _rem, sed quocunque modo rem_. + +"By the way is there not a man there, a kind of under-fellow in +something--agent, I believe--some time appointed, named M'Snitchy, or +M'Smatchey, M'Clutchy, or some such euphonious appellative? Somebody, +old Deaker I think, once mentioned him to me in strong terms, and said +he might become capable of being useful; and you know, Hickman, as well +as I do, that every property circumstanced as mine is, requires a useful +fellow of that particular description. For instance, I dare say, there +are certain proceedings connected with your duty to which you have +no great inclination, and, under these circumstances, would it not +be prudent at least to resort to the agency of somebody like this +M'Clutchy; a fellow not overburthened with too strong a perception of +the necessary pressure. But the truth is, if I proceed in this manner, +your humanity, as the cant goes, will take the alarm; you will say that +my residence abroad has not improved my principles; and that I am rather +strongly tainted with club morality, and the ethics of the gaming, +house. So would you, perhaps, if you breathed my atmosphere, and were +exposed to my temptations. But now I am preaching, and not to the right +purpose either; so as I said before, I say again--money, money, money. + +"I am, my dear Hickman, +"Thy friend in distress, +"Cumber." + + +Henry Hickman, Esq., to the Right Honorable Lord Viscount Cumber:-- + +Primrose Hill, April 18-- + +"My Lord: + +"I have had the honor of receiving both your communications, and have +read them, especially that of the first instant, with great pain. I need +not tell you, that I have been your father's friend--that I have been, +and still am your friend, and as such, from my age and anxiety for your +lordship's welfare and reputation, I must take the liberty of one who +has both sincerely at heart, to write to you in terms which a mere agent +could not with propriety use. As this letter, therefore, is written +for your own eye only, you will be good enough to remember that in +everything severe and home-spoken in it, the friend, and not the agent +speaks--at the same time, I must admit, that it is from the knowledge +gained as an agent that I remonstrate as a friend. + +"It is now beyond a doubt, my Lord, that your position is one surrounded +with difficulties scarcely to be surmounted, unless by measures which I, +as an honest man, cannot permit myself to adopt. So long as the course +of life, which it has pleased your lordship's better taste and judgment +to pursue, did not bring within the compass of my duties as your agent, +the exhibition of principles at variance with humanity and justice, so +long did I fulfil those duties with all the ability and zeal for your +just interests which I could exert. But now I perceive, that you have +driven me to that line beyond which I cannot put my foot, without +dishonor to myself. I have been the agent of your property, my Lord, but +I shall never become the instrument of your vices; and believe me, this +is a distinction which in our unhappy country, is too seldom observed. +Many an agent, my Lord, has built himself a fortune out of the very +necessities of his employer, and left to his children the honorable +reflection that their independence originated from profligacy on the one +hand and dishonesty on the other. You see, my Lord, I find it necessary +to be very plain with you, and to say, that however you may feel +yourself disposed to follow the one course, I shall not rival you in the +other. I cannot become a scourge inflicted by your necessities, not to +use a harsher word, upon a suffering people, who are already exhausted +and provoked by an excess of severity and neglect. Think of the +predicament in which you would have me stand--of the defence which you +place, in my lips. Should your tenantry ask me--'why are you thus cruel +and oppressive-upon us?' what reply could I make but this--'I am thus +cruel because his lordship is profligate. He wants money to support +his-mistress, to feed her vanities and excesses, and you must endure +distress and privation, that the insatiable rapacity of a courtezan may +be gratified. His lordship, too, has horses and dogs, in the welfare of +which he feels a deep interest.' 'But why does he not feel an interest +in us?' 'So he does, for are not you the persons by whose toil and labor +he is enabled to support them all?' 'So that in point of fact, we +are made indirectly the agents of his crimes. The privations which +we suffer--the sweat of our brows--the labor of our hands, go to +the-support of his wantonness, his luxury, and his extravagance! +This, then, is his interest in us?' 'Yes--_work, that you may feed +them_--starve, that his mistress may riot in wantonness; perish your +children that his dogs may be fed!' In such a position as this, my Lord, +I shall never place myself, but you may easily find many that will. The +moment your necessities are known, knavery will be immediately at work, +and assume its guardianship over folly. Indeed there is a monarchical +spirit in knavery, which has never yet been observed. The knave keeps +his fool, as did the kings of old, with this only difference, and a +material one it is--that whilst the fool always lived at the king's +expense, the knave lives at the fool's. How your lordship may feel under +the new administration I cannot say, but I am inclined to think, you +will not find it a distinction without a difference. By this, of course, +you understand, my Lord, that I at once resign my agency. + +"And now, my Lord, in addition to many other unavailable remonstrances +made by me, not only against your licentious habits as a man, but +against your still more indefensible conduct as a landlord, allow me +to address you in a spirit of honesty, which I fear is not easily found +among the class to which I belong. I look upon this as a duty which I +owe less to you than to my country, because I am satisfied that the +most important service which can be rendered to any man, not ashamed +of either your habits or principles, is to lay before him a clear, but +short and simple statement, of that which constitutes his duty as +a landlord--I should say an Irish landlord--for there is a national +idiosyncrasy of constitution about such a man, which appears to prevent +him from properly discharging his duties, either as a friend to himself, +or a just man to his tenantry. + +"The first principle, therefore, which an Irish landlord--or, indeed any +landlord--should lay down, as his fixed and unerring guide, is ever to +remember that his tenantry are his best friends--his only patrons--and +that instead of looking down upon them with contempt, neglect, or even +indifference, he should feel that they are his chief benefactors, who +prop his influence, maintain his rank, and support his authority. + +"The second is--that the duties of the landlord to his tenantry are much +greater, and far more important than those of his tenantry to him, and +should at least be quite as equitably and attentively discharged. + +"The third is--to remember that the great mass of the population in +Ireland belong to one creed, and the great bulk of landed proprietors +to another; and to take care that none of those fierce and iniquitous +prerogatives of power, which are claimed and exercised by those who +possess property, shall be suffered, in the name of religion, or +politics, or prejudice of any kind, to disturb or abridge the civil or +religious rights of the people, and thus weaken the bonds which should +render the interests of landlord and tenant identical. Prejudice so +exercised is tyranny. Every landlord should remember that the soil is of +no religion. + +"The fourth is--simply to remember that those who live upon our +property have bodies and souls, passions, reflections, and feelings +like ourselves. That they are susceptible of hunger, cold, grief, +joy, sickness, and sorrow--that they love their children and domestic +relatives, are attached to their religion, bound by strong and heartfelt +ties to the soil they live on, and are, in fact, moved by all those +general laws and principles of life and nature, which go to make up +social and individual happiness--to remember, in short, that they are +men who have higher destinies in life, than merely administering to the +wants, excesses, or crimes of others; and that no condition has ever yet +been known to subsist between landlord and tenant, or even between man +and man, by which one party is required to surrender comfort, freedom, +and enjoyment, in fact, all that life is good for, merely to gratify the +wants, vices, or ambition of the other. + +"The fifth and last is--not by oppression, cruelty, or rapacity, to goad +the people into madness and outrage, under the plausible name of law +or justice; or to drive the national mind--which is a clear one--into +reflections that may lead it to fall back upon first principles, or +force it to remember that the universal consent by which the rights of +property are acknowledged, may, under the exasperation of overstrained +pressure, in a land so peculiarly circumstanced as Ireland is, +be altogether withheld, and thus its whole foundations shaken or +overturned, and the justice of individual claims and prescriptive right +lost in the tumult. + +"These principles are simple, my Lord, but they ought at least to be +better known, or what would be still more desirable, better practised. +As, however, my paper is nearly filled, I shall finish my communication +with a short fab!e, to which I beg your lordship's serious attention. + +"There lived a man once, who was foolish enough to entertain a senseless +prejudice against cows, because they did not give milk all the year +round. This man was married, and of course, had a numerous family of +children, and being very lazy and improvident, depended principally upon +the kindliness of an excellent cow, whose milk was the chief means of +his support and theirs. At length in the due course of time, the poor +cow, as every one must know, began to yield it in diminished quantities, +and as it happened to be a severe year, and as the lazy man we speak of +had made no provision for its occurrence, it is unnecessary to say that +he and his family were put to the greatest straits for subsistence. +Finding, after much deliberation, that the poor animal, which they +kicked and cudgelled to excess could not change the laws of nature, or +afford them that which she did not possess, it was determined by her +proprietor, that as she failed in supplying them with sufficient milk +they should try the fleams, and have recourse to her blood, in order +to eke out their support. Accordingly she was bled, along with being +milked; but if the quantity of milk she gave before was little, it now +became less, so that in proportion as they drew upon the one the other +diminished, as was but natural. In this way they proceeded, milking and +bleeding the poor animal at the same time, not only without any benefit +to themselves, but with a certain prospect of her ultimate loss, when +one day the cow, after having ruminated for some time on the treatment +she was receiving, began to reflect that she could not be much worse, +or rather that she must soon altogether sink under this system of double +drainage. 'Well' thought she, 'I feel how matters must close with me +at last; I am indeed near the end of my tether; what have I now to fear +when I know that I cannot be worse? And if I am to die, as I must, is it +not better to have satisfaction for my sufferings'? Accordingly, me next +morning when her owner went to get blood for their breakfast, it so +happened that the cow thrust a horn into him, and he was found lying +a corpse under her lifeless carcase--the last drop of her blood having +been expended under the final operation of the fleams. My Lord, the +moral of this is as obvious as it is fearful--and fearfully have the +circumstances of the country, and the principles of such men as you, +caused it to be illustrated. If landlords will press too severely +upon the functions of human suffering and patience, it is not to be +surprised, although it is to be deplored, that where no legal remedy +exists against individual cruelty or rapacity, or that plausible +selfishness, which is the worst species of oppression--that the law, I +say, which protects only the one party should be forgotten or despised +by the other, and a fiercer code of vengeance substituted in its stead. + +"With respect to Mr. M'Clutchy, surely your lordship must remember that +by your own letter he was appointed under agent more than three years +ago. + +"If, after the many remonstrances I have had occasion to make against +his general conduct to the tenants, you consider him a useful man upon +your property, you will, in that case, have to abide the consequences of +your confidence in him. You are, at all events, duly forewarned. + +"I now must beg leave, my Lord, to render up my trust, to resign my +situation as the agent of your estates--I do so with pain, but the +course of your lordship's life has left me no other alternative. I +cannot rack and goad your tenants, nor injure your own property. I +cannot paralyze industry, cramp honest exertion, or distress poverty +still further, merely to supply necessities which are little less than +criminal in yourself and ruinous to your tenantry. + +"Believe me, my Lord, I would not abandon you in your difficulties, if I +saw any honorable means of extricating you from them. You know, however, +that every practicable step has been taken for that purpose, but without +effect--your property should grow rapidly indeed, in order to keep pace +with the increasing and incessant demands which are made upon it. We +can borrow no more, and the knowledge of that fact alone, ought to set +a limit to your extravagance. Excuse this plainness, my Lord, it is well +meant and void of intentional offence. + +"I shall be ready in a few days to deliver all books, papers, documents, +&c, connected With the property, to any person duly authorized by your +Lordship to receive them. + +"I have the honor to be, &c, + +"Henby Hickman." + + +The Right Honorable Lord Cumber to Valentine M'Clutchy:-- + +Doncaster, April, 18-- + +"Sir: + +"In consequence of certain communications which have passed between Mr. +Hickman and myself, I have determined that he shall no longer act in +the capacity of my agent. The situation is therefore open, and, until +a competent person shall be appointed, I authorize you to discharge its +duties, and receive from him a correct statement of all accounts +between us, together with all deeds, leases, books, papers, &c, in his +possession; you first having procured me adequate security, the amount +of which will be determined by M'Slime, my law agent, who will join or +aid you in making all necessary arrangements. + +"You will also have the goodness, as soon afterwards as you feel it +practicable, to transmit me a bond fide account of the Ballyrocket and +Tulygrindem estates, their capability of improvement, condition of the +tenantry, what leases are expired, if any, and those which will soon +drop, with a view of seeing what can be made out of it. In this, also, +M'Slime will aid you. + +"As to the person who may succeed Hickman, as a necessary preliminary he +must lay down two thousand pounds, in the shape of an equivalent for the +appointment. Could you within a fortnight or so, raise so much? If so, +let me hear from you without delay, as it is not unlikely in that case, +I may appoint yourself. + +"By the way, do you understand the manufacture of forty shilling +free-holders in an economical way, because if you do, it would be a +desideratum. Parliament, it is said, will be dissolved in June, and I +want, as well as I can remember, nearly two hundred votes. My brother +lost the last election by something about that number, and I know he +feels very anxious to get into parliament for many reasons. He is now on +the continent, where he has been for the last three years." + + +Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to the Right Hon. Lord Viscount Cumber:-- + +"My Lord: + +"I have had the honor of receiving your Lordship's kind communication, +to which I hasten to make the earliest possible reply. And first, my +Lord, allow me to return sincere thanks for your warm kindness, in +promising to appoint me your agent. You may rest assured, my Lord, that +I will go through my duties as such without favor or affection to any +one, barring your lordship, whose interests it will night and day become +my duty to study. With, respect to the loan your lordship makes allusion +to, I fear it will be out of my power to raise it--that is to the full +amount; but if one-half would do, I might by the aid of friends get it +together. As for security, I trust it is only necessary to say, that +Randal Deaker and Cadwallader Tullywagger, Esqrs., are ready to give it +to any amount, so that there is no difficulty there at all events. + +"On looking again at your lordship's kind letter, it appears possible +that I made a mistake in considering the two thousand as a loan; but +on the other hand, there is not a man living, who respects the high +principles and delicate feelings of our aristocracy more than I do, +and the consequence was, that I feared in supposing it otherwise than a +loan, I might offend your lordship's keen sense of honor, which I pledge +my credit and reputation would grieve my heart even to think of. Under +this impression, then, I shall continue to believe it a loan, until I +have the honor of hearing from your lordship again. + +"Your anxiety, my Lord, to ascertain the state of your property and the +condition of your tenantry is certainly honorable to yourself, as being +a direct proof of the generous interest you feel in their welfare. It is +fortunate in this instance, that your lordship should apply to a man who +has had the opportunities of becoming acquainted with both. True, I am +a simple-minded man, my Lord, and if I possess one quality more +than another it is a love of truth, and a slow, but straightforward +perseverance in whatever is right. It is to this, always under +Providence, that I owe everything. I grant indeed, that it ill becomes +me to speak in this manner of myself, but my object in doing so is, +that as I am about to enter into communications touching your lordship's +tenants and property, you may be induced to place the fullest confidence +in whatever I shall say. Many a time, indeed, my excellent and worthy +friend, Mr. Hickman, has made the same observation, and I felt it +gratifying in the highest degree to hear this from a man who is truth +itself, and whose only fault is--if it be one--that his heart is too +kind, and rather easily imposed on by those who deal in fraud and +cunning. A man like him, who, if he cannot speak well of an absent +friend, will be silent, is a jewel in this life which ought to be worn +in the very core of the heart. + +"With respect to the Ballyracket estate, of which I shall speak first, I +cannot report so favorably as I could wish. The task, in fact, is to me, +personally, a very painful one; especially with reference to that well +meaning and estimable gentleman, Mr. Hickman. In the first place, my +Lord, the tenantry are not at all in arrears, a circumstance which is +by no means in favor of the landlord, especially an Irish one. Every one +knows that an Irish landlord has other demands upon his tenantry besides +the payment of their rents. Is there no stress, for instance, to be laid +upon his political influence, which cannot be exerted unless +through their agency? Now a tenant not in arrears to his landlord is +comparatively independent, but it is not with an independent tenantry +that a landlord can work his wishes. No, my Lord; the safe principle +is to keep the tenant two or three gales behind, and if he fails in +submission, or turns restiff, and becomes openly contumacious, then +you have the means of rectifying the errors of his judgment in your own +hands, and it can be done with the color of both law and justice, behind +which any man may stand without the imputation of harsh motives, or +an excessive love of subordination. I am sorry that Mr. Hickman should +differ with me on this point, for he is a man whose opinions are +very valuable on many things, with the exception of his amiable and +kind-hearted obstinacy. + +"The next disadvantage to your interests, my Lord, is another error--I +am sorry to be forced to say it--of Mr. Hickman. That gentleman is an +advocate for education and the spread of knowledge. Now if an agent were +as much devoted to the interests of the people as he is and ought to be +to those of the landlord, this principle might pass; but as I take it, +that the sole duty of an agent is to extend the interest of his employer +exclusively, so am I opposed to any plan or practice by which the people +may be taught to think too clearly. For let me ask, my Lord, what class +of persons, at the approach of an election, for instance, or during +its continuance, are most available for our interests? Who are driven +without reluctance, without thought, or without reason, in blind and +infatuated multitudes, to the hustings? Certainly not those who have +been educated, or taught to think and act for themselves; but the poor +and the ignorant. And, my Lord, is not the vote of an ignorant man as +valid in law as one who is enlightened? For these reasons, then, I do +not approve of the new schools which Mr. Hickman has established; and +I was pleased to hear that your lordship was sufficiently awake to your +own interests, to decline granting them any support. No, my Lord; an +educated people will be a thinking people--a thinking people will be an +independent people--but an independent people will not be a manageable +people; and if that is not placing the subject in a satisfactory light, +I know not what is. + +"I need scarcely assure you, my Lord, that in my own humble way, I did +everything I reasonably could to discountenance the education system. I +even went so far as to prevent several of the tenants from sending +their children to these schools; but, as usual, I experienced but little +gratitude at their hands, or at those of their parents. This, however, +was not so much owing to my interference, as to the accidental +circumstance of three or four of them having been hanged or transported +for crimes which they were base enough to impute to the ignorance +occasioned by my principles--for so they spoke. + +"Such then is the condition of the Ballyracket tenantry. They are not in +arrears, and you may consequently guess at the wretched state of their +moral feelings. They are, in fact, every day becoming more aware of the +very kind of knowledge which we don't wish them to possess. They do not +slink aside when they see you now; on the contrary, they stand erect, +and look you fearlessly in the face. Upon my credit and reputation +this is truth--melancholy truth, my Lord--and I fear that at the next +election you will find it so to your cost. + +"I have lost no time in ascertaining the other particulars mentioned in +your lordship's letter. The leases of three townlands expired on +March last. They are Derrydowny, Cracknaboulteen, and Ballyweltem. The +principal tenant of Derrydowny is a very respectable widow---one Mrs. +M'Swaddle--a woman of serious habits, if not of decided piety. She +has three daughters, all of whom sit under the ministration of a Mr. +Bolthan--which is pronounced Bottom--a young preacher, belonging to the +Methodist connection. They are to all appearance well in the world, keep +a conversation car, and have the reputation of being very honest and +saving--Old M'Swaddle himself was a revenue collector, and it is +said, died richer than they are willing to admit. Cracknaboulteen is +altogether in the possession of the celebrated family of the M'Kegs--or, +as they are called, the Five Sols--the name of each being Solomon, which +is shortened into Sol. There is lame Sol, blind Sol, long Sol, uncertain +Sol, and Sol of the mountain. They are celebrated distillers of poteen +whiskey, but are not rich. The estate, in fact, would be better without +them, were it not for their votes. The townland of Ballyweltem is +principally the property of a wild faction, named M'Kippeen, whose great +delight is to keep up perpetual feud against an opposite faction of +the O'Squads, who on their part are every whit as eager for the fray as +their enemies. These are also poor enough, and in an election are +not to be depended on. I should say, in addition to this, that several +renewal, fines will fall in during the course of the winter. I +shall, however, examine the leases, and other documents, still more +searchingly, and see what can be got out of it, and how far we can go. + +"The Tullygrindem estate is, I am sorry to say, in a still more +disheartening condition. There is a very bitter and knowing family +living on the townland of Beleeven, named M'Loughlin, who contrive to +spread dangerous and destructive principles among the tenantry. They +are cunning, unscrupulous, and vindictive, but cautious, plausible, and +cloaked with the deepest hypocrisy. I have been endeavoring for years +to conciliate, or rather, reform them by kindness, but hitherto +without effect; whether I shall ultimately succeed in purifying this +fountain-head of bigotry and unconstitutional principle--I do not wish +to use a shorter, but a much stronger term--I cannot yet say. I +shall, at all events, from a sense of justice to you, my Lord, and of +kindness--mistaken it may be, I grant you--to them, continue to make the +desirable attempt. My amiable friend, Hickman, has certainly been +made the dupe of their adroitness, but, indeed, he is too simple +and credulous for this world, as every kind-hearted man, with great +benevolence and little judgment, usually is. If I had not risen honestly +and honorably, as I trust I may say, through the gradations of office +upon this property, I think it probable I, might myself have been +deceived and misled by the natural and seductive tact of this dangerous +family. Mr. Hickman espouses their quarrel, not exactly their quarrel, +but their cause against me; but that is so completely in accordance with +his easy simplicity of character, and his pardonable love of popularity, +that it rather endears him to, me than otherwise. + +"Indeed, I may say, my Lord, candidly and confidentially, that there +is a spirit abroad upon your estates, which requires to be vigilantly +watched, and checked with all due and reasonable promptitude; I allude +principally to these M'Loughlins, and when I state that my excellent +and well disposed friend is absolutely popular among your tenantry, even +although he made them pay up to the very last gale, and that I am by no +means in good odor with them, you will not be surprised when I furnish +your lordship with a key to this same state of feeling which exists so +generally in this country. This, then, my Lord, is the secret:--whenever +an Irish agent devotes himself honestly to the wants, wishes, and +interests of his employer, especially if he be needy and pressed for +money, so sure will he become unpopular with the tenantry. Now, I am +somewhat unpopular with the tenantry, and my amiable friend, Hickman, is +beloved by them; but I think your lordship by this time understands the +why and the wherefore on both sides. As your agent, my Lord, I should +regret such popularity, at the same time, I think the intentions of +poor, sweet, amiable Hickman's heart, are such as we must all love and +admire. + +"With respect, my Lord, to the manufacture of the "forties," as a +certain comical class of freeholders are termed, I could have easily +undertaken to double the number you mention, on the most reasonable +terms, were it not for the discouraging system adopted by Mr. Hickman. +As it is, I must see what can be done; but your lordship knows that I +can take no step either in this or anything else, until my appointment +shall be finally confirmed. Perhaps you are not aware of the remarkable +document, on the subject in question, which has recently gone its rounds +in this country. It is called-- + +"'A RECEIPT TO MAKE A FORTY SHILLING FREEHOLDER.' + +"'Take the poorest Irishman you can get, he must be destitute and +ignorant, for then he will be slavish, give him a mud cabin, but no +education; let the former be a bad model of an indifferent pig-stye, and +held at thrice its value. Put him to repose on a comfortable bed of +damp straw, with his own coat and his wife's petticoat, for bed-clothes. +Pamper him on two half meals of potatoes and point per day--with water +_ad libitum_. For clothing--let him have a new shirt once every three +years--to give him exercise and keep him clean--a hat once in every +seven, and brogues whenever he can get them. His coat and breeches--lest +he might grow too independent--must be worn upon the principle of the +Highlander's knife, which, although a century in the family, was never +changed, except sometimes the handle and sometimes the blade. Let his +right to vote be founded upon a freehold property of six feet square, or +as much as may be encompassed by his own shift, and take care that there +be a gooseberry bush in the centre of it; he must have from four to +ten children, as a proof of his standing in society, all fashionably +dressed, and coming at the rate of one every twelve months. Having thus, +by a liberal system of feeding and clothing, rendered him strong for +labor, you must work him from dark to dark--pay him fourpence a day for +three quarters of the year, with permission to beg or starve for the +remainder. When in health task him beyond his strength, and when +sick neglect him--for there is nothing so beautiful as kindness in a +landlord, and gratitude in a tenant--and thus will your virtues become +reciprocal. He must live under a gradation of six landlords, so that +whoever defaults, he may suffer--and he will have the advantage of six +tyrants instead of one. Your agent is to wheedle, and your bailiff to +bully him; the one must promise, and the other threaten; but if both +fail, you must try him yourself. Should he become intractable under all +this, you must take purer measures.--Compliment him on his wife--praise +and admire his children--play upon his affections, and corrupt him +through his very virtues--for that will show that you love your country +and her people better than your own interests. Place a promise of +independence on one side of him, but a ruined cottage and extermination +on the other. When all his scruples are thus honorably overcome, and his +conscience skilfully removed, take him for twenty minutes or so out of +his rags, put him into a voting suit that he may avoid suspicion, bring +him up to the poll--steep him in the strongest perjury, then strip him +of his voting suit, clap him into his rags, and having thus fitted him +for the perpetration of any treachery or crime, set him at large +once more, that he may disseminate your own principles upon your +own property, until you may require him again. Having thus honestly +discharged your duty to God and your country, go calmly to your pillow, +where you can rest in the consciousness of having done all that a +virtuous man and true patriot can do, to promote the comfort and +independence of his fellow creatures.' + +"I have the honor to be, &c., &c., +"VAL M'CLUTCHY," + + + +Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney at Law: + +"DEAR SIR: + +"Enclosed is a letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, which I will trouble you to +forward to him as soon as you can. It contains his appointment to the +vacant agency, together with the proper power of attorney, and I have +every reason to hope that my property will improve under him. I did +think it no breach of any honorable principle to make him advance, by +way of compensation, the sum of two thousand pounds. It is a thing very +usually done, I am aware, and by men who would not bear any imputation +against their honor. But I know not how it is, his letter has deterred +me from taking the money in that light. It would be certainly too bad +to allow a person of his birth and standing in the world to teach one +of mine a lesson in delicacy of feeling. For this reason, then, let +him advance the money on the usual terms of loan:--that you can +adjust between you. All I ask is, that you will not lose one moment +of unnecessary time in accomplishing this business, and remitting the +money. Two thousand in a fortnight will be of more value to me than four +in a month, owing to the peculiar difficulties in which I am placed. + +"Yours, CUMBER. + +"P.S.--I say, my little saint, I hope you are as religious as ever--but +in the meantime as it is not unlikely--but on the contrary very +probable--if not altogether certain--that I shall be in Ireland should +the election take place, I trust you will have the kindness to let me +know if there's e'er a pretty girl in the neighborhood--that wants +a friend and protector--ha, ha, ha--as great a sinner as ever, you +see--but for that reason you know the more entitled to your prayers +for my conversion. The greater the saint, the greater the sinner +now-a-days--or is it the other way? I forget. + +"CUMBER." + + +Lord Cumber to Val M'Clutchy, enclosed in the above: + +"Dear Sir: + +"I am very happy in appointing you to the important situation of my +agent, with all the necessary powers and authority to act as may best +seem to you for my advantage. The money I will take on your own terms, +only I beg that you will lose no time in remitting it. I agree with you +in thinking that Mr. Hickman, however well meaning, was deficient +in firmness and penetration of character, so far as the tenants were +concerned; and I would recommend you to avoid the errors which you +perceived in him. With many principles laid down in your letter I agree, +but not with all. For instance, if I understand you right, you would +appear to advocate too much indulgence to the tenantry at my expense; +for what else is allowing them to run into arrears. This certainly +keeps the money out of my pocket, and you cannot surely expect me to +countenance such a proceeding as that:--whilst I say this, it is due to +you that I consider your ultimate object a correct one. Property loses +a great portion of its value, unless a landlord's influence over the +people be as strong as his right to the soil; and for this reason, the +duty of every landlord is to exercise as powerful a control over the +former, and get as much out of the latter as he can. The landlords, to be +sure, are of one religion and the people of another; but so long as we +can avail ourselves of the latter for political purposes, we need care +but little about their creed. The results in this case are precisely the +same as if the country were Protestant, and that is as much as we +want. Indeed I question if the whole Irish population were Protestant +to-morrow, whether the fact would not be against us. I now speak +as identifying myself with British interests. Would we find them as +manageable and as easily shaped to our purposes? I fear not. They would +demand education, knowledge, and all the fulness of civil liberty; they +would become independent, they would think for themselves, and in +what predicament would that place us? Could we then work our British +interests, foster British prejudices, and aid British ambition as we do? +Certainly not, unless we had the people with us, and without them we are +nothing. + +"On the whole, then, so long as we continue to maintain our proper +influence over them, I think, without doubt, we are much safer as we +stand. + +"With respect to the discharge of your duty, your own judgment will be a +better guide than mine. As I said before, avoid Hickman's errors; I fear +he was too soft, credulous, and easily played upon. Excess of feeling, +in fact, is a bad qualification in an agent. Humanity is very well in +its place; but a strong sense of duty is worth a thousand of it. +It strikes me, that you would do well to put on a manner in your +intercourse with the tenants, as much opposed to Hickman's as possible. +Be generally angry, speak loud, swear roundly, and make them know their +place. To bully and browbeat is not easily done with success, even in +a just cause, although with a broken-spirited people it is a good gift; +but after all I apprehend the best method is just to adapt your bearing +to the character of the person you have to deal with, if you wish, as +you ought, to arrive at that ascendency of feeling on your part, and +subserviency on theirs, which are necessary to keep them in proper +temper for your purposes. + +"Your receipt for making a forty shilling freeholder contains many +excellent ingredients, but I do not think it was honestly drawn up; that +is, I believe it to be the production of some one who was not friendly +to that system of franchise. I have little else to say, except that you +will find it necessary I think to be very firm and rigorous. Remember +that we are here to-day, and gone to-morrow; so upon this principle keep +them moving at a steady pace. In three words, think of my difficulties, +and get all you can out of them--still remembering, as we say in the +ring, never to train them below their strength, for that would be the +loss of our own battle. + +"Yours, +"Cumber." + + +Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney-at-law, to Lord Cumber, + +"My esteemed Lord: + +"I had the unmerited honor--for, indeed, to a man sensible of his many +frailties as I am, I feel it is an unmerited honor--to receive any +communication from one whom the Lord hath exalted to a place of such +high rank in this world, as that which your lordship so worthily fills. +It gives me great gratification, my Lord, to learn from your last letter +that you have appointed my friend, Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, as your +agent. I am not in the habit of attributing such circumstances as +this--being, as they generally are, matters of mere worldly prudence +and convenience--to any over-ruling cause from above; but truly the +appointment of such a man at this particular time, looks as if there +were a principle of good at work for your lordship's interests. May you +continue, as you do, to deserve it! Your change of agents is, indeed, +one that, through the talent, energy, and integrity of Mr. M'Clutchy, is +likely to redound much and largely to your own benefit. In his capacity +of under agent, I have had frequent opportunities of transacting +business with him; and when I contrast his quickness, clearness, +honesty, and skill, with the evident want of----but no, my Lord; far be +it from me, as a Christian man, to institute any rash comparison either +in favor of my fellow-creature or against him, so long as sin and +prejudice even for that which is good, and frailty, may render us, as +they often do, liable to error. In Mr. M'Clutchy it is possible I may +be mistaken; in Mr. Hickman it is possible I may be mistaken--I am not +infallible--I am frail--a very sinner, but not removed wholly, I would +trust, out of the range of grace. My Lord, I say again, that, as a +conscientious man, and as far as mere human reason--which is at best +but short-sighted--enables me to judge, I am truly cheered in spirit by +this, I trust, providential change in the agency of your property. My +Lord, in my various correspondence, I generally endeavor to make it +a rule not to forget my Christian duties, or, so to speak, to cast a +single grain of the good seed into the hearts of those to whom I am +privileged to write. The calls of religion are, indeed, strong upon +us, if we permitted ourselves to listen to them as we ought. Will your +lordship then pardon me for reminding you, that, however humble the +instrument, I have before now been the honored means of setting your +godly examples of charity before the world, with the single-hearted +purpose and hope that it might imitate your virtues. There is in the +neighborhood a case at present of great distress, in the person of a +widow and her three young children, who have been left destitute by the +guilt and consequent deportation of her unhappy husband to Australia, +for the crime of feloniously abstracting live mutton. I defended him +professionally, or, I should say--although I do not boast of it--with an +eye to the relief of his interesting wife, but without success; and what +rendered his crime more unpardonable, he had the unparalleled wickedness +to say, that he was instigated to it by the ill-advice and intemperate +habits of this amiable woman. Will your lordship, then, allow me to put +your honored name in the list of her Christian friends? Allow me, my +Lord, to subscribe myself, + +"Your lordship's frail, unworthy, +"But faithful and honored servant, +"Solomon M'Slime." + +"P.S.--With respect to your jocose and ironical postscript, may I again +take the liberty of throwing in a word in season. If your lordship could +so far assume a proper Christian seriousness of character, as to render +the act of kindness and protection on your part such as might confer a +competent independence upon a female of religious dispositions, I doubt +not, should your lordship's charity continue unabated on your arrival +here, that some such desirable opportunity might offer, as that of +rescuing a comely but desolate maiden from distress. + +"There is, indeed, a man here living on your lordship's property, who +has a daughter endowed with a large portion of that vain gift called +beauty. Her father and family are people of bad principle, without +conscience or honesty, and, withal, utterly destitute of religion--not +but that they carry themselves very plausibly to the world. Among such +people, my Lord, it is not possible that this engaging damsel, who is +now so youthful and innocent, could resist the evil influence of the +principles that prevail in her family. Indeed, her abiding among them +cannot be for her welfare in any sense. + +"I have the honor, &c." + + +Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to Solomon M'Slime. + +"My dear M'Slime: + +"As it is beyond any doubt, that in the fair discharge of our duty, you +and I can be mutually serviceable to each other; and as it is equally +evident that it is our interest, and what is more, the interest of Lord +Cumber, that we should be so, I therefore think it right to observe, +that in all transactions between us, each should treat the other with +the most perfect confidence. For this reason, I beg to assure you, once +for all, that in any proceeding that may appear harsh towards any of +his lordship's tenantry, I am and shall be actuated by no other feeling, +than a strong, conscientious sense of my duty to him. This is, was, and +will bo the principle of my whole life. And you know very well, my dear +M'Slime, that if I were less devoted to those interests than I am, my +popularity would be greater among the tenantry. Indeed, few men have +a right to know this better than yourself, inasmuch as you stand in +precisely the same beloved relation to them that I do. + +"Our excellent friend Hickman is a very worthy man and exceedingly well +meaning. Don't you think so? Oh, I am sure you do. Yet I know not how +it happened that he left out of his system of agency some of the most +valuable rights and privileges of the landlord. These I will mention to +you when I see you, and when I have more time. I consequently must +say, that in attempting to revive these rights, even while I was +deputy-agent, the unjust odium that is falling upon me already, even +while I had scarce time to move in them, ought rather to be--that is +morally speaking--visited upon him who allowed them to lapse. Now that +the fine old leases of the M'Loughlins and the Harmans, and others, have +dropped, what can I do but study Lord Cumber's interest, in the first +instance? Not but I would serve them if I could, and will if I can. I +bear them no ill-feeling; and if they have joined in the calumnies and +threats that are so unjustly uttered against me, what can I do, and +what ought I do, but return good for evil? You, as a truly religious and +pious man, will feel delighted to support me in this principle, and also +to aid me in bearing it practically out. Any services of a similar kind +that I can honestly and conscientiously render you--and none other would +you accept--I shall be on my part delighted to offer. In the meantime, +let me have your excellent advice as to the most efficient means of +stifling the unreasonable murmurs that are rising among the people--and +as touching M'Loughlin's and Harman's properties, I should be glad to see +you, in order to consult upon what may or can be done for them, always +compatibly with Lord Cumber's interests. + +"The pair of turkies which I send you are the result of my reviving one +of his lordship's rights. They are _duty-turkies_, and I do not think +they will eat the worse for the blessings which Darby O'Drive tells me +accompanied them; at least I don't find they do. + +"All that I have yet written, however, is only preliminary; but now to +business. I have received the letter which Lord Cumber transmitted to +me, under your frank, in which I am appointed his head agent. He also is +willing to accept the two thousand pounds on my own terms--that is, of +course, as a loan, at the usual rate of interest. But don't you think, +my dear M'Slime, that with respect to this large sum, an understanding +might be entered into--or rather an arrangement made, in a quiet way, +that would, I flatter myself, turn out of great ultimate advantage to +his lordship. The truth is, that Lord Cumber, like most generous men, is +very negligent of his own interests--at least much more so than he ought +to be; and it would be most beneficial to him, in every sense, to have +a person managing his estates, in the best possible condition to serve +him. His property, in fact, is not represented in the grand jury panel +of the county. This is a great loss to him--a serious loss. In the first +place, it is wretchedly, shamefully deficient in roads--both public and +private. In the next place, there are many rents left unpaid, through +the inability of the people, which we could get paid by the making of +these roads, and other county arrangements, which the ill-thinking call +jobs. In the third and last place, he has on his property no magistrate +friendly to his aforesaid interests, and who would devote himself +to them with suitable energy and zeal. Indeed, with regard to the +murmurings and heart-burnings alluded to, I fear that such a magistrate +will soon become a matter of necessity. There is a bad spirit rising and +getting abroad, wherever it came from--and you know, my dear M'Slime, +that it could not proceed from either you or me. You know that--you +feel it. Now, what I would propose is this--Lord Cumber has +sufficient interest with the government, to have me--all-unworthy as +I am--appointed a magistrate. Let the government but hint to the +chancellor, and the thing is done. In that event, instead of giving him +this large sum of money as a loan, let it go as a _per contra_ to my +appointment to the bench. And there is another consideration by no means +to be overlooked, which is, that by this arrangement the government +would be certain to have in the commission a man who would prove himself +one of the precise class which they stand in need of--that is, a useful +man, devoted to their wishes. + +"Now, my dear M'Slime, I mention this to you with all the confidence +of unshaken friendship. From you these representations will go to his +lordship with a much better grace than they would from me. Tell him +in your own peculiar way, that he shall have the two thousand for the +magistracy. That is my first object as his friend--this once obtained, +I have no doubt of seeing myself, ere long, a member of the grand panel, +and capable of serving him still more extensively. + +"Believe me to be, +"My dear M'Slime, &c, +"Valentine M'Clutchy. + +"P.S.--I heard you once express a wish about a certain farm--but mum's +the word--only this, I have something in my eye for you." + + +Solomon M'Slime to the Right Hon. Lord Cumber:-- + +"My Gracious Lord: + +"I, of course, cannot look upon the condition you annex to the +appointment of the agent as unreasonable, although my friend M'Clutchy +insists, he says, for the honor of the aristocracy, that it was a +mistake on your lordship's part, and that a loan only was meant. Be this +as it may, I humbly hope a thought has been vouchsafed to me, by which +the matter may, under Providence, assume a more agreeable character for +all parties. Last night, my Lord, immediately after family worship, I +found myself much refreshed in mind, but rather jaded in my poor sinful +body, after the fatigues of the day--for, indeed, I had ridden a good +deal since morning. However, I desired Susanna--a pious young person, +who acts as children's maid, and understands my habits--to procure me +a little hot water and sugar, into which, out of a necessary regard for +health, which is imposed as a duty on us all, I poured a little brandy, +partly for sustainment and partly to qualify the water. Having swallowed +a little of this I found the two principles combine together, almost +like kindred spirits, and consequently experienced both nourishment and +edification from the draught. It was then, my Lord, that it was given me +to turn my mind upon the transaction alluded to, I mean the condition of +paying two thousand pounds for the privilege of managing your property. +Indeed the thing was vouchsafed to me in this light;--your property, +my Lord, is not represented in the grand panel of the county, which is +certainly a serious loss to you, as there is no one here to advocate +your interests, especially since poor Mr. Deaker's infirmities (would +that they were all only of the body!) have caused him to attend the +grand jury less frequently. Many arrangements might be advantageously +made, by which your lordship would indirectly benefit;--that is, the +money, so to speak, might be made to go into one pocket, in order that +it should be transferred to yours. Then you have not; a magistrate in +your estates devoted to your special interests, as you ought to have; +this is a very necessary thing, my Lord, and to which I humbly endeavor +to direct your attention. Again, my Lord, you have no magistrate of +true Protestant and Ascendancy principles, who from time to time, might +manifest to the government that you did not forget their interests +no more than your own. Now, my Lord, what man can be, or is better +qualified to serve your Lordship in all these capacities than that +staunch and unflinching Protestant, Mr. Val M'Clutchy? In what +individual could the commission of the peace more appropriately or +worthily rest than in your own agent? I therefore beg your lordship to +turn this in your mind, and if advised by one so humble, I would suggest +the trial of a short prayer previous to entering on it. Should you exert +your influence for that purpose with the government, the gracious, I +trust I may call it so--appointment--would be immediately made, and I +think I know the grateful disposition of Mr. M'Clutchy sufficiently well +to assure your lordship, that from a thorough Christian sense of your +kindness, the two thousand pounds will be, on that condition, placed in +your lordship's hands. + +"I have the honor to be, my Lord, +"Solomon M'Slime. + +"P.S. Mr. M'Clutchy is ignorant that a suggestion so well calculated +to advance the best interests of general religion, has been graciously +intimated to one so unworthy as I am." + + +Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq:-- + +"It is done--a bargain--I have arranged the business here with the +secretary, and am obliged to you, my sleek little saint, for suggesting +it; I wonder M'Clutchy himself did not think of it. I feel glad the old +leases have dropped, for I am sure, that between you and him, you will +take out of these farms all that can be taken. Of course M'Clutchy and +you are at liberty to revive anything you like, provided it be done +properly. What is it to me, who never go there? I do believe Hickman +was not merely an easy fellow, but a fool; as to _glove-money-- +Healing-money--duty-fowls--and duty-work_--I tell you again, provided +you increase my remittances, and work the cash out of these fellows, you +may insist upon as many of them as you can get. + +"Yours, + +"CUMBER. + +"P.S.--What, my little saint, did you mean by that charitable blunder, +concerning the widow, in your last letter? I never knew before that +a woman was a widow merely because her husband was transported, as he +ought to be, for sheep stealing, or because he happened to live, by +compulsion, in another country. However, no matter; give her, for me, +whatever you think proper, and add it to your bill of costs, as you will +do. + +"Cumber." + + +Solomon M'Slime, Esq., to Lord Cumber:-- + +"My Gracious Lord: + +"As I have never intentionally varied from truth, I could not bear +even for a moment to seem to fall into the opposite principle. I was +certainly very busy on the day I had the honor and privilege of writing +to your lordship, and much distressed both in mind and heart, by the +woeful backsliding of a member of our congregation. On looking over the +copy of the letter, however, I perceive one thing that is gratifying +to me. My Lord, I made no mistake. It is not, perhaps, known to your +Lordship that there are two descriptions of widows--the real and +the vegetable; that is, the widow by death, and the widow by local +separation from her husband. Indeed the latter is a class that requires +as much sustainment and comfort as the other--being as they are, more +numerous, and suffering all the privations of widowhood, poor things, +except its reality. The expression, my Lord, is figurative, and taken +from the agricultural occupation of ploughing; for whenever one animal +is unyoked for any other purpose, such as travelling a journey or the +like, the other is forthwith turned into some park or grassy paddock, +and indeed generally enjoys more comfortable times than if still with +the yoke-fellow; for which reason the return of the latter is seldom +very earnestly desired by the other. I am happy to tell you, my Lord, +that some very refreshing revivals in the religious world have recently +occurred here, such as I trust will cause true religion to spread and be +honored in the land; but on the other hand, I fear that Satan is at work +among many evil designing persons on your Lordship's inheritance in this +our neighborhood. Of this, however, that good and conscientious man +Mr. M'Clutchy, will, I doubt not, give you all proper information and +advice. + +"I have the honor to be, my Lord with profound humility, +"Your Lordship's unworthy servant, +"Solomon M'Slime." + + +Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., J. P., to Lord Cumber:-- + +"My Lord: + +"In point of fact, nothing could be more beneficial to your property, +than my very seasonable appointment to the commission of the peace. It +has extended my powers of working for your advantage, and armed me with +authority that will be found very necessary in repressing outrages and +disturbances when they occur; and I regret to say, that they are likely +to occur much too frequently. I should be sorry to doubt Mr. Hickman's +candor, but in spite of all my charity, I can scarcely avoid thinking +that he did not treat your Lordship with that openness of purpose and +confidence to which every landlord is entitled. Of course, I say this +with great pain, and rather between ourselves, as it were; for heaven +forbid, that a single syllable should escape either my tongue or pen, +that might injure that gentleman's character. The path of duty, however, +is often a stern one, as I find it to be on the present occasion. The +truth, then, is, that I fear Mr. Hickman must have kept the disturbed +state of your tenantry from your Lordship's knowledge, owing probably to +a reluctance in exposing his own laxity of management. Indeed, I wish I +could with a conscientious sense of my duty to your Lordship end here, +so far as he is concerned. But under every circumstance, truth, and +honesty, and candor, will in the long run tell for themselves. It is an +unquestionable fact, then, that from whatever cause it may proceed, your +tenantry and he, ever since my appointment, have had much intercourse +of--not exactly a public---nor can I decidedly term it--a private +nature; and it is equally true, that in proportion as this intercourse +became extended and enlarged, so did the dissatisfaction of the people +increase, until they are now almost ripe for outrage. I have observed, +I think, that poor Hickman never was remarkable for strength of mind, +though not destitute of a certain kind of sagacity; and whether his +tampering--if it be tampering--with these people,--be the result of +a foolish principle of envy, or whether on the other hand, there is +anything political in it, I really cannot say. All I can do is to +state the facts, and leave the inference to your lordship's superior +penetration. + +"If, however, it be the fact, that Hickman could stop to foment this +unhappy feeling on your property, still, my Lord, he is not alone in +it. Indeed it is possible that the intercourse between him and them may +after all be innocent, however suspicions it looks, I trust and hope it +is so--for there are two other families in the neighborhood, who, to +my certain knowledge, have, by diffusing wicked and disloyal principles +among the tenantry, done incalculable injury. I had indeed some notion +of communicating with government on the subject, but I have not as yet +been able to get any information sufficiently tangible to work on. In +the meantime, I think the wisest and most prudent steps I could take for +your Lordship's advantage, would be to get them as quietly as possible +off the estate. I think, from a twofold sense of duty, I shall be forced +to do so. Their leases very fortunately have dropped in the first place, +and it will not be your interest to renew them on political grounds; +for they have lately expressed a determination to vote against your +brother--and in the next, we can get much larger fines from other +sources. Besides his large farm, one of these men, M'Loughlin, holds +a smaller one of eighteen acres, of which there are fifteen years yet +unexpired, yet on consulting with Mr. M'Slime, and examining the lease, +he is of opinion that it contains a flaw, and can be broken. I am sure, +my lord, for your sake I shall be glad of it. + +"I cannot conclude without feeling grateful to Heaven for having given +me such a son as I am blessed with. He is, indeed, quite invaluable to +me in managing these refractory people, and were it not for his aid +and vigor, I could not have been able to send your lordship the last +remittance. He is truly zealous in your cause, but I regret to say, that +I am not likely to be able to avail myself long of his services. He is +about taking a large farm in a different part of the country with a view +to marriage, a circumstance which just now occasions me much anxiety of +mind, as he will be a serious loss to both your lordship and me. I +am also looking out for an under agent, but cannot find one to my +satisfaction. Will your lordship be kind enough to acknowledge the +remittance of last week? + +"I have the honor to be, my lord, +"Val M'C." + + +Lord Cumber to Val M'C, Esq.:-- + +"Dear Sir: + +"The check came safely to hand, and seasonably, and the oftener I +receive such communications the better. The best part of it, however, is +gone to the devil already, for I lost six hundred on Alley Croker at the +last Ascot meeting; I write in a hurry, but have time to desire you to +keep your son, if possible, on the property. By the way, as the under +agency is vacant, I request you will let him have it--and, if he wants a +farm to marry on, try and find him one somewhere on the estate: who +has a better right? and, I dare say, he will make as good a tenant as +another. As to Hickman, I think you are quite mistaken, the truth being +that he resigned, but was not dismissed the agency, and if he has not +a wish to get himself replaced--which I do not think--I don't know what +the deuce he should begin to plot about. I rather think the cause of +complaint amongst the people is, that they find some difference between +his laxity and your rigor; if so, you must only let them growl away, and +when, ever they resort to violence, of course punish them. + +"Very truly yours, +"Cumber." + +"P.S.--By all means get those mischievous fellows--I forget their +names--off the property, as I shall have no tenant under me who will +create disturbance or sow dissension among the people. I thank you +for the fine hamper of fowl, and have only to say, as above, that the +oftener, &c, &c. + +"Cumber." + + + + +CHAPTER VII.--Reflections on Absenteeism + +--Virtues of a Loyal Magistrate--A Small Dose of Flattery--A Brace of +Blessings--Darby has Notions of becoming a Convert--Hints to a Trusty +Bailiff, with a Bit of Mystery--Drum Dhu, and the Comforts of Christmas +Eve--An Extermination. + +One of the greatest curses attending absenteeism is the facility +with which a dishonest and oppressive agent can maintain a system of +misrepresentation and falsehood, either to screen his own delinquency or +to destroy the reputation of those whom he hates or fears. An absentee +landlord has no guarantee beyond the honor and integrity of the man to +whom he entrusts the management of his property, and consequently he +ought to know that his very residence abroad presents strong temptations +to persons, who, in too many instances, are not possessed of any +principle strong enough to compete with their rapacity or cruelty. +Valentine M'Clutchy was one of those fellows in whom the heart was +naturally so hard and selfish that he loved both wealth and the +infliction of oppression, simply on account of the pleasure which they +afforded him. To such a man, and they formed too numerous a class, the +estate of an absentee landlord presented an appropriate, and generally +a safe field for action. The great principle of his life was, in every +transaction that occurred, to make the interest of the landlord on one +hand, and of the tenant on the other, subservient to his own. This was +their rule, and the cunning and adroitness necessary to carry it into +practical effect, were sometimes scarcely deemed worth concealment, so +strong was their sense of impunity, and their disregard of what seldom +took place--retribution. Indeed, the absence of the landlord gave +them necessarily, as matters were managed, an unlimited power over the +people, and gratified that malignant vigilance which ever attends upon +suspicion and conscious guilt. Many of the tenants, for instance, +when driven to the uttermost depths of distress and misery, have been +desperate enough to appeal to the head landlords, and almost in every +case the agent himself was enabled to show them their own letters, which +the absentee had in the meantime transmitted to the identical party +whose tyranny had occasioned them. + +The appointment of Phil to the under agency was felt even more strongly +than the removal of Mr. Hickman or Val's succession to that gentleman; +for there was about honest Val something which the people could not +absolutely despise. His talents for business, however, prostituted as +they were to such infamous purposes, only rendered him a greater +scourge to the unhappy tenantry over whom he was placed. As for Phil, he +experienced at their hands that combined feeling of hatred and contempt +with which we look upon a man who has every disposition to villany but +not the ability to accomplish its purposes in a masterly manner. + +Val's promotion to the Bench did not occasion so much surprise as might +be supposed. It is well known, that every such scoundrel, however he may +disregard the opinions of the people whom he despises, leaves nothing +undone that either meanness or ingenuity can accomplish to sustain a +plausible character with the gentry of the neighborhood. In the times of +which we write, the great passport to popularity among one party was the +expression of strong political opinions. For this reason, Val, who was +too cunning to neglect any subordinate aid to his success in life, had +created for himself a certain description of character, which in a great +degree occasioned much of his dishonesty and oppression to be overlooked +or forgiven. Like his father, old Deaker, he was a furious Orangeman, +of the true, loyal, and Ascendancy class--drank the glorious, pious, +and immortal memory every day after dinner--was, in fact, master of an +Orange Lodge, and altogether a man of that thorough, staunch, Protestant +principle, which was then, as it has been since, prostituted to the +worst purposes. For this reason, he was looked upon, by those of his own +class not so much as a heartless and unscrupulous knave, as a good sound +Protestant, whose religion and loyalty were of the right kidney. In +accordance with these principles, he lost no time in assuming the +character of an active useful man, who considered it the most important +part of his duty to extend his political opinions by every means in his +power, and to discountenance, in all shapes and under all circumstances, +such as were opposed to them. For this purpose, there was only one +object left untried and unaccomplished; but time and his undoubted +loyalty soon enabled him to achieve it. Not long after his appointment +to the agency, he began to experience some of these uneasy sensations +which a consciousness of not having deserved well at the hands of the +people will occasion. The man, as we have said, was a coward at heart; +but like many others of the same class, he contrived on most occasions +to conceal it. He now considered that it would, at all events, be a safe +and prudent act on his part to raise a corps of yeomanry, securing +a commission in it for himself and Phil. In this case he deemed it +necessary to be able to lay, before government such satisfactory proofs +as would ensure the accomplishment of his object, and at the same time +establish his own loyalty and devotion to the higher powers. No man +possessed the art of combining several motives, under the simple guise +of one act, with greater skill than M'Clutchy. For instance, he had an +opportunity of removing from the estate as many as possible of those +whom he could not reckon on for political support. Thus would he, in the +least suspicious manner, and in the very act of loyalty, occasion +that quantity of disturbance just necessary to corroborate his +representations to government--free property from disaffected persons, +whose consciences were proof against both his threats and promises--and +prove to the world that Valentine M'Clutchy was the man to suppress +disturbance, punish offenders, maintain peace, and, in short, exhibit +precisely that loyal and truly Protestant spirit which the times +required, and which, in the end, generally contrived to bring its own +reward along with it. + +One evening, about this period, our worthy agent was sitting in his back +parlor, enjoying with Phil the comforts of a warm tumbler of punch, when +the old knock already described was heard at the hall door. + +"How the devil does that rascal contrive to give such a knock?" said +Phil--"upon my honor and reputation, father, I could know it out of a +thousand." + +"It's very difficult to say," replied the other; "but I agree with you +in its character--and yet, I am convinced that Master Darby by no means +entertains the terror of me which he affects. However, be this as it +may, he is invaluable for his attachment to our interests, and the trust +which we can repose in him. I intend to make him a sergeant in our new +corps--and talking of that, Phil, you are not aware that I received this +morning a letter from Lord Cumber, in which he thanks me for the hint, +and says he will do everything in his power to forward the business. I +have proposed that he shall be colonel, and that the corps be named the +Castle Cumber Yeomanry. I shall myself be captain and paymaster, and you +shall have a slice of something off it, Phil, my boy." + +"I have no objection in life," replied Phil, "and let the slice be a +good one; only I am rather quakerly as to actual fighting, which may God +of his infinite mercy prevent!" + +"There will be no fighting, my hero," replied the father, laughing; +"if there were, Phil, I would myself rise above all claims for military +glory; but here there will be nothing but a healthy chase across the +country after an occasional rebel or whiteboy, or perhaps the seizing of +a still, and the capture of many a keg of neat poteen, Phil--eh? What do +you say to that my boy?" + +"I have no objection to that," said Phil, "provided everything is done +in an open, manly manner--in broad day-light. These scoundrel whiteboys +have such devilish good practice at hedge-firing, that I have already +made up my mind to decline all warfare that won't be sanctioned by the +sun. I believe in my soul they see better without light than with it, so +that the darkness which would be a protection to them, could be none to +me." + +At this moment, a tap--such as a thief would give when ascertaining +if the master of the house were asleep, in order that he might rob +him--came to the door, and upon being desired to "come in and be d----d" + +Darby entered. + +"You're an hour late, you scoundrel," said Val; "what have you to say +for yourself?" + +"Yes," added Phil, who was a perfect Achilles to every bailiff and +driver on the estate--"what have you to say for yourself? If I served +you right, upon my honor and reputation, I would kick you out. I would, +you scoundrel, and I ought." + +"I know you ought, squire, for I desarve it; but, any how, sure it was +the floods that sent me round. The stick was covered above three feet, +and I had to go round by the bridge. Throth his honor there ought to +make the Grand Jury put a bridge acrass it, and I wish to goodness, +Square Phil, you would spake to him to get them to do it next summer." + +When Solomon said, that all was vanity and vexation of spirit, we hope +he did not mean that the two terms were at all synonymous; because, if +he did, we unquestionably stand prepared to contest his knowledge of +human nature, despite both his wisdom and experience. Darby's reply was +not a long one, but its effect was powerful. The very notion that Val +M'Clutchy could, should, might, or ought to have such influence over the +Grand Jury of the county was irresistible with the father; and that he +should live to be actually called squire, nay to hear the word with his +own ears, was equally so with the son. + +Vanity! What sensation can the hearts of thousands--millions feel, that +ought for a moment be compared, in an ecstatic sense of enjoyment, with +those which arise from gratified vanity? + +"Come, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits--the night's +severe," said Val. + +"Yes, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits, and we'll see +what can be done about the bridge before next winter," added Phil. + +"All I can say is, gintlemen," said Darby, "that if you both take it +up, it will be done. In the mane time, here's both your healths, +your honors; an' may you both be spared on the property, as a pair of +blessins to the estate!" Then, running over to Phil, he whispered in +a playhouse voice--"Square Phil, I daren't let his honor hear me now, +but--here's black confusion to Hickman, the desaver!" + +"What is he saying, Phil? What is the cursed sneaking scoundrel saying?" + +"Why your honor," interposed Darby, "I was axin' permission jist to add +a thrifle to what I'm goin' to drink." + +"What do you mean?" said Val. + +"Just, your honor, to drink the glorious, pious, and immoral mimory! +hip, hip, hurra!" + +"And how can you drink it, you rascal, and you a papist?" asked Phil, +still highly delighted with Darby's loyalty. "What would your priest say +if he knew it?" + +"Why," said Darby, quite unconscious of the testimony he was bearing to +his own duplicity, "sure they can forgive me that, along with my other +sins. But, any how, I have a great notion to leave them and their +ralligion altogether." + +"How is that, you scoundrel?" asked Val. + +"Yes, you scoundrel; how is that?" added Phil. + +"Why, troth," replied Darby, "I can't well account for it myself, +barrin' it comes from an enlightened conscience. Mr. M'Slime gave me a +tract, some time ago, called Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace, and I +thought in my own conscience, afther readin' it carefully over, that it +applied very much to my condition." + +"Ah!" said Phil, "what a babe you are! but no matter; I'm glad you +have notions of becoming a good sound Protestant; take my word there's +nothing like it. A man that's a good sound Protestant is always a loyal +fellow, and when he's drunk, drinks--to hell with the Pope." + +"Phil, don't be a fool," said his father, who inherited many, if not +all of old Deaker's opinions. "If you are about to become a +Protestant, Darby, that's a very different thing from changing your +religion--inasmuch as you must have one to change first. However, as you +say, M'Slime's your man, and be guided by him." + +"So I intend, sir; and he has been spakin' to me about comin' forrid +publicly, in regard of an intention he has of writin' a new tract +consarning me, to be called the Converted Bailiff, or a Companion to +the Religious Attorney; and he says, sir, that he'll get us bound up +together." + +"Does he?" said Val, dryly; "strung up, I suppose he means." + +"Troth your honor's right," replied Darby; "but my own mimory isn't what +it used to be--it was strung up he said, sure enough, sir." + +"Very well," said Val, "but now to business. Phil, my boy, you move off +for a little--Darby and I have a small matter to talk over, that nobody +must hear but ourselves." + +"All right," replied Phil; "so take care of yourselves;" and accordingly +left the room. + +Now the truth was, that M'Clutchy, who perfectly understood the +half-witted character of his son--for be it known that worthy Phil was +considered by those who had the honor of his acquaintance, as anything +but an oracle--did not feel himself justified in admitting the said Phil +to full confidence in all his plans and speculations. + +"You see now," said he, addressing Darby sternly--"you see the opinion +which I entertain of your honesty, when I trust you more than I do my +son." + +"Troth I do your honor--and by the same token did I ever betray you?" + +"Betray, you scoundrel! what had you to betray?" said Val indignantly, +whatever I do is for the benefit of the country in general, and for Lord +Cumber's property in particular: you know that." + +"Know it! doesn't the whole world know it, sir?" + +"Well, then"--said Val, softening---"now to business. In the first place +observe my words--listen." + +Darby said nothing, but looked at him in the attitude of deep and +breathless attention. + +"Whenever you happen to execute a warrant of distress--that is, when +removing furniture or any other property off the premises, keep a sharp +look out for any papers or parchments that happen to come in your way. +It would do no harm if you should slip them quietly into your pocket and +bring them to me. I say quietly, because there is a spirit abroad among +the people that we must watch; but if they once suspected that we were +on the look out for it, they might baffle us; these papers, you know can +be returned." + +"I see, your honor," said Darby--"there you are right, as, indeed, you +always are." + +"Very well, then. Is the night dark and stormy?" + +"So dark, sir, that a blind man could see it." + +Val then approached the bailiff, looked cautiously about the +room--opened the door, and peeped into the hall; after which he +returned, and placing about half-a-dozen written papers in his hand, +whispered something to him with great earnestness and deliberation. +Darby heard him with profound attention, nodded his head significantly +as he spoke, and placed the point of his right hand fore-finger on the +papers, as if he said, "I see--I understand--I am to do so and so with +these; it's all clear--all right, and it shall be done before I sleep." + +The conversation then fell into its original channel, and Phil was +summoned, in order to receive his instructions touching a ceremony which +was to take place on the following day but one; which ceremony simply +consisted in turning out upon the wide world, without house, or home, or +shelter, about twenty three families, containing among them the young, +the aged, the sick, and the dying--but this is a scene to which we must +beg the reader's more particular attention. + +There stood, facing the west, about two miles from Constitution Cottage, +an irregular string of cabins, with here and there something that might +approach the comfortable air of a middle size house. The soil on which +they stood was an elevated moor, studded with rocks and small cultivated +patches, which the hard hand of labor had, with toil and difficulty, +worn from what might otherwise be called a cold, bleak, desert. The +rocks in several instances were overgrown with underwood and shrubs +of different descriptions, which were browsed upon by meagre and +hungry-looking goats, the only description of cattle that the poverty +of these poor people allowed them to keep, with the exception of two +or three families, who were able to indulge in the luxury of a cow. In +winter it had an air of shivering desolation that was enough to chill +the very blood, even to think of; but in summer, the greenness of the +shrubs, some of which were aromatic and fragrant, relieved the dark, +depressing spirit which seemed to brood upon it. This little colony, +notwithstanding the wretchedness of its appearance, was not, however, +shut out from a share of human happiness. The manners of its inhabitants +were primeval and simple, and if their enjoyments were few and limited, +so also were their desires. God gave them the summer breeze to purify +their blood, the sun of heaven to irradiate the bleakness of their +mountains, the morning and evening dressed in all their beauty, and +music of their mountain streams, and that of the feathered songsters, to +enliven their souls with its melody. The voices of spring, of summer, of +autumn, were cheerful in their ears as the voices of friends, and even +winter, with all his wildness and desolation, was not without a grim +complacence which they loved. They were a poor, harmless, little +community, so very humble and inoffensive, as to be absolutely beneath +the reach of human resentment or injustice. Alas! they were not so. + +The cause of the oppression which was now about to place them in its +iron grasp, was as simple as it was iniquitous. They refused to vote for +Lord Cumber's brother, and were independent enough to respect the rights +of conscience, in defiance of M'Clutchy's denunciations. They had voted +for the gentleman who gave them employment, and who happened besides, to +entertain opinions which they approved. M'Clutchy's object was to remove +them from the property, in order that he might replace them with a more +obedient and less conscientious class; for this was his principle of +action under such circumstances. + +It so happened that there lived among them a man named O'Regan, who, +in point of comfort, was at the head of this little community. He was a +quiet and an affectionate individual, industrious, sober, and every way +well conducted. This inoffensive and virtuous man, and Iris faithful +wife, had been for some time before the period we are describing, +under the shadow of deep affliction. Their second child, and his little +brother, together with the eldest, who for two or three years before had +been at service in England, were all that had been spared to them--the +rest having died young. This second boy was named Torley, and him they +loved with an excess of tenderness and affection that could scarcely be +blamed. The boy was handsome and manly, full of feeling, and possessed +of great resolution and courage; all this, however, was ultimately of +no avail in adding to the span of the poor youth's life. One day in the +beginning of autumn, he overloaded himself with a log of fir which +he had found in the moors; having laid it down to rest, he broke a +blood-vessel in attempting to raise it to his shoulder the second time: +he staggered home, related the accident as it had occurred, and laid +himself down gently upon his bed. Decline then set in, and the +handsome and high-spirited Torley O'Regan, lay patiently awaiting his +dissolution, his languid eye dim with the shadow of its approach. From +the moment it was ascertained that his death, early and unexpectedly, +was known to be certain, the grief of his parents transcended the bounds +of ordinary sorrow. It was indeed, a distressing thing to witness their +sufferings, and to feel, in the inmost chambers of the heart, the awful +wail of their desolation and despair. + +Winter had now arrived in all its severity, and the very day selected +for the removal of these poor people was that which fills, or was +designed to fill, every Christian heart with hope, charity, affection +for our kind, and the innocent enjoyment of that festive spirit which +gives to the season a charm that throws the memory back upon the +sweetest recollections of life--I mean Christmas eve. The morning, +however, was ushered in by storm. There had been above a fortnight's +snow, accompanied by hard frost, and to this was added now the force +of a piercing wind, and a tremendous down pouring of hard dry drift, +against which it is at any time almost impossible even to walk, unless +when supported by health, youth, and uncommon strength. + +In O'Regan's house there was, indeed, the terrible union of a most +bitter and twofold misery. The boy was literally dying, and to this was +added the consciousness that M'Clutchy would work his way in spite +of storm, tempest, and sickness, nay, even death itself. A few of the +inhabitants of the wild mountain village, which, by the way, was named +Drum Dhu, from its black and desolate look, had too much the fear of +M'Clutchy before their eyes, to await his measures, and accordingly +sought out some other shelter. It was said, however, and generally +supposed, by several of the neighboring gentry, that even M'Clutchy +himself would scarcely dare to take such a step, in defiance of common +humanity, public opinion, and the laws both of God and--we were about +to add--man, but the word cannot be written. Every step he took was +strictly and perfectly legal, and the consequence was, that he had that +strong argument, "I am supporthed by the, laws of the land," to enable +him to trample upon all the principles of humanity and justice--to +gratify political rancor, personal hatred, to oppress, persecute, and +ruin. + +Removal, however, in Torley O'Regan's case, would have been instant +death. Motion or effort of any kind were strictly forbidden, as was +conversation, except in the calmest and lowest tones, and everything +at at all approaching to excitement. Still the terror lest this inhuman +agent might carry his resolution into effect on such a day, and under +such circumstances, gave to their pitiable sense of his loss a dark and +deadly hue of misery, at which the heart actually sickens. From the hour +of nine o'clock on that ominous morning, the inhabitants of Drum Dhu +were passing, despite the storm, from cabin to cabin, discussing +the probable events of the day, and asking each other if it could be +possible that M'Clutchy would turn them out under such a tempest. Nor +was this all. The scene indeed was one which ought never to be witnessed +in any country. Misery in all its shapes was there--suffering in its +severest pangs--sickness--disease--famine--and death--to all which was +to be added bleak, houseless, homeless, roofless desolation. Had the +season been summer they might have slept in the fields, made themselves +temporary sheds, or carried their sick, and aged, and helpless, to +distant places where humanity might aid and relieve them. But no--here +were the elements of God, as it were, called in by the malignity and +wickedness of man to war against old age, infancy, and disease. + +For a day or two proceeding this, poor Torley thought he felt a little +better, that is to say, his usual symptoms of suffering were litigated, +as is sometimes the case when human weakness literally sinks below the +reach of pain itself. Ten o'clock had arrived and he had not yet awoke, +having only fallen asleep a little before daybreak. His father went +to his bed-side, and looking down saw that he was still asleep, with +a peaceful smile irradiating his features, as it were with a sense +of inward happiness and tranquility. He beckoned to his mother who +approached the bed, and contemplated him with that tearless agony which +sears the heart and brain, until the feeling would be gladly +exchanged for madness. The conversation which followed was in Irish, a +circumstance that accounts for its figurative style and tenderness of +expression. + +"What is that smile," said the father. "It is the peace of God," said +the mother, "shining from an innocent and happy heart. Oh! Torley, my +son, my son!" + +"Yes," replied the father, "he is going to meet happy hearts, but he +will leave none in this house behind him--even little Brian that he +loved so well--but where was there a heart so loving as his?" This we +need scarcely observe, was all said in whispers. + +"Ah!" said the father, "you may well ask--but don't you remember this +day week, when we were talking of M'Clutchy--'I hope,' says he, 'that +if he should come, I'll be where no agent can turn me out--that is, in +heaven--for I wouldn't wish to live to see you both and little Brian +put from the place that we all loved so well--and then he wiped away the +tears from his pale cheeks.--Oh! Torley, my son--my son--are you laving +us! laving us forever?" + +The father sat down quietly on a chair, and put his hand upon his +forehead, as if to keep the upper part of his head from flying off--for +such, he said, were the sensations he felt. He then wrung his hands +until the joints cracked, and gave one short convulsive sob, which no +effort of his could repress. The boy soon afterwards opened his eyes, +and fixed them with the same peaceful and affectionate smile upon his +parents. + +"Torley," said the mother, kissing him, "how do you feel, our flower?" + +"Aisier," said he, "but I think weaker--I had a dream," he continued; +"I thought I was looking in through a great gate at the most beautiful +place that ever was--and I said to myself, what country can that be, +that's so full of light, and music, and green trees, and beautiful +rivers? 'That is heaven,' said a sweet voice beside me, but I could +see no one. I looked again, and then I thought I saw my three little +brothers standin' inside the gate smilin'--and I said, 'ar'n't you my +brothers that died when you were young?' 'Yes,' said they,'and we are +come to welcome you here.' I was then goin' to go in, when I thought I +saw my father and Brian runnun' hand in hand towards the gate, and as' I +was goin' in I thought they called after me--'wait, Torley, dear, for we +will follow you soon.'" + +"And I hope we all will, our blessed treasure; for when you leave us, +son of our hearts, what temptation will we have to stay afther you? Your +voice, achora, will be in our ears, and your sweet looks in our eyes-- +but that is all that will be left of you--and your father and I will +never have a day's happiness more. Oh, never--never!" + +"You both know I wouldn't lave you if I could help it, but it's the will +of God that I should go; then when I'll be so happy, won't it take the +edge off your grief. Bring Brian here. He and I were all that was +left you, since Ned went to England--and now you will have only him. I +needn't bid you to love him, for I know that you loved both of us, may +be more than you ought, or more than I desarved; but not surely more +than Brian does. Brian, my darling, come and kiss your own Torley that +keept you sleeping every night in his bosom, and never was properly +happy without you--kiss me when I can feel you, for I know that before +long, you will kiss me when I can't kiss you--Brian, my darling life, +how loth I am to lave you, and to lave you all, father--to lave you all, +mother." + +As he spoke, and paused from time to time, the tumult of the storm +without, and the fury with which it swept against the roof, door, +and windows of the house, made a terrible diapason to the sweet and +affecting tone of feeling which pervaded the remarks of the dying +boy. His father, however, who felt an irrepressible dread of what was +expected to take place, started at the close of the last words, and +with a heart divided between the two terrors, stood in that stupefaction +which is only the resting-place of misery, where it takes breath and +strengthens itself for its greatest trials. Ho stood with one hand as +before, pressed upon his forehead, and pointed with the other to the +door. The wife, too, paused, for she could not doubt for a moment, that +she heard sounds mingling with those of the storm which belonged not to +it. It was Christmas eve! + +"Stop, Mary," said he, the very current of his heart stilled--its +beating pulses frozen, as it were, by the terrible apprehension--"stop, +Mary; you can open the door, but in such a morning as this you couldn't +shut it, and the wind and drift would come in and fill the house, and +be the death of our boy. No, I must open the door myself, and it will +require all my strength to shut it." + +"I hear it all, now," said Torley, "the cries and the shouting, the +screechings and the--well, you need not be afeared; put poor Brian in +with me, for I know there is no Irishman but will respect a death-bed, +be it landlord, or agent, ay, or bailey. Oh, no, father, the hand of +God is upon us, and if they respect nothing else, they will surely respect +that. They won't move me, mother, when they see me; for that would kill +me--that would be to murder a dying man." + +The father made no reply, but rushed towards the door, which he opened +and closed after him with more ease than he had expected. The storm, in +fact, was subsiding; the small hard drift had ceased, and it was evident +from the appearance of the sky that there was likely to be a change for +the better. + +It would, indeed, appear, as if the Divine Being actually restrained and +checked the elements, on witnessing the cruel, heartless, and oppressive +purposes of man. But, what a scene presented itself to O'Regan, on going +forth to witness the proceedings which were then about to take place on +this woeful day! + +Entering the northern end of this wild collection of sheelings was +seen a posse of bailiffs, drivers, constables, keepers, and all that +hard-hearted class of ruffians that constitute the staff of a land agent +upon occasions similar to this. Immediately behind these followed a body +of Orange yeomanry, dressed in regimentals, and with fire-arms--each +man carrying thirty rounds of ball cartridge. We say Orange yeomen +advisedly, because, at the period we speak of, Roman Catholics were not +admitted into the yeomanry, unless, perhaps, one in a corps; and even +out of ten corps, perhaps, you might not find the ten exceptions. When +we add to this the fact, that every Protestant young man was then +an Orangeman, and that a strong, relentless feeling of religious and +political hatred subsisted between them and the Catholic party, we think +that there are few, even among our strongest Conservatives, if any, +who would attempt to defend the inhuman policy of allowing one party of +Irishmen, stimulated by the worst passions, to be let loose thus armed +upon defenceless men, whom, besides, they looked upon and treated as +enemies. + +The men in question, who were known by the sobriquet of Deaker's +Dashers, were, in point of fact, the terror of every one in the country +who was not an Orangeman, no matter what his creed or conduct might +be. They were to a man guided by the true Tory principle, not only of +supporting Protestantism, but of putting down Popery; and yet, with +singular inconsistency, they were seldom or never seen within a church +door, all their religion consisting in giving violent and offensive +toasts, and their loyalty in playing party tunes, singing Orange songs, +meeting in Orange lodges, and executing the will of some such oppressor +as M'Clutchy, who was by no means an exaggerated specimen of the Orange +Tory. + +Deaker's Dashers were commanded on this occasion by a little squat +figure, all belly, with a short pair of legs at one end, and a little +red, fiery face, that looked as if it would explode--at the other. +The figure was mounted on horseback, and as it and its party gallantly +entered this city of cabins, it clapped its hands on its side, to +impress the enemy, no doubt, with a due sense of its military character +and prowess. Behind the whole procession, at a little distance, rode +M'Clutchy and M'Slime, graceful Phil having declined the honor of the +expedition altogether, principally, he said, in consequence of the +shortness of the days, and the consequent very sudden approach of night. +We cannot omit to state, that Darby O'Drive was full of consequence and +importance, and led on his followers, with a roll of paper containing +the list of fill those who were to be expelled, rolled up in his hand, +somewhat like a baton of office. Opposed to this display stood a crowd +of poor shivering wretches, with all the marks of poverty and struggle, +and, in many cases, of famine and extreme destitution, about them and +upon them. Women with their half starved children in their arms, many +of them without shoes or stockings--laboring care-worn men, their heads +bound up in cotton handkerchiefs, as intimating illness or recovery +from illness--old men bent over their staves, some with long white hair, +streaming to the breeze, and all with haggard looks of terror, produced +by the well known presence among them of Deaker's Dashers. + +And this was Christmas eve--a time of joy and festivity! + +Other features were also presented, which gave to this miserable scene +a still more depressing character. The voice of lamentation was loud, +especially from the females, both young and old--all of whom, with some +exceptions, were in tears. Many were rending their hair, others clapping +their hands in distraction--some were kneeling to Heaven to implore +its protection, and not a few to call down its vengeance upon their +oppressors. From many of the men, especially the young and healthy, +came stifled curses, and smothered determinations of deep and fearful +vengeance. Brows darkened, eyes gleamed, and teeth were ground with a +spirit that could neither be mistaken or scarcely condemned. M'Clutchy +was then sowing the wind; but whether at a future day to reap the +whirlwind, we are not now prepared to state. + +At length it was deemed time that the ceremony should commence; and +M'Clutchy, armed also with a case of pistols, rode up to Darby:-- + +"O'Drive, you scoundrel," he shouted--for he saw his enemy, and got +courageous, especially since he had a body of his father's Dashers at +his back--"O'Drive, you scoundrel, do you mean to keep us here all +day? Why don't you commence? Whose is the first name on your list? +The ejectment must proceed," addressing the poor people as much as +Darby--"it must proceed. Everything we do is by Lord Cumber's orders, +and strictly according to the law of the land. Every attempt at refusing +to give up peaceable possession, makes you liable to be punished; and +punished, by d--n you shall be." + +"Do not swear, my dear friend," interposed M'Slime; "swear not at all; +but let thy yea be yea, and thy nay, nay; for whatsoever is more than +this cometh of evil. My good friends," he added, addressing himself to +the people, "I could not feel justified in losing this opportunity to +throw in a word in season for your sakes. I need scarcely tell you that +Mr. M'Clutchy, whose character for benevolence and humanity is perfectly +well known--and I would allude to his strong sense of religion, and its +practical influence on his conduct, were I not afraid of giving rise +to a feeling of spiritual pride in the heart of any fellow-creature, +however humble;--I need not tell you, I say, that he and I are here as +your true friends. I, a frail and unworthy sinner, avow myself as your +friend; at least, it is the most anxious and sincere wish of my heart +to do good to you; for, I trust I can honestly say, that I love my +Catholic--I mean my Roman Catholic friends, and desire to meet them in +the bonds of Christ. Yes, we are your friends. You know it is true +that God loveth whom he chasteneth, and that it is always good to +pass through the furnace of tribulation. What are we, then, but the +instruments of his chastisement of you, and of bringing you through that +furnace for your own good and for His honor! Be truly grateful, then, +for this instance of His interposition in your favor. It is only a +blessing in disguise; my friends--strongly disguised, I grant you--but +still a blessing. And now, my friends, to prove my own sincerity--my +affection, and, I trust, Christian interest in your welfare, I say unto +you, that if such among you as lack bread will come to me, when this +dispensation in your favor is concluded, I shall give them that which +will truly nourish them." + +M'Clutohy could not stand this, but went down to the little squab +Dasher, who joined him in a loud fit of laughter at M'Slime's little +word in season; so that the poor dismayed people had the bitter +reflection to add to their other convictions, that their misery, their +cares, and their sorrows, were made a mockery of by those who were +actually inflicting them. + +"When Darby, on whose face there was a heartless smirk of satisfaction +at this opportunity of gratifying M'Clutchy, was about to enter the +first cabin, there arose from the trembling creatures a loud murmur of +wild and unregulated lamentation, which actually startled the bailiff's, +who looked as if they were about to be assaulted. An old man then +approached M'Clutchy, bent with age and infirmity, and whose white hair +hung far down, his shoulders-- + +"Sir," said he, taking off his hat, and standing before him uncovered, +severe and still bitter as was the day--"I stand here in the name of +these poor creatures you see about us, to beg you, for the sake of +God--of Christ who redeemed us--and of the Holy Spirit that gives +kindness and charity to the heart--not on this blake hill undher sich +a sky, and on sich a day, to turn us out of the only shelter we have on +earth! There's people here that will die if they're brought outside +the door. We did not, at laist the most part of all you see before you, +think you had any thought of houldin' good your threat in such a time +of cowld, and storm, and disolation. Look at us, sir, then, have pity +on us! Make it your own case, if you can, and maybe that will bring our +destitution nearer you--and besides, sir, there's a great number of us +thought betther about votin' with you, and surely you won't think of +puttin' them out." + +"It's too late now," said M'Clutchy; "if you had promised me your votes +in time, it was not my intention to have disturbed you--at present I am +acting altogether by Lord Cumber's orders, who desires that every one +refusing to vote for him shall be made an example of, and removed from +the property--O'Drive, you scoundrel, do your duty." + +At this moment there rushed forth from the again agitated crowd an old +woman, whose grizzled locks had escaped from under her dowd cap, and +were blown in confusion about her head; she wore a drugget gown that +had once been yellow, and a deep blue petticoat of the same stuff; a +circumstance, which, joined to the excitement, gave to her appearance a +good deal of picturesque effect. + + +"Low born tyrant," she shouted, kneeling rapidly down and holding up her +clasped hands, but not in supplication--"low born, tyrant," she shouted, +"stop;--spawn of blasphemin' Deaker, stop--bastard of the notorious Kate +Clank, hould your hand? You see we know you and yours well. You were a +bad son to a bad mother, and the curse of God will pursue you and +yours, for that and your other villanies. Go back and hould your hand, I +say--and don't dare to bring the vengeance of God upon you, for the plot +of hell you are about to work out this day. I know that plot. Be warned. +Look about you here, and think of what you're going to do. Have you +no feeling for ould and helpless age--for the weakness of women, the +innocence of children? Are you not afraid on such a day to come near +the bed of sickness, or the bed of death, with such an intention? Here's +widows and orphans, the sick and the dyin', ould age half dead, Mid +infancy half starved; and is it upon these, that you and blasphemin' +Deaker's bloody Dashers are goin' to work your will? Hould your hand, I +say, or if you don't, although I needn't curse you myself, for I am +too wicked for that--yet in the name of all these harmless and helpless +creatures before you, I call their curses on your head. In the name +of all the care, and pain, and sorrow, and starvation, and affliction, +that's now before your eyes, be you cursed in soul and body--in all you +touch--in all you love--cursed here, and cursed hereafter forever, if +you proceed in your wicked intentions this woeful day!" + +"Who is that mad-woman?" said M'Clutchy. "Let her be removed. All I can +say is, that she has taken a very unsuccessful method of staying the +proceedings." + +"Who am I?" said she; "I will tell you that. Look at this," she replied, +exposing her bosom; "these are the breasts that suckled you--between +them did you lie, you ungrateful viper! Yes, you may stare--it's many a +long year since the name of Kate Clank reached your ears, and now that +you have heard it, it is not to bless you. Well, you remember when you +heard it last--on the day you hunted your dogs at me, and threatened to +have me horse-whipped--ay, to horse-whip me with your own hands, should +I ever come near your cursed house. Now, you know who I am, and now I +have kept my word, which was never to die till I gave you a shamed face. +Kate Clank, your mother, is before you!" + +M'Clutchy took the matter very coolly certainly--laughed at her, and, in +a voice of thunder, desired the ejectments to proceed. + +But how shall we dwell upon this miserable work? The wailings and +screams, the solicitations for mercy, their prayers, their imprecations +and promises, were all sternly disregarded; and on went the justice of +law, accompanied by the tumult of misery. The old were dragged out--the +bedriden grand-mother had her couch of straw taken from under her. From +the house of death, the corpse of an aged female was carried out amidst +the shrieks and imprecations of both men and women! The sick child that +clung with faintness to the bosom of its distracted mother, was put out +under the freezing blast of the north; and on, on, onward, from house to +house, went the steps of law, accompanied still by the increasing tumult +of misery. This was upon Christmas eve--a day of "joy and festivity!" + +At length they reached O'Regan's,and it is not our intention to describe +the occurrence at any length. It could not be done. O'Regan clasped his +hands, so did his wife; they knelt--they wept--they supplicated. +They stated the nature of his malady--decline--from having ruptured a +blood-vessel. They ran to M'Clutchy, to M'Slime, to the squat figure +on horseback. They prayed to Darby, and especially entreated a ruffian +follower who had been remarkable for, and wanton in, his inhumanity, but +with no effect. Darby shook his head. + +"It couldn't be done," said he. + +"No," replied the other, whose name was Grimes, "we can't make any +differ between one and another--so out he goes." + +"Father," observed the meek boy, "let them. I will only be the sooner in +heaven." + +He was placed sitting up in bed by the bailiff's, trembling in the cold +rush of the blast; but the moment the father saw their polluted and +sacrilegious hands upon him--he rushed forward accompanied by his +mother. + +"Stay," he said, in a loud, hoarse voice, "since you will have him out, +let our hands, not yours, be upon him." + +The ruffian told him they could not stand there all day, and without any +farther respect for their feelings, they rudely wrapped the bed-clothes +about him, and, carrying him out, he was placed upon a chair before the +door. His parents were immediately beside him, and took him now into +then own care; but it was too late--he smiled as he looked into their +faces, then looked at his little brother, and giving one long drawn +sigh, he passed, without pain or suffering, saving a slight shudder, +into happiness. O'Regan, when he saw that his noble and beloved boy was +gone, surrendered him into the keeping of his wife and other friends, +who prevented his body from falling off the chair. He then bent his eye +sternly upon the group of bailiffs, especially upon the rude ruffian, +Grimes, whose conduct was so atrocious. + +"Now listen," said he, kneeling down beside his dead son--"listen all +of you that has wrought this murder of my dying boy! He is yet warm," +he added, grinding his teeth and looking up to heaven, "and here beside +him, I pray, that the gates of mercy may be closed upon my soul through +sill eternity, if I die without vengeance for your death, my son!" + +His mother, who was now in a state between stupor and distraction, +exclaimed-- + +"To be sure, darling, and I'll assist you, and so will Torley." + +The death of this boy, under circumstances of such incredible cruelty, +occasioned even M'Clutchy to relax something of his original intentions. +He persisted, however, in accomplishing all the ejectments without +exception, but when this was over, he allowed them to re-occupy their +miserable cabins, until the weather should get milder, and until such +of them as could, might be able to procure some other shelter for +themselves and families. + +When all was over, M'Slime, who had brought with him a sheaf of tracts +for their spiritual sustenance, saw, from the deeply tragic character +of the proceedings, that he might spare himself the trouble of such +Christian sympathy as he wished to manifest for their salvation. He +and M'Clutchy, to whom, by the way, he presented the truly spiritual +sustenance of some good brandy out of a flask, with which he balanced +the tracts in his other pocket, then took their way in the very centre +of the Dashers, leaving behind them all those sorrows of life, for +which, however, they might well be glad to exchange their consciences +and their wealth. + +The circumstances which we have just described, were too striking not to +excite considerable indignation among all reasonable minds at the time. +An account of that day's proceedings got into the papers, but was so +promptly and fully contradicted by the united testimony of M'Clutchy and +M'Slime, that the matter was made to appear very highly complimentary +to the benevolence and humanity of both. "So far from the proceedings in +question," the contradiction went on to say, "being marked by the wanton +cruelty and inhumanity imputed to them, they were, on the contrary, as +remarkable for the kindness and forbearance evinced by Messrs. M'Clutchy +and M'Slime. The whole thing was a mere legal form, conducted in a most +benevolent and Christian spirit. The people were all restored to their +tenements the moment the business of the day was concluded, and we +cannot readily forget the admirable advice and exhortation offered to +them, and so appropriately offered by Solomon M'Slime, Esq., the truly +Christian and benevolent law agent of the property in question." + +By these proceedings, however, M'Clutchy had gained Ms point, which was, +under the guise of a zealous course of public duty, to create a basis on +which to ground his private representations of the state of the country +to government. He accordingly lost no time in communicating on the +subject with Lord Cumber, who at once supported him in the project of +raising a body of cavalry for the better security of the public peace; +as, indeed, it was his interest to do, inasmuch, as it advanced his own +importance in the eye of government quite as much as it did M'Clutchy's. +A strong case was therefore made out by this plausible intriguer. In a +few days after the affair of Drum Dhu, honest Val contrived to receive +secret information of the existence of certain illegal papers which +clearly showed that there existed a wide and still spreading conspiracy +in the country. As yet, he said, he could not ground any proceeding of a +definite character upon them. + +The information, he proceeded to say, when writing to the Castle, which +came to him anonymously, was to the effect that by secretly searching +the eaves of certain houses specified in the communication received, he +would find documents, clearly corroborating the existence and design of +the conspiracy just alluded to. That he had accordingly done so, and +to his utter surprise, found that his anonymous informant was right. He +begged to enclose copies of the papers, together with the names of the +families residing in the houses where they were found. He did not like, +indeed, to be called a "Conspiracy hunter," as no man more deprecated +their existence; but he was so devotedly attached to the interests of +his revered sovereign, and those of his government, that no matter at +what risk, either of person or reputation, he would never shrink from +avowing or manifesting that attachment to them. And he had the honor to +be, his very obedient servant. + +Valentine M'Clutohy, J.P. + +P.S.--He begged to enclose for his perusal a letter from his warm +friend, Lord Cumber, on the necessity, as he properly terms it, of +getting up a corps of cavalry, which is indeed a second thought, as +they would be much better adapted, upon long pursuits and under pressing +circumstances, for scouring the country, which is now so dreadfully +disturbed. And has once more the honor to be, Val M'C. + + +Representations like these, aided by that most foolish and besotted +tendency which so many of the ignorant and uneducated peasantry have of +entering into such associations, did not fail in working out M'Clutchy's +designs. Most of those in whose houses these papers were placed, fled +the country, among whom was O'Regan, whose dying son Deaker's Dashers +treated with such indefensible barbarity; and what made everything +appear to fall in with his good fortune, it was much about this period +that Grimes, the unfeeling man whom O'Regan appeared to have in his eye +when he uttered such an awful vow of vengeance, was found murdered not +far from his own house, with a slip of paper pinned to his coat, on +which were written, in a disguised hand the words--"Remember O'Regan's +son, and let tyrants tremble." + +Many strong circumstances appeared to bring this murder home to O'Regan. +From the day of his son's death until the illegal papers were found in +the eave of his house, he had never rested one moment. His whole +soul seemed darkly to brood over that distressing event, and to have +undergone a change, as it were, from good to evil. His brow lowered, +his cheek got gaunt and haggard, and his eye hollow and wolfish with +ferocity. Neither did he make any great secret of his intention to +execute vengeance on those who hurried his dying child out of life +whilst in the very throes of dissolution. He was never known, however, +to name any names, nor to mark out any particular individual for +revenge. His denunciations were general, but fearful in their import. +The necessity, too, of deserting his wife and child sealed his ruin, +which was not hard to do, as the man was at best but poor, or merely +able, as it is termed, to live from hand to mouth. His flight, +therefore, and all the circumstances of the case considered, it is +not strange that he was the object of general suspicion, and that the +officers of justice were sharply on the lookout for a clue to him. + +In this position matters were, when the Castle Cumber corps of cavalry +made their appearance under all the glitter of new arms, housings and +uniforms, with Valentine M'Clutchy as their captain and paymaster, and +graceful Phil as lieutenant. Upon what slight circumstances do great +events often turn. Because Phil had an ungainly twist in his legs, or +in other words, because he was knock-kneed, and could not appear to +advantage as an infantry officer, was the character of the corps changed +from foot to cavalry, so that Phil and Handsome Harry had an opportunity +of exhibiting their points together. A year had now elapsed, and the +same wintry month of December had again returned, and yet no search had +been successful in finding any trace of O'Regan; but if our readers +will be so good as to accompany us to another scene, they will have an +opportunity of learning at least the character which M'Clutchy's new +corps had won in the country. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII.--Poverty and Sorrow + +A Winter Morning--Father Roche--A Mountain Journey--Raymond +Na-hattha--Cabin on the Moors--M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds--The Conflict--A +Treble Death. + + +It is the chill and ghastly dawn of a severe winter morning; the gray, +cheerless opening of day borrows its faint light only for the purpose of +enabling you to see that the country about you is partially covered with +snow, and that the angry sky is loaded with storm. The rising sun, like +some poverty-stricken invalid, driven, as it were, by necessity, to the +occupation of the day, seems scarcely able to rise, and does so with +a sickly and reluctant aspect. Abroad, there is no voice of joy or +kindness--no cheerful murmur with which the heart can sympathize--all +the warm and exhilarating harmonies that breathe from nature in her +more genial moods are silent. A black freezing spirit darkens the very +light of day, and throws its dismal shadow upon everything about us, +whilst the only sounds that fall upon the ear are the roaring of +the bitter winds among the naked trees, or the hoarse voice of the +half-frozen river, rising and falling--now near, and now far away in the +distance. + +On such a morning as this it was, and at such an hour, that a +pale-faced, thin woman, with all the melancholy evidences of destitution +and sorrow about her, knocked at the door of her parish priest, the +Rev. Francis Roche. The very knock she gave had in it a character of +respectful but eager haste. Her appearance, too, was miserable, and as +she stood in the cold wintry twilight, it would have satisfied any one +that deep affliction and wasting poverty were both at her humble heart. +She had on neither shoe nor stocking, and the consequence was, that the +sharp and jagged surface of the frozen ground, rendered severer by the +impatient speed of her journey, had cut her feet in such a manner that +the blood flowed from them in several places. Cloak or bonnet she had +none; but instead of the former her humble gown was turned over her +shoulders, and in place of the latter she wore a thin kerchief, drawn +round her head, and held under her chin with one hand, as the lower +classes of Irishwomen do in short and hasty journeys. Her journey, +however, though hasty in this instance, was by do means short; and it +was easy to perceive by her distracted manner and stifled sobs, that +however poorly protected against the bitter elements, she had a grief +within which rendered her insensible to their severity. + +It was also apparent, that, though humble in life, she possessed, like +thousands of her countrywomen, a mind of sufficient compass and strength +to comprehend, when adequately moved, the united working of more than +one principle at the same moment. We have said it was evident that she +was under the influence of deep sorrow, but this was not all--a second +glance might disclose the exhibition of a still higher principle. The +woman was at prayer, and it was easy to perceive by the beads which she +held in her fervently clasped hands, by the occasional knocking of her +breast, and the earnest look of supplication to heaven, that her soul +poured forth its aspirations in the deep-felt and anxious spirit of that +religion, which affliction is found so often to kindle in the peasant's +heart. She had only knocked a second time when the door was opened, and +having folded up her beads, she put them into her bosom, and entering +the priest's house, immediately found herself in the kitchen. In a +moment a middle-aged woman, with a rush light in her hand, stirred up +the greeshough, and raking the live turf out of it, she threw on a dozen +well-dried peats out of the chimney corner, and soon had a comfortable +and blazing fire, at which the afflicted creature, having first +intimated her wish that his reverence should accompany her home, was +desired to sit until he should be ready to set out. + +"Why, then," exclaimed the good-natured woman, "but you had abitther +thramp of it this cowld and cuttin' mornin'--and a cowld and cuttin' +mornin' it is--for sure didn't I feel as if the very nose was whipt +off o' me when I only wint to open the door for you. Sit near the fire, +achora, and warm yourself--throth myself feels like a sieve, the way +the cowld's goin' through me;--sit over, achora, sit over, and get some +heat into you." + +"Thank you," said the woman, "but you know it's not a safe thing to go +near the fire when one is frozen or very cowld--'twould only make me +worse when I go out again, besides givin' me pain now." + +"Och, troth you're right, I forgot that--but you surely didn't come +far, if one's to judge by your dress; though, God knows, far or near, +you have the light coverin' an you for such a morning as this is, the +Lord be praised!" + +"I came better than three miles," replied the woman. + +"Than what?" + +"Than three miles." + +"Saver above, is it possible! without cloak or bonnet, shoe or +stockin'--an' you have your affliction at home, too, poor thing; why the +Lord look down an you, an' pity you I pray his blessed name this day! +Stop, I must warm you a drink of brave new milk, and that'll help to +put the cowld out of your heart--sit round here, from the breath of that +back door--I'll have it ready for you in a jiffey; throth will I, an' +you'll see it'll warm you and do you good." + +"God help me," exclaimed the woman, "I'll take the drink, bekase I +wouldn't refuse your kind heart; but it's not meat, nor drink, nor +cowld, nor storm, that's throublin' me--I could bear all that, and many +a time did--but then I had _him!_ but now who's to comfort us--who are +we to look to--who is to be our friend? Oh, in the wide world--but God +is good!"--said she, checking herself from a pious apprehension that +she was not sufficiently submissive to his will, "God is good--but still +it's hard to think of losing him." + +"Well, you won't lose him, I hope," said the good creature, stirring +the new milk with a spoon, and tasting it to ascertain if it was warm +enough--"Of coorse it's your husband you--whitch! whitch!--the divil be +off you for a skillet, I've a'most scalded myself wid you--it's so thin +that it has a thing boilin' before you could say Jack Robinson. Here +now, achora, try it, an' take care it's not a trifle too hot--it'll +comfort you, anyhow." + +It is in a country like Ireland, where there is so much of that close +and wasting poverty which constitutes absolute misery, that these +beautiful gushes of pure and tender humanity are to be found, which +spring in the obscurity of life out of the natural goodness and +untutored piety of the Irish heart. It is these virtues, unseen and +unknown, as they generally are, except by the humble individuals on whom +they are exerted--that so often light up by their radiance the +darkness and destitution of the cold and lowly cabin, and that gives an +unconscious sense of cheerfulness under great privations, which +those who do not know the people often attribute to other and more +discreditable causes. + +While the poor woman in question was drinking the warm milk--the very +best restorative by the way which she could get--for poverty is mostly +forced to find out its own humble comforts--Father Roche entered the +kitchen, buttoned up and prepared for the journey. On looking at her he +seemed startled by the scantiness of her dress on such a morning--and +when she rose up at his entrance and dropped him a curtesy, exclaiming, +"God save you, Father!"--at the same time swallowing down the remainder +of the milk that she might not lose a moment; he cast his eye round the +kitchen to see whether she had actually come in the dress she wore. + +"How far have you come this morning, my poor woman?" he inquired. + +"From the ride of the Sliebeen More Mountains, plaise your reverence." + +"What, in your present dress! without shoe or stocking?" + +"True enough, sir; but indeed it was little the cowld, or sleet, or +frost, troubled me." + +"Yes, God help you, I can believe that too--for I understand the cause +of it too well--but have hope--Katty, what was that you gave her?" + +"A mouthful of warm milk, your reverence, to put the cowld out of her +heart." + +"Ah, Katty, I wish we could put sorrow and affliction out of it--but +you did well and right in the meantime; still you must do better, Katty, +lend her your cloak--and your shoes and stockings too, poor thing!" + +"I'm oblaged to your reverence," she replied, "but indeed I won't +feel the want of them; as I said, there's only one thought that I am +suffering about--and that is, for your reverence to see my husband +before he departs." + +"Yes--but the consequences of this cold and bitter journey may fall +upon you at another time--and before long, too--so be advised by me, and +don't refuse to take them." + +"It's not aisy to do that, sir," she replied with a faint smile, for as +she spoke, his servant had the cloak already about her shoulders; "it +appears," she continued, "that this kind woman must have her will and +way in everything." + +"To be sure I will," said Katty, "espishially in everything that's +right, any how--come here now, and while his reverence is getting his +staff and mittens in the room above, I'll help you on with the shoes and +stockings. Now," she added, in one of those touching and irresistible +whispers that are produced by kindness and not by secrecy, "if anything +happens--as God forbid there should--but if anything does happen, keep +these till afther everything is over. Before strangers you know one +wouldn't like to appear too bare, if they could help it." + +The tone in which these words were spoke could not fail in at once +reaching the poor woman's heart. She wept as much from gratitude as the +gloomy alternative involved in Katty's benevolent offer. + +"God bless you," she exclaimed, "but I trust in the Almighty, there +may be hope and that they won't be wanted. Still, how can I hope when I +think of the way he's in? But God is good, blessed be his holy name!" + +So saying, the priest came down,and they both set out on their bleak and +desolate journey. + +The natural aspect of the surrounding country was in good keeping with +the wild and stormy character of the morning. Before them, in the back +ground, rose a magnificent range of mountains, whose snowy peaks were +occasionally seen far above the dusky clouds which drifted rapidly +across their bosoms. The whole landscape, in fact, teemed with a +spirit of savage grandeur. Many of the glens on each side were deep +and precipitous, where rock beetled over rock, and ledge projected over +ledge, in a manner so fearful that the mind of the spectator, excited +and rapt into terror by the contemplation of them, wondered why they did +not long ago tumble into the chasm beneath, so slight was their apparent +support. Even in the mildest, seasons desolation brooded over the lesser +hills and mountains about them; what then must it not have been at the +period we are describing? From a hill a little to the right, over which +they had to pass, a precipitous headland was visible, against which the +mighty heavings of the ocean could be heard hoarsely thundering at a +distance, and the giant billows, in periods of storm and tempest, seen +shivering themselves into white; foam that rose nearly to the summit of +their immovable barriers. + +Such was the toilsome country over which our two travellers had to pass. + +It was not without difficulty and fatigue that the priest and his +companion wended their way towards one of the moors we have, mentioned. +The snow beat against them with great violence, sometimes rendering +it almost impossible for them to keep their eyes open or to see +their proper path across the hills. The woman, however, trod her +way instinctively, and whilst the, priest aided her by his superior +strength, she in return guided him by a clearer sagacity. Neither spoke +much, for in truth each had enough to do in combating with the toil and +peril of the journey, as well as in thinking of the melancholy scene to +which they were hastening. Words of consolation and comfort he did +from time to time utter; but he felt that his situation was one of +difficulty. To inspire hope where there was probably no hope, might be +only to deepen her affliction; and, on the other hand, to weigh down a +heart already heavy laden by unnecessarily adding one gloomy forboding +to its burthen, was not in his nature. Such comfort as he could give +without bearing too strongly upon either her hopes or her fears he did +give; and we do not think that an apostle, had he been in his place, +could or ought to have done more. + +They had now arrived within half a mile of the moor, when they felt +themselves overtaken by a man whose figure was of a very singular and +startling description, being apparently as wild and untamed as the +barren waste on which he made his appearance. He was actually two or +three inches above the common height, but in addition to this fact, and +as if not satisfied with it, he wore three hats, one sheathed a little +into the other, so that they could not readily separate, and the under +one he kept always fastened to his head, in order to prevent the whole +pyramid from falling off. His person seemed to gain still greater height +from the circumstance of his wearing a long surtout that reached to his +heels, and which he kept constantly buttoned closely about him. His feet +were cased in a tight pair of leather buskins, for it was one of his +singularities that he could endure neither boot nor shoe, and he always +wore a glove of some kind on his left hand, but never any on his right. +His features might be termed regular, even handsome; and his eyes were +absolutely brilliant, yet, notwithstanding this, it was impossible to +look for a moment upon his _tout ensemble_ without perceiving that that +spirit which stamps the impress of reason and intellect upon the human +countenance, was not visible in his. Like a new and well-proportioned +house which had never been occupied, everything seemed externally +regular and perfect, whilst it was evident by its still and lonely +character, as contrasted with the busy marks of on-going life in those +around it, that it was void and without an inhabitant. + +Like many others of his unhappy class, Poll Doolin's son, +"Raymond-na-hattha," for it was he, and so had he been nick-named, +in consequence of his wearing such a number of hats, had a remarkable +mixture of humor, simplicity, and cunning. He entertained a great +penchant, or rather a passion for cock-fighting, and on the present +occasion carried a game one under his arm. Throughout the country no +man possessed a bird of that species, with whose pedigree he was not +thoroughly acquainted; and, truth to tell, he proved himself as great +a thief as he was a genealogist among them. Many a time the unfortunate +foxes from some neighboring cover were cursed and banned, when, if +the truth had been known, the only fox that despoiled the roost was +Raymond-na-hattha. One thing, however, was certain, that unless the +cock was thoroughly game he might enjoy his liberty and ease long enough +without molestation from Raymond. We had well nigh forgotten to say that +he wore on the right side of his topmost hat a cockade of yellow cloth, +from which two or three ribbons of a scarlet color fluttered down to his +shoulder, a bit of vanity which added very much to the fantastic nature +of his general costume. + +"Ha! Raymond, my good boy," said the priest, "how does it happen +that you are so early up this stormy morning? would you not be more +comfortable in your bed?" + +"Airly up," replied Raymond, "airly up! that's good--to be sure you're a +priest, but you don't know everything." + +"Why, what am I ignorant of now, Raymond?" + +"Why, that I didn't go to bed yet--so that it's up late, instead of +early, I am--d'ye hear? ha, ha, now take that." + +"When, where, and how did you spend the night then, Raymond; but you +seem in a hurry--surely if you trot on at this fate we cannot keep up +with you." The truth is, Raymond's general rate of travelling was very +rapid. "Where did you spend the night, Raymond," continued the priest. + +"Wid a set o' jolly cocks--ha, ha,--now make money of that, d'ye hear." + +"You're a riddle, Raymond; you're a riddle; there's no understanding +you--where did you get the cock?--but I needn't ask; of course you stole +him." + +"Then why do you ax if you think so?" + +"Because you're notorious for stealing cocks--every one knows as much." + +"No, never steal 'em,--fond o' me--come wid me themselves. Look." The +words were scarcely uttered when he tossed the bird up into the air, and +certainly, after flying about for a few yards, he alit, and tottering +against the wind towards Raymond, stretched out his neck, as if he +wished to be again taken up by him. + +"I see," said the priest, "but answer me--where did you spend last night +now?" + +"I tould you," said Raymond, "wid de jolly cocks--sure I mostly roost +it; an' better company too than most people, for they're fond o' me. +Didn't you see? ha, ha!" + +"I believe I understand you now," said Father Roche; "you've slept near +somebody's hen roost, and have stolen the cock--to whom are you carrying +it?" + +"You won't tell to-morrow; ha, ha, there now, take a rub too--that's +one." + +"Poor creature," said the priest to his companion, "I am told he is +affectionate, and where he takes a fancy or has received a kindness, +very grateful." + +The parish where the circumstances we are describing occurred, having +been that in which Raymond was born, of course the poor fool was +familiar to every one in it, as indeed every one in it, young and old, +was to him. + +During the short dialogue between him and the priest, the female, +absorbed in her own heavy sorrow, was observed by Raymond occasionally +to wipe the tears from her eyes; a slight change, a shade of apparent +compassion came over his countenance, and turning to her, he gently laid +his hand upon her shoulder, and said, in a voice different from, his +flighty and abrupt manner-- + +"Don't cry, Mary, he has company, and good things that were brought to +him--he has indeed, Mary; so don't be crying now." + +"What do you mean, poor boy?" asked the woman; "I don't understand you, +Raymond." + +"It is difficult to do that at all times," said Father Roche, "but +notwithstanding the wildness of his manner, he is seldom without +meaning. Raymond will you tell me where you came from now?" he asked. + +"From your house," he replied; "I went to fetch you to him; but you were +both gone, and I overtook you--I could aisy do that--ha ha." + +"But what is the company that's with him, Raymond?" asked the female, +naturally anxious to understand this part of his communication. Raymond, +however, was now in one of his silent moods, and appeared not to hear +her; at all events, he did not think it worth his while to give her any +reply. For a short period he kept murmuring indistinctly to himself, or +if a word or two became audible, it was clear that his favorite sport of +cock-fighting had altogether engrossed his attention. + +They had now reached a rough, dark knoll of heath, which brought them +in view of the cabin to which they were going, and also commanded an +extensive and glorious prospect of the rich and magnificent inland +country which lay behind them. The priest and his now almost exhausted +companion, to whom its scenery was familiar, waited not to look back +upon its beauty or its richness. Not so Raymond, who, from the moment +they began to ascend the elevation, kept constantly looking back, and +straining his eyes in one particular direction. At length he started, +and placing his right hand upon the priest's shoulder, said in a +suppressed but eager voice-- + +"Go on--go on--they're coming." Then, turning to the female--"Come," +said he; "come, Mary,--I'll help you." + +"Who is coming?" she exclaimed, whilst the paleness of death and terror +settled in her face; "for God's mercy, Raymond, who is coming?" + +"I saw them," said he; "I saw them. Come--come fast--I'll help +you--don't thrimble--don't thrimble." + +"Let us be guided by him," said the priest. "Raymond," he added, "we +cannot go much faster through this marshy heath, but do you aid Mary as +well as you can; as for me, I will try if it be possible to quicken my +pace." + +He accordingly proceeded in advance of the other two for a little; +but it was only for a little. The female--who seemed excited by some +uncommon terror, and the wild, apprehensive manner of her companion, +into something not unlike the energy of despair--rushed on, as if she +had been only setting out, or gained supernatural strength. In a few +minutes she was beside the priest, whom she encouraged, and besought, +and entreated--ay, and in some moments of more vehement feeling, +absolutely chided, for not keeping pace with herself. They had now, +however, came within about a hundred yards of the cabin, which they soon +reached--the female entering it about a minute or two before the others, +in order to make those humble arrangements about a sick-bed, which, +however poverty may be forced to overlook on ordinary occasions, are +always attended to on the approach of the doctor, or the minister of +religion. In the instance before us, she had barely time to comfort her +sick husband, by an assurance that the priest had arrived, after which +she hastily wiped his lips and kissed them, then settled his head more +easily; after which she spread out to the best advantage the poor quilt +which covered him, and tucked it in about his lowly bed, so as to give +it something of a more tidy appearance. + +The interior of the cottage, which the priest and Raymond entered +together, was, when the bitter and inclement nature of the morning, and +the state of the miserable inmates is considered, enough to make any +heart possessing humanity shudder. Two or three stools; a couple of +pots; a few shelves, supported on pegs driven into the peat wall; +about a bushel of raw potatoes lying in a corner; a small heap of damp +turf--for the foregoing summer had been so incessantly wet, that the +turf, unless when very early cut, could not be saved; a few wooden +noggins and dishes; together with a bundle of straw, covered up in a +corner with the sick man's coat, which, when shaken out at night, was +a bed; and those, with the exception of their own simple domestic truth +and affection, were their only riches. The floor, too, as is not unusual +in such mountain cabins, was nothing but the natural peat, and so +damp and soft was it, that in wet weather the marks of their feet were +visibly impressed on it at every step. With the exception of liberty to +go and come, pure air, and the light of the blessed day, they might as +well have dragged out their existence in a subterraneous keep belonging +to some tyrannical old baron of the feudal ages. + +There was one small apartment in this cabin, but what it contained, +if it did contain anything, could not readily be seen, for the hole or +window, which in summer admitted the light, was now filled with rags +to keep out the cold. From this little room, however, the priest as he +entered, was surprised to see a young man come forth, apparently much +moved by some object which he had seen in it. + +"Mr. Harman," said the priest, a good deal surprised, "who could have +expected to find you here?" + +They shook hands as he spoke, each casting his eyes upon this woeful +scene of misery. "God pity them," ejaculated the priest, clasping his +hands, and looking upwards, "and sustain them!" + +"I owe it to poor Raymond, here," replied the other, "and I feel obliged +to him; but," said he, taking Father Roche over to the door, "here will +be a double death--father and son." + +"Father and son, how is that?--she mentioned nothing of the son." + +"It is very possible," said Harman, "that they are not conscious of his +danger. I fear, however, that the poor boy has not many hours to live." + +All that we have just described, occurred in three minutes; but short +as was the time, the wife's impatience to have the rites of the church +administered, could scarcely be restrained; nor was poor Raymond's +anxiety much less. + +"They're comin'," said he, "Mr. Harman, they are comin'; hurry, hurry, I +know what they'll do." + +"Who are coming, Raymond?" asked Harman. "Oh!" said the fool, +"hurry--M'Clutchy's blood-hounds." + +The wife clapped her hands, shrieked, and falling on her knees, +exclaimed in a piercing voice, "merciful God, look down on us! Oh, +Father Roche, there is not a moment to be lost!" + +The priest and Harman again exchanged a melancholy glance;--"you +must all retire into the little room," said the clergyman, "until I +administer to him the last rites." + +They accordingly withdrew, the woman having first left a lit rush light +candle at his bed-side, as she knew the ceremony required. + +The man's strength was wasting fast, and his voice sinking rapidly, +but on the other hand he was calm and rational, a circumstance which +relieved the priest's mind very much. As is usual, having put a stole +about his neck, he first heard his confession, earnestly exhorted him +to repentance, and soothed and comforted him with all those promises +and consolations which are held out to repentant sinners. He then +administered the Extreme Unction; which being over, the ceremony, and +a solemn one it must be considered, was concluded. On this occasion, +however, his death-bed consolations did not end here. There are in the +Roman Catholic Church prayers for the dying, many of them replete with +the fervor of Christian faith, and calculated to raise the soul to the +hopes of immortality. These the priest read in a slow manner, so as that +the dying man could easily accompany him, which he did with his hands +clasped, upon his breast, and his eyes closed, unless when he raised +them occasionally to heaven. He then exhorted him with an anxiety for +his salvation which transcended all earthly and temporal considerations, +prayed with him and for him, whilst the tears streamed in torrents down +his cheeks. Nor was the spirit of his holy mission lost; the penitent +man's face assumed a placid and serene expression; the light of immortal +hope beamed upon it; and raising his eyes and his feeble arms to heaven, +he uttered several ejaculations in a tone of voice too low to be heard. +At length he exclaimed aloud, "thanks to the Almighty that I did not +commit this murder as I intended! I found it done to my hand; but +I don't know who did it, as I am to meet my God!" The words were +pronounced with difficulty; indeed they were scarcely uttered, when his +arms fell lifelessly, as it were, by his side--they were again suddenly +drawn up, however, as if by a convulsive motion, and the priest saw +that the agonies of death were about to commence; still, it was easy to +perceive that the man was collected and rational. + +It was now, however, that a scene took place, which could not, we +imagine, be witnessed out of distracted and unhappy Ireland. Raymond, +who appeared to dread the approach of those whom he termed M'Clutchy's +blood-hounds, no sooner saw that the religious rites were concluded, +than he ran out to reconnoitre. In a moment, however, he returned a +picture of terror, and dragging the woman to the door, pointed to a +declivity below the house, exclaiming-- + +[Illustration: PAGE 186-- See, Mary, see--they're gallopin] + +"See, Mary, see--they're gallopin'." The dying man seemed conscious of +what was said, for the groan he gave was wild and startling; his wife +dropped on her knees at the door, where she could watch her husband and +those who approached, and clasping her hands, exclaimed, "To your mercy, +O Lord of heaven, to your mercy take him, before he falls into their +hands, that will show him none!" She then bestowed upon him a look full +of an impatient agony, which no language could describe; her eyes had +already become wild and piercing--her cheek flushed--and her frame +animated with a spirit that seemed to partake at once of terror, intense +hatred, and something like frenzy. + +"They are gallopin'! they are gallopin'!" she said, "and they will find +life in him!" She then wrung her hands, but shed not a tear--"speed, +Hugh," she said, "speed, speed, husband of my heart--the arms of God are +they not open for you, and why do you stay?" These sentiments, we +should have informed our readers, were uttered, or rather chaunted in +a recitative of sorrow, in Irish; Irish being the language in which +the peasantry who happen to speak both it and English, always express +themselves when more than usually excited. "The sacred oil of salvation +is upon you--the sacrament of peace and forgiveness has lightened your +soul--the breath of mercy is the breath you're breathin'--the hope of +Jesus is in your heart, and the intercession of his blessed mother, she +that knew sorrow herself, is before you! Then, light of my heart, the +arms of God are they not open for you, and why do you stay here?" + +"Nearer--nearer," she exclaimed, "they are nearer--whippin' and spurrin' +their horses! Hugh O'Regan, that was the sun of my life, and of my +heart, and ever without a cloud, hasten to the God of mercy! Oh, surely, +you will not blame your own Mary that was your lovin' wife--and the +treasure of your young and manly heart, for wishin' to see you taken +from her eyes--and for wishing to see the eyes that,never looked upon +us all but with love and kindness, closed on us forever. Oh," said she, +putting her hands to her forehead, "an' is it--is it come to this--that +I that was dearer to him than his own life a thousand times, should now +be glad to see him die--be glad to see him die! Oh! they are here," +she shrieked, "before the door--you may hear their horses' feet! +Hugh O'Regan," and her voice became louder and more energetic--"the +white-skinned--the fair of hair, the strong of hand, and the true of +heart--as you ever loved me that was once your happy bride--as you ever +loved the religion of our holy church--as you hope for happiness and +mercy, hasten from me--from our orphan--from all--oh, hasten to the arms +of your God!" + +During this scene there was a solemn silence in the house, the priest +and Harman having both been struck mute at the solemnity of the scene. + +"They are here--they are here!" she screamed. "Oh, sun of my heart, +think not now of me, nor of the children of your love, for we will +follow you in time--but think of the happy country you're going to,--to +live in the sunshine of heaven, among saints and angels for ever! Oh, +sun of my heart, think too of what you lave behind you! What is it? +Oh! what is it to you--but poverty, and misery, and hardship--the cowld +cabin and the damp bed--the frost of the sky--the frown of power, and +the scourge of law--all this, oh, right hand of my affection, with the +hard labor and the scanty food, do you fly from! Sure we had no friend +in this world to protect or defend us against them that, would trample +us under their feet! No friend for us because we are poor, and no friend +for our religion because it is despised. Then hasten, hasten, O light of +my heart--and take refuge in the mercy of your God!" + +"Mary," said the priest, who had his eyes fixed upon the sick man, "Give +God thanks, he is dead--and beyond the reach of human enmity forever." + +She immediately prostrated herself on the floor in token of humility and +thanksgiving--then raising her eyes to heaven, she said, "may the heart +of the woeful widow be grateful to the God who has taken him to his +mercy before they came upon him! But here they are, and now I am not +afraid of them. They can't insult my blessed husband now, nor murdher +him, as his father's villains did our dyin' son, on the cowld Esker of +Drum Dhu; nor disturb him with their barbarous torments on the bed of +death--and glory be to God for that!" + +Many of our readers may be led to imagine that the terrors of Mary +O'Regan were altogether unproportioned to anything that might be +apprehended from the approach of the officers of justice, or, at least +to those who came to execute the law. The state of Irish society at that +time, however, was very different from what it is now, or has been for +the last twenty years. At that period one party was in the ascendant and +the other directly under their feet; the former was in the possession +of irresponsible power, and the other, in many matters, without any +tribunal whatsoever to which, they could appeal. The Established Church +of Ireland was then a sordid corporation, whose wealth was parcelled +out, not only without principle, but without shame, to the English and +Irish aristocracy, but principally to the English. Church livings were +not filled with men remarkable for learning and piety, but awarded to +political prostitution, and often to young rakes of known and unblushing +profligacy, connected with families of rank. The consequence was, that +a gross secular spirit, replete with political hatred and religious +rancor, was the only principle which existed in the place of true +religion. That word was then, except in rare cases indeed, a dead +letter; for such was the state of Protestant society then, and for +several years afterwards, that it mattered not how much or how little a +man of that creed knew about the principles of his own church; and as +it was administered the less he knew of it the better--all that was +necessary to constitute a good Protestant was "to hate the Pope." In +truth--for it cannot be concealed, and we write it with deep pain and +sorrow--the Established Church of Ireland was then, in point of fact, +little else than a mere political engine held by the English government +for the purpose of securing the adherence of those who were willing to +give support to their measures. + +In such a state of things, then, it need not be wondered at, that, +neglected and secularized as it was at the period we write of, it should +produce a class of men, whose passions in everything connected with +religion and politics were intolerant and exclusive. Every church, no +matter what its creed, unfortunately has its elect of such professors. +Nor were these confined to the lower classes alone--far from it. The +squire and nobleman were too frequently both alike remarkable for the +exhibition of such principles. Of this class was our friend M'Clutchy, +who was now a justice of the peace, a grand juror, and a captain of +cavalry--his corps having, a little time before, been completed. With +this posse, as the officers of justice, the pranks he played were +grievous to think of or to remember. He and they were, in fact, the +terror of the whole Roman Catholic population; and from the spirit in +which they executed justice, were seldom called by any other name than +that of M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds. Upon the present occasion they were +unaccompanied by M'Clutchy himself--a circumstance which was not to +be regretted, as there was little to be expected from his presence but +additional brutality and insult. + +On arriving at the door, they hastily dismounted, and rushed into the +cabin with their usual violence and impetuosity, each being armed with a +carbine and bayonet. + +"Hallo!" said the leader, whose name was Sharpe; "what's here? shamming +sickness is it?" + +"No," said Father Roche; "it is death?" + +"Ay! shamming death then. Never mind--we'll soon see that. Come, Steele, +give him a prod--a gentle one--and I'll engage it'll make him find +tongue, if anything will." + +Steele, to whom this was addressed, drew his bayonet, and commenced +screwing it on, for the purpose of executing his orders. + +"A devilish good trick, too," said he; "and the first of the kind that +has been practised on us yet--here goes--" + +Up until this moment O'Regan's wife sat beside the dead body of +her husband, without either word or motion. A smile of--it might +be satisfaction, perhaps even joy, at his release; or it might be +hatred--was on her face, and in her eye; but when the man pointed his +bayonet at the corpse of her husband, she started to her knees, and +opening out her arms, exclaimed-- + +"Here's my heart--and through that heart your bayonet will go, before it +touches his body. Oh, if you have hearts in your bodies, you will surely +spare the dead!" + +"Here goes, ma'am," he repeated, "and you had better lave that--we're +not in the habit of being checked by the like of you, at any rate, or +any of your creed." + +"I am not afeared to profess my creed--nor ashamed of it," she +exclaimed; and if it went to that, I would die for it--but I tell you, +that before your bayonet touches the dead body of my husband, it must +pass through my heart!" + +"Don't be alarmed, Mary," said the priest; "they surely cannot be +serious. It's not possible that any being in the shape of man could be +guilty of such a sacrilegious outrage upon the dead as they threaten." + +"What is it your business?" said the leader; "go and tare off your +masses, and be hanged; none of your Popish interference here, or it'll +be worse for you! I say the fellow's not dead--he's only skeining. Come, +Alick, put the woman aside, and tickle him up." + +"Keep aside, I tell you," said Steele, again addressing her--"keep +aside, my good woman, till I obey my orders--and don't provoke me." + +Father Roche was again advancing to remonstrate with him, for the man's +determination seemed likely to get stronger by opposition--when, just as +the bayonet which had already passed under the woman's arm, was within a +few inches of O'Regan's body, he felt himself dragged forcibly back, +and Raymond-na-hattha stood before him, having seized both carbine and +bayonet with a strong grip. + +"Don't do that," he exclaimed--"don't--you'd hurt him--sure you'd hurt +poor Hugh!" + +The touching simplicity of this language, which, to a heart possessing +the least tincture of humanity, would have more, force than the +strongest argument, was thrown away upon him to whom it was directed. + +"Fling the blasted idiot off," shouted Sharpe; "don't you see he has let +the cat out o' the bag--how could the man be hurted if he was dead; I +knew it was a schame." To throw Raymond off, however, was easier said +than done, as the fellow found on attempting it. A struggle commenced +between them, which, though violent, was not of long duration. Raymond's +eye got turbid, and glared with a fiery light; but otherwise his +complexion did not change. By a vehement twist, he wrenched the arms +out of Steele's hands, hurling him from him at the same time, with such +force, that he fell on the floor with a crash. + +"Now," said he, pointing the bayonet to his neck, "would you like +it?---ha, ha!--think of that." + +Four carbines--the whole party consisting of five--were immediately +levelled at him; and it is not improbable that half a minute more would +have closed both his existence and his history, had not Father Roche and +the widow both succeeded, with some difficulty, in drawing him back from +the prostrate officer of justice. Raymond, after a little time, gave up +the arms; but his eye still blazed at his opponent, with a glare that +could not be misunderstood. + +Harman, who had hitherto taken no part whatsoever in the altercation, +now interfered; and with feelings which he found it nearly impossible to +restrain, pointed out to them the wanton cruelty of such conduct towards +both the living and the dead. "I am ashamed of you," said he, "as +countrymen, as Irishmen. Your treatment of this poor heartbroken woman, +amidst her desolation and sorrow, is a disgrace to the country that +gave you birth, and to the religion you profess, if, indeed, you profess +any." + +"Come, come, my good fellow," said Sharpe, "what is it you say about my +religion? I tell you I'll allow no man to spake a syllable against my +religion; so keep quiet if you're wise, and don't attack that, otherwise +don't be surprised if I make you dance the devil's hornpipe in half a +shake, great a hairo as you are." + +"And yet you felt no scruple in just now insulting religion, in the +person of this reverend gentleman who never offended you." + +"Him! why what the hell is he but a priest?" + +"And the more entitled to your respect on that account--but since you +are so easily excited in defence of your own creed, why so ready to +attack in such offensive and insulting language that of another?" + +"Come, come, Sharpe," said another of them, "are we to be here all +day--whatever we're to do let us do it at once; if the fellow's dead, +why he has had a devilish good escape of it, and if not, let us clap him +on a horse, that is, provided he's able to travel. I think myself he has +got the start of us, and that the wind's out of him." + +"Take your time," said Steele, who felt anxious to avenge his defeat +upon some one, "we must know, that before ever we leave the house--and +by the great Boyne, the first person that goes between me and him will +get the contents of this," and as he uttered the words he coolly and +deliberately cocked the gun, and was advancing as before to the dead +body. + +"Holdback," said Harman, in a voice which made the man start, whilst +with a firm tread and resolute eye, he stood face to face before him; +"hold back, and dare not violate that sacred and awful privilege, which +in every country and creed under heaven is sufficient to protect the +defenceless dead. What can be your object in this? are you men--have +you the spirit, the courage, of men? If you are human beings, is not +the sight of that unhappy fellow-creature--I hope he is happy +now,--stretched out in death before you, sufficient, by the very +stillness of departed life, to calm the brutal frenzy of your passions! +Have you common courage? No; I tell you to your teeth that none but +spiritless caitiffs and cowards would, in the presence of death and +sorrow--in the miserable cabin of the destitute widow and her orphan +boy--exhibit the ruffianly outrages of men who are wanton in their +cruelty, merely because they know there is none to resist them; and I +may add, because they think that their excesses, however barbarous, will +be shielded by higher authority. No, I tell you, if there stood man for +man before you, even without arms in their hands, you would not dare to +act and swagger as you do, or to play these cruel pranks of oppression +and tyranny anywhere, much less in the house of death and affliction. +Fie upon you, you are a disgrace to everything that is human, a reproach +to every feeling of manhood, and every principle of religion." + +Hardened as they were by the habits of their profligate and debasing +employment, such was the ascendancy of manly truth and and moral feeling +over them, that for a minute or two they quailed under the indignant +glance of Harman. Steele drew back his gun, and looked round on his +companions to ascertain their feeling. + +"Gentleman," said Father Roche, anxious to mollify them as much as he +could--"gentleman, for the sake of that poor heart-broken widowed woman +and her orphan son--for her and his sake, and if not for theirs then, +for the sake of God himself, before whose awful judgment-seat we must +all stand to render an account of our works, I entreat--I implore you to +withdraw--do, gentlemen, and leave her and her children to their sorrows +and their misery, for the world has little else for them." + +"I'm willing to go," said a fellow, ironically called Handsome Hacket, +because he was blind of an eye and deeply pock-pitted--"there's no use +in quarrellin' with a woman certainly--and I don't think there can be +any doubt about the man's death; devil a bit." + +"Well said, Vainus," exclaimed Sharpe, "and it is not ten days since +we were defrauded of Parra Rackan who escaped from us in Jemmy Reilly's +coffin--when we thought to nab him in the wakehouse--and when we went +away didn't they set him at large, and then go back to bury the man that +was dead. Now, how da you know, Vainus, my purty boy, that this fellow's +not playin' us a trick o' the same color?" + +"Come, come," said another of them who had not yet spoke, "it's aisy +to know that. Curse me, Steele, if you don't give him a tickle, I +will--that's all--we're losin' the day and I want my breakfast Living +or dead, and be hanged to him, I'm starved for want of something to +eat--and to drink, too--so be quick I tell you." + +"Very well, my buck," said Steele--"that's your sort--here goes--" + +He once more advanced with a savage determination to effect his +purpose--when the priest gently and in a mild spirit of remonstrance +laid his hand upon his shoulder; but he had scarcely done so, when +one of them seized him by the collar and flung, or rather attempted to +fling, him back with great violence. + +"Go on, Steele," shouted the last speaker, whose name was Harpur--"Go +on--and be cursed, man, we will support you." + +The words, however, were scarcely out of his lips, when Raymond, his eye +glaring like that of a tiger with the wildness of untamed resentment, +sprang upon him with a bound, and in a moment they once more grappled +together. It was, however, only for a moment--for by the heavy blow he +received from Raymond, the man staggered and fell, but ere he reached +the ground, the gun, which had been ineffectually aimed at the poor +fool, went off, and lodged its contents in the heart of the last +speaker, who staggered, groaned, and fell lifeless where he stood. + +For a minute or so, this fatal and unexpected catastrophe stunned them. +They looked upon each other amazed and apparently stupefied, "What," +cried Sharpe, "is Harpur dead?" Two of them then placed their arms +against the wall in order to ascertain the exact nature of the injury +inflicted. + +At this moment, Sharpe, who saw at once the man was indeed lifeless, +raised his gun about to take aim at Raymond, when a blow from Harman +felled him to the earth. + +"And here's for your kindness, Mister Harman," shouted Steele; but +ere the words were uttered, O'Regan's wife threw herself upon him +so effectually, that he felt it impossible to avail himself of his +fire-arms. + +"Fight now," she shouted in Irish, "it is for your lives--it is for the +widow--for the orphan--for the bed of death--and the dead that's upon +it--fight now--for God will be with us! May his strength and power be +in your arms and your hearts, prays the woeful widow this day! +Villain--villain," she shouted, "I have you powerless now--but it's the +strength of God that is in me, and not my own!" + +The conflict that ensued now was bitter, savage, deadly. The moment +Sharpe was knocked down, Raymond flew to their firearms, handed one to +Harman, and kept the other himself. The men who used them were fierce, +and powerful, and cruel. In a moment a furious contest took place. The +four men immediately grappled, each one attempting to wrest the gun +from his antagonist. Raymond, whose passions were now roused so as to +resemble the ravenous fury of madness itself, at one time howled like +a beast of prey, and shouted, and screamed, and laughed with maniac +wildness that was enough to make almost any heart quail. His eyes +blazed, his figure dilated, his muscles stood out, his mouth was white +with froth, and his eyebrows were knit into a deep and deadly scowl. +Altogether his appearance was frightful and appalling. + +Harman was still better matched, and the struggle with his foe was for +some time doubtful enough, the latter being one of the strongest and +most resolute men in the whole parish. A powerful tug for the gun now +took place, each pulling in opposite directions with all his might. At +length a thought struck Harman, who all at once let the gun go, when +the other having no longer any resisting power to sustain him, fell back +upon the floor, and in an instant Harman's knee was on his chest and the +gun in his possession. The man ground his teeth, and looking up into his +face with a black scowl of hatred, exclaimed-- + +"It is your turn now, but I will have mine." + +"You have had yours too long, villain," replied the other, "but in +the mean time I will teach you to respect the bed of death and the +afflictions of the widow." + +Saying which, he vigorously applied the butt of the gun to his ribs, +until he had rendered him anything but disposed for further conflict. + +Both victories were achieved much about the same time; Raymond's +opponent being far the more severely punished of the two. "What, +however, was their surprise after each had expelled his man from the +cabin, to find Steele down, his gun lying on one side. O'Regan's wife +fastened on his throat, and himself panting and almost black in the +face! + +"Here now," she exclaimed, "the battle of the widow was well fought, +and God gave us strength. Put this man out with the rest." This was +accordingly done, but as in the case of his companions, the gun for the +present was retained. + +"See now," she proceeded, still in Irish, "what the hand of a weak +woman can do, when her heart is strengthened by God, against cruelty and +oppression. What made that strong man weak in my grasp? Because he knew +that the weakness of the widow was his shame--the touch of her hand took +away his strength; and what had he within or about him to depend upon? +could he look in upon his wicked heart, and be strong? could he look +upon the darkness of a bad conscience, and be strong? could he look on +me--upon my dead husband, and his bed of death, and be strong? No--and +above all, could he look up to the Almighty God in heaven, and be +strong--no--no--no--but from all these I gained strength--for surely, +surely, I had it not in myself!" + +She uttered these sentiments with wonderful energy, and indeed, from +the fire in her eye, and the flush of her cheek, it was evident she +was highly excited. Father Roche, who had been engaged, and indeed, had +enough to do in keeping the poor child quiet and aloof from the fray, +especially from his mother--now entreated that she would endeavor to +compose herself, as she had reason to thank God, he said, that neither +she herself nor her resolute defenders had sustained any personal +injury. She did not seem to have heard him--for on looking on the body +of her husband she almost bounded over to the bed, and kneeling down +rapturously, and in a spirit of enthusiastic triumph, kissed his lips. + +"Now, my husband," said she, "we have fought and gained the victory--no +insult did you get--no dishonor on your lowly bed where you're sleepin' +your last sleep. Hugh, do you know, asthore, how the wife of your heart +fought for you? Your own poor, weak, sorrowful, heart-broken, but loving +wife, that was as feeble as an infant this mornin'! But who gave her +the strength to put down a strong and wicked man'? The God--the good +God--and to him be the glory!--in whose bosom you are now happy. Ay, we +conquered--ha--ha--ha--we conquered--we conquered--ha--ha--ha!" + +The dead body of Harpur in the meantime had been removed by his +companions, who it was evident felt as much, if not more bitterness at +their own defeat, than they did by the fatal accident which deprived him +of life. + +Scarcely had the wild triumph of O'Regan's wife time to subside, when +it soon became evident that the tragical incidents of this bitter and +melancholy morning were not yet completed. + +The child alluded to by Harman in his first brief conversation with +Father Roche, had been for some time past in a much more dangerous state +than his parents suspected, or at least than his unhappy mother did, +whose principal care was engrossed by the situation of her husband. +The poor boy, at all times affectionate and uncomplaining, felt loth to +obtrude his little wants and sufferings upon her attention, knowing +as he did, that, owing to the nursing of his father, she was scarcely +permitted three hours sleep out of the twenty-four. If he could have +been afforded even the ordinary comforts of a sick-bed, it is possible +he might have recovered. The only drink he could call for was "the black +water," as it is termed by the people, and his only nutrition a dry +potato, which he could not take; the bed he lay upon was damp straw, yet +did this patient child never utter a syllable to dishearten his mother, +or deepen the gloom which hung over the circumstances of the family, +and his father's heart. When asked how he was, he uniformly replied +"better," and his large lucid eyes would faintly smile upon his mother, +as if to give her hope, after which the desolate boy would amuse himself +by handling the bedclothes as invalids often do, or play with the humid +straw of his cold and miserable bed, or strive to chat with his mother. + +These details are very painful to those whose hearts are so elegantly +and fashionably tender that they recoil with humane horror from scenes +of humble wretchedness and destitution. It is good, however, that they +should be known to exist, for we assure the great and wealthy that +they actually do exist, and may be found in all their sharpness and +melancholy truth within the evening shadow which falls from many a proud +and wealthy dwelling in this our native land. + +After all, it is likely, that had not the fearful occurrences of this +morning taken place, their sweet boy might have been spared to them. The +shock, however, occasioned by the discharge of the gun, and the noise +of the conflict, acting upon a frame so feeble were more than he could +bear. Be this as it may, the constables were not many minutes gone, +when, to their surprise, he staggered back again out of his little +room, where Father Roche had placed him, and tottering across the floor, +slipped in the deceased man's blood, and fell. The mother flew to him, +but Harman had already raised him up; when on his feet, he looked at +the blood and shuddered--a still more deadly paleness settled on his +face--his breath came short, and his lips got dry and parched--he could +not speak nor stand, had not Harman supported him. He looked again at +the blood with horror, and then at his mother, whilst he shrank up, as +it were, into himself, and shivered from head to foot. + +"Darling of my heart," she exclaimed, "I understand you. Bryan, our +treasure, be a man for the sake of your poor heart-broken mother--I +will, I will, my darling life, I will wipe it off of you, every stain of +it--why should such blood and my innocent son come together?" + +She now got a cloth, and in a few moments left not a trace of it upon +him. He had not yet spoken, but on finding himself cleansed from it, he +stretched out his hands, thereby intimating that he wished to go to her. + +"Do you not perceive a bottle on the shelf there?" said Harman, "it +contains wine which I brought for his--," he checked himself;--"Alas! +my poor boy," he exclaimed involuntarily, "you are doubly dear to +your-mother now. Mix it with water," he proceeded, "and give him a +little, it will strengthen and revive him." + +"Better," said Father Roche in a low voice, not intended for his, "to +put him back into his own bed; he is not now in a state to be made +acquainted with his woeful loss." As he spoke the boy glanced at the +corpse of his father, and almost at the same moment his mother put wine +and water to his lips. He was about to taste it, but on looking into +the little tin porringer that contained it, he put it away from him, and +shuddered strongly. + +"It's mixed with the blood," said he, "and I can't;" and again he put it +away from him. + +"Bryan, asthore," said his mother, "it's not blood; sure it's wine that +Mr. Harman, the blessin' of God be upon him, brought to you." + +He turned away again, however, and would not take it. "Bring me to my +father," said he, once more stretching out his arms towards his mother, +"let me stay a while with him." + +"But he's asleep, Bryan," said Harman, "and I'm sure you would not wish +to awaken him." + +"I would like to kiss him then," he replied, "and to sleep a while with +him." + +"Och, let him, poor darling," said his mother, as she took him in her +arms, "it may ease his little heart, and then he'll feel satisfied." + +"Well, if you're allowed to go to him won't you lie very quiet, and not +speak so as to disturb him?" said Harman. + +"I'm tired," said the child, "and I'd like to sleep in his bed. I used +sometimes to do it before, and my father always kept his arms about me." + +His mother's features became convulsed, and she looked up in mute +affliction to heaven; but still, notwithstanding her misery, she was +unable to shed one tear. + +"Pulse of my heart" (cushla machree), she said, kissing him, "you +must have your innocent and loving wish." She then gently raised the +bed-clothes and placed him beside his father. + +The poor pale boy sat up in the bed for about a minute, during which he +glanced at the still features of the departed, then at his mother, and +then at the pool of blood on the floor, and again he shuddered. All at +once, however, he started and looked about him; but in a manner +that betokened delight rather than alarm--his eyes brightened--and an +expression almost of radiance settled upon his face. "Mother," said he, +"kiss me, and let Mr. Harman kiss me." + +They both did so, and his poor mother felt her heart relieved, by the +happiness depicted on his face. "Glory be to God," she exclaimed, "see +what a change for the better has come over my blessed child." + +Father Roche looked at Harman, and shook his head--"Blessed he will be +soon," said he, in a low whisper, "the child is dying." + +The boy started again, and the former serenity lit up his pale features. + +"Bryan, you are better, darling of my life; you look a thousand pounds +better than you did awhile ago." + +The boy looked into her face and smiled.---"I am," said he, "but did you +not hear it?" + +"Hear what, jewel of my heart?" + +"There it is again;" said he, looking eagerly and delightfully about +him, "my father's voice;--that's three times it called, me, but it +didn't come from the bed, although he's in it. I will kiss him and then +sleep--but I will miss his arms from about me, I think." + +He then fixed himself beside that loving parent, aided by his mother, +and getting his arm around his pulseless neck, he kissed him, and laying +down his fair head, he fell asleep in that affecting posture. There was +a solemn stillness for some minutes, and a strange feeling of fear crept +over his mother's heart. She looked into the eyes of those who were +about her, but the looks they returned to her carried, no consolation to +her spirit. + +"My child," she exclaimed--"Oh, my child, what is this? Bryan, my +life--my light, what ails you?" She stooped, and gently turning him +about so as to see his face, she looked keenly into it for a few +moments, and there certainly was the same seraphic expression which so +lately lit it tip. Still she felt dissatisfied, till putting her ear to +his mouth and her hand to his heart, the woeful truth became known to +her. The guiltless spirit of her fair-haired son had followed, that of +his father. + +When the afflicted widow saw the full extent of her loss, she clasped +her hands together, and rose up with something of a hasty movement. She +looked about the miserable cabin for a moment, and then peered into +the face of every one in the room--all of whom, with the exception of +Raymond, were in tears. She then pressed her temples, as if striving +to recollect what had happened--sat down again beside her husband and +child, and to their astonishment began to sing an old and melancholy +Irish air, in a voice whose wild sweetness was in singular keeping with +its mournful spirit. + +To the bystanders this was more affecting a thousand times than the most +vehement and outrageous grief. Father Roche, however, who had had a +much more comprehensive experience than his companion, knew, or at least +hoped that it would not last long. + +Several of the neighbors, having seen the dead body of the constable +borne away, suspected that something extraordinary had occurred on the +mountain, and consequently came flocking to the cabin, anxious to +know the truth. By this means, their acquaintances were brought +about them--aid in every shape, as far as it could be afforded, was +administered, and in a short time they had a little stock of meal, +butter, milk, candles, and such other simple comforts as their poor +friends and neighbors had to bestow. Such is the usual kindness of +the Irish people to each other in moments of destitution and sorrow. +Nothing, on the present occasion, could surpass their anxiety in +ascertaining the wants of this unhappy family: and in such circumstances +it is that the honest prompting of the humble heart, and its sincere +participation in the calamities of its kindred poor, are known to shine +forth with a lustre, which nothing but its distance from the observation +of the great, or their own wilful blindness to it, could prevent it from +being seen and appreciated as it ought. + +Having seen her surrounded by friends and neighbors, Father Roche, after +first offering as far as he thought he could reasonably attempt it, some +kind advice and consolation, prepared to take his departure with Harman, +leaving Raymond behind them, who indeed refused to go. "No," said he, +"I can feed Dickey here--but sure they'll want me to run messages--I'm +active and soople, an I'll go to every place, for the widow can't. But +tell me, is the purty boy, the fair haired boy asleep, or what?--tell +me?" + +"Why do you ask, Raymond?" said Father Rocche. + +"Bekase I love him," replied Raymond, "and I hope he'll waken! I would +like to see him kiss his father again--but I'm afeared somehow I never +will. If he awakens I'll give him the cock any how--bad luck to me but I +will." + +"Hush," said the priest, whilst a tear started to his eye at this most +artless exhibition of affection for the child--"don't swear, Raymond. +The sweet boy will never waken in this world; but he will in heaven, +where he is awake already, and where you will see him again." + +"I would rather see him here," replied the other; "and I wish I had +gev him the cock first, when he came out of the room; but what'd she do +without his white head before her?--what'll she do, and not have that +to look at? But stop," said Raymond--"wait a minute, and we'll soon see +whether he'll waken or not." + +He then went into the little room where the poor child had lain during +his illness, and immediately returned, bearing the cock in his hands-- + +"Wait," said he; "I was bringing the bird to poor little Brian, for I +promised it to him. We'll see--we'll see." + +As he uttered the words, he placed the bird down on the child's bosom +and called out-- + +"Brian, here's your present for you, that I promised you--won't you +waken?--spake open your blue eyes, achora machree, and look at the fine +bird I brought you." + +It was a most affecting little incident; for the contrast between the +fiery scintillations flashed from the eye of the noble bird, the utter +unbroken stillness of death, as character was so mournfully impressed +upon the fair sweet features of innocence, was indeed such as few +parental hearts could withstand. Raymond looked awhile as if even he had +been struck by it. + +"Ah no," said he, going down to his mother; "no, Mary, he will never +waken--and then what will you do for Brian's white head?" + +"Whisht!" she replied; "whisht, and I'll sing you a song. I have nothing +else to do now but to sing and be happy-- + + "'Farewell father, farewell mother, + Farewell friends, and farewell foes! + I now will go and court some other, + For love it was the causer of all my woes." + +"An' so it was," she said; "for I did love some one, I think; but who +they were, or where they are gone to, I cannot tell. Is your name," +she added, her eye blazing as she spoke to Raymond, "is your, name +M'Clutchy?" + +"Say it is," suggested one of the neighbors; "may be it may startle the +poor thing into her senses." + +"That's not very likely," replied another, "for it has startled her out +of them--God in his mercy pity her!" + +Raymond, however, adopted the first suggestion, without knowing why; and +said in a loud voice-- + +"Ay is it; my name is Val the Vulture, that commands the blood-hounds." + +The creature started--became for a moment as if convulsed--then +proceeded at a speed that was incredible, screaming frightfully, across +the dark and desolate scenery that surrounded the house. It was vain to +pursue her; for there was none there capable of doing it with success, +unless Raymond, who understood not that she had become insane. + + + + +CHAPTER IX.--A Dialogue, exhibiting Singular Principles of Justice + +--Solomon's Tracts and Triumph--A Sincere Convert--Darby's Views of +Religion--Poll Doolin's Honesty--Solomon's Christian Generosity to a +Man in Difficulty--M'Loughlin and his Family. + + +The extraordinary scene which we have just detailed as occurring in the +mountain hut, took place on Saturday morning and about twelve on the +subsequent Monday, the following dialogue passed between honest Val! and +his son, Philip the graceful. + +"That was a most unlucky accident that happened Harpur on Saturday," +said Val, dryly, and looking with a good deal of significance at the +other. + +"Unlucky," said Phil, "faith and honor, my good father, I don't know +what to think." + +"You don't, Phil!" replied Val; "why, what the deuce could you deem more +unlucky than to be shot stone dead, without a moment's notice." + +Phil's color went a little at the bare notion of such a fate; but on +observing an expression of peculiar complacency lurking in his father's +eye, it returned again, and after a little assurance settled down into +its original hue. + +"To himself certainly," said Phil, "it was a bad business; no one can +deny that." + +"But, my excellent son, Phil, it may turn out a very lucky incident for +us in the mean time. He is, Phil, a wise man in this world who can +turn the misfortunes or crimes of others to his own advantage. There +is Harman for instance, Phil; now I believe you are not excessively +attached to him." + +"I hate him as I do hell," replied Phil. + +"Very good--you hate him as you do hell--well, on the other hand, there +is M'Loughlin, his partner in the manufactory, and his joint lessee in +their farm--now I hate him as I do--I was about to say the devil--but I +feel loth to render that misrepresented gentleman an injustice--that +is, if there be such a gentleman--which, with my worthy father, I much +doubt. Don't you think now it is a fortunate thing that we can indict +Harman for Harpur's murder. I really think, and it is said, he murdered +him. We would include the priest in the indictment as accessory, but +that might be attended with personal danger--and the less real danger we +incur the better for ourselves." + +"Faith and honor, father, that doctrine's worthy of an oracle--as, +indeed, most of what you say is." + +"But mark me, Phil; our object is simply his ruin, not his death. Let +us beggar M'Loughlin and him, and drive them out of the country. +No--no--not the death of either of them; on the contrary, I should wish +them to live, if it was only that they might feel my revenge--and that +I knew they felt it. I would not hang them if I could, for my own sake." +He got pale, ground his teeth, knit his black beetle brow, and exhibited +the diabolical cast of features for which he was remarkable whenever his +evil passions began to stir in his heart. + +"Now," said he to Phil, "keep a close mouth above all things, for we +must proceed with caution. I have here a letter from Lord Cumber, in +which, at my private suggestion, he declines to renew their leases. +Indeed, on serious consideration, I have recently advised him to grant +no renewals, except in cases where every reliance can be placed upon +the principles of the parties. The want of a lease is a very wholesome +restriction on the conduct of our enemies. M'Slime opposes me in this, +because he cannot pocket as much as usual; but though I cannot readily +break with him, still, I trust, that in a short time I shall be able to +turn his flank in a manner for which he is but little prepared. I have +reason to think he is tampering with O'Drive--in fact O'Drive told me as +much--O'Drive, however, is at work for me, although honest Solomon +does not suspect him. The pious attorney, who is bestowing more of his +attention to religion than ever, has got bitten by the Conversion mania, +and thinks he will be charged with a neglect of his gifts, as he calls +them, unless he can produce a live convert actually made by his own +hands. I accordingly suggested to O'Drive to consult him on some +religious scruples that he is supposed to have felt from the perusal of +a tract written by M'Slime himself. + +"Why," said Phil, "are you not aware that he gave me three or four dozen +of them for gratuitous distribution, as he calls it. Yes, it is called +'The Religious Attorney,' being a reconcilement between honesty and +law, or a blessed union between light and darkness; by Solomon M'Slime, +attorney at law. + +"Which tract," continued Val, "was written for the sole purpose of +recommending himself to the notice of the religious world aforesaid, +more, by the way, as an attorney than as a Christian. And a very good +speculation it proved, for, whereas he was then scarcely able to make +both ends meet by mere professional roguery, and dressed in a black +gown--which you know he always wears in court--yet he no sooner threw +the cloak of religion over that, than he advanced rapidly--and the +consequence is that he is now privately a usurious discounter of bills." + +"Faith and honor, now, father, do you,tell me so?" + +"It's a fact, Philip, my son, and what is more--but the truth is, that +neither he nor I can afford to quarrel with each other." + +"Why, father? what's that 'more' you were going to add?" + +"At this present time, Phil, it must bo secret--but it is arranged +between him and me, that he is to succeed Harman in Beleveen; whilst you +are to come in for M'Loughlin's holding." + +"For which I shall have the pleasure,to drink your health to-night, my +old boy--upon my honor and soul you are an excellent old cock, and I'm +very proud of you." + +"Go ahead, Phil; no nonsense. But stay, are those fellows of mine come +yet?--I shall receive their informations, and have Harman in the stone +jug before night. It is a bad case of murder committed upon a man in the +execution of the law, do you see, Phil, and consequently I cannot take +bail." + +"No, certainly not, captain--as Darby says, certainly not, plaise your +worship--ha, ha!" + +"Come, Phil, keep quiet; it is now time that operations should seriously +commence. I have gained most of my points, thank--Valentine M'Clutchy, +at all events. I am head agent; you are my Deputy-master of an Orange +Lodge--a Magistrate, and write J.P. after my name--Captain and Paymaster +in the Castle Cumber cavalry, and you lieutenant; and though last, not +least, thanks to my zeal and activity in the Protestant cause, I am at +length a member of the Grand Panel of the county. Phil, my boy, there is +nothing like religion and loyalty when well managed, but otherwise--" + +"They are not worth a feather," replied Phil; "right, captain--there's +an oracle again." + +"And, Phil, my son; what is there wrong in this? In fact there is +scarcely a better capital to trade on than religion and loyalty. You +know what I mean, Phil;--not the things, if there be such things, which +I must beg leave to doubt; but that principle which causes one man to +hate another, in proportion to its influence over him." + +"Ay," said Phil, "just as you and I, who have not got a touch of +religion in our whole composition, have the character of being two of +the staunchest Protestants in the county." + +"Yes," replied the father, "and in this case the fiction is as good +and better than the truth. The fiction, Phil, under which our religion +appears is our own interests--no, I am wrong--the fiction under which +our interest appeal's is our religion--that is the way of it; and +the truth is, Phil, that ninety-nine men out of every hundred will +go ninety-nine miles for their interests, before they will go one for +either religion or truth--that's the way of it, too. However, pass +that--now about Poll Doolin and the hint I gave you?" + +"Why, you know at that time matters were not ripe for it. Don't you +remember telling me so yourself?" + +"I do, but I speak of your present intentions." + +"Faith, my present intentions would be to marry the girl, Papist though +she be, if I could; but as that's out of the question, I will now follow +up your hint." + +"Then you had better see Poll, and go on with it. Are you aware, +besides, that the concern is tottering?" + +"The manufactory! No--is that possible?" + +"It is a fact; but you know not how honest Solomon and I have been at +work. It is tottering, Lieutenant M'Clutchy, and in a short time you +will see what you shall see." + +"Well," said Phil, "so far everything is turning out very fortunate for +us--but I think, Captain, that you are one of those men who are born +under what they call a lucky planet;--eh? old boy?" + +"Well, I think so; but in the meantime see Poll Doolin, and after that +pay a visit to my father. The old scoundrel is upon his last legs, and +there can be no harm in paying him some attention now. You are not a +favorite of his; so smooth him down as much as you can. I don't myself +expect that he will remember either of us in his will; but, as he is +hasty and capricious, it is difficult to say what effect a favorable +impression might have upon him." + +"Neither are you a favorite with Isabel, or Jezabel, as he calls her." + +"No, I made a bad move there--but, after all, what did I, or rather, +what could I lose by neglecting her? Did she not succeed in banishing +every one of his relatives from about him? It was neither her interest +nor her inclination to keep in with his friends:--go and see him, at all +events; reconnoitre, and report accordingly--and now if these fellows +are come let them be sent in." + +Phil accordingly withdrew to follow up his own speculations, and in a +few minutes our friends, who so bravely distinguished themselves in the +widow's cabin, entered the office. Val, like most men of his class and +experience, was forced to undergo strong contests between the vanity +occasioned by his success in life, and his own shrewd sense and acute +perception of character. Whenever he could indulge that vanity without +allowing its gratification to be perceived by others, he always did so; +but if he happened to have a person to deal with, whom he suspected of +a sufficiently keen penetration, his own sagacity always checked its +display. No man ever puzzled him so thoroughly as O'Drive, who so +varied and timed his flattery, as to keep him in a state of perpetual +alternation between a perception of the fellow's knavery, and a belief +in his simplicity of heart. On one occasion he would exclaim to himself +or Phil, "This O'Drive is a desperate knave,--it's impossible that he +can be honest;" and again, "Well, well; there is too much simplicity +there, too much truth unnecessarily told, to allow me to consider that +poor devil a rogue--no, he is honest." The consequence was, that Darby +flattered him, and he relished it so strongly because he did not imagine +it was intentional, that Darby understood his weak points, in that +respect, better than any man living. This, in a country where the people +are shrewd observers in general, could scarcely be supposed to escape +their observation; nor did it. Darby's manner was so naturally imitated +by others, that even the keen and vigilant Valentine M'Olutchy was +frequently over-reached without being at all conscious of the fact. + +When the men of the Castle Cumber corps came in, they found their +captain sitting, or rather lolling, in a deep-seated arm-chair, dressed +in a morning-gown and red morocco slippers. He was, or appeared to be, +deeply engaged over a pile of papers, parchments, and letters, and for +about a minute raised not his head. At length he drew a long breath, +and exclaimed in a soliloquy--"just so, my lord, just so; every man that +scruples to support the Protestant interests will meet no +countenance from you;--'nor shall he, Mr. M'Clutchy, from you, as my +representative,' you add--'and I beg you'"--he went on to road a few +lines further--"'to transmit me the names and capacities of all +those who are duly active on my property in suppressing disturbance, +convicting criminals, and preserving the peace; especially those who are +remarkable for loyal and constitutional principles; such are the men we +will cherish, such are the men we must and ought to serve.' It is very +true, my lord, it is very true indeed, and--oh! my friends, I beg your +pardon! I hadn't noticed you--oh, dear me! how is this? why I didn't +imagine you had been so sadly abused as all this comes to--this is +dreadful, and all in resisting the king's warrant against the murderer. +But how did it happen that this Harman murdered our poor friend Harpur?" + +"Harpur is done for, captain, sure enough; there's no doubt of that." + +"Well, it's one comfort that we live in a country where there is +justice, my friends. Of course you will prosecute him for this +diabolical murder; I sent for you to receive your informations, and we +shall lodge him in gaol before night." + +"I would rather prosecute that Blackguard Rimon-a-hattha," said a +man, whose head was awfully swollen, and bound up with a handkerchief, +"Rimon, Captain, is the greatest rascal of the two--he is, by, Japurs." + +"Yes, but is he not an idiot, Johnston? In point of law he is only a +fiction, and cannot be prosecuted." + +"Fiction, Captain! Sowl, I don't know what you call a fiction--but if +I'm guessin' properly, hell to the much of it was in his blows--look at +how my head is, and I wish you could see my ribs, plase your worship." + +"Well but let us come to the most important matter first--and before +I go further, my friends and brothers, I would just throw out for +your satisfaction, a few observations that I wish to impress upon you. +Recollect that in this business, and in every business like it, you must +have the pleasure at least of reflecting that you have now a magistrate +who will see that all due care is taken of your interests--who will +accompany your proceedings step by step, and see that all is as it ought +to be. That is not partiality, my dear friends; that is not favor nor +affection, nor leaning to you; no, nor--ha, ha, ha, leaning from you, +either, my friends." + +"Long life to your worship! Long life to you, Captain! You're the right +sort, and no mistake." + +"M'Dowel, what detained you from your lodge on Thursday night." + +"I was buying a springer in Hush fair, and didn't get home in time, your +worship." + +"Well, M'Dowel, mark-me,--I neither can, nor will, overlook neglect in +these matters. The man that neglects them wilfully, is a man I won't +depend upon--and two of your neighbors were absent from parade on +Wednesday week. Now, it's really too bad to expect that I, or any other +gentleman in the country, will exert ourselves so strenuously to sustain +and extend our own principles, or! to speak plainly, to keep them up--to +maintain our ascendancy,--if we cannot reckon upon the earnest and +cordial support of those for whose sake we take all this trouble--upon +my honor it's a shame." + +"It is a shame, Captain, and I say here's one," placing his hand upon +his heart, "of the right kidney. By the holy William, there is." + +"We're all so, your worship," replied Sharpe, "and sure every one knows +it--but, plaise your honor, what's to be done about Harman?" + +"Why, prosecute him for the murder of course." + +"But then," said one of them, "sure Harman didn't murder him, +Captain--among ourselves, it was all accident." + +M'Clutchy seemed surprised at this, and after hearing their individual +opinions, which indeed, conflicted very much, some positively asserting +that he did, and others that he did not, murder the man, he began to +view the matter in a somewhat different and more cautious light. He +mused for some time; however, and after a second and more deliberate +investigation, finding that there were two for the murder and only one +against it, he at length took their informations, resolving to bring the +matter to trial at all hazards. The warrant for Harmon's apprehension +was accordingly issued, and entrusted to a dozen of the most resolute +fellows in his corps; who so far enabled our magistrate to fulfil his +intention, that they lodged his enemy in the county prison that very +night. + +The next morning, when reading the papers, our Captain was not a little +surprised at reading in one of them an advertisement to the following +effect: + +"To the public--found, in the office of Mr. Solomon M'Slime, a Bank +of Ireland Note, of large amount. The person losing it may have it by +giving a proper description of same, and paying the expenses of this +advertisement. N. B.--It is expected, as the loser of the note must be +in affluent circumstances, that he will, from principles of Christian +sympathy, contribute, or enable some Christian friend to contribute, a +moderate donation to some of our greatest public charities. Thus will +that which at the first view appears to be serious calamity, be made, +under Him, a blessing and a consolation, not only to the wealthy +individual who lost the money, but to some of our destitute fellow +creatures. This, however, is not named as a condition, but merely as a +suggestion offered from motives of benignity and duty. + +"Also, just published, _The Religious Attorney_; being a reconcilement +between Honesty and Law; or a blessed Union between Light and Darkness. +By S. M'S. Tenth Thousand. + +"Also, in the Press, and will soon be published, done up neatly in +foolscap, and rogue's binding for cheapness, by the same author, _The +Converted Bailiff_; being designed as a companion to _The Religious +Attorney_. These productions need not be sought for with any of the +profane booksellers of the city; but only at the Religious Depositories, +or at those godly establishments in Sackville street and College green." + +This, however, was not all. In a different column appeared the +following; which, however, did not surprise M'Clutchy: + + "Glorious Triumph of Religious Truth. + +"In another part of our paper, our readers will perceive in an +advertisement, an additional proof, if such were necessary, of the +strong integrity of that ornament of his profession, both as an Attorney +and Christian, Mr. Solomon M'Slime. This gentleman, whilst he devotes +himself, with a pure and guileless heart, to the extensive practice +which his high principles and great skill have gained him in his +profession, does not neglect the still higher and more important +interests of himself and his fellow creatures. It is a gracious thing to +know that a spirit of deep and earnest inquiry is now abroad, by which +hundreds are, under God, brought from darkness to light--from the gall +of bitterness and the bond of iniquity, out into the freedom of perfect +day. Verily there is a new Reformation abroad--the strongholds of +Popery are fast falling one after another. In the neighborhood of +Mount-starve-'em, the spirit has been poured out most abundantly; +and this manifestation is the more gracious, when we reflect that the +dreadful famine which now prevails throughout the country, has been made +(always under Him) the precious but trying means of bringing the poor +benighted creatures to taste the fruits of a better faith. Nothing, +indeed, can equal the bounty of that excellent nobleman, Lord------, +who supplies beef and blankets--Bibles and bread--to those who may +be likened to the multitude that were fed so miraculously in the +wilderness--that is to say, who followed the good shepherd for his +doctrine, and were filled with bread. Mr. M'Slime, who has within +his own humble sphere not been inactive, can boast at least of having +plucked one brand out of the burning, in the person of Darby O'Drive, +the respectable bailiff of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., the benevolent +agent of the Castle Cumber estate--to which Mr. M'Slime himself is law +agent. It is understood that on next Sabbath (D.V.) Mr. O'Drive will +make a public profession of his faith--or, in other words, "that he will +recant the errors of Popery, and embrace those of Protestantism."* The +merit of his conversion is due--but merit there is none--to Mr. +M'Slime, or rather to his two very popular and searching tracts, called, +'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace,' and 'The Religious Attorney,' +which he had placed for perusal in Mr. O'Drive's hands. Mr. O'Drive now +declares himself a Babe of Grace, and free from the bonds of sin; or, +as he more simply, but truthfully and characteristically expresses it--a +beautiful specimen indeed of his simplicity of views--'he is replevined +from the pound of human fraility--no longer likely to be brought to +the devil's auction, or knocked down to Satan as a bad bargain.'--For +ourselves, we cannot help thinking that this undoubted triumph of +religious truth, in the person of Darby O'Drive, is as creditable to the +zeal of Mr. M'Slime, as it is to his sincerity. Encouraged by this +great success, Mr. M'Slime, seconded by several of our leading +controversialists, has succeeded in getting up a polemical discussion, +on the merits of the Protestant and Popish creeds. The particulars have +not been decided upon, but they shall probably appear in an early number +of our paper. In the meantime we are authorized by Mr. Darby O'Drive +to issue a formal challenge to any Popish and idolatrous bailiff in +Ireland, to discuss with him the relative powers, warrants, processes, +triumphs, conflagrations, and executions of their resspective churches." + + * This expression has been attributed to Faulkner, the + printer of Swift's works; but it is much more likely that it + belongs to the Dean himself. + +He had scarcely finished this characteristic paragraph, when O'Drive's +knock, as usual, was heard, and in a few minutes the redoubted champion +and challenger entered. There was a knavish demureness about him, and a +kind of comic solemnity in his small, cunning gray eye, that no painter +could copy. + +"Why, you scoundrel," said Val, "you're overdoing the thing altogether; +is it possible that M'Slime is such a spooney as not to see through +you?" + +"Ah, Captain, you don't make any allowance for my simplicity; sure you +know, sir, I must grow young and innocent, if I'm to become a babe of +grace, your worship." + +"But what's the meaning of all this work about discussions and such +stuff?" + +"Faith, sir, it's all thrue enough at any rate; we're to have a +religious field day here in the Sessions house of Castle Cumber; the +whole thing is regulated--the seconds, and bottle houlders, and all is +appointed. There's the Rev. Christopher Gammon, Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug, +who's powerful against Popery, the Rev. Bernard Brimstone, and the Rev. +Phineas Lucre, with many more on the side of truth. On that of Popery +and falsehood there's the Rev. Father M'Stake, the Rev. Father O'Flary, +the Rev. Father M'Fire, and the Rev. Nicholas O'Scorch, D.D. Dr. Sombre +is to be second on our side; and Father M'Fud on the part of Popery and +idolatry." + +"And when is this precious spouting match to take place, you rascal?" + +"Why, sir, on Monday week; and on next Sunday, sir, I'm to read my +rekintation, plaise God." + +"But I didn't intend that you should go to such lengths as +that--however, that's your own affair." + +"But, Captain ahagur, sure it's on your account I'm doin' it--won't it +enable me to get the blind side of him about one or two tilings we want +to come at." + +"Indeed, I believe certainly, that if he has a blind side at all, it is +his own hypocrisy." + +"Be my soul, and it'll go hard or we'll worm out the sacret we want. +There is one tiling I'm sartin of, he thinks, now that I'm turnin' by +the way, that I'm ready to desart and desave you, Captain, an' indeed he +says many things of you that he ought not to' say." + +"Let us hear them." + +"Why, sir, he said the other day--but sorra one o' me likes to be +repeatin' these things." + +"Come, come, you rascal, out with it." + +"He said, sir, that he feared the divil had a hard howlt o you--that was +the day I brought him the last letter, sir--that your heart, Captain, +was full o' desate, and damnably wicked, plase your worship, and that if +you didn't improve your morals you'd go where there is--something about +gnashing of teeth, your honor." + +"He's a double distilled scoundrel," replied Val, bitterly, "and +although I know him well, I am determined still to know him better." + +"Double distilled!--ay, faith, rectified many degrees above proof; but +never mind; if I don't put a spoke in his wheel, I'm not here." + +"Well, never mind now, either--give the hypocritical little scoundrel +this letter." + +"I will, and thank you, Captain! God bless your honor, and grant you +'long to reign over us, happy and glorious, God save the king! armin.' +You see, captain, I've the right strain of loyalty in me, any how, ha, +ha, ha! Throth, if I ever change in airnest, it isn't among the yallow +bellies I'll go; but into his majesty's own church, Captain Val--the +brave church where they have the bells, and the big blessed lookin' +bishops, and their organs and coaches; aye, faith, and where everything +is dacent and jintlemanly. Sure blood alive, Captain Val, beggin' +your pardon, what's the use of a religion if it's not respectable and +ginteel? What signifies a ministher of any religion, if he hasn't a fat +purse in his pocket, and a good round belly before him, for that shows, +plaise your worship, that religion is more than a name, any how; an' +upon my conscience--oh, holy Moses, Captain Val, if M'Slime was to +hear me swearin' this way! God pardon me! how-and-ever, but upon +my conscience, it isn't the religion that keeps a man poor, but the +religion that puts the flesh on his bones, and keeps it there, that is +the right one--aye, and not only that, but that keeps a good coat on +his back, your honor, and a good pair of breeches to his posterals--for +which raison, whenever I do sariously turn it'll be--but you may +guess--it'll be to the only true and loyal church;--for when a man +can get both fat, and loyal, and religious, all at one move, he's a +confounded fool that won't become religious." + +This certainly, though not intended for it, was a true and bitter +comment upon the principles of such men as M'Clutchy, who considered +a profane and licentious attachment to a mere Establishment as a high +duty, not because that establishment was the exponent of divine truth, +but of a mere political symbol, adopted by subordinate and secular aids, +to bind men of the same principles together. + +"Begone, you rascal, and confound your dissertation. Go and deliver the +letter, as I desired you, and bring me an answer." + +"Sartinly, Captain, and will have an eye about me, into the bargain. How +is Captain Phil, sir, before I go?" + +M'Clutchy made a motion of indignation, but could not, in the meantime, +altogether repress a smile; and Darby, taking his hat with a kind of +shrewd and confidential grin, ran out of the office. + +Our narrative now passes to the house of Poll Doolin, which was situated +in a row of cottages towards the north side of Castle Cumber. Her son +Raymond and she were its only inmates, and the former was in the act of +replacing a hat among the _tria juncta in uno_, which he always wore. + +"Raymond," said his mother, "now that you've got your supper, you must +keep house till I come back." + +"Must I indeed?---why must I? answer me that, there now, that's one." + +"Becase I'm goin' out on business." + +"What business?--where to?--what brought Phil M'Clutchy here +yestherday?--tell me that--eh?" + +"Oh, I couldn't tell you that, Raymond." + +"Don't do anything for Phil, he's Val's son, that keeps the +blood-hounds. Ah, poor Brian, and his white head--no', he'll never +waken--never waken--an' what has she now to look at! Mother, I'd give +all the cocks I ever had to see him and his white head in his mother's +arms again--God's curse on Val! God's curse on him! I hate him--I hate +Phil--I hate all of them--don't mother; do nothing for them." + +"You foolish boy, what do you know about it?--keep the house till I come +back, and I'll bring you a pennyworth of tobaccy?" + +"But you will go?" said Raymond. + +"I must, you fool." + +"Very well, then, take it out o' that--there now, that's one." + +It was now drawing on towards dusk, and Poll, assuming her black bonnet, +and throwing her black cloak about her shoulders, sallied out with that +furtive air which always accompanies one who is conscious of something +that requires concealment. Her motions always were rapid, but on +this occasion she walked like one whose mind brooded lover +difficulties--sometimes she went very quick, then slackened her pace, +and once or twice stood still, musing with her right hand to her chin. +At length she reached the residence of Brian M'Loughlin, just after +night had set it--she entered not, but glided about the house, waited, +watched, listened, and peeped into the house, very like a thief that +was setting the premises. Ultimately she took her stand at a particular +window in the rear of the building, where she kept watch with great +patience, though for what purpose it would appear very difficult to +guess. Patience, however, is often rewarded, and it was so in the case +before us. After about half an hour a light fell through the glass, and +Poll, availing herself of the opportunity, tapped gently: at first +it was not noticed, and she tapped again, somewhat louder; this was +successful--a gentle voice inquired in tones more of surprise than +alarm, "who is there, and what is your business!" + +"A friend," said Poll. + +"Poll Doolin!" + +"The same, and I'm here on a case of life and death. Could you come out +for a start--three minutes will do." + +"Certainly not--you trifled unnecessarily with my feelings before--I +will have no more mysteries. I can raise the window, however, and +anything you have to say can be said where we stand." She raised the sash +as she spoke. "Now," said she "what is your business, Poll?" + +"Life and death, as I said," replied Poll "Do you not know that Mr. +Harman is to be tried for murder, and that the assizes will open in a +few days?" + +"Unfortunately I do," replied Mary, sighing deeply, "but there can be no +doubt of his acquittal. Father Roche has been here, who was present, and +told us how the whole circumstance occurred." + +"I don't doubt that," said Poll, "but this I tell you, and this you may +rely on, that hang he will, in spite of fate; he's doomed." + +"Great God!" exclaimed the now terrified girl, "you chill the blood in +my veins--doomed!--what do you mean, Poll?" + +"M'Clutchy will have him hanged in spite of all opposition--you know his +power now--he can carry everything his own way." + +"I know," replied the other, "that his influence is unfortunately great, +no doubt, and cruelly is it exercised; but still, I don't know that he +can carry everything his own way." + +"Do you know what packing a jury means?" + +"Alas!" replied Mary, starting, and getting pale, "I do indeed, Poll. I +have heard of it too frequently." + +"What, then, has the Vulture, the blood-hound, to do, but to get twelve +Orangemen upon the jury, and the work is done?" + +The unhappy girl burst into tears, and wrung her hands, for, however +questionable the veracity of her present informant, she knew, from the +unfortunate circumstances of the country, that such corrupt influences +had too frequently been exerted. + +"Don't you know," added Poll, "that the thing can be done? Isn't the +sheriff himself an Orangeman--isn't the sub-sheriff an Orangeman--isn't +the grand jury Orange, aren't they all Orange through other?" + +"I believe so, indeed," said Mary, still weeping bitterly, "and there +is, I fear, little or no hope." + +"Well, but," replied Poll, "what if I could give you hope?" + +"You, Poll, what can you mean? You!" + +"Yes, me," said Poll, "poor as I stand here now." + +"Well, but how?" + +"Through them that can turn old Val the Vulture round their finger. What +do you think brought me here--or who do you think sent me? Don't you +know that I have no raison to like a bone in the skin of one o' your +family, and that it's more, of coorse, to plaise others than myself that +I'm here; but, over and above that, you, Miss M'Loughlin, never offended +or injured me, and I'm willin' to sarve you in this business, if you +will sarve yourself." + +"But, how--but, how?" replied the distracted girl, "only tell me how?" + +"There is one, and only one, that can twist Val round his finger, and +in this same business is willing to do so--and that one is his own son, +Phil." + +Mary stood for a moment without even breathing; indeed, she exhibited +strong symptoms of disgust at his very name. + +"He is a person I detest," she replied, "beyond any human creature." + +"That may be," said Poll, "but still he can save the man that is to be +your husband; and that's what you ought to think of--the time is short +now, and the loss of a day may ruin all. Listen Miss M'Loughlin:--Mr. +Phil desired me to say to you, that if you will allow him a few minutes' +conversation with you behind the garden, about dusk or a little after +it, he'll satisfy you that he can and will save him--but it must be on +the condition of seeing you, as I say." + +"Let him be generous," she replied, "and impose no such condition." + +"He won't interfare on any other terms," replied Poll; "he knows, it +seems, that you have an unfavorable opinion of him, and he wishes to +prove to you that he doesn't desarve it." + +Mary paused for some time, and appeared very much distressed. I fear, +thought she, it is selfish in me to think of my own feelings, or to have +a moment's hesitation in sacrificing them to his safety. It is certainly +a disgusting task to meet this man; but what ought I not to do, +consistent with conscious rectitude of motive, to save my dear Harman's +life, for I fear the circumstances come to that. + +"Well, then, Poll, if I meet this man, mark me, it is solely for the +purpose of striving to save Mr. Harman's life; and observe, because Mr. +M'Clutchy is ungenerous enough to make my meeting him the condition of +his interference." + +"That," said Poll, "is for yourself to consider; but surely you would +be a strange girl, if you refused to meet him for such a purpose. That +would be a quare way of showing your love to Mr. Harman." + +"I shall meet him, then," said Mary, "at the stile behind the garden; +and may God direct and protect me in what I purpose!" + +Poll gave no amen, to this, as it might be supposed she would have done, +but simply said-- + +"I'm glad, Miss M'Loughlin, that you're doin' what you are doin'. It'll +be a comfort maybe to yourself to reflect on it hereafther. Good night, +Miss." + +Mary bade her good night, and after closing the shutters of her room +which she had come to do, retired; and with an anxious heart returned to +the parlor. + +M'Loughlin's family consisted of three sons and but one daughter, Mary, +with whom our readers are already acquainted. The eldest, James, was a +fine young man of twenty-three; the second, Tom, was younger than Mary, +who then was entering her twenty-first; and the youngest, called Brian, +after his father, was only eighteen. The honest fellow's brow was +clouded with a deep expression of melancholy, and he sat for some time +silent after Mary's return to the parlor. At length he said in a kind of +soliloquy-- + +"I wish, _Raymond-na-hattha_, you had been behind the Slievbeen +Mountains that bitter morning you came for James Harman!" + +"If he had," said Tom, "poor James wouldn't be where he is to-night." + +"But I hope, father," said Mary, in a voice which though it trembled a +little, yet expressed a certain portion of confidence--"I hope as it +was an accident, that there will not be any serious risk." + +"I would be sorry to take any hope out of your heart that's in it, +Mary; but, still, I can't forget that Val the Vulture's his bitterest +enemy--and we all know what he's capable of doing. His son, too, +graceful Phil, is still worse against him than the father, especially +ever since Harman pulled his nose for what he said of Mary here. Did I +ever mention it to you?" + +"No, sir," replied Mary, coloring without exactly knowing why, "you +never did." + +"I was present," said young Brian, "but it wasn't so much for what he +said, for he got afraid, but the way he looked." + +"The scoundrel," said James, indignantly, "well Brian--" + +"'Twas at the Ball Alley," proceeded the young fellow, "in Castle +Cumber; Mary was passing homewards, and Phil was speaking to long Tom +Sharpe, father to one of the blood-hounds. 'That's a purty girl,' said +Sharpe, 'who is she?' 'Oh,' says Phil, 'an acquaintance of mine--but I +can say no more honor bright,' and he winked one of his squinting eyes +as he spoke. James Harman who was standing behind him stepped forward, +'but I can say more,' said he, 'she's daughter to Brian M'Loughlin, and +no acquaintance of yours--and what is more, never will be; ay, and what +is more,' said James, 'here's a proof of it;' and as he spoke he pulled +Phil's proboscis, and then wiped his fingers in his purty face. 'Now, +you cowardly scoundrel,' he added, 'let that teach you not to speak of +any respectable female in such a tone, or to claim an acquaintance where +you have it not.'" + +"Never mind, my good fellow," said Phil, "I'll make you smoke for this." + +"You know where I'm to be found," said James, "and your remedy too; but +you haven't the spirit to take it like a man--and so I leave you with +the white feather in your cap." + +This anecdote for various reasons distressed Mary beyond relief. It +increased her detestation of young M'Clutchy to the highest possible +pitch, and rendered the very thought of him doubly odious to her heart. +Her understanding became bewildered, and for a while she knew not +what she said or did. Taking a candle and attempting to conceal her +agitation, she withdrew again to her own room, where she sat for nearly +half an hour endeavoring to shape her tumultuous thoughts into something +of clearness and order. + +M'Loughlin's brow, however, after her departure, still remained clouded. +"Misfortunes they say," said he, "never come single; here is our +lease out, and we will not get a renewal notwithstanding the fine we +offered--and to mend the matter some good friend has spread a report +that the firm of M'Loughlin and Harman is unsafe. Our creditors are +coming down upon us fast--but it's the way of the world, every one +striving to keep himself safe. If these men were not set upon us by some +coward in the dark there would be neither loss nor risk to them nor to +us; but if they press on us out of the usual course, I fear we won't be +able to stand it. Then poor Harman, too! heighonee!" After some further +conversation, in which it was clear that M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's +manoeuvres had begun to develop themselves, Mary rejoined them. Her +countenance on her return was evidently more composed, and impressed +with a more decided, perhaps we should say, determined character. She +had made her mind up. M'Clutchy, junior, was no doubt one of the most +detastable of men, but as she knew that she hated him, and felt a +perfect consciousness of all that was truthful, and pure, and cautious +in herself, she came once more to the resolution of sacrificing her own +disgust to the noble object of saving her lover. Besides, it was by no +means an unreasonable hope on her part; for such was the state of party +and political feeling at the time, that wiser and more experienced heads +would have calculated rightly, and calculated as she did. + +"Father," said she, on returning to the parlor, "don't be cast down too +much about Harman--I think, considering everything, that his case is far +from being hopeless. There is Father Roche--as for poor Mary O'Regan, in +consequence of her insanity, she unfortunately can be of no use--and +one of the blood-hounds are against the two others. Now, two to two, is +surely strong evidence in his favor." + +She did not, however, make the slightest allusion to the grounds +on which she actually did rest her hope--that is to say, on Phil's +influence over his father. + +M'Loughlin was glad to see that her spirits were so much more improved +than they had been; and so far from uttering anything calculated, +to depress them, he appeared to feel much more easy in his mind than +before--and, perhaps, actually did so. + +"Well," said he to his wife, who was a woman of few words but deep +feeling; "Kathleen, will you see that we get a glass of punch--the boys +and I; there can be no harm surely in drinking a ------; but it's time +enough to drink it when we see the liquor before us. Mary, avourneen, +as you are activer than your mother, will you undertake that duty?--do, +avillish machree." + +In a few minutes Mary quietly but actively had the decanter, sugar, and +hot water before them; and Brian, having mixed a tumbler for himself, +and shoved the materials over to his two eldest boys, resumed the +conversation. + +"Come, boys; are you mixed?" + +"All ready, sir." + +"Well, here's that James Harman may triumph over his enemies!" + +This was drank, we need not say, with an anxious and sincere heart. + +"Do you know now," said M'Loughlin, "that I think there's a very great +difference between little M'Slime, and that Vulture of hell, M'Clutchy. +The little fellow came riding past to-day, and seeing me in the field, +he beckoned to me:-- + +"'I hope,' says he, 'that certain reports, which I was sorry to hear of, +are unfounded?' + +"'What reports, Mr. M'Slime?' says I to him. + +"'Why,' said he, 'it is not out of idle curiosity that I make the +inquiry, but I trust from better and more Christian motives;' and, upon +my conscience, the little fellow turned up his eyes towards heaven, in a +way that would shame Father Roche himself. Faith, if there wasn't truth +there, I don't know where you could get it. 'The reports I speak of,' +says he, 'touch the solvency of your firm.' + +"'Able to pay fifty shillings in a pound,' said I, not willing to +encourage the outcry. + +"'I'm delighted to hear it,' says generous little Solomon; 'but all I +have to say is, that if it had been otherwise, or should it actually be +otherwise, so far as a few hundred pounds go, you may draw upon a man--a +sinner--a frail mortal and an unworthy--named Solomon M'Slime. This,' he +went on, 'is not mere worldly friendship, Mr. M'Loughlin, that promises +much until the necessity arrives, and then do all such promises flee +as it were into the wilderness. No, my friend,' says the warm-hearted +little saint, 'no my friend, these offers are founded not on my own +strength, so to say, but upon those blessed precepts, Mr. M'Loughlin, +which teach us to love our neighbors as ourselves--and to do unto +others even as we wish they should do unto us.' He squeezed my hand, +and whispered in my ear--'As far as three hundred pounds go, should you +require it, rely on me; but harkee,' says he, 'and now,'--well, here's +his health--'and now,' says he, 'and now,'--oh! I knew he was in +earnest--'and now,' says he, 'one word with you--I trust--I hope, I may +say, that I am a Christian man, who would not speak aught against my +neighbor; but this, out of a principle of Christian kindness, I will +say;--beware of Valentine M'Clutchy. It is known there!' said he, +pointing his finger, and turning up his eyes to heaven--'it is known +there from what motives I speak this. I am glad I saw thee--peace be +with thee--farewell, and do not despise or overlook my services, or my +poor sinful offers.'" + +"Now," said the simple-minded but upright and unsuspicious man, "I do +say that was no every-day offer. I would be glad to hear M'Clutchy +make such an offer to any man--for which reason here's little Solomon's +health once more, and long life to him!" + + + + +CHAPTER X.--A Dutiful Grandson and a Respectable Grandmother + +--Military Dialogue --Disobedience of Orders--Solomon's Candor--A +Confidential Communication--Solomon Dances the Swaggering jig--Honest +Correspondence--Darby's Motion of Spiritual Things--Two Religions Better +than One--Darby's Love of Truth. + +We believe our readers may understand, that although we have ourselves +taken the liberty of insinuating that little Solomon, as M'Loughlin +called him, was not precisely--but we beg pardon, it is time enough +to speak of that yet. All we have to say in the mean time is, that +Solomon's character, up to the period we speak of, was not merely +spotless, but a burning and a shining light in the eyes of all the +saints and sinners of the religious world, not only in Castle Cumber, +but in the metropolis itself. Solomon was an Elder of his congregation, +in which Sabbath after Sabbath he took his usual prominent part as +collector--raised the psalms--sang loudest--and whenever the minister +alluded to the mercy that was extended to sinners, Solomon's groan of +humility--of sympathy with the frail, and of despair for the impenitent; +his groan, we say, under these varied intimations of Gospel truth, +was more than a sermon in itself. It not only proclaimed to the +whole congregation that he was a sinner, but that he felt for +sinners--rejoiced in their repentance, which he often did in a +nondescript scream, between a groan and a cackle of holy joy, that +alarmed the congregation; but also wept for their hardness of heart, +when he imagined that it was likely to terminate in final reprobation, +with such a pathetic fervency, that on many such occasions some of those +who sat beside him were obliged to whisper--"Brother M'Slime, you are +too much overcome--too piously excited--do not allow yourself to exhibit +such an excess of Christian sympathy, or there will be many instances +among the weaker vessels of relapses and backslidings, from not +understanding that it is more for others thou art feeling than for +thyself." + +Solomon then took his hands from before his face, wiped his eyes with +his handkerchief on which they had been embedded, and with a serene and +rather heavenly countenance looked up to the preacher, then closing his +eyes as if in a state of ethereal enjoyment, he clasped his hands with +a sweet smile, twirling his thumbs and bowing his head, as the speaker +closed every paragraph of the discourse. + +These observations account very plainly for the opinions touching +Solomon which were expressed by M'Loughlin. Solomon was at this time an +unadulterated saint--a professor--in fact one of the elect who had cast +his anchor sure. But as the proverb gays, time will tell. + +That night M'Loughlin and his family retired to bed for the first time +overshadowed, as it were, by a gloomy presentiment of some change, which +disturbed and depressed their hearts. They slept, however, in peace and +tranquillity, free from those snake-like pangs which coil themselves +around guilt, and deaden its tendencies to remorse, whilst they envenom +its baser and blacker purposes. + +M'Slime himself at this crisis was beginning privately to feel some of +the very natural consequences of his own oft acknowledged frailty. Phil, +who had just left Constitution Cottage a few minutes before Darby's +arrival, had not seen him that morning. The day before he had called +upon his grandfather, who told him out of the pallor window to "go to +h---; you may call tomorrow, you cowardly whelp, if you wish to see +me--but in the meantime," he added as before, "go where I desired you." + +Phil, who possessed a great deal of his father's selfishness and also of +his low cunning, but none at all of his ability, turned back indignantly +and rode home again. He had not passed more than about a hundred yards +from the avenue out into the highway, when he met Sharpe, one of the +heroes of the cabin. + +We shall not detail their conversation, which, of course, embraced +many of the circumstances connected with their duties, excepting a few +interjectional imprecations which Phil in an occasional parenthesis +dutifully bestowed upon his grandfather. + +"So, Sharpe, the fool Rimon made such a devil of a fight (the infernal +old scoundrel)--and took the gun." + +"Why, Captain Phil, if he hasn't the strength of ten men, I'll never +manoeuvre on parade while I live--he's a bloody rascal." + +"(A double distilled old scoundrel, and I wish the devil had him,)--he's +a bad bird, Sharpe, fool and all as he is, there's no doubt of that. +What did the priest do?" + +"Why, your honor, I can't say that he took much part in it, barrin' once +that he went between us and the woman." + +"He had no right to do that--(the blaspheming old vagabond,)--none at +all, Sharpe, and he ought to be prosecuted." + +"He ought, Captain, and will, I hope." + +"But then, Shaj-pe, if we swing Harman it will be enough, for +Harman--(he'll fiz for it, and that soon I hope)--is another bad bird." + +"Oh, devil a worse, Captain, but even if he escapes us now, we'll manage +him yet." + +They now came to a turn in the road, and found themselves at a bridge, a +little beyond which two roads met. On approaching, they observed an old +woman sitting on a large stone that lay a little beyond the arch. She +was meagrely and poorly dressed, had no cap on, her gray locks were only +bound by a red ribbon that encircled her head, but did not confine her +hair, which floated in large masses about her shoulders, a circumstance +that added to the startling vehemence of character that appeared in +her face, and gave to her whole person an expression which could not be +overlooked. When they had come up to where she sat, and were about to +pass without further notice, she started up, and with steps surprisingly +rapid, and full of energy, seized upon. Phil's bridle. + +"Well!" she exclaimed, "I saw you going, and I see you coming, but you +cannot tell me that he is dead. No, the death damp of his blaspheming +carcase is not yet on the air, because if it was," and she turned her +nose against the wind, like a hound, "I would snuff it. No, no; he +is not gone, but he will soon go, and what a catalogue of crimes will +follow after him! The man's conscience is a gaol where every thought and +wish of his guilty life and godless heart is a felon; and the blackest +calendar that ever was spread before God was his. Oh! I wonder do the +chains in his conscience rattle? they do, but his ears are deaf, and he +doesn't hear them; but he will, and feel them too, yet." + +Phil, who had got alarmed at the extraordinary energy of her manner, +as well as of her language, said, "what do you want, and who are you +speaking of?" + +"Who am I speaking of? who should I be speaking of but of old Deaker, +the blasphemer?--and who am I speaking to but the son of the ungodly +villain who threatened to horsewhip the mother that bore him. Do you +know me now?" + +"Let go my bridle," exclaimed Phil, "let go my bridle, you old faggot, +or upon my honor and soul I'll give you a cut of my whip." + +"No," she replied, no whit daunted, "no, I'm near my eightieth year. I'm +old, and wrinkled, and gray--my memory forgets everything now but my own +crimes, and the crimes of those that are still worse than myself--old I +am, and wicked, and unrepenting--but I shall yet live to pour the curses +that rise out of an ill-spent life into his dying oar, until his very +soul will feel the scorches of perdition before its everlasting tortures +come upon it in hell. I am old," she proceeded, "but I will yet live +to see the son that cursed his mother, and threatened to raise his +sacrilegious hand against her that bore him, laid down like a tree, +rooted up and lopped--lying like a rotten log, without sap, without +strength, and only fit to be cut up and cast into the fire. I am old," +she replied, "but I shall live to see out the guilty race of you all." + +"Go to the devil, you croaking old vagabond," exclaimed Phil, raising +his whip, and letting it fall upon her almost naked shoulders, with a +force as unmanly, as it was cruel, and impious, and shocking. + +She uttered a scream of anguish, and writhed several times, until her +eyes became filled with tears. "My cup is not full yet," she exclaimed, +sobbing, "neither is yours, but it soon will be, you knew me well when +you gave that blow; but go now, and see how you'll prosper after it." + +Sharpe, even Sharpe, felt shocked at the cowardly spirit which could +inflict such an outrage upon old age, under any circumstances; but much +less under those which even he understood so well. + +"Captain," said he, "if it was only for the credit of the Castle Cumber +cavalry, I'm sorry that you gave that blow; those men on the other side +of the road there were looking at you, and you may take my word it will +spread." + +"How dare you speak to me in that style?" asked Phil in a rage, and +availing himself of his authority over him, "what is it your business, +Sharpe? Sharpe, you're a scoundrel, for speaking to me in this +style--damn my honor and blood, but you are. What do you know about that +old vagabond?" + +"Captain," said Sharpe, who was a sturdy fellow in his way, "I'm no +scoundrel; and I do know that you have just horsewhipped your notorious +ould grandmother." + +"Fall back," said Phil, "and consider yourself arrested." + +"Arrest and be hanged," replied Sharpe, "I don't care a fig about you--I +was in Deaker's corps this many a year, and if you attempt to come the +officer over me, let me tell you you're mistaken. We're not on duty now, +my buck, and you have no more authority over me than you have over the +devil--me a scoundrel! my good fellow, I know who is the scoundrel." + +"My good fellow! Damn my honor and blood, do you apply that to me?" + +"No, I don't," said Sharpe, "for you're a cursed bad fellow, and no +gentleman--didn't Harman pull your nose in Castle Cumber, and you +wanted the courage then that you had for your ould grandmother--me, a +scoundrel!" + +"I'll tell you what, Sharpe; is this respect, sir, to your commanding +officer? Sharpe I'll mark you out for this." + +"Don't you know," replied Sharpe, "that two of us c&n play at that game; +you had better keep yourself quiet, if you're wise--a man that's in the +habit of getting his nose pulled should be very inoffensive." + +"Very well," said gallant Phil, "I'll say no more, but--" He then put +spurs to handsome Harry, and rode off, full of vengeance against Sharpe, +and of indignation at the contumelious reception he experienced at the +hands of his grandfather. + +Val's letter to M'Slime was, as our readers know, anything but an index +to the state of regard in which he held that worthy gentleman. As we +said, however, that ground was beginning to break a little under his +feet, in spite of all his unction and Christian charity, we shall, while +Darby is on his way to deliver his letter, take that opportunity of +detailing a conversation between honest Solomon and Poll Doolin, upon +one or two topics connected with our tale. + +"Sam," said Solomon to his clerk, "you were not present with us at +prayer this morning! You know we do not join in family worship until +you come; and it is but our duty to take an interest in your spiritual +welfare. In the meantime, I should regret, for your own sake, that +anything in the shape of a falling away from your opportunities should +appear in you. I speak now as your friend, Sam, not as your master--nay, +rather as your brother, Sam--as a man who is not without his own +lapses and infirmities, but who still trusts--though not by his own +strength--that he may be looked upon, in some faint degree, as an +example of what a man, wrestling with the cares and trials of life, +ought at, least, to strive to be. To Him be the praise!" + +"I certainly overslept myself this morning, sir--that is the truth." + +"Yes, Sam; sloth is one of the disguises under which the enemy often +assails and overcomes us. But to business, Sam. There is an old woman in +Castle Cumber, whose name I scarcely remember. She goes dressed in faded +black, and has a son, to whom, for wise purposes of course, it pleased +Him to deny a full measure of ordinary sense?" + +"Poll Doolin, sir, the old child-cadger, and her foolish son, Raymond of +the hats." + +"Don't say foolish, Sam; don't say foolish--we know not well what the +true difference between wisdom and folly is, nor how much wisdom is +manifested in the peculiar state of this person. We know not, indeed, +whether what we blindly, perhaps, term folly, may not be a gift to +be thankful for. You know the Word says, that the wisdom of man is +foolishness before God. Our duty therefore is, to be thankful and +humble." + +"Well, sir; but about Poll Doolin, the child-cadger?" + +"Child-cadger! that is a term I don't understand, Sam." + +"Why, sir, it means a woman who carries--" + +"Sam, hold; if it be associated with human frailty, it is best left +unspoken. The woman, however, be she what she may--and I know not what +she is--but that she is a responsible being--a partaker of our common +nature, and is entitled to our sympathy. She is, I understand, in some +difficulty, out of which, it seems, professional advice may help to take +her. I expect her, therefore, about this time; and will you, Samuel, +just stand at that window, and when you see her approach the house, +do just, quietly, and without noise, open the hall door. Something has +occurred to discompose the Christian tone which usually prevails in our +household; and poor Susanna is going. But, at all events, Sam, you are +aware, it is said, that we ought not to let our left hand know what our +right hand doeth." + +"I know the text, sir, well; it ends with--'and he that giveth in +secret, will reward thee openly.'" + +"He--hem--ahem! yes it does so end; heigho! I feel, Sam, slightly +depressed in spirit, as it were, and moved, as if somewhat of my usual +support were withdrawn from me." + +"Here she is, sir," said Sam. + +"Very well, Sam; please to let her in as quietly as may be, and then +take this declaration to the back office, and copy it as soon as you +can--it is of importance. We should always endeavor to render services +to our fellow creatures." + +In the mean time, Sam very softly opened the hall door, and the next +moment Poll entered. + +Solomon, as usual, was certainly seated at his office, and held his +features composed and serious to a degree; still, in spite of everything +he could do, there was an expression half of embarrassment, and half +of the very slightest perceptible tendency to a waggish simile, we can +scarcely call it--but, whatever it might be, there it certainly was, +betraying to Poll, in spite of all his efforts, that there was still the +least tincture imaginable of human frailty associated with such a vast +mass of sanctity. + +Polly, when she entered, took a seat, and loosening the strings of her +bonnet, raised it a little, and without uttering a word sat silently +looking in M'Slime's face, with a very comic and significant expression +on her own. + +"No, Polly," said he, with a serious smile, "no, you are mistaken +indeed--frail we all are, I grant you; but in this case am acting for +another. No, no, Polly--I trust those days of vanity are gone." + +"Well, then, what else am I to do? I sent the reports abroad about +M'Loughlin and Harman's being about to break; and of M'Loughlin I'll +soon have my revenge, by the way--I and somebody else have the train +laid for it." + +"Polly, it was from no unchristian spirit of ill-will to them--for I +trust that of such a spirit I am incapable--but to prevent them, by +an unjust act, from injuring, perhaps from ruining others. That is my +motive; but, at the same time, the whole matter is understood to be +strictly confidential between you and me." + +"Don't you know, Mr. M'Slime, that when there was an occasion for +trustin' me, I didn't betray you to the world?" + +"No--you did not; and it is for that reason that I trust you now." + +"Ay, and you may, too; honor bright is my motive. You remember the +day you passed Darby O'Drive and me, on our way to M'Clutchy's? Did I +pretend to know you then?" + +"You acted then, Poll, with great and commendable discretion, which you +will please to remember I did not overlook." + +"No," said Poll, "you behaved decently enough." + +"But observe me now, Poll; if this report concerning the firm of +M'Loughlin and Harman should by any possibility be traced to us, or +rather to yourself, and that you should be pressed to disclose it, +which, of course, you could not be; but if a weak moment should ever +come--it is best then to speak the truth, and put the saddle as they +rather profanely say, upon Valentine M'Clutchy, the right horse here." + +"Upon M'Clutchy! why bad as he is, he never opened his lips to me on +this subject." + +"But he did to me, Poll, because it was from him I first heard the +suggestion; so that in point of truth and justice, you are bound by your +own conscience, or you ought at least--to lay it at his door--and that +now you understand better"--he smiled a little as he uttered these +words--"But why don't you get a better bonnet, that one is very shabby?" + +"It's aisier said than done," replied Poll, "the poor must always look +poor, and will too." + +"There then, are ten shillings, Poll; bestow them on that, or on any +other purpose you prefer." + +"Thank you, Mr. M'Slime, troth in the little job I did for you at our +first acquaintance I found you--any way not worse than another. Well, +but you can't desave me now--I see it in your eye--you have something +else to say to me." + +"Oh, nothing to signify. Merely a serious young person would wish to +remove for change of air to some quiet nook until health--which, indeed, +is the chiefest of temporal blessings, might be recovered." + +"Man or woman?" + +"A serious young woman, Poll." + +"I see, I see, Mr. M'Slime; I know nothing more about it." + +"Poll, listen--I shall no longer withhold confidence from you in +this matter--unfortunately a member, indeed, I may say, two of our +congregation have had a woeful fall. He ranks very high in it, and this +is an act of the greater Christian friendship in me, inasmuch as in +undertaking the management of this for him, I certainly run great risks +of suffering in my own reputation. I cannot name him, for that would +be a breach of confidence in me, but you are called upon to perform the +duty required, and through me he shall compensate you for your trouble." + +"Very well," replied Poll, "it must be done--and I can tell him whoever +he is, that he could not come to any one that understands such matters +betther." + +"Good morning, Poll! Let me hear from you as soon as you can. Peace be +with thee! but Poll, remember one thing, Harman and the M'Loughlins are +going to America." Poll nodded significantly, but made no reply. + +The moment she had gone, which she did by the aid of Solomon himself, +who opened and closed the hall door after her, with a quietness of +manner that seemed to communicate oil to the hinges themselves, he +touched the bell, and in due time Susanna looked in. + +"You rang, sir," said she. + +"That arrangement is made;" said he, "so far all is well, or nearly +so--go now." Susanna immediately withdrew, the few words he said seeming +to have diffused sunshine into a face which appeared doubly serious. + +When she was gone, Solomon laid his head down upon the desk before him, +and remained in that position for some time. At length without at all +raising it he began to play his knuckles against the lid, with a +degree of alacrity which would not have disgraced the activity of a +sleight-of-hand man. He at last rose, drew a long breath, and wore a +very smiling face; but this was not all--O sanctity! O religion! Instead +of going to his Bible, as one would imagine he ought to have done, +instead of even taking up a psalm-book, and indulging in a spiritual +song, he absolutely commenced whistling the Swaggering Jig, which he +accompanied with as nimble a foot, and in as good time as if he had been +a dancing-master all his life. + +"Ah," said he, "I could have done it once, and would like to do it +still, only for this wicked and censorious world." A knock from Darby +O'Drive recalled him to a perception of his gifts, and when Darby +entered he looked calm and serious as usual. Little could Darby have +imagined, although perfectly aware of M'Slime's knavery, that the pious +little man had just concluded "a short exercise," in performing the +Swaggering Jig. As it was, however, he found him in a state which might +either be termed a religious meditation, or an intense application to +business--a Bible being on the one hand, and a brief on the other; but +to which of the two he had devoted himself, neither Darby, nor indeed +any one else, could guess. There, however, he sat, a kind of holy link +between the law and the gospel. + +When Darby entered, and delivered the letter, M'Slime on receiving it +exclaimed, "Ah, from my excellent friend, M'Clutchy. Sit down, Darby, +sit down, and whilst I am casting my eye over this note, do now, in +order that we may make the most of our opportunities, do, I say, Darby, +just read a chapter in this--" handing him over the Bible as he spoke. In +the meantime he read as follows:-- + +"Strictly confidential. + +"My Dear M'Slime: + +"In order that the thing may be done as much in the shape and form of +a matter of business as possible, don't you think it would be well +for you, as Harman's lease has expired, to send me a regular written +proposal for it--which proposal I may be able to show in justification +of myself, should anything unfavorable turn up afterwards. Harman's +offer was just double yours, but that is burnt; of course you will also +burn this when you have read it. Your offer of assistance to M'Loughlin +was well thought of; and even if we never, I mean you, should be +paid, you are still a gainer by two hundred pounds. Each has offered +a thousand a piece to have the leases renewed at the present rent; you +give five hundred, very good suppose you lose three--that is, suppose +M'Loughlin is driven, as, please God, he shall be, to allow you to +accept a bill for three hundred--don't you see that you are still two +hundred in pocket; no, I am wrong, not two but seven hundred. You can +therefore well afford to lose three by the transaction, although, as I +have said, it is not, in point of fact, losing three, but gaining seven, +or at least five. Phil has also sent me a written proposal, which I +will keep, but M'Loughlin's is gone the way of Harman's, as a matter of +prudence. As for the private consideration between us, that is only +to be glanced at. I give you my honor that Phil has tendered me two +hundred, which I will not take, of course, either from you or him until +the premises are cleared of the present tenants, This must be done +very soon, and, I think it is much to be wished that Harman, who is a +choleric scoundrel, should be put out of the way, if possible, If he is +transported it will save us a good deal of annoyance. I should regret +a meeting between him and Phil very much. Phil tells me that he once +pulled his, Harman's, nose, and it is very natural that he should bear +him a grudge for it. There is half a year's rent due this day, and the +term mentioned in the notice to quit, expires next week. So far, +then, all is right; we have them in our power, and can proceed safely. +Parliament will, it is well ascertained, be certainly dissolved about +the end of May next, so that we must work double tides to bring in +his Lordship. There is a devilish spirit abroad, however, which will +occasion us much trouble; but I cannot agree with you about renewing the +leases, notwithstanding. It is just doing by those who are obstinate and +ill-disposed, precisely as we ought; that is, holding a whip over their +heads, and assuring them that we shall let it fall with rigor, unless +they are agreeable as they ought. The Hon. Richard Topertoe is in +London, but, between you and me, it matters little where he is; you +may judge of what an intermeddling fool he must be, when he had the +presumption to urge his Lordship to come to his native land, and live +on his estate. This d----d Ribbonism and outrage, in spite of all our +efforts, are still increasing; I think, however, that I shall be able +to make a pounce some of these days. I have my spies at work, and let me +tell you, that talk as they may, about its treachery and rascality, the +spy system is an admirable one; in fact, it is like a two-edged sword, +and cuts both ways, just as you wish. If, for instance, you cannot find +Ribbonism made to your hand, you may make it--that is, you can +corrupt first, and betray afterwards; which, at critical moments is +unquestionably (I say this between ourselves) a decided advantage. By +the by, my dear Solomon, the force of religion must be singularly strong +and impressive in your life and conduct, when you have been able so +wholesomely to influence that rascal bailiff of ours, Darby O'Drive. I +have seldom, indeed, never witnessed so striking a change as you have +produced in him; to tell you the truth, I felt a little chagrined and +jealous about it; but as he owes us a kind of divided allegiance, I must +rest contented. + +"Believe me to be, my dear M'Slime, +"Yours affectionately and faithfully, +"Val M'Clutchy, J.P." + + +To this, while Darby was tooth and nail at the Bible, Solomon wrote the +following reply-- + +"My Dear M'Clutchy: + +"I have just read your letter of this date, and agree with you in the +necessity and propriety of my sending you a written proposal which you +can show at a future time, in order to justify yourself should it be +necessary so to do. I also need not say that your conduct in destroying +the proposals of M'Loughlin and Harman was equally creditable to your +head and heart. Prudence and discretion, my dear Val, are not virtues +of every day occurrence, and as to giving the preference to a Christian +friend, I do not see how a man as you are, with a strong sense of +religion, could without injuring your conscience avoid it. What is it +after all, my dear friend, but a spoiling of the Egyptians, as holy +Moses did, when about to lead the children of Israel from bondage. In +that case it was what may be termed in these our days a description of +justifiable theft, such as many professors of the word do, in matters of +business, feel themselves warranted even now in imitating. It requires, +however, to be done carefully, and within the freedom of the perfect +law; but, by no means, with a worldly or secular spirit, otherwise +it will be deprived of that unction which renders the act a gracious +exemplification of our Christian privileges, instead of a departure from +rectitude, which it would be if committed by an ungodly person. These +are distinctions, my dear friend, which I grant you is not permitted to +many to make--only, indeed, I may humbly and fearfully say to such as +have by long wrestling with the spirit been able to see truth, when the +inward eye has been purged from the grossness of passion, for which +to Him be praise and power. Amen! I herewith enclose you the proposal +formally made, and will be ready to hand over the two hundred Christian +manifestations of my gratitude at the proper season. As to Lord Cumber +being a loser by the transaction, such a loss must have been, we are +bound to hope, shaped out for him as a punishment inflicted for gracious +purposes. It is true he is ignorant of it, and I trust he shall remain +so; but then we know that many a blessing comes to us in deep disguise, +and that many a dispensation which we look upon as a favor from above, +is far from being so. If, then, it be true that this thing is vouchsafed +to him as a hidden blessing, let us be thankful that we have been +selected as the unworthy means through whom he is made to receive it; or +if it comes to him as a punishment, still it is our duty to reflect that +we are merely the instruments through whose frailties, or virtues, as +the case may be, he is visited, and that from the beginning this and +many other acts which a blind unenlightened world might censure, were +ordained for us, in order that the perfect scheme of Providence might be +fulfilled. + +"With respect to the spy system, I do agree with you fully. Many things +must be done in secret, which the perversity of the world will not bear +to hear of without committing sin. For instance, my dear Val, in sowing +your crop of loyalty, so to speak, it might not, perhaps, be wrong--I +am speaking, now observe, with reference to the cunning of the serpent, +which you know we are enjoined to have, and if to have, of course to use +when necessary; it might not, perhaps, be wrong I say, to cast a tare +or two, if only for the purpose of employing our friends and fellow +creatures to pull them, out again. It is as it were, giving the idle +employment, and enabling ourselves in the mean time to gather an +abundant harvest into our own garners. + +"With respect to Darby, I trust, that if my unworthy example and earnest +precept have been successful in rescuing him from the bonds of error +and sin--but what is still more dangerous, from the damnable thrall +of Popery--it is not for me to vainly extol myself therefor. His +conversion, however, will, I trust, be edifying to that interesting, but +neglected class, the bailiffs of Ireland. With reference to them, I +am engaged during the very few leisure hours that I can steal--so +to speak--from my professional employment, in writing a second tract +especially for their improvement. It will be appropriately called, _The +Bailiff's Beacon or a Strengthener for tender Consciences_, By their +friend and brother Christian, Solomon M'Slime, Attorney at Law. + +"Verily, my lines have been made to fall in pleasant places. On +yesterday, I had the satisfaction to be appointed _soul_ agent to the +Religious Cosmopolitan Assurance Association, being a branch of the +Grand Junction Spiritual Railway Society for travellers to a better +world. The salary is liberal, but the appointment--especially to a man +of sincere principles--is full of care and responsibility. Allow me, my +dear Val, to recommend you and your friends to purchase shares in +the Spiritual Railway Society--it is under Him the safest of all +associations yet established. The arrangements are admirably adapted +for the projects in view. All the seats are delightfully soft, and as +somnolent as church pews, to which they bear a close resemblance. The +machine men, and all those appointed to situations on the line, are +mostly in orders; but belong to different denominations. The scheme +originated in Oxford, and has spread rapidly throughout the length +and breadth of the land. Several of the stokers are bishops, and the +reverend feeders discharge their respective duties with singular effect. +It is hoped besides, that it may, under divine guidance, be the glorious +means of bringing Popery within the influence of truth, whilst its +enemies--for it has enemies--as who has not--its enemies assert that +whether it shall take in Popery, or Popery take in it, is a matter very +difficult to be determined. + +"They are also exceedingly expert at tract writing, which they perform, +if I may say so, without boasting or vanity, very much in my own spirit. +Poor Susanna is ailing--I mean a serious young person in our family +who tended our little olive branches and understood my habits. She is +leaving us, and I shall miss her, for I am one of those persons, my dear +friend, who have a heart for--and I trust I may say, that can sympathize +with--my fellow creatures, however humble. Do you remember that I once +availed myself of a Christian privilege, to mention between us the +subject of family prayer? + +"I remain, my dear M'Clutchy, with, may I hope, a few of the graces of +my calling--an earnest wrestler against sin, + +"Solomon M'Slime." + + +"Now, Darby," said he, having folded the letter enclosing his tender for +Harman's farm, and handed, it to him, "now, that so much is despatched, +I trust we may have a word or two upon a subject of still higher +importance. How do you feel in a spiritual way?--Are your views as clear +as ever?--are you supported--I mean inwardly, for that is the only true +support after all?" + +"Thrath, Mr. M'Slime, I'm afeard to spake, sir, for fraid I'd say either +more or less than the truth." + +"That is a good sign, Darby, but you must avoid profane swearing, which +is a habit you contracted when in the bonds of iniquity; but you must +reform it--or rather, grace will be given you to reform it." + +"I hope so," replied Darby, "and that I'll still get a clearer knowledge +of the truth, plaise Goodness." + +Darby, as he uttered these words, would have given a trifle to have had +M'Clutchy to look at. Little did Solomon suspect the truth to which his +convert alluded. + +"May it in charity be granted!" exclaimed Solomon, slightly twitching up +his eyebrows. "But, Darby, will you be properly prepared on next Sabbath +(D.V.) to bear strong testimony against error and idolatry?" + +"Why, I'll do my best, sir," replied Darby, "and you know the best can +do no more." + +"Well, but you can faithfully say that you are utterly free from every +taint of Popery." + +"Faith, sir, I don't know that that would be altogether prudent. Did you +never hear of the ould proverb, sir--not to throw out the dirty water +till you get in the clane--I'm not sure that I have a sufficient grip +of the new light yet," said Darby, falling unconsciously into his usual +style of conversation, "but, I hope that by next Sunday, I'll be able +to shine;--an', be me sowl, if I don't, sir, it'll be none o' my +fawt--divil resave the purtier convert in Europe than I'll make when I +come to know a little about it." + +"Darby," said Solomon, impatiently, "this is really very trying to one +so anxious for your spiritual welfare as I am. This awful swearing--I +really fear that some of your light has been withdrawn since our last +interview." + +"Not at all unlikely," replied Darby; "but wid great submission, don't +you think, sir, that two religions is betther than one?" + +"How do you mean by adverting to such an impossibility?" + +"Why, sir, suppose I kept the ould one, and joined this new reformation +to it, wouldn't I have two chances instead o' one?" + +"Darby," said Solomon, "avoid, or rather Pray that you may be enabled +to avoid the enemy; for I fear he is leading you into a darker error. +I tell you--I say unto you--that you would be much better to have no +religion than the Popish. You have reminded me of one proverb, suffer me +to remind you of another; do you not know, to speak in a worldly figure, +that an empty house is better than a bad tenant? why, I looked on you +with pride, with a kind of and joy as one wilom I had wrestled for, and +won from the enemy; but I fear you are elapsing." + +"I hope in God sir," very gravely, "that you and he won't have to toss +up for me; for I feel myself sometimes one thing, and sometimes the +other." + +"Ah!" replied Solomon, "I fear I must give you up, and in that case it +will not be in my power to employ you in a very confidential matter, +the management of which I imagined I could have entrusted to you. +That, however, cannot be now, as no one not amply provided with strong +religious dispositions, could be relied on in it." + +Darby, who, in fact, was playing M'Slime precisely as a skilful +fisherman does his fish; who, in order to induce him the more eagerly to +swallow the bait, pretends to withdraw it from his jaws, by which means +it is certain to be gulped down, and the fish caught. + +"Ah, sir," replied Darby, "I'm greatly afeared that every person like me +must struggle with great temptations." + +"That is an excellent observation," said Solomon; "and I do suppose, +that since this desirable change took place in your heart, you must have +been woefully beset." + +"Never suffered so much in my life," replied the other. "Now there's +your two beautiful tracts, and may I never die in sin--I hope, sir, +there's no great harm in that oath? + +"No great harm but you had better omit it, however--it smacks of sin and +superstition." + +"Well, sir--may I never--I beg pardon--but any how, the truth is, that +ever since I tuck to readin' them, I feel myself gettin' as dishonest as +if the devil--" + +"Do not name him so, Darby--it is profane; say the enemy, or Satan, or +the tempter." + +"As if the whole three o' them, then, war at my elbow. Why, for the +last three or four days, I may say, they have cleared me out as clane +of honesty as the black boy himself, and it is worse I am gettin'. Now, +sir, it stands to sense, that that's temptation." + +"Unquestionably; and my great hope and consolation is, that you +yourself are conscious of it. All you have to do now, is to pray +unceasingly--wrestle in prayer, and you will ultimately triumph. Sing +spiritual songs, too; read my tracts with attention; and, in short, +if you resist the dev--hem--Satan, they will flee from you. Give +that letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, and let me see you on the day after +to-morrow--like a giant refreshed with new strength." + +"Well, now," said Darby, assuming a more serious look--"do you know, +sir, that I think your words have put new strength into me. Somehow +I feel as if there was a load removed from me. May the mother of +heaven--hem--I do, sir; and now, as a proof of it, I wouldn't feel +justified, sir, in leaving you, widout sayin' a word or two about the +same M'Clutchy, who, between you and me--but I hope it won't go farther, +sir?" + +"I don't think it would be permitted to me to betray confidence--I +humbly think so. Be not afraid, but speak." + +"Why, sir, he has got a dirty trick of speakin' disrespectfully of you +behind your back." + +"Human weakness, Darby! poor profligate man! Proceed, what does he say?" + +"Why, sir, if it 'ud be agreeable to you, I'd rather not be goin' over +it." + +"We should know our friends from our enemies, O'Drive; but I forgive +him, and shall earnestly pray for him this night. What did he say?" + +"Why he said, sir--verily, thin, I'm ashamed to say it." + +"Did he speak only of myself?" inquired Solomon, with something like a +slight, but repressed appearance of alarm. + +"Oh, of nobody else, sir. Well, then, he said, sir--but sure I'm only +repatin' his wicked words--he said, sir, that if you were cut up into +the size of snipe shot, there would be as much roguery in the least +grain of you, as would corrupt a nation of pickpockets." + +"Poor man! I forgive him. Do you not see me smile, Darby?" + +"I do, indeed, sir." + +"Well, that is a smile of forgiveness--of pure Christian +forgiveness--free from the slightest taint of human infirmity. I am +given to feel this delightful state of mind at the present moment--may +He be praised!--proceed." + +"It is a blessed state, sir, and as you can bear it--and as I can trust +you, what I could not him--I will go on:--" he said, "besides, sir, that +your example had made the ould boy himself a worse boy now than he had +ever been before he ever knew you I--that in temptin' you, he got new +dodges of wickedness that he was never up to till he met you, and +that he's now receivin' lessons from you in the shape of a convartin' +parson." + +"Ah! well!--I see, I see--that is an unchristian allusion to my recent +intercourse with the Rev. Phineas Lucre, the respected and highly +connected rector of Castle Cumber, and his nephew, the Rev. Boanerges +Frothwell, both of whom take a deep interest in the New Reformation +movement which is now so graciously advancing. However, I shall pray for +that man this night." + +"Sir, I feel much relieved; I'm a changed man widin these few minutes, I +may say--but what, afther all, is aquil to a good example? I feel, sir, +as if a strong hatred of idolaphry was comin' an me." + +"Idolatry, you mean, Darby?" + +"Yes, sir, that's what I mean." + +"Where is that letter of Mr. M'Clutchy's--oh, I have it. Well, Darby," +said M'Slime, quietly changing it for another, "here it is; now, do you +see how I commit that letter to the flames?" placing M'Clutchy's under +the side of a brief; "and even as the flames die away before your eyes, +so dies away--not my resentment, Darby, for none do I entertain against +him--but the memory of his offensive expressions." + +"Sir," said Darby, "this is wonderful! I often heard of religion and +forgiveness of injuries, but antil this day I never saw them in their +thrue colors. The day after to-morrow I'm to call, sir?" + +"The day after to-morrow." + +"Well, sir, may the Holy Virgin this day--och, indeed I do not know what +I'm sayin' sir--Religion! well if that's not religion what is or can be? +Good mornin' sir." + +"Good morning, Darby, and remember my advice--pray, sing, wrestle--peace +be with you!" + + + + +CHAPTER XI.--Darby and Solomon at Prayer + +--An Instance of Pure Charity---Candidates for Conversion--An +Appropriate Confidence--The Rev. Phineas Lucre and his Curate, Mr. +Clement--Rev. Father Roche and his Curate, Father M'Cabe. + + +Darby was opening the hall-door, when, as if struck by a new train +of thought, he again tapped at the office door, and begged pardon for +entering. + +"I'm in a sweet state, sir," said he; "and would you forgive me, now +that my heart is, full, by lookin' at such an example, if I tuck +the liberty of axin' you to kneel down and offer a Father an' Ave +an'--hem--och, what am I sayin'--an' offer up a wurd in saison for that +unfortunate blaggard, M'Clutchy--any how, it'll improve myself, and +I feel as if there was new strength put into me. Oh, the netarnal +scoundrel! To spake the way he did of sich a man--sich a scantlin of +grace--of--oh, then, do, sir; let us offer up one prayer for him, the +vagabond!" + +The reader will perceive, however, by and by, that Darby's sudden and +enthusiastic principle of charity towards M'Clutchy, wanted that very +simple requisite, sincerity--a commodity, by the way, in which the +worthy bailiff never much dealt. Indeed we may say here, that the object +of his return was connected with anything but religion. + +A shade of feeling, somewhat rueful, sat on M'Slime's features, until +he caught Darby's eye fixed upon him, when, after rebuking him for the +terms in which he proposed the, prayer, he knelt down, and with a most +serene smile, commenced an earnest supplication, which became still more +vehement--then louder--bewailed his lost state--deplored his keeping +aloof from the means of grace--feared that the example of his old, and +sinful, and blasphemous father, and his most profligate mother, had +rendered his heart impenetrable to all visitations of conscience or +religion--if conscience he ever had, or religion he ever heard; both of +which, he, the humble and sinful suppliant, doubted. What then was his +state? Oh! how could a charitable or truly religious heart bear to think +of it without being deeply affected"--handkerchief here applied to the +eyes, and some sobs--a nondescript sound from Darby, accompanied by +a most pathetic shaking of the sides--evidently as much affected as +M'Slime.--The prayer was then wound up in a long, heavy, dolorous +cadence, which evidently proceeded from a strong conviction that he who +prayed was laboring against all hope and expectation that the humble +"mean" then adopted would be attended by any gracious result--the voice +consequently quavered off into a most dismal sound, which seemed, as +it were, to echo back a doleful answer to their solicitations, +and accordingly Solomon rose up with a groan that could not be +misunderstood. + +"You see, O'Drive," said he, "we have received no answer--or rather +a bad one--I fear his is a hopeless case, as, indeed, that of every +reprobate and castaway is; and this distresses me." + +"Mr. M'Slime," said Darby, "will you excuse me, sir--but the thruth +is, I never properly knew you before." These words he uttered in a low +confidential voice, precisely such as we might suppose a man to speak +in, who, under his circumstances, had got new convictions. "I'll appear +next Sabbath, and what is better, I think in a few days I'll be able to +bring three or four more along wid me." + +"Do you think so?" said M'Slime, a good deal elated at the thought; for +the attorney was only playing his game, which certainly was not the case +with the greater number of the new reformation men, who were as sincere +in their motives as he was hypocritical in his exertions. "And what are +their names, Darby?" + +"I feel, sir," replied O'Drive, "that it's my duty as a Christian, +brought out of the land of cordage--" + +"Bondage, Darby." + +"Of bondage, to do all I can for the spread o' the gospel. Their names," +responded Darby, rubbing his elbow with a perplexed face; "don't you +think sir it would be better to wait awhile, till we'd see what could be +done with them privately?" + +"No, Darby, give me their names and residences, and I will see, that +however hard the times are, they shall not at least be starved for want +of--truth." + +"Well, then," said Darby, "first, there is Paudeen Rafferty, of +Dernascobe; Paudeen, sir, is, at the present spaking, badly given to +drink, and he swears, and fights mortially, too, the hathen; but, then, +he's in darkness, sir, yet; and you know that the greater the sinner the +greater the saint. If Paudeen was dacently convarted he'd make a mighty +fine Christian no doubt. To be sure he has two wives, along wid his love +for liquor and fightin'; but wouldn't it be a good plan to bring them +over, too, sir; the poor lost cratures, sunk, as they are, in hathenism +and vociferation?" + +"Very good, I have him down, Darby; we must struggle, however, to win +him over and to induce him to give up his guilty connections. Are they +young, Darby!" + +"Two of the best looking young women in the parish." + +"We must only see, then, if they can be rescued also; for that is a +duty--a pressing duty, certainly." + +"But I'm afeard, sir, it 'ud take a ship load o' Scripture to convart +the three o' them." + +"We shall try, however; nothing is to be despaired of under such +circumstances, unless I am afraid the regeneration of that unhappy man +M'Clutchy--(eyes turned up). Who next?" + +"Why, you may set down Harry M'Murt, of Drinnska. Harry's an unsettled +kind of fellow, or as they call him a Rake. It would be an active +charity to convert him--and that could convert him for he has as many +twists in him as an eel--if it was only for the sake of gettin' him to +spake the truth." + +"Who else, Darby?" + +"Put down Charley Casey, sir; and if you take my advice, you'll set +in at the convarsion of him while his famine lasts--otherwise, he's a +bitter idolapher as ever welted an Orangeman; but against that, he +has the stomach o' three men--and the best time to come at him wid the +gospel is the present. Bait it wid a flitch of bacon on the one side, +and a collop o' fresh meat on the other, now before the praties comes +in, and you're sure of him." + +"Any others, Dairby?--but, indeed, as far as we have gone yet, the cases +appear to me to be difficult ones. However, there is joy in heaven, +Darby, over one sinner--and surely the greater the sin the greater the +joy and the triumph. Any others?" + +"Mark down Molly Crudden, sir--she would be a glorious catch if a word +in saison could fasten on her. She goes by the name of Funny Eye. The +poor woman is mother to a large family of childre, sir; and the worst of +it is, that no two o' them goies by the same name. It would be a proud +day that we could make sure of her, especially as Father Roche and Mr. +M'Cabe, his curate, were obliged to give her up, and forbid her the +parish; but Funny Eye only winks and laughs at them and the world. She's +the last, sir--but I'll be on the look out, God willin', for a few more +desperate cases to crown our victory over the dev--ahem! over Satan and +the priests." + +"Well, then, let me see you, as I said, the day after to-morrow, and in +the mean time--peace, and joy, and victory be with you!" + +"The same to you, sir, and many of them! Amin--I pray the sweet queen o' +heaven this day!" + +"Darby," said M'Slime, who looked upon his mingling up religious +expressions peculiar to his class as a proof of his sincerity--"Darby," +said he in a low, condensed, and collected voice--"I said I had the +execution of a commission to entrust to you." + +"But, sir," said Darby, whose ears, could they have shaped themselves +according to his wishes, would have ran into points in order to hear +with more acuteness--"Sir," said he, "I doubt I'm not worthy of such a +trust." + +"Perfectly worthy, Darby," continued Solomon, "if I did not think so I +would not employ you--I have engaged another person to prepare, as it +were, the way for you; but the truth is, it would never do to allow that +person and the young person of whom you are going to take charge to +be seen together. Evil constructions would most assuredly be put on +innocent actions, Darby, as they often are; and for this reason it +is that I have partly changed my mind, and will entrust one-half the +commission I speak of to you." As if, however, he feared that the very +walls might justify the old proverb by proving that they had ears, +he stood up and whispered a short, but apparently most interesting +communication to Darby, who appeared to listen to a tale that was +calculated rather to excite admiration than any other feeling. And +we have little doubt, indeed, that the tale in question was given as +illustrating the exertion of as pure an instance of Christian compassion +and benevolence as ever was manifested in the secret depths of that true +piety which shuns the light; for Darby's journey was most assuredly to +be made in the dark and still hours of the night. On opening the door +a party of three or four clients were about to knock, but having given +them admission he went away at rather a brisk, if not a hasty pace. + +Darby having concluded this interview was proceeding, not exactly in the +direction of M'Clutchy's, but as the reader shall soon hear, to a very +different person, no other than the Rev. Phineas Lucre, D.D., Rector of +the Parish of Castle Cumber; a living at that time worth about eighteen +hundred a year. + +The Rev. Phineas Lucre, then, was a portly gentleman, having a proud, +consequential air stamped upon his broad brow and purple features. +His wife was niece to a nobleman, through whose influence he had been +promoted over the head of a learned and pious curate, whose junior +Mr. Lucre had been in the ministry only about the short period of +twenty-five years. Many persons said that the curate had been badly +treated in this transaction, but those persons must have known that +he had no friends except the poor and afflicted of his parish, whose +recommendation of him to his bishop, or the minister of the day, +would have had little weight. His domestic family, too, was large, a +circumstance rather to his disadvantage; but he himself was of studious, +simple, and inexpensive habits. As for dinners he gave none, except +a few fragments of his family's scanty meal to some hungry, perhaps, +deserted children, or to a sick laborer when abandoned by his landlord +or employer, the moment he became unable to work. From the gentry of +the neighborhood he got no invitations, because he would neither +sing--dance--drink--nor countenance the profligacies of their sons--nor +flatter the pride and vanity of their wives and daughters. For these +reasons, and because he dared to preach home truths from his pulpit, he +and his unpretending children had been frequently made objects of their +ridicule and insolence. What right, then, had any one to assert that the +Rev. Mr. Clement had received injustice by the promotion over his head +of the Rev. Phineas Lucre, to the wealthy living of Castle Cumber, +when he had no plausible or just grounds beyond those to which we have +adverted, on which to rest his claim for preferment? The curate was +pious, we admit, but, then, his wife's uncle was not a lord. He was +learned, but, then, he had neither power nor the inclination to repay +his patrons--supposing him to have such, by a genius for intrigue, +or the possession of political influence. He discharged his religious +duties as well as the health of a frame worn by affliction, toil, and +poverty, permitted him; but, then, he wrote no pamphlets adapted to the +politics by which he might rise in the church. He visited the sick and +prayed with them; but he employed not his abilities in proving to the +world that the Establishment rewarded piety and learning, rather than +venal talents for state intrigue or family influence. + +Far different from him was his aforenamed rector, the Rev. Phineas +Lucre. Though immeasurably inferior to his curate in learning, and +all the requisite qualifications for a minister of God, yet was he +sufficiently well read in the theology of his day, to keep up a splendid +equipage. Without piety to God, or charity to man, he possessed, +however, fervent attachment, to his church, and unconquerable devotion +to his party. If he neglected the widow and the orphan whom he could +serve, he did not neglect the great and honorable, who could serve +himself. He was inaccessible to the poor, 'tis true; but on the other +hand, what man exhibited such polished courtesy, and urbanity of manner, +to the rich and exalted. Inferiors complained that he was haughty and +insolent; yet it was well known, in the teeth of all this, that no man +ever gave more signal proofs of humility and obedience to those who +held patronage over him. It mattered little, therefore, that he had +no virtues for the sick, or poverty-stricken, in private life, when he +possessed so many excellent ones for those in whose eyes it was worth +while to be virtuous as a public man. + +Mr. Lucre, possessing high political connection, and withal affecting +to be very religious, presented singular points of character for +observation. He was a great disciplinarian in theory, and rendered it +imperative on his poor overworn curate to be so in practice; but being +always engaged in the pursuit of some ecclesiastical windfall, he +consequently spent most of his time, and of his money, either in our +own metropolis or London--but principally in the latter. He did not, +however, leave either his discipline or his devotion as a public +man behind him. In Dublin, he was practical in worshipping the Lord +Lieutenant--and in London, the King; whilst his curate was only +worshipping God in the country. The result of his better sense and more +seasonable piety soon became evident, on his part, in the shape of an +appointment to a second living; and that of his curate, in obscurity, +poverty, and that useless gift, a good conscience. + +We have said that Mr. Lucre was not Pious; yet we are far from saying +that he had not all the credit of piety. His name, in fact, was always +conspicuous among the most bountiful contributors to the religious +societies. Indeed he looked upon most of them as excellent auxiliaries +to the cold and scanty labors of those worldly-minded or indolent +pastors, who think, when they have furnished every family in the parish +with a Bible and a sheaf of tracts, that they have done their duty. Mr. +Lucre, consequently, bore an excellent character everywhere but among +the poor, sick, and indigent of his two large parishes; and if a +eulogium had been called for on him, he would have received an admirable +one from the societies to whose funds he contributed, from the gentry of +his respective parishes, and from the grand juries of the two counties +in which they we're situated. + +What more than this could be expected? Here was ample testimony for +those who required it, to establish the zeal, efficiency, talents, +integrity, charity and piety of that worthy and useful minister of +God--the Rev. Phineas Lucre, D.D. + +Such were a few of the virtues which belonged to this gentleman. His +claims for preferment were, indeed, peculiarly strong; and when we +mention the political influence of himself and his friends, his wife's +powerful connections, added to his able pamphlets, and the great mass +of sound information regarding the state of the country, which in the +discharge of his religious duties, he communicated from time to time to +the government of the day--we think we have said enough to satisfy our +readers that he ought not to be overlooked in the wealthy and pious +Establishment, which the Irish Church then was. Still, in fact, we +cannot stop here, for in good truth Mr. Lucre had yet stronger claims +for preferment than any we have yet mentioned. He did not stand in need +of it. In addition to a large dowry received with his wife, he possessed +a private fortune of fourteen hundred pounds per annum, with which, +joined to his two large livings, he was enabled to turn out a very +primitive and apostolic equipage, such as would have made the hearts +of the Apostles rejoice in reflecting, that so many new virtues were +to spring up in the progress of society from the lowly-religion they +established. + +Such is a pretty full sketch of a large class which existed at a former +period in the Established Church of Ireland. Mr. Lucre was, besides, +what may be termed one of the first fruits of that which is called +modern sanctity or saintship, being about two-thirds of the Tory and +High Churchman, and one of the Evangelical. + +In the same parish of Castle Cumber resided two other clergyman of +a different creed and character; the Rev. James Roche, the venerable +parish priest, was one of those admirable pastors whose lives are the +most touching and beautiful exponent of the Christian faith. In this +amiable man were combined all these primitive virtues which are so +suitable, and, we may add, necessary, to those who are called upon to +mingle with the cares and affections, joys and sufferings, of an humble +people. Without pride, beyond the serene simplicity which belonged to +his office, he yet possessed the power of engaging the affections and +respect of all who knew him, whether high or low. With the poor, and +those entrusted to his spiritual charge, were all his sympathies, both +as a man and a pastor. His, indeed, was no idle charge, nor idly, nor +with coldness or pride, were its duties entered upon or performed. His +little purse and small means were, less his own than the property of the +poor around him; his eye was vigilant of want and of sorrow, of crime +and frailty--and wherever the painful rebuke, the humble and the +consoling word was necessary, there stood he to I administer it. Such +was Father Roche, as the pastor of a large but poor flock, who had few +sympathies to expect, save those which this venerable man was able to +afford them. Very different from him, on the other hand, was his +curate, the Rev. Patrick M'Cabe, or M'Flail, as he was nicknamed by the +Orangemen of the parish, in consequence of a very unsacerdotal tendency +to use the horsewhip, as a last resource, especially in cases where +reason and the influence of argument failed. He was a powerful young +man, in point of physical strength, but as his temperament was hot and +choleric, the consciousness of this strength often led him, under its +impulse, in desperate cases, to a mode of reasoning, which, after +all, no man more than himself subsequently regretted. Zealous he +unquestionably was, but beyond the bounds prescribed by a spirit of +Christian moderation. I know not how it happened, but the Orangeman +hated him with an intensity of detestation, which, however, he paid back +to them tenfold. His vast strength, which had been much improved by a +strong relish for athletic exercises, at which he was unrivaled, when +joined to a naturally courageous and combative temperament, often +prompted him to manifest, in cases of self-defence, the possession +of powers which they feared to call into exercise. This disposition, +however, which, after all, was not so unnatural, he properly restrained +and kept I in subjection; but, in order to compensate for it, he +certainly did pepper them, in his polemical discourses, with a vehemence +of abuse, which, unquestionably, they deserved at his hands--and got. +With the exception of too much zeal in religious matters, his conduct +was, in every other respect, correct and proper. + +To return now to Darby, whose steps have been directed, not exactly +towards Constitution Cottage, but towards the spacious glebe-house of +the Rev. Phineas Lucre, which brought him about a mile or two out of his +way. The fact is he was beginning to tire of M'Slime, who, whenever he +had occasion for his services, was certain to shear him of his fees +on the one hand precisely as M'Clutchy did on the other. The change of +agents was consequently of no advantage to him, as he had expected it +would be; for such was the rapacity of the two harpies that each of +them took as much as they could out of the unfortunate tenants, and left +Darby little to comfort himself, with the exception of what he got +by their virtuous example, an example which he was exceedingly apt to +follow, if not to exceed. For this reason he detested them both, and +consequently felt a natural anxiety to set them together by the ears +whenever he thought the proper occasion for it should arrive. Now, an +event had taken place the very day before this, which opened up to his +mind a new plan of operations altogether. This was the death of the +under gaoler of Castle Cumber. Darby began to think of this as a good +speculation, should it succeed; but alas! upon second reflection there +stood an insurmountable difficulty in his way. He was a Roman Catholic +so far as he was anything; and this being a situation of too much trust +and confidence at the period to be given to any one of that persuasion, +he knew he he could not obtain it. Well, but here again he was +fortunate, and not without the prospect of some consolation. The +extraordinary movement in the religious world, called the New +Reformation, had just then set in with a liveliness of judgment, and a +celerity of conversion among the lower classes of Roman Catholics, which +scarcely anybody could understand. The saints, however, or evangelical +party, headed by an amiable, benevolent, but somewhat credulous +nobleman, on whose property the movement first commenced, ascribed this +extraordinary conversion altogether to themselves. + +The season to be sure in which it occurred was one of unprecedented +destitution and famine. Fuel was both scarce and bad--the preceding +crops had failed, and food was not only of a deleterious quality, but +scarcely to be procured at all. The winter, too, was wet and stormy, and +the deluges of rain daily and incessant. In fact, cold, and nakedness, +and hunger met together in almost every house and every cabin, with the +exception of those of the farmers alone, who, by the way, mostly held +land upon a very small scale. In this district, then, and in such a +period of calamity, and misery, and utter famine, did the movement +called the New Reformation originate. + +"Sure, blood alive," thought Darby, "now that every one's turnin', +there's no harm to have a thrial at it myself; I can become as good a +Prodestan as most o' them in four and twenty hours, and stand a chance +of the Jaolership for my pains. I'll go to Mr. Lucre, who is a gentleman +at any rate, and allow him to think he has the convartin' o' me. Well," +he proceeded, with a chuckle, "it's one comfort, divil a much religion +I have to lose; and another, that the divil a much I have to gain in +exchange; and now," he went on, "there's little Solomon thinks I did'nt +see him burnin' the wrong letther; but faith, Solomon, my lad, there +must be something in it that would do neither you nor M'Clutchy much +good, if it was known, or you wouldn't thry that trick--but, in the mean +time, I've secured them both." + +Now, the reader must know, that Darby's return in such a truly +charitable spirit to ask Solomon for the virtue of his prayers in behalf +of M'Clutchy, was as knavish a ruse as ever was put in practice. Solomon +had placed M'Clutchy's letter secretly under a brief, as we have said, +and Darby, who knew the identical spot and position in which M'Slime was +in the habit of praying, knew also that he would kneel with his back to +the desk on which the brief lay. It all happened precisely as he wished, +and, accordingly, while Solomon was doing the hypocrite, Darby did the +thief, and having let in those who were approaching, he came away, as we +said. + +He lost not a moment after he had got to a lonely part of the road, +in putting them between two flat stones--we mean M'Clutchy's letter to +Solomon, with that gentleman's answer. There, he determined, they should +remain until after dark, when he could secure both without risk, and see +what might be done with them. + +"Now," thought he, "that I've Solomon in a double pickle--for he can't +inquire about the letter without letting it be seen that he tould a +lie, and practised a bit of knavery, any how--an' as regwdin' the other +thing, I have him fast." + +In the meantime, Father M'Cabe, who had read M'Slime's paragraph in the +Castle Cumber "True Blue," respecting Darby's conversion, had a sharp +eye out for him, as they term it in the country. Indeed, after two or +three vain attempts to see him, the Rev. gentleman was satisfied with +sending him a gentle message of congratulation upon his change of +creed, which was significantly wound up by a slight hint, that he might, +probably, on their next meeting, give him a nice treat, but of what +particular description was not communicated. Darby having secured the +letters as described, was proceeding at a pretty quick pace towards Mr. +Lucre's, when, whom should he meet in a narrow part of the way, which +was enclosed between two immense white thorn hedges, through which any +notion of escape was impracticable--but the Rev. Father M'Cabe. He +tried every shift--looked back as if he expected some friend to follow +him--then to the right--again to the left--then stooped to examine the +ground, as if he had lost something of value or importance. At length, +finding every other trick useless, he adopted that one so common among +boys in desperate cases--we mean the attempt to make a mask of the right +shoulder in order to conceal the face. Even this failed, and he found +himself compelled to meet the fixed and stern gaze of the colossal +priest, who was on horseback, and bore in his huge right hand a whip, +that might, so gripped, have tamed a buffalo, or the centaur himself, if +he were not fabulous. + +"Why--my good, honest and most religious friend, Mr. Darby O'Drive--the +odor of whose sanctity, you scoundrel, has already perfumed the whole +Parish--is it possible that Providence in kindness to me, and in pure +justice to yourself, has thrown you into my way at last." This for the +present was accompanied only by a peculiar quivering motion of the whip, +resulting from the quick vibrations which his sense of Darby's hypocrisy +had communicated through the hand to the weapon which it held. + +"God save your Reverence!" replied Darby, "an' in troth I'm glad to +see you look so well--faith it's in a glow o' health you are, may God +continue it to you! Be my sowl, it's you that can pepper the Orangemen, +any how, your Reverence--and how is Father Roche, sir--although sure +enough he's no match for you in givin' it home to the thieves." + +"Silence, you hypocritical sleeveen, don't think you'll crawl up my +wrist--as you do up M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's. Is it true that you have +become an apostate?" + +Darby here attempted to work up a kind of sly significant wheedling +expression into his eye, as he stole a half timid, half confidant glance +at the priest--but it would not do--the effort was a failure, and no +wonder--for there before him sat the terrible catechist like an embodied +thunder cloud--red, lurid, and ready to explode before him--nay he could +see the very lightning playing and scintillating in his eyes, just as +it often does about the cloud before the bursting of the peal. In this +instance there was neither sympathy nor community of feeling between +them, and Darby found that no meditated exposition of pious fraud, +such as "quartering on the enemy," or "doing the thieves," or any other +interested ruse, had the slightest chance of being tolerated by the +uncompromising curate. The consequence was, that the rising roguery died +away from Darby's face, on which there remained nothing but a blank +and baffled expression, that gave strong assurance of his being in a +situation of great perplexity. The most timid and cowardly animals will, +however, sometimes turn upon their captors, and Darby although he +felt no disposition to bandy words with the curate, resolved, +notwithstanding, to abide by the new creed, until he should be able +to ascertain his chance of the gaolership. There was, besides, another +motive. He knew Mr. Lucre's character so well, that he determined to +pursue such a course, during his interview, as might ensure him a sound +horse-whipping; for it occurred to him that a bit of martyrdom would +make a capital opening argument during his first interview with Mr. +Lucre. + +"Did you hear me, sir?" again inquired the curate, making his whip +whistle past his own right foot, just as if he had aimed it at the +stirrup--"is it true that you have turned apostate?" + +"I thought you knew it, sir," said Darby, "or if you didn't, why did you +read me out the Sunday before last from the althar?" + +"Then you acknowledge it," cried the priest, "you have the brass to +acknowledge it, have you?" And here the whip made a most ferocious sweep +in the air. + +"Yes," replied Darby, thinking by the admission to increase the +impending castigation--"yes, sir; I don't belong to your flock now--you +have no authority whatsomever over me--mind that." + +[Illustration: PAGE 216-- Oh, what a sweet convert you are] + +"Haven't I indeed, Mr. Convert--oh, what a sweet convert you are--but +we'll see whether I have or not, by and by. Where are you bound for now? +To taste of Mr. Lucre's flesh pots? eh?" + +"I'm bound for Mr. Lucre's, sure enough; and I hope there's no great +harm in that." + +"Oh, none in the world, my worthy neophyte, none. Mr. Lucre's argument +and Lord ----'s bacon are very powerful during this hard season. Those +that haven't a stitch to their backs are clothed--those that haven't a +morsel to eat are fed--and if they haven't a fire, they get plenty of +fuel to burn their apostate skins at; and because this heretical crew +avail themselves of the destitution of these wretches--and lure them +from their own faith by a blanket and a flitch of bacon, they call that +conversion--the new Reformation by the way, ha--ha--ha--oh, it's too +good!" + +"And do you think, sir," said Darby, "that if they had a hard or an +enlightened hoult of their own creed, that that would do it?" + +The whip here described a circle, one part of whose circumference sang +within a few inches of Darby's ear--who, forgetting his relish for +martyrdom, drew back his head to avoid it. + +"None of your back jaw," said M'Cabe; "don't you know, sirra, that in +spite of this Methodist Lord and the proud parson's temptations, you +are commanded to renounce the devil, the world, and the flesh? Don't you +know that?" + +"But," replied Darby, "are we commanded to renounce the devil, the +world, and a bit o' fresh mait?" + +"Ha--you snivelling scoundrel," said the curate, "you've got their +arguments already I see--but I know how to take them out of you, before +you leave my hands." + +"Surely," continued Darby, "you wouldn't have a naked man renounce a +warm pair o' breeches, or a good coat to his back--does the Scriptur +forbid him that?" + +"You will have it," replied the curate, who felt for the moment +astounded at Darby's, audacity, "you are determined on it; but I will +have patience with you yet, a little, till I see what brought you over, +if I can. Don't you admit, as I said, that you are commanded to renounce +the devil, the world, and the flesh--particularly the flesh, sirra, for +there's a peculiar stress laid upon that in the Greek." + +"Well, but does it go in the Greek against a flitch o' bacon and a wisp +o' greens, your reverence? Faith, beggin' your pardon, if you were to +see some o' the new convarts, how comfortable they are wid their good +frieze coats, and their new warm blankets, sittin' beside their good +fires, you'd maybe not blame them so much as you do. Your religion, sir, +only provides for the sowl; but theirs, you see, provides any how for +the body--and faith, I say, the last is a great advantage in these hard +times." + +The priest's astonishment increased at the boldness with which Darby +continued the argument, or rather, which prompted him to argue at all. +He looked at him, and gave a smile. + +"Well," said he, almost forgetting his anger--for he was by no means +deficient in a perception of the humorous--"but no matter--it will do +by and by. You villain," said he, forced into the comic spirit of the +argument; "do you not know that it said--cursed is he who becometh an +apostate, and eateth the flesh of heretics." + +"Aitin' the flesh of heretics is forbidden, I dare say, sure enough," +replied Darby; "an' troth it's a commandment not likely to be +broken--for dirty morsels they are, God knows; but is there anything +said against aitin' the flesh of their sheep or cows--or that forbids us +to have a touch at a good fat goose, or a turkey, or any harmless little +trifle o' the kind? Troth myself never thought, sir, that beef or mutton +was of any particular religion before." + +"Yes, sir; beef and mutton, when they're good, are Catholic--but when +they're lean, why, like a bad Christian, they're Protestant, of course, +and that's well known," said the priest, still amused, against his will, +by Darby's arguments. + +"Faith, and wid great respect, the same is but a poor argument for your +own--hem--I mane, sir, for your church; for if the best beef and mutton +be of the thrue religion, the Protestants have it all to nothing. +There, they're infallible, and no mistake. The fat o' the land, your +reverence," said Darby, with a wink; "don't you understand? They've got +that any how." + +A slight cut of the whip across the shoulders made him jump and rub +himself, whilst the priest, struck with his utter want of principle, +exclaimed. + +"You double-dealing scoundrel, how dare you wink at me, as if we felt +anything in common?" + +The blow occasioned Darby's gorge to rise; for like every other knave, +when conscious of his own dishonesty, and its detection, he felt his bad +passions overpower him. + +"You must," said the priest, whose anger was now excited by his +extraordinary assurance--"you must renounce their religion, you must +renounce M'Slime and Lucre--their flitches, flannels, and friezes. You +must--" + +"Beggin' your pardon," said Darby, "I never received any of their +flitches or their flannels. I don't stand in need of them--it's an +enlightened independent convart I am." + +"Well, then," continued the priest, "you must burn their tracts and +their treatises, their books and Bibles of every description, and return +to your own church." + +"To become acquainted," replied Darby, "with that piece o' doctrine +in your hand there? Faith and I feel the truth o' that as it is, your +reverence; and it is yourself that can bring it home to one. But, why, +wid submission, don't you imitate Father Roche? By me sowl, I tell you +to your face, that so long; as you take your divinity from the saddler's +shop, so long you will have obedient men, but indifferent Catholics." + +"What!" replied M'Cabe, in a rage, "do you dare to use such language to +my face--a reprobate--a brazen contumacious apostate! I've had this +in for you; and now (here he gave him a round half dozen) go off to +M'Slime, and Lucre, and Lord------, and when you see them, tell them +from me, that if they don't give up perverting my flock, I'll give them +enough of their own game." + +Darby's face got pale, with a most deadly expression of rage--an +expression, indeed, so very different from that cringing, creeping one +which it usually wore, that M'Cabe, on looking at him, felt startled, if +not awed, intrepid and exasperated as he was. Darby stood and looked at +him coldly, but, at the same time, with unflinching fearlessness in the +face. + +"You have done it," he said, "and I knew you would. Now, listen to +me--are you not as aiger to make convarts as either M'Slime or Lucre?" + +"You will have it again, you scoundrel," said the curate, approaching +him with uplifted whip. + +"Stand back," said Darby, "I've jist got all I wanted--stand back, or by +all the vestments ever you wore, if your whip only touches my body, +as light as if it wouldn't bend a feather, I'll have you in heaven, or +purgatory, before you can cry 'God forgive me.'" + +The other still advanced, and was about to let the whip fall, when Darby +stretched his right hand before him, holding a cocked and loaded pistol +presented to the curate's breast. + +"Now," said he, "let your whip fall if you like; but if you do, I'll +lodge this bullet," touching the pistol with his left forefinger, "in +your heart, and your last mass is said. You blame Lucre and M'Slime for +making convarts; but ai'en't you every bit as anxious to bring over +the Protestants as they are to bring over us? Aren't you paradin' them +Sunday af'ther Sunday, and boastin' that you are takin' more from the +heretics than they are takin' from you? Wasn't your last convart Bob +Beatty, that you brought over because he had the fallin' sickness, and +you left it upon him never to enter a church door, or taste bacon; and +now you have him that was a rank Orangeman and a blood-hound six weeks +ago, a sound Catholic to-day? Why, your reverence, with regard to +convart makin' divil the laist taste o' differ I see between you on +either side, only that they are able to give betther value in this world +for the change than you are--that's all. You're surprised at seeing my +pistols, but of late I don't go any where unprovided; for, to tell you +the thruth, either as a bailiff or a convart, it's not likely I'd be +safe widout them; and I think that yourself are a very good proof of +it." + +"Very well, my good, fine, pious convart; I'll keep my eye on you. I +understand your piety." + +"And I can tell you, my good, meek, pious priest, I'll keep mine on you; +and now pass on, if you're wise--and so _bannath lath_." + +Each then passed on, pursuing his respective destination. They had +not gone far, however, when both chanced to look back at the same +moment--M'Cabe shook his whip, with a frown, at Darby, who, on the +other side, significantly touched the pocket in which he carried his +fire-arms, and nodded his head in return. + +Now, it is an undeniable fact, that characters similar to that of Darby, +were too common in the country; and, indeed, it is to be regretted that +they were employed at all, inasmuch as the insolence of their conduct, +on the one hand, did nearly as much harm as the neglect of the +hard-hearted landlord himself, on the other. Be this as it may, however, +we are bound to say that Darby deserved much more at M'Cabe's hands than +either that Rev. gentleman was aware of then, or our readers now. The +truth was, that no sooner had M'Slime's paragraph touching Darby's +conversion gone abroad, than he became highly unpopular among the +Catholics of the parish. Father M'Cabe, in consequence of Darby's +conduct, and taking him as a specimen, uttered some lively prophecies, +touching' the ultimate fate of the new Reformation. He even admonished +his flock against Darby:-- + +"I have warned you all now," he said, "and if after this I hear of a +single perversion, woe be unto that pervert, for it is better for his +miserable soul that he had never been born. Is there a man here base +enough to sell his birthright for a mess of Mr. Lucre's pottage? Is +there a man here, who is not too strongly imbued with a hatred of +heresy, to laugh to scorn their bribes and their Bibles. Not a man, or, +if there is, let him go out from amongst us, in order that we may know +him--that we may avoid his outgoings and his incomings--that we may flee +from him as a pestilence--a plague--a famine. No, there is none here so +base and unprincipled as all that--and I here prophesy that from this +day forth, this Reformation has got its death-blow--and that time will +prove it. Now, remember, I warn you against their arts, their bribes, +and their temptations--and if, as I said, any one of this flock shall +prove so wicked as to join them--then, I say again, better for his +unfortunate soul that he had never come into existence, than to come in +contact with this leprous and polluted heresy." + +Darby having heard--for he never went to mass--that he was denounced by +the priest, and feeling that his carrying into execution the heartless +and oppressive proceedings of M'Clutchy had, taken together, certainly +made him as unpopular a man as any individual of his contemptible +standing in life could be, resolved, in the first place, to carry arms +for his own protection, and, in the next, to take a step which he +knew would vex the curate sorely. Accordingly, he lost no time in +circulating, and having it circulated by others, that the great +Reformation Society would give, in a private way, five guineas a head +to every convert, taking them either by the individual or the family, +although the conversion of the latter, he said, was far more coveted +than even a greater number of individuals, when they were not bound by +the same ties of blood, inasmuch, as the bringing them over by families +was an outpouring of grace which could not be withstood. The consequence +was, that all the profligate and unprincipled who had cold, and +nakedness, and famine, in addition to their own utter want of all moral +feeling to stimulate them, looked upon the new Reformation and its +liberal promises as a complete windfall blown into their way by some +unexpected piece of good fortune. Five guineas a head! And all for only +going to church, and gaining for ever more the heart and affections of +the good and kind Lord ------. There was also another class, the simple +and honest poor, who had no other way of avoiding all the rigors and +privations of that terrible season, than a painful compliance with the +only principle which could rescue themselves and their children, from a +state of things worse than death itself--and which might probably have +terminated in death--we mean the principle of the new Reformation. There +was, still, a third class--which consisted of a set of thorough Irish +wags, who looked upon the whole thing as an excellent joke--and who, +while they had not a rag to their backs, nor a morsel for their mouths, +enjoyed the whole ceremony of reading their recantation, renouncing +Popery, and all that, as a capital spree while it lasted, and a thing +that ought by all means to be encouraged, until better times came. + +In vain, therefore, did Father M'Cabe denounce and prophesy--in vain did +he launch all the dogmas of the church--in vain did he warn, lecture, +and threaten--Darby's private hint had gone abroad precisely a day +or two before their encounter, and the consequence was what might be +expected. Darby, in fact, overreached him, a circumstance of which, at +the period of their meeting, he was ignorant; but he had just learned +how "the word," as it was called, had spread, in so extraordinary a +manner, maugre all his opposition a short time before they met; and our +readers need not feel surprised at the tone and temper with which, after +having heard such intelligence, he addressed Darby, nor at the treatment +which that worthy personage received at his hands. Had he known that it +was Darby's "word" which in point of fact had occasioned "the spread" +we speak of, he would have made that worthy missionary exhibit a much +greater degree of alacrity than he did. + +Before Darby arrives at Mr. Lucre's, however, we must take the liberty +of anticipating him a little, in order to be present at a conversation +which occurred on this very subject between the worthy Rector and the +Rev. Mr. Clement, his curate. Mr. Clement, like the pious and excellent +Father Roche, was one of those clergymen who feel that these unbecoming +and useless exhibitions, called religious discussions, instead of +promoting a liberal or enlarged view of religion, are only calculated to +envenom the feelings, to extinguish charity, and to contract the +heart. Nay, more, there never was a discussion, they said--and we join +them--since the days of Ussher and the Jesuit, that did not terminate in +a tumult of angry and unchristian recrimination, in which all the common +courtesies of life, not to mention the professed duties of Christian +men, were trampled on, and violated without scruple. In the preparations +for the forthcoming discussion, therefore, neither of these worthy men +took any part whatsoever. The severe duties of so large a parish, the +calls of the sick, the poor, and the dying, together with the varied +phases of human misery that pressed upon their notice as they toiled +through the obscure and neglected paths of life, all in their opinion, +and, in ours, too, constituted a sufficiently ample code of duty, +without embroiling themselves in these loud and turbulent encounters. + +Mr. Clement, who, on this same day, had received a message from Mr. +Lucre, found that gentleman in remarkably good spirits. He had just +received a present of a fine haunch of venison from a fox-hunting +nobleman in the neighborhood, and was gloating over it, ere its descent +into the larder, with the ruddy fire of epicurism blazing in his eyes. +"Clement," said he, with a grave, subdued grunt of enjoyment, "come this +way--turn up the venison, Francis--eh, what say you now, Clement? Look +at the depth of the fat!--what a prime fellow that was!--see the flank +he had!--six inches on the ribs at, least! As our countryman, Goldsmith, +says, 'the lean was so white, and the fat was so ruddy.'" + +Clement had often before witnessed this hot spirit of luxury, which +becomes doubly carnal and gross in a minister of God. On this occasion +he did not even smile, but replied gravely, "I am not a judge of +venison, Mr. Lucre; but, I believe you have misquoted the poet, who, I +think, says, 'the fat was so white, and the lean was so ruddy.'" + +"Well, that's not much, Clement; but, if you were a judge, this would +both delight and astonish you. Now, Francis, I charge you, as you value +your place, your reputation, your future welfare, to be cautious +in dressing it. You know how I wish it done, and, besides, Lord +Mountmorgage, Sir Harry Beevor, Lord ------, and a few clerical friends, +are to dine with me. Come in Clement--Francis, you have heard what +I said! If that haunch is spoiled, I shall discharge you without a +character most positively, so look to it." + +When they entered the library, the table of which was covered with +religious magazines, missionary papers, and reports of religious +societies, both at home and abroad, Mr. Lucre, after throwing himself +into a rich cushioned arm-chair, motioned to his curate to take a seat. + +"I have sent for you, Clement," said he, "to have your advice and +assistance on a subject, in which, I feel confident, that as a sincere +and zealous Protestant, you will take a warm interest. You have heard of +the establishment of our New Reformation Society, of course." + +"I believe it is pretty generally known," replied Clement. + +"It is now," replied Lucre; "but our objects are admirable. We propose +to carry controversy into all the strongholds of Popery--to enlighten +both priest and people, and, if possible, to transfer the whole Popish +population--_per satiram_--by the lump, as it were--" + +"_Per saturum_, I believe," observed Clement, bowing, "if I may take the +liberty." + +"Sati, satu--well, you may be right; my memory, Clement, retains large +passages best, and ever did--to transfer the whole Popish population +to the Established Church. It is a noble, a glorious speculation, if it +only can be accomplished. Think of the advantages it would confer upon +us! What stability would it not give the Church." + +"I cannot exactly see what peculiar stability it would give the Church," +replied Clement, "with the exception of mere numbers alone." + +"How so--what do you mean?" + +"Why, sir," replied Clement, "if we had the numbers you speak of +to-morrow, we would be certainly worse off than we are today. They could +only pay us our tithes, and that they do as it is; if they formed a +portion, and the largest portion they would form, of our church, think +of the immense number of clergy they would require to look to their +religious wants--the number of churches and chapels of ease that must be +built--the number of livings that must be divided--nay, my dear sir, in +addition to this, you may easily see, that for every one bishop now, we +should have at least four, then, and that the incomes would diminish in +proportion. As it is now, sir, we have the tithes without the trouble of +laboring for them, but it would be a different case in your new position +of affairs." + +Mr. Lucre, who, in the heat of his zeal, had neither permitted himself +to see matters in this light, nor to perceive that Clement's arguments +concealed, under a grave aspect, something of irony and satire, looked +upon his curate with dismay--the smooth and rosy cheek got pale, as did +the whole purple face down to the third chin, each of which reminded one +of the diminished rainbows in the sky, if we may be allowed to except +that they were not so heavenly. + +"Clement," said he, "you amaze me--that is a most exceedingly clear view +of the matter. Transfer them! no such thing, it would be a most dreadful +calamity, unless church property were proportionately increased; but, +could not that be done, Clement? Yes," said he, exulting at the idea, +as one of which he ought to feel proud, "that could and would be +done--besides I relish the multiplication of the bishoprics, under any +circumstances, and therefore we will proceed with the Reformation. At +all events, it would be a great blessing to get rid of Popery, which we +would do, if we could accomplish this glorious project." + +"I must confess, sir," replied Mr. Clement gravely, "that I have never +been anxious for a mere change of speculative opinions in any man, +unless when accompanied by a corresponding improvement in his life and +morals. With respect to the Reformation Society, I beg leave to +observe that I think the plan for the present is unseasonable, and only +calculated to fill the kingdom with religious dissention and hatred. +The people, sir, are not prepared to have their religion taken by storm; +they are too shrewd for that; and I really think we have no just cause +to feel anxious for the conversion of those who cannot appreciate the +principles upon which they embrace our faith, as must be the case with +ninety-nine out of every hundred of them. I have ever been of opinion +that the policy pursued by England towards this country has been the +bane of its happiness. She deprived the Irish Roman Catholics of the +means of acquiring education, and then punished them for the crimes +which proceeded from their ignorance. They were a dissatisfied, a +tumultuous, and an impracticable, because they were an oppressed, +people; and where, by the way, is there a people, worthy to be named +such, who will or ought to rest contented under penal and oppressive +laws. But there was a day when they would have been grateful for the +relaxation of such laws. Oppression, however, has its traditions, and +so has revenge, and these can descend from father to son, without +education. If Roman Catholic disabilities had been removed at a proper +time, they would long since have been forgotten, but they were not, and +now they are remembered, and will be remembered. The prejudices of the +Roman Catholics, however, and their enmity towards those who oppressed +them, increased with their numbers and their knowledge. The religion of +those who kept them down was Protestant; and think you, sir, that, be +the merits of that religion what they may, these are the people to +come over in large masses, without esteem for us, reflection, or any +knowledge of its principles, and embrace the creed of the very men +whom they look upon as their oppressors. Sir, there is but one way of +converting the Irish, and it this:--Let them find the best arguments for +Protestantism in the lives of its ministers, and of all who profess it. +Let the higher Protestant clergy move more among the humbler classes +even of their own flocks--let them be found more frequently where +the Roman Catholic priest always is--at the sick-bed--in the house of +mourning, of death, and of sin--let them abandon the unbecoming pursuits +of an ungodly ambition--cast from them the crooked and dishonest +manoeuvres of political negotiation and intrigue--let them live more +humbly, and more in accordance with the gospel which they preach--let +them not set their hearts upon the church merely because it is a wealthy +corporation, calculated rather to gratify their own worldly ambition or +cupidity, than the spiritual exigencies of their own flocks--let them +not draw their revenues from the pockets of a poor people who disclaim +their faith, whilst they denounce and revile that faith as a thing not +to be tolerated. Let them do this, sir--free Protestantism from the +golden shackles which make it the slave of Mammon, that it may be able +to work--do this, and depend upon it, that it will then flourish as it +ought; but, in my humble opinion, until such a reform first takes place +with ourselves, it is idle to expect that Roman Catholics will come +over to us, unless, indeed, a few from sordid and dishonest motives--and +these we were better without. I think, therefore, that the present +Reformation Society is unseasonable and ill-advised, nor do I hesitate +to predict that the event will prove it so. In conclusion, sir, I am +sorry to say, that I've seldom seen one of those very zealous clergymen +who would not rather convert one individual from Popery than ten from +sin." + +"Why, Clement, you are a liberal!" + +"I trust, sir, I am a Christian. As for liberalism, as it is generally +understood, no man scorns the cant of it more than I do. But I cannot +think that a Roman Catholic man sincerely worshipping God--even with, +many obvious errors in his forms, or, with what we consider absurdities +in his very creed--I cannot think, I say, that such a man, worshipping +the Almighty according to his knowledge, will be damned. To think so +is precisely the doctrine of exclusive salvation, with which we charge +Popery itself." + +Mr. Lucre's face, during the enunciation of these sentiments, +glowed like a furnace thrice heated--he turned up his eyes--groaned +aloud--struck the arm of his chair with his open hand--then commenced +fanning his breast, as if the act were necessary to cool that +evangelical indignation, in which there is said to be no sin. + +"Clement," said he, "this--this"--here he kept fanning down his choler +for half a minute--"this is--astonishing--awful--monstrous--monstrous +doctrine to come from the lips of a clergyman--man"--another +fanning--"of the Established Church; but what is still worse, +from--from--the lips of my curate! my curate! I'll trouble you to touch +the bell--thank you, sir. But, Mr. Clement, the circumstance of giving +utterance to such opinions, so abruptly, as if you were merely stating +some common-place fact--without evincing the slightest consideration for +me--without reflecting upon who and what I am--without remembering my +position--my influence--the purity and orthodoxy of my doctrine--the +services I have rendered to religion, and to a Protestant +government--(John, a glass of water; quickly)--you forget, sir, that I +have proved the Romish Church to be both damnable and idolatrous--that +she is without the means of salvation--that her light is out--her +candlestick removed--and that she is nothing now but darkness, and +abomination, and blasphemy. Yes, sir; knowing all this, you could openly +express such doctrines, without giving me a moment's notice, or anything +to, prepare me for such a shock!--sir, I am very much distressed +indeed; but I thank my God that this excitement--(bring it here, +John; quick:)--that this excitement is Christian excitement--Christian +excitement, Mr. Clement; for I am not, I trust, without thai zeal for +the interests of my church, of my King, and of Protestantism at large, +which becomes a man who has labored for them as I have done." + +Here, notwithstanding the excessive thirst which seemed to have fastened +on him, he put the glass to his lips; but, sooth to say, like the +widow's cruse, it seemed to have been gifted with the miraculous +property of going from his lips as full as when it came to them. + +"I assure you, Mr. Lucre," replied Clement, "in uttering my sentiments, +I most certainly had not the slightest intention of giving you offence. +I spoke calmly, and candidly, and truly, what I think and feel--and I +regret that I should have offended you so much; for I only expressed +the common charity of our religion, which hopeth all things--is slow to +condemn, and forbids us to judge, lest we be judged." + +"Clement," said Mr. Lucre, who, to speak truth, had ascribed his +excitement--what a base, servile, dishonest, hypocritical scoundrel of +a word is that excitement--ready to adopt any meaning, to conceal any +failing, to disguise any fact, to run any lying message whatsoever at +the beck and service of falsehood or hypocrisy. If a man is drunk, in +steps excitement--Lord, sir, he was only excited, a little excited;--if +a man is in a rage, like Mr. Lucre, he is only excited, moved by +Christian excitement--out upon it!--but, like every other slavish +instrument, we must use it--had ascribed his excitement, we say, to +causes that had nothing whatsoever to do in occasioning it--the _bona +fide_ one being the indirect rebuke, to him, and the class to which +he belonged, that was contained in Clement's observations upon the +Established Church and her ecclesiastics. "Clement," said he, "I must be +plain with you. For some time past I have really suspected the soundness +of your views--I had doubts of your orthodoxy; but out of consideration +for your large family, I did not press you for an explanation." + +"Then, sir," replied Clement, "allow me to say, that as an orthodox +clergyman, jealous of the purity of our creed, and anxious for the +spiritual welfare of your flock, it was your duty to have done so. As +for me, I shall be at all times both ready and willing to render +an account of the faith that is in me. I neither fear nor deprecate +investigation, sir, I assure you." + +"I certainly knew not, however, that you were so far gone in +latitudinarianism, as I find, unfortunately, to be the case. I hold a +responsible--a sacred situation, as a Protestant minister, Mr. Clement, +and consequently cannot suffer such doctrine to spread through my flock. +Besides, had you taken an active part in promoting this Reformation, +as, with your learning and talents I know you could have done--I make no +allusion now to your unhappy principles--had you done so it was my fixed +intention to have increased your salary ten pounds per annum, out of my +own pocket, notwithstanding the great claims that are upon me." + +"My legal salary, I believe, Mr. Lucre, is seventy-five pounds per +annum, and the value of your benefice is one thousand four hundred. I +may say the whole duty is performed by me. Out of that one thousand four +hundred, I receive sixty; but I shall add nothing more--for indeed I +have yet several visits to make before I go home. As to my orthodoxy, +sir, you will take your own course. To my bishop I am ready to explain +my opinions; they are in accordance with the Word of God; and if for +entertaining them I am deprived of the slender support for which I +labor, as your curate, my trust in God will not be the less." + +Mr. Lucre declined any reply, but bowed very politely, and rang +the bell, to order his carriage, as a hint to Mr. Clement that the +conversation was closed. The latter bowed, bade him good morning, and +departed. + +When Mr. Clement said he had some visits to make, we must, lest the +reader might suppose they are visits of ceremony, follow his steps in +order to learn the nature of these visits. + +About half a mile from the Glebe house of Castle Cumber, the meek and +unassuming curate entered into an abode of misery and sorrow, which +would require a far more touching pen than ours to describe. A poor +widow sat upon the edge of a little truckle bed with the head of one of +her children on her lap; another lay in the same bed silent and feeble, +and looking evidently ill. Mr. Clement remembered to have seen the boy +whom she supported, not long before playing about the cottage, his rosy +cheeks heightened into a glow of health and beauty by the exercise, and +his fair, thick-clustered hair blown about by the breeze. The child was +dying, and the tender power of a mother's love prompted her to keep him +as near her breaking heart as she could, during the short space that +remained of his brief existence. When Mr. Clement entered, the lonely +mother looked upon him with an aspect of such bitter sorrow, of such +helpless supplication in her misery, as if she said, am I left to the +affliction of my own heart! Am I cut off from the piety and comfort, +which distress like mine ought to derive from Christian sympathy and +fellowship! Have I not even a human face to look upon, but those of my +dying children! Such in similar circumstances are the questions which +the heart will ask. She could not immediately speak, but with the head +of her dying boy upon her heart she sat in mute and unbroken agony, +every pang of her departing orphan throwing a deeper shade of affliction +over her countenance, and a keener barb of sorrow into her heart. + +The champion of God, however, was at his post. He advanced to the +bed-side, and in tones which proclaimed the fulness of his sympathy in +her sufferings, and with a countenance lit up by that trust in heaven +which long trials of his own and similar bereavements had given him, he +addressed her in words of comfort and consolation, and raised her heart +to better hopes than any which this world of care and trial can bestow. +It is difficult, however, to give comfort in such moments, nor is it +prudent to enforce it too strongly. The widow looked upon her boy's +face, which was sweetly marked with the graces of innocence, even in +the throes of death. The light of life was nearly withdrawn from his dim +blue eye; but he felt from time to time for the mother's, hands, and +the mother's bosom. He was striving, too, to utter his little complaint; +attempting probably to describe his sufferings, and to beg relief from +his unhappy parent; but the dissolving power of death was on all his +faculties; his words lapsed into each, other indistinctly, and were +consequently unintelligible. Mrs. Vincent, for such was the widow's +name, heard the words addressed to her by Mr. Clement; she raised her +eyes, to heaven for a moment, and then turned them, heavy with misery, +upon her dying boy. Her heart--her hopes:--almost her whole being +were peculiarly centered in the object before her; and though she had +imagined that sympathy might support her, she now felt that no human +power could give her consolation. The tears were falling fast from Mr. +Clement's cheeks, who felt, that until the agonies of the boy were +over, it would be vain to offer her any kind of support. At length she +exclaimed-- + +"Oh! Saviour, who suffered the agony of the cross, and who loved little +children like him, let your mercy descend upon my beloved! Suffer him to +come to you soon. Oh! Saviour--hear a mother's prayer, for I loved him +above all, and he was our life! Core of my heart, you are striving to +tell your mother what you suffer, but the weight of death is upon your +tongue, and you cannot do it! I am here, my beloved sufferer--I am +here--you struggle to find my hands to tell me--to tell me--but I cannot +help you." + +"Mrs. Vincent," said the curate, "we have reason to believe that what +appears to us to be the agony of death, is not felt so severely as we +imagine; strive to moderate your grief--and reflect that he will soon +be in peace, and joy, and happiness, that will never end. His little +sorrows and sufferings will soon be over, and the bosom of a merciful +God will receive him into life and glory." + +"But, sir," replied the widow, the tears fast streaming down her cheeks, +"do you not see what he suffers? Look at the moisture that is on his +little brow, and see how he writhes with the pain. He thinks that I can +stop it, and it is for that he presses my hand. During his whole illness +that was still his cry--'oh, mother, take away this pain, why don't you +take away the pain!'" + +Mr. Clement was a father, and an affectionate one, and this allusion +to the innocence of the little sufferer touched his heart, and he was +silent. + +The widow proceeded: "there he lies, my only--only son--his departed +father's image, and I looked up to him to be one day my support, my +pride, and my happiness--but see what he is now! Oh! James, James, +wouldn't I lay down my life to save yours!" + +"You look at the dark side of the picture, Mrs. Vincent," said the +curate. "Think upon what he may escape by his early and his happy death. +You know not, but that there was crime, and sin, and affliction before +him. Consider how many parents there are now in the world, who would +feel happy that their children, who bring shame, and distress, and +misery upon them, had been taken to God in their childhood. And, surely, +there is still a God to provide for your self and your other little +ones; for remember, you have still those who have tender claims upon +your heart." + +"I know you are right, sir," she replied "but in cases like this, nature +must have its way. Death, death, but you're cruel! Oh--blessed Father, +what is this!" + +One last convulsive spasm, one low agonizing groan, accompanied by a +relaxation of the little fingers which had pressed her hands, closed the +sufferings of the widow's pride. She stooped wildly over him and pressed +him to her heart, as if by doing so she could draw his pains into her +own frame, as they Were already in her spirit; but his murmurings were +silent, and on looking closely into his countenance, she perceived that +his Redeemer had, indeed, suffered her little one to go unto him; that +all his little pains and agonies were over forever. + +"His sufferings are past," she exclaimed, "James, your sufferings are +over!" As she uttered the words, the curate was astonished by hearing +her burst out into one or two wild hysteric laughs, which happily ended +in tears. + +"No more," she continued, "you'll feel no more pain now, my precious +boy; your voice will never sound in my ears again; you'll never call +on me to say 'mother, take away my pain;' the Sunday mornin' will never +come when I will take pride in dressing you. My morning and evening kiss +will never more be given--all my heart was fixed on is gone, and I care +not now what becomes of me." + +What could the good curate do? He strove to soothe, sustain, and comfort +her, but in vain; the poor widow heard him not. + +"Jenny," said she, at length, turning to, the other sick child, "your +brother is at rest! James is at rest; he will disturb your sleep now no +more--nor will you disturb his." + +"Oh! but he couldn't help it, mammy; it was the pain that made him." + +As the child uttered these words, the widow put her hand to her heart, +gave two or three rapid sobs--her bosom heaved, and her head fell back +over a chair that was accidentally beside her. Mr. Clement caught her +in time to prevent her from falling; he placed her upright on the chair, +which he carried to, the little dresser, where he found a jug of water, +the only drink she had to give her sick children. With this he bathed +her temples and wet her lips, after which he looked upon the scene of +death and affliction by which he was surrounded. + +"Gracious Father," he exclaimed, "let, your mercy reach this most +pitiable family! Look with eyes of pity and compassion upon this +afflicted and bereaved woman! Oh, support her--she is poor and nearly +heart-broken, and the world has abandoned her! Oh, do not abandon her, +Father of all mercy, and God of all consolation!" + +As he concluded, the widow recovered, and felt his tears falling upon +her face. On looking she perceived how deeply he was affected. Her lips +opened unconsciously with a blessing on him who shared in, and soothed +her sorrows--her voice was feeble, for she had not yet recovered her +strength; but the low murmur of her prayers and blessings rose like the +sounds of sweet but melancholy music to heaven, and was heard there. + +Mr. Clement then went over to the bed, and with his own hands smoothed +it down for the little sick sister of the departed boy, adjusting the +bed-clothes about her as well as he could, for the other children were +too., young to do anything. He then divided the hair upon the +lifeless child's forehead--contemplated his beautiful features for a +moment--caught his little hand in his--let it fall--oh! how lifelessly! +he then shook his head, raised his eyes, and pointing to heaven, +exclaimed-- + +"There--Mrs. Vincent, let your hopes lie there." + +He then departed, with a promise of seeing her soon. + + + + +CHAPTER XII.--Interview between Darby and Mr. Lucre + +--Darby feels Scriptural, and was as Scripturally treated--Mr. Lucre's +Christian Disposition towards Father M'Cabe--A few Brands offer +Themselves to be Plucked from the Burning--Their Qualification, for +Conversion, as stated by Themselves. + + +Mr. Lucre, like almost every Protestant rector of the day, was a +magistrate, a circumstance which prevented Mr. Clement from feeling +any surprise at seeing a considerable number of persons, of both sexes, +approaching the glebe. He imagined, naturally enough, that they were +going upon law business, as it is termed--for he knew that Mr. Lucre, +during his angel visits to Castle Cumber, took much more delight in +administering the law than the gospel, unless, when ready made, in the +shape of Bibles. When Darby, also, arrived, he found a considerable +number of these persons standing among a little clump of trees in the +lawn, apparently waiting for some person to break the ice, and go in +first--a feat which each felt anxious to decline himself, whilst he +pressed it very strongly upon his neighbor. No sooner had Darby made +his appearance than a communication took place between him and them, +in which it was settled that he was to have the first interview, and +afterwards direct the conduct and motions of the rest. There was, +indeed, a dry, knowing look about him, which seemed to imply, in fact, +that they were not there without some suggestion from himself. + +Darby was very well known to Mr. Lucre, for whom he had frequently acted +in the capacity of a bailiff; he accordingly entered with something like +an appearance of business, but so admirably balanced was his conduct on +this occasion, between his usual sneaking and servile manner, and +his privileges as a Christian, that it would be difficult to witness +anything so inimitably well managed as his deportment. One circumstance +was certainly strongly in his favor; Father M'Cabe had taken care to +imprint with his whip a _prima facie_ testimony of sincerity upon +his countenance, which was black, and swollen into large welts by the +exposition of doctrinal truth which he had received at that gentleman's +hands. Lucre, on seeing him, very naturally imagined he was coming +to lodge informations for some outrage committed on him either in the +discharge of his duty as bailiff, or, for having become a convert, a +fact with which he had become acquainted from the True Blue. + +"Well, O'Drive," said he, "what is the matter now? you are sadly +abused--how came this to pass?" + +Darby first looked upwards, very like a man who was conscientiously +soliciting some especial grace or gift from above; his lips moved as if +in prayer, but he was otherwise motionless--at length he ceased--drew +a lone breath, and assumed the serenity of one whose prayer had +been granted. The only word he uttered that could possibly be at all +understood, was amen; which he pronounced lowly, but still distinctly, +and in as unpopish a manner as he could. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," he replied, "but now my heart's aisier--I hope +I have overcome that feeling that was an me--I can now forgive him for +the sake of the spread o' the gospel, and I do." + +"What has happened your face?--you are sadly abused!" + +"A small taste o' parsecution, sir, which the Lord put into Father +M'Cabe's horsewhip--heart I mane--to give me, bekaise I renounced his +hathenism, and came into the light o' thruth--may He be praised for it!" +Here followed an upturning of the eyes after the manner of M'Slime. + +"Do you mean to tell me, O'Drive, that this outrage has been committed +on you by that savage priest, M'Cabe?" + +"It was he left me as you see, sir--but it's good to suffer in this +world, especially for the thruth. Indeed I am proud of this face," he +continued, blinking with a visage so comically disastrous at Mr. Lucre, +that had that gentleman had the slightest possible perception of the +ludicrous in his composition, not all the gifts and graces that ever +were poured down upon the whole staff of the Reformation Society +together, would have prevented him from laughing outright. "Of course +you are come," pursued Lucre, "to swear information against this man?" + +"I have prayed for it," said Darby in a soliloquy, "and I feel that it +has been granted. Swear information, sir?--I'll strive and do betther +than that, I hope; I must now take my stand by the Bible, sir; that will +be the color I'll hoist while I live. In that blessed book I read these +words this mornin', 'love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do +good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you +and parsecute you.' Sir, when I read these words, I felt them slidin' +into my heart, and I couldn't help repeatin' them to myself, ever +since--and, even when Father M'Cabe was playin' his whip about my ears, +I was as hard at work prayin' for his sowl." + +This, we have no doubt, was perfectly true, only we fear that our +blessed convert forgot to state the precise nature and object of the +prayer in question, and to mention whether it was to the upper or lower +settlement he consigned the soul alluded to. This Christian spirit of +Darby's, however, was by no means in keeping with that of Mr. Lucre, who +never was of opinion, in his most charitable of moods, that the gospel +should altogether supersede the law. On this occasion, especially, he +felt an acuteness of anxiety to got the priest within his power, which +the spirit of no gospel that ever was written could repress. M'Cabe and +he had never met, or, at least, never spoke; but the priest had, since +the commencement of the new movement, sent him a number of the most +ludicrous messages, and transmitted to him, for selection, a large +assortment of the most comical and degrading epithets. Here, then, +was an opportunity of gratifying his resentment in a Christian and +constitutional spirit, and with no obstacle in his way but Darby's +inveterate piety. This, however, for the sake of truth, he hoped to +remove, or so modify, that it would not prevent him from punishing that +very disloyal and idolatrous delinquent. + +"Those feelings, O'Drive, are all very good and creditable to you, and +I am delighted indeed that you entertain them--but, in the meantime, you +owe a duty to society greater than that which you owe to yourself. +This man, this priest--a huge, ferocious person I understand he is--has +latterly been going about the parish foaming and raging, and seeking +whom he can horsewhip." + +"That's thruth, sir, poor dark hathen--an', sir--jist beggin' your +pardon for one minute, half a minute, sir--you know we're desired when +an inimy strikes us upon one cheek to turn the other to him; well, as I +said, sir, I found myself very Scriptural this whole day, so when he hit +me the first welt on this cheek, I turns round the other, an' now look +at the state it's in, sir--but that's not all, sir, he tuck the hint at +once, and gave it to me on both sides, till he left me as you see me. +Still, sir, I can forgive him, and I have done it." + +"That, as I said, reflects great credit on your principles--but, in the +meantime, you can still retain these principles and prosecute him. +Your lodging informations against him does not interfere with your own +personal forgiveness of him at all--because it is in behalf of, and for +the safety of society that you come forward to prosecute now." + +Darby, who in point of fact had his course already taken, shook his head +and replied, falling back upon the form of M'Slime's language as much as +he could-- + +"I feel, sir," he replied, "that I'm not permitted." + +"Permitted!" repeated the other. "What do you menu?" + +"I'm not permitted from above, sir, to prosecute this man. I'm not +justified in it." + +"Quite ridiculous, O'Drive, where did you pick up this jargon of the +conventicle--but that reminds me, by the by--you are not a convert +to the Established Church. You belong to the Dissenters, and owe your +change of opinions to Mr. M'Slime." + +"If I don't belong to the Established Church now, sir," replied Darby, +"I won't be long so." + +"Why," inquired the other, "are you not satisfied with the denomination +of Christians you have joined?" + +"M'Slime, sir, converted me--as you say--but I've great objections--and +between you and me, I, fear it's not altogether safe for any man to take +his religion from an attorney." + +A smile, as much as he could condescend to, passed over the haughty, but +dignified features of Mr. Lucre. + +"O'Drive," said he, "I did not think you possessed so much simplicity +of character as I perceive you do--but touching the prosecution of this +man--you must lodge information, forthwith. You shall bring the warrant +to Mr. M'Clutchy who will back it, and put it into the hands of those +who will lose little time in having it executed." + +"I am sorry, sir, that my conscience doesn't justify me in doin' what +you wish." + +"What do you mean by conscience, sir?" asked the other, getting warm, +"if you have a conscience you will have no scruple in punishing a man +who is an open enemy to truth, to the gospel, and to the spread of it +through a benighted land. How can you reconcile it to your conscience to +let such a man escape." + +"Simply by forgiving him, sir--by lettin' the great, big, ignorant +hathen, have the full benefit of a gospel forgiveness. That's what I +mean, sir, and surely it stands to sense that I couldn't prosecute him +wid these feelin's, barrin' I'd go against the Word." + +"O'Drive," said Lucre, evidently mortified at Darby's obstinacy, "one of +two things is true; either you are utterly ignorant, perhaps, with every +disposition to know them, of the sanctions and obligations of religion, +or you are still a Papist at heart, and an impostor. I tell you, sir, +once more, that it is upon religious grounds that you ought to prosecute +this wild priest; because in doing so, you render a most important +service to religion and morality, both of which are outraged in his +person. You ought to know this. Again, sir, if you are a Protestant, and +have thoroughly cast Popery from your heart, you must necessarily be a +loyal man and a good subject; but if you refuse to prosecute him, you +can be neither the one nor the other, but a Papist and an impostor, +and I've done with you. If Mr. M'Clutchy knew, sir, that you refused +to prosecute a priest for such a violent outrage upon your person, I +imagine you would not long hold the situation of bailiff under him." + +Darby looked into the floor like a philosopher solving a problem. +"I see, sir," said he, "I see--well--you have made that clear enough +sartinly; but you know, sir, how could you expect such deep raisoning +upon these subjects from a man like me. I see the duty of it now +clearly; but, when, sir, on the other hand if I prosecute him, what's to +become of me? Will you, sir, bear my funeral expenses?" + +"Every penny, O'Drive," replied the other, eagerly. "Tut," he exclaimed, +checking himself, "I--I--I thought you meant the expenses of the +prosecution." + +"It's much the same, sir," replied Darby, "the one will be sure to +follow the other. You know the state the country's in now, sir, and +how the people on both sides are ready to skiver one another about this +religion, and rents and tithes, and dear knows what besides. As it +is, sir," he proceeded, "you see that I dursn't walk the road without +these," and he produced the pistols as he spoke, "but what chance, sir, +would I have if I prosecuted a priest? Why, my life wouldn't be worth +two hours' purchase." + +Mr. Lucre himself could not help feeling and admitting the truth of +this, but as he could devise no plan to obviate the dangers alluded to, +he still scrupled not to urge the prosecution. + +"Sir," said Darby starting, as if a gleam of light had shot across his +brain, "a thought has just struck me, and I hope it was something from +above that sent it. If there was any kind of situation, sir, that +I could fill, and that would keep me in a place of safety where the +hathens couldn't get at me, everything would be right; and be the same +token, sir, now that I think of it, isn't the under gaoler-ship of +Castle Cumber vacant this minute." + +Lucre who, in fact, had set his heart on prosecuting and punishing the +priest, would have gladly made Darby governor of the best gaol in his +majesty's dominions, rather than lose this opportunity of effecting his +purpose. + +"Rest contented, O'Drive," he replied, "you shall have it--I pledge +myself that you shall have it. My influence is sufficient for much more +than so paltry a trifle as that. And now for the informations." + +"Ah, sir," replied the other, "that wouldn't mend the matter a bit. Let +it go once abroad that I swore them, and I'd never see to-morrow night. +No, sir, if you wish him properly prosecuted,--and I think I ought to +know how to do it, too;--but if you wish him properly punished, place +me first out of harm's way--out o' the reach o' the hathens; put me into +the situation before we take a single step in the business, then I'll be +safe and can work in it to some purpose." + +"It shall be done," said Lucre, "and I will go about it presently, but +in the mean time the matter rests as it is. If what you say is true, and +I believe it is, your own safety depends upon your silence." + +"Not a breath," replied Darby; "and now, sir, about what brought me +here--I wanted to say that I'd wish '_to read_' upon Sunday next." + +"What do you mean?" asked Lucre. + +"Why, sir, as I said, I don't like to take my religion from an +attorney--and I'm afeard, besides, that he's not altogether orthybox, +in regard that he hinted once that God was ------; but, indeed I +disremember his words, for it wasn't aisy to hould them when you got +them." + +"He, of course, is a Fatalist and Predestinarian," said Lucre; "but +what is this you were about to say?" + +"Why, sir, that I'd wish publicly to read my recompensation in your +church on Sunday next." + +"And why in my church?" asked the proud parson, who felt his vanity +touched, not by anything Darby had yet said, but by the indescribable +expression of flattery which appeared in his face. + +"Why, sir," he replied, "bekase it's given out on all hands that there's +no end to your larnin'--that it's wondherful the books you wrote--and +as for your preachin', that it 'ud make one think themselves in heaven, +hell, or purgatory, accordin as you wished." + +"Very well, O'Drive, very well indeed," exclaimed Lucre, caught on +his weakest side by this artful compliment; "but you must forget +purgatory--however I can conceive that it was the mere force of +habit that prompted you to utter it. Well, then, you shall read your +recantation on Sunday, since you wish it--there will be about a dozen or +two others, and you had better attend early. Good-day, O'Drive!" + +"Plaise your honor," said Darby, who never could be honest to both +parties, "there's a batch o' convarts outside waitin' to see you, but +between you and me, I think you had as well be on your guard wid some o' +them, I know what they want." + +"And pray, what is that, O'Drive?" + +"Why, thin, for fraid I may be doin' the crathurs injustice, sir, I +won't say; only jist take my hint, any how. Good mornin' kindly, sir!" + +As Darby passed the group we have alluded to, he winked at them very +knowingly, "go up," said he, "go up I say:--may be I didn't give yez +a lift since, and mark me, huld to the five guineas a head, and to be +provided for aftherwards. Paddy Cummins do you go up, I say--bannath +lath!" + +Paddy went up, and in a few minutes a ragged, famine-wasted creature +entered with his old caubeen between his hands, and after having ducked +down his head, and shrugged his shoulders alternately, stood with an +abashed look before Mr. Lucre. + +"Well, my good man, what is your business with me?" + +To this the countryman prepared to reply,--first, by two or three +additional shrugs; secondly, by raising his right elbow, and pulling +up all that remained of the collar of his tattered cothamore, or great +coat, after which he gave a hem. + +"Have you no tongue, my good fellow?" + +A shrug--"hem--why, sir, but that was a great sarmon you praiched +on last Sunda', plaise you honor. Faitha, sir, there was mighty fine +discoorsin' in it about rail-ligion?" + +"O! the sermon--did you hear it, my good man?" + +"Faitha, sir, I was there sure enough, in spite o' Father M'Cabe, an' +all." + +"Sit down, my good friend, sit down--well, you attended the sermon, you +say--pray how did you like it?" + +"Faitha, sir, sure nobody could dislike it bedad, sir, we're all greatly +disappointed wid the priests afther hearin' it--it was wondherful to +hear, the deep larnin' you brought forrid, sir, against them, an' our +church in gineral. Begad myself was mightily improved by it." + +"Don't swear, though--well you were improved by it, you say--pray what +is your name?" + +"I'm one Paddy Cummins, sir, a shister's son of--" + +"Well, Cummins, I'm very happy to hear that you were edified, and +happier still that you had sense to perceive the side upon which truth +lay." + +"Faitha, thin, your reverence, I seen that widout much throuble; but, +sure they say, sir, there's to be a power of us turnin' over to yez." + +"I hope so, Cummins--we are anxious that you should see the errors of +the creed you so ignorantly profess, and abandon them." + +"Sure enough, sir--dad, sir, your ministhers is fine men, so you +are--then you're so rich, sir, plaise your honor--they do be sayin', +sir, that the reverend gintlemen of your church have got a great deal of +money among them somehow, in regard that it 'ud be needful to help poor +crathurs that 'ud turn, and keep them from the parsecution, sir." + +"Cummins, my good friend, allow me to set you right. We never give +a penny of money to any one for the sake of bringing him over to our +church; if converts come to us it must be from conviction, not from +interest." + +"I see, sir--but sure I'm not wantin' the promise at all, your +honor--sure I know you must keep yourselves clear anyway--only the five +guineas a head that I'm tould is to be given." + +"Five guineas a head!--pray who told you so?" + +"Faitha, sir, I couldn't exactly say, but every one says it. It's said +we're to get five guineas a head, sir, and be provided for afther; I +have nine o' them, sir, eight crathurs and Biddy herself--she can't +spake English, but, wid the help o' God, I could consthre it for her. +Faith, she'd make a choice Prodestan, sir, for wanst she takes a thing +into her head the devil wouldn't get it out. As for me, I don't want a +promise at all, your reverence, barrin' that if it 'ud be plaisin' to +you, jist to lay your forefinger along your nose--merely to show that +we undherstand one another--it 'ud be as good to me as the bank. The +crathur on the breast, your reverence, we'd throw in as a luck penny, or +dhuragh, and little Paddy we give at half price." + +"Did you hear all this?" + +"Faitha, then, we did, sir--and sure, as you don't like to have the +thing known, I can keep my tongue atween my teeth as well as e'er a +convart livin'--an' as for Biddy, by only keepin' her from the dhrink, +she's as close as the gate of heaven to a heretic. Bedad, sir, this new +light bates everything." + +"My good friend, Cummins, I tell you I have no money to give,--neither +is there anything to be given,--for the sake of conversion--but, if +your notions of your own religion are unsettled, put yourself under Lord +------'s chaplain; and, if, in the due course of time, he thinks you +sufficiently improved to embrace our faith, you and your family may be +aided by some comforts suitable to your condition." + +Cummins' face lengthened visibly at 'an intimation which threw him so +far from his expectations; the truth being, that he calculated upon +receiving the money the moment he read his recantation. He looked at +Mr. Lucre again as significantly as he could--gave his head a scratch of +remonstrance--shrugged himself as before--rubbed his elbow--turned round +his hat slowly, examined its shape, and gave it a smarter set, after +which he gave a dry hem and prepared to speak. + +"I'll hear nothing further on the subject," said the other, "withdraw." + +Without more ado Cummins slunk out of the room, highly disappointed, but +still not without hopes from Lord ------, to whom, or his chaplain, he +resolved to apply. In the meantime he made the best of his way home to +his starving wife and children, without having communicated the result +of his visit to those who were assembled at the glebe house. + +He had scarcely left the hall door when another claimant for admission +presented himself in the person of a huge, tattered fellow, with red, +stiff hair standing up like reeds through the broken crown of his hat, +which he took off on entering. This candidate for Protestantism had +neither shoe nor stocking on him, but stalked in, leaving the prints of +his colossal feet upon the hall through which he passed. + +"Well, friend, what is wrong with you?--why did'nt you rub your filthy +feet, sir, before you entered the room? You have soiled all my carpet." + +"I beg your honor's parding," said the huge fellow; "I'll soon cure +that." Having said which he trotted up to the hearth-rug, in which, +before Lucre had time even to speak, by a wipe from each foot, he left +two immense streaks of mud, which we guess took some hard scrubbing to +remove. "Now, your honor, I hope I'll do." + +Lucre saw it was useless to remonstrate with him, and said, with more +temper than could be expected-- + +"Man, what's your business?" + +"I come, sirra,"--this man had a habit of pronouncing sir as sirra, +which he could never overcome--"to tell your reverence to enther me down +at wanst." + +"For what purpose should I enter you down?" + +"For the money, sirra; I have seven o' them, and we'll all go. You +may christen us if you wish, sirra. 'Deed I'm tould we must all be +christened over agin, an' in that case, maybe it 'ud be plaisin' to you +to stand godfather for me, yourself, your reverence." + +"What do you mean?--but I suppose I understand you." + +"I mean, sirra, to become a Protestan--I an' my family, I'm Nickey +Feasthalagh, that was in on suspicion o' the burnin' of Nugent's hay; +and by them five crasses I was as innocent of that as the child onborn, +so I was. Sure they couldn't prove an me, becoorse I came out wid flying +colors, glory be to God! Here I am now, sir, an' a right good Prodestan +I'll make when I come to understand it. An' let me whisper this, sirra, +I'll be dam useful in fairs and markets to help the Orangemen to lick +ourselves, your honor, in a skrimmage or party fight, or anything o' +that kidney." + +"I am sorry, Nick Fistula, as you say your name is--" + +"Mickey, sirra." + +"Well, Nickey, or Nick, or whatever it may be, I am sorry to say that +you won't do. You are too great an ornament to your own creed ever to +shine in ours. I happen to know your character--begone." + +"Is Misthre Lucre widin?" asked a third candidate, whose wife +accompanied him--"if he is, maybe you'd tell him that one Barney Grattan +wishes to have a thrifle o' speech wid his honor." + +"Come in," said the servant with a smile, after having acquainted his +master. + +The man and his wife accordingly entered, having first wiped their feet +as they had been ordered. + +"Well, my good man, what's your business." + +"Rosha, will you let his honor know what we wor spakin' about? She'll +tell you, sir." + +"Plaise your honor," said she, "we're convarts." + +"Well," said Mr. Lucre, "that is at least coming to the point. And pray, +my good woman, who converted you?" + +"Faix, the accounts that's abroad, sir, about the gintleman from Dublin, +that's so full of larnin', your reverance, and so rich, they say." + +"Then it was the mere accounts that wrought this change in you?" + +"_Dhamnu orth a Rosha, go dhe shin dher thu?_" said the husband in +Irish; for he felt that the wife was more explicit than was necessary. +"Never heed her, sir; the crathur, your reverence, is so through other, +that she doesn't know what she's sayin', especially spakin' to so +honorable a gentleman as your reverence." + +"Then let us hear your version, or rather your conversion." + +"Myself, sir, does be thinkin' a great deal about these docthrines and +jinnyologies that people is now all runnin' upon. I can tell a story, +sir, at a wake, or an my kailee wid a, neighbor, as well as e'er a man +in the five parishes. The people say I'm very long headed all out, and +can see far into a thing. They do, indeed, plaise your reverence." + +"Very good." + +"Did you ever hear about one Fin M'Cool who was a great buffer in his +day, and how his wife put the trick upon a big bosthoon of a giant that +came down from Munster to bother Fin? Did you ever hear that, sir?" + +"No; neither do I wish to hear it just now." + +"Nor the song of Beal Derg O'Donnel, sir, nor the 'Fairy River,' +nor 'the Life and Adventures of Larry Dorneen's Ass,' plaise your +reverence." + +"No--but I wish you would allow your wife to relate your business here." + +"Well, sir, the people say I'm very longheaded, and can see far into a +thing--" + +"But, my good man, I care not what the people say--tell your story +briefly." + +"--An' can see far into a thing, your reverence, becaise I'm +long-headed. All longheaded people, sir, is cute, an' do you know why +they're cute, sir? No, you don't, but I'll tell you--bekaise they're +long-headed. Now, sir, what 'ud you think to turn Roman Catholic awhile +till I'd malivogue you in arguin' Scripture?--I want to prove to you, +sir, that I'm the boy that understands things." + +"What's your business with me?" + +"Will you thry it, sir, and you'll see how I'll sober you to your +heart's delight." + +"What brought your husband to me, my good woman?" + +"_Bhe dha husth; fag a rogarah lumsa_." + +"He's comin' to it, plaise your reverence," said the wife. + +"Well, sir, so you see, bein' given to deep ways of thinkin' o' my own, +I had many bouts at arguin' Scripthur--as every longheaded man has, of +coorse--an' yestherday meetin' wid Brian Broghan, the mealman--him that +keeps it up on the poor, sir--he challenged me, but, in three skips of +a Scotch Gray, I sacked him cleaner than one of his own meal bags, and +dusted him afterwards:--'so,' says he, misther Grattan, see what it is +to be long-headed." + +"It's worse," observed Lucre, "to be long-winded. Come to an end, sir." + +"'Long-headed,' says he, 'an', of coorse you'll be takin' the money,' +says Brougham; 'what money?' says I. 'Why, the five guineas,' says he, +'that the Biblemen is givin' to every one that will turn wid them, he +happens to be long-headed--but otherwise, not a penny.' So, sir, myself, +you see, havin' the intention to come over long afore for fraid yez +might think it was for the money I am doin' it. But is there such a +thing, sir?" + +"Not a penny, and so you may tell your friends." + +"Well, but, sir, grantin' that, still you'll acknowledge that I'm +long-headed." + +"No, only long-winded." + +"Not long-headed, then?" + +"No, certainly not." + +"_Damnu orth a veehone bradagh!_ come Rosha. Not long-headed! troth it's +a poor religion to depind on--an' I'll make a show of it yet, if I'm +spared. Come, woman alive." + +Honest Barney was the last but one who was honored by a hearing, though +not the last by a score of those who expected it, and, sooth to say, the +appearance of that one threw the whole proceedings into such exquisite +ridicule, that we cannot resist the temptation of giving his claims and +arguments a place among the rest. The convert in question was no other +than our old friend _Raymond-na-hattha_, or Raymond of the hats; who, +moved by the example of others, and only possessed of a dim notion of +the cause that brought them together, came among them from that vague +motive of action which prompts almost every creature like him to make +one in a crowd, wherever it may assemble. The mind of poor Raymond +was of a very anomalous character indeed; for his memory, which was +wonderful, accumulated in one heterogeneous mass, all the incidents +in which he had ever taken any part, and these were called out of the +confusion, precisely as some chord of association happened to be struck +in any conversation which he held. For this reason he sometimes uttered +sentiments that would have come with more propriety from the lips of a +philosopher than a fool, and again fell to the level of pure idiotism, +so singular were his alternations from sense to nonsense. Lucre's +porter, himself a wag, knew perfectly well what was going forward, and, +indeed, took very considerable delight in the movement. When Raymond +presented himself, the porter, to whom he was very well known, +determined, for the joke's sake, that he should have the honor of an +interview as well as the rest. Lucre, as we said, being but seldom at +Castle Cumber, was ignorant of Raymond's person and character, and, +indeed, we may add, that he stood in a position precisely similar with +respect to almost every one of his own flock. When Raymond entered, +then, he was addressed in much the same terms as the others. + +"Well, friend, what is your business?-- + +"John, admit no more, and let the carriage come round--are you a convert +also?" + +"Yes, I am; what have you to give me?" + +"A pure and peaceful religion, my friend." + +"Where is it?" + +"In this book--this is the Word of God, that preacheth peace and +salvation to all." + +"Has Val M'Clutchy this book?" + +"Of course he has--it is not to be supposed that so able and staunch a +friend of Protestantism, of the religion of the state, could be without +this book, or ignorant of it." + +Raymond put it tip to his nose, and after seeming to smell it, said, +with a strong shudder, "how did you do this among you? How did you do +it?--look at it--see, see, it's dripping wid blood--here's murder +on this page, there's starvation on that--there's the blood-hounds +huntin'--look, sir, look at the poor creature almost worn down, makin' +his way to hide, but he can't; they have him, they have him--see how +they drag him, as if he was, a--ay, drag, drag, he's yours now, he's +yours--whip and scourge, whip and scourge--more blood, more blood--and +this is it, this--don't you see it, sir, comin' down in drops when I +hould it up that way!" + +"My good friend, you are certainly in liquor--your language is that of a +man strongly affected by drink." + +"And this is it," Raymond proceeded; "look at this page, that's not the +one the blood is on; no, no, there's nothing here but madness. Ah!" said +he, lowering his voice to a tone of deep compassion, "sure she's mad; +they killed Hugh O'Began, and they killed the two sons, and then she +went mad.--So, you see, there it is now--on that page there's blood, +and, on this one,--with the big letter on it, there's madness. Then agin +comes the Turnin' out. How would you like to walk three long, dreary +miles, in sleet, and frost, and snow, havin' no house to go to--wid +thin breeches to your bottom, an' maybe a hole in them--widout shoe or +stockin' on your hooves--wid a couple of shiverin', half starved, sick +childre, tied by an ould praskeen to your back, an' you sinkin' wid +hunger all the time?--ay, and the tail o' your old coat blown up behind +every minute, like a sparrow before the wind!--Eh, how would you like +it?" + +Lucre still stuck to the hypothesis of liquor, and accordingly went and +rang the porter's bell, who immediately appeared. + +"John," said his master, "I desire you will immediately show this man +out--he is so scandalously affected with liquor, that he knows not the +purport of his own language." + +John approached his master with a face of awful tenor:--"for God's sake, +sir," said he, "don't say a word that might cross him, sure he's the +great madman, _Raymond-na-hattha_. Just sit still, and let him take +his own way, and he'll do no harm in life; appear to listen to him, and +he'll be like a child--but, if you go to harshness, he'd tear you, and +me, and all that's in the house, into minced meat." + +Once more did Lucre's countenance lose its accustomed hue; but, on this +occasion, it assumed the color of a duck egg, or something between a bad +white and a bad blue; "my good friend," said he, "will you please to take +a seat--John, stay in the room." This he said in a whisper. + +"There," proceeded Raymond, who had been busily engaged in examining the +pages of the Bible, "there is the page where that's on--the puttin' out +in the clouds and storm of heaven--there it is on that page. Look at the +ould man and the ould woman there--see them tremblin'. Don't cry--don't +cry; but they are--see the widow there wid her orphans--there's a +sick boy in that house, and a poor sick girl in that other house--see, +they're all cryin'--all cryin'--for they must go out, and on sich a day! +All that, now, is upon these two other pages, bekaise, you see, no one +page would hould all that. But see here--here's a page wid only one +side of it covered--let vis see what's on it. Oh, ay--here's the poor +craythur's childre, wid the poor father and the poor mother; but they +have the one cow to give milk to moisten their bit. Ha--ha--look again, +there she goes off to the pound! Don't cry, poor helpless crathers; but +how can you help cryin' when your poor mother's cryin'. That's a bitther +thing, too, and it's on this page--see--that--that--that's it I've +between my fingers--look at it--'how wet it is wid the poor craythur's +tears; but there's no blood here--no, no--nothing but tears. Oh, +here--see here--a page as big as the rest, bat wid nothing on it. Ay, +I know that--that's an empty farm that nobody dare take, or woe be to +them. But here--I seen him "--here he shuddered strongly--"I seen him! +His father and mother were both standing undher him--that was the worst +of all. It's in this page. He was only one-and-twenty, and the eyes he +had; but how did it happen, that although they hanged him, every one +loved him? I seen his father and the poor mother looking up to the +gallows where he stood, and then she fainted, and she then got sick, +and poor ould Brian has nobody now but himself; and all that's on this +page." Here poor Raymond shed tears, so completely was he overpowered +by the force of his own imaginings. He again proceeded--"And the poor +white-headed son. What wouldn't the poor mother give to have his white +head to look at? but he will never waken--he will never waken more. +What's the name o' this book?" he inquired of Mr. Lucre. + +"My excellent and most intelligent friend," replied that gentleman, in +atone of meekness and humility that would have shamed an apostle; "my +most interesting friend, the name of that book in the Bible." + +"The Bible! oh yes; but am I doin' it right?" he inquired; "am I puttin' +the explanation to it as I ought? Sure they all oxplain it, and it's +only fair that Raymond should show his larnin' as well as any of them. +Let us see, then--murdher and bloodshed, hangin' and starvin', huntin', +purshuin, whippin', cowld and nakedness, hunger and sickness, death and +then madness, and then death agin, and then damnation! Did I explain +it?" + +"Perfectly, my friend--nothing can do better." + +"Well, then, think of it; but these aren't my explanations--but I know +who puts them to that bad book! Don't they take all I said out of it? +They do; and, sure, don't you see the poor people's blood, and tears, +and everything upon it; sure all I said is in it. Here," he exclaimed, +shuddering, "take it away, or may be it'll make me as wicked as the rest +of you. But, after all, maybe it's not the fault of the book, but of the +people." It would indeed be difficult to find a more frightful comment +upon the crimes and atrocities which have been perpetrated in this +divided country, in the name, and under the character of religion, than +that which issued, with a kind of methodical incoherency, from the lips +of _Raymond-na-hattha_. When he had concluded, Mr. Lucre, having first +wiped the big drops of perspiration from his forehead, politely asked +him if there was anything he could do for him. + +"Oh, ay," said he; "but first bring me a lump of good mate, and a quart +of portlier." + +"You shall have it, my excellent friend. John, ring the bell. You are a +very interesting person, Mr.--Mr.-- + +"_Raymond-na-hattha_, sir." + +"Mr. Raiment--very interesting, indeed. (Good God! am I to run the risk +of being-strangled in my own house by a madman!) Oh--here, Alick; +bring up some cold meat and a bottle of porter. Anything to make you +comfortable, my good sir." + +"I only want to see if all's right, sir," said Raymond, "and I'll tell +you by and by." This was followed by a look of most pitiable distress +from Lucre to his servant, John. + +Raymond no sooner saw the cold beef and bread laid down, together with a +bottle of porter, than he commenced an exhibition, which first, awoke +Mr. Lucre's astonishment, next his admiration, and lastly his envy. +Raymond's performance, however, was of that rare description which loses +by too frequent practice, and is only seen to advantage when the +opportunities for exhibition are few. Three mortal pounds having at +length disappeared, together with the greater part of a quartern loaf, +and two bottles of porter, for Raymond had made bold to call for a +second, he now wiped his mouth with the cuff of his coat first, and +afterwards, by way of a more delicate touch, with the gathered palm of +his hand; then, looking at Mr. Lucre, who sat perspiring with terror in +his gorgeous easy chair, our readers may judge of the ease it just then +communicated to that reverend gentleman, when he said, "It's all right +enough, sir." + +"I'm delighted to hear it," replied Mr. Lucre, applying the _sudariolum_ +once more with a very nervous and quivering hand to his forehead: + +"Is there anything else in which I can serve you, my good sir?" + +[Illustration: PAGE 231-- Borrow the loan of your religion] + +"Yes, there is--all's right, I've now made the thrial, and it will do--I +want to borrow the loan of your religion till the new praties comes in." + +"You shall have it, my worthy sir--you shall have it, with very great +pleasure." + +"The raison why I came to you for it," said Raymond, who, evidently in +this joke, had been put up by some one, "was bekaise I was tould that +it's as good as new with you--'seldom used lasts long,' you know--but, +such as it is, I'll borry it for--ah, there now, that's one; all right, +all right," pointing to the fragments of the meat and bread--"I wouldn't +ax betther; so, till the praties comes in, mind I'll take care of it; +and, if I don't bring it back safe, I'll bring you a betther one in it's +place." He then nodded familiarly to Mr. Lucre, and left the house. The +latter felt as if he breathed new life once more, but he could not so +readily pardon the man for admitting him. + +"What is the reason, sir," he asked, his face reddening, "that you +suffered that formidable madman to get into the house?" + +"Why, sir," replied the porter, "when I opened the door, he shot in like +a bolt; and, as for preventing him after that, if I had attempted it, +he'd have had me in fragments long ago. When he's not opposed, sir, or +crossed, he's quiet as a lamb, and wouldn't hurt a child; but, if he's +vexed, and won't get his own way, why ten men wouldn't stand him." + +"Take care that he shall never be admitted here again," said his master; +"I really am quite disturbed and nervous by his conduct and language, +which are perfectly unintelligible. Indeed I am absolutely unwell--the +shock was awful, and to occur on such a day, too--I fear my appetite +will be very much affected by it--a circumstance which would be +distressing beyond belief. Stop--perhaps it is not yet too late--ask +Francis is the venison down, and, if not, desire him not to dress it +to-day--I am out of appetite, say." + +John went, and in a couple of minutes returned, "Francis says it's +down, sir, for some time," replied the man, "and that it must be dressed +to-day, otherwise it will be spoiled." + +"And this is owing to you, you scoundrel," said his master in a +rage, "owing to your neglect and carlessness--but there is no placing +dependence upon one of you. See, you rascal, the position in which I +am--here is a delicious haunch of venison for dinner, and now I am so +much agitated and out of order that my appetite will be quite gone, and +it will be eaten by others before my face, while I cannot touch it. For +a very trifle I would this moment discharge you from my service, and +without a character too." + +"I am very sorry, sir, but the truth--" + +"Begone, you scoundrel, and leave the room, or I shall use the +horse-whip to you." + +John disappeared, and this great and zealous prop of Protestantism +walked to and fro his study, almost gnashing his teeth from the +apprehension of not having an appetite for the haunch of venison. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII.--Darby's Brief Retirement from Public Life. + +--A Controversial Discussion, together with the Virtues it Produced + + +Our readers may recollect that Darby in his pleasant dialogue with +Father M'Cabe, alluded to a man named Bob Beatty, as a person afflicted +with epilepsy. It was then reported that the priest had miraculously +cured him of that complaint; but, whether he had or not, one thing, at +least, was certain, that he became a Roman Catholic, and went regularly +to mass. He had been, in fact, exceedingly notorious for his violence as +an Orangeman, and was what the people then termed a blood-hound, and the +son of a man who had earned an unenviable reputation as a Tory hunter; +which means a person who devoted the whole energies of his life, and +brought all the rancour of a religious hatred to the task of pursuing +and capturing such unfortunate Catholics as came within grasp of penal +laws. Beatty, like all converts, the moment he embraced the Roman +Catholic creed, became a most outrageous opponent to the principles of +Protestantism. Every Orangeman and Protestant must be damned, and it +stood to reason they should, for didn't they oppose the Pope? Bob, then, +was an especial protege of Father M'Cabe's, who, on his part, had very +little to complain of his convert, unless it might be the difficulty +of overcoming a habit of strong swearing which had brought itself so +closely into his conversation, that he must either remain altogether +silent, or let fly the oaths. Another slight weakness, which was rather +annoying to the priest too, consisted in a habit Bob had, when any way +affected with liquor, of drinking in the very fervor of his new-born +zeal, that celebrated old toast, "to hell with the Pope!" These, +however, were but mere specks, and would be removed in time, by inducing +better habits. Now, it so happened, that on the day in question, Bob was +wending his way to Father M'Cabe's, to communicate some matter connected +with his religious feelings, and to ask his advice and opinion. + +"How confoundedly blind the world is," thought Bob, "not to see that +Popery--" he never called it anything else--"is the true faith! Curse +me but Priest M'Cabe is a famous fellow!--Zounds, what an Orangeman he +would make!--he's just the cut for it, an' it's a thousand pities he's +not one--but!--what the hell am I sayin?' They say he's cross and +ill-tempered, but I deny it--isn't he patient, except when in a +passion? and never in a passion unless when provoked; what the d--l more +would they have? I know I let fly an oath myself of an odd time (every +third word, good reader), but, then, sure the faith is never injured by +the vessel that contains it. Begad, but I'm sorry for my father, though, +for, as there's no salvation out o' Popery, the devil of it is, that +he's lost beyond purchase." + +In such eccentric speculations did Bob amuse himself, until, in +consequence of the rapid pace at which he went, he overtook a +fellow-traveller, who turned out to be no other than our friend Darby +O'Drive. There was, in fact, considering the peculiar character of these +two converts, something irresistibly comic in this encounter. Bob knew +little or nothing of the Roman Catholic creed; and, as for Darby, we +need not say that he was thoroughly ignorant of Protestantism. Yet, +nothing could be more certain--if one could judge by the fierce +controversial cock of Bob's hat, and the sneering contemptuous +expression of Darby's face, that a hard battle, touching the safest way +of salvation, was about to be fought between them. + +Bob, indeed, had of late been anxious to meet Darby, in order, as he +said, to make him "show the cloven foot, the rascal;" but Darby's ire +against the priest was now up; and besides, he reflected that a display +of some kind would recommend him to the Reformationists, especially, +he hoped, to Mr. Lucre, who, he was resolved, should hear it. The two +converts looked at each other with no charitable aspect. Darby was about +to speak, but Bob, who thought there was not a moment to be lost, gave +him a controversial facer before he had time to utter a word:--"How many +articles in your church?" + +[Illustration: PAGE 233-- How many articles in your church?] + +"How many articles in my church! There's one bad one in your church more +than ought to be in it, since they got you:--but can you tell me how +many sins cry to heaven for vengeance on you, you poor lost hathen?" + +"Don't hathen me, you had betther; but answer my question, you rascally +heretic." + +"Heretic inagh! oh, thin, is it from a barefaced idolather like you that +we hear heretic called to us! Faith, it's come to a purty time o' day +wid us!" + +"You're a blessed convart not to know the Forty-nine articles of your +fat establishment!" + +"And I'll hould a wager that you don't know this minute how many +saikerments in your idolathry. Oh, what a swaggerin' Catholic you are, +you poor hair-brained blackguard!" + +"I believe you found some convincin' texts in the big purse of the Bible +blackguards--do you smell that, Darby?" + +"You have a full purse, they say, but, by the time Father M'Cabe takes +the price of your trangressions out of it--as he won't fail to do--take +my word for it, it'll be as lank as a stocking without a leg in it--do +you smell that, Bob ahagur?" + +"Where was your church before the Reformation?" + +"Where was your face before it was washed?" + +"Do you know the four pillars that your Church rests upon? because if +you don't, I'LL tell you--it was Harry the aigth, Martin Luther, the +Law, and the Devil. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Ah, what a purty +boy you are, and what a deludin' face you've got." + +"So the priest's doin' you--he's the man can pluck a fat goose, Bob." + +"Don't talk of pluckin' geese--you have taken some feathers out o' the +Bible blades, to all accounts. How do you expect to be saved by joining +an open heresy?" + +"Whisht, you hathen, that has taken to idolathry bekase Father M'Cabe +made an ass of you by a thrick that every one knows. But I tell you to +your brazen face, that you'll be worse yet than ever you were." + +"You disgraced your family by turnin' apostate, and we know what for. +Little Solomon, the greatest rogue unhanged, gave you the only grace you +got or ever will get." + +"Why, you poor turncoat, isn't the whole country laughin' at you, +and none more than your own friends. The great fightin' Orangeman and +blood-hound turned voteen!--oh, are we alive afther that!" + +"The blaggard bailiff and swindler turned swadler, hopin' to get a +fatter cut from the Bible blades, oh!" + +"Have you your bades about you? if you have, I'll throuble you to give +us a touch of your Padareen Partha. Orange Bob at his Padareen Partha! +ha, ha, ha." + +"You know much about Protestantism. Blow me, but it's a sin to see such +a knavish scoundrel professing it." + +"It's a greater sin, you Orange omad-hawn, to see the likes o' you +disgracin' the bades an' the blessed religion you tuck an you." + +"You were no disgrace, then, to the one you left; but you are a burnin' +scandal to the one you joined, and they ought to kick you out of it." + +In fact, both converts, in the bitterness of their hatred, were +beginning to forget the new characters they had to support, and to glide +back unconsciously, or we should rather say, by the force of conscience, +to their original creeds. + +"If Father M'Cabe was wise he'd send you to the heretics again." + +"If the Protestants regarded their own character, and the decency of +their religion, they'd send you back to your cursed Popery again." + +"It's no beef atin' creed, anyway," said Darby, who had, without knowing +it, become once more a staunch Papist, "ours isn't." + +"It's one of knavery and roguery," replied Bob, "sure devil a thing one +of you knows only to believe in your Pope." + +"You had betther not abuse the Pope," said Darby, "for fraid I'd give +you a touch o' your ould complaint, the fallin' sickness, you know, wid +my fist." + +"Two could play at that game, Darby, and I say, to hell with him--and +the priests are all knaves and rogues, every one of them." + +"Are they, faith," said Darby, "here's an answer for that, anyhow." + +"Text for text, you Popish rascal." + +A fierce battle took place on the open highway, which was fought with +intense' bitterness on both sides. The contest, which was pretty equal, +might, however, have been terminated by the defeat of one of them, +had they been permitted to fight without support on either side; this, +however, was not to be. A tolerably large crowd, composed of an equal +number of Catholics and Protestants, collected from the adjoining +fields, where they had been at labor, immediately joined them. Their +appearance, unhappily, had only the effect of renewing the battle. +The Catholics, ignorant of the turn which the controversy had taken, +supported Bob and Protestantism; whilst the Protestants, owing to a +similar mistake, fought like devils for Darby and the Pope. A pretty +smart skirmish, in fact, which lasted more than twenty minutes, took +place between the parties, and were it not that their wives, sisters, +daughters, and mothers, assisted by many who were more peaceably +disposed, threw themselves between them, it might have been much more +serious than it was. If the weapons of warfare ceased, however, so did +not their tongues; there was abundance of rustic controversy exchanged +between them, that is to say, polemical scurrility much of the same +enlightened character as that in the preceding dialogue. The fact of +the two parties, too, that came to their assistance, having mistaken the +proper grounds of the quarrel, reduced Darby and Bob to the necessity +of retracing their steps, and hoisting once more their new colors, +otherwise their respective friends, had they discovered the blunder they +had committed, would, unquestionably, have fought the battle a second +time on its proper merits. Bob, escorted by his Catholic friends, who +shouted and huzza'd as they went along, proceeded to Father M'Cabe's; +whilst Darby and his adherents, following their example, went towards +M'Clutchy's, and having left him within sight of Constitution Cottage, +they returned to their labor. + +We have already said, that neither M'Clutchy nor M'Slime was at all a +favorite with Darby. Darby was naturally as avaricious, and griping, and +oppressive as either of them; and as he was the principal instrument of +their rapacity and extortion, he deemed it but fair and just that they +should leave him at least a reasonable share of their iniquitous gains. +They were not, however, the gentlemen to leave much behind them, and +the upshot was, that Darby became not only highly dissatisfied at their +conduct towards him, but jealous and vigilant of all their movements, +and determined to watch an opportunity of getting them both into +his power. M'Slime's trick about M'Clutchy's letter first awoke his +suspicions, and the reader is already acquainted with the dexterous +piece of piety by which he secured it. Both letters now were in his +possession, or at least in a safe place; but as he had not yet read +them, he did not exactly know what line of conduct or deportment to +assume. Then, how face M'Clutchy without M'Slime's answer? Darby, +however, was fertile, and precisely the kind of man who could, as they +sav, kill two birds with one stone. He had it;--. just the very thing +that would serve every purpose. Accordingly, instead of going to +M'Clutchy's at all, he turned his steps to his own house; tied an old +stocking around his head, got his face bandaged, and deliberately took +to his bed in a very severe state of illness. And, indeed, to tell the +truth, a day or two in bed was not calculated to do him the least harm, +but a great deal of good; for what, between the united contributions of +Father M'Cabe and Bob Beatty, he was by no means an unfit subject for +the enjoyment of a few days' retirement from public life. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV.--Poll Doolin's Honesty, and Phil's Gallantry + +--A Beautiful but Cowardly Method of Destroying Female Reputation.--A +Domiciliary Visit from the Blood-hounds--Irresponsible Power + + +At length the hour of Mary M'Loughlin's appointment with Phil arrived, +and the poor girl found herself so completely divided between the +contending principles of love for Harman and aversion towards Phil, +that she scarcely knew the purport of her thoughts or actions. Harman's +safety, however, was the predominant idea in her soul, and in order +to effect that, or at least to leave nothing undone to effect it, +she resolved, as pure and disinterested attachment always will do--to +sacrifice her detestation for young M'Clutchy, so far as to give him an +opportunity of satisfying her that he was sincere in wishing to save her +lover. This setting aside her invincible and instinctive hatred of that +worthy gentleman, was, she thought, not at least unreasonable, and with +her mind thus regulated she accordingly awaited the appointed time. On +reaching the back of her father's garden she found that Phil had not +arrived, but somewhat to her relief she was accosted by Poll Doolin, +who approached from a clump of trees that stood in deep and impenetrable +shadow, whilst she and Poll were easily visible under the dim light of +what is called a watery and cloudy moon. + +Poll, as she addressed her, spoke eagerly, and her voice trembled with +what appeared to Mary to be deep and earnest agitation. + +"Miss M'Loughlin," she exclaimed, in a low, but tremulous voice, "I now +forgive your father all--I forgive him and his--you need not forgive, +for I never bore you ill-will--but I am bound to tell you that there's +danger over your father's house and hearth this night. There is but one +can save them, and he will. You must go into your own room, raise the +window, and he will soon be there." + +"What is that, Poll," said Mary, seriously alarmed, "I thought I heard +the sound of low voices among the trees there. Who are they, or what is +it?" + +"Make haste," said Poll, leading the way, "go round to your room and +come to the window. It's an awful business--there is people there in the +clump--be quick, and when you come to the window raise it, and I'll tell +you more through it." + +Mary, in a state of great terror, felt that ignorant as she was of the +dangers and difficulties by which she was surrounded, she had no other +alternative than to be guided by Poll, who seemed to know the full +extent of the mysterious circumstances to which she made such wild and +startling allusions. + +Poll immediately proceeded to Miss M'Loughlin's bed-room, the window of +which was soon opened by Mary herself, who with trembling hands raised +it no higher than merely to allow the necessary communication between +them. + +"You don't know, nor could you never suspect," said Poll, "the struggles +that Misther Phil is makin' for you and yours. This night, maybe +this hour, will show his friendship for your family. And now, Mary +M'Loughlin, if you wish to have yourself and them safe--safe, I say, +from his own father's blood-hounds," and this she hissed into her ear, +squeezing her hand at the same time until it became painful--in a voice +so low, earnest, and condensed, that it was scarcely in human nature to +question the woman's sincerity; "if," she continued, "you wish to have +them safe--and Harman safe, be guided by him, and let him manage it +his own way. He will ask you to do nothing that is wrong or improper in +itself; but as you love your own family--as you value Harman's life--let +him act according to his own way, for he knows them he has to deal with +best." + +"Wo--wo--heavy and bitter betide you, Poll Doolin, if you are now +deceiving me, or prompting mo to do anything that is improper! I +will not act in this business blindfold--neither I nor my family are +conscious of evil, and I shall certainly acquaint them this moment with +the danger that is over them." + +"By the souls of the dead," replied Poll, uttering the oath in Irish, +"if you do what you say there will be blood shed this night--the blood, +too, of the nearest and dearest to you! Do not be mad, I say, do not be +mad!" + +"May God guide me?" exclaimed the distressed girl, bursting into tears; +"for of myself I know not how to act." + +"Be guided by Mr. Phil," said she; "he is the only man living that can +prevent the damnable work that is designed against your family this +night." + +She had scarcely uttered the words when Phil came breathless to the +window, and, as if moved by a sense of alarm, and an apprehension of +danger still greater than that expressed by Poll herself, he exclaimed-- + +"Miss M'Loughlin, it's no time for ceremony--my father's blood-hounds +are at your father's door; and there is but one way of saving your +family from violence and outrage. Excuse me--but I must pass in by this +window. You don't know what I risk by it; but for your sake and theirs +it must be done." + +Even as he spake, the trampling of horses feet and the jingling of arms +were distinctly heard at M'Loughlin.'s door--a circumstance which so +completely paralyzed the distracted girl, that she became perfectly +powerless with affright. Phil availed himself of the moment, put his +hand to the window, which he raised up, and deliberately entered, after +which he shut it down. Poll, while he did so, coughed aloud, as if +giving a signal; and in an instant, a number of individuals mostly +females, approached the window, near enough to see young M'Clutchy +enter, and shut the window after him. + +"Now," said Poll to the spectators, "I hope you're all satisfied; and +you, James Harman, will believe your own eyes, if you don't Poll Doolin. +Is that girl a fit wife for your cousin, do you think? Well, you're +satisfied, are you? Go home now, and help forrid the match, if you can. +You're a good witness of her conduct, at any rate." + +"I did not believe you, Poll," replied the young man whom she addressed; +"but unfortunately I am now satisfied, sure enough. My own eyes cannot +deceive me. Lost and unhappy girl! what will become of her? But that's +not all--for she has proved herself treacherous, and deceitful, and +worthless." + +"Ay," said the crones whom Poll had brought to witness what certainly +seemed to them to be the innocent girl's shame and degradation--"ay," +they observed, "there's now an end to her character, at any rate. +The pride of the M'Loughlins has got a fall at last--and indeed they +desarved it; for they held their heads as upsettin' as if they were +dacent Protestants, and them nothing but Papishes affeher all." + +"Go home, now," said Poll; "go home all of yez. You've seen enough, +and too much. Throth I'm sorry for the girl, and did all I could, to +persuade her against the step she tuck; but it was no use--she was more +like one that tuck love powdhers from him, than a raisonable bein'." + +Harman's cousin had already departed, but in such a state of amazement, +indignation, and disgust, that he felt himself incapable of continuing a +conversation with any one, or of bestowing his attention upon any other +topic whatsoever. He was thunderstruck--his very faculties were nearly +paralyzed, and his whole mind literally clouded in one dark chaos of +confusion and distress. + +"Now," said Poll to the females who accompanied her--"go home every one +of yez; but, for goodness sake don't be spakin' of what you seen this +night. The poor girl's correcther's gone, sure enough; but for all that, +let us have nothing to say to her or Mr. Phil. It'll all come out time +enough, and more than time enough, without our help; so, as I said, +hould a hard cheek about it. Indeed it's the safest way to do so--for +the same M'Loughlins is a dangerous and bitther faction to make or +meddle with. Go off now, in the name of goodness, and say nothin' to +nobody--barring, indeed, to some one that won't carry it farther." + +Whilst this dialogue, which did not occupy more than a couple of +minutes, was proceeding, a scene of a different character took place +in M'Loughlin's parlor, upon a topic which, at that period, was a very +plausible pretext for much brutal outrage and violence on the part of +the Orange yeomanry--we mean the possession, or the imputed +possession, of fire-arms. Indeed the state of society in a great part of +Ireland--shortly after the rebellion of ninety-eight--was then such as a +modern conservative would blush for. An Orangeman, who may have happened +to entertain a pique against a Roman Catholic, or sustained an injury +from one, had nothing more to do than send abroad, or get some one to +send abroad for him, a report that he had fire-arms in his possession. +No sooner had this rumor spread, than a party of these yeomanry +assembled in their regimentals, and with loaded fire-arms, proceeded, +generally in the middle of the night or about day-break, to the +residence of the suspected person. The door, if not immediately opened, +was broken in--the whole house ransacked--the men frequently beaten +severely, and the ears of females insulted by the coarsest and most +indecent language. + +These scenes, which in nineteen cases out of twenty, the Orangemen got +up to gratify private hatred and malignity, were very frequent, and +may show us the danger of any government entrusting power, in whatever +shape, or arms or ammunition, to irresponsible hands, or subjecting one +party to the fierce passions and bigoted impulses of another. + +The noise of their horses' feet as they approached M'Loughlin's house +in a gallop, alarmed that family, who knew at once that it was a +domiciliary visit from M'Clutchy's cavalry. + +"Raise the window," said M'Loughlin himself, "and ask them what they +want--or stay, open the door," he added at the same time to another, +"and do not let us give them an excuse for breaking it in. It's the +blood-hounds, sure enough," observed he, "and here they are." + +In a moment they were dismounted, and having found the hall door +open, the parlor was crowded with armed men, who manifested all the +overbearing insolence and wanton insult of those who know that they can +do so with impunity. + +"Come, M'Loughlin," said Cochrane, now their leader, "you ribelly Papish +rascal, produce your arms--for we have been informed that you have arms +consaled in the house." + +"Pray who informed you, Mr. Cochrane?" + +"That's not your business, my man," replied Cochrane, "out with them +before we search." + +"I'll tell you what, Cochrane," replied M'Loughlin, "whoever informed +you that we have arms is a liar--we have no arms." + +"And right well they know that," said his son, "it's not for arms they +come, but it's a good excuse to insult the family." + +His father (who, on looking more closely at them, now perceived that +they were tipsy, and some of them quite drunk) though a man of singular +intrepidity, deemed it the wisest and safest course to speak to them as +civilly as possible. + +"I did'nt think, Tom Cochrane," said he, "that either I or any of my +family, deserved such a visit as this from, I may say, my own door +neighbors. It's not over civil, I think, to come in this manner, +disturbing a quiet and inoffensive family." + +"What's the ribelly rascal sayin'?" asked a drunken fellow, who lurched +across the floor, and would have fallen, had he not come in contact with +a chest of drawers, "what, wha-at's he say-ayin? but I sa-ay here's to +hell with the Po-po-pope--hurra!" + +"Ah?" said young M'Loughlin, "you have the ball at your own foot now, +but if we were man to man, with equal weapons, there would be none of +this swagger." + +"What's tha-at the young rible says," said 'the drunken fellow, +deliberately covering him with his cavalry pistol--"another word, and +I'll let day-light through you." + +"Come, Burke," said a man named Irwin, throwing up the muzzle of +the pistol, "none o' this work, you drunken brute. Don't be alarmed, +M'Loughlin, you shan't be injured." + +"Go go to h--l, George, I'll do what I--I li-like; sure 'all these +ribels ha-hate King William that sa-saved us from brass money a-and +wooden noggins--eh, stay, shoes it is; no matter, they ought to be +brogues I think, for it--it's brogues--ay, brogues, the papish--it is, +by hell, 'brogues and broghans an' a' the Pa-papishes wear--that +saved us from bra-brass money, an--and wooden brogues, that's it--for +dam-damme if ever the Papishers was da-dacent enough to wear brass +shoes, never, by jingo; so, boys, it's brass brogues--ay, do they +ha-hate King William, that put us in the pil-pillory, the pillory in +hell, and the devils pel-peltin' us with priests,--hurra boys, recover +arms--stand at aise--ha--ram down Catholics--hurra!" + +"Mr. M'Loughlin--" + +"Mislher M'Loughlin! ay, there's respect for a Pa-pish, an' from a +purple man, too!" + +"You had better be quiet, Burke," retorted Irwin, who was a determined +and powerful man. + +"For God's sake, gentlemen," said Mrs. M'Loughlin, "do not disturb or +alarm our family--you are at liberty to search the house, but, as God +is above us, we have no arms of any kind, and consequently there can be +none in the house." + +"Don't believe her," said Burke, "she's Papish--" He had not time to add +the offensive epithet, what ever it might have been, for Irwin--who, in +truth, accompanied the party with the special intention of repressing +outrage against the M'Loughlins whom he very much respected--having +caught him by the neck, shook the words back again, as it were, into his +very throat. "You ill-tongued drunken ruffian," said he, "if you don't +hold your scoundrell tongue, I'll pitch you head foremost out of the +house. We must search, Mrs. M'Loughlin," said Irwin, "but it will be +done as quietly as possible." + +They then proceeded through all the rooms, into which, singular as it +may appear, they scarcely looked, until they came into that in which we +left Mary M'Loughlin and Phil. The moment this worthy gentleman heard +their approach, he immediately shut the door, and, with all the seeming +trepidation and anxiety of a man who feared discover bustled about, and +made a show of preparing to resist their entrance. On coming to the +door, therefore, they found it shut, and everything apparently silent +within. + +"Open the door," said Irwin, "we want to search for arms." + +"Ah! boys," said Phil in a whisper through he key-hole, "pass on if you +love me--I give you my word of honor that there's no arms here but a +brace that is worth any money to be locked in." + +"We must open, Mr. Phil," said Sharpe, "you know our ordhers. By +Japurs," said he, in a side voice to the rest, "the fellow wasn't +boastin' at all; it's true enough--I'll uould goold he was right, and +that we'll find her inside with him." + +"When I see it, I'll believe it," said Irwin, but not till then. Open, +sir," said he, "open, if all's right." + +"Oh, d--n it, boys," said Phil again, "this is too bad--honor +bright:--surely you wouldn't expose us, especially the girl." At the +same time he withdrew his shoulder from the door, which flew open, and +discovered him striving to soothe and console Miss M'Loughlin, who +had not yet recovered her alarm and agitation, so as to understand the +circumstances which took place about her. In fact, she had been in that +description of excitement which, without taking away animation, leaves +the female (for it is peculiar to the sex) utterly incapable of taking +anything more than a vague cognizance of that which occurs before her +eyes. The moment she and Phil were discovered together, not all Irwin's +influence could prevent the party from indulging in a shout of triumph. +This startled her, and was, indeed, the means of restoring her to +perfect consciousness, and a full perception of her situation. + +"What is this?" she inquired, "and why is it that a peaceable house +is filled with armed men? and you, Mr. M'Clutchy, for what treacherous +purpose did you intrude into my private room?" + +M'Loughlin. himself, from a natural dread of collision between his +sons and the licentious yeomanry, and trusting to the friendship and +steadiness of Irwin, literally stood sentinel at the parlor door, and +prevented them from accompanying the others in the search. + +"My darling Mary," said Phil, "it's too late now, you see, to speak in +this tone--we're caught, that's all, found out, and be cursed to these +fellows. If they had found us anywhere else but in your bed-room, I +didn't so much care; however, it can't be helped now." + +As he spoke he raised his eye-brows from time to time at his companions, +and winked with an expression of triumph so cowardly and diabolical, +that it is quite beyond our ability to describe it. They, in the +meantime, winked and nodded in return, laughed heartily, and poked one +another in the ribs. + +"Bravo, Mr. Phil!--success, Captain!--more power to you!" + +"Come now, boys," said Phil, "let us go. Mary, my darling, I must leave +you; but we'll meet again where they can't disturb us--stand around me, +boys, for, upon my honor and soul, these hot-headed fellows of brothers +of hers will knock my brain's out, if you don't guard me well; here, +put me in the middle of you--good by, Mary, never mind this, we'll meet +again." + +However anxious M'Loughlin had been to prevent the possibility of angry +words or blows between his sons and these men still the extraordinary +yell which accompanied the discovery of young M'Clutchy in his +daughter's bedroom, occasioned him to relax his vigilance, and rush to +the spot, after having warned and urged them to remain where they were. +Notwithstanding his remonstrances, they followed his footsteps, and the +whole family, in fact, reached her door as Phil uttered the last words. + +"Great God, what is this," exclaimed her father, "how came M'Clutchy, +Val the Vulture's son, into my daughter's sleeping-room? How came you +here, sir?" he added sternly, "explain it." + +Not even a posse of eighteen armed men, standing in a circle about him, +each with a cocked and loaded pistol in his hand, could prevent the +cowardly and craven soul of him from quailing before the eye of her +indignant father. His face became like a sheet of paper, perfectly +bloodless, and his eye sank as if it were never again to look from the +earth, or in the direction of the blessed light of heaven. + +"Ah!" he proceeded, "you are, indeed, your treacherous, cowardly, and +cruel father's son; you cannot raise your eye upon me, and neither +could he. Mary," he proceeded, addressing his daughter, "how did this +treacherous scoundrel get into your room? tell the truth--but that I +need not add, for I know you will." + +His daughter had been standing for some time in a posture that betrayed +neither terror nor apprehension. Raised to her full height, she looked +upon M'Clutchy and his men alternately, but principally upon himself, +with a smile which in truth was fearful. Her eyes brightened into clear +and perfect fire, the roundness of her beautiful arm was distended +by the coming forth of its muscles--her lips became firm--her cheek +heightened in color--and her temples were little less than scarlet. +There she stood, a concentration of scorn, contempt, and hatred the +most intense, pouring upon the dastardly villain an unbroken stream of +withering fury, that was enough to drive back his cowardly soul into the +deepest and blackest recesses of its own satanic baseness. Her father, +in fact, was obliged to address her twice, before he could arrest her +attention; for such was the measureless indignation which her eye poured +upon him, that she could scarcely look upon any other object. + +"My child, did you hear me?" said her father. "How did this heartless +and down-looking scoundrel get into your apartment?" + +She looked quickly upon her father's features-- + +"How?" said she; "how but by treachery, falsehood, and fraud! Is he not +Val M'Clutchy's son, my dear father?" + +Her brothers had not yet uttered a syllable, but stood like their sister +with flushed cheeks and burning indignation in their eyes. On hearing +what their sister had just said, however, as if they had all been +moved by the same impulse, thought, or determination--as in truth they +were--their countenances became pale as death--they looked at each +other significantly--then at Phil--and they appeared very calm, as +if relieved--satisfied; but the expression of the eye darkened into a +meaning that was dreadful to look upon. + +"That is enough, my child," replied her father; "I suppose, my friends, +you are now satisfied--." + +"Yes, by h--l," shouted Burke, "we are now satisfied." + +Irwin had him again by the neck--"Silence," said he, "or, as heaven's +above mo, I'll drive your brainless skull in with the butt of my +pistol." + +"You are satisfied," continued M'Loughlin, "that there are no arms here. +I hope you will now withdraw. As for you, treacherous and cowardly spawn +of a treacherous and cowardly father, go home and tell him to do his +worst.--that I scorn and defy him--that I will live to see him----; but +I am wrong,he is below our anger, and I will not waste words upon him." + +"You will find you have used a thrifle too many for all that," said +another of them; "when he hears them, you may be sure he'll put them in +his pocket for you--as hear them he will." + +"We don't care a d--n," said another, "what he does to blackguard +Papishes, so long as he's a right good Orangeman, and a right good +Protestant, too." + +"Come now," said Irwin, "our duty is over--let us start for home; we +have no further business here." + +"Won't you give us something to drink?" asked a new voice; "I think we +desarve it for our civility. We neither broke doors nor furniture, nor +stabbed either bed or bed-clothes. We treated you well, and if you're +dacent you'll treat us well." + +"Confound him," said a fresh hand; "I'd not drink his cursed Papish +whiskey. Sure the Papishes gets the priest to christen it for them. I +wouldn't drink his cursed Papish whiskey." + +"No, nor I," said several voices;--upon which a loud and angry dispute +arose among them, as to whether it were consistent with true loyalty, +and the duties of a staunch Protestant and Orangeman, to drink 'Papish +liquor,' as they termed it, at all. + +Irwin, who joined the negative party, insisted strongly that it would be +disgraceful for any man who had drunk the glorious, pious, and immortal +memory, ever to contaminate his loyal lips with whiskey that had been +made a Papish of by the priest. This carried the argument, or otherwise +it is hard to say what mischief might have arisen, had they heightened +their previous intoxication. + +Phil, during this dialogue, still retained his place in the centre +of his friends; but from time to time he kept glancing from under his +eyebrows at M'Loughlin and his sons, in that spaniel-like manner, which +betrays a consciousness of offence and a dread of punishment. + +Irwin now caused them to move off; and, indeed, scarcely anything could +be more ludicrous than the utter prostration of all manly feeling upon +the part of the chief offender. On separating, the same baleful +and pallid glances were exchanged between the brothers, who clearly +possessed an instinctive community of feeling upon the chief incident of +the night--we mean that of finding M'Clutchy in their sister's bedroom. +Irwin noticed their mute, motionless, but ghastly resentment, as did +Phil himself, who, whether they looked at him or not, felt that their +eyes were upon him, and that come what might, so long as he remained +in the country he was marked as their victim. This consciousness of his +deserts was not at all lessened by the observations of Irwin upon his +conduct; for be it known, that although there subsisted a political bond +that caused Phil and the violent spirits of the neighborhood to come +frequently together, yet nothing could exceed the contempt which they +felt for him in his private and individual capacity. + +"Brother M'Clutchy," said Irwin, "I'm afraid you've made a bad night's +work of it. By the moon above us, I wouldn't take the whole Castle +Cumber property and stand in your shoes from this night out." + +"Why so?" said Phil, who was now safe and beyond their immediate reach; +"why so, Irwin? I'll tell you what, Irwin; d---- my honor, but I think +you're cowardly. Did you see how steady I was to-night? Not a syllable +escaped my lips; but, zounds, didn't you see how my eye told?" + +"Faith, I certainly did, brother Phil, and a devilish bad tale it told, +too, for yourself. Your father has promised me a new lease, with your +life in it; but after this night, and after what I saw, I'll beg to have +your name left out of that transaction." + +"But didn't you see, George," returned Phil, "that a man of them +durstn't look me in the face? They couldn't stand my eye; upon my honor +they couldn't." + +"Ay," said Burke, "that's because they're Papishes. A rascally Papish +can never look a Protestant in the face." + +"Well but," said Phil, "you would not believe that the girl was so fond +of me as she is, until you saw it. I knew very well they had no arms; +so, as I wished to give you an opportunity of judging for yourselves, I +put the journey upon that footing." + +"Well," said Irwin, "we shall see the upshot--that's all." + +They then escorted Phil home, after which they dispersed. + +When M'Loughlin's family assembled in the parlor, after their departure, +a deep gloom I brooded over them for some minutes. Mary herself was the +first to introduce the incident which gave them so much distress, and in +which she herself had been so painfully involved. She lost not a moment, +therefore, in relating fully and candidly the whole nature of her +intercourse with Poll Doolin, and the hopes held out to her of Harman's +safety, through Phil M'Clutchy. At the same time, she expressed in +forcible language, the sacrifice of feeling which it had cost her, and +the invincible disgust with which she heard his very name alluded +to. She then simply related the circumstance of his entering her +room through the open window, and her belief, in consequence of the +representations of Poll Doolin, that he did so out of his excessive +anxiety to prevent bloodshed by the troopers--the trampling of whose +horses' feet and the ringing of whose arms had so completely overpowered +her with the apprehension of violence, that she became incapable of +preventing M'Clutchy's entrance, or even of uttering a word for two or +three minutes. + +"However," said she, "I now see their design, which was to' ruin my +reputation, and throw a stain upon my character and good name. So far, I +fear, they have succeeded." Tears then came to her relief, and she wept +long and bitterly. + +"Do not let it trouble you, my darling," said her father. "Your +conscience and heart are innocent, and that is a satisfaction greater +than anything can deprive you of. You were merely wrong in not letting +us know the conversation that took place between Poll Doolin and you; +because, although you did not know it, we could have told you that Poll +is a woman that no modest female ought to speak to in a private way. +There was your error, Mary; but the heart was right with you, and +there's no one here going to blame you for a fault that you didn't know +to be one." + +Mary started on hearing this account of Poll Doolin, for she felt now +that the interviews she held with her were calculated to heighten her +disgrace, when taken in connection with the occurrence of the night. +Her brothers, however, who knew her truth and many virtues, joined their +parents in comforting and supporting her, but without the success which +they could have wished. The more she thought of the toils and snares +that had been laid for her, the more her perception of the calamity +began to gain strength, and her mind to darken. She became restless, +perplexed, and feverish--her tears ceased to flow--she sighed deeply, +and seemed to sink into that most withering of maladies, dry grief, +which, in her case, was certainly the tearless anguish of the heart. +In this state she went to bed, conscious of her own purity, but by no +means, in its full extent, of the ruined reputation to which she must +awake on the succeeding day. + +Mary's brothers, with the exception of the words in which they joined +their father and mother in consoling her, scarcely uttered a syllable +that night--the same silent spirit, be it of good or evil, remained upon +them. They looked at each other, however, from time to time, and seemed +to need no other interpreter of what passed within them, but their own +wild and deep-meaning glances. This did not escape their father, who was +so much struck, perhaps alarmed, by it, that he very properly deemed it +his duty to remonstrate with them on the subject. + +"Boys," said he, "I don't understand your conduct this night, and, above +all, I don't understand your looks--or rather, I think I do, I'm afraid +I do--but, listen to me, remember that revenge belongs to God. You know +what the Scripture says, 'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, and I will +repay it.' Leave that bad son of a worse father to God." + +"He has destroyed Mary's reputation," said John, the eldest; "I might, +possibly, forgive him if he had killed her like a common murderer, but +he has destroyed our pure-hearted sister's reputation, ha, ha, ha." The +laugh that followed these last words came out so unexpectedly, abruptly, +and wildly, that his father and mother both started. He then took the +poker in his hands, and, with a smile at his brothers, in which much +might be read, he clenched his teeth, and wound it round his arms with +apparent ease. "If I gotten thousand pounds," said he, "I could not have +done that two hours ago, but I can now--are you satisfied?" said he to +his brothers. + +"Yes, John," they replied, "we are satisfied--that will do." + +"Yes," he proceeded, "I could forgive anything but that. The father's +notice to us to quit the holding on which we and our forefathers lived +so long, and expended so much money--and his refusal to grant us a +lease, are nothing:--now we could forgive all that; but this, +this--oh, I have no name for it--the language has not words to express +it--but--well, well, no matter for the present. If the cowardly +scoundrel would fight!--but he won't, for the courage is not in him." + + + + +CHAPTER XV.--Objects of an English Traveller + +--Introduction of a New Character--Correspondence between Evory Easel, +Esq., and Sam Spinageberd, Esq.--Susanna and the Elder; or, the +Conventicle in Trouble--Phils Gallantry and Courage. + + +It was about eleven o'clock the next day that a person in the garb of a +gentleman, that is, the garb was a plain one enough, but the air of the +person who wore it was evidently that of a man who had seen and mingled +in respectable life, was travelling towards Springfield, the residence +of Mr. Hickman, when he overtook two females, one of whom was dressed in +such a way as made it clear that she wished to avoid the risk of being +known. She was a little above the middle size, and there could be +little doubt, from the outline of her figure, that, in the opinion +of unsuspicious people, she had reached the dignity of a matron. Her +companion was dressed in faded black, from top to toe, and from the +expression of her thin, sallow face, and piercing black eyes, there +could be little doubt she had seen a good deal of the world as it exists +in rustic life. The person who overtook these two females carried a +portfolio, and appeared to observe the country and its scenery, as he +went along with well marked attention. + +"Pray, ma'am," said he, "whose is that fine old building to the right, +which appears to be going to ruin? It is evidently not inhabited." + +"You're a stranger in the place, then," replied the female, "or you +surely might know Castle Cumber House, where old Tom Topertoe used +to live before the union came. He was made a lord of for sellin' our +parliament, and now his son, the present lord, is leadin' a blessed life +abroad, for he never shows his face here." + +"He is an absentee, then?" + +"To be sure he is, and so is every man of them now, barrin' an odd +one. The country's deserted, and although business is lookin' up +a little--take your time, Susanna, we needn't be in sich a hurry +now--although, as I said, business is lookin' up a little, still it's +nothing to what it was when the gentry lived at home wid us." + +"Who is agent to this Lord Cumber, pray?" + +"A blessed boy, by all accounts, but that's all I'll say about him--I +know him too well to make him my enemy." + +"Why, is he not popular--is he not liked by the tenantry?" + +"Oh, Lord, to be sure--they doat upon him; and, indeed, no wondher, he's +so kind and indulgent to the poor. To tell you the truth, he's a great +blessin' to the country." + +"That, to be sure, is very satisfactory--and, pray, if I may take the +liberty, who is his law agent, or has he one?" + +"Why, another blessed--hem--a very pious devout man, named Mr. Solomon +M'Slime, an attorney--but, indeed, an attorney that almost shames the +Bible itself, he's so religious. Isn't he, Susanna?" + +"He hath good gifts; if he doth not abuse them." + +"Religion is certainly the best principle in life, if sincerely felt, +and not prostituted and made a mask of." + +"A mask! isn't that, sir, a thing that people put on and off their face, +according as it may suit them?" + +"Just so, madam; you have exactly described it." + +"Oh, the divil a mask ever he made of it, then, for he never lays it +aside at all. He has kept it on so steadily, that, I'll take my oath, +if he was to throw, it off now, he wouldn't know himself in the +looking-glass, it's so long since he got a glimpse of his own face." + +"Lord Cumber must be a happy man to have two such valuable agents upon +his property." + +"Talkin' of Lord Cumber and his property, if you wish to know all about +them, here's your man comin' over by the cross road here--he's goin' +to M'Clutchy's I suppose, and, as you appear to be goin' in the same +direction, I'll hand you over to him. Good morrow, Darby?" + +"Good morrow, kindly, Poll, and--eh--who's this you've got wid you?" he +continued, eyeing Susanna, "a stranger to me, any how. Well, Poll, and +how are you?" + +"There's no use in complainin', Darby; I'm middlin'--and how is +yourself?" + +"Throth, Poll, I've a lump in my stomach that I fear will settle me yet, +if I don't get it removed somehow. But, sure, the hathens, I forgive +them." In the meantime he slyly rubbed his nose and winked both eyes, as +he looked towards Susanna, as much as to say, "I know all." + +Poll, however, declined to notice the recognition, but renewed the +discourse-- + +"Why, Darby, how did the lump come into your stomach? Faith, in these +hard times, there's many a poor divel would be glad to have such a +complaint--eh?" + +"And, is it possible you didn't hear it?" he asked with surprise, +"howandever, you shall. I was carrying a letther from Mr. M'Slime, that +good, pious crature"--another shrewd look at Susanna, "Mr. M'Slime to +Mr. M'Clutchy, another good gintleman, too, and who should attack me +on the way but that turncoat hathen Bob Beatty, wid a whole posse of +idolathers at his heels. They first abused me because I left them in +their darkness, and then went to search me for writs, swearin' that +they'd make me ait every writ I happened to have about me. Now, I +didn't like to let Mr. M'Slime's letther fall into their hands, and, +accordingly, I tore it up and swallowed it, jist in ordher to disappoint +the hathens. Howandever, I'm sufferin' for it, but sure you know, Poll, +it's our duty--I don't mane yours, for you're a hathen and idolather +still--but mine; it's my duty to suffer for the thruth, anyhow." + +Poll's laughter was loud and vehement on hearing these sentiments from +a man she knew so well; but, to tell the truth, Darby, who felt that, in +consequence of his last interview with Lucre, he was in for it, came to +the resolution of doing it heavy, as they say, or, in other words, of +going the whole hog. + +"This appears to be a strange country, observed the traveller. + +"Wait," said Poll, "till you come to know it, and you'll say that." + +"No, but wait," observed Darby, "till the spread comes, and then you may +say it." + +"What do you mean by the spread?" asked! the stranger. + +"Why, the spread o' the gospel--of religion, to be shure," replied +Darby; "and in this counthry," he added, "a glorious spread it is, +the Lord be praised! Are you travellin far in this direction, sir, wid +summission?" + +"I am going as far as Springfield, the residence of a Mr. Hickman, to +whom I have a letter of introduction. Do you know him?" + +"He was an agent on this property," replied Darby; "but Mr. M'Clutchy +came afther him; and, indeed, the tenants is mighty well satisfied wid +the change. Hickman, sir, was next to a hathen--made no differ in life +between an idolather and a loyal Protestant, but Mr. M'Clutchy, on the +other hand, knows how to lean to his own, as he ought to do. And in +regard o' that, I'd advise you when you see Mr. Hickman, jist to be on +your guard as to what he may say about the Castle Cumber property, +and them that's employed an it. Between you and me, he's not over +scrupulous, and don't be surprised if he lays it hot and heavy on Mr. +M'Clutchy and others, not forgettin' your humble sarvant, merely in +regard of our honesty and loyalty, for I'm a staunch Protestant, myself, +glory be to God, and will support the Castle Cumber inthrest through +thick and thin. Now, sir," he added, "there's two ways to Hickman's; and +between you and me agin' Mr. Hickman is a real gentleman, exceptin' his +little failings about M'Clutchy; but who is widout them? I dunna, but it +would be as well if he had remained agent still; and when you see him, +if you happen to say that Darby O'Drive tould you so, I think he'll +understand you. Well--there's two ways, as I said, to this place--one by +this road, that turns to the right--which, indeed, is the shortest--the +other is by Constitution Cottage, which is M'Clutchy's place, where I am +goin' to." + +The stranger, after thanking Darby for his information, took the shorter +road, and in about an hour or so reached Springfield. + +It is not our intention to detail his interview with Mr. Hickman. For +the present it is sufficient to say, that he produced to that gentleman +a letter of introduction from Lord Cumber himself, who removed all +mystery from about him, by stating that he was an English artist, who +came over on a foolish professional tour, to see and take sketches of +the country, as it appeared in its scenery, as well as in the features, +character, and costume of its inhabitants. He had also introductions to +M'Clutchy, M'Slime, Squire Deaker, M. Lucre, and several other prominent +characters of the neighborhood. + +As this gentleman amused himself by keeping an accurate and regular +journal of all events connected with the Castle Cumber property, or +which occurred on it, we feel exceedingly happy in being able to lay +these important chronicles before our readers, satisfied as we are, that +they will be valued, at least on the other side of the channel, exactly +in proportion to the scanty opportunities he had of becoming acquainted +with our language, manners, and character. The MS. is now before us, +and the only privilege we reserve to ourselves is simply to give his +dialogue an Irish turn, and to fill up an odd chasm here and there, +occasioned by his ignorance of circumstances which have come to our +knowledge through personal cognizance, and various other sources. The +journal now in our possession is certainly the original one; but we know +that copies of it were addressed successively, as the events occurred, +to a gentleman in London, named Spinageberd, under cover to Lord Cumber +himself, who kindly gave them the benefit of his frank, during the +correspondence. Our friend, the journalist, as the reader will perceive, +does not merely confine himself to severe facts, but gives us all the +hints, innuendoes, and rumors of the day, both personal, religious and +political. With these, our duty is simply to confirm or contradict them +where we can, and where we cannot, to leave them just as we found them, +resting upon their intrinsic claims to belief or otherwise. Having +premised thus far, we beg leave to introduce to our reader's special +acquaintance, Evory Easel, Esq., an English Artist and Savan, coming to +_do_ a portion of the country, ladies and gentleman, as has been often +done before. + + +Batch No. I. Evory Easel, Esq., to Sam Spinageberd, Esq. + +"Old Spinageberd: + +"Here I am at last, in the land of fun and fighting---mirth and +misery--orange and green. I would have written to you a month ago, but, +that such a course was altogether out of my calculation. The moment I +arrived, I came to the determination of sauntering quietly about, but +confining myself to a certain locality, listening to, and treasuring +up, whatever I could see or hear, without yet availing myself of Lord +Cumber's introductions, in order that my first impressions of the +country and the people, might result from personal observation, and not +from the bias, which accounts heard here from either party, might be apt +to produce. First, then, I can see the folly, not to say the injustice, +which I ought to say, of a landlord placing his property under the +management of a furious partisan, whose opinions, political and +religious are not merely at variance with but, totally opposed to, those +whose interests are entrusted to his impartiality and honesty. In the +management of a property circumstanced as that of Castle Cumber is, +where the population is about one-half Roman Catholic, and the +other half Protestant and Presbyterian, between us, any man, my dear +Spinageberd, not a fool or knave, must see the madness of employing a +fellow who avows himself an enemy to the creed of one portion of the +tenantry, and a staunch supporter of their opponents. Is this fair, or +can justice originate in its purity from such a source? Is it reasonable +to suppose that a Roman Catholic tenantry, who, whatever they may bear, +are impatient of any insult or injustice offered to their creed, or, +which is the same thing, to themselves on account of that creed,--is it +reasonable, I say, to suppose that such a people could rest satisfied +with a man who acts towards them only through the medium of his fierce +and ungovernable prejudices? Is it not absurd to imagine for one moment +that property can be fairly administered through such hands, and, if +not property, how much less justice itself. You may judge of my +astonishment, as an Englishman, when I find that the administration of +justice is in complete keeping with that of property; for, I find it an +indisputable fact, that nineteen magistrates, out of every twenty, are +Orangemen, or party men of some description, opposed to Roman Catholic +principles. And, yet, the Roman Catholic party are expected to exhibit +attachment to the government which not merely deprives them of their +civil rights, but literally places the execution of the laws in the +hands of their worst and bitterest enemies. I say so deliberately; for +I find that nothing so strongly recommends a man to the office +of magistrate, or, indeed, to any office under government, as the +circumstance of being a strong, conspicuous anti-Catholic. In writing +to you, my dear Spinageberd, you may rest assured that I will give +expression to nothing but truths which are too well known to be +contradicted. The subject of property in Ireland, is one, which, +inasmuch as it is surrounded with great difficulties, is also entitled +to great consideration. + +"If there be any one prejudice in the character of an Irish peasant +stronger or more dangerous than another--and he has many, they say, that +are both strong and dangerous--it is that which relates to property and +the possession of it. This prejudice is, indeed, so conscious of its own +strength, and imbued in this opinion with so deep a conviction of its +justice, that, in ordinary circumstances, it scorns the aid of all +collateral and subordinate principles and even flings religion aside, as +an unnecessary ally, justice, therefore, or oppression, or partiality in +the administration of property, constitutes the greatest crime known to +the agrarian law, and is consequently resisted by the most unmitigable +and remorseless punishment. The peasant who feels, or believes himself +to be treated with injustice, or cruelty, never pauses to reflect upon +the religion of the man whom he looks upon as his oppressor. He will +shoot a Catholic landlord or agent from behind a hedge, with as much +good will as he would a Protestant. Indeed, in general, he will prefer a +Protestant landlord to those of his own creed, knowing well, as he does, +that the latter, where they are possessed of property, constitute the +very worst class of landlords in the kingdom. As religion, therefore, is +not at all necessarily mixed up with the Irishman's prejudices as this +subject--it is consequently both dangerous and wicked to force it to an +adhesion with so dreadful a principle as that which resorts to noon-day +or midnight murder. This is unfortunately what such fellows as this +M'Clutchy do. They find the Irish peasant with but one formidable +prejudice in relation to property, and by a course of neglect, +oppression, and rapacity, joined to all the malignant rancor of +religious bigotry and party feeling, they leave him goaded by a hundred. +I believe in my soul that there are many fire-brands like M'Clutchy in +this country, who create the crime, in order to have the gratification +of punishing it, and of wreaking a legal vengeance upon the unfortunate +being who has been guilty of it, in order that they may recommend +themselves as loyal men to the government of the day. If this be so, how +can the country be peaceable? If it be peaceable, such men can have +no opportunity of testing their loyalty, and if they do not test their +loyalty, they can have no claim upon the government, and having no claim +upon the government, they will get nothing from it. The day will come, I +hope, when the very existence of men like these, and of the system which +encouraged; them, will be looked upon with disgust and wonder--when the +government of our country will make no invidious distinctions of creed +or party, and will not base the administration of its principles upon +the encouragement of hatred between man and man. + +"Hickman, the former agent, was the first to whom I presented Lord +Cumber's letter. He is a gentleman by birth, education, and property; a +man of a large and a liberal mind, well stored with information and has +the character of being highly, if not punctiliously honorable. His age +is about fifty-five, but owing to his regular and temperate habits of +life, and in this country temperance is a virtue indeed, he scarcely, +looks beyond forty. Indeed, I may observe by the way, that in this +blessed year of ----, the after-dinner indulgences of the Irish +squirearchy, who are the only class that remain in the country, resemble +the drunken orgies of Silenus and his satyrs, more than anything else to +which I can compare them. The conversation is in general licentious, +and the drinking beastly; and I don't know after all, but the Irish are +greater losers by their example than they would be by their absence. + +"On making inquiries into the state and management of this property, +I found Hickman actuated by that fine spirit of gentlemanly delicacy, +which every one, rich and poor, attribute to him. M'Clutchy having +succeeded him, he very politely declined to enter into the subject +at any length, but told me that I could be at no loss in receiving +authentic information on a subject so much and so painfully canvassed. +I find it is a custom in this country for agents to lend money to their +employers, especially when they happen to be in a state of considerable +embarrassment, by which means the unfortunate landlord is seldom able +to discharge or change his agent, should he misconduct himself; and is +consequently saddled with a vampire probably for life, or while there is +any blood to be got out of him. Hickman, who has other agencies, makes +it a point of principle, never to lend money to a landlord, by which +means he avoids those imputations which are so frequently and justly +brought against those who trade upon the embarrassments of their +employers, in order to get them into their power. + +"May 13.--There are two newspapers in the town of Castle Cumber, +conducted upon opposite principles: one of them is called _The Castle +Cumber True Blue_, and is the organ of the Orange Tory party, and the +High Church portion of the Establishment. The other advocates the cause +of the Presbyterians, Dissenters, and gives an occasional lift to the +Catholics. There is also a small party here, which, however, is gaining +ground every day, called the Evangelical, an epithet adopted for the +purpose of distinguishing them from the mere worldly and political High +Churchmen, who, together with all the loyalty and wealth, have +certainly all the indifference to religion, and most of the secular and +ecclesiastical corruptions that have disgraced the Church, and left it +little better than a large mass of bribes in the hands of the English +minister. In such a state of things, you may judge how that rare grace, +piety, is rewarded. There is, besides, no such thing to be found in +this country as an Irish bishop, nor, is a bishop ever appointed for his +learning or his piety; on the contrary, the unerring principle of their +elevation to the mitre, is either political, or family influence, or +both. I wish I could stop here but I cannot; there are, unfortunately, +still more flagitious motives for their appointment. English ministers +have been found who were so strongly influenced by respect for the +religion and Church Establishment of the Irish, that they have not +blushed to promote men, who were the convenient instruments of their +own profligacy, to some of the richest sees in the kingdom. But I am +travelling out of my record; so to return. The name of the second paper +is the _Genuine Patriot, and Castle Cumber Equivocal_; this last journal +is, indeed, sorely distressed between the Catholic and Evangelical +parties. The fact is, that the Evangelicals entertain such a horror of +Popery, as a spiritual abomination, that they feel highly offended that +their advocates should also be the advocate of Old Broadbottom, as the +Orangemen call the Pope; in consequence, they say, of his sitting upon +seven hills. The editors of these papers are too decidedly opposed +in general, to be on bad terms with each other; or, to speak more +intelligibly, they are not on the same side, and consequently do not +hate each other as they ought and would. The town of Castle Cumber, like +every other country town, is one mass of active and incessant scandal; +and, it not infrequently happens that the _True Blue_ will generously +defend an individual on the opposite side, and the _Genuine Patriot_ +fight for a High Churchman. The whole secret of this, however is, +that it is the High Churchman who writes in the _Patriot_, and the +Evangelical in the _True Blue_, each well knowing that a defence by +an opposing paper is worth more than one by his favorite organ. In the +instance I am about to specify, however, the case was otherwise, each +paper adhering to the individual of his own principles. On taking up the +_True Blue_ I read the following passage, to which I have fortunately +obtained a key that will make the whole matter quite intelligible. The +article was headed:-- + +"Susanna and the Elder; or the Conventicle in trouble. + +"'For some time past we regret, sincerely regret, as Christian men, that +a rumor has, by degrees, been creeping into circulation, which we trust +is, like most rumors of the kind, without foundation. The reputation +of a very pious professional gentleman, well known for his zeal and +activity in the religious world, is said to be involved in it, but, we +trust, untruly. The gentleman in question, has, we know, many enemies; +and we would fain hope, that this is merely some evil device fabricated +by the adversaries of piety and religion. The circumstances alluded +to are briefly these: Susanna, says the evil tongue of rumor, was a +religious young person, residing in the character of children's maid in +the family. She was of decided piety, and never known to be absent +from morning and evening worship; it seems, besides, that she is +young, comely, and very agreeable, indeed, to the mere, secular eye her +symmetry had been remarkable, but indeed female graces are seldom long +lived; she is not now, it seems, in the respectable gentleman's family +alluded to, and her friends are anxious to see her, but cannot. So the +idle story goes, but we hesitate not to say that it originates in the +vindictive malice of some concealed enemy, who envies the gentleman +in question his pure and unsullied reputation. We would not ourselves +advert to it at all, but that we hope it may meet his eye, and prompt +him to take the earliest measures to contradict and refute it, as we are +certain he will and can do.' + +"This was all exceedingly kind, and certainly so very charitable that +the Equivocal could not, with any claim to Christian principles, suffer +itself to be outdone in that blessed spirit of brotherly love and +forgiveness, which, it trusted, always characterized its pages. + +"'We are delighted,' it said, 'at the mild and benevolent tone in which, +under the common misconception, a little anecdote, simple and harmless +in itself, was uttered. Indeed, we smiled--but we trust the smile +was that of a Christian--on hearing our respected and respectable +contemporary doling out the mistake of a child, with such an air +of solemn interest in the reputation of a gentleman whose name and +character are beyond the reach of either calumny or envy. The harmless +misconception on which, by a chance expression, the silly rumor was +founded, is known to all the friends of the gentleman in question. He +himself, however, being one of those deep-feeling Christians, who are +not insensible to the means which often resorted to, for wise purposes, +in order to try us and prove our faith, is far from looking on the +mistake--as, in the weakness of their own strength, many would as a +thing to be despised and contemned. No; he receives it as a warning, +it may be for him to be more preciously alive to his privileges, and to +take care when he stands lest he might fall. Altogether, therefore, he +receives this thing as an evidence that he is cared for, and that it is +his duty to look upon it as an awakening of his, perhaps, too worldly +and forgetful spirit, to higher and better duties; and if so, then will +it prove a blessing unto him, and will not have been given in vain. We +would not, therefore, be outdone even in charity by our good friend of +the _True Blue_; and we remember that when about six months ago, he was +said to have been found in a state scarcely compatible with sobriety, +in the channel of Castle Cumber main street, opposite the office door of +the Equivocal, on his way home from an Orange lodge, we not only aided +him, as was our duty, but we placed the circumstance in its proper +light--a mere giddiness in the head, accompanied by a total prostration +of physical strength, to both of which even the most temperate, and +sober, are occasionally liable. The defect of speech, accompanied by +a strong tendency to lethargy, we accounted for at the time, by a +transient cessation or paralysis of the tongue, and a congestion of +blood on the brain, all of which frequently attack persons of the +soberest habits. Others might have said it was intoxication, or +drunkenness, and so might his character have been injured; but when his +incapacity to stand was placed upon its proper footing, the matter was +made perfectly clear, and there was, consequently, no doubt about it. So +easy is it to distort a circumstance, that is harmless and indifferent +in itself, into a grievous fault, especially where there is not +Christian charity to throw a cloak over it.' + +"'Such is a specimen of two paragraphs--one from each paper; and +considering that the subject was a delicate one, and involving; the +character of a professor, we think it was as delicately handled on both +sides as possible. I am told it is to be publicly alluded to to-morrow +in the congregation of which the subject of it, a Mr. Solomon M'Slime, +an attorney, is an elder--a circumstance which plainly accounts for the +heading of the paragraph in the True Blue. + +"There were, however, about a week or ten days ago, a couple of +paragraphs in the _True Blue_--which, by the way, is Mr. M'Clutchy's +favorite paper--of a very painful description. There is a highly +respectable man here, named M'Loughlin--and you will please to observe, +my dear Spinageberd, that this M'Loughlin is respected and well spoken +of by every class and party; remember that, I say. This man is a partner +with a young fellow named Harman, who is also very popular with parties. +Harman, it seems, was present at some scene up in the mountains, where +M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, as they are called, from their ferocity when +on duty, had gone to take a man suspected for murder. At all events, one +of the blood-hounds in the straggle--for they were all armed, as they +usually are--lost his life by the discharge--said to be accidental, +but sworn to be otherwise, before Mr. Magistrate M'Clutchy--of a loaded +carbine. He was to have been tried at the assizes which have just +terminated; but his trial has been postponed until the next assizes, +it is said for want of sufficient evidence. Be this as it may, it seems +that M'Loughlin's beautiful daughter was soon to have been married +to her father's young partner, now in prison. The unfortunate girl, +however, manifested the frailty of her sex: for while her former lover +was led to suppose that he possessed all the fulness of her affection, +she was literally carrying on a private and guilty intrigue with one of +the worst looking scoundrels that ever disgraced humanity--I mean Phil, +as he is called, only son to Valentine M'Clutchy--who, by the way, goes +among the people under the sobriquet of Val the Vulture. I need not say +what the effects of this young woman's dishonor have produced upon +her family. Young M'Clutchy was seen by several to go into her own +apartment, and was actually found striving to conceal himself there by +his father's blood-hounds who had received information that M'Loughlin +had fire-arms in his house. The consequence is, that the girl's +reputation is gone for ever. 'Tis true the verdict against her is not +unanimous. There is a woman, named Poll Doolin, mentioned, who bears a +most unrelenting enmity against M'Loughlin and his family, for having +transported one of her sons. She is said to have been the go-between +on this occasion, and that the whole thing is a cowardly and diabolical +plot between this Phil--whom the girl, it seems, refused to marry +before--and herself. I don't know how this may be; but the damning fact +of this ugly scoundrel having been seen to go into her room, with her +own consent, and being found there, attempting to conceal himself, by +his father's cavalry, overweighs, in my opinion, anything that can +be said in her favor. As it is, the family are to be pitied, and she +herself, it seems, is confined to her bed with either nervous or brain +fever, I don't know which--but the disclosure of the intrigue has +had such an effect upon her mind, that it is scarcely thought she will +recover it. Every one who knew her is astonished at it; and what adds to +the distress of her and her family is, that Harman, whose cousin was +an eye-witness to the fact of her receiving Phil into her chamber, has +written both to her and them, and that henceforth he renounces her for +ever. + +"There have also been strong rumors touching the insolvency of the firm +of M'Loughlin and Harman, and, it is to be feared, that this untoward +exposure will injure them even in a worldly point of view. In the _True +Blue_ there are two paragraphs of the following stamp--paragraphs that +certainly deserve to get the ears of those who either wrote or published +them cropped off their heads. + +"Unprecedented Feat of Gallantry and Courage! + +"Public rumor has already exonerated us from the delicacy which would +otherwise have restrained our pen from alluding to a feat of gallantry +and courage performed by a young gentleman who does not live a hundred +miles from Constitution Cottage. It seems that a _laison_ once subsisted +between him and a young lady of great personal attractions, and, at +that time, supposed (erroneously) to be entitled to a handsome dowry, +considering that the fair creature worships at the Mallet Office, and +bestows, in the exercise of her usual devotion, some soft blows upon +her fair, but not insensible bosom. Our readers will understand us. The +young gentleman in question, however, hearing that the lady had been +recently betrothed to a partner of her father's, prompted by that spirit +of gallant mischief or dare-devilism for which he is so remarkable, did, +under very dangerous circumstances, actually renew his intimacy, and +had several stolen, and, consequently, sweet meetings with the charming +creature. This, however, reached his father's ears, who, on proper +information, despatched a troop of his own cavalry to bring the young +gentleman home--and so accurate was the intelligence received, that, +on reaching her father's house, they went directly to the young lady's +chamber, from which they led out the object of their search, after +several vain but resolute attempts to exclude them from his bower +of love. This unfortunate discovery has occasioned a great deal of +embarrassment in the family, and broken up the lady's intended marriage +with her father's partner. But what strikes us, is the daring courage of +the hero who thus gallantly risked life and limb, rather than that the +lady of his love should pine in vain. Except Leander's, of old, we know +of no such feat of love and gallantry in these degenerate days.' + +"This other is equally malignant and vindictive + +"'Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. + +"'We shall be very happy, indeed exceedingly so, to contradict +an unpleasing rumor, affecting the solvency of our respected +fellow-townsmen, Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. We. do not ourselves +give any credit to such rumors; but how strange, by the way, that such +an expression should drop from our pen on such a subject? No, we +believe them to be perfectly solvent; or, if we err in supposing so, we +certainly err in the company of those on whose opinions, we, in general, +are disposed to rely. We are inclined to believe, and we think, that for +the credit of so respectable a firm, it is our duty to state it, that +the rumor affecting their solvency has been mistaken for another of an +almost equally painful character connected with domestic life, which, +by the unhappy attachment of ****** to a young gentleman of a different +creed, and proverbially loyal principles, has thrown the whole family +into confusion and distress.' + +"These, my dear Spinageberd, are the two paragraphs, literally +transcribed, from the True Blue, and I do not think it necessary to +add any comment to them. On tomorrow I have resolved to attend the +Dissenting Chapel, a place of worship where I have never yet been, and +I am anxious, at all events, to see what the distinctions are between +their mode of worship and that of the Church of Englandism. Besides, +to admit the truth, I am also anxious to see how this Solomon--this +religious attorney, whose person I well know--will deport himself under +circumstances which assuredly would test the firmness of most men, +unless strongly and graciously sustained, as they say themselves." + + + + +CHAPTER XVI.--Solomon in Trouble + +--Is Publicly Prayed for--His Gracious Deliverance, and Triumph--An +Orangeman's View of Protestantism and of Popery--Phil's Discretion and +Valor. + + +"Monday, half-past eleven o'clock. + +"My Dear Spinageberd: + +"In pursuance of my intention, I attended the Castle Cumber +Meeting-house yesterday, and must confess that I very much admire the +earnest and unassuming simplicity of the dissenting ritual. They have +neither the epileptical rant nor goatish impulses of the Methodists, +nor the drowsy uniformity from which not all the solemn beauty of the +service can redeem the Liturgy of the Church of England. In singing, the +whole congregation generally take a part--a circumstance which, however +it may impress their worship with a proof of sincerity, certainly adds +nothing to its melody. + +"The paragraph of 'Susanna and the' Elder' having taken wind, little +Solomon, as they call him, attended his usual seat, with a most unusual +manifestation of grace and unction beaming from his countenance. He +was there early; and before the service commenced he sat with his hands +locked in each other, their palms up, as was natural, but his eyes cast +down, in peaceful self-communion, as was evident from the divine and +ecstatic smile with which, from time to time, he cast up his enraptured +eyes to heaven, and sighed--sighed with an excess of happiness which was +vouchsafed to but few, or, perhaps, for those depraved and uncharitable +sinners who had sent abroad such an ungodly scandal against a champion +of the faith. At all events, at the commencement of the service, the +minister--a rather jolly-looking man, with a good round belly apparently +well lined--read out of a written paper, the following short address to +those present:-- + +"'The prayers of this congregation are requested for one of its most +active and useful members, who is an elder thereof. They are requested +to enable him to fight the good fight, under the sore trials of a wicked +world which have come upon him in the shape of scandal. But inasmuch as +these dispensations are dealt out to us often for our soul's good and +ultimate comfort, the individual in question doth not wish you to pray +for a cessation of this, he trusts, benign punishment. He receives it +as a token--a manifestation that out of the great congregation of the +faithful that inherit the church, he--an erring individual--a frail +unit, is not neglected nor his spiritual concerns overlooked. He +therefore doth not wish you to say, "cease Lord, this evil unto this +man," but yea, rather to beseech, that if it be for his good, it may +be multiplied unto him, and that he may feel it is good for him to be +afflicted. Pray, therefore, that he may be purged by this tribulation, +and that like those who were placed in the furnace, nine times heated, +he may come out without a hair of his head singed--unhurt and rejoicing, +ready again to fight the good fight, with much shouting, the rattling of +chariots, and the noise of triumph and victory.' + +"During the perusal of this all eyes were turned upon Solomon, whose +face was now perfectly seraphic, and his soul wrapped up into the ninth +heaven. Of those around him it was quite clear that he was altogether +incognizant. His eyelids were down as before, but the smile on his face +now was a perfect glory; it was unbroken, and the upturning of the +eyes proceeded from, and could be, nothing less than a glimpse of that +happiness which no other eye ever had seen but that of Solomon's at +that moment, and which, it was equally certain, no heart but his could +conceive. When it was concluded the psalm commenced, and if there had +been any doubt before, there could be none now that his triumph was +great, and the victory over the world and his enemies obtained, whilst a +fresh accession of grace was added to that which had been vouchsafed him +before. He led the psalm now with a fervor of spirit and fulness of lung +which had never been heard in the chapel before; nay, he moved both head +and foot to the time, as if he had only to wish it, and he could ascend +at once to heaven. This, indeed, was a victory, this was a moment of +rejoicing--here was the Christian soldier rattling home in his triumphal +chariot, to the sound of the trumpet, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer. + +"When the service was over he shook hands with as many of his friends as +he could, exclaiming, 'oh, what a blessed day has this been to me! what +a time of rejoicing; indeed it is good to be tried. Truly the sources of +comfort were opened to my soul on this day more abundantly than I dared +to hope for--I feel my privileges more strongly, and more of the new man +within me--I am sustained and comforted, and feel that it was good for +me to be here this day--I did not hope for this, but it was graciously +granted to me, notwithstanding. How good, how heavenly a thing it is to +be called upon to suffer, especially when we are able to do so in faith +and obedience. May He be praised for all. Amen! Amen!' + +"Now, my dear friend, who will say, after all this, that the stage is +the great school for actors? who ever saw on the boards of a theatre a +more finished performance than that of Solomon M'Slime? It so happens +that I am acquainted with the whole circumstances, and, consequently, +can fully appreciate his talents. In the mean time I am paying a visit +of business to M'Clutchy to-morrow, that I may have an opportunity of +a nearer inspection into his character. He is said to be an able, deep, +vindictive, and rapacious man--cowardly, but cruel--treacherous, but +plausible; and without the slightest remorse of conscience to restrain +him from the accomplishment of any purpose, no matter how flagitious. +And, yet, the cure for all this, in the eyes of his own party, is his +boundless loyalty, and his thorough Protestantism. No wonder the church +should be no longer useful or respected when she is supported only by +such Protestants as Valentine M'Clutchy, and his class." + + +"Thursday.--At a little after ten, I waited upon this, famous agent to +the Castle Cumber property, and found him in his office, looking over an +account-book with his son. He had a bad face--black, heavy, over-hanging +eyebrows, and an upper lip that quivers and gets pale when engaged even +in earnest conversation--his forehead is low, but broad and massive, +indicating the minor accessories of intellect, together with great +acuteness and cunning; altogether he had the head and face of a felon. +For purposes which you shall know hereafter, I declined presenting Lord +Cumber's letter of introduction, which I calculated would put the +fellow on his guard, deeming it, more prudent to introduce myself as a +stranger, anxious, if I could do so conveniently, to settle somewhere +in the neighborhood. The son's back was towards me when I entered, and +until he had finished the account at which he had been engaged, which +he did by a good deal of altering and erasing, he did not deem, it worth +while to look about him even at the entrance of a stranger. Having heard +me express my intention of looking for a residence in the vicinity, he +did me the honor of one of the most comical stares I ever saw. He is a +tall fellow, about six feet, his shoulders are narrow, but round as the +curve of a pot--his neck is, at least, eighteen inches in length, on the +top of which stands a head, somewhat of a three-cornered shape, like a +country barber's wig block, only not so intelligent looking. His nose is +short, and turned up a little at the top--his squint is awful, but then, +it is peculiar to himself; for his eyes, instead of looking around them +as such eyes do, appear to keep a jealous and vigilant watch of each +other across his nose--his chin is short and retreating, and from, his +wide mouth project two immeasurable buck teeth, that lie together like +a'pair of tiles upon a dog kennel. Heavens! that a beautiful girl--as +it is said everywhere Miss M'Loughlin is, and until now proverbially +correct in her conduct and deportment--should admit such a misshapen +kraken as this into her apartment, and at night, too! After having +stared at me for some time with a great deal of cunning and a great deal +of folly in his countenance, he again began to pore over the blank pages +of his book, as if he had been working out some difficult calculation. + +"'And,' said the father, after we had been chatting for some time, 'have +you seen anything in the neighborhood that you think would suit you?' + +"'I am too much of a stranger, sir,' I replied, 'to be able to answer in +the affirmative--but I admire the country and the scenery, both of +which in this immediate neighborhood, are extremely beautiful and +interesting.' + +"'They are so,' he replied, 'and the country is a fine one, certainly.' + +"'Ay,' said Phil, 'only for these cursed Papists.' + +"As he spoke he looked at me very significantly, and drew three of his +yellow fingers across his chin, but added nothing more. This, by the +way, he did half a dozen times, and, on mentioning the circumstance, it +has been suggested to me that it must have been the sign by which one +Orangeman makes himself known to another. + +"'The Papists,' I replied, 'do not enter into any objection of mine +against a residence in the neighborhood; but, as you, Mr. M'Clutchy, as +agent of this fine property, must be well acquainted with the state +and circumstances of the country, you would really confer a favor by +enabling me, as a stranger, to form correct impressions of the place and +people.' + +"'Then,' said he, 'in the first place allow me to ask what are your +politics? As an Englishman, which I perceive you are by your accent--I +take it for granted that you are a Protestant.' + +"'I am a Protestant, certainly,' I replied, 'and a Church of England +one.' + +"'Ay, but that's not enough,' said Phil, 'that won't do, my good sir; +d--n my honor if it would be worth a fig in this country.' + +"'I am very ignorant of Irish politics, I admit,' said I, 'but, I trust, +I am in good hands for the receipt of sound information on the subject.' + +"'No, no,' continued Phil, 'that's nothing--to be a mere Church of +England man, or a Church of Ireland man either, would never do here, I +tell you. Upon my honor, but that's doctrine.' + +"'Well, but what would do,' I inquired; for I certainly felt a good deal +of curiosity to know what he was coming to. + +"'The great principle here,' said the son, 'is to hate and keep down the +Papists, and you can't do that properly unless you're an Orangeman. Hate +and keep down the Papists, that's the true religion, I pledge you my +honor and reputation it is.' + +"'You put the principle too strong, and rather naked, Phil,' observed +the father; 'but the truth is, sir,' he added, turning to me, 'that you +may perceive that fine spirit of Protestant enthusiasm in the young man, +which is just now so much wanted in, and so beneficial to the country +and the government. We must, sir, make allowance for this in the +high-spirited and young, and ardent; but, still, after deducting a +little for zeal and enthusiasm, he has expressed nothing but truth--with +the exception, indeed, that we are not bound to hate them, Phil; on the +contrary, we are bound to love our enemies.' + +"'Beggingyour pardon, father, I say we are bound to hate them.' + +"'Why, so, sir, may I ask,' said I. + +"'Why so--why because--because--they--because as--aren't they Papists, +and is not that sufficient--and, again, here's another reason still +stronger, aren't we Orangemen? Now, sir, did you, or any one, even hear +of such a thing as a good, sound Orangeman loving a Papist--a bloody +Papist. My word and honor, but that's good!' + +"'The truth is,' said the father, 'that the turbulence of their +principles has the country almost ripe for insurrection. I have myself +received above half a dozen notices, and my son there, as many; some +threatening life, others property, and I suppose the result will be, +that I must reside for safety in the metropolis. My house is this moment +in a state of barricade--look at my windows, literally checkered with +stancheon bars--and as for arms, let me see, we have six blunderbusses, +eight cases of pistols, four muskets, two carbines, with a variety of +side arms, amounting to a couple of dozen. Such, sir, is the state of +the country, owing, certainly, as my son says, to the spirit of Popery, +and to the fact of my discharging my duty toward Lord Cumber with +fidelity and firmness! + +"'In that case,' I observed, 'there is little to induce any man +possessing some property to reside here.' + +"'Certainly nothing,' he replied, 'but a great many inducements to get +out of it.' + +"'Does Lord Cumber ever visit his property here?' I asked. + +"'He has too much sense,' returned the agent; 'but now that parliament +is dissolved, he will come over to the Election. We must return either +him or his brother the Hon. Dick Topertoe, who, I understand, has no +fixed principles whatsoever.' + +"'But why return such a man? Why not put up and support one of your own +way of thinking?' + +"'Why, because in the first place, we must keep out Hartley, who is +a liberal, and also an advocate for emancipating Popery; and, in the +second, if it be bad to have no principles, like Topertoe, it is worse +to have bad ones like Hartley. He'll do to stop a gap until we get +better, and then unless he comes round, we'll send him adrift.' + +"'Is he in Ireland? I mean does he reside in the country?' + +"'Not he, sir; it seems he's a wayward devil, very different from the +rest of the family--and with none of the dash and spirit of the Topertoe +blood in him.' + +"'In that case, he will be no great loss; but Mr. M'Clutchy, +notwithstanding all you have said I am so much charmed with the beauty +of the country, that I would gladly settle in the neighborhood, if I +could procure a suitable residence, together with a good large farm, +which I would rent. Is there anything in that way vacant on the estate?' + +"'At present, sir, nothing; but it is possible there may be, and if you +should remain in the country, I shall feel great pleasure in acquainting +you.' + +"'Because I was told,' I continued, 'that there are two large farms, +either of which would suit me admirably; but I dare say I have been +misinformed. I allude to Mr. M'Loughlin's and Herman's holdings, which I +understand are out of lease.' + +"'Yes,' said he, sighing, 'I am sorry for those men; but the truth is, +my good sir, that in this affair I am not a free agent. Lord Cumber, +in consequence of some very accurate information that reached him, has +determined to put them out of their holdings, now that their leases +have expired. I am, you know, but his agent, and cannot set up my will +against his.' + +"'But could you not take their part?--could you not remonstrate with +him, and set him right, rather than see injustice done to innocent men?' + +"'You surely cannot imagine, sir, that I have not done so. Earnestly, +indeed, have I begged of him to reconsider his orders, and to withdraw +them; but like all the Topertoes, he is as obstinate as a mule. The +consequence is, however, that whilst the whole blame of the transaction +is really his, the odium will fall upon me, as it always does.' + +"Here Phil, the son, who had been for the last few minutes paring away +the pen with his knife, gave a sudden yelp, not unlike what a hound +would utter when he gets an unexpected cut of the whip. It was certainly +meant for a laugh, as I could perceive by the frightful grin which drew +back his lips I from his yellow projecting tusks, as his face appeared +to me in the looking-glass--a fact which he seemed to forget. + +"'Then, Mr. M'Clutchy, the farms of these men, are they disposed of?' + +"'They are disposed of; and, indeed, in any event, I could not, in +justice to the landlord's interests, receive the offers which M'Loughlin +and Harman made me. My son here, who, as under agent feels it necessary +to reside on the property, and who is about to take unto himself a wife +besides, has made me a very liberal offer for M'Loughlin's holding--one, +indeed, which I did not feel myself at liberty to refuse. Mr. M'Slime, +our respected law agent, I also considered a very proper tenant for +Harman's; and that matter is also closed--by which means I secured two +respectable, safe, and unobjectionable tenants, on whose votes, at all +events, we can reckon, which was more than we could do with the other +two--both of whom had expressed their determination to vote in favor of +Hartley.' + +"'What are the religious opinions of those men, Mr. M'Clutchy?' + +"'M'Loughlin is a Papist--' + +"'But Harman is worse,' interrupted Phil; 'for he's a Protestant, and no +Orangeman.' + +"'I thought,' I replied, 'that nothing could be so bad as a Papist, much +less worse.' + +"'Oh yes,' said Phil, 'that's worse; because one always knows that +a Papist's a Papist--but when you find a Protestant who is not an +Orangeman, on my sacred honor, you don't know what to make of him. The +Papists are all cowards, too.' + +"'Then,' said I, 'you have the less difficulty in keeping them down.' + +"'Upon my soul and honor, sir, you don't know how a naked Papist will +run from a gun and bayonet. I have often seen it.' + +"At this moment a tap came to the door, and a servant man, in Orange +livery, announced a gentleman to see Mr. Philip M'Clutchy. I rose to +take my departure; but Phil insisted I should stop. + +"'Don't go, sir,' said he; 'I have something to propose to you by and +by.' I accordingly took my seat. + +"When the gentleman entered, he looked about, and selecting Phil, bowed +to him, and then to us. + +"'Ah, Mr. Hartley! how do you do?' said Val, shaking hands with him; +'and how is your cousin, whom we hope to have the pleasure of beating +soon?--ha, ha, ha. Take a seat.' + +"'Thank you,'said the other; 'but the fact is, that time's just now +precious, and I wish to have a few words with Mr. Philip here.' + +"'What is it, Hartley? How are you, Hartley? I'm glad to see you.' + +"'Quite well, Phil; but if you have no objection, I would rather speak +to you in another room. It's a matter of some importance, and of some +delicacy, too.' + +"'Oh, curse the delicacy, man; out with it.' + +"'I really cannot, Phil, unless by ourselves.' + +"They both then withdrew to the back parlor, where, after a period of +about ten minutes, Phil came rushing in with a face on him, and in a +state of trepidation utterly indescribable; Hartley, on the other hand, +cool and serious, following him. + +"'Phil,' said he, 'think of what you are about to do. Don't exclude +yourself hereafter from the rank and privileges of a gentleman. +Pause, if you respect yourself, and regard your reputation as a man of +courage.' + +"'D----d fine talk in you--who--who's a fire-eater, Hartley. What do +you think, father--?' Hartley put, or rather attempted to put his hand +across his mouth, to prevent his cowardly and degrading communication; +but in vain. 'What do you think, father,' he continued, 'but there's +that cowardly scoundrel, young M'Loughlin, has sent me a challenge? +Isn't the country come to a pretty pass, when a Papist durst do such a +thing?' + +"'Why not a Papist?' said Hartley. 'Has not a Papist flesh, and blood, +and bones, like another man? Is a Papist to be insensible to insult? Is +he to sit down tamely and meanly under disgrace and injury? Has he no +soul to feel the dignity of just resentment? Is he not to defend his +sister, when her character has been basely and treacherously ruined? Is +he to see her stretched on her death-bed, by your villainy, and not to +avenge her? By heavens, if, under the circumstances of the provocation +which you gave him, and his whole family, he would be as mean and +cowardly a poltroon as I find you to be--if he suffered--' + +"'Do you call me a poltroon?' said Phil, so shivering and pale, that his +voice betrayed his cowardice. + +"'Yes,' said the other, 'as arrant a poltroon as ever I met. I tell +you, you must either fight him, or publish a statement of your own +unparalleled disgrace. Don't think you shall get out of it.' + +"'I tell you, sir,' said Val, 'that he shall not fight him. I would not +suffer a son of mine to put himself on a level with such a person as +young M'Loughlin.' + +"'On a level with him he never will be, for no earthly advantage could +raise him to it; but pray, Mr. M'Clutchy, who are you?' + +"'Val's brow fell, and his lip paled and quivered, as the fine young +fellow looked him steadily in the face. + +"'Never mind him, father,' said Phil 'you know he's a fire-eater.' + +"'There is no use in altercations of this sort,' replied Val, calmly. +'As for young M'Loughlin, or old M'Loughlin, if they think themselves +injured, they have the laws of the land to appeal to for redress. As for +us, we will fight them with other weapons besides pistols and firearms.' + +"'D---- my honor,' said, Phil, 'if I'd stoop to fight any Papist. Aren't +they all rebels? And what gentleman would fight a rebel?' + +"'Honor!' exclaimed Hartley; 'don't profane that sacred word--I can have +no more patience with such a craven-hearted rascal, who could stoop to +such base revenge against the unsullied reputation of a virtuous and +admirable girl, because she spurned your scoundrelly addresses.' + +"'He never paid his addresses to her,' said Val;--'never.' + +"'No I didn't,'said Phil. 'At any rate I never had any notion of +marrying her.' + +"'You are a dastardly liar, sir,' responded Hartley. 'You know you had. +How can your father and you look each other in the face, when you say +so?' + +"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater: so you may say what you +like.' + +"'Didn't your father, in your name, propose for her upon some former +occasion, in the fair of Castle Cumber, and he remembers the answer he +got.' + +"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater; that's all I have to say to +you.' + +"'And now, having ruined her reputation by a base and cowardly plot +concocted with a wicked old woman, who would blast the whole family if +she could, because M'Loughlin transported her felon son; you, now, +like a paltry clown as you are, skulk out of the consequences of your +treachery, and refuse to give satisfaction for the diabolical injury you +have inflicted on the whole family.' + +"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater.' + +"'You forget,' said Val, 'that I am a magistrate, and what the +consequences may be to yourself for carrying a hostile message.' + +"'Ah,' said Hartley, 'you are a magistrate, and shame on the government +that can stoop to the degradation of raising such rascals as you are to +become dispensers of justice; it is you and the like of you, that are a +curse to the country. As for you, Phil M'Clutchy, I now know, and always +suspected, the stuff you are made of. You are a disgrace to the very +Orangemen you associate with; for they are, in general, brave fellows, +although too often cruel and oppressive when hunted on and stimulated by +such as you and your rascally upstart of a father.' + +"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.' + +"'I now leave you both,' continued the young Hotspur, with a blazing +eye and flushed cheek, 'with the greatest portion of scorn and contempt +which one man can bestow upon another.' + +"'Go off,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.' + +"'Phil,' said the father, 'send for M'Murt, and let him get the +ejectments from M'Slime--we shall not, at all events, be insulted and +bearded by Papists, or their emissaries, so long as I can clear one of +them off the estate.' + +"'But, good God, Mr. M'Clutchy, surely these other Papists you speak of, +have not participated in the offences, if such they are, of M'Loughlin +and Harman.' + +"'Ay, but they're all of the same kidney,' said Phil; 'they hate us +because we keep them down.' + +"'And what can be more natural than that?' I observed; 'just reverse the +matter--suppose they were in your place, and kept you down, would you +love them for it?' + +"'Why, what kind of talk is that,' said Phil, 'they keep us down! Are +they not rebels?' + +"'You observed,' I replied, getting tired of this sickening and +senseless bigotry, 'that you wished to make a proposal of some kind to +me before I went.' + +"'Yes,' he replied, 'I wished, if it be a thing that you remain in the +neighborhood, to propose that you should become an Orangeman, and join +my father's lodge. You say you want a farm on the estate; now, if +you do, take my advice and become an Orangeman; you will then have a +stronger claim, for my father always gives them the preference.' + +"'By Lord Cumber's desire, Phil; but I shall be very happy, indeed, +sir,' proceeded Val, 'that is, provided you get an introduction--for, at +present, you will pardon me for saying we are strangers.' + +"'I should first wish to witness the proceedings of an Orange Lodge,' +I said, 'but I suppose that, of course, is impossible, unless to the +initiated.' + +"'Certainly, of course,' said M'Clutchy. + +"'But, father,' said Phil, 'couldn't we admit him after the business of +the lodge is concluded.' + +"'It is not often done,' replied the father; 'but it sometimes +is--however, we shall have the pleasure, Mr. Easel--(I forgot to say +that I had sent in my card, so that he knew my name),--we shall have the +pleasure of a better acquaintance, I trust.' + +"'I tell you what,' said Phil, leaping off his chair, 'd---n my honor, +but I was wrong to let young Hartley go without a thrashing. The +cowardly scoundrel was exceedingly insulting.' + +"'No, no, Phil,' said the father; 'you acted with admirable coolness and +prudence.' + +"'I tell you I ought to have kicked the rascal out,' said Phil, getting +into a passion; 'I'll follow him and teach the impudent vagabond a +lesson he wants.' + +"He seized his hat, and buttoned up his coat, as if for combat, whilst +he spoke. + +"'Phil, be quiet,' said his father, rising up and putting his arms about +him; 'be quiet now. There will be no taming him down, if his spirit +gets up,' said Val, addressing me; 'for all our sakes, Phil, keep quiet +and sit down. Good heaven! the strength of him! Phil, keep quiet, I say, +you shan't go after him.' + +"'Let me go,' shouted the other; 'let me go, I say. I will smash him +to atoms. Upon my honor and reputation, he shall not escape me this +way--I'll send him home a hoop--a triangle--a zoologist. I'll beat him +into mustard, the cowardly scoundrel! And only you were a magistrate, +father, I would have done it before you. Let me go, I say--the M'Clutchy +blood is up in me! Father, you're a scoundrel if you hold me! You +know what a lion I am--what a raging lion, when roused. Hands off, +M'Clutchy, I say, when you know I'm a thunderbolt.' + +"The tugging and pulling that took place here between the father and son +were extraordinary, and I could not in common decency decline assisting +the latter to hold him in. I consequently lent him my aid seriously; but +this only made things worse:--the more he was held, the more violent and +outrageous he became. He foamed at the mouth--stormed--swore--and tore +about with such vehemence, that I really began to think the fellow was a +dull flint, which produced, fire slowly, but that there was fire in +him. The struggle still proceeded, and we pulled and dragged each other +through every part of the house:--chairs, and tables, and office-stools +were all overturned--and Phil's cry was still for war. + +"It's all to no purpose,' he shouted--'I'll not leave an unbroken bone +in that scoundrel Hartley's body.' + +"'I know you wouldn't, if you got at him,' said Val. 'He would certainly +be the death of him,' he added aside tome; 'he would give him some fatal +blow, and that's what I'm afraid of.' + +"Phil was now perfectly furious--in fact he resembled a drunken man, and +might have passed for such. + +"'Hartley, you scoundrel, where are you, till I make mummy of you?' he +shouted. + +"'Here I am,' replied Hartley, entering' the room, walking up to him, +and looking him sternly in the face--'here I am--what's your will with +me?' + +"So comic a paralysis was, perhaps, never witnessed. Phil stood +motionless, helpless, speechless. The white cowardly froth rose to +his lips, his color became ashy, his jaw fell, he shook, shrunk into +himself, and gasped for breath--his eyes became hollow, his squint +deepened, and such was his utter prostration of strength, that his very +tongue lolled out with weakness, like that of a newly dropped calf, when +attempting to stand for the first time. At length he got out-- + +"'Hold! I believe, I'll restrain myself; but only my father's a +magistrate------' + +"'Your father's a scoundrel, and you are another,' said Hartley; 'and +here's my respect for you.' + +"Whilst speaking, he caught Phil by the nose with one hand, and also by +the collar of his coat with the other, and in this position led him, in +a most comical way, round the room, after which he turned him about, +and inflicted a few vigorous kicks upon a part of him which must be +nameless. + +"'I am not sorry,' said he, 'that I forgot my note-case in the other +room, as it has given me an opportunity of taming a raging lion so +easily.' + +"'Goon,' said Phil, whose language, as well as valor, was fairly +exhausted, 'it's well you're a fire-eater, and my father a magistrate, +or by my honor, I'd know how to deal with you.' + +"Such, my dear Spinageberd, is a domestic sketch of the Agent and Under +Agent of that exceedingly sapient nobleman, Lord Cumber; and if ever, +excellent landlord that he is, he should by any possible chance come +to see these lines, perhaps he might be disposed to think that an +occasional peep at his own property, and an examination into the +principles upon which it is managed, might open to him a new field of +action worth cultivating, even as an experiment not likely to end in any +injurious result to either him or it. In a day or two I shall call upon +Mr. Solomon M'Slime, with whom I am anxious to have a conversation, +as, indeed, I am with the leading characters on the property. You may +accordingly expect an occasional batch of observations from me, made +upon the spot, and fresh from my interviews with the individuals to whom +they relate." + + + + +CHAPTER XVII.--A Moral Survey, or a Wise Man led by a Fool + +--Marks of Unjust Agency--Reflections thereon--A Mountain Water-Spout, +and Rising of a Torrent--The Insane Mother over the Graves of her +Family--Raymond's Humanity--His Rescue from Death. + + +"Friday, * * * + +"I have amused myself--you will see how appropriate the word is by and +by--since my last communication, in going over the whole Castle +Cumber estate, and noting down the traces which this irresponsible +and rapacious oppressor, aided by his constables, bailiffs, and +blood-hounds, have left behind them. When I describe the guide into +whose hands I have committed myself, I am inclined to think you will +not feel much disposed to compliment me on my discretion;--the aforesaid +guide being no other than a young fellow, named _Raymond-na-Hattha_, +which means, they tell me, Raymond of the Hats--a sobriquet very +properly bestowed on him in consequence of a habit he has of always +wearing three or four hats at a time, one within the other--a +circumstance which, joined to his extraordinary natural height and great +strength, gives him absolutely a gigantic appearance. This Raymond is +the fool of the parish; but in selecting him for my conductor, I acted +under the advice of those who knew him better than I could. There +is not, in fact, a field or farm-house, or a cottage, within a +circumference of miles, which he does not know, and where he is not +also known. He has ever since his childhood evinced a most extraordinary +fancy for game cocks--an attachment not at all surprising, when it is +known that not only was his father, Morgan Monahan, the most celebrated +breeder and handler of that courageous bird--but his mother, Poll +Doolin--married women here frequently preserve, or are called by, their +maiden names through life--who learned it from her husband, was +equally famous for this very feminine accomplishment. Poor Raymond, +notwithstanding his privation, is, however, exceedingly shrewd in many +things, especially where he can make himself understood. As he speaks, +however, in unconnected sentences, in which there is put forth no more +than one phase of the subject he alludes to, or the idea he entertains, +it is unquestionably not an easy task to understand him without an +interpreter. He is singularly fond of children--very benevolent--and +consequently feels a degree of hatred and horror at anything in the +shape of cruelty or oppression, almost beyond belief, in a person +deprived of reason. This morning he was with me by appointment, about +half-past nine, and after getting his breakfast----but no matter--the +manipulation he exhibited would have been death to a dyspeptic patient, +from sheer envy--we sallied forth to trace this man, M'Clutchy, by +the awful marks of ruin, and tyranny, and persecution; for these words +convey the principles of what he hath left, and is leaving behind him. + +"'Now, Raymond,' said I, 'as you know the country well, I shall be +guided by you. I wish to see a place called Drum Dhu. Can you conduct +me there?' + +"'Ay!' he replied with surprise; 'Why! Sure there's scarcely anybody +there now. When we go on farther, we may look up, but we'll see no +smoke, as there used to be. 'Twas there young Torly Regan died on that +day--an' her, poor Mary--but they're all gone from her--and Hugh the +eldest is in England or America--but him--the youngest--he'll never +waken--and what will the poor mother do for his white head now that she +hasn't it to look at? No, he wouldn't waken, although I brought him the +cock.' + +"'Of whom are you speaking now, Raymond?' + +"'I'll tell you two things that's the same,' he replied; 'and I'll tell +you the man that has them both.' + +"'Let me hear, Raymond.' + +"'The devil's blessin' and God's curse;--sure they're the same--ha, +ha--there now--that's one. You didn't know that--no, no: you didn't.' + +"'And who is it that has them, Raymond?' + +"'M'Clutchy--Val the Vulture; sure 'twas he did that all, and is doin' +it still. Poor Mary!--Brian will never waken;--she'll never see his eyes +again, 'tany rate--nor his white head--oh! his white head! God ought to +kill Val, and I wondher he doesn't.' + +"'Raymond, my good friend,' said I, 'if you travel at this rate, I must +give up the journey altogether.' + +"The fact is, that when excited, as he was now by the topic in question, +he gets into what is termed a sling trot, which carries him on at +about six miles an hour, without ever feeling fatigued. He immediately +slackened his pace, and looked towards me, with a consciousness of +having forgotten himself and acted wrongly. + +"'Well, no,' said he, 'I won't; but sure I hate him.' + +"'Hate whom?' + +"'M'Clutchy--and that was it; for I always do it; but I won't again, for +you couldn't keep up wid me if I spoke about him.' + +"We then turned towards the mountains; and as we went along, the +desolate impresses of the evil agent began here and there to become +visible. On the road-side there were the humble traces of two or three +cabins, whose little hearths had been extinguished, and whose walls were +levelled to the earth. The black fungus, the burdock, the nettle, and +all those offensive weeds that follow in the train of oppression and +ruin were here; and as the dreary wind stirred them into sluggish +motion, and piped its melancholy wail through these desolate little +mounds, I could not help asking myself--if those who do these things +ever think that there is a reckoning in after life, where power, and +insolence, and wealth misapplied, and rancor, and pride, and rapacity, +and persecution, and revenge, and sensuality, and gluttony, will be +placed face to face with those humble beings, on whose rights and +privileges of simple existence they have trampled with such a selfish +and exterminating tread. A host of thoughts and reflections began to +crowd upon my mind; but the subject was too painful--and after avoiding +it as well as I could, we proceeded on our little tour of observation. + +"How easy it is for the commonest observer to mark even the striking +characters that are impressed on the physical features of an estate +which is managed by care and kindness--where general happiness and +principles of active industry are diffused through the people? And, +on the other hand, do not all the depressing symbols of neglect and +mismanagement present equally obvious exponents of their operation, upon +properties like this of Castle Cumber? On this property, it is not every +tenant that is allowed to have an interest in the soil at all, since the +accession of M'Clutchy. He has succeeded in inducing the head landlord +to decline granting leases to any but those who are his political +supporters--that is, who will vote for him or his nominee at an +election; or, in other words, who will enable him to sell both their +political privileges and his own, to gratify his cupidity or ambition, +without conferring a single advantage upon themselves. From those, +therefore, who have too much honesty to prostitute their votes to his +corrupt and selfish negotiations with power, leases are withheld, in +order that they may, with more becoming and plausible oppression, be +removed from the property, and the staunch political supporter brought +in in their stead. This may be all very good policy, but it is certainly +bad humanity, and worse religion, In fact, it is the practice of that +cruel dogma, which prompts us to sacrifice the principles of others to +our own, and to deprive them of the very privilege which we ourselves +claim--that of acting according to our conscientious impressions. 'Do +unto others,' says Mr. M'Clutchy and his class, as you would not wish +that others should do unto you.' How beautifully here is the practice +of the loud and headlong supporter of the Protestant Church, and its +political ascendancy, made to harmonize with the principles of that +neglected thing called the Gospel? In fact as we went along, it was easy +to mark, on the houses and farmsteads about us, the injustice of making +this heartless distinction. The man who felt himself secure and fixed by +a vested right in the possession of his tenement, had heart and motive +to work and improve it, undepressed by the consciousness that his +improvements to-day might be trafficked on by a wicked and unjust agent +tomorrow. He knows, that in developing all the advantages and good +qualities of the soil, he is not only discharging an important duty to +himself and his landlord, but also to his children's children after him; +and the result is, that the comfort, contentment, and self-respect which +he gains by the consciousness of his security, are evident at a glance +upon himself, his house, and his holding. On the other hand, reverse +this picture, and what is the consequence? Just what is here visible. +There is a man who may be sent adrift on the shortest notice, unless +he is base enough to trade upon his principles and vote against his +conscience. What interest has he in the soil, or in the prosperity of +his landlord? If he make improvements this year, he may see the landlord +derive all the advantages of them the next; or, what is quite as likely, +he may know that some Valentine M'Clutchy may put them in his +own pocket, and keep the landlord in the dark regarding the whole +transaction. What a bounty on dishonesty and knavery in an agent is +this? How unjust to the interest of the tenant, in the first place--in +the next to that of the landlord--and, finally, how destructive to the +very nature and properties of the soil itself, which rapidly degenerates +by bad and negligent culture, and. consequently becomes impoverished +and diminished in value. All this was evident as we went along. Here was +warmth, and wealth, and independence staring us in the face; there was +negligence, desponding struggle, and decline, conscious, as it were, of +their unseemly appearance, and anxious, one would think, to shrink away +from the searching eye of observation. + +"'But here again, Raymond; what have we here? There is a fine looking +farmhouse, evidently untenanted. How is that?' + +"'Ha, ha,' replied Raymond with a bitter smile, 'ha, ha! Let them take +it, and see what Captain Whiteboy will do? He has the possession--ha, +ha--an' who'll get him to give it up? Who dare take that, or any of +Captain Whiteboy's farms? But sure it's not, much--only a coal, a +rushlight, and a prod of a pike or a baynet--but I know who ought to +have them.' + +"The house in question was considerably dilapidated. Its doors were not +visible, and its windows had all been shivered. Its smokeless chimneys, +its cold and desolate appearance, together with the still more ruinous +condition of the outhouses, added to the utter silence which prevailed +about it, and the absence of every symptom of life and motion--all told +a tale which has left many a bloody moral to the country. The slaps, +gates, and enclosures were down--the hedges broken or cut away--the +fences trampled on and levelled to the earth--and nothing seemed to +thrive--for the garden was overrun with them--but the rank weeds already +alluded to, as those which love to trace the footsteps of ruin and +desolation, in order to show, as it were, what they leave behind them. +As we advanced, other and more startling proofs of M'Clutchy came in our +way--proofs which did not consist of ruined houses, desolate villages, +or roofless-cottages--but of those unfortunate persons, whose simple +circle of domestic life--whose little cares, and struggles, and sorrows, +and affections, formed the whole round of their humble existence, +and its enjoyments, as given them by Almighty God himself. All these, +however, like the feelings and affections of the manacled slave, were +as completely overlooked by those who turned them adrift, as if in +possessing such feelings, they had invaded a right which belonged +only to their betters, and which,the same betters, by the way, seldom +exercise either in such strength or purity as those whom they despise +and oppress. Aged men we met, bent, with years, and weighed down still +more by that houseless sorrow, which is found accompanying them along +the highways of life:--through its rugged solitudes and its dreariest +paths--in the storm and in the tempest--wherever they go--in want, +nakedness, and destitution--still at their side is that houseless +sorrow--pouring into their memories and their hearts the conviction, +which is most terrible to old age, that it has no home here but the +grave--no pillow on which to forget its cares but the dust. The sight +of these wretched old men, turned out from, the little holdings that +sheltered their helplessness, to beg a morsel, through utter charity, in +the decrepitude of life, was enough to make a man wish that he had +never been born to witness such a wanton abuse of that power which +was entrusted to man for the purpose of diffusing happiness instead of +misery. All these were known to Raymond, who, as far as he could, gave +me their brief and unfortunate history. That which showed us, however, +the heartless evils of the-clearance system in its immediate operation +upon the poorer classes, was the groups of squalid females who traversed +the country, accompanied by their pale and sickly looking children, all +in a state of mendicancy, and wofully destitute of clothing. The system +in this case being to deny their husbands employment upon the property, +in order to drive them, by the strong scourge of necessity, off it, the +poor men were compelled to seek it elsewhere, whilst their sorrowing and +heart-broken families were fain to remain and beg a morsel from those +who were best acquainted with the history of their expulsion, and who, +consequently, could yield to them and their little ones a more cordial +and liberal sympathy. After thus witnessing the consequences of bad +management, and worse feeling, in the shape of houses desolate, villages +levelled, farms waste, old age homeless, and feeble mothers tottering +under their weaker children--after witnessing, I say, all this, we came +to the village called Drum Dhu, being one of those out of which these +unhappy creatures were so mercilessly driven. + +"A village of this description is, to say the least of it, no credit to +the landed proprietors of any country. It is the necessary result of a +bad system. But we know that if the landlord paid the attention which +he ought to pay, to both the rights and duties of his property, a bad +system could never be established upon it. I am far from saying, indeed, +my dear Spinageberd, there are not cases in which the landlord finds +himself in circumstances of great difficulty. Bad, unprincipled, +vindictive, and idle tenants enough there are in this country--as I am +given to understand from those who know it best--plotting scoundrels, +who, like tainted sheep, are not only corrupt themselves, but +infect others, whom they bring along with themselves to their proper +destination, the gallows. Enough and too many of these there are to be +found, who are cruel without cause, and treacherous without provocation; +and this is evident, by the criminal records of the country, from +which it is clear that it is not in general the aggrieved man who takes +justice in his own hands, but the idle profligate I speak of now. Many +indeed of all these, it is an act due to public peace and tranquility to +dislodge from any and from every estate; but at the same time, it is not +just that the many innocent should suffer as well as the guilty few. To +return, however, to the landlord. It often happens, that when portions +of his property fall out of lease, he finds it over-stocked with a swarm +of paupers, who are not his tenants at all and never were--but who in +consequence of the vices of sub-letting, have multiplied in proportion +to the rapacity and extortion of middle-men, and third-men, and +fourth-men--and though last, not least, of the political exigencies +of the landlord himself, to serve whose purposes they were laboriously +subdivided off into tattered legions of fraud, corruption, and perjury. +Having, therefore, either connived at, or encouraged the creation of +thess creatures upon his property for corrupt purposes, is he justified, +when such a change in the elective franchise has occurred as renders +them of no political importance to him, in turning them out of their +little holdings, without aid or provision of some sort, and without +reflecting besides, that they are in this, the moment of their sorest +distress, nothing else than the neglected tools and forgotten victims of +his own ambition. Or can he be surprised, after hardening them into +the iniquity of half a dozen elections, that he finds fellows in their +number who would feel no more scruples in putting a bullet into him +from behind a hedge, than they would into a dog? Verily, my dear Simon +Spinageberd, the more I look into the political and civil education +which the people of Ireland have received, I am only surprised that +property in this country rests upon so firm and secure a basis as I find +it does. + +"On arriving at Drum Dhu, the spectacle which presented itself to us was +marked, not merely by the vestiges of inhumanity and bad policy, but by +the wanton insolence of sectarian spirit and bitter party feeling. +On some of the doors had been written with chalk or charcoal, "Clear +off--to hell or Connaught!" "Down with Popery!" "M'Clutchy's cavalry +and Ballyhack wreckers for ever!" In accordance with these offensive +principles most of all the smaller cottages and cabins had been +literally wrecked and left uninhabitable, in the violence of this bad +impulse, although at the present moment they are about to be re-erected, +to bear out the hollow promises that will be necessary for the +forthcoming election. The village was indeed a miserable and frightful +scene. There it stood, between thirty and forty small and humble +habitations, from which, with the exception of about five or six, all +the inmates had been dispossessed, without any consideration for age, +sex, poverty, or sickness. Nay, I am assured that a young man was +carried out during the agonies of death, and expired in the street, +under the fury of a stormy and tempestuous day. Of those who remained, +four who are Protestants, and two whom are Catholics, have promised to +vote with M'Clutchy, who is here the great representative of Lord +Cumber and his property. If, indeed, you were now to look upon these two +miserable lines of silent and tenantless walls, most of them unroofed, +and tumbled into heaps of green ruin, that are fast melting out of +shape, for they were mostly composed of mere peat--you would surely say, +as the Eastern Vizier said in the apologue. 'God prosper Mr. Valentine +M'Clutchy!--for so long as Lord Cumber has him for an agent, he will +never want plenty of ruined villages!' My companion muttered many things +to himself, but said nothing intelligible, until he came to one of the +ruins pretty near the centre:-- + +"'Ay,' said he, 'here is the place they said he died--here before the +door--and in there is where he lay during his long sickness. The wet +thatch and the sods is lying there now. Many a time I was with him. Poor +Torley!' + +"'Of whom do you speak now, Raymond?' I asked. + +"'Come away,' he said, not noticing my question,--'come till I show +you the other place that the neighbors built privately when he was +dying--the father I mean--ay, and the other wid the white head, him that +wouldn't waken--come.' + +"I followed him, for truth to tell, I was sick at heart of all that I +had witnessed that morning, and now felt anxious, if I could, to relieve +my imagination of this melancholy imagery and its causes altogether. +He went farther up towards the higher mountains, in rather a slanting +direction, but not immediately into their darkest recesses, and after a +walk of about two miles more, he stopped at the scattered turf walls of +what must once have been a cold, damp, and most comfortless cabin. + +"'There,' said he, I saw it all; 'twas the blood-hounds. He died, and +her white-headed boy died; him, you know, that wouldn't waken--there +is where they both died; and see here'--there was at this moment a most +revolting expression of ferocious triumph in his eye as he spoke--'see, +here the blood-hound dropped, for the bullet went through him!--Ha, ha, +that's one; the three dead--the three dead! Come now, come, come.' He +then seemed much changed, for he shuddered as he spoke, and after +a little time, much to my astonishment, a spirit of tenderness and +humanity settled on his face, his eyes filled with tears, and he +exclaimed, 'Poor Mary! they're all gone, and she will never see his +white head again; and his eyes won't open any more; no, they're all +gone, all gone: oh! come away!' + +"I had heard as much of this brutal tragedy as made his allusions barely +intelligible, but on attempting to gain any further information from +him, he relapsed, as he generally did, into his usual abruptness of +manner. He now passed down towards the cultivated country, at a pace +which I was once more obliged to request him to moderate. + +"'Well,' said he, 'if you don't care, I needn't, for we'll have it--I +know by the roarin' of the river and by the look of the mountains there +above.' + +"'What shall we have, Raymond?' I inquired. + +"'No matther,' said he, rather to himself than to me, 'we can cross the +stick.* But I'll show you the place, for I was there at the time, and +his coffin was on the top of his father's. Ha, ha, I liked that, and +they all cried but Mary, and she laughed and sung, and clapped her hands +when the clay was makin' a noise upon them, and then the people cried +more. I cried for him in the little coffin, for I loved him--I wondher +God doesn't kill M'Clutchy--the curse o' God, and the blessin' o' the +devil on him! Ha, ha, there's one now: let him take it.' + + * In mountain rivers a "stick," or plank, is frequently a + substitute for a bridge. + +"We still proceeded at a brisk pace for about a mile and a half, +leaving the dark and savage hills behind us, when Raymond turning about, +directed my attention to the mountains. These were overhung by masses +of black clouds, that were all charged with rain and the elements of +a tempest. From one of these depended a phenomenon which I had never +witnessed before--I mean a water spout, wavering in its black and +terrible beauty over this savage scenery, thus adding its gloomy +grandeur to the sublimity of the thunder-storm, which now deepened, +peal after peal, among the mountains. To such as are unacquainted with +mountain scenery, and have never witnessed an inland water spout, it +is only necessary to say, that it resembles a long inverted cone, that +hangs from a bank of clouds whose blackness is impenetrable. It appears +immovable at the upper part, where it joins the clouds; but, as it +gradually tapers to a long and delicate point, it waves to and fro with +a beautiful and gentle motion, which blends a sense of grace with the +very terror it excites. It seldom lasts more than a few minutes, for, +as soon as the clouds are dispersed by the thunder it disappears so +quickly, that, having once taken your eye off it when it begins to +diminish, it is gone before you can catch it again--a fact which adds +something of a wild and supernatural character to its life-like motion +and appearance. The storm in which we saw it, was altogether confined +to the mountains, where it raged for a long time, evidently pouring down +deluges of rain, whilst on the hill side which we traversed, there was +nothing but calmness and sunshine. + +"'It will be before us,' said Raymond, pointing to a dry torrent bed +close beside us; 'whisht, here it is---ha, ha, I like that--see it, see +it!' + +"I looked in the direction of his hand, and was entranced in a kind of +wild and novel delight, by witnessing a large bursting body of water, +something between a dark and yellow hue, tumbling down the bed of the +river, with a roaring noise and impetuosity of which I had never formed +any conception before. From the spot we stood on, up to its formation +among the mountains, the river was literally a furious mountain torrent, +foaming over its very banks, whilst from the same place down to the +cultivated country it was almost dry, with merely an odd pool, connected +here and there by a stream too shallow to cover the round worn stones in +its channel. So rapid, and, indeed dangerous, is the rise of a mountain +flood, that many a life of man and beast have fallen victims to the +fatal speed of its progress. Raymond now bent his steps over to +the left, and, in a few minutes, we entered a graveyard, so closely +surrounded by majestic whitethorns, that it came upon me by surprise. + +"'Whisht,' said he, 'she's often here--behind this ould chapel. For 'tis +there they are, the two big coffins and the little one--but I liked the +little one best.' + +"He conducted me to an old mullioned window in the gable, through which +a single glance discovered to me the female of whose insanity, and the +dreadful cause of it, I had before heard. Whilst pointing her out to me, +he laid his hand upon my shoulder, and, heavy as it was, I could feel +the more distinctly by its vibrations that he trembled; and, on looking +into his face I perceived that he had got deadly pale, and that the same +spirit of humanity and compassion, to which I have alluded, had returned +to it once more. There was not reason in his face, to be sure, but there +certainly was an expression there, trembling, and mild, and beautiful, +as is the light of the morning star, before the glory of the sun has +unveiled itself in heaven. To Raymond's mind that early herald had +indeed come, but that was all--to him had never arisen the light of +perfect day. + +"'There she is,' said he, 'look at her, but don't spake.' + +"I looked at her with deep and melancholy interest. She sat on a broken +tombstone that lay beside the grave of those in whom her whole happiness +in this life had centered. Her dress was wofully neglected, her hair +loose, that is, it escaped from her cap, her white bosom was bare, and +her feet without shoe or stocking. I could easily perceive, that great +as her privations had been, God had now, perhaps in mercy, taken +away her consciousness of them, for she often smiled whilst talking +to herself, and occasionally seemed to feel that fulness of happiness +which, whether real or not, appears so frequently in the insane. +At length she stooped down, and kissed the clay of their graves, +exclaiming-- + +"'There is something here that I love; but nobody will tell me what +it is--no, not one. No matter, I know I love something--I know I love +somebody--somebody--and they love me--but now will no one tell me where +they are? Wouldn't Hugh come to me if I called him? but sure I did, and +he won't come--and Torley, too, won't come, and my own poor white-head, +even he won't come to me. But whisht, may be they're asleep; ay, +asleep, and ah, sure if ever any creatures wanted sleep, they do--sleep, +darlin's, sleep--I'll not make a noise to waken one of you--but what's +that?' + +"Here she clasped her hands, and looked with such a gaze of affright and +horror around her, as I never saw on a human face before. + +"'What's that? It's them, it's them,' she exclaimed--'I hear their +horses' feet, I hear them cursin' and swearin'--but no matther, I'm not +to be frightened. Amn't I Hugh Roe's wife?--Isn't here God on my side, +an' are ye a match for him.--Here--here's my breast, my heart, and +through that you must go before you touch him. But then,' she added, +with a sigh, 'where's them that I love, an' am waitin' for, an' why +don't they come?' + +"She once more stooped down, and kissing the grave, whispered, but loud +enough to be heard, 'are ye here? If ye are, ye may speak to me--it's +not them, they don't know where ye are yet--but sure ye may speak to me. +It's Mary, Hugh--your mother, Torley--your own mother, Brian dear, with +the fair locks.' + +"'Ay,' said Raymond, 'that's the white-head she misses--that's him that +I loved--but sure she needn't call him for he won't waken. I'll spake to +her.' As he uttered the words he passed rapidly out of a broken portion +of the wall, and, before she was aware of his approach, stood +beside her. I thought she would have been startled by his unexpected +appearance, but I was mistaken; she surveyed him not only without alarm, +but benignly; and after having examined him for some moments, she said, +'there are three of them, but they will not come--don't you know how I +loved somebody?' + +"'Which o' them?' said Raymond. + +"'It's a long sleep,' she said, without noticing the question, 'a long +sleep--well, they want it, poor things, for there was but little for +them but care, and cowld, and hardship--Sure we had sickness--Torley +left us first; but,--let me see,--where did Poor Brian go? Well, no +matter, we had sickness, as I said, and sometimes we had little or +nothing to eat, but sure still wasn't my hand tendher about them. I felt +my heart in my fingers when I touched them, and, if I gave them a drink +didn't my heart burn, and oh! it was then I knew how I loved them! +Whisht, then, poor things--och sure I'll do my best--I'll struggle for +you as well as I can--you have none but me to do it--it's not the black +wather I'd give my darlin' child if I had betther; but gruel is what I +can't get, for the sorra one grain of mail is undher the roof wid me; +but I'll warm the cowld potato for my pet, and you can play wid it till +you fall asleep, accushla. Yes, I will kiss you; for afther all, isn't +that the richest little treat that your poor mother has to comfort you +with in your poor cowld sick bed--one and all o' ye.' + +"Here she rocked herself to and fro, precisely as if she had been +sitting by the sick bed, then stooping down a third time, she kissed the +earth that contained them once more-- + +"'Ah,' she exclaimed, 'how cowld their lips are! how cowld my +white-haired boy's lips are! and their sleep is long--Oh! but their +sleep is long!' + +"Raymond, during these incoherent expressions, stood mutely beside her, +his lips, however, often moving, as if he were communing with himself, +or endeavoring to shape some words of rude comfort in her sorrows; but +ever and anon, as he seemed to go about it, his face moved with feelings +which he could not utter, like the surface of a brook stirred by the +breeze that passes over it. At length he laid his hand gently on her +shoulder, and exclaimed in a tone of wild and thrilling compassion-- + +"'Mary!' + +"She then started for a moment, and looking around her with something +like curiosity rather than alarm, replied-- + +"'Well--' + +"'Mary,' said he, 'make haste and go to heaven; make haste and go to +heaven--you'll find them all there--Hugh Regan, and Torley, and little +Brian. Don't stop here, for there will be more blood, more bloodhounds, +and more Val M'Clutchy's.' + +"She did not seem to have noticed his particular words, but there +appeared to have been some association awakened which gave a new impulse +to her thoughts-- + +"'Come away,' said she, 'come away!' + +"Raymond turned, and looking towards where I stood, beckoned me to +follow them; and truly it was a touching sight to see this unregulated +attempt of the poor innocent, to sooth the heavy sorrows--if such they +were now--of one of whose malady could appreciate no sympathy, and whose +stricken heart was apparently beyond the reach of consolation forever. + +"Both now proceeded in silence, Raymond still holding her by the hand, +and affording her every assistance, as we crossed the fields, in order +to shorten the path which led us to the Castle Cumber road. On coming +to a ditch, for instance, he would lift her, but still with care and +gentleness, in his powerful arms, and place her, with scarcely any +effort of her own strength, which, indeed, was nearly gone, safely and +easily upon the other side. + +"We had now crossed that part of the sloping upland which led us +out upon a bridle road, that passed close by M'Loughlin's house and +manufactory, and which, slanted across a ford in the river, a little +above their flax-mill. Having got out upon this little road, Raymond, +who, as well as his companion, had for some time past proceeded in +silence, stopped suddenly, and said--'Where is heaven, Mary?' + +"She involuntarily looked up towards the sky, with a quick but +more significant glance than any I had yet seen her give; but this +immediately passed away, and she said in a low voice, very full of the +usual tones of sorrow:--'Heaven--it's there,' she replied, pointing +behind her, towards the burying-place, 'in their graves!' + +"Raymond looked at me, and smiled, as if much pleased with the answer. +'Ay,' said he, 'so it is--wherever his white head lies is heaven.' + +"I cannot tell how it happened, but I know that I felt every source of +tenderness and compassion in my heart moved and opened more by these +simple words on both sides, than by all that had passed since we met +her. + +"In a few minutes more we reached that part of the road immediately +adjoining M'Loughlin's house, and which expanded itself as it reached +the river, that here became a ford, being crossed in ordinary cases +by stone steps. As is usual in the case of such, floods, which fall as +rapidly as they rise, we found about a dozen persons of both sexes, some +sitting, others standing, but all waiting until the river should subside +so as to be passed with safety--the little wooden bridge alluded to +having been literally swept away. Among these was Poll Doolin, the +mother of Raymond, who, however, did not appear to take any particular +notice of her, but kept close by, and directed all his attention to, +unhappy Mary O'Regan. About half an hour, had elapsed, when Raymond, +casting his eye upon the decreasing torrent, said-- + +"'It is now low enough--come, Mary, I will carry you safe over--Raymond +has often crossed it higher, ay, when it was over the rock there to our +right--come.' He lifted her up in his arms without another word, and, +with firm and confident steps, proceeded to ford the still powerful and +angry stream. + +"'Raymond, are you mad?' shouted his mother; 'ten times your strength +couldn't stand that flood--come back, you headstrong creature, or you'll +both be lost, as sure as you attempt it.' + +"Her remonstrances, however, were in vain. Raymond did not even look +back, nor pay the slightest attention to what she said. + +"'Never mind them,' said he; 'I know best--it's often I crossed it.' + +"On reaching the centre of the stream, however, he appeared to feel as +if he had miscalculated the strength of either it or himself. He stood +for a moment literally shaking like a reed in its strong current--the +passive maniac still in his arms, uncertain whether to advance with her +or go back. Experience, however, had often told him, that if the fording +it were at all practicable, the danger was tenfold to return, for by +the very act of changing the position, a man must necessarily lose the +firmness of his opposition to the stream, and consequently be borne away +without the power of resisting it. Raymond, therefore, balanced himself +as steadily as possible, and by feeling and making sure his footing in +the most cautious manner--the slightest possible slip or stumble being +at that moment fatal--he, with surprising strength and courage, had just +succeeded in placing her safely on the rock he had before alluded to, +when a stone turned under him--his foot gave way--and the poor creature, +whose reason was veiled to almost every impulse but that of a wild +and touching humanity, tumbled down the boiling torrent, helpless and +unresisting as a child, and utterly beyond the reach of assistance. My +own sensations and feelings I really cannot describe, because, in point +of fact, such was the tumult--the horror--of my mind at that moment, +that I have no distinct recollection of my impressions. I think for +a short space I must have lost both my sight and hearing, for I now +distinctly remember to have heard, only for the first time, the piercing +screams of his mother rising above the wild and alarming cries of the +others--but not until he had gone down the stream, and disappeared round +a sharp angle or bend, which it formed about eight or ten yards below +where he fell. + +"There grew a little to the left of the spot where this shocking +disaster occurred, a small clump of whitethorn trees, so closely matted +together, that it was impossible to see through them. We all, therefore, +ran round as if by instinct, to watch the tumbling body of poor Raymond, +when what was our surprise to see a powerful young man, about eight or +ten yards below us, dashing into the stream; where, although the current +was narrower, it was less violent, and holding by a strong projecting +branch of hazel that grew on the bank, stretch across the flood, and, +as the body of Raymond passed him, seize it with a vigorous grasp, which +brought it close to where he stood. Feeling that both were now out of +the force of the current, he caught it in his arms, and ere any of +us had either time or presence of mind even to proffer assistance, he +carried, or rather dragged it out of the water, and laid it on the dry +bank. + +"'Come,' said he, 'I am afraid there is little time to be lost--help +me up with him to my father's, till we see what can be done to recover +life, if life is left.' + +"The fact is, however, that Raymond was not altogether insensible; for, +as young M'Loughlin--the same, by the way, who had sent the message to +Phil--had concluded, he opened his eyes, breathed, and after gulping up +some water, looked about him. + +"'Ah!' said he, 'poor Mary--she's gone to them at last; but she'll be +happier with them. Take my hand,' said he to M'Loughlin, 'sure I thought +I could do it. Poor Mary!' + +"This instantly directed our attention to the unhappy woman, whom we had +all overlooked and forgotten for the moment, and I need not say that +our satisfaction was complete, on finding her sitting calmly on the rock +where Raymond had placed her, at the risk of his life. Poll Doolin, now +seeing that her idiot son was safe, and feeling that she was indebted +for his life to the son of that man on whom she is said by many to have +wreaked such a fearful vengeance, through the ruined reputation of +his only daughter, now approached the young man, and with her features +deeply convulsed by a sense probably of her obligation to him, she +stretched out her hand, 'John M'Loughlin,' said she, 'from this day out +may God prosper me here and hereafter, if I'm not the friend of you and +yours!' + +"'Bad and vindictive woman,' replied the other indignantly, whilst he +held back the hand she sought, 'our accounts are now settled--I have +saved your son; you have murdered my sister. If you are capable of +remorse I now leave you to the hell of your own conscience, which can be +but little less in punishment than that of the damned.' + +"Raymond, whose attention had been divided between them and Mary +O'Regan, now said-- + +"'Ha, ha, mother--there--that's one--you'll sleep sound now I hope, +for you didn't lately--that little thing that comes to your bedside at +night, won't trouble you any more, I suppose. No, no, the thing you say +in your sleep, that is black in the face, has its tongue out, and the +handkerchief drawn tight about its neck. You'd give back the money in +your dhrame; but sorry a penny while you're waken, I'll engage.' + +"Poll turned away rebuked, but not, if one could judge, either in +resentment or revenge. Raymond's words she had not heard, and of course +paid no attention to what he said; but the latter, now seeing that +the river had fallen considerably, again dashed into the stream, and +crossing over, lifted the poor insane widow off the rock, and setting +her down in safety on the other side, they both proceeded onwards +together. + +"'The ford, sir, will not be passable for at least another hour,' said +young M'Loughlin, addressing me, 'but if you will have the kindness to +step up to my father's, and rest a little after your mountain journey, +for I think you have been up the hills, you will find it at least more +comfortable than standing here, and less fatiguing than going round +by the bridge, which would make it at least five miles added to your +journey.' + +"I thanked him, said I felt obliged, and would gladly avail myself of +his very civil invitation. + +"'Perhaps,' he added, 'you might wish to see our flax and linen +manufactory; if so, and that you do not think it troublesome, I will +feel great pleasure in showing it to you.' + +"I expressed my obligations, but pleaded fatigue, which indeed I felt; +and we consequently soon found ourselves in his father's parlor, where +I met a very venerable old gentleman, the Rev. Mr. Roche, the Roman +Catholic pastor of the parish." + +We must here exercise the privilege, which, at the commencement of +this correspondence, we assured our readers we should reserve to +ourselves--we allude to the ability which we possess, from ampler +and clearer sources of information--to throw into Mr. Easel's +correspondence, in their proper place, such incidents as he could +not have possibly known, but which let in considerable light upon the +progress of his narrative. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII.--An Execution by Val's Blood-Hounds + +Cruel Consequences of Phil's Plot Against Mary M'Loughlin--Dreadful +Determination of her Brothers--An Oath of Blood--Father Roche's +Knowledge of Nature--Interview Between Mary and her Brothers--Influence +and Triumph of Domestic Affection + + +The hellish and cowardly plot against Mary M'Loughlin's reputation, and +which the reader knows has already been planned and perpetrated by +Poll Doolin and Phil M'Clutchy, was, as such vile calumnies mostly are, +generally successful with the public. On her own immediate relations +and family, who knew her firmness, candor, purity of heart, and +self-respect, the foul slander had no effect whatsoever, at least in +shaking their confidence in her sense of honor and discretion. With the +greedy and brutal public, however, it was otherwise; and the discovery +of this fact, which reached them in a thousand ways, it was that filled +their hearts with such unparalleled distress, terrible agony, and that +expanding spirit of revenge which is never satisfied, until it closes +on him whose crime has given it birth. In truth,--and it is not to be +wondered at--as how almost could it be otherwise?--the diabolical and +cowardly crime of Phil M'Clutchy towards their sweet and unoffending +sister, had changed her three brothers from men into so many savage and +insatiable Frankensteins, resolved never to cease dogging his guilty +steps, until their vengeance had slaked its burning thirst in his +caitiff blood. + +Immediately after the night of its occurrence, a change began to take +place in the conduct and deportment of their general acquaintances. +Visitors dropped off, some from actual delicacy, and an unaffected +compassion, and others from that shrinking fear of moral contagion, +which is always most loudly and severely expressed by the private sinner +and hypocrite. Their sister's conduct was, in fact, the topic of +general discussion throughout the parish, and we need not say that such +discussions usually were terminated--first in great compassion for the +poor girl, and then as their virtue warmed, in as earnest denunciations +of her guilt. To an indifferent person, however, without any prejudice +either for or against her, it was really impossible, considering the +satanic success with which the plot was managed, and the number of +witnesses actually present at its accomplishment, to consider Miss +M'Loughlin as free at least from gross and indefensible levity, and a +most unjustifiable relaxation of female prudence, at a period when it +was known she was actually engaged to another. + +This certainly looked very suspicious, and we need scarcely say that a +cessation of all visits, intimacy, and correspondence, immediately took +place, on the part of female friends and acquaintances. In fact the +innocent victim of this dastardly plot was completely deserted, and the +little party of her friends was by no means a match for the large and +godly hosts who charitably combined to establish her guilt. Her father, +with all his manliness of character, and sterling integrity, was not +distressed on his daughter's account only. There was another cause of +anxiety to him equally deep--we mean the mysterious change that had come +over his sons, in consequence of this blasting calamity. He saw clearly +that they had come to the dark and stern determination of avenging their +sister's disgrace upon its author, and that at whatever risk. This in +truth to him was the greater affliction of the two, and he accordingly +addressed himself with all his authority and influence over them, to +the difficult task of plucking this frightful resolution out of their +hearts. In his attempt to execute this task, he found himself baffled +and obstructed by other circumstances of a very distracting nature. +First, there were the rascally paragraphs alluding to his embarrassments +on the one hand, and those which, while pretending to vindicate him and +his partner from any risk of bankruptcy, levelled the assassin's blow +at the reputation of his poor daughter, on the other. Both told; but +the first with an effect which no mere moral courage or consciousness +of integrity, however high, could enable him to meet. Creditors came in, +alarmed very naturally at the reports against his solvency, and +demanded settlement of their accounts from the firm. These, in the +first instances, were immediately made out and paid; but this would not +do--other claimants came, equally pressing--one after another--and +each so anxious in the early panic to secure himself, that ere long the +instability which, in the beginning, had no existence, was gradually +felt, and the firm of Harman and M'Loughlin felt themselves on the eve +of actual bankruptcy. + +These matters all pressed heavily and bitterly on both father and sons. +But we have yet omitted to mention that which, amidst all the lights +in which the daughter contemplated the ruin of her fair fame, fell with +most desolating consequences upon her heart--we mean her rejection by +Harman, and the deliberate expression of his belief in her guilt. And, +indeed, when our readers remember how artfully the web of iniquity +was drawn around her, and the circumstances of mystery in which Harman +himself had witnessed her connection with Poll Doolin, whose character +for conducting intrigues he knew too well, they need not be surprised +that he threw her off as a deceitful and treacherous wanton, in whom +no man of a generous and honorable nature could or ought to place +confidence, and who was unworthy even of an explanation. Mary +M'Loughlin could have borne everything but this. Yes; the abandonment +of friends--of acquaintances--of a fickle world itself; but here it was +where her moral courage foiled her. The very hope to which her heart had +clung from its first early and innocent impulses--the man to whom she +looked up as the future guide, friend, and partner of her life, and for +whose sake and safety she had suffered herself to be brought within +the meshes of her enemies and his--this man, her betrothed husband, had +openly expressed his conviction of her being unfit to become his wife, +upon hearing from his cousin and namesake an account of what that young +man had witnessed. Something between a nervous and brain fever had +seized her on the very night of this heinous stratagem; but from that +she was gradually recovering when at length she heard, by accident, of +Harman's having unequivocally and finally withdrawn from the engagement. +Under this she sank. It was now in vain to attempt giving her support, +or cheering her spirits. Depression, debility, apathy, restlessness, +and all the symptoms of a breaking constitution and a broken heart, +soon began to set in and mark her for an early, and what was worse, an +ignominious grave. It was then that her brothers deemed it full time to +act. Their father, on the night before the day on which poor Raymond was +rescued from death, observed them secretly preparing firearms,--for they +had already, as the reader knows, satisfied themselves that M'Clutchy, +junior, would not fight--took an opportunity of securing their weapons +in a place where he knew they could not be found. This, however, was of +little avail--they told him it must and should be done, and that neither +he nor any other individual in existence should debar them from the +execution of their just, calm, and reasonable vengeance--for such were +their very words. In this situation matters were, when about eleven +o'clock the next morning, Father Roche, who, from the beginning, had +been there to aid and console, as was his wont, wherever calamity or +sorrow called upon him, made his appearance in the family, much to the +relief of M'Loughlin's mind, who dreaded the gloomy deed which his sons +had proposed to themselves to execute, and who knew besides, that in +this good and pious priest he had a powerful and eloquent ally. After +the first salutations had passed, M'Loughlin asked for a private +interview with him; and when they had remained about a quarter of an +hour together, the three sons were sent for, all of whom entered with +silent and sullen resolution strongly impressed on their stern, pale, +and immovable features. Father Roche himself was startled even into +something like terror, when he witnessed this most extraordinary change +in the whole bearing and deportment of the young men, whom he had always +known so buoyant and open-hearted. + +"My dear young friends," said he, calmly and affectionately, "your +father has just disclosed to me a circumstance, to which, did it not +proceed from his lips, I could not yield credit. Is it true that +you have come to the most unchristian and frightful determination of +shedding blood?" + +"Call it just and righteous," said John, calmly. + +"Yes," followed the other two, "it is both." + +"In his cowardly crime he has evaded the responsibility of law," +continued John, "and we care not if his punishment goes beyond law +itself. We will answer for it with our lives--but in the mean time, he +must die." + +"You see, Father Roche," observed M'Loughlin, "to what a hardened state +the strong temptations of the devil has brought them." + +"It is not that," said John; "it is affection for our injured sister, +whom he has doubly murdered--it is also hatred of himself, and of the +oppression we are receiving in so many shapes at his hands. He must +die." + +"Yes," repeated the two brothers, "he must die, it is now too late." + +"Ha!" said the priest, "I understand you; there is an oath here." + +The three brothers smiled, but spoke not. + +"Are ye my sons?" said the father, in tears, "and will you, who were +ever obedient and dutiful, disregard me now?" + +"In this one thing we must," said John "we know you not now as our +father. Am I right?" said he, addressing his brothers. + +"You are right," they replied, "in this thing he is not our father." + +"Great God!" said the priest, trembling with absolute dread at a scene +so different from any he had ever witnessed, "Merciful Father, hear our +prayers, and drive the evil spirits of vengeance and blood out of the +hearts of these wicked men!" + +"Amen!" said their father, "and rescue them from the strong temptations +of the devil which are in them and upon them. Why do you not even pray +to God--" + +"--For strength to do it--we did, and we do," said John, interrupting +him. + +Father Roche looked at them, and there they stood, pale, silent, and +with a smile upon their lips which filled him with a description of +awe and fear that was new to him. Their father was little better; the +perspiration stood on his brow, and as he looked at them, he at times +began to doubt their very identity, and to believe that the whole +interview might be a phantasma, or a hideous dream. + +"You have sworn an oath," said the priest. "Rash and sinful men, you +dared blasphemously to take, as it were, the Almighty into a league of +blood! Do you not know that the creature you are about to slay is the +work of your Creator, even as you are yourselves, and what power +have you over his life? I see, I see," he added, "you have taken a +sacrilegious oath of blood!" + +"We have taken an oath of blood," said they, "and we will keep it." + +"But is this just to your sister?" said the priest; "do you believe in +the justice of an Almighty Providence? Is there no probability that, if +this man lives, circumstances may come to light by which her fair and +spotless character may be vindicated to the world? On the contrary, +should you now take his life, you prevent any such possibility from ever +happening; and your own rashness and ungodly crime, will be the means of +sending her name down to posterity, foul and spotted with the imputation +of woman's worst guilt. Is that love for your sister?" + +Father Roche now began to see that he must argue with their passions--or +with that strong affection for their sister, upon which these +fearful passions were founded--rather than with their reason or their +prejudices, which, in point of fact were now immovably set in the dark +determination of crime. + +"Do you forget," he added, "that there are laws in the country to +pursue and overtake the murderer? Do you forget that you will die an +ignominious death, and that, instead of acting an honorable part in +life, as becomes your ancient and noble name, you will bequeath nothing +to your parents but an inheritance of shame and infamy?" + +"We have thought of all this before," said John. + +"No, not all," said the youngest; "not all, but nearly." + +"Well, nearly," said the other. + +"Then," said the priest, "you will not hesitate to renounce your most +foul and diabolical intention?" + +"We have sworn it," said John, "and it must be done." To this the others +calmly assented. + +"Well, then," said the earnest Christian, "since you fear neither +disgrace, nor shame, nor the force of human laws, nor the dread of human +punishment, you are not so hardened as to bid defiance to the Almighty, +by whom you will be judged. Has he not said, 'thou shalt do no murder? +and that whoso sheddeth blood, by man shall his blood be shed.' I now +ask you," said he, "as one of the humblest of his accredited messengers, +do you believe in God and fear him?" + +"We are sworn," said John; "the blood of him who has dishonored our +sister's name we will shed, and it is neither priest nor parent who will +or shall prevent us." + +"Is not a rash and unlawful oath a crime?" said Father Roche: "yes, and +you know it is better broken than kept. I call upon you now, as your +spiritual guide, to renounce that blasphemous oath of blood, and in the +name of the Almighty and all powerful God, I command you to do it." + +"We deny your right to interfere," replied John, "we are not now at +confession--keep within your limits; for as sure as there is death and +Judgment, so sure as we will fulfil our oath in avenging the disgrace of +our sister. That ends all, and we will speak no more." + +The good old man began to fear that he should be put to the most painful +necessity of lodging informations before a magistrate, and thus become +the means of bringing' disgrace and evil upon the family when it +occurred to him to ask them a last question. + +"My dear young men," said he, "I have forgotten, in the agitation of +mind occasioned by the unprecedented disclosure of your evil and wilful +intentions, to ask, if you so far renounce God as to refuse to worship +him. Kneel down, and let us pray." He himself and their father knelt, +but the three brothers stood as sullen and immovable as before. Tho +priest uttered a short prayer, but their conduct so completely +perplexed and shocked him, that he rose up, and with tears in his eyes, +exclaimed-- + +"I am now an old man, and have witnessed many instances of error, and +sin, and deep crime, but never before have I seen in persons of your +early years, such instances--such awful, terrible instances--of that +impenitence in which the heart, setting aside God and his sacred +ordinances, is given over to the hardness of final reprobation. I can do +no more, as the ambassador of Christ, but I must not stand by and see a +fellow-creature--oh! thank God," he exclaimed, "a thought recurs to my +mind which had for a time passed out of it. My good friend," he said, +addressing old M'Loughlin, "will you bring Mary in, if she is able to +come--say I request to see her here." + +"We will go now," said the eldest, "you can want us no longer." + +"You shall not go," replied Father Roche firmly, "if you are men, +stay--or, if cowards, who are afraid to look into the depths of your +own dark designs, you will and may go--we want you not." This language +perplexed them, but they stood as before, and moved not. + +In a few minutes Mary came in, leaning on her father's arm; but, ah! +what a change from the elegant outline and clear, healthy cheek--from +the red plump lips, and dark mellow eyes, which carried fascination +in every glance and grace in every motion! Sweet, and beautiful, and +interesting, she still unquestionably was, but her pale cheek, languid +eye, and low tremulous voice, told a tale, which, when the cause of it +was reflected on, had literally scorched up out of her brother's hearts +every remaining vestige of humanity. + +"Mary," said the priest, we have requested your presence, my child, for +a most important purpose--and, in communicating that purpose to you, we +indeed give the strongest proof of our confidence in your firmness and +good sense--nay, I will add, in the truth and fervor of your dependence +on the sustaining power of religion." + +"In my own strength or discretion I will never depend more," she +replied, sighing deeply. + +"You must exert great courage and firmness now, then," rejoined Father +Roche; "In the first place, you are about to have a disclosure made +which will be apt to shock you; and, in the next place, I have only to +say, that it is the absolute necessity of your knowing it, in order to +prevent dreadful consequences from ensuing upon it, that forces us to +make you cognizant of it at all." + +"I trust I shall endeavor at least to bear it," she returned; "I am +not strong, and I do not think that too much preparation will add to my +strength." + +"I agree with you, my child," said Father Roche, "and have only made +such as I deemed indispensably necessary. The fact then is, my poor +girl, that your brothers meditate violence against that most base and +wicked person who--" + +"I know, sir, the person to whom you allude; but I will thank you, if +you can avoid it, not to name him." + +"I have no such intention," replied the good man, "but bad and +profligate as he is, it is still worse that your three brothers should +propose such violence." + +"But what do you mean by violence--of course violence of any description +is beneath them. Surely,--John, you would not stoop--" + +She looked at them as she spoke, and, as before, there was no mistaking +the meaning of the cold and deadly smile which lay upon their lips, and +contrasted so strongly and strangely with their kindling eyes. + +"What fearful expression is this," she asked, with evident terror and +trepidation; "my dear brothers, what does this mean?--that is, if you +be my brothers, for I can scarcely recognize you--what is it, in the +name of heaven?" + +The brothers looked at her, but spoke not, nor moved. + +"They have taken an oath, Mary, to wipe out your shame in his blood," +added the priest. + +She immediately rose up without aid, and approached them. + +"This is not true, my dear brothers," said she, "this cannot be +true--deny it for your sister." + +"We cannot deny it, Mary," said John, "for it is true, and must be +done--our vengeance is ripe, hot, burning, and will wait no longer." + +"John," said she, calmly, "recollect 'vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, +and I will repay it.'" + +"I told them so," said their father, "but I receive no attention at +their hands." + +"Vengeance is ours," said John, in a deeper and more determined voice +than he had ever uttered, "vengeance is ours, and we shall repay it." +The others repeated his words as before. + +"Obstinate and unhappy young men," said the priest, "you know not, or +you forget, that this is blasphemy." + +"This, my dear sir," observed their sister, getting still more +deadly,pale than before, "is not blasphemy, it is insanity--my three +brothers are insane; that is it. Relieve me, John," said she, recovering +herself, "and say it is so." + +"If we were insane, Mary," replied her brother, calmly, "our words would +go for nothing." + +"But, is it not a dreadful thing," she continued, "that I should be glad +of such an alternative?" + +"Mary," said the priest, "ask them to pray; they refused to join me and +their father, perhaps you may be more successful." + +"They will certainly pray," said she; "I never knew them to omit it +a night, much less refuse it. Surely they will join their poor sister +Mary, who will not long--" She hesitated from motives which the reader +can understand, but immediately knelt down to prayer. + +During prayer the three brothers stood and knelt not, neither did they +speak. When prayers were concluded, she arose, and with tears in her +eyes, approached her eldest-brother. + +"John," said she, "can it be that the brother of Mary M'Loughlin is an +assassin? I will answer for you," she said. "Kiss me, for I am weak and +feeble, and must go to bed." + +"I cannot kiss you," he replied; "I can never kiss you more, Mary--for +it must be--done." + +The tears still streamed copiously down her cheeks, as they did down +those of her father and the amiable priest. The latter, who never took +his eye off her, was praying; incessantly, as might be seen by the +motion, of his lips. + +"Alick," she proceeded, turning to her second brother, "surely won't +refuse to kiss and embrace his only sister, before she withdraws for the +day." + +"I cannot kiss you, my pure sister; I can never kiss you more. We have +sworn, and it must be done." + +"I thought I had brothers," said she, "but I find I am now +brotherless--yet perhaps not altogether so. I had once a young, +generous, innocent, and very affectionate playfellow. It was known +that I loved him--that we all loved him best. Will he desert his loving +sister, now that the world has done so? or will he allow her to kiss, +him, and to pray that the darkness of guilt may never overshadow his +young and generous spirit. Bryan," she added, "I am Mary, your sister, +whom you loved--and surely you are my own dearest brother." + +Whilst she uttered the words, the tears: which flowed from her eyes +fell upon his face. He looked at her pale features, so full of love and +tenderness--the muscles of his face worked strongly; but at length, with +a loud cry, he threw himself over, caught her in his arms, and laying +her head upon his bosom, wept aloud. The evil spell was now broken. +Neither John nor Alick could resist the contagion of tenderness +which their beloved sister shed into their hearts. Their tears +flowed fast--their caresses were added to those of Brian; and as they +penitently embraced her, they retracted their awful oath, and promised +never again to think of violence, revenge, or bloodshed. + +Thus did the force and purity of domestic affection charm back into +their hearts the very spirit which its own excess had before driven +out of it;--and thus it is that many a triumph over crime is won by +the tenderness and strength of that affection, when neither reason, +nor religion, nor any other principle that we are acquainted with, +can succeed in leading captive the fearful purposes of resentment and +revenge. + +"Now," said Father Eoche, "we have still a, duty to perform, and that +is, to return thanks to Almighty God for the dark and deadly crime, and +the woeful sorrow, which, by his grace and mercy, he has averted from +this family; and I think we may take this blessing--for such surely it +is--as an earnest hope that the same Divine hand, which has put aside +this impending calamity from us, may, and will, in his own good time, +remove the other afflictions which the enmity and wickedness of evil +hearts, and evil councils have brought upon us; but especially let us +kneel and return thanks for the great and happy change which, through +the humility and affection of one of us, has been wrought upon the +rest." + +He then knelt down, and on this occasion the iron sinews of these young +men became soft, and were bent in remorse, sorrow, repentance. The pious +priest prayed fervently and humbly, and as his tears fell fast, in the +trusting sincerity of his heart and the meek earnestness of his +spirit, it is almost unnecessary to say, that those of his little flock +accompanied him. The brothers wept bitterly, for the rocky heart of each +had been touched, and religion completed the triumph which affection had +begun. + +Such had been the situation of this family on the day alluded to by +Mr. Easel, who could not, of course, have had any means of becoming +acquainted with them, but as we felt that the incidents were necessary +to give fulness to his narrative, we did not hesitate to introduce them +here, where a knowledge of them was so necessary. We now allow Mr. Easel +himself to resume his narrative. + + +"This venerable pastor," continues Mr. Easel, "is a thin, pale man, but, +evidently, in consequence of temperance and moderation in his general +habits of living, a healthy one. He cannot be less than seventy, but the +singular clearness of his complexion, and the steady lustre of his +gray eye, lead you to suppose that he is scarcely that. He is tall and +without stoop, and, from the intellectual character of his high and +benevolent forehead, added to the mildness of his other features, and +his whole face, he presented, I must say, a very striking combination of +dignity and meekness. His dress is plain, and nothing can be more fine +and impressive than the contrast between his simple black apparel, and +the long flowing snow-white hair which falls over it. His holy zeal as +a Christian minister, unobscured by secular feelings, or an unbecoming +participation in the angry turmoils of political life, possessed all +the simple beauty of pure and primitive piety. Father Roche received +his education on the Continent, in several parts of which he has held +ecclesiastical appointments, one being the Presidency of an Irish +College. He consequently speaks most, if not all, of the continental +languages; but so utterly free from display, and so simple are his +manners, that you would not on a first interview, no, nor on a second, +ever suppose the man to be what he is--a most accomplished scholar and +divine. In one thing, however, you never could be mistaken--that his +manners, with all their simplicity, are those of a gentleman, possessing +as they do, all the ease, and, when he chooses, the elegance of a man +who has moved in high and polished society. He has only been a few +years in Ireland. After a glass of wine and some desultory conversation +touching public events and the state of this unfortunate and unsettled +country, upon all of which he spoke with singular good temper and +moderation, we went to see the manufactory, now that I had recovered +from my fatigue. This building is two or three hundred yards from the +house, and as we were on our way there, it so happened that he and I +found ourselves together, and at some distance from M'Loughlin and his +sons. + +"'You were introduced, sir,' said he, 'to me as Mr. Easel.' + +"I bowed. + +"'I am not inquisitive,' he added with a smile, 'because in this case I +do not find it necessary; but I am candid.' + +"I began to feel slightly uneasy, so I only bowed again, but could say +nothing. + +"'I have met you on the continent.' + +"'It is quite possible,' I replied, 'I have been there.' + +"He laid his finger on my shoulder, and added still with a gentle and +significant smile, 'I am in possession of your secret, and I say so, to +take you merely as far as I am concerned, out of a false, and myself +out of a somewhat painful position. It would be embarrassing to me, for +instance, to meet and treat you as that which you are not, knowing as +I do what you are; and it will relieve you from the difficulty of +sustaining a part that is not your own, at least so far as I am +concerned.' + +"'I certainly perceive,' I replied, 'that you are in possession of that, +which in this country, I thought known only to myself and another.' + +"'Your secret,' he said emphatically, 'shall be inviolable.' + +"'I feel it, my good sir,'I replied, 'and now, let me ask, on what part +of the continent did we meet?' + +"Let it suffice to say here, that he brought himself distinctly to my +memory, through the medium of a very kind office performed for a +friend of mine, who, at the time, stood in circumstances not only of +difficulty, but of considerable personal danger. + +"Having viewed the manufactory, which is somewhat of a novelty in this +immediate locality, we were about to take our leave, when four men, +evidently strangers, and each remarkable for that hardened and insolent +look which begets suspicion at a glance, now entered the concern with an +air of ruffian authority, and with all the offensive forms of which the +law is capable, laid on an execution, to the amount of fourteen hundred +pounds. + +"Old M'Loughlin received the intelligence, and witnessed the +proceedings, with a smile, in which there was something that struck me +as being peculiarly manly and independent. + +"'This,' said he, 'although coming from a quarter that I deemed to be +friendly, is the heaviest blow, connected with our business, that we +have received yet. Still, gentlemen,' he proceeded, addressing +Father Roche and myself, 'I trust it won't signify--a mere passing +embarrassment. This manufactory, as you may perceive, complete through +all its machinery, which is of the very best and costliest description, +together with the property in it, is worth five times the amount of the +execution.' + +"'Yes, but you forget,' replied the leading ruffian, 'that property +under an execution isn't to be judged by its real value. In general it +doesn't bring one-tenth, no, nor one-fifteenth of its true value, when +auctioned out, as it will be, under a writ.' + +"'Ay, by Jabers,' said another of them, 'an' what's better still, you +forget that your lease is expired, and that Lord Cumber has sent over +word for you not to get a renewal--nor Harman either.' + +"'Is this true?' I inquired of Father Roche; 'do you imagine it to be +possible?' + +"'That fellow is bad authority for anything,' he replied, 'but I fear +that in this Point, he is too correct. However, let us ask M'Loughlin +himself, who, certainly, has the best right to know.' + +"This I resolved on, not because I was ignorant of the fact, which +you know I had from M'Clutchy himself, but that I might ascertain that +gentleman's mode of transacting business, and his fairness towards Lord +Cumber's tenants. + +"'What this man says, Mr. M'Loughlin, surely cannot be possible--does he +mean to assert that Lord Cumber refused to renew your lease, although +he must be aware that you have expended in the erection of this fine +manufactory a sum not less, I should suppose, than five or six thousand +pounds.' + +"'Seven thousand six hundred,' replied the old man, setting me right, +'nearly four thousand between Harman and us.' + +"'But he does not refuse to renew your leases certainly?' + +"'No,' said M'Loughlin, 'I cannot say that he does; but we have not been +able to get anything like a distinct reply from him on the subject--and, +as far as reports go, they are certainly not in our favor. We have +written to Lord Cumber himself, and the only reply we could obtain was, +that he had placed the whole matter in the hands of M'Clutchy, in whose +justice and integrity, he said, he had the highest confidence, and that +consequently we must abide by his decision. My own impression is, that +he is determined to ruin us, which he certainly will, should he refuse +us a renewal.' + +"'There can be no doubt about it,' said the eldest son, 'nor that his +management of the estate and his general administration of justice are +woefully one-sided.' + +"'I don't choose to hear Mr. M'Clutchy abused,' said the leading fellow, +who, in truth, was one of his blood-hounds, as were all the rest, with +one exception only, 'nor I won't hear him abused. You wouldn't have +him show the same favor to Papists that he would show to good, honest +Protestants, that are staunch and. loyal to Church and State--by Jabers, +that would be nice work! Do you think a man's not to show favor to his +own side, either as a magistrate or agent?--faith that's good!' + +"'And I'll tell you more,' said another of them, addressing John +M'Loughlin, 'do you think, that if he dared to put Papishes on a level +with us, that we'd suffer it? By Gog, you're out of it if you do--we +know a horse of another color, my buck.' + +"'To whom do you address such insolent language as this?' asked the +young man, 'you are here in execution of your duty, and you had better +confine yourself to that.' + +"'To you, my buck, I address it, and to any Papish that doesn't like +it--and if I'm here to discharge my duty, I'll discharge it,' and he +shook his head with insolence as he spoke; 'an' what's more, I'm +afeard of no man--and I'll discharge my duty as I like, that's another +thing--as I like to discharge it. Ha! d--n me, I'm not to be put down by +a parcel of Priests and Papishes, if they were ten times as bad as they +are.' + +"'You are a low ruffian,' replied the young man, 'far beneath my +resentment or my notice; and it is precisely such scoundrels as +you, ignorant and brutal, who bring shame and infamy upon religion +itself--and are a multiplied curse to the country.' + +"'Very well, my buck,' persisted this ferocious bigot, 'may be the day +will come when we'll make you remember this traisen, and swally it too. +How would you like to get a touch of the wreckers, my buck?--an' by +Jabers, take care that you're not in for a lick. A lease! d--n me but +it would be a nice thing to give the like o' you a lease! None o' your +sort, my buck, will get that trick, so long as loyal M'Clutchy's on the +property.' + +"Father Roche having taken the young man's arm, led him away; wishing +to avoid any further altercation with such persons, and immediately +afterwards they set about completing an inventory of all the property, +machinery, etc., in the establishment. + +"'There was one expression used by that man,' I observed, when we +got out again upon the Castle Cumber road, 'which I do not properly +understand; it was, 'how should you like to get a touch of the +wreckers?' + +"'The wreckers, sir,' replied old M'Loughlin, 'are a set of men such as +that fellow we have just been speaking to--brimful of venom and hatred +against Catholics and their religion. Their creed consists of two +principles, one of which I have just mentioned, that is, hatred of +us; the other is a blind attachment to the Orange system. These two +combined, constitute a loyalist of the present day; and with such +impressions operating upon a large mass of men like the fellow inside, +who belong to an ascendant party, and are permitted to carry arms and +ammunition wherever they like, either to search your house or mine, +on the most frivolous pretences, it is not surprising that the country +should be as it is; but it is surprising, that exposed as we are to such +men, without adequate protection, we should possess any attachment at +all to the throne and, constitution of these realms; or to a government +which not only suffers such a state of things to exist, but either +connives at or encourages it. For instance, it was the exhibition of +such principles as you have heard that man avow, that got him and those +who accompany him their appointments; for, I am sorry to say, that there +is no such successful recommendation as this violent party! spirit, even +to situations of the very lowest class. The highest are generally held +by Orangemen, and it is attachment to their system that constitutes +the only passport now-a-days to every office in the country, from the +secretary to the scavenger.' + +"This, I fear, is rather an overtime account of the state of things in +the portion of Ireland from which I write; but, whilst I admit this, +I am far from saying that the faults are all on one side. There are +prejudices equally ferocious, and quite as senseless and ignorant, on +the part of the Roman Catholic party--prejudices resulting sometimes +from education, and sometimes from the want of it; but, which certainly +contribute their full share to the almost disorganized state of society +by which I am surrounded." + + +From the same to the same in continuation. + +"May 10, 18--. My dear Spinageberd---Feeling, as I did, exceedingly +anxious to make myself acquainted with the true principles of the Orange +institutions which have spread themselves so rapidly over the country, I +need scarcely say to you that I left nothing that was fair and honorable +undone, on my part, to accomplish that object; or, in other words, +to ascertain whether their private principles, as a political body, +harmonize with their public practices. It is but fair to render justice +to every party, and consequently it is only right and equitable to +inquire whether the violent outrages committed by the low and ignorant +men who belong to their body, are defensible by the regulations which +are laid down for their guidance. + +"On looking over the general declaration of the objects of the +institution, one is certainly struck by the fairness, and liberality, +and moderation, joined to a becoming avowal of attachment to the +Protestant religion and the throne, which it breathes. Here, however, +it is, _verbatim et literatim_, in its authentic shape, with all that is +good or evil in it laid clearly before you. I deem it right, however, to +preface it by the greater portion of a short but significant Report, to +which are prefixed the following memorable names:-- + +"'At a meeting of the Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland, November 29, 1798. +Present:--Thomas Verner, Grand Master; J. C. Beresford, grand secretary; +R. C. Smith, jun., deputy secretary; H. A. Woodward; J. S. Rochfort; T. +F. Knipe; Samuel Montgomery; Harding Giffard; William Richardson; John +Fisher; William Corbett; W. G. Galway; Francis Gregory. Harding Giffard +and S. Montgomery, Esqrs., reported as follows:-- + +"'Having been honored by the Grand Lodge with instructions to revise and +select a proper system of rules, for the government of Orange Lodges, we +beg leave to make a report of our progress. + +"'We are happy in being able to say, that in our duty upon this +occasion, we received the greatest assistance from the experience of the +Grand Master of Ireland, and his Deputy Grand Secretary, who did us the +honor of imparting to us their sentiments. + +"'Encouraged by their help, we have ventured very materially to alter +the shape of the confused system which was referred to us preserving the +spirit, and, as much as possible, the original words, except where we +had to encounter gross violations of language and grammar. + +"'The general, plan of our proceeding has been this, we have thrown what +are, in our opinion, very improperly called the six first general rules, +into one plain short declaration of the sentiments of the body. + +"'Next in order we have given the qualifications of an Orangeman, +selected from the Antrim regulations, and the rather, as it breathes +a spirit of piety which cannot be too generally diffused throughout an +institution, whose chief object, whatever political shape it may assume, +is to preserve the Protestant Religion. ****** + +"'Samuel Montgomery, "'Henby Giffard. '"Nov. 20, 1798." + + +GENERAL DECLARATION OF THE OBJECTS OF THE ORANGE INSTITUTION. + +"'We associate, to the utmost of our power, to support and defend +his Majesty King George the Third, the constitution and laws of this +country, and the succession to the Throne in his Majesty's illustrious +house, being Protestants; for the defence of our persons and properties; +and to maintain the peace of the country; and _for these purposes to we +will be at all times ready to assist the civil and, military powers in +the just and lawful discharge of their duty_. We also associate in honor +of King William the Third, Prince of Orange, whose name we bear, +as supporters of his glorious memory, and the true religion by him +completely established in these kingdoms. And in order to prove our +gratitude and affection for his name, we will annually celebrate the +victory over James at the Boyne, on the first day of July, O.S., in +every year, which day shall be our grand Era for ever. + +We further declare that we are exclusively a Protestant Association; +yet, detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit, we solemnly pledge +ourselves to each other, _that we will not persecute, injure, or upbraid +any person on account of his religious opinions, PROVIDED THE SAME BE +NOT HOSTILE TO THE STATE_; but that we will, on the contrary, be aiding +and assisting' to every loyal subject, of every religious description, +in protecting him from violence and oppression. + + +Qualifications requisite for an Orangeman. + +"'He should have a sincere love and veneration for his Almighty Maker, +productive of those lively and happy fruits, righteousness and obedience +to his commands; a firm and steadfast faith in the Saviour of the world, +convinced that he is the only mediator between a sinful creature and an +offended Creator--without these he cannot be a Christian; of a humane +and compassionate disposition, and a courteous and affable behavior. He +should be an utter enemy to savage brutality and unchristian cruelty; a +lover of society and improving company; and have a laudable regard for +the Protestant religion, and a sincere desire to propagate its precepts; +zealous in promoting the honor, happiness, and prosperity of his king +and country; heartily desirous of victory and success in those pursuits, +yet convinced and assured that God alone can grant them. He should have +a hatred of cursing and swearing, and taking the name of God in vain (a +shameful practice), and he should use all opportunities of discouraging +it among his brethren. Wisdom and prudence should guide his +actions--honesty and integrity direct his conduct--and the honor and +glory of his king and country be the motives of his endeavors--lastly, +he should pay the strictest attention to a religious observance of the +Sabbath, and also to temperance and sobriety. + + +Obligation of an Orangeman. + +"I, A. B., do solemnly and sincerely swear, of my own free will and +accord, that I will, to the utmost of my power, support and defend the +present king, George III., his heirs and successors, so long as he or +they support the Protestant ascendancy, the constitution, and laws +of these kingdoms; and that I will ever hold sacred the name of our +glorious deliverer, William III., prince of Orange; and I do further +swear, that I am not, nor ever was, a Roman Catholic or Papist; that I +was not, am not, nor ever will be, a United Irishman, and that I never +took the oath of secrecy to that, or any other treasonable society; and +I do further swear, in the presence of Almighty God, that I will always +conceal, and never will reveal, either part or parts of what is now to +be privately communicated to me, until I shall be authorized so to do +by the proper authorities of the Orange institution; that I will neither +write it, nor indite it, stamp, stain, or engrave it, nor cause it so to +be done, on paper, parchment, leaf, bark, stick, or stone, or anything, +so that it may be known; and I do further swear, that I have not, to my +knowledge or belief, been proposed and rejected in, or expelled from +any other Orange Lodge; and that I now become an Orangeman without fear, +bribery, or corruption. + +"'SO HELP ME GOD.' + + +Secret Articles. + +"'1st. That we will bear true allegiance to his majesty, king George +III., his heirs and successors, so long as he or they support the +Protestant ascendancy and that we will faithfully support and maintain +the laws and constitution of these kingdoms. + +"'2d. That we will be true to all Orangemen in all just actions, +neither wronging one, nor seeing him wronged to our knowledge, without +acquainting him thereof. + +'"3d. That we are not to see a brother offended for sixpence or one +shilling, or more, if convenient, which must be returned next meeting if +possible. + +"'4th. We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; that +may bring a brother into trouble. + +"'5th. We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any +person whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an +enemy. + +"'6th. We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is +required, if possible (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or +families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master), +otherwise we are fined as the company think proper. + +"'7th. No man can be made an Orangeman without the unanimous approbation +of the body. + +"'8th. An Orangeman is to keep a brother's secrets as his own, unless in +case of murder, treason, and perjury; and that of his own free will. + +"'9th. No Roman Catholic can be admitted on any account. + +"'10th. Any Orangeman who acts contrary to these rules shall be +expelled, and the same reported to all the Lodges in the kingdom and +elsewhere. + +"'GOD SAVE THE KING.' + + +"Among the Secret Articles are the following, which, by the way, are +pretty significant, when properly understood:-- + +"'4th--We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; that +might bring a brother into trouble.' + +"'5th--We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any +person whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an +enemy.' + +"'6th--We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is +required, if possible, (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or +families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master), +otherwise we are fined as the company think proper.' + +"The Marksman's obligation is merely a repetition of the same +description of allegiance to the king, his heirs, and successors, so +long as he or they maintain the Protestant ascendancy, &c, &c, together +with such other obligations of secrecy as are to be found either in +Orange or Ribbon Lodges, with very slight difference in their form and +expression. + +"Now, my dear Spinageberd, I first call your attention to that portion +which is headed 'Qualifications necessary for an Orangeman;' and I think +you will agree with me that it would be difficult, almost impossible, to +find in any organized society, whether open or secret, a more formidable +code of qualifications for such as may be anxious to enroll themselves +amongst its members. And I have no doubt, that had the other portions of +it been conceived and acted on in the same spirit, Orangeism would +have become a very different system from that which under its name +now influences the principles, and inflames the passions of the lower +classes of Protestants, and stimulates them too frequently to violence, +and outrage, and persecution itself, under a conviction that they +are only discharging their duties by a faithful adherence to its +obligations. These obligations, however, admirable as they are and +ably drawn up, possess neither power nor influence in the system, being +nothing more nor less than an abstract series of religious and moral +duties recommended to practice, but stript of any force of obligation +that might impress them on the heart and principles. They are not +embodied at all in the code in any shape or form that might touch the +conscience or regulate the conduct, but on the contrary, stand there as +a thing to look at and admire, but not as a matter of duty. If they had +been even drawn up as a solemn declaration, asserting on the part of the +newly made member, a conviction that strict observance of their precepts +was an indispensable and necessary part of his obligations as an +Orangeman, they might have been productive of good effect, and raised +the practices of the institution from many of the low and gross +atrocities which disgraced it. I cannot deny, however, that Orangeism, +with all its crimes and outrages, has rendered very important services +to the political Protestantism of the country. In fact, it was produced +at the period of its formation by the almost utter absence of spiritual +religion in the Established Church. Some principle was necessary to keep +Protestantism from falling to pieces, and as a good one could not be +found in a church which is at this moment one mass of sordid and selfish +secularity,* there was nothing left for it but a combination such +as this. Indeed, you could form no conception of the state of the +Protestant Church here, even while I write, although you might form +a very gorgeous one of the Establishment. The truth is she is all +Establishment and no Church; and is, to quote Swift's celebrated +simile-- + + "Like a fat corpse upon a bed, + That rots and stinks in state." + + * Let the reader remember that this, and almost everything + that refers to the Irish Establishment, is supposed to have + been written about forty years ago. + +"There was no purifying or restraining power in the Establishment to +modify, improve, or elevate the principles of Orangeism at all. And what +has been the consequence? Why, that in attempting to infuse her spirit +into the new system she was overmatched herself, and instead of making +Orangeism Christian, the institution has made her Orange. This is fact. +The only thing we have here now in the shape of a Church is the Orange +system, for if you take that away what remains? + +"This, my dear Spinageberd, is not to be wondered at; for no effects are +without their causes. In this country nobody ever dreams of entering the +Established Church, from pure and pious motives. In such a Church piety +may be corrupted, but it is seldom rewarded. No, the description of +persons who now enter the Church are the younger sons of our nobility +and gentry, of our squires, our dignitaries, and wealthy professional +men; of our judges, generals, our deans, and our bishops. Among the sons +of such men the Church is carved out, with the exception of the chines, +and sirloins, and other best joints, all of which are devoured by +peculiar description of Englishmen, named Bishops, who are remarkable +for excessively long claws and very shark-like teeth. In this, however, +we do not blame England, but agree with Dean Swift who asserted, that in +his day, she uniformly selected the most unassuming, learned and pious +individuals she could get; fitted them out as became such excellent +Christian men, and sent them over with the best intentions imaginable, +to instruct the Irish in all Christian truth and humility. It so +happened, however, that as soon as they had reached Hounslow Heath, they +were every man, without exception, stopped, stripped, and robbed, by +the gentlemen who frequent that celebrated locality; who, thinking that +robbery on the high Church was safer and more lucrative than robbery +upon the highway, came over here instead of pious men, where they +remained in their original capacity for the remainder of their lives. + +"It is impossible, in fact, that a Church so deeply infected with +political corruption, so shamefully neglected in all that is spiritual +and regenerative, and so openly prostituted to intrigue and ambition, +can ever work with that high and holy efficacy which should characterize +her. These, however, are not her purposes, nor are they aimed at. She +exists here merely as an unholy bond between the political interests +of the two countries, maintaining British authority by her wealth, and +corrupting Irish honesty by her example. I have already enumerated the +class of persons who enter her, and touched upon the motives by which +they are influenced. In large families, for instance, if there happen +to be a young fellow either too idle, or too stupid for the labor and +duties of the other professions, there is no inconvenience or regret +felt. No matter--he Dick, or Jack, or Tom, as the case may be, will do +very well for the Church. 'You will make a very good parson, Tom--or a +Dean--or a-----no hang it, there I must stop, I was about to say Bishop, +but not being an Englishman, you cannot carve that dish, Dick. Never +mind--you can feed upon a fat living--or if one won't do--why, we must +see and get you a pair of them, Bill.' + +"But this, my dear Spinageberd, is not all. You will be surprised, when +I tell you, that there is no system of education necessary for entering +into orders. No system, I repeat--properly so called--either Scriptural +or Ecclesiastical. Some few divinity lectures are to be attended, which +in general are neither well attended--nor worth attending--and that, I +believe, is all. One thing is certain, that the getting certificates of +attendance for these lectures is a mere form, as is the examination for +orders. The consequence is, that a young candidate for a living goes +into the Church burthened with very little of that lore which might +spoil his appetite for its enjoyment; so harmoniously does everything +here work together for the good of the pastors at the expense of the +people. + +"I think I have shown you that there is little in the Church of Ireland +that is likely to regulate or purify the spirit of Orangeism when coming +in contact with itself. That it had little to gain from the Church in +a spiritual way, and that the Church is not fulfilling the ends of +her establishment here in any sense, is evident from the Report in the +little work from which I have taken these extracts. In that passage +it would appear that the very existence of a Church is forgotten +altogether; for Orangeism is termed 'an institution, whose chief +object--whatever political shape it may assume--is to preserve the +Protestant religion.' I will now, before I close this batch, direct your +attention to one or two passages that prove most distinctly the fact, +that there stand clear in this oath of an Orangeman, principles, founded +on foregone practices and conclusions, which never should have existence +in a country so situated as this is. + +"The Orangemen, for instance, in the paper headed their 'General +Declaration,' say, 'We associate for the defence of our persons and +properties, and to maintain the peace of the country; and for these +purposes we will be at all times ready to assist the civil and military +powers in the just and lawful discharge of their duty.' + +"This, now, is all very plausible, but, perhaps, by looking a little +more closely into the circumstances of the case, we may be able to +perceive that in this passage, and one or two others of a similar +character, the most objectionable part of the system lies disguised--if +one can say disguised, because to me, my dear Spinageberd, the matter +seems obvious enough. Who, then, are these men that come forward with +arms in their hands, to proffer aid to the civil and military powers in +the discharge of their duty? A self-constituted body without authority, +who have certainly proved themselves to be brave men, and rendered most +important services to the state, at a time when such services were, no +doubt, both necessary and acceptable. The crisis, however, in which this +aid was given and received, being but of brief duration, soon passed +away, leaving the party opposed to government--the rebels--broken, +punished, flogged, banished, hanged; in fact, completely discomfited, +subdued, beaten down. In other words, the rebellion of '98 having been +thoroughly suppressed, this self-elected body of men, tasting the sweets +of authority, retain, under different circumstances, these obligations, +which, we admit, the previous situation of the country had rendered +necessary. They retain them in times of peace, and bring into operation +against men who were no longer either in a disposition or capacity to +resist, those strong prejudices and that fierce spirit which, originated +in tumult and civil war. Why, nobody complains of the conduct of +Orangemen, as a, body, in '98; it is of their outrages since, that the +country, and such as were opposed to them, have a right to complain. + +"In another passage the declaration is still stronger and more +significant: 'We further declare,' say they, 'that we are exclusively a +Protestant association; yet, detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit, +we solemnly pledge ourselves to each other, that we will not persecute, +injure, nor upbraid any person on account of his religious opinions, +provided the same be not hostile to the state.' + +'"That is to say, they will persecute, injure, or upbraid such persons +only whose religious opinions are hostile to the state. But, now, let +me ask any man of common sense, if he could for a moment hesitate to +declare on oath what religion they have alluded to as being hostile to +the state? There is, in truth, but one answer to be given--the Roman +Catholic. What else, then, is this excessive loyalty to the state but a +clause of justification for their own excesses, committed in the name, +and on the behalf of religion itself? Did they not also constitute +themselves the judges who were first to determine the nature of these +opinions, and afterwards the authorities who should punish them? Here +is one triumphant party with arms in their hand, who have only, if they +wish, to mark out a victim, and declare his religion and principles +as hostile to the state; and, lo! they are at liberty, by their own +regulations, to 'persecute' him! + +"In the 5th secret article there occurs the following:--'We are not to +carry away money, goods, or anything, from any person whatever, except +arms and ammunition, and these only from an enemy.' + +"This certainly shows the nature of the cruel and domiciliary tyranny +which they, subsequently to '98, carried to such excess in different +parts of the country; and here, as in the other instance, what was there +to guide them in determining the crime which constituted an enemy? +Why, their own fierce prejudices alone. Here, then, we find a body +irresponsible and self-constituted, confederated together, and trained +in the use of arms (but literally unknown to the constitution), sitting, +without any legal authority, upon the religious opinions of a class +that are hateful and obnoxious to them--and, in fact, combining within +themselves the united offices of both judge and executioner. With +the character of their loyalty I have no quarrel; I perceive it is +conditional; but the doctrine of unconditional loyalty is so slavish and +absurd, that the sooner such an unnecessary fetterlock is struck off the +mind the better. To-morrow evening, however, I am to be introduced to an +Orange Lodge, after the actual business of it shall have been transacted +and closed. This is a privilege not conceded to many, but it is one of +which I shall very gladly avail myself, in order that I may infer from +their conduct some faint conception of what it generally is." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX.--An Orange Lodge at Full Work + +--Solomon in all his Glory--He Defines Drinking to be a Religious +Exercise--True Blue and the Equivocal--Phil's Eloquence--A Charter +Toast. + + +From the same to the same. + +"Friday, * * * + +"The order of business for each night of meeting is, I find, as +follows:--1. Lodge to open with prayer, members standing. 2. General +rules read. 3. Members proposed. 4. Reports from committee. 5. Names of +members called over. 6. Members balloted for. 7. Members made. 8. Lodge +to close with prayer, members standing. + +"It was about eight o'clock, when, accompanied by a young fellow named +Graham, we reached the Lodge, which, in violation of one of its own +rules, was held in what was formerly called the Topertoe Tavern, but +which has since been changed to the Castle Cumber Arms--being a field +_per pale_, on which is quartered a purse, and what seems to be an +inverted utensil of lead, hammered into a coronet. In the other is a +large mouth, grinning, opposite to which is a stuffed pocket, from which +hangs the motto, '_ne quid detrimenti res privata capiat_.' Under the +foot of the gentleman is the neck of a famine-struck woman, surrounded +by naked and starving children, and it is by the convenient aid of her +neck that he is enabled to reach the purse, _or_; and, indeed, such is +his eagerness to catch it and the coronet, that he does not seem to +care much whether he strangles her or not. On the leaden coronet, is the +motto, alluding to the head which fills it, '_similis simili gaudet_.' + +"I should mention, before proceeding further, that Mr. Valentine +M'Clutchy, being master of the Lodge in question, was the individual +from whom I had received permission to be present under the +circumstances already specified. The ceremony of making a member is +involved in that ridiculous mystery which is calculated to meet the +vulgar prejudices of low and ignorant men. Sometimes they are made one +by one, and occasionally, or, I believe, more frequently in batches +of three or more, in order to save time and heighten the effect. The +novice, then, before entering the Lodge, is taken into another room, +where he is blindfolded, and desired to denude himself of his shoes +and stockings, his right arm is then taken out of his coat and shirt +sleeves, in order to leave his right shoulder bare. He then enters the +Lodge, where he is received in silence with the exception of the master, +who puts certain queries to him, which must be appropriately answered. +After this he receives on the naked shoulder three smart slaps of +the open hand, as a proof of his willingness to bear every kind +of persecution for the sake of truth--of his steadfastness to the +principles of Orangeism, and of his actual determination to bear +violence, and, if necessary, death itself, rather than abandon it or +betray his brethren. + +"About nine o'clock the business of the Lodge had been despatched, +and in a few minutes I received an intimation to enter from the Deputy +Master, who was no other than the redoubtable and heroic Phil himself; +the father having been prevented from coming, it appeared, by sudden +indisposition. As I entered, they were all seated, to the number of +thirty-five or forty, about a long table, from which rose, reeking and +warm, the powerful exhalations of strong punch. On paying my respects, I +was received and presented to them by Phil, who on this occasion, was +in great feather, being rigged out in all the paraphernalia of Deputy +Master. The rest, also, were dressed in their orange robes, which +certainly gave them a good deal of imposing effect. + +"'Gentlemen,' said Phil,--'Bob Sparrow, I'll trouble you to touch the +bell, and be d--d to you--gentlemen, this is a particular friend of mine +and my father's--that is, we intend to make a good deal of interest in +him, if it's not his own fault, and to push him on in a way that may +serve him--but, then, he's in the dark yet; however, I hope he won't be +long so. This, gentlemen, is Mr. Weasel from England, who has come over +to see the country.' + +"'Your health, Mr. Weasel,' resounded from all sides, 'you're welcome +among us, and so is every friend of brother Captain Phil's.' + +"'Gentlemen,' said I,' I feel much obliged for the cordiality of your +reception--but, allow me to say, that Mr. M'Clutchy has made a slight +mistake in my name, which is Easel, not Weasel.' + +"'Never mind, sir,' they replied, among a jingle of glasses, which +almost prevented me from being heard, 'never mind, Mr. Evil, we don't +care a curse what your name is, provided you're a good Protestant. Your +name may be Belzebub, instead of Evil, or Devil, for that matter--all we +want to know is, whether you're staunch and of the right metal.' + +"'That, gentlemen,' I replied, 'I trust time will tell' + +"'I shall be very proud--I speak it not, I hope, in a worldly sense,' +said a little thin man dressed in black--'no, not in a worldly sense I +shall be proud, sir, of your acquaintance. To me it is quite sufficient +that you are here as the friend of my excellent friend, Mr. Valentine +M'Clutchy; a man, I trust, not without a deep and searching spirit of--' + +"'Come, Solomon,' said a large, broad-shouldered man, with a face in +which were singularly blended the almost incompatible principles of fun +and ferocity, 'Come, Solomon, none of your preaching here so soon--you +know you're not up to the praying point yet, nor within four tumblers of +it. So, as you say yourself, wait for your gifts, my lad.' + +"'Ah, Tom,' replied Solomon with a smile, 'alway's facetious--always +fond of a harmless and edifying jest.' + +"'My name, sir,' added he, 'is M'Slime; I have the honor to be Law Agent +to the Castle Cumber property, and occasionally to transact business +with our friend M'Clutchy.' + +"Here the waiter entered with a glass and tumbler, and Phil desired them +to shove me up the decanter. This, however, I declined, as not being yet +sufficiently accustomed to whiskey punch to be able to drink it without +indisposition. I begged, however, to be allowed to substitute a little +cold sherry and water in its stead. + +"'I'm afeard, sir,' observed another strong-looking man, 'that you are +likely to prove a cool Orangeman on our hands. I never saw the man that +shied his tumbler good for much.' + +"'Sir,' said Solomon, 'you need not feel surprised at the tone of voice +and familiarity in which these persons address you or me. They are, so +to speak, sturdy and independent men, who, to the natural boldness +of their character, add on such occasions as this, something of the +equality and license that are necessarily to be found in an Orange +Lodge. I am myself here, I trust, on different and higher principles. +Indeed it is from a purely religious motive that I come, as well as +to give them the benefit of a frail, but not, I would hope, altogether +unedifying example. Their language makes me often feel now much I stand +in need of grace, and how good it is sometimes for me to be tempted +within my strength. I also drink punch here, lest by declining it I +might get into too strong a feeling of pride, in probably possessing +greater gifts; and I need not say, sir, that a watchful Christian will +be slow to miss any opportunity of keeping himself humble. It is, then, +for this purpose that I sometimes, when among these men, make +myself even as one of them, and humble myself, always with an eye to +edification even to the fourth or fifth cup.' + +"'But I trust, sir, that these Christian descents from your vantage +ground are generally rewarded.' + +"'Without boasting, I trust I may say so. These little sacrifices of +mine are not without their own appropriate compensations. Indeed, it +is seldom that such stretches of duty on the right side, and for the +improvement of others, are made altogether in vain. For instance, after +the humility--if I can call it so--of the third cup, I am rewarded +with an easy uprising of the spiritual man--a greater sense of inward +freedom--an elevation of the soul--a benign beatitude of spirit, that +diffuses a calm, serene happiness through my whole being.' + +"'That, sir, must be delightful.' + +"'It is delightful, but it is what these men--carnal I do not wish to +call them lest I fall--it is, however, what these men--or, indeed, +any merely carnal man, cannot feel. This, however, I feel to be a +communication made to me, that in this thing I should not for the time +stop; and I feel that I am not free to pass the fourth or fifth cup, +knowing as how greater freedom and additional privileges will be +granted.' + +"'Are the stages marked, sir, between the fourth and fifth tumblers?' + +"'Cups, my friend--there is a beauty, sir, in the economy of this that +is not to be concealed. For instance, the line between the third and +fourth cups is much better marked, and no doubt for wiser purposes, than +is that between the fourth and fifth. At the fourth my spirit is filled +with strong devotional tendencies--and it is given to me to address +the Lodge with something like unctional effect; but at the fifth this +ecstatic spirit rises still higher, and assumes the form of praise, and +psalms, spiritual songs, and political anthems. In this whole assembly, +I am sorry to say, that there is but one other humble individual who, +if I may so speak, is similarly gifted, and goes along with me, _pari +passu_, as they say, step by step, and cup by cup, until we reach the +highest order, which is praise. But, indeed, to persons so gifted in +their liquor, drinking is decidedly a religious exercise. That person +is the little fellow to the right of the red-faced man up yonder, the +little fellow I mean, who is pale in the face and wants an eye. His name +is Bob Spaight; he is grand cobbler, by appointment, to the Lodge, and +attends all the Popish executions in the province, from principle; for +he is, between you and me, a Christian man of high privileges. As for +our little touches of _melodia sacra_ during the fifth cup, the only +drawback is, that no matter what the measure of the psalm be, whether +long or short, Bob is sure to sing it either to the tune of _Croppies +lie Down_, or the _Boyne Water_, they being the only two he can manage; +a circumstance which forces us, however otherwise united, to part +company in the melody, unless when moved by compassion for poor Bob, I +occasionally join him in _Croppies lie Down_ or the other tune, for the +purpose of sustaining him as a Christian and Orangeman.' + +"At this time it was with something like effort that he or I could +hear each other as we spoke, and, by the way, it was quite evident that +little Solomon was very nearly in all his glory, from the very slight +liquefaction of language which, might be observed in his conversation. + +"It occurred to me now, that as Solomon's heart was a little bit open, +and as the tide of conversation flowed both loud and tumultuous, it was +a very good opportunity of getting out of him a tolerably fair account +of the persons by whom we were surrounded. I accordingly asked him the +name and occupation of several whom I had observed as the most striking +individuals present. + +"'That large man with the red face,' said I, 'beside your pious and +musical friend Spaight--who is he?' + +"'He is an Orange butcher, sir, who would think very little of giving +a knock on the head to any Protestant who won't deal with him. His +landlord's tenants are about half Catholics and half Protestants, and +as he makes it a point to leave them his custom in about equal degrees, +this fellow--who, between you and me--is right in the principle, if +he would only carry it out a little more quietly--makes it a standing +grievance every lodge night. And, by and by, you will hear them abuse +each other like pickpockets for the same reason. There is a grim-looking +fellow, with the great fists, a blacksmith, who is at deadly enmity +with that light firm-looking man--touching the shoeing of M'Clutchy's +cavalry. Val, who knows a thing or two, if I may so speak, keeps them +one off and the other on so admirably, that he contrives to get his +own horses shod and all his other iron work done, free, _gratis_, for +nothing between them. This is the truth, brother Weasel: in fact my dear +brother Weasel, it is the truth. There are few here who are not moved by +some personal hope or expectation from something or from somebody. Down +there near the door are a set of fellows--whisper in your ear--about as +great scoundrels as you could meet with; insolent, fierce, furious +men, with bad passions and no principles, whose chief delight is to get +drunk--to kick up party feuds in fairs and markets, and who have, in +fact, a natural love for strife. But all are not so. There are many +respectable men here who, though a little touched, as is only natural +after all, by a little cacoethes of self-interest, yet, never suffer it +to interfere with the steadiness and propriety of their conduct, or the +love of peace and good will. It is these men, who, in truth, sustain the +character of the Orange-Institution. These are the men of independence +and education who repress--as far as they can--the turbulence and +outrage of the others. But harken! now they begin.' + +"At this moment the din in the room was excessive. Phil had now begun to +feel the influence of liquor, as was evident from the frequent thumpings +which the table received at his hand--the awful knitting of his +eyebrows, as he commanded silence--and the multiplicity of 'd--n my +honors,' which interlarded his conversation. + +"'Silence, I say,' he shouted; 'd--n my honor if I'll bear this. Here's +Mr. Weasel--eh--Evil, or Devil; d--n my honor, I forget--who has come +ov--over all the way--(All the way from Galloway, is that it?--go +on)--all the way from England, to get a good sample of Protestantism to +bring home with him to distribute among his father's tenantry. Now if +he can't find that among ourselves to-night, where the devil would, or +could, or ought he to go look for it?' + +"'Hurra--bravo--hear brother Captain Phil.' + +"'Yes, gentlemen,' continued Phil, rising up; 'yes, Mr. +Civil--Evil--Devil; d--n my honor, I must be on it now--I am bold to say +that we are--are--a set of--' + +"'Hurra--hurra--we are, brother Captain Phil' + +"'And, gentlemen, not only that, but true blues. (Three cheers for the +Castle Cumber True Blue.) And what's a true blue, gentlemen? I ask +you zealously--I ask you as a gentleman--I ask you as a man--I ask you +determinedly, as one that will do or die, if it comes to that'--(here +there was a thump on the table at every word)--I ask you as an officer +of the Castle Cumber Cavalry--and, gentlemen, let any man that hears +me--that hears me, I say--because, gentlemen, I ask upon independent +principles, as the Deputy-Master of this Lodge, gentlemen--(cheers, +hurra, hurra)--and the question is an important one--one of the greatest +and most extraordinary comprehension, so to speak; because, gentlemen, +it involves--this great question does--it involves the welfare of his +majesty, gentlemen, and of the great and good King William, gentlemen, +who freed us from Pope and Popery, gentlemen, and wooden shoes, +gentlemen--' + +"'But not from wooden spoons, gentlemen,' in a disguised voice from the +lower end of the table. + +"'Eh?--certainly not--certainly not--I thank my worthy brother for +the hint. No, gentlemen, we unfortunately have wooden spoons up to +the present day; but, gentlemen, if we work well together--if we be +in earnest--if we draw the blade and throw away the scabbard, like our +brothers, the glorious heroes of Scullabogue--there is as little doubt, +gentlemen, as that the sun this moment--the moon, gentlemen; I beg +pardon--shines this moment, that we will yet banish wooden spoons, as +the great and good King William did Popery, brass money, and wooden +shoes. Gentlemen, you will excuse me for this warmth; but I am not +ashamed of it--it is the warmth, gentlemen, that keeps us cool in the +moment--the glorious, pious and immortal moment of danger and true +loyalty, and attachment to our Church, which we all love and practise +on constitutional principles. I trust, gentlemen, you will excuse me +for this historical account of my feelings--they are the principles, +gentlemen, of a gentleman--of a man--of an officer of the Castle Cumber +Cavalry--and lastly of him who has the honor--the glorious, pious, +and immortal honor, I may say, to hold the honorable situation of +Deputy-Master of this honorable Lodge. Gentlemen, I propose our charter +toast, with nine times nine--the glorious, pious, and immortal memory. +Take the time, gentlemen, from me--hip, hip, hurra.' + +"'Brother M'Clutchy,' said a solemn-looking man, dressed in black, 'you +are a little out of order--or if not out of order, you have, with +great respect, travelled beyond the usages of the Lodge. In the first +place--of course you will pardon me--I speak with great respect--but, in +the first place, you have proposed the charter toast, before that of +the King, Protestant Ascendancy, Church and State; and besides, have +proposed it with nine times nine, though it is always drunk in solemn +silence.' + +"'In all truth and piety, I deny that,' replied little Bob Spaight. +'When I was in Lodge Eleventeen, eleven-teen--no, seventeen, ay, +seventeen--we always, undher God, drank it with cheers. Some of them +danced--but othes I won't name them, that were more graciously gifted, +chorused it with that blessed air of '_Croppies lie Down_,' and +sometimes with the precious psalm of the '_Boyne Water_.' + +"'I'm obliged to Mr. Hintwell for his observations, for I'm sure they +were well meant; but, gentlemen, with every respect for his--his greater +and more tractable qualifications, I must say, that I acted from zeal, +from zeal--zeal, gentlemen, what's an Orangeman without zeal? I'll tell +you what he is--an Orangeman without zeal is a shadow without a light, +a smoke without a fire,' or a Papist without treason. That's what he's +like, and now, having answered him, I think I may sit down.' + +"Phil, however, whose first night of office it happened to be, as +Chairman of the Lodge, had still sense enough about him to go on with +the toasts in their proper order. He accordingly commenced with the +King, Protestant Ascendancy, the Gates of Bandon, with several other +toasts peculiar to the time and place. At length he rose and said:-- + +"'Gentlemen, are you charged--fill high, gentlemen, for, though it's a +low toast, we'll gloriously rise and drink it--are you all charged?' + +"'All charged, hurra, captain!' + +"'Here, gentlemen, another of our charter toast--The pope in the +pillory, the pillory in hell, and the devils pelting him with priests! +Gentlemen, I cannot let that--that beautiful toast pass without--out +adding a few words to it. Gentlemen it presents a glorious sight, a +glorious, pious, and immortal memory of the great and good--ha, beg +pardon, gentlemen--a glorious, pious, and immortal sight--think of the +pillory, gentlemen, isn't that in itself a glorious and pious sight? And +think of the pope, gentlemen; isn't the pope also a glorious and pious +sight?' + +"'With all truth and piety, and undher God, I deny that,' said Bob +Spaight. + +"'And so do I,' said a second. + +"'And I,' added a third. + +"'What damned Popish doctrine is this?' said several others. + +"'Brother Phil, be good enough to recollect yourself,' said Solomon, +'we feel, that as a Protestant and Orangeman, you are not doctrinally +correct now; be steady, or rather steadfast--fast in the faith.' + +"Phil, however, looked oracles, his whole face and person were literally +being expanded, as it were, with the consciousness of some immediate +triumph. + +"'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'have a little patience--I say the pope is a +glorious and pious sight--' + +"'Undher God--' + +"'Silence Bob.' + +"'But I mean when he's in the pillory--ek; d--n my honor, I have you all +there! ha, ha, ha!' + +"'Hurra, hurra, three cheers more for the captain!' + +"'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'please to fill again--I give you now the +Castle Cumber press, the _True Blue and Equivocal_, with the healths of +Messrs. Yellowboy and Cantwell.' + +"'Hurra! Messrs. Yallowboy and Cant-well! hurra, Mr. Yellow, Mr. +Yellow.' + +"Mr. Yellowboy, who had not been able to come earlier, in consequence of +the morrow being publishing day with him, now rose. He was a tall, thin, +bony-looking person, who might very well have taken his name from his +complexion. + +"'Mr. Chairman, gentlemen, and brothers--I rise with great and powerful +diffidence to speak, to express myself, and to utter my sentiments +before this most respectable, and, what is more, truly loyal +auditory--hem. In returning thanks, gentlemen, for the Castle Cumber +True Blue (cheers), I am sure I am not actuated by any motive but that +staunch and loyal one which stimulates us all--hem. The True Blue, +gentlemen, is conducted--has been conducted--and shall be conducted to +all eternity--should I continue to be so long at the head of it--so long +I say, gentlemen'--here the speaker's eye began to roll--and he slapped +the table with vehemence--'I shall, if at the head of it so long, +conduct it to all eternity upon the self-same, identical, underivating +principles that have identified me with it for the last six months. +What's Pruddestantism, gentlemen, without a bold, straightforward press +to take care of its pruvileges and interests? It's nothing, gentlemen.' + +"'Undher God, sir, and with all piety and perseverance I deny--' + +"'Silence, brother Bob, don't interrupt Mr. Yellowboy, he'll make +himself plain by and by.' + +"'I deny--' + +"'Silence--I say.' + +"'Nothing, gentlemen--a candle that's of no use unless it's lit--and +the press is the match that lights it (hurra, cheers). But, as I said +in defending Pruddestantism, we advocate civil and religious liberty all +over the world--I say so boldly--for, gentlemen, whatever I say, I do +say boldly'--here he glanced at the Equivocal--'I am not the man to +present you with two faces--or I'm not the man rather to carry +two faces--and only show you one of them--I'm not the man to make +prutensions as a defender of civil and religious liberty, with a +Protestant face to the front of my head, and a Popish face in +my pocket--to be produced for the adversary of Popery and +idolatry--whenever I can conciliate a clique by doing so.' Here there +was a look of sarcastic defiance turned upon Cantwell--who, conscious of +his own integrity--merely returned it with a meek and benignant smile, a +la Solomon. + +"'No, gentlemen, I am none of those things--but a bold, honest, +uncompermising Pruddestant--who will support the church and Constitution +for ever--who will uphold Pruddestant Ascendancy to the Day of +Judgment--keep down Popery and treason--and support civil and religious +liberty over the world to all eternity.' + +"'Cheers--hurra--hurra--success brother Yellowboy.' + +"'And now, gentlemen, before I sit down there is but one observation +more that I wish to make. If it was only idontified with myself I would +never notice it--but it's not only idontified with me but with you, +gentlemen--for I am sorry to say there is a snake in the grass--a base, +dangerous, Equivocal, crawling reptile among us--who, wherever truth and +loyalty is concerned, never has a leg to stand upon, or can put a pen +to paper but with a deceitful calumniating attention. He who can divulge +the secrets of our Lodge'--(Here there was another furious look sent +across which received a polite bow and smile as before)--'who can +divulge, gentlemen, the secrets of our Lodge, and allude to those who +have been there--I refer, gentlemen, to a paragraph that appeared in the +Equivocal some time ago--in which a hint was thrown out that I was found +by the editor of that paper lying-drunk in the channel of Castle Cumber +Main-street, opposite his office--that he brought me in, recovered +me, and then helped me home. Now, gentlemen, I'll just mention one +circumstance that will disprove the whole base and calumnious charge--it +is this--on rising next morning I found that I had eight and three +halfpence safe in my pocket--and yet that reptile says that he carried +me into his house!!! Having thus, gentlemen, triumphantly refuted that +charge, I have the pleasure of drinking your healths--the healths of all +honest men, and confusion to those who betray the secrets of an Orange +Lodge!' + +"As each paper had its party in the Lodge, it is not to be supposed that +this attack upon the Editor of the Equivocal was at all received with +unanimous approbation. Far from it. Several hisses were given, which +again were met by cheers, and these by counter cheers. In this +disorder Mr. Cantwell rose, his face beaming with mildness and +benignity--sweetness and smiles--and having bowed, stood all meekness +and patience until the cheering was over. + +"'Brother Cantwell,' said Solomon, 'remember to discard +self-reliance--let thy sup--support be from '--but before he could +finish, brother Cantwell turned round, and blandly bowing to him, seemed +to say--for-he did not speak-- + +"'My dear brother M'Slime, I follow your admirable advice; you see I +do--I shall' + +"'Mr. Chairman,' said he, 'gentlemen and dear brothers'--here he paused +a moment, whilst calmly removing the tumbler out of his way that he +might have room to place his hand upon the table and gently lean towards +the chairman. He then serenely smoothed down the frill of his shirt, +during which his friends cheered--and ere commencing he gave them +another short, and, as it were, parenthetical bow. 'Mr. Chairman, +gentlemen, and dear brothers, I do not rise upon this very unpleasant +occasion--unpleasant to me it is, but not on my account--for the purpose +of giving vent to the coarse effusions of an unlettered mind, that +shapes its vulgar outpourings in bad language and worse feeling. No, I +am incapable of the bad feeling, in the first place, and, thanks to +my education, of illiterate language, in the second. It has pleased my +friend Mr. Yellowboy--if he will still allow me to call him so--for I +appeal to you all whether it becomes those who sit under this hallowed +roof to disagree--it has pleased him, I say, to bring charges against +me, to some of which I certainly must plead guilty--if guilt there be +in it. It has pleased him to charge me with the unbrotherly crime, the +unchristian crime, the un-orange crime'--here he smiled more blandly +at every term, and then brought his smiling eye to bear on his +antagonist--'of lifting him out of the channel about twelve o'clock +at night, where he lay--I may say so among ourselves--in state of most +comfortable, but un-orange-like intoxication.' + +"The audience now being mostly drunk, were tickled with this compliment +to their sobriety, and cheered and shouted for more than a minute. 'Go +on Cantwell! By Japers, you're no blockhead!' + +"'Under Providence, and with all piety I say it, he will vanquish the +yallow sinner over there.' + +"'Brother Cantwell,' observed Mr. M'Slime, 'go on--the gift is not +withheld.' + +"Another smiling bow to M'Slime, as much as to say, 'I know it's not--I +feel it's not.' + +"'This, gentlemen, and dear brothers, was my crime--I acted the good +Samaritan towards him--that was my crime. May I often commit it!' + +"'Is that your pretended charity, sir?' said Yellowboy, whose temper +was sorely tried by the other's calmness; 'don't you know, sir, that you +cannot become the Samaritan unless I become the drunkard? and yet you +hope often to commit it!' + +"No notice whatsoever taken of this. + +"'--But perhaps there was still a greater crime in this affair. I +allude to the crime of having, after the account of his frailty had +taken wind through the whole country, ventured to defend it, or rather +to place it in such a light as might enable the public to place it to +the account of mere animal exhaustion, independent of the real +cause. And I have reason to know, that to a very enlarged extent I +succeeded--for many persons having heard of the circumstance in its +worse and most offensive sense, actually came to my office--' + +"'Yes, after you had made it public, as far as you could.' + +"'--To my office, to inquire into it. And I assure you all, gentlemen, +that from motives at once of the Christian and the Orangeman, I merely +informed them that the gentleman had certainly had, about the time +specified, a very severe fit--I did not add of intoxication--oh the +contrary, I charitably stopped there, and now it would appear that this +forbearance on my part is another crime. But even that is not all. The +occasion which called forth the paragraph in the paper which I have +honor to conduct, was one which I shall just allude to. Some time ago +there was inserted in the True Blue a short article headed 'Susanna and +the Elder,' in which certain vague and idle reports, fabricated by some +person who bears enmity to a most respectable Christian gentleman, who +honors us this moment with his presence--' + +"Solomon here approached him, and grasping his hand, exclaimed-- + +"'Thank you, my dear brother Cantwell--thank you a hundred times; +yours is the part of a true Christian; so go on, I entreat you--here is +nothing to be ashamed of--I know it is good to be tried.' + +"'Now it was really the charity contained in the article from the True +Blue that struck me so forcibly--for it not only breathed the scandal so +gently, as that it would scarcely stain a mirror--and it did not stain +the mirror against which the report was directed--but it placed it as +it were, before his eyes, that he might not be maligned without his +knowledge, on taking steps to triumph over it, which our friend did--and +great was his triumph and meekly was it borne on the occasion. With +respect to my political creed, gentlemen, you all know it is my boast +that I belong to no party. I advocate broad and general principles; and +the more comprehensive they are, so does my love of kind take a wider +range. I am a patriot, that is my boast--a moderate man--an educated +man; I am, at least, a competent master of the English language, which I +trust I can write and speak like a gentleman. I am not given to low +and gross habits of life; I am never found in a state of beastly +intoxication late at night, or early in the day; nor do I suffer my +paper to become the vehicle of gratifying that private slander or +personal resentment which I am not capable of writing myself, and +have not the courage to acknowledge as a man. I am not a poor, kicked, +horse-whipped, and degraded scoundrel, whose malignity is only surpassed +by my cowardice--whose principal delight is to stab in the dark--a +lurking assassin, but not an open murderer--a sneaking, skulking thief, +without the manliness of the highwayman--a pitiful, servile--but, I +believe, I have said enough. Well, gentlemen, I trust I am none of +these; nor am I saying who is. Perhaps it would be impossible to find +them all centred in the same man; but if it were, it would certainly +be quite as extraordinary to find that man seated at an Orange Lodge. +Brother Yellowboy, I have the pleasure of drinking your health.' + +"Brother Yellowboy felt that he was no match at all for Cantwell; so in +order to escape the further venom of his tongue, he drank his in return, +and joined in the cheers with which his speech was received; for by this +time the audience cared not a fig what was said by either party." + + + + +CHAPTER XX.--Sobriety and Loyalty + +--A Checkered Dialogue--The Beauty and Necessity of Human Frailty +--A Burning and Shining Light Going Home in the Dark--The Value of a +Lanthorn. + + +"The character or forms of decency which had hitherto prevailed, now +began to disappear. M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, or wreckers--for they +were indiscriminately termed both--having drank a great deal of liquor, +became quite violent, and nothing now was heard but party songs, loud +talk, and offensive toasts, mingled with a good deal of personal abuse, +and private jealousies of each other's influence with M'Clutchy. + +"'D--n your blood, Grimes, I'm as loyal as ever you were. Wasn't +my grandfather a Tory hunter, who houghed and hanged more bloody +Papishes--' + +"'Who's that,' said Bob, 'talking about hanging Papishes? Where--where +are they to be hanged? Under God, I have seen more of the villains +hanged than any other frail sinner in the province. Oh, it is a +consoling--a sustaining sight!' + +"'What's the reason, then, that the Protestant gentry of the country +don't stand by their own? Why do they deal with Papishes? By Japers they +don't daserve us to stand by them.' + +"'I say, Fulton, it's a d--d lie. I was at the wrecking of the +Ballygrass Threshers, when you shabbed sickness and wouldn't go.' + +"'And I am glad I didn't. A purty business you made of it--to pull down +the houses, and wreck the furniture about the ears of a set of women and +children; I say such conduct is disgraceful to Orangemen.' + +"'An' what the devil right have you to expect the sargeantship, then, +when you won't perform its duties?' + +"'I don't care a d--n about you or it. The Pope in the pillory, the +pillory in h--l--' + +"'--Sent the bullet through his palm, and kept his finger and thumb +together ever since-- + +"'Lerolero lillibullero, lillibullerobuuenela.'-- + + '--Sleet or slaughter, holy water, + Sprinkle the Catholics every one; + Cut them asunder, and make them lie undher, + The Protestant boys will carry their own.--. + +"'They can never stand the guns--the lead makes them fly--and, by +Japers, they'll get it.--' + +"'What health, man? out with it; are we to sit here all night for it?--' + +"'He gets half his bread from a d----d Papish, merely because, he's his +tenant--instead of getting the whole of it from me, that's better than a +tenant, a brother Orangeman-- + + "'King James he pitched his tents between + The lines for to retire; + But King William threw his bomb balls in, + And set them all on fire.'-- + +"In fact the confusion of Babel was nothing to it now, every voice was +loud, and what between singing, swearing, shouting, arguing, drinking +toasts, and howling, of various descriptions, it would not be easy to to +find anything in any other country that could be compared to it. + +"Phil himself was by this time nearly as drunk as any of them, but in +consequence of several hints from those who preserved their sobriety, +and several of them did, he now got to his legs, and called silence. + +"'Silence, sil-sil-silence, I say, d--n my honor if I'll bear this. Do +you think (hiccup) we can separate without drinking the Castle +Cu-Cumber toast. Fill, gentle-(hic-cup)-men, here's Lord Cumber and +the Castle-Castle Cu-Cumber property, with the health of +Sol-Sol-Solo-Solomon M'Slime, Esq.-- + + "'For God will be our king this day, + And I'll be the general over--eh--over--no, no, under.'-- + +"'Under, I believe (hiccup)--' + +"'Silence, there, I say.' + +"'My friends--my dear friends,' said Solomon--'my brothers--Christian +brethren, I should say, for you are Christian brethren--Lord Cumber's +health is a good thing, and his property is a good thing; and I--I +return you thanks for it, as I am bound to do, as a Christian. Am I +Christian? Well--' (here he smiled, and laying his hand upon his heart, +added,) 'well I know what I feel here, that is all. My dear friends, I +said that Lord Cumber's health and property were good things, but I know +a thing that's better, more valuable, richer--and what is that? It +is here, in this poor frail--but not frail so long as that thing is +here--that thing, what is it? Oh, if you had prayed for it, wrestled +for it, fought for it, as I did, you would know what it is, and all the +delightful and elevating consolations it brings along with it. Surely +some one drank Lord Cumber's health! That was well; he sitteth in a high +place, and deserveth honor. Let us drink his health, my friends--let us +drink it, yea, abundantly, even unto rejoicing. But what is this thing? +Why, it is the sense of inward support, a mild, sweet light, that +diffuses pleasant thoughts through you, that multiplies every good gift +about you, that makes one cup of pleasant liquor seem two. It is not +to many that these things are vouchsafed; not, I believe, to any here, +always with humility and fear be it spoken, excepting Bob Spaight and +myself-- + +"'--July the first in Oldbridge town, + +responded Bob, + + "' There was a grievous battle, + Where many a man lay on the ground, + By the cannons that did rattle.'-- + +"'Yea,' pursued Bob, 'the gift is come, brother Solomon--the fifth cup +always brings it-- + +--'King James he pitched his tents between'-- + +"'Aye, but, brother Bob,' resumed Solomon, 'the gift is a little too +soon on this occasion. Let me give the words, and, Bob, if you could +manage the 'Protestant Boys,' rather than 'Croppies lie Down,' it would +suit it; and, indeed, it would be well if the whole congregation joined +us in it. I shall give the words--let me see, long measure, eight lines, +four nines, and four six-sixes;-- + + "'There's nought but care on every hand, + In every hour that passes, oh, + What signifies the life o' man, + An' 'twere not for the lasses, oh." + +eh, let me see--am I right?' + +"'Right,' they shouted, 'never were half so right, Solomon. We'll join +you to a man,' and accordingly, with one voice, they gave the stanza +at the top of their voices, little Bob leading them, to the air of +'Croppies lie Down,' in a style that was perfectly irresistible. + +"Thus ended a night in an Orange Lodge, but not so out of it. Those who +had to go any distance, were armed, and the consequence was, that when +they got into the street, they commenced their usual courses: shots were +fired in every direction, offensive songs were sung--any money for the +face of a Papist--to hell with the Pope--Ram down Catholics, and so +on. At length, by degrees these all ceased, the streets gradually grew +quiet, then still, and another night closed upon the habits of a class +of men, who, in the wantonness of their power, scarcely knew what they +did. + +"Having witnessed the scene just described--a scene that accounted very +clearly for at least one important phase of Irish life--I deemed it full +time to go to bed, this being the inn in which I stop. I accordingly was +about to ascend the staircase, from the lobby, for we sat in the back +drawing-room, when I thought I heard a voice that was not unfamiliar to +me, giving expression to language--in which I could perceive there was +a very peculiar blending of love and devotion; that is to say, it was +exceedingly difficult, from the admirable tact with which he balanced +the application of the two principles, whether Solomon, for it was he, +loved the physical or the spiritual system of the barmaid, for it was +she, with more earnestness and warmth. The family at this time had all +retired for the night, with the exception of boots, and the barmaid in +question, a well made, pretty Irish girl, with a pair of roguish eyes in +her head, that beamed with fun and good humor. Solomon, instead of going +home, had got into a little retired spot behind the bar, called the +snuggery, and into which, of course, she attended him with a glass of +liquor. + +"'Eliza,' said Solomon, 'Eliza, I have often had an intention of asking +you to allow me the privilege and the pleasure, Eliza, of some serious +conversation with you. It is a trying world, a wicked world, and to--to +a girl--so charming a girl as you are, Eliza--' + +"'Charming, Mr. M'Slime; well, well!' + +"'Charming, certainly, as regards your person, your external +person--your person is indeed very charming, and verily, Eliza, this +brandy and water is truly precious, so beautifully blended, that I +cannot--now, Eliza, will you pardon me a small, but, I trust, not +unedifying joke; yes, you will--I know--I see you will--very well, then, +the little joke is pardoned--this brandy and water are so beautifully +blended, that I cannot help thinking there is something in that sweet +hand of yours that diffuses a delicious flavor upon it--I know that such +things exist.' + +"'Upon my word, Mr. M'Slime, from such a religious gentleman as you are, +I didn't expect--' + +"'Ah, my dear Eliza, that is coming to the root of the matter, and I +am glad to find that you are not insensible to it. On that subject, my +sweet girl, and you are a sweet girl--it is that I propose to speak +with you--to commune with you--in a spirit, my dear Eliza, of love and +affection. Will you then take a seat--a seat, my dear Eliza.' + +"'I fear I cannot, sir; you know there is no one else to keep an eye to +the bar.' + +"'The business of the bar, my dear girl, is over for this night; but +not, I trust--sincerely trust--that of the sweet barmaid; do sit, Eliza, +pray be seated, and let me have a word with you in season; thank you, +but not at such a distance, Eliza, such an inconvenient distance; I say +inconvenient--because--ugh, ugh, I have caught a slight cold--as a trial +it came--and I will receive it so, that has fallen for the time--ugh, +ugh, ugh--upon my lungs, and renders it a good deal troublesome to me +to speak loud; so that the nearer you sit--and it has affected my head +a little, only with a slight deafness, though, which--were you speaking, +my dear?' + +"'No, sir.' + +"'Yes, so I thought, you were saying something--will soon pass away.' + +"I thought this dialogue, on the part of M'Slime, too characteristic +to be lost. I accordingly stole somewhat near the snuggery, until I got +into a position from whence I could see them clearly, without being seen +myself. It was quite evident from the humor, which, in spite of a demure +face glinted from her eye, that Eliza's object was to occasion M'Slime +to assume his real character, for I could easily see that from time to +time she felt very considerable difficulty in suppressing her laughter. + +"'The deafness, Eliza, I feel particularly troublesome, though not +painful; as while transacting business it f-forces me to sit so, very +close to my clients.' + +"'But I am not a client, Mr. M'Slime, and you need not draw your chair +so close to me--there now, that will do.' + +"'You are my sweet--sweet girl; you are my client--and you shall be my +client--and upon a most important subject--the most important of all; +verily, Eliza, this is a most delicious cup of refreshment. How did +you flavor it--but, indeed, if I were, as I have been, before I was +graciously called and chosen, I would have recourse to a harmless +gallantry, and say that this most ambrosial beverage must have caught +its sweetness from your lips--its fragrance from your breath--and its +lustre from your eyes--I would say so--if I were as I have been--and, +indeed, as I am--even yet, frail, Eliza, still frail, and very far, +indeed, from perfection--but--still, even as I am I could scarcely +scruple to relapse a little--yea, only a little, Eliza, for the sake of +such lips--of such eyes--and such a fragrant breath. Alas! we are all +frail.' + +"'But, Mr. M'Slime, I surely didn't think that you who stand so high +in the religious world, and that the people look upon as a saint, would +talk as you do.' + +"'Ah, Eliza, my dear girl, it is very natural for you in your hitherto +darkened state to say so; but, sweet Eliza, if you had your privileges, +you could understand me. For instance, in the indulgence of this +precious little dialogue with you, I am only following up a duty that +strengthens myself; for, Eliza, my precious creature, if more light were +given you, you would be permitted to feel that an occasional lapse is +for our good, by showing us our own weakness and how little we can do +of ourselves. No--there is nothing which gives us so much confidence and +strength as to know our own weakness; but, my sweet girl, of what use is +it for us to know it, if we do not feel it; and why feel it--unless we +suffer it for better purposes to teach us a practical lesson to humble +us.' + +"'That's queer doctrine, Mr. M'Slime, and I don't properly understand +it.' + +"'I know you don't, my darling girl; for it has not been given to you, +as yet, to understand it. Nay, it seems, as it were, a stumbling block +to you, in your present state.' + +"'Why, do you think me so very great a sinner, sir?' + +"'Not by acts, Eliza--and what a soft name is Eliza--soft as a pillow +of down--but by condition. You are exalted now, upon pride--not personal +pride, but the pride of position. You think you are incapable of error +or infirmity, but you must be brought--down to a sense of your own +frailty, as it were, for it is upon a consciousness of that, that you +must build.' + +"'That is to say, I must commit sin first, in order to know the grace of +repentance afterwards.' + +"'You put it too strongly, Eliza; but here is the illustration:--You +know it is said 'there is joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, +more than over ninety and nine just men.' And I know many, Eliza, who go +through a long course of virtuous iniquity, in order that their triumph +in the end may be the greater. I have myself practised it on a small +way, and found it refreshing. And now, Eliza, bring me another cup of +brandy and water, even for my stomach's sake; and, Eliza, my +charming girl, put it to those sweet lips--that it may catch the true +fragrance--Christian fragrance I wish I could say--for they are fragrant +lips--and a sweet arm--a full tapering arm you are gifted with. Ah! +Eliza, if you could feel as I feel--nay, it was the chair that was +unsteady--my my heart is dis--dissolving, Eliza. If you were only a +little more frail, my sweet girl--we could feel this a kind of religious +exercise. Oh! these precious little frailties--these precious little +frailties!' + +"'Mr. M'Slime you will excuse me, but I think you have got enough, and a +little too much liquor. If you should be seen going home in an unsteady +state your character would suffer.' + +"'Another cup of refreshment, Eliza--but I am not perfection--no--nor +would I be perfection. What would life be without these precious little +frailties--that make us what we are.' + +"'With all piety and undher------' + +"'Who is that,' inquired the maid, evidently startled, if not affrighted +by a strange voice. + +"'I join--join you, brother M'Slime, for another cup of refreshment.' + +"'Bob Spaight--brother Bob--I am glad you are here; Eliza, my +darling--my dove--another cup for Bob, and after that we shall aid each +other home--will render one another Christian and mutual assistance.' + +"'Yes,' replied Bob, clearing his voice:-- + +(Both voices simultaneously:) + + Bob--'King James he pitched his tents between + + Solomon--'There's naught but care on every hand, + + Bob--'The lines for to retire, + + Solomon--'In every hour that passes, O + + Bob--'But King William threw his bomb balls in, + + Solomon--'What signifies the life o' man, + + Bob--'And set them all on fire.' + + Solomon--'An' 'twerna for the lasses, O!' + +"Many thanks, sweet Eliza--oh! that I could say my frail Eliza; but I +shall be able to say so yet, I trust; I shall be able to say so.' + +"'God forbid,' she replied. 'This is not for you, Mr. M'Slime--I +certainly will give you no more this night. But Bob here is a favorite +of mine. Bob, you will see Mr. M'Slime home?' + +"'In all piety and truth, I shall see that burning and shining light +home,' returned Bob; 'in the meantime I will thank you for the loan of a +lanthorn; the night is one of most unchristian darkness.' + +"Solomon had now reclined his head upon the table as if for sleep, which +he very probably would have indulged in, despite of all opposition; +but just at this moment his horse, car, and servant most opportunely +arrived, and with the aid of Bob, succeeded in getting him away, much +against his own inclination; for it would appear by his language that he +had no intention whatsoever of departing, if left to himself. + +"'I shall not go,' said he; 'it is permitted to me to sojourn here this +night. Where is Eliza? Oh! Eliza, my darling--these precious little +frailties.' + +"'Bring the little hypocrite home out of this,' said she, with a good +deal of indignation; for, in truth, the worthy saint uttered the last +words in so significant a voice, with such a confidential crow, as +might have thrown out intimations not quite favorable to her sense of +propriety on the occasion. He was literally forced out, therefore; but +not until he had made several efforts to grasp Eliza's hand, and to get +his arm around her. + +"'She's a sweet creature--a delightful dove; but too innocent. +Oh! Eliza, these precious little frailties!--these precious little +frailties!' + +"'It's a shame,' said Eliza, 'and a scandal to see any man making such +pretensions to religion, in such a state.' + +"'In all piety and truth,' said Bob, 'I say he's a burning and a shining +light!' + + "' King James he pitched his tents between + Their lines for to retire,' &c., &c. + +"And so they departed, very much to the satisfaction of Eliza and Boots, +who were both obliged to sit up until his departure, although fatigued +with a long day's hard and incessant labor. I also retired to my pillow, +where I lay for a considerable time reflecting on the occurrences of +the night, and the ease with which an ingenious hypocrite may turn the +forms, but not the spirit of religion, to the worst and most iniquitous +purpose." + +* * * * * + +And thus far our friend, Mr. Easel, whom we leave to follow up his +examinations into the state of the Castle Cumber property, and its +management, hoping that discoveries and disclosures may at some future +day be of service to the tenantry on that fine estate, as well as to the +country at large. In the meantime, we beg our readers to accompany us to +the scene of many an act of gross corruption, where jobs, and jobbing, +and selfishness in their worst shapes, aided by knavery, fraud, bigotry, +party rancor, personal hate, and revenge long cherished--where active +loyalty and high political Protestantism, assuming the name of religion, +and all the other passions and prejudices that have been suffered to +scourge the country so long--have often been in full operation, without +check, restraint, or any wholesome responsibility, that might, or could, +or ought to have protected the property of the people from rapine, and +their persons from oppression. The scene we allude to is the Grand Jury +Room of Castle Cumber. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI.--Darby's Piety Rewarded + +--A Protestant Charger, with his Precious Burthen--A Disaffected Hack +supporting a Pillar of the Church--A Political and Religious Discussion +in a Friendly Way + + +The Assizes had now arrived, and the Grand Panel of the county met once +more to transact their fiscal and criminal business. We omit the grand +entry of the Judges, escorted, as they were, by a large military guard, +and the _posse comitatus_ of the county, not omitting to mention a +goodly and imposing array of the gentry and squirearchy of the immediate +and surrounding districts, many of Whom were pranked out in all the +grandeur of their Orange robes. As, however, we are only yet upon our +way there, we beg you to direct your attention to two gentlemen dressed +in black, and mounted each in a peculiar and characteristic manner. +One of them is a large, bloated, but rather handsome, and decidedly +aristocratic looking man, with a vermilion face, mounted upon a splendid +charger, whose blood and action must have been trained to that kind of +subdued but elegant bearing that would seem to indicate, upon the part +of the animal, a consciousness that he too owed a duty to the Church +and Constitution, and had a just right to come within the category of +a staunch and loyal Protestant horse, as being entrusted with the +life, virtues, and dignity of no less a person than the Rev. Phineas +Lucre--all of which are now on his back assembled, as they always are, +in that reverend gentleman's precious person. Here we account at once +for the animal's cautious sobriety of step, and pride and dignity +of action, together with his devoted attachment to the Church and +Constitution by which he lived, and owing to which he wore a coat quite +as sleek, but by no means so black as his master's. The gentleman +by whom he appears to be accompanied, much--if we can judge by their +motions--against his will, seems to be quite as strongly contrasted +to him, as the rough undressed hack upon which he is mounted is to the +sanctified and aristocratic nag that is honored by bearing the Rev. +Phineas Lucre. The hack in question is, nevertheless, a stout +and desperate looking varmint, with a red vindictive eye, moving, +ill-tempered ears, and a tail that seems to be the seat of intellect, +if a person is to take its quick and furious whisking as being given +in reply to Mr. Lucre's observations, or by way of corroboration of the +truth uttered by the huge and able-bodied individual who is astride of +him. That individual is no other than the Rev. Father M'Cabe, who is +dressed in a coat and waistcoat of coarse black broadcloth, somewhat +worse for the wear, a pair of black breeches, deprived of their original +gloss, and a pair of boots well greased with honest hog's lard--the fact +being, that the wonderful discovery of Day and Martin had not then come +to light. Mr. M'Cabe has clearly an unsettled and dissatisfied seat, and +does not sit his horse with the ease and dignity of his companion. In +fact, he feels that matters are not proceeding as he could wish, neither +does the hack at all appear to bear cordiality or affection to the state +which keeps him on such short commons. They are, by no means, either of +them in a state of peace or patience with the powers that be, and when +the priest, at the conclusion of every sentence, gives the garran an +angry dash of the spurs, as much as to say, was not that observation +right, no man could mistake the venomous spirit in which the tail is +whisked, and the head shaken, in reply. + +It is scarcely necessary to say that either Mr. Lucre or Mr. M'Cabe +were at all upon terms of intimacy. Mr. M'Cabe considered Mr. Lucre as a +wealthy epicure, fat and heretical; whilst Mr. Lucre looked upon Father +McCabe as vulgar and idolatrous. It was impossible, in fact, that +with such an opinion of each other, they could for a moment agree in +anything, or meet as men qualified by the virtues of their station to +discharge on any one duty in common. On the day in question, Mr. Lucre +was riding towards Castle Cumber, with the pious intention of getting +Darby O'Drive's appointment to the under jailorship confirmed. This was +one motive, but there was another still stronger, which was, to have +an interview with the leading men of the Grand Jury, for the purpose of +getting a new road run past his Glebe House, in the first place, and, +in the next, to secure a good job for himself, as a magistrate. At all +events he was proceeding towards Castle Cumber, apparently engaged in +the contemplation of some important subject, but whether it was the new +road to his glebe, or the old one to heaven, is beyond our penetration +to determine. Be this as it may, such was his abstraction, that he +noticed not the Rev. Father M'Cabe, who had ridden for some time along +with him, until that gentleman thought proper to break the ice of +ceremony, and address him. + +"Sir, your most obedient," said the priest; "excuse my freedom--I am the +Rev. Mr. M'Cabe, Catholic Curate of Castle Cumber; but as I reside in +the parish it is very possible you don't know me." + +Mr. Lucre felt much hurt at the insinuation thrown out against his long +absence from the parish and replied:-- + +"I do not, sir, in the least regret our want of intimacy. The character +of your ministry in the parish is such, that he who can congratulate +himself on not being acquainted with you has something to boast of. +Excuse me, sir, but I beg to assure you, that I am not at all solicitous +of the honor of your company." + +"Touching my ministry," said the priest, "which it pleases you to +condemn, I'd have you to know, that I will teach my people how to resist +oppression so long as I am able to teach them anything. I will not allow +them to remain tame drudges under burthens that make you and such as you +as fat and proud as Lucifer." + +"I request you will be good enough, sir, to take some other way," said +Mr. Lucre; "you are a rude and vulgar person whom I neither know nor +wish to know. The pike and torch, sir, are congenial weapons to such a +mind as yours; I do beg you will take some other way, and not continue +to annoy me any longer." + +"This way, man alive--" + +"Man alive! To whom do you address such, a term?" said Mr. Lucre; "I +really have never met so very vulgar a person; I am quite sickened, upon +my honor. Man alive!! I trust I shall soon get rid of you." + +"This way, man alive," responded the priest, "is as free to me, in spite +of corrupt jobs and grand juries, as it is to you or any other tyrant, +whether spiritual or temporal. If there are turbulence and disturbances +in this parish, it is because bad laws, unjustly administered, drive the +people, first, into poverty, and then into resistance. And, sir, you are +not to tell me, for I will not believe it, that a bad law, dishonestly +and partially administered, is not to be resisted by every legal means." + +"Do you call noon-day murder, midnight assassination, and incendiarism, +legal? Do you call schooling the people into rebellion, and +familiarizing them with crime, legal? All this may be allegiance to your +pope, but it deserves a halter from the king and laws, of England." + +"The king and laws of England, sir, have ever been more liberal of +halters to the Irish Catholics, than they have been of either common +justice or fair play. What do the Catholic people get, or have ever +got, from you and such as you, in return for the luxury which you draw, +without thanks, from their sweat and labor, but gaols, and chains, and +scourges, and halters. Hanging, and transportations, triangles, and +drumhead verdicts, are admirable means to conciliate the Catholic people +of Ireland." + +"The Catholic people of Ireland may thank you, and such red hot +intemperate men as you, for the hangings, and transportations which the +violated laws of the country justly awarded them." + +"And have you, sir, who wring the blood and sweat out of them, the +audacity to use such language to me? Did not your English kings and your +English laws make education a crime, and did you not then most +inhumanly and cruelly punish us for the offences which want of education +occasioned?" + +"Yes; because you made such knowledge as you then acquired, the vehicle, +as you are doing now, of spreading abroad disaffection against Church +and State, and of disturbing the peace of the country." + +"Because, proud parson, when the people become enlightened by education, +they insist, and will insist upon their rights, and refuse to be pressed +to death by such a bloated and blood-sucking incubus as your Established +Church." + +"If this be true, then, upon your own showing, you ought to be favorable +to education among the people; but that, we know you are not. You have +no schools; and you will not suffer us, who are willing, to educate them +for you." + +"Certainly not, we have no notion to sit tamely by and see you, and such +as you, instil your own principles into our flocks. But in talking of +education, in what state, let me ask you, is your own church in this +blessed year of 1804, with all her wealth and splendor at her back? I +tell you, sir, in every district where the population is equal, we can +show two Catholic schools for your one. When you impute our poverty, +sir, as a reluctance to educate our people, you utter a libel against +the Catholic priesthood of Ireland for which you deserve to be +prosecuted in a court of justice, and nailed snugly to the pillory +afterwards." + +"Nailed snugly to the pillory! I never felt myself so much degraded as +by this conversation with you." + +"Sir, the Catholic priesthood have always been at their duty at the bed +of sickness, and sorrow, and death, among the poor and afflicted; where +you, who live by their hard and slavish labor, have never been known to +show your red nose." + +"Red nose--ha--ha--dear me, how well bred, how admirably accomplished, +and how finely polished. Red nose!" + +"Faith, you did well to correct me, it is only a mulberry. Wasn't your +Irish Establishment in a blessed torpor--dying like a plethoric parson +after his venison or turtle, until ould Jack Wesley roused it? Then, +indeed, when you saw your flocks running to barns and hedges after +the black caps, and the high-cheeked disciples of sanctity and strong +dinners--you yawned, rubbed your eyes, stroked your dewlaps, and waddled +off to fight in your own defence against the long-winded invaders of +your rounds and sirloins. Where was your love of education before that +shock, my worthy Bible man? Faith, I'm peppering you!" + +"Sir, if I could have anticipated such very vulgar insolence, I would +have taken some other way. Why obtrude yourself thus upon me? I trust +you have no notion of personal Violence?" + +"Wesley nudged you." + +"Nudged us! I do not understand your slang at all, my good sir. Those +who are taken from the ditch to the college, and sent back from the +college with the crust of their original prejudices hardened upon them, +are not those from whom educated men are to expect refinement or good +manners." + +"From the ditch! We are taken from humble life, proud parson, to the +college; and it is better to enter college from the simplicity of +humble life, than to enter the church with the rank savor of fashionable +profligacy strong upon us. Not a bad preparation for a carnal +establishment, where every temptation is presented to glut every +passion." + +"You forget, sir, what a system of abomination your church was before +the light of the Reformation came upon her; and what a mockery of +religion she is to this day." + +"Whatever I may forget, I cannot but remember the mockery of religion +presented by your proud and bloated Bishops who roll in wealth, +indolence, and sensuality; robbing the poor, whilst they themselves go +to h--l worth hundreds of thousands. I cannot forget that your church is +a market for venal and titled slaves, who are bought by the minister of +the day to uphold his party--that it is a carcass thrown to the wolfish, +sons and brothers of the English and Irish aristocracy--and that +its bishops and dignitaries exceed in pride, violence of temper, and +insolence of deportment, any other class of persons in society. Sure +they have their chaplains to pray for them--but my soul to glory--those +that pray by proxy will go to heaven by proxy--and so they ought. +Eh--faith I'm peppering you." + +"_De te fabula narratur_. Don't you live by praying for others? What are +your masses?" + +"Fabula, why, a fibula for your fabula, man alive. What is your new +fangled creed, but a fabula from the beginning?" + +"And are you yourself not a hireling in every sense of the word? Do you +not make merchandise of the crimes and ignorance of your people?" + +"Make merchandise! This from you who take away a tenth part of the poor +man's labor without the consciousness of even professing his creed?" + +"Do you ever worship the Lord aright, or address him in any language +which the people can understand?" + +"And do you ever seek salvation with half the zeal displayed when you +lay your keen nostril to the trail of a fresh benefice or a fat mitre. +Do you not, most of you, think more of your hounds and kennels, than you +do of either your churches or your flocks?" + +Mr. Lucre at length pulled up his horse and fixing his eyes on Father +M'Cabe, inquired why he should have fastened upon him in so offensive a +manner; and Mr. M'Cabe pulling up the hack we spoke of, fixed a pair of +fiery orbs on him in return, and replied-- + +"I haven't done with you yet, my worthy parson. You needn't scowl, I +say, for if you had as many chins upon you as there are articles in +your creed, I wouldn't be prevented from bringing you to an account for +interfering with my flock." + +"Rude and wretched man, how?" + +"By attempting to pervert Darby O'Drive, the bailiff, and seduce him +over to your heresies." + +"I would bring him over from his idolatry and superstition. But why do +you, sir, tamper with a man--named--named--let me see--Bob--Bob Beatty, +I think, who belongs to my congregation?" + +"Simply because I wish to bring him over from a false church to the true +one." + +"It appears that because this simple person has been afflicted with +epilepsy, you have attempted, through some pious juggling or other, +to effect his cure, by enjoining him not to enter a church door or eat +swine's flesh during his life. Are you not ashamed, sir, of such ungodly +frauds as this?" + +"Swine's flesh! Call it bacon, man alive, like a man. Yes, and I tell +you moreover, that I have cured him--and with a blessing shall cure him +better still, if that is any consolation to you. From being a purple +Orangeman, I have him now hard at work every day at his _Padderheen +Partha_. But I now caution you not to unsettle the religious principles +of Darby O'Drive, the bailiff." + +"Why, sir, the man has no religious opinion, nor ever had; thanks to Mr. +M'Cabe." + +"And I'm bound to say, that such a thickheaded villian in religious +matters as Bob Beatty I never met. God knows I had a sore handful of +him. So, now remember my caution, and good bye to you; I think you'll +know me again when you meet me." + +Lucre gave him a haughty scowl ere the priest turned off a bridle road, +but made no other reply--not even by inclining his head to him; but, +indeed, it was hardly to be expected that he should. + +Such is the anxiety to snap up a convert in Ireland, it matters not from +what church or to what church, that Mr. Lucre lost no time in securing +the appointment of honest Darby to the office of Castle Cumber Deputy +Goaler--an appointment to which both M'Clutchy and M'Slime strongly +recommended him, not certainly from an excess of affection towards that +simple and worthy man, but from a misgiving that an important portion +of a certain correspondence in the shape of two letters was in his +possession, and that so far they were prudent in declining to provoke +his enmity. + + + + +CHAPTEK XXII.---Castle Cumber Grand Jury Room + +--A Concientious Hangman--Way to a Glebe House of More Importance than +the Way to Heaven--Irish Method of Dispensing Justice--Short Debate +on the Spy System--Genealogical Memoranda--Patriotic Presentments--A +Riverless Bridge + + +We pass now, however, to the Grand Jury Room of the county, and truly as +a subordinate tribunal for aiding the administration of justice, it was, +at the time of which we write, one of the most anomalous exhibitions +that could be witnessed. It was a long room, about thirty-six or forty +feet in length, by thirty, with a fire-place at each end, and one or two +at the sides. Above the chimney-piece was an oil painting of William +the Third, together with a small bronze equestrian statue of the same +prince, and another of George the Third. There were some other portraits +of past and present jurors, presented by themselves or their friends. +But there was certainly one which we cannot omit, although by whom +presented, or on what occasion, we are wholly unable to inform the +reader. We are inclined to think it must have been placed there by some +satirical wag, who wished to ridicule the extent to which mere royalty +was carried in those days, and the warmth of admiration with which its +most besotted manifestations were received. The picture in question was +the portrait of a pious hangman, who was too conscientious to hang any +one but a Papist. They called him Jerry Giles; a little squat fellow, +with a face like a triangle, a broken nose, and a pair of misplaced or +ill-matched eye-brows, one of them being nearly an inch higher up the +forehead than the other. Jerry, it seems, had his own opinions, one of +which was, that there existed no law in the constitution for hanging a +Protestant. He said that if he were to hang a Protestant felon, he +would be forced to consider it in his conscience only another name for +suicide; and that, with a blessing, he would string up none but +such vile wretches as were out of the pale of the constitution, and +consequently not entitled to any political grace or salvation whatever. +And, indeed, upon the principles of the day, the portrait of Jerry was +nearly as well entitled to be hung among the grand jurors as that of any +one there. + +Seated about a long table, covered with green baize, were a number of +men, with papers before them; whilst grouped in different parts of the +room were the younger persons, amusing themselves by the accidents of +the last meet--if it happened to be the hunting season--or the last +duel, or the last female victim to the corruption and profligacy of +some of those from whom, the people were to expect justice, and their +families protection. Others were whistling or humming some favorite air; +and one of them, a poet, was reading a squib which he had prepared for +the forthcoming election. + +"Deaker, come here," said the Foreman, "you are up to everything. Here +is Lucre, the parson, wants to have a presentment for a new line of road +running through his glebe, or to his glebe--for I suppose it is the same +thing." + +"Well," replied Deaker, "and let him have it. Isn't he as well entitled +to a job as any of us? What the devil--why not put a few feathers in his +nest, man? The county has a broad back." + +"His nest is better feathered than he deserves. He has two enormous +livings, a good private fortune, and now, indeed, he must come to saddle +himself upon the county in the shape of a job." + +"He has rendered good service, Mr. Hartley," replied another of them; +"good service to the government, sir, with every respect for your +wonderful liberality and honesty." + +"What do you mean, sir?" asked Hartley, sternly; "do you throw out any +imputation against my honor or my honesty?" + +"Oh, Lord, no--by no means; I have no relish at all for your cold lead, +Mr. Hartley--only that I don't think you stand the best chance in the +world of being returned for Castle Cumber, sir--that is all." + +"Hartley," asked another, with a loud laugh, "is it true that your +cousin, on bringing a message to young Phil M'Clutchy, pulled his nose, +and kicked him _a posteriore_ round the room?" + +"Ask his father, Dick," said Hartley, smiling; "I have heard he was +present, and, of course, he knows best." + +"I say, Vulture," inquired the other, "is it true?" + +"Ay," returned old Deaker, "as true as the nose on your face. That +precious Phil, was a cowardly whelp all his life--so was his father. +D--n you, sirra; where did you get your cowardice? I'm sure it was +not from me; that is if you be mine, which is a rather problematical +circumstance; for I take it you are as likely to be the descent of some +rascally turnkey or hatchman, and be hanged to you, as mine." + +"Is it true, Val," persisted the former querist, "that young Hartley +pulled Phil's nose?" + +"We have come here for other purposes, Dick," said Val. "Certainly Phil +did not wish to strike the young man in his own house, and had more +sense than to violate the peace in the presence of a magistrate, and +that magistrate his own father." + +"How the devil did he put his comether on M'Loughlin's pretty daughter, +Val?" asked another from a different part of the room. + +"That," said Deaker, "is the only spirited thing I ever knew him to +manage. Is it true, Val, that he was found in her bedroom?" + +"It is certainly true," replied Val, with a smile of peculiar meaning; +"and with her own consent too." + +"That's false, Val," replied Hartley; "and you know it. That he was in +her room for a couple of minutes is true; but that he was there for +any purpose prejudicial to her honor, that is, with her own consent, +is false. The whole thing was a cowardly trick on the part of your son, +concocted by the aid of old Poll Doolin, for the purpose of injuring the +girl's reputation." + +"Ay," said old Deaker, "I dare say you are right, Hartley, if Poll +Doolin was in it; but, d--n her, she's dangerous, even at a distance, +if all that's said of her be true. I say, Spavin"--this was a nickname +given to the Foreman, in consequence of a slight halt or lameness +for which he was remarkable--"are we not to find bills for something, +against Harman, who is about to be married to that wench." + +"What," said Hartley, laughing, "is it on that account? I think if you +said so Deaker, you'd not be very far from the truth." + +"He murdered one of my fellows," said M'Clutchy, "one of the staunchest +Protestants and loyalest men that ever was in the country; and, what is +more, he did it in cold blood." + +"You were not present," said Hartley, "and consequently have no right to +attempt to prejudice the minds of the jury against him." + +"We shall find the bills for all that," said Spavin, "the interference +of such fellows in the execution of the laws must be put a stop to." + +"You are right, Spavin," said Sir William; "if we can't hang him, let us +send him across. He had no business to touch the hair of a blood-hound's +head. Gad, Hartley, this is pretty justice, isn't it? why didn't the +disloyal rascal stand and let himself be shot in obedience to the spirit +of the constitution, rather than molest a blood-hound. I tell you, my +good friends, that this method of managing things will bring about its +own remedy yet." + +"Oh, Sir William, you and Hartley would run well in a chaise +together--both always for the rebels." + +"Whom do you call the rebels?" + +"Why the Papists, to be sure." + +"No more rebels, Moore, than you are," replied Hartley--"I find a Papist +as good as another man, if he's as well and as fairly treated." + +"Irwin," said a large gouty man, whose legs were wrapped in flannel, "of +course you've heard of Sir William's method of dispensing justice. Will +that too, sir, find its own remedy--eh? ha, ha, ha; d------e, it's the +most novel thing going." + +"No--how is it, Anderson?" + +"Why, if two neighbors chance to fall out, or have a quarrel, and if it +happens also that they come to take the law of one another, as they +call it, what does the worthy baronet do, do you imagine? 'Well, my good +fellow,' proceeds our justice, 'you want to take the law of this man?' + +"'Yes, your honor.' + +"'And you want to take the law of him,' addressing the other. + +"'I do, the rascal.' + +"'Very well, my good friends, if you wish to get law you have come to +the wrong shop for it--we deal in nothing but justice here: so if you +prefer justice to law, you shall have it.' + +"'Whichever your honor thinks is best for us.' + +"'Very well, then; are you able to fight this man?' + +"'Ha, ha, is it there you are, Sir William?' says the fellow, +brightening, 'able is it! ay, and willing too.' + +"'And,' says the baronet, addressing the other again, 'are you a match +for him, do you think?' + +"'Say no more, Sir William; only it was surely the Lord put the words +into your mouth.' + +"'But,' proceeds Sir W., 'mark me, if you don't both abide by this +battle--if either of you, no matter which is beaten, shall attempt to +get law elsewhere, upon my honor and soul, I will prosecute you both.' +The justice being well furnished with a sheaf of cudgels for the +purpose, selects one for each, brings them quietly to the stable yard +where he lets them fight it out, each having first solemnly promised to +abide the result." + +"Is that true, baronet?" + +"Perfectly true," replied Sir William; "but I fear that like some of +your wise and impartial proceedings here, it will soon work its own +cure. The business has increased so damnably--this dispensation of +justice I mean--on my hands, that my stable yard resembles a fives +court rather than anything else I know. The method harmonizes with their +habits so beautifully, that if there is an angry word between them it is +only 'd--n you, are you for Sir W.?' 'Yes, you villain step out.' They +accordingly come, and as they touch their hats, I ask, well, my good +fellows, what do you want now? 'Not law Sir William, but justice--the +cudgels, plase your honor.' In the beginning I was in the habit of +making them relate the cause of quarrel first, and then fight it out +afterwards, but experience soon taught me that all this was a mere waste +of time. In general now, I pass all that by; the complainants have their +comfortable fight, as they say, and go home perfectly satisfied." + +"Here, you secretary, what the devil are you at there? Why d-----e, +it wasn't to toss half crowns with that rascal of a treasurer you came +here, sir; let us get through the business, and then you may both toss +off to the devil, where you'll go at last." + +"Why," said the secretary, "I placed the papers all arranged in proper +order before you." + +"Yes, sir; I suppose you did; but who the devil can keep anything or +anybody in order, in such a Babel as this? Beevor, I'll thank you to +postpone the singing of your squib for the election; or take to the +street when our business is over, and give it to the crowd." + +"You be d----d, Spavin," replied Beevor; + +"I'll finish it, if the devil was at the back door." + +"Darcy," said Deaker, addressing a thin, red-faced man beside him, "I +saw a pretty bit of goods in Castle Cumber market on Thursday." + +"Why, Deaker," replied the other, "is it possible that with one foot +and more than half your body in the grave, and your shadow in h--l, you +sinner, you have not yet given up your profligacy." + +"Eat, drink, and be merry, Tom, for tomorrow we die; but about this +pretty bit of goods--I tried to price her, but it wouldn't do; and when +I pressed hard, what do you think of the little tit, but put herself +under the protection of old Priest Roche, and told him I had insulted +her." + +"Who is she, Deaker?" inquired a young fellow with a good deal of +libertine interest. + +"Ah, Bob," replied Deaker, laughing; "there you are, one of the holy +triad. Here, Baronet--did you ever hear what Mad Jolly-block, their +father, the drinking parson of Mount Carnal, as some one christened his +residence, said of his three sons?--and that chap there's one of them." + +"No; let us hear it." + +"'Dan,' said the father, speaking of the eldest, 'would eat the devil; +Jack,' the second, 'would drink the devil; and Bob, this chap here, +'would both eat and drink him, in the first, place, and outwit him +afterwards.' That's Bob, the youngest--he there with a lip like a +dropsical sausage. He has sent him here to pick up a little honesty, and +much loyalty." + +"And a great deal of morality," replied Bob, laughing, "from Deaker the +virtuous." + +"No, no," replied Deaker; "you need never leave your Reverend father's +wing for that." + +"Deaker, do you fleece the poor as much as ever?" replied Bob. + +"Ah, you are another sweet Agent, as times go. Do you touch them at the +renewals as usual?" + +"Egad, Bob, I was very good at that; but there's an unmatrimonial son of +mine, Val the Vulture, there, and d--me, when I look back upon my life, +and compare it with his, it's enough to make me repent of my humanity, +to think of the opportunities I have neglected." + +"Gentlemen," observed Hartley, "it strikes me, no matter what the +multiplicity of other virtues we possess, there is somehow nothing like +a superabundance of shame among us; we appear to glory in our vices." + +"Why confound it, Hartley," replied Deaker, "where's the use of assuming +what we do not and cannot feel? Would you have me preach honesty, who am +as d----d a rogue as there is here? Indeed, with the exception of that +whelp of mine, I believe the greatest--but that fellow's my master." + +"Nobody can quarrel with your candor, Deaker, because it's all at your +own expense," said the treasurer. + +"Egad, and here it is at yours, Gilburne; with the exception always of +myself and my son, you are the deepest rogue here--and I am very much +afraid that your securities will be of my opinion when it is too late." +He laughed heartily at this; and then, as usual, took to whistling his +favorite tune of the Boyne Water. + +Our readers may perceive that there was among them an open, hardy scorn +not only of all shame, but of the very forms of common decency and +self-respect. The feelings, the habits, the practices, the distribution +of jobs and of jobbings, the exercise of petty authority, party spirit, +and personal resentment, all went the same way, and took the same bent; +because, in point of fact, there was in this little assembly of +village tyrants, no such thing as an opposition--for three or four--were +nothing--no balance of feeling--no division of opinion--and consequently +no check upon the double profligacy of practice and principle, which +went forward under circumstances where there existed a complete sense of +security, and an utter absence of all responsibility. + +"Gentlemen, we are losing a great deal of time unnecessarily," observed +M'Clutchy, "let us first get through the business, and afterwards we +will be more at leisure for this trifling. The bills for Harman are not +yet found." + +"Not found," replied Spavin, "why how soft you are, Val." + +"Why they are not," reiterated Val. + +"And why are they not?" + +"Ask Counsellor Browbeater, the hard-faced barrister, that has the right +of Black Trot in the Castle, and he will tell you." + +"We all know that very well, Val, no thanks to your squeamishness," +observed Deaker; "the truth is, he did not wish to let him out for a +reason he has," he added, winking at the rest. + +"Let us hear the calendar," said Hartley, "and got through the business +as quickly as we can, secretary." + +"Is that Browbeater," asked Sir William, "who was engaged in the spy +system a little before I returned from England--a d----d scandalous +transaction." + +"The spy system, Sir William, is a very useful one to government," +replied Val, "and they would be devilish fools if they did not encourage +it." + +"That may be your opinion, Mr. M'Clutchy," said Sir William, "and your +practice, for aught I know; but, permit me to say, that it is not the +opinion of a gentleman, a man of honor, nor of any honest man, however +humble." + +"I perfectly agree with you, Sir William," said Hartley, "and I despise +the government which can stoop to such discreditable treachery, for it +is nothing else. The government that could adopt such a tool as this +Browbeater, would not scruple to violate the sanctity either of private +life or public confidence, if it suited their interest--nay, I question +whether they would not be guilty of a felony itself, and open the very +letters in the post-office, which are placed there under the sacred seal +of public faith. However, never mind; proceed with the calendar." + +"Here is the case of some of your wreckers, M'Clutchy, charged here with +illegally, maliciously, and violently pulling down several houses in +the village of Crockaniska--assaulting and maltreating the unoffending +inhabitants." + +"Halt there a moment," said Val; "rebels, every man of the said +inhabitants, which I can prove. My men, who are remarkable for their +Protestantism and loyalty, went upon private information--" + +"More of the spy system," said Hartley, smiling. + +"Mr. Hartley, you may smile, but truth is truth," replied Val; "we had +private information that they had arms and rebellious papers, and the +latter we have got under the thatch of their cabins." + +"Private information!--still more of the spy system," repeated Hartley, +smiling again. + +"But not the arms?" asked Sir William. + +"No, Sir William, not the arms; the rebels were too quick for us there." + +"Then, they expected you it seems," observed Hartley; "and, if so, when +taking away the arms, I am anxious to know why they should have been +such fools as to leave the papers behind them." + +"I am not here to account for their conduct, sir," replied Val, "but to +state the facts as they occurred--they may, for instance, not have had +time to bring them. It is not a month, for instance, since my fellows +in Still hunting--and talking of that, Mr. Hartley, will you allow me +to send you a couple of kegs of such stuff as is not to be had on every +hill head; I offer it from pure good will, for I really regret that +there should be any want of cordiality between our families." + +"Our families," asked Hartley, with a look of surprise and indignation, +"our families, sir! what do you mean?" + +"Oh, damn it, Hartley, don't explode; I mean nothing offensive between +us--then, dropping the families," said Val, fawningly, for he saw the +other's nostril begin to dilate-- + +"And, you cowardly hound, why should you drop the families," inquired +Deaker, taking fire; "do you forget, sirra, who your father was?" + +"And do you forget, sirra," resumed Hartley, "who your mother is?" + +"Damn it," replied Val, still with fawning good-humor, "how am I +accountable for their conduct before I had existence? I neither made +them as they were, nor as they are." + +"Then have the modesty," said Hartley, "to forbear any allusion to them, +especially in the way of comparison." + +"For one of them, Hartley, I reply," said Deaker, "that he is of a +better family than yourself; and don't imagine, my worthy fellow, that +however you may browbeat others, you will be permitted to bully or +browbeat me. I say, sir, there is better blood in my veins than ever ran +through yours." + +"I had no intention of bullying or browbeating any man here," replied +Hartley, "much less one whose age and virtues must prevent him--" + +"Not from meeting you like a man," said Deaker; "old as I am, I can yet +stand my ground, or if not, d--n me, I can tie a stake to my bottom, and +you may take that as a proof that I won't run away." + +"Nobody suspects you for that," said the other. "Out of the long +catalogue of human virtues, courage is the only one loft you, or indeed, +you ever had--unless, indeed, it be the shameless and diabolical honesty +of glorying in your own vices." + +"Why, Hartley!" replied Deaker, "you forget, that you had more vices, +and,'hammers, too, in your family, and more brass, than ever I or mine +could' boast of. If the memory of that successful old tinker, your +grandfather, had not passed out of your mind, you would make no allusion +to vices or screws, and take care, my good hot-brained young fellow, +that you don't die in your family trade, and come to the pully yet." + +Hartley, who was hasty, but exceedingly good-natured, although certainly +a noted duelist, now burst out into a hearty laugh, as did most of the +rest. + +"Deaker," said he, "there is no use in being angry with you, nor in +being ashamed that my fortune was created by industry and honesty, +for both of which virtues I have reason heartily to thank my good old +grandfather, the hardware man, as you have for thanking the sire of your +father, the worthy tailor, who had the honor of being appointed one of +Peg Nicholson's knights, ha, ha, ha!" + +The laughter now became general and excessive; but not one of them +enjoyed, or seemed at least, to enjoy it with more good-humor than Val; +who, indeed, was never known to exhibit any want of temper to his equals +during his life. + +"Well," said he, "ha, ha, ha! now that that breeze has blown over--about +the poteen, Hartley?" + +"Thanks, Val; but no poteen, if you please." + +"Then, gentlemen," said Val, "to resume business; I was alluding to the +seizure of a Still about a month ago near Drum Dhu, where the parties +just had time to secure the Still itself, but were forced to leave the +head and worm behind them; now, that I give as a fair illustration of +our getting the papers, and missing the arms. Besides," said he, in a +wheedling and confidential tone, addressed to a clique of his friends, +the jobbers, whom he joined at the lower end of the room, "you are all +aware that my fellows are staunch Orangemen, every one of them, and +the government itself feels, for I have reason to know it, that it is +neither politic or prudent to check the spirit which is now abroad among +them; so far from that, I can tell you it is expected that we should +stimulate and increase it, until the times change. The bills against +these men must, therefore, be thrown out." + +"I'll agree to that," said a leading man of his own party, "only on one +condition. There are three of my own tenants, Papists to be sure, in for +distilling poteen. Now, we must have them out, Val, for one good turn +deserves another. + +"But why?" inquired Val and his friends. + +"Why, simply, because the poor fellows were distilling for myself," he +replied; "all the apparatus were mine, and I can't think of allowing +them to be transported for my own act." + +"Very well, then a bargain be it," said Val, "so out they go." + +Whilst every man was thus working, either for his friends or against his +enemies, or not unfrequently both, Hartley, who, in point of fact, felt +always anxious to do as much good as he could, addressed Sir William: + +"Have you no friends in difficulty, Sir William, or who require your +advocacy now? I see the jobbers are hard at work. Some working heaven +and earth to wreak the vengeance of law upon their enemies; others quite +as anxious to turn aside justice from their friends." + +"Eh! what's that!" said Sir William, starting up; "come, Hartley, you +are right; there are four of my tenants in for a fray--the M'Caffreys, +and the poor devils stand no chance with such a jury as they will have. +I hear them named below there--so let us join the jobbers as you say, +and see if we cannot get the Bills thrown out." + +"Very well," said Val, as they approached him, "the M'Caffreys go to +trial." + +"Sir William, excuse me," said Hartley; "will you allow me to interfere, +in the first instance?" + +"My dear fellow, certainly, with great pleasure, and I shall aid you as +far as I can." + +"Val," said Hartley, in that kind of familiar tone which he knew would +go far with such a man as M'Clutchy, and which was in such accordance +with his own natural good-humor--"Val, my good fellow, and the best man +of business here, by the way, notwithstanding the poteen affair, I want +you to stand my friend and also Sir William's here." + +"How is that, Hartley?" + +"There are four men in from the Mountain Bar, named M'Caffrey. Now we +want to have the Bills against them ignored; and simply for a plain +reason--at this season of the year any lengthy imprisonment would ruin +them. It was a faction fight or something of that kind, and of course +there is no feeling of a religious or party nature in it. Am I not +right, Sir William?" + +"Perfectly; the thing took place during my absence in England for +the last few months. Had I been at home, the matter would have been +peaceably decided in my own stable-yard." + +"Yes," observed Val, "but it appears there was a man's life in danger." + +"Yes, but, sir, his life is now out of danger." + +"Well, but does not this," rejoined Val in his most serious mood, "look +very like obstructing the course of justice?" + +"Why, you d----d scoundrel," said the Baronet, "what, in nineteen cases +out of twenty, is done at every assizes where matters connected +with religion or politics are concerned, that ought not to be called +obstructing the course of justice?" + +"We shall return true Bills, Sir William and that is the only reply I +have to make, except to thank you for your courtesy." + +"Mr. M'Clutchy," said Hartley, "I know your good sense and forbearance, +both of which are so creditable to you. These poor fellows will be +ruined, for both you and I know what kind of jury that is to try them." + +"An honest jury, Mr. Hartley," said Mr, M'Clutchy, who was now beginning +to feel a little of his power--"an honest jury, Mr. Hartley." + +"I give you leave to say so, Val; but, in the meantime, I will accept +one favor from you, if you grant me two." + +"How is that sir?" asked Val. + +"Send me that poteen you spoke of, and ignore the Bills against these +M'Caffreys." + +"No, sir," replied Val, looking with his own peculiar beetle-browed +smile at Sir William, "I shall not; for by G--, we will find true Bills +against the four M'Caffreys. We might do something for humanity, Mr. +Hartley; but we are not to be made fools of before our own faces." + +"I do not understand you," replied Hartley. + +"He is nothing but a scoundrel, as I said," returned Sir William--"that +is all; a low-born scoundrel; and it is a disgrace to see such a +fellow's name upon any Grand Jury list." + +"Hartley," replied Spavin, "we do not wish to refuse either Sir William +or you in such a matter as this; but the fact is, M'Clutchy is right. +This is at bottom a party matter--a political matter, and you know it +is." + +"No, sir; on my own part and on Sir William's I disclaim any such +knowledge." + +"You know, Hartley, you are canvassing the county." + +"Yes, but what has that to do with these; men or their affairs?" + +"What--why you know that if we ignore the Bills against them, they will +be out and ready to vote for you at the forthcoming election." + +Hartley looked at him with surprise but said nothing. + +"Now," he proceeded, "I will tell you what we will do. If you and Sir +William pledge your words, as men of honor, that you will not accept the +votes of these men, the matter you wish shall be managed." + +Sir William started to his feet. + +"Great God," said he, "is it not monstrous that an oath of secrecy +should bind us to conceal these inquiries?" + +"It is monstrous, Sir William," replied his friend; "I do believe there +is not such, a scene of shameless and hardened corruption on earth, as a +Grand Jury Room at the present day." + +This, however, they said rather aside to each other. + +"No, sir," replied Hartley to the last proposal, "neither I nor Sir +William shall enter into any such shameful compromise. I felt perfectly +satisfied of the slight chance of justice which these poor men had, and +will have from a jury so composed as theirs I know will be; and that was +the reason why I did not hesitate to try, if I could, with any effect, +save them from what I now perceive is designed for them--a political +punishment independent of crime." + +"Never mind," said Sir William, taking him aside, "never mind, Hartley; +we will be able to defeat them yet. I shall send for the prosecuting +parties; get them to withdraw proceedings, and immediately fight it out +in my lawn or stable-yard." + +After a great deal of similar squabbling and negotiation, the gentleman +at length got through the criminal calendar for the county, and with +still more startling honesty and disinterestedness, entered upon the +transactions of its fiscal business. Beaker, whenever he took no part +in the discussions that accompanied the settlement of each question, sat +reading a newspaper to the air of the Boyne Water, which he whistled +from habit in a low manner that was scarcely audible, unless to some +one who felt anxious to derive amusement, as several did, from the +originality of the performance. + +"Gentlemen," said the secretary, "here is a list of the presentments. +The first is--For two miles and a quarter of a new road, running +from George Ganderwell's house at the Crooked Commons, out along +Pat Donnellan's little farm of the Stripe, through which it runs +longitudinally; then across Jemmy league's meadow, over the Muffin Burn, +then through widow Doran's garden, bisecting Darby M'Lorrinan's three +acre field, afterwards entering the Glebe, and passing close to the +lodge of the Rev. Phineas Lucre's avenue." + +"Is there any opposition to this?" inquired the chairman. + +"Read the next," said M'Clutchy, "and then we shall be the better able +to see." + +No. 2. "For four miles of road, commencing at the Ban Ard river, which +it crosses, running through Frank Fagan's croft, along Rogues Town, over +Tom Magill's Long-shot meadow, across the Sally Slums, up Davy Aiken's +Misery-meerin, by Parra Rakkan's haggard, up the Dumb Hill, into Lucky +Lavery's Patch, and from that right ahead to Constitution Cottage, the +residence of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., within two hundred yards of +which it joins the high road to Castle Cumber." + +"Now the question is," said Val, "can both these be passed during this +term?" + +"Val," replied young Jollyblock, "if ever a man was afflicted with +modesty and disinterestedness you are he; and well becomes me the +parson, too, in his share of the job; but it's all right, gentlemen. +Work away, I Say. The Parson-magistrate, and the Agent-grand-juror have +set us an excellent example--ha---In.--ha! Deaker, drop whistling the +Boyne Water there, and see what's going on here." + +"No," said Deaker, "there never was such air composed as the Boyne +Water; and my only request is, that I may die whistling it. Damn it, +Jollyblock, unless a man is a good Protestant he's bad for everything +else." + +"But how the devil Deaker, can you call yourself a good Protestant, when +you believe in nothing?" + +"Why," said Deaker, "I believe that a certain set of political opinions +are necessary for our safety and welfare in this world; and, I +believe, that these are to be found in the Church, and that it is good +Protestantism to abide by them, yes, and by the Church too, so long as +she teaches nothing but politics, as she does, and acts up to them." + +"And does your faith stop there?" + +"How could it go farther with the lives of such men as your father and +Lucre staring me in the face? Precept, Dick, is of little value when +example is against it. For instance, where's the use of men's preaching +up piety and religion, when their own conduct is a libel upon their +doctrine? Suppose, now, there are two roads--and 'tis said there are: +No. 1, leading to an imaginary region, placed above; No. 2, to another +imaginary region, placed below--very good; the parson says to jon and to +me, do so and so, and take the No. 1 road; but, in the meantime, he does +himself the very reverse of this so and so, and takes the No. 2 road. +Now, which are we to respect most, his advice or his example?" + +"Let us go on," said Spavin, "perhaps there are others whose claims are +as modest and disinterested; we shan't say anything about being as well +founded. You secretary fellow, read away." + +"Before you go any farther," said a droll-looking person named M'Small, +"you must pass me a bridge over Lumlay's Leap. Our party voted you about +thirty miles of roads to repair thoroughly, and you know that although +you only veneered them, we said nothing." + +"But," replied Val, "who ever heard of a bridge without water; and I +know there's not a stream within three miles of you." + +"Never mind that," replied M'Small, "let me have the bridge first, and +we'll see what can be done about the water afterwards. If God in his +mercy would send a wet winter next season, who knows but we might +present for a new river at the January assizes." + +"You must have it," said Deaker, "give M'Small the bridge, and, as he +says, we'll see afterwards what can be done for a river for it." + +"M'Small," said Hartley, "what if you'd get a presentment for a couple +of mountain water spouts; who knows but it might answer the purpose?" + +"I'm afraid," said M'Small, who, by the way, was a good deal of a +humorist, "I fear, Hartley, that the jurisdiction of the grand panel +would scarcely reach so high. In the meantime I shall think of it." + +The bridge, however, was not only passed, but built, and actually stands +to this day, an undeniable monument of the frugality and honesty of +grand jurors, and the affection which they were then capable of bearing +to each other, when their interests happened to be at stake, which was +just four times in the year. + +In the meantime, the tumultuous battle of jobs in all its noise, +recrimination, and jangle of conflicting interests, and incredible +selfishness commenced. There were strong mutual objections to pass the +roads to Mr. Lucre and M'Clutehy, and a regular conflict between their +respective partisans accordingly took place. M'Clutchy's party were +absolutely shocked at the grossness and impiety of such a man as Mr. +Lucre, a person of such great wealth, an absentee, a nonresident-rector, +dipping his hand in the affairs of the county for the sake of a job. + +His party, for he had a strong one, dwelt upon his rights as a civil +officer, a magistrate, and justice of quorum--upon his sterling +principles as a loyal Protestant, who had rendered very important +services to the Church and the government. It was such as he, they said, +who supported the true dignity and respectability of Protestantism, and +it would be a scandal to refuse him a road to his glebe. Deaker groaned +several times during this eulogium, and repeated his favorite text--let +us eat, drink, and be merry, for to-morrow we die; but whether +its application was designed for Lucre or himself, was not very +easy--perhaps we should rather say difficult to determine. + +"That is all very true," replied Val's party; "but in the meantime, +it would be quite as creditable for him to pay some attention to the +spiritual interests of his parish, and the condition of its tottering +old church, as to be mulcting the county for a job." + +"What can you know about his church," inquired Spavin, "who have never +been seen in it, except on last Easter Monday, when you were candidate +for the church wardenship? M'Clutehy," he added, "we all know you are a +Protestant of your father's color; it's the best Protestantism that puts +most into your pocket." + +"And on what other principle is Lucre himself now proceeding, or has +ever proceeded?" replied Val's friends--for Val himself had always a +wholesome repugnance to personal discussion. + +In fact, one would have imagined, on hearing Val's party declaiming +against the selfishness of Lucre, that they themselves entertained a +most virtuous horror against jobs and corruptions of all kinds, and +had within them an actual _bona fide_ regard for religion, in all +its purity, spiritual beauty, and truth; whilst on the contrary, the +Lucreites, who certainly had the worst cause, seemed to think that +M'Clutchy, in preferring his own corruption to that of the parson, was +guilty of a complete desertion of that sterling and mutually concessive +Protestant feeling which they considered to constitute its highest +principle, and absolutely to merge into the manifestation of something +inimical to a Protestant government. + +At length it was suggested by him of the bridge, that in order to meet +the wishes of two such excellent men, and such admirable representatives +of pure Protestant virtue and spirit, it would be best to pass both +presentments on the present occasion, and drop or postpone some of the +minor ones until next term--a suggestion which was eagerly received by +both parties, inasmuch as it satisfied the rapacity of each, without +giving a victory to either. This, however, was far from terminating +either the business or the debates that arose out of the minor +conflicting interests of the jurors. A good deal of hanging fire there +was also, but given and returned in a better spirit, between. Val's +friends and Lucre's. + +"Why doesn't Lucre," said the former, "afford us a little more of his +company in the parish?" + +"Ah," replied the Lucreites, "we suppose if he gave you more of his +venison and claret, he would experience less of your opposition." + +"I really am afraid to go to church," said Val, who, now that the storm +had passed, resumed his usual insinuating habit of light sarcasm: "I +am afraid to go, lest the crazy old church, which really, between +ourselves--I speak of course in a friendly way now--is in a most +shameful and dangerous state, should fall upon me." + +"I did not think," said M'Small, "that you had such a strong sense of +your own deserts left, Val!--I have some hopes of you yet." + +"Ah," said Val, "I fear that on your way to heaven, if you meet a +difficulty, you will not be likely to find a grand jury to build a +bridge for you across it." + +"I perfectly agree with you," replied M'Small, "the face of a grand +juror will be a novel sight in that direction." + +"And in the other direction," observed Hartley, "no bridges will be +wanted." + +"Why so?" said M'Small. + +"Because," he replied, "there will be such an absence of water as will +render them unnecessary." + +"Ay," retorted another, "but as there will be plenty of grand jurors +we may do then as we did now, build the bridge without the water, and +trouble ourselves no further with the consequences." + +After much more conversation, partly on business, and partly on +desultory topics, the quarrellings, and bickerings, and all the noisy +enmities of that corrupt little world that is contained within--we +should rather say, that was contained within the walls of a grand jury +room, ceased; and, with the exception of one or two small matters of +no consequence, everything was settled, but not so as to give general +satisfaction; for there still remained a considerable number of +grumblers, whose objects had been either completely lost in greater +corruption, or set aside for the present. + +"Here's another matter," said Spavin, "which we had better settle at +once. A man here named O'Drive--Darby O'Drive--is to be appointed to the +under gaolership--he is strongly recommended by Mr. Lucre, as a man that +has renounced Popery." + +"That's enough, Spavin," said Hartley, "that, I suppose, comprises all +the virtues necessary for an under gaoler, at all events." + +"You know him, M'Clutchy," said one or two of them. + +"He'll make a good under gaoler," replied Val, "as there will be in +Europe. Appoint him, gentlemen; you will get no such man." + +"And that is just," said Sir William aside to Hartley, "all that Val's +recommendation is good for." + +And thus closed as much as we feel necessary to describe of that +extraordinary scene--a grand jury room in the year 1804, or +thereabouts. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII.--A Rent Day + +--Relative Position of Landlord and Tenant--Grades of Tenantry--Phil's +Notion of Respect--Paddy Corrigan's Protestant Wig--Phil and Solomon in +a Fit of Admiration--The Widow Tyrrell. + + +One single week in the progress of time, after the exhibition last +described, had wonderfully advanced the catastrophe of our simple and +uncomplicated narrative. Harman, very much to the mortification of +M'Clutchy, was acquitted, the evidence being not only in his favor, but +actually of such a character, as to prove clearly that his trial was +merely one of those dishonest stretches of political vengeance which +characterized the times. On coming out, however, he found the affairs of +the firm in a state of bankruptcy and ruin. The insidious paragraphs in +the papers, masked with compassion, and "a hope that the affairs of +this respectable firm--which was hitherto supposed to be a solvent +one--would, still, be wound up in a way, they trusted, somewhat more +satisfactory than was given out by their enemies." Nor was this the +worst, so far as Harman himself was concerned. The impression of Mary +M'Loughlin's perfidy had been now so thoroughly stamped into his heart, +that he neither could, nor would listen to any attempt upon the part of +their mutual friends at her vindication. This last stroke of anguish was +owing, also, to Phil's diabolical ingenuity. Harman on reflecting day +after day, and hour by hour, upon the occurrence, and comparing it with +her conduct and confusion on previous occasions, felt, as we before +said, strongly inclined to believe her guilty. He determined, however, +not to rest here, but to sift the matter to the bottom. He accordingly +heard from his cousin, and from several others, while in prison, such +details of the particulars, and such an authentic list of the persons +who were present, many of whom, owing to the ingenious malignity +of Poll Doolin, were friendly and favorable to the family--that he +privately sent for them, and on comparing the narratives one with the +other, he found the harmony among them so strong, that he gave up all +thoughts of her, save such as recurred involuntarily to his mind with +indignation and anguish. In addition to his other mortifications, it +happened that the second day after his release from imprisonment was +what the agents call "Gale day;" that is, the day upon which they get +into their chair of state, as it were, and in all the insolence of +office receive their rents, and give a general audience to the tenantry. +Phil, indeed, even more than the father, looked forward to these days +with an exultation of soul and a consciousness of authority, that fully +repaid him for all the insults, disasters, and tweakings of the nose, +which he was forced to suffer during the whole year besides. In truth, +nothing could equal, much less surpass, the Pistolian spirit by which +this lion-hearted gentleman was then animated. His frown, swagger, +bluster, and authoritative shakings of his head, the annihilating +ferocity of his look, and the inflated pomp of manner with which he +addressed them, and "damned his honor," were all inimitable in their +way. The father was more cautious and within bounds, simply because he +had more sense, and knew the world better; but, at the same time, it +was easy to see by his manner, that in spite of all his efforts at +impartiality and justice, he possessed the poison as well as the wisdom +of the serpent, but not one atom of the harmlessness of the dove. At +another table, a little to the right of M'Clutchy, sat M'Slime, ready to +take his appropriate part in the proceedings of the day, and prepared, +whilst engaged in the task of seeing that everything was done according +to law, to throw in "a word in season, touching the interests of the +gospel." + +At length eleven o'clock arrived, and found Val, Phil, our old friend +Darby, who had not yet entered upon the duties of his office, together +with one or two other understrappers, all ready for business. The two +principal characters were surrounded by books, rentals, receipts, and +every other document necessary and usual upon such occasions. The day +was wet and cold, and by no means in the spirit of the season; but we +know not why it happens, that there seems in general to be a fatality +of disastrous weather peculiar to such days, leading one to imagine that +the agent possessed such a necromantic foreknowledge of the weather, +as enabled him to superinduce the severity of the elements upon his own +cruelty. In a country so poor as Ireland, the scene presented by a rent +day is one too impressive and melancholy ever to be forgotten by any +heart touched with benevolence. There is little, if any, of that +erect freedom of demeanor and natural exhibition of good will, which +characterize conscious independence and a sense of protection on the +part of the tenant; whilst on that of the agent or landlord there is +a contemptuous hardness of manner, a vile indifference, and utter +disregard of the feelings of those by whom he is surrounded, that might +enable the shallowest observer to say at a glance, there is no sympathy +between that man and these people. + +But that is not all. Give yourself time to observe them more closely, +listen to that agent pouring his insolent invective upon the head of +this poor man, whose only crime is his poverty, and whose spirit appears +to be broken down with the struggles and sufferings of life; yet, who +hears his honesty impugned, his efforts ridiculed, and his character +blackened, without manifesting any other than a calm spirit that looks +inwards to his own heart for the consciousness of these falsehoods. Look +at this, we repeat, and you will surely feel yourself forced to +say--not that there is no sympathy between these men, but there sits the +oppressor and there stands the oppressed. + +But even this is not all. Bestow a still more searching glance upon +the scene. Here is more than invective; more than the imputation of +dishonesty and fraud; more than the cruel defamation of character in the +presence of so many. Mark the words of that agent or landlord again. He +is sealing the fate of this struggling man; he tells him he is to have +no home--no house to shelter himself, his wife, and their children; that +he must be dispossessed, ejected, turned out upon the world, without +friends to support or aid him, or the means to sustain their physical +existence. Hear all this, and mark the brow of that denounced man; +observe how it knits and darkens; how firmly he compressess his +lips, and with what a long, determined, gloomy gaze he surveys his +denouncer--observe all this, we repeat; and need you feel surprised, +at finding yourself compelled to go still farther, and say there sits a +doomed man and there most assuredly stands his murderer. + +Let it not be supposed that we are capable of justifying murder, or the +shedding of human blood; but we are palliating, and ever shall palliate +that crime in the humble man, which originates in the oppression +of the great man. Is the act which banishes happiness and +contentment--introduces poverty, misery, destitution--which scatters +out of the heart all the little amenities and sweet endearments of +life--which wastes away the strength of the spirit, and paralyzes that +of the hand--which dims the eye and gives paleness to the cheek, and by +combining all these together makes home--yes, home, the trysting place +of all the affections, a thing to be thought of only with dread--an +asylum for the miseries of life;--is the act, we say, which inflicts +upon a human being, or a human family, this scathing and multitudinous +curse--no crime? In the sight of God and in the sight of man is it no +crime? Yes! In the sight of God and man it is a deep, an awful, and a +most heartless crime! To return, however, to our rent day. The whole +morning was unseasonably cold and stormy, and as there was but little +shelter about the place, we need scarcely say, that the poor creatures +who were congregated before the door were compelled to bear the full +force of its inclemency. + +Indeed, it may be observed with truth, that when people are met together +under circumstances of a painful nature, they cannot relax or melt into +that social ease which generally marks those who come together with no +such restraint upon the heart or spirits. Here, too, as in every other +department of life, all the various grades of poverty and dependence +fall into their respective classes. In one place, for instance, might be +seen together those more comfortable farmers who were able to meet their +engagements, but who labored under the galling conviction, that, however +hard and severely industry might put forth its exertions, there was no +ultimate expectation of independence--no cheering reflection, that they +resided under a landlord who would feel gratified and proud at their +progressive prosperity. Alas! it is wonderful how much happiness a bad +landlord destroys! These men stood with their backs to the wind and +storm, lowly conversing upon the disastrous change which was coming, +and had come, over the estate. Their brows were lowered, their dialogue +languid and gloomy, and altogether their whole appearance was that of +men who felt that they lived neither for themselves or their families, +but for those who took no interest whatsoever in their happiness or +welfare. + +In another place were grouped together men who were still worse off than +the former--men, we mean, who were able to meet their engagements, +but at the expense of all, or mostly all, that constitutes domestic +comfort--who had bad beds, bad food, and indifferent clothes. These +persons were far more humbled in their bearing than the former, took a +less prominent situation in the crowd, and seemed to have deeper +care, and much more personal feeling to repress or combat. It is an +indisputable fact, that the very severe and vexatious tyranny exercised +over them had absolutely driven the poor creatures into hypocrisy +and falsehood--a general and almost uniform consequence of conduct +so peculiarly oppressive. They were all, at best, God knows, but very +poorly clothed; yet, if it so happened that one or two of them, somewhat +more comfortable than the rest, happened to have got a new coat a little +before gale day, he invariably declined to appear in it, knowing, as +he did, that he should receive a torrent of abuse from the agent, +in consequence of "getting fat, impudent, and well-dressed on his +Lordship's property;" terms of abuse, which, together with the cause +that produced them, are at this moment well known to thousands as +expressions whose general occurrence on such, occasions has almost fixed +them into proverb. Will our English neighbors believe this? That we know +not, but we can assure them that they may. + +There were other groups farther down in the scale of distress, where +embarrassment and struggle told a yet more painful tale; those who came +with their rent, in full to be sure, but literally racked up from their +own private destitution--who were obliged to sell the meal, or oats, or +wheat, at a ruinous loss, in order to meet the inexorable demands of the +merciless and tyrannical agent. Here were all the' external evidences +of their condition legible by a single look at their persons; they also +herded together, ill clad, ill fed, timid, broken down, heartless. All +these, however, had their rents--had them full and complete in amount; +now the reader may well say, this picture is, indeed, very painful, and +I am glad it is closed at last. Closed! oh, no, kind reader, it is not +closed, nor could it be closed by any writer acquainted either with +the subject or the country. What are we to say of those who had not the +rent, and who came there only to make that melancholy statement, and to +pray for mercy? Here was raggedness, shivering--not merely with the +cold assault of the elements--but from the dreaded apprehension of +the terrible agent--downcast looks that spoke of keen and cutting +misery--eyes that were dead and hopeless in expression--and +occasionally, a hasty wringing of the hands, accompanied by an +expression so dejected and lamentable, as makes us, when we cast our +eye in imagination upon such men as Valentine M'Clutchy, cry out aloud, +"where are the lightnings of the Almighty, and why are his +thunderbolts asleep?" There was there the poor gray-haired old man--the +grandfather--accompanied, perhaps, by his promising young grandsons, +left fatherless and motherless to his care, and brought now in order +that the agent might see with his eyes how soon he will have their aid +to cultivate their little farm, and consequently, to make it pay better, +he hopes. Then the widow, tremulous with the excess of many feelings, +many cares, and many bitter and indignant apprehensions. If handsome +herself, or if the mother of daughters old enough, and sufficiently +attractive, for the purposes of debauchery, oh! what has she to contend +with? Poor, helpless, friendless, coming to offer her humble apology for +not being able to be prepared for the day. Alas! how may she, clutched +as she is in the fangs of that man, or his scoundrel and profligate +son--how may she fight out the noble battle of religion, and virtue, and +poverty, against the united influences of oppression and lust, wealth +and villany. + +The appearance of these different groups--when the inclemency of the +day, their sinking hearts, and downcast pale countenances, were taken +into consideration--was really a strong exponent of the greatest evil +which characterizes and oppresses the country--the unsettled state +of property, and of the relative position of landlord and tenant in +Ireland. + +At length the hall-door was opened, and a hard-faced ruffian came +out upon the steps, shouting the name of a man named O'Hare. The man +immediately approached the steps, and after shaking the heavy rain +out of his big coat, and having whisked his hat backwards and forwards +several times, that he might not soil his honor's office, he was brought +in, and having made his humble bow, stood to hear his honor's pleasure. +His honor, however, who had divided the labor between himself and Phil, +had also, by an arrangement which was understood between them, allotted +that young gentleman, at his own request, a peculiar class marked out in +the rental, in which class this man stood. "O'Hare," said Val, "how do +you do?" + +"Upon my conscience, your honor, but poorly," replied O'Hare, "the last +heavy fit of illness, joined to the bad times, sir--" + +"O'Hare," said Solomon, "suffer me humbly, and without assuming anything +to myself, to point out to you the impropriety of swearing; I do it, my +friend, in all humility; for I fear, that so long as you indulge in that +most sinful practice, the times will seldom be other than bad with you, +or, indeed, with any one that gives way to so Wicked a habit. Excuse me, +O'Hare, I speak to you as a Christian, I humbly trust." + +"By G--, that's good, father," exclaimed Phil, "M'Slime preaching to +such a fellow as this!" + +"I humbly thank you, sir," said O'Hare to Solomon, "for your kindness +in--" + +"Thank the devil, sirra," said Phil; "What the devil does he or I care +about your d----d thanks. Have you your rent?" + +The man, with trembling hands, placed some notes, and gold, and silver +before him--the latter being rolled up in the former. + +"I'm short for the present," he added, "just thirty shilling, sir; but +you can give me an acknowledgment for the sum I give you now: a regular +receipt will do when I bring you the balance, which, God willin', will +be in about a fortnight." + +"Ay, and this is your rent, Mr. O'Hare," exclaimed Phil, gathering up +the money into a lump, and with all his force flinging it at the +man's head; "this is your rent, Mister O'Hare," placing an emphasis of +contempt on the word Mr.; "thirty shillings short, Mr. O'Hare, but I'll +tell you what, Mr. O'Hare, by ---, if you don't have the full rent for +me in two hours, Mr. O'Hare, I'll make short work, and you may sleep +on the dunghill. I can in ten minutes get more rent than you pay, Mr. +O'Hare, so now go to h--l, and get the money, or out you go." + +The poor man stooped down, and with considerable search and difficulty, +succeeded in picking up his money. + +"In two hours, sir," said he, "I could never do it." + +"That's your own business," said Phil, "not mine--if you have it not for +me in two hours, out you go; so now be off to hell out of this, and get +it." + +Val, who had been poring over an account-book, now raised his head, as +if disturbed by the noise for the first time-- + +"What's the matter?" said he, "what is it, Phil?" + +"Why, d--n my honor," replied Phil, "but that scoundrel O'Hare, had the +assurance to come to me thirty shillings short of his rent, and, what is +more, only brought me a part of it in gold!" + +"God help me!" exclaimed poor O'Hare, "I know not what to do--sure I did +the--best I could." + +He then went out to the hall, and was about to leave the house, when +Val rising, called him into another room, where both remained for a few +minutes, after which the man went away, thanking his honor, and praying +God to bless him; and Val, having; seated himself at the desk, appeared +to feel rather pleased at their little interview than otherwise. + +"Ah, my dear friend, M'Clutchy," said Solomon, "you are a treasure in +your way--when you do a kind act it is always in secret, ever mindful of +our spiritual obligations, my friend." + +"Why," said Val, "a man is not always to trumpet forth any little act +of kindness he may choose to render to a poor simple fellow like O'Hare. +You mustn't mind him, Phil--I have told him not to be in a hurry, but to +take his time." + +"Very well," said Phil, who had just knowledge enough of his father's +villany, to feel satisfied, that in whatever arrangement took place +between them, O'Hare's interest was not consulted;* "very well; d--n my +honor, I suppose it's all right, old cock." + + * This scene is verbatim et literatim from life. + +Our readers, we presume, have already observed, that however tenderly +our friend Solomon felt for the shearing habit of the poor, he was +somehow rather reluctant in offering a word in season to any one else. +What his motive could be for this we are really at a loss to know, +unless it proceeded from a charitable consciousness, that as there was +no earthly hope of improving them by admonition, it was only deepening +their responsibility to give it--for Solomon was charitable in all +things. + +"Call in Tom Maguire, from Edenmore," said Val. "Now," he proceeded, +"this is a stiff-necked scoundrel, who refuses to vote for us; but it +will go hard, or I shall work him to some purpose. Well, Maguire," he +proceeded, after the man had entered, "I'm glad to see you--how do you +do?" + +"I'm much obliged to you, sir," replied the other--"why just able to +make both ends barely meet, and no more; but as the time goes, sure it's +well to be able to do that same, thank goodness." + +"Tom," said Solomon, "I am pleased to hear you speak in such a spirit; +that was piously expressed--very much so indeed." + +"Well, Tom," proceeded Val; "I suppose you are prepared?" + +"Why, sir," replied Tom, who, by the way, was a bit of a wag; "you know, +or at least Mr. M'Slime does, that it's good to be always prepared. The +rent in full is there, sir," he added, laying it down on the table; "and +I'll thank you for the receipt." + +Val deliberately reckoned over the gold--for in no other coin would he +receive it--and then drew a long breath, and appeared satisfied, but not +altogether free from some touch of hesitation. + +"Ay," said he, "it is all right, Tom, certainly--yes, certainly, it +is all right. Darby, fill Tom a bumper of whiskey--not that--I say the +large glass, you scoundrel." + +"Throth, Captain, 'tisn't my heart 'ud hindher me to give him the +largest in the house; but I have a conscientious scruple against doin' +what I believe isn't right. My Bible tells me--. Well, well, sure I'm +only obeying orders. Here, Tom," he added, handing him the large bumper. + +"Confound the fellow," said Val; "ever since he has become a convert to +Mr. Lucre there's no getting a word out of him that hasn't religion in +it." + +"Ah, Captain," replied Darby, "sure Mr. M'Slime there knows, that 'out +of the abundance of the heart the mouth spaiketh.'" + +"I cannot answer for what you are latterly, Darby," replied +Solomon--"thank you, Tom," to Maguire, who had held his glass in his +hand for some time, and at length hurriedly drank their healths;--"but I +know that the first spiritual nutrition you received, was at least +from one who belonged to an Apostolical Church--a voluntary +Presbytery--unpolluted by the mammon of unrighteousness, on which your +Church of Ireland is established." + +"But you know," said Darby, "that we're ordhered to make for ourselves, +friends of that same mammon of unrighteousness." + +"Upon my honor," said Phil, "I know that you're a hypocritical old +scoundrel. Be off to h--l, sir, and hold your tongue." + +"Throth and I will, Captain Phil--I will then," and he was silent; but +his face, as he glanced first at Tom Maguire, and then at Solomon and +the rest, was a perfect jewel, beyond all price. + +"Tom," proceeded Val, "I hope you've thought over what I mentioned to +you on our canvass the other day?" + +"I have, sir," said Tom, "and I'm still of the same opinion. I'll vote +for Hartley and no other." + +"You don't imagine of what service Lord Cumber and I could be of to +you." + +"I know of no service Lord Cumber ever was to any of his tenants," +replied Maguire; "except, indeed, to keep them ground to the earth, in +supportin' his extravagance, and that he might spend their hard earnings +in another country, not caring one damn whether they live or starve. +It's for that raison, sir, I vote, and will vote against him." + +"Well, but," said Val, whose brow began to darken, "you have not +considered what an enemy he can be to those like you, whose obstinacy +draws down his resentment upon them. Have you ever considered that-- +eh?" + +"I don't see how he can readily be a worse enemy to me, or any tenant +he has, than he is at present. I'll trouble you for my receipt, Mr. +M'Clutchy, but I won't vote for him. I beg your pardon, sir," said he, +on looking at the receipt which Val, as he spoke, had handed to him; +"this isn't signed--your name's not to it." + +"Show," said Val; "upon my life it is not. You are right, Maguire; but +the truth is, M'Slime, that while speaking on any subject that affects +Lord Cumber's interests, I am scarcely conscious of doing anything else. +Now, sir," he proceeded, addressing Maguire, with a brow like midnight; +"there is your receipt--bring it home--show it to your family--and tell +them it is the last of the kind you will ever receive on the property of +Lord Cumber. I shall let you know, sir, that I am somewhat stronger than +you are." + +"That's all to be proved yet, sir," said the sturdy farmer: "you know +the proverb, sir--'man proposes, but God disposes.'" + +"What do you mean, sirra? What language is this to my father? Be off to +h--l or Connaught, sir, or we'll make it worse for you--ha!--bow-wow." +He did not utter the last interjection, but his face expressed it. + +"That's not the religious individual I took him to be," said Solomon; +"there is much of the leaven of iniquity in him." + +"Religion be hanged, M'Slime!" said Phil, "what religion could you +expect a Papist like him to have?" + +"M'Murt, call in old Paddy Corrigan." + +A venerable old man, who, though nearly a hundred years old, stood +actually as erect as the Apollo Belvidere himself, now entered. He was, +however, but poorly clad, and had nothing else remarkable about him, +with the exception of a rich wig, which would puzzle any one to know how +it had got upon his head. On entering, he took off his hat as usual, and +paid his salutation. + +"What the devil do you mean, Corrigan?" said Phil, once more in a +fluster; "what kind of respect is that in our presence?--what kind of +respect is that, I say? Take off your wig, sir." + +"With great respect to you, sir," replied Corrigan, "I have been in as +jinteel company as this, and it's the first time ever I was axed to take +my wig off." + +"Phil," said Val, who really felt somewhat ashamed of this ignorant +and tyrannical coxcomb, "Phil, my good boy, I think you are rather +foolish--never mind him, Paddy, he is only jesting." + +"Are not you the man?" asked Solomon, "in whom our rector, Mr. Lucre, +takes such a deep and Christian interest?" + +"I am, sir," returned Corrigan. + +"And pray, what interest does he take in you?" said Val. + +"Troth, sir," replied Paddy, "he is very kind and very good to me. +Indeed, he's the generous gentleman, and the good Christian, that +doesn't forget Paddy Corrigan." + +"But, Paddy, what does he do for you?" asked the agent. + +"Why, sir," replied Corrigan, "he gives: me a cast-off wig once a year, +God bless him!--This is his I have on me. Throth, ever since I began +to wear them I feel a strong-relish for beef and mutton, and such fine +feedin'; but somehow, God forgive me, I! haven't the same leanin' to +devotion that I used to have." + +"Paddy, my old boy," said Phil, "that alters the case altogether. I +thought the wig was as Popish as yourself; but had I known that it was +a staunch and constitutional concern, of sound High Church principle, I +should have treated it with respect. I might have known, indeed, that +it could not be a Popish one, Paddy, for I see it has the thorough +Protestant curl." + +The father looked at Phil, to ascertain whether he was serious or not, +but so unmeaning or equivocal was the expression of his countenance that +he could make nothing out of it. + +"You are reasoning," said Solomon, "upon wrong, certainly not upon +purely gospel principles, Phil. The wig at this moment has a great deal +more of Popery in it than ever it had of Protestantism." + +"And, if I'm not much mistaken, more honesty, too," observed Val, who +had not forgotten the opposition he received in the grand jury room by +Lucre's friends; nor the fact that the same reverend gentleman had taken +many fat slices of his mouth on several other occasions. + +"Well, then, confound the wig," said Phil, "and that's all I have to say +about it." + +Paddy then paid his rent, and having received a receipt, was about to +go, when Val thus addressed him:--"Paddy, I hope you will not hesitate +to give up that farm of yours at Slatbeg; I told you before that if you +do, I'll be a friend to you for life." + +"I'll sell it, sir," said Paddy; "but surely you wouldn't have me to +give up my interest in such a farm as that." + +"I'll make it up to you in other ways," said Val; "and I'll mention you +besides to Lord Cumber." + +"I'm thankful to you, sir," said Paddy; "but it's in heaven I'll be, +most likely, before ever you see his face." + +"Then, you won't give it up, nor rely upon my generosity or Lord +Cumber's? It's Lord Cumber you will be obliging, not me." + +"Wid every respect for you both, sir," replied Paddy, "I must think +of my own flesh and blood, my childre, and grand-childre, and +great-grand-childre, before I think of either you or him. The day, sir, +you made me tipsy, and sent me on your own car for the lease, I would a +given it--but then, they wouldn't let me at home, and so, on thinking-it +over--" + +"Pooh, you're doting, man, you're doting," said Val. "go home, now--but +I tell you, you will have cause to remember this before you die, old as +you are--go home." + +"The truth is, Solomon, I was offered two hundred pounds for it by one +of my 'hounds' which would be a good thing enough, and would afford you +a slice into the bargain. The old fellow would have brought me the +lease the day he speaks of, were it not for the family--and, talking of +leases, you will not forget to draw up those two for the O'Flaherties, +with a flaw in each. They are certainly with us up to the present time, +but, then, we can never be sure of these Papists." + +"No, d--n my honor, if ever we can," re-echoed Phil; "they hate us +because we keep them down. Put in two good thumping flaws, Solomon, and +be hanged to you; so that we can pop them out if ever they refuse to +vote for us." + +"Never you mind Solomon," said his father, "Solomon will put in a pair +of flaws that will do him honor." + +"If I did not feel that in doing so, my dear M'Clutchy, I am rendering +a service to religion, and fighting a just and righteous fight against +Popery and idolatry, I would not deem myself as one permitted to do this +thing--but the work is a helping forward of religion, and that is my +justification." + +"Call Philip Duggan in." + +A poor looking man now entered with a staff in his hand, by the aid of +which he walked, for he was lame. + +"Well, Duggan, your rent?" + +"I have scrambled it together, sir, from God knows how many quarthers." + +"Phil," said Solomon aside, "is it not painful to hear how habitually +these dark creatures take the sacred name in vain." + +"By ---, it's perfectly shocking," said Phil, "but what else could you +expect from them?" + +"Duggan," said Val, "what is this, here's a mistake--you are short three +pound ten." + +"Beggin' your pardon, sir, it's all right," replied Duggan; "you see, +your honor, here's my little account for the work I wrought for you for +five weeks wid horse and cart, up until I put my knee out o' joint in +the quarry--you remember, sir, when I brought it to you, you said to let +it stand, that you would allow for it in the next gale." + +"I remember no such thing, my good fellow, or, if ever I said such a +thing, it must have been a mistake; do you imagine, now--are you really +so stupid and silly as to imagine that I could transmit this account of +yours to Lord Cumber, in payment of his rent?" + +"But wasn't it by your own ordhers I did it, sir?" + +"No, sir; it couldn't be by my orders. Duggan, you're a great knave, I +see. I once had a good opinion of you; but I now perceive my error. Here +you trump up a dishonest bill against me, when you know perfectly well +that most of the work you charge me with was duty work." + +"Beggin,' your pardon, sir, I paid you the duty-work besides, if you'll +remember it." + +"I tell you, sirra, you are a most impudent and knavish scoundrel, to +speak to me in this style, and in my own office, too! Go and get the +balance of the rent, otherwise you shall repent it; and, mark me, sirra, +no more of your dishonesty." + +"As God is to judge me--" + +"Ah, my friend--," began Solomon. + +"Be off to h--l, sir, out of this," thundered Phil. "Be off, I say, to +h--l or Connaught; or if you don't, take my word for it, you'll find +yourself in a worse mess. To address my father in such language! Be off, +sir; ha!"--Bow-wow! said his face once more. + +"Ah," said Solomon, when the man had retired, "I see your patience and +your difficulties--but there is no man free from the latter in this +checkered vale of sorrow." + +"Call Roger Regan," said Val; "here's a fellow, now, who has an +excellent farm at a low rent, yet he never is prepared with a penny. +Well Regan." + +"Oh! devil resave the penny, sir;--you, must only prize (appraise) the +craps; the ould game, sir--the ould game; however, it's a merry world as +long as it lasts, and we must only take our own fun out of it." + +"What is the matter with your head, Regan?" asked Val. + +"Devil a much, sir; a couple o' cuts that you might lay your finger +in. We an' the Haimigans had another set to on Thursday last, but be my +sowl, we thrashed them into chaff--as we're well able to do. Will I have +the pleasure of drinking your health, gintlemen? I think I see the right +sort here." + +"Give him a glass of spirits," said Val; "I think, Regan, you have seen +some one drinking to-day already." + +"Well, gintlemen, here's--if we're to have a short life, may it be a +merry one!--and may we never ait worse mait than mutton. Mr. +M'Slime, more power to you!--She's next door to me"--and he winked at +Solomon--"an' barrin' the paleness, by the powers gettin' on famous; +throth, sir," in reply to Val--"only share of two half-pints wid Paddy +Colgan, in regard of that day that's in it--blowin' bullocks--and, I +believe, another half-pint wid Para Bellow. Blood, sir, but that's a +beautiful drop! Sowl it would take the tear off a widow's pig--or the +widow herself. Faith, Mr. M'Clutchy, I could tell where the cow grazes +that was milked for that! Awough! However, no matther, I'm rantin' Regan +from sweet Anghadarra--Regan the Rake that never seen to-morrow. Whish! +more power!" + +"That will do, Regan; you have not your rent." + +"Oh! d--n the penny, as usual.--Success! + +"Well, but what's to be done? I must come down." + +"Devil afoot you'll come down, please your honor; but you'll come up and +prize the crap. It's worth five times the rent, at any rate--that's one +comfort. Hurroo!" + +"Upon my honor, Regan, I'm tired of this I have done it several times +through kindness to yourself and family, but I cannot, really, do it any +more." + +"Very well, sir--no offence--what one won't, another will; I can raise +three times the rent on it in four and twenty hours." + +"What an unfortunate man you are, to be sure. Well, Regan, I shall +appraise your crops and take them, or a competent share of them in +payment, on this occasion--but mark me, it shall be the last." + +"More power, I say.--Long life to you, sir. You know a hawk from a +hand-saw, any how--and be my sowl, kind father, for you--whish! I'm +rantin' Regan from sweet Anghadarra!" + +So saying, poor, idle, drinking, negligent, pugnacious Regan, by his own +sheer neglect, put his property into the hands of the most relentless +harpy that ever robbed and fleeced a tenantry. This mode of proceeding +was, in fact, one of the many methods resorted to by rapacious agents, +for filling their own pockets at the expense of the tenant, who, by +this means, seldom received more than a fourth part of the value of his +crops. The agent under the mask of obliging him, and saving his crops +from the hammer, took them at a valuation when the markets were low; +and in order that he might be able to do so, he always kept over the +tenant's head what is called a hanging gale--which means that he was +half a year's rent in arrear. The crops were then brought home to the +agent's place, and frequently, to save appearances, to the haggard of +some friend of his, where they were kept until the markets got up to the +highest price. So that it was not an unusual thing for the iniquitous +agent to double the rent, one-half of which he coolly put into his own +pocket.--In pastoral lands the butter was appraised in the same manner, +mostly with similar results to both parties. To return--when Regan had +departed, Val asked Solomon what he thought of him. "Think of him," said +Solomon, who could not forgive the allusion to Susanna, "I would fain +think of him as becomes a Christian; but, somehow, I could not help +feeling, whenever I looked at him, there was the outline of an execution +in his face; however, I may be mistaken--indeed, I hope--I trust I +am--the villain!" + +"M'Murt, call in Catharine Tyrrell." + +"Yes," said Phil, "call in Widow Tyrrell. Now, Solomon, only you have +no relish for anything except what's sanctified and spiritual, you would +say that here comes such a specimen of Irish beauty as you have seldom +seen." + +"I never had any objection," said Solomon, who, in spite of all his +gravity, betrayed an alertness on this occasion that was certainly not +usual to him;--"I never had any objection to look upon any work from +His hand, with pleasure. Indeed, on the contrary, I often felt that +it raised my sense of--of what was beautiful, in such a way that my +feelings became, as it were, full of a sweet fervor that was not to +be despised; I will consequently not decline to look upon this comely +widow--that is--in the serious light I mention." + +"How do you do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I hope you have not got much wet?" said +Val, turning round very blandly. + +"Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, I hope you're very well," followed Phil; "I fear you +have got wet--have the goodness to take a chair, Mrs. Tyrrell--and a +glass of wine, ma'am." + +Mrs. Tyrrell took a chair, but she declined the glass of wine. +Mrs. Tyrrell had been the wife of a young husband, who died in his +twenty-fourth year, just when they had been about a year and a half +married. She was herself, on the day in question, about the same age as +her husband when he died. She had been a widow just two years, and +had one child, a son. She was indeed a beautiful woman--in fact a very +beautiful woman, as one could almost see in her humble condition +of life. Her tresses were a raven black, but her skin was white and +polished as ivory. Her face was a fine specimen of the oval--her brows +exquisitely pencilled--and her large black, but mellow eyes, flashed +a look that went into your very heart. But, if there was anything that +struck you as being more fascinating than another, it was the expression +of innocence, and purity, and sweetness, that lay about her small +mouth and beautifully rounded chin. Her form was symmetry itself, and a +glimpse of the small, but beautiful foot and ankle, left no doubt upon +the mind as to the general harmony of her whole figure. On this occasion +there was a positive air about her which added to the interest she +excited; for, we believe, it may be truly observed, that beauty never +appears so impressively or tenderly fascinating, as when it is slightly +overshadowed with care. We need scarcely say, that there was a great +deal of contrast in the gaze she received from Phil and our friend +Solomon. That of Phil was the gross, impudent stare of a libertine and +fool--a stare, which, in the eye of a virtuous woman, soon receives its +own withering rebuke of scorn and indignation. That of Solomon, on the +other hand, was a look in which there lurked a vast deal of cunning, +regulated and sharpened by experience, and disguised by hypocrisy into +something that absolutely resembled the open, ardent admiration of a +child, or of some innocent man that had hardly ever been in the world. +There was, however, a villainous dropping of the corners of the mouth, +with an almost irrepressible tendency to lick the lips, accompanied with +an exudation of internal moisture from the glands--vulgarly termed a +watering of the teeth--which, to a close observer, would have betrayed +him at once, and which were evident from the involuntary workings of his +whole face. + +"Mrs. Tyrrell," said Val, "I am glad to hear that you are making +considerable improvements on your farm." + +"Improvements, sir," replied the widow in amazement; "I don't know who +could have told you that, sir. Didn't my potato crop fail altogether +with me, and my flax, where I had it spread on the holme below, was all +swept away by the flood." + +"I am sorry to hear that, Mrs. Tyrrell;--we are very hard up for money +here, and the landlord doesn't know on what hand to turn; I must raise +a large sum for him forthwith:--indeed to tell you the truth, I have +received instructions that are not at all pleasant to myself--I am to +let no one pass, he says, and if I cannot get the rent otherwise, I am +to enforce it. Now this is very unpleasant, Mrs. Tyrrell, inasmuch as it +compels me to take steps that I shall feel very painful. + +"God help me, then," replied the poor young woman, "for, as to rent, +sir, I have it not; and, indeed, Mr. M'Clutchy, what brought me here +to-day, was to ask a little time, just till I get my butter made up and +sold. + +"Yes, but what can I do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I have no power to let any one +off, even where I feel inclined, as I do in your case. It really is +not in my power; Lord Cumber took care to leave me no discretion in the +business at all." + +"But surely, sir, you don't mean to say, that unless I pay the rent, you +will seize upon my property.' + +"This," said Val, as if to himself, "is really very distressing-- +unfortunately, Mrs. Tyrrell, I must indeed, unless you can raise the +money in some way; wouldn't your friends, for instance, stand by you, +until your butter is made up?" + +"I have no such friends," replied the poor woman, "them that would, +arn't able; and them that are able, won't; and, that's only the way of +the world, sir." + +"It's too true, indeed, Mrs. Tyrrell; I am very sorry, exceedingly +sorry, for what must be done. It is such circumstances as these that +make me wish I never had become an agent." + +"For God's sake, sir, have patience with me for about a month or six +weeks, and I will be able to pay it all easily." + +"If I was my own master," returned Val, "it would give me pleasure to do +so, but I am not." + +Here there was a groan from Solomon of compassion for the poor widow, +followed by a second, which was clearly a comment upon the first. What +a pity, said the first, to see so interesting a young widow without the +means of paying her rent--and is it not a wicked and hard-hearted world, +said the second that has not in it one individual to befriend her! Mrs. +Tyrrell looked round on hearing an expression of sympathy, and there was +Solomon gazing on her with a look, in which admiration and sympathy were +so well feigned, that she felt grateful to Solomon in her heart. As for +Phil, whether he gazed at her, his father, or at the attorney, such +was the comprehensive latitudinarianism of his squint, that she felt it +impossible to tell; neither, indeed, did she care. She was now in tears, +and Val having declared his determination to proceed, was silent, as if +out of respect to her feelings. At length she rose up, and when on the +eve of going out, she asked for the last time:-- + +"Mr. M'Clutchy is there no hope? I trust, sir, that when you consider +how long my family and my husband have been living on this property, +you'll think better of it than to bring myself and my poor orphan boy to +beggary and ruin. What will become of him and myself!" + +"D--n my honor, Mrs. Tyrrell, but I feel for you," said Phil, eagerly, +as if rushing head foremost into a fit of the purest humanity. + +"Do not be cast down, Mrs. Tyrrell," said Solomon, "there is one who can +befriend the widow, and who will be a father to the fatherless. Rely +on Him!--who knows but an instrument may be raised up for your relief. +Don't be thus cast down." + +"No," said Phil, "do not, or you will only spoil them devlish fine eyes +of yours, Mrs. Tyrrell, by crying. Come, come, father, you must +give her,the time she asks; upon my honor, I'll guarantee she, won't +disappoint. + +"And, if he is not sufficient, I will join him," said Solomon; "you +may rest upon her word, my friend, for I am satisfied that no serious +falsehood's in the habit of proceeding from a mouth so sweet and +comely in expression, as Mrs. Tyrrell's. Come, Val, have a heart, and be +compassionate towards the fair widow." + +"If you or Phil will pay the money," said M'Clutchy, "well and good; but +you both know, that otherwise it is out of my power." There is a +vast deal of acuteness of observation in Irish women, together with +a quickness of perception, that sometimes resembles instinct. Mrs. +Tyrrell's purity of feeling and good sense were offended at the +compliments which the attorney and Phil mixed up with the sympathy they +expressed for her. She felt something jar disagreeably upon her natural +delicacy, by their selecting the moment of her distress for giving +utterance to language, which, coming at any time from either of them +to one in her station of life, was improper; but, under the present +circumstances, an insult, and an impertinent trifling with her +affliction. + +"Well," said she, without paying them the slightest attention, "I must +say, Mr. M'Clutchy, that if you proceed as you threaten to do, your +conduct towards me and my poor orphan will be such as I don't think you +can justify either to God or man. I wish you good morning, sir; I have +no more to say upon it." + +"Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, if you begin to abuse us and lay down the law on the +matter, I have no more to say either." + +She then went out, but had not left the hall, when Phil, following, said +in a low, impudent, confidential tone-- + +"Don't be in a hurry, Mrs. Tyrrell, just step into the parlor for a few +minutes, and we'll see what can be done--step in." + +"No, sir," she replied, feeling very naturally offended at the +familiarity of his manner, I will not step in; anything you have to, say +you can say it here." + +"Yes--but, then, they may overhear us. D--n my honor, but you're a very +pretty woman, Mrs. Tyrrell, and I'd be sorry to see harsh, proceedings +taken against you--that is, if we could understand one another. The +scarlet hue of indignation had already overspread her face and temples, +her eyes flashed, and her voice became firm and full. + +"What do you mean, sir," she asked. + +"Why," said he, "couldn't there be an understanding between us? In fact, +Mrs. Tyrrell, you would find me a friend to you." + +She made no reply but returned into the room. + +"Mr. M'Clutchy," said she, "I thought that a woman--especially a poor, +unprotected widow like me--might, at least, come into your house about +her necessary business without being insulted; I thought that if there +was one house above another where I ought to expect protection, it is +yours. It's your duty, I think, to protect them that's livin' upon +this property, and strugglin' to pay you, or him that employs you, the +hard-earned rent that keeps them in poverty and hardship. I think, sir, +it ought to be your duty, as I said, to protect me, and such as me, +rather than leave us exposed to the abominable proposals of your son." + +"How is this?" said Val; "where are you, Phil?" + +Phil entered with a grin on him, that betrayed very clearly the morals +of the father, as well as of himself. There was not the slightest +appearance of shame or confusion about him; on the contrary, he looked +upon the matter as a good joke, but, by no means, so good as if it had +been successful. + +"Phil," said his father, barely restraining a smile, "is it possible +that you could dare to insult Mrs. Tyrrell under this roof?" + +"D--n my honor, a confounded lie," replied Phil; "she wanted me to lend +her the money, and because I did not, she told you I made proposals to +her. All revenge and a lie." + +Mrs. Tyrrell looked at him--"Well," said she, "if there is a just God +in heaven, you will be made an example of yet. Oh! little they know that +own this property, and every other property like it--of the insults, +and hardships, and oppressions, that their tenantry must suffer in +their absence from them that's placed over them; and without any one to +protect them or appeal to for satisfaction or relief--sir, that villain +in the shape of your son--that cowardly villain knows that the words he +insulted me in are not yet cowld upon his lips." + +"I have reason to put every confidence in what my son says," replied +Val very coolly, "and he is not a villain, Mrs. Tyrrell--so I wish you a +good morning, ma'am!" + +This virtuous poor woman flushed with a sense of outraged modesty, with +scorn and indignation, left the room; and with a distracted mind and +a breaking heart, sought her orphan, whose innocent face of wonder she +bedewed on her return home with tears of the bitterest sorrow. + +It is not our intention to describe at full length the several +melancholy scenes which occurred between poverty and dependence on one +side and cold, cruel, insolent authority, on the other. It is needless +and would be painful to tell how much age and helplessness suffered at +the hands of these two persons; especially at those of Phil, whose chief +delight appeared to consist in an authoritative display of pomp and +natural cruelty. + +The widow had not been more than a minute gone, when the door opened, +and in walked, without note or preparation, a stout swarthy looking +fellow named M'Clean. "Well, Tom," said Val, "is this you?" + +"Brother M'Clean," said Solomon, "how are you?" + +"What would ail me?" said M'Clean, "there's nothing wrong with me but +what money could cure--if I had it." + +"And you have no money, Tom!" said Val, smiling, "that, Tom, is a bad +business--for we never wanted it more than we do at present. Seriously, +have you the rent?" + +"D--n the penny, brother M'Clutchy; and what's more, won't have it for +at least three months." + +"That's bad again, Tom. Any news?--any report?" + +"Why, ay--there was a gun, or a pistol, or a pike, or something that +way, seen with the Gallaghers of Kilscaddan." + +"Ha--are you sure of that?" + +"Not myself sure; but I heard it on good authority; but I think we had +better make sure, by paying them a visit some night soon." + +"We will talk about that," said Val; "but I am told that you treated +priest Roche badly the other night. Is that true?" + +"Why, what did you hear?" asked M'Clean. + +"I heard you fired into his house; that you know was dangerous." + +"All right," said Phil; "what right have. Popish priests to live under +a Protestant government? By my sacred honor, I'd banish them like wild +cats." + +"No," said M'Clean, in reply to Val, "we did not; all we did was to play +'Croppies lie Down,' as we passed the house, and fire three volleys over +it--not into it; but if there was e'er a one among us with a bad aim you +know, that wasn't his fault or ours; ha--ha--by Japers," said he in a +low, confidential whisper, "we frightened the seven senses out of him, +at any rate--the bloody Papist rascal--for sure they are all that, and +be d----d to them." + +"Capital doctrine--and so they are, Tom; light, Tom; so you frightened +the bog Latin out of him! ha! ha! ha!" + +"Ha--ha--ha--by my sowl we did, and more maybe, if it was known; I must +be off now." + +"Go and help yourself to a bumper of spirits before you go," said Val; +"and, Tom, keep a sharp lookout, and whenever you find, or hear of arms, +let me know immediately." + +Tom only nodded to that, as he put the glass to his lips; "gentlemen," +said he, "your healths; here's no Popery! no surrender!" saying which, +he deposited the empty glass on the table, giving the same time two +or three short coughs occasioned by the strength of the liquor. "Good +morning, gentlemen--brother, M'Slime"--he voiced and nodded significantly +at Solomon, then added--"good people are scarce; so be a good boy and +take care of yourself." + +"Now, Tom, be a good fellow and don't forget the rent," said Val; Tom +nodded again, for it was a habit he had, and departed. + +The next person who presented himself was a little, meagre, thin looking +man, with a dry, serious air about him, that seemed to mark him as a +kind of curiosity in his way. From the moment he entered, Solomon seemed +to shrink up into half his ordinary dimensions, nor did the stranger +seem unconscious of this, if one could judge by the pungent expression +of his small gray eyes which were fastened on Solomon with a bitter +significance that indicated such a community of knowledge as did not +seem to be pleasant to either of them. + +"Ah, Sam Wallace," said Val, "always punctual, and never more welcome +than now; scraping and scrambling we are, Sam, to make up the demand for +the landlord." + +"What way ir ye, Mr. M'Clutchy; am gled to see ye luck so well; I a-am +indeed." + +"Thank you, Sam. How are all your family." + +"Deed, as well as can be expected under the stain that's over us." + +"Stain! What do you mean, Sam?" + +"Feth, a main what's purty well known; that misfortune that befell our +daughter Susanna." + +"Dear me, Sam, how was that?" + +"The way of it was this--she went as a children's maid into a religious +femily"--here the two glittering eyes were fiercely fastened upon +Solomon--"where she became a serious young person of decided piety, as +they call it--an' h--l till me, but another month will make it decided +enough---well, sir, deel a long she was there till the saint, her +masther, made a sinner of her, and now she's likely to have her gifts, +such as they ir. + +"I am very sorry to hear this, Sam; but, surely the man who seduced your +daughter does not deserve to be called religious." + +"Disn't he, feth? why, Lord bless you, sure it was all done in a +religious way--they sang psalms together, prayed together, read the +Bible together, and now the truth is, that the consequence will be +speaking for itself some of these days." + +Here another fiery look was darted at Solomon, who appeared deeply +engaged among leases, papers, and such other documents as were before +him. + +"It's a bad business certainly, Sam--but now about the rent?" + +"Hut! de'il a penny o' rent I have--hell take the tester; and yet, +for all that, all pay you afore a laive the room--what do you think of +that?" + +"I don't understand it, Sam." + +"Now," said Sam, going over to Solomon, "you'll pay Mr. M'Clutchy the +sum of twelve pounds, fourteen, and three pence for me, Mr. M'Slime--if +you please, sir." + +There was a peremptory tone in his words, which, joined to the +glittering look he riveted on Solomon, actually fascinated that worthy +gentleman. + +"My friend," replied Solomon, taking out his pocket-book, and seeming to +look for a memorandum, "you have made a slight mistake against yourself; +the sum, I find, is twelve pounds, seventeen, and three pence, so that +you have made a slight mistake of three shillings, as I said, against +yourself." + +"Do you pay the half year's rent, which is the sum, I say, and you may +give the three shillings in charity, which I know you will do." + +"Shall I fill the receipt," asked Val, looking to Solomon. + +"Fill it," said the other, "I am very glad I happened to have so much +about me, poor man." + +"So am I," returned Sam, significantly. + +Solomon rose, and with all the calmness of manner which he could assume, +laid the money down before M'Clutchy. + +"Try," said he, "if that is right." + +"Show here," said Sam, "ail reckon em;" and having done so, he put one +particular note in his pocket--"Never you mind," he added, addressing +himself to Val, "I'll give you another note for this;" and he winked +significantly as he spoke. He accordingly did so, and having paid the +money and received his receipt, he bid them goodbye, once more winking, +and touching his waistcoat pocket as he went. He had not been long gone, +however, when Solomon once more examined his pocket-book, and in a tone +which no pen could describe, exclaimed, "verily, the ways of Providence +are wonderful! Will you look again at that money?" said he--"I have +given away a note for ten pounds instead of a note for one." + +"It is not here, then," replied Val, "but I'll venture to say that Sam, +the knave, put it in his pocket when he made the exchange." + +"Shall I call him back?" said Phil, "there he goes towards the gate." + +"No," replied the other, "I have great reliance on Sam's honesty. He +will return it no doubt on perceiving the mistake, or if not, I shall +send to him for it. Yes, I know Sam is honest--truly the ways of +Providence are wonderful." + +So saying, with a visage peculiarly rueful and mortified, he closed his +book and put it in his pocket. + +The last person whom we shall notice was Brian M'Loughlin, on whose +features care had recently made a deep impression. On being asked to +sit, he declined--"I thank you," said he, "my visit will be but a short +one, and what I have to say, I can say standing." + +"That as you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; shall I fill your receipts?" + +"No," replied the other, "I simply came to state, that, owing to the +derangement of our affairs, I am not just now in a condition to pay my +rent." + +"That is unpleasant, Mr. M'Loughlin." + +"Of course it is," he replied; "that was my only business, Mr. +M'Clutchy, and now I bid you good-day." + +"Not so fast, if you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; do not be in such a hurry. +You remember a meeting you and I had once in Castle Cumber fair?" + +"I do." + +"You remember the extraordinary civility with which you treated me?" + +"I do, Val, and I only expressed what I thought then and think now; but +indeed you have improved the wrong way wonderfully since." + +"Your language was indiscreet then, and it is so now." + +"It was true for all that, Mr. M'Clutchy." + +"Now, might not I, if I wished, take ample revenge for the insulting +terms you applied to me?" + +"You might, and I suppose you will--I expect nothing else, for I know +you well." + +"You do not know me. Mr. M'Loughlin, so far from acting up to what +you imagine, I shall not avail myself of your position; I have no +such intention, I assure you, so that whatever apprehensions you +may entertain from others, you need have none from me. And, now, +Mr. M'Loughlin, do you not perceive that you judged me unjustly and +uncharitably?" + +"That's to be seen yet, Mr. M'Clutchy, time will tell." + +"Well, then, make your mind easy; I shall take no proceedings in +consequence of your situation--so far from that, I shall wait patiently +till it is your convenience to pay the rent--so now, I wish you good +day, Mr. M'Loughlin." + +"That is a beautiful exhibition of Christian spirit," exclaimed Solomon, +"good works are truly the fruit of faith." + +"Before you go," said Phil, with a sneer, "will you allow me to ask how +poor Mary is." + +M'Loughlin paused, and calmly looked first at Phil, and then at his +father. + +"Phil," said the latter, "I shall order you out of the room, sir, if I +hear another word on that unfortunate subject. I am very sorry, I assure +you, Mr. M'Loughlin, for that untoward transaction--to be sure, I wish +your daughter had been a little more prudent, but young ladies cannot, +or at least, do not always regulate their passions or attachments; and +so, when they make a false step, they must suffer for it. As for myself, +I can only express my sincere regret that the _faux pas_ happened, and +that it should have got wind in such a way as to deprive the poor girl +of her character." + +After contemplating the father and son for some time alternately, with +a look in which was visible the most withering contempt and scorn, and +which made them both quail before him, he replied: + +"Your falsehood, scoundrels, is as vindictive as it is cowardly, and you +both know it; but I am an honest man, and I feel to stoop to a defence +of my virtuous child against either of you, would be a degradation to +her as well as to myself. I therefore go, leaving you my contempt and +scorn, I could almost say my pity." + +He then walked out, neither father nor son having thought it prudent to +brave the expression of his eye by replying to his words. + +"Now," said Val, addressing Solomon, "let there be an execution issued +without a moment's delay--the man is doomed, his hour has come; and +so, may I never prosper, if I don't scatter him and his, houseless and +homeless, to the four corners of heaven! I have meshed him at last, and +now for vengeance." + +"But," said Solomon, in a tone of slight remonstrance, "I trust, my dear +M'Clutchy, that,in taking vengeance upon this man and his family, you +will do so in a proper spirit, and guard against the imputations of an +uncharitable world. When you take vengeance, let your motives be always +pure and upright and even charitable--of course you expect and hope +that you ruin this man and his; family for their own spiritual good. The +affliction that you are about! to bring on them, will soften and subdue +their hard and obstinate hearts, and lead them it is to be hoped, to a +better and more Christian state of feeling. May He grant it!" + +"Of course," replied Val, humoring him in his hypocrisy, "of course it +is from these motives I act; certainly it is." + +"In that case," said Solomon, "I am bound to acknowledge that I never +have heard a man vow vengeance, or express a determination to ruin his +fellow creature, upon more delightfully Christian principles. It is a +great privilege, indeed, to be able to ruin a whole family in such a +blessed spirit, I have no doubt you feel it so." + + + + +CHAPTEK XXIV.--Raymond's Sense of Justice + +--Voice of the Ideal--Poll Doolin's Remorse--Conversation on Irish +Property--Disclosure concerning Mary M'Laughlin + + +About dusk, on the evening of that day, Poll Doolin having put on her +black bonnet, prepared to go out upon some matter of a private nature, +as was clearly evident by her manner, and the cautious nature of all her +movements. Raymond, who eyed her closely, at length said-- + +"Take care now--don't harm them." + +"Them!" replied Poll, "who do you mean by them?" + +"The M'Loughlins--go and look at Mary, and then ask yourself why you +join the divil:--there now, that's one. Who saved me? do you know that, +or do you care? Very well, go now and join the divil, if you like, but I +know what I'll do some fine night. Here he leaped in a state of perfect +exultation from the ground. + +"Why, what will you do?" said Poll. + +"You'll not tell to-morrow," replied Raymond, "neither will any one +else; but I don't forget poor white-head, nor Mary M'Loughlin." + +"Well, keep the house like a good boy," she said, "till I come back; +and, if anybody should come in, or ask where I am, say that I went up to +Jerry Hannigan's for soap and candles." + +"Ay, but that's not true, because I know you're goin' to join the divil; +but, no matter--go there--you'll have his blessin' any how, and it's +long since he gave it to you--with his left hand. I wish I wasn't your +son--but no matther, no matther." + +She then peeped out to see that the coast was clear, and finding that +all was safe, she turned her steps hurriedly and stealthily, in a +direction leading from, instead of to Castle Cumber. When she was gone, +Raymond immediately closed and bolted the door, and began as before, to +spring up in the air in a most singular and unaccountable manner. +The glee, however, which became apparent on his countenance, had an +expression of ferocity that was frightful; his eyes gleamed with fire, +his nostrils expanded, and a glare of terrible triumph lit up every +feature with something of a lurid light. + +"Ha, ha!" he exclaimed, addressing, as some imaginary individual, an old +pillow which he caught up; "I have you at last--now, now, now; ha, you +have a throat, have you? I feel it now, now, now! Ay, that will do; hoo, +hoo--out with it, out with it; I see the tip of it only, but you must +give better measure ay, that's like it. Hee, hee, hee! Oh, there--that +same tongue never did you good, nor anybody else good--and what blessed +eyes you have! they are comin' out, too, by degrees, as the lawyers +goes to Heaven! Now! now! now! ay, where's your strugglin' gone to? It's +little you'll make of it in Raymond's iron fingers--Halloo, this is for +white-head, and white-head's--poor little white-head's---father, and +for poor little white-head's mother, and this--ay, the froth's comin' +now, now, now--and this last's for poor Mary M'Loughlin! Eh, ho, ho! +There now--settled at last, with your sweet grin upon you, and your +tongue out, as if you were makin' fun of me--for a beauty you were, and +a beauty you are, and there I lave you!" + +While uttering these words, he went through with violent gesticulations, +the whole course and form of physical action that he deemed necessary to +the act of strangling worthy Phil, whose graceful eidolon was receiving +at his hands this unpleasant specimen of the pressure from without. He +had one knee on the ground, his huge arms moving with muscular energy, +as he crushed and compressed the pillow, until the very veins of his +forehead stood out nearly black with the force at once of hatred and +exertion. Waving thus wrought his vengeance out to his own satisfaction, +he once more, in imagination, transformed the pillow into his little +white-head, as he loved to call him; and assumed a very different aspect +from that which marked the strangulation scene just described. + +"Come here," said he--taking it up tenderly in his arms--"come +here--don't be afeard now; there's nobody that can do you any harm. Ah! +my poor white-head--don't! you want your mother to keep up your poor +sick head, and to lay your poor pale face against her breast? And +your father--you would like to get upon his knee and climb up to kiss +him--wouldn't you, white-head? Yes, he says he would--white-head says he +would--and tell me, sure I have the cock for you still; and if you want +a drink I have-something better than bog wather for you--the sickening +bog wather! Oh! the poor-pale face--and the poor sickly eye--up in the +cowld mountains, and no one to think about you, or to give you comfort! +Whisht now--be good--och, why do I say that, poor white-head--for sure +you were always good! Well wait--bog wather--ah, no--but wait here--or +come wid me--I won't lay you down, for I love you, my poor white-head; +but come, and you must have it. My mother's gone out--and she's not +good; but you must have it." + +He rose, still holding the pillow like a child in his arms, and going +over to a cupboard, took from it a jug of milk, and so completely was +he borne away by the force of his imagination that he actually poured a +portion of the milk upon the pillow. + +The act seemed for the moment to dispel, the illusion--but only for +a moment; the benevolent heart of the poor creature seemed, to take +delight in these humane reminiscences; and, almost immediately, he was. +proceeding with his simple, but touching little drama. + +"Well," said he, "that's better than cowld bog wather; how would the +rich like to see their sick childre put on cowld wather and cowld +pratees? But who cares for the rich, for the rich doesn't care about +huz; but no matther, white-head--if you'll only just open your eyes +and spake to me, I'll give you the cock." He gave a peculiar call, as +he spoke, which was perfectly well known to the bird in question, which +immediately flew from the roost, and went up to him; Raymond then gently +laid the pillow down, and taking the cock up, put his head under one of +his wings, and placed him on the pillow where he lay quietly and as if +asleep. For many minutes he kept his eyes fixed upon the objects before +him, until the image in his mind growing still stronger, and more +distinct, became at last so painful that he, burst into tears. + +"No," said he, "he will never open his eyes again; he will never look +upon any one more: and what will she do when she hasn't his white head +before her?" + +Whilst poor Raymond thus indulged himself in the caprices of a +benevolent imagination, his mother was hastening to the house of Mr. +Hickman, the former agent of the Castle Cumber property, with the +intention of rendering an act of justice to an individual and a family +whom she had assisted deeply and cruelly to injure. Whilst she is on the +way, however, we will take the liberty of introducing our readers to Mr. +Hickman's dining-room, where a small party are assembled; consisting of +the host himself, Mr. Easel, the artist, Mr. Harman, and the Rev. Mr. +Clement; and as their conversation bears upon the topic of which we +write, we trust it may not be considered intruding upon private society +to detail a part of it. + +"Property in this country," said Hickman, "is surrounded by many +difficulties--difficulties which unfortunately fall chiefly upon those +who cultivate it. In the first place, there is the neglect of the +landlord; in the next, the positive oppression of either himself or +his agent; in the third, influence of strong party feeling--leaning too +heavily on one class, and sparing or indulging the other; and perhaps, +what is worse than all, and may be considered the _fons et origo +malorum_, the absence of any principle possessing shape or form, or that +can be recognized as a salutary duty on the part of the landlord. +This is the great want and the great evil. There should be a distinct +principle to guide, to stimulate, and when necessary to restrain +him; such a principle as would prevent him from managing his property +according to the influence of his passions, his prejudices, or his +necessities." + +"That is very true," said Mr. Clement, "and there is another duty which +a landlord owes to those who reside upon his property, but one which +unfortunately is not recognized as such; I mean a moral duty. In +my opinion a landlord should be an example of moral propriety and +moderation to his tenantry, so as that the influence of his conduct +might make a salutary impression upon their lives and principles. +At present the landed Proprietary of Ireland find in the country no +tribunal by which they are to be judged; a fact which gives them the +full possession of unlimited authority; and we all know that the absence +of responsibility is a great incentive to crime. No man in a free +country should be invested with arbitrary power; and yet, it is +undeniable that an Irish landlord can exercise it whenever he pleases." + +"Then what would you do," said Easel; "where is your remedy?" + +"Let there be protective laws enacted, which will secure the tenant from +the oppression and injustice of the landlord. Let him not lie, as he +does, at the mercy of his caprices, passions, or prejudices." + +"In other words," said Harman, "set the wolves to form protective +enactments for the sheep. I fear, my good sir, that such a scheme +is much too Utopian for any practically beneficial purpose. In the +meantime, if it can be done, let it. No legislation, however, will +be able, in my mind, to bind so powerful a class as the landlords of +Ireland are, unless a strong and sturdy public opinion is created in the +country." + +"But how is this to be done?" asked Easel. + +"It is to be done by educating the people; by teaching them their proper +value in society; by instructing them in their moral and civil duties. +Let them not labor under that humiliating and slavish error, that the +landlord is everything, and themselves nothing; but let the absurdity +be removed, and each party placed upon the basis of just and equal +principle." + +"It is very right," said Hickman, "to educate the people, but who is to +educate the landlords?" + +"A heavy task, I fear," said Easel, "from what I have observed since I +came to the country." + +"The public opinion I speak of will force them into a knowledge of their +duties. At present they disregard public opinion, because it is too +feeble to influence them; and consequently they feel neither fear nor +shame. So long as the landlords and the people come together as opposing +or antithetical principles, it is not to be supposed that the country +can prosper." + +"But how will you guide or restrain the landlord in estimating the value +of his property?" inquired Mr. Clement. "Here are two brothers, for +instance, each possessed of landed property; one is humane and +moderate, guided both by good sense and good feeling; this man will +not overburthen his tenant by exacting an oppressive rent. The other, +however, is precisely the reverse of him, being naturally either +rapacious or profligate, or perhaps both; he considers it his duty to +take as much out of the soil as he can, without ever thinking of the +hardships which he inflicts upon the tenant. Now, how would you remedy +this, and prevent the tenant from becoming the victim either of his +rapacity or profligacy?" + +"Simply by taking from him all authority in estimating the value of his +own property. + +"But how?" said Clement, "is not that an invasion of private right?" + +"No; it is nothing more than a principle which transfers an unsafe +privilege to other hands in order to prevent its abuse." + +"But how would you value the land?" + +"I am not at this moment about to legislate for it; but I think, +however, that it would be by no means difficult to find machinery +sufficiently simple and effective for the purpose. I am clearly of +opinion that there should, be a maximum value on all land, beyond +which, unless for special purposes--such, for instance, as building--no +landlord ought to be permitted to go. This would prevent an incredible +amount of rack-renting and oppression on the one hand; and of poverty, +revenge, and bloodshed on the other. Where is the landlord now who looks +to the moral character or industrial habits of a tenant? Scarcely one. +On the contrary, whoever bids highest, or bribes highest, is sure to +be successful, without any reference to the very qualities which, in a +tenant, ought to be considered as of most importance." + +"I have now," said Easel, "made myself acquainted with the condition and +management of the Castle Cumber property; and, truth to tell, I am not +surprised at the frightful state of society upon it. M'Clutchy is +the type of too numerous a class, and his son is a most consummate +scoundrel. Why my--why Lord Cumber should have appointed him to his +agency I cannot imagine." + +"But I can," said Harman; "that which has appointed many a scoundrel +like him--necessity on the part of the landlord, and a desire to extend +his political influence in the county." + +"He could not have gone a more successful way about it, however," +observed Easel. + +"If there be one curse," observed Harman, "worse than another on any +such property, it is to have for your agent an outrageous partisan--a +man who is friendly to one party and inimical to another--a fellow who +scruples not to avail himself of his position, for the gratification of +party rancor, and who makes the performance of his duties subservient to +his prejudices, both religious and political. Think, for instance, of a +rancorous No-Popery-man being made agent to an estate where the majority +of the tenantry are Catholics." + +"As is the case on the Castle Cumber estate," said Easel. + +"And as is the case on too many estates, throughout the country," added +Harman; but the truth is, that unless something is done soon to redress +the local grievances of the people, there will, I fear, be bad work +among us ere long. The tenantry are all ready in a state of tumult; they +assemble on Sundays in vindictive-looking and suspicious groups; they +whisper together, as if fraught with some secret purposes; and I am also +told that they frequently hold nightly meetings to deliberate on what +may be done. Between the M'Clutchys and M'Slimes, I must say they have +ample cause for discontent." + +"Everything considered," said Easel, "it is better that we should +anticipate them. When I say we, you of course know who I mean; but +indeed we shall expect every aid, and it will be welcome, no matter from +what quarter it comes." + +"M'Clutchy and the estate in question are topics on which I wish not to +speak," said Hickman; "I do not blame Lord Cumber for dismissing me, +Mr. Easel, the fact being--that I dismissed myself; but I most sincerely +hope and trust, for the sake of the people, that some change for the +better may take place. Good God, sir, how popular your----how popular +Lord Cumber might become, and what a blessing to his tenantry and his +country he might be in a short time." + +"I feel that, Mr. Hickman," said Easel, "I feel it now, because I know +it. In this instance, too, I trust that knowledge will be power. Lord +Cumber, sir, like other Irish Lords, has nothing to detain him in his +native country but his own virtue. His absence, however, and the absence +of his class in general, is, I fear "--and he smiled as he spoke--a +proof that his virtue, as an Irish nobleman, and theirs, is not +sufficiently strong to resist the temptations of an English court, and +all its frivolous, expensive, and fashionable habits. He has now no +duty as an Irish peer to render his residence in Ireland, at least for a +considerable portion of the year, a matter of necessity to his class and +his country. However, let us not despair--I have reason to think that +his brother has nearly succeeded in bringing him to a sense of his duty; +and it is not impossible that the aspect of affairs may be soon changed +upon his estate." + +"The sooner, the better, for the sake of the people," said Harman. "By +the by, Mr. Clement, are you to be one of the Reverend gladiators in +this controversial tournay, which is about to take place in Castle +Cumber?" + +"No," said Mr. Clement; "I look upon such exhibitions as manifestations +of fanaticism, or bigotry, and generally of both. They are, in fact, +productive of no earthly good, but of much lamentable evil; for instead +of inculcating brotherly love, kindness, and charity--they inflame the +worst passions of adverse creeds--engender hatred, ill-will, and fill +the public mind with those narrow principles which disturb social +harmony, and poison our moral feelings in the very fountain of the +heart. I believe there is no instance on record of a sincere convert +being made by such discussions." + +"But is there not an extensive system of conversion proceeding, called +the New Reformation?" asked Easel. "It appears to me by the papers, that +the Roman Catholic population are embracing Protestantism by hundreds." + +"How little are the true causes of great events known," said Hickman, +laughing; "who, for instance, would suppose that the great spiritual +principle by which this important movement has been sustained is the +failure of the potato crop in the country, where this gracious work is +proceeding. One would think, if everything said were true, that there +are epidemics in religion as well as in disease; but the truth is, that +the knavery or distress of two or three Catholics who were relieved, +when in a state of famine, by a benevolent and kind-hearted nobleman, +who certainly would encourage neither dishonesty nor imposture, first +set this Reformation agoing. The persons I speak of, fearing that his +Lordship's benevolence might cease to continue, embraced Protestantism +_pro forma and pro tempore_. This went abroad, and almost immediately +all who were in circumstances of similar destitution adopted the same +course, and never did man pay more dearly for evangelical truth than did +his Lordship. In the forthcoming battle the parsons are to prove to the +world that all who belong to Popery must be damned, whilst the priests, +on the other hand, broil the parsons until they blaze in their own fat. +But, my God, when will charity and common sense prevail over bigotry and +brimstone!" + +At this moment a servant entered to say that Poll Doolin--for she was +well known--wished to see Mr. Harman on very particular business. + +"I can scarcely bear to look on the wretch," said Harman, "but as I +Strongly suspect, that she may in some shape be useful to us, I desired +her to come here. She called three times upon me, but I could not bring +myself to see or speak to' her; she shall be the bearer of no messages +to me," he said bitterly, "let her carry them elsewhere; d--n her." + +He betrayed deep and powerful emotion as he spoke, but, as his allusions +were understood, there was--from a respect for his feelings, on the part +of his audience--no reply made to his observations. + +"Since she called first," said Harman, pursuing the train of melancholy +thought, "some vague notion, like the shadow of a dream crossed me; +but, alas! it is transgressing the bounds of imagination itself even +to suppose that it could be true. However, if it were, it is in your +presence, sir" he said, addressing himself to Easel, "that I should wish +to have it detailed; and, perhaps, after all, this slight, but latent +reflection of hope, influenced me in desiring her to come here. +Gentlemen, excuse me," said he, covering his face with his hands, "I am +very wretched and unhappy--I cannot account for what has occurred; it +looks like an impossibility, but it is true. Oh, if he were a man!--but, +no, no, you all know how contemptible--what a dastardly scoundrel he +is!" + +"Harman, my dear fellow," said Hickman, "we understand you, we respect +your feelings, and we sympathize with you--but, in the meantime, do see +and hear this woman." + +He had scarcely uttered the words when the servant entered, stating that +she was at the door. + +"Let her come in," said Harman; "let the vile wretch come in." + +"And, do you, John, withdraw," said Hickman. + +Poll Doolin entered. + +Her appearance threw Harman into a violent state of agitation; he +trembled, got pale, and seemed absolutely sickened by the presence of +the wicked wretch who had been the vile instrument of Phil M'Clutchy's +success, of Mary M'Loughlin's dishonor, and of his own unhappiness. It +was the paleness, however, of indignation, of distress, of misery, of +despair. His blood, despite the paleness of his face, absolutely boiled +in his veins, and that the more hotly, because he had no object on which +he could wreak his vengeance. Poll, who was always cool, and not without +considerable powers of observation, at once noticed the tumult of his +feelings, and, as if replying to them, said-- + +"I don't blame you, Mr. Harman, thinkin' as you do; the sight of me +is not pleasant to you--and, indeed, you don't hate me more than you +ought." + +"What is your business with me?" said Harman. + +Poll looked around her for a moment, and replied-- + +"I'm glad of it, the more the better; Francis Harman," she proceeded, +"sit down, and listen to me; yes, listen to me--for I have it in my +power to make you a happy man." + +"Great God! could my dream be true?" said Harman, placing himself in the +chair. + +"Listen to me," she continued. + +"I listen; be brief--for I am in no humor for either falsehood or +imposture." + +"I never bore you ill-will," she said, "and yet I have--and may God +forgive me for it I--scalded the very heart within you." + +Harman again covered his face with his hands and groaned. + +"Will it relieve your heart to know that Mary M'Loughlin's an innocent +and a slandered girl?" + +"Prove that," said Harman, starting to his feet, "oh, prove that, Poll, +and never whilst I have life shall you want a--but, alas!" he exclaimed, +"I am a beggar, and can promise you nothing." + +"And I'll tell you who beggared you before all is over--but, as I said, +listen. It's now fifteen years since Brian M'Loughlin transported my son +Dick, for stealin' a horse from him; he was my only son, barrin' poor +Raymond, who was then a mere slip. He was a fine young man, but he was +wild and wicked, and it was in Squire Deaker's house, and about +Squire Deaker's stables, that he picked up his dishonesty and love of +horses--he was groom to that ould profligate, who took him into sarvice +for a raison he had." + +"Be as brief as you can," said Harman, "brief--brief." + +"On the contrary, Mr. Harman," said Clement, "let her, if you will be +advised by me, take her own time, and her own way." + +"Thank you, sir," said Poll, "that's just what I wish. Well, he, +M'Loughlin, transported my boy, that my heart was in, and from that +minute I swore never to die till I'd revenge that act upon him. Very +well--I kept my word. Phil M'Clutchy sent for me, and in his father's +presence, we made up a plot to disgrace Miss M'Loughlin. I brought her +out two or three times to meet me privately, and it was all on your +account, by the way, for I tould her you were in danger; and I so +contrived it, that on one or two occasions you should see myself and her +together. I made her promise solemnly not to tell that she saw me, or +mention what passed between us, or if she did, that your life was not +safe; her love for you, kept her silent even to yourself. But it was +when you were sent to gaol, that we found we had the best opportunity of +ruining her, which was all I wanted: but Phil, the boy, wished to give +you a stab as well as her. As for myself it was in for a penny, in for a +pound with me, and I didn't care a traheen what you suffered, provided +I had my revenge on any one belongin' to Brian M'Loughlin, that +transported my son." + +"Is Mary M'Loughlin innocent?" asked Harman, starting from his seat, and +placing his face within a few inches of Poll Doolin's. + +Poll calmly put her hand upon his shoulder, and said:-- + +"Sit down, young man; don't disturb or stop me in what I'm sayin', and +you'll come the sooner at the truth." + +"You are right," he replied, "but who can blame me?--my happiness +depends on it." + +"Listen," said she, "we made up a plan that she was to meet Phil behind +her father's garden--and why? Why, because I told her that Val had +made up his mind to hang you; but I said that Phil, for her sake, could +prevent that, and save you, if she would only see him that he might +clear himself of some reports that had gone abroad on him. For your +sake she consented to that; but not until I had brought her nearly to +despair, and till she believed that there was no other hope for you. +It was Val M'Clutchy, though, that put me up to bring several of the +neighbors, and among the rest your own cousin, to witness the trick of +Phil's gettin' in at the windy; as it was his to bring the bloodhounds, +at the very minute, to catch the scoundrel in the poor girl's bedroom. +That was enough; all the wather in the say couldn't wash her white, when +this was given to the tongue of scandal to work upon." + +"But," said Mr. Clement, "you unfortunate woman, let me ask, why you +suffered Mr. Harman to live under a conviction of Miss M'Loughlin's +guilt?" + +"I tould you I had sworn to be revenged on either him, M'Loughlin, or +his; and so I was--may God forgive me!--but one day that my poor foolish +son undertook to convey Hugh Roe O'Regan's wife across the ford of Drum +Dhu river while in a flood, he lost his footing, and never would breathe +the breath of life again, only that God sent John M'Loughlin to the +spot, and at the risk of his own life, he saved poor Raymond's. From +that day out my heart changed. If one son was sent from me in life, +the other was saved from death; and I swore to tell you the truth. But +that's not the only injury I have done you. They put me up, and so +did Solomon M'Slime, to drop hints wherever I went, that you and Mr. +M'Loughlin were on the point of failin'; and, I believe, from some words +I heard Phil say to Solomon one morning, that they put something into +the paper that injured you." + +"What was it you heard?" said Hickman. + +"Phil said--'all right, Solomon, it's in--and--d--n my honor and +reputation, but it will set a screw loose in the same firm;' he was +reading the paper as he spoke." + +"All this is of great value," said Easel, "and must be made use of." + +"As for me," said Harman in an impassioned voice, "I care not a jot for +our bankruptcy; the great and oppressive evil of my heart is removed; I +ought, I admit, to have known that admirable girl better than to suffer +any suspicion of; her to have-entered into my heart; but, then, I must +have discredited my own eyes--and so I ought. God bless you, Poll! +I forgive you all that you and those malignant villains have made me +suffer, in consequence of what you have just now disclosed to us." + +"I could not have believed this," observed Easel; "I scarcely thought +that such profound infamy was in human nature. Good God--and these two +men hold the important offices of Head and Under Agent on the Castle +Cumber estate!" + +"Have you nothing particular, Poll, about that pious little man, +M'Slime?" asked Hickman. Poll, however, who in no instance was ever +known to abuse professional confidence, shook her head in the negative. + +"No;" said she, "I know nothing that I can tell about him; honor +bright's my motive--no--no. However, thank God, I've aised my mind by +tellin' the truth, and when you see Mr. M'Loughlin, Mr. Harman, I'll +thank you to let him know that I have done his daughter justice, and +that from the minute his son saved mine, I had no ill-will to him or his +family." She then departed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV.--Val and his Son brought to Trial + +A Ribbon Lodge--Their Crimes against the People,--Their Doom and +Sentence--A Rebel Priest Preaching Treason--A Respite. + + +It is undoubtedly a fact, as was observed in the dialogue just given, +that the state of affairs on this property was absolutely fearful. The +framework of society was nearly broken up, for such was the heartless +rapacity and cruelty--such the multiplied and ingenious devices by which +he harassed and robbed the tenantry, or wreaked his personal vengeance +on all who were obnoxious to him or his son, that it was actually +impossible matters could proceed much longer in a peaceable state. If +the reader will accompany us to a large waste house, from which a +man had been some time before ejected, merely because Val had a pique +against him, he may gather from the lips of the people themselves, there +assembled, on the very night in question, sufficiently clear symptoms of +the state of feeling in the neighborhood. + +The hour at which they assembled, or rather began to assemble, was +eleven o'clock, from which period until twelve they came in small groups +of two or three at a time; so as to avoid observation on the way. Some +of them had their faces blackened, and others who appeared utterly +indifferent to consequences, did not think it worth their while to +assume such a disguise. The waste house in which they were assembled, +stood on a hillside, about half way between Castle Cumber and Drum Dhu; +so that its isolated situation was an additional proof of their security +from, surprise by the bloodhounds. The party were nearly all armed, each +with such weapons as he could get, and most of them with fire or side +arms, such as they were. They had several lights, but so cautious were +they, that quilts and window-cloth's were brought to hang over the +windows, to prevent them from being seen; for it was well known that the +house was not inhabited, and the appearance of lights in it would most +certainly send the wreckers on their back; as it was, however, they +obviated all danger of this in the way I mention. When these men were +met together, it might be supposed that they presented countenances +marked by savage and ferocious passions, and that atrocity and cruelty +were the-predominating traits in each face. This, however, was not so. +In general they were just as any other number of men brought together +for any purpose might be. Some, to be sure, among them betrayed strong +indications of animal impulse; but taken together, they looked just as +I say. When they were all nearly assembled, one might-naturally imagine +that the usual animated dialogue and discussions, which the cause that +brought them together furnished, would have taken place. This, however, +was not the case. On the contrary, there was something singularly wild, +solemn, and dreadful, in their comparative quietness; for silence we +could not absolutely term it. + +There were many reasons for this. In the first place, there existed +an apprehension of the yeomanry and cavalry, who had on more than one +occasion surprised meetings of this description before. 'Tis true +they had sentinels placed--but the sentinels themselves had been made +prisoners of by parties of yeomen and blood-hounds, who had come in +colored clothes, in twos and threes, like the Ribbon men themselves. +There were other motives, however, for the stillness which +prevailed--motives which, when we consider them, invest the whole +proceedings with something that is calculated to fill the mind with +apprehension and fear. Here were men unquestionably assembled for +illegal purposes--for the perpetration of crime--for the shedding +of human blood. But in what light did they view this terrible +determination? Simply as a redress of grievances; as the only means left +them of doing that for themselves which the laws refused to do for them. +They keenly and bitterly felt the scourge of the oppressor, who, +under the sanction, and in the name of those laws which ought to +have protected them, left scarcely anything undone to drive them +to desperation; and now finding that the law existed only for their +punishment, they resolved to legislate for themselves, and retaliate +on their oppressor. There is an awful lesson in all this; for it is +certainly a frightful thing to see law and justice so partially and +iniquitously administered as to disorganize society, and to make men +look upon murder as an act of justice, and the shedding of blood as a +moral triumph, if not a moral virtue. When, therefore, the very little +conversation which took place among them, and that little in so low a +tone, is placed in connection with the dark and deadly object of their +meeting, it is no wonder that one cannot help feeling strangely and +fearfully on contemplating it. + +About twelve o'clock they were all assembled but one individual, whom +they appeared to expect, and for whom they looked out eagerly. Indeed +they all came to a unanimous resolution of doing nothing that pertained +to the business of the night until he should come. For this purpose they +had not to wait long. A little past twelve a tall and powerful young +man entered, leading by the hand poor insane Mary O'Regan--his pitiable +and unconscious mother. He had heard of the death of his brother, during +the cruel scene at Drum Dhu, and of the other inhuman outrage which +had driven her mad. He had come from a remote part of England with the +single, fixed, and irrevocable purpose of wreaking vengeance on the head +of him who had brought madness, desolation, and death upon his family. + +On his entering, there was a slight low murmur of approbation, but the +appearance of his mother caused it to die away. This, however, was +almost immediately succeeded by another of a very different +character--one in which there was a blending of many feelings--compassion, +rage, revenge. The first thing the young man did was to take a candle in +his hand, and hold it first close to his mother, so as that she might be +distinctly seen, and afterward, near to his own face, in order that she +might have a clear and equally distinct view of him. "Mother," said he, +then, in a full voice, "do you know your son?" Her eye was upon him as +he spoke, but it was vacant; there appeared no trace of recognition or +meaning in it. + +"You all see that miserable sight," said he--"there my mother stands, +and doesn't know who it is that is spaking to her. There she stands, +blasted and destroyed by the oppressor. You all see this heart-breaking +sight with your own eyes, and you all know who did it." + +'Tis singular how closely virtue and crime are allied! The very sympathy +excited by this touching and melancholy spectacle--the very tenderness +of the compassion that was felt for the mother and son, hardened the +heart in a different sense, and stimulated them to vengeance. + +"Now," said the young man, whose name was Owen, "let them that have been +oppressed and harassed by this Vulture, state their grievances, one at a +time." + +An old man near sixty rose up, and after two or three attempts to speak, +was overpowered by his feelings, and burst into tears. "Poor Jemmy +Devlin!" they exclaimed, "may God pity you!" + +"Spake for Jemmy, some of you, as the poor man isn't able to spake for +himself." + +"Why, the case was this," said a neighbor of the poor man's. "Jemmy's +son, Peter, was abused by Phil, the boy, because he didn't pay him +duty-work, and neglect his own harvest. He told Peter that he was a +Popish rebel and would be hanged. Peter told him to his teeth that he +was a liar, and that he couldn't be good, havin' the father's bastard +dhrop in him. That was very well, but one night in about a month +afterwards, the house was surrounded by the bloodhounds, poor Peter's +clo'es searched, and some Ribbon papers found in them; they also got, or +pretended to get, other papers in the thatch of the house. The boy +was dragged out of his bed, sent to goal, tried, found guilty on the +evidence of the bloodhounds, and sentenced to be flogged three times; +but never was flogged a third time, for he died on the fourth day after +the second flogging; and so, bein' an only son--indeed all the child the +poor couple had--the old man is now childless and distracted, God help +him!" + +"Very well," exclaimed Owen bitterly--"very well--who next?" + +A man named M'Mahon rose up,--"The curse of the Almighty God may for +ever rest upon him!" he exclaimed. "He transported my two brave sons, +because they were White-boys; and if they were, who made them Whiteboys +but himself and his cruelty? I will never see my darling sons' faces +again, but if I die without settlin' accounts wid him, may I never know +happiness here or hereafter!" + +The usual murmur of commiseration followed this. + +"Well," said Owen, "whose turn comes next?" + +About a dozen of those who had been turned out of Drum Dhu now stood up. + +"We were turned out," said one of them, who acted as spokesman, "on one +of the bittherest days that God ever sent on the earth; out of shame, I +believe, because your brother and ould Mary Casey died, he let us back +for a few days, but after that we had to flit. Some of the houses he had +pulled down, and then he had to build them again for his voters. Oh, if +it was only known what we suffered!" + +"And why did he turn you out?" + +"Why, because we didn't promise to vote as he wished." + +"He took my crop," said another, "at his own valuation, drew it home, +and stacked it until the markets rose. I know what he got beyond the +rent," proceeded the man, "but divil a rap ever the villain gave me back +of the surplus, but put it in his pocket--and now I and my family are +starving." + +"Ay, and," said another, "he took five firkins of as good butter from +me as ever was made by hand, and at his own price, too. What could I +do?--he said it was as a friend he did it; but if I objected to it, he +said he must only seize. May the divil seize him, at any rate, as he +will, the villain, I trust in God! He got to my own knowledge, thirteen +pence a pound for it, and all he allowed me for it was eight pence +halfpenny. May the devil run an auger through him, or baste his sowl wid +it, this night; for of all the villains that ever cursed an estate, he's +the greatest--barrin' the scoundrel that employs him." + +A poor but decent-looking man rose up. "I could bear," said he, "his +cheating, or his defrauding me out of my right--I could bear that, +although it's bad enough too; but when I think of the shame and disgrace +his son brought upon my innocent girl, undher his father's roof, +where she was at sarvice--may God curse him this night! My child--my +child--when I think of what she was, and what she is, sure the thought +of it is enough to drive me distracted, and to break my heart. Are we to +live undher sich men? Ought we to allow sich villains to tramp us undher +their feet? When I spoke to his blasted son about ruinin' my child--'My +good fellow,' says he, 'if you don't keep a civil tongue in your head, +I will trot you off the estate--I will send you to graze somewhere else. +It's d--d proud you ought to feel for your daughter having a child by +the like o' me;'--for that's the way--they first injure us, and kick us +about as they plaise, and then laugh at and insult us." + +Another man got up. "You all know," said he, "that I hould fourteen +acres in the townland of Augha-Winchal; and when Jerry Grogan went to +America last spring, I offered for his farm of twelve acres, that lay +into my own, marchin it. I offered him the rent he axed, which indeed +was too much at any rate--but it lay so snug to me, that I could take +more out of it than another. 'You shall have the farm, Frank,' said he; +'but if you do, there must be ten pounds of an Imput.'* Well and good, +I paid him the ten pounds, and Paddy Gormly, of Aughadarragh, gave him +another Input for the same farm; and yet, hell bellis the villain, he +gave it to neither of us, but to one of his own Blood-hounds, who gave +him twenty for it. But that wasn't all--when I axed him for my money, +he laughs in iny face, and says, 'Is 'it jokin' you are? Keep yourself +quiet,' says he, 'or may be I'll make it a black joke to you.' Hell +re-save him!" + + * Imput--a douceur--or, in other words, a bribe to the + agent, on entering upon a farm. + +"He engaged me, and my horse and car," said another, "and Toal Hart with +his, in the same way; to draw stones from Kilrud-den; and he said that +whatever we earned he'd allow us in the rint. Of coorse we were glad to +bounce at it; and, indeed, he made us both believe that it was a favor +he did us. So far so good; but when the rint day came, hell purshue the +testher he'd allow either of us; but threatened and abused us, callin' +us names till the dogs wouldn't lick our blood. The Lord conshume him +for a netarnal villain!" + +"That's all very well, but yait till you hear how he sarved me out," +said a poor, simple-looking creature. "It was at the gale day before +the last, that I went to him wid my six guineas of rint. 'Paddy Hanlon,' +says he, 'I'm glad to see you; an', Paddy, I've something in my eye for +you; but don't be spakin' of it. Is that the rent?--hand it to me--an', +Paddy, as this is Hurry Day with me--do like a good decent man, call +down on Saturday about twelve o'clock, and I'll give you your receipt, +and mention the other thing.' By coorse I went highly delighted; but the +receipt he gave me was a notice to pay the same gale over agin, tellin' +me besides, that of all the complatest rascals ever came acrass him +I was the greatest; that he'd banish me off the estate and what not! +Accordingly, I had to pay the same rint twiste. Now will any one tell me +how that man can prosper by robbin' and oppressin the poor in this way? +Hell scorch him!" + +The next that rose was a tall, thin-looking man, with much care and +sorrow in his face. "Many a happy day," he said, "did I and mine spend +under this roof; and now we may say that we hardly have a roof to +cover us. Myself, and my wife, hould a cabin on' the estate of Major +Richardson. My sons and daughters, instead of living comfortably at home +with us, are now scattered abroad, earnin' their hard bread on other +people's floors. And why? Because the Vulture's profligate son couldn't +succeed in ruinin' one of my daughters; and because her brother 'Tom +tould him that if ever he catched him comin' about the place again, or +annoyin' his sisther, he'd split him with a spade. Afther that, +they were both very friendly--father and son--and when I brought my +half-year's rent--'never mind now,' said they, 'bring it home, Andy; +maybe you may want it for something else that 'ud be useful to you. +Buy a couple o' cows--or keep it till next rent day; we won't hurry +you--you're a dacent man, and we respect you.' Well, I did put the +money to other uses, when what should come down on me when the next half +year's rent was due, but an Execution. He got a man of his own to swear +that I was about to run away wid the rent, and go to America; and in +a few days we were scattered widout a house to cover us. May the Lord +reward him accordin' to his works!" + +There were other unprincipled cases where Phil's profligacy was +brought to bear upon the poverty and destitution of the uneducated +and unprotected female; but it is not our intention to do more than to +allude to them. + +We now return to young O'Regan himself, who, at the conclusion, once +more got a candle, and precisely in the same manner as he had done in +the beginning, held it up and asked in a full firm voice, "mother, +do you know your son?" And again received the same melancholy and +unconscious gaze. "Now," said he, "you've all heard an account, and +a true account, of these two villains' conduct. What have they left +undone? They have cheated you, robbed you, and oppressed you in every +shape. They have scourged to death and transported your sons--and they +have ruined your daughters, and brought them to sin and shame--sorrow +and distraction. What have they left undone, I ax again? Haven't they +treated yez like the dirt under their feet? hunted yez like bloodhounds, +as they are--and as if ye were mad dogs? What is there that they haven't +made yez suffer? Shame, sin, poverty, hardship, bloodshed, ruin, death, +and madness; look there"--he added, vehemently pointing to his insane +mother--"there's one proof that you see; and you've heard and know the +rest. And now for their trial." + +Those blood-stirring observations were followed by a deep silence, in +fact, like that of death. + +"Now," said he, pulling out a paper, "I have marked down here twelve +names that I will read for you. They are to act as a jury; they are to +thry them both for their lives--and then to let us hear their sentence." + +He then read over the twelve names, every man answering to his name as +he called them out. + +"Now," he proceeded, "this is how you are to act; your silence will give +consent to any question that is asked of you. Are you willin' that these +twelve men should thry Valentine M'Clutchy and his son for their lives; +and that the sentence is to be put in execution on them?" To this there +was a profound and ominous silence. + +"Very well," said he, "you agree to this. Now," said he to the jurors, +"find your sentence." + +The men met together, and whispered in the centre of the floor, for a +few minutes--when he, who acted as foreman, turned towards O'Regan and +said--"They're doomed." + +"To what death?" + +"To be both shot." + +"Are you all satisfied with this sentence?" + +Another silence as deep and ominous as before. + +"Very well," said he, "you all agree. As for the sentence, it is a just +one; none of you need throuble yourselves any farther about that; you +may take my word for it, that it will be carried into execution. Are you +willing it should?" + +For the third time an unbroken silence. "That's enough," said he; "and +now let us go quietly home." + +"It is not enough," said a voice at the door; "let none depart without +my permission, I command you;" and the words were no sooner uttered than +the venerable Father Roche entered the house. + +"Wretched and misguided men," said he, to what a scene of blood and +crime have I just now been an ear witness? Are you men who live under +my ministry?--who have so often heard and attended to my sincere and +earnest admonitions? I cannot think ye are, and yet, I see no face here +that is unknown to me. Oh, think for a moment, reflect, if you can, upon +what you have been doing!--planning the brutal, ungodly murder of two +of your fellow creatures! And What makes the crime still more revolting, +these two fellow creatures father and son. What constituted you judges +over them? If they have oppressed you, and driven many of you to ruin +and distress, and even to madness, yet, do you not know that there is +a just God above to whom they must be accountable for the deeds done in +the flesh? Are you to put yourselves in the place of the Almighty?--to +snatch the sceptre of justice and judgment out of his hands, and take +that awful office into your own, which belongs only to him? Are ye +indeed mad, my friends? Do you not know that out of the multitude +assembled here this moment there is not one of you whose life would not +be justly forfeited to the law? not one. I paused at the half closed +door before I entered, and was thus enabled to hear your awful, your +guilty, your blasphemous proceedings. Justice belongs to God, and in +mocking justice you mock the God of Justice." + +"But you don't know, Father Roche," said O'Regan, "you couldn't imagine +all the villany he and his son have been guilty of, and all they've made +the people suffer." + +"I do know it too well; and these are grievances that God in his own +good time will remove; but it is not for us to stain our souls with +guilt in order to redress them. Now, my children, do you believe that +I feel an interest in your welfare, and in your happiness hereafter? Do +you believe this?" + +"We do, sir; who feels for us as you do?" + +"Well, then, will you give me a proof of this?" + +"Name it, sir, name it." + +"I know you will," continued the old man; "I know you will. Then, in the +name of the merciful God, I implore, I entreat--and, if that will +not do, then, as his servant, and the humble minister of his word and +will--I command you to disavow the murderous purpose you have come to +this night. Heavenly Father," said he, looking up with all the fervor +of sublime piety, "we entreat you to take from these mistaken men the +wicked intention of imbruing their guilty hands in blood; teach them a +clear sense of Christian duty; to love their very enemies; to forgive +all injuries that may be inflicted on them; and to lead such lives as +may never be disturbed by a sense of guilt or the tortures of remorse!" +The tears flowed fast down his aged cheeks as he spoke, and his deep +sobbings for some time prevented him from speaking. Those whom he +addressed were touched, awakened, melted. He proceeded:-- + +"Take pity on their condition, O Lord, and in thine own good time, if it +be thy will, let their unhappy lot in this life be improved! But, +above, all things, soften their hearts, inspire them with good and pious +purposes, and guard them from the temptations of revenge! They are my +flock--they are my children--and, as such, thou knowest how I lave and +feel for them!" + +They were more deeply moved, more clearly awakened, and more +penetratingly touched. Several sobs were heard towards the close of his +prayer, and a new spirit was diffused among them. + +"Now, my children," said he, "will you obey the old man that loves you?" + +"We will," was the universal response, "we will obey you." + +"Then," said he, "you promise in the presence of God, that you will not +injure Valentine M'Clutchy and his son?" + +"In the presence of God we promise," was the unanimous reply. + +"Then, my children, may the blessing of Almighty God be with you, and +guard and protect you wherever you go. And now proceed home, and sleep +with consciences unburthened by guilt." + +And thus were Valentine M'Clutchy and his son saved, on this occasion, +by the very man whom they termed "a rebellious Popish priest." + +It was observed, however, by most of those present that Owen O'Regan +availed himself of the good priest's remonstrance to disappear from the +meeting--thus evading the solemn obligation to refrain from crime, into +which all the rest entered. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI.--Harman's Interview with Mary M'Loughlin + +--An Execution for Rent Forty Years ago--Gordon Harvey's Friendly +Remonstrance with his Brother Orangemen. + + +The development, by Poll Doolin, of the diabolical plot against Mary +M'Loughlin's character, so successfully carried into effect by Phil +and Poll herself, took a deadly weight off Harman's heart. Mary, the +following morning, little aware that full justice had been rendered her, +was sitting in the parlor with her mother, who had been complaining for +a day or two of indisposition, and would have admitted more fully the +alarming' symptoms she felt, were it not for the declining health of her +daughter. If there be one misery in life more calculated than another to +wither and consume the heart, to make society odious, man to look like a +blot in the creation, and the very providence of God doubtful, it is +to feel one's character publicly slandered and misrepresented by +the cowardly and malignant, by the skulking scoundrel and the moral +assassin--to feel yourself loaded with imputations that are false, +calumnious, and cruel. Mary M'Loughlin felt all this bitterly. + +In her heart; so bitterly, indeed, that all relish for life had departed +from her. She was now spiritless, hopeless, without an aim or object, or +anything to sustain her, or to give interest to existence. Philosophy, +which too often knows little about actual life, tells us that a +consciousness of being innocent of the social slanders that are heaped +upon an individual, is a principle that ought to support and console +him. But the truth is, that this very consciousness of innocence is +precisely the circumstance which sharpens and poisons the arrow that +pierces him, and gives rancor to the wound. + +On the morning in question, Mary sat by her mother who lay reclining +on a sofa, each kindly attempting to conceal from the other the illness +which she felt. Mary was pale, wasted, and drooping; the mother, on the +contrary, was flushed and feverish. + +"I wish, my dear mother," said she, "that you would yield to me, and go +to bed: you are certainly worse than you wish us to believe." + +"It won't signify, Mary; it's nothing but cold I got, and it will pass +away. I think nothing of myself, but it grieves my heart to see you look +so ill; why don't you strive to keep up your spirits, and to be what +you used to be? But God help you, my poor child," said she, as the tears +started to her eyes, "sure it's hard for you to do so." + +"Mother," she replied, "it is hard for me; I am every way surrounded +with deep and hopeless affliction. I often wish that I could lay my +head quietly in the grave; but then, I should wish to do so with my name +unstained--and, on the other hand, what is there that can bind me to +life? I am not afraid of death, but I fear to die now; I know not, +mother, what to do, I am very much to be pitied. Oh," she added, whilst +the tears fell in torrents from her cheeks, "after all, I feel that +nothing but death can still the thoughts that disturb me, and release me +from the anguish that weighs me down and consumes me day by day." + +"My dear child," replied her mother, "we must only trust to God, who, +in his own good time, will set everything right. As it is, there is no +respectable person in the neighborhood who believes the falsehood, with +the exception of some of the diabolical Wretch's friends." + +Mary here shuddered, and exhibited the strongest possible symptoms of +aversion, even to momentary sickness. + +"If," pursued the mother, "the unfortunate impression could be removed +from poor, mistaken Harman, all would be soon right." + +The mention of Harman deeply affected the poor girl; she made no reply, +but for some minutes wept in great bitterness. + +"Mother," said she, after a little time, "I fear you are concealing +the state of your own health; I am sure, from your flushed face +and oppressive manner of speaking, that you are worse than you think +yourself, or will admit." + +"Indeed, to tell the truth, Mary, I fear I am; I feel certainly very +feverish--I am burning." + +"Then, for heaven's sake, go to bed, my dear mother; and let the doctor +at once be sent for." + +"If I don't get easier soon, I will," replied her mother, "I do not much +like going to bed, it looks so like a fit of sickness." + +At this moment a tap at the door announced a visitor, and almost +immediately Harman entered the parlor. It is scarcely necessary to say, +that Mary was quite unprepared for his appearance, as indeed was her +mother. The latter sat up on the sofa, but spoke not, for she scarcely +knew in what terms to address him. Mary, though much moved previous to +his entrance, now assumed the appearance of a coldness, which in her +heart she did not feel. That her lover, who ought to have known her +so well, should have permitted himself to be borne away by such an +ungenerous suspicion of her fidelity, was a reflection which caused her +many a bitter pang. On the other hand, when she looked back upon the +snare into which she had been drawn, it was impossible not to admit +that the force of appearances made a strong case against her. For this +reason, therefore, she scarcely blamed Harman, whilst, at the same +time, she certainly felt that there was something due to her previous +character, and the maidenly delicacy of her whole life. + +"You are surprised, Mary, to see me here," said Harman; "and you, Mrs. +M'Loughlin, are no doubt equally so?" + +"I think it is very natural we should be, James," replied Mrs. +M'Loughlin. "I must confess that your visit is an unexpected one +certainly, and my anxiety now is, to know the cause to which we may +attribute it. Sit down." + +He did not sit, however, but exclaimed--"Good heavens, what is this? +Why, Mary, I should scarcely have known you. This change is dreadful." + +Neither of the females spoke; but the daughter bestowed on him a single +look--long, fixed, and sorrowful--which did more to reprove and soften +him, than any language could have done. It went to his heart--it +filled him with grief, repentance, remorse. For many a day and night +afterwards, her image, and that look, were before him, exerting a +power over his soul, which kindled his love to a height it would never +otherwise have reached. He approached her. + +"What reparation do I not owe you, my beloved Mary, for my base and +ungenerous belief in that scoundrel's vile calumny? Such reparation, +however, as I can make, I will. You are not aware that Poll Doolin has +confessed and disclosed the whole infamous plot; and in a few days the +calumny will be extinct. As for me, you know not what a heavy weight +pressed my heart down to the uttermost depths of suffering. I have not +been without other calamities--yet this, I take heaven to witness, was +the only one I felt." + +There was a tone of deep feeling and earnest sincerity in his words, +which could not for a moment be mistaken. His face, too, was pale, and +full of care, and his person much thinner than it had been. + +Mary saw all this at a glance--as did her mother. "Poor James," said the +latter, "you have had your own troubles, and severe ones, too, since we +saw you last." + +"They are gone," he replied; "I care not, and think little about them, +now that Mary's character is vindicated. If I should never see her, +never speak to her more, the consciousness that she is the same angelic +being that I first found her to be, would sustain me under the severest +and most depressing calamities of life. And God knows," he said, "I +am likely to experience them in their worst shape; but, still, I have +courage now to bear up against them." + +On approaching Mary nearer, he perceived that her eyes were suffused +with tears--and the sight deeply affected him. "My dear Mary," said he, +"is there not one word for me? Oh, believe me, if ever man felt deep +remorse I do." + +She put her hand out to him, and almost at the same instant became +insensible. In a moment he placed her, by her mother's desire, on the +sofa, and rang the bell for some of the servants to attend. Indeed, +it would be difficult, if not impossible, to look upon a more touching +picture of sorrow and suffering than that pure-looking and beautiful +girl presented as she lay there insensible; her pale but exquisite +features impressed with a melancholy at once deep and tender, as was +evinced by the large tear-drops that lay upon her cheeks. + +"May God grant that her heart be not broken," exclaimed her mother, +"and that she be not already beyond the reach of all that our affections +would hope and wish! Poor girl," she added, "the only portion of the +calamity that touched her to her heart was the reflection that you had +ceased to love her!" + +Mrs. M'Loughlin whilst she spoke kept her eyes fixed upon her daughter's +pale but placid face; and whilst she did so, she perceived that a few +large tears fell upon it, and literally mingled with those of the poor +sufferer's which had been there before. She looked up and saw that +Harman was deeply moved. + +"Even if it should be so," he exclaimed, "I shall be only justly +punished for having; dared to doubt her." + +A servant having now entered, a little cold water was got, which, +on being sprinkled over her face and applied to her lips, aided in +recovering her. + +"Your appearance," said she, "and the intelligence you brought were +so unexpected, and my weakness so great, that I felt myself overcome; +however, I am better--I am better, now;" but whilst she uttered these +words her voice grew tremulous, and they were scarcely out of her lips +when she burst out into an excessive fit of weeping. For several minutes +this continued, and she appeared to feel relieved; she then entered into +conversation, and was able to talk with more ease and firmness than she +had evinced for many a day before. It was just then that a knock came +to the hall door, and in a couple of minutes about a dozen of Val's +blood-hounds, selected to act as bailiffs and keepers--a task to which +they were accustomed--entered the house with an Execution to seize for +rent. This, at all times and under all circumstances, is a scene in +which a peculiar license is given to brutality and ruffianism; but in +the present case there were additional motives; with which the reader is +already acquainted, for insulting this family. Not that the mere-levying +of an Execution was a matter of novelty to either Mary or her mother, +for of late there had unfortunately been several in the house and on +their property before. These, however, were conducted with a degree of +civility that intimated respect for, if not sympathy with, the feelings +of a family so inoffensive, so beneficial to the neighborhood by the +employment they afforded, and, in short, every way so worthy of respect. + +"What is all this about?" asked Harman. + +"Why," said one of the fellows, "we're seizin' for rent: that's what +it's about." + +"Rent," observed the other, surprised, "why, it is only a few minutes +since Mr. M'Loughlin told me that M'Clutchy assured him--" + +"Captain M'Clutchy, sir, if you plaise." + +"Very well--Captain M'Clutchy, or Colonel M'Olutchy, if you wish, +assured him that--" + +"I have nothing to do with what he assured him," replied the fellow; "my +duty is to take an inventory of the furniture; beg pardon, ladies, but +we must do our duty you know." + +"Let them have their way," said Mrs. M'Loughlin, "let them have their +way; I know what they are capable of. Mary, my dear, be firm--as I said +before--our only trust is in God, my child." + +"I am firm, my dear mother; for, as James said, the grief of griefs +has been removed from me. I can now support myself under anything--but +you--indeed, James, she is battling against illness these three or +four days--and will not go to bed; it is for you I now feel, mother." + +Mr. M'Loughlin and his family here entered; and truth to tell, boundless +was the indignation of the honest fellow, at this most oppressive and +perfidious proceeding on the part of the treacherous agent. + +"Ah," said he, "I knew it--and I said it--but let the scoundrel do his +worst; I scorn him, and I defy him in the very height of his ill-gotten +authority. My children," said he, "keep yourselves cool. Let not this +cowardly act of oppression and revenge disturb or provoke you. This +country, as it is at present governed--and this property as it is at +present managed--is no place for us to live in. Let the scoundrel then +do his worst. As for us, we will follow the example of other respectable +families, who, like ourselves, have been forced to seek a home in +a distant country. We will emigrate to America, as soon as I can +conveniently make arrangements for that purpose; for God knows I am sick +of my native land, and the petty oppressors which in so many ways harass +and goad the people almost to madness." + +He had no sooner uttered these words, than the fellow whose name was +Hudson, whispered to one of his companions, who immediately disappeared +with something like a grin of exultation on his countenance. Mrs. +M'Loughlin's illness was now such as she could no longer attempt to +conceal. The painful shock occasioned by this last vindictive proceeding +on the part of M'Clutchy, came at a most unhappy moment. Overcome by +that and her illness, she was obliged to go to bed, aided by her husband +and her daughter; but before she went, it was considered necessary to +get one of the ruffians, as an act of favor, to take an inventory of +the furniture in her chamber, in order that her sick room might not be +intruded upon afterwards. + +Mary having put her sick mother to bed, returned to the parlor, from +whence she was proceeding to the kitchen, to make whey with her own +hands for the invalid, when in passing along the hall, Harman and her +brother John met her. She was in a hurry, and was about to pass without +speaking a word, when she and they were startled by the following +dialogue-- + +"So, Bob, did you see the pale beauty in the parlor?" + +"I did, she's a devilish pretty girl." + +"She is so--well, but do you know that she is one of Mr. Phil's ladies. +Sure he was caught in her bed-room some time ago." + +"Certainly, every one knows that; and it appears she is breaking her +heart because he won't make an honest woman of her." + +John caught his sister, whose agitation, was dreadful, and led her away; +making at the same time, a signal to Harman to remain quiet until his +return--a difficult task, and. Harman felt it so. In the meantime, the. +following appendix was added to the dialogue already detailed-- + +"Why do you hould such talk under this, roof, Leeper?" asked a third +voice. + +The only reply given to this very natural query was a subdued cackle, +evidently proceeding from the two first speakers. + +"Do you both see that strong horse-pistol," said the third voice--for in +those days; an Execution was almost always levied by armed men--"by the +Bible of truth, if I hear another word of such conversation from any +man here while we're under this roof, I'll sink the butt of it into his +skull! It's bad enough that we're here on an unpleasant duty--" + +"Unpleasant! speak for yourself." + +"Silence, you ruffian--on an unpleasant-duty; but that's no reason that +we should grieve the hearts and insult the feelings of a respectable +family like this. The truth, or rather the blasted falsehood that was +put out on the young lady is now known almost everywhere, for Poll +Doolin has let out the truth. + +"But didn't Misther Phil desire us to say it, so as that they might hear +us." + +"Mr. Phil's a cowardly scoundrel, and nothing else; but, mark me, Phil +or no Phil, keep your teeth shut on that subject." + +"Just as much or as little of that as we like, if you please, Mr. ----." + +"Very well, you know my mind--so take the consequences, that's all." + +"Here goes then," said the ruffian, speaking in a deliberately loud +voice, "it's well known that Miss M'Loughlin is Misther Phil's----" + +A heavy blow, followed by a crash on the floor--a brief conflict as if +with another person, another blow, and another crash followed. Harman, +in a state of feeling which our readers may imagine, but which we cannot +describe, pushed in the door, which, in fact, was partially open. + +"What, what is this?" he asked, pretending ignorance, "is it fighting +among yourselves you are? Fie, fie! Gordon Harvey, what is the matter?" + +"Only a little quarrel of our own, Mr. Harman," replied the excellent +fellow. "The truth is, sir, that these men--ay, gather yourselves up, +do; you ought to have known Gordon Harvey's blow, for you have often +enough heard of it before now; there is no great mistake about that, +you scoundrels--the truth is, Mr. Harman, that these fellows were primed +with whiskey at M'Clutchy's and they gave me provoking language that +I couldn't bear; it's well for them that I didn't take the butt end +of that," said he, holding up the horse-pistol in his left hand, "but +you'll find ten for one that would rather have a taste of it than of +this;" shutting his right--which was a perfect sledgehammer, and, when +shut, certainly the more formidable weapon of the two. + +The two ruffians had now gathered themselves up, and appeared to be +considerably sobered by Harvey's arguments. They immediately retired +to a corner of the room, where they stood with a sullen but vindictive +look--cowardly and ferocious, ready to revenge on M'Loughlin's family +the punishment which they had received, but durst not resent, at the +hands of Harvey--unquestionably one of the most powerful and generous +Orangemen that was ever known in Castle Cumber. Let us not for a moment +be mistaken. The Orangemen of Ireland contained, and still contain among +them, men of great generosity, courage, and humanity. This is undeniable +and unquestionable; but then, it is well known that these men never took +any part in the outrages perpetrated by the lower and grosser grades, +unless to prevent outrage. In nothing, indeed, was the lamentable state +of the Irish Church Establishment more painfully obvious than in the +moral ignorance and brutal bigotry, which want of Christian instruction +and enlightened education had entailed upon men, who otherwise have been +a high-minded, brave, and liberal class, had they not been corrupted by +the example of the very pastors--ungodly, loose, convivial, political, +anything but Christian--from whom they were to expect their examples and +their precepts. But to return. Harman having given a significant glance +to Harvey, left the room, and the latter immediately followed him. + +"Harvey," said he, "I have overheard the whole conversation; give me +your hand, for it is that of an honest man. I thank you, I thank you--do +try and prevent these ruffians from insulting the family." + +"I don't think the same thing will happen a second time, Mr. Harman," +replied the gigantic Orangeman; "but, the truth is, the men are half +drunk, and were made so before they came here." + +"Well, but I thank you, Harvey; deeply and from my soul, I thank you." + +"You needn't, Mr. Harman; I hate a dirty and ungenerous thing. Phil's a +brother Orangeman, and my tongue is tied--no doubt I'll be expelled for +knocking these two scoundrels down, but I don't care; it was too bad and +too cruel, and, let the upshot be what it may, Gordon Harvey is not the +man to back a scoundrelly act, no matter who does it, or who orders it." + +They shook hands cordially, and we now must leave the family for a time, +to follow the course of other events that bear upon our narrative. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII.--Bob Beatty's Last Illness + +--A Holy Steeple Chase--A Dead Heat--Blood against Varmint--Rival +Claims--A Mutual Disappointment--The Last Plea for Salvation--_Non +Compos Mentis_ + + +Our readers may remember that we have alluded to an Orangeman, named Bob +Beatty, who had become a convert to the Church of Rome. This Beatty, on +the part of the priest, was a very fair set-off against Darby O'Drive, +on the part of Mr. Lucre. As they were now on the eve of the great +discussion, each felt considerable gratification in having his convert +ready to produce at the discussion, as a living proof of his zeal for +religious truth. The principal vexation which the priest had felt, +lay in the almost insuperable difficulty of keeping Bob from liquor, +inasmuch as whenever he happened to take a glass too much, he always +forgot his conversion, and generally drank the Glorious Memory, and all +other charter toasts, from habit. It so happened, however, that a few +days previous to the great Tournay, Bob became so ill in health, that +there was little hope of his surviving any length of time. During this +illness, he had several interviews with. Father Roche, who informed +him of the near approach of death, and prepared him, as well as could +readily be done, to meet it; for truth to tell, he was at all times an +impracticable subject on which to produce religious impressions. Be this +as it may, a day or two previous to the discussion, his wife, feeling +that he was near his dissolution, and determined, if possible, that +he should not die a Roman Catholic, went in hurry for Mr. Clement, who +happened to be in attendance on a funeral and was consequently from +home. In the meantime, his Roman Catholic neighbor, hearing that she +meant to fetch the minister, naturally anxious that the man should not +die a Protestant, lost no time in acquainting Father M'Cabe with his +situation. Mrs. Beatty, however, finding that Mr. Clement was not to be +procured, left her message with his family, and proceeded in all haste +to Mr. Lucre's in order to secure his attendance. + +"My good woman," said he, "your husband, I trust, is not in such danger. +Mr. Clement cannot certainly be long absent, and he will attend; I am +not quite well, or I should willingly go myself." + +"Very well," said the woman, "between you, I suppose, you will let the +priest, M'Cabe have him; and then it will be said he died a Papish." + +"What's that?" inquired Mr. Lucre, with an interest which he could not +conceal; "what has M'Cabe to do with him?" + +"Why,", returned the woman, "he has made him a Papish, but I want him to +die a True Blue, and not shame the family." + +"I shall attend," said Lucre; "I shall lose no time in attending. What's +your husband's name?" + +"Bob Beatty, sir." + +"Oh, yes, he is subject to epilepsy." + +"The same, sir." + +She then gave him directions to find the house, and left him making very +earnest and rapid preparations to do what he had not done for many a +long year--attend a death-bed; and truly his absence was no loss. + +In the meantime, Father M'Cabe having heard an account of Bob's state, +and that the minister had been sent for, was at once upon the alert, and +lost not a moment in repairing to his house. So very eager, indeed, +were these gentlemen, and so equal their speed, that they met at the +cross-roads, one of which turned to Bob's house. In the meantime, we +may as well inform our readers here, that Bob himself had, in his wife's +presence, privately sent for Father Roche. + +Each instantly suspected the object of the other, and determined in his +own mind, if possible, to frustrate it. + +"So, sir," said the priest, "you are on your way to Bob Beatty's, who +is, as you know, one of my flock. But how do you expect to get through +the business, Mr. Lucre, seeing that you are so long out of practice?" + +"Bob Beatty was never, properly speaking, one of your flock, Mr. M'Cabe. +I must beg leave to ride forward, sir, and leave you to your Christian +meditations. One interview with you is enough for any man." + +"Faith, but I love you too well to part with you so easily," said the +priest, spurring on his horse, "cheek by jowl--and a beautiful one you +have--will I ride with you, my worthy epicure; and, what is more, I'll +anoint Bob Beatty before your eyes." + +"And, perhaps, perform another miracle," replied Mr. Lucre, bitterly. + +"Ay will, if it be necessary," said the priest; "but I do most solemnly +assure you that by far the most brilliant miracle of modern days is to +find the Rev. Phineas Lucre at a sick-bed. Depend upon it, however, if +Beatty had not turned Catholic, he might die like a dog for the same Mr. +Lucre." + +"I will not abstract the last shilling from his pocket for the unction +of superstition, at all events." + +"Not you, faith; you'll charge him nothing I grant, and right glad am I +to find that you know the value of your services. You forget, however, +that my flock pay you well for doing this nothing--that is, for +discharging your duty--notwithstanding." + +Both now pushed on at a rapid rate, growling at each other as they went +along. On getting into the fields they increased their speed; and as the +peasantry of both religions were apprised of the circumstances connected +with Bob's complaint and conversion, each party cheered on their own +champion. + +"More power to you Father M'Cabe; give him the Latin and the Bravery!" +(*Breviary) + +"Success, Mr. Lucre! Push on, sir, and don't let the Popish rebel send +him out of the world with a bandage on his eyes. Lay in the Bible, Mr. +Lucre! Protestant and True Blue forever--hurra!" + +"The true Church forever, Father M'Cabe, the jewel that you war! Give +the horse the spurs, avourneen. Sowl, Paddy, but the _bodagh_ parson has +the advantage of him in the _cappul_. Push on, your reverence; you +have the divil and the parson against you, for the one's drivin' on the +other." + +"Cross the corner of the Barny Mother's meadow, Mr. Lucre, and wheel +in at the garden ditch; your horse can do it, although you ride the +heaviest weight. Lay on him, sir, and think of Protestant Ascendancy. +King William against Popery and wooden shoes; hurra!" + +"Father, achora, keep your shoulder to the wind, and touch up _Parra +Gastha_ (* Literally, Paddy Speedy) wid the spurs. A groan for the +Protestant parson, father darlin'!" + +"Three groans for the Popish Mass Book. Bravo, Mr. Lucre! That ditch was +well cleared!" + +"Devil a purtier, father jewel! Parra Gastha's a darlin', and brought +you over like a bird--hurra!" + +"Have you no whip, Mr. Lucre? Whip and spur, sir, or the Popish garran +will be in before you. By the great Boyne, I'm afraid the charger's +blown." + +"God enable you, father avilish! Blown! Why what would you expect, an' +it the first visit ever the same horse made to a sick-bed' in his life; +he now finds it isn't on the king's highway he is--and I'll go bail it's +himself that's cursin' the same duty in his heart. Bravo, Father Pat! +Parra Gastha's the boy that knows his duty--more power, Parra Gastha! +Divil pursue the hair's turned on him; but, be me sowl, it wouldn't +be so, if he led the life the Protestant blood did.--feedin' high, and +doin' nothin'." + +"Mr. Lucre, pull out; I see you're hard up, sir, and so is your charger. +Push him, sir, even if he should drop. Death and Protestantism before +Popery and dishonor! Hurra, well done!" + +"Ah, be me sowl, it's near the last gasp wid him and his masther, and +no wondher; they're both divilish far out of their element. Faith, if +they had Father M'Cabe and Parra Gastha's practice, they wouldn't be the +show they are this minute. Well done both! fresh and fair, snug and dry, +you do it. Hurra!" + +When the two worthy gentlemen had reached Bob's house, they dismounted, +each in a perspiration, and rushed to the bed of the dying man. Mr. +Lucre sat, of course, at one side, and the priest at the other; Mr. +Lucre seized the right hand, and the priest the left: whilst Bob looked +at them both alternately, and gave a cordial squeeze to each. + +"You thought, sir," said Mr. Lucre to the priest haughtily, "that he +would have died an idolater." + +Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand again. + +"And you thought," replied Father M'Cabe, "that he would die a +Protestant or a heretic, which is the same thing." + +Bob squeezed Father M'Cabe's hand once more. + +"Gentlemen," said Bob, "be pleased to sit down--you are both Christian +ministers, I hope." + +"No," said Father M'Cabe, "there is but one of us a Christian; Mr. Lucre +here is not worthy of the name, Bob." + +Bob squeezed the priest's hand a third time. + +"Beatty," said Mr. Lucre, "this is a solemn occasion, and I'm bound to +say, that the priest here is merely a representative of Antichrist. This +is not a time to disguise the truth." + +Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand a third time also. + +"Beatty," continued Mr. Lucre, "if you permit yourself to die a Papist, +you seal your own everlasting punishment." + +"True," said Bob. + +"Bob," said the priest, "if after the explanations of the true church +which I have given you, you allow yourself to relapse into heresy, you +will suffer for it during all eternity." + +"True," said Bob. + +"There is no hope for those, who, like the Papists and idolators, hew +for themselves vessels that will hold no water," said Lucre. + +[Illustration: PAGE 322-- "Ah, very right," said Bob.] + +"Ah, very right," said Bob. + +"There is but one Faith, one Church, and one Baptism, and that is ours," +said the priest. + +"Ah, you can do it," said Bob, with a squeeze. + +"Bob," said the wife, "what do you mean? I don't understand you--die a +True Blue, and don't shame your friends." + +"Gentlemen," said Bob, "I feel disposed to sleep a little. It is likely +that a few minutes' rest may strengthen my weak body, and clear my mind +for the consolations of religion, which you are both so beautifully +prepared to give me. I feel rather drowsy, so I'll close my eyes for a +few minutes, and doze a little." + +Bob closed his eyes for about four mortal hours and a half, during +which time our two worthy gentlemen sat at his bed-side with the most +exemplary patience. At length he opened his eyes, and inquired for his +daughter Fanny, who had been sent for Father Roche; to her he whispered +a few words, after which she went out, but almost immediately returned. +He looked at her inquiringly, and she answered: + +"Yes, just as I expected--in a few minutes." + +"Gentlemen," said Bob, "I am much aisier now; but I am at a loss whether +to to prepared for heaven by you, Mr. Lucre, or by Father M'Cabe." + +"Beatty," said Lucre, "you have have access to the Bible, and +possessing, as you do, and as you must, the Scriptural knowledge, gained +from that sacred book, to die in the church which worships crucifixes +and images would leave you without hope or excuse." + +"Ah!" said Bob, "you are sound in point of doctrine. No man is more +orthodox than you." + +"Bob," said the priest, "you know what the Council of Trent says:-- +'There is but one Church, one Faith, and one Baptism'--if you die out +of that church, which is ours, woe betide you. No, Bob, there is no hope +for you if you die an apostate, Bob." + +"Ah," said Bob, "you can send it home, Father M'Cabe." + +"Bob," said the wife, "die a True Blue, and don't shame the family." + +"There is but a blue look up for you if you do," said Father M'Cabe. + +"Blue is the emblem of hope, and for that reason the Orange system has +adopted it as illustrative of our faith," said Mr. Lucre. + +He had scarcely uttered the words, when Father Roche entered the sick +apartment. High and haughty was the bow he received from Mr. Lucre; +whilst Father M'Cabe seemed somewhat surprised at the presence of +the reverend gentlemen. The latter looked mildly about him, wiped the +moisture from his pale forehead and said-- + +"Mrs. Beatty, will you indulge me with a chair? On my return home I lost +not a moment in coming here; but the walk I have had is a pretty long +one, the greater part of it being up-hill." + +"Well," replied Mrs. Beatty, "I'm not the woman to think one thing and +speak another. To be sure, I'd rather he would die a True Blue than a +Papish; but since he will die one, I'd rather have you at his side than +e'er a priest in the kingdom. If there is a Christian among them, you +are one--you are--so, Bob dear, since you're bent on it, I won't disturb +you." + +"Bring your chair near me," said Bob; "where is your hand, my dear sir? +Give Me your hand." Poor Bob caught Father Roche's hand in his, and +pressed it honestly and warmly. + +"Bob," said Mr. Lucre, "I don't understand this; in what creed are you +disposed to die?" + +"You see, sir," said M'Cabe, "that he _won't_ die in yours at any rate." + +"You will not die in my creed!" repeated the parson, astonished. + +"No," said Bob; "I will not." + +"You will then die in mine, of course?" said Mr. M'Cabe. + +"No," replied Bob; "I will not." + +"How is that?" said the priest. + +"Explain yourself," said Mr. Lucre. + +"_I'll die a Christian_," replied Bob. "You're both anything but what +you ought to be; and if I wasn't on my death-bed you'd hear more of it. +Here is a Christian clergyman, and under his ministry I will die." + +"Ah," said Mr. Lucre, "I perceive, Mrs. Beatty, that the poor man's +intellect is gone; whilst his reason was sound he remained a staunch +Protestant, and as such, we shall claim him. He must be interred +according to the rights of our church, for he dies clearly _non compos +mentis_." + +Father Roche now addressed himself to Beatty, and prepared him for his +great change, as became a pious and faithful minister of the gospel. +Beatty, however, was never capable of serious impressions. Still, his +feelings were as solemn as could be expected, from a man whose natural +temperament had always inclined him to facetiousness and humor. He died +the next day, after a severe fit, from which he recovered only to linger +about half an hour in a state of stupor and insensibility. + +This conflict between the priest and the parson was a kind of prelude in +its way, to the great Palaver, or discussion, which was immediately to +take place between the redoubtable champions of the rival churches. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII.--Darby is a Spiritual Ganymede + +--Preparations for the Great Discussion, which we do not +give--Extraordinary Hope of a Modern Miracle--Solomon like an Angel +looking into the Gospel. + + +On the morning of the appointed day, the walls of Castle Cumber were +duly covered with placards containing the points to be discussed, and +the names of the speakers on both sides of the question. The roads +leading to the scene of controversy were thronged with people of +all classes. Private jaunting cars, gigs, and carriages of every +description, rolled rapidly along. Clergymen of every creed, various as +they are, moved through the streets with eager and hurried pace, each +reverend countenance marked by an anxious expression arising from the +interest its possessor felt in the result of the controversy. People, in +fact, of all ranks and religions, were assembled to hear the leading men +on each side defend their own creeds, and assail those of their enemies. +The professional men relinquished, for the day, their other engagements +and avocations, in order to be present; and invalids, who had not been +long out of their sick rooms, tottered down, wrapped in cloaks, to hear +this great display of learning and eloquence. Early on the preceding +morning, the Catholic Clergy, though without the sanction of their +Bishops, formally signified to the committee of the society, their +intention of meeting them man to man on the platform. Before the door +was open to the crowd at large, the opposing clergymen and the more +select friends on both sides were admitted by a private entrance. +The gallery was set aside for ladies, who, in Ireland, and we believe +everywhere else, form an immense majority at religious meetings. + +When the house was thronged to suffocation, none but a man intimately +acquainted with the two-fold character of the audience, could observe +much more within it, than the sea of heads with which it was studded. +The Protestant party looked on with a less devoted, but freer aspect; +not, however, without an evident feeling and pride in the number and +character of their champions. A strong dash of enthusiasm might be seen +in many fair eyes among the females, who whispered to each other an +occasional observation concerning their respective favorites; and +then turned upon the divine champions, smiles that seemed to have been +kindled by the sweet influences of love and piety. Among the Roman +Catholic party there was an expression of wonder created by the novelty +of the scene; of keen observation, evinced by the incessant rolling +of their clear Milesian eyes from one party to another, together with +something like pity and contempt for the infatuated Biblemen, as they +called them, who could so madly rush upon the sharp theological spears +of their own beloved clergymen. Dismay, or doubt, or apprehension of any +kind, were altogether out of the question, as was evident from the proud +look, the elated eye, and the confident demeanor by which each of them +might be distinguished. Here and there, you might notice an able-bodied, +coarse-faced Methodist Preacher, with lips like sausages, sombre visage, +closely cropped hair, trimmed across his face, sighing from time to +time, and, with eyes half closed, offering up a silent prayer for +victory over the Scarlet Lady; or, perhaps, thinking of the fat ham +and chicken, that were to constitute that day's dinner, as was not +improbable, if the natural meaning were to be attached to the savory +spirit with which, from time to time, he licked, or rather sucked at, +his own lips. He and his class, many of whom, however, are excellent +men, sat at a distance from the platform, not presuming to mingle with +persons who consider them as having no title to the clerical character, +except such as they conveniently bestow on each other. Not so the +Presbyterian Clergymen who were present. They mingled with their +brethren of the Establishment, from whom they differed only in a less +easy and gentlemanly deportment, but yielded to them neither in kindness +of intellect, firmness, nor the cool adroitness of men well read, +and quite as well experienced in public speaking. At the skirt of +the platform sat the unassuming Mr. Clement, a calm spectator of the +proceedings; and in the capacity of messenger appeared. Darby O'Drive, +dressed in black--he had not yet entered upon the duties of his new +office--busily engaged in bringing in, and distributing oranges and +other cooling fruit, to those of the Protestant party who were to +address the meeting. High aloft, in the most conspicuous situation +on the platform, sat Solomon M'Slime, breathing of piety, purity, and +humility. He held a gilt Bible in his hands, in order to follow the +parties in their scriptural quotations, and to satisfy himself of their +accuracy, as well as that he might fall upon some blessed text, capable +of enlarging his privileges. There was in his countenance a serene +happiness, a sweet benignity, a radiance of divine triumph, partly +arising from the consciousness of his own inward state, and partly +from the glorious development of scriptural truth which would soon be +witnessed, to the utter discomfiture of Popery and the Man of Sin. +For some time before the business of the day commenced, each party +was busily engaged in private conferences; in marking passages for +reference, arranging notes, and fixing piles of books in the most +convenient position. Mr. Lucre was in full pomp, exceedingly busy, +directing, assisting, and tending their wants, with a proud courtesy, +and a suavity of manner, which no man could better assume. The +deportment and manners of the Roman Catholic clergy were strongly +marked, and exceedingly well defined; especially in determination of +character and vigor of expression. In a word, they were firm, resolute, +and energetic. Among the latter, the busiest by far, and the most +zealous was Father M'Cabe, who assumed among his own party much the same +position that Mr. Lucre did among his. He was, no doubt of it, in great +glee, and searched out for Mr. Lucre's eye, in order to have a friendly +glance with him, before the play commenced. Lucre perceived this, and +avoided him as much as he could; but, in fact, the thing was impossible. +At length he caught the haughty parson's eye, and exclaimed with a +comical grin, which was irresistible-- + +"I am glad to see you here, Mr. Lucre; who knows, but we may make a +Christian of you yet. You know that we, as Catholics, maintain that the +power of working miracles is in the Church still; and that, certainly, +would prove it." + +Mr. Lucre bowed, and smiled contemptuously, but made no reply. + +When the chairman was appointed, and the regulations by which the +meeting was to be guided, read and assented to by both parties, the +melee commenced; and, indeed, we are bound to say, that a melancholy +comment upon Christian charity it was. It is not our intention to give +anything like a report of this celebrated discussion, inasmuch, as two +reports, each the genuine and authentic one, and each most egregiously +contradictory of the other, have been for several years before the +public, who, consequently, have a far better right to understand the +business than we do, who are at this distant date merely the remote +historian. + +We may be permitted to say, however, that the consequences of this great +discussion were such as are necessarily produced by every exhibition of +the kind. For a considerable time afterwards nothing was heard between +Catholic and Protestant but fierce polemics, and all the trite and wordy +arguments that are to be found in the mouths of ignorant and prejudiced +men on both sides. The social harmony of the district was disturbed, and +that friendly intercourse which should subsist between neighbors, was +either suspended or destroyed. A fierce spirit of exacerbation and +jealousy was created, and men looked Upon each other with bitterness and +resentment; whilst to complete the absurdity, neither party could +boast of a single convert to attest the glory of the triumph which each +claimed. + +At this period, the character of the Castle Cumber yeomanry corps, or as +they were called, M'Clutchy's Blood-hounds, was unquestionably in such +infamous odor with all but bigots, in consequence of their violence +when upon duty, that a few of the more mild and benevolent gentry of the +neighborhood, came to the determination of forming a corps composed of +men not remarkable for the extraordinary and exclusive loyalty which put +itself forth in so many offensive and oppressive forms. Deaker's Dashers +were by no means of such rancid bigotry as M'Clutchy's men, although +they were, heaven knows, much worse than they ought to have been. + +Their most unjustifiable excesses, however, Were committed in his +absence, and without his orders; for it is due to Deaker himself to +say, that, although a staunch political Protestant and infidel, he never +countenanced violence against those who differed from him in creed. +Deaker's creed was a very peculiar one, and partook of the comic +profligacy which marked his whole life. He believed, for instance, +that Protestantism was necessary, but could not for the life of him +understand the nature or tendency of religion. As he himself said, the +three great Protestant principles and objects of his life were--to drink +the "Glorious Memory "--"To hell with the Pope"--merely because he was +not a Protestant--and to "die whistling the Boyne Water." If he could +accomplish these successfully, he thought he had discharged his duty to +his king and country, and done all that could be fairly expected from an +honest and loyal Protestant. And, indeed, little, if anything else, in +a religious way, was expected from him, or from any other person, at the +period of which we write. + +Be this, however, as it may, the formation of a new corps of cavalry was +determined on, and by unanimous consent, the conduct of the matter in +all its departments was entrusted to Mr. Hartley, the gentleman already +mentioned, as selected to contest the county against Lord Cumber or his +brother, for it had not yet been decided on between them, as to which of +them should stand. Lord Cumber expected an Earldom for his virtues, with +a seat in the house of Lords, and should these honors reach him in +time, then his brother, the Hon. Richard Topertoe, should be put in +nomination. In point of fact, matters between the two parties were fast +drawing to a crisis, and it was also in some degree to balance interests +with Lord Cumber, and neutralize the influence of the Irish government, +that Hartley and his friends deemed it advisible to have a cavalry corps +at their disposal. The day of the dissolution of parliament was now +known, and it naturally became necessary that each candidate should be +found at his post. + +It was at this very period that a circumstance occurred, which, although +of apparently small importance, was nevertheless productive of an +incident that will form the catastrophe of our chronicles. Our readers +cannot forget the warm language which passed between the man Sharpe and +our exquisite friend, Philip M'Clutchy, on their way from Deaker's. Now, +it is due to this man to say, that, on looking back at the outrage +which occurred in O'Regan's cottage, and reflecting upon the melancholy +consequences it produced--not forgetting the heart-rending insanity of +O'Regan's wife--he felt deep regret, amounting almost to remorse, +for the part which he bore in it. Independently of this, however, the +conduct of Phil and his father, in their military capacity over the +corps, was made up of such tyrranical insolence at one time, and of such +contemptible meanness at another, that the men began to feel disgusted +with such sickening alternations of swaggering authority, and base, +calculating policy. Many of them, consequently, were heartily tired of +their officers, and had already begun to think of withdrawing altogether +from the corps, unless there were some change for the better made in +it. Now, at this precise state of feeling, with regard to both +circumstances, had Sharpe arrived, when he met his lieutenant on the +day when that gallant gentleman signalized himself by horsewhipping his +grandmother. Phil's threat had determined him to return to the Dashers, +but, on hearing a day or two afterwards, that Hartley was about to raise +a new corps, composed of well-conducted and orderly men, he resolved +not only to offer himself to that gentleman, but to induce all who +were moderate among the "hounds," and, indeed, they were not many, +to accompany him. This alarmed M'Clutchy very much, because on Lord +Cumber's arrival to canvass the county, it would look as if his +Lordship's interests had been neglected; and he feared, too, that the +withdrawing of the men from his corps might lead to investigations +which were strongly to be deprecated. After a day or two's inquiries, +therefore, and finding that from eighteen to twenty of his youngest +and most respectable yeomanry had not only returned him their arms and +appointments, but actually held themselves ready to be enrolled in the +Annagh Corps--for so Hartley's was termed--he sat down and wrote the +following letter to Lord Cumber:-- + +"Constitution Cottage, June-- + +"My Lord: + +"Circumstances affecting your Lordship's personal and political +interests have recently occurred here, and are even now occurring, which +render it my painful duty to communicate with you on the subject without +loss of time. I am sorry to say that the conduct of Mr. Hartley, +your well known opponent for the county, is not that which becomes a +high-minded man. The Cavalry Corps of which your Lordship is Colonel, +and which, by the way, has rendered good service in the firm discharge +of their duty, has been very much damaged by the extraordinary conduct +which that gentleman is pursuing. The fact is, that he has taken it +into his head, aided and assisted of course by his friends and political +supporters, to raise a corps of Yeomanry Cavalry as it were, in +opposition to ours; and this, no doubt, he has a right to do; although +I am quite certain, at the same time, that it is done with a view to +secure either the support, or at least the neutrality of government; +which neutrality would, as your Lordship knows, be a heavy blow to +us. However, as I said, he has as good a right as we have to raise his +corps; but I do not think he is justified in writing private circulars, +or in tampering with the men of our corps, many of whom he has already +seduced from their duty, and lured over with honeyed words and large +promises to the body he is raising. The fact is, my Lord, if our +men were not so devotedly attached to my son and myself as they are, +Hartley's unjustifiable interference would leave the corps a mere +skeleton. As it is, he has taken eighteen of our very best men from us; +by best, I allude only to youth and physical energy, for I need scarcely +say, that all the staunch and loyal fellows remain with us. I am +sorry to add that Mr. Hickman, as I predicted he would, is vigorously +supporting your opponent; and there is a scoundrel here who is often +closeted with him--a rascally painter named Easel, _quem ego_--you see +I have a little of my Latin still, my Lord. The fellow--this wild goose, +Easel, I mean--says he has come to the neighborhood to take sketches; +but if I don't mistake much I shall ere long put him in a condition to +sketch the Bay of Sidney. I have already reported him to government, +and, indeed, I have every reason to suppose he is a Popish Agent, sent +here to sow the seeds of treason and disaffection among the people. +Nothing else can account for the dreadful progress which Whiteboyism has +made upon your Lordship's property, where it is much more outrageous and +turbulent than in any other district that I am acquainted with. I have +also to acquaint you, my Lord, that even if I were disposed to keep +M'Loughlin and Harman on the property--that is, granting that I were +sufficiently treacherous to your interest to do so, it is now out of my +power. Their own dishonesty has at length fallen upon their heads. They +are bankrupts, and not now in a condition to pay a renewal fine for +their leases; but I am happy to inform your Lordship, that my son +Phil, and Mr. M'Slime, have each offered five hundred pounds for their +respective holdings--a tender which I might in vain expect from any +other quarter and which I cannot conscientiously refuse. + +"Harman was acquitted for the murder of Harpur--in consequence, it is +thought, of a treacherous scoundrel, named Sharpe, who was once one of +our corps, having taken a bribe to give evidence in his favor. This same +Sharpe is to be a sergeant in Hartley's corps; and, when I say that, +Hartley and Harman are and have been on very intimate terms, I think +it shows how the wind blows between them, at all events. I have been +receiving rent yesterday and to-day, and cannot but regret the desperate +state to which things have been brought. There is no gettin' in +money, and the only consolation I feel is, that I have honestly and +conscientiously discharged my duty. I have cleared a great number of +our enemies from the property, but, unfortunately, such is the state +of things here, that there is the greater number of the holdings still +unoccupied, other tenants that we could depend on being afraid to enter +upon them, in consequence of the spirit of intimidation that is abroad. +This M'Loughlin is certainly a most consummate swindler: he was unable +to pay his rent, and I sent in an execution yesterday; but, as every one +knows, fourteen days must elapse before the public auction of property +takes place. Judge of my surprise then, when, short as was the time, an +affidavit has been made before me, that he and his family have come to +the determination of emigrating to America, and, I suppose, by the aid +of a midnight mob to take away all that is valuable of their property +by force. I consequently must remove it at once, as the law, under such +circumstances, empowers me to do--for I cannot sit by and suffer your +lordship' to be robbed, in addition to being both misrepresented and +maligned by these men and their families. Granting the full force, +however, of this unpleasant intelligence, still I do not think it +necessary that you should at present leave the circles of polished and +fashionable life in which you move, to bury yourself here among a set +of malignant barbarians, who would scruple very little to slit your +lordship's weasand, or to shoot you from behind a hedge. + +"I am in correspondence with Counsellor Browbeater, at the Castle, who, +in addition to the glorious privilege of being, as he deserves to be, +free of the Back Trot there, is besides a creature after my own heart. +We are both engaged in attempting to bring the Spy System to that state +of perfection which we trust may place it on a level with that fine old +institution, so unjustly abused, called the Inquisition. Browbeater is, +indeed, an exceedingly useful man to the present government, and does +all that in him lies, I mean out of his own beat, to prevent them from +running into financial extravagance. For instance, it was only the other +day that he prevented a literary man with a large family from getting a +pension from the Premier, who, between you and me, my lord, is no great +shake; and this was done in a manner that entitles him to a very +lasting remembrance indeed. The principle upon which he executed this +interesting and beautiful piece of treachery--for treachery of this +kind, my lord, is in the catalogue of public virtues--was well worthy of +imitation by every man emulous of office; it was that of professing +to be a friend to the literary man, whilst he acted the spy upon his +private life, and misrepresented him to the Minister. Oh, you do not +know, my lord, how the heart of such a man as I am, warms to the author +of this manly act of private treachery and public virtue, and I cannot +help agreeing with my friend M'Slime, who, when he heard it, exclaimed +with tears of admiration in his eyes, 'it is beautiful--verily the +virtuous iniquity of it refreshes me! May that mild, meek, and most +gentlemanly Christian, Mr. Browbeater, be rewarded for it! And may the +day never come when he shall require to tread in the footsteps of the +devil!' Indeed, my lord, I cannot help crying amen to this, and adding, +that the remembrance of his virtues may descend and reflect honor on +his posterity, as, I have no doubt, they will do. How few like him could +transfuse the spirit of the Tipperary assassin into the moral principles +of the Castle, for useful purpose? I beg to inclose, your lordship, Mr. +Hartley's circular, which, I think, contains an indirect reflection on +certain existing bodies of a similar nature, and is therefore, in my +opinion, very offensive to us; I also enclose you others which he has +written to several of your tenants, who are already members of your own +corps, + +"I have the honor to be, &c, &c, +"Val M'Clutchy." + + +The following is the circular alluded to above-- + +"Sir: As a proposal to raise an additional yeomanry corps of +_respectable_ cavalry in Castle Cumber and its vicinity is about to be +submitted to the Lord Lieutenant, in order to receive his approbation, +your presence is requested at Sam Company's Castle Cumber Arms, at +twelve o'clock on Friday next, when it is proposed to name officers, +and adopt such further measures as may appear most conducive to the +embodiment of the corps with expedition and effect. + +"I am, sir, +"Your humble servant, +"Henry Hartley." + + +To his letter Val received the following reply-- + +"Belgrave Square. + +"Dear Sir: I received your letter, and perfectly agree with you as to +the offensive nature of Mr. Hartley's circular, many of which I have had +in my possession for some time past. With respect to him, I have only +to say, that he and I have agreed to arrange that matter between us, as +soon as I reach Castle Cumber. I am sorry that any of my tenants should +deserve the character which M'Loughlin and his partner have received +at your hand; I dare say, however, that if they did not deserve it they +would not get it. The arrangements for their removal, of course I leave +as I hitherto have left everything within the sphere of your duty, to +your own sense of honesty and justice. _Do not, however, take harsh +or sudden steps_. In the meantime lose not a moment in remitting the +needful. + +"Yours, &c, +"Cumber." + + +It is not at all likely that Lord Cumber would ever have noticed +Hartley's circular, or troubled himself about the formation of the +new corps in the slightest degree were it not for the malignity of +M'Clutchy, who not only hated the whole family of the Hartleys from the +same principle on which a knave hates an honest man, but in remembrance +of that gentleman's cousin having, in his office, and in his own +presence, kicked his son Phil and pulled his nose. When enclosing +the circular, therefore, to his lordship, he underlined the word +"respectable," by which it was made to appear deliberately offensive. +Whether it was used with the design of reflecting upon the licentious +violence of the blood-hounds, we pretend not to say, but we can safely +affirm that the word in the original document was never underlined +by Hartley. Lord Cumber, like his old father, was no coward, and +the consequence was, that having once conceived the belief that the +offensive term in the circular was levelled at his own corps--although +he had never even seen it--he, on the receipt of M'Clutchy's letter, +came to the determination of writing to Hartley upon the subject. + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +"Sir: I have just perused a circular written by you, calling a meeting +at the Castle Cumber Arms, with the object of forming what you are +pleased to term, a yeomanry corps of _respectable_ cavalry. Now you are +perfectly at liberty to bestow whatever epithets you wish upon your new +corps, provided these epithets contain no unfair insinuation against +existing corps. I think, therefore, that whilst others have been for +some time already formed in the neighborhood, your use of the term +respectable was, to say the least of it, unhandsome. I also perceive +that you have written to some of my tenants, who are already enrolled +in the Castle Cumber corps, and am informed that several of my men have +already given up their arms and clothing, on account of an application +from you to join your corps. I presume, sir, you did not know that these +persons belonged to the Castle Cumber troops, for, however anxious +in the cause you may be, I need not point out to you a very obvious +fact--to wit--that weakening a corps already embodied only tends to +defeat the purpose for which it was designed. I take it, therefore, for +granted, that no gentleman, however great his influence, would ask any +soldier to desert his colors, and I am sure you will tell those men that +they ought to remain in the body in which they were enrolled, and in +which enrollment their names have been returned to the war office. In +conclusion, I think that the tenant who does not reserve to himself the +power of serving the landlord under whom he derives the whole of his +property, is, in my opinion, both ungrateful and unprincipled: and +he who solicits him to resign that essential reservation is, I think, +extremely indelicate. + +"I am, &c, Cumber." + + +To this Mr. Hartley sent the following:-- + +"My Lord: I cannot at all recognize the tyrannical principle you lay +down in your definition of the relations between landlord and tenant. I +deny that a tenant necessarily owes any such slavish and serf-like duty +to his landlord as you advocate; and I am of opinion, that the landlord +who enforces, or attempts to enforce such a duty, is stretching his +privileges beyond their proper limits. I do not understand that any of +your lordship's tenantry have been solicited to join our new corps. I +have signed circular letters for my own tenantry, and if any of them +have reached yours, it has been without either my consent or knowledge. + +"I have the honor to be, +"My lord, &c, +"Henry Hartley." + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +"Sir: I beg to inquire whether you apply the word tyrannical to me? + +"I have the honor, &c, +"Cumber." + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:-- + +"My Lord: I think if you had read my last communication with due +attention, you might have perceived that I applied the term which seems +to offend you, to your principles, rather than to yourself. So long as +your lordship continues, however, to advocate such a principle, so long +shall I associate it with the epithet in question. + +"I have the honor, &c, +"Henry Hartley." + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +"Sir: Your letter merely contains a distinction without a difference. +So long as I identify my principles with myself, or myself with my +principles, so long shall I look upon any offence offered to the one as +offered to the other. The principle, therefore, which you brand with the +insulting epithet tyrannical, is one which I hold, and ever shall +hold; because I believe it to be just and not tyrannical. I await your +explanation, and trust it may be satisfactory. + +"I have the honor to be, &c, +"Cumber." + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:-- + +"My Lord: I am not anxious to have a quarrel with you, and I believe you +will admit that the courage neither of myself nor any one of my +family was never called in question. I really regret that any serious +misunderstanding should arise between us, from this mere play upon +words. I trust, therefore, to your Lordship's good sense, and good +feeling, not to press me on this occasion. + +"I have the honor, &c, +"Henry Hartley." + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +"Sir: I never doubted your courage until now. I have only to say, that I +beg an answer to my last letter. + +"I have the honor, &c, +"Cumber." + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:-- + +"My Lord: Your Lordship will find it in my last but one. + +"I have the honor, &c, &c, +"Henry Hartley." + + +Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:-- + +"Sir: I beg to say that I shall be in Castle Cumber within a fortnight +from this date, and that you shall have early and instant notice of my +arrival. + +"I remain, &c, +"Cumber." + + +Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:-- + +"And I, my Lord, shall be ready to meet you either there or anywhere +else, + +"And have the honor, &c, +"Henry Hartley." + + +In the meantime, and whilst this correspondence was going forward, +the political reeling about Castle Cumber rose rapidly between the +adherents and friends of each. M'Clutchy called a meeting of Lord +Cumber's friends and his own, which was held in the public rooms of +Castle Cumber. The following is the report taken from the columns of the +"True Blue: "-- + +"At a special meeting of the committee of the Castle Cumber cavalry, +held in that town on Monday, the 15th March, 18--, Lieutenant Philip +M'Clutchy in the chair. + +"Captain Valentine M'Clutchy having communicated to certain of the +Castle Cumber corps a circular letter, as well as committee to the +effect that Henry Hartley, Esq., having directed private letters, +influencing them to withdraw therefrom, and join a troop which he is +now about raising, and that in consequence of these steps on his part, +several of the Castle Cumber troopers had deserted, and were enrolled in +the new corps:-- + +"And Captain M'Clutchy having laid before the said Committee a copy of a +letter which he had drawn up to be sent to Henry Hartley, Esq., and +the Committee, having taken the same into their most serious +consideration:-- + +"It was unanimously resolved--That any attempt to induce the defection +of any members enrolled in such corps, even to join another corps, is +highly injurious to the Institution at large, inasmuch, as it holds +out a pernicious example of desertion, and above all, is calculated to +excite a jealous electioneering spirit, and create enmity between +the yeomanry troops, whose utility and value to the country depend on +unanimity and mutual good will. + +"Resolved--That the above resolution, together with the following letter +signed by the Chairman in the name of the meeting, be forwarded to Henry +Hartley, Esq.: + +"'Sir--Having associated for the safety and quiet of this portion of the +country, aa well as for the protection of our families and properties, +we feel ourselves particularly called upon, on an occasion like the +present, to stand forward and repel the attack made upon this loyal +corps, and, indeed, on the whole body of yeomanry throughout this +kingdom--in spiriting away, by your letters and undue influence, some +of our members, and attempting to procure others to be withdrawn from a +corps already enrolled, armed, and complete. Be assured, sir, we shall +be at all times ready, and happy to afford every assistance in +the formation of any new corps in our neighborhood, provided this +co-operation shall have no effect in diminishing our own. + +"'We, therefore, call upon you to reflect on the measures you have +taken and are taking, and not to persevere in the error of keeping such +deserters from our troop as have joined yours; as we shall in the case +of your persisting to do so, most certainly publish the whole course +of your proceedings in this matter for the satisfaction of our loyal +brethren throughout the kingdom, and leave them to decide between you +and us. + +"'Philip M'Clutchy, Chairman. +"'Valentine M'Cldtchy, Captain. +"'Richard Armstrong, Second Lieutenant. +"'Robebt M'bullet. +"'Charles Cartridge. +"'Boniface Buckram. +"'Dudley Fulton, Secretary.'" + + +To these documents, which were so artfully worded as to implicate +Hartley without openly committing themselves, that gentleman having +already had the understanding with Lord Cumber of which our readers are +already cognizant made the following brief reply. + + +"'To Richard Armstrong, Esq., second Lieutenant of the Castle Cumber +Cavalry:-- + +"Sir: I have received two resolutions passed at a meeting of your +troop in Castle Cumber, and regret to say, for the sake of the Yeomanry +service of the country, that I cannot send any communication to +those who bear the two first names on your committee. I trust I am a +gentleman, and that I shall not knowingly be found corresponding with +any but gentlemen. I have only now simply to say, that I repel with +great coolness--for indignation I feel none--the charges that have +been brought against me, both in the resolutions, and the letter which +accompanied them. Neither shall I take further notice of any letters +or resolutions you may send me, as I have no intention in future of +corresponding with any one on the subject, with the exception of Lord +Cumber himself, with whom I have had recent communications touching this +matter. + +"I am, sir, &c, "Henry Hartley." + + +Our readers are, no doubt, a good deal surprised, that Phil, knowing, +from sad experience, the courage for which all the Hartley family were +so remarkable, should have ventured to undertake the post of chairman, +on an occasion where such charges were advanced against the gentleman +in question. And, indeed, so they ought to be surprised, as upon +the following morning no man living felt that sensation so deeply or +painfully as did worthy Phil himself, who experienced the tortures of +the damned. The whole secret of the matter, therefore, is, that Phil +had lately taken to drink--to drink at all hours too--morning, noon, and +night. In vain did his father remonstrate with him upon the subject; in +vain did he entreat on one occasion and command on another. Phil, who +was full of valor under certain circumstances, told his father he did +not care a curse for him, and d--d his honor if he would allow him +to curb him in that manner. The fact is, that Phil was at the present +period of our tale, as corrupt and profligate a scoundrel as ever walked +the earth. His father had no peace with him and received little else +at his hands than contempt, abuse, and threats of being horsewhipped. +Perhaps if our readers can remember the extermination scene at Drum Dhu, +together with the appearance of Kate Clank, they will be disposed to +think that the son's conduct now, was very like judicial punishment +on the father for what his own had been. Be this as it may--on the +following morning after the meeting at Castle Cumber, Phil's repentance, +had it been in a good cause, ought to have raised him to the calendar. +In truth, it rose to actual remorse. + +"Damn my honor, M'Clutchy"--for that was now the usual respectful tone +of his address to him--"were you not a precious old villain to allow me +to take the chair yesterday, when you knew what cursed fire-eaters these +Hartleys are?" + +"That, Phil, comes of your drinking brandy so early in the day. The +moment you were moved into the chair--and, by the way, I suspect +M'Bullet had a mischievous design in it--I did everything in my power, +that man could do, to prevent you from taking' it." + +It's a d----d bounce, M'Clutchy, you did no such thing, I tell you. D--n +you altogether, I say! I would rather the devil had the whole troop, as +he will too, with Captain M'Clutchy at the head of them--" + +"Don't get into insubordination, my hero," said his father; "why do you +put me over Lord Cumber's head?" + +"Ay," replied the son, "when sending you-to Headquarters, you mean; yes, +my old knave, and when he and you and the whole kit of you get there, +you'll know then what permanent duty means. That scoundrel Hartley will +be sending a challenge to me." + +"Make your mind easy, Phil," replied his virtuous father, "there is not +the slightest danger of that; here's his reply to Armstrong, which Dick +himself handed me in Castle Cumber, a while ago. Read that and let it +console you." + +Phil accordingly read Hartley's letter, in which both he and his father +were mentioned with such marked respect; and never did reprieve come +to a shivering, inanimate, and hopeless felon with the hangman's noose +neatly settled under his left ear, with a greater sense of relief than +did this communication to him. In fact, he had reached that meanness and +utter degradation of soul which absolutely feels comfort, and is glad to +take refuge, in the very contempt of an enemy. + +"I hope you're satisfied," said his father. + +"All right, my old fellow--all right, Captain M'Clutchy, Magistrate and +Grand-juror. Damn my honor, but you're a fine old cock, Val--and now +I have spirits to take a glass of brandy, which I hadn't this whole +morning before." + +"Phil," said the father, "how do you think I can ever get you appointed +to the magistracy if you take to drink?" + +"Drink! why, blood, my old boy, is it this to me! Do you mean to tell me +that there are no drunken magistrates on the bench? Drink! why, man, let +me drink, swear, and play the devil among the ladies, surely you know +that my thorough Protestantism and loyalty will make up for, and redeem +all. Hey, then, for the glass of brandy, in which I'll drink your +health, and hang me, I'll not abuse you again--unless when you deserve +it, ha, ha, ha!" + +"At all events," said Val, "keep yourself steady for this day; this is +the day, Phil, on which I will glut my long cherished vengeance against +Brian M'Loughlin--against him and his. I shall leave them this night +without a roof over their heads, as I said I would, and, Phil, when you +are in possession of his property and farm, and he and his outcasts, he +will then understand what I meant, when I told him with a boiling heart +in Castle Cumber Fair, that his farm and mine lay snugly together." + +"But what will you do with the sick woman, I mean his wife?" asked Phil, +putting a glass of brandy to his lips, and winking at his father; "what +will you do with the sick woman, I say?" + +Val's face became so frightfully ghastly, and presented so startling a +contrast between his complexion and black bushy brows, that even Phil +himself got for a moment alarmed, and said:-- + +"My God, father, what is the matter?" + +Val literally gasped, as if seeking for breath, and then putting his +hand upon his heart, he said-- + +"Phil, I am sick here--" + +"I see you are,"' said Phil, "but what is the matter, I say again? why +are you sick?" + +"Vengeance, Phil; I am sick with vengeance! The moment is now near, and +at last I have it within my clutch;" and here he extended his hand, and +literally made a clutch at some imaginary object in the air. + +"Upon my honor," said Philip, "I envy you; you are a fine, consistent +old villain." + +"The sick woman, Phil! By the great heavens, and by all that they +contain--if they do contain anything--I swear, that if every individual +of them, men and women, were at the last gasp, and within one single +moment of death--ha! hold," said he, checking himself, "that would never +do. Death! why death would end all their sufferings." + +"Oh, not all, I hope," said Phil, winking again. + +"No matter," resumed Val, "their sufferings in this life it would end, +and so I should no longer be either eye-witness or ear-witness of their +destitution and miseries. I would see them, Phil, without house or +home--without a friend on earth--without raiment, without food--ragged, +starved--starved out of their very virtues--despised, spat upon, +and trampled on by all! To these, Phil, I thought to have added +shame--shame; but we failed--we have failed." + +"No," replied Phil, "I give you my word, we did not." + +"We did, sir," said the father; "Harman and she are now reconciled, and +this is enough for the people, who loved her. Yes, by heavens, we have +failed." Val sat, or almost dropped on a chair as he spoke, for he had +been pacing through the parlor until now; and putting his two hands +over his face, he sobbed out--groaned even with agony--until the tears +literally gushed in torrents through his fingers. "I thought to have +added shame to all I shall make them suffer," he exclaimed; "but in that +I am frustrated." He here naturally clenched his hands and gnashed his +teeth, like a man in the last stage of madness. + +On removing his hands, too, his face, now terribly distorted out of +its lineaments by the convulsive workings of this tremendous passion, +presented an appearance which one might rather suppose to have been +shaped in hell, so unnaturally savage and diabolical were all its +outlines. + +Phil, who had sat down at the same time, with his face to the back of +the chair, on which his two hands were placed, supporting his chin, kept +his beautiful eyes, seated as he was in that graceful attitude, fixed +upon his father with a good deal of surprise. Indeed it would be a +difficult thing, considering their character and situation, to find +two countenances more beautifully expressive of their respective +dispositions. If one could conceive the existence of any such thing as a +moral looking-glass placed between them, it might naturally be supposed +that Val, in looking at Phil, saw himself; and that Phil in his virtuous +father's face also saw his own. The son's face and character, however, +had considerably the advantage over his father's. Val's presented merely +what you felt you must hate, even to abhorrence; but the son's, that +which you felt to be despicable besides, and yet more detestable still. + +"Well," said Phil, "all I can say is, that upon my honor, my worthy +father, I don't think you shine at the pathetic. Damn it, be a man, and +don't snivel in that manner, just like a furious drunken woman, when +she can't get at another drunken woman who is her enemy. Surely if we +failed, it wasn't our faults; but I think I can console you so far as +to say we did not fail. It's not such an easy thing to suppress scandal, +especially if it happens to be a lie, as it is in the present case." + +"Ah," said the father with bitterness, "it was all your fault, you +ill-looking Bubber-lien. (*An ignorant, awkward booby.) At your age, +your grandfather would not have had to complain of want of success." + +"Come, M'Clutchy--I'll not bear this--it's cursed ungenerous in you, +when you know devilish well how successful I have been on the property." + +"Ay," said Val, "and what was the cause of that? Was it not merely among +those who were under our thumb--the poor and the struggling, who fell in +consequence of your threats, and therefore through fear of us only; +but when higher game and vengeful purposes were in view, see what a +miserable hand you made of it. I tell you, Phil, if I were to live +through a whole eternity, I could never forgive M'Loughlin the triumph +that his eye had over me in Castle Cumber Fair. I felt that he looked +through me--that he saw as clearly into my very heart, as you would of +a summer day into a glass beehive. My eye quailed before him--my brow +fell; but then--well--no matter; I have him now--ho, ho, I have him +now!" + +"I wonder the cars and carts are not coming before now," observed Phil, +"to take away the furniture, and other valuables." + +"I am surprised myself," replied Val; "they ought certainly to have been +here before now. Darby got clear instructions to summon them." + +"Perhaps they won't come," observed the other, "until--Gad, there's his +rascally knock, at all events. Perhaps he has sent them up." + +"No," said Val; "I gave him positive instructions to order them here in +the first instance." + +Darby now entered. + +"Well, Darby," said Val, who, on account of certain misgivings, treated +the embryo gaoler with more civility than usual; "what news? How many +cars and carts have von got?" + +Darby sat down and compressed his lips, blew out his cheeks, and after +looking about the apartment for a considerable time, let out his breath +gradually until the puff died away. + +"What's the matter with you, Darby?" again inquired Val. + +Darby went over to him, and looking seriously into his face--then +suddenly laying down his hat--said, as he almost wrung his hands-- + +"There's a Spy, sir, on the Estate; a Popish Spy, as sure as Idolathry +is rank in this benighted land." + +"A Spy!" exclaimed Phil, "we know there is." + +"Be quiet, Phil--who is he, Darby?" + +"Why, sir, a fellow--of the name of Weasand--may Satan open a gusset +in his own for him this day! Sure, one Counsellor Browbeater, at the +Castle, sir--they say he's the Lord o' the Black Trot--Lord save us-- +whatever that is--" + +"The Back Trot, Darby--go on." + +"Well, sir, the Back Trot; but does that mean that he trots backwards, +sir?" + +"Never mind, Darby, he'll trot anyway that will serve his own +purposes--go on, I tell you." + +"Well, sir, sure some one has wrote to this Counsellor Browbeater about +him, and what do you think, but Counsellor Browbeater has wrote to Mr. +Lucre, and Mr. Lucre spoke to me, so that it's all the same as if the +Castle had wrote to myself---and axed me if I knewn anything about him." + +"Well, what did you say?" + +"Why, I said I did not, and neither did I then; but may I never die in +sin, but I think I have a clue to him now." + +"Well, and how is that?" + +"Why, sir, as I was ordhering the tenantry in wid the cars and carts +to remove M'Loughlin's furniture, I seen this Weasand along wid Father +Roche, and there they were--the two o' them--goin' from house to house; +whatever they said to the people I'm sure I don't know, but, anyhow, +hell resave--hem." + +"Take care, Darby," said Val, "no swearing--I fear you're but a bad +convert." + +"Why, blood alive, sir," replied Darby, "sure turnin' Protestant, I +hope, isn't to prevent me from swearin'--don't themselves swear through +thick and thin? and, verily, some of the Parsons too, are as handy at +it, as if they had sarved an apprenticeship to it." + +"Well, but about this fellow, the Spy?" + +"Why, sir, when I ordhered the cars the people laughed at me, and said +they had betther autority for keepin' them, than you had for sendin' +for them; and when I axed them who it was, they laughed till you'd think +they'd split. I know very well it's a _Risin_ that's to be; and our +throats will be cut by this blackguard spy, Weasand." + +"And so you have got no cars," said Val. + +"I got one," he replied, "and meetin' Lanty Gorman goin' home wid Square +Deaker's ass--King James--or Sheemus a Cocka, as he calls him--that +is, 'Jemmy the Cock,' in regard of the great courage he showed at the +Boyne--I made him promise to bring him up. Lanty, sir, says the Square's +a'most gone." + +"Why, is he worse?" asked Val, very coolly. + +"Begad, sir, sure he thinks it's the twelfth o' July; and he was always +accustomed to get a keg of the Boyne Wather, whenever that day came +round, to drink the loyal toasts in; and nothing would satisfy him but +that Lanty would put the cart on Sheemus a Cocka, and bring him a keg of +it all the way from the Boyne. Lanty to plaise him, sets off wid himself +to St. Patrick's Well, where they make the Stations, and filled his keg +there; and the Square, I suppose, is this moment drinkin', if he's able +to drink, the Glorious Memory in blessed wather, may God forgive him, or +blessed punch, for it's well known that the wather of St. Patrick's Well +is able to consecrate the whiskey any day, glory be to God!" + +"Damn my honor, Darby," said Phil, "but that's queer talk from a +Protestant, if you are one." + +"Och, sure aren't we all Protestant together, now?" replied Darby; "and +sure, knowing that, where's the use of carryin' the matter too far? +Sure, blood alive, you wouldn't have me betther than yourselves? I hope +I know my station, gintlemen." + +"Ah, Darby," said Phil, "you're a neat boy, I think." + +"What's to be done?" asked Val; "their refusal to send their horses and +cars must be owing to the influence of this priest Roche." + +"Of course it is," replied the son; "I wish to God I had the hanging +of him; but why did you send to those blasted papists at all? sure the +blood-hounds were your men." + +"Why did I, Phil? ah, my good shallow Son--ha, why did I?" he spoke in +a low condensed whisper, "why, to sharpen my vengeance. It was my design +to have made one papist aid in the oppression of another. Go off, Darby, +to Castle Cumber, and let twelve or fourteen of my own corps come to +M'Loughlin's with their horses and carts immediately;--call also to +M'Slime's, and desire him to meet me there forthwith; and bid Hanlon and +the other two fellows to wait outside until they shall be wanted. The +sheriff will be at M'Loughlin's about two o'clock." + +After Darby had gone, Val paused for a while, then rose, and walked +about, apparently musing and reflecting, with something of uneasiness +and perplexity in his looks; whilst Phil unfolded the True Blue, and +began to peruse its brilliant pages with his usual nonchalance. + +"Phil," said the father, "there is one thing I regret, and it is that +I promised Solomon Harman's farm. We should, or rather you should, you +know, have secured both--for I need not tell you that two good things +are better than one, and as my friend Lucre knows--who, by the way, is +about to be made a bishop of, now that he of ------ ------ has gone +to his account. Solomon, however, having been aware of the fines they +offered, _ex officio_, as the Law Agent, I thought the safest thing +was to let them go snacks. If, however, we could so manage, before Lord +Cumber's arrival, as to get him discarded, we might contrive to secure +the other farm also. The affair of the young woman, on which I rested +with a good deal of confidence, would, I am inclined to think, on second +consideration, rather raise him in that profligate Lord's esteem than +otherwise." + +"Why, did you not hear that he was publicly expelled from the +congregation?" said Phil; "and as to the history of Susanna, that's all +over the parish these two days. Her father brought the matter before the +congregation, and so far Solomon's hypocrisy is exposed." + +"In that case, then," said Val, "something may be done yet. We must only +now endeavor to impress Lord Cumber with a strong sense of what is due +to public opinion, which would be outraged by having such a Law Agent +on his estate. Come, leave the matter to me, and we shall turn Solomon's +flank yet; I know he hates me, because I curtailed his pickings, by +adopting the system of not giving leases, unless to those on whom we +can depend. Besides, the little scoundrel has no political opinions +whatsoever, although an Orangeman." + +"Come, my old cock, no hypocrisy; what political opinions have you got?" + +"Very strong ones, Phil." + +"What are they?--you hate the papists, I suppose?" + +"Cursed stuff, Phil; the papists are as good as other people; but still +I hate them, Phil, because it's my interest to do so. A man that's not +an anti-papist now is nothing, and has no chance. No, Phil, I am not +without a political opinion, notwithstanding, and a strong one too." + +"What is it, then?" + +"Here," said he, laying his hand upon his breast, "here is my political +opinion. Valentine M'Glutchy, Phil, is my political creed, and my +religious one too." + +"After all," replied Phil, "you are a chip of the old block." + +"Yes, Phil; but I don't parade it to the world as he does--and there's +the difference." + +"Well, thank heaven," said the son, "I have no brains for any creed; but +I know I hate Popery and the Papists as I do the devil." + +"And that, Phil, is the enlightened sentiment upon which all bigotry and +mutual hatred between creeds is based. But you, Phil, could never be +so vexatious as a foe to Popery as I could--your very passions and +prejudices would occasionally obstruct you even in persecution--but I--I +can do it coolly, clearly, and upon purely philosophical principles. +I hate M'Loughlin upon personal principles--I hate the man, not his +religion; and here there must be passion: but in matters of religion, +Phil, there is nothing so powerful--so destructive--so lasting--so sharp +in persecution--and so successful, as a passionless resentment. That, +Phil, is the abiding and imperishable resentment of churches and creeds, +which has deluged the world with human blood." + +"Curse your philosophy, I don't understand it; when I hate, I hate--and +I'm sure I hate Popery, and that's enough." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX.--Solomon Suffers a Little Retribution + +--Requests Widow Lenehan to "Wrestle" for Him--Deaker's Death-Bed--Dies +Loyally Whistling the Boyne Water. + + +The conversation had proceeded thus far, when Lanty Gorman, already +spoken of, knocked at the door, and asked to see Mr. M'Clutchy. + +Val went to the hall. + +"Well, Lanty, what's the matter?--how is your master?" + +"Plaise your honor," said the lad, "I think you ought to go to him; he's +at the last gasp, sir; if you'd see the way his face is, and his eyes." + +"He is worse, then?" + +"I don't think it's so much sickness, sir, as--" + +"As what?" + +"As the liquor, your honor; he's at the Glorious Memory, sir, till he's +nearly off; he thinks it's the Boyne wather he's drinkin' it in, sir, +otherwise I don't b'lieve he'd take so much of it. _Sheemus a Cocka_ and +the cart's in the yard, sir; Darby said you wanted them." + +"Take _Sheemus a Cocka_ to h--l, sir," said Phil, "we don't want +him--he's a kind of papist; take him away to h--l out of this." + +"I can only take him to the gates, sir; unfortunately there's no +entrance there for a papish, Captain Phil; if we could only get him to +turn Protestant, sir, it's himself 'ud get the warm welcome. But," he +proceeded, addressing Val, "wouldn't it be a charity, sir, to go over +and see the state he's in; Tom Corbet, the butler, says its a burnin' +sin and shame to look at him, widout any one near him but that vagabone, +Miss Fuzzle, an' he dyin', like a dog." + +"I shall be there immediately," replied Val. "Bring the ass home again; +we do not want him. Now, Phil," he proceeded, "I shall ride over, to see +how matters are going on; and in the meantime I think it would be well +to get Hanlon, and those other two who were out with Darby for his +protection--for the fellow pretends to be afraid, and carries arms--it +would be as well, I say, to get two or three additional affidavits +against this Easel prepared by my return; for we must make our case as +firm as we can. Whether the fellow's a Popish Agent, or whether he's +not, doesn't matter a curse. I don't think he is myself; but at all +events it will be a strong proof in the eye of the government, that we +are at least vigilant, active, and useful men. I will entrust his arrest +to you, and you shall have the full credit of it at headquarters. I hope +soon to have you on the Bench. Only I do beg, that for your own sake and +mine, you will keep from the brandy. I have remitted the rents to Lord +Cumber, who will soon make them fly." + +In a few minutes afterwards he proceeded at full speed to the edifying +death-bed of his father. + +Whilst Phil is preparing the supplementary affidavits for Easel's +arrest, which he stretched out considerably by interpolations drawn from +his own imagination, we shall follow Darby to M'Slime's, observing, +_en passant_, that the aforesaid Darby, as he went, might have been +perceived to grin and chuckle, and sometimes give a short, low, abrupt +cackle, of a nature peculiarly gratifying to himself. + +"Devil a _smite_ ever either of them left on any bone thrown me," he +exclaimed. "Instead o' that they begridged me the very fees that I was +entitled to, bad luck to them! Well no matther!" and here he shrugged and +chuckled again, and so continued to do as he went along. + +As for Solomon, he felt full occasion that morning for all his +privileges and spiritual sustainment. A few days previous, he had been +brought before his brother Elders by Susanna's father, whose statement +was unfortunately too plain to admit of any doubt or misapprehension on +the subject. These respectable men--for with but another exception they +were so--discharged their duty as became them. The process of expulsion +was gone into, but rather with a spirit of sorrow for the failings of +an erring and sinful fellow-creature, than with any of the dogmatic and +fiery indignation, which, under the plea of charity for his soul, is too +often poured upon the head of a backslider. The fact now was that the +consequences of his crime were about to come home to him, in a manner +which required the exhibition of all the moral courage he possessed. It +is unnecessary to inform our readers, that he had assumed the cloak of +hypocrisy for the purpose of merely advancing his own interests among +a certain section of the religious world. No sooner, however, did the +history of his expulsion and its cause become general, than all those +religious clients, who felt themselves scandalized by his conduct, +immediately withdrew their business out of his hands, and transferred +it to those of others; and not only persons of a decidedly religious +character, but also almost every one who detested hypocrisy, and loved +to see it exposed and punished. In truth, short as the period was since +that exposure, Solomon was both surprised and mortified at the number of +clients and friends who deserted him. + +He was meditating over these things then that morning, when Widow +Lenehan, of whom, mention has already been made, a religious woman, +and notwithstanding her name, a member of the congregation to which he +belonged, entered his office, accompanied by her brother. + +"Ah, Mrs. Lenehan, how do you do? and my friend Palmer, I hope I see you +well!" + +"Pretty well, Mr. M'Slime; as well as these hard times will let us." + +"Hard times! true, my friend, hard times they are indeed; very +hard--yea, even as a crushing rock to those who are severely tried. +But affliction is good, my friends, and if it be for our soul's health, +then, indeed, it is good to be afflicted." + +To this, neither Mrs. Lenehan nor her brother made any reply; and +Solomon was left to console himself with a holy groan or two--given in +that peculiar style which hypocrisy only can accomplish, but which +is altogether out of the sphere, and beyond the capacity of true +repentance. + +"Mr. M'Slime," said Palmer, "my sister has at present"--which was +the fact--although Solomon did not believe it--"a more advantageous +opportunity of investing those eight hundred pounds which the poor +woman has scraped together, and she wishes to draw them out of the funds +without any delay; she wishes to sell out." + +"Of course," said Solomon; "and, indeed, Mrs. Lenehan, I am delighted to +hear it. How are you about to have the money invested, ma'am? Only give +me the names of the parties, with the nature of the securities, and I +shall have the whole matter safely managed with as little delay as may +be." + +"She wishes first, Mr. M'Slime, to get the money into her own +hands," said Palmer, "and, I believe, I may as well state that, as a +conscientious Christian woman, she does not feel justified in availing +herself any longer of your professional services, Mr. M'Slime." + +"Indeed," observed the widow, "I don't see how I could, Mr. M'Slime; I +trust I am a Christian woman, as he says, and for a Christian woman to +continue you, as her attorney, would be, I fear, to encourage hypocrisy +and sin; and I feel that it would not be permitted to me to do so, +unless I abuse my privileges." + +"Heigho," thought Solomon, "here am I punished, as it were, in my own +exact phraseology; verily, the measure is returning unto me." + +"Well, Mrs. Lenehan, this is part of my individual dispensation--may +it be precious to me! There is a mystery in many things, and there is a +mystery in this; a mystery which, I trust, shall yet be cleared up, even +so as that I shall indulge in much rejoicing when I look back upon it. +Mr. Palmer, you, I trust, are a Christian man, and you, Mrs. Lenehan, a +Christian woman--Now, let me ask, did you ever hear that it is possible +for an innocent man to be condemned as though he were guilty? Oh! I +could argue strongly on this--but that I know now is not the hour." + +"Well, but to business, Mr. M'Slime; my sister wants the money into her +own hands." + +"And in her own hands it shall be placed, Mr. Palmer; but this, you +are aware, cannot be done for a few days--until, at all events, I go to +Dublin." + +"When will that be?" asked Palmer. "About this day week (D.V.). Term +commences on to-morrow week, but I am generally in town a day or two +before. + +"Very well, then, on this day week we shall be in town, too, and will +call at your office about ten o'clock. + +"The exact hour, my dear friend--and pray be punctual--and my friend +Palmer--my dear friend, will you confer a great, an important favor on +me? and you, Mrs. Lenehan, for you can?" + +"What is it?" said Palmer. "When at family worship think of me. If I am +what the world begins to say I am, oh! do not I require, and stand in +need of your prayers, and most earnest supplications--yea, Mrs. Lenehan, +even that you should wrestle for me--that I may be restored to the +fold:--and if I am innocent--if--if--oh! why do I say if?" said he, +turning up his eyes, and clasping his hands, whilst the tears of +hypocrisy actually trickled down his cheeks, "but it is known--that +precious word innocence is known? Peace be with you both!" + +Darby, on his arrival, found him engaged in writing at his desk, and on +casting his eye slightly at the paper he perceived that he was drawing +out a bill of costs. + +"Darby, my friend," said Solomon, after the first salutations were over, +"when will you enter upon the duties of your new office." + +"Plaise God, as soon as Mr. M'Darby leaves it--which will be in a few +days, I hope; and how are you, Mr. M'Slime?" + +"Tried in the furnace of affliction, nine times heated, Darby." + +"It's a sad thing to be accused unjustly, Mr. M'Slime," said Darby +looking him shrewdly in the face with one eye shut; "but then it's well +that this--this--visitation has come upon a man that has thrue religion +to support him, as you have, under it." + +"Darby, my friend, there are none of us perfect--we all have our +frailties--our precious little--ay! yes;--you know, Darby, the just man +falleth seven times a day." + +Darby started, and despite of all the influence of his new creed +exclaimed--"Blessed Saints, seven times! Arra when was this, Mr. +M'Slime? Troth, I think, it must be in the owld pagan times long ago, +when the people were different from what they are now." + +"You see, Darby, that just men, that is the Elect, have their +privileges." + +"Troth, if to fall seven times a day is the privilege of a just man, I'd +never be anything else all my life," replied Darby; "and myself wondhers +that there's e'er an unjust man alive." + +"Darby, I fear that Mr. Lucre has not improved your perceptions of +spiritual things." + +"Why, as to that, Mr. M'Slime, if you knew Mr. Lucre's piety as well +as I do--however, as you say yourself, sir, it's known, or rather it's +unknown, the piety of that gintleman." + +"Well, Darby, between you and me, I am just as well satisfied that +you did not attach yourself, as I expected you would have done, to our +congregation; for, to acknowledge a truth, Darby, which I do in all +charity, I tell you, my friend, that they are awfully Pharisaical, and +wretchedly deficient in a proper sense of Christian justice; I, Darby, +am a proof of it. I mentioned to another person before, Darby, that the +Christian devotion of an act I did, would occasion considerable risk +to my own reputation, and you see it has done so. I shall bear all the +blame, Darby--all shame, Darby--all opprobium, Darby, sooner than +that precious vessel--hitherto precious, I should have said--and yet, +perhaps, precious still--" + +"He is a just man, may be," said Darby. "He is, I would trust--sooner, I +say, than that precious vessel should be broken up as unprofitable." + +"I suppose he is one of those vessels, sir," said Darby, "that don't +wish to hould any wather, unless when it's mix--" + +"He is, or rather was, a brother Elder, Darby; but then, it mattereth +not; I have covered his trangressions with my charity. I permit you to +say as much among your friends in the religious world, whenever you hear +the name of Solomon M'Slime mentioned. It is also due to myself to say +as much." + +"I'm afther comin' from Mr. M'Clutchy's, sir," said Darby, "and he +desired me to say that he hopes you'll attend at Mr. M'Loughlin's about +two o'clock, and not to fail, as its to be a busy day wid him. The +sheriffs to be there to put them out." + +"I shall not fail, Darby," replied the attorney; "but who comes here, +riding at a rapid pace, like a messenger who bringeth good tidings?" + +Darby looked out, and at once recognized one of Deaker's grooms, riding +at a smart gallop towards Solomon's house. + +The latter raised the window as the man approached-- + +"Well, my friend, what is the matter?" + +"Sir, Mr. Deaker wishes to see you above all things; he is just dying, +and swears he cannot depart till you come." + +"I shall order the car immediately," replied Solomon. "Say I shall not +lose a moment." + +The man wheeled round his horse, and galloped off at even a greater +speed than before. + +"Darby, my friend," said he, "I shall attend at M'Loughlin's without +fail. Justice must be rendered, Darby; justice must be rendered to that +wretched man and his family." + +Darby looked him in the face with a peculiar expression-- + +"Yes, sir," said he; "plaise God, justice shall be rendhered as you +say--no doubt of that." + +He then left the house, and ere he had proceeded a score yards, turned +and said-- + +"Yes, you netarnal villain--you know the justice you and M'Clutchy +rendhered me--bad luck to you both, I pray, this day! Any how it'll soon +come back to yez." + +In a few minutes Solomon was on his way, with an anxious expectation +that he had been called upon to draw up Deaker's will. + +Val, on reaching his father's, heard from Tom Corbet, with a good +deal of surprise, that Solomon had been sent for expressly. A glance, +however, at the invalid induced him to suppose that such a message could +proceed from nothing but the wild capricious impulses under which he +labored. Much to his surprise also, and indeed to his mortification, +he found before him two gentlemen, whom Deaker, who it appears had been +conscious of his approaching dissolution, had sent for, with his +usual shrewdness, to guard and preserve his loose property from his +unfortunate housekeeper on the one hand, and his virtuous son Val, on +the other. These gentlemen were his cousins, and indeed we are inclined +to think that their presence at that precise period was, considering all +things, rather seasonable than otherwise. They had not, however, arrived +many minutes before Val, so that when he came, they were still in one of +the parlors, waiting for Deaker's permission to see him. A little +delay occurred; but the moment Val entered, with his usual privilege he +proceeded straight to the sick room, whilst at the same moment a message +came up to say that the other gentlemen "might come up and be d--d." The +consequence was, that the three entered the room nearly together. Great +was their surprise, however--at least of two of them their disgust, +their abhorrence, on seeing, as they approached his bed-room, a +female--Young certainly, and handsome--wrapped in a night-dress--her +naked feet slippered, her nice flushed and her gait tottering, escaping, +as it were, out of it. + +On passing them, which it was necessary she should do, she did not +seem ashamed, but turned her eyes on them with an expression of maudlin +resentment, that distorted her handsome but besotted features into +something that was calculated to shock those who looked upon her. There +she passed, a licentious homily upon an ill-spent life--upon a life +of open, steady, and undeviating profligacy; there she passed the +meretricious angel of his death-bed, actually chased by the presence of +men from the delirious depravity of his dying pollutions! + +"There is no necessity, gentlemen," said Val, "for my making an apology +for this shocking sight--you all know the life, in this respect, that my +unfortunate father led." + + * This, like most other scenes in the present work, is no + fiction. + +"In any case it is unprecedented," replied one of them; "but if he be so +near death, as we apprehend, it is utterly unaccountable--it is awful." +They then entered. + +Deaker was lying a little raised, with an Orange silk night-cap on his +head, embellished with a figure of King William on horseback. Three or +four Orange pocket-handkerchiefs, each, owing to the excellent taste of +the designer, with a similar decoration of his Majesty in the centre, +lay about the bed, and upon a little table that stood near his head. +There was no apothecary's bottles visible, for it is well known that +whatever may have been the cause of Deaker's death he died not of +any malady known in the Pharmacopeia. In truth, he died simply of an +over-wrought effort at reviving his departed energies, joined to a most +loyal, but indomitable habit of drinking the Glorious Memory in brandy. + +"Well, Vulture," said he on seeing Val, "do you smell the death-damp +yet, that you're here? Is the putrefaction of my filthy old carcase on +the wind yet? Here Lanty, you imp," he said turning his eyes on the ripe +youth as he brought in a large jug of the "Boyne"--in other words of +St. Patrick's Well water--"I say you--you clip, do you smell the +putrefaction of my filthy old carcase yet? eh?" + +"Begad, sir, it's no the pleasantest smell in the world at the present +time; and there's a pair of big, black, thievish look in' ould Ravens, +sittin' for the last two or three days upon the black beech, as if they +had a suspicion of something. Tom Corbet and I have fired above a dozen +shots at them, and blazes to the feather we can take out o' them. So +far from that, they sit there laughin' at us. Be me sowl, it's truth, +gentlemen." + +"Begone, sirra," said Val, "how dare you use such language as this to +your master; Leave the room." + +Lanty rubbed his hair with his middle finger and went reluctantly out. + +"Ah," said Deaker, "I'm glad to see you bore, Dick Bredin--and you +Jack--stay here till I'm in the dirt, and you'll find I have not +forgotten either of you.--As for the Vulture there, he is very well able +to take care of himself--he is--oh, a d----d rogue!" + +Deaker's face, was such a one as, perhaps, was never witnessed on a +similar occasion, if there ever were a similar occasion. It presented +the cadaverous aspect of the grave, lit up into the repulsive and +unnatural animation that resulted from intoxication, and the feeble +expiring leer of a worse passion. There was a dead but turbid glare in +his eye; half of ice, and half of fire, as it were, which when taken in +connection with his past life, was perfectly dreadful and appalling. If +it was not the ruling passion strong in death, it was the ruling passion +struggling for a divided empire with that political Protestantism which +regulated his life, but failed to control his morals. + +"Here," said he, "mix me some brandy and water, or--stop, ring the bell, +Dick Bredin." + +Bredin rang the bell accordingly, and in a minute or so Lanty came in. + +"Here, you imp, do your duty." + +"Haven't you enough, sir? more, I think, will do you harm." + +"Go to h--l, you young imp of perdition, do your duty, I say." + +Lanty here mixed him some brandy and water, and then held it to his +lips. + +"Here," said he, "here is the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory! hip, +(hiccup) oh--ay--hip, hip, hurrah! Now, Lanty, you clip, that's one part +of my duty done." + +"It is, sir," replied Lanty; "you always did your duty, Square." + +"Ay, but there's more to come--lay me back now, Lanty; lay me back till +I whistle the Boyne Water." + +Lanty accordingly laid him back a little, and he immediately commenced +an attempt to whistle that celebrated air by way of consolation on his +death-bed. + +"He's not always settled, gentlemen," said Lanty, "and I see that one of +his wandering fits is comin' on him now." + +"What is the reason," said Captain Bredin--for such was the rank of +the person he called Dick--"why is it that there is not a physician in +attendance?" + +"He would not let one of the thieves near him," replied Lanty, "for +fraid they'd kill him." + +"That is true," observed Val; "he always entertained a strong antipathy +against them, and would consult none." + +"Did Solomon M'Slime come?" he inquired. + +"Here's a foot on the stairs," said Lanty, "maybe it's he--" and Lanty +was right, for he had scarcely spoken when the worthy attorney entered. + +"Solomon, you sleek, hypocritical rascal," said he, "I do not forget +you; read that paper; you will find at the bottom of it these words, +on one side, 'sworn before me, this'--no matter about the day--signed +'Randal Deaker;' and on the other, 'Susanna Bamet.' Solomon, I could not +die happily without this hit at you. Your hypocrisy is known,--ha, +ha, ha! Come, d--n me; I never lived a hypocrite, and I won't die one. +Lanty, you imp, the brandy." + +"I'll only give him a little," said the lad, looking and nodding at +them. + +"Come, then, 'the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory!'--hip--ah, lay +me down--hi-p-p-p!" + +He now closed his eyes for some time, and it was observed that strange +and fearful changes came over his face. Sometimes he laughed, +and sometimes he groaned, and, indeed, no words could express the +indescribable horror which fell upon those present, or, at least, upon +most of them, as the stillness of the room was from time to time broken +by the word--"damnation" pronounced in the low and hollow voice of +approaching death. + +Solomon, who had glanced at the affiliating affidavit made by Susanna, +was the first to break the silence. + +"In truth, my friends," said he, "I fear it is not good to be here; +and were it not that I am anxious to witness what is rarely seen, a +reprobate and blasphemous death-bed, I would depart even now." + +After some time Deaker called out--"Help me up, Lanty; here, help me up, +you whelp." + +Lanty immediately did so, and aided him to sit nearly upright in the +bed. + +"The tumbler, Lanty--Lanty, my lad, 'let us eat, drink, and be mer--ry, +for to-mor--row we die;' here's the glor--, pio--, and immor--I, +memo--, hi-p, hi-p-p! And now I swore th--at I wo--uld die whistling it, +and by that oath I will." He then looked around, and seemed to recover +himself a little. "Ay," he continued, "I'll do it, if I don't I'll be +d----d! lay me down, you imp of hell; there, that will do." + +He then gathered his mouth and lips, as those do who whistle, and at the +moment a long rattle of death was heard in his throat, then a shrill, +feeble sound, like that of the wind through reeds, melancholy and +wailing; issued from his white and gathered lips, and then was a +silence. + +For some minutes it was not broken, at length M'Clutchy went over, and +on looking into his face, and feeling his pulse and heart he announced +the fact of his death. + +"Well," said Lanty, "he kept his word, at all events; he swore many a +fearful oath, that he would die whistling the Boyne Wather, and he did: +but, be my soul, he didn't die drinldn' it, as he thought. I must go and +let them know in the house that he's gone. + +"And bring my car to the door," said Solomon, "as quickly as you can. +Well," he proceeded, "the man is now gone, and, indeed, my friends, I +fear that Satan is not at this moment without a companion, if he is on +his way to his own dominions." + +Deaker's features at that moment presented the most extraordinary +appearance. As he lay, there appeared evident upon them the somewhat +comic set, which was occasioned by his attempt to whistle the Boyne +Water. He had but one tooth in front, which now projected a little; and +as he always whistled with his mouth twisted somewhat to the one side it +would be difficult to witness such a striking sight. But, when to this +we add the recollection of his life and habits, and mention the fact +that the very act of whistling the Boyne Water brought forward in his +face all the gross characteristics of his licentious passions, we may +fairly admit that the face and features very faithfully represented the +life and principles of the man who owned them. + +Lanty, who had gone to acquaint the servants with his death, and to get +round Solomon's car, now came in with a pale face:-- + +"Gentlemen," said he, "as sure as life's in me, the two black thievish +ravens that sot on the black beech-tree these two days past, is off; +hell resave the feather o' them's there--it's truth!--The moment the +breath was out of his body they made back to where they came from; they +got what they wanted, you see and it stands to reason, or what 'ud keep +them watchin' there these three days. As for myself, be me sowl the +first thing I'll do will be to make a severe station to St. Patrick's +Well to get the grain o' the sin off o' me that has been committed in +this house." + +Val, for years, knew his father's disposition too well to form any +expectations whatsoever from him, and, indeed, it is but just to say +that old Deaker took care not to allow him an opportunity of falling +into a single misconception on the subject. As a natural consequence, +Val hated him, and would have come long before to an open rupture with +him, were it not that he feared to make him his enemy. He also thought +it possible that Deaker, out of respect for his villany, might in some +capricious moment have thought of rewarding it; and so probably he might +have done, were it not for two traits in his character which his worthy +father especially detested--viz., cowardice and hypocrisy. + +Val, on his return home, found fewer carts than he had calculated upon +even among his blood-hounds. Orangemen, in the social and civil duties +of life, are sterling and excellent men in general. It is only when +brought together for the discharge of political duties, by such +miscreants as M'Clutchy, or when met in their Lodges under the united +influence of liquor and mad prejudices; or when banded together in fairs +and markets under the same stimulants, and probably provoked and dared +by masses of less open and more treacherous opponents; it is only then +we say that their most licentious outrages were committed. Meet the +Orangeman, however, in his field, or in his house and he will aid and +assist you in your struggles or difficulties, as far as he can; no +matter how widely you may differ from him in creed. + +The fact was that on understanding the nature of the duty Val expected +from them--and which the reader may perceive was not an official one, +most of them absolutely refused to come. M'Loughlin, they said, had +given extensive employment, and circulated large sums of money annually +in the neighborhood, and they did not see why an Absentee landlord, or +his Agent, should wish to throw so many hands out of employment, and to +ruin so many families. They wern't on duty now, which was a different +thing; but they had their own opinions on the subject--they knew Captain +Phil's conduct--and d--n them, if M'Loughlin was a Papish twenty times +over, if they'd lend a hand in any sense to carry away his furniture. +It was all well enough when they were drunk or on duty, but they weren't +drunk or on duty now. + +Three or four cars and carts were all that Val found at home on his +arrival there--a circumstance which, added to his recent disappointment +touching Deaker--from whom he had, in fact, to the last, cherished +secret expectations--inflamed his resentment against M'Loughlin almost +beyond all conception. + +On leaving Constitution Cottage for M'Loughlin's, he was not a little +surprised to see worthy Phil walking, backward, and forward on the lawn, +accompanied by no less a personage than our friend _Raymond-na-hattha_. + +"Ah," said he to Phil, looking at him and Raymond, "there's a pair of +you." + +"Never mind, old fellow," said Phil with a grin, "you don't know what's +ahead--a pretty bit of goods; begad, father, Raymond's a jewel:--ah, you +don't know her, but I do--hip, hip, old cook." + +"Phil," said Val, "you have been at the brandy; I see it in your eye, +and I hear it in your speech." + +"Well," said Phil, "I have, and what then--that's the chat; who's +afraid, M'Clutchy?" + +"Phil, Phil," said the father, "this won't do." + +"I say it will do, and it must do," returned the son--"but harkee, old +cock, is Deaker, the precious, d----d yet?" + +"If ever man was," replied his father--"and not a penny to either of +us, Phil; not as much as would jingle on his own lying tombstone, and a +lying one it will be no doubt. Did you get the affidavits prepared?" + +"I did, but curse the rascals, I was obliged to make them drunk before +they would consent to swear them. The truth is, I put in a lot of stuff +out of my own head," said Phil, "and they refused to swear to it until I +made them blind." + +"You must have made devilish stretches when they refused," said the +father, "where are they now?" + +"Locked up in the stable loft, fast asleep," replied Phil, "and ready to +swear." + +"It is well," said Val, "that we have affidavits and information enough +for his arrest, independent of theirs. Go in, Phil, and keep yourself +steady--Easel must be my own concern, I see that; he shall be arrested +this day; I have everything prepared for it." + +"Very well," said Phil; "with all my heart--I have better game in view," +and he knowingly rubbed his finger along his nose as he spoke. + +"If you were sober," said Val, "I could have wished you to witness the +full glut of my vengeance upon M'Loughlin, inasmuch, my excellent son, +as it was on your account I received the insult, the injury--why, by +h----n, he trampled upon me!--that shall never be forgiven, but which +will this day, Phil, meet the vengeance that has been hoarded up +here--" and, as he spoke, he placed his hand upon his heart. "The +sheriff," he added, "and his officers are there by this time--for I do +assure you, Phil, I will make short work of it. As for those ungrateful +scoundrels that refused to send their cars and carts, I know how to deal +with them; and yet, the rascals, as matters now stand between Hartley +and us, I can't afford to turn them out of the corps." + +"Go ahead, I say," replied Phil; "I have better game on hands than your +confounded corps, or your confounded popish M'Loughlins." + +Raymond, who walked, _pari passu_, along with him, looked at him from +time to time and, as he did, it might be observed that his eyes flashed +actual fire--sometimes with an appearance of terrible indignation, and +sometimes with that of exultation and delight. + +Val now proceeded to execute his great mission of vengeance. As he went +along--his heart literally beat with a sense of Satanic triumph and +delight; his spirit became exhilarated, and all his faculties moved in a +wild tumult of delirious enjoyment. He was at best but a slow horseman, +but on this occasion he dashed onward with an unconscious speed that +was quite unusual to him. At length he reached M'Loughlin's, whither the +carts had been sent, immediately on his return from Deaker's. All there +seemed very quiet and orderly; the usual appearance of business and +bustle was not of course visible, for, thanks to his own malignant +ingenuity and implacable resentment, there were many families in the +neighborhood not only thrown out of employment, but in a state of actual +destitution. Having knocked at the hall door, it was instantly opened +by one of his own retainers, and without either preface or apology he +entered the parlor. There was none there but M'Loughlin himself, Gordon +Harvey, the excellent fellow of whom we have already spoken, and whom +M'Loughlin, in consequence of his manly and humane character, had +treated with kindness and respect--and Solomon M'Slime who had arrived +only a few minutes before him. + +"Gentlemen," said M'Loughlin, "what have I done, that I am to thank +you both for your kindness in honoring a ruined man with this unusual +visit." + +Val gave him a long, fixed and triumphant look,--such a look as a +savage gives his worst enemy, when he gets him beneath his knee, and +brandishes his war-knife, before plunging it in his throat. + +"Indeed, my good neighbor," replied Solomon, seeing that Val did not +speak, "I believe it is a matter of conscience on the part of my friend +M'Clutchy here, who is about to exhibit towards you and your family +a just specimen of Christian retribution. In my view of the matter, +however, he is merely the instrument; for I am one, Mr. M'Loughlin, who +believe, that in whatever we do here, we are only working out purposes +that are shaped above." + +"What! when we rob the poor, oppress the distressed, strive to blacken +the character of an innocent girl, or blast the credit of an industrious +man, and bring him and his to ruin? Do you mean to say, that the +scoundrel"--he looked at Val as he uttered the last word--"the scoundrel +who does this, and ten times more than this, is working out the purposes +of God? If you do, Sir" he continued, "carry your blasphemy elsewhere, +for I tell you that you shall not utter it under this roof." + +"This roof," said Val, "in two hours hence shall be no longer yours." + +"I thought you pledged yourself solemnly that you would not take any +hasty steps, in consequence of my embarrassments," said M'Loughlin; "but +you see that I understand your character thoroughly. You are still the +same treacherous and cowardly scoundrel that you ever were, and that +you ever will be." + +"This roof," replied Val, "in an hour or two shall be no longer yours. +You and yours shall be this night roofless, homeless, houseless. This, +Brian M'Loughlin, is the day of my vengeance and of my triumph. Out you +go, sir, without consideration, without pity, without mercy--aye, mercy, +for now you are at my mercy, and shall not find it." + +"But my wife is ill of fever," said M'Loughlin, "and surely you are at +all events an Irishman, and will not drag her from her sick bed--perhaps +her bed of death?" + +"That act of kindness to her would be kindness to you and your family, +Mr. M'Loughlin, and for that reason she shall go out, if she were +to expire on the moment. No; this is the day of my vengeance and my +triumph. Harvey," he added, "tell Jack Stuart to come to me." + +Harvey went out, and in a minute or two Stuart came in; a heavy-faced, +sullen-looking villain, who strongly resembled Val himself in character, +for he was equally cowardly and ferocious. Val met him in the hall-- + +"Stuart," said he, "I have sent up three or four fellows--the two Boyds +and the two Carsons--to arrest a fellow named Easel--a Spy or something +of that kind--with orders to lodge him in goal; go up and tell them to +bring him here first. I have my reasons for it; he has taken an interest +in this M'Loughlin, and I wish him to witness his punishment." + +"Hadn't you betther put the rascal in the stocks, or give an ordher for +it, till it's your honor's convenience to see him?" + +"No, no, desire them to bring him here immediately--go now, and do not +lose a moment." + +On entering the parlor again, he rubbed his hands with perfect delight. + +"Ay," said he, "this day, M'Loughlin, I have long looked for; this day, +this day, ha, ha, ha!" + +"M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "I always knew you were a bad and +black-hearted man; but that you were such a perfect devil I never knew +till now. What, to drag out my sick wife!" + +"Ha! ha! ha!" + +"Consider that her removal now will occasion her death." + +"Ha! ha! ha!" + +"You will not do it; you could not do it. Would you kill her?" + +"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! M'Loughlin, this is the day of my vengeance, and my +triumph. Ha, ha, ha!" + +"Friend M'Clutchy," said Solomon, "permit me for one moment to +remonstrate--" + +"Permit the devil, sir," said Val, stamping on the floor with fury; +"remonstrate! Don't you know that I have this fellow safely in my +power?" + +"I do," replied Solomon, "and my remonstrance would have been, had +you heard me, simply and humbly to suggest that you might do the +thing---this vengeance that you speak of--in an edifying manner--or, in +other words, in a mild and Christian spirit." + +"Solomon, you are after all but a poor devil," said Val; "a poor pitiful +scoundrel, that can't understand what full, deep-seated, and lasting +vengeance means. You are only fit to sneak, and peep, and skulk about +after a sly, prim, sweet-faced--but I am losing my breath to speak to +you. Gordon, is the inventory taken?" + +"It is, sir; Montgomery has it." + +"That's well, here are the carts then--ay, and here comes the sheriff. +Now for business." + +"So, then, you will proceed, Mr. M'Clutchy?" said M'Loughlin. + +"Proceed," he replied, looking at him, as it were, with amazement; +"proceed--ha, ha, ha!" + +"Truly that is unchristian mirth," observed Solomon; "I must say as +much--even although your cause be a just cause, and one supported by +the laws--by our blessed laws, that protect the rights of the tenant +and landlord with equal justice and impartiality; for it is a glorious +privilege to live under a constitution that protects the tenant from +the malignity and oppression of the landlord or his agents. It is that," +said Solomon; "oh, it is that precious thing, indeed." + +As he spoke the words there was a slight upraising of the eyes, together +with a side glance at M'Clutchy, which, though barely-perceptible, +contained as much sanctified venom as could well be expressed. He had +scarcely concluded, when the sheriff, having pulled up his gig, entered. + +Val, notwithstanding his excessive thirst for vengeance, could not +avoid feeling the deepest possible mortification since his arrival +at M'Loughlin's. There was observable in this honest fellow's bearing +something that vexed his oppressor sorely, and which consisted in a kind +of easy, imperturbable serenity, that no threat could disturb or ruffle. +Nay, there appeared a kind of lurking good-humored defiance in his eye, +which, joined to the irony of his manner, aggravated the resentment of +M'Clutchy to the highest pitch. + +"This is an unpleasant visit, Mr. Graham," said M'Loughlin, when that +official entered; "but it can't be helped." + +"It is unpleasant to both of us, I assure you," replied the sheriff; "on +my part, of course, you know it is an act of duty, and, indeed, a very +painful one, Mr. M'Loughlin." + +"I have experienced your civility, sir, before now," returned +M'Loughlin, "thanks to my friends," and he eyed M'Clutchy; "and I know +you to be incapable of an un-gentlemanly act. But you must feel it +a distressing thing to be made, in the discharge of that duty, the +unwilling instrument of oppression on the unfortunate." + +"It is quite true," said the sheriff, "and the case you speak of too +frequently happens, as I have reason to know." + +"Pray, what are those carts for, Mr. M'Clutchy?" asked M'Loughlin. + +"To remove your furniture, sir, and all your other movable property off +the premises. I act in this matter by the authority of the law, and Lord +Cumber's instructions." + +"Dear me," said M'Loughlin, coolly, "why, you are very harsh, Mr. +M'Clutchy; you might show a little forbearance, my good neighbor. Upon +what authority, though, do you remove the furniture? because I did +believe that the tenant was usually allowed fourteen days to pay up, +before the process of an auction, and even that, you know, must take +place on the premises, and not of them." + +"There has been an affidavit made, that you intend to remove suddenly, +that is, to make what is called a moonlight flitting, Mr. M'Loughlin, +and upon that affidavit I proceed. As I said, I have the law with me, my +good neighbor." + +"Pray where did you pick up the honest man who was able to swear to my +intentions? he surely must be a clever fellow that can make affidavit as +to another man's thoughts--eh, Mr. M'Clutchy?" + +Val's glances at the man, from time to time, were baleful; but, with +his usual tact and plausibility, he restrained his temper before the +sheriff, lest that gentleman might imagine that he had acted from any +other principle than a sense of duty. + +Harvey, who heard M'Clutchy's determination with deep regret, now +happening to look out of the window, observed a group of persons +approaching--one of the said group hard and fast in the grip of two of +Val's constables; whilst, at the same time, it was quite evident, that +despite the ignominy of the arrest, mirth was the predominant feeling +among them, excepting only the constables. On approaching the house, +they were soon known, and Val, to his manifest delight, recognized Mr. +Easel as a prisoner, accompanied by Messrs. Hickman and Hartley, both of +whom seemed to enjoy Easel's position between the two constables, as a +very excellent subject for mirth. + +"Mr. M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "whether is it you or I that is about +to hold a little levee in my humble parlor to-day? But I suppose I need +not ask. Consider yourself at home here, my good neighbor--you are now +up, and I am down; so we must only allow you to have your way." + +Just then the parlor door once more opened, and the party already +alluded to entered. Very distant and very polite were the salutations +that passed from M'Clutchy to the party in question, which the party in +question received, on the other hand, with a degree of good humor and +cordiality that surprised and astounded our agent, Val, to tell the +truth, felt rather queer; for, on comparing M'Loughlin's nonchalance +with the significant good humor of the new comers, he was too shrewd not +to feel that there was a bit of mystery somewhere, but in what quarter +he could not possibly guess." + +"Gentlemen," said he, falling back upon his humanity, "the duties of an +Agent are often painful, but still they must be discharged. Lord +Cumber, I must confess, has not been well advised, to force me to +these proceedings. Mr. M'Loughlin, I acknowledge I lost temper a while +ago--but the fact really is, that I proceed in this matter with great +reluctance, notwithstanding what I said. Here, however," he added, +turning to Easel, "is a horse of a different color." + +On speaking, he put his hand into his pocket, and pulling out the _Hue +and Cry_ of a certain date, read a description, and, as he advanced, he +turned his eyes with singular sagacity and satisfaction upon the person +and features of poor Easel. + +"Browbeater was right," said he; "you are here at full length in +the _Hue and Cry_--middle size--of rather plausible carriage--brown +hair--hazel eyes--and a very knowing look--the upper lip a good deal +curled; which I see is the case; known to be in the possession of more +money that ought to belong to a person in your condition--and lastly, +before you came here you were hawking high treason in the King's County, +in the character of a ballad-singer and vagabond. You have expended +sums of money among the poor of this neighborhood, with no good intention +towards the government; and the consequence is that Whiteboyism has +increased rapidly since you came amongst us." + +"But on what authority do you arrest me now?" + +"I might arrest you at any time on suspicion; but here are affidavits, +in which it is sworn that you are believed to be a popish spy and +treasonable agent; and besides I have instructions from the Castle to +take you." + +"But what am I to do?" asked Easel,--"I am a stranger, and known here by +nobody, This, certainly, is not a very Irish reception, I must say, nor +is it very creditable to the hospitality of the country. You were civil +enough to me when you expected me to become an Orangeman." + +"Ah," replied Val, "that's a proof of your ability; you overreached me +then, which is what few could have done. No--none but a master-hand like +you could do it. Mr. M'Loughlin," he proceeded, "would you allow me a +separate room for a few minutes? I am anxious to put some questions to +this mischievous vagabond, privately." + +"With all my heart," replied the other; "go into the dining-room." + +"Now, you scoundrel," said Val, "that you may labor under no mistake, +I think it fair to tell you that Browbeater and I know everything about +you, and all the Protean shapes you have gone through for the last three +years, in different parts of the kingdom Now listen to me, you d----d +impostor; listen to me, I say--you have it in your power to become a +useful man to the present government. They have revived the Spy system, +and there is no doubt, from your acquaintance with the designs and +proceedings of Whiteboyism, and of Popery in general, that you can +afford very important information on the subject; if you can, your bread +is baked for life. You know not the large, the incredible large staff of +Spies that we have at work, and believe me, when I tell you that if you +make the proper disclosures to me I shall recommend you in the strongest +terms to Browbeater, who will have you placed high upon the list of +informers--a respectable class of men, let me tell you, and extremely +useful--so that you will be well and liberally paid for your treachery, +I mean that treachery which has _amor patriae_ to justify it. We +will not attempt to control your genius in any way; you can take to +ballad-singing again, if you like, or any other patriotic line of +serving the government which you choose. Having premised me this much, +allow me now to ask you your real name." + +"For the present I must decline answering that question." + +"Very proper--I see you know your business: and it is not my wish that +you should say anything to criminate yourself--certainly not. But in the +meantime, that you may see I am not at all in the dark, I tell you that +your name is Larry O'Trap, a decent journeyman carpenter by trade, but +as much a painter as I am a parson." + +"I won't submit to a private examination," replied Easel; "examine me +publicly--that is, before the gentlemen in the next room, and I will +answer you to better purpose, perhaps; but I hate this hole and corner +work." + +"You will give no information, then?" + +"I don't exactly say that--it is probable I may." + +"Think of it, then," said Val, "and let me tell you, there is little +time to be lost. I shall speak to you once again before I commit +you--that is, after I shall have punished this villain M'Loughlin, +whom I hate as I hate hell; and mark me, you scoundrel, and reflect on +this,--I am a man who never yet forgave an injury; therefore don't make +me your enemy. This M'Loughlin insulted me some years ago in Castle +Cumber, and it is that insult that I am this day revenging upon his +head--so think of my words." + +"I shall think of them; I shall never forget them." + +"Keep this fellow in close custody," said Val to the constables, as +they re-entered the parlor--"until the business of the day is over. Mr. +Sheriff, it is time now that you should do your duty." + +"I countermand that order," said Easel. "You see, Mr. M'Clutchy," said +the sheriff, smiling, "that here is a countermand." + +"Here is your rent in full, Mr. M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "and lest +notes might not prove satisfactory, as they never do to you, there it is +in gold. You will find it right." + +"Well, really I am glad of this," said Val, "it would have been painful +to me to have gone to extremities. Still there is the Ejectment to take +place, as the leases have expired: but that, my good neighbor, will +be merely a form. Of course you will be permitted to go in again as +caretakers; but in the meantime we must get the furniture out, and +receive possession in the proper way. I was angry, Mr. M'Loughlin, a +while ago, as I said and spoke hastily--for indeed I am rather warm when +promoting Lord Cumber's interests; God forgive him in the meantime, for +the disagreeable duties he too frequently put to me--duties for which I +am certain to incur the censure." + +"I countermand the order," repeated Easel, with a singular smile on his +face; "and desire you, Mr. M'Loughlin, to withhold your rent." + +"You!" exclaimed Val, looking at him. "Yes!" he replied, walking over, +and looking him sternly in the face. + +"If it were worth while to ask your name I would--but I believe I know +it already." + +"Perhaps not." + +"Well, perhaps not; and pray what may it be?" + +"I will tell you, sir," replied Hartley. "This gentleman is--" + +"Larry O'Trap, a Spy and Whiteboy Agent," said Val, looking into the +Hue and Cry, and again surveying Easel. "He is imposing on you, Mr. +Hartley." + +"This gentleman, sir," proceeded Hartley, "is the Honorable Richard +Topertoe, brother to the Right Honorable Lord Cumber--" + +"And who has the honor to present you with this communication from that +nobleman," said Mr. Topertoe, "which contains your Dismissal from his +Agency; and this to you, Mr. M'Slime, which also contains your Dismissal +as his Law Agent. The authority of each of you from this moment ceases; +and yours, my sterling, excellent, and honorable friend, from this +moment recommences," said he, turning to Mr. Hickman. "This letter +contains your re-appointment to the situation which you so honorably +scorned to hold, when you found it necessary, as his Agent, to oppress +the people. Will you be good enough, Mr. M'Loughlin, to call in Mr. +Harman and those other people? You shall not be left in the dark, sir," +he proceeded, "as to the extent of our knowledge of your dishonesty, +treachery, and persecution." + +"Truly, my friend M'Clutchy, it is our duty now to act a Christian part +here. This dispensation may be ultimately for our good, if we receive it +in a proper spirit. May He grant it!" + +M'Clutchy's face became the color of lead on perusing his dismissal, +which was brief, stern, and peremptory--or as the phrase goes--short, +sharp, and decisive. It was written by Lord Cumber's own hand, and to +give it all due authenticity, had his seal formally attached at the +bottom. Harman now entered, accompanied by Darby, Poll Doolin, and a +number of those persons among the tenantry, whom M'Clutchy had robbed +and persecuted. On looking at them, after having twice perused the +letter of dismissal, his hands and knees trembled as if he were about to +fall, and on attempting to fold the letter, it was visible to all that +he could scarcely accomplish it. + +"Now," proceeded Mr. Topertoe, "I may as well inform you that I have +made myself thoroughly and most intimately acquainted with your conduct +in all its revolting phases; I have read and transmitted to my brother +two letters which passed between you and this pious gentleman, Mr. +M'Slime, here, upon the subject of Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman's +property--than which, nothing more flagitious could--in the way of +business, or in the performance of any public duty--enter the heart of +man. Just Heaven! a poor creature, perhaps prompted by the cravings of +hunger, will steal some paltry matter, not worth half a crown--perhaps +a pocket-handkerchief--and forthwith out comes justice, oh, not Justice, +but Law in her stead, with sword in hand, and scales most iniquitously +balanced; and, lo! the unfortunate wretch is immediately dragged to a +prison, and transported for life to a penal colony; whilst at the same +time, rapacious villains like you, will plunder by wholesale--will wring +the hearts of the poor, first by your tyranny, and afterwards rob them +in their very destitution. The unhappy, struggling widow, without a +husband to defend her, you would oppress, because she is helpless, and +your scoundrel son would corrupt her, were she not virtuous. You would +intoxicate an aged man that he might, in the unguarded moments of +inebriety, surrender a valuable lease into your keeping. You would +not receive your rents, except in gold, or which you made the wretched +people pay, ruinous, murderous premium, by selling it but to them from +day to day. You--in fact have now neither time nor patience to enumerate +your monstrous corruptions and robberies, although I know them all, +as you shall find ere long. There is one act, however, so refined +in diabolical depravity, so deeply narked by a spirit of cowardice, +revenge, and cruelty, that I might almost question whether, in the lowest +depths of hell itself, anything so damnably black and satanic could +originate--I allude to the plan which you conceived and got executed by +your heartless, cowardly son, aided by that old woman who stands therein +your presence, for ruining the stainless reputation of Mr. M'Loughlin's +only daughter." + +"I can prove that," said Poll, "and here I am ready and willing to do +so." + +"In this, however, thank God, you have failed," he continued, "yes, in +this, and every other act of your villainy you have been detected, and +shall be exposed and punished before the proper tribunal. It is you, +sir, and such scourges of the poor and industrious classes as you, who +goad the unhappy, the destitute, and despairing people into crimes that +are disgraceful to the country; it is you, and such as you, who force +them, maddened by your cruelty and oppression, to fall back upon +revenge, when they cannot find redress or justice in the laws of the +land. Unhappily the whole kingdom is studded too thickly with such men, +and until property in this unfortunate country is placed upon an equal +footing between landlord and tenant--until the rights and privileges of +him who farms and cultivates the soil, are as well protected and secured +by law as are those of the other party, so long will there be bloodshed +and crime. The murderer is justly abhorred, apprehended, and punished as +he ought in the sight of God and man to be: but is there no law to reach +unprincipled wretches like you, whose grinding rapacity, dishonesty, and +inhumanity, furnish him with the motives and incentives to the crime +he commits? As for you, gentlemen, and honest men as you are," he +proceeded, addressing M'Loughlin and Harman. "you remain, of course, +in your farms; you shall have reasonable and fair leases, and, what is +more, your credit shall be re-established on as firm a footing as ever. +You shall be enabled to resume your business on an ample scale, and that +as sure as I am master of two hundred thousand pounds. And now, O'Drive, +a word with you:--I have fully discovered your treachery to both +M'Clutchy and M'Slime; you were a willing agent in carrying out their +hard and heartless excesses. You were, in truth, a thorough bailiff, +without conscience, feeling, or remorse. In no instance have you ever +been known to plead for, or take the part of a poor man; so far from +that, I find that you have invited and solicited their confidence, +only--in case they did not satisfy your petty extortions--that you might +betray them to your relentless employer, whilst, under all possible +circumstances you fleeced them by threats, and acted the vampire on a +small scale. You are no longer a bailiff on this estate, and I have the +further satisfaction to assure you, that in consequence of a private +interview I had with the new bishop, the Right Rev. Dr. Lucre, +concerning your appointment to the situation of under goaler at Castle +Cumber, I have succeeded in getting it cancelled; so that you are at +liberty to carry your low knavery to the best market you can get for it. +In all this, I am authorized by my brother, who, I trust, will soon see +the erroneous notions which he entertains upon the subject of property, +and his duties as landlord. You, my dear friend, Mr. Hickman--my +friend, I say with pride, and the friend of the poor with still greater +pride--you will have the goodness to receive from Mr. M'Clutchy and +M'Slime all books and documents pertaining,to the estate, that are in +their possession." + +"Well, be my sowl," said Darby, who was the first to break the silence +that followed these observations; "if you were Lord Cumber himself, +instead of his brother, I'd call that same tratement of me as purty a +piece of ingratitude as ever came acrass me;--me that gave you most of +the information--that sould them both, I may say--an' the letthers too +that convicted them, are they forgotten?" + +"There is your friend and kindred spirit, Mr. M'Clutchy," replied Mr. +Topertoe, "who, only that he never forgives an injury, might get you a +secret appointment among the Castle Spies and Informers, with whom, +or rather it would appear, with the gentleman who drills them, he has +considerable influence. It is for such a respectable corps that your +talents are best adapted." + +"Of a truth," said Solomon, "this is a turning of the tables, to use a +somewhat vulgar adage. As for me, I know it is good to be purified in +the furnace, and scourged with many stripes, as it is a fresh proof that +I am cared for." + +Up until this moment M'Clutchy had not uttered a single syllable, but, +as we have said, he trembled very much, his temples throbbed, and his +brow fell. The squint in his left eye became deeper and more guilt-like. +The revulsion of feeling, coming upon him so unexpectedly as it did, was +dreadful, and the tumult within him quite beyond the power of language +to describe. + +He merely said, and this with parched lips and slow enunciation-- + +"Very well, Mr. Topertoe; your wishes touching the giving up of all +documents connected with the property shall be duly complied with, as +far as I am concerned. That, is all I choose to say just now." + +"And so far as I am concerned," said Solomon, "I can say that mine +also shall be rendered up with rejoicing--with rejoicing that I have no +further intercourse with a profligate and most unchristian landlord. +I feel that in this thing I have cause to be rather thankful than +otherwise." + +"Now, M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "I could overlook all your dishonesty +and treacherous misrepresentation of me to Lord Cumber--your attempt +to oust us out of our farms, and to put your son and M'Slime in our +places--your suppressing the fact, besides that we offered a thousand +pounds apiece for a renewal--your whispering away our commercial +reputation, and thereby bringing us in the end to ruin--all that, I say, +I could overlook and forgive; but for your foul and cowardly attempt to +destroy the fair fame of our spotless child--for that, sir, in which, +thank heaven, you failed, I now say, I trust, with honest pride, +and tell you face to face--if you had only the manliness to look in +mine--that I feel this to be the hour of my triumph--but not of my +vengeance, for I trust I am a Christian man." + +"As for me, M'Olutchy," said Harman, "really, on looking over your whole +conduct--into which there comes not one single virtue belonging to our +better nature--I am so filled with indignation, and a perception of the +baseness and blackness of your heart and character, your revenge, your +perfidy, and above all, your cowardice, that I can feel nothing for +you but a loathing and abhorrence that really sicken me when I think of +you." + +"What could you expect," observed Poll Doolin, "from the son of Kate +Clank and villainous ould Deaker?" + +M'Clutchy never raised his eye, but taking up his hat, he and Solomon, +followed soon after by Darby, took their departure in silence; Solomon +occasionally shrugging his shoulders and throwing up his eyes, like a +persecuted man. + +"There is now no further use for preserving my incognito," observed Mr. +Topertoe, "and as you, Mr. Sheriff, have had your journey for nothing, I +shall feel obliged if you will join these gentlemen at the Castle Cumber +Arms to dinner, where we can have an opportunity of talking these and +other matters over more at our leisure." + +"Do not expect me, sir," said Hartley, who felt that the delicacy of his +position with regard to Lord Cumber, rendered it altogether impossible +that he could be the guest of a man with whose brother he was likely +soon to fight a duel. + +"Well," replied Topertoe, "if you cannot come I shall regret it." + +"It is really out of my power, I assure you," replied Hartley, as he +bade him fare-Well. + +The sheriff accepted the invitation; and after shaking hands with, and +congratulating Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman, also took his leave. He +had scarcely gone, when a magnificent carriage and four dashed up to +the door, in which Topertoe, accompanied by Hickman, took his seat, and +again drove off towards. Castle Cumber, where the said carriage only had +arrived that morning from, the metropolis. + +Darby was certainly confounded by the unwelcome intelligence respecting +the loss of the Gaolership, which was conveyed to him in such an +unpleasant manner by Mr. Topertoe. He knew his own powers of wheedling, +however, too well, to despair of being able, could he see Lucre, to +replace himself as firmly as ever in his good opinion. With this purpose +in view, he wended his way to the Glebe House, where he understood the +newly made bishop yet was, having made arrangements to proceed the next +morning to Dublin, in order to be consecrated. There was, therefore, no +time to be lost, and he accordingly resolved to effect an interview +if he could. On arriving, the servant, who was ignorant of the change +against him which had been produced in his master's sentiments, +instantly admitted him; and the bishop, who had expected a present +of game from his neighbor, Lord Mountmortgage, desired him to be +admitted--the servant having only intimated that the man was come." + +"How is this?" said the Prelate in a loud and angry voice; "how did you +get in, sir?" + +"Plaise your Lordship," replied Darby, "I came in by the door, of +course--an' that, your Lordship, is generally the right way; for as +holy Scripture says," he proceeded, anxious to let his Lordship see how +deeply he was imbued with Scriptural truth--"as holy Scripture says, +'Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that entereth not by the door into +the sheep-fold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief +and a robber,' Indeed, my Lord, I never knewn the consolation that's in +Scripture antil lately, glory be to God!" + +The bishop looked at him with an angry and scrutinizing eye; for Darby's +deportment, to say truth, puzzled him very much. Whether his conduct +proceeded from audacity, or shear simplicity, he felt unable to +determine, from anything that he could see in Darby's imperturbable +features. + +"What is your business with me now? asked the prelate. + +"Why, your Lordship," replied Darby, "I've made out a couple of +proserlytes, that will be a credit to our blessed Establishment, as soon +as they're convarted. One of them, my Lord, is called Barney Butther, +an' the other Tom Whiskey, in regard of--" + +"Go about your business, sir," replied the prelate, reddening with +indignation; "begone." + +"I will, my Lord; only, my Lord, just before I go--about the Undher +Gaolership?" + +"Your appointment to it is cancelled," replied the other, "for many +reasons; you avoided prosecuting that wild priest." + +"But sure I said, my Lord, that when I'd get into my situation--" + +"Your appointment to it is cancelled, I repeat; the fact is, O'Drive, I +have too much regard for your morals and the advances you have recently +made in scriptural knowledge to place you in such a situation. It is +only some hardened sinner, some irreclaimable knave, and not an honest +man like you, that oughht to be appointed to such an office; the nature +of its duties would only draw you into bad habits and corrupt your +principles. The fact is, your very virtues and good qualities; prevent +you from getting it--for get it, you assuredly shall not." + +"Is that your last detarmination, my Lord?" + +"My last respecting that matter," replied the prelate. + +"Then, upon my conscience," returned Darby, "according to that rule, +hell resave the ha'porth of the kind there was to prevent you from bein' +a bishop. I hear you're goin' up to Dublin to be consecrated, and be me +sowl, you want it; but I'd take my book oath that all the grace in your +church won't be able to consecrate you into thrue religion. The back o' +my hand to you, I say; for I hate everything that is ungrateful." + +It often happens that a petty insult, coming from an unexpected source, +excites our indignation more than an offence from a higher quarter. The +new made prelate actually got black in the face, and giddy in the +head, with the furious fit of passion which seized him on hearing this +language from Darby. + +In the meantime, we leave him to cool as best he can, and follow Darby +to Castle Cumber, where he thought it probable he might meet Father +M'Cabe; nor was he mistaken. He found that very zealous gentleman +superintending the erection of a new chapel on a site given to Father +Roche by Mr Hartley. The priest, who knew that the other had recently +avoided him, felt considerably surprised at seeing the bailiff approach +him of his own free will. + +"Well," said he, in a voice which contained equal parts of irony and +anger, "what do you want with me, Mr. Protestant? Ah, what a blessed +Protestant you are! and what a hawl they made when they caught you! What +do you want, you shuffling scoundrel?" + +"Troth, the grace o' God, I fear," replied Darby, humbly. + +"And what brings you to me then? I mean, sirra, what's your business +now?" + +"Why, sir, devil a one o' me but's come jack to the ould creed. Troth, +your Reverence, the impressions you made on me the day we had the great +argument, was, wondherful. Be my sowl, it's yourself that can send +home the whi--word, your Rev-a-ence, in a way that it won't aisly be +forgotten. How-an-iver, sure hell resave the wie o me, but threwn back +his dirty religion to Lucre--an' left him an' it--although he offered, +if I'd remain wid them, to put Johnny Short out, and make me full +gaoler. My Lord,' says I, 'thruth's best. I've heard both sides o' +the argument from you and Father M'Cabe; an' be me sowl, if you were +a bishop ten times over, you couldn't hould a candle to him at arguin' +Scripture; neither are you the mild and forgiving Christian that he is. +Sure I know your church well,' says I up to him. 'It's a fat church, no +doubt; an' I'll tell you what's in it.'" + +"'What's that, you backslidin' vagabone?'" says he. + +"'Why, then, plenty of mait,' says I, 'but no salvation;' an' salvation +to me, your Reverence, but he got black over the whole face and shullers +wid rank passion. But sure--would your Reverence come a little more this +way; I think the men's listenin' to us--but sure," continued Darby, in a +low, wheedling, confidential, and friendly voice, "sure, sir, he wanted +me to prosecute you for the religious instruction--for trath it was +nothing else, glory be to God--that you gave me the day of the argument; +an'---now listen, your Reverence--he offered me a bribe if I'd do it." + +"What bribe!" + +"Why, sir, he put his hand, under his apron--sure he has a black silk +apron on him now, jist for all the world like a big man cook, dressed +out in murnin'--he put his hand undher his apron, and wid a hitch got it +into his breeches pocket--'here's a fifty pound note for you,' says he, +'if you'll prosecute that wild priest--there's no end to his larnin,' +says he, 'and I want to punish him for it; so, Darby, here's a fifty +pound note, an' it'll be yours when the prosecution's over; and I'll +bear all the expenses besides.'" + +"And what did you say to that?" asked the priest. + +"Troth," replied Darby, "I jist bid him considher his fifty pound note +as waste paper--an' that Was my answer." + +"And there's mine, you lying, hypocritical scoundrel," said the priest, +laying his whip across the worthy bailiff's shoulders; "you have been +for thirty years in the parish, and no human being ever knew you to go +to your duty--you have been a scourge on the poor---you have maligned +and betrayed those who placed confidence in you--and the truth is, not +a word ever comes out of your lips can be believed or trusted; when you +have the marks of repentance and truth about you, I may listen to you, +but not until then--begone!" + +"Is that your last detarmination?" said Darby. + +"No doubt of it," replied the priest; "my last, and I'll stick to it +till I see you a different scoundrel from what you are." + +"Ay," replied Darby; "then, upon my sowl, you're all of a kidney--all +jack fellow like--an' divil rasave the dacent creed among you, barrin' +the Quakers, and may heaven have a hand in me, but I think I was born +to be a Quaker, or, any way, a Methodist. I wish to God I understood +praichin'--at aitin' the bacon and fowl I am as good a Methodist as any +of them--but, be me sowl, as I don't understand praichin', I'll stick to +the Quakers, for when a man praiches there, all he has to do is to say +nothing." Having uttered these sentiments in a kind of soliloquy, +Darby, after having given the priest a very significant look, took his +departure. + +"Well," said he to himself, "if the Quakers, bad luck to them, won't +take me, I know what I'll do--upon my conscience, I'll set up a new +religion for myself, and sure I have as good a right to bring out a +new religion myself, as many that done so. Who knows but I may have a +congregation of my own yet, and troth it may aisily be as respectable +as some o' them. But sure I can't be at a loss, for, plaise God, if all +fails, I can go to Oxford, where I'm tould there's a manifactory of new +religions--the Lord be praised for it!" + + * Darby had better success in his speculations than perhaps + he ever expected to have. We need not inform the generality + of our readers that the sect called Darbyites were founded + by him, and have been called after him to the present day, + sometimes Darbyites, and sometimes Drivers. + +On returning home, Val was observed to be silent and morose. The dashing +speed of his ride to M'Loughlin's was not usual to him, for his motions +were generally slow; it was significant, however, of the greedy spirit +which stimulated him to the long wished for glut of his revenge. Not +so his return. He walked his horse as if he had been a philosopher on +horseback; and when Phil (now quite tipsy), who expected to see him +return with all the savage triumph of vengeance in his looks, saw +that he was dumb, spiritless and absolutely crestfallen, and who also +observed the symptoms we spoke of, he began naturally enough to suspect +that something had gone wrong. His interrogations, however, were +fruitless. Val, on his inquiring the cause of these appearances, told +him in a petulant fit of that ill-temper which is pecular to cowards, +"to go be hanged;" a compliment which dutiful Phil returned to his +worthy father with interest. This was all that passed between them, with +the single exception of an observation which fell from Phil's lips as he +left the dinner-table, late in the evening. + +"I tell you what, M'Clutchy, you're a confounded ill-tempered old +scoundrel, an-and what-what's more--o-o-over to your disgrace, a d----d +bad, rotten, and unsound Protestant. How do you ex-expect, sir, that a +Protestant Establishment can be sup-support-ported in this country by +such scandalous con-conduct as this? hip, hip, hurra! Instead of-of +being an ex-example to your son, it is your-your son, M'Clutchy, that is +an example to you, hip, hip, hur--, and so good night to you, I'm--I'm +on for a neat bit of business--that's all. Go to bed, you old dog." + + + + +CHAPTER XXX.--The Mountain Grave-Yard + +--Dreams of a Broken Heart--The Christian Pastor at his Duty--Melancholy +Meeting between a Mother and her Son--A Death-Bed that the Great +might envy--Phil experiences a Specimen of the Pressure from +without--Retribution--The Death of Valentine M'Clutchy. + + +It was now about seven o'clock in the evening; and up from the moment +of Val's return, he had scarcely spoken half a dozen words. As Phil was +leaving the room, however, the father called after him:-- + +"Phil," said he, "come here for a minute." + +"Well," said Phil, staggering back, "what's in the wind now?" + +"Phil," continued the father, "which of all the blood-hounds is the +greatest and most remorseless villain?" + +"A d----d ni-nice point to decide, when they're on-on duty," replied +Phil. + +"If he escapes me--" said Val in a soliloquy;--"but no matter," he +added, speaking aloud; "I'm a fool for putting such a question to you. +Go to bed, and sleep yourself sober." + +Phil staggered out of the room in a very musical mood, slamming' the +door after him with a force that made the house shake. He had not gone a +hundred yards from the hall door when Raymond appeared in the distance, +beckoning him forward; a signal for which he was looking out with that +kind of drunken eagerness which is incapable of forethought, or any +calculation whatsoever that might aid in checking the gross and onward +impulses of blind and savage appetite. Phil's instinctive cowardice, +however, did not abandon him. In the course of the day he primed +and loaded his pistols, in order to be prepared against any of those +contingencies which the fears of pusillanimous men never fail to create. +On meeting with Raymond, who had been waiting for him outside, at a +place previously agreed on between them, he pulled, out the fire-arms, +and showed them to the fool, with a swaggering air, which, despite his +intoxication, sorely belied what he felt. They then proceeded together +by the mountain path, the moon occasionally showing herself by +glimpses--for the night, although cloudy, was not dark, but on the +contrary, when the clouds passed away, she almost might be said to flash +out with singular brilliancy. + +We now leave them on their way to the place of appointment, as it had +been arranged by Raymond, and beg our readers to accompany us to the +church-yard in the mountains, where all that were dear and so devotedly +beloved by poor Mary O'Regan slept. This unhappy woman, though closely +watched by her friends and neighbors, always contrived, with the +ingenuity peculiar to maniacs and insane persons, to escape from time to +time from under their surveillance, and make her way to the spot, which, +despite the aberrations of reason and intellect, maintained all its +sacred and most tender influences over her pure and noble heart. For +some time past, moved probably by some unconscious impression of the +pastoral attention and kindness of the amiable Father Roche, she had +made his house her home; and indeed nothing could exceed the assiduity +and care with which she was there watched and tended. Everything that +could be done for her was done; but all sympathy and humanity on their +part came too late. Week after week her strength wasted away, in a +manner that was painfully perceptible to those who felt an interest in +her. Her son Ned was still in the country, but had no fixed residence, +and merely remained for the purpose of seeing her freed from all her +miseries, and laid in her last unbroken sleep beside those whom she had +loved so well. On the evening in question, she appeared to be so feeble +and exhausted, that the good priest's family did not for a moment +imagine that any particular vigilance was necessary. Between six and +seven o'clock, then, she had performed the last of those pilgrimages +of the heart which time after time had been made by her to the solitary +church-yard in the mountains--containing, as it did, the only humble +shrine from which her bruised and broken spirit could draw that ideal +happiness, of which God in His mercy had not bereft her. + +On arriving at the old ruin, she felt so completely enfeebled, that a +little rest was absolutely necessary previous to her reaching the graves +she came to visit, although they were only a few yards distant from +the spot which afforded the poor creature the requisite shelter while +recruiting her exhausted powers. At length she arose, and having +tottered over to the graves, she sat down, and clasping her hands about +her knees, she rocked her body to and fro, as Irish women do when under +the influence of strong grief. She then chaunted a verse or two of an +old song, whose melancholy notes were not out of keeping with either the +scene or the hour; nor an unsuitable burthen for the wild night breeze +which wailed through the adjoining ruins in tones that might almost +be supposed to proceed from the spirit of death itself, as it kept its +lonely watch over those who lay beneath. + +"I wonder," said she, "that they do not speak to me before this, +for they know I'm here. Ah," she proceeded, "there's his voice!--my +white-haired Brian's voice! what is it, 'darling? I'm listenin'! + +"'Come, mother, come,' he says, 'we are waitin'!' + +"Is it for me, _a lanna dhas oge_? + +"'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother dear, for you!' + +"Well, Brian darlin', I'll come. + +"'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are wait-in'!' + +"And," she proceeded, "who is this again? ah, sure I needn't ax; Torley, +my heart, I'm here! + +"'Come, mother dear,' he says, 'for we are waitin'!' + +"Is it for me, my manly son? + +"'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother--mother dear, for you?' + +"Well, Torley darlin', I'll come. + +"'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are waitin'?' + +"Ah," she proceeded, "here is my own Hugh, my brave husband, that I +fought for, what does he say? Whisht! + +"'Come, Mary dear--come, the distracted, the lovin,' but the +heart-broken--come to us, my fair-haired Mary, for we are waitin'; our +hearts love you even 'in heaven, and long for you to be with us.' + +"Husband of my heart, I will come; and here sure I feel as you all do +in heaven--for there is one thing that nothing can kill, and will never +die, that is the light that's in a lovin' wife's heart--the light that +shines in a mother's love--Hugh, _asthore machree_, I'll come, for sure +I'm jist ready. + +"You are not sick now, Brian," she proceeded; "it isn't the cowld +pratee, and the black sickenin' bog water you have there! + +"'No, mother dear,' he said, 'but we want you; oh, don't stay away from +us, for our hearts long for you.' + +"I will come, avillish--sure I'm jist ready. Torley," she proceeded, +sustaining a dialogue that proceeded, as it were, out of the accumulated +affection of a heart whose tenderness shed its light where that of +reason failed,--"Torley, my manly son, your young cheek is not pale +now, nor your eye dim--you don't fear the hard-hearted. Agent, nor his +bloodhounds, nor the cowld and bitther storm that beat upon your poor +head, an' you dyin'--you don't fear them now, my brave boy--you neither +feel nor fear any of these things now, Torley, my son! + +"'No mother,' he says 'all we want now is to have you wid us. Our hearts +long for you, and why do you stay away from us?--Oh! come mother dear, +for we're waitin'!' + +"Torley, my manly son, I'll come, for I'm jist ready. + +"Hugh, husband of my heart, you're not now lyin' sick upon the damp +cowld straw, as you war in the cabin on the mountains--your head has no +pain now, avick machree--nor is your heart low and sorrowful wid your +own illness and our want.--The voices of the Dashers, or Blood-hounds, +aren't now in your ears, nor need you be afraid that they will disturb +your bed of death--an' distract your poor sowl wid their blasphemin', +when you ought to think of God's mercy.--Oh! no, avillish, sure you feel +none of that now, Hugh dear? + +"'Oh, no,' he says, 'nothing of that do we feel now--nothing of that do +we fear. But, come, Mary, oh, come, come to us--and we think the time +long till we see you again.'" + +These affecting dialogues, or rather "dreams of a broken heart," were +literally nothing else than the mere echoes of her own afliction; for +it was obvious that the love she felt for her husband and children, +unconscious as she then was of it, gave form to the sentiments which +her excited imagination had clothed in language that was so highly +figurative. For some time she was silent, or muttered to herself such +fragments of unconnected language as rose to her fancy--and ultimately +laid down her head upon the little grassy mound which constituted their +graves. Here she had not lain long, when, overcome by the fatigue of +the journey, she closed her eyes, and despite the chilliness of a biting +night, sank into an unbroken slumber. + +Sleep on, poor sufferer--and let those whose crimes have placed thy +distracted head upon that cold and unnatural pillow, reflect that they +have a judge to meet, who will, in another life, not overlook the deeds +done in this. Who is there who would, even in this thy most pitiable +destitution, exchange thy innocent, but suffering spirit, for +M'Clutchy's heart, or the dark crimes which it festers. + +At length she awoke, but whether it was that the keen and piercing air +had cooled the pulsation of her beating brain, or that the restoration +to reason, which is called, when applied to the insane--a lightening +before death--had taken place, it is impossible to say with anything +like certainty. At all events, on awakening, the first sensations she +experienced were those of surprise and wonder, and immediately did she +feel her mind filled with a train of shocking and fearful reminiscences. +Her physical sufferings were also great. She felt benumbed and chilled; +her heart was cold, and a shivering sickness ran through her whole +frame, with a deadly presage of approaching dissolution. She looked up +to the sky, then round her at the graves, and in a moment recognized the +burying-place of her husband and children. All the circumstances then +connected with the Extermination scene at Drum Dim, and that of the +treble death in the mountains, rushed upon her recollection with a force +at once vivid and powerful. + +"Father of heaven,"* she exclaimed, "I have been driven out of my raison +by too much sorrow, and here I am restored to it on the very graves +where those that I love!" + + * The reader is to remember, that she is supposed to give + utterance to all her feelings and sentiments in the Irish + language. + +She then endeavored to rise, but found on making the attempt, that she +had not strength for it. The consciousness of this filled her heart with +woe almost unutterable. + +"Merciful father," she again exclaimed, "do not--oh, do not suffer me +to die on this wild mountain side, far from the face or voice of a +human being! There is nothing too powerful for your hand, or beyond your +strength or your mercy, to them that put their humble trust in you. Save +me, oh, God, from this frightful and lonely death, and do not let +me perish here without the consolations of religion! But if it's thy +blessed and holy will to let me do so, then it is my duty to submit! +Give me strength, then, to bow to thy will, and to receive with faith +and thanksgivin' whatever you choose to bestow upon me! And above all +things O Lord, grant me a repentant heart, and that my bleak and lonely +death-bad may have the light of glory upon it! Grant me this, O God, and +I will die happy even here; for where your blessed presence is there can +be nothing wantin'." + +Her piety and faith in the mercy of God were not without their own +reward. The last words were scarcely uttered, when Father Roche, +accompanied by her son Ned, advanced to the grave on which she sat. He +had been absent on a sick call, and would not have been aware of her +escape to the mountains, were it not for her son, who, having met him on +his return, requested permission to see her, only for a few minutes, if +not too late. The priest granted him so reasonable a request, and it +was on seeking for her that the discovery of her absence took place, the +rest of the family having been of opinion that she had gone to bed +in the early part of the evening, as was mostly her habit. The priest +suspected, from her weak state of health and shattered constitution, +that such a journey would probably prove fatal, and with his usual +discrimination he calculated upon the restoration to reason which +actually occurred. + +"In that case," said he, "the administration of the last rites will +console her on her bed of death, and God forbid that she should depart +without them. It is my duty that she shall not." + +"Poor woman!" said he, as they approached her, "this chilly night will +be a severe trial upon her." + +"What wouldn't I give, my dear mother,--oh, what wouldn't I give," said +Ned, tenderly taking her hand, "to see your senses restored to you!" + +"Thank the Almighty, then!" she returned feebly--"what!--my darling +son Ned! and Father Roche! Oh, was I not right in sayin' that there is +nothing too powerful for God's strength and love?" she exclaimed; she +then kissed her son, who burst into tears, and tenderly embraced her. + +"See how unexpectedly He can surround even this cowld death-bed with his +mercy." + +"Don't say a death-bed", my dear mother, for now that the blight of +raison has left you, I hope you'll get new strength." + +"I will," she replied, with a feeble but Mournful smile, "I will Ned; +but it'll be in heaven with them I love, and that love me. My dear Ned, +all my cares are now over--my affections past--I will soon be out of +sorrow and out of pain: this heart will suffer no more, and this head +will no longer be distracted! Oh, the hopes of heaven, but they're sweet +and consolin' on the bed of death!" + +"Cherish them, dear Mary," said Father Roche; "for I believe you will +soon--very soon indeed--realize them. Her pulse," he added, "is scarcely +perceptible, and you hear how very feeble her voice is." + +"What are we to do, then?" asked her son; "do you think, my dear mother, +that you could bear removal?" + +"No--ah, no,"--she replied, "No--I feel that I am going fast--my feet +and limbs are like marble, and the cowld is gettin' into my heart." + +"Ah, my darling mother," said the son, in tears, "but that was the warm +and the lovin' heart!" + +Father Roche then having put on his stole, went to her side, and, as +is usual in all cases of approaching death, where a priest is in +attendance, administered to her the last rites of religion. Here in the +mountain solitude did he cheer her departing spirit, as he had that of +her husband, with the sustaining hopes of a glorious immortality. + +"Now," said she, "I know that I die happy; for here where I couldn't +expect it, has the light of God's mercy shone upon me. He has brought my +son to my side--He has brought the consolations of religion to my heart, +when I was lyin' helpless and alone in this mountain desert. Yes," she +said, "I forgive all those who ill-treated both me and mine--and the +worst I wish them is, to pray that God may forgive them, and turn their +hearts. And now, Hugh, I am ready--Tor-ey, my manly son, and my own +Brian, with the fair locks, we'll soon be all united again--and never to +part any more--never to part anymore! Ned," said she, "kiss me; you are +all I now lave behind me out of my fine family; but God's will be +done! I need not bid you," she added, "to bury me here, for I know you +will--and I wish you would put little Brian's coffin on mine, in order +that my darling child may sleep where I'd have him sleep, until the +Resurrection Day--that is, upon this lovin' mother's breast. But what is +this?" she asked; "is there a light--a bright light--about me? I feel +happy--happy. Oh sure this is the love of God that is to recompense me +for all!" + +Ned, who had her in his arms, felt her head fall down, and on looking at +her, he perceived that she had actually passed away into the happiness +of God's love, which, no doubt, diffused its radiance through her spirit +that was now made perfect. + +"Yes," said Father Roche, wiping his eyes, "a pure and noble spirit has +indeed passed from a life of great trial and crushing, calamity into one +of glory and immortality. There is a proof, and a consoling proof, +of the lustre which so often irradiates the death-beds of the humble +classes in Ireland, who die far from the knowledge and notice of the +great, whom their toil probably goes to support." + +"Yes," replied Ned, bitterly; "it's an aisy thing for Lord Cumber to +know what's either good or bad upon his estate--how the people live, or +how they die--very aisy, indeed, for a man who never puts a foot on it, +but leaves them to the mercy of such villains as M'Clutchy. Had he been +livin' on his property, or looked afther it as he ought to do, I don't +think it's lyin' stretched, far from house or habitation, that you would +be this night, my blessed mother--my poor father, and your childre cut +down by persecution, and yourself, without house or home, runnin' an' +unhappy, deranged creature about the country, and now lyin' there widout +a roof to cover your poor remains." + +"Do not say so," replied Father Roche; "she shall be waked in my house, +and buried at my expense." + +"If you'll allow her to be waked there, I will thank you, Father Eoche; +but the expenses of her burial, I am myself able to pay; and so long +as I am, you know, I could not suffer any one else to intherfare; many +thanks to you, sir, in the meantime." + +"Well then," said the priest, "as I know and understand the feeling, I +shall not press the matter; but since the body cannot be left without +protection, I think you had better go down, and fetch a few neighbors +with a door, and let her be removed forthwith. I shall remain till you +return." + +"It's a very hard thing, Father Roche, that you should be put to sich a +duty," replied O'Regan; "but the truth is, I wouldn't take all the money +in the King's exchequer, and remain here by myself." + +"But I have no such fears," said the priest; "I shall stay within the +shelter of this old ruin until your return, which will be as quick, I +trust, as possible." + +O'Regan was about to start off at the top of his speed; and Father Roche +began to walk to and fro the old ruin, struck by the pale moonlight, as +it fell through the gray stone windows, loopholes, and breaches of +the walls, lighting up some old remnant of human ambition, or perhaps +exposing a grinning skull, bleached by time and the elements into that +pale white, which is perhaps the most ghastly exponent of death and +the dead. At this moment, however, they were each in no small +degree startled by the sound of human voices; and, to complete their +astonishment, two figures approached the humble grave on which the dead +body of Mary O'Regan lay stretched. On turning towards the moon they +were both immediately recognized by the priest and O'Regan, who looked +on in silence and wonder, and waited to hear, if possible, the object of +their visit. + +"I say again," said Phil, "I say my jolly ph-foolosophy--eh +foolosopher--that is to say, you deal in foolosophy--an ex-excellent +trade for a fool--I say again, you have brought me the wrong way, or +misled me somehow--upon my honor and reputation, Rimon, I rather +think you're short of sense, my man. Come, I say, let us be off home +again--what the devil did you bring me to a church-yard for?--eh?" + +"Whisht," said Raymond, "let us see--who have we here? Ah," said he, +stooping down and feeling the chill of death upon her features, "it is +Mary O'Regan, and she's dead--dead!" + +"Dead," exclaimed Phil, starting, "curse you, Rimon, let us be off at +full speed, I say--Gad, I'm in a nice pickle; and these pistols are of +no use against any confounded ghost." + +On hearing that Phil carried pistols, O'Regan started, and had it been +daylight, a fierce but exulting fire might have been seen to kindle in +his eyes. + +"What can have brought them here?" asked Father Roche; "I cannot +understand their visit at such an hour to such a place as this." + +"A few minutes, sir, will make all clear, maybe." + +"And what brought poor Mary here to die, do you know?" inquired Raymond; +"no you don't," he replied, "but I will tell you--she came to die near +poor White-head that she loved so much, and near Torley, and near poor +Hugh himself, that the bloodhounds--" + +"Damn my honor, Rimon, if I can stand this any longer--I'm off." + +"Hould!" said Raymond, with a shout whose echoes rang through the ruins; +"you musn't go till you hear me out," and on uttering the words he +gripped him by the arm, and led him over to the dead body. + +"I'm goin' to tell you myself," proceeded Raymond; "she came to die here +that she might be near them--do you onderstand?" and he involuntarily +pressed the arm he still held with his huge iron finger, until Phil told +him he could not bear the pain. "She came to die here that she mightn't +have far to go to them; for you don't know, maybe, that it's on their +grave she is now lyin':--ha, ha; that's one. DID YOU EVER SEE A MURDERED +WOMAN, CAPTAIN PHIL?" + +"Never," replied Phil, who stood passive in his grip. + +"Ha, ha, ha," he chuckled, "that's not a good one. Well, but, did you +ever see a murdherer?" + +"Some o' the blood-hounds pinked fellows, I believe, but then they were +only rebels and Pap-papishes." + +"Ha, ha," still chuckled Raymond, as he confronted himself by degrees +with Phil, "I swore it for poor White-head's sake--and for Mary +M'Loughlin's sake--an' for twenty sakes besides." + +"God! Rimon, what do you mean?" said Phil, "there's a dreadful look +in your eyes Rimon, you are an excellent fellow; but tell me what you +mean?" + +"To show you a murdherer," he replied; "and now I have one by the +throat!" + +As he spoke, he clutched him by the neck with a grasp that might +strangle a tiger. Then, as before in O'Regan's sheeling, all the fury of +the savage came upon him; his eyes blazed fearfully--the white froth of +passion, or rather of madness, appeared upon his lips, and his bowlings +resembled the roaring of some beast of prey, while tearing up its +quivering victim in the furious agonies of protracted hunger. In a +moment Phil was down, and truly the comparison of the beast of prey, and +his struggling victim, is probably the most appropriate that could be +made; when we consider the position of the one writhing helplessly upon +the ground, and the other howling in all the insatiable wildness of +bloodthirsty triumph over him. So hard and desperate indeed was the tug +for life, and so deadly was the immediate sense of suffocation becoming, +that Phil, whose eyes were already blinded, and who was only able to +utter a low hoarse gurgle, which sounded like the death-rattle in his +throat, was utterly unable either to think of or to use his fire-arms. +The onset, too, was so quick, that neither Father Roche nor O'Regan had +time to render assistance. + +"Great heaven," exclaimed the priest, "is the young man, bad and wicked +as he is, to be murdered before our eyes by that gigantic idiot!" + +He proceeded to the spot just when Raymond was about to repeat, in +reality, the imaginary scene with the pillow. + +"Ho, ho," he shouted, "give us betther measure--a little more of +it--the same tongue never was your own friend, nor the friend of any one +else--ha, ha,--ho, ho, ho. There, that's one--take it out o' that, will +you?--whoo, hoo--hello, hach, ach!--This for White-head, and this for +Mary M'----" + +"What's this, Raymond?" said Father Roche, gently laying his hand upon +his huge arm, the muscles of which, now strung into almost superhuman +strength, felt as hard as oak. "Stop, Raymond," he proceeded, "would you +like that work yourself, my good boy?" + +"Father Roche!" said Raymond, relaxing his hold more from surprise than +anything else. + +"If you will take your hand from his throat, Raymond, my good boy, +I will tell you where you will get a cock that no other bird in the +country could have a chance with. There's a good boy--let him go. Follow +me over here, and leave him." + +"A cock that cannot be beat?" exclaimed Raymond, starting at once to his +feet, "no, but will you?" + +"I will tell you where he is," said the priest, "but do not harm him +more," pointing to Phil,--"I only trust in God that it is not too late." +He stooped to examine Phil's countenance, and indeed the sight was as +strongly calculated to excite mirth as disgust. There he lay, his foul +tongue projecting out of his mouth, which was open and gasped for wind; +his huge goggle eyes, too, had their revolting squint heightened by +terror into an expression very like that assumed by a clown when he +squints and makes faces at the audience, whilst his whole countenance +was nearly black from excess of blood, and the veins about his forehead +and temples stood out swollen as if filled with ink. + +"Aye, you may look at him," said Raymond--"he is apurty boy now, +countin' the stars there. A beauty you were, a beauty you are, and so I +leave you!" + +"Come over," said Father Roche to O'Regan, "and see if you can render +him any assistance. You are stronger." + +"Would he know me, do you think?" said O'Regan before he went over. + +"At present, certainly not," replied Father Roche; "but he is breathing, +and in about eight or ten minutes I hope he will probably recover." + +O'Regan went over, loosed his cravat, and stayed with him a few moments, +after which he returned to Raymond and the priest, who were now in the +ruin. + +"I think he will be well enough shortly," he observed, "but the truth +is, Raymond, that he wasn't worth your vengeance. I will now go and +fetch a few of the neighbors to assist in bringing my poor mother down +from this lonely spot, that she may at least have a Christian roof over +her." + +He accordingly departed, and Father Roche in a few minutes had Phil's +mind completely disentangled from the train of dark thoughts and +affectionate impulses by which it had been for some time past +alternately influenced. + +"Raymond," said the priest, "how could you think of committing such a +frightful act as murder?" + +"Ha, ha!" he replied, "sure i'twas when I thought of Mary M'Loughlin and +poor White-head." + +"And how did it happen that, of all places in the world, you both came +here?" + +"Becaise White-head and the rest are here. Sure he thought he was comin' +to a poor creature upon no good, and when he was drunk it was aisey to +bring him anywhere--ha, ha! that's one too--for I--can manage him." + +"I thank the Almighty Father," ejaculated the priest, "that I was able +to prevent another murder this night--for most assuredly, Raymond, you +would have taken his life." + +"Ho, ho!" exclaimed the fool, with a little of his former ferocity, +"sure it was for that I brought him here--aye, aye, nothin' else." + +"Well, while you live," continued the old man, "never attempt to have +the blood of a fellow creature on your soul. I must go over and see how +he feels--I perceive he is able to sit up. Young man," he proceeded, +addressing Phil, "I render God thanks that I have been instrumental in +saving your life this night." + +"That's more than I know," replied this grateful youth; "I neither saw +nor heard you, if you were." + +"It matters not," replied the other, "let me assist you to rise." + +"I can rise myself now," said he, getting up and staggering; "I'll +transport you and that d----d savage, Rimon the hatter. You are a +po-popish priest, and you cannot be he-here at this time of night for +much good. Never fear but I'll make you give an account of yourself, my +old buck." + +The, reader is already aware that Phil had been far advanced in +intoxication previously; but when we take into account the fearful +throttling he received, and the immense rush of blood which must have +taken place to the brain, we need not be surprised that he should +relapse into the former symptoms of his intoxication, or, in other +words, that its influence should be revived in him, in consequence of +the treatment he received. + +"I think," continued Phil, "that I have got you and Rimon in my power +now, and damn my hon-honor, may be we won't give you a chase a-across +the country that'll put mettle into your heels; hip, hip, hurrah! Ay, +and may be we won't give big M'--M'Cabe, or M'Flail, a ran that will do +him good too, hip, hip--so good--good-night till I see you-you just as +you ought to be--knitting your stock-cooking like Biddy O'Doherty; hip!" + +He then staggered on homewards, half stupid from the strangulation +scene, and very far removed from sobriety, in consequence of the copious +libations of brandy he had swallowed in the course of the day and +evening. + +"Good night, Captain Phil," cried Raymond after him; "when will you come +to the hills to meet Bet M'Cracken again?--Ha ha there now, that's one." + +"Poor infatuated young man," exclaimed Father Roche; "if you were not so +completely an object of contempt, you would surely be one of compassion. +May God in his mercy pity and relieve the unfortunate people whose +destinies, domestic comforts, and general happiness, are to such an +extent in the keeping of men like you and your wretched father--men who +breathe an atmosphere rank with prejudices of the worst description, and +hot with a spirit of persecution that is as free from just policy as +it is from common sense! When will this mad spirit of discord between +Christians--mad, I call it, whether it poison religion, politics, or +inflame religion--be banished by mutual charity, and true liberty, from +our unhappy country? and when will the rulers of that country learn +that most important secret, how to promote the happiness of the people +without degradation on the one hand, or insolent triumph on the other?" + +O'Regan's return with the neighbors from the lower country, was +somewhat, and yet not much, more protracted than Father Roche had +expected. Considering everything, however, there was little time lost, +for he had brought about a dozen and a half of the villagers with him. +Having reached the cold bed where she lay, and where all her affections +had dwelt, they placed her upon a door, and having covered her body with +a cloak brought for the purpose, the little solitary procession directed +their steps to that humble roof which had been, ever since Father +Roche occupied it, a sheltering one to destitution, and poverty, and +repentance. + +As they began to move away, O'Regan said-- + +"Excuse me for a few minutes--I wish to go back to the spot where my +father and brothers sleep; that surely is but natural, and I will soon +overtake you." + +They then proceeded, and he remained at the graves of his relatives. He +stood over them in silence for many minutes, keeping his face covered +with his hands. At length he knelt down and sobbed out aloud. + +"Father," said he, "I have fulfilled my oath--Torley, I have fulfilled +my oath--Brian, my sweet and fair-haired child--your brother, when none +was left to do you justice but myself, has fulfilled his oath. Listen to +me and rest quiet in your, graves. The oppressor is no more--the scourge +of the poor--the persecutor--the robber that trampled upon all law--that +laughed at justice--that gave vent to his bad passions, because he knew +that there was neither law, nor justice in the country to protect people +like you or to punish himself;--that oppressor--that scourge of the +poor--that persecutor--that robber, is this night sent to his account by +my hand--for by no other had such a right to fall.--Sleep quiet and +contented in your graves my father--and Torley and poor Brian! As we had +no law for us in this country--I was his law--I was his justice--and so +may God prosper me, if there is not a heavy load taken off of my heart +by the fate that has come on the villain by my hand!" + +He spoke these words m tears and deep sobs after which he composed +himself, so that he might appear in his usual mood, that of simple +grief, on rejoining his companions. + +The morning of the following day, the town, and neighborhood of Castle +Cumber were in a state of extraordinary excitement and tumult. + +"Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq.," said the True Blue, "the excellent and +humane Agent of the Castle Cumber property, was most barbarously shot +dead in his parlor, about ten o'clock on the previous night. By this +diabolical act, the poor of that admirably managed property," continued +his brother Orangeman, "have lost, &c, &c." + +But it is really sickening to read these unprincipled vindications of +the scoundrels who drive the people into crime and bloodshed by their +rack-renting and oppression. It is time that honest men should speak +out, and fasten upon these scourges of their country, their proper +appellative. To this murder, as to others of a similar character, there +never was any clew found; notwithstanding the large rewards that were +subscribed by the gentry of the county and by government. Phil was too +drunk the evening before to remember anything distinctly. His pistols +were never found, nor was any other discovery made which could fasten +even suspicion on any particular individual. + +If Phil, however, were drunk the night before his father's death, he was +sober enough the night after it. On that night there was not a hill +head on all the Castle Cumber estate which had not its bonfire and +its rejoicing--for the re-appointment of Mr. Hickman to the agency. It +might, however, be observed in-general--and it is frightful to be +forced to record such a surfeit of things--that the tenantry, one and +all appeared to feel a singular complacency of temper on the occasion--a +strong sense as it were, of great relief--a revival of good spirits--a +cherishing of rational hope--associated with dreams of domestic comfort, +reasonable indulgence, sympathy, and common justice. + +[Illustration: PAGE 355-- Such was the end of Valentine M'Clutchy] + +Such was the end of Valentine M'Clutchy--and as we have only one other +fact in connection with him to record, we may as well record it here. On +the morning after his death, his mother, Kate Clank, was found dead on +the steps of Castle Cumber gaol, whither, it would seem, she had come, +as if from a principle of early recollection, to the spot where she had +first drawn her breath in innocence; and who can tell, or will any one +dare to say, that she died in guilt, or unforgiven? That is only known +to God, by whom she was to be judged. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI.--Richard Topertoe and his Brother + +--Lord Cumber's Duel--Shot by Hartley--Dies in the Vindication of a +tyrannical Principle--Marriage of Harman and Mary O'Loughlin--Solomon +struck off the roll--Handsome Compliment to the Judge--Solomon's +Death--Dances the Swaggering Jig--Lucre's Virtues and Christian Death. + + +The Honorable Richard Alexander Topertoe, for he was sometimes called +the one and sometimes the other, but most frequently Richard, had been +for several years on the continent, where he found it more economical +to reside than at home. A circumstance connected with a gambling debt of +his brother's; communicated by a friend, brought him suddenly to London, +where he arrived in time to save his brother's reputation and fortune, +and most probably his life, for Lord Cumber, be it known, was very +nearly what is termed a professed duelist. Having succeeded in saving +his brother from being fleeced by a crew of aristocratic black-legs, +and thereby rendered an appeal to the duello unnecessary, he happened to +become acquainted with a very wealthy merchant, whose daughter, in the +course of a few months, he wooed and won. The thing in fact is common, +and has nothing at all of romance in it. She had wealth and beauty; +he had some title. The father, who passed off to a different +counting-house, about a couple of months after their marriage, left him +and her to the enjoyment of an immense property in the Funds; and +sooth to say, it could not have got into better hands. She was made +the Honorable Mrs. Richard Topertoe, and if a cultivated understanding, +joined to an excellent and humane heart, deserved a title, in her person +they did. After his arrival in London he had several conversations with +his brother, whose notions with regard to property he found to be of the +cool, aristocratic, and contemptuous school; that is to say, he did not +feel himself bound to neglect the pleasures and enjoyments of life, and +to look after his tenants. It was enough that he received their rents, +and paid a sensible Agent to collect them. What more could he do? Was he +to become their slave? + +Richard, who now felt quite anxious to witness the management of his +brother's estate--if only for the purpose of correcting his bad logic +upon the subject of property, came over incognito to the metropolis, +accompanied by his wife; and it was to his brother, under the +good-humored sobriquet of Spinageberd, that he addressed the letters +recorded in these volumes. He also had a better object in view, which +was to purchase property in the country, and to reside on it. That +he did not succeed in rooting out of Lord Cumber's mind his senseless +prejudices with respect to the duties of a landlord, was unfortunately +none of his fault. All that man could do, by reasoning, illustration, +and remonstrance, he did; but in vain; the old absurd principle of the +landlord's claims upon his tenantry, Lord Cumber neither could nor would +give up; and having made these necessary observations, we proceed with +our narrative. + +Better than a week had now elapsed; M'Clutchy had been interred with +great pomp--all the Orangemen of the neighboring districts having +attended "his honored and lamented remains" to the grave, each dressed +in his appropriate Orange costume. The provincial chaplain, remarkable +for singing his own songs, had been engaged to preach his funeral +sermon, which he did with a force of eloquence and pathos that literally +brought the tears of those who were acquainted with Val's virtues down +their cheeks--but of none else. He dwelt with particular severity upon +those who had kindled bonfires, and hung his respectable son, "our +esteemed brother, Captain Phil, in effigy; whilst the sacred remains of +that father whom he loved so well, and who so well deserved his +love, and the love of all who had the pleasure and happiness of his +acquaintance, &c, &c, were not yet cold." + +All this, we say, had taken place, and our friend Hartley was seated +quietly at his breakfast one morning, when a gentleman named +Fenton waited upon him, on the part of Lord Cumber. After the usual +salutations, Mr. Fenton opened the business on which he had come. + +"I regret, Mr. Hartley, that there should be any misunderstanding +between you and Lord Cumber." + +"Not more so than I do, Mr. Fenton, I assure you; Lord Cumber, I +presume, has arrived then? But pardon me, have you breakfasted?" + +"Thank you, sir, I have breakfasted. He has arrived, sir, and, requested +me, to wait upon you for an apology. It appears, according to my +instructions, as the lawyers say, that you have charged him with holding +and exercising tyrannical principles as a landlord; now this, you know, +is really a thing that a man like him could not overlook." + +"Of course, Mr. Fenton, he placed our correspondence in your hands." + +"Unquestionably he submitted it to me, previous to my consenting to +act." + +"And may I ask your own opinion, Mr Fenton?" + +"As an extensive landed proprietor, Mr. Hartley, I must say that I agree +with him; I think a landlord has a right to demand every kind of support +from his tenant, and that if the tenant claims the privilege of running +counter to his landlord's interest, then the landlord is justified in +removing the tenant off his property as soon as he can." + +"In that case, then," replied Hartley, "I have no concession to make, +and no apology to offer. I regret this business very much; but Lord +Cumber places me in a position which I cannot leave without dishonor." + +"He also wishes to have an explanation with respect to the circumstances +which induced so many of his corps of yeomanry to enroll their names in +your new troop." + +"I have explained that already, by stating that I never solicited any +of his men to join my troop; they came of their own free will, and I +received them, and certainly will receive as many as come to us under +similar circumstances." + +"Then I suppose you will not cause them to withdraw from your troop, as +Lord Cumber insists on." + +"Insists on! Will he allow neither the tenant nor the yeoman the use of +his free will, Mr. Fenton? I see nothing now remains but to refer you +to my friend, Captain Ormsby, who will assist you in making all the +necessary arrangements; and the sooner this unpleasant matter is +terminated; the better." + +After bidding each other good morning, Mr. Fenton departed to make, as +Hartley termed them, "the necessary arrangements." + +The next morning at day-break, in a paddock about two miles from Castle +Cumber, there stood a very elegant young man, of a high and aristocratic +bearing, accompanied by Mr. Fenton, to whom he appeared to be relating +some pleasant anecdote, if one could judge by the cheerful features of +the narrator, and the laughter of his companion. A carriage stood by a +kind of scalp in the road, which carriage contained a medical man, +who, indeed, was present with great reluctance. In a few minutes a +gig, containing two persons, drove to the same spot at a rapid pace, +a gentleman on horseback accompanying it; these were Mr. Hartley, +his friend, Captain Ormsby, and a medical gentleman, whom he also had +brought on the occasion. + +On meeting the two principals bowed politely, addressing each other in +friendly terms, and were actually advancing to shake hands, when they +mutually checked themselves, and Hartley, smiling, said:-- + +"My Lord, I fear that this is really a foolish business--why, it is +literally fighting a duel upon abstract principles." + +"It is fighting a duel upon a principle, which, either abstract or +not, I will always support. If, however, you wish to avoid a duel, Mr. +Hartley, you have only to withdraw the offensive term you applied to the +principle in question." + +"As soon, my Lord, as you renounce the principle itself." + +"Enough," said Lord Cumber, "gentlemen, please to let us take our +ground." + +Nothing could surpass the coolness, the ease of manner, and fine bearing +of both. The ground was measured at twelve paces, and it was agreed +by the seconds, from principles of humanity, that they should fire by +signal. Indeed, we may say here, that the seconds did everything that +men so circumstanced could do, to prevent the necessity of fighting. +Each, however, was high-minded and courageous, and knowing that his +opponent was remarkable for bravery and success as a duellist, refused +to make any concession. They accordingly took their grounds, resolved to +abide the event. + +Having been placed, the seconds, previous to their agreement as to the +signal to be given, withdrew a little, so as to be completely out of +hearing. While discussing this point, a circumstance occurred worthy of +notice, and, we must say, the high-minded courage which it manifested +ought to have restrained Lord Cumber, as a man of honor, from turning a +pistol against Hartley on the occasion. Both were standing, as we have +said, awaiting the signal to fire, when Hartley said:-- + +"My Lord Cumber a word with you." + +"It is too late, Mr. Hartley," replied that nobleman; "I am on my +ground." + +"It is not an apology, my Lord," replied the other smiling; "but really, +as a man of honor, I cannot fight you as we stand at present: we are not +upon equal terms." + +"Speak to your second, sir," said his opponent. + +"You perceive he happens to be engaged just now," rejoined Hartley; +"but, in fact, the communication can as well be made to your lordship; I +have just observed, my Lord, that the bullet of your pistol has dropped +out, and I believe, if you will take the trouble to look upon the +ground, you will see it at your feet; your second, I presume, has forgot +to put in wadding." + +"Mr. Hartley," replied Lord Cumber, "I always believed you to be a +gentleman, and a man of bravery; I feel it now, and whatever the event +of this meeting may be, I shall render you ample justice. I thank you, +sir, for that act of true courage and honor." At length the bullet was +restored to its place, and the seconds drew aside to give the signal, +which was letting fall a white handkerchief, when each was immediately +to fire. + +How short a span there is between life and eternity! There they stood, +both in high health and strength, full of the world, and the world's +spirit, and yet in how brief a space was one of them to appear before +the judgment-seat of God! + +At length the signal was given, the handkerchief fell, two shots were +heard, one instantly following the other. Hartley having fired, dropped +his pistol hand by his side, whilst Lord Cumber raised his left hand +to his breast, or rather was in the act of raising it, when he fell, +gathered up his knees to his chin, and immediately stretching out +his limbs at full length, was a corpse: thus dying as he did, in the +maintenance of an unjust and tyrannical principle. And so passed away, +by an untimely death, a man who was not destined to be a bad character. +His errors as a man--a private nobleman--we do not canvass any farther +than as they affected his duties as a landlord. His errors as a landlord +were the errors of his time, and represented the principles of his +class. These were contempt for, and neglect of, the condition and +comforts of his tenantry, of the very individuals from whose exertions +and straggles he derived his support. Strange, indeed, it is that men +placed as his lordship was, should forget a principle, which a neglect +of their duties may one day teach them to their cost--that principle is +the equal right of every man to the soil which God has created for all. +The laws of agrarian property are the laws of a class, and it is not too +much to say, that if the rights of this class to legislate for their +own interests were severely investigated, it might appear upon just and +rational principles that the landlord is nothing more nor less than a +pensioner upon popular credulity, and lives upon a fundamental error +in society created by the class to which he belongs. Think of this, +gentlemen, and pay attention to your duties. + +Whilst Lord Cumber, who never communicated a syllable touching the duel +with Hartley to his brother, was engaged in that mortal conflict, as it +unhappily turned out to be, the Honorable Richard Topertoe was engaged +in a far different occupation. On that same morning, in Castle Cumber +church, he had the pleasure of giving away the hand of Mary M'Loughlin +to her lover, Harman, and it was on their return from her father's +house, after having witnessed their subsequent marriage by Father Roche, +that he met his brother's carriage containing his dead body. Richard +Topertoe possessed a mind above an empty title, and, perhaps, there +lived not a man who more sincerely deplored the event which made him +Lord Cumber, and put him in possession of a property which he did not +require. + +Our chronicles draw to a close. The contemplated interview between Mrs. +Lenehan, her brother, and Solomon, never in fact took place. Solomon +fell very seasonably into ill health, and could be seen by nobody, +except his physician, who was nearly as religious as himself, and +besides, a member of his own congregation. In the trust, however, +which the widow placed in Solomon, she was, to use his own language, +abundantly justified, as the event proved. Honest Solomon defrauded her +out of the money, and had the satisfaction of reflecting that he reduced +her and her family to beggary. Breach of trust it appears is a very +slight thing in the eye of the law, and Solomon, encouraged by this +consideration, ruined the unfortunate widow and her orphans. This act +of gross, unprincipled robbery was, however, not unpunished. In about a +month after he had perpetrated it, the following scene occurred in +the Court of King's Bench, in presence of many who will have little +difficulty in bringing it to their recollection. A thin, pale-faced +man, far gone apparently in serious illness, supported on each side by a +religious friend who had not given him up, one of them by the way was +a Scotchman, and a far greater knave and hypocrite than +himself--approached the table, and requested permission to address the +Court, previous to the exercise of its jurisdiction in striking him off +the Roll of Attornies. This permission was granted, and Solomon, for it +was he, spoke briefly as follows:-- + +"My Lord, you see before you a frail sinner, who will soon appear before +a greater and more awful tribunal than yours. I am not here, my Lord, +to defend an act to which I was prompted by--may I be permitted to +say so--by my very virtues. Some men, my Lord, we ruined by excellent +qualities, and some by those which are the reverse. As touching mine, my +Lord, and the principles upon which--but an explanation on this subject +would not become me. Oh, no, my Lord; but your lordship sees these +tears; your lordship sees this weak, feeble, and emaciated frame. +You perceive, in fact, my Lord, that I am scarcely a subject for the +severity of this or any other court. In the meantime, may I be prepared +to meet a greater, a more awful one! May that be granted, my Lord! oh, +may He grant it! I am very feeble, my Lord, but still able to entreat +that your lordship will temper justice with mercy. About a month ago, my +Lord, when I little apprehended the occurrence which--but may His will +be done! My honesty is known, my Lord; it is known there, pointing +up--about a month ago, I say, I had my last child baptized by--I am +ashamed to tell your lordship what name, lest you might imagine that I +done so for the purpose of biasing your judgment in the--No, my Lord, +I will add nothing to the simple fact--I had my last child baptized by +the name of Richard Pennywinkle M'Slime--a circumstance which fills my +heart with sentiments of joy and gratification up to this moment. And I +am not depressed---far from it. This, my Lord, is a trial, and I know, +for I feel, that it is good for me to be tried, inasmuch as it is a +proof that I am cared for THERE!" and he pointed again upwards as he +spoke. + +The judge, who was a kind-hearted and humane man, was melted even unto +tears which he could with difficulty restrain whilst he spoke. + +"Unhappy man," said he, "I have been for several years in the habit of +dispensing law--" + +"Justice, you mean, my Lord," said Solomon; "oh, justice, justice, or +rather mercy, my Lord! little of law have you ever dispensed! Oh, little +of law--but much of justice. May He be praised for it! amen, amen!" + +"Your case, unhappy man, is one which places me in a peculiarly painful +position indeed. The compliment you were good enough to pay me--I mean +that of calling your child after me--makes me feel as if in addressing +you I was--" here he sobbed and wiped his eyes bitterly, and was about +to proceed, when Widow Lenehan's counsel rose up, and said:-- + +"My Lord, it is really too bad that hypocrisy should continue its +impositions even to the last act of the drama. I feel it my duty to +disabuse your lordship in this matter of naming the child after +you. Perhaps the compliment will be considerably diminished, if not +absolutely reversed, when you come to know, my Lord, that the child +which bears your lordship's name--if it does bear it--is an illegitimate +one, and very unworthy, indeed, my Lord of bearing such an honored name +as yours." + +The judge had been shedding tears for Solomon's calamities during this +address, but it is almost unnecessary to say that the change from the +benevolent and pathetic to the indignant was as fine a specimen as ever +was given of the ludicrous. + +"Do you mean to tell me," said the judge, the whole features of his face +in a state of transition that was perfectly irresistible; "do you mean +to tell me that the child which the wretched! man had the insolence to +name after me, was not born in wedlock. + +"My Lord," said Solomon, "this is a subject on which aided by my great +namesake the wisest of--" + +"The decision of the court," continued the judge, "is, that your name be +struck off the list of Attornies who practice here." + +In the course of about six weeks afterwards might be read, in all the +metropolitan papers, the following announcement: "Died of deep +decline in the forty-eighth year of his age, Solomon M'Slime, Esq., +Attorney-at-Law. Indeed we are bound to say, that for the last and +most exemplary portion of his life, he ought rather to have been termed +Attorney-at-Gospel. We are glad to hear, for the sake of his interesting +family, that his life was insured for the sum of two thousand pounds, +which has been paid to them." + +About four months after Solomon's death, an American vessel was lying at +the Pigeon House, waiting for the tide. Several of the passengers were +assembled in Mrs. Thumbstall's tavern--previous to the departure of the +brig--where, as was then usual, they amused themselves by drinking punch +and dancing. Among them was a little thin fellow, dressed in a short +frieze coat, striped waistcoat, corduroy breeches, and stout brogues; +beside him sat a comely, youthful, but somewhat prim female, dressed +as a plain peasant girl. The moment the floor became vacant, the little +frieze-coated fellow got to his legs, accompanied by the female, and +addressed the musician as follows: + +"My good friend, there is--is much cheerfulness in thy music, for +which reason this young person and I will trouble you to play us that +sustaining psalm--I mean that blessed air called the Swaggering Jig, +which is really a consoling planxtic--come, Susanna." + +Good by, Solomon, thou art now gone to that land of true liberty, and +sorry are we to say, that thou has left so many who are so much worse +than thyself behind thee! One of the most virtuous acts of thy life was +the defrauding the Spiritual Railway Assurance office of two thousand +pounds upon the fiction of thy death; which, truth to say, was a very +bitter fiction to them. + +Our chronicles are closed. Need we say that Richard Topertoe, on gaining +the title and estate, became a resident landlord, and is at this +day enjoying a green and happy old age upon one of the best managed +properties in Ireland, where his tenantry are grateful, prosperous, and +happy. Mary M'Loughlin, her husband, and family, lived happily, as they +deserved to live, and some, of them live yet, and will easily recognize +themselves in these pages. + +Of Phil, we must say a word or two. On finding himself the uncontrolled +inheritor of his father's ill-gotten wealth, he accelerated his progress +in drunkenness and profligacy. He took to the turf, became a gambler and +spendthrift, and went backwards in squandering his fortune through as +unprincipled a course as his father pursued in making it. From step to +step he came down until nothing was left. Having no manly principle +to sustain him, he fell from one stage of rascality and meanness to +another, until he succeeded at length in getting himself appointed as +an under turnkey in Castle Cumber Gaol. A whisper has gone abroad, +that upon a critical occasion when the Sheriff, owing to the death of a +certain functionary essential to the discharge of his duty, felt +himself considerably at a loss, he found in one of the under turnkeys a +convenient substitute. + +The living of Castle Cumber, left vacant by the promotion of Mr. Lucre +to a Bishopric, was given to an Englishman, as was then the practice, +and would be now, were it not for the influence of common shame and +public opinion. + +Mr. Clement opened an Academy in Castle Cumber, and succeeded; for he +thought it a wiser thing to live by teaching a school, than to suffer +his large family and himself to starve by the gospel. + +We now beg to close, by a paragraph from the True Blue:-- + +"_Elevation of the Rev. Dr. Lucre to the See of ------_ + +"For many years a duty at once so painful and so delightful, has not +devolved upon us as a public journalist. The elevation of the +Right Rev., Father in God,, Phineas Lucre to the See of ------, is a +dispensation to our Irish Establishment which argues the beneficent +hand of a wise and overruling Providence. In him we may well say, that +another bright and lustrous star is added to that dark, but beautiful +galaxy, in the nether heavens above us, which is composed of our blessed +Bishops. The diocese over which he has been called by the Holy Spirit +to preside, will know, as they ought, how to appreciate his learning and +attainments. But what shall we say of the poor of Castle Cumber, to whom +he has been such a kind, meek, charitable, and consoling dispenser +of God's gifts and God's word? At the bed of death, of disease, of +poverty--at every post, no matter how poor, low, neglected, or how +dangerous--there was he to be found, the champion of God--fighting his +battles in peace, self-denial, and charity. It is true, he is not an +Irishman; but is it not a blessed thing that such links of love as he, +and of those who resemble him, should continue to bind the virtues +of the two churches, and the two countries together? His Lordship was +consecrated on last Sunday, by that Right Rev. and blessedly facetious +prelate, Archbishop Drapely, who, in addition to his other evangelical +gifts, is said to be a perfect Toler in canonicals. It is not often that +so much piety proceeds from so comic a source." + +Our readers can scarcely forget the circumstances of Mr. Lucre's +departure out of this wicked, ungodly, and sensual world. About eight +years ago, or less, he died in a very pious fit of apoplectic passion, +brought on by his cook, in consequence of that important functionary +having neglected the apostolic duty of dressing a haunch of venison, we +presume, upon scriptural authority. We regret to say, for the sake of +the Church, and the loss which she sustained in consequence, that the +haunch in question was considerably overdone--a fact which one would +scarcely imagine could have produced such important results upon the +religion of the country as it did by his death. + +With respect to Counsellor Browbeater, we have only to say, that the +government of that period, having got out of him all the dirty work of +which he was capable, felt extremely anxious to get rid of him as easily +and safely as they could. Browbeater, however, who was a most insatiable +leech, stuck to them, knowing that they could not well discharge him +without a character. He was made a master in chancery, and had the honor +of succeeding old Tom Silver, a lawyer, a gentleman, an orator, and a +man of honor and integrity! And only think of Browbeater succeeding such +an office, as excellent, respected, and admirable Tom Silver left behind +him! + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent +by William Carleton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY *** + +***** This file should be named 16009.txt or 16009.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/0/16009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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