diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | old/1439-0.txt | 2864 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/1439-0.zip | bin | 45036 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/1439-h.zip | bin | 47833 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/1439-h/1439-h.htm | 3597 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/1439.txt | 2863 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/1439.zip | bin | 44784 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/old-2025-02-01/1439-0.txt | 2477 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/old-2025-02-01/1439-h/1439-h.htm | 3196 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/old/drmos10.txt | 2681 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/old/drmos10.zip | bin | 42763 -> 0 bytes |
10 files changed, 0 insertions, 17678 deletions
diff --git a/old/1439-0.txt b/old/1439-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 9331a63..0000000 --- a/old/1439-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2864 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Dreams - -Author: Olive Schreiner - -Posting Date: August 16, 2008 [EBook #1439] -Release Date: August, 1998 -Last Updated: October 12, 2016 - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DREAMS *** - - - - -Produced by Sue Asscher - - - - - -DREAMS - -By Olive Schreiner - - - To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of - that which for us is yet sight, not touch. - - - Note. - - These Dreams are printed in the order in which they were - written. - - In the case of two there was a lapse of some years between - the writing of the first and last parts; these are placed - according to the date of the first part. - - Olive Schreiner. - - - Matjesfontein, - Cape Colony, - South Africa. - November, 1890. - - - - -CONTENTS. - - I. The Lost Joy. - - II. The Hunter (From “The Story of of an African Farm”). - - III. The Gardens of Pleasure. - - IV. In a Far-off World. - - V. Three Dreams in a Desert. - - VI. A Dream of Wild Bees (Written as a letter to a friend). - - VII. In a Ruined Chapel. - - VIII. Life’s Gifts. - - IX. The Artist’s Secret. - - X. “I Thought I Stood.” - - XI. The Sunlight Lay across My Bed. - - - - - -I. THE LOST JOY. - -All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat. - -All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face -looked out across the water. She was waiting--she was waiting; but she -could not tell for what. - -All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the -pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her -eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee -and fell asleep, waiting still. - -Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore--Life -awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed -through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of -Love--and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting. - -And Love drew Life up to him. - -And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful--Joy, First-Joy -was it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water is not -so glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun’s -first kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was -so warm, so soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the -sunshine: and Love and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it -to the other, but deep in its own heart each said, “It shall be ours for -ever.” - -Then there came a time--was it after weeks? was it after months? (Love -and Life do not measure time)--when the thing was not as it had been. - -Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with -purple berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the -little eyes looked out heavily across the water. - -And Life and Love dared not look into each other’s eyes, dared not say, -“What ails our darling?” Each heart whispered to itself, “It is nothing, -it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear.” But tomorrow and -tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but -heavily, more heavily. - -One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it -was gone: only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with -wide-open eyes, very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked -apart, weeping bitterly, “Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no -more for ever?” - -The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of -each, and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between -them. And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected -in its soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, “I am weary, -I am weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark -is all before,” a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon -the hill-sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always -the little brave mouth was smiling quietly. - -When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his -garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the -desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over -the hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert -found water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love’s lips with. He -was no burden--he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on -their journey. - -When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the -rocks--for Love and Life must pass through strange drear places--there, -where all is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands -and held them against his beating little heart, and warmed them--and -softly he drew them on and on. - -And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers, -strangely the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face. -Brightly laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the -hollow tree; and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them -water in the leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them -round their heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as -their Joy had touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly. - -So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with -that little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered -that first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, “Oh! could we but -find him also!” - -At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who -has always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who -steals light out of the past to shed it on the future. - -And Life and Love cried out, “O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a -lovely radiant thing belonged to us--gladness without a tear, sunshine -without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall we go -that we may find it?” - -And she, the wise old woman, answered, “To have it back, will you give -up that which walks beside you now?” - -And in agony Love and Life cried, “No!” - -“Give up this!” said Life. “When the thorns have pierced me, who will -suck the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands -upon it and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm -my freezing heart?” - -And Love cried out, “Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without -this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!” - -And the wise old woman answered, “O fools and blind! What you once had -is that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant -thing is born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when -the shades begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold -and long--then it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL -not know it--till one day they start up suddenly, crying, ‘O God! O God! -we have lost it! Where is it?’ They do not understand that they could -not carry the laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost, -and the snow. They do not know that what walks beside them still is the -Joy grown older. The grave, sweet, tender thing--warm in the coldest -snows, brave in the dreariest deserts--its name is Sympathy; it is the -Perfect Love.” - -South Africa. - - - - -II. THE HUNTER. - -In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for -wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores -of a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming -of the birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a -reflection. He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a -burning desire came over him to see once again that reflection in the -water, and all day he watched and waited; but night came and it had not -returned. Then he went home with his empty bag, moody and silent. His -comrades came questioning about him to know the reason, but he answered -them nothing; he sat alone and brooded. Then his friend came to him, and -to him he spoke. - -“I have seen today,” he said, “that which I never saw before--a vast -white bird, with silver wings outstretched, sailing in the everlasting -blue. And now it is as though a great fire burnt within my breast. It -was but a sheen, a shimmer, a reflection in the water; but now I desire -nothing more on earth than to hold her.” - -His friend laughed. - -“It was but a beam playing on the water, or the shadow of your own head. -Tomorrow you will forget her,” he said. - -But tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow the hunter walked alone. -He sought in the forest and in the woods, by the lakes and among the -rushes, but he could not find her. He shot no more wild fowl; what were -they to him? - -“What ails him?” said his comrades. - -“He is mad,” said one. - -“No; but he is worse,” said another; “he would see that which none of us -have seen, and make himself a wonder.” - -“Come, let us forswear his company,” said all. - -So the hunter walked alone. - -One night, as he wandered in the shade, very heartsore and weeping, an -old man stood before him, grander and taller than the sons of men. - -“Who are you?” asked the hunter. - -“I am Wisdom,” answered the old man; “but some men call me Knowledge. -All my life I have grown in these valleys; but no man sees me till he -has sorrowed much. The eyes must be washed with tears that are to behold -me; and, according as a man has suffered, I speak.” - -And the hunter cried: - -“Oh, you who have lived here so long, tell me, what is that great wild -bird I have seen sailing in the blue? They would have me believe she is -a dream; the shadow of my own head.” - -The old man smiled. - -“Her name is Truth. He who has once seen her never rests again. Till -death he desires her.” - -And the hunter cried: - -“Oh, tell me where I may find her.” - -But the old man said: - -“You have not suffered enough,” and went. - -Then the hunter took from his breast the shuttle of Imagination, and -wound on it the thread of his Wishes; and all night he sat and wove a -net. - -In the morning he spread the golden net upon the ground, and into it -he threw a few grains of credulity, which his father had left him, and -which he kept in his breast-pocket. They were like white puff-balls, and -when you trod on them a brown dust flew out. Then he sat by to see what -would happen. The first that came into the net was a snow-white -bird, with dove’s eyes, and he sang a beautiful song--“A human-God! a -human-God! a human-God!” it sang. The second that came was black and -mystical, with dark, lovely eyes, that looked into the depths of your -soul, and he sang only this--“Immortality!” - -And the hunter took them both in his arms, for he said-- - -“They are surely of the beautiful family of Truth.” - -Then came another, green and gold, who sang in a shrill voice, like one -crying in the marketplace,--“Reward after Death! Reward after Death!” - -And he said-- - -“You are not so fair; but you are fair too,” and he took it. - -And others came, brightly coloured, singing pleasant songs, till all the -grains were finished. And the hunter gathered all his birds together, -and built a strong iron cage called a new creed, and put all his birds -in it. - -Then the people came about dancing and singing. - -“Oh, happy hunter!” they cried. “Oh, wonderful man! Oh, delightful -birds! Oh, lovely songs!” - -No one asked where the birds had come from, nor how they had been -caught; but they danced and sang before them. And the hunter too was -glad, for he said: - -“Surely Truth is among them. In time she will moult her feathers, and I -shall see her snow-white form.” - -But the time passed, and the people sang and danced; but the hunter’s -heart grew heavy. He crept alone, as of old, to weep; the terrible -desire had awakened again in his breast. One day, as he sat alone -weeping, it chanced that Wisdom met him. He told the old man what he had -done. - -And Wisdom smiled sadly. - -“Many men,” he said, “have spread that net for Truth; but they have -never found her. On the grains of credulity she will not feed; in the -net of wishes her feet cannot be held; in the air of these valleys she -will not breathe. The birds you have caught are of the brood of Lies. -Lovely and beautiful, but still lies; Truth knows them not.” - -And the hunter cried out in bitterness-- - -“And must I then sit still, to be devoured of this great burning?” - -And the old man said, - -“Listen, and in that you have suffered much and wept much, I will tell -you what I know. He who sets out to search for Truth must leave these -valleys of superstition forever, taking with him not one shred that has -belonged to them. Alone he must wander down into the Land of Absolute -Negation and Denial; he must abide there; he must resist temptation; -when the light breaks he must arise and follow it into the country of -dry sunshine. The mountains of stern reality will rise before him; he -must climb them; beyond them lies Truth.” - -“And he will hold her fast! he will hold her in his hands!” the hunter -cried. - -Wisdom shook his head. - -“He will never see her, never hold her. The time is not yet.” - -“Then there is no hope?” cried the hunter. - -“There is this,” said Wisdom: “Some men have climbed on those mountains; -circle above circle of bare rock they have scaled; and, wandering there, -in those high regions, some have chanced to pick up on the ground one -white silver feather, dropped from the wing of Truth. And it shall come -to pass,” said the old man, raising himself prophetically and pointing -with his finger to the sky, “it shall come to pass, that when enough of -those silver feathers shall have been gathered by the hands of men, and -shall have been woven into a cord, and the cord into a net, that in that -net Truth may be captured. Nothing but Truth can hold Truth.” - -The hunter arose. “I will go,” he said. - -But wisdom detained him. - -“Mark you well--who leaves these valleys never returns to them. Though -he should weep tears of blood seven days and nights upon the confines, -he can never put his foot across them. Left--they are left forever. Upon -the road which you would travel there is no reward offered. Who goes, -goes freely--for the great love that is in him. The work is his reward.” - -“I go” said the hunter; “but upon the mountains, tell me, which path -shall I take?” - -“I am the child of The-Accumulated-Knowledge-of-Ages,” said the man; “I -can walk only where many men have trodden. On these mountains few feet -have passed; each man strikes out a path for himself. He goes at his own -peril: my voice he hears no more. I may follow after him, but cannot go -before him.” - -Then Knowledge vanished. - -And the hunter turned. He went to his cage, and with his hands broke -down the bars, and the jagged iron tore his flesh. It is sometimes -easier to build than to break. - -One by one he took his plumed birds and let them fly. But when he came -to his dark-plumed bird he held it, and looked into its beautiful eyes, -and the bird uttered its low, deep cry--“Immortality!” - -And he said quickly: “I cannot part with it. It is not heavy; it eats -no food. I will hide it in my breast; I will take it with me.” And he -buried it there and covered it over with his cloak. - -But the thing he had hidden grew heavier, heavier, heavier--till it lay -on his breast like lead. He could not move with it. He could not leave -those valleys with it. Then again he took it out and looked at it. - -“Oh, my beautiful! my heart’s own!” he cried, “may I not keep you?” - -He opened his hands sadly. - -“Go!” he said. “It may happen that in Truth’s song one note is like -yours; but I shall never hear it.” - -Sadly he opened his hand, and the bird flew from him forever. - -Then from the shuttle of Imagination he took the thread of his wishes, -and threw it on the ground; and the empty shuttle he put into his -breast, for the thread was made in those valleys, but the shuttle came -from an unknown country. He turned to go, but now the people came about -him, howling. - -“Fool, hound, demented lunatic!” they cried. “How dared you break your -cage and let the birds fly?” - -The hunter spoke; but they would not hear him. - -“Truth! who is she? Can you eat her? can you drink her? Who has ever -seen her? Your birds were real: all could hear them sing! Oh, fool! vile -reptile! atheist!” they cried, “you pollute the air.” - -“Come, let us take up stones and stone him,” cried some. - -“What affair is it of ours?” said others. “Let the idiot go,” and went -away. But the rest gathered up stones and mud and threw at him. At last, -when he was bruised and cut, the hunter crept away into the woods. And -it was evening about him. - -He wandered on and on, and the shade grew deeper. He was on the borders -now of the land where it is always night. Then he stepped into it, and -there was no light there. With his hands he groped; but each branch -as he touched it broke off, and the earth was covered with cinders. At -every step his foot sank in, and a fine cloud of impalpable ashes flew -up into his face; and it was dark. So he sat down upon a stone and -buried his face in his hands, to wait in the Land of Negation and Denial -till the light came. - -And it was night in his heart also. - -Then from the marshes to his right and left cold mists arose and closed -about him. A fine, imperceptible rain fell in the dark, and great drops -gathered on his hair and clothes. His heart beat slowly, and a numbness -crept through all his limbs. Then, looking up, two merry wisp lights -came dancing. He lifted his head to look at them. Nearer, nearer they -came. So warm, so bright, they danced like stars of fire. They stood -before him at last. From the centre of the radiating flame in one looked -out a woman’s face, laughing, dimpled, with streaming yellow hair. In -the centre of the other were merry laughing ripples, like the bubbles on -a glass of wine. They danced before him. - -“Who are you,” asked the hunter, “who alone come to me in my solitude -and darkness?” - -“We are the twins Sensuality,” they cried. “Our father’s name is -Human-Nature, and our mother’s name is Excess. We are as old as the -hills and rivers, as old as the first man; but we never die,” they -laughed. - -“Oh, let me wrap my arms about you!” cried the first; “they are soft -and warm. Your heart is frozen now, but I will make it beat. Oh, come to -me!” - -“I will pour my hot life into you,” said the second; “your brain is -numb, and your limbs are dead now; but they shall live with a fierce -free life. Oh, let me pour it in!” - -“Oh, follow us,” they cried, “and live with us. Nobler hearts than yours -have sat here in this darkness to wait, and they have come to us and we -to them; and they have never left us, never. All else is a delusion, but -we are real, we are real, we are real. Truth is a shadow; the valleys of -superstition are a farce: the earth is of ashes, the trees all rotten; -but we--feel us--we live! You cannot doubt us. Feel us how warm we are! -Oh, come to us! Come with us!” - -Nearer and nearer round his head they hovered, and the cold drops melted -on his forehead. The bright light shot into his eyes, dazzling him, and -the frozen blood began to run. And he said: - -“Yes, why should I die here in this awful darkness? They are warm, they -melt my frozen blood!” and he stretched out his hands to take them. - -Then in a moment there arose before him the image of the thing he had -loved, and his hand dropped to his side. - -“Oh, come to us!” they cried. - -But he buried his face. - -“You dazzle my eyes,” he cried, “you make my heart warm; but you cannot -give me what I desire. I will wait here--wait till I die. Go!” - -He covered his face with his hands and would not listen; and when he -looked up again they were two twinkling stars, that vanished in the -distance. - -And the long, long night rolled on. - -All who leave the valley of superstition pass through that dark land; -but some go through it in a few days, some linger there for months, some -for years, and some die there. - -At last for the hunter a faint light played along the horizon, and he -rose to follow it; and he reached that light at last, and stepped into -the broad sunshine. Then before him rose the almighty mountains of -Dry-facts and Realities. The clear sunshine played on them, and the tops -were lost in the clouds. At the foot many paths ran up. An exultant cry -burst from the hunter. He chose the straightest and began to climb; -and the rocks and ridges resounded with his song. They had exaggerated; -after all, it was not so high, nor was the road so steep! A few days, a -few weeks, a few months at most, and then the top! Not one feather only -would he pick up; he would gather all that other men had found--weave -the net--capture Truth--hold her fast--touch her with his hands--clasp -her! - -He laughed in the merry sunshine, and sang loud. Victory was very near. -Nevertheless, after a while the path grew steeper. He needed all his -breath for climbing, and the singing died away. On the right and left -rose huge rocks, devoid of lichen or moss, and in the lava-like earth -chasms yawned. Here and there he saw a sheen of white bones. Now too the -path began to grow less and less marked; then it became a mere trace, -with a footmark here and there; then it ceased altogether. He sang no -more, but struck forth a path for himself, until it reached a mighty -wall of rock, smooth and without break, stretching as far as the eye -could see. “I will rear a stair against it; and, once this wall climbed, -I shall be almost there,” he said bravely; and worked. With his shuttle -of imagination he dug out stones; but half of them would not fit, and -half a month’s work would roll down because those below were ill chosen. -But the hunter worked on, saying always to himself, “Once this wall -climbed, I shall be almost there. This great work ended!” - -At last he came out upon the top, and he looked about him. Far below -rolled the white mist over the valleys of superstition, and above him -towered the mountains. They had seemed low before; they were of an -immeasurable height now, from crown to foundation surrounded by walls of -rock, that rose tier above tier in mighty circles. Upon them played -the eternal sunshine. He uttered a wild cry. He bowed himself on to -the earth, and when he rose his face was white. In absolute silence he -walked on. He was very silent now. In those high regions the rarefied -air is hard to breathe by those born in the valleys; every breath he -drew hurt him, and the blood oozed out from the tips of his fingers. -Before the next wall of rock he began to work. The height of this seemed -infinite, and he said nothing. The sound of his tool rang night and day -upon the iron rocks into which he cut steps. Years passed over him, -yet he worked on; but the wall towered up always above him to heaven. -Sometimes he prayed that a little moss or lichen might spring up on -those bare walls to be a companion to him; but it never came. - -And the years rolled on; he counted them by the steps he had cut--a few -for a year--only a few. He sang no more; he said no more, “I will do -this or that”--he only worked. And at night, when the twilight settled -down, there looked out at him from the holes and crevices in the rocks -strange wild faces. - -“Stop your work, you lonely man, and speak to us,” they cried. - -“My salvation is in work, if I should stop but for one moment you would -creep down upon me,” he replied. And they put out their long necks -further. - -“Look down into the crevice at your feet,” they said. “See what lie -there--white bones! As brave and strong a man as you climbed to these -rocks.” And he looked up. He saw there was no use in striving; he would -never hold Truth, never see her, never find her. So he lay down here, -for he was very tired. He went to sleep forever. He put himself to -sleep. Sleep is very tranquil. You are not lonely when you are asleep, -neither do your hands ache, nor your heart. And the hunter laughed -between his teeth. - -“Have I torn from my heart all that was dearest; have I wandered alone -in the land of night; have I resisted temptation; have I dwelt where the -voice of my kind is never heard, and laboured alone, to lie down and be -food for you, ye harpies?” - -He laughed fiercely; and the Echoes of Despair slunk away, for the laugh -of a brave, strong heart is as a death blow to them. - -Nevertheless they crept out again and looked at him. - -“Do you know that your hair is white?” they said, “that your hands begin -to tremble like a child’s? Do you see that the point of your shuttle is -gone?--it is cracked already. If you should ever climb this stair,” they -said, “it will be your last. You will never climb another.” - -And he answered, “I know it!” and worked on. - -The old, thin hands cut the stones ill and jaggedly, for the fingers -were stiff and bent. The beauty and the strength of the man was gone. - -At last, an old, wizened, shrunken face looked out above the rocks. It -saw the eternal mountains rise with walls to the white clouds; but its -work was done. - -The old hunter folded his tired hands and lay down by the precipice -where he had worked away his life. It was the sleeping time at last. -Below him over the valleys rolled the thick white mist. Once it broke; -and through the gap the dying eyes looked down on the trees and fields -of their childhood. From afar seemed borne to him the cry of his own -wild birds, and he heard the noise of people singing as they danced. And -he thought he heard among them the voices of his old comrades; and -he saw far off the sunlight shine on his early home. And great tears -gathered in the hunter’s eyes. - -“Ah! they who die there do not die alone,” he cried. - -Then the mists rolled together again; and he turned his eyes away. - -“I have sought,” he said, “for long years I have laboured; but I have -not found her. I have not rested, I have not repined, and I have not -seen her; now my strength is gone. Where I lie down worn out other men -will stand, young and fresh. By the steps that I have cut they will -climb; by the stairs that I have built they will mount. They will never -know the name of the man who made them. At the clumsy work they will -laugh; when the stones roll they will curse me. But they will mount, and -on my work; they will climb, and by my stair! They will find her, and -through me! And no man liveth to himself and no man dieth to himself.” - -The tears rolled from beneath the shrivelled eyelids. If Truth had -appeared above him in the clouds now he could not have seen her, the -mist of death was in his eyes. - -“My soul hears their glad step coming,” he said; “and they shall mount! -they shall mount!” He raised his shrivelled hand to his eyes. - -Then slowly from the white sky above, through the still air, came -something falling, falling, falling. Softly it fluttered down, and -dropped on to the breast of the dying man. He felt it with his hands. It -was a feather. He died holding it. - - - - -III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. - -She walked upon the beds, and the sweet rich scent arose; and she -gathered her hands full of flowers. Then Duty, with his white clear -features, came and looked at her. Then she ceased from gathering, but -she walked away among the flowers, smiling, and with her hands full. - -Then Duty, with his still white face, came again, and looked at her; but -she, she turned her head away from him. At last she saw his face, and -she dropped the fairest of the flowers she had held, and walked silently -away. - -Then again he came to her. And she moaned, and bent her head low, and -turned to the gate. But as she went out she looked back at the sunlight -on the faces of the flowers, and wept in anguish. Then she went out, and -it shut behind her for ever; but still in her hand she held of the buds -she had gathered, and the scent was very sweet in the lonely desert. - -But he followed her. Once more he stood before her with his still, -white, death-like face. And she knew what he had come for: she unbent -the fingers, and let the flowers drop out, the flowers she had loved -so, and walked on without them, with dry, aching eyes. Then for the last -time he came. And she showed him her empty hands, the hands that held -nothing now. But still he looked. Then at length she opened her bosom -and took out of it one small flower she had hidden there, and laid it on -the sand. She had nothing more to give now, and she wandered away, and -the grey sand whirled about her. - - - - -IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. - -There is a world in one of the far-off stars, and things do not happen -here as they happen there. - -In that world were a man and woman; they had one work, and they walked -together side by side on many days, and were friends--and that is a -thing that happens now and then in this world also. - -But there was something in that star-world that there is not here. -There was a thick wood: where the trees grew closest, and the stems were -interlocked, and the summer sun never shone, there stood a shrine. In -the day all was quiet, but at night, when the stars shone or the moon -glinted on the tree-tops, and all was quiet below, if one crept here -quite alone and knelt on the steps of the stone altar, and uncovering -one’s breast, so wounded it that the blood fell down on the altar steps, -then whatever he who knelt there wished for was granted him. And all -this happens, as I said, because it is a far-off world, and things often -happen there as they do not happen here. - -Now, the man and woman walked together; and the woman wished well to the -man. One night when the moon was shining so that the leaves of all the -trees glinted, and the waves of the sea were silvery, the woman walked -alone to the forest. It was dark there; the moonlight fell only in -little flecks on the dead leaves under her feet, and the branches were -knotted tight overhead. Farther in it got darker, not even a fleck of -moonlight shone. Then she came to the shrine; she knelt down before it -and prayed; there came no answer. Then she uncovered her breast; with a -sharp two-edged stone that lay there she wounded it. The drops dripped -slowly down on to the stone, and a voice cried, “What do you seek?” - -She answered, “There is a man; I hold him nearer than anything. I would -give him the best of all blessings.” - -The voice said, “What is it?” - -The girl said, “I know not, but that which is most good for him I wish -him to have.” - -The voice said, “Your prayer is answered; he shall have it.” - -Then she stood up. She covered her breast and held the garment tight -upon it with her hand, and ran out of the forest, and the dead leaves -fluttered under her feet. Out in the moonlight the soft air was blowing, -and the sand glittered on the beach. She ran along the smooth shore, -then suddenly she stood still. Out across the water there was something -moving. She shaded her eyes and looked. It was a boat; it was sliding -swiftly over the moonlit water out to sea. One stood upright in it; the -face the moonlight did not show, but the figure she knew. It was passing -swiftly; it seemed as if no one propelled it; the moonlight’s shimmer -did not let her see clearly, and the boat was far from shore, but it -seemed almost as if there was another figure sitting in the stern. -Faster and faster it glided over the water away, away. She ran along the -shore; she came no nearer it. The garment she had held closed fluttered -open; she stretched out her arms, and the moonlight shone on her long -loose hair. - -Then a voice beside her whispered, “What is it?” - -She cried, “With my blood I bought the best of all gifts for him. I have -come to bring it him! He is going from me!” - -The voice whispered softly, “Your prayer was answered. It has been given -him.” - -She cried, “What is it?” - -The voice answered, “It is that he might leave you.” - -The girl stood still. - -Far out at sea the boat was lost to sight beyond the moonlight sheen. - -The voice spoke softly, “Art thou contented?” - -She said, “I am contented.” - -At her feet the waves broke in long ripples softly on the shore. - - - - -V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. - -Under a Mimosa-Tree. - -As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then I -drew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him and -left him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to left -stretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the -heat beat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And -after a while a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down -against my saddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a -curious dream. - -I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew -about everywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of -burden of the desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched -out, and one stood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay -upon the ground, for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was -thick about it, so that it seemed to have piled over it for centuries. - -And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me -watching. And I said to him, “What is this huge creature who lies here -on the sand?” - -And he said, “This is woman; she that bears men in her body.” - -And I said, “Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled round -her?” - -And he answered, “Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has -lain here, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest -man living has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that -she lay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But -listen! Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded -memory of man, on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of -Ancient Customs, now crumbling to decay, are found the marks of her -footsteps! Side by side with his who stands beside her you may trace -them; and you know that she who now lies there once wandered free over -the rocks with him.” - -And I said, “Why does she lie there now?” - -And he said, “I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-force -found her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her -back was broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it -on with the broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the -earth and the sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down -on the sand with the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has -lain here. And the ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band -of Inevitable Necessity has not been cut.” - -And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries; -the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand. - -And I said, “Has she ever tried to move?” - -And he said, “Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knows -she cannot rise with the burden on her.” - -And I said, “Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?” - -And he said, “He cannot. Look--” - -And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, -and it bound them together. - -He said, “While she lies there he must stand and look across the -desert.” - -And I said, “Does he know why he cannot move?” - -And he said, “No.” - -And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the -band that bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden -rolled on to the ground. - -And I said, “What is this?” - -And he said, “The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The -Age-of-nervous-force has killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; -and silently and invisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that -knife of Mechanical Invention he has cut the band that bound the burden -to her back. The Inevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now.” - -And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open -and her neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the -far-off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were -awake or asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came -into her eyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room. - -I said, “What is it?” - -He whispered “Hush! the thought has come to her, ‘Might I not rise?’” - -And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dent -where her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and she -looked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he looked -out across the desert. - -And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth, -and veins stood out; and I cried; “She is going to rise!” - -But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was. - -But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside -me said, “She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her so -long.” - -And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her. - -And I said, “Surely he who stands beside her will help her?” - -And he beside me answered, “He cannot help her: she must help herself. -Let her struggle till she is strong.” - -And I cried, “At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther -from her, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down.” - -And he answered, “He does not understand. When she moves she draws the -band that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. The -day will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing. -Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close to -her, and look into her eyes with sympathy.” - -And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the -creature rose an inch from the earth and sank back. - -And I cried, “Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years have -taken all her strength from her. Can she never move?” - -And he answered me, “See the light in her eyes!” - -And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees. - -And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barren -earth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the red -sand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches -of the tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused -over the dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my -saddle. And in the fierce heat I had another dream. - -I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the -bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of -an African river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deep -shifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn -its gigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white -beard; and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written -Reason. And he asked her what she wanted; and she said “I am woman; and -I am seeking for the land of Freedom.” - -And he said, “It is before you.” - -And she said, “I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and -a bank steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in -them.” - -And he said, “And beyond that?” - -She said, “I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my -hand, I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun -shining on them!” - -He said, “That is the Land of Freedom.” - -She said, “How am I to get there?” - -He said, “There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour, -through the water of Suffering. There is no other.” - -She said, “Is there no bridge?” - -He answered. “None.” - -She said, “Is the water deep?” - -He said, “Deep.” - -She said, “Is the floor worn?” - -He said, “It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost.” - -She said, “Have any crossed already?” - -He said, “Some have tried!” - -She said, “Is there a track to show where the best fording is?” - -He said, “It has to be made.” - -She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, “I will go.” - -And he said, “You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they -are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed.” - -And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions -she wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from -her waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it -in a cloud. And he said, “Take the shoes of dependence off your feet.” - -And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to -her. - -And he said, “That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land of -Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims.” - -And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had -not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said, -“Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand -you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot -find a bottom do not set your foot.” - -And she said, “I am ready; let me go.” - -And he said, “No--but stay; what is that--in your breast?” - -She was silent. - -He said, “Open it, and let me see.” - -And she opened it. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drank -from it, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; -and his knees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast with his -hands. - -And Reason said, “Who is he, and what is he doing here?” - -And she said, “See his little wings--” - -And Reason said, “Put him down.” - -And she said, “He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to the -Land of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried -him. In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together -there, and his great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one -word only to me in the desert--‘Passion!’ I have dreamed he might learn -to say ‘Friendship’ in that land.” - -And Reason said, “Put him down!” - -And she said, “I will carry him so--with one arm, and with the other I -will fight the water.” - -He said, “Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you will -forget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down.” He said, -“He will not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his -wings and fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who -reach the Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the -bank to help them shall be Love’s. He will be a man then, not a child. -In your breast he cannot thrive; put him down that he may grow.” - -And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her, so that the blood -ran down on to the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; and she -covered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the -hair on her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from -youth to age. - -And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, “For what -do I go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! -I am utterly alone!” - -And Reason, that old man, said to her, “Silence! What do you hear?” - -And she listened intently, and she said, “I hear a sound of feet, a -thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat -this way!” - -He said, “They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! -make a track to the water’s edge! Where you stand now, the ground will -be beaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet.” And he said, -“Have you seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down -to the water-edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and -then another, and then another, and at last with their bodies piled up a -bridge is built and the rest pass over.” - -She said, “And, of those that come first, some are swept away, and are -heard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?” - -“And are swept away, and are heard of no more--and what of that?” he -said. - -“And what of that--” she said. - -“They make a track to the water’s edge.” - -“They make a track to the water’s edge--.” And she said, “Over that -bridge which shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?” - -He said, “The entire human race.” - -And the woman grasped her staff. - -And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river. - -And I awoke; and all about me was the yellow afternoon light: the -sinking sun lit up the fingers of the milk bushes; and my horse stood by -me quietly feeding. And I turned on my side, and I watched the ants run -by thousands in the red sand. I thought I would go on my way now--the -afternoon was cooler. Then a drowsiness crept over me again, and I laid -back my head and fell asleep. - -And I dreamed a dream. - -I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave -men, hand in hand. And they looked into each other’s eyes, and they were -not afraid. - -And I saw the women also hold each other’s hands. - -And I said to him beside me, “What place is this?” - -And he said, “This is heaven.” - -And I said, “Where is it?” - -And he answered, “On earth.” - -And I said, “When shall these things be?” - -And he answered, “IN THE FUTURE.” - -And I awoke, and all about me was the sunset light; and on the low hills -the sun lay, and a delicious coolness had crept over everything; and the -ants were going slowly home. And I walked towards my horse, who stood -quietly feeding. Then the sun passed down behind the hills; but I knew -that the next day he would arise again. - - - - -VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. - -A mother sat alone at an open window. Through it came the voices of the -children as they played under the acacia-trees, and the breath of the -hot afternoon air. In and out of the room flew the bees, the wild bees, -with their legs yellow with pollen, going to and from the acacia-trees, -droning all the while. She sat on a low chair before the table and -darned. She took her work from the great basket that stood before her -on the table: some lay on her knee and half covered the book that rested -there. She watched the needle go in and out; and the dreary hum of the -bees and the noise of the children’s voices became a confused murmur -in her ears, as she worked slowly and more slowly. Then the bees, the -long-legged wasp-like fellows who make no honey, flew closer and closer -to her head, droning. Then she grew more and more drowsy, and she laid -her hand, with the stocking over it, on the edge of the table, and -leaned her head upon it. And the voices of the children outside grew -more and more dreamy, came now far, now near; then she did not hear -them, but she felt under her heart where the ninth child lay. Bent -forward and sleeping there, with the bees flying about her head, she had -a weird brain-picture; she thought the bees lengthened and lengthened -themselves out and became human creatures and moved round and round her. -Then one came to her softly, saying, “Let me lay my hand upon thy side -where the child sleeps. If I shall touch him he shall be as I.” - -She asked, “Who are you?” - -And he said, “I am Health. Whom I touch will have always the red blood -dancing in his veins; he will not know weariness nor pain; life will be -a long laugh to him.” - -“No,” said another, “let me touch; for I am Wealth. If I touch him -material care shall not feed on him. He shall live on the blood and -sinews of his fellow-men, if he will; and what his eye lusts for, his -hand will have. He shall not know ‘I want.’” And the child lay still -like lead. - -And another said, “Let me touch him: I am Fame. The man I touch, I -lead to a high hill where all men may see him. When he dies he is not -forgotten, his name rings down the centuries, each echoes it on to his -fellows. Think--not to be forgotten through the ages!” - -And the mother lay breathing steadily, but in the brain-picture they -pressed closer to her. - -“Let me touch the child,” said one, “for I am Love. If I touch him he -shall not walk through life alone. In the greatest dark, when he puts -out his hand he shall find another hand by it. When the world is against -him, another shall say, ‘You and I.’” And the child trembled. - -But another pressed close and said, “Let me touch; for I am Talent. I -can do all things--that have been done before. I touch the soldier, the -statesman, the thinker, and the politician who succeed; and the writer -who is never before his time, and never behind it. If I touch the child -he shall not weep for failure.” - -About the mother’s head the bees were flying, touching her with their -long tapering limbs; and, in her brain-picture, out of the shadow of -the room came one with sallow face, deep-lined, the cheeks drawn into -hollows, and a mouth smiling quiveringly. He stretched out his hand. And -the mother drew back, and cried, “Who are you?” He answered nothing; and -she looked up between his eyelids. And she said, “What can you give the -child--health?” And he said, “The man I touch, there wakes up in his -blood a burning fever, that shall lick his blood as fire. The fever that -I will give him shall be cured when his life is cured.” - -“You give wealth?” - -He shook his head. “The man whom I touch, when he bends to pick up gold, -he sees suddenly a light over his head in the sky; while he looks up to -see it, the gold slips from between his fingers, or sometimes another -passing takes it from them.” - -“Fame?” - -He answered, “likely not. For the man I touch there is a path traced -out in the sand by a finger which no man sees. That he must follow. -Sometimes it leads almost to the top, and then turns down suddenly into -the valley. He must follow it, though none else sees the tracing.” - -“Love?” - -He said, “He shall hunger for it--but he shall not find it. When he -stretches out his arms to it, and would lay his heart against a thing -he loves, then, far off along the horizon he shall see a light play. -He must go towards it. The thing he loves will not journey with him; -he must travel alone. When he presses somewhat to his burning heart, -crying, ‘Mine, mine, my own!’ he shall hear a voice--‘Renounce! -renounce! this is not thine!’” - -“He shall succeed?” - -He said, “He shall fail. When he runs with others they shall reach the -goal before him. For strange voices shall call to him and strange lights -shall beckon him, and he must wait and listen. And this shall be the -strangest: far off across the burning sands where, to other men, there -is only the desert’s waste, he shall see a blue sea! On that sea the sun -shines always, and the water is blue as burning amethyst, and the foam -is white on the shore. A great land rises from it, and he shall see upon -the mountain-tops burning gold.” - -The mother said, “He shall reach it?” - -And he smiled curiously. - -She said, “It is real?” - -And he said, “What IS real?” - -And she looked up between his half-closed eyelids, and said, “Touch.” - -And he leaned forward and laid his hand upon the sleeper, and whispered -to it, smiling; and this only she heard--“This shall be thy reward--that -the ideal shall be real to thee.” - -And the child trembled; but the mother slept on heavily and her -brain-picture vanished. But deep within her the antenatal thing that -lay here had a dream. In those eyes that had never seen the day, in that -half-shaped brain was a sensation of light! Light--that it never had -seen. Light--that perhaps it never should see. Light--that existed -somewhere! - -And already it had its reward: the Ideal was real to it. - -London. - - - - -VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. - -“I cannot forgive--I love.” - -There are four bare walls; there is a Christ upon the walls, in red, -carrying his cross; there is a Blessed Bambino with the face rubbed out; -there is Madonna in blue and red; there are Roman soldiers and a Christ -with tied hands. All the roof is gone; overhead is the blue, blue -Italian sky; the rain has beaten holes in the walls, and the plaster is -peeling from it. The chapel stands here alone upon the promontory, and -by day and by night the sea breaks at its feet. Some say that it was -set here by the monks from the island down below, that they might bring -their sick here in times of deadly plague. Some say that it was set here -that the passing monks and friars, as they hurried by upon the roadway, -might stop and say their prayers here. Now no one stops to pray here, -and the sick come no more to be healed. - -Behind it runs the old Roman road. If you climb it and come and sit -there alone on a hot sunny day you may almost hear at last the clink of -the Roman soldiers upon the pavement, and the sound of that older time, -as you sit there in the sun, when Hannibal and his men broke through the -brushwood, and no road was. - -Now it is very quiet. Sometimes a peasant girl comes riding by between -her panniers, and you hear the mule’s feet beat upon the bricks of the -pavement; sometimes an old woman goes past with a bundle of weeds upon -her head, or a brigand-looking man hurries by with a bundle of sticks -in his hand; but for the rest the Chapel lies here alone upon the -promontory, between the two bays and hears the sea break at its feet. - -I came here one winter’s day when the midday sun shone hot on the bricks -of the Roman road. I was weary, and the way seemed steep. I walked into -the chapel to the broken window, and looked out across the bay. Far off, -across the blue, blue water, were towns and villages, hanging white and -red dots, upon the mountain-sides, and the blue mountains rose up into -the sky, and now stood out from it and now melted back again. - -The mountains seemed calling to me, but I knew there would never be a -bridge built from them to me; never, never, never! I shaded my eyes with -my hand and turned away. I could not bear to look at them. - -I walked through the ruined Chapel, and looked at the Christ in red -carrying his cross, and the Blessed rubbed-out Bambino, and the Roman -soldiers, and the folded hands, and the reed; and I went and sat down -in the open porch upon a stone. At my feet was the small bay, with its -white row of houses buried among the olive trees; the water broke in a -long, thin, white line of foam along the shore; and I leaned my elbows -on my knees. I was tired, very tired; tired with a tiredness that seemed -older than the heat of the day and the shining of the sun on the bricks -of the Roman road; and I lay my head upon my knees; I heard the breaking -of the water on the rocks three hundred feet below, and the rustling of -the wind among the olive trees and the ruined arches, and then I fell -asleep there. I had a dream. - -A man cried up to God, and God sent down an angel to help him; and the -angel came back and said, “I cannot help that man.” - -God said, “How is it with him?” - -And the angel said, “He cries out continually that one has injured him; -and he would forgive him and he cannot.” - -God said, “What have you done for him?” - -The angel said, “All--. I took him by the hand, and I said, ‘See, when -other men speak ill of that man do you speak well of him; secretly, in -ways he shall not know, serve him; if you have anything you value share -it with him, so, serving him, you will at last come to feel possession -in him, and you will forgive.’ And he said, ‘I will do it.’ Afterwards, -as I passed by in the dark of night, I heard one crying out, ‘I have -done all. It helps nothing! My speaking well of him helps me nothing! -If I share my heart’s blood with him, is the burning within me less? I -cannot forgive; I cannot forgive! Oh, God, I cannot forgive!’ - -“I said to him, ‘See here, look back on all your past. See from your -childhood all smallness, all indirectness that has been yours; look well -at it, and in its light do you not see every man your brother? Are you -so sinless you have right to hate?’ - -“He looked, and said, ‘Yes, you are right; I too have failed, and I -forgive my fellow. Go, I am satisfied; I have forgiven;’ and he laid him -down peacefully and folded his hands on his breast, and I thought it was -well with him. But scarcely had my wings rustled and I turned to come up -here, when I heard one crying out on earth again, ‘I cannot forgive! I -cannot forgive! Oh, God, God, I cannot forgive! It is better to die -than to hate! I cannot forgive! I cannot forgive!’ And I went and stood -outside his door in the dark, and I heard him cry, ‘I have not sinned -so, not so! If I have torn my fellows’ flesh ever so little, I have -kneeled down and kissed the wound with my mouth till it was healed. I -have not willed that any soul shall be lost through hate of me. If they -have but fancied that I wronged them I have lain down on the ground -before them that they might tread on me, and so, seeing my humiliation, -forgive and not be lost through hating me; they have not cared that -my soul should be lost; they have not willed to save me; they have not -tried that I should forgive them!’ - -“I said to him, ‘See here, be thou content; do not forgive: forget this -soul and its injury; go on your way. In the next world perhaps--’ - -“He cried, ‘Go from me, you understand nothing! What is the next world -to me! I am lost now, today. I cannot see the sunlight shine, the dust -is in my throat, the sand is in my eyes! Go from me, you know nothing! -Oh, once again before I die to see that the world is beautiful! Oh, God, -God, I cannot live and not love. I cannot live and hate. Oh, God, God, -God!’ So I left him crying out and came back here.” - -God said, “This man’s soul must be saved.” - -And the angel said “How?” - -God said, “Go down you, and save it.” - -The angel said, “What more shall I do?” - -Then God bent down and whispered in the angel’s ear, and the angel -spread out its wings and went down to earth. - -And partly I woke, sitting there upon the broken stone with my head on -my knee; but I was too weary to rise. I heard the wind roam through the -olive trees and among the ruined arches, and then I slept again. - -The angel went down and found the man with the bitter heart and took him -by the hand, and led him to a certain spot. - -Now the man wist not where it was the angel would take him nor what he -would show him there. And when they came the angel shaded the man’s eyes -with his wing, and when he moved it the man saw somewhat on the earth -before them. For God had given it to that angel to unclothe a human -soul; to take from it all those outward attributes of form, and colour, -and age, and sex, whereby one man is known from among his fellows and is -marked off from the rest, and the soul lay before them, bare, as a man -turning his eye inwards beholds himself. - -They saw its past, its childhood, the tiny life with the dew upon it; -they saw its youth when the dew was melting, and the creature raised its -Lilliputian mouth to drink from a cup too large for it, and they saw how -the water spilt; they saw its hopes that were never realized; they saw -its hours of intellectual blindness, men call sin; they saw its hours of -all-radiating insight, which men call righteousness; they saw its hour -of strength, when it leaped to its feet crying, “I am omnipotent;” its -hour of weakness, when it fell to the earth and grasped dust only; they -saw what it might have been, but never would be. - -The man bent forward. - -And the angel said, “What is it?” - -He answered, “It is I! it is myself!” And he went forward as if he would -have lain his heart against it; but the angel held him back and covered -his eyes. - -Now God had given power to the angel further to unclothe that soul, -to take from it all those outward attributes of time and place and -circumstance whereby the individual life is marked off from the life of -the whole. - -Again the angel uncovered the man’s eyes, and he looked. He saw before -him that which in its tiny drop reflects the whole universe; he saw that -which marks within itself the step of the furthest star, and tells how -the crystal grows under ground where no eye has seen it; that which is -where the germ in the egg stirs; which moves the outstretched fingers -of the little newborn babe, and keeps the leaves of the trees pointing -upward; which moves where the jelly-fish sail alone on the sunny seas, -and is where the lichens form on the mountains’ rocks. - -And the man looked. - -And the angel touched him. - -But the man bowed his head and shuddered. He whispered--“It is God!” - -And the angel re-covered the man’s eyes. And when he uncovered them -there was one walking from them a little way off;--for the angel had -re-clothed the soul in its outward form and vesture--and the man knew -who it was. - -And the angel said, “Do you know him?” - -And the man said, “I know him,” and he looked after the figure. - -And the angel said, “Have you forgiven him?” - -But the man said, “How beautiful my brother is!” - -And the angel looked into the man’s eyes, and he shaded his own face -with his wing from the light. He laughed softly and went up to God. - -But the men were together on earth. - -I awoke. - -The blue, blue sky was over my head, and the waves were breaking below -on the shore. I walked through the little chapel, and I saw the Madonna -in blue and red, and the Christ carrying his cross, and the Roman -soldiers with the rod, and the Blessed Bambino with its broken face; -and then I walked down the sloping rock to the brick pathway. The olive -trees stood up on either side of the road, their black berries and -pale-green leaves stood out against the sky; and the little ice-plants -hung from the crevices in the stone wall. It seemed to me as if it must -have rained while I was asleep. I thought I had never seen the heavens -and the earth look so beautiful before. I walked down the road. The old, -old, old tiredness was gone. - -Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she -had two large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the -road before me. - -I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and -to have held his hand--only, he would not have known why. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - - -VIII. LIFE’S GIFTS. - -I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, -and held in each hand a gift--in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And -she said to the woman, “Choose!” - -And the woman waited long: and she said, “Freedom!” - -And Life said, “Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, ‘Love,’ I -would have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone -from thee, and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I -shall return. In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand.” - -I heard the woman laugh in her sleep. - -London. - - - - -IX. THE ARTIST’S SECRET. - -There was an artist once, and he painted a picture. Other artists had -colours richer and rarer, and painted more notable pictures. He painted -his with one colour, there was a wonderful red glow on it; and the -people went up and down, saying, “We like the picture, we like the -glow.” - -The other artists came and said, “Where does he get his colour from?” - They asked him; and he smiled and said, “I cannot tell you”; and worked -on with his head bent low. - -And one went to the far East and bought costly pigments, and made a rare -colour and painted, but after a time the picture faded. Another read in -the old books, and made a colour rich and rare, but when he had put it -on the picture it was dead. - -But the artist painted on. Always the work got redder and redder, and -the artist grew whiter and whiter. At last one day they found him dead -before his picture, and they took him up to bury him. The other men -looked about in all the pots and crucibles, but they found nothing they -had not. - -And when they undressed him to put his grave-clothes on him, they found -above his left breast the mark of a wound--it was an old, old wound, -that must have been there all his life, for the edges were old and -hardened; but Death, who seals all things, had drawn the edges together, -and closed it up. - -And they buried him. And still the people went about saying, “Where did -he find his colour from?” - -And it came to pass that after a while the artist was forgotten--but the -work lived. - -St. Leonards-on-Sea. - - - - -X. “I THOUGHT I STOOD.” - -I thought I stood in Heaven before God’s throne, and God asked me what I -had come for. I said I had come to arraign my brother, Man. - -God said, “What has he done?” - -I said, “He has taken my sister, Woman, and has stricken her, and -wounded her, and thrust her out into the streets; she lies there -prostrate. His hands are red with blood. I am here to arraign him; that -the kingdom be taken from him, because he is not worthy, and given unto -me. My hands are pure.” - -I showed them. - -God said, “Thy hands are pure.--Lift up thy robe.” - -I raised it; my feet were red, blood-red, as if I had trodden in wine. - -God said, “How is this?” - -I said, “Dear Lord, the streets on earth are full of mire. If I should -walk straight on in them my outer robe might be bespotted, you see how -white it is! Therefore I pick my way.” - -God said, “On what?” - -I was silent, and I let my robe fall. I wrapped my mantle about my head. -I went out softly. I was afraid that the angels would see me. - - -II. - -Once more I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and another. We held fast by -one another; we were very tired. We looked up at the great gates; the -angels opened them, and we went in. The mud was on our garments. We -walked across the marble floor, and up to the great throne. Then the -angels divided us. Her, they set upon the top step, but me, upon the -bottom; for, they said, “Last time this woman came here she left red -foot-marks on the floor; we had to wash them out with our tears. Let her -not go up.” - -Then she, with whom I came, looked back, and stretched out her hand to -me; and I went and stood beside her. And the angels, they, the shining -ones who never sinned and never suffered, walked by us to and fro and -up and down; I think we should have felt a little lonely there if it had -not been for one another, the angels were so bright. - -God asked me what I had come for; and I drew my sister forward a little -that he might see her. - -God said, “How is it you are here together today?” - -I said, “She was upon the ground in the street, and they passed over -her; I lay down by her, and she put her arms around my neck, and so I -lifted her, and we two rose together.” - -God said, “Whom are you now come to accuse before me?” - -I said, “We are come to accuse no man.” - -And God bent, and said, “My children--what is it that ye seek?” - -And she beside me drew my hand that I should speak for both. - -I said, “We have come to ask that thou shouldst speak to Man, our -brother, and give us a message for him that he might understand, and -that he might--” - -God said, “Go, take the message down to him!” - -I said, “But what is the message?” - -God said, “Upon your hearts it is written; take it down to him.” - -And we turned to go; the angels went with us to the door. They looked at -us. - -And one said--“Ai! but their dresses are beautiful!” - -And the other said, “I thought it was mire when they came in, but see, -it is all golden!” - -But another said, “Hush, it is the light from their faces!” - -And we went down to him. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - - -XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. - -In the dark one night I lay upon my bed. I heard the policeman’s feet -beat on the pavement; I heard the wheels of carriages roll home from -houses of entertainment; I heard a woman’s laugh below my window--and -then I fell asleep. And in the dark I dreamt a dream. I dreamt God took -my soul to Hell. - -Hell was a fair place; the water of the lake was blue. - -I said to God, “I like this place.” - -God said, “Ay, dost thou!” - -Birds sang, turf came to the water-edge, and trees grew from it. Away -off among the trees I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of -many delicate colours and clung to them, and they were tall and graceful -and had yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided -in and out among the trees, and over their heads hung yellow fruit like -large pears of melted gold. - -I said, “It is very fair; I would go up and taste the--” - -God said, “Wait.” - -And after a while I noticed a very fair woman pass: she looked this way -and that, and drew down a branch, and it seemed she kissed the fruit -upon it softly, and went on her way, and her dress made no rustle as she -passed over the grass. And when I saw her no more, from among the stems -came another woman fair as she had been, in a delicate tinted robe; she -looked this way and that. When she saw no one there she drew down the -fruit, and when she had looked over it to find a place, she put her -mouth to it softly, and went away. And I saw other and other women come, -making no noise, and they glided away also over the grass. - -And I said to God, “What are they doing?” - -God said, “They are poisoning.” - -And I said, “How?” - -God said, “They touch it with their lips, when they have made a tiny -wound in it with their fore-teeth they set in it that which is under -their tongues: they close it with their lip--that no man may see the -place, and pass on.” - -I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - -God said, “That another may not eat.” - -I said to God, “But if they poison all then none dare eat; what do they -gain?” - -God said, “Nothing.” - -I said, “Are they not afraid they themselves may bite where another has -bitten?” - -God said, “They are afraid. In Hell all men fear.” - -He called me further. And the water of the lake seemed less blue. - -Then, to the right among the trees were men working. And I said to God, -“I should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very fruitful -place, the grass is so green.” - -God said, “Nothing grows in the garden they are making.” - -We stood looking; and I saw them working among the bushes, digging -holes, but in them they set nothing; and when they had covered them with -sticks and earth each went a way off and sat behind the bushes watching; -and I noticed that as each walked he set his foot down carefully looking -where he trod. I said to God, “What are they doing?” - -God said, “Making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink.” - -I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - -God said, “Because each thinks that when his brother falls he will -rise.” - -I said to God, “How will he rise?” - -God said, “He will not rise.” - -And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes. - -I said to God, “Are these men sane?” - -God said, “They are not sane; there is no sane man in Hell.” - -And he told me to come further. - -And I looked where I trod. - -And we came where Hell opened into a plain, and a great house stood -there. Marble pillars upheld the roof, and white marble steps let up to -it. The wind of heaven blew through it. Only at the back hung a thick -curtain. Fair men and women there feasted at long tables. They danced, -and I saw the robes of women flutter in the air and heard the laugh of -strong men. What they feasted with was wine; they drew it from large -jars which stood somewhat in the background, and I saw the wine sparkle -as they drew it. - -And I said to God, “I should like to go up and drink.” And God said, -“Wait.” And I saw men coming in to the Banquet House; they came in from -the back and lifted the corner of the curtain at the sides and crept in -quickly; and they let the curtain fall behind them; they bore great jars -they could hardly carry. And the men and women crowded round them, and -the new-comers opened their jars and gave them of the wine to drink; -and I saw that the women drank even more greedily than the men. And when -others had well drunken they set the jars among the old ones beside the -wall, and took their places at the table. And I saw that some of the -jars were very old and mildewed and dusty, but others had still drops of -new must on them and shone from the furnace. - -And I said to God, “What is that?” For amid the sound of the singing, -and over the dancing of feet, and over the laughing across the wine-cups -I heard a cry. - -And God said, “Stand a way off.” - -And he took me where I saw both sides of the curtain. Behind the house -was the wine-press where the wine was made. I saw the grapes crushed, -and I heard them cry. I said, “Do not they on the other side hear it?” - -God said, “The curtain is thick; they are feasting.” - -And I said, “But the men who came in last. They saw?” - -God said, “They let the curtain fall behind them--and they forget!” - -I said, “How came they by their jars of wine?” - -God said, “In the treading of the press these are they who came to the -top; they have climbed out over the edge, and filled their jars from -below, and have gone into the house.” - -And I said, “And if they had fallen as they climbed--?” - -God said, “They had been wine.” - -I stood a way off watching in the sunshine, and I shivered. - -God lay in the sunshine watching too. - -Then there rose one among the feasters, who said, “My brethren, let us -pray!” - -And all the men and women rose: and strong men bowed their heads, and -mothers folded their little children’s hands together, and turned their -faces upwards, to the roof. And he who first had risen stood at the -table head, and stretched out both his hands, and his beard was long -and white, and his sleeves and his beard had been dipped in wine; and -because the sleeves were wide and full they held much wine, and it -dropped down upon the floor. - -And he cried, “My brothers and my sisters, let us pray.” - -And all the men and women answered, “Let us pray.” - -He cried, “For this fair banquet-house we thank thee, Lord.” - -And all the men and women said “We thank thee, Lord.” - -“Thine is this house, dear Lord.” - -“Thine is this house.” - -“For us hast thou made it.” - -“For us.” - -“Oh, fill our jars with wine, dear Lord.” - -“Our jars with wine.” - -“Give peace and plenty in our time, dear Lord.” - -“Peace and plenty in our time”--I said to God, “Whom is it they are -talking to?” God said, “Do I know whom they speak of?” And I saw they -were looking up at the roof; but out in the sunshine, God lay. - -“--dear Lord!” - -“Dear Lord.” - -“Our children’s children, Lord, shall rise and call thee blessed.” - -“Our children’s children, Lord.”--I said to God, “The grapes are -crying!” God said, “Still! I hear them”--“shall call thee blessed.” - -“Shall call thee blessed.” - -“Pour forth more wine upon us, Lord.” - -“More wine.” - -“More wine.” - -“More wine!” - -“Wine!!” - -“Wine!!” - -“Wine!!!” - -“Dear Lord!” - -Then men and women sat down and the feast went on. And mothers poured -out wine and fed their little children with it, and men held up the -cup to women’s lips and cried, “Beloved! drink,” and women filled their -lovers’ flagons and held them up; and yet the feast went on. - -And after a while I looked, and I saw the curtain that hung behind the -house moving. - -I said to God, “Is it a wind?” - -God said, “A wind.” - -And it seemed to me, that against the curtain I saw pressed the forms -of men and women. And after a while the feasters saw it move, and they -whispered, one to another. Then some rose and gathered the most worn-out -cups, and into them they put what was left at the bottom of other -vessels. Mothers whispered to their children, “Do not drink all, save -a little drop when you have drunk.” And when they had collected all the -dregs they slipped the cups out under the bottom of the curtain without -lifting it. After a while the curtain left off moving. - -I said to God, “How is it so quiet?” - -He said, “They have gone away to drink it.” - -I said, “They drink it--their own!” - -God said, “It comes from this side of the curtain, and they are very -thirsty.” - -Then the feast went on, and after a while I saw a small, white hand -slipped in below the curtain’s edge along the floor; and it motioned -towards the wine jars. - -And I said to God, “Why is that hand so bloodless?” - -And God said, “It is a wine-pressed hand.” - -And men saw it and started to their feet; and women cried, and ran to -the great wine jars, and threw their arms around them, and cried, “Ours, -our own, our beloved!” and twined their long hair about them. - -I said to God, “Why are they frightened of that one small hand?” - -God answered, “Because it is so white.” - -And men ran in a great company towards the curtain, and struggled there. -I heard them strike upon the floor. And when they moved away the curtain -hung smooth and still; and there was a small stain upon the floor. - -I said to God, “Why do they not wash it out?” - -God said, “They cannot.” - -And they took small stones and put them down along the edge of the -curtain to keep it down. Then the men and women sat down again at the -tables. - -And I said to God, “Will those stones keep it down?” - -God said, “What think you?” - -I said, “If the wind blew?” - -God said, “If the wind blew?” - -And the feast went on. - -And suddenly I cried to God, “If one should rise among them, even of -themselves, and start up from the table and should cast away his -cup, and cry, ‘My brothers and my sisters, stay! what is it that we -drink?’--and with his sword should cut in two the curtain, and holding -wide the fragments, cry, ‘Brothers, sisters, see! it is not wine, not -wine! not wine! My brothers, oh, my sisters!’ and he should overturn -the--” - -God said, “Be still!--, see there.” - -I looked: before the banquet-house, among the grass, I saw a row of -mounds, flowers covered them, and gilded marble stood at their heads. I -asked God what they were. - -He answered, “They are the graves of those who rose up at the feast and -cried.” - -And I asked God how they came there. - -He said, “The men of the banquet-house rose and cast them down -backwards.” - -I said, “Who buried them?” - -God said, “The men who cast them down.” - -I said, “How came it that they threw them down, and then set marble over -them?” - -God said, “Because the bones cried out, they covered them.” - -And among the grass and weeds I saw an unburied body lying; and I asked -God why it was. - -God said, “Because it was thrown down only yesterday. In a little while, -when the flesh shall have fallen from its bones, they will bury it also, -and plant flowers over it.” - -And still the feast went on. - -Men and women sat at the tables quaffing great bowls. Some rose, and -threw their arms about each other, and danced and sang. They pledged -each other in the wine, and kissed each other’s blood-red lips. - -Higher and higher grew the revels. - -Men, when they had drunk till they could no longer, threw what was left -in their glasses up to the roof, and let it fall back in cascades. Women -dyed their children’s garments in the wine, and fed them on it till -their tiny mouths were red. Sometimes, as the dancers whirled, they -overturned a vessel, and their garments were bespattered. Children sat -upon the floor with great bowls of wine, and swam rose-leaves on it, for -boats. They put their hands in the wine and blew large red bubbles. - -And higher and higher grew the revels, and wilder the dancing, and -louder and louder the singing. But here and there among the revellers -were those who did not revel. I saw that at the tables here and there -were men who sat with their elbows on the board and hands shading their -eyes; they looked into the wine-cup beneath them, and did not drink. And -when one touched them lightly on the shoulder, bidding them to rise -and dance and sing, they started, and then looked down, and sat there -watching the wine in the cup, but they did not move. - -And here and there I saw a woman sit apart. The others danced and sang -and fed their children, but she sat silent with her head aside as though -she listened. Her little children plucked her gown; she did not see -them; she was listening to some sound, but she did not stir. - -The revels grew higher. Men drank till they could drink no longer, and -lay their heads upon the table sleeping heavily. Women who could dance -no more leaned back on the benches with their heads against their -lovers’ shoulders. Little children, sick with wine, lay down upon the -edges of their mothers’ robes. Sometimes, a man rose suddenly, and as he -staggered struck the tables and overthrew the benches; some leaned upon -the balustrades sick unto death. Here and there one rose who staggered -to the wine jars and lay down beside them. He turned the wine tap, but -sleep overcame him as he lay there, and the wine ran out. - -Slowly the thin, red stream ran across the white marbled floor; it -reached the stone steps; slowly, slowly, slowly it trickled down, from -step to step, from step to step: then it sank into the earth. A thin -white smoke rose up from it. - -I was silent; I could not breathe; but God called me to come further. - -And after I had travelled for a while I came where on seven hills lay -the ruins of a mighty banquet-house larger and stronger than the one -which I had seen standing. - -I said to God, “What did the men who built it here?” - -God said, “They feasted.” - -I said, “On what?” - -God said, “On wine.” - -And I looked; and it seemed to me that behind the ruins lay still a -large circular hollow within the earth where a foot of the wine-press -had stood. - -I said to God, “How came it that this large house fell?” - -God said, “Because the earth was sodden.” - -He called me to come further. - -And at last we came upon a hill where blue waters played, and white -marble lay upon the earth. I said to God, “What was here once?” - -God said, “A pleasure house.” - -I looked, and at my feet great pillars lay. I cried aloud for joy to -God, “The marble blossoms!” - -God said, “Ay, ‘twas a fairy house. There has not been one like to it, -nor ever shall be. The pillars and the porticoes blossomed; and the -wine cups were as gathered flowers: on this side all the curtain was -broidered with fair designs, the stitching was of gold.” - -I said to God, “How came it that it fell?” - -God said, “On the side of the wine-press it was dark.” - -And as we travelled, we came where lay a mighty ridge of sand, and a -dark river ran there; and there rose two vast mounds. - -I said to God, “They are very mighty.” - -God said, “Ay, exceeding great.” - -And I listened. - -God asked me what I was listening to. - -And I said, “A sound of weeping, and I hear the sound of strokes, but I -cannot tell whence it comes.” - -God said, “It is the echo of the wine-press lingering still among the -coping-stones upon the mounds. A banquet-house stood here.” - -And he called me to come further. - -Upon a barren hill-side, where the soil was arid, God called me to stand -still. And I looked around. - -God said, “There was a feasting-house here once upon a time.” - -I said to God, “I see no mark of any!” - -God said, “There was not left one stone upon another that has not been -thrown down.” And I looked round; and on the hill-side was a lonely -grave. - -I said to God, “What lies there?” - -He said, “A vine truss, bruised in the wine-press!” - -And at the head of the grave stood a cross, and on its foot lay a crown -of thorns. - -And as I turned to go, I looked backward. The wine-press and the -banquet-house were gone; but the grave yet stood. - -And when I came to the edge of a long ridge there opened out before me -a wide plain of sand. And when I looked downward I saw great stones lie -shattered; and the desert sand had half covered them over. - -I said to God, “There is writing on them, but I cannot read it.” - -And God blew aside the desert sand, and I read the writing: “Weighed in -the balance, and found--” but the last word was wanting. - -And I said to God, “It was a banquet-house?” - -God said, “Ay, a banquet-house.” - -I said, “There was a wine-press here?” - -God said, “There was a wine-press.” - -I asked no further question. I was very weary; I shaded my eyes with my -hand, and looked through the pink evening light. - -Far off, across the sand, I saw two figures standing. With wings -upfolded high above their heads, and stern faces set, neither man nor -beast, they looked out across the desert sand, watching, watching, -watching! I did not ask God what they were, for I knew what the answer -would be. - -And, further and yet further, in the evening light, I looked with my -shaded eyes. - -Far off, where the sands were thick and heavy, I saw a solitary pillar -standing: the crown had fallen, and the sand had buried it. On the -broken pillar sat a grey owl-of-the-desert, with folded wings; and in -the evening light I saw the desert fox creep past it, trailing his brush -across the sand. - -Further, yet further, as I looked across the desert, I saw the sand -gathered into heaps as though it covered something. - -I cried to God, “Oh, I am so weary.” - -God said, “You have seen only one half of Hell.” - -I said, “I cannot see more, I am afraid of Hell. In my own narrow little -path I dare not walk because I think that one has dug a pitfall for -me; and if I put my hand to take a fruit I draw it back again because I -think it has been kissed already. If I look out across the plains, the -mounds are burial heaps; and when I pass among the stones I hear them -crying aloud. When I see men dancing I hear the time beaten in with -sobs; and their wine is living! Oh, I cannot bear Hell!” - -God said, “Where will you go?” - -I said “To the earth from which I came; it was better there.” - -And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed. - -God said, “Come, and I will show you Heaven.” - -... - -And partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages -had died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the -policeman’s tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great -hand lay upon my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed -from side to side; and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed. - -God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The -gulf, it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two bridges -crossing it that both sloped upwards. - -I said to God, “Is there no other way by which men cross it?” - -God said, “One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards.” - -I asked God what the bridges’ names were. - -God said, “What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the -Beautiful, if you will--you will yet not understand them.” - -I asked God how it was I could not see the third. - -God said, “It is seen only by those who climb it.” - -I said, “Do they all lead to one heaven?” - -God said, “All Heaven is one: nevertheless some parts are higher than -others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the -lower; but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the -higher; nevertheless the light is all one.” - -And I saw over the bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other, -countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it. - -God said, “It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven.” - -And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God -how it was. - -He said, “No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, -when they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there -is no land beyond.” - -I said, “Has none ever returned?” - -God said, “No; once in Heaven always in Heaven.” - -And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors--for -Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open--the posts rose up -so high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there were -any. - -And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it. - -I said to God, “Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?” - -God said, “Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be -engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell.” - -And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every -hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks -and stones. I asked God how it was. - -But God did not answer me. - -I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be otherwise. And -after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, -and I asked God if the sun were not going to rise. - -God said, “No; we are coming to where the people are.” - -And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning -day; and on the rock were flowers blooming, and trees blossomed at the -roadside; and streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds -singing; I asked God where they were. - -God said, “It is the people calling to one another.” - -And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they -walked. I asked God how it was they wore no covering. - -God said, “Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover -any part.” - -And I asked God what they were doing. - -God said, “Shining on the plants that they may grow.” - -And I saw that some were working in companies, and some alone, but most -were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally -there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was. - -God said, “When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most -perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless, -there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many -kinds of light.” - -And one from among the people came running towards me; and when he came -near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were -little children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told -God what I felt; God said, “All men feel so in Heaven when another comes -towards them.” - -And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright -lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his -companion answered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She -said, “He must have water”; and she took some in her hands, and fed me -(I had been afraid to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered -fruit for me, and gave it me to eat. They said, “We shone long to make -it ripen,” and they laughed together as they saw me eat it. - -The man said, “He is very weary; he must sleep” (for I had not dared to -sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his companion’s knee and spread -her hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought -I heard the birds calling across me. And when I woke it was like early -morning, with the dew on everything. - -And the man took my hand and led me to a hidden spot among the rocks. -The ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and -there was a little stream running. He said, “This is a garden we are -making, no one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the -ground has cracked with our shining, and this little stream is bursting -out. See, the flowers are growing.” - -And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers -with dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my -hands shone as I held them. He said, “This garden is for all when it is -finished.” And he went away to his companion, and I went out into the -great pathway. - -And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And -when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows -were standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter -than anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said, -“Hush! Our singing bird.” - -And I asked why the eyes shone so. - -And he said, “They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone -so.” - -And the people gathered closer round him. - -And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees -of light with great laughter. When they came close I saw they carried -one without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so -bright that I could not look at them. - -And I said to one, “What is it?” - -He answered, “This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and -feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the -maimed stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in -Heaven. We pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat. -No one is allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all;” and they went on -among the trees. - -I said to God, “This is a strange land. I had thought blindness and -maimedness were great evils. Here men make them to a rejoicing.” - -God said, “Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!” - -And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand. I said to -God, “Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have -dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again. I will stay here -and shine.” And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as -others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light. -I said to God, “How is it?” - -God said, “Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against -none?” - -And I said, “Yes--“; and I thought--“Now is the time when I will tell -God, that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly my -fellow-men have treated me. How they have misunderstood me. How I have -intended to be magnanimous and generous to them, and they--.” And I -began to tell God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering -under my breath, and I was silent. - -And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my mantle about me -and followed him. - -And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at -last to a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the -clouds. And on its side I saw men working; and they picked at the -earth with huge picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily. And some -laboured in companies, but most laboured singly. And I saw the drops of -sweat fall from their foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out -with labour. And I said, “I had not thought in heaven to see men -labour so!” And I thought of the garden where men sang and loved, and -I wondered that any should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side. -And I saw upon the foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the -drops which fell from them as they worked had light. - -And I asked God what they were seeking for. - -And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small -stones, which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that -the light of the stones and the light on the men’s foreheads was the -same. And I saw that when one found a stone he passed it on to his -fellow, and he to another, and he to another. No man kept the stone he -found. And at times they gathered in great company about when a large -stone was found, and raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then -they worked on again. - -And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last. Then -God touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my -very feet was a mighty crown. The light streamed out from it. - -God said, “Each stone as they find it is set here.” - -And the crown was wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern -ran through all, yet each part was different. - -I said to God, “How does each man know where to set his stone, so that -the pattern is worked out?” - -God said, “Because in the light his forehead sheds each man sees faintly -outlined that full crown.” - -And I said, “But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to -its fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?” - -God said, “The stones are alive; they grow.” - -And I said, “But what does each man gain by his working?” - -God said, “He sees his outline filled.” - -I said, “But those stones which are last set cover those which were -first; and those will again be covered by those which come later.” - -God said, “They are covered, but not hid. The light is the light of all. -Without the first, no last.” - -And I said to God, “When will this crown be ended?” - -And God said, “Look up!” - -I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its summit I -could not see; it was lost in the clouds. - -God said no more. - -And I looked at the crown: then a longing seized me. Like the passion -of a mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of -a friend for the friend whom life has buried; like the hunger of dying -eyes for a life that is slipping; like the thirst of a soul for love at -its first spring waking, so, but fiercer was the longing in me. - -I cried to God, “I too will work here; I too will set stones in the -wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand. And if it be that, -labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will -be with the men that labour here. I shall hear their shout of joy when -each stone is found; I shall join in their triumph, I shall shout among -them; I shall see the crown grow.” So great was my longing as I looked -at the crown, I thought a faint light fell from my forehead also. - -God said, “Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?” - -I said, “No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown.” And I was dumb with -longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing -there. And I ran forward, and threw my mantle on the earth and bent to -seize one of the mighty tools which lay there. I could not lift it from -the earth. - -God said, “Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy -mantle.” - -And I took up my mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked -back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved. - -Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner. Not a tree or -plant was on the bare rocks, and the stillness was unbroken. My breath -came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips. I said -to God, “Is this Heaven?” - -God said, “Yes; it is the highest.” - -And still we climbed. I said to God, “I cannot breathe so high.” - -God said, “Because the air is pure?” - -And my head grew dizzy, and as I climbed the blood burst from my -finger-tips. - -Then we came out upon a lonely mountain-top. - -No living being moved there; but far off on a solitary peak I saw a -lonely figure standing. Whether it were man or woman I could not tell; -for partly it seemed the figure of a woman, but its limbs were the -mighty limbs of a man. I asked God whether it was man or woman. - -God said, “In the least Heaven sex reigns supreme; in the higher it is -not noticed; but in the highest it does not exist.” - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and labour mightily, but what -it laboured at I could not see. - -I said to God, “How came it here?” - -God said, “By a bloody stair. Step by step it mounted from the lowest -Hell, and day by day as Hell grew farther and Heaven no nearer, it hung -alone between two worlds. Hour by hour in that bitter struggle its limbs -grew larger, till there fell from it rag by rag the garments which it -started with. Drops fell from its eyes as it strained them; each step it -climbed was wet with blood. Then it came out here.” - -And I thought of the garden where men sang with their arms around one -another; and the mountain-side where they worked in company. And I -shuddered. - -And I said, “Is it not terribly alone here?” - -God said, “It is never alone!” - -I said, “What has it for all its labour? I see nothing return to it.” - -Then God touched my eyes, and I saw stretched out beneath us the plains -of Heaven and Hell, and all that was within them. - -God said, “From that lone height on which he stands, all things are -open. To him is clear the shining in the garden, he sees the flower -break forth and the streams sparkle; no shout is raised upon the -mountain-side but his ear may hear it. He sees the crown grow and the -light shoot from it. All Hell is open to him. He sees the paths mount -upwards. To him, Hell is the seed ground from which Heaven springs. He -sees the sap ascending.” - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and the light from its face -fell upon it. - -And I said to God, “What is it making?” - -And God said, “Music!” - -And he touched my ears, and I heard it. - -And after a long while I whispered to God, “This is Heaven.” - -And God asked me why I was crying. But I could not answer for joy. - -And the face turned from its work, and the light fell upon me. Then it -grew so bright I could not see things separately; and which were God, -or the man, or I, I could not tell; we were all blended. I cried to God, -“Where are you?” but there was no answer, only music and light. - -Afterwards, when it had grown so dark again that I could see things -separately, I found that I was standing there wrapped tight in my little -old, brown, earthly cloak, and God and the man were separated from each -other, and from me. - -I did not dare say I would go and make music beside the man. I knew I -could not reach even to his knee, nor move the instrument he played. -But I thought I would stand there on my little peak and sing an -accompaniment to that great music. And I tried; but my voice failed. It -piped and quavered. I could not sing that tune. I was silent. - -Then God pointed to me, that I should go out of Heaven. - -And I cried to God, “Oh, let me stay here! If indeed it be, as I know -it is, that I am not great enough to sing upon the mountain, nor strong -enough to labour on its side, nor bright enough to shine and love within -the garden, at least let me go down to the great gateway; humbly I will -kneel there sweeping; and, as the saved pass in, I will see the light -upon their faces. I shall hear the singing in the garden, and the shout -upon the hillside--” - -God said, “It may not be;” he pointed. - -And I cried, “If I may not stay in Heaven, then let me go down to Hell, -and I will grasp the hands of men and women there; and slowly, holding -one another’s hands, we will work our way upwards.” - -Still God pointed. - -And I threw myself upon the earth and cried, “Earth is so small, so -mean! It is not meet a soul should see Heaven and be cast out again!” - -And God laid his hand on me, and said, “Go back to earth: that which you -seek is there.” - -I awoke: it was morning. The silence and darkness of the night were -gone. Through my narrow attic window I saw the light of another day. I -closed my eyes and turned towards the wall: I could not look upon the -dull grey world. - -In the streets below, men and women streamed past by hundreds; I heard -the beat of their feet on the pavement. Men on their way to business; -servants on errands; boys hurrying to school; weary professors pacing -slowly the old street; prostitutes, men and women, dragging their -feet wearily after last night’s debauch; artists with quick, impatient -footsteps; tradesmen for orders; children to seek for bread. I heard the -stream beat by. And at the alley’s mouth, at the street corner, a broken -barrel-organ was playing; sometimes it quavered and almost stopped, then -went on again, like a broken human voice. - -I listened: my heart scarcely moved; it was as cold as lead. I could -not bear the long day before me; and I tried to sleep again; yet still I -heard the feet upon the pavement. And suddenly I heard them cry loud as -they beat, “We are seeking!--we are seeking!--we are seeking!” and the -broken barrel-organ at the street corner sobbed, “The Beautiful!--the -Beautiful!--the Beautiful!” And my heart, which had been dead, cried out -with every throb, “Love!--Truth!--the Beautiful!--the Beautiful!” It was -the music I had heard in Heaven that I could not sing there. - -And fully I awoke. - -Upon the faded quilt, across my bed a long yellow streak of pale London -sunlight was lying. It fell through my narrow attic window. - -I laughed. I rose. - -I was glad the long day was before me. - -Paris and London. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DREAMS *** - -***** This file should be named 1439-0.txt or 1439-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/3/1439/ - -Produced by Sue Asscher - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project -Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at -http://gutenberg.org/license). - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” - or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project -Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -“Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.” - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -“Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right -of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’ WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm’s -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at -http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws. - -The Foundation’s principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at -809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email -business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact -information can be found at the Foundation’s web site and official -page at http://pglaf.org - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit http://pglaf.org - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/1439-0.zip b/old/1439-0.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 4b9476c..0000000 --- a/old/1439-0.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/1439-h.zip b/old/1439-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index cb74f2f..0000000 --- a/old/1439-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/1439-h/1439-h.htm b/old/1439-h/1439-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index ff473ad..0000000 --- a/old/1439-h/1439-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3597 +0,0 @@ -<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> - -<!DOCTYPE html - PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > - -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> - <head> - <title> - Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - </title> - <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> - - body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} - P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } - H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } - hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} - .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } - blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} - .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} - .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} - .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} - div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } - div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } - .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} - .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} - .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; - margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; - text-align: right;} - pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} - -</style> - </head> - <body> -<pre xml:space="preserve"> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Dreams - -Author: Olive Schreiner - -Release Date: August 16, 2008 [EBook #1439] -Last Updated: October 12, 2016 - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DREAMS *** - - - - -Produced by Sue Asscher, and David Widger - - - - - -</pre> - <p> - <br /><br /> - </p> - <h1> - DREAMS - </h1> - <p> - <br /> - </p> - <h2> - By Olive Schreiner - </h2> - <p> - <br /><br /> - </p> - <h4> - To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of that <br />which - for us is yet sight, not touch. <br /><br /> Note.<br /><br /> These Dreams - are printed in the order in which they were written.<br /><br /> In the case - of two there was a lapse of some years between the writing of the first - and last parts; these are placed according to the date of the first part.<br /><br /> - Olive Schreiner.<br /><br /> Matjesfontein,<br /> Cape Colony,<br /> South - Africa.<br /> November, 1890. - </h4> - <p> - <br /> <br /> - </p> - <hr /> - <p> - <br /> <br /> - </p> - <h2> - Contents - </h2> - <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> - <tr> - <td> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> I. THE LOST JOY. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> II. THE HUNTER. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VIII. LIFE’S GIFTS. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> IX. THE ARTIST’S SECRET. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> X. “I THOUGHT I STOOD.” </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. </a> - </p> - </td> - </tr> - </table> - <p> - <br /> <br /> - </p> - <hr /> - <p> - <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <h2> - I. THE LOST JOY. - </h2> - <h3> - All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat. - </h3> - <p> - All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face - looked out across the water. She was waiting—she was waiting; but - she could not tell for what. - </p> - <p> - All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the - pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her - eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee - and fell asleep, waiting still. - </p> - <p> - Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore—Life - awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed - through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of - Love—and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting. - </p> - <p> - And Love drew Life up to him. - </p> - <p> - And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful—Joy, - First-Joy was it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water - is not so glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun’s - first kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was so warm, - so soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the sunshine: and - Love and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it to the other, but - deep in its own heart each said, “It shall be ours for ever.” - </p> - <p> - Then there came a time—was it after weeks? was it after months? - (Love and Life do not measure time)—when the thing was not as it had - been. - </p> - <p> - Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with purple - berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the little eyes - looked out heavily across the water. - </p> - <p> - And Life and Love dared not look into each other’s eyes, dared not say, - “What ails our darling?” Each heart whispered to itself, “It is nothing, - it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear.” But tomorrow and - tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but - heavily, more heavily. - </p> - <p> - One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it was gone: - only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with wide-open eyes, - very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked apart, weeping - bitterly, “Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no more for ever?” - </p> - <p> - The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of - each, and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between - them. And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected in - its soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, “I am weary, I am - weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark is all - before,” a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon the - hill-sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always the - little brave mouth was smiling quietly. - </p> - <p> - When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his - garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the - desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over the - hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert found - water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love’s lips with. He was no - burden—he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on their - journey. - </p> - <p> - When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the rocks—for - Love and Life must pass through strange drear places—there, where - all is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands and - held them against his beating little heart, and warmed them—and - softly he drew them on and on. - </p> - <p> - And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers, - strangely the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face. - Brightly laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the - hollow tree; and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them - water in the leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them - round their heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as their - Joy had touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly. - </p> - <p> - So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with - that little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered that - first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, “Oh! could we but find him - also!” - </p> - <p> - At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who has - always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who steals - light out of the past to shed it on the future. - </p> - <p> - And Life and Love cried out, “O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a - lovely radiant thing belonged to us—gladness without a tear, - sunshine without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall - we go that we may find it?” - </p> - <p> - And she, the wise old woman, answered, “To have it back, will you give up - that which walks beside you now?” - </p> - <p> - And in agony Love and Life cried, “No!” - </p> - <p> - “Give up this!” said Life. “When the thorns have pierced me, who will suck - the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands upon it - and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm my freezing - heart?” - </p> - <p> - And Love cried out, “Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without - this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!” - </p> - <p> - And the wise old woman answered, “O fools and blind! What you once had is - that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant thing is - born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when the shades - begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold and long—then - it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL not know it—till - one day they start up suddenly, crying, ‘O God! O God! we have lost it! - Where is it?’ They do not understand that they could not carry the - laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost, and the snow. - They do not know that what walks beside them still is the Joy grown older. - The grave, sweet, tender thing—warm in the coldest snows, brave in - the dreariest deserts—its name is Sympathy; it is the Perfect Love.” - </p> - <p> - South Africa. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - II. THE HUNTER. - </h2> - <p> - In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for - wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores of - a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming of the - birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a reflection. - He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a burning desire - came over him to see once again that reflection in the water, and all day - he watched and waited; but night came and it had not returned. Then he - went home with his empty bag, moody and silent. His comrades came - questioning about him to know the reason, but he answered them nothing; he - sat alone and brooded. Then his friend came to him, and to him he spoke. - </p> - <p> - “I have seen today,” he said, “that which I never saw before—a vast - white bird, with silver wings outstretched, sailing in the everlasting - blue. And now it is as though a great fire burnt within my breast. It was - but a sheen, a shimmer, a reflection in the water; but now I desire - nothing more on earth than to hold her.” - </p> - <p> - His friend laughed. - </p> - <p> - “It was but a beam playing on the water, or the shadow of your own head. - Tomorrow you will forget her,” he said. - </p> - <p> - But tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow the hunter walked alone. He - sought in the forest and in the woods, by the lakes and among the rushes, - but he could not find her. He shot no more wild fowl; what were they to - him? - </p> - <p> - “What ails him?” said his comrades. - </p> - <p> - “He is mad,” said one. - </p> - <p> - “No; but he is worse,” said another; “he would see that which none of us - have seen, and make himself a wonder.” - </p> - <p> - “Come, let us forswear his company,” said all. - </p> - <p> - So the hunter walked alone. - </p> - <p> - One night, as he wandered in the shade, very heartsore and weeping, an old - man stood before him, grander and taller than the sons of men. - </p> - <p> - “Who are you?” asked the hunter. - </p> - <p> - “I am Wisdom,” answered the old man; “but some men call me Knowledge. All - my life I have grown in these valleys; but no man sees me till he has - sorrowed much. The eyes must be washed with tears that are to behold me; - and, according as a man has suffered, I speak.” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter cried: - </p> - <p> - “Oh, you who have lived here so long, tell me, what is that great wild - bird I have seen sailing in the blue? They would have me believe she is a - dream; the shadow of my own head.” - </p> - <p> - The old man smiled. - </p> - <p> - “Her name is Truth. He who has once seen her never rests again. Till death - he desires her.” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter cried: - </p> - <p> - “Oh, tell me where I may find her.” - </p> - <p> - But the old man said: - </p> - <p> - “You have not suffered enough,” and went. - </p> - <p> - Then the hunter took from his breast the shuttle of Imagination, and wound - on it the thread of his Wishes; and all night he sat and wove a net. - </p> - <p> - In the morning he spread the golden net upon the ground, and into it he - threw a few grains of credulity, which his father had left him, and which - he kept in his breast-pocket. They were like white puff-balls, and when - you trod on them a brown dust flew out. Then he sat by to see what would - happen. The first that came into the net was a snow-white bird, with - dove’s eyes, and he sang a beautiful song—“A human-God! a human-God! - a human-God!” it sang. The second that came was black and mystical, with - dark, lovely eyes, that looked into the depths of your soul, and he sang - only this—“Immortality!” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter took them both in his arms, for he said— - </p> - <p> - “They are surely of the beautiful family of Truth.” - </p> - <p> - Then came another, green and gold, who sang in a shrill voice, like one - crying in the marketplace,—“Reward after Death! Reward after Death!” - </p> - <p> - And he said— - </p> - <p> - “You are not so fair; but you are fair too,” and he took it. - </p> - <p> - And others came, brightly coloured, singing pleasant songs, till all the - grains were finished. And the hunter gathered all his birds together, and - built a strong iron cage called a new creed, and put all his birds in it. - </p> - <p> - Then the people came about dancing and singing. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, happy hunter!” they cried. “Oh, wonderful man! Oh, delightful birds! - Oh, lovely songs!” - </p> - <p> - No one asked where the birds had come from, nor how they had been caught; - but they danced and sang before them. And the hunter too was glad, for he - said: - </p> - <p> - “Surely Truth is among them. In time she will moult her feathers, and I - shall see her snow-white form.” - </p> - <p> - But the time passed, and the people sang and danced; but the hunter’s - heart grew heavy. He crept alone, as of old, to weep; the terrible desire - had awakened again in his breast. One day, as he sat alone weeping, it - chanced that Wisdom met him. He told the old man what he had done. - </p> - <p> - And Wisdom smiled sadly. - </p> - <p> - “Many men,” he said, “have spread that net for Truth; but they have never - found her. On the grains of credulity she will not feed; in the net of - wishes her feet cannot be held; in the air of these valleys she will not - breathe. The birds you have caught are of the brood of Lies. Lovely and - beautiful, but still lies; Truth knows them not.” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter cried out in bitterness— - </p> - <p> - “And must I then sit still, to be devoured of this great burning?” - </p> - <p> - And the old man said, - </p> - <p> - “Listen, and in that you have suffered much and wept much, I will tell you - what I know. He who sets out to search for Truth must leave these valleys - of superstition forever, taking with him not one shred that has belonged - to them. Alone he must wander down into the Land of Absolute Negation and - Denial; he must abide there; he must resist temptation; when the light - breaks he must arise and follow it into the country of dry sunshine. The - mountains of stern reality will rise before him; he must climb them; - beyond them lies Truth.” - </p> - <p> - “And he will hold her fast! he will hold her in his hands!” the hunter - cried. - </p> - <p> - Wisdom shook his head. - </p> - <p> - “He will never see her, never hold her. The time is not yet.” - </p> - <p> - “Then there is no hope?” cried the hunter. - </p> - <p> - “There is this,” said Wisdom: “Some men have climbed on those mountains; - circle above circle of bare rock they have scaled; and, wandering there, - in those high regions, some have chanced to pick up on the ground one - white silver feather, dropped from the wing of Truth. And it shall come to - pass,” said the old man, raising himself prophetically and pointing with - his finger to the sky, “it shall come to pass, that when enough of those - silver feathers shall have been gathered by the hands of men, and shall - have been woven into a cord, and the cord into a net, that in that net - Truth may be captured. Nothing but Truth can hold Truth.” - </p> - <p> - The hunter arose. “I will go,” he said. - </p> - <p> - But wisdom detained him. - </p> - <p> - “Mark you well—who leaves these valleys never returns to them. - Though he should weep tears of blood seven days and nights upon the - confines, he can never put his foot across them. Left—they are left - forever. Upon the road which you would travel there is no reward offered. - Who goes, goes freely—for the great love that is in him. The work is - his reward.” - </p> - <p> - “I go” said the hunter; “but upon the mountains, tell me, which path shall - I take?” - </p> - <p> - “I am the child of The-Accumulated-Knowledge-of-Ages,” said the man; “I - can walk only where many men have trodden. On these mountains few feet - have passed; each man strikes out a path for himself. He goes at his own - peril: my voice he hears no more. I may follow after him, but cannot go - before him.” - </p> - <p> - Then Knowledge vanished. - </p> - <p> - And the hunter turned. He went to his cage, and with his hands broke down - the bars, and the jagged iron tore his flesh. It is sometimes easier to - build than to break. - </p> - <p> - One by one he took his plumed birds and let them fly. But when he came to - his dark-plumed bird he held it, and looked into its beautiful eyes, and - the bird uttered its low, deep cry—“Immortality!” - </p> - <p> - And he said quickly: “I cannot part with it. It is not heavy; it eats no - food. I will hide it in my breast; I will take it with me.” And he buried - it there and covered it over with his cloak. - </p> - <p> - But the thing he had hidden grew heavier, heavier, heavier—till it - lay on his breast like lead. He could not move with it. He could not leave - those valleys with it. Then again he took it out and looked at it. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, my beautiful! my heart’s own!” he cried, “may I not keep you?” - </p> - <p> - He opened his hands sadly. - </p> - <p> - “Go!” he said. “It may happen that in Truth’s song one note is like yours; - but I shall never hear it.” - </p> - <p> - Sadly he opened his hand, and the bird flew from him forever. - </p> - <p> - Then from the shuttle of Imagination he took the thread of his wishes, and - threw it on the ground; and the empty shuttle he put into his breast, for - the thread was made in those valleys, but the shuttle came from an unknown - country. He turned to go, but now the people came about him, howling. - </p> - <p> - “Fool, hound, demented lunatic!” they cried. “How dared you break your - cage and let the birds fly?” - </p> - <p> - The hunter spoke; but they would not hear him. - </p> - <p> - “Truth! who is she? Can you eat her? can you drink her? Who has ever seen - her? Your birds were real: all could hear them sing! Oh, fool! vile - reptile! atheist!” they cried, “you pollute the air.” - </p> - <p> - “Come, let us take up stones and stone him,” cried some. - </p> - <p> - “What affair is it of ours?” said others. “Let the idiot go,” and went - away. But the rest gathered up stones and mud and threw at him. At last, - when he was bruised and cut, the hunter crept away into the woods. And it - was evening about him. - </p> - <p> - He wandered on and on, and the shade grew deeper. He was on the borders - now of the land where it is always night. Then he stepped into it, and - there was no light there. With his hands he groped; but each branch as he - touched it broke off, and the earth was covered with cinders. At every - step his foot sank in, and a fine cloud of impalpable ashes flew up into - his face; and it was dark. So he sat down upon a stone and buried his face - in his hands, to wait in the Land of Negation and Denial till the light - came. - </p> - <p> - And it was night in his heart also. - </p> - <p> - Then from the marshes to his right and left cold mists arose and closed - about him. A fine, imperceptible rain fell in the dark, and great drops - gathered on his hair and clothes. His heart beat slowly, and a numbness - crept through all his limbs. Then, looking up, two merry wisp lights came - dancing. He lifted his head to look at them. Nearer, nearer they came. So - warm, so bright, they danced like stars of fire. They stood before him at - last. From the centre of the radiating flame in one looked out a woman’s - face, laughing, dimpled, with streaming yellow hair. In the centre of the - other were merry laughing ripples, like the bubbles on a glass of wine. - They danced before him. - </p> - <p> - “Who are you,” asked the hunter, “who alone come to me in my solitude and - darkness?” - </p> - <p> - “We are the twins Sensuality,” they cried. “Our father’s name is - Human-Nature, and our mother’s name is Excess. We are as old as the hills - and rivers, as old as the first man; but we never die,” they laughed. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, let me wrap my arms about you!” cried the first; “they are soft and - warm. Your heart is frozen now, but I will make it beat. Oh, come to me!” - </p> - <p> - “I will pour my hot life into you,” said the second; “your brain is numb, - and your limbs are dead now; but they shall live with a fierce free life. - Oh, let me pour it in!” - </p> - <p> - “Oh, follow us,” they cried, “and live with us. Nobler hearts than yours - have sat here in this darkness to wait, and they have come to us and we to - them; and they have never left us, never. All else is a delusion, but we - are real, we are real, we are real. Truth is a shadow; the valleys of - superstition are a farce: the earth is of ashes, the trees all rotten; but - we—feel us—we live! You cannot doubt us. Feel us how warm we - are! Oh, come to us! Come with us!” - </p> - <p> - Nearer and nearer round his head they hovered, and the cold drops melted - on his forehead. The bright light shot into his eyes, dazzling him, and - the frozen blood began to run. And he said: - </p> - <p> - “Yes, why should I die here in this awful darkness? They are warm, they - melt my frozen blood!” and he stretched out his hands to take them. - </p> - <p> - Then in a moment there arose before him the image of the thing he had - loved, and his hand dropped to his side. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, come to us!” they cried. - </p> - <p> - But he buried his face. - </p> - <p> - “You dazzle my eyes,” he cried, “you make my heart warm; but you cannot - give me what I desire. I will wait here—wait till I die. Go!” - </p> - <p> - He covered his face with his hands and would not listen; and when he - looked up again they were two twinkling stars, that vanished in the - distance. - </p> - <p> - And the long, long night rolled on. - </p> - <p> - All who leave the valley of superstition pass through that dark land; but - some go through it in a few days, some linger there for months, some for - years, and some die there. - </p> - <p> - At last for the hunter a faint light played along the horizon, and he rose - to follow it; and he reached that light at last, and stepped into the - broad sunshine. Then before him rose the almighty mountains of Dry-facts - and Realities. The clear sunshine played on them, and the tops were lost - in the clouds. At the foot many paths ran up. An exultant cry burst from - the hunter. He chose the straightest and began to climb; and the rocks and - ridges resounded with his song. They had exaggerated; after all, it was - not so high, nor was the road so steep! A few days, a few weeks, a few - months at most, and then the top! Not one feather only would he pick up; - he would gather all that other men had found—weave the net—capture - Truth—hold her fast—touch her with his hands—clasp her! - </p> - <p> - He laughed in the merry sunshine, and sang loud. Victory was very near. - Nevertheless, after a while the path grew steeper. He needed all his - breath for climbing, and the singing died away. On the right and left rose - huge rocks, devoid of lichen or moss, and in the lava-like earth chasms - yawned. Here and there he saw a sheen of white bones. Now too the path - began to grow less and less marked; then it became a mere trace, with a - footmark here and there; then it ceased altogether. He sang no more, but - struck forth a path for himself, until it reached a mighty wall of rock, - smooth and without break, stretching as far as the eye could see. “I will - rear a stair against it; and, once this wall climbed, I shall be almost - there,” he said bravely; and worked. With his shuttle of imagination he - dug out stones; but half of them would not fit, and half a month’s work - would roll down because those below were ill chosen. But the hunter worked - on, saying always to himself, “Once this wall climbed, I shall be almost - there. This great work ended!” - </p> - <p> - At last he came out upon the top, and he looked about him. Far below - rolled the white mist over the valleys of superstition, and above him - towered the mountains. They had seemed low before; they were of an - immeasurable height now, from crown to foundation surrounded by walls of - rock, that rose tier above tier in mighty circles. Upon them played the - eternal sunshine. He uttered a wild cry. He bowed himself on to the earth, - and when he rose his face was white. In absolute silence he walked on. He - was very silent now. In those high regions the rarefied air is hard to - breathe by those born in the valleys; every breath he drew hurt him, and - the blood oozed out from the tips of his fingers. Before the next wall of - rock he began to work. The height of this seemed infinite, and he said - nothing. The sound of his tool rang night and day upon the iron rocks into - which he cut steps. Years passed over him, yet he worked on; but the wall - towered up always above him to heaven. Sometimes he prayed that a little - moss or lichen might spring up on those bare walls to be a companion to - him; but it never came. - </p> - <p> - And the years rolled on; he counted them by the steps he had cut—a - few for a year—only a few. He sang no more; he said no more, “I will - do this or that”—he only worked. And at night, when the twilight - settled down, there looked out at him from the holes and crevices in the - rocks strange wild faces. - </p> - <p> - “Stop your work, you lonely man, and speak to us,” they cried. - </p> - <p> - “My salvation is in work, if I should stop but for one moment you would - creep down upon me,” he replied. And they put out their long necks - further. - </p> - <p> - “Look down into the crevice at your feet,” they said. “See what lie there—white - bones! As brave and strong a man as you climbed to these rocks.” And he - looked up. He saw there was no use in striving; he would never hold Truth, - never see her, never find her. So he lay down here, for he was very tired. - He went to sleep forever. He put himself to sleep. Sleep is very tranquil. - You are not lonely when you are asleep, neither do your hands ache, nor - your heart. And the hunter laughed between his teeth. - </p> - <p> - “Have I torn from my heart all that was dearest; have I wandered alone in - the land of night; have I resisted temptation; have I dwelt where the - voice of my kind is never heard, and laboured alone, to lie down and be - food for you, ye harpies?” - </p> - <p> - He laughed fiercely; and the Echoes of Despair slunk away, for the laugh - of a brave, strong heart is as a death blow to them. - </p> - <p> - Nevertheless they crept out again and looked at him. - </p> - <p> - “Do you know that your hair is white?” they said, “that your hands begin - to tremble like a child’s? Do you see that the point of your shuttle is - gone?—it is cracked already. If you should ever climb this stair,” - they said, “it will be your last. You will never climb another.” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “I know it!” and worked on. - </p> - <p> - The old, thin hands cut the stones ill and jaggedly, for the fingers were - stiff and bent. The beauty and the strength of the man was gone. - </p> - <p> - At last, an old, wizened, shrunken face looked out above the rocks. It saw - the eternal mountains rise with walls to the white clouds; but its work - was done. - </p> - <p> - The old hunter folded his tired hands and lay down by the precipice where - he had worked away his life. It was the sleeping time at last. Below him - over the valleys rolled the thick white mist. Once it broke; and through - the gap the dying eyes looked down on the trees and fields of their - childhood. From afar seemed borne to him the cry of his own wild birds, - and he heard the noise of people singing as they danced. And he thought he - heard among them the voices of his old comrades; and he saw far off the - sunlight shine on his early home. And great tears gathered in the hunter’s - eyes. - </p> - <p> - “Ah! they who die there do not die alone,” he cried. - </p> - <p> - Then the mists rolled together again; and he turned his eyes away. - </p> - <p> - “I have sought,” he said, “for long years I have laboured; but I have not - found her. I have not rested, I have not repined, and I have not seen her; - now my strength is gone. Where I lie down worn out other men will stand, - young and fresh. By the steps that I have cut they will climb; by the - stairs that I have built they will mount. They will never know the name of - the man who made them. At the clumsy work they will laugh; when the stones - roll they will curse me. But they will mount, and on my work; they will - climb, and by my stair! They will find her, and through me! And no man - liveth to himself and no man dieth to himself.” - </p> - <p> - The tears rolled from beneath the shrivelled eyelids. If Truth had - appeared above him in the clouds now he could not have seen her, the mist - of death was in his eyes. - </p> - <p> - “My soul hears their glad step coming,” he said; “and they shall mount! - they shall mount!” He raised his shrivelled hand to his eyes. - </p> - <p> - Then slowly from the white sky above, through the still air, came - something falling, falling, falling. Softly it fluttered down, and dropped - on to the breast of the dying man. He felt it with his hands. It was a - feather. He died holding it. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. - </h2> - <p> - She walked upon the beds, and the sweet rich scent arose; and she gathered - her hands full of flowers. Then Duty, with his white clear features, came - and looked at her. Then she ceased from gathering, but she walked away - among the flowers, smiling, and with her hands full. - </p> - <p> - Then Duty, with his still white face, came again, and looked at her; but - she, she turned her head away from him. At last she saw his face, and she - dropped the fairest of the flowers she had held, and walked silently away. - </p> - <p> - Then again he came to her. And she moaned, and bent her head low, and - turned to the gate. But as she went out she looked back at the sunlight on - the faces of the flowers, and wept in anguish. Then she went out, and it - shut behind her for ever; but still in her hand she held of the buds she - had gathered, and the scent was very sweet in the lonely desert. - </p> - <p> - But he followed her. Once more he stood before her with his still, white, - death-like face. And she knew what he had come for: she unbent the - fingers, and let the flowers drop out, the flowers she had loved so, and - walked on without them, with dry, aching eyes. Then for the last time he - came. And she showed him her empty hands, the hands that held nothing now. - But still he looked. Then at length she opened her bosom and took out of - it one small flower she had hidden there, and laid it on the sand. She had - nothing more to give now, and she wandered away, and the grey sand whirled - about her. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. - </h2> - <p> - There is a world in one of the far-off stars, and things do not happen - here as they happen there. - </p> - <p> - In that world were a man and woman; they had one work, and they walked - together side by side on many days, and were friends—and that is a - thing that happens now and then in this world also. - </p> - <p> - But there was something in that star-world that there is not here. There - was a thick wood: where the trees grew closest, and the stems were - interlocked, and the summer sun never shone, there stood a shrine. In the - day all was quiet, but at night, when the stars shone or the moon glinted - on the tree-tops, and all was quiet below, if one crept here quite alone - and knelt on the steps of the stone altar, and uncovering one’s breast, so - wounded it that the blood fell down on the altar steps, then whatever he - who knelt there wished for was granted him. And all this happens, as I - said, because it is a far-off world, and things often happen there as they - do not happen here. - </p> - <p> - Now, the man and woman walked together; and the woman wished well to the - man. One night when the moon was shining so that the leaves of all the - trees glinted, and the waves of the sea were silvery, the woman walked - alone to the forest. It was dark there; the moonlight fell only in little - flecks on the dead leaves under her feet, and the branches were knotted - tight overhead. Farther in it got darker, not even a fleck of moonlight - shone. Then she came to the shrine; she knelt down before it and prayed; - there came no answer. Then she uncovered her breast; with a sharp - two-edged stone that lay there she wounded it. The drops dripped slowly - down on to the stone, and a voice cried, “What do you seek?” - </p> - <p> - She answered, “There is a man; I hold him nearer than anything. I would - give him the best of all blessings.” - </p> - <p> - The voice said, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - The girl said, “I know not, but that which is most good for him I wish him - to have.” - </p> - <p> - The voice said, “Your prayer is answered; he shall have it.” - </p> - <p> - Then she stood up. She covered her breast and held the garment tight upon - it with her hand, and ran out of the forest, and the dead leaves fluttered - under her feet. Out in the moonlight the soft air was blowing, and the - sand glittered on the beach. She ran along the smooth shore, then suddenly - she stood still. Out across the water there was something moving. She - shaded her eyes and looked. It was a boat; it was sliding swiftly over the - moonlit water out to sea. One stood upright in it; the face the moonlight - did not show, but the figure she knew. It was passing swiftly; it seemed - as if no one propelled it; the moonlight’s shimmer did not let her see - clearly, and the boat was far from shore, but it seemed almost as if there - was another figure sitting in the stern. Faster and faster it glided over - the water away, away. She ran along the shore; she came no nearer it. The - garment she had held closed fluttered open; she stretched out her arms, - and the moonlight shone on her long loose hair. - </p> - <p> - Then a voice beside her whispered, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - She cried, “With my blood I bought the best of all gifts for him. I have - come to bring it him! He is going from me!” - </p> - <p> - The voice whispered softly, “Your prayer was answered. It has been given - him.” - </p> - <p> - She cried, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - The voice answered, “It is that he might leave you.” - </p> - <p> - The girl stood still. - </p> - <p> - Far out at sea the boat was lost to sight beyond the moonlight sheen. - </p> - <p> - The voice spoke softly, “Art thou contented?” - </p> - <p> - She said, “I am contented.” - </p> - <p> - At her feet the waves broke in long ripples softly on the shore. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. - </h2> - <h3> - Under a Mimosa-Tree. - </h3> - <p> - As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then I - drew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him and - left him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to left - stretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the heat - beat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And after a - while a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down against my - saddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a curious dream. - </p> - <p> - I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew about - everywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of burden of - the desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched out, and one - stood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay upon the ground, - for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was thick about it, so - that it seemed to have piled over it for centuries. - </p> - <p> - And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me watching. - And I said to him, “What is this huge creature who lies here on the sand?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “This is woman; she that bears men in her body.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled round - her?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has lain - here, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest man - living has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that she - lay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But listen! - Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded memory of man, - on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of Ancient Customs, now - crumbling to decay, are found the marks of her footsteps! Side by side - with his who stands beside her you may trace them; and you know that she - who now lies there once wandered free over the rocks with him.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Why does she lie there now?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-force - found her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her - back was broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it on - with the broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the earth - and the sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down on the - sand with the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has lain here. - And the ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band of Inevitable - Necessity has not been cut.” - </p> - <p> - And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries; - the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Has she ever tried to move?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knows - she cannot rise with the burden on her.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “He cannot. Look—” - </p> - <p> - And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, and - it bound them together. - </p> - <p> - He said, “While she lies there he must stand and look across the desert.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Does he know why he cannot move?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “No.” - </p> - <p> - And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the - band that bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden - rolled on to the ground. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “What is this?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The Age-of-nervous-force - has killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; and silently and - invisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that knife of Mechanical - Invention he has cut the band that bound the burden to her back. The - Inevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open - and her neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the - far-off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were - awake or asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came into - her eyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room. - </p> - <p> - I said, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - He whispered “Hush! the thought has come to her, ‘Might I not rise?’” - </p> - <p> - And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dent - where her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and she - looked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he looked - out across the desert. - </p> - <p> - And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth, - and veins stood out; and I cried; “She is going to rise!” - </p> - <p> - But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was. - </p> - <p> - But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside me - said, “She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her so - long.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Surely he who stands beside her will help her?” - </p> - <p> - And he beside me answered, “He cannot help her: she must help herself. Let - her struggle till she is strong.” - </p> - <p> - And I cried, “At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther from - her, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down.” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “He does not understand. When she moves she draws the - band that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. The - day will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing. - Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close to - her, and look into her eyes with sympathy.” - </p> - <p> - And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the creature - rose an inch from the earth and sank back. - </p> - <p> - And I cried, “Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years have - taken all her strength from her. Can she never move?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered me, “See the light in her eyes!” - </p> - <p> - And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees. - </p> - <p> - And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barren - earth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the red - sand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches of - the tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused over - the dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my saddle. - And in the fierce heat I had another dream. - </p> - <p> - I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the - bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of an - African river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deep - shifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn its - gigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white beard; - and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written Reason. And - he asked her what she wanted; and she said “I am woman; and I am seeking - for the land of Freedom.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “It is before you.” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and a - bank steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in them.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “And beyond that?” - </p> - <p> - She said, “I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my - hand, I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun - shining on them!” - </p> - <p> - He said, “That is the Land of Freedom.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “How am I to get there?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour, - through the water of Suffering. There is no other.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is there no bridge?” - </p> - <p> - He answered. “None.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is the water deep?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “Deep.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is the floor worn?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Have any crossed already?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “Some have tried!” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is there a track to show where the best fording is?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “It has to be made.” - </p> - <p> - She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, “I will go.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they - are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed.” - </p> - <p> - And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions she - wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from her - waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it in a - cloud. And he said, “Take the shoes of dependence off your feet.” - </p> - <p> - And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to - her. - </p> - <p> - And he said, “That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land of - Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had - not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said, - “Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand - you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot find - a bottom do not set your foot.” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “I am ready; let me go.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “No—but stay; what is that—in your breast?” - </p> - <p> - She was silent. - </p> - <p> - He said, “Open it, and let me see.” - </p> - <p> - And she opened it. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drank from - it, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; and his - knees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast with his hands. - </p> - <p> - And Reason said, “Who is he, and what is he doing here?” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “See his little wings—” - </p> - <p> - And Reason said, “Put him down.” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to the - Land of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried him. - In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together there, and - his great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one word only to - me in the desert—‘Passion!’ I have dreamed he might learn to say - ‘Friendship’ in that land.” - </p> - <p> - And Reason said, “Put him down!” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “I will carry him so—with one arm, and with the other - I will fight the water.” - </p> - <p> - He said, “Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you will - forget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down.” He said, “He - will not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his wings - and fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who reach the - Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the bank to help - them shall be Love’s. He will be a man then, not a child. In your breast - he cannot thrive; put him down that he may grow.” - </p> - <p> - And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her, so that the blood - ran down on to the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; and she - covered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the hair - on her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from youth to - age. - </p> - <p> - And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, “For what do - I go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! I am - utterly alone!” - </p> - <p> - And Reason, that old man, said to her, “Silence! What do you hear?” - </p> - <p> - And she listened intently, and she said, “I hear a sound of feet, a - thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat this - way!” - </p> - <p> - He said, “They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! make - a track to the water’s edge! Where you stand now, the ground will be - beaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet.” And he said, “Have - you seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down to the - water-edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and then another, - and then another, and at last with their bodies piled up a bridge is built - and the rest pass over.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “And, of those that come first, some are swept away, and are - heard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?” - </p> - <p> - “And are swept away, and are heard of no more—and what of that?” he - said. - </p> - <p> - “And what of that—” she said. - </p> - <p> - “They make a track to the water’s edge.” - </p> - <p> - “They make a track to the water’s edge—.” And she said, “Over that - bridge which shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “The entire human race.” - </p> - <p> - And the woman grasped her staff. - </p> - <p> - And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river. - </p> - <p> - And I awoke; and all about me was the yellow afternoon light: the sinking - sun lit up the fingers of the milk bushes; and my horse stood by me - quietly feeding. And I turned on my side, and I watched the ants run by - thousands in the red sand. I thought I would go on my way now—the - afternoon was cooler. Then a drowsiness crept over me again, and I laid - back my head and fell asleep. - </p> - <p> - And I dreamed a dream. - </p> - <p> - I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave men, - hand in hand. And they looked into each other’s eyes, and they were not - afraid. - </p> - <p> - And I saw the women also hold each other’s hands. - </p> - <p> - And I said to him beside me, “What place is this?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “This is heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Where is it?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “On earth.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “When shall these things be?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “IN THE FUTURE.” - </p> - <p> - And I awoke, and all about me was the sunset light; and on the low hills - the sun lay, and a delicious coolness had crept over everything; and the - ants were going slowly home. And I walked towards my horse, who stood - quietly feeding. Then the sun passed down behind the hills; but I knew - that the next day he would arise again. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. - </h2> - <p> - A mother sat alone at an open window. Through it came the voices of the - children as they played under the acacia-trees, and the breath of the hot - afternoon air. In and out of the room flew the bees, the wild bees, with - their legs yellow with pollen, going to and from the acacia-trees, droning - all the while. She sat on a low chair before the table and darned. She - took her work from the great basket that stood before her on the table: - some lay on her knee and half covered the book that rested there. She - watched the needle go in and out; and the dreary hum of the bees and the - noise of the children’s voices became a confused murmur in her ears, as - she worked slowly and more slowly. Then the bees, the long-legged - wasp-like fellows who make no honey, flew closer and closer to her head, - droning. Then she grew more and more drowsy, and she laid her hand, with - the stocking over it, on the edge of the table, and leaned her head upon - it. And the voices of the children outside grew more and more dreamy, came - now far, now near; then she did not hear them, but she felt under her - heart where the ninth child lay. Bent forward and sleeping there, with the - bees flying about her head, she had a weird brain-picture; she thought the - bees lengthened and lengthened themselves out and became human creatures - and moved round and round her. Then one came to her softly, saying, “Let - me lay my hand upon thy side where the child sleeps. If I shall touch him - he shall be as I.” - </p> - <p> - She asked, “Who are you?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “I am Health. Whom I touch will have always the red blood - dancing in his veins; he will not know weariness nor pain; life will be a - long laugh to him.” - </p> - <p> - “No,” said another, “let me touch; for I am Wealth. If I touch him - material care shall not feed on him. He shall live on the blood and sinews - of his fellow-men, if he will; and what his eye lusts for, his hand will - have. He shall not know ‘I want.’” And the child lay still like lead. - </p> - <p> - And another said, “Let me touch him: I am Fame. The man I touch, I lead to - a high hill where all men may see him. When he dies he is not forgotten, - his name rings down the centuries, each echoes it on to his fellows. Think—not - to be forgotten through the ages!” - </p> - <p> - And the mother lay breathing steadily, but in the brain-picture they - pressed closer to her. - </p> - <p> - “Let me touch the child,” said one, “for I am Love. If I touch him he - shall not walk through life alone. In the greatest dark, when he puts out - his hand he shall find another hand by it. When the world is against him, - another shall say, ‘You and I.’” And the child trembled. - </p> - <p> - But another pressed close and said, “Let me touch; for I am Talent. I can - do all things—that have been done before. I touch the soldier, the - statesman, the thinker, and the politician who succeed; and the writer who - is never before his time, and never behind it. If I touch the child he - shall not weep for failure.” - </p> - <p> - About the mother’s head the bees were flying, touching her with their long - tapering limbs; and, in her brain-picture, out of the shadow of the room - came one with sallow face, deep-lined, the cheeks drawn into hollows, and - a mouth smiling quiveringly. He stretched out his hand. And the mother - drew back, and cried, “Who are you?” He answered nothing; and she looked - up between his eyelids. And she said, “What can you give the child—health?” - And he said, “The man I touch, there wakes up in his blood a burning - fever, that shall lick his blood as fire. The fever that I will give him - shall be cured when his life is cured.” - </p> - <p> - “You give wealth?” - </p> - <p> - He shook his head. “The man whom I touch, when he bends to pick up gold, - he sees suddenly a light over his head in the sky; while he looks up to - see it, the gold slips from between his fingers, or sometimes another - passing takes it from them.” - </p> - <p> - “Fame?” - </p> - <p> - He answered, “likely not. For the man I touch there is a path traced out - in the sand by a finger which no man sees. That he must follow. Sometimes - it leads almost to the top, and then turns down suddenly into the valley. - He must follow it, though none else sees the tracing.” - </p> - <p> - “Love?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “He shall hunger for it—but he shall not find it. When he - stretches out his arms to it, and would lay his heart against a thing he - loves, then, far off along the horizon he shall see a light play. He must - go towards it. The thing he loves will not journey with him; he must - travel alone. When he presses somewhat to his burning heart, crying, - ‘Mine, mine, my own!’ he shall hear a voice—‘Renounce! renounce! - this is not thine!’” - </p> - <p> - “He shall succeed?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “He shall fail. When he runs with others they shall reach the - goal before him. For strange voices shall call to him and strange lights - shall beckon him, and he must wait and listen. And this shall be the - strangest: far off across the burning sands where, to other men, there is - only the desert’s waste, he shall see a blue sea! On that sea the sun - shines always, and the water is blue as burning amethyst, and the foam is - white on the shore. A great land rises from it, and he shall see upon the - mountain-tops burning gold.” - </p> - <p> - The mother said, “He shall reach it?” - </p> - <p> - And he smiled curiously. - </p> - <p> - She said, “It is real?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “What IS real?” - </p> - <p> - And she looked up between his half-closed eyelids, and said, “Touch.” - </p> - <p> - And he leaned forward and laid his hand upon the sleeper, and whispered to - it, smiling; and this only she heard—“This shall be thy reward—that - the ideal shall be real to thee.” - </p> - <p> - And the child trembled; but the mother slept on heavily and her - brain-picture vanished. But deep within her the antenatal thing that lay - here had a dream. In those eyes that had never seen the day, in that - half-shaped brain was a sensation of light! Light—that it never had - seen. Light—that perhaps it never should see. Light—that - existed somewhere! - </p> - <p> - And already it had its reward: the Ideal was real to it. - </p> - <p> - London. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. - </h2> - <h3> - “I cannot forgive—I love.” - </h3> - <p> - There are four bare walls; there is a Christ upon the walls, in red, - carrying his cross; there is a Blessed Bambino with the face rubbed out; - there is Madonna in blue and red; there are Roman soldiers and a Christ - with tied hands. All the roof is gone; overhead is the blue, blue Italian - sky; the rain has beaten holes in the walls, and the plaster is peeling - from it. The chapel stands here alone upon the promontory, and by day and - by night the sea breaks at its feet. Some say that it was set here by the - monks from the island down below, that they might bring their sick here in - times of deadly plague. Some say that it was set here that the passing - monks and friars, as they hurried by upon the roadway, might stop and say - their prayers here. Now no one stops to pray here, and the sick come no - more to be healed. - </p> - <p> - Behind it runs the old Roman road. If you climb it and come and sit there - alone on a hot sunny day you may almost hear at last the clink of the - Roman soldiers upon the pavement, and the sound of that older time, as you - sit there in the sun, when Hannibal and his men broke through the - brushwood, and no road was. - </p> - <p> - Now it is very quiet. Sometimes a peasant girl comes riding by between her - panniers, and you hear the mule’s feet beat upon the bricks of the - pavement; sometimes an old woman goes past with a bundle of weeds upon her - head, or a brigand-looking man hurries by with a bundle of sticks in his - hand; but for the rest the Chapel lies here alone upon the promontory, - between the two bays and hears the sea break at its feet. - </p> - <p> - I came here one winter’s day when the midday sun shone hot on the bricks - of the Roman road. I was weary, and the way seemed steep. I walked into - the chapel to the broken window, and looked out across the bay. Far off, - across the blue, blue water, were towns and villages, hanging white and - red dots, upon the mountain-sides, and the blue mountains rose up into the - sky, and now stood out from it and now melted back again. - </p> - <p> - The mountains seemed calling to me, but I knew there would never be a - bridge built from them to me; never, never, never! I shaded my eyes with - my hand and turned away. I could not bear to look at them. - </p> - <p> - I walked through the ruined Chapel, and looked at the Christ in red - carrying his cross, and the Blessed rubbed-out Bambino, and the Roman - soldiers, and the folded hands, and the reed; and I went and sat down in - the open porch upon a stone. At my feet was the small bay, with its white - row of houses buried among the olive trees; the water broke in a long, - thin, white line of foam along the shore; and I leaned my elbows on my - knees. I was tired, very tired; tired with a tiredness that seemed older - than the heat of the day and the shining of the sun on the bricks of the - Roman road; and I lay my head upon my knees; I heard the breaking of the - water on the rocks three hundred feet below, and the rustling of the wind - among the olive trees and the ruined arches, and then I fell asleep there. - I had a dream. - </p> - <p> - A man cried up to God, and God sent down an angel to help him; and the - angel came back and said, “I cannot help that man.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “How is it with him?” - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “He cries out continually that one has injured him; - and he would forgive him and he cannot.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “What have you done for him?” - </p> - <p> - The angel said, “All—. I took him by the hand, and I said, ‘See, - when other men speak ill of that man do you speak well of him; secretly, - in ways he shall not know, serve him; if you have anything you value share - it with him, so, serving him, you will at last come to feel possession in - him, and you will forgive.’ And he said, ‘I will do it.’ Afterwards, as I - passed by in the dark of night, I heard one crying out, ‘I have done all. - It helps nothing! My speaking well of him helps me nothing! If I share my - heart’s blood with him, is the burning within me less? I cannot forgive; I - cannot forgive! Oh, God, I cannot forgive!’ - </p> - <p> - “I said to him, ‘See here, look back on all your past. See from your - childhood all smallness, all indirectness that has been yours; look well - at it, and in its light do you not see every man your brother? Are you so - sinless you have right to hate?’ - </p> - <p> - “He looked, and said, ‘Yes, you are right; I too have failed, and I - forgive my fellow. Go, I am satisfied; I have forgiven;’ and he laid him - down peacefully and folded his hands on his breast, and I thought it was - well with him. But scarcely had my wings rustled and I turned to come up - here, when I heard one crying out on earth again, ‘I cannot forgive! I - cannot forgive! Oh, God, God, I cannot forgive! It is better to die than - to hate! I cannot forgive! I cannot forgive!’ And I went and stood outside - his door in the dark, and I heard him cry, ‘I have not sinned so, not so! - If I have torn my fellows’ flesh ever so little, I have kneeled down and - kissed the wound with my mouth till it was healed. I have not willed that - any soul shall be lost through hate of me. If they have but fancied that I - wronged them I have lain down on the ground before them that they might - tread on me, and so, seeing my humiliation, forgive and not be lost - through hating me; they have not cared that my soul should be lost; they - have not willed to save me; they have not tried that I should forgive - them!’ - </p> - <p> - “I said to him, ‘See here, be thou content; do not forgive: forget this - soul and its injury; go on your way. In the next world perhaps—’ - </p> - <p> - “He cried, ‘Go from me, you understand nothing! What is the next world to - me! I am lost now, today. I cannot see the sunlight shine, the dust is in - my throat, the sand is in my eyes! Go from me, you know nothing! Oh, once - again before I die to see that the world is beautiful! Oh, God, God, I - cannot live and not love. I cannot live and hate. Oh, God, God, God!’ So I - left him crying out and came back here.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “This man’s soul must be saved.” - </p> - <p> - And the angel said “How?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Go down you, and save it.” - </p> - <p> - The angel said, “What more shall I do?” - </p> - <p> - Then God bent down and whispered in the angel’s ear, and the angel spread - out its wings and went down to earth. - </p> - <p> - And partly I woke, sitting there upon the broken stone with my head on my - knee; but I was too weary to rise. I heard the wind roam through the olive - trees and among the ruined arches, and then I slept again. - </p> - <p> - The angel went down and found the man with the bitter heart and took him - by the hand, and led him to a certain spot. - </p> - <p> - Now the man wist not where it was the angel would take him nor what he - would show him there. And when they came the angel shaded the man’s eyes - with his wing, and when he moved it the man saw somewhat on the earth - before them. For God had given it to that angel to unclothe a human soul; - to take from it all those outward attributes of form, and colour, and age, - and sex, whereby one man is known from among his fellows and is marked off - from the rest, and the soul lay before them, bare, as a man turning his - eye inwards beholds himself. - </p> - <p> - They saw its past, its childhood, the tiny life with the dew upon it; they - saw its youth when the dew was melting, and the creature raised its - Lilliputian mouth to drink from a cup too large for it, and they saw how - the water spilt; they saw its hopes that were never realized; they saw its - hours of intellectual blindness, men call sin; they saw its hours of - all-radiating insight, which men call righteousness; they saw its hour of - strength, when it leaped to its feet crying, “I am omnipotent;” its hour - of weakness, when it fell to the earth and grasped dust only; they saw - what it might have been, but never would be. - </p> - <p> - The man bent forward. - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - He answered, “It is I! it is myself!” And he went forward as if he would - have lain his heart against it; but the angel held him back and covered - his eyes. - </p> - <p> - Now God had given power to the angel further to unclothe that soul, to - take from it all those outward attributes of time and place and - circumstance whereby the individual life is marked off from the life of - the whole. - </p> - <p> - Again the angel uncovered the man’s eyes, and he looked. He saw before him - that which in its tiny drop reflects the whole universe; he saw that which - marks within itself the step of the furthest star, and tells how the - crystal grows under ground where no eye has seen it; that which is where - the germ in the egg stirs; which moves the outstretched fingers of the - little newborn babe, and keeps the leaves of the trees pointing upward; - which moves where the jelly-fish sail alone on the sunny seas, and is - where the lichens form on the mountains’ rocks. - </p> - <p> - And the man looked. - </p> - <p> - And the angel touched him. - </p> - <p> - But the man bowed his head and shuddered. He whispered—“It is God!” - </p> - <p> - And the angel re-covered the man’s eyes. And when he uncovered them there - was one walking from them a little way off;—for the angel had - re-clothed the soul in its outward form and vesture—and the man knew - who it was. - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “Do you know him?” - </p> - <p> - And the man said, “I know him,” and he looked after the figure. - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “Have you forgiven him?” - </p> - <p> - But the man said, “How beautiful my brother is!” - </p> - <p> - And the angel looked into the man’s eyes, and he shaded his own face with - his wing from the light. He laughed softly and went up to God. - </p> - <p> - But the men were together on earth. - </p> - <p> - I awoke. - </p> - <p> - The blue, blue sky was over my head, and the waves were breaking below on - the shore. I walked through the little chapel, and I saw the Madonna in - blue and red, and the Christ carrying his cross, and the Roman soldiers - with the rod, and the Blessed Bambino with its broken face; and then I - walked down the sloping rock to the brick pathway. The olive trees stood - up on either side of the road, their black berries and pale-green leaves - stood out against the sky; and the little ice-plants hung from the - crevices in the stone wall. It seemed to me as if it must have rained - while I was asleep. I thought I had never seen the heavens and the earth - look so beautiful before. I walked down the road. The old, old, old - tiredness was gone. - </p> - <p> - Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she had - two large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the road - before me. - </p> - <p> - I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and to - have held his hand—only, he would not have known why. - </p> - <p> - Alassio, Italy. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - VIII. LIFE’S GIFTS. - </h2> - <p> - I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, and - held in each hand a gift—in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And - she said to the woman, “Choose!” - </p> - <p> - And the woman waited long: and she said, “Freedom!” - </p> - <p> - And Life said, “Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, ‘Love,’ I would - have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone from thee, - and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I shall return. - In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand.” - </p> - <p> - I heard the woman laugh in her sleep. - </p> - <p> - London. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - IX. THE ARTIST’S SECRET. - </h2> - <p> - There was an artist once, and he painted a picture. Other artists had - colours richer and rarer, and painted more notable pictures. He painted - his with one colour, there was a wonderful red glow on it; and the people - went up and down, saying, “We like the picture, we like the glow.” - </p> - <p> - The other artists came and said, “Where does he get his colour from?” They - asked him; and he smiled and said, “I cannot tell you”; and worked on with - his head bent low. - </p> - <p> - And one went to the far East and bought costly pigments, and made a rare - colour and painted, but after a time the picture faded. Another read in - the old books, and made a colour rich and rare, but when he had put it on - the picture it was dead. - </p> - <p> - But the artist painted on. Always the work got redder and redder, and the - artist grew whiter and whiter. At last one day they found him dead before - his picture, and they took him up to bury him. The other men looked about - in all the pots and crucibles, but they found nothing they had not. - </p> - <p> - And when they undressed him to put his grave-clothes on him, they found - above his left breast the mark of a wound—it was an old, old wound, - that must have been there all his life, for the edges were old and - hardened; but Death, who seals all things, had drawn the edges together, - and closed it up. - </p> - <p> - And they buried him. And still the people went about saying, “Where did he - find his colour from?” - </p> - <p> - And it came to pass that after a while the artist was forgotten—but - the work lived. - </p> - <p> - St. Leonards-on-Sea. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - X. “I THOUGHT I STOOD.” - </h2> - <p> - I thought I stood in Heaven before God’s throne, and God asked me what I - had come for. I said I had come to arraign my brother, Man. - </p> - <p> - God said, “What has he done?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “He has taken my sister, Woman, and has stricken her, and wounded - her, and thrust her out into the streets; she lies there prostrate. His - hands are red with blood. I am here to arraign him; that the kingdom be - taken from him, because he is not worthy, and given unto me. My hands are - pure.” - </p> - <p> - I showed them. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Thy hands are pure.—Lift up thy robe.” - </p> - <p> - I raised it; my feet were red, blood-red, as if I had trodden in wine. - </p> - <p> - God said, “How is this?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Dear Lord, the streets on earth are full of mire. If I should - walk straight on in them my outer robe might be bespotted, you see how - white it is! Therefore I pick my way.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “On what?” - </p> - <p> - I was silent, and I let my robe fall. I wrapped my mantle about my head. I - went out softly. I was afraid that the angels would see me. - </p> - <p> - II. - </p> - <p> - Once more I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and another. We held fast by - one another; we were very tired. We looked up at the great gates; the - angels opened them, and we went in. The mud was on our garments. We walked - across the marble floor, and up to the great throne. Then the angels - divided us. Her, they set upon the top step, but me, upon the bottom; for, - they said, “Last time this woman came here she left red foot-marks on the - floor; we had to wash them out with our tears. Let her not go up.” - </p> - <p> - Then she, with whom I came, looked back, and stretched out her hand to me; - and I went and stood beside her. And the angels, they, the shining ones - who never sinned and never suffered, walked by us to and fro and up and - down; I think we should have felt a little lonely there if it had not been - for one another, the angels were so bright. - </p> - <p> - God asked me what I had come for; and I drew my sister forward a little - that he might see her. - </p> - <p> - God said, “How is it you are here together today?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “She was upon the ground in the street, and they passed over her; - I lay down by her, and she put her arms around my neck, and so I lifted - her, and we two rose together.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Whom are you now come to accuse before me?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “We are come to accuse no man.” - </p> - <p> - And God bent, and said, “My children—what is it that ye seek?” - </p> - <p> - And she beside me drew my hand that I should speak for both. - </p> - <p> - I said, “We have come to ask that thou shouldst speak to Man, our brother, - and give us a message for him that he might understand, and that he might—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Go, take the message down to him!” - </p> - <p> - I said, “But what is the message?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Upon your hearts it is written; take it down to him.” - </p> - <p> - And we turned to go; the angels went with us to the door. They looked at - us. - </p> - <p> - And one said—“Ai! but their dresses are beautiful!” - </p> - <p> - And the other said, “I thought it was mire when they came in, but see, it - is all golden!” - </p> - <p> - But another said, “Hush, it is the light from their faces!” - </p> - <p> - And we went down to him. - </p> - <p> - Alassio, Italy. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. - </h2> - <p> - In the dark one night I lay upon my bed. I heard the policeman’s feet beat - on the pavement; I heard the wheels of carriages roll home from houses of - entertainment; I heard a woman’s laugh below my window—and then I - fell asleep. And in the dark I dreamt a dream. I dreamt God took my soul - to Hell. - </p> - <p> - Hell was a fair place; the water of the lake was blue. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “I like this place.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, dost thou!” - </p> - <p> - Birds sang, turf came to the water-edge, and trees grew from it. Away off - among the trees I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of many - delicate colours and clung to them, and they were tall and graceful and - had yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided in and - out among the trees, and over their heads hung yellow fruit like large - pears of melted gold. - </p> - <p> - I said, “It is very fair; I would go up and taste the—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Wait.” - </p> - <p> - And after a while I noticed a very fair woman pass: she looked this way - and that, and drew down a branch, and it seemed she kissed the fruit upon - it softly, and went on her way, and her dress made no rustle as she passed - over the grass. And when I saw her no more, from among the stems came - another woman fair as she had been, in a delicate tinted robe; she looked - this way and that. When she saw no one there she drew down the fruit, and - when she had looked over it to find a place, she put her mouth to it - softly, and went away. And I saw other and other women come, making no - noise, and they glided away also over the grass. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “What are they doing?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are poisoning.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “How?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They touch it with their lips, when they have made a tiny wound - in it with their fore-teeth they set in it that which is under their - tongues: they close it with their lip—that no man may see the place, - and pass on.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “That another may not eat.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “But if they poison all then none dare eat; what do they - gain?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Nothing.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Are they not afraid they themselves may bite where another has - bitten?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are afraid. In Hell all men fear.” - </p> - <p> - He called me further. And the water of the lake seemed less blue. - </p> - <p> - Then, to the right among the trees were men working. And I said to God, “I - should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very fruitful place, - the grass is so green.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Nothing grows in the garden they are making.” - </p> - <p> - We stood looking; and I saw them working among the bushes, digging holes, - but in them they set nothing; and when they had covered them with sticks - and earth each went a way off and sat behind the bushes watching; and I - noticed that as each walked he set his foot down carefully looking where - he trod. I said to God, “What are they doing?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because each thinks that when his brother falls he will rise.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How will he rise?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “He will not rise.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Are these men sane?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are not sane; there is no sane man in Hell.” - </p> - <p> - And he told me to come further. - </p> - <p> - And I looked where I trod. - </p> - <p> - And we came where Hell opened into a plain, and a great house stood there. - Marble pillars upheld the roof, and white marble steps let up to it. The - wind of heaven blew through it. Only at the back hung a thick curtain. - Fair men and women there feasted at long tables. They danced, and I saw - the robes of women flutter in the air and heard the laugh of strong men. - What they feasted with was wine; they drew it from large jars which stood - somewhat in the background, and I saw the wine sparkle as they drew it. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “I should like to go up and drink.” And God said, - “Wait.” And I saw men coming in to the Banquet House; they came in from - the back and lifted the corner of the curtain at the sides and crept in - quickly; and they let the curtain fall behind them; they bore great jars - they could hardly carry. And the men and women crowded round them, and the - new-comers opened their jars and gave them of the wine to drink; and I saw - that the women drank even more greedily than the men. And when others had - well drunken they set the jars among the old ones beside the wall, and - took their places at the table. And I saw that some of the jars were very - old and mildewed and dusty, but others had still drops of new must on them - and shone from the furnace. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “What is that?” For amid the sound of the singing, and - over the dancing of feet, and over the laughing across the wine-cups I - heard a cry. - </p> - <p> - And God said, “Stand a way off.” - </p> - <p> - And he took me where I saw both sides of the curtain. Behind the house was - the wine-press where the wine was made. I saw the grapes crushed, and I - heard them cry. I said, “Do not they on the other side hear it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “The curtain is thick; they are feasting.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “But the men who came in last. They saw?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They let the curtain fall behind them—and they forget!” - </p> - <p> - I said, “How came they by their jars of wine?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “In the treading of the press these are they who came to the - top; they have climbed out over the edge, and filled their jars from - below, and have gone into the house.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “And if they had fallen as they climbed—?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They had been wine.” - </p> - <p> - I stood a way off watching in the sunshine, and I shivered. - </p> - <p> - God lay in the sunshine watching too. - </p> - <p> - Then there rose one among the feasters, who said, “My brethren, let us - pray!” - </p> - <p> - And all the men and women rose: and strong men bowed their heads, and - mothers folded their little children’s hands together, and turned their - faces upwards, to the roof. And he who first had risen stood at the table - head, and stretched out both his hands, and his beard was long and white, - and his sleeves and his beard had been dipped in wine; and because the - sleeves were wide and full they held much wine, and it dropped down upon - the floor. - </p> - <p> - And he cried, “My brothers and my sisters, let us pray.” - </p> - <p> - And all the men and women answered, “Let us pray.” - </p> - <p> - He cried, “For this fair banquet-house we thank thee, Lord.” - </p> - <p> - And all the men and women said “We thank thee, Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Thine is this house, dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Thine is this house.” - </p> - <p> - “For us hast thou made it.” - </p> - <p> - “For us.” - </p> - <p> - “Oh, fill our jars with wine, dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Our jars with wine.” - </p> - <p> - “Give peace and plenty in our time, dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Peace and plenty in our time”—I said to God, “Whom is it they are - talking to?” God said, “Do I know whom they speak of?” And I saw they were - looking up at the roof; but out in the sunshine, God lay. - </p> - <p> - “—dear Lord!” - </p> - <p> - “Dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Our children’s children, Lord, shall rise and call thee blessed.” - </p> - <p> - “Our children’s children, Lord.”—I said to God, “The grapes are - crying!” God said, “Still! I hear them”—“shall call thee blessed.” - </p> - <p> - “Shall call thee blessed.” - </p> - <p> - “Pour forth more wine upon us, Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “More wine.” - </p> - <p> - “More wine.” - </p> - <p> - “More wine!” - </p> - <p> - “Wine!!” - </p> - <p> - “Wine!!” - </p> - <p> - “Wine!!!” - </p> - <p> - “Dear Lord!” - </p> - <p> - Then men and women sat down and the feast went on. And mothers poured out - wine and fed their little children with it, and men held up the cup to - women’s lips and cried, “Beloved! drink,” and women filled their lovers’ - flagons and held them up; and yet the feast went on. - </p> - <p> - And after a while I looked, and I saw the curtain that hung behind the - house moving. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Is it a wind?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “A wind.” - </p> - <p> - And it seemed to me, that against the curtain I saw pressed the forms of - men and women. And after a while the feasters saw it move, and they - whispered, one to another. Then some rose and gathered the most worn-out - cups, and into them they put what was left at the bottom of other vessels. - Mothers whispered to their children, “Do not drink all, save a little drop - when you have drunk.” And when they had collected all the dregs they - slipped the cups out under the bottom of the curtain without lifting it. - After a while the curtain left off moving. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How is it so quiet?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “They have gone away to drink it.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “They drink it—their own!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It comes from this side of the curtain, and they are very - thirsty.” - </p> - <p> - Then the feast went on, and after a while I saw a small, white hand - slipped in below the curtain’s edge along the floor; and it motioned - towards the wine jars. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “Why is that hand so bloodless?” - </p> - <p> - And God said, “It is a wine-pressed hand.” - </p> - <p> - And men saw it and started to their feet; and women cried, and ran to the - great wine jars, and threw their arms around them, and cried, “Ours, our - own, our beloved!” and twined their long hair about them. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why are they frightened of that one small hand?” - </p> - <p> - God answered, “Because it is so white.” - </p> - <p> - And men ran in a great company towards the curtain, and struggled there. I - heard them strike upon the floor. And when they moved away the curtain - hung smooth and still; and there was a small stain upon the floor. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why do they not wash it out?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They cannot.” - </p> - <p> - And they took small stones and put them down along the edge of the curtain - to keep it down. Then the men and women sat down again at the tables. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “Will those stones keep it down?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “What think you?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “If the wind blew?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “If the wind blew?” - </p> - <p> - And the feast went on. - </p> - <p> - And suddenly I cried to God, “If one should rise among them, even of - themselves, and start up from the table and should cast away his cup, and - cry, ‘My brothers and my sisters, stay! what is it that we drink?’—and - with his sword should cut in two the curtain, and holding wide the - fragments, cry, ‘Brothers, sisters, see! it is not wine, not wine! not - wine! My brothers, oh, my sisters!’ and he should overturn the—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Be still!—, see there.” - </p> - <p> - I looked: before the banquet-house, among the grass, I saw a row of - mounds, flowers covered them, and gilded marble stood at their heads. I - asked God what they were. - </p> - <p> - He answered, “They are the graves of those who rose up at the feast and - cried.” - </p> - <p> - And I asked God how they came there. - </p> - <p> - He said, “The men of the banquet-house rose and cast them down backwards.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Who buried them?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “The men who cast them down.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “How came it that they threw them down, and then set marble over - them?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because the bones cried out, they covered them.” - </p> - <p> - And among the grass and weeds I saw an unburied body lying; and I asked - God why it was. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because it was thrown down only yesterday. In a little while, - when the flesh shall have fallen from its bones, they will bury it also, - and plant flowers over it.” - </p> - <p> - And still the feast went on. - </p> - <p> - Men and women sat at the tables quaffing great bowls. Some rose, and threw - their arms about each other, and danced and sang. They pledged each other - in the wine, and kissed each other’s blood-red lips. - </p> - <p> - Higher and higher grew the revels. - </p> - <p> - Men, when they had drunk till they could no longer, threw what was left in - their glasses up to the roof, and let it fall back in cascades. Women dyed - their children’s garments in the wine, and fed them on it till their tiny - mouths were red. Sometimes, as the dancers whirled, they overturned a - vessel, and their garments were bespattered. Children sat upon the floor - with great bowls of wine, and swam rose-leaves on it, for boats. They put - their hands in the wine and blew large red bubbles. - </p> - <p> - And higher and higher grew the revels, and wilder the dancing, and louder - and louder the singing. But here and there among the revellers were those - who did not revel. I saw that at the tables here and there were men who - sat with their elbows on the board and hands shading their eyes; they - looked into the wine-cup beneath them, and did not drink. And when one - touched them lightly on the shoulder, bidding them to rise and dance and - sing, they started, and then looked down, and sat there watching the wine - in the cup, but they did not move. - </p> - <p> - And here and there I saw a woman sit apart. The others danced and sang and - fed their children, but she sat silent with her head aside as though she - listened. Her little children plucked her gown; she did not see them; she - was listening to some sound, but she did not stir. - </p> - <p> - The revels grew higher. Men drank till they could drink no longer, and lay - their heads upon the table sleeping heavily. Women who could dance no more - leaned back on the benches with their heads against their lovers’ - shoulders. Little children, sick with wine, lay down upon the edges of - their mothers’ robes. Sometimes, a man rose suddenly, and as he staggered - struck the tables and overthrew the benches; some leaned upon the - balustrades sick unto death. Here and there one rose who staggered to the - wine jars and lay down beside them. He turned the wine tap, but sleep - overcame him as he lay there, and the wine ran out. - </p> - <p> - Slowly the thin, red stream ran across the white marbled floor; it reached - the stone steps; slowly, slowly, slowly it trickled down, from step to - step, from step to step: then it sank into the earth. A thin white smoke - rose up from it. - </p> - <p> - I was silent; I could not breathe; but God called me to come further. - </p> - <p> - And after I had travelled for a while I came where on seven hills lay the - ruins of a mighty banquet-house larger and stronger than the one which I - had seen standing. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “What did the men who built it here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They feasted.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “On what?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “On wine.” - </p> - <p> - And I looked; and it seemed to me that behind the ruins lay still a large - circular hollow within the earth where a foot of the wine-press had stood. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How came it that this large house fell?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because the earth was sodden.” - </p> - <p> - He called me to come further. - </p> - <p> - And at last we came upon a hill where blue waters played, and white marble - lay upon the earth. I said to God, “What was here once?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “A pleasure house.” - </p> - <p> - I looked, and at my feet great pillars lay. I cried aloud for joy to God, - “The marble blossoms!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, ‘twas a fairy house. There has not been one like to it, nor - ever shall be. The pillars and the porticoes blossomed; and the wine cups - were as gathered flowers: on this side all the curtain was broidered with - fair designs, the stitching was of gold.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How came it that it fell?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “On the side of the wine-press it was dark.” - </p> - <p> - And as we travelled, we came where lay a mighty ridge of sand, and a dark - river ran there; and there rose two vast mounds. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “They are very mighty.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, exceeding great.” - </p> - <p> - And I listened. - </p> - <p> - God asked me what I was listening to. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “A sound of weeping, and I hear the sound of strokes, but I - cannot tell whence it comes.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is the echo of the wine-press lingering still among the - coping-stones upon the mounds. A banquet-house stood here.” - </p> - <p> - And he called me to come further. - </p> - <p> - Upon a barren hill-side, where the soil was arid, God called me to stand - still. And I looked around. - </p> - <p> - God said, “There was a feasting-house here once upon a time.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “I see no mark of any!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “There was not left one stone upon another that has not been - thrown down.” And I looked round; and on the hill-side was a lonely grave. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “What lies there?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “A vine truss, bruised in the wine-press!” - </p> - <p> - And at the head of the grave stood a cross, and on its foot lay a crown of - thorns. - </p> - <p> - And as I turned to go, I looked backward. The wine-press and the - banquet-house were gone; but the grave yet stood. - </p> - <p> - And when I came to the edge of a long ridge there opened out before me a - wide plain of sand. And when I looked downward I saw great stones lie - shattered; and the desert sand had half covered them over. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “There is writing on them, but I cannot read it.” - </p> - <p> - And God blew aside the desert sand, and I read the writing: “Weighed in - the balance, and found—” but the last word was wanting. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “It was a banquet-house?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, a banquet-house.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “There was a wine-press here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “There was a wine-press.” - </p> - <p> - I asked no further question. I was very weary; I shaded my eyes with my - hand, and looked through the pink evening light. - </p> - <p> - Far off, across the sand, I saw two figures standing. With wings upfolded - high above their heads, and stern faces set, neither man nor beast, they - looked out across the desert sand, watching, watching, watching! I did not - ask God what they were, for I knew what the answer would be. - </p> - <p> - And, further and yet further, in the evening light, I looked with my - shaded eyes. - </p> - <p> - Far off, where the sands were thick and heavy, I saw a solitary pillar - standing: the crown had fallen, and the sand had buried it. On the broken - pillar sat a grey owl-of-the-desert, with folded wings; and in the evening - light I saw the desert fox creep past it, trailing his brush across the - sand. - </p> - <p> - Further, yet further, as I looked across the desert, I saw the sand - gathered into heaps as though it covered something. - </p> - <p> - I cried to God, “Oh, I am so weary.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “You have seen only one half of Hell.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “I cannot see more, I am afraid of Hell. In my own narrow little - path I dare not walk because I think that one has dug a pitfall for me; - and if I put my hand to take a fruit I draw it back again because I think - it has been kissed already. If I look out across the plains, the mounds - are burial heaps; and when I pass among the stones I hear them crying - aloud. When I see men dancing I hear the time beaten in with sobs; and - their wine is living! Oh, I cannot bear Hell!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Where will you go?” - </p> - <p> - I said “To the earth from which I came; it was better there.” - </p> - <p> - And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Come, and I will show you Heaven.” - </p> - <p> - ... - </p> - <p> - And partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages had - died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the policeman’s - tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great hand lay upon - my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed from side to side; - and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed. - </p> - <p> - God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The gulf, - it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two bridges crossing it - that both sloped upwards. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Is there no other way by which men cross it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards.” - </p> - <p> - I asked God what the bridges’ names were. - </p> - <p> - God said, “What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the - Beautiful, if you will—you will yet not understand them.” - </p> - <p> - I asked God how it was I could not see the third. - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is seen only by those who climb it.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Do they all lead to one heaven?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “All Heaven is one: nevertheless some parts are higher than - others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the - lower; but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the - higher; nevertheless the light is all one.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw over the bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other, - countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it. - </p> - <p> - God said, “It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God - how it was. - </p> - <p> - He said, “No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, - when they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there is - no land beyond.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Has none ever returned?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “No; once in Heaven always in Heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors—for - Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open—the posts rose - up so high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there - were any. - </p> - <p> - And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be - engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell.” - </p> - <p> - And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every - hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks - and stones. I asked God how it was. - </p> - <p> - But God did not answer me. - </p> - <p> - I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be otherwise. And - after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, and - I asked God if the sun were not going to rise. - </p> - <p> - God said, “No; we are coming to where the people are.” - </p> - <p> - And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning day; - and on the rock were flowers blooming, and trees blossomed at the - roadside; and streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds - singing; I asked God where they were. - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is the people calling to one another.” - </p> - <p> - And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they walked. - I asked God how it was they wore no covering. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover any - part.” - </p> - <p> - And I asked God what they were doing. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Shining on the plants that they may grow.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw that some were working in companies, and some alone, but most - were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally - there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was. - </p> - <p> - God said, “When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most - perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless, - there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many - kinds of light.” - </p> - <p> - And one from among the people came running towards me; and when he came - near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were little - children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told God what I - felt; God said, “All men feel so in Heaven when another comes towards - them.” - </p> - <p> - And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright - lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his companion - answered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She said, “He must - have water”; and she took some in her hands, and fed me (I had been afraid - to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered fruit for me, and gave - it me to eat. They said, “We shone long to make it ripen,” and they - laughed together as they saw me eat it. - </p> - <p> - The man said, “He is very weary; he must sleep” (for I had not dared to - sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his companion’s knee and spread her - hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought I heard - the birds calling across me. And when I woke it was like early morning, - with the dew on everything. - </p> - <p> - And the man took my hand and led me to a hidden spot among the rocks. The - ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and there - was a little stream running. He said, “This is a garden we are making, no - one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the ground has cracked - with our shining, and this little stream is bursting out. See, the flowers - are growing.” - </p> - <p> - And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers with - dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my hands - shone as I held them. He said, “This garden is for all when it is - finished.” And he went away to his companion, and I went out into the - great pathway. - </p> - <p> - And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And - when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows - were standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter - than anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said, - “Hush! Our singing bird.” - </p> - <p> - And I asked why the eyes shone so. - </p> - <p> - And he said, “They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone - so.” - </p> - <p> - And the people gathered closer round him. - </p> - <p> - And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees of - light with great laughter. When they came close I saw they carried one - without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so bright - that I could not look at them. - </p> - <p> - And I said to one, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - He answered, “This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and - feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the - maimed stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in - Heaven. We pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat. No - one is allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all;” and they went on - among the trees. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “This is a strange land. I had thought blindness and - maimedness were great evils. Here men make them to a rejoicing.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!” - </p> - <p> - And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand. I said to - God, “Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have - dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again. I will stay here - and shine.” And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as - others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light. I - said to God, “How is it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against - none?” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Yes—“; and I thought—“Now is the time when I will - tell God, that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly - my fellow-men have treated me. How they have misunderstood me. How I have - intended to be magnanimous and generous to them, and they—.” And I - began to tell God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering - under my breath, and I was silent. - </p> - <p> - And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my mantle about me and - followed him. - </p> - <p> - And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at last - to a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the clouds. - And on its side I saw men working; and they picked at the earth with huge - picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily. And some laboured in - companies, but most laboured singly. And I saw the drops of sweat fall - from their foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out with labour. - And I said, “I had not thought in heaven to see men labour so!” And I - thought of the garden where men sang and loved, and I wondered that any - should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side. And I saw upon the - foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the drops which fell from - them as they worked had light. - </p> - <p> - And I asked God what they were seeking for. - </p> - <p> - And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small stones, - which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that the light - of the stones and the light on the men’s foreheads was the same. And I saw - that when one found a stone he passed it on to his fellow, and he to - another, and he to another. No man kept the stone he found. And at times - they gathered in great company about when a large stone was found, and - raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then they worked on again. - </p> - <p> - And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last. Then God - touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my very - feet was a mighty crown. The light streamed out from it. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Each stone as they find it is set here.” - </p> - <p> - And the crown was wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern - ran through all, yet each part was different. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How does each man know where to set his stone, so that the - pattern is worked out?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because in the light his forehead sheds each man sees faintly - outlined that full crown.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to - its fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “The stones are alive; they grow.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “But what does each man gain by his working?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “He sees his outline filled.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “But those stones which are last set cover those which were first; - and those will again be covered by those which come later.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are covered, but not hid. The light is the light of all. - Without the first, no last.” - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “When will this crown be ended?” - </p> - <p> - And God said, “Look up!” - </p> - <p> - I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its summit I could - not see; it was lost in the clouds. - </p> - <p> - God said no more. - </p> - <p> - And I looked at the crown: then a longing seized me. Like the passion of a - mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of a friend - for the friend whom life has buried; like the hunger of dying eyes for a - life that is slipping; like the thirst of a soul for love at its first - spring waking, so, but fiercer was the longing in me. - </p> - <p> - I cried to God, “I too will work here; I too will set stones in the - wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand. And if it be that, - labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will be - with the men that labour here. I shall hear their shout of joy when each - stone is found; I shall join in their triumph, I shall shout among them; I - shall see the crown grow.” So great was my longing as I looked at the - crown, I thought a faint light fell from my forehead also. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown.” And I was dumb with - longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing - there. And I ran forward, and threw my mantle on the earth and bent to - seize one of the mighty tools which lay there. I could not lift it from - the earth. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy - mantle.” - </p> - <p> - And I took up my mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked - back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved. - </p> - <p> - Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner. Not a tree or - plant was on the bare rocks, and the stillness was unbroken. My breath - came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips. I said to - God, “Is this Heaven?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Yes; it is the highest.” - </p> - <p> - And still we climbed. I said to God, “I cannot breathe so high.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because the air is pure?” - </p> - <p> - And my head grew dizzy, and as I climbed the blood burst from my - finger-tips. - </p> - <p> - Then we came out upon a lonely mountain-top. - </p> - <p> - No living being moved there; but far off on a solitary peak I saw a lonely - figure standing. Whether it were man or woman I could not tell; for partly - it seemed the figure of a woman, but its limbs were the mighty limbs of a - man. I asked God whether it was man or woman. - </p> - <p> - God said, “In the least Heaven sex reigns supreme; in the higher it is not - noticed; but in the highest it does not exist.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw the figure bend over its work, and labour mightily, but what it - laboured at I could not see. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How came it here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “By a bloody stair. Step by step it mounted from the lowest - Hell, and day by day as Hell grew farther and Heaven no nearer, it hung - alone between two worlds. Hour by hour in that bitter struggle its limbs - grew larger, till there fell from it rag by rag the garments which it - started with. Drops fell from its eyes as it strained them; each step it - climbed was wet with blood. Then it came out here.” - </p> - <p> - And I thought of the garden where men sang with their arms around one - another; and the mountain-side where they worked in company. And I - shuddered. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Is it not terribly alone here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is never alone!” - </p> - <p> - I said, “What has it for all its labour? I see nothing return to it.” - </p> - <p> - Then God touched my eyes, and I saw stretched out beneath us the plains of - Heaven and Hell, and all that was within them. - </p> - <p> - God said, “From that lone height on which he stands, all things are open. - To him is clear the shining in the garden, he sees the flower break forth - and the streams sparkle; no shout is raised upon the mountain-side but his - ear may hear it. He sees the crown grow and the light shoot from it. All - Hell is open to him. He sees the paths mount upwards. To him, Hell is the - seed ground from which Heaven springs. He sees the sap ascending.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw the figure bend over its work, and the light from its face fell - upon it. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “What is it making?” - </p> - <p> - And God said, “Music!” - </p> - <p> - And he touched my ears, and I heard it. - </p> - <p> - And after a long while I whispered to God, “This is Heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And God asked me why I was crying. But I could not answer for joy. - </p> - <p> - And the face turned from its work, and the light fell upon me. Then it - grew so bright I could not see things separately; and which were God, or - the man, or I, I could not tell; we were all blended. I cried to God, - “Where are you?” but there was no answer, only music and light. - </p> - <p> - Afterwards, when it had grown so dark again that I could see things - separately, I found that I was standing there wrapped tight in my little - old, brown, earthly cloak, and God and the man were separated from each - other, and from me. - </p> - <p> - I did not dare say I would go and make music beside the man. I knew I - could not reach even to his knee, nor move the instrument he played. But I - thought I would stand there on my little peak and sing an accompaniment to - that great music. And I tried; but my voice failed. It piped and quavered. - I could not sing that tune. I was silent. - </p> - <p> - Then God pointed to me, that I should go out of Heaven. - </p> - <p> - And I cried to God, “Oh, let me stay here! If indeed it be, as I know it - is, that I am not great enough to sing upon the mountain, nor strong - enough to labour on its side, nor bright enough to shine and love within - the garden, at least let me go down to the great gateway; humbly I will - kneel there sweeping; and, as the saved pass in, I will see the light upon - their faces. I shall hear the singing in the garden, and the shout upon - the hillside—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It may not be;” he pointed. - </p> - <p> - And I cried, “If I may not stay in Heaven, then let me go down to Hell, - and I will grasp the hands of men and women there; and slowly, holding one - another’s hands, we will work our way upwards.” - </p> - <p> - Still God pointed. - </p> - <p> - And I threw myself upon the earth and cried, “Earth is so small, so mean! - It is not meet a soul should see Heaven and be cast out again!” - </p> - <p> - And God laid his hand on me, and said, “Go back to earth: that which you - seek is there.” - </p> - <p> - I awoke: it was morning. The silence and darkness of the night were gone. - Through my narrow attic window I saw the light of another day. I closed my - eyes and turned towards the wall: I could not look upon the dull grey - world. - </p> - <p> - In the streets below, men and women streamed past by hundreds; I heard the - beat of their feet on the pavement. Men on their way to business; servants - on errands; boys hurrying to school; weary professors pacing slowly the - old street; prostitutes, men and women, dragging their feet wearily after - last night’s debauch; artists with quick, impatient footsteps; tradesmen - for orders; children to seek for bread. I heard the stream beat by. And at - the alley’s mouth, at the street corner, a broken barrel-organ was - playing; sometimes it quavered and almost stopped, then went on again, - like a broken human voice. - </p> - <p> - I listened: my heart scarcely moved; it was as cold as lead. I could not - bear the long day before me; and I tried to sleep again; yet still I heard - the feet upon the pavement. And suddenly I heard them cry loud as they - beat, “We are seeking!—we are seeking!—we are seeking!” and - the broken barrel-organ at the street corner sobbed, “The Beautiful!—the - Beautiful!—the Beautiful!” And my heart, which had been dead, cried - out with every throb, “Love!—Truth!—the Beautiful!—the - Beautiful!” It was the music I had heard in Heaven that I could not sing - there. - </p> - <p> - And fully I awoke. - </p> - <p> - Upon the faded quilt, across my bed a long yellow streak of pale London - sunlight was lying. It fell through my narrow attic window. - </p> - <p> - I laughed. I rose. - </p> - <p> - I was glad the long day was before me. - </p> - <p> - Paris and London. - </p> - <p> - <<br /><br /><br /><br /> - </p> -<pre xml:space="preserve"> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DREAMS *** - -***** This file should be named 1439-h.htm or 1439-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/3/1439/ - -Produced by Sue Asscher, and David Widger - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project -Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at -http://gutenberg.org/license). - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” - or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project -Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -“Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.” - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -“Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right -of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’ WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm’s -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at -http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws. - -The Foundation’s principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at -809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email -business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact -information can be found at the Foundation’s web site and official -page at http://pglaf.org - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit http://pglaf.org - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - - -</pre> - </body> -</html> diff --git a/old/1439.txt b/old/1439.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 3eb2345..0000000 --- a/old/1439.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2863 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Dreams - -Author: Olive Schreiner - -Posting Date: August 16, 2008 [EBook #1439] -Release Date: August, 1998 - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DREAMS *** - - - - -Produced by Sue Asscher - - - - - -DREAMS - -By Olive Schreiner - - - To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of - that which for us is yet sight, not touch. - - - Note. - - These Dreams are printed in the order in which they were - written. - - In the case of two there was a lapse of some years between - the writing of the first and last parts; these are placed - according to the date of the first part. - - Olive Schreiner. - - - Matjesfontein, - Cape Colony, - South Africa. - November, 1890. - - - - -CONTENTS. - - I. The Lost Joy. - - II. The Hunter (From "The Story of of an African Farm"). - - III. The Gardens of Pleasure. - - IV. In a Far-off World. - - V. Three Dreams in a Desert. - - VI. A Dream of Wild Bees (Written as a letter to a friend). - - VII. In a Ruined Chapel. - - VIII. Life's Gifts. - - IX. The Artist's Secret. - - X. "I Thought I Stood." - - XI. The Sunlight Lay across My Bed. - - - - - -I. THE LOST JOY. - -All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat. - -All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face -looked out across the water. She was waiting--she was waiting; but she -could not tell for what. - -All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the -pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her -eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee -and fell asleep, waiting still. - -Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore--Life -awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed -through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of -Love--and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting. - -And Love drew Life up to him. - -And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful--Joy, First-Joy -was it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water is not -so glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun's -first kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was -so warm, so soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the -sunshine: and Love and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it -to the other, but deep in its own heart each said, "It shall be ours for -ever." - -Then there came a time--was it after weeks? was it after months? (Love -and Life do not measure time)--when the thing was not as it had been. - -Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with -purple berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the -little eyes looked out heavily across the water. - -And Life and Love dared not look into each other's eyes, dared not say, -"What ails our darling?" Each heart whispered to itself, "It is nothing, -it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear." But tomorrow and -tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but -heavily, more heavily. - -One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it -was gone: only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with -wide-open eyes, very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked -apart, weeping bitterly, "Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no -more for ever?" - -The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of -each, and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between -them. And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected -in its soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, "I am weary, -I am weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark -is all before," a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon -the hill-sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always -the little brave mouth was smiling quietly. - -When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his -garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the -desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over -the hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert -found water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love's lips with. He -was no burden--he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on -their journey. - -When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the -rocks--for Love and Life must pass through strange drear places--there, -where all is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands -and held them against his beating little heart, and warmed them--and -softly he drew them on and on. - -And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers, -strangely the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face. -Brightly laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the -hollow tree; and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them -water in the leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them -round their heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as -their Joy had touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly. - -So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with -that little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered -that first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, "Oh! could we but -find him also!" - -At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who -has always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who -steals light out of the past to shed it on the future. - -And Life and Love cried out, "O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a -lovely radiant thing belonged to us--gladness without a tear, sunshine -without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall we go -that we may find it?" - -And she, the wise old woman, answered, "To have it back, will you give -up that which walks beside you now?" - -And in agony Love and Life cried, "No!" - -"Give up this!" said Life. "When the thorns have pierced me, who will -suck the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands -upon it and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm -my freezing heart?" - -And Love cried out, "Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without -this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!" - -And the wise old woman answered, "O fools and blind! What you once had -is that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant -thing is born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when -the shades begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold -and long--then it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL -not know it--till one day they start up suddenly, crying, 'O God! O God! -we have lost it! Where is it?' They do not understand that they could -not carry the laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost, -and the snow. They do not know that what walks beside them still is the -Joy grown older. The grave, sweet, tender thing--warm in the coldest -snows, brave in the dreariest deserts--its name is Sympathy; it is the -Perfect Love." - -South Africa. - - - - -II. THE HUNTER. - -In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for -wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores -of a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming -of the birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a -reflection. He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a -burning desire came over him to see once again that reflection in the -water, and all day he watched and waited; but night came and it had not -returned. Then he went home with his empty bag, moody and silent. His -comrades came questioning about him to know the reason, but he answered -them nothing; he sat alone and brooded. Then his friend came to him, and -to him he spoke. - -"I have seen today," he said, "that which I never saw before--a vast -white bird, with silver wings outstretched, sailing in the everlasting -blue. And now it is as though a great fire burnt within my breast. It -was but a sheen, a shimmer, a reflection in the water; but now I desire -nothing more on earth than to hold her." - -His friend laughed. - -"It was but a beam playing on the water, or the shadow of your own head. -Tomorrow you will forget her," he said. - -But tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow the hunter walked alone. -He sought in the forest and in the woods, by the lakes and among the -rushes, but he could not find her. He shot no more wild fowl; what were -they to him? - -"What ails him?" said his comrades. - -"He is mad," said one. - -"No; but he is worse," said another; "he would see that which none of us -have seen, and make himself a wonder." - -"Come, let us forswear his company," said all. - -So the hunter walked alone. - -One night, as he wandered in the shade, very heartsore and weeping, an -old man stood before him, grander and taller than the sons of men. - -"Who are you?" asked the hunter. - -"I am Wisdom," answered the old man; "but some men call me Knowledge. -All my life I have grown in these valleys; but no man sees me till he -has sorrowed much. The eyes must be washed with tears that are to behold -me; and, according as a man has suffered, I speak." - -And the hunter cried: - -"Oh, you who have lived here so long, tell me, what is that great wild -bird I have seen sailing in the blue? They would have me believe she is -a dream; the shadow of my own head." - -The old man smiled. - -"Her name is Truth. He who has once seen her never rests again. Till -death he desires her." - -And the hunter cried: - -"Oh, tell me where I may find her." - -But the old man said: - -"You have not suffered enough," and went. - -Then the hunter took from his breast the shuttle of Imagination, and -wound on it the thread of his Wishes; and all night he sat and wove a -net. - -In the morning he spread the golden net upon the ground, and into it -he threw a few grains of credulity, which his father had left him, and -which he kept in his breast-pocket. They were like white puff-balls, and -when you trod on them a brown dust flew out. Then he sat by to see what -would happen. The first that came into the net was a snow-white -bird, with dove's eyes, and he sang a beautiful song--"A human-God! a -human-God! a human-God!" it sang. The second that came was black and -mystical, with dark, lovely eyes, that looked into the depths of your -soul, and he sang only this--"Immortality!" - -And the hunter took them both in his arms, for he said-- - -"They are surely of the beautiful family of Truth." - -Then came another, green and gold, who sang in a shrill voice, like one -crying in the marketplace,--"Reward after Death! Reward after Death!" - -And he said-- - -"You are not so fair; but you are fair too," and he took it. - -And others came, brightly coloured, singing pleasant songs, till all the -grains were finished. And the hunter gathered all his birds together, -and built a strong iron cage called a new creed, and put all his birds -in it. - -Then the people came about dancing and singing. - -"Oh, happy hunter!" they cried. "Oh, wonderful man! Oh, delightful -birds! Oh, lovely songs!" - -No one asked where the birds had come from, nor how they had been -caught; but they danced and sang before them. And the hunter too was -glad, for he said: - -"Surely Truth is among them. In time she will moult her feathers, and I -shall see her snow-white form." - -But the time passed, and the people sang and danced; but the hunter's -heart grew heavy. He crept alone, as of old, to weep; the terrible -desire had awakened again in his breast. One day, as he sat alone -weeping, it chanced that Wisdom met him. He told the old man what he had -done. - -And Wisdom smiled sadly. - -"Many men," he said, "have spread that net for Truth; but they have -never found her. On the grains of credulity she will not feed; in the -net of wishes her feet cannot be held; in the air of these valleys she -will not breathe. The birds you have caught are of the brood of Lies. -Lovely and beautiful, but still lies; Truth knows them not." - -And the hunter cried out in bitterness-- - -"And must I then sit still, to be devoured of this great burning?" - -And the old man said, - -"Listen, and in that you have suffered much and wept much, I will tell -you what I know. He who sets out to search for Truth must leave these -valleys of superstition forever, taking with him not one shred that has -belonged to them. Alone he must wander down into the Land of Absolute -Negation and Denial; he must abide there; he must resist temptation; -when the light breaks he must arise and follow it into the country of -dry sunshine. The mountains of stern reality will rise before him; he -must climb them; beyond them lies Truth." - -"And he will hold her fast! he will hold her in his hands!" the hunter -cried. - -Wisdom shook his head. - -"He will never see her, never hold her. The time is not yet." - -"Then there is no hope?" cried the hunter. - -"There is this," said Wisdom: "Some men have climbed on those mountains; -circle above circle of bare rock they have scaled; and, wandering there, -in those high regions, some have chanced to pick up on the ground one -white silver feather, dropped from the wing of Truth. And it shall come -to pass," said the old man, raising himself prophetically and pointing -with his finger to the sky, "it shall come to pass, that when enough of -those silver feathers shall have been gathered by the hands of men, and -shall have been woven into a cord, and the cord into a net, that in that -net Truth may be captured. Nothing but Truth can hold Truth." - -The hunter arose. "I will go," he said. - -But wisdom detained him. - -"Mark you well--who leaves these valleys never returns to them. Though -he should weep tears of blood seven days and nights upon the confines, -he can never put his foot across them. Left--they are left forever. Upon -the road which you would travel there is no reward offered. Who goes, -goes freely--for the great love that is in him. The work is his reward." - -"I go" said the hunter; "but upon the mountains, tell me, which path -shall I take?" - -"I am the child of The-Accumulated-Knowledge-of-Ages," said the man; "I -can walk only where many men have trodden. On these mountains few feet -have passed; each man strikes out a path for himself. He goes at his own -peril: my voice he hears no more. I may follow after him, but cannot go -before him." - -Then Knowledge vanished. - -And the hunter turned. He went to his cage, and with his hands broke -down the bars, and the jagged iron tore his flesh. It is sometimes -easier to build than to break. - -One by one he took his plumed birds and let them fly. But when he came -to his dark-plumed bird he held it, and looked into its beautiful eyes, -and the bird uttered its low, deep cry--"Immortality!" - -And he said quickly: "I cannot part with it. It is not heavy; it eats -no food. I will hide it in my breast; I will take it with me." And he -buried it there and covered it over with his cloak. - -But the thing he had hidden grew heavier, heavier, heavier--till it lay -on his breast like lead. He could not move with it. He could not leave -those valleys with it. Then again he took it out and looked at it. - -"Oh, my beautiful! my heart's own!" he cried, "may I not keep you?" - -He opened his hands sadly. - -"Go!" he said. "It may happen that in Truth's song one note is like -yours; but I shall never hear it." - -Sadly he opened his hand, and the bird flew from him forever. - -Then from the shuttle of Imagination he took the thread of his wishes, -and threw it on the ground; and the empty shuttle he put into his -breast, for the thread was made in those valleys, but the shuttle came -from an unknown country. He turned to go, but now the people came about -him, howling. - -"Fool, hound, demented lunatic!" they cried. "How dared you break your -cage and let the birds fly?" - -The hunter spoke; but they would not hear him. - -"Truth! who is she? Can you eat her? can you drink her? Who has ever -seen her? Your birds were real: all could hear them sing! Oh, fool! vile -reptile! atheist!" they cried, "you pollute the air." - -"Come, let us take up stones and stone him," cried some. - -"What affair is it of ours?" said others. "Let the idiot go," and went -away. But the rest gathered up stones and mud and threw at him. At last, -when he was bruised and cut, the hunter crept away into the woods. And -it was evening about him. - -He wandered on and on, and the shade grew deeper. He was on the borders -now of the land where it is always night. Then he stepped into it, and -there was no light there. With his hands he groped; but each branch -as he touched it broke off, and the earth was covered with cinders. At -every step his foot sank in, and a fine cloud of impalpable ashes flew -up into his face; and it was dark. So he sat down upon a stone and -buried his face in his hands, to wait in the Land of Negation and Denial -till the light came. - -And it was night in his heart also. - -Then from the marshes to his right and left cold mists arose and closed -about him. A fine, imperceptible rain fell in the dark, and great drops -gathered on his hair and clothes. His heart beat slowly, and a numbness -crept through all his limbs. Then, looking up, two merry wisp lights -came dancing. He lifted his head to look at them. Nearer, nearer they -came. So warm, so bright, they danced like stars of fire. They stood -before him at last. From the centre of the radiating flame in one looked -out a woman's face, laughing, dimpled, with streaming yellow hair. In -the centre of the other were merry laughing ripples, like the bubbles on -a glass of wine. They danced before him. - -"Who are you," asked the hunter, "who alone come to me in my solitude -and darkness?" - -"We are the twins Sensuality," they cried. "Our father's name is -Human-Nature, and our mother's name is Excess. We are as old as the -hills and rivers, as old as the first man; but we never die," they -laughed. - -"Oh, let me wrap my arms about you!" cried the first; "they are soft -and warm. Your heart is frozen now, but I will make it beat. Oh, come to -me!" - -"I will pour my hot life into you," said the second; "your brain is -numb, and your limbs are dead now; but they shall live with a fierce -free life. Oh, let me pour it in!" - -"Oh, follow us," they cried, "and live with us. Nobler hearts than yours -have sat here in this darkness to wait, and they have come to us and we -to them; and they have never left us, never. All else is a delusion, but -we are real, we are real, we are real. Truth is a shadow; the valleys of -superstition are a farce: the earth is of ashes, the trees all rotten; -but we--feel us--we live! You cannot doubt us. Feel us how warm we are! -Oh, come to us! Come with us!" - -Nearer and nearer round his head they hovered, and the cold drops melted -on his forehead. The bright light shot into his eyes, dazzling him, and -the frozen blood began to run. And he said: - -"Yes, why should I die here in this awful darkness? They are warm, they -melt my frozen blood!" and he stretched out his hands to take them. - -Then in a moment there arose before him the image of the thing he had -loved, and his hand dropped to his side. - -"Oh, come to us!" they cried. - -But he buried his face. - -"You dazzle my eyes," he cried, "you make my heart warm; but you cannot -give me what I desire. I will wait here--wait till I die. Go!" - -He covered his face with his hands and would not listen; and when he -looked up again they were two twinkling stars, that vanished in the -distance. - -And the long, long night rolled on. - -All who leave the valley of superstition pass through that dark land; -but some go through it in a few days, some linger there for months, some -for years, and some die there. - -At last for the hunter a faint light played along the horizon, and he -rose to follow it; and he reached that light at last, and stepped into -the broad sunshine. Then before him rose the almighty mountains of -Dry-facts and Realities. The clear sunshine played on them, and the tops -were lost in the clouds. At the foot many paths ran up. An exultant cry -burst from the hunter. He chose the straightest and began to climb; -and the rocks and ridges resounded with his song. They had exaggerated; -after all, it was not so high, nor was the road so steep! A few days, a -few weeks, a few months at most, and then the top! Not one feather only -would he pick up; he would gather all that other men had found--weave -the net--capture Truth--hold her fast--touch her with his hands--clasp -her! - -He laughed in the merry sunshine, and sang loud. Victory was very near. -Nevertheless, after a while the path grew steeper. He needed all his -breath for climbing, and the singing died away. On the right and left -rose huge rocks, devoid of lichen or moss, and in the lava-like earth -chasms yawned. Here and there he saw a sheen of white bones. Now too the -path began to grow less and less marked; then it became a mere trace, -with a footmark here and there; then it ceased altogether. He sang no -more, but struck forth a path for himself, until it reached a mighty -wall of rock, smooth and without break, stretching as far as the eye -could see. "I will rear a stair against it; and, once this wall climbed, -I shall be almost there," he said bravely; and worked. With his shuttle -of imagination he dug out stones; but half of them would not fit, and -half a month's work would roll down because those below were ill chosen. -But the hunter worked on, saying always to himself, "Once this wall -climbed, I shall be almost there. This great work ended!" - -At last he came out upon the top, and he looked about him. Far below -rolled the white mist over the valleys of superstition, and above him -towered the mountains. They had seemed low before; they were of an -immeasurable height now, from crown to foundation surrounded by walls of -rock, that rose tier above tier in mighty circles. Upon them played -the eternal sunshine. He uttered a wild cry. He bowed himself on to -the earth, and when he rose his face was white. In absolute silence he -walked on. He was very silent now. In those high regions the rarefied -air is hard to breathe by those born in the valleys; every breath he -drew hurt him, and the blood oozed out from the tips of his fingers. -Before the next wall of rock he began to work. The height of this seemed -infinite, and he said nothing. The sound of his tool rang night and day -upon the iron rocks into which he cut steps. Years passed over him, -yet he worked on; but the wall towered up always above him to heaven. -Sometimes he prayed that a little moss or lichen might spring up on -those bare walls to be a companion to him; but it never came. - -And the years rolled on; he counted them by the steps he had cut--a few -for a year--only a few. He sang no more; he said no more, "I will do -this or that"--he only worked. And at night, when the twilight settled -down, there looked out at him from the holes and crevices in the rocks -strange wild faces. - -"Stop your work, you lonely man, and speak to us," they cried. - -"My salvation is in work, if I should stop but for one moment you would -creep down upon me," he replied. And they put out their long necks -further. - -"Look down into the crevice at your feet," they said. "See what lie -there--white bones! As brave and strong a man as you climbed to these -rocks." And he looked up. He saw there was no use in striving; he would -never hold Truth, never see her, never find her. So he lay down here, -for he was very tired. He went to sleep forever. He put himself to -sleep. Sleep is very tranquil. You are not lonely when you are asleep, -neither do your hands ache, nor your heart. And the hunter laughed -between his teeth. - -"Have I torn from my heart all that was dearest; have I wandered alone -in the land of night; have I resisted temptation; have I dwelt where the -voice of my kind is never heard, and laboured alone, to lie down and be -food for you, ye harpies?" - -He laughed fiercely; and the Echoes of Despair slunk away, for the laugh -of a brave, strong heart is as a death blow to them. - -Nevertheless they crept out again and looked at him. - -"Do you know that your hair is white?" they said, "that your hands begin -to tremble like a child's? Do you see that the point of your shuttle is -gone?--it is cracked already. If you should ever climb this stair," they -said, "it will be your last. You will never climb another." - -And he answered, "I know it!" and worked on. - -The old, thin hands cut the stones ill and jaggedly, for the fingers -were stiff and bent. The beauty and the strength of the man was gone. - -At last, an old, wizened, shrunken face looked out above the rocks. It -saw the eternal mountains rise with walls to the white clouds; but its -work was done. - -The old hunter folded his tired hands and lay down by the precipice -where he had worked away his life. It was the sleeping time at last. -Below him over the valleys rolled the thick white mist. Once it broke; -and through the gap the dying eyes looked down on the trees and fields -of their childhood. From afar seemed borne to him the cry of his own -wild birds, and he heard the noise of people singing as they danced. And -he thought he heard among them the voices of his old comrades; and -he saw far off the sunlight shine on his early home. And great tears -gathered in the hunter's eyes. - -"Ah! they who die there do not die alone," he cried. - -Then the mists rolled together again; and he turned his eyes away. - -"I have sought," he said, "for long years I have laboured; but I have -not found her. I have not rested, I have not repined, and I have not -seen her; now my strength is gone. Where I lie down worn out other men -will stand, young and fresh. By the steps that I have cut they will -climb; by the stairs that I have built they will mount. They will never -know the name of the man who made them. At the clumsy work they will -laugh; when the stones roll they will curse me. But they will mount, and -on my work; they will climb, and by my stair! They will find her, and -through me! And no man liveth to himself and no man dieth to himself." - -The tears rolled from beneath the shrivelled eyelids. If Truth had -appeared above him in the clouds now he could not have seen her, the -mist of death was in his eyes. - -"My soul hears their glad step coming," he said; "and they shall mount! -they shall mount!" He raised his shrivelled hand to his eyes. - -Then slowly from the white sky above, through the still air, came -something falling, falling, falling. Softly it fluttered down, and -dropped on to the breast of the dying man. He felt it with his hands. It -was a feather. He died holding it. - - - - -III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. - -She walked upon the beds, and the sweet rich scent arose; and she -gathered her hands full of flowers. Then Duty, with his white clear -features, came and looked at her. Then she ceased from gathering, but -she walked away among the flowers, smiling, and with her hands full. - -Then Duty, with his still white face, came again, and looked at her; but -she, she turned her head away from him. At last she saw his face, and -she dropped the fairest of the flowers she had held, and walked silently -away. - -Then again he came to her. And she moaned, and bent her head low, and -turned to the gate. But as she went out she looked back at the sunlight -on the faces of the flowers, and wept in anguish. Then she went out, and -it shut behind her for ever; but still in her hand she held of the buds -she had gathered, and the scent was very sweet in the lonely desert. - -But he followed her. Once more he stood before her with his still, -white, death-like face. And she knew what he had come for: she unbent -the fingers, and let the flowers drop out, the flowers she had loved -so, and walked on without them, with dry, aching eyes. Then for the last -time he came. And she showed him her empty hands, the hands that held -nothing now. But still he looked. Then at length she opened her bosom -and took out of it one small flower she had hidden there, and laid it on -the sand. She had nothing more to give now, and she wandered away, and -the grey sand whirled about her. - - - - -IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. - -There is a world in one of the far-off stars, and things do not happen -here as they happen there. - -In that world were a man and woman; they had one work, and they walked -together side by side on many days, and were friends--and that is a -thing that happens now and then in this world also. - -But there was something in that star-world that there is not here. -There was a thick wood: where the trees grew closest, and the stems were -interlocked, and the summer sun never shone, there stood a shrine. In -the day all was quiet, but at night, when the stars shone or the moon -glinted on the tree-tops, and all was quiet below, if one crept here -quite alone and knelt on the steps of the stone altar, and uncovering -one's breast, so wounded it that the blood fell down on the altar steps, -then whatever he who knelt there wished for was granted him. And all -this happens, as I said, because it is a far-off world, and things often -happen there as they do not happen here. - -Now, the man and woman walked together; and the woman wished well to the -man. One night when the moon was shining so that the leaves of all the -trees glinted, and the waves of the sea were silvery, the woman walked -alone to the forest. It was dark there; the moonlight fell only in -little flecks on the dead leaves under her feet, and the branches were -knotted tight overhead. Farther in it got darker, not even a fleck of -moonlight shone. Then she came to the shrine; she knelt down before it -and prayed; there came no answer. Then she uncovered her breast; with a -sharp two-edged stone that lay there she wounded it. The drops dripped -slowly down on to the stone, and a voice cried, "What do you seek?" - -She answered, "There is a man; I hold him nearer than anything. I would -give him the best of all blessings." - -The voice said, "What is it?" - -The girl said, "I know not, but that which is most good for him I wish -him to have." - -The voice said, "Your prayer is answered; he shall have it." - -Then she stood up. She covered her breast and held the garment tight -upon it with her hand, and ran out of the forest, and the dead leaves -fluttered under her feet. Out in the moonlight the soft air was blowing, -and the sand glittered on the beach. She ran along the smooth shore, -then suddenly she stood still. Out across the water there was something -moving. She shaded her eyes and looked. It was a boat; it was sliding -swiftly over the moonlit water out to sea. One stood upright in it; the -face the moonlight did not show, but the figure she knew. It was passing -swiftly; it seemed as if no one propelled it; the moonlight's shimmer -did not let her see clearly, and the boat was far from shore, but it -seemed almost as if there was another figure sitting in the stern. -Faster and faster it glided over the water away, away. She ran along the -shore; she came no nearer it. The garment she had held closed fluttered -open; she stretched out her arms, and the moonlight shone on her long -loose hair. - -Then a voice beside her whispered, "What is it?" - -She cried, "With my blood I bought the best of all gifts for him. I have -come to bring it him! He is going from me!" - -The voice whispered softly, "Your prayer was answered. It has been given -him." - -She cried, "What is it?" - -The voice answered, "It is that he might leave you." - -The girl stood still. - -Far out at sea the boat was lost to sight beyond the moonlight sheen. - -The voice spoke softly, "Art thou contented?" - -She said, "I am contented." - -At her feet the waves broke in long ripples softly on the shore. - - - - -V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. - -Under a Mimosa-Tree. - -As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then I -drew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him and -left him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to left -stretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the -heat beat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And -after a while a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down -against my saddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a -curious dream. - -I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew -about everywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of -burden of the desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched -out, and one stood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay -upon the ground, for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was -thick about it, so that it seemed to have piled over it for centuries. - -And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me -watching. And I said to him, "What is this huge creature who lies here -on the sand?" - -And he said, "This is woman; she that bears men in her body." - -And I said, "Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled round -her?" - -And he answered, "Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has -lain here, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest -man living has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that -she lay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But -listen! Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded -memory of man, on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of -Ancient Customs, now crumbling to decay, are found the marks of her -footsteps! Side by side with his who stands beside her you may trace -them; and you know that she who now lies there once wandered free over -the rocks with him." - -And I said, "Why does she lie there now?" - -And he said, "I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-force -found her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her -back was broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it -on with the broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the -earth and the sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down -on the sand with the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has -lain here. And the ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band -of Inevitable Necessity has not been cut." - -And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries; -the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand. - -And I said, "Has she ever tried to move?" - -And he said, "Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knows -she cannot rise with the burden on her." - -And I said, "Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?" - -And he said, "He cannot. Look--" - -And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, -and it bound them together. - -He said, "While she lies there he must stand and look across the -desert." - -And I said, "Does he know why he cannot move?" - -And he said, "No." - -And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the -band that bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden -rolled on to the ground. - -And I said, "What is this?" - -And he said, "The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The -Age-of-nervous-force has killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; -and silently and invisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that -knife of Mechanical Invention he has cut the band that bound the burden -to her back. The Inevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now." - -And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open -and her neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the -far-off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were -awake or asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came -into her eyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room. - -I said, "What is it?" - -He whispered "Hush! the thought has come to her, 'Might I not rise?'" - -And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dent -where her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and she -looked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he looked -out across the desert. - -And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth, -and veins stood out; and I cried; "She is going to rise!" - -But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was. - -But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside -me said, "She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her so -long." - -And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her. - -And I said, "Surely he who stands beside her will help her?" - -And he beside me answered, "He cannot help her: she must help herself. -Let her struggle till she is strong." - -And I cried, "At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther -from her, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down." - -And he answered, "He does not understand. When she moves she draws the -band that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. The -day will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing. -Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close to -her, and look into her eyes with sympathy." - -And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the -creature rose an inch from the earth and sank back. - -And I cried, "Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years have -taken all her strength from her. Can she never move?" - -And he answered me, "See the light in her eyes!" - -And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees. - -And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barren -earth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the red -sand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches -of the tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused -over the dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my -saddle. And in the fierce heat I had another dream. - -I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the -bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of -an African river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deep -shifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn -its gigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white -beard; and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written -Reason. And he asked her what she wanted; and she said "I am woman; and -I am seeking for the land of Freedom." - -And he said, "It is before you." - -And she said, "I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and -a bank steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in -them." - -And he said, "And beyond that?" - -She said, "I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my -hand, I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun -shining on them!" - -He said, "That is the Land of Freedom." - -She said, "How am I to get there?" - -He said, "There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour, -through the water of Suffering. There is no other." - -She said, "Is there no bridge?" - -He answered. "None." - -She said, "Is the water deep?" - -He said, "Deep." - -She said, "Is the floor worn?" - -He said, "It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost." - -She said, "Have any crossed already?" - -He said, "Some have tried!" - -She said, "Is there a track to show where the best fording is?" - -He said, "It has to be made." - -She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, "I will go." - -And he said, "You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they -are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed." - -And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions -she wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from -her waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it -in a cloud. And he said, "Take the shoes of dependence off your feet." - -And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to -her. - -And he said, "That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land of -Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims." - -And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had -not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said, -"Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand -you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot -find a bottom do not set your foot." - -And she said, "I am ready; let me go." - -And he said, "No--but stay; what is that--in your breast?" - -She was silent. - -He said, "Open it, and let me see." - -And she opened it. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drank -from it, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; -and his knees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast with his -hands. - -And Reason said, "Who is he, and what is he doing here?" - -And she said, "See his little wings--" - -And Reason said, "Put him down." - -And she said, "He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to the -Land of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried -him. In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together -there, and his great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one -word only to me in the desert--'Passion!' I have dreamed he might learn -to say 'Friendship' in that land." - -And Reason said, "Put him down!" - -And she said, "I will carry him so--with one arm, and with the other I -will fight the water." - -He said, "Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you will -forget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down." He said, -"He will not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his -wings and fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who -reach the Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the -bank to help them shall be Love's. He will be a man then, not a child. -In your breast he cannot thrive; put him down that he may grow." - -And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her, so that the blood -ran down on to the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; and she -covered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the -hair on her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from -youth to age. - -And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, "For what -do I go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! -I am utterly alone!" - -And Reason, that old man, said to her, "Silence! What do you hear?" - -And she listened intently, and she said, "I hear a sound of feet, a -thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat -this way!" - -He said, "They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! -make a track to the water's edge! Where you stand now, the ground will -be beaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet." And he said, -"Have you seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down -to the water-edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and -then another, and then another, and at last with their bodies piled up a -bridge is built and the rest pass over." - -She said, "And, of those that come first, some are swept away, and are -heard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?" - -"And are swept away, and are heard of no more--and what of that?" he -said. - -"And what of that--" she said. - -"They make a track to the water's edge." - -"They make a track to the water's edge--." And she said, "Over that -bridge which shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?" - -He said, "The entire human race." - -And the woman grasped her staff. - -And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river. - -And I awoke; and all about me was the yellow afternoon light: the -sinking sun lit up the fingers of the milk bushes; and my horse stood by -me quietly feeding. And I turned on my side, and I watched the ants run -by thousands in the red sand. I thought I would go on my way now--the -afternoon was cooler. Then a drowsiness crept over me again, and I laid -back my head and fell asleep. - -And I dreamed a dream. - -I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave -men, hand in hand. And they looked into each other's eyes, and they were -not afraid. - -And I saw the women also hold each other's hands. - -And I said to him beside me, "What place is this?" - -And he said, "This is heaven." - -And I said, "Where is it?" - -And he answered, "On earth." - -And I said, "When shall these things be?" - -And he answered, "IN THE FUTURE." - -And I awoke, and all about me was the sunset light; and on the low hills -the sun lay, and a delicious coolness had crept over everything; and the -ants were going slowly home. And I walked towards my horse, who stood -quietly feeding. Then the sun passed down behind the hills; but I knew -that the next day he would arise again. - - - - -VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. - -A mother sat alone at an open window. Through it came the voices of the -children as they played under the acacia-trees, and the breath of the -hot afternoon air. In and out of the room flew the bees, the wild bees, -with their legs yellow with pollen, going to and from the acacia-trees, -droning all the while. She sat on a low chair before the table and -darned. She took her work from the great basket that stood before her -on the table: some lay on her knee and half covered the book that rested -there. She watched the needle go in and out; and the dreary hum of the -bees and the noise of the children's voices became a confused murmur -in her ears, as she worked slowly and more slowly. Then the bees, the -long-legged wasp-like fellows who make no honey, flew closer and closer -to her head, droning. Then she grew more and more drowsy, and she laid -her hand, with the stocking over it, on the edge of the table, and -leaned her head upon it. And the voices of the children outside grew -more and more dreamy, came now far, now near; then she did not hear -them, but she felt under her heart where the ninth child lay. Bent -forward and sleeping there, with the bees flying about her head, she had -a weird brain-picture; she thought the bees lengthened and lengthened -themselves out and became human creatures and moved round and round her. -Then one came to her softly, saying, "Let me lay my hand upon thy side -where the child sleeps. If I shall touch him he shall be as I." - -She asked, "Who are you?" - -And he said, "I am Health. Whom I touch will have always the red blood -dancing in his veins; he will not know weariness nor pain; life will be -a long laugh to him." - -"No," said another, "let me touch; for I am Wealth. If I touch him -material care shall not feed on him. He shall live on the blood and -sinews of his fellow-men, if he will; and what his eye lusts for, his -hand will have. He shall not know 'I want.'" And the child lay still -like lead. - -And another said, "Let me touch him: I am Fame. The man I touch, I -lead to a high hill where all men may see him. When he dies he is not -forgotten, his name rings down the centuries, each echoes it on to his -fellows. Think--not to be forgotten through the ages!" - -And the mother lay breathing steadily, but in the brain-picture they -pressed closer to her. - -"Let me touch the child," said one, "for I am Love. If I touch him he -shall not walk through life alone. In the greatest dark, when he puts -out his hand he shall find another hand by it. When the world is against -him, another shall say, 'You and I.'" And the child trembled. - -But another pressed close and said, "Let me touch; for I am Talent. I -can do all things--that have been done before. I touch the soldier, the -statesman, the thinker, and the politician who succeed; and the writer -who is never before his time, and never behind it. If I touch the child -he shall not weep for failure." - -About the mother's head the bees were flying, touching her with their -long tapering limbs; and, in her brain-picture, out of the shadow of -the room came one with sallow face, deep-lined, the cheeks drawn into -hollows, and a mouth smiling quiveringly. He stretched out his hand. And -the mother drew back, and cried, "Who are you?" He answered nothing; and -she looked up between his eyelids. And she said, "What can you give the -child--health?" And he said, "The man I touch, there wakes up in his -blood a burning fever, that shall lick his blood as fire. The fever that -I will give him shall be cured when his life is cured." - -"You give wealth?" - -He shook his head. "The man whom I touch, when he bends to pick up gold, -he sees suddenly a light over his head in the sky; while he looks up to -see it, the gold slips from between his fingers, or sometimes another -passing takes it from them." - -"Fame?" - -He answered, "likely not. For the man I touch there is a path traced -out in the sand by a finger which no man sees. That he must follow. -Sometimes it leads almost to the top, and then turns down suddenly into -the valley. He must follow it, though none else sees the tracing." - -"Love?" - -He said, "He shall hunger for it--but he shall not find it. When he -stretches out his arms to it, and would lay his heart against a thing -he loves, then, far off along the horizon he shall see a light play. -He must go towards it. The thing he loves will not journey with him; -he must travel alone. When he presses somewhat to his burning heart, -crying, 'Mine, mine, my own!' he shall hear a voice--'Renounce! -renounce! this is not thine!'" - -"He shall succeed?" - -He said, "He shall fail. When he runs with others they shall reach the -goal before him. For strange voices shall call to him and strange lights -shall beckon him, and he must wait and listen. And this shall be the -strangest: far off across the burning sands where, to other men, there -is only the desert's waste, he shall see a blue sea! On that sea the sun -shines always, and the water is blue as burning amethyst, and the foam -is white on the shore. A great land rises from it, and he shall see upon -the mountain-tops burning gold." - -The mother said, "He shall reach it?" - -And he smiled curiously. - -She said, "It is real?" - -And he said, "What IS real?" - -And she looked up between his half-closed eyelids, and said, "Touch." - -And he leaned forward and laid his hand upon the sleeper, and whispered -to it, smiling; and this only she heard--"This shall be thy reward--that -the ideal shall be real to thee." - -And the child trembled; but the mother slept on heavily and her -brain-picture vanished. But deep within her the antenatal thing that -lay here had a dream. In those eyes that had never seen the day, in that -half-shaped brain was a sensation of light! Light--that it never had -seen. Light--that perhaps it never should see. Light--that existed -somewhere! - -And already it had its reward: the Ideal was real to it. - -London. - - - - -VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. - -"I cannot forgive--I love." - -There are four bare walls; there is a Christ upon the walls, in red, -carrying his cross; there is a Blessed Bambino with the face rubbed out; -there is Madonna in blue and red; there are Roman soldiers and a Christ -with tied hands. All the roof is gone; overhead is the blue, blue -Italian sky; the rain has beaten holes in the walls, and the plaster is -peeling from it. The chapel stands here alone upon the promontory, and -by day and by night the sea breaks at its feet. Some say that it was -set here by the monks from the island down below, that they might bring -their sick here in times of deadly plague. Some say that it was set here -that the passing monks and friars, as they hurried by upon the roadway, -might stop and say their prayers here. Now no one stops to pray here, -and the sick come no more to be healed. - -Behind it runs the old Roman road. If you climb it and come and sit -there alone on a hot sunny day you may almost hear at last the clink of -the Roman soldiers upon the pavement, and the sound of that older time, -as you sit there in the sun, when Hannibal and his men broke through the -brushwood, and no road was. - -Now it is very quiet. Sometimes a peasant girl comes riding by between -her panniers, and you hear the mule's feet beat upon the bricks of the -pavement; sometimes an old woman goes past with a bundle of weeds upon -her head, or a brigand-looking man hurries by with a bundle of sticks -in his hand; but for the rest the Chapel lies here alone upon the -promontory, between the two bays and hears the sea break at its feet. - -I came here one winter's day when the midday sun shone hot on the bricks -of the Roman road. I was weary, and the way seemed steep. I walked into -the chapel to the broken window, and looked out across the bay. Far off, -across the blue, blue water, were towns and villages, hanging white and -red dots, upon the mountain-sides, and the blue mountains rose up into -the sky, and now stood out from it and now melted back again. - -The mountains seemed calling to me, but I knew there would never be a -bridge built from them to me; never, never, never! I shaded my eyes with -my hand and turned away. I could not bear to look at them. - -I walked through the ruined Chapel, and looked at the Christ in red -carrying his cross, and the Blessed rubbed-out Bambino, and the Roman -soldiers, and the folded hands, and the reed; and I went and sat down -in the open porch upon a stone. At my feet was the small bay, with its -white row of houses buried among the olive trees; the water broke in a -long, thin, white line of foam along the shore; and I leaned my elbows -on my knees. I was tired, very tired; tired with a tiredness that seemed -older than the heat of the day and the shining of the sun on the bricks -of the Roman road; and I lay my head upon my knees; I heard the breaking -of the water on the rocks three hundred feet below, and the rustling of -the wind among the olive trees and the ruined arches, and then I fell -asleep there. I had a dream. - -A man cried up to God, and God sent down an angel to help him; and the -angel came back and said, "I cannot help that man." - -God said, "How is it with him?" - -And the angel said, "He cries out continually that one has injured him; -and he would forgive him and he cannot." - -God said, "What have you done for him?" - -The angel said, "All--. I took him by the hand, and I said, 'See, when -other men speak ill of that man do you speak well of him; secretly, in -ways he shall not know, serve him; if you have anything you value share -it with him, so, serving him, you will at last come to feel possession -in him, and you will forgive.' And he said, 'I will do it.' Afterwards, -as I passed by in the dark of night, I heard one crying out, 'I have -done all. It helps nothing! My speaking well of him helps me nothing! -If I share my heart's blood with him, is the burning within me less? I -cannot forgive; I cannot forgive! Oh, God, I cannot forgive!' - -"I said to him, 'See here, look back on all your past. See from your -childhood all smallness, all indirectness that has been yours; look well -at it, and in its light do you not see every man your brother? Are you -so sinless you have right to hate?' - -"He looked, and said, 'Yes, you are right; I too have failed, and I -forgive my fellow. Go, I am satisfied; I have forgiven;' and he laid him -down peacefully and folded his hands on his breast, and I thought it was -well with him. But scarcely had my wings rustled and I turned to come up -here, when I heard one crying out on earth again, 'I cannot forgive! I -cannot forgive! Oh, God, God, I cannot forgive! It is better to die -than to hate! I cannot forgive! I cannot forgive!' And I went and stood -outside his door in the dark, and I heard him cry, 'I have not sinned -so, not so! If I have torn my fellows' flesh ever so little, I have -kneeled down and kissed the wound with my mouth till it was healed. I -have not willed that any soul shall be lost through hate of me. If they -have but fancied that I wronged them I have lain down on the ground -before them that they might tread on me, and so, seeing my humiliation, -forgive and not be lost through hating me; they have not cared that -my soul should be lost; they have not willed to save me; they have not -tried that I should forgive them!' - -"I said to him, 'See here, be thou content; do not forgive: forget this -soul and its injury; go on your way. In the next world perhaps--' - -"He cried, 'Go from me, you understand nothing! What is the next world -to me! I am lost now, today. I cannot see the sunlight shine, the dust -is in my throat, the sand is in my eyes! Go from me, you know nothing! -Oh, once again before I die to see that the world is beautiful! Oh, God, -God, I cannot live and not love. I cannot live and hate. Oh, God, God, -God!' So I left him crying out and came back here." - -God said, "This man's soul must be saved." - -And the angel said "How?" - -God said, "Go down you, and save it." - -The angel said, "What more shall I do?" - -Then God bent down and whispered in the angel's ear, and the angel -spread out its wings and went down to earth. - -And partly I woke, sitting there upon the broken stone with my head on -my knee; but I was too weary to rise. I heard the wind roam through the -olive trees and among the ruined arches, and then I slept again. - -The angel went down and found the man with the bitter heart and took him -by the hand, and led him to a certain spot. - -Now the man wist not where it was the angel would take him nor what he -would show him there. And when they came the angel shaded the man's eyes -with his wing, and when he moved it the man saw somewhat on the earth -before them. For God had given it to that angel to unclothe a human -soul; to take from it all those outward attributes of form, and colour, -and age, and sex, whereby one man is known from among his fellows and is -marked off from the rest, and the soul lay before them, bare, as a man -turning his eye inwards beholds himself. - -They saw its past, its childhood, the tiny life with the dew upon it; -they saw its youth when the dew was melting, and the creature raised its -Lilliputian mouth to drink from a cup too large for it, and they saw how -the water spilt; they saw its hopes that were never realized; they saw -its hours of intellectual blindness, men call sin; they saw its hours of -all-radiating insight, which men call righteousness; they saw its hour -of strength, when it leaped to its feet crying, "I am omnipotent;" its -hour of weakness, when it fell to the earth and grasped dust only; they -saw what it might have been, but never would be. - -The man bent forward. - -And the angel said, "What is it?" - -He answered, "It is I! it is myself!" And he went forward as if he would -have lain his heart against it; but the angel held him back and covered -his eyes. - -Now God had given power to the angel further to unclothe that soul, -to take from it all those outward attributes of time and place and -circumstance whereby the individual life is marked off from the life of -the whole. - -Again the angel uncovered the man's eyes, and he looked. He saw before -him that which in its tiny drop reflects the whole universe; he saw that -which marks within itself the step of the furthest star, and tells how -the crystal grows under ground where no eye has seen it; that which is -where the germ in the egg stirs; which moves the outstretched fingers -of the little newborn babe, and keeps the leaves of the trees pointing -upward; which moves where the jelly-fish sail alone on the sunny seas, -and is where the lichens form on the mountains' rocks. - -And the man looked. - -And the angel touched him. - -But the man bowed his head and shuddered. He whispered--"It is God!" - -And the angel re-covered the man's eyes. And when he uncovered them -there was one walking from them a little way off;--for the angel had -re-clothed the soul in its outward form and vesture--and the man knew -who it was. - -And the angel said, "Do you know him?" - -And the man said, "I know him," and he looked after the figure. - -And the angel said, "Have you forgiven him?" - -But the man said, "How beautiful my brother is!" - -And the angel looked into the man's eyes, and he shaded his own face -with his wing from the light. He laughed softly and went up to God. - -But the men were together on earth. - -I awoke. - -The blue, blue sky was over my head, and the waves were breaking below -on the shore. I walked through the little chapel, and I saw the Madonna -in blue and red, and the Christ carrying his cross, and the Roman -soldiers with the rod, and the Blessed Bambino with its broken face; -and then I walked down the sloping rock to the brick pathway. The olive -trees stood up on either side of the road, their black berries and -pale-green leaves stood out against the sky; and the little ice-plants -hung from the crevices in the stone wall. It seemed to me as if it must -have rained while I was asleep. I thought I had never seen the heavens -and the earth look so beautiful before. I walked down the road. The old, -old, old tiredness was gone. - -Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she -had two large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the -road before me. - -I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and -to have held his hand--only, he would not have known why. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - - -VIII. LIFE'S GIFTS. - -I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, -and held in each hand a gift--in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And -she said to the woman, "Choose!" - -And the woman waited long: and she said, "Freedom!" - -And Life said, "Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, 'Love,' I -would have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone -from thee, and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I -shall return. In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand." - -I heard the woman laugh in her sleep. - -London. - - - - -IX. THE ARTIST'S SECRET. - -There was an artist once, and he painted a picture. Other artists had -colours richer and rarer, and painted more notable pictures. He painted -his with one colour, there was a wonderful red glow on it; and the -people went up and down, saying, "We like the picture, we like the -glow." - -The other artists came and said, "Where does he get his colour from?" -They asked him; and he smiled and said, "I cannot tell you"; and worked -on with his head bent low. - -And one went to the far East and bought costly pigments, and made a rare -colour and painted, but after a time the picture faded. Another read in -the old books, and made a colour rich and rare, but when he had put it -on the picture it was dead. - -But the artist painted on. Always the work got redder and redder, and -the artist grew whiter and whiter. At last one day they found him dead -before his picture, and they took him up to bury him. The other men -looked about in all the pots and crucibles, but they found nothing they -had not. - -And when they undressed him to put his grave-clothes on him, they found -above his left breast the mark of a wound--it was an old, old wound, -that must have been there all his life, for the edges were old and -hardened; but Death, who seals all things, had drawn the edges together, -and closed it up. - -And they buried him. And still the people went about saying, "Where did -he find his colour from?" - -And it came to pass that after a while the artist was forgotten--but the -work lived. - -St. Leonards-on-Sea. - - - - -X. "I THOUGHT I STOOD." - -I thought I stood in Heaven before God's throne, and God asked me what I -had come for. I said I had come to arraign my brother, Man. - -God said, "What has he done?" - -I said, "He has taken my sister, Woman, and has stricken her, and -wounded her, and thrust her out into the streets; she lies there -prostrate. His hands are red with blood. I am here to arraign him; that -the kingdom be taken from him, because he is not worthy, and given unto -me. My hands are pure." - -I showed them. - -God said, "Thy hands are pure.--Lift up thy robe." - -I raised it; my feet were red, blood-red, as if I had trodden in wine. - -God said, "How is this?" - -I said, "Dear Lord, the streets on earth are full of mire. If I should -walk straight on in them my outer robe might be bespotted, you see how -white it is! Therefore I pick my way." - -God said, "On what?" - -I was silent, and I let my robe fall. I wrapped my mantle about my head. -I went out softly. I was afraid that the angels would see me. - - -II. - -Once more I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and another. We held fast by -one another; we were very tired. We looked up at the great gates; the -angels opened them, and we went in. The mud was on our garments. We -walked across the marble floor, and up to the great throne. Then the -angels divided us. Her, they set upon the top step, but me, upon the -bottom; for, they said, "Last time this woman came here she left red -foot-marks on the floor; we had to wash them out with our tears. Let her -not go up." - -Then she, with whom I came, looked back, and stretched out her hand to -me; and I went and stood beside her. And the angels, they, the shining -ones who never sinned and never suffered, walked by us to and fro and -up and down; I think we should have felt a little lonely there if it had -not been for one another, the angels were so bright. - -God asked me what I had come for; and I drew my sister forward a little -that he might see her. - -God said, "How is it you are here together today?" - -I said, "She was upon the ground in the street, and they passed over -her; I lay down by her, and she put her arms around my neck, and so I -lifted her, and we two rose together." - -God said, "Whom are you now come to accuse before me?" - -I said, "We are come to accuse no man." - -And God bent, and said, "My children--what is it that ye seek?" - -And she beside me drew my hand that I should speak for both. - -I said, "We have come to ask that thou shouldst speak to Man, our -brother, and give us a message for him that he might understand, and -that he might--" - -God said, "Go, take the message down to him!" - -I said, "But what is the message?" - -God said, "Upon your hearts it is written; take it down to him." - -And we turned to go; the angels went with us to the door. They looked at -us. - -And one said--"Ai! but their dresses are beautiful!" - -And the other said, "I thought it was mire when they came in, but see, -it is all golden!" - -But another said, "Hush, it is the light from their faces!" - -And we went down to him. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - - -XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. - -In the dark one night I lay upon my bed. I heard the policeman's feet -beat on the pavement; I heard the wheels of carriages roll home from -houses of entertainment; I heard a woman's laugh below my window--and -then I fell asleep. And in the dark I dreamt a dream. I dreamt God took -my soul to Hell. - -Hell was a fair place; the water of the lake was blue. - -I said to God, "I like this place." - -God said, "Ay, dost thou!" - -Birds sang, turf came to the water-edge, and trees grew from it. Away -off among the trees I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of -many delicate colours and clung to them, and they were tall and graceful -and had yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided -in and out among the trees, and over their heads hung yellow fruit like -large pears of melted gold. - -I said, "It is very fair; I would go up and taste the--" - -God said, "Wait." - -And after a while I noticed a very fair woman pass: she looked this way -and that, and drew down a branch, and it seemed she kissed the fruit -upon it softly, and went on her way, and her dress made no rustle as she -passed over the grass. And when I saw her no more, from among the stems -came another woman fair as she had been, in a delicate tinted robe; she -looked this way and that. When she saw no one there she drew down the -fruit, and when she had looked over it to find a place, she put her -mouth to it softly, and went away. And I saw other and other women come, -making no noise, and they glided away also over the grass. - -And I said to God, "What are they doing?" - -God said, "They are poisoning." - -And I said, "How?" - -God said, "They touch it with their lips, when they have made a tiny -wound in it with their fore-teeth they set in it that which is under -their tongues: they close it with their lip--that no man may see the -place, and pass on." - -I said to God, "Why do they do it?" - -God said, "That another may not eat." - -I said to God, "But if they poison all then none dare eat; what do they -gain?" - -God said, "Nothing." - -I said, "Are they not afraid they themselves may bite where another has -bitten?" - -God said, "They are afraid. In Hell all men fear." - -He called me further. And the water of the lake seemed less blue. - -Then, to the right among the trees were men working. And I said to God, -"I should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very fruitful -place, the grass is so green." - -God said, "Nothing grows in the garden they are making." - -We stood looking; and I saw them working among the bushes, digging -holes, but in them they set nothing; and when they had covered them with -sticks and earth each went a way off and sat behind the bushes watching; -and I noticed that as each walked he set his foot down carefully looking -where he trod. I said to God, "What are they doing?" - -God said, "Making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink." - -I said to God, "Why do they do it?" - -God said, "Because each thinks that when his brother falls he will -rise." - -I said to God, "How will he rise?" - -God said, "He will not rise." - -And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes. - -I said to God, "Are these men sane?" - -God said, "They are not sane; there is no sane man in Hell." - -And he told me to come further. - -And I looked where I trod. - -And we came where Hell opened into a plain, and a great house stood -there. Marble pillars upheld the roof, and white marble steps let up to -it. The wind of heaven blew through it. Only at the back hung a thick -curtain. Fair men and women there feasted at long tables. They danced, -and I saw the robes of women flutter in the air and heard the laugh of -strong men. What they feasted with was wine; they drew it from large -jars which stood somewhat in the background, and I saw the wine sparkle -as they drew it. - -And I said to God, "I should like to go up and drink." And God said, -"Wait." And I saw men coming in to the Banquet House; they came in from -the back and lifted the corner of the curtain at the sides and crept in -quickly; and they let the curtain fall behind them; they bore great jars -they could hardly carry. And the men and women crowded round them, and -the new-comers opened their jars and gave them of the wine to drink; -and I saw that the women drank even more greedily than the men. And when -others had well drunken they set the jars among the old ones beside the -wall, and took their places at the table. And I saw that some of the -jars were very old and mildewed and dusty, but others had still drops of -new must on them and shone from the furnace. - -And I said to God, "What is that?" For amid the sound of the singing, -and over the dancing of feet, and over the laughing across the wine-cups -I heard a cry. - -And God said, "Stand a way off." - -And he took me where I saw both sides of the curtain. Behind the house -was the wine-press where the wine was made. I saw the grapes crushed, -and I heard them cry. I said, "Do not they on the other side hear it?" - -God said, "The curtain is thick; they are feasting." - -And I said, "But the men who came in last. They saw?" - -God said, "They let the curtain fall behind them--and they forget!" - -I said, "How came they by their jars of wine?" - -God said, "In the treading of the press these are they who came to the -top; they have climbed out over the edge, and filled their jars from -below, and have gone into the house." - -And I said, "And if they had fallen as they climbed--?" - -God said, "They had been wine." - -I stood a way off watching in the sunshine, and I shivered. - -God lay in the sunshine watching too. - -Then there rose one among the feasters, who said, "My brethren, let us -pray!" - -And all the men and women rose: and strong men bowed their heads, and -mothers folded their little children's hands together, and turned their -faces upwards, to the roof. And he who first had risen stood at the -table head, and stretched out both his hands, and his beard was long -and white, and his sleeves and his beard had been dipped in wine; and -because the sleeves were wide and full they held much wine, and it -dropped down upon the floor. - -And he cried, "My brothers and my sisters, let us pray." - -And all the men and women answered, "Let us pray." - -He cried, "For this fair banquet-house we thank thee, Lord." - -And all the men and women said "We thank thee, Lord." - -"Thine is this house, dear Lord." - -"Thine is this house." - -"For us hast thou made it." - -"For us." - -"Oh, fill our jars with wine, dear Lord." - -"Our jars with wine." - -"Give peace and plenty in our time, dear Lord." - -"Peace and plenty in our time"--I said to God, "Whom is it they are -talking to?" God said, "Do I know whom they speak of?" And I saw they -were looking up at the roof; but out in the sunshine, God lay. - -"--dear Lord!" - -"Dear Lord." - -"Our children's children, Lord, shall rise and call thee blessed." - -"Our children's children, Lord."--I said to God, "The grapes are -crying!" God said, "Still! I hear them"--"shall call thee blessed." - -"Shall call thee blessed." - -"Pour forth more wine upon us, Lord." - -"More wine." - -"More wine." - -"More wine!" - -"Wine!!" - -"Wine!!" - -"Wine!!!" - -"Dear Lord!" - -Then men and women sat down and the feast went on. And mothers poured -out wine and fed their little children with it, and men held up the -cup to women's lips and cried, "Beloved! drink," and women filled their -lovers' flagons and held them up; and yet the feast went on. - -And after a while I looked, and I saw the curtain that hung behind the -house moving. - -I said to God, "Is it a wind?" - -God said, "A wind." - -And it seemed to me, that against the curtain I saw pressed the forms -of men and women. And after a while the feasters saw it move, and they -whispered, one to another. Then some rose and gathered the most worn-out -cups, and into them they put what was left at the bottom of other -vessels. Mothers whispered to their children, "Do not drink all, save -a little drop when you have drunk." And when they had collected all the -dregs they slipped the cups out under the bottom of the curtain without -lifting it. After a while the curtain left off moving. - -I said to God, "How is it so quiet?" - -He said, "They have gone away to drink it." - -I said, "They drink it--their own!" - -God said, "It comes from this side of the curtain, and they are very -thirsty." - -Then the feast went on, and after a while I saw a small, white hand -slipped in below the curtain's edge along the floor; and it motioned -towards the wine jars. - -And I said to God, "Why is that hand so bloodless?" - -And God said, "It is a wine-pressed hand." - -And men saw it and started to their feet; and women cried, and ran to -the great wine jars, and threw their arms around them, and cried, "Ours, -our own, our beloved!" and twined their long hair about them. - -I said to God, "Why are they frightened of that one small hand?" - -God answered, "Because it is so white." - -And men ran in a great company towards the curtain, and struggled there. -I heard them strike upon the floor. And when they moved away the curtain -hung smooth and still; and there was a small stain upon the floor. - -I said to God, "Why do they not wash it out?" - -God said, "They cannot." - -And they took small stones and put them down along the edge of the -curtain to keep it down. Then the men and women sat down again at the -tables. - -And I said to God, "Will those stones keep it down?" - -God said, "What think you?" - -I said, "If the wind blew?" - -God said, "If the wind blew?" - -And the feast went on. - -And suddenly I cried to God, "If one should rise among them, even of -themselves, and start up from the table and should cast away his -cup, and cry, 'My brothers and my sisters, stay! what is it that we -drink?'--and with his sword should cut in two the curtain, and holding -wide the fragments, cry, 'Brothers, sisters, see! it is not wine, not -wine! not wine! My brothers, oh, my sisters!' and he should overturn -the--" - -God said, "Be still!--, see there." - -I looked: before the banquet-house, among the grass, I saw a row of -mounds, flowers covered them, and gilded marble stood at their heads. I -asked God what they were. - -He answered, "They are the graves of those who rose up at the feast and -cried." - -And I asked God how they came there. - -He said, "The men of the banquet-house rose and cast them down -backwards." - -I said, "Who buried them?" - -God said, "The men who cast them down." - -I said, "How came it that they threw them down, and then set marble over -them?" - -God said, "Because the bones cried out, they covered them." - -And among the grass and weeds I saw an unburied body lying; and I asked -God why it was. - -God said, "Because it was thrown down only yesterday. In a little while, -when the flesh shall have fallen from its bones, they will bury it also, -and plant flowers over it." - -And still the feast went on. - -Men and women sat at the tables quaffing great bowls. Some rose, and -threw their arms about each other, and danced and sang. They pledged -each other in the wine, and kissed each other's blood-red lips. - -Higher and higher grew the revels. - -Men, when they had drunk till they could no longer, threw what was left -in their glasses up to the roof, and let it fall back in cascades. Women -dyed their children's garments in the wine, and fed them on it till -their tiny mouths were red. Sometimes, as the dancers whirled, they -overturned a vessel, and their garments were bespattered. Children sat -upon the floor with great bowls of wine, and swam rose-leaves on it, for -boats. They put their hands in the wine and blew large red bubbles. - -And higher and higher grew the revels, and wilder the dancing, and -louder and louder the singing. But here and there among the revellers -were those who did not revel. I saw that at the tables here and there -were men who sat with their elbows on the board and hands shading their -eyes; they looked into the wine-cup beneath them, and did not drink. And -when one touched them lightly on the shoulder, bidding them to rise -and dance and sing, they started, and then looked down, and sat there -watching the wine in the cup, but they did not move. - -And here and there I saw a woman sit apart. The others danced and sang -and fed their children, but she sat silent with her head aside as though -she listened. Her little children plucked her gown; she did not see -them; she was listening to some sound, but she did not stir. - -The revels grew higher. Men drank till they could drink no longer, and -lay their heads upon the table sleeping heavily. Women who could dance -no more leaned back on the benches with their heads against their -lovers' shoulders. Little children, sick with wine, lay down upon the -edges of their mothers' robes. Sometimes, a man rose suddenly, and as he -staggered struck the tables and overthrew the benches; some leaned upon -the balustrades sick unto death. Here and there one rose who staggered -to the wine jars and lay down beside them. He turned the wine tap, but -sleep overcame him as he lay there, and the wine ran out. - -Slowly the thin, red stream ran across the white marbled floor; it -reached the stone steps; slowly, slowly, slowly it trickled down, from -step to step, from step to step: then it sank into the earth. A thin -white smoke rose up from it. - -I was silent; I could not breathe; but God called me to come further. - -And after I had travelled for a while I came where on seven hills lay -the ruins of a mighty banquet-house larger and stronger than the one -which I had seen standing. - -I said to God, "What did the men who built it here?" - -God said, "They feasted." - -I said, "On what?" - -God said, "On wine." - -And I looked; and it seemed to me that behind the ruins lay still a -large circular hollow within the earth where a foot of the wine-press -had stood. - -I said to God, "How came it that this large house fell?" - -God said, "Because the earth was sodden." - -He called me to come further. - -And at last we came upon a hill where blue waters played, and white -marble lay upon the earth. I said to God, "What was here once?" - -God said, "A pleasure house." - -I looked, and at my feet great pillars lay. I cried aloud for joy to -God, "The marble blossoms!" - -God said, "Ay, 'twas a fairy house. There has not been one like to it, -nor ever shall be. The pillars and the porticoes blossomed; and the -wine cups were as gathered flowers: on this side all the curtain was -broidered with fair designs, the stitching was of gold." - -I said to God, "How came it that it fell?" - -God said, "On the side of the wine-press it was dark." - -And as we travelled, we came where lay a mighty ridge of sand, and a -dark river ran there; and there rose two vast mounds. - -I said to God, "They are very mighty." - -God said, "Ay, exceeding great." - -And I listened. - -God asked me what I was listening to. - -And I said, "A sound of weeping, and I hear the sound of strokes, but I -cannot tell whence it comes." - -God said, "It is the echo of the wine-press lingering still among the -coping-stones upon the mounds. A banquet-house stood here." - -And he called me to come further. - -Upon a barren hill-side, where the soil was arid, God called me to stand -still. And I looked around. - -God said, "There was a feasting-house here once upon a time." - -I said to God, "I see no mark of any!" - -God said, "There was not left one stone upon another that has not been -thrown down." And I looked round; and on the hill-side was a lonely -grave. - -I said to God, "What lies there?" - -He said, "A vine truss, bruised in the wine-press!" - -And at the head of the grave stood a cross, and on its foot lay a crown -of thorns. - -And as I turned to go, I looked backward. The wine-press and the -banquet-house were gone; but the grave yet stood. - -And when I came to the edge of a long ridge there opened out before me -a wide plain of sand. And when I looked downward I saw great stones lie -shattered; and the desert sand had half covered them over. - -I said to God, "There is writing on them, but I cannot read it." - -And God blew aside the desert sand, and I read the writing: "Weighed in -the balance, and found--" but the last word was wanting. - -And I said to God, "It was a banquet-house?" - -God said, "Ay, a banquet-house." - -I said, "There was a wine-press here?" - -God said, "There was a wine-press." - -I asked no further question. I was very weary; I shaded my eyes with my -hand, and looked through the pink evening light. - -Far off, across the sand, I saw two figures standing. With wings -upfolded high above their heads, and stern faces set, neither man nor -beast, they looked out across the desert sand, watching, watching, -watching! I did not ask God what they were, for I knew what the answer -would be. - -And, further and yet further, in the evening light, I looked with my -shaded eyes. - -Far off, where the sands were thick and heavy, I saw a solitary pillar -standing: the crown had fallen, and the sand had buried it. On the -broken pillar sat a grey owl-of-the-desert, with folded wings; and in -the evening light I saw the desert fox creep past it, trailing his brush -across the sand. - -Further, yet further, as I looked across the desert, I saw the sand -gathered into heaps as though it covered something. - -I cried to God, "Oh, I am so weary." - -God said, "You have seen only one half of Hell." - -I said, "I cannot see more, I am afraid of Hell. In my own narrow little -path I dare not walk because I think that one has dug a pitfall for -me; and if I put my hand to take a fruit I draw it back again because I -think it has been kissed already. If I look out across the plains, the -mounds are burial heaps; and when I pass among the stones I hear them -crying aloud. When I see men dancing I hear the time beaten in with -sobs; and their wine is living! Oh, I cannot bear Hell!" - -God said, "Where will you go?" - -I said "To the earth from which I came; it was better there." - -And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed. - -God said, "Come, and I will show you Heaven." - -... - -And partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages -had died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the -policeman's tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great -hand lay upon my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed -from side to side; and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed. - -God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The -gulf, it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two bridges -crossing it that both sloped upwards. - -I said to God, "Is there no other way by which men cross it?" - -God said, "One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards." - -I asked God what the bridges' names were. - -God said, "What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the -Beautiful, if you will--you will yet not understand them." - -I asked God how it was I could not see the third. - -God said, "It is seen only by those who climb it." - -I said, "Do they all lead to one heaven?" - -God said, "All Heaven is one: nevertheless some parts are higher than -others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the -lower; but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the -higher; nevertheless the light is all one." - -And I saw over the bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other, -countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it. - -God said, "It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven." - -And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God -how it was. - -He said, "No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, -when they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there -is no land beyond." - -I said, "Has none ever returned?" - -God said, "No; once in Heaven always in Heaven." - -And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors--for -Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open--the posts rose up -so high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there were -any. - -And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it. - -I said to God, "Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?" - -God said, "Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be -engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell." - -And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every -hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks -and stones. I asked God how it was. - -But God did not answer me. - -I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be otherwise. And -after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, -and I asked God if the sun were not going to rise. - -God said, "No; we are coming to where the people are." - -And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning -day; and on the rock were flowers blooming, and trees blossomed at the -roadside; and streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds -singing; I asked God where they were. - -God said, "It is the people calling to one another." - -And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they -walked. I asked God how it was they wore no covering. - -God said, "Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover -any part." - -And I asked God what they were doing. - -God said, "Shining on the plants that they may grow." - -And I saw that some were working in companies, and some alone, but most -were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally -there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was. - -God said, "When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most -perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless, -there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many -kinds of light." - -And one from among the people came running towards me; and when he came -near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were -little children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told -God what I felt; God said, "All men feel so in Heaven when another comes -towards them." - -And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright -lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his -companion answered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She -said, "He must have water"; and she took some in her hands, and fed me -(I had been afraid to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered -fruit for me, and gave it me to eat. They said, "We shone long to make -it ripen," and they laughed together as they saw me eat it. - -The man said, "He is very weary; he must sleep" (for I had not dared to -sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his companion's knee and spread -her hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought -I heard the birds calling across me. And when I woke it was like early -morning, with the dew on everything. - -And the man took my hand and led me to a hidden spot among the rocks. -The ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and -there was a little stream running. He said, "This is a garden we are -making, no one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the -ground has cracked with our shining, and this little stream is bursting -out. See, the flowers are growing." - -And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers -with dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my -hands shone as I held them. He said, "This garden is for all when it is -finished." And he went away to his companion, and I went out into the -great pathway. - -And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And -when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows -were standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter -than anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said, -"Hush! Our singing bird." - -And I asked why the eyes shone so. - -And he said, "They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone -so." - -And the people gathered closer round him. - -And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees -of light with great laughter. When they came close I saw they carried -one without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so -bright that I could not look at them. - -And I said to one, "What is it?" - -He answered, "This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and -feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the -maimed stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in -Heaven. We pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat. -No one is allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all;" and they went on -among the trees. - -I said to God, "This is a strange land. I had thought blindness and -maimedness were great evils. Here men make them to a rejoicing." - -God said, "Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!" - -And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand. I said to -God, "Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have -dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again. I will stay here -and shine." And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as -others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light. -I said to God, "How is it?" - -God said, "Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against -none?" - -And I said, "Yes--"; and I thought--"Now is the time when I will tell -God, that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly my -fellow-men have treated me. How they have misunderstood me. How I have -intended to be magnanimous and generous to them, and they--." And I -began to tell God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering -under my breath, and I was silent. - -And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my mantle about me -and followed him. - -And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at -last to a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the -clouds. And on its side I saw men working; and they picked at the -earth with huge picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily. And some -laboured in companies, but most laboured singly. And I saw the drops of -sweat fall from their foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out -with labour. And I said, "I had not thought in heaven to see men -labour so!" And I thought of the garden where men sang and loved, and -I wondered that any should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side. -And I saw upon the foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the -drops which fell from them as they worked had light. - -And I asked God what they were seeking for. - -And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small -stones, which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that -the light of the stones and the light on the men's foreheads was the -same. And I saw that when one found a stone he passed it on to his -fellow, and he to another, and he to another. No man kept the stone he -found. And at times they gathered in great company about when a large -stone was found, and raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then -they worked on again. - -And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last. Then -God touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my -very feet was a mighty crown. The light streamed out from it. - -God said, "Each stone as they find it is set here." - -And the crown was wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern -ran through all, yet each part was different. - -I said to God, "How does each man know where to set his stone, so that -the pattern is worked out?" - -God said, "Because in the light his forehead sheds each man sees faintly -outlined that full crown." - -And I said, "But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to -its fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?" - -God said, "The stones are alive; they grow." - -And I said, "But what does each man gain by his working?" - -God said, "He sees his outline filled." - -I said, "But those stones which are last set cover those which were -first; and those will again be covered by those which come later." - -God said, "They are covered, but not hid. The light is the light of all. -Without the first, no last." - -And I said to God, "When will this crown be ended?" - -And God said, "Look up!" - -I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its summit I -could not see; it was lost in the clouds. - -God said no more. - -And I looked at the crown: then a longing seized me. Like the passion -of a mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of -a friend for the friend whom life has buried; like the hunger of dying -eyes for a life that is slipping; like the thirst of a soul for love at -its first spring waking, so, but fiercer was the longing in me. - -I cried to God, "I too will work here; I too will set stones in the -wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand. And if it be that, -labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will -be with the men that labour here. I shall hear their shout of joy when -each stone is found; I shall join in their triumph, I shall shout among -them; I shall see the crown grow." So great was my longing as I looked -at the crown, I thought a faint light fell from my forehead also. - -God said, "Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?" - -I said, "No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown." And I was dumb with -longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing -there. And I ran forward, and threw my mantle on the earth and bent to -seize one of the mighty tools which lay there. I could not lift it from -the earth. - -God said, "Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy -mantle." - -And I took up my mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked -back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved. - -Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner. Not a tree or -plant was on the bare rocks, and the stillness was unbroken. My breath -came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips. I said -to God, "Is this Heaven?" - -God said, "Yes; it is the highest." - -And still we climbed. I said to God, "I cannot breathe so high." - -God said, "Because the air is pure?" - -And my head grew dizzy, and as I climbed the blood burst from my -finger-tips. - -Then we came out upon a lonely mountain-top. - -No living being moved there; but far off on a solitary peak I saw a -lonely figure standing. Whether it were man or woman I could not tell; -for partly it seemed the figure of a woman, but its limbs were the -mighty limbs of a man. I asked God whether it was man or woman. - -God said, "In the least Heaven sex reigns supreme; in the higher it is -not noticed; but in the highest it does not exist." - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and labour mightily, but what -it laboured at I could not see. - -I said to God, "How came it here?" - -God said, "By a bloody stair. Step by step it mounted from the lowest -Hell, and day by day as Hell grew farther and Heaven no nearer, it hung -alone between two worlds. Hour by hour in that bitter struggle its limbs -grew larger, till there fell from it rag by rag the garments which it -started with. Drops fell from its eyes as it strained them; each step it -climbed was wet with blood. Then it came out here." - -And I thought of the garden where men sang with their arms around one -another; and the mountain-side where they worked in company. And I -shuddered. - -And I said, "Is it not terribly alone here?" - -God said, "It is never alone!" - -I said, "What has it for all its labour? I see nothing return to it." - -Then God touched my eyes, and I saw stretched out beneath us the plains -of Heaven and Hell, and all that was within them. - -God said, "From that lone height on which he stands, all things are -open. To him is clear the shining in the garden, he sees the flower -break forth and the streams sparkle; no shout is raised upon the -mountain-side but his ear may hear it. He sees the crown grow and the -light shoot from it. All Hell is open to him. He sees the paths mount -upwards. To him, Hell is the seed ground from which Heaven springs. He -sees the sap ascending." - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and the light from its face -fell upon it. - -And I said to God, "What is it making?" - -And God said, "Music!" - -And he touched my ears, and I heard it. - -And after a long while I whispered to God, "This is Heaven." - -And God asked me why I was crying. But I could not answer for joy. - -And the face turned from its work, and the light fell upon me. Then it -grew so bright I could not see things separately; and which were God, -or the man, or I, I could not tell; we were all blended. I cried to God, -"Where are you?" but there was no answer, only music and light. - -Afterwards, when it had grown so dark again that I could see things -separately, I found that I was standing there wrapped tight in my little -old, brown, earthly cloak, and God and the man were separated from each -other, and from me. - -I did not dare say I would go and make music beside the man. I knew I -could not reach even to his knee, nor move the instrument he played. -But I thought I would stand there on my little peak and sing an -accompaniment to that great music. And I tried; but my voice failed. It -piped and quavered. I could not sing that tune. I was silent. - -Then God pointed to me, that I should go out of Heaven. - -And I cried to God, "Oh, let me stay here! If indeed it be, as I know -it is, that I am not great enough to sing upon the mountain, nor strong -enough to labour on its side, nor bright enough to shine and love within -the garden, at least let me go down to the great gateway; humbly I will -kneel there sweeping; and, as the saved pass in, I will see the light -upon their faces. I shall hear the singing in the garden, and the shout -upon the hillside--" - -God said, "It may not be;" he pointed. - -And I cried, "If I may not stay in Heaven, then let me go down to Hell, -and I will grasp the hands of men and women there; and slowly, holding -one another's hands, we will work our way upwards." - -Still God pointed. - -And I threw myself upon the earth and cried, "Earth is so small, so -mean! It is not meet a soul should see Heaven and be cast out again!" - -And God laid his hand on me, and said, "Go back to earth: that which you -seek is there." - -I awoke: it was morning. The silence and darkness of the night were -gone. Through my narrow attic window I saw the light of another day. I -closed my eyes and turned towards the wall: I could not look upon the -dull grey world. - -In the streets below, men and women streamed past by hundreds; I heard -the beat of their feet on the pavement. Men on their way to business; -servants on errands; boys hurrying to school; weary professors pacing -slowly the old street; prostitutes, men and women, dragging their -feet wearily after last night's debauch; artists with quick, impatient -footsteps; tradesmen for orders; children to seek for bread. I heard the -stream beat by. And at the alley's mouth, at the street corner, a broken -barrel-organ was playing; sometimes it quavered and almost stopped, then -went on again, like a broken human voice. - -I listened: my heart scarcely moved; it was as cold as lead. I could -not bear the long day before me; and I tried to sleep again; yet still I -heard the feet upon the pavement. And suddenly I heard them cry loud as -they beat, "We are seeking!--we are seeking!--we are seeking!" and the -broken barrel-organ at the street corner sobbed, "The Beautiful!--the -Beautiful!--the Beautiful!" And my heart, which had been dead, cried out -with every throb, "Love!--Truth!--the Beautiful!--the Beautiful!" It was -the music I had heard in Heaven that I could not sing there. - -And fully I awoke. - -Upon the faded quilt, across my bed a long yellow streak of pale London -sunlight was lying. It fell through my narrow attic window. - -I laughed. I rose. - -I was glad the long day was before me. - -Paris and London. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DREAMS *** - -***** This file should be named 1439.txt or 1439.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/3/1439/ - -Produced by Sue Asscher - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at -http://gutenberg.org/license). - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" -or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at -http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at -809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email -business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact -information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official -page at http://pglaf.org - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit http://pglaf.org - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/1439.zip b/old/1439.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index f4c2158..0000000 --- a/old/1439.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/old-2025-02-01/1439-0.txt b/old/old-2025-02-01/1439-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 6000ab5..0000000 --- a/old/old-2025-02-01/1439-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2477 +0,0 @@ -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1439 *** - -DREAMS - -By Olive Schreiner - - - To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of - that which for us is yet sight, not touch. - - - Note. - - These Dreams are printed in the order in which they were - written. - - In the case of two there was a lapse of some years between - the writing of the first and last parts; these are placed - according to the date of the first part. - - Olive Schreiner. - - - Matjesfontein, - Cape Colony, - South Africa. - November, 1890. - - - - -CONTENTS. - - I. The Lost Joy. - - II. The Hunter (From “The Story of of an African Farm”). - - III. The Gardens of Pleasure. - - IV. In a Far-off World. - - V. Three Dreams in a Desert. - - VI. A Dream of Wild Bees (Written as a letter to a friend). - - VII. In a Ruined Chapel. - - VIII. Life’s Gifts. - - IX. The Artist’s Secret. - - X. “I Thought I Stood.” - - XI. The Sunlight Lay across My Bed. - - - - - -I. THE LOST JOY. - -All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat. - -All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face -looked out across the water. She was waiting--she was waiting; but she -could not tell for what. - -All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the -pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her -eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee -and fell asleep, waiting still. - -Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore--Life -awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed -through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of -Love--and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting. - -And Love drew Life up to him. - -And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful--Joy, First-Joy -was it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water is not -so glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun’s -first kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was -so warm, so soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the -sunshine: and Love and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it -to the other, but deep in its own heart each said, “It shall be ours for -ever.” - -Then there came a time--was it after weeks? was it after months? (Love -and Life do not measure time)--when the thing was not as it had been. - -Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with -purple berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the -little eyes looked out heavily across the water. - -And Life and Love dared not look into each other’s eyes, dared not say, -“What ails our darling?” Each heart whispered to itself, “It is nothing, -it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear.” But tomorrow and -tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but -heavily, more heavily. - -One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it -was gone: only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with -wide-open eyes, very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked -apart, weeping bitterly, “Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no -more for ever?” - -The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of -each, and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between -them. And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected -in its soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, “I am weary, -I am weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark -is all before,” a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon -the hill-sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always -the little brave mouth was smiling quietly. - -When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his -garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the -desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over -the hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert -found water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love’s lips with. He -was no burden--he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on -their journey. - -When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the -rocks--for Love and Life must pass through strange drear places--there, -where all is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands -and held them against his beating little heart, and warmed them--and -softly he drew them on and on. - -And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers, -strangely the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face. -Brightly laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the -hollow tree; and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them -water in the leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them -round their heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as -their Joy had touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly. - -So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with -that little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered -that first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, “Oh! could we but -find him also!” - -At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who -has always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who -steals light out of the past to shed it on the future. - -And Life and Love cried out, “O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a -lovely radiant thing belonged to us--gladness without a tear, sunshine -without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall we go -that we may find it?” - -And she, the wise old woman, answered, “To have it back, will you give -up that which walks beside you now?” - -And in agony Love and Life cried, “No!” - -“Give up this!” said Life. “When the thorns have pierced me, who will -suck the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands -upon it and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm -my freezing heart?” - -And Love cried out, “Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without -this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!” - -And the wise old woman answered, “O fools and blind! What you once had -is that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant -thing is born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when -the shades begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold -and long--then it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL -not know it--till one day they start up suddenly, crying, ‘O God! O God! -we have lost it! Where is it?’ They do not understand that they could -not carry the laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost, -and the snow. They do not know that what walks beside them still is the -Joy grown older. The grave, sweet, tender thing--warm in the coldest -snows, brave in the dreariest deserts--its name is Sympathy; it is the -Perfect Love.” - -South Africa. - - - - -II. THE HUNTER. - -In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for -wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores -of a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming -of the birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a -reflection. He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a -burning desire came over him to see once again that reflection in the -water, and all day he watched and waited; but night came and it had not -returned. Then he went home with his empty bag, moody and silent. His -comrades came questioning about him to know the reason, but he answered -them nothing; he sat alone and brooded. Then his friend came to him, and -to him he spoke. - -“I have seen today,” he said, “that which I never saw before--a vast -white bird, with silver wings outstretched, sailing in the everlasting -blue. And now it is as though a great fire burnt within my breast. It -was but a sheen, a shimmer, a reflection in the water; but now I desire -nothing more on earth than to hold her.” - -His friend laughed. - -“It was but a beam playing on the water, or the shadow of your own head. -Tomorrow you will forget her,” he said. - -But tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow the hunter walked alone. -He sought in the forest and in the woods, by the lakes and among the -rushes, but he could not find her. He shot no more wild fowl; what were -they to him? - -“What ails him?” said his comrades. - -“He is mad,” said one. - -“No; but he is worse,” said another; “he would see that which none of us -have seen, and make himself a wonder.” - -“Come, let us forswear his company,” said all. - -So the hunter walked alone. - -One night, as he wandered in the shade, very heartsore and weeping, an -old man stood before him, grander and taller than the sons of men. - -“Who are you?” asked the hunter. - -“I am Wisdom,” answered the old man; “but some men call me Knowledge. -All my life I have grown in these valleys; but no man sees me till he -has sorrowed much. The eyes must be washed with tears that are to behold -me; and, according as a man has suffered, I speak.” - -And the hunter cried: - -“Oh, you who have lived here so long, tell me, what is that great wild -bird I have seen sailing in the blue? They would have me believe she is -a dream; the shadow of my own head.” - -The old man smiled. - -“Her name is Truth. He who has once seen her never rests again. Till -death he desires her.” - -And the hunter cried: - -“Oh, tell me where I may find her.” - -But the old man said: - -“You have not suffered enough,” and went. - -Then the hunter took from his breast the shuttle of Imagination, and -wound on it the thread of his Wishes; and all night he sat and wove a -net. - -In the morning he spread the golden net upon the ground, and into it -he threw a few grains of credulity, which his father had left him, and -which he kept in his breast-pocket. They were like white puff-balls, and -when you trod on them a brown dust flew out. Then he sat by to see what -would happen. The first that came into the net was a snow-white -bird, with dove’s eyes, and he sang a beautiful song--“A human-God! a -human-God! a human-God!” it sang. The second that came was black and -mystical, with dark, lovely eyes, that looked into the depths of your -soul, and he sang only this--“Immortality!” - -And the hunter took them both in his arms, for he said-- - -“They are surely of the beautiful family of Truth.” - -Then came another, green and gold, who sang in a shrill voice, like one -crying in the marketplace,--“Reward after Death! Reward after Death!” - -And he said-- - -“You are not so fair; but you are fair too,” and he took it. - -And others came, brightly coloured, singing pleasant songs, till all the -grains were finished. And the hunter gathered all his birds together, -and built a strong iron cage called a new creed, and put all his birds -in it. - -Then the people came about dancing and singing. - -“Oh, happy hunter!” they cried. “Oh, wonderful man! Oh, delightful -birds! Oh, lovely songs!” - -No one asked where the birds had come from, nor how they had been -caught; but they danced and sang before them. And the hunter too was -glad, for he said: - -“Surely Truth is among them. In time she will moult her feathers, and I -shall see her snow-white form.” - -But the time passed, and the people sang and danced; but the hunter’s -heart grew heavy. He crept alone, as of old, to weep; the terrible -desire had awakened again in his breast. One day, as he sat alone -weeping, it chanced that Wisdom met him. He told the old man what he had -done. - -And Wisdom smiled sadly. - -“Many men,” he said, “have spread that net for Truth; but they have -never found her. On the grains of credulity she will not feed; in the -net of wishes her feet cannot be held; in the air of these valleys she -will not breathe. The birds you have caught are of the brood of Lies. -Lovely and beautiful, but still lies; Truth knows them not.” - -And the hunter cried out in bitterness-- - -“And must I then sit still, to be devoured of this great burning?” - -And the old man said, - -“Listen, and in that you have suffered much and wept much, I will tell -you what I know. He who sets out to search for Truth must leave these -valleys of superstition forever, taking with him not one shred that has -belonged to them. Alone he must wander down into the Land of Absolute -Negation and Denial; he must abide there; he must resist temptation; -when the light breaks he must arise and follow it into the country of -dry sunshine. The mountains of stern reality will rise before him; he -must climb them; beyond them lies Truth.” - -“And he will hold her fast! he will hold her in his hands!” the hunter -cried. - -Wisdom shook his head. - -“He will never see her, never hold her. The time is not yet.” - -“Then there is no hope?” cried the hunter. - -“There is this,” said Wisdom: “Some men have climbed on those mountains; -circle above circle of bare rock they have scaled; and, wandering there, -in those high regions, some have chanced to pick up on the ground one -white silver feather, dropped from the wing of Truth. And it shall come -to pass,” said the old man, raising himself prophetically and pointing -with his finger to the sky, “it shall come to pass, that when enough of -those silver feathers shall have been gathered by the hands of men, and -shall have been woven into a cord, and the cord into a net, that in that -net Truth may be captured. Nothing but Truth can hold Truth.” - -The hunter arose. “I will go,” he said. - -But wisdom detained him. - -“Mark you well--who leaves these valleys never returns to them. Though -he should weep tears of blood seven days and nights upon the confines, -he can never put his foot across them. Left--they are left forever. Upon -the road which you would travel there is no reward offered. Who goes, -goes freely--for the great love that is in him. The work is his reward.” - -“I go” said the hunter; “but upon the mountains, tell me, which path -shall I take?” - -“I am the child of The-Accumulated-Knowledge-of-Ages,” said the man; “I -can walk only where many men have trodden. On these mountains few feet -have passed; each man strikes out a path for himself. He goes at his own -peril: my voice he hears no more. I may follow after him, but cannot go -before him.” - -Then Knowledge vanished. - -And the hunter turned. He went to his cage, and with his hands broke -down the bars, and the jagged iron tore his flesh. It is sometimes -easier to build than to break. - -One by one he took his plumed birds and let them fly. But when he came -to his dark-plumed bird he held it, and looked into its beautiful eyes, -and the bird uttered its low, deep cry--“Immortality!” - -And he said quickly: “I cannot part with it. It is not heavy; it eats -no food. I will hide it in my breast; I will take it with me.” And he -buried it there and covered it over with his cloak. - -But the thing he had hidden grew heavier, heavier, heavier--till it lay -on his breast like lead. He could not move with it. He could not leave -those valleys with it. Then again he took it out and looked at it. - -“Oh, my beautiful! my heart’s own!” he cried, “may I not keep you?” - -He opened his hands sadly. - -“Go!” he said. “It may happen that in Truth’s song one note is like -yours; but I shall never hear it.” - -Sadly he opened his hand, and the bird flew from him forever. - -Then from the shuttle of Imagination he took the thread of his wishes, -and threw it on the ground; and the empty shuttle he put into his -breast, for the thread was made in those valleys, but the shuttle came -from an unknown country. He turned to go, but now the people came about -him, howling. - -“Fool, hound, demented lunatic!” they cried. “How dared you break your -cage and let the birds fly?” - -The hunter spoke; but they would not hear him. - -“Truth! who is she? Can you eat her? can you drink her? Who has ever -seen her? Your birds were real: all could hear them sing! Oh, fool! vile -reptile! atheist!” they cried, “you pollute the air.” - -“Come, let us take up stones and stone him,” cried some. - -“What affair is it of ours?” said others. “Let the idiot go,” and went -away. But the rest gathered up stones and mud and threw at him. At last, -when he was bruised and cut, the hunter crept away into the woods. And -it was evening about him. - -He wandered on and on, and the shade grew deeper. He was on the borders -now of the land where it is always night. Then he stepped into it, and -there was no light there. With his hands he groped; but each branch -as he touched it broke off, and the earth was covered with cinders. At -every step his foot sank in, and a fine cloud of impalpable ashes flew -up into his face; and it was dark. So he sat down upon a stone and -buried his face in his hands, to wait in the Land of Negation and Denial -till the light came. - -And it was night in his heart also. - -Then from the marshes to his right and left cold mists arose and closed -about him. A fine, imperceptible rain fell in the dark, and great drops -gathered on his hair and clothes. His heart beat slowly, and a numbness -crept through all his limbs. Then, looking up, two merry wisp lights -came dancing. He lifted his head to look at them. Nearer, nearer they -came. So warm, so bright, they danced like stars of fire. They stood -before him at last. From the centre of the radiating flame in one looked -out a woman’s face, laughing, dimpled, with streaming yellow hair. In -the centre of the other were merry laughing ripples, like the bubbles on -a glass of wine. They danced before him. - -“Who are you,” asked the hunter, “who alone come to me in my solitude -and darkness?” - -“We are the twins Sensuality,” they cried. “Our father’s name is -Human-Nature, and our mother’s name is Excess. We are as old as the -hills and rivers, as old as the first man; but we never die,” they -laughed. - -“Oh, let me wrap my arms about you!” cried the first; “they are soft -and warm. Your heart is frozen now, but I will make it beat. Oh, come to -me!” - -“I will pour my hot life into you,” said the second; “your brain is -numb, and your limbs are dead now; but they shall live with a fierce -free life. Oh, let me pour it in!” - -“Oh, follow us,” they cried, “and live with us. Nobler hearts than yours -have sat here in this darkness to wait, and they have come to us and we -to them; and they have never left us, never. All else is a delusion, but -we are real, we are real, we are real. Truth is a shadow; the valleys of -superstition are a farce: the earth is of ashes, the trees all rotten; -but we--feel us--we live! You cannot doubt us. Feel us how warm we are! -Oh, come to us! Come with us!” - -Nearer and nearer round his head they hovered, and the cold drops melted -on his forehead. The bright light shot into his eyes, dazzling him, and -the frozen blood began to run. And he said: - -“Yes, why should I die here in this awful darkness? They are warm, they -melt my frozen blood!” and he stretched out his hands to take them. - -Then in a moment there arose before him the image of the thing he had -loved, and his hand dropped to his side. - -“Oh, come to us!” they cried. - -But he buried his face. - -“You dazzle my eyes,” he cried, “you make my heart warm; but you cannot -give me what I desire. I will wait here--wait till I die. Go!” - -He covered his face with his hands and would not listen; and when he -looked up again they were two twinkling stars, that vanished in the -distance. - -And the long, long night rolled on. - -All who leave the valley of superstition pass through that dark land; -but some go through it in a few days, some linger there for months, some -for years, and some die there. - -At last for the hunter a faint light played along the horizon, and he -rose to follow it; and he reached that light at last, and stepped into -the broad sunshine. Then before him rose the almighty mountains of -Dry-facts and Realities. The clear sunshine played on them, and the tops -were lost in the clouds. At the foot many paths ran up. An exultant cry -burst from the hunter. He chose the straightest and began to climb; -and the rocks and ridges resounded with his song. They had exaggerated; -after all, it was not so high, nor was the road so steep! A few days, a -few weeks, a few months at most, and then the top! Not one feather only -would he pick up; he would gather all that other men had found--weave -the net--capture Truth--hold her fast--touch her with his hands--clasp -her! - -He laughed in the merry sunshine, and sang loud. Victory was very near. -Nevertheless, after a while the path grew steeper. He needed all his -breath for climbing, and the singing died away. On the right and left -rose huge rocks, devoid of lichen or moss, and in the lava-like earth -chasms yawned. Here and there he saw a sheen of white bones. Now too the -path began to grow less and less marked; then it became a mere trace, -with a footmark here and there; then it ceased altogether. He sang no -more, but struck forth a path for himself, until it reached a mighty -wall of rock, smooth and without break, stretching as far as the eye -could see. “I will rear a stair against it; and, once this wall climbed, -I shall be almost there,” he said bravely; and worked. With his shuttle -of imagination he dug out stones; but half of them would not fit, and -half a month’s work would roll down because those below were ill chosen. -But the hunter worked on, saying always to himself, “Once this wall -climbed, I shall be almost there. This great work ended!” - -At last he came out upon the top, and he looked about him. Far below -rolled the white mist over the valleys of superstition, and above him -towered the mountains. They had seemed low before; they were of an -immeasurable height now, from crown to foundation surrounded by walls of -rock, that rose tier above tier in mighty circles. Upon them played -the eternal sunshine. He uttered a wild cry. He bowed himself on to -the earth, and when he rose his face was white. In absolute silence he -walked on. He was very silent now. In those high regions the rarefied -air is hard to breathe by those born in the valleys; every breath he -drew hurt him, and the blood oozed out from the tips of his fingers. -Before the next wall of rock he began to work. The height of this seemed -infinite, and he said nothing. The sound of his tool rang night and day -upon the iron rocks into which he cut steps. Years passed over him, -yet he worked on; but the wall towered up always above him to heaven. -Sometimes he prayed that a little moss or lichen might spring up on -those bare walls to be a companion to him; but it never came. - -And the years rolled on; he counted them by the steps he had cut--a few -for a year--only a few. He sang no more; he said no more, “I will do -this or that”--he only worked. And at night, when the twilight settled -down, there looked out at him from the holes and crevices in the rocks -strange wild faces. - -“Stop your work, you lonely man, and speak to us,” they cried. - -“My salvation is in work, if I should stop but for one moment you would -creep down upon me,” he replied. And they put out their long necks -further. - -“Look down into the crevice at your feet,” they said. “See what lie -there--white bones! As brave and strong a man as you climbed to these -rocks.” And he looked up. He saw there was no use in striving; he would -never hold Truth, never see her, never find her. So he lay down here, -for he was very tired. He went to sleep forever. He put himself to -sleep. Sleep is very tranquil. You are not lonely when you are asleep, -neither do your hands ache, nor your heart. And the hunter laughed -between his teeth. - -“Have I torn from my heart all that was dearest; have I wandered alone -in the land of night; have I resisted temptation; have I dwelt where the -voice of my kind is never heard, and laboured alone, to lie down and be -food for you, ye harpies?” - -He laughed fiercely; and the Echoes of Despair slunk away, for the laugh -of a brave, strong heart is as a death blow to them. - -Nevertheless they crept out again and looked at him. - -“Do you know that your hair is white?” they said, “that your hands begin -to tremble like a child’s? Do you see that the point of your shuttle is -gone?--it is cracked already. If you should ever climb this stair,” they -said, “it will be your last. You will never climb another.” - -And he answered, “I know it!” and worked on. - -The old, thin hands cut the stones ill and jaggedly, for the fingers -were stiff and bent. The beauty and the strength of the man was gone. - -At last, an old, wizened, shrunken face looked out above the rocks. It -saw the eternal mountains rise with walls to the white clouds; but its -work was done. - -The old hunter folded his tired hands and lay down by the precipice -where he had worked away his life. It was the sleeping time at last. -Below him over the valleys rolled the thick white mist. Once it broke; -and through the gap the dying eyes looked down on the trees and fields -of their childhood. From afar seemed borne to him the cry of his own -wild birds, and he heard the noise of people singing as they danced. And -he thought he heard among them the voices of his old comrades; and -he saw far off the sunlight shine on his early home. And great tears -gathered in the hunter’s eyes. - -“Ah! they who die there do not die alone,” he cried. - -Then the mists rolled together again; and he turned his eyes away. - -“I have sought,” he said, “for long years I have laboured; but I have -not found her. I have not rested, I have not repined, and I have not -seen her; now my strength is gone. Where I lie down worn out other men -will stand, young and fresh. By the steps that I have cut they will -climb; by the stairs that I have built they will mount. They will never -know the name of the man who made them. At the clumsy work they will -laugh; when the stones roll they will curse me. But they will mount, and -on my work; they will climb, and by my stair! They will find her, and -through me! And no man liveth to himself and no man dieth to himself.” - -The tears rolled from beneath the shrivelled eyelids. If Truth had -appeared above him in the clouds now he could not have seen her, the -mist of death was in his eyes. - -“My soul hears their glad step coming,” he said; “and they shall mount! -they shall mount!” He raised his shrivelled hand to his eyes. - -Then slowly from the white sky above, through the still air, came -something falling, falling, falling. Softly it fluttered down, and -dropped on to the breast of the dying man. He felt it with his hands. It -was a feather. He died holding it. - - - - -III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. - -She walked upon the beds, and the sweet rich scent arose; and she -gathered her hands full of flowers. Then Duty, with his white clear -features, came and looked at her. Then she ceased from gathering, but -she walked away among the flowers, smiling, and with her hands full. - -Then Duty, with his still white face, came again, and looked at her; but -she, she turned her head away from him. At last she saw his face, and -she dropped the fairest of the flowers she had held, and walked silently -away. - -Then again he came to her. And she moaned, and bent her head low, and -turned to the gate. But as she went out she looked back at the sunlight -on the faces of the flowers, and wept in anguish. Then she went out, and -it shut behind her for ever; but still in her hand she held of the buds -she had gathered, and the scent was very sweet in the lonely desert. - -But he followed her. Once more he stood before her with his still, -white, death-like face. And she knew what he had come for: she unbent -the fingers, and let the flowers drop out, the flowers she had loved -so, and walked on without them, with dry, aching eyes. Then for the last -time he came. And she showed him her empty hands, the hands that held -nothing now. But still he looked. Then at length she opened her bosom -and took out of it one small flower she had hidden there, and laid it on -the sand. She had nothing more to give now, and she wandered away, and -the grey sand whirled about her. - - - - -IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. - -There is a world in one of the far-off stars, and things do not happen -here as they happen there. - -In that world were a man and woman; they had one work, and they walked -together side by side on many days, and were friends--and that is a -thing that happens now and then in this world also. - -But there was something in that star-world that there is not here. -There was a thick wood: where the trees grew closest, and the stems were -interlocked, and the summer sun never shone, there stood a shrine. In -the day all was quiet, but at night, when the stars shone or the moon -glinted on the tree-tops, and all was quiet below, if one crept here -quite alone and knelt on the steps of the stone altar, and uncovering -one’s breast, so wounded it that the blood fell down on the altar steps, -then whatever he who knelt there wished for was granted him. And all -this happens, as I said, because it is a far-off world, and things often -happen there as they do not happen here. - -Now, the man and woman walked together; and the woman wished well to the -man. One night when the moon was shining so that the leaves of all the -trees glinted, and the waves of the sea were silvery, the woman walked -alone to the forest. It was dark there; the moonlight fell only in -little flecks on the dead leaves under her feet, and the branches were -knotted tight overhead. Farther in it got darker, not even a fleck of -moonlight shone. Then she came to the shrine; she knelt down before it -and prayed; there came no answer. Then she uncovered her breast; with a -sharp two-edged stone that lay there she wounded it. The drops dripped -slowly down on to the stone, and a voice cried, “What do you seek?” - -She answered, “There is a man; I hold him nearer than anything. I would -give him the best of all blessings.” - -The voice said, “What is it?” - -The girl said, “I know not, but that which is most good for him I wish -him to have.” - -The voice said, “Your prayer is answered; he shall have it.” - -Then she stood up. She covered her breast and held the garment tight -upon it with her hand, and ran out of the forest, and the dead leaves -fluttered under her feet. Out in the moonlight the soft air was blowing, -and the sand glittered on the beach. She ran along the smooth shore, -then suddenly she stood still. Out across the water there was something -moving. She shaded her eyes and looked. It was a boat; it was sliding -swiftly over the moonlit water out to sea. One stood upright in it; the -face the moonlight did not show, but the figure she knew. It was passing -swiftly; it seemed as if no one propelled it; the moonlight’s shimmer -did not let her see clearly, and the boat was far from shore, but it -seemed almost as if there was another figure sitting in the stern. -Faster and faster it glided over the water away, away. She ran along the -shore; she came no nearer it. The garment she had held closed fluttered -open; she stretched out her arms, and the moonlight shone on her long -loose hair. - -Then a voice beside her whispered, “What is it?” - -She cried, “With my blood I bought the best of all gifts for him. I have -come to bring it him! He is going from me!” - -The voice whispered softly, “Your prayer was answered. It has been given -him.” - -She cried, “What is it?” - -The voice answered, “It is that he might leave you.” - -The girl stood still. - -Far out at sea the boat was lost to sight beyond the moonlight sheen. - -The voice spoke softly, “Art thou contented?” - -She said, “I am contented.” - -At her feet the waves broke in long ripples softly on the shore. - - - - -V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. - -Under a Mimosa-Tree. - -As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then I -drew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him and -left him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to left -stretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the -heat beat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And -after a while a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down -against my saddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a -curious dream. - -I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew -about everywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of -burden of the desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched -out, and one stood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay -upon the ground, for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was -thick about it, so that it seemed to have piled over it for centuries. - -And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me -watching. And I said to him, “What is this huge creature who lies here -on the sand?” - -And he said, “This is woman; she that bears men in her body.” - -And I said, “Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled round -her?” - -And he answered, “Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has -lain here, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest -man living has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that -she lay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But -listen! Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded -memory of man, on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of -Ancient Customs, now crumbling to decay, are found the marks of her -footsteps! Side by side with his who stands beside her you may trace -them; and you know that she who now lies there once wandered free over -the rocks with him.” - -And I said, “Why does she lie there now?” - -And he said, “I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-force -found her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her -back was broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it -on with the broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the -earth and the sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down -on the sand with the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has -lain here. And the ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band -of Inevitable Necessity has not been cut.” - -And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries; -the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand. - -And I said, “Has she ever tried to move?” - -And he said, “Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knows -she cannot rise with the burden on her.” - -And I said, “Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?” - -And he said, “He cannot. Look--” - -And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, -and it bound them together. - -He said, “While she lies there he must stand and look across the -desert.” - -And I said, “Does he know why he cannot move?” - -And he said, “No.” - -And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the -band that bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden -rolled on to the ground. - -And I said, “What is this?” - -And he said, “The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The -Age-of-nervous-force has killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; -and silently and invisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that -knife of Mechanical Invention he has cut the band that bound the burden -to her back. The Inevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now.” - -And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open -and her neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the -far-off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were -awake or asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came -into her eyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room. - -I said, “What is it?” - -He whispered “Hush! the thought has come to her, ‘Might I not rise?’” - -And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dent -where her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and she -looked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he looked -out across the desert. - -And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth, -and veins stood out; and I cried; “She is going to rise!” - -But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was. - -But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside -me said, “She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her so -long.” - -And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her. - -And I said, “Surely he who stands beside her will help her?” - -And he beside me answered, “He cannot help her: she must help herself. -Let her struggle till she is strong.” - -And I cried, “At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther -from her, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down.” - -And he answered, “He does not understand. When she moves she draws the -band that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. The -day will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing. -Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close to -her, and look into her eyes with sympathy.” - -And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the -creature rose an inch from the earth and sank back. - -And I cried, “Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years have -taken all her strength from her. Can she never move?” - -And he answered me, “See the light in her eyes!” - -And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees. - -And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barren -earth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the red -sand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches -of the tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused -over the dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my -saddle. And in the fierce heat I had another dream. - -I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the -bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of -an African river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deep -shifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn -its gigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white -beard; and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written -Reason. And he asked her what she wanted; and she said “I am woman; and -I am seeking for the land of Freedom.” - -And he said, “It is before you.” - -And she said, “I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and -a bank steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in -them.” - -And he said, “And beyond that?” - -She said, “I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my -hand, I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun -shining on them!” - -He said, “That is the Land of Freedom.” - -She said, “How am I to get there?” - -He said, “There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour, -through the water of Suffering. There is no other.” - -She said, “Is there no bridge?” - -He answered. “None.” - -She said, “Is the water deep?” - -He said, “Deep.” - -She said, “Is the floor worn?” - -He said, “It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost.” - -She said, “Have any crossed already?” - -He said, “Some have tried!” - -She said, “Is there a track to show where the best fording is?” - -He said, “It has to be made.” - -She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, “I will go.” - -And he said, “You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they -are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed.” - -And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions -she wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from -her waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it -in a cloud. And he said, “Take the shoes of dependence off your feet.” - -And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to -her. - -And he said, “That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land of -Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims.” - -And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had -not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said, -“Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand -you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot -find a bottom do not set your foot.” - -And she said, “I am ready; let me go.” - -And he said, “No--but stay; what is that--in your breast?” - -She was silent. - -He said, “Open it, and let me see.” - -And she opened it. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drank -from it, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; -and his knees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast with his -hands. - -And Reason said, “Who is he, and what is he doing here?” - -And she said, “See his little wings--” - -And Reason said, “Put him down.” - -And she said, “He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to the -Land of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried -him. In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together -there, and his great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one -word only to me in the desert--‘Passion!’ I have dreamed he might learn -to say ‘Friendship’ in that land.” - -And Reason said, “Put him down!” - -And she said, “I will carry him so--with one arm, and with the other I -will fight the water.” - -He said, “Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you will -forget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down.” He said, -“He will not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his -wings and fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who -reach the Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the -bank to help them shall be Love’s. He will be a man then, not a child. -In your breast he cannot thrive; put him down that he may grow.” - -And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her, so that the blood -ran down on to the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; and she -covered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the -hair on her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from -youth to age. - -And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, “For what -do I go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! -I am utterly alone!” - -And Reason, that old man, said to her, “Silence! What do you hear?” - -And she listened intently, and she said, “I hear a sound of feet, a -thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat -this way!” - -He said, “They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! -make a track to the water’s edge! Where you stand now, the ground will -be beaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet.” And he said, -“Have you seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down -to the water-edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and -then another, and then another, and at last with their bodies piled up a -bridge is built and the rest pass over.” - -She said, “And, of those that come first, some are swept away, and are -heard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?” - -“And are swept away, and are heard of no more--and what of that?” he -said. - -“And what of that--” she said. - -“They make a track to the water’s edge.” - -“They make a track to the water’s edge--.” And she said, “Over that -bridge which shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?” - -He said, “The entire human race.” - -And the woman grasped her staff. - -And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river. - -And I awoke; and all about me was the yellow afternoon light: the -sinking sun lit up the fingers of the milk bushes; and my horse stood by -me quietly feeding. And I turned on my side, and I watched the ants run -by thousands in the red sand. I thought I would go on my way now--the -afternoon was cooler. Then a drowsiness crept over me again, and I laid -back my head and fell asleep. - -And I dreamed a dream. - -I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave -men, hand in hand. And they looked into each other’s eyes, and they were -not afraid. - -And I saw the women also hold each other’s hands. - -And I said to him beside me, “What place is this?” - -And he said, “This is heaven.” - -And I said, “Where is it?” - -And he answered, “On earth.” - -And I said, “When shall these things be?” - -And he answered, “IN THE FUTURE.” - -And I awoke, and all about me was the sunset light; and on the low hills -the sun lay, and a delicious coolness had crept over everything; and the -ants were going slowly home. And I walked towards my horse, who stood -quietly feeding. Then the sun passed down behind the hills; but I knew -that the next day he would arise again. - - - - -VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. - -A mother sat alone at an open window. Through it came the voices of the -children as they played under the acacia-trees, and the breath of the -hot afternoon air. In and out of the room flew the bees, the wild bees, -with their legs yellow with pollen, going to and from the acacia-trees, -droning all the while. She sat on a low chair before the table and -darned. She took her work from the great basket that stood before her -on the table: some lay on her knee and half covered the book that rested -there. She watched the needle go in and out; and the dreary hum of the -bees and the noise of the children’s voices became a confused murmur -in her ears, as she worked slowly and more slowly. Then the bees, the -long-legged wasp-like fellows who make no honey, flew closer and closer -to her head, droning. Then she grew more and more drowsy, and she laid -her hand, with the stocking over it, on the edge of the table, and -leaned her head upon it. And the voices of the children outside grew -more and more dreamy, came now far, now near; then she did not hear -them, but she felt under her heart where the ninth child lay. Bent -forward and sleeping there, with the bees flying about her head, she had -a weird brain-picture; she thought the bees lengthened and lengthened -themselves out and became human creatures and moved round and round her. -Then one came to her softly, saying, “Let me lay my hand upon thy side -where the child sleeps. If I shall touch him he shall be as I.” - -She asked, “Who are you?” - -And he said, “I am Health. Whom I touch will have always the red blood -dancing in his veins; he will not know weariness nor pain; life will be -a long laugh to him.” - -“No,” said another, “let me touch; for I am Wealth. If I touch him -material care shall not feed on him. He shall live on the blood and -sinews of his fellow-men, if he will; and what his eye lusts for, his -hand will have. He shall not know ‘I want.’” And the child lay still -like lead. - -And another said, “Let me touch him: I am Fame. The man I touch, I -lead to a high hill where all men may see him. When he dies he is not -forgotten, his name rings down the centuries, each echoes it on to his -fellows. Think--not to be forgotten through the ages!” - -And the mother lay breathing steadily, but in the brain-picture they -pressed closer to her. - -“Let me touch the child,” said one, “for I am Love. If I touch him he -shall not walk through life alone. In the greatest dark, when he puts -out his hand he shall find another hand by it. When the world is against -him, another shall say, ‘You and I.’” And the child trembled. - -But another pressed close and said, “Let me touch; for I am Talent. I -can do all things--that have been done before. I touch the soldier, the -statesman, the thinker, and the politician who succeed; and the writer -who is never before his time, and never behind it. If I touch the child -he shall not weep for failure.” - -About the mother’s head the bees were flying, touching her with their -long tapering limbs; and, in her brain-picture, out of the shadow of -the room came one with sallow face, deep-lined, the cheeks drawn into -hollows, and a mouth smiling quiveringly. He stretched out his hand. And -the mother drew back, and cried, “Who are you?” He answered nothing; and -she looked up between his eyelids. And she said, “What can you give the -child--health?” And he said, “The man I touch, there wakes up in his -blood a burning fever, that shall lick his blood as fire. The fever that -I will give him shall be cured when his life is cured.” - -“You give wealth?” - -He shook his head. “The man whom I touch, when he bends to pick up gold, -he sees suddenly a light over his head in the sky; while he looks up to -see it, the gold slips from between his fingers, or sometimes another -passing takes it from them.” - -“Fame?” - -He answered, “likely not. For the man I touch there is a path traced -out in the sand by a finger which no man sees. That he must follow. -Sometimes it leads almost to the top, and then turns down suddenly into -the valley. He must follow it, though none else sees the tracing.” - -“Love?” - -He said, “He shall hunger for it--but he shall not find it. When he -stretches out his arms to it, and would lay his heart against a thing -he loves, then, far off along the horizon he shall see a light play. -He must go towards it. The thing he loves will not journey with him; -he must travel alone. When he presses somewhat to his burning heart, -crying, ‘Mine, mine, my own!’ he shall hear a voice--‘Renounce! -renounce! this is not thine!’” - -“He shall succeed?” - -He said, “He shall fail. When he runs with others they shall reach the -goal before him. For strange voices shall call to him and strange lights -shall beckon him, and he must wait and listen. And this shall be the -strangest: far off across the burning sands where, to other men, there -is only the desert’s waste, he shall see a blue sea! On that sea the sun -shines always, and the water is blue as burning amethyst, and the foam -is white on the shore. A great land rises from it, and he shall see upon -the mountain-tops burning gold.” - -The mother said, “He shall reach it?” - -And he smiled curiously. - -She said, “It is real?” - -And he said, “What IS real?” - -And she looked up between his half-closed eyelids, and said, “Touch.” - -And he leaned forward and laid his hand upon the sleeper, and whispered -to it, smiling; and this only she heard--“This shall be thy reward--that -the ideal shall be real to thee.” - -And the child trembled; but the mother slept on heavily and her -brain-picture vanished. But deep within her the antenatal thing that -lay here had a dream. In those eyes that had never seen the day, in that -half-shaped brain was a sensation of light! Light--that it never had -seen. Light--that perhaps it never should see. Light--that existed -somewhere! - -And already it had its reward: the Ideal was real to it. - -London. - - - - -VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. - -“I cannot forgive--I love.” - -There are four bare walls; there is a Christ upon the walls, in red, -carrying his cross; there is a Blessed Bambino with the face rubbed out; -there is Madonna in blue and red; there are Roman soldiers and a Christ -with tied hands. All the roof is gone; overhead is the blue, blue -Italian sky; the rain has beaten holes in the walls, and the plaster is -peeling from it. The chapel stands here alone upon the promontory, and -by day and by night the sea breaks at its feet. Some say that it was -set here by the monks from the island down below, that they might bring -their sick here in times of deadly plague. Some say that it was set here -that the passing monks and friars, as they hurried by upon the roadway, -might stop and say their prayers here. Now no one stops to pray here, -and the sick come no more to be healed. - -Behind it runs the old Roman road. If you climb it and come and sit -there alone on a hot sunny day you may almost hear at last the clink of -the Roman soldiers upon the pavement, and the sound of that older time, -as you sit there in the sun, when Hannibal and his men broke through the -brushwood, and no road was. - -Now it is very quiet. Sometimes a peasant girl comes riding by between -her panniers, and you hear the mule’s feet beat upon the bricks of the -pavement; sometimes an old woman goes past with a bundle of weeds upon -her head, or a brigand-looking man hurries by with a bundle of sticks -in his hand; but for the rest the Chapel lies here alone upon the -promontory, between the two bays and hears the sea break at its feet. - -I came here one winter’s day when the midday sun shone hot on the bricks -of the Roman road. I was weary, and the way seemed steep. I walked into -the chapel to the broken window, and looked out across the bay. Far off, -across the blue, blue water, were towns and villages, hanging white and -red dots, upon the mountain-sides, and the blue mountains rose up into -the sky, and now stood out from it and now melted back again. - -The mountains seemed calling to me, but I knew there would never be a -bridge built from them to me; never, never, never! I shaded my eyes with -my hand and turned away. I could not bear to look at them. - -I walked through the ruined Chapel, and looked at the Christ in red -carrying his cross, and the Blessed rubbed-out Bambino, and the Roman -soldiers, and the folded hands, and the reed; and I went and sat down -in the open porch upon a stone. At my feet was the small bay, with its -white row of houses buried among the olive trees; the water broke in a -long, thin, white line of foam along the shore; and I leaned my elbows -on my knees. I was tired, very tired; tired with a tiredness that seemed -older than the heat of the day and the shining of the sun on the bricks -of the Roman road; and I lay my head upon my knees; I heard the breaking -of the water on the rocks three hundred feet below, and the rustling of -the wind among the olive trees and the ruined arches, and then I fell -asleep there. I had a dream. - -A man cried up to God, and God sent down an angel to help him; and the -angel came back and said, “I cannot help that man.” - -God said, “How is it with him?” - -And the angel said, “He cries out continually that one has injured him; -and he would forgive him and he cannot.” - -God said, “What have you done for him?” - -The angel said, “All--. I took him by the hand, and I said, ‘See, when -other men speak ill of that man do you speak well of him; secretly, in -ways he shall not know, serve him; if you have anything you value share -it with him, so, serving him, you will at last come to feel possession -in him, and you will forgive.’ And he said, ‘I will do it.’ Afterwards, -as I passed by in the dark of night, I heard one crying out, ‘I have -done all. It helps nothing! My speaking well of him helps me nothing! -If I share my heart’s blood with him, is the burning within me less? I -cannot forgive; I cannot forgive! Oh, God, I cannot forgive!’ - -“I said to him, ‘See here, look back on all your past. See from your -childhood all smallness, all indirectness that has been yours; look well -at it, and in its light do you not see every man your brother? Are you -so sinless you have right to hate?’ - -“He looked, and said, ‘Yes, you are right; I too have failed, and I -forgive my fellow. Go, I am satisfied; I have forgiven;’ and he laid him -down peacefully and folded his hands on his breast, and I thought it was -well with him. But scarcely had my wings rustled and I turned to come up -here, when I heard one crying out on earth again, ‘I cannot forgive! I -cannot forgive! Oh, God, God, I cannot forgive! It is better to die -than to hate! I cannot forgive! I cannot forgive!’ And I went and stood -outside his door in the dark, and I heard him cry, ‘I have not sinned -so, not so! If I have torn my fellows’ flesh ever so little, I have -kneeled down and kissed the wound with my mouth till it was healed. I -have not willed that any soul shall be lost through hate of me. If they -have but fancied that I wronged them I have lain down on the ground -before them that they might tread on me, and so, seeing my humiliation, -forgive and not be lost through hating me; they have not cared that -my soul should be lost; they have not willed to save me; they have not -tried that I should forgive them!’ - -“I said to him, ‘See here, be thou content; do not forgive: forget this -soul and its injury; go on your way. In the next world perhaps--’ - -“He cried, ‘Go from me, you understand nothing! What is the next world -to me! I am lost now, today. I cannot see the sunlight shine, the dust -is in my throat, the sand is in my eyes! Go from me, you know nothing! -Oh, once again before I die to see that the world is beautiful! Oh, God, -God, I cannot live and not love. I cannot live and hate. Oh, God, God, -God!’ So I left him crying out and came back here.” - -God said, “This man’s soul must be saved.” - -And the angel said “How?” - -God said, “Go down you, and save it.” - -The angel said, “What more shall I do?” - -Then God bent down and whispered in the angel’s ear, and the angel -spread out its wings and went down to earth. - -And partly I woke, sitting there upon the broken stone with my head on -my knee; but I was too weary to rise. I heard the wind roam through the -olive trees and among the ruined arches, and then I slept again. - -The angel went down and found the man with the bitter heart and took him -by the hand, and led him to a certain spot. - -Now the man wist not where it was the angel would take him nor what he -would show him there. And when they came the angel shaded the man’s eyes -with his wing, and when he moved it the man saw somewhat on the earth -before them. For God had given it to that angel to unclothe a human -soul; to take from it all those outward attributes of form, and colour, -and age, and sex, whereby one man is known from among his fellows and is -marked off from the rest, and the soul lay before them, bare, as a man -turning his eye inwards beholds himself. - -They saw its past, its childhood, the tiny life with the dew upon it; -they saw its youth when the dew was melting, and the creature raised its -Lilliputian mouth to drink from a cup too large for it, and they saw how -the water spilt; they saw its hopes that were never realized; they saw -its hours of intellectual blindness, men call sin; they saw its hours of -all-radiating insight, which men call righteousness; they saw its hour -of strength, when it leaped to its feet crying, “I am omnipotent;” its -hour of weakness, when it fell to the earth and grasped dust only; they -saw what it might have been, but never would be. - -The man bent forward. - -And the angel said, “What is it?” - -He answered, “It is I! it is myself!” And he went forward as if he would -have lain his heart against it; but the angel held him back and covered -his eyes. - -Now God had given power to the angel further to unclothe that soul, -to take from it all those outward attributes of time and place and -circumstance whereby the individual life is marked off from the life of -the whole. - -Again the angel uncovered the man’s eyes, and he looked. He saw before -him that which in its tiny drop reflects the whole universe; he saw that -which marks within itself the step of the furthest star, and tells how -the crystal grows under ground where no eye has seen it; that which is -where the germ in the egg stirs; which moves the outstretched fingers -of the little newborn babe, and keeps the leaves of the trees pointing -upward; which moves where the jelly-fish sail alone on the sunny seas, -and is where the lichens form on the mountains’ rocks. - -And the man looked. - -And the angel touched him. - -But the man bowed his head and shuddered. He whispered--“It is God!” - -And the angel re-covered the man’s eyes. And when he uncovered them -there was one walking from them a little way off;--for the angel had -re-clothed the soul in its outward form and vesture--and the man knew -who it was. - -And the angel said, “Do you know him?” - -And the man said, “I know him,” and he looked after the figure. - -And the angel said, “Have you forgiven him?” - -But the man said, “How beautiful my brother is!” - -And the angel looked into the man’s eyes, and he shaded his own face -with his wing from the light. He laughed softly and went up to God. - -But the men were together on earth. - -I awoke. - -The blue, blue sky was over my head, and the waves were breaking below -on the shore. I walked through the little chapel, and I saw the Madonna -in blue and red, and the Christ carrying his cross, and the Roman -soldiers with the rod, and the Blessed Bambino with its broken face; -and then I walked down the sloping rock to the brick pathway. The olive -trees stood up on either side of the road, their black berries and -pale-green leaves stood out against the sky; and the little ice-plants -hung from the crevices in the stone wall. It seemed to me as if it must -have rained while I was asleep. I thought I had never seen the heavens -and the earth look so beautiful before. I walked down the road. The old, -old, old tiredness was gone. - -Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she -had two large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the -road before me. - -I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and -to have held his hand--only, he would not have known why. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - - -VIII. LIFE’S GIFTS. - -I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, -and held in each hand a gift--in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And -she said to the woman, “Choose!” - -And the woman waited long: and she said, “Freedom!” - -And Life said, “Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, ‘Love,’ I -would have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone -from thee, and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I -shall return. In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand.” - -I heard the woman laugh in her sleep. - -London. - - - - -IX. THE ARTIST’S SECRET. - -There was an artist once, and he painted a picture. Other artists had -colours richer and rarer, and painted more notable pictures. He painted -his with one colour, there was a wonderful red glow on it; and the -people went up and down, saying, “We like the picture, we like the -glow.” - -The other artists came and said, “Where does he get his colour from?” - They asked him; and he smiled and said, “I cannot tell you”; and worked -on with his head bent low. - -And one went to the far East and bought costly pigments, and made a rare -colour and painted, but after a time the picture faded. Another read in -the old books, and made a colour rich and rare, but when he had put it -on the picture it was dead. - -But the artist painted on. Always the work got redder and redder, and -the artist grew whiter and whiter. At last one day they found him dead -before his picture, and they took him up to bury him. The other men -looked about in all the pots and crucibles, but they found nothing they -had not. - -And when they undressed him to put his grave-clothes on him, they found -above his left breast the mark of a wound--it was an old, old wound, -that must have been there all his life, for the edges were old and -hardened; but Death, who seals all things, had drawn the edges together, -and closed it up. - -And they buried him. And still the people went about saying, “Where did -he find his colour from?” - -And it came to pass that after a while the artist was forgotten--but the -work lived. - -St. Leonards-on-Sea. - - - - -X. “I THOUGHT I STOOD.” - -I thought I stood in Heaven before God’s throne, and God asked me what I -had come for. I said I had come to arraign my brother, Man. - -God said, “What has he done?” - -I said, “He has taken my sister, Woman, and has stricken her, and -wounded her, and thrust her out into the streets; she lies there -prostrate. His hands are red with blood. I am here to arraign him; that -the kingdom be taken from him, because he is not worthy, and given unto -me. My hands are pure.” - -I showed them. - -God said, “Thy hands are pure.--Lift up thy robe.” - -I raised it; my feet were red, blood-red, as if I had trodden in wine. - -God said, “How is this?” - -I said, “Dear Lord, the streets on earth are full of mire. If I should -walk straight on in them my outer robe might be bespotted, you see how -white it is! Therefore I pick my way.” - -God said, “On what?” - -I was silent, and I let my robe fall. I wrapped my mantle about my head. -I went out softly. I was afraid that the angels would see me. - - -II. - -Once more I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and another. We held fast by -one another; we were very tired. We looked up at the great gates; the -angels opened them, and we went in. The mud was on our garments. We -walked across the marble floor, and up to the great throne. Then the -angels divided us. Her, they set upon the top step, but me, upon the -bottom; for, they said, “Last time this woman came here she left red -foot-marks on the floor; we had to wash them out with our tears. Let her -not go up.” - -Then she, with whom I came, looked back, and stretched out her hand to -me; and I went and stood beside her. And the angels, they, the shining -ones who never sinned and never suffered, walked by us to and fro and -up and down; I think we should have felt a little lonely there if it had -not been for one another, the angels were so bright. - -God asked me what I had come for; and I drew my sister forward a little -that he might see her. - -God said, “How is it you are here together today?” - -I said, “She was upon the ground in the street, and they passed over -her; I lay down by her, and she put her arms around my neck, and so I -lifted her, and we two rose together.” - -God said, “Whom are you now come to accuse before me?” - -I said, “We are come to accuse no man.” - -And God bent, and said, “My children--what is it that ye seek?” - -And she beside me drew my hand that I should speak for both. - -I said, “We have come to ask that thou shouldst speak to Man, our -brother, and give us a message for him that he might understand, and -that he might--” - -God said, “Go, take the message down to him!” - -I said, “But what is the message?” - -God said, “Upon your hearts it is written; take it down to him.” - -And we turned to go; the angels went with us to the door. They looked at -us. - -And one said--“Ai! but their dresses are beautiful!” - -And the other said, “I thought it was mire when they came in, but see, -it is all golden!” - -But another said, “Hush, it is the light from their faces!” - -And we went down to him. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - - -XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. - -In the dark one night I lay upon my bed. I heard the policeman’s feet -beat on the pavement; I heard the wheels of carriages roll home from -houses of entertainment; I heard a woman’s laugh below my window--and -then I fell asleep. And in the dark I dreamt a dream. I dreamt God took -my soul to Hell. - -Hell was a fair place; the water of the lake was blue. - -I said to God, “I like this place.” - -God said, “Ay, dost thou!” - -Birds sang, turf came to the water-edge, and trees grew from it. Away -off among the trees I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of -many delicate colours and clung to them, and they were tall and graceful -and had yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided -in and out among the trees, and over their heads hung yellow fruit like -large pears of melted gold. - -I said, “It is very fair; I would go up and taste the--” - -God said, “Wait.” - -And after a while I noticed a very fair woman pass: she looked this way -and that, and drew down a branch, and it seemed she kissed the fruit -upon it softly, and went on her way, and her dress made no rustle as she -passed over the grass. And when I saw her no more, from among the stems -came another woman fair as she had been, in a delicate tinted robe; she -looked this way and that. When she saw no one there she drew down the -fruit, and when she had looked over it to find a place, she put her -mouth to it softly, and went away. And I saw other and other women come, -making no noise, and they glided away also over the grass. - -And I said to God, “What are they doing?” - -God said, “They are poisoning.” - -And I said, “How?” - -God said, “They touch it with their lips, when they have made a tiny -wound in it with their fore-teeth they set in it that which is under -their tongues: they close it with their lip--that no man may see the -place, and pass on.” - -I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - -God said, “That another may not eat.” - -I said to God, “But if they poison all then none dare eat; what do they -gain?” - -God said, “Nothing.” - -I said, “Are they not afraid they themselves may bite where another has -bitten?” - -God said, “They are afraid. In Hell all men fear.” - -He called me further. And the water of the lake seemed less blue. - -Then, to the right among the trees were men working. And I said to God, -“I should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very fruitful -place, the grass is so green.” - -God said, “Nothing grows in the garden they are making.” - -We stood looking; and I saw them working among the bushes, digging -holes, but in them they set nothing; and when they had covered them with -sticks and earth each went a way off and sat behind the bushes watching; -and I noticed that as each walked he set his foot down carefully looking -where he trod. I said to God, “What are they doing?” - -God said, “Making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink.” - -I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - -God said, “Because each thinks that when his brother falls he will -rise.” - -I said to God, “How will he rise?” - -God said, “He will not rise.” - -And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes. - -I said to God, “Are these men sane?” - -God said, “They are not sane; there is no sane man in Hell.” - -And he told me to come further. - -And I looked where I trod. - -And we came where Hell opened into a plain, and a great house stood -there. Marble pillars upheld the roof, and white marble steps let up to -it. The wind of heaven blew through it. Only at the back hung a thick -curtain. Fair men and women there feasted at long tables. They danced, -and I saw the robes of women flutter in the air and heard the laugh of -strong men. What they feasted with was wine; they drew it from large -jars which stood somewhat in the background, and I saw the wine sparkle -as they drew it. - -And I said to God, “I should like to go up and drink.” And God said, -“Wait.” And I saw men coming in to the Banquet House; they came in from -the back and lifted the corner of the curtain at the sides and crept in -quickly; and they let the curtain fall behind them; they bore great jars -they could hardly carry. And the men and women crowded round them, and -the new-comers opened their jars and gave them of the wine to drink; -and I saw that the women drank even more greedily than the men. And when -others had well drunken they set the jars among the old ones beside the -wall, and took their places at the table. And I saw that some of the -jars were very old and mildewed and dusty, but others had still drops of -new must on them and shone from the furnace. - -And I said to God, “What is that?” For amid the sound of the singing, -and over the dancing of feet, and over the laughing across the wine-cups -I heard a cry. - -And God said, “Stand a way off.” - -And he took me where I saw both sides of the curtain. Behind the house -was the wine-press where the wine was made. I saw the grapes crushed, -and I heard them cry. I said, “Do not they on the other side hear it?” - -God said, “The curtain is thick; they are feasting.” - -And I said, “But the men who came in last. They saw?” - -God said, “They let the curtain fall behind them--and they forget!” - -I said, “How came they by their jars of wine?” - -God said, “In the treading of the press these are they who came to the -top; they have climbed out over the edge, and filled their jars from -below, and have gone into the house.” - -And I said, “And if they had fallen as they climbed--?” - -God said, “They had been wine.” - -I stood a way off watching in the sunshine, and I shivered. - -God lay in the sunshine watching too. - -Then there rose one among the feasters, who said, “My brethren, let us -pray!” - -And all the men and women rose: and strong men bowed their heads, and -mothers folded their little children’s hands together, and turned their -faces upwards, to the roof. And he who first had risen stood at the -table head, and stretched out both his hands, and his beard was long -and white, and his sleeves and his beard had been dipped in wine; and -because the sleeves were wide and full they held much wine, and it -dropped down upon the floor. - -And he cried, “My brothers and my sisters, let us pray.” - -And all the men and women answered, “Let us pray.” - -He cried, “For this fair banquet-house we thank thee, Lord.” - -And all the men and women said “We thank thee, Lord.” - -“Thine is this house, dear Lord.” - -“Thine is this house.” - -“For us hast thou made it.” - -“For us.” - -“Oh, fill our jars with wine, dear Lord.” - -“Our jars with wine.” - -“Give peace and plenty in our time, dear Lord.” - -“Peace and plenty in our time”--I said to God, “Whom is it they are -talking to?” God said, “Do I know whom they speak of?” And I saw they -were looking up at the roof; but out in the sunshine, God lay. - -“--dear Lord!” - -“Dear Lord.” - -“Our children’s children, Lord, shall rise and call thee blessed.” - -“Our children’s children, Lord.”--I said to God, “The grapes are -crying!” God said, “Still! I hear them”--“shall call thee blessed.” - -“Shall call thee blessed.” - -“Pour forth more wine upon us, Lord.” - -“More wine.” - -“More wine.” - -“More wine!” - -“Wine!!” - -“Wine!!” - -“Wine!!!” - -“Dear Lord!” - -Then men and women sat down and the feast went on. And mothers poured -out wine and fed their little children with it, and men held up the -cup to women’s lips and cried, “Beloved! drink,” and women filled their -lovers’ flagons and held them up; and yet the feast went on. - -And after a while I looked, and I saw the curtain that hung behind the -house moving. - -I said to God, “Is it a wind?” - -God said, “A wind.” - -And it seemed to me, that against the curtain I saw pressed the forms -of men and women. And after a while the feasters saw it move, and they -whispered, one to another. Then some rose and gathered the most worn-out -cups, and into them they put what was left at the bottom of other -vessels. Mothers whispered to their children, “Do not drink all, save -a little drop when you have drunk.” And when they had collected all the -dregs they slipped the cups out under the bottom of the curtain without -lifting it. After a while the curtain left off moving. - -I said to God, “How is it so quiet?” - -He said, “They have gone away to drink it.” - -I said, “They drink it--their own!” - -God said, “It comes from this side of the curtain, and they are very -thirsty.” - -Then the feast went on, and after a while I saw a small, white hand -slipped in below the curtain’s edge along the floor; and it motioned -towards the wine jars. - -And I said to God, “Why is that hand so bloodless?” - -And God said, “It is a wine-pressed hand.” - -And men saw it and started to their feet; and women cried, and ran to -the great wine jars, and threw their arms around them, and cried, “Ours, -our own, our beloved!” and twined their long hair about them. - -I said to God, “Why are they frightened of that one small hand?” - -God answered, “Because it is so white.” - -And men ran in a great company towards the curtain, and struggled there. -I heard them strike upon the floor. And when they moved away the curtain -hung smooth and still; and there was a small stain upon the floor. - -I said to God, “Why do they not wash it out?” - -God said, “They cannot.” - -And they took small stones and put them down along the edge of the -curtain to keep it down. Then the men and women sat down again at the -tables. - -And I said to God, “Will those stones keep it down?” - -God said, “What think you?” - -I said, “If the wind blew?” - -God said, “If the wind blew?” - -And the feast went on. - -And suddenly I cried to God, “If one should rise among them, even of -themselves, and start up from the table and should cast away his -cup, and cry, ‘My brothers and my sisters, stay! what is it that we -drink?’--and with his sword should cut in two the curtain, and holding -wide the fragments, cry, ‘Brothers, sisters, see! it is not wine, not -wine! not wine! My brothers, oh, my sisters!’ and he should overturn -the--” - -God said, “Be still!--, see there.” - -I looked: before the banquet-house, among the grass, I saw a row of -mounds, flowers covered them, and gilded marble stood at their heads. I -asked God what they were. - -He answered, “They are the graves of those who rose up at the feast and -cried.” - -And I asked God how they came there. - -He said, “The men of the banquet-house rose and cast them down -backwards.” - -I said, “Who buried them?” - -God said, “The men who cast them down.” - -I said, “How came it that they threw them down, and then set marble over -them?” - -God said, “Because the bones cried out, they covered them.” - -And among the grass and weeds I saw an unburied body lying; and I asked -God why it was. - -God said, “Because it was thrown down only yesterday. In a little while, -when the flesh shall have fallen from its bones, they will bury it also, -and plant flowers over it.” - -And still the feast went on. - -Men and women sat at the tables quaffing great bowls. Some rose, and -threw their arms about each other, and danced and sang. They pledged -each other in the wine, and kissed each other’s blood-red lips. - -Higher and higher grew the revels. - -Men, when they had drunk till they could no longer, threw what was left -in their glasses up to the roof, and let it fall back in cascades. Women -dyed their children’s garments in the wine, and fed them on it till -their tiny mouths were red. Sometimes, as the dancers whirled, they -overturned a vessel, and their garments were bespattered. Children sat -upon the floor with great bowls of wine, and swam rose-leaves on it, for -boats. They put their hands in the wine and blew large red bubbles. - -And higher and higher grew the revels, and wilder the dancing, and -louder and louder the singing. But here and there among the revellers -were those who did not revel. I saw that at the tables here and there -were men who sat with their elbows on the board and hands shading their -eyes; they looked into the wine-cup beneath them, and did not drink. And -when one touched them lightly on the shoulder, bidding them to rise -and dance and sing, they started, and then looked down, and sat there -watching the wine in the cup, but they did not move. - -And here and there I saw a woman sit apart. The others danced and sang -and fed their children, but she sat silent with her head aside as though -she listened. Her little children plucked her gown; she did not see -them; she was listening to some sound, but she did not stir. - -The revels grew higher. Men drank till they could drink no longer, and -lay their heads upon the table sleeping heavily. Women who could dance -no more leaned back on the benches with their heads against their -lovers’ shoulders. Little children, sick with wine, lay down upon the -edges of their mothers’ robes. Sometimes, a man rose suddenly, and as he -staggered struck the tables and overthrew the benches; some leaned upon -the balustrades sick unto death. Here and there one rose who staggered -to the wine jars and lay down beside them. He turned the wine tap, but -sleep overcame him as he lay there, and the wine ran out. - -Slowly the thin, red stream ran across the white marbled floor; it -reached the stone steps; slowly, slowly, slowly it trickled down, from -step to step, from step to step: then it sank into the earth. A thin -white smoke rose up from it. - -I was silent; I could not breathe; but God called me to come further. - -And after I had travelled for a while I came where on seven hills lay -the ruins of a mighty banquet-house larger and stronger than the one -which I had seen standing. - -I said to God, “What did the men who built it here?” - -God said, “They feasted.” - -I said, “On what?” - -God said, “On wine.” - -And I looked; and it seemed to me that behind the ruins lay still a -large circular hollow within the earth where a foot of the wine-press -had stood. - -I said to God, “How came it that this large house fell?” - -God said, “Because the earth was sodden.” - -He called me to come further. - -And at last we came upon a hill where blue waters played, and white -marble lay upon the earth. I said to God, “What was here once?” - -God said, “A pleasure house.” - -I looked, and at my feet great pillars lay. I cried aloud for joy to -God, “The marble blossoms!” - -God said, “Ay, ‘twas a fairy house. There has not been one like to it, -nor ever shall be. The pillars and the porticoes blossomed; and the -wine cups were as gathered flowers: on this side all the curtain was -broidered with fair designs, the stitching was of gold.” - -I said to God, “How came it that it fell?” - -God said, “On the side of the wine-press it was dark.” - -And as we travelled, we came where lay a mighty ridge of sand, and a -dark river ran there; and there rose two vast mounds. - -I said to God, “They are very mighty.” - -God said, “Ay, exceeding great.” - -And I listened. - -God asked me what I was listening to. - -And I said, “A sound of weeping, and I hear the sound of strokes, but I -cannot tell whence it comes.” - -God said, “It is the echo of the wine-press lingering still among the -coping-stones upon the mounds. A banquet-house stood here.” - -And he called me to come further. - -Upon a barren hill-side, where the soil was arid, God called me to stand -still. And I looked around. - -God said, “There was a feasting-house here once upon a time.” - -I said to God, “I see no mark of any!” - -God said, “There was not left one stone upon another that has not been -thrown down.” And I looked round; and on the hill-side was a lonely -grave. - -I said to God, “What lies there?” - -He said, “A vine truss, bruised in the wine-press!” - -And at the head of the grave stood a cross, and on its foot lay a crown -of thorns. - -And as I turned to go, I looked backward. The wine-press and the -banquet-house were gone; but the grave yet stood. - -And when I came to the edge of a long ridge there opened out before me -a wide plain of sand. And when I looked downward I saw great stones lie -shattered; and the desert sand had half covered them over. - -I said to God, “There is writing on them, but I cannot read it.” - -And God blew aside the desert sand, and I read the writing: “Weighed in -the balance, and found--” but the last word was wanting. - -And I said to God, “It was a banquet-house?” - -God said, “Ay, a banquet-house.” - -I said, “There was a wine-press here?” - -God said, “There was a wine-press.” - -I asked no further question. I was very weary; I shaded my eyes with my -hand, and looked through the pink evening light. - -Far off, across the sand, I saw two figures standing. With wings -upfolded high above their heads, and stern faces set, neither man nor -beast, they looked out across the desert sand, watching, watching, -watching! I did not ask God what they were, for I knew what the answer -would be. - -And, further and yet further, in the evening light, I looked with my -shaded eyes. - -Far off, where the sands were thick and heavy, I saw a solitary pillar -standing: the crown had fallen, and the sand had buried it. On the -broken pillar sat a grey owl-of-the-desert, with folded wings; and in -the evening light I saw the desert fox creep past it, trailing his brush -across the sand. - -Further, yet further, as I looked across the desert, I saw the sand -gathered into heaps as though it covered something. - -I cried to God, “Oh, I am so weary.” - -God said, “You have seen only one half of Hell.” - -I said, “I cannot see more, I am afraid of Hell. In my own narrow little -path I dare not walk because I think that one has dug a pitfall for -me; and if I put my hand to take a fruit I draw it back again because I -think it has been kissed already. If I look out across the plains, the -mounds are burial heaps; and when I pass among the stones I hear them -crying aloud. When I see men dancing I hear the time beaten in with -sobs; and their wine is living! Oh, I cannot bear Hell!” - -God said, “Where will you go?” - -I said “To the earth from which I came; it was better there.” - -And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed. - -God said, “Come, and I will show you Heaven.” - -... - -And partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages -had died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the -policeman’s tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great -hand lay upon my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed -from side to side; and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed. - -God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The -gulf, it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two bridges -crossing it that both sloped upwards. - -I said to God, “Is there no other way by which men cross it?” - -God said, “One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards.” - -I asked God what the bridges’ names were. - -God said, “What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the -Beautiful, if you will--you will yet not understand them.” - -I asked God how it was I could not see the third. - -God said, “It is seen only by those who climb it.” - -I said, “Do they all lead to one heaven?” - -God said, “All Heaven is one: nevertheless some parts are higher than -others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the -lower; but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the -higher; nevertheless the light is all one.” - -And I saw over the bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other, -countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it. - -God said, “It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven.” - -And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God -how it was. - -He said, “No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, -when they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there -is no land beyond.” - -I said, “Has none ever returned?” - -God said, “No; once in Heaven always in Heaven.” - -And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors--for -Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open--the posts rose up -so high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there were -any. - -And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it. - -I said to God, “Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?” - -God said, “Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be -engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell.” - -And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every -hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks -and stones. I asked God how it was. - -But God did not answer me. - -I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be otherwise. And -after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, -and I asked God if the sun were not going to rise. - -God said, “No; we are coming to where the people are.” - -And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning -day; and on the rock were flowers blooming, and trees blossomed at the -roadside; and streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds -singing; I asked God where they were. - -God said, “It is the people calling to one another.” - -And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they -walked. I asked God how it was they wore no covering. - -God said, “Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover -any part.” - -And I asked God what they were doing. - -God said, “Shining on the plants that they may grow.” - -And I saw that some were working in companies, and some alone, but most -were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally -there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was. - -God said, “When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most -perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless, -there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many -kinds of light.” - -And one from among the people came running towards me; and when he came -near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were -little children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told -God what I felt; God said, “All men feel so in Heaven when another comes -towards them.” - -And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright -lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his -companion answered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She -said, “He must have water”; and she took some in her hands, and fed me -(I had been afraid to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered -fruit for me, and gave it me to eat. They said, “We shone long to make -it ripen,” and they laughed together as they saw me eat it. - -The man said, “He is very weary; he must sleep” (for I had not dared to -sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his companion’s knee and spread -her hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought -I heard the birds calling across me. And when I woke it was like early -morning, with the dew on everything. - -And the man took my hand and led me to a hidden spot among the rocks. -The ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and -there was a little stream running. He said, “This is a garden we are -making, no one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the -ground has cracked with our shining, and this little stream is bursting -out. See, the flowers are growing.” - -And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers -with dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my -hands shone as I held them. He said, “This garden is for all when it is -finished.” And he went away to his companion, and I went out into the -great pathway. - -And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And -when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows -were standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter -than anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said, -“Hush! Our singing bird.” - -And I asked why the eyes shone so. - -And he said, “They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone -so.” - -And the people gathered closer round him. - -And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees -of light with great laughter. When they came close I saw they carried -one without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so -bright that I could not look at them. - -And I said to one, “What is it?” - -He answered, “This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and -feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the -maimed stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in -Heaven. We pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat. -No one is allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all;” and they went on -among the trees. - -I said to God, “This is a strange land. I had thought blindness and -maimedness were great evils. Here men make them to a rejoicing.” - -God said, “Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!” - -And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand. I said to -God, “Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have -dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again. I will stay here -and shine.” And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as -others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light. -I said to God, “How is it?” - -God said, “Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against -none?” - -And I said, “Yes--“; and I thought--“Now is the time when I will tell -God, that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly my -fellow-men have treated me. How they have misunderstood me. How I have -intended to be magnanimous and generous to them, and they--.” And I -began to tell God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering -under my breath, and I was silent. - -And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my mantle about me -and followed him. - -And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at -last to a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the -clouds. And on its side I saw men working; and they picked at the -earth with huge picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily. And some -laboured in companies, but most laboured singly. And I saw the drops of -sweat fall from their foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out -with labour. And I said, “I had not thought in heaven to see men -labour so!” And I thought of the garden where men sang and loved, and -I wondered that any should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side. -And I saw upon the foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the -drops which fell from them as they worked had light. - -And I asked God what they were seeking for. - -And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small -stones, which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that -the light of the stones and the light on the men’s foreheads was the -same. And I saw that when one found a stone he passed it on to his -fellow, and he to another, and he to another. No man kept the stone he -found. And at times they gathered in great company about when a large -stone was found, and raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then -they worked on again. - -And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last. Then -God touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my -very feet was a mighty crown. The light streamed out from it. - -God said, “Each stone as they find it is set here.” - -And the crown was wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern -ran through all, yet each part was different. - -I said to God, “How does each man know where to set his stone, so that -the pattern is worked out?” - -God said, “Because in the light his forehead sheds each man sees faintly -outlined that full crown.” - -And I said, “But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to -its fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?” - -God said, “The stones are alive; they grow.” - -And I said, “But what does each man gain by his working?” - -God said, “He sees his outline filled.” - -I said, “But those stones which are last set cover those which were -first; and those will again be covered by those which come later.” - -God said, “They are covered, but not hid. The light is the light of all. -Without the first, no last.” - -And I said to God, “When will this crown be ended?” - -And God said, “Look up!” - -I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its summit I -could not see; it was lost in the clouds. - -God said no more. - -And I looked at the crown: then a longing seized me. Like the passion -of a mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of -a friend for the friend whom life has buried; like the hunger of dying -eyes for a life that is slipping; like the thirst of a soul for love at -its first spring waking, so, but fiercer was the longing in me. - -I cried to God, “I too will work here; I too will set stones in the -wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand. And if it be that, -labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will -be with the men that labour here. I shall hear their shout of joy when -each stone is found; I shall join in their triumph, I shall shout among -them; I shall see the crown grow.” So great was my longing as I looked -at the crown, I thought a faint light fell from my forehead also. - -God said, “Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?” - -I said, “No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown.” And I was dumb with -longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing -there. And I ran forward, and threw my mantle on the earth and bent to -seize one of the mighty tools which lay there. I could not lift it from -the earth. - -God said, “Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy -mantle.” - -And I took up my mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked -back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved. - -Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner. Not a tree or -plant was on the bare rocks, and the stillness was unbroken. My breath -came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips. I said -to God, “Is this Heaven?” - -God said, “Yes; it is the highest.” - -And still we climbed. I said to God, “I cannot breathe so high.” - -God said, “Because the air is pure?” - -And my head grew dizzy, and as I climbed the blood burst from my -finger-tips. - -Then we came out upon a lonely mountain-top. - -No living being moved there; but far off on a solitary peak I saw a -lonely figure standing. Whether it were man or woman I could not tell; -for partly it seemed the figure of a woman, but its limbs were the -mighty limbs of a man. I asked God whether it was man or woman. - -God said, “In the least Heaven sex reigns supreme; in the higher it is -not noticed; but in the highest it does not exist.” - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and labour mightily, but what -it laboured at I could not see. - -I said to God, “How came it here?” - -God said, “By a bloody stair. Step by step it mounted from the lowest -Hell, and day by day as Hell grew farther and Heaven no nearer, it hung -alone between two worlds. Hour by hour in that bitter struggle its limbs -grew larger, till there fell from it rag by rag the garments which it -started with. Drops fell from its eyes as it strained them; each step it -climbed was wet with blood. Then it came out here.” - -And I thought of the garden where men sang with their arms around one -another; and the mountain-side where they worked in company. And I -shuddered. - -And I said, “Is it not terribly alone here?” - -God said, “It is never alone!” - -I said, “What has it for all its labour? I see nothing return to it.” - -Then God touched my eyes, and I saw stretched out beneath us the plains -of Heaven and Hell, and all that was within them. - -God said, “From that lone height on which he stands, all things are -open. To him is clear the shining in the garden, he sees the flower -break forth and the streams sparkle; no shout is raised upon the -mountain-side but his ear may hear it. He sees the crown grow and the -light shoot from it. All Hell is open to him. He sees the paths mount -upwards. To him, Hell is the seed ground from which Heaven springs. He -sees the sap ascending.” - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and the light from its face -fell upon it. - -And I said to God, “What is it making?” - -And God said, “Music!” - -And he touched my ears, and I heard it. - -And after a long while I whispered to God, “This is Heaven.” - -And God asked me why I was crying. But I could not answer for joy. - -And the face turned from its work, and the light fell upon me. Then it -grew so bright I could not see things separately; and which were God, -or the man, or I, I could not tell; we were all blended. I cried to God, -“Where are you?” but there was no answer, only music and light. - -Afterwards, when it had grown so dark again that I could see things -separately, I found that I was standing there wrapped tight in my little -old, brown, earthly cloak, and God and the man were separated from each -other, and from me. - -I did not dare say I would go and make music beside the man. I knew I -could not reach even to his knee, nor move the instrument he played. -But I thought I would stand there on my little peak and sing an -accompaniment to that great music. And I tried; but my voice failed. It -piped and quavered. I could not sing that tune. I was silent. - -Then God pointed to me, that I should go out of Heaven. - -And I cried to God, “Oh, let me stay here! If indeed it be, as I know -it is, that I am not great enough to sing upon the mountain, nor strong -enough to labour on its side, nor bright enough to shine and love within -the garden, at least let me go down to the great gateway; humbly I will -kneel there sweeping; and, as the saved pass in, I will see the light -upon their faces. I shall hear the singing in the garden, and the shout -upon the hillside--” - -God said, “It may not be;” he pointed. - -And I cried, “If I may not stay in Heaven, then let me go down to Hell, -and I will grasp the hands of men and women there; and slowly, holding -one another’s hands, we will work our way upwards.” - -Still God pointed. - -And I threw myself upon the earth and cried, “Earth is so small, so -mean! It is not meet a soul should see Heaven and be cast out again!” - -And God laid his hand on me, and said, “Go back to earth: that which you -seek is there.” - -I awoke: it was morning. The silence and darkness of the night were -gone. Through my narrow attic window I saw the light of another day. I -closed my eyes and turned towards the wall: I could not look upon the -dull grey world. - -In the streets below, men and women streamed past by hundreds; I heard -the beat of their feet on the pavement. Men on their way to business; -servants on errands; boys hurrying to school; weary professors pacing -slowly the old street; prostitutes, men and women, dragging their -feet wearily after last night’s debauch; artists with quick, impatient -footsteps; tradesmen for orders; children to seek for bread. I heard the -stream beat by. And at the alley’s mouth, at the street corner, a broken -barrel-organ was playing; sometimes it quavered and almost stopped, then -went on again, like a broken human voice. - -I listened: my heart scarcely moved; it was as cold as lead. I could -not bear the long day before me; and I tried to sleep again; yet still I -heard the feet upon the pavement. And suddenly I heard them cry loud as -they beat, “We are seeking!--we are seeking!--we are seeking!” and the -broken barrel-organ at the street corner sobbed, “The Beautiful!--the -Beautiful!--the Beautiful!” And my heart, which had been dead, cried out -with every throb, “Love!--Truth!--the Beautiful!--the Beautiful!” It was -the music I had heard in Heaven that I could not sing there. - -And fully I awoke. - -Upon the faded quilt, across my bed a long yellow streak of pale London -sunlight was lying. It fell through my narrow attic window. - -I laughed. I rose. - -I was glad the long day was before me. - -Paris and London. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1439 *** diff --git a/old/old-2025-02-01/1439-h/1439-h.htm b/old/old-2025-02-01/1439-h/1439-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index f2a84e6..0000000 --- a/old/old-2025-02-01/1439-h/1439-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3196 +0,0 @@ -<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> - -<!DOCTYPE html - PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > - -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> - <head> - <title> - Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - </title> - <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> - - body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} - P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } - H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } - hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} - .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } - blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} - .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} - .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} - .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} - div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } - div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } - .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} - .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} - .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; - margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; - text-align: right;} - pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} - -</style> - </head> - <body> -<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1439 ***</div> - <p> - <br /><br /> - </p> - <h1> - DREAMS - </h1> - <p> - <br /> - </p> - <h2> - By Olive Schreiner - </h2> - <p> - <br /><br /> - </p> - <h4> - To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of that <br />which - for us is yet sight, not touch. <br /><br /> Note.<br /><br /> These Dreams - are printed in the order in which they were written.<br /><br /> In the case - of two there was a lapse of some years between the writing of the first - and last parts; these are placed according to the date of the first part.<br /><br /> - Olive Schreiner.<br /><br /> Matjesfontein,<br /> Cape Colony,<br /> South - Africa.<br /> November, 1890. - </h4> - <p> - <br /> <br /> - </p> - <hr /> - <p> - <br /> <br /> - </p> - <h2> - Contents - </h2> - <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> - <tr> - <td> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> I. THE LOST JOY. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> II. THE HUNTER. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VIII. LIFE’S GIFTS. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> IX. THE ARTIST’S SECRET. </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> X. “I THOUGHT I STOOD.” </a> - </p> - <p class="toc"> - <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. </a> - </p> - </td> - </tr> - </table> - <p> - <br /> <br /> - </p> - <hr /> - <p> - <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <h2> - I. THE LOST JOY. - </h2> - <h3> - All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat. - </h3> - <p> - All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face - looked out across the water. She was waiting—she was waiting; but - she could not tell for what. - </p> - <p> - All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the - pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her - eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee - and fell asleep, waiting still. - </p> - <p> - Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore—Life - awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed - through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of - Love—and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting. - </p> - <p> - And Love drew Life up to him. - </p> - <p> - And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful—Joy, - First-Joy was it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water - is not so glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun’s - first kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was so warm, - so soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the sunshine: and - Love and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it to the other, but - deep in its own heart each said, “It shall be ours for ever.” - </p> - <p> - Then there came a time—was it after weeks? was it after months? - (Love and Life do not measure time)—when the thing was not as it had - been. - </p> - <p> - Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with purple - berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the little eyes - looked out heavily across the water. - </p> - <p> - And Life and Love dared not look into each other’s eyes, dared not say, - “What ails our darling?” Each heart whispered to itself, “It is nothing, - it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear.” But tomorrow and - tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but - heavily, more heavily. - </p> - <p> - One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it was gone: - only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with wide-open eyes, - very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked apart, weeping - bitterly, “Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no more for ever?” - </p> - <p> - The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of - each, and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between - them. And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected in - its soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, “I am weary, I am - weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark is all - before,” a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon the - hill-sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always the - little brave mouth was smiling quietly. - </p> - <p> - When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his - garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the - desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over the - hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert found - water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love’s lips with. He was no - burden—he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on their - journey. - </p> - <p> - When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the rocks—for - Love and Life must pass through strange drear places—there, where - all is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands and - held them against his beating little heart, and warmed them—and - softly he drew them on and on. - </p> - <p> - And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers, - strangely the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face. - Brightly laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the - hollow tree; and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them - water in the leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them - round their heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as their - Joy had touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly. - </p> - <p> - So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with - that little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered that - first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, “Oh! could we but find him - also!” - </p> - <p> - At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who has - always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who steals - light out of the past to shed it on the future. - </p> - <p> - And Life and Love cried out, “O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a - lovely radiant thing belonged to us—gladness without a tear, - sunshine without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall - we go that we may find it?” - </p> - <p> - And she, the wise old woman, answered, “To have it back, will you give up - that which walks beside you now?” - </p> - <p> - And in agony Love and Life cried, “No!” - </p> - <p> - “Give up this!” said Life. “When the thorns have pierced me, who will suck - the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands upon it - and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm my freezing - heart?” - </p> - <p> - And Love cried out, “Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without - this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!” - </p> - <p> - And the wise old woman answered, “O fools and blind! What you once had is - that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant thing is - born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when the shades - begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold and long—then - it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL not know it—till - one day they start up suddenly, crying, ‘O God! O God! we have lost it! - Where is it?’ They do not understand that they could not carry the - laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost, and the snow. - They do not know that what walks beside them still is the Joy grown older. - The grave, sweet, tender thing—warm in the coldest snows, brave in - the dreariest deserts—its name is Sympathy; it is the Perfect Love.” - </p> - <p> - South Africa. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - II. THE HUNTER. - </h2> - <p> - In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for - wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores of - a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming of the - birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a reflection. - He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a burning desire - came over him to see once again that reflection in the water, and all day - he watched and waited; but night came and it had not returned. Then he - went home with his empty bag, moody and silent. His comrades came - questioning about him to know the reason, but he answered them nothing; he - sat alone and brooded. Then his friend came to him, and to him he spoke. - </p> - <p> - “I have seen today,” he said, “that which I never saw before—a vast - white bird, with silver wings outstretched, sailing in the everlasting - blue. And now it is as though a great fire burnt within my breast. It was - but a sheen, a shimmer, a reflection in the water; but now I desire - nothing more on earth than to hold her.” - </p> - <p> - His friend laughed. - </p> - <p> - “It was but a beam playing on the water, or the shadow of your own head. - Tomorrow you will forget her,” he said. - </p> - <p> - But tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow the hunter walked alone. He - sought in the forest and in the woods, by the lakes and among the rushes, - but he could not find her. He shot no more wild fowl; what were they to - him? - </p> - <p> - “What ails him?” said his comrades. - </p> - <p> - “He is mad,” said one. - </p> - <p> - “No; but he is worse,” said another; “he would see that which none of us - have seen, and make himself a wonder.” - </p> - <p> - “Come, let us forswear his company,” said all. - </p> - <p> - So the hunter walked alone. - </p> - <p> - One night, as he wandered in the shade, very heartsore and weeping, an old - man stood before him, grander and taller than the sons of men. - </p> - <p> - “Who are you?” asked the hunter. - </p> - <p> - “I am Wisdom,” answered the old man; “but some men call me Knowledge. All - my life I have grown in these valleys; but no man sees me till he has - sorrowed much. The eyes must be washed with tears that are to behold me; - and, according as a man has suffered, I speak.” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter cried: - </p> - <p> - “Oh, you who have lived here so long, tell me, what is that great wild - bird I have seen sailing in the blue? They would have me believe she is a - dream; the shadow of my own head.” - </p> - <p> - The old man smiled. - </p> - <p> - “Her name is Truth. He who has once seen her never rests again. Till death - he desires her.” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter cried: - </p> - <p> - “Oh, tell me where I may find her.” - </p> - <p> - But the old man said: - </p> - <p> - “You have not suffered enough,” and went. - </p> - <p> - Then the hunter took from his breast the shuttle of Imagination, and wound - on it the thread of his Wishes; and all night he sat and wove a net. - </p> - <p> - In the morning he spread the golden net upon the ground, and into it he - threw a few grains of credulity, which his father had left him, and which - he kept in his breast-pocket. They were like white puff-balls, and when - you trod on them a brown dust flew out. Then he sat by to see what would - happen. The first that came into the net was a snow-white bird, with - dove’s eyes, and he sang a beautiful song—“A human-God! a human-God! - a human-God!” it sang. The second that came was black and mystical, with - dark, lovely eyes, that looked into the depths of your soul, and he sang - only this—“Immortality!” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter took them both in his arms, for he said— - </p> - <p> - “They are surely of the beautiful family of Truth.” - </p> - <p> - Then came another, green and gold, who sang in a shrill voice, like one - crying in the marketplace,—“Reward after Death! Reward after Death!” - </p> - <p> - And he said— - </p> - <p> - “You are not so fair; but you are fair too,” and he took it. - </p> - <p> - And others came, brightly coloured, singing pleasant songs, till all the - grains were finished. And the hunter gathered all his birds together, and - built a strong iron cage called a new creed, and put all his birds in it. - </p> - <p> - Then the people came about dancing and singing. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, happy hunter!” they cried. “Oh, wonderful man! Oh, delightful birds! - Oh, lovely songs!” - </p> - <p> - No one asked where the birds had come from, nor how they had been caught; - but they danced and sang before them. And the hunter too was glad, for he - said: - </p> - <p> - “Surely Truth is among them. In time she will moult her feathers, and I - shall see her snow-white form.” - </p> - <p> - But the time passed, and the people sang and danced; but the hunter’s - heart grew heavy. He crept alone, as of old, to weep; the terrible desire - had awakened again in his breast. One day, as he sat alone weeping, it - chanced that Wisdom met him. He told the old man what he had done. - </p> - <p> - And Wisdom smiled sadly. - </p> - <p> - “Many men,” he said, “have spread that net for Truth; but they have never - found her. On the grains of credulity she will not feed; in the net of - wishes her feet cannot be held; in the air of these valleys she will not - breathe. The birds you have caught are of the brood of Lies. Lovely and - beautiful, but still lies; Truth knows them not.” - </p> - <p> - And the hunter cried out in bitterness— - </p> - <p> - “And must I then sit still, to be devoured of this great burning?” - </p> - <p> - And the old man said, - </p> - <p> - “Listen, and in that you have suffered much and wept much, I will tell you - what I know. He who sets out to search for Truth must leave these valleys - of superstition forever, taking with him not one shred that has belonged - to them. Alone he must wander down into the Land of Absolute Negation and - Denial; he must abide there; he must resist temptation; when the light - breaks he must arise and follow it into the country of dry sunshine. The - mountains of stern reality will rise before him; he must climb them; - beyond them lies Truth.” - </p> - <p> - “And he will hold her fast! he will hold her in his hands!” the hunter - cried. - </p> - <p> - Wisdom shook his head. - </p> - <p> - “He will never see her, never hold her. The time is not yet.” - </p> - <p> - “Then there is no hope?” cried the hunter. - </p> - <p> - “There is this,” said Wisdom: “Some men have climbed on those mountains; - circle above circle of bare rock they have scaled; and, wandering there, - in those high regions, some have chanced to pick up on the ground one - white silver feather, dropped from the wing of Truth. And it shall come to - pass,” said the old man, raising himself prophetically and pointing with - his finger to the sky, “it shall come to pass, that when enough of those - silver feathers shall have been gathered by the hands of men, and shall - have been woven into a cord, and the cord into a net, that in that net - Truth may be captured. Nothing but Truth can hold Truth.” - </p> - <p> - The hunter arose. “I will go,” he said. - </p> - <p> - But wisdom detained him. - </p> - <p> - “Mark you well—who leaves these valleys never returns to them. - Though he should weep tears of blood seven days and nights upon the - confines, he can never put his foot across them. Left—they are left - forever. Upon the road which you would travel there is no reward offered. - Who goes, goes freely—for the great love that is in him. The work is - his reward.” - </p> - <p> - “I go” said the hunter; “but upon the mountains, tell me, which path shall - I take?” - </p> - <p> - “I am the child of The-Accumulated-Knowledge-of-Ages,” said the man; “I - can walk only where many men have trodden. On these mountains few feet - have passed; each man strikes out a path for himself. He goes at his own - peril: my voice he hears no more. I may follow after him, but cannot go - before him.” - </p> - <p> - Then Knowledge vanished. - </p> - <p> - And the hunter turned. He went to his cage, and with his hands broke down - the bars, and the jagged iron tore his flesh. It is sometimes easier to - build than to break. - </p> - <p> - One by one he took his plumed birds and let them fly. But when he came to - his dark-plumed bird he held it, and looked into its beautiful eyes, and - the bird uttered its low, deep cry—“Immortality!” - </p> - <p> - And he said quickly: “I cannot part with it. It is not heavy; it eats no - food. I will hide it in my breast; I will take it with me.” And he buried - it there and covered it over with his cloak. - </p> - <p> - But the thing he had hidden grew heavier, heavier, heavier—till it - lay on his breast like lead. He could not move with it. He could not leave - those valleys with it. Then again he took it out and looked at it. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, my beautiful! my heart’s own!” he cried, “may I not keep you?” - </p> - <p> - He opened his hands sadly. - </p> - <p> - “Go!” he said. “It may happen that in Truth’s song one note is like yours; - but I shall never hear it.” - </p> - <p> - Sadly he opened his hand, and the bird flew from him forever. - </p> - <p> - Then from the shuttle of Imagination he took the thread of his wishes, and - threw it on the ground; and the empty shuttle he put into his breast, for - the thread was made in those valleys, but the shuttle came from an unknown - country. He turned to go, but now the people came about him, howling. - </p> - <p> - “Fool, hound, demented lunatic!” they cried. “How dared you break your - cage and let the birds fly?” - </p> - <p> - The hunter spoke; but they would not hear him. - </p> - <p> - “Truth! who is she? Can you eat her? can you drink her? Who has ever seen - her? Your birds were real: all could hear them sing! Oh, fool! vile - reptile! atheist!” they cried, “you pollute the air.” - </p> - <p> - “Come, let us take up stones and stone him,” cried some. - </p> - <p> - “What affair is it of ours?” said others. “Let the idiot go,” and went - away. But the rest gathered up stones and mud and threw at him. At last, - when he was bruised and cut, the hunter crept away into the woods. And it - was evening about him. - </p> - <p> - He wandered on and on, and the shade grew deeper. He was on the borders - now of the land where it is always night. Then he stepped into it, and - there was no light there. With his hands he groped; but each branch as he - touched it broke off, and the earth was covered with cinders. At every - step his foot sank in, and a fine cloud of impalpable ashes flew up into - his face; and it was dark. So he sat down upon a stone and buried his face - in his hands, to wait in the Land of Negation and Denial till the light - came. - </p> - <p> - And it was night in his heart also. - </p> - <p> - Then from the marshes to his right and left cold mists arose and closed - about him. A fine, imperceptible rain fell in the dark, and great drops - gathered on his hair and clothes. His heart beat slowly, and a numbness - crept through all his limbs. Then, looking up, two merry wisp lights came - dancing. He lifted his head to look at them. Nearer, nearer they came. So - warm, so bright, they danced like stars of fire. They stood before him at - last. From the centre of the radiating flame in one looked out a woman’s - face, laughing, dimpled, with streaming yellow hair. In the centre of the - other were merry laughing ripples, like the bubbles on a glass of wine. - They danced before him. - </p> - <p> - “Who are you,” asked the hunter, “who alone come to me in my solitude and - darkness?” - </p> - <p> - “We are the twins Sensuality,” they cried. “Our father’s name is - Human-Nature, and our mother’s name is Excess. We are as old as the hills - and rivers, as old as the first man; but we never die,” they laughed. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, let me wrap my arms about you!” cried the first; “they are soft and - warm. Your heart is frozen now, but I will make it beat. Oh, come to me!” - </p> - <p> - “I will pour my hot life into you,” said the second; “your brain is numb, - and your limbs are dead now; but they shall live with a fierce free life. - Oh, let me pour it in!” - </p> - <p> - “Oh, follow us,” they cried, “and live with us. Nobler hearts than yours - have sat here in this darkness to wait, and they have come to us and we to - them; and they have never left us, never. All else is a delusion, but we - are real, we are real, we are real. Truth is a shadow; the valleys of - superstition are a farce: the earth is of ashes, the trees all rotten; but - we—feel us—we live! You cannot doubt us. Feel us how warm we - are! Oh, come to us! Come with us!” - </p> - <p> - Nearer and nearer round his head they hovered, and the cold drops melted - on his forehead. The bright light shot into his eyes, dazzling him, and - the frozen blood began to run. And he said: - </p> - <p> - “Yes, why should I die here in this awful darkness? They are warm, they - melt my frozen blood!” and he stretched out his hands to take them. - </p> - <p> - Then in a moment there arose before him the image of the thing he had - loved, and his hand dropped to his side. - </p> - <p> - “Oh, come to us!” they cried. - </p> - <p> - But he buried his face. - </p> - <p> - “You dazzle my eyes,” he cried, “you make my heart warm; but you cannot - give me what I desire. I will wait here—wait till I die. Go!” - </p> - <p> - He covered his face with his hands and would not listen; and when he - looked up again they were two twinkling stars, that vanished in the - distance. - </p> - <p> - And the long, long night rolled on. - </p> - <p> - All who leave the valley of superstition pass through that dark land; but - some go through it in a few days, some linger there for months, some for - years, and some die there. - </p> - <p> - At last for the hunter a faint light played along the horizon, and he rose - to follow it; and he reached that light at last, and stepped into the - broad sunshine. Then before him rose the almighty mountains of Dry-facts - and Realities. The clear sunshine played on them, and the tops were lost - in the clouds. At the foot many paths ran up. An exultant cry burst from - the hunter. He chose the straightest and began to climb; and the rocks and - ridges resounded with his song. They had exaggerated; after all, it was - not so high, nor was the road so steep! A few days, a few weeks, a few - months at most, and then the top! Not one feather only would he pick up; - he would gather all that other men had found—weave the net—capture - Truth—hold her fast—touch her with his hands—clasp her! - </p> - <p> - He laughed in the merry sunshine, and sang loud. Victory was very near. - Nevertheless, after a while the path grew steeper. He needed all his - breath for climbing, and the singing died away. On the right and left rose - huge rocks, devoid of lichen or moss, and in the lava-like earth chasms - yawned. Here and there he saw a sheen of white bones. Now too the path - began to grow less and less marked; then it became a mere trace, with a - footmark here and there; then it ceased altogether. He sang no more, but - struck forth a path for himself, until it reached a mighty wall of rock, - smooth and without break, stretching as far as the eye could see. “I will - rear a stair against it; and, once this wall climbed, I shall be almost - there,” he said bravely; and worked. With his shuttle of imagination he - dug out stones; but half of them would not fit, and half a month’s work - would roll down because those below were ill chosen. But the hunter worked - on, saying always to himself, “Once this wall climbed, I shall be almost - there. This great work ended!” - </p> - <p> - At last he came out upon the top, and he looked about him. Far below - rolled the white mist over the valleys of superstition, and above him - towered the mountains. They had seemed low before; they were of an - immeasurable height now, from crown to foundation surrounded by walls of - rock, that rose tier above tier in mighty circles. Upon them played the - eternal sunshine. He uttered a wild cry. He bowed himself on to the earth, - and when he rose his face was white. In absolute silence he walked on. He - was very silent now. In those high regions the rarefied air is hard to - breathe by those born in the valleys; every breath he drew hurt him, and - the blood oozed out from the tips of his fingers. Before the next wall of - rock he began to work. The height of this seemed infinite, and he said - nothing. The sound of his tool rang night and day upon the iron rocks into - which he cut steps. Years passed over him, yet he worked on; but the wall - towered up always above him to heaven. Sometimes he prayed that a little - moss or lichen might spring up on those bare walls to be a companion to - him; but it never came. - </p> - <p> - And the years rolled on; he counted them by the steps he had cut—a - few for a year—only a few. He sang no more; he said no more, “I will - do this or that”—he only worked. And at night, when the twilight - settled down, there looked out at him from the holes and crevices in the - rocks strange wild faces. - </p> - <p> - “Stop your work, you lonely man, and speak to us,” they cried. - </p> - <p> - “My salvation is in work, if I should stop but for one moment you would - creep down upon me,” he replied. And they put out their long necks - further. - </p> - <p> - “Look down into the crevice at your feet,” they said. “See what lie there—white - bones! As brave and strong a man as you climbed to these rocks.” And he - looked up. He saw there was no use in striving; he would never hold Truth, - never see her, never find her. So he lay down here, for he was very tired. - He went to sleep forever. He put himself to sleep. Sleep is very tranquil. - You are not lonely when you are asleep, neither do your hands ache, nor - your heart. And the hunter laughed between his teeth. - </p> - <p> - “Have I torn from my heart all that was dearest; have I wandered alone in - the land of night; have I resisted temptation; have I dwelt where the - voice of my kind is never heard, and laboured alone, to lie down and be - food for you, ye harpies?” - </p> - <p> - He laughed fiercely; and the Echoes of Despair slunk away, for the laugh - of a brave, strong heart is as a death blow to them. - </p> - <p> - Nevertheless they crept out again and looked at him. - </p> - <p> - “Do you know that your hair is white?” they said, “that your hands begin - to tremble like a child’s? Do you see that the point of your shuttle is - gone?—it is cracked already. If you should ever climb this stair,” - they said, “it will be your last. You will never climb another.” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “I know it!” and worked on. - </p> - <p> - The old, thin hands cut the stones ill and jaggedly, for the fingers were - stiff and bent. The beauty and the strength of the man was gone. - </p> - <p> - At last, an old, wizened, shrunken face looked out above the rocks. It saw - the eternal mountains rise with walls to the white clouds; but its work - was done. - </p> - <p> - The old hunter folded his tired hands and lay down by the precipice where - he had worked away his life. It was the sleeping time at last. Below him - over the valleys rolled the thick white mist. Once it broke; and through - the gap the dying eyes looked down on the trees and fields of their - childhood. From afar seemed borne to him the cry of his own wild birds, - and he heard the noise of people singing as they danced. And he thought he - heard among them the voices of his old comrades; and he saw far off the - sunlight shine on his early home. And great tears gathered in the hunter’s - eyes. - </p> - <p> - “Ah! they who die there do not die alone,” he cried. - </p> - <p> - Then the mists rolled together again; and he turned his eyes away. - </p> - <p> - “I have sought,” he said, “for long years I have laboured; but I have not - found her. I have not rested, I have not repined, and I have not seen her; - now my strength is gone. Where I lie down worn out other men will stand, - young and fresh. By the steps that I have cut they will climb; by the - stairs that I have built they will mount. They will never know the name of - the man who made them. At the clumsy work they will laugh; when the stones - roll they will curse me. But they will mount, and on my work; they will - climb, and by my stair! They will find her, and through me! And no man - liveth to himself and no man dieth to himself.” - </p> - <p> - The tears rolled from beneath the shrivelled eyelids. If Truth had - appeared above him in the clouds now he could not have seen her, the mist - of death was in his eyes. - </p> - <p> - “My soul hears their glad step coming,” he said; “and they shall mount! - they shall mount!” He raised his shrivelled hand to his eyes. - </p> - <p> - Then slowly from the white sky above, through the still air, came - something falling, falling, falling. Softly it fluttered down, and dropped - on to the breast of the dying man. He felt it with his hands. It was a - feather. He died holding it. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. - </h2> - <p> - She walked upon the beds, and the sweet rich scent arose; and she gathered - her hands full of flowers. Then Duty, with his white clear features, came - and looked at her. Then she ceased from gathering, but she walked away - among the flowers, smiling, and with her hands full. - </p> - <p> - Then Duty, with his still white face, came again, and looked at her; but - she, she turned her head away from him. At last she saw his face, and she - dropped the fairest of the flowers she had held, and walked silently away. - </p> - <p> - Then again he came to her. And she moaned, and bent her head low, and - turned to the gate. But as she went out she looked back at the sunlight on - the faces of the flowers, and wept in anguish. Then she went out, and it - shut behind her for ever; but still in her hand she held of the buds she - had gathered, and the scent was very sweet in the lonely desert. - </p> - <p> - But he followed her. Once more he stood before her with his still, white, - death-like face. And she knew what he had come for: she unbent the - fingers, and let the flowers drop out, the flowers she had loved so, and - walked on without them, with dry, aching eyes. Then for the last time he - came. And she showed him her empty hands, the hands that held nothing now. - But still he looked. Then at length she opened her bosom and took out of - it one small flower she had hidden there, and laid it on the sand. She had - nothing more to give now, and she wandered away, and the grey sand whirled - about her. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. - </h2> - <p> - There is a world in one of the far-off stars, and things do not happen - here as they happen there. - </p> - <p> - In that world were a man and woman; they had one work, and they walked - together side by side on many days, and were friends—and that is a - thing that happens now and then in this world also. - </p> - <p> - But there was something in that star-world that there is not here. There - was a thick wood: where the trees grew closest, and the stems were - interlocked, and the summer sun never shone, there stood a shrine. In the - day all was quiet, but at night, when the stars shone or the moon glinted - on the tree-tops, and all was quiet below, if one crept here quite alone - and knelt on the steps of the stone altar, and uncovering one’s breast, so - wounded it that the blood fell down on the altar steps, then whatever he - who knelt there wished for was granted him. And all this happens, as I - said, because it is a far-off world, and things often happen there as they - do not happen here. - </p> - <p> - Now, the man and woman walked together; and the woman wished well to the - man. One night when the moon was shining so that the leaves of all the - trees glinted, and the waves of the sea were silvery, the woman walked - alone to the forest. It was dark there; the moonlight fell only in little - flecks on the dead leaves under her feet, and the branches were knotted - tight overhead. Farther in it got darker, not even a fleck of moonlight - shone. Then she came to the shrine; she knelt down before it and prayed; - there came no answer. Then she uncovered her breast; with a sharp - two-edged stone that lay there she wounded it. The drops dripped slowly - down on to the stone, and a voice cried, “What do you seek?” - </p> - <p> - She answered, “There is a man; I hold him nearer than anything. I would - give him the best of all blessings.” - </p> - <p> - The voice said, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - The girl said, “I know not, but that which is most good for him I wish him - to have.” - </p> - <p> - The voice said, “Your prayer is answered; he shall have it.” - </p> - <p> - Then she stood up. She covered her breast and held the garment tight upon - it with her hand, and ran out of the forest, and the dead leaves fluttered - under her feet. Out in the moonlight the soft air was blowing, and the - sand glittered on the beach. She ran along the smooth shore, then suddenly - she stood still. Out across the water there was something moving. She - shaded her eyes and looked. It was a boat; it was sliding swiftly over the - moonlit water out to sea. One stood upright in it; the face the moonlight - did not show, but the figure she knew. It was passing swiftly; it seemed - as if no one propelled it; the moonlight’s shimmer did not let her see - clearly, and the boat was far from shore, but it seemed almost as if there - was another figure sitting in the stern. Faster and faster it glided over - the water away, away. She ran along the shore; she came no nearer it. The - garment she had held closed fluttered open; she stretched out her arms, - and the moonlight shone on her long loose hair. - </p> - <p> - Then a voice beside her whispered, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - She cried, “With my blood I bought the best of all gifts for him. I have - come to bring it him! He is going from me!” - </p> - <p> - The voice whispered softly, “Your prayer was answered. It has been given - him.” - </p> - <p> - She cried, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - The voice answered, “It is that he might leave you.” - </p> - <p> - The girl stood still. - </p> - <p> - Far out at sea the boat was lost to sight beyond the moonlight sheen. - </p> - <p> - The voice spoke softly, “Art thou contented?” - </p> - <p> - She said, “I am contented.” - </p> - <p> - At her feet the waves broke in long ripples softly on the shore. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. - </h2> - <h3> - Under a Mimosa-Tree. - </h3> - <p> - As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then I - drew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him and - left him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to left - stretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the heat - beat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And after a - while a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down against my - saddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a curious dream. - </p> - <p> - I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew about - everywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of burden of - the desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched out, and one - stood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay upon the ground, - for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was thick about it, so - that it seemed to have piled over it for centuries. - </p> - <p> - And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me watching. - And I said to him, “What is this huge creature who lies here on the sand?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “This is woman; she that bears men in her body.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled round - her?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has lain - here, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest man - living has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that she - lay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But listen! - Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded memory of man, - on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of Ancient Customs, now - crumbling to decay, are found the marks of her footsteps! Side by side - with his who stands beside her you may trace them; and you know that she - who now lies there once wandered free over the rocks with him.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Why does she lie there now?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-force - found her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her - back was broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it on - with the broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the earth - and the sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down on the - sand with the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has lain here. - And the ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band of Inevitable - Necessity has not been cut.” - </p> - <p> - And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries; - the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Has she ever tried to move?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knows - she cannot rise with the burden on her.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “He cannot. Look—” - </p> - <p> - And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, and - it bound them together. - </p> - <p> - He said, “While she lies there he must stand and look across the desert.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Does he know why he cannot move?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “No.” - </p> - <p> - And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the - band that bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden - rolled on to the ground. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “What is this?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The Age-of-nervous-force - has killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; and silently and - invisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that knife of Mechanical - Invention he has cut the band that bound the burden to her back. The - Inevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open - and her neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the - far-off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were - awake or asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came into - her eyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room. - </p> - <p> - I said, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - He whispered “Hush! the thought has come to her, ‘Might I not rise?’” - </p> - <p> - And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dent - where her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and she - looked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he looked - out across the desert. - </p> - <p> - And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth, - and veins stood out; and I cried; “She is going to rise!” - </p> - <p> - But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was. - </p> - <p> - But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside me - said, “She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her so - long.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Surely he who stands beside her will help her?” - </p> - <p> - And he beside me answered, “He cannot help her: she must help herself. Let - her struggle till she is strong.” - </p> - <p> - And I cried, “At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther from - her, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down.” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “He does not understand. When she moves she draws the - band that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. The - day will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing. - Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close to - her, and look into her eyes with sympathy.” - </p> - <p> - And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the creature - rose an inch from the earth and sank back. - </p> - <p> - And I cried, “Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years have - taken all her strength from her. Can she never move?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered me, “See the light in her eyes!” - </p> - <p> - And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees. - </p> - <p> - And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barren - earth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the red - sand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches of - the tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused over - the dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my saddle. - And in the fierce heat I had another dream. - </p> - <p> - I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the - bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of an - African river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deep - shifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn its - gigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white beard; - and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written Reason. And - he asked her what she wanted; and she said “I am woman; and I am seeking - for the land of Freedom.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “It is before you.” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and a - bank steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in them.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “And beyond that?” - </p> - <p> - She said, “I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my - hand, I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun - shining on them!” - </p> - <p> - He said, “That is the Land of Freedom.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “How am I to get there?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour, - through the water of Suffering. There is no other.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is there no bridge?” - </p> - <p> - He answered. “None.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is the water deep?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “Deep.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is the floor worn?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Have any crossed already?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “Some have tried!” - </p> - <p> - She said, “Is there a track to show where the best fording is?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “It has to be made.” - </p> - <p> - She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, “I will go.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they - are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed.” - </p> - <p> - And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions she - wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from her - waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it in a - cloud. And he said, “Take the shoes of dependence off your feet.” - </p> - <p> - And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to - her. - </p> - <p> - And he said, “That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land of - Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had - not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said, - “Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand - you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot find - a bottom do not set your foot.” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “I am ready; let me go.” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “No—but stay; what is that—in your breast?” - </p> - <p> - She was silent. - </p> - <p> - He said, “Open it, and let me see.” - </p> - <p> - And she opened it. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drank from - it, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; and his - knees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast with his hands. - </p> - <p> - And Reason said, “Who is he, and what is he doing here?” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “See his little wings—” - </p> - <p> - And Reason said, “Put him down.” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to the - Land of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried him. - In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together there, and - his great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one word only to - me in the desert—‘Passion!’ I have dreamed he might learn to say - ‘Friendship’ in that land.” - </p> - <p> - And Reason said, “Put him down!” - </p> - <p> - And she said, “I will carry him so—with one arm, and with the other - I will fight the water.” - </p> - <p> - He said, “Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you will - forget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down.” He said, “He - will not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his wings - and fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who reach the - Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the bank to help - them shall be Love’s. He will be a man then, not a child. In your breast - he cannot thrive; put him down that he may grow.” - </p> - <p> - And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her, so that the blood - ran down on to the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; and she - covered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the hair - on her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from youth to - age. - </p> - <p> - And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, “For what do - I go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! I am - utterly alone!” - </p> - <p> - And Reason, that old man, said to her, “Silence! What do you hear?” - </p> - <p> - And she listened intently, and she said, “I hear a sound of feet, a - thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat this - way!” - </p> - <p> - He said, “They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! make - a track to the water’s edge! Where you stand now, the ground will be - beaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet.” And he said, “Have - you seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down to the - water-edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and then another, - and then another, and at last with their bodies piled up a bridge is built - and the rest pass over.” - </p> - <p> - She said, “And, of those that come first, some are swept away, and are - heard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?” - </p> - <p> - “And are swept away, and are heard of no more—and what of that?” he - said. - </p> - <p> - “And what of that—” she said. - </p> - <p> - “They make a track to the water’s edge.” - </p> - <p> - “They make a track to the water’s edge—.” And she said, “Over that - bridge which shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “The entire human race.” - </p> - <p> - And the woman grasped her staff. - </p> - <p> - And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river. - </p> - <p> - And I awoke; and all about me was the yellow afternoon light: the sinking - sun lit up the fingers of the milk bushes; and my horse stood by me - quietly feeding. And I turned on my side, and I watched the ants run by - thousands in the red sand. I thought I would go on my way now—the - afternoon was cooler. Then a drowsiness crept over me again, and I laid - back my head and fell asleep. - </p> - <p> - And I dreamed a dream. - </p> - <p> - I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave men, - hand in hand. And they looked into each other’s eyes, and they were not - afraid. - </p> - <p> - And I saw the women also hold each other’s hands. - </p> - <p> - And I said to him beside me, “What place is this?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “This is heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Where is it?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “On earth.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “When shall these things be?” - </p> - <p> - And he answered, “IN THE FUTURE.” - </p> - <p> - And I awoke, and all about me was the sunset light; and on the low hills - the sun lay, and a delicious coolness had crept over everything; and the - ants were going slowly home. And I walked towards my horse, who stood - quietly feeding. Then the sun passed down behind the hills; but I knew - that the next day he would arise again. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. - </h2> - <p> - A mother sat alone at an open window. Through it came the voices of the - children as they played under the acacia-trees, and the breath of the hot - afternoon air. In and out of the room flew the bees, the wild bees, with - their legs yellow with pollen, going to and from the acacia-trees, droning - all the while. She sat on a low chair before the table and darned. She - took her work from the great basket that stood before her on the table: - some lay on her knee and half covered the book that rested there. She - watched the needle go in and out; and the dreary hum of the bees and the - noise of the children’s voices became a confused murmur in her ears, as - she worked slowly and more slowly. Then the bees, the long-legged - wasp-like fellows who make no honey, flew closer and closer to her head, - droning. Then she grew more and more drowsy, and she laid her hand, with - the stocking over it, on the edge of the table, and leaned her head upon - it. And the voices of the children outside grew more and more dreamy, came - now far, now near; then she did not hear them, but she felt under her - heart where the ninth child lay. Bent forward and sleeping there, with the - bees flying about her head, she had a weird brain-picture; she thought the - bees lengthened and lengthened themselves out and became human creatures - and moved round and round her. Then one came to her softly, saying, “Let - me lay my hand upon thy side where the child sleeps. If I shall touch him - he shall be as I.” - </p> - <p> - She asked, “Who are you?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “I am Health. Whom I touch will have always the red blood - dancing in his veins; he will not know weariness nor pain; life will be a - long laugh to him.” - </p> - <p> - “No,” said another, “let me touch; for I am Wealth. If I touch him - material care shall not feed on him. He shall live on the blood and sinews - of his fellow-men, if he will; and what his eye lusts for, his hand will - have. He shall not know ‘I want.’” And the child lay still like lead. - </p> - <p> - And another said, “Let me touch him: I am Fame. The man I touch, I lead to - a high hill where all men may see him. When he dies he is not forgotten, - his name rings down the centuries, each echoes it on to his fellows. Think—not - to be forgotten through the ages!” - </p> - <p> - And the mother lay breathing steadily, but in the brain-picture they - pressed closer to her. - </p> - <p> - “Let me touch the child,” said one, “for I am Love. If I touch him he - shall not walk through life alone. In the greatest dark, when he puts out - his hand he shall find another hand by it. When the world is against him, - another shall say, ‘You and I.’” And the child trembled. - </p> - <p> - But another pressed close and said, “Let me touch; for I am Talent. I can - do all things—that have been done before. I touch the soldier, the - statesman, the thinker, and the politician who succeed; and the writer who - is never before his time, and never behind it. If I touch the child he - shall not weep for failure.” - </p> - <p> - About the mother’s head the bees were flying, touching her with their long - tapering limbs; and, in her brain-picture, out of the shadow of the room - came one with sallow face, deep-lined, the cheeks drawn into hollows, and - a mouth smiling quiveringly. He stretched out his hand. And the mother - drew back, and cried, “Who are you?” He answered nothing; and she looked - up between his eyelids. And she said, “What can you give the child—health?” - And he said, “The man I touch, there wakes up in his blood a burning - fever, that shall lick his blood as fire. The fever that I will give him - shall be cured when his life is cured.” - </p> - <p> - “You give wealth?” - </p> - <p> - He shook his head. “The man whom I touch, when he bends to pick up gold, - he sees suddenly a light over his head in the sky; while he looks up to - see it, the gold slips from between his fingers, or sometimes another - passing takes it from them.” - </p> - <p> - “Fame?” - </p> - <p> - He answered, “likely not. For the man I touch there is a path traced out - in the sand by a finger which no man sees. That he must follow. Sometimes - it leads almost to the top, and then turns down suddenly into the valley. - He must follow it, though none else sees the tracing.” - </p> - <p> - “Love?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “He shall hunger for it—but he shall not find it. When he - stretches out his arms to it, and would lay his heart against a thing he - loves, then, far off along the horizon he shall see a light play. He must - go towards it. The thing he loves will not journey with him; he must - travel alone. When he presses somewhat to his burning heart, crying, - ‘Mine, mine, my own!’ he shall hear a voice—‘Renounce! renounce! - this is not thine!’” - </p> - <p> - “He shall succeed?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “He shall fail. When he runs with others they shall reach the - goal before him. For strange voices shall call to him and strange lights - shall beckon him, and he must wait and listen. And this shall be the - strangest: far off across the burning sands where, to other men, there is - only the desert’s waste, he shall see a blue sea! On that sea the sun - shines always, and the water is blue as burning amethyst, and the foam is - white on the shore. A great land rises from it, and he shall see upon the - mountain-tops burning gold.” - </p> - <p> - The mother said, “He shall reach it?” - </p> - <p> - And he smiled curiously. - </p> - <p> - She said, “It is real?” - </p> - <p> - And he said, “What IS real?” - </p> - <p> - And she looked up between his half-closed eyelids, and said, “Touch.” - </p> - <p> - And he leaned forward and laid his hand upon the sleeper, and whispered to - it, smiling; and this only she heard—“This shall be thy reward—that - the ideal shall be real to thee.” - </p> - <p> - And the child trembled; but the mother slept on heavily and her - brain-picture vanished. But deep within her the antenatal thing that lay - here had a dream. In those eyes that had never seen the day, in that - half-shaped brain was a sensation of light! Light—that it never had - seen. Light—that perhaps it never should see. Light—that - existed somewhere! - </p> - <p> - And already it had its reward: the Ideal was real to it. - </p> - <p> - London. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. - </h2> - <h3> - “I cannot forgive—I love.” - </h3> - <p> - There are four bare walls; there is a Christ upon the walls, in red, - carrying his cross; there is a Blessed Bambino with the face rubbed out; - there is Madonna in blue and red; there are Roman soldiers and a Christ - with tied hands. All the roof is gone; overhead is the blue, blue Italian - sky; the rain has beaten holes in the walls, and the plaster is peeling - from it. The chapel stands here alone upon the promontory, and by day and - by night the sea breaks at its feet. Some say that it was set here by the - monks from the island down below, that they might bring their sick here in - times of deadly plague. Some say that it was set here that the passing - monks and friars, as they hurried by upon the roadway, might stop and say - their prayers here. Now no one stops to pray here, and the sick come no - more to be healed. - </p> - <p> - Behind it runs the old Roman road. If you climb it and come and sit there - alone on a hot sunny day you may almost hear at last the clink of the - Roman soldiers upon the pavement, and the sound of that older time, as you - sit there in the sun, when Hannibal and his men broke through the - brushwood, and no road was. - </p> - <p> - Now it is very quiet. Sometimes a peasant girl comes riding by between her - panniers, and you hear the mule’s feet beat upon the bricks of the - pavement; sometimes an old woman goes past with a bundle of weeds upon her - head, or a brigand-looking man hurries by with a bundle of sticks in his - hand; but for the rest the Chapel lies here alone upon the promontory, - between the two bays and hears the sea break at its feet. - </p> - <p> - I came here one winter’s day when the midday sun shone hot on the bricks - of the Roman road. I was weary, and the way seemed steep. I walked into - the chapel to the broken window, and looked out across the bay. Far off, - across the blue, blue water, were towns and villages, hanging white and - red dots, upon the mountain-sides, and the blue mountains rose up into the - sky, and now stood out from it and now melted back again. - </p> - <p> - The mountains seemed calling to me, but I knew there would never be a - bridge built from them to me; never, never, never! I shaded my eyes with - my hand and turned away. I could not bear to look at them. - </p> - <p> - I walked through the ruined Chapel, and looked at the Christ in red - carrying his cross, and the Blessed rubbed-out Bambino, and the Roman - soldiers, and the folded hands, and the reed; and I went and sat down in - the open porch upon a stone. At my feet was the small bay, with its white - row of houses buried among the olive trees; the water broke in a long, - thin, white line of foam along the shore; and I leaned my elbows on my - knees. I was tired, very tired; tired with a tiredness that seemed older - than the heat of the day and the shining of the sun on the bricks of the - Roman road; and I lay my head upon my knees; I heard the breaking of the - water on the rocks three hundred feet below, and the rustling of the wind - among the olive trees and the ruined arches, and then I fell asleep there. - I had a dream. - </p> - <p> - A man cried up to God, and God sent down an angel to help him; and the - angel came back and said, “I cannot help that man.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “How is it with him?” - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “He cries out continually that one has injured him; - and he would forgive him and he cannot.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “What have you done for him?” - </p> - <p> - The angel said, “All—. I took him by the hand, and I said, ‘See, - when other men speak ill of that man do you speak well of him; secretly, - in ways he shall not know, serve him; if you have anything you value share - it with him, so, serving him, you will at last come to feel possession in - him, and you will forgive.’ And he said, ‘I will do it.’ Afterwards, as I - passed by in the dark of night, I heard one crying out, ‘I have done all. - It helps nothing! My speaking well of him helps me nothing! If I share my - heart’s blood with him, is the burning within me less? I cannot forgive; I - cannot forgive! Oh, God, I cannot forgive!’ - </p> - <p> - “I said to him, ‘See here, look back on all your past. See from your - childhood all smallness, all indirectness that has been yours; look well - at it, and in its light do you not see every man your brother? Are you so - sinless you have right to hate?’ - </p> - <p> - “He looked, and said, ‘Yes, you are right; I too have failed, and I - forgive my fellow. Go, I am satisfied; I have forgiven;’ and he laid him - down peacefully and folded his hands on his breast, and I thought it was - well with him. But scarcely had my wings rustled and I turned to come up - here, when I heard one crying out on earth again, ‘I cannot forgive! I - cannot forgive! Oh, God, God, I cannot forgive! It is better to die than - to hate! I cannot forgive! I cannot forgive!’ And I went and stood outside - his door in the dark, and I heard him cry, ‘I have not sinned so, not so! - If I have torn my fellows’ flesh ever so little, I have kneeled down and - kissed the wound with my mouth till it was healed. I have not willed that - any soul shall be lost through hate of me. If they have but fancied that I - wronged them I have lain down on the ground before them that they might - tread on me, and so, seeing my humiliation, forgive and not be lost - through hating me; they have not cared that my soul should be lost; they - have not willed to save me; they have not tried that I should forgive - them!’ - </p> - <p> - “I said to him, ‘See here, be thou content; do not forgive: forget this - soul and its injury; go on your way. In the next world perhaps—’ - </p> - <p> - “He cried, ‘Go from me, you understand nothing! What is the next world to - me! I am lost now, today. I cannot see the sunlight shine, the dust is in - my throat, the sand is in my eyes! Go from me, you know nothing! Oh, once - again before I die to see that the world is beautiful! Oh, God, God, I - cannot live and not love. I cannot live and hate. Oh, God, God, God!’ So I - left him crying out and came back here.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “This man’s soul must be saved.” - </p> - <p> - And the angel said “How?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Go down you, and save it.” - </p> - <p> - The angel said, “What more shall I do?” - </p> - <p> - Then God bent down and whispered in the angel’s ear, and the angel spread - out its wings and went down to earth. - </p> - <p> - And partly I woke, sitting there upon the broken stone with my head on my - knee; but I was too weary to rise. I heard the wind roam through the olive - trees and among the ruined arches, and then I slept again. - </p> - <p> - The angel went down and found the man with the bitter heart and took him - by the hand, and led him to a certain spot. - </p> - <p> - Now the man wist not where it was the angel would take him nor what he - would show him there. And when they came the angel shaded the man’s eyes - with his wing, and when he moved it the man saw somewhat on the earth - before them. For God had given it to that angel to unclothe a human soul; - to take from it all those outward attributes of form, and colour, and age, - and sex, whereby one man is known from among his fellows and is marked off - from the rest, and the soul lay before them, bare, as a man turning his - eye inwards beholds himself. - </p> - <p> - They saw its past, its childhood, the tiny life with the dew upon it; they - saw its youth when the dew was melting, and the creature raised its - Lilliputian mouth to drink from a cup too large for it, and they saw how - the water spilt; they saw its hopes that were never realized; they saw its - hours of intellectual blindness, men call sin; they saw its hours of - all-radiating insight, which men call righteousness; they saw its hour of - strength, when it leaped to its feet crying, “I am omnipotent;” its hour - of weakness, when it fell to the earth and grasped dust only; they saw - what it might have been, but never would be. - </p> - <p> - The man bent forward. - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - He answered, “It is I! it is myself!” And he went forward as if he would - have lain his heart against it; but the angel held him back and covered - his eyes. - </p> - <p> - Now God had given power to the angel further to unclothe that soul, to - take from it all those outward attributes of time and place and - circumstance whereby the individual life is marked off from the life of - the whole. - </p> - <p> - Again the angel uncovered the man’s eyes, and he looked. He saw before him - that which in its tiny drop reflects the whole universe; he saw that which - marks within itself the step of the furthest star, and tells how the - crystal grows under ground where no eye has seen it; that which is where - the germ in the egg stirs; which moves the outstretched fingers of the - little newborn babe, and keeps the leaves of the trees pointing upward; - which moves where the jelly-fish sail alone on the sunny seas, and is - where the lichens form on the mountains’ rocks. - </p> - <p> - And the man looked. - </p> - <p> - And the angel touched him. - </p> - <p> - But the man bowed his head and shuddered. He whispered—“It is God!” - </p> - <p> - And the angel re-covered the man’s eyes. And when he uncovered them there - was one walking from them a little way off;—for the angel had - re-clothed the soul in its outward form and vesture—and the man knew - who it was. - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “Do you know him?” - </p> - <p> - And the man said, “I know him,” and he looked after the figure. - </p> - <p> - And the angel said, “Have you forgiven him?” - </p> - <p> - But the man said, “How beautiful my brother is!” - </p> - <p> - And the angel looked into the man’s eyes, and he shaded his own face with - his wing from the light. He laughed softly and went up to God. - </p> - <p> - But the men were together on earth. - </p> - <p> - I awoke. - </p> - <p> - The blue, blue sky was over my head, and the waves were breaking below on - the shore. I walked through the little chapel, and I saw the Madonna in - blue and red, and the Christ carrying his cross, and the Roman soldiers - with the rod, and the Blessed Bambino with its broken face; and then I - walked down the sloping rock to the brick pathway. The olive trees stood - up on either side of the road, their black berries and pale-green leaves - stood out against the sky; and the little ice-plants hung from the - crevices in the stone wall. It seemed to me as if it must have rained - while I was asleep. I thought I had never seen the heavens and the earth - look so beautiful before. I walked down the road. The old, old, old - tiredness was gone. - </p> - <p> - Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she had - two large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the road - before me. - </p> - <p> - I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and to - have held his hand—only, he would not have known why. - </p> - <p> - Alassio, Italy. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - VIII. LIFE’S GIFTS. - </h2> - <p> - I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, and - held in each hand a gift—in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And - she said to the woman, “Choose!” - </p> - <p> - And the woman waited long: and she said, “Freedom!” - </p> - <p> - And Life said, “Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, ‘Love,’ I would - have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone from thee, - and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I shall return. - In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand.” - </p> - <p> - I heard the woman laugh in her sleep. - </p> - <p> - London. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - IX. THE ARTIST’S SECRET. - </h2> - <p> - There was an artist once, and he painted a picture. Other artists had - colours richer and rarer, and painted more notable pictures. He painted - his with one colour, there was a wonderful red glow on it; and the people - went up and down, saying, “We like the picture, we like the glow.” - </p> - <p> - The other artists came and said, “Where does he get his colour from?” They - asked him; and he smiled and said, “I cannot tell you”; and worked on with - his head bent low. - </p> - <p> - And one went to the far East and bought costly pigments, and made a rare - colour and painted, but after a time the picture faded. Another read in - the old books, and made a colour rich and rare, but when he had put it on - the picture it was dead. - </p> - <p> - But the artist painted on. Always the work got redder and redder, and the - artist grew whiter and whiter. At last one day they found him dead before - his picture, and they took him up to bury him. The other men looked about - in all the pots and crucibles, but they found nothing they had not. - </p> - <p> - And when they undressed him to put his grave-clothes on him, they found - above his left breast the mark of a wound—it was an old, old wound, - that must have been there all his life, for the edges were old and - hardened; but Death, who seals all things, had drawn the edges together, - and closed it up. - </p> - <p> - And they buried him. And still the people went about saying, “Where did he - find his colour from?” - </p> - <p> - And it came to pass that after a while the artist was forgotten—but - the work lived. - </p> - <p> - St. Leonards-on-Sea. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - X. “I THOUGHT I STOOD.” - </h2> - <p> - I thought I stood in Heaven before God’s throne, and God asked me what I - had come for. I said I had come to arraign my brother, Man. - </p> - <p> - God said, “What has he done?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “He has taken my sister, Woman, and has stricken her, and wounded - her, and thrust her out into the streets; she lies there prostrate. His - hands are red with blood. I am here to arraign him; that the kingdom be - taken from him, because he is not worthy, and given unto me. My hands are - pure.” - </p> - <p> - I showed them. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Thy hands are pure.—Lift up thy robe.” - </p> - <p> - I raised it; my feet were red, blood-red, as if I had trodden in wine. - </p> - <p> - God said, “How is this?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Dear Lord, the streets on earth are full of mire. If I should - walk straight on in them my outer robe might be bespotted, you see how - white it is! Therefore I pick my way.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “On what?” - </p> - <p> - I was silent, and I let my robe fall. I wrapped my mantle about my head. I - went out softly. I was afraid that the angels would see me. - </p> - <p> - II. - </p> - <p> - Once more I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and another. We held fast by - one another; we were very tired. We looked up at the great gates; the - angels opened them, and we went in. The mud was on our garments. We walked - across the marble floor, and up to the great throne. Then the angels - divided us. Her, they set upon the top step, but me, upon the bottom; for, - they said, “Last time this woman came here she left red foot-marks on the - floor; we had to wash them out with our tears. Let her not go up.” - </p> - <p> - Then she, with whom I came, looked back, and stretched out her hand to me; - and I went and stood beside her. And the angels, they, the shining ones - who never sinned and never suffered, walked by us to and fro and up and - down; I think we should have felt a little lonely there if it had not been - for one another, the angels were so bright. - </p> - <p> - God asked me what I had come for; and I drew my sister forward a little - that he might see her. - </p> - <p> - God said, “How is it you are here together today?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “She was upon the ground in the street, and they passed over her; - I lay down by her, and she put her arms around my neck, and so I lifted - her, and we two rose together.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Whom are you now come to accuse before me?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “We are come to accuse no man.” - </p> - <p> - And God bent, and said, “My children—what is it that ye seek?” - </p> - <p> - And she beside me drew my hand that I should speak for both. - </p> - <p> - I said, “We have come to ask that thou shouldst speak to Man, our brother, - and give us a message for him that he might understand, and that he might—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Go, take the message down to him!” - </p> - <p> - I said, “But what is the message?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Upon your hearts it is written; take it down to him.” - </p> - <p> - And we turned to go; the angels went with us to the door. They looked at - us. - </p> - <p> - And one said—“Ai! but their dresses are beautiful!” - </p> - <p> - And the other said, “I thought it was mire when they came in, but see, it - is all golden!” - </p> - <p> - But another said, “Hush, it is the light from their faces!” - </p> - <p> - And we went down to him. - </p> - <p> - Alassio, Italy. - </p> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> - <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. - </h2> - <p> - In the dark one night I lay upon my bed. I heard the policeman’s feet beat - on the pavement; I heard the wheels of carriages roll home from houses of - entertainment; I heard a woman’s laugh below my window—and then I - fell asleep. And in the dark I dreamt a dream. I dreamt God took my soul - to Hell. - </p> - <p> - Hell was a fair place; the water of the lake was blue. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “I like this place.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, dost thou!” - </p> - <p> - Birds sang, turf came to the water-edge, and trees grew from it. Away off - among the trees I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of many - delicate colours and clung to them, and they were tall and graceful and - had yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided in and - out among the trees, and over their heads hung yellow fruit like large - pears of melted gold. - </p> - <p> - I said, “It is very fair; I would go up and taste the—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Wait.” - </p> - <p> - And after a while I noticed a very fair woman pass: she looked this way - and that, and drew down a branch, and it seemed she kissed the fruit upon - it softly, and went on her way, and her dress made no rustle as she passed - over the grass. And when I saw her no more, from among the stems came - another woman fair as she had been, in a delicate tinted robe; she looked - this way and that. When she saw no one there she drew down the fruit, and - when she had looked over it to find a place, she put her mouth to it - softly, and went away. And I saw other and other women come, making no - noise, and they glided away also over the grass. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “What are they doing?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are poisoning.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “How?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They touch it with their lips, when they have made a tiny wound - in it with their fore-teeth they set in it that which is under their - tongues: they close it with their lip—that no man may see the place, - and pass on.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “That another may not eat.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “But if they poison all then none dare eat; what do they - gain?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Nothing.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Are they not afraid they themselves may bite where another has - bitten?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are afraid. In Hell all men fear.” - </p> - <p> - He called me further. And the water of the lake seemed less blue. - </p> - <p> - Then, to the right among the trees were men working. And I said to God, “I - should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very fruitful place, - the grass is so green.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Nothing grows in the garden they are making.” - </p> - <p> - We stood looking; and I saw them working among the bushes, digging holes, - but in them they set nothing; and when they had covered them with sticks - and earth each went a way off and sat behind the bushes watching; and I - noticed that as each walked he set his foot down carefully looking where - he trod. I said to God, “What are they doing?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why do they do it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because each thinks that when his brother falls he will rise.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How will he rise?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “He will not rise.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Are these men sane?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are not sane; there is no sane man in Hell.” - </p> - <p> - And he told me to come further. - </p> - <p> - And I looked where I trod. - </p> - <p> - And we came where Hell opened into a plain, and a great house stood there. - Marble pillars upheld the roof, and white marble steps let up to it. The - wind of heaven blew through it. Only at the back hung a thick curtain. - Fair men and women there feasted at long tables. They danced, and I saw - the robes of women flutter in the air and heard the laugh of strong men. - What they feasted with was wine; they drew it from large jars which stood - somewhat in the background, and I saw the wine sparkle as they drew it. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “I should like to go up and drink.” And God said, - “Wait.” And I saw men coming in to the Banquet House; they came in from - the back and lifted the corner of the curtain at the sides and crept in - quickly; and they let the curtain fall behind them; they bore great jars - they could hardly carry. And the men and women crowded round them, and the - new-comers opened their jars and gave them of the wine to drink; and I saw - that the women drank even more greedily than the men. And when others had - well drunken they set the jars among the old ones beside the wall, and - took their places at the table. And I saw that some of the jars were very - old and mildewed and dusty, but others had still drops of new must on them - and shone from the furnace. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “What is that?” For amid the sound of the singing, and - over the dancing of feet, and over the laughing across the wine-cups I - heard a cry. - </p> - <p> - And God said, “Stand a way off.” - </p> - <p> - And he took me where I saw both sides of the curtain. Behind the house was - the wine-press where the wine was made. I saw the grapes crushed, and I - heard them cry. I said, “Do not they on the other side hear it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “The curtain is thick; they are feasting.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “But the men who came in last. They saw?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They let the curtain fall behind them—and they forget!” - </p> - <p> - I said, “How came they by their jars of wine?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “In the treading of the press these are they who came to the - top; they have climbed out over the edge, and filled their jars from - below, and have gone into the house.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “And if they had fallen as they climbed—?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They had been wine.” - </p> - <p> - I stood a way off watching in the sunshine, and I shivered. - </p> - <p> - God lay in the sunshine watching too. - </p> - <p> - Then there rose one among the feasters, who said, “My brethren, let us - pray!” - </p> - <p> - And all the men and women rose: and strong men bowed their heads, and - mothers folded their little children’s hands together, and turned their - faces upwards, to the roof. And he who first had risen stood at the table - head, and stretched out both his hands, and his beard was long and white, - and his sleeves and his beard had been dipped in wine; and because the - sleeves were wide and full they held much wine, and it dropped down upon - the floor. - </p> - <p> - And he cried, “My brothers and my sisters, let us pray.” - </p> - <p> - And all the men and women answered, “Let us pray.” - </p> - <p> - He cried, “For this fair banquet-house we thank thee, Lord.” - </p> - <p> - And all the men and women said “We thank thee, Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Thine is this house, dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Thine is this house.” - </p> - <p> - “For us hast thou made it.” - </p> - <p> - “For us.” - </p> - <p> - “Oh, fill our jars with wine, dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Our jars with wine.” - </p> - <p> - “Give peace and plenty in our time, dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Peace and plenty in our time”—I said to God, “Whom is it they are - talking to?” God said, “Do I know whom they speak of?” And I saw they were - looking up at the roof; but out in the sunshine, God lay. - </p> - <p> - “—dear Lord!” - </p> - <p> - “Dear Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “Our children’s children, Lord, shall rise and call thee blessed.” - </p> - <p> - “Our children’s children, Lord.”—I said to God, “The grapes are - crying!” God said, “Still! I hear them”—“shall call thee blessed.” - </p> - <p> - “Shall call thee blessed.” - </p> - <p> - “Pour forth more wine upon us, Lord.” - </p> - <p> - “More wine.” - </p> - <p> - “More wine.” - </p> - <p> - “More wine!” - </p> - <p> - “Wine!!” - </p> - <p> - “Wine!!” - </p> - <p> - “Wine!!!” - </p> - <p> - “Dear Lord!” - </p> - <p> - Then men and women sat down and the feast went on. And mothers poured out - wine and fed their little children with it, and men held up the cup to - women’s lips and cried, “Beloved! drink,” and women filled their lovers’ - flagons and held them up; and yet the feast went on. - </p> - <p> - And after a while I looked, and I saw the curtain that hung behind the - house moving. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Is it a wind?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “A wind.” - </p> - <p> - And it seemed to me, that against the curtain I saw pressed the forms of - men and women. And after a while the feasters saw it move, and they - whispered, one to another. Then some rose and gathered the most worn-out - cups, and into them they put what was left at the bottom of other vessels. - Mothers whispered to their children, “Do not drink all, save a little drop - when you have drunk.” And when they had collected all the dregs they - slipped the cups out under the bottom of the curtain without lifting it. - After a while the curtain left off moving. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How is it so quiet?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “They have gone away to drink it.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “They drink it—their own!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It comes from this side of the curtain, and they are very - thirsty.” - </p> - <p> - Then the feast went on, and after a while I saw a small, white hand - slipped in below the curtain’s edge along the floor; and it motioned - towards the wine jars. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “Why is that hand so bloodless?” - </p> - <p> - And God said, “It is a wine-pressed hand.” - </p> - <p> - And men saw it and started to their feet; and women cried, and ran to the - great wine jars, and threw their arms around them, and cried, “Ours, our - own, our beloved!” and twined their long hair about them. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why are they frightened of that one small hand?” - </p> - <p> - God answered, “Because it is so white.” - </p> - <p> - And men ran in a great company towards the curtain, and struggled there. I - heard them strike upon the floor. And when they moved away the curtain - hung smooth and still; and there was a small stain upon the floor. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Why do they not wash it out?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They cannot.” - </p> - <p> - And they took small stones and put them down along the edge of the curtain - to keep it down. Then the men and women sat down again at the tables. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “Will those stones keep it down?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “What think you?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “If the wind blew?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “If the wind blew?” - </p> - <p> - And the feast went on. - </p> - <p> - And suddenly I cried to God, “If one should rise among them, even of - themselves, and start up from the table and should cast away his cup, and - cry, ‘My brothers and my sisters, stay! what is it that we drink?’—and - with his sword should cut in two the curtain, and holding wide the - fragments, cry, ‘Brothers, sisters, see! it is not wine, not wine! not - wine! My brothers, oh, my sisters!’ and he should overturn the—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Be still!—, see there.” - </p> - <p> - I looked: before the banquet-house, among the grass, I saw a row of - mounds, flowers covered them, and gilded marble stood at their heads. I - asked God what they were. - </p> - <p> - He answered, “They are the graves of those who rose up at the feast and - cried.” - </p> - <p> - And I asked God how they came there. - </p> - <p> - He said, “The men of the banquet-house rose and cast them down backwards.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Who buried them?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “The men who cast them down.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “How came it that they threw them down, and then set marble over - them?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because the bones cried out, they covered them.” - </p> - <p> - And among the grass and weeds I saw an unburied body lying; and I asked - God why it was. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because it was thrown down only yesterday. In a little while, - when the flesh shall have fallen from its bones, they will bury it also, - and plant flowers over it.” - </p> - <p> - And still the feast went on. - </p> - <p> - Men and women sat at the tables quaffing great bowls. Some rose, and threw - their arms about each other, and danced and sang. They pledged each other - in the wine, and kissed each other’s blood-red lips. - </p> - <p> - Higher and higher grew the revels. - </p> - <p> - Men, when they had drunk till they could no longer, threw what was left in - their glasses up to the roof, and let it fall back in cascades. Women dyed - their children’s garments in the wine, and fed them on it till their tiny - mouths were red. Sometimes, as the dancers whirled, they overturned a - vessel, and their garments were bespattered. Children sat upon the floor - with great bowls of wine, and swam rose-leaves on it, for boats. They put - their hands in the wine and blew large red bubbles. - </p> - <p> - And higher and higher grew the revels, and wilder the dancing, and louder - and louder the singing. But here and there among the revellers were those - who did not revel. I saw that at the tables here and there were men who - sat with their elbows on the board and hands shading their eyes; they - looked into the wine-cup beneath them, and did not drink. And when one - touched them lightly on the shoulder, bidding them to rise and dance and - sing, they started, and then looked down, and sat there watching the wine - in the cup, but they did not move. - </p> - <p> - And here and there I saw a woman sit apart. The others danced and sang and - fed their children, but she sat silent with her head aside as though she - listened. Her little children plucked her gown; she did not see them; she - was listening to some sound, but she did not stir. - </p> - <p> - The revels grew higher. Men drank till they could drink no longer, and lay - their heads upon the table sleeping heavily. Women who could dance no more - leaned back on the benches with their heads against their lovers’ - shoulders. Little children, sick with wine, lay down upon the edges of - their mothers’ robes. Sometimes, a man rose suddenly, and as he staggered - struck the tables and overthrew the benches; some leaned upon the - balustrades sick unto death. Here and there one rose who staggered to the - wine jars and lay down beside them. He turned the wine tap, but sleep - overcame him as he lay there, and the wine ran out. - </p> - <p> - Slowly the thin, red stream ran across the white marbled floor; it reached - the stone steps; slowly, slowly, slowly it trickled down, from step to - step, from step to step: then it sank into the earth. A thin white smoke - rose up from it. - </p> - <p> - I was silent; I could not breathe; but God called me to come further. - </p> - <p> - And after I had travelled for a while I came where on seven hills lay the - ruins of a mighty banquet-house larger and stronger than the one which I - had seen standing. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “What did the men who built it here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They feasted.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “On what?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “On wine.” - </p> - <p> - And I looked; and it seemed to me that behind the ruins lay still a large - circular hollow within the earth where a foot of the wine-press had stood. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How came it that this large house fell?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because the earth was sodden.” - </p> - <p> - He called me to come further. - </p> - <p> - And at last we came upon a hill where blue waters played, and white marble - lay upon the earth. I said to God, “What was here once?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “A pleasure house.” - </p> - <p> - I looked, and at my feet great pillars lay. I cried aloud for joy to God, - “The marble blossoms!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, ‘twas a fairy house. There has not been one like to it, nor - ever shall be. The pillars and the porticoes blossomed; and the wine cups - were as gathered flowers: on this side all the curtain was broidered with - fair designs, the stitching was of gold.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How came it that it fell?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “On the side of the wine-press it was dark.” - </p> - <p> - And as we travelled, we came where lay a mighty ridge of sand, and a dark - river ran there; and there rose two vast mounds. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “They are very mighty.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, exceeding great.” - </p> - <p> - And I listened. - </p> - <p> - God asked me what I was listening to. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “A sound of weeping, and I hear the sound of strokes, but I - cannot tell whence it comes.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is the echo of the wine-press lingering still among the - coping-stones upon the mounds. A banquet-house stood here.” - </p> - <p> - And he called me to come further. - </p> - <p> - Upon a barren hill-side, where the soil was arid, God called me to stand - still. And I looked around. - </p> - <p> - God said, “There was a feasting-house here once upon a time.” - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “I see no mark of any!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “There was not left one stone upon another that has not been - thrown down.” And I looked round; and on the hill-side was a lonely grave. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “What lies there?” - </p> - <p> - He said, “A vine truss, bruised in the wine-press!” - </p> - <p> - And at the head of the grave stood a cross, and on its foot lay a crown of - thorns. - </p> - <p> - And as I turned to go, I looked backward. The wine-press and the - banquet-house were gone; but the grave yet stood. - </p> - <p> - And when I came to the edge of a long ridge there opened out before me a - wide plain of sand. And when I looked downward I saw great stones lie - shattered; and the desert sand had half covered them over. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “There is writing on them, but I cannot read it.” - </p> - <p> - And God blew aside the desert sand, and I read the writing: “Weighed in - the balance, and found—” but the last word was wanting. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “It was a banquet-house?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Ay, a banquet-house.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “There was a wine-press here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “There was a wine-press.” - </p> - <p> - I asked no further question. I was very weary; I shaded my eyes with my - hand, and looked through the pink evening light. - </p> - <p> - Far off, across the sand, I saw two figures standing. With wings upfolded - high above their heads, and stern faces set, neither man nor beast, they - looked out across the desert sand, watching, watching, watching! I did not - ask God what they were, for I knew what the answer would be. - </p> - <p> - And, further and yet further, in the evening light, I looked with my - shaded eyes. - </p> - <p> - Far off, where the sands were thick and heavy, I saw a solitary pillar - standing: the crown had fallen, and the sand had buried it. On the broken - pillar sat a grey owl-of-the-desert, with folded wings; and in the evening - light I saw the desert fox creep past it, trailing his brush across the - sand. - </p> - <p> - Further, yet further, as I looked across the desert, I saw the sand - gathered into heaps as though it covered something. - </p> - <p> - I cried to God, “Oh, I am so weary.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “You have seen only one half of Hell.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “I cannot see more, I am afraid of Hell. In my own narrow little - path I dare not walk because I think that one has dug a pitfall for me; - and if I put my hand to take a fruit I draw it back again because I think - it has been kissed already. If I look out across the plains, the mounds - are burial heaps; and when I pass among the stones I hear them crying - aloud. When I see men dancing I hear the time beaten in with sobs; and - their wine is living! Oh, I cannot bear Hell!” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Where will you go?” - </p> - <p> - I said “To the earth from which I came; it was better there.” - </p> - <p> - And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Come, and I will show you Heaven.” - </p> - <p> - ... - </p> - <p> - And partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages had - died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the policeman’s - tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great hand lay upon - my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed from side to side; - and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed. - </p> - <p> - God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The gulf, - it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two bridges crossing it - that both sloped upwards. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Is there no other way by which men cross it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards.” - </p> - <p> - I asked God what the bridges’ names were. - </p> - <p> - God said, “What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the - Beautiful, if you will—you will yet not understand them.” - </p> - <p> - I asked God how it was I could not see the third. - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is seen only by those who climb it.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Do they all lead to one heaven?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “All Heaven is one: nevertheless some parts are higher than - others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the - lower; but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the - higher; nevertheless the light is all one.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw over the bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other, - countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it. - </p> - <p> - God said, “It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God - how it was. - </p> - <p> - He said, “No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, - when they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there is - no land beyond.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “Has none ever returned?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “No; once in Heaven always in Heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors—for - Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open—the posts rose - up so high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there - were any. - </p> - <p> - And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be - engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell.” - </p> - <p> - And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every - hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks - and stones. I asked God how it was. - </p> - <p> - But God did not answer me. - </p> - <p> - I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be otherwise. And - after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, and - I asked God if the sun were not going to rise. - </p> - <p> - God said, “No; we are coming to where the people are.” - </p> - <p> - And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning day; - and on the rock were flowers blooming, and trees blossomed at the - roadside; and streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds - singing; I asked God where they were. - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is the people calling to one another.” - </p> - <p> - And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they walked. - I asked God how it was they wore no covering. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover any - part.” - </p> - <p> - And I asked God what they were doing. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Shining on the plants that they may grow.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw that some were working in companies, and some alone, but most - were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally - there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was. - </p> - <p> - God said, “When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most - perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless, - there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many - kinds of light.” - </p> - <p> - And one from among the people came running towards me; and when he came - near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were little - children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told God what I - felt; God said, “All men feel so in Heaven when another comes towards - them.” - </p> - <p> - And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright - lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his companion - answered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She said, “He must - have water”; and she took some in her hands, and fed me (I had been afraid - to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered fruit for me, and gave - it me to eat. They said, “We shone long to make it ripen,” and they - laughed together as they saw me eat it. - </p> - <p> - The man said, “He is very weary; he must sleep” (for I had not dared to - sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his companion’s knee and spread her - hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought I heard - the birds calling across me. And when I woke it was like early morning, - with the dew on everything. - </p> - <p> - And the man took my hand and led me to a hidden spot among the rocks. The - ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and there - was a little stream running. He said, “This is a garden we are making, no - one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the ground has cracked - with our shining, and this little stream is bursting out. See, the flowers - are growing.” - </p> - <p> - And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers with - dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my hands - shone as I held them. He said, “This garden is for all when it is - finished.” And he went away to his companion, and I went out into the - great pathway. - </p> - <p> - And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And - when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows - were standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter - than anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said, - “Hush! Our singing bird.” - </p> - <p> - And I asked why the eyes shone so. - </p> - <p> - And he said, “They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone - so.” - </p> - <p> - And the people gathered closer round him. - </p> - <p> - And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees of - light with great laughter. When they came close I saw they carried one - without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so bright - that I could not look at them. - </p> - <p> - And I said to one, “What is it?” - </p> - <p> - He answered, “This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and - feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the - maimed stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in - Heaven. We pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat. No - one is allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all;” and they went on - among the trees. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “This is a strange land. I had thought blindness and - maimedness were great evils. Here men make them to a rejoicing.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!” - </p> - <p> - And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand. I said to - God, “Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have - dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again. I will stay here - and shine.” And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as - others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light. I - said to God, “How is it?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against - none?” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Yes—“; and I thought—“Now is the time when I will - tell God, that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly - my fellow-men have treated me. How they have misunderstood me. How I have - intended to be magnanimous and generous to them, and they—.” And I - began to tell God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering - under my breath, and I was silent. - </p> - <p> - And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my mantle about me and - followed him. - </p> - <p> - And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at last - to a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the clouds. - And on its side I saw men working; and they picked at the earth with huge - picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily. And some laboured in - companies, but most laboured singly. And I saw the drops of sweat fall - from their foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out with labour. - And I said, “I had not thought in heaven to see men labour so!” And I - thought of the garden where men sang and loved, and I wondered that any - should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side. And I saw upon the - foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the drops which fell from - them as they worked had light. - </p> - <p> - And I asked God what they were seeking for. - </p> - <p> - And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small stones, - which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that the light - of the stones and the light on the men’s foreheads was the same. And I saw - that when one found a stone he passed it on to his fellow, and he to - another, and he to another. No man kept the stone he found. And at times - they gathered in great company about when a large stone was found, and - raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then they worked on again. - </p> - <p> - And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last. Then God - touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my very - feet was a mighty crown. The light streamed out from it. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Each stone as they find it is set here.” - </p> - <p> - And the crown was wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern - ran through all, yet each part was different. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How does each man know where to set his stone, so that the - pattern is worked out?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because in the light his forehead sheds each man sees faintly - outlined that full crown.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to - its fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “The stones are alive; they grow.” - </p> - <p> - And I said, “But what does each man gain by his working?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “He sees his outline filled.” - </p> - <p> - I said, “But those stones which are last set cover those which were first; - and those will again be covered by those which come later.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “They are covered, but not hid. The light is the light of all. - Without the first, no last.” - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “When will this crown be ended?” - </p> - <p> - And God said, “Look up!” - </p> - <p> - I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its summit I could - not see; it was lost in the clouds. - </p> - <p> - God said no more. - </p> - <p> - And I looked at the crown: then a longing seized me. Like the passion of a - mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of a friend - for the friend whom life has buried; like the hunger of dying eyes for a - life that is slipping; like the thirst of a soul for love at its first - spring waking, so, but fiercer was the longing in me. - </p> - <p> - I cried to God, “I too will work here; I too will set stones in the - wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand. And if it be that, - labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will be - with the men that labour here. I shall hear their shout of joy when each - stone is found; I shall join in their triumph, I shall shout among them; I - shall see the crown grow.” So great was my longing as I looked at the - crown, I thought a faint light fell from my forehead also. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?” - </p> - <p> - I said, “No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown.” And I was dumb with - longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing - there. And I ran forward, and threw my mantle on the earth and bent to - seize one of the mighty tools which lay there. I could not lift it from - the earth. - </p> - <p> - God said, “Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy - mantle.” - </p> - <p> - And I took up my mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked - back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved. - </p> - <p> - Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner. Not a tree or - plant was on the bare rocks, and the stillness was unbroken. My breath - came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips. I said to - God, “Is this Heaven?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Yes; it is the highest.” - </p> - <p> - And still we climbed. I said to God, “I cannot breathe so high.” - </p> - <p> - God said, “Because the air is pure?” - </p> - <p> - And my head grew dizzy, and as I climbed the blood burst from my - finger-tips. - </p> - <p> - Then we came out upon a lonely mountain-top. - </p> - <p> - No living being moved there; but far off on a solitary peak I saw a lonely - figure standing. Whether it were man or woman I could not tell; for partly - it seemed the figure of a woman, but its limbs were the mighty limbs of a - man. I asked God whether it was man or woman. - </p> - <p> - God said, “In the least Heaven sex reigns supreme; in the higher it is not - noticed; but in the highest it does not exist.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw the figure bend over its work, and labour mightily, but what it - laboured at I could not see. - </p> - <p> - I said to God, “How came it here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “By a bloody stair. Step by step it mounted from the lowest - Hell, and day by day as Hell grew farther and Heaven no nearer, it hung - alone between two worlds. Hour by hour in that bitter struggle its limbs - grew larger, till there fell from it rag by rag the garments which it - started with. Drops fell from its eyes as it strained them; each step it - climbed was wet with blood. Then it came out here.” - </p> - <p> - And I thought of the garden where men sang with their arms around one - another; and the mountain-side where they worked in company. And I - shuddered. - </p> - <p> - And I said, “Is it not terribly alone here?” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It is never alone!” - </p> - <p> - I said, “What has it for all its labour? I see nothing return to it.” - </p> - <p> - Then God touched my eyes, and I saw stretched out beneath us the plains of - Heaven and Hell, and all that was within them. - </p> - <p> - God said, “From that lone height on which he stands, all things are open. - To him is clear the shining in the garden, he sees the flower break forth - and the streams sparkle; no shout is raised upon the mountain-side but his - ear may hear it. He sees the crown grow and the light shoot from it. All - Hell is open to him. He sees the paths mount upwards. To him, Hell is the - seed ground from which Heaven springs. He sees the sap ascending.” - </p> - <p> - And I saw the figure bend over its work, and the light from its face fell - upon it. - </p> - <p> - And I said to God, “What is it making?” - </p> - <p> - And God said, “Music!” - </p> - <p> - And he touched my ears, and I heard it. - </p> - <p> - And after a long while I whispered to God, “This is Heaven.” - </p> - <p> - And God asked me why I was crying. But I could not answer for joy. - </p> - <p> - And the face turned from its work, and the light fell upon me. Then it - grew so bright I could not see things separately; and which were God, or - the man, or I, I could not tell; we were all blended. I cried to God, - “Where are you?” but there was no answer, only music and light. - </p> - <p> - Afterwards, when it had grown so dark again that I could see things - separately, I found that I was standing there wrapped tight in my little - old, brown, earthly cloak, and God and the man were separated from each - other, and from me. - </p> - <p> - I did not dare say I would go and make music beside the man. I knew I - could not reach even to his knee, nor move the instrument he played. But I - thought I would stand there on my little peak and sing an accompaniment to - that great music. And I tried; but my voice failed. It piped and quavered. - I could not sing that tune. I was silent. - </p> - <p> - Then God pointed to me, that I should go out of Heaven. - </p> - <p> - And I cried to God, “Oh, let me stay here! If indeed it be, as I know it - is, that I am not great enough to sing upon the mountain, nor strong - enough to labour on its side, nor bright enough to shine and love within - the garden, at least let me go down to the great gateway; humbly I will - kneel there sweeping; and, as the saved pass in, I will see the light upon - their faces. I shall hear the singing in the garden, and the shout upon - the hillside—” - </p> - <p> - God said, “It may not be;” he pointed. - </p> - <p> - And I cried, “If I may not stay in Heaven, then let me go down to Hell, - and I will grasp the hands of men and women there; and slowly, holding one - another’s hands, we will work our way upwards.” - </p> - <p> - Still God pointed. - </p> - <p> - And I threw myself upon the earth and cried, “Earth is so small, so mean! - It is not meet a soul should see Heaven and be cast out again!” - </p> - <p> - And God laid his hand on me, and said, “Go back to earth: that which you - seek is there.” - </p> - <p> - I awoke: it was morning. The silence and darkness of the night were gone. - Through my narrow attic window I saw the light of another day. I closed my - eyes and turned towards the wall: I could not look upon the dull grey - world. - </p> - <p> - In the streets below, men and women streamed past by hundreds; I heard the - beat of their feet on the pavement. Men on their way to business; servants - on errands; boys hurrying to school; weary professors pacing slowly the - old street; prostitutes, men and women, dragging their feet wearily after - last night’s debauch; artists with quick, impatient footsteps; tradesmen - for orders; children to seek for bread. I heard the stream beat by. And at - the alley’s mouth, at the street corner, a broken barrel-organ was - playing; sometimes it quavered and almost stopped, then went on again, - like a broken human voice. - </p> - <p> - I listened: my heart scarcely moved; it was as cold as lead. I could not - bear the long day before me; and I tried to sleep again; yet still I heard - the feet upon the pavement. And suddenly I heard them cry loud as they - beat, “We are seeking!—we are seeking!—we are seeking!” and - the broken barrel-organ at the street corner sobbed, “The Beautiful!—the - Beautiful!—the Beautiful!” And my heart, which had been dead, cried - out with every throb, “Love!—Truth!—the Beautiful!—the - Beautiful!” It was the music I had heard in Heaven that I could not sing - there. - </p> - <p> - And fully I awoke. - </p> - <p> - Upon the faded quilt, across my bed a long yellow streak of pale London - sunlight was lying. It fell through my narrow attic window. - </p> - <p> - I laughed. I rose. - </p> - <p> - I was glad the long day was before me. - </p> - <p> - Paris and London. - </p> - <p> - <<br /><br /><br /><br /> - </p> - <div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1439 ***</div> -</body> -</html> diff --git a/old/old/drmos10.txt b/old/old/drmos10.txt deleted file mode 100644 index f44d117..0000000 --- a/old/old/drmos10.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2681 +0,0 @@ -***The Project Gutenberg Etext of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner*** -#2 in our series by Olive Schreiner - - -Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check -the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! - -Please take a look at the important information in this header. -We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an -electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. - - -**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** - -**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** - -*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* - -Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and -further information is included below. We need your donations. - - -Dreams - -by Olive Schreiner - -August, 1998 [Etext #1439] - - -***The Project Gutenberg Etext of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner*** -******This file should be named drmos10.txt or drmos10.zip***** - -Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, drmos11.txt -VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, drmos10a.txt - -This etext was prepared by Sue Asscher <asschers@aia.net.au> - -Project Gutenberg Etexts are usually created from multiple editions, -all of which are in the Public Domain in the United States, unless a -copyright notice is included. Therefore, we do NOT keep these books -in compliance with any particular paper edition, usually otherwise. - -We are now trying to release all our books one month in advance -of the official release dates, for time for better editing. - -Please note: neither this list nor its contents are final till -midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. -The official release date of all Project Gutenberg Etexts is at -Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A -preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment -and editing by those who wish to do so. To be sure you have an -up to date first edition [xxxxx10x.xxx] please check file sizes -in the first week of the next month. Since our ftp program has -a bug in it that scrambles the date [tried to fix and failed] a -look at the file size will have to do, but we will try to see a -new copy has at least one byte more or less. - -Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) - -We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The -fifty hours is one conservative estimate for how long it we take -to get any etext selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright -searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. This -projected audience is one hundred million readers. If our value -per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 -million dollars per hour this year as we release thirty-two text -files per month, or 384 more Etexts in 1998 for a total of 1500+ -If these reach just 10% of the computerized population, then the -total should reach over 150 billion Etexts given away. - -The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away One Trillion Etext -Files by the December 31, 2001. [10,000 x 100,000,000=Trillion] -This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, -which is only 10% of the present number of computer users. 2001 -should have at least twice as many computer users as that, so it -will require us reaching less than 5% of the users in 2001. - -We need your donations more than ever! - -All donations should be made to "Project Gutenberg/CMU": and are -tax deductible to the extent allowable by law. (CMU = Carnegie- -Mellon University). - -For these and other matters, please mail to: - -Project Gutenberg -P. O. Box 2782 -Champaign, IL 61825 - -When all other email fails try our Executive Director: -Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> - -We would prefer to send you this information by email -(Internet, Bitnet, Compuserve, ATTMAIL or MCImail). - -****** -If you have an FTP program (or emulator), please -FTP directly to the Project Gutenberg archives: -[Mac users, do NOT point and click. . .type] - -ftp uiarchive.cso.uiuc.edu -login: anonymous -password: your@login -cd etext/etext90 through /etext96 -or cd etext/articles [get suggest gut for more information] -dir [to see files] -get or mget [to get files. . .set bin for zip files] -GET INDEX?00.GUT -for a list of books -and -GET NEW GUT for general information -and -MGET GUT* for newsletters. - -**Information prepared by the Project Gutenberg legal advisor** -(Three Pages) - -***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS**START*** -Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. -They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with -your copy of this etext, even if you got it for free from -someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our -fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement -disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how -you can distribute copies of this etext if you want to. - -*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS ETEXT -By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -etext, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept -this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive -a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this etext by -sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person -you got it from. If you received this etext on a physical -medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. - -ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM ETEXTS -This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG- -tm etexts, is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor -Michael S. Hart through the Project Gutenberg Association at -Carnegie-Mellon University (the "Project"). Among other -things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright -on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and -distribute it in the United States without permission and -without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth -below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this etext -under the Project's "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. - -To create these etexts, the Project expends considerable -efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain -works. Despite these efforts, the Project's etexts and any -medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other -things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged -disk or other etext medium, a computer virus, or computer -codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. - -LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES -But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, -[1] the Project (and any other party you may receive this -etext from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext) disclaims all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including -legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR -UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, -INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE -OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE -POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. - -If you discover a Defect in this etext within 90 days of -receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) -you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that -time to the person you received it from. If you received it -on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and -such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement -copy. If you received it electronically, such person may -choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to -receive it electronically. - -THIS ETEXT IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS -TO THE ETEXT OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A -PARTICULAR PURPOSE. - -Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or -the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the -above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you -may have other legal rights. - -INDEMNITY -You will indemnify and hold the Project, its directors, -officers, members and agents harmless from all liability, cost -and expense, including legal fees, that arise directly or -indirectly from any of the following that you do or cause: -[1] distribution of this etext, [2] alteration, modification, -or addition to the etext, or [3] any Defect. - -DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" -You may distribute copies of this etext electronically, or by -disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this -"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, -or: - -[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this - requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the - etext or this "small print!" statement. You may however, - if you wish, distribute this etext in machine readable - binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, - including any form resulting from conversion by word pro- - cessing or hypertext software, but only so long as - *EITHER*: - - [*] The etext, when displayed, is clearly readable, and - does *not* contain characters other than those - intended by the author of the work, although tilde - (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may - be used to convey punctuation intended by the - author, and additional characters may be used to - indicate hypertext links; OR - - [*] The etext may be readily converted by the reader at - no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent - form by the program that displays the etext (as is - the case, for instance, with most word processors); - OR - - [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at - no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the - etext in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC - or other equivalent proprietary form). - -[2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this - "Small Print!" statement. - -[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Project of 20% of the - net profits you derive calculated using the method you - already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you - don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are - payable to "Project Gutenberg Association/Carnegie-Mellon - University" within the 60 days following each - date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) - your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. - -WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? -The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, -scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty -free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution -you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg -Association / Carnegie-Mellon University". - -*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* - - - - - -This etext was prepared by Sue Asscher <asschers@aia.net.au> - - - - - -Dreams - -by - -Olive Schreiner - - -To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of that which for us -is yet sight, not touch. - - -Note. - -These Dreams are printed in the order in which they were written. - -In the case of two there was a lapse of some years between the writing of -the first and last parts; these are placed according to the date of the -first part. - -Olive Schreiner. - -Matjesfontein, -Cape Colony, -South Africa. -November, 1890. - - - -CONTENTS. - -I. The Lost Joy. - -II. The Hunter (From "The Story of of an African Farm"). - -III. The Gardens of Pleasure. - -IV. In a Far-off World. - -V. Three Dreams in a Desert. - -VI. A Dream of Wild Bees (Written as a letter to a friend). - -VII. In a Ruined Chapel. - -VIII. Life's Gifts. - -IX. The Artist's Secret. - -X. "I Thought I Stood." - -XI. The Sunlight Lay across My Bed. - - - - -I. THE LOST JOY. - -All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat. - -All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face -looked out across the water. She was waiting--she was waiting; but she -could not tell for what. - -All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the -pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her -eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee and -fell asleep, waiting still. - -Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore--Life -awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed -through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of -Love--and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting. - -And Love drew Life up to him. - -And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful--Joy, First-Joy was -it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water is not so -glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun's first -kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was so warm, so -soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the sunshine: and Love -and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it to the other, but deep -in its own heart each said, "It shall be ours for ever." - -Then there came a time--was it after weeks? was it after months? (Love and -Life do not measure time)--when the thing was not as it had been. - -Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with purple -berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the little eyes -looked out heavily across the water. - -And Life and Love dared not look into each other's eyes, dared not say, -"What ails our darling?" Each heart whispered to itself, "It is nothing, -it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear." But tomorrow and -tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but -heavily, more heavily. - -One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it was gone: -only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with wide-open eyes, -very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked apart, weeping -bitterly, "Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no more for ever?" - -The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of each, -and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between them. -And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected in its -soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, "I am weary, I am -weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark is all -before," a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon the hill- -sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always the little -brave mouth was smiling quietly. - -When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his -garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the -desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over the -hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert found -water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love's lips with. He was no -burden--he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on their -journey. - -When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the rocks-- -for Love and Life must pass through strange drear places--there, where all -is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands and held -them against his beating little heart, and warmed them--and softly he drew -them on and on. - -And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers, strangely -the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face. Brightly -laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the hollow tree; -and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them water in the -leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them round their -heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as their Joy had -touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly. - -So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with that -little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered that -first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, "Oh! could we but find him -also!" - -At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who has -always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who steals -light out of the past to shed it on the future. - -And Life and Love cried out, "O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a -lovely radiant thing belonged to us--gladness without a tear, sunshine -without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall we go -that we may find it?" - -And she, the wise old woman, answered, "To have it back, will you give up -that which walks beside you now?" - -And in agony Love and Life cried, "No!" - -"Give up this!" said Life. "When the thorns have pierced me, who will suck -the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands upon it -and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm my freezing -heart?" - -And Love cried out, "Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without -this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!" - -And the wise old woman answered, "O fools and blind! What you once had is -that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant thing is -born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when the shades -begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold and long--then -it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL not know it--till -one day they start up suddenly, crying, 'O God! O God! we have lost it! -Where is it?' They do not understand that they could not carry the -laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost, and the snow. -They do not know that what walks beside them still is the Joy grown older. -The grave, sweet, tender thing--warm in the coldest snows, brave in the -dreariest deserts--its name is Sympathy; it is the Perfect Love." - -South Africa. - - - -II. THE HUNTER. - -In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for -wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores of -a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming of the -birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a reflection. -He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a burning desire -came over him to see once again that reflection in the water, and all day -he watched and waited; but night came and it had not returned. Then he -went home with his empty bag, moody and silent. His comrades came -questioning about him to know the reason, but he answered them nothing; he -sat alone and brooded. Then his friend came to him, and to him he spoke. - -"I have seen today," he said, "that which I never saw before--a vast white -bird, with silver wings outstretched, sailing in the everlasting blue. And -now it is as though a great fire burnt within my breast. It was but a -sheen, a shimmer, a reflection in the water; but now I desire nothing more -on earth than to hold her." - -His friend laughed. - -"It was but a beam playing on the water, or the shadow of your own head. -Tomorrow you will forget her," he said. - -But tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow the hunter walked alone. He -sought in the forest and in the woods, by the lakes and among the rushes, -but he could not find her. He shot no more wild fowl; what were they to -him? - -"What ails him?" said his comrades. - -"He is mad," said one. - -"No; but he is worse," said another; "he would see that which none of us -have seen, and make himself a wonder." - -"Come, let us forswear his company," said all. - -So the hunter walked alone. - -One night, as he wandered in the shade, very heartsore and weeping, an old -man stood before him, grander and taller than the sons of men. - -"Who are you?" asked the hunter. - -"I am Wisdom," answered the old man; "but some men call me Knowledge. All -my life I have grown in these valleys; but no man sees me till he has -sorrowed much. The eyes must be washed with tears that are to behold me; -and, according as a man has suffered, I speak." - -And the hunter cried: - -"Oh, you who have lived here so long, tell me, what is that great wild bird -I have seen sailing in the blue? They would have me believe she is a -dream; the shadow of my own head." - -The old man smiled. - -"Her name is Truth. He who has once seen her never rests again. Till -death he desires her." - -And the hunter cried: - -"Oh, tell me where I may find her." - -But the old man said: - -"You have not suffered enough," and went. - -Then the hunter took from his breast the shuttle of Imagination, and wound -on it the thread of his Wishes; and all night he sat and wove a net. - -In the morning he spread the golden net upon the ground, and into it he -threw a few grains of credulity, which his father had left him, and which -he kept in his breast-pocket. They were like white puff-balls, and when -you trod on them a brown dust flew out. Then he sat by to see what would -happen. The first that came into the net was a snow-white bird, with -dove's eyes, and he sang a beautiful song--"A human-God! a human-God! a -human-God!" it sang. The second that came was black and mystical, with -dark, lovely eyes, that looked into the depths of your soul, and he sang -only this--"Immortality!" - -And the hunter took them both in his arms, for he said-- - -"They are surely of the beautiful family of Truth." - -Then came another, green and gold, who sang in a shrill voice, like one -crying in the marketplace,--"Reward after Death! Reward after Death!" - -And he said-- - -"You are not so fair; but you are fair too," and he took it. - -And others came, brightly coloured, singing pleasant songs, till all the -grains were finished. And the hunter gathered all his birds together, and -built a strong iron cage called a new creed, and put all his birds in it. - -Then the people came about dancing and singing. - -"Oh, happy hunter!" they cried. "Oh, wonderful man! Oh, delightful birds! -Oh, lovely songs!" - -No one asked where the birds had come from, nor how they had been caught; -but they danced and sang before them. And the hunter too was glad, for he -said: - -"Surely Truth is among them. In time she will moult her feathers, and I -shall see her snow-white form." - -But the time passed, and the people sang and danced; but the hunter's heart -grew heavy. He crept alone, as of old, to weep; the terrible desire had -awakened again in his breast. One day, as he sat alone weeping, it chanced -that Wisdom met him. He told the old man what he had done. - -And Wisdom smiled sadly. - -"Many men," he said, "have spread that net for Truth; but they have never -found her. On the grains of credulity she will not feed; in the net of -wishes her feet cannot be held; in the air of these valleys she will not -breathe. The birds you have caught are of the brood of Lies. Lovely and -beautiful, but still lies; Truth knows them not." - -And the hunter cried out in bitterness-- - -"And must I then sit still, to be devoured of this great burning?" - -And the old man said, - -"Listen, and in that you have suffered much and wept much, I will tell you -what I know. He who sets out to search for Truth must leave these valleys -of superstition forever, taking with him not one shred that has belonged to -them. Alone he must wander down into the Land of Absolute Negation and -Denial; he must abide there; he must resist temptation; when the light -breaks he must arise and follow it into the country of dry sunshine. The -mountains of stern reality will rise before him; he must climb them; beyond -them lies Truth." - -"And he will hold her fast! he will hold her in his hands!" the hunter -cried. - -Wisdom shook his head. - -"He will never see her, never hold her. The time is not yet." - -"Then there is no hope?" cried the hunter. - -"There is this," said Wisdom: "Some men have climbed on those mountains; -circle above circle of bare rock they have scaled; and, wandering there, in -those high regions, some have chanced to pick up on the ground one white -silver feather, dropped from the wing of Truth. And it shall come to -pass," said the old man, raising himself prophetically and pointing with -his finger to the sky, "it shall come to pass, that when enough of those -silver feathers shall have been gathered by the hands of men, and shall -have been woven into a cord, and the cord into a net, that in that net -Truth may be captured. Nothing but Truth can hold Truth." - -The hunter arose. "I will go," he said. - -But wisdom detained him. - -"Mark you well--who leaves these valleys never returns to them. Though he -should weep tears of blood seven days and nights upon the confines, he can -never put his foot across them. Left--they are left forever. Upon the -road which you would travel there is no reward offered. Who goes, goes -freely--for the great love that is in him. The work is his reward." - -"I go" said the hunter; "but upon the mountains, tell me, which path shall -I take?" - -"I am the child of The-Accumulated-Knowledge-of-Ages," said the man; "I can -walk only where many men have trodden. On these mountains few feet have -passed; each man strikes out a path for himself. He goes at his own peril: -my voice he hears no more. I may follow after him, but cannot go before -him." - -Then Knowledge vanished. - -And the hunter turned. He went to his cage, and with his hands broke down -the bars, and the jagged iron tore his flesh. It is sometimes easier to -build than to break. - -One by one he took his plumed birds and let them fly. But when he came to -his dark-plumed bird he held it, and looked into its beautiful eyes, and -the bird uttered its low, deep cry--"Immortality!" - -And he said quickly: "I cannot part with it. It is not heavy; it eats no -food. I will hide it in my breast; I will take it with me." And he buried -it there and covered it over with his cloak. - -But the thing he had hidden grew heavier, heavier, heavier--till it lay on -his breast like lead. He could not move with it. He could not leave those -valleys with it. Then again he took it out and looked at it. - -"Oh, my beautiful! my heart's own!" he cried, "may I not keep you?" - -He opened his hands sadly. - -"Go!" he said. "It may happen that in Truth's song one note is like yours; -but I shall never hear it." - -Sadly he opened his hand, and the bird flew from him forever. - -Then from the shuttle of Imagination he took the thread of his wishes, and -threw it on the ground; and the empty shuttle he put into his breast, for -the thread was made in those valleys, but the shuttle came from an unknown -country. He turned to go, but now the people came about him, howling. - -"Fool, hound, demented lunatic!" they cried. "How dared you break your -cage and let the birds fly?' - -The hunter spoke; but they would not hear him. - -"Truth! who is she? Can you eat her? can you drink her? Who has ever seen -her? Your birds were real: all could hear them sing! Oh, fool! vile -reptile! atheist!" they cried, "you pollute the air." - -"Come, let us take up stones and stone him," cried some. - -"What affair is it of ours?" said others. "Let the idiot go," and went -away. But the rest gathered up stones and mud and threw at him. At last, -when he was bruised and cut, the hunter crept away into the woods. And it -was evening about him. - -He wandered on and on, and the shade grew deeper. He was on the borders -now of the land where it is always night. Then he stepped into it, and -there was no light there. With his hands he groped; but each branch as he -touched it broke off, and the earth was covered with cinders. At every step -his foot sank in, and a fine cloud of impalpable ashes flew up into his -face; and it was dark. So he sat down upon a stone and buried his face in -his hands, to wait in the Land of Negation and Denial till the light came. - -And it was night in his heart also. - -Then from the marshes to his right and left cold mists arose and closed -about him. A fine, imperceptible rain fell in the dark, and great drops -gathered on his hair and clothes. His heart beat slowly, and a numbness -crept through all his limbs. Then, looking up, two merry wisp lights came -dancing. He lifted his head to look at them. Nearer, nearer they came. -So warm, so bright, they danced like stars of fire. They stood before him -at last. From the centre of the radiating flame in one looked out a -woman's face, laughing, dimpled, with streaming yellow hair. In the centre -of the other were merry laughing ripples, like the bubbles on a glass of -wine. They danced before him. - -"Who are you," asked the hunter, "who alone come to me in my solitude and -darkness?" - -"We are the twins Sensuality," they cried. "Our father's name is Human- -Nature, and our mother's name is Excess. We are as old as the hills and -rivers, as old as the first man; but we never die," they laughed. - -"Oh, let me wrap my arms about you!" cried the first; "they are soft and -warm. Your heart is frozen now, but I will make it beat. Oh, come to me!" - -"I will pour my hot life into you," said the second; "your brain is numb, -and your limbs are dead now; but they shall live with a fierce free life. -Oh, let me pour it in!" - -"Oh, follow us," they cried, "and live with us. Nobler hearts than yours -have sat here in this darkness to wait, and they have come to us and we to -them; and they have never left us, never. All else is a delusion, but we -are real, we are real, we are real. Truth is a shadow; the valleys of -superstition are a farce: the earth is of ashes, the trees all rotten; but -we--feel us--we live! You cannot doubt us. Feel us how warm we are! Oh, -come to us! Come with us!" - -Nearer and nearer round his head they hovered, and the cold drops melted on -his forehead. The bright light shot into his eyes, dazzling him, and the -frozen blood began to run. And he said: - -"Yes, why should I die here in this awful darkness? They are warm, they -melt my frozen blood!" and he stretched out his hands to take them. - -Then in a moment there arose before him the image of the thing he had -loved, and his hand dropped to his side. - -"Oh, come to us!" they cried. - -But he buried his face. - -"You dazzle my eyes," he cried, "you make my heart warm; but you cannot -give me what I desire. I will wait here--wait till I die. Go!" - -He covered his face with his hands and would not listen; and when he looked -up again they were two twinkling stars, that vanished in the distance. - -And the long, long night rolled on. - -All who leave the valley of superstition pass through that dark land; but -some go through it in a few days, some linger there for months, some for -years, and some die there. - -At last for the hunter a faint light played along the horizon, and he rose -to follow it; and he reached that light at last, and stepped into the broad -sunshine. Then before him rose the almighty mountains of Dry-facts and -Realities. The clear sunshine played on them, and the tops were lost in -the clouds. At the foot many paths ran up. An exultant cry burst from the -hunter. He chose the straightest and began to climb; and the rocks and -ridges resounded with his song. They had exaggerated; after all, it was -not so high, nor was the road so steep! A few days, a few weeks, a few -months at most, and then the top! Not one feather only would he pick up; -he would gather all that other men had found--weave the net--capture Truth- --hold her fast--touch her with his hands--clasp her! - -He laughed in the merry sunshine, and sang loud. Victory was very near. -Nevertheless, after a while the path grew steeper. He needed all his -breath for climbing, and the singing died away. On the right and left rose -huge rocks, devoid of lichen or moss, and in the lava-like earth chasms -yawned. Here and there he saw a sheen of white bones. Now too the path -began to grow less and less marked; then it became a mere trace, with a -footmark here and there; then it ceased altogether. He sang no more, but -struck forth a path for himself, until it reached a mighty wall of rock, -smooth and without break, stretching as far as the eye could see. "I will -rear a stair against it; and, once this wall climbed, I shall be almost -there," he said bravely; and worked. With his shuttle of imagination he -dug out stones; but half of them would not fit, and half a month's work -would roll down because those below were ill chosen. But the hunter worked -on, saying always to himself, "Once this wall climbed, I shall be almost -there. This great work ended!" - -At last he came out upon the top, and he looked about him. Far below -rolled the white mist over the valleys of superstition, and above him -towered the mountains. They had seemed low before; they were of an -immeasurable height now, from crown to foundation surrounded by walls of -rock, that rose tier above tier in mighty circles. Upon them played the -eternal sunshine. He uttered a wild cry. He bowed himself on to the -earth, and when he rose his face was white. In absolute silence he walked -on. He was very silent now. In those high regions the rarefied air is -hard to breathe by those born in the valleys; every breath he drew hurt -him, and the blood oozed out from the tips of his fingers. Before the next -wall of rock he began to work. The height of this seemed infinite, and he -said nothing. The sound of his tool rang night and day upon the iron rocks -into which he cut steps. Years passed over him, yet he worked on; but the -wall towered up always above him to heaven. Sometimes he prayed that a -little moss or lichen might spring up on those bare walls to be a companion -to him; but it never came. - -And the years rolled on; he counted them by the steps he had cut--a few for -a year--only a few. He sang no more; he said no more, "I will do this or -that"--he only worked. And at night, when the twilight settled down, there -looked out at him from the holes and crevices in the rocks strange wild -faces. - -"Stop your work, you lonely man, and speak to us," they cried. - -"My salvation is in work, if I should stop but for one moment you would -creep down upon me," he replied. And they put out their long necks -further. - -"Look down into the crevice at your feet," they said. "See what lie there- --white bones! As brave and strong a man as you climbed to these rocks." -And he looked up. He saw there was no use in striving; he would never hold -Truth, never see her, never find her. So he lay down here, for he was very -tired. He went to sleep forever. He put himself to sleep. Sleep is very -tranquil. You are not lonely when you are asleep, neither do your hands -ache, nor your heart. And the hunter laughed between his teeth. - -"Have I torn from my heart all that was dearest; have I wandered alone in -the land of night; have I resisted temptation; have I dwelt where the voice -of my kind is never heard, and laboured alone, to lie down and be food for -you, ye harpies?" - -He laughed fiercely; and the Echoes of Despair slunk away, for the laugh of -a brave, strong heart is as a death blow to them. - -Nevertheless they crept out again and looked at him. - -"Do you know that your hair is white?" they said, "that your hands begin to -tremble like a child's? Do you see that the point of your shuttle is -gone?--it is cracked already. If you should ever climb this stair," they -said, "it will be your last. You will never climb another." - -And he answered, "I know it!" and worked on. - -The old, thin hands cut the stones ill and jaggedly, for the fingers were -stiff and bent. The beauty and the strength of the man was gone. - -At last, an old, wizened, shrunken face looked out above the rocks. It saw -the eternal mountains rise with walls to the white clouds; but its work was -done. - -The old hunter folded his tired hands and lay down by the precipice where -he had worked away his life. It was the sleeping time at last. Below him -over the valleys rolled the thick white mist. Once it broke; and through -the gap the dying eyes looked down on the trees and fields of their -childhood. From afar seemed borne to him the cry of his own wild birds, -and he heard the noise of people singing as they danced. And he thought he -heard among them the voices of his old comrades; and he saw far off the -sunlight shine on his early home. And great tears gathered in the hunter's -eyes. - -"Ah! they who die there do not die alone," he cried. - -Then the mists rolled together again; and he turned his eyes away. - -"I have sought," he said, "for long years I have laboured; but I have not -found her. I have not rested, I have not repined, and I have not seen her; -now my strength is gone. Where I lie down worn out other men will stand, -young and fresh. By the steps that I have cut they will climb; by the -stairs that I have built they will mount. They will never know the name of -the man who made them. At the clumsy work they will laugh; when the stones -roll they will curse me. But they will mount, and on my work; they will -climb, and by my stair! They will find her, and through me! And no man -liveth to himself and no man dieth to himself." - -The tears rolled from beneath the shrivelled eyelids. If Truth had -appeared above him in the clouds now he could not have seen her, the mist -of death was in his eyes. - -"My soul hears their glad step coming," he said; "and they shall mount! -they shall mount!" He raised his shrivelled hand to his eyes. - -Then slowly from the white sky above, through the still air, came something -falling, falling, falling. Softly it fluttered down, and dropped on to the -breast of the dying man. He felt it with his hands. It was a feather. He -died holding it. - - - -III. THE GARDENS OF PLEASURE. - -She walked upon the beds, and the sweet rich scent arose; and she gathered -her hands full of flowers. Then Duty, with his white clear features, came -and looked at her. Then she ceased from gathering, but she walked away -among the flowers, smiling, and with her hands full. - -Then Duty, with his still white face, came again, and looked at her; but -she, she turned her head away from him. At last she saw his face, and she -dropped the fairest of the flowers she had held, and walked silently away. - -Then again he came to her. And she moaned, and bent her head low, and -turned to the gate. But as she went out she looked back at the sunlight on -the faces of the flowers, and wept in anguish. Then she went out, and it -shut behind her for ever; but still in her hand she held of the buds she -had gathered, and the scent was very sweet in the lonely desert. - -But he followed her. Once more he stood before her with his still, white, -death-like face. And she knew what he had come for: she unbent the -fingers, and let the flowers drop out, the flowers she had loved so, and -walked on without them, with dry, aching eyes. Then for the last time he -came. And she showed him her empty hands, the hands that held nothing now. -But still he looked. Then at length she opened her bosom and took out of -it one small flower she had hidden there, and laid it on the sand. She had -nothing more to give now, and she wandered away, and the grey sand whirled -about her. - - - -IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD. - -There is a world in one of the far-off stars, and things do not happen here -as they happen there. - -In that world were a man and woman; they had one work, and they walked -together side by side on many days, and were friends--and that is a thing -that happens now and then in this world also. - -But there was something in that star-world that there is not here. There -was a thick wood: where the trees grew closest, and the stems were -interlocked, and the summer sun never shone, there stood a shrine. In the -day all was quiet, but at night, when the stars shone or the moon glinted -on the tree-tops, and all was quiet below, if one crept here quite alone -and knelt on the steps of the stone altar, and uncovering one's breast, so -wounded it that the blood fell down on the altar steps, then whatever he -who knelt there wished for was granted him. And all this happens, as I -said, because it is a far-off world, and things often happen there as they -do not happen here. - -Now, the man and woman walked together; and the woman wished well to the -man. One night when the moon was shining so that the leaves of all the -trees glinted, and the waves of the sea were silvery, the woman walked -alone to the forest. It was dark there; the moonlight fell only in little -flecks on the dead leaves under her feet, and the branches were knotted -tight overhead. Farther in it got darker, not even a fleck of moonlight -shone. Then she came to the shrine; she knelt down before it and prayed; -there came no answer. Then she uncovered her breast; with a sharp two- -edged stone that lay there she wounded it. The drops dripped slowly down -on to the stone, and a voice cried, "What do you seek?" - -She answered, "There is a man; I hold him nearer than anything. I would -give him the best of all blessings." - -The voice said, "What is it?" - -The girl said, "I know not, but that which is most good for him I wish him -to have." - -The voice said, "Your prayer is answered; he shall have it." - -Then she stood up. She covered her breast and held the garment tight upon -it with her hand, and ran out of the forest, and the dead leaves fluttered -under her feet. Out in the moonlight the soft air was blowing, and the -sand glittered on the beach. She ran along the smooth shore, then suddenly -she stood still. Out across the water there was something moving. She -shaded her eyes and looked. It was a boat; it was sliding swiftly over the -moonlit water out to sea. One stood upright in it; the face the moonlight -did not show, but the figure she knew. It was passing swiftly; it seemed -as if no one propelled it; the moonlight's shimmer did not let her see -clearly, and the boat was far from shore, but it seemed almost as if there -was another figure sitting in the stern. Faster and faster it glided over -the water away, away. She ran along the shore; she came no nearer it. The -garment she had held closed fluttered open; she stretched out her arms, and -the moonlight shone on her long loose hair. - -Then a voice beside her whispered, "What is it?" - -She cried, "With my blood I bought the best of all gifts for him. I have -come to bring it him! He is going from me!" - -The voice whispered softly, "Your prayer was answered. It has been given -him." - -She cried, "What is it?" - -The voice answered, "It is that he might leave you." - -The girl stood still. - -Far out at sea the boat was lost to sight beyond the moonlight sheen. - -The voice spoke softly, "Art thou contented?" - -She said, "I am contented." - -At her feet the waves broke in long ripples softly on the shore. - - - -V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT. - -Under a Mimosa-Tree. - -As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then I -drew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him and -left him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to left -stretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the heat -beat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And after a -while a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down against my -saddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a curious dream. - -I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew about -everywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of burden of -the desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched out, and one -stood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay upon the ground, -for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was thick about it, so -that it seemed to have piled over it for centuries. - -And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me watching. -And I said to him, "What is this huge creature who lies here on the sand?" - -And he said, "This is woman; she that bears men in her body." - -And I said, "Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled round -her?" - -And he answered, "Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has lain -here, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest man -living has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that she -lay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But listen! -Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded memory of man, -on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of Ancient Customs, now -crumbling to decay, are found the marks of her footsteps! Side by side -with his who stands beside her you may trace them; and you know that she -who now lies there once wandered free over the rocks with him." - -And I said, "Why does she lie there now?" - -And he said, "I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-force -found her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her back -was broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it on with -the broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the earth and -the sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down on the sand -with the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has lain here. And -the ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band of Inevitable -Necessity has not been cut." - -And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries; -the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand. - -And I said, "Has she ever tried to move?" - -And he said, "Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knows -she cannot rise with the burden on her." - -And I said, "Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?" - -And he said, "He cannot. Look--" - -And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, and -it bound them together. - -He said, "While she lies there he must stand and look across the desert." - -And I said, "Does he know why he cannot move?" - -And he said, "No." - -And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the band -that bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden rolled -on to the ground. - -And I said, "What is this?" - -And he said, "The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The Age-of-nervous-force -has killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; and silently and -invisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that knife of Mechanical -Invention he has cut the band that bound the burden to her back. The -Inevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now." - -And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open and -her neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the far- -off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were awake -or asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came into her -eyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room. - -I said, "What is it?" - -He whispered "Hush! the thought has come to her, 'Might I not rise?'" - -And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dent -where her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and she -looked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he looked -out across the desert. - -And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth, -and veins stood out; and I cried; "She is going to rise!" - -But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was. - -But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside me -said, "She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her so -long." - -And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her. - -And I said, "Surely he who stands beside her will help her?" - -And he beside me answered, "He cannot help her: she must help herself. -Let her struggle till she is strong." - -And I cried, "At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther from -her, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down." - -And he answered, "He does not understand. When she moves she draws the -band that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. The -day will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing. -Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close to -her, and look into her eyes with sympathy." - -And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the creature -rose an inch from the earth and sank back. - -And I cried, "Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years have -taken all her strength from her. Can she never move?" - -And he answered me, "See the light in her eyes!" - -And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees. - -And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barren -earth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the red -sand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches of -the tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused over -the dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my saddle. -And in the fierce heat I had another dream. - -I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the -bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of an -African river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deep -shifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn its -gigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white beard; -and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written Reason. And -he asked her what she wanted; and she said "I am woman; and I am seeking -for the land of Freedom." - -And he said, "It is before you." - -And she said, "I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and a bank -steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in them." - -And he said, "And beyond that?" - -She said, "I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my hand, -I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun shining on -them!" - -He said, "That is the Land of Freedom." - -She said, "How am I to get there?" - -He said, "There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour, -through the water of Suffering. There is no other." - -She said, "Is there no bridge?" - -He answered. "None." - -She said, "Is the water deep?" - -He said, "Deep." - -She said, "Is the floor worn?" - -He said, "It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost." - -She said, "Have any crossed already?" - -He said, "Some have tried!" - -She said, "Is there a track to show where the best fording is?" - -He said, "It has to be made." - -She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, "I will go." - -And he said, "You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they -are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed." - -And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions she -wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from her -waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it in a -cloud. And he said, "Take the shoes of dependence off your feet." - -And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to -her. - -And he said, "That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land of -Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims." - -And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had -not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said, -"Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand -you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot find -a bottom do not set your foot." - -And she said, "I am ready; let me go." - -And he said, "No--but stay; what is that--in your breast?" - -She was silent. - -He said, "Open it, and let me see." - -And she opened it. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drank from -it, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; and his -knees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast with his hands. - -And Reason said, "Who is he, and what is he doing here?" - -And she said, "See his little wings--" - -And Reason said, "Put him down." - -And she said, "He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to the -Land of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried him. -In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together there, and -his great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one word only to -me in the desert--'Passion!' I have dreamed he might learn to say -'Friendship' in that land." - -And Reason said, "Put him down!" - -And she said, "I will carry him so--with one arm, and with the other I will -fight the water." - -He said, "Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you will -forget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down." He said, "He -will not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his wings -and fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who reach -the Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the bank to -help them shall be Love's. He will be a man then, not a child. In your -breast he cannot thrive; put him down that he may grow." - -And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her, so that the blood -ran down on to the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; and she -covered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the hair -on her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from youth to -age. - -And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, "For what do -I go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! I am -utterly alone!" - -And Reason, that old man, said to her, "Silence! What do you hear?" - -And she listened intently, and she said, "I hear a sound of feet, a -thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat this -way!" - -He said, "They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! make -a track to the water's edge! Where you stand now, the ground will be -beaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet." And he said, "Have -you seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down to the -water-edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and then another, -and then another, and at last with their bodies piled up a bridge is built -and the rest pass over." - -She said, "And, of those that come first, some are swept away, and are -heard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?" - -"And are swept away, and are heard of no more--and what of that?" he said. - -"And what of that--" she said. - -"They make a track to the water's edge." - -"They make a track to the water's edge--." And she said, "Over that bridge -which shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?" - -He said, "The entire human race." - -And the woman grasped her staff. - -And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river. - -And I awoke; and all about me was the yellow afternoon light: the sinking -sun lit up the fingers of the milk bushes; and my horse stood by me quietly -feeding. And I turned on my side, and I watched the ants run by thousands -in the red sand. I thought I would go on my way now--the afternoon was -cooler. Then a drowsiness crept over me again, and I laid back my head and -fell asleep. - -And I dreamed a dream. - -I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave men, -hand in hand. And they looked into each other's eyes, and they were not -afraid. - -And I saw the women also hold each other's hands. - -And I said to him beside me, "What place is this?" - -And he said, "This is heaven." - -And I said, "Where is it?" - -And he answered, "On earth." - -And I said, "When shall these things be?" - -And he answered, "IN THE FUTURE." - -And I awoke, and all about me was the sunset light; and on the low hills -the sun lay, and a delicious coolness had crept over everything; and the -ants were going slowly home. And I walked towards my horse, who stood -quietly feeding. Then the sun passed down behind the hills; but I knew -that the next day he would arise again. - - - -VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES. - -A mother sat alone at an open window. Through it came the voices of the -children as they played under the acacia-trees, and the breath of the hot -afternoon air. In and out of the room flew the bees, the wild bees, with -their legs yellow with pollen, going to and from the acacia-trees, droning -all the while. She sat on a low chair before the table and darned. She -took her work from the great basket that stood before her on the table: -some lay on her knee and half covered the book that rested there. She -watched the needle go in and out; and the dreary hum of the bees and the -noise of the children's voices became a confused murmur in her ears, as she -worked slowly and more slowly. Then the bees, the long-legged wasp-like -fellows who make no honey, flew closer and closer to her head, droning. -Then she grew more and more drowsy, and she laid her hand, with the -stocking over it, on the edge of the table, and leaned her head upon it. -And the voices of the children outside grew more and more dreamy, came now -far, now near; then she did not hear them, but she felt under her heart -where the ninth child lay. Bent forward and sleeping there, with the bees -flying about her head, she had a weird brain-picture; she thought the bees -lengthened and lengthened themselves out and became human creatures and -moved round and round her. Then one came to her softly, saying, "Let me -lay my hand upon thy side where the child sleeps. If I shall touch him he -shall be as I." - -She asked, "Who are you?" - -And he said, "I am Health. Whom I touch will have always the red blood -dancing in his veins; he will not know weariness nor pain; life will be a -long laugh to him." - -"No," said another, "let me touch; for I am Wealth. If I touch him -material care shall not feed on him. He shall live on the blood and sinews -of his fellow-men, if he will; and what his eye lusts for, his hand will -have. He shall not know 'I want.'" And the child lay still like lead. - -And another said, "Let me touch him: I am Fame. The man I touch, I lead -to a high hill where all men may see him. When he dies he is not -forgotten, his name rings down the centuries, each echoes it on to his -fellows. Think--not to be forgotten through the ages!" - -And the mother lay breathing steadily, but in the brain-picture they -pressed closer to her. - -"Let me touch the child," said one, "for I am Love. If I touch him he -shall not walk through life alone. In the greatest dark, when he puts out -his hand he shall find another hand by it. When the world is against him, -another shall say, 'You and I.'" And the child trembled. - -But another pressed close and said, "Let me touch; for I am Talent. I can -do all things--that have been done before. I touch the soldier, the -statesman, the thinker, and the politician who succeed; and the writer who -is never before his time, and never behind it. If I touch the child he -shall not weep for failure." - -About the mother's head the bees were flying, touching her with their long -tapering limbs; and, in her brain-picture, out of the shadow of the room -came one with sallow face, deep-lined, the cheeks drawn into hollows, and a -mouth smiling quiveringly. He stretched out his hand. And the mother drew -back, and cried, "Who are you?" He answered nothing; and she looked up -between his eyelids. And she said, "What can you give the child--health?" -And he said, "The man I touch, there wakes up in his blood a burning fever, -that shall lick his blood as fire. The fever that I will give him shall be -cured when his life is cured." - -"You give wealth?" - -He shook his head. "The man whom I touch, when he bends to pick up gold, -he sees suddenly a light over his head in the sky; while he looks up to see -it, the gold slips from between his fingers, or sometimes another passing -takes it from them." - -"Fame?" - -He answered, "likely not. For the man I touch there is a path traced out -in the sand by a finger which no man sees. That he must follow. Sometimes -it leads almost to the top, and then turns down suddenly into the valley. -He must follow it, though none else sees the tracing." - -"Love?" - -He said, "He shall hunger for it--but he shall not find it. When he -stretches out his arms to it, and would lay his heart against a thing he -loves, then, far off along the horizon he shall see a light play. He must -go towards it. The thing he loves will not journey with him; he must -travel alone. When he presses somewhat to his burning heart, crying, -'Mine, mine, my own!' he shall hear a voice--'Renounce! renounce! this is -not thine!'" - -"He shall succeed?" - -He said, "He shall fail. When he runs with others they shall reach the -goal before him. For strange voices shall call to him and strange lights -shall beckon him, and he must wait and listen. And this shall be the -strangest: far off across the burning sands where, to other men, there is -only the desert's waste, he shall see a blue sea! On that sea the sun -shines always, and the water is blue as burning amethyst, and the foam is -white on the shore. A great land rises from it, and he shall see upon the -mountain-tops burning gold." - -The mother said, "He shall reach it?" - -And he smiled curiously. - -She said, "It is real?" - -And he said, "What IS real?" - -And she looked up between his half-closed eyelids, and said, "Touch." - -And he leaned forward and laid his hand upon the sleeper, and whispered to -it, smiling; and this only she heard--"This shall be thy reward--that the -ideal shall be real to thee." - -And the child trembled; but the mother slept on heavily and her brain- -picture vanished. But deep within her the antenatal thing that lay here -had a dream. In those eyes that had never seen the day, in that half- -shaped brain was a sensation of light! Light--that it never had seen. -Light--that perhaps it never should see. Light--that existed somewhere! - -And already it had its reward: the Ideal was real to it. - -London. - - - -VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL. - -"I cannot forgive--I love." - -There are four bare walls; there is a Christ upon the walls, in red, -carrying his cross; there is a Blessed Bambino with the face rubbed out; -there is Madonna in blue and red; there are Roman soldiers and a Christ -with tied hands. All the roof is gone; overhead is the blue, blue Italian -sky; the rain has beaten holes in the walls, and the plaster is peeling -from it. The chapel stands here alone upon the promontory, and by day and -by night the sea breaks at its feet. Some say that it was set here by the -monks from the island down below, that they might bring their sick here in -times of deadly plague. Some say that it was set here that the passing -monks and friars, as they hurried by upon the roadway, might stop and say -their prayers here. Now no one stops to pray here, and the sick come no -more to be healed. - -Behind it runs the old Roman road. If you climb it and come and sit there -alone on a hot sunny day you may almost hear at last the clink of the Roman -soldiers upon the pavement, and the sound of that older time, as you sit -there in the sun, when Hannibal and his men broke through the brushwood, -and no road was. - -Now it is very quiet. Sometimes a peasant girl comes riding by between her -panniers, and you hear the mule's feet beat upon the bricks of the -pavement; sometimes an old woman goes past with a bundle of weeds upon her -head, or a brigand-looking man hurries by with a bundle of sticks in his -hand; but for the rest the Chapel lies here alone upon the promontory, -between the two bays and hears the sea break at its feet. - -I came here one winter's day when the midday sun shone hot on the bricks of -the Roman road. I was weary, and the way seemed steep. I walked into the -chapel to the broken window, and looked out across the bay. Far off, -across the blue, blue water, were towns and villages, hanging white and red -dots, upon the mountain-sides, and the blue mountains rose up into the sky, -and now stood out from it and now melted back again. - -The mountains seemed calling to me, but I knew there would never be a -bridge built from them to me; never, never, never! I shaded my eyes with -my hand and turned away. I could not bear to look at them. - -I walked through the ruined Chapel, and looked at the Christ in red -carrying his cross, and the Blessed rubbed-out Bambino, and the Roman -soldiers, and the folded hands, and the reed; and I went and sat down in -the open porch upon a stone. At my feet was the small bay, with its white -row of houses buried among the olive trees; the water broke in a long, -thin, white line of foam along the shore; and I leaned my elbows on my -knees. I was tired, very tired; tired with a tiredness that seemed older -than the heat of the day and the shining of the sun on the bricks of the -Roman road; and I lay my head upon my knees; I heard the breaking of the -water on the rocks three hundred feet below, and the rustling of the wind -among the olive trees and the ruined arches, and then I fell asleep there. -I had a dream. - -A man cried up to God, and God sent down an angel to help him; and the -angel came back and said, "I cannot help that man." - -God said, "How is it with him?" - -And the angel said, "He cries out continually that one has injured him; and -he would forgive him and he cannot." - -God said, "What have you done for him?" - -The angel said, "All--. I took him by the hand, and I said, 'See, when -other men speak ill of that man do you speak well of him; secretly, in ways -he shall not know, serve him; if you have anything you value share it with -him, so, serving him, you will at last come to feel possession in him, and -you will forgive.' And he said, 'I will do it.' Afterwards, as I passed -by in the dark of night, I heard one crying out, 'I have done all. It -helps nothing! My speaking well of him helps me nothing! If I share my -heart's blood with him, is the burning within me less? I cannot forgive; I -cannot forgive! Oh, God, I cannot forgive!' - -"I said to him, 'See here, look back on all your past. See from your -childhood all smallness, all indirectness that has been yours; look well at -it, and in its light do you not see every man your brother? Are you so -sinless you have right to hate?' - -"He looked, and said, 'Yes, you are right; I too have failed, and I forgive -my fellow. Go, I am satisfied; I have forgiven;' and he laid him down -peacefully and folded his hands on his breast, and I thought it was well -with him. But scarcely had my wings rustled and I turned to come up here, -when I heard one crying out on earth again, 'I cannot forgive! I cannot -forgive! Oh, God, God, I cannot forgive! It is better to die than to -hate! I cannot forgive! I cannot forgive!' And I went and stood outside -his door in the dark, and I heard him cry, 'I have not sinned so, not so! -If I have torn my fellows' flesh ever so little, I have kneeled down and -kissed the wound with my mouth till it was healed. I have not willed that -any soul shall be lost through hate of me. If they have but fancied that I -wronged them I have lain down on the ground before them that they might -tread on me, and so, seeing my humiliation, forgive and not be lost through -hating me; they have not cared that my soul should be lost; they have not -willed to save me; they have not tried that I should forgive them!' - -"I said to him, 'See here, be thou content; do not forgive: forget this -soul and its injury; go on your way. In the next world perhaps--' - -"He cried, 'Go from me, you understand nothing! What is the next world to -me! I am lost now, today. I cannot see the sunlight shine, the dust is in -my throat, the sand is in my eyes! Go from me, you know nothing! Oh, once -again before I die to see that the world is beautiful! Oh, God, God, I -cannot live and not love. I cannot live and hate. Oh, God, God, God!' So -I left him crying out and came back here." - -God said, "This man's soul must be saved." - -And the angel said "How?" - -God said, "Go down you, and save it." - -The angel said, "What more shall I do?" - -Then God bent down and whispered in the angel's ear, and the angel spread -out its wings and went down to earth. - -And partly I woke, sitting there upon the broken stone with my head on my -knee; but I was too weary to rise. I heard the wind roam through the olive -trees and among the ruined arches, and then I slept again. - -The angel went down and found the man with the bitter heart and took him by -the hand, and led him to a certain spot. - -Now the man wist not where it was the angel would take him nor what he -would show him there. And when they came the angel shaded the man's eyes -with his wing, and when he moved it the man saw somewhat on the earth -before them. For God had given it to that angel to unclothe a human soul; -to take from it all those outward attributes of form, and colour, and age, -and sex, whereby one man is known from among his fellows and is marked off -from the rest, and the soul lay before them, bare, as a man turning his eye -inwards beholds himself. - -They saw its past, its childhood, the tiny life with the dew upon it; they -saw its youth when the dew was melting, and the creature raised its -Lilliputian mouth to drink from a cup too large for it, and they saw how -the water spilt; they saw its hopes that were never realized; they saw its -hours of intellectual blindness, men call sin; they saw its hours of all- -radiating insight, which men call righteousness; they saw its hour of -strength, when it leaped to its feet crying, "I am omnipotent;" its hour of -weakness, when it fell to the earth and grasped dust only; they saw what it -might have been, but never would be. - -The man bent forward. - -And the angel said, "What is it?" - -He answered, "It is I! it is myself!" And he went forward as if he would -have lain his heart against it; but the angel held him back and covered his -eyes. - -Now God had given power to the angel further to unclothe that soul, to take -from it all those outward attributes of time and place and circumstance -whereby the individual life is marked off from the life of the whole. - -Again the angel uncovered the man's eyes, and he looked. He saw before him -that which in its tiny drop reflects the whole universe; he saw that which -marks within itself the step of the furthest star, and tells how the -crystal grows under ground where no eye has seen it; that which is where -the germ in the egg stirs; which moves the outstretched fingers of the -little newborn babe, and keeps the leaves of the trees pointing upward; -which moves where the jelly-fish sail alone on the sunny seas, and is where -the lichens form on the mountains' rocks. - -And the man looked. - -And the angel touched him. - -But the man bowed his head and shuddered. He whispered--"It is God!" - -And the angel re-covered the man's eyes. And when he uncovered them there -was one walking from them a little way off;--for the angel had re-clothed -the soul in its outward form and vesture--and the man knew who it was. - -And the angel said, "Do you know him?" - -And the man said, "I know him," and he looked after the figure. - -And the angel said, "Have you forgiven him?" - -But the man said, "How beautiful my brother is!" - -And the angel looked into the man's eyes, and he shaded his own face with -his wing from the light. He laughed softly and went up to God. - -But the men were together on earth. - -I awoke. - -The blue, blue sky was over my head, and the waves were breaking below on -the shore. I walked through the little chapel, and I saw the Madonna in -blue and red, and the Christ carrying his cross, and the Roman soldiers -with the rod, and the Blessed Bambino with its broken face; and then I -walked down the sloping rock to the brick pathway. The olive trees stood -up on either side of the road, their black berries and pale-green leaves -stood out against the sky; and the little ice-plants hung from the crevices -in the stone wall. It seemed to me as if it must have rained while I was -asleep. I thought I had never seen the heavens and the earth look so -beautiful before. I walked down the road. The old, old, old tiredness was -gone. - -Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she had -two large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the road -before me. - -I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and to -have held his hand--only, he would not have known why. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - -VIII. LIFE'S GIFTS. - -I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, and -held in each hand a gift--in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And she -said to the woman, "Choose!" - -And the woman waited long: and she said, "Freedom!" - -And Life said, "Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, 'Love,' I would -have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone from thee, -and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I shall return. -In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand." - -I heard the woman laugh in her sleep. - -London. - - - -IX. THE ARTIST'S SECRET. - -There was an artist once, and he painted a picture. Other artists had -colours richer and rarer, and painted more notable pictures. He painted -his with one colour, there was a wonderful red glow on it; and the people -went up and down, saying, "We like the picture, we like the glow." - -The other artists came and said, "Where does he get his colour from?" They -asked him; and he smiled and said, "I cannot tell you"; and worked on with -his head bent low. - -And one went to the far East and bought costly pigments, and made a rare -colour and painted, but after a time the picture faded. Another read in -the old books, and made a colour rich and rare, but when he had put it on -the picture it was dead. - -But the artist painted on. Always the work got redder and redder, and the -artist grew whiter and whiter. At last one day they found him dead before -his picture, and they took him up to bury him. The other men looked about -in all the pots and crucibles, but they found nothing they had not. - -And when they undressed him to put his grave-clothes on him, they found -above his left breast the mark of a wound--it was an old, old wound, that -must have been there all his life, for the edges were old and hardened; but -Death, who seals all things, had drawn the edges together, and closed it -up. - -And they buried him. And still the people went about saying, "Where did he -find his colour from?" - -And it came to pass that after a while the artist was forgotten--but the -work lived. - -St. Leonards-on-Sea. - - - -X. "I THOUGHT I STOOD." - -I thought I stood in Heaven before God's throne, and God asked me what I -had come for. I said I had come to arraign my brother, Man. - -God said, "What has he done?" - -I said, "He has taken my sister, Woman, and has stricken her, and wounded -her, and thrust her out into the streets; she lies there prostrate. His -hands are red with blood. I am here to arraign him; that the kingdom be -taken from him, because he is not worthy, and given unto me. My hands are -pure." - -I showed them. - -God said, "Thy hands are pure.--Lift up thy robe." - -I raised it; my feet were red, blood-red, as if I had trodden in wine. - -God said, "How is this?" - -I said, "Dear Lord, the streets on earth are full of mire. If I should -walk straight on in them my outer robe might be bespotted, you see how -white it is! Therefore I pick my way." - -God said, "On what?" - -I was silent, and I let my robe fall. I wrapped my mantle about my head. -I went out softly. I was afraid that the angels would see me. - -II. - -Once more I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and another. We held fast by -one another; we were very tired. We looked up at the great gates; the -angels opened them, and we went in. The mud was on our garments. We -walked across the marble floor, and up to the great throne. Then the -angels divided us. Her, they set upon the top step, but me, upon the -bottom; for, they said, "Last time this woman came here she left red foot- -marks on the floor; we had to wash them out with our tears. Let her not go -up." - -Then she, with whom I came, looked back, and stretched out her hand to me; -and I went and stood beside her. And the angels, they, the shining ones -who never sinned and never suffered, walked by us to and fro and up and -down; I think we should have felt a little lonely there if it had not been -for one another, the angels were so bright. - -God asked me what I had come for; and I drew my sister forward a little -that he might see her. - -God said, "How is it you are here together today?" - -I said, "She was upon the ground in the street, and they passed over her; I -lay down by her, and she put her arms around my neck, and so I lifted her, -and we two rose together." - -God said, "Whom are you now come to accuse before me?" - -I said, "We are come to accuse no man." - -And God bent, and said, "My children--what is it that ye seek?" - -And she beside me drew my hand that I should speak for both. - -I said, "We have come to ask that thou shouldst speak to Man, our brother, -and give us a message for him that he might understand, and that he -might--" - -God said, "Go, take the message down to him!" - -I said, "But what is the message?" - -God said, "Upon your hearts it is written; take it down to him." - -And we turned to go; the angels went with us to the door. They looked at -us. - -And one said--"Ai! but their dresses are beautiful!" - -And the other said, "I thought it was mire when they came in, but see, it -is all golden!" - -But another said, "Hush, it is the light from their faces!" - -And we went down to him. - -Alassio, Italy. - - - -XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED. - -In the dark one night I lay upon my bed. I heard the policeman's feet beat -on the pavement; I heard the wheels of carriages roll home from houses of -entertainment; I heard a woman's laugh below my window--and then I fell -asleep. And in the dark I dreamt a dream. I dreamt God took my soul to -Hell. - -Hell was a fair place; the water of the lake was blue. - -I said to God, "I like this place." - -God said, "Ay, dost thou!" - -Birds sang, turf came to the water-edge, and trees grew from it. Away off -among the trees I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of many -delicate colours and clung to them, and they were tall and graceful and had -yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided in and out -among the trees, and over their heads hung yellow fruit like large pears of -melted gold. - -I said, "It is very fair; I would go up and taste the--" - -God said, "Wait." - -And after a while I noticed a very fair woman pass: she looked this way -and that, and drew down a branch, and it seemed she kissed the fruit upon -it softly, and went on her way, and her dress made no rustle as she passed -over the grass. And when I saw her no more, from among the stems came -another woman fair as she had been, in a delicate tinted robe; she looked -this way and that. When she saw no one there she drew down the fruit, and -when she had looked over it to find a place, she put her mouth to it -softly, and went away. And I saw other and other women come, making no -noise, and they glided away also over the grass. - -And I said to God, "What are they doing?" - -God said, "They are poisoning." - -And I said, "How?" - -God said, "They touch it with their lips, when they have made a tiny wound -in it with their fore-teeth they set in it that which is under their -tongues: they close it with their lip--that no man may see the place, and -pass on." - -I said to God, "Why do they do it?" - -God said, "That another may not eat." - -I said to God, "But if they poison all then none dare eat; what do they -gain?" - -God said, "Nothing." - -I said, "Are they not afraid they themselves may bite where another has -bitten?" - -God said, "They are afraid. In Hell all men fear." - -He called me further. And the water of the lake seemed less blue. - -Then, to the right among the trees were men working. And I said to God, "I -should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very fruitful place, -the grass is so green." - -God said, "Nothing grows in the garden they are making." - -We stood looking; and I saw them working among the bushes, digging holes, -but in them they set nothing; and when they had covered them with sticks -and earth each went a way off and sat behind the bushes watching; and I -noticed that as each walked he set his foot down carefully looking where he -trod. I said to God, "What are they doing?" - -God said, "Making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink." - -I said to God, "Why do they do it?" - -God said, "Because each thinks that when his brother falls he will rise." - -I said to God, "How will he rise?" - -God said, "He will not rise." - -And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes. - -I said to God, "Are these men sane?" - -God said, "They are not sane; there is no sane man in Hell." - -And he told me to come further. - -And I looked where I trod. - -And we came where Hell opened into a plain, and a great house stood there. -Marble pillars upheld the roof, and white marble steps let up to it. The -wind of heaven blew through it. Only at the back hung a thick curtain. -Fair men and women there feasted at long tables. They danced, and I saw -the robes of women flutter in the air and heard the laugh of strong men. -What they feasted with was wine; they drew it from large jars which stood -somewhat in the background, and I saw the wine sparkle as they drew it. - -And I said to God, "I should like to go up and drink." And God said, -"Wait." And I saw men coming in to the Banquet House; they came in from -the back and lifted the corner of the curtain at the sides and crept in -quickly; and they let the curtain fall behind them; they bore great jars -they could hardly carry. And the men and women crowded round them, and the -new-comers opened their jars and gave them of the wine to drink; and I saw -that the women drank even more greedily than the men. And when others had -well drunken they set the jars among the old ones beside the wall, and took -their places at the table. And I saw that some of the jars were very old -and mildewed and dusty, but others had still drops of new must on them and -shone from the furnace. - -And I said to God, "What is that?" For amid the sound of the singing, and -over the dancing of feet, and over the laughing across the wine-cups I -heard a cry. - -And God said, "Stand a way off." - -And he took me where I saw both sides of the curtain. Behind the house was -the wine-press where the wine was made. I saw the grapes crushed, and I -heard them cry. I said, "Do not they on the other side hear it?" - -God said, "The curtain is thick; they are feasting." - -And I said, "But the men who came in last. They saw?" - -God said, "They let the curtain fall behind them--and they forget!" - -I said, "How came they by their jars of wine?" - -God said, "In the treading of the press these are they who came to the top; -they have climbed out over the edge, and filled their jars from below, and -have gone into the house." - -And I said, "And if they had fallen as they climbed--?" - -God said, "They had been wine." - -I stood a way off watching in the sunshine, and I shivered. - -God lay in the sunshine watching too. - -Then there rose one among the feasters, who said, "My brethren, let us -pray!" - -And all the men and women rose: and strong men bowed their heads, and -mothers folded their little children's hands together, and turned their -faces upwards, to the roof. And he who first had risen stood at the table -head, and stretched out both his hands, and his beard was long and white, -and his sleeves and his beard had been dipped in wine; and because the -sleeves were wide and full they held much wine, and it dropped down upon -the floor. - -And he cried, "My brothers and my sisters, let us pray." - -And all the men and women answered, "Let us pray." - -He cried, "For this fair banquet-house we thank thee, Lord." - -And all the men and women said "We thank thee, Lord." - -"Thine is this house, dear Lord." - -"Thine is this house." - -"For us hast thou made it." - -"For us." - -"Oh, fill our jars with wine, dear Lord." - -"Our jars with wine." - -"Give peace and plenty in our time, dear Lord." - -"Peace and plenty in our time"--I said to God, "Whom is it they are talking -to?" God said, "Do I know whom they speak of?" And I saw they were -looking up at the roof; but out in the sunshine, God lay. - -"--dear Lord!" - -"Dear Lord." - -"Our children's children, Lord, shall rise and call thee blessed." - -"Our children's children, Lord."--I said to God, "The grapes are crying!" -God said, "Still! I hear them"--"shall call thee blessed." - -"Shall call thee blessed." - -"Pour forth more wine upon us, Lord." - -"More wine." - -"More wine." - -"More wine!" - -"Wine!!" - -"Wine!!" - -"Wine!!!" - -"Dear Lord!" - -Then men and women sat down and the feast went on. And mothers poured out -wine and fed their little children with it, and men held up the cup to -women's lips and cried, "Beloved! drink," and women filled their lovers' -flagons and held them up; and yet the feast went on. - -And after a while I looked, and I saw the curtain that hung behind the -house moving. - -I said to God, "Is it a wind?" - -God said, "A wind." - -And it seemed to me, that against the curtain I saw pressed the forms of -men and women. And after a while the feasters saw it move, and they -whispered, one to another. Then some rose and gathered the most worn-out -cups, and into them they put what was left at the bottom of other vessels. -Mothers whispered to their children, "Do not drink all, save a little drop -when you have drunk." And when they had collected all the dregs they -slipped the cups out under the bottom of the curtain without lifting it. -After a while the curtain left off moving. - -I said to God, "How is it so quiet?" - -He said, "They have gone away to drink it." - -I said, "They drink it--their own!" - -God said, "It comes from this side of the curtain, and they are very -thirsty." - -Then the feast went on, and after a while I saw a small, white hand slipped -in below the curtain's edge along the floor; and it motioned towards the -wine jars. - -And I said to God, "Why is that hand so bloodless?" - -And God said, "It is a wine-pressed hand." - -And men saw it and started to their feet; and women cried, and ran to the -great wine jars, and threw their arms around them, and cried, "Ours, our -own, our beloved!" and twined their long hair about them. - -I said to God, "Why are they frightened of that one small hand?" - -God answered, "Because it is so white." - -And men ran in a great company towards the curtain, and struggled there. I -heard them strike upon the floor. And when they moved away the curtain -hung smooth and still; and there was a small stain upon the floor. - -I said to God, "Why do they not wash it out?" - -God said, "They cannot." - -And they took small stones and put them down along the edge of the curtain -to keep it down. Then the men and women sat down again at the tables. - -And I said to God, "Will those stones keep it down?" - -God said, "What think you?" - -I said, "If the wind blew?" - -God said, "If the wind blew?" - -And the feast went on. - -And suddenly I cried to God, "If one should rise among them, even of -themselves, and start up from the table and should cast away his cup, and -cry, 'My brothers and my sisters, stay! what is it that we drink?'--and -with his sword should cut in two the curtain, and holding wide the -fragments, cry, 'Brothers, sisters, see! it is not wine, not wine! not -wine! My brothers, oh, my sisters!' and he should overturn the--" - -God said, "Be still!--, see there." - -I looked: before the banquet-house, among the grass, I saw a row of -mounds, flowers covered them, and gilded marble stood at their heads. I -asked God what they were. - -He answered, "They are the graves of those who rose up at the feast and -cried." - -And I asked God how they came there. - -He said, "The men of the banquet-house rose and cast them down backwards." - -I said, "Who buried them?" - -God said, "The men who cast them down." - -I said, "How came it that they threw them down, and then set marble over -them?" - -God said, "Because the bones cried out, they covered them." - -And among the grass and weeds I saw an unburied body lying; and I asked God -why it was. - -God said, "Because it was thrown down only yesterday. In a little while, -when the flesh shall have fallen from its bones, they will bury it also, -and plant flowers over it." - -And still the feast went on. - -Men and women sat at the tables quaffing great bowls. Some rose, and threw -their arms about each other, and danced and sang. They pledged each other -in the wine, and kissed each other's blood-red lips. - -Higher and higher grew the revels. - -Men, when they had drunk till they could no longer, threw what was left in -their glasses up to the roof, and let it fall back in cascades. Women dyed -their children's garments in the wine, and fed them on it till their tiny -mouths were red. Sometimes, as the dancers whirled, they overturned a -vessel, and their garments were bespattered. Children sat upon the floor -with great bowls of wine, and swam rose-leaves on it, for boats. They put -their hands in the wine and blew large red bubbles. - -And higher and higher grew the revels, and wilder the dancing, and louder -and louder the singing. But here and there among the revellers were those -who did not revel. I saw that at the tables here and there were men who -sat with their elbows on the board and hands shading their eyes; they -looked into the wine-cup beneath them, and did not drink. And when one -touched them lightly on the shoulder, bidding them to rise and dance and -sing, they started, and then looked down, and sat there watching the wine -in the cup, but they did not move. - -And here and there I saw a woman sit apart. The others danced and sang and -fed their children, but she sat silent with her head aside as though she -listened. Her little children plucked her gown; she did not see them; she -was listening to some sound, but she did not stir. - -The revels grew higher. Men drank till they could drink no longer, and lay -their heads upon the table sleeping heavily. Women who could dance no more -leaned back on the benches with their heads against their lovers' -shoulders. Little children, sick with wine, lay down upon the edges of -their mothers' robes. Sometimes, a man rose suddenly, and as he staggered -struck the tables and overthrew the benches; some leaned upon the -balustrades sick unto death. Here and there one rose who staggered to the -wine jars and lay down beside them. He turned the wine tap, but sleep -overcame him as he lay there, and the wine ran out. - -Slowly the thin, red stream ran across the white marbled floor; it reached -the stone steps; slowly, slowly, slowly it trickled down, from step to -step, from step to step: then it sank into the earth. A thin white smoke -rose up from it. - -I was silent; I could not breathe; but God called me to come further. - -And after I had travelled for a while I came where on seven hills lay the -ruins of a mighty banquet-house larger and stronger than the one which I -had seen standing. - -I said to God, "What did the men who built it here?" - -God said, "They feasted." - -I said, "On what?" - -God said, "On wine." - -And I looked; and it seemed to me that behind the ruins lay still a large -circular hollow within the earth where a foot of the wine-press had stood. - -I said to God, "How came it that this large house fell?" - -God said, "Because the earth was sodden." - -He called me to come further. - -And at last we came upon a hill where blue waters played, and white marble -lay upon the earth. I said to God, "What was here once?" - -God said, "A pleasure house." - -I looked, and at my feet great pillars lay. I cried aloud for joy to God, -"The marble blossoms!" - -God said, "Ay, 'twas a fairy house. There has not been one like to it, nor -ever shall be. The pillars and the porticoes blossomed; and the wine cups -were as gathered flowers: on this side all the curtain was broidered with -fair designs, the stitching was of gold." - -I said to God, "How came it that it fell?" - -God said, "On the side of the wine-press it was dark." - -And as we travelled, we came where lay a mighty ridge of sand, and a dark -river ran there; and there rose two vast mounds. - -I said to God, "They are very mighty." - -God said, "Ay, exceeding great." - -And I listened. - -God asked me what I was listening to. - -And I said, "A sound of weeping, and I hear the sound of strokes, but I -cannot tell whence it comes." - -God said, "It is the echo of the wine-press lingering still among the -coping-stones upon the mounds. A banquet-house stood here." - -And he called me to come further. - -Upon a barren hill-side, where the soil was arid, God called me to stand -still. And I looked around. - -God said, "There was a feasting-house here once upon a time." - -I said to God, "I see no mark of any!" - -God said, "There was not left one stone upon another that has not been -thrown down." And I looked round; and on the hill-side was a lonely grave. - -I said to God, "What lies there?" - -He said, "A vine truss, bruised in the wine-press!" - -And at the head of the grave stood a cross, and on its foot lay a crown of -thorns. - -And as I turned to go, I looked backward. The wine-press and the banquet- -house were gone; but the grave yet stood. - -And when I came to the edge of a long ridge there opened out before me a -wide plain of sand. And when I looked downward I saw great stones lie -shattered; and the desert sand had half covered them over. - -I said to God, "There is writing on them, but I cannot read it." - -And God blew aside the desert sand, and I read the writing: "Weighed in -the balance, and found--" but the last word was wanting. - -And I said to God, "It was a banquet-house?" - -God said, "Ay, a banquet-house." - -I said, "There was a wine-press here?" - -God said, "There was a wine-press." - -I asked no further question. I was very weary; I shaded my eyes with my -hand, and looked through the pink evening light. - -Far off, across the sand, I saw two figures standing. With wings upfolded -high above their heads, and stern faces set, neither man nor beast, they -looked out across the desert sand, watching, watching, watching! I did not -ask God what they were, for I knew what the answer would be. - -And, further and yet further, in the evening light, I looked with my shaded -eyes. - -Far off, where the sands were thick and heavy, I saw a solitary pillar -standing: the crown had fallen, and the sand had buried it. On the broken -pillar sat a grey owl-of-the-desert, with folded wings; and in the evening -light I saw the desert fox creep past it, trailing his brush across the -sand. - -Further, yet further, as I looked across the desert, I saw the sand -gathered into heaps as though it covered something. - -I cried to God, "Oh, I am so weary." - -God said, "You have seen only one half of Hell." - -I said, "I cannot see more, I am afraid of Hell. In my own narrow little -path I dare not walk because I think that one has dug a pitfall for me; and -if I put my hand to take a fruit I draw it back again because I think it -has been kissed already. If I look out across the plains, the mounds are -burial heaps; and when I pass among the stones I hear them crying aloud. -When I see men dancing I hear the time beaten in with sobs; and their wine -is living! Oh, I cannot bear Hell!" - -God said, "Where will you go?" - -I said "To the earth from which I came; it was better there." - -And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed. - -God said, "Come, and I will show you Heaven." - -... - -And partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages had -died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the policeman's -tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great hand lay upon -my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed from side to side; -and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed. - -God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The -gulf, it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two bridges crossing -it that both sloped upwards. - -I said to God, "Is there no other way by which men cross it?" - -God said, "One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards. - -I asked God what the bridges' names were. - -God said, "What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the -Beautiful, if you will--you will yet not understand them." - -I asked God how it was I could not see the third. - -God said, "It is seen only by those who climb it." - -I said, "Do they all lead to one heaven?" - -God said, "All Heaven is one: nevertheless some parts are higher than -others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the lower; -but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the higher; -nevertheless the light is all one." - -And I saw over the bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other, -countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it. - -God said, "It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven." - -And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God -how it was. - -He said, "No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, when -they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there is no -land beyond." - -I said, "Has none ever returned?" - -God said, "No; once in Heaven always in Heaven." - -And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors--for -Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open--the posts rose up so -high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there were any. - -And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it. - -I said to God, "Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?" - -God said, "Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be -engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell." - -And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every -hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks -and stones. I asked God how it was. - -But God did not answer me. - -I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be otherwise. And -after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, and I -asked God if the sun were not going to rise. - -God said, "No; we are coming to where the people are." - -And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning day; -and on the rock were flowers blooming, and trees blossomed at the roadside; -and streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds singing; I asked -God where they were. - -God said, "It is the people calling to one another." - -And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they walked. -I asked God how it was they wore no covering. - -God said, "Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover any -part." - -And I asked God what they were doing. - -God said, "Shining on the plants that they may grow." - -And I saw that some were working in companies, and some alone, but most -were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally -there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was. - -God said, "When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most -perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless, -there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many kinds -of light." - -And one from among the people came running towards me; and when he came -near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were little -children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told God what I -felt; God said, "All men feel so in Heaven when another comes towards -them." - -And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright -lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his companion -answered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She said, "He must -have water"; and she took some in her hands, and fed me (I had been afraid -to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered fruit for me, and gave it -me to eat. They said, "We shone long to make it ripen," and they laughed -together as they saw me eat it. - -The man said, "He is very weary; he must sleep" (for I had not dared to -sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his companion's knee and spread her -hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought I heard -the birds calling across me. And when I woke it was like early morning, -with the dew on everything. - -And the man took my hand and led me to a hidden spot among the rocks. The -ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and there -was a little stream running. He said, "This is a garden we are making, no -one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the ground has cracked -with our shining, and this little stream is bursting out. See, the flowers -are growing." - -And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers with -dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my hands -shone as I held them. He said, "This garden is for all when it is -finished." And he went away to his companion, and I went out into the -great pathway. - -And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And -when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows -were standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter than -anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said, -"Hush! Our singing bird." - -And I asked why the eyes shone so. - -And he said, "They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone so." - -And the people gathered closer round him. - -And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees of -light with great laughter. When they came close I saw they carried one -without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so bright -that I could not look at them. - -And I said to one, "What is it?" - -He answered, "This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and -feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the maimed -stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in Heaven. We -pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat. No one is -allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all"; and they went on among the -trees. - -I said to God, "This is a strange land. I had thought blindness and -maimedness were great evils. Here men make them to a rejoicing." - -God said, "Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!" - -And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand. I said to -God, "Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have -dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again. I will stay here -and shine." And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as -others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light. I -said to God, "How is it?" - -God said, "Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against -none?" - -And I said, "Yes--"; and I thought--"Now is the time when I will tell God, -that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly my fellow- -men have treated me. How they have misunderstood me. How I have intended -to be magnanimous and generous to them, and they--." And I began to tell -God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering under my breath, -and I was silent. - -And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my mantle about me and -followed him. - -And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at last to -a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the clouds. And -on its side I saw men working; and they picked at the earth with huge -picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily. And some laboured in -companies, but most laboured singly. And I saw the drops of sweat fall -from their foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out with labour. -And I said, "I had not thought in heaven to see men labour so!" And I -thought of the garden where men sang and loved, and I wondered that any -should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side. And I saw upon the -foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the drops which fell from -them as they worked had light. - -And I asked God what they were seeking for. - -And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small stones, -which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that the light of -the stones and the light on the men's foreheads was the same. And I saw -that when one found a stone he passed it on to his fellow, and he to -another, and he to another. No man kept the stone he found. And at times -they gathered in great company about when a large stone was found, and -raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then they worked on again. - -And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last. Then God -touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my very -feet was a mighty crown. The light streamed out from it. - -God said, "Each stone as they find it is set here." - -And the crown was wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern -ran through all, yet each part was different. - -I said to God, "How does each man know where to set his stone, so that the -pattern is worked out?" - -God said, "Because in the light his forehead sheds each man sees faintly -outlined that full crown." - -And I said, "But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to its -fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?" - -God said, "The stones are alive; they grow." - -And I said, "But what does each man gain by his working?" - -God said, "He sees his outline filled." - -I said, "But those stones which are last set cover those which were first; -and those will again be covered by those which come later." - -God said, "They are covered, but not hid. The light is the light of all. -Without the first, no last." - -And I said to God, "When will this crown be ended?" - -And God said, "Look up!" - -I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its summit I could -not see; it was lost in the clouds. - -God said no more. - -And I looked at the crown: then a longing seized me. Like the passion of -a mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of a friend -for the friend whom life has buried; like the hunger of dying eyes for a -life that is slipping; like the thirst of a soul for love at its first -spring waking, so, but fiercer was the longing in me. - -I cried to God, "I too will work here; I too will set stones in the -wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand. And if it be that, -labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will be -with the men that labour here. I shall hear their shout of joy when each -stone is found; I shall join in their triumph, I shall shout among them; I -shall see the crown grow." So great was my longing as I looked at the -crown, I thought a faint light fell from my forehead also. - -God said, "Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?" - -I said, "No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown." And I was dumb with -longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing -there. And I ran forward, and threw my mantle on the earth and bent to -seize one of the mighty tools which lay there. I could not lift it from -the earth. - -God said, "Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy -mantle." - -And I took up my mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked -back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved. - -Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner. Not a tree or -plant was on the bare rocks, and the stillness was unbroken. My breath -came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips. I said to -God, "Is this Heaven?" - -God said, "Yes; it is the highest." - -And still we climbed. I said to God, "I cannot breathe so high." - -God said, "Because the air is pure?" - -And my head grew dizzy, and as I climbed the blood burst from my finger- -tips. - -Then we came out upon a lonely mountain-top. - -No living being moved there; but far off on a solitary peak I saw a lonely -figure standing. Whether it were man or woman I could not tell; for partly -it seemed the figure of a woman, but its limbs were the mighty limbs of a -man. I asked God whether it was man or woman. - -God said, "In the least Heaven sex reigns supreme; in the higher it is not -noticed; but in the highest it does not exist." - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and labour mightily, but what it -laboured at I could not see. - -I said to God, "How came it here?" - -God said, "By a bloody stair. Step by step it mounted from the lowest -Hell, and day by day as Hell grew farther and Heaven no nearer, it hung -alone between two worlds. Hour by hour in that bitter struggle its limbs -grew larger, till there fell from it rag by rag the garments which it -started with. Drops fell from its eyes as it strained them; each step it -climbed was wet with blood. Then it came out here." - -And I thought of the garden where men sang with their arms around one -another; and the mountain-side where they worked in company. And I -shuddered. - -And I said, "Is it not terribly alone here?" - -God said, "It is never alone!" - -I said, "What has it for all its labour? I see nothing return to it." - -Then God touched my eyes, and I saw stretched out beneath us the plains of -Heaven and Hell, and all that was within them. - -God said, "From that lone height on which he stands, all things are open. -To him is clear the shining in the garden, he sees the flower break forth -and the streams sparkle; no shout is raised upon the mountain-side but his -ear may hear it. He sees the crown grow and the light shoot from it. All -Hell is open to him. He sees the paths mount upwards. To him, Hell is the -seed ground from which Heaven springs. He sees the sap ascending." - -And I saw the figure bend over its work, and the light from its face fell -upon it. - -And I said to God, "What is it making?" - -And God said, "Music!" - -And he touched my ears, and I heard it. - -And after a long while I whispered to God, "This is Heaven." - -And God asked me why I was crying. But I could not answer for joy. - -And the face turned from its work, and the light fell upon me. Then it -grew so bright I could not see things separately; and which were God, or -the man, or I, I could not tell; we were all blended. I cried to God, -"Where are you?" but there was no answer, only music and light. - -Afterwards, when it had grown so dark again that I could see things -separately, I found that I was standing there wrapped tight in my little -old, brown, earthly cloak, and God and the man were separated from each -other, and from me. - -I did not dare say I would go and make music beside the man. I knew I -could not reach even to his knee, nor move the instrument he played. But I -thought I would stand there on my little peak and sing an accompaniment to -that great music. And I tried; but my voice failed. It piped and -quavered. I could not sing that tune. I was silent. - -Then God pointed to me, that I should go out of Heaven. - -And I cried to God, "Oh, let me stay here! If indeed it be, as I know it -is, that I am not great enough to sing upon the mountain, nor strong enough -to labour on its side, nor bright enough to shine and love within the -garden, at least let me go down to the great gateway; humbly I will kneel -there sweeping; and, as the saved pass in, I will see the light upon their -faces. I shall hear the singing in the garden, and the shout upon the -hillside--" - -God said, "It may not be;" he pointed. - -And I cried, "If I may not stay in Heaven, then let me go down to Hell, and -I will grasp the hands of men and women there; and slowly, holding one -another's hands, we will work our way upwards." - -Still God pointed. - -And I threw myself upon the earth and cried, "Earth is so small, so mean! -It is not meet a soul should see Heaven and be cast out again!" - -And God laid his hand on me, and said, "Go back to earth: that which you -seek is there." - -I awoke: it was morning. The silence and darkness of the night were gone. -Through my narrow attic window I saw the light of another day. I closed my -eyes and turned towards the wall: I could not look upon the dull grey -world. - -In the streets below, men and women streamed past by hundreds; I heard the -beat of their feet on the pavement. Men on their way to business; servants -on errands; boys hurrying to school; weary professors pacing slowly the old -street; prostitutes, men and women, dragging their feet wearily after last -night's debauch; artists with quick, impatient footsteps; tradesmen for -orders; children to seek for bread. I heard the stream beat by. And at -the alley's mouth, at the street corner, a broken barrel-organ was playing; -sometimes it quavered and almost stopped, then went on again, like a broken -human voice. - -I listened: my heart scarcely moved; it was as cold as lead. I could not -bear the long day before me; and I tried to sleep again; yet still I heard -the feet upon the pavement. And suddenly I heard them cry loud as they -beat, "We are seeking!--we are seeking!--we are seeking!" and the broken -barrel-organ at the street corner sobbed, "The Beautiful!--the Beautiful!-- -the Beautiful!" And my heart, which had been dead, cried out with every -throb, "Love!--Truth!--the Beautiful!--the Beautiful!" It was the music I -had heard in Heaven that I could not sing there. - -And fully I awoke. - -Upon the faded quilt, across my bed a long yellow streak of pale London -sunlight was lying. It fell through my narrow attic window. - -I laughed. I rose. - -I was glad the long day was before me. - -Paris and London. - - - - - -End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Dreams, by Olive Schreiner - diff --git a/old/old/drmos10.zip b/old/old/drmos10.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 2e4c186..0000000 --- a/old/old/drmos10.zip +++ /dev/null |