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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14282 ***
+
+A mery Dialogue, declaringe the propertyes of shrowde shrewes, and
+honest wyues, not onelie verie pleasaunte, but also not a lytle
+profitable: made by ye famous clerke D. Erasmus. Roterodamus.
+Translated into Englyshe.
+
+A mery Dia-
+ logue, declaringe the propertyes
+ of shrowde shrewes,
+and ho-
+ nest wyues, not onelie verie
+ pleasaunte, but also not a
+
+lytle profitable: made
+ by ye famous clerke
+ D. Erasmus.
+
+Roteroda-
+ mus.
+ 
+ Translated into
+ Englyshe.
+ 
+
+Anno. M.CCCCC.
+ LVII.
+
+[Transcriber's Note: With the exception of hyphenation at the end of
+lines, the text version preserves the line breaks of the original; the
+html version has been treated similar to drama and starts a new paragraph
+for each change of speaker. An illustration of the title page is included
+to give an impression of the original.]
+
+    View HTML file with all the original page images (4.5mb)
+
+Eulalia. God spede, & a thousand mine old acqueintāce.
+xantippa.
+
+xan. As many agayn, my dere hert. Eulalia. me semets ye ar warē
+much faire now of late.
+
+Eula. Saye you so? gyue you me a mocke at the first dash.
+
+xan. Nay veryly but I take you so.
+
+Eula. Happely mi new gown maketh me to loke fayrer then I sholde
+doe.
+
+xan. Sothe you saye, I haue not sene a mynioner this many dayes, I
+reken it Englishe cloth.
+
+Eu. It is english stuff and dyed in Venis.
+
+xan. It is softer then sylke what an oriente purpel colore here is
+who gaue you so rich a gift.
+
+Eu. How shoulde honeste women come by their gere? but by their
+husbandes.
+
+xā. Happy arte thou that hathe suche an husband, but I wolde
+to god for his passyon, that I had maryed an husband of clowts, when I had
+maried col my good mā.
+
+Eula. Why say ye so. I pray you, are you at oddes now.
+
+xā. I shal neuer be at one wt him ye se how
+beggerly I go. I haue not an hole smock to put on my backe, and he is wel
+contente with all: I praye god I neuer come in heuen & I be not
+ashamed oftimes to shewe my head, when I se other wiues how net and trim
+they go that ar matched with farre porer mē then he is.
+
+Eula. The apparell of honest wiues is not in the aray of the body,
+nor in the tirements of their head as saynte Peter the apostle teacheth vs
+(and that I learned a late at a sermon) but in good lyuynge and honest
+conuersacion and in the ornamentes of the soule, the cōmon buenes ar
+painted up, to please manye mennes eies we ar trime ynough yf we please
+our husbands only.
+
+xan. But yet my good man so euyll wylling to bestow ought vpon his
+wyfe, maketh good chere, and lassheth out the dowrye that hee hadde with
+mee no small pot of wine.
+
+Eulaly, where vpon?
+
+xantipha, wheron hym lykethe beste, at the tauerne, at the stewes
+and at the dyce.
+
+Eulalia Peace saye not so.
+
+xan. wel yet thus it is, then when he cōmeth home to me at
+midnight, longe watched for, he lyeth rowtyng lyke a sloyne all the leue
+longe nyght, yea and now and thē he all bespeweth his bed, and worse
+then I will say at this tyme.
+
+Eulali. Peace thou dyshonesteth thy self, when thou doest
+dishonesteth thy husbād.
+
+xantip. The deuyl take me bodye and bones but I had leuer lye by a
+sow with pigges, then with suche a bedfelowe.
+
+Eulali. Doest thou not then take him vp, wel favoredly for stūbling.
+
+Xantip. As he deserueth I spare no tonge.
+
+Eulalia. what doth he thē.
+
+xantip. At the first breake he toke me vp vengeably, trusting that
+he shoulde haue shakē me of and put me to scilence with his crabid
+wordes.
+
+Eula Came neuer your hote wordes vnto hādstrokes.
+
+xantip. On a tyme we fel so farre at wordes yt we wer
+almost by ye eares togither.
+
+Eula what say you womā?
+
+xan. He toke vp a staffe wandryng at me, as the deuill had bene on
+hym ready to laye me on the bones.
+
+Eula. were thou not redye to ron in at the bēch hole.
+
+xanti. Nay mary I warrant the. I gat me a thre foted stole in hand,
+& he had but ones layd his littell finger on me, he shulde not haue
+founde me lame. I woulde haue holden his nose to the grindstōe
+
+Eulalia. A newe found shelde, ye wanted but youre dystaffe to haue
+made you a speare.
+
+xantip. And he shoulde not greatlye a laughed at his parte.
+
+Eulali. Ah my frynde. xantyppa. that way is neither good nor godly,
+
+xantippa what is neither good nor godly. yf he wyll not vse me, as
+hys wyfe: I wil not take him for my husbande.
+
+Eulalya. But Paule sayeth that wyues shoulde bee boner and buxome
+vnto their husbandes with all humylytye, and Peter also bryngethe vs an
+example of Sara, that called her husbande Abrahame, Lorde.
+
+xantippa. I know that as well as you thē ye same
+paule say that men shoulde loue theyr wyues, as Christ loues his spouse
+the churche let him do his duete I wil do myne.
+
+Eula. But for all that, when the matter is so farre that the one
+muste forber the other it is reason that the woman giue place vnto the
+man,
+
+xan. Is he meete to be called my husbāde that maketh me his
+vnderlynge and his dryuel?
+
+Eula. But tel me dame xātip. Would he neuer offre the stripes
+after that
+
+xātip. Not a stripe, and therin he was the wyser man for &
+he had he should haue repented euery vayne in hys harte.
+
+Eulali. But thou offered him foule wordes plentie,
+
+xantip. And will do.
+
+Eula. What doth he ye meane seasō.
+
+xantip. What doth he sometyme cowcheth an hogeshed, somtime he doth
+nothing but stande and laughe at me, other whyle takethe hys Lute wheron
+is scarslie three strynges layenge on that as fast as he may dryue because
+he would not here me.
+
+Eula. Doeth that greue thee?
+
+xantippa. To beyonde home, manie a tyme I haue much a do to hold my
+handes.
+
+Eula. Neighbour. xantip. wylt thou gyue me leaue to be playn with
+the.
+
+xantippa Good leaue haue you.
+
+Eula. Be as bolde on me agayne our olde acquayntaunce and amite,
+euen frō our chyldhode, would it should be so.
+
+xantippa. Trueth you saie, there was neuer woman kinde that I
+fauoured more
+
+Elaly Whatsoeuer thy husbād be, marke well this, chaunge thou
+canst not, In the olde lawe, where the deuill hadde cast aboone betwene
+the man and the wife, at the worste waye they myght be deuorsed, but now
+that remedie is past, euē till death depart you he must nedes be thy
+husbande, and thou hys wyfe,
+
+xan. Il mote they thryue & thei that taken away that liberty
+from vs
+
+Eulalia. Beware what thou sayest, it was christes act.
+
+Xā. I can euil beleue that
+
+Eula. It is none otherwyse, now it is beste that eyther of you one
+beyng with an other, ye laboure to liue at reste and peace.
+
+xantyppa. Why? can I forgeue him a new,
+
+Eu. It lieth great parte in the womē, for the orderinge of
+theyr husbandes.
+
+xan. Leadest thou a mery life with thine.
+
+Eula Now all is well.
+
+xan. Ergo ther was somwhat to do at your fyrste metying
+
+Eula. Neuer no greate busynes, but yet as it, happeneth now and
+than betwene man & womā, there was foule cloudes a loft, that
+might haue made a storme but that they were ouer blowen with good
+humanitie and wyse handlynge. Euery man hath hys maner and euery mā
+hath his seueral aptite or mynde, and thinkes hys owne way best, & yf
+we list not to lie there liueth no mā without faulte, which yf anie
+were elles, ywis in wedlocke they ought to know and not vtterly hated
+
+xan, you say well,
+
+Eulalya. It happeneth many times that loue dayes breketh betwene
+man and wife, before ye one be perfitly knowē vnto the
+other beware of that in any wife, for when malice is ones begon, loue is
+but barely redressed agayne, namely, yf the mater grow furthe unto bytter
+checkes, & shamfull raylinges such things as are fastened with glew,
+yf a manne wyll all to shake them strayght waye whyle the glew is warme,
+they soone fal in peces, but after ye glew is ones dried vp
+they cleue togither so fast as anie thing, wherefore at the beginning a
+meanes must be made, that loue mai encrease and be made sure betwene ye
+man & the wife, & that is best brought aboute by gentilnesse and
+fayre condycions, for the loue that beautie onelie causeth, is in a maner
+but a cheri faire
+
+Xan. But I praye you hartelye tell me, by what pollycy ye brought your
+good man to folow your daunce.
+
+Eula. I wyll tell you on this condicyon, that ye will folowe me.
+
+xan. I can.
+
+Eula, It is as easy as water if ye cā find in your hart to do
+it, nor yet no good time past for he is a yong mā, and you ar but
+agirle of age, and I trowe it is not a yere ful sins ye wer maried.
+
+Xā All thys is true
+
+Eulalia. I wyll shew you then. But you must kepe it secret
+
+xantip. with a ryght good wyl.
+
+Eula. This was my chyefe care, to kepe me alwayes in my housbandes
+fauoure, that there shulde nothyng angre him I obserued his appetite and
+pleasure I marked the tymes bothe whan he woulde be pleased and when he
+wold be all byshrwed, as they tameth the Elephantes and Lyons or suche
+beastes that can not be wonne by strēgth
+
+xantyppa. Suche a beaste haue I at home.
+
+Eula. Thei that goth vnto the Elephantes weare no white garmentes,
+nor they that tame wylde bulles, weare no blasynge reedes, for experience
+teacheth, that suche beastes bee madde with those colours, like as the
+Tygers by the sound of tumbrels be made so wode, that thei plucke
+theymself in peces. Also thei yt breake horses haue their
+termes and theyr soundes theyr hadlynges, and other knackes to breake
+their wyldnes, wyth all. Howe much more then is it oure duetyes that ye
+wyues to use suche craftes toward our husbandes with whō all our lyfe
+tyme wil we, nyl we is one house, and one bed.
+
+xantip. furthwith your tale.
+
+Eula, whē I had ones marked there thynges. I applied my selfe
+unto hym, well ware not to displease him.
+
+xantip. How could thou do that.
+
+Eulalya. Fyrste in the ouerseynge my householde, which is the very
+charge and cure of wyues, I wayted euer, not onely gyuynge hede that
+nothing shoulde be forgotten or undoone, but that althynges should be as
+he woulde haue it, wer it euer so small a trifle.
+
+xā. wherin.
+
+Eulalia. As thus. Yf mi good man had a fantasye to this thynge, or
+to that thyng, or if he would haue his meate dressed on this fashion, or
+that fashion.
+
+xan. But howe couldest thou fashyon thye selfe after hys wyll and
+mynde, that eyther woulde not be at home or elles be as freshe as a saulte
+heryng.
+
+Elali. Abyde a while. I come not at that yet, yf my husband wer
+very sad at anye tyme, no time to speake to him. I laughed not nor tryfled
+him as many a woman doth but I looked rufully and heauyly, for as a glasse
+(if it be a true stone) representeth euer ye physnamy of hym
+that loketh in it, so lykewyse it becommeth a wedded woman alway to agre
+vnto the appetite of her husbande, that she be not mery whē he
+murneth, nor dysposed to play whē he is sad. And if that at any time
+he be waiward shrewshaken, either I pacyfye hym with faire wordes, or I
+let hym alone, vntyll the wynd be ouerblowen gyuing him neuer a word at
+al, vntil the time come that I may eyther excuse my faute, or tell hym of
+hys. In lyke wyse when he commeth home wel whitled, I gyue hym gentyll and
+fayre woordes, so with fayre entreatynge I gette hym to bed.
+
+xantyppa, O careful state of wyues, whē they muste be gladde
+and fayne to followe their husbandes mindes, be thei eluyshe, dronken, or
+doying what myschiefe they liste.
+
+Eula. As whoe saieth this gentill dealynge serueth not for bothe
+partyes, for they spyte of theyr berdes muste suffre many thynges in our
+demeanor, yet a time ther is, whē in a weighty matter it is laufull
+that the wyfe tell the good mā his faute, if that it be matter of
+substaunce, for at lyght trifles, it is best to play byll under wynge.
+
+xantyp. what tune is that
+
+Eula. when he is ydle, neither angry, pensife, nor ouersen, then
+betwixt you two secretly he must be told his faute gētly, or rather
+intreated, that in this thynge or that he play the better husbande to loke
+better to his good name and fame and to his helth and this tellyng must be
+myxt with mery conceites and pleasaunt wordes many times I make a meane to
+tel my tale after this fashyon, that he shall promise me, he shal take no
+displeasure wyth my thynge, that I a foolyshe woman shall breake vnto hym,
+that pertayneth eyther to hys helthe worshyppe or welth. When I haue sayde
+that I woulde, I chop cleane from that communication and falle into some
+other pastime, for this is all our fautes, neyghbour Xantippa, that whē
+we begyn ones to chat our tounges neuer lie.
+
+Xantip. So men say
+
+Eulalia. Thus was I well ware on, that I neuer tell my husbād
+his fautes before companie, nor I neuer caried any cōplaynte furthe a
+dores: the mendes is soner made whē none knoweth it but two, and
+there were anie suche faute that myght not be wel borne nor amēded by
+ye wyues tellige, it is more laudable that the wife make
+complaynte vnto the Parentes and kynsfolke of her husband, then vnto her
+own, and so to moderate her complaynte that she seme not to hate hym but
+hys vice nor let her play all the blabbe, that in some poynt vnutered, he
+may know & loue his wiues curteysy.
+
+Xantip. She had nede be aswellerned womā, that would do all
+this.
+
+Eu. Mary through suche demeanoure, we shall sterre our husbādes
+vnto lyke gentylnesse.
+
+Xan: There be some that cannot be amended with all the gentyll
+handlynge in the worlde.
+
+Eula: In faith I thyncke nay, but case there be, marke this wel the
+good man must be for borne, howe soeuer the game goeth, then is it better
+to haue him alwayes at one point or ells more kinde and louing throw oure
+gentill handlinge, then to haue him worse and worse throwe our
+cursednesse, what wyll you say and I tell you of husbādes that hath
+won theyr wiues by suche curtesie, howe muche more are we boūde to
+use the same towarde our husbandes.
+
+Xantip. Than shall you tell of one farre vnlyke vnto thyne husband.
+
+Eula. I am aquented with a certayne gentelman well lerned and a
+veri honest man, he maried a yonge wyfe, a mayden of. xvii. yeare olde
+brede and brought vp of a chylde in the countre vnder her fathers and
+mother wing (as gentilmen delite to dwel in the countre) to hunt &
+hawke This yong gētilman would haue one that were unbrokē,
+because he might the soner breake her after hys owne mind, he begā to
+entre her in learning syngynge, and playinge, and by lytle and lytle to
+vse here to repete suche thynges as she harde at sermons, and to instruct
+her with other things that myght haue doone her more good in time to come.
+This gere, because it was straūge vnto this young womā which at
+home was brought vp in all ydelnesse, and with the light communication of
+her fathers seruantes, and other pastimes, begā to waxe greuouse
+& paynfull, vnto her. She withdrew her good mynde and dylygence and whē
+her husband called vpon her she put ye finger in the eye, and
+wepte and many times she would fal downe on the grounde, beatynge her head
+agaynst the floure, as one that woulde be out of thys worlde. When there
+was no healpe for this gere, the good man as though he hadde bene wel
+asked his wyfe yf she woulde ryde into the countre with him a sporting
+vnto her fathers house, so that she graunted anone. When they were cōmē
+thyther, the gentilman left his wyfe with her mother & her sisters he
+wēt furth an huntynge with his father in lawe, there betwene theym
+two, he shewed al together, how that he hadde hoped to haue had a louynge
+companion to lead his lyfe withall, now he hath one that is alwaies
+blubberynge and pyninge her selfe awaye withoute anye remedie, he prayeth
+him to lay to hys hande in amendinge his doughters fautes her father
+answered yt he had ones giuen hym his doughter, and yf that she
+woulde not be rewled by wordes (a goddes name take Stafforde lawe) she was
+his owne. Then the gētylman sayd agayne, I know that I may do but I
+had leuer haue her amēded eyther by youre good counsell or
+commaundement, then to come vnto that extreme waies, her father promised
+that he would fynde a remedye. After a dai or two, he espied time and
+place whē he might be alone with his doughter. Then he loked soureli
+vpō his doughter, as though he had bene horne woode with her, he
+began to reherse how foule a beaste she was, how he feared many tymes that
+she neuer haue bestowed her. And yet sayde he much a doe, vnto my great
+coste and charg, I haue gottē the one that moughte lye by any Ladyes
+syde, and she were a quene and yet thou not perceiuying what I haue done
+for the nor knowynge that thou hast suche a man whiche but of his goodnes
+myghte thynke thee to euill to be stoye in his kytchen, thou contrariest
+al his mind to make a short tale he spake so sharpely to her, that she
+feared that he wold haue beaten her. It is a man of asubtyll and wylye
+wytte, whyche wythout a vysarde is ready to playe anye maner of parte. Thē
+this yonge wife what for feare, and for trouthe of the matter, cleane
+stryken oute of countenaunce, fell downe at her fathers fete desyryng hym
+that he wolde forgette and forgiue her all that was past and euer after
+she woulde doe her duetye Her father forgaue her, and promised that she
+shoulde finde him a kynd and a louynge father, yf so be that she
+perfourmed her promyse.
+
+xantippa. How dyd she afterwarde?
+
+Eulalya, whē she was departed frō her father she came
+backe into a chaumber, and there by chaunce found her husband alone she
+fel on her knees to hym and said. Mā in tymes paste, I neyther knewe
+you nor my selfe, from this daye froward ye shall se me cleane chaunged,
+onelye pardon that is past, with that her husbande toke her in his armes
+& kyssed her sayinge she should lacke nothyng yf she woulde holde her
+in that mind.
+
+xantip. Why did she cōtinue so.
+
+Eulalya. Euen tyll her endynge daye, nor there was none so vyle a
+thynge but that she woulde laye handes on it redely with all her herte, if
+her husband wolde let her, so great loue was begō and assured betwene
+them and many a daye after, shee thanked god yt euer she met
+with such a mā. For yf she had not she sayd she had ben cleane caste
+awaye.
+
+xan. We haue as greate plentie of suche housbandes, as of white
+crowes.
+
+Eulalya. Now, but for werieng you? I coulde tell you a thynge that
+chaunced a late in this same citye.
+
+xantyppa. I haue litell to doe, and I lyke your communicacyon very
+well.
+
+Eulalia. There was a certaine gentilmā he as suche sort of men
+do, vsed much huntyng in the cuntre, where he happened on a younge
+damoysell, a very pore womās child on whō he doted a man well
+stryken in age, and for her sake he lay oftē out of his owne house
+his excuse was hūtîg. This mās wife an exceding honest womā,
+halfe deale suspecte the mater, tried out her husbandes falshed, on a tyme
+whē he had taken his iourney fourth of the town vnto some other
+waies, she wente vnto that poore cotage and boulted out all the hoole
+matter, where he laye on nights, wheron he drāke, what thyng thei had
+to welcō him withall. There was neither one thyng nor other, but bare
+walles. This good womā returned home, and sone after came againe
+brynginge wt her a good soft bed, and al therto belongyng and
+certain plate besydes that she gaue them moneye, chargynge them that if
+the Gentilmā came agayne, they shold entreate him better not beyng
+knowē al this while that she was his wyfe, but fayued her to be her
+sister. Not long after her husband stale thether againe, he sawe the howse
+otherwyse decked, and better fare then he was wounte to haue. He asked,
+frome whence commeth al this goodly gere? They sayde that an honeste
+matrone, a kynsewoman of hys hadde broughte it thyther and commaunded
+thenm that he should be well cherished when so euer he came, by and by his
+hart gaue him that it was hys wiues dede, whan he came home he demaūded
+of her yf she hadde bene there or nay, she sayd yea. Then he asked her for
+what purpose she sente all that housholde stuffe thyther. Man (said she)
+ye haue bē tenderly brought vp. I perceiued that ye were but corslie
+handled there, me thought that it was my part, seing it was your wyll and
+pleasure to be there ye shoulde be better loked to.
+
+Xantippa. She was one of goddes fooles. I woulde rather for a bed
+haue layd vnder him a bundel of nettels: or a burden of thistels.
+
+Eula. But here the end her husbande perceyuyng the honeste of her
+great pacience neuer after laye from her, but made good cheare at home
+with his owne. I am sure ye knowe Gilberte the holāder.
+
+Xan. Very well.
+
+Eu. He (as it is not vnknowē maried an old wife in his florishîg
+youth.
+
+Xā. Per aduēture he maried the good and notthe woman.
+
+Eulalia. There sayde ye well, setting lytell stoore by hys olde
+wife, hunted a callette, with whom he kept much companie abrode, he dined
+or supped litell at home. What wouldest thou haue sayd to ye
+gere.
+
+Xantip. What woulde I a said? I wolde haue flowē to the hores
+toppe and I wolde haue crowned myne husbande at hys oute goinge to her
+with a pysbowle,that he so ēbawlmed might haue gon vnto his souerayne
+ladie.
+
+Eula. But how much wiselier dyd this woman? She desyred that yonge
+woman home vnto her, and made her good chere, so by that meanes she
+brought home also her husband without ani witchraft or sorserie, and yf
+that at anye season he supped abrode with her she would sende vnto them
+some good dayntie morsel, and byd him make good chere
+
+Xantippa. I had leuer be slayne then I woulde be bawde vnto myne
+owne husbande.
+
+Eulalia. Yea, but consyder all thynges well, was not that muche
+better, then she shoulde be her shrewyshnesse, haue putte her husbandes
+minde cleane of from her, and so haue ledde all her life in trouble and
+heuynesse.
+
+Xantippa. I graunte you well, that it was better so but I coulde
+not abyde it.
+
+Eulalya. I wyll tell you a prety story more, and so make an ende
+One of oure neyghboures, a well disposed and a goddes man, but that he is
+some what testie, on a day pomeld his wife well and thriftely aboute the
+pate and so good a woman as euer was borne, she picked her into an inner
+parler, and there weepynge and sobbynge, eased her heuye harte, anone
+after, by chaunce her husbande came into the same place, and founde hys
+wyfe wepyng. What sitest thou heare sayth he seighing & sobbîg
+like a child Thē she like a wise woman sayde. Is it not more honesty
+for me to lamente my dolours here in a secret place, thē to make
+wondering and on oute crye in the strete, as other womē do. At so
+wyfely and womanly a saing his hart melted, promysynge her faythfullye and
+truelie that he woulde neuer laye stroke on her afterwarde, nor neuer did.
+
+Xantippa. No more wil mine god thanke my selfe.
+
+Eulalya. But then ye are alwaies one at a nother, agreinge lyke
+dogges and cattes.
+
+Xan. What wouldest thou that I should do?
+
+Eu. Fyrst & formest, whatsoeuer thy husbande doeth sayde thou
+nothinge, for his harte must be wonne by lytell and litel by fayre meanes,
+gentilnesse and forbearing at the last thou shalte eyther wynne him or at
+the least waie thou shalt leade a better life thē thou doest now.
+
+Xantippa. He his beyonde goddes forbode, he wil neuer amende.
+
+Eulalia. Eye saye not so, there is no beest so wild but by fayre
+handling be tamed, neuer mistrust man thē. Assay a moneth or two,
+blame me and thou findest not that my counsell dooeth ease. There be some
+fautes wyth you thoughe thou se them, be wyse of this especyall that thou
+neuer gyue hym foule wordes in the chambre, or inbed but be sure that all
+thynges there bee full of pastyme and pleasure. For yf that place which is
+ordeined to make amēdes for all fautes and so to renew loue, be
+polluted, eyther with strife or grugynges, then fayre wel al hope of loue
+daies, or atonementes, yet there be some beastes so wayward and
+mischeuous, that when theyr husbandes hath them in their arms a bed, they
+scholde & chyde making yt same plesure their lewd
+condicions (that expelseth all displeasures oute of their husbandes mynde
+unpleasaunt and lytell set bi corrupting the medecine that shuld haue
+cured al deadly greifes, & odible offēces.
+
+xantip. That is no newes to me.
+
+Eula. Though the woman shulde be well ware and wyse that she shulde
+neuer be disobedient vnto her husbād yet she ought to be most circūspect
+that at meting she shew her selfe redy and pleasaunt unto him.
+
+xantyppa. Yea vnto a man, holde well withall but I am combred with
+a beast.
+
+Eula. No more of those wordes, most commonly our husbādes ar
+euyll through our owne faute, but to returne againe vnto our taile they
+that ar sene in the olde fables of Poetes sai that Venus whome they make
+chiefe lady of wedlocke (hath a girdle made by the handy worke of Vulcan
+her Lorde, and in that is thrust al that enforceth love and with that she
+girdeth her whan so ever she lyeth wyth her housbande
+
+xantippa. A tale of a tubbe.
+
+Eulalya. A tayle it is, but herkē what the taile meaneth.
+
+xantippa. Tell me.
+
+Eulalia That techeth us that the wyfe ought to dyspose her selfe
+all the she maye that lieng by her husbād she shew him al the plesure
+that she cā; Wherby the honest love of matrimony may reuiue and be
+renewed, & that there with be clene dispatched al grudges & malice
+
+xant. But how shall we come by the thys gyrdle?
+
+Eula. We nede neyther wytchraft nor enchauntment, ther is non of
+them al, so sure as honest condiciōs accompayned with good feloshyp.
+
+xan. I can not fauoure suche an husbande as myne is.
+
+Eula, It is moste thy profyt that he be no longer suche. If thou
+couldest by thy Circes craft chaunge thin husband into an hogge, or a bore
+wouldest thou do it?
+
+xantip. God knoweth.
+
+Eu. Art thou in dout? haddest thou leauer marye an hogge than a mā.
+
+Xantip. Mary I had leauer haue a manne.
+
+Eulalia. wel, what and thou coudest by sorcery make him of a drōkarde
+a soober man, of a vnthrifte a good housbande of an ydell losell a towarde
+body, woldest thou not doe it?
+
+xantip. yes, hardely, woulde I doe it. But where shoulde I learne
+the cunnyng?
+
+Eula. For soth that cōning hast thou in the if thou wouldest
+vtter it, thyn must he be, mauger thy head, the towarde ye
+makest him, the better it is for the, thou lokest on nothing but on his
+leude cōdicions, and thei make the half mad, thou wouldest amende hym
+and thou puttest hym farther oute of frame, loke rather on his good
+condicions, and so shalt thou make him better. It is to late calagayne
+yesterdaie before thou were maryed unto hym. It was tyme to cōsyder
+what his fautes were for a women shold not only take her husbande by the
+eyes but by the eares. Now it is more tyme to redresse fautes thē to
+fynd fautes.
+
+xantt. What woman euer toke her gusband by the eares.
+
+Eulali. She taketh her husbande by the eyes that loketh on nothyng,
+but on the beautye and pulcritude of the body. She taketh him by the
+eares, that harkeneth diligētly what the common voice sayth by him
+
+xantip. Thy counsaile is good, but it commeth a day after the
+faire.
+
+Eula. Yet it commeth time ynough to bringe thyne husbande to a
+greate furtheraunce to that shall bee yf God sende you anie frute
+togither.
+
+xantippa. We are spede alredy of that.
+
+Eulaly. How long ago.
+
+Xantip. A good whyle ago
+
+Eulalia. How many monethes old is it.
+
+Xantip. It lacketh lytle of. vii.
+
+Eula What a tale is this, ye reken the monethes by nightes and
+dayes double.
+
+Xantippa. Not so.
+
+Eula. It can not be none other wyse, yf ye reken from the mariage
+day.
+
+xantippa. yea, but what thē, I spake with him before we were
+maried.
+
+Eulalia. Be children gotten by speakinge.
+
+xantip. It befell so that he mette me alone and begon to ticke at
+me, and tickled me vnder the arme holes and sydes to make me laugh. I
+might not awaie with ticklynge, but fell downe backewarde vpon a bedde and
+he a lofte, neuer leuinge kyssynge on me, what he did els I can not saye,
+but by sayncte Marie within a while after my bely beganne to swell.
+
+Eula. Go now and disprayse thine husbāde whiche yf he gette
+children by playe, what wyll he do whē he goeth to it in good ernest.
+
+xantippa, I fere me I am payed agayin.
+
+Eula. Good locke God hath sent a fruitfull grounde, a good tylmā.
+
+Xantip. In that thing he might haue lesse laboure and more thanke.
+
+Eula. Few wyues finde at theyr husbandes in that behalf but were ye
+thē sure togither.
+
+xanti. yea that we were
+
+Eula. The offence is the lesse. Is it a man chylde.
+
+xantip. yea.
+
+Eula. He shal make you at one so that ye wil bow & forbere.
+What saieth other mē by thin husband, they that be his cōpanions,
+they delite with him abrode
+
+xā, They say that he is meruelous gentyl, redy to do euery man
+pleasure, liberal and sure to his frende.
+
+Eula. And that putteth me in good cōfort that he wyll be ruled
+after our counsayll.
+
+xantip. But I fynde him not so.
+
+Eula. Order thy selfe to him as I haue tolde thee, and cal me no
+more true sayer but a lier, if he be not so good vnto the as to anie
+creature liuinge Again cōsidre this he is yet but a childe, I thinke
+he passethe not. xxiiij. the blacke oxe neuer trode on hys fote, nowe it
+is but loste laboure to recken vpon anye deuorse.
+
+xantippa. Yet manye a tyme and ofte I haue troubled my braynes
+withal
+
+Eulalia. As for that fantasye whensoeuer it commeth into your mynd
+first of all counte how naked a thynge woman is, deuorsed from man. It is
+the hyghest dignitie that longethe to the wyfe to obsequyous vnto her
+spouse. So hath natyre ordeined so god hath appoynted, that the woman
+shoulde be ruled al by the man loke onely vppon this whiche is trouth,
+thine husbande he is, other canste thou none haue. Againe forgette not
+that swete babe be gotten of both your bodies what thin beste thou to do
+with that, wilte thou take it awaye with thee? Thou shalte bereue thyne
+husband his ryght wylt thou leue it with hym? thou shalt spoile thy self
+of thy chefeste Jewell thou haste. Beside all this tell me trueth hast
+thou none euyll wyllers, Besyde all thys tell me trueth, hast thou none
+euyll wyllers.
+
+xan. I haue a stepdame I warrant you, and myne husbandes mother
+euen such another.
+
+Eula. Do they hate the so deadly.
+
+xantip. They woulde se me hanged.
+
+Eula. Thē forget not thē what greater plesure couldest
+thou shew them then to se the deuorsed from thine husband and to led a
+wydowes lyfe. Yea and worse thē a wydow, for wydowes be at their
+choise.
+
+xantippa. I holde well with youre coūsell, but I can not awaye
+with the paynes.
+
+Eulalia. yet recken what paines ye toke or ye colde teache your
+paret to speake.
+
+xantippa. Exceadynge much.
+
+Eu. And thinke you much to labour a lytel in reforming your husbād
+with whō you may liue merely all the dayes of your lyfe. What busines
+doe mē put thē self to be wel & easly horsed & shal we
+think our selues to good to take paines that we mai haue our husbādes
+gētil & curteise vnto vs.
+
+xantip. What shal I do.
+
+Eu. I haue told you al redy, se that al thing be clene & trim
+at home, that no sluttysh or vnclenlye syghtes dryue hym oute a dores. Be
+your selfe alwayes redy at a becke, berynge continuali in minde what reuerēce
+the wife oweth vnto her husbād. Be neyther in your dūpes, nor
+alwayes on your mery pinnes go nether to homely nor to nycely. Let your
+meat be cleane dressed, you know yourhusbādes diet. What he loueth
+best that dresse. Moreouer shewe your selfe louinge and fayre spokē
+vnto thē where he loueth, call them now and thē vnto your table.
+At meate, se that al thinges be well sauored, and make good there, And whē
+that he is toppe heuy playing on his lute, sytte thou by and singe to him
+so shalte thou make hym keepe home, and lessen hys expences This shall he
+thynke at length, in faythe I am a fonde felowe that maketh suche chere
+with a strumpet abroode with greate lossee bothe of substance and name,
+seyng that I haue a wyfe at home bothe muche fayrer, and one that loueth
+me ten times better, with whome I may be both clenlyer receiued and
+dayntelier cherisshed
+
+xantip. Beleuest thou that it will take and I put it into a profe.
+
+Eulali. Looke on me. I warrante it or ought longe I wyll in hande
+with thyne husbande, & I will tell hym his part.
+
+xantippa. ye marie that is well sayde. But be wyse that he espie
+not our casle, he would plaie his fages, all the house should be to lytle
+for hym.
+
+Eulalia. Take no thoughte. I shall so conuey my matters, that he
+shall dysclose all together hym selfe, what busynesse is betwene you, that
+done I wyll handell him pretelie as I thinke beste, and I truste to make
+him a new man for the and when I se my time I wyl make a lie for thee, how
+louinge thou hast spoken of him.
+
+xantippa. Chryst spede vs and bringe our pupose well aboute.
+
+Eulalia. He will not fayle the so thou do thy good wyll.
+
+There was a man that maried a woman whiche hadde great riches and beawtye.
+Howe bee it she hadde suche an impedyment of nature that she was domme and
+coulde not speake, whiche thynge made him ryghte pensyfe, and sayd,
+wherfore vpon a daye as he walked alone ryght heuye in hearte thynkynge
+vpon his wyfe. There came one to hym and asked him what was the cause of
+his heuynesse whiche answered that it was onely bycause his wife was borne
+dōme. To whome this other said I shal shewe the soone a remedy and a
+medicyne (therfore that is thus) go tak an aspen leafe and lay it vnder
+her tōge this night shee beinge a sleape, and I warrant the that shee
+shall speake on the morowe whiche man beyng glad of thys medycyne prepared
+therfore and gathered aspen leaues, wherfore he layd thre of them vnder
+her tonge whan shee was a sleape. And on the morow when he him selfe
+awaked he Desyrous to know how hys medicine wrought being in bed with her,
+he demaunded of her how she did, and sodēly she answered and sayd, I
+beshrewe thy harte for waking me so early, and so by the vertue of that
+medycyne she was restored to her speche. But in cōclusion her spech
+encresed day by day and she was so curst of cōdycyon that euery daie
+she brauled and chyd with her husbande, so muche at the laste he was more
+weped, and had much more trouble and disease wyth her shrewed wordes then
+he hadde before whē she was dumme, wherfore as he walked another time
+alone he happened to mete agayne with the same personne that taught hym
+the sayde medycine and sayde to hym thys wyse. Syr ye taught me a medicin
+but late to make my domme wyfe to speake, byddynge me lay an aspen leafe
+vnder her toūg when she sleapte, and I layde three Aspen leaves
+there. Wherfore nowe she speaketh. But yet she speaketh soo much & so
+shrewdlye that I am more werier of her now, then I was when she was dōme:
+Wherfore I praie you teache me a medycine to modyfye her that she speake
+not so muche. This other answered and sayd thus. Sir I am a deuyl of hel
+but I am one of thē that haue least power there. Al be yet I haue
+power to make a womā to speake, but and yf a woman begin ones to
+speake, I nor al the deuyls in hel that haue the mooste power be not able
+to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leue speakyng.
+
+The end of this pleasant dialogue declaryng the seueral properties of ye
+two contrary disposers of the wyues aforesayde.
+
+Imprinted at London in Paules
+ church yearde, at the sygne of
+ the
+Sunne, by Antony
+ Kytson.
+
+
+
+
+ [This section produced by David Widger]
+
+
+A mery Dialogue, declaringe the propertyes of shrowde shrewes, and
+honest wyues, not onelie verie pleasaunte, but also not a lytle
+profitable: made by ye famous clerke D. Erasmus. Roterodamus.
+Translated into Englyshe.
+
+A mery Dia-
+ logue, declaringe the propertyes
+ of shrowde shrewes,
+and ho-
+ nest wyues, not onelie verie
+ pleasaunte, but also not a
+
+lytle profitable: made
+ by ye famous clerke
+ D. Erasmus.
+
+Roteroda-
+ mus.
+ 
+ Translated into
+ Englyshe.
+ 
+
+Anno. M.CCCCC.
+ LVII.
+
+    Return to the first section without the original page images
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eulalia. God spede, & a thousand mine old acqueintāce.
+xantippa.
+
+xan. As many agayn, my dere hert. Eulalia. me semets ye ar
+warē much faire now of late.
+
+Eula. Saye you so? gyue you me a mocke at the first dash.
+
+xan. Nay veryly but I take you so.
+
+Eula. Happely mi new gown maketh me to loke fayrer then I
+sholde doe.
+
+xan. Sothe you saye, I haue not sene a mynioner this many
+dayes, I reken it Englishe cloth.
+
+Eu. It is english stuff and dyed in Venis.
+
+xan. It is softer then sylke what an oriente purpel colore
+here is who gaue you so rich a gift.
+
+Eu. How shoulde honeste women come by their gere? but by
+their husbandes.
+
+xā. Happy arte thou that hathe suche an husband, but I
+wolde to god for his passyon, that I had maryed an husband of
+clowts, when I had maried col my good mā.
+
+Eula. Why say ye so. I pray you, are you at oddes now.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xā. I shal neuer be at one wt him ye se how
+beggerly I go. I haue not an hole smock to put on my backe, and he
+is wel contente with all: I praye god I neuer come in heuen & I
+be not ashamed oftimes to shewe my head, when I se other wiues how
+net and trim they go that ar matched with farre porer mē then
+he is.
+
+Eula. The apparell of honest wiues is not in the aray of the
+body, nor in the tirements of their head as saynte Peter the apostle
+teacheth vs (and that I learned a late at a sermon) but in good
+lyuynge and honest conuersacion and in the ornamentes of the soule,
+the cōmon buenes ar painted up, to please manye mennes eies we
+ar trime ynough yf we please our husbands only.
+
+xan. But yet my good man so euyll wylling to bestow ought
+vpon his wyfe, maketh good chere, and lassheth out the dowrye that
+hee hadde with mee no small pot of wine.
+
+Eulaly, where vpon?
+
+xantipha, wheron hym lykethe beste, at the tauerne, at the
+stewes and at the dyce.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eulalia Peace saye not so.
+
+xan. wel yet thus it is, then when he cōmeth home to me
+at midnight, longe watched for, he lyeth rowtyng lyke a sloyne all
+the leue longe nyght, yea and now and thē he all bespeweth his
+bed, and worse then I will say at this tyme.
+
+Eulali. Peace thou dyshonesteth thy self, when thou doest
+dishonesteth thy husbād.
+
+xantip. The deuyl take me bodye and bones but I had leuer lye
+by a sow with pigges, then with suche a bedfelowe.
+
+Eulali. Doest thou not then take him vp, wel favoredly for stūbling.
+
+Xantip. As he deserueth I spare no tonge.
+
+Eulalia. what doth he thē.
+
+xantip. At the first breake he toke me vp vengeably, trusting
+that he shoulde haue shakē me of and put me to scilence with
+his crabid wordes.
+
+Eula Came neuer your hote wordes vnto hādstrokes.
+
+xantip. On a tyme we fel so farre at wordes yt we
+wer almost by ye eares togither.
+
+Eula what say you womā?
+
+xan. He toke vp a staffe wandryng at me, as the deuill had
+bene on hym ready to laye me on the bones.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eula. were thou not redye to ron in at the bēch hole.
+
+xanti. Nay mary I warrant the. I gat me a thre foted stole in
+hand, & he had but ones layd his littell finger on me, he shulde
+not haue founde me lame. I woulde haue holden his nose to the
+grindstōe
+
+Eulalia. A newe found shelde, ye wanted but youre dystaffe to
+haue made you a speare.
+
+xantip. And he shoulde not greatlye a laughed at his parte.
+
+Eulali. Ah my frynde. xantyppa. that way is neither good nor
+godly,
+
+xantippa what is neither good nor godly. yf he wyll not vse
+me, as hys wyfe: I wil not take him for my husbande.
+
+Eulalya. But Paule sayeth that wyues shoulde bee boner and
+buxome vnto their husbandes with all humylytye, and Peter also
+bryngethe vs an example of Sara, that called her husbande Abrahame,
+Lorde.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xantippa. I know that as well as you thē ye
+same paule say that men shoulde loue theyr wyues, as Christ loues
+his spouse the churche let him do his duete I wil do myne.
+
+Eula. But for all that, when the matter is so farre that the
+one muste forber the other it is reason that the woman giue place
+vnto the man,
+
+xan. Is he meete to be called my husbāde that maketh me
+his vnderlynge and his dryuel?
+
+Eula. But tel me dame xātip. Would he neuer offre the
+stripes after that
+
+xātip. Not a stripe, and therin he was the wyser man for
+& he had he should haue repented euery vayne in hys harte.
+
+Eulali. But thou offered him foule wordes plentie,
+
+xantip. And will do.
+
+Eula. What doth he ye meane seasō.
+
+xantip. What doth he sometyme cowcheth an hogeshed, somtime
+he doth nothing but stande and laughe at me, other whyle takethe hys
+Lute wheron is scarslie three strynges layenge on that as fast as he
+may dryue because he would not here me.
+
+Eula. Doeth that greue thee?
+
+xantippa. To beyonde home, manie a tyme I haue much a do to
+hold my handes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eula. Neighbour. xantip. wylt thou gyue me leaue to be playn
+with the.
+
+xantippa Good leaue haue you.
+
+Eula. Be as bolde on me agayne our olde acquayntaunce and
+amite, euen frō our chyldhode, would it should be so.
+
+xantippa. Trueth you saie, there was neuer woman kinde that I
+fauoured more
+
+Elaly Whatsoeuer thy husbād be, marke well this, chaunge
+thou canst not, In the olde lawe, where the deuill hadde cast aboone
+betwene the man and the wife, at the worste waye they myght be
+deuorsed, but now that remedie is past, euē till death depart
+you he must nedes be thy husbande, and thou hys wyfe,
+
+xan. Il mote they thryue & thei that taken away that
+liberty from vs
+
+Eulalia. Beware what thou sayest, it was christes act.
+
+Xā. I can euil beleue that
+
+Eula. It is none otherwyse, now it is beste that eyther of
+you one beyng with an other, ye laboure to liue at reste and peace.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xantyppa. Why? can I forgeue him a new,
+
+Eu. It lieth great parte in the womē, for the orderinge
+of theyr husbandes.
+
+xan. Leadest thou a mery life with thine.
+
+Eula Now all is well.
+
+xan. Ergo ther was somwhat to do at your fyrste metying
+
+Eula. Neuer no greate busynes, but yet as it, happeneth now
+and than betwene man & womā, there was foule cloudes a
+loft, that might haue made a storme but that they were ouer blowen
+with good humanitie and wyse handlynge. Euery man hath hys maner and
+euery mā hath his seueral aptite or mynde, and thinkes hys owne
+way best, & yf we list not to lie there liueth no mā
+without faulte, which yf anie were elles, ywis in wedlocke they
+ought to know and not vtterly hated
+
+xan, you say well,
+
+Eulalya. It happeneth many times that loue dayes breketh
+betwene man and wife, before ye one be perfitly knowē
+vnto the other beware of that in any wife, for when malice is ones
+begon, loue is but barely redressed agayne,
+
+[Illustration]
+
+namely, yf the mater grow furthe unto bytter checkes, & shamfull
+raylinges such things as are fastened with glew, yf a manne wyll all
+to shake them strayght waye whyle the glew is warme, they soone fal
+in peces, but after ye glew is ones dried vp they cleue
+togither so fast as anie thing, wherefore at the beginning a meanes
+must be made, that loue mai encrease and be made sure betwene ye
+man & the wife, & that is best brought aboute by gentilnesse
+and fayre condycions, for the loue that beautie onelie causeth, is
+in a maner but a cheri faire.
+
+Xan. But I praye you hartelye tell me, by what pollycy ye
+brought your good man to folow your daunce.
+
+Eula. I wyll tell you on this condicyon, that ye will folowe
+me.
+
+xan. I can.
+
+Eula, It is as easy as water if ye cā find in your hart
+to do it, nor yet no good time past for he is a yong mā, and
+you ar but agirle of age, and I trowe it is not a yere ful sins ye
+wer maried.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Xā All thys is true
+
+Eulalia. I wyll shew you then. But you must kepe it secret
+
+xantip. with a ryght good wyl.
+
+Eula. This was my chyefe care, to kepe me alwayes in my
+housbandes fauoure, that there shulde nothyng angre him I obserued
+his appetite and pleasure I marked the tymes bothe whan he woulde be
+pleased and when he wold be all byshrwed, as they tameth the
+Elephantes and Lyons or suche beastes that can not be wonne by strēgth
+
+xantyppa. Suche a beaste haue I at home.
+
+Eula. Thei that goth vnto the Elephantes weare no white
+garmentes, nor they that tame wylde bulles, weare no blasynge
+reedes, for experience teacheth, that suche beastes bee madde with
+those colours, like as the Tygers by the sound of tumbrels be made
+so wode, that thei plucke theymself in peces. Also thei yt
+breake horses haue their termes and theyr soundes theyr hadlynges,
+and other knackes to breake their wyldnes, wyth all.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Howe much more then is it oure duetyes that ye wyues to
+use suche craftes toward our husbandes with whō all our lyfe
+tyme wil we, nyl we is one house, and one bed.
+
+xantip. furthwith your tale.
+
+Eula, whē I had ones marked there thynges. I applied my
+selfe unto hym, well ware not to displease him.
+
+xantip. How could thou do that.
+
+Eulalya. Fyrste in the ouerseynge my householde, which is the
+very charge and cure of wyues, I wayted euer, not onely gyuynge hede
+that nothing shoulde be forgotten or undoone, but that althynges
+should be as he woulde haue it, wer it euer so small a trifle.
+
+xā. wherin.
+
+Eulalia. As thus. Yf mi good man had a fantasye to this
+thynge, or to that thyng, or if he would haue his meate dressed on
+this fashion, or that fashion.
+
+xan. But howe couldest thou fashyon thye selfe after hys wyll
+and mynde, that eyther woulde not be at home or elles be as freshe
+as a saulte heryng.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Elali. Abyde a while. I come not at that yet, yf my husband
+wer very sad at anye tyme, no time to speake to him. I laughed not
+nor tryfled him as many a woman doth but I looked rufully and
+heauyly, for as a glasse (if it be a true stone) representeth euer ye
+physnamy of hym that loketh in it, so lykewyse it becommeth a wedded
+woman alway to agre vnto the appetite of her husbande, that she be
+not mery whē he murneth, nor dysposed to play whē he is
+sad. And if that at any time he be waiward shrewshaken, either I
+pacyfye hym with faire wordes, or I let hym alone, vntyll the wynd
+be ouerblowen gyuing him neuer a word at al, vntil the time come
+that I may eyther excuse my faute, or tell hym of hys. In lyke wyse
+when he commeth home wel whitled, I gyue hym gentyll and fayre
+woordes, so with fayre entreatynge I gette hym to bed.
+
+xantyppa, O careful state of wyues, whē they muste be
+gladde and fayne to followe their husbandes mindes, be thei eluyshe,
+dronken, or doying what myschiefe they liste.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eula. As whoe saieth this gentill dealynge serueth not for
+bothe partyes, for they spyte of theyr berdes muste suffre many
+thynges in our demeanor, yet a time ther is, whē in a weighty
+matter it is laufull that the wyfe tell the good mā his faute,
+if that it be matter of substaunce, for at lyght trifles, it is best
+to play byll under wynge.
+
+xantyp. what tune is that
+
+Eula. when he is ydle, neither angry, pensife, nor ouersen,
+then betwixt you two secretly he must be told his faute gētly,
+or rather intreated, that in this thynge or that he play the better
+husbande to loke better to his good name and fame and to his helth
+and this tellyng must be myxt with mery conceites and pleasaunt
+wordes many times I make a meane to tel my tale after this fashyon,
+that he shall promise me, he shal take no displeasure wyth my
+thynge, that I a foolyshe woman shall breake vnto hym, that
+pertayneth eyther to hys helthe worshyppe or welth.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+When I haue sayde that I woulde, I chop cleane from that
+communication and falle into some other pastime, for this is all our
+fautes, neyghbour Xantippa, that whē we begyn ones to chat our
+tounges neuer lie.
+
+Xantip. So men say
+
+Eulalia. Thus was I well ware on, that I neuer tell my husbād
+his fautes before companie, nor I neuer caried any cōplaynte
+furthe a dores: the mendes is soner made whē none knoweth it
+but two, and there were anie suche faute that myght not be wel borne
+nor amēded by ye wyues tellige, it is more laudable
+that the wife make complaynte vnto the Parentes and kynsfolke of her
+husband, then vnto her own, and so to moderate her complaynte that
+she seme not to hate hym but hys vice nor let her play all the
+blabbe, that in some poynt vnutered, he may know & loue his
+wiues curteysy.
+
+Xantip. She had nede be aswellerned womā, that would do
+all this.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eu. Mary through suche demeanoure, we shall sterre our husbādes
+vnto lyke gentylnesse.
+
+Xan: There be some that cannot be amended with all the
+gentyll handlynge in the worlde.
+
+Eula: In faith I thyncke nay, but case there be, marke this
+wel the good man must be for borne, howe soeuer the game goeth, then
+is it better to haue him alwayes at one point or ells more kinde and
+louing throw oure gentill handlinge, then to haue him worse and
+worse throwe our cursednesse, what wyll you say and I tell you of
+husbādes that hath won theyr wiues by suche curtesie, howe
+muche more are we boūde to use the same towarde our husbandes.
+
+Xantip. Than shall you tell of one farre vnlyke vnto thyne
+husband.
+
+Eula. I am aquented with a certayne gentelman well lerned and
+a veri honest man, he maried a yonge wyfe, a mayden of. xvii. yeare
+olde brede and brought vp of a chylde in the countre vnder her
+fathers and mother wing
+
+[Illustration]
+
+(as gentilmen delite to dwel in the countre) to hunt & hawke
+This yong gētilman would haue one that were unbrokē,
+because he might the soner breake her after hys owne mind, he begā
+to entre her in learning syngynge, and playinge, and by lytle and
+lytle to vse here to repete suche thynges as she harde at sermons,
+and to instruct her with other things that myght haue doone her more
+good in time to come. This gere, because it was straūge vnto
+this young womā which at home was brought vp in all ydelnesse,
+and with the light communication of her fathers seruantes, and other
+pastimes, begā to waxe greuouse & paynfull, vnto her. She
+withdrew her good mynde and dylygence and whē her husband
+called vpon her she put ye finger in the eye, and wepte
+and many times she would fal downe on the grounde, beatynge her head
+agaynst the floure, as one that woulde be out of thys worlde.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+When there was no healpe for this gere, the good man as though he
+hadde bene wel asked his wyfe yf she woulde ryde into the countre
+with him a sporting vnto her fathers house, so that she graunted
+anone. When they were cōmē thyther, the gentilman left his
+wyfe with her mother & her sisters he wēt furth an huntynge
+with his father in lawe, there betwene theym two, he shewed al
+together, how that he hadde hoped to haue had a louynge companion to
+lead his lyfe withall, now he hath one that is alwaies blubberynge
+and pyninge her selfe awaye withoute anye remedie, he prayeth him to
+lay to hys hande in amendinge his doughters fautes her father
+answered yt he had ones giuen hym his doughter, and yf
+that she woulde not be rewled by wordes (a goddes name take
+Stafforde lawe) she was his owne. Then the gētylman sayd
+agayne, I know that I may do but I had leuer haue her amēded
+eyther by youre good counsell or commaundement,
+
+[Illustration]
+
+then to come vnto that extreme waies, her father promised that he
+would fynde a remedye. After a dai or two, he espied time and place
+whē he might be alone with his doughter. Then he loked soureli
+vpō his doughter, as though he had bene horne woode with her,
+he began to reherse how foule a beaste she was, how he feared many
+tymes that she neuer haue bestowed her. And yet sayde he much a doe,
+vnto my great coste and charg, I haue gottē the one that
+moughte lye by any Ladyes syde, and she were a quene and yet thou
+not perceiuying what I haue done for the nor knowynge that thou hast
+suche a man whiche but of his goodnes myghte thynke thee to euill to
+be stoye in his kytchen, thou contrariest al his mind to make a
+short tale he spake so sharpely to her, that she feared that he wold
+haue beaten her. It is a man of asubtyll and wylye wytte, whyche
+wythout a vysarde is ready to playe anye maner of parte.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Thē this yonge wife what for feare, and for trouthe of the
+matter, cleane stryken oute of countenaunce, fell downe at her
+fathers fete desyryng hym that he wolde forgette and forgiue her all
+that was past and euer after she woulde doe her duetye Her father
+forgaue her, and promised that she shoulde finde him a kynd and a
+louynge father, yf so be that she perfourmed her promyse.
+
+xantippa. How dyd she afterwarde?
+
+Eulalya, whē she was departed frō her father she
+came backe into a chaumber, and there by chaunce found her husband
+alone she fel on her knees to hym and said. Mā in tymes paste,
+I neyther knewe you nor my selfe, from this daye froward ye shall se
+me cleane chaunged, onelye pardon that is past, with that her
+husbande toke her in his armes & kyssed her sayinge she should
+lacke nothyng yf she woulde holde her in that mind.
+
+xantip. Why did she cōtinue so.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eulalya. Euen tyll her endynge daye, nor there was none so
+vyle a thynge but that she woulde laye handes on it redely with all
+her herte, if her husband wolde let her, so great loue was begō
+and assured betwene them and many a daye after, shee thanked god yt
+euer she met with such a mā. For yf she had not she sayd she
+had ben cleane caste awaye.
+
+xan. We haue as greate plentie of suche housbandes, as of
+white crowes.
+
+Eulalya. Now, but for werieng you? I coulde tell you a thynge
+that chaunced a late in this same citye.
+
+xantyppa. I haue litell to doe, and I lyke your communicacyon
+very well.
+
+Eulalia. There was a certaine gentilmā he as suche sort
+of men do, vsed much huntyng in the cuntre, where he happened on a
+younge damoysell, a very pore womās child on whō he doted
+a man well stryken in age, and for her sake he lay oftē out of
+his owne house his excuse was hūtîg. This mās wife
+an exceding honest womā, halfe deale suspecte the mater, tried
+out her husbandes falshed,
+
+[Illustration]
+
+on a tyme whē he had taken his iourney fourth of the town vnto
+some other waies, she wente vnto that poore cotage and boulted out
+all the hoole matter, where he laye on nights, wheron he drāke,
+what thyng thei had to welcō him withall. There was neither one
+thyng nor other, but bare walles. This good womā returned home,
+and sone after came againe brynginge wt her a good soft
+bed, and al therto belongyng and certain plate besydes that she gaue
+them moneye, chargynge them that if the Gentilmā came agayne,
+they shold entreate him better not beyng knowē al this while
+that she was his wyfe, but fayued her to be her sister. Not long
+after her husband stale thether againe, he sawe the howse otherwyse
+decked, and better fare then he was wounte to haue. He asked, frome
+whence commeth al this goodly gere? They sayde that an honeste
+matrone, a kynsewoman of hys hadde broughte it thyther and
+commaunded
+
+[Illustration]
+
+thenm that he should be well cherished when so euer he came, by and
+by his hart gaue him that it was hys wiues dede, whan he came home
+he demaūded of her yf she hadde bene there or nay, she sayd
+yea. Then he asked her for what purpose she sente all that housholde
+stuffe thyther. Man (said she) ye haue bē tenderly brought vp.
+I perceiued that ye were but corslie handled there, me thought that
+it was my part, seing it was your wyll and pleasure to be there ye
+shoulde be better loked to.
+
+Xantippa. She was one of goddes fooles. I woulde rather for a
+bed haue layd vnder him a bundel of nettels: or a burden of
+thistels.
+
+Eula. But here the end her husbande perceyuyng the honeste of
+her great pacience neuer after laye from her, but made good cheare
+at home with his owne. I am sure ye knowe Gilberte the holāder.
+
+Xan. Very well.
+
+Eu. He (as it is not vnknowē maried an old wife in his
+florishîg youth.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Xā. Per aduēture he maried the good and notthe
+woman.
+
+Eulalia. There sayde ye well, setting lytell stoore by hys
+olde wife, hunted a callette, with whom he kept much companie
+abrode, he dined or supped litell at home. What wouldest thou haue
+sayd to ye gere.
+
+Xantip. What woulde I a said? I wolde haue flowē to the
+hores toppe and I wolde haue crowned myne husbande at hys oute
+goinge to her with a pysbowle,that he so ēbawlmed might haue
+gon vnto his souerayne ladie.
+
+Eula. But how much wiselier dyd this woman? She desyred that
+yonge woman home vnto her, and made her good chere, so by that
+meanes she brought home also her husband without ani witchraft or
+sorserie, and yf that at anye season he supped abrode with her she
+would sende vnto them some good dayntie morsel, and byd him make
+good chere
+
+Xantippa. I had leuer be slayne then I woulde be bawde vnto
+myne owne husbande.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eulalia. Yea, but consyder all thynges well, was not that
+muche better, then she shoulde be her shrewyshnesse, haue putte her
+husbandes minde cleane of from her, and so haue ledde all her life
+in trouble and heuynesse.
+
+Xantippa. I graunte you well, that it was better so but I
+coulde not abyde it.
+
+Eulalya. I wyll tell you a prety story more, and so make an
+ende One of oure neyghboures, a well disposed and a goddes man, but
+that he is some what testie, on a day pomeld his wife well and
+thriftely aboute the pate and so good a woman as euer was borne, she
+picked her into an inner parler, and there weepynge and sobbynge,
+eased her heuye harte, anone after, by chaunce her husbande came
+into the same place, and founde hys wyfe wepyng. What sitest thou
+heare sayth he seighing & sobbîg like a child Thē she
+like a wise woman sayde. Is it not more honesty for me to lamente my
+dolours here in a secret place, thē to make wondering and on
+oute crye in the strete,
+
+[Illustration]
+
+as other womē do. At so wyfely and womanly a saing his hart
+melted, promysynge her faythfullye and truelie that he woulde neuer
+laye stroke on her afterwarde, nor neuer did.
+
+Xantippa. No more wil mine god thanke my selfe.
+
+Eulalya. But then ye are alwaies one at a nother, agreinge
+lyke dogges and cattes.
+
+Xan. What wouldest thou that I should do?
+
+Eu. Fyrst & formest, whatsoeuer thy husbande doeth sayde
+thou nothinge, for his harte must be wonne by lytell and litel by
+fayre meanes, gentilnesse and forbearing at the last thou shalte
+eyther wynne him or at the least waie thou shalt leade a better life
+thē thou doest now.
+
+Xantippa. He his beyonde goddes forbode, he wil neuer amende.
+
+Eulalia. Eye saye not so, there is no beest so wild but by
+fayre handling be tamed, neuer mistrust man thē. Assay a moneth
+or two, blame me and thou findest not that my counsell dooeth ease.
+There be some fautes wyth you thoughe
+
+[Illustration]
+
+thou se them, be wyse of this especyall that thou neuer gyue hym
+foule wordes in the chambre, or inbed but be sure that all thynges
+there bee full of pastyme and pleasure. For yf that place which is
+ordeined to make amēdes for all fautes and so to renew loue, be
+polluted, eyther with strife or grugynges, then fayre wel al hope of
+loue daies, or atonementes, yet there be some beastes so wayward and
+mischeuous, that when theyr husbandes hath them in their arms a bed,
+they scholde & chyde making yt same plesure their
+lewd condicions (that expelseth all displeasures oute of their
+husbandes mynde unpleasaunt and lytell set bi corrupting the
+medecine that shuld haue cured al deadly greifes, & odible offēces.
+
+xantip. That is no newes to me.
+
+Eula. Though the woman shulde be well ware and wyse that she
+shulde neuer be disobedient vnto her husbād yet she ought to be
+most circūspect
+
+[Illustration]
+
+that at meting she shew her selfe redy and pleasaunt unto him.
+
+xantyppa. Yea vnto a man, holde well withall but I am combred
+with a beast.
+
+Eula. No more of those wordes, most commonly our husbādes
+ar euyll through our owne faute, but to returne againe vnto our
+taile they that ar sene in the olde fables of Poetes sai that Venus
+whome they make chiefe lady of wedlocke (hath a girdle made by the
+handy worke of Vulcan her Lorde, and in that is thrust al that
+enforceth love and with that she girdeth her whan so ever she lyeth
+wyth her housbande
+
+xantippa. A tale of a tubbe.
+
+Eulalya. A tayle it is, but herkē what the taile
+meaneth.
+
+xantippa. Tell me.
+
+Eulalia That techeth us that the wyfe ought to dyspose her
+selfe all the she maye that lieng by her husbād she shew him al
+the plesure that she cā; Wherby the honest love of matrimony
+may reuiue and be renewed, & that there with be clene dispatched
+al grudges & malice
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xant. But how shall we come by the thys gyrdle?
+
+Eula. We nede neyther wytchraft nor enchauntment, ther is non
+of them al, so sure as honest condiciōs accompayned with good
+feloshyp.
+
+xan. I can not fauoure suche an husbande as myne is.
+
+Eula, It is moste thy profyt that he be no longer suche. If
+thou couldest by thy Circes craft chaunge thin husband into an
+hogge, or a bore wouldest thou do it?
+
+xantip. God knoweth.
+
+Eu. Art thou in dout? haddest thou leauer marye an hogge than
+a mā.
+
+Xantip. Mary I had leauer haue a manne.
+
+Eulalia. wel, what and thou coudest by sorcery make him of a
+drōkarde a soober man, of a vnthrifte a good housbande of an
+ydell losell a towarde body, woldest thou not doe it?
+
+xantip. yes, hardely, woulde I doe it. But where shoulde I
+learne the cunnyng?
+
+Eula. For soth that cōning hast thou in the if thou
+wouldest vtter it, thyn must he be, mauger thy head, the towarde ye
+makest him, the better it is for the,
+
+[Illustration]
+
+thou lokest on nothing but on his leude cōdicions, and thei
+make the half mad, thou wouldest amende hym and thou puttest hym
+farther oute of frame, loke rather on his good condicions, and so
+shalt thou make him better. It is to late calagayne yesterdaie
+before thou were maryed unto hym. It was tyme to cōsyder what
+his fautes were for a women shold not only take her husbande by the
+eyes but by the eares. Now it is more tyme to redresse fautes thē
+to fynd fautes.
+
+xantt. What woman euer toke her gusband by the eares.
+
+Eulali. She taketh her husbande by the eyes that loketh on
+nothyng, but on the beautye and pulcritude of the body. She taketh
+him by the eares, that harkeneth diligētly what the common
+voice sayth by him
+
+xantip. Thy counsaile is good, but it commeth a day after the
+faire.
+
+Eula. Yet it commeth time ynough to bringe thyne husbande to
+a greate furtheraunce to that shall bee yf God sende you anie frute
+togither.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xantippa. We are spede alredy of that.
+
+Eulaly. How long ago.
+
+Xantip. A good whyle ago
+
+Eulalia. How many monethes old is it.
+
+Xantip. It lacketh lytle of. vii.
+
+Eula What a tale is this, ye reken the monethes by nightes
+and dayes double.
+
+Xantippa. Not so.
+
+Eula. It can not be none other wyse, yf ye reken from the
+mariage day.
+
+xantippa. yea, but what thē, I spake with him before we
+were maried.
+
+Eulalia. Be children gotten by speakinge.
+
+xantip. It befell so that he mette me alone and begon to
+ticke at me, and tickled me vnder the arme holes and sydes to make
+me laugh. I might not awaie with ticklynge, but fell downe
+backewarde vpon a bedde and he a lofte, neuer leuinge kyssynge on
+me, what he did els I can not saye, but by sayncte Marie within a
+while after my bely beganne to swell.
+
+Eula. Go now and disprayse thine husbāde whiche yf he
+gette children by playe, what wyll he do whē he goeth to it in
+good ernest.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xantippa, I fere me I am payed agayin.
+
+Eula. Good locke God hath sent a fruitfull grounde, a good
+tylmā.
+
+Xantip. In that thing he might haue lesse laboure and more
+thanke.
+
+Eula. Few wyues finde at theyr husbandes in that behalf but
+were ye thē sure togither.
+
+xanti. yea that we were
+
+Eula. The offence is the lesse. Is it a man chylde.
+
+xantip. yea.
+
+Eula. He shal make you at one so that ye wil bow &
+forbere. What saieth other mē by thin husband, they that be his
+cōpanions, they delite with him abrode
+
+xā, They say that he is meruelous gentyl, redy to do
+euery man pleasure, liberal and sure to his frende.
+
+Eula. And that putteth me in good cōfort that he wyll be
+ruled after our counsayll.
+
+xantip. But I fynde him not so.
+
+Eula. Order thy selfe to him as I haue tolde thee, and cal me
+no more true sayer but a lier, if he be not so good vnto the as to
+anie creature liuinge Again cōsidre this he is yet but a
+childe, I thinke he passethe not.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xxiiij. the blacke oxe neuer trode on hys fote, nowe it is but loste
+laboure to recken vpon anye deuorse.
+
+xantippa. Yet manye a tyme and ofte I haue troubled my
+braynes withal
+
+Eulalia. As for that fantasye whensoeuer it commeth into your
+mynd first of all counte how naked a thynge woman is, deuorsed from
+man. It is the hyghest dignitie that longethe to the wyfe to
+obsequyous vnto her spouse. So hath natyre ordeined so god hath
+appoynted, that the woman shoulde be ruled al by the man loke onely
+vppon this whiche is trouth, thine husbande he is, other canste thou
+none haue. Againe forgette not that swete babe be gotten of both
+your bodies what thin beste thou to do with that, wilte thou take it
+awaye with thee? Thou shalte bereue thyne husband his ryght wylt
+thou leue it with hym? thou shalt spoile thy self of thy chefeste
+Jewell thou haste. Beside all this tell me trueth hast thou none
+euyll wyllers, Besyde all thys tell me trueth, hast thou none euyll
+wyllers.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+xan. I haue a stepdame I warrant you, and myne husbandes
+mother euen such another.
+
+Eula. Do they hate the so deadly.
+
+xantip. They woulde se me hanged.
+
+Eula. Thē forget not thē what greater plesure
+couldest thou shew them then to se the deuorsed from thine husband
+and to led a wydowes lyfe. Yea and worse thē a wydow, for
+wydowes be at their choise.
+
+xantippa. I holde well with youre coūsell, but I can not
+awaye with the paynes.
+
+Eulalia. yet recken what paines ye toke or ye colde teache
+your paret to speake.
+
+xantippa. Exceadynge much.
+
+Eu. And thinke you much to labour a lytel in reforming your
+husbād with whō you may liue merely all the dayes of your
+lyfe. What busines doe mē put thē self to be wel &
+easly horsed & shal we think our selues to good to take paines
+that we mai haue our husbādes gētil & curteise vnto
+vs.
+
+xantip. What shal I do.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Eu. I haue told you al redy, se that al thing be clene &
+trim at home, that no sluttysh or vnclenlye syghtes dryue hym oute a
+dores. Be your selfe alwayes redy at a becke, berynge continuali in
+minde what reuerēce the wife oweth vnto her husbād. Be
+neyther in your dūpes, nor alwayes on your mery pinnes go
+nether to homely nor to nycely. Let your meat be cleane dressed, you
+know yourhusbādes diet. What he loueth best that dresse.
+Moreouer shewe your selfe louinge and fayre spokē vnto thē
+where he loueth, call them now and thē vnto your table. At
+meate, se that al thinges be well sauored, and make good there, And
+whē that he is toppe heuy playing on his lute, sytte thou by
+and singe to him so shalte thou make hym keepe home, and lessen hys
+expences This shall he thynke at length, in faythe I am a fonde
+felowe that maketh suche chere with a strumpet abroode with greate
+lossee bothe of substance and name, seyng that I haue a wyfe
+
+[Illustration]
+
+at home bothe muche fayrer, and one that loueth me ten times better,
+with whome I may be both clenlyer receiued and dayntelier cherisshed
+
+xantip. Beleuest thou that it will take and I put it into a
+profe.
+
+Eulali. Looke on me. I warrante it or ought longe I wyll in
+hande with thyne husbande, & I will tell hym his part.
+
+xantippa. ye marie that is well sayde. But be wyse that he
+espie not our casle, he would plaie his fages, all the house should
+be to lytle for hym.
+
+Eulalia. Take no thoughte. I shall so conuey my matters, that
+he shall dysclose all together hym selfe, what busynesse is betwene
+you, that done I wyll handell him pretelie as I thinke beste, and I
+truste to make him a new man for the and when I se my time I wyl
+make a lie for thee, how louinge thou hast spoken of him.
+
+xantippa. Chryst spede vs and bringe our pupose well aboute.
+
+Eulalia. He will not fayle the so thou do thy good wyll.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a man that maried a woman whiche hadde great riches and
+beawtye. Howe bee it she hadde suche an impedyment of nature that
+she was domme and coulde not speake, whiche thynge made him ryghte
+pensyfe, and sayd, wherfore vpon a daye as he walked alone ryght
+heuye in hearte thynkynge vpon his wyfe. There came one to hym and
+asked him what was the cause of his heuynesse whiche answered that
+it was onely bycause his wife was borne dōme. To whome this
+other said I shal shewe the soone a remedy and a medicyne (therfore
+that is thus) go tak an aspen leafe and lay it vnder her tōge
+this night shee beinge a sleape, and I warrant the that shee shall
+speake on the morowe whiche man beyng glad of thys medycyne prepared
+therfore and gathered aspen leaues, wherfore he layd thre of them
+vnder her tonge whan shee was a sleape.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And on the morow when he him selfe awaked he Desyrous to know how
+hys medicine wrought being in bed with her, he demaunded of her how
+she did, and sodēly she answered and sayd, I beshrewe thy harte
+for waking me so early, and so by the vertue of that medycyne she
+was restored to her speche. But in cōclusion her spech encresed
+day by day and she was so curst of cōdycyon that euery daie she
+brauled and chyd with her husbande, so muche at the laste he was
+more weped, and had much more trouble and disease wyth her shrewed
+wordes then he hadde before whē she was dumme, wherfore as he
+walked another time alone he happened to mete agayne with the same
+personne that taught hym the sayde medycine and sayde to hym thys
+wyse. Syr ye taught me a medicin but late to make my domme wyfe to
+speake, byddynge me lay an aspen leafe vnder her toūg when she
+sleapte, and I layde three Aspen leaves there.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Wherfore nowe she speaketh. But yet she speaketh soo much & so
+shrewdlye that I am more werier of her now, then I was when she was
+dōme: Wherfore I praie you teache me a medycine to modyfye her
+that she speake not so muche. This other answered and sayd thus. Sir
+I am a deuyl of hel but I am one of thē that haue least power
+there. Al be yet I haue power to make a womā to speake, but and
+yf a woman begin ones to speake, I nor al the deuyls in hel that
+haue the mooste power be not able to make a woman to be styll, nor
+to cause her to leue speakyng.
+
+The end of this pleasant dialogue declaryng the seueral properties
+of ye two contrary disposers of the wyues aforesayde.
+
+Imprinted at London in Paules
+ church yearde, at the sygne of
+
+the Sunne, by Antony
+ Kytson.
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14282 ***