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diff --git a/14122-h/14122-h.htm b/14122-h/14122-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f0efa49 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/14122-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2089 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> +<head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> + + <title>Punch, December 5, 1891.</title> + <style type="text/css"> + /*<![CDATA[*/ + + <!-- + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + p {text-align: justify;} + blockquote {text-align: justify;} + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} + pre {font-size: 0.7em;} + + hr {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + html>body hr {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + hr.full {width: 100%;} + html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + hr.short {text-align: center; width: 20%;} + html>body hr.short {margin-right: 40%; margin-left: 40%; width: 20%;} + + .note, .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + + span.pagenum + {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;} + + .poem + {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + .poem p.i4 {margin-left: 2em;} + .poem p.i6 {margin-left: 3em;} + .poem p.i8 {margin-left: 4em;} + .poem p.i10 {margin-left: 5em;} + + .figure, .figcenter, .figright, .figleft + {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;} + .figure img, .figcenter img, .figright img, .figleft img + {border: none;} + .figure p, .figcenter p, .figright p, .figleft p + {margin: 0; text-indent: 1em;} + .figcenter {margin: auto;} + .figright {float: right;} + .figleft {float: left;} + + p.author {text-align: right;} + --> + /*]]>*/ + </style> +</head> + +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14122 ***</div> + + <h1>PUNCH,<br /> + OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.</h1> + + <h2>Vol. 101.</h2> + <hr class="full" /> + + <h2>December 5, 1891.</h2> + <hr class="full" /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page265" + id="page265"></a>[pg 265]</span> + + <h2>QUITE FABULOUS!</h2> + + <h4>(<i>A Story of the Times, dedicated to Professor + Munro.</i>)</h4> + + <p>KING COLE, although described as a "merry old soul," was in + reality a tyrant. He had a number of subjects who used to work + underground, and their labour was to bring to the surface the + black diamonds of the earth. It was not altogether a pleasant + occupation, but still, the task had to be accomplished. His + Majesty was fond of ferocious practical jokes, and perchance + this may have been the origin of the jocular description + attached to his name. One day, some of his subjects complained + that their hours of labour were too many.</p> + + <p>"How long do you work?" asked the King.</p> + + <p>"May it please you, Sire, sixteen," was the reply.</p> + + <p>"Try what you can do with twelve," and they were about to + depart rejoicing, when the Monarch called them back and added, + "But mind you, I shall expect just as many black diamonds to be + unearthed as before."</p> + + <p>So the King's subjects worked only twelve hours, and strange + to say, quite as many black diamonds were produced as in the + olden days. Then the workmen began to grumble once more, and + the King again interviewed them.</p> + + <p>"Do you still work twelve hours?" he asked the + deputation.</p> + + <p>"Certainly, Your Majesty; but we think half would be quite + enough," returned the spokesman.</p> + + <p>"By all means—why not make it three hours?" and again + his subjects were departing, rejoicing, when once more he + added, "But I shall expect just the same output as before."</p> + + <p>And he got it, for the men worked harder than ever. And then + they came yet again to him. Once more they considered the hours + of labour excessive. They thought sixty minutes plenty.</p> + + <p>"So do I," replied the Monarch, "not only plenty, but too + many. But as it is scarcely worth while employing you only half + an hour a day, I shall make other arrangements."</p> + + <p>And from that time forth he brought up his black diamonds + from the centre of the earth by machinery!</p> + <hr /> + + <p>NOT "HALF A CHAP."—A well-known Clergyman, who "does + nothing by halves." <i>i.e.</i>, Dean HOLE.</p> + <hr /> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:60%;"> + <a href="images/265-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/265-1.png" + alt="'WHEN A MAN DOES NOT LOOK HIS BEST.'—No. 4." /> + </a> + + <h3>"WHEN A MAN DOES NOT LOOK HIS BEST."—No. + 4.</h3>WHEN HE JUST BEGINS TO REALISE WHAT A SUFFERING HE + WOULD HAVE SAVED HIMSELF, IF HE HAD ONLY HAD THE + <i>COURAGE</i> TO SAY "<i>MEDIUM</i>" INSTEAD OF "HARD." + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.</h2> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:37%;"> + <a href="images/265-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/265-2.png" + alt="The Baron's Retainers, Mesdames Blythe and Gay, giving him the results of their readings." /> + </a>The Baron's Retainers, Mesdames Blythe and Gay, giving + him the results of their readings. + </div> + + <p>In the Christmas Numbers of the numerous picture-papers it + is at first rather difficult to discover which is the genuine + article illustrated, and which the advertisement, likewise + illustrated. In the outside picture of the Christmas Number of + <i>The Penny Illustrated Paper</i>, which represents a couple + dancing together, I am not yet quite sure that the handsome + Hebraic gentleman, dancing with a fair Anglo-Saxon girl, is not + assuring his frightened-looking partner that "Epps's Cocoa is + Grateful—Comforting," as stated in the paragraph + immediately beneath the aforesaid picture. On the next page is + a sad illustration entitled, "The Curse of Revenge. Lost to + Human Aid." which turns out to be not a Christmas story at all, + but an advertisement for Fruit Salt. Then opposite this + commences a story by GEORGE R. SIMS; and at the foot of this + page some one replies, "Mr. DOOLAN! There's no one of that name + here now, Sir." Whereupon, being interested, the reader turns + over page 1 to find at the head of page 2, not the continuation + of the above interesting story in the shape of some remark on + the part of the inquirer, nor any account of what happened + after this reply had been given, but simply "Benson's Watches" + followed by "Fry's Chocolate," then a picture (not an + advertisement) facing that, and then on page 4 the remainder of + the dialogue. It doesn't much matter perhaps, as the excitement + aroused by the story is not violent, and the mistake of giving + somebody else's card for your own does not occur here for the + first time as the motive of a plot. CUTHBERT BEDE's name is to + a "Christmas Carol," and Mr. JOHN LATEY's to a dramatically + told tale called "Mark Temple's Trial," in which the imaginary + heroine pays a visit to a very real person of the name of + Madame KATTI LANNER, whose pupils are represented as all + assembled, with bouquets and posies, to do honour to the + birthday of their "well-loved mistress," who is at the same + time, "the acknowledged mistress of the choreographic art." In + this story, the author is to be complimented on his invention + of the name, "Lord Morgagemore" as an ancient looking and + highly aristocratic Irish title.</p> + + <p>"Up to any game at Christmas, if it's not too high," says + the Baron of Hampershire, who detests all game that is lofty, + but is glad to welcome a Shakspearian Revival by MYERS & + Co. in the shape of a <i>Nine Men's Morris</i>, a title the + Baron recommends to the notice of Mr. WILLIAM MORRIS, yclept + "BILLY," when he is making another bouquet of poesies. By the + way, BIM BROS.' Almanac Cards, one of the Baron's Lady Helps + describes as "decidedly dainty." Christmas is specially a + card-playing season, a time of <i>Pax</i> to everybody.</p> + + <p>From the <i>Gordon Stables</i> of HUTCHINSON & Co. + issues the nightmare tale of <i>The Cruise in the Crystal + Boat</i>; when finished, try their <i>Family Difficulty</i>, by + SARAH DOUDNEY. Send to the Deanery of DEAN AND SON, ask for + <i>Baby's Biography</i> and <i>The Little One's Own + Beehive</i>. The Spindleside department of the Baron's + Booking-Office recommends both the above for the Tiny Trots; + while the Spearside tells the boys to go in for MANVILLE FENN's + <i>Burr Junior</i> and Mrs. R. LEE's <i>Adventures in + Australia</i>. Then for all-comers, procure BEATRICE HARRADEN's + <i>New Book of Fairies</i>, for, our "Co." thus puts it, "This + is all concerning those poor little Fairies, about whom no one + takes any trouble, and who are left out in the cold at + Christmas time." Thus for this week conclude the duties of + Mesdames BLYTHE and GAY, the Baron's Lady Assistant Perusers. + "I trust my gentle Public will benefit by their advice," + quoth,</p> + + <p class="author">Theirs truly,<br /> + THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page266" + id="page266"></a>[pg 266]</span> + + <h2>"NOW YOU'RE <u>QUITE</u> THE GENTLEMAN!"</h2> + + <h4>(<i>A Ballad of Birmingham.</i>)</h4> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>["You will not find an alliance in which the weaker side + has been so loyal, so straight, so single-hearted, so + patriotic as the Liberal Unionists have been during the + last five years.... Birmingham is the centre, the + consecration of this alliance."—<i>Lord Salisbury at + Birmingham.</i></p> + + <p>"Now I neither look for nor desire reunion" (with the + Gladstonian Liberals.)—<i>Mr. Chamberlain at + Birmingham.</i>]</p> + </blockquote> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:80%;"> + <a href="images/266.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/266.png" + alt="" /></a> + + <h4>AIR—"<i>Ye Gentlemen of + England</i>."<a id="footnotetag1" + name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a></h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Ye Gentlemen of England,</p> + + <p class="i2">Who follow SALIS-BU-RY,</p> + + <p>How little did you count upon</p> + + <p class="i2">Assistance from J.C.!</p> + + <p>Give ear unto his speeches old,</p> + + <p class="i2">And they will plainly show</p> + + <p>Once he'd scorn to be borne</p> + + <p class="i2">Where the Tory breezes blow,</p> + + <p class="i4">Where the Lilies and Primroses + bloom,</p> + + <p class="i4">And the Tory zephyrs blow.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>If once he did oppose you,</p> + + <p class="i2">To-day he is at war</p> + + <p>With GLADSTONE and his Items.</p> + + <p class="i2">Faith, JOE has travelled far!</p> + + <p>The Primrose Dames shall teach him</p> + + <p class="i2">True patriot "form" to know.</p> + + <p>He is leal, and will kneel</p> + + <p class="i2">To the "Lilies" in fair row;</p> + + <p class="i4">To the pretty, winsome Primrose + girls,</p> + + <p class="i4">Who buttonhole Brum JOE.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Ye Gentlemen of England,</p> + + <p class="i2">Whom once he did deride,</p> + + <p>How safe ye are, and how serene,</p> + + <p class="i2">With JOSEPH on your side.</p> + + <p>He talks no more of "Ransom"</p> + + <p class="i2">('Tis P-e-n-s-i-o-n rather now),</p> + + <p>Brum JOE will not go</p> + + <p class="i2">Where the Hawarden winds do blow;</p> + + <p class="i4">Where HARCOURT thunders loud and + long,</p> + + <p class="i4">And Gladstonians blare and blow.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>The Orchid from his button</p> + + <p class="i2">JOE's willing to displace,</p> + + <p>To take the Primrose posy</p> + + <p class="i2">That's proffered by Her Grace.</p> + + <p>O gentle dame and dainty,</p> + + <p class="i2">What man could answer "No!"</p> + + <p>As you prest to his breast</p> + + <p class="i2">The most blessed flowers that + blow,</p> + + <p class="i4">The blossoms loved by + BEACONSFIELD</p> + + <p class="i4">The bravest blooms that blow?</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>O (Brummagem) Tory Beauty,</p> + + <p class="i2">'Tis yours to consecrate</p> + + <p>The holiest Alliance</p> + + <p class="i2">Our land hath seen of late.</p> + + <p>Shall he reject its symbol,</p> + + <p class="i2">Or answer "Not for JOE!"?</p> + + <p>Nay, sweet girl, such a churl</p> + + <p class="i2">Were no "Gentleman" you know;</p> + + <p class="i4">And JOE is "quite the Gentleman,"</p> + + <p class="i4">Brum BRUMMEL in full blow!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Then courage, all brave Unionists,</p> + + <p class="i2">And never be afraid</p> + + <p>Whilst Brummagem Republican</p> + + <p class="i2">Is witched by Primrose Maid.</p> + + <p>There is soft fascination</p> + + <p class="i2">In radiant rank, we know;</p> + + <p>And a posy, though primrosy,</p> + + <p class="i2">From soft hands makes soft hearts + glow,</p> + + <p class="i4">Lilies—though they toil not nor + spin</p> + + <p class="i4">Are beauteous—in full blow!</p> + </div> + </div> + </div> + + <blockquote class="footnote"> + <a id="footnote1" + name="footnote1"></a><b>Footnote 1:</b> + <a href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a> + + <p>Mr. CHAMBERLAIN was once reported to have congratulated + himself upon his co-operation with "English Gentlemen."</p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page267" + id="page267"></a>[pg 267]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/267-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/267-1.png" + alt="Chappie and Old Stalker." /></a> + + <p><i>Chappie</i> (<i>after missing his fourth Stag, + explains</i>). "AW—FACT IS, THE—AW—WAVING + GRASS WAS IN MY WAY."</p> + + <p><i>Old Stalker.</i> "HOOT, MON, WAD YE HAE ME BEING OUT + A SCYTHE?"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>Lord Lytton.</h2> + + <h4>BORN NOV. 8, 1831. DIED NOV. 24, 1891.</h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Were clever wise, were grandiose great,</p> + + <p>How many a servant of the State</p> + + <p class="i2">Had left a more enduring name.</p> + + <p>But all is not for all; 'tis far</p> + + <p>From flaming meteor to fixed star,</p> + + <p class="i2">From notoriety to fame.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Picturesque son of brilliant sire,</p> + + <p>It wanted but the touch of fire</p> + + <p class="i2">Prometheus only knows to bring</p> + + <p>The flame divine in him to wake</p> + + <p>Who moved our plaudits when he spake,</p> + + <p class="i2">But stirred no passion when he'd + sing.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>The Orient pageantry he loved,</p> + + <p>The histrio not the hero moved,</p> + + <p class="i2">The <i>dilettante</i> not the sage.</p> + + <p>Hence in our England's East his hand</p> + + <p>Turned, in a story sternly grand,</p> + + <p class="i2">A motley mock-heroic page.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>He by the Seine found fitter place</p> + + <p>For courtly wit and modish grace,</p> + + <p class="i2">Than by the Indus. There right well</p> + + <p>His facile talent served his Chief;</p> + + <p>And England hears with genuine grief</p> + + <p class="i2">That sudden-sounding passing bell.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h3>New Name.</h3> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Who prizes Literature? All sorts and sizes</p> + + <p>Of literary wares now hang on "prizes."</p> + + <p>'Tis not prose fictionists or poem-spinners</p> + + <p>The public rush for; no, 'tis "all the winners!"</p> + + <p>Letters in lotteries find support most + sure—</p> + + <p>Let us be frank, and call them + <i>Lottery</i>ture!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>SUITOR RESARTUS.</h2> + + <h4><i>A Sentimental Dilemma.</i></h4> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:33%;"> + <a href="images/267-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/267-2.png" + alt="" /></a> + </div> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>How can I woo you in this ancient suit?</p> + + <p class="i2">You do not notice it, of course; I know + it.</p> + + <p>My soul is burdened with a shapeless boot,</p> + + <p class="i2">Your heart is singing welcome to your + poet.</p> + + <p>Here in the shadowy settle I can sit</p> + + <p class="i2">And sparkle with you, brightly + confidential,</p> + + <p>But when into the lamp-bright zone you flit,</p> + + <p class="i2">I shrink into some corner + penitential.</p> + + <p>A well-dressed crowd, their tailors all unpaid,</p> + + <p class="i2">Throng round you there, and cuffs and + collars glisten;</p> + + <p>Of pity's blindness, as of scorn, afraid,</p> + + <p class="i2">I shun the merry fray, and darkling + listen,</p> + + <p>For who could urge the timidest of suits,</p> + + <p class="i2">Conscious of such indifferent clothes and + boots?</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>You think me quite as good as other men;</p> + + <p class="i2">Nay, more, I think you think me vastly + better;</p> + + <p>Your candid glances seem to ask me when</p> + + <p class="i2">I'll seek to bind you in a willing + fetter.</p> + + <p>Is this presumption? Not from friend to friend,</p> + + <p class="i2">Whose souls unite like clasping hands of + lovers;</p> + + <p>Yet can I breathe no word of love, to end</p> + + <p class="i2">The delicate doubt that o'er the unspoken + hovers.</p> + + <p>If I were hopeless that you loved me not,</p> + + <p class="i2">My hopeless love, confess'd, myself would + flatter,</p> + + <p>But should the blissful dream be true, I wot</p> + + <p class="i2">That love confess'd the joy of love would + shatter.</p> + + <p>My Queen, indeed as king I'd love to lord it;</p> + + <p class="i2">I cannot tell you that I can't afford + it.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>POSSIBLE EXPLANATION:—"For many months nothing has + been heard of Lieutenant IVANITCH," was the remark of our + leading journal <i>à propos</i> of Russian disappearances. Is + it not probable that IVANITCH, unable to find a post to suit + him, has gone on tour with a "scratch company"?</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page268" + id="page268"></a>[pg 268]</span> + + <h2>THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS.</h2> + + <h3>No XVII.</h3> + + <blockquote> + <p>SCENE—<i>Under the Colonnade of the Hôtel Grande + Bretagne, Bellagio.</i> CULCHARD <i>is sitting by one of + the pillars, engaged in constructing a sonnet. On a + neighbouring seat a group of smart people are talking over + their acquaintances, and near them is another visitor, + a</i> Mr. CRAWLEY STRUTT, <i>who is watching his + opportunity to strike into the conversation.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>Mrs. Hurlingham.</i> Well, she'll <i>be</i> Lady + CHESEPARE some day, when anything happens to the old Earl. He + was looking quite ghastly when we were down at SKYMPINGS last. + But they're frightfully badly off <i>now</i>, poor dears! Lady + DRIBLETT lets them have her house in Park Lane for parties and + that—but it's wonderful how they live at all!</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:60%;"> + <a href="images/268.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/268.png" + alt="'I don't know if you're acquainted with a paper called the <i>Penny Patrician</i>?'" /> + </a>"I don't know if you're acquainted with a paper called + the <i>Penny Patrician</i>?" + </div> + + <p><i>Colonel Sandown.</i> He looked pretty fit at the Rag the + other day. Come across the SENLACS anywhere? Thought Lady + SENLAC was going abroad this year.</p> + + <p><i>Mr. Crawley Strutt.</i> Hem—I saw it mentioned in + the <i>Penny Patrician</i> that her Ladyship had—</p> + + <p><i>Mrs. Hurl.</i> (<i>without taking the slightest notice of + him</i>). She's just been marryin' her daughter, you + know—rather a good match, too. Not what I call + pretty,—smart-lookin', that's all. But then her + <i>sister</i> wasn't pretty till she married.</p> + + <p><i>Col. Sand.</i> Nice family she married into! Met her + father-in-law, old Lord BLETHERHAM, the other morning, at a + chemist's in Piccadilly—he'd dropped in there for a + pick-me-up; and there he was, tellin' chemist all the troubles + he'd had with his other sons marryin' the way they did, and + that. Rum man to go and confide in his chemist, but he's like + that—fond of the vine!</p> + + <p><i>Mr. C.S.</i> Er—er—it's becoming a very + serious thing, Sir, the way our aristocracy is deteriorating, + is it not?</p> + + <p><i>Col. S.</i> Is it? What have they been up to now, eh? + Haven't seen a paper for days.</p> + + <p><i>Mr. C.S.</i> I mean these mixed marriages, and, well, + their general goings on, I don't know if you're acquainted with + a paper called the <i>Penny Patrician</i>? I take it in + regularly, and I assure <i>you</i>—loyal supporter of our + old hereditary institutions as I am—some of the + revelations I read about in high life make me blush—yes, + downright <i>blush</i> for them! [Mrs. HURLINGHAM + <i>retires.</i></p> + + <p><i>Col. S.</i> Do they, though? If I were you I should let + 'em do their own blushin', and save my pennies.</p> + + <p><i>Mr. C.S.</i> (<i>deferentially</i>). No doubt you're + right, Sir, but I <i>like</i> the <i>Patrician</i> + myself—it's very smartly written. Talking of that, do you + happen to know the ins and outs of that marriage of young Lord + GOSLINGTON's? Something very mysterious about the party he's + going to marry—who <i>are</i> her people now?</p> + + <p><i>Col. S.</i> Can't say, I'm sure—no business of + mine, you know.</p> + + <p><i>Mr. C.S.</i> There I venture to think you're wrong, Sir. + It's the business of everybody—the <i>duty</i>, I may + say—to see that the best blood of the nation is + not—(Col. S. <i>turns into the hotel</i>; Mr. C.S. + <i>sits down near</i> CULCH.)—Remarkably superior set of + visitors staying here, Sir! My chief objection to travel always + is, that it brings you in contact with parties you wouldn't + think of associating with at home. I was making that same + remark to a very pleasant little fellow I met on the + steamer—er—Lord UPPERSOLE, I think it was—and + he entirely concurred. Your friend made us + acquainted.—(PODBURY <i>comes out of the + hotel</i>.)—Ah, here <i>is</i> your + friend.—(<i>To</i> PODB.)—Seen his Lordship about + lately, Sir?—Lord UPPERSOLE, I <i>mean</i>, of + course!</p> + + <p><i>Podb.</i> UPPERSOLE? No—he's over at Cadenabbia, I + believe.</p> + + <p><i>Mr. C.S.</i> A highly agreeable spot to stay at. Indeed, + I've some idea myself of—Exceedingly pleasant person his + Lordship—so affable, so completely the gentleman!</p> + + <p><i>Podb.</i> Oh, he's affable enough—for a boot-maker. + I always give him a title when I see him, for the joke of the + thing—he likes it.</p> + + <p><i>Mr. C.S.</i> He <i>may</i>, Sir. I consider a title is + not a thing to be treated in that light manner. It—it was + an unpardonable liberty to force me into the society of that + class of person—unpardonable, Sir!</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>He goes.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>Podb.</i> Didn't take much <i>forcing</i>, after he once + heard me call him "Lord UPPERSOLE"! Where are all the others, + eh? Thought we were going up to the Villa Serbelloni this + afternoon.</p> + + <p><i>Culch.</i> I—er—have not been consulted. Are + they—er—<i>all</i> going?</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>With a shade of anxiety.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>Podb.</i> I believe so. You needn't be afraid, you know. + HYPATIA won't have the chance of ragging you now—she and + Miss TROTTER have had a bit of a breeze.</p> + + <p><i>Culch.</i> I rather gathered as much. I think I could + guess the—</p> + + <p><i>Podb.</i> Yes, HYPATIA's rather uneasy about poor old + BOB; thinks Miss TROTTER is—well, carrying on, you know. + She is no end of a little flirt—<i>you</i> know that well + enough!—(C. <i>disclaims impatiently</i>.) Here you all + are, eh?—(<i>To</i> Miss P., Miss T., <i>and</i> + BOB.)—Well, who knows the way up to the villa?</p> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> It's through the town, and up some steps by + the church—you cann't miss it. But Mr. PRENDERGAST is + going to show me a short cut up behind the hotel—aren't + you, Mr. PRENDERGAST?</p> + + <p><i>Miss P.</i> (<i>icily</i>). I really think, dear, it + would be better if we all kept together—for so + <i>many</i> reasons!</p> + + <p><i>Culch.</i> (<i>with alacrity</i>). I agree with Miss + PRENDERGAST. A short cut is invariably the most indirect + route.</p> + + <p><i>Miss P.</i> (<i>with intention</i>). You hear what Mr. + CULCHARD says, my dear MAUD? He advocates direct ways, as best + in the long run.</p> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> It's only going to be a short run, my love. + But I'm vurry glad to observe that you and Mr. CULCHARD are so + perfectly harmonious, as I'm leaving him on your hands for a + spell. Aren't you ever coming, Mr. PRENDERGAST?</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>She leads him off, a not unwilling captive.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <h4><i>A Path in the Grounds of the Villa Serbelloni.</i></h4> + + <p><i>Podb.</i> (<i>considerately, to</i> CULCHARD, <i>who is + following</i> Miss PRENDERGAST <i>and him, in acute + misery</i>). Look here, old fellow, Miss PRENDERGAST would like + to sit down, I know; so don't you bother about keeping with us + if you'd rather <i>not</i>, you know!</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[CULCHARD <i>murmurs an inarticulate protest.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>Miss P.</i> Surely, Mr. PODBURY, you are aware by this + time that Mr. CULCHARD has a perfect mania for + self-sacrifice!</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[CULCHARD <i>drops behind, crushed.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <h4><i>Among the Ruins at the top of the Hill.</i></h4> + + <p><i>Culch.</i> (<i>who has managed to overtake</i> Miss T. + <i>and her companion</i>). Now <i>do</i> oblige me by looking + through that gap in the pines towards Lecco. I particularly + wish you to observe the effect of light on those + cliffs—it's well worth your while.</p> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> Why, certainly, it's a view that does you + infinite credit. Oh, you <i>didn't</i> take any hand in the + arrangement? But ain't you afraid if you go around patting the + scenery on the head this way, you'll have the lake + overflow?</p> + + <p><i>Bob. P.</i> Ha-ha-ha! One in the eye for <i>you</i>, + CULCHARD!</p> + + <p><i>Culch.</i> (<i>with dignity</i>). Surely one may express + a natural enthusiasm without laying oneself open—?</p> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> Gracious, yes! I should hope you wouldn't + want to show your enthusiasm <i>that</i> way—like a + Japanese nobleman!</p> + + <p><i>Culch.</i> (<i>to himself</i>). Now that's + coarse—<i>really</i> + coarse!—(<i>Aloud.</i>)—I seem to be unable to open + my mouth now without some ridiculous + distortion—</p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page269" + id="page269"></a>[pg 269]</span> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> My!—but that's a serious + symptom—isn't it? You don't feel like you were going to + have lock-jaw, do you, Mr. CULCHARD?</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[CULCHARD <i>falls back to the rear once more. + Later</i>—Mr. VAN BOODELER <i>has joined the + party</i>; HYPATIA <i>has contrived to detach her + brother</i>, CULCHARD <i>has sought refuge with</i> + PODBURY.</p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> (<i>to</i> VAN B.). So that's what kept you? + "Well, it sounds just too enchanting. But I cann't answer for + what Miss PRENDERGAST will say to it. It mayn't suit her + notions of propriety.</p> + + <p><i>Mr. Van B.</i> I expect she'll be superior to Britannic + prejudices of that kind. I consider your friend a highly + cultivated and charming lady, MAUD. She produces that + impression upon me.</p> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> I presume, from that, she has shown an + intelligent interest in the great American novel?</p> + + <p><i>Mr. Van B.</i> Why, yes; it enlists her literary + sympathies—she sees all its possibilities.</p> + + <p><i>Miss T.</i> And they're pretty numerous, too. But here + she comes. You'd better tell her your plan right now.</p> + + <p><i>Miss P.</i> (<i>in an earnest undertone to</i> BOB, <i>as + they approach, followed by</i> CULCH. <i>and</i> BOB). You + <i>must</i> try and be sensible about it, BOB; if <i>you</i> + are too blind to see that she is only—</p> + + <p>BOB (<i>sulkily</i>). All <i>right</i>! Haven't I + <i>said</i> I'd go? What's the good of <i>jawing</i> about + it?</p> + + <p><i>Mr. V.B.</i> (<i>to</i> Miss P.) I've been telling my + cousin I've been organising a little water-party for this + evening—moonlight, mandolins, Menaggio. If you find that + alliteration has any attractions, I hope you and your brother + will do me the pleasure of—</p> + + <p><i>Miss P.</i> I'm afraid not, thanks. We have all our + packing to do. We find we shall have to leave early + to-morrow.</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[Van B.'s <i>face falls</i>; BOB <i>listens gloomily + to</i> Miss T.'s <i>rather perfunctory expressions of + regret</i>; PODBURY <i>looks anxious and undecided</i>; + CULCHARD <i>does his best to control an unseemly + joy.</i></p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + + <h2>THE GOOD NEW "TIMES."</h2> + + <p>Nobody, after visiting Terry's Theatre, can apply to Mr. + PINERO's piece the hackneyed phrase,—used apologetically + by an unconscionable reader after detaining the leading journal + for three-quarters of an hour,—"Oh, there's nothing in + <i>The Times</i>," for, in Mr. PINERO's piece there is plenty + of amusement, if not of absorbing interest.</p> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:25%;"> + <a href="images/269-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/269-1.png" + alt="" /></a> + </div> + + <p>The story is that of a <i>parvenu</i>, whose sole object in + life, to be recognised by "Society," is thwarted by the + marriage of his good-for-nothing son with the daughter of an + Irish lodging-house keeper. The struggles of <i>Mr. and Mrs. + Bompas</i> to conceal this <i>mésalliance</i>, and the + assistance given them in their difficulties by the <i>Hon. + Montague Trimble</i>, constitute the motive of the play. But + the question that must occur to the critical mind is, "Did the + author mean this piece for high comedy, or farcical comedy?" If + the former, then Mr. TERRY is wrong in his conception of the + part; if the latter, everybody else is wrong in their + conception of their parts.</p> + + <p>It seems to me as if, in the course of rehearsal, the + peculiarities distinguishing the character of <i>Percy Egerton + Bompas, M.P.</i>, had gradually become assimilated with the + individualities of the actor, Mr. EDWARD TERRY. If Mr. PINERO + so meant it, if he so wrote it for Mr. TERRY and for Mr. TERRY + only, then there is nothing more to be said; Mr. PINERO's ideal + is realised. But if the author did <i>not</i> intend Mr. + TERRY's impersonation, then he must be content to sacrifice the + ideal to the real, shrug his shoulders, and pocket his profits. + Yet, as if making an appeal to the public to judge between the + auctorial abstract and the representational concrete, Mr. + PINERO not only publishes his playbook, but sells it in the + theatre. Visitors to TERRY's, who buy the book, will judge the + play by its stage interpretation that has had the advantage of + the author's personal supervision and direction. The + representation, therefore, is either more or less in accordance + with his teaching, or flatly contradicts it.</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/269-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/269-2.png" + alt="One or the Leaders in The Times." /></a>One of + the Leaders in <i>The Times</i>. + </div> + + <p>The publication of the book of a comedy in a theatre may be + thankfully received as a present help to the audience, and an + aid to memory afterwards, or it may be considered as a protest + on the part of the author who says, "Here's what I have + written. See how they act it: whether it be farce or comedy, + judge for yourselves. You pay your money, and you take your + choice." Suffice it, then, to record that, on the night of this + deponent's visit, the piece played from eight till past eleven, + and that the audience from first to last was generally amused, + but, I should be inclined to say, particularly disappointed at + the collapse of Mr. TERRY's part in the last Act (the principal + portion of which he passes curled up on a sofa, with the top of + his forehead powdered white! Why?), and mystified by the sudden + and apparently unnecessary revelation, made by <i>Miss + Cazalet</i>, to the effect that <i>Lucy Tuck</i> (a mentally + and physically short-sighted girl) is her illegitimate + daughter; and these two last-named personages, though essential + to the plot, fail unfortunately in rousing any sentiment of + pity or of sympathy.</p> + + <p>Mr. ELLIOT is excellent as the <i>Hon. Montague Trimble</i>; + nothing better, apart from Mr. HARE's eccentric characters, has + been seen on the stage for some considerable time. I hope the + author is of the same opinion. Mr. FRED THORNE is capital as + the Irish Member; and as <i>Mrs. Hooley</i>, an obtrusively + Irish eccentricity of Thackerayan extraction, Miss ALEXES + LEIGHTON is very good, for the character, as drawn by the + author, <i>is</i> obtrusive, and is so meant to be. The <i>Mrs. + Egerton Bompas</i> of Miss FANNY BROUGH is <i>the</i> woman to + the life, and, in my humble judgment, Miss BROUGH's + impersonation is well-nigh faultless. Whether, if the part of + <i>Egerton Bompas</i> were played as high comedy, this would + still improve Miss BROUGH's impersonation of <i>Mrs. Bompas</i> + or not, it is difficult to decide; but I am inclined to think + this would be the result. What does the author think? Most + likely he will continue to "think"; it is the wiser course. Mr. + HENRY V. ESMOND makes the lad, <i>Howard Bompas</i>, + unnecessarily repulsive; but if, in doing so, he is only + exactly carrying out the author's idea, <i>i.e.</i>, "Master's + orders," then he is no longer responsible for the overcharged + colouring. The probable fate of this unhappy pair, an impulsive + uneducated kind of Irish orange-girl married to a contemptible + young sot, is not a pleasant termination to the story, nor is + the anticipatory sadness felt for the future of this + ill-assorted couple in any way dissipated by the stereotyped + and perfunctory offer of marriage made by the young London + Journal Nobleman to the daughter of the utterly crushed snob + just before the Curtain descends.</p> + + <p>Why the piece is called <i>The Times</i>, remains a mystery. + <i>To-day</i> would have been better; that is, if by <i>The + Times</i> is only meant "The Present Day." And if it doesn't + mean this, what meaning has it? For alliterative advertisement + it may be useful; <i>e.g.</i>, "Times at TERRY's." The dialogue + generally is easy, natural and telling.</p> + + <p class="author">Yours,<br /> + PRIVATE BOX.</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>FOLLOW THE BARON!</h2> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>["Such characters as he should retire into fiction, they + are too exaggerated for real life."—<i>"Times" on Mr. + R.L. Stevenson's Sad Maron of Samou.</i>]</p> + </blockquote> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Oh, most excellent true! How I thank thee, great + <i>Times</i>,</p> + + <p class="i2">For teaching that phrase! 'Tis + delicious!</p> + + <p>Fiction! The haunt of mad follies, crass crimes,</p> + + <p class="i2">Fads futile, and tastes meretricious.</p> + + <p>Oh, joy, to transport to that Limbo of Fools,</p> + + <p class="i2">Upon trial and honest conviction,</p> + + <p>The plagues of our Parties, our Churches, our + Schools,</p> + + <p class="i2">Who ought to "retire into Fiction."</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>When WINDYWHAME, M.P., goes spouting about,</p> + + <p class="i2">His flatulent madness and malice;</p> + + <p>When SLUDGE, after years of dogmatical doubt,</p> + + <p class="i2">Finds Faith's Wonderland worthy of + <i>Alice</i>;</p> + + <p>When POPINJAY airs his effeminate Art,</p> + + <p class="i2">And DOBBS sputters dirt in choice + diction,</p> + + <p>Ye gods, there'd be joy in Church, Forum, and + Mart,</p> + + <p class="i2">If the fools would "retire into + Fiction."</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Pragmatical pietists, sceptics obtuse</p> + + <p class="i2">Who Progress impede with crude + cackle,</p> + + <p>Predestinate duffers of prattle profuse,</p> + + <p class="i2">Who the biggest world-problems would + tackle;</p> + + <p>State-quacks, shouting Emperors, queer School-Board + cranks,</p> + + <p class="i2">We'll give you our best benediction,</p> + + <p>And speed you at parting with heartiest thanks,</p> + + <p class="i2">If you'll only—"retire into + Fiction!"</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page270" + id="page270"></a>[pg 270]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/270.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/270.png" + alt="EMANCIPATION." /></a> + + <h3>EMANCIPATION.</h3><i>Young Bride of Three Hours' + standing</i> (<i>just starting on her Wedding + Trip</i>).—"OH, EDWIN DEAR! HERE'S '<i>TOM + JONES</i>.' PAPA TOLD ME I WASN'T TO READ IT TILL I WAS + MARRIED! THE DAY HAS COME ... AT LAST! BUY IT FOR ME, EDWIN + DEAR." + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>ARMING THE AMAZONS.</h2> + + <h4>(<i>Modern Brummagem Version.</i>)</h4> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>[At the meeting (at Birmingham) of the National Union of + Conservative and Constitutional Associations, a resolution + in favour of "considering the claims of women to be + admitted to the franchise when entitled by ownership or + occupation," was carried "by an overwhelming majority, amid + loud cheers." Mrs. FAWCETT afterwards said, "What new + forces were they (the Conservative Party) prepared to bring + against the anarchy, socialism and revolution which were + arrayed against them? The granting of women's suffrage + would be against the disintegrating power of the other + side, as women were everywhere anti-revolutionary + forces.... This would add about 800,000 to the electorate. + They would be, she believed, middle-aged women of property, + than whom she thought they could not assemble more + anti-revolutionary forces."]</p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>Trojan Leader loquitur</i>:—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>To arm the Amazons against the Greeks,</p> + + <p>OVIDIUS hints, proud manhood galls and piques.</p> + + <p>No doubt; yet NASO did it in his day,</p> + + <p>And we, in ours, who, sorely-pressed, would stay</p> + + <p>The rising tide of Revolution, check</p> + + <p>Disintegration, of the claws who'd peck</p> + + <p>At our political sleeves and platform hearts</p> + + <p>Must not be frightened.</p> + + <p class="i4">"Rummiest of starts,"</p> + + <p>The ribald Cockney cries; to see at length,</p> + + <p>"The Tory seeking to recruit his strength</p> + + <p>Prom those he dubbed, in earlier, scornfuller + mood</p> + + <p>The crowing hens, the shrieking sisterhood!"</p> + + <p>Shade of sardonic SMOLLETT, haunt no more</p> + + <p>St. Stephen's precincts; list not to the roar</p> + + <p>Of the mad Midland cheers, when FEILDING's plan</p> + + <p>Of levelling (moneyed) Woman up to Man</p> + + <p>Wins "Constitutional" support and votes</p> + + <p>From a "majority" of Tory throats!</p> + + <p>Mrs. LYNN LINTON, how this vote must vex,</p> + + <p>That caustic censor of her own sweet sex!</p> + + <p>Wild Women—<i>with</i> the Suffrage! Fancy + that,</p> + + <p>O fluent Lady, at tart nick-names pat!</p> + + <p>Girls of the Period? They were bad enough,</p> + + <p>But what a deal of skimble-skamble stuff</p> + + <p>Will Mrs. FAWCETT's Middle-aged Ones talk</p> + + <p>When these eight hundred thousand <i>hens</i> o' the + walk</p> + + <p>Cackle for Order, Purity, and Peace!!!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Partlets <i>may</i> save our Capitol, as geese</p> + + <p>Once did the Roman; nigh a million—JUNOS,</p> + + <p>Roll back the tide of Revolution. Who knows?</p> + + <p>Not PRIAM-SALISBURY. Does <i>he</i> look askance</p> + + <p>At the new Amazonian Queen's advance?</p> + + <p>Does he hide apprehension with a smile?</p> + + <p>The Amazons are used to Grecian guile;</p> + + <p>ACHILLES-GLADSTONE sorely they mistrust.</p> + + <p>Which side will give them more than fain it + must?</p> + + <p>To-day the Trojans show the friendlier front</p> + + <p>PENTHESILEA, whom the Greeks would shunt,</p> + + <p>Proffers her aid to Tory Troy, to keep</p> + + <p>High Ilium against the foes who creep</p> + + <p>Nearer and nearer to its sacred walls.</p> + + <p>ACHILLES o'er the trenches loudly calls,</p> + + <p>In menace fierce, thrasonic in his boast,</p> + + <p>His Myrmidons, a mad and motley host,</p> + + <p>Mean boundless mischief, the Palladium's gone</p> + + <p>If they are not repulsed. It <i>must</i> be + done,</p> + + <p>Come what, come will. PRIAM has trimmed his + sails</p> + + <p>To popular winds until the pilot fails</p> + + <p>To know the old and carefully charted course.</p> + + <p>His wisdom, and brave ARTHUR-HECTOR's force,</p> + + <p>May yet prove vain if no auxiliar hand</p> + + <p>Help yon Anarchic legions to withstand.</p> + + <p>The Amazonian host? Aha! Well hit!</p> + + <p>Scruple to take she-helping? Not a bit</p> + + <p>Too late for proud punctilio. No, this Queen</p> + + <p>Is not so lovely, of such royal mien,</p> + + <p>As hers who witched ACHILLES e'en in death.</p> + + <p>An elderly Amazon of shortish breath,</p> + + <p>With gingham huge and gig-lamps, though she hold</p> + + <p>That "Property" buckler broad and bossed with + gold</p> + + <p>Is scarce a Siren—of the ancient style;</p> + + <p>More of Minerva's frown than Venus' smile!</p> + + <p>But then, eight hundred thousand!!! There's the + rub.</p> + + <p>Recruited from the Platform and the Tub,</p> + + <p>With Middle-aged and Propertied Amazons,</p> + + <p>Ilium may master e'en the Myrmidons.</p> + + <p>Come, anti-revolutionaries, come!</p> + + <p>Strike Anarchy dead, and Socialism dumb!</p> + + <p>Accept new arms, ye maiden cohorts! Take</p> + + <p>The weapon that shall make ACHILLES shake,</p> + + <p>And reinforce, against the wiles of Greece,</p> + + <p>The powers of Property, Privilege, and Peace!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h3>OPTIMISM.</h3> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>"All's for the best," smirks fatuous DIVES. He</p> + + <p><i>Means</i>, "I'm the best, and therefore all's for + <i>me</i>."</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page271" + id="page271"></a>[pg 271]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/271.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/271.png" + alt="ARMING THE AMAZONS." /></a> + + <h3>ARMING THE AMAZONS.</h3> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>PRIAM (<i>loquitur</i>). "ACCEPT NEW ARMS, YE + MAIDEN COHORTS! TAKE</p> + + <p class="i10">THE WEAPON THAT SHALL MAKE ACHILLES + SHAKE,</p> + + <p class="i10">AND REINFORCE, AGAINST THE WILES OF + GREECE,</p> + + <p class="i10">THE POWERS OF PROPERTY, PRIVILEGE, + AND PEACE!"</p> + </div> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page273" + id="page273"></a>[pg 273]</span> + + <h2>ONLY FANCY!</h2> + + <p>We understand that Mr. GLADSTONE has followed, with much + interest, the speeches delivered in the country last week, and + was observed to be visibly affected at the touching spectacle + of the final reconciliation of Lord SALISBURY and Mr. + CHAMBERLAIN at Birmingham. "They toil not, neither do they + spin," he said, furtively wiping away a tear; "nevertheless, + they seem made for each other's company."</p> + <hr class="short" /> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:35%;"> + <a href="images/273.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/273.png" + alt="'A Fantasy of Disordered Imagination.'" /></a>"A + Fantasy of Disordered Imagination." + </div> + + <p>The Right Hon. Gentleman will take his turn next week, and a + report is current in interested quarters, that he as gone into + training under the personal direction of Sir WILLIAM HARCOURT + and Mr. JOHN MORLEY, who assist to support him whilst he + rehearses his speech. This is a fantasy of disordered + imagination. Mr. G. is in splendid form, spoiling for a + fight.</p> + <hr class="short" /> + + <p>A trustworthy Correspondent informs us that, owing to + accidental displacement of his notes, a telling point was + omitted from Lord SALISBURY's first speech at Birmingham. It + was intended to come in at the passage where the PREMIER boldly + flouted apprehension, of Ministerial disaster at the General + Election. He had meant to cite Mr. JACKSON's appointment as + conclusive proof that the Government would exist at least up to + the year 1900.</p> + + <p>"SHAKSPEARE," he should have said, "has written, 'a tanner + will last you nine year,' and of course the duration of the + Government will be co-incidental with the prolongation of the + term of our Financial Secretary to the Treasury, withdrawn from + commercial pursuits at Leeds."</p> + <hr class="short" /> + + <p>HERR VON DER BLOWITZOWN-TROMP has some interesting + reminiscences of the lamented Baron MAC HINERY. "When he was + appointed Legate at the Court of the Isle of Man," writes the + great historian of our times, "he dined with me in passing + through Nanterre. It was the very day the Marquis DE MOULIN had + been elected Pompier. The other guests were, His Excellency the + CON OF CRIM TARTARY, Prince ALLEZ-VOUS-EN, His Excellency the + VICUNA of BRAZIL, the SANDWICH AMBASSADOR, the DOGE of VENICE, + and the Baron MUNCHAUSEN, who was a kind of amateur partner of + mine, in whom I had much confidence—I always left him + with my day's correspondence ready to be committed to paper. In + the course of the dinner a stupid <i>garçon</i>, handing the + ice round, dropped a small piece down the back of the neck of + the DOGE of VENICE. With great presence of mind Baron + MUNCHAUSEN seized the poker (which fortunately happened to be + in the fire), and, with inimitable dexterity, passed the + red-hot brand between the DOGE's shirt-collar and his neck, + and, deftly touching the piece of ice, melted it. It was an + awkward moment. The canned lobster was just served, but no one + thought of eating it. The CON of CRIM TARTARY turning to Baron + MAC HINERY, said,—</p> + + <p>"You, my Lord, who are disinterested in this matter, tell us + what you think of it."</p> + + <p>"I think," replied the Baron, with admirable + <i>sangfroid</i>, "his Highness the DOGE would have felt better + if the ice had been warmer, and the poker cooler."</p> + + <p>Everybody laughed. The DOGE and Baron MUNCHAUSEN shook + hands, and the dinner ended gaily.</p> + <hr class="short" /> + + <p>RYMOND, writing <i>lui-même</i> with too infrequent pen, + makes pathetic reference to the death of "one of the largest + and best known purveyors of Rhine wine, with whom I have had + business relations and personal intercourse for nearly thirty + years." There is, we need hardly say, no basis for the + insinuation thrown out by HENED that the business relations + referred to were of the commission order sometimes established + between purveyors of Rhine and other wines and gentlemen who + have a wide circle of friends.</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>THEORY AND PRACTICE.</h2> + + <blockquote> + <p>SCENE—<i>Interior of a First-class Railway + Carriage. Theoretical Passenger and Practical Passenger + discussing the "Unreadiness of England."</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>Theoretical Passenger</i> (<i>at the conclusion of a long + account of the national shortcomings</i>). Yes, my dear Sir, + France has only to declare war to-morrow, and we are completely + ruined! We cease to exist as a nation!</p> + + <p><i>Practical Passenger</i> (<i>with a smile</i>). But hasn't + this been said about us—by ourselves—for any number + of years?</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> Doubtless, but that does not make it the + less true.</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> Possibly; still, it is encouraging to find + that we <i>do</i> exist in spite of the "temptation to belong + to other nations."</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> (<i>annoyed</i>). Ah! you treat the matter + with levity; but I assure you it is a most serious thing! How + would you like to be bombarded?</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> Not at all. The more especially as it + would be a great expense to the enemy.</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> (<i>with dignified resentment</i>). I see + you consider the subject a proper topic for raillery! It is a + very fine day!</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> (<i>in a conciliatory tone</i>). No, no, I + can assure you I am deeply interested. But how about our + Fleet—surely that should protect us?</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> You must be very much behind the age to + say so. Our Fleet is practically valueless. It is perfectly + easy to invade us at a dozen places. If the French went to + Ireland (as they did in the last century), the conquest of + England would be assured. They would (with the assistance of a + friendly peasantry), get their supplies and make good their + footing.</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> But how about our Army?</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> A farce! An expensive farce. We have no + Regulars, the Militia exists only on paper, and the Volunteers + are valueless.</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> Then why not have a + Conscription—that would bring up our Army with a run?</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> A Conscription! My dear Sir, the nation + wouldn't think of such a thing! No, not for a single + moment!</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> (<i>after a pause</i>). Well, what is to + be done?</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> (<i>promptly</i>). Nothing, except to + write to the papers and submit to our fate.</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> Is there any objection to the construction + of the Channel Tunnel?</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> (<i>carelessly</i>). None in the + least—but why do you ask?</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> Because, if in the case of war, the entire + French nation pours into England;—as you say it will?</p> + + <p><i>Theo. Pas.</i> Certainly.</p> + + <p><i>Prac. Pas.</i> The best thing we can do is to utilise the + Tunnel, pour into France, and stay there! It will be only + changing sides!</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>Conversation interrupted by whistle, and consequent + rattle and darkness.</i></p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + + <h2>THE SPHINX AND THE STICK.</h2> + + <h4><i>A Song wherein is suggested a suitable Subject for an + Ibsenite Tragedy.</i></h4> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>[Sir JAMES CRICHTON-BROWNE thinks that "the reserve and + suppression of emotional movement which is observed in + English people" will probably result in all the women + becoming sphinxes, and all the men sticks.]</p> + </blockquote> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>"Oh! do wag your head!" said the Sphinx to the + Stick.</p> + + <p>"I <i>can't</i>," he replied, "or I would, darling, + quick!</p> + + <p>If you'll only indulge in a shrug and some + winks,</p> + + <p>You'll perhaps set <i>me</i> off," said the Stick to + the Sphinx.</p> + + <p>"Nay, long 'inhibition,'" the Sphinx made reply,</p> + + <p>"Has imparted rigidity, love, to my eye."</p> + + <p>"'Emotional movement' no longer is mine,"</p> + + <p>Sighed the Stick to the Sphinx; "though I greatly + incline</p> + + <p>To a dig in your ribs, or a slap on your back</p> + + <p>(As a sign of my love), all my muscles are + slack.</p> + + <p>My poor 'motor-centres' are all out of gear,</p> + + <p>And I can't even 'chuck' your soft chin, sweet, I + fear.</p> + + <p>I'm sure such a stolid inflexible 'stick' you'll + hate,</p> + + <p>But, though I adore you, I <i>cannot</i> + gesticulate—"</p> + + <p>"My case is as bad," sighed the Sphinx to the + Stick,</p> + + <p>"For I cannot 'bridle'—no more than a + brick."</p> + + <p>Said the Stick to the Sphinx, "Ah, we once knew what + love meant!</p> + + <p>But, thanks to the loss of 'emotional movement,'</p> + + <p>We can't give it 'graceful and chastened + expression,'</p> + + <p>And so it seems slipping fast out of possession.</p> + + <p>Heigho! we had far better die, darling, quick!</p> + + <p>Since you are a Sphinx, love, and I'm but a + Stick!"</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>VERY LIKELY—JUST NOW.—A place to spend a Quiet + Sunday—Eastbourne.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page274" + id="page274"></a>[pg 274]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/274.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/274.png" + alt="MR. PUNCH ON TOUR IN YORKSHIRE." /></a> + + <h3>MR. PUNCH ON TOUR IN YORKSHIRE.</h3> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page275" + id="page275"></a>[pg 275]</span> + + <h2>"ON THE HYP"-NOTIST.</h2> + + <h4>(<i>Fragment from a Romance purely imaginary and yet to be + written.</i>)</h4> + + <p>The <i>Savants</i> were gathered together to consider the + question of Hypnotism. They had been appointed by a learned + Association, and their Hon. Secretary had distinguished himself + by writing a letter, which if eccentric in punctuation, was yet + to the point.</p> + + <p>"We must not forget, Gentlemen," said one of the learned + persons, "that we have been appointed to investigate the use of + Hypnotism as a therapeutic agent. It will be our duty to + ascertain, if it is possible, that operations can be performed + under the shield of its anæsthesia."</p> + + <p>"You are indeed right," replied another, "and it is + fortunate in one sense that we have not had the advantage of + greeting at our board, Doctor OWEN COLEMAN of Dunedin, + Surbiton."</p> + + <p>"Why so?" asked a third.</p> + + <p>"Because," returned <i>Savant</i> No. 2, "that distinguished + Member of the Medical Profession can give instances of + successful treatment under the prescribed circumstances. For + instance, JULES CLOQUET, as early as 1845 was using Hypnotism + in the cause of painless surgery. However, our pleasant little + gathering can do no harm."</p> + + <p>"Perhaps not," acquiesced <i>Savant</i> No. 3. "Although it + is only right to remark that had we had Dr. COLEMAN's + knowledge, we should have possibly considered it <i>qua</i> + Committee a trifle superfluous."</p> + + <p>"Do you not think we ought to visit the Aquarium?" asked the + first speaker. "I am told that there is a Hypnotist who appears + there twice a-day, and whose exhibition, from a scientific + point of view, should be decidedly interesting."</p> + + <p>After this there was a speedy departure, and for some hours + the Committee lounged about the Aquarium, They there saw a + female acrobat of great strength. Then they paid a visit to the + Alhambra, where they met a pleasant young lady, who, seemingly + without any assistance, lifted four or five bulky gentlemen + seated on a chair. This she did without any exertion and with a + smiling countenance. On their return to their private room, + they seemed somewhat hostile to the pretensions of the + Hypnotist, whose feats they had just witnessed—they + preferred to his performances the feats of the Magnetic + Lady.</p> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:30%;"> + <a href="images/275-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/275-2.png" + alt="" /></a> + </div> + + <p>"Quite a mistake," said one; "instead of taking off a leg, + or showing the strength of a billiard cue, he makes men believe + that they are swimming in a tank!"</p> + + <p>"Very undignified," remarked another; "it would have been so + much better had he performed a surgical operation—say, + setting a compound fracture of the leg, like that performed by + two medical men in 1845; and more interesting to the vast + majority of the audience."</p> + + <p>"But the Alhambra was excellent," was the reply. "Suppose we + send to our Committee a Report of the 'Magnetic Lady' and + ignore the Hypnotist?"</p> + + <p>And so it was decided, and it was time to write their + Report. Then pens, ink, and paper were produced, and the + <i>Savants</i> prepared for work. They had scarcely commenced, + when a gentleman stood in their midst, and glared at them. He + gave them each a disc, and commanded them to gaze upon its + surface. Then, one by one, they fell over fast asleep. He + placed them back in their chairs.</p> + + <p>"Now for your Report," he murmured. "And so you would ignore + <i>my</i> show and praise another! But you are in my power, and + <i>shall</i> obey me! Write what I dictate!" And so they wrote. + And, strange as it may appear to non-believers in Hypnotism, + the Report, when published, was found to be an excellent + advertisement for the Royal Westminster Aquarium!</p> + <hr /> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:60%;"> + <a href="images/275-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/275-1.png" + alt="SENILE FELINE AMENITIES." /></a> + + <h3>SENILE FELINE AMENITIES.</h3> + + <p>"WELL, GOOD AFTERNOON—I'M GOING TO CALL ON MY + MOTHER!"</p> + + <p>"WHAT! YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY YOU'VE GOT A MOTHER + <i>LIVING</i>?"</p> + + <p>"OH YES—AND SHE DON'T LOOK A BIT OLDER THAN + <i>YOU</i> DO—I ASSURE YOU!"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>OUR FINANCIAL COLUMN.</h2> + + <p class="author"><i>Orl Court, E.C.<a id="footnotetag2" + name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a></i></p> + + <p>I am preparing a big <i>coup</i>, and wish all my friends to + be in it. My friends are legion, it is true, but they may + depend upon me to do the best for all. Nothing on the gigantic + scale I am now preparing has been seen or heard of in the + Financial World since the days of the Flood, when NOAH's + floating capital weathered the storm. What was the stock worth + when Father NOAH once again touched land? Expect the biggest + result ever known. I may be sanguine. I have the right to be + so.</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/275-3.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/275-3.png" + alt="" /></a> + </div> + + <p>"PONY."—Yes. Buy A. and C.N.B.—Invest big cheque + with yours truly. The only safe and profitable investment.</p> + + <p>"D.A.H."—Don't you do it, or you'll be H.A.D. Send + cheques here. Strict account kept, and gains delivered in cash + by special messenger.</p> + + <p>"A HESITATER."—Don't doubt for a moment. Sell + everything right off, and invest proceeds by cheque with your + friend."</p> + + <p>"A.S.S."—The Dividend days of the "<i>Ex-Nihilo-Fit + Loan and Insurance Company</i> are April 1, up to mid-day, and + September 31.</p> + + <p>So much for some of the principal Correspondents who require + an answer in my weekly article. As for myself, I can only say + that my motto is, "<i>Confidentia Illimitata et Nulla Pecunia + redditur</i>." Within the last month the gross earnings of the + office on behalf of my clients has been £12,345,678,910 which + compares favourably with the previous month. Every penny of + this, equal to 50 per cent. profit to every one of my clients, + will be distributed within a week with a handsome bonus of + twenty-five pounds to everyone sending in his coupon or cheque + for fifteen sovereigns by twelve o'clock next Tuesday, after + which hour it is impossible for any one, be he who he may, from + Kaiser to Chimney-sweeper, to participate in the enormous + profit which will have been honestly earned by</p> + + <p class="author">Yours truly,<br /> + CROESUS.</p> + + <blockquote class="footnote"> + <a id="footnote2" + name="footnote2"></a><b>Footnote 2:</b> + <a href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a> + + <p>N.B.—Note change of address.</p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + + <p>SHORTLY TO APPEAR.—<i>A Morning without Boots</i>, by + the Author of <i>A Knight without Spurs</i>.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page276" + id="page276"></a>[pg 276]</span> + + <h2>POPULAR SONGS RE-SUNG;</h2> + + <h3>OR, MISS BOWDLER AT THE MUSIC HALLS.</h3> + + <h3>No. III.—THE SPOOKS IN THE SQUARE.</h3> + + <h4>AIR—"<i>The Goblins in the Churchyard</i>."</h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>I went down to the Psychical Society one night,</p> + + <p>And heard them talk of Spooks and things that filled + me with affright.</p> + + <p>The Psychical Society, as every member boasts,</p> + + <p>Was founded with the object of investigating + Ghosts!</p> + + <p>Now Ghosts, the modern species, are of very various + sorts,</p> + + <p>For like some plants, as botanists say, they seem to + run to "sports."</p> + + <p>I used to think a spectre <i>was</i> a spectre, but + I find</p> + + <p>The "Psychical" can furnish Spooks of every class + and kind.</p> + </div> + </div> + + <h4><i>Chorus.</i></h4> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:40%;"> + <a href="images/276.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/276.png" + alt="" /></a> + </div> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Some of the Ghosts are little, some of the Ghosts + are big,</p> + + <p>Some come in the guise of a headless man, and some + of a spectre pig.</p> + + <p>Some of them laugh "Ha! ha!" Some of them wail + "Heigho!"</p> + + <p>And I felt that night in a doose of a fright before + it was time to go.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>I had read <i>Phantasmagoria</i> by that writer + quaint but grand,</p> + + <p>Who penned <i>The Hunting of the Snark</i> and + <i>Alice in Wonderland</i>.</p> + + <p>And I thought I knew a thing or two, or might be + even three,</p> + + <p>About a Ghoul, and a Fay or Troll, and a Brownie or + Banshee.</p> + + <p>I knew that a Banshee always howled, whilst a Goblin + might but yawn,</p> + + <p>I also knew that a Poltergeist was <i>not</i> a + Leprechaun,</p> + + <p>But the Psychicals, I'm bound to say, had me on + "buttered toastes"</p> + + <p>With the wonderful changes which they rang on the + good old Churchyard "Ghostes."</p> + </div> + </div> + + <h4><i>Chorus.</i></h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Some of their Ghosts were sages, some of them seemed + sheer noddies;</p> + + <p>Some of the same like a "Wandering Flame," and + others as "Astral Bodies."</p> + + <p>Some of theirs croaked "Ha! ha!" some of them + chuckled "Ho! ho!"</p> + + <p>And I got so sad, I was heartily glad when I found + it was time to go.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>I dropped into the "Rose and Crown," a highly + respectable tavern,</p> + + <p>For Ghosts are dry, and my thirst was high, my + throat like a chalky cavern.</p> + + <p>I didn't have much, only four of cold Scotch, which + is good to moisten chalk.</p> + + <p>The night was fine, it was twelve twenty-nine, so I + thought I might just as well walk.</p> + + <p>But when I entered Trafalgar Square, I heard a + mysterious sound;</p> + + <p>There was not even a Bobby in sight as I stole a + glance around;</p> + + <p>But seated on NELSON's lions four, and perched on + the neighbouring "posteses,"</p> + + <p>I saw, as we said in our Nursery Rhyme, a dozen or + so of "Ghosteses"!</p> + </div> + </div> + + <h4><i>Chorus.</i></h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Some of the Ghosts were short, some of the Ghosts + were tall,</p> + + <p>Some of them had most preposterous noddles, and some + of them none at all,</p> + + <p>They all gave a shrill "Ha! ha!" they all gave a + hushed "Ho! ho!"</p> + + <p>I turned in a fright and I wished 'em good + night—but they would not let me go!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Then one of the Ghosts began to speak; down on my + knees I sank,</p> + + <p>"I am a Nobleman's Ghost," said he, "and mine + offence is Rank!</p> + + <p>I never cared for the Common Herd, the People I + loved to crush;</p> + + <p>My only remark on the Poor was 'Pooh!' my retort to + the Toilers 'Tush!'</p> + + <p>And if they dared to grumble, why, I used to raise + my rents,</p> + + <p>For I always held that the Mob were made to keep up + the Cent-per-cents,</p> + + <p>And now in this Square I hear BURNS's blare, see the + Red Banner wave,</p> + + <p>And Society swished by the Socialist; so I cannot + rest in my grave."</p> + </div> + </div> + + <h4><i>Chorus.</i></h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Another Ghost commenced. He said: "I was a great + R.A.</p> + + <p>(I remember the time when we used to meet in "the + pepper-pots," over the way),</p> + + <p>My daubs were always hung on the line, for ourselves + we used to judge,</p> + + <p>Our sole Ideal conventional cant, our + <i>technique</i> broad brown smudge.</p> + + <p>And now BURNE JONES's pictures + <i>sell</i>!!!"—here he writhed with a spectral + twist—</p> + + <p>"And our 'broad brown smudge' gives way to the fudge + cranks call 'Impressionist.'</p> + + <p>I've lost my head, as perhaps you mark—though + I keep a ventriloquist tongue.</p> + + <p>What's the use of a head to an Artist Ghost, who has + never a chance to be hung?"</p> + </div> + </div> + + <h4><i>Chorus</i>—Some of the Ghosts, &c.</h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>A Lawyer's Ghost wept on his post, and then began to + state</p> + + <p>That the Revolution of Sixty-eight—he meant of + Six-<i>and</i>-eight—</p> + + <p>For the abolition of needless fees, and the stopping + of useless jaw,</p> + + <p>Had capped the murder of Privilege by the massacre + of Law:</p> + + <p>Order, this Spook went on to state, was the prey of + police—less prank,</p> + + <p>All the real jam of life was lost with the abolition + of Rank.</p> + + <p>Here he wept! Ah! <i>can</i> there be a sight a + pitiful breast to thrill</p> + + <p>Like the Ghost of a Lawyer dropping a tear o'er the + Ghost of a Lawyer's Bill?</p> + </div> + </div> + + <h4><i>Chorus</i>—Some of the Ghosts, &c.</h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>I woke. A pain possessed my head. The gathered + Ghosts were gone,</p> + + <p>And I lay there in Trafalgar Square, on a cold stone + alone.</p> + + <p>I seemed to hear a wailing cry, a whisper on the + breeze,</p> + + <p>Which said, in accents I well knew, "<i>Now then, + Time, Gentlemen, please</i>!"</p> + + <p>It may have been the warning to recall those vagrant + Ghosts</p> + + <p>To —— wheresoever they abide, poor + pallid spectral hosts!</p> + + <p>What it all meant I cannot tell, but this at least I + know,</p> + + <p>To that Psychical Society no more at night I'll + go!</p> + </div> + </div> + + <h4><i>Chorus.</i></h4> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Some of the Ghosts did goggle, some of the Spooks + did stare,</p> + + <p>But there they sat in a spectral row round "the + Squirts" in Trafalgar Square.</p> + + <p>They all gave a loud "Ha! ha!" they all gave a loud + "Ho! ho!"</p> + + <p>And I turned and fled, and got home to bed as the + rooster began to crow!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>THE NAKED TRUTH.—Our old friend, Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM, was + reading, the other day, a letter in the <i>Times</i> about + "Electrical Tramways," when she came upon a line stating that + "two naked conductors" would be used. Much shocked, she was + about to look at something else in the paper when she noticed + that "one of the conductors was to be carried on poles," and + another to be "laid rigid between the rails!" Horrified at this + apparent brutality, the worthy lady has been writing letters + (in draft) to the Commissioner of Police ever since!</p> + <hr /> + + <h3>A Friendly Tip to the Fighting Factions.</h3> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Recrimination is vexation,</p> + + <p class="i2">Sedition is as bad;</p> + + <p>Home Rule the-o-ry much puzzles J.B.</p> + + <p class="i2"><i>Such</i> practice proves <i>you</i> + mad!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>A TIMELY SUGGESTION.—Commenting upon the exceptionally + bad case of the Rev. Mr. CLUTTERBUCK last week, the + <i>Times</i> asks if something cannot be done to put down + betting by turf-agencies, and stock-exchange gambling per + "bucket-shops." We regret our inability to suggest an immediate + remedy, but, as a warning and a reminder, let the last-named + institutions be called "Clutterbucket-shops."</p> + <hr /> + + <p>NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, + whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any + description, will in no case be returned, not even when + accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or + Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.</p> + <hr class="full" /> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14122 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/14122-h/images/265-1.png b/14122-h/images/265-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..afd2acc --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/265-1.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/265-2.png b/14122-h/images/265-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e547b93 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/265-2.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/266.png b/14122-h/images/266.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e95db23 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/266.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/267-1.png b/14122-h/images/267-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..731431c --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/267-1.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/267-2.png b/14122-h/images/267-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1a5c9bc --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/267-2.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/268.png b/14122-h/images/268.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0e0f2a7 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/268.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/269-1.png b/14122-h/images/269-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e5d7219 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/269-1.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/269-2.png b/14122-h/images/269-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..671be0f --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/269-2.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/270.png b/14122-h/images/270.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7d155fa --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/270.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/271.png b/14122-h/images/271.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..28a61d9 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/271.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/273.png b/14122-h/images/273.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5f31b7d --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/273.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/274.png b/14122-h/images/274.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..306d56f --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/274.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/275-1.png b/14122-h/images/275-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..10c12e4 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/275-1.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/275-2.png b/14122-h/images/275-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cef7710 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/275-2.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/275-3.png b/14122-h/images/275-3.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5174120 --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/275-3.png diff --git a/14122-h/images/276.png b/14122-h/images/276.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4d2d54c --- /dev/null +++ b/14122-h/images/276.png |
