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+Project Gutenberg's Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living, by H.W. Long
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living
+       Some Things That All Sane People Ought To Know About Sex Nature And
+       Sex Functioning; Its Place In The Economy Of Life, Its Proper Training
+       And Righteous Exercise
+
+
+Author: H.W. Long
+
+Release Date: August 12, 2004 [EBook #13161]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SANE SEX LIFE AND SANE SEX LIVING ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Michael Ciesielski, Melissa Er-Raqabi, Joshua Hutchinson
+and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+SANE SEX LIFE AND SANE SEX LIVING
+
+
+SOME THINGS THAT ALL SANE PEOPLE OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT SEX NATURE AND
+SEX FUNCTIONING; ITS PLACE IN THE ECONOMY OF LIFE, ITS PROPER TRAINING
+AND RIGHTEOUS EXERCISE
+
+H.W. LONG, M.D.
+
+
+_AUTHORIZED EDITION_
+
+
+EUGENICS PUBLISHING CO., INC.
+
+NEW YORK
+
+1919
+
+MADE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
+
+
+
+TO MY FELLOW-MEMBERS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION INTO WHOSE HANDS THIS
+BOOK MAY COME, AND TO ALL WHO MAY READ IT UNDER THEIR DIRECTION, THIS
+VOLUME IS MOST SINCERELY DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR.
+
+
+
+NOTE TO THE READER
+
+IN ORDER TO GAIN A CORRECT IMPRESSION OF THE BOOK, IT IS ESSENTIAL
+THAT IT BE READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END WITHOUT ANY SKIPPING
+WHATSOEVER. ONCE READ, IT CAN BE RE-READ, HERE AND THERE, AS THE
+READER MAY DESIRE. BUT FOR A FIRST READING, IT IS THE EARNEST WISH
+OF THE AUTHOR THAT EVERY WORD BE READ, FOR IN NO OTHER WAY CAN THE
+PURPOSE OF THE BOOK BE REALIZED.
+
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+
+As we have moved down the ages, now and then, from the religious
+teacher, the statesman, the inventor, the social worker, or from the
+doctor, surgeon, or sexologist, there has been a "_vox clamantis in
+deserto_." Usually these voices have fallen on unheeding ears; but
+again and again some delver in books, some student of men, some
+inspired, self-effacing, or altruistic one has taken up the cry; and
+at last unthinking, unheeding, superficial, self-satisfied humanity
+has turned to listen.
+
+Aristotle by the sure inductive method learned and taught much,
+concerning the sex relations of men and women, that it would profit
+us today to heed. Balzac, Luther, Michelet, Spencer, and later, at
+our very doors, Krafft-Ebbing, Forel, Bloch, Ellis, Freud, Hall, and
+scores of others have added their voices. All these have seen whither
+we were drifting, and have made vigorous protests according to their
+lights. Many of these protests should have been heard, but were not,
+and only now are just beginning to be heeded. Such pioneers in the
+field of proper, healthful, ethical, religious, sane daily sex living,
+have been Sturgis and Malchow, who talked earnestly to an unheeding
+profession of these things, and now, I have the honor to write
+an introductory word to a book in this field, that is sane, wise,
+practical, entirely truthful, and unspeakably necessary.
+
+I can endorse the teachings in Dr. Long's book more fully because I
+have, for nearly a quarter of a century, been holding similar views,
+and dispensing similar, though perhaps less explicit, information.
+I know from long observation that the teaching is wholesome and
+necessary, and that the results are universally uplifting. Such
+teachings improve health, prolong life, and promote virtue, adding to
+the happiness and lessening the burdens of men, on the one hand; on
+the other, reducing their crimes and vices. A book like this would
+have proved invaluable to me on my entrance to the married state; but
+had I had it, I might not have been forced to acquire the knowledge
+which enables me now to state with all solemnity, that I personally
+know hundreds of couples whose lives were wrecked for lack of such
+knowledge, and that I more intimately know hundreds of others to
+whom verbal teaching along the lines he has laid down, has brought
+happiness, health and goodness.
+
+Dr. Long advances no theories; neither do I. He has found by studying
+himself and other people, a sane and salutary way of sex living, and
+fearlessly has prescribed this to a limited circle for a long time. I
+congratulate him for his perspicacity, temerity, and wisdom. He offers
+no apology, and there is no occasion for any. He says, "All has been
+set down in love, by a lover, for the sake of lovers yet to be, in the
+hope of helping them on toward a divine consummation." That is, he has
+developed these ideas at home, and then spread them abroad, or, he has
+found them abroad and brought them home; and they worked.
+
+I also speak somewhat _ex experientia_ and have some intimate personal
+knowledge of many of these things. Therefore, I advocate his doctrine,
+the more readily, and maintain that humanity needs these ideas as
+much today as when M. Jules Lemaitre wrote his late introduction to
+Michelet's _L'Amour_. He said: "_Il ne parait pas, apres quarante ans
+passes, que les choses aillent mieux, ni que le livre de Michelet
+ait rien perdu de son a-propos_." Twenty years more have elapsed
+and things have not yet become much better. Frank sex talks like Dr.
+Long's teaching are as a-propos today as was Michelet's book when it
+was written, or when, after forty years had passed M. Lemaitre wrote
+his introduction.
+
+Idealism is right, and we all approve it; so much so, that many of us
+cannot see that ultra-idealism, extremism in right, (it is foolish
+to attempt to attain anything better than the best) may be wrong.
+Undoubtedly, entire devotion to the material and physical, is also
+wrong; but we never must lose sight of the palpable fact that, unless
+we have a proper, stable, natural, well-regulated physical or
+material foundation, we must fall short of all ideals. Proper physical
+adjustments enable the realization of realizable ideals. Unrealizable
+ideals are chimeras pursued into futurity, while a world that should
+be human and happy waits in vice and misery. I gather that Dr. Long
+believes that reducing this vice and misery, and increasing human
+happiness and improving health are suitable works with which to
+companion a faith in the Arbiter of our destinies.
+
+If thus he develops his idea of the integrity of the universe, I agree
+with him fully. His book, since it delineates the numerous details of
+a normal sex life, can be sold, thanks to our prudish public, only to
+the profession. I believe it should go to the larger public as it has
+gone formerly to his smaller community.
+
+In spite of imperfect ideals the Orient has endured, while we of the
+Occident are fast becoming decadent. We, by learning something of
+the art of love, and of the natural life of married people, from the
+Hindoos, may perpetuate our civilization. They, by adopting the best
+of our transcendentalism, may reach higher development than we yet
+have attained.
+
+The time has come for a book like this to command the attention of
+medical men, since now an awakened public demands from them, as the
+conservers of life and the directors of physiological living, explicit
+directions in everything pertaining to the physician's calling, not
+omitting the intimate, intricate, long taboo and disdained details of
+sex life and procreation.
+
+W.F. ROBIE, M.D.
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+By Dr. W.F. Robie, author of "The Art of Love"
+
+Need for facts about sex and love--Present ignorance of sex
+relations--Sex information improves health, prolongs life, promotes
+virtue, adds to happiness--Frank talks needed--This book describes
+details of normal sex life, describes art of love, gives explicit
+instructions pertaining to intimacies of sex life.
+
+
+FOREWORD
+
+
+Answers problems of sex life in the delicate relations of
+marriage--Most people too timid to reveal reasons for their sexual
+difficulties--Knowledge in a book less embarrassing to gain--Never
+before could people find facts they wanted to know most--This book
+prepared especially to help husbands and wives to live wholesome sex
+lives--Gives them facts all married people should know--Explains
+how to use that information to make marriage a success--Especially
+valuable for newlyweds if read on honeymoon--Those now married who do
+not get on well together will find in this book relief from suffering
+and woe.
+
+
+EXPLANATORY INTRODUCTION
+
+
+Wrong teachings about sex--Children brought up in ignorance on sex
+matters--No information given by parents, schools, churches--But
+children will find out even if they go to wrong sources--Some one must
+tell the truth--This book does it.
+
+
+THE ARGUMENT AND THE INFORMATION
+
+
+Until recently it was a crime to give knowledge concerning sex
+relations--Sex knowledge denied through selfishness or prudery--This
+is wrong because sex is of highest importance to human beings--Ills,
+crimes, misfortunes are result when people are forced to be ignorant
+of knowledge they need--Condemned to suffer tortures when they might
+enjoy delights--Sex is clean and natural--At last sex knowledge may
+be given freely--Advice in this book gained from personal and
+professional experience.
+
+
+THE CORRECT MENTAL ATTITUDE
+
+
+Definite information now given which will help husbands and wives
+to find perpetual and increasing happiness all their lives--Duty of
+brides and grooms to acquaint themselves with each other's sexual
+needs--No man or woman should be ashamed of the sexual make-up--They
+should be proud of their sexual functions and virility--Read the book
+without shame or shock--Gaining honest truth about these matters is
+most essential to life.
+
+
+THE SEX ORGANS
+
+
+Male sex organs are penis and testicles--Size and form of penis when
+at rest and during sexual excitement--Position of testicles--Why one
+teste is larger--Pubic regions in men and women.
+
+Female sex organs are vulva, vaginal passage, womb, and
+ovaries--Length of vaginal passage compared with distended penis--Size
+and formation of womb--Position of ovaries.
+
+
+FUNCTION OF THE SEX ORGANS
+
+
+Primary purpose of sex in the human race--Life is the result of union
+of two forces--Birth the same in human beings as in other forms of
+life--Process of conception in female--How female ovum is fertilized
+by male--When puberty begins and ends in women.
+
+Menstruation, its cause and meaning--When ovum may be
+impregnated--Origin of sperm in man--Purpose of prostate gland--What
+semen is--For birth of new life union of male and female sex organs
+necessary--Glans penis in man and clitoris in woman are "exciting"
+focal points--Climax of coitus.
+
+Use of sexual organs to produce offspring same in mankind as in
+animals--One way in which human beings differ from animals in sex
+relations--Coitus possible in animals only in "rutting" season--In
+human beings coitus enjoyable at any time--What this difference means
+to happiness--The basis of real success in marriage--Married people
+can reach highest conditions of wedlock when they know and practice
+what is right in sex--No "rights" conferred in sex relations through
+the ceremony of marriage.
+
+Different views of sexual relations for purpose of happiness--Padlocks
+to prevent exercise of sexual functions--Effect of falsehoods about
+sex relations--Innocent brides and goody-good husbands--Differences
+of opinion by brides and grooms lead to terrible wrongs on marriage
+night--False teaching often results in the "rape of the wedding
+night"--How definite knowledge prevents this shock to bride and makes
+for perfect bliss--The second kind of coitus reserved only for human
+beings can bring highest physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
+
+
+THE ACT OF COITUS
+
+
+Coitus consists of four parts or acts--Where ninety-nine
+one-hundredths of all married troubles begin--Usually husband's fault
+due to ignorance or carelessness.
+
+First part of act of coitus--Difference between men and women in time
+needed for sexual readiness--Women usually slower--Prostatic flow
+and pre-coital secretion--Coitus harmful when either partner not fully
+ready for sexual union--Taking time most important feature--Special
+information for newlyweds--Woman's fear of "something new" and of
+pregnancy--Husband should not insist upon "rights"--Evils which
+follow this wrong attitude--True marriage based on mutual love--Key
+to married happiness--Married love needs continual care by husband and
+wife--Instructions for performing first part of act of coitus.
+
+Second part of act of coitus--Many positions possible--Best
+position--Instructions for performing second part of act of coitus.
+
+Third part of act of coitus--A common mistake made by many wives,
+especially young brides--Need for complete freedom on part of
+woman--Length of time required--Skill and intensity needed by husband
+and wife--Instructions for performing third part of act of coitus.
+
+Fourth and final part of act of coitus--When done correctly greatest
+of all human experiences--What happens to the man--What occurs in the
+woman--No connection with possibility of pregnancy--Designed by nature
+especially for woman's satisfaction and pleasure--Special instruction
+for husband and wife--Review of all the four parts of the act of
+coitus.
+
+
+THE FIRST UNION
+
+
+Special conditions which must be considered when bride is to
+have first sexual congress--Her state of mind--Need for better
+acquaintance--What both bride and groom should know about the woman's
+sex organs; where located, parts, how constructed, sensitivity--How
+shape and size of mouth indicate shape and size of woman's sex organs.
+
+The hymen or "maidenhead"--Meaning of its presence or absence--How
+it may be removed without danger or pain--First union should be
+accomplished by mutual desire and effort--Chances of conception in
+coitus--Desire for children.
+
+The right to have children when wanted--A matter of choice--Difference
+between infanticide, abortion and prevention of pregnancy--How husband
+and wife can tell when there is no danger of impregnation--A rule
+of coitus which should never be violated--What information about
+pregnancy may be gained from menstrual period--Most women have two
+weeks of "free time" each month--Freedom from fear an accomplishment
+which adds to happiness of marriage.
+
+
+THE ART OF LOVE
+
+
+Must be learned and mastered because partners in marriage often
+not matched physically or psychically--Ordinary cases of physical
+mismatching--Difference in size of sex organs may produce unfortunate
+results--How to discover physical mismatching--How to correct
+it--Instructions for overcoming physical mismatching.
+
+Psychical mismatching--Differences between men and women cause for
+great dissatisfaction if not known and corrected--Instructions for
+correcting psychical mismatching if husband is at fault; if wife is
+at fault--Extending time of first part of coitus--Inducing pre-coital
+flow in woman--Essential that first part of coitus be continued until
+woman is ready for second part--Necessity for husband to know ways to
+extend time of third part of coitus--"Keeping the cap on"--What wife
+can do to correct physical and psychical mismatching.
+
+Sex stimulation is right and wholesome--Instructions if normal sex
+relations are impossible--Special information on sex stimulation for
+brides and grooms--Valuable addition to sex knowledge.
+
+
+COITUS RESERVATUS
+
+
+A mental and spiritual love embrace--Fulfillment of
+courting--Specially valuable during time when woman is not
+"free"--Value of sexual stimulation if not carried to excess.
+
+Frequency of coitus--Men who wear themselves out--Women who wear out
+their husbands--Mismatching in sexual temperament and desire--How
+to correct it--Women who are anesthetic to sexual desire, and how to
+overcome it--Impotence in men.
+
+How late in life can coitus be practiced with benefit to
+health--Danger of withholding sex functioning--Sex organs able to
+function until late in life--Sexual desires in women after "change in
+life"--Proof that Art of Love must be learned and that it can bring
+lifelong happiness.
+
+
+CLEANLINESS
+
+
+Need for keeping body clean, sexual reaction--Parts of body woman
+should be specially careful to keep clean--Portion of body man should
+be specially careful to clean--Effect of mouth and armpit odors.
+
+
+PREGNANCY
+
+
+Complete home with children supreme attainment of life--Begetting
+children should be deliberate choice by parents--Proper time for
+begetting children--Danger of waiting too long to have children--When
+first child should be born--At what age of parents should children be
+born.
+
+Is coitus wise during pregnancy--How the Art of Love provides for
+this time--Passions of women during period of pregnancy--Criminal for
+husband to compel coitus upon wife unless desired by her.
+
+
+CONCLUSION
+
+
+Book written with purpose of helping lover on towards divine
+consummation--Two final instructions--Become master of the Art of
+Love--Learn science of Procreation.
+
+About married people who cannot have children--A guide to
+happiness--Chief facts of true marriage.
+
+
+
+
+FOREWORD
+
+_To Members of the Medical Profession into Whose Hands This Book May
+Come_:
+
+
+The following pages are more in the nature of a manuscript, or
+heart-to-heart talk between those who have mutual confidence in each
+other, than of a technical, or strictly scientific treatise of the
+subject in hand; and I cannot do better, for all parties concerned,
+than to explain, just here in the beginning, how this came about,
+and why I have concluded to leave the copy practically as it was
+originally written.
+
+In common with nearly all members of our profession who are engaged
+in the general practice of medicine, I have had numbers of married men
+and women, husbands and wives, patients and otherwise, who have come
+to me for counsel and advice regarding matters which pertain to their
+sex-life, as that problem presented itself to them personally. As we
+all know, many of the most serious and complicated cases we have to
+deal with have their origins in these delicate relations which so
+often exist among wedded people, of all classes and varieties.
+
+For a number of years I did what I could for these patrons of mine, by
+way of confidential talks and the like, my experience in this regard
+probably being about on a par with that of my medical brethren who are
+engaged in the same kind of work. It is needless to say that I found,
+as you have doubtless found under the same conditions, many obstacles
+to prevent satisfactory results, by this method of procedure. My
+patients were often so reticent, or timid and shame-faced, that it was
+frequently difficult to get at the real facts in their cases, and, as
+we all know, many of these would, for these and other reasons, conceal
+more than they revealed, thereby keeping out of evidence the most
+vital and significant items in their individual cases. All these
+things, of course, tended to make bad matters worse, or resulted in
+nothing that was really worth while.
+
+After some years of this sort of experience, and meditating much on
+the situation, I came to the conclusion that a very large percentage
+of all this trouble which I and my patrons had to go up against, was
+almost entirely the result of ignorance on the part of those who came
+to consult me; and because knowledge is always the antidote for not
+knowing, I came to the conclusion that, if it were possible to "put
+these people wise" where they were now so uninformed, I might at
+once save them from a deal of harm and myself from much trouble and
+annoyance.
+
+Further than this, I remembered once hearing a wise man say that often
+"what cannot be said may be sung"; and I realized that it is equally
+true that much which would be awkward, or embarrassing, if said to a
+person, face to face, might be got to them in writing with impunity.
+This I found to be especially true of my women patients, some of whom
+might become suspicious of a wrong intent from the things said in a
+private conversation, when they would have no such fears or doubts
+if they read the same words from a printed page. It was these
+considerations which first suggested to me the writing of the
+following pages.
+
+Still other reasons why I did as I did were as follows: You see,
+at once, if you stop to think about it, that the writing out of the
+knowledge I proposed to impart was really a matter of necessity for
+me, because of the _saving of time_ which would thereby be secured. To
+get any results that would be worth while in these matters, I would be
+required to tell about ever so many things concerning which they were
+totally ignorant; and to tell about ever so many things, by word of
+mouth, to each individual patient, _takes time_--ever so much time, if
+the work is well done, and it had better not be done at all if it is
+not well done. So I really was forced to write out what I wanted to
+teach these patients of mine.
+
+And let me say further that I was compelled to write these things out
+for my people as I have written them, because, in all the range of
+literature on this vital subject, I knew of nothing which would tell
+them just what it seemed to me they ought to be told, and what they
+ought to know.
+
+And so it was that I wrote the manuscript which is now printed in the
+following pages. I did not write it at first just as it now stands,
+because experience showed me, from time to time, where my first
+efforts could be modified and improved. So what is here presented is
+the result of many practical demonstrations of the real working value
+of what the manuscript contains.
+
+My method of using the copy has been something as follows: As I have
+already suggested, what I have written has been prepared for the sole
+and express purpose of helping husbands and wives to live sane and
+wholesome sex-lives--to give them the requisite knowledge for so
+doing; knowledge of themselves and of each other as sexual beings; the
+correct ideas regarding such right manner of living; to disabuse their
+minds of wrong sex-teaching, or no teaching at all, of ignorance,
+or prudery, or carelessness, or lust--in a word, to get to them the
+things that all sane married people ought to know, and to help them to
+practice these things, to the best of their several abilities.
+
+(Perhaps I ought to say that there is not a line of what I have
+written that deals with the subject of venereal diseases, any of
+them. This field is already so well covered by a literature especially
+devoted to this subject that it needs no word of mine to make it as
+satisfactory as possible, as far as discoveries regarding the same
+have progressed. My attempt is toward making marriage more of a
+success than it now is, under existing conditions; and we all know
+that there is a limitless field for exploration and exploitation right
+there.)
+
+Speaking somewhat generally, I have found what I have written to be
+of special value to two classes of my patrons: First, to the
+"newly-weds"; and, second, to those who have been married for a longer
+or shorter period, and who "have not got on well together." A word or
+two regarding each of these:
+
+It is a wise old saying that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound
+of cure," and in no other experience of life is this so true as in
+the ills to which married people are peculiarly subject. Many a newly
+wedded couple have wrecked the possibilities of happiness of a life
+time on their "honeymoon trip"; and it is a matter of common knowledge
+to the members of our profession that the great majority of brides are
+practically raped on their entrance into the married relation. Further
+than this, we all know that these things are as they are chiefly
+because of the ignorance of the parties concerned, rather than because
+they deliberately meant to do wrong. They were left to travel, alone
+and unguided, over what was to them an unknown way, one that was
+beset with pitfalls and precipices, and where dangers lurked in every
+forward step they took. It is to these that I have found what I have
+written to be a great help at the time of their utmost need; and the
+thanks I have received from such parties have been beyond the power of
+words to express.
+
+As to just when it is best to put this information into the hands of
+young married people, my experience has varied with the personality
+of the parties concerned. In some cases I have put the copy into their
+hands some time before their marriage; in others, not till some time
+thereafter; but, as a rule, I have got the best results by putting the
+manuscript into their hands just at the time of their marriage, and in
+most of these cases the greatest success has come from their reading
+it together during their honeymoon. However, this is a matter on which
+I do not care to advise, and regarding which each practitioner must
+act to the best of his own judgment.
+
+Once more: Because it is not safe to assume that young married people
+are already possessed of the _details_ of the essential knowledge
+which they ought to possess, and because such _details_ are the _very
+heart_ of the whole matter, I have made these details as simple
+and explicit as possible, more so than might seem necessary to the
+professional reader. But my experience has proven that I was wise in
+this regard, as these very details have saved the day in more than one
+case, as the parties who have reported to me, after having read what
+I have written, have frequently testified. Sometimes a bride and
+groom would keep the copy for a few days only, giving it but a single
+reading; but, as a rule, they have been anxious to retain it for some
+time, and to read it again and again, especially some parts of it,
+till they were well posted on all that it contains. I found, too, that
+those who had received help from the reading of the manuscript
+were glad to tell others of their friends of the benefits they had
+received, and that thus there was a constantly widening circle.
+
+Of course, not all young married people are capable of reading this
+book with profit to themselves or anyone else; but many of them are,
+and these ought to have the privilege of doing so. Your own good sense
+and experience will determine who these latter are, and these you can
+favor as they deserve. It is because of this situation that this book
+can only be used professionally that it needs the guiding hand of
+an expert physician to insure its reaching only those who can be
+benefited by its reading.
+
+As to the other class of readers, those who have not got on well
+in the marriage relation (and we all know that the name of these is
+legion) my experience in getting to them what I have written has been
+quite varied; but, on the whole, the results have been good--many
+times they have been most excellent. Of course, it is harder to
+correct errors than to prevent them; but as most of the errors I have
+had to deal with among this class of patients have been made through
+ignorance rather than otherwise, I have found that the establishment
+of knowledge in the premises has generally brought relief where before
+was only suffering and woe.
+
+Another way in which I have found the copy to be of the greatest value
+with these cases of unsatisfactory marital relations is the fact that,
+often, by the parties _reading the copy together_ they have come to
+a mutual understanding by so doing, and have established a _modus
+vivendi_ which could not have been attained in any other way. When
+such parties see their doctor singly, either of them, a prejudiced
+view is very apt to result, and they would seldom, if ever, come
+together to consult a physician regarding their troubles. But the
+_reading of the book together_ makes a condition of affairs which is
+very apt to work out for the best interests of all parties concerned.
+Certainly, this is true, that in no case has the reading of the book
+made bad matters worse, and in many cases, (indeed in nearly all of
+them) it has been of untold value and benefit to the readers.
+
+And because these things are so, because what I have written has
+proved its worth in so many cases, I have finally concluded to give
+the copy a larger field in which it may be used by other members of
+the profession besides myself. I confide it to my fellow-members in
+the profession feeling sure that they will use it among their patients
+with wisdom and discretion; and my hope is that their so doing may
+yield for them and theirs the most excellent results which have come
+to me and mine, on these lines, in the years that have gone by.
+
+Perhaps I ought to say that the somewhat unique typography of the
+book, the large percentage of italics, and not a few capitalized words
+that appear in the pages, comes from a duplication of the copy I have
+used with my patients. I wrote the original copy in this way for the
+sake of giving special emphasis to special points for my readers,
+and the results attained I believe were very largely due to the
+typographically emphatic form of the book. Appearing in type in this
+way, it gives a sort of personal touch to what is thus presented to
+the eye of the reader, and the tendency of this is to establish a
+heart-to-heart relation between the author and the reader which could
+not be attained in any other way.
+
+All through the copy I have avoided the use of technical words, never
+using such a term without explaining its meaning in plain English
+in the words that immediately follow it. I found this an absolute
+necessity in writing so that the lay reader could understand, in
+saying things that would produce results.
+
+I might say, also, that the "Introduction" to the real subject matter
+of the book, I found necessary to write as it is largely to get my
+readers into a proper _mental attitude_ for a reasonable recognition
+and understanding of what follows it. There are so many wrong
+teachings and biased ideas in the premises that these had to be
+counteracted or removed, to a degree, at least, before the rest of the
+copy could be rightly read. My experience is, that the preface, as it
+stands, has been the means of putting the readers of the book into a
+right mental attitude for its successful study and consideration. For
+the good of the cause it is written to serve, and for help to those
+who need help in the most sacred and significant affairs of their
+lives, may the book go on its way, if not rejoicing in itself, yet
+causing rejoicing in the lives and hearts of all who read what its
+pages contain.
+
+H.W.L.
+
+
+
+
+SANE SEX LIFE AND SANE SEX LIVING
+
+
+
+
+I
+
+AN EXPLANATORY INTRODUCTION
+
+
+A pious Christian once said to me: "I find it hard to reconcile sex
+with the purity of Providence." He never could understand why God
+arranged for sex anyway. Why something else might not have been done.
+Why children might not have come in some other fashion.
+
+Look at the harm sex has involved. Most all the deviltry of history
+that was not done for money was done for sex. And even the deviltry
+that was done and is done for money had, and has sex back of it. Take
+sex out of man and you have something worth while. God must have been
+short of expedients when God, in sex, conceived sex. It certainly
+looks as if the Divine fell down this time. As if infinity was at
+the end of its tether. As if the adept creator for once was caught
+napping, or for once botched a job.
+
+So we had my pious friend. And we had medievalism. And we had the
+ascetics. And heaven knows what else. Too much sex some places. Too
+little sex other places. Some people swearing on and some swearing
+off. The prostitute giving away that which was meant to be kept.
+The virgin keeping that which was meant to be given away. A force
+contending with a force. Drawing in opposite directions when they
+should be pulling together. Through it all, motherhood misunderstood.
+And fatherhood misunderstood. The body cheapened to the soul. And the
+soul cheapened to the body. Every child being a slap in the face of
+virtue.
+
+Have you ever tried to see what this came from and goes to? This
+philosophy of vulgar denial? This philosophy of wallowing surrender?
+
+The Christian stream has been polluted. It has gone dirty in the age
+of hush. We are supposed to keep our mouths shut. We are not to give
+sex away. We breed youngsters in fatal ignorance. They are always
+asking questions. But we don't answer their questions. The church
+don't answer them. Nor the state. Nor the schools. Not even mothers
+and fathers. Nobody who could answer answers them. But they don't go
+unanswered. They get answered. And they get answered wrong instead
+of right. They get answered, smutched instead of washed. They get
+answered blasphemously instead of reverently. They get answered so
+that the body is suspected instead of being trusted.
+
+A boy who knows nothing asks a boy who knows nothing. A girl who knows
+nothing asks a girl who knows nothing. From nothing nothing comes. Men
+who have been such boys know nothing. Women who have been such girls
+know nothing. From nothing nothing comes. They have become familiar
+with sex circumstances. They are parents. They have done the best
+they knew how. But they never learned sex. They never realized its
+fundamentals. They never went back to, or forward to it. They were
+lost in a wilderness. They existed without living. They took sex as
+they took whiskey. They breathed an atmosphere of hush. They had got
+past the ascetics. But they had not got to be men and women. They
+didn't refuse sex. But though embracing its privileges, they still
+seemed to regard it as something not to be gloried in. The least
+said about it the soonest mended. Mothers and fathers would say to
+children: "You'll know about it soon enough." Teachers would say:
+"Ask your questions at home." Home would say: "What ever started you
+thinking about such things?"
+
+The child goes about wondering. What's the matter with sex that
+everybody's afraid to talk about it? What's the matter with my body
+that I dare not mention it? My body seems very beautiful to me. I like
+to look at it. I like to feel it. I like to smell it. But I'm always
+hurried into my clothes. My body is so mysteriously precious I must
+take care of it. But how am I to take care of it if I don't get
+acquainted with it?
+
+I find that having a body has something to do with being a father and
+a mother. I want to be a father. I want to be a mother. But how can
+I be a father or mother if some one who knows doesn't tell me what
+precedes fatherhood and motherhood? I should prepare for it. How can
+I if all the books are closed? How can I if I am blanked every time I
+express my curiosity? Is there no one anywhere who'll be honest with
+me?
+
+If I look at sex right out of my own soul, it seems like something
+which God didn't fail with, but succeeded with. Like something not
+polluted, but purified. Like something having everything, instead of
+only an occasional thing, to do with life. But the world shakes its
+head. The world is nasty. But it puts on airs. The world has eaten.
+But the world says it's best to starve. Folks will say they've got to
+be parents. But they say they will regret it. They say sex is here.
+They say we're up against its mandates or its passions. But let's
+be as decent as we can with the indecent. Let's not linger on its
+margins. Let's not overstay our dissipation. Sex is like eating. Who
+would eat if he didn't have to? To say you enjoy a meal is carnal. To
+say that you derive some sense of ecstasy from paternal and maternal
+desires is a confession of depravity. Sex at the best is a sin.
+
+Sex at the best is like stepping down. That sex might be an ascent.
+That sex might be the only means of growth and expansion. You never
+suppose that! You only assume perdition. You are afraid to assume
+heaven. I may take pride in that which I may abstract from my anatomy.
+I must not allude to my body as frankly as to my soul. I must withdraw
+my body from the public eye. From discussion. From its instinctive
+avowals. Our bodies must be coffined. Treated as dead before they are
+born. Regarded as conveniences. Not as essential entities. The body is
+only for a little while. The soul is forever. But why is that little
+while not as holy as forever? They don't say. They cavalierly settle
+the case of the body against itself.
+
+So it goes. Endless vivid portrayals could be made of the anomalous
+situation. The more you look at the mess we've got sex into the worse
+it seems. _Someone's got to peach._ Someone's got to tell the truth.
+In a world of liars who are hushers? In a world of hushers who are
+liars? _Someone's got to tell the truth._ Someone's got to give sex
+its due. _You can't give spirit its due until you give sex its due._
+You can't accept one and cast aside one. They go together. They are
+inseparable.
+
+You refer to body and soul as if you knew just where one stops and the
+other commences. Maybe neither stops and neither commences. Maybe they
+are not two things but two names. Maybe when you put a body into a
+grave you put a soul there too. And maybe you put neither there. It's
+not so easy to say.
+
+I can't see anything in the things you call spiritual more marvelous
+than what you call the physical birth of a baby from a mother. Maybe
+you know all about it. I don't. I know nothing about it. To me it's
+mysterious. To me it's the supreme demonstration of the spiritual.
+
+How that a baby comes from a man and a woman. I want that kept clean.
+It starts clean. Why do we corrupt it? You who disparage it corrupt
+it. You ascetics anywhere. You libidinous roues anywhere. You corrupt
+it. By your excesses. You who never say yes. You who never say no. You
+corrupt it.
+
+You parents. You professors. You prudes. This is addressed to you.
+What have you got to say about it? You have tremblingly closed the
+question. I would coolly open it. You have rebuked God by silence. I
+would praise God by speech.
+
+
+
+
+II
+
+THE ARGUMENT AND THE INFORMATION
+
+
+No apology is offered for what is said in the following pages, but
+a brief explanation is virtually necessary to make clear, from the
+outset, the reasons why it has been written.
+
+It is one of the chief characteristics of the human race that
+the knowledge acquired by one generation can be passed on to the
+generations that follow; and that, in this way, progress in the
+betterment of life's results and the adaptation of means to ends can
+make a steady and reliable advance.
+
+Such a method of evolution and growth is not possible in the vegetable
+or animal kingdom, where _instinct_ is the only means for the
+transmission of acquired knowledge. It is this feature that
+differentiates man from all other created beings.
+
+But here is a curious fact: In one realm of human experiences, in all
+Christian civilized countries, it has been considered wrong, even in
+some cases being counted a criminal offense, punishable by fine and
+imprisonment, for anyone to make any record of, or transmit to
+anyone else, any knowledge that may have been acquired regarding sex
+relations in the human family.
+
+To be sure, there has been preserved, from time to time, a body
+of _professional_ knowledge of this sort, made and prepared by
+physicians, but _confined strictly to that class of people_. No
+attempt has been made to disseminate such knowledge among those who
+most need it--the common people. On the contrary, every possible
+effort is put forth to keep such knowledge from them. This is wholly
+at variance with the practice regarding all other forms of human
+knowledge, which is to spread, as widely as possible, all known data
+that have so far been obtained.
+
+There is not space, in this small volume, for pointing out the reasons
+for this anomalous condition of affairs, but the chief cause of its
+status, past and present, is grounded on two sources: The first of
+these is a brutal selfishness which has come over to modern times from
+a savage past; the second is a sort of pious prudery.
+
+The result of these causes has been to make the whole subject of sex
+in the human family, with its functions and mission in human affairs,
+together with its proper training, discipline and exercise--to make
+all these things _tabu_, something to be ashamed of and ignored
+as much as possible, and all the knowledge regarding them that one
+generation has been permitted to transmit to those who come after, may
+be summed up in these words, namely "_Thou shalt not_."
+
+Now it goes without saying that, in the very nature of things, _all_
+this is just as bad as it can possibly be. For, of all phenomena with
+which the human race has to do, that of the highest importance, so far
+as the well-being of the race is concerned, is that which has to do
+with sex in men and women. A large percentage of all the physical
+ailments in mankind and womenkind arise from errors in sexual life,
+and these are but trifles compared with the mental and spiritual
+disasters which come upon humanity from the same source. It is
+probably true that more than one-half of all the crimes that are
+committed in the civilized world are more or less directly connected
+with sex affairs, and there is no so common a cause for insanity as
+sex aberrations.
+
+And nearly all these ills, crimes and misfortunes arise because of
+_ignorance_ in the matter of sex in which the rank and file of the
+race are forced to live. Few of these ever acquire any positive and
+definite knowledge in the premises, and if they do learn anything
+for sure, _they keep it to themselves_, inspired to do so by a false
+belief regarding the rightful transmission of such knowledge; or, by
+a false modesty, or prudery, they are kept from telling to anyone else
+what they have discovered or found to be the truth in these matters.
+And so the people stumble along in ignorance of these vital affairs
+in life, generation after generation, repeating the errors of their
+predecessors, and no positive progress being made as the years go by.
+Because of this state of affairs millions of human beings die every
+generation, and other millions suffer the tortures of the damned while
+they live, when they should enjoy the delights of the elect, and would
+do so if they only knew the actual facts in the case, and would act in
+accordance with the knowledge that ought to be made theirs.
+
+But there are not wanting signs of the times that there will slowly
+come a change in these conditions. The fact is that the intelligent
+world is beginning to emerge from a condition of conformity to the
+say-so of some one supposed to speak with authority, and to come into
+a realm of obedience only to a law that has a scientific basis of
+actual knowledge for its foundation.
+
+For untold ages the sex relations of the human family have been
+directed and determined by the clergy and by _their_ teachings and
+pronunciamentos regarding what was fit and right. There is no need of
+saying hard things about such a fact; nevertheless, it is true that,
+for the most part, all the dicta of these men have originated amongst
+those who knew nothing of the _scientific_ conditions regarding the
+subject on which they issue their mandates. So did the blind lead the
+blind, and the ditches of the past years are filled to overflowing
+with the dead bodies and souls of men and women, who, for this cause,
+have fallen therein.
+
+This must not always be! It is neither wise nor right that the
+essential matters of human life should always remain a stumbling block
+and a rock of offense for the children of men. We are coming to see
+that sex is no more unclean and to be denied a scientific knowledge
+of, than any other part of the human body--the eye, the ear or
+whatsoever. Furthermore, the rank and file are beginning to clamor
+for a knowledge of these matters for themselves. This is shown by
+the frequency of articles that deal with sex in many of the best
+newspapers and magazines in the civilized world, and by similar
+discussions in the literature, the works and scientific books that now
+go into the hands of the common people. It also shows in the attempts
+that are occasionally being made to introduce the subject of sexual
+hygiene into our public schools and other educational institutions.
+"The world do move!"
+
+It is for these reasons--because it is right to transfer to you and to
+those who come after, the sex knowledge that has been acquired by the
+author, by reading scientific and professional literature upon the
+subject, by conference with men and women who know, and by personal
+and professional experience, that what follows is written.
+
+
+
+
+III
+
+THE CORRECT MENTAL ATTITUDE
+
+
+So much by way of general remarks regarding the subject in hand. It
+is more the especial purpose of what follows, however, to treat of the
+matter of marriage in particular, _to say something definite to young
+husbands and wives that shall be of real benefit to them_, not only by
+way of starting them out right in the new and untried way upon which
+they have entered, but to help them to make that way a realm
+of perpetual and ever increasing joy to both parties concerned,
+throughout its entire course, their whole lives long.
+
+Be it said, then, first, that it is the duty of every bride and groom,
+before they engage in sexual commerce with each other, to acquaint
+themselves thoroughly with the anatomy and physiology of the sex
+organs of human beings, both male and female, and to make the
+acquirement of such knowledge as dispassionate and matter-of-fact
+an affair as though they were studying the nature, construction and
+functions of the stomach, or the digestive processes entire, or the
+nature and use of any of the other bodily organs. "Clear and clean am
+I within and without; clear and clean is every scrap and part of me,
+and no part shall be held more sacred or preferred above another. For
+divine am I, and all I am, or contain."
+
+Now the normal young man or woman would do just this, would pursue a
+study of sex in this way, were it not for the fact that they have
+been taught, time out of mind, that to do this is immodest, not to
+say indecent or positively wicked. They have longed to be possessed
+of such knowledge, all their lives; in most cases more than any other
+form of wisdom that it was possible for them to make their own. But
+its acquirement has been placed beyond their possible reach, and it
+is only by the most clandestine and often nasty means that they have
+attained what little they know. But the quotation made in the last
+paragraph, sounds the key note of what is _right_ in this matter,
+and the first effort made by the reader of these pages should be to
+establish in himself or herself the _condition of mind which these
+lines embody._
+
+And it had better be said, right here, that for most young people this
+will be found to be no _easy_ thing to do. Nor should the reader feel
+ashamed or chagrined, or at odds with himself or herself if he or she
+finds such condition of affairs existing in his or her case. For it
+is nothing for which they are to blame. It is a misfortune and not
+a fault. It is only the result of inherited and inculcated (the word
+inculcated means _kicked in_) ideas to which all "well bred" youths
+have been subjected for centuries; the idea being that the closer they
+were kept in the realm of innocence, which is only another name for
+ignorance, the better "bred" they are. And to pry one's self loose, to
+break or tear one's self away from such a mental view and condition
+as heredity and such years of rigorous restraint have developed, is no
+small task. Indeed, it often takes months, and sometimes years, wholly
+to rid one's self of these deep seated and powerful, wrong views and
+prejudices.
+
+Remember this: that _to the pure all things are pure._ But do not
+make the mistake of thinking that this much abused sentence means that
+purity means _emptiness_! It does no such thing. On the contrary,
+it means _fullness_, to _perfection_. It means that one should be
+possessed of the right kind of stuff, and that the stuff should be of
+supreme quality. So, in studying to obtain a knowledge of sex organs
+and sex functions, in the human family, the reader should not try to
+divest himself or herself of all sex-passion and desire; but, on the
+contrary, to make these of a sort of which he or she can be _proud_,
+rather than _ashamed_ of, rejoice in, rather than suffer from.
+
+So, then, let the reader of these lines, first, get a correct _mental
+attitude_ toward what is about to be said. Banish all prurient
+curiosity, put aside all thought of shame or shock, (these two will
+be hardest for young women to overcome, because of their training in
+false modesty and prudishness) and endeavor to approach the subject in
+a reverent, open-eyed, conscientious spirit, as one who wishes, above
+everything else, to know the honest truth in these most essential
+matters that pertain to human life. Get into this frame of mind, and
+_keep in it_, and what is here written will be read with both pleasure
+and profit.
+
+Once more, for we must make haste slowly in these delicate affairs, if
+the reader should find himself or herself unduly excited, or perhaps
+shocked, while reading some parts of what is here written, so that the
+heart beats too fast, or the hand trembles, it may be well to suspend
+the reading for a time, divert the mind into other channels for a
+while, and resume the reading after one has regained poise and mastery
+of one's self. That is, "_keep your head_" while you read these
+lessons, and you will be all right.
+
+
+
+
+IV
+
+THE SEX ORGANS
+
+
+And now, having given these cautionary directions, the way is clear
+for the making of definite statements and the giving of positive
+instruction.
+
+Here, then, is a brief description of the sex organs in man and woman.
+At first, only the names of the parts will be given, with such slight
+comments and explanations as are necessary for making this part of the
+subject clear. A detailed setting forth of the functions and proper
+exercise of these organs will be given later.
+
+The sex organs in a male human being consists, broadly speaking, of
+the penis and the testicles. All these are located at the base of the
+abdomen, between the thighs and on the forward part of the body. The
+penis is a fleshy, muscular organ, filled with most sensitive nerves,
+and blood vessels that are capable of extension to a much greater
+degree than any of their similars in other parts of the body. In a
+quiescent, or unexcited condition, in the average man, this organ is
+from three to four inches long and about an inch or more in diameter.
+It hangs limp and pendent in this state, retired and in evidence not
+at all. In its excited, or tumescent condition (the word tumescent
+means swelled, and is the technical word for describing the erect
+condition of the penis) it becomes enlarged and rigid, its size in
+this state being, on an average, six or seven inches long, and from
+an inch-and-a-half to two inches in diameter. It is almost perfectly
+cylindrical, slightly thicker at the base than at its forward part.
+
+The testicles are two kidney shaped glands, not far from the size of
+a large hickory nut, and are contained in a sort of sack, or pocket,
+called the scrotum, which is made for their comfortable and safe
+carrying. The scrotum hangs directly between the thighs, at the base
+of the penis, and in it are the testicles, suspended by vital cords
+that are suspended from the body above. The left testicle hangs a
+little higher in the sack than the right, so that, in case the thighs
+are crowded together, one testicle will slip over the other, and so
+the danger of crushing them will be avoided. This is one of the many
+ways which the Maker of the human body has devised to insure the
+proper preservation of the vital organs from harm, a fact which
+should inspire all human beings with profound reverence for this most
+wonderful of all life forms, the beautiful human body, the "temple of
+the Holy Spirit."
+
+The part of the body upon which the sex organs, male and female, are
+located is known as the pubic region. It is covered with hair, which,
+in both sexes, extends well up the lower belly. This is known as pubic
+hair, and in general corresponds in quality and quantity to the hair
+upon the individual head, being coarse or fine, soft or bristly, to
+match, the head covering, in each case. This hair is usually more or
+less curly, and forms a covering an inch or more in depth over the
+whole pubic region, extending back between the thighs slightly beyond
+the rectum. In occasional cases this hair is straight and silky, and
+sometimes grows to great length, instances being known, in some women,
+where it has extended to the knees. A well-grown and abundant supply
+of fine pubic hair is a possession highly prized by women, of which
+they are justly proud, though few of them would acknowledge the fact,
+even to themselves. None the less it is a fact.
+
+The female sex organs, speaking generally also, are as follows: The
+vulva, or outward portion of the parts; the vaginal passage; the
+uterus, or womb, and the ovaries. All but the first named lie within
+the body of the woman. The vulva is made up of several parts which
+will be named and described later. The vaginal passage is a tube, or
+canal leading from the vulva to the womb. In length and diameter it
+corresponds almost exactly with that of the penis, being six or seven
+inches in depth, and capable of a lateral extension which will
+readily admit the entrance of the male organ when the two are brought
+together. The vaginal passage opens into, and terminates in the
+uterine, or womb cavity.
+
+The womb is a pear shaped sack which is suspended in the womb cavity
+by cords and muscles from above. It hangs, neck downwards, and is, in
+its unimpregnated condition, about two and a half inches in diameter
+at its upper, or widest part, tapering to a thin neck at its lower
+end. It is hard and muscular in its quiescent state, filled with
+delicate and most sensitive nerves and capacious blood vessels. At its
+lower, or neck end, it opens directly into the vaginal passage.
+
+The ovaries are two in number, and are situated on each side of, and
+above the womb, in the region of the upper groins. They are small, fan
+shaped glands, and are connected with the uterus by small ducts which
+are known as the fallopian tubes.
+
+As already stated, the exterior parts of the body, in which the female
+sex organs are located, are covered with hair for their adornment and
+protection.
+
+Such in brief, are the male and female sex organs in human beings. A
+further description of them and their functions and proper use we are
+now ready to consider.
+
+
+
+
+V
+
+THE FUNCTION OF THE SEX ORGANS
+
+
+It hardly need be stated here, for it is a matter of common knowledge,
+that the _primary_ purpose of sex in the human family is the
+reproduction of the race. In this respect, considered merely on its
+material, or animal side, mankind differs little from all other forms
+of animate life. As Whitman says, we see "everywhere sex, everywhere
+the urge of procreation." The flowers are possessed of this quality,
+and with them all vegetable forms. In the animal kingdom the same is
+true. Always "male and female" is everything created.
+
+And the chief facts in reproduction are practically the same wherever
+the phenomena occur. Here, as everywhere else in the world, when a
+new life-form appears, it is always the result of the union of _two_
+forces, elements, germs or whatsoever. These two elements differ
+in nature and in function, and each is incomplete and worthless by
+itself. It is only by the combining of the two that any new result
+is obtained. It is this fact that has led to the most suggestive and
+beautiful phrase "The duality of all unity in nature."
+
+Many centuries ago an old Latin philosopher wrote the now celebrated
+phrase, _Omne ex ovo_, which, translated, means _everything is from an
+egg_. This is practically true of all life-forms. Their beginning
+is always from an ovum, or egg. In this respect, the reproduction of
+human beings is the same as that of any other life-form.
+
+Now in this process of producing a new life-form, the female is always
+the source of the egg, out of which the new creation is to come. This
+egg, however, is infertile of itself, and must be given life to, by
+mingling with its germ, an element which only the male can produce
+and supply. This element is technically known as a sperm, or a
+spermatozoa. Its function is to fertilize the dormant germ in the
+egg produced by the female, and thus to start a new and independent
+life-form. This life-form, thus started, grows according to the laws
+of its becoming more and more, until, at the expiration of a fixed
+period, which varies greatly in different animals, it becomes a
+complete young individual, of the nature and kind of its parents.
+The fertilization of the ovum in the female is called conception;
+its growing state is called gestation, and its birth, on becoming a
+separate being, is called parturition. In its growing condition, and
+before its birth, the new young life form is known as the foetus.
+
+Now it is the fertilization of the ovum in the female (and from now
+on, it is only of the male and female in the human family that mention
+will be made) by the male, in the woman, by the man, that is of
+supreme interest and importance to both the parties concerned in
+producing this result. How this is brought about is substantially as
+follows:
+
+As already stated, the infertile ovum, or egg, is produced by the
+woman. Such production begins at what is known as the age of puberty,
+or when the hair begins to grow upon the pubic parts of the female
+body. The time of the appearance of this phenomenon in feminine life
+varies from the age of nine or ten years to fifteen or sixteen. The
+average, for most girls, is fourteen years of age. At this time
+the formation of ova, or eggs, in the female body begins, and it
+continues, in most women, at regular intervals of once in twenty-eight
+days, except during pregnancy and lactation, for a period of about
+thirty years. During all this time, under favorable conditions, it is
+possible for the ovum produced by the woman to become fertilized, if
+it can meet the sperm of the male.
+
+In a general way, this meeting of the infertile ovum of the woman with
+the sperm of the man can be brought about, as follows:
+
+The ova are produced by the ovaries (the word ovaries means egg
+producers) where they slowly develop from cells which originate
+in these glands. When they have reached maturity, or are ready for
+fertilization, they pass out of the ovaries and down into the womb, by
+way of the fallopian tubes. As already stated, such passage of the ova
+from the ovaries into the womb occurs every twenty-eight days, and
+it is accomplished by a more or less copious flow of blood, a sort of
+hemorrhage, which carries the ova down through the fallopian tubes,
+and deposits them in the womb. This blood, after performing its
+mission of carrying the ova down into the womb, escapes from the
+body through the vaginal passage and is cared for by the wearing of
+a bandage between the thighs. This flow of blood continues for about
+five days, and is known as a menstrual flow; and this time in a
+woman's life is known as the menstrual period. It is so named because
+of the regularity of its recurrence, the word _mensa_ meaning a
+_month_. In common parlance, these periods are often spoke of as the
+"monthlies."
+
+After the ovum has reached the womb it remains there for a period of
+about ten days, after which, if it is not fertilized during that time,
+it passes out of the womb into the vaginal passage, and so out of the
+body. But if, at any time after it is ripe for fertilization, that is,
+from the time it begins its journey from the ovaries to the womb,
+and while it is in the womb, the ovum is met by the male sperm, it is
+_liable_ to become fertilized--conception is possible. These are facts
+of the _utmost importance_, to be thoroughly understood and kept well
+in mind by all married people who would live happily together, as will
+be hereafter shown.
+
+So much regarding the female part of the meeting of the ovum and the
+sperm. The male part of this mutual act is as follows:
+
+The sperm, or spermatozoa, originate in the testicles. Each sperm is
+an individual entity and _several thousands_ of them are produced
+and in readiness for use, _at each meeting_ of the male and female
+generative organs; and if _any one_ of the countless number comes in
+contact with the unfertilized ovum in the womb, conception is _liable_
+to result.
+
+These sperms are so small that they are not visible to the naked eye,
+but they are readily seen by the use of a microscope. In shape they
+much resemble tad-poles in their earliest stages.
+
+At the base of the penis, well up in the man's body, there is a large
+gland which surrounds the penis like a thick ring, and which is called
+the prostate gland. It secretes a mucous fluid which looks much like,
+and is about the consistency of the white of an egg. Close to this
+gland, and almost a part of it, is a sack, or pocket, into which the
+mucous secretion from the prostate gland is poured, and where it is
+kept, ready for use, in performing its part of the germinal act.
+
+Now it is the business of this mucous fluid, which comes from the
+prostate gland, to form a "carrying medium" for the spermatozoa which
+originate in the testicles. There are small ducts leading from the
+testicles into the pocket which contains the prostate fluid. These are
+known as the seminal ducts, and through them the spermatozoa pass
+from the testicles into the prostate pocket. Here they mingle with the
+prostate fluid, in which they can move about freely, and by means of
+which they can be carried wherever this fluid goes. The combination of
+prostate fluid and spermatozoa is called "semen."
+
+Seen under a microscope, a single drop of semen reveals a multitude of
+spermatozoa swimming about in the prostate-carrying medium. It is in
+this form that the vitalizing male element meets the female infertile
+ovum. This mass of live and moving germs is poured all around and
+about the region in which the ovum lies waiting to be fertilized, and
+every one of them seems to be "rushing about like mad" to find what it
+is sent to do, namely, to meet and fertilize the ovum. The manner of
+depositing the semen where it can come in contact with the ovum is as
+follows:
+
+In order that this mingling of the male and female sources of life may
+be possible, it is necessary that there be a union of the male and the
+female generative organs. For such meeting, the penis is filled with
+blood, all its blood vessels being distended to their utmost capacity,
+till the organ becomes stout and hard, and several times its dormant
+size, as has been already told. In this condition it is able to
+penetrate, to its utmost depths, the vaginal passage of the female,
+which is of a nature to perfectly contain the male organ in this
+enlarged and rigid condition. Under such conditions, the penis
+is inserted into the widened and distended vaginal passage. Once
+together, a mutual back and forth, or partly in and out movement, of
+the organs is begun and carried on by the man and woman, which action
+further enlarges the parts and raises them to a still higher degree
+of tension and excitement. It is supposed by some that this frictional
+movement of the parts develops an electrical current, which increases
+in tension as the act is continued; and that it is the mission of the
+pubic hair, which is a non-conductor, to confine these currents to the
+parts in contact.
+
+Now there are two other glands in these organs; one in the male and
+one in the female, which performs a most wonderful function in this
+part of the sexual act. These are the "glans penis" in the male and
+the "clitoris" in the female. The first is located at the apex of the
+male organ, and the other at the upper-middle and exterior part of the
+vulva. These glands are covered with a most delicate cuticle, and
+are filled with highly sensitive nerves. As the act progresses, these
+glands become more and more sensitized, and nervously surcharged,
+until, as a climax, they finally cause a sort of nervous explosion of
+the organs involved. This climax is called an "orgasm" in scientific
+language. Among most men and women it is spoken of as "spending."
+
+On the part of the man, this orgasm causes the semen, which till this
+instant has remained in the prostate pocket, to be suddenly driven
+out of this place of deposit, and thrown in jets, and with spasmodic
+force, through the entire length of the penis, and, as it were, shot
+into the vaginal passage and the uterine cavity, till the whole region
+is literally deluged with the life-giving fluid. At the same time,
+the mouth of the womb opens wide; and into it pours, or rushes, this
+"father stuff," entirely surrounding and flooding the ovum, if it be
+in the womb. This is the climax of the sexual act, which is called
+"coitus," a word which means, going together.
+
+With the myriads of spermatozoa swarming about it, if the vital part
+of the ovum comes in contact with some one of them, any one of which,
+brought into such contact, will fertilize it, conception results. The
+woman is then pregnant, and the period of gestation is begun.
+
+This is a brief description of the act of coitus and of the means by
+which pregnancy takes place. It is, however, only a small part of the
+story of the sex relations of husbands and wives; and, be it said, a
+_very_ small part of that, as will now be shown.
+
+As has already been said, this use of the sex organs, merely to
+produce progeny, and so insure a continuance of the race, is a quality
+that mankind shares with all the rest of the animal kingdom. In all
+essentials, so far as the material parts of the act are concerned, the
+beginnings of the new life in the human family differ not a whit from
+that of any other mammals. In each case the ovum is produced by the
+ovaries of the female, passes into the womb, is there met by the semen
+from the male, fertilized by the spermatozoa, and so the foetus gets
+its start. This is the universal means by which the beginnings of all
+animal reproductive life takes place.
+
+But there is another phase in the sex life of human beings, which is
+_entirely different_ from that of all other animals, and which must
+therefore be considered beyond all that needs to be said regarding the
+act of coitus for reproductive purposes only. This we are now ready to
+consider and study.
+
+Now in all animals, except human beings, the act of coitus is only
+permitted by the female, (it would seem is only _possible_ for her)
+when the ovum is present in the womb and ready to be fertilized. _At
+all other times, all female animals, except woman, are practically
+sexless_. Their sexual organs are dormant, and _nothing can arouse
+them_ to activity. Not only do they fail to show any desire for
+coitus, but if an attempt should be made to force it upon them, _they
+would resist it_ to the utmost of their strength.
+
+But when the ovum is present in the womb, these same female animals
+are beside themselves with desire for coitus. They are then spoken of
+as "in heat." And until they are satisfied, by meeting the male and
+procuring from him the vitalizing fluid which will fertilize their
+infertile ovum; or, failing in this, until the ovum passes away from
+them, out of the womb, they know no rest. At such times they will
+run all risks, incur all sorts of danger, do every possible thing to
+secure pregnancy. The thousand-and-one ways which female animals use
+to make known to their male mates their sexual desire and needs, when
+in heat, is a most interesting and wonderful story, a record made up
+of facts which would be well worth any student's knowing. But as all
+such knowledge can readily be procured from books which are within the
+reach of all, there is no need of noting the data here.
+
+But now, _in woman, all these things are different!_ As a matter of
+fact, the presence of the ovum in the womb of a normally made woman
+_makes little, and, in many cases, no difference whatever_ as regards
+her status concerning the act of coitus! That is, women are never
+"in heat," in the same sense in which other female animals are. To be
+sure, in some cases, though they are rare, some women are conscious
+of a greater desire for coitus just after the ceasing of the menstrual
+flow; that is, when the ovum is in the womb. But such cases are so
+infrequent that they may well be counted atavistic, that is, of the
+nature of a tendency to return to a previous merely animal condition.
+For the most part, it is true of all normal women that the presence of
+the ovum in the womb makes little difference, one way or another, in
+regard to their desire for, or aversion to, the act of coitus.
+
+Now the fact of this remarkable difference in the sex-status of women
+and the same quality in all other female animals leads us to a great
+number of interesting, not to say startling, conclusions, some of
+which are as follows:
+
+In the first place, the phenomenon clearly establishes the fact that
+sex in the female human being _differs, pronouncedly_, from that of
+all other female life. For, whereas, among all females except woman,
+coitus is _impossible_, except at certain times and seasons, among
+women the act can not only be permitted, but is as much possible or
+_desired_ at one time as any other, regardless of the presence or
+absence of the ovum in the womb. That is (and this point should be
+noted well by the reader) there is a _possibility_, on the part of
+the female humanity, for coitus, _under conditions that do not at all
+obtain in any other female animal life_.
+
+This is a conclusion which is of such far-reaching importance that its
+limits are but dimly recognized, even in the clear thinking of most
+married people. The fact of such difference is known to them, and
+their practices in living conform to the conditions; but what it all
+means, they are entirely ignorant of, _and they never stop to think
+about it_.
+
+And yet, _right here is the very center and core of the real success
+or failure of married life_! Around this fact are grouped all the
+troubles that come to husbands and wives. About it are gathered all
+the joys and unspeakable delights of the happily married--the only
+truly married. It is these items which make a knowledge of the real
+conditions which exist, regarding this part of married life, of such
+supreme importance. If these conditions could be rightly understood,
+and the actions of husbands and wives could be brought to conform to
+the laws which obtain under them, _the divorce courts would go out of
+business_, their occupation, like Othello's, would be "gone indeed."
+
+The first conclusion, then, one that is forced upon the thoughtful
+mind by the fact of this difference in the sex possibilities of women
+and other female animals, is, as already stated, but which is here
+repeated for emphasis, that coitus _can_ be engaged in _by women_ when
+_pregnancy_ is _not_ its purpose, on her part; and that _this never
+occurs in any other form of female life!_
+
+In view of this fact, is it too much to raise the question whether or
+not sex in woman is designed to fulfill any other purpose than that of
+the reproduction of the race? True it is, that the _only_ function
+of sex in all other females is merely that of producing offspring--of
+perpetuating its kind. Under no circumstances does it _ever_ serve
+_any_ other end, fulfill any other design. _There is no possibility of
+its doing so_!
+
+But one can help wondering if it is not true that, with the existence
+of the _possibility_ of engaging in coitus _at will_, rather than
+at the bidding of _instinct_ alone, there has also come a _new_ and
+_added_ function for the sex-natures that are capable of engaging
+in such before-unknown experiences? To a fair-minded person, such
+conclusion seems not only logical, but irresistible! That is in view
+of this conclusion, it naturally follows that sex in the human family
+is _positively designed to fulfill a function that is entirely unknown
+to all other forms of animal life_. And from this, it is but a step to
+the establishment of the fact that _sex exercise in the human family
+serves a purpose other than that of reproduction_!
+
+Now, this fact established, a whole world of new issues arises and
+demands settlement. Among these, comes the supreme question: _What is
+the nature of this new experience that has been conferred upon human
+beings, over and above what is vouchsafed to any other form of animal
+life? What purpose can it serve? How can it be properly exercised?
+What is right and what is wrong under these new possibilities_? These
+are some of the issues that _force_ themselves upon all thoughtful
+people, _those who wish to do right under any and all circumstances in
+which they are placed_.
+
+Of course, here as elsewhere, the unthinking, the happy-go-lucky and
+the "don't-give-a-damn," can blunder along in almost any-old-way.
+But they can, and will, reap only the reward which always follows
+blundering and ignorance. In these days of scientific clear-thinking,
+we have come to understand that _salvation from sin comes by the way
+of positive knowledge and not at the hands of either ignorance
+or innocence_! If husbands and wives ever attain to the highest
+conditions of married life, it can only be after they _know and
+practice, what is right in all their sex relations, both for
+reproductive purposes and in all other respects! Note that well_!
+
+As things are now, especially in all civilized countries, and
+particularly among Christian people, this _secondary_ function of sex
+in the human family, while blindly recognized as a fact, is none the
+less abused, to a most shameful degree. For ages, the whole situation
+has been left in a condition of most deplorable, not to say damnable,
+ignorance; and no honest endeavor has been made to find out and act
+up to the truth in the premises. Husbands and wives have engaged in
+coitus _ad libitum_, utterly regardless of whether it was right
+or wrong for them to do so! They have taken it for granted that
+_marriage_ conferred on them the _right_ to have sexual intercourse
+whenever they chose, (especially when the man chose,) and they have
+acted accordingly. This is especially true of men, and the practice
+has been carried to such length that the right of a man to engage in
+coitus with his wife _has been established by law_, and the wife who
+refuses to yield this "right" to her husband can be divorced by him,
+if she persists in such way of living! It is such a fact as this which
+caused Mr. Bernard Shaw to write: "Marriage is the most licentious
+institution in all the world." And he might rightfully have added "it
+is also the most brutal," though it is an insult to the brute to say
+it that way, for brutes are never guilty of _coitus under compulsion.
+But a husband can force his wife to submit to his sexual embraces, and
+she has no legal right to say him nay!_ This doesn't seem quite right,
+does it?
+
+Now there are several different ways of viewing this new and added
+sexual possibility in the human family, namely, the act of coitus for
+other than reproductive purposes. The Catholic church has _always_
+counted it as a sin. Popes have issued edicts regarding it, and
+conclaves of Bishops have discussed it and passed resolutions
+regarding it. There has always been a difference of opinion upon the
+subject amongst these dignitaries and authorities, but they all
+agree in one respect, namely, that it is a _sin_. The only point of
+difference has been as to the extent or enormity of the sin! By some
+it has been reckoned as a "deadly sin," punishable by eternal hell
+fire, if not duly absolved before death; by others it has been held
+to be only a "venial sin," one that must always be confessed to the
+priest when coitus is engaged in, and which can be pardoned by the
+practice of due penance. _But, always, it was a sin_!
+
+The Protestant church has never issued edicts regarding this matter,
+but, for the most part, it has tacitly held to the Catholic teaching
+in _theory_, while universally _practicing_ the reverse, in actual
+married life. Protestants have looked upon it as a necessity, but have
+taught that it was _regrettable_ that such was the case. They have
+held, with Paul, that, "it is better to marry than to burn." And most
+of them have chosen the marriage horn of the dilemma.
+
+Among some European nations, attempts have been made to make it
+impossible for husbands and wives to cohabit except for reproductive
+purposes. In one of these nations, padlocks were used for preventing
+the act. A slit was made through the foreskin of the penis, and
+through this slit the ring of a padlock was passed, much as an
+ear-ring is passed through the lobe of a lady's ear. The padlock
+was made so large that it could not be introduced into the vaginal
+passage, and so coitus was impossible when it was worn. It could only
+be removed by the magistrate into whose hands the regulation of this
+part of the citizens' life was given. Specimens of these padlocks are
+still to be seen in European museums.
+
+Now the terribly immoral thing in all this way of living has always
+been the fact that it _compelled_ people to continually _violate their
+consciences_, by _pretending_ to _believe_ one thing and constantly
+_practicing_ the reverse of their proclaimed belief. That is, it lured
+them into _living a continual lie, and such can never be for the good
+of the soul_! It goes without saying that the sooner this abominable
+way of living can be ended, the better it will be for all parties
+concerned--the individuals who are the victims of such falsehood, and
+the communities of which they form a part.
+
+From all this it follows that the first thing every new husband and
+wife _ought_ to do is to _settle clearly in their own minds the issue
+as to whether it is right or wrong for them to engage in coitus for
+any other than procreative purposes_. Having settled this point, one
+way or the other, then _let them conscientiously act accordingly. For
+only so can they live righteous lives_!
+
+In settling this point, so far as available authorities for the young
+people to study and consider are concerned, these are all _against_
+coitus except for begetting of off-spring. All the "purity" writers
+and Purity Societies are ranged together on the negative side.
+Likewise are all the books of "advice to young wives and husbands,"
+especially those addressed to young _wives_.
+
+Now all these "authorities" base their whole argument upon the purely
+_animal_ facts in the premises. Probably a certain Dr. C. is more
+largely read for information on these matters than any other author,
+especially among young women. He has written a large, and from
+the view-point he takes, a very plausible volume; and it is very
+extensively advertised, especially in papers which young women read.
+The result is that it has come to be almost a standard authority in
+these affairs.
+
+Dr. C.'s argument is, baldly, as follows:--(a) Among animals, the
+universal practice is a single act of coitus for each begetting of
+off-spring, (b) Human beings are animals, (c) Therefore, human beings
+should only engage in coitus for reproductive purposes.
+
+To this syllogism he adds a corollary, which is, that, therefore, all
+sexual commerce in the human family, for any other than reproductive
+purposes, is _wrong._ These are his texts, so to speak, and through
+several hundred pages he preaches, _don't, don't, don't,_ sermons. The
+entire volume is one of denial and prohibition. He proclaims the act,
+even for the one purpose he allows to be right, as low, and in itself
+degrading, to be engaged in only after "prayer and fasting" and
+"mortifying the flesh," and even then, in the most passionless, and
+only done-because-it-has-to-be manner; as a mere matter of duty; to be
+permitted by sufferance; joyless, disgusting in itself; a something
+to be avoided, even in thought, other than it is a necessity for the
+continuance of the race.
+
+_It is from such data as this that thousands of "innocent" brides
+annually make up their minds as to what is right or wrong in the
+matter of sexual intercourse._
+
+In doing this, most of these young women are perfectly conscientious,
+and want to do the right thing, and there are two items in the count
+that naturally lead them to accept Dr. C.'s teachings as correct. The
+first is, that it coincides with all they have ever heard about such
+matters; the second, that the Doctor flavors all his text with a
+religious quality, of the alleged most sacred sort. He instances
+saintly women who have lived the most ascetic lives, and whose
+religious status was achieved because, and by means of, their perfect
+chastity. In fact, this word "chastity" (which he translates as entire
+renunciation of the whole sex nature) becomes the test word of his
+whole treatise, and its practice is upheld as the true road to all
+goodness and virtue.
+
+Now, nearly all well-bred and cultivated young women are naturally
+religious (and not a word should be said against their being so) and
+they are anxious to time their lives to everything that the highest
+religious demands prescribe. It is, therefore, most natural that,
+being thus taught by an authority for which they have the highest
+regard, they enter marriage with the _fixed opinion_ in accordance
+with their teaching. How could it be otherwise?
+
+On the other hand, a few young husbands, indeed none but now and then
+a "goody-good" (who usually turns out to be the worst of the whole
+lot, in course of time), are willing to "stand for" any such theory,
+much less to live any such life as this theory would impose. These
+"don't care what the book says," and, from the manner of their
+bringing up, from all they have learned or heard by hearing _men_ talk
+about married life, (which is usually of the most vulgar sort) they
+have come to the conclusion that marriage confers upon the parties the
+_right_ to engage in sexual commerce at will; and, especially, that
+the husband has the _right_ to the body of his wife _whenever he
+chooses_. For, indeed, does not the law give him that right! And so
+long as one "keeps inside the law" what more could be asked! Yea,
+verily! What more could be asked?
+
+So it is that _most brides and bridegrooms go to their marriage bed
+with the most widely diverse views as to what is right and wrong in
+the premises_--as to the life they will lead in their new estate. The
+young wife is for "purity" and "chastity." The young husband, driven
+by a passion which he has long held in thrall, in the belief that he
+can now give the fullest vent to it, when he has got where such relief
+is possible, is like an excited hound when it seizes its prey, which
+he fully believes he has the right to deal with as he pleases! What
+wonder that, in view of all these circumstances, the most extensive
+observer of marriage-bed phenomena should write: "_As a matter of
+fact, nine young husbands in ten practically rape their brides at
+their first sexual meeting." Could anything be more horrible, or
+criminally wicked_? And it is all so needless! It is all the result of
+ignorance, of "innocence," and the worst of false teaching. The pity
+of it!
+
+True, these unfortunate conditions are often modified by "mother
+nature," who inspires the bride with curiosity, which, in a measure,
+controls her in spite of her false teachings, and with passion, which,
+to a degree, will assert itself over and above all false modesty, her
+religious scruples and her fear of pregnancy; and so she _may_ come
+through the ordeal of introduction to the act of coitus in a fairly
+sane condition of mind, even though she may have practically been
+_raped_! But, too often, the result of such first contact is _a shock
+to the bride from which she may not recover during all the subsequent
+years of married life_! And "here is where the trouble lies," for
+untold thousands of married men and women, all over the civilized
+world, to-day. And it might all be so different! It ought, _in every
+case_, to be all so different! But if it ever does become different,
+_knowledge_ has got to take the place of "_innocence"_ on the part of
+the _bride_, and of _ignorance_ on the part of the _bridegroom_, both
+of whom must be _taught_ to "_Know what they are about_" before they
+engage in the sexual act, and be able to meet each other sanely,
+_righteously, lovingly,_ because they both _desire_ what each has to
+give to the other; in a way in which neither claims any _rights_, or
+makes any _demands_ of the other--in a word, in _perfect concord_
+of agreement and action, of which mutual love is the inspirer, and
+_definite knowledge_ the directive agent.
+
+Such a first meeting of bride and bridegroom will be no raping affair.
+There will be no shock in it, no dread, no shame or thought of shame;
+but as perfectly as two drops of water flow together and become one,
+the bodies and souls of the parties to the act will mingle in a unity
+the most perfect and blissful that can ever be experienced by human
+beings in this world. This is no dream! It is a most blessed reality,
+which all normally made husbands and wives can attain to, if only they
+are properly _taught and educated_, if only they will learn how to
+reach such blissful condition.
+
+However, such greatly desired status is not to be had for the asking
+merely. _Instinct can never bring it about; "innocence"_ will never
+yield such a result; and _force_, or the declaration of a "_right_"
+in the premises will forever banish it to the realm of the
+never-to-be-realized. It can only come as a result of clear-headed
+thinking, scientific investigation, honest study, wise and righteous
+action under the given conditions; and, above all, _a love, each for
+the other, that knows no bounds_. All these things _must_ obtain,
+_on the part of both parties concerned_, or the desired results can
+_never_ be attained.
+
+Having said which, here shall follow some suggestions as to how such
+estate may be reached by the readers of these pages.
+
+But first, let us finish Dr. C., and all of his tribe--banish them from
+all our reckoning in these matters, forever.
+
+As already shown, this argument has not a leg to stand on. These
+writers treat the whole situation as though men and women were _mere
+animals! Men and women are far more than mere animals, and God hath
+made them so_! And for these reasons we will have respect for men and
+women as _God has made them_, rather than as Dr. C. and the "purity
+leagues" say God _should_ have made them!
+
+As a matter of fact, the secondary function of sex in the human family
+is something _far above_ mere animality; it is something that mere
+animals know nothing about, that they can never experience, or in any
+way attain to, and these _fundamental differences_ in the premises
+remove the whole issue from the realm of comparison with any forms or
+functions of mere animal life. As well reason that animals never eat
+cooked food, and so men ought never to eat cooked food (and there are
+some people who do so reason, strange to say) or that animals do
+not wear clothes, and so men ought not to wear clothes--as well make
+these, or a score more of comparisons, between the human race and mere
+animals, as to try to compare them in the item of their sex functions.
+
+In only the single fact that, on the physical plane merely, coitus
+for the purpose of procreation is common to all animal life, mankind
+included, is there a point of comparison between humanity and the
+brute creation. _Beyond that point there is nothing comparable between
+the two_! As well say that because beasts can hear, therefore they
+can comprehend and enjoy a Beethoven Sonata, or because they have eyes
+they can delight in a picture by Corot!
+
+This is only another way of saying that sex has functions and uses in
+the human family that are entirely apart from the possibilities of all
+other animal life--functions as much above mere animality as music is
+above mere physical hearing, as painting above mere physical sight.
+
+These facts forever upset and overthrow all the theories of Dr. C. and
+Co., they entirely eliminate the whole bunch from any part or lot in
+the issue on which they have essayed to speak with such authority,
+but whose main point, whose essential elements they have _entirely
+misunderstood_, and hence have treated in a way that is wholly at
+variance with the truth in the premises, and it is the truth that we
+are looking for.
+
+Once more (for it is well to go to the bottom of this matter while we
+are about it) the honest truth is, that _it is the universal practice
+of the human race for men and women to cohabit for other purposes than
+reproduction, and it has always been so_, since men and women were men
+and women! It is true among the most savage and barbarous tribes of
+the earth, and it is more emphatically true of the highly civilized
+people in all lands and climes. And is it reasonable to suppose that
+such a universal phenomenon should _not_ have been intended to be as
+it is! As well say that appetite for food is a mistake, one that ought
+to be eliminated!
+
+Again, the experiences of men and women, all over the world, prove
+that, where this act is engaged in properly, according to the laws
+that obtain in the premises, _it conduces to the highest physical,
+mental, and spiritual well-being of the parties concerned_. Indeed, it
+is beyond doubt true that the men and women who have never known this
+most perfect of all human experiences, have never reached the summit
+of human attainment, have never arrived at the perfection of manhood
+and womanhood. Length of life, health of the highest sort, and
+happiness, the most delectable--all come, these and more, to men and
+women by this route, _if it is rightly traveled_. Hell and damnation
+result if that road is wrongly trod!
+
+And that's what makes the manner of traveling it so important.
+
+
+
+
+VI
+
+THE ACT OF COITUS
+
+
+Strictly speaking, the act of coitus should be considered as composed
+of four parts, or acts, of one common play, or drama. Not that there
+is a sharp line of demarcation between each act or part, for the
+_four_ really blend into _one_ composite whole, when taken together,
+seriatim; but there are _four phases_ of the act which may well be
+studied separately, in making a detailed review of a sexual meeting of
+a man and a woman.
+
+These four parts are: _first_, the preparation for the act; _second_,
+the _union_ of the organs; _third_, the motion of the organs;
+_fourth_, the orgasm.
+
+In what immediately follows, these _four_ stages of the act of coitus
+will be studied and traced in detail, with the utmost care, in the
+hope that such pursuit may result in the best possible good to the
+student.
+
+Regarding the _first_ part of the act, let it be said that here, above
+all other situations in the world "_haste makes waste_." _Put that
+down as the most fundamental fact in this whole affair!_ Right here is
+where ninety-nine one-hundredths of all the troubles of married life
+begin! And the fault, right here, is usually (though not always) with
+the husband! But he doesn't mean to be bad. Not once in a thousand
+times does he deliberately purpose to do wrong. He is simply the
+victim of undirected and ungoverned passion, and of an _ignorance_
+which results in stupid blundering, or carelessness, or
+thoughtlessness. What such a husband practically does is to rush
+blindly and furiously along a way he knows nothing of, but which he
+has been led to think he has a _right_ to travel _when and how he
+will_! The ordinary figure of a "bull in a china shop" can but faintly
+describe the smashing and grinding to powder of the most delicate
+situation that can occur in all human experiences, that result from
+such action as this. Ideals that have touched heaven are tumbled from
+their lofty places and ruthlessly crushed to atoms; hopes that were
+beyond the power of words to express go out in despair; dreams become
+a hideous nightmare; and love, which was as pure as crystal waters, is
+muddied, befouled, and made into a cesspool! _And all this because of
+ignorance_ or careless hurrying, of making haste where the utmost of
+time, caution and intelligent care should have obtained!
+
+As has already been explained, when the act of coitus is to be
+engaged in, the sex organs of both the man and the woman undergo great
+changes. Blood rushes to all these parts, in copious quantities,
+till they become gorged. The result is that the penis is enlarged to
+several times its dormant size, and the vulva and vagina should,
+and will, under right conditions, undergo similar changes and
+transformation.
+
+_But there is usually a great difference in the length of time it
+takes for these changes to take place in men and women_. On the part
+of the man, as soon as his passion is aroused to any considerable
+extent, the penis at once makes itself ready for action. It
+"tumesces," or swells itself hard, almost instantly; and, so far as
+its mere physical stoutness is concerned, is as ready to enter the
+vagina then as ever, even if it has to force itself in.
+
+On the other hand, the tumescence of the parts in women is usually,
+(especially as girls are reared) not infrequently, a matter of
+considerable time, not infrequently several minutes, and now and then,
+of _half-an-hour or more_! This is not always so, for in some very
+passionate women they are ready for action almost instantly. Indeed,
+there are some women whose sex organs tumesce if they (the women) even
+touch a man--any man--and occasionally a case occurs where a woman
+will experience an orgasm if her clothing brushes against a man! Such
+cases are, of course, abnormal. But, _for the most part_, it is true
+that women are _much slower_ in making ready for the sexual act than
+men are.
+
+Again, as the organs become ready for the act, nature has provided a
+most wonderful means for bringing about their easy and happy union.
+Both the male and female organs secrete and emit, or pour out, a sort
+of lubricating fluid which covers and sometimes almost floods the
+parts. This is a clear and limpid substance, that looks much like the
+white of an egg, and is much like the saliva that is secreted in
+the mouth, only it is a thicker substance. Chemically, it is almost
+identical with saliva. That generated by the man is called "prostatic
+flow;" that produced by the woman "pre-coital secretion."
+
+Now, if time is given for this fluid to be secreted and exuded, all
+the parts become covered or saturated with it, and they are admirably
+equipped for easy union. The glans penis is then covered with the
+slippery fluid, and the vulva and all the walls of the vagina are
+laved with the substance. At the same time, the vaginal walls have
+widened and grown soft, and all the parts of the vulva (which are yet
+to be named and described in detail) are in like condition. The result
+is that, though the penis be what might at first seem of such size as
+to make its entrance into the vagina impossible, as a matter of fact,
+such entrance is perfectly easy, when the parts are fully ready to be
+joined. _But not before or otherwise!_
+
+So here is where the trouble comes. If the husband is in haste, if he
+does not wait for the wife to become ready to meet him; if he forces
+his large, hard penis into the vagina before either is fully ready
+for such union--when there is no prostatic fluid on its glans, and the
+vagina is shrunken and its walls are dry--if coitus is engaged in in
+this way, it is perfectly easy to see that _only disaster can result_!
+The woman is hurt, sometimes most cruelly, and the man in reality gets
+only a beastly gratification from the act. _Of all bad things in all
+the world, such manner of coition is the worst_!
+
+And so, in this _first_ part of the act, the one foremost thought to
+remember and observe is, _take plenty of time!_
+
+There is another reason why, on the part of woman, this time should
+be extended, especially when she is a bride and inexperienced in these
+matters, and that is, that her "innocence," and all her education,
+make her feel that she is _doing wrong_, or at least permitting a
+wrong thing to be done, and this holds back the proper growth of her
+passion, hinders the tumescence of her sex organs, delays the flow
+of the precoital secretion, and so keeps her from becoming properly
+prepared for her share of the mutual act.
+
+Again, her fear of pregnancy may still further retard her coming into
+a proper condition. Indeed, this last is the almost common cause for
+her failing to be in readiness for meeting her husband. All of
+which items must be taken into account by both husband and wife,
+and intelligently, lovingly dealt with, if the best results for both
+parties are attained.
+
+As regards the item of possible pregnancy, special note will be made
+of this feature later on. It is here placed in abeyance for the time
+being, because its consideration can be better provided for after some
+other points have been studied.
+
+Now the one easily understood (and as easily practiced as understood)
+direction as to what to do by way of preparation for the act of coitus
+is: _do as lovers do when they are "courting."_ And everybody knows
+what that is! And note this--that _nobody ever hurries when they are
+courting!_ They delay, they protract, they dilly-dally, they "fool
+around," they pet each other in all sorts of possible and impossible
+ways. They kiss each other--"long and passionate kisses, they again
+and again give and receive"--they hug each other, nestle into each
+other's arms--in a word, they "play together" in a thousand-and-one
+ways which the "goody-goods" declare to be wrong, and the cold-blooded
+call nonsense or foolishness, but which all _lovers_ know is an
+_unspeakable delight_ ("unspeakable" is the word, for who wants to
+_talk_ when these blissful experiences are going on!).
+
+Now, these things, and the likes of these things, in limitless supply,
+should always precede the act of coitus. It is right there that this
+part of the first act of this wonderful four-act drama or play should
+be wrought out, and if they are omitted or disregarded, the play
+will end in _tragedy, with all the leading actors left dead upon the
+stage_!
+
+Now the chief, if not the only, reason why this part of the supreme
+act of married life is not always preluded in this way is found in
+the _false view_ of what the _marriage ceremony means_, and a wrong
+impression as to what it confers upon the parties who say "yes" to
+its prescriptions. That is, the common idea is, that the taking of
+"marriage vows" bestows certain _rights_ and imposes certain _duties_
+upon the new husband and wife. It is thought that such ceremony makes
+certain acts _right_ which would _otherwise_ be _wrong_, and that it
+establishes the _right_ to engage in such acts, _with or without any
+further consultation or consent in the premises_. It makes love a
+matter of _contract_, a something _bound by promise and pledge rather
+than a free and unfettered effusion of the soul_.
+
+The result of this is that, whereas, before the marriage ceremony both
+the man and woman take the utmost care to do everything in their power
+to increase, magnify, and retain each other's love, after they
+have been granted a "license," and the minister has put their hands
+together and prayed over them--after this, they both think they have
+a "_cinch_" on each other, that they are bound together by a bond that
+cannot be broken, a tie so strong that it will need no further looking
+after, but which will "stay put" of its own accord, and which
+may therefore be let to shift for itself from the hour of its
+pronouncement! Nothing _could be further from the truth than this is_.
+And yet it is a common feeling and belief among young married people!
+
+Nor is it any wonder that this should be so. The very form of the
+marriage ceremony and contract tends to make it so. The fact that
+marriage originated as a form of slavery, and that much of its
+original status yet remains--all these things tend to establish these
+wrong ideas regarding the estate, in the minds of the parties to it.
+
+Nor are the evils that come from such wrong view of marriage all
+confined to one side of the house. On the contrary, they are
+about evenly divided between husbands and wives, witness a few
+illustrations, as follows:
+
+A couple had been married about a year. They had no children, nor
+were there prospects of any. The husband was beginning to spend his
+evenings away from home, leaving his wife alone. One evening, as he
+was making ready to go out, his wife said: "What makes you go out
+evenings now, and leave me alone! You didn't use to do it!" And the
+husband replied:
+
+"Why, you don't do anything to make it interesting for me now! You
+used to put on your prettiest clothes when I came to see you, fixed
+up your hair bewitchingly, had a smile for me that wouldn't come off,
+would sing for me, read to me, sit on my lap and pet me and kiss me,
+and now you never do anything of the kind." And before he could say
+more, the wife responded: "_Oh, but we are married now, and it's your
+duty to stay with me!_"
+
+What wonder that the husband went out of the house, slamming the door
+after him! The wonder is that he ever came back.
+
+Again: A woman who was a graduate of a famous Eastern College and
+who had taught for a number of years, who was from one of the "first
+families" in the east, and was counted as a lady of the highest
+culture and refinement, finally married a Western business man. On
+their bridal night, as they were retiring, the man laid his hand on
+the woman's bare shoulder, and she threw it off, and said: "Don't
+be disgusting! I married you because I was tired of taking care of
+myself, or of having my relatives take care of me. You are worth fifty
+thousand dollars, and one-third of all that was made mine just as soon
+as the preacher got through his closing prayer, and you can't help
+it! That's the truth, and we are married, and you can make the best of
+it!"
+
+These are both truthful tales, nor are they the only ones of the sort
+that could be told.
+
+On the other hand, these are matched with acts of ignorant and
+careless young husbands, who do dastardly deeds to their brides
+because they think _the law_ and the _contract_ give them the right!
+There is no need to go into details. The whole evil is revealed by the
+words of the woman just quoted: "_Oh, but we are married now_."
+
+These records, and all like them, lead to the remark that _marriage
+confers no rights, to either the bride or the bridegroom, in the
+highest meaning of the word_. So far as its outward and formal
+observance is concerned, marriage is merely a sort of protection for
+society which has grown up through the years, and which is probably
+for the best, for the present, things being as they are. But it should
+be well understood that it can _never_ lead to _true happiness_ if it
+is viewed and utilized _merely_ on its _legal and formal side. True
+marriage is based on mutual love; and mutual love can never be traded
+upon, or made an item of formal agreement and contract._ People may
+contract to live together and to cohabit, and they may faithfully
+carry out their agreements; _but this is not marriage_! It is simply
+_legalized prostitution, bargain and sale, for a consideration. It is
+blasphemy to call it by the sacred name of marriage!_
+
+Truly does Tennyson say: "Free love will not be bound." Indeed it
+cannot be! It must remain forever free if it stays at all. And if the
+parties to it try to bind it, the more chains, fastenings, pledges
+and agreements they put upon it, the sooner and quicker will it escape
+from all its holdings and fly away and _stay away_!
+
+And so, to come back to where we left off (for we said there should be
+no hurrying or haste here) let married people understand that the key
+to married happiness is _to keep on "courting" each other_. Indeed,
+to make courting continually grow to more and more. During the whole
+extent of married life, never neglect, much less forget to be lovers,
+and to show, _by all your acts_, that you are lovers, and great shall
+be your reward. Don't ask how to do this! You know how, well enough.
+Do it!
+
+And be careful _not_ to do anything that a careful lover ought not
+to do! This direction should be heeded by both husband and wife. Make
+yourself beautiful for your husband, Oh, wife, and keep yourself so.
+As between the public, or your friends, or society, give them what of
+yourself you can spare, after you have given to your lover all that
+you can bestow upon him, or he can wish you to bestow. Don't give
+to everybody and everything else, church, society, work, children,
+friends, or what-so-ever--don't give _all_ of yourself to these, and
+let your husband "take what there is left." Don't do that, as you
+value your married success and happiness! Don't say: "Oh, but we are
+married now," and let it go at that!
+
+The beautiful and delicate flowers of married love need to be watched
+and tended with the most skilful care, _continually_, by both husband
+and wife. Treated in this way, they will not only be fragrant and
+lovely through all the years of wedded life; but as, one by one, the
+blossoms shed their petals and change their forms so that luscious
+fruits may come in turn--as these changes take place, new, more
+beautiful and more fragrant flowers will continue to the very end of
+the longest married life. Don't ever forget this, or doubt it, as you
+hope for happiness in the marriage state! Mind what is here said, and
+act accordingly _all the time_--days, nights and Sundays.
+
+Now if these truths are thoroughly inculcated, "kicked in" so firmly
+and deeply that they will never "jar loose" or get away, we will move
+on.
+
+So, then, the _first_ part of _every_ act of coitus should always be a
+_courting_ act, in which there should be _no haste_, but in which the
+parties should "_make delays_," as John Burroughs says.
+
+And this should be added: that, for married lovers, courting has a far
+wider range of possibilities than it has for the unmarried. Previous
+to marriage, there are conventionalities and clothes in the way! After
+that, neither of these need be in evidence, and this makes a lot of
+difference, and all in favor of the best results, if rightly used,
+and made the most of. One hardly need to go into details here, (though
+this may be done later on in this writing). If the lovers will be as
+free with each other unclothed as clothed; if they will utterly ignore
+all conventionalities, and do with and for each other anything and
+everything that their _impulses_ and _inclinations_ suggest, or
+their desires prompt; if they will, _with the utmost abandon_ give
+themselves up to petting each other in every possible way that _mother
+nature_ has put within their reach; if they will hug and kiss and
+"spoon" and "play with each other" just as they want to do--if they
+will do this, and not _hurry_ about it--then, in due course, they
+will successfully execute the _first act_ of the great play they are
+performing; the sex organs will become fully ready for the union they
+are both longing for; the "prostate flow" will have added to the erect
+condition of the penis; the walls of the vagina and all the area
+of the vulva will be enlarged, soft, flexible and made smooth and
+slippery by a most generous supply of the "pre-coital secretion" and
+everything will be in _perfect readiness_ for the next part of the
+performance, namely the union of the organs.
+
+And here it becomes necessary to say something about the position of
+the parties in making such union. There are a large number of these
+possible, some of which may be noted later, but here, only the most
+common one will be considered (it is said there are more than forty
+different positions possible in this act).
+
+The most common position is for the woman to lie flat on her back,
+with her legs spread wide apart, and her knees drawn up so that the
+angle made by the upper and lower part of the leg shall be less than
+a right angle. Her head should not be too high, there should be no
+pillow under it.
+
+Into her arms, and between her spread legs as she lies thus, her lover
+should come. His body will thus be over and above her, and _he should
+sustain himself on his elbows and knees_, so that little or _none_ of
+his weight may rest upon her. In this position, face to face (and
+it should be noted that only in the human family is this position of
+coitus possible! Among mere animals, the male is always upon the back
+of the female. They--mere animals--can never look each other in the
+eye and kiss each other during the act! This is another marked and
+very significant difference between human beings and all other animals
+in this regard) it is perfectly natural and easy for the organs to
+go together, when properly made ready, as here-before described. The
+woman should also place her heels in the knee-hollows of her lover's
+legs, and clasp his body with her arms.
+
+The entrance of the penis into the vagina should not be too abrupt,
+unless circumstances are perfectly favorable for such meeting and it
+is _the wish of the wife_ that it be made in this way. It is only
+fair to say, though, that such bold and pronounced entrance is often
+_greatly desired by the woman_, if her passion has been fully aroused
+at this stage of the act. Such union is not infrequently of the
+greatest delight to her, if everything is favorable for its being
+so made. But, if there is any pain produced in her by the coming
+together, the meeting should be gentle and slow, the penis working its
+way into the vagina by degrees, till, finally, it is entirely encased
+therein. Once thus happily together, the vagina and uterine cavity
+will still further expand, till, in due order, the two organs will be
+fitted together perfectly, a single unit, _one_, in the highest sense
+of unity.
+
+This is the _second_ act in this wonderful play.
+
+Once well together, and the organs perfectly settled and adapted
+to each other, the _third_ act begins, namely, _the motion of the
+organs_--the sliding of the penis back and forth, partly in and out of
+the vagina, though this is not really the best way of describing just
+what should take place. What _should_ actually be done is, that the
+_two_ organs should engage in this motion, which is _common to them
+both_. They should _mutually_ slip a few inches, back and forth, _each
+party to the motion doing a fair half_.
+
+It is often supposed, by both an uninitiated husband and an "innocent"
+wife, that all the motion should originate with the husband--that
+he should slide his penis in and out of the vagina, while the woman
+should lie still and "_let him do it all_." This is, however, a
+_great_ mistake, and one that has caused an endless amount of ill to
+untold numbers of husbands and wives. And for the following reasons:
+
+In the position just described, if the wife has her arms around her
+lover's body and her heels in his knee-pockets, while he supports
+himself by his elbows and knees over and above her, resting _none_ of
+his weight upon her, it is perfectly easy for her to lift her hips up
+and down, or sway them from side to side, or swing them in a circling
+"round-and-round" motion, as she may choose to do. She can thus
+_originate_ her half of the in-and-out motion--a something she will
+delight to do, _if given a fair chance._ If, however, the man lies
+heavily upon her, holding her down with the weight of his body, the
+possibility of such action on her part is prevented, and this results
+disastrously to both parties. And so, in this part of the act, the
+husband should take the _utmost care_ to give his wife the _full and
+complete freedom_ to move her hips as she chooses, and as a successful
+climax demands that she should.
+
+Now if the wife be left free to move, as just described, and the
+in-and-out motion proceeds as it should, what immediately follows will
+vary in a great degree. Thus, the time taken to reach the climax, or
+last act of the performance, may be a few seconds, or several minutes,
+may require a mere half dozen motions, or _several hundred!_ All
+depends on the intensity of the passions of the husband and wife,
+especially the latter, and their skill in manipulating this part of
+the act.
+
+The effect of this motion is to still further excite and still more
+distend all the organs involved. Normally, the motion grows faster and
+faster, the strokes becoming as long as the length of the organs will
+possibly permit without separating them. The flow of the lubricating
+fluids, from both organs, becomes more and more copious, till, all at
+once, the orgasm, or _fourth stage_, is reached!
+
+It is difficult to describe what this orgasm is like. There is no
+bodily sensation that at all corresponds to it, unless it be a sneeze,
+and this is only like it in that it is spontaneous, and a sort of
+nervous spasm (a sneeze is sometimes spoken of as an orgasm). A sexual
+orgasm is a nervous spasm, or a series of pulsating nervous explosions
+which defy description. The action is entirely beyond the control of
+the will, when it finally arrives, and the sensation it produces is
+delectable beyond telling. It is the topmost pinnacle of all human
+experiences. For a husband and wife to reach this climax, at exactly
+the same instant, is a consummation that can never be excelled in
+human life. It is a goal worthy the endeavor of all husbands and
+wives, to attain to this supreme height of sexual possibilities.
+
+On the part of the man, the orgasm throws the semen into, and all
+about the vaginal-uterine tract. The amount of semen thus discharged
+at a single climax is about a tablespoonful, enough to entirely flush
+and flood the area into which it is thrown. Its use and action there
+have already been described, and so need not be repeated here.
+
+On the part of the woman, the orgasm causes no corresponding emission
+of fluid, of any sort, that is jetted forth as is the semen. Yet the
+spasmodic action of the sexual parts, so far as nervous explosions are
+concerned, is exactly like that of her partner. Palpitation follows
+palpitation, through all the sexual area; the mouth of the womb opens
+and closes convulsively, the vagina dilates and contracts again and
+again, and the vulva undergoes similar actions. The sensations are
+all of the most delectable nature, the whole of the woman's body being
+thrilled, over and over, again and again, with delights inexpressible.
+This, however, seems to be the entire mission of the orgasm in woman.
+_It has nothing whatever to do with conception_; though many people,
+especially young husbands who know just a little about the phenomenon,
+believe that it is an _essential_ to pregnancy. _But such is by no
+means the case._ All that is needed to bring about conception in a
+woman is the presence of the ovum in the uterus, and its meeting semen
+there, and so becoming fertilized. So far as becoming pregnant is
+concerned, the _woman_ need have _no pleasure at all_ in the act of
+coitus. Indeed, women have been made pregnant by securing fresh semen
+from some man and injecting it into the vagina with an ordinary female
+syringe!
+
+The false idea, which largely prevails, and which usually takes the
+form that there is no danger or possibility of conception unless the
+orgasm is _simultaneous on the part of the man and woman_, has caused
+many a woman to become pregnant when she thought such a result to
+be impossible, because she and her lover did not "spend" at the same
+instant. For the same reason, many a young husband has impregnated his
+wife when he least expected to do so, thinking that because he alone
+experienced the orgasm, that therefore conception was impossible.
+
+Again, there are many married men and women who do not know that it is
+possible for a woman to experience an orgasm at all! The writer once
+knew a case of this kind, where a husband and wife, most intelligent
+and well cultivated people, lived together for twenty years, and to
+whom were born six children, who, at the end of that time were
+wholly unaware of such possibility! They afterwards discovered it by
+accident, as it were, and after that enjoyed its delights for many
+years. There are some, yea, many, women who never experience this
+sensation at all, but of this more will be said later.
+
+All these phenomena seem to indicate the fact that, so far as women
+are concerned, _the orgasm is entirely for her delectation and
+delight. It forms no part of the act of conception_, and its only
+possible function, beyond that of pleasure, is that, because of the
+exceedingly delightful sensations it produces, it may lure women to
+engage in coitus when, but for this fact, they would not do so, and
+that it thus increases the possibility of women becoming mothers.
+Indeed, there is no stronger temptation to a woman to run the risk of
+becoming pregnant than her desire to experience an orgasm! But more of
+this later.
+
+As soon as the orgasm is over, a total collapse of the husband and
+wife takes place. They are truly "spent," a most expressive word,
+which alone can describe their condition. On the part of the man
+the up-to-this-moment stout penis, becomes almost instantly limp
+and shrunken, while all the female organs become quiescent. A most
+delightful languor steals over them; every nerve and fibre of the
+whole body relaxes; and a desire to fall asleep at once, comes upon
+them irresistibly. And the thing for them to do is to avail themselves
+of such natural impulse, just as soon as possible. They should always
+have at hand, and within easy reach, a towel, or napkin, with which
+to care for the surplus of the seminal emission, which, as soon as the
+organs are separated, will, in greater or less quantity, flow from the
+vagina. Some of the same fluid will also remain upon the penis when
+it is withdrawn. The husband should absorb this surplus which remains
+with him with the towel, as soon as the organs are parted, and
+immediately leave his super-imposed position, leaving his wife
+_perfectly free_, to do as she will. She should arrange the towel
+between her thighs, exactly as she would a sanitary napkin, making no
+attempt to remove the surplus semen at that time, and turn over and go
+to sleep _immediately_. (It is said that if the woman goes to sleep on
+her _back_, after coition, she thereby increases the _probability_,
+of becoming pregnant. This is a point that women who greatly desire
+motherhood should note. The writer knew one case where a wife lay on
+her back for twenty-four hours after coition and so became pregnant
+after all other means had failed.)
+
+Now it might seem that such neglect, on the part of the woman, to
+immediately remove the surplus semen, was uncleanly and unsanitary.
+But this is not at all true, and for this reason: _The semen is a most
+powerful stimulant to all the female sex-organs, and to the whole body
+of the woman_. The organs themselves will absorb quantities of semen,
+if left in contact with it, and it is most healthful and beneficial to
+them, and to the woman, to have them do so. It is for this cause that
+many women increase in flesh, and even grow fat after they are married
+and so can avail themselves of this _healthful food._ As a matter
+of fact, _there is no nerve-stimulant, or nerve-quieter, that is as
+potent to woman-kind as semen_. There are multitudes of "nervous"
+women, hysterical even, who are restored to health, and kept in good
+health, through the stimulative effects of satisfactory coitus and the
+absorption of semen, when both these items are present in perfection.
+On the other hand, there are many women who suffer all sorts of ills,
+when these normally beneficial factors are misused or wrongly applied.
+The results that follow all depend upon the way the act is done, and
+its products utilized.
+
+So, after the act of coition is over, let the woman slip a "bandage"
+into place as soon as possible, and go to sleep. If she sleeps long,
+so much the better, so much more will she be benefited by the presence
+of the semen and its absorption. When she naturally wakens, she may
+bathe the vulva region with warm water; but there is no need of, nor
+is it wise to try to cleanse the vagina and the uterine tract by the
+use of a vaginal syringe. Above all, never inject cold water into the
+vagina, especially do not do this immediately after coitus. Some women
+use a cold water injection immediately after coitus. There is no surer
+way to ill health and ultimate suicide. The parts are congested with
+blood at such times, and to pour _cold_ water upon them is as though,
+when one is dripping with perspiration, he should plunge into a cold
+bath. Nature has made wise provision for taking care of all the semen
+that remains in the vagina. Let the parts alone, and they will cleanse
+and care for themselves.
+
+Such, then, is a somewhat extended review of the act of coitus at its
+best estate, and in a general way. _Its perfect accomplishment is an
+art to be cultivated, and one in which expertness can only be attained
+by wise observation, careful study of all the factors involved, and a
+loving adaptation of the bodies, minds and souls of both the parties
+to the act. It is no mere animal function._ It is a _union_, a _unity_
+of "two _souls_ with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as
+one." There is nothing low or degrading about it, when it is what it
+ought to be, when it is brought to, and experienced at, its highest
+and best estate. It is _God-designed, God-born, God-bestowed!_ As such
+it should be thankfully received and _divinely used_ by all the sons
+and daughters of men.
+
+
+
+
+VII
+
+THE FIRST UNION
+
+
+And now, although so much has been said, there is much that remains to
+be said, and which ought to be said, to do the subject justice. Some
+of these things are as follows:
+
+Something more ought to be told about the second part of the act of
+coitus, the union of the organs, when this occurs for the _first_ time
+on the part of the woman.
+
+At the first meeting of the husband and wife, if the woman be a
+virgin, there are certain conditions which exist, on her part, that
+are not present in after-meetings, and these must be understood and
+rightly dealt with, or the worst of bad results may ensue.
+
+Of course, at such first meeting, all the preliminaries prescribed as
+forming the _first_ movement of the act should be carried out _to the
+limit_. It is not too much to say that these should be prolonged for
+_some days_! Do not start, young husband, at this statement! Well did
+Alexander Dumas, pere, write: "Oh, young husband, have a care in the
+first overtures you make toward your bride! She may shrink from what
+she feels must come; she may put her hands over her eyes to shut out
+the sight; but do not forget that she is a woman, and so is filled
+with _curiosity_, under any and all circumstances! And you may set it
+down as sure, that, though she blinds herself with her hands as she
+scales the dizzy heights you are leading her over, nevertheless,
+_she will peek through her fingers!_ So she will watch you with most
+critical eyes, and note every show of _selfishness or blundering on
+your part! So have a care!_ You may think you are aiming your arrow
+at the sun. See to it that it does not alight in the mud!" Good words
+these, and to be heeded, come what may!
+
+As a rule, if the bride be a virgin, it is well to _let plenty of time
+elapse before engaging in the full act of coitus!_ Delay here will
+lead to a possible loving speed, later on. The young people should
+take time enough to get better acquainted with each other than ever
+before; to become, in a measure, accustomed to the uncovered presence
+of each other, and to the new possibilities of "courting" and "playing
+together" that their new conditions offer. In any case, full coitus
+should not be attempted till the bride is at least _willing_. If
+she can be brought to become _anxious_ for the meeting, so much the
+better.
+
+And so, with plenty of time taken for making ready for the act, we
+come to the first union of the organs for a newly married couple, the
+bride being a virgin. And here is where an explanation is called for.
+
+The vulva, or external part of the female sex organs, is a mouth
+shaped aperture, located laterally between the forward part of the
+thighs. In shape, size and structure, it much resembles the external
+parts of the mouth proper. It begins just in front of the anus, and
+extends forward above the pubic bone and a little ways up the belly.
+Its entire lateral length is about four or more inches.
+
+This organ is made up of several parts, as follows: The lips, or
+labiae, as they are technically known, the clitoris, and the vaginal
+opening. The lips are a double row, two on either side, and are known
+as labiae major and labiae minor, that is, the thicker and thinner, or
+larger and smaller lips. They extend almost the entire length of the
+vulva, the outer lips folding over the inner ones when the thighs are
+together. The outer parts of the larger lips are covered with hair. In
+thickness and quality these labiae are much like the lips of the face
+of each individual, a large mouth and thick lips indicate a large
+vulva and thick labiae and vice-versa. The clitoris is a gland that
+is located forward, on the upper part of the vulva. It corresponds,
+almost exactly, in make-up and function, with the glans penis of the
+male organ. The vaginal opening is at the rear, or lower part of the
+vulva, and leads directly into the vagina proper.
+
+All these parts are composed of most keenly responsive nerves, and
+they are covered with a thin, delicate and exceedingly sensitive
+skin, almost exactly such as lines the cheeks and the mouth. Both the
+clitoris and the lips are filled with expandable blood vessels, and
+in a state of tumescence they are greatly enlarged by a flow of
+blood into the parts. The clitoris, in this condition, undergoes an
+enlargement, or "erection," which is exactly like that of the glans
+penis. So much as to the physiology of this part of the female sex
+organs, all of which should be well understood by every bride and
+bridegroom, though often it is not.
+
+Now, in its virgin state, the vulva has another part, not yet named,
+and this is the hymen, or "maiden-head" as it is commonly known. This
+is a membrane that grows across the forward, or upper part of the
+vaginal opening, and so _closes up_ nearly all that part of the
+vulva. This hymen is not always present, however, even in a state of
+undoubted virginity. Sometimes it is torn away in childhood by the
+little girl's fingers, as she "plays with herself." Sometimes it
+is ruptured by lifting, again it is broken away by the use of a
+large-sized female syringe. _For all these reasons, it is not right to
+conclude that a bride is not a virgin because the hymen is not present
+and in evidence at the first coition._
+
+Now many young husbands, and some young wives, are wholly ignorant of
+the _existence_ of the hymen, and of the troubles it may cause at the
+second part of the sexual act, in a first meeting. This membrane is
+often quite tough and strong. It is grown fast to the lower part of
+the clitoris and to the inside surfaces of the smaller lips, and
+it covers so much of the vaginal opening that it is practically
+impossible for the erect penis to enter the vagina so long as it
+is present. Now if, under these conditions, the bride and groom
+(especially the latter) are ignorant of the real construction of the
+parts, and so should try to make a union of the organs, they would
+find such union obstructed, if not impossible; and if the man,
+puzzled, and impatient, and passion-driven, should _force_ a hasty
+entrance into the vagina, rupturing the hymen ruthlessly, he would
+hurt the woman cruelly, probably cause her to _bleed_ freely from the
+wounded parts, and shock her seriously! All of which would be a score
+against the husband, would brand him as a brute, or a bungler, and so
+tend to make his "sun-aimed arrow alight in the mud."
+
+The thing to do here, is, first of all, to know the situation and to
+talk it over, and carefully, delicately, do the best that can be done
+about it. If the conditions are fully understood by the bride and
+groom, they can, in almost every case, by working and moving together
+carefully, overcome the obstacle, remove the hymen with little or no
+pain or loss of blood.
+
+As a matter of fact, when the time for meeting comes, if all the facts
+are known, and the husband will hold his erect penis still and steady
+against the hymen, the bride will so press against it, and "wiggle
+around" it, that _by her own motions_, she will break the membrane and
+so be rid of it. She knows how much pain she can endure, and when the
+pressure is too hard she can relieve it by her own action! Anyhow,
+what is done _she does_ herself, and so can never charge up against
+her husband!
+
+It is a rare case in which, by mutual willingness, and desire and
+mutual effort to remove the obstruction, it cannot be eliminated
+with satisfaction to both bride and groom. If, however, careful and
+well-executed efforts fail to remove it, the services of a surgeon
+should be procured, and he, by a very simple and almost painless
+operation, can remove the difficulty. But never, _no never_, should
+it be brutally torn away by the force of the husband, and without the
+full willingness of the wife. _Mark this well_. As a matter of fact,
+the wise and practical thing for every bride to do, would be to go to
+a surgeon a few days before her wedding, and have him remove the hymen
+for her. Such operation is nearly painless, and is very easily done.
+Still, to do this might raise a doubt of virginity on the part of the
+husband and so this is a point to be careful about!
+
+The act of removing the hymen is often spoken of as "defloration"--the
+tearing to pieces of a flower. The term is not fortunate. Nothing
+worth while has been taken away by removing the hymen, but much that
+is useful has been acquired. An organ that has outlived whatever
+usefulness it might once have had has been removed, and its going
+has made possible new and beautiful uses in life. If this has been
+accomplished by the mutual desire and effort of the bride and groom,
+it is a cause for joy and not of sorrow; of delight and not of
+mourning. As well weep over the removal of the vermiform appendix as
+for the destruction of the hymen.
+
+With this obstacle rightly overcome, the second act of coitus offers
+no situation that calls for further remark or explanation.
+
+And now a few words about the probabilities of conception resulting
+from coitus, and some matters which are very closely related thereto.
+
+In the first place, every healthy and fairly-well-provided-for husband
+and wife should desire to have children, and should act in accordance
+with such wish. This is not only in harmony with the primary purpose
+of sex in the human family, but it is a response to a natural demand
+of the human soul, in both man and woman. As Bernard Shaw makes Jack
+Tanner say: "There is a father-heart as well as a mother-heart" and
+_parenthood is the supreme desire of all normal and wholesome-minded
+men and women._ It is not an "instinct," but something far above that
+quality.
+
+Parenthood among mere animals is the result of instinct, and of that
+alone, but not so in the human race. Human beings naturally desire to
+make a home for themselves, and a home, in the fullest meaning of that
+word, means _children_ and a "family circle." This is something that
+animals know nothing about. Animal mothers forget and ignore their
+progeny as soon as they are weaned; and animal fathers will, in many
+cases, kill them as soon as they are born, if they get a chance to
+do so. These facts prove that parenthood, in the human family, is
+something much more than in the rest of the animal kingdom. Indeed,
+the whole matter of comparing this quality, as it exists in humanity,
+with that of animals merely, is only a continuance of the similar
+abomination of comparing the sex functions of these two forms of life.
+In the real essentials of existence, they are in no way comparable;
+and to make such is not only folly, but approaches the positively
+criminal. The results of doing so certainly lead to crime.
+
+Fundamentally, then, nearly all men and women marry with the purpose
+and hope of having a family of children. They may not put it that way,
+may not even acknowledge it, even to each other or to themselves; but
+if married people find that they _cannot_ produce, it is a source of
+unspeakable regret to them both. In such cases, the inherent desire
+for parenthood will "cry aloud and spare not." A "barren" woman
+greatly mourns her inability, and will shed bitter tears over the
+fact, if she be truly human; and an "impotent" man will be practically
+despised by all who are aware of his incompetence.
+
+And yet, though all normal men and women desire to have children,
+it is only right that they should desire to have them _as they want
+them_, and _when_ they want them, and not _whenever they may happen
+to come!_ That is, sensible and thoughtful people, who plan definitely
+for the future, want to make the coming of children to them an affair
+of _deliberate_ arrangement, and not of _chance_.
+
+This is not only as it should be, but is really the only right way
+that children should be begotten and born. Which statement calls for
+a few special words on the right of parents to regulate the production
+of progeny.
+
+There is much talk, in some quarters, about "race suicide," and
+the wickedness of deliberately limiting the number of children in a
+family. Such talking and writing arouse anxious questionings in the
+minds of conscientious young married men and women who are desiring to
+do the right thing in the premises, but are uncertain as to what the
+right thing is, and for such are the following words:
+
+Many years ago, an English philosopher and statesman, Malthus by name,
+discovered and announced the fact that the rate of natural increase
+in the human race was several times greater than that of the possible
+rate of production of food supply for their support. Scientifically
+phrased, his statement was that "the rate of increase in humanity
+is in geometrical ratio, while the rate of increase of possible food
+supply is in arithmetical ratio." And from this basis, he reasoned
+that, unless the surplus of human production was in some way cut off
+and destroyed, the whole human race would ultimately demand more food
+supply than could possibly be produced; and so, in due course of time,
+the whole race would perish from starvation!
+
+Then he proceeded to reason that the purpose of disease, plague,
+pestilence, famine, poverty and warfare was to cut off and destroy
+the _surplus_ of humanity, and hence all these alleged evils were
+in reality blessings in disguise, and that _it would be wrong to
+interfere_ with their really beneficent workings! Volumes could be
+written, and they could not tell the half of the misery and evil that
+the promulgation of this doctrine has done for the civilized world,
+but there is no space here for giving any such details; nor need this
+be done, though the statement of the doctrine had to be made to make
+ready for what is to follow.
+
+Now, is it not far more reasonable to suppose that, _since the
+possibility of determining the number of off-spring a husband and wife
+may produce has been given them_; that since such result can be, for
+them, made a matter of _choice_, of an _exercise of the will_, and
+not of _blind instinct_--under these circumstances, all of which
+undoubtedly exist, is it not far more reasonable to believe that it is
+the _purpose of the Creator_ that the limiting of the number of human
+beings in the world should be brought about by _curbing the birth
+rate_, rather than by _killing the surplus_ after they are born!
+
+There can be but one answer made to this question, by any intelligent
+man or woman.
+
+These facts, then, establish the _rightfulness of determining the
+number and size of a family by every husband and wife_. But this does
+not mean that they are to entirely refrain from cohabiting, in order
+to keep from having children! This phase of the argument has already
+been gone over and disposed of. But it _does_ mean that husbands and
+wives have a right to use such rightful means for the limiting of the
+number of offspring as are conducive to the interests of all parties
+concerned--themselves, their circumstances, the born or unborn
+children, the state, the nation. Let the bride and groom be well
+convinced and established in their own minds on these points, as
+early in their relation as possible. They should be so from the very
+outset--_must_ be so, to reach the best results.
+
+The issue then presents itself: How can such deliberate and wilful
+determination of the number of children a husband and wife may have,
+be brought about?
+
+And the answer is, that _it can never be accomplished by careless and
+hap-hazard cohabiting!_ On the contrary, it can only be compassed by
+the most _careful_ and _watchful_ processes of engaging in coitus, and
+by a _full knowledge_ of physiological facts, and by acting, _always_,
+in accordance with the same. It is no road for careless travel, but it
+is a way worth going in, for all that.
+
+On this point, let it be said that all sane and intelligent men and
+women agree that anything even approaching _infanticide_ is nothing
+short of a crime, and that abortion, except for the purpose of saving
+the life of the mother, is practically murder.
+
+But, while this is all true, to prevent the contact of two germs
+which, if permitted to unite, would be liable to result in a living
+human form, is _quite another affair_.
+
+It is only this aspect of the situation which will be considered in
+what follows.
+
+Now, as has already been shown, the essentials for conception consist
+of having the ovum present in the womb, and its meeting the semen
+there. The corollary of this is, that whenever these coincidences take
+place, there is a _possibility_ for conception.
+
+But in all _normal_ cases, the ovum only passes into the womb once in
+every twenty-eight days; and, as a rule, it only remains in the womb
+for about half that period of time, that is, for about 14 or 15 days
+in each month. And so, since the menstrual flow ceases after about
+five days from its beginning, in about ten days _after_ its stopping,
+the ovum will have passed out of the womb, and hence that organ
+contains nothing that is impregnable. Under these conditions, semen
+may be deposited in the womb, without danger of impregnation. This is
+a simple proposition, and easy to understand if once known.
+
+However, it must be said that these _generally_ common conditions _do
+not always obtain_--that is, they are _not_ true in the case of _all_
+women. There are women who will conceive at _any_ time in the month,
+if they are given a chance to do so. The physiological reason for such
+possibility is said to be this: There are always ova in the ovaries,
+in varying stages of development. Ordinarily, only once a month do any
+of these pass down into the womb; but, in exceptional cases, sometimes
+these ova are so partially held in the ovaries that, under the
+excitement of coitus, and because all these parts dilate so much
+during the act, an ovum may slip its moorings, under such conditions,
+pass down into the uterus at an untimely season, meet the semen there,
+and pregnancy result. Such are the facts _in some cases_.
+
+How, then, can a husband and wife tell how it is, or will be, in
+_their_ particular case?
+
+The answer is that they can only tell by trying, and that should be
+done as follows:
+
+The _first_ sexual meeting of the bride and groom should _never_ take
+place until at least _ten days after the ceasing of the menstrual flow
+in the bride! This is a rule that should never be violated_ if the
+parties wish to "_test out_" the real condition as to whether or not
+the bride has any "free time." The chances are several to one that she
+_has_ such leeway; but the fact can only be established by "proving
+up" and this can _never_ be done if any _chances_ are taken. Put this
+down as rule number one.
+
+For this reason, it is well for the bride to fix the wedding day; and,
+if possible, for her to locate it sometime during the probably immune
+period. And the nearer she can bring this day to the _beginning_ of
+such period of freedom from danger of pregnancy, the better. For, if
+it should happen that the first coitus should take place only a
+_day or two before_ the time when another "monthly" was due, such
+excitement might hasten the passage of the nearly-ripe ovum into the
+uterus, and conception might occur. In which case, "all the fat would
+be in the fire," nothing would be proved, and the parties would be as
+ignorant as ever regarding the facts in _their_ case.
+
+And so, the _first_ sexual meeting of a bride and bridegroom should be
+not _earlier_ than _ten days after the ceasing of the menstrual flow
+and not later than three days before the next monthly is due. Put
+that_ _down as rule number two, never to be violated._
+
+And if marriage takes place before this period of probable immunity
+on the part of the bride arrives, the only safe thing to do is to
+"patiently wait" till such time arrives. This may "require fortitude"
+on the part of both parties, but it is the only safe thing to do. And
+to do just that, will amply repay such waiting. The writer knows of a
+case where the wedding took place just three days before the bride's
+next monthly was due, and she and her husband waited for more than
+_two weeks_ before they met sexually! But it paid to wait, for their
+doing so proved that the bride had _two weeks_ of "_free time_" in
+_each month, and this was worth all it cost to find out! Take time!_
+
+And now let it be added that it is a great accomplishment for a
+husband and wife to be free from a fear of pregnancy as a result of
+coitus. This is a thousand times truer for the woman than for the man,
+for it is she who has to bear the burden of what follows, if following
+there be. The husband can "do the deed" and go about his business. The
+wife, if "the fertile seed" takes root, has before her months of care
+and anxiety, and she risks her very life in what may come of it all.
+For these reasons, she has a _right to dictate all the terms_ which
+are liable to cause her to become a mother. _And yet she should
+do this with full regard for the husband, in love, in true
+wifely-womanhood._ On this point, do not fail to read "The Helpmate,"
+by May Sinclair. It is a story that no bride and bridegroom should
+fail to read and study, carefully.
+
+The whole subject of how to engage in satisfactory coitus and avoid
+pregnancy may be summed up as follows:--The attainment of such
+a condition is well worth the most careful, earnest and honestly
+pains-taking endeavor. For, if such status be not reached, its lack
+will be a source of endless contentions and differences between the
+husband and wife. It will lead to jealousies, quarrels, and all sorts
+of marital woes. But, the situation once mastered, by the most loving
+and accurate of scientific methods of procedure, a happy married life
+is certain to result. Otherwise, the "married state" will always be
+in a condition of "unstable equilibrium." So let every bride and
+bridegroom begin, _from the first_, to try to establish the greatly to
+be desired accomplishment. If anything further on this point should be
+desired, consult a reliable physician.
+
+
+
+
+VIII
+
+THE ART OF LOVE
+
+
+And still there is more to be said! Is it not written that "Art is
+long!" _And the Art of Love is the longest of all arts, and the most
+difficult of all for its complete mastery and attainment!_
+
+It is a matter of misfortune, and yet one of not infrequent
+occurrence, that the sex organs of husband and wife are _not well
+matched_; and that trouble, sometimes of a most serious nature,
+results. When this condition is found to exist, it should be treated
+sanely and wisely, and the chances are many to one that the difficulty
+can be overcome, to the full satisfaction of both parties concerned.
+
+In such cases, the mis-matching usually arises from the fact that the
+penis of the husband is too long for the vagina of the wife. This is
+very apt to be the case where the wife is of the "dumpy" sort, with a
+small mouth and short fingers, while the husband is "gangling," large
+mouthed and long fingered. These are facts that ought to be taken
+into account before marriage, and which should figure in determining
+whether the parties are "suited" to each other. They _would_ be
+regarded in this way, too, if they were generally known, as they most
+surely are not. Here is another place where ignorance and "innocence"
+get in their work, and make trouble in married life!
+
+In such a case as this, the too-long penis, when fully inserted in the
+too-short vagina, and especially when, at the orgasm, the two organs
+are crowded together vigorously, as the impulse of both parties
+demands they should be at this part of the act, the end of the penis
+is driven against the rear walls of the vagina, often furiously, thus
+stretching and straining the vaginal passage longitudinally, pressing
+against the womb unnaturally, and not infrequently pushing it out
+of place and sometimes rupturing the uterine tract seriously, hence
+causing all sorts of unfortunate and greatly-to-be-regretted results.
+
+Because of such danger, the first meeting of the husband and wife
+should be accomplished with the utmost care, especially in the
+_second_ part of the act, the first putting together of the organs.
+This is the only way of determining, in each case, how the organs will
+"fit," and happy are the parties thereto if such fit is found to be
+perfect!
+
+But if it should turn out that there is a mismatching, of the nature
+just described, the conditions can be adjusted if the right means are
+used.
+
+(Before telling this, however, it should be stated that the relative
+size of the sex organs can never be fully judged of by the size of the
+body of a man or a woman. Many a small man has an abnormally large
+and long penis, and many a little woman has a large vulva and a long
+vagina; and the reverse of all this is true, in the case of many men
+and women. These items in the count are among the things that can
+never be known with certainty except by actual trial, and this is not
+possible, as things are now.)
+
+And so, if "mis-matching" is found to exist, in any given case, it can
+be provided for, in most cases as follows:
+
+Instead of taking the position for coitus which has already been
+described--the woman on her back and the man over and above her--let
+_this_ be done: Let the man lie on his left side, or partly on his
+left side and partly on his back, facing the woman, his left leg drawn
+up so that the thigh makes an angle of 45 degrees with the body, and
+the knee bent at about the same angle. Now let her, lying on her right
+side, mount into his arms, in this way: Let her place her right hip in
+the angle made by her husband's left thigh and his body, so that _his
+left leg_ supports _her hips_, by being under them; put her right leg
+between his legs, throw her left leg over his right leg, put her right
+arm around his neck, and her left arm should be placed across his body
+under his right arm. His left arm should be placed around her waist
+from below, and his right arm left free to move over her body, as
+he may choose. Now in _this_ position, the man's hips make a sort of
+saddle into which the woman "vaults" easily, naturally, and with the
+greatest of comfort; while the man, with his whole body supported by
+the bed, as he lies, will be perfectly comfortable, and can maintain
+the position much longer, without tiring, than he could were he over
+and above the woman, supporting himself by his elbows and knees, and
+with the woman's arms around his waist, lifting her body thereby, and
+thus adding her weight to his, all to be sustained by him. A moment's
+consideration will disclose the fact that this position has many
+points in its favor, beyond that of the man-superior form. The woman,
+in this position, is not wholly superior, but she is partly on her
+right side and partly on her belly. Her whole weight rests on her
+husband's body, but her weight does not tire him, as the bed below him
+easily supports them both.
+
+Now, in this position, the sex organs are brought closely together and
+their union is easily accomplished. But see! It is _now_ the _woman_,
+and not the _man_ who has _full control_ of such meeting, and so can
+regulate it to _her liking_, or _needs_. Her hips are perfectly free
+to move towards, or from, those of the man; and so _she can determine
+just how much or how little of his penis shall enter her vagina!_ And
+if his penis is too long for her, she can accommodate her action to
+such fact!
+
+As for the man, his satisfaction will be fully equal to, if not
+greater than it would be were he in the other position. The ease
+afforded to his body, and the fact that he need have no fear of
+hurting the woman, these things will be a delight to him, that is of
+real value, and which will make for his delectation as much as for
+that of the woman in his arms. The in-and-out motion is as easily
+performed in this position as in the other; and at the climax, the
+organs can be crowded together passionately, and still without hurting
+the woman. For she, being free to move, can so curve her hips that
+the pelvic bone, the _mons veneris_, as it is technically called, will
+receive the most of the pressure, and at the same time the angle which
+is thus made by the relative positions of the vagina and the penis
+will keep the latter from penetrating the vagina too far, and so
+will protect its rear walls and the womb from all danger of harm. The
+orgasm is just as perfect in this position as in the other. It is just
+as _natural_ as the other position, and has only to be tried to be
+proved worthy.
+
+And now one other point. (Curious how these details protract
+themselves. But there is no help for it. We must continue, now that we
+have begun.)
+
+A very frequent cause of married unsatisfaction is the fact of the
+_difference of time_ that it takes for the husband and wife to come to
+the climax, the orgasm. As has already been noted, the highest delight
+in the act comes when this climax is simultaneous, comes at exactly
+the same instant to both parties. But to bring this about is not easy
+in all cases, and hence what follows:
+
+As a rule, women are slower in reaching the orgasm than are men. This
+is not always so, but it is generally the case. Some wives are so
+passionate that they will "spend" several times to their husbands'
+once! The author knows of a case where the wife will regularly
+experience the orgasm four or five times to her husband's once. She is
+a lovely wife and a highly accomplished woman, in no sense "fleshy" or
+"worldly minded." The situation is that her sex organs are exceedingly
+sensitive while those of her husband are the reverse, they are "timed"
+differently, that is all. The case is rare, and as a rule, women are
+"timed" slower than men.
+
+Again, after a man has passed the orgasm it is, in most cases,
+impossible for him to continue the act, right then and there, and
+bring the woman to the climax, if she has not yet arrived, from the
+fact that, with the expulsion of the semen, usually detumescence of
+the penis at once takes place, and the organ is incapable of exciting
+the woman when in this condition. And so, if the husband "goes off"
+_first_, there is no possibility of the wife's reaching the climax
+at that embrace. This leaves her unsatisfied, all her sex organs
+congested, and the whole situation is unsatisfactory, in the extreme.
+On the other hand, if the wife comes to the orgasm first, her vulva
+and vagina detumesce but little and that very slowly, so that it is
+perfectly possible for the husband to continue his action, and come to
+the climax, even if his partner has already "spent."
+
+Under these conditions it is easy to see that, where the wife is
+"keyed" or "timed" much slower than her husband, as is quite often
+the case, coitus is very liable to be a very one-sided affair, one in
+which the _husband gets all the satisfaction, and the wife little or_
+NONE--_a most unfortunate status for both parties, but especially for
+the wife._ The writer once knew a case where a husband and wife lived
+together to celebrate their golden wedding, and the wife never once
+experienced an orgasm, though the husband cohabited with her several
+times a month, during the most of their married life. There was no
+good reason why this should have been so, only that the husband was
+"quick in action" and the wife somewhat slow, and they had never
+synchronated their time differences. The dear old lady died at ninety,
+never having known a joy that, since her bridal night, she had wished
+for. Both the husband and wife were most excellent people. _They
+simply didn't know!_ One was ignorant and the other innocent, and
+there you are again!
+
+Now the thing to do, under such circumstances, is for the parties
+to "get together." And the way to do this is, first, to _prolong the
+FIRST part_ of the act, till the wife has not only caught up with, but
+is even _ahead_ of her husband in the state of her passion. To bring
+about this condition, _the husband should use every means to stimulate
+his wife's sex-nature and increase her desire for coition._ Here are
+some things he can do, which will tend to produce such results:
+
+A woman's breasts are directly connected with all her reproductive
+nerves. This is especially true of her nipples. To touch them is to
+directly excite all of her sex organs. The lips and tongue are also
+thus nervously connected with these vital parts, and, so, if the
+husband will "play" with his wife's breasts, especially with her
+nipples, manipulating them with his fingers, or, better still, with
+his lips and tongue--at the same time, if he will stroke her vulva
+with his fingers, especially the clitoris, _and if she will encourage
+him to do this_, by holding her breast with one hand, shaking it about
+as her nipple is in her lover's lips; if, lying flat on her back, her
+husband at her right side, and with his left arm around her waist, she
+will spread her legs wide apart, thus opening the vulva to its utmost,
+and sway her hips, raising and lowering them betimes; and, since she
+has a free hand, if, with this, she will take her husband's penis with
+it and "play" with it as her lover plays with her vulva--if they will
+do this, the cases are rare in which passion will not grow in the wife
+to almost any desirable extent. Under such "courting," the parts will
+all enlarge, the pre-coital secretion will flow in abundance; and,
+in due course, all will be ready for the second part of the act. This
+part of coitus is, really, one of the most enjoyable of the entire
+performance.
+
+If, perchance, the pre-coital secretion should be tardy in appearing
+on the part of the wife, so that the vulva is dry as the husband
+strokes it, let him moisten the part with saliva from his mouth. To do
+this, let him moisten his _fingers_ from his mouth, and transfer this
+to the vulva, and then proceed with his stroking. This moistening the
+vulva with saliva may be repeated _several_ times, _if necessary_,
+always until the flow of pre-coital fluid from the parts themselves
+renders any further moistening needless. _The stroking of the dry
+vulva will do little toward the arousing of passion, or producing the
+pre-coital flow_. But if the parts be moistened, as above directed,
+both these desired results will follow, except in _very_ rare cases.
+
+And let no one make the mistake of thinking that thus moistening the
+vulva with saliva is unseemly, or unsanitary. It is neither. On the
+contrary, it is nature's way of helping to perfection an act which,
+but for such timely assistance, might never be brought to a successful
+issue. As has already been noted, chemically, saliva and the
+pre-coital fluid are almost identical. They are both a natural
+secretion of a mucous membrane, are alkaline in reaction, their native
+purpose is lubrication, and, as a matter of fact, the saliva is
+as natural an application to the lips of the vulva as it is to the
+interior of the mouth or throat. Truth to tell, the practice of
+applying saliva to the genitals before coition is very general,
+so much so that it might almost be counted as instinctive. It is
+mentioned here only to remove any prejudice that might linger in the
+sophisticated mind of the reader. Such use of saliva is no more to
+be deprecated than its application in a hundred other ways, such as
+moistening the fingers to turn a leaf, of "licking" one's fingers
+after eating candy. Such use of this fluid from the mouth might be
+condemned by the "over-nice," but it is quite universally practiced,
+and it is neither unwholesome nor unsanitary.
+
+It is sometimes recommended that some form of oil, as sweet oil
+or vaseline, be used as an unguent for anointing the parts before
+engaging in coitus, but this practice cannot be recommended. Oil
+is not a natural product of the parts to which it is applied, it is
+chemically unlike their secretions, and to smear the delicate organs
+with a fluid that is foreign to their nature, is unwise, unsanitary,
+not to say filthy. It is like greasing the mouth to make food slip
+down easily. And it is easy to understand how such application of
+an unguent to the mouth would impair the taste, dull the nerves of
+sensation, and greatly interfere with the native and wholesome uses of
+the oral cavity.
+
+So don't be afraid or ashamed to use saliva in preparing the vulva and
+the vagina for the reception of their natural mate.
+
+And so, to return to where we left off, if the wife is slower
+timed than her husband, her passion can be greatly increased by the
+manipulation just described. Indeed, it could be very easily carried
+to such length--the lips and tongue playing with the nipple, and the
+finger-stroking of the vulva--that the woman could be brought to
+an orgasm without the union of the organs at all! This is a form of
+masturbation (this word has a bad meaning attached to it, but it is a
+good word, as will shortly be shown, and it has its legitimate uses;
+but, as a preparation for coition, it should not be carried any
+further than is essential for bringing the laggard passion of the
+woman up to an equal tension of that of her lover.) A few weeks', or
+months', practice will enable a wife to determine just how much
+of this form of "courting" will bring her to the desired point of
+excitement; and, when this point is reached, she should invite her
+husband to "come up over," if the first position is to be adopted for
+the rest of the act; or, she should throw herself into her lover's
+arms, if the second position is used.
+
+Just a little more--If, after getting into one position or the other,
+it seems to the wife that she is not yet fairly abreast of her husband
+in the intensity of her passion, let her _still further_ seek to
+advance it, as follows:
+
+If the position with the husband superior is taken, let him, after he
+has gotten into place and before the organs are united, have his wife
+take his penis in her hand, and, as he moves his hips up and down,
+stroke her vulva, especially the clitoris, with the glans penis--not
+entering the vagina at once, but continuing this form of _exterior_
+contact of the organs, for a longer or shorter time--slipping past the
+wide open vaginal mouth, even when the wife raises her thighs and,
+as it were, begs for an entrance; tantalizing her to the point of
+distraction--till, finally, she will "take no for an answer" no
+longer, but will, in an ecstacy, slip the penis into the vagina, and
+thus consummate their union.
+
+If she be far enough abandoned with her passion, such entrance may be
+made at a single stroke, not to say a furious plunge. But if the vulva
+and vagina are not yet fully dilated, the entrance should be carefully
+made, gently made, as she can bear it, as _she_ wishes it to be.
+
+Sometimes, yes, not infrequently, in this position, the external
+stroking of the organs may be continued to the very verge of the
+orgasm, so that, especially if the entrance can be made, as it were,
+in a frenzy of passionate delight, the organs coming into full length
+union at a single impulse, or rushing together--then the simultaneous
+climax _may_ be reached with one or two in-and-out motions--or,
+perhaps the single master-plunge may win the goal instanter! If so, a
+consummation devoutly to be wished has been successfully reached!
+
+Again, if the wife is slow, and the man is quick, in this play for
+"getting together," it will enable the man to greatly extend and
+protract what might be called the time of his possible _retention_,
+if he can keep the foreskin over the glans penis. Some men cannot do
+this. If they have been circumcised, of course they cannot! But if the
+glans penis can be covered with the foreskin during all this playing
+together, it will enable the husband to prolong his "retentional
+time" far beyond what he otherwise could. Some men have the power of
+"retaining" to almost any length of time by the exercise of their will
+power, and so they can _wait_ for their wives. If the wife is slower
+timed than the husband, he should _carefully cultivate the "art of
+retaining"_ and so wait for her. _To do this successfully will greatly
+increase married happiness_.
+
+This same remark (keeping the gland covered) applies with equal force
+to the possibilities of the man's retention after the organs are
+united, and all through the third part of the act. If the penis can
+enter the vagina with its "natural cap on," the husband can give his
+wife the pleasure of many times the amount of in-and-out motion than
+he could otherwise bestow upon her. And if the wife is the slower of
+the two (as is generally the case) she will greatly appreciate such a
+favor, and will repay it a THOUSAND FOLD by the responsive, reciprocal
+motions which she will LAVISH upon her _considerate_ lover.
+
+This is an item of almost supreme importance--this "keeping the
+cap on" the penis, during the act, _if the wife is slower than the
+husband_--if they need to have a care, to insure their "getting off
+together."
+
+And here is a curious fact, which would seem to show that Mother
+Nature has especially provided a blissful reward for both the husband
+and wife who will be careful on this point. Thus, if the husband will
+be careful to have the glans penis covered with the foreskin (and, of
+course, this can _never_ be, if the organs are united when the vulva
+and vagina are dry) when it enters the vagina, and will so engage in
+the in-and-out motion that it will _stay covered_ as the _third_ act
+progresses--if this is done, when the climax comes, if the two
+"spend together," the womb will open its mouth as it were, clasp
+the foreskin, slip it back over the gland so that, when the supreme
+instant comes, the naked gland will be in the most direct and blissful
+contact with the most sensitive part of the uterus! This is a most
+wonderful provision of nature, and to utilize it, and enjoy it to its
+utmost, is the maximum of human delight!
+
+Again, if after the organs are well together, in the man-superior
+position, and the in-and-out motion has begun, it should be found
+that the wife is still behind in the game, she can gain greatly in
+"catching up" if she is permitted to _originate_ the larger part of
+the motion. To enable her to do this, let her husband hold his body
+quite well above her, so that she can have plenty of freedom to move
+her hips as she may choose to. Added to this, if the husband will, in
+large measure, "hold still," and keep his penis in such position that
+it presses against the _upper part_ of the vulva, that is against the
+clitoris, (as the phrase goes, if he will "ride high") and then permit
+his _wife_ to make "long strokes," sliding the organs together for
+their full possible length, with the clitoris in constant contact with
+the penis, during the whole of each stroke--all of this will greatly
+and rapidly increase her passions and bring her to the climax.
+
+Or, as a variation from this, if the organs can be united to their
+fullest possible limit, so that the base of the penis presses firmly
+against the Mons Veneris, and the clitoris and labiae almost clasp
+their mate; and then, in this position, if the husband will maintain
+the _status quo_, while she lifts her hips hard against his, and
+_swings them about_, in a sort of circular motion "round and round,"
+as it were--this will also greatly increase her passion, and soon
+bring her to the climax.
+
+In both these last described ways of courting, the husband should be
+_extra careful not_ to permit the weight of his body to press down
+heavily upon his wife. He should _wholly_ sustain himself on his
+elbows and knees, and permit her to lift herself, at least her hips,
+by the help of her arms around his waist. This is no hardship for the
+husband, if he be a true lover. For is he not strong, and what is his
+strength for but to delight his sweetheart? _A true, devoted, virile
+and manly lover is always at the service of his sweetheart! To delight
+her, is to doubly delight himself_. This is another point of which
+mere animals know nothing. There is nothing in all their nature which
+responds to the like of this, in any way. The whole experience is
+_human_; it is productive of a joy, of a _spiritual elevation_, which
+mere animality knows nothing of--can know nothing of.
+
+Playing thus together, courting each other thus (For, through all
+these actions, a line of _complete mutualness must run_! The husband
+may _seem_ to be specially accommodating himself, and all he does, to
+his wife's whims or necessities; but, even so, this will be more of
+a delight to _him_ than it is to _her_, viewed from the _spiritual
+plane_, on the principle that "it is more blessed to give than to
+receive"--and no truer words than these were ever spoken--while,
+at the same time, the wife, though _seeming_ only to be gratifying
+herself, to be reaching after what she alone desires, yet, as a matter
+of fact, by her very so doing--and the more perfectly, completely, she
+does this, the better--she is gratifying and delighting her husband to
+the utmost possible limit) courting each other thus, the lovers will
+learn to "time" themselves together, perfectly, each knowing just when
+the other is fully ready, by a sort of _spiritual consciousness_, as
+it were, and so a perfect climax can be reached.
+
+Take time, LET LOVE RULE AND DIRECT; BANISH ALL SELFISHNESS; _Let the
+husband keep his head, and_ THE WIFE UTTERLY LOSE HERS, throwing it
+to the winds, to be wholly swept away by the whirlwind of her passion;
+feeling free, delighting, to let it go, go, go, no one cares where!
+Do these things, and married life will be glorious! Of such is the
+kingdom of heaven, for the truly wedded lovers!
+
+This will be "all Greek," or "foolishness" to the selfish and
+materially-minded; but to the truly wise, it will be _life
+immeasurable_. This is a paradox, but it takes a paradox to tell the
+greatest truths!
+
+So much for the act of coitus in the man-superior position, when the
+wife is slower timed than the husband and they adopt this method,
+and the accompanying means for "getting together." Now, if the other
+position is taken, that of the wife semi-superior, in the husband's
+arms, as he lies partly on his back and partly on his left side, etc.,
+here are a few points to be noted to advantage.
+
+Still assuming that the wife is the slower-timed of the two, it is
+entirely possible that when she has "come over" and has gotten into
+position, that she may not yet be fully ready for the union of the
+organs. The very time that it takes for her to get into position, the
+changing of the position of her body, from her back to her right side;
+the temporary cessation of the stroking of the vulva by her husbands's
+[sic] fingers; all these things will have a tendency to retard her
+passion, for the time being, and all this loss ought to be made good,
+if not added to, before the _second_ part of the act is entered upon.
+And, in this position, all this can most happily be brought about, as
+follows:--
+
+Lying in each other's arms, in this _second_ described position, the
+organs naturally _come_ into contact in such a way as to make the
+further excitation of the vulva and clitoris most natural and easy.
+The spreading of the wife's hips, caused by her throwing her left leg
+over her husband's right and drawing up of her left knee, opens the
+vulva wide; and, at the same time, the penis, from the very nature
+of its position, will lie at full length in the opening, thus
+exposed--not entering the vagina, but remaining "without the gate" as
+yet.
+
+By this time the vulva will have become enlarged and elongated, the
+lips full and the clitoris erect, all in a state of tumescence, and
+all covered with the pre-coital fluid; the lips so distended that,
+when thus parted, they form the sides of a labial canal, as it were (a
+delectable, and most delicately smooth-walled channel). Now, in this
+extended condition, which is fully as long as the penis, from end
+to end of its pathway of dalliance, every part covered with the most
+delicately sensitive nerve-filaments, and all of these in an ecstasy
+of keenness to the sense of touch, and in the most perfect of "love's
+strolling way,"--if the penis, as it were, stands up full and strong,
+in such fashion that it touches the vulva at every point, both inner
+and outer labiae, the clitoris and all, for a space of five or six
+inches in length; while the protruded and well-moistened lips of the
+vulva as it were reach out, and clasp themselves at least half way
+around their suitor, laving him with their luscious kisses--in this
+position, the wife being partly above, and so, perfectly free to move
+her "love way" as she will, she can slide the pathway itself a full
+six or more inches, up and down, stroking all the area against the
+penis as she moves; that, again, by its very position, being held
+firmly in contact by its stiffness and stoutness; the glans penis
+throbbing lustily against the clitoris when the two meet at the
+extreme of the wife's up-stroke; she, pausing an instant, just then,
+to more perfectly enjoy the sensation; the penis slipping past the
+now wide open vaginal mouth, which reaches out at every down stroke to
+engulf it--dallying, delaying, coquetting, tantalizing, both man and
+woman; playing the game in almost a swoon of ecstatic delight--under
+such conditions the wife's passion will rush to its fullest
+development, till, when she will, she can drop her vagina upon the
+penis in such a way that the _two will be made one_, in absolute
+perfection, on a single move, and from this to the finish it is but a
+few motions distant.
+
+In some respects this manner of coitus, and this means of "going off
+together" is unsurpassed.
+
+Which leads to the remark that this position is sometimes the best for
+the full completion of the act. It is the easiest of all positions,
+the least fatiguing. And if the wife is tired, or not quite "up to
+grade," she can enjoy an embrace of this sort without fatigue, even
+to the full. For the organs can be united in this position quite
+perfectly, though the penis will not penetrate the vagina to as great
+a length as in the other position. Still, the climax can be perfectly
+reached in this way, and it is one of the best ways to make sure of
+perfect "timing," of "spending" exactly together, which is greatly in
+its favor.
+
+If there is a mis-matching of the organs, the vagina of the wife being
+too short for her husband's penis, this is a most excellent way for
+meeting and overcoming that difficulty.
+
+This naturally leads to another matter, as follows:--It might seem
+to the reader that the different "strokings" of the vulva, with the
+fingers, or the penis, all the contact being outside the vagina, that
+all of these methods of excitation smack of masturbation, and so are
+of doubtful rightness. In reply to which, note the following:
+
+The entire affair of coition, in humanity, has already been shown
+to be something wholly above and beyond mere animality. It is the
+exercise of functions that belong _only to mankind_, and hence is
+not amenable to _any_ merely _animal_ laws or restrictions! It is the
+source of numberless human joys, and _any_ method of engaging in
+the act of mutual delight, that is, of _mutually happifying_, is
+legitimate and _altogether right_. And so, if the parties choose to
+increase their mutual delight, if the husband wishes to arouse
+and intensify his wife's passion by stroking her vulva with his
+saliva-moistened fingers, and _she wishes him to do so_, such act is
+as right and as wholesome as is coitus in the by-some-supposed-to-be
+_only_ way of its exercise. Let this never be doubted.
+
+The fact is, this whole matter of sexual excitation by means of the
+hand, or in other ways than the union of the organs, has received
+a black eye at the hands of would be purists, which it in no way
+deserves. As already noted, the word masturbation has been fastened to
+such acts, and then, any and every form of it has been condemned far
+beyond what the facts warrant, till the minds of the rank and file are
+wholly misled in the premises! When one looks at the situation from
+the point of view which insists that _all_ the sex functions should be
+under the control of the _will_, then light is thrown upon the
+entire subject. Seen in this way, _any_ form of sex stimulation, or
+auto-erotism even (auto-erotism means _self_ sex-excitation) which is
+NOT CARRIED TO EXCESS, is _right_ and _wholesome_! But we have been
+taught the contrary of this for so long that it is difficult for us to
+realize that it is true. _But it is_!
+
+Hence, if it should sometimes happen that the husband should arrive
+at the climax before the wife does, and he could not bring her to
+an orgasm by excitation with his spent penis, it would be _perfectly
+right for him to substitute his fingers, and satisfy her in that way_.
+Of course, this would not be as satisfying to her as it would have
+been could she have met him simultaneously, but it is _far better than
+for her not to be entirely gratified! Many a woman_ SUFFERS ALL NIGHT
+LONG _with unsatisfied desire, her organs congested and tumescent,
+because she has been left_ UNSATISFIED _by a husband who has spent
+before she was ready_, AND THEN LEFT HER! Such cases might be
+_entirely relieved_, if the parties _knew the truth_, and were not too
+_ignorant_, or _prejudiced_, or _ashamed_ to do what should be done to
+make the best of a situation.
+
+Of course, no husband should make a _practice_ of gratifying himself
+fully, and then bringing his wife to the climax with his fingers. Such
+a practice would be _selfish_ and _wrong_. But as an _emergency_ way
+of escape, the method is to be commended.
+
+Of course, as has already been explained, the husband always has the
+advantage, that he can be brought to the orgasm by the insertion of
+the penis into the vagina, _after_ his wife has spent, if she
+arrives first, since her organs detumesce slowly, and their distended
+condition permits such action on his part, for some time after she has
+passed the climax. But not so with the husband. Once spent, his penis
+shrinks to limpness, almost immediately, and in this condition it
+cannot satisfy the wife in the least, much less bring her to an
+orgasm.
+
+Again, if, for any reason, the wife should be unable to meet her
+husband in coitus proper, because of weakness, or slight illness,
+or perhaps some temporary soreness of the parts, it would help the
+situation wonderfully if _she_ would take _his_ penis in _her_ hand
+and "play with it" till he _spent_. He would love her for it, kiss her
+for it, give her his soul for it!
+
+_If a bride and bridegroom knew enough to introduce each other to the
+delights of an orgasm by "spending" each other by external excitation
+of the organs with their hands a few times before they united the
+organs at all, it would be to their lasting well being. This is
+especially true for the bride_. If her lover would take her in his
+arms, even with all her clothes on, as she sat on his lap, in their
+bridal chamber, alone, and stroke her vulva till she "_spent,_" the
+chances are many to one that he would have introduced her to such a
+joy that she would never forget it, all her life. Surely, such method
+is _infinitely superior_ to _raping_ a bride, as is so frequently
+done by the ignorant or goody-good young husband, who "stands upon his
+_rights_!"
+
+Indeed, if a bride to be, who was so innocent or ignorant of her own
+sex possibilities that she had never experienced an orgasm--had never
+"spent"--could be "put wise" before her bridal-night, if she could be
+instructed enough to lead her to engage in some form of auto-erotism,
+bringing herself to an orgasm with her own hand, _just for the sake
+of the experience it would give her, and so that she would have some
+clear idea of what she really wanted, before she went into the arms
+of her lover--if she could do this, in the right mental attitude, it
+would be greatly to her well-being, a worthy and valuable addition to
+her stock of knowledge of herself and of the powers that are latent
+within her. Her alleged loss of innocence by such act would be as
+nothing compared with the wisdom she would gain by the experience.
+When innocence leads to harmful results, it is time it was ended, and
+that knowledge takes its place!_
+
+As for the husband, the chances are not one in a million that he will
+be ignorant of what an orgasm is like before he marries, since all
+healthy young men "spend" at least once a week, automatically, if not
+otherwise!
+
+Let it be said further, that auto-erotism, self-spending, may be
+practiced by both men and women, to their healthful benefit, when
+sexual exercise cannot be secured in any other way. It is only when
+_carried to excess_ that such action is in any way harmful. The only
+danger is, that, the individual being alone and having all the means
+for self-gratification in his or her own hands, so to speak, it is
+quite possible to indulge in the action too freely, which, of
+course, leads to bad results. _But the act itself is not bad._ On the
+contrary, when kept within bounds, it is healthful and wholesome.
+
+There are many unmarried women, maiden ladies, and especially widows,
+who would greatly improve their health if they practiced some form of
+auto-erotism, occasionally. When husbands and wives are forced to
+be much away from each other, it is right for them to occasionally
+satisfy themselves in this way, their souls filled with loving
+thoughts of the absent one the while.
+
+There is any amount of nonsense current about auto-erotism. As a
+matter of fact, all boys masturbate, and many girls also. Some
+authors claim that more than half of all women engage in some form
+of auto-erotism, at some time in their lives, and the estimate is
+probably too low rather than too high. But, unless they carry the act
+to excess, they are guilty of no wrong. Not infrequently, they may
+make the act a means of great good to themselves. _The sex organs are
+alive! They constantly secrete fluids that need to be excreted, as
+all other organs of the body do. They ought to be relieved, as their
+nature requires they should be._ If this cannot be accomplished as
+the most natural way prescribes, it is only right to do the next best
+thing. Only, it should not be carried to excess. Be temperate in all
+things. Gratify yourself, but don't ABUSE yourself. Auto-erotism, or
+masturbation, should never be permitted to become "self-abuse," nor
+is there any need that it should ever do so. It should be
+self-upbuilding, not self degrading. Rightly used it can be thus.
+
+
+
+
+IX
+
+COITUS RESERVATUS
+
+
+This brings us to another item in the matter of sexual exercise on the
+part of the husband and wife, as follows:--
+
+It should be the constant aim and endeavor of both parties to
+continually lift all sex affairs above the plane of animality, mere
+physical gratification, into the realm of _mental_ and _spiritual_
+delight. To this end, let it be said at once that such a condition can
+be reached, in the greatest degree, by the practice of what is known,
+in scientific terms, as "_coitus reservatus,"_ which, translated,
+means going only _part_ of the way in the act, and not carrying it to
+its climax, the orgasm. Described in terms with which the reader is
+now familiar, it means, carrying the act only through the first and
+second stages, the "courting" stage, and the union of the organs, and
+stopping there! This may seem, at first thought, neither right nor
+wise, but, as a matter of fact, it is both, as thousands of most
+happily married people have proved.
+
+Going a bit into details, this act of "reservatus" really unites the
+first two parts of the act into a common whole, making it simply one
+continuous piece of "courting," merely that, and nothing more. It
+is almost entirely a _mental and spiritual love-embrace; and in its
+perfection, it exalts the husband and wife to the topmost heights of
+mental and spiritual enjoyment and expression_.
+
+To engage in this form of coitus, _not nearly_ the effort should be
+made to arouse the sexual passions of either of the parties, as has
+already been described as fitting for complete coitus. _The orgasm
+is not the desideratum in this case, but it is just a delightful
+expression of mutual love. It is a sort of prolonged and all-embracing
+kiss, in which the sex organs are included as well as the lips. They_
+kiss each other, as the _lips_ kiss each other. It is "courting," par
+excellence, without the hampering of clothes or conventionality of any
+kind.
+
+In this act, the lovers simply _drift_, petting each other, chatting
+with each other, visiting, loving, caressing in any one or all of a
+thousand ways. The hands "wander idly over the body," the husband's
+right hand being specially free and in perfect position to stroke his
+wife's back, her hips, her legs, and pet her from top to toe.
+
+As this part of the act continues, it is the most natural thing in the
+world that the sex organs should tumesce, and that there should be
+a flow of both prostatic and pre-coital fluids. That is, the organs
+quietly and naturally make themselves ready for meeting. And when they
+are duly tumescent, are properly enlarged and lubricated, let the wife
+come over into her lover's arms, IN THE SECOND POSITION described, and
+the organs be slipped together easily, delightfully, and then, _let
+them stay so_, fully together, _but do not go on with the third part
+of the act_, the motion of the organs. Just lie still and enjoy the
+embrace, kiss, chat, court, love, dream, enjoy!
+
+This union can be protracted to almost any length, after the lovers
+learn how to do it. Sometimes the organs may be together only a few
+minutes, sometimes for an hour, or even longer. If the parties get
+tired, or sleepy, part the organs, kiss good-night, and go to sleep.
+Although it is not at all uncommon for such lovers, who have fully
+learned this art, to go to sleep thus, in each other's arms, their sex
+organs united; and, in this position, have the organs detumesce, the
+penis grow limp and slip out of the vagina of its own accord, while
+the vagina also grows small and the clitoris subsides. This experience
+is most delightful and if once experienced, once well mastered by the
+husband and wife, it will continually grow in favor, to their mutual
+benefit.
+
+This method is of special service during the "unfree time." If rightly
+used, it will not tend to increase the desire for "spending," but
+it will, on the contrary, allay and satisfy the sexual desires, most
+perfectly. If, while learning how, sometimes the inexperienced should
+"get run away with," and feel that it is better to go on and have the
+climax, all right. But, as time goes on, the practice of carrying the
+act only to the end of the _second_ part, will grow, and in due time
+be well established. Those who have mastered this wholesome and loving
+art will sometimes meet in this way a score of times during a month or
+so, without once coming to the climax. Such meeting can be as often
+as the parties choose, and of as long, or as short duration as they
+elect. It is often an excellent way, to say "good-night;" and if,
+on waking in the morning, there is time before rising for a "little
+court," this slipping the organs together, for "just a minute," is a
+most excellent way to begin the day. The art is worth learning, and
+most people can learn it, if they try, _and are of the right spirit_!
+
+To go back a little: In speaking of mutual masturbation on the part of
+the husband and wife, this method of satisfying the sex nature is of
+great value, sometimes, especially for use during the unfree time. If,
+during these two weeks, the parties get "waked up," and feel the need
+of sex exercise, they can satisfy each other with their hands in a way
+that will be a great relief to each. This is specially true for
+the husband; and a wife, who is enough of a woman to thus meet her
+husband's sex-needs, with her hand, when it is not expedient for him
+to meet her otherwise, is a wife to worship!
+
+Sometimes, during the five days of menstruation, during which time
+the union of the organs is deemed not best, the wife can thus help her
+lover with her hand, to their delight and benefit. _Let love direct
+the way here, and all will be well_.
+
+And here is a curious fact: The hand of the opposite sex will produce
+effects on the genitals of the other which will _not_ be produced in
+any other way. Thus, a man may hold his penis in his own hand for
+a given length of time, longer or shorter, and no result will be
+effected, no secretion of prostate fluid be made, at all. But let his
+wife take his penis in _her_ hand for the same length of time, and the
+flow of prostatic fluid will at once take place. This is true whether
+the penis be erect or detumescent. If the wife will hold her husband's
+limp penis in her hand for but a few minutes, even though the organ
+remains limp, the flow of prostatic fluid will take place! The same
+is true with regard to the husband's putting his hand on his wife's
+vulva. Should _she_ hold her hand there, no pre-coital fluid would be
+secreted. With her husband's hand there, the flow would at once begin.
+
+This is a remarkable physical and psychological phenomenon, and it
+is one especially worthy of note. It is this fact that makes _mutual_
+masturbation far superior to auto-erotism. A husband can thus satisfy
+a wife with his fingers, or a wife her husband with her hand, far
+better than either could bring himself or herself to the climax alone.
+This point is of great import, in considering many of the sex acts of
+husband and wife.
+
+As a rule, let the husband and wife do _whatever their desire prompts
+or suggests, and just as they feel they would_ LIKE _to_. Only this,
+let all be in moderation. _Carry nothing to excess!_
+
+Which suggests the question often asked: How frequently may coitus
+be engaged in? The answer is, just as often as is desired by _both
+parties, but never to the point of weariness or depletion of the
+physical, mental or spiritual body_. Use good sense here as elsewhere.
+We eat when we are hungry, but it is wrong to gorge oneself with food.
+The same rule holds with regard to sex exercise. _Satisfy the calls of
+nature, but_ NEVER, _overdo the matter_. BE TEMPERATE, MANLY, WOMANLY!
+_Don't be afraid or ashamed to do what your desire and your best
+judgment say is right. Use common sense, and you will not go wrong_.
+
+And don't wear each other out, either both together, or the one the
+other. Many men insist on their rights (THEY HAVE NO RIGHTS) and
+greatly debilitate themselves by excess of coition with their wives.
+Per contra, there are some women who wear the lives out of
+their husbands by the excessive calls they make upon them for
+sex-gratification. In the latter case, a man will "go to pieces" much
+faster than a woman who is over-taxed. To satisfy such a woman, a man
+must spend at least once every time his wife calls on him. This draws
+on his vital fluids, at every embrace; but, as has been stated, there
+is no escape of vital fluid from the woman, when she spends, and so
+she can reach and pass the orgasm, time and again, and still not have
+her vitality taxed. Indeed, in some cases, the oftener a woman spends,
+the more animated, robust and healthful she becomes. In case unmatched
+people meet as husband and wife, they should do their best to adjust
+themselves to each other's condition, keeping always in mind the best
+welfare, each of the other.
+
+There are records of women who delight to spend a dozen times in a
+single night. One queen made a law that every man should cohabit
+with his wife at least seven times each night! Of course, she was an
+abnormal woman, though the author once knew a good orthodox deacon who
+would have been delighted to live under the rule of such a law, for
+seven times a night was the limit his wife imposed upon him! He was
+also abnormal.
+
+Luther said twice a week was the rule for coitus, and this is a very
+common practice. No absolute rule can be given, however, except for
+each couple to act as they feel, keeping always within the bounds of
+common sense and true temperance.
+
+There are some men and women so constituted, nervously, or by
+temperament, that they are _obliged_ to rigorously _limit_ their acts
+of coition. Some men cannot engage in the act more than once or twice
+a month and maintain their health. For them, the act draws on their
+vitality so severely that it quite upsets them, in almost every
+case. During the act, they are subjected to nervous shocks, they
+"see stars," and undergo rigors and nervous sweats which are severely
+debilitating. Often, too, they will lie awake all night after
+engaging in the act, and be more or less of a wreck for a day or two
+afterwards.
+
+Some women, too, are of a similar nature of organization, and undergo
+similar experiences. Of course, in all such cases, unusual care should
+be taken never to reach the point of excess.
+
+It is unfortunate if people are married who are ill-matched in this
+regard, especially so if the difference between the two is of a
+pronounced nature, as when the husband or the wife is very amorous and
+virile, while his or her mate is unable to engage in the act, to any
+considerable extent, without suffering therefrom. If such case arises,
+the best should be made of the situation, the more robust party
+accommodating himself or herself to the incompetency or inability of
+the other, and the weaker one doing all that can rightly be done to
+strengthen and develop his or her infirmity. If this is done, _the
+chances are many to one that, as times goes on, the parties will grow
+more and more alike--the strong becoming more docile and the weaker
+one more robust. Take time, love each other, court and be courted, and
+only the best results trill come of it all_.
+
+Now there are some women who are called "anesthetic," that is,
+they have no sex-passion, though the sex parts may be normal. Many
+physicians declare that as high as forty per cent of the women _who
+are reared in modern social life_ are thus lacking. These women engage
+in coitus, though they get no pleasure from the act. They never reach
+the orgasm, and have no sensation of delight from the act; they seldom
+secrete the pre-coital fluid, and hence the union of the organs, or
+their motion, are never easy or pleasurable. They can become mothers,
+and often such bear many children. Such condition is greatly to be
+regretted, and many women suffer greatly from this cause.
+
+It is highly probable, though, that many women who are counted as
+thus lacking are _not, really, so!_ Many women will begin married life
+wholly anesthetic, and, often, sometime will become normal in this
+regard. _This often happens. The probability is that many wives are
+not properly "courted" by their husbands_--THE FIRST PART OF THE ACT
+IS NEGLECTED, _or the husband merely acts on his rights_--cohabits
+like a goat, all in an instant, anxious only to gratify his own
+_lust_; and that, _under such treatment, the wife never gets a fair
+chance to really know her own powers_. Such cases are sad beyond
+telling. For the most part, _they are the result of ignorance on the
+part of the husband, and innocence and wrong teaching--wrong mental
+attitude--on the part of the wife_. HENCE THE NEED OF INSTRUCTIONS TO
+BOTH.
+
+But if almost any woman will get the _right mental attitude_ toward
+sex-meeting, and then can be courted, as has been prescribed in these
+pages, the cases are _rare indeed_ where a woman can be found who is
+_really_ anesthetic. If you, wife, or you, husband, are "up against"
+such a condition, try "courting," as herewith laid down, _in a proper
+mood and spirit, and you will come out all right. There is no doubt of
+it_.
+
+On the contrary, if the man is "impotent" there is small hope of his
+ever coming out of such condition, and the chances are many to one
+that he will never be able to satisfy his wife sexually. He may be
+a "good man," in a way, but he can never be a good _husband_, in the
+full meaning of that word.
+
+On the other hand, if a woman marries for money, or a home, or
+position, or place, or power, or a "meal-ticket"--for _anything but
+love_, she will doubtless be anesthetic _and stay so_. She deserves
+to! She sells herself for a mess of pottage, whoever she is. She may
+be a "good woman," but she can never be a good _wife_.
+
+The question is sometimes asked as to how late in life the sex organs
+can function pleasurably and wholesomely for the parties concerned.
+And here, as elsewhere, the reply can only be that it all depends on
+the individual. But this is true, that, as a rule, the status of the
+individual during the years of active life will persist, even to
+old age, if the sex-functions are used and not abused. There is no
+function of the body, however, which will "go to pieces" quicker, and
+ever after be a wreck, as will the sex organs, if they are not treated
+rightly.
+
+And this works both ways: If too rigorously held in check, _if denied
+all functioning whatever, the parts will atrophy, to the detriment
+of the whole nature, physical, mental, and spiritual_. The body will
+become "dried up," the sex organs shriveled, and a corresponding
+shrinking of the whole man or woman, in all parts of the being, is
+very apt to follow.
+
+On the other hand, an excess of sex-functioning will soon deprive
+the individual of all such power whatsoever. A man will, in his
+comparatively early life, lose the power of erection, or tumescence
+entirely, as a result of excess, either by masturbation or from
+too frequent coitus; and on the part of the woman, many unfortunate
+conditions are liable to arise. However, for reasons that have already
+been stated, a woman who is strongly sexed, and of a pronounced
+amorous nature, can maintain even great excess of sex exercise
+without suffering such ill results as would befall a man who should so
+indulge. That is, an excessively passionate wife can far sooner wear
+the life out of a husband who is only moderately amorous, than can an
+abnormally passionate husband wear out a moderately amorous wife.
+
+But if the sex nature of the husband and wife are well cared for
+during the years of active life, neither too much restrained or too
+profusely exercised, the functioning power of the sex organs will
+remain, even to old age, with all their pleasure-giving powers and
+sensations intact. This is a wonderful physiological fact, which leads
+to a conclusion, as follows:--
+
+This fact of the staying qualities of the power of sex functioning,
+even to old age, is the _supreme_ proof of the fact that sex, in the
+human family, _serves a purpose other than reproduction_!
+
+For, see! A woman loses the power to conceive when she reaches the
+"turn of life," when her menses cease, that is, when she is between
+forty and fifty years of age. And if pleasure in coition serves only
+to induce her to engage in the act for the purpose of increasing the
+probability of her becoming pregnant, if this is the _sole_ purpose
+of desire for sex intercourse, such desire, such pleasure, _ought to
+cease_ at that period of feminine life. _But this is by no means the
+case_! If a wife is a normal woman, sexually, and has neither abused
+her sex nature or had it abused, or neglected, and is a well woman,
+she will enjoy coitus as much after she has passed her three score and
+ten date in her life as she did before! She may not care to engage
+in the act as frequently as in her younger days; but if she is well
+courted by her old lover, all the joys of the former days are still
+hers, to as great a degree as ever. And what is true of her is true
+of her husband, if he is well preserved, as she is, has never abused
+himself or been abused.
+
+This is a reward of virtue, for old lovers, that pays a big premium on
+righteous sex-action in earlier years! More than all, _it is a proof,
+beyond all question, that the purpose of sex in humanity is something
+more than procreation, that there is such a thing as the Art of Love,
+and that it ought to be taught and well learned by every husband and
+wife, in their early married life_.
+
+
+
+
+X
+
+CLEANLINESS
+
+
+It would hardly seem necessary to be said, and yet many experiences of
+husbands and wives prove that it needs to be said, that both parties
+should take great pains to keep their bodies, all parts of them,
+always sweet and clean. Strange as it may seem, many wives are
+exceedingly careless in this respect! It is a matter of common report
+among men, that harlots take more pains to make and keep their bodies,
+and especially their genitals, clean and attractive, than many wives
+do! Surely, this ought not to be so, and yet it often is.
+
+And that it is, is only one more unfortunate result that springs from
+the feeling of "Oh, we are married now." The wife or the husband feels
+that there is no longer any need of wooing each other. All of which
+leads to woe, woe, woe! The wife should keep her whole body so sweet
+and clean that her husband can kiss her from top to toe, if he wants
+to--and the chances are that he will want to, if she so keeps herself!
+In the one case, such a caress is a bit of heaven to a husband, in the
+other it is a bit of hell! It will disgust where it ought to delight.
+And when a wife disgusts her husband, the end of a happy married life
+has come!
+
+The wife should always wash her vulva with soap and warm water before
+retiring, and if reservatus is to be engaged in in the morning, after
+urination, she should thoroughly cleanse the parts before union takes
+place. Let her be _ever_ mindful to keep her "love cup" worthy to meet
+its lover.
+
+And the husband should be equally careful to keep his body sweet and
+clean. He should wash the glans penis thoroughly, with soap and water,
+at least once every day, drawing the foreskin back so as to fully
+cleanse the indenture above the gland, which secretes a substance that
+very soon emits an offensive odor unless removed. Both parties should
+keep their arm pits so that they will not be "smelly," and the feet
+should likewise be kept inodorous.
+
+One of the chief objections to smoking or chewing tobacco is that it
+spoils the breath, and so makes it offensive to the wife, whereas it
+should be most attractive. In a word, both the husband and wife
+cannot be too careful, in all ways, in making and keeping their bodies
+mutually attractive. As has already been said, the sole aim of all
+the sexual experience of a husband and wife should be to raise
+the function more and more _away_ from the plane of _physical_
+gratification and elevate it continually towards the realm of _mental_
+and _spiritual delight_. This is a mission of sex in the human family
+that should be made the most of. It involves the cultivation of the
+Art of Love, which is truly the art of arts, par excellence.
+
+The secret of success in establishing righteous and happy sex
+relations between husband and wife is, on the part of the man, that
+_all his actions should be those of a loving gentleman_. This does
+not mean effeminacy on his part--he must be virile, bold, strong,
+aggressive, positive, _compelling_. And yet, all these manly virtues
+must be expressed in terms of _loving and gentle_ ACTS. This is a
+paradox, but it is true!
+
+On the part of the woman, the chief item on her side is, for her
+to attain a _correct mental and spiritual attitude toward her
+own sex-nature and that of her husband, and toward their common
+expression_. All her training and environment now hinder her from such
+achievement; but if she be a true woman, her nature will reveal the
+truth to her, and if she will trust to that--do what that prompts her
+to do, she will come out all right. It will take time to reach such
+results; but if she will persist, she will succeed. Let her come
+to the realization of the fact that sex in men and women is _not_
+unclean, vulgar, lowdown, sinful; but that it is _clean, pure, lofty_,
+GOD-BORN! Rightly exercised, it leads to the highest well-being of
+both the husband and wife; it brings them to their physical, mental
+and spiritual noblest and best. Let the wife get this view of
+the situation, which is the only true view, and then let her act
+accordingly, and she will have attained. A husband and wife who have
+reached this _modus vivendi_ have established a heaven on earth.
+
+
+
+
+EDITOR'S NOTE
+
+
+Dr. Long's description of "Free Time" should be thoroughly understood
+by the readers of this book. Since it is practically impossible to
+conduct exact scientific tests under strict control (the reason for
+which can be readily understood) there is much difference of opinion
+among physicians and sexologists on this subject.
+
+Some say there is no such thing as "Free Time." Others agree with Dr.
+Long that there is a period of "Free Time." Still a third group
+take the conservative viewpoint that further proof is necessary. The
+publishers offer this explanation as a necessary comment.
+
+
+
+
+XI
+
+PREGNANCY
+
+
+And now just a few words about having children, and this treatise will
+end.
+
+As has already been said, every true husband and wife who are well
+enough and strong enough, and who are reasonably furnished with this
+world's goods, ought to have and rear at least two children. The world
+needs at least so many, even if all children lived and grew up, to
+keep up the constant number of people on the earth. But, far more than
+this, the husband and wife need children _to make a home complete, and
+a complete home is the supreme attainment of human life!_
+
+This does not mean that people should not marry unless they can have
+children; there are many women who should never even try to become
+mothers. But these should not be deprived of all sexual joys for this
+reason. On the contrary, it is for their best good, in most cases,
+that they should marry and so live normal sex lives, in all respects
+except parenthood.
+
+But, for the most part, husbands and wives _can_ have children, if
+they so desire, _and they_ SHOULD _so desire_.
+
+And, so desiring, the question is, How can they best fulfil such
+desire?
+
+As a matter of fact, there is very little that is really known about
+the begetting of children, and the securing of the best results from
+such action. The laws of human heredity are, as yet, for the most
+part, unknown. But common sense would seem to indicate a few things
+that must be best in the premises.
+
+Thus, it would seem to be for the best that the husband and wife
+should be in good physical condition when a child is begotten. More
+than this, it would seem right that the act of begetting should be a
+_deliberate_, and not a mere _chance_ begetting. Hence, in general,
+it is well for the husband and wife to _agree_ upon a time for the
+begetting of a child, and _deliberately accomplish a sex-meeting
+for such purpose_. Although, one instinctively feels that such a
+deliberate meeting might be too matter of fact--too cold and formal,
+lacking in warm blood and genuine emotion; still, the probabilities
+are that even this could be overcome, if kept in mind and "provided
+for."
+
+Referring to the things that have already been said, of course an
+embrace which is to result in pregnancy should be one of the most
+perfect that can possibly be experienced, one in which, in an ecstasy
+of love's delight, husband and wife merge their souls and bodies into
+a perfect oneness--it would seem that from such a meeting the best,
+and only the best results could come.
+
+And so if the husband and wife will agree that from a given time
+on, they will cease to have a care to prevent conception; and then,
+sometime _immediately following the fifth day after the beginning of
+the menstrual flow_, they will naturally meet in a _perfect embrace_,
+the probabilities are that they will have done the best possible to
+secure the highest attainable results from the act of begetting a
+child.
+
+As a rule, the proper time for such begetting is between the _fifth_
+and the _tenth_ day after the beginning of the menstrual flow. It is
+sometimes best, however, to make the meeting earlier than this, even
+before the flow has ceased. Some women will conceive then who cannot
+do so at any other time. And so, if a wife should be unable to
+conceive between the fifth and the tenth day, as noted, let an earlier
+date be tried. If this should fail, consult a reliable physician.
+
+It ought to be said, too, that putting off having children _too long_,
+is very apt to result in the sterility of the wife. Many a young wife,
+who has really wanted to have children _sometime_, and who would be
+greatly grieved if she thought she could _not_ bear a child, has kept
+putting it off, and has done this _so often_, and for _so long_, that,
+when the "convenient day" does come, she finds that she has "sinned
+away her day of grace."
+
+Speaking generally, the first baby should be born not much later than
+two years after marriage. There are, of course, exceptions to this,
+but it is a good rule to go by.
+
+_Have your children when you are young_! This is common sense,
+it comes out best in the long run, and is the best thing to do,
+ninety-nine times in a hundred. Then, you are nearer the age of your
+children as they grow up than if you waited till you were in the late
+thirties before the children came. If your son or daughter is only
+twenty-some years younger than you are, you can be "kids" with them.
+If you are forty years old when they are born, you will always be "old
+folks" to them. Have the babies when you are young. It is far better
+so.
+
+If no children come from the meeting of husband and wife consult
+a good doctor. But, in such event, if neither of the parties is to
+blame--or even otherwise, make the best of the situation, love each
+other, and make the most of wedded life with what is left.
+
+Above all, with children or without (and a thousand times better with)
+make a home that is a home. That is what sex in the human family, what
+married life is for--to make a home. Nearly all that makes a home
+is centered around sex. No two normal _men_ can make a home! No two
+normal _women_ can make a home! _It takes a man and a woman to make
+a home. It takes father, mother and children to make the most perfect
+home. Make up your minds to have a most perfect home, and do your
+utmost to reach that goal_!
+
+The query often arises in the minds of conscientious husbands and
+wives whether or not it is right to engage in coitus during pregnancy.
+On this point authorities differ, though most of them hold against
+such practice. The reasons they give for such adverse decision are all
+based on the same old infernal lie, namely, that, sexually, man is
+a mere animal, and so is subject to the laws and practices of mere
+animality. This is the worst outrage ever perfected by a false
+philosophy, which is heralded as the will of God. Out on it,
+altogether!
+
+The simple truth, is that, if the husband and wife have _mastered the
+Art of Love_, so that they _mutually desire each other, and both long
+for sex exercise during the gestation period_, it is _perfectly right_
+and WISE for them to satisfy their _natural_ COMMON wishes.
+
+Of course, in such exercise, the utmost care should be taken not
+to press too hard upon the pelvic region of the woman, and in this
+regard, the word of caution needs to be heeded, as much by the
+prospective mother as by her mate. For, in the intensity of an
+orgasm, she may be tempted to crowd her body too violently against
+her husband, and so possible harm might result. Especially if the
+husband-superior position is taken during the act, he should be doubly
+careful not to permit the weight of his body to rest upon the enlarged
+part of the wife's anatomy, not in the least.
+
+Indeed, the safest position for coitus, during pregnancy is, the woman
+on her back, and the man with his hips on the bed below hers, so that
+there is no possibility of pressure on her abdomen, which is perfectly
+free, in this position. In this position, the act may be engaged in,
+during pregnancy, as often as mutually desired, to the benefit of both
+parties.
+
+Many pregnant women are more than usually passionate during the period
+of gestation. This is especially the case when the wife is happy in
+her condition, when she rejoices with exceeding great joy that she is
+on the way to experience the divine crown of wifehood--maternity! When
+such a woman desires her husband in love's embrace, it is cruel to
+deprive her of her longed-for delight.
+
+Again, a wife, unpregnant, and when she rightfully wishes to remain
+so, may be somewhat fearful of becoming pregnant when she meets
+her husband, and so hesitate to give her passion full play, thereby
+missing the utmost delights of an embrace--but if she be pregnant,
+and so has no fear on this score, she can give herself up to utter
+abandonment to her impulses.
+
+On this point, the final word is, use _common sense_, in a _spirit of
+absolute_ MUTUALITY.
+
+It goes without saying that it would be wicked, not to say a crime,
+for a husband to _compel_ his wife to engage in coitus during
+pregnancy, against her will. On the other hand, many a wife has first
+experienced an orgasm when meeting her husband during pregnancy. The
+reason for this is that her fear of becoming pregnant is not then
+present--a condition which has before kept her from the climax.
+
+It is further true that many a wife will greatly relieve and delight
+her husband if, on occasion, and as both may desire, she will relieve
+him with her hand; or sometimes, that they engage in mutual relief by
+this means during pregnancy.
+
+
+
+
+XII
+
+CONCLUSION
+
+
+In closing this volume, the author wishes to say, as in opening, that
+no apology is offered for what has been written or said herewith. All
+has been set down in love, by a lover, for the sake of lovers yet to
+be, _in the hope of helping them on towards a divine consummation_.
+
+As a final direction _Master the Art of Love_, which is _the divinest
+art in all the world; then study, and do your best to master the
+Science of Procreation_. It is these two, the Art of Love and the
+Science of Procreation, that, together, make married life a success.
+Without these, or, surely, without the first, there can be no such
+thing as true marriage. Hence, this is the _first_ to learn, to
+master. It is worthy of the most careful study, the most faithful
+experiment.
+
+It is right for people who never can have children to marry, and to
+share with each other mutual sex delights. It is far better for
+a husband and wife, having learned the Art of Love, to have
+children--and a home.
+
+Thrice happy are the married lovers who live in the spirit of this
+sentiment, exalted to the highest spiritual plane; and if, out of such
+love exchanges children are begotten and born, and a perfect home is
+established, then married life is worth living. God has joined such
+together and nothing can put them asunder.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+This volume is not something to be read once, and then put aside and
+forgotten. It should be studied, experimented upon, read again and
+again, especially by those who have difficulties in married life to
+overcome. And for _all_ young married people, it should be a sort
+of Guide to Happiness that should be frequently consulted and its
+directions "tried out" and followed to the limit.
+
+The fact is that, in true marriage, neither the husband nor the wife
+can be selfishly supreme. If selfishness asserts itself, on the part
+of either husband or wife, hell is sure to follow. There can be no
+true marriage under such circumstances, because there is no supremacy
+in true love, and it is only true love that can make an abiding true
+marriage. In true marriage, such as both God and Nature design should
+be, there is perfect comradery, equals walking with equals, with the
+principle of love and mutual helpfulness shared alike by both. Let
+no reader of this book forget these primal facts, or fail to act in
+accordance with them! For of such is the Kingdom of Heaven!
+
+
+
+
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+How to keep a husband's love
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+Who may and may not marry
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+Advice to girls approaching womanhood
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+Illegitimate motherhood
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+Advice to parents of unfortunate girls
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+What is love?
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+Late marriages and chastity in men
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+Harmful advice to young women
+
+Birth control
+
+Regarding flirtation
+
+What a girl has a right to demand of her future husband
+
+Advice to the married or those about to be
+
+Importance of first few weeks of married life
+
+Infatuation mistaken for love
+
+Woman as man's chattel
+
+Advice to the wife of the flirtatious man
+
+The place love occupies in woman's life
+
+Abortion and miscarriage
+
+Three venereal diseases
+
+Measures for prevention after sexual relations
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+Marital relations and frigid woman
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+The girl who lost her virginity
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+Treatment of sterility
+
+Justifiable innocent deception
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+
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+which contains a reprint of a famous letter by Benjamin Franklin,
+known as "Advice to a Young Man on Choosing a Mistress." Few people
+are aware that this letter exists. The United States Government is
+said to have paid $30,000 for the original. This Secret Franklin
+Letter, in the estimation of many people, is alone worth the price of
+the entire book.
+
+#Partial Table of Contents#
+
+Misalliances and unhappy marriages: an important but never referred to
+cause
+
+Sexual abstinence and nervousness
+
+Coitus interruptus as cause of nervous disease
+
+Sexual hypochondria and morbid scrupulousness
+
+Double standard of morality
+
+Continence in the two sexes
+
+Is it really impossible to make prostitution harmless?
+
+A problem in sexual ethics
+
+Eugenics, sexual sin, ignorance, and superstition
+
+Is Platonic love normal?
+
+Female sex instinct in relation to morality
+
+Regulation of offspring and sexual morality
+
+Coitus and nightmares
+
+Distinctions between male and female sex instinct
+
+Death during sexual intercourse
+
+False accusation of rape
+
+Strikes against marriage in ancient times
+
+Remarkable experiment in venereal prophylaxis
+
+Effects of masturbation; a genuine human document
+
+A remarkable letter by Benjamin Franklin
+
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+thoughtful men and women who desire to know the real truths and the
+intimate details about sex and love.
+
+Partial Table of Contents
+
+Love and civilization
+
+Sex worship
+
+Male internal sex organs
+
+Female internal sex organs
+
+Male external genitals
+
+Female external genitals
+
+Function of testicles, spermatogenesis, function of seminal vesicles,
+prostate, urethral glands, semen, erection, ejaculation, nervous
+control, organism
+
+Function of ovaries, ovum, menstruation, uterus, female ejaculation,
+function of vagina, of clitoris, course of the sexual act
+
+Quality of pleasure, symptoms of pleasure, orgasm, symptoms of
+after-lust, intensity of libido, duration of copulation
+
+Love and passion, development of individual love, characteristic of
+the ideal woman's love
+
+Emotions of eros and libido in men and in women, difference in the two
+sexes, emotion of jealousy, woman's former love-affairs
+
+Sexual desires in the old, in infants, causes of early masturbation
+
+Impotence in male, satyriasis, nymphomania, continence and impotence,
+excesses in copulation, practice of withdrawal, four types of
+impotencies in males, female impotence, frigidity, sterility
+
+Engagement rules, wedding day, positions of conjugation, sequels of
+great frequency, pain of defloration, conjugation during menstruation,
+conjugation during pregnancy, preparation of the woman's muliebra
+in partial frigidity, offspring and sexual life, sterile time for
+conjugation
+
+History of marriage, promiscuity, consanguineous family, female
+chastity, adultery, female morality and reason
+
+Prostitution, clandestine vice, injury of abstinence, ethics of
+evolution
+
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+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living, by H.W. Long
+
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