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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1311 ***
+
+If
+
+By Lord Dunsany
+
+[Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron]
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONAE
+
+     JOHN BEAL
+     MARY BEAL
+     LIZA
+     ALI
+     BERT, BILL: two railway porters
+     THE MAN IN THE CORNER
+     MIRALDA CLEMENT
+     HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN
+     DAOUD
+     ARCHIE BEAL
+     BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers
+     BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass
+     ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers
+     OMAR, a singer
+     ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz
+     THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS
+
+     Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc.
+
+
+
+
+IF
+
+
+
+
+ACT I
+
+SCENE 1
+
+A small railway station near London.
+Time: Ten years ago.
+
+BERT
+
+'Ow goes it, Bill?
+
+BILL
+
+Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes?
+
+BERT
+
+I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it?
+
+BILL
+
+Bloody.
+
+BERT
+
+Why? What's wrong?
+
+BILL
+
+Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong.
+
+BERT
+
+What's up then?
+
+BILL
+
+Nothing ain't right.
+
+BERT
+
+Why, wot's the worry?
+
+BILL
+
+Wot's the worry? They don't give you
+better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks
+they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say
+wot they likes, like.
+
+BERT
+
+Why? You been on the carpet, Bill?
+
+BILL
+
+Ain't I! Proper.
+
+
+BERT
+
+Why, wot about, Bill?
+
+BILL
+
+Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let
+a lidy get into a train. That's wot about.
+Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the
+train was moving. Thought it was dangerous.
+Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose.
+
+BERT
+
+Wot? The other day?
+
+BILL
+
+Yes.
+
+BERT
+
+Tuesday?
+
+BILL
+
+Yes.
+
+BERT
+
+Why. The one that dropped her bag?
+
+BILL
+
+Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company.
+They writes back she shouldn't 'av
+got in. She writes back she should. Then
+they gets on to me. Any more of it and
+I'll...
+
+BERT
+
+I wouldn't, Bill; don't you.
+
+BILL
+
+I will.
+
+BERT
+
+Don't you, Bill. You've got your family
+to consider.
+
+BILL
+
+Well, anyway, I won't let any more of
+them passengers go jumping into trains any
+more, not when they're moving, I won't.
+When the train gets in, doors shut. That's
+the rule. And they'll 'ave to abide by it.
+
+BERT
+
+Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if...
+
+BILL
+
+I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me
+on the mat again and talk all that stuff to
+me. No, if someone 'as to suffer...
+'Ere she is.
+
+[Noise of approaching train heard.]
+
+BERT
+
+Ay, that's her.
+
+BILL
+
+And shut goes the door.
+
+[Enter JOHN BEAL.]
+
+BERT
+
+Wait a moment, Bill.
+
+BILL
+
+Not if he's... Not if he was ever so.
+
+JOHN [preparing to pass]
+
+Good morning....
+
+BILL
+
+Can't come through. Too late.
+
+JOHN
+
+Too late? Why, the train's only just in.
+
+BILL
+
+Don't care. It's the rule.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, nonsense. [He carries on.]
+
+BILL
+
+It's too late. I tell you you can't come.
+
+JOHN
+
+But that's absurd. I want to catch my
+train.
+
+BILL
+
+It's too late.
+
+BERT
+
+Let him go, Bill.
+
+BILL
+
+I'm blowed if I let him go.
+
+JOHN
+
+I want to catch my train.
+
+[JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed
+back by the face. JOHN advances towards
+BILL looking like fighting. The train has
+gone.]
+
+BILL
+
+Only doing my duty.
+
+[JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding
+it isn't good enough. He shrugs his
+shoulders, turns round and goes away.]
+
+JOHN
+
+I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even
+with you one of these days, you..... and
+some way you won't expect.
+
+Curtain
+
+SCENE 2
+
+Yesterday evening.
+
+[Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in
+their suburban home.]
+
+JOHN
+
+I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to
+plant an acacia?
+
+MARY
+
+An acacia, what's that, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, it's one of those trees that they have.
+
+MARY
+
+But why, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, you see the house is called The Acacias,
+and it seems rather silly not to have at
+least one.
+
+MARY
+
+O, I don't think that matters. Lots of
+places are called lots of things. Everyone
+does.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, but it might help the postman.
+
+MARY
+
+O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't
+know an acacia if he saw it any more than I
+should.
+
+JOHN
+
+Quite right, Mary, you're always right.
+What a clever head you've got!
+
+MARY
+
+Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if
+you like. I'll ask about it at the grocer's.
+
+JOHN
+
+You can't get one there.
+
+MARY
+
+No, but he's sure to know where it can be
+got.
+
+JOHN
+
+Where do they grow, Mary?
+
+MARY
+
+I don't know, John; but I am sure they do,
+somewhere.
+
+JOHN
+
+Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish
+I could have gone abroad for a week or so to
+places like where acacias grow naturally.
+
+MARY
+
+O, would you really, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+No, not really. But I just think of it
+sometimes.
+
+MARY
+
+Where would you have gone?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, I don't know. The East or some such
+place. I've often heard people speak of it,
+and somehow it seemed so...
+
+MARY
+
+The East, John? Not the East. I don't
+think the East somehow is quite respectable.
+
+JOHN
+
+O well, it's all right, I never went, and
+never shall go now. It doesn't matter.
+
+MARY [the photographs catching her eye]
+
+O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dreadful
+thing happened.
+
+JOHN
+
+What, Mary?
+
+MARY
+
+Well, Liza was dusting the photographs,
+and when she came to Jane's she says she
+hadn't really begun to dust it, only looked at
+it, and it fell down, and that bit of glass is
+broken right out of it.
+
+JOHN
+
+Ask her not to look at it so hard another
+time.
+
+MARY
+
+O, what do you mean, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, that's how she broke it; she said so,
+and as I know you believe in Liza...
+
+MARY
+
+Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+No, of course not. But she mustn't look
+so hard another time.
+
+MARY
+
+And it's poor little Jane's photograph.
+She will feel it so.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, that's all right, we'll get it mended.
+
+MARY
+
+Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened.
+
+JOHN
+
+We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy
+about it she can have Alice's frame. Alice
+is too young to notice it.
+
+MARY
+
+She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, George, then.
+
+MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully]
+
+Well, perhaps George might give up his
+frame.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make
+her do it now?
+
+MARY
+
+Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday.
+She shall do it to-morrow by the time you get
+back from the office.
+
+JOHN
+
+All right. It might have been worse.
+
+MARY
+
+It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened.
+
+JOHN
+
+It might have been worse. It might have
+been Aunt Martha.
+
+MARY
+
+I'd sooner it had been her than poor little
+Jane.
+
+JOHN
+
+If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph
+she'd have walked in next day and seen it for
+certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd
+have been trouble.
+
+MARY
+
+But, John, how could she have known?
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't know, but she would have; it's a
+kind of devilish sense she has.
+
+MARY
+
+John!
+
+JOHN
+
+What's the matter?
+
+MARY
+
+John! What a dreadful word you used.
+And on a Sunday too! Really!
+
+JOHN
+
+O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow.
+I'm very sorry.
+
+[Enter LIZA.]
+
+LIZA
+
+There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which
+isn't, properly speaking, a gentleman at all.
+Not what I should call one, that is, like.
+
+MARY
+
+Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza!
+Whatever do you mean?
+
+LIZA
+
+He's black.
+
+MARY
+
+Black?
+
+JOHN [reassuring]
+
+O... yes, that would be Ali. A queer
+old customer, Mary; perfectly harmless. Our
+firm gets hundreds of carpets through him;
+and then one day...
+
+MARY
+
+But what is he doing here, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, one day he turned up in London;
+broke, he said; and wanted the firm to give
+him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for
+giving him ten shillings. But I said "here's
+a man that's helped us in making thousands
+of pounds. Let's give him fifty."
+
+MARY
+
+Fifty pounds!
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair.
+Ten shillings would have been an insult to
+the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such.
+You don't know what he'd have done.
+
+MARY
+
+Well, he doesn't want more?
+
+JOHN
+
+No, I expect he's come to thank me. He
+seemed pretty keen on getting some cash.
+Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was
+doing in London. Never can tell with these
+fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it.
+
+MARY
+
+How did he trace you here?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, got the address at the office. Briggs
+and Cater won't let theirs be known. Not
+got such a smart little house, I expect.
+
+MARY
+
+I don't like letting people in that you don't
+know where they come from.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, he comes from the East.
+
+MARY
+
+Yes, I--I know. But the East doesn't seem
+quite to count, somehow, as the proper sort of
+place to come from, does it, dear?
+
+JOHN
+
+No.
+
+MARY
+
+It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some
+place you can put your finger on.
+
+JOHN
+
+Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's
+any harm in him.
+
+MARY
+
+Well, just for once. But we can't make a
+practice of it. And you don't want to be
+thinking of business on a Sunday, your only
+day off.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, it isn't business, you know. He only
+wants to say thank you.
+
+MARY
+
+I hope he won't say it in some queer
+Eastern way. You don't know what these
+people....
+
+JOHN
+
+O, no. Show him up, Liza.
+
+LIZA
+
+As you like, mum.
+[Exit.]
+
+MARY
+
+And you gave him fifty pounds?
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose
+that's what he got. Cater paid him.
+
+MARY
+
+It seems a lot of money. But I think, as
+the man is actually coming up the stairs,
+I'm glad he's got something to be grateful
+for.
+
+[Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.]
+
+ALI
+
+Protector of the Just.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, er--yes. Good evening.
+
+ALI
+
+My soul was parched and you bathed it
+in rivers of gold.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, ah, yes.
+
+ALI
+
+Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal
+shall be magnified and called blessed.
+
+JOHN
+
+Ha, yes. Very good of you.
+
+ALI [advancing, handing trinket]
+
+Protector of the Just, my offering.
+
+JOHN
+
+Your offering?
+
+ALI
+
+Hush. It is beyond price. I am not
+bidden to sell it. I was in my extremity, but
+I was not bidden to sell it. It is a token of
+gratitude, a gift, as it came to me.
+
+JOHN
+
+As it came to you?
+
+
+ALI
+
+Yes, it was given me.
+
+JOHN
+
+I see. Then you had given somebody what
+you call rivers of gold?
+
+ALI
+
+Not gold; it was in Sahara.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, and what do you give in the Sahara
+instead of gold?
+
+ALI
+
+Water.
+
+JOHN
+
+I see. You got it for a glass of water, like.
+
+ALI
+
+Even so.
+
+JOHN
+
+And--and what happened?
+
+MARY
+
+I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear.
+It's a nice little thing, but [to ALI], but you
+think a lot of it, don't you?
+
+ALI
+
+Even so.
+
+JOHN
+
+But look here, what does it do?
+
+ALI
+
+Much.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, what?
+
+ALI
+
+He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand,
+at night, and wishes, saying "At a certain
+hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will
+go back eight, ten, even twelve years if he
+will, into the past, and do a thing again, or
+act otherwise than he did. The day passes;
+the ten years are accomplished once again; he
+is here once more; but he is what he might
+have become had he done that one thing
+otherwise.
+
+MARY
+
+John!
+
+JOHN
+
+I--I don't understand.
+
+ALI
+
+To-night you wish. All to-morrow you
+live the last ten years; a new way, master, a
+new way, how you please. To-morrow night
+you are here, what those years have made you.
+
+JOHN
+
+By Jove!
+
+MARY
+
+Have nothing to do with it, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But,
+do you mean one could go back ten years?
+
+
+ALI
+
+Even so.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word
+for it. But look here, you can't live ten years
+in a day, you know.
+
+ALI
+
+My master has power over time.
+
+MARY
+
+John, don't have anything to do with him.
+
+JOHN
+
+All right, Mary. But who is your master?
+
+ALI
+
+He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in
+the greenest mountains. The years are his
+dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard
+it safely, for his power is in this more than
+in all the peaks of his native hills. See what
+I give you, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, really, it's very good of you.
+
+MARY
+
+Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much
+obliged for your kind offer, which we are so
+sorry we can't avail ourselves of.
+
+JOHN
+
+One moment, Mary. Do you mean that
+I can go back ten years, and live till--till now
+again, and only be away a day?
+
+ALI
+
+Start early and you will be here before
+midnight.
+
+JOHN
+
+Would eight o'clock do!
+
+ALI
+
+You could be back by eleven that evening.
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't quite see how ten years could go
+in a single day.
+
+ALI
+
+They will go as dreams go.
+
+JOHN
+
+Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't
+it?
+
+ALI
+
+Time is the slave of my master
+
+MARY
+
+John!
+
+JOHN
+
+All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm
+only trying to see what he'll say.
+
+MARY
+
+All right, John, only...
+
+ALI
+
+Is there no step that you would wish
+untrodden, nor stride that you would make
+where once you faltered?
+
+JOHN
+
+I say, why don't you use it yourself?
+
+ALI
+
+I? I am afraid of the past. But you
+Engleesh, and the great firm of Briggs, Cater,
+and Beal; you are afraid of nothing.
+
+JOHN
+
+Ha, ha. Well--I wouldn't go quite as far
+as that, but--well, give me the crystal.
+
+MARY
+
+Don't take it, John! Don't take it.
+
+JOHN
+
+Why, Mary? It won't hurt me.
+
+MARY
+
+If it can do all that--if it can do all that...
+
+JOHN
+
+Well?
+
+MARY
+
+Why, you might never have met me.
+
+JOHN
+
+Never have met you? I never thought of
+that.
+
+MARY
+
+Leave the past alone, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I
+want to hear about it, it's so odd, it's so
+what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I
+ever----- [To ALI.] You mean if I work
+hard for ten years, which will only be all
+to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank
+of England to-morrow night.
+
+ALI
+
+Even so.
+
+MARY
+
+O, don't do it, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+But you said--I'll be back here before
+midnight to-morrow.
+
+ALI
+
+It is so.
+
+JOHN
+
+But the Governor of the Bank of England
+would live in the City, and he'd have a much
+bigger house anyway. He wouldn't live in
+Lewisham.
+
+ALI
+
+The crystal will bring you to this house
+when the hour is accomplished, even
+tomorrow night. If you be the great banker
+you will perhaps come to chastise one of your
+slaves who will dwell in this house. If you
+be head of Briggs and Cater you will come to
+give an edict to one of your firm. Perchance
+this street will be yours and you will come to
+show your power unto it. But you will come.
+
+JOHN
+
+And if the house is not mine?
+
+MARY
+
+John! John! Don't.
+
+ALI
+
+Still you will come.
+
+JOHN
+
+Shall I remember?
+
+ALI
+
+No.
+
+JOHN
+
+If I want to do anything different to what
+I did, how shall I remember when I get back
+there?
+
+MARY
+
+Don't. Don't do anything different, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+All right.
+
+ALI
+
+Choose just before the hour of the step
+you desire to change. Memory lingers a little
+at first, and fades away slowly.
+
+JOHN
+
+Five minutes?
+
+ALI
+
+Even ten.
+
+JOHN
+
+Then I can change one thing. After that I
+forget.
+
+ALI
+
+Even so. One thing. And the rest follows.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, it's very good of you to make me this
+nice present, I'm sure.
+
+ALI
+
+Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart
+impels. So shall it come back one day to the
+hills that are brighter than grass, made richer
+by the gratitude of many men. And my
+master shall smile thereat and the vale shall
+be glad.
+
+JOHN
+
+It's very good of you, I'm sure.
+
+MARY
+
+I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering
+with what's gone.
+
+ALI
+
+My master's power is in your hands.
+Farewell.
+
+[Exit.]
+
+JOHN
+
+I say, he's gone.
+
+MARY
+
+O, he's a dreadful man.
+
+JOHN
+
+I never really meant to take it.
+
+MARY
+
+O, John, I wish you hadn't
+
+JOHN
+
+Why? I'm not going to use it.
+
+MARY
+
+Not going to use it, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+No, no. Not if you don't want me to.
+
+MARY
+
+O, I'm so glad.
+
+JOHN
+
+And besides, I don't want things different.
+I've got fond of this little house. And Briggs
+is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit
+of an ass, but there's no harm in him. In
+fact, I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even
+change Aunt Martha now.
+
+[Points at frowning framed photograph
+centrally hung.]
+
+You remember when she first came and
+you said "Where shall we hang her?" I said
+the cellar. You said we couldn't. So she had
+to go there. But I wouldn't change her now.
+I suppose there are old watch-dogs like her in
+every family. I wouldn't change anything.
+
+MARY
+
+O, John, wouldn't you really?
+
+JOHN
+
+No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I
+wouldn't even change Aunt Martha.
+
+MARY
+
+I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened.
+I couldn't bear to tamper with the past.
+You don't know what it is, it's what's gone.
+But if it really isn't gone at all, if it can be dug
+up like that, why you don't know what
+mightn't happen! I don't mind the future,
+but if the past can come back like that....
+O, don't, don't, John. Don't think of it.
+It isn't canny. There's the children, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little
+ornament. I won't use it. And I tell you
+I'm content. [Happily] It's no use to me.
+
+MARY
+
+I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you
+really? Is there nothing that you'd have had
+different? I sometimes thought you'd rather
+that Jane had been a boy.
+
+JOHN
+
+Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the
+time, but Arthur's good enough for me.
+
+MARY
+
+I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever
+regret at all?
+
+JOHN
+
+Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you
+regret, Mary?
+
+MARY
+
+Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would
+have been better green, but you would have
+it red.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I
+regret.
+
+MARY
+
+I don't suppose there's many men can say
+that.
+
+JOHN
+
+No, I don't suppose they can. They're
+not all married to you. I don't suppose
+many of them can.
+
+[MARY smiles.]
+
+MARY
+
+I should think that very few could say
+that they regretted nothing... very few
+in the whole world.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, I won't say nothing.
+
+MARY
+
+What is it you regret, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, there is one thing.
+
+MARY
+
+And what is that?
+
+JOHN
+
+One thing has rankled a bit.
+
+MARY
+
+Yes, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth
+mentioning. But it rankled for years.
+
+MARY
+
+What was it, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, it seems silly to mention it. It was
+nothing.
+
+MARY
+
+But what?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, well, if you want to know, it was once
+when I missed a train. I don't mind missing
+a train, but it was the way the porter pushed
+me out of the way. He pushed me by the
+face. I couldn't hit back, because, well, you
+know what lawyers make of it; I might have
+been ruined. So it just rankled. It was years
+ago before we married.
+
+MARY
+
+Pushed you by the face. Good gracious!
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in
+spite of him. I sometimes think of it still.
+Silly of me, isn't it?
+
+MARY
+
+What a brute of a man.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty.
+But it rankled.
+
+MARY
+
+He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd
+no right to touch you!
+
+JOHN
+
+O, well, never mind.
+
+MARY
+
+I should like to have been there...
+I'd have...
+
+JOHN
+
+O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd
+like to have caught it in sp...
+[An idea seizes him.]
+
+MARY
+
+What is it?
+
+JOHN
+
+Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing
+that can be helped.
+
+MARY
+
+Can be helped, John? Whatever do you
+mean?
+
+JOHN
+
+I mean he'd no right to stop me catching
+that train. I've got the crystal, and I'll
+catch it yet!
+
+MARY
+
+O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't
+do.
+
+JOHN
+
+No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past.
+And I won't. I'm too content, Mary. But
+this can't alter it. This is nothing.
+
+MARY
+
+What were you going to catch the train
+for, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+For London. I wasn't at the office then.
+It was a business appointment. There was a
+man who had promised to get me a job, and
+I was going up to...
+
+MARY
+
+John, it may alter your whole life!
+
+JOHN
+
+Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never
+turned up. I got a letter from him apologising
+to me before I posted mine to him. It
+turned out he never meant to help me, mere
+meaningless affabilities. He never came to
+London that day at all. I should have taken
+the next train back. That can't affect the
+future.
+
+MARY
+
+N-no, John. Still, I don't like it.
+
+JOHN
+
+What difference could it make?
+
+MARY
+
+N-n-no.
+
+JOHN
+
+Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's
+wedding. I take it one has to go to one's
+brother's wedding. It would take a pretty
+big change to alter that. And. you were her
+bridesmaid. We were bound to meet. And
+having once met, well, there you are. If we'd
+met by chance, in a train, or anything like
+that, well, then I admit some little change
+might alter it. But when we met at ARCHIE's
+wedding and you were her bridesmaid, why,
+Mary, it's a cert. Besides, I believe in
+predestination. It was our fate; we couldn't
+have missed it.
+
+MARY
+
+No, I suppose not; still..
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, what?
+
+MARY
+
+I don't like it.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that
+infernal train. Just think of it, annoyed on
+and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen.
+
+MARY
+
+I'd rather you didn't, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+But why?
+
+MARY
+
+O, John, suppose there's a railway
+accident? You might be killed, and we should
+never meet.
+
+JOHN
+
+There wasn't.
+
+MARY
+
+There wasn't, John? What do you mean?
+
+JOHN
+
+There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen.
+It got safely to London just ten years ago.
+
+MARY
+
+Why, nor there was.
+
+JOHN
+
+You see how groundless your fears are.
+I shall catch that train, and all the rest will
+happen the same as before. Just think
+Mary, all those old days again. I wish I
+could take you with me. But you soon will
+be. But just think of the old days coming
+back again. Hampton Court again and Kew,
+and Richmond Park again with all the May.
+And that bun you bought, and the corked
+ginger-beer, and those birds singing and the
+'bus past Isleworth. O, Mary, you wouldn't
+grudge me that?
+
+MARY
+
+Well, well then all right, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+And you will remember there wasn't an
+accident, won't you?
+
+MARY [resignedly, sadly]
+
+O, yes, John. And you won't try to get
+rich or do anything silly, will you?
+
+JOHN
+
+No, Mary. I only want to catch that
+train. I'm content with the rest. The same
+things must happen, and they must lead me
+the same way, to you, Mary. Good night,
+now, dear.
+
+MARY
+
+Good night?
+
+JOHN
+
+I shall stay here on the sofa holding the
+crystal and thinking. Then I'll have a
+biscuit and start at seven.
+
+MARY
+
+Thinking, John? What about?
+
+JOHN
+
+Getting it clear in my mind what I want
+to do. That one thing and the rest the same.
+There must be no mistakes.
+
+MARY [sadly]
+
+Good night, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+Have supper ready at eleven.
+
+MARY
+
+Very well, John.
+[Exit.]
+
+JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two]
+
+I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him.
+
+[He takes the crystal and closes it up in
+the palm of his left hand.]
+
+I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and
+a day, at, at--8.10 a.m. to-morrow; 8.10 a.m.
+to-morrow, 8.10.
+
+[Re-enter MARY in doorway.]
+
+MARY
+
+John! John! You are sure he did get
+his fifty pounds?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the
+money?
+
+MARY
+
+You are sure it wasn't ten shillings?
+
+JOHN
+
+Cater paid him, I didn't.
+
+MARY
+
+Are you sure that Cater didn't give him
+ten shillings?
+
+JOHN
+
+It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have
+done!
+
+MARY
+
+O, John!
+
+JOHN
+
+Hmm.
+
+
+Curtain
+
+
+
+SCENE 3
+
+Scene: As in Act I, Scene 1.
+Time. Ten years ago.
+
+BERT
+
+'Ow goes it, Bill?
+
+BILL
+
+Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes?
+
+BERT
+
+I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it?
+
+BILL
+
+Bloody.
+
+BERT
+
+Why, what's wrong?
+
+BILL
+
+Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong.
+
+BERT
+
+What's up, then?
+
+BILL
+
+Nothing ain't right.
+
+BERT
+
+Why, wot's the worry?
+
+BILL
+
+Wot's the worry? They don't give you
+better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks
+they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say
+wot they likes, like.
+
+BERT
+
+Why? You been on the carpet, Bill?
+
+BILL
+
+Ain't I! Proper.
+
+BERT
+
+Why? Wot about, Bill?
+
+BILL
+
+Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let
+a lidy get into a train. That's wot about.
+Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the
+train was moving. Thought it was dangerous.
+Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose.
+
+BERT
+
+Wot? The other day?
+
+BILL
+
+Yes.
+
+BERT?
+
+Tuesday?
+
+BILL
+
+Yes.
+
+BERT
+
+Why? The one that dropped her bag?
+
+BILL
+
+Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the
+company. They writes back she shouldn't 'av
+got in. She writes back she should. Then
+they gets on to me. Any more of it and I'll...
+
+BERT
+
+I wouldn't, Bill; don't you.
+
+BILL
+
+I will.
+
+BERT
+
+Don't you, Bill. You've got your family
+to consider.
+
+BILL
+
+Well, anyway, I won't let any more of
+them passengers go jumping into trains any
+more, not when they're moving, I won't.
+When the train gets in, doors shut. That's
+the rule, and they'll have to abide by it.
+
+[Enter JOHN BEAL.]
+
+BILL [touching his hat]
+Good morning, sir.
+
+[JOHN does not answer, but walks to the
+door between them.]
+
+Carry your bag, sir?
+
+JOHN
+
+Go to hell!
+
+[Exit through door.]
+
+BILL
+
+Ullo.
+
+BERT
+
+Somebody's been getting at 'im.
+
+BILL
+
+Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young
+feller.
+
+BERT
+
+Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule?
+
+BILL
+
+Never knew 'im like this.
+
+BERT
+
+You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave
+yer?
+
+BILL
+
+Never in my life.
+
+BERT
+
+Well, I never.
+
+BILL
+
+'Ad some trouble o' some kind.
+
+BERT
+
+Must 'ave.
+
+[Train is heard.]
+
+BILL
+
+Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying...
+
+Curtain
+
+SCENE 4
+
+In a second-class railway carriage.
+
+Time: Same morning as Scene 1, Act I.
+
+Noise, and a scene drawn past the
+windows. The scene, showing a
+momentary glimpse of fair English hills, is
+almost entirely placards, "GIVE HER
+BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO,"
+alternately, for ever.
+
+Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man.
+
+All sit in stoical silence like the two
+images near Luxor. The man has the
+window seat, and therefore the right of
+control over the window.
+
+MIRALDA CLEMENT
+
+Would you mind having the window open?
+
+THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his
+shoulders in a shivery way]
+
+Er--certainly. [Meaning he does not mind.
+He opens the window.]
+
+MIRALDA CLEMENT
+
+Thank you so much.
+
+MAN IN THE CORNER
+
+Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict
+her. Stoical silence again.]
+
+MIRALDA CLEMENT
+
+Would you mind having it shut now? I
+think it is rather cold.
+
+MAN IN THE CORNER
+
+Certainly.
+
+[He shuts it. Silence again.]
+
+MIRALDA CLEMENT
+
+I think I'd like the window open again now
+for a bit. It is rather stuffy, isn't it?
+
+MAN IN THE CORNER
+
+Well, I think it's very cold.
+
+MIRALDA CLEMENT
+
+O, do you? But would you mind opening
+it for me?
+
+MAN IN THE CORNER
+
+I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't
+mind.
+
+[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and
+her pretty face expresses the resignation of
+the Christian martyr in the presence of
+lions. This for the benefit of John.]
+
+JOHN
+
+Allow me, madam.
+
+[He leans across the window's rightful
+owner, a bigger man than he, and opens his
+window.
+
+MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders
+and, quite sensibly, turns to his paper.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, thank you so much.
+
+JOHN
+
+Don't mention it.
+
+[Silence again.]
+
+VOICES OF PORTERS [Off]
+
+Fan Kar, Fan Kar.
+
+[MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Could you tell me where this is?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes. Elephant and Castle.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Thank you so much. It was kind of you to
+protect me from that horrid man. He wanted
+to suffocate me.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very
+glad.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I should have been afraid to have done it in
+spite of him. It was splendid of you.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, that was nothing.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, it was, really.
+
+JOHN
+
+Only too glad to help you in any little way.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It was so kind of you.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, not at all.
+
+[Silence for a bit.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I've nobody to help me.
+
+JOHN
+
+Er, er, haven't you really?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+No, nobody.
+
+JOHN
+
+I'd be very glad to help you in any little
+way.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I wonder if you could advise me.
+
+JOHN
+
+I--I'd do my best.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+You see, I have nobody to advise me.
+
+JOHN
+
+No, of course not.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I live with my aunt, and she doesn't
+understand. I've no father or mother.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, er, er, really?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+No. And an uncle died and he left me a
+hundred thousand pounds.
+
+JOHN
+
+Really?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it
+out of contrariness as much as anything.
+He was always like that to me.
+
+JOHN
+
+Was he? Was he really?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per
+cent. He never liked me. Thought I was
+too--I don't know what.
+
+JOHN
+
+No.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+That was five years ago, and I've never got
+a penny of it.
+
+JOHN
+
+Really. But, but that's not right.
+
+MIRALDA [sadly]
+
+No.
+
+JOHN
+
+Where's it invested?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+In Al Shaldomir.
+
+JOHN
+
+Where's that?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I don't quite know. I never was good at
+geography. I never quite knew where Persia
+ends.
+
+JOHN
+
+And what kind of an investment was it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+There's a pass in some mountains that they
+can get camels over, and a huge toll is levied
+on everything that goes by; that is the custom
+of the tribe that lives there, and I believe
+the toll is regularly collected.
+
+JOHN
+
+And who gets it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben
+Hussein. But my uncle lent him all this
+money, and the toll on the camels was what
+they call the security. They always carry
+gold and turquoise, you know.
+
+JOHN
+
+Do they?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes, they get it from the rivers.
+
+JOHN
+
+I see.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It does seem a shame his not paying,
+doesn't it?
+
+JOHN
+
+A shame? I should think it is. An awful
+shame. Why, it's a crying shame. He ought
+to go to prison.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard
+to find him. It isn't as if it was this side of
+Persia. It's being on the other side that is
+such a pity. If only it was in a country like,
+like...
+
+JOHN
+
+I'd soon find him. I'd... Why, a man
+like that deserves anything.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It is good of you to say that.
+
+JOHN
+
+Why, I'd... And you say you never
+got a penny?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+No.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, that is a shame. I call that a
+downright shame.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Now, what ought I to do?
+
+JOHN
+
+Do? Well, now, you know in business
+there's nothing like being on the spot. When
+you're on the spot you can--but then, of
+course, it's so far.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It is, isn't it?
+
+JOHN
+
+Still, I think you should go if you could.
+If only I could offer to help you in any way,
+I would gladly, but of course...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What would you do?
+
+JOHN
+
+I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and
+then...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes?
+
+JOHN
+
+Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and
+make him see that you didn't keep all that
+money that belonged to someone else.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Would you really?
+
+JOHN
+
+Nothing would please me better.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Would you really? Would you go all that
+way?
+
+JOHN
+
+It's just the sort of thing that I should like,
+apart from the crying shame. The man
+ought to be...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+We're getting into Holborn. Would you
+come and lunch somewhere with me and talk
+it over?
+
+JOHN
+
+Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to
+see a man on business first. I've come up to
+see him. And then after that, after that
+there was something I wanted to do after that.
+I can't think what it was. But something I
+wanted to do after that. O, heavens, what
+was it?
+
+[Pause.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Can't you think?
+
+JOHN
+
+No. O, well, it can't have been so very
+important. And yet... Well, where shall
+we lunch?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Gratzenheim's.
+
+JOHN
+
+Right. What time?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+One-thirty. Would that suit?
+
+JOHN
+
+Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like
+Hussein in prison. I'd like... O, I beg your
+pardon.
+
+[He hurries to open the door. Exit
+MIRALDA.]
+
+Now what was it I wanted to do
+afterwards?
+
+[Throws hand to forehead.]
+O, never mind.
+
+Curtain
+
+
+
+
+ACT II
+
+SCENE
+
+JOHN's tent in Al Shaldomir. There
+are two heaps of idols, left and right, lying
+upon the ground inside the tent. DAOUD
+carries another idol in his arms. JOHN
+looks at its face.
+
+Six months have elapsed since the scene
+in the second-class railway carriage.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+This god is holy.
+
+[He points to the left heap. DAOUD
+carries it there and lays it on the heap.]
+
+DAOUD
+
+Yes, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You are in no wise to call me great master.
+Have not I said so? I am not your master.
+I am helping you people. I know better than
+you what you ought to do, because I am
+English. But that's all. I'm not your master,
+See?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Yes, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, go and get some more idols. Hurry.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Great master, I go.
+[Exit.]
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I can't make these people out.
+
+DAOUD [returning]
+
+I have three gods.
+
+JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to
+the two smaller idols first]
+These two are holy. This one is unholy.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Yes, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Put them on the heap.
+
+[DAOUD does so, two left, one right.]
+
+Get some more.
+
+[DAOUD salaams. Exit.]
+
+[Looking at right heap.] What a--what a
+filthy people
+
+[Enter DAOUD with two idols.]
+
+JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny]
+
+This god is holy, this is unholy.
+
+[Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bowler"
+hat.]
+
+Why, ARCHIE, this is splendid of you!
+You've come! Why, that's splendid! All
+that way!
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+ARCHIE, it's grand of you to come! I never
+ought to have asked it of you, only...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, that's all right. But what in the world
+are you doing?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+ARCHIE, it's splendid of you.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all
+this?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, this. Well, well they're the very oddest
+people here. It's a long story. But I wanted
+to tell you first how enormously grateful I
+am to you for coming.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, that's all right. But I want to know
+what you're doing with all these genuine
+antiques.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, ARCHIE, the fact of it is they're a real
+odd lot of people here. I've learnt their
+language, more or less, but I don't think I quite
+understand them yet. A lot of them are
+Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed,
+you know. He's dead. But a lot of them
+worship these things, and...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, what have you got 'em all in here
+for?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with
+them, but, well, I simply had to. You see
+there's two sorts of idols here; they offer
+fruit and rats to some of them; they lay them
+on their hands or their laps.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why do they offer them rats?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, I don't know. They don't know either.
+It's the right thing to do out here, it's been
+the right thing for hundreds of years; nobody
+exactly knows why. It's like the bows we
+have on evening shoes, or anything else.
+But it's all right.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, what are you putting them in heaps
+for?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Because there's the other kind, the ones
+with wide mouths and rust round them.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they
+do?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+They offer blood to them, ARCHIE. They
+pour it down their throats. Sometimes they
+kill people, sometimes they only bleed them.
+It depends how much blood the idol wants.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+How much blood it wants? Good Lord!
+How do they know?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+The priests tell them. Sometimes they
+fill them up to their necks--they're all hollow,
+you know. In spring it's awful.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why are they worse in spring?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't know. The priests ask for more
+blood then. Much more. They say it always
+was so.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+And you're stopping it?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm
+letting them worship those. Of course, it's
+idolatry and all that kind of thing, but I
+don't like interfering short of actual murder.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+And they're obeying you?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+'M, y-yes. I think so.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+You must have got a great hold over them.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, I don't know about that. It's the
+pass that counts.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+The pass?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, that place you came over. It's the
+only way anyone can get here.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass
+affect these idols?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+It affects everything here. If that pass
+were closed no living man would ever enter
+or leave, or even hear of, this country. It's
+absolutely cut off except for that one pass.
+Why, ARCHIE, it isn't even on the map.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, I know.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody.
+No one else counts.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+And who does own it?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called
+Hussein, but Miss Clement's uncle, a man
+called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer,
+seems to have come this way; and I think he
+understood what this pass is worth.
+Anyhow, he lent Hussein a big sum of money and
+got an acknowledgment from Hussein. Old
+Hinnard must have been a wonderfully
+shrewd man. For that acknowledgment is
+no more legal than an I.O.U., and Hussein
+is simply a brigand.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Not very good security.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself
+respects that piece of parchment he signed.
+There's the name of some god or other written
+on it Hussein is frightened of. Now you
+see how things are. That pass is as holy as
+all the gods that there are in Al Shaldomir.
+Hussein possesses it. But he owes an
+enormous sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am
+here as her agent; and you've come to help
+me like a great sportsman.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, never mind that. Well, it all seems
+pretty simple.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, I don't know, ARCHIE. Hussein
+admits the debt, but...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+But what?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't know what he'll do.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Wants watching, does he?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of
+responsible for all these silly people.
+Somebody's got to look after them. Daoud!
+
+DAOUD [off]
+
+Great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Bring in some more gods.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Yes, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I can't get them to stop calling me absurd
+titles. They're so infernally Oriental.
+
+[Enter DAOUD.]
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+He's got two big ones this time.
+
+JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE]
+
+You see, there is rust about their mouths.
+[To DAOUD]: They are both unholy.
+
+[He points to R. heap, and DAOUD
+puts them there. To DAOUD.]
+
+Bring in some more.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Great master, there are no more gods in
+Al Shaldomir.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+It is well.
+
+DAOUD
+
+What orders, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Listen. At night you shall come and take
+these gods away. These shall be worshipped
+again in their own place, these you shall cast
+into the great river and tell no man where you
+cast them.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Yes, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You will do this, Daoud?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even so, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I am sorry to make you do it. You are
+sad that you have to do it. Yet it must be
+done.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Yes, I am sad, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But why are you sad, Daoud?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Great master, in times you do not know
+these gods were holy. In times you have not
+guessed. In old centuries, master, perhaps
+before the pass. Men have prayed to them,
+sorrowed before them, given offerings to
+them. The light of old hearths has shone on
+them, flames from old battles. The shadow
+of the mountains has fallen on them, so
+many times, master, so many times. Dawn
+and sunset have shone on them, master, like
+firelight flickering; dawn and sunset, dawn
+and sunset, flicker, flicker, flicker for century
+after century. They have sat there watching
+the dawns like old men by the fire. They are
+so old, master, so old. And some day dawn
+and sunset will die away and shine on the
+world no more, and they would have still
+sat on in the cold. And now they go...
+They are our history, master, they are our old
+times. Though they be bad times they are
+our times, master; and now they go. I am
+sad, master, when the old gods go.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But they are bad gods, Daoud.
+
+DAOUD
+
+I am sad when the bad gods go.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+They must go, Daoud. See, there is no
+one watching. Take them now.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even so, great master.
+
+[He takes up the largest of the gods with
+rust.]
+
+Come, Aho-oomlah, thou shalt not drink
+Nideesh.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Was Nideesh to have been sacrificed?
+
+DAOUD
+
+He was to have been drunk by Aho-oomlah.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Nideesh.  Who is he?
+
+DAOUD
+
+He is my son.
+
+[Exit with Aho-oomlah.
+JOHN BEAL almost gasps.]
+
+ARCHIE BEAL [who has been looking round
+the tent]
+
+What has he been saying?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+They're--they're a strange people.  I
+can't make them out.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Is that the heap that oughtn't to be
+worshipped?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, do you know, I'm going to chuck this
+hat there.  It doesn't seem to me somehow to
+be any more right here than those idols would
+be at home.  Odd isn't it?  Here goes.
+
+[He throws hat on right heap of idols.  JOHN
+BEAL does not smile.]
+
+Why, what's the matter?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't like to see a decent Christian hat
+among these filthy idols.  They've all got
+rust on their mouths.  I don't like to see
+it, Archie; it's sort of like what they call
+an omen.  I don't like it.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Do they keep malaria here?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't think so.  Why?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Then what's the matter, Johnny?  Your nerves
+are bad.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You don't know these people, and I've brought
+you out here.  I feel kind of responsible.
+If Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't
+know what he'd do, with all those idols and
+all.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+He'll give 'em a drink, you mean.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Don't, ARCHIE. There's no saying. And I
+feel responsible for you.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, they can have my hat. It looks
+silly, somehow. I don't know why. What
+are we going to do?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, now that you've come we can go
+ahead.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Righto. What at?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and
+get everything clear in black and white, and
+see just what he owes to Miss Miralda
+Clement.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+But they don't keep accounts here.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+How do you know?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why, of course they don't. One can see
+that.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But they must.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, you haven't changed a bit for your
+six months here.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Haven't changed?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+No. Just quietly thinking of business.
+You'll be a great business man, Johnny.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But we must do business; that's what I
+came here for.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+You'll never make these people do it.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, what do you suggest?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Let's have a look at old Hussein.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, that's what I have been waiting for.
+Daoud!
+
+DAOUD [off]
+
+Master. [Enters.]
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass
+and beat on the outer door. Say that I
+desire to see him. Pray him to come to my
+tent.
+
+[DAOUD bows and Exit.]
+
+[To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace
+to ask Hussein to come.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Lives in a palace, does he?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place.
+It's bigger than the Mansion House, much.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+And you're going to teach him to keep
+accounts.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems
+almost like being rude to the Lord Mayor.
+But there's two things I can't stand--cheating
+in business is one and murder's another.
+I've got to interfere. You see, if one happens
+to know the right from wrong as we do, we've
+simply got to tell people who don't. But
+it isn't pleasant. I almost wish I'd never
+come.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why, it's the greatest sport in the world.
+It's splendid.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't see it that way. To me those idols
+are just horrid murder. And this man owes
+money to this girl with no one to look after
+her, and he's got to pay. But I hate being
+rude to a man in a place like the Mansion
+House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord,
+who am I? It seems such cheek.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is
+she pretty?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+What, Miss Miralda? Yes.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+But what I mean is--what's she like?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say.
+She's, she's tall and she's fair and she's got
+blue eyes.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is
+she? How does she strike you?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets
+this money, and she hasn't got any job that's
+any good, and no real prospects bar this,
+and nobody particular by birth, and doesn't
+know anybody who is, and lives in the least
+fashionable suburb and can only just afford
+a second-class fare and...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, yes, go on.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+And yet somehow she sort of seems like
+a--like a queen.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Lord above us! And what kind of a queen?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, I don't know. Well, look here, ARCHIE,
+it's only my impression. I don't know her
+well yet. It's only my impression. I only
+tell you in absolute confidence. You won't
+pass it on to anybody, of course.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, no. Go on.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, I don't know, only she seemed more
+like well, a kind of autocrat, you know,
+who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't
+mean that, only...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+So you're not going to marry her?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd
+never dare ask her. She's not that sort. I
+tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good
+Lord!) she'd be a queen if it wasn't for
+Hussein, or something very like one. We can't
+go marrying queens. Anyhow, not one like
+her.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why not one like her?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I tell you--she's a--well, a kind of goddess.
+You couldn't ask her if she loved you. It
+would be such, such...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Such what?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Such infernal cheek.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with
+her. But it seems to me you'll be seeing a
+good deal of her some day if we pull this off.
+And then, my boy-o, you'll be going and
+getting in love with her.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to
+the Queen of Sheba.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you
+from her all I can.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Protect me from her? Why?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why, because there's lots of other girls
+and it seems to me you might be happier with
+some of them.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But you haven't even seen her.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect
+you I somehow think I will. And if I'm not
+...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, and what then?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does
+everything. I can't protect you.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but...
+
+HUSSEIN [off]
+
+I am here.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Be seen.
+
+[HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike
+Bluebeard.]
+
+JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE]
+My brother.
+
+[ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN.
+HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is
+over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and
+Hussein then bow to each other.]
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+You desired my presence.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I am honoured.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+And I.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard,
+lent you one thousand greater gold pieces,
+which in our money is one hundred thousand
+pounds, as you acknowledge. [Hussein
+nods his head.] And every year you were to
+pay him for this two hundred and fifty of your
+greater gold pieces--as you acknowledge also.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+Even so.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+And this you have not yet had chance to
+pay, but owe it still.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+I do.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+And now Hinnard is dead.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+Peace be with him.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who
+instructs me to be her agent. What have you
+to say?
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+Peace be with Hinnard.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You acknowledge your debt to this lady,
+Miss Miralda Clement?
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+I know her not.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You will not pay your debt?
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+I will pay.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+If you bring the gold to my tent, my
+brother will take it to Miss Clement.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+I do not pay to Miss Clement.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+To whom do you pay?
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+I pay to Hinnard.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Hinnard is dead.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+I pay to Hinnard.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+How will you pay to Hinnard?
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+If he be buried in the sea...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+He is not buried at sea.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+If he be buried by any river I go to the god
+of rivers.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+He is buried on land near no river.
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+Therefore I will go to a bronze god of
+earth, very holy, having the soil in his care
+and the things of earth. I will take unto him
+the greater pieces of gold due up to the year
+when the white traveller died, and will melt
+them in fire at his feet by night on the
+mountains, saying, "O, Lruru-onn (this is his
+name) take this by the way of earth to the
+grave of Hinnard." And so I shall be free
+of my debt before all gods.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But not before me. I am English. And
+we are greater than gods.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What's that, Johnny?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+He won't pay, but I told him we're English
+and that they're greater than all his bronze
+gods.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+That's right, Johnny.
+
+[HUSSEIN looks fiercely at ARCHIE.
+He sees ARCHIE's hat lying before a big
+idol. He points at the hat and looks in
+the face of the idol.]
+
+HUSSEIN [to the idol]
+Drink! Drink!
+
+[He bows. Exit.]
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What's that he's saying?
+
+JOHN BEAL [meditatively]
+O, nothing--nothing.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+He won't pay, oh?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+No, not to Miss Miralda.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Who to?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+To one of his gods.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+That won't do.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+No.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What'll we do?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in
+England.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+No, it isn't.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+If we were in England...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I know; if we were in England you could
+call a policeman. I tell you what it is,
+Johnny.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I tell you what; you want to see more of
+Miss Clement.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Why?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why, because at the present moment our
+friend Hussein is a craftier fellow than you,
+and looks like getting the best of it.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help
+us?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why, because you want to be a bit craftier
+than Hussein, and I fancy she might make
+you.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+She? How?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+We're mostly made what we are by some
+woman or other. We think it's our own
+cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are
+you're no match for Hussein, but if you
+altered...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Why, ARCHIE; where did you get all those
+ideas from?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, I don't know.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You never used to talk like that.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, well.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You haven't been getting in love, ARCHIE,
+have you?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What are we to do about Hussein?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda.
+I got a letter from her the same day I got
+yours.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What does she say?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I couldn't make it out.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What were her words?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+She said she was going into it closer. She
+underlined closer. What could she mean by
+that? How could she get closer?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, the same way as I did.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+How do you mean? I don't understand.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+By coming here.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+By coming here? But she can't come here.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Why not?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Because it's impossible. Absolutely
+impossible. Why--good Lord--she couldn't
+come here. Why, she'd want a chaperon and
+a house and--and--everything. Good Lord,
+she couldn't come here. It would be--well
+it would be impossible--it couldn't be done.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, all right. Then I don't know what she
+meant.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+ARCHIE! You don't really think she'd come
+here? You don't really think it, do you?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of
+girl might do, but of course I can't say...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Good Lord, ARCHIE! That would be awful.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+But why?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Why? But what would I do? Where
+would she go? Where would her chaperon
+go? The chaperon would be some elderly
+lady. Why, it would kill her.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, if it did you've never met her, so you
+needn't go into mourning for an elderly lady
+that you don't know; not yet, anyway.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+No, of course not. You're laughing at me,
+ARCHIE. But for the moment I took you
+seriously. Of course, she won't come. One
+can go into a thing closely without doing it
+absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't
+it be an awful situation if she did.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, I don't know.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+All alone with me here? No, impossible.
+And the country isn't civilised.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL.
+
+Women aren't civilised.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Women aren't...? Good Lord, ARCHIE,
+what an awful remark. What do you mean?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+We're tame, they're wild. We like all the
+dull things and the quiet things, they like
+all the romantic things and the dangerous
+things.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Why, ARCHIE, it's just the other way about.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and
+all the dangerous things. But why?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Why? Because we like them, I suppose.
+I can't think of any other reason.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I hate danger. Don't you?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Er--well, yes, I suppose I do, really.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Of course you do. We all do. It's the
+women that put us up to it. She's putting
+you up to this. And the more she puts you
+up to the more likely is Hussein to get it in his
+fat neck.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But--but you don't mean you'd hurt
+Hussein? Not--not badly, I mean.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+We're under her orders, Johnny. See what
+she says.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You, you don't really think she'll come
+here?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Of course I do, and the best thing too.
+It's her show; she ought to come.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But, but you don't understand. She's
+just a young girl, A girl like Miss Miralda
+couldn't come out here over the pass and
+down these mountains, she'd never stand it,
+and as for the chaperon... You've
+never met Miss Miralda.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to
+get you to go from Bromley to this place can
+look after herself.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't see what that's got to do with it.
+She was in trouble and I had to help her.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way
+here from Blackheath, and everyone will have
+to help her.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+What beats me is how you can have the
+very faintest inkling of what she's like
+without ever having seen her and without my
+having spoken of her to you for more than a
+minute.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird,
+you're not a traveller by nature, barring your
+one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took
+you there. And contrariwise, as they say in
+a book you've never read, you're a
+levelheaded business man and a hardworking
+respectable stay-at-home. You meet a girl
+in a train, and the next time I see you you're
+in a place that isn't marked on the map and
+telling it what gods it ought to worship and
+what gods it ought to have agnosticism about.
+Well, I say some girl.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, I must say you make the most
+extraordinary deductions, but it was awfully good
+of you to come, and I ought to be grateful;
+and I am, too, I'm awfully grateful; and I
+ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go
+ahead. You shall say what you like and do
+what you like. It isn't many brothers that
+would do what you've done.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, that's nothing. I like this country.
+I'm glad I came. And if I can help you with
+Hussein, why all the better.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+It's an awful country, Archie, but we've
+got to see this through.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Does she know all about Hussein?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, everything. I've written fully.
+
+OMAR [Off]
+
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir,
+The nightingales that guard thy ways...
+
+JOHN BEAL [shouting|
+
+O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said
+it was an awful country. They sit down
+outside one's tent and do that kind of thing for
+no earthly reason.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, I'd let them sing.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, you can't have people doing that kind of
+thing.
+
+OMAR [in doorway]
+
+Master, I go.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But why do you come?
+
+OMAR
+
+I came to sing a joyous song to you, master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Why did you want to sing me a joyous
+song?
+
+OMAR
+
+Because a lady is riding out of the West.
+[Exit.]
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+A lady out of... Good Lord!
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+She's coming, Johnny.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said
+a lady; there'd be the chaperon too. There'd
+be two of them if it was Miss Miralda. But
+he said a lady. One lady. It can't be her.
+A girl like that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean
+off the map. Oh, no, it isn't possible.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I wouldn't worry.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the
+situation's impossible. People would talk.
+Don't you see what people would say? And
+where could they go? Who would look after
+them? Do try and understand how awful
+it is. But it isn't. It's impossible. It can't
+be them. For heaven's sake run out and see
+if it is; and (good Lord!) I haven't brushed
+my hair all day, and, and--oh, look at me.
+
+[He rushes to camp mirror. Exit
+ARCHIE.
+
+JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately.
+
+Enter ARCHIE.]
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+It's what you call THEM.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+What I call THEM? Whatever do you
+mean?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, it's her. She's just like what you said.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can
+never have been able to afford a horse.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+She's on a camel. She'll be here in a
+moment. [He goes to door.] Hurry up with that
+hair; she's dismounted.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, Lord! What's the chaperon like?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, she's attending to that herself.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Attending to it herself? What do you
+mean?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I expect she'll attend to most things.
+
+[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in doorway
+of tent, pulling back flap a little.]
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Who are you?
+
+HAFIZ
+
+I show the gracious lady to your tent.
+
+[Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing
+a smile to HAFIZ.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Hullo, Mr. Beal.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Er--er--how do you do?
+
+[She looks at ARCHIE.]
+
+O, this is my brother--Miss Clement.
+
+MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL
+
+How do you do?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I like this country.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I'm afraid I hardly expected you.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Didn't you?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+No. You see er--it's such a long way.
+And wasn't it very expensive?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Well, the captain of the ship was very kind
+to me.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O! But what did you do when you landed?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, there were some Arabs coming this way
+in a caravan. They were really very good to
+me too.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But the camel?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, there were some people the other side of
+the mountains. Everybody has been very
+kind about it. And then there was the man
+who showed me here. He's called Hafiz el
+Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But, you know, this country, Miss
+Clement, I'm half afraid it's hardly--isn't it,
+Archie? Er--how long did you think of
+staying?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, a week or so.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I don't know what you'll think of Al
+Shaldomir. I'm afraid you'll find it...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the
+mountains, and the one pass, and no record of it
+anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You see, I'm afraid--what I mean is I'm
+afraid the place isn't even on the map!
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, that's lovely of it.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+All decent places are.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+You mean if a place is on the map we've
+got to behave accordingly. But if not, why...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Hussein won't pay.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Let's see Hussein.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a
+savage-looking brigand.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Never mind.
+
+[ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling
+sometimes.]
+
+Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the
+unholy heap and takes away two large idols,
+one under each arm. Exit.]
+
+What's that, Mr. Beal?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible.
+I told you it was an awful country. They
+pray to these idols here, and some are all
+right, though of course it's terribly
+blasphemous, but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well
+that heap is very bad indeed.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What do they do?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+They kill people.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Do they? How?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I'm afraid they pour their blood down those
+horrible throats.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Do they? How do you know?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I've seen them do it, and those mouths
+are all rusty. But it's all right now. It
+won't happen any more.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Won't it? Why not?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, I...
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're
+all going to be thrown into the river.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Have you?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now.
+They won't do it any more.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+H'm.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+What, what is it? I promise you that's all
+right. They won't do that any more.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+H'm. I've never known anyone that tried
+to govern a country or anything of that sort,
+but...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put
+them right.... I'd be very glad of your
+advice... Of course, I'm only here in
+your name.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What I mean is that I'd always thought
+that the one thing you shouldn't do, if you
+don't mind my saying so...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+No, certainly.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Was to interfere in people's
+religious beliefs.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But, but I don't think you quite
+understand. The priests knife these people in the
+throat, boys and girls, and then acolytes
+lift them up and the blood runs down. I've
+seen them.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I think it's best to leave religion to the
+priests. They understand that kind of thing.
+
+[JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror
+and looks at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns
+the glance; there is very nearly a twinkle in
+ARCHIE's eyes.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Let's see Hussein.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+What do you think, Archie?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Poor fellow. We'd better send for him.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why do you say "poor fellow"?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's
+awful to be in debt. I'd sooner almost
+anything happened to me than to owe a lot of
+money.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Your remark didn't sound very
+complimentary.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt.
+And I should hate owing money to you,
+Because...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Because I should so awfully want to pay it.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I see.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+That's all I meant.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Does Hussein awfully want to pay it?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He
+will then, of course.
+
+[Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy
+heap.]
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Daoud, for the present these gods must
+stay. Aho-oomlah's gone, but the rest must
+stay for the present.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even so, great master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Daoud, go once more to the palace of the
+Lord of the Pass and beat the outer door.
+Say that the great lady herself would see him.
+The great lady, Miss Clement, the white
+traveller's heiress.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Yes, master.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Hasten.
+
+[Exit DAOUD.]
+
+I have sent him for Hussein.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I don't know their language.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You will see him, and I'll tell you what he
+says.
+
+MIRALDA [to ARCHIE]
+
+Have you been here long?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+No. I think he wrote to me by the same
+mail as he wrote to you (if they have mails
+here). I came at once.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+So did I; but you weren't on the Empress
+of Switzerland.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+No, I came round more by land.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein
+in here to see you. He's such a--he's rather
+a...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What's the matter with him?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and
+one doesn't know what he'll do.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Well, we must see him first and hear what
+he has to say before we take any steps.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But what do you propose to do?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or
+gives up the security...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+The security is the pass.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes. If he gives up that or pays...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You know he's practically king of the
+whole country. It seems rather cheek almost
+my sending for him like this.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+He must come.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But what are you going to do?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+If he gives up the pass...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be
+you'd be a kind of queen of it all.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Well, if he does that, all right...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But what if he doesn't?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why, if he doesn't pay...
+
+HUSSEIN [off]
+
+I am here.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Be seen.
+
+[Enter HUSSEIN.]
+
+HUSSEIN
+
+Greeting once more.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Again greeting.... The great lady,
+Miss Clement, is here.
+
+[HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each
+other.]
+
+You will pay to Miss Clement and not to
+your god of bronze. On the word of an
+Englishman, your god of bronze shall not have
+one gold piece that belongs to the great lady!
+
+HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous]
+
+On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only
+pay to Hinnard.
+
+[He stands smiling while MIRALDA
+regards him. Exit.]
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+He won't pay.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What are we to do now?
+
+JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA]
+
+I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to
+introduce you to like that. I'm sorry he came
+now.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, I like him, I think he looks splendid.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Well, what are we to do?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+What do you say, Miss Clement?
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, what do you feel we ought to do?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to
+you.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+O, no.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+No, it's your money. What do you think
+we really ought to do?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Well, of course, I think you ought to kill
+Hussein.
+
+[JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look
+at each other a little startled.]
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But wouldn't that--wouldn't that
+be--murder?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, yes, according to the English law.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I see; you mean--you mean we're not--but
+we are English.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I mean it wouldn't be murder--by your
+law, unless you made it so.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+By my law?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes, if you can interfere with their religion
+like this, and none of them say a word,
+why--you can make any laws you like.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the
+Pass, and that's everything here. I'm nobody.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's
+different.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I think she means that if Hussein weren't
+there there'd be only you. Of course, I don't
+know. I've only just come.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+But we can't kill Hussein!
+
+[MIRALDA begins to cry.]
+
+O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss
+Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said
+anything you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for
+worlds. I'm awfully sorry. It's a beastly
+country, I know. I'm really sorry you came.
+I feel it's all my fault. I'm really awfully
+sorry...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Never mind. Never mind. I was so
+helpless, and I asked you to help me. I never
+ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have
+spoken to you at all in that train without
+being introduced; but I was so helpless. And
+now, and now, I haven't a penny in the world,
+and, O, I don't know what to do.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Anything in the wide world. Please, please
+don't cry. We'll do anything.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I... I only, I only wanted to--to kill
+Hussein. But never mind, it doesn't matter
+now.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we,
+Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. I--I
+suppose he deserves it, doesn't he?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, I suppose he does.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled.
+My brother and I will talk it over.
+
+MIRALDA [still sniping]
+
+And--and--don't hang him or anything--he
+looks so fine.... I--I wouldn't like
+him treated like that. He has such a grand
+beard. He ought to die fighting.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's
+sweet of both of you. I don't know what I d
+have done without you. I seemed to know
+it that day the moment I saw you.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+O, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at
+all.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+That's all right.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the
+trouble. That's what I've been thinking of
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why, isn't there...
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to
+do, Archie.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+I--I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement
+would have a scheme.
+
+MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL]
+
+I rely on you, Mr. Beal.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I--I; but what can I... You see,
+you're all alone. If you'd anyone with you,
+you could have...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt.
+But on the whole I thought it better not to
+tell anyone.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Not to tell...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+No, on the whole I didn't.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+I say, Archie, what are we to do?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Here's Daoud.
+
+[Enter DAOUD.]
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir!
+
+DAOUD
+
+I have brought two watchers of the
+doorstep to guard the noble lady.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+He says he's brought two watchers of the
+doorstep to look after Miss Clement.
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go
+anywhere now.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Well, really, that is better. Yes that will
+be all right. We can find a room for you now.
+The trouble was your being alone. I hope
+you'll like them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them
+to enter here.
+
+DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway]
+
+Ho! Enter!
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+That's all right, ARCHIE, isn't it?
+
+ARCHIE BEAL
+
+Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a
+chaperon, black or white.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+You won't mind their being black, will you,
+Miss Clement?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse
+than white ones.
+
+[Enter BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA
+two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock
+fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at
+them. They begin to fan slightly.]
+
+DAOUD
+
+The watchers of the doorstep.
+
+JOHN BEAL
+
+Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may
+not guard a lady's door.
+
+[BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile
+ingratiatingly.]
+
+We are not men.
+
+BAZZALOL [bowing]
+
+Curtain
+
+Six and a half years elapse
+
+
+THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES
+
+When morn is bright on the mountains olden
+ Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day,
+ When morn is bright and the marshes golden,
+Where shall the lost lights fade away?
+ And where, my love, shall we dream to-day?
+
+Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows
+ Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray,
+And the water is streaked with the flash of
+swallows
+ And all through summer the iris sway.
+ But where, my love, shall we dream to-day?
+
+When night is black in the iris marshes.
+
+
+
+
+ACT III
+
+SCENE 1
+
+Six and a half years later.
+Al Shaldomir.
+A room in the palace.
+
+MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions,
+JOHN beside her.
+
+Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them.
+
+OMAR [declaiming to a zither]
+
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir,
+ The nightingales that guard thy ways
+Cease not to give thee, after God
+ And after Paradise, all praise.
+ Thou art the theme of all their lays.
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir....
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Go now, Omar.
+
+OMAR
+
+O lady, I depart.
+[Exit.]
+
+MIRALDA [languidly]
+
+John, John. I wish you'd marry me.
+
+JOHN
+
+Miralda, you're thinking of those old
+customs again that we left behind us seven years
+ago. What's the good of it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I had a fancy that I wished you would.
+
+JOHN
+
+What's the good of it? You know you are
+my beloved. There are none of those
+clergymen within hundreds of miles. What's the
+good of it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+We could find one, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, yes, I suppose we could, but...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why won't you?
+
+JOHN
+
+I told you why.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, yes, that instinct that you must not
+marry. That's not your reason, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, it is.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason.
+It's no reason at all. There's some other
+reason.
+
+JOHN
+
+No, there isn't. But I feel that in my
+bones. I don't know why. You know that
+I love none else but you. Besides, we're
+never going back, and it doesn't matter.
+This isn't Blackheath.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+So I must live as your slave.
+
+JOHN
+
+No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my
+slave. Did not the singer compare our love
+to the desire of the nightingale for the
+evening star? All know that you are my queen.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+They do not know at home.
+
+JOHN
+
+Home? Home? How could they know?
+What have we in common with home? Rows
+and rows of little houses; and if they hear a
+nightingale there they write to the papers.
+And--and if they saw this they'd think they
+were drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd.
+What has set you thinking of home?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I want to be crowned queen.
+
+JOHN
+
+But I am not a king. I am only Shereef.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+You are all-powerful here, John, you can do
+what you please, if you wish to. You don't
+love me at all.
+
+JOHN
+
+Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't
+I kill Hussein for you?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Yes, but you don't love me now.
+
+JOHN
+
+And Hussein's people killed ARCHIE. That
+was for you too. I brought my brother out
+here to help you. He was engaged to be
+married, too.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+But you don't love me now.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves
+the iris marshes. You know the song they
+sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III)
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Then why won't you marry me?
+
+JOHN
+
+I told you, I told you. I had a dream about
+the future. I forgot the dream, but I know
+I was not to marry. I will not wrong the
+future.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Don't be crazy.
+
+JOHN
+
+I will have what fancies I please, crazy or
+sane. Am I not Shereef of Shaldomir? Who
+dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I will be crowned queen.
+
+JOHN
+
+It is not my wish.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I will, I will, I will.
+
+JOHN
+
+Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast
+into a well and take twenty of the fairest
+daughters of Al Shaldomir in your place, who
+can gainsay me?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I will be crowned queen.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, do not be tiresome.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Was it not my money that brought you
+here? Was it not I who said "Kill Hussein"?
+What power could you have had, had
+Hussein lived? What would you have been doing
+now, but for me?
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't know, Miralda.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Catching some silly train to the City.
+Working for some dull firm. Living in some
+small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought
+you from all that, and you won't make me a
+queen.
+
+JOHN
+
+Is it not enough that you are my beloved?
+You know there is none other but you. Is
+it not enough, Miralda?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It is not enough. I will be queen.
+
+JOHN
+
+Tchah!... Miralda, I know you are a
+wonderful woman, the most wonderful in the
+East; how you ever came to be in the West
+I don't know, and a train of all places; but,
+Miralda, you must not have petty whims,
+they don't become you.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, when it is only the name you want.
+You are a queen. You have all you wish for.
+Are you not my beloved? And have I not
+power here over all men? Could I not close
+the pass?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I want to be queen.
+
+JOHN
+
+Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do
+than to sit and hear your whims. When I
+come back you will have some other whim.
+Miralda, you have too many whims.
+
+[He rises.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Will you be back soon?
+
+JOHN
+
+No.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+When will you come back, John?
+
+[She is reclining, looking fair, fanning
+slightly.]
+
+JOHN
+
+In half an hour.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+In half an hour?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes.
+
+[Exit.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Half an hour.
+
+[Her fan is laid down. She clutches
+it with sudden resolve. She goes to the
+wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans
+against it. She fans herself now with
+obvious deliberation. Three times the
+great fan goes pat against the window, and
+then again separately three times; and
+then she puts it against the window once
+with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled.
+She returns to the cushions and reclines
+with beautiful care, fanning herself softly.
+
+Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN]
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Lady! You bade me come.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Did I, Hafiz?
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Lady, your fan.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Ah, I was fanning myself.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Seven times, lady.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Ah, was it? Well, now you're here.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Lady, O star of these times. O light over
+lonely marshes. [He kneels by her and
+embraces her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+For half an hour, Hafiz.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+How know you for half an hour?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+He said so.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a
+man say so.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I know him.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+In our country who knows any man so
+much? None.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+He'll be away for half an hour.
+
+HAFIZ [embracing]
+
+O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for
+me?
+
+HAFIZ
+
+I would do all things, lady, O evening
+star.
+
+MIRANDA
+
+Would you make me a queen, Hafiz?
+
+HAFIZ
+
+If--if the Shereef were gathered?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Even so, Hafiz.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Lady, I would make you queen of all that
+lies west of the passes.
+
+MIRANDA
+
+You would make me queen?
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Indeed, before all my wives, before all
+women, over all Shaldomir, named the elect.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me.
+[HAFIZ does so ad lib.]
+
+Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+The appointed hour?
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Even the appointed hour, the last, leading
+to darkness.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's
+hour is soon?
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a
+banquet. Let the great ones of Shaldomir be
+bidden there.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+There shall be a banquet, Hafiz.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of
+the garden.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+It shall be soon, Hafiz.
+[More embraces.]
+
+HAFIZ
+
+And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son
+of the baker.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+He shall be bidden, Hafiz.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+O lady, it is well.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Go now, Hafiz.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL].
+Silence. Silence. Silence.
+
+BAZZALOL [kneeling]
+
+O, master!
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out;
+but do you be silent.
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+Aye, master.
+
+HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA]
+
+And you. Though this one speak, yet be
+silent, or dread the shadow of Hafiz el
+Alcolahn.
+
+[He drops a bag of gold.
+THOOTHOOBABA goes down and grabs at the gold;
+his eyes gloat over it.]
+
+THOOTHOOBABA
+
+Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h.
+
+[Exit HAFIZ.
+
+MIRALDA arranges herself on the
+cushions. She looks idly at each Nubian. The
+Nubians put each a finger over his lips and
+go on fanning with one hand.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen.
+
+[Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him
+caressingly.
+
+Enter DAOUD.]
+
+Oh, you have brought Daoud with you.
+
+JOHN
+
+Why not?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+You know that I don't like Daoud.
+
+JOHN
+
+I wish to speak with him.
+
+[MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and
+moves away in silence. Exit L.]
+
+JOHN
+
+Daoud.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Great master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery
+of those called Blessed, beyond the city's
+gates, you swore to me by the graves of both
+your parents....
+
+DAOUD
+
+Great master, even so I swore.
+
+JOHN
+
+.... to be true to me always.
+
+DAOUD
+
+There is no Shereef but my master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Daoud, you have kept your word.
+
+DAOUD
+
+I have sought to, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+You have helped me often, Daoud, warned
+me and helped me often. Through you I
+knew those currents that run through the
+deeps of the market, in silence and all men
+feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of
+them, and when I knew--then I could look
+after myself, Daoud. They could do nothing
+against me then. Well, now I hold this
+people. I hold them at last, Daoud, and now
+--well, I can rest a little.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Not in the East, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Not in the East, Daoud?
+
+DAOUD
+
+No, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Why? What do you mean?
+
+DAOUD
+
+In Western countries, master, whose tales
+I have read, in a wonderful book named the
+"Good Child's History of England," in the
+West a man hath power over a land, and lo!
+the power is his and descends to his son's son
+after him.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, doesn't it in the East?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Not if he does not watch, master; in the
+night and the day, and in the twilight
+between the day and the night, and in the dawn
+between the night and the day.
+
+JOHN
+
+I thought you had pretty long dynasties
+in these parts, and pretty lazy ones.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Master, he that was mightiest of those that
+were kings in Babylon had a secret door
+prepared in an inner chamber, which led to a
+little room, the smallest in the palace, whose
+back door opened secretly to the river, even
+to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited
+all the days of his reign.
+
+JOHN
+
+Did he really now? Well, he was taking no
+chances. Did he have to use it?
+
+DAOUD
+
+No, master. Such boats are never used.
+Those that watch like that do not need to
+seek them, and the others, they would never
+be able to reach the river in time, even though
+the boat were there.
+
+JOHN
+
+I shouldn't like to have to live like that.
+Why, a river runs by the back of this palace.
+I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm
+glad I don't have to keep a boat there.
+
+DAOUD
+
+No, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, what is it you are worrying about?
+Who is it you are afraid of?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Hafiz el Alcolahn.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately
+I ordered my spies to watch him no longer.
+Why does he hate me?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Because, most excellent master, you slew
+Hussein.
+
+JOHN
+
+Slew Hussein? What is that to do with
+him? May I not slay whom I please?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even so, master. Even so. But he was
+Hussein's enemy.
+
+JOHN
+
+His enemy, eh?
+
+DAOUD
+
+For years he had dreamed of the joy of
+killing Hussein.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, he should have done it before I came.
+We don't hang over things and brood over
+them for years where I come from. If a
+thing's to be done, it's done.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans
+for years. He would have killed him and got
+his substance; and then, when the hour drew
+near, you came, and Hussein died, swiftly,
+not as Hafiz would have had him die; and
+lo! thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz is
+no more than a beetle that runs about in the
+dirt.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, so you fear Hafiz?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not
+Hafiz. But, master, hast thou seen when the
+thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard
+and the sky is scarce yet black, how little
+winds run in the grass and sigh and die; and
+the flower beckons a moment with its head;
+all the world full of whispers, master, all
+saying nothing; then the lightning, master, and
+the anger of God; and men say it came
+without warning? [Simply.] I hear those things
+coming, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Master, it is all silent in the market. Once,
+when the price of turquoises was high, men
+abused the Shereef. When the merchant men
+could not sell their pomegranates for silver
+they abused the Shereef. It is men's way,
+master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the
+market. It is like the grasses with the idle
+winds, that whisper and sigh and die away;
+like the flowers beckoning to nothing. And
+so, master, and so....
+
+JOHN
+
+I see, you fear some danger.
+
+DAOUD
+
+I fear it, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+What danger, Daoud?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Master, I know not.
+
+JOHN
+
+From what quarter, Daoud?
+
+DAOUD
+
+O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir,
+named the elect, from that quarter.
+
+JOHN
+
+That quarter? Why, that is the gracious
+lady's innermost chamber.
+
+DAOUD
+
+From that quarter, great master, O Lord
+of the Pass.
+
+JOHN
+
+Daoud, I have cast men into prison for
+saying less than this. Men have been flogged
+on the feet for less than this.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Slay me, master, but hear my words.
+
+JOHN
+
+I will not slay you. You are mistaken,
+Daoud. You have made a great mistake.
+The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady
+has scarcely seen Hafiz. She knows nothing
+of the talk of the market. Who could tell
+her? No one comes here. It is absurd. Only
+the other day she said to me... But it
+is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the
+people would never rebel against me. Do I
+not govern them well?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even so, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Why should they rebel, then?
+
+DAOUD
+
+They think of the old times, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+The old times? Why, their lives weren't
+safe. The robbers came down from the
+mountains and robbed the market whenever they
+had a mind.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Master, men were content in the old times.
+
+JOHN
+
+But were the merchants content?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Those that loved merchandise were
+content, master. Those that loved it not went
+into the mountains.
+
+JOHN
+
+But were they content when they were
+robbed?
+
+DAOUD
+
+They soon recovered their losses, master.
+Their prices were unjust and they loved usury.
+
+JOHN
+
+And were the people content with unjust
+prices?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Some were, master, as men have to be in
+all countries. The others went into the
+mountains and robbed the merchants.
+
+JOHN
+
+I see.
+
+DAOUD
+
+But now, master, a man robs a merchant
+and he is cast into prison. Now a man is
+slain in the market and his son, his own son,
+master, may not follow after the aggressor
+and slay him and burn his house. They are
+ill-content, master. No man robs the
+merchants, no man slays them, and the
+merchants' hearts are hardened and they oppress
+all men.
+
+JOHN
+
+I see. They don't like good government?
+
+DAOUD
+
+They sigh for the old times, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for
+them, they want their old bad government
+back again.
+
+DAOUD
+
+It is the old way, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well,
+we must watch. You have warned me once
+again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you
+are wrong, Daoud, about the gracious lady.
+You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are
+mistaken, Daoud. I know it could not be.
+
+DAOUD
+
+I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am
+mistaken. Yet, watch. Watch, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, I will watch.
+
+DAOUD
+
+And, master, if ever I come to you bearing
+oars, then watch no longer, master, but follow
+me through the banquet chamber and through
+the room beyond it. Move as the wild deer
+move when there is danger, without pausing,
+without wondering, without turning round;
+for in that hour, master, in that hour....
+
+JOHN
+
+Through the room beyond the banquet
+chamber, Daoud?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Aye, master, following me.
+
+JOHN
+
+But there is no door beyond, Daoud.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Master, I have prepared a door.
+
+JOHN
+
+A door, Daoud?
+
+DAOUD
+
+A door none wots of, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Whither does it lead?
+
+DAOUD
+
+To a room that you know not of, a little
+room; you must stoop, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, and then?
+
+DAOUD
+
+To the river, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+The river! But there's no boat there.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Under the golden willow, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+A boat?
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even so, under the branches.
+
+JOHN
+
+Is it come to that?... No, Daoud, all
+this is unnecessary. It can't come to that.
+
+DAOUD
+
+If ever I come before you bearing two oars,
+in that hour, master, it is necessary.
+
+JOHN
+
+But you will not come. It will never come
+to that.
+
+DAOUD
+
+No, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+A wise man can stop things before they
+get as far as that.
+
+DAOUD
+
+They that were kings in Babylon were wise
+men, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Babylon! But that was thousands of
+years ago.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Man changes not, master.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it
+ever comes to that...
+
+[Enter MIRALDA.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I thought Daoud was gone.
+
+DAOUD
+
+Even now I go, gracious lady.
+
+[Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence
+with JOHN and MIRALDA till he goes.
+She goes and retakes herself comfortable
+on the cushions. He is not entirely at ease.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+You had a long talk with Daoud.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, he came and talked a good deal.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What about?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, just talk; you know these Eastern
+people.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I thought it was something you were
+discussing with him.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, no.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Some important secret.
+
+JOHN
+
+No, not at all.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+You often talk with Daoud.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks
+sense I listen, but to-day...
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What did he come for to-day?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, nothing.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+You have a secret with Daoud that you
+will not share with me.
+
+JOHN
+
+No, I have not.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What was it he said?
+
+JOHN
+
+He said there was a king in Babylon who...
+
+[DAOUD slips into the room.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+In Babylon? What has that to do with
+us?
+
+JOHN
+
+Nothing. I told you he was not talking
+sense.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Well, what did he say?
+
+JOHN
+
+He said that in Babylon...
+
+DAOUD
+
+Hist!
+
+JOHN
+
+O, well...
+
+[MIRALDA glares, but calms herself
+and says nothing.
+
+Exit DAOUD.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+What did Daoud say of Babylon?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do
+with us.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+But I wish to hear it.
+
+JOHN
+
+I forget.
+
+[For a moment there is silence.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+John, John. Will you do a little thing for
+me?
+
+JOHN
+
+What is it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Say you will do it, John. I should love to
+have one of my little wishes granted.
+
+JOHN
+
+What is it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill
+Daoud.
+
+JOHN
+
+I will not.
+
+[He walks up and down in front of the
+two Nubians in silence. She plucks
+petulantly at a pillow. She suddenly calms
+herself. A light comes into her eyes. The
+Nubians go on fanning. JOHN goes on
+pacing.]
+
+ MIRALDA
+
+John, John, I have forgotten my foolish
+fancies.
+
+JOHN
+
+I am glad of it.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I do not really wish you to kill Daoud.
+
+JOHN [same voice]
+
+I'm glad you don't.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I have only one fancy now, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, what is it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Give a banquet, John. I want you to give
+a banquet.
+
+JOHN
+
+A banquet? Why?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Is there any harm in my fancy?
+
+JOHN
+
+No.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Then if I may not be a queen, and if you
+will not kill Daoud for me, give a banquet,
+John. There is no harm in a banquet.
+
+JOHN
+
+Very well. When do you want it?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones
+to it, all the illustrious ones in Al Shaldomir.
+
+JOHN
+
+Very well.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+And bid Daoud come.
+
+JOHN
+
+Daoud? You asked me to kill him.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I do not wish that any longer, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+You have queer moods, Miralda.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+May I not change my moods, John?
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't know. I don't understand them.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+Hafiz? Why?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+I don't know, John. It was just my fancy.
+
+JOHN
+
+Your fancy, eh?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+That was all.
+
+JOHN
+
+Then I will ask him. Have you any other
+fancy?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Not now, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+Then go, Miralda.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Go?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why?
+
+JOHN
+
+Because I command it.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Because you command it?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Very well.
+
+[Exit L.
+
+He walks to the door to see that she is
+really gone. He comes back to centre and
+stands with back to audience, pulling a
+cord quietly from his pocket and arranging
+it.
+
+He moves half left and comes up behind
+BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the cord
+over BAZZALOL's head, and tightens it
+round his neck.]
+
+[BAZZALOL flops on his knees.
+
+THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.]
+
+JOHN
+
+Speak!
+
+[BAZZALOL is silent.
+
+JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA
+goes on quietly fanning.]
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+I cannot.
+
+JOHN
+
+If you would speak, raise your left hand.
+If you raise your left hand and do not speak
+you shall die.
+
+[BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens
+more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby
+left hand high. JOHN releases the cord.
+BAZZALOL blinks and moves his mouth.]
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+Gracious Shereef, one visited the great
+lady and gave us gold, saying, "Speak not."
+
+JOHN
+
+When?
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+Great master, one hour since.
+
+JOHN [a little viciously]
+
+Who?
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn.
+
+JOHN
+
+Give me the gold.
+
+[BAZZALOL gives it.]
+
+[To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the
+gold.
+
+THOOTHOOBABA
+
+Master, none gave me gold.
+
+[John touches his dagger, and looks like
+using it.
+
+THOOTHOOBABA gives it.]
+
+JOHN
+
+Take back your gold. Be silent about this.
+You too.
+
+[He throws gold to BAZZALOL.]
+
+Gold does not make you silent, but there is
+a thing that does. What is that thing?
+Speak. What thing makes you silent?
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+O, great master, it is death.
+
+JOHN
+
+Death, eh? And how will you die if you
+speak? You know how you will die?
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+Yes, heaven-sent.
+
+JOHN
+
+Tell your comrade, then.
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+We shall be eaten, great master.
+
+JOHN
+
+You know by what?
+
+BAZZALOL
+
+Small things, great master, small things.
+Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h.
+
+[THOOTHOOBABA's knees scarcely hold
+him.]
+
+JOHN
+
+It is well.
+
+
+Curtain
+
+SCENE 2
+
+A small street. Al Shaldomir.
+
+Time: Next day.
+
+[Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE
+BISHAREENS.
+
+He goes to an old green door, pointed of
+course in the Arabic way.]
+
+SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS
+
+Ho, Bishareens!
+
+[The BISHAREENS run on.]
+
+SHEIK
+
+It is the place and the hour.
+
+BISHAREENS
+
+Ah, ah!
+
+SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN]
+
+Watch.
+
+[FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and
+watches up sunny street.]
+
+FIRST BISHAREEN
+
+He comes.
+
+[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes
+straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.]
+
+SHEIK [turning]
+
+Hear, O Bishareens.
+
+[HAFIZ places flute to his lips.]
+
+A BISHAREEN
+
+And the gold, master?
+
+SHEIK
+
+Silence! It is the signal.
+
+[HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on
+his flute.]
+
+HAFIZ
+
+So.
+
+SHEIK
+
+Master, once more.
+
+[HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.]
+
+SHEIK
+
+Hear, O Bishareens!
+
+[He plays the brief tune again.]
+
+HAFIZ [to SHEIK]
+
+Like that.
+
+SHEIK
+
+We have heard, O master.
+
+[He walks away L. Hands move in
+the direction of knife-hilts.]
+
+THE BISHAREENS
+
+Ah, ah!
+
+[Exit HAFIZ.
+
+He plays a merry little tune on his
+flute as he walks away.]
+
+Curtain
+
+SCENE 3
+
+The banqueting hall. A table along the
+back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with
+notables of Al Shaldomir.
+
+JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA
+on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ EL
+ALCOLAHN.
+
+MIRALDA [to JOHN]
+
+You bade Daoud be present?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+He is not here.
+
+JOHN
+
+Daoud not here?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+No.
+
+JOHN
+
+Why?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+We all obey you, but not Daoud.
+
+JOHN
+
+I do not understand it.
+
+A NOTABLE
+
+The Shereef has frowned.
+
+[Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He
+halts at once and salutes with his sword,
+then takes a side pace to his left, standing
+against the wall, sword at the carry.
+
+JOHN acknowledges salute by touching
+his forehead with the inner tips of his
+fingers.]
+
+OFFICER-AT-ARMS
+
+Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the
+dance-step; march.
+
+[Enter R. some men in single file;
+uniform, pale green silks; swords at carry.
+They advance in single file, in a slightly
+serpentine way, deviating to their left a
+little out of the straight and returning to it,
+stepping neatly on the tips of their toes.
+Their march is fantastic and odd without
+being exactly funny.
+
+ The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their
+ left flank and marches about level with the
+ third or fourth man.
+ When he reaches the centre he gives
+ another word of command.]
+
+OFFICER-AT-ARMS
+
+With reverence: Salute.
+
+[The actor who takes this part should
+have been an officer or N. C. O.
+
+JOHN stands up and acknowledges their
+salute by touching his forehead with the
+fingers of the right hand, palm turned
+inwards.
+
+Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.]
+
+A NOTABLE
+
+He does not smile this evening.
+
+A WOMAN
+
+The Shereef?
+
+NOTABLE
+
+He has not smiled.
+
+[Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with
+brass bowl. He bows. He walks to centre
+opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.]
+
+ZABNOOL
+
+Behold. The bowl is empty.
+
+[ZABNOOL produces a snake.]
+
+ZABNOOL
+
+Ah, little servant of Death.
+
+[He produces flowers.]
+
+Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from
+Nowhere.
+
+[He produces birds.]
+
+Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere.
+Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the little
+empty songs of the land of Nowhere.
+
+[He seats himself on the ground facing
+JOHN. He puts the bowl on the ground.
+He places a piece of silk, with queer
+designs on it over the bowl. He partly
+draws the silk away with his left hand and
+puts in his right. He brings out a young
+crocodile and holds it by the neck.]
+
+CONJURER
+
+Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a
+crocodile.
+
+[He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps
+up the crocodile in some drapery and walks
+away. As he goes he addresses his
+crocodile.]
+
+O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers,
+you sought to evade me in an empty bowl.
+O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the
+Shereef. The Shereef has seen you, O vexer
+of swimmers, O pig in armour, O...
+
+[Exit.
+
+SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes
+on.]
+
+SHABEESH
+
+Bad man, master; he very, very bad man.
+
+[He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly,
+impetus of which carries ZABNOOL to the
+wings.]
+
+Very, very bad man, master.
+
+MIRALDA [reprovingly]
+
+Zabnool has amused us.
+
+SHABEESH
+
+He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get
+crocodile from devil. From devil Poolyana,
+lily lady. Very, very bad.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+He may call on devils if he amuse us,
+Shabeesh.
+
+SHABEESH
+
+But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my
+devil, lily lady. Very, very, very bad. My
+devil Poolyana.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse
+us.
+
+SHABEESH
+
+Shall one devil serve two masters?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why not?
+
+SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's
+hands]
+
+Very bad man go away. Go away, bad
+man: go away, bad man. Poolyana not want
+bad man: Poolyana only work for good man.
+He mighty fine devil. Poolyana, Poolyana.
+Big, black, fine, furry devil. Poolyana,
+Poolyana, Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big
+angry tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana.
+Send me up fine young pig for the Shereef.
+Poolyana, Poolyana. Lil yellow pig with
+curly tail. [Small pig appears.] O
+Poolyana, great Poolyana. Fine black fur and
+grey fur underneath. Fine ferocious devil
+you my devil, Poolyana. O, Poolyana,
+Poolyana, Poolyana. Send me a big beast what
+chew bad man's crocodile. Big beast with
+big teeth, eat him like a worm.
+
+[He has spread large silk handkerchief
+on floor and is edging back from it in
+alarm.]
+
+Long nails in him toes, big like lion,
+Poolyana. Send great smelly big beast--eat
+up bad man's crocodile.
+
+[At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH
+leaps in alarm.]
+
+He come, he come. I see his teeth and
+horns.
+
+[Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor
+under handkerchief.]
+
+O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle
+joke. You laugh at poor conjuring man.
+You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile.
+Bad Poolyana. Bad Poolyana.
+
+[Whacks ground with stick.]
+
+You plenty bad devil, Poolyana.
+
+[Whacking it again. Handkerchief has
+been thrown on ground again.
+Handkerchief stirs slightly.]
+
+No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil.
+You not bad devil. You plenty good devil,
+Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man
+quite happy on muddy earth. No, Poolyana,
+no! O, no, no, devil. O, no, no! Hell plenty
+nice place for devil. Master! He not my
+devil! He other man's devil!
+
+JOHN
+
+What's this noise? What's it about?
+What's the matter?
+
+SHABEESH [in utmost terror]
+
+He coming, master! Coming!
+
+ZABNOOL
+
+Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay
+down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in
+nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want
+no devil to-day.
+
+[ZABNOOL before speaking returns to
+centre and pats air over ground where
+handkerchief lies.
+
+Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOL come
+together side by side and bow and smile
+together toward the SHEREEF. Gold is
+thrown to them, which ZABNOOL gathers
+and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a share
+back to ZABNOOL.]
+
+A NOTABLE
+
+The Shereef is silent.
+
+[Enter three women R. in single file,
+dancing, and carrying baskets full of pink
+rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing
+down rose-leaves, leaving a path of them
+behind them. Exeunt L.]
+
+A NOTABLE
+
+Still he is silent.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why do you not speak?
+
+JOHN
+
+I do not wish to speak.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why?
+
+[Enter OMAR with his zither.]
+
+ OMAR [singing]
+
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir,
+Birds sing thy praises night and day;
+  The nightingale in every wood,
+Blackbirds in fields profound with may;
+Birds sing of thee by every way.
+
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir,
+My heart is ringing with thee still
+Though far away, O fairy fields,
+My soul flies low by every hill
+And misses not one daffodil.
+
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir,
+O mother of my roving dreams
+Blue is the night above thy spires
+And blue by myriads of streams
+Paradise through thy gateway gleams.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+Why do you not wish to speak?
+
+JOHN
+
+You desire me to speak?
+
+MIRALDA
+
+No. They all wonder why you do not
+speak; that is all.
+
+JOHN
+
+I will speak. They shall hear me.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+O, there is no need to.
+
+JOHN
+
+There is a need. [He rises.] People of
+Shaldomir, behold I know your plottings.
+I know the murmurings that you murmur
+against me. When I sleep in my inner
+chamber my ear is in the market, while I sit at
+meat I hear men whisper far hence and know
+their innermost thoughts. Hope not to
+overcome me by your plans nor by any manner of
+craftiness. My gods are gods of brass; none
+have escaped them. They cannot be
+overthrown. Of all men they favour my people.
+Their hands reach out to the uttermost ends
+of the earth. Take heed, for my gods are
+terrible. I am the Shereef; if any dare
+withstand me I will call on my gods and they shall
+crush him utterly. They shall grind him into
+the earth and trample him under, as though
+he had not been. The uttermost parts have
+feared the gods of the English. They reach
+out, they destroy, there is no escape from
+them. Be warned; for I do not permit any
+to stand against me. The laws that I have
+given you, you shall keep; there shall be no
+other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my
+wrath and the wrath of my gods. Take heed,
+I speak not twice. I spoke once to Hussein.
+Hussein heard not; and Hussein is dead, his
+ears are closed for ever. Hear, O people.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+O Shereef, we murmur not against you.
+
+JOHN
+
+I know thoughts and hear whispers. I
+need not instruction, Hafiz.
+
+ HAFIZ
+
+You exalt yourself over us as none did
+aforetime.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been
+Shereef hitherto, but now I will be king. Al
+Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled
+too long over a little country. I will be the
+equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim it.
+The pass is mine; the mountains shall be
+mine also. And he that rules the mountains
+has mastery over all the plains beyond. If
+the men of the plains will not own it let them
+make ready; for my wrath will fall on them
+in the hour when they think me afar, on a
+night when they think I dream. I proclaim
+myself king over...
+
+[HAFIZ pulls out his flute and plays the
+weird, strange tune. JOHN looks at him in
+horrified anger.]
+
+JOHN
+
+The penalty is death! Death is the
+punishment for what you do, Hafiz. You have
+dared while I spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is
+death. Go to Hussein. I, the king...
+say it.
+
+[DAOUD has entered R., bearing two
+oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking
+at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near
+back.
+
+JOHN gives one look at the banqueters,
+then he follows DAOUD. Exit.
+
+All look astonished. Some rise and
+peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.]
+
+OMAR [singing]
+
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir,
+The nightingales that guard thy ways
+Cease not to give thee, after God
+And after Paradise, all praise.
+
+CRIES [off]
+
+Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the
+Christian.
+
+[Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS,
+followed by all his men.]
+
+SHEIK
+
+We are the Bishareens, master.
+
+[MIRALDA standing up, right arm
+akimbo, left arm pointing perfectly straight out
+towards the small door, hand extended.]
+
+MIRALDA
+
+He is there.
+
+[The BISHAREENS run off through the
+little door.]
+
+A NOTABLE
+
+Not to interfere with old ways is wisest.
+
+ANOTHER
+
+Indeed, it would have been well for him.
+
+[The BISHAREENS begin to return
+looking all about them like disappointed
+hounds.]
+
+A BISHAREEN
+
+He is not there, master.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Not there? Not there? Why, there is no
+door beyond. He must needs be there, and
+his chief spy with him.
+
+SHEIK [off]
+
+He is not here.
+
+MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall]
+
+O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him.
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is
+gone.
+
+MIRALDA
+
+When I am weary of a man he must die.
+
+[He embraces her knees.]
+
+ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd
+that followed the BISHAREENS. She is
+blind.]
+
+Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of
+Hafiz. Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead her
+near.] Hafiz! Hafiz!
+
+[She finds his shoulder and tries to drag
+him away.]
+
+HAFIZ
+
+Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of
+the innermost deeps of the sea.
+
+[He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's
+hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.]
+
+Curtain
+
+
+
+
+ACT IV
+
+SCENE 1
+
+Three years elapse.
+
+Scene: The street outside the Acacias.
+
+Time: Evening.
+
+[Ali leans on a pillar-box watching.
+John shuffles on L. He is miserably
+dressed, an Englishman down on his luck.
+A nightingale sings far off.]
+
+JOHN
+
+A nightingale here. Well, I never.
+
+Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir,
+The nightingales that guard thy ways
+Cease not to give thee, after God
+And after Paradise, all praise...
+
+The infernal place! I wish I had never
+seen it! Wonder what set me thinking of
+that?
+
+[The nightingale sings another bar.
+JOHN turns to his left and walks down the
+little path that leads to the door of the
+Acacias.]
+
+I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a
+fine house like this. Mustn't. Mustn't.
+
+[He draws near it reluctantly. He puts
+his hand to the bell and withdraws it.
+Then he rings and snatches his hand away.
+He prepares to run away. Finally he rings
+it repeatedly, feverishly, violently.
+
+Enter LIZA, opening the door.]
+
+LIZA
+
+Ullo, 'Oo's this!
+
+JOHN
+
+I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I
+oughtn't to have rung your bell; but I've
+seen better days, and wondered if--I
+wondered...
+
+LIZA
+
+I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's
+wot I oughtn't. Now I look at you, I
+oughtn't to 'ave opened it. Wot does you
+want?
+
+JOHN
+
+O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must
+come here. I must.
+
+LIZA
+
+Must? Why?
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't know.
+
+LIZA
+
+Wot do you want?
+
+JOHN
+
+Who lives here?
+
+LIZA
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater,
+and Johnstone. What do you want?
+
+JOHN
+
+Could I see Mr. Cater?
+
+LIZA
+
+He's out. Dining at the Mansion House.
+
+ JOHN
+
+Oh.
+
+LIZA
+
+He is.
+
+JOHN
+
+Could I see Mrs. Cater?
+
+LIZA
+
+See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you
+couldn't.
+
+[She prepares to shut the door.]
+
+JOHN
+
+Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut
+me out. If you knew what I'd suffered, if
+you knew what I'd suffered. Don't!
+
+LIZA [coming forward again]
+
+Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to
+eat?
+
+JOHN
+
+No, I've had nothing all day.
+
+LIZA
+
+'Aven't you really now?
+
+JOHN
+
+No. And I get little enough at any time.
+
+LIZA [kindly]
+
+You ought to work.
+
+JOHN
+
+I... I can't. I can't bring myself...
+I've seen better times.
+
+LIZA
+
+Still, you could work.
+
+JOHN
+
+I--I can't grub for halfpennies when I've
+--when I've...
+
+LIZA
+
+When you've what?
+
+JOHN
+
+Lost millions.
+
+LIZA
+
+Millions?
+
+JOHN
+
+I've lost everything.
+
+LIZA
+
+'Ow did you lose it?
+
+JOHN
+
+Through being blind. But never mind,
+never mind. It's all gone now, and I'm
+hungry.
+
+LIZA
+
+'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck?
+
+JOHN
+
+It's three years now.
+
+LIZA
+
+Couldn't get a regular job, like?
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose
+it's my fault, miss. But the heart was out of
+me.
+
+LIZA
+
+Dear me, now.
+
+JOHN
+
+Miss.
+
+LIZA
+
+Yes?
+
+JOHN
+
+You've a kind face...
+
+LIZA
+
+'Ave I?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes. Would you do me a kind turn?
+
+LIZA
+
+Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down
+on yer luck--I don't like to see a man like
+you are, I must say.
+
+JOHN
+
+Would you let me come into the big house
+and speak to the missus a moment?
+
+LIZA
+
+She'd row me awful if I did. This house is
+very respectable.
+
+JOHN
+
+I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck
+might change.
+
+LIZA
+
+But I don't know what she'd say if I did.
+
+JOHN
+
+Miss, I must.
+
+LIZA
+
+I don't know wot she'd say.
+
+JOHN
+
+I must come in, miss, I must.
+
+LIZA
+
+I don't know what she'll say.
+
+JOHN
+
+I must. I can't help myself.
+
+LIZA
+
+I don't know what she'll...
+
+[JOHN is in, door shuts.]
+
+[ALI throws his head up and laughs,
+but quite silently.]
+
+Curtain
+
+SCENE 2
+
+The drawing-room at the Acacias.
+
+A moment later.
+
+The scene is the same as in Act I, except
+that the sofa which was red is now green,
+and the photograph of Aunt Martha is
+replaced by that of a frowning old colonel.
+The ages of the four children in the
+photographs are the same, but their sexes have
+changed.
+
+[MARY reading. Enter LIZA.]
+
+LIZA
+
+There's a gentleman to see you, mum,
+which is, properly speaking, not a gentleman
+at all, but 'e would come in, mum.
+
+MARY
+
+Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza,
+whatever do you mean?
+
+LIZA
+
+'E would come in, mum.
+
+MARY
+
+But what does he want?
+
+LIZA [over shoulder]
+
+What does you want?
+
+JOHN [entering]
+
+I am a beggar.
+
+MARY
+
+O, really? You've no right to be coming
+into houses like this, you know.
+
+JOHN
+
+I know that, madam, I know that. Yet
+somehow I couldn't help myself. I've been
+begging for nearly three years now, and I've
+never done this before, yet somehow to-night
+I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg
+your pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to
+it.
+
+MARY
+
+Hunger?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I'm very hungry, madam.
+
+MARY
+
+Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet
+returned, or perhaps he might...
+
+JOHN
+
+If you could give me a little to eat
+yourself, madam, a bit of stale bread, a crust,
+something that Mr. Cater would not want.
+
+MARY
+
+It's very unusual, coming into a house like
+this and at such an hour--it's past eleven
+o'clock--and Mr. Cater not yet returned.
+Are you really hungry?
+
+JOHN
+
+I'm very, very hungry.
+
+MARY
+
+Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I
+might get you a little something.
+
+[She picks up an empty plate from the
+supper table.]
+
+JOHN
+
+Madam, I do not know how to thank you.
+
+MARY
+
+O, don't mention it.
+
+JOHN
+
+I have not met such kindness for three
+years. I... I'm starving. I've known
+better times.
+
+MARY [kindly]
+
+I'll get you something. You've known
+better times, you say?
+
+JOHN
+
+I had been intended for work in the City.
+And then, then I travelled, and--and I got
+very much taken with foreign countries, and
+I thought--but it all went to pieces. I lost
+everything. Here I am, starving.
+
+MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who
+had lost her gloves]
+
+O, I'm so sorry.
+
+[JOHN sighs deeply.]
+
+MARY
+
+I'll get a nice bit of something to eat.
+
+JOHN
+
+A thousand thanks to you, madam.
+
+[Exit MARY with the plate.]
+
+LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the
+time]
+
+Well, she's going to get you something.
+
+JOHN
+
+Heaven reward her.
+
+LIZA
+
+Hungry as all that?
+
+JOHN
+
+I'm on my beam ends.
+
+LIZA
+
+Cheer up!
+
+JOHN
+
+That's all very well to say, living in a fine
+house, as you are, dry and warm and well-fed.
+But what have I to cheer up about?
+
+LIZA
+
+Isn't there anything you could pop?
+
+JOHN
+
+What?
+
+LIZA
+
+Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop?
+I've tided over times I wanted a bit of cash
+that way sometimes.
+
+JOHN
+
+What could I pawn?
+
+LIZA
+
+Well, well you've a watch-chain.
+
+JOHN
+
+A bit of old leather.
+
+LIZA
+
+But what about the watch?
+
+JOHN
+
+I've no watch.
+
+LIZA
+
+O, funny having a watch-chain then.
+
+JOHN
+
+O, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal.
+
+LIZA
+
+Funny bit of a thing. What's it for?
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't know.
+
+LIZA
+
+Was it give to you?
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't know. I don't know how I got it.
+
+LIZA
+
+Don't know how you got it?
+
+JOHN
+
+No, I can't remember at all. But I've a
+feeling about it, I can't explain what I feel;
+but I don't part with it.
+
+LIZA
+
+Don't you? You might get something on
+it, likely and have a square meal.
+
+JOHN
+
+I won't part with it.
+
+LIZA
+
+Why?
+
+JOHN
+
+I feel I won't. I never have.
+
+LIZA
+
+Feel you won't?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, I have that feeling very strongly.
+I've kept it always. Everything else is gone.
+
+LIZA
+
+Had it long?
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had
+it one morning in a train. It's odd that I
+can't remember.
+
+LIZA
+
+But wot d'yer keep it for?
+
+JOHN
+
+Just for luck.
+
+[LIZA breaks into laughter.]
+
+LIZA
+
+Well, you are funny.
+
+JOHN
+
+I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is funny.
+
+LIZA
+
+You're as down in your luck as ever you
+can be, and you go keeping a thing like that
+for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, what would you do?
+
+LIZA
+
+Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and
+I had rotten luck. Rotten luck I had.
+Rotten.
+
+JOHN
+
+And what did you do?
+
+LIZA
+
+Took it back to the shop.
+
+JOHN
+
+Yes?
+
+LIZA
+
+They was quite obliging about it. Gave
+me a wooden one instead, what was
+guaranteed. Luck changed very soon altogether.
+
+JOHN
+
+Could luck like mine change?
+
+LIZA
+
+Course it could.
+
+JOHN
+
+Look at me.
+
+LIZA
+
+You'll be all right one of these days. Give
+me that mascot.
+
+JOHN
+
+I--I hardly like to. One has an awfully
+strong feeling with it.
+
+LIZA
+
+Give it to me. It's no good.
+
+JOHN
+
+I--I don't like to.
+
+LIZA
+
+You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing
+you no good. I know all about them mascots.
+Give it me.
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, I'll give it you. You're the
+first woman that's been kind to me since
+... I'm on my beam ends.
+
+[Face in hands--tears.]
+
+LIZA
+
+There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am.
+These mascots! One's better without 'em.
+Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a
+nice supper coming.
+
+[She puts it in a corner of the
+mantelpiece and hammers it. It smashes.
+
+The photographs of the four children
+change slightly. The Colonel gives place
+to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red.
+JOHN's clothes become neat and tidy. The
+hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather
+duster. Nothing else changes.]
+
+A VOICE [off, in agony]
+
+Allah! Allah! Allah!
+
+LIZA
+
+Some foreign gentleman must have hurt
+himself.
+
+JOHN
+
+H'm. Sounds like it... Liza.
+
+[LIZA, dusting the photographs on the
+wall, just behind the corner of the
+mantelpiece.]
+
+LIZA
+
+Funny. Thought I--thought I 'ad a
+hammer in my hand.
+
+JOHN
+
+Really, Liza, I often think you have. You
+really should be more careful. Only--only
+yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's
+photograph.
+
+LIZA
+
+Thought it was a hammer.
+
+JOHN
+
+Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a
+mistake you make too often, Liza. You--you
+must be more careful.
+
+LIZA
+
+Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad
+an 'ammer in my 'and, though.
+
+[She goes to tidy the little supper table.
+Enter MARY with food on a plate.]
+
+MARY
+
+I've brought you your supper, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+Thanks, Mary. I--I think I must have
+taken a nap.
+
+MARY
+
+Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along
+to bed now, Liza. Good gracious, it's
+half-past eleven.
+
+[MARY makes final arrangements of
+supper table.]
+
+LIZA
+
+Thank you, mum.
+
+[Exit ]
+
+JOHN
+
+Mary.
+
+MARY
+
+Yes, John.
+
+JOHN
+
+I--I thought I'd caught that train.
+
+Curtain
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of If, by 
+Lord Dunsany [Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron]
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1311 ***