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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/1311-0.txt b/1311-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3cd852a --- /dev/null +++ b/1311-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7355 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1311 *** + +If + +By Lord Dunsany + +[Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + + JOHN BEAL + MARY BEAL + LIZA + ALI + BERT, BILL: two railway porters + THE MAN IN THE CORNER + MIRALDA CLEMENT + HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN + DAOUD + ARCHIE BEAL + BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers + BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass + ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers + OMAR, a singer + ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz + THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + + Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc. + + + + +IF + + + + +ACT I + +SCENE 1 + +A small railway station near London. +Time: Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why? What's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + + +BERT + +Why, wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was dangerous. +Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why. The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. +They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and +I'll... + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule. And they'll 'ave to abide by it. + +BERT + +Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if... + +BILL + +I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me +on the mat again and talk all that stuff to +me. No, if someone 'as to suffer... +'Ere she is. + +[Noise of approaching train heard.] + +BERT + +Ay, that's her. + +BILL + +And shut goes the door. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BERT + +Wait a moment, Bill. + +BILL + +Not if he's... Not if he was ever so. + +JOHN [preparing to pass] + +Good morning.... + +BILL + +Can't come through. Too late. + +JOHN + +Too late? Why, the train's only just in. + +BILL + +Don't care. It's the rule. + +JOHN + +O, nonsense. [He carries on.] + +BILL + +It's too late. I tell you you can't come. + +JOHN + +But that's absurd. I want to catch my +train. + +BILL + +It's too late. + +BERT + +Let him go, Bill. + +BILL + +I'm blowed if I let him go. + +JOHN + +I want to catch my train. + +[JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed +back by the face. JOHN advances towards +BILL looking like fighting. The train has +gone.] + +BILL + +Only doing my duty. + +[JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding +it isn't good enough. He shrugs his +shoulders, turns round and goes away.] + +JOHN + +I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even +with you one of these days, you..... and +some way you won't expect. + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +Yesterday evening. + +[Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in +their suburban home.] + +JOHN + +I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to +plant an acacia? + +MARY + +An acacia, what's that, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's one of those trees that they have. + +MARY + +But why, John? + +JOHN + +Well, you see the house is called The Acacias, +and it seems rather silly not to have at +least one. + +MARY + +O, I don't think that matters. Lots of +places are called lots of things. Everyone +does. + +JOHN + +Yes, but it might help the postman. + +MARY + +O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't +know an acacia if he saw it any more than I +should. + +JOHN + +Quite right, Mary, you're always right. +What a clever head you've got! + +MARY + +Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if +you like. I'll ask about it at the grocer's. + +JOHN + +You can't get one there. + +MARY + +No, but he's sure to know where it can be +got. + +JOHN + +Where do they grow, Mary? + +MARY + +I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, +somewhere. + +JOHN + +Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish +I could have gone abroad for a week or so to +places like where acacias grow naturally. + +MARY + +O, would you really, John? + +JOHN + +No, not really. But I just think of it +sometimes. + +MARY + +Where would you have gone? + +JOHN + +O, I don't know. The East or some such +place. I've often heard people speak of it, +and somehow it seemed so... + +MARY + +The East, John? Not the East. I don't +think the East somehow is quite respectable. + +JOHN + +O well, it's all right, I never went, and +never shall go now. It doesn't matter. + +MARY [the photographs catching her eye] + +O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dreadful +thing happened. + +JOHN + +What, Mary? + +MARY + +Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, +and when she came to Jane's she says she +hadn't really begun to dust it, only looked at +it, and it fell down, and that bit of glass is +broken right out of it. + +JOHN + +Ask her not to look at it so hard another +time. + +MARY + +O, what do you mean, John? + +JOHN + +Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, +and as I know you believe in Liza... + +MARY + +Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. But she mustn't look +so hard another time. + +MARY + +And it's poor little Jane's photograph. +She will feel it so. + +JOHN + +O, that's all right, we'll get it mended. + +MARY + +Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. + +JOHN + +We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy +about it she can have Alice's frame. Alice +is too young to notice it. + +MARY + +She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. + +JOHN + +Well, George, then. + +MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] + +Well, perhaps George might give up his +frame. + +JOHN + +Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make +her do it now? + +MARY + +Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. +She shall do it to-morrow by the time you get +back from the office. + +JOHN + +All right. It might have been worse. + +MARY + +It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. + +JOHN + +It might have been worse. It might have +been Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'd sooner it had been her than poor little +Jane. + +JOHN + +If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph +she'd have walked in next day and seen it for +certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd +have been trouble. + +MARY + +But, John, how could she have known? + +JOHN + +I don't know, but she would have; it's a +kind of devilish sense she has. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +What's the matter? + +MARY + +John! What a dreadful word you used. +And on a Sunday too! Really! + +JOHN + +O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. +I'm very sorry. + +[Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which +isn't, properly speaking, a gentleman at all. +Not what I should call one, that is, like. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! +Whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +He's black. + +MARY + +Black? + +JOHN [reassuring] + +O... yes, that would be Ali. A queer +old customer, Mary; perfectly harmless. Our +firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; +and then one day... + +MARY + +But what is he doing here, John? + +JOHN + +Well, one day he turned up in London; +broke, he said; and wanted the firm to give +him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for +giving him ten shillings. But I said "here's +a man that's helped us in making thousands +of pounds. Let's give him fifty." + +MARY + +Fifty pounds! + +JOHN + +Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. +Ten shillings would have been an insult to +the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. +You don't know what he'd have done. + +MARY + +Well, he doesn't want more? + +JOHN + +No, I expect he's come to thank me. He +seemed pretty keen on getting some cash. +Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was +doing in London. Never can tell with these +fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it. + +MARY + +How did he trace you here? + +JOHN + +O, got the address at the office. Briggs +and Cater won't let theirs be known. Not +got such a smart little house, I expect. + +MARY + +I don't like letting people in that you don't +know where they come from. + +JOHN + +O, he comes from the East. + +MARY + +Yes, I--I know. But the East doesn't seem +quite to count, somehow, as the proper sort of +place to come from, does it, dear? + +JOHN + +No. + +MARY + +It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some +place you can put your finger on. + +JOHN + +Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's +any harm in him. + +MARY + +Well, just for once. But we can't make a +practice of it. And you don't want to be +thinking of business on a Sunday, your only +day off. + +JOHN + +O, it isn't business, you know. He only +wants to say thank you. + +MARY + +I hope he won't say it in some queer +Eastern way. You don't know what these +people.... + +JOHN + +O, no. Show him up, Liza. + +LIZA + +As you like, mum. +[Exit.] + +MARY + +And you gave him fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose +that's what he got. Cater paid him. + +MARY + +It seems a lot of money. But I think, as +the man is actually coming up the stairs, +I'm glad he's got something to be grateful +for. + +[Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] + +ALI + +Protector of the Just. + +JOHN + +O, er--yes. Good evening. + +ALI + +My soul was parched and you bathed it +in rivers of gold. + +JOHN + +O, ah, yes. + +ALI + +Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal +shall be magnified and called blessed. + +JOHN + +Ha, yes. Very good of you. + +ALI [advancing, handing trinket] + +Protector of the Just, my offering. + +JOHN + +Your offering? + +ALI + +Hush. It is beyond price. I am not +bidden to sell it. I was in my extremity, but +I was not bidden to sell it. It is a token of +gratitude, a gift, as it came to me. + +JOHN + +As it came to you? + + +ALI + +Yes, it was given me. + +JOHN + +I see. Then you had given somebody what +you call rivers of gold? + +ALI + +Not gold; it was in Sahara. + +JOHN + +O, and what do you give in the Sahara +instead of gold? + +ALI + +Water. + +JOHN + +I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +And--and what happened? + +MARY + +I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. +It's a nice little thing, but [to ALI], but you +think a lot of it, don't you? + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +But look here, what does it do? + +ALI + +Much. + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +ALI + +He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, +at night, and wishes, saying "At a certain +hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will +go back eight, ten, even twelve years if he +will, into the past, and do a thing again, or +act otherwise than he did. The day passes; +the ten years are accomplished once again; he +is here once more; but he is what he might +have become had he done that one thing +otherwise. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +I--I don't understand. + +ALI + +To-night you wish. All to-morrow you +live the last ten years; a new way, master, a +new way, how you please. To-morrow night +you are here, what those years have made you. + +JOHN + +By Jove! + +MARY + +Have nothing to do with it, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, +do you mean one could go back ten years? + + +ALI + +Even so. + + +JOHN + +Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word +for it. But look here, you can't live ten years +in a day, you know. + +ALI + +My master has power over time. + +MARY + +John, don't have anything to do with him. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. But who is your master? + +ALI + +He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in +the greenest mountains. The years are his +dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard +it safely, for his power is in this more than +in all the peaks of his native hills. See what +I give you, master. + +JOHN + +Well, really, it's very good of you. + +MARY + +Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much +obliged for your kind offer, which we are so +sorry we can't avail ourselves of. + +JOHN + +One moment, Mary. Do you mean that +I can go back ten years, and live till--till now +again, and only be away a day? + +ALI + +Start early and you will be here before +midnight. + +JOHN + +Would eight o'clock do! + +ALI + +You could be back by eleven that evening. + +JOHN + +I don't quite see how ten years could go +in a single day. + +ALI + +They will go as dreams go. + +JOHN + +Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't +it? + +ALI + +Time is the slave of my master + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm +only trying to see what he'll say. + +MARY + +All right, John, only... + +ALI + +Is there no step that you would wish +untrodden, nor stride that you would make +where once you faltered? + +JOHN + +I say, why don't you use it yourself? + +ALI + +I? I am afraid of the past. But you +Engleesh, and the great firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Beal; you are afraid of nothing. + +JOHN + +Ha, ha. Well--I wouldn't go quite as far +as that, but--well, give me the crystal. + +MARY + +Don't take it, John! Don't take it. + +JOHN + +Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. + +MARY + +If it can do all that--if it can do all that... + +JOHN + +Well? + +MARY + +Why, you might never have met me. + +JOHN + +Never have met you? I never thought of +that. + +MARY + +Leave the past alone, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I +want to hear about it, it's so odd, it's so +what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I +ever----- [To ALI.] You mean if I work +hard for ten years, which will only be all +to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank +of England to-morrow night. + +ALI + +Even so. + +MARY + +O, don't do it, John. + +JOHN + +But you said--I'll be back here before +midnight to-morrow. + +ALI + +It is so. + +JOHN + +But the Governor of the Bank of England +would live in the City, and he'd have a much +bigger house anyway. He wouldn't live in +Lewisham. + +ALI + +The crystal will bring you to this house +when the hour is accomplished, even +tomorrow night. If you be the great banker +you will perhaps come to chastise one of your +slaves who will dwell in this house. If you +be head of Briggs and Cater you will come to +give an edict to one of your firm. Perchance +this street will be yours and you will come to +show your power unto it. But you will come. + +JOHN + +And if the house is not mine? + +MARY + +John! John! Don't. + +ALI + +Still you will come. + +JOHN + +Shall I remember? + +ALI + +No. + +JOHN + +If I want to do anything different to what +I did, how shall I remember when I get back +there? + +MARY + +Don't. Don't do anything different, John. + +JOHN + +All right. + +ALI + +Choose just before the hour of the step +you desire to change. Memory lingers a little +at first, and fades away slowly. + +JOHN + +Five minutes? + +ALI + +Even ten. + +JOHN + +Then I can change one thing. After that I +forget. + +ALI + +Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. + +JOHN + +Well, it's very good of you to make me this +nice present, I'm sure. + +ALI + +Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart +impels. So shall it come back one day to the +hills that are brighter than grass, made richer +by the gratitude of many men. And my +master shall smile thereat and the vale shall +be glad. + +JOHN + +It's very good of you, I'm sure. + +MARY + +I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering +with what's gone. + +ALI + +My master's power is in your hands. +Farewell. + +[Exit.] + +JOHN + +I say, he's gone. + +MARY + +O, he's a dreadful man. + +JOHN + +I never really meant to take it. + +MARY + +O, John, I wish you hadn't + +JOHN + +Why? I'm not going to use it. + +MARY + +Not going to use it, John? + +JOHN + +No, no. Not if you don't want me to. + +MARY + +O, I'm so glad. + +JOHN + +And besides, I don't want things different. +I've got fond of this little house. And Briggs +is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit +of an ass, but there's no harm in him. In +fact, I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even +change Aunt Martha now. + +[Points at frowning framed photograph +centrally hung.] + +You remember when she first came and +you said "Where shall we hang her?" I said +the cellar. You said we couldn't. So she had +to go there. But I wouldn't change her now. +I suppose there are old watch-dogs like her in +every family. I wouldn't change anything. + +MARY + +O, John, wouldn't you really? + +JOHN + +No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I +wouldn't even change Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. +I couldn't bear to tamper with the past. +You don't know what it is, it's what's gone. +But if it really isn't gone at all, if it can be dug +up like that, why you don't know what +mightn't happen! I don't mind the future, +but if the past can come back like that.... +O, don't, don't, John. Don't think of it. +It isn't canny. There's the children, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little +ornament. I won't use it. And I tell you +I'm content. [Happily] It's no use to me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you +really? Is there nothing that you'd have had +different? I sometimes thought you'd rather +that Jane had been a boy. + +JOHN + +Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the +time, but Arthur's good enough for me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever +regret at all? + +JOHN + +Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you +regret, Mary? + +MARY + +Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would +have been better green, but you would have +it red. + +JOHN + +Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I +regret. + +MARY + +I don't suppose there's many men can say +that. + +JOHN + +No, I don't suppose they can. They're +not all married to you. I don't suppose +many of them can. + +[MARY smiles.] + +MARY + +I should think that very few could say +that they regretted nothing... very few +in the whole world. + +JOHN + +Well, I won't say nothing. + +MARY + +What is it you regret, John? + +JOHN + +Well, there is one thing. + +MARY + +And what is that? + +JOHN + +One thing has rankled a bit. + +MARY + +Yes, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth +mentioning. But it rankled for years. + +MARY + +What was it, John? + +JOHN + +O, it seems silly to mention it. It was +nothing. + +MARY + +But what? + +JOHN + +O, well, if you want to know, it was once +when I missed a train. I don't mind missing +a train, but it was the way the porter pushed +me out of the way. He pushed me by the +face. I couldn't hit back, because, well, you +know what lawyers make of it; I might have +been ruined. So it just rankled. It was years +ago before we married. + +MARY + +Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! + +JOHN + +Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in +spite of him. I sometimes think of it still. +Silly of me, isn't it? + +MARY + +What a brute of a man. + +JOHN + +O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. +But it rankled. + +MARY + +He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd +no right to touch you! + +JOHN + +O, well, never mind. + +MARY + +I should like to have been there... +I'd have... + +JOHN + +O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd +like to have caught it in sp... +[An idea seizes him.] + +MARY + +What is it? + +JOHN + +Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing +that can be helped. + +MARY + +Can be helped, John? Whatever do you +mean? + +JOHN + +I mean he'd no right to stop me catching +that train. I've got the crystal, and I'll +catch it yet! + +MARY + +O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't +do. + +JOHN + +No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. +And I won't. I'm too content, Mary. But +this can't alter it. This is nothing. + +MARY + +What were you going to catch the train +for, John? + +JOHN + +For London. I wasn't at the office then. +It was a business appointment. There was a +man who had promised to get me a job, and +I was going up to... + +MARY + +John, it may alter your whole life! + +JOHN + +Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never +turned up. I got a letter from him apologising +to me before I posted mine to him. It +turned out he never meant to help me, mere +meaningless affabilities. He never came to +London that day at all. I should have taken +the next train back. That can't affect the +future. + +MARY + +N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. + +JOHN + +What difference could it make? + +MARY + +N-n-no. + +JOHN + +Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's +wedding. I take it one has to go to one's +brother's wedding. It would take a pretty +big change to alter that. And. you were her +bridesmaid. We were bound to meet. And +having once met, well, there you are. If we'd +met by chance, in a train, or anything like +that, well, then I admit some little change +might alter it. But when we met at ARCHIE's +wedding and you were her bridesmaid, why, +Mary, it's a cert. Besides, I believe in +predestination. It was our fate; we couldn't +have missed it. + +MARY + +No, I suppose not; still.. + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +MARY + +I don't like it. + +JOHN + +O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that +infernal train. Just think of it, annoyed on +and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen. + +MARY + +I'd rather you didn't, John. + +JOHN + +But why? + +MARY + +O, John, suppose there's a railway +accident? You might be killed, and we should +never meet. + +JOHN + +There wasn't. + +MARY + +There wasn't, John? What do you mean? + +JOHN + +There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen. +It got safely to London just ten years ago. + +MARY + +Why, nor there was. + +JOHN + +You see how groundless your fears are. +I shall catch that train, and all the rest will +happen the same as before. Just think +Mary, all those old days again. I wish I +could take you with me. But you soon will +be. But just think of the old days coming +back again. Hampton Court again and Kew, +and Richmond Park again with all the May. +And that bun you bought, and the corked +ginger-beer, and those birds singing and the +'bus past Isleworth. O, Mary, you wouldn't +grudge me that? + +MARY + +Well, well then all right, John. + +JOHN + +And you will remember there wasn't an +accident, won't you? + +MARY [resignedly, sadly] + +O, yes, John. And you won't try to get +rich or do anything silly, will you? + +JOHN + +No, Mary. I only want to catch that +train. I'm content with the rest. The same +things must happen, and they must lead me +the same way, to you, Mary. Good night, +now, dear. + +MARY + +Good night? + +JOHN + +I shall stay here on the sofa holding the +crystal and thinking. Then I'll have a +biscuit and start at seven. + +MARY + +Thinking, John? What about? + +JOHN + +Getting it clear in my mind what I want +to do. That one thing and the rest the same. +There must be no mistakes. + +MARY [sadly] + +Good night, John. + +JOHN + +Have supper ready at eleven. + +MARY + +Very well, John. +[Exit.] + +JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] + +I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. + +[He takes the crystal and closes it up in +the palm of his left hand.] + +I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and +a day, at, at--8.10 a.m. to-morrow; 8.10 a.m. +to-morrow, 8.10. + +[Re-enter MARY in doorway.] + +MARY + +John! John! You are sure he did get +his fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the +money? + +MARY + +You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? + +JOHN + +Cater paid him, I didn't. + +MARY + +Are you sure that Cater didn't give him +ten shillings? + +JOHN + +It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have +done! + +MARY + +O, John! + +JOHN + +Hmm. + + +Curtain + + + +SCENE 3 + +Scene: As in Act I, Scene 1. +Time. Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why, what's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up, then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + +BERT + +Why? Wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was dangerous. +Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT? + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why? The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the +company. They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and I'll... + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule, and they'll have to abide by it. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BILL [touching his hat] +Good morning, sir. + +[JOHN does not answer, but walks to the +door between them.] + +Carry your bag, sir? + +JOHN + +Go to hell! + +[Exit through door.] + +BILL + +Ullo. + +BERT + +Somebody's been getting at 'im. + +BILL + +Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young +feller. + +BERT + +Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule? + +BILL + +Never knew 'im like this. + +BERT + +You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave +yer? + +BILL + +Never in my life. + +BERT + +Well, I never. + +BILL + +'Ad some trouble o' some kind. + +BERT + +Must 'ave. + +[Train is heard.] + +BILL + +Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying... + +Curtain + +SCENE 4 + +In a second-class railway carriage. + +Time: Same morning as Scene 1, Act I. + +Noise, and a scene drawn past the +windows. The scene, showing a +momentary glimpse of fair English hills, is +almost entirely placards, "GIVE HER +BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," +alternately, for ever. + +Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man. + +All sit in stoical silence like the two +images near Luxor. The man has the +window seat, and therefore the right of +control over the window. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having the window open? + +THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his +shoulders in a shivery way] + +Er--certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. +He opens the window.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Thank you so much. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict +her. Stoical silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having it shut now? I +think it is rather cold. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Certainly. + +[He shuts it. Silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +I think I'd like the window open again now +for a bit. It is rather stuffy, isn't it? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Well, I think it's very cold. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +O, do you? But would you mind opening +it for me? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't +mind. + +[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and +her pretty face expresses the resignation of +the Christian martyr in the presence of +lions. This for the benefit of John.] + +JOHN + +Allow me, madam. + +[He leans across the window's rightful +owner, a bigger man than he, and opens his +window. + +MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders +and, quite sensibly, turns to his paper.] + +MIRALDA + +O, thank you so much. + +JOHN + +Don't mention it. + +[Silence again.] + +VOICES OF PORTERS [Off] + +Fan Kar, Fan Kar. + +[MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.] + +MIRALDA + +Could you tell me where this is? + +JOHN + +Yes. Elephant and Castle. + +MIRALDA + +Thank you so much. It was kind of you to +protect me from that horrid man. He wanted +to suffocate me. + +JOHN + +O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very +glad. + +MIRALDA + +I should have been afraid to have done it in +spite of him. It was splendid of you. + +JOHN + +O, that was nothing. + +MIRALDA + +O, it was, really. + +JOHN + +Only too glad to help you in any little way. + +MIRALDA + +It was so kind of you. + +JOHN + +O, not at all. + +[Silence for a bit.] + +MIRALDA + +I've nobody to help me. + +JOHN + +Er, er, haven't you really? + +MIRALDA + +No, nobody. + +JOHN + +I'd be very glad to help you in any little +way. + +MIRALDA + +I wonder if you could advise me. + +JOHN + +I--I'd do my best. + +MIRALDA + +You see, I have nobody to advise me. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. + +MIRALDA + +I live with my aunt, and she doesn't +understand. I've no father or mother. + +JOHN + +O, er, er, really? + +MIRALDA + +No. And an uncle died and he left me a +hundred thousand pounds. + +JOHN + +Really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it +out of contrariness as much as anything. +He was always like that to me. + +JOHN + +Was he? Was he really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per +cent. He never liked me. Thought I was +too--I don't know what. + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +That was five years ago, and I've never got +a penny of it. + +JOHN + +Really. But, but that's not right. + +MIRALDA [sadly] + +No. + +JOHN + +Where's it invested? + +MIRALDA + +In Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Where's that? + +MIRALDA + +I don't quite know. I never was good at +geography. I never quite knew where Persia +ends. + +JOHN + +And what kind of an investment was it? + +MIRALDA + +There's a pass in some mountains that they +can get camels over, and a huge toll is levied +on everything that goes by; that is the custom +of the tribe that lives there, and I believe +the toll is regularly collected. + +JOHN + +And who gets it? + +MIRALDA + +The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben +Hussein. But my uncle lent him all this +money, and the toll on the camels was what +they call the security. They always carry +gold and turquoise, you know. + +JOHN + +Do they? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, they get it from the rivers. + +JOHN + +I see. + +MIRALDA + +It does seem a shame his not paying, +doesn't it? + +JOHN + +A shame? I should think it is. An awful +shame. Why, it's a crying shame. He ought +to go to prison. + +MIRALDA + +Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard +to find him. It isn't as if it was this side of +Persia. It's being on the other side that is +such a pity. If only it was in a country like, +like... + +JOHN + +I'd soon find him. I'd... Why, a man +like that deserves anything. + +MIRALDA + +It is good of you to say that. + +JOHN + +Why, I'd... And you say you never +got a penny? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Well, that is a shame. I call that a +downright shame. + +MIRALDA + +Now, what ought I to do? + +JOHN + +Do? Well, now, you know in business +there's nothing like being on the spot. When +you're on the spot you can--but then, of +course, it's so far. + +MIRALDA + +It is, isn't it? + +JOHN + +Still, I think you should go if you could. +If only I could offer to help you in any way, +I would gladly, but of course... + +MIRALDA + +What would you do? + +JOHN + +I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and +then... + +MIRALDA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and +make him see that you didn't keep all that +money that belonged to someone else. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? + +JOHN + +Nothing would please me better. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? Would you go all that +way? + +JOHN + +It's just the sort of thing that I should like, +apart from the crying shame. The man +ought to be... + +MIRALDA + +We're getting into Holborn. Would you +come and lunch somewhere with me and talk +it over? + +JOHN + +Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to +see a man on business first. I've come up to +see him. And then after that, after that +there was something I wanted to do after that. +I can't think what it was. But something I +wanted to do after that. O, heavens, what +was it? + +[Pause.] + +MIRALDA + +Can't you think? + +JOHN + +No. O, well, it can't have been so very +important. And yet... Well, where shall +we lunch? + +MIRALDA + +Gratzenheim's. + +JOHN + +Right. What time? + +MIRALDA + +One-thirty. Would that suit? + +JOHN + +Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like +Hussein in prison. I'd like... O, I beg your +pardon. + +[He hurries to open the door. Exit +MIRALDA.] + +Now what was it I wanted to do +afterwards? + +[Throws hand to forehead.] +O, never mind. + +Curtain + + + + +ACT II + +SCENE + +JOHN's tent in Al Shaldomir. There +are two heaps of idols, left and right, lying +upon the ground inside the tent. DAOUD +carries another idol in his arms. JOHN +looks at its face. + +Six months have elapsed since the scene +in the second-class railway carriage. + +JOHN BEAL + +This god is holy. + +[He points to the left heap. DAOUD +carries it there and lays it on the heap.] + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You are in no wise to call me great master. +Have not I said so? I am not your master. +I am helping you people. I know better than +you what you ought to do, because I am +English. But that's all. I'm not your master, +See? + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, go and get some more idols. Hurry. + +DAOUD + +Great master, I go. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't make these people out. + +DAOUD [returning] + +I have three gods. + +JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to +the two smaller idols first] +These two are holy. This one is unholy. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Put them on the heap. + +[DAOUD does so, two left, one right.] + +Get some more. + +[DAOUD salaams. Exit.] + +[Looking at right heap.] What a--what a +filthy people + +[Enter DAOUD with two idols.] + +JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny] + +This god is holy, this is unholy. + +[Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bowler" +hat.] + +Why, ARCHIE, this is splendid of you! +You've come! Why, that's splendid! All +that way! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's grand of you to come! I never +ought to have asked it of you, only... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But what in the world +are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's splendid of you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all +this? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, this. Well, well they're the very oddest +people here. It's a long story. But I wanted +to tell you first how enormously grateful I +am to you for coming. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But I want to know +what you're doing with all these genuine +antiques. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, ARCHIE, the fact of it is they're a real +odd lot of people here. I've learnt their +language, more or less, but I don't think I quite +understand them yet. A lot of them are +Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed, +you know. He's dead. But a lot of them +worship these things, and... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what have you got 'em all in here +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with +them, but, well, I simply had to. You see +there's two sorts of idols here; they offer +fruit and rats to some of them; they lay them +on their hands or their laps. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why do they offer them rats? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. They don't know either. +It's the right thing to do out here, it's been +the right thing for hundreds of years; nobody +exactly knows why. It's like the bows we +have on evening shoes, or anything else. +But it's all right. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are you putting them in heaps +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because there's the other kind, the ones +with wide mouths and rust round them. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they +do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They offer blood to them, ARCHIE. They +pour it down their throats. Sometimes they +kill people, sometimes they only bleed them. +It depends how much blood the idol wants. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +How much blood it wants? Good Lord! +How do they know? + +JOHN BEAL + +The priests tell them. Sometimes they +fill them up to their necks--they're all hollow, +you know. In spring it's awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why are they worse in spring? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know. The priests ask for more +blood then. Much more. They say it always +was so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're stopping it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm +letting them worship those. Of course, it's +idolatry and all that kind of thing, but I +don't like interfering short of actual murder. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And they're obeying you? + +JOHN BEAL + +'M, y-yes. I think so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You must have got a great hold over them. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know about that. It's the +pass that counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +The pass? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that place you came over. It's the +only way anyone can get here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass +affect these idols? + +JOHN BEAL + +It affects everything here. If that pass +were closed no living man would ever enter +or leave, or even hear of, this country. It's +absolutely cut off except for that one pass. +Why, ARCHIE, it isn't even on the map. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I know. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody. +No one else counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And who does own it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called +Hussein, but Miss Clement's uncle, a man +called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer, +seems to have come this way; and I think he +understood what this pass is worth. +Anyhow, he lent Hussein a big sum of money and +got an acknowledgment from Hussein. Old +Hinnard must have been a wonderfully +shrewd man. For that acknowledgment is +no more legal than an I.O.U., and Hussein +is simply a brigand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Not very good security. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself +respects that piece of parchment he signed. +There's the name of some god or other written +on it Hussein is frightened of. Now you +see how things are. That pass is as holy as +all the gods that there are in Al Shaldomir. +Hussein possesses it. But he owes an +enormous sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am +here as her agent; and you've come to help +me like a great sportsman. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, never mind that. Well, it all seems +pretty simple. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, ARCHIE. Hussein +admits the debt, but... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what he'll do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Wants watching, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of +responsible for all these silly people. +Somebody's got to look after them. Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Bring in some more gods. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't get them to stop calling me absurd +titles. They're so infernally Oriental. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's got two big ones this time. + +JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE] + +You see, there is rust about their mouths. +[To DAOUD]: They are both unholy. + +[He points to R. heap, and DAOUD +puts them there. To DAOUD.] + +Bring in some more. + +DAOUD + +Great master, there are no more gods in +Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN BEAL + +It is well. + +DAOUD + +What orders, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Listen. At night you shall come and take +these gods away. These shall be worshipped +again in their own place, these you shall cast +into the great river and tell no man where you +cast them. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will do this, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am sorry to make you do it. You are +sad that you have to do it. Yet it must be +done. + +DAOUD + +Yes, I am sad, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why are you sad, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Great master, in times you do not know +these gods were holy. In times you have not +guessed. In old centuries, master, perhaps +before the pass. Men have prayed to them, +sorrowed before them, given offerings to +them. The light of old hearths has shone on +them, flames from old battles. The shadow +of the mountains has fallen on them, so +many times, master, so many times. Dawn +and sunset have shone on them, master, like +firelight flickering; dawn and sunset, dawn +and sunset, flicker, flicker, flicker for century +after century. They have sat there watching +the dawns like old men by the fire. They are +so old, master, so old. And some day dawn +and sunset will die away and shine on the +world no more, and they would have still +sat on in the cold. And now they go... +They are our history, master, they are our old +times. Though they be bad times they are +our times, master; and now they go. I am +sad, master, when the old gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they are bad gods, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +I am sad when the bad gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +They must go, Daoud. See, there is no +one watching. Take them now. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +[He takes up the largest of the gods with +rust.] + +Come, Aho-oomlah, thou shalt not drink +Nideesh. + +JOHN BEAL + +Was Nideesh to have been sacrificed? + +DAOUD + +He was to have been drunk by Aho-oomlah. + +JOHN BEAL + +Nideesh. Who is he? + +DAOUD + +He is my son. + +[Exit with Aho-oomlah. +JOHN BEAL almost gasps.] + +ARCHIE BEAL [who has been looking round +the tent] + +What has he been saying? + +JOHN BEAL + +They're--they're a strange people. I +can't make them out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Is that the heap that oughtn't to be +worshipped? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, do you know, I'm going to chuck this +hat there. It doesn't seem to me somehow to +be any more right here than those idols would +be at home. Odd isn't it? Here goes. + +[He throws hat on right heap of idols. JOHN +BEAL does not smile.] + +Why, what's the matter? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't like to see a decent Christian hat +among these filthy idols. They've all got +rust on their mouths. I don't like to see +it, Archie; it's sort of like what they call +an omen. I don't like it. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Do they keep malaria here? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't think so. Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Then what's the matter, Johnny? Your nerves +are bad. + +JOHN BEAL + +You don't know these people, and I've brought +you out here. I feel kind of responsible. +If Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't +know what he'd do, with all those idols and +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He'll give 'em a drink, you mean. + +JOHN BEAL + +Don't, ARCHIE. There's no saying. And I +feel responsible for you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, they can have my hat. It looks +silly, somehow. I don't know why. What +are we going to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, now that you've come we can go +ahead. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Righto. What at? + +JOHN BEAL + +We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and +get everything clear in black and white, and +see just what he owes to Miss Miralda +Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But they don't keep accounts here. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you know? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, of course they don't. One can see +that. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they must. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, you haven't changed a bit for your +six months here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Haven't changed? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. Just quietly thinking of business. +You'll be a great business man, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we must do business; that's what I +came here for. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You'll never make these people do it. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, what do you suggest? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Let's have a look at old Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's what I have been waiting for. +Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Master. [Enters.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass +and beat on the outer door. Say that I +desire to see him. Pray him to come to my +tent. + +[DAOUD bows and Exit.] + +[To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace +to ask Hussein to come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lives in a palace, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place. +It's bigger than the Mansion House, much. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're going to teach him to keep +accounts. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems +almost like being rude to the Lord Mayor. +But there's two things I can't stand--cheating +in business is one and murder's another. +I've got to interfere. You see, if one happens +to know the right from wrong as we do, we've +simply got to tell people who don't. But +it isn't pleasant. I almost wish I'd never +come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, it's the greatest sport in the world. +It's splendid. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see it that way. To me those idols +are just horrid murder. And this man owes +money to this girl with no one to look after +her, and he's got to pay. But I hate being +rude to a man in a place like the Mansion +House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord, +who am I? It seems such cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is +she pretty? + +JOHN BEAL + +What, Miss Miralda? Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what I mean is--what's she like? + +JOHN BEAL + +Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say. +She's, she's tall and she's fair and she's got +blue eyes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is +she? How does she strike you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets +this money, and she hasn't got any job that's +any good, and no real prospects bar this, +and nobody particular by birth, and doesn't +know anybody who is, and lives in the least +fashionable suburb and can only just afford +a second-class fare and... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, yes, go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +And yet somehow she sort of seems like +a--like a queen. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lord above us! And what kind of a queen? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. Well, look here, ARCHIE, +it's only my impression. I don't know her +well yet. It's only my impression. I only +tell you in absolute confidence. You won't +pass it on to anybody, of course. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. Go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, only she seemed more +like well, a kind of autocrat, you know, +who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't +mean that, only... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +So you're not going to marry her? + +JOHN BEAL + +Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd +never dare ask her. She's not that sort. I +tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good +Lord!) she'd be a queen if it wasn't for +Hussein, or something very like one. We can't +go marrying queens. Anyhow, not one like +her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not one like her? + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you--she's a--well, a kind of goddess. +You couldn't ask her if she loved you. It +would be such, such... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Such what? + +JOHN BEAL + +Such infernal cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with +her. But it seems to me you'll be seeing a +good deal of her some day if we pull this off. +And then, my boy-o, you'll be going and +getting in love with her. + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to +the Queen of Sheba. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you +from her all I can. + +JOHN BEAL + +Protect me from her? Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because there's lots of other girls +and it seems to me you might be happier with +some of them. + +JOHN BEAL + +But you haven't even seen her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect +you I somehow think I will. And if I'm not +... + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, and what then? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does +everything. I can't protect you. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but... + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike +Bluebeard.] + +JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] +My brother. + +[ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. +HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is +over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and +Hussein then bow to each other.] + +HUSSEIN + +You desired my presence. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am honoured. + +HUSSEIN + +And I. + +JOHN BEAL + +The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, +lent you one thousand greater gold pieces, +which in our money is one hundred thousand +pounds, as you acknowledge. [Hussein +nods his head.] And every year you were to +pay him for this two hundred and fifty of your +greater gold pieces--as you acknowledge also. + +HUSSEIN + +Even so. + +JOHN BEAL + +And this you have not yet had chance to +pay, but owe it still. + +HUSSEIN + +I do. + +JOHN BEAL + +And now Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with him. + +JOHN BEAL + +His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who +instructs me to be her agent. What have you +to say? + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +You acknowledge your debt to this lady, +Miss Miralda Clement? + +HUSSEIN + +I know her not. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will not pay your debt? + +HUSSEIN + +I will pay. + +JOHN BEAL + +If you bring the gold to my tent, my +brother will take it to Miss Clement. + +HUSSEIN + +I do not pay to Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +To whom do you pay? + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will you pay to Hinnard? + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried in the sea... + +JOHN BEAL + +He is not buried at sea. + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried by any river I go to the god +of rivers. + +JOHN BEAL + +He is buried on land near no river. + +HUSSEIN + +Therefore I will go to a bronze god of +earth, very holy, having the soil in his care +and the things of earth. I will take unto him +the greater pieces of gold due up to the year +when the white traveller died, and will melt +them in fire at his feet by night on the +mountains, saying, "O, Lruru-onn (this is his +name) take this by the way of earth to the +grave of Hinnard." And so I shall be free +of my debt before all gods. + +JOHN BEAL + +But not before me. I am English. And +we are greater than gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that, Johnny? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay, but I told him we're English +and that they're greater than all his bronze +gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's right, Johnny. + +[HUSSEIN looks fiercely at ARCHIE. +He sees ARCHIE's hat lying before a big +idol. He points at the hat and looks in +the face of the idol.] + +HUSSEIN [to the idol] +Drink! Drink! + +[He bows. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that he's saying? + +JOHN BEAL [meditatively] +O, nothing--nothing. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He won't pay, oh? + +JOHN BEAL + +No, not to Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Who to? + +JOHN BEAL + +To one of his gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That won't do. + +JOHN BEAL + +No. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What'll we do? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in +England. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, it isn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +If we were in England... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I know; if we were in England you could +call a policeman. I tell you what it is, +Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I tell you what; you want to see more of +Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because at the present moment our +friend Hussein is a craftier fellow than you, +and looks like getting the best of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help +us? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because you want to be a bit craftier +than Hussein, and I fancy she might make +you. + +JOHN BEAL + +She? How? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're mostly made what we are by some +woman or other. We think it's our own +cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are +you're no match for Hussein, but if you +altered... + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE; where did you get all those +ideas from? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +You never used to talk like that. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, well. + +JOHN BEAL + +You haven't been getting in love, ARCHIE, +have you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda. +I got a letter from her the same day I got +yours. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What does she say? + +JOHN BEAL + +I couldn't make it out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What were her words? + +JOHN BEAL + +She said she was going into it closer. She +underlined closer. What could she mean by +that? How could she get closer? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, the same way as I did. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you mean? I don't understand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +By coming here. + +JOHN BEAL + +By coming here? But she can't come here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because it's impossible. Absolutely +impossible. Why--good Lord--she couldn't +come here. Why, she'd want a chaperon and +a house and--and--everything. Good Lord, +she couldn't come here. It would be--well +it would be impossible--it couldn't be done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, all right. Then I don't know what she +meant. + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE! You don't really think she'd come +here? You don't really think it, do you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of +girl might do, but of course I can't say... + +JOHN BEAL + +Good Lord, ARCHIE! That would be awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? But what would I do? Where +would she go? Where would her chaperon +go? The chaperon would be some elderly +lady. Why, it would kill her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, if it did you've never met her, so you +needn't go into mourning for an elderly lady +that you don't know; not yet, anyway. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, of course not. You're laughing at me, +ARCHIE. But for the moment I took you +seriously. Of course, she won't come. One +can go into a thing closely without doing it +absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't +it be an awful situation if she did. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +All alone with me here? No, impossible. +And the country isn't civilised. + +ARCHIE BEAL. + +Women aren't civilised. + +JOHN BEAL + +Women aren't...? Good Lord, ARCHIE, +what an awful remark. What do you mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're tame, they're wild. We like all the +dull things and the quiet things, they like +all the romantic things and the dangerous +things. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE, it's just the other way about. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and +all the dangerous things. But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? Because we like them, I suppose. +I can't think of any other reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I hate danger. Don't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--well, yes, I suppose I do, really. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course you do. We all do. It's the +women that put us up to it. She's putting +you up to this. And the more she puts you +up to the more likely is Hussein to get it in his +fat neck. + +JOHN BEAL + +But--but you don't mean you'd hurt +Hussein? Not--not badly, I mean. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're under her orders, Johnny. See what +she says. + +JOHN BEAL + +You, you don't really think she'll come +here? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course I do, and the best thing too. +It's her show; she ought to come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but you don't understand. She's +just a young girl, A girl like Miss Miralda +couldn't come out here over the pass and +down these mountains, she'd never stand it, +and as for the chaperon... You've +never met Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to +get you to go from Bromley to this place can +look after herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see what that's got to do with it. +She was in trouble and I had to help her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way +here from Blackheath, and everyone will have +to help her. + +JOHN BEAL + +What beats me is how you can have the +very faintest inkling of what she's like +without ever having seen her and without my +having spoken of her to you for more than a +minute. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird, +you're not a traveller by nature, barring your +one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took +you there. And contrariwise, as they say in +a book you've never read, you're a +levelheaded business man and a hardworking +respectable stay-at-home. You meet a girl +in a train, and the next time I see you you're +in a place that isn't marked on the map and +telling it what gods it ought to worship and +what gods it ought to have agnosticism about. +Well, I say some girl. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must say you make the most +extraordinary deductions, but it was awfully good +of you to come, and I ought to be grateful; +and I am, too, I'm awfully grateful; and I +ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go +ahead. You shall say what you like and do +what you like. It isn't many brothers that +would do what you've done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's nothing. I like this country. +I'm glad I came. And if I can help you with +Hussein, why all the better. + +JOHN BEAL + +It's an awful country, Archie, but we've +got to see this through. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Does she know all about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, everything. I've written fully. + +OMAR [Off] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways... + +JOHN BEAL [shouting| + +O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said +it was an awful country. They sit down +outside one's tent and do that kind of thing for +no earthly reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I'd let them sing. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, you can't have people doing that kind of +thing. + +OMAR [in doorway] + +Master, I go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why do you come? + +OMAR + +I came to sing a joyous song to you, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why did you want to sing me a joyous +song? + +OMAR + +Because a lady is riding out of the West. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +A lady out of... Good Lord! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's coming, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said +a lady; there'd be the chaperon too. There'd +be two of them if it was Miss Miralda. But +he said a lady. One lady. It can't be her. +A girl like that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean +off the map. Oh, no, it isn't possible. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I wouldn't worry. + +JOHN BEAL + +Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the +situation's impossible. People would talk. +Don't you see what people would say? And +where could they go? Who would look after +them? Do try and understand how awful +it is. But it isn't. It's impossible. It can't +be them. For heaven's sake run out and see +if it is; and (good Lord!) I haven't brushed +my hair all day, and, and--oh, look at me. + +[He rushes to camp mirror. Exit +ARCHIE. + +JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately. + +Enter ARCHIE.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +It's what you call THEM. + +JOHN BEAL + +What I call THEM? Whatever do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's her. She's just like what you said. + +JOHN BEAL + +But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can +never have been able to afford a horse. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's on a camel. She'll be here in a +moment. [He goes to door.] Hurry up with that +hair; she's dismounted. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, Lord! What's the chaperon like? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, she's attending to that herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +Attending to it herself? What do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I expect she'll attend to most things. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in doorway +of tent, pulling back flap a little.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Who are you? + +HAFIZ + +I show the gracious lady to your tent. + +[Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing +a smile to HAFIZ.] + +MIRALDA + +Hullo, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--er--how do you do? + +[She looks at ARCHIE.] + +O, this is my brother--Miss Clement. + +MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL + +How do you do? + +MIRALDA + +I like this country. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid I hardly expected you. + +MIRALDA + +Didn't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +No. You see er--it's such a long way. +And wasn't it very expensive? + +MIRALDA + +Well, the captain of the ship was very kind +to me. + +JOHN BEAL + +O! But what did you do when you landed? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some Arabs coming this way +in a caravan. They were really very good to +me too. + +JOHN BEAL + +But the camel? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some people the other side of +the mountains. Everybody has been very +kind about it. And then there was the man +who showed me here. He's called Hafiz el +Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think? + +JOHN BEAL + +But, you know, this country, Miss +Clement, I'm half afraid it's hardly--isn't it, +Archie? Er--how long did you think of +staying? + +MIRALDA + +O, a week or so. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what you'll think of Al +Shaldomir. I'm afraid you'll find it... + +MIRALDA + +Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the +mountains, and the one pass, and no record of it +anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely. + +JOHN BEAL + +You see, I'm afraid--what I mean is I'm +afraid the place isn't even on the map! + +MIRALDA + +O, that's lovely of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +All decent places are. + +MIRALDA + +You mean if a place is on the map we've +got to behave accordingly. But if not, why... + +JOHN BEAL + +Hussein won't pay. + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a +savage-looking brigand. + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. + +[ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling +sometimes.] + +Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the +unholy heap and takes away two large idols, +one under each arm. Exit.] + +What's that, Mr. Beal? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible. +I told you it was an awful country. They +pray to these idols here, and some are all +right, though of course it's terribly +blasphemous, but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well +that heap is very bad indeed. + +MIRALDA + +What do they do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They kill people. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How? + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid they pour their blood down those +horrible throats. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How do you know? + +JOHN BEAL + +I've seen them do it, and those mouths +are all rusty. But it's all right now. It +won't happen any more. + +MIRALDA + +Won't it? Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're +all going to be thrown into the river. + +MIRALDA + +Have you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now. +They won't do it any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. + +JOHN BEAL + +What, what is it? I promise you that's all +right. They won't do that any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. I've never known anyone that tried +to govern a country or anything of that sort, +but... + +JOHN BEAL + +Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put +them right.... I'd be very glad of your +advice... Of course, I'm only here in +your name. + +MIRALDA + +What I mean is that I'd always thought +that the one thing you shouldn't do, if you +don't mind my saying so... + +JOHN BEAL + +No, certainly. + +MIRALDA + +Was to interfere in people's +religious beliefs. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but I don't think you quite +understand. The priests knife these people in the +throat, boys and girls, and then acolytes +lift them up and the blood runs down. I've +seen them. + +MIRALDA + +I think it's best to leave religion to the +priests. They understand that kind of thing. + +[JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror +and looks at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns +the glance; there is very nearly a twinkle in +ARCHIE's eyes.] + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +What do you think, Archie? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Poor fellow. We'd better send for him. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you say "poor fellow"? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's +awful to be in debt. I'd sooner almost +anything happened to me than to owe a lot of +money. + +MIRALDA + +Your remark didn't sound very +complimentary. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt. +And I should hate owing money to you, +Because... + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Because I should so awfully want to pay it. + +MIRALDA + +I see. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all I meant. + +MIRALDA + +Does Hussein awfully want to pay it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He +will then, of course. + +[Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy +heap.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, for the present these gods must +stay. Aho-oomlah's gone, but the rest must +stay for the present. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, go once more to the palace of the +Lord of the Pass and beat the outer door. +Say that the great lady herself would see him. +The great lady, Miss Clement, the white +traveller's heiress. + +DAOUD + +Yes, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hasten. + +[Exit DAOUD.] + +I have sent him for Hussein. + +MIRALDA + +I don't know their language. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will see him, and I'll tell you what he +says. + +MIRALDA [to ARCHIE] + +Have you been here long? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. I think he wrote to me by the same +mail as he wrote to you (if they have mails +here). I came at once. + +MIRALDA + +So did I; but you weren't on the Empress +of Switzerland. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, I came round more by land. + +JOHN BEAL + +You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein +in here to see you. He's such a--he's rather +a... + +MIRALDA + +What's the matter with him? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and +one doesn't know what he'll do. + +MIRALDA + +Well, we must see him first and hear what +he has to say before we take any steps. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what do you propose to do? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or +gives up the security... + +JOHN BEAL + +The security is the pass. + +MIRALDA + +Yes. If he gives up that or pays... + +JOHN BEAL + +You know he's practically king of the +whole country. It seems rather cheek almost +my sending for him like this. + +MIRALDA + +He must come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what are you going to do? + +MIRALDA + +If he gives up the pass... + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be +you'd be a kind of queen of it all. + +MIRALDA + +Well, if he does that, all right... + +JOHN BEAL + +But what if he doesn't? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he doesn't pay... + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[Enter HUSSEIN.] + +HUSSEIN + +Greeting once more. + +JOHN BEAL + +Again greeting.... The great lady, +Miss Clement, is here. + +[HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each +other.] + +You will pay to Miss Clement and not to +your god of bronze. On the word of an +Englishman, your god of bronze shall not have +one gold piece that belongs to the great lady! + +HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous] + +On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only +pay to Hinnard. + +[He stands smiling while MIRALDA +regards him. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do now? + +JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA] + +I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to +introduce you to like that. I'm sorry he came +now. + +MIRALDA + +O, I like him, I think he looks splendid. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are we to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What do you say, Miss Clement? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, what do you feel we ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to +you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, it's your money. What do you think +we really ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, of course, I think you ought to kill +Hussein. + +[JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look +at each other a little startled.] + +JOHN BEAL + +But wouldn't that--wouldn't that +be--murder? + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, according to the English law. + +JOHN BEAL + +I see; you mean--you mean we're not--but +we are English. + +MIRALDA + +I mean it wouldn't be murder--by your +law, unless you made it so. + +JOHN BEAL + +By my law? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, if you can interfere with their religion +like this, and none of them say a word, +why--you can make any laws you like. + +JOHN BEAL + +But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the +Pass, and that's everything here. I'm nobody. + +MIRALDA + +O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's +different. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I think she means that if Hussein weren't +there there'd be only you. Of course, I don't +know. I've only just come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we can't kill Hussein! + +[MIRALDA begins to cry.] + +O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss +Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said +anything you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for +worlds. I'm awfully sorry. It's a beastly +country, I know. I'm really sorry you came. +I feel it's all my fault. I'm really awfully +sorry... + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. Never mind. I was so +helpless, and I asked you to help me. I never +ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have +spoken to you at all in that train without +being introduced; but I was so helpless. And +now, and now, I haven't a penny in the world, +and, O, I don't know what to do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Anything in the wide world. Please, please +don't cry. We'll do anything. + +MIRALDA + +I... I only, I only wanted to--to kill +Hussein. But never mind, it doesn't matter +now. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we, +Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. I--I +suppose he deserves it, doesn't he? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose he does. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled. +My brother and I will talk it over. + +MIRALDA [still sniping] + +And--and--don't hang him or anything--he +looks so fine.... I--I wouldn't like +him treated like that. He has such a grand +beard. He ought to die fighting. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement. + +MIRALDA + +It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's +sweet of both of you. I don't know what I d +have done without you. I seemed to know +it that day the moment I saw you. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all right. + +MIRALDA + +Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the +trouble. That's what I've been thinking of + +MIRALDA + +Why, isn't there... + +JOHN BEAL + +No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to +do, Archie. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I--I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement +would have a scheme. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL] + +I rely on you, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +I--I; but what can I... You see, +you're all alone. If you'd anyone with you, +you could have... + +MIRALDA + +I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt. +But on the whole I thought it better not to +tell anyone. + +JOHN BEAL + +Not to tell... + +MIRALDA + +No, on the whole I didn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +I say, Archie, what are we to do? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Here's Daoud. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +JOHN BEAL + +The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir! + +DAOUD + +I have brought two watchers of the +doorstep to guard the noble lady. + +JOHN BEAL + +He says he's brought two watchers of the +doorstep to look after Miss Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go +anywhere now. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, really, that is better. Yes that will +be all right. We can find a room for you now. +The trouble was your being alone. I hope +you'll like them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them +to enter here. + +DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway] + +Ho! Enter! + +JOHN BEAL + +That's all right, ARCHIE, isn't it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a +chaperon, black or white. + +JOHN BEAL + +You won't mind their being black, will you, +Miss Clement? + +MIRALDA + +No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse +than white ones. + +[Enter BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA +two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock +fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at +them. They begin to fan slightly.] + +DAOUD + +The watchers of the doorstep. + +JOHN BEAL + +Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may +not guard a lady's door. + +[BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile +ingratiatingly.] + +We are not men. + +BAZZALOL [bowing] + +Curtain + +Six and a half years elapse + + +THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES + +When morn is bright on the mountains olden + Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day, + When morn is bright and the marshes golden, +Where shall the lost lights fade away? + And where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows + Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray, +And the water is streaked with the flash of +swallows + And all through summer the iris sway. + But where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +When night is black in the iris marshes. + + + + +ACT III + +SCENE 1 + +Six and a half years later. +Al Shaldomir. +A room in the palace. + +MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions, +JOHN beside her. + +Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them. + +OMAR [declaiming to a zither] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God + And after Paradise, all praise. + Thou art the theme of all their lays. +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir.... + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Omar. + +OMAR + +O lady, I depart. +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA [languidly] + +John, John. I wish you'd marry me. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you're thinking of those old +customs again that we left behind us seven years +ago. What's the good of it? + +MIRALDA + +I had a fancy that I wished you would. + +JOHN + +What's the good of it? You know you are +my beloved. There are none of those +clergymen within hundreds of miles. What's the +good of it? + +MIRALDA + +We could find one, John. + +JOHN + +O, yes, I suppose we could, but... + +MIRALDA + +Why won't you? + +JOHN + +I told you why. + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, that instinct that you must not +marry. That's not your reason, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, it is. + +MIRALDA + +It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason. +It's no reason at all. There's some other +reason. + +JOHN + +No, there isn't. But I feel that in my +bones. I don't know why. You know that +I love none else but you. Besides, we're +never going back, and it doesn't matter. +This isn't Blackheath. + +MIRALDA + +So I must live as your slave. + +JOHN + +No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my +slave. Did not the singer compare our love +to the desire of the nightingale for the +evening star? All know that you are my queen. + +MIRALDA + +They do not know at home. + +JOHN + +Home? Home? How could they know? +What have we in common with home? Rows +and rows of little houses; and if they hear a +nightingale there they write to the papers. +And--and if they saw this they'd think they +were drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd. +What has set you thinking of home? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +But I am not a king. I am only Shereef. + +MIRALDA + +You are all-powerful here, John, you can do +what you please, if you wish to. You don't +love me at all. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't +I kill Hussein for you? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, but you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +And Hussein's people killed ARCHIE. That +was for you too. I brought my brother out +here to help you. He was engaged to be +married, too. + +MIRALDA + +But you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves +the iris marshes. You know the song they +sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III) + +MIRALDA + +Then why won't you marry me? + +JOHN + +I told you, I told you. I had a dream about +the future. I forgot the dream, but I know +I was not to marry. I will not wrong the +future. + +MIRALDA + +Don't be crazy. + +JOHN + +I will have what fancies I please, crazy or +sane. Am I not Shereef of Shaldomir? Who +dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +It is not my wish. + +MIRALDA + +I will, I will, I will. + +JOHN + +Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast +into a well and take twenty of the fairest +daughters of Al Shaldomir in your place, who +can gainsay me? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +O, do not be tiresome. + +MIRALDA + +Was it not my money that brought you +here? Was it not I who said "Kill Hussein"? +What power could you have had, had +Hussein lived? What would you have been doing +now, but for me? + +JOHN + +I don't know, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Catching some silly train to the City. +Working for some dull firm. Living in some +small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought +you from all that, and you won't make me a +queen. + +JOHN + +Is it not enough that you are my beloved? +You know there is none other but you. Is +it not enough, Miralda? + +MIRALDA + +It is not enough. I will be queen. + +JOHN + +Tchah!... Miralda, I know you are a +wonderful woman, the most wonderful in the +East; how you ever came to be in the West +I don't know, and a train of all places; but, +Miralda, you must not have petty whims, +they don't become you. + +MIRALDA + +Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen? + +JOHN + +Yes, when it is only the name you want. +You are a queen. You have all you wish for. +Are you not my beloved? And have I not +power here over all men? Could I not close +the pass? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be queen. + +JOHN + +Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do +than to sit and hear your whims. When I +come back you will have some other whim. +Miralda, you have too many whims. + +[He rises.] + +MIRALDA + +Will you be back soon? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +When will you come back, John? + +[She is reclining, looking fair, fanning +slightly.] + +JOHN + +In half an hour. + +MIRALDA + +In half an hour? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA + +Half an hour. + +[Her fan is laid down. She clutches +it with sudden resolve. She goes to the +wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans +against it. She fans herself now with +obvious deliberation. Three times the +great fan goes pat against the window, and +then again separately three times; and +then she puts it against the window once +with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled. +She returns to the cushions and reclines +with beautiful care, fanning herself softly. + +Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN] + +HAFIZ + +Lady! You bade me come. + +MIRALDA + +Did I, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, your fan. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, I was fanning myself. + +HAFIZ + +Seven times, lady. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, was it? Well, now you're here. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O star of these times. O light over +lonely marshes. [He kneels by her and +embraces her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady? + +MIRALDA + +For half an hour, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +How know you for half an hour? + +MIRALDA + +He said so. + +HAFIZ + +He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a +man say so. + +MIRALDA + +I know him. + +HAFIZ + +In our country who knows any man so +much? None. + +MIRALDA + +He'll be away for half an hour. + +HAFIZ [embracing] + +O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for +me? + +HAFIZ + +I would do all things, lady, O evening +star. + +MIRANDA + +Would you make me a queen, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +If--if the Shereef were gathered? + +MIRALDA + +Even so, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I would make you queen of all that +lies west of the passes. + +MIRANDA + +You would make me queen? + +HAFIZ + +Indeed, before all my wives, before all +women, over all Shaldomir, named the elect. + +MIRALDA + +O, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me. +[HAFIZ does so ad lib.] + +Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour. + +MIRALDA + +The appointed hour? + +HAFIZ + +Even the appointed hour, the last, leading +to darkness. + +MIRALDA + +Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's +hour is soon? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a +banquet. Let the great ones of Shaldomir be +bidden there. + +MIRALDA + +There shall be a banquet, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of +the garden. + +MIRALDA + +It shall be soon, Hafiz. +[More embraces.] + +HAFIZ + +And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son +of the baker. + +MIRALDA + +He shall be bidden, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +O lady, it is well. + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL]. +Silence. Silence. Silence. + +BAZZALOL [kneeling] + +O, master! + +HAFIZ + +Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out; +but do you be silent. + +BAZZALOL + +Aye, master. + +HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA] + +And you. Though this one speak, yet be +silent, or dread the shadow of Hafiz el +Alcolahn. + +[He drops a bag of gold. +THOOTHOOBABA goes down and grabs at the gold; +his eyes gloat over it.] + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h. + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +MIRALDA arranges herself on the +cushions. She looks idly at each Nubian. The +Nubians put each a finger over his lips and +go on fanning with one hand.] + +MIRALDA + +A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen. + +[Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him +caressingly. + +Enter DAOUD.] + +Oh, you have brought Daoud with you. + +JOHN + +Why not? + +MIRALDA + +You know that I don't like Daoud. + +JOHN + +I wish to speak with him. + +[MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and +moves away in silence. Exit L.] + +JOHN + +Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Great master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery +of those called Blessed, beyond the city's +gates, you swore to me by the graves of both +your parents.... + +DAOUD + +Great master, even so I swore. + +JOHN + +.... to be true to me always. + +DAOUD + +There is no Shereef but my master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, you have kept your word. + +DAOUD + +I have sought to, master. + +JOHN + +You have helped me often, Daoud, warned +me and helped me often. Through you I +knew those currents that run through the +deeps of the market, in silence and all men +feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of +them, and when I knew--then I could look +after myself, Daoud. They could do nothing +against me then. Well, now I hold this +people. I hold them at last, Daoud, and now +--well, I can rest a little. + +DAOUD + +Not in the East, master. + +JOHN + +Not in the East, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Why? What do you mean? + +DAOUD + +In Western countries, master, whose tales +I have read, in a wonderful book named the +"Good Child's History of England," in the +West a man hath power over a land, and lo! +the power is his and descends to his son's son +after him. + +JOHN + +Well, doesn't it in the East? + +DAOUD + +Not if he does not watch, master; in the +night and the day, and in the twilight +between the day and the night, and in the dawn +between the night and the day. + +JOHN + +I thought you had pretty long dynasties +in these parts, and pretty lazy ones. + +DAOUD + +Master, he that was mightiest of those that +were kings in Babylon had a secret door +prepared in an inner chamber, which led to a +little room, the smallest in the palace, whose +back door opened secretly to the river, even +to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited +all the days of his reign. + +JOHN + +Did he really now? Well, he was taking no +chances. Did he have to use it? + +DAOUD + +No, master. Such boats are never used. +Those that watch like that do not need to +seek them, and the others, they would never +be able to reach the river in time, even though +the boat were there. + +JOHN + +I shouldn't like to have to live like that. +Why, a river runs by the back of this palace. +I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm +glad I don't have to keep a boat there. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it you are worrying about? +Who is it you are afraid of? + +DAOUD + +Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately +I ordered my spies to watch him no longer. +Why does he hate me? + +DAOUD + +Because, most excellent master, you slew +Hussein. + +JOHN + +Slew Hussein? What is that to do with +him? May I not slay whom I please? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Even so. But he was +Hussein's enemy. + +JOHN + +His enemy, eh? + +DAOUD + +For years he had dreamed of the joy of +killing Hussein. + +JOHN + +Well, he should have done it before I came. +We don't hang over things and brood over +them for years where I come from. If a +thing's to be done, it's done. + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans +for years. He would have killed him and got +his substance; and then, when the hour drew +near, you came, and Hussein died, swiftly, +not as Hafiz would have had him die; and +lo! thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz is +no more than a beetle that runs about in the +dirt. + +JOHN + +Well, so you fear Hafiz? + +DAOUD + +Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not +Hafiz. But, master, hast thou seen when the +thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard +and the sky is scarce yet black, how little +winds run in the grass and sigh and die; and +the flower beckons a moment with its head; +all the world full of whispers, master, all +saying nothing; then the lightning, master, and +the anger of God; and men say it came +without warning? [Simply.] I hear those things +coming, master. + +JOHN + +Well? + +DAOUD + +Master, it is all silent in the market. Once, +when the price of turquoises was high, men +abused the Shereef. When the merchant men +could not sell their pomegranates for silver +they abused the Shereef. It is men's way, +master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the +market. It is like the grasses with the idle +winds, that whisper and sigh and die away; +like the flowers beckoning to nothing. And +so, master, and so.... + +JOHN + +I see, you fear some danger. + +DAOUD + +I fear it, master. + +JOHN + +What danger, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Master, I know not. + +JOHN + +From what quarter, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir, +named the elect, from that quarter. + +JOHN + +That quarter? Why, that is the gracious +lady's innermost chamber. + +DAOUD + +From that quarter, great master, O Lord +of the Pass. + +JOHN + +Daoud, I have cast men into prison for +saying less than this. Men have been flogged +on the feet for less than this. + +DAOUD + +Slay me, master, but hear my words. + +JOHN + +I will not slay you. You are mistaken, +Daoud. You have made a great mistake. +The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady +has scarcely seen Hafiz. She knows nothing +of the talk of the market. Who could tell +her? No one comes here. It is absurd. Only +the other day she said to me... But it +is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the +people would never rebel against me. Do I +not govern them well? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. + +JOHN + +Why should they rebel, then? + +DAOUD + +They think of the old times, master. + +JOHN + +The old times? Why, their lives weren't +safe. The robbers came down from the +mountains and robbed the market whenever they +had a mind. + +DAOUD + +Master, men were content in the old times. + +JOHN + +But were the merchants content? + +DAOUD + +Those that loved merchandise were +content, master. Those that loved it not went +into the mountains. + +JOHN + +But were they content when they were +robbed? + +DAOUD + +They soon recovered their losses, master. +Their prices were unjust and they loved usury. + +JOHN + +And were the people content with unjust +prices? + +DAOUD + +Some were, master, as men have to be in +all countries. The others went into the +mountains and robbed the merchants. + +JOHN + +I see. + +DAOUD + +But now, master, a man robs a merchant +and he is cast into prison. Now a man is +slain in the market and his son, his own son, +master, may not follow after the aggressor +and slay him and burn his house. They are +ill-content, master. No man robs the +merchants, no man slays them, and the +merchants' hearts are hardened and they oppress +all men. + +JOHN + +I see. They don't like good government? + +DAOUD + +They sigh for the old times, master. + +JOHN + +I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for +them, they want their old bad government +back again. + +DAOUD + +It is the old way, master. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well, +we must watch. You have warned me once +again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you +are wrong, Daoud, about the gracious lady. +You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are +mistaken, Daoud. I know it could not be. + +DAOUD + +I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am +mistaken. Yet, watch. Watch, master. + +JOHN + +Well, I will watch. + +DAOUD + +And, master, if ever I come to you bearing +oars, then watch no longer, master, but follow +me through the banquet chamber and through +the room beyond it. Move as the wild deer +move when there is danger, without pausing, +without wondering, without turning round; +for in that hour, master, in that hour.... + +JOHN + +Through the room beyond the banquet +chamber, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Aye, master, following me. + +JOHN + +But there is no door beyond, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Master, I have prepared a door. + +JOHN + +A door, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +A door none wots of, master. + +JOHN + +Whither does it lead? + +DAOUD + +To a room that you know not of, a little +room; you must stoop, master. + +JOHN + +O, and then? + +DAOUD + +To the river, master. + +JOHN + +The river! But there's no boat there. + +DAOUD + +Under the golden willow, master. + +JOHN + +A boat? + +DAOUD + +Even so, under the branches. + +JOHN + +Is it come to that?... No, Daoud, all +this is unnecessary. It can't come to that. + +DAOUD + +If ever I come before you bearing two oars, +in that hour, master, it is necessary. + +JOHN + +But you will not come. It will never come +to that. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +A wise man can stop things before they +get as far as that. + +DAOUD + +They that were kings in Babylon were wise +men, master. + +JOHN + +Babylon! But that was thousands of +years ago. + +DAOUD + +Man changes not, master. + +JOHN + +Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it +ever comes to that... + +[Enter MIRALDA.] + +MIRALDA + +I thought Daoud was gone. + +DAOUD + +Even now I go, gracious lady. + +[Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence +with JOHN and MIRALDA till he goes. +She goes and retakes herself comfortable +on the cushions. He is not entirely at ease.] + +MIRALDA + +You had a long talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he came and talked a good deal. + +MIRALDA + +What about? + +JOHN + +O, just talk; you know these Eastern +people. + +MIRALDA + +I thought it was something you were +discussing with him. + +JOHN + +O, no. + +MIRALDA + +Some important secret. + +JOHN + +No, not at all. + +MIRALDA + +You often talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks +sense I listen, but to-day... + +MIRALDA + +What did he come for to-day? + +JOHN + +O, nothing. + +MIRALDA + +You have a secret with Daoud that you +will not share with me. + +JOHN + +No, I have not. + +MIRALDA + +What was it he said? + +JOHN + +He said there was a king in Babylon who... + +[DAOUD slips into the room.] + +MIRALDA + +In Babylon? What has that to do with +us? + +JOHN + +Nothing. I told you he was not talking +sense. + +MIRALDA + +Well, what did he say? + +JOHN + +He said that in Babylon... + +DAOUD + +Hist! + +JOHN + +O, well... + +[MIRALDA glares, but calms herself +and says nothing. + +Exit DAOUD.] + +MIRALDA + +What did Daoud say of Babylon? + +JOHN + +O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do +with us. + +MIRALDA + +But I wish to hear it. + +JOHN + +I forget. + +[For a moment there is silence.] + +MIRALDA + +John, John. Will you do a little thing for +me? + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Say you will do it, John. I should love to +have one of my little wishes granted. + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill +Daoud. + +JOHN + +I will not. + +[He walks up and down in front of the +two Nubians in silence. She plucks +petulantly at a pillow. She suddenly calms +herself. A light comes into her eyes. The +Nubians go on fanning. JOHN goes on +pacing.] + + MIRALDA + +John, John, I have forgotten my foolish +fancies. + +JOHN + +I am glad of it. + +MIRALDA + +I do not really wish you to kill Daoud. + +JOHN [same voice] + +I'm glad you don't. + +MIRALDA + +I have only one fancy now, John. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it? + +MIRALDA + +Give a banquet, John. I want you to give +a banquet. + +JOHN + +A banquet? Why? + +MIRALDA + +Is there any harm in my fancy? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +Then if I may not be a queen, and if you +will not kill Daoud for me, give a banquet, +John. There is no harm in a banquet. + +JOHN + +Very well. When do you want it? + +MIRALDA + +To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones +to it, all the illustrious ones in Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Very well. + +MIRALDA + +And bid Daoud come. + +JOHN + +Daoud? You asked me to kill him. + +MIRALDA + +I do not wish that any longer, John. + +JOHN + +You have queer moods, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +May I not change my moods, John? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't understand them. + +MIRALDA + +And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John. + +JOHN + +Hafiz? Why? + +MIRALDA + +I don't know, John. It was just my fancy. + +JOHN + +Your fancy, eh? + +MIRALDA + +That was all. + +JOHN + +Then I will ask him. Have you any other +fancy? + +MIRALDA + +Not now, John. + +JOHN + +Then go, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Go? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +JOHN + +Because I command it. + +MIRALDA + +Because you command it? + +JOHN + +Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir. + +MIRALDA + +Very well. + +[Exit L. + +He walks to the door to see that she is +really gone. He comes back to centre and +stands with back to audience, pulling a +cord quietly from his pocket and arranging +it. + +He moves half left and comes up behind +BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the cord +over BAZZALOL's head, and tightens it +round his neck.] + +[BAZZALOL flops on his knees. + +THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.] + +JOHN + +Speak! + +[BAZZALOL is silent. + +JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA +goes on quietly fanning.] + +BAZZALOL + +I cannot. + +JOHN + +If you would speak, raise your left hand. +If you raise your left hand and do not speak +you shall die. + +[BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens +more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby +left hand high. JOHN releases the cord. +BAZZALOL blinks and moves his mouth.] + +BAZZALOL + +Gracious Shereef, one visited the great +lady and gave us gold, saying, "Speak not." + +JOHN + +When? + +BAZZALOL + +Great master, one hour since. + +JOHN [a little viciously] + +Who? + +BAZZALOL + +O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +Give me the gold. + +[BAZZALOL gives it.] + +[To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the +gold. + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, none gave me gold. + +[John touches his dagger, and looks like +using it. + +THOOTHOOBABA gives it.] + +JOHN + +Take back your gold. Be silent about this. +You too. + +[He throws gold to BAZZALOL.] + +Gold does not make you silent, but there is +a thing that does. What is that thing? +Speak. What thing makes you silent? + +BAZZALOL + +O, great master, it is death. + +JOHN + +Death, eh? And how will you die if you +speak? You know how you will die? + +BAZZALOL + +Yes, heaven-sent. + +JOHN + +Tell your comrade, then. + +BAZZALOL + +We shall be eaten, great master. + +JOHN + +You know by what? + +BAZZALOL + +Small things, great master, small things. +Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h. + +[THOOTHOOBABA's knees scarcely hold +him.] + +JOHN + +It is well. + + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +A small street. Al Shaldomir. + +Time: Next day. + +[Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE +BISHAREENS. + +He goes to an old green door, pointed of +course in the Arabic way.] + +SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Ho, Bishareens! + +[The BISHAREENS run on.] + +SHEIK + +It is the place and the hour. + +BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN] + +Watch. + +[FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and +watches up sunny street.] + +FIRST BISHAREEN + +He comes. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes +straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.] + +SHEIK [turning] + +Hear, O Bishareens. + +[HAFIZ places flute to his lips.] + +A BISHAREEN + +And the gold, master? + +SHEIK + +Silence! It is the signal. + +[HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on +his flute.] + +HAFIZ + +So. + +SHEIK + +Master, once more. + +[HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.] + +SHEIK + +Hear, O Bishareens! + +[He plays the brief tune again.] + +HAFIZ [to SHEIK] + +Like that. + +SHEIK + +We have heard, O master. + +[He walks away L. Hands move in +the direction of knife-hilts.] + +THE BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +He plays a merry little tune on his +flute as he walks away.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 3 + +The banqueting hall. A table along the +back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with +notables of Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA +on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ EL +ALCOLAHN. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN] + +You bade Daoud be present? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +He is not here. + +JOHN + +Daoud not here? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Why? + +MIRALDA + +We all obey you, but not Daoud. + +JOHN + +I do not understand it. + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef has frowned. + +[Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He +halts at once and salutes with his sword, +then takes a side pace to his left, standing +against the wall, sword at the carry. + +JOHN acknowledges salute by touching +his forehead with the inner tips of his +fingers.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the +dance-step; march. + +[Enter R. some men in single file; +uniform, pale green silks; swords at carry. +They advance in single file, in a slightly +serpentine way, deviating to their left a +little out of the straight and returning to it, +stepping neatly on the tips of their toes. +Their march is fantastic and odd without +being exactly funny. + + The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their + left flank and marches about level with the + third or fourth man. + When he reaches the centre he gives + another word of command.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +With reverence: Salute. + +[The actor who takes this part should +have been an officer or N. C. O. + +JOHN stands up and acknowledges their +salute by touching his forehead with the +fingers of the right hand, palm turned +inwards. + +Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.] + +A NOTABLE + +He does not smile this evening. + +A WOMAN + +The Shereef? + +NOTABLE + +He has not smiled. + +[Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with +brass bowl. He bows. He walks to centre +opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.] + +ZABNOOL + +Behold. The bowl is empty. + +[ZABNOOL produces a snake.] + +ZABNOOL + +Ah, little servant of Death. + +[He produces flowers.] + +Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from +Nowhere. + +[He produces birds.] + +Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere. +Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the little +empty songs of the land of Nowhere. + +[He seats himself on the ground facing +JOHN. He puts the bowl on the ground. +He places a piece of silk, with queer +designs on it over the bowl. He partly +draws the silk away with his left hand and +puts in his right. He brings out a young +crocodile and holds it by the neck.] + +CONJURER + +Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a +crocodile. + +[He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps +up the crocodile in some drapery and walks +away. As he goes he addresses his +crocodile.] + +O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers, +you sought to evade me in an empty bowl. +O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the +Shereef. The Shereef has seen you, O vexer +of swimmers, O pig in armour, O... + +[Exit. + +SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes +on.] + +SHABEESH + +Bad man, master; he very, very bad man. + +[He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly, +impetus of which carries ZABNOOL to the +wings.] + +Very, very bad man, master. + +MIRALDA [reprovingly] + +Zabnool has amused us. + +SHABEESH + +He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get +crocodile from devil. From devil Poolyana, +lily lady. Very, very bad. + +MIRALDA + +He may call on devils if he amuse us, +Shabeesh. + +SHABEESH + +But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my +devil, lily lady. Very, very, very bad. My +devil Poolyana. + +MIRALDA + +Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse +us. + +SHABEESH + +Shall one devil serve two masters? + +MIRALDA + +Why not? + +SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's +hands] + +Very bad man go away. Go away, bad +man: go away, bad man. Poolyana not want +bad man: Poolyana only work for good man. +He mighty fine devil. Poolyana, Poolyana. +Big, black, fine, furry devil. Poolyana, +Poolyana, Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big +angry tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. +Send me up fine young pig for the Shereef. +Poolyana, Poolyana. Lil yellow pig with +curly tail. [Small pig appears.] O +Poolyana, great Poolyana. Fine black fur and +grey fur underneath. Fine ferocious devil +you my devil, Poolyana. O, Poolyana, +Poolyana, Poolyana. Send me a big beast what +chew bad man's crocodile. Big beast with +big teeth, eat him like a worm. + +[He has spread large silk handkerchief +on floor and is edging back from it in +alarm.] + +Long nails in him toes, big like lion, +Poolyana. Send great smelly big beast--eat +up bad man's crocodile. + +[At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH +leaps in alarm.] + +He come, he come. I see his teeth and +horns. + +[Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor +under handkerchief.] + +O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle +joke. You laugh at poor conjuring man. +You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile. +Bad Poolyana. Bad Poolyana. + +[Whacks ground with stick.] + +You plenty bad devil, Poolyana. + +[Whacking it again. Handkerchief has +been thrown on ground again. +Handkerchief stirs slightly.] + +No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil. +You not bad devil. You plenty good devil, +Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man +quite happy on muddy earth. No, Poolyana, +no! O, no, no, devil. O, no, no! Hell plenty +nice place for devil. Master! He not my +devil! He other man's devil! + +JOHN + +What's this noise? What's it about? +What's the matter? + +SHABEESH [in utmost terror] + +He coming, master! Coming! + +ZABNOOL + +Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay +down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in +nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want +no devil to-day. + +[ZABNOOL before speaking returns to +centre and pats air over ground where +handkerchief lies. + +Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOL come +together side by side and bow and smile +together toward the SHEREEF. Gold is +thrown to them, which ZABNOOL gathers +and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a share +back to ZABNOOL.] + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef is silent. + +[Enter three women R. in single file, +dancing, and carrying baskets full of pink +rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing +down rose-leaves, leaving a path of them +behind them. Exeunt L.] + +A NOTABLE + +Still he is silent. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not speak? + +JOHN + +I do not wish to speak. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +[Enter OMAR with his zither.] + + OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +Birds sing thy praises night and day; + The nightingale in every wood, +Blackbirds in fields profound with may; +Birds sing of thee by every way. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +My heart is ringing with thee still +Though far away, O fairy fields, +My soul flies low by every hill +And misses not one daffodil. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +O mother of my roving dreams +Blue is the night above thy spires +And blue by myriads of streams +Paradise through thy gateway gleams. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not wish to speak? + +JOHN + +You desire me to speak? + +MIRALDA + +No. They all wonder why you do not +speak; that is all. + +JOHN + +I will speak. They shall hear me. + +MIRALDA + +O, there is no need to. + +JOHN + +There is a need. [He rises.] People of +Shaldomir, behold I know your plottings. +I know the murmurings that you murmur +against me. When I sleep in my inner +chamber my ear is in the market, while I sit at +meat I hear men whisper far hence and know +their innermost thoughts. Hope not to +overcome me by your plans nor by any manner of +craftiness. My gods are gods of brass; none +have escaped them. They cannot be +overthrown. Of all men they favour my people. +Their hands reach out to the uttermost ends +of the earth. Take heed, for my gods are +terrible. I am the Shereef; if any dare +withstand me I will call on my gods and they shall +crush him utterly. They shall grind him into +the earth and trample him under, as though +he had not been. The uttermost parts have +feared the gods of the English. They reach +out, they destroy, there is no escape from +them. Be warned; for I do not permit any +to stand against me. The laws that I have +given you, you shall keep; there shall be no +other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my +wrath and the wrath of my gods. Take heed, +I speak not twice. I spoke once to Hussein. +Hussein heard not; and Hussein is dead, his +ears are closed for ever. Hear, O people. + +HAFIZ + +O Shereef, we murmur not against you. + +JOHN + +I know thoughts and hear whispers. I +need not instruction, Hafiz. + + HAFIZ + +You exalt yourself over us as none did +aforetime. + +JOHN + +Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been +Shereef hitherto, but now I will be king. Al +Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled +too long over a little country. I will be the +equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim it. +The pass is mine; the mountains shall be +mine also. And he that rules the mountains +has mastery over all the plains beyond. If +the men of the plains will not own it let them +make ready; for my wrath will fall on them +in the hour when they think me afar, on a +night when they think I dream. I proclaim +myself king over... + +[HAFIZ pulls out his flute and plays the +weird, strange tune. JOHN looks at him in +horrified anger.] + +JOHN + +The penalty is death! Death is the +punishment for what you do, Hafiz. You have +dared while I spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is +death. Go to Hussein. I, the king... +say it. + +[DAOUD has entered R., bearing two +oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking +at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near +back. + +JOHN gives one look at the banqueters, +then he follows DAOUD. Exit. + +All look astonished. Some rise and +peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.] + +OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise. + +CRIES [off] + +Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the +Christian. + +[Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS, +followed by all his men.] + +SHEIK + +We are the Bishareens, master. + +[MIRALDA standing up, right arm +akimbo, left arm pointing perfectly straight out +towards the small door, hand extended.] + +MIRALDA + +He is there. + +[The BISHAREENS run off through the +little door.] + +A NOTABLE + +Not to interfere with old ways is wisest. + +ANOTHER + +Indeed, it would have been well for him. + +[The BISHAREENS begin to return +looking all about them like disappointed +hounds.] + +A BISHAREEN + +He is not there, master. + +HAFIZ + +Not there? Not there? Why, there is no +door beyond. He must needs be there, and +his chief spy with him. + +SHEIK [off] + +He is not here. + +MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall] + +O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him. + +HAFIZ + +Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is +gone. + +MIRALDA + +When I am weary of a man he must die. + +[He embraces her knees.] + +ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd +that followed the BISHAREENS. She is +blind.] + +Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of +Hafiz. Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead her +near.] Hafiz! Hafiz! + +[She finds his shoulder and tries to drag +him away.] + +HAFIZ + +Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of +the innermost deeps of the sea. + +[He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's +hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.] + +Curtain + + + + +ACT IV + +SCENE 1 + +Three years elapse. + +Scene: The street outside the Acacias. + +Time: Evening. + +[Ali leans on a pillar-box watching. +John shuffles on L. He is miserably +dressed, an Englishman down on his luck. +A nightingale sings far off.] + +JOHN + +A nightingale here. Well, I never. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise... + +The infernal place! I wish I had never +seen it! Wonder what set me thinking of +that? + +[The nightingale sings another bar. +JOHN turns to his left and walks down the +little path that leads to the door of the +Acacias.] + +I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a +fine house like this. Mustn't. Mustn't. + +[He draws near it reluctantly. He puts +his hand to the bell and withdraws it. +Then he rings and snatches his hand away. +He prepares to run away. Finally he rings +it repeatedly, feverishly, violently. + +Enter LIZA, opening the door.] + +LIZA + +Ullo, 'Oo's this! + +JOHN + +I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I +oughtn't to have rung your bell; but I've +seen better days, and wondered if--I +wondered... + +LIZA + +I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's +wot I oughtn't. Now I look at you, I +oughtn't to 'ave opened it. Wot does you +want? + +JOHN + +O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must +come here. I must. + +LIZA + +Must? Why? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Wot do you want? + +JOHN + +Who lives here? + +LIZA + +Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Johnstone. What do you want? + +JOHN + +Could I see Mr. Cater? + +LIZA + +He's out. Dining at the Mansion House. + + JOHN + +Oh. + +LIZA + +He is. + +JOHN + +Could I see Mrs. Cater? + +LIZA + +See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you +couldn't. + +[She prepares to shut the door.] + +JOHN + +Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut +me out. If you knew what I'd suffered, if +you knew what I'd suffered. Don't! + +LIZA [coming forward again] + +Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to +eat? + +JOHN + +No, I've had nothing all day. + +LIZA + +'Aven't you really now? + +JOHN + +No. And I get little enough at any time. + +LIZA [kindly] + +You ought to work. + +JOHN + +I... I can't. I can't bring myself... +I've seen better times. + +LIZA + +Still, you could work. + +JOHN + +I--I can't grub for halfpennies when I've +--when I've... + +LIZA + +When you've what? + +JOHN + +Lost millions. + +LIZA + +Millions? + +JOHN + +I've lost everything. + +LIZA + +'Ow did you lose it? + +JOHN + +Through being blind. But never mind, +never mind. It's all gone now, and I'm +hungry. + +LIZA + +'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck? + +JOHN + +It's three years now. + +LIZA + +Couldn't get a regular job, like? + +JOHN + +Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose +it's my fault, miss. But the heart was out of +me. + +LIZA + +Dear me, now. + +JOHN + +Miss. + +LIZA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +You've a kind face... + +LIZA + +'Ave I? + +JOHN + +Yes. Would you do me a kind turn? + +LIZA + +Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down +on yer luck--I don't like to see a man like +you are, I must say. + +JOHN + +Would you let me come into the big house +and speak to the missus a moment? + +LIZA + +She'd row me awful if I did. This house is +very respectable. + +JOHN + +I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck +might change. + +LIZA + +But I don't know what she'd say if I did. + +JOHN + +Miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know wot she'd say. + +JOHN + +I must come in, miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll say. + +JOHN + +I must. I can't help myself. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll... + +[JOHN is in, door shuts.] + +[ALI throws his head up and laughs, +but quite silently.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +The drawing-room at the Acacias. + +A moment later. + +The scene is the same as in Act I, except +that the sofa which was red is now green, +and the photograph of Aunt Martha is +replaced by that of a frowning old colonel. +The ages of the four children in the +photographs are the same, but their sexes have +changed. + +[MARY reading. Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, mum, +which is, properly speaking, not a gentleman +at all, but 'e would come in, mum. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza, +whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +'E would come in, mum. + +MARY + +But what does he want? + +LIZA [over shoulder] + +What does you want? + +JOHN [entering] + +I am a beggar. + +MARY + +O, really? You've no right to be coming +into houses like this, you know. + +JOHN + +I know that, madam, I know that. Yet +somehow I couldn't help myself. I've been +begging for nearly three years now, and I've +never done this before, yet somehow to-night +I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg +your pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to +it. + +MARY + +Hunger? + + +JOHN + +I'm very hungry, madam. + +MARY + +Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet +returned, or perhaps he might... + +JOHN + +If you could give me a little to eat +yourself, madam, a bit of stale bread, a crust, +something that Mr. Cater would not want. + +MARY + +It's very unusual, coming into a house like +this and at such an hour--it's past eleven +o'clock--and Mr. Cater not yet returned. +Are you really hungry? + +JOHN + +I'm very, very hungry. + +MARY + +Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I +might get you a little something. + +[She picks up an empty plate from the +supper table.] + +JOHN + +Madam, I do not know how to thank you. + +MARY + +O, don't mention it. + +JOHN + +I have not met such kindness for three +years. I... I'm starving. I've known +better times. + +MARY [kindly] + +I'll get you something. You've known +better times, you say? + +JOHN + +I had been intended for work in the City. +And then, then I travelled, and--and I got +very much taken with foreign countries, and +I thought--but it all went to pieces. I lost +everything. Here I am, starving. + +MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who +had lost her gloves] + +O, I'm so sorry. + +[JOHN sighs deeply.] + +MARY + +I'll get a nice bit of something to eat. + +JOHN + +A thousand thanks to you, madam. + +[Exit MARY with the plate.] + +LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the +time] + +Well, she's going to get you something. + +JOHN + +Heaven reward her. + +LIZA + +Hungry as all that? + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. + +LIZA + +Cheer up! + +JOHN + +That's all very well to say, living in a fine +house, as you are, dry and warm and well-fed. +But what have I to cheer up about? + +LIZA + +Isn't there anything you could pop? + +JOHN + +What? + +LIZA + +Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop? +I've tided over times I wanted a bit of cash +that way sometimes. + +JOHN + +What could I pawn? + +LIZA + +Well, well you've a watch-chain. + +JOHN + +A bit of old leather. + +LIZA + +But what about the watch? + +JOHN + +I've no watch. + +LIZA + +O, funny having a watch-chain then. + +JOHN + +O, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal. + +LIZA + +Funny bit of a thing. What's it for? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Was it give to you? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't know how I got it. + +LIZA + +Don't know how you got it? + +JOHN + +No, I can't remember at all. But I've a +feeling about it, I can't explain what I feel; +but I don't part with it. + +LIZA + +Don't you? You might get something on +it, likely and have a square meal. + +JOHN + +I won't part with it. + +LIZA + +Why? + +JOHN + +I feel I won't. I never have. + +LIZA + +Feel you won't? + +JOHN + +Yes, I have that feeling very strongly. +I've kept it always. Everything else is gone. + +LIZA + +Had it long? + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had +it one morning in a train. It's odd that I +can't remember. + +LIZA + +But wot d'yer keep it for? + +JOHN + +Just for luck. + +[LIZA breaks into laughter.] + +LIZA + +Well, you are funny. + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is funny. + +LIZA + +You're as down in your luck as ever you +can be, and you go keeping a thing like that +for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier. + +JOHN + +Well, what would you do? + +LIZA + +Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and +I had rotten luck. Rotten luck I had. +Rotten. + +JOHN + +And what did you do? + +LIZA + +Took it back to the shop. + +JOHN + +Yes? + +LIZA + +They was quite obliging about it. Gave +me a wooden one instead, what was +guaranteed. Luck changed very soon altogether. + +JOHN + +Could luck like mine change? + +LIZA + +Course it could. + +JOHN + +Look at me. + +LIZA + +You'll be all right one of these days. Give +me that mascot. + +JOHN + +I--I hardly like to. One has an awfully +strong feeling with it. + +LIZA + +Give it to me. It's no good. + +JOHN + +I--I don't like to. + +LIZA + +You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing +you no good. I know all about them mascots. +Give it me. + +JOHN + +Well, I'll give it you. You're the +first woman that's been kind to me since +... I'm on my beam ends. + +[Face in hands--tears.] + +LIZA + +There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am. +These mascots! One's better without 'em. +Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a +nice supper coming. + +[She puts it in a corner of the +mantelpiece and hammers it. It smashes. + +The photographs of the four children +change slightly. The Colonel gives place +to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red. +JOHN's clothes become neat and tidy. The +hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather +duster. Nothing else changes.] + +A VOICE [off, in agony] + +Allah! Allah! Allah! + +LIZA + +Some foreign gentleman must have hurt +himself. + +JOHN + +H'm. Sounds like it... Liza. + +[LIZA, dusting the photographs on the +wall, just behind the corner of the +mantelpiece.] + +LIZA + +Funny. Thought I--thought I 'ad a +hammer in my hand. + +JOHN + +Really, Liza, I often think you have. You +really should be more careful. Only--only +yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's +photograph. + +LIZA + +Thought it was a hammer. + +JOHN + +Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a +mistake you make too often, Liza. You--you +must be more careful. + +LIZA + +Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad +an 'ammer in my 'and, though. + +[She goes to tidy the little supper table. +Enter MARY with food on a plate.] + +MARY + +I've brought you your supper, John. + +JOHN + +Thanks, Mary. I--I think I must have +taken a nap. + +MARY + +Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along +to bed now, Liza. Good gracious, it's +half-past eleven. + +[MARY makes final arrangements of +supper table.] + +LIZA + +Thank you, mum. + +[Exit ] + +JOHN + +Mary. + +MARY + +Yes, John. + +JOHN + +I--I thought I'd caught that train. + +Curtain + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of If, by +Lord Dunsany [Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1311 *** diff --git a/1311-h/1311-h.htm b/1311-h/1311-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..45123da --- /dev/null +++ b/1311-h/1311-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,9497 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + If, by Lord Dunsany + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1311 ***</div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + If + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Lord Dunsany + </h2> + <h4> + <i>[Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron]</i> + </h4> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + DRAMATIS PERSONAE + </h3> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + JOHN BEAL + MARY BEAL + LIZA + ALI + BERT, BILL: two railway porters + THE MAN IN THE CORNER + MIRALDA CLEMENT + HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN + DAOUD + ARCHIE BEAL + BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers + BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass + ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers + OMAR, a singer + ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz + THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + + Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc. + </pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>IF</b></big> </a> + </p> + <br /> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> ACT I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> ACT II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> ACT III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> ACT IV </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h1> + IF + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT I + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE 1 + </h3> + <p> + A small railway station near London. Time: Ten years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + 'Ow goes it, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Bloody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? What's wrong? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + What's up then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Nothing ain't right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, wot's the worry? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot's the worry? They don't give you better wages nor a dog, and then they + thinks they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say wot they likes, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ain't I! Proper. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, wot about, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let a lidy get into a train. That's + wot about. Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the train was moving. + Thought it was dangerous. Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Wot? The other day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Tuesday? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why. The one that dropped her bag? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. They writes back she shouldn't + 'av got in. She writes back she should. Then they gets on to me. Any more + of it and I'll... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I will. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Don't you, Bill. You've got your family to consider. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Well, anyway, I won't let any more of them passengers go jumping into + trains any more, not when they're moving, I won't. When the train gets in, + doors shut. That's the rule. And they'll 'ave to abide by it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me on the mat again and talk all + that stuff to me. No, if someone 'as to suffer... 'Ere she is. + </p> + <p> + [Noise of approaching train heard.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Ay, that's her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + And shut goes the door. + </p> + <p> + [Enter JOHN BEAL.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Wait a moment, Bill. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Not if he's... Not if he was ever so. + </p> + <p> + JOHN [preparing to pass] + </p> + <p> + Good morning.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Can't come through. Too late. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Too late? Why, the train's only just in. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Don't care. It's the rule. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, nonsense. [He carries on.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + It's too late. I tell you you can't come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But that's absurd. I want to catch my train. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + It's too late. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Let him go, Bill. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I'm blowed if I let him go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I want to catch my train. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed back by the face. JOHN advances + towards BILL looking like fighting. The train has gone.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Only doing my duty. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding it isn't good enough. He shrugs + his shoulders, turns round and goes away.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even with you one of these days, + you..... and some way you won't expect. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 2 + </p> + <p> + Yesterday evening. + </p> + <p> + [Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in their suburban home.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to plant an acacia? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + An acacia, what's that, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it's one of those trees that they have. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But why, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, you see the house is called The Acacias, and it seems rather silly + not to have at least one. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, I don't think that matters. Lots of places are called lots of things. + Everyone does. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, but it might help the postman. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't know an acacia if he saw it any more + than I should. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Quite right, Mary, you're always right. What a clever head you've got! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if you like. I'll ask about it at the + grocer's. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You can't get one there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + No, but he's sure to know where it can be got. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Where do they grow, Mary? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, somewhere. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish I could have gone abroad for a + week or so to places like where acacias grow naturally. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, would you really, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, not really. But I just think of it sometimes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Where would you have gone? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. The East or some such place. I've often heard people + speak of it, and somehow it seemed so... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + The East, John? Not the East. I don't think the East somehow is quite + respectable. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O well, it's all right, I never went, and never shall go now. It doesn't + matter. + </p> + <p> + MARY [the photographs catching her eye] + </p> + <p> + O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dreadful thing happened. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What, Mary? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, and when she came to Jane's she + says she hadn't really begun to dust it, only looked at it, and it fell + down, and that bit of glass is broken right out of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Ask her not to look at it so hard another time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, what do you mean, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, and as I know you believe in + Liza... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, of course not. But she mustn't look so hard another time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + And it's poor little Jane's photograph. She will feel it so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, that's all right, we'll get it mended. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy about it she can have Alice's + frame. Alice is too young to notice it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, George, then. + </p> + <p> + MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] + </p> + <p> + Well, perhaps George might give up his frame. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make her do it now? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. She shall do it to-morrow by the time + you get back from the office. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right. It might have been worse. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It might have been worse. It might have been Aunt Martha. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'd sooner it had been her than poor little Jane. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph she'd have walked in next day and + seen it for certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd have been trouble. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But, John, how could she have known? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know, but she would have; it's a kind of devilish sense she has. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What's the matter? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! What a dreadful word you used. And on a Sunday too! Really! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. I'm very sorry. + </p> + <p> + [Enter LIZA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which isn't, properly speaking, a + gentleman at all. Not what I should call one, that is, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! Whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + He's black. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Black? + </p> + <p> + JOHN [reassuring] + </p> + <p> + O... yes, that would be Ali. A queer old customer, Mary; perfectly + harmless. Our firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; and then one + day... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But what is he doing here, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, one day he turned up in London; broke, he said; and wanted the firm + to give him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for giving him ten + shillings. But I said "here's a man that's helped us in making thousands + of pounds. Let's give him fifty." + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Fifty pounds! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. Ten shillings would have + been an insult to the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. You + don't know what he'd have done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, he doesn't want more? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I expect he's come to thank me. He seemed pretty keen on getting some + cash. Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was doing in London. Never + can tell with these fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + How did he trace you here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, got the address at the office. Briggs and Cater won't let theirs be + known. Not got such a smart little house, I expect. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't like letting people in that you don't know where they come from. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, he comes from the East. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Yes, I—I know. But the East doesn't seem quite to count, somehow, as + the proper sort of place to come from, does it, dear? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some place you can put your finger on. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's any harm in him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, just for once. But we can't make a practice of it. And you don't + want to be thinking of business on a Sunday, your only day off. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it isn't business, you know. He only wants to say thank you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I hope he won't say it in some queer Eastern way. You don't know what + these people.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, no. Show him up, Liza. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + As you like, mum. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + And you gave him fifty pounds? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose that's what he got. Cater paid + him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It seems a lot of money. But I think, as the man is actually coming up the + stairs, I'm glad he's got something to be grateful for. + </p> + <p> + [Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Protector of the Just. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, er—yes. Good evening. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + My soul was parched and you bathed it in rivers of gold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, ah, yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal shall be magnified and called + blessed. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Ha, yes. Very good of you. + </p> + <p> + ALI [advancing, handing trinket] + </p> + <p> + Protector of the Just, my offering. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Your offering? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Hush. It is beyond price. I am not bidden to sell it. I was in my + extremity, but I was not bidden to sell it. It is a token of gratitude, a + gift, as it came to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + As it came to you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Yes, it was given me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. Then you had given somebody what you call rivers of gold? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Not gold; it was in Sahara. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, and what do you give in the Sahara instead of gold? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Water. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And—and what happened? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. It's a nice little thing, but [to + ALI], but you think a lot of it, don't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But look here, what does it do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, at night, and wishes, saying + "At a certain hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will go back eight, + ten, even twelve years if he will, into the past, and do a thing again, or + act otherwise than he did. The day passes; the ten years are accomplished + once again; he is here once more; but he is what he might have become had + he done that one thing otherwise. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I don't understand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + To-night you wish. All to-morrow you live the last ten years; a new way, + master, a new way, how you please. To-morrow night you are here, what + those years have made you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + By Jove! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Have nothing to do with it, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, do you mean one could go back ten + years? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word for it. But look here, you + can't live ten years in a day, you know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + My master has power over time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John, don't have anything to do with him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary. But who is your master? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in the greenest mountains. The + years are his dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard it safely, for + his power is in this more than in all the peaks of his native hills. See + what I give you, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, really, it's very good of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much obliged for your kind offer, which + we are so sorry we can't avail ourselves of. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + One moment, Mary. Do you mean that I can go back ten years, and live till—till + now again, and only be away a day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Start early and you will be here before midnight. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Would eight o'clock do! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + You could be back by eleven that evening. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't quite see how ten years could go in a single day. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + They will go as dreams go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Time is the slave of my master + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm only trying to see what he'll + say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + All right, John, only... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Is there no step that you would wish untrodden, nor stride that you would + make where once you faltered? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I say, why don't you use it yourself? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + I? I am afraid of the past. But you Engleesh, and the great firm of + Briggs, Cater, and Beal; you are afraid of nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Ha, ha. Well—I wouldn't go quite as far as that, but—well, + give me the crystal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Don't take it, John! Don't take it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + If it can do all that—if it can do all that... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Why, you might never have met me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Never have met you? I never thought of that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Leave the past alone, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I want to hear about it, it's so + odd, it's so what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I ever——- + [To ALI.] You mean if I work hard for ten years, which will only be all + to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank of England to-morrow night. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, don't do it, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But you said—I'll be back here before midnight to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + It is so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But the Governor of the Bank of England would live in the City, and he'd + have a much bigger house anyway. He wouldn't live in Lewisham. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + The crystal will bring you to this house when the hour is accomplished, + even tomorrow night. If you be the great banker you will perhaps come to + chastise one of your slaves who will dwell in this house. If you be head + of Briggs and Cater you will come to give an edict to one of your firm. + Perchance this street will be yours and you will come to show your power + unto it. But you will come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And if the house is not mine? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! John! Don't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Still you will come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Shall I remember? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If I want to do anything different to what I did, how shall I remember + when I get back there? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Don't. Don't do anything different, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Choose just before the hour of the step you desire to change. Memory + lingers a little at first, and fades away slowly. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Five minutes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even ten. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Then I can change one thing. After that I forget. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, it's very good of you to make me this nice present, I'm sure. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart impels. So shall it come + back one day to the hills that are brighter than grass, made richer by the + gratitude of many men. And my master shall smile thereat and the vale + shall be glad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's very good of you, I'm sure. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering with what's gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + My master's power is in your hands. Farewell. + </p> + <p> + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I say, he's gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, he's a dreadful man. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I never really meant to take it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, I wish you hadn't + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why? I'm not going to use it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not going to use it, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, no. Not if you don't want me to. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, I'm so glad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And besides, I don't want things different. I've got fond of this little + house. And Briggs is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit of an ass, + but there's no harm in him. In fact, I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even + change Aunt Martha now. + </p> + <p> + [Points at frowning framed photograph centrally hung.] + </p> + <p> + You remember when she first came and you said "Where shall we hang her?" I + said the cellar. You said we couldn't. So she had to go there. But I + wouldn't change her now. I suppose there are old watch-dogs like her in + every family. I wouldn't change anything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, wouldn't you really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I wouldn't even change Aunt Martha. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. I couldn't bear to tamper with + the past. You don't know what it is, it's what's gone. But if it really + isn't gone at all, if it can be dug up like that, why you don't know what + mightn't happen! I don't mind the future, but if the past can come back + like that.... O, don't, don't, John. Don't think of it. It isn't canny. + There's the children, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little ornament. I won't use it. + And I tell you I'm content. [Happily] It's no use to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you really? Is there nothing that + you'd have had different? I sometimes thought you'd rather that Jane had + been a boy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the time, but Arthur's good enough + for me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever regret at all? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you regret, Mary? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would have been better green, but you + would have it red. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I regret. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't suppose there's many men can say that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I don't suppose they can. They're not all married to you. I don't + suppose many of them can. + </p> + <p> + [MARY smiles.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I should think that very few could say that they regretted nothing... very + few in the whole world. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I won't say nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What is it you regret, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, there is one thing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + And what is that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + One thing has rankled a bit. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Yes, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth mentioning. But it rankled for years. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What was it, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it seems silly to mention it. It was nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, if you want to know, it was once when I missed a train. I don't + mind missing a train, but it was the way the porter pushed me out of the + way. He pushed me by the face. I couldn't hit back, because, well, you + know what lawyers make of it; I might have been ruined. So it just + rankled. It was years ago before we married. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in spite of him. I sometimes think + of it still. Silly of me, isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What a brute of a man. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. But it rankled. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd no right to touch you! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, never mind. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I should like to have been there... I'd have... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd like to have caught it in sp... + [An idea seizes him.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing that can be helped. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Can be helped, John? Whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I mean he'd no right to stop me catching that train. I've got the crystal, + and I'll catch it yet! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. And I won't. I'm too content, + Mary. But this can't alter it. This is nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What were you going to catch the train for, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + For London. I wasn't at the office then. It was a business appointment. + There was a man who had promised to get me a job, and I was going up to... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John, it may alter your whole life! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never turned up. I got a letter from + him apologising to me before I posted mine to him. It turned out he never + meant to help me, mere meaningless affabilities. He never came to London + that day at all. I should have taken the next train back. That can't + affect the future. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What difference could it make? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + N-n-no. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's wedding. I take it one has to go to + one's brother's wedding. It would take a pretty big change to alter that. + And. you were her bridesmaid. We were bound to meet. And having once met, + well, there you are. If we'd met by chance, in a train, or anything like + that, well, then I admit some little change might alter it. But when we + met at ARCHIE's wedding and you were her bridesmaid, why, Mary, it's a + cert. Besides, I believe in predestination. It was our fate; we couldn't + have missed it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + No, I suppose not; still.. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't like it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that infernal train. Just think of it, + annoyed on and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'd rather you didn't, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, suppose there's a railway accident? You might be killed, and we + should never meet. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + There wasn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + There wasn't, John? What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen. It got safely to London + just ten years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Why, nor there was. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You see how groundless your fears are. I shall catch that train, and all + the rest will happen the same as before. Just think Mary, all those old + days again. I wish I could take you with me. But you soon will be. But + just think of the old days coming back again. Hampton Court again and Kew, + and Richmond Park again with all the May. And that bun you bought, and the + corked ginger-beer, and those birds singing and the 'bus past Isleworth. + O, Mary, you wouldn't grudge me that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, well then all right, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And you will remember there wasn't an accident, won't you? + </p> + <p> + MARY [resignedly, sadly] + </p> + <p> + O, yes, John. And you won't try to get rich or do anything silly, will + you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, Mary. I only want to catch that train. I'm content with the rest. The + same things must happen, and they must lead me the same way, to you, Mary. + Good night, now, dear. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Good night? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I shall stay here on the sofa holding the crystal and thinking. Then I'll + have a biscuit and start at seven. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Thinking, John? What about? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Getting it clear in my mind what I want to do. That one thing and the rest + the same. There must be no mistakes. + </p> + <p> + MARY [sadly] + </p> + <p> + Good night, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Have supper ready at eleven. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Very well, John. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] + </p> + <p> + I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. + </p> + <p> + [He takes the crystal and closes it up in the palm of his left hand.] + </p> + <p> + I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and a day, at, at—8.10 a.m. + to-morrow; 8.10 a.m. to-morrow, 8.10. + </p> + <p> + [Re-enter MARY in doorway.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! John! You are sure he did get his fifty pounds? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the money? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Cater paid him, I didn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Are you sure that Cater didn't give him ten shillings? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have done! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Hmm. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 3 + </p> + <p> + Scene: As in Act I, Scene 1. Time. Ten years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + 'Ow goes it, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Bloody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, what's wrong? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + What's up, then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Nothing ain't right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, wot's the worry? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot's the worry? They don't give you better wages nor a dog, and then they + thinks they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say wot they likes, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ain't I! Proper. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? Wot about, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let a lidy get into a train. That's + wot about. Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the train was moving. + Thought it was dangerous. Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Wot? The other day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT? + </p> + <p> + Tuesday? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? The one that dropped her bag? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. They writes back she shouldn't + 'av got in. She writes back she should. Then they gets on to me. Any more + of it and I'll... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I will. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Don't you, Bill. You've got your family to consider. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Well, anyway, I won't let any more of them passengers go jumping into + trains any more, not when they're moving, I won't. When the train gets in, + doors shut. That's the rule, and they'll have to abide by it. + </p> + <p> + [Enter JOHN BEAL.] + </p> + <p> + BILL [touching his hat] Good morning, sir. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN does not answer, but walks to the door between them.] + </p> + <p> + Carry your bag, sir? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Go to hell! + </p> + <p> + [Exit through door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ullo. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Somebody's been getting at 'im. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young feller. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Never knew 'im like this. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave yer? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Never in my life. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Well, I never. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + 'Ad some trouble o' some kind. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Must 'ave. + </p> + <p> + [Train is heard.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying... + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 4 + </p> + <p> + In a second-class railway carriage. + </p> + <p> + Time: Same morning as Scene 1, Act I. + </p> + <p> + Noise, and a scene drawn past the windows. The scene, showing a momentary + glimpse of fair English hills, is almost entirely placards, "GIVE HER + BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," alternately, for ever. + </p> + <p> + Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man. + </p> + <p> + All sit in stoical silence like the two images near Luxor. The man has the + window seat, and therefore the right of control over the window. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + Would you mind having the window open? + </p> + <p> + THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his shoulders in a shivery way] + </p> + <p> + Er—certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. He opens the window.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + Thank you so much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict her. Stoical silence again.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + Would you mind having it shut now? I think it is rather cold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + Certainly. + </p> + <p> + [He shuts it. Silence again.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + I think I'd like the window open again now for a bit. It is rather stuffy, + isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + Well, I think it's very cold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + O, do you? But would you mind opening it for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't mind. + </p> + <p> + [She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and her pretty face expresses the + resignation of the Christian martyr in the presence of lions. This for the + benefit of John.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Allow me, madam. + </p> + <p> + [He leans across the window's rightful owner, a bigger man than he, and + opens his window. + </p> + <p> + MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders and, quite sensibly, turns to his + paper.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, thank you so much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Don't mention it. + </p> + <p> + [Silence again.] + </p> + <p> + VOICES OF PORTERS [Off] + </p> + <p> + Fan Kar, Fan Kar. + </p> + <p> + [MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Could you tell me where this is? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. Elephant and Castle. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Thank you so much. It was kind of you to protect me from that horrid man. + He wanted to suffocate me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very glad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I should have been afraid to have done it in spite of him. It was splendid + of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, that was nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, it was, really. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Only too glad to help you in any little way. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It was so kind of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, not at all. + </p> + <p> + [Silence for a bit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I've nobody to help me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Er, er, haven't you really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No, nobody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'd be very glad to help you in any little way. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I wonder if you could advise me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I'd do my best. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You see, I have nobody to advise me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, of course not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I live with my aunt, and she doesn't understand. I've no father or mother. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, er, er, really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. And an uncle died and he left me a hundred thousand pounds. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it out of contrariness as much as + anything. He was always like that to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Was he? Was he really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per cent. He never liked me. Thought I + was too—I don't know what. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + That was five years ago, and I've never got a penny of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really. But, but that's not right. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [sadly] + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Where's it invested? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + In Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Where's that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I don't quite know. I never was good at geography. I never quite knew + where Persia ends. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And what kind of an investment was it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + There's a pass in some mountains that they can get camels over, and a huge + toll is levied on everything that goes by; that is the custom of the tribe + that lives there, and I believe the toll is regularly collected. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And who gets it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben Hussein. But my uncle lent him + all this money, and the toll on the camels was what they call the + security. They always carry gold and turquoise, you know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Do they? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, they get it from the rivers. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It does seem a shame his not paying, doesn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A shame? I should think it is. An awful shame. Why, it's a crying shame. + He ought to go to prison. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard to find him. It isn't as if it was + this side of Persia. It's being on the other side that is such a pity. If + only it was in a country like, like... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'd soon find him. I'd... Why, a man like that deserves anything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is good of you to say that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why, I'd... And you say you never got a penny? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, that is a shame. I call that a downright shame. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Now, what ought I to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Do? Well, now, you know in business there's nothing like being on the + spot. When you're on the spot you can—but then, of course, it's so + far. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is, isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Still, I think you should go if you could. If only I could offer to help + you in any way, I would gladly, but of course... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What would you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and then... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and make him see that you didn't + keep all that money that belonged to someone else. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Would you really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Nothing would please me better. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Would you really? Would you go all that way? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's just the sort of thing that I should like, apart from the crying + shame. The man ought to be... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + We're getting into Holborn. Would you come and lunch somewhere with me and + talk it over? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to see a man on business first. I've + come up to see him. And then after that, after that there was something I + wanted to do after that. I can't think what it was. But something I wanted + to do after that. O, heavens, what was it? + </p> + <p> + [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Can't you think? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. O, well, it can't have been so very important. And yet... Well, where + shall we lunch? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Gratzenheim's. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Right. What time? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + One-thirty. Would that suit? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like Hussein in prison. I'd like... O, I + beg your pardon. + </p> + <p> + [He hurries to open the door. Exit MIRALDA.] + </p> + <p> + Now what was it I wanted to do afterwards? + </p> + <p> + [Throws hand to forehead.] O, never mind. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT II + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE + </h3> + <p> + JOHN's tent in Al Shaldomir. There are two heaps of idols, left and right, + lying upon the ground inside the tent. DAOUD carries another idol in his + arms. JOHN looks at its face. + </p> + <p> + Six months have elapsed since the scene in the second-class railway + carriage. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + This god is holy. + </p> + <p> + [He points to the left heap. DAOUD carries it there and lays it on the + heap.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You are in no wise to call me great master. Have not I said so? I am not + your master. I am helping you people. I know better than you what you + ought to do, because I am English. But that's all. I'm not your master, + See? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, go and get some more idols. Hurry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, I go. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I can't make these people out. + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [returning] + </p> + <p> + I have three gods. + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to the two smaller idols + first] These two are holy. This one is unholy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Put them on the heap. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD does so, two left, one right.] + </p> + <p> + Get some more. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD salaams. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [Looking at right heap.] What a—what a filthy people + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD with two idols.] + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny] + </p> + <p> + This god is holy, this is unholy. + </p> + <p> + [Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bowler" hat.] + </p> + <p> + Why, ARCHIE, this is splendid of you! You've come! Why, that's splendid! + All that way! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE, it's grand of you to come! I never ought to have asked it of you, + only... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that's all right. But what in the world are you doing? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE, it's splendid of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all this? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, this. Well, well they're the very oddest people here. It's a long + story. But I wanted to tell you first how enormously grateful I am to you + for coming. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that's all right. But I want to know what you're doing with all these + genuine antiques. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, ARCHIE, the fact of it is they're a real odd lot of people here. + I've learnt their language, more or less, but I don't think I quite + understand them yet. A lot of them are Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed, + you know. He's dead. But a lot of them worship these things, and... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what have you got 'em all in here for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with them, but, well, I simply had + to. You see there's two sorts of idols here; they offer fruit and rats to + some of them; they lay them on their hands or their laps. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why do they offer them rats? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. They don't know either. It's the right thing to do out + here, it's been the right thing for hundreds of years; nobody exactly + knows why. It's like the bows we have on evening shoes, or anything else. + But it's all right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what are you putting them in heaps for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Because there's the other kind, the ones with wide mouths and rust round + them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They offer blood to them, ARCHIE. They pour it down their throats. + Sometimes they kill people, sometimes they only bleed them. It depends how + much blood the idol wants. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + How much blood it wants? Good Lord! How do they know? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The priests tell them. Sometimes they fill them up to their necks—they're + all hollow, you know. In spring it's awful. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why are they worse in spring? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't know. The priests ask for more blood then. Much more. They say it + always was so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And you're stopping it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm letting them worship those. Of + course, it's idolatry and all that kind of thing, but I don't like + interfering short of actual murder. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And they're obeying you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + 'M, y-yes. I think so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + You must have got a great hold over them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I don't know about that. It's the pass that counts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + The pass? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that place you came over. It's the only way anyone can get here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass affect these idols? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It affects everything here. If that pass were closed no living man would + ever enter or leave, or even hear of, this country. It's absolutely cut + off except for that one pass. Why, ARCHIE, it isn't even on the map. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody. No one else counts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And who does own it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called Hussein, but Miss Clement's + uncle, a man called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer, seems to have come + this way; and I think he understood what this pass is worth. Anyhow, he + lent Hussein a big sum of money and got an acknowledgment from Hussein. + Old Hinnard must have been a wonderfully shrewd man. For that + acknowledgment is no more legal than an I.O.U., and Hussein is simply a + brigand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Not very good security. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself respects that piece of parchment + he signed. There's the name of some god or other written on it Hussein is + frightened of. Now you see how things are. That pass is as holy as all the + gods that there are in Al Shaldomir. Hussein possesses it. But he owes an + enormous sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am here as her agent; and + you've come to help me like a great sportsman. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, never mind that. Well, it all seems pretty simple. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I don't know, ARCHIE. Hussein admits the debt, but... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't know what he'll do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Wants watching, does he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of responsible for all these silly people. + Somebody's got to look after them. Daoud! + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [off] + </p> + <p> + Great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Bring in some more gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I can't get them to stop calling me absurd titles. They're so infernally + Oriental. + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He's got two big ones this time. + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE] + </p> + <p> + You see, there is rust about their mouths. [To DAOUD]: They are both + unholy. + </p> + <p> + [He points to R. heap, and DAOUD puts them there. To DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + Bring in some more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, there are no more gods in Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It is well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + What orders, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Listen. At night you shall come and take these gods away. These shall be + worshipped again in their own place, these you shall cast into the great + river and tell no man where you cast them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You will do this, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I am sorry to make you do it. You are sad that you have to do it. Yet it + must be done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, I am sad, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But why are you sad, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, in times you do not know these gods were holy. In times you + have not guessed. In old centuries, master, perhaps before the pass. Men + have prayed to them, sorrowed before them, given offerings to them. The + light of old hearths has shone on them, flames from old battles. The + shadow of the mountains has fallen on them, so many times, master, so many + times. Dawn and sunset have shone on them, master, like firelight + flickering; dawn and sunset, dawn and sunset, flicker, flicker, flicker + for century after century. They have sat there watching the dawns like old + men by the fire. They are so old, master, so old. And some day dawn and + sunset will die away and shine on the world no more, and they would have + still sat on in the cold. And now they go... They are our history, master, + they are our old times. Though they be bad times they are our times, + master; and now they go. I am sad, master, when the old gods go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But they are bad gods, Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I am sad when the bad gods go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They must go, Daoud. See, there is no one watching. Take them now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, great master. + </p> + <p> + [He takes up the largest of the gods with rust.] + </p> + <p> + Come, Aho-oomlah, thou shalt not drink Nideesh. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Was Nideesh to have been sacrificed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + He was to have been drunk by Aho-oomlah. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Nideesh. Who is he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + He is my son. + </p> + <p> + [Exit with Aho-oomlah. JOHN BEAL almost gasps.] + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE BEAL [who has been looking round the tent] + </p> + <p> + What has he been saying? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They're—they're a strange people. I can't make them out. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Is that the heap that oughtn't to be worshipped? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, do you know, I'm going to chuck this hat there. It doesn't seem to + me somehow to be any more right here than those idols would be at home. + Odd isn't it? Here goes. + </p> + <p> + [He throws hat on right heap of idols. JOHN BEAL does not smile.] + </p> + <p> + Why, what's the matter? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't like to see a decent Christian hat among these filthy idols. + They've all got rust on their mouths. I don't like to see it, Archie; it's + sort of like what they call an omen. I don't like it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Do they keep malaria here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't think so. Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Then what's the matter, Johnny? Your nerves are bad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You don't know these people, and I've brought you out here. I feel kind of + responsible. If Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't know what he'd do, with + all those idols and all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He'll give 'em a drink, you mean. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Don't, ARCHIE. There's no saying. And I feel responsible for you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, they can have my hat. It looks silly, somehow. I don't know why. + What are we going to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, now that you've come we can go ahead. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Righto. What at? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and get everything clear in black and + white, and see just what he owes to Miss Miralda Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But they don't keep accounts here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How do you know? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, of course they don't. One can see that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But they must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, you haven't changed a bit for your six months here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Haven't changed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. Just quietly thinking of business. You'll be a great business man, + Johnny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But we must do business; that's what I came here for. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + You'll never make these people do it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what do you suggest? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Let's have a look at old Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's what I have been waiting for. Daoud! + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [off] + </p> + <p> + Master. [Enters.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass and beat on the outer door. Say + that I desire to see him. Pray him to come to my tent. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD bows and Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace to ask Hussein to come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Lives in a palace, does he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place. It's bigger than the Mansion + House, much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And you're going to teach him to keep accounts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems almost like being rude to the Lord + Mayor. But there's two things I can't stand—cheating in business is + one and murder's another. I've got to interfere. You see, if one happens + to know the right from wrong as we do, we've simply got to tell people who + don't. But it isn't pleasant. I almost wish I'd never come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, it's the greatest sport in the world. It's splendid. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't see it that way. To me those idols are just horrid murder. And + this man owes money to this girl with no one to look after her, and he's + got to pay. But I hate being rude to a man in a place like the Mansion + House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord, who am I? It seems such cheek. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is she pretty? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What, Miss Miralda? Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what I mean is—what's she like? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say. She's, she's tall and she's fair + and she's got blue eyes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is she? How does she strike you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets this money, and she hasn't got + any job that's any good, and no real prospects bar this, and nobody + particular by birth, and doesn't know anybody who is, and lives in the + least fashionable suburb and can only just afford a second-class fare + and... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes, go on. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + And yet somehow she sort of seems like a—like a queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Lord above us! And what kind of a queen? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. Well, look here, ARCHIE, it's only my impression. I don't + know her well yet. It's only my impression. I only tell you in absolute + confidence. You won't pass it on to anybody, of course. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, no. Go on. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I don't know, only she seemed more like well, a kind of autocrat, + you know, who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't mean that, only... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + So you're not going to marry her? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd never dare ask her. She's not that + sort. I tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good Lord!) she'd be a queen + if it wasn't for Hussein, or something very like one. We can't go marrying + queens. Anyhow, not one like her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why not one like her? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I tell you—she's a—well, a kind of goddess. You couldn't ask + her if she loved you. It would be such, such... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Such what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Such infernal cheek. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with her. But it seems to me you'll + be seeing a good deal of her some day if we pull this off. And then, my + boy-o, you'll be going and getting in love with her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to the Queen of Sheba. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you from her all I can. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Protect me from her? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, because there's lots of other girls and it seems to me you might be + happier with some of them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But you haven't even seen her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect you I somehow think I will. And + if I'm not ... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, and what then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does everything. I can't protect you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but... + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [off] + </p> + <p> + I am here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Be seen. + </p> + <p> + [HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike Bluebeard.] + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] My brother. + </p> + <p> + [ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is + over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and Hussein then bow to each other.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + You desired my presence. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I am honoured. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + And I. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, lent you one thousand greater + gold pieces, which in our money is one hundred thousand pounds, as you + acknowledge. [Hussein nods his head.] And every year you were to pay him + for this two hundred and fifty of your greater gold pieces—as you + acknowledge also. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + And this you have not yet had chance to pay, but owe it still. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + And now Hinnard is dead. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Peace be with him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who instructs me to be her agent. + What have you to say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Peace be with Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You acknowledge your debt to this lady, Miss Miralda Clement? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I know her not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You will not pay your debt? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I will pay. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + If you bring the gold to my tent, my brother will take it to Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I do not pay to Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + To whom do you pay? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I pay to Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Hinnard is dead. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I pay to Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How will you pay to Hinnard? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + If he be buried in the sea... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He is not buried at sea. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + If he be buried by any river I go to the god of rivers. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He is buried on land near no river. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Therefore I will go to a bronze god of earth, very holy, having the soil + in his care and the things of earth. I will take unto him the greater + pieces of gold due up to the year when the white traveller died, and will + melt them in fire at his feet by night on the mountains, saying, "O, + Lruru-onn (this is his name) take this by the way of earth to the grave of + Hinnard." And so I shall be free of my debt before all gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But not before me. I am English. And we are greater than gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What's that, Johnny? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He won't pay, but I told him we're English and that they're greater than + all his bronze gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's right, Johnny. + </p> + <p> + [HUSSEIN looks fiercely at ARCHIE. He sees ARCHIE's hat lying before a big + idol. He points at the hat and looks in the face of the idol.] + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [to the idol] Drink! Drink! + </p> + <p> + [He bows. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What's that he's saying? + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [meditatively] O, nothing—nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He won't pay, oh? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, not to Miss Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Who to? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + To one of his gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That won't do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What'll we do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in England. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, it isn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + If we were in England... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I know; if we were in England you could call a policeman. I tell you what + it is, Johnny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I tell you what; you want to see more of Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, because at the present moment our friend Hussein is a craftier fellow + than you, and looks like getting the best of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help us? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, because you want to be a bit craftier than Hussein, and I fancy she + might make you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + She? How? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We're mostly made what we are by some woman or other. We think it's our + own cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are you're no match for + Hussein, but if you altered... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, ARCHIE; where did you get all those ideas from? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You never used to talk like that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You haven't been getting in love, ARCHIE, have you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What are we to do about Hussein? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda. I got a letter from her the same + day I got yours. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What does she say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I couldn't make it out. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What were her words? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + She said she was going into it closer. She underlined closer. What could + she mean by that? How could she get closer? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, the same way as I did. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How do you mean? I don't understand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + By coming here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + By coming here? But she can't come here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why not? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Because it's impossible. Absolutely impossible. Why—good Lord—she + couldn't come here. Why, she'd want a chaperon and a house and—and—everything. + Good Lord, she couldn't come here. It would be—well it would be + impossible—it couldn't be done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, all right. Then I don't know what she meant. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE! You don't really think she'd come here? You don't really think it, + do you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of girl might do, but of + course I can't say... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Good Lord, ARCHIE! That would be awful. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why? But what would I do? Where would she go? Where would her chaperon go? + The chaperon would be some elderly lady. Why, it would kill her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, if it did you've never met her, so you needn't go into mourning for + an elderly lady that you don't know; not yet, anyway. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, of course not. You're laughing at me, ARCHIE. But for the moment I + took you seriously. Of course, she won't come. One can go into a thing + closely without doing it absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't it + be an awful situation if she did. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + All alone with me here? No, impossible. And the country isn't civilised. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL. + </p> + <p> + Women aren't civilised. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Women aren't...? Good Lord, ARCHIE, what an awful remark. What do you + mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We're tame, they're wild. We like all the dull things and the quiet + things, they like all the romantic things and the dangerous things. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, ARCHIE, it's just the other way about. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and all the dangerous things. But + why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why? Because we like them, I suppose. I can't think of any other reason. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I hate danger. Don't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Er—well, yes, I suppose I do, really. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Of course you do. We all do. It's the women that put us up to it. She's + putting you up to this. And the more she puts you up to the more likely is + Hussein to get it in his fat neck. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But—but you don't mean you'd hurt Hussein? Not—not badly, I + mean. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We're under her orders, Johnny. See what she says. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You, you don't really think she'll come here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Of course I do, and the best thing too. It's her show; she ought to come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But, but you don't understand. She's just a young girl, A girl like Miss + Miralda couldn't come out here over the pass and down these mountains, + she'd never stand it, and as for the chaperon... You've never met Miss + Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to get you to go from Bromley to + this place can look after herself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't see what that's got to do with it. She was in trouble and I had to + help her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way here from Blackheath, and + everyone will have to help her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What beats me is how you can have the very faintest inkling of what she's + like without ever having seen her and without my having spoken of her to + you for more than a minute. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird, you're not a traveller by + nature, barring your one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took you + there. And contrariwise, as they say in a book you've never read, you're a + levelheaded business man and a hardworking respectable stay-at-home. You + meet a girl in a train, and the next time I see you you're in a place that + isn't marked on the map and telling it what gods it ought to worship and + what gods it ought to have agnosticism about. Well, I say some girl. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I must say you make the most extraordinary deductions, but it was + awfully good of you to come, and I ought to be grateful; and I am, too, + I'm awfully grateful; and I ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go + ahead. You shall say what you like and do what you like. It isn't many + brothers that would do what you've done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that's nothing. I like this country. I'm glad I came. And if I can help + you with Hussein, why all the better. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It's an awful country, Archie, but we've got to see this through. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Does she know all about Hussein? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, everything. I've written fully. + </p> + <p> + OMAR [Off] + </p> + <p> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, The nightingales that guard thy ways... + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [shouting| + </p> + <p> + O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said it was an awful country. They sit + down outside one's tent and do that kind of thing for no earthly reason. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I'd let them sing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, you can't have people doing that kind of thing. + </p> + <p> + OMAR [in doorway] + </p> + <p> + Master, I go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But why do you come? + </p> + <p> + <br /> OMAR + </p> + <p> + I came to sing a joyous song to you, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why did you want to sing me a joyous song? + </p> + <p> + <br /> OMAR + </p> + <p> + Because a lady is riding out of the West. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + A lady out of... Good Lord! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + She's coming, Johnny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said a lady; there'd be the chaperon + too. There'd be two of them if it was Miss Miralda. But he said a lady. + One lady. It can't be her. A girl like that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean + off the map. Oh, no, it isn't possible. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't worry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the situation's impossible. People would + talk. Don't you see what people would say? And where could they go? Who + would look after them? Do try and understand how awful it is. But it + isn't. It's impossible. It can't be them. For heaven's sake run out and + see if it is; and (good Lord!) I haven't brushed my hair all day, and, and—oh, + look at me. + </p> + <p> + [He rushes to camp mirror. Exit ARCHIE. + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately. + </p> + <p> + Enter ARCHIE.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + It's what you call THEM. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What I call THEM? Whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, it's her. She's just like what you said. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can never have been able to afford + a horse. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + She's on a camel. She'll be here in a moment. [He goes to door.] Hurry up + with that hair; she's dismounted. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, Lord! What's the chaperon like? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, she's attending to that herself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Attending to it herself? What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I expect she'll attend to most things. + </p> + <p> + [Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in doorway of tent, pulling back flap a little.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Who are you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + I show the gracious lady to your tent. + </p> + <p> + [Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing a smile to HAFIZ.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Hullo, Mr. Beal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Er—er—how do you do? + </p> + <p> + [She looks at ARCHIE.] + </p> + <p> + O, this is my brother—Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + How do you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I like this country. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid I hardly expected you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Didn't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. You see er—it's such a long way. And wasn't it very expensive? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, the captain of the ship was very kind to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O! But what did you do when you landed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, there were some Arabs coming this way in a caravan. They were really + very good to me too. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But the camel? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, there were some people the other side of the mountains. Everybody has + been very kind about it. And then there was the man who showed me here. + He's called Hafiz el Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But, you know, this country, Miss Clement, I'm half afraid it's hardly—isn't + it, Archie? Er—how long did you think of staying? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, a week or so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't know what you'll think of Al Shaldomir. I'm afraid you'll find + it... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the mountains, and the one pass, and no + record of it anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You see, I'm afraid—what I mean is I'm afraid the place isn't even + on the map! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, that's lovely of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + All decent places are. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You mean if a place is on the map we've got to behave accordingly. But if + not, why... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Hussein won't pay. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Let's see Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a savage-looking brigand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Never mind. + </p> + <p> + [ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling sometimes.] + </p> + <p> + Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the unholy heap and takes away two large idols, + one under each arm. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + What's that, Mr. Beal? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible. I told you it was an awful + country. They pray to these idols here, and some are all right, though of + course it's terribly blasphemous, but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well + that heap is very bad indeed. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What do they do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They kill people. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Do they? How? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid they pour their blood down those horrible throats. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Do they? How do you know? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I've seen them do it, and those mouths are all rusty. But it's all right + now. It won't happen any more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Won't it? Why not? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're all going to be thrown into the + river. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Have you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now. They won't do it any more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + H'm. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What, what is it? I promise you that's all right. They won't do that any + more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + H'm. I've never known anyone that tried to govern a country or anything of + that sort, but... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put them right.... I'd be very + glad of your advice... Of course, I'm only here in your name. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What I mean is that I'd always thought that the one thing you shouldn't + do, if you don't mind my saying so... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, certainly. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Was to interfere in people's religious beliefs. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But, but I don't think you quite understand. The priests knife these + people in the throat, boys and girls, and then acolytes lift them up and + the blood runs down. I've seen them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I think it's best to leave religion to the priests. They understand that + kind of thing. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror and looks at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns + the glance; there is very nearly a twinkle in ARCHIE's eyes.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Let's see Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What do you think, Archie? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Poor fellow. We'd better send for him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why do you say "poor fellow"? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's awful to be in debt. I'd sooner + almost anything happened to me than to owe a lot of money. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Your remark didn't sound very complimentary. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt. And I should hate owing money + to you, Because... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Because I should so awfully want to pay it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I see. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's all I meant. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Does Hussein awfully want to pay it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He will then, of course. + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy heap.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Daoud, for the present these gods must stay. Aho-oomlah's gone, but the + rest must stay for the present. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Daoud, go once more to the palace of the Lord of the Pass and beat the + outer door. Say that the great lady herself would see him. The great lady, + Miss Clement, the white traveller's heiress. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Hasten. + </p> + <p> + [Exit DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + I have sent him for Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I don't know their language. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You will see him, and I'll tell you what he says. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [to ARCHIE] + </p> + <p> + Have you been here long? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. I think he wrote to me by the same mail as he wrote to you (if they + have mails here). I came at once. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + So did I; but you weren't on the Empress of Switzerland. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, I came round more by land. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein in here to see you. He's such a—he's + rather a... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What's the matter with him? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and one doesn't know what he'll do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, we must see him first and hear what he has to say before we take any + steps. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what do you propose to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or gives up the security... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The security is the pass. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes. If he gives up that or pays... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You know he's practically king of the whole country. It seems rather cheek + almost my sending for him like this. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He must come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what are you going to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + If he gives up the pass... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be you'd be a kind of queen of it all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, if he does that, all right... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what if he doesn't? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why, if he doesn't pay... + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [off] + </p> + <p> + I am here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Be seen. + </p> + <p> + [Enter HUSSEIN.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Greeting once more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Again greeting.... The great lady, Miss Clement, is here. + </p> + <p> + [HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each other.] + </p> + <p> + You will pay to Miss Clement and not to your god of bronze. On the word of + an Englishman, your god of bronze shall not have one gold piece that + belongs to the great lady! + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous] + </p> + <p> + On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only pay to Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + [He stands smiling while MIRALDA regards him. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He won't pay. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What are we to do now? + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA] + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to introduce you to like that. I'm + sorry he came now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, I like him, I think he looks splendid. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what are we to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What do you say, Miss Clement? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, what do you feel we ought to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, no. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, it's your money. What do you think we really ought to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, of course, I think you ought to kill Hussein. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look at each other a little startled.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But wouldn't that—wouldn't that be—murder? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, yes, according to the English law. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I see; you mean—you mean we're not—but we are English. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I mean it wouldn't be murder—by your law, unless you made it so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + By my law? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, if you can interfere with their religion like this, and none of them + say a word, why—you can make any laws you like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the Pass, and that's everything + here. I'm nobody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's different. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I think she means that if Hussein weren't there there'd be only you. Of + course, I don't know. I've only just come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But we can't kill Hussein! + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA begins to cry.] + </p> + <p> + O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said + anything you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for worlds. I'm awfully + sorry. It's a beastly country, I know. I'm really sorry you came. I feel + it's all my fault. I'm really awfully sorry... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Never mind. Never mind. I was so helpless, and I asked you to help me. I + never ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have spoken to you at all in + that train without being introduced; but I was so helpless. And now, and + now, I haven't a penny in the world, and, O, I don't know what to do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Anything in the wide world. Please, please don't cry. We'll do anything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I... I only, I only wanted to—to kill Hussein. But never mind, it + doesn't matter now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we, Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. + I—I suppose he deserves it, doesn't he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I suppose he does. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled. My brother and I will talk + it over. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [still sniping] + </p> + <p> + And—and—don't hang him or anything—he looks so fine.... + I—I wouldn't like him treated like that. He has such a grand beard. + He ought to die fighting. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's sweet of both of you. I don't + know what I d have done without you. I seemed to know it that day the + moment I saw you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's all right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the trouble. That's what I've been + thinking of + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why, isn't there... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to do, Archie. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I—I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement would have a scheme. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL] + </p> + <p> + I rely on you, Mr. Beal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I—I; but what can I... You see, you're all alone. If you'd anyone + with you, you could have... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt. But on the whole I thought it + better not to tell anyone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Not to tell... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No, on the whole I didn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I say, Archie, what are we to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Here's Daoud. + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir! + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I have brought two watchers of the doorstep to guard the noble lady. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He says he's brought two watchers of the doorstep to look after Miss + Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go anywhere now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, really, that is better. Yes that will be all right. We can find a + room for you now. The trouble was your being alone. I hope you'll like + them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them to enter here. + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway] + </p> + <p> + Ho! Enter! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's all right, ARCHIE, isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a chaperon, black or white. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You won't mind their being black, will you, Miss Clement? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse than white ones. + </p> + <p> + [Enter BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock + fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at them. They begin to fan + slightly.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + The watchers of the doorstep. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may not guard a lady's door. + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile ingratiatingly.] + </p> + <p> + We are not men. + </p> + <p> + BAZZALOL [bowing] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + Six and a half years elapse + </p> + <p> + <br /> THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + When morn is bright on the mountains olden + Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day, + When morn is bright and the marshes golden, + Where shall the lost lights fade away? + And where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + </pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows + Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray, + And the water is streaked with the flash of + swallows + And all through summer the iris sway. + But where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + When night is black in the iris marshes. + </pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT III + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE 1 + </h3> + <p> + Six and a half years later. Al Shaldomir. A room in the palace. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions, JOHN beside her. + </p> + <p> + Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them. + </p> + <p> + OMAR [declaiming to a zither] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + The nightingales that guard thy ways + Cease not to give thee, after God + And after Paradise, all praise. + Thou art the theme of all their lays. + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir.... + </pre> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Go now, Omar. + </p> + <p> + <br /> OMAR + </p> + <p> + O lady, I depart. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [languidly] + </p> + <p> + John, John. I wish you'd marry me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miralda, you're thinking of those old customs again that we left behind us + seven years ago. What's the good of it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I had a fancy that I wished you would. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What's the good of it? You know you are my beloved. There are none of + those clergymen within hundreds of miles. What's the good of it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + We could find one, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, yes, I suppose we could, but... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why won't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I told you why. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, yes, that instinct that you must not marry. That's not your reason, + John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, it is. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason. It's no reason at all. There's + some other reason. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, there isn't. But I feel that in my bones. I don't know why. You know + that I love none else but you. Besides, we're never going back, and it + doesn't matter. This isn't Blackheath. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + So I must live as your slave. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my slave. Did not the singer compare + our love to the desire of the nightingale for the evening star? All know + that you are my queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + They do not know at home. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Home? Home? How could they know? What have we in common with home? Rows + and rows of little houses; and if they hear a nightingale there they write + to the papers. And—and if they saw this they'd think they were + drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd. What has set you thinking of home? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I want to be crowned queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But I am not a king. I am only Shereef. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You are all-powerful here, John, you can do what you please, if you wish + to. You don't love me at all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't I kill Hussein for you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, but you don't love me now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And Hussein's people killed ARCHIE. That was for you too. I brought my + brother out here to help you. He was engaged to be married, too. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + But you don't love me now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves the iris marshes. You know the + song they sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III) + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Then why won't you marry me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I told you, I told you. I had a dream about the future. I forgot the + dream, but I know I was not to marry. I will not wrong the future. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Don't be crazy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will have what fancies I please, crazy or sane. Am I not Shereef of + Shaldomir? Who dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I will be crowned queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It is not my wish. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I will, I will, I will. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast into a well and take twenty of + the fairest daughters of Al Shaldomir in your place, who can gainsay me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I will be crowned queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, do not be tiresome. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Was it not my money that brought you here? Was it not I who said "Kill + Hussein"? What power could you have had, had Hussein lived? What would you + have been doing now, but for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know, Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Catching some silly train to the City. Working for some dull firm. Living + in some small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought you from all that, + and you won't make me a queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Is it not enough that you are my beloved? You know there is none other but + you. Is it not enough, Miralda? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is not enough. I will be queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Tchah!... Miralda, I know you are a wonderful woman, the most wonderful in + the East; how you ever came to be in the West I don't know, and a train of + all places; but, Miralda, you must not have petty whims, they don't become + you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, when it is only the name you want. You are a queen. You have all you + wish for. Are you not my beloved? And have I not power here over all men? + Could I not close the pass? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I want to be queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do than to sit and hear your whims. + When I come back you will have some other whim. Miralda, you have too many + whims. + </p> + <p> + [He rises.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Will you be back soon? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + When will you come back, John? + </p> + <p> + [She is reclining, looking fair, fanning slightly.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + In half an hour. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + In half an hour? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Half an hour. + </p> + <p> + [Her fan is laid down. She clutches it with sudden resolve. She goes to + the wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans against it. She fans herself + now with obvious deliberation. Three times the great fan goes pat against + the window, and then again separately three times; and then she puts it + against the window once with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled. She + returns to the cushions and reclines with beautiful care, fanning herself + softly. + </p> + <p> + Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady! You bade me come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Did I, Hafiz? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, your fan. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Ah, I was fanning myself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Seven times, lady. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Ah, was it? Well, now you're here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, O star of these times. O light over lonely marshes. [He kneels by + her and embraces her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + For half an hour, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + How know you for half an hour? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He said so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a man say so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I know him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + In our country who knows any man so much? None. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He'll be away for half an hour. + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ [embracing] + </p> + <p> + O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + I would do all things, lady, O evening star. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRANDA + </p> + <p> + Would you make me a queen, Hafiz? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + If—if the Shereef were gathered? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Even so, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, I would make you queen of all that lies west of the passes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRANDA + </p> + <p> + You would make me queen? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Indeed, before all my wives, before all women, over all Shaldomir, named + the elect. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me. [HAFIZ does so ad lib.] + </p> + <p> + Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + The appointed hour? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Even the appointed hour, the last, leading to darkness. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's hour is soon? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a banquet. Let the great ones of + Shaldomir be bidden there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + There shall be a banquet, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of the garden. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It shall be soon, Hafiz. [More embraces.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son of the baker. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He shall be bidden, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + O lady, it is well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Go now, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL]. Silence. Silence. Silence. + </p> + <p> + BAZZALOL [kneeling] + </p> + <p> + O, master! + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out; but do you be silent. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Aye, master. + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA] + </p> + <p> + And you. Though this one speak, yet be silent, or dread the shadow of + Hafiz el Alcolahn. + </p> + <p> + [He drops a bag of gold. THOOTHOOBABA goes down and grabs at the gold; his + eyes gloat over it.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> THOOTHOOBABA + </p> + <p> + Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h. + </p> + <p> + [Exit HAFIZ. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA arranges herself on the cushions. She looks idly at each Nubian. + The Nubians put each a finger over his lips and go on fanning with one + hand.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen. + </p> + <p> + [Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him caressingly. + </p> + <p> + Enter DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + Oh, you have brought Daoud with you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why not? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You know that I don't like Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I wish to speak with him. + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and moves away in silence. Exit L.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery of those called Blessed, beyond + the city's gates, you swore to me by the graves of both your parents.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, even so I swore. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + .... to be true to me always. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + There is no Shereef but my master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud, you have kept your word. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I have sought to, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You have helped me often, Daoud, warned me and helped me often. Through + you I knew those currents that run through the deeps of the market, in + silence and all men feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of them, and + when I knew—then I could look after myself, Daoud. They could do + nothing against me then. Well, now I hold this people. I hold them at + last, Daoud, and now —well, I can rest a little. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Not in the East, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Not in the East, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why? What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + In Western countries, master, whose tales I have read, in a wonderful book + named the "Good Child's History of England," in the West a man hath power + over a land, and lo! the power is his and descends to his son's son after + him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, doesn't it in the East? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Not if he does not watch, master; in the night and the day, and in the + twilight between the day and the night, and in the dawn between the night + and the day. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I thought you had pretty long dynasties in these parts, and pretty lazy + ones. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, he that was mightiest of those that were kings in Babylon had a + secret door prepared in an inner chamber, which led to a little room, the + smallest in the palace, whose back door opened secretly to the river, even + to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited all the days of his reign. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Did he really now? Well, he was taking no chances. Did he have to use it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. Such boats are never used. Those that watch like that do not + need to seek them, and the others, they would never be able to reach the + river in time, even though the boat were there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I shouldn't like to have to live like that. Why, a river runs by the back + of this palace. I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm glad I don't + have to keep a boat there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what is it you are worrying about? Who is it you are afraid of? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Hafiz el Alcolahn. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately I ordered my spies to watch him + no longer. Why does he hate me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Because, most excellent master, you slew Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Slew Hussein? What is that to do with him? May I not slay whom I please? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, master. Even so. But he was Hussein's enemy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + His enemy, eh? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + For years he had dreamed of the joy of killing Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, he should have done it before I came. We don't hang over things and + brood over them for years where I come from. If a thing's to be done, it's + done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans for years. He would have killed + him and got his substance; and then, when the hour drew near, you came, + and Hussein died, swiftly, not as Hafiz would have had him die; and lo! + thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz is no more than a beetle that + runs about in the dirt. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, so you fear Hafiz? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not Hafiz. But, master, hast thou + seen when the thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard and the sky is + scarce yet black, how little winds run in the grass and sigh and die; and + the flower beckons a moment with its head; all the world full of whispers, + master, all saying nothing; then the lightning, master, and the anger of + God; and men say it came without warning? [Simply.] I hear those things + coming, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, it is all silent in the market. Once, when the price of turquoises + was high, men abused the Shereef. When the merchant men could not sell + their pomegranates for silver they abused the Shereef. It is men's way, + master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the market. It is like the + grasses with the idle winds, that whisper and sigh and die away; like the + flowers beckoning to nothing. And so, master, and so.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see, you fear some danger. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I fear it, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What danger, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, I know not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + From what quarter, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir, named the elect, from that quarter. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + That quarter? Why, that is the gracious lady's innermost chamber. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + From that quarter, great master, O Lord of the Pass. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud, I have cast men into prison for saying less than this. Men have + been flogged on the feet for less than this. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Slay me, master, but hear my words. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will not slay you. You are mistaken, Daoud. You have made a great + mistake. The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady has scarcely seen + Hafiz. She knows nothing of the talk of the market. Who could tell her? No + one comes here. It is absurd. Only the other day she said to me... But it + is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the people would never rebel + against me. Do I not govern them well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why should they rebel, then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They think of the old times, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + The old times? Why, their lives weren't safe. The robbers came down from + the mountains and robbed the market whenever they had a mind. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, men were content in the old times. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But were the merchants content? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Those that loved merchandise were content, master. Those that loved it not + went into the mountains. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But were they content when they were robbed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They soon recovered their losses, master. Their prices were unjust and + they loved usury. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And were the people content with unjust prices? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Some were, master, as men have to be in all countries. The others went + into the mountains and robbed the merchants. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + But now, master, a man robs a merchant and he is cast into prison. Now a + man is slain in the market and his son, his own son, master, may not + follow after the aggressor and slay him and burn his house. They are + ill-content, master. No man robs the merchants, no man slays them, and the + merchants' hearts are hardened and they oppress all men. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. They don't like good government? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They sigh for the old times, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for them, they want their old + bad government back again. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + It is the old way, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well, we must watch. You have warned me + once again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you are wrong, Daoud, about the + gracious lady. You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are mistaken, + Daoud. I know it could not be. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am mistaken. Yet, watch. Watch, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I will watch. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + And, master, if ever I come to you bearing oars, then watch no longer, + master, but follow me through the banquet chamber and through the room + beyond it. Move as the wild deer move when there is danger, without + pausing, without wondering, without turning round; for in that hour, + master, in that hour.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Through the room beyond the banquet chamber, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Aye, master, following me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But there is no door beyond, Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, I have prepared a door. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A door, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + A door none wots of, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Whither does it lead? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + To a room that you know not of, a little room; you must stoop, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, and then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + To the river, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + The river! But there's no boat there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Under the golden willow, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A boat? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, under the branches. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Is it come to that?... No, Daoud, all this is unnecessary. It can't come + to that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + If ever I come before you bearing two oars, in that hour, master, it is + necessary. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But you will not come. It will never come to that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A wise man can stop things before they get as far as that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They that were kings in Babylon were wise men, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Babylon! But that was thousands of years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Man changes not, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it ever comes to that... + </p> + <p> + [Enter MIRALDA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I thought Daoud was gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even now I go, gracious lady. + </p> + <p> + [Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence with JOHN and MIRALDA till he goes. + She goes and retakes herself comfortable on the cushions. He is not + entirely at ease.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You had a long talk with Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, he came and talked a good deal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What about? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, just talk; you know these Eastern people. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I thought it was something you were discussing with him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, no. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Some important secret. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, not at all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You often talk with Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks sense I listen, but to-day... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What did he come for to-day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You have a secret with Daoud that you will not share with me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I have not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What was it he said? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + He said there was a king in Babylon who... + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD slips into the room.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + In Babylon? What has that to do with us? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Nothing. I told you he was not talking sense. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, what did he say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + He said that in Babylon... + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Hist! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well... + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA glares, but calms herself and says nothing. + </p> + <p> + Exit DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What did Daoud say of Babylon? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do with us. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + But I wish to hear it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I forget. + </p> + <p> + [For a moment there is silence.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + John, John. Will you do a little thing for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Say you will do it, John. I should love to have one of my little wishes + granted. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will not. + </p> + <p> + [He walks up and down in front of the two Nubians in silence. She plucks + petulantly at a pillow. She suddenly calms herself. A light comes into her + eyes. The Nubians go on fanning. JOHN goes on pacing.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + John, John, I have forgotten my foolish fancies. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I am glad of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I do not really wish you to kill Daoud. + </p> + <p> + JOHN [same voice] + </p> + <p> + I'm glad you don't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I have only one fancy now, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Give a banquet, John. I want you to give a banquet. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A banquet? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Is there any harm in my fancy? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Then if I may not be a queen, and if you will not kill Daoud for me, give + a banquet, John. There is no harm in a banquet. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Very well. When do you want it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones to it, all the illustrious ones in + Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Very well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + And bid Daoud come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud? You asked me to kill him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I do not wish that any longer, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You have queer moods, Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + May I not change my moods, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. I don't understand them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Hafiz? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I don't know, John. It was just my fancy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Your fancy, eh? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + That was all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Then I will ask him. Have you any other fancy? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Not now, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Then go, Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Go? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Because I command it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Because you command it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Very well. + </p> + <p> + [Exit L. + </p> + <p> + He walks to the door to see that she is really gone. He comes back to + centre and stands with back to audience, pulling a cord quietly from his + pocket and arranging it. + </p> + <p> + He moves half left and comes up behind BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the + cord over BAZZALOL's head, and tightens it round his neck.] + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL flops on his knees. + </p> + <p> + THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Speak! + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL is silent. + </p> + <p> + JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA goes on quietly fanning.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + I cannot. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If you would speak, raise your left hand. If you raise your left hand and + do not speak you shall die. + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby + left hand high. JOHN releases the cord. BAZZALOL blinks and moves his + mouth.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Gracious Shereef, one visited the great lady and gave us gold, saying, + "Speak not." + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + When? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Great master, one hour since. + </p> + <p> + JOHN [a little viciously] + </p> + <p> + Who? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Give me the gold. + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL gives it.] + </p> + <p> + [To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the gold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> THOOTHOOBABA + </p> + <p> + Master, none gave me gold. + </p> + <p> + [John touches his dagger, and looks like using it. + </p> + <p> + THOOTHOOBABA gives it.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Take back your gold. Be silent about this. You too. + </p> + <p> + [He throws gold to BAZZALOL.] + </p> + <p> + Gold does not make you silent, but there is a thing that does. What is + that thing? Speak. What thing makes you silent? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + O, great master, it is death. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Death, eh? And how will you die if you speak? You know how you will die? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Yes, heaven-sent. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Tell your comrade, then. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + We shall be eaten, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You know by what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Small things, great master, small things. Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h. + </p> + <p> + [THOOTHOOBABA's knees scarcely hold him.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It is well. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 2 + </p> + <p> + A small street. Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + Time: Next day. + </p> + <p> + [Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS. + </p> + <p> + He goes to an old green door, pointed of course in the Arabic way.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + </p> + <p> + Ho, Bishareens! + </p> + <p> + [The BISHAREENS run on.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + It is the place and the hour. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BISHAREENS + </p> + <p> + Ah, ah! + </p> + <p> + SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN] + </p> + <p> + Watch. + </p> + <p> + [FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and watches up sunny street.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> FIRST BISHAREEN + </p> + <p> + He comes. + </p> + <p> + [Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.] + </p> + <p> + SHEIK [turning] + </p> + <p> + Hear, O Bishareens. + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ places flute to his lips.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A BISHAREEN + </p> + <p> + And the gold, master? + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + Silence! It is the signal. + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on his flute.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + So. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + Master, once more. + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + Hear, O Bishareens! + </p> + <p> + [He plays the brief tune again.] + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ [to SHEIK] + </p> + <p> + Like that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + We have heard, O master. + </p> + <p> + [He walks away L. Hands move in the direction of knife-hilts.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> THE BISHAREENS + </p> + <p> + Ah, ah! + </p> + <p> + [Exit HAFIZ. + </p> + <p> + He plays a merry little tune on his flute as he walks away.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 3 + </p> + <p> + The banqueting hall. A table along the back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with + notables of Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ + EL ALCOLAHN. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [to JOHN] + </p> + <p> + You bade Daoud be present? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He is not here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud not here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + We all obey you, but not Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I do not understand it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + The Shereef has frowned. + </p> + <p> + [Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He halts at once and salutes with his sword, + then takes a side pace to his left, standing against the wall, sword at + the carry. + </p> + <p> + JOHN acknowledges salute by touching his forehead with the inner tips of + his fingers.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> OFFICER-AT-ARMS + </p> + <p> + Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the dance-step; march. + </p> + <p> + [Enter R. some men in single file; uniform, pale green silks; swords at + carry. They advance in single file, in a slightly serpentine way, + deviating to their left a little out of the straight and returning to it, + stepping neatly on the tips of their toes. Their march is fantastic and + odd without being exactly funny. + </p> + <p> + The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their left flank and marches about level + with the third or fourth man. When he reaches the centre he gives another + word of command.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> OFFICER-AT-ARMS + </p> + <p> + With reverence: Salute. + </p> + <p> + [The actor who takes this part should have been an officer or N. C. O. + </p> + <p> + JOHN stands up and acknowledges their salute by touching his forehead with + the fingers of the right hand, palm turned inwards. + </p> + <p> + Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + He does not smile this evening. + </p> + <p> + <br /> A WOMAN + </p> + <p> + The Shereef? + </p> + <p> + <br /> NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + He has not smiled. + </p> + <p> + [Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with brass bowl. He bows. He walks to + centre opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ZABNOOL + </p> + <p> + Behold. The bowl is empty. + </p> + <p> + [ZABNOOL produces a snake.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ZABNOOL + </p> + <p> + Ah, little servant of Death. + </p> + <p> + [He produces flowers.] + </p> + <p> + Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from Nowhere. + </p> + <p> + [He produces birds.] + </p> + <p> + Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere. Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the + little empty songs of the land of Nowhere. + </p> + <p> + [He seats himself on the ground facing JOHN. He puts the bowl on the + ground. He places a piece of silk, with queer designs on it over the bowl. + He partly draws the silk away with his left hand and puts in his right. He + brings out a young crocodile and holds it by the neck.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> CONJURER + </p> + <p> + Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a crocodile. + </p> + <p> + [He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps up the crocodile in some drapery and + walks away. As he goes he addresses his crocodile.] + </p> + <p> + O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers, you sought to evade me in an + empty bowl. O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the Shereef. The + Shereef has seen you, O vexer of swimmers, O pig in armour, O... + </p> + <p> + [Exit. + </p> + <p> + SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes on.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + Bad man, master; he very, very bad man. + </p> + <p> + [He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly, impetus of which carries ZABNOOL to the + wings.] + </p> + <p> + Very, very bad man, master. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [reprovingly] + </p> + <p> + Zabnool has amused us. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get crocodile from devil. From devil + Poolyana, lily lady. Very, very bad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He may call on devils if he amuse us, Shabeesh. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my devil, lily lady. Very, very, very + bad. My devil Poolyana. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse us. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + Shall one devil serve two masters? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why not? + </p> + <p> + SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's hands] + </p> + <p> + Very bad man go away. Go away, bad man: go away, bad man. Poolyana not + want bad man: Poolyana only work for good man. He mighty fine devil. + Poolyana, Poolyana. Big, black, fine, furry devil. Poolyana, Poolyana, + Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big angry tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, + Poolyana. Send me up fine young pig for the Shereef. Poolyana, Poolyana. + Lil yellow pig with curly tail. [Small pig appears.] O Poolyana, great + Poolyana. Fine black fur and grey fur underneath. Fine ferocious devil you + my devil, Poolyana. O, Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Send me a big beast + what chew bad man's crocodile. Big beast with big teeth, eat him like a + worm. + </p> + <p> + [He has spread large silk handkerchief on floor and is edging back from it + in alarm.] + </p> + <p> + Long nails in him toes, big like lion, Poolyana. Send great smelly big + beast—eat up bad man's crocodile. + </p> + <p> + [At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH leaps in alarm.] + </p> + <p> + He come, he come. I see his teeth and horns. + </p> + <p> + [Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor under handkerchief.] + </p> + <p> + O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle joke. You laugh at poor + conjuring man. You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile. Bad Poolyana. + Bad Poolyana. + </p> + <p> + [Whacks ground with stick.] + </p> + <p> + You plenty bad devil, Poolyana. + </p> + <p> + [Whacking it again. Handkerchief has been thrown on ground again. + Handkerchief stirs slightly.] + </p> + <p> + No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil. You not bad devil. You plenty good + devil, Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man quite happy on muddy + earth. No, Poolyana, no! O, no, no, devil. O, no, no! Hell plenty nice + place for devil. Master! He not my devil! He other man's devil! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What's this noise? What's it about? What's the matter? + </p> + <p> + SHABEESH [in utmost terror] + </p> + <p> + He coming, master! Coming! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ZABNOOL + </p> + <p> + Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in + nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want no devil to-day. + </p> + <p> + [ZABNOOL before speaking returns to centre and pats air over ground where + handkerchief lies. + </p> + <p> + Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOL come together side by side and bow and smile + together toward the SHEREEF. Gold is thrown to them, which ZABNOOL gathers + and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a share back to ZABNOOL.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + The Shereef is silent. + </p> + <p> + [Enter three women R. in single file, dancing, and carrying baskets full + of pink rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing down rose-leaves, leaving + a path of them behind them. Exeunt L.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + Still he is silent. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why do you not speak? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I do not wish to speak. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + [Enter OMAR with his zither.] + </p> + <p> + OMAR [singing] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + Birds sing thy praises night and day; + The nightingale in every wood, + Blackbirds in fields profound with may; + Birds sing of thee by every way. + </pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + My heart is ringing with thee still + Though far away, O fairy fields, + My soul flies low by every hill + And misses not one daffodil. + </pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + O mother of my roving dreams + Blue is the night above thy spires + And blue by myriads of streams + Paradise through thy gateway gleams. + </pre> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why do you not wish to speak? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You desire me to speak? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. They all wonder why you do not speak; that is all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will speak. They shall hear me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, there is no need to. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + There is a need. [He rises.] People of Shaldomir, behold I know your + plottings. I know the murmurings that you murmur against me. When I sleep + in my inner chamber my ear is in the market, while I sit at meat I hear + men whisper far hence and know their innermost thoughts. Hope not to + overcome me by your plans nor by any manner of craftiness. My gods are + gods of brass; none have escaped them. They cannot be overthrown. Of all + men they favour my people. Their hands reach out to the uttermost ends of + the earth. Take heed, for my gods are terrible. I am the Shereef; if any + dare withstand me I will call on my gods and they shall crush him utterly. + They shall grind him into the earth and trample him under, as though he + had not been. The uttermost parts have feared the gods of the English. + They reach out, they destroy, there is no escape from them. Be warned; for + I do not permit any to stand against me. The laws that I have given you, + you shall keep; there shall be no other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my + wrath and the wrath of my gods. Take heed, I speak not twice. I spoke once + to Hussein. Hussein heard not; and Hussein is dead, his ears are closed + for ever. Hear, O people. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + O Shereef, we murmur not against you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I know thoughts and hear whispers. I need not instruction, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + You exalt yourself over us as none did aforetime. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been Shereef hitherto, but now I will + be king. Al Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled too long over a + little country. I will be the equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim + it. The pass is mine; the mountains shall be mine also. And he that rules + the mountains has mastery over all the plains beyond. If the men of the + plains will not own it let them make ready; for my wrath will fall on them + in the hour when they think me afar, on a night when they think I dream. I + proclaim myself king over... + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ pulls out his flute and plays the weird, strange tune. JOHN looks + at him in horrified anger.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + The penalty is death! Death is the punishment for what you do, Hafiz. You + have dared while I spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is death. Go to Hussein. I, + the king... say it. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD has entered R., bearing two oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking + at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near back. + </p> + <p> + JOHN gives one look at the banqueters, then he follows DAOUD. Exit. + </p> + <p> + All look astonished. Some rise and peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.] + </p> + <p> + OMAR [singing] + </p> + <p> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, The nightingales that guard thy ways Cease not + to give thee, after God And after Paradise, all praise. + </p> + <p> + CRIES [off] + </p> + <p> + Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the Christian. + </p> + <p> + [Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS, followed by all his men.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + We are the Bishareens, master. + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA standing up, right arm akimbo, left arm pointing perfectly + straight out towards the small door, hand extended.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He is there. + </p> + <p> + [The BISHAREENS run off through the little door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + Not to interfere with old ways is wisest. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ANOTHER + </p> + <p> + Indeed, it would have been well for him. + </p> + <p> + [The BISHAREENS begin to return looking all about them like disappointed + hounds.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A BISHAREEN + </p> + <p> + He is not there, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Not there? Not there? Why, there is no door beyond. He must needs be + there, and his chief spy with him. + </p> + <p> + SHEIK [off] + </p> + <p> + He is not here. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall] + </p> + <p> + O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + When I am weary of a man he must die. + </p> + <p> + [He embraces her knees.] + </p> + <p> + ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd that followed the + BISHAREENS. She is blind.] + </p> + <p> + Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of Hafiz. Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead + her near.] Hafiz! Hafiz! + </p> + <p> + [She finds his shoulder and tries to drag him away.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of the innermost deeps of the sea. + </p> + <p> + [He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT IV + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE 1 + </h3> + <p> + Three years elapse. + </p> + <p> + Scene: The street outside the Acacias. + </p> + <p> + Time: Evening. + </p> + <p> + [Ali leans on a pillar-box watching. John shuffles on L. He is miserably + dressed, an Englishman down on his luck. A nightingale sings far off.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A nightingale here. Well, I never. + </p> + <p> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, The nightingales that guard thy ways Cease not + to give thee, after God And after Paradise, all praise... + </p> + <p> + The infernal place! I wish I had never seen it! Wonder what set me + thinking of that? + </p> + <p> + [The nightingale sings another bar. JOHN turns to his left and walks down + the little path that leads to the door of the Acacias.] + </p> + <p> + I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a fine house like this. Mustn't. + Mustn't. + </p> + <p> + [He draws near it reluctantly. He puts his hand to the bell and withdraws + it. Then he rings and snatches his hand away. He prepares to run away. + Finally he rings it repeatedly, feverishly, violently. + </p> + <p> + Enter LIZA, opening the door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Ullo, 'Oo's this! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I oughtn't to have rung your bell; + but I've seen better days, and wondered if—I wondered... + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's wot I oughtn't. Now I look at + you, I oughtn't to 'ave opened it. Wot does you want? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must come here. I must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Must? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Wot do you want? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Who lives here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater, and Johnstone. What do you + want? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Could I see Mr. Cater? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + He's out. Dining at the Mansion House. + </p> + <p> + JOHN + </p> + <p> + Oh. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + He is. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Could I see Mrs. Cater? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you couldn't. + </p> + <p> + [She prepares to shut the door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut me out. If you knew what I'd + suffered, if you knew what I'd suffered. Don't! + </p> + <p> + LIZA [coming forward again] + </p> + <p> + Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to eat? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I've had nothing all day. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Aven't you really now? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. And I get little enough at any time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA [kindly] + </p> + <p> + You ought to work. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I... I can't. I can't bring myself... I've seen better times. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Still, you could work. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I can't grub for halfpennies when I've —when I've... + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + When you've what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Lost millions. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Millions? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I've lost everything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Ow did you lose it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Through being blind. But never mind, never mind. It's all gone now, and + I'm hungry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's three years now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Couldn't get a regular job, like? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose it's my fault, miss. But the heart + was out of me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Dear me, now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miss. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You've a kind face... + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Ave I? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. Would you do me a kind turn? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down on yer luck—I don't like to + see a man like you are, I must say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Would you let me come into the big house and speak to the missus a moment? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + She'd row me awful if I did. This house is very respectable. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck might change. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + But I don't know what she'd say if I did. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miss, I must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I don't know wot she'd say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I must come in, miss, I must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I don't know what she'll say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I must. I can't help myself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I don't know what she'll... + </p> + <p> + [JOHN is in, door shuts.] + </p> + <p> + [ALI throws his head up and laughs, but quite silently.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 2 + </p> + <p> + The drawing-room at the Acacias. + </p> + <p> + A moment later. + </p> + <p> + The scene is the same as in Act I, except that the sofa which was red is + now green, and the photograph of Aunt Martha is replaced by that of a + frowning old colonel. The ages of the four children in the photographs are + the same, but their sexes have changed. + </p> + <p> + [MARY reading. Enter LIZA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + There's a gentleman to see you, mum, which is, properly speaking, not a + gentleman at all, but 'e would come in, mum. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza, whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'E would come in, mum. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But what does he want? + </p> + <p> + LIZA [over shoulder] + </p> + <p> + What does you want? + </p> + <p> + JOHN [entering] + </p> + <p> + I am a beggar. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, really? You've no right to be coming into houses like this, you know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I know that, madam, I know that. Yet somehow I couldn't help myself. I've + been begging for nearly three years now, and I've never done this before, + yet somehow to-night I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg your + pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Hunger? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm very hungry, madam. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet returned, or perhaps he might... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If you could give me a little to eat yourself, madam, a bit of stale + bread, a crust, something that Mr. Cater would not want. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It's very unusual, coming into a house like this and at such an hour—it's + past eleven o'clock—and Mr. Cater not yet returned. Are you really + hungry? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm very, very hungry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I might get you a little something. + </p> + <p> + [She picks up an empty plate from the supper table.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Madam, I do not know how to thank you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, don't mention it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I have not met such kindness for three years. I... I'm starving. I've + known better times. + </p> + <p> + MARY [kindly] + </p> + <p> + I'll get you something. You've known better times, you say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I had been intended for work in the City. And then, then I travelled, and—and + I got very much taken with foreign countries, and I thought—but it + all went to pieces. I lost everything. Here I am, starving. + </p> + <p> + MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who had lost her gloves] + </p> + <p> + O, I'm so sorry. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN sighs deeply.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'll get a nice bit of something to eat. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A thousand thanks to you, madam. + </p> + <p> + [Exit MARY with the plate.] + </p> + <p> + LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the time] + </p> + <p> + Well, she's going to get you something. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Heaven reward her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Hungry as all that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm on my beam ends. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Cheer up! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + That's all very well to say, living in a fine house, as you are, dry and + warm and well-fed. But what have I to cheer up about? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Isn't there anything you could pop? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop? I've tided over times I wanted a + bit of cash that way sometimes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What could I pawn? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Well, well you've a watch-chain. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A bit of old leather. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + But what about the watch? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I've no watch. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + O, funny having a watch-chain then. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Funny bit of a thing. What's it for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Was it give to you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. I don't know how I got it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Don't know how you got it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I can't remember at all. But I've a feeling about it, I can't explain + what I feel; but I don't part with it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Don't you? You might get something on it, likely and have a square meal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I won't part with it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I feel I won't. I never have. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Feel you won't? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I have that feeling very strongly. I've kept it always. Everything + else is gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Had it long? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had it one morning in a train. It's + odd that I can't remember. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + But wot d'yer keep it for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Just for luck. + </p> + <p> + [LIZA breaks into laughter.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Well, you are funny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is funny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + You're as down in your luck as ever you can be, and you go keeping a thing + like that for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what would you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and I had rotten luck. Rotten + luck I had. Rotten. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And what did you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Took it back to the shop. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + They was quite obliging about it. Gave me a wooden one instead, what was + guaranteed. Luck changed very soon altogether. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Could luck like mine change? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Course it could. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Look at me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + You'll be all right one of these days. Give me that mascot. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I hardly like to. One has an awfully strong feeling with it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Give it to me. It's no good. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I don't like to. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing you no good. I know all + about them mascots. Give it me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I'll give it you. You're the first woman that's been kind to me + since ... I'm on my beam ends. + </p> + <p> + [Face in hands—tears.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am. These mascots! One's better + without 'em. Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a nice supper + coming. + </p> + <p> + [She puts it in a corner of the mantelpiece and hammers it. It smashes. + </p> + <p> + The photographs of the four children change slightly. The Colonel gives + place to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red. JOHN's clothes become neat + and tidy. The hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather duster. Nothing + else changes.] + </p> + <p> + A VOICE [off, in agony] + </p> + <p> + Allah! Allah! Allah! + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Some foreign gentleman must have hurt himself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + H'm. Sounds like it... Liza. + </p> + <p> + [LIZA, dusting the photographs on the wall, just behind the corner of the + mantelpiece.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Funny. Thought I—thought I 'ad a hammer in my hand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really, Liza, I often think you have. You really should be more careful. + Only—only yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's photograph. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Thought it was a hammer. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a mistake you make too often, Liza. + You—you must be more careful. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad an 'ammer in my 'and, though. + </p> + <p> + [She goes to tidy the little supper table. Enter MARY with food on a + plate.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I've brought you your supper, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Thanks, Mary. I—I think I must have taken a nap. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along to bed now, Liza. Good gracious, + it's half-past eleven. + </p> + <p> + [MARY makes final arrangements of supper table.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Thank you, mum. + </p> + <p> + [Exit ] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Mary. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Yes, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I thought I'd caught that train. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1311 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e3ccd30 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #1311 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1311) diff --git a/old/1311-h.zip b/old/1311-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d5a876f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1311-h.zip diff --git a/old/1311-h/1311-h.htm b/old/1311-h/1311-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..07b74b2 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1311-h/1311-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,9900 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + If, by Lord Dunsany + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of If, by +Lord Dunsany [Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: If + +Author: Lord Dunsany [Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + +Release Date: August 21, 2008 [EBook #1311] +Last Updated: January 26, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IF *** + + + + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + If + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Lord Dunsany + </h2> + <h4> + <i>[Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron]</i> + </h4> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + DRAMATIS PERSONAE + </h3> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + JOHN BEAL + MARY BEAL + LIZA + ALI + BERT, BILL: two railway porters + THE MAN IN THE CORNER + MIRALDA CLEMENT + HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN + DAOUD + ARCHIE BEAL + BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers + BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass + ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers + OMAR, a singer + ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz + THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + + Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc. + </pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>IF</b></big> </a> + </p> + <br /> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> ACT I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> ACT II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> ACT III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> ACT IV </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h1> + IF + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT I + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE 1 + </h3> + <p> + A small railway station near London. Time: Ten years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + 'Ow goes it, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Bloody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? What's wrong? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + What's up then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Nothing ain't right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, wot's the worry? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot's the worry? They don't give you better wages nor a dog, and then they + thinks they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say wot they likes, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ain't I! Proper. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, wot about, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let a lidy get into a train. That's + wot about. Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the train was moving. + Thought it was dangerous. Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Wot? The other day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Tuesday? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why. The one that dropped her bag? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. They writes back she shouldn't + 'av got in. She writes back she should. Then they gets on to me. Any more + of it and I'll... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I will. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Don't you, Bill. You've got your family to consider. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Well, anyway, I won't let any more of them passengers go jumping into + trains any more, not when they're moving, I won't. When the train gets in, + doors shut. That's the rule. And they'll 'ave to abide by it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me on the mat again and talk all + that stuff to me. No, if someone 'as to suffer... 'Ere she is. + </p> + <p> + [Noise of approaching train heard.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Ay, that's her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + And shut goes the door. + </p> + <p> + [Enter JOHN BEAL.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Wait a moment, Bill. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Not if he's... Not if he was ever so. + </p> + <p> + JOHN [preparing to pass] + </p> + <p> + Good morning.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Can't come through. Too late. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Too late? Why, the train's only just in. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Don't care. It's the rule. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, nonsense. [He carries on.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + It's too late. I tell you you can't come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But that's absurd. I want to catch my train. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + It's too late. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Let him go, Bill. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I'm blowed if I let him go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I want to catch my train. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed back by the face. JOHN advances + towards BILL looking like fighting. The train has gone.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Only doing my duty. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding it isn't good enough. He shrugs + his shoulders, turns round and goes away.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even with you one of these days, + you..... and some way you won't expect. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 2 + </p> + <p> + Yesterday evening. + </p> + <p> + [Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in their suburban home.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to plant an acacia? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + An acacia, what's that, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it's one of those trees that they have. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But why, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, you see the house is called The Acacias, and it seems rather silly + not to have at least one. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, I don't think that matters. Lots of places are called lots of things. + Everyone does. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, but it might help the postman. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't know an acacia if he saw it any more + than I should. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Quite right, Mary, you're always right. What a clever head you've got! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if you like. I'll ask about it at the + grocer's. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You can't get one there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + No, but he's sure to know where it can be got. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Where do they grow, Mary? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, somewhere. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish I could have gone abroad for a + week or so to places like where acacias grow naturally. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, would you really, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, not really. But I just think of it sometimes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Where would you have gone? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. The East or some such place. I've often heard people + speak of it, and somehow it seemed so... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + The East, John? Not the East. I don't think the East somehow is quite + respectable. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O well, it's all right, I never went, and never shall go now. It doesn't + matter. + </p> + <p> + MARY [the photographs catching her eye] + </p> + <p> + O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dreadful thing happened. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What, Mary? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, and when she came to Jane's she + says she hadn't really begun to dust it, only looked at it, and it fell + down, and that bit of glass is broken right out of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Ask her not to look at it so hard another time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, what do you mean, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, and as I know you believe in + Liza... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, of course not. But she mustn't look so hard another time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + And it's poor little Jane's photograph. She will feel it so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, that's all right, we'll get it mended. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy about it she can have Alice's + frame. Alice is too young to notice it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, George, then. + </p> + <p> + MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] + </p> + <p> + Well, perhaps George might give up his frame. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make her do it now? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. She shall do it to-morrow by the time + you get back from the office. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right. It might have been worse. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It might have been worse. It might have been Aunt Martha. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'd sooner it had been her than poor little Jane. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph she'd have walked in next day and + seen it for certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd have been trouble. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But, John, how could she have known? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know, but she would have; it's a kind of devilish sense she has. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What's the matter? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! What a dreadful word you used. And on a Sunday too! Really! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. I'm very sorry. + </p> + <p> + [Enter LIZA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which isn't, properly speaking, a + gentleman at all. Not what I should call one, that is, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! Whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + He's black. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Black? + </p> + <p> + JOHN [reassuring] + </p> + <p> + O... yes, that would be Ali. A queer old customer, Mary; perfectly + harmless. Our firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; and then one + day... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But what is he doing here, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, one day he turned up in London; broke, he said; and wanted the firm + to give him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for giving him ten + shillings. But I said "here's a man that's helped us in making thousands + of pounds. Let's give him fifty." + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Fifty pounds! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. Ten shillings would have + been an insult to the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. You + don't know what he'd have done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, he doesn't want more? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I expect he's come to thank me. He seemed pretty keen on getting some + cash. Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was doing in London. Never + can tell with these fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + How did he trace you here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, got the address at the office. Briggs and Cater won't let theirs be + known. Not got such a smart little house, I expect. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't like letting people in that you don't know where they come from. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, he comes from the East. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Yes, I—I know. But the East doesn't seem quite to count, somehow, as + the proper sort of place to come from, does it, dear? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some place you can put your finger on. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's any harm in him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, just for once. But we can't make a practice of it. And you don't + want to be thinking of business on a Sunday, your only day off. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it isn't business, you know. He only wants to say thank you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I hope he won't say it in some queer Eastern way. You don't know what + these people.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, no. Show him up, Liza. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + As you like, mum. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + And you gave him fifty pounds? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose that's what he got. Cater paid + him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It seems a lot of money. But I think, as the man is actually coming up the + stairs, I'm glad he's got something to be grateful for. + </p> + <p> + [Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Protector of the Just. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, er—yes. Good evening. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + My soul was parched and you bathed it in rivers of gold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, ah, yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal shall be magnified and called + blessed. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Ha, yes. Very good of you. + </p> + <p> + ALI [advancing, handing trinket] + </p> + <p> + Protector of the Just, my offering. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Your offering? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Hush. It is beyond price. I am not bidden to sell it. I was in my + extremity, but I was not bidden to sell it. It is a token of gratitude, a + gift, as it came to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + As it came to you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Yes, it was given me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. Then you had given somebody what you call rivers of gold? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Not gold; it was in Sahara. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, and what do you give in the Sahara instead of gold? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Water. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And—and what happened? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. It's a nice little thing, but [to + ALI], but you think a lot of it, don't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But look here, what does it do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, at night, and wishes, saying + "At a certain hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will go back eight, + ten, even twelve years if he will, into the past, and do a thing again, or + act otherwise than he did. The day passes; the ten years are accomplished + once again; he is here once more; but he is what he might have become had + he done that one thing otherwise. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I don't understand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + To-night you wish. All to-morrow you live the last ten years; a new way, + master, a new way, how you please. To-morrow night you are here, what + those years have made you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + By Jove! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Have nothing to do with it, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, do you mean one could go back ten + years? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word for it. But look here, you + can't live ten years in a day, you know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + My master has power over time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John, don't have anything to do with him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary. But who is your master? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in the greenest mountains. The + years are his dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard it safely, for + his power is in this more than in all the peaks of his native hills. See + what I give you, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, really, it's very good of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much obliged for your kind offer, which + we are so sorry we can't avail ourselves of. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + One moment, Mary. Do you mean that I can go back ten years, and live till—till + now again, and only be away a day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Start early and you will be here before midnight. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Would eight o'clock do! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + You could be back by eleven that evening. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't quite see how ten years could go in a single day. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + They will go as dreams go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Time is the slave of my master + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm only trying to see what he'll + say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + All right, John, only... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Is there no step that you would wish untrodden, nor stride that you would + make where once you faltered? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I say, why don't you use it yourself? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + I? I am afraid of the past. But you Engleesh, and the great firm of + Briggs, Cater, and Beal; you are afraid of nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Ha, ha. Well—I wouldn't go quite as far as that, but—well, + give me the crystal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Don't take it, John! Don't take it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + If it can do all that—if it can do all that... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Why, you might never have met me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Never have met you? I never thought of that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Leave the past alone, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I want to hear about it, it's so + odd, it's so what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I ever——- + [To ALI.] You mean if I work hard for ten years, which will only be all + to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank of England to-morrow night. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, don't do it, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But you said—I'll be back here before midnight to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + It is so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But the Governor of the Bank of England would live in the City, and he'd + have a much bigger house anyway. He wouldn't live in Lewisham. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + The crystal will bring you to this house when the hour is accomplished, + even tomorrow night. If you be the great banker you will perhaps come to + chastise one of your slaves who will dwell in this house. If you be head + of Briggs and Cater you will come to give an edict to one of your firm. + Perchance this street will be yours and you will come to show your power + unto it. But you will come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And if the house is not mine? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! John! Don't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Still you will come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Shall I remember? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If I want to do anything different to what I did, how shall I remember + when I get back there? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Don't. Don't do anything different, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + All right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Choose just before the hour of the step you desire to change. Memory + lingers a little at first, and fades away slowly. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Five minutes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even ten. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Then I can change one thing. After that I forget. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, it's very good of you to make me this nice present, I'm sure. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart impels. So shall it come + back one day to the hills that are brighter than grass, made richer by the + gratitude of many men. And my master shall smile thereat and the vale + shall be glad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's very good of you, I'm sure. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering with what's gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ALI + </p> + <p> + My master's power is in your hands. Farewell. + </p> + <p> + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I say, he's gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, he's a dreadful man. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I never really meant to take it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, I wish you hadn't + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why? I'm not going to use it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not going to use it, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, no. Not if you don't want me to. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, I'm so glad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And besides, I don't want things different. I've got fond of this little + house. And Briggs is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit of an ass, + but there's no harm in him. In fact, I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even + change Aunt Martha now. + </p> + <p> + [Points at frowning framed photograph centrally hung.] + </p> + <p> + You remember when she first came and you said "Where shall we hang her?" I + said the cellar. You said we couldn't. So she had to go there. But I + wouldn't change her now. I suppose there are old watch-dogs like her in + every family. I wouldn't change anything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, wouldn't you really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I wouldn't even change Aunt Martha. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. I couldn't bear to tamper with + the past. You don't know what it is, it's what's gone. But if it really + isn't gone at all, if it can be dug up like that, why you don't know what + mightn't happen! I don't mind the future, but if the past can come back + like that.... O, don't, don't, John. Don't think of it. It isn't canny. + There's the children, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little ornament. I won't use it. + And I tell you I'm content. [Happily] It's no use to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you really? Is there nothing that + you'd have had different? I sometimes thought you'd rather that Jane had + been a boy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the time, but Arthur's good enough + for me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever regret at all? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you regret, Mary? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would have been better green, but you + would have it red. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I regret. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't suppose there's many men can say that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I don't suppose they can. They're not all married to you. I don't + suppose many of them can. + </p> + <p> + [MARY smiles.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I should think that very few could say that they regretted nothing... very + few in the whole world. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I won't say nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What is it you regret, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, there is one thing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + And what is that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + One thing has rankled a bit. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Yes, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth mentioning. But it rankled for years. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What was it, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, it seems silly to mention it. It was nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, if you want to know, it was once when I missed a train. I don't + mind missing a train, but it was the way the porter pushed me out of the + way. He pushed me by the face. I couldn't hit back, because, well, you + know what lawyers make of it; I might have been ruined. So it just + rankled. It was years ago before we married. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in spite of him. I sometimes think + of it still. Silly of me, isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What a brute of a man. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. But it rankled. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd no right to touch you! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, never mind. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I should like to have been there... I'd have... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd like to have caught it in sp... + [An idea seizes him.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing that can be helped. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Can be helped, John? Whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I mean he'd no right to stop me catching that train. I've got the crystal, + and I'll catch it yet! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. And I won't. I'm too content, + Mary. But this can't alter it. This is nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + What were you going to catch the train for, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + For London. I wasn't at the office then. It was a business appointment. + There was a man who had promised to get me a job, and I was going up to... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John, it may alter your whole life! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never turned up. I got a letter from + him apologising to me before I posted mine to him. It turned out he never + meant to help me, mere meaningless affabilities. He never came to London + that day at all. I should have taken the next train back. That can't + affect the future. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What difference could it make? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + N-n-no. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's wedding. I take it one has to go to + one's brother's wedding. It would take a pretty big change to alter that. + And. you were her bridesmaid. We were bound to meet. And having once met, + well, there you are. If we'd met by chance, in a train, or anything like + that, well, then I admit some little change might alter it. But when we + met at ARCHIE's wedding and you were her bridesmaid, why, Mary, it's a + cert. Besides, I believe in predestination. It was our fate; we couldn't + have missed it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + No, I suppose not; still.. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I don't like it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that infernal train. Just think of it, + annoyed on and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'd rather you didn't, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John, suppose there's a railway accident? You might be killed, and we + should never meet. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + There wasn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + There wasn't, John? What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen. It got safely to London + just ten years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Why, nor there was. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You see how groundless your fears are. I shall catch that train, and all + the rest will happen the same as before. Just think Mary, all those old + days again. I wish I could take you with me. But you soon will be. But + just think of the old days coming back again. Hampton Court again and Kew, + and Richmond Park again with all the May. And that bun you bought, and the + corked ginger-beer, and those birds singing and the 'bus past Isleworth. + O, Mary, you wouldn't grudge me that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, well then all right, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And you will remember there wasn't an accident, won't you? + </p> + <p> + MARY [resignedly, sadly] + </p> + <p> + O, yes, John. And you won't try to get rich or do anything silly, will + you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, Mary. I only want to catch that train. I'm content with the rest. The + same things must happen, and they must lead me the same way, to you, Mary. + Good night, now, dear. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Good night? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I shall stay here on the sofa holding the crystal and thinking. Then I'll + have a biscuit and start at seven. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Thinking, John? What about? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Getting it clear in my mind what I want to do. That one thing and the rest + the same. There must be no mistakes. + </p> + <p> + MARY [sadly] + </p> + <p> + Good night, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Have supper ready at eleven. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Very well, John. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] + </p> + <p> + I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. + </p> + <p> + [He takes the crystal and closes it up in the palm of his left hand.] + </p> + <p> + I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and a day, at, at—8.10 a.m. + to-morrow; 8.10 a.m. to-morrow, 8.10. + </p> + <p> + [Re-enter MARY in doorway.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + John! John! You are sure he did get his fifty pounds? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the money? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Cater paid him, I didn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Are you sure that Cater didn't give him ten shillings? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have done! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, John! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Hmm. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 3 + </p> + <p> + Scene: As in Act I, Scene 1. Time. Ten years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + 'Ow goes it, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Bloody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, what's wrong? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + What's up, then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Nothing ain't right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why, wot's the worry? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot's the worry? They don't give you better wages nor a dog, and then they + thinks they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say wot they likes, like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ain't I! Proper. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? Wot about, Bill? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let a lidy get into a train. That's + wot about. Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the train was moving. + Thought it was dangerous. Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Wot? The other day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT? + </p> + <p> + Tuesday? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Why? The one that dropped her bag? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. They writes back she shouldn't + 'av got in. She writes back she should. Then they gets on to me. Any more + of it and I'll... + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + I will. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Don't you, Bill. You've got your family to consider. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Well, anyway, I won't let any more of them passengers go jumping into + trains any more, not when they're moving, I won't. When the train gets in, + doors shut. That's the rule, and they'll have to abide by it. + </p> + <p> + [Enter JOHN BEAL.] + </p> + <p> + BILL [touching his hat] Good morning, sir. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN does not answer, but walks to the door between them.] + </p> + <p> + Carry your bag, sir? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Go to hell! + </p> + <p> + [Exit through door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ullo. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Somebody's been getting at 'im. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young feller. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Never knew 'im like this. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave yer? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Never in my life. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Well, I never. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + 'Ad some trouble o' some kind. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BERT + </p> + <p> + Must 'ave. + </p> + <p> + [Train is heard.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BILL + </p> + <p> + Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying... + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 4 + </p> + <p> + In a second-class railway carriage. + </p> + <p> + Time: Same morning as Scene 1, Act I. + </p> + <p> + Noise, and a scene drawn past the windows. The scene, showing a momentary + glimpse of fair English hills, is almost entirely placards, "GIVE HER + BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," alternately, for ever. + </p> + <p> + Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man. + </p> + <p> + All sit in stoical silence like the two images near Luxor. The man has the + window seat, and therefore the right of control over the window. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + Would you mind having the window open? + </p> + <p> + THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his shoulders in a shivery way] + </p> + <p> + Er—certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. He opens the window.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + Thank you so much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict her. Stoical silence again.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + Would you mind having it shut now? I think it is rather cold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + Certainly. + </p> + <p> + [He shuts it. Silence again.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + I think I'd like the window open again now for a bit. It is rather stuffy, + isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + Well, I think it's very cold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA CLEMENT + </p> + <p> + O, do you? But would you mind opening it for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MAN IN THE CORNER + </p> + <p> + I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't mind. + </p> + <p> + [She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and her pretty face expresses the + resignation of the Christian martyr in the presence of lions. This for the + benefit of John.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Allow me, madam. + </p> + <p> + [He leans across the window's rightful owner, a bigger man than he, and + opens his window. + </p> + <p> + MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders and, quite sensibly, turns to his + paper.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, thank you so much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Don't mention it. + </p> + <p> + [Silence again.] + </p> + <p> + VOICES OF PORTERS [Off] + </p> + <p> + Fan Kar, Fan Kar. + </p> + <p> + [MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Could you tell me where this is? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. Elephant and Castle. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Thank you so much. It was kind of you to protect me from that horrid man. + He wanted to suffocate me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very glad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I should have been afraid to have done it in spite of him. It was splendid + of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, that was nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, it was, really. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Only too glad to help you in any little way. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It was so kind of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, not at all. + </p> + <p> + [Silence for a bit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I've nobody to help me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Er, er, haven't you really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No, nobody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'd be very glad to help you in any little way. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I wonder if you could advise me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I'd do my best. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You see, I have nobody to advise me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, of course not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I live with my aunt, and she doesn't understand. I've no father or mother. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, er, er, really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. And an uncle died and he left me a hundred thousand pounds. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it out of contrariness as much as + anything. He was always like that to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Was he? Was he really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per cent. He never liked me. Thought I + was too—I don't know what. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + That was five years ago, and I've never got a penny of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really. But, but that's not right. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [sadly] + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Where's it invested? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + In Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Where's that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I don't quite know. I never was good at geography. I never quite knew + where Persia ends. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And what kind of an investment was it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + There's a pass in some mountains that they can get camels over, and a huge + toll is levied on everything that goes by; that is the custom of the tribe + that lives there, and I believe the toll is regularly collected. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And who gets it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben Hussein. But my uncle lent him + all this money, and the toll on the camels was what they call the + security. They always carry gold and turquoise, you know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Do they? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, they get it from the rivers. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It does seem a shame his not paying, doesn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A shame? I should think it is. An awful shame. Why, it's a crying shame. + He ought to go to prison. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard to find him. It isn't as if it was + this side of Persia. It's being on the other side that is such a pity. If + only it was in a country like, like... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'd soon find him. I'd... Why, a man like that deserves anything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is good of you to say that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why, I'd... And you say you never got a penny? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, that is a shame. I call that a downright shame. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Now, what ought I to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Do? Well, now, you know in business there's nothing like being on the + spot. When you're on the spot you can—but then, of course, it's so + far. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is, isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Still, I think you should go if you could. If only I could offer to help + you in any way, I would gladly, but of course... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What would you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and then... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and make him see that you didn't + keep all that money that belonged to someone else. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Would you really? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Nothing would please me better. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Would you really? Would you go all that way? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's just the sort of thing that I should like, apart from the crying + shame. The man ought to be... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + We're getting into Holborn. Would you come and lunch somewhere with me and + talk it over? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to see a man on business first. I've + come up to see him. And then after that, after that there was something I + wanted to do after that. I can't think what it was. But something I wanted + to do after that. O, heavens, what was it? + </p> + <p> + [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Can't you think? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. O, well, it can't have been so very important. And yet... Well, where + shall we lunch? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Gratzenheim's. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Right. What time? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + One-thirty. Would that suit? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like Hussein in prison. I'd like... O, I + beg your pardon. + </p> + <p> + [He hurries to open the door. Exit MIRALDA.] + </p> + <p> + Now what was it I wanted to do afterwards? + </p> + <p> + [Throws hand to forehead.] O, never mind. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT II + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE + </h3> + <p> + JOHN's tent in Al Shaldomir. There are two heaps of idols, left and right, + lying upon the ground inside the tent. DAOUD carries another idol in his + arms. JOHN looks at its face. + </p> + <p> + Six months have elapsed since the scene in the second-class railway + carriage. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + This god is holy. + </p> + <p> + [He points to the left heap. DAOUD carries it there and lays it on the + heap.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You are in no wise to call me great master. Have not I said so? I am not + your master. I am helping you people. I know better than you what you + ought to do, because I am English. But that's all. I'm not your master, + See? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, go and get some more idols. Hurry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, I go. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I can't make these people out. + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [returning] + </p> + <p> + I have three gods. + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to the two smaller idols + first] These two are holy. This one is unholy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Put them on the heap. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD does so, two left, one right.] + </p> + <p> + Get some more. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD salaams. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [Looking at right heap.] What a—what a filthy people + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD with two idols.] + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny] + </p> + <p> + This god is holy, this is unholy. + </p> + <p> + [Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bowler" hat.] + </p> + <p> + Why, ARCHIE, this is splendid of you! You've come! Why, that's splendid! + All that way! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE, it's grand of you to come! I never ought to have asked it of you, + only... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that's all right. But what in the world are you doing? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE, it's splendid of you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all this? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, this. Well, well they're the very oddest people here. It's a long + story. But I wanted to tell you first how enormously grateful I am to you + for coming. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that's all right. But I want to know what you're doing with all these + genuine antiques. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, ARCHIE, the fact of it is they're a real odd lot of people here. + I've learnt their language, more or less, but I don't think I quite + understand them yet. A lot of them are Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed, + you know. He's dead. But a lot of them worship these things, and... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what have you got 'em all in here for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with them, but, well, I simply had + to. You see there's two sorts of idols here; they offer fruit and rats to + some of them; they lay them on their hands or their laps. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why do they offer them rats? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. They don't know either. It's the right thing to do out + here, it's been the right thing for hundreds of years; nobody exactly + knows why. It's like the bows we have on evening shoes, or anything else. + But it's all right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what are you putting them in heaps for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Because there's the other kind, the ones with wide mouths and rust round + them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They offer blood to them, ARCHIE. They pour it down their throats. + Sometimes they kill people, sometimes they only bleed them. It depends how + much blood the idol wants. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + How much blood it wants? Good Lord! How do they know? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The priests tell them. Sometimes they fill them up to their necks—they're + all hollow, you know. In spring it's awful. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why are they worse in spring? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't know. The priests ask for more blood then. Much more. They say it + always was so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And you're stopping it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm letting them worship those. Of + course, it's idolatry and all that kind of thing, but I don't like + interfering short of actual murder. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And they're obeying you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + 'M, y-yes. I think so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + You must have got a great hold over them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I don't know about that. It's the pass that counts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + The pass? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that place you came over. It's the only way anyone can get here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass affect these idols? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It affects everything here. If that pass were closed no living man would + ever enter or leave, or even hear of, this country. It's absolutely cut + off except for that one pass. Why, ARCHIE, it isn't even on the map. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody. No one else counts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And who does own it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called Hussein, but Miss Clement's + uncle, a man called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer, seems to have come + this way; and I think he understood what this pass is worth. Anyhow, he + lent Hussein a big sum of money and got an acknowledgment from Hussein. + Old Hinnard must have been a wonderfully shrewd man. For that + acknowledgment is no more legal than an I.O.U., and Hussein is simply a + brigand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Not very good security. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself respects that piece of parchment + he signed. There's the name of some god or other written on it Hussein is + frightened of. Now you see how things are. That pass is as holy as all the + gods that there are in Al Shaldomir. Hussein possesses it. But he owes an + enormous sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am here as her agent; and + you've come to help me like a great sportsman. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, never mind that. Well, it all seems pretty simple. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I don't know, ARCHIE. Hussein admits the debt, but... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't know what he'll do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Wants watching, does he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of responsible for all these silly people. + Somebody's got to look after them. Daoud! + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [off] + </p> + <p> + Great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Bring in some more gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I can't get them to stop calling me absurd titles. They're so infernally + Oriental. + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He's got two big ones this time. + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE] + </p> + <p> + You see, there is rust about their mouths. [To DAOUD]: They are both + unholy. + </p> + <p> + [He points to R. heap, and DAOUD puts them there. To DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + Bring in some more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, there are no more gods in Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It is well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + What orders, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Listen. At night you shall come and take these gods away. These shall be + worshipped again in their own place, these you shall cast into the great + river and tell no man where you cast them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You will do this, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I am sorry to make you do it. You are sad that you have to do it. Yet it + must be done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, I am sad, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But why are you sad, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, in times you do not know these gods were holy. In times you + have not guessed. In old centuries, master, perhaps before the pass. Men + have prayed to them, sorrowed before them, given offerings to them. The + light of old hearths has shone on them, flames from old battles. The + shadow of the mountains has fallen on them, so many times, master, so many + times. Dawn and sunset have shone on them, master, like firelight + flickering; dawn and sunset, dawn and sunset, flicker, flicker, flicker + for century after century. They have sat there watching the dawns like old + men by the fire. They are so old, master, so old. And some day dawn and + sunset will die away and shine on the world no more, and they would have + still sat on in the cold. And now they go... They are our history, master, + they are our old times. Though they be bad times they are our times, + master; and now they go. I am sad, master, when the old gods go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But they are bad gods, Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I am sad when the bad gods go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They must go, Daoud. See, there is no one watching. Take them now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, great master. + </p> + <p> + [He takes up the largest of the gods with rust.] + </p> + <p> + Come, Aho-oomlah, thou shalt not drink Nideesh. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Was Nideesh to have been sacrificed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + He was to have been drunk by Aho-oomlah. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Nideesh. Who is he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + He is my son. + </p> + <p> + [Exit with Aho-oomlah. JOHN BEAL almost gasps.] + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE BEAL [who has been looking round the tent] + </p> + <p> + What has he been saying? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They're—they're a strange people. I can't make them out. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Is that the heap that oughtn't to be worshipped? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, do you know, I'm going to chuck this hat there. It doesn't seem to + me somehow to be any more right here than those idols would be at home. + Odd isn't it? Here goes. + </p> + <p> + [He throws hat on right heap of idols. JOHN BEAL does not smile.] + </p> + <p> + Why, what's the matter? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't like to see a decent Christian hat among these filthy idols. + They've all got rust on their mouths. I don't like to see it, Archie; it's + sort of like what they call an omen. I don't like it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Do they keep malaria here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't think so. Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Then what's the matter, Johnny? Your nerves are bad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You don't know these people, and I've brought you out here. I feel kind of + responsible. If Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't know what he'd do, with + all those idols and all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He'll give 'em a drink, you mean. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Don't, ARCHIE. There's no saying. And I feel responsible for you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, they can have my hat. It looks silly, somehow. I don't know why. + What are we going to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, now that you've come we can go ahead. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Righto. What at? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and get everything clear in black and + white, and see just what he owes to Miss Miralda Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But they don't keep accounts here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How do you know? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, of course they don't. One can see that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But they must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, you haven't changed a bit for your six months here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Haven't changed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. Just quietly thinking of business. You'll be a great business man, + Johnny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But we must do business; that's what I came here for. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + You'll never make these people do it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what do you suggest? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Let's have a look at old Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's what I have been waiting for. Daoud! + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [off] + </p> + <p> + Master. [Enters.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass and beat on the outer door. Say + that I desire to see him. Pray him to come to my tent. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD bows and Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace to ask Hussein to come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Lives in a palace, does he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place. It's bigger than the Mansion + House, much. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + And you're going to teach him to keep accounts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems almost like being rude to the Lord + Mayor. But there's two things I can't stand—cheating in business is + one and murder's another. I've got to interfere. You see, if one happens + to know the right from wrong as we do, we've simply got to tell people who + don't. But it isn't pleasant. I almost wish I'd never come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, it's the greatest sport in the world. It's splendid. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't see it that way. To me those idols are just horrid murder. And + this man owes money to this girl with no one to look after her, and he's + got to pay. But I hate being rude to a man in a place like the Mansion + House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord, who am I? It seems such cheek. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is she pretty? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What, Miss Miralda? Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what I mean is—what's she like? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say. She's, she's tall and she's fair + and she's got blue eyes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is she? How does she strike you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets this money, and she hasn't got + any job that's any good, and no real prospects bar this, and nobody + particular by birth, and doesn't know anybody who is, and lives in the + least fashionable suburb and can only just afford a second-class fare + and... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes, go on. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + And yet somehow she sort of seems like a—like a queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Lord above us! And what kind of a queen? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. Well, look here, ARCHIE, it's only my impression. I don't + know her well yet. It's only my impression. I only tell you in absolute + confidence. You won't pass it on to anybody, of course. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, no. Go on. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I don't know, only she seemed more like well, a kind of autocrat, + you know, who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't mean that, only... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + So you're not going to marry her? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd never dare ask her. She's not that + sort. I tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good Lord!) she'd be a queen + if it wasn't for Hussein, or something very like one. We can't go marrying + queens. Anyhow, not one like her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why not one like her? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I tell you—she's a—well, a kind of goddess. You couldn't ask + her if she loved you. It would be such, such... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Such what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Such infernal cheek. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with her. But it seems to me you'll + be seeing a good deal of her some day if we pull this off. And then, my + boy-o, you'll be going and getting in love with her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to the Queen of Sheba. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you from her all I can. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Protect me from her? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, because there's lots of other girls and it seems to me you might be + happier with some of them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But you haven't even seen her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect you I somehow think I will. And + if I'm not ... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, and what then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does everything. I can't protect you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but... + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [off] + </p> + <p> + I am here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Be seen. + </p> + <p> + [HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike Bluebeard.] + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] My brother. + </p> + <p> + [ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is + over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and Hussein then bow to each other.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + You desired my presence. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I am honoured. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + And I. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, lent you one thousand greater + gold pieces, which in our money is one hundred thousand pounds, as you + acknowledge. [Hussein nods his head.] And every year you were to pay him + for this two hundred and fifty of your greater gold pieces—as you + acknowledge also. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Even so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + And this you have not yet had chance to pay, but owe it still. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + And now Hinnard is dead. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Peace be with him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who instructs me to be her agent. + What have you to say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Peace be with Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You acknowledge your debt to this lady, Miss Miralda Clement? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I know her not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You will not pay your debt? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I will pay. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + If you bring the gold to my tent, my brother will take it to Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I do not pay to Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + To whom do you pay? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I pay to Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Hinnard is dead. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + I pay to Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How will you pay to Hinnard? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + If he be buried in the sea... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He is not buried at sea. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + If he be buried by any river I go to the god of rivers. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He is buried on land near no river. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Therefore I will go to a bronze god of earth, very holy, having the soil + in his care and the things of earth. I will take unto him the greater + pieces of gold due up to the year when the white traveller died, and will + melt them in fire at his feet by night on the mountains, saying, "O, + Lruru-onn (this is his name) take this by the way of earth to the grave of + Hinnard." And so I shall be free of my debt before all gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But not before me. I am English. And we are greater than gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What's that, Johnny? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He won't pay, but I told him we're English and that they're greater than + all his bronze gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's right, Johnny. + </p> + <p> + [HUSSEIN looks fiercely at ARCHIE. He sees ARCHIE's hat lying before a big + idol. He points at the hat and looks in the face of the idol.] + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [to the idol] Drink! Drink! + </p> + <p> + [He bows. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What's that he's saying? + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [meditatively] O, nothing—nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He won't pay, oh? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, not to Miss Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Who to? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + To one of his gods. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That won't do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What'll we do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in England. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, it isn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + If we were in England... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I know; if we were in England you could call a policeman. I tell you what + it is, Johnny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I tell you what; you want to see more of Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, because at the present moment our friend Hussein is a craftier fellow + than you, and looks like getting the best of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help us? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, because you want to be a bit craftier than Hussein, and I fancy she + might make you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + She? How? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We're mostly made what we are by some woman or other. We think it's our + own cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are you're no match for + Hussein, but if you altered... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, ARCHIE; where did you get all those ideas from? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You never used to talk like that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You haven't been getting in love, ARCHIE, have you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What are we to do about Hussein? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda. I got a letter from her the same + day I got yours. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What does she say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I couldn't make it out. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What were her words? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + She said she was going into it closer. She underlined closer. What could + she mean by that? How could she get closer? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, the same way as I did. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + How do you mean? I don't understand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + By coming here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + By coming here? But she can't come here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why not? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Because it's impossible. Absolutely impossible. Why—good Lord—she + couldn't come here. Why, she'd want a chaperon and a house and—and—everything. + Good Lord, she couldn't come here. It would be—well it would be + impossible—it couldn't be done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, all right. Then I don't know what she meant. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + ARCHIE! You don't really think she'd come here? You don't really think it, + do you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of girl might do, but of + course I can't say... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Good Lord, ARCHIE! That would be awful. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + But why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why? But what would I do? Where would she go? Where would her chaperon go? + The chaperon would be some elderly lady. Why, it would kill her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, if it did you've never met her, so you needn't go into mourning for + an elderly lady that you don't know; not yet, anyway. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, of course not. You're laughing at me, ARCHIE. But for the moment I + took you seriously. Of course, she won't come. One can go into a thing + closely without doing it absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't it + be an awful situation if she did. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + All alone with me here? No, impossible. And the country isn't civilised. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL. + </p> + <p> + Women aren't civilised. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Women aren't...? Good Lord, ARCHIE, what an awful remark. What do you + mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We're tame, they're wild. We like all the dull things and the quiet + things, they like all the romantic things and the dangerous things. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, ARCHIE, it's just the other way about. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and all the dangerous things. But + why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why? Because we like them, I suppose. I can't think of any other reason. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I hate danger. Don't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Er—well, yes, I suppose I do, really. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Of course you do. We all do. It's the women that put us up to it. She's + putting you up to this. And the more she puts you up to the more likely is + Hussein to get it in his fat neck. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But—but you don't mean you'd hurt Hussein? Not—not badly, I + mean. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We're under her orders, Johnny. See what she says. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You, you don't really think she'll come here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Of course I do, and the best thing too. It's her show; she ought to come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But, but you don't understand. She's just a young girl, A girl like Miss + Miralda couldn't come out here over the pass and down these mountains, + she'd never stand it, and as for the chaperon... You've never met Miss + Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to get you to go from Bromley to + this place can look after herself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't see what that's got to do with it. She was in trouble and I had to + help her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way here from Blackheath, and + everyone will have to help her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What beats me is how you can have the very faintest inkling of what she's + like without ever having seen her and without my having spoken of her to + you for more than a minute. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird, you're not a traveller by + nature, barring your one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took you + there. And contrariwise, as they say in a book you've never read, you're a + levelheaded business man and a hardworking respectable stay-at-home. You + meet a girl in a train, and the next time I see you you're in a place that + isn't marked on the map and telling it what gods it ought to worship and + what gods it ought to have agnosticism about. Well, I say some girl. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I must say you make the most extraordinary deductions, but it was + awfully good of you to come, and I ought to be grateful; and I am, too, + I'm awfully grateful; and I ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go + ahead. You shall say what you like and do what you like. It isn't many + brothers that would do what you've done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that's nothing. I like this country. I'm glad I came. And if I can help + you with Hussein, why all the better. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + It's an awful country, Archie, but we've got to see this through. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Does she know all about Hussein? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, everything. I've written fully. + </p> + <p> + OMAR [Off] + </p> + <p> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, The nightingales that guard thy ways... + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [shouting| + </p> + <p> + O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said it was an awful country. They sit + down outside one's tent and do that kind of thing for no earthly reason. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I'd let them sing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, you can't have people doing that kind of thing. + </p> + <p> + OMAR [in doorway] + </p> + <p> + Master, I go. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But why do you come? + </p> + <p> + <br /> OMAR + </p> + <p> + I came to sing a joyous song to you, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why did you want to sing me a joyous song? + </p> + <p> + <br /> OMAR + </p> + <p> + Because a lady is riding out of the West. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + A lady out of... Good Lord! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + She's coming, Johnny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said a lady; there'd be the chaperon + too. There'd be two of them if it was Miss Miralda. But he said a lady. + One lady. It can't be her. A girl like that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean + off the map. Oh, no, it isn't possible. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't worry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the situation's impossible. People would + talk. Don't you see what people would say? And where could they go? Who + would look after them? Do try and understand how awful it is. But it + isn't. It's impossible. It can't be them. For heaven's sake run out and + see if it is; and (good Lord!) I haven't brushed my hair all day, and, and—oh, + look at me. + </p> + <p> + [He rushes to camp mirror. Exit ARCHIE. + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately. + </p> + <p> + Enter ARCHIE.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + It's what you call THEM. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What I call THEM? Whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, it's her. She's just like what you said. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can never have been able to afford + a horse. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + She's on a camel. She'll be here in a moment. [He goes to door.] Hurry up + with that hair; she's dismounted. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, Lord! What's the chaperon like? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, she's attending to that herself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Attending to it herself? What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I expect she'll attend to most things. + </p> + <p> + [Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in doorway of tent, pulling back flap a little.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Who are you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + I show the gracious lady to your tent. + </p> + <p> + [Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing a smile to HAFIZ.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Hullo, Mr. Beal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Er—er—how do you do? + </p> + <p> + [She looks at ARCHIE.] + </p> + <p> + O, this is my brother—Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + How do you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I like this country. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid I hardly expected you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Didn't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. You see er—it's such a long way. And wasn't it very expensive? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, the captain of the ship was very kind to me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O! But what did you do when you landed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, there were some Arabs coming this way in a caravan. They were really + very good to me too. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But the camel? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, there were some people the other side of the mountains. Everybody has + been very kind about it. And then there was the man who showed me here. + He's called Hafiz el Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But, you know, this country, Miss Clement, I'm half afraid it's hardly—isn't + it, Archie? Er—how long did you think of staying? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, a week or so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I don't know what you'll think of Al Shaldomir. I'm afraid you'll find + it... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the mountains, and the one pass, and no + record of it anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You see, I'm afraid—what I mean is I'm afraid the place isn't even + on the map! + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, that's lovely of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + All decent places are. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You mean if a place is on the map we've got to behave accordingly. But if + not, why... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Hussein won't pay. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Let's see Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a savage-looking brigand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Never mind. + </p> + <p> + [ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling sometimes.] + </p> + <p> + Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the unholy heap and takes away two large idols, + one under each arm. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + What's that, Mr. Beal? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible. I told you it was an awful + country. They pray to these idols here, and some are all right, though of + course it's terribly blasphemous, but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well + that heap is very bad indeed. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What do they do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + They kill people. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Do they? How? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid they pour their blood down those horrible throats. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Do they? How do you know? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I've seen them do it, and those mouths are all rusty. But it's all right + now. It won't happen any more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Won't it? Why not? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, I... + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're all going to be thrown into the + river. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Have you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now. They won't do it any more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + H'm. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What, what is it? I promise you that's all right. They won't do that any + more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + H'm. I've never known anyone that tried to govern a country or anything of + that sort, but... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put them right.... I'd be very + glad of your advice... Of course, I'm only here in your name. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What I mean is that I'd always thought that the one thing you shouldn't + do, if you don't mind my saying so... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, certainly. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Was to interfere in people's religious beliefs. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But, but I don't think you quite understand. The priests knife these + people in the throat, boys and girls, and then acolytes lift them up and + the blood runs down. I've seen them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I think it's best to leave religion to the priests. They understand that + kind of thing. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror and looks at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns + the glance; there is very nearly a twinkle in ARCHIE's eyes.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Let's see Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + What do you think, Archie? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Poor fellow. We'd better send for him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why do you say "poor fellow"? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's awful to be in debt. I'd sooner + almost anything happened to me than to owe a lot of money. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Your remark didn't sound very complimentary. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt. And I should hate owing money + to you, Because... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Because I should so awfully want to pay it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I see. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's all I meant. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Does Hussein awfully want to pay it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He will then, of course. + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy heap.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Daoud, for the present these gods must stay. Aho-oomlah's gone, but the + rest must stay for the present. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Daoud, go once more to the palace of the Lord of the Pass and beat the + outer door. Say that the great lady herself would see him. The great lady, + Miss Clement, the white traveller's heiress. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Yes, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Hasten. + </p> + <p> + [Exit DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + I have sent him for Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I don't know their language. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You will see him, and I'll tell you what he says. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [to ARCHIE] + </p> + <p> + Have you been here long? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No. I think he wrote to me by the same mail as he wrote to you (if they + have mails here). I came at once. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + So did I; but you weren't on the Empress of Switzerland. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, I came round more by land. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein in here to see you. He's such a—he's + rather a... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What's the matter with him? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and one doesn't know what he'll do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, we must see him first and hear what he has to say before we take any + steps. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what do you propose to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or gives up the security... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The security is the pass. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes. If he gives up that or pays... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You know he's practically king of the whole country. It seems rather cheek + almost my sending for him like this. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He must come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what are you going to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + If he gives up the pass... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be you'd be a kind of queen of it all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, if he does that, all right... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But what if he doesn't? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why, if he doesn't pay... + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [off] + </p> + <p> + I am here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Be seen. + </p> + <p> + [Enter HUSSEIN.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HUSSEIN + </p> + <p> + Greeting once more. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Again greeting.... The great lady, Miss Clement, is here. + </p> + <p> + [HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each other.] + </p> + <p> + You will pay to Miss Clement and not to your god of bronze. On the word of + an Englishman, your god of bronze shall not have one gold piece that + belongs to the great lady! + </p> + <p> + HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous] + </p> + <p> + On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only pay to Hinnard. + </p> + <p> + [He stands smiling while MIRALDA regards him. Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He won't pay. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What are we to do now? + </p> + <p> + JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA] + </p> + <p> + I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to introduce you to like that. I'm + sorry he came now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, I like him, I think he looks splendid. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, what are we to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + What do you say, Miss Clement? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, what do you feel we ought to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, no. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, it's your money. What do you think we really ought to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, of course, I think you ought to kill Hussein. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look at each other a little startled.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But wouldn't that—wouldn't that be—murder? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, yes, according to the English law. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I see; you mean—you mean we're not—but we are English. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I mean it wouldn't be murder—by your law, unless you made it so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + By my law? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, if you can interfere with their religion like this, and none of them + say a word, why—you can make any laws you like. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the Pass, and that's everything + here. I'm nobody. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's different. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I think she means that if Hussein weren't there there'd be only you. Of + course, I don't know. I've only just come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + But we can't kill Hussein! + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA begins to cry.] + </p> + <p> + O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said + anything you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for worlds. I'm awfully + sorry. It's a beastly country, I know. I'm really sorry you came. I feel + it's all my fault. I'm really awfully sorry... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Never mind. Never mind. I was so helpless, and I asked you to help me. I + never ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have spoken to you at all in + that train without being introduced; but I was so helpless. And now, and + now, I haven't a penny in the world, and, O, I don't know what to do. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Anything in the wide world. Please, please don't cry. We'll do anything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I... I only, I only wanted to—to kill Hussein. But never mind, it + doesn't matter now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we, Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. + I—I suppose he deserves it, doesn't he? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, I suppose he does. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled. My brother and I will talk + it over. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [still sniping] + </p> + <p> + And—and—don't hang him or anything—he looks so fine.... + I—I wouldn't like him treated like that. He has such a grand beard. + He ought to die fighting. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's sweet of both of you. I don't + know what I d have done without you. I seemed to know it that day the + moment I saw you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + O, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's all right. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the trouble. That's what I've been + thinking of + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why, isn't there... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to do, Archie. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + I—I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement would have a scheme. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL] + </p> + <p> + I rely on you, Mr. Beal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I—I; but what can I... You see, you're all alone. If you'd anyone + with you, you could have... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt. But on the whole I thought it + better not to tell anyone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Not to tell... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No, on the whole I didn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + I say, Archie, what are we to do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Here's Daoud. + </p> + <p> + [Enter DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir! + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I have brought two watchers of the doorstep to guard the noble lady. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + He says he's brought two watchers of the doorstep to look after Miss + Clement. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go anywhere now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Well, really, that is better. Yes that will be all right. We can find a + room for you now. The trouble was your being alone. I hope you'll like + them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them to enter here. + </p> + <p> + DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway] + </p> + <p> + Ho! Enter! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + That's all right, ARCHIE, isn't it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> ARCHIE BEAL + </p> + <p> + Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a chaperon, black or white. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + You won't mind their being black, will you, Miss Clement? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse than white ones. + </p> + <p> + [Enter BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock + fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at them. They begin to fan + slightly.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + The watchers of the doorstep. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN BEAL + </p> + <p> + Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may not guard a lady's door. + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile ingratiatingly.] + </p> + <p> + We are not men. + </p> + <p> + BAZZALOL [bowing] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + Six and a half years elapse + </p> + <p> + <br /> THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + When morn is bright on the mountains olden + Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day, + When morn is bright and the marshes golden, + Where shall the lost lights fade away? + And where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + </pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows + Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray, + And the water is streaked with the flash of + swallows + And all through summer the iris sway. + But where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + When night is black in the iris marshes. + </pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT III + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE 1 + </h3> + <p> + Six and a half years later. Al Shaldomir. A room in the palace. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions, JOHN beside her. + </p> + <p> + Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them. + </p> + <p> + OMAR [declaiming to a zither] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + The nightingales that guard thy ways + Cease not to give thee, after God + And after Paradise, all praise. + Thou art the theme of all their lays. + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir.... + </pre> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Go now, Omar. + </p> + <p> + <br /> OMAR + </p> + <p> + O lady, I depart. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [languidly] + </p> + <p> + John, John. I wish you'd marry me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miralda, you're thinking of those old customs again that we left behind us + seven years ago. What's the good of it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I had a fancy that I wished you would. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What's the good of it? You know you are my beloved. There are none of + those clergymen within hundreds of miles. What's the good of it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + We could find one, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, yes, I suppose we could, but... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why won't you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I told you why. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, yes, that instinct that you must not marry. That's not your reason, + John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, it is. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason. It's no reason at all. There's + some other reason. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, there isn't. But I feel that in my bones. I don't know why. You know + that I love none else but you. Besides, we're never going back, and it + doesn't matter. This isn't Blackheath. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + So I must live as your slave. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my slave. Did not the singer compare + our love to the desire of the nightingale for the evening star? All know + that you are my queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + They do not know at home. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Home? Home? How could they know? What have we in common with home? Rows + and rows of little houses; and if they hear a nightingale there they write + to the papers. And—and if they saw this they'd think they were + drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd. What has set you thinking of home? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I want to be crowned queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But I am not a king. I am only Shereef. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You are all-powerful here, John, you can do what you please, if you wish + to. You don't love me at all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't I kill Hussein for you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Yes, but you don't love me now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And Hussein's people killed ARCHIE. That was for you too. I brought my + brother out here to help you. He was engaged to be married, too. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + But you don't love me now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves the iris marshes. You know the + song they sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III) + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Then why won't you marry me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I told you, I told you. I had a dream about the future. I forgot the + dream, but I know I was not to marry. I will not wrong the future. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Don't be crazy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will have what fancies I please, crazy or sane. Am I not Shereef of + Shaldomir? Who dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I will be crowned queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It is not my wish. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I will, I will, I will. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast into a well and take twenty of + the fairest daughters of Al Shaldomir in your place, who can gainsay me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I will be crowned queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, do not be tiresome. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Was it not my money that brought you here? Was it not I who said "Kill + Hussein"? What power could you have had, had Hussein lived? What would you + have been doing now, but for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know, Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Catching some silly train to the City. Working for some dull firm. Living + in some small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought you from all that, + and you won't make me a queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Is it not enough that you are my beloved? You know there is none other but + you. Is it not enough, Miralda? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It is not enough. I will be queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Tchah!... Miralda, I know you are a wonderful woman, the most wonderful in + the East; how you ever came to be in the West I don't know, and a train of + all places; but, Miralda, you must not have petty whims, they don't become + you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, when it is only the name you want. You are a queen. You have all you + wish for. Are you not my beloved? And have I not power here over all men? + Could I not close the pass? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I want to be queen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do than to sit and hear your whims. + When I come back you will have some other whim. Miralda, you have too many + whims. + </p> + <p> + [He rises.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Will you be back soon? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + When will you come back, John? + </p> + <p> + [She is reclining, looking fair, fanning slightly.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + In half an hour. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + In half an hour? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Half an hour. + </p> + <p> + [Her fan is laid down. She clutches it with sudden resolve. She goes to + the wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans against it. She fans herself + now with obvious deliberation. Three times the great fan goes pat against + the window, and then again separately three times; and then she puts it + against the window once with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled. She + returns to the cushions and reclines with beautiful care, fanning herself + softly. + </p> + <p> + Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady! You bade me come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Did I, Hafiz? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, your fan. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Ah, I was fanning myself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Seven times, lady. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Ah, was it? Well, now you're here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, O star of these times. O light over lonely marshes. [He kneels by + her and embraces her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + For half an hour, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + How know you for half an hour? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He said so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a man say so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I know him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + In our country who knows any man so much? None. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He'll be away for half an hour. + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ [embracing] + </p> + <p> + O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + I would do all things, lady, O evening star. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRANDA + </p> + <p> + Would you make me a queen, Hafiz? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + If—if the Shereef were gathered? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Even so, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, I would make you queen of all that lies west of the passes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRANDA + </p> + <p> + You would make me queen? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Indeed, before all my wives, before all women, over all Shaldomir, named + the elect. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me. [HAFIZ does so ad lib.] + </p> + <p> + Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + The appointed hour? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Even the appointed hour, the last, leading to darkness. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's hour is soon? + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a banquet. Let the great ones of + Shaldomir be bidden there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + There shall be a banquet, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of the garden. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + It shall be soon, Hafiz. [More embraces.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son of the baker. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He shall be bidden, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + O lady, it is well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Go now, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL]. Silence. Silence. Silence. + </p> + <p> + BAZZALOL [kneeling] + </p> + <p> + O, master! + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out; but do you be silent. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Aye, master. + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA] + </p> + <p> + And you. Though this one speak, yet be silent, or dread the shadow of + Hafiz el Alcolahn. + </p> + <p> + [He drops a bag of gold. THOOTHOOBABA goes down and grabs at the gold; his + eyes gloat over it.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> THOOTHOOBABA + </p> + <p> + Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h. + </p> + <p> + [Exit HAFIZ. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA arranges herself on the cushions. She looks idly at each Nubian. + The Nubians put each a finger over his lips and go on fanning with one + hand.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen. + </p> + <p> + [Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him caressingly. + </p> + <p> + Enter DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + Oh, you have brought Daoud with you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why not? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You know that I don't like Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I wish to speak with him. + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and moves away in silence. Exit L.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery of those called Blessed, beyond + the city's gates, you swore to me by the graves of both your parents.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Great master, even so I swore. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + .... to be true to me always. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + There is no Shereef but my master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud, you have kept your word. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I have sought to, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You have helped me often, Daoud, warned me and helped me often. Through + you I knew those currents that run through the deeps of the market, in + silence and all men feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of them, and + when I knew—then I could look after myself, Daoud. They could do + nothing against me then. Well, now I hold this people. I hold them at + last, Daoud, and now —well, I can rest a little. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Not in the East, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Not in the East, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why? What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + In Western countries, master, whose tales I have read, in a wonderful book + named the "Good Child's History of England," in the West a man hath power + over a land, and lo! the power is his and descends to his son's son after + him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, doesn't it in the East? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Not if he does not watch, master; in the night and the day, and in the + twilight between the day and the night, and in the dawn between the night + and the day. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I thought you had pretty long dynasties in these parts, and pretty lazy + ones. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, he that was mightiest of those that were kings in Babylon had a + secret door prepared in an inner chamber, which led to a little room, the + smallest in the palace, whose back door opened secretly to the river, even + to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited all the days of his reign. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Did he really now? Well, he was taking no chances. Did he have to use it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. Such boats are never used. Those that watch like that do not + need to seek them, and the others, they would never be able to reach the + river in time, even though the boat were there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I shouldn't like to have to live like that. Why, a river runs by the back + of this palace. I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm glad I don't + have to keep a boat there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what is it you are worrying about? Who is it you are afraid of? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Hafiz el Alcolahn. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately I ordered my spies to watch him + no longer. Why does he hate me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Because, most excellent master, you slew Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Slew Hussein? What is that to do with him? May I not slay whom I please? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, master. Even so. But he was Hussein's enemy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + His enemy, eh? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + For years he had dreamed of the joy of killing Hussein. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, he should have done it before I came. We don't hang over things and + brood over them for years where I come from. If a thing's to be done, it's + done. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans for years. He would have killed + him and got his substance; and then, when the hour drew near, you came, + and Hussein died, swiftly, not as Hafiz would have had him die; and lo! + thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz is no more than a beetle that + runs about in the dirt. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, so you fear Hafiz? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not Hafiz. But, master, hast thou + seen when the thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard and the sky is + scarce yet black, how little winds run in the grass and sigh and die; and + the flower beckons a moment with its head; all the world full of whispers, + master, all saying nothing; then the lightning, master, and the anger of + God; and men say it came without warning? [Simply.] I hear those things + coming, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, it is all silent in the market. Once, when the price of turquoises + was high, men abused the Shereef. When the merchant men could not sell + their pomegranates for silver they abused the Shereef. It is men's way, + master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the market. It is like the + grasses with the idle winds, that whisper and sigh and die away; like the + flowers beckoning to nothing. And so, master, and so.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see, you fear some danger. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I fear it, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What danger, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, I know not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + From what quarter, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir, named the elect, from that quarter. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + That quarter? Why, that is the gracious lady's innermost chamber. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + From that quarter, great master, O Lord of the Pass. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud, I have cast men into prison for saying less than this. Men have + been flogged on the feet for less than this. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Slay me, master, but hear my words. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will not slay you. You are mistaken, Daoud. You have made a great + mistake. The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady has scarcely seen + Hafiz. She knows nothing of the talk of the market. Who could tell her? No + one comes here. It is absurd. Only the other day she said to me... But it + is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the people would never rebel + against me. Do I not govern them well? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why should they rebel, then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They think of the old times, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + The old times? Why, their lives weren't safe. The robbers came down from + the mountains and robbed the market whenever they had a mind. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, men were content in the old times. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But were the merchants content? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Those that loved merchandise were content, master. Those that loved it not + went into the mountains. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But were they content when they were robbed? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They soon recovered their losses, master. Their prices were unjust and + they loved usury. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And were the people content with unjust prices? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Some were, master, as men have to be in all countries. The others went + into the mountains and robbed the merchants. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + But now, master, a man robs a merchant and he is cast into prison. Now a + man is slain in the market and his son, his own son, master, may not + follow after the aggressor and slay him and burn his house. They are + ill-content, master. No man robs the merchants, no man slays them, and the + merchants' hearts are hardened and they oppress all men. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see. They don't like good government? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They sigh for the old times, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for them, they want their old + bad government back again. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + It is the old way, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well, we must watch. You have warned me + once again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you are wrong, Daoud, about the + gracious lady. You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are mistaken, + Daoud. I know it could not be. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am mistaken. Yet, watch. Watch, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I will watch. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + And, master, if ever I come to you bearing oars, then watch no longer, + master, but follow me through the banquet chamber and through the room + beyond it. Move as the wild deer move when there is danger, without + pausing, without wondering, without turning round; for in that hour, + master, in that hour.... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Through the room beyond the banquet chamber, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Aye, master, following me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But there is no door beyond, Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Master, I have prepared a door. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A door, Daoud? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + A door none wots of, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Whither does it lead? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + To a room that you know not of, a little room; you must stoop, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, and then? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + To the river, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + The river! But there's no boat there. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Under the golden willow, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A boat? + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even so, under the branches. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Is it come to that?... No, Daoud, all this is unnecessary. It can't come + to that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + If ever I come before you bearing two oars, in that hour, master, it is + necessary. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + But you will not come. It will never come to that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + No, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A wise man can stop things before they get as far as that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + They that were kings in Babylon were wise men, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Babylon! But that was thousands of years ago. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Man changes not, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it ever comes to that... + </p> + <p> + [Enter MIRALDA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I thought Daoud was gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Even now I go, gracious lady. + </p> + <p> + [Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence with JOHN and MIRALDA till he goes. + She goes and retakes herself comfortable on the cushions. He is not + entirely at ease.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You had a long talk with Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, he came and talked a good deal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What about? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, just talk; you know these Eastern people. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I thought it was something you were discussing with him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, no. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Some important secret. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, not at all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You often talk with Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks sense I listen, but to-day... + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What did he come for to-day? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, nothing. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + You have a secret with Daoud that you will not share with me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I have not. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What was it he said? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + He said there was a king in Babylon who... + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD slips into the room.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + In Babylon? What has that to do with us? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Nothing. I told you he was not talking sense. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Well, what did he say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + He said that in Babylon... + </p> + <p> + <br /> DAOUD + </p> + <p> + Hist! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well... + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA glares, but calms herself and says nothing. + </p> + <p> + Exit DAOUD.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + What did Daoud say of Babylon? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do with us. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + But I wish to hear it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I forget. + </p> + <p> + [For a moment there is silence.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + John, John. Will you do a little thing for me? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Say you will do it, John. I should love to have one of my little wishes + granted. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will not. + </p> + <p> + [He walks up and down in front of the two Nubians in silence. She plucks + petulantly at a pillow. She suddenly calms herself. A light comes into her + eyes. The Nubians go on fanning. JOHN goes on pacing.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + John, John, I have forgotten my foolish fancies. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I am glad of it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I do not really wish you to kill Daoud. + </p> + <p> + JOHN [same voice] + </p> + <p> + I'm glad you don't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I have only one fancy now, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what is it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Give a banquet, John. I want you to give a banquet. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A banquet? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Is there any harm in my fancy? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Then if I may not be a queen, and if you will not kill Daoud for me, give + a banquet, John. There is no harm in a banquet. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Very well. When do you want it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones to it, all the illustrious ones in + Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Very well. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + And bid Daoud come. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud? You asked me to kill him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I do not wish that any longer, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You have queer moods, Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + May I not change my moods, John? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. I don't understand them. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Hafiz? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + I don't know, John. It was just my fancy. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Your fancy, eh? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + That was all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Then I will ask him. Have you any other fancy? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Not now, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Then go, Miralda. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Go? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Because I command it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Because you command it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Very well. + </p> + <p> + [Exit L. + </p> + <p> + He walks to the door to see that she is really gone. He comes back to + centre and stands with back to audience, pulling a cord quietly from his + pocket and arranging it. + </p> + <p> + He moves half left and comes up behind BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the + cord over BAZZALOL's head, and tightens it round his neck.] + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL flops on his knees. + </p> + <p> + THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Speak! + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL is silent. + </p> + <p> + JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA goes on quietly fanning.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + I cannot. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If you would speak, raise your left hand. If you raise your left hand and + do not speak you shall die. + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby + left hand high. JOHN releases the cord. BAZZALOL blinks and moves his + mouth.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Gracious Shereef, one visited the great lady and gave us gold, saying, + "Speak not." + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + When? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Great master, one hour since. + </p> + <p> + JOHN [a little viciously] + </p> + <p> + Who? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Give me the gold. + </p> + <p> + [BAZZALOL gives it.] + </p> + <p> + [To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the gold. + </p> + <p> + <br /> THOOTHOOBABA + </p> + <p> + Master, none gave me gold. + </p> + <p> + [John touches his dagger, and looks like using it. + </p> + <p> + THOOTHOOBABA gives it.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Take back your gold. Be silent about this. You too. + </p> + <p> + [He throws gold to BAZZALOL.] + </p> + <p> + Gold does not make you silent, but there is a thing that does. What is + that thing? Speak. What thing makes you silent? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + O, great master, it is death. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Death, eh? And how will you die if you speak? You know how you will die? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Yes, heaven-sent. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Tell your comrade, then. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + We shall be eaten, great master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You know by what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> BAZZALOL + </p> + <p> + Small things, great master, small things. Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h. + </p> + <p> + [THOOTHOOBABA's knees scarcely hold him.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It is well. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 2 + </p> + <p> + A small street. Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + Time: Next day. + </p> + <p> + [Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS. + </p> + <p> + He goes to an old green door, pointed of course in the Arabic way.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + </p> + <p> + Ho, Bishareens! + </p> + <p> + [The BISHAREENS run on.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + It is the place and the hour. + </p> + <p> + <br /> BISHAREENS + </p> + <p> + Ah, ah! + </p> + <p> + SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN] + </p> + <p> + Watch. + </p> + <p> + [FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and watches up sunny street.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> FIRST BISHAREEN + </p> + <p> + He comes. + </p> + <p> + [Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.] + </p> + <p> + SHEIK [turning] + </p> + <p> + Hear, O Bishareens. + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ places flute to his lips.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A BISHAREEN + </p> + <p> + And the gold, master? + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + Silence! It is the signal. + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on his flute.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + So. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + Master, once more. + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + Hear, O Bishareens! + </p> + <p> + [He plays the brief tune again.] + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ [to SHEIK] + </p> + <p> + Like that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + We have heard, O master. + </p> + <p> + [He walks away L. Hands move in the direction of knife-hilts.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> THE BISHAREENS + </p> + <p> + Ah, ah! + </p> + <p> + [Exit HAFIZ. + </p> + <p> + He plays a merry little tune on his flute as he walks away.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 3 + </p> + <p> + The banqueting hall. A table along the back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with + notables of Al Shaldomir. + </p> + <p> + JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ + EL ALCOLAHN. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [to JOHN] + </p> + <p> + You bade Daoud be present? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He is not here. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Daoud not here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + We all obey you, but not Daoud. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I do not understand it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + The Shereef has frowned. + </p> + <p> + [Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He halts at once and salutes with his sword, + then takes a side pace to his left, standing against the wall, sword at + the carry. + </p> + <p> + JOHN acknowledges salute by touching his forehead with the inner tips of + his fingers.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> OFFICER-AT-ARMS + </p> + <p> + Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the dance-step; march. + </p> + <p> + [Enter R. some men in single file; uniform, pale green silks; swords at + carry. They advance in single file, in a slightly serpentine way, + deviating to their left a little out of the straight and returning to it, + stepping neatly on the tips of their toes. Their march is fantastic and + odd without being exactly funny. + </p> + <p> + The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their left flank and marches about level + with the third or fourth man. When he reaches the centre he gives another + word of command.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> OFFICER-AT-ARMS + </p> + <p> + With reverence: Salute. + </p> + <p> + [The actor who takes this part should have been an officer or N. C. O. + </p> + <p> + JOHN stands up and acknowledges their salute by touching his forehead with + the fingers of the right hand, palm turned inwards. + </p> + <p> + Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + He does not smile this evening. + </p> + <p> + <br /> A WOMAN + </p> + <p> + The Shereef? + </p> + <p> + <br /> NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + He has not smiled. + </p> + <p> + [Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with brass bowl. He bows. He walks to + centre opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ZABNOOL + </p> + <p> + Behold. The bowl is empty. + </p> + <p> + [ZABNOOL produces a snake.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> ZABNOOL + </p> + <p> + Ah, little servant of Death. + </p> + <p> + [He produces flowers.] + </p> + <p> + Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from Nowhere. + </p> + <p> + [He produces birds.] + </p> + <p> + Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere. Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the + little empty songs of the land of Nowhere. + </p> + <p> + [He seats himself on the ground facing JOHN. He puts the bowl on the + ground. He places a piece of silk, with queer designs on it over the bowl. + He partly draws the silk away with his left hand and puts in his right. He + brings out a young crocodile and holds it by the neck.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> CONJURER + </p> + <p> + Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a crocodile. + </p> + <p> + [He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps up the crocodile in some drapery and + walks away. As he goes he addresses his crocodile.] + </p> + <p> + O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers, you sought to evade me in an + empty bowl. O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the Shereef. The + Shereef has seen you, O vexer of swimmers, O pig in armour, O... + </p> + <p> + [Exit. + </p> + <p> + SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes on.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + Bad man, master; he very, very bad man. + </p> + <p> + [He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly, impetus of which carries ZABNOOL to the + wings.] + </p> + <p> + Very, very bad man, master. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [reprovingly] + </p> + <p> + Zabnool has amused us. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get crocodile from devil. From devil + Poolyana, lily lady. Very, very bad. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He may call on devils if he amuse us, Shabeesh. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my devil, lily lady. Very, very, very + bad. My devil Poolyana. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse us. + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHABEESH + </p> + <p> + Shall one devil serve two masters? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why not? + </p> + <p> + SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's hands] + </p> + <p> + Very bad man go away. Go away, bad man: go away, bad man. Poolyana not + want bad man: Poolyana only work for good man. He mighty fine devil. + Poolyana, Poolyana. Big, black, fine, furry devil. Poolyana, Poolyana, + Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big angry tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, + Poolyana. Send me up fine young pig for the Shereef. Poolyana, Poolyana. + Lil yellow pig with curly tail. [Small pig appears.] O Poolyana, great + Poolyana. Fine black fur and grey fur underneath. Fine ferocious devil you + my devil, Poolyana. O, Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Send me a big beast + what chew bad man's crocodile. Big beast with big teeth, eat him like a + worm. + </p> + <p> + [He has spread large silk handkerchief on floor and is edging back from it + in alarm.] + </p> + <p> + Long nails in him toes, big like lion, Poolyana. Send great smelly big + beast—eat up bad man's crocodile. + </p> + <p> + [At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH leaps in alarm.] + </p> + <p> + He come, he come. I see his teeth and horns. + </p> + <p> + [Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor under handkerchief.] + </p> + <p> + O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle joke. You laugh at poor + conjuring man. You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile. Bad Poolyana. + Bad Poolyana. + </p> + <p> + [Whacks ground with stick.] + </p> + <p> + You plenty bad devil, Poolyana. + </p> + <p> + [Whacking it again. Handkerchief has been thrown on ground again. + Handkerchief stirs slightly.] + </p> + <p> + No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil. You not bad devil. You plenty good + devil, Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man quite happy on muddy + earth. No, Poolyana, no! O, no, no, devil. O, no, no! Hell plenty nice + place for devil. Master! He not my devil! He other man's devil! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What's this noise? What's it about? What's the matter? + </p> + <p> + SHABEESH [in utmost terror] + </p> + <p> + He coming, master! Coming! + </p> + <p> + <br /> ZABNOOL + </p> + <p> + Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in + nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want no devil to-day. + </p> + <p> + [ZABNOOL before speaking returns to centre and pats air over ground where + handkerchief lies. + </p> + <p> + Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOL come together side by side and bow and smile + together toward the SHEREEF. Gold is thrown to them, which ZABNOOL gathers + and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a share back to ZABNOOL.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + The Shereef is silent. + </p> + <p> + [Enter three women R. in single file, dancing, and carrying baskets full + of pink rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing down rose-leaves, leaving + a path of them behind them. Exeunt L.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + Still he is silent. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why do you not speak? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I do not wish to speak. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + [Enter OMAR with his zither.] + </p> + <p> + OMAR [singing] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + Birds sing thy praises night and day; + The nightingale in every wood, + Blackbirds in fields profound with may; + Birds sing of thee by every way. + </pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + My heart is ringing with thee still + Though far away, O fairy fields, + My soul flies low by every hill + And misses not one daffodil. + </pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + O mother of my roving dreams + Blue is the night above thy spires + And blue by myriads of streams + Paradise through thy gateway gleams. + </pre> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + Why do you not wish to speak? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You desire me to speak? + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + No. They all wonder why you do not speak; that is all. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I will speak. They shall hear me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + O, there is no need to. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + There is a need. [He rises.] People of Shaldomir, behold I know your + plottings. I know the murmurings that you murmur against me. When I sleep + in my inner chamber my ear is in the market, while I sit at meat I hear + men whisper far hence and know their innermost thoughts. Hope not to + overcome me by your plans nor by any manner of craftiness. My gods are + gods of brass; none have escaped them. They cannot be overthrown. Of all + men they favour my people. Their hands reach out to the uttermost ends of + the earth. Take heed, for my gods are terrible. I am the Shereef; if any + dare withstand me I will call on my gods and they shall crush him utterly. + They shall grind him into the earth and trample him under, as though he + had not been. The uttermost parts have feared the gods of the English. + They reach out, they destroy, there is no escape from them. Be warned; for + I do not permit any to stand against me. The laws that I have given you, + you shall keep; there shall be no other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my + wrath and the wrath of my gods. Take heed, I speak not twice. I spoke once + to Hussein. Hussein heard not; and Hussein is dead, his ears are closed + for ever. Hear, O people. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + O Shereef, we murmur not against you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I know thoughts and hear whispers. I need not instruction, Hafiz. + </p> + <p> + HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + You exalt yourself over us as none did aforetime. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been Shereef hitherto, but now I will + be king. Al Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled too long over a + little country. I will be the equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim + it. The pass is mine; the mountains shall be mine also. And he that rules + the mountains has mastery over all the plains beyond. If the men of the + plains will not own it let them make ready; for my wrath will fall on them + in the hour when they think me afar, on a night when they think I dream. I + proclaim myself king over... + </p> + <p> + [HAFIZ pulls out his flute and plays the weird, strange tune. JOHN looks + at him in horrified anger.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + The penalty is death! Death is the punishment for what you do, Hafiz. You + have dared while I spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is death. Go to Hussein. I, + the king... say it. + </p> + <p> + [DAOUD has entered R., bearing two oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking + at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near back. + </p> + <p> + JOHN gives one look at the banqueters, then he follows DAOUD. Exit. + </p> + <p> + All look astonished. Some rise and peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.] + </p> + <p> + OMAR [singing] + </p> + <p> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, The nightingales that guard thy ways Cease not + to give thee, after God And after Paradise, all praise. + </p> + <p> + CRIES [off] + </p> + <p> + Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the Christian. + </p> + <p> + [Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS, followed by all his men.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> SHEIK + </p> + <p> + We are the Bishareens, master. + </p> + <p> + [MIRALDA standing up, right arm akimbo, left arm pointing perfectly + straight out towards the small door, hand extended.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + He is there. + </p> + <p> + [The BISHAREENS run off through the little door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A NOTABLE + </p> + <p> + Not to interfere with old ways is wisest. + </p> + <p> + <br /> ANOTHER + </p> + <p> + Indeed, it would have been well for him. + </p> + <p> + [The BISHAREENS begin to return looking all about them like disappointed + hounds.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> A BISHAREEN + </p> + <p> + He is not there, master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Not there? Not there? Why, there is no door beyond. He must needs be + there, and his chief spy with him. + </p> + <p> + SHEIK [off] + </p> + <p> + He is not here. + </p> + <p> + MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall] + </p> + <p> + O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MIRALDA + </p> + <p> + When I am weary of a man he must die. + </p> + <p> + [He embraces her knees.] + </p> + <p> + ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd that followed the + BISHAREENS. She is blind.] + </p> + <p> + Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of Hafiz. Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead + her near.] Hafiz! Hafiz! + </p> + <p> + [She finds his shoulder and tries to drag him away.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> HAFIZ + </p> + <p> + Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of the innermost deeps of the sea. + </p> + <p> + [He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT IV + </h2> + <h3> + SCENE 1 + </h3> + <p> + Three years elapse. + </p> + <p> + Scene: The street outside the Acacias. + </p> + <p> + Time: Evening. + </p> + <p> + [Ali leans on a pillar-box watching. John shuffles on L. He is miserably + dressed, an Englishman down on his luck. A nightingale sings far off.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A nightingale here. Well, I never. + </p> + <p> + Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, The nightingales that guard thy ways Cease not + to give thee, after God And after Paradise, all praise... + </p> + <p> + The infernal place! I wish I had never seen it! Wonder what set me + thinking of that? + </p> + <p> + [The nightingale sings another bar. JOHN turns to his left and walks down + the little path that leads to the door of the Acacias.] + </p> + <p> + I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a fine house like this. Mustn't. + Mustn't. + </p> + <p> + [He draws near it reluctantly. He puts his hand to the bell and withdraws + it. Then he rings and snatches his hand away. He prepares to run away. + Finally he rings it repeatedly, feverishly, violently. + </p> + <p> + Enter LIZA, opening the door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Ullo, 'Oo's this! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I oughtn't to have rung your bell; + but I've seen better days, and wondered if—I wondered... + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's wot I oughtn't. Now I look at + you, I oughtn't to 'ave opened it. Wot does you want? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must come here. I must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Must? Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Wot do you want? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Who lives here? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater, and Johnstone. What do you + want? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Could I see Mr. Cater? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + He's out. Dining at the Mansion House. + </p> + <p> + JOHN + </p> + <p> + Oh. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + He is. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Could I see Mrs. Cater? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you couldn't. + </p> + <p> + [She prepares to shut the door.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut me out. If you knew what I'd + suffered, if you knew what I'd suffered. Don't! + </p> + <p> + LIZA [coming forward again] + </p> + <p> + Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to eat? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I've had nothing all day. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Aven't you really now? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No. And I get little enough at any time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA [kindly] + </p> + <p> + You ought to work. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I... I can't. I can't bring myself... I've seen better times. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Still, you could work. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I can't grub for halfpennies when I've —when I've... + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + When you've what? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Lost millions. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Millions? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I've lost everything. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Ow did you lose it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Through being blind. But never mind, never mind. It's all gone now, and + I'm hungry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + It's three years now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Couldn't get a regular job, like? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose it's my fault, miss. But the heart + was out of me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Dear me, now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miss. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + You've a kind face... + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'Ave I? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes. Would you do me a kind turn? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down on yer luck—I don't like to + see a man like you are, I must say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Would you let me come into the big house and speak to the missus a moment? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + She'd row me awful if I did. This house is very respectable. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck might change. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + But I don't know what she'd say if I did. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Miss, I must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I don't know wot she'd say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I must come in, miss, I must. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I don't know what she'll say. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I must. I can't help myself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + I don't know what she'll... + </p> + <p> + [JOHN is in, door shuts.] + </p> + <p> + [ALI throws his head up and laughs, but quite silently.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <p> + <br /> SCENE 2 + </p> + <p> + The drawing-room at the Acacias. + </p> + <p> + A moment later. + </p> + <p> + The scene is the same as in Act I, except that the sofa which was red is + now green, and the photograph of Aunt Martha is replaced by that of a + frowning old colonel. The ages of the four children in the photographs are + the same, but their sexes have changed. + </p> + <p> + [MARY reading. Enter LIZA.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + There's a gentleman to see you, mum, which is, properly speaking, not a + gentleman at all, but 'e would come in, mum. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza, whatever do you mean? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + 'E would come in, mum. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + But what does he want? + </p> + <p> + LIZA [over shoulder] + </p> + <p> + What does you want? + </p> + <p> + JOHN [entering] + </p> + <p> + I am a beggar. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, really? You've no right to be coming into houses like this, you know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I know that, madam, I know that. Yet somehow I couldn't help myself. I've + been begging for nearly three years now, and I've never done this before, + yet somehow to-night I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg your + pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Hunger? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm very hungry, madam. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet returned, or perhaps he might... + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + If you could give me a little to eat yourself, madam, a bit of stale + bread, a crust, something that Mr. Cater would not want. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + It's very unusual, coming into a house like this and at such an hour—it's + past eleven o'clock—and Mr. Cater not yet returned. Are you really + hungry? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm very, very hungry. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I might get you a little something. + </p> + <p> + [She picks up an empty plate from the supper table.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Madam, I do not know how to thank you. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + O, don't mention it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I have not met such kindness for three years. I... I'm starving. I've + known better times. + </p> + <p> + MARY [kindly] + </p> + <p> + I'll get you something. You've known better times, you say? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I had been intended for work in the City. And then, then I travelled, and—and + I got very much taken with foreign countries, and I thought—but it + all went to pieces. I lost everything. Here I am, starving. + </p> + <p> + MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who had lost her gloves] + </p> + <p> + O, I'm so sorry. + </p> + <p> + [JOHN sighs deeply.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I'll get a nice bit of something to eat. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A thousand thanks to you, madam. + </p> + <p> + [Exit MARY with the plate.] + </p> + <p> + LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the time] + </p> + <p> + Well, she's going to get you something. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Heaven reward her. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Hungry as all that? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm on my beam ends. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Cheer up! + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + That's all very well to say, living in a fine house, as you are, dry and + warm and well-fed. But what have I to cheer up about? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Isn't there anything you could pop? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop? I've tided over times I wanted a + bit of cash that way sometimes. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + What could I pawn? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Well, well you've a watch-chain. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + A bit of old leather. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + But what about the watch? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I've no watch. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + O, funny having a watch-chain then. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + O, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Funny bit of a thing. What's it for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Was it give to you? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I don't know. I don't know how I got it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Don't know how you got it? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + No, I can't remember at all. But I've a feeling about it, I can't explain + what I feel; but I don't part with it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Don't you? You might get something on it, likely and have a square meal. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I won't part with it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Why? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I feel I won't. I never have. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Feel you won't? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, I have that feeling very strongly. I've kept it always. Everything + else is gone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Had it long? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had it one morning in a train. It's + odd that I can't remember. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + But wot d'yer keep it for? + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Just for luck. + </p> + <p> + [LIZA breaks into laughter.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Well, you are funny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is funny. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + You're as down in your luck as ever you can be, and you go keeping a thing + like that for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, what would you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and I had rotten luck. Rotten + luck I had. Rotten. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + And what did you do? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Took it back to the shop. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Yes? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + They was quite obliging about it. Gave me a wooden one instead, what was + guaranteed. Luck changed very soon altogether. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Could luck like mine change? + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Course it could. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Look at me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + You'll be all right one of these days. Give me that mascot. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I hardly like to. One has an awfully strong feeling with it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Give it to me. It's no good. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I don't like to. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing you no good. I know all + about them mascots. Give it me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Well, I'll give it you. You're the first woman that's been kind to me + since ... I'm on my beam ends. + </p> + <p> + [Face in hands—tears.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am. These mascots! One's better + without 'em. Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a nice supper + coming. + </p> + <p> + [She puts it in a corner of the mantelpiece and hammers it. It smashes. + </p> + <p> + The photographs of the four children change slightly. The Colonel gives + place to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red. JOHN's clothes become neat + and tidy. The hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather duster. Nothing + else changes.] + </p> + <p> + A VOICE [off, in agony] + </p> + <p> + Allah! Allah! Allah! + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Some foreign gentleman must have hurt himself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + H'm. Sounds like it... Liza. + </p> + <p> + [LIZA, dusting the photographs on the wall, just behind the corner of the + mantelpiece.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Funny. Thought I—thought I 'ad a hammer in my hand. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really, Liza, I often think you have. You really should be more careful. + Only—only yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's photograph. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Thought it was a hammer. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a mistake you make too often, Liza. + You—you must be more careful. + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad an 'ammer in my 'and, though. + </p> + <p> + [She goes to tidy the little supper table. Enter MARY with food on a + plate.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + I've brought you your supper, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Thanks, Mary. I—I think I must have taken a nap. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along to bed now, Liza. Good gracious, + it's half-past eleven. + </p> + <p> + [MARY makes final arrangements of supper table.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> LIZA + </p> + <p> + Thank you, mum. + </p> + <p> + [Exit ] + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + Mary. + </p> + <p> + <br /> MARY + </p> + <p> + Yes, John. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOHN + </p> + <p> + I—I thought I'd caught that train. + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of If, by +Lord Dunsany [Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IF *** + +***** This file should be named 1311-h.htm or 1311-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/1/1311/ + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: If + +Author: Lord Dunsany [Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + +Posting Date: August 21, 2008 [EBook #1311] +Release Date: May, 1998 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IF *** + + + + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer + + + + + +If + +By Lord Dunsany + +[Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + + JOHN BEAL + MARY BEAL + LIZA + ALI + BERT, BILL: two railway porters + THE MAN IN THE CORNER + MIRALDA CLEMENT + HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN + DAOUD + ARCHIE BEAL + BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers + BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass + ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers + OMAR, a singer + ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz + THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + + Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc. + + + + +IF + + + + +ACT I + +SCENE 1 + +A small railway station near London. +Time: Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why? What's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + + +BERT + +Why, wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was dangerous. +Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why. The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. +They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and +I'll... + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule. And they'll 'ave to abide by it. + +BERT + +Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if... + +BILL + +I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me +on the mat again and talk all that stuff to +me. No, if someone 'as to suffer... +'Ere she is. + +[Noise of approaching train heard.] + +BERT + +Ay, that's her. + +BILL + +And shut goes the door. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BERT + +Wait a moment, Bill. + +BILL + +Not if he's... Not if he was ever so. + +JOHN [preparing to pass] + +Good morning.... + +BILL + +Can't come through. Too late. + +JOHN + +Too late? Why, the train's only just in. + +BILL + +Don't care. It's the rule. + +JOHN + +O, nonsense. [He carries on.] + +BILL + +It's too late. I tell you you can't come. + +JOHN + +But that's absurd. I want to catch my +train. + +BILL + +It's too late. + +BERT + +Let him go, Bill. + +BILL + +I'm blowed if I let him go. + +JOHN + +I want to catch my train. + +[JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed +back by the face. JOHN advances towards +BILL looking like fighting. The train has +gone.] + +BILL + +Only doing my duty. + +[JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding +it isn't good enough. He shrugs his +shoulders, turns round and goes away.] + +JOHN + +I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even +with you one of these days, you..... and +some way you won't expect. + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +Yesterday evening. + +[Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in +their suburban home.] + +JOHN + +I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to +plant an acacia? + +MARY + +An acacia, what's that, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's one of those trees that they have. + +MARY + +But why, John? + +JOHN + +Well, you see the house is called The Acacias, +and it seems rather silly not to have at +least one. + +MARY + +O, I don't think that matters. Lots of +places are called lots of things. Everyone +does. + +JOHN + +Yes, but it might help the postman. + +MARY + +O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't +know an acacia if he saw it any more than I +should. + +JOHN + +Quite right, Mary, you're always right. +What a clever head you've got! + +MARY + +Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if +you like. I'll ask about it at the grocer's. + +JOHN + +You can't get one there. + +MARY + +No, but he's sure to know where it can be +got. + +JOHN + +Where do they grow, Mary? + +MARY + +I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, +somewhere. + +JOHN + +Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish +I could have gone abroad for a week or so to +places like where acacias grow naturally. + +MARY + +O, would you really, John? + +JOHN + +No, not really. But I just think of it +sometimes. + +MARY + +Where would you have gone? + +JOHN + +O, I don't know. The East or some such +place. I've often heard people speak of it, +and somehow it seemed so... + +MARY + +The East, John? Not the East. I don't +think the East somehow is quite respectable. + +JOHN + +O well, it's all right, I never went, and +never shall go now. It doesn't matter. + +MARY [the photographs catching her eye] + +O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dreadful +thing happened. + +JOHN + +What, Mary? + +MARY + +Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, +and when she came to Jane's she says she +hadn't really begun to dust it, only looked at +it, and it fell down, and that bit of glass is +broken right out of it. + +JOHN + +Ask her not to look at it so hard another +time. + +MARY + +O, what do you mean, John? + +JOHN + +Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, +and as I know you believe in Liza... + +MARY + +Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. But she mustn't look +so hard another time. + +MARY + +And it's poor little Jane's photograph. +She will feel it so. + +JOHN + +O, that's all right, we'll get it mended. + +MARY + +Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. + +JOHN + +We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy +about it she can have Alice's frame. Alice +is too young to notice it. + +MARY + +She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. + +JOHN + +Well, George, then. + +MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] + +Well, perhaps George might give up his +frame. + +JOHN + +Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make +her do it now? + +MARY + +Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. +She shall do it to-morrow by the time you get +back from the office. + +JOHN + +All right. It might have been worse. + +MARY + +It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. + +JOHN + +It might have been worse. It might have +been Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'd sooner it had been her than poor little +Jane. + +JOHN + +If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph +she'd have walked in next day and seen it for +certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd +have been trouble. + +MARY + +But, John, how could she have known? + +JOHN + +I don't know, but she would have; it's a +kind of devilish sense she has. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +What's the matter? + +MARY + +John! What a dreadful word you used. +And on a Sunday too! Really! + +JOHN + +O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. +I'm very sorry. + +[Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which +isn't, properly speaking, a gentleman at all. +Not what I should call one, that is, like. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! +Whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +He's black. + +MARY + +Black? + +JOHN [reassuring] + +O... yes, that would be Ali. A queer +old customer, Mary; perfectly harmless. Our +firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; +and then one day... + +MARY + +But what is he doing here, John? + +JOHN + +Well, one day he turned up in London; +broke, he said; and wanted the firm to give +him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for +giving him ten shillings. But I said "here's +a man that's helped us in making thousands +of pounds. Let's give him fifty." + +MARY + +Fifty pounds! + +JOHN + +Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. +Ten shillings would have been an insult to +the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. +You don't know what he'd have done. + +MARY + +Well, he doesn't want more? + +JOHN + +No, I expect he's come to thank me. He +seemed pretty keen on getting some cash. +Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was +doing in London. Never can tell with these +fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it. + +MARY + +How did he trace you here? + +JOHN + +O, got the address at the office. Briggs +and Cater won't let theirs be known. Not +got such a smart little house, I expect. + +MARY + +I don't like letting people in that you don't +know where they come from. + +JOHN + +O, he comes from the East. + +MARY + +Yes, I--I know. But the East doesn't seem +quite to count, somehow, as the proper sort of +place to come from, does it, dear? + +JOHN + +No. + +MARY + +It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some +place you can put your finger on. + +JOHN + +Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's +any harm in him. + +MARY + +Well, just for once. But we can't make a +practice of it. And you don't want to be +thinking of business on a Sunday, your only +day off. + +JOHN + +O, it isn't business, you know. He only +wants to say thank you. + +MARY + +I hope he won't say it in some queer +Eastern way. You don't know what these +people.... + +JOHN + +O, no. Show him up, Liza. + +LIZA + +As you like, mum. +[Exit.] + +MARY + +And you gave him fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose +that's what he got. Cater paid him. + +MARY + +It seems a lot of money. But I think, as +the man is actually coming up the stairs, +I'm glad he's got something to be grateful +for. + +[Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] + +ALI + +Protector of the Just. + +JOHN + +O, er--yes. Good evening. + +ALI + +My soul was parched and you bathed it +in rivers of gold. + +JOHN + +O, ah, yes. + +ALI + +Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal +shall be magnified and called blessed. + +JOHN + +Ha, yes. Very good of you. + +ALI [advancing, handing trinket] + +Protector of the Just, my offering. + +JOHN + +Your offering? + +ALI + +Hush. It is beyond price. I am not +bidden to sell it. I was in my extremity, but +I was not bidden to sell it. It is a token of +gratitude, a gift, as it came to me. + +JOHN + +As it came to you? + + +ALI + +Yes, it was given me. + +JOHN + +I see. Then you had given somebody what +you call rivers of gold? + +ALI + +Not gold; it was in Sahara. + +JOHN + +O, and what do you give in the Sahara +instead of gold? + +ALI + +Water. + +JOHN + +I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +And--and what happened? + +MARY + +I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. +It's a nice little thing, but [to ALI], but you +think a lot of it, don't you? + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +But look here, what does it do? + +ALI + +Much. + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +ALI + +He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, +at night, and wishes, saying "At a certain +hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will +go back eight, ten, even twelve years if he +will, into the past, and do a thing again, or +act otherwise than he did. The day passes; +the ten years are accomplished once again; he +is here once more; but he is what he might +have become had he done that one thing +otherwise. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +I--I don't understand. + +ALI + +To-night you wish. All to-morrow you +live the last ten years; a new way, master, a +new way, how you please. To-morrow night +you are here, what those years have made you. + +JOHN + +By Jove! + +MARY + +Have nothing to do with it, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, +do you mean one could go back ten years? + + +ALI + +Even so. + + +JOHN + +Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word +for it. But look here, you can't live ten years +in a day, you know. + +ALI + +My master has power over time. + +MARY + +John, don't have anything to do with him. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. But who is your master? + +ALI + +He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in +the greenest mountains. The years are his +dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard +it safely, for his power is in this more than +in all the peaks of his native hills. See what +I give you, master. + +JOHN + +Well, really, it's very good of you. + +MARY + +Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much +obliged for your kind offer, which we are so +sorry we can't avail ourselves of. + +JOHN + +One moment, Mary. Do you mean that +I can go back ten years, and live till--till now +again, and only be away a day? + +ALI + +Start early and you will be here before +midnight. + +JOHN + +Would eight o'clock do! + +ALI + +You could be back by eleven that evening. + +JOHN + +I don't quite see how ten years could go +in a single day. + +ALI + +They will go as dreams go. + +JOHN + +Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't +it? + +ALI + +Time is the slave of my master + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm +only trying to see what he'll say. + +MARY + +All right, John, only... + +ALI + +Is there no step that you would wish +untrodden, nor stride that you would make +where once you faltered? + +JOHN + +I say, why don't you use it yourself? + +ALI + +I? I am afraid of the past. But you +Engleesh, and the great firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Beal; you are afraid of nothing. + +JOHN + +Ha, ha. Well--I wouldn't go quite as far +as that, but--well, give me the crystal. + +MARY + +Don't take it, John! Don't take it. + +JOHN + +Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. + +MARY + +If it can do all that--if it can do all that... + +JOHN + +Well? + +MARY + +Why, you might never have met me. + +JOHN + +Never have met you? I never thought of +that. + +MARY + +Leave the past alone, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I +want to hear about it, it's so odd, it's so +what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I +ever----- [To ALI.] You mean if I work +hard for ten years, which will only be all +to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank +of England to-morrow night. + +ALI + +Even so. + +MARY + +O, don't do it, John. + +JOHN + +But you said--I'll be back here before +midnight to-morrow. + +ALI + +It is so. + +JOHN + +But the Governor of the Bank of England +would live in the City, and he'd have a much +bigger house anyway. He wouldn't live in +Lewisham. + +ALI + +The crystal will bring you to this house +when the hour is accomplished, even +tomorrow night. If you be the great banker +you will perhaps come to chastise one of your +slaves who will dwell in this house. If you +be head of Briggs and Cater you will come to +give an edict to one of your firm. Perchance +this street will be yours and you will come to +show your power unto it. But you will come. + +JOHN + +And if the house is not mine? + +MARY + +John! John! Don't. + +ALI + +Still you will come. + +JOHN + +Shall I remember? + +ALI + +No. + +JOHN + +If I want to do anything different to what +I did, how shall I remember when I get back +there? + +MARY + +Don't. Don't do anything different, John. + +JOHN + +All right. + +ALI + +Choose just before the hour of the step +you desire to change. Memory lingers a little +at first, and fades away slowly. + +JOHN + +Five minutes? + +ALI + +Even ten. + +JOHN + +Then I can change one thing. After that I +forget. + +ALI + +Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. + +JOHN + +Well, it's very good of you to make me this +nice present, I'm sure. + +ALI + +Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart +impels. So shall it come back one day to the +hills that are brighter than grass, made richer +by the gratitude of many men. And my +master shall smile thereat and the vale shall +be glad. + +JOHN + +It's very good of you, I'm sure. + +MARY + +I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering +with what's gone. + +ALI + +My master's power is in your hands. +Farewell. + +[Exit.] + +JOHN + +I say, he's gone. + +MARY + +O, he's a dreadful man. + +JOHN + +I never really meant to take it. + +MARY + +O, John, I wish you hadn't + +JOHN + +Why? I'm not going to use it. + +MARY + +Not going to use it, John? + +JOHN + +No, no. Not if you don't want me to. + +MARY + +O, I'm so glad. + +JOHN + +And besides, I don't want things different. +I've got fond of this little house. And Briggs +is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit +of an ass, but there's no harm in him. In +fact, I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even +change Aunt Martha now. + +[Points at frowning framed photograph +centrally hung.] + +You remember when she first came and +you said "Where shall we hang her?" I said +the cellar. You said we couldn't. So she had +to go there. But I wouldn't change her now. +I suppose there are old watch-dogs like her in +every family. I wouldn't change anything. + +MARY + +O, John, wouldn't you really? + +JOHN + +No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I +wouldn't even change Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. +I couldn't bear to tamper with the past. +You don't know what it is, it's what's gone. +But if it really isn't gone at all, if it can be dug +up like that, why you don't know what +mightn't happen! I don't mind the future, +but if the past can come back like that.... +O, don't, don't, John. Don't think of it. +It isn't canny. There's the children, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little +ornament. I won't use it. And I tell you +I'm content. [Happily] It's no use to me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you +really? Is there nothing that you'd have had +different? I sometimes thought you'd rather +that Jane had been a boy. + +JOHN + +Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the +time, but Arthur's good enough for me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever +regret at all? + +JOHN + +Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you +regret, Mary? + +MARY + +Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would +have been better green, but you would have +it red. + +JOHN + +Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I +regret. + +MARY + +I don't suppose there's many men can say +that. + +JOHN + +No, I don't suppose they can. They're +not all married to you. I don't suppose +many of them can. + +[MARY smiles.] + +MARY + +I should think that very few could say +that they regretted nothing... very few +in the whole world. + +JOHN + +Well, I won't say nothing. + +MARY + +What is it you regret, John? + +JOHN + +Well, there is one thing. + +MARY + +And what is that? + +JOHN + +One thing has rankled a bit. + +MARY + +Yes, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth +mentioning. But it rankled for years. + +MARY + +What was it, John? + +JOHN + +O, it seems silly to mention it. It was +nothing. + +MARY + +But what? + +JOHN + +O, well, if you want to know, it was once +when I missed a train. I don't mind missing +a train, but it was the way the porter pushed +me out of the way. He pushed me by the +face. I couldn't hit back, because, well, you +know what lawyers make of it; I might have +been ruined. So it just rankled. It was years +ago before we married. + +MARY + +Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! + +JOHN + +Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in +spite of him. I sometimes think of it still. +Silly of me, isn't it? + +MARY + +What a brute of a man. + +JOHN + +O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. +But it rankled. + +MARY + +He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd +no right to touch you! + +JOHN + +O, well, never mind. + +MARY + +I should like to have been there... +I'd have... + +JOHN + +O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd +like to have caught it in sp... +[An idea seizes him.] + +MARY + +What is it? + +JOHN + +Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing +that can be helped. + +MARY + +Can be helped, John? Whatever do you +mean? + +JOHN + +I mean he'd no right to stop me catching +that train. I've got the crystal, and I'll +catch it yet! + +MARY + +O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't +do. + +JOHN + +No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. +And I won't. I'm too content, Mary. But +this can't alter it. This is nothing. + +MARY + +What were you going to catch the train +for, John? + +JOHN + +For London. I wasn't at the office then. +It was a business appointment. There was a +man who had promised to get me a job, and +I was going up to... + +MARY + +John, it may alter your whole life! + +JOHN + +Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never +turned up. I got a letter from him apologising +to me before I posted mine to him. It +turned out he never meant to help me, mere +meaningless affabilities. He never came to +London that day at all. I should have taken +the next train back. That can't affect the +future. + +MARY + +N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. + +JOHN + +What difference could it make? + +MARY + +N-n-no. + +JOHN + +Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's +wedding. I take it one has to go to one's +brother's wedding. It would take a pretty +big change to alter that. And. you were her +bridesmaid. We were bound to meet. And +having once met, well, there you are. If we'd +met by chance, in a train, or anything like +that, well, then I admit some little change +might alter it. But when we met at ARCHIE's +wedding and you were her bridesmaid, why, +Mary, it's a cert. Besides, I believe in +predestination. It was our fate; we couldn't +have missed it. + +MARY + +No, I suppose not; still.. + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +MARY + +I don't like it. + +JOHN + +O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that +infernal train. Just think of it, annoyed on +and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen. + +MARY + +I'd rather you didn't, John. + +JOHN + +But why? + +MARY + +O, John, suppose there's a railway +accident? You might be killed, and we should +never meet. + +JOHN + +There wasn't. + +MARY + +There wasn't, John? What do you mean? + +JOHN + +There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen. +It got safely to London just ten years ago. + +MARY + +Why, nor there was. + +JOHN + +You see how groundless your fears are. +I shall catch that train, and all the rest will +happen the same as before. Just think +Mary, all those old days again. I wish I +could take you with me. But you soon will +be. But just think of the old days coming +back again. Hampton Court again and Kew, +and Richmond Park again with all the May. +And that bun you bought, and the corked +ginger-beer, and those birds singing and the +'bus past Isleworth. O, Mary, you wouldn't +grudge me that? + +MARY + +Well, well then all right, John. + +JOHN + +And you will remember there wasn't an +accident, won't you? + +MARY [resignedly, sadly] + +O, yes, John. And you won't try to get +rich or do anything silly, will you? + +JOHN + +No, Mary. I only want to catch that +train. I'm content with the rest. The same +things must happen, and they must lead me +the same way, to you, Mary. Good night, +now, dear. + +MARY + +Good night? + +JOHN + +I shall stay here on the sofa holding the +crystal and thinking. Then I'll have a +biscuit and start at seven. + +MARY + +Thinking, John? What about? + +JOHN + +Getting it clear in my mind what I want +to do. That one thing and the rest the same. +There must be no mistakes. + +MARY [sadly] + +Good night, John. + +JOHN + +Have supper ready at eleven. + +MARY + +Very well, John. +[Exit.] + +JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] + +I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. + +[He takes the crystal and closes it up in +the palm of his left hand.] + +I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and +a day, at, at--8.10 a.m. to-morrow; 8.10 a.m. +to-morrow, 8.10. + +[Re-enter MARY in doorway.] + +MARY + +John! John! You are sure he did get +his fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the +money? + +MARY + +You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? + +JOHN + +Cater paid him, I didn't. + +MARY + +Are you sure that Cater didn't give him +ten shillings? + +JOHN + +It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have +done! + +MARY + +O, John! + +JOHN + +Hmm. + + +Curtain + + + +SCENE 3 + +Scene: As in Act I, Scene 1. +Time. Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why, what's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up, then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + +BERT + +Why? Wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was dangerous. +Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT? + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why? The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the +company. They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and I'll... + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule, and they'll have to abide by it. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BILL [touching his hat] +Good morning, sir. + +[JOHN does not answer, but walks to the +door between them.] + +Carry your bag, sir? + +JOHN + +Go to hell! + +[Exit through door.] + +BILL + +Ullo. + +BERT + +Somebody's been getting at 'im. + +BILL + +Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young +feller. + +BERT + +Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule? + +BILL + +Never knew 'im like this. + +BERT + +You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave +yer? + +BILL + +Never in my life. + +BERT + +Well, I never. + +BILL + +'Ad some trouble o' some kind. + +BERT + +Must 'ave. + +[Train is heard.] + +BILL + +Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying... + +Curtain + +SCENE 4 + +In a second-class railway carriage. + +Time: Same morning as Scene 1, Act I. + +Noise, and a scene drawn past the +windows. The scene, showing a +momentary glimpse of fair English hills, is +almost entirely placards, "GIVE HER +BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," +alternately, for ever. + +Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man. + +All sit in stoical silence like the two +images near Luxor. The man has the +window seat, and therefore the right of +control over the window. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having the window open? + +THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his +shoulders in a shivery way] + +Er--certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. +He opens the window.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Thank you so much. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict +her. Stoical silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having it shut now? I +think it is rather cold. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Certainly. + +[He shuts it. Silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +I think I'd like the window open again now +for a bit. It is rather stuffy, isn't it? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Well, I think it's very cold. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +O, do you? But would you mind opening +it for me? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't +mind. + +[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and +her pretty face expresses the resignation of +the Christian martyr in the presence of +lions. This for the benefit of John.] + +JOHN + +Allow me, madam. + +[He leans across the window's rightful +owner, a bigger man than he, and opens his +window. + +MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders +and, quite sensibly, turns to his paper.] + +MIRALDA + +O, thank you so much. + +JOHN + +Don't mention it. + +[Silence again.] + +VOICES OF PORTERS [Off] + +Fan Kar, Fan Kar. + +[MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.] + +MIRALDA + +Could you tell me where this is? + +JOHN + +Yes. Elephant and Castle. + +MIRALDA + +Thank you so much. It was kind of you to +protect me from that horrid man. He wanted +to suffocate me. + +JOHN + +O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very +glad. + +MIRALDA + +I should have been afraid to have done it in +spite of him. It was splendid of you. + +JOHN + +O, that was nothing. + +MIRALDA + +O, it was, really. + +JOHN + +Only too glad to help you in any little way. + +MIRALDA + +It was so kind of you. + +JOHN + +O, not at all. + +[Silence for a bit.] + +MIRALDA + +I've nobody to help me. + +JOHN + +Er, er, haven't you really? + +MIRALDA + +No, nobody. + +JOHN + +I'd be very glad to help you in any little +way. + +MIRALDA + +I wonder if you could advise me. + +JOHN + +I--I'd do my best. + +MIRALDA + +You see, I have nobody to advise me. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. + +MIRALDA + +I live with my aunt, and she doesn't +understand. I've no father or mother. + +JOHN + +O, er, er, really? + +MIRALDA + +No. And an uncle died and he left me a +hundred thousand pounds. + +JOHN + +Really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it +out of contrariness as much as anything. +He was always like that to me. + +JOHN + +Was he? Was he really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per +cent. He never liked me. Thought I was +too--I don't know what. + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +That was five years ago, and I've never got +a penny of it. + +JOHN + +Really. But, but that's not right. + +MIRALDA [sadly] + +No. + +JOHN + +Where's it invested? + +MIRALDA + +In Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Where's that? + +MIRALDA + +I don't quite know. I never was good at +geography. I never quite knew where Persia +ends. + +JOHN + +And what kind of an investment was it? + +MIRALDA + +There's a pass in some mountains that they +can get camels over, and a huge toll is levied +on everything that goes by; that is the custom +of the tribe that lives there, and I believe +the toll is regularly collected. + +JOHN + +And who gets it? + +MIRALDA + +The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben +Hussein. But my uncle lent him all this +money, and the toll on the camels was what +they call the security. They always carry +gold and turquoise, you know. + +JOHN + +Do they? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, they get it from the rivers. + +JOHN + +I see. + +MIRALDA + +It does seem a shame his not paying, +doesn't it? + +JOHN + +A shame? I should think it is. An awful +shame. Why, it's a crying shame. He ought +to go to prison. + +MIRALDA + +Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard +to find him. It isn't as if it was this side of +Persia. It's being on the other side that is +such a pity. If only it was in a country like, +like... + +JOHN + +I'd soon find him. I'd... Why, a man +like that deserves anything. + +MIRALDA + +It is good of you to say that. + +JOHN + +Why, I'd... And you say you never +got a penny? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Well, that is a shame. I call that a +downright shame. + +MIRALDA + +Now, what ought I to do? + +JOHN + +Do? Well, now, you know in business +there's nothing like being on the spot. When +you're on the spot you can--but then, of +course, it's so far. + +MIRALDA + +It is, isn't it? + +JOHN + +Still, I think you should go if you could. +If only I could offer to help you in any way, +I would gladly, but of course... + +MIRALDA + +What would you do? + +JOHN + +I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and +then... + +MIRALDA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and +make him see that you didn't keep all that +money that belonged to someone else. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? + +JOHN + +Nothing would please me better. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? Would you go all that +way? + +JOHN + +It's just the sort of thing that I should like, +apart from the crying shame. The man +ought to be... + +MIRALDA + +We're getting into Holborn. Would you +come and lunch somewhere with me and talk +it over? + +JOHN + +Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to +see a man on business first. I've come up to +see him. And then after that, after that +there was something I wanted to do after that. +I can't think what it was. But something I +wanted to do after that. O, heavens, what +was it? + +[Pause.] + +MIRALDA + +Can't you think? + +JOHN + +No. O, well, it can't have been so very +important. And yet... Well, where shall +we lunch? + +MIRALDA + +Gratzenheim's. + +JOHN + +Right. What time? + +MIRALDA + +One-thirty. Would that suit? + +JOHN + +Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like +Hussein in prison. I'd like... O, I beg your +pardon. + +[He hurries to open the door. Exit +MIRALDA.] + +Now what was it I wanted to do +afterwards? + +[Throws hand to forehead.] +O, never mind. + +Curtain + + + + +ACT II + +SCENE + +JOHN's tent in Al Shaldomir. There +are two heaps of idols, left and right, lying +upon the ground inside the tent. DAOUD +carries another idol in his arms. JOHN +looks at its face. + +Six months have elapsed since the scene +in the second-class railway carriage. + +JOHN BEAL + +This god is holy. + +[He points to the left heap. DAOUD +carries it there and lays it on the heap.] + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You are in no wise to call me great master. +Have not I said so? I am not your master. +I am helping you people. I know better than +you what you ought to do, because I am +English. But that's all. I'm not your master, +See? + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, go and get some more idols. Hurry. + +DAOUD + +Great master, I go. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't make these people out. + +DAOUD [returning] + +I have three gods. + +JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to +the two smaller idols first] +These two are holy. This one is unholy. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Put them on the heap. + +[DAOUD does so, two left, one right.] + +Get some more. + +[DAOUD salaams. Exit.] + +[Looking at right heap.] What a--what a +filthy people + +[Enter DAOUD with two idols.] + +JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny] + +This god is holy, this is unholy. + +[Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bowler" +hat.] + +Why, ARCHIE, this is splendid of you! +You've come! Why, that's splendid! All +that way! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's grand of you to come! I never +ought to have asked it of you, only... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But what in the world +are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's splendid of you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all +this? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, this. Well, well they're the very oddest +people here. It's a long story. But I wanted +to tell you first how enormously grateful I +am to you for coming. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But I want to know +what you're doing with all these genuine +antiques. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, ARCHIE, the fact of it is they're a real +odd lot of people here. I've learnt their +language, more or less, but I don't think I quite +understand them yet. A lot of them are +Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed, +you know. He's dead. But a lot of them +worship these things, and... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what have you got 'em all in here +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with +them, but, well, I simply had to. You see +there's two sorts of idols here; they offer +fruit and rats to some of them; they lay them +on their hands or their laps. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why do they offer them rats? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. They don't know either. +It's the right thing to do out here, it's been +the right thing for hundreds of years; nobody +exactly knows why. It's like the bows we +have on evening shoes, or anything else. +But it's all right. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are you putting them in heaps +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because there's the other kind, the ones +with wide mouths and rust round them. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they +do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They offer blood to them, ARCHIE. They +pour it down their throats. Sometimes they +kill people, sometimes they only bleed them. +It depends how much blood the idol wants. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +How much blood it wants? Good Lord! +How do they know? + +JOHN BEAL + +The priests tell them. Sometimes they +fill them up to their necks--they're all hollow, +you know. In spring it's awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why are they worse in spring? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know. The priests ask for more +blood then. Much more. They say it always +was so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're stopping it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm +letting them worship those. Of course, it's +idolatry and all that kind of thing, but I +don't like interfering short of actual murder. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And they're obeying you? + +JOHN BEAL + +'M, y-yes. I think so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You must have got a great hold over them. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know about that. It's the +pass that counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +The pass? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that place you came over. It's the +only way anyone can get here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass +affect these idols? + +JOHN BEAL + +It affects everything here. If that pass +were closed no living man would ever enter +or leave, or even hear of, this country. It's +absolutely cut off except for that one pass. +Why, ARCHIE, it isn't even on the map. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I know. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody. +No one else counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And who does own it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called +Hussein, but Miss Clement's uncle, a man +called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer, +seems to have come this way; and I think he +understood what this pass is worth. +Anyhow, he lent Hussein a big sum of money and +got an acknowledgment from Hussein. Old +Hinnard must have been a wonderfully +shrewd man. For that acknowledgment is +no more legal than an I.O.U., and Hussein +is simply a brigand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Not very good security. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself +respects that piece of parchment he signed. +There's the name of some god or other written +on it Hussein is frightened of. Now you +see how things are. That pass is as holy as +all the gods that there are in Al Shaldomir. +Hussein possesses it. But he owes an +enormous sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am +here as her agent; and you've come to help +me like a great sportsman. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, never mind that. Well, it all seems +pretty simple. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, ARCHIE. Hussein +admits the debt, but... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what he'll do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Wants watching, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of +responsible for all these silly people. +Somebody's got to look after them. Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Bring in some more gods. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't get them to stop calling me absurd +titles. They're so infernally Oriental. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's got two big ones this time. + +JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE] + +You see, there is rust about their mouths. +[To DAOUD]: They are both unholy. + +[He points to R. heap, and DAOUD +puts them there. To DAOUD.] + +Bring in some more. + +DAOUD + +Great master, there are no more gods in +Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN BEAL + +It is well. + +DAOUD + +What orders, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Listen. At night you shall come and take +these gods away. These shall be worshipped +again in their own place, these you shall cast +into the great river and tell no man where you +cast them. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will do this, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am sorry to make you do it. You are +sad that you have to do it. Yet it must be +done. + +DAOUD + +Yes, I am sad, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why are you sad, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Great master, in times you do not know +these gods were holy. In times you have not +guessed. In old centuries, master, perhaps +before the pass. Men have prayed to them, +sorrowed before them, given offerings to +them. The light of old hearths has shone on +them, flames from old battles. The shadow +of the mountains has fallen on them, so +many times, master, so many times. Dawn +and sunset have shone on them, master, like +firelight flickering; dawn and sunset, dawn +and sunset, flicker, flicker, flicker for century +after century. They have sat there watching +the dawns like old men by the fire. They are +so old, master, so old. And some day dawn +and sunset will die away and shine on the +world no more, and they would have still +sat on in the cold. And now they go... +They are our history, master, they are our old +times. Though they be bad times they are +our times, master; and now they go. I am +sad, master, when the old gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they are bad gods, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +I am sad when the bad gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +They must go, Daoud. See, there is no +one watching. Take them now. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +[He takes up the largest of the gods with +rust.] + +Come, Aho-oomlah, thou shalt not drink +Nideesh. + +JOHN BEAL + +Was Nideesh to have been sacrificed? + +DAOUD + +He was to have been drunk by Aho-oomlah. + +JOHN BEAL + +Nideesh. Who is he? + +DAOUD + +He is my son. + +[Exit with Aho-oomlah. +JOHN BEAL almost gasps.] + +ARCHIE BEAL [who has been looking round +the tent] + +What has he been saying? + +JOHN BEAL + +They're--they're a strange people. I +can't make them out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Is that the heap that oughtn't to be +worshipped? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, do you know, I'm going to chuck this +hat there. It doesn't seem to me somehow to +be any more right here than those idols would +be at home. Odd isn't it? Here goes. + +[He throws hat on right heap of idols. JOHN +BEAL does not smile.] + +Why, what's the matter? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't like to see a decent Christian hat +among these filthy idols. They've all got +rust on their mouths. I don't like to see +it, Archie; it's sort of like what they call +an omen. I don't like it. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Do they keep malaria here? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't think so. Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Then what's the matter, Johnny? Your nerves +are bad. + +JOHN BEAL + +You don't know these people, and I've brought +you out here. I feel kind of responsible. +If Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't +know what he'd do, with all those idols and +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He'll give 'em a drink, you mean. + +JOHN BEAL + +Don't, ARCHIE. There's no saying. And I +feel responsible for you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, they can have my hat. It looks +silly, somehow. I don't know why. What +are we going to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, now that you've come we can go +ahead. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Righto. What at? + +JOHN BEAL + +We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and +get everything clear in black and white, and +see just what he owes to Miss Miralda +Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But they don't keep accounts here. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you know? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, of course they don't. One can see +that. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they must. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, you haven't changed a bit for your +six months here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Haven't changed? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. Just quietly thinking of business. +You'll be a great business man, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we must do business; that's what I +came here for. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You'll never make these people do it. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, what do you suggest? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Let's have a look at old Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's what I have been waiting for. +Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Master. [Enters.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass +and beat on the outer door. Say that I +desire to see him. Pray him to come to my +tent. + +[DAOUD bows and Exit.] + +[To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace +to ask Hussein to come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lives in a palace, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place. +It's bigger than the Mansion House, much. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're going to teach him to keep +accounts. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems +almost like being rude to the Lord Mayor. +But there's two things I can't stand--cheating +in business is one and murder's another. +I've got to interfere. You see, if one happens +to know the right from wrong as we do, we've +simply got to tell people who don't. But +it isn't pleasant. I almost wish I'd never +come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, it's the greatest sport in the world. +It's splendid. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see it that way. To me those idols +are just horrid murder. And this man owes +money to this girl with no one to look after +her, and he's got to pay. But I hate being +rude to a man in a place like the Mansion +House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord, +who am I? It seems such cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is +she pretty? + +JOHN BEAL + +What, Miss Miralda? Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what I mean is--what's she like? + +JOHN BEAL + +Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say. +She's, she's tall and she's fair and she's got +blue eyes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is +she? How does she strike you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets +this money, and she hasn't got any job that's +any good, and no real prospects bar this, +and nobody particular by birth, and doesn't +know anybody who is, and lives in the least +fashionable suburb and can only just afford +a second-class fare and... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, yes, go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +And yet somehow she sort of seems like +a--like a queen. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lord above us! And what kind of a queen? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. Well, look here, ARCHIE, +it's only my impression. I don't know her +well yet. It's only my impression. I only +tell you in absolute confidence. You won't +pass it on to anybody, of course. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. Go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, only she seemed more +like well, a kind of autocrat, you know, +who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't +mean that, only... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +So you're not going to marry her? + +JOHN BEAL + +Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd +never dare ask her. She's not that sort. I +tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good +Lord!) she'd be a queen if it wasn't for +Hussein, or something very like one. We can't +go marrying queens. Anyhow, not one like +her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not one like her? + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you--she's a--well, a kind of goddess. +You couldn't ask her if she loved you. It +would be such, such... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Such what? + +JOHN BEAL + +Such infernal cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with +her. But it seems to me you'll be seeing a +good deal of her some day if we pull this off. +And then, my boy-o, you'll be going and +getting in love with her. + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to +the Queen of Sheba. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you +from her all I can. + +JOHN BEAL + +Protect me from her? Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because there's lots of other girls +and it seems to me you might be happier with +some of them. + +JOHN BEAL + +But you haven't even seen her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect +you I somehow think I will. And if I'm not +... + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, and what then? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does +everything. I can't protect you. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but... + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike +Bluebeard.] + +JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] +My brother. + +[ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. +HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is +over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and +Hussein then bow to each other.] + +HUSSEIN + +You desired my presence. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am honoured. + +HUSSEIN + +And I. + +JOHN BEAL + +The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, +lent you one thousand greater gold pieces, +which in our money is one hundred thousand +pounds, as you acknowledge. [Hussein +nods his head.] And every year you were to +pay him for this two hundred and fifty of your +greater gold pieces--as you acknowledge also. + +HUSSEIN + +Even so. + +JOHN BEAL + +And this you have not yet had chance to +pay, but owe it still. + +HUSSEIN + +I do. + +JOHN BEAL + +And now Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with him. + +JOHN BEAL + +His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who +instructs me to be her agent. What have you +to say? + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +You acknowledge your debt to this lady, +Miss Miralda Clement? + +HUSSEIN + +I know her not. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will not pay your debt? + +HUSSEIN + +I will pay. + +JOHN BEAL + +If you bring the gold to my tent, my +brother will take it to Miss Clement. + +HUSSEIN + +I do not pay to Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +To whom do you pay? + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will you pay to Hinnard? + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried in the sea... + +JOHN BEAL + +He is not buried at sea. + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried by any river I go to the god +of rivers. + +JOHN BEAL + +He is buried on land near no river. + +HUSSEIN + +Therefore I will go to a bronze god of +earth, very holy, having the soil in his care +and the things of earth. I will take unto him +the greater pieces of gold due up to the year +when the white traveller died, and will melt +them in fire at his feet by night on the +mountains, saying, "O, Lruru-onn (this is his +name) take this by the way of earth to the +grave of Hinnard." And so I shall be free +of my debt before all gods. + +JOHN BEAL + +But not before me. I am English. And +we are greater than gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that, Johnny? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay, but I told him we're English +and that they're greater than all his bronze +gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's right, Johnny. + +[HUSSEIN looks fiercely at ARCHIE. +He sees ARCHIE's hat lying before a big +idol. He points at the hat and looks in +the face of the idol.] + +HUSSEIN [to the idol] +Drink! Drink! + +[He bows. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that he's saying? + +JOHN BEAL [meditatively] +O, nothing--nothing. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He won't pay, oh? + +JOHN BEAL + +No, not to Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Who to? + +JOHN BEAL + +To one of his gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That won't do. + +JOHN BEAL + +No. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What'll we do? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in +England. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, it isn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +If we were in England... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I know; if we were in England you could +call a policeman. I tell you what it is, +Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I tell you what; you want to see more of +Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because at the present moment our +friend Hussein is a craftier fellow than you, +and looks like getting the best of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help +us? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because you want to be a bit craftier +than Hussein, and I fancy she might make +you. + +JOHN BEAL + +She? How? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're mostly made what we are by some +woman or other. We think it's our own +cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are +you're no match for Hussein, but if you +altered... + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE; where did you get all those +ideas from? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +You never used to talk like that. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, well. + +JOHN BEAL + +You haven't been getting in love, ARCHIE, +have you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda. +I got a letter from her the same day I got +yours. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What does she say? + +JOHN BEAL + +I couldn't make it out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What were her words? + +JOHN BEAL + +She said she was going into it closer. She +underlined closer. What could she mean by +that? How could she get closer? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, the same way as I did. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you mean? I don't understand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +By coming here. + +JOHN BEAL + +By coming here? But she can't come here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because it's impossible. Absolutely +impossible. Why--good Lord--she couldn't +come here. Why, she'd want a chaperon and +a house and--and--everything. Good Lord, +she couldn't come here. It would be--well +it would be impossible--it couldn't be done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, all right. Then I don't know what she +meant. + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE! You don't really think she'd come +here? You don't really think it, do you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of +girl might do, but of course I can't say... + +JOHN BEAL + +Good Lord, ARCHIE! That would be awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? But what would I do? Where +would she go? Where would her chaperon +go? The chaperon would be some elderly +lady. Why, it would kill her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, if it did you've never met her, so you +needn't go into mourning for an elderly lady +that you don't know; not yet, anyway. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, of course not. You're laughing at me, +ARCHIE. But for the moment I took you +seriously. Of course, she won't come. One +can go into a thing closely without doing it +absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't +it be an awful situation if she did. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +All alone with me here? No, impossible. +And the country isn't civilised. + +ARCHIE BEAL. + +Women aren't civilised. + +JOHN BEAL + +Women aren't...? Good Lord, ARCHIE, +what an awful remark. What do you mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're tame, they're wild. We like all the +dull things and the quiet things, they like +all the romantic things and the dangerous +things. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE, it's just the other way about. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and +all the dangerous things. But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? Because we like them, I suppose. +I can't think of any other reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I hate danger. Don't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--well, yes, I suppose I do, really. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course you do. We all do. It's the +women that put us up to it. She's putting +you up to this. And the more she puts you +up to the more likely is Hussein to get it in his +fat neck. + +JOHN BEAL + +But--but you don't mean you'd hurt +Hussein? Not--not badly, I mean. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're under her orders, Johnny. See what +she says. + +JOHN BEAL + +You, you don't really think she'll come +here? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course I do, and the best thing too. +It's her show; she ought to come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but you don't understand. She's +just a young girl, A girl like Miss Miralda +couldn't come out here over the pass and +down these mountains, she'd never stand it, +and as for the chaperon... You've +never met Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to +get you to go from Bromley to this place can +look after herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see what that's got to do with it. +She was in trouble and I had to help her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way +here from Blackheath, and everyone will have +to help her. + +JOHN BEAL + +What beats me is how you can have the +very faintest inkling of what she's like +without ever having seen her and without my +having spoken of her to you for more than a +minute. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird, +you're not a traveller by nature, barring your +one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took +you there. And contrariwise, as they say in +a book you've never read, you're a +levelheaded business man and a hardworking +respectable stay-at-home. You meet a girl +in a train, and the next time I see you you're +in a place that isn't marked on the map and +telling it what gods it ought to worship and +what gods it ought to have agnosticism about. +Well, I say some girl. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must say you make the most +extraordinary deductions, but it was awfully good +of you to come, and I ought to be grateful; +and I am, too, I'm awfully grateful; and I +ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go +ahead. You shall say what you like and do +what you like. It isn't many brothers that +would do what you've done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's nothing. I like this country. +I'm glad I came. And if I can help you with +Hussein, why all the better. + +JOHN BEAL + +It's an awful country, Archie, but we've +got to see this through. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Does she know all about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, everything. I've written fully. + +OMAR [Off] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways... + +JOHN BEAL [shouting| + +O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said +it was an awful country. They sit down +outside one's tent and do that kind of thing for +no earthly reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I'd let them sing. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, you can't have people doing that kind of +thing. + +OMAR [in doorway] + +Master, I go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why do you come? + +OMAR + +I came to sing a joyous song to you, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why did you want to sing me a joyous +song? + +OMAR + +Because a lady is riding out of the West. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +A lady out of... Good Lord! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's coming, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said +a lady; there'd be the chaperon too. There'd +be two of them if it was Miss Miralda. But +he said a lady. One lady. It can't be her. +A girl like that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean +off the map. Oh, no, it isn't possible. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I wouldn't worry. + +JOHN BEAL + +Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the +situation's impossible. People would talk. +Don't you see what people would say? And +where could they go? Who would look after +them? Do try and understand how awful +it is. But it isn't. It's impossible. It can't +be them. For heaven's sake run out and see +if it is; and (good Lord!) I haven't brushed +my hair all day, and, and--oh, look at me. + +[He rushes to camp mirror. Exit +ARCHIE. + +JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately. + +Enter ARCHIE.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +It's what you call THEM. + +JOHN BEAL + +What I call THEM? Whatever do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's her. She's just like what you said. + +JOHN BEAL + +But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can +never have been able to afford a horse. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's on a camel. She'll be here in a +moment. [He goes to door.] Hurry up with that +hair; she's dismounted. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, Lord! What's the chaperon like? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, she's attending to that herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +Attending to it herself? What do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I expect she'll attend to most things. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in doorway +of tent, pulling back flap a little.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Who are you? + +HAFIZ + +I show the gracious lady to your tent. + +[Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing +a smile to HAFIZ.] + +MIRALDA + +Hullo, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--er--how do you do? + +[She looks at ARCHIE.] + +O, this is my brother--Miss Clement. + +MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL + +How do you do? + +MIRALDA + +I like this country. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid I hardly expected you. + +MIRALDA + +Didn't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +No. You see er--it's such a long way. +And wasn't it very expensive? + +MIRALDA + +Well, the captain of the ship was very kind +to me. + +JOHN BEAL + +O! But what did you do when you landed? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some Arabs coming this way +in a caravan. They were really very good to +me too. + +JOHN BEAL + +But the camel? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some people the other side of +the mountains. Everybody has been very +kind about it. And then there was the man +who showed me here. He's called Hafiz el +Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think? + +JOHN BEAL + +But, you know, this country, Miss +Clement, I'm half afraid it's hardly--isn't it, +Archie? Er--how long did you think of +staying? + +MIRALDA + +O, a week or so. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what you'll think of Al +Shaldomir. I'm afraid you'll find it... + +MIRALDA + +Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the +mountains, and the one pass, and no record of it +anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely. + +JOHN BEAL + +You see, I'm afraid--what I mean is I'm +afraid the place isn't even on the map! + +MIRALDA + +O, that's lovely of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +All decent places are. + +MIRALDA + +You mean if a place is on the map we've +got to behave accordingly. But if not, why... + +JOHN BEAL + +Hussein won't pay. + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a +savage-looking brigand. + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. + +[ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling +sometimes.] + +Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the +unholy heap and takes away two large idols, +one under each arm. Exit.] + +What's that, Mr. Beal? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible. +I told you it was an awful country. They +pray to these idols here, and some are all +right, though of course it's terribly +blasphemous, but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well +that heap is very bad indeed. + +MIRALDA + +What do they do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They kill people. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How? + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid they pour their blood down those +horrible throats. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How do you know? + +JOHN BEAL + +I've seen them do it, and those mouths +are all rusty. But it's all right now. It +won't happen any more. + +MIRALDA + +Won't it? Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I... + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're +all going to be thrown into the river. + +MIRALDA + +Have you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now. +They won't do it any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. + +JOHN BEAL + +What, what is it? I promise you that's all +right. They won't do that any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. I've never known anyone that tried +to govern a country or anything of that sort, +but... + +JOHN BEAL + +Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put +them right.... I'd be very glad of your +advice... Of course, I'm only here in +your name. + +MIRALDA + +What I mean is that I'd always thought +that the one thing you shouldn't do, if you +don't mind my saying so... + +JOHN BEAL + +No, certainly. + +MIRALDA + +Was to interfere in people's +religious beliefs. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but I don't think you quite +understand. The priests knife these people in the +throat, boys and girls, and then acolytes +lift them up and the blood runs down. I've +seen them. + +MIRALDA + +I think it's best to leave religion to the +priests. They understand that kind of thing. + +[JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror +and looks at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns +the glance; there is very nearly a twinkle in +ARCHIE's eyes.] + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +What do you think, Archie? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Poor fellow. We'd better send for him. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you say "poor fellow"? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's +awful to be in debt. I'd sooner almost +anything happened to me than to owe a lot of +money. + +MIRALDA + +Your remark didn't sound very +complimentary. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt. +And I should hate owing money to you, +Because... + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Because I should so awfully want to pay it. + +MIRALDA + +I see. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all I meant. + +MIRALDA + +Does Hussein awfully want to pay it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He +will then, of course. + +[Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy +heap.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, for the present these gods must +stay. Aho-oomlah's gone, but the rest must +stay for the present. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, go once more to the palace of the +Lord of the Pass and beat the outer door. +Say that the great lady herself would see him. +The great lady, Miss Clement, the white +traveller's heiress. + +DAOUD + +Yes, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hasten. + +[Exit DAOUD.] + +I have sent him for Hussein. + +MIRALDA + +I don't know their language. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will see him, and I'll tell you what he +says. + +MIRALDA [to ARCHIE] + +Have you been here long? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. I think he wrote to me by the same +mail as he wrote to you (if they have mails +here). I came at once. + +MIRALDA + +So did I; but you weren't on the Empress +of Switzerland. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, I came round more by land. + +JOHN BEAL + +You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein +in here to see you. He's such a--he's rather +a... + +MIRALDA + +What's the matter with him? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and +one doesn't know what he'll do. + +MIRALDA + +Well, we must see him first and hear what +he has to say before we take any steps. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what do you propose to do? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or +gives up the security... + +JOHN BEAL + +The security is the pass. + +MIRALDA + +Yes. If he gives up that or pays... + +JOHN BEAL + +You know he's practically king of the +whole country. It seems rather cheek almost +my sending for him like this. + +MIRALDA + +He must come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what are you going to do? + +MIRALDA + +If he gives up the pass... + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be +you'd be a kind of queen of it all. + +MIRALDA + +Well, if he does that, all right... + +JOHN BEAL + +But what if he doesn't? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he doesn't pay... + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[Enter HUSSEIN.] + +HUSSEIN + +Greeting once more. + +JOHN BEAL + +Again greeting.... The great lady, +Miss Clement, is here. + +[HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each +other.] + +You will pay to Miss Clement and not to +your god of bronze. On the word of an +Englishman, your god of bronze shall not have +one gold piece that belongs to the great lady! + +HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous] + +On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only +pay to Hinnard. + +[He stands smiling while MIRALDA +regards him. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do now? + +JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA] + +I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to +introduce you to like that. I'm sorry he came +now. + +MIRALDA + +O, I like him, I think he looks splendid. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are we to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What do you say, Miss Clement? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, what do you feel we ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to +you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, it's your money. What do you think +we really ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, of course, I think you ought to kill +Hussein. + +[JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look +at each other a little startled.] + +JOHN BEAL + +But wouldn't that--wouldn't that +be--murder? + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, according to the English law. + +JOHN BEAL + +I see; you mean--you mean we're not--but +we are English. + +MIRALDA + +I mean it wouldn't be murder--by your +law, unless you made it so. + +JOHN BEAL + +By my law? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, if you can interfere with their religion +like this, and none of them say a word, +why--you can make any laws you like. + +JOHN BEAL + +But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the +Pass, and that's everything here. I'm nobody. + +MIRALDA + +O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's +different. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I think she means that if Hussein weren't +there there'd be only you. Of course, I don't +know. I've only just come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we can't kill Hussein! + +[MIRALDA begins to cry.] + +O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss +Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said +anything you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for +worlds. I'm awfully sorry. It's a beastly +country, I know. I'm really sorry you came. +I feel it's all my fault. I'm really awfully +sorry... + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. Never mind. I was so +helpless, and I asked you to help me. I never +ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have +spoken to you at all in that train without +being introduced; but I was so helpless. And +now, and now, I haven't a penny in the world, +and, O, I don't know what to do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Anything in the wide world. Please, please +don't cry. We'll do anything. + +MIRALDA + +I... I only, I only wanted to--to kill +Hussein. But never mind, it doesn't matter +now. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we, +Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. I--I +suppose he deserves it, doesn't he? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose he does. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled. +My brother and I will talk it over. + +MIRALDA [still sniping] + +And--and--don't hang him or anything--he +looks so fine.... I--I wouldn't like +him treated like that. He has such a grand +beard. He ought to die fighting. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement. + +MIRALDA + +It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's +sweet of both of you. I don't know what I d +have done without you. I seemed to know +it that day the moment I saw you. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all right. + +MIRALDA + +Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the +trouble. That's what I've been thinking of + +MIRALDA + +Why, isn't there... + +JOHN BEAL + +No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to +do, Archie. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I--I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement +would have a scheme. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL] + +I rely on you, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +I--I; but what can I... You see, +you're all alone. If you'd anyone with you, +you could have... + +MIRALDA + +I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt. +But on the whole I thought it better not to +tell anyone. + +JOHN BEAL + +Not to tell... + +MIRALDA + +No, on the whole I didn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +I say, Archie, what are we to do? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Here's Daoud. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +JOHN BEAL + +The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir! + +DAOUD + +I have brought two watchers of the +doorstep to guard the noble lady. + +JOHN BEAL + +He says he's brought two watchers of the +doorstep to look after Miss Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go +anywhere now. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, really, that is better. Yes that will +be all right. We can find a room for you now. +The trouble was your being alone. I hope +you'll like them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them +to enter here. + +DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway] + +Ho! Enter! + +JOHN BEAL + +That's all right, ARCHIE, isn't it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a +chaperon, black or white. + +JOHN BEAL + +You won't mind their being black, will you, +Miss Clement? + +MIRALDA + +No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse +than white ones. + +[Enter BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA +two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock +fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at +them. They begin to fan slightly.] + +DAOUD + +The watchers of the doorstep. + +JOHN BEAL + +Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may +not guard a lady's door. + +[BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile +ingratiatingly.] + +We are not men. + +BAZZALOL [bowing] + +Curtain + +Six and a half years elapse + + +THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES + +When morn is bright on the mountains olden + Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day, + When morn is bright and the marshes golden, +Where shall the lost lights fade away? + And where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows + Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray, +And the water is streaked with the flash of +swallows + And all through summer the iris sway. + But where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +When night is black in the iris marshes. + + + + +ACT III + +SCENE 1 + +Six and a half years later. +Al Shaldomir. +A room in the palace. + +MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions, +JOHN beside her. + +Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them. + +OMAR [declaiming to a zither] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God + And after Paradise, all praise. + Thou art the theme of all their lays. +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir.... + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Omar. + +OMAR + +O lady, I depart. +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA [languidly] + +John, John. I wish you'd marry me. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you're thinking of those old +customs again that we left behind us seven years +ago. What's the good of it? + +MIRALDA + +I had a fancy that I wished you would. + +JOHN + +What's the good of it? You know you are +my beloved. There are none of those +clergymen within hundreds of miles. What's the +good of it? + +MIRALDA + +We could find one, John. + +JOHN + +O, yes, I suppose we could, but... + +MIRALDA + +Why won't you? + +JOHN + +I told you why. + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, that instinct that you must not +marry. That's not your reason, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, it is. + +MIRALDA + +It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason. +It's no reason at all. There's some other +reason. + +JOHN + +No, there isn't. But I feel that in my +bones. I don't know why. You know that +I love none else but you. Besides, we're +never going back, and it doesn't matter. +This isn't Blackheath. + +MIRALDA + +So I must live as your slave. + +JOHN + +No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my +slave. Did not the singer compare our love +to the desire of the nightingale for the +evening star? All know that you are my queen. + +MIRALDA + +They do not know at home. + +JOHN + +Home? Home? How could they know? +What have we in common with home? Rows +and rows of little houses; and if they hear a +nightingale there they write to the papers. +And--and if they saw this they'd think they +were drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd. +What has set you thinking of home? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +But I am not a king. I am only Shereef. + +MIRALDA + +You are all-powerful here, John, you can do +what you please, if you wish to. You don't +love me at all. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't +I kill Hussein for you? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, but you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +And Hussein's people killed ARCHIE. That +was for you too. I brought my brother out +here to help you. He was engaged to be +married, too. + +MIRALDA + +But you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves +the iris marshes. You know the song they +sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III) + +MIRALDA + +Then why won't you marry me? + +JOHN + +I told you, I told you. I had a dream about +the future. I forgot the dream, but I know +I was not to marry. I will not wrong the +future. + +MIRALDA + +Don't be crazy. + +JOHN + +I will have what fancies I please, crazy or +sane. Am I not Shereef of Shaldomir? Who +dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +It is not my wish. + +MIRALDA + +I will, I will, I will. + +JOHN + +Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast +into a well and take twenty of the fairest +daughters of Al Shaldomir in your place, who +can gainsay me? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +O, do not be tiresome. + +MIRALDA + +Was it not my money that brought you +here? Was it not I who said "Kill Hussein"? +What power could you have had, had +Hussein lived? What would you have been doing +now, but for me? + +JOHN + +I don't know, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Catching some silly train to the City. +Working for some dull firm. Living in some +small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought +you from all that, and you won't make me a +queen. + +JOHN + +Is it not enough that you are my beloved? +You know there is none other but you. Is +it not enough, Miralda? + +MIRALDA + +It is not enough. I will be queen. + +JOHN + +Tchah!... Miralda, I know you are a +wonderful woman, the most wonderful in the +East; how you ever came to be in the West +I don't know, and a train of all places; but, +Miralda, you must not have petty whims, +they don't become you. + +MIRALDA + +Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen? + +JOHN + +Yes, when it is only the name you want. +You are a queen. You have all you wish for. +Are you not my beloved? And have I not +power here over all men? Could I not close +the pass? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be queen. + +JOHN + +Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do +than to sit and hear your whims. When I +come back you will have some other whim. +Miralda, you have too many whims. + +[He rises.] + +MIRALDA + +Will you be back soon? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +When will you come back, John? + +[She is reclining, looking fair, fanning +slightly.] + +JOHN + +In half an hour. + +MIRALDA + +In half an hour? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA + +Half an hour. + +[Her fan is laid down. She clutches +it with sudden resolve. She goes to the +wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans +against it. She fans herself now with +obvious deliberation. Three times the +great fan goes pat against the window, and +then again separately three times; and +then she puts it against the window once +with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled. +She returns to the cushions and reclines +with beautiful care, fanning herself softly. + +Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN] + +HAFIZ + +Lady! You bade me come. + +MIRALDA + +Did I, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, your fan. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, I was fanning myself. + +HAFIZ + +Seven times, lady. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, was it? Well, now you're here. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O star of these times. O light over +lonely marshes. [He kneels by her and +embraces her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady? + +MIRALDA + +For half an hour, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +How know you for half an hour? + +MIRALDA + +He said so. + +HAFIZ + +He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a +man say so. + +MIRALDA + +I know him. + +HAFIZ + +In our country who knows any man so +much? None. + +MIRALDA + +He'll be away for half an hour. + +HAFIZ [embracing] + +O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for +me? + +HAFIZ + +I would do all things, lady, O evening +star. + +MIRANDA + +Would you make me a queen, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +If--if the Shereef were gathered? + +MIRALDA + +Even so, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I would make you queen of all that +lies west of the passes. + +MIRANDA + +You would make me queen? + +HAFIZ + +Indeed, before all my wives, before all +women, over all Shaldomir, named the elect. + +MIRALDA + +O, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me. +[HAFIZ does so ad lib.] + +Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour. + +MIRALDA + +The appointed hour? + +HAFIZ + +Even the appointed hour, the last, leading +to darkness. + +MIRALDA + +Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's +hour is soon? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a +banquet. Let the great ones of Shaldomir be +bidden there. + +MIRALDA + +There shall be a banquet, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of +the garden. + +MIRALDA + +It shall be soon, Hafiz. +[More embraces.] + +HAFIZ + +And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son +of the baker. + +MIRALDA + +He shall be bidden, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +O lady, it is well. + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL]. +Silence. Silence. Silence. + +BAZZALOL [kneeling] + +O, master! + +HAFIZ + +Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out; +but do you be silent. + +BAZZALOL + +Aye, master. + +HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA] + +And you. Though this one speak, yet be +silent, or dread the shadow of Hafiz el +Alcolahn. + +[He drops a bag of gold. +THOOTHOOBABA goes down and grabs at the gold; +his eyes gloat over it.] + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h. + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +MIRALDA arranges herself on the +cushions. She looks idly at each Nubian. The +Nubians put each a finger over his lips and +go on fanning with one hand.] + +MIRALDA + +A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen. + +[Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him +caressingly. + +Enter DAOUD.] + +Oh, you have brought Daoud with you. + +JOHN + +Why not? + +MIRALDA + +You know that I don't like Daoud. + +JOHN + +I wish to speak with him. + +[MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and +moves away in silence. Exit L.] + +JOHN + +Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Great master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery +of those called Blessed, beyond the city's +gates, you swore to me by the graves of both +your parents.... + +DAOUD + +Great master, even so I swore. + +JOHN + +.... to be true to me always. + +DAOUD + +There is no Shereef but my master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, you have kept your word. + +DAOUD + +I have sought to, master. + +JOHN + +You have helped me often, Daoud, warned +me and helped me often. Through you I +knew those currents that run through the +deeps of the market, in silence and all men +feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of +them, and when I knew--then I could look +after myself, Daoud. They could do nothing +against me then. Well, now I hold this +people. I hold them at last, Daoud, and now +--well, I can rest a little. + +DAOUD + +Not in the East, master. + +JOHN + +Not in the East, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Why? What do you mean? + +DAOUD + +In Western countries, master, whose tales +I have read, in a wonderful book named the +"Good Child's History of England," in the +West a man hath power over a land, and lo! +the power is his and descends to his son's son +after him. + +JOHN + +Well, doesn't it in the East? + +DAOUD + +Not if he does not watch, master; in the +night and the day, and in the twilight +between the day and the night, and in the dawn +between the night and the day. + +JOHN + +I thought you had pretty long dynasties +in these parts, and pretty lazy ones. + +DAOUD + +Master, he that was mightiest of those that +were kings in Babylon had a secret door +prepared in an inner chamber, which led to a +little room, the smallest in the palace, whose +back door opened secretly to the river, even +to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited +all the days of his reign. + +JOHN + +Did he really now? Well, he was taking no +chances. Did he have to use it? + +DAOUD + +No, master. Such boats are never used. +Those that watch like that do not need to +seek them, and the others, they would never +be able to reach the river in time, even though +the boat were there. + +JOHN + +I shouldn't like to have to live like that. +Why, a river runs by the back of this palace. +I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm +glad I don't have to keep a boat there. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it you are worrying about? +Who is it you are afraid of? + +DAOUD + +Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately +I ordered my spies to watch him no longer. +Why does he hate me? + +DAOUD + +Because, most excellent master, you slew +Hussein. + +JOHN + +Slew Hussein? What is that to do with +him? May I not slay whom I please? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Even so. But he was +Hussein's enemy. + +JOHN + +His enemy, eh? + +DAOUD + +For years he had dreamed of the joy of +killing Hussein. + +JOHN + +Well, he should have done it before I came. +We don't hang over things and brood over +them for years where I come from. If a +thing's to be done, it's done. + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans +for years. He would have killed him and got +his substance; and then, when the hour drew +near, you came, and Hussein died, swiftly, +not as Hafiz would have had him die; and +lo! thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz is +no more than a beetle that runs about in the +dirt. + +JOHN + +Well, so you fear Hafiz? + +DAOUD + +Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not +Hafiz. But, master, hast thou seen when the +thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard +and the sky is scarce yet black, how little +winds run in the grass and sigh and die; and +the flower beckons a moment with its head; +all the world full of whispers, master, all +saying nothing; then the lightning, master, and +the anger of God; and men say it came +without warning? [Simply.] I hear those things +coming, master. + +JOHN + +Well? + +DAOUD + +Master, it is all silent in the market. Once, +when the price of turquoises was high, men +abused the Shereef. When the merchant men +could not sell their pomegranates for silver +they abused the Shereef. It is men's way, +master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the +market. It is like the grasses with the idle +winds, that whisper and sigh and die away; +like the flowers beckoning to nothing. And +so, master, and so.... + +JOHN + +I see, you fear some danger. + +DAOUD + +I fear it, master. + +JOHN + +What danger, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Master, I know not. + +JOHN + +From what quarter, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir, +named the elect, from that quarter. + +JOHN + +That quarter? Why, that is the gracious +lady's innermost chamber. + +DAOUD + +From that quarter, great master, O Lord +of the Pass. + +JOHN + +Daoud, I have cast men into prison for +saying less than this. Men have been flogged +on the feet for less than this. + +DAOUD + +Slay me, master, but hear my words. + +JOHN + +I will not slay you. You are mistaken, +Daoud. You have made a great mistake. +The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady +has scarcely seen Hafiz. She knows nothing +of the talk of the market. Who could tell +her? No one comes here. It is absurd. Only +the other day she said to me... But it +is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the +people would never rebel against me. Do I +not govern them well? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. + +JOHN + +Why should they rebel, then? + +DAOUD + +They think of the old times, master. + +JOHN + +The old times? Why, their lives weren't +safe. The robbers came down from the +mountains and robbed the market whenever they +had a mind. + +DAOUD + +Master, men were content in the old times. + +JOHN + +But were the merchants content? + +DAOUD + +Those that loved merchandise were +content, master. Those that loved it not went +into the mountains. + +JOHN + +But were they content when they were +robbed? + +DAOUD + +They soon recovered their losses, master. +Their prices were unjust and they loved usury. + +JOHN + +And were the people content with unjust +prices? + +DAOUD + +Some were, master, as men have to be in +all countries. The others went into the +mountains and robbed the merchants. + +JOHN + +I see. + +DAOUD + +But now, master, a man robs a merchant +and he is cast into prison. Now a man is +slain in the market and his son, his own son, +master, may not follow after the aggressor +and slay him and burn his house. They are +ill-content, master. No man robs the +merchants, no man slays them, and the +merchants' hearts are hardened and they oppress +all men. + +JOHN + +I see. They don't like good government? + +DAOUD + +They sigh for the old times, master. + +JOHN + +I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for +them, they want their old bad government +back again. + +DAOUD + +It is the old way, master. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well, +we must watch. You have warned me once +again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you +are wrong, Daoud, about the gracious lady. +You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are +mistaken, Daoud. I know it could not be. + +DAOUD + +I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am +mistaken. Yet, watch. Watch, master. + +JOHN + +Well, I will watch. + +DAOUD + +And, master, if ever I come to you bearing +oars, then watch no longer, master, but follow +me through the banquet chamber and through +the room beyond it. Move as the wild deer +move when there is danger, without pausing, +without wondering, without turning round; +for in that hour, master, in that hour.... + +JOHN + +Through the room beyond the banquet +chamber, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Aye, master, following me. + +JOHN + +But there is no door beyond, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Master, I have prepared a door. + +JOHN + +A door, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +A door none wots of, master. + +JOHN + +Whither does it lead? + +DAOUD + +To a room that you know not of, a little +room; you must stoop, master. + +JOHN + +O, and then? + +DAOUD + +To the river, master. + +JOHN + +The river! But there's no boat there. + +DAOUD + +Under the golden willow, master. + +JOHN + +A boat? + +DAOUD + +Even so, under the branches. + +JOHN + +Is it come to that?... No, Daoud, all +this is unnecessary. It can't come to that. + +DAOUD + +If ever I come before you bearing two oars, +in that hour, master, it is necessary. + +JOHN + +But you will not come. It will never come +to that. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +A wise man can stop things before they +get as far as that. + +DAOUD + +They that were kings in Babylon were wise +men, master. + +JOHN + +Babylon! But that was thousands of +years ago. + +DAOUD + +Man changes not, master. + +JOHN + +Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it +ever comes to that... + +[Enter MIRALDA.] + +MIRALDA + +I thought Daoud was gone. + +DAOUD + +Even now I go, gracious lady. + +[Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence +with JOHN and MIRALDA till he goes. +She goes and retakes herself comfortable +on the cushions. He is not entirely at ease.] + +MIRALDA + +You had a long talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he came and talked a good deal. + +MIRALDA + +What about? + +JOHN + +O, just talk; you know these Eastern +people. + +MIRALDA + +I thought it was something you were +discussing with him. + +JOHN + +O, no. + +MIRALDA + +Some important secret. + +JOHN + +No, not at all. + +MIRALDA + +You often talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks +sense I listen, but to-day... + +MIRALDA + +What did he come for to-day? + +JOHN + +O, nothing. + +MIRALDA + +You have a secret with Daoud that you +will not share with me. + +JOHN + +No, I have not. + +MIRALDA + +What was it he said? + +JOHN + +He said there was a king in Babylon who... + +[DAOUD slips into the room.] + +MIRALDA + +In Babylon? What has that to do with +us? + +JOHN + +Nothing. I told you he was not talking +sense. + +MIRALDA + +Well, what did he say? + +JOHN + +He said that in Babylon... + +DAOUD + +Hist! + +JOHN + +O, well... + +[MIRALDA glares, but calms herself +and says nothing. + +Exit DAOUD.] + +MIRALDA + +What did Daoud say of Babylon? + +JOHN + +O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do +with us. + +MIRALDA + +But I wish to hear it. + +JOHN + +I forget. + +[For a moment there is silence.] + +MIRALDA + +John, John. Will you do a little thing for +me? + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Say you will do it, John. I should love to +have one of my little wishes granted. + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill +Daoud. + +JOHN + +I will not. + +[He walks up and down in front of the +two Nubians in silence. She plucks +petulantly at a pillow. She suddenly calms +herself. A light comes into her eyes. The +Nubians go on fanning. JOHN goes on +pacing.] + + MIRALDA + +John, John, I have forgotten my foolish +fancies. + +JOHN + +I am glad of it. + +MIRALDA + +I do not really wish you to kill Daoud. + +JOHN [same voice] + +I'm glad you don't. + +MIRALDA + +I have only one fancy now, John. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it? + +MIRALDA + +Give a banquet, John. I want you to give +a banquet. + +JOHN + +A banquet? Why? + +MIRALDA + +Is there any harm in my fancy? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +Then if I may not be a queen, and if you +will not kill Daoud for me, give a banquet, +John. There is no harm in a banquet. + +JOHN + +Very well. When do you want it? + +MIRALDA + +To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones +to it, all the illustrious ones in Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Very well. + +MIRALDA + +And bid Daoud come. + +JOHN + +Daoud? You asked me to kill him. + +MIRALDA + +I do not wish that any longer, John. + +JOHN + +You have queer moods, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +May I not change my moods, John? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't understand them. + +MIRALDA + +And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John. + +JOHN + +Hafiz? Why? + +MIRALDA + +I don't know, John. It was just my fancy. + +JOHN + +Your fancy, eh? + +MIRALDA + +That was all. + +JOHN + +Then I will ask him. Have you any other +fancy? + +MIRALDA + +Not now, John. + +JOHN + +Then go, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Go? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +JOHN + +Because I command it. + +MIRALDA + +Because you command it? + +JOHN + +Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir. + +MIRALDA + +Very well. + +[Exit L. + +He walks to the door to see that she is +really gone. He comes back to centre and +stands with back to audience, pulling a +cord quietly from his pocket and arranging +it. + +He moves half left and comes up behind +BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the cord +over BAZZALOL's head, and tightens it +round his neck.] + +[BAZZALOL flops on his knees. + +THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.] + +JOHN + +Speak! + +[BAZZALOL is silent. + +JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA +goes on quietly fanning.] + +BAZZALOL + +I cannot. + +JOHN + +If you would speak, raise your left hand. +If you raise your left hand and do not speak +you shall die. + +[BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens +more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby +left hand high. JOHN releases the cord. +BAZZALOL blinks and moves his mouth.] + +BAZZALOL + +Gracious Shereef, one visited the great +lady and gave us gold, saying, "Speak not." + +JOHN + +When? + +BAZZALOL + +Great master, one hour since. + +JOHN [a little viciously] + +Who? + +BAZZALOL + +O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +Give me the gold. + +[BAZZALOL gives it.] + +[To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the +gold. + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, none gave me gold. + +[John touches his dagger, and looks like +using it. + +THOOTHOOBABA gives it.] + +JOHN + +Take back your gold. Be silent about this. +You too. + +[He throws gold to BAZZALOL.] + +Gold does not make you silent, but there is +a thing that does. What is that thing? +Speak. What thing makes you silent? + +BAZZALOL + +O, great master, it is death. + +JOHN + +Death, eh? And how will you die if you +speak? You know how you will die? + +BAZZALOL + +Yes, heaven-sent. + +JOHN + +Tell your comrade, then. + +BAZZALOL + +We shall be eaten, great master. + +JOHN + +You know by what? + +BAZZALOL + +Small things, great master, small things. +Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h. + +[THOOTHOOBABA's knees scarcely hold +him.] + +JOHN + +It is well. + + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +A small street. Al Shaldomir. + +Time: Next day. + +[Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE +BISHAREENS. + +He goes to an old green door, pointed of +course in the Arabic way.] + +SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Ho, Bishareens! + +[The BISHAREENS run on.] + +SHEIK + +It is the place and the hour. + +BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN] + +Watch. + +[FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and +watches up sunny street.] + +FIRST BISHAREEN + +He comes. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes +straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.] + +SHEIK [turning] + +Hear, O Bishareens. + +[HAFIZ places flute to his lips.] + +A BISHAREEN + +And the gold, master? + +SHEIK + +Silence! It is the signal. + +[HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on +his flute.] + +HAFIZ + +So. + +SHEIK + +Master, once more. + +[HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.] + +SHEIK + +Hear, O Bishareens! + +[He plays the brief tune again.] + +HAFIZ [to SHEIK] + +Like that. + +SHEIK + +We have heard, O master. + +[He walks away L. Hands move in +the direction of knife-hilts.] + +THE BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +He plays a merry little tune on his +flute as he walks away.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 3 + +The banqueting hall. A table along the +back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with +notables of Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA +on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ EL +ALCOLAHN. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN] + +You bade Daoud be present? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +He is not here. + +JOHN + +Daoud not here? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Why? + +MIRALDA + +We all obey you, but not Daoud. + +JOHN + +I do not understand it. + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef has frowned. + +[Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He +halts at once and salutes with his sword, +then takes a side pace to his left, standing +against the wall, sword at the carry. + +JOHN acknowledges salute by touching +his forehead with the inner tips of his +fingers.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the +dance-step; march. + +[Enter R. some men in single file; +uniform, pale green silks; swords at carry. +They advance in single file, in a slightly +serpentine way, deviating to their left a +little out of the straight and returning to it, +stepping neatly on the tips of their toes. +Their march is fantastic and odd without +being exactly funny. + + The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their + left flank and marches about level with the + third or fourth man. + When he reaches the centre he gives + another word of command.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +With reverence: Salute. + +[The actor who takes this part should +have been an officer or N. C. O. + +JOHN stands up and acknowledges their +salute by touching his forehead with the +fingers of the right hand, palm turned +inwards. + +Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.] + +A NOTABLE + +He does not smile this evening. + +A WOMAN + +The Shereef? + +NOTABLE + +He has not smiled. + +[Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with +brass bowl. He bows. He walks to centre +opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.] + +ZABNOOL + +Behold. The bowl is empty. + +[ZABNOOL produces a snake.] + +ZABNOOL + +Ah, little servant of Death. + +[He produces flowers.] + +Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from +Nowhere. + +[He produces birds.] + +Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere. +Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the little +empty songs of the land of Nowhere. + +[He seats himself on the ground facing +JOHN. He puts the bowl on the ground. +He places a piece of silk, with queer +designs on it over the bowl. He partly +draws the silk away with his left hand and +puts in his right. He brings out a young +crocodile and holds it by the neck.] + +CONJURER + +Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a +crocodile. + +[He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps +up the crocodile in some drapery and walks +away. As he goes he addresses his +crocodile.] + +O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers, +you sought to evade me in an empty bowl. +O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the +Shereef. The Shereef has seen you, O vexer +of swimmers, O pig in armour, O... + +[Exit. + +SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes +on.] + +SHABEESH + +Bad man, master; he very, very bad man. + +[He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly, +impetus of which carries ZABNOOL to the +wings.] + +Very, very bad man, master. + +MIRALDA [reprovingly] + +Zabnool has amused us. + +SHABEESH + +He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get +crocodile from devil. From devil Poolyana, +lily lady. Very, very bad. + +MIRALDA + +He may call on devils if he amuse us, +Shabeesh. + +SHABEESH + +But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my +devil, lily lady. Very, very, very bad. My +devil Poolyana. + +MIRALDA + +Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse +us. + +SHABEESH + +Shall one devil serve two masters? + +MIRALDA + +Why not? + +SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's +hands] + +Very bad man go away. Go away, bad +man: go away, bad man. Poolyana not want +bad man: Poolyana only work for good man. +He mighty fine devil. Poolyana, Poolyana. +Big, black, fine, furry devil. Poolyana, +Poolyana, Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big +angry tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. +Send me up fine young pig for the Shereef. +Poolyana, Poolyana. Lil yellow pig with +curly tail. [Small pig appears.] O +Poolyana, great Poolyana. Fine black fur and +grey fur underneath. Fine ferocious devil +you my devil, Poolyana. O, Poolyana, +Poolyana, Poolyana. Send me a big beast what +chew bad man's crocodile. Big beast with +big teeth, eat him like a worm. + +[He has spread large silk handkerchief +on floor and is edging back from it in +alarm.] + +Long nails in him toes, big like lion, +Poolyana. Send great smelly big beast--eat +up bad man's crocodile. + +[At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH +leaps in alarm.] + +He come, he come. I see his teeth and +horns. + +[Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor +under handkerchief.] + +O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle +joke. You laugh at poor conjuring man. +You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile. +Bad Poolyana. Bad Poolyana. + +[Whacks ground with stick.] + +You plenty bad devil, Poolyana. + +[Whacking it again. Handkerchief has +been thrown on ground again. +Handkerchief stirs slightly.] + +No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil. +You not bad devil. You plenty good devil, +Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man +quite happy on muddy earth. No, Poolyana, +no! O, no, no, devil. O, no, no! Hell plenty +nice place for devil. Master! He not my +devil! He other man's devil! + +JOHN + +What's this noise? What's it about? +What's the matter? + +SHABEESH [in utmost terror] + +He coming, master! Coming! + +ZABNOOL + +Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay +down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in +nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want +no devil to-day. + +[ZABNOOL before speaking returns to +centre and pats air over ground where +handkerchief lies. + +Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOL come +together side by side and bow and smile +together toward the SHEREEF. Gold is +thrown to them, which ZABNOOL gathers +and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a share +back to ZABNOOL.] + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef is silent. + +[Enter three women R. in single file, +dancing, and carrying baskets full of pink +rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing +down rose-leaves, leaving a path of them +behind them. Exeunt L.] + +A NOTABLE + +Still he is silent. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not speak? + +JOHN + +I do not wish to speak. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +[Enter OMAR with his zither.] + + OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +Birds sing thy praises night and day; + The nightingale in every wood, +Blackbirds in fields profound with may; +Birds sing of thee by every way. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +My heart is ringing with thee still +Though far away, O fairy fields, +My soul flies low by every hill +And misses not one daffodil. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +O mother of my roving dreams +Blue is the night above thy spires +And blue by myriads of streams +Paradise through thy gateway gleams. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not wish to speak? + +JOHN + +You desire me to speak? + +MIRALDA + +No. They all wonder why you do not +speak; that is all. + +JOHN + +I will speak. They shall hear me. + +MIRALDA + +O, there is no need to. + +JOHN + +There is a need. [He rises.] People of +Shaldomir, behold I know your plottings. +I know the murmurings that you murmur +against me. When I sleep in my inner +chamber my ear is in the market, while I sit at +meat I hear men whisper far hence and know +their innermost thoughts. Hope not to +overcome me by your plans nor by any manner of +craftiness. My gods are gods of brass; none +have escaped them. They cannot be +overthrown. Of all men they favour my people. +Their hands reach out to the uttermost ends +of the earth. Take heed, for my gods are +terrible. I am the Shereef; if any dare +withstand me I will call on my gods and they shall +crush him utterly. They shall grind him into +the earth and trample him under, as though +he had not been. The uttermost parts have +feared the gods of the English. They reach +out, they destroy, there is no escape from +them. Be warned; for I do not permit any +to stand against me. The laws that I have +given you, you shall keep; there shall be no +other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my +wrath and the wrath of my gods. Take heed, +I speak not twice. I spoke once to Hussein. +Hussein heard not; and Hussein is dead, his +ears are closed for ever. Hear, O people. + +HAFIZ + +O Shereef, we murmur not against you. + +JOHN + +I know thoughts and hear whispers. I +need not instruction, Hafiz. + + HAFIZ + +You exalt yourself over us as none did +aforetime. + +JOHN + +Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been +Shereef hitherto, but now I will be king. Al +Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled +too long over a little country. I will be the +equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim it. +The pass is mine; the mountains shall be +mine also. And he that rules the mountains +has mastery over all the plains beyond. If +the men of the plains will not own it let them +make ready; for my wrath will fall on them +in the hour when they think me afar, on a +night when they think I dream. I proclaim +myself king over... + +[HAFIZ pulls out his flute and plays the +weird, strange tune. JOHN looks at him in +horrified anger.] + +JOHN + +The penalty is death! Death is the +punishment for what you do, Hafiz. You have +dared while I spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is +death. Go to Hussein. I, the king... +say it. + +[DAOUD has entered R., bearing two +oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking +at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near +back. + +JOHN gives one look at the banqueters, +then he follows DAOUD. Exit. + +All look astonished. Some rise and +peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.] + +OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise. + +CRIES [off] + +Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the +Christian. + +[Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS, +followed by all his men.] + +SHEIK + +We are the Bishareens, master. + +[MIRALDA standing up, right arm +akimbo, left arm pointing perfectly straight out +towards the small door, hand extended.] + +MIRALDA + +He is there. + +[The BISHAREENS run off through the +little door.] + +A NOTABLE + +Not to interfere with old ways is wisest. + +ANOTHER + +Indeed, it would have been well for him. + +[The BISHAREENS begin to return +looking all about them like disappointed +hounds.] + +A BISHAREEN + +He is not there, master. + +HAFIZ + +Not there? Not there? Why, there is no +door beyond. He must needs be there, and +his chief spy with him. + +SHEIK [off] + +He is not here. + +MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall] + +O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him. + +HAFIZ + +Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is +gone. + +MIRALDA + +When I am weary of a man he must die. + +[He embraces her knees.] + +ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd +that followed the BISHAREENS. She is +blind.] + +Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of +Hafiz. Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead her +near.] Hafiz! Hafiz! + +[She finds his shoulder and tries to drag +him away.] + +HAFIZ + +Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of +the innermost deeps of the sea. + +[He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's +hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.] + +Curtain + + + + +ACT IV + +SCENE 1 + +Three years elapse. + +Scene: The street outside the Acacias. + +Time: Evening. + +[Ali leans on a pillar-box watching. +John shuffles on L. He is miserably +dressed, an Englishman down on his luck. +A nightingale sings far off.] + +JOHN + +A nightingale here. Well, I never. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise... + +The infernal place! I wish I had never +seen it! Wonder what set me thinking of +that? + +[The nightingale sings another bar. +JOHN turns to his left and walks down the +little path that leads to the door of the +Acacias.] + +I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a +fine house like this. Mustn't. Mustn't. + +[He draws near it reluctantly. He puts +his hand to the bell and withdraws it. +Then he rings and snatches his hand away. +He prepares to run away. Finally he rings +it repeatedly, feverishly, violently. + +Enter LIZA, opening the door.] + +LIZA + +Ullo, 'Oo's this! + +JOHN + +I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I +oughtn't to have rung your bell; but I've +seen better days, and wondered if--I +wondered... + +LIZA + +I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's +wot I oughtn't. Now I look at you, I +oughtn't to 'ave opened it. Wot does you +want? + +JOHN + +O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must +come here. I must. + +LIZA + +Must? Why? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Wot do you want? + +JOHN + +Who lives here? + +LIZA + +Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Johnstone. What do you want? + +JOHN + +Could I see Mr. Cater? + +LIZA + +He's out. Dining at the Mansion House. + + JOHN + +Oh. + +LIZA + +He is. + +JOHN + +Could I see Mrs. Cater? + +LIZA + +See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you +couldn't. + +[She prepares to shut the door.] + +JOHN + +Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut +me out. If you knew what I'd suffered, if +you knew what I'd suffered. Don't! + +LIZA [coming forward again] + +Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to +eat? + +JOHN + +No, I've had nothing all day. + +LIZA + +'Aven't you really now? + +JOHN + +No. And I get little enough at any time. + +LIZA [kindly] + +You ought to work. + +JOHN + +I... I can't. I can't bring myself... +I've seen better times. + +LIZA + +Still, you could work. + +JOHN + +I--I can't grub for halfpennies when I've +--when I've... + +LIZA + +When you've what? + +JOHN + +Lost millions. + +LIZA + +Millions? + +JOHN + +I've lost everything. + +LIZA + +'Ow did you lose it? + +JOHN + +Through being blind. But never mind, +never mind. It's all gone now, and I'm +hungry. + +LIZA + +'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck? + +JOHN + +It's three years now. + +LIZA + +Couldn't get a regular job, like? + +JOHN + +Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose +it's my fault, miss. But the heart was out of +me. + +LIZA + +Dear me, now. + +JOHN + +Miss. + +LIZA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +You've a kind face... + +LIZA + +'Ave I? + +JOHN + +Yes. Would you do me a kind turn? + +LIZA + +Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down +on yer luck--I don't like to see a man like +you are, I must say. + +JOHN + +Would you let me come into the big house +and speak to the missus a moment? + +LIZA + +She'd row me awful if I did. This house is +very respectable. + +JOHN + +I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck +might change. + +LIZA + +But I don't know what she'd say if I did. + +JOHN + +Miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know wot she'd say. + +JOHN + +I must come in, miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll say. + +JOHN + +I must. I can't help myself. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll... + +[JOHN is in, door shuts.] + +[ALI throws his head up and laughs, +but quite silently.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +The drawing-room at the Acacias. + +A moment later. + +The scene is the same as in Act I, except +that the sofa which was red is now green, +and the photograph of Aunt Martha is +replaced by that of a frowning old colonel. +The ages of the four children in the +photographs are the same, but their sexes have +changed. + +[MARY reading. Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, mum, +which is, properly speaking, not a gentleman +at all, but 'e would come in, mum. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza, +whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +'E would come in, mum. + +MARY + +But what does he want? + +LIZA [over shoulder] + +What does you want? + +JOHN [entering] + +I am a beggar. + +MARY + +O, really? You've no right to be coming +into houses like this, you know. + +JOHN + +I know that, madam, I know that. Yet +somehow I couldn't help myself. I've been +begging for nearly three years now, and I've +never done this before, yet somehow to-night +I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg +your pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to +it. + +MARY + +Hunger? + + +JOHN + +I'm very hungry, madam. + +MARY + +Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet +returned, or perhaps he might... + +JOHN + +If you could give me a little to eat +yourself, madam, a bit of stale bread, a crust, +something that Mr. Cater would not want. + +MARY + +It's very unusual, coming into a house like +this and at such an hour--it's past eleven +o'clock--and Mr. Cater not yet returned. +Are you really hungry? + +JOHN + +I'm very, very hungry. + +MARY + +Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I +might get you a little something. + +[She picks up an empty plate from the +supper table.] + +JOHN + +Madam, I do not know how to thank you. + +MARY + +O, don't mention it. + +JOHN + +I have not met such kindness for three +years. I... I'm starving. I've known +better times. + +MARY [kindly] + +I'll get you something. You've known +better times, you say? + +JOHN + +I had been intended for work in the City. +And then, then I travelled, and--and I got +very much taken with foreign countries, and +I thought--but it all went to pieces. I lost +everything. Here I am, starving. + +MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who +had lost her gloves] + +O, I'm so sorry. + +[JOHN sighs deeply.] + +MARY + +I'll get a nice bit of something to eat. + +JOHN + +A thousand thanks to you, madam. + +[Exit MARY with the plate.] + +LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the +time] + +Well, she's going to get you something. + +JOHN + +Heaven reward her. + +LIZA + +Hungry as all that? + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. + +LIZA + +Cheer up! + +JOHN + +That's all very well to say, living in a fine +house, as you are, dry and warm and well-fed. +But what have I to cheer up about? + +LIZA + +Isn't there anything you could pop? + +JOHN + +What? + +LIZA + +Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop? +I've tided over times I wanted a bit of cash +that way sometimes. + +JOHN + +What could I pawn? + +LIZA + +Well, well you've a watch-chain. + +JOHN + +A bit of old leather. + +LIZA + +But what about the watch? + +JOHN + +I've no watch. + +LIZA + +O, funny having a watch-chain then. + +JOHN + +O, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal. + +LIZA + +Funny bit of a thing. What's it for? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Was it give to you? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't know how I got it. + +LIZA + +Don't know how you got it? + +JOHN + +No, I can't remember at all. But I've a +feeling about it, I can't explain what I feel; +but I don't part with it. + +LIZA + +Don't you? You might get something on +it, likely and have a square meal. + +JOHN + +I won't part with it. + +LIZA + +Why? + +JOHN + +I feel I won't. I never have. + +LIZA + +Feel you won't? + +JOHN + +Yes, I have that feeling very strongly. +I've kept it always. Everything else is gone. + +LIZA + +Had it long? + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had +it one morning in a train. It's odd that I +can't remember. + +LIZA + +But wot d'yer keep it for? + +JOHN + +Just for luck. + +[LIZA breaks into laughter.] + +LIZA + +Well, you are funny. + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is funny. + +LIZA + +You're as down in your luck as ever you +can be, and you go keeping a thing like that +for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier. + +JOHN + +Well, what would you do? + +LIZA + +Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and +I had rotten luck. Rotten luck I had. +Rotten. + +JOHN + +And what did you do? + +LIZA + +Took it back to the shop. + +JOHN + +Yes? + +LIZA + +They was quite obliging about it. Gave +me a wooden one instead, what was +guaranteed. Luck changed very soon altogether. + +JOHN + +Could luck like mine change? + +LIZA + +Course it could. + +JOHN + +Look at me. + +LIZA + +You'll be all right one of these days. Give +me that mascot. + +JOHN + +I--I hardly like to. One has an awfully +strong feeling with it. + +LIZA + +Give it to me. It's no good. + +JOHN + +I--I don't like to. + +LIZA + +You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing +you no good. I know all about them mascots. +Give it me. + +JOHN + +Well, I'll give it you. You're the +first woman that's been kind to me since +... I'm on my beam ends. + +[Face in hands--tears.] + +LIZA + +There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am. +These mascots! One's better without 'em. +Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a +nice supper coming. + +[She puts it in a corner of the +mantelpiece and hammers it. It smashes. + +The photographs of the four children +change slightly. The Colonel gives place +to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red. +JOHN's clothes become neat and tidy. The +hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather +duster. Nothing else changes.] + +A VOICE [off, in agony] + +Allah! Allah! Allah! + +LIZA + +Some foreign gentleman must have hurt +himself. + +JOHN + +H'm. Sounds like it... Liza. + +[LIZA, dusting the photographs on the +wall, just behind the corner of the +mantelpiece.] + +LIZA + +Funny. Thought I--thought I 'ad a +hammer in my hand. + +JOHN + +Really, Liza, I often think you have. You +really should be more careful. Only--only +yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's +photograph. + +LIZA + +Thought it was a hammer. + +JOHN + +Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a +mistake you make too often, Liza. You--you +must be more careful. + +LIZA + +Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad +an 'ammer in my 'and, though. + +[She goes to tidy the little supper table. +Enter MARY with food on a plate.] + +MARY + +I've brought you your supper, John. + +JOHN + +Thanks, Mary. I--I think I must have +taken a nap. + +MARY + +Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along +to bed now, Liza. Good gracious, it's +half-past eleven. + +[MARY makes final arrangements of +supper table.] + +LIZA + +Thank you, mum. + +[Exit ] + +JOHN + +Mary. + +MARY + +Yes, John. + +JOHN + +I--I thought I'd caught that train. + +Curtain + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of If, by +Lord Dunsany [Dunsany, Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron] + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IF *** + +***** This file should be named 1311.txt or 1311.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/1/1311/ + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +If + +by Lord Dunsany [Edward John Plunkett] + + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + +JOHN BEAL +MARY BEAL +LIZA +ALI +BERT, BILL: two railway porters +THE MAN IN THE CORNER +MIRALDA CLEMENT +HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN +DAOUD +ARCHIE BEAL +BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers +BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass +ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers +OMAR, a singer +ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz +THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc. + + + + +IF + + + +ACT I + +SCENE I + +A small railway station near London. +Time: Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why? What's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + + +BERT + +Why, wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was dangerous. +Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why. The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the com- +pany. They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and +I'll... + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule. And they'll 'ave to abide by it. + +BERT + +Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if... + +BILL + +I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me +on the mat again and talk all that stuff to +me. No, if someone 'as to suffer . . . +'Ere she is. + +[Noise of approaching train heard.] + +BERT + +Ay, that's her. + +BILL + +And shut goes the door. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BERT + +Wait a moment, Bill. + +BILL + +Not if he's . . . Not if he was ever so. + +JOHN [preparing to pass] + +Good morning. . . . + +BILL + +Can't come through. Too late. + +JOHN + +Too late? Why, the train's only just in. + +BILL + +Don't care. It's the rule. + +JOHN + +0, nonsense. [He carries on.] + +BILL + +It's too late. I tell you you can't come. + +JOHN + +But that's absurd. I want to catch my +train. + +BILL + +It's too late. + +BERT + +Let him go, Bill. + +BILL + +I'm blowed if I let him go. + +JOHN + +I want to catch my train. + +[JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed +back by the face. JOHN advances towards +BILL looking like fighting. The train has +gone.] + +BILL + +Only doing my duty. + +[JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding +it isn't good enough. He shrugs his +shoulders, turns round and goes away.] + +JOHN + +I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even +with you one of these days, you . . . . . and +some way you won't expect. + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +Yesterday evening. + +[Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in +their suburban home.] + +JOHN + +I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to +plant an acacia? + +MARY + +An acacia, what's that, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's one of those trees that they have. + +MARY + +But why, John? + +JOHN + +Well, you see the house is called The Aca- +cias, and it seems rather silly not to have at +least one. + +MARY + +O, I don't think that matters. Lots of +places are called lots of things. Everyone +does. + +JOHN +Yes, but it might help the postman. + +MARY + +O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't +know an acacia if he saw it any more than I +should. + +JOHN + +Quite right, Mary, you're always right. +What a clever head you've got! + +MARY + +Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if +you like. 1'11 ask about it at the grocer's. + +JOHN + +You can't get one there. + +MARY + +No, but he's sure to know where it can be +got. + +JOHN + +Where do they grow, Mary? + +MARY + +I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, +somewhere. + +JOHN + +Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish +I could have gone abroad for a week or so to +places like where acacias grow naturally. + +MARY + +0, would you really, John? + +JOHN + +No, not really. But I just think of it +sometimes. + +MARY + +Where would you have gone? + +JOHN + +0, I don't know. The East or some such +place. I've often heard people speak of it, +and somehow it seemed so. . . + +MARY + +The East, John? Not the East. I don't +think the East somehow is quite respectable. + +JOHN + +O well, it's all right, I never went, and +never shall go now. It doesn't matter. + +MARY [the photographs catching her eye] + +O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dread- +ful thing happened. + +JOHN + +What, Mary? + +MARY + +Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, +and when she came to Jane's she says she +hadn't really begun to dust it, only looked at +it, and it fell down, and that bit of glass is +broken right out of it. + +JOHN + +Ask her not to look at it so hard another +time. + +MARY + +0, what do you mean, John? + +JOHN + +Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, +and as I know you believe in Liza . . . + +MARY + +Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. But she mustn't look +so hard another time. + +MARY + +And it's poor little Jane's photograph. +She will feel it so. + +JOHN + +0, that's all right, we'll get it mended. + +MARY + +Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. + +JOHN + +We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy +about it she can have Alice's frame. Alice +is too young to notice it. + +MARY + +She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. + +Well, George, then. + +JOHN + +MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] + +Well, perhaps George might give up his +frame. + +JOHN + +Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make +her do it now? + +MARY + +Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. +She shall do it to-morrow by the time you get +back from the office. + +JOHN + +All right. It might have been worse. + +MARY + +It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. + +JOHN + +It might have been worse. It might have +been Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'd sooner it had been her than poor little +Jane. + +JOHN + +If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph +she'd have walked in next day and seen it for +certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd +have been trouble. + +MARY + +But, John, how could she have known? + +JOHN + +I don't know, but she would have; it's a +kind of devilish sense she has. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +What's the matter? + +MARY + +John! What a dreadful word you used. +And on a Sunday too! Really! + +JOHN + +0, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. +I'm very sorry. + +[Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which +isn't, properly speaking, a gentleman at all. +Not what I should call one, that is, like. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! +Whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +He's black. + +MARY + +Black? + +JOHN [reassuring] + +O . . . yes, that would be Ali. A queer +old customer, Mary; perfectly harmless. Our +firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; +and then one day . . . + +MARY + +But what is he doing here, John? + +JOHN + +Well, one day he turned up in London; +broke, he said; and wanted the firm to give +him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for +giving him ten shillings. But I said "here's +a man that's helped us in making thousands +of pounds. Let's give him fifty." + +MARY + +Fifty pounds! + +JOHN + +Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. +Ten shillings would have been an insult to +the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. +You don't know what he'd have done. + +MARY + +Well, he doesn't want more? + +TOHN + +No, I expect he's come to thank me. He +seemed pretty keen on getting some cash. +Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was +doing in London. Never can tell with these +fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it. + +MARY + +How did he trace you here? + +JOHN + +0, got the address at the office. Briggs +and Cater won't let theirs be known. Not +got such a smart little house, I expect. + +MARY + +I don't like letting people in that you don't +know where they come from. + +JOHN + +0, he comes from the East. + +MARY + +Yes, I--I know. But the East doesn't seem +quite to count, somehow, as the proper sort of +place to come from, does it, dear? + +JOHN + +No. + +MARY + +It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some +place you can put your finger on. + +JOHN + +Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's +any harm in him. + +MARY + +Well, just for once. But we can't make a +practice of it. And you don't want to be +thinking of business on a Sunday, your only +day off. + +JOHN + +0, it isn't business, you know. He only +wants to say thank you. + +MARY + +I hope he won't say it in some queer +Eastern way. You don't know what these +people. . . . + +JOHN + +0, no. Show him up, Liza. + +LIZA + +As you like, mum. +[Exit.] + +MARY + +And you gave him fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose +that's what he got. Cater paid him. + +MARY + +It seems a lot of money. But I think, as +the man is actually coming up the stairs, +I'm glad he's got something to be grateful +for. + +[Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] + +ALI + +Protector of the Just. + +JOHN + +0, er--yes. Good evening. + +ALI + +My soul was parched and you bathed it +in rivers of gold. + +JOHN + +O, ah, yes. + +ALI + +Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal +shall be magnified and called blessed. + +JOHN + +Ha, yes. Very good of you. + +ALI [advancing, handing trinket] + +Protector of the Just, my offering. + +JOHN + +Your offering? + +ALI + +Hush. It is beyond price. I am not +bidden to sell it. I was in my extremity, but +I was not bidden to sell it. It is a token of +gratitude, a gift, as it came to me. + +JOHN + +AS it came to you? + + +ALI + +Yes, it was given me. + +JOHN + +I see. Then you had given somebody what +you call rivers of gold? + +ALI + +Not gold; it was in Sahara. + +JOHN + +0, and what do you give in the Sahara +instead of gold? + +ALI + +Water. + +JOHN + +I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +And--and what happened? + +MARY + +I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. +It's a nice little thing, but [to ALI], but you +think a lot of it, don't you? + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +But look here, what does it do? + +ALI + +Much. + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +ALI + +He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, +at night, and wishes, saying "At a certain +hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will +go back eight, ten, even twelve years if he +will, into the past, and do a thing again, or +act otherwise than he did. The day passes; +the ten years are accomplished once again; he +is here once more; but he is what he might +have become had he done that one thing +otherwise. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +I--I don't understand. + +ALI + +To-night you wish. All to-morrow you +live the last ten years; a new way, master, a +new way, how you please. To-morrow night +you are here, what those years have made you. + +JOHN + +By Jove! + +MARY + +Have nothing to do with it, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, +do you mean one could go back ten years? + + +ALI + +Even so. + + +JOHN + +Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word +for it. But look here, you can't live ten years +in a day, you know. + +ALI + +My master has power over time. + +MARY + +John, don't have anything to do with him. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. But who is your master? + +ALI + +He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in +the greenest mountains. The years are his +dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard +it safely, for his power is in this more than +in all the peaks of his native hills. See what +I give you, master. + +JOHN + +Well, really, it's very good of you. + +MARY + +Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much +obliged for your kind offer, which we are so +sorry we can't avail ourselves of. + +JOHN + +One moment, Mary. Do you mean that +I can go back ten years, and live till--till now +again, and only be away a day? + +ALI + +Start early and you will be here before +midnight. + +JOHN + +Would eight o'clock do! + +ALI + +You could be back by eleven that evening. + +JOHN + +I don't quite see how ten years could go +in a single day. + +ALI + +They will go as dreams go. +| +JOHN + +Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't +it? + +ALI + +Time is the slave of my master + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm +only trying to see what he'll say. + +MARY + +All right, John, only . . . + +ALI + +Is there no step that you would wish un- +trodden, nor stride that you would make +where once you faltered? + +JOHN + +I say, why don't you use it yourself? + +ALI + +I? I am afraid of the past. But you +Engleesh, and the great firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Beal; you are afraid of nothing. + +JOHN + +Ha, ha. Well--I wouldn't go quite as far +as that, but--well, give me the crystal. + +MARY + +Don't take it, John! Don't take it. + +JOHN + +Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. + +MARY +If it can do all that--if it can do all that . . . + +JOHN + +Well? + +MARY + +Why, you might never have met me. + +JOHN + +Never have met you? I never thought of +that. + +MARY + +Leave the past alone, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I +want to hear about it, it's so odd, it's so +what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I +ever----- [To ALI.] You mean if I work +hard for ten years, which will only be all +to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank +of England to-morrow night. + +ALI + +Even so. + +MARY + +0, don't do it, John. + +JOHN + +But you said--I'll be back here before +midnight to-morrow. + +ALI + +It is so. + +JOHN + +But the Governor of the Bank of England +would live in the City, and he'd have a much +bigger house anyway. He wouldn't live in +Lewisham. + +ALI + +The crystal will bring you to this house +when the hour is accomplished, even to- +morrow night. If you be the great banker +you will perhaps come to chastise one of your +slaves who will dwell in this house. If you +be head of Briggs and Cater you will come to +give an edict to one of your firm. Perchance +this street will be yours and you will come to +show your power unto it. But you will come. + +JOHN + +And if the house is not mine? + +MARY + +John! John! Don't. + +ALI + +Still you will come. + +JOHN + +Shall I remember? + +ALI + +No. + +JOHN + +If I want to do anything different to what +I did, how shall I remember when I get back +there? + +MARY + +Don't. Don't do anything different, John. + +JOHN + +All right. + +ALI + +Choose just before the hour of the step +you desire to change. Memory lingers a little +at first, and fades away slowly. + +JOHN + +Five minutes? + +ALI + +Even ten. + +JOHN + +Then I can change one thing. After that I +forget. + +ALI + +Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. + +JOHN + +Well, it's very good of you to make me this +nice present, I'm sure. + +ALI + +Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart +impels. So shall it come back one day to the +hills that are brighter than grass, made richer +by the gratitude of many men. And my +master shall smile thereat and the vale shall +be glad. + +JOHN + +It's very good of you, I'm sure. + +MARY + +I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering +with what's gone. + +ALI + +My master's power is in your hands. +Farewell. + +[Exit.] + +JOHN + +I say, he's gone. + +MARY + +O, he's a dreadful man. + +JOHN + +I never really meant to take it. + +MARY + +0, John, I wish you hadn't + +JOHN + +Why? I'm not going to use it. + +MARY + +Not going to use it, John? + +JOHN + +No, no. Not if you don't want me to. + +MARY + +O, I'm so glad. + +JOHN + +And besides, I don't want things different. +I've got fond of this little house. And Briggs +is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit +of an ass, but there's no harm in him. In +fact, I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even +change Aunt Martha now. + +[Points at frowning framed photograph +centrally hung.] + +You remember when she first came and +you said "Where shall we hang her?" I said +the cellar. You said we couldn't. So she had +to go there. But I wouldn't change her now. +I suppose there are old watch-dogs like her in +every family. I wouldn't change anything. + +MARY + +0, John, wouldn't you really? + +JOHN + +No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I +wouldn't even change Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. +I couldn't bear to tamper with the past. +You don't know what it is, it's what's gone. +But if it really isn't gone at all, if it can be dug +up like that, why you don't know what +mightn't happen! I don't mind the future, +but if the past can come back like that.... +O, don't, don't, John. Don't think of it. +It isn't canny. There's the children, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little +ornament. I won't use it. And I tell you +I'm content. [Happily] It's no use to me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you +really? Is there nothing that you'd have had +different? I sometimes thought you'd rather +that Jane had been a boy. + +JOHN + +Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the +time, but Arthur's good enough for me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever +regret at all? + +JOHN + +Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you +regret, Mary? + +MARY + +Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would +have been better green, but you would have +it red. + +JOHN + +Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I +regret. + +MARY + +I don't suppose there's many men can say +that. + +JOHN + +No, I don't suppose they can. They're +not all married to you. I don't suppose +many of them can. + +[MARY smiles.] + +MARY + +I should think that very few could say +that they regretted nothing . . . very few +in the whole world. + +JOHN + +Well, I won't say nothing. + +MARY + +What is it you regret, John? + +JOHN + +Well, there is one thing. + +MARY + +And what is that? + +JOHN + +One thing has rankled a bit. + +MARY + +Yes, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth mention- +ing. But it rankled for years. + +What was it, John? + +MARY + +JOHN + +O, it seems silly to mention it. It was +nothing. + +MARY + +But what? + +JOHN + +O, well, if you want to know, it was once +when I missed a train. I don't mind missing +a train, but it was the way the porter pushed +me out of the way. He pushed me by the +face. I couldn't hit back, because, well, you +know what lawyers make of it; I might have +been ruined. So it just rankled. It was years +ago before we married. + +MARY +Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! + +JOHN + +Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in +spite of him. I sometimes think of it still. +Silly of me, isn't it? + +MARY + +What a brute of a man. + +JOHN + +0, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. +But it rankled. + +MARY + +He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd +no right to touch you! + +JOHN + +0, well, never mind. + +MARY + +I should like to have been there. . . +I'd have . . . + +JOHN + +0, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd +like to have caught it in sp . . . +[An idea seizes him.] + +MARY + +What is it? + +JOHN + +Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing +that can be helped. + +MARY + +Can be helped, John? Whatever do you +mean? + +JOHN + +I mean he'd no right to stop me catching +that train. I've got the crystal, and I'll +catch it yet! + +MARY + +0, John, that's what you said you wouldn't +do. + +JOHN + +No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. +And I won't. I'm too content, Mary. But +this can't alter it. This is nothing. + +MARY + +What were you going to catch the train +for, John? + +JOHN + +For London. I wasn't at the office then. +It was a business appointment. There was a +man who had promised to get me a job, and +I was going up to . . . + +MARY + +John, it may alter your whole life! + +JOHN + +Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never +turned up. I got a letter from him apologis- +ing to me before I posted mine to him. It +turned out he never meant to help me, mere +meaningless affabilities. He never came to +London that day at all. I should have taken +the next train back. That can't affect the +future. + +MARY + +N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. + +JOHN + +What difference could it make? + +MARY + +N-n-no. + +JOHN + +Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's +wedding. I take it one has to go to one's +brother's wedding. It would take a pretty +big change to alter that. And. you were her +bridesmaid. We were bound to meet. And +having once met, well, there you are. If we'd +met by chance, in a train, or anything like +that, well, then I admit some little change +might alter it. But when wee met at ARCHIE's +wedding and you were her bridesmaid, why, +Mary, it's a cert. Besides, I believe in pre- +destination. It was our fate; we couldn't +have missed it. + +MARY +No, I suppose not; still . . + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +MARY + +I don't like it. + +JOHN + +0, Mary, I have so longed to catch that +infernal train. Just think of it, annoyed on +and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen. + +MARY + +I'd rather you didn't, John. + +JOHN + +But why? + +MARY + +O, John, suppose there's a railway acci- +dent? You might be killed, and we should +never meet. + +JOHN + +There wasn't. + +MARY +There wasn't, John? What do you mean? + +JOHN + +There wasn't an accident to the eight-fif- +teen. It got safely to London just ten years ago. + +MARY + +Why, nor there was. + +JOHN + +You see how groundless your fears are. +I shall catch that train, and all the rest will +happen the same as before. Just think +Mary, all those old days again. I wish I +could take you with me. But you soon will +be. But just think of the old days coming +back again. Hampton Court again and Kew, +and Richmond Park again with all the May. +And that bun you bought, and the corked +ginger-beer, and those birds singing and the +'bus past Isleworth. O, Mary, you wouldn't +grudge me that? + +MARY + +Well, well then all right, John. + +JOHN + +And you will remember there wasn't an +accident, won't you? + +MARY [resignedly, sadly] + +O, yes, John. And you won't try to get +rich or do anything silly, will you? + +JOHN + +No, Mary. I only want to catch that +train. I'm content with the rest. The same +things must happen, and they must lead me +the same way, to you, Mary. Good night, +now, dear. + +MARY + +Good night? + +JOHN + +I shall stay here on the sofa holding the +crystal and thinking. Then I'll have a bis- +cuit and start at seven. + +MARY + +Thinking, John? What about? + +JOHN + +Getting it clear in my mind what I want +to do. That one thing and the rest the same. +There must be no mistakes. + +MARY [sadly] + +Good night, John. + +JOHN + +Have supper ready at eleven. + +MARY + +Very well, John. +[Exit.] + +JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] + +I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. + +[He takes the crystal and closes it up in +the palm of his left hand.] + +I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and +a day, at, at--8.IO a.m. to-morrow; 8.IO a.m. +to-morrow, 8.IO. + +[Re-enter MARY in doorway.] + +MARY + +John! John! You are sure he did get +his fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the +money? + +MARY + +You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? + +JOHN + +Cater paid him, I didn't. + +MARY + +Are you sure that Cater didn't give him +ten shillings? + +JOHN + +It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have +done! + +MARY + +O, John! + +JOHN + +Hmm. + + +Curtain + + + +SCENE 3 + +Scene: As in Act I, Scene I. +Time. Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why, what's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up, then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I ! Proper. + +BERT + +Why? Wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was danger- +ous. Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT? + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why? The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the com- +pany. They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and I'll. . . + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule, and they'll have to abide by it. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BILL [touching his hat] +Good morning, sir. + +[JOHN does not answer, but walks to the +door between them.] + +Carry your bag, sir? + +JOHN + +Go to hell! + +[Exit through door.] + +BILL + +Ullo. + +BERT + +Somebody's been getting at 'im. + +BILL + +Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young +feller. + +BERT + +Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule? + +BILL + +Never knew 'im like this. + +BERT + +You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave +yer? + +BILL + +Never in my life. + +BERT + +Well, I never. + +BILL + +'Ad some trouble o' some kind. + +BERT + +Must 'ave. + +[Train is heard.] + +BILL + +Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying . . . + +Curtain + +SCENE 4 + +In a second-class railway carriage. + +Time: Same morning as Scene I, Act I. + +Noise, and a scene drawn past the +windows. The scene, showing a momen- +tary glimpse of fair English hills, is al- +most entirely placards, "GIVE HER +BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," alter- +nately, for ever. + +Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man. + +All sit in stoical silence like the two +images near Luxor. The man has the +window seat, and therefore the right of +control over the window. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having the window open? + +THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his +shoulders in a shivery way] + +Er--certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. +He opens the window.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Thank you so much. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict +her. Stoical silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having it shut now? I +think it is rather cold. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Certainly. + +[He shuts it. Silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +I think I'd like the window open again now +for a bit. It is rather stuffy, isn't it? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Well, I think it's very cold. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +0, do you? But would you mind opening +it for me? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't +mind. + +[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and +her pretty face expresses the resignation of +the Christian martyr in the presence of +lions. This for the benefit of John.] + +JOHN + +Allow me, madam. + +[He leans across the window's rightful +owner, a bigger man than he, and opens his +window. + +MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoul- +ders and, quite sensibly, turns to his paper.] + +MIRALDA + +0, thank you so much. + +JOHN + +Don't mention it. + +[Silence again.] + +VOICES OF PORTERS [Off] + +Fan Kar, Fan Kar. + +[MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.] + +MIRALDA + +Could you tell me where this is? + +JOHN + +Yes. Elephant and Castle. + +MIRALDA + +Thank you so much. It was kind of you to +protect me from that horrid man. He wanted +to suffocate me. + +JOHN + +O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very +glad. + +MIRALDA + +I should have been afraid to have done it in +spite of him. It was splendid of you. + +JOHN + +O, that was nothing. + +MIRALDA + +O, it was, really. + +JOHN + +Only too glad to help you in any little way. + +MIRALDA + +It was so kind of you. + +JOHN + +O, not at all. + +[Silence for a bit.] + +MIRALDA + +I've nobody to help me. + +JOHN + +Er, er, haven't you really? + +MIRALDA + +No, nobody. + +JOHN + +I'd be very glad to help you in any little +way. + +MIRALDA + +I wonder if you could advise me. + +JOHN + +I--I'd do my best. + +MIRALDA + +You see, I have nobody to advise me. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. + +MIRALDA + +I live with my aunt, and she doesn't under- +stand. I've no father or mother. + +JOHN + +O, er, er, really? + +MIRALDA + +No. And an uncle died and he left me a +hundred thousand pounds. + +JOHN + +Really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it +out of contrariness as much as anything. +He was always like that to me. + +JOHN + +Was he? Was he really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per +cent. He never liked me. Thought I was +too--I don't know what. + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +That was five years ago, and I've never got +a penny of it. + +JOHN + +Really. But, but that's not right. + +MIRALDA [sadly] + +No. + +JOHN + +Where's it invested? + +MIRALDA + +In Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Where's that? + +MIRALDA + +I don't quite know. I never was good at +geography. I never quite knew where Persia +ends. + +JOHN + +And what kind of an investment was it? + +MIRALDA + +There's a pass in some mountains that they +can get camels over, and a huge toll is levied +on everything that goes by; that is the custom +of the tribe that lives there, and I believe +the toll is regularly collected. + +JOHN + +And who gets it? + +MIRALDA + +The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben +Hussein. But my uncle lent him all this +money, and the toll on the camels was what +they call the security. They always carry +gold and turquoise, you know. + +JOHN + +Do they? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, they get it from the rivers. + +JOHN + +I see. + +MIRALDA + +It does seem a shame his not paying, +doesn't it? + +JOHN + +A shame? I should think it is. An awful +shame. Why, it's a crying shame. He ought +to go to prison. + +MIRALDA + +Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard +to find him. It isn't as if it was this side of +Persia. It's being on the other side that is +such a pity. If only it was in a country like, +like . . . + +JOHN + +I'd soon find him. I'd . . . Why, a man +like that deserves anything. + +MIRALDA + +It is good of you to say that. + +JOHN + +Why, I'd . . . And you say you never +got a penny? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Well, that is a shame. I call that a down- +right shame. + +MIRALDA + +Now, what ought I to do? + +JOHN + +Do? Well, now, you know in business +there's nothing like being on the spot. When +you're on the spot you can--but then, of +course, it's so far. + +MIRALDA + +It is, isn't it? + +JOHN + +Still, I think you should go if you could. +If only I could offer to help you in any way, +I would gladly, but of course . . . + +MIRALDA + +What would you do? + +JOHN + +I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and +then . . . + +MIRALDA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and +make him see that you didn't keep all that +money that belonged to someone else. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? + +JOHN + +Nothing would please me better. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? Would you go all that +way? + +JOHN + +It's just the sort of thing that I should like, +apart from the crying shame. The man +ought to be . . . + +MIRALDA + +We're getting into Holborn. Would you +come and lunch somewhere with me and talk +it over? + +JOHN + +Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to +see a man on business first. I've come up to +see him. And then after that, after that +there was something I wanted to do after that. +I can't think what it was. But something I +wanted to do after that. O, heavens, what +was it? + +[Pause.] + +MIRALDA + +Can't you think? + +JOHN + +No. O, well, it can't have been so very +important. And yet . . . Well, where shall +we lunch? + +MIRALDA + +Gratzenheim's. + +JOHN + +Right. What time? + +MIRALDA + +One-thirty. Would that suit? + +JOHN + +Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like Hus- +sein in prison. I'd like . . . O, I beg your +pardon. + +[He hurries to open the door. Exit +MIRALDA.] + +Now what was it I wanted to do after- +wards? + +[Throws hand to forehead.] +O, never mind. + +Curtain + + +ACT II + +SCENE + +JOHN'S tent in Al Shaldomir. There +are two heaps of idols, left and right, lying +upon the ground inside the tent. DAOUD +carries another idol in his arms. JOHN +looks at its face. + +Six months have elapsed since the scene +in the second-class railway carriage. + +JOHN BEAL + +This god is holy. + +[He points to the left heap. DAOUD +carries it there and lays it on the heap.] + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You are in no wise to call me great master. +Have not I said so? I am not your master. +I am helping you people. I know better than +you what you ought to do, because I am Eng- +lish. But that's all. I'm not your master, +See? + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +0, go and get some more idols. Hurry. + +DAOUD + +Great master, I go. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't make these people out. + +DAOUD [returning] + +I have three gods. + +JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to +the two smaller idols first] +These two are holy. This one is unholy. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Put them on the heap. + +[DAOUD does so, two left, one right.] + +Get some more. + +[DAOUD salaams. Exit.] + +[Looking at right heap.] What a--what a +filthy people + +[Enter DAOUD with two idols.] + +JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny] + +This god is holy, this is unholy. + +[Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bow- +ler" hat.] + +Why, ARCHIE, this is splendid of you! +You've come! Why, that's splendid! All +that way! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's grand of you to come! I never +ought to have asked it of you, only . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +0, that's all right. But what in the world +are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's splendid of you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all +this? + +JOHN BEAL + +0, this. Well, well they're the very oddest +people here. It's a long story. But I wanted +to tell you first how enormously grateful I +am to you for coming. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +0, that's all right. But I want to know +what you're doing with all these genuine +antiques. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, ARCHIE, the fact of it is they're a real +odd lot of people here. I've learnt their lan- +guage, more or less, but I don't think I quite +understand them yet. A lot of them are +Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed, +you know. He's dead. But a lot of them +worship these things, and . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what have you got 'em all in here +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with +them, but, well, I simply had to. You see +there's two sorts of idols here; they offer +fruit and rats to some of them; they lay them +on their hands or their laps. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why do they offer them rats? + +JOHN BEAL + +0, I don't know. They don't know either. +It's the right thing to do out here, it's been +the right thing for hundreds of years; nobody +exactly knows why. It's like the bows we +have on evening shoes, or anything else. +But it's all right. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are you putting them in heaps +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because there's the other kind, the ones +with wide mouths and rust round them. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they +do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They offer blood to them, ARCHIE. They +pour it down their throats. Sometimes they +kill people, sometimes they only bleed them. +It depends how much blood the idol wants. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +How much blood it wants? Good Lord! +How do they know? + +JOHN BEAL + +The priests tell them. Sometimes they +fill them up to their necks--they're all hollow, +you know. In spring it's awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why are they worse in spring? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know. The priests ask for more +blood then. Much more. They say it always +was so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're stopping it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm +letting them worship those. Of course, it's +idolatry and all that kind of thing, but I +don't like interfering short of actual murder. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And they're obeying you? + +JOHN BEAL + +'M, y-yes. I think so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You must have got a great hold over them. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know about that. It's the +pass that counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +The pass? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that place you came over. It's the +only way anyone can get here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass +affect these idols? + +JOHN BEAL + +It affects everything here. If that pass +were closed no living man would ever enter +or leave, or even hear of, this country. It's +absolutely cut off except for that one pass. +Why, ARCHIE, it isn't even on the map. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I know. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody. +No one else counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And who does own it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called +Hussein, but Miss Clement's uncle, a man +called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer, +seems to have come this way; and I think he +understood what this pass is worth. Any- +how, he lent Hussein a big sum of money and +got an acknowledgment from Hussein. Old +Hinnard must have been a wonderfully +shrewd man. For that acknowledgment is +no more legal than an I.O.U., and Hussein +is simply a brigand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Not very good security. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself +respects that piece of parchment he signed. +There's the name of some god or other written +on it Hussein is frightened of. Now you +see how things are. That pass is as holy as +all the gods that there are in Al Shaldomir. +Hussein possesses it. But he owes an enor- +mous sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am +here as her agent; and you've come to help +me like a great sportsman. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, never mind that. Well, it all seems +pretty simple. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, ARCHIE. Hussein +admits the debt, but . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what he'll do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Wants watching, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of re- +sponsible for all these silly people. Some- +body's got to look after them. Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Bring in some more gods. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't get them to stop calling me absurd +titles. They're so infernally Oriental. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's got two big ones this time. + +JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE] + +You see, there is rust about their mouths. +[To DAOUD]: They are both unholy. + +[He points to R. heap, and DAOUD +puts them there. To DAOUD.] + +Bring in some more. + +DAOUD + +Great master, there are no more gods in +Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN BEAL + +It is well. + +DAOUD + +What orders, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Listen. At night you shall come and take +these gods away. These shall be worshipped +again in their own place, these you shall cast +into the great river and tell no man where you +cast them. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will do this, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am sorry to make you do it. You are +sad that you have to do it. Yet it must be +done. + +DAOUD + +Yes, I am sad, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why are you sad, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Great master, in times you do not know +these gods were holy. In times you have not +guessed. In old centuries, master, perhaps +before the pass. Men have prayed to them, +sorrowed before them, given offerings to +them. The light of old hearths has shone on +them, flames from old battles. The shadow +of the mountains has fallen on them, so +many times, master, so many times. Dawn +and sunset have shone on them, master, like +firelight flickering; dawn and sunset, dawn +and sunset, flicker, flicker, flicker for century +after century. They have sat there watching +the dawns like old men by the fire. They are +so old, master, so old. And some day dawn +and sunset will die away and shine on the +world no more, and they would have still +sat on in the cold. And now they go. . . +They are our history, master, they are our old +times. Though they be bad times they are +our times, master; and now they go. I am +sad, master, when the old gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they are bad gods, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +I am sad when the bad gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +They must go, Daoud. See, there is no +one watching. Take them now. + +RESCAN 66-67 + + +sible. If Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't +know what he'd do, with all those idols and +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He'll give 'em a drink, you mean. + +JOHN BEAL + +Don't, ARCHIE. There's no saying. And I +feel responsible for you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, they can have my hat. It looks +silly, somehow. I don't know why. What +are we going to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, now that you've come we can go +ahead. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Righto. What at? + +JOHN BEAL + +We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and +get everything clear in black and white, and +see just what he owes to Miss Miralda +Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But they don't keep accounts here. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you know? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, of course they don't. One can see +that. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they must. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, you haven't changed a bit for your +six months here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Haven't changed? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. Just quietly thinking of business. +You'll be a great business man, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we must do business; that's what I +came here for. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You'll never make these people do it. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, what do you suggest? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Let's have a look at old Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's what I have been waiting for. +Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Master. [Enters.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass +and beat on the outer door. Say that I de- +sire to see him. Pray him to come to my +tent. + +[DAOUD bows and Exit.] + +[To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace +to ask Hussein to come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lives in a palace, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place. +It's bigger than the Mansion House, much. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're going to teach him to keep +accounts. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems +almost like being rude to the Lord Mayor. +But there's two things I can't stand--cheat- +ing in business is one and murder's another. +I've got to interfere. You see, if one happens +to know the right from wrong as we do, we've +simply got to tell people who don't. But +it isn't pleasant. I almost wish I'd never +come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, it's the greatest sport in the world. +It's splendid. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see it that way. To me those idols +are just horrid murder. And this man owes +money to this girl with no one to look after +her, and he's got to pay. But I hate being +rude to a man in a place like the Mansion +House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord, +who am I? It seems such cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is +she pretty? + +JOHN BEAL + +What, Miss Miralda? Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what I mean is--what's she like? + +JOHN BEAL + +Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say. +She's, she's tall and she's fair and she's got +blue eyes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is +she? How does she strike you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets +this money, and she hasn't got any job that's +any good, and no real prospects bar this, +and nobody particular by birth, and doesn't +know anybody who is, and lives in the least +fashionable suburb and can only just afford +a second-class fare and . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, yes, go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +And yet somehow she sort of seems like a-- +like a queen. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lord above us! And what kind of a queen? + +JOHN BEAL + +0, I don't know. Well, look here, ARCHIE, +it's only my impression. I don't know her +well yet. It's only my impression. I only +tell you in absolute confidence. You won't +pass it on to anybody, of course. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. Go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, only she seemed more +like well, a kind of autocrat, you know, +who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't +mean that, only . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +So you're not going to marry her? + +JOHN BEAL + +Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd +never dare ask her. She's not that sort. I +tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good +Lord!) she'd be a queen if it wasn't for Hus- +sein, or something very like one. We can't +go marrying queens. Anyhow, not one like +her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not one like her? + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you--she's a--well, a kind of goddess. +You couldn't ask her if she loved you. It +would be such, such . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Such what? + +JOHN BEAL + +Such infernal cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with +her. But it seems to me you'll be seeing a +good deal of her some day if we pull this off. +And then, my boy-o, you'll be going and +getting in love with her. + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to +the Queen of Sheba. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you +from her all I can. + +JOHN BEAL + +Protect me from her? Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because there's lots of other girls +and it seems to me you might be happier with +some of them. + +JOHN BEAL + +But you haven't even seen her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect +you I somehow think I will. And if I'm not +. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, and what then? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does +everything. I can't protect you. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but . . . + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike +Bluebeard.] + +JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] +My brother. + +[ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. +HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is +over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and +Hussein then bow to each other.] + +HUSSEIN + +You desired my presence. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am honoured. + +HUSSEIN + +And I. + +JOHN BEAL + +The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, +lent you one thousand greater gold pieces, +which in our money is one hundred thousand +pounds, as you acknowledge. [Hussein +nods his head.] And every year you were to +pay him for this two hundred and fifty of your +greater gold pieces--as you acknowledge also. + +HUSSEIN + +Even so. + +JOHN BEAL + +And this you have not yet had chance to +pay, but owe it still. + +HUSSEIN + +I do. + +JOHN BEAL + +And now Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with him. + +JOHN BEAL + +His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who +instructs me to be her agent. What have you +to say? + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +You acknowledge your debt to this lady, +Miss Miralda Clement? + +HUSSEIN + +I know her not. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will not pay your debt? + +HUSSEIN + +I will pay. + +JOHN BEAL + +If you bring the gold to my tent, my +brother will take it to Miss Clement. + +HUSSEIN + +I do not pay to Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +To whom do you pay? + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will you pay to Hinnard? + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried in the sea . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +He is not buried at sea. + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried by any river I go to the god +of rivers. + +JOHN BEAL + +He is buried on land near no river. + +HUSSEIN + +Therefore I will go to a bronze god of +earth, very holy, having the soil in his care +and the things of earth. I will take unto him +the greater pieces of gold due up to the year +when the white traveller died, and will melt +them in fire at his feet by night on the moun- +tains, saying, " O, Lruru-onn (this is his +name) take this by the way of earth to the +grave of Hinnard." And so I shall be free +of my debt before all gods. + +JOHN BEAL + +But not before me. I am English. And +we are greater than gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that, Johnny? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay, but I told him we're English +and that they're greater than all his bronze +gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's right, Johnny. + +[HUSSEIN looks fiercely at ARCHIE. +He sees ARCHIE'S hat lying before a big +idol. He points at the hat and looks in +the face of the idol.] + +HUSSEIN [to the idol] +Drink! Drink! + +[He bows. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that he's saying? + +JOHN BEAL [meditatively] +O, nothing--nothing. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He won't pay, oh? + +JOHN BEAL + +No, not to Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Who to? + +JOHN BEAL + +To one of his gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That won't do. + +JOHN BEAL + +No. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What'll we do? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in +England. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, it isn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +If we were in England . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I know; if we were in England you could +call a policeman. I tell you what it is, +Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I tell you what; you want to see more of +Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because at the present moment our +friend Hussein is a craftier fellow than you, +and looks like getting the best of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help +us? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because you want to be a bit craftier +than Hussein, and I fancy she might make +you. + +JOHN BEAL + +She? How? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're mostly made what we are by some +woman or other. We think it's our own +cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are +you're no match for Hussein, but if you +altered . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE; where did you get all those +ideas from? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +You never used to talk like that. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, well. + +JOHN BEAL + +You haven't been getting in love, ARCHIE, +have you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda. +I got a letter from her the same day I got +yours. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What does she say? + +JOHN BEAL + +I couldn't make it out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What were her words? + +JOHN BEAL + +She said she was going into it closer. She +underlined closer. What could she mean by +that? How could she get closer? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, the same way as I did. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you mean? I don't understand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +By coming here. + +JOHN BEAL + +By coming here? But she can't come here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because it's impossible. Absolutely im- +possible. Why--good Lord--she couldn't +come here. Why, she'd want a chaperon and +a house and--and--everything. Good Lord, +she couldn't come here. It would be--well +it would be impossible--it couldn't be done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +0, all right. Then I don't know what she +meant. + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE! You don't really think she'd come +here? You don't really think it, do you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of +girl might do, but of course I can't say . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Good Lord, ARCHIE! That would be awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? But what would I do? Where +would she go? Where would her chaperon +go? The chaperon would be some elderly +lady. Why, it would kill her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, if it did you've never met her, so vou +needn't go into mourning for an elderly lady +that you don't know; not yet, anyway. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, of course not. You're laughing at me, +ARCHIE. But for the moment I took you +seriously. Of course, she won't come. One +can go into a thing closely without doing it +absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't +it be an awful situation if she did. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +All alone with me here? No, impossible. +And the country isn't civilised. + +ARCHIE BEAL. + +Women aren't civilised. + +JOHN BEAL + +Women aren't . . .? Good Lord, ARCHIE, +what an awful remark. What do you mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're tame, they're wild. We like all the +dull things and the quiet things, they like +all the romantic things and the dangerous +things. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE, it's just the other way about. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and +all the dangerous things. But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? Because we like them, I suppose. +I can't think of any other reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I hate danger. Don't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--well, yes, I suppose I do, really. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course you do. We all do. It's the +women that put us up to it. She's putting +you up to this. And the more she puts you +up to the more likely is Hussein to get it in his +fat neck. + +JOHN BEAL + +But--but you don't mean you'd hurt +Hussein? Not--not badly, I mean. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're under her orders, Johnny. See what +she says. + +JOHN BEAL + +You, you don't really think she'll come +here? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course I do, and the best thing too. +It's her show; she ought to come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but you don't understand. She's +just a young girl, A girl like Miss Miralda +couldn't come out here over the pass and +down these mountains, she'd never stand it, +and as for the chaperon . . . You've +never met Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to +get you to go from Bromley to this place can +look after herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see what that's got to do with it. +She was in trouble and I had to help her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way +here from Blackheath, and everyone will have +to help her. + +JOHN BEAL + +What beats me is how you can have the +very faintest inkling of what she's like with- +out ever having seen her and without my +having spoken of her to you for more than a +minute. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird, +you're not a traveller by nature, barring your +one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took +you there. And contrariwise, as they say in +a book you've never read, you're a level- +headed business man and a hardworking +respectable stay-at-home. You meet a girl +in a train, and the next time I see you you're +in a place that isn't marked on the map and +telling it what gods it ought to worship and +what gods it ought to have agnosticism about. +Well, I say some girl. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must say you make the most extra- +ordinary deductions, but it was awfully good +of you to come, and I ought to be grateful; +and I am, too, I'm awfully grateful; and I +ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go +ahead. You shall say what you like and do +what you like. It isn't many brothers that +would do what you've done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's nothing. I like this country. +I'm glad I came. And if I can help you with +Hussein, why all the better. + +JOHN BEAL + +It's an awful country, Archie, but we've +got to see this through. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Does she know all about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, everything. I've written fully. + +OMAR [Off] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways . . . + +JOHN BEAL [shouting| + +O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said +it was an awful country. They sit down out- +side one's tent and do that kind of thing for +no earthly reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I'd let them sing. + +JOHN BEAL + +0, you can't have people doing that kind of +thing. + +OMAR [in doorway] + +Master, I go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why do you come? + +OMAR + +I came to sing a joyous song to you, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why did you want to sing me a joyous +song? + +OMAR + +Because a lady is riding out of the West. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +A lady out of . . . Good Lord! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's coming, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said +a lady; there'd be the chaperon too. There'd +be two of them if it was Miss Miralda. But +he said a lady. One lady. It can't be her. +A girl like that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean +off the map. Oh, no, it isn't possible. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I wouldn't worry. + +JOHN BEAL + +Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the +situation's impossible. People would talk. +Don't you see what people would say? And +where could they go? Who would look after +them? Do try and understand how awful +it is. But it isn't. It's impossible. It can't +be them. For heaven's sake run out and see +if it is; and (good Lord!) I haven't brushed +my hair all day, and, and--oh, look at me. + +[He rushes to camp mirror. Exit +ARCHIE. + +JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately. + +Enter ARCHIE.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +It's what you call THEM. + +JOHN BEAL + +What I call THEM? Whatever do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's her. She's just like what you said. + +JOHN BEAL + +But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can +never have been able to afford a horse. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's on a camel. She'll be here in a mo- +ment. [He goes to door.] Hurry up with that +hair; she's dismounted. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, Lord! What's the chaperon like? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, she's attending to that herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +Attending to it herself? What do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I expect she'll attend to most things. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in door- +way of tent, pulling back flap a little.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Who are you? + +HAFIZ + +I show the gracious lady to your tent. + +[Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing +a smile to HAFIZ.] + +MIRALDA + +Hullo, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--er--how do you do? + +[She looks at ARCHIE.] + +O, this is my brother--Miss Clement. + +MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL + +How do you do? + +MIRALDA + +I like this country. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid I hardly expected you. + +MIRALDA + +Didn't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +No. You see er--it's such a long way. +And wasn't it very expensive? + +MIRALDA + +Well, the captain of the ship was very kind +to me. + +JOHN BEAL + +O! But what did you do when you landed? + +MIRALDA + +0, there were some Arabs coming this way +in a caravan. They were really very good to +me too. + +JOHN BEAL + +But the camel? + +MIRALDA + +0, there were some people the other side of +the mountains. Everybody has been very +kind about it. And then there was the man +who showed me here. He's called Hafiz el +Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think? + +JOHN BEAL + +But, you know, this country, Miss Cle- +ment, I'm half afraid it's hardly--isn't it, +Archie? Er--how long did you think of +staying? + +MIRALDA + +O, a week or so. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what you'll think of Al Shal- +domir. I'm afraid you'll find it . . . + +MIRALDA + +Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the moun- +tains, and the one pass, and no record of it +anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely. + +JOHN BEAL + +You see, I'm afraid--what I mean is I'm +afraid the place isn't even on the map! + +MIRALDA + +O, that's lovely of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +All decent places are. + +MIRALDA + +You mean if a place is on the map we've +got to behave accordingly. But if not, why . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Hussein won't pay. + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a savage- +looking brigand. + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. + +[ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling +sometimes. + +Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the un- +holy heap and takes away two large idols, +one under each arm. Exit.] + +What's that, Mr. Beal? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible. +I told you it was an awful country. They +pray to these idols here, and some are all +right, though of course it's terribly blasphe- +mous, but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well +that heap is very bad indeed. + +MIRALDA + +What do they do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They kill people. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How? + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid they pour their blood down those +horrible throats. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How do you know? + +JOHN BEAL + +I've seen them do it, and those mouths +are all rusty. But it's all right now. It +won't happen any more. + +MIRALDA + +Won't it? Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're +all going to be thrown into the river. + +MIRALDA + +Have you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now. +They won't do it any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. + +JOHN BEAL + +What, what is it? I promise you that's all +right. They won't do that any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. I've never known anyone that tried +to govern a country or anything of that sort, +but . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put +them right.. . . I'd be very glad of your +advice. . . Of course, I'm only here in +your name. + +MIRALDA + +What I mean is that I'd always thought +that the one thing you shouldn't do, if you +don't mind my saying so. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +No, certainly. + +MIRALDA + +Was to interfere in people's re- +ligious beliefs. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but I don't think you quite under- +stand. The priests knife these people in the +throat, boys and girls, and then acolytes +lift them up and the blood runs down. I've +seen them. + +MIRALDA + +I think it's best to leave religion to the +priests. They understand that kind of thing. + +[JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror +and looks at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns +the glance; there is very nearly a twinkle in +ARCHIE's eyes.] + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +What do you think, Archie? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Poor fellow. We'd better send for him. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you say "poor fellow"? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's +awful to be in debt. I'd sooner almost any- +thing happened to me than to owe a lot of +money. + +MIRALDA + +Your remark didn't sound very compli- +mentary. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt. +And I should hate owing money to you, +Because . . . + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Because I should so awfully want to pay it. + +MIRALDA + +I see. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all I meant. + +MIRALDA + +Does Hussein awfully want to pay it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He +will then, of course. + +[Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy +heap.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, for the present these gods must +stay. Aho-oomlah's gone, but the rest must +stay for the present. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, go once more to the palace of the +Lord of the Pass and beat the outer door. +Say that the great lady herself would see him. +The great lady, Miss Clement, the white +traveller's heiress. + +DAOUD + +Yes, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hasten. + +[Exit DAOUD.] + +I have sent him for Hussein. + +MIRALDA + +I don't know their language. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will see him, and I'll tell you what he +says. + +MIRALDA [to ARCHIE] + +Have you been here long? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. I think he wrote to me by the same +mail as he wrote to you (if they have mails +here). I came at once. + +MIRALDA + +So did I; but you weren't on the Empress +of Switzerland. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, I came round more by land. + +JOHN BEAL + +You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein +in here to see you. He's such a--he's rather +a . . . + +MIRALDA + +What's the matter with him? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and +one doesn't know what he'll do. + +MIRALDA + +Well, we must see him first and hear what +he has to say before we take any steps. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what do you propose to do? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or +gives up the security . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +The security is the pass. + +MIRALDA + +Yes. If he gives up that or pays . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +You know he's practically king of the +whole country. It seems rather cheek almost +my sending for him like this. + +MIRALDA + +He must come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what are you going to do? + +MIRALDA + +If he gives up the pass . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be +you'd be a kind of queen of it all. + +MIRALDA + +Well, if he does that, all right. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +But what if he doesn't? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he doesn't pay . . . + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[Enter HUSSEIN.] + +HUSSEIN + +Greeting once more. + +JOHN BEAL + +Again greeting.... The great lady, +Miss Clement, is here. + +[HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each +other.] + +You will pay to Miss Clement and not to +your god of bronze. On the word of an Eng- +lishman, your god of bronze shall not have +one gold piece that belongs to the great lady! + +HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous] + +On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only +pay to Hinnard. + +[He stands smiling while MIRALDA +regards him. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do now? + +JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA] + +I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to +introduce you to like that. I'm sorry he came +now. + +MIRALDA + +0, I like him, I think he looks splendid. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are we to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What do you say, Miss Clement? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, what do you feel we ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to +you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, it's your money. What do you think +we really ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, of course, I think you ought to kill +Hussein. + +[JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look +at each other a little startled.] + +JOHN BEAL + +But wouldn't that--wouldn't that be-- +murder? + +MIRALDA + +0, yes, according to the English law. + +JOHN BEAL + +I see; you mean--you mean we're not--but +we are English. + +MIRALDA + +I mean it wouldn't be murder--by your +law, unless you made it so. + +JOHN BEAL + +By my law? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, if you can interfere with their religion +like this, and none of them say a word, why-- +you can make any laws you like. + +JOHN BEAL + +But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the +Pass, and that's everything here. I'm nobody. + +MIRALDA + +0, if you like to be nobody, of course that's +different. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I think she means that if Hussein weren't +there there'd be only you. Of course, I don't +know. I've only just come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we can't kill Hussein! + +[MIRALDA begins to cry.] + +O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss +Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said any- +thing you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for +worlds. I'm awfully sorry. It's a beastly +country, I know. I'm really sorry you came. +I feel it's all my fault. I'm really awfully +sorry. . . + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. Never mind. I was so help- +less, and I asked you to help me. I never +ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have +spoken to you at all in that train without +being introduced; but I was so helpless. And +now, and now, I haven't a penny in the world, +and, O, I don't know what to do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Anything in the wide world. Please, please +don't cry. We'll do anything. + +MIRALDA + +I . . . I only, I only wanted to--to kill +Hussein. But never mind, it doesn't matter +now. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we, +Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. I--I +suppose he deserves it, doesn't he? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose he does. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled. +My brother and I will talk it over. + +MIRALDA [still sniping] + +And--and--don't hang him or anything-- +he looks so fine.... I--I wouldn't like +him treated like that. He has such a grand +beard. He ought to die fighting. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement. + +MIRALDA + +It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's +sweet of both of you. I don't know what I d +have done without you. I seemed to know +it that day the moment I saw you. + +JOHN BEAL + +0, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all right. + +MIRALDA + +Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the +trouble. That's what I've been thinking of + +MIRALDA + +Why, isn't there . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to +do, Archie. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I--I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement +would have a scheme. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL] + +I rely on you, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +I--I; but what can I . . . You see, +you're all alone. If you'd anyone with you, +you could have . . . + +MIRALDA + +I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt. +But on the whole I thought it better not to +tell anyone. + +JOHN BEAL + +Not to tell . . . + +MIRALDA + +No, on the whole I didn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +I say, Archie, what are we to do? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Here's Daoud. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +JOHN BEAL + +The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir! + +DAOUD + +I have brought two watchers of the door- +step to guard the noble lady. + +JOHN BEAL + +He says he's brought two watchers of the +doorstep to look after Miss Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go +anywhere now. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, really, that is better. Yes that will +be all right. We can find a room for you now. +The trouble was your being alone. I hope +you'll like them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them +to enter here. + +DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway] + +Ho! Enter! + +JOHN BEAL + +That's all right, ARCHIE, isn't it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a +chaperon, black or white. + +JOHN BEAL + +You won't mind their being black, will you, +Miss Clement? + +MIRALDA + +No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse +than white ones. + +[Enter BAzzAroL and THOOTHOOBABA +two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock +fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at +them. They begin to fan slightly.] + +DAOUD + +The watchers of the doorstep. + +JOHN BEAL + +Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may +not guard a lady's door. + +[BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile +ingratiatingly.] + +We are not men. + +BAZZALOL [bowing] + +Curtain + +Six and a half years elapse + + +THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES + +When morn is bright on the mountains olden + Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day, + When morn is bright and the marshes golden, +Where shall the lost lights fade away? + And where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows + Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray, +And the water is streaked with the flash of +swallows + And all through summer the iris sway. + But where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +When night is black in the iris marshes. + + +ACT III + +SCENE I + +Six and a half years later. +Al Shaldomir. +A room in the palace. + +MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions, +JOHN beside her. + +Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them. + +OMAR [declaiming to a zither] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God + And after Paradise, all praise. + Thou art the theme of all their lays. +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir. . . . + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Omar. + +OMAR + +O lady, I depart. +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA [languidly] + +John, John. I wish you'd marry me. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you're thinking of those old cus- +toms again that we left behind us seven years +ago. What's the good of it? + +MIRALDA + +I had a fancy that I wished you would. + +JOHN + +What's the good of it? You know you are +my beloved. There are none of those clergy- +men within hundreds of miles. What's the +good of it? + +MIRALDA + +We could find one, John. + +JOHN + +O, yes, I suppose we could, but . . . + +MIRALDA + +Why won't you? + +JOHN + +I told you why. + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, that instinct that you must not +marry. That's not your reason, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, it is. + +MIRALDA + +It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason. +It's no reason at all. There's some other +reason. + +JOHN + +No, there isn't. But I feel that in my +bones. I don't know why. You know that +I love none else but you. Besides, we're +never going back, and it doesn't matter. +This isn't Blackheath. + +MIRALDA + +So I must live as your slave. + +JOHN + +No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my +slave. Did not the singer compare our love +to the desire of the nightingale for the even- +ing star? All know that you are my queen. + +MIRALDA + +They do not know at home. + +JOHN + +Home? Home? How could they know? +What have we in common with home? Rows +and rows of little houses; and if they hear a +nightingale there they write to the papers. +And--and if they saw this they'd think they +were drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd. +What has set you thinking of home? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +But I am not a king. I am only Shereef. + +MIRALDA + +You are all-powerful here, John, you can do +what you please, if you wish to. You don't +love me at all. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't +I kill Hussein for you? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, but you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +And Hussein's people killed ARCHIE. That +was for you too. I brought my brother out +here to help you. He was engaged to be +married, too. + +MIRALDA + +But you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves +the iris marshes. You know the song they +sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III) + +MIRALDA + +Then why won't you marry me? + +JOHN + +I told you, I told you. I had a dream about +the future. I forgot the dream, but I know +I was not to marry. I will not wrong the +future. + +MIRALDA + +Don't be crazy. + +JOHN + +I will have what fancies I please, crazy or +sane. Am I not Shereef of Shaldomir? Who +dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +It is not my wish. + +MIRALDA + +I will, I will, I will. + +JOHN + +Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast +into a well and take twenty of the fairest +daughters of A1 Shaldomir in your place, who +can gainsay me? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +O, do not be tiresome. + +MIRALDA + +Was it not my money that brought you +here? Was it not I who said " Kill Hussein"? +What power could you have had, had Hus- +sein lived? What would you have been doing +now, but for me? + +JOHN + +I don't know, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Catching some silly train to the City. +Working for some dull firm. Living in some +small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought +you from all that, and you won't make me a +queen. + +JOHN + +Is it not enough that you are my beloved? +You know there is none other but you. Is +it not enough, Miralda? + +MIRALDA + +It is not enough. I will be queen. + +JOHN + +Tchah! . . . Miralda, I know you are a +wonderful woman, the most wonderful in the +East; how you ever came to be in the West +I don't know, and a train of all places; but, +Miralda, you must not have petty whims, +they don't become you. + +MIRALDA + +Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen? + +JOHN + +Yes, when it is only the name you want. +You are a queen. You have all you wish for. +Are you not my beloved? And have I not +power here over all men? Could I not close +the pass? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be queen. + +JOHN + +Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do +than to sit and hear your whims. When I +come back you will have some other whim. +Miralda, you have too many whims. + +[He rises.] + +MIRALDA + +Will you be back soon? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +When will you come back, John? + +[She is reclining, looking fair, fanning +slightly.] + +JOHN + +In half an hour. + +MIRALDA + +In half an hour? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA + +Half an hour. + +[Her fan is laid down. She clutches +it with sudden resolve. She goes to the +wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans +against it. She fans herself now with +obvious deliberation. Three times the +great fan goes pat against the window, and +then again separately three times; and +then she puts it against the window once +with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled. +She returns to the cushions and reclines +with beautiful care, fanning herself softly. + +Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN] + +HAFIZ + +Lady! You bade me come. + +MIRALDA + +Did I, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, your fan. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, I was fanning myself. + +HAFIZ + +Seven times, lady. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, was it? Well, now you're here. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O star of these times. O light over +lonely marshes. [He kneels by her and em- +braces her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady? + +MIRALDA + +For half an hour, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +How know you for half an hour? + +MIRALDA + +He said so. + +HAFIZ + +He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a +man say so. + +MIRALDA + +I know him. + +HAFIZ + +In our country who knows any man so +much? None. + +MIRALDA + +He'll be away for half an hour. + +HAFIZ [embracing] + +O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for +me? + +HAFIZ + +I would do all things, lady, O evening +star. + +MIRANDA + +Would you make me a queen, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +If--if the Shereef were gathered? + +MIRALDA + +Even so, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I would make you queen of all that +lies west of the passes. + +MIRANDA + +You would make me queen? + +HAFIZ + +Indeed, before all my wives, before all +women, over all Shaldomir, named the elect. + +MIRALDA + +0, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me. +[HAF~z does so ad lib.] + +Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour. + +MIRALDA + +The appointed hour? + +HAFIZ + +Even the appointed hour, the last, leading +to darkness. + +MIRALDA + +Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's +hour is soon? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a ban- +quet. Let the great ones of Shaldomir be +bidden there. + +MIRALDA + +There shall be a banquet, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of +the garden. + +MIRALDA + +It shall be soon, Hafiz. +[More embraces.] + +HAFIZ + +And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son +of the baker. + +MIRALDA + +He shall be bidden, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +O lady, it is well. + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL]. +Silence. Silence. Silence. + +BAZZALOL [kneeling] + +O, master! + +HAFIZ + +Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out; +but do you be silent. + +BAZZALOL + +Aye, master. + +HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA] + +And you. Though this one speak, yet be +silent, or dread the shadow of Hafiz el A1- +colahn. + +[He drops a bag of gold. THOOTHOO- +BABA goes down and grabs at the gold; +his eyes gloat over it.] + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h. + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +MIRALDA arranges herself on the cush- +ions. She looks idly at each Nubian. The +Nubians put each a finger over his lips and +go on fanning with one hand.] + +MIRALDA + +A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen. + +[Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him +caressingly. + +Enter DAOUD.] + +Oh, you have brought Daoud with you. + +JOHN + +Why not? + +MIRALDA + +You know that I don't like Daoud. + +JOHN + +I wish to speak with him. + +[MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and +moves away in silence. Exit L.] + +JOHN + +Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Great master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery +of those called Blessed, beyond the city's +gates, you swore to me by the graves of both +your parents . . . . + +DAOUD + +Great master, even so I swore. + +JOHN + +. . . . to be true to me always. + +DAOUD + +There is no Shereef but my master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, you have kept your word. + +DAOUD + +I have sought to, master. + +JOHN + +You have helped me often, Daoud, warned +me and helped me often. Through you I +knew those currents that run through the +deeps of the market, in silence and all men +feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of +them, and when I knew--then I could look +after myself, Daoud. They could do nothing +against me then. Well, now I hold this +people. I hold them at last, Daoud, and now +--well, I can rest a little. + +DAOUD + +Not in the East, master. + +JOHN + +Not in the East, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Why? What do you mean? + +DAOUD + +In Western countries, master, whose tales +I have read, in a wonderful book named the +"Good Child's History of England," in the +West a man hath power over a land, and lo! +the power is his and descends to his son's son +after him. + +JOHN + +Well, doesn't it in the East? + +DAOUD + +Not if he does not watch, master; in the +night and the day, and in the twilight be- +tween the day and the night, and in the dawn +between the night and the day. + +JOHN + +I thought you had pretty long dynasties +in these parts, and pretty lazy ones. + +DAOUD + +Master, he that was mightiest of those that +were kings in Babylon had a secret door pre- +pared in an inner chamber, which led to a +little room, the smallest in the palace, whose +back door opened secretly to the river, even +to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited +all the days of his reign. + +JOHN + +Did he really now? Well, he was taking no +chances. Did he have to use it? + +DAOUD + +No, master. Such boats are never used. +Those that watch like that do not need to +seek them, and the others, they would never +be able to reach the river in time, even though +the boat were there. + +JOHN + +I shouldn't like to have to live like that. +Why, a river runs by the back of this palace. +I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm +glad I don't have to keep a boat there. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it you are worrying about? +Who is it you are afraid of? + +DAOUD + +Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately +I ordered my spies to watch him no longer. +Why does he hate me? + +DAOUD + +Because, most excellent master, you slew +Hussein. + +JOHN + +Slew Hussein? What is that to do with +him? May I not slay whom I please? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Even so. But he was +Hussein's enemy. + +JOHN + +His enemy, eh? + +DAOUD + +For years he had dreamed of the joy of +killing Hussein. + +JOHN + +Well, he should have done it before I came. +We don't hang over things and brood over +them for years where I come from. If a +thing's to be done, it's done. + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans +for years. He would have killed him and got +his substance; and then, when the hour drew +near, you came, and Hussein died, swiftly, +not as Hafiz would have had him die; and +lo! thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz is +no more than a beetle that runs about in the +dirt. + +JOHN + +Well, so you fear Hafiz? + +DAOUD + +Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not +Hafiz. But, master, hast thou seen when the +thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard +and the sky is scarce yet black, how little +winds run in the grass and sigh and die; and +the flower beckons a moment with its head; +all the world full of whispers, master, all say- +ing nothing; then the lightning, master, and +the anger of God; and men say it came with- +out warning? [Simply.] I hear those things +coming, master. + +JOHN + +Well? + +DAOUD + +Master, it is all silent in the market. Once, +when the price of turquoises was high, men +abused the Shereef. When the merchant men +could not sell their pomegranates for silver +they abused the Shereef. It is men's way, +master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the +market. It is like the grasses with the idle +winds, that whisper and sigh and die away; +like the flowers beckoning to nothing. And +so, master, and so . . . . + +JOHN + +I see, you fear some danger. + +DAOUD + +I fear it, master. + +JOHN + +What danger, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Master, I know not. + +JOHN + +From what quarter, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir, +named the elect, from that quarter. + +JOHN + +That quarter? Why, that is the gracious +lady's innermost chamber. + +DAOUD + +From that quarter, great master, O Lord +of the Pass. + +JOHN + +Daoud, I have cast men into prison for +saying less than this. Men have been flogged +on the feet for less than this. + +DAOUD + +Slay me, master, but hear my words. + +JOHN + +I will not slay you. You are mistaken, +Daoud. You have made a great mistake. +The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady +has scarcely seen Hafiz. She knows nothing +of the talk of the market. Who could tell +her? No one comes here. It is absurd. Only +the other day she said to me . . . But it +is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the +people would never rebel against me. Do I +not govern them well? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. + +JOHN + +Why should they rebel, then? + +DAOUD + +They think of the old times, master. + +JOHN + +The old times? Why, their lives weren't +safe. The robbers came down from the moun- +tains and robbed the market whenever they +had a mind. + +DAOUD + +Master, men were content in the old times. + +JOHN + +But were the merchants content? + +DAOUD + +Those that loved merchandise were con- +tent, master. Those that loved it not went +into the mountains. + +JOHN + +But were they content when they were +robbed? + +DAOUD + +They soon recovered their losses, master. +Their prices were unjust and they loved usury. + +JOHN + +And were the people content with unjust +prices? + +DAOUD + +Some were, master, as men have to be in +all countries. The others went into the moun- +tains and robbed the merchants. + +JOHN + +I see. + +DAOUD + +But now, master, a man robs a merchant +and he is cast into prison. Now a man is +slain in the market and his son, his own son, +master, may not follow after the aggressor +and slay him and burn his house. They are +ill-content, master. No man robs the mer- +chants, no man slays them, and the mer- +chants' hearts are hardened and they oppress +all men. + +JOHN + +I see. They don't like good government? + +DAOUD + +They sigh for the old times, master. + +JOHN + +I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for +them, they want their old bad government +back again. + +DAOUD + +It is the old way, master. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well, +we must watch. You have warned me once +again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you +are wrong, Daoud, about the gracious lady. +You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are +mistaken, Daoud. I know it could not be. + +DAOUD + +I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am mis- +taken. Yet, watch. Watch, master. + +JOHN + +Well, I will watch. + +DAOUD + +And, master, if ever I come to you bearing +oars, then watch no longer, master, but follow +me through the banquet chamber and through +the room beyond it. Move as the wild deer +move when there is danger, without pausing, +without wondering, without turning round; +for in that hour, master, in that hour . . . . + +JOHN + +Through the room beyond the banquet +chamber, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Aye, master, following me. + +JOHN +But there is no door beyond, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Master, I have prepared a door. + +JOHN + +A door, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +A door none wots of, master. + +JOHN + +Whither does it lead? + +DAOUD + +To a room that you know not of, a little +room; you must stoop, master. + +JOHN + +O, and then? + +DAOUD + +To the river, master. + +JOHN + +The river! But there's no boat there. + +DAOUD + +Under the golden willow, master. + +JOHN + +A boat? + +DAOUD + +Even so, under the branches. + +JOHN + +Is it come to that? . . . No, Daoud, all +this is unnecessary. It can't come to that. + +DAOUD + +If ever I come before you bearing two oars, +in that hour, master, it is necessary. + +JOHN + +But you will not come. It will never come +to that. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +A wise man can stop things before they +get as far as that. + +DAOUD + +They that were kings in Babylon were wise +men, master. + +JOHN + +Babylon! But that was thousands of +years ago. + +DAOUD + +Man changes not, master. + +JOHN + +Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it +ever comes to that . . . + +[Enter MIRALDA.] + +MIRALDA + +I thought Daoud was gone. + +DAOUD + +Even now I go, gracious lady. + +[Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence +with JOHN and MIRALDA till he goes. +She goes and retakes herself comfortable +on the cushions. He is not entirely at ease.] + +MIRALDA + +You had a long talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he came and talked a good deal. + +MIRALDA + +What about? + +JOHN + +0, just talk; you know these Eastern +people. + +MIRALDA + +I thought it was something you were dis- +cussing with him. + +JOHN + +O, no. + +MIRALDA + +Some important secret. + +JOHN + +No, not at all. + +MIRALDA + +You often talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks +sense I listen, but to-day . . . + +MIRALDA + +What did he come for to-day? + +JOHN + +O, nothing. + +MIRALDA + +You have a secret with Daoud that you +will not share with me. + +JOHN + +No, I have not. + +MIRALDA + +What was it he said? + +JOHN + +He said there was a king in Babylon who . . . + +[DAOUD slips into the room.] + +MIRALDA + +In Babylon? What has that to do with +us? + +JOHN + +Nothing. I told you he was not talking +sense. + +MIRALDA + +Well, what did he say? + +JOHN + +He said that in Babylon . . . + +DAOUD + +Hist! + +JOHN + +O, well . . . + +[MIRALDA glares, but calms herself +and says nothing. + +Exit DAOUD.] + +MIRALDA + +What did Daoud say of Babylon? + +JOHN + +O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do +with us. + +MIRALDA + +But I wish to hear it. + +JOHN + +I forget. + +[For a moment there is silence.] + +MIRALDA + +John, John. Will you do a little thing for +me? + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Say you will do it, John. I should love to +have one of my little wishes granted. + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill +Daoud. + +JOHN + +I will not. + +[He walks up and down in front of the +two Nubians in silence. She plucks petu- +lantly at a pillow. She suddenly calms +herself. A light comes into her eyes. The +Nubians go on fanning. JOHN goes on +pacing.] + + MIRALDA + +John, John, I have forgotten my foolish +fancies. + +JOHN + +I am glad of it. + +MIRALDA + +I do not really wish you to kill Daoud. + +JOHN [same voice] + +I'm glad you don't. + +MIRALDA + +I have only one fancy now, John. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it? + +MIRALDA + +Give a banquet, John. I want you to give +a banquet. + +JOHN + +A banquet? Why? + +MIRALDA + +Is there any harm in my fancy? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +Then if I may not be a queen, and if you +will not kill Daoud for me, give a banquet, +John. There is no harm in a banquet. + +JOHN + +Very well. When do you want it? + +MIRALDA + +To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones +to it, all the illustrious ones in Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Very well. + +MIRALDA + +And bid Daoud come. + +JOHN + +Daoud? You asked me to kill him. + +MIRALDA + +I do not wish that any longer, John. + +JOHN + +You have queer moods, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +May I not change my moods, John? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't understand them. + +MIRALDA + +And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John. + +JOHN + +Hafiz? Why? + +MIRALDA + +I don't know, John. It was just my fancy. + +JOHN + +Your fancy, eh? + +MIRALDA + +That was all. + +JOHN + +Then I will ask him. Have you any other +fancy? + +MIRALDA + +Not now, John. + +JOHN + +Then go, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Go? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +JOHN + +Because I command it. + +MIRALDA + +Because you command it? + +JOHN + +Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir. + +MIRALDA + +Very well. + +[Exit L. + +He walks to the door to see that she is +really gone. He comes back to centre and +stands with back to audience, pulling a +cord quietly from his pocket and arranging +it. + +He moves half left and comes up behind +BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the cord +over BAZZALOL'S head, and tightens it +round his neck.] + +[BAZZALOL flops on his knees. + +THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.] + +JOHN + +Speak! + +[BAZZALOL is silent. + +JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA +goes on quietly fanning.] + +BAZZALOL + +I cannot. + +JOHN + +If you would speak, raise your left hand. +If you raise your left hand and do not speak +you shall die. + +[BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens +more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby +left hand high. JOHN releases the cord. +BAZZALOL blinks and moves his mouth.] + +BAZZALOL + +Gracious Shereef, one visited the great +lady and gave us gold, saying, "Speak not." + +JOHN + +When? + +BAZZALOL + +Great master, one hour since. + +JOHN [a little viciously] + +Who? + +BAZZALOL + +O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +Give me the gold. + +[BAZZALOL gives it.] + +[To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the +gold. + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, none gave me gold. + +[John touches his dagger, and looks like +using it. + +THOOTHOOBABA gives it.] + +JOHN + +Take back your gold. Be silent about this. +You too. + +[He throws gold to BAZZALOL.] + +Gold does not make you silent, but there is +a thing that does. What is that thing? +Speak. What thing makes you silent? + +BAZZALOL + +O, great master, it is death. + +JOHN + +Death, eh? And how will you die if you +speak? You know how you will die? + +BAZZALOL + +Yes, heaven-sent. + +JOHN + +Tell your comrade, then. + +BAZZALOL + +We shall be eaten, great master. + +JOHN + +You know by what? + +BAZZALOL + +Small things, great master, small things. +Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h. + +[THOOTHOOBABA S knees scarcely hold +him.] + +JOHN + +It is well. + + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +A small street. Al Shaldomir. + +Time: Next day. + +[Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE BISHAR- +EENS. + +He goes to an old green door, pointed of +course in the Arabic way.] + +SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Ho, Bishareens! + +[The BISHAREENS run on.] + +SHEIK + +It is the place and the hour. + +BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN] + +Watch. + +[FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and +watches up sunny street.] + +FIRST BISHAREEN + +He comes. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes +straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.] + +SHEIK [turning] + +Hear, O Bishareens. + +[HAFIZ places flute to his lips.] + +A BISHAREEN + +And the gold, master? + +SHEIK + +Silence! It is the signal. + +[HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on +his flute.] + +HAFIZ + +So. + +SHEIK + +Master, once more. + +[HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.] + +SHEIK + +Hear, O Bishareens! + +[He plays the brief tune again.] + +HAFIZ [to SHEIK] + +Like that. + +SHEIK + +We have heard, O master. + +[He walks away L. Hands move in +the direction of knife-hilts.] + +THE BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +He plays a merry little tune on his +flute as he walks away.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 3 + +The banqueting hall. A table along the +back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with +notables of Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA +on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ EL +ALCOLAHN. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN] + +You bade Daoud be present? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +He is not here. + +JOHN + +Daoud not here? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Why? + +MIRALDA + +We all obey you, but not Daoud. + +JOHN + +I do not understand it. + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef has frowned. + +[Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He +halts at once and salutes with his sword, +then takes a side pace to his left, standing +against the wall, sword at the carry. + +JOHN acknowledges salute by touching +his forehead with the inner tips of his +fingers.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the dance- +step; march. + +[Enter R. some men in single file; +uniform, pale green silks; swords at carry. +They advance in single file, in a slightly +serpentine way, deviating to their left a +little out of the straight and returning to it, +stepping neatly on the tips of their toes. +Their march is fantastic and odd without +being exactly funny. + + The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their + left flank and marches about level with the + third or fourth man. + When he reaches the centre he gives + another word of command.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +With reverence: Salute. + +[The actor who takes this part should +have been an officer or N. C. O. + +JOHN stands up and acknowledges their +salute by touching his forehead with the +fingers of the right hand, palm turned +inwards. + +Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.] + +A NOTABLE + +He does not smile this evening. + +A WOMAN + +The Shereef? + +NOTABLE + +He has not smiled. + +[Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with +brass bowl. He bows. He walks to centre +opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.] + +ZABNOOL + +Behold. The bowl is empty. + +[ZABNOOL produces a snake.] + +ZABNOOL + +Ah, little servant of Death. + +[He produces flowers.] + +Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from +Nowhere. + +[He produces birds.] + +Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere. +Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the little +empty songs of the land of Nowhere. + +[He seats himself on the ground facing +JOHN. He puts the bowl on the ground. +He places a piece of silk, with queer de- +signs on it over the bowl. He partly +draws the silk away with his left hand and +puts in his right. He brings out a young +crocodile and holds it by the neck.] + +CONJURER + +Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a +crocodile. + +[He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps +up the crocodile in some drapery and walks +away. As he goes he addresses his croco- +dile.] + +O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers, +you sought to evade me in an empty bowl. +O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the +Shereef. The Shereef has seen you, O vexer +of swimmers, O pig in armour, O . . . + +[Exit. + +SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes +on.] + +SHABEESH + +Bad man, master; he very, very bad man. + +[He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly, im- +petus of which carries ZABNOOL to the +wings.] + +Very, very bad man, master. + +MIRALDA [reprovingly] + +Zabnool has amused us. + +SHABEESH + +He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get +crocodile from devil. From devil Poolyana, +lily lady. Very, very bad. + +MIRALDA + +He may call on devils if he amuse us, +Shabeesh. + +SHABEESH + +But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my +devil, lily lady. Very, very, very bad. My +devil Poolyana. + +MIRALDA + +Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse +us. + +SHABEESH + +Shall one devil serve two masters? + +MIRALDA + +Why not? + +SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's +hands] + +Very bad man go away. Go away, bad +man: go away, bad man. Poolyana not want +bad man: Poolyana only work for good man. +He mighty fine devil. Poolyana, Poolyana. +Big, black, fine, furry devil. Poolyana, Pool- +yana, Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big +angry tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. +Send me up fine young pig for the Shereef. +Poolyana, Poolyana. Lil yellow pig with +curly tail. [Small pig appears.] O Pooly- +ana, great Poolyana. Fine black fur and +grey fur underneath. Fine ferocious devil +you my devil, Poolyana. O, Poolyana, Pooly- +ana, Poolyana. Send me a big beast what +chew bad man's crocodile. Big beast with +big teeth, eat him like a worm. + +[He has spread large silk handkerchief +on floor and is edging back from it in +alarm.] + +Long nails in him toes, big like lion, +Poolyana. Send great smelly big beast--eat +up bad man's crocodile. + +[At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH +leaps in alarm.] + +He come, he come. I see his teeth and +horns. + +[Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor +under handkerchief.] + +O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle +joke. You laugh at poor conjuring man. +You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile. +Bad Poolyana. Bad Poolyana. + +[Whacks ground with stick.] + +You plenty bad devil, Poolyana. + +[Whacking it again. Handkerchief has +been thrown on ground again. Handker- +chief stirs slightly.] + +No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil. +You not bad devil. You plenty good devil, +Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man +quite happy on muddy earth. NO, Poolyana, +no! O. no, no, devil. O. no, no! Hell plenty +nice place for devil. Master! He not my +devil! He other man's devil! + +JOHN + +What's this noise? What's it about? +What's the matter? + +SHABEESH [in utmost terror] + +He coming, master! Coming! + +ZABNOOL + +Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay +down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in +nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want +no devil to-day. + +[ZABNOOL before speaking returns to +centre and pats air over ground where +handkerchief lies. + +Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOE come +together side by side and bow and smile +together toward the SHEREEF. Gold is +thrown to them, which ZABNOOL gathers +and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a share +back to ZABNOOL.] + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef is silent. + +[Enter three women R. in single file, +dancing, and carrying baskets full of pink +rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing +down rose-leaves, leaving a path of them +behind them. Exeunt L.] + +A NOTABLE + +Still he is silent. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not speak? + +JOHN + +I do not wish to speak. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +[Enter OMAR with his zither.] + + OMAR [singing] + +A1 Shaldomir, A1 Shaldomir, +Birds sing thy praises night and day; + The nightingale in every wood, +Blackbirds in fields profound with may; +Birds sing of thee by every way. + +A1 Shaldomir, A1 Shaldomir, +My heart is ringing with thee still +Though far away, O fairy fields, +My soul flies low by every hill +And misses not one daffodil. + +A1 Shaldomir, A1 Shaldomir, +O mother of my roving dreams +Blue is the night above thy spires +And blue by myriads of streams +Paradise through thy gateway gleams. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not wish to speak? + +JOHN + +You desire me to speak? + +MIRALDA + +No. They all wonder why you do not +speak; that is all. + +JOHN + +I will speak. They shall hear me. + +MIRALDA + +O, there is no need to. + +JOHN + +There is a need. [He rises.] People of +Shaldomir, behold I know your plottings. +I know the murmurings that you murmur +against me. When I sleep in my inner cham- +ber my ear is in the market, while I sit at +meat I hear men whisper far hence and know +their innermost thoughts. Hope not to over- +come me by your plans nor by any manner of +craftiness. My gods are gods of brass; none +have escaped them. They cannot be over- +thrown. Of all men they favour my people. +Their hands reach out to the uttermost ends +of the earth. Take heed, for my gods are +terrible. I am the Shereef; if any dare with- +stand me I will call on my gods and they shall +crush him utterly. They shall grind him into +the earth and trample him under, as though +he had not been. The uttermost parts have +feared the gods of the English. They reach +out, they destroy, there is no escape from +them. Be warned; for I do not permit any +to stand against me. The laws that I have +given you, you shall keep; there shall be no +other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my +wrath and the wrath of my gods. Take heed, +I speak not twice. I spoke once to Hussein. +Hussein heard not; and Hussein is dead, his +ears are closed for ever. Hear, O people. + +HAFIZ + +O Shereef, we murmur not against you. + +JOHN + +I know thoughts and hear whispers. I +need not instruction, Hafiz. + + HAFIZ + +You exalt yourself over us as none did +aforetime. + +JOHN + +Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been +Shereef hitherto, but now I will be king. Al +Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled +too long over a little country. I will be the +equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim it. +The pass is mine; the mountains shall be +mine also. And he that rules the mountains +has mastery over all the plains beyond. If +the men of the plains will not own it let them +make ready; for my wrath will fall on them +in the hour when they think me afar, on a +night when they think I dream. I proclaim +myself king over . . . + +[HAF1Z pulls out his flute and plays the +weird, strange tune. JOHN looks at him in +horrified anger.] + +JOHN + +The penalty is death! Death is the punish- +ment for what you do, Hafiz. You have +dared while I spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is +death. Go to Hussein. I, the king . . . +say it. + +[DAOUD has entered R., bearing two +oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking +at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near +back. + +JOHN gives one look at the banqueters, +then he follows DAOUD. Exit. + +All look astonished. Some rise and +peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.] + +OMAR [singing] + +A1 Shaldomir, A1 Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise, + +CRIES [off] + +Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the +Christian. + +[Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS, +followed by all his men.] + +SHEIK + +We are the Bishareens, master. + +[MIRALDA standing up, right arm akim- +bo, left arm pointing perfectly straight out +towards the small door, hand extended.] + +MIRALDA + +He is there. + +[The BISHAREENS run off through the +little door.] + +A NOTABLE + +Not to interfere with old ways is wisest. + +ANOTHER + +Indeed, it would have been well for him. + +[The BISHAREENS begin to return look- +ing all about them like disappointed +hounds.] + +A BISHAREEN + +He is not there, master. + +HAFIZ + +Not there? Not there? Why, there is no +door beyond. He must needs be there, and +his chief spy with him. +SHEIK [off] + +He is not here. + +MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall] + +O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him. + +HAFIZ + +Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is +gone. + +MIRALDA + +When I am weary of a man he must die. + +[He embraces her knees.] + +ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd +that followed the BISHAREENS. She is +blind.] + +Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of +Hafiz. Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead her +near.] Hafiz! Hafiz! + +[She finds his shoulder and tries to drag +him away.] + +HAFIZ + +Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of +the innermost deeps of the sea. + +[He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's +hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.] + +Curtain + +ACT IV + +SCENE I + +Three years elapse. + +Scene: The street outside the Acacias. + +Time: Evening. + +[Ali leans on a pillar-box watching. +John shuffles on L. He is miserably +dressed, an Englishman down on his luck. +A nightingale sings far off.] + +JOHN + +A nightingale here. Well, I never. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise. . . + +The infernal place! I wish I had never +seen it! Wonder what set me thinking of +that? + +[The nightingale sings another bar. +JOHN turns to his left and walks down the +little path that leads to the door of the +Acacias.] + +I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a +fine house like this. Mustn't. Mustn't. + +[He draws near it reluctantly. He puts +his hand to the bell and withdraws it. +Then he rings and snatches his hand away. +He prepares to run away. Finally he rings +it repeatedly, feverishly, violently. + +Enter LIZA, opening the door.] + +LIZA + +Ullo, 'Oo's this! + +JOHN + +I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I +oughtn't to have rung your bell; but I've +seen better days, and wondered if--I won- +dered . . . + +LIZA + +I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's +wot I oughtn't. Now I look at you, I +oughtn't to 'ave opened it. Wot does you +want? + +JOHN + +O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must +come here. I must. + +LIZA + +Must? Why? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Wot do you want? + +JOHN + +Who lives here? + +LIZA + +Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Johnstone. What do you want? + +JOHN + +Could I see Mr. Cater? + +LIZA + +He's out. Dining at the Mansion House. + + JOHN + +Oh. + +LIZA + +He is. + +JOHN + +Could I see Mrs. Cater? + +LIZA + +See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you +couldn't. + +[She prepares to shut the door.] + +JOHN + +Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut +me out. If you knew what I'd suffered, if +you knew what I'd suffered. Don't! + +LIZA [coming forward again] + +Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to +eat? + +JOHN + +No, I've had nothing all day. + +LIZA + +'Aven't you really now? + +JOHN + +No. And I get little enough at any time. + +LIZA [kindly] + +You ought to work. + +JOHN + +I . . . I can't. I can't bring myself . . . +I've seen better times. + +LIZA + +Still, you could work. + +JOHN + +I--I can't grub for halfpennies when I've +--when I've . . . + +LIZA + +When you've what? + +JOHN + +Lost millions. + +LIZA + +Millions? + +JOHN + +I've lost everything. + +LIZA + +'Ow did you lose it? + +JOHN + +Through being blind. But never mind, +never mind. It's all gone now, and I'm +hungry. + +LIZA + +'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck? + +JOHN + +It's three years now. + +LIZA + +Couldn't get a regular job, like? + +JOHN + +Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose +it's my fault, miss. But the heart was out of +me. + +LIZA + +Dear me, now. + +JOHN + +Miss. + +LIZA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +You've a kind face . . . + +LIZA + +'Ave I? + +JOHN + +Yes. Would you do me a kind turn? + +LIZA + +Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down +on yer luck--I don't like to see a man like +you are, I must say. + +JOHN + +Would you let me come into the big house +and speak to the missus a moment? + +LIZA + +She'd row me awful if I did. This house is +very respectable. + +JOHN + +I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck +might change. + +LIZA + +But I don't know what she'd say if I did. + +JOHN + +Miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know wot she'd say. + +JOHN + +I must come in, miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll say. + +JOHN + +I must. I can't help myself. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll . . . + +[JOHN is in, door shuts.] + +[ALI throws his head up and laughs, +but quite silently.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +The drawing-room at the Acacias. + +A moment later. + +The scene is the same as in Act I, except +that the sofa which was red is now green, +and the photograph of Aunt Martha is +replaced by that of a frowning old colonel. +The ages of the four children in the photo- +graphs are the same, but their sexes have +changed. + +[MARY reading. Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, mum, +which is, properly speaking, not a gentleman +at all, but 'e would come in, mum. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza, +vhatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +'E would come in, mum. + +MARY + +But what does he want? + +LIZA [over shoulder] + +What does you want? + +JOHN [entering] + +I am a beggar. + +MARY + +O, really? You've no right to be coming +into houses like this, you know. + +JOHN + +I know that, madam, I know that. Yet +somehow I couldn't help myself. I've been +begging for nearly three years now, and I've +never done this before, yet somehow to-night +I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg +your pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to +it. + +MARY + +Hunger? + + +JOHN + +I'm very hungry, madam. + +MARY + +Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet re- +turned, or perhaps he might . . . + +JOHN + +If you could give me a little to eat your- +self, madam, a bit of stale bread, a crust, +something that Mr. Cater would not want. + +MARY + +It's very unusual, coming into a house like +this and at such an hour--it's past eleven +o'clock--and Mr. Cater not yet returned. +Are you really hungry? + +JOHN + +I'm very, very hungry. + +MARY + +Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I +might get you a little something. + +[She picks up an empty plate from the +supper table.] + +JOHN + +Madam, I do not know how to thank you. + +MARY + +O, don't mention it. + +JOHN + +I have not met such kindness for three +years. I . . . I'm starving. I've known +better times. + +MARY [kindly] + +I'll get you something. You've known +better times, you say? + +JOHN + +I had been intended for work in the City. +And then, then I travelled, and--and I got +very much taken with foreign countries, and +I thought--but it all went to pieces. I lost +everything. Here I am, starving. + +MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who +had lost her gloves] + +O, I'm so sorry. + +[JOHN sighs deeply.] + +MARY + +I'll get a nice bit of something to eat. + +JOHN + +A thousand thanks to you, madam. + +[Exit MARY with the plate.] + +LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the +time] + +Well, she's going to get you something. + +JOHN + +Heaven reward her. + +LIZA + +Hungry as all that? + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. +LIZA + +Cheer up! + +JOHN + +That's all very well to say, living in a fine +house, as you are, dry and warm and well-fed. +But what have I to cheer up about? + +LIZA + +Isn't there anything you could pop? + +JOHN + +What? + +LIZA + +Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop? +I've tided over times I wanted a bit of cash +that way sometimes. + +JOHN + +What could I pawn? + +LIZA + +Well, well you've a watch-chain. + +JOHN + +A bit of old leather. + +LIZA + +But what about the watch? + +JOHN + +I've no watch. + +LIZA + +0, funny having a watch-chain then. + +JOHN + +0, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal. + +LIZA + +Funny bit of a thing. What's it for? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Was it give to you? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't know how I got it. + +LIZA + +Don't know how you got it? + +JOHN + +No, I can't remember at all. But I've a +feeling about it, I can't explain what I feel; +but I don't part with it. + +LIZA + +Don't you? You might get something on +it, likely and have a square meal. + +JOHN + +I won't part with it. + +LIZA + +Why? + +JOHN + +I feel I won't. I never have. + +LIZA + +Feel you won't? + +JOHN + +Yes, I have that feeling very strongly. +I've kept it always. Everything else is gone. + +LIZA + +Had it long? + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had +it one morning in a train. It's odd that I +can't remember. + +LIZA + +But wot d'yer keep it for? + +JOHN + +Just for luck. + +[LIZA breaks into laughter.] + +LIZA + +Well, you are funny. + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is funny. + +LIZA + +You're as down in your luck as ever you +can be, and you go keeping a thing like that +for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier. + +JOHN + +Well, what would you do? + +LIZA + +Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and +I had rotten luck. Rotten luck I had. +Rotten. + +JOHN + +And what did you do? + +LIZA + +Took it back to the shop. + +JOHN + +Yes? + +LIZA + +They was quite obliging about it. Gave +me a wooden one instead, what was guaran- +teed. Luck changed very soon altogether. + +JOHN + +Could luck like mine change? + +LIZA + +Course it could. + +JOHN + +Look at me. + +LIZA + +You'll be all right one of these days. Give +me that mascot. + +JOHN + +I--I hardly like to. One has an awfully +strong feeling with it. + +LIZA + +Give it to me. It's no good. + +JOHN + +I--I don't like to. + +LIZA + +You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing +you no good. I know all about them mascots. +Give it me. + +JOHN + +Well, I'll give it you. You're the +first woman that's been kind to me since +. . . I'm on my beam ends. + +[Face in hands--tears.] + +LIZA + +There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am. +These mascots! One's better without 'em. +Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a +nice supper coming. + +[She puts it in a corner of the mantel- +piece and hammers it. It smashes. + +The photographs of the four children +change slightly. The Colonel gives place +to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red. +JOHN'S clothes become neat and tidy. The +hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather +duster. Nothing else changes.] + +A VOICE [off, in agony] + +Allah! Allah ! Allah! + +LIZA + +Some foreign gentleman must have hurt +himself. + +JOHN + +H'm. Sounds like it . . . Liza. + +[LIZA, dusting the photographs on the +wall, just behind the corner of the mantel- +piece.] + +LIZA + +Funny. Thought I--thought I 'ad a ham- +mer in my hand. + +JOHN + +Really, Liza, I often think you have. You +really should be more careful. Only--only +yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's +photograph. + +LIZA + +Thought it was a hammer. + +JOHN + +Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a +mistake you make too often, Liza. You-- +you must be more careful. + +LIZA + +Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad +an 'ammer in my 'and, though. + +[She goes to tidy the little supper table. +Enter MARY with food on a plate.] + +MARY + +I've brought you your supper, John. + +JOHN + +Thanks, Mary. I-I think I must have +taken a nap. + +MARY + +Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along +to bed now, Liza. Good gracious, it's half- +past eleven. + +[MARY makes final arrangements of +supper table.] + +LIZA + +Thank you, mum. + +[Exit ] + +JOHN + +Mary. + +MARY + +Yes, John. + +JOHN + +I--I thought I'd caught that train. + +Curtain + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg Etext of If, by Lord Dunsany + diff --git a/old/old/ifdun10.zip b/old/old/ifdun10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..30acc7d --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/ifdun10.zip diff --git a/old/old/ifdun11.txt b/old/old/ifdun11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f837795 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/ifdun11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7515 @@ +*******The Project Gutenberg Etext of If, by Lord Dunsany******* +#1 in our series by Lord Dunsany [Edward John Plunkett] + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +If + +by Lord Dunsany [Edward John Plunkett] + + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + +JOHN BEAL +MARY BEAL +LIZA +ALI +BERT, BILL: two railway porters +THE MAN IN THE CORNER +MIRALDA CLEMENT +HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN +DAOUD +ARCHIE BEAL +BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers +BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass +ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers +OMAR, a singer +ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz +THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc. + + + + +IF + + + +ACT I + +SCENE I + +A small railway station near London. +Time: Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why? What's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you better +wages nor a dog, and then they thinks they can +talk at yer and talk at yer, and say wot they +likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + + +BERT + +Why, wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let a +lidy get into a train. That's wot about. Said +I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the train +was moving. Thought it was dangerous. Thought +I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why. The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. +They writes back she shouldn't 'av got in. She +writes back she should. Then they gets on to +me. Any more of it and I'll... + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of them +passengers go jumping into trains any more, +not when they're moving, I won't. When the +train gets in, doors shut. That's the rule. +And they'll 'ave to abide by it. + +BERT + +Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if... + +BILL + +I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me on +the mat again and talk all that stuff to me. +No, if someone 'as to suffer . . . 'Ere she +is. + +[Noise of approaching train heard.] + +BERT + +Ay, that's her. + +BILL + +And shut goes the door. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BERT + +Wait a moment, Bill. + +BILL + +Not if he's . . . Not if he was ever so. + +JOHN [preparing to pass] + +Good morning. . . . + +BILL + +Can't come through. Too late. + +JOHN + +Too late? Why, the train's only just in. + +BILL + +Don't care. It's the rule. + +JOHN + +O, nonsense. [He carries on.] + +BILL + +It's too late. I tell you you can't come. + +JOHN + +But that's absurd. I want to catch my +train. + +BILL + +It's too late. + +BERT + +Let him go, Bill. + +BILL + +I'm blowed if I let him go. + +JOHN + +I want to catch my train. + +[JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed back by +the face. JOHN advances towards BILL looking +like fighting. The train has gone.] + +BILL + +Only doing my duty. + +[JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding it +isn't good enough. He shrugs his shoulders, +turns round and goes away.] + +JOHN + +I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even +with you one of these days, you . . . . . and +some way you won't expect. + +Curtain + + + + +SCENE 2 + +Yesterday evening. + +[Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY +in their suburban home.] + +JOHN + +I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to +plant an acacia? + +MARY + +An acacia, what's that, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's one of those trees that they have. + +MARY + +But why, John? + +JOHN + +Well, you see the house is called The Acacias, +and it seems rather silly not to have at least +one. + +MARY + +O, I don't think that matters. Lots of places +are called lots of things. Everyone does. + +JOHN + +Yes, but it might help the postman. + +MARY + +O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't know an +acacia if he saw it any more than I should. + +JOHN + +Quite right, Mary, you're always right. +What a clever head you've got! + +MARY + +Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if +you like. I'll ask about it at the grocer's. + +JOHN + +You can't get one there. + +MARY + +No, but he's sure to know where it can be +got. + +JOHN + +Where do they grow, Mary? + +MARY + +I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, +somewhere. + +JOHN + +Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish I +could have gone abroad for a week or so to +places like where acacias grow naturally. + +MARY + +O, would you really, John? + +JOHN + +No, not really. But I just think of it +sometimes. + +MARY + +Where would you have gone? + +JOHN + +O, I don't know. The East or some such place. +I've often heard people speak of it, and +somehow it seemed so. . . + +MARY + +The East, John? Not the East. I don't +think the East somehow is quite respectable. + +JOHN + +O well, it's all right, I never went, and +never shall go now. It doesn't matter. + +MARY [the photographs catching her eye] + +O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a +dreadful thing happened. + +JOHN + +What, Mary? + +MARY + +Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, and +when she came to Jane's she says she hadn't +really begun to dust it, only looked at it, +and it fell down, and that bit of glass is +broken right out of it. + +JOHN + +Ask her not to look at it so hard another +time. + +MARY + +O, what do you mean, John? + +JOHN + +Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, +and as I know you believe in Liza . . . + +MARY + +Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. But she mustn't look +so hard another time. + +MARY + +And it's poor little Jane's photograph. +She will feel it so. + +JOHN + +O, that's all right, we'll get it mended. + +MARY + +Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. + +JOHN + +We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy +about it she can have Alice's frame. Alice +is too young to notice it. + +MARY + +She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. + +Well, George, then. + +JOHN + +MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] + +Well, perhaps George might give up his +frame. + +JOHN + +Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make +her do it now? + +MARY + +Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. She shall +do it to-morrow by the time you get back from +the office. + +JOHN + +All right. It might have been worse. + +MARY + +It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. + +JOHN + +It might have been worse. It might have +been Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'd sooner it had been her than poor little +Jane. + +JOHN + +If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph +she'd have walked in next day and seen it for +certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd +have been trouble. + +MARY + +But, John, how could she have known? + +JOHN + +I don't know, but she would have; it's a +kind of devilish sense she has. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +What's the matter? + +MARY + +John! What a dreadful word you used. +And on a Sunday too! Really! + +JOHN + +O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. +I'm very sorry. + +[Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which +isn't, properly speaking, a gentleman at all. +Not what I should call one, that is, like. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! +Whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +He's black. + +MARY + +Black? + +JOHN [reassuring] + +O . . . yes, that would be Ali. A queer +old customer, Mary; perfectly harmless. Our +firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; +and then one day . . . + +MARY + +But what is he doing here, John? + +JOHN + +Well, one day he turned up in London; +broke, he said; and wanted the firm to give +him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for +giving him ten shillings. But I said "here's +a man that's helped us in making thousands +of pounds. Let's give him fifty." + +MARY + +Fifty pounds! + +JOHN + +Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. +Ten shillings would have been an insult to +the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. +You don't know what he'd have done. + +MARY + +Well, he doesn't want more? + +TOHN + +No, I expect he's come to thank me. He +seemed pretty keen on getting some cash. +Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was +doing in London. Never can tell with these +fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it. + +MARY + +How did he trace you here? + +JOHN + +O, got the address at the office. Briggs +and Cater won't let theirs be known. Not +got such a smart little house, I expect. + +MARY + +I don't like letting people in that you don't +know where they come from. + +JOHN + +O, he comes from the East. + +MARY + +Yes, I--I know. But the East doesn't seem +quite to count, somehow, as the proper sort +of place to come from, does it, dear? + +JOHN + +No. + +MARY + +It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some +place you can put your finger on. + +JOHN + +Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's +any harm in him. + +MARY + +Well, just for once. But we can't make a +practice of it. And you don't want to be +thinking of business on a Sunday, your only +day off. + +JOHN + +O, it isn't business, you know. He only +wants to say thank you. + +MARY + +I hope he won't say it in some queer +Eastern way. You don't know what these +people. . . . + +JOHN + +O, no. Show him up, Liza. + +LIZA + +As you like, mum. +[Exit.] + +MARY + +And you gave him fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose +that's what he got. Cater paid him. + +MARY + +It seems a lot of money. But I think, as +the man is actually coming up the stairs, +I'm glad he's got something to be grateful +for. + +[Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] + +ALI + +Protector of the Just. + +JOHN + +O, er--yes. Good evening. + +ALI + +My soul was parched and you bathed it +in rivers of gold. + +JOHN + +O, ah, yes. + +ALI + +Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal +shall be magnified and called blessed. + +JOHN + +Ha, yes. Very good of you. + +ALI [advancing, handing trinket] + +Protector of the Just, my offering. + +JOHN + +Your offering? + +ALI + +Hush. It is beyond price. I am not bidden to +sell it. I was in my extremity, but I was not +bidden to sell it. It is a token of gratitude, +a gift, as it came to me. + +JOHN + +AS it came to you? + + +ALI + +Yes, it was given me. + +JOHN + +I see. Then you had given somebody what +you call rivers of gold? + +ALI + +Not gold; it was in Sahara. + +JOHN + +O, and what do you give in the Sahara +instead of gold? + +ALI + +Water. + +JOHN + +I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +And--and what happened? + +MARY + +I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. It's a +nice little thing, but [to ALI], but you think +a lot of it, don't you? + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +But look here, what does it do? + +ALI + +Much. + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +ALI + +He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, +at night, and wishes, saying "At a certain +hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will +go back eight, ten, even twelve years if he +will, into the past, and do a thing again, or +act otherwise than he did. The day passes; +the ten years are accomplished once again; he +is here once more; but he is what he might +have become had he done that one thing +otherwise. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +I--I don't understand. + +ALI + +To-night you wish. All to-morrow you live the +last ten years; a new way, master, a new way, +how you please. To-morrow night you are here, +what those years have made you. + +JOHN + +By Jove! + +MARY + +Have nothing to do with it, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, +do you mean one could go back ten years? + + +ALI + +Even so. + + +JOHN + +Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word +for it. But look here, you can't live ten +years in a day, you know. + +ALI + +My master has power over time. + +MARY + +John, don't have anything to do with him. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. But who is your master? + +ALI + +He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in +the greenest mountains. The years are his +dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard it +safely, for his power is in this more than in +all the peaks of his native hills. See what I +give you, master. + +JOHN + +Well, really, it's very good of you. + +MARY + +Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much obliged +for your kind offer, which we are so sorry we +can't avail ourselves of. + +JOHN + +One moment, Mary. Do you mean that I can go +back ten years, and live till--till now again, +and only be away a day? + +ALI + +Start early and you will be here before midnight. + +JOHN + +Would eight o'clock do! + +ALI + +You could be back by eleven that evening. + +JOHN + +I don't quite see how ten years could go +in a single day. + +ALI + +They will go as dreams go. + +JOHN + +Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't it? + +ALI + +Time is the slave of my master + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm +only trying to see what he'll say. + +MARY + +All right, John, only . . . + +ALI + +Is there no step that you would wish +untrodden, nor stride that you would make +where once you faltered? + +JOHN + +I say, why don't you use it yourself? + +ALI + +I? I am afraid of the past. But you Engleesh, +and the great firm of Briggs, Cater, and Beal; +you are afraid of nothing. + +JOHN + +Ha, ha. Well--I wouldn't go quite as far as +that, but--well, give me the crystal. + +MARY + +Don't take it, John! Don't take it. + +JOHN + +Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. + +MARY +If it can do all that--if it can do all that . . . + +JOHN + +Well? + +MARY + +Why, you might never have met me. + +JOHN + +Never have met you? I never thought of +that. + +MARY + +Leave the past alone, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I want +to hear about it, it's so odd, it's so +what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I +ever----- [To ALI.] You mean if I work hard +for ten years, which will only be all +to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank of +England to-morrow night. + +ALI + +Even so. + +MARY + +O, don't do it, John. + +JOHN + +But you said--I'll be back here before +midnight to-morrow. + +ALI + +It is so. + +JOHN + +But the Governor of the Bank of England would +live in the City, and he'd have a much bigger +house anyway. He wouldn't live in Lewisham. + +ALI + +The crystal will bring you to this house when +the hour is accomplished, even to-morrow +night. If you be the great banker you will +perhaps come to chastise one of your slaves +who will dwell in this house. If you be head +of Briggs and Cater you will come to give an +edict to one of your firm. Perchance this +street will be yours and you will come to show +your power unto it. But you will come. + +JOHN + +And if the house is not mine? + +MARY + +John! John! Don't. + +ALI + +Still you will come. + +JOHN + +Shall I remember? + +ALI + +No. + +JOHN + +If I want to do anything different to what I +did, how shall I remember when I get back +there? + +MARY + +Don't. Don't do anything different, John. + +JOHN + +All right. + +ALI + +Choose just before the hour of the step you +desire to change. Memory lingers a little at +first, and fades away slowly. + +JOHN + +Five minutes? + +ALI + +Even ten. + +JOHN + +Then I can change one thing. After that I forget. + +ALI + +Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. + +JOHN + +Well, it's very good of you to make me this +nice present, I'm sure. + +ALI + +Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the +heart impels. So shall it come back one day to +the hills that are brighter than grass, made +richer by the gratitude of many men. And my +master shall smile thereat and the vale shall +be glad. + +JOHN + +It's very good of you, I'm sure. + +MARY + +I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering +with what's gone. + +ALI + +My master's power is in your hands. Farewell. + +[Exit.] + +JOHN + +I say, he's gone. + +MARY + +O, he's a dreadful man. + +JOHN + +I never really meant to take it. + +MARY + +O, John, I wish you hadn't + +JOHN + +Why? I'm not going to use it. + +MARY + +Not going to use it, John? + +JOHN + +No, no. Not if you don't want me to. + +MARY + +O, I'm so glad. + +JOHN + +And besides, I don't want things different. +I've got fond of this little house. And Briggs +is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit of +an ass, but there's no harm in him. In fact, +I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even change +Aunt Martha now. + +[Points at frowning framed photograph +centrally hung.] + +You remember when she first came and you said +"Where shall we hang her?" I said the cellar. +You said we couldn't. So she had to go there. +But I wouldn't change her now. I suppose there +are old watch-dogs like her in every family. I +wouldn't change anything. + +MARY + +O, John, wouldn't you really? + +JOHN + +No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I wouldn't +even change Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. I +couldn't bear to tamper with the past. You +don't know what it is, it's what's gone. But +if it really isn't gone at all, if it can be +dug up like that, why you don't know what +mightn't happen! I don't mind the future, but +if the past can come back like that.... O, +don't, don't, John. Don't think of it. It +isn't canny. There's the children, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little +ornament. I won't use it. And I tell you I'm +content. [Happily] It's no use to me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you +really? Is there nothing that you'd have had +different? I sometimes thought you'd rather +that Jane had been a boy. + +JOHN + +Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the time, +but Arthur's good enough for me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever +regret at all? + +JOHN + +Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you regret, +Mary? + +MARY + +Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would have +been better green, but you would have it red. + +JOHN + +Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I regret. + +MARY + +I don't suppose there's many men can say +that. + +JOHN + +No, I don't suppose they can. They're not all +married to you. I don't suppose many of them can. + +[MARY smiles.] + +MARY + +I should think that very few could say that +they regretted nothing . . . very few in the +whole world. + +JOHN + +Well, I won't say nothing. + +MARY + +What is it you regret, John? + +JOHN + +Well, there is one thing. + +MARY + +And what is that? + +JOHN + +One thing has rankled a bit. + +MARY + +Yes, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth mentioning. +But it rankled for years. + +What was it, John? + +MARY + +JOHN + +O, it seems silly to mention it. It was nothing. + +MARY + +But what? + +JOHN + +O, well, if you want to know, it was once when +I missed a train. I don't mind missing a +train, but it was the way the porter pushed me +out of the way. He pushed me by the face. I +couldn't hit back, because, well, you know +what lawyers make of it; I might have been +ruined. So it just rankled. It was years ago +before we married. + +MARY + +Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! + +JOHN + +Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in +spite of him. I sometimes think of it still. +Silly of me, isn't it? + +MARY + +What a brute of a man. + +JOHN + +O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. But +it rankled. + +MARY + +He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd no +right to touch you! + +JOHN + +O, well, never mind. + +MARY + +I should like to have been there. . . +I'd have . . . + +JOHN + +O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd like +to have caught it in sp . . . [An idea seizes +him.] + +MARY + +What is it? + +JOHN + +Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing +that can be helped. + +MARY + +Can be helped, John? Whatever do you mean? + +JOHN + +I mean he'd no right to stop me catching that +train. I've got the crystal, and I'll catch it +yet! + +MARY + +O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't do. + +JOHN + +No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. +And I won't. I'm too content, Mary. But this +can't alter it. This is nothing. + +MARY + +What were you going to catch the train for, John? + +JOHN + +For London. I wasn't at the office then. It +was a business appointment. There was a man +who had promised to get me a job, and I was +going up to . . . + +MARY + +John, it may alter your whole life! + +JOHN + +Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never +turned up. I got a letter from him apologising +to me before I posted mine to him. It turned +out he never meant to help me, mere +meaningless affabilities. He never came to +London that day at all. I should have taken +the next train back. That can't affect the +future. + +MARY + +N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. + +JOHN + +What difference could it make? + +MARY + +N-n-no. + +JOHN + +Think how we met. We met at Archie's wedding. +I take it one has to go to one's brother's +wedding. It would take a pretty big change to +alter that. And. you were her bridesmaid. We +were bound to meet. And having once met, well, +there you are. If we'd met by chance, in a +train, or anything like that, well, then I +admit some little change might alter it. But +when wee met at Archie's wedding and you were +her bridesmaid, why, Mary, it's a cert. +Besides, I believe in predestination. It was +our fate; we couldn't have missed it. + +MARY + +No, I suppose not; still . . + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +MARY + +I don't like it. + +JOHN + +O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that +infernal train. Just think of it, annoyed on +and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen. + +MARY + +I'd rather you didn't, John. + +JOHN + +But why? + +MARY + +O, John, suppose there's a railway accident? +You might be killed, and we should never meet. + +JOHN + +There wasn't. + +MARY + +There wasn't, John? What do you mean? + +JOHN + +There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen. +It got safely to London just ten years ago. + +MARY + +Why, nor there was. + +JOHN + +You see how groundless your fears are. I shall +catch that train, and all the rest will happen +the same as before. Just think Mary, all those +old days again. I wish I could take you with +me. But you soon will be. But just think of +the old days coming back again. Hampton Court +again and Kew, and Richmond Park again with +all the May. And that bun you bought, and the +corked ginger-beer, and those birds singing +and the 'bus past Isleworth. O, Mary, you +wouldn't grudge me that? + +MARY + +Well, well then all right, John. + +JOHN + +And you will remember there wasn't an +accident, won't you? + +MARY [resignedly, sadly] + +O, yes, John. And you won't try to get rich or +do anything silly, will you? + +JOHN + +No, Mary. I only want to catch that train. I'm +content with the rest. The same things must +happen, and they must lead me the same way, to +you, Mary. Good night, now, dear. + +MARY + +Good night? + +JOHN + +I shall stay here on the sofa holding the +crystal and thinking. Then I'll have a biscuit +and start at seven. + +MARY + +Thinking, John? What about? + +JOHN + +Getting it clear in my mind what I want to do. +That one thing and the rest the same. There +must be no mistakes. + +MARY [sadly] + +Good night, John. + +JOHN + +Have supper ready at eleven. + +MARY + +Very well, John. + +[Exit.] + +JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] + +I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. + +[He takes the crystal and closes it up in +the palm of his left hand.] + +I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and +a day, at, at--8.10 a.m. to-morrow; 8.10 a.m. +to-morrow, 8.10. + +[Re-enter MARY in doorway.] + +MARY + +John! John! You are sure he did get his fifty +pounds? + +JOHN + +Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the money? + +MARY + +You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? + +JOHN + +Cater paid him, I didn't. + +MARY + +Are you sure that Cater didn't give him ten +shillings? + +JOHN + +It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have +done! + +MARY + +O, John! + +JOHN + +Hmm. + + +Curtain + + + + +SCENE 3 + +Scene: As in Act I, Scene I. +Time. Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why, what's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up, then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you better +wages nor a dog, and then they thinks they can +talk at yer and talk at yer, and say wot they +likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + +BERT + +Why? Wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let a +lidy get into a train. That's wot about. Said +I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the train +was moving. Thought it was dangerous. Thought +I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT? + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why? The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. +They writes back she shouldn't 'av got in. She +writes back she should. Then they gets on to +me. Any more of it and I'll. . . + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family to +consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of them +passengers go jumping into trains any more, +not when they're moving, I won't. When the +train gets in, doors shut. That's the rule, +and they'll have to abide by it. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BILL [touching his hat] + +Good morning, sir. + +[JOHN does not answer, but walks to the +door between them.] + +Carry your bag, sir? + +JOHN + +Go to hell! + +[Exit through door.] + +BILL + +Ullo. + +BERT + +Somebody's been getting at 'im. + +BILL + +Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young feller. + +BERT + +Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule? + +BILL + +Never knew 'im like this. + +BERT + +You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave yer? + +BILL + +Never in my life. + +BERT + +Well, I never. + +BILL + +'Ad some trouble o' some kind. + +BERT + +Must 'ave. + +[Train is heard.] + +BILL + +Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying . . . + +Curtain + +SCENE 4 + +In a second-class railway carriage. + +Time: Same morning as Scene I, Act I. + +Noise, and a scene drawn past the windows. The +scene, showing a momentary glimpse of fair +English hills, is almost entirely placards, +"GIVE HER BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," +alternately, for ever. + +Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man. + +All sit in stoical silence like the two images +near Luxor. The man has the window seat, and +therefore the right of control over the window. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having the window open? + +THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his shoulders +in a shivery way] + +Er--certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. He +opens the window.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Thank you so much. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict +her. Stoical silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having it shut now? I think it is +rather cold. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Certainly. + +[He shuts it. Silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +I think I'd like the window open again now +for a bit. It is rather stuffy, isn't it? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Well, I think it's very cold. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +O, do you? But would you mind opening +it for me? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't mind. + +[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and her +pretty face expresses the resignation of the +Christian martyr in the presence of lions. +This for the benefit of John.] + +JOHN + +Allow me, madam. + +[He leans across the window's rightful owner, +a bigger man than he, and opens his window. + +MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders +and, quite sensibly, turns to his paper.] + +MIRALDA + +O, thank you so much. + +JOHN + +Don't mention it. + +[Silence again.] + +VOICES OF PORTERS [Off] + +Fan Kar, Fan Kar. + +[MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.] + +MIRALDA + +Could you tell me where this is? + +JOHN + +Yes. Elephant and Castle. + +MIRALDA + +Thank you so much. It was kind of you to +protect me from that horrid man. He wanted +to suffocate me. + +JOHN + +O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very glad. + +MIRALDA + +I should have been afraid to have done it in +spite of him. It was splendid of you. + +JOHN + +O, that was nothing. + +MIRALDA + +O, it was, really. + +JOHN + +Only too glad to help you in any little way. + +MIRALDA + +It was so kind of you. + +JOHN + +O, not at all. + +[Silence for a bit.] + +MIRALDA + +I've nobody to help me. + +JOHN + +Er, er, haven't you really? + +MIRALDA + +No, nobody. + +JOHN + +I'd be very glad to help you in any little +way. + +MIRALDA + +I wonder if you could advise me. + +JOHN + +I--I'd do my best. + +MIRALDA + +You see, I have nobody to advise me. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. + +MIRALDA + +I live with my aunt, and she doesn't understand. +I've no father or mother. + +JOHN + +O, er, er, really? + +MIRALDA + +No. And an uncle died and he left me a hundred +thousand pounds. + +JOHN + +Really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it out of +contrariness as much as anything. He was always +like that to me. + +JOHN + +Was he? Was he really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per cent. +He never liked me. Thought I was too--I don't +know what. + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +That was five years ago, and I've never got +a penny of it. + +JOHN + +Really. But, but that's not right. + +MIRALDA [sadly] + +No. + +JOHN + +Where's it invested? + +MIRALDA + +In Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Where's that? + +MIRALDA + +I don't quite know. I never was good at geography. +I never quite knew where Persia ends. + +JOHN + +And what kind of an investment was it? + +MIRALDA + +There's a pass in some mountains that they can +get camels over, and a huge toll is levied on +everything that goes by; that is the custom of +the tribe that lives there, and I believe the +toll is regularly collected. + +JOHN + +And who gets it? + +MIRALDA + +The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben +Hussein. But my uncle lent him all this money, +and the toll on the camels was what they call +the security. They always carry gold and +turquoise, you know. + +JOHN + +Do they? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, they get it from the rivers. + +JOHN + +I see. + +MIRALDA + +It does seem a shame his not paying, doesn't it? + +JOHN + +A shame? I should think it is. An awful shame. +Why, it's a crying shame. He ought to go to +prison. + +MIRALDA + +Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard to +find him. It isn't as if it was this side of +Persia. It's being on the other side that is +such a pity. If only it was in a country like, +like . . . + +JOHN + +I'd soon find him. I'd . . . Why, a man like +that deserves anything. + +MIRALDA + +It is good of you to say that. + +JOHN + +Why, I'd . . . And you say you never got a penny? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Well, that is a shame. I call that a downright +shame. + +MIRALDA + +Now, what ought I to do? + +JOHN + +Do? Well, now, you know in business there's +nothing like being on the spot. When you're on the +spot you can--but then, of course, it's so far. + +MIRALDA + +It is, isn't it? + +JOHN + +Still, I think you should go if you could. +If only I could offer to help you in any way, +I would gladly, but of course . . . + +MIRALDA + +What would you do? + +JOHN + +I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and +then . . . + +MIRALDA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and make +him see that you didn't keep all that money that +belonged to someone else. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? + +JOHN + +Nothing would please me better. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? Would you go all that way? + +JOHN + +It's just the sort of thing that I should like, +apart from the crying shame. The man ought +to be . . . + +MIRALDA + +We're getting into Holborn. Would you come and +lunch somewhere with me and talk it over? + +JOHN + +Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to see a +man on business first. I've come up to see +him. And then after that, after that there was +something I wanted to do after that. I can't +think what it was. But something I wanted to +do after that. O, heavens, what was it? + +[Pause.] + +MIRALDA + +Can't you think? + +JOHN + +No. O, well, it can't have been so very important. +And yet . . . Well, where shall we lunch? + +MIRALDA + +Gratzenheim's. + +JOHN + +Right. What time? + +MIRALDA + +One-thirty. Would that suit? + +JOHN + +Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like Hussein in +prison. I'd like . . . O, I beg your pardon. + +[He hurries to open the door. Exit MIRALDA.] + +Now what was it I wanted to do afterwards? + +[Throws hand to forehead.] + +O, never mind. + +Curtain + + + +ACT II + +SCENE + +JOHN'S tent in Al Shaldomir. There are two +heaps of idols, left and right, lying upon the +ground inside the tent. DAOUD carries another +idol in his arms. JOHN looks at its face. + +Six months have elapsed since the scene +in the second-class railway carriage. + +JOHN BEAL + +This god is holy. + +[He points to the left heap. DAOUD +carries it there and lays it on the heap.] + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You are in no wise to call me great master. +Have not I said so? I am not your master. I am +helping you people. I know better than you +what you ought to do, because I am English. +But that's all. I'm not your master, See? + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, go and get some more idols. Hurry. + +DAOUD + +Great master, I go. + +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't make these people out. + +DAOUD [returning] + +I have three gods. + +JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to +the two smaller idols first] + +These two are holy. This one is unholy. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Put them on the heap. + +[DAOUD does so, two left, one right.] + +Get some more. + +[DAOUD salaams. Exit.] + +[Looking at right heap.] What a--what a +filthy people + +[Enter DAOUD with two idols.] + +JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny] + +This god is holy, this is unholy. + +[Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bowler" hat.] + +Why, Archie, this is splendid of you! You've +come! Why, that's splendid! All that way! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +Archie, it's grand of you to come! I never +ought to have asked it of you, only . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But what in the world +are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +Archie, it's splendid of you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all this? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, this. Well, well they're the very oddest +people here. It's a long story. But I wanted +to tell you first how enormously grateful I am +to you for coming. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But I want to know what +you're doing with all these genuine antiques. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, Archie, the fact of it is they're a real +odd lot of people here. I've learnt their +language, more or less, but I don't think I +quite understand them yet. A lot of them are +Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed, you know. +He's dead. But a lot of them worship these +things, and . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what have you got 'em all in here for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with +them, but, well, I simply had to. You see +there's two sorts of idols here; they offer +fruit and rats to some of them; they lay them +on their hands or their laps. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why do they offer them rats? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. They don't know either. It's +the right thing to do out here, it's been the +right thing for hundreds of years; nobody +exactly knows why. It's like the bows we have +on evening shoes, or anything else. But it's +all right. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are you putting them in heaps for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because there's the other kind, the ones +with wide mouths and rust round them. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They offer blood to them, Archie. They pour it +down their throats. Sometimes they kill people, +sometimes they only bleed them. It depends how +much blood the idol wants. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +How much blood it wants? Good Lord! How do they +know? + +JOHN BEAL + +The priests tell them. Sometimes they fill +them up to their necks--they're all hollow, +you know. In spring it's awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why are they worse in spring? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know. The priests ask for more blood +then. Much more. They say it always was so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're stopping it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm letting +them worship those. Of course, it's idolatry +and all that kind of thing, but I don't like +interfering short of actual murder. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And they're obeying you? + +JOHN BEAL + +'M, y-yes. I think so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You must have got a great hold over them. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know about that. It's the +pass that counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +The pass? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that place you came over. It's the +only way anyone can get here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass +affect these idols? + +JOHN BEAL + +It affects everything here. If that pass were +closed no living man would ever enter or leave, +or even hear of, this country. It's absolutely +cut off except for that one pass. Why, Archie, +it isn't even on the map. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I know. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody. +No one else counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And who does own it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called +Hussein, but Miss Clement's uncle, a man +called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer, +seems to have come this way; and I think he +understood what this pass is worth. Anyhow, he +lent Hussein a big sum of money and got an +acknowledgment from Hussein. Old Hinnard must +have been a wonderfully shrewd man. For that +acknowledgment is no more legal than an +I.O.U., and Hussein is simply a brigand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Not very good security. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself +respects that piece of parchment he signed. +There's the name of some god or other written +on it Hussein is frightened of. Now you see +how things are. That pass is as holy as all +the gods that there are in Al Shaldomir. +Hussein possesses it. But he owes an enormous +sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am here as +her agent; and you've come to help me like a +great sportsman. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, never mind that. Well, it all seems pretty +simple. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, Archie. Hussein admits the +debt, but . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what he'll do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Wants watching, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of responsible +for all these silly people. Somebody's got to +look after them. Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Bring in some more gods. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't get them to stop calling me absurd +titles. They're so infernally Oriental. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's got two big ones this time. + +JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE] + +You see, there is rust about their mouths. +[To DAOUD]: They are both unholy. + +[He points to R. heap, and DAOUD +puts them there. To DAOUD.] + +Bring in some more. + +DAOUD + +Great master, there are no more gods in +Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN BEAL + +It is well. + +DAOUD + +What orders, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Listen. At night you shall come and take these +gods away. These shall be worshipped again in +their own place, these you shall cast into the +great river and tell no man where you cast them. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will do this, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am sorry to make you do it. You are sad that you +have to do it. Yet it must be done. + +DAOUD + +Yes, I am sad, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why are you sad, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Great master, in times you do not know these +gods were holy. In times you have not guessed. +In old centuries, master, perhaps before the +pass. Men have prayed to them, sorrowed before +them, given offerings to them. The light of +old hearths has shone on them, flames from old +battles. The shadow of the mountains has +fallen on them, so many times, master, so many +times. Dawn and sunset have shone on them, +master, like firelight flickering; dawn and +sunset, dawn and sunset, flicker, flicker, +flicker for century after century. They have +sat there watching the dawns like old men by +the fire. They are so old, master, so old. And +some day dawn and sunset will die away and +shine on the world no more, and they would +have still sat on in the cold. And now they +go. . . They are our history, master, they are +our old times. Though they be bad times they +are our times, master; and now they go. I am +sad, master, when the old gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they are bad gods, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +I am sad when the bad gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +They must go, Daoud. See, there is no +one watching. Take them now. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +[He takes up the largest of the gods with +rust.] + +Come, Aho-oomlah, thou shalt not drink +Nideesh. + +JOHN BEAL + +Was Nideesh to have been sacrificed? + +DAOUD + +He was to have been drunk by Aho-oomlah. + +JOHN BEAL + +Nideesh. Who is he? + +DAOUD + +He is my son. + +[Exit with Aho-oomlah. + JOHN BEAL almost gasps.] + +ARCHIE BEAL [who has been looking round the +tent] + +What has he been saying? + +JOHN BEAL + +They're--they're a strange people. I +can't make them out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Is that the heap that oughtn't to be worshipped? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, do you know, I'm going to chuck this hat +there. It doesn't seem to me somehow to be any +more right here than those idols would be at +home. Odd isn't it? Here goes. + +[He throws hat on right heap of idols. + JOHN BEAL does not smile.] + +Why, what's the matter? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't like to see a decent Christian hat +among these filthy idols. They've all got rust +on their mouths. I don't like to see it, +Archie; it's sort of like what they call an +omen. I don't like it. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Do they keep malaria here? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't think so. Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Then what's the matter, Johnny? Your nerves are +bad. + +JOHN BEAL + +You don't know these people, and I've brought +you out here. I feel kind of responsible. If +Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't know what +he'd do, with all those idols and all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He'll give 'em a drink, you mean. + +JOHN BEAL + +Don't, Archie. There's no saying. And I +feel responsible for you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, they can have my hat. It looks silly, +somehow. I don't know why. What are we going +to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, now that you've come we can go ahead. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Righto. What at? + +JOHN BEAL + +We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and get +everything clear in black and white, and see +just what he owes to Miss Miralda Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But they don't keep accounts here. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you know? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, of course they don't. One can see that. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they must. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, you haven't changed a bit for your six +months here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Haven't changed? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. Just quietly thinking of business. +You'll be a great business man, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we must do business; that's what I came +here for. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You'll never make these people do it. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, what do you suggest? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Let's have a look at old Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's what I have been waiting for. Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Master. [Enters.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass and +beat on the outer door. Say that I desire to +see him. Pray him to come to my tent. + +[DAOUD bows and Exit.] + +[To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace +to ask Hussein to come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lives in a palace, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place. +It's bigger than the Mansion House, much. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're going to teach him to keep +accounts. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems almost +like being rude to the Lord Mayor. But there's +two things I can't stand--cheating in business +is one and murder's another. I've got to +interfere. You see, if one happens to know the +right from wrong as we do, we've simply got to +tell people who don't. But it isn't pleasant. +I almost wish I'd never come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, it's the greatest sport in the world. +It's splendid. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see it that way. To me those idols +are just horrid murder. And this man owes +money to this girl with no one to look after +her, and he's got to pay. But I hate being +rude to a man in a place like the Mansion +House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord, +who am I? It seems such cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is +she pretty? + +JOHN BEAL + +What, Miss Miralda? Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what I mean is--what's she like? + +JOHN BEAL + +Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say. +She's, she's tall and she's fair and she's got +blue eyes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is +she? How does she strike you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets +this money, and she hasn't got any job that's +any good, and no real prospects bar this, +and nobody particular by birth, and doesn't +know anybody who is, and lives in the least +fashionable suburb and can only just afford +a second-class fare and . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, yes, go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +And yet somehow she sort of seems like +a--like a queen. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lord above us! And what kind of a queen? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. Well, look here, Archie, +it's only my impression. I don't know her +well yet. It's only my impression. I only +tell you in absolute confidence. You won't +pass it on to anybody, of course. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. Go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, only she seemed more +like well, a kind of autocrat, you know, +who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't +mean that, only . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +So you're not going to marry her? + +JOHN BEAL + +Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd +never dare ask her. She's not that sort. I +tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good +Lord!) she'd be a queen if it wasn't for +Hussein, or something very like one. We +can't go marrying queens. Anyhow, not +one like her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not one like her? + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you--she's a--well, a kind of goddess. +You couldn't ask her if she loved you. It +would be such, such . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Such what? + +JOHN BEAL + +Such infernal cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with +her. But it seems to me you'll be seeing a +good deal of her some day if we pull this off. +And then, my boy-o, you'll be going and +getting in love with her. + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to +the Queen of Sheba. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you +from her all I can. + +JOHN BEAL + +Protect me from her? Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because there's lots of other girls +and it seems to me you might be happier with +some of them. + +JOHN BEAL + +But you haven't even seen her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect +you I somehow think I will. And if I'm not +. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, and what then? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does +everything. I can't protect you. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's nonsense all right, Archie, but . . . + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike +Bluebeard.] + +JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] +My brother. + +[ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. +HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is +over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and +Hussein then bow to each other.] + +HUSSEIN + +You desired my presence. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am honoured. + +HUSSEIN + +And I. + +JOHN BEAL + +The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, +lent you one thousand greater gold pieces, +which in our money is one hundred thousand +pounds, as you acknowledge. [Hussein nods his +head.] And every year you were to pay him for +this two hundred and fifty of your greater +gold pieces--as you acknowledge also. + +HUSSEIN + +Even so. + +JOHN BEAL + +And this you have not yet had chance to +pay, but owe it still. + +HUSSEIN + +I do. + +JOHN BEAL + +And now Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with him. + +JOHN BEAL + +His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who +instructs me to be her agent. What have you +to say? + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +You acknowledge your debt to this lady, +Miss Miralda Clement? + +HUSSEIN + +I know her not. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will not pay your debt? + +HUSSEIN + +I will pay. + +JOHN BEAL + +If you bring the gold to my tent, my +brother will take it to Miss Clement. + +HUSSEIN + +I do not pay to Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +To whom do you pay? + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will you pay to Hinnard? + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried in the sea . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +He is not buried at sea. + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried by any river I go to the god +of rivers. + +JOHN BEAL + +He is buried on land near no river. + +HUSSEIN + +Therefore I will go to a bronze god of earth, +very holy, having the soil in his care and the +things of earth. I will take unto him the +greater pieces of gold due up to the year when +the white traveller died, and will melt them +in fire at his feet by night on the mountains, +saying, "O, Lruru-onn (this is his name) take +this by the way of earth to the grave of +Hinnard." And so I shall be free of my debt +before all gods. + +JOHN BEAL + +But not before me. I am English. And +we are greater than gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that, Johnny? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay, but I told him we're English +and that they're greater than all his bronze +gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's right, Johnny. + +[HUSSEIN looks fiercely at Archie. +He sees Archie's hat lying before a big +idol. He points at the hat and looks in +the face of the idol.] + +HUSSEIN [to the idol] +Drink! Drink! + +[He bows. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that he's saying? + +JOHN BEAL [meditatively] +O, nothing--nothing. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He won't pay, oh? + +JOHN BEAL + +No, not to Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Who to? + +JOHN BEAL + +To one of his gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That won't do. + +JOHN BEAL + +No. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What'll we do? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in +England. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, it isn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +If we were in England . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I know; if we were in England you could +call a policeman. I tell you what it is, +Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I tell you what; you want to see more of +Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because at the present moment our +friend Hussein is a craftier fellow than you, +and looks like getting the best of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help +us? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because you want to be a bit craftier +than Hussein, and I fancy she might make +you. + +JOHN BEAL + +She? How? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're mostly made what we are by some +woman or other. We think it's our own +cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are +you're no match for Hussein, but if you +altered . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, Archie; where did you get all those +ideas from? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +You never used to talk like that. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, well. + +JOHN BEAL + +You haven't been getting in love, Archie, +have you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda. +I got a letter from her the same day I got +yours. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What does she say? + +JOHN BEAL + +I couldn't make it out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What were her words? + +JOHN BEAL + +She said she was going into it closer. She +underlined closer. What could she mean by +that? How could she get closer? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, the same way as I did. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you mean? I don't understand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +By coming here. + +JOHN BEAL + +By coming here? But she can't come here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because it's impossible. Absolutely impossible. +Why--good Lord--she couldn't come here. Why, she'd +want a chaperon and a house and--and--everything. +Good Lord, she couldn't come here. It would +be--well it would be impossible--it couldn't be +done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, all right. Then I don't know what she +meant. + +JOHN BEAL + +Archie! You don't really think she'd come +here? You don't really think it, do you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of +girl might do, but of course I can't say . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Good Lord, Archie! That would be awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? But what would I do? Where +would she go? Where would her chaperon +go? The chaperon would be some elderly +lady. Why, it would kill her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, if it did you've never met her, so you +needn't go into mourning for an elderly lady +that you don't know; not yet, anyway. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, of course not. You're laughing at me, +Archie. But for the moment I took you +seriously. Of course, she won't come. One +can go into a thing closely without doing it +absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't +it be an awful situation if she did. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +All alone with me here? No, impossible. +And the country isn't civilised. + +ARCHIE BEAL. + +Women aren't civilised. + +JOHN BEAL + +Women aren't . . .? Good Lord, Archie, +what an awful remark. What do you mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're tame, they're wild. We like all the +dull things and the quiet things, they like +all the romantic things and the dangerous +things. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, Archie, it's just the other way about. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and +all the dangerous things. But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? Because we like them, I suppose. +I can't think of any other reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I hate danger. Don't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--well, yes, I suppose I do, really. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course you do. We all do. It's the women +that put us up to it. She's putting you up to +this. And the more she puts you up to the more +likely is Hussein to get it in his fat neck. + +JOHN BEAL + +But--but you don't mean you'd hurt Hussein? +Not--not badly, I mean. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're under her orders, Johnny. See what +she says. + +JOHN BEAL + +You, you don't really think she'll come here? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course I do, and the best thing too. +It's her show; she ought to come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but you don't understand. She's +just a young girl, A girl like Miss Miralda +couldn't come out here over the pass and +down these mountains, she'd never stand it, +and as for the chaperon . . . You've +never met Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to +get you to go from Bromley to this place can +look after herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see what that's got to do with it. +She was in trouble and I had to help her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way +here from Blackheath, and everyone will have +to help her. + +JOHN BEAL + +What beats me is how you can have the +very faintest inkling of what she's like +without ever having seen her and without my +having spoken of her to you for more than a +minute. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird, +you're not a traveller by nature, barring your +one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took +you there. And contrariwise, as they say in a +book you've never read, you're a level-headed +business man and a hardworking respectable +stay-at-home. You meet a girl in a train, and +the next time I see you you're in a place that +isn't marked on the map and telling it what +gods it ought to worship and what gods it +ought to have agnosticism about. Well, I say +some girl. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must say you make the most extra- +ordinary deductions, but it was awfully good +of you to come, and I ought to be grateful; +and I am, too, I'm awfully grateful; and I +ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go +ahead. You shall say what you like and do +what you like. It isn't many brothers that +would do what you've done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's nothing. I like this country. +I'm glad I came. And if I can help you with +Hussein, why all the better. + +JOHN BEAL + +It's an awful country, Archie, but we've +got to see this through. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Does she know all about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, everything. I've written fully. + +OMAR [Off] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways . . . + +JOHN BEAL [shouting| + +O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said it +was an awful country. They sit down outside +one's tent and do that kind of thing for no +earthly reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I'd let them sing. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, you can't have people doing that kind of +thing. + +OMAR [in doorway] + +Master, I go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why do you come? + +OMAR + +I came to sing a joyous song to you, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why did you want to sing me a joyous +song? + +OMAR + +Because a lady is riding out of the West. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +A lady out of . . . Good Lord! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's coming, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said a lady; +there'd be the chaperon too. There'd be two of +them if it was Miss Miralda. But he said a +lady. One lady. It can't be her. A girl like +that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean off the map. +Oh, no, it isn't possible. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I wouldn't worry. + +JOHN BEAL + +Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the +situation's impossible. People would talk. +Don't you see what people would say? And where +could they go? Who would look after them? Do +try and understand how awful it is. But it +isn't. It's impossible. It can't be them. For +heaven's sake run out and see if it is; and +(good Lord!) I haven't brushed my hair all +day, and, and--oh, look at me. + +[He rushes to camp mirror. Exit ARCHIE. + +JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately. + +Enter ARCHIE.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +It's what you call THEM. + +JOHN BEAL + +What I call THEM? Whatever do you mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's her. She's just like what you said. + +JOHN BEAL + +But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can +never have been able to afford a horse. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's on a camel. She'll be here in a moment. +[He goes to door.] Hurry up with that hair; +she's dismounted. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, Lord! What's the chaperon like? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, she's attending to that herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +Attending to it herself? What do you mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I expect she'll attend to most things. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in doorway of tent, +pulling back flap a little.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Who are you? + +HAFIZ + +I show the gracious lady to your tent. + +[Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing +a smile to HAFIZ.] + +MIRALDA + +Hullo, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--er--how do you do? + +[She looks at ARCHIE.] + +O, this is my brother--Miss Clement. + +MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL + +How do you do? + +MIRALDA + +I like this country. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid I hardly expected you. + +MIRALDA + +Didn't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +No. You see er--it's such a long way. +And wasn't it very expensive? + +MIRALDA + +Well, the captain of the ship was very kind +to me. + +JOHN BEAL + +O! But what did you do when you landed? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some Arabs coming this way +in a caravan. They were really very good to +me too. + +JOHN BEAL + +But the camel? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some people the other side of +the mountains. Everybody has been very +kind about it. And then there was the man +who showed me here. He's called Hafiz el +Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think? + +JOHN BEAL + +But, you know, this country, Miss Clement, I'm +half afraid it's hardly--isn't it, Archie? +Er--how long did you think of staying? + +MIRALDA + +O, a week or so. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what you'll think of Al +Shaldomir. I'm afraid you'll find it . . . + +MIRALDA + +Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the +mountains, and the one pass, and no record of +it anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely. + +JOHN BEAL + +You see, I'm afraid--what I mean is I'm +afraid the place isn't even on the map! + +MIRALDA + +O, that's lovely of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +All decent places are. + +MIRALDA + +You mean if a place is on the map we've got to +behave accordingly. But if not, why . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Hussein won't pay. + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a +savage-looking brigand. + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. + +[ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling +sometimes. + +Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the unholy heap and +takes away two large idols, one under each +arm. Exit.] + +What's that, Mr. Beal? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible. I +told you it was an awful country. They pray to +these idols here, and some are all right, +though of course it's terribly blasphemous, +but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well that +heap is very bad indeed. + +MIRALDA + +What do they do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They kill people. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How? + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid they pour their blood down those +horrible throats. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How do you know? + +JOHN BEAL + +I've seen them do it, and those mouths +are all rusty. But it's all right now. It +won't happen any more. + +MIRALDA + +Won't it? Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're +all going to be thrown into the river. + +MIRALDA + +Have you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now. +They won't do it any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. + +JOHN BEAL + +What, what is it? I promise you that's all +right. They won't do that any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. I've never known anyone that tried +to govern a country or anything of that sort, +but . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put +them right. . . . I'd be very glad of your +advice. . . Of course, I'm only here in +your name. + +MIRALDA + +What I mean is that I'd always thought +that the one thing you shouldn't do, if you +don't mind my saying so. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +No, certainly. + +MIRALDA + +Was to interfere in people's religious beliefs. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but I don't think you quite understand. +The priests knife these people in the throat, +boys and girls, and then acolytes lift them up +and the blood runs down. I've seen them. + +MIRALDA + +I think it's best to leave religion to the +priests. They understand that kind of thing. + +[JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror and looks +at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns the glance; there is +very nearly a twinkle in ARCHIE's eyes.] + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +What do you think, Archie? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Poor fellow. We'd better send for him. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you say "poor fellow"? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's awful +to be in debt. I'd sooner almost anything +happened to me than to owe a lot of money. + +MIRALDA + +Your remark didn't sound very complimentary. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt. +And I should hate owing money to you, +Because . . . + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Because I should so awfully want to pay it. + +MIRALDA + +I see. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all I meant. + +MIRALDA + +Does Hussein awfully want to pay it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He +will then, of course. + +[Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy heap.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, for the present these gods must stay. +Aho-oomlah's gone, but the rest must stay for +the present. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, go once more to the palace of the +Lord of the Pass and beat the outer door. +Say that the great lady herself would see him. +The great lady, Miss Clement, the white +traveller's heiress. + +DAOUD + +Yes, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hasten. + +[Exit DAOUD.] + +I have sent him for Hussein. + +MIRALDA + +I don't know their language. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will see him, and I'll tell you what he +says. + +MIRALDA [to ARCHIE] + +Have you been here long? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. I think he wrote to me by the same +mail as he wrote to you (if they have mails +here). I came at once. + +MIRALDA + +So did I; but you weren't on the Empress +of Switzerland. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, I came round more by land. + +JOHN BEAL + +You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein +in here to see you. He's such a--he's rather +a . . . + +MIRALDA + +What's the matter with him? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and +one doesn't know what he'll do. + +MIRALDA + +Well, we must see him first and hear what +he has to say before we take any steps. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what do you propose to do? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or +gives up the security . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +The security is the pass. + +MIRALDA + +Yes. If he gives up that or pays . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +You know he's practically king of the +whole country. It seems rather cheek almost +my sending for him like this. + +MIRALDA + +He must come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what are you going to do? + +MIRALDA + +If he gives up the pass . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be . . . +you'd be a kind of queen of it all. + +MIRALDA + +Well, if he does that, all right. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +But what if he doesn't? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he doesn't pay . . . + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[Enter HUSSEIN.] + +HUSSEIN + +Greeting once more. + +JOHN BEAL + +Again greeting. . . . The great lady, +Miss Clement, is here. + +[HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each +other.] + +You will pay to Miss Clement and not to your +god of bronze. On the word of an Englishman, +your god of bronze shall not have one gold +piece that belongs to the great lady! + +HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous] + +On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only +pay to Hinnard. + +[He stands smiling while MIRALDA regards him. +Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do now? + +JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA] + +I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to +introduce you to like that. I'm sorry he came +now. + +MIRALDA + +O, I like him, I think he looks splendid. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are we to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What do you say, Miss Clement? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, what do you feel we ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to +you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, it's your money. What do you think +we really ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, of course, I think you ought to kill +Hussein. + +[JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look +at each other a little startled.] + +JOHN BEAL + +But wouldn't that--wouldn't that be--murder? + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, according to the English law. + +JOHN BEAL + +I see; you mean--you mean we're not--but +we are English. + +MIRALDA + +I mean it wouldn't be murder--by your +law, unless you made it so. + +JOHN BEAL + +By my law? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, if you can interfere with their religion +like this, and none of them say a word, +why--you can make any laws you like. + +JOHN BEAL + +But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the +Pass, and that's everything here. I'm nobody. + +MIRALDA + +O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's +different. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I think she means that if Hussein weren't +there there'd be only you. Of course, I don't +know. I've only just come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we can't kill Hussein! + +[MIRALDA begins to cry.] + +O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss Clement! +I'm awfully sorry if I've said anything you +didn't like. I wouldn't do that for worlds. +I'm awfully sorry. It's a beastly country, I +know. I'm really sorry you came. I feel it's +all my fault. I'm really awfully sorry. . . + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. Never mind. I was so helpless, and +I asked you to help me. I never ought to have +done it. I oughtn't to have spoken to you at +all in that train without being introduced; +but I was so helpless. And now, and now, I +haven't a penny in the world, and, O, I don't +know what to do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Anything in the wide world. Please, please +don't cry. We'll do anything. + +MIRALDA + +I . . . I only, I only wanted to--to kill +Hussein. But never mind, it doesn't matter +now. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we, +Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. I--I +suppose he deserves it, doesn't he? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose he does. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled. +My brother and I will talk it over. + +MIRALDA [still sniping] + +And--and--don't hang him or anything--he looks +so fine. . . . I--I wouldn't like him treated +like that. He has such a grand beard. He ought +to die fighting. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement. + +MIRALDA + +It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's +sweet of both of you. I don't know what I d +have done without you. I seemed to know +it that day the moment I saw you. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all right. + +MIRALDA + +Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the +trouble. That's what I've been thinking of + +MIRALDA + +Why, isn't there . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to +do, Archie. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I--I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement +would have a scheme. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL] + +I rely on you, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +I--I; but what can I . . . You see, +you're all alone. If you'd anyone with you, +you could have . . . + +MIRALDA + +I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt. +But on the whole I thought it better not to +tell anyone. + +JOHN BEAL + +Not to tell . . . + +MIRALDA + +No, on the whole I didn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +I say, Archie, what are we to do? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Here's Daoud. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +JOHN BEAL + +The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir! + +DAOUD + +I have brought two watchers of the door-step +to guard the noble lady. + +JOHN BEAL + +He says he's brought two watchers of the +doorstep to look after Miss Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go +anywhere now. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, really, that is better. Yes that will +be all right. We can find a room for you now. +The trouble was your being alone. I hope +you'll like them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them +to enter here. + +DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway] + +Ho! Enter! + +JOHN BEAL + +That's all right, Archie, isn't it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a +chaperon, black or white. + +JOHN BEAL + +You won't mind their being black, will you, +Miss Clement? + +MIRALDA + +No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse +than white ones. + +[Enter BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA +two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock +fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at +them. They begin to fan slightly.] + +DAOUD + +The watchers of the doorstep. + +JOHN BEAL + +Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may +not guard a lady's door. + +[BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile +ingratiatingly.] + +We are not men. + +BAZZALOL [bowing] + +Curtain + +Six and a half years elapse + + + +THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES + +When morn is bright on the mountains olden + Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day, + When morn is bright and the marshes golden, +Where shall the lost lights fade away? + And where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows + Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray, +And the water is streaked with the flash of +swallows + And all through summer the iris sway. + But where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +When night is black in the iris marshes. + + + +ACT III + +SCENE I + +Six and a half years later. +Al Shaldomir. +A room in the palace. + +MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions, +JOHN beside her. + +Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them. + +OMAR [declaiming to a zither] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God + And after Paradise, all praise. + Thou art the theme of all their lays. +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir. . . . + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Omar. + +OMAR + +O lady, I depart. +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA [languidly] + +John, John. I wish you'd marry me. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you're thinking of those old customs +again that we left behind us seven years ago. +What's the good of it? + +MIRALDA + +I had a fancy that I wished you would. + +JOHN + +What's the good of it? You know you are my +beloved. There are none of those clergymen +within hundreds of miles. What's the good of +it? + +MIRALDA + +We could find one, John. + +JOHN + +O, yes, I suppose we could, but . . . + +MIRALDA + +Why won't you? + +JOHN + +I told you why. + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, that instinct that you must not +marry. That's not your reason, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, it is. + +MIRALDA + +It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason. +It's no reason at all. There's some other +reason. + +JOHN + +No, there isn't. But I feel that in my +bones. I don't know why. You know that +I love none else but you. Besides, we're +never going back, and it doesn't matter. +This isn't Blackheath. + +MIRALDA + +So I must live as your slave. + +JOHN + +No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my +slave. Did not the singer compare our love to +the desire of the nightingale for the evening +star? All know that you are my queen. + +MIRALDA + +They do not know at home. + +JOHN + +Home? Home? How could they know? +What have we in common with home? Rows +and rows of little houses; and if they hear a +nightingale there they write to the papers. +And--and if they saw this they'd think they +were drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd. +What has set you thinking of home? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +But I am not a king. I am only Shereef. + +MIRALDA + +You are all-powerful here, John, you can do +what you please, if you wish to. You don't +love me at all. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't +I kill Hussein for you? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, but you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +And Hussein's people killed Archie. That +was for you too. I brought my brother out +here to help you. He was engaged to be +married, too. + +MIRALDA + +But you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves +the iris marshes. You know the song they +sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III) + +MIRALDA + +Then why won't you marry me? + +JOHN + +I told you, I told you. I had a dream about +the future. I forgot the dream, but I know +I was not to marry. I will not wrong the +future. + +MIRALDA + +Don't be crazy. + +JOHN + +I will have what fancies I please, crazy or +sane. Am I not Shereef of Shaldomir? Who +dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +It is not my wish. + +MIRALDA + +I will, I will, I will. + +JOHN + +Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast +into a well and take twenty of the fairest +daughters of Al Shaldomir in your place, who +can gainsay me? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +O, do not be tiresome. + +MIRALDA + +Was it not my money that brought you here? Was +it not I who said "Kill Hussein"? What power +could you have had, had Hussein lived? What +would you have been doing now, but for me? + +JOHN + +I don't know, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Catching some silly train to the City. +Working for some dull firm. Living in some +small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought +you from all that, and you won't make me a +queen. + +JOHN + +Is it not enough that you are my beloved? +You know there is none other but you. Is +it not enough, Miralda? + +MIRALDA + +It is not enough. I will be queen. + +JOHN + +Tchah! . . . Miralda, I know you are a +wonderful woman, the most wonderful in the +East; how you ever came to be in the West +I don't know, and a train of all places; but, +Miralda, you must not have petty whims, +they don't become you. + +MIRALDA + +Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen? + +JOHN + +Yes, when it is only the name you want. +You are a queen. You have all you wish for. +Are you not my beloved? And have I not +power here over all men? Could I not close +the pass? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be queen. + +JOHN + +Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do +than to sit and hear your whims. When I +come back you will have some other whim. +Miralda, you have too many whims. + +[He rises.] + +MIRALDA + +Will you be back soon? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +When will you come back, John? + +[She is reclining, looking fair, fanning +slightly.] + +JOHN + +In half an hour. + +MIRALDA + +In half an hour? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA + +Half an hour. + +[Her fan is laid down. She clutches +it with sudden resolve. She goes to the +wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans +against it. She fans herself now with +obvious deliberation. Three times the +great fan goes pat against the window, and +then again separately three times; and +then she puts it against the window once +with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled. +She returns to the cushions and reclines +with beautiful care, fanning herself softly. + +Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN] + +HAFIZ + +Lady! You bade me come. + +MIRALDA + +Did I, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, your fan. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, I was fanning myself. + +HAFIZ + +Seven times, lady. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, was it? Well, now you're here. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O star of these times. O light over +lonely marshes. [He kneels by her and embraces +her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady? + +MIRALDA + +For half an hour, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +How know you for half an hour? + +MIRALDA + +He said so. + +HAFIZ + +He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a +man say so. + +MIRALDA + +I know him. + +HAFIZ + +In our country who knows any man so +much? None. + +MIRALDA + +He'll be away for half an hour. + +HAFIZ [embracing] + +O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for +me? + +HAFIZ + +I would do all things, lady, O evening +star. + +MIRANDA + +Would you make me a queen, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +If--if the Shereef were gathered? + +MIRALDA + +Even so, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I would make you queen of all that +lies west of the passes. + +MIRANDA + +You would make me queen? + +HAFIZ + +Indeed, before all my wives, before all +women, over all Shaldomir, named the elect. + +MIRALDA + +O, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me. +[HAFIZ does so ad lib.] + +Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour. + +MIRALDA + +The appointed hour? + +HAFIZ + +Even the appointed hour, the last, leading +to darkness. + +MIRALDA + +Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's +hour is soon? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a +banquet. Let the great ones of Shaldomir be +bidden there. + +MIRALDA + +There shall be a banquet, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of +the garden. + +MIRALDA + +It shall be soon, Hafiz. +[More embraces.] + +HAFIZ + +And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son +of the baker. + +MIRALDA + +He shall be bidden, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +O lady, it is well. + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL]. +Silence. Silence. Silence. + +BAZZALOL [kneeling] + +O, master! + +HAFIZ + +Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out; +but do you be silent. + +BAZZALOL + +Aye, master. + +HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA] + +And you. Though this one speak, yet be +silent, or dread the shadow of Hafiz el +Alcolahn. + +[He drops a bag of gold. THOOTHOO-BABA goes +down and grabs at the gold; his eyes gloat +over it.] + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h. + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +MIRALDA arranges herself on the cushions. She +looks idly at each Nubian. The Nubians put +each a finger over his lips and go on fanning +with one hand.] + +MIRALDA + +A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen. + +[Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him +caressingly. + +Enter DAOUD.] + +Oh, you have brought Daoud with you. + +JOHN + +Why not? + +MIRALDA + +You know that I don't like Daoud. + +JOHN + +I wish to speak with him. + +[MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and +moves away in silence. Exit L.] + +JOHN + +Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Great master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery +of those called Blessed, beyond the city's +gates, you swore to me by the graves of both +your parents . . . . + +DAOUD + +Great master, even so I swore. + +JOHN + +. . . . to be true to me always. + +DAOUD + +There is no Shereef but my master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, you have kept your word. + +DAOUD + +I have sought to, master. + +JOHN + +You have helped me often, Daoud, warned +me and helped me often. Through you I +knew those currents that run through the +deeps of the market, in silence and all men +feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of +them, and when I knew--then I could look +after myself, Daoud. They could do nothing +against me then. Well, now I hold this +people. I hold them at last, Daoud, and now +--well, I can rest a little. + +DAOUD + +Not in the East, master. + +JOHN + +Not in the East, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Why? What do you mean? + +DAOUD + +In Western countries, master, whose tales I +have read, in a wonderful book named the "Good +Child's History of England," in the West a man +hath power over a land, and lo! the power is +his and descends to his son's son after him. + +JOHN + +Well, doesn't it in the East? + +DAOUD + +Not if he does not watch, master; in the night +and the day, and in the twilight between the +day and the night, and in the dawn between the +night and the day. + +JOHN + +I thought you had pretty long dynasties +in these parts, and pretty lazy ones. + +DAOUD + +Master, he that was mightiest of those that +were kings in Babylon had a secret door +prepared in an inner chamber, which led to a +little room, the smallest in the palace, whose +back door opened secretly to the river, even +to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited +all the days of his reign. + +JOHN + +Did he really now? Well, he was taking no +chances. Did he have to use it? + +DAOUD + +No, master. Such boats are never used. +Those that watch like that do not need to +seek them, and the others, they would never +be able to reach the river in time, even +though the boat were there. + +JOHN + +I shouldn't like to have to live like that. +Why, a river runs by the back of this palace. +I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm +glad I don't have to keep a boat there. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it you are worrying about? +Who is it you are afraid of? + +DAOUD + +Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately +I ordered my spies to watch him no longer. +Why does he hate me? + +DAOUD + +Because, most excellent master, you slew +Hussein. + +JOHN + +Slew Hussein? What is that to do with +him? May I not slay whom I please? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Even so. But he was +Hussein's enemy. + +JOHN + +His enemy, eh? + +DAOUD + +For years he had dreamed of the joy of +killing Hussein. + +JOHN + +Well, he should have done it before I came. +We don't hang over things and brood over +them for years where I come from. If a +thing's to be done, it's done. + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans +for years. He would have killed him and got +his substance; and then, when the hour drew +near, you came, and Hussein died, swiftly, +not as Hafiz would have had him die; and +lo! thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz +is no more than a beetle that runs about in +the dirt. + +JOHN + +Well, so you fear Hafiz? + +DAOUD + +Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not +Hafiz. But, master, hast thou seen when the +thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard and +the sky is scarce yet black, how little winds +run in the grass and sigh and die; and the +flower beckons a moment with its head; all the +world full of whispers, master, all saying +nothing; then the lightning, master, and the +anger of God; and men say it came without +warning? [Simply.] I hear those things coming, +master. + +JOHN + +Well? + +DAOUD + +Master, it is all silent in the market. Once, +when the price of turquoises was high, men +abused the Shereef. When the merchant men +could not sell their pomegranates for silver +they abused the Shereef. It is men's way, +master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the +market. It is like the grasses with the idle +winds, that whisper and sigh and die away; +like the flowers beckoning to nothing. And +so, master, and so . . . . + +JOHN + +I see, you fear some danger. + +DAOUD + +I fear it, master. + +JOHN + +What danger, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Master, I know not. + +JOHN + +From what quarter, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir, +named the elect, from that quarter. + +JOHN + +That quarter? Why, that is the gracious +lady's innermost chamber. + +DAOUD + +From that quarter, great master, O Lord +of the Pass. + +JOHN + +Daoud, I have cast men into prison for +saying less than this. Men have been flogged +on the feet for less than this. + +DAOUD + +Slay me, master, but hear my words. + +JOHN + +I will not slay you. You are mistaken, +Daoud. You have made a great mistake. +The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady +has scarcely seen Hafiz. She knows nothing +of the talk of the market. Who could tell +her? No one comes here. It is absurd. Only +the other day she said to me . . . But it +is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the +people would never rebel against me. Do I +not govern them well? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. + +JOHN + +Why should they rebel, then? + +DAOUD + +They think of the old times, master. + +JOHN + +The old times? Why, their lives weren't safe. +The robbers came down from the mountains and +robbed the market whenever they had a mind. + +DAOUD + +Master, men were content in the old times. + +JOHN + +But were the merchants content? + +DAOUD + +Those that loved merchandise were content, +master. Those that loved it not went into the +mountains. + +JOHN + +But were they content when they were robbed? + +DAOUD + +They soon recovered their losses, master. +Their prices were unjust and they loved usury. + +JOHN + +And were the people content with unjust +prices? + +DAOUD + +Some were, master, as men have to be in all +countries. The others went into the mountains +and robbed the merchants. + +JOHN + +I see. + +DAOUD + +But now, master, a man robs a merchant and he +is cast into prison. Now a man is slain in the +market and his son, his own son, master, may +not follow after the aggressor and slay him +and burn his house. They are ill-content, +master. No man robs the merchants, no man +slays them, and the merchants' hearts are +hardened and they oppress all men. + +JOHN + +I see. They don't like good government? + +DAOUD + +They sigh for the old times, master. + +JOHN + +I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for +them, they want their old bad government +back again. + +DAOUD + +It is the old way, master. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well, +we must watch. You have warned me once +again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you +are wrong, Daoud, about the gracious lady. +You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are +mistaken, Daoud. I know it could not be. + +DAOUD + +I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am mistaken. +Yet, watch. Watch, master. + +JOHN + +Well, I will watch. + +DAOUD + +And, master, if ever I come to you bearing +oars, then watch no longer, master, but follow +me through the banquet chamber and through +the room beyond it. Move as the wild deer +move when there is danger, without pausing, +without wondering, without turning round; +for in that hour, master, in that hour . . . + +JOHN + +Through the room beyond the banquet +chamber, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Aye, master, following me. + +JOHN + +But there is no door beyond, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Master, I have prepared a door. + +JOHN + +A door, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +A door none wots of, master. + +JOHN + +Whither does it lead? + +DAOUD + +To a room that you know not of, a little +room; you must stoop, master. + +JOHN + +O, and then? + +DAOUD + +To the river, master. + +JOHN + +The river! But there's no boat there. + +DAOUD + +Under the golden willow, master. + +JOHN + +A boat? + +DAOUD + +Even so, under the branches. + +JOHN + +Is it come to that? . . . No, Daoud, all +this is unnecessary. It can't come to that. + +DAOUD + +If ever I come before you bearing two oars, +in that hour, master, it is necessary. + +JOHN + +But you will not come. It will never come +to that. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +A wise man can stop things before they +get as far as that. + +DAOUD + +They that were kings in Babylon were wise +men, master. + +JOHN + +Babylon! But that was thousands of years ago. + +DAOUD + +Man changes not, master. + +JOHN + +Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it +ever comes to that . . . + +[Enter MIRALDA.] + +MIRALDA + +I thought Daoud was gone. + +DAOUD + +Even now I go, gracious lady. + +[Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence with JOHN +and MIRALDA till he goes. She goes and retakes +herself comfortable on the cushions. He is not +entirely at ease.] + +MIRALDA + +You had a long talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he came and talked a good deal. + +MIRALDA + +What about? + +JOHN + +O, just talk; you know these Eastern people. + +MIRALDA + +I thought it was something you were discussing +with him. + +JOHN + +O, no. + +MIRALDA + +Some important secret. + +JOHN + +No, not at all. + +MIRALDA + +You often talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks +sense I listen, but to-day . . . + +MIRALDA + +What did he come for to-day? + +JOHN + +O, nothing. + +MIRALDA + +You have a secret with Daoud that you +will not share with me. + +JOHN + +No, I have not. + +MIRALDA + +What was it he said? + +JOHN + +He said there was a king in Babylon who . . . + +[DAOUD slips into the room.] + +MIRALDA + +In Babylon? What has that to do with us? + +JOHN + +Nothing. I told you he was not talking sense. + +MIRALDA + +Well, what did he say? + +JOHN + +He said that in Babylon . . . + +DAOUD + +Hist! + +JOHN + +O, well . . . + +[MIRALDA glares, but calms herself +and says nothing. + +Exit DAOUD.] + +MIRALDA + +What did Daoud say of Babylon? + +JOHN + +O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do +with us. + +MIRALDA + +But I wish to hear it. + +JOHN + +I forget. + +[For a moment there is silence.] + +MIRALDA + +John, John. Will you do a little thing for +me? + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Say you will do it, John. I should love to +have one of my little wishes granted. + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill Daoud. + +JOHN + +I will not. + +[He walks up and down in front of the two +Nubians in silence. She plucks petulantly at a +pillow. She suddenly calms herself. A light +comes into her eyes. The Nubians go on +fanning. JOHN goes on pacing.] + + MIRALDA + +John, John, I have forgotten my foolish +fancies. + +JOHN + +I am glad of it. + +MIRALDA + +I do not really wish you to kill Daoud. + +JOHN [same voice] + +I'm glad you don't. + +MIRALDA + +I have only one fancy now, John. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it? + +MIRALDA + +Give a banquet, John. I want you to give +a banquet. + +JOHN + +A banquet? Why? + +MIRALDA + +Is there any harm in my fancy? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +Then if I may not be a queen, and if you +will not kill Daoud for me, give a banquet, +John. There is no harm in a banquet. + +JOHN + +Very well. When do you want it? + +MIRALDA + +To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones to it, +all the illustrious ones in Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Very well. + +MIRALDA + +And bid Daoud come. + +JOHN + +Daoud? You asked me to kill him. + +MIRALDA + +I do not wish that any longer, John. + +JOHN + +You have queer moods, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +May I not change my moods, John? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't understand them. + +MIRALDA + +And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John. + +JOHN + +Hafiz? Why? + +MIRALDA + +I don't know, John. It was just my fancy. + +JOHN + +Your fancy, eh? + +MIRALDA + +That was all. + +JOHN + +Then I will ask him. Have you any other fancy? + +MIRALDA + +Not now, John. + +JOHN + +Then go, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Go? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +JOHN + +Because I command it. + +MIRALDA + +Because you command it? + +JOHN + +Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir. + +MIRALDA + +Very well. + +[Exit L. + +He walks to the door to see that she is +really gone. He comes back to centre and +stands with back to audience, pulling a +cord quietly from his pocket and arranging +it. + +He moves half left and comes up behind +BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the cord +over BAZZALOL'S head, and tightens it +round his neck.] + +[BAZZALOL flops on his knees. + +THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.] + +JOHN + +Speak! + +[BAZZALOL is silent. + +JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA +goes on quietly fanning.] + +BAZZALOL + +I cannot. + +JOHN + +If you would speak, raise your left hand. +If you raise your left hand and do not speak +you shall die. + +[BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens +more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby +left hand high. JOHN releases the cord. +BAZZALOL blinks and moves his mouth.] + +BAZZALOL + +Gracious Shereef, one visited the great +lady and gave us gold, saying, "Speak not." + +JOHN + +When? + +BAZZALOL + +Great master, one hour since. + +JOHN [a little viciously] + +Who? + +BAZZALOL + +O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +Give me the gold. + +[BAZZALOL gives it.] + +[To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the gold. + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, none gave me gold. + +[John touches his dagger, and looks like +using it. + +THOOTHOOBABA gives it.] + +JOHN + +Take back your gold. Be silent about this. +You too. + +[He throws gold to BAZZALOL.] + +Gold does not make you silent, but there is +a thing that does. What is that thing? +Speak. What thing makes you silent? + +BAZZALOL + +O, great master, it is death. + +JOHN + +Death, eh? And how will you die if you +speak? You know how you will die? + +BAZZALOL + +Yes, heaven-sent. + +JOHN + +Tell your comrade, then. + +BAZZALOL + +We shall be eaten, great master. + +JOHN + +You know by what? + +BAZZALOL + +Small things, great master, small things. +Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h. + +[THOOTHOOBABA'S knees scarcely hold him.] + +JOHN + +It is well. + + + + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +A small street. Al Shaldomir. + +Time: Next day. + +[Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS. + +He goes to an old green door, pointed of +course in the Arabic way.] + +SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Ho, Bishareens! + +[The BISHAREENS run on.] + +SHEIK + +It is the place and the hour. + +BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN] + +Watch. + +[FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and +watches up sunny street.] + +FIRST BISHAREEN + +He comes. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes +straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.] + +SHEIK [turning] + +Hear, O Bishareens. + +[HAFIZ places flute to his lips.] + +A BISHAREEN + +And the gold, master? + +SHEIK + +Silence! It is the signal. + +[HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on +his flute.] + +HAFIZ + +So. + +SHEIK + +Master, once more. + +[HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.] + +SHEIK + +Hear, O Bishareens! + +[He plays the brief tune again.] + +HAFIZ [to SHEIK] + +Like that. + +SHEIK + +We have heard, O master. + +[He walks away L. Hands move in +the direction of knife-hilts.] + +THE BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +He plays a merry little tune on his +flute as he walks away.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 3 + +The banqueting hall. A table along the +back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with +notables of Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA +on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ EL +ALCOLAHN. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN] + +You bade Daoud be present? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +He is not here. + +JOHN + +Daoud not here? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Why? + +MIRALDA + +We all obey you, but not Daoud. + +JOHN + +I do not understand it. + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef has frowned. + +[Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He +halts at once and salutes with his sword, +then takes a side pace to his left, standing +against the wall, sword at the carry. + +JOHN acknowledges salute by touching +his forehead with the inner tips of his +fingers.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the dance-step; +march. + +[Enter R. some men in single file; +uniform, pale green silks; swords at carry. +They advance in single file, in a slightly +serpentine way, deviating to their left a +little out of the straight and returning to it, +stepping neatly on the tips of their toes. +Their march is fantastic and odd without +being exactly funny. + + The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their + left flank and marches about level with the + third or fourth man. + When he reaches the centre he gives + another word of command.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +With reverence: Salute. + +[The actor who takes this part should +have been an officer or N. C. O. + +JOHN stands up and acknowledges their +salute by touching his forehead with the +fingers of the right hand, palm turned +inwards. + +Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.] + +A NOTABLE + +He does not smile this evening. + +A WOMAN + +The Shereef? + +NOTABLE + +He has not smiled. + +[Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with +brass bowl. He bows. He walks to centre +opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.] + +ZABNOOL + +Behold. The bowl is empty. + +[ZABNOOL produces a snake.] + +ZABNOOL + +Ah, little servant of Death. + +[He produces flowers.] + +Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from +Nowhere. + +[He produces birds.] + +Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere. +Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the little +empty songs of the land of Nowhere. + +[He seats himself on the ground facing +JOHN. He puts the bowl on the ground. He +places a piece of silk, with queer designs on +it over the bowl. He partly draws the silk +away with his left hand and puts in his right. +He brings out a young crocodile and holds it +by the neck.] + +CONJURER + +Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a +crocodile. + +[He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps +up the crocodile in some drapery and walks +away. As he goes he addresses his crocodile.] + +O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers, +you sought to evade me in an empty bowl. +O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the +Shereef. The Shereef has seen you, O vexer +of swimmers, O pig in armour, O . . . + +[Exit. + +SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes +on.] + +SHABEESH + +Bad man, master; he very, very bad man. + +[He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly, impetus of +which carries ZABNOOL to the wings.] + +Very, very bad man, master. + +MIRALDA [reprovingly] + +Zabnool has amused us. + +SHABEESH + +He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get +crocodile from devil. From devil Poolyana, +lily lady. Very, very bad. + +MIRALDA + +He may call on devils if he amuse us, +Shabeesh. + +SHABEESH + +But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my +devil, lily lady. Very, very, very bad. My +devil Poolyana. + +MIRALDA + +Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse us. + +SHABEESH + +Shall one devil serve two masters? + +MIRALDA + +Why not? + +SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's +hands] + +Very bad man go away. Go away, bad man: go +away, bad man. Poolyana not want bad man: +Poolyana only work for good man. He mighty +fine devil. Poolyana, Poolyana. Big, black, +fine, furry devil. Poolyana, Poolyana, +Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big angry +tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Send me up +fine young pig for the Shereef. Poolyana, +Poolyana. Lil yellow pig with curly tail. +[Small pig appears.] O Poolyana, great +Poolyana. Fine black fur and grey fur +underneath. Fine ferocious devil you my devil, +Poolyana. O, Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. +Send me a big beast what chew bad man's +crocodile. Big beast with big teeth, eat him +like a worm. + +[He has spread large silk handkerchief +on floor and is edging back from it in +alarm.] + +Long nails in him toes, big like lion, +Poolyana. Send great smelly big beast--eat +up bad man's crocodile. + +[At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH +leaps in alarm.] + +He come, he come. I see his teeth and horns. + +[Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor +under handkerchief.] + +O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle +joke. You laugh at poor conjuring man. +You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile. +Bad Poolyana. Bad Poolyana. + +[Whacks ground with stick.] + +You plenty bad devil, Poolyana. + +[Whacking it again. Handkerchief has been +thrown on ground again. Handkerchief stirs +slightly.] + +No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil. +You not bad devil. You plenty good devil, +Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man +quite happy on muddy earth. NO, Poolyana, +no! O. no, no, devil. O. no, no! Hell plenty +nice place for devil. Master! He not my +devil! He other man's devil! + +JOHN + +What's this noise? What's it about? +What's the matter? + +SHABEESH [in utmost terror] + +He coming, master! Coming! + +ZABNOOL + +Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay +down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in +nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want +no devil to-day. + +[ZABNOOL before speaking returns to +centre and pats air over ground where +handkerchief lies. + +Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOE come together side +by side and bow and smile together toward the +SHEREEF. Gold is thrown to them, which ZABNOOL +gathers and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a +share back to ZABNOOL.] + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef is silent. + +[Enter three women R. in single file, +dancing, and carrying baskets full of pink +rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing +down rose-leaves, leaving a path of them +behind them. Exeunt L.] + +A NOTABLE + +Still he is silent. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not speak? + +JOHN + +I do not wish to speak. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +[Enter OMAR with his zither.] + + OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +Birds sing thy praises night and day; + The nightingale in every wood, +Blackbirds in fields profound with may; +Birds sing of thee by every way. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +My heart is ringing with thee still +Though far away, O fairy fields, +My soul flies low by every hill +And misses not one daffodil. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +O mother of my roving dreams +Blue is the night above thy spires +And blue by myriads of streams +Paradise through thy gateway gleams. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not wish to speak? + +JOHN + +You desire me to speak? + +MIRALDA + +No. They all wonder why you do not +speak; that is all. + +JOHN + +I will speak. They shall hear me. + +MIRALDA + +O, there is no need to. + +JOHN + +There is a need. [He rises.] People of +Shaldomir, behold I know your plottings. I +know the murmurings that you murmur against +me. When I sleep in my inner chamber my ear is +in the market, while I sit at meat I hear men +whisper far hence and know their innermost +thoughts. Hope not to overcome me by your +plans nor by any manner of craftiness. My gods +are gods of brass; none have escaped them. +They cannot be overthrown. Of all men they +favour my people. Their hands reach out to the +uttermost ends of the earth. Take heed, for my +gods are terrible. I am the Shereef; if any +dare withstand me I will call on my gods and +they shall crush him utterly. They shall grind +him into the earth and trample him under, as +though he had not been. The uttermost parts +have feared the gods of the English. They +reach out, they destroy, there is no escape +from them. Be warned; for I do not permit any +to stand against me. The laws that I have +given you, you shall keep; there shall be no +other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my wrath +and the wrath of my gods. Take heed, I speak +not twice. I spoke once to Hussein. Hussein +heard not; and Hussein is dead, his ears are +closed for ever. Hear, O people. + +HAFIZ + +O Shereef, we murmur not against you. + +JOHN + +I know thoughts and hear whispers. I +need not instruction, Hafiz. + + HAFIZ + +You exalt yourself over us as none did +aforetime. + +JOHN + +Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been +Shereef hitherto, but now I will be king. Al +Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled +too long over a little country. I will be the +equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim it. +The pass is mine; the mountains shall be +mine also. And he that rules the mountains +has mastery over all the plains beyond. If +the men of the plains will not own it let them +make ready; for my wrath will fall on them +in the hour when they think me afar, on a +night when they think I dream. I proclaim +myself king over . . . + +[HAFIZ pulls out his flute and plays the +weird, strange tune. JOHN looks at him in +horrified anger.] + +JOHN + +The penalty is death! Death is the punishment +for what you do, Hafiz. You have dared while I +spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is death. Go to +Hussein. I, the king . . . say it. + +[DAOUD has entered R., bearing two +oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking +at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near +back. + +JOHN gives one look at the banqueters, +then he follows DAOUD. Exit. + +All look astonished. Some rise and +peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.] + +OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise, + +CRIES [off] + +Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the +Christian. + +[Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS, +followed by all his men.] + +SHEIK + +We are the Bishareens, master. + +[MIRALDA standing up, right arm akimbo, left +arm pointing perfectly straight out towards +the small door, hand extended.] + +MIRALDA + +He is there. + +[The BISHAREENS run off through the +little door.] + +A NOTABLE + +Not to interfere with old ways is wisest. + +ANOTHER + +Indeed, it would have been well for him. + +[The BISHAREENS begin to return looking all +about them like disappointed hounds.] + +A BISHAREEN + +He is not there, master. + +HAFIZ + +Not there? Not there? Why, there is no +door beyond. He must needs be there, and +his chief spy with him. +SHEIK [off] + +He is not here. + +MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall] + +O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him. + +HAFIZ + +Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is +gone. + +MIRALDA + +When I am weary of a man he must die. + +[He embraces her knees.] + +ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd +that followed the BISHAREENS. She is blind.] + +Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of Hafiz. +Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead her near.] +Hafiz! Hafiz! + +[She finds his shoulder and tries to drag +him away.] + +HAFIZ + +Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of +the innermost deeps of the sea. + +[He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's +hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.] + +Curtain + + + + +ACT IV + +SCENE I + +Three years elapse. + +Scene: The street outside the Acacias. + +Time: Evening. + +[Ali leans on a pillar-box watching. +John shuffles on L. He is miserably +dressed, an Englishman down on his luck. +A nightingale sings far off.] + +JOHN + +A nightingale here. Well, I never. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise. . . + +The infernal place! I wish I had never seen +it! Wonder what set me thinking of that? + +[The nightingale sings another bar. +JOHN turns to his left and walks down the +little path that leads to the door of the +Acacias.] + +I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a +fine house like this. Mustn't. Mustn't. + +[He draws near it reluctantly. He puts +his hand to the bell and withdraws it. +Then he rings and snatches his hand away. +He prepares to run away. Finally he rings +it repeatedly, feverishly, violently. + +Enter LIZA, opening the door.] + +LIZA + +Ullo, 'Oo's this! + +JOHN + +I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I +oughtn't to have rung your bell; but I've seen +better days, and wondered if--I wondered . . . + +LIZA + +I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's wot +I oughtn't. Now I look at you, I oughtn't to +'ave opened it. Wot does you want? + +JOHN + +O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must +come here. I must. + +LIZA + +Must? Why? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Wot do you want? + +JOHN + +Who lives here? + +LIZA + +Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Johnstone. What do you want? + +JOHN + +Could I see Mr. Cater? + +LIZA + +He's out. Dining at the Mansion House. + +JOHN + +Oh. + +LIZA + +He is. + +JOHN + +Could I see Mrs. Cater? + +LIZA + +See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you couldn't. + +[She prepares to shut the door.] + +JOHN + +Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut +me out. If you knew what I'd suffered, if +you knew what I'd suffered. Don't! + +LIZA [coming forward again] + +Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to eat? + +JOHN + +No, I've had nothing all day. + +LIZA + +'Aven't you really now? + +JOHN + +No. And I get little enough at any time. + +LIZA [kindly] + +You ought to work. + +JOHN + +I . . . I can't. I can't bring myself . . . +I've seen better times. + +LIZA + +Still, you could work. + +JOHN + +I--I can't grub for halfpennies when I've +--when I've . . . + +LIZA + +When you've what? + +JOHN + +Lost millions. + +LIZA + +Millions? + +JOHN + +I've lost everything. + +LIZA + +'Ow did you lose it? + +JOHN + +Through being blind. But never mind, +never mind. It's all gone now, and I'm +hungry. + +LIZA + +'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck? + +JOHN + +It's three years now. + +LIZA + +Couldn't get a regular job, like? + +JOHN + +Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose +it's my fault, miss. But the heart was out of +me. + +LIZA + +Dear me, now. + +JOHN + +Miss. + +LIZA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +You've a kind face . . . + +LIZA + +'Ave I? + +JOHN + +Yes. Would you do me a kind turn? + +LIZA + +Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down +on yer luck--I don't like to see a man like +you are, I must say. + +JOHN + +Would you let me come into the big house +and speak to the missus a moment? + +LIZA + +She'd row me awful if I did. This house is +very respectable. + +JOHN + +I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck +might change. + +LIZA + +But I don't know what she'd say if I did. + +JOHN + +Miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know wot she'd say. + +JOHN + +I must come in, miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll say. + +JOHN + +I must. I can't help myself. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll . . . + +[JOHN is in, door shuts.] + +[ALI throws his head up and laughs, +but quite silently.] + +Curtain + + + + +SCENE 2 + +The drawing-room at the Acacias. + +A moment later. + +The scene is the same as in Act I, except that +the sofa which was red is now green, and the +photograph of Aunt Martha is replaced by that +of a frowning old colonel. The ages of the +four children in the photographs are the same, +but their sexes have changed. + +[MARY reading. Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, mum, which is, +properly speaking, not a gentleman at all, but +'e would come in, mum. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza, +whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +'E would come in, mum. + +MARY + +But what does he want? + +LIZA [over shoulder] + +What does you want? + +JOHN [entering] + +I am a beggar. + +MARY + +O, really? You've no right to be coming +into houses like this, you know. + +JOHN + +I know that, madam, I know that. Yet +somehow I couldn't help myself. I've been +begging for nearly three years now, and I've +never done this before, yet somehow to-night +I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg +your pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to +it. + +MARY + +Hunger? + + +JOHN + +I'm very hungry, madam. + +MARY + +Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet returned, +or perhaps he might . . . + +JOHN + +If you could give me a little to eat yourself, +madam, a bit of stale bread, a crust, +something that Mr. Cater would not want. + +MARY + +It's very unusual, coming into a house like +this and at such an hour--it's past eleven +o'clock--and Mr. Cater not yet returned. +Are you really hungry? + +JOHN + +I'm very, very hungry. + +MARY + +Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I +might get you a little something. + +[She picks up an empty plate from the +supper table.] + +JOHN + +Madam, I do not know how to thank you. + +MARY + +O, don't mention it. + +JOHN + +I have not met such kindness for three +years. I . . . I'm starving. I've known +better times. + +MARY [kindly] + +I'll get you something. You've known +better times, you say? + +JOHN + +I had been intended for work in the City. +And then, then I travelled, and--and I got +very much taken with foreign countries, and +I thought--but it all went to pieces. I lost +everything. Here I am, starving. + +MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who +had lost her gloves] + +O, I'm so sorry. + +[JOHN sighs deeply.] + +MARY + +I'll get a nice bit of something to eat. + +JOHN + +A thousand thanks to you, madam. + +[Exit MARY with the plate.] + +LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the +time] + +Well, she's going to get you something. + +JOHN + +Heaven reward her. + +LIZA + +Hungry as all that? + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. +LIZA + +Cheer up! + +JOHN + +That's all very well to say, living in a fine +house, as you are, dry and warm and well-fed. +But what have I to cheer up about? + +LIZA + +Isn't there anything you could pop? + +JOHN + +What? + +LIZA + +Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop? +I've tided over times I wanted a bit of cash +that way sometimes. + +JOHN + +What could I pawn? + +LIZA + +Well, well you've a watch-chain. + +JOHN + +A bit of old leather. + +LIZA + +But what about the watch? + +JOHN + +I've no watch. + +LIZA + +O, funny having a watch-chain then. + +JOHN + +O, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal. + +LIZA + +Funny bit of a thing. What's it for? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Was it give to you? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't know how I got it. + +LIZA + +Don't know how you got it? + +JOHN + +No, I can't remember at all. But I've a +feeling about it, I can't explain what I feel; +but I don't part with it. + +LIZA + +Don't you? You might get something on +it, likely and have a square meal. + +JOHN + +I won't part with it. + +LIZA + +Why? + +JOHN + +I feel I won't. I never have. + +LIZA + +Feel you won't? + +JOHN + +Yes, I have that feeling very strongly. +I've kept it always. Everything else is gone. + +LIZA + +Had it long? + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had +it one morning in a train. It's odd that I +can't remember. + +LIZA + +But wot d'yer keep it for? + +JOHN + +Just for luck. + +[LIZA breaks into laughter.] + +LIZA + +Well, you are funny. + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is +funny. + +LIZA + +You're as down in your luck as ever you +can be, and you go keeping a thing like that +for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier. + +JOHN + +Well, what would you do? + +LIZA + +Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and +I had rotten luck. Rotten luck I had. +Rotten. + +JOHN + +And what did you do? + +LIZA + +Took it back to the shop. + +JOHN + +Yes? + +LIZA + +They was quite obliging about it. Gave me a +wooden one instead, what was guaranteed. Luck +changed very soon altogether. + +JOHN + +Could luck like mine change? + +LIZA + +Course it could. + +JOHN + +Look at me. + +LIZA + +You'll be all right one of these days. Give +me that mascot. + +JOHN + +I--I hardly like to. One has an awfully +strong feeling with it. + +LIZA + +Give it to me. It's no good. + +JOHN + +I--I don't like to. + +LIZA + +You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing +you no good. I know all about them mascots. +Give it me. + +JOHN + +Well, I'll give it you. You're the +first woman that's been kind to me since +. . . I'm on my beam ends. + +[Face in hands--tears.] + +LIZA + +There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am. +These mascots! One's better without 'em. +Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a +nice supper coming. + +[She puts it in a corner of the mantelpiece +and hammers it. It smashes. + +The photographs of the four children +change slightly. The Colonel gives place +to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red. +JOHN'S clothes become neat and tidy. The +hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather +duster. Nothing else changes.] + +A VOICE [off, in agony] + +Allah! Allah! Allah! + +LIZA + +Some foreign gentleman must have hurt +himself. + +JOHN + +H'm. Sounds like it . . . Liza. + +[LIZA, dusting the photographs on the wall, +just behind the corner of the mantelpiece.] + +LIZA + +Funny. Thought I--thought I 'ad a hammer in my +hand. + +JOHN + +Really, Liza, I often think you have. You +really should be more careful. Only--only +yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's +photograph. + +LIZA + +Thought it was a hammer. + +JOHN + +Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a +mistake you make too often, Liza. You--you +must be more careful. + +LIZA + +Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad +an 'ammer in my 'and, though. + +[She goes to tidy the little supper table. +Enter MARY with food on a plate.] + +MARY + +I've brought you your supper, John. + +JOHN + +Thanks, Mary. I--I think I must have +taken a nap. + +MARY + +Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along to bed +now, Liza. Good gracious, it's half-past +eleven. + +[MARY makes final arrangements of +supper table.] + +LIZA + +Thank you, mum. + +[Exit ] + +JOHN + +Mary. + +MARY + +Yes, John. + +JOHN + +I--I thought I'd caught that train. + +Curtain + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg Etext of If, by Lord Dunsany + + + diff --git a/old/old/ifdun11.zip b/old/old/ifdun11.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4100aab --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/ifdun11.zip diff --git a/old/old/ifdun12.txt b/old/old/ifdun12.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9c3428e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/ifdun12.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7702 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of If, by Lord Dunsany +(#1 in our series by Lord Dunsany) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: If + +Author: Lord Dunsany + +Release Date: May, 1998 [EBook #1311] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on September 10, 2002] +[Most recently updated: September 10, 2002] + +Edition: 11 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, IF *** + + + + +If + +by Lord Dunsany [Edward John Plunkett] + + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + +JOHN BEAL +MARY BEAL +LIZA +ALI +BERT, BILL: two railway porters +THE MAN IN THE CORNER +MIRALDA CLEMENT +HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN +DAOUD +ARCHIE BEAL +BAZZALOL, THOOTHOOBABA: two Nubian door-keepers +BEN HUSSEIN, Lord of the Pass +ZABNOOL, SHABEESH: two conjurers +OMAR, a singer +ZAGBOOLA, mother of Hafiz +THE SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Notables, soldiers, Bishareens, dancers, etc. + + + + +IF + + + +ACT I + +SCENE 1 + +A small railway station near London. +Time: Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why? What's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + + +BERT + +Why, wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was dangerous. +Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why. The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the company. +They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and +I'll... + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule. And they'll 'ave to abide by it. + +BERT + +Well, I wouldn't stop one, not if... + +BILL + +I don't care. They ain't going to 'ave me +on the mat again and talk all that stuff to +me. No, if someone 'as to suffer . . . +'Ere she is. + +[Noise of approaching train heard.] + +BERT + +Ay, that's her. + +BILL + +And shut goes the door. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BERT + +Wait a moment, Bill. + +BILL + +Not if he's . . . Not if he was ever so. + +JOHN [preparing to pass] + +Good morning. . . . + +BILL + +Can't come through. Too late. + +JOHN + +Too late? Why, the train's only just in. + +BILL + +Don't care. It's the rule. + +JOHN + +O, nonsense. [He carries on.] + +BILL + +It's too late. I tell you you can't come. + +JOHN + +But that's absurd. I want to catch my +train. + +BILL + +It's too late. + +BERT + +Let him go, Bill. + +BILL + +I'm blowed if I let him go. + +JOHN + +I want to catch my train. + +[JOHN is stopped by BILL and pushed +back by the face. JOHN advances towards +BILL looking like fighting. The train has +gone.] + +BILL + +Only doing my duty. + +[JOHN stops and reflects at this, deciding +it isn't good enough. He shrugs his +shoulders, turns round and goes away.] + +JOHN + +I shouldn't be surprised if I didn't get even +with you one of these days, you . . . . . and +some way you won't expect. + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +Yesterday evening. + +[Curtain rises on JOHN and MARY in +their suburban home.] + +JOHN + +I say, dear. Don't you think we ought to +plant an acacia? + +MARY + +An acacia, what's that, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's one of those trees that they have. + +MARY + +But why, John? + +JOHN + +Well, you see the house is called The Acacias, +and it seems rather silly not to have at +least one. + +MARY + +O, I don't think that matters. Lots of +places are called lots of things. Everyone +does. + +JOHN + +Yes, but it might help the postman. + +MARY + +O, no, it wouldn't, dear. He wouldn't +know an acacia if he saw it any more than I +should. + +JOHN + +Quite right, Mary, you're always right. +What a clever head you've got! + +MARY + +Have I, John? We'll plant an acacia if +you like. I'll ask about it at the grocer's. + +JOHN + +You can't get one there. + +MARY + +No, but he's sure to know where it can be +got. + +JOHN + +Where do they grow, Mary? + +MARY + +I don't know, John; but I am sure they do, +somewhere. + +JOHN + +Somehow I wish sometimes, I almost wish +I could have gone abroad for a week or so to +places like where acacias grow naturally. + +MARY + +O, would you really, John? + +JOHN + +No, not really. But I just think of it +sometimes. + +MARY + +Where would you have gone? + +JOHN + +O, I don't know. The East or some such +place. I've often heard people speak of it, +and somehow it seemed so. . . + +MARY + +The East, John? Not the East. I don't +think the East somehow is quite respectable. + +JOHN + +O well, it's all right, I never went, and +never shall go now. It doesn't matter. + +MARY [the photographs catching her eye] + +O, John, I meant to tell you. Such a dreadful +thing happened. + +JOHN + +What, Mary? + +MARY + +Well, Liza was dusting the photographs, +and when she came to Jane's she says she +hadn't really begun to dust it, only looked at +it, and it fell down, and that bit of glass is +broken right out of it. + +JOHN + +Ask her not to look at it so hard another +time. + +MARY + +O, what do you mean, John? + +JOHN + +Well, that's how she broke it; she said so, +and as I know you believe in Liza . . . + +MARY + +Well, I can't think she'd tell a lie, John. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. But she mustn't look +so hard another time. + +MARY + +And it's poor little Jane's photograph. +She will feel it so. + +JOHN + +O, that's all right, we'll get it mended. + +MARY + +Still, it's a dreadful thing to have happened. + +JOHN + +We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy +about it she can have Alice's frame. Alice +is too young to notice it. + +MARY + +She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick. + +JOHN + +Well, George, then. + +MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully] + +Well, perhaps George might give up his +frame. + +JOHN + +Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make +her do it now? + +MARY + +Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. +She shall do it to-morrow by the time you get +back from the office. + +JOHN + +All right. It might have been worse. + +MARY + +It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened. + +JOHN + +It might have been worse. It might have +been Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'd sooner it had been her than poor little +Jane. + +JOHN + +If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph +she'd have walked in next day and seen it for +certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd +have been trouble. + +MARY + +But, John, how could she have known? + +JOHN + +I don't know, but she would have; it's a +kind of devilish sense she has. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +What's the matter? + +MARY + +John! What a dreadful word you used. +And on a Sunday too! Really! + +JOHN + +O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. +I'm very sorry. + +[Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which +isn't, properly speaking, a gentleman at all. +Not what I should call one, that is, like. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! +Whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +He's black. + +MARY + +Black? + +JOHN [reassuring] + +O . . . yes, that would be Ali. A queer +old customer, Mary; perfectly harmless. Our +firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; +and then one day . . . + +MARY + +But what is he doing here, John? + +JOHN + +Well, one day he turned up in London; +broke, he said; and wanted the firm to give +him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for +giving him ten shillings. But I said "here's +a man that's helped us in making thousands +of pounds. Let's give him fifty." + +MARY + +Fifty pounds! + +JOHN + +Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. +Ten shillings would have been an insult to +the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. +You don't know what he'd have done. + +MARY + +Well, he doesn't want more? + +JOHN + +No, I expect he's come to thank me. He +seemed pretty keen on getting some cash. +Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was +doing in London. Never can tell with these +fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it. + +MARY + +How did he trace you here? + +JOHN + +O, got the address at the office. Briggs +and Cater won't let theirs be known. Not +got such a smart little house, I expect. + +MARY + +I don't like letting people in that you don't +know where they come from. + +JOHN + +O, he comes from the East. + +MARY + +Yes, I--I know. But the East doesn't seem +quite to count, somehow, as the proper sort of +place to come from, does it, dear? + +JOHN + +No. + +MARY + +It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some +place you can put your finger on. + +JOHN + +Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's +any harm in him. + +MARY + +Well, just for once. But we can't make a +practice of it. And you don't want to be +thinking of business on a Sunday, your only +day off. + +JOHN + +O, it isn't business, you know. He only +wants to say thank you. + +MARY + +I hope he won't say it in some queer +Eastern way. You don't know what these +people. . . . + +JOHN + +O, no. Show him up, Liza. + +LIZA + +As you like, mum. +[Exit.] + +MARY + +And you gave him fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose +that's what he got. Cater paid him. + +MARY + +It seems a lot of money. But I think, as +the man is actually coming up the stairs, +I'm glad he's got something to be grateful +for. + +[Enter ALI, shown in by LIZA.] + +ALI + +Protector of the Just. + +JOHN + +O, er--yes. Good evening. + +ALI + +My soul was parched and you bathed it +in rivers of gold. + +JOHN + +O, ah, yes. + +ALI + +Wherefore the name Briggs, Cater, and Beal +shall be magnified and called blessed. + +JOHN + +Ha, yes. Very good of you. + +ALI [advancing, handing trinket] + +Protector of the Just, my offering. + +JOHN + +Your offering? + +ALI + +Hush. It is beyond price. I am not +bidden to sell it. I was in my extremity, but +I was not bidden to sell it. It is a token of +gratitude, a gift, as it came to me. + +JOHN + +As it came to you? + + +ALI + +Yes, it was given me. + +JOHN + +I see. Then you had given somebody what +you call rivers of gold? + +ALI + +Not gold; it was in Sahara. + +JOHN + +O, and what do you give in the Sahara +instead of gold? + +ALI + +Water. + +JOHN + +I see. You got it for a glass of water, like. + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +And--and what happened? + +MARY + +I wouldn't take his only crystal, dear. +It's a nice little thing, but [to ALI], but you +think a lot of it, don't you? + +ALI + +Even so. + +JOHN + +But look here, what does it do? + +ALI + +Much. + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +ALI + +He that taketh this crystal, so, in his hand, +at night, and wishes, saying "At a certain +hour let it be"; the hour comes and he will +go back eight, ten, even twelve years if he +will, into the past, and do a thing again, or +act otherwise than he did. The day passes; +the ten years are accomplished once again; he +is here once more; but he is what he might +have become had he done that one thing +otherwise. + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +I--I don't understand. + +ALI + +To-night you wish. All to-morrow you +live the last ten years; a new way, master, a +new way, how you please. To-morrow night +you are here, what those years have made you. + +JOHN + +By Jove! + +MARY + +Have nothing to do with it, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary, I'm not going to. But, +do you mean one could go back ten years? + + +ALI + +Even so. + + +JOHN + +Well, it seems odd, but I'll take your word +for it. But look here, you can't live ten years +in a day, you know. + +ALI + +My master has power over time. + +MARY + +John, don't have anything to do with him. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. But who is your master? + +ALI + +He is carved of one piece of jade, a god in +the greenest mountains. The years are his +dreams. This crystal is his treasure. Guard +it safely, for his power is in this more than +in all the peaks of his native hills. See what +I give you, master. + +JOHN + +Well, really, it's very good of you. + +MARY + +Good night, Mr. Ali. We are very much +obliged for your kind offer, which we are so +sorry we can't avail ourselves of. + +JOHN + +One moment, Mary. Do you mean that +I can go back ten years, and live till--till now +again, and only be away a day? + +ALI + +Start early and you will be here before +midnight. + +JOHN + +Would eight o'clock do! + +ALI + +You could be back by eleven that evening. + +JOHN + +I don't quite see how ten years could go +in a single day. + +ALI + +They will go as dreams go. + +JOHN + +Even so, it seems rather unusual, doesn't +it? + +ALI + +Time is the slave of my master + +MARY + +John! + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. [In a lower voice.] I'm +only trying to see what he'll say. + +MARY + +All right, John, only . . . + +ALI + +Is there no step that you would wish +untrodden, nor stride that you would make +where once you faltered? + +JOHN + +I say, why don't you use it yourself? + +ALI + +I? I am afraid of the past. But you +Engleesh, and the great firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Beal; you are afraid of nothing. + +JOHN + +Ha, ha. Well--I wouldn't go quite as far +as that, but--well, give me the crystal. + +MARY + +Don't take it, John! Don't take it. + +JOHN + +Why, Mary? It won't hurt me. + +MARY + +If it can do all that--if it can do all that . . . + +JOHN + +Well? + +MARY + +Why, you might never have met me. + +JOHN + +Never have met you? I never thought of +that. + +MARY + +Leave the past alone, John. + +JOHN + +All right, Mary. I needn't use it. But I +want to hear about it, it's so odd, it's so +what-you-might-call queer; I don't think I +ever----- [To ALI.] You mean if I work +hard for ten years, which will only be all +to-morrow, I may be Governor of the Bank +of England to-morrow night. + +ALI + +Even so. + +MARY + +O, don't do it, John. + +JOHN + +But you said--I'll be back here before +midnight to-morrow. + +ALI + +It is so. + +JOHN + +But the Governor of the Bank of England +would live in the City, and he'd have a much +bigger house anyway. He wouldn't live in +Lewisham. + +ALI + +The crystal will bring you to this house +when the hour is accomplished, even +tomorrow night. If you be the great banker +you will perhaps come to chastise one of your +slaves who will dwell in this house. If you +be head of Briggs and Cater you will come to +give an edict to one of your firm. Perchance +this street will be yours and you will come to +show your power unto it. But you will come. + +JOHN + +And if the house is not mine? + +MARY + +John! John! Don't. + +ALI + +Still you will come. + +JOHN + +Shall I remember? + +ALI + +No. + +JOHN + +If I want to do anything different to what +I did, how shall I remember when I get back +there? + +MARY + +Don't. Don't do anything different, John. + +JOHN + +All right. + +ALI + +Choose just before the hour of the step +you desire to change. Memory lingers a little +at first, and fades away slowly. + +JOHN + +Five minutes? + +ALI + +Even ten. + +JOHN + +Then I can change one thing. After that I +forget. + +ALI + +Even so. One thing. And the rest follows. + +JOHN + +Well, it's very good of you to make me this +nice present, I'm sure. + +ALI + +Sell it not. Give it, as I gave it, if the heart +impels. So shall it come back one day to the +hills that are brighter than grass, made richer +by the gratitude of many men. And my +master shall smile thereat and the vale shall +be glad. + +JOHN + +It's very good of you, I'm sure. + +MARY + +I don't like it, John. I don't like tampering +with what's gone. + +ALI + +My master's power is in your hands. +Farewell. + +[Exit.] + +JOHN + +I say, he's gone. + +MARY + +O, he's a dreadful man. + +JOHN + +I never really meant to take it. + +MARY + +O, John, I wish you hadn't + +JOHN + +Why? I'm not going to use it. + +MARY + +Not going to use it, John? + +JOHN + +No, no. Not if you don't want me to. + +MARY + +O, I'm so glad. + +JOHN + +And besides, I don't want things different. +I've got fond of this little house. And Briggs +is a good old sort, you know. Cater's a bit +of an ass, but there's no harm in him. In +fact, I'm contented, Mary. I wouldn't even +change Aunt Martha now. + +[Points at frowning framed photograph +centrally hung.] + +You remember when she first came and +you said "Where shall we hang her?" I said +the cellar. You said we couldn't. So she had +to go there. But I wouldn't change her now. +I suppose there are old watch-dogs like her in +every family. I wouldn't change anything. + +MARY + +O, John, wouldn't you really? + +JOHN + +No, I'm contented. Grim old soul, I +wouldn't even change Aunt Martha. + +MARY + +I'm glad of that, John. I was frightened. +I couldn't bear to tamper with the past. +You don't know what it is, it's what's gone. +But if it really isn't gone at all, if it can be dug +up like that, why you don't know what +mightn't happen! I don't mind the future, +but if the past can come back like that.... +O, don't, don't, John. Don't think of it. +It isn't canny. There's the children, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes, that's all right. It's only a little +ornament. I won't use it. And I tell you +I'm content. [Happily] It's no use to me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad you're content, John. Are you +really? Is there nothing that you'd have had +different? I sometimes thought you'd rather +that Jane had been a boy. + +JOHN + +Not a bit of it. Well, I may have at the +time, but Arthur's good enough for me. + +MARY + +I'm so glad. And there's nothing you ever +regret at all? + +JOHN + +Nothing. And you? Is there nothing you +regret, Mary? + +MARY + +Me? Oh, no. I still think that sofa would +have been better green, but you would have +it red. + +JOHN + +Yes, so I would. No, there's nothing I +regret. + +MARY + +I don't suppose there's many men can say +that. + +JOHN + +No, I don't suppose they can. They're +not all married to you. I don't suppose +many of them can. + +[MARY smiles.] + +MARY + +I should think that very few could say +that they regretted nothing . . . very few +in the whole world. + +JOHN + +Well, I won't say nothing. + +MARY + +What is it you regret, John? + +JOHN + +Well, there is one thing. + +MARY + +And what is that? + +JOHN + +One thing has rankled a bit. + +MARY + +Yes, John? + +JOHN + +O, it's nothing, it's nothing worth +mentioning. But it rankled for years. + +MARY + +What was it, John? + +JOHN + +O, it seems silly to mention it. It was +nothing. + +MARY + +But what? + +JOHN + +O, well, if you want to know, it was once +when I missed a train. I don't mind missing +a train, but it was the way the porter pushed +me out of the way. He pushed me by the +face. I couldn't hit back, because, well, you +know what lawyers make of it; I might have +been ruined. So it just rankled. It was years +ago before we married. + +MARY + +Pushed you by the face. Good gracious! + +JOHN + +Yes, I'd like to have caught that train in +spite of him. I sometimes think of it still. +Silly of me, isn't it? + +MARY + +What a brute of a man. + +JOHN + +O, I suppose he was doing his silly duty. +But it rankled. + +MARY + +He'd no right to do any such thing! He'd +no right to touch you! + +JOHN + +O, well, never mind. + +MARY + +I should like to have been there. . . +I'd have . . . + +JOHN + +O, well, it can't be helped now; but I'd +like to have caught it in sp . . . +[An idea seizes him.] + +MARY + +What is it? + +JOHN + +Can't be helped, I said. It's the very thing +that can be helped. + +MARY + +Can be helped, John? Whatever do you +mean? + +JOHN + +I mean he'd no right to stop me catching +that train. I've got the crystal, and I'll +catch it yet! + +MARY + +O, John, that's what you said you wouldn't +do. + +JOHN + +No. I said I'd do nothing to alter the past. +And I won't. I'm too content, Mary. But +this can't alter it. This is nothing. + +MARY + +What were you going to catch the train +for, John? + +JOHN + +For London. I wasn't at the office then. +It was a business appointment. There was a +man who had promised to get me a job, and +I was going up to . . . + +MARY + +John, it may alter your whole life! + +JOHN + +Now do listen, Mary, do listen. He never +turned up. I got a letter from him apologising +to me before I posted mine to him. It +turned out he never meant to help me, mere +meaningless affabilities. He never came to +London that day at all. I should have taken +the next train back. That can't affect the +future. + +MARY + +N-no, John. Still, I don't like it. + +JOHN + +What difference could it make? + +MARY + +N-n-no. + +JOHN + +Think how we met. We met at ARCHIE's +wedding. I take it one has to go to one's +brother's wedding. It would take a pretty +big change to alter that. And. you were her +bridesmaid. We were bound to meet. And +having once met, well, there you are. If we'd +met by chance, in a train, or anything like +that, well, then I admit some little change +might alter it. But when we met at ARCHIE's +wedding and you were her bridesmaid, why, +Mary, it's a cert. Besides, I believe in +predestination. It was our fate; we couldn't +have missed it. + +MARY + +No, I suppose not; still . . + +JOHN + +Well, what? + +MARY + +I don't like it. + +JOHN + +O, Mary, I have so longed to catch that +infernal train. Just think of it, annoyed on +and off for ten years by the eight-fifteen. + +MARY + +I'd rather you didn't, John. + +JOHN + +But why? + +MARY + +O, John, suppose there's a railway +accident? You might be killed, and we should +never meet. + +JOHN + +There wasn't. + +MARY + +There wasn't, John? What do you mean? + +JOHN + +There wasn't an accident to the eight-fifteen. +It got safely to London just ten years ago. + +MARY + +Why, nor there was. + +JOHN + +You see how groundless your fears are. +I shall catch that train, and all the rest will +happen the same as before. Just think +Mary, all those old days again. I wish I +could take you with me. But you soon will +be. But just think of the old days coming +back again. Hampton Court again and Kew, +and Richmond Park again with all the May. +And that bun you bought, and the corked +ginger-beer, and those birds singing and the +'bus past Isleworth. O, Mary, you wouldn't +grudge me that? + +MARY + +Well, well then all right, John. + +JOHN + +And you will remember there wasn't an +accident, won't you? + +MARY [resignedly, sadly] + +O, yes, John. And you won't try to get +rich or do anything silly, will you? + +JOHN + +No, Mary. I only want to catch that +train. I'm content with the rest. The same +things must happen, and they must lead me +the same way, to you, Mary. Good night, +now, dear. + +MARY + +Good night? + +JOHN + +I shall stay here on the sofa holding the +crystal and thinking. Then I'll have a +biscuit and start at seven. + +MARY + +Thinking, John? What about? + +JOHN + +Getting it clear in my mind what I want +to do. That one thing and the rest the same. +There must be no mistakes. + +MARY [sadly] + +Good night, John. + +JOHN + +Have supper ready at eleven. + +MARY + +Very well, John. +[Exit.] + +JOHN [on the sofa, after a moment or two] + +I'll catch that infernal train in spite of him. + +[He takes the crystal and closes it up in +the palm of his left hand.] + +I wish to go back ten years, two weeks and +a day, at, at--8.10 a.m. to-morrow; 8.10 a.m. +to-morrow, 8.10. + +[Re-enter MARY in doorway.] + +MARY + +John! John! You are sure he did get +his fifty pounds? + +JOHN + +Yes. Didn't he come to thank me for the +money? + +MARY + +You are sure it wasn't ten shillings? + +JOHN + +Cater paid him, I didn't. + +MARY + +Are you sure that Cater didn't give him +ten shillings? + +JOHN + +It's the sort of silly thing Cater would have +done! + +MARY + +O, John! + +JOHN + +Hmm. + + +Curtain + + + +SCENE 3 + +Scene: As in Act I, Scene 1. +Time. Ten years ago. + +BERT + +'Ow goes it, Bill? + +BILL + +Goes it? 'Ow d'yer think it goes? + +BERT + +I don't know, Bill. 'Ow is it? + +BILL + +Bloody. + +BERT + +Why, what's wrong? + +BILL + +Wrong? Nothing ain't wrong. + +BERT + +What's up, then? + +BILL + +Nothing ain't right. + +BERT + +Why, wot's the worry? + +BILL + +Wot's the worry? They don't give you +better wages nor a dog, and then they thinks +they can talk at yer and talk at yer, and say +wot they likes, like. + +BERT + +Why? You been on the carpet, Bill? + +BILL + +Ain't I! Proper. + +BERT + +Why? Wot about, Bill? + +BILL + +Wot about? I'll tell yer. Just coz I let +a lidy get into a train. That's wot about. +Said I ought to 'av stopped 'er. Thought the +train was moving. Thought it was dangerous. +Thought I tried to murder 'er, I suppose. + +BERT + +Wot? The other day? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT? + +Tuesday? + +BILL + +Yes. + +BERT + +Why? The one that dropped her bag? + +BILL + +Yes. Drops 'er bag. Writes to the +company. They writes back she shouldn't 'av +got in. She writes back she should. Then +they gets on to me. Any more of it and I'll. . . + +BERT + +I wouldn't, Bill; don't you. + +BILL + +I will. + +BERT + +Don't you, Bill. You've got your family +to consider. + +BILL + +Well, anyway, I won't let any more of +them passengers go jumping into trains any +more, not when they're moving, I won't. +When the train gets in, doors shut. That's +the rule, and they'll have to abide by it. + +[Enter JOHN BEAL.] + +BILL [touching his hat] +Good morning, sir. + +[JOHN does not answer, but walks to the +door between them.] + +Carry your bag, sir? + +JOHN + +Go to hell! + +[Exit through door.] + +BILL + +Ullo. + +BERT + +Somebody's been getting at 'im. + +BILL + +Well, I never did. Why, I knows the young +feller. + +BERT + +Pleasant spoken, ain't 'e, as a rule? + +BILL + +Never knew 'im like this. + +BERT + +You ain't bin sayin' nothing to 'im, 'ave +yer? + +BILL + +Never in my life. + +BERT + +Well, I never. + +BILL + +'Ad some trouble o' some kind. + +BERT + +Must 'ave. + +[Train is heard.] + +BILL + +Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying . . . + +Curtain + +SCENE 4 + +In a second-class railway carriage. + +Time: Same morning as Scene 1, Act I. + +Noise, and a scene drawn past the +windows. The scene, showing a +momentary glimpse of fair English hills, is +almost entirely placards, "GIVE HER +BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," +alternately, for ever. + +Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man. + +All sit in stoical silence like the two +images near Luxor. The man has the +window seat, and therefore the right of +control over the window. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having the window open? + +THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his +shoulders in a shivery way] + +Er--certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. +He opens the window.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Thank you so much. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict +her. Stoical silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +Would you mind having it shut now? I +think it is rather cold. + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Certainly. + +[He shuts it. Silence again.] + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +I think I'd like the window open again now +for a bit. It is rather stuffy, isn't it? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +Well, I think it's very cold. + +MIRALDA CLEMENT + +O, do you? But would you mind opening +it for me? + +MAN IN THE CORNER + +I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't +mind. + +[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and +her pretty face expresses the resignation of +the Christian martyr in the presence of +lions. This for the benefit of John.] + +JOHN + +Allow me, madam. + +[He leans across the window's rightful +owner, a bigger man than he, and opens his +window. + +MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders +and, quite sensibly, turns to his paper.] + +MIRALDA + +O, thank you so much. + +JOHN + +Don't mention it. + +[Silence again.] + +VOICES OF PORTERS [Off] + +Fan Kar, Fan Kar. + +[MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.] + +MIRALDA + +Could you tell me where this is? + +JOHN + +Yes. Elephant and Castle. + +MIRALDA + +Thank you so much. It was kind of you to +protect me from that horrid man. He wanted +to suffocate me. + +JOHN + +O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very +glad. + +MIRALDA + +I should have been afraid to have done it in +spite of him. It was splendid of you. + +JOHN + +O, that was nothing. + +MIRALDA + +O, it was, really. + +JOHN + +Only too glad to help you in any little way. + +MIRALDA + +It was so kind of you. + +JOHN + +O, not at all. + +[Silence for a bit.] + +MIRALDA + +I've nobody to help me. + +JOHN + +Er, er, haven't you really? + +MIRALDA + +No, nobody. + +JOHN + +I'd be very glad to help you in any little +way. + +MIRALDA + +I wonder if you could advise me. + +JOHN + +I--I'd do my best. + +MIRALDA + +You see, I have nobody to advise me. + +JOHN + +No, of course not. + +MIRALDA + +I live with my aunt, and she doesn't +understand. I've no father or mother. + +JOHN + +O, er, er, really? + +MIRALDA + +No. And an uncle died and he left me a +hundred thousand pounds. + +JOHN + +Really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it +out of contrariness as much as anything. +He was always like that to me. + +JOHN + +Was he? Was he really? + +MIRALDA + +Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per +cent. He never liked me. Thought I was +too--I don't know what. + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +That was five years ago, and I've never got +a penny of it. + +JOHN + +Really. But, but that's not right. + +MIRALDA [sadly] + +No. + +JOHN + +Where's it invested? + +MIRALDA + +In Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Where's that? + +MIRALDA + +I don't quite know. I never was good at +geography. I never quite knew where Persia +ends. + +JOHN + +And what kind of an investment was it? + +MIRALDA + +There's a pass in some mountains that they +can get camels over, and a huge toll is levied +on everything that goes by; that is the custom +of the tribe that lives there, and I believe +the toll is regularly collected. + +JOHN + +And who gets it? + +MIRALDA + +The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben +Hussein. But my uncle lent him all this +money, and the toll on the camels was what +they call the security. They always carry +gold and turquoise, you know. + +JOHN + +Do they? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, they get it from the rivers. + +JOHN + +I see. + +MIRALDA + +It does seem a shame his not paying, +doesn't it? + +JOHN + +A shame? I should think it is. An awful +shame. Why, it's a crying shame. He ought +to go to prison. + +MIRALDA + +Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard +to find him. It isn't as if it was this side of +Persia. It's being on the other side that is +such a pity. If only it was in a country like, +like . . . + +JOHN + +I'd soon find him. I'd . . . Why, a man +like that deserves anything. + +MIRALDA + +It is good of you to say that. + +JOHN + +Why, I'd . . . And you say you never +got a penny? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Well, that is a shame. I call that a +downright shame. + +MIRALDA + +Now, what ought I to do? + +JOHN + +Do? Well, now, you know in business +there's nothing like being on the spot. When +you're on the spot you can--but then, of +course, it's so far. + +MIRALDA + +It is, isn't it? + +JOHN + +Still, I think you should go if you could. +If only I could offer to help you in any way, +I would gladly, but of course . . . + +MIRALDA + +What would you do? + +JOHN + +I'd go and find that Hussein fellow; and +then . . . + +MIRALDA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +Why, I'd tell him a bit about the law, and +make him see that you didn't keep all that +money that belonged to someone else. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? + +JOHN + +Nothing would please me better. + +MIRALDA + +Would you really? Would you go all that +way? + +JOHN + +It's just the sort of thing that I should like, +apart from the crying shame. The man +ought to be . . . + +MIRALDA + +We're getting into Holborn. Would you +come and lunch somewhere with me and talk +it over? + +JOHN + +Gladly. I'd be glad to help. I've got to +see a man on business first. I've come up to +see him. And then after that, after that +there was something I wanted to do after that. +I can't think what it was. But something I +wanted to do after that. O, heavens, what +was it? + +[Pause.] + +MIRALDA + +Can't you think? + +JOHN + +No. O, well, it can't have been so very +important. And yet . . . Well, where shall +we lunch? + +MIRALDA + +Gratzenheim's. + +JOHN + +Right. What time? + +MIRALDA + +One-thirty. Would that suit? + +JOHN + +Perfectly. I'd like to get a man like +Hussein in prison. I'd like . . . O, I beg your +pardon. + +[He hurries to open the door. Exit +MIRALDA.] + +Now what was it I wanted to do +afterwards? + +[Throws hand to forehead.] +O, never mind. + +Curtain + + +ACT II + +SCENE + +JOHN's tent in Al Shaldomir. There +are two heaps of idols, left and right, lying +upon the ground inside the tent. DAOUD +carries another idol in his arms. JOHN +looks at its face. + +Six months have elapsed since the scene +in the second-class railway carriage. + +JOHN BEAL + +This god is holy. + +[He points to the left heap. DAOUD +carries it there and lays it on the heap.] + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You are in no wise to call me great master. +Have not I said so? I am not your master. +I am helping you people. I know better than +you what you ought to do, because I am +English. But that's all. I'm not your master, +See? + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, go and get some more idols. Hurry. + +DAOUD + +Great master, I go. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't make these people out. + +DAOUD [returning] + +I have three gods. + +JOHN BEAL [looking at their faces, pointing to +the two smaller idols first] +These two are holy. This one is unholy. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Put them on the heap. + +[DAOUD does so, two left, one right.] + +Get some more. + +[DAOUD salaams. Exit.] + +[Looking at right heap.] What a--what a +filthy people + +[Enter DAOUD with two idols.] + +JOHN BEAL [after scrutiny] + +This god is holy, this is unholy. + +[Enter ARCHIE BEAL, wearing a "Bowler" +hat.] + +Why, ARCHIE, this is splendid of you! +You've come! Why, that's splendid! All +that way! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I've come. Whatever are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's grand of you to come! I never +ought to have asked it of you, only . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But what in the world +are you doing? + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE, it's splendid of you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, cut it. That's all right. But what's all +this? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, this. Well, well they're the very oddest +people here. It's a long story. But I wanted +to tell you first how enormously grateful I +am to you for coming. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's all right. But I want to know +what you're doing with all these genuine +antiques. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, ARCHIE, the fact of it is they're a real +odd lot of people here. I've learnt their +language, more or less, but I don't think I quite +understand them yet. A lot of them are +Mahommedans; they worship Mahommed, +you know. He's dead. But a lot of them +worship these things, and . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what have you got 'em all in here +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's just it. I hate interfering with +them, but, well, I simply had to. You see +there's two sorts of idols here; they offer +fruit and rats to some of them; they lay them +on their hands or their laps. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why do they offer them rats? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. They don't know either. +It's the right thing to do out here, it's been +the right thing for hundreds of years; nobody +exactly knows why. It's like the bows we +have on evening shoes, or anything else. +But it's all right. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are you putting them in heaps +for? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because there's the other kind, the ones +with wide mouths and rust round them. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Rust? Yes, so there is. What do they +do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They offer blood to them, ARCHIE. They +pour it down their throats. Sometimes they +kill people, sometimes they only bleed them. +It depends how much blood the idol wants. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +How much blood it wants? Good Lord! +How do they know? + +JOHN BEAL + +The priests tell them. Sometimes they +fill them up to their necks--they're all hollow, +you know. In spring it's awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why are they worse in spring? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know. The priests ask for more +blood then. Much more. They say it always +was so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're stopping it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, I'm stopping these. One must. I'm +letting them worship those. Of course, it's +idolatry and all that kind of thing, but I +don't like interfering short of actual murder. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And they're obeying you? + +JOHN BEAL + +'M, y-yes. I think so. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You must have got a great hold over them. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know about that. It's the +pass that counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +The pass? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that place you came over. It's the +only way anyone can get here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose it is. But how does the pass +affect these idols? + +JOHN BEAL + +It affects everything here. If that pass +were closed no living man would ever enter +or leave, or even hear of, this country. It's +absolutely cut off except for that one pass. +Why, ARCHIE, it isn't even on the map. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I know. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, whoever owns that pass is everybody. +No one else counts. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And who does own it? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, it's actually owned by a fellow called +Hussein, but Miss Clement's uncle, a man +called Hinnard, a kind of lonely explorer, +seems to have come this way; and I think he +understood what this pass is worth. +Anyhow, he lent Hussein a big sum of money and +got an acknowledgment from Hussein. Old +Hinnard must have been a wonderfully +shrewd man. For that acknowledgment is +no more legal than an I.O.U., and Hussein +is simply a brigand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Not very good security. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, you're wrong there. Hussein himself +respects that piece of parchment he signed. +There's the name of some god or other written +on it Hussein is frightened of. Now you +see how things are. That pass is as holy as +all the gods that there are in Al Shaldomir. +Hussein possesses it. But he owes an +enormous sum to Miss Miralda Clement, and I am +here as her agent; and you've come to help +me like a great sportsman. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, never mind that. Well, it all seems +pretty simple. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, ARCHIE. Hussein +admits the debt, but . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what he'll do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Wants watching, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. And meanwhile I feel sort of +responsible for all these silly people. +Somebody's got to look after them. Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Bring in some more gods. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I can't get them to stop calling me absurd +titles. They're so infernally Oriental. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's got two big ones this time. + +JOHN BEAL [to ARCHIE] + +You see, there is rust about their mouths. +[To DAOUD]: They are both unholy. + +[He points to R. heap, and DAOUD +puts them there. To DAOUD.] + +Bring in some more. + +DAOUD + +Great master, there are no more gods in +Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN BEAL + +It is well. + +DAOUD + +What orders, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Listen. At night you shall come and take +these gods away. These shall be worshipped +again in their own place, these you shall cast +into the great river and tell no man where you +cast them. + +DAOUD + +Yes, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will do this, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am sorry to make you do it. You are +sad that you have to do it. Yet it must be +done. + +DAOUD + +Yes, I am sad, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why are you sad, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Great master, in times you do not know +these gods were holy. In times you have not +guessed. In old centuries, master, perhaps +before the pass. Men have prayed to them, +sorrowed before them, given offerings to +them. The light of old hearths has shone on +them, flames from old battles. The shadow +of the mountains has fallen on them, so +many times, master, so many times. Dawn +and sunset have shone on them, master, like +firelight flickering; dawn and sunset, dawn +and sunset, flicker, flicker, flicker for century +after century. They have sat there watching +the dawns like old men by the fire. They are +so old, master, so old. And some day dawn +and sunset will die away and shine on the +world no more, and they would have still +sat on in the cold. And now they go. . . +They are our history, master, they are our old +times. Though they be bad times they are +our times, master; and now they go. I am +sad, master, when the old gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they are bad gods, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +I am sad when the bad gods go. + +JOHN BEAL + +They must go, Daoud. See, there is no +one watching. Take them now. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +[He takes up the largest of the gods with +rust.] + +Come, Aho-oomlah, thou shalt not drink +Nideesh. + +JOHN BEAL + +Was Nideesh to have been sacrificed? + +DAOUD + +He was to have been drunk by Aho-oomlah. + +JOHN BEAL + +Nideesh. Who is he? + +DAOUD + +He is my son. + +[Exit with Aho-oomlah. +JOHN BEAL almost gasps.] + +ARCHIE BEAL [who has been looking round +the tent] + +What has he been saying? + +JOHN BEAL + +They're--they're a strange people. I +can't make them out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Is that the heap that oughtn't to be +worshipped? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, do you know, I'm going to chuck this +hat there. It doesn't seem to me somehow to +be any more right here than those idols would +be at home. Odd isn't it? Here goes. + +[He throws hat on right heap of idols. JOHN +BEAL does not smile.] + +Why, what's the matter? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't like to see a decent Christian hat +among these filthy idols. They've all got +rust on their mouths. I don't like to see +it, Archie; it's sort of like what they call +an omen. I don't like it. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Do they keep malaria here? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't think so. Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Then what's the matter, Johnny? Your nerves +are bad. + +JOHN BEAL + +You don't know these people, and I've brought +you out here. I feel kind of responsible. +If Hussein's lot turn nasty you don't +know what he'd do, with all those idols and +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He'll give 'em a drink, you mean. + +JOHN BEAL + +Don't, ARCHIE. There's no saying. And I +feel responsible for you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, they can have my hat. It looks +silly, somehow. I don't know why. What +are we going to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, now that you've come we can go +ahead. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Righto. What at? + +JOHN BEAL + +We've got to see Hussein's accounts, and +get everything clear in black and white, and +see just what he owes to Miss Miralda +Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But they don't keep accounts here. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you know? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, of course they don't. One can see +that. + +JOHN BEAL + +But they must. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, you haven't changed a bit for your +six months here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Haven't changed? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. Just quietly thinking of business. +You'll be a great business man, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we must do business; that's what I +came here for. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +You'll never make these people do it. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, what do you suggest? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Let's have a look at old Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's what I have been waiting for. +Daoud! + +DAOUD [off] + +Master. [Enters.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Go to the palace of the Lord of the pass +and beat on the outer door. Say that I +desire to see him. Pray him to come to my +tent. + +[DAOUD bows and Exit.] + +[To ARCHIE.] I've sent him to the palace +to ask Hussein to come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lives in a palace, does he? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's a palace, it's a wonderful place. +It's bigger than the Mansion House, much. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +And you're going to teach him to keep +accounts. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must. I hate doing it. It seems +almost like being rude to the Lord Mayor. +But there's two things I can't stand--cheating +in business is one and murder's another. +I've got to interfere. You see, if one happens +to know the right from wrong as we do, we've +simply got to tell people who don't. But +it isn't pleasant. I almost wish I'd never +come. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, it's the greatest sport in the world. +It's splendid. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see it that way. To me those idols +are just horrid murder. And this man owes +money to this girl with no one to look after +her, and he's got to pay. But I hate being +rude to a man in a place like the Mansion +House, even if he is black. Why, good Lord, +who am I? It seems such cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I say, Johnny, tell me about the lady. Is +she pretty? + +JOHN BEAL + +What, Miss Miralda? Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But what I mean is--what's she like? + +JOHN BEAL + +Oh, I don't know. It's very hard to say. +She's, she's tall and she's fair and she's got +blue eyes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, but I mean what kind of a person is +she? How does she strike you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, she's pretty hard up until she gets +this money, and she hasn't got any job that's +any good, and no real prospects bar this, +and nobody particular by birth, and doesn't +know anybody who is, and lives in the least +fashionable suburb and can only just afford +a second-class fare and . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, yes, go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +And yet somehow she sort of seems like +a--like a queen. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Lord above us! And what kind of a queen? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, I don't know. Well, look here, ARCHIE, +it's only my impression. I don't know her +well yet. It's only my impression. I only +tell you in absolute confidence. You won't +pass it on to anybody, of course. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. Go on. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I don't know, only she seemed more +like well, a kind of autocrat, you know, +who'd stop at nothing. Well, no, I don't +mean that, only . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +So you're not going to marry her? + +JOHN BEAL + +Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you'd +never dare ask her. She's not that sort. I +tell you she's a sort of queen. And (Good +Lord!) she'd be a queen if it wasn't for +Hussein, or something very like one. We can't +go marrying queens. Anyhow, not one like +her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not one like her? + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you--she's a--well, a kind of goddess. +You couldn't ask her if she loved you. It +would be such, such . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Such what? + +JOHN BEAL + +Such infernal cheek. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with +her. But it seems to me you'll be seeing a +good deal of her some day if we pull this off. +And then, my boy-o, you'll be going and +getting in love with her. + +JOHN BEAL + +I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to +the Queen of Sheba. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you +from her all I can. + +JOHN BEAL + +Protect me from her? Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because there's lots of other girls +and it seems to me you might be happier with +some of them. + +JOHN BEAL + +But you haven't even seen her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect +you I somehow think I will. And if I'm not +. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, and what then? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does +everything. I can't protect you. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but . . . + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike +Bluebeard.] + +JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] +My brother. + +[ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. +HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is +over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and +Hussein then bow to each other.] + +HUSSEIN + +You desired my presence. + +JOHN BEAL + +I am honoured. + +HUSSEIN + +And I. + +JOHN BEAL + +The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, +lent you one thousand greater gold pieces, +which in our money is one hundred thousand +pounds, as you acknowledge. [Hussein +nods his head.] And every year you were to +pay him for this two hundred and fifty of your +greater gold pieces--as you acknowledge also. + +HUSSEIN + +Even so. + +JOHN BEAL + +And this you have not yet had chance to +pay, but owe it still. + +HUSSEIN + +I do. + +JOHN BEAL + +And now Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with him. + +JOHN BEAL + +His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who +instructs me to be her agent. What have you +to say? + +HUSSEIN + +Peace be with Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +You acknowledge your debt to this lady, +Miss Miralda Clement? + +HUSSEIN + +I know her not. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will not pay your debt? + +HUSSEIN + +I will pay. + +JOHN BEAL + +If you bring the gold to my tent, my +brother will take it to Miss Clement. + +HUSSEIN + +I do not pay to Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +To whom do you pay? + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hinnard is dead. + +HUSSEIN + +I pay to Hinnard. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will you pay to Hinnard? + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried in the sea . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +He is not buried at sea. + +HUSSEIN + +If he be buried by any river I go to the god +of rivers. + +JOHN BEAL + +He is buried on land near no river. + +HUSSEIN + +Therefore I will go to a bronze god of +earth, very holy, having the soil in his care +and the things of earth. I will take unto him +the greater pieces of gold due up to the year +when the white traveller died, and will melt +them in fire at his feet by night on the +mountains, saying, " O, Lruru-onn (this is his +name) take this by the way of earth to the +grave of Hinnard." And so I shall be free +of my debt before all gods. + +JOHN BEAL + +But not before me. I am English. And +we are greater than gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that, Johnny? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay, but I told him we're English +and that they're greater than all his bronze +gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's right, Johnny. + +[HUSSEIN looks fiercely at ARCHIE. +He sees ARCHIE's hat lying before a big +idol. He points at the hat and looks in +the face of the idol.] + +HUSSEIN [to the idol] +Drink! Drink! + +[He bows. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What's that he's saying? + +JOHN BEAL [meditatively] +O, nothing--nothing. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He won't pay, oh? + +JOHN BEAL + +No, not to Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Who to? + +JOHN BEAL + +To one of his gods. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That won't do. + +JOHN BEAL + +No. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What'll we do? + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't quite know. It isn't as if we were in +England. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, it isn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +If we were in England . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I know; if we were in England you could +call a policeman. I tell you what it is, +Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I tell you what; you want to see more of +Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because at the present moment our +friend Hussein is a craftier fellow than you, +and looks like getting the best of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +How will seeing more of Miss Miralda help +us? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why, because you want to be a bit craftier +than Hussein, and I fancy she might make +you. + +JOHN BEAL + +She? How? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're mostly made what we are by some +woman or other. We think it's our own +cleverness, but we're wrong. As things are +you're no match for Hussein, but if you +altered . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE; where did you get all those +ideas from? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +You never used to talk like that. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, well. + +JOHN BEAL + +You haven't been getting in love, ARCHIE, +have you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +It's funny your mentioning Miss Miralda. +I got a letter from her the same day I got +yours. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What does she say? + +JOHN BEAL + +I couldn't make it out. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What were her words? + +JOHN BEAL + +She said she was going into it closer. She +underlined closer. What could she mean by +that? How could she get closer? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, the same way as I did. + +JOHN BEAL + +How do you mean? I don't understand. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +By coming here. + +JOHN BEAL + +By coming here? But she can't come here. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Because it's impossible. Absolutely +impossible. Why--good Lord--she couldn't +come here. Why, she'd want a chaperon and +a house and--and--everything. Good Lord, +she couldn't come here. It would be--well +it would be impossible--it couldn't be done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, all right. Then I don't know what she +meant. + +JOHN BEAL + +ARCHIE! You don't really think she'd come +here? You don't really think it, do you? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's the sort of thing that that sort of +girl might do, but of course I can't say . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Good Lord, ARCHIE! That would be awful. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? But what would I do? Where +would she go? Where would her chaperon +go? The chaperon would be some elderly +lady. Why, it would kill her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, if it did you've never met her, so you +needn't go into mourning for an elderly lady +that you don't know; not yet, anyway. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, of course not. You're laughing at me, +ARCHIE. But for the moment I took you +seriously. Of course, she won't come. One +can go into a thing closely without doing it +absolutely literally. But, good Lord, wouldn't +it be an awful situation if she did. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I don't know. + +JOHN BEAL + +All alone with me here? No, impossible. +And the country isn't civilised. + +ARCHIE BEAL. + +Women aren't civilised. + +JOHN BEAL + +Women aren't . . .? Good Lord, ARCHIE, +what an awful remark. What do you mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're tame, they're wild. We like all the +dull things and the quiet things, they like +all the romantic things and the dangerous +things. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, ARCHIE, it's just the other way about. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, yes; we do all the romantic things, and +all the dangerous things. But why? + +JOHN BEAL + +Why? Because we like them, I suppose. +I can't think of any other reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I hate danger. Don't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--well, yes, I suppose I do, really. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course you do. We all do. It's the +women that put us up to it. She's putting +you up to this. And the more she puts you +up to the more likely is Hussein to get it in his +fat neck. + +JOHN BEAL + +But--but you don't mean you'd hurt +Hussein? Not--not badly, I mean. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We're under her orders, Johnny. See what +she says. + +JOHN BEAL + +You, you don't really think she'll come +here? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Of course I do, and the best thing too. +It's her show; she ought to come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but you don't understand. She's +just a young girl, A girl like Miss Miralda +couldn't come out here over the pass and +down these mountains, she'd never stand it, +and as for the chaperon . . . You've +never met Miss Miralda. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, Johnny. But the girl that was able to +get you to go from Bromley to this place can +look after herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't see what that's got to do with it. +She was in trouble and I had to help her. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, and she'll be in trouble all the way +here from Blackheath, and everyone will have +to help her. + +JOHN BEAL + +What beats me is how you can have the +very faintest inkling of what she's like +without ever having seen her and without my +having spoken of her to you for more than a +minute. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, Johnny, you're not a romantic bird, +you're not a traveller by nature, barring your +one trip to Eastbourne, and it was I that took +you there. And contrariwise, as they say in +a book you've never read, you're a +levelheaded business man and a hardworking +respectable stay-at-home. You meet a girl +in a train, and the next time I see you you're +in a place that isn't marked on the map and +telling it what gods it ought to worship and +what gods it ought to have agnosticism about. +Well, I say some girl. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I must say you make the most +extraordinary deductions, but it was awfully good +of you to come, and I ought to be grateful; +and I am, too, I'm awfully grateful; and I +ought to let you talk all the rot you like. Go +ahead. You shall say what you like and do +what you like. It isn't many brothers that +would do what you've done. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, that's nothing. I like this country. +I'm glad I came. And if I can help you with +Hussein, why all the better. + +JOHN BEAL + +It's an awful country, Archie, but we've +got to see this through. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Does she know all about Hussein? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, everything. I've written fully. + +OMAR [Off] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways . . . + +JOHN BEAL [shouting| + +O, go away, go away. [To ARCHIE.] I said +it was an awful country. They sit down +outside one's tent and do that kind of thing for +no earthly reason. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I'd let them sing. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, you can't have people doing that kind of +thing. + +OMAR [in doorway] + +Master, I go. + +JOHN BEAL + +But why do you come? + +OMAR + +I came to sing a joyous song to you, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Why did you want to sing me a joyous +song? + +OMAR + +Because a lady is riding out of the West. +[Exit.] + +JOHN BEAL + +A lady out of . . . Good Lord! + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's coming, Johnny. + +JOHN BEAL + +Coming? Good Lord, no, Archie. He said +a lady; there'd be the chaperon too. There'd +be two of them if it was Miss Miralda. But +he said a lady. One lady. It can't be her. +A girl like that alone in Al Shaldomir. Clean +off the map. Oh, no, it isn't possible. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I wouldn't worry. + +JOHN BEAL + +Wouldn't worry? But, good Lord, the +situation's impossible. People would talk. +Don't you see what people would say? And +where could they go? Who would look after +them? Do try and understand how awful +it is. But it isn't. It's impossible. It can't +be them. For heaven's sake run out and see +if it is; and (good Lord!) I haven't brushed +my hair all day, and, and--oh, look at me. + +[He rushes to camp mirror. Exit +ARCHIE. + +JOHN BEAL tidies up desperately. + +Enter ARCHIE.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +It's what you call THEM. + +JOHN BEAL + +What I call THEM? Whatever do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, it's her. She's just like what you said. + +JOHN BEAL + +But it can't be. She doesn't ride. She can +never have been able to afford a horse. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +She's on a camel. She'll be here in a +moment. [He goes to door.] Hurry up with that +hair; she's dismounted. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, Lord! What's the chaperon like? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, she's attending to that herself. + +JOHN BEAL + +Attending to it herself? What do you +mean? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I expect she'll attend to most things. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN in doorway +of tent, pulling back flap a little.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Who are you? + +HAFIZ + +I show the gracious lady to your tent. + +[Enter MIRALDA CLEMENT, throwing +a smile to HAFIZ.] + +MIRALDA + +Hullo, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +Er--er--how do you do? + +[She looks at ARCHIE.] + +O, this is my brother--Miss Clement. + +MIRANDA and ARCHIE BEAL + +How do you do? + +MIRALDA + +I like this country. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid I hardly expected you. + +MIRALDA + +Didn't you? + +JOHN BEAL + +No. You see er--it's such a long way. +And wasn't it very expensive? + +MIRALDA + +Well, the captain of the ship was very kind +to me. + +JOHN BEAL + +O! But what did you do when you landed? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some Arabs coming this way +in a caravan. They were really very good to +me too. + +JOHN BEAL + +But the camel? + +MIRALDA + +O, there were some people the other side of +the mountains. Everybody has been very +kind about it. And then there was the man +who showed me here. He's called Hafiz el +Alcolahn. It's a nice name, don't you think? + +JOHN BEAL + +But, you know, this country, Miss +Clement, I'm half afraid it's hardly--isn't it, +Archie? Er--how long did you think of +staying? + +MIRALDA + +O, a week or so. + +JOHN BEAL + +I don't know what you'll think of Al +Shaldomir. I'm afraid you'll find it . . . + +MIRALDA + +Oh, I like it. Just that hollow in the +mountains, and the one pass, and no record of it +anywhere. I like that. I think it's lovely. + +JOHN BEAL + +You see, I'm afraid--what I mean is I'm +afraid the place isn't even on the map! + +MIRALDA + +O, that's lovely of it. + +JOHN BEAL + +All decent places are. + +MIRALDA + +You mean if a place is on the map we've +got to behave accordingly. But if not, why . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Hussein won't pay. + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid he's rather, he's rather a +savage-looking brigand. + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. + +[ARCHIE is quietly listening and smiling +sometimes. + +Enter DAOUD. He goes up to the +unholy heap and takes away two large idols, +one under each arm. Exit.] + +What's that, Mr. Beal? + +JOHN BEAL + +O, that. I'm afraid it's rather horrible. +I told you it was an awful country. They +pray to these idols here, and some are all +right, though of course it's terribly +blasphemous, but that heap, well, I'm afraid, well +that heap is very bad indeed. + +MIRALDA + +What do they do? + +JOHN BEAL + +They kill people. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How? + +JOHN BEAL + +I'm afraid they pour their blood down those +horrible throats. + +MIRALDA + +Do they? How do you know? + +JOHN BEAL + +I've seen them do it, and those mouths +are all rusty. But it's all right now. It +won't happen any more. + +MIRALDA + +Won't it? Why not? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, I . . . + +ARCHIE BEAL + +He's stopped them, Miss Clement. They're +all going to be thrown into the river. + +MIRALDA + +Have you? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, yes. I had to. So it's all right now. +They won't do it any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. + +JOHN BEAL + +What, what is it? I promise you that's all +right. They won't do that any more. + +MIRALDA + +H'm. I've never known anyone that tried +to govern a country or anything of that sort, +but . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Of course, I'm just doing what I can to put +them right.. . . I'd be very glad of your +advice. . . Of course, I'm only here in +your name. + +MIRALDA + +What I mean is that I'd always thought +that the one thing you shouldn't do, if you +don't mind my saying so. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +No, certainly. + +MIRALDA + +Was to interfere in people's +religious beliefs. + +JOHN BEAL + +But, but I don't think you quite +understand. The priests knife these people in the +throat, boys and girls, and then acolytes +lift them up and the blood runs down. I've +seen them. + +MIRALDA + +I think it's best to leave religion to the +priests. They understand that kind of thing. + +[JOHN BEAL opens his mouth in horror +and looks at ARCHIE. ARCHIE returns +the glance; there is very nearly a twinkle in +ARCHIE's eyes.] + +MIRALDA + +Let's see Hussein. + +JOHN BEAL + +What do you think, Archie? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Poor fellow. We'd better send for him. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you say "poor fellow"? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Oh, because he's so much in debt. It's +awful to be in debt. I'd sooner almost +anything happened to me than to owe a lot of +money. + +MIRALDA + +Your remark didn't sound very +complimentary. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, I only meant that I'd hate to be in debt. +And I should hate owing money to you, +Because . . . + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Because I should so awfully want to pay it. + +MIRALDA + +I see. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all I meant. + +MIRALDA + +Does Hussein awfully want to pay it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, no. But he hasn't seen you yet. He +will then, of course. + +[Enter DAOUD. He goes to the unholy +heap.] + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, for the present these gods must +stay. Aho-oomlah's gone, but the rest must +stay for the present. + +DAOUD + +Even so, great master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Daoud, go once more to the palace of the +Lord of the Pass and beat the outer door. +Say that the great lady herself would see him. +The great lady, Miss Clement, the white +traveller's heiress. + +DAOUD + +Yes, master. + +JOHN BEAL + +Hasten. + +[Exit DAOUD.] + +I have sent him for Hussein. + +MIRALDA + +I don't know their language. + +JOHN BEAL + +You will see him, and I'll tell you what he +says. + +MIRALDA [to ARCHIE] + +Have you been here long? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No. I think he wrote to me by the same +mail as he wrote to you (if they have mails +here). I came at once. + +MIRALDA + +So did I; but you weren't on the Empress +of Switzerland. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +No, I came round more by land. + +JOHN BEAL + +You know, I hardly like bringing Hussein +in here to see you. He's such a--he's rather +a . . . + +MIRALDA + +What's the matter with him? + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, he's rather of the brigand type, and +one doesn't know what he'll do. + +MIRALDA + +Well, we must see him first and hear what +he has to say before we take any steps. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what do you propose to do? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he pays me everything he owes, or +gives up the security . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +The security is the pass. + +MIRALDA + +Yes. If he gives up that or pays . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +You know he's practically king of the +whole country. It seems rather cheek almost +my sending for him like this. + +MIRALDA + +He must come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But what are you going to do? + +MIRALDA + +If he gives up the pass . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +Why, if he gives up the pass you'd be +you'd be a kind of queen of it all. + +MIRALDA + +Well, if he does that, all right. . . + +JOHN BEAL + +But what if he doesn't? + +MIRALDA + +Why, if he doesn't pay . . . + +HUSSEIN [off] + +I am here. + +JOHN BEAL + +Be seen. + +[Enter HUSSEIN.] + +HUSSEIN + +Greeting once more. + +JOHN BEAL + +Again greeting.... The great lady, +Miss Clement, is here. + +[HUSSEIN and MIRALDA look at each +other.] + +You will pay to Miss Clement and not to +your god of bronze. On the word of an +Englishman, your god of bronze shall not have +one gold piece that belongs to the great lady! + +HUSSEIN [looking contemptuous] + +On the word of the Lord of the Pass, I only +pay to Hinnard. + +[He stands smiling while MIRALDA +regards him. Exit.] + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well? + +JOHN BEAL + +He won't pay. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What are we to do now? + +JOHN BEAL [to MIRALDA] + +I'm afraid he's rather an ugly customer to +introduce you to like that. I'm sorry he came +now. + +MIRALDA + +O, I like him, I think he looks splendid. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Well, what are we to do? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +What do you say, Miss Clement? + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, what do you feel we ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, perhaps I ought to leave all that to +you. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +O, no. + +JOHN BEAL + +No, it's your money. What do you think +we really ought to do? + +MIRALDA + +Well, of course, I think you ought to kill +Hussein. + +[JOHN BEAL and ARCHIE BEAL look +at each other a little startled.] + +JOHN BEAL + +But wouldn't that--wouldn't that +be--murder? + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, according to the English law. + +JOHN BEAL + +I see; you mean--you mean we're not--but +we are English. + +MIRALDA + +I mean it wouldn't be murder--by your +law, unless you made it so. + +JOHN BEAL + +By my law? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, if you can interfere with their religion +like this, and none of them say a word, +why--you can make any laws you like. + +JOHN BEAL + +But Hussein is king here; he is Lord of the +Pass, and that's everything here. I'm nobody. + +MIRALDA + +O, if you like to be nobody, of course that's +different. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I think she means that if Hussein weren't +there there'd be only you. Of course, I don't +know. I've only just come. + +JOHN BEAL + +But we can't kill Hussein! + +[MIRALDA begins to cry.] + +O Lord! Good heavens! Please, Miss +Clement! I'm awfully sorry if I've said +anything you didn't like. I wouldn't do that for +worlds. I'm awfully sorry. It's a beastly +country, I know. I'm really sorry you came. +I feel it's all my fault. I'm really awfully +sorry. . . + +MIRALDA + +Never mind. Never mind. I was so +helpless, and I asked you to help me. I never +ought to have done it. I oughtn't to have +spoken to you at all in that train without +being introduced; but I was so helpless. And +now, and now, I haven't a penny in the world, +and, O, I don't know what to do. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +We'll do anything for you, Miss Clement. + +JOHN BEAL + +Anything in the wide world. Please, please +don't cry. We'll do anything. + +MIRALDA + +I . . . I only, I only wanted to--to kill +Hussein. But never mind, it doesn't matter +now. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll do it, Miss Clement, won't we, +Archie? Only don't cry. We'll do it. I--I +suppose he deserves it, doesn't he? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, I suppose he does. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, all right, Miss Clement, that's settled. +My brother and I will talk it over. + +MIRALDA [still sniping] + +And--and--don't hang him or anything--he +looks so fine.... I--I wouldn't like +him treated like that. He has such a grand +beard. He ought to die fighting. + +JOHN BEAL + +We'll see what we can do, Miss Clement. + +MIRALDA + +It is sweet of you. It's really sweet. It's +sweet of both of you. I don't know what I d +have done without you. I seemed to know +it that day the moment I saw you. + +JOHN BEAL + +O, it's nothing, Miss Clement, nothing at +all. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +That's all right. + +MIRALDA + +Well, now I'll have to look for an hotel. + +JOHN BEAL + +Yes, that's the trouble, that really is the +trouble. That's what I've been thinking of + +MIRALDA + +Why, isn't there . . . + +JOHN BEAL + +No, I'm afraid there isn't. What are we to +do, Archie. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +I--I can't think. Perhaps Miss Clement +would have a scheme. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN BEAL] + +I rely on you, Mr. Beal. + +JOHN BEAL + +I--I; but what can I . . . You see, +you're all alone. If you'd anyone with you, +you could have . . . + +MIRALDA + +I did think of bringing a rather nice aunt. +But on the whole I thought it better not to +tell anyone. + +JOHN BEAL + +Not to tell . . . + +MIRALDA + +No, on the whole I didn't. + +JOHN BEAL + +I say, Archie, what are we to do? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Here's Daoud. + +[Enter DAOUD.] + +JOHN BEAL + +The one man I trust in Al Shaldomir! + +DAOUD + +I have brought two watchers of the +doorstep to guard the noble lady. + +JOHN BEAL + +He says he's brought two watchers of the +doorstep to look after Miss Clement. + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Two chaperons! Splendid! She can go +anywhere now. + +JOHN BEAL + +Well, really, that is better. Yes that will +be all right. We can find a room for you now. +The trouble was your being alone. I hope +you'll like them. [To DAOUD.] Tell them +to enter here. + +DAOUD [beckoning in the doorway] + +Ho! Enter! + +JOHN BEAL + +That's all right, ARCHIE, isn't it? + +ARCHIE BEAL + +Yes, that's all right. A chaperon's a +chaperon, black or white. + +JOHN BEAL + +You won't mind their being black, will you, +Miss Clement? + +MIRALDA + +No, I shan't mind. They can't be worse +than white ones. + +[Enter BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA +two enormous Nubians, bearing peacock +fans and wearing scimitars. All stare at +them. They begin to fan slightly.] + +DAOUD + +The watchers of the doorstep. + +JOHN BEAL + +Idiot, Daoud! Fools! Dolts! Men may +not guard a lady's door. + +[BAZZALOL and THOOTHOOBABA smile +ingratiatingly.] + +We are not men. + +BAZZALOL [bowing] + +Curtain + +Six and a half years elapse + + +THE SONG OF THE IRIS MARSHES + +When morn is bright on the mountains olden + Till dawn is lost in the blaze of day, + When morn is bright and the marshes golden, +Where shall the lost lights fade away? + And where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +Dawn is fled to the marshy hollows + Where ghosts of stars in the dimness stray, +And the water is streaked with the flash of +swallows + And all through summer the iris sway. + But where, my love, shall we dream to-day? + +When night is black in the iris marshes. + + +ACT III + +SCENE 1 + +Six and a half years later. +Al Shaldomir. +A room in the palace. + +MIRALDA reclines on a heap of cushions, +JOHN beside her. + +Bazzalol and Thoothoobaba fan them. + +OMAR [declaiming to a zither] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, + The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God + And after Paradise, all praise. + Thou art the theme of all their lays. +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir. . . . + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Omar. + +OMAR + +O lady, I depart. +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA [languidly] + +John, John. I wish you'd marry me. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you're thinking of those old +customs again that we left behind us seven years +ago. What's the good of it? + +MIRALDA + +I had a fancy that I wished you would. + +JOHN + +What's the good of it? You know you are +my beloved. There are none of those +clergymen within hundreds of miles. What's the +good of it? + +MIRALDA + +We could find one, John. + +JOHN + +O, yes, I suppose we could, but . . . + +MIRALDA + +Why won't you? + +JOHN + +I told you why. + +MIRALDA + +O, yes, that instinct that you must not +marry. That's not your reason, John. + +JOHN + +Yes, it is. + +MIRALDA + +It's a silly reason. It's a crazy reason. +It's no reason at all. There's some other +reason. + +JOHN + +No, there isn't. But I feel that in my +bones. I don't know why. You know that +I love none else but you. Besides, we're +never going back, and it doesn't matter. +This isn't Blackheath. + +MIRALDA + +So I must live as your slave. + +JOHN + +No, no, Miralda. My dear, you are not my +slave. Did not the singer compare our love +to the desire of the nightingale for the +evening star? All know that you are my queen. + +MIRALDA + +They do not know at home. + +JOHN + +Home? Home? How could they know? +What have we in common with home? Rows +and rows of little houses; and if they hear a +nightingale there they write to the papers. +And--and if they saw this they'd think they +were drunk. Miralda, don't be absurd. +What has set you thinking of home? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +But I am not a king. I am only Shereef. + +MIRALDA + +You are all-powerful here, John, you can do +what you please, if you wish to. You don't +love me at all. + +JOHN + +Miralda, you know I love you. Didn't +I kill Hussein for you? + +MIRALDA + +Yes, but you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +And Hussein's people killed ARCHIE. That +was for you too. I brought my brother out +here to help you. He was engaged to be +married, too. + +MIRALDA + +But you don't love me now. + +JOHN + +Yes, I do. I love you as the dawn loves +the iris marshes. You know the song they +sing. (footnote: poem just before Act III) + +MIRALDA + +Then why won't you marry me? + +JOHN + +I told you, I told you. I had a dream about +the future. I forgot the dream, but I know +I was not to marry. I will not wrong the +future. + +MIRALDA + +Don't be crazy. + +JOHN + +I will have what fancies I please, crazy or +sane. Am I not Shereef of Shaldomir? Who +dare stop me if I would be mad as Herod? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +It is not my wish. + +MIRALDA + +I will, I will, I will. + +JOHN + +Drive me not to anger. If I have you cast +into a well and take twenty of the fairest +daughters of Al Shaldomir in your place, who +can gainsay me? + +MIRALDA + +I will be crowned queen. + +JOHN + +O, do not be tiresome. + +MIRALDA + +Was it not my money that brought you +here? Was it not I who said " Kill Hussein"? +What power could you have had, had +Hussein lived? What would you have been doing +now, but for me? + +JOHN + +I don't know, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Catching some silly train to the City. +Working for some dull firm. Living in some +small suburban house. It is I, I, that brought +you from all that, and you won't make me a +queen. + +JOHN + +Is it not enough that you are my beloved? +You know there is none other but you. Is +it not enough, Miralda? + +MIRALDA + +It is not enough. I will be queen. + +JOHN + +Tchah! . . . Miralda, I know you are a +wonderful woman, the most wonderful in the +East; how you ever came to be in the West +I don't know, and a train of all places; but, +Miralda, you must not have petty whims, +they don't become you. + +MIRALDA + +Is it a petty whim to wish to be a queen? + +JOHN + +Yes, when it is only the name you want. +You are a queen. You have all you wish for. +Are you not my beloved? And have I not +power here over all men? Could I not close +the pass? + +MIRALDA + +I want to be queen. + +JOHN + +Oh-h! I will leave you. I have more to do +than to sit and hear your whims. When I +come back you will have some other whim. +Miralda, you have too many whims. + +[He rises.] + +MIRALDA + +Will you be back soon? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +When will you come back, John? + +[She is reclining, looking fair, fanning +slightly.] + +JOHN + +In half an hour. + +MIRALDA + +In half an hour? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +[Exit.] + +MIRALDA + +Half an hour. + +[Her fan is laid down. She clutches +it with sudden resolve. She goes to the +wall, fanning herself slowly. She leans +against it. She fans herself now with +obvious deliberation. Three times the +great fan goes pat against the window, and +then again separately three times; and +then she puts it against the window once +with a smile of ecstasy. She has signalled. +She returns to the cushions and reclines +with beautiful care, fanning herself softly. + +Enter the Vizier, HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN] + +HAFIZ + +Lady! You bade me come. + +MIRALDA + +Did I, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, your fan. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, I was fanning myself. + +HAFIZ + +Seven times, lady. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, was it? Well, now you're here. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O star of these times. O light over +lonely marshes. [He kneels by her and +embraces her.] Is the Shereef gone, lady? + +MIRALDA + +For half an hour, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +How know you for half an hour? + +MIRALDA + +He said so. + +HAFIZ + +He said so? Then is the time to fear, if a +man say so. + +MIRALDA + +I know him. + +HAFIZ + +In our country who knows any man so +much? None. + +MIRALDA + +He'll be away for half an hour. + +HAFIZ [embracing] + +O, exquisite lily of unattainable mountains. + +MIRALDA + +Ah, Hafiz, would you do a little thing for +me? + +HAFIZ + +I would do all things, lady, O evening +star. + +MIRANDA + +Would you make me a queen, Hafiz? + +HAFIZ + +If--if the Shereef were gathered? + +MIRALDA + +Even so, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I would make you queen of all that +lies west of the passes. + +MIRANDA + +You would make me queen? + +HAFIZ + +Indeed, before all my wives, before all +women, over all Shaldomir, named the elect. + +MIRALDA + +O, well, Hafiz; then you may kiss me. +[HAFIZ does so ad lib.] + +Hafiz, the Shereef has irked me. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O singing star, to all men is the hour. + +MIRALDA + +The appointed hour? + +HAFIZ + +Even the appointed hour, the last, leading +to darkness. + +MIRALDA + +Is it written, think you, that the Shereef's +hour is soon? + +HAFIZ + +Lady, O dawn's delight, let there be a +banquet. Let the great ones of Shaldomir be +bidden there. + +MIRALDA + +There shall be a banquet, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Soon, O lady. Let it be soon, sole lily of +the garden. + +MIRALDA + +It shall be soon, Hafiz. +[More embraces.] + +HAFIZ + +And above all, O lady, bid Daoud, the son +of the baker. + +MIRALDA + +He shall be bidden, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +O lady, it is well. + +MIRALDA + +Go now, Hafiz. + +HAFIZ + +Lady, I go [giving a bag of gold to BAZZALOL]. +Silence. Silence. Silence. + +BAZZALOL [kneeling] + +O, master! + +HAFIZ + +Let the tomb speak; let the stars cry out; +but do you be silent. + +BAZZALOL + +Aye, master. + +HAFIZ [to THOOTHOOBABA] + +And you. Though this one speak, yet be +silent, or dread the shadow of Hafiz el +Alcolahn. + +[He drops a bag of gold. +THOOTHOOBABA goes down and grabs at the gold; +his eyes gloat over it.] + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, I speak not. Oh-h-h. + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +MIRALDA arranges herself on the +cushions. She looks idly at each Nubian. The +Nubians put each a finger over his lips and +go on fanning with one hand.] + +MIRALDA + +A queen. I shall look sweet as a queen. + +[Enter JOHN. She rises to greet him +caressingly. + +Enter DAOUD.] + +Oh, you have brought Daoud with you. + +JOHN + +Why not? + +MIRALDA + +You know that I don't like Daoud. + +JOHN + +I wish to speak with him. + +[MIRALDA looks straight at JOHN and +moves away in silence. Exit L.] + +JOHN + +Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Great master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, one day in spring, in the cemetery +of those called Blessed, beyond the city's +gates, you swore to me by the graves of both +your parents . . . . + +DAOUD + +Great master, even so I swore. + +JOHN + +. . . . to be true to me always. + +DAOUD + +There is no Shereef but my master. + +JOHN + +Daoud, you have kept your word. + +DAOUD + +I have sought to, master. + +JOHN + +You have helped me often, Daoud, warned +me and helped me often. Through you I +knew those currents that run through the +deeps of the market, in silence and all men +feel them, but a ruler never. You told me of +them, and when I knew--then I could look +after myself, Daoud. They could do nothing +against me then. Well, now I hold this +people. I hold them at last, Daoud, and now +--well, I can rest a little. + +DAOUD + +Not in the East, master. + +JOHN + +Not in the East, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Why? What do you mean? + +DAOUD + +In Western countries, master, whose tales +I have read, in a wonderful book named the +"Good Child's History of England," in the +West a man hath power over a land, and lo! +the power is his and descends to his son's son +after him. + +JOHN + +Well, doesn't it in the East? + +DAOUD + +Not if he does not watch, master; in the +night and the day, and in the twilight +between the day and the night, and in the dawn +between the night and the day. + +JOHN + +I thought you had pretty long dynasties +in these parts, and pretty lazy ones. + +DAOUD + +Master, he that was mightiest of those that +were kings in Babylon had a secret door +prepared in an inner chamber, which led to a +little room, the smallest in the palace, whose +back door opened secretly to the river, even +to great Euphrates, where a small boat waited +all the days of his reign. + +JOHN + +Did he really now? Well, he was taking no +chances. Did he have to use it? + +DAOUD + +No, master. Such boats are never used. +Those that watch like that do not need to +seek them, and the others, they would never +be able to reach the river in time, even though +the boat were there. + +JOHN + +I shouldn't like to have to live like that. +Why, a river runs by the back of this palace. +I suppose palaces usually are on rivers. I'm +glad I don't have to keep a boat there. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it you are worrying about? +Who is it you are afraid of? + +DAOUD + +Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +O, Hafiz. I have no fears of Hafiz. Lately +I ordered my spies to watch him no longer. +Why does he hate me? + +DAOUD + +Because, most excellent master, you slew +Hussein. + +JOHN + +Slew Hussein? What is that to do with +him? May I not slay whom I please? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Even so. But he was +Hussein's enemy. + +JOHN + +His enemy, eh? + +DAOUD + +For years he had dreamed of the joy of +killing Hussein. + +JOHN + +Well, he should have done it before I came. +We don't hang over things and brood over +them for years where I come from. If a +thing's to be done, it's done. + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. Hafiz had laid his plans +for years. He would have killed him and got +his substance; and then, when the hour drew +near, you came, and Hussein died, swiftly, +not as Hafiz would have had him die; and +lo! thou art the lord of the pass, and Hafiz is +no more than a beetle that runs about in the +dirt. + +JOHN + +Well, so you fear Hafiz? + +DAOUD + +Not for himself, master. Nay, I fear not +Hafiz. But, master, hast thou seen when the +thunder is coming, but no rumble is heard +and the sky is scarce yet black, how little +winds run in the grass and sigh and die; and +the flower beckons a moment with its head; +all the world full of whispers, master, all +saying nothing; then the lightning, master, and +the anger of God; and men say it came +without warning? [Simply.] I hear those things +coming, master. + +JOHN + +Well? + +DAOUD + +Master, it is all silent in the market. Once, +when the price of turquoises was high, men +abused the Shereef. When the merchant men +could not sell their pomegranates for silver +they abused the Shereef. It is men's way, +master, men's way. Now it is all silent in the +market. It is like the grasses with the idle +winds, that whisper and sigh and die away; +like the flowers beckoning to nothing. And +so, master, and so . . . . + +JOHN + +I see, you fear some danger. + +DAOUD + +I fear it, master. + +JOHN + +What danger, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Master, I know not. + +JOHN + +From what quarter, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +O master, O sole Lord of Al Shaldomir, +named the elect, from that quarter. + +JOHN + +That quarter? Why, that is the gracious +lady's innermost chamber. + +DAOUD + +From that quarter, great master, O Lord +of the Pass. + +JOHN + +Daoud, I have cast men into prison for +saying less than this. Men have been flogged +on the feet for less than this. + +DAOUD + +Slay me, master, but hear my words. + +JOHN + +I will not slay you. You are mistaken, +Daoud. You have made a great mistake. +The thing is absurd. Why, the gracious lady +has scarcely seen Hafiz. She knows nothing +of the talk of the market. Who could tell +her? No one comes here. It is absurd. Only +the other day she said to me . . . But it +is absurd, it is absurd, Daoud. Besides, the +people would never rebel against me. Do I +not govern them well? + +DAOUD + +Even so, master. + +JOHN + +Why should they rebel, then? + +DAOUD + +They think of the old times, master. + +JOHN + +The old times? Why, their lives weren't +safe. The robbers came down from the +mountains and robbed the market whenever they +had a mind. + +DAOUD + +Master, men were content in the old times. + +JOHN + +But were the merchants content? + +DAOUD + +Those that loved merchandise were +content, master. Those that loved it not went +into the mountains. + +JOHN + +But were they content when they were +robbed? + +DAOUD + +They soon recovered their losses, master. +Their prices were unjust and they loved usury. + +JOHN + +And were the people content with unjust +prices? + +DAOUD + +Some were, master, as men have to be in +all countries. The others went into the +mountains and robbed the merchants. + +JOHN + +I see. + +DAOUD + +But now, master, a man robs a merchant +and he is cast into prison. Now a man is +slain in the market and his son, his own son, +master, may not follow after the aggressor +and slay him and burn his house. They are +ill-content, master. No man robs the +merchants, no man slays them, and the +merchants' hearts are hardened and they oppress +all men. + +JOHN + +I see. They don't like good government? + +DAOUD + +They sigh for the old times, master. + +JOHN + +I see; I see. In spite of all I have done for +them, they want their old bad government +back again. + +DAOUD + +It is the old way, master. + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. And so they would rebel. Well, +we must watch. You have warned me once +again, Daoud, and I am grateful. But you +are wrong, Daoud, about the gracious lady. +You are mistaken. It is impossible. You are +mistaken, Daoud. I know it could not be. + +DAOUD + +I am mistaken, master. Indeed, I am +mistaken. Yet, watch. Watch, master. + +JOHN + +Well, I will watch. + +DAOUD + +And, master, if ever I come to you bearing +oars, then watch no longer, master, but follow +me through the banquet chamber and through +the room beyond it. Move as the wild deer +move when there is danger, without pausing, +without wondering, without turning round; +for in that hour, master, in that hour . . . . + +JOHN + +Through the room beyond the banquet +chamber, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +Aye, master, following me. + +JOHN + +But there is no door beyond, Daoud. + +DAOUD + +Master, I have prepared a door. + +JOHN + +A door, Daoud? + +DAOUD + +A door none wots of, master. + +JOHN + +Whither does it lead? + +DAOUD + +To a room that you know not of, a little +room; you must stoop, master. + +JOHN + +O, and then? + +DAOUD + +To the river, master. + +JOHN + +The river! But there's no boat there. + +DAOUD + +Under the golden willow, master. + +JOHN + +A boat? + +DAOUD + +Even so, under the branches. + +JOHN + +Is it come to that? . . . No, Daoud, all +this is unnecessary. It can't come to that. + +DAOUD + +If ever I come before you bearing two oars, +in that hour, master, it is necessary. + +JOHN + +But you will not come. It will never come +to that. + +DAOUD + +No, master. + +JOHN + +A wise man can stop things before they +get as far as that. + +DAOUD + +They that were kings in Babylon were wise +men, master. + +JOHN + +Babylon! But that was thousands of +years ago. + +DAOUD + +Man changes not, master. + +JOHN + +Well, Daoud, I will trust you, and if it +ever comes to that . . . + +[Enter MIRALDA.] + +MIRALDA + +I thought Daoud was gone. + +DAOUD + +Even now I go, gracious lady. + +[Exit DAOUD. Rather strained silence +with JOHN and MIRALDA till he goes. +She goes and retakes herself comfortable +on the cushions. He is not entirely at ease.] + +MIRALDA + +You had a long talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he came and talked a good deal. + +MIRALDA + +What about? + +JOHN + +O, just talk; you know these Eastern +people. + +MIRALDA + +I thought it was something you were +discussing with him. + +JOHN + +O, no. + +MIRALDA + +Some important secret. + +JOHN + +No, not at all. + +MIRALDA + +You often talk with Daoud. + +JOHN + +Yes, he is useful to me. When he talks +sense I listen, but to-day . . . + +MIRALDA + +What did he come for to-day? + +JOHN + +O, nothing. + +MIRALDA + +You have a secret with Daoud that you +will not share with me. + +JOHN + +No, I have not. + +MIRALDA + +What was it he said? + +JOHN + +He said there was a king in Babylon who . . . + +[DAOUD slips into the room.] + +MIRALDA + +In Babylon? What has that to do with +us? + +JOHN + +Nothing. I told you he was not talking +sense. + +MIRALDA + +Well, what did he say? + +JOHN + +He said that in Babylon . . . + +DAOUD + +Hist! + +JOHN + +O, well . . . + +[MIRALDA glares, but calms herself +and says nothing. + +Exit DAOUD.] + +MIRALDA + +What did Daoud say of Babylon? + +JOHN + +O, well, as you say, it had nothing to do +with us. + +MIRALDA + +But I wish to hear it. + +JOHN + +I forget. + +[For a moment there is silence.] + +MIRALDA + +John, John. Will you do a little thing for +me? + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Say you will do it, John. I should love to +have one of my little wishes granted. + +JOHN + +What is it? + +MIRALDA + +Kill Daoud, John. I want you to kill +Daoud. + +JOHN + +I will not. + +[He walks up and down in front of the +two Nubians in silence. She plucks +petulantly at a pillow. She suddenly calms +herself. A light comes into her eyes. The +Nubians go on fanning. JOHN goes on +pacing.] + + MIRALDA + +John, John, I have forgotten my foolish +fancies. + +JOHN + +I am glad of it. + +MIRALDA + +I do not really wish you to kill Daoud. + +JOHN [same voice] + +I'm glad you don't. + +MIRALDA + +I have only one fancy now, John. + +JOHN + +Well, what is it? + +MIRALDA + +Give a banquet, John. I want you to give +a banquet. + +JOHN + +A banquet? Why? + +MIRALDA + +Is there any harm in my fancy? + +JOHN + +No. + +MIRALDA + +Then if I may not be a queen, and if you +will not kill Daoud for me, give a banquet, +John. There is no harm in a banquet. + +JOHN + +Very well. When do you want it? + +MIRALDA + +To-morrow, John. Bid all the great ones +to it, all the illustrious ones in Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN + +Very well. + +MIRALDA + +And bid Daoud come. + +JOHN + +Daoud? You asked me to kill him. + +MIRALDA + +I do not wish that any longer, John. + +JOHN + +You have queer moods, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +May I not change my moods, John? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't understand them. + +MIRALDA + +And ask Hafiz el Alcolahn, John. + +JOHN + +Hafiz? Why? + +MIRALDA + +I don't know, John. It was just my fancy. + +JOHN + +Your fancy, eh? + +MIRALDA + +That was all. + +JOHN + +Then I will ask him. Have you any other +fancy? + +MIRALDA + +Not now, John. + +JOHN + +Then go, Miralda. + +MIRALDA + +Go? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +JOHN + +Because I command it. + +MIRALDA + +Because you command it? + +JOHN + +Yes, I, the Shereef Al Shaldomir. + +MIRALDA + +Very well. + +[Exit L. + +He walks to the door to see that she is +really gone. He comes back to centre and +stands with back to audience, pulling a +cord quietly from his pocket and arranging +it. + +He moves half left and comes up behind +BAZZALOL. Suddenly he slips the cord +over BAZZALOL's head, and tightens it +round his neck.] + +[BAZZALOL flops on his knees. + +THOOTHOOBABA goes on fanning.] + +JOHN + +Speak! + +[BAZZALOL is silent. + +JOHN tightens it more. THOOTHOOBABA +goes on quietly fanning.] + +BAZZALOL + +I cannot. + +JOHN + +If you would speak, raise your left hand. +If you raise your left hand and do not speak +you shall die. + +[BAZZALOL is silent. JOHN tightens +more. BAZZALOL raises his great flabby +left hand high. JOHN releases the cord. +BAZZALOL blinks and moves his mouth.] + +BAZZALOL + +Gracious Shereef, one visited the great +lady and gave us gold, saying, "Speak not." + +JOHN + +When? + +BAZZALOL + +Great master, one hour since. + +JOHN [a little viciously] + +Who? + +BAZZALOL + +O heaven-sent, he was Hafiz el Alcolahn. + +JOHN + +Give me the gold. + +[BAZZALOL gives it.] + +[To THOOTHOOBABA.] Give me the +gold. + +THOOTHOOBABA + +Master, none gave me gold. + +[John touches his dagger, and looks like +using it. + +THOOTHOOBABA gives it.] + +JOHN + +Take back your gold. Be silent about this. +You too. + +[He throws gold to BAZZALOL.] + +Gold does not make you silent, but there is +a thing that does. What is that thing? +Speak. What thing makes you silent? + +BAZZALOL + +O, great master, it is death. + +JOHN + +Death, eh? And how will you die if you +speak? You know how you will die? + +BAZZALOL + +Yes, heaven-sent. + +JOHN + +Tell your comrade, then. + +BAZZALOL + +We shall be eaten, great master. + +JOHN + +You know by what? + +BAZZALOL + +Small things, great master, small things. +Oh-h-h-h. Oh-h-h. + +[THOOTHOOBABA's knees scarcely hold +him.] + +JOHN + +It is well. + + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +A small street. Al Shaldomir. + +Time: Next day. + +[Enter L. the SHEIK OF THE +BISHAREENS. + +He goes to an old green door, pointed of +course in the Arabic way.] + +SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS + +Ho, Bishareens! + +[The BISHAREENS run on.] + +SHEIK + +It is the place and the hour. + +BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +SHEIK [to FIRST BISHAREEN] + +Watch. + +[FIRST BISHAREEN goes to right and +watches up sunny street.] + +FIRST BISHAREEN + +He comes. + +[Enter HAFIZ EL ALCOLAHN. He goes +straight up to the SHEIK and whispers.] + +SHEIK [turning] + +Hear, O Bishareens. + +[HAFIZ places flute to his lips.] + +A BISHAREEN + +And the gold, master? + +SHEIK + +Silence! It is the signal. + +[HAFIZ plays a weird, strange tune on +his flute.] + +HAFIZ + +So. + +SHEIK + +Master, once more. + +[HAFIZ raises the flute again to his lips.] + +SHEIK + +Hear, O Bishareens! + +[He plays the brief tune again.] + +HAFIZ [to SHEIK] + +Like that. + +SHEIK + +We have heard, O master. + +[He walks away L. Hands move in +the direction of knife-hilts.] + +THE BISHAREENS + +Ah, ah! + +[Exit HAFIZ. + +He plays a merry little tune on his +flute as he walks away.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 3 + +The banqueting hall. A table along the +back. JOHN and MIRALDA seated with +notables of Al Shaldomir. + +JOHN sits in the centre, with MIRALDA +on his right and, next to her, HAFIZ EL +ALCOLAHN. + +MIRALDA [to JOHN] + +You bade Daoud be present? + +JOHN + +Yes. + +MIRALDA + +He is not here. + +JOHN + +Daoud not here? + +MIRALDA + +No. + +JOHN + +Why? + +MIRALDA + +We all obey you, but not Daoud. + +JOHN + +I do not understand it. + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef has frowned. + +[Enter R. an OFFICER-AT-ARMS. He +halts at once and salutes with his sword, +then takes a side pace to his left, standing +against the wall, sword at the carry. + +JOHN acknowledges salute by touching +his forehead with the inner tips of his +fingers.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +Soldiers of Al Shaldomir; with the +dance-step; march. + +[Enter R. some men in single file; +uniform, pale green silks; swords at carry. +They advance in single file, in a slightly +serpentine way, deviating to their left a +little out of the straight and returning to it, +stepping neatly on the tips of their toes. +Their march is fantastic and odd without +being exactly funny. + + The OFFICER-AT-ARMS falls in on their + left flank and marches about level with the + third or fourth man. + When he reaches the centre he gives + another word of command.] + +OFFICER-AT-ARMS + +With reverence: Salute. + +[The actor who takes this part should +have been an officer or N. C. O. + +JOHN stands up and acknowledges their +salute by touching his forehead with the +fingers of the right hand, palm turned +inwards. + +Exeunt soldiers L. JOHN sits down.] + +A NOTABLE + +He does not smile this evening. + +A WOMAN + +The Shereef? + +NOTABLE + +He has not smiled. + +[Enter R. ZABNOOL, a CONJURER, with +brass bowl. He bows. He walks to centre +opposite JOHN. He exhibits his bowl.] + +ZABNOOL + +Behold. The bowl is empty. + +[ZABNOOL produces a snake.] + +ZABNOOL + +Ah, little servant of Death. + +[He produces flowers.] + +Flowers, master, flowers. All the way from +Nowhere. + +[He produces birds.] + +Birds, master. Birds from Nowhere. +Sing, sing to the Shereef. Sing the little +empty songs of the land of Nowhere. + +[He seats himself on the ground facing +JOHN. He puts the bowl on the ground. +He places a piece of silk, with queer +designs on it over the bowl. He partly +draws the silk away with his left hand and +puts in his right. He brings out a young +crocodile and holds it by the neck.] + +CONJURER + +Behold, O Shereef; O people, behold; a +crocodile. + +[He arises and bows to JOHN and wraps +up the crocodile in some drapery and walks +away. As he goes he addresses his +crocodile.] + +O eater of lambs, O troubler of the rivers, +you sought to evade me in an empty bowl. +O thief, O appetite, you sought to evade the +Shereef. The Shereef has seen you, O vexer +of swimmers, O pig in armour, O . . . + +[Exit. + +SHABEESH, another CONJURER, rushes +on.] + +SHABEESH + +Bad man, master; he very, very bad man. + +[He pushes ZABNOOL away roughly, +impetus of which carries ZABNOOL to the +wings.] + +Very, very bad man, master. + +MIRALDA [reprovingly] + +Zabnool has amused us. + +SHABEESH + +He very, very bad man, lily lady. He get +crocodile from devil. From devil Poolyana, +lily lady. Very, very bad. + +MIRALDA + +He may call on devils if he amuse us, +Shabeesh. + +SHABEESH + +But Poolyana, my devil. He call on my +devil, lily lady. Very, very, very bad. My +devil Poolyana. + +MIRALDA + +Call on him yourself, Shabeesh. Amuse +us. + +SHABEESH + +Shall one devil serve two masters? + +MIRALDA + +Why not? + +SHABEESH [beginning to wave priestly conjurer's +hands] + +Very bad man go away. Go away, bad +man: go away, bad man. Poolyana not want +bad man: Poolyana only work for good man. +He mighty fine devil. Poolyana, Poolyana. +Big, black, fine, furry devil. Poolyana, +Poolyana, Poolyana. O fine, fat devil with big +angry tail. Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. +Send me up fine young pig for the Shereef. +Poolyana, Poolyana. Lil yellow pig with +curly tail. [Small pig appears.] O +Poolyana, great Poolyana. Fine black fur and +grey fur underneath. Fine ferocious devil +you my devil, Poolyana. O, Poolyana, +Poolyana, Poolyana. Send me a big beast what +chew bad man's crocodile. Big beast with +big teeth, eat him like a worm. + +[He has spread large silk handkerchief +on floor and is edging back from it in +alarm.] + +Long nails in him toes, big like lion, +Poolyana. Send great smelly big beast--eat +up bad man's crocodile. + +[At first stir of handkerchief SHABEESH +leaps in alarm.] + +He come, he come. I see his teeth and +horns. + +[Enter small live rabbit from trapdoor +under handkerchief.] + +O, Poolyana, you big devil have your liddle +joke. You laugh at poor conjuring man. +You send him lil rabbit to eat big crocodile. +Bad Poolyana. Bad Poolyana. + +[Whacks ground with stick.] + +You plenty bad devil, Poolyana. + +[Whacking it again. Handkerchief has +been thrown on ground again. +Handkerchief stirs slightly.] + +No, no, Poolyana. You not bad devil. +You not bad devil. You plenty good devil, +Poolyana. No, no, no! Poor conjuring man +quite happy on muddy earth. No, Poolyana, +no! O, no, no, devil. O, no, no! Hell plenty +nice place for devil. Master! He not my +devil! He other man's devil! + +JOHN + +What's this noise? What's it about? +What's the matter? + +SHABEESH [in utmost terror] + +He coming, master! Coming! + +ZABNOOL + +Poolyana, Poolyana, Poolyana. Stay +down, stay down, Poolyana. Stay down in +nice warm hell, Poolyana. The Shereef want +no devil to-day. + +[ZABNOOL before speaking returns to +centre and pats air over ground where +handkerchief lies. + +Then SHABEESH and ZABNOOL come +together side by side and bow and smile +together toward the SHEREEF. Gold is +thrown to them, which ZABNOOL gathers +and hands to SHABEESH, who gives a share +back to ZABNOOL.] + +A NOTABLE + +The Shereef is silent. + +[Enter three women R. in single file, +dancing, and carrying baskets full of pink +rose-leaves. They dance across, throwing +down rose-leaves, leaving a path of them +behind them. Exeunt L.] + +A NOTABLE + +Still he is silent. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not speak? + +JOHN + +I do not wish to speak. + +MIRALDA + +Why? + +[Enter OMAR with his zither.] + + OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +Birds sing thy praises night and day; + The nightingale in every wood, +Blackbirds in fields profound with may; +Birds sing of thee by every way. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +My heart is ringing with thee still +Though far away, O fairy fields, +My soul flies low by every hill +And misses not one daffodil. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +O mother of my roving dreams +Blue is the night above thy spires +And blue by myriads of streams +Paradise through thy gateway gleams. + +MIRALDA + +Why do you not wish to speak? + +JOHN + +You desire me to speak? + +MIRALDA + +No. They all wonder why you do not +speak; that is all. + +JOHN + +I will speak. They shall hear me. + +MIRALDA + +O, there is no need to. + +JOHN + +There is a need. [He rises.] People of +Shaldomir, behold I know your plottings. +I know the murmurings that you murmur +against me. When I sleep in my inner +chamber my ear is in the market, while I sit at +meat I hear men whisper far hence and know +their innermost thoughts. Hope not to +overcome me by your plans nor by any manner of +craftiness. My gods are gods of brass; none +have escaped them. They cannot be +overthrown. Of all men they favour my people. +Their hands reach out to the uttermost ends +of the earth. Take heed, for my gods are +terrible. I am the Shereef; if any dare +withstand me I will call on my gods and they shall +crush him utterly. They shall grind him into +the earth and trample him under, as though +he had not been. The uttermost parts have +feared the gods of the English. They reach +out, they destroy, there is no escape from +them. Be warned; for I do not permit any +to stand against me. The laws that I have +given you, you shall keep; there shall be no +other laws. Whoso murmurs shall know my +wrath and the wrath of my gods. Take heed, +I speak not twice. I spoke once to Hussein. +Hussein heard not; and Hussein is dead, his +ears are closed for ever. Hear, O people. + +HAFIZ + +O Shereef, we murmur not against you. + +JOHN + +I know thoughts and hear whispers. I +need not instruction, Hafiz. + + HAFIZ + +You exalt yourself over us as none did +aforetime. + +JOHN + +Yes. And I will exalt myself. I have been +Shereef hitherto, but now I will be king. Al +Shaldomir is less than I desire. I have ruled +too long over a little country. I will be the +equal of Persia. I will be king; I proclaim it. +The pass is mine; the mountains shall be +mine also. And he that rules the mountains +has mastery over all the plains beyond. If +the men of the plains will not own it let them +make ready; for my wrath will fall on them +in the hour when they think me afar, on a +night when they think I dream. I proclaim +myself king over . . . + +[HAFIZ pulls out his flute and plays the +weird, strange tune. JOHN looks at him in +horrified anger.] + +JOHN + +The penalty is death! Death is the +punishment for what you do, Hafiz. You have +dared while I spoke. Hafiz, your contempt is +death. Go to Hussein. I, the king . . . +say it. + +[DAOUD has entered R., bearing two +oars. DAOUD walks across, not looking +at JOHN. Exit by small door in L. near +back. + +JOHN gives one look at the banqueters, +then he follows DAOUD. Exit. + +All look astonished. Some rise and +peer. HAFIZ draws his knife.] + +OMAR [singing] + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise, + +CRIES [off] + +Kill the unbeliever. Kill the dog. Kill the +Christian. + +[Enter the SHEIK OF THE BISHAREENS, +followed by all his men.] + +SHEIK + +We are the Bishareens, master. + +[MIRALDA standing up, right arm +akimbo, left arm pointing perfectly straight out +towards the small door, hand extended.] + +MIRALDA + +He is there. + +[The BISHAREENS run off through the +little door.] + +A NOTABLE + +Not to interfere with old ways is wisest. + +ANOTHER + +Indeed, it would have been well for him. + +[The BISHAREENS begin to return +looking all about them like disappointed +hounds.] + +A BISHAREEN + +He is not there, master. + +HAFIZ + +Not there? Not there? Why, there is no +door beyond. He must needs be there, and +his chief spy with him. + +SHEIK [off] + +He is not here. + +MIRALDA [turning round and clawing the wall] + +O, I was weary of him. I was weary of him. + +HAFIZ + +Be comforted, pearl of the morning; he is +gone. + +MIRALDA + +When I am weary of a man he must die. + +[He embraces her knees.] + +ZAGBOOLA [who has come on with a little crowd +that followed the BISHAREENS. She is +blind.] + +Lead me to Hafiz. I am the mother of +Hafiz. Lead me to Hafiz. [They lead her +near.] Hafiz! Hafiz! + +[She finds his shoulder and tries to drag +him away.] + +HAFIZ + +Go! Go! I have found the sole pearl of +the innermost deeps of the sea. + +[He is kneeling and kissing MIRALDA's +hand. ZAGBOOLA wails.] + +Curtain + +ACT IV + +SCENE 1 + +Three years elapse. + +Scene: The street outside the Acacias. + +Time: Evening. + +[Ali leans on a pillar-box watching. +John shuffles on L. He is miserably +dressed, an Englishman down on his luck. +A nightingale sings far off.] + +JOHN + +A nightingale here. Well, I never. + +Al Shaldomir, Al Shaldomir, +The nightingales that guard thy ways +Cease not to give thee, after God +And after Paradise, all praise. . . + +The infernal place! I wish I had never +seen it! Wonder what set me thinking of +that? + +[The nightingale sings another bar. +JOHN turns to his left and walks down the +little path that leads to the door of the +Acacias.] + +I mustn't come here. Mustn't come to a +fine house like this. Mustn't. Mustn't. + +[He draws near it reluctantly. He puts +his hand to the bell and withdraws it. +Then he rings and snatches his hand away. +He prepares to run away. Finally he rings +it repeatedly, feverishly, violently. + +Enter LIZA, opening the door.] + +LIZA + +Ullo, 'Oo's this! + +JOHN + +I oughtn't to have rung, miss, I know. I +oughtn't to have rung your bell; but I've +seen better days, and wondered if--I +wondered . . . + +LIZA + +I oughtn't to 'ave opened the door, that's +wot I oughtn't. Now I look at you, I +oughtn't to 'ave opened it. Wot does you +want? + +JOHN + +O, don't turn me away now, miss. I must +come here. I must. + +LIZA + +Must? Why? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Wot do you want? + +JOHN + +Who lives here? + +LIZA + +Mr. and Mrs. Cater; firm of Briggs, Cater, +and Johnstone. What do you want? + +JOHN + +Could I see Mr. Cater? + +LIZA + +He's out. Dining at the Mansion House. + + JOHN + +Oh. + +LIZA + +He is. + +JOHN + +Could I see Mrs. Cater? + +LIZA + +See Mrs. Cater? No, of course you +couldn't. + +[She prepares to shut the door.] + +JOHN + +Miss! Miss! Don't go, miss. Don't shut +me out. If you knew what I'd suffered, if +you knew what I'd suffered. Don't! + +LIZA [coming forward again] + +Suffered? Why? Ain't you got enough to +eat? + +JOHN + +No, I've had nothing all day. + +LIZA + +'Aven't you really now? + +JOHN + +No. And I get little enough at any time. + +LIZA [kindly] + +You ought to work. + +JOHN + +I . . . I can't. I can't bring myself . . . +I've seen better times. + +LIZA + +Still, you could work. + +JOHN + +I--I can't grub for halfpennies when I've +--when I've . . . + +LIZA + +When you've what? + +JOHN + +Lost millions. + +LIZA + +Millions? + +JOHN + +I've lost everything. + +LIZA + +'Ow did you lose it? + +JOHN + +Through being blind. But never mind, +never mind. It's all gone now, and I'm +hungry. + +LIZA + +'Ow long 'ave you been down on your luck? + +JOHN + +It's three years now. + +LIZA + +Couldn't get a regular job, like? + +JOHN + +Well, I suppose I might have. I suppose +it's my fault, miss. But the heart was out of +me. + +LIZA + +Dear me, now. + +JOHN + +Miss. + +LIZA + +Yes? + +JOHN + +You've a kind face . . . + +LIZA + +'Ave I? + +JOHN + +Yes. Would you do me a kind turn? + +LIZA + +Well, I dunno. I might, as yer so down +on yer luck--I don't like to see a man like +you are, I must say. + +JOHN + +Would you let me come into the big house +and speak to the missus a moment? + +LIZA + +She'd row me awful if I did. This house is +very respectable. + +JOHN + +I feel, if you would, I feel, I feel my luck +might change. + +LIZA + +But I don't know what she'd say if I did. + +JOHN + +Miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know wot she'd say. + +JOHN + +I must come in, miss, I must. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll say. + +JOHN + +I must. I can't help myself. + +LIZA + +I don't know what she'll . . . + +[JOHN is in, door shuts.] + +[ALI throws his head up and laughs, +but quite silently.] + +Curtain + +SCENE 2 + +The drawing-room at the Acacias. + +A moment later. + +The scene is the same as in Act I, except +that the sofa which was red is now green, +and the photograph of Aunt Martha is +replaced by that of a frowning old colonel. +The ages of the four children in the +photographs are the same, but their sexes have +changed. + +[MARY reading. Enter LIZA.] + +LIZA + +There's a gentleman to see you, mum, +which is, properly speaking, not a gentleman +at all, but 'e would come in, mum. + +MARY + +Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza, +whatever do you mean? + +LIZA + +'E would come in, mum. + +MARY + +But what does he want? + +LIZA [over shoulder] + +What does you want? + +JOHN [entering] + +I am a beggar. + +MARY + +O, really? You've no right to be coming +into houses like this, you know. + +JOHN + +I know that, madam, I know that. Yet +somehow I couldn't help myself. I've been +begging for nearly three years now, and I've +never done this before, yet somehow to-night +I felt impelled to come to this house. I beg +your pardon, humbly. Hunger drove me to +it. + +MARY + +Hunger? + + +JOHN + +I'm very hungry, madam. + +MARY + +Unfortunately Mr. Cater has not yet +returned, or perhaps he might . . . + +JOHN + +If you could give me a little to eat +yourself, madam, a bit of stale bread, a crust, +something that Mr. Cater would not want. + +MARY + +It's very unusual, coming into a house like +this and at such an hour--it's past eleven +o'clock--and Mr. Cater not yet returned. +Are you really hungry? + +JOHN + +I'm very, very hungry. + +MARY + +Well, it's very unusual; but perhaps I +might get you a little something. + +[She picks up an empty plate from the +supper table.] + +JOHN + +Madam, I do not know how to thank you. + +MARY + +O, don't mention it. + +JOHN + +I have not met such kindness for three +years. I . . . I'm starving. I've known +better times. + +MARY [kindly] + +I'll get you something. You've known +better times, you say? + +JOHN + +I had been intended for work in the City. +And then, then I travelled, and--and I got +very much taken with foreign countries, and +I thought--but it all went to pieces. I lost +everything. Here I am, starving. + +MARY [as one might reply to the Mayoress who +had lost her gloves] + +O, I'm so sorry. + +[JOHN sighs deeply.] + +MARY + +I'll get a nice bit of something to eat. + +JOHN + +A thousand thanks to you, madam. + +[Exit MARY with the plate.] + +LIZA [who has been standing near the door all the +time] + +Well, she's going to get you something. + +JOHN + +Heaven reward her. + +LIZA + +Hungry as all that? + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. + +LIZA + +Cheer up! + +JOHN + +That's all very well to say, living in a fine +house, as you are, dry and warm and well-fed. +But what have I to cheer up about? + +LIZA + +Isn't there anything you could pop? + +JOHN + +What? + +LIZA + +Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop? +I've tided over times I wanted a bit of cash +that way sometimes. + +JOHN + +What could I pawn? + +LIZA + +Well, well you've a watch-chain. + +JOHN + +A bit of old leather. + +LIZA + +But what about the watch? + +JOHN + +I've no watch. + +LIZA + +O, funny having a watch-chain then. + +JOHN + +O, that's only for this; it's a bit of crystal. + +LIZA + +Funny bit of a thing. What's it for? + +JOHN + +I don't know. + +LIZA + +Was it give to you? + +JOHN + +I don't know. I don't know how I got it. + +LIZA + +Don't know how you got it? + +JOHN + +No, I can't remember at all. But I've a +feeling about it, I can't explain what I feel; +but I don't part with it. + +LIZA + +Don't you? You might get something on +it, likely and have a square meal. + +JOHN + +I won't part with it. + +LIZA + +Why? + +JOHN + +I feel I won't. I never have. + +LIZA + +Feel you won't? + +JOHN + +Yes, I have that feeling very strongly. +I've kept it always. Everything else is gone. + +LIZA + +Had it long? + +JOHN + +Yes, yes. About ten years. I found I had +it one morning in a train. It's odd that I +can't remember. + +LIZA + +But wot d'yer keep it for? + +JOHN + +Just for luck. + +[LIZA breaks into laughter.] + +LIZA + +Well, you are funny. + +JOHN + +I'm on my beam ends. I don't know if that is funny. + +LIZA + +You're as down in your luck as ever you +can be, and you go keeping a thing like that +for luck. Why, you couldn't be funnier. + +JOHN + +Well, what would you do? + +LIZA + +Why, I 'ad a mascot once, all real gold; and +I had rotten luck. Rotten luck I had. +Rotten. + +JOHN + +And what did you do? + +LIZA + +Took it back to the shop. + +JOHN + +Yes? + +LIZA + +They was quite obliging about it. Gave +me a wooden one instead, what was +guaranteed. Luck changed very soon altogether. + +JOHN + +Could luck like mine change? + +LIZA + +Course it could. + +JOHN + +Look at me. + +LIZA + +You'll be all right one of these days. Give +me that mascot. + +JOHN + +I--I hardly like to. One has an awfully +strong feeling with it. + +LIZA + +Give it to me. It's no good. + +JOHN + +I--I don't like to. + +LIZA + +You just give it to me. I tell you it's doing +you no good. I know all about them mascots. +Give it me. + +JOHN + +Well, I'll give it you. You're the +first woman that's been kind to me since +. . . I'm on my beam ends. + +[Face in hands--tears.] + +LIZA + +There, there. I'm going to smash it, I am. +These mascots! One's better without 'em. +Your luck'll turn, never fear. And you've a +nice supper coming. + +[She puts it in a corner of the +mantelpiece and hammers it. It smashes. + +The photographs of the four children +change slightly. The Colonel gives place +to Aunt Martha. The green sofa turns red. +JOHN's clothes become neat and tidy. The +hammer in LIZA's hand turns to a feather +duster. Nothing else changes.] + +A VOICE [off, in agony] + +Allah! Allah ! Allah! + +LIZA + +Some foreign gentleman must have hurt +himself. + +JOHN + +H'm. Sounds like it . . . Liza. + +[LIZA, dusting the photographs on the +wall, just behind the corner of the +mantelpiece.] + +LIZA + +Funny. Thought I--thought I 'ad a +hammer in my hand. + +JOHN + +Really, Liza, I often think you have. You +really should be more careful. Only--only +yesterday you broke the glass of Miss Jane's +photograph. + +LIZA + +Thought it was a hammer. + +JOHN + +Really, I think it sometimes is. It's a +mistake you make too often, Liza. You--you +must be more careful. + +LIZA + +Very well, sir. Funny my thinking I 'ad +an 'ammer in my 'and, though. + +[She goes to tidy the little supper table. +Enter MARY with food on a plate.] + +MARY + +I've brought you your supper, John. + +JOHN + +Thanks, Mary. I--I think I must have +taken a nap. + +MARY + +Did you, dear? Thanks, Liza. Run along +to bed now, Liza. Good gracious, it's +half-past eleven. + +[MARY makes final arrangements of +supper table.] + +LIZA + +Thank you, mum. + +[Exit ] + +JOHN + +Mary. + +MARY + +Yes, John. + +JOHN + +I--I thought I'd caught that train. + +Curtain + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, IF *** + +This file should be named ifdun12.txt or ifdun12.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, ifdun13.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, ifdun12a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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