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author: Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> 2025-10-15 04:41:10 -0700
committer: Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> 2025-10-15 04:41:10 -0700
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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type"
+content="text/html; charset=UTF-8">
+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of
+More Goops and How Not to Be Them,
+by Gelett Burgess.
+</title>
+<style type="text/css">
+<!--
+P { text-indent: 0em; margin-top: 0em; margin-bottom: 0em; padding-top: 0em; padding-bottom: 0em; text-align: justify; }
+H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+HR { width: 50%; }
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+TABLE { border: none; }
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+p[class="2"] { text-indent: 2em; }
+p[class="4"] { text-indent: 3em; }
+.toc { margin-left: 15%; font-size: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0em; text-align: left;}
+.advert { font-size: 8pt; }
+.figure { padding: 1em; margin: 0em; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em; width: 40%; }
+.bordered { margin: 1em; border: solid; border-width: thin; border-color: black; }
+// -->
+</style>
+</head>
+<body>
+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13004 ***</div>
+
+<div style="height: 8em;"><br></div>
+<h1>MORE GOOPS<br>and<br>How Not to Be Them:</h1>
+<h2>A Manual of Manners for Impolite Infants</h2>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center><b>By Gelett Burgess</b></center>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center><img src="images/g-01.png" width="500" height="122" alt=""></center>
+<hr class="full">
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<table border="1" width="320" summary="Books by Gelett Burgess" align="center" cellpadding="12">
+<tr><td>
+<h3><i>Books by Gelett Burgess</i></h3>
+<p class="advert">
+VIVETTE; or the Memoirs of the Romance Association. Small, Maynard
+&amp; Co., Boston. 152 pp. 8vo. $1.25
+</p><p class="advert">
+A GAGE OF YOUTH; Poems, chiefly from the "Lark." 58 pp. Small 8vo.
+Small, Maynard &amp; Co., Boston. $1.00
+</p><p class="advert">
+THE ROMANCE OF THE COMMONPLACE; A Collection of Essays upon the
+Romantic View of Life. 152 pp. Small 4to. Elder &amp; Shepard, San
+Francisco. $1.50
+</p><p class="advert">
+THE LIVELY CITY O' LIGG; A Cycle of Modern Fairy Tales for City
+Children. With 53 illustrations (8 in color) by the Author.
+Frederick A. Stokes Co., New York. 210 pp. Small 4to. $1.50.
+Boards, $1.00
+</p><p class="advert">
+THE BURGESS NONSENSE BOOK; Being a complete Collection of the
+Humorous Masterpieces of Gelett Burgess, Esq. With 196 illustrations
+by the Author. 239 pp. Small 4to. Frederick A. Stokes Co., New York.
+Cloth, $2.00 net. Boards, $1.25
+</p><p class="advert">
+GOOPS, and How to Be Them; A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants.
+With 90 illustrations by the Author. Frederick A. Stokes Co., New
+York. 88 pp. 5th edition. Small 4to. $1.50
+</p><p class="advert">
+MORE GOOPS, and How Not to Be Them; A Manual of Manners for
+Impolite Infants. With 90 illustrations by the Author. 88 pp.
+Small 4to. Frederick A. Stokes Co., New York. $1.50
+</p>
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+<div style="height: 3em;"><br></div>
+<hr class="full">
+<div style="height: 3em;"><br></div>
+<h1>MORE GOOPS</h1><center>and</center><h2>How Not to Be Them</h2>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>
+A Manual of Manners for Impolite Infants Depicting the Characteristics<br>
+of Many Naughty and Thoughtless Children With Instructive Illustrations
+</center>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h3>By GELETT BURGESS</h3>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>NEW YORK</center>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>Copyright 1903<br>By GELETT BURGESS</center>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center><i>Published September, 1903</i></center>
+<hr>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-05.png" width="500" height="510"
+alt="Ex Libris">
+</center>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-06.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+
+<center><img src="images/g-07.png" width="500" height="315"alt="Contents"></center>
+<h2><i>CONTENTS</i></h2>
+<table summary="Table of Contents" align="center" width="80%">
+<tr><td>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_02a"><i>INTRODUCTION</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_02b"><i>WINDOW SMOOCHERS</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_02c"><i>A LOW TRICK</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_02d"><i>WHEN TO GO</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_02e"><i>"AIN'T"</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_02f"><i>NELL THE NIBBLER</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_02g"><i>JUSTICE</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_03"><i>A PUZZLE</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_04"><i>FRANKNESS</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_04a"><i>THE DUTY OF THE STRONG</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_05"><i>WALKING WITH PAPA</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_05a"><i>PIANO TORTURE</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_06"><i>AT TABLE</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_07"><i>HOW TO EAT SOUP</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_08"><i>BABY'S APOLOGY</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_09"><i>IN THE STREET</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_09a"><i>SICK FURNITURE</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_10"><i>BORROWED PLUMES</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_10a"><i>THE GOOP PICNIC</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_11"><i>BOOK-MANNERS</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_12"><i>POOR MOTHER!</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_12a"><i>CHEATING</i></a></p>
+</td><td valign="top">
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_12b"><i>GOOP! GOOP! GOOP!</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_13"><i>VISITING</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_13a"><i>PICKING AND STEALING</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_13b"><i>LOYALTY</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_14"><i>INDOLENCE</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_15"><i>THE LAW OF HOSPITALITY</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_15a"><i>THE FLOWER HOSPITAL</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_16"><i>PUPPY GOOPS</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_16a"><i>EXAGGERATION</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_17"><i>NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_17a"><i>STEALING RIDES</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_18"><i>UNTIDY GOOPS</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_18a"><i>A GOOP PARTY</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_19"><i>INQUISITIVENESS</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_19a"><i>DON'T BE GOOD</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_20"><i>WRITE RIGHT!</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_20a"><i>WET FEET</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_21"><i>DRESS QUICKLY!</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_22"><i>DANGER!</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_23"><i>THE REASON WHY</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_24"><i>IN GOOP ATTIRE</i></a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_25"><i>IMPOSSIBLE</i></a></p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center><img src="images/g-08.png" width="500" height="201" alt=""></center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<a name="2H_4_02a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<table align="center"
+ summary="" style="background-image: url(images/g-09.png); width: 500px; height: 725px;">
+<tr>
+<td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 255px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>INTRODUCTION</i></h2>
+<p style="margin-top: 30px;">
+Children, although you might expect<br>
+My manners to be quite correct<br>
+(For since I fancy I can teach,<br>
+I ought to practice what I preach),<br>
+'Tis true that I have often braved<br>
+My mother's wrath, and misbehaved!<br>
+And almost every single rule<br>
+I broke, before I went to school!<br>
+For that is how I learned the way<br>
+To teach you etiquette to-day.<br>
+So when you chance to take a look<br>
+At all the maxims in the book,<br>
+You'll see that most of them are true,<br>
+I found them out, and so will you,<br>
+For if you are as GOOP derided,<br>
+You may perhaps reform, as I did!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-10.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_02b"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-11t.png" width="500" height="121"
+alt="Window-smoochers (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>WINDOW-SMOOCHERS</i></h2>
+<table summary="" align="center"
+style="background-image: url(images/g-11b.png); width: 500px; height: 489px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="">
+<tr><td>
+<p>Little Goops are marking</p>
+<p class="2">On the window pane;</p>
+<p class="2">I forbid, in vain!</p>
+<p>Noses, when they're greasy,</p>
+<p>Leave a smooch so easy!</p>
+<p class="2">Rub it out again!</p>
+<p>I shall have to scold them,</p>
+<p>For I've often told them,</p>
+<p class="2">Kindly, to refrain!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-12.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_02c"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-13t.png" width="500" height="270" alt="A Low Trick (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>A LOW TRICK</i></h2>
+<table summary="" align="center">
+<tr><td>
+<p><br>
+The meanest trick I ever knew<br>
+Was one I know <I>you</i> never do.<br>
+I saw a Goop once try to do it,<br>
+And there was nothing funny to it.<br>
+He pulled a chair from under me<br>
+As I was sitting down; but he<br>
+Was sent to bed, and rightly, too.<br>
+It was a <i>horrid</i> thing to do!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-13b.png" width="500" height="292" alt="A Low Trick (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-14.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_02d"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-15t.png" width="500" height="179" alt="When to Go (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>WHEN TO GO</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="">
+<tr>
+<td >
+<p>When you go a-calling,</p>
+<p class="2">Never stay too late;</p>
+<p>You will wear your welcome out</p>
+<p class="2">If you hesitate!</p>
+<p>Just before they're tired of you,</p>
+<p class="2">Just before they yawn,</p>
+<p>Before they think you are a Goop,</p>
+<p class="2">And wish that you were gone,</p>
+<p>While they're laughing with you,</p>
+<p class="2">While they like you so,</p>
+<p>While they want to keep you,&mdash;</p>
+<p class="2"><i>That's</i> the time to go!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-15b.png" width="500" height="431" alt="When to Go (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-16.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_02e"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center"
+ summary="" style="background-image: url(images/g-17.png); width: 500px; height: 714px;">
+<tr>
+<td valign="top">
+<div id="aint" align="left" style="z-index: 2; 
+margin-left: 15px; margin-top: 55px; width: 100%;">
+<h2><i>"AIN'T"</i></h2>
+<p>Now "ain't" is a word</p>
+<p>That is very absurd</p>
+<p class="2"> To use for an "isn't" or "aren't."</p>
+<p>Ask Teacher about it:</p>
+<p>She'll say, "Do without it!"</p>
+<p class="2"> I wish you would see if you can't!</p>
+</div>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-18.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_02f"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table summary="" align="center"
+style="background-image: url(images/g-19t.png); width: 500px; height: 371px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table summary="" align="center" style="margin-top: 80px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>NELL THE NIBBLER</i></h2>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>She ate some chocolate drops at 1,</p>
+<p class="2"> At 2, she thought she'd take</p>
+<p>A little jelly and a bun;</p>
+<p class="2"> At 3, some frosted cake.</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+<table summary="" align="center"><tr><td>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>At 4, she nibbled at a roll;</p>
+<p class="2"> At 5, a doughnut spied,</p>
+<p>And ate it (all except the hole),</p>
+<p class="2"> And then some cookies tried.</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<table summary="" align="center"
+style="background-image: url(images/g-19b.png); width: 500px; height: 257px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table summary="" align="center" style="margin-top: 160px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>At 6, she didn't feel quite right,</p>
+<p class="2"> And didn't care for dinner.</p>
+<p>She said she had no appetite,</p>
+<p class="2"> With so much Goop-food in her!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-20.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_02g"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-21t.png" width="500" height="253" alt="Justice (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><I>JUSTICE</I></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>Whenever brother's sent to bed,</p>
+<p class="2"> Or punished, do not go</p>
+<p>And peer at him and jeer at him,</p>
+<p class="2"> And say, "I told you so!"</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-21m.png" width="500" height="140" alt="Justice (center)">
+</center>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>Nor should you try to make him laugh</p>
+<p class="2"> When he has been so bad;</p>
+<p>Let him confess his naughtiness</p>
+<p class="2"> Before you both are glad!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-21b.png" width="500" height="121" alt="Justice (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-22.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_03"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-23.png); width: 500px; height: 695px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 220px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>A PUZZLE</i></h2>
+<p>There are about a thousand things</p>
+<p class="2">I'm not allowed to do;</p>
+<p>Most everything I'm fondest of</p>
+<p class="2">I'm told is wrong&mdash;are you?</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>They say, "<i>Please don't do that, my child!</i>"</p>
+<p class="2">They say, "<i>You mustn't, dear!</i>"</p>
+<p>I hope sometime I'll learn what's right,</p>
+<p class="2"> For now it seems so queer!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-24.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_04"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary=""
+style="background-image: url(images/g-25.png); width: 500px; height: 712px;">
+<tr>
+<td valign="top">
+<table summary="" style="margin-top: 320px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>FRANKNESS</i></h2>
+<p><br>
+When you are talking, I expect<br>
+You'd better hold your head erect!<br>
+Please look me squarely in the eye<br>
+Unless you're telling me a lie.<br>
+For if you crouch and look askance,<br>
+Regarding me with sidelong glance,<br>
+I'll think it is a Goop I see<br>
+Who is <i>afraid</i> to look at me!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-26.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_04a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-27t.png); width: 500px; height: 445px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 200px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2> <i>THE DUTY OF THE STRONG</i></h2>
+<center>
+You who are the oldest,<br>
+You who are the tallest,<br>
+Don't you think you ought to help<br>
+The youngest and the smallest?
+</center>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>
+You who are the strongest,<br>
+You who are the quickest,<br>
+Don't you think you ought to help<br>
+The weakest and the sickest?
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+Never mind the trouble,<br>
+Help them all you can;<br>
+Be a little woman!<br>
+Be a little man!
+</center>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-27b.png" width="500" height="152" alt="The Duty of the Strong (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-28.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_05"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<h2><i>WALKING WITH PAPA</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-29.png); width: 500px; height: 718px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="left" summary="" style="margin-top: 190px; margin-left: 20px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>"Won't you walk a little farther?"</p>
+<p class="2">Said a Goop to his Papa;</p>
+<p>"It is really quite delightful,</p>
+<p class="2">And we haven't travelled far;</p>
+<p>Wont you walk a little farther,</p>
+<p class="2">There's a house I'd like to see!</p>
+<p>Won't you walk a little farther,</p>
+<p class="2">Till we reach that cherry-tree?"</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>"Won't you carry me? I'm tired!"</p>
+<p class="2">Whined a Goop to his Papa;</p>
+<p>"And my feet are sore and weary,</p>
+<p class="2">And we've gone so <i>very</i> far!</p>
+<p>Won't you carry me? I'm tired!</p>
+<p class="2">And I <i>can't</i> walk back alone!</p>
+<p>Won't you carry me? I'm tired!"</p>
+<p class="2">And the Goop began to groan.</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-30.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_05a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-31.png); width: 500px; height: 717px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 280px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>PIANO TORTURE</i></h2>
+<p>Pianos are considered toys</p>
+<p>By Goops, and naughty girls and boys;</p>
+<p class="2">They pound upon the keys,</p>
+<p>They lift the cover up, on top,</p>
+<p>To see the little jiggers hop,</p>
+<p class="2">And both the pedals squeeze!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>But instruments so rich and fine</p>
+<p>(Especially if they're not mine)</p>
+<p class="2">I ought to treat with care;</p>
+<p>So when my elder sister plays</p>
+<p>She'll find it is in tune always,</p>
+<p class="2"> Nor injured anywhere!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-32.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_06"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-33.png); width: 500px; height: 720px;">
+<tr><td align="center" valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 110px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>AT TABLE</i></h2>
+<p>
+Why is it Goops must always wish<br>
+To touch <i>each</i> apple on the dish?<br>
+Why do they never neatly fold<br>
+Their napkins until they are told?<br>
+Why do they play with food, and bite<br>
+Such awful mouthfuls? Is it right?<br>
+Why do they tilt back in their chairs?<br>
+<i>Because they're Goops!</i> So no one cares!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-34.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_07"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-35.png); width: 500px; height: 720px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table summary="" style="margin-left: 15px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>HOW TO EAT SOUP</i></h2>
+<p>&nbsp;</p><p>
+Whenever you are eating soup<br>
+Remember not to be a Goop!<br>
+And if you think to say this rhyme,<br>
+Perhaps 'twill help you every time:
+</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>
+<i>Like little boats that put to sea,<br>
+I push my spoon AWAY from me;<br>
+I do not tilt my dish, nor scrape<br>
+The last few drops, like hungry ape!</i>
+</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>
+<i>Like little boats, that, almost filled,<br>
+Come back without their cargoes spilled,<br>
+My spoon sails gently to my lips,<br>
+Unloading from the SIDE, like ships.</i>
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-36.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_08"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<h2><i>BABY'S APOLOGY</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-37.png); width: 500px; height: 723px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="left" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>Dear little seed, queer little seed,</p>
+<p class="2"> Tucked into bed in the garden,</p>
+<p>Why don't you grow? Why, don't you know</p>
+<p class="2">Baby is asking your pardon?</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Out, little seed! Sprout, little seed!</p>
+<p class="2"> Baby did wrong without knowing!</p>
+<p>Hoping for you, groping for you,</p>
+<p class="2"> To see if you <i>really</i> were growing.</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Break, little seed! Wake, little seed!</p>
+<p class="2"> Baby will watch and not harm you.</p>
+<p>Everything's bright, everything's right,</p>
+<p class="2">Nothing is here to alarm you.</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Dress, little seed! Yes, little seed,</p>
+<p class="2">Fold your green leaflets around you;</p>
+<p><i>There</i>, little seed! Fair little seed,</p>
+<p class="2">Baby's <i>so</i> glad he has found you!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-38.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_09"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-39.png); width: 500px; height: 720px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 75px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>IN THE STREET</i></h2>
+<p>Peelings on the sidewalk,</p>
+<p class="2">Apple-cores and all,</p>
+<p>Kick them in the gutter;</p>
+<p class="2">Save some one a fall!</p>
+<p>Barrel hoops, glass, and cans,</p>
+<p class="2">And wires in the street,</p>
+<p>Kick them in the gutter;</p>
+<p class="2">You'll save some horse's feet!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-40.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_09a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-41t.png" width="500" height="273" alt="Sick Furniture (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>SICK FURNITURE</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>
+Sitting on the table,<br>
+Standing on the chairs,<br>
+That's the way the legs are broken and the cushion tears!<br>
+How'd you like to pay the bill for varnish and repairs?<br>
+&nbsp;
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-41b.png" width="500" height="290" alt="Sick Furniture (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-42.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_10"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<h2><i>BORROWED PLUMES</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>Don't try on the wraps,</p>
+<p>The bonnets and caps</p>
+<p class="2">Of company coming to call!</p>
+<p>Admire, if you please,</p>
+<p>But garments like these</p>
+<p class="2">Should always feel safe in the hall!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-43.png" width="500" height="530" alt="Borrowed Plumes">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-44.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_10a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-45t.png" width="500" height="208" alt="The Goop Picnic (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>THE GOOP PICNIC</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>They came to the best sort of place for a rest,</p>
+<p class="2">On the grass, with the trees overhead,</p>
+<p>They sat down in a bunch and they opened their lunch,</p>
+<p class="2">And they had a be-autiful spread!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>And when they were done, and they'd had all their fun,</p>
+<p class="2">They proved they were Goops, or were blind;</p>
+<p>For they picked up their wraps and they left all their scraps</p>
+<p class="2">For the <i>next</i> picnic party to find!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-45b.png" width="500" height="319" alt="The Goop Picnic (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-46.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_11"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-47.png); width: 500px; height: 717px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 180px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>BOOK-MANNERS</i></h2>
+<p>
+If you scribble on your books,<br>
+How disgustable it looks!<br>
+Here a word, and there a scrawl,<br>
+Silly pictures over all!<br>
+Take a paper, or a slate,<br>
+If you want to decorate!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-48.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_12"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-49.png); width: 500px; height: 724px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table summary="" >
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<h2><i>POOR MOTHER!</i></h2>
+<p>Oh! Isn't it shocking!</p>
+<p>Just look at your stocking!</p>
+<p class="2">Just look at your brand new boots!</p>
+<p>Your waist is all torn</p>
+<p>And your trousers are worn&mdash;</p>
+<p class="2">Just <i>look</i> at the holes in your suits!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Your father is working</p>
+<p>All day, without shirking,</p>
+<p class="2">To pay for the clothes that you wear;</p>
+<p>Your mother is mending</p>
+<p>All day, and attending</p>
+<p class="2">To you, with the kindest of care.</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>And so, while you're playing,</p>
+<p>Think of father, who's paying,</p>
+<p class="2">And mother, who's working so hard;</p>
+<p>While you kneel on your knees,</p>
+<p>Or climb up the trees,</p>
+<p class="2">Or make your mud pies in the yard!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-50.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_12a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-51.png); width: 500px; height: 725px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 225px; margin-left: 20px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>CHEATING</i></h2>
+<p>I thought I saw a little Goop</p>
+<p class="2">Who didn't pay his fare;</p>
+<p>I looked again; the passengers</p>
+<p class="2">Were gazing at him, there.</p>
+<p>"They think that he's a thief!" I said;</p>
+<p class="2">"I wonder does he care?"</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-52.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_12b"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-53.png); width: 500px; height: 720px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 200px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>GOOP! GOOP! GOOP!</i></h2>
+<p>Goop! Goop! Goop!</p>
+<p class="2">I wish you'd wash your face!</p>
+<p>Goop! Goop! Goop!</p>
+<p class="2">Your hands are a disgrace!</p>
+<p>Goop! Goop! Goop!</p>
+<p class="2">Put things back in their place!</p>
+<p>I wish you were polite,</p>
+<p class="2">Instead of a</p>
+<p>Goop! Goop! Goop!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-54.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_13"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-55.png); width: 500px; height: 698px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" width="240" style="margin-top: 190px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>VISITING</i></h2>
+<p>When a Goop goes out to visit,</p>
+<p>'T isn't very pleasant, is it,</p>
+<p class="2"> To hear him ask his friends for things to eat?</p>
+<p>And to hear the little sinner</p>
+<p>Say he wants to stay to dinner</p>
+<p class="2"> Is a piece of impoliteness hard to beat!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>"<i>Mother said that I could stay</i></p>
+<p><i>If you asked me!</i>" is the way</p>
+<p class="2"> That a Goop will make them ask him to remain.</p>
+<p>It is better to be slighted</p>
+<p>Than to stay when not invited,</p>
+<p class="2"> For they <i>never</i> ask a Goop to come again!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-56.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_13a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-57t.png); width: 500px; height: 447px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 125px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>PICKING and STEALING</i></h2>
+<p>When you are fetching bread, I trust</p>
+<p>You never nibble at the crust</p>
+<p style="margin-top: 160px;">&nbsp;</p>
+<p>When in the kitchen, do you linger</p>
+<p>And pinch the cookies with your finger?</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-57b.png); width: 500px; height: 252px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 190px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>Or do you peck the frosted cake?</p>
+<p>Don't do it, please, for Mother's sake!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-58.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_13b"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-59t.png); width: 500px; height: 340px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table summary="" align="right">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>LOYALTY</i></h2>
+<p>Mother's found your mischief out!</p>
+<p class="2">What are you going to do?</p>
+<p>Cry and sulk, or kick and shout?</p>
+<p>Tell your mother all about</p>
+<p class="2">Brother's mischief, too?</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>Or,</p>
+<p>Take your punishment, and say,</p>
+<p class="2">"I'll be better, now!"</p>
+<p>Never mind the horrid way</p>
+<p>Brother treated you, at play;</p>
+<p class="2">Don't tell it, anyhow!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-59b.png); width: 500px; height: 337px;">
+<tr><td valign="top" align="left">
+<table align="left" summary="" style="margin-top: 50px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>It is the Goops, who have no shame,</p>
+<p>Who say, "<i>'Twas some one else to blame!</i>"</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-60.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_14"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-61.png); width: 500px; height: 698px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 250px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>INDOLENCE</i></h2>
+<p style="margin-top: 65px;">
+There was a Goop who lay in bed<br>
+Till half-past eight, the sleepy-head!<br>
+He couldn't find his stockings, for<br>
+He'd thrown them somewhere on the floor!<br>
+He couldn't find his reading-book;<br>
+He had forgotten where to look!<br>
+His breakfast grew so very cold,<br>
+This lazy Goop began to scold;<br>
+And then he blamed his mother, kind!<br>
+"<i>You made me late to school</i>!" he whined.
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-62.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_15"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<h2><i>THE LAW OF HOSPITALITY</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-63.png); width: 500px; height: 714px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 185px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>There is a very simple rule</p>
+<p class="2">That every one should know;</p>
+<p>You may not hear of it in school,</p>
+<p class="2">But everywhere you go,</p>
+<p>In every land where people dwell,</p>
+<p class="2">And men are good and true,</p>
+<p>You'll find they understand it well,</p>
+<p class="2">And so I'll tell it you:</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><i>To every one who gives me food,</i></p>
+<p class="2"><i>Or shares his home with me,</i></p>
+<p><i>I owe a debt of gratitude,</i></p>
+<p class="2"><i>And I must loyal be.</i></p>
+<p><i>I may not laugh at him, or say</i></p>
+<p class="2"><i>Of him a word unkind;</i></p>
+<p><i>His friendliness I must repay,</i></p>
+<p class="2"><i>And to his faults be blind!</i></p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-64.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_15a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-65.png); width: 500px; height: 725px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<h2><i>THE FLOWER HOSPITAL</i></h2>
+<table align="right" summary="" style="margin-top: 165px; margin-right: 20px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>
+I dreamed I found a sunlit room<br>
+Filled with a delicate perfume,<br>
+Where, moaning their sweet lives away,<br>
+A thousand lovely flowers lay.<br>
+They drooped, so pale, and wan, and weak,<br>
+With hardly strength enough to speak,<br>
+With stems so crushed and leaves so torn<br>
+It was too dreadful to be borne!<br>
+And one white lily raised her head<br>
+From off her snowy flower bed.<br>
+And sighed, "<i>Please tell the children, oh!<br>
+They should not treat the flowers so!<br>
+They plucked us when we were so gay,<br>
+And then they threw us all away<br>
+To wither in the sun all day!<br>
+We all must fade, but we'll forgive<br>
+If they'll let other flowers live</i>!"
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-66.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_16"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-67.png); width: 500px; height: 725px;">
+<tr><td align="center" valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 150px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>PUPPY GOOPS</i></h2>
+<p>Candy in the cushions</p>
+<p class="2">Of the easy-chair;</p>
+<p>Raisins in the sofa&mdash;</p>
+<p class="2">How did they get there?</p>
+<p>The little Goop who's greedy</p>
+<p class="2">Does it every day,</p>
+<p>Like a little puppy,</p>
+<p class="2">Hiding bones away!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-68.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_16a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-69t.png" width="500" height="118" alt="Exaggeration (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>EXAGGERATION</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>Don't try to tell a story</p>
+<p class="2">To beat the one you've heard;</p>
+<p>For if you try, you're apt to lie,</p>
+<p class="2">And <i>that</i> would be absurd!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Don't try to be more funny</p>
+<p class="2">Than any one in school;</p>
+<p>For if you're not, they'll laugh a lot,</p>
+<p class="2">And think you are a fool!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-69b.png" width="500" height="327" alt="Exaggeration (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-70.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_17"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-71.png); width: 500px; height: 724px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="left" summary="" style="margin-top: 130px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!</i></h2>
+<p>Do you slam the door?</p>
+<p class="2">Do you drag your feet?</p>
+<p>Making noise enough for four</p>
+<p>Hundred thousand Goops, or more,</p>
+<p class="2">Tearing up the street?</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Clattering down the stairs,</p>
+<p class="2">Storming through the hall,</p>
+<p>Pounding floors, upsetting chairs,</p>
+<p>Do you think your father cares</p>
+<p class="2">For your noise, at all?</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-72.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_17a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-73.png); width: 500px; height: 693px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 225px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>STEALING RIDES</i></h2>
+<p>I thought I saw a little Goop</p>
+<p class="2">Who hung behind a cart;</p>
+<p>I looked again. He'd fallen off!</p>
+<p class="2">It gave me <i>such</i> a start!</p>
+<p>"If he were killed, some day," I said,</p>
+<p class="2">"'Twould break his mother's heart!"</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-74.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_18"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-75.png); width: 500px; height: 725px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 25px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>UNTIDY GOOPS</i></h2>
+<p>I think you are a Goop, because</p>
+<p>You never shut your bureau drawers,</p>
+<p class="2">You do not close the door!</p>
+<p>You leave your water in the bowl,</p>
+<p>You put your peelings in the coal!</p>
+<p class="2">I've told you <i>that</i> before!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-76.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_18a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-77t.png" width="500" height="139" alt="A Goop Party (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>A GOOP PARTY</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>
+"Please come to my party!" said Jenny to Prue;<br>
+"I'm going to have Willy, and Nelly, and you;<br>
+I'm going to have candy and cake and ice-cream,<br>
+We'll play <i>Hunt-the-Slipper</i>, we'll laugh and we'll scream.<br>
+We'll dress up in caps, we'll have stories and tricks,<br>
+And you won't have to go till a quarter past six!"<br>
+But alas! When she mentioned her party, at tea,<br>
+Her mother said, "No! It can't possibly be!"<br>
+So Jane had to go and explain to her friends,<br>
+And that is how many a Goop party ends!<br>
+Just speak to your mother <i>before</i> you invite,<br>
+And then it's more likely to happen all right!<br>
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-77b.png" width="500" height="338" alt="A Goop Party (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-78.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_19"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-79.png); width: 500px; height: 697px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 175px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>INQUISITIVENESS</i></h2>
+<p>I gave a letter to a Goop</p>
+<p class="2">To take to Mrs. Bird;</p>
+<p>And what d'you think he went and did?</p>
+<p class="2">He read it, every word!</p>
+<p>Now, isn't that the rudest thing</p>
+<p class="2">That you have ever heard?</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Why, he would peep through keyholes,</p>
+<p class="2">And listen at the door!</p>
+<p>And open parcels, just to see</p>
+<p class="2">What came from every store!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>Now, have you ever <i>ever</i> heard</p>
+<p class="2">Of such a Goop before?</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-80.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_19a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-81.png); width: 500px; height: 722px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 185px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>DON'T BE GOOD</i></h2>
+<p>
+Just because you want to go<br>
+To the circus, or the show;<br>
+But, when all your fun is o'er,<br>
+Be as good as you were before!
+</p>
+<h2><i>DON'T BE BAD</i></h2>
+<p>
+Just as long as you dare to be,<br>
+Because your mother doesn't see.<br>
+Do not wait for her to scold,<br>
+But be just as good as gold!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-82.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_20"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<h2><i>WRITE RIGHT!</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-83.png); width: 500px; height: 702px;">
+<tr><td valign="top" align="center">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 180px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>
+If you were writing with your nose,<br>
+You'd <i>have</i> to curl up, I suppose,<br>
+And lay your head upon your hand;<br>
+But now, I cannot understand,<br>
+For you are writing with your pen!<br>
+So sit erect, and smile again!<br>
+You need not scowl because you write,<br>
+Nor hold your fingers <i>quite</i> so tight!<br>
+And if you gnaw the holder so,<br>
+They'll take you for a Goop, you know!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-84.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_20a"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<h2><i>WET FEET</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>Down the street together,</p>
+<p>In the rainy weather,</p>
+<p class="2">Went a pair of little boys along;</p>
+<p>One of them went straying</p>
+<p>In the gutters playing,</p>
+<p class="2">Doing all his mother said was wrong;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>One of them went dashing</p>
+<p>Into puddles splashing,</p>
+<p class="2">Under dripping eaves that soaked him through;</p>
+<p>One of them avoided</p>
+<p>All the other boy did,</p>
+<p class="2">Dodging all the slimy, slushy goo.</p>
+</td>
+<td>
+<img src="images/g-85t.png" width="214" height="502" alt="Wet Feet (top Right)" style="float: right;">
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr><td>
+<img src="images/g-85b.png" width="210" height="231" alt="Wet Feet (bottom Left)">
+</td>
+<td>
+<p>One of them grew chilly;</p>
+<p>Said he felt so ill he</p>
+<p class="2">Knew he'd caught a cold, and coughed a lot!</p>
+<p>The other was so warm he</p>
+<p>Said he <i>liked</i> it stormy!</p>
+<p class="2">Which of them was Goop, and which was not?</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-86.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_21"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<h2><i>DRESS QUICKLY!</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-87.png); width: 500px; height: 719px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 160px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>
+All your life you'll have to dress,<br>
+Every single day (unless<br>
+You should happen to be sick),<br>
+Why not learn to do it quick?<br>
+Hang your clothes the proper way,<br>
+So you'll find them fresh next day;<br>
+Treat them with a little care,<br>
+Fold them neatly on a chair;<br>
+So, without a bit of worry,<br>
+You can dress in quite a hurry.<br>
+Think of the slovenly Goops, before<br>
+You strew your clothing on the floor!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-92.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_22"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-93.png); width: 500px; height: 715px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" summary="" style="margin-top: 35px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>DANGER!</i></h2>
+<p style="margin-top: 240px;">
+Ink, ink! What do you think!<br>
+You're sure to be stained, if you play with the ink!<br>
+You're sure to get black, if you play with the ink-well,<br>
+Before you begin it, just stop once, and think well!<br>
+All over your fingers, all over your face,<br>
+All over your clothes, and all over the place!<br>
+Your mother'll be angry, your father'll say, "<i>There!<br>
+I said not to touch it; you said you'd take care!</i>"
+</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>
+When Goops are so mischievous, they have to drink<br>
+Forty-four dozen bottles of raven black ink!
+</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-94.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_23"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-95t.png); width: 500px; height: 365px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="center" width="100%" summary="" style="margin-top: 70px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>THE REASON WHY</i></h2>
+</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">
+<p style="margin-top: 25px;"> Everybody liked Ezekiel.</p>
+<p class="2">Why?</p>
+<p>You could scarcely find his equal.</p>
+<p class="2">Why?</p>
+<p>If he made a mistake,</p>
+<p class="2">He said he was wrong;</p>
+<p>If he went on an errand,</p>
+<p class="2">He wasn't gone long;</p>
+<p>He never would bully,</p>
+<p class="2">Although he was strong!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-95b.png); width: 500px; height: 344px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="right" summary="" style="margin-right: 20px;">
+<tr><td>
+<p>Everybody hated Mello.</p>
+<p class="2">Why?</p>
+<p>He was such a surly fellow.</p>
+<p class="2">Why?</p>
+<p>If you asked him for candy,</p>
+<p class="2">He'd hide his away;</p>
+<p>He never would play</p>
+<p class="2">What the rest wished to play;</p>
+<p>He would say <i>horrid</i> words</p>
+<p class="2">That he oughtn't to say!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-96.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_24"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-97t.png" width="500" height="278" alt="In Goop Attire (top)">
+</center>
+<h2><i>IN GOOP ATTIRE</i></h2>
+<table align="center" summary="" >
+<tr><td>
+<p>I'll make you a dress of a towel,</p>
+<p class="2">And trim it all over with soap,</p>
+<p>With a sponge for a hat</p>
+<p>And a wet one, at that!</p>
+<p class="2">And <i>then</i> you'll be happy, I hope!</p>
+<p>You may act like a Goop, if you please,</p>
+<p>In garments constructed like these!</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>But now, while you're dressed up so neatly,</p>
+<p class="2">Don't wipe off your hands on your frock!</p>
+<p>The smooching that lingers</p>
+<p>When you wipe off your fingers,</p>
+<p class="2">Will give your dear mother a shock!</p>
+<p>The result will be even more shocking,</p>
+<p>If you wipe off your shoes on your stocking!</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+<center>
+<img src="images/g-97b.png" width="500" height="263" alt="In Goop Attire (bottom)">
+</center>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-98.png" alt=""></center><hr>
+<center>
+<table summary="" class="bordered" align="center"><tr><td>
+<a name="2H_4_25"><!-- H2 --></a>
+<table align="center" summary="" 
+style="background-image: url(images/g-99.png); width: 500px; height: 716px;">
+<tr><td valign="top">
+<table align="right" summary="" style="margin-top: 160px; margin-right: 20px;">
+<tr><td>
+<h2><i>IMPOSSIBLE!</i></h2>
+<p>There once was a Goop (<i>it is hard to believe</i></p>
+<p class="2"><i>Such unpleasant behavior of you!</i>)</p>
+<p>Who always was wiping his nose on his sleeve;</p>
+<p class="2"><i>I hope that this Goop wasn't you!</i></p>
+<p>He always was spitting (for fun, I suppose),</p>
+<p class="2"><i>I couldn't believe, it of you!</i></p>
+<p><i>And putting his fingers up into his nose;</i></p>
+<p class="2"><i>I KNOW that this Goop wasn't you!</i></p>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</td></tr></table>
+</center>
+<hr class="full">
+<!-- ===== -->
+<center><img width="40%" src="images/g-100.png" alt=""></center>
+<div style="height: 8em;"><br></div>
+
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13004 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
+
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author	Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org>	2025-10-15 04:41:10 -0700
committer	Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org>	2025-10-15 04:41:10 -0700
commit	0b87522d8309edeb7af6cc5e7e6eb6cde479e510 (patch)
tree	d7a112564149908312859ba73eaba76edd702cef /13004-h