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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:37:41 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:37:41 -0700 |
| commit | bf28f564424f3e96fb5684ec1ec306239a135598 (patch) | |
| tree | 4a31c62158762f91687d24727ab25b4e5b5a44c9 /old | |
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diff --git a/old/11737-8.txt b/old/11737-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..16f81e0 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/11737-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3360 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Barks and Purrs +by Colette Willy, aka Colette +Translated by Maire Kelly + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Barks and Purrs + +Author: Colette Willy, aka Colette +Translated by Maire Kelly + +Release Date: March 28, 2004 [EBook #11737] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BARKS AND PURRS *** + + + + +Produced by Hilary Caws-Elwitt and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + + + +BARKS AND PURRS + +BY + +COLETTE WILLY + + + + +TRANSLATED BY + +MAIRE KELLY + + + + + +CONTENTS + +PREFACE +SENTIMENTALITIES +ON THE TRAIN +DINNER IS LATE +SHE IS ILL +THE FIRST FIRE +THE STORM +A CALLER + + + + +PREFACE + +_Madame_: + +_There are moments when one seems to come to life. One looks about and +distinguishes a creature whose foot-print closely resembles the ace of +spades. The thing says: bow-wow. It is a dog. One looks again. The ace +of spades is now an ace of clubs. The thing says: pffffffff--and it is a +cat._ + +_This is the history of the visible world and in particular, that of my +god-children, Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure. They are so natural--I use +the word in the sense in which it is applicable to the savages of +Oceania--that all their acts conspire to make of life, a very simple +proposition. These are animals in the fullest sense of the +word--animos--if I may employ the original orthography, capable of +exclaiming with those of Faust_: "The fool knows it not! He knows not +the pot, He knows not the kettle." + + * * * * * + +_And as such, Madame, you have placed them exactly where they should be: +their earthly Paradise is the apartment of Monsieur Willy. In your +salon, the probable palm and rubber-plant give the impression of +luxuriant Edenic flora, relatively speaking, and illustrate the +transmogrification which is to allow M. Gaston Deschamps--critic of a_ +"Temps" _plus-que-passé--to announce to the wilderness (where he speaks +familiarly of Chateaubriand), and to the Collège de France, how well he +can admire and understand a true poet_. + + * * * * * + +_For you are a true poet and I will declare it freely, not concerning +myself more with the legends Parisians have the habit of weaving about +every celebrity. They admire Gauguin and Verlaine, not so much for their +originality, as for their eccentricities. And so it happens that certain +persons, unacquainted with the nameless sentiment, the order and purity, +the thousand interior virtues which guide you, persist in saying that +you wear your hair short and that Willy is bald._ + +_Must I then--living at Orthez--tell_ Tout-Paris _who you are, present +you to all who know you--I who have never seen you_? + + * * * * * + +_I will say then, that Madame Colette Willy never had short hair, that +she does not wear masculine attire; that her cat does not accompany her +when she goes to a concert, that her friend's dog does not drink from a +tumbler. It is inexact to say that Mme. Colette Willy works in a +squirrel's cage, or performs upon trapeze and flying rings, and can +reach with her toe the nape of her neck. Madame Colette Willy has never +ceased to be the_ plain woman _par excellence, who rises at dawn to give +oats to the horse, maize to the chickens, cabbage to the rabbits, +groundsel to the canaries, snails to the ducks and bran-water to the +pigs. At eight o'clock, summer and winter, she prepares the café au lait +for her maid--and herself. Scarcely a day passes that she does not +meditate upon this admirable book_: + +A LADY'S COUNTRY-HOUSE + +BY + +MME. MILLET ROBINET. + +_Orchard, kitchen-garden, stable, poultry-yard, bee-hive and hot-house, +have no further mysteries for Madame Colette Willy. They say, she +refused to divulge her secret for the destruction of mole-crickets to "a +great statesman, who prayed her on his knees."_ + + * * * * * + +_Madame Colette Willy is in no way different from the description I have +just given of her. I am aware that certain folk, having met her in +society, insist upon making her very complex. A little more, and they +would have ascribed to her the tastes of the mustiest symbolists--and +one knows how far from pleasing are those Muses' robes, how odious the +yellow bandeaux above faces expressionless as eggs. Robes and bandeaux +are to-day relegated to drawers in the Capitol at Toulouse, from which +they will never be taken more, except when occasion calls for the +howling of official alexandrines in honor of M. Gaston Deschamps, +Jaurès, or Vercingétorix._ + +_Madame Colette Willy rises to-day on the world of Letters as the +poetess--at last!--who, with the tip of her slipper sends all the +painted, laureled, cothurnèd, lyre-carrying Muses--that, from Monselet +to Renan, have roused the aspirations of classes in Rhetoric--rolling, +from the top to the bottom of Parnassus._ + +_How charming she is thus--presenting her bull-dog and her cat with as +much assurance as Diana would her hound, or a Bacchante her tiger._ + +_See her apple-cheeks, her eyes like blue myosotis, her +lips--poppy-petals, and her ivy-like grace! Tell me if this way of +leaning against the green barrier of her garden-close, or of lying under +the murmurous arbor of mid-Summer, is not worth the starched manner, +that old magistrate de Vigny--with his neckcloth wound three times +around, and rigid in his trousers' straps--imposed upon his goddesses? +Madame Colette Willy is a live woman, a real woman, who has dared to be +natural and who resembles a little village bride far more than a +perverse woman of letters_. + + * * * * * + +_Read her book and you shall see how accurate are my assertions. It has +pleased Madame Colette Willy to embody in a couple of delightful +animals, the aroma of gardens, the freshness of the field, the heat of +state-roads,--the passions of men.... For through this girlish laughter +ringing in the forest, I tell you, I hear the sobbing of a well-spring. +One does not stoop to a poodle or tom-cat, without feeling the heart +wrung with dumb anguish. One is sensible, in comparing ourselves to +them, of all that separates and of all that unites us_. + + * * * * * + +_A dog's eyes hold the sorrow of having, since the earliest days of +creation, licked the whip of his incorrigible persecutor in vain. For +nothing has mollified man--not the prey brought him by a famishing +spaniel, nor the humble guilelessness of the shepherd-dog, guarding the +peace of the shadowy flocks under the stars_. + +_A tragic fear shines in the cat's eyes. "What are you going to do to me +now?" it seems to ask, lying on a rubbish-heap, a prey to mange and +hunger--and feverishly it waits the new torture that will shatter its +nervous system_. + +_But have no fear ... Madame Colette Willy is very kind. She quickly +dispels the hereditary dread of Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure. She +meliorates the race, so that dogs and cats will learn in the end that it +is less dull to frequent a poet than an unhappy Collège de France +candidate--had this candidate proven more copiously still, that the +author of "Mémoires d'Outre-Tombe" had topsyturvily described the +jawbone of the Crocodile_. + + * * * * * + +_Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure well +know that their mistress is a lady who +would do no harm--neither to a piece of +sugar nor to a mouse; a lady who, for our +delight, jumps a rope she has woven of +flower-words which she never bruises, and +with which she perfumes us; a lady who sings, +with the voice of a clear French rivulet, that +wistful tenderness which makes the hearts of +animals beat so fast_. + +FRANCIS JAMMES. + + * * * * * + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, A Maltese cat. +TOBY-DOG, A French bull-dog. +HE, } +SHE,} Master and Mistress (of minor importance). + + + +SENTIMENTALITIES + + _The sunny porch_. TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _sprawl on the hot +stone-flags, taking their after luncheon nap. The silence of Sunday +prevails, yet_ TOBY-DOG _is not asleep: the flies and a heavy luncheon +torment him. Hind-quarters flattened out frog-fashion, he drags himself +on his belly up to_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _whose striped body is perfectly +quiet_. + +TOBY-DOG + +Are you asleep? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_purrs feebly_) + +TOBY-DOG + +Are you even alive? You're so flat! You look like the empty skin of a +cat. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_in faltering tones_) + +L-e-t--m-e--a-l-o-n-e.... + +TOBY-DOG + +Not sick, are you? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No.... Let me alone. I'm asleep. I'm not even conscious of my body. What +torment to live with you! I've eaten, it's two o'clock, let's sleep. + +TOBY-DOG + +I can't. Something's made a ball in my stomach. It means to go down I +guess, but very slowly. And then,--these _flies_, these _flies_! The +eyes start out of my head at the sight of one of them. I'm all jaws, +bristling with terrible teeth (just hear them snap), yet the infernal +things escape me. Oh! my ears! Oh! my poor, sensitive, brown belly! My +feverish nose! There! ... you see?... right on my nose! _What_ shall I +do? I squint all I can ... two of them now?... No ... only one ... no, +two!... I toss them up like bits of sugar and it's the empty air I +snap.... I'm worn out. I detest the sun, and the flies, and +everything!... + +(_He wails_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_sitting up, his eyes pale from the light and +sleepiness_) + +Well, you've succeeded in waking me. That's all you wanted, isn't it? My +dreams are gone! These flies that you're pursuing--I hardly felt their +little teasing feet through my thick fur. The merest touch, like a +caress, now and then thrilled along the silky sloping hairs which clothe +me.... But then you never act with any discretion. Your vulgar gayety is +a nuisance, and when sad you howl like a low comedian. + +TOBY-DOG, (_bitterly) + +_ If you woke up just to tell me _that_-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_correcting_) + +Of course you'll remember 'twas _you_ woke me. + +TOBY-DOG + +I was so uncomfortable, I wanted someone to help me, to give me a word +of encouragement.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +_I_ don't know any digestive words. + +(_Pause_.) + +Fancy their giving _me_ a bad character when ... Just examine your +conscience a bit and compare us. Hunger and heat wear you out and drive +you mad; cold makes your blood curdle.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_vexed_) + +Mine is a sensitive nature. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +A demoniacal nature, you mean! + +TOBY-DOG + +No, I don't mean that. You--you're a monstrous egoist. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Perhaps.... You and the Two-Paws don't understand what you're pleased to +call a cat's egoism.... Our instinct of self-preservation, our dignity, +our modest reserve, our attitude of weary renunciation (which comes of +the hopelessness of ever being understood by them), they dub, in +haphazard fashion, egoism. You're not a very discriminating dog, but at +least you're free from prejudice. Will _you_ understand me better? A cat +is a guest in the house, not a plaything. Truly these are strange times +we're living in! The Two-Paws, He and She, have _they_ alone the right +to be sad or joyful, to lick plates, to scold, or to go about the house +indulging their capricious humors? I too have _my_ whims, _my_ sorrows, +_my_ irregular appetite, _my_ hours of reverie when I wish to be +alone.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_attentive and conscientious_) + +I'm listening, but I can hardly follow what you say. It's so +complicated--a bit over my head, you know. But you astonish me! Are they +in the habit of hindering you in your changeful moods? You mew, and they +open the door. You lie on the paper--the sacred paper He's scratching +on--He moves away, marvelous condescension!--and leaves you his soiled +page. You meander up and down his scratching table, obviously in quest +of mischief, your nose wrinkled up, your tail giving quick little jerks +back and forth like a pendulum. She watches you laughing, while He +announces "the promenade of devastation." How then, can you accuse +Them-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_insincere_) + +I don't accuse Them. After all, psychological subtleties are not in your +line. + +TOBY-DOG + +Don't speak so fast. I need time to understand. It seems to me-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_slyly_) + +Pray, don't hurry! Your digestion might suffer in consequence. + +TOBY-DOG, (_unconscious of the irony_) + +You're right! I've some trouble in expressing myself to-day.--Well, here +goes: it seems to me that of the two of us it's you they make the most +of, and yet _you_ do all the grumbling. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +A dog's logic, that! The more one gives the more I demand. + +TOBY-DOG + +That's wrong. It's indiscreet. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Not at all. I have a right to everything. + +TOBY-DOG + +To everything? And I? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I don't imagine you lack anything, do you? + +TOBY-DOG + +Ah, I don't know. Sometimes in my very happiest moments, I feel like +crying. My eyes grow dim, my heart seems to choke me. I would like to be +sure, in such times of anguish, that everybody loves me; that there is +nowhere in the world a sad dog behind a closed door, that no evil will +ever come.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_jeering_) + +And _then_ what dreadful thing happens? + +TOBY-DOG + +You know very well! Inevitably, at that moment She appears, carrying a +bottle with horrible yellow stuff floating in it--Castor Oil! Wilful and +unfeeling, she holds me between her strong knees, opens my jaws-- +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Close them tighter! + +TOBY-DOG + +But I'm afraid of hurting her--and my tongue, horrified, tastes the +slimy mawkish stuff. I choke and spit, my poor face is convulsed and the +end of this torture is long in coming.... You've seen me afterwards +dragging myself around, melancholy, my head hanging, listening to the +unwholesome glouglou the oil makes in my stomach.... + + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Once when I was little She tried to give _me_ castor oil. I scratched +and bit her so, she never tried again. Ha! She must have thought she +held the devil between her knees. I squirmed, blew fire through my +nostrils, multiplied my twenty claws by a hundred, my teeth by one +thousand, and finally--disappeared as if by magic. + +TOBY-DOG + +I wouldn't dare do that. You see, I love her. I love her enough to +forgive her even the torture of the bath. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_interested_) + +You do? Tell me how it feels. It makes me shiver all over, just to see +her putting you in the water. + +TOBY-DOG + +Alas.... Listen then, and pity me. Sometimes, when She's come out of her +tub with nothing on her but her skin, her soft hairless skin that I lick +respectfully,--She spills out more warm water, throws in a brown brick +which smells of tar, and calls, "Toby!" That's enough! The soul quits +my body; my legs shake under me. Something shines on the water--the +picture of a window all twisted out of shape--it dances about and blinds +me. She seizes me, poor swooning thing that I am, and plunges me in.... +Ye Gods! From that time on I'm lost.... My one hope is in her. My eyes +fasten themselves on hers, while a close warmth sticks to me like +another skin on top of mine.... The brick's all foamy now ... I smell +tar ... my eyes and nostrils smart ... there are storms in my ears. She +grows excited, breathes loud and fast, laughs, and scrubs me +light-heartedly. At last She rescues me, fishing me out by the nape of +my neck, I paw the air, begging for life; then comes the rough towel and +the warm coverlet where, exhausted, I relish my convalescence.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_deeply impressed_) + +Calm yourself. + +TOBY-DOG + +Jove! The telling it alone!... But--you old sly-boots--didn't I see her +one day armed with a sponge standing over _you,_ holding _you_ down on +the toilet table? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_quite embarrassed, lashing his tail_) + +An old story! The long, fluffy hairs on my legs (which give them the +outline of a Zouave's) had somehow gotten dirty. She insisted upon +washing me. I persuaded her that I suffered atrociously under the +sponge.... + +TOBY-DOG + +What a fibber you are! Did She believe you? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +'Um ... at first. It was my own fault tho' when She didn't. Turned over +on my back, I proffered the candid belly, the terrified and forgiving +eyes of a lamb about to be sacrificed. I felt a slight coolness, nothing +more. A fear that my sensibilities might be destroyed, took possession +of me. My rhythmical wailings increased, then subsided, then went up +again like the noise of the sea (you know the strength of my voice). I +imitated the calf, the whipped child, the cat in the night, the wind +under the door. Little by little I grew enraptured with my own song, so +that long after She had finished soiling me with cold water I continued +wailing, my eyes fixed on the ceiling. Then She laughed tactlessly and +cried out, "You're as untruthful as a woman!" + +TOBY-DOG, (_with conviction_) + +That _was_ annoying. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I was angry with her the entire afternoon. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, as to sulking, you do your share! _I_ never can. I forget injuries. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_dryly_) + +You lick the hand that chastens you. Oh it's well known! + +TOBY-DOG, (_gullible_) + +I lick the hand that--yes, that's it exactly.--An awfully pretty +expression. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Not mine.... Dignity doesn't trouble _you_ any! My word! I'm often +ashamed for you. You love everybody. You take all sorts of rebuffs +without even raising your back. You're as pleasant and as banal as a +public garden. + +TOBY-DOG Don't you believe it, you ill-bred cat! You think you know +everything and you don't understand simple politeness. Frankly now, +would you have me snarl at His or Her friends' heels,--well-dressed +people who know my name (lots of people _I_ don't know know my name) and +good-naturedly pull my ears? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I hate new faces. + +TOBY-DOG + +I don't love them either--whatever you say. I love--Her and Him. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +And I, Him--and Her. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, I guessed _your_ preference long ago. There's a sort of secret +understanding between you two-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_smiling mysteriously and abandoning himself to his +reverie_) + +An understanding, yes--secret and profound. He rarely speaks but makes a +noise like a mouse, scratching his paper. It's for Him I've treasured up +my little heart, my precious cat's heart, and He, without words, has +given me his. This exchange makes me happy and reserved. Now and then +with that pretty, wayward, ruling instinct which makes us cats rivals of +women, I try my power over him. When we are alone, I point my ears +forward devilishly as a sign that I'm about to spring upon his +scratching paper. The tap, tap, tap of my paws straight through pens and +letters and everything scattered about, is addressed to him as well as +the insistent miauling when I beg for liberty. "Hymn to the Door-Knob," +He laughingly calls it, or "The Plaint of the Sequestered Cat." The +tender contemplation of my inspiring eyes is for him alone; they weigh +on his bent head, until the look I'm calling searches and meets mine in +a shock of souls, so foreseen and so sweet, that I must needs close my +lids to hide the exquisite shyness I feel. + +As for Her, she flutters about too much, often jostles me, holds my paws +together and rocks me in the air, pets me in excited fashion, laughs +aloud at me, imitates my voice too well-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_moved with indignation_) + +You're very hard to please! I certainly love Him; he's good and pretends +not to see my faults, so that he won't have to scold, but She's the most +beautiful thing in the world to me, the dearest and--the most difficult +to understand. The sound of her step enchants me, her changeful eyes +dispense happiness--and trouble. She's like Destiny itself, she never +hesitates. Even torture from her hands--you know how She teases me? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE Cruelly. + +TOBY-DOG + +No, not cruelly, but artfully. I never can tell what's coming next. This +morning She bent down as if to speak to me, lifted one of my "tiny +elephant's ears," as She calls them, and sent a sharp cry into it, which +went to the very back of my brain. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Horrors! + +TOBY-DOG + +Was it right or wrong? I can't decide even now. It started waves of +nervousness running madly through me. Then, She has a fancy for making +me do tricks. Almost every day I must--"Do the Fish, Toby dear." She +lifts me in her arms and squeezes me until I gasp. My poor dumb mouth +opens as a carp's does when they're drowning it in air.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +That's _just_ like Her! + +TOBY-DOG + +Suddenly I find myself free--and still alive, miraculously saved by the +power of her will. How beautiful life seems to me then! How fondly I +lick the hand hanging at her side, the hem of her dress! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_contemptuously_) + +A pretty thing to do! + +TOBY-DOG + +All good and all evil come to me from Her. She is my worst torment and +my one sure refuge. When I run to her, my heart sick with fear, how soft +her arms are and how sweet her hair, falling in my face! I'm her +"black-baby," her "Toby-Dog," her "little bit o' love." She sits on the +ground to reassure me, making herself little like me--lies down +altogether and I go wild with delight at the sight of her face under +mine, thrown back in her fragrant hair. My feelings overflow, I can't +resist such a chance for a jolly good game. I rummage and fumble about, +excitedly poking my nose everywhere, till I find the crispy tip of a +pink ear--Her ear. I nibble it just enough to tickle her--to make her +cry out: "Stop, Toby! That's awful! Help! Help! This dog's devouring +me!" + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +H'm! Simple, homely, wholesome joys! ... And then, off you go to make +friends with the cook. + +TOBY-DOG And you,--with the cat at the farm. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_coldly_) + +Enough I pray, that concerns no one but myself ... and the little cat. + +TOBY-DOG + +A pretty conquest! It should make you blush--a seven-months-old kitten! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_roused_) + +For me she has all the charm of forbidden fruit and no one dare steal +her from me. She is slim as a bean-pole.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +You old rascal! KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... and long; poised on long legs she walks with the uncertain step +common to all young things. She hunts field-mice, shrew-mice--even +partridge, and this hard work in the fields has toughened her young +muscles and given a rather gloomy expression to her kitten-face. + +TOBY-DOG + +She's ugly. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No, not ugly, but odd-looking. Her muzzle with its very pink nostrils +strongly resembles that of a goat, her large ears remind one of a +peasant's coif, her eyes the color of old gold are set slant-wise, and +their naturally keen expression is varied by an occasional piquant +squint. + +With what a will does she fly me confounding modesty with fear! I pass +slowly by (one would think me quite uninterested), draped in my splendid +coat. She's struck by its stripes. Oh, she'll come back, a little +love-sick kitten, and putting aside all constraint she'll throw herself +at my feet--like a supple white scarf-- + +TOBY-DOG + +I've no objection, you know.... I'm comparatively indifferent to all +that concerns love. Here my time's so completely filled ... physical +exercise ... my cares of watch-dog, I ... hardly give a thought to the +bagatelle. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_aside) + +Bagatelle!... He indulges in the persiflage of a traveling salesman! + +TOBY-DOG + +I love--Her and Him devotedly, with a love that lifts me up to them. It +suffices to occupy my time and heart. + +The hour of our siesta is passing, my scornful friend. Do you know, I +like you in spite of your scorn and you like me, too. Don't turn your +head away, your peculiar modesty would hide what you call frailty and +what I call love. Do you think me blind? How often, on coming back to +the house with Her, have I seen your little triangular face at the +window, light up and smile at my approach,--the time to open the door +and you'd already put on your cat's mask--your pretty Japanesy mask, +with its narrow eyes.... Isn't it so? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_resolved not to hear_) + +The hour of the siesta is passing. The cone-shaped shadows of the pear +trees grow long on the gravel path. We've talked away our sleepiness. +You've forgotten the flies, your uneasy stomach, and the heat which +dances in waves on the meadows. The beautiful, sultry day is dying. +Already there's a breeze bringing perfume from the pines. Their trunks +are melting into bright tears.... + +TOBY-DOG + +Here She is! She's left her wicker chair, stretched her lovely arms and, +judging from the movement of her dress, I think we're going to take a +walk. See her behind the rosebushes? Now, with her nails she breaks a +leaf from the lemon tree; she's crumpling it up and smelling it. Ah ... +I belong to Her, soul and body. With my eyes closed I can divine her +presence. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Yes, I see Her. She is quiet and gentle for the time being. He'll leave +his paper now to follow her. He'll come out calling, "Where are you?" +and sit on the bench, tired out. For _him_, I shall rise politely, and +go "do my nails" along the leg of his trousers. Silent, happy +companions, we'll listen for the day's departing footsteps. The perfume +of the lindens will become sickeningly sweet at the same hour that my +seer's eyes grow big and black and read mysterious Signs in the air.... +Later on a calm fire will be lit down there, behind the pointed +mountain--a circle of glistening rose-color in the gray-blue of the +night--a sort of luminous cocoon from which will burst the dazzling edge +of the moon. She will sail along, cleaving the clouds.... Then, it will +be time to go to rest. He'll carry me in on his shoulder and I'll sleep +close to his feet, which are ever mindful of my repose.... Dawn will +find me shivering but rejuvenated, sitting face to the sun, in a silvery +halo of incense, offered me by the dew. Thus, I am a perfect picture of +the god I was in the old, old days. + + + + +ON THE TRAIN + + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, TOBY-DOG, SHE _and_ HE, _have taken their places in a +first-class compartment. The train rolls along towards distant +mountains, and the freedom of Summer-time_. TOBY, _on a leash, lifts an +inquiring nose to the window_. HE _has strewn the carriage with +newspapers_: KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _silent and invisible in a closed basket, +is under his immediate protection_. SHE, _leaning back against the dusty +cushions, dreams of the mountain she loves best and of the low house on +it, weighted down with jasmine and virginia-creeper_. + +TOBY-DOG + +How fast this carriage goes! It can't be our regular coachman. I haven't +seen the horses, but they smell very bad and make black smoke. Oh, +Silent Dreamer, look at me and tell me--shall we arrive soon? + +(_No response_. TOBY _gets fidgety and blows through his nostrils_.) +SHE + +Hush! Toby, hush! + +TOBY-DOG + +I've hardly said a word.... Shall we arrive soon? + +(_He turns towards his master, who is reading, and puts a discreet paw +on the edge of his knee_.) + +HE + +'Sh!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_resigned_) + +Hard luck! No one wants to talk to me. I'm bored and what's more, I +don't know this carriage well enough. I'm tired out. They woke me very +early this morning. I amused myself by running all over the house. They +had hidden the chairs under sheets, wrapped up the lamps, rolled up the +rugs. Things were white and changed and awful. There was a horrid smell +of camphor everywhere. My eyes filled with water, I sneezed under the +chairs and slid on the bare floor in my haste to follow the maids' white +aprons. They bustled about among trunks with such unwonted zeal, that I +was sure something exceptional was going to happen. At the last minute +just as She came in, calling: "Toby's collar and the cat's basket! +Quick! put the cat in his basket!"--just as she was saying that, my chum +disappeared. It was indescribable! He, terrible to see, swore by all the +gods, and struck the floor with his cane, furious because they had +allowed his Kiki to get away. She called "Kiki!" at first +supplicatingly, then in threatening tones, and the maids brought empty +plates, meant to deceive, and yellow paper from the butcher's. I really +thought my chum had left this world, when suddenly--there he was perched +on top of the book-case, looking down on us with an expression of +contempt in his green eyes. She put up her arms: "Kiki _will_ you come +down immediately! You are going to make us lose the train!" But he +didn't come down and it made me dizzy--though I was on the ground--to +see him way up there walking and turning about and miauling shrilly to +tell us how impossible he found it to obey. He was about frantic and +kept saying: "Heavens, he's going to fall." But She smiled skeptically, +went out of the room and came back armed with the whip. The whip said, +"crack!" twice only; then a miracle happened I think, 'cause the cat +leaped to the floor, softer and more bouncey than our plaything, the +ball of wool. _I_ would have broken to pieces falling like that!... He +has been in this basket ever since.... (TOBY _goes to the basket_.) Ah! +here's a little peek-hole.... I see his whiskers ... they're like white +needles. Whew! What eyes! (_He jumps back_.) I'm rather afraid. One +can't really shut a cat up; he always manages to get out somehow. ... He +must suffer, poor fellow! Perhaps if I speak kindly to him ... (_he +calls very politely_) Cat! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_spitting furiously_) + +Khhh!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_jumping back_) + +Oh, you said a bad word! You look awful! Have you a pain anywhere? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Go away! I'm a martyr.... Go away I tell you, or I'll blow fire at you! + +TOBY-DOG, (_ingenuous_) + +But why? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Why!--Because you're free, because I'm in this basket, because the +basket's in a foul carriage which is shaking me to pieces, and because +the serenity of those two exasperates me. + +TOBY-DOG + +Would you like me to look out and tell you what one sees from the +carriage window? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Everything is equally odious to me. + +TOBY-DOG, (_having looked out, comes back_) + +I haven't seen anything.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_) + +Thanks just the same. + +TOBY-DOG + +I mean I haven't seen anything that's easy to describe. Some green +things which pass right close to us--so close and so fast that they give +one a slap in the eye. A flat field turning 'round and 'round and over +there, a little pointed steeple--it's running as fast as the carriage. +Another field all red with blossoming clover has just given me another +slap in the eye--a red slap. The earth is sinking in--or else we're +going up, I'm not sure which. I see way off, _far_ away, some green +lawns dotted with white daisies--perhaps they're cows. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_with sarcasm_) + +Or wafers, for sealing letters--or anything you like. + +TOBY-DOG + +Aren't you the least little bit amused? KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_with a +sinister laugh_) + +Ha! Ask of the damned ... + +TOBY-DOG + +Of whom? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_more and more melodramatic, but without conviction_) + +... of the damned in his vat of boiling oil, if anything amuses him! +Mine is not physical torment. I suffer imprisonment, humiliation, +darkness, neglect-- + +(_The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries "Aw-ll a-bor!!... +awl aborr!!"_) + +TOBY-DOG, (_bewildered_) + +Someone's crying out! There's an accident!! Let's run!!! + +(_He throws himself against the carriage door and scratches madly at +it_.) SHE, (_half asleep_) + +Toby dear, you're a nuisance! + +TOBY-DOG, (_distracted_) + +Oh, you inexplicable person! How can you sit there quietly? Don't you +hear those cries? They're stopping now--the accident has gone away. Wish +I'd known ... + +(_The train starts again_.) + +HE, (_throwing down his paper_) + +The poor beast is hungry. + +SHE, (_now very wide awake_) + +You think so? Well, I am too. But Toby is to eat very little. + +HE, (_anxiously_) + +And Kiki-the-Demure? + +SHE, (_peremptorily_) Kiki sulks, and he hid this morning, so he'll +have even less than Toby. + +HE + +He isn't making a sound. Aren't you afraid he's sick? + +SHE + +No, he's simply vexed. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_as soon as there's question of himself_) + +Me-ow! + +HE, (_tenderly and eagerly_) + +Come my beautiful Kiki, my imprisoned one, come. You shall have cold +roast-beef and some breast of chicken ... + +(_He opens the prison basket and_ KIKI _puts forth his_ _head, flattened +on top like that of a serpent; then his long, striped body, cautiously, +and so very slowly that one begins to think it's coming out by the +yard_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_pleasantly) + +Ah, there you are, cat! Well, now, proclaim your freedom! + +(KIKI, _without replying, smoothes his ruffled fur_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +Proclaim your freedom I tell you! It's the custom. Whenever a door is +opened one must run, jump, twist oneself into half circles and cry out. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +_One_? Who's one, pray? + +TOBY-DOG + +We dogs. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_seated and very dignified_) + +Would you have me _bark_, too?... We have never followed the same rules +of conduct, that I know of. + +TOBY-DOG, (_vexed_) + +Oh very well, I don't insist. How do you like this carriage? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_sniffing fastidiously_) + +It's frightful.--However, the cushions are rather good for one's nails. + +(_He suits the action to the word_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +Now if _I_ did that ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing to scratch the upholstery_) + +Hon! May this spongy, gray cloth soothe my rage!... Since morning, the +whole universe has been in a state of monstrous revolt. He whom I love, +and who venerates me, made not the least effort to defend me. I've +submitted to humiliating contacts, been jolted to death, piercing +whistles have shot through my head from ear to ear. Ho, ho, how good it +is to relax the nerves and to imagine that, with gleeful claws, one +tears the enemies' flesh in bloody shreds! Ho, ho! S-c-r-a-t-c-h, and +lift the paws on high! Lift them high as possible! It's a supremely +insolent gesture.... + +SHE + +I say, Kiki, when are you going to stop that? + +HE, (_Indulgent and admiring_) + +Let him alone. He's doing his nails. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He has spoken for me. I forgive him. But since it's allowed, I don't +care any more about tearing the cushions ... When will I get out of +this? Not that I'm afraid; they are both there, and the dog too, with +their everyday faces ... I've twinges in my stomach. + +(_He yawns. The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries, "Aw-ll +a-bor! Aw-ll a-b-o-r-r!!"_) + +TOBY-DOG, (_excited_) + +Screaming again! Another accident?!--Let's run!... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Heavens, what a tiresome dog! What does it matter to him, if there _is_ +an accident? + +I don't believe in it moreover. It's the cry of a man, and men cry out +for the pleasure of hearing their own voices. + +TOBY-DOG, (_calm again_) + +I'm hungry. Can't we hope to eat soon, my mistress? I don't know what +time it is in this strange country, but it seems to me.... + +SHE + +Come now, we'll all have our luncheon. + +(_She takes the things out of the basket, crumples up some tissue paper +and breaks a crisp brown roll_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_chewing_) + +What She gave me then must have been very good indeed to seem such a +tiny bit. It melted in my mouth, there's not even the memory of it +left.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_chewing_) + +Breast of chicken! Purr-rr ... Goodness me! I was purring without +knowing it! That won't do. They'll think me resigned to this journey. I +must eat slowly, grim, and undeceived, eat for the sole purpose of +keeping myself alive ... + +SHE, (_to the dog and cat_) + +Allow me to have _my_ luncheon now, if you please. _I_ too, like cold +chicken and the hearts of lettuce, dipped in salt.... + +HE, (_anxiously_) + +What _shall_ we do to make this cat go into his basket again? + +SHE + +I don't know. We'll see presently ... + +TOBY-DOG + +Finished already? I could swallow three times that much. I say Cat, +you're eating rather well for a martyr. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_fibbing_) + +Trouble digs a hole in one's interior. Move away please, I want to sleep +now ... if I can. Perhaps a merciful dream will take me back to the +house I've left, to the flowered cushion He gave me.... Home! sweet +home! Rugs of bright colors for the delight of my eyes, a palm with +nice shoots for me to eat, deep arm-chairs, under which I hide my woolen +ball as a future surprise for myself--ah, and the cork hanging by a +string to the door-latch! the tables covered with bibelots! I thread my +way in and out among them and occasionally it amuses me to break some +brittle thing. The dining-room is a temple! The vestibule, full of +mystery; there unseen, I can watch those who come and go ... Oh narrow +back-stairway, where the step of the milkman rings out for me like a +morning angelus--farewell! farewell! my destiny carries me on, and who +knows if ever ... But this is _too_ sad! All the pretty things I've been +saying have really begun to make me feel badly!! + +(_He begins a minute and mournful toilet. The train stops. A conductor +on the platform cries, "Aw-ll-a-borr-a-borr!!"_) + +TOBY-DOG + +There it is again! An acci--Oh bother, I've had enough of that! + +HE, (_anxiously_) + +We're going to change trains in ten minutes. How about the cat? He'll +never allow us to shut him up ... + +SHE + +We'll see ... Suppose we put some meat in his basket? + +HE + +Or perhaps petting would ... + +(_They approach the redoubtable_ KIKI _and both speak together_.) + +HE + +Kiki, my beautiful Kiki, come jump on my knee, or on my shoulder. You +like that as a rule. You'll doze there and then I'll put you gently into +the basket. After all, it's open-work and has a comfortable cushion to +protect you from the rough wicker. Come, my dear.... + +SHE + +Listen, Kiki. You must learn to act properly and to take life as it is. +You can't stay there like that. We're going to change trains and a +horrible guard will appear and say insulting things of you and your +race. Besides you'd better obey, because if you don't, I--I'll give you +a good whipping. + +(_But before she can lift her hand against his sacred fur, Kiki gets up, +stretches himself, arches his back, yawns,--to show the rosy lining of +his mouth, and then walks to the open basket where he lies down with an +admirable air of quiet insolence. He and She exchange eloquent +glances_.) + + + + +DINNER IS LATE + + +_A parlor, in the country, at the close of a long summer's day_. +KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG _doze; ears twitching and eyelids +obstinately shut. Now_ KIKI'S _lids part in a narrow slit, and disclose +eyes the color of purple grapes. He yawns, with the ferocious +expression of a small dragon._ + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_haughtily_) + +You're snoring! + +TOBY-DOG, (_who was not really asleep_) + +I'm not; it's you. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Impossible! I don't snore, I purr. + +TOBY-DOG + +Same thing. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_not condescending to a discussion_) + +Thank heaven, it isn't! (_A silence_.) + +I'm hungry. One doesn't hear the noise of plates in the next room. Isn't +it dinner time? + +TOBY-DOG, (_gets up, slowly stretches his forepaws and yawns, darting +forth a heraldic tongue with curly end_) I don't know ... I'm hungry. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Where is She? How is it you're not at her heels? + +TOBY-DOG, (_embarrassed, nibbling his nails_) + +She's in the garden I believe, picking up plums. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Those yellow balls that rain about one's ears? I know them. You've seen +her then? I bet She scolded you ... What have you been doing now? + +TOBY-DOG, (_self-conscious, turning away his wrinkled, toad-like face_) + +She told me to return to the house because--because I too, was eating +plums. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +She did well! You have depraved tastes--the tastes of men. + +TOBY-DOG, (_offended_) + +Say--no one ever sees me eating bad fish! And never, _never_ will I +understand how you can go into such fits over a dead frog, or that herb. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Valerian. + +TOBY-DOG + +That's it, I guess ... An herb--is medicine, isn't it? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Medicine, indeed! Valerian ... but no _you_, can't understand ... I've +seen Her laugh and go on, as I do over the valerian, after having +emptied a glass of fetid wine that jumped dangerously too. As for the +dead frog--so dead that it seems a bit of dry russia leather in the form +of a frog--it's a sachet, impregnated with rare musk, with which I wish +to scent my fur. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, you talk very well--but She always scolds and says that you smell +bad after it, and He says the same thing. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +They're nothing but Two-Paws, both of them. You, poor thing, belittle +yourself by seeking to imitate them. You stand on your hind legs, wear a +coat when it rains, eat plums--for shame!--and those big green balls, +the malicious trees let fall sometimes, when I'm passing underneath. + +TOBY-DOG + +Apples? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Very likely. She picks one up and throws it down the path, crying: +"Apple, Toby, apple," and you rush after, in unseemly fashion, gasping +for breath, looking like a fool, your tongue and your eyes sticking +out.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_scowling, head resting on his paws_) + +One takes one's pleasures where one finds them. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_yawning, shows his pointed teeth and his palate of +pink velvet_) + +I'm hungry. Dinner is surely late tonight. Suppose you look for Her? + +TOBY-DOG + +I daren't. She forbade it. She is down there in the hollow, with a big +basket. The dew is falling and wetting her feet and the sun's going +away. But you know how She is. She sits on the damp ground, looking +ahead of her, as if She were asleep--or lies flat on her stomach, +whistling and watching an ant in the grass ... She tears up a handful of +wild thyme and smells it, or calls the tomtits and the jays--who never +come to her by any chance. She takes a heavy watering pot and--ugh! it +gives me the shivers--pours thousands of icy, silvery threads over the +roses or into the hollows of those little stone troughs, 'way back in +the woods. I always look in to see the head of a brindle-bull who comes +to meet me and to drink up the pictures of the leaves, but She pulls me +back by the collar with: "Toby, Toby, _that_ water is for the birds." +... Then She takes out her knife and opens nuts, fifty, a _hundred_ +nuts, and forgets the time ... There's no end to the things She does. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_slyly_) + +And what do you do all that time? + +TOBY-DOG + +I--well--I just wait for her. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I admire you! + +TOBY-DOG + +Once in a while, squatting down, She eagerly scratches the earth, toils +and sweats over it; then I jump 'round her, delighted to see her at +something so useful and so familiar. But her feeble scent deceives her. +_I_ never smell mole, or shrew-mouse-of-the-rosy-paws, in the holes +_She_ digs. And how explain her utter lack of purpose? Presently, +falling back on her haunches, She brandishes a hairy-rooted herb and +cries: "I have it, the jade!" I lie in the damp grass and tremble, or +dig my nose (She calls it my snout) into the earth to get the +complicated odors of it. ... When there are three or four scents all +blended, all mixed together, can you distinguish that of the mole from +that of the hare which passed quickly, or the bird which rested there? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Certainly I can. My nose is highly educated. It's small, regular, wide +between my eyes, delicate at the chamois-skin end of my nostrils; the +lightest touch of a blade of grass, the shadow of smoke tickles and +makes it sneeze. It doesn't bother about distinguishing the scent of +moles from that of--hares, did you say? But it delights in the trace +left by a cat in a hedge ... I've a charming nose. She calls it, "his +pretty little nose of cotton velvet." Since my eyes opened on this world +I've not known the day that someone has not uttered a truthful flattery +on the subject of my nose. Now yours--is a rough-grained truffle. What +makes you move it so ridiculously? At this very moment. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm hungry and I don't hear the plates. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... your truffle of a nose works up and down and makes another wrinkle +in your irregular mug. + +TOBY-DOG + +She always says, "his square muzzle, his wrinkled truffle," so tenderly +and so lovingly! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... And you think of nothing but eating. + +TOBY-DOG + +It's _your_ empty stomach that scolds and complains and wants to quarrel +with me. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I've a charming stomach. + +TOBY-DOG + +But no, it's your nose that's charming. You just said so. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +My stomach too. There's none more fastidious, more whimsical, stronger +and at the same time more delicate. It digests the bones of sole, but +meat that's the least bit tainted literally turns it. + +TOBY-DOG + +Literally's the word. You have _active_ indigestion. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Yes, the whole house is affected by it. From the very first qualms I'm +in terrible distress; the earth gives way under me, my eyes dilate, I +hurriedly swallow quantities of salty saliva; involuntary, ventriloquial +cries escape me, my sides bulge out-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_disgusted_) + +I say, if it's all the same to you, tell me the rest after dinner. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I'm hungry. Where can He be? + +TOBY-DOG + +He's there, in his study, scratching paper. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He's always doing that. It's a game. Two-Paws play at the same thing for +hours and hours. I've often tried to scratch paper gently, as He does, +but the pleasure doesn't last long. I prefer newspapers torn into shreds +that rustle and fly ... There is a little pot of dark-violet, muddy +water on his table. I never sniff it without horror, since the day a +rather foolish curiosity made me dip my paw into it. This very paw, so +strong and aristocratic, (the tufts of useless hair you see between my +toes proclaim the purity of my race) this very paw bore a bluish stain +for eight days and the degrading odor of rusty steel clung to it a long +time after ... + +TOBY-DOG + +What's the little pot for? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He drinks from it doubtless. + +(_Silence_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +She's not back yet! Heaven grant She isn't lost, as I was one day in the +streets of Paris! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I'm hungry! + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm hungry! What are we going to eat this evening? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I saw a chicken. It made a silly noise and dropped red blood on the +kitchen floor, soiling it far more than I ever did, or you either--yet +no one whipped it. But Emily put it in the fire, to teach it a lesson. I +licked up some of the blood ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_yawns_) + +Chicken ... it makes my mouth water. She'll say: "Here Toby, bones!" and +throw me the carcass. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +How badly you speak! He says: "Little chicken bones, Kiki, little +chicken bones!" + +TOBY-DOG, (_surprised_) + +But no _really_ it's, "Here, Toby, bones!" that She says. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He speaks better than She does. + +TOBY-DOG, (_incompetent_) + +Ah?... Tell me, do birds taste anything like chicken? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_whose eyes light up suddenly_) + +No ... they're far better, they're alive. Ha, the quivering bird, the +warm feathers, the delicious little brain ... you feel it all crackling +between your teeth! + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, you make me sick! It always worries me to see tiny animals like that +flutter about ... and birds are dear, good little things. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_dryly_) + +Don't you believe it, they're only good to eat. They're noisy, stupid +creatures, infatuated with themselves, _made_ to be eaten. ... You know +the two jays? + +TOBY-DOG + +Not very well. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE They live in the little wood. When I walk by they laugh +a sardonic "tiac, tiac," because I wear a bell at my neck. In vain do I +hold my head very stiffly and put my paws down _very_ gently, my bell +tinkles and the two creatures scream from the top of the fir-tree. Just +let me get hold of them, one of these days!... + +(_He lays back his ears and raises the hair along his back_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_pensive_) Positively, Cat, there are times when I don't know +you. We are talking quietly and suddenly you bristle like a +bottle-brush; or we happen to be playing amicably together and I bark +behind your back--bow, wow-wow!--just for fun; then,--one doesn't know +why, perhaps because my nose has grazed the long hairs on your legs +you're so proud of--you become all at once a savage beast, spitting +fire, and charging at me like a strange dog. Don't you think that shows +a bad character? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_mysterious, eyes half-closed_) + +Not at all. It's character, simply. A Cat's character. In such moments +of irritability, I'm keenly alive to the humiliation of my present +state, and that of my race. + +I can remember a time when priests in long, linen tunics, bending low, +spoke to us and humbly tried to comprehend our chanted utterance. Know, +dog, that it is not _we_ who have changed! It may be, there are days +when I'm more myself, when everything offends me, and justly; a brusque +gesture, a vulgar laugh, the banging of a door, your odor, your +inconceivable impudence when you touch me, or encircle me, jumping and +yelping ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_patiently, to himself_) + +He's having one of his attacks. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_with a start_) + +Did you hear? + +TOBY-DOG + +Yes, the kitchen door, and the door into the dining-room ... and now the +drawer where the spoons are kept. At last! At last! aaah! (_He yawns_.) +I can't stand this any longer. _Where_ is She? I don't hear the gravel +creaking ... night's coming on! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_) + +Go find her. + +TOBY-DOG + +And how about Him? He usually worries, and comes in asking, "Where is +She?" But He's scratching still. He must have drunk up all the +violet-colored water in the muddy little pot by this time. (TOBY +_carefully stretches his legs_.) Ah! I feel lively ... and empty. We're +going to eat soon! Just smell the good kitchen-smells that come under +the door!... Let's play! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. + +TOBY-DOG + +Run, I'll chase, without touching you. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. + +TOBY-DOG + +Why not? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I don't want to. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh! but you're tiresome! Watch me jump and arch my neck like a little +horse and try to catch my stubby tail. Now I turn 'round and +'round--and--heavens! the whole room spins!--It's--st--opping--now. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Insufferable creature! + +TOBY-DOG + +Insufferable yourself! Look out, I'm going to run at you as She does, +when She's merry, crying "Ha, cat!" + +(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _without rising, puts up a paw bristling with claws +and spotted underneath with rose color and black; it looks like a thorny +flower_.) + +If you dare!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_in a frenzy_) I do dare! Bow-wow-wow! Ha, cat! ha, cat! + +(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _exasperated, gives a spring and hangs on the +table-cloth, slowly dragging it down. A lamp and various things fall to +the ground. Terrified silence. The two animals, crouching under an +arm-chair, await punishment_.) + +HE _appears at the study door, holding a pen, like a bit, between his +teeth_. + +Thunder and blitzen! What is it now? This cursed menagerie has +overturned everything! Where's your Mistress? What a place this is to be +sure! Dinner never on time!... (etc., etc., etc....) + +(_The two guilty ones, who well know the harmlessness of such outbursts, +laugh quietly to themselves and lying flat as bed-room slippers, look at +one another through the fringes of the chair. The garden gate opens_. + +SHE _comes in carrying a basket, full of fragrant plums; her hands are +sticky from their sugariness, her hair tumbled_. SHE _stands horrified, +before the disaster_.) + +SHE + +Oh! They've been fighting again, have they? (_Without conviction_.) Dear +_me,_ what nasty creatures! I'll give them away! I'll sell them!!--I'll +_kill_ them!!! (_But the cat and dog, groveling in exaggerated humility, +crawl up to her, and speak together_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Purr-rr-rr!...There you are!...It's very late ...Toby attacked me; it's +he who's broken everything. I believe he went mad from hunger.... You +smell good, of grass and the twilight. You sat down on some wild thyme. +Come!...Tell your Master to carry me on his shoulder--the meat will be +overdone, I'm afraid. You'll carve the chicken very quickly, won't you, +and you'll keep the browned skin for me? If you wish I'll stretch out my +paw like a spoon, which knows how to take up the littlest morsels, and +carry them to my mouth with that human gesture that makes you laugh +so--you and He.... Come! + +TOBY-DOG Hiii ... hiii ... there you are at last! I'm so unhappy when +you're away. You banished me ... you didn't love me ... The lamp fell +down all by itself ... Come! I'm awfully hungry, but I'll gladly go +without dinner, if you'll promise to take me with you always wherever +you go ... yes, even out in the twilight, though it makes me sad, I'll +willingly follow you there ... my nose close, close to the hem of your +dress.... + +SHE, (_disarmed and quite indifferent to the cataclysm_) + +Do look how pretty they are! + + + + +SHE IS ILL + + _A bed-room in the country-house; autumnal sunshine filters in through +closed blinds_. SHE _lies on a couch, apparently asleep, dressed in a +white woolen gown_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _makes his toilet on a narrow +console-table_. TOBY-DOG, _on the carpet, in a sphinx-like attitude, +watches_ HER _and at the same time, is attentive to the words of his +master, who is leaving the room on tip-toe._ + +HE, (_in a very low voice to the two animals_) + +Sh! Don't wake her. Be good. I'm going downstairs, to write. + +(_He closes the door noiselessly after him_.) TOBY-DOG, (_to_ +KIKI-THE-DEMURE) + +What did He say? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I don't know. Something vague. Directions, like: stay there, good-by. + +TOBY-DOG + +He said, "'Sh!" _I'm_ not making any noise. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_) + +They're astonishing! They say "no noise," and thereupon walk off with a +step a deaf rat could hear two miles away. + +TOBY-DOG Some truth in that. (_He looks at the sleeping figure on the +couch_.) Her face still looks very small. She's asleep. If you jump down +from that table don't land with a big thump. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stiffly_) + +Ah, you're teaching me to jump now, are you? Oh, worthy counselor! +(_quoting_) Put a beggar in your barn and he'll make himself your heir. + +TOBY-DOG + +What's that? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Nothing. An Oriental proverb. If I wished, dog, to disturb the silence +of this room I'd be clever enough to choose a rickety chair; its feet +would pound out a regular tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc, in time with my +tongue as I washed myself. It's a means I've invented to gain my +liberty. Tic-toc, tic-toc, says the chair. She happens to be reading or +writing, is easily irritated, and cries, "Be quiet, Kiki!" But I go on +unconscious of any wrong-doing; tic-toc, tic-toc. She jumps up +distracted and opens the door wide for me: slowly, like one exiled, I +cross its threshold and once outside, laugh to find myself so superior +to them all. + +TOBY-DOG, (_who hasn't been listening, yawns_) + +What a sad week, eh? I don't know what it is to take a walk any more. I +haven't taken any pleasure in eating either, since She fell from her +horse. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Heavens, one can love people and care for one's stomach too. + +TOBY-DOG, (_with ardor_) + +Not I! When She screamed and fell from her horse, I felt the heart +crack inside me. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +That affair couldn't have ended otherwise. One doesn't go climbing up on +a horse! People don't do such things! I see nothing but extravagance +around me. To begin with, a horse is a fearful monstrosity. + +TOBY-DOG, (_indignantly_) + +Did one ever hear the like! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_peremptorily_) + +I happen to have had the opportunity of making a very close study of +one.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +He makes me laugh! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... It was the farmer's horse that grazed in the meadow. My life, for a +whole month, was embittered by that roving mountain. Lying under the +hedge, I could see his heavy feet disfiguring the ground. I breathed +his vulgar odor and heard his strident cry shaking the air. Once when he +was eating the lower twigs of the hedge, I saw myself--the whole of +me--reflected in one of his eyes! I fled ... and from that day my hatred +was so strong that I wildly hoped to annihilate the monster. I'll go up +to him, thought I, I'll plant myself firmly in front of him, and the +desire of his death will be so strong in my eyes, that perhaps, he'll +die when he meets my look ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_diverted_) + +And then? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing_) + +I carried out my plan. But the horse I had waited for in fear and +trembling, just blew through his nostrils a long jet of foul-smelling +vapor, and _I_ fell back in atrocious convulsions. + +TOBY-DOG, (_Inwardly writhing with laughter_) + +You don't exaggerate? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_serious_) + +Never! And She must needs go climbing on a horse's back, holding fast to +four cords, one leg this side and the other that. ... Strange +aberration! + +TOBY-DOG + +We don't think alike, Cat. For me, the horse is, after man, the most +beautiful thing in the world. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_vexed_) And where do I come in? + +TOBY-DOG, (_evasive and courteous_) + +Oh, you're a _Cat_. But a horse, and with Her on his back! What a +beautiful picture they make, high up in the blue air! To gaze on it, I +have to throw my head 'way back on my thick neck. The horse lends her +his speed. Now at last, She can race with me when I go off on a mad run. +Sometimes I'm ahead, ears floating back and tongue hanging out like a +little flag--the angular shadow of the horse on the road in front. If I +follow her, a fragrant dust blows back at me. It smells of warm leather, +moist beast, and a little of her own perfume too. The road runs under +me, like a ribbon that someone is pulling. Oh, what joy it is to be so +little and so swift, running along in the shadow of a great galloping +horse! When we halt, I pant like a motor, between the legs of my friend, +who snorts and in the kindliest way puts down his fettered mouth and +sprinkles me ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I know, I know! The horse "with long mane ashake; hoofs, heavy with +tumult; eyes, glimmering white." ...You are the last of the +Romanticists. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm not the last of the Romanticists. I'm a little bull-dog that came +into the world one evening, almost under the feet of a chestnut mare. +She didn't lie down all night long, she was so afraid of crushing my +mother and her puppies. A little bull-dog like me is almost the child of +a horse. I lay in the warm straw against her warm flanks, I drank out of +the stable pails. I used to get up when I heard the sound of hoofs +coming in and I took an interest in the washing of the carriages, until +the day She came and picked me out--_me_, the best-looking, the most +snub-nosed, the stockiest of the litter. (_Sighing_.) And there She +lies, so dreadfully quiet! It makes me sad to see her with that little +cloth still 'round her ankle. You remember when He picked her up in his +arms? He held her--and She's a lot bigger than I am--just as if She were +a little dog that he was going to drown.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_) + +I remember. I was at the top of the stairs irritated by the noise, but +curious. He came up and pushed me aside with his foot, as he would have +done if a piece of furniture had happened to be in his way. + +TOBY-DOG + +Is that why you stayed away from this room--her room--for three whole +days? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_hesitating_) + +Yes ... and for another reason too. + +TOBY-DOG + +What reason? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Because of the fever. + +TOBY-DOG, (_carried away by his love_) + +Her fever smells better than other peoples' good health! +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shrugging his shoulders_) + +And they talk of a dog's scent! Truly the convictions of Two-Paws are +based upon childish fables. You know of course that fever-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_in a low tone_) + +Makes one afraid, yes. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_in a low tone_) + +Makes one afraid, gives one cold shivers down one's back, distaste for +everything and uneasiness all over. One hesitates on the threshold of a +room where there is fever, searching fearfully some hidden thing.... She +was in bed and burning hot. I looked at her a long time, ready to run, +saying to myself: "Who can be with her there--behind the curtains--who +is it stifles and torments her and makes her moan in her sleep?" +TOBY-DOG, (_frightened retrospectively_) + +There wasn't anyone, was there? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No one but He--and the fever. He, the most intelligent of Two-Paws, was +leaning over her listening to her breathing, dimly aware of an invisible +presence. I overcame my aversion and looked at her. I was melancholy and +jealous. He must love her, thought I, to go so near and defend her, to +kiss her, imbued as She is with the evil charm. Would He hold me to his +heart, if I-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_imperatively_) + +'Sh! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +What? + +TOBY-DOG + +She stirred. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. + +TOBY-DOG, (_alert, looking at her_) + +No ... She didn't stir, but her thoughts did. I felt them. Continue. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_who has recovered his equanimity_) + +I don't know now what we were talking about. + +TOBY-DOG + +The fev-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_quickly_) + +Enough. Don't recall it. Fever is the beginning of the thing one never +speaks of. + +TOBY-DOG, (_shivering_) + +Yes, I know.... I don't like an animal that can't move. You know what I +mean ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_laughing cruelly_) + +Nor do I. I can only eat live birds, and as for the tiny mice, I prefer +to swallow them, squeak and all.... + +TOBY-DOG + +Why does it amuse you to horrify me? You've a certain vanity that I +can't understand. It consists in exaggerating cruelties that are already +real enough. You call me the last of the Romanticists, aren't you the +first of the Sadics? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Oh dog, poisoned with literature! An eternal misunderstanding separates +us. "I'm a little bull-dog," you replied just now, with that stupid +sincerity which disarms me. Let me say to you in my turn, "I am a Cat." +The name is sufficient dispensation. There is in me a hatred of pain and +ugliness, an overmastering detestation of all that offends my sight, or +my reason. When the concierge's cat dragged around his wounded paw, I +threw myself upon him, fired by a righteous anger, and until he stopped +his whining I-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_supplicatingly_) + +Don't tell me! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_getting angry_) Understand then, once and for +all--if the pale recital of what I did upsets you--that I wished to +abolish, to annihilate in that bleeding animal the suggestion of my own +inevitable death ... + +(_They are quiet for a little while_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shuddering_) + +This confinement does us no good. I would gladly go out into the soft +sunshine and do "the bayadeer's dance," as He calls it, on the dry +gravel among the leaves, which look like fried potatoes. Everything is +yellow out-of-doors. My green eyes would reflect the golden sun and the +flaming woods and so turn yellow too.... Now I'll think only of what is +joyous and yellow, the beautiful, cold Autumn, the rosy dawn that leaves +its colors in the foliage of the cherry-tree ... Come, let's prove the +strength of our legs and enjoy to the full the consciousness that youth +has only just begun for us ... Who knows, death may never come ... + +(_He jumps down from the console-table, without making the least +noise_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_stopping him_) + +What are you going to do? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Scratch at the door, and strike up the "Hymn of the Sequestered Cat." + +TOBY-DOG, (_indicating the figure on the couch_) + +And doubtless waken Her? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stubbornly_) + +I'll sing in a very small voice. + +TOBY-DOG + +And you'll scratch with your tiniest claws, I suppose? Stay here +quietly, He commanded it when He went away. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_loftily_) + +Does He command me? He beseeches me, and that's my only reason for +obeying him. + +(_He sits down again, apparently resigned, and yawns slowly_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_yawning_) + +You make me yawn. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +On the contrary, it's you who bore me. (_Temptingly_.) You're thinking +what a good thing freedom is, aren't you?... A hen has probably escaped +from the chicken yard--what sport you're missing! + +TOBY-DOG + +You really think so? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I said: probably.... Have you finished exploring that rabbit's hole? + +TOBY-DOG, (_disturbed_) + +No ... it's so very deep! I almost buried myself, hollowing it out +yesterday. The earth that stuck to my muzzle had some of the animal's +fur in it.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_more and more satanic_) + +I suppose you'll finish that to-morrow ... or some other day. TOBY-DOG, +(_sadly_) + +Why not say next year, while you're about it? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +What's the matter with you? Your shiny black lip hangs down an ell, and +your froggy eyes glitter with tears. Are you crying? + +TOBY-DOG, (_sniffling_) + +No ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Poor, sensitive heart, console yourself. You'll have your pleasures and +your friends again. At this very moment the farmer's dog is crunching +bones in the kitchen ... to beguile the long wait for you. + +TOBY-DOG, (_overcome_) + +Oh! oh! the farmer's dog! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +She's not alone either; that great dane, the watch-dog, keeps her +company. + +TOBY-DOG, (_rebellious_) + +That's not true! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Go see. + +TOBY-DOG, (_after one bound toward the door_) No, that would make +noise. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +You're right, it would. + +(_A mournful silence follows_. TOBY _curls himself up like a turban and +closes his eyes, because he feels like crying. His breath comes in +little sobs_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_absently, in a low, monotonous chant_.) + +The dog ... the little dog ... the bones, the little dog ... the rabbit +... the great dane, the rabbit's hole ...the little dog, the mutton +bones ...the rabbit's skin ... + +TOBY-DOG, _at first endures the torture heroically; then his nerves +betray him and lifting his head he howls--the long plaint of the +abandoned dog_. + +Wooo--oo--oooooo! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the top of the console-table_) + +Will you be quiet! + +TOBY-DOG + +Wooooooooo!!--oo--oooo--oo! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_aside_) + +That's it! That's it! + +(SHE _wakes bewildered, still captive of her dreams, while the Cat +listens patiently to the approaching step on the stairs, which means +liberty for him and punishment for_ TOBY-DOG.) + + + +THE FIRST FIRE + + +_Because it is raining and an October wind chases wet leaves through the +air, She has lit the first fire of the season in the great +chimney-place_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG, _in ecstasy, side by +side on a corner of the warm hearth-stone, contemplate the flame with +dazzled eyes and address their meditations to it_. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_looking very like a cushion; no paws visible_) + +Oh Fire, how splendid you are! You have come back more beautiful than my +memory of you! You are hotter and nearer than the sun! The pupils of my +eyes contract in your light, their lids half close, modestly hiding the +joy I feel at seeing you again, and my inscrutable countenance shows but +the semblance of a thought painted there in fawn color and black.... +Your crackling drowns the soft sound of my purr. Don't snap too much. Be +merciful, O inconstant Fire! Don't sputter sparks on my fur. Allow me to +adore you without fear ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_half baked; eyes blood-shot; tongue pendant_) + +Fire! Divine Fire! Here you are again! I am still very young, but I +remember how awe-struck I was the first time Her hand woke you in this +same chimney-place. The sight of a god as mysterious as you are was most +impressive to a baby-dog just out of the maternal stable. Oh Fire, I've +not quite gotten over my fear! Hiii!... You spit at me, something red +that smarts ... I'm afraid ... Well, it's gone now. How beautiful you +are, Fire! Out from your ruddy center shoot tatters and shreds of gold, +sudden spurts of blue, and smoke that twists upwards and draws queer +shapes of beasts ... Oh, but I'm hot! Gently, gently, sovereign Fire, +see how my truffle of a nose is drying up and cracking, and my ears--are +they not ablaze? I adjure thee with suppliant paw. I groan ... ah ... I +can endure it no longer!... (_He turns away_.) Nothing is ever perfect. +The east wind coming under the door nips my hind-legs. Well, it can't be +helped! I'll freeze behind if I must, provided I can adore you face to +face. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I am a Cat and therefore aware of all that you bring in your train, O +Fire! I foresee winter; its coming both troubles and pleases me. I've +already begun to thicken and embellish my fur-coat in its honor, the +darker stripes are becoming black, my white tippet swells into a +dazzling boa, and the fur on my belly surpasses in beauty anything that +has ever been seen. What shall I say of my tail, broad as a club, with +alternate rings of fawn-color and black, or of the sensitive, priceless +aigrettes which spring from my ears? My ear-rings She calls them.... +What cat could resist me! Ah! the January nights, the serenades under a +frosty moon, the dignified wait on the pinnacle of a roof, the encounter +with a rival cat on the narrow top of a wall!... But I feel quite sure +of my superior strength. I'll swish my tail, put back my ears, sniff +tragically as one does before vomiting, and then lift up my voice--its +modulations are infinite. I'll make it strong enough to waken all the +sleeping Two-Paws. I'll vociferate, I'll whimper, pacing up and down the +garden, my body distended, my legs bent outward, feigning madness to +terrify the tom-cats! + +TOBY-DOG + +I know something of the changes and pleasures you foretell, Fire--for +I'm a Dog. Already, it is raining in the garden. I suppose it's raining +on the road too, and in the woods. The falling drops are not warm, as +they were in the summer storms when my truffle, gray with dust, +delighted in the damp smell that came from the west. The sky is troubled +and the wind has grown strong enough to blow my ears out straight, like +little flags. A sharp cry, such as I make when I beg, comes under the +door. You'll be shining here every day, Fire; but I'll have to suffer +for the right to worship you. For She'll continue to wander about, her +head covered with the pointed hood which changes her so, that it +frightens me. She'll put on wooden shoes too, and carelessly crush the +puddles, the little heaps of mud, and the weeping mosses. I'll follow +her, since I've promised to do so my life long (and also because I +can't help it), I'll follow her, a forlorn and piteous object, shining +wet, my belly covered with mud, until, through very excess of misery +I'll forget, and ramble in the coppice, interested in every undulation +of the grass, eager to revive the drowned scents in it.... She'll become +communicative when she sees me hurrying along and we'll talk: "Ha, +Toby-Dog," she'll say, "ha! ha! a bird! There on the branch! Look! you +booby! Now he's gone." She'll condole with me then, until I'm on the +verge of tears. "Oh, my little black boy, my sympathetic cylinder, my +batrachian love, how cold you are, how wet, how sad, how you suffer, +oooo!" And before I'm able to judge of the sincerity of her pity, the +tears will overflow, my throat contract, and we'll wail in unison.... + +Ah, but what delirious joy when the capricious wooden shoes turn again +toward the house, hurrying to rejoin Him whom we've left scratching +paper! They don't go half fast enough for me then! I jump 'round her, +barking with delight to see the hill diminishing, our climb at an end, +to smell the good stable smell and that of burning wood as we near the +house. At last you shine forth, O Fire, O Sun, through the misty window +pane!... I shall hardly have crossed the threshold when an overpowering +sleepiness will dash me to the floor in front of you--you, who will +reduce the mud on my belly to fine powder and change the water of the +roads to smoky vapor. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE A delightful glow penetrates my coat to the silky +down, the impalpable colorless threads which protect my delicate skin. I +feel myself swelling like a cloud. I must quite fill the room. My +whiskers seem charged with electricity--a sign that I will sleep--but +for the time being, the contemplation of your splendor and thoughts of +the coming season keep me awake. It's raining. I shall not go out. I'll +wait for the sun, or the dry wind, or better still, the frost. Ah, how +the biting cold stimulates me! It lashes my lungs with handfuls of +needles, and makes a _bonbon glacé_ of my charming nose. The rollicking +frost-sprite will blow his madness into me. She'll laugh and He too, +leaving his scratching-paper, to see me vie with the leaves in bounds, +leaps and wild whirlings, resembling a floating flurry of gray smoke +rather than a Cat. To the top of a tree! Down again! Then seven turns +after my tail! A perilous backward leap! A vertical jump, with aerial +_danse du ventre_! Girations, sneezes, careering from the real to the +dream, until in terror of myself, I come to a sudden stop.... Everything +turns before my eyes. I'm the center of a strange, spinning world ... In +my bewilderment (half-feigned) I'll make a little moo, like a cow, which +will bring them both running to me,--She laughing, and He fearing +something wrong. That will suffice to sober me, and with a bold front +and noble mien, I'll regain this cushion near your altar, O Fire! + +TOBY-DOG + +This hearth-stone burns the horny pads of my feet. What shall I do? +Move away? never! I'll toast to death rather than give up this +redoubtable bliss. Heaven prevent Her coming, now! I've reason to fear +the lash of the whip, and the magic words which mean exile: "Toby! +that's stupid! I forbid you to roast yourself. You'll have sore eyes, +and catch cold when you go out." That's what She says, while I regard +her with a stupid look of utter devotion. But She's never duped by it. I +hear noises upstairs, her step coming and going ... I wonder is her +vagabond fancy wearied at last? This morning She whistled to me and in +my haste to obey her, I rolled to the bottom of the stairs--being low +and thick-set, with short legs, no nose, and almost no tail to balance +me. Well, we set off. The last apples were rocking to-and-fro on swaying +branches. My happy voice, a joyful shout from her now and then, the vain +crowing of the cocks, the creaking of wagons on the road--all these +sounds floated on a bluish, cottony, suffocating fog. She took me far, +and many marvelous things happened on our way. We met terrible giant +dogs. My proud bearing seemed to exasperate them, but I kept them back +with a single look (besides, a closed iron gate rendered them +powerless). I chased a rabbit into the thicket, though She cried loudly: +"I forbid you to touch the little animal!" ... My mother certainly gave +me swift legs but they're short, and the white end of the little beast +kept far ahead. A bush covered with red berries detained us a very long +time. She sees no objection to eating strange things and I can +truthfully say that I always taste everything She offers me, for I've +great faith in her. But this morning--"Eat, Toby, nice berries. Eat! +here are some rose-hips. Oh stupid! how can you not dote upon their +delicious flavor? I assure you these are comfits of Mother Nature's +making." In deference to her, I chewed a reddish ball; there were some +rough hairs on it--put there doubtless by her teasing hand--and what was +bound to happen, did happen ... Khaha! My throat rejected the nasty +"rosehip." ... + +But listen, Fire, what I saw after that, passes _my_ understanding. It +was in a wood where stiff leaves rustled. Had She carried you under her +cloak, or do gods like you come at her bidding? I saw her hands pile up +the wood, arrange flat stones in some mysterious fashion, and then, +Fire, I saw the sparks flash and your joyous soul palpitate, grow big, +soar naked and rose-colored, veil itself in smoke, snap noisily (for +yours is a belligerent soul), agonize--and disappear.... The world is +full of incomprehensible things.... Last of all, on our way back, I +discovered near the park gate--saw it before She did--one of those +invincible beasts called hedge-hogs, the mere sight of which brings us +dogs to bay. What madness to realize that an animal is hiding under that +pin-cushion and laughing at me, and that I can do nothing, _nothing_! I +implored her--She can do nearly everything--to pluck him for me. She +began by turning him over with a little stick, as if he were a horse +chestnut. "Astonishing," said She, "I can't find the top of him!" Then +She took one of his spines between two fingers and carried him home that +way--I dancing behind her--and put him in her work basket. After a while +the horrid beast unrolled himself, stuck out a pig-like nose, opened two +shiny rat's eyes and raised himself, holding fast by his little paws, +which were exactly like a mole's. "How pretty he is," She cried, "a real +little black pig." I stood near the table groaning with covetousness, +but She didn't pluck him for me, not then, or ever, and perhaps the cook +ate him.... This cat's a dissembler. Maybe _he_ ... But away with care! +I'm too excitable! I mustn't let myself think of these things. Life is +beautiful, O Fire, since you illumine it ... I'm going to sleep ... +Watch over my unconscious body ... I'm going ... to sleep.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +One would think me asleep because the narrow slit made by my parted +eyelids, seems but the continuation of that velvety line, that bold +crayon-stroke, a sort of Oriental make-up, uniting my eyelids and my +ears. But I'm awake, keeping watch like a yogi, in a state of blissful +ankylosis, conscious of all that's going on around me.... My privileged +eyes, Fire, do but behold you better when they're closed and I can count +the various essences you mingle in a sparkling bouquet. Here in a flame +of mauve-color and blue, glows the soul of a branch of arbor-vitae. +Yesterday it waved a plume-like shadow on the garden walk ... To-day, +with its delicate twigs, it is but a writhing skeleton. She cut it with +one stroke of the pruning scissors. Why? That it might breathe out its +fervent blue and mauve-colored soul? For like me, She delights in your +dance, Fire, and chastises you when you're quiet, with a stern pair of +tongs. Sitting there with her head bent and her arms hanging along her +sides, what does She read, I wonder, in that fiery rose which is the +labyrinthian heart of you?... She knows a great deal certainly, but not +as much as a Cat. + +That thick tear on the log represents the anguish of a very old +fir-tree, killed by the assiduous ivy. Just a short time ago I saw it +struck down, lying on the grass, its foliage looking like a beautiful +head of reddish hair. I saw the axe that felled it, too. Its trunk weeps +tears of resin, which trail along in drivel, then change to heavy, +creeping flame. But the dry red locks break into lines of living fire, +whistle and shoot innumerable jets of many colors underneath a broad +gold wave that rolls voluptuously.... + +Ah, love ... hunting ... fighting.... It's your light, Fire, that +discovers these passions in the depths of my being. It's time the little +winged creatures searching withered berries came near. I'll have them +soon! I'll watch, motionless in the brushwood, wildly wishing that the +earth itself might hide me, the muscles of my legs twitching with desire +to make the spring, my chin trembling.... Then, if I don't betray my +hiding-place by an irrepressible quavering, frightening them away in one +great commotion of wings and rustling branches!... But no, I'm master of +myself. One bound at exactly the right moment and my feeble prey is +panting under me. Oh, the ridiculous effort of a weak animal--its tiny +ineffectual claws and pointed wings beating against my face! My jaws +will open to the splitting point and my perfect nose wrinkle +ferociously, for the joy of holding a living, terrified body. I'll know +the intoxication of battle! I'll prance victoriously, shaking my head to +torment the bird a little, for it faints away too soon between my teeth! +Terrible to see I'll gallop towards the house, singing in a strangled +voice, without loosening my grip, for He must stop his scratching to +admire me, and She must give chase with distracted cries: "Wicked, +savage cat! Drop that bird! drop that bird!! Oh, I beg of you! It hurts +me so...." Ha! She never can have hunted.... + +I intend to astonish the world, Fire, during Winter's reign. The Cat +that lives at the farm (She says the farmer's cat, while we say the +Cat's farmer), the fellow that's so badly dressed, disfigured by the +nose of a weasel, and seems to walk on stilts, his legs are so +long--well, he sharpens his claws and regards me the while. Patience! +He's strong, brutal, irresolute, and utterly lacks distinction. The +slamming of a door terrifies him; he puts back his ears and flies, +panic-stricken. Still, I've seen him kill a good-sized hen, without +making any fuss about it. For a glance of the young cat's deceitful +eyes, or right of precedence on the garden wall, for a word of double +meaning, for nothing, but the fun of the thing--I'll take my chances +with him! He'll learn that a mysterious silence can demoralize the enemy +quite as effectively as murderous cries. The low garden wall seems to me +a convenient place. Let him try his hoarse miauling in all possible +keys! May his unsightly face, and more hideous body dislocate itself in +a deceitful ataxia (for they're still at these old tricks)! I'll be +proof against it all, and merely flash the green magnetism of my +magnificent eyes upon him. His brows will fall under their persistent +insult, a shudder will run along his spine, he'll do a few steps of our +ancient war dance--forward, back, forward again. But I'll +stand--motionless as the statue of a Cat. The green witchcraft of my +gaze will strike terror and madness into my rival and soon I'll see him +writhe, utter false cries, and, as a last resource, try to balance +himself on the nape of his neck, like a forked pear tree, only to roll +over shamefully into the potato field.... + +All that will come to pass, Fire, exactly as I've told it. To-day the +future dawns in your new flame.... I'm growing drowsy.... My purr and +your crackling are ceasing together.... I see you still and already I +catch glimpses of my dreams.... The silky sound of the rain against the +window is soft as a caress, and the water-pipe on the roof sobs low like +a pigeon.... + +Don't go out during my nap, Fire. Remember, you're the guardian of my +august repose--that delicate death, known as a Cat's sleep.... + + + +THE STORM + + +_A suffocating summer's day in the country. The blinds of the house are +half closed. Not a sound is heard from within; not a murmur from the +parched garden, where even the sensitive leaves of the mimosa hang +motionless_. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG _begin to feel uncomfortably conscious of +the coming storm, which is yet but a slate-blue plinth thickly painted +at the bottom of the dull blue sky-wall._ + +TOBY-DOG, (_restlessly lying first on one side, then on the other_) No +use! I can't be comfortable. What does this heat mean anyway? I must be +sick. It began at breakfast; I didn't like the meat and sniffed +disdainfully at my dog-biscuit. Something awful is going to happen. I +haven't done anything wrong that I know of--my conscience is clear--and +yet, I'm suffering. There lies my chum, shivering and unable to sleep. I +know by his quick breathing that he feels just as I do.... I say, Cat? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_irritably, in a low tone_) + +Be quiet! + +TOBY-DOG + +What? You're listening to some noise? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No! _Heavens_, no! Don't mention noise. The mere sound of your voice +makes the skin on my back go in waves like the sea. TOBY-DOG, +(_frightened_) + +Are you going to die? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I hope not. I've a sick headache. Can't you see the arteries throbbing +under the almost hairless skin of my temples--the transparent, bluish +skin that denotes a thoroughbred? It's atrocious! The veins on my +forehead are like writhing vipers, and I don't know _what_ gnome forges +in my brain! Oh, be quiet! Or at least speak so low that the coursing +of my agitated blood may drown the sound of your voice.... + +TOBY-DOG + +But it's this very silence that oppresses me. I tremble and don't know +why. I long for the familiar voice of the wind in the chimney, the +slamming of doors, the whispering of the garden, the poplars' ceaseless +rustle--it always sounds like a trickling spring-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +The uproar will come, soon enough. + +TOBY-DOG Do you think so? I wish He'd scratch paper. It's an idle +habit but an honored one. And see how listless She is, there in her +wicker chair. Their silence frightens me more than anything. She seems +asleep, but I can see her eyelashes move and the tips of her fingers, +too. She's forgetting to play with the little balls of thread and +doesn't sing, or whistle. She suffers just as we do.... Do you think +this can be the end of the world, Cat? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. It's a storm. Heavens! how uncomfortable I am! If I could only get +out of my skin, cast off this fleece which is smothering me, fling +myself naked as a skinned mouse into a fresher atmosphere! Oh Dog, you +cannot see the sparks that make every separate hair on my body crackle, +but I feel them. Don't come near! A blue flame is going to shoot out of +me.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_shuddering_) + +Things are coming to an awful pass! (_He drags himself to the porch_.) +_What_ have they done to the out-of-doors? Look! the trees are all blue +and the grass glistens like a sheet of water. What mournful sunlight! It +shines white on the slate roofs, and the little houses over there on the +hill look like brand new tombstones. A heavy odor, like bitter almond, +creeps from the white bell-shaped blossoms of the daturas, and makes me +feel sick and faint. Far away, some smoke, heavy as the perfume of the +daturas, goes slowly up in a straight line and falls again--like a +broken aigrette.... But come and see for yourself! + +(KIKI-THE-DEMURE _walks falteringly to the porch_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +My word, _you're_ changed too, Cat! You look as if you were starving, +your face is so drawn. Your fur is plastered down in some places and +sticking up in others; gives you the expression of a weasel that had +tumbled into oil. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Don't let that worry you! I'll regain my dignity--if ever another day +dawns for us. To-day, I drag myself around unwashed, uncombed, like a +woman out of love with love, and life.... + +TOBY-DOG + +You say such distressing things. I think I'll whine and call for help. +Perhaps I'd better go to Her, and look in her face for the comfort you +refuse me. But She seems asleep now, in that wicker chair, and how can I +read my fate in her eyes, when their lids are down. I'll lick her hand +very respectfully and ever so lightly! That will wake her and oh, may +her first caress drive away the evil charm! + +(_He licks the hand hanging at the side of the chair_.) + +SHE, (_with a scream_) Heavens! how you frightened me! Was there ever +such a ninny as this Dog? There!... + +(SHE _administers a smart rap on the nose_. TOBY'S _nerves give way and +he howls loud and long_.) + +SHE + +Quiet! Not a word I say! Out of my sight! I don't know what's the +matter, but I hate you! And that Cat sitting there, looking at me, like +a bump on a log!... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bristling_) + +If She dares to touch me, I'll devour her! + +(_Just at this dangerous crisis a low rumbling is heard, distant and +then near. Impossible to tell whether it comes from the horizon, or +arises in the house itself. All three lose interest in the quarrel_. + +TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _slink away, as if responding to a +signal, and seek shelter, one under the bookcase and the other under an +armchair_. SHE _turns anxiously to the leaden-hued garden, and the great +violet bank of cloud, which of a sudden is riven by a blinding streak of +blue fire_.) + +SHE, TOBY-DOG, KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_all together_) + +Oh! + +(_A sudden crash shakes the windows, and instantly a great rush of wind +envelopes the house, with a noise as of flapping canvas:--all the garden +prostrates itself_.) + +SHE, (_in anguish_) + +Heavens! the apples! + +TOBY-DOG, (_invisible_) + +I'll let them cut my ears into strips rather than leave this +hiding-place! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_invisible_) + +I can't help hearing, and it's as if I saw everything that's going on. +She hastens to close the windows. Someone is running on the stairs. Aïe! +Another awful flame--and everything is falling in! Silence now.... I +wonder are they all dead? I'll look through the fringes of the chair, +though it's risking my life to do so. Ah, hailstones making holes in +the leaves! Here comes the rain, in silvery drops, wide apart, and so +heavy that the gravel wrinkles up when they fall. + +SHE, (_heart-broken_) + +I can hear the peaches falling, and the green nuts too! + +(_All three are silent. Rain; quivering streaks of lightning; hissing in +the pine-trees. The wind howls. A lull_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm not quite so afraid as I was. The sound of the rain relaxes my tired +nerves. I seem to feel its streaming warmth on my ears and the back of +my neck. Now the hubbub is further off! I can hear myself breathe. The +light coming under this bookcase, is brighter than it was. What is She +doing? I daren't go out yet. If only the Cat would move! (_He sticks +out his head, like a wary turtle. A flash of lightning makes him draw it +back again_.) Ha! It's beginning all over again. Rain by the bucketfuls +against the window-panes. Something in the chimney is trying to imitate +that far-away rumbling. Everything's falling to pieces ... and _She_ +gave me a rap on the nose! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Drop by drop, a little brownish river is filtering under the loose +window-sash. It's stretching out and out on the floor, winding its way +over to me. I'm so hot and thirsty, I'd like to lap up some of it. My +joints ache and my ears are tired of standing up like weather-cocks at +every crash. My jaws are still clenched with nervous fear. The seat of +this chair is too low; it annoys me, rubbing against the fur on my back. +However, it's some comfort to be able to _think_ of such things--thanks +to the peace that's descended on the house. The rain is falling quietly +and the wind has gone down, but the memory of the din still hums in my +ears. What can He be doing? The storm distresses him too. Why didn't He +come forward to calm the raging elements? There She is, opening the +porch door. Isn't it too soon?... No, for the hens are cackling like old +maids as they hop over the puddles. We're going to have fine weather. +Oh, the adorable smell of wet leaves and earth refreshed! It's so new, +so pure, I seem to breathe for the first time! + +(_He creeps stealthily to the porch_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_suddenly_) + +Um! How good! That smells like a walk! Things change so quickly one +hasn't time to think. She's opened the door? Let's run! (_He dashes +out_.) Well! well! the garden has got back its own color again! A +warmish vapor moistens my rough-grained nose. I'm filled with the desire +to jump and run. The grass is reeking, shining wet. Horned snails are +feeling around in the pink gravel with the tips of their eyes, and +speckled black and white slugs embroider the wall with a silver ribbon. +Oh! what a beautiful green and gold beastie running out there in the +wet! Shall I catch it? Shall I scratch its metallic shell, until it +breaks with a little crackling sound? No. I'd rather stay near Her. +She's leaning against the door, taking deep breaths and smiling quietly +to herself. I'm _so_ happy! Something inside me feels grateful to the +whole world. The light is beautiful, and I'm quite sure that there'll +never, never be another storm. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I shan't wait any longer; I'm going out. I'll find dry places between +the puddles for my dainty paws to step on. An imperceptible thrill runs +through the streaming garden, making the jewels hung all about, tremble +and sparkle.... The slanting rays of the setting sun find their +reflection in my eyes which are spangled with green and gold. Down near +the horizon, where the sky is still unsettled, a glittering sword leaps +up and puts to flight the dark, fuming cloud-horses, that have been +galloping over our heads. Now the odor of the daturas rises and perfumes +all the air, mingled with that of lemon leaves, bruised by the hail. +The roses are crowned with midges. Oh sudden springtime! An involuntary +smile stretches the corners of my mouth. I'm going to play at tickling +my nostrils with the point of a sweet-smelling blade of grass, carefully +stretching my neck to avoid the falling drops. But I want Him to follow +and admire me. Will He not come out and enjoy himself with us? + +(_A voice is heard humming the motif of the_ Regensbogen: _sol, si, re, +sol, la, si,--all flats. A door opens and closes again_. HE _appears +under the dripping foliage of vines and jasmine, framing the veranda, +and at the same moment, a rainbow is seen in the sky_.) + + + + +A CALLER + + +(_A winter's afternoon, in Paris. The studio; a fire crackles gently in +the tower-shaped stove_. TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _one on the +floor, the other on his own particular cushion, proceed with the minute +toilet which follows a long siesta. Peace reigns_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +My nails grow faster here than in the country. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +It's the contrary, with mine. + +TOBY-DOG + +Really! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_) + +Not to be wondered at! She clips them for the sake of the hangings ... +Well! (_Magniloquently_), what can't be cured must be endured. + +TOBY-DOG + +What are you going to do to-day? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Why ... nothing. + +TOBY-DOG, (_ironically_) + +For a change I suppose. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE Pardon, to _avoid_ change. What is this rage for change +that takes possession of you all? Change means destruction. Only that +which remains stationary is eternal. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm eternal then, these three hours past. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +But you've been out with Her, haven't you? You came in like a whirlwind; +bells rang, clothes were shaken out, you were sneezing and laughing and +aureoled with icy air.... The end of her nose felt so cold when She +kissed me on the forehead. She always kisses me there, just over the +dark stripes forming the classic M, which She assures me stands for +miaou and for Minet, my name in French. + +TOBY-DOG + +Yes ... we had a fine run on the banks of the fortifications, and then +we went into a shop. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Is that amusing? + +TOBY-DOG Not often. There are a great many people crowded together. +I'm immediately seized with the fear of losing Her, and I stick close to +her heels, no matter what comes. Strange feet push and knock me about +and step on my paws. I yelp but the skirts all around stifle my +voice.... When we're out of it, we both look as if we'd been +shipwrecked.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +May the gods preserve _me_ from anything of the sort! Here, the moments +have glided peacefully by. When She's not in this house, there's +nothing to hinder me; I employ the time as my system of hygiene +dictates. After my breakfast of rosy liver and milk, my kittenhood seems +to come back to me; I'm filled with a foolish gayety. I go over to him. +He's rumpling big, blackish papers and welcomes me with a quiet smile; +we loll on the same divan, and revel in a few idle moments together. +Sometimes, with imperious paw, I tear the paper He holds like a screen +between us. It always seems to me the most desirable--the one that +crackles best. He cries out, and I throw myself on my back and wriggle +with joy in a sort of horizontal dance, He calls "the dance of the +bayadeer." Then somehow, everything dwindles before my eyes, grows dim, +and far away; I want to rise and go back to my cushion, but dreams +already separate me from the world ... Ah! blessed hour when you and She +disappear, when the house is at rest and takes a long breath. Soon I'm +in the depths of a dark, sweet sleep; my ears alone keep watch and turn +like sensitive antennas towards vague sounds of doors and bells ... + +(_At this moment someone rings_. TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _start +and change their positions. The Cat, sitting, encircles himself with his +fluffy tail. The Dog, in a sphinx-like attitude, lifts his head +boldly_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +What's that? + +TOBY-DOG + +A tradesman? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shrugging his shoulders_) + +That's not the kitchen bell. Perhaps it's caller. + +TOBY-DOG, (_with a bound_) + +What luck! They'll have tea and cakes! Come on!! Sugar, sugar! Little +cakes! Little cakes!! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_gloomily_) + +To see ladies who shriek, and put gloved hands on my back--hands covered +with dead skin?... ugh! + +(_Feminine voices are heard--Hers among them--and the clear tinkling of +a little bell; then the door opens and a very diminutive toy terrier +enters, alone. She's black and tan, seems in love with herself, and +comes forward with a mincing step_.) + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_voice way up in her head_) + +I'm the darling little dog, so pretty! + +(TOBY _is struck dumb with admiration and astonishment_. KIKI, +_indignant, has jumped on top of the piano and remains an unseen and +hostile spectator_.) + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_astonished at not hearing the chorus of admiration +that everywhere greets her, is reciting_--) + +I'm the darling little dog, so pretty! I weigh only one pound, eleven +ounces, my collar is of gold, my ears of black satin, lined with shiny +rubber, my nails are polished like the beaks of little birds. (_Catching +sight of_ TOBY-DOG.) Oh!--someone--(_silence_). He's rather +good-looking. + +(_They ogle and strut_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +How tiny she is! + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Sir--don't come near me. + +TOBY-DOG + +Why not? + +THE LITTLE DOG + +I don't know. My mistress knows. She's not here. She stayed in the other +room. + +TOBY-DOG + +How old are you? + +THE LITTLE DOG Eleven months, (_reciting_) I'm eleven months old. At +the dog show, my mother took first prize for beauty. I weigh only one +pound eleven ounces and-- + +TOBY-DOG + +You've said that already. What makes you so little? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the piano_) + +She's ugly, and has an evil odor. Her paws are deformed, she can't stand +still an instant, and this dog takes pains to make himself fascinating! + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_very coquettish and talkative_) It's my lineage, of +course. One can hold me in a muff. You've seen my new collar? It's +gold.... + +TOBY-DOG + +And what's that hanging from it? + +THE LITTLE DOG + +My mother's medal, Sir. I always wear it. I come from the _Palais de +Glace_, where I made quite a hit. Imagine! I wanted to bite a gentleman +who was speaking to my mistress. _How_ they laughed! + +(_She wriggles and chirps_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +What an odd creature! Is she _really_ a dog? (_Sniffs_.) Yes ... smells +of rice powder, but it's a dog just the same. (_Aloud_.) Sit down a +moment, it makes me quite dizzy to see you moving about so. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Certainly. (_She lies down, like a miniature greyhound, crossing her +fore-paws to show the slimness of her toes_.) You were here all alone? + +TOBY-DOG, (_looking toward the piano_) + +Yes, no other dog. Why? + +THE LITTLE DOG + +There's a strange odor. + +TOBY-DOG + +The Cat, doubtless. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +The Cat? What's a Cat? I've never seen one. Do they leave you in the +room all alone? + +TOBY-DOG + +It happens so now and then. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +And you don't bark? _I_ cry as soon as I'm left alone. I'm bored, +afraid, feel sick, and chew up the cushions. + +TOBY-DOG + +And then you're whipped. + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_insulted_) + +I'm--what did you say? You're losing your senses, I imagine. (_Suddenly +amiable again_.) That would be a pity. You have lovely eyes. + +TOBY-DOG + +Haven't I? They show well, don't they? They're large, and then they +stick out. She says I have eyes like a lobster's, and sometimes She says +"his beautiful seal's eyes, his frog-like eyes of gold." + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Who's She? + +TOBY-DOG, (_simple_) + +She. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +I don't understand all you say, but I find you so _very_ sympathetic! +What are you doing this evening? + +TOBY-DOG + +Why ... I dine. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Naturally! I wanted to know whether they receive here this evening, or +do _you_ go out? + +TOBY-DOG + +No, I've been out already. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Driving? + +TOBY-DOG + +Walking--of course. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Why, of course? I hardly stir except in a carriage. Show me the +underside of your paws. Horrors! One would say 'twas the stone they +sharpen knives on! Look at mine. Satin on top, velvet underneath. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'd like to see you in the country, on the cobble-stones. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +I've been there, Sir. I was in the country last summer and there weren't +any cobble-stones. + +TOBY-DOG + +Then it wasn't the country. You don't know what country means. + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_vexed_) + +Indeed I do, Sir! It's fine sand, and velvety lawns that are swept every +morning; it's a reclining chair on the grass, great, fresh cushions of +cretonne, foamy milk, naps in the shade, and charming little red apples +to play with. + +TOBY-DOG, (_shaking his head_) + +No. It's the road covered with white powder that makes the eyelids smart +and the paws burn, the tough, shriveled, sweet-smelling grass, where I +scratch my nose and my gums; it's the fearful night--for I'm the only +one to guard them, He and She. I lie in my basket, but the beating of my +poor overdriven heart keeps me awake. I hear a dog crying to me from far +off, that the Bad Man has passed on the road. Is he coming in my +direction? Will I be obliged in another minute, my eyes bloodshot and +tongue dry as chalk, to throw myself upon him and devour his shadowy +face?... + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_trembling and in ecstasy_) + +Go on! Go on! Oh! how frightened I am!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_modestly_) Don't be afraid--it has never happened. All +that is the country, yes, and the interminable hill, in the shadow of +the carriage, when thirst, hunger, heat and fatigue, render the soul +submissive and hopeless ... + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_quite worked up_) + +And then? + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, nothing. One arrives at the house, after all, and the pail of dark +water, one drinks without taking breath, ("his tongue," She says, "his +big tongue is parted in the center, like an iris-petal") while sore +eyelids and dusty lashes are splashed with cooling drops.... The country +is all that and many things besides.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_on the piano, musingly_) + +All that, yes ...and the habits of the year before that one finds again, +molded to one's shape, like a cushion marked with the imprint of a long +sleep ...the long nights of freedom, when the lone owlet, with his sad +little laugh, makes his way through the air as quietly as I do on the +ground, and silvery gray rats cling to the vines, eating grapes and +keeping their eyes on me at the same time. It's the sun-cure on the hot +stone-wall, from which I arise wan and shrunken, baked through and +through, but svelte enough to make the youngest tomcat envious. (_Coming +back to the present with a murderous look at_ THE LITTLE DOG.) Death to +you, ill-smelling beast, for having evoked these by-gone joys! Aren't +you going to disappear, that I may come down from this cold pedestal, +where my paws are growing numb? + +TOBY-DOG, (_enthusiastically to_ THE LITTLE DOG) + +But let us forget all that! With you there, I can think of nothing but +you. I feel that I love you! + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_lowering her eyes_) + +Do you mean ...really? + +TOBY-DOG + +Of course I do! + +THE LITTLE DOG + +So soon! + +TOBY-DOG + +We've already wasted a great deal of time. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +But ... we've been chatting. I've enjoyed it very much ... and I fail to +understand why the society of young dogs like you, is forbidden me ... + +TOBY-DOG + +Allow me to make love to you. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +What's that? + +TOBY-DOG + +I'll show you. First I hold myself very erect, stiffen my legs, walk +'round you, barking low and melodiously. My tail wriggles, my ears ... + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Don't come near me. I feel quite upset. (_Escaping_.) Aïe! You +unmannerly fellow! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_standing up_) + +These preludes are indeed a sad parody on our wild love-making ... +(_aloud, very angry_) I should think-- + +THE LITTLE DOG _looks to see where the dreadful voice is coming from, +and espies a strange striped monster with eyes afire, and eyebrows and +whiskers bristling ferociously. She dashes towards the door crying_, + +Help, help! There's a tiger on the piano!... + +_And falls into the arms of her mistress, who has come upon the scene +and proceeds to console her with great volubility; Fifi! my Zezette! My +darling! there, there, goo, goo, goo, goo, you poor helpless little +doggie! What did they do to her? Ooooo!--Ooo! Was it the naughty +bow-bow? etc., etc., etc_. + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Barks and Purrs +by Colette Willy, aka Colette +Translated by Maire Kelly + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BARKS AND PURRS *** + +***** This file should be named 11737-8.txt or 11737-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/7/3/11737/ + +Produced by Hilary Caws-Elwitt and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Barks and Purrs + +Author: Colette Willy, aka Colette +Translated by Maire Kelly + +Release Date: March 28, 2004 [EBook #11737] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BARKS AND PURRS *** + + + + +Produced by Hilary Caws-Elwitt and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + + +</pre> + + +<!-- +NOTE: Many of the illustrations were cut off by the printer and/or the scanning process. +All of them are included, but the ones that I personally judged to be unusable are commented out. +If a better copy of the book is obtained at some point in the future, ideally the "invisible" +illustrations can be used as a guideline on where to place the improved versions. + +Hilary Caws-Elwitt, 3/24/04. +--> + +<h1>BARKS AND PURRS</h1> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>COLETTE WILLY</h2> + +<h3>TRANSLATED BY<br /> +MAIRE KELLY</h3> +<br /> + +<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/004a.gif" width="320" height="216" align="left" /> +<br clear="left" /> + + +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> + +<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/004b.gif" width="392" height="218" align="right" /> +<br clear="right" /> + + +<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. --> +<a href="#PREFACE"><b>PREFACE</b></a><br /> +<a href="#SENTIMENTALITIES"><b>SENTIMENTALITIES</b></a><br /> + <a href="#ON_THE_TRAIN"><b>ON THE TRAIN</b></a><br /> + <a href="#DINNER_IS_LATE"><b>DINNER IS LATE</b></a><br /> + <a href="#SHE_IS_ILL"><b>SHE IS ILL</b></a><br /> + <a href="#THE_FIRST_FIRE"><b>THE FIRST FIRE</b></a><br /> + <a href="#THE_STORM"><b>THE STORM</b></a><br /> + <a href="#A_CALLER"><b>A CALLER</b></a><br /> + +<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. --> + + + +<br /> + +<a name="PREFACE"></a> +<h2>PREFACE</h2> + +<p><i>Madame</i>:</p> + +<p><i>There are moments when one seems to +come to life. One looks about and distinguishes +a creature whose foot-print closely +resembles the ace of spades. The thing +says: bow-wow. It is a dog. One looks +again. The ace of spades is now an ace of +clubs. The thing says: pffffffff—and it +is a cat.</i></p> + +<p><i>This is the history of the visible world +and in particular, that of my god-children, +Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure. They are +so natural—I use the word in the sense in +which it is applicable to the savages of +Oceania—that all their acts conspire to +make of life, a very simple proposition. +These are animals in the fullest sense of the +word—animos—if I may employ the original +orthography, capable of exclaiming +with those of Faust</i>:</p> + +<p class="poetry">"The fool knows it not!<br /> +He knows not the pot,<br /> +He knows not the kettle."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><i>And as such, Madame, you have placed +them exactly where they should be: their +earthly Paradise is the apartment of +Monsieur Willy. In your salon, the probable +palm and rubber-plant give the impression +of luxuriant Edenic flora, relatively +speaking, and illustrate the transmogrification +which is to allow M. Gaston Deschamps—critic +of a</i> "Temps" <i>plus-que-passé—to +announce to the wilderness +(where he speaks familiarly of Chateaubriand), +and to the Collège de France, how well +he can admire and understand a true poet</i>.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><i>For you are a true poet and I will declare +it freely, not concerning myself more with +the legends Parisians have the habit of weaving +about every celebrity. They admire +Gauguin and Verlaine, not so much for their +originality, as for their eccentricities. And +so it happens that certain persons, unacquainted +with the nameless sentiment, the +order and purity, the thousand interior virtues +which guide you, persist in saying that +you wear your hair short and that Willy is +bald.</i></p> + +<p><i>Must I then—living at Orthez—tell</i> +Tout-Paris <i>who you are, present you to all +who know you—I who have never seen you</i>?</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><i>I will say then, that Madame Colette +Willy never had short hair, that she +does not wear masculine attire; that her cat +does not accompany her when she goes to a +concert, that her friend's dog does not drink +from a tumbler. It is inexact to say that +Mme. Colette Willy works in a squirrel's +cage, or performs upon trapeze and flying +rings, and can reach with her toe the +nape of her neck. Madame Colette Willy +has never ceased to be the</i> plain woman <i>par +excellence, who rises at dawn to give oats to +the horse, maize to the chickens, cabbage to +the rabbits, groundsel to the canaries, snails +to the ducks and bran-water to the pigs. At +eight o'clock, summer and winter, she prepares +the café au lait for her maid—and +herself. Scarcely a day passes that she +does not meditate upon this admirable book</i>:</p> + +<table border="1" cellpadding="5" align="center" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center"> +<p class="center"><b>A LADY'S COUNTRY-HOUSE</b></p> + +<p class="center"><b>BY</b></p> + +<p class="center"><b>MME. MILLET ROBINET.</b></p> +</td></tr></table> + +<p><i>Orchard, kitchen-garden, stable, poultry-yard, +bee-hive and hot-house, have no further +mysteries for Madame Colette Willy. They +say, she refused to divulge her secret for the +destruction of mole-crickets to "a great +statesman, who prayed her on his knees."</i></p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><i>Madame Colette Willy is in no way different +from the description I have just given +of her. I am aware that certain folk, having +met her in society, insist upon making her +very complex. A little more, and they would +have ascribed to her the tastes of the mustiest +symbolists—and one knows how far +from pleasing are those Muses' robes, +how odious the yellow bandeaux above faces +expressionless as eggs. Robes and bandeaux +are to-day relegated to drawers in +the Capitol at Toulouse, from which they +will never be taken more, except when occasion +calls for the howling of official alexandrines +in honor of M. Gaston Deschamps, +Jaurès, or Vercingétorix.</i></p> + +<p><i>Madame Colette Willy rises to-day on +the world of Letters as the poetess—at +last!--who, with the tip of her slipper +sends all the painted, laureled, cothurnèd, +lyre-carrying Muses—that, from Monselet +to Renan, have roused the aspirations of +classes in Rhetoric—rolling, from the top +to the bottom of Parnassus.</i></p> + +<p><i>How charming she is thus—presenting +her bull-dog and her cat with as much assurance +as Diana would her hound, or a +Bacchante her tiger.</i></p> + +<p><i>See her apple-cheeks, her eyes like blue +myosotis, her lips—poppy-petals, and her +ivy-like grace! Tell me if this way of leaning +against the green barrier of her garden-close, +or of lying under the murmurous +arbor of mid-Summer, is not worth the +starched manner, that old magistrate de +Vigny—with his neckcloth wound three +times around, and rigid in his trousers' +straps—imposed upon his goddesses? +Madame Colette Willy is a live woman, a +real woman, who has dared to be natural +and who resembles a little village bride far +more than a perverse woman of letters</i>.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><i>Read her book and you shall see how accurate +are my assertions. It has pleased +Madame Colette Willy to embody in a couple +of delightful animals, the aroma of gardens, +the freshness of the field, the heat of +state-roads,—the passions of men.... +For through this girlish laughter ringing +in the forest, I tell you, I hear the sobbing of +a well-spring. One does not stoop to a +poodle or tom-cat, without feeling the heart +wrung with dumb anguish. One is sensible, +in comparing ourselves to them, of all that +separates and of all that unites us</i>.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><i>A dog's eyes hold the sorrow of having, +since the earliest days of creation, +licked the whip of his incorrigible persecutor +in vain. For nothing has mollified +man—not the prey brought him by a +famishing spaniel, nor the humble guilelessness +of the shepherd-dog, guarding the peace +of the shadowy flocks under the stars</i>.</p> + +<p><i>A tragic fear shines in the cat's eyes. +"What are you going to do to me now?" +it seems to ask, lying on a rubbish-heap, a +prey to mange and hunger—and feverishly +it waits the new torture that will shatter its +nervous system</i>.</p> + +<p><i>But have no fear... Madame Colette +Willy is very kind. She quickly dispels +the hereditary dread of Toby-Dog and +Kiki-the-Demure. She meliorates the race, +so that dogs and cats will learn in the end +that it is less dull to frequent a poet than an +unhappy Collège de France candidate—had +this candidate proven more copiously still, +that the author of "Mémoires d'Outre-Tombe" +had topsyturvily described the jawbone +of the Crocodile</i>.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><i>Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure well +know that their mistress is a lady who +would do no harm—neither to a piece of +sugar nor to a mouse; a lady who, for our +delight, jumps a rope she has woven of +flower-words which she never bruises, and +with which she perfumes us; a lady who sings, +with the voice of a clear French rivulet, that +wistful tenderness which makes the hearts of +animals beat so fast</i>.</p> + +<p class="poetry">FRANCIS JAMMES.</p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<a name="DRAMATIS_PERSONAE"></a> +<h2>DRAMATIS PERSONAE</h2> +<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/018a.gif" width="197" height="325" align="left" /> +<br clear="left" /> + + +<p class="indent"><font size="+1"><b>KIKI-THE-DEMURE</b>, A Maltese cat.<br /> +<b>TOBY-DOG</b>, A French bull-dog.<br /> +<b>HE</b>, }<br /> +<b>SHE</b>,} Master and Mistress (of minor importance).</font></p> + +<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/018b.gif" width="269" height="401" align="right" /> +<br clear="all" /> + + +<a name="SENTIMENTALITIES"></a> +<h2>SENTIMENTALITIES</h2> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/022.gif" width="548" height="346" /></p> + + +<br /> + +<p><i>The sunny porch</i>. TOBY-DOG <i>and</i> KIKI-THE-DEMURE +<i>sprawl on the hot stone-flags, +taking their after luncheon nap. +The silence of Sunday prevails, yet</i> TOBY-DOG +<i>is not asleep: the flies and a heavy +luncheon torment him. Hind-quarters +flattened out frog-fashion, he drags himself +on his belly up to</i> KIKI-THE-DEMURE +<i>whose striped body is perfectly quiet</i>.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Are you asleep?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>purrs feebly</i>)</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/023.gif" width="516" height="142" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Are you even alive? You're so flat! You +look like the empty skin of a cat.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>in faltering tones</i>)</p> + +<p>L-e-t—m-e—a-l-o-n-e....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Not sick, are you?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No.... Let me alone. I'm asleep. I'm +not even conscious of my body. What torment +to live with you! I've eaten, it's two +o'clock, let's sleep.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I can't. Something's made a ball in my +stomach. It means to go down I guess, +but very slowly. And then,—these <i>flies</i>, +these <i>flies</i>! The eyes start out of my head +at the sight of one of them. I'm all jaws, +bristling with terrible teeth (just hear them +snap), yet the infernal things escape me. +Oh! my ears! Oh! my poor, sensitive, +brown belly! My feverish nose! There! ... you see? ... right on my nose! +<i>What</i> shall I do? I squint all I can ... +two of them now? ... No ... only one ... no, two! ... I toss them up like bits +of sugar and it's the empty air I snap.... +I'm worn out. I detest the sun, and the flies, +and everything! ...</p> + +<p>(<i>He wails</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>sitting up, his eyes pale +from the light and sleepiness</i>)</p> + +<p>Well, you've succeeded in waking me. +That's all you wanted, isn't it? My dreams +are gone! These flies that you're pursuing +—I hardly felt their little teasing feet +through my thick fur. The merest touch, +like a caress, now and then thrilled along +the silky sloping hairs which clothe me.... +But then you never act with any discretion. +Your vulgar gayety is a nuisance, and when +sad you howl like a low comedian.</p> + +<!--<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/024.gif" width="222" height="287" />--> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>bitterly</i>)</p> + +<p>If you woke up just to tell me <i>that</i>—</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>correcting</i>)</p> + +<p>Of course you'll remember 'twas <i>you</i> woke +me.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I was so uncomfortable, I wanted someone +to help me, to give me a word of encouragement....</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p><i>I</i> don't know any digestive words.</p> + +<p>(<i>Pause</i>.)</p> + +<p>Fancy their giving <i>me</i> a bad character +when ... Just examine your conscience a +bit and compare us. Hunger and heat wear +you out and drive you mad; cold makes your +blood curdle....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>vexed</i>)</p> + +<p>Mine is a sensitive nature.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>A demoniacal nature, you mean!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>No, I don't mean that. You—you're a +monstrous egoist.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Perhaps.... You and the Two-Paws +don't understand what you're pleased to call +a cat's egoism.... Our instinct of self-preservation, +our dignity, our modest reserve, +our attitude of weary renunciation +(which comes of the hopelessness of ever +being understood by them), they dub, in +haphazard fashion, egoism. You're not a +very discriminating dog, but at least you're +free from prejudice. Will <i>you</i> understand +me better? A cat is a guest in the house, +not a plaything. Truly these are strange +times we're living in! The Two-Paws, He +and She, have <i>they</i> alone the right to be +sad or joyful, to lick plates, to scold, or to +go about the house indulging their capricious +humors? I too have <i>my</i> whims, <i>my</i> sorrows, +<i>my</i> irregular appetite, <i>my</i> hours of reverie +when I wish to be alone....</p> + +<!--<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/027.gif" width="277" height="237" />--> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>attentive and conscientious</i>)</p> + +<p>I'm listening, but I can hardly follow +what you say. It's so complicated—a bit +over my head, you know. But you astonish +me! Are they in the habit of hindering +you in your changeful moods? You mew, +and they open the door. You lie on the +paper—the sacred paper He's scratching on—He +moves away, marvelous condescension!--and +leaves you his soiled page. +You meander up and down his scratching +table, obviously in quest of mischief, your +nose wrinkled up, your tail giving quick +little jerks back and forth like a pendulum. +She watches you laughing, while He announces +"the promenade of devastation." +How then, can you accuse Them—</p> + +<!--<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/028.gif" width="584" height="202" />--> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>insincere</i>)</p> + +<p>I don't accuse Them. After all, psychological +subtleties are not in your line.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Don't speak so fast. I need time to understand. +It seems to me—</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>slyly</i>)</p> + +<p>Pray, don't hurry! Your digestion +might suffer in consequence.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>unconscious of the irony</i>)</p> + +<p>You're right! I've some trouble in expressing +myself to-day.—Well, here goes: +it seems to me that of the two of us it's you +they make the most of, and yet <i>you</i> do all +the grumbling.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>A dog's logic, that! The more one gives +the more I demand.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>That's wrong. It's indiscreet.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Not at all. I have a right to everything.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>To everything? And I?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I don't imagine you lack anything, do +you?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Ah, I don't know. Sometimes in my very +happiest moments, I feel like crying. My +eyes grow dim, my heart seems to choke me. +I would like to be sure, in such times of anguish, +that everybody loves me; that there +is nowhere in the world a sad dog behind a +closed door, that no evil will ever come....</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>jeering</i>)</p> + +<p>And <i>then</i> what dreadful thing happens?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>You know very well! Inevitably, at that +moment She appears, carrying a bottle with +horrible yellow stuff floating in it—Castor +Oil! Wilful and unfeeling, she holds me +between her strong knees, opens my jaws—</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Close them tighter!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>But I'm afraid of hurting her—and my +tongue, horrified, tastes the slimy mawkish +stuff. I choke and spit, my poor face is +convulsed and the end of this torture is +long in coming.... You've seen me afterwards +dragging myself around, melancholy, +my head hanging, listening to the unwholesome +glouglou the oil makes in my stomach. ...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/031.gif" width="525" height="164" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Once when I was little She tried to give +<i>me</i> castor oil. I scratched and bit her so, +she never tried again. Ha! She must have +thought she held the devil between her knees. +I squirmed, blew fire through my nostrils, +multiplied my twenty claws by a hundred, +my teeth by one thousand, and finally—disappeared +as if by magic.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I wouldn't dare do that. You see, I +love her. I love her enough to forgive her +even the torture of the bath.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>interested</i>)</p> + +<p>You do? Tell me how it feels. It makes +me shiver all over, just to see her putting +you in the water.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/032.gif" width="223" height="210" align="right"> +<p>Alas.... Listen then, and pity me. +Sometimes, when She's come out of her +tub with nothing on her but her skin, her +soft hairless skin that I lick respectfully,—She +spills out more warm water, +throws in a brown brick which smells of +tar, and calls, "Toby!" That's enough! +The soul quits my body; my legs shake under +me. Something shines on the water—the +picture of a window all twisted out of +shape—it dances about and blinds me. +She seizes me, poor swooning thing that I +am, and plunges me in.... Ye Gods! From +that time on I'm lost.... My one hope is in +her. My eyes fasten themselves on hers, +while a close warmth sticks to me like another +skin on top of mine.... The brick's +all foamy now ... I smell tar ... my +eyes and nostrils smart ... there are +storms in my ears. She grows excited, +breathes loud and fast, laughs, and scrubs +me light-heartedly. At last She rescues me, +fishing me out by the nape of my neck, I paw +the air, begging for life; then comes the +rough towel and the warm coverlet where, exhausted, +I relish my convalescence....</p> + + + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>deeply impressed</i>)</p> + +<p>Calm yourself.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Jove! The telling it alone! ... But—you +old sly-boots—didn't I see her one day +armed with a sponge standing over <i>you,</i> +holding <i>you</i> down on the toilet table?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>quite embarrassed, lashing his tail</i>)</p> + +<p>An old story! The long, fluffy hairs +on my legs (which give them the outline of +a Zouave's) had somehow gotten dirty. She +insisted upon washing me. I persuaded her +that I suffered atrociously under the +sponge....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>What a fibber you are! Did She believe +you?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>'Um ... at first. It was my own fault +tho' when She didn't. Turned over on my +back, I proffered the candid belly, the terrified +and forgiving eyes of a lamb about to be +sacrificed. I felt a slight coolness, nothing +more. A fear that my sensibilities might be +destroyed, took possession of me. My rhythmical +wailings increased, then subsided, then +went up again like the noise of the sea (you +know the strength of my voice). I imitated +the calf, the whipped child, the cat in the +night, the wind under the door. Little by +little I grew enraptured with my own song, +so that long after She had finished soiling me +with cold water I continued wailing, my eyes +fixed on the ceiling. Then She laughed tactlessly +and cried out, "You're as untruthful +as a woman!"</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/034.gif" width="501" height="259" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>with conviction</i>)</p> + +<p>That <i>was</i> annoying.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I was angry with her the entire afternoon.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Oh, as to sulking, you do your share! <i>I</i> +never can. I forget injuries.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>dryly</i>)</p> + +<p>You lick the hand that chastens you. Oh +it's well known!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>gullible</i>)</p> + +<p>I lick the hand that—yes, that's it exactly.—An +awfully pretty expression.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Not mine.... Dignity doesn't trouble +<i>you</i> any! My word! I'm often ashamed +for you. You love everybody. You take +all sorts of rebuffs without even raising your +back. You're as pleasant and as banal as +a public garden.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Don't you believe it, you ill-bred cat! +You think you know everything and you +don't understand simple politeness. Frankly +now, would you have me snarl at His or Her +friends' heels,—well-dressed people who +know my name (lots of people <i>I</i> don't know +know my name) and good-naturedly pull +my ears?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I hate new faces.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I don't love them either—whatever you +say. I love—Her and Him.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>And I, Him—and Her.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Oh, I guessed <i>your</i> preference long ago. +There's a sort of secret understanding between +you two—</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/037.gif" width="528" height="190" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>smiling mysteriously +and abandoning himself to his reverie</i>)</p> + +<p>An understanding, yes—secret and profound. +He rarely speaks but makes a +noise like a mouse, scratching his paper. +It's for Him I've treasured up my little +heart, my precious cat's heart, and He, +without words, has given me his. This exchange +makes me happy and reserved. +Now and then with that pretty, wayward, +ruling instinct which makes us cats rivals of +women, I try my power over him. When +we are alone, I point my ears forward devilishly +as a sign that I'm about to spring +upon his scratching paper. The tap, tap, +tap of my paws straight through pens +and letters and everything scattered about, +is addressed to him as well as the insistent +miauling when I beg for liberty. "Hymn +to the Door-Knob," He laughingly calls it, +or "The Plaint of the Sequestered Cat." +The tender contemplation of my inspiring +eyes is for him alone; they weigh on his bent +head, until the look I'm calling searches and +meets mine in a shock of souls, so foreseen +and so sweet, that I must needs close my lids +to hide the exquisite shyness I feel.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/038.gif" width="542" height="154" /></p> + +<p>As for Her, she flutters about too much, +often jostles me, holds my paws together +and rocks me in the air, pets me in excited +fashion, laughs aloud at me, imitates my +voice too well—</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>moved with indignation</i>)</p> + +<p>You're very hard to please! I certainly +love Him; he's good and pretends not to see +my faults, so that he won't have to scold, +but She's the most beautiful thing in the +world to me, the dearest and—the most +difficult to understand. The sound of her +step enchants me, her changeful eyes dispense +happiness—and trouble. She's like +Destiny itself, she never hesitates. Even +torture from her hands—you know how She +teases me?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Cruelly.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>No, not cruelly, but artfully. I never can +tell what's coming next. This morning She +bent down as if to speak to me, lifted +one of my "tiny elephant's ears," as She +calls them, and sent a sharp cry into it, which +went to the very back of my brain.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Horrors!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Was it right or wrong? I can't decide +even now. It started waves of nervousness +running madly through me. Then, She has +a fancy for making me do tricks. Almost +every day I must—"Do the Fish, Toby +dear." She lifts me in her arms and squeezes +me until I gasp. My poor dumb mouth +opens as a carp's does when they're drowning +it in air....</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>That's <i>just</i> like Her!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Suddenly I find myself free—and still +alive, miraculously saved by the power of +her will. How beautiful life seems to me +then! How fondly I lick the hand hanging +at her side, the hem of her dress!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>contemptuously</i>)</p> + +<p>A pretty thing to do!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>All good and all evil come to me from +Her. She is my worst torment and my one +sure refuge. When I run to her, my heart +sick with fear, how soft her arms are +and how sweet her hair, falling in my face! +I'm her "black-baby," her "Toby-Dog," +her "little bit o' love." She sits on the +ground to reassure me, making herself little +like me—lies down altogether and I go +wild with delight at the sight of her face +under mine, thrown back in her fragrant +hair. My feelings overflow, I can't resist +such a chance for a jolly good game. I +rummage and fumble about, excitedly poking +my nose everywhere, till I find the crispy +tip of a pink ear—Her ear. I nibble it +just enough to tickle her—to make her cry +out: "Stop, Toby! That's awful! Help! +Help! This dog's devouring me!"</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/041.gif" width="411" height="177" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +H'm! Simple, homely, wholesome joys! + ... And then, off you go to make friends +with the cook. + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>And you,—with the cat at the farm.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>coldly</i>)</p> + +<p>Enough I pray, that concerns no one but +myself ... and the little cat.</p> + +<!--<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/043.gif" width="429" height="969" /></p>--> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>A pretty conquest! It should make you +blush—a seven-months-old kitten!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>roused</i>)</p> + +<p>For me she has all the charm of forbidden +fruit and no one dare steal her from me. +She is slim as a bean-pole....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>aside</i>)</p> + +<p>You old rascal!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +... and long; poised on long legs she +walks with the uncertain step common to all +young things. She hunts field-mice, shrew-mice—even +partridge, and this hard work +in the fields has toughened her young muscles +and given a rather gloomy expression to her +kitten-face. + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>She's ugly.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No, not ugly, but odd-looking. Her muzzle +with its very pink nostrils strongly resembles +that of a goat, her large ears remind +one of a peasant's coif, her eyes the +color of old gold are set slant-wise, and their +naturally keen expression is varied by an +occasional piquant squint.</p> + +<p>With what a will does she fly me confounding +modesty with fear! I pass slowly +by (one would think me quite uninterested), +draped in my splendid coat. She's struck +by its stripes. Oh, she'll come back, a little +love-sick kitten, and putting aside all constraint +she'll throw herself at my feet—like +a supple white scarf—</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I've no objection, you know.... I'm +comparatively indifferent to all that concerns +love. Here my time's so completely filled ... physical exercise ... my cares of +watch-dog, I ... hardly give a thought to +the bagatelle.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/044.gif" width="573" height="299" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>aside</i>)</p> + +<p>Bagatelle! ... He indulges in the persiflage +of a traveling salesman!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I love—Her and Him devotedly, with a +love that lifts me up to them. It suffices +to occupy my time and heart.</p> + +<p>The hour of our siesta is passing, my +scornful friend. Do you know, I like you +in spite of your scorn and you like me, too. +Don't turn your head away, your peculiar +modesty would hide what you call frailty +and what I call love. Do you think me +blind? How often, on coming back to the +house with Her, have I seen your little triangular +face at the window, light up and +smile at my approach,—the time to open +the door and you'd already put on your cat's +mask—your pretty Japanesy mask, with +its narrow eyes.... Isn't it so?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/045.gif" width="575" height="532" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>resolved not to hear</i>)</p> + +<p>The hour of the siesta is passing. The +cone-shaped shadows of the pear trees grow +long on the gravel path. We've talked away +our sleepiness. You've forgotten the flies, +your uneasy stomach, and the heat which +dances in waves on the meadows. The beautiful, +sultry day is dying. Already there's a +breeze bringing perfume from the pines. +Their trunks are melting into bright +tears....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Here She is! She's left her wicker chair, +stretched her lovely arms and, judging from +the movement of her dress, I think we're going +to take a walk. See her behind the rosebushes? +Now, with her nails she breaks +a leaf from the lemon tree; she's crumpling +it up and smelling it. Ah ... I belong to +Her, soul and body. With my eyes closed I +can divine her presence.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Yes, I see Her. She is quiet and gentle +for the time being. He'll leave his paper +now to follow her. He'll come out calling, +"Where are you?" and sit on the bench, +tired out. For <i>him</i>, I shall rise politely, +and go "do my nails" along the leg of his +trousers. Silent, happy companions, we'll +listen for the day's departing footsteps. +The perfume of the lindens will become +sickeningly sweet at the same hour that my +seer's eyes grow big and black and read +mysterious Signs in the air.... Later on +a calm fire will be lit down there, behind the +pointed mountain—a circle of glistening +rose-color in the gray-blue of the night—a +sort of luminous cocoon from which will +burst the dazzling edge of the moon. She +will sail along, cleaving the clouds.... +Then, it will be time to go to rest. He'll +carry me in on his shoulder and I'll sleep +close to his feet, which are ever mindful of +my repose.... Dawn will find me shivering +but rejuvenated, sitting face to the sun, in +a silvery halo of incense, offered me by the +dew. Thus, I am a perfect picture of the +god I was in the old, old days.</p> + + + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/048.gif" width="152" height="364" /></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<a name="ON_THE_TRAIN"></a> +<h2><b>ON THE TRAIN</b></h2> +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/052.gif" width="553" height="270" /></p> + + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, TOBY-DOG, SHE <i>and</i> HE, +<i>have taken their places in a first-class +compartment. The train rolls along towards +distant mountains, and the freedom +of Summer-time</i>. TOBY, <i>on a leash, lifts +an inquiring nose to the window</i>. HE +<i>has strewn the carriage with newspapers</i>: +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, <i>silent and invisible in a +closed basket, is under his immediate protection</i>. +SHE, <i>leaning back against the +dusty cushions, dreams of the mountain +she loves best and of the low house on it, +weighted down with jasmine and virginia-creeper</i>.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>How fast this carriage goes! It can't be +our regular coachman. I haven't seen the +horses, but they smell very bad and make +black smoke. Oh, Silent Dreamer, look at me +and tell me—shall we arrive soon?</p> + +<p>(<i>No response</i>. TOBY <i>gets +fidgety and blows through +his nostrils</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>Hush! Toby, hush!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I've hardly said a word.... Shall we +arrive soon?</p> + +<p>(<i>He turns towards his master, +who is reading, and puts +a discreet paw on the edge +of his knee</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">HE</p> + +<p>'Sh! ...</p> + +<!--<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/055a.gif" width="271" height="140" />--> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>resigned</i>)</p> + +<p>Hard luck! No one wants to talk to +me. I'm bored and what's more, I don't +know this carriage well enough. I'm tired +out. They woke me very early this morning. +I amused myself by running all over +the house. They had hidden the chairs +under sheets, wrapped up the lamps, rolled +up the rugs. Things were white and +changed and awful. There was a horrid +smell of camphor everywhere. My eyes +filled with water, I sneezed under the chairs +and slid on the bare floor in my haste to +follow the maids' white aprons. They +bustled about among trunks with such unwonted +zeal, that I was sure something exceptional +was going to happen. +<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/055.gif" width="353" height="211" align="right" /> +At the last +minute just as She came in, calling: +"Toby's collar and the cat's basket! +Quick! put the cat in his basket!"—just +as she was saying that, my chum disappeared. +It was indescribable! He, terrible +to see, swore by all the gods, and +struck the floor with his cane, furious because +they had allowed his Kiki to get away. +She called "Kiki!" at first supplicatingly, +then in threatening tones, and the maids +brought empty plates, meant to deceive, and +yellow paper from the butcher's. I really +thought my chum had left this world, when +suddenly—there he was perched on top +of the book-case, looking down on us with +an expression of contempt in his green eyes. +She put up her arms: "Kiki <i>will</i> you +come down immediately! You are going to +make us lose the train!" But he didn't come +down and it made me dizzy—though I was +on the ground—to see him way up there +walking and turning about and miauling +shrilly to tell us how impossible he found +it to obey. He was about frantic and +kept saying: "Heavens, he's going to fall." +But She smiled skeptically, went out of the +room and came back armed with the whip. +The whip said, "crack!" twice only; then a +miracle happened I think, 'cause the cat +leaped to the floor, softer and more bouncey +than our plaything, the ball of wool. <i>I</i> +would have broken to pieces falling like +that! ... He has been in this basket ever +since.... (TOBY <i>goes to the basket</i>.) +Ah! here's a little peek-hole.... I see his +whiskers ... they're like white needles. +Whew! What eyes! (<i>He jumps back</i>.) +I'm rather afraid. One can't really shut a +cat up; he always manages to get out somehow. + ... He must suffer, poor fellow! +Perhaps if I speak kindly to him ... (<i>he +calls very politely</i>) Cat!</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/056.gif" width="479" height="250" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>spitting furiously</i>)</p> + +<p>Khhh! ...</p> + + + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>jumping back</i>)</p> + +<p>Oh, you said a bad word! You look awful! +Have you a pain anywhere?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Go away! I'm a martyr.... Go away +I tell you, or I'll blow fire at you!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>ingenuous</i>)</p> + +<p>But why?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Why!--Because you're free, because I'm +in this basket, because the basket's in a foul +carriage which is shaking me to pieces, and +because the serenity of those two exasperates +me.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Would you like me to look out and tell +you what one sees from the carriage window?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Everything is equally odious to me.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>having looked out, comes back</i>)</p> + +<p>I haven't seen anything....</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>bitterly</i>)</p> + +<p>Thanks just the same.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I mean I haven't seen anything that's +easy to describe. Some green things which +pass right close to us—so close and so fast +that they give one a slap in the eye. A flat +field turning 'round and 'round and over +there, a little pointed steeple—it's running +as fast as the carriage. Another field all +red with blossoming clover has just given +me another slap in the eye—a red slap. +The earth is sinking in—or else we're going +up, I'm not sure which. I see way off, +<i>far</i> away, some green lawns dotted with white +daisies—perhaps they're cows.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>with sarcasm</i>)</p> + +<p>Or wafers, for sealing letters—or anything +you like.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Aren't you the least little bit amused?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>with a sinister laugh</i>)</p> + +<p>Ha! Ask of the damned ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Of whom?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>more and more melodramatic, +but without conviction</i>)</p> + + ... of the damned in his vat of boiling +oil, if anything amuses him! Mine is not +physical torment. I suffer imprisonment, +humiliation, darkness, neglect— + +<p>(<i>The train stops. A conductor +on the platform cries +"Aw-ll a-bor!! ... awl +aborr!!"</i>)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>bewildered</i>)</p> + +<p>Someone's crying out! There's an accident!! +Let's run!!!</p> + +<p>(<i>He throws himself against +the carriage door and +scratches madly at it</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>half asleep</i>)</p> + +<p>Toby dear, you're a nuisance!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>distracted</i>)</p> + +<p>Oh, you inexplicable person! How can +you sit there quietly? Don't you hear those +cries? They're stopping now—the accident +has gone away. Wish I'd known...</p> + +<p>(<i>The train starts again</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">HE, (<i>throwing down his paper</i>)</p> + +<p>The poor beast is hungry.</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>now very wide awake</i>)</p> + +<p>You think so? Well, I am too. But +Toby is to eat very little.</p> + +<p class="center">HE, (<i>anxiously</i>)</p> + +<p>And Kiki-the-Demure?</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>peremptorily</i>)</p> + +<p>Kiki sulks, and he hid this morning, so he'll +have even less than Toby.</p> + +<p class="center">HE</p> + +<p>He isn't making a sound. Aren't you +afraid he's sick?</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>No, he's simply vexed.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>as soon as there's question +of himself</i>)</p> + +<p>Me-ow!</p> + +<p class="center">HE, (<i>tenderly and eagerly</i>)</p> + +<p>Come my beautiful Kiki, my imprisoned +one, come. You shall have cold roast-beef +and some breast of chicken...</p> + +<p>(<i>He opens the prison basket +and</i> KIKI <i>puts forth his</i> +<i>head, flattened on top like +that of a serpent; then his +long, striped body, cautiously, +and so very slowly +that one begins to think it's +coming out by the yard</i>.)</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/061.gif" width="491" height="296" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>pleasantly</i>)</p> + +<p>Ah, there you are, cat! Well, now, proclaim +your freedom!</p> + +<p>(KIKI, <i>without replying, +smoothes his ruffled fur</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/062a.gif" width="209" height="290" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Proclaim your freedom I tell you! It's +the custom. Whenever a door is opened one +must run, jump, twist oneself into half circles +and cry out.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p><i>One</i>? Who's one, pray?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/062b.gif" width="291" height="244" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>We dogs.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>seated and very dignified</i>)</p> + +<p>Would you have me <i>bark</i>, too? ... We +have never followed the same rules of conduct, +that I know of.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>vexed</i>)</p> + +<p>Oh very well, I don't insist. How do +you like this carriage?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>sniffing fastidiously</i>)</p> + +<p>It's frightful.—However, the cushions +are rather good for one's nails.</p> + +<p>(<i>He suits the action to the +word</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>aside</i>)</p> + +<p>Now if <i>I</i> did that...</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>continuing to scratch +the upholstery</i>)</p> + +<p>Hon! May this spongy, gray cloth soothe +my rage! ... Since morning, the whole +universe has been in a state of monstrous +revolt. He whom I love, and who venerates +me, made not the least effort to defend me. +I've submitted to humiliating contacts, been +jolted to death, piercing whistles have shot +through my head from ear to ear. Ho, ho, +how good it is to relax the nerves and to +imagine that, with gleeful claws, one tears +the enemies' flesh in bloody shreds! Ho, ho! +S-c-r-a-t-c-h, and lift the paws on high! +Lift them high as possible! It's a supremely +insolent gesture....</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>I say, Kiki, when are you going to stop +that?</p> + +<p class="center">HE, (<i>Indulgent and admiring</i>)</p> + +<p>Let him alone. He's doing his nails.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>He has spoken for me. I forgive him. +But since it's allowed, I don't care any more +about tearing the cushions ... When will I +get out of this? Not that I'm afraid; they +are both there, and the dog too, with their +everyday faces ... I've twinges in my +stomach.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/065.gif" width="342" height="146" /></p> + +<p>(<i>He yawns. The train stops. +A conductor on the platform +cries, "Aw-ll a-bor! +Aw-ll a-b-o-r-r!!"</i>)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>excited</i>)</p> + +<p>Screaming again! Another accident?!--Let's +run!...</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Heavens, what a tiresome dog! What +does it matter to him, if there <i>is</i> an accident?</p> + +<p>I don't believe in it moreover. It's the cry +of a man, and men cry out for the pleasure +of hearing their own voices.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>calm again</i>)</p> + +<p>I'm hungry. Can't we hope to eat soon, +my mistress? I don't know what time it is +in this strange country, but it seems to +me...</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>Come now, we'll all have our luncheon.</p> + +<p>(<i>She takes the things out of +the basket, crumples up +some tissue paper and +breaks a crisp brown roll</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>chewing</i>)</p> + +<p>What She gave me then must have been +very good indeed to seem such a tiny bit. +It melted in my mouth, there's not even the +memory of it left...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/066.gif" width="373" height="211" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>chewing</i>)</p> + +<p>Breast of chicken! Purr-rr ... Goodness +me! I was purring without knowing it! +That won't do. They'll think me resigned +to this journey. I must eat slowly, grim, +and undeceived, eat for the sole purpose of +keeping myself alive...</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>to the dog and cat</i>)</p> + +<p>Allow me to have <i>my</i> luncheon now, if you +please. <i>I</i> too, like cold chicken and the +hearts of lettuce, dipped in salt...</p> + +<p class="center">HE, (<i>anxiously</i>)</p> + +<p>What <i>shall</i> we do to make this cat go into +his basket again?</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>I don't know. We'll see presently...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Finished already? I could swallow three +times that much. I say Cat, you're eating +rather well for a martyr.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>fibbing</i>)</p> + +<p>Trouble digs a hole in one's interior. +Move away please, I want to sleep now ... +if I can. Perhaps a merciful dream will +take me back to the house I've left, to the +flowered cushion He gave me.... Home! +sweet home! Rugs of bright colors for the +delight of my eyes, a palm with nice shoots +for me to eat, deep arm-chairs, under +which I hide my woolen ball as a future surprise +for myself—ah, and the cork hanging +by a string to the door-latch! the tables +covered with bibelots! I thread my way +in and out among them and occasionally +it amuses me to break some brittle thing. +The dining-room is a temple! The vestibule, +full of mystery; there unseen, I can +watch those who come and go ... Oh narrow +back-stairway, where the step of the +milkman rings out for me like a morning +angelus—farewell! farewell! my destiny +carries me on, and who knows if ever ... +But this is <i>too</i> sad! All the pretty things +I've been saying have really begun to make +me feel badly!!</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/068.gif" width="438" height="295" /></p> + +<p>(<i>He begins a minute and +mournful toilet. The train +stops. A conductor on the +platform cries, "Aw-ll-a-borr-a-borr!!"</i>)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>There it is again! An acci—Oh +bother, I've had enough of that!</p> + +<p class="center">HE, (<i>anxiously</i>)</p> + +<p>We're going to change trains in ten minutes. +How about the cat? He'll never allow +us to shut him up...</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>We'll see ... Suppose we put some meat +in his basket?</p> + +<p class="center">HE</p> + +<p>Or perhaps petting would...</p> + +<p>(<i>They approach the redoubtable</i> +KIKI <i>and both speak +together</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">HE</p> + +<p>Kiki, my beautiful Kiki, come jump on my +knee, or on my shoulder. You like that +as a rule. You'll doze there and then I'll +put you gently into the basket. After all, +it's open-work and has a comfortable cushion +to protect you from the rough wicker. +Come, my dear....</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>Listen, Kiki. You must learn to act +properly and to take life as it is. You can't +stay there like that. We're going to change +trains and a horrible guard will appear and +say insulting things of you and your race. +Besides you'd better obey, because if you +don't, I—I'll give you a good whipping.</p> + +<p>(<i>But before she can lift her hand +against his sacred fur, Kiki gets up, +stretches himself, arches his back, yawns,—to +show the rosy lining of his mouth, +and then walks to the open basket +where he lies down with an admirable air +of quiet insolence. He and She exchange +eloquent glances</i>.)</p> + + + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/071.gif" width="490" height="512" /></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<a name="DINNER_IS_LATE"></a> +<h2><b>DINNER IS LATE</b></h2> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/074.gif" width="587" height="244" /></p> + +<p><i>A parlor, in the country, at the close of a +long summer's day</i>. KIKI-THE-DEMURE +<i>and</i> TOBY-DOG <i>doze; ears twitching and +eyelids obstinately shut. Now</i> KIKI'S <i>lids +part in a narrow slit, and disclose eyes the +color of purple grapes. He yawns, with +the ferocious expression of a small +dragon.</i></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>haughtily</i>)</p> + +<p>You're snoring!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>who was not really asleep</i>)</p> + +<p>I'm not; it's you.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Impossible! I don't snore, I purr.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Same thing.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>not condescending to a +discussion</i>)</p> + +<p>Thank heaven, it isn't! (<i>A silence</i>.)</p> + +<p>I'm hungry. One doesn't hear the noise +of plates in the next room. Isn't it dinner +time?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>gets up, slowly stretches his +forepaws and yawns, darting forth a +heraldic tongue with curly end</i>)</p> + +<p>I don't know ... I'm hungry.</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/076.gif" width="323" height="216" align="right"/></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Where is She? How is it you're not at +her heels?</p> + + + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>embarrassed, nibbling his nails</i>)</p> + +<p>She's in the garden I believe, picking up +plums.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Those yellow balls that rain about one's +ears? I know them. You've seen her then? +I bet She scolded you ... What have you +been doing now?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>self-conscious, turning away his +wrinkled, toad-like face</i>)</p> + +<p>She told me to return to the house because—because +I too, was eating plums.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>She did well! You have depraved tastes—the +tastes of men.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>offended</i>)</p> + +<p>Say—no one ever sees me eating bad +fish! And never, <i>never</i> will I understand how +you can go into such fits over a dead frog, +or that herb.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Valerian.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>That's it, I guess ... An herb—is medicine, +isn't it?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Medicine, indeed! Valerian ... but no +<i>you</i>, can't understand ... I've seen Her +laugh and go on, as I do over the valerian, +after having emptied a glass of fetid wine +that jumped dangerously too. As for the +dead frog—so dead that it seems a bit of +dry russia leather in the form of a frog—it's +a sachet, impregnated with rare musk, +with which I wish to scent my fur.</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/077.gif" width="327" height="231" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Oh, you talk very well—but She always +scolds and says that you smell bad after it, +and He says the same thing.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/078.gif" width="572" height="960" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>They're nothing but Two-Paws, both of +them. You, poor thing, belittle yourself +by seeking to imitate them. You stand on +your hind legs, wear a coat when it rains, +eat plums—for shame!--and those big +green balls, the malicious trees let fall sometimes, +when I'm passing underneath.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Apples?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Very likely. She picks one up and +throws it down the path, crying: "Apple, +Toby, apple," and you rush after, in unseemly +fashion, gasping for breath, looking +like a fool, your tongue and your eyes sticking +out ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>scowling, head resting on his +paws</i>)</p> + +<p>One takes one's pleasures where one finds +them.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>yawning, shows his +pointed teeth and his palate of pink velvet</i>)</p> + +<p>I'm hungry. Dinner is surely late tonight. +Suppose you look for Her?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I daren't. She forbade it. She is down +there in the hollow, with a big basket. The +dew is falling and wetting her feet and the +sun's going away. But you know how She is. +She sits on the damp ground, looking ahead +of her, as if She were asleep—or lies flat on +her stomach, whistling and watching an +ant in the grass ... She tears up a handful +of wild thyme and smells it, or calls the +tomtits and the jays—who never come to +her by any chance. She takes a heavy +watering pot and—ugh! it gives me the +shivers—pours thousands of icy, silvery +threads over the roses or into the hollows +of those little stone troughs, 'way back in +the woods. I always look in to see the +head of a brindle-bull who comes to meet +me and to drink up the pictures of the +leaves, but She pulls me back by the collar +with: "Toby, Toby, <i>that</i> water is for the +birds." ... Then She takes out her knife +and opens nuts, fifty, a <i>hundred</i> nuts, and +forgets the time ... There's no end to the +things She does.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>slyly</i>)</p> + +<p>And what do you do all that time?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I—well—I just wait for her.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" src="gifs/081a.gif" width="521" height="287" alt=" " /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I admire you!</p> + +<p class="center"> </p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Once in a while, squatting down, She +eagerly scratches the earth, toils and sweats +over it; then I jump 'round her, delighted +to see her at something so useful and so +familiar. But her feeble scent deceives her. +<i>I</i> never smell mole, or shrew-mouse-of-the-rosy-paws, +in the holes <i>She</i> digs. And how +explain her utter lack of purpose? Presently, +falling back on her haunches, She +brandishes a hairy-rooted herb and cries: +"I have it, the jade!" I lie in the damp +grass and tremble, or dig my nose +(She calls it my snout) into the earth +to get the complicated odors of it. ... When there are three or four +scents all blended, all mixed together, +can you distinguish that of the +mole from that of the hare which passed +quickly, or the bird which rested there?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" src="gifs/081b.gif" width="551" height="433" alt=" " /></p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" src="gifs/082a.gif" width="570" height="303" alt=" " /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Certainly I can. My nose is highly educated. +It's small, regular, wide between +my eyes, delicate at the chamois-skin end +of my nostrils; the lightest touch of a blade +of grass, the shadow of smoke tickles and +makes it sneeze. It doesn't bother about +distinguishing the scent of moles from that +of—hares, did you say? But it delights +in the trace left by a cat in a hedge ... I've +a charming nose. She calls it, "his pretty +little nose of cotton velvet." Since my eyes +opened on this world I've not known the day +that someone has not uttered a truthful flattery +on the subject of my nose. Now yours—is +a rough-grained truffle. What makes +you move it so ridiculously? At this very +moment.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/082b.gif" width="550" height="301" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I'm hungry and I don't hear the plates.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +... your truffle of a nose works up and +down and makes another wrinkle in your +irregular mug. + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>She always says, "his square muzzle, his +wrinkled truffle," so tenderly and so lovingly!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +... And you think of nothing but eating. + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>It's <i>your</i> empty stomach that scolds and +complains and wants to quarrel with me.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I've a charming stomach.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>But no, it's your nose that's charming. +You just said so.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>My stomach too. There's none more fastidious, +more whimsical, stronger and at the +same time more delicate. It digests the +bones of sole, but meat that's the least bit +tainted literally turns it.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Literally's the word. You have <i>active</i> +indigestion.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Yes, the whole house is affected by it. +From the very first qualms I'm in terrible +distress; the earth gives way under me, my +eyes dilate, I hurriedly swallow quantities +of salty saliva; involuntary, ventriloquial +cries escape me, my sides bulge out—</p> + +<!--<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/085.gif" width="327" height="100" /></p>--> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>disgusted</i>)</p> + +<p>I say, if it's all the same to you, tell me +the rest after dinner.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I'm hungry. Where can He be?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>He's there, in his study, scratching paper.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/086.gif" width="530" height="241" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>He's always doing that. It's a game. +Two-Paws play at the same thing for hours +and hours. I've often tried to scratch +paper gently, as He does, but the pleasure +doesn't last long. I prefer newspapers torn +into shreds that rustle and fly ... There is +a little pot of dark-violet, muddy water on +his table. I never sniff it without horror, +since the day a rather foolish curiosity made +me dip my paw into it. This very paw, so +strong and aristocratic, (the tufts of useless +hair you see between my toes proclaim the +purity of my race) this very paw bore a +bluish stain for eight days and the degrading +odor of rusty steel clung to it a long time +after ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>What's the little pot for?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>He drinks from it doubtless.</p> + +<p>(<i>Silence</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>She's not back yet! Heaven grant She +isn't lost, as I was one day in the streets of +Paris!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I'm hungry!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I'm hungry! What are we going to eat +this evening?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I saw a chicken. It made a silly noise +and dropped red blood on the kitchen floor, +soiling it far more than I ever did, or you +either—yet no one whipped it. But Emily +put it in the fire, to teach it a lesson. I +licked up some of the blood ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>yawns</i>)</p> + +<p>Chicken ... it makes my mouth water. +She'll say: "Here Toby, bones!" and +throw me the carcass.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>How badly you speak! He says: "Little +chicken bones, Kiki, little chicken bones!"</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>surprised</i>)</p> + +<p>But no <i>really</i> it's, "Here, Toby, bones!" +that She says.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>He speaks better than She does.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>incompetent</i>)</p> + +<p>Ah? ... Tell me, do birds taste anything +like chicken?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>whose eyes light up +suddenly</i>)</p> + +<p>No ... they're far better, they're alive. +Ha, the quivering bird, the warm feathers, +the delicious little brain ... you feel it all +crackling between your teeth!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Oh, you make me sick! It always worries +me to see tiny animals like that flutter about +... and birds are dear, good little things. + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>dryly</i>)</p> + +<p>Don't you believe it, they're only good +to eat. They're noisy, stupid creatures, infatuated +with themselves, <i>made</i> to be eaten. + ... You know the two jays? + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Not very well.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/089a.gif" width="491" height="226" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>They live in the little wood. When I +walk by they laugh a sardonic "tiac, tiac," +because I wear a bell at my neck. In vain +do I hold my head very stiffly and put my +paws down <i>very</i> gently, my bell tinkles and +the two creatures scream from the top of the +fir-tree. Just let me get hold of them, one +of these days! ...</p> + +<p>(<i>He lays back his ears and +raises the hair along his +back</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/089b.gif" width="485" height="207" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>pensive</i>)</p> + +<p>Positively, Cat, there are times when I +don't know you. We are talking quietly and +suddenly you bristle like a bottle-brush; +or we happen to be playing amicably together +and I bark behind your back—bow, +wow-wow!--just for fun; then,—one +doesn't know why, perhaps because my nose +has grazed the long hairs on your legs you're +so proud of—you become all at once a savage +beast, spitting fire, and charging at me +like a strange dog. Don't you think that +shows a bad character?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/090.gif" width="567" height="238" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>mysterious, eyes half-closed</i>)</p> + +<p>Not at all. It's character, simply. A +Cat's character. In such moments of irritability, +I'm keenly alive to the humiliation +of my present state, and that of my race.</p> + +<p>I can remember a time when priests in +long, linen tunics, bending low, spoke to us +and humbly tried to comprehend our chanted +utterance. Know, dog, that it is not <i>we</i> who +have changed! It may be, there are days +when I'm more myself, when everything offends +me, and justly; a brusque gesture, a +vulgar laugh, the banging of a door, your +odor, your inconceivable impudence when +you touch me, or encircle me, jumping and +yelping ...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/091.gif" width="507" height="180" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>patiently, to himself</i>)</p> + +<p>He's having one of his attacks.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>with a start</i>)</p> + +<p>Did you hear?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Yes, the kitchen door, and the door into +the dining-room ... and now the drawer +where the spoons are kept. At last! At +last! aaah! (<i>He yawns</i>.) I can't stand +this any longer. <i>Where</i> is She? I don't +hear the gravel creaking ... night's coming +on!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>ironically</i>)</p> + +<p>Go find her.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>And how about Him? He usually worries, +and comes in asking, "Where is She?" +But He's scratching still. He must have +drunk up all the violet-colored water in the +muddy little pot by this time. (TOBY <i>carefully +stretches his legs</i>.) Ah! I feel lively + ... and empty. We're going to eat soon! +Just smell the good kitchen-smells that come +under the door! ... Let's play!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Run, I'll chase, without touching you.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Why not?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I don't want to.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Oh! but you're tiresome! Watch me +jump and arch my neck like a little horse +and try to catch my stubby tail. Now I +turn 'round and 'round—and—heavens! +the whole room spins!--It's—st—opping—now.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Insufferable creature!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Insufferable yourself! Look out, I'm going +to run at you as She does, when She's +merry, crying "Ha, cat!"</p> + +<p class="center">(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, <i>without +rising, puts up a paw bristling +with claws and spotted +underneath with rose color +and black; it looks like a +thorny flower</i>.)</p> + +<p>If you dare! ...</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/093.gif" width="521" height="411" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>in a frenzy</i>)</p> + +<p>I do dare! Bow-wow-wow! Ha, cat! ha, +cat!</p> + +<p>(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, <i>exasperated, +gives a spring and +hangs on the table-cloth, +slowly dragging it down. +A lamp and various things +fall to the ground. Terrified +silence. The two animals, +crouching under an +arm-chair, await punishment</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">HE <i>appears at the study door, holding +a pen, like a bit, between his teeth</i>.</p> + +<p>Thunder and blitzen! What is it now? +This cursed menagerie has overturned everything! +Where's your Mistress? What a +place this is to be sure! Dinner never on +time! ... (etc., etc., etc....)</p> + +<p>(<i>The two guilty ones, who +well know the harmlessness +of such outbursts, laugh +quietly to themselves and +lying flat as bed-room slippers, +look at one another +through the fringes of the +chair. The garden gate +opens</i>.</p> + +<p>SHE <i>comes in carrying a +basket, full of fragrant +plums; her hands are sticky +from their sugariness, her +hair tumbled</i>. SHE <i>stands +horrified, before the disaster</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/095.gif" width="467" height="383" /></p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>Oh! They've been fighting again, have +they? (<i>Without conviction</i>.) Dear <i>me,</i> +what nasty creatures! I'll give them away! +I'll sell them!!--I'll <i>kill</i> them!!!</p> + +<p>(<i>But the cat and dog, groveling +in exaggerated humility, +crawl up to her, and +speak together</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Purr-rr-rr!...There you are!...It's +very late...Toby attacked me; it's he +who's broken everything. I believe he went +mad from hunger.... You smell good, of +grass and the twilight. You sat down on +some wild thyme. Come!...Tell your +Master to carry me on his shoulder—the +meat will be overdone, I'm afraid. You'll +carve the chicken very quickly, won't you, +and you'll keep the browned skin for me? If +you wish I'll stretch out my paw like a spoon, +which knows how to take up the littlest morsels, +and carry them to my mouth with that +human gesture that makes you laugh so—you +and He.... Come!</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/096.gif" width="498" height="303" align="right" /></p> +<br clear="all" /> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Hiii ... hiii ... there you are at last! +I'm so unhappy when you're away. You +banished me ... you didn't love me ... +The lamp fell down all by itself ... Come! +I'm awfully hungry, but I'll gladly go without +dinner, if you'll promise to take me with +you always wherever you go ... yes, even +out in the twilight, though it makes me sad, +I'll willingly follow you there ... my nose +close, close to the hem of your dress....</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>disarmed and quite indifferent to the +cataclysm</i>)</p> + +<p>Do look how pretty they are!</p> + + + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/097.gif" width="303" height="210" /></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<a name="SHE_IS_ILL"></a> + +<h2><b>SHE IS ILL</b></h2> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/100a.gif" width="197" height="245" align="left"/></p> +<br clear="left" /> +<p><i>A bed-room in the country-house; autumnal +sunshine filters in through closed blinds</i>. +SHE <i>lies on a couch, apparently asleep, +dressed in a white woolen gown</i>. KIKI-THE-DEMURE +<i>makes his toilet on a narrow +console-table</i>. TOBY-DOG, <i>on the carpet, +in a sphinx-like attitude, watches</i> HER +<i>and at the same time, is attentive to the +words of his master, who is leaving the +room on tip-toe.</i></p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/100b.gif" width="363" height="152" align="right"/></p> + + +<p class="center">HE, (<i>in a very low voice to the two animals</i>)</p> + +<p>Sh! Don't wake her. Be good. I'm going +downstairs, to write.</p> + +<p>(<i>He closes the door noiselessly +after him</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>to</i> KIKI-THE-DEMURE)</p> + +<p>What did He say?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I don't know. Something vague. Directions, +like: stay there, good-by.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>He said, "'Sh!" <i>I'm</i> not making any noise.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>ironically</i>)</p> + +<p>They're astonishing! They say "no +noise," and thereupon walk off with a step a +deaf rat could hear two miles away.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Some truth in that. (<i>He looks at the +sleeping figure on the couch</i>.) Her face still +looks very small. She's asleep. If you +jump down from that table don't land with +a big thump.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>stiffly</i>)</p> + +<p>Ah, you're teaching me to jump now, are +you? Oh, worthy counselor! (<i>quoting</i>) Put +a beggar in your barn and he'll make himself +your heir.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>What's that?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Nothing. An Oriental proverb. If I +wished, dog, to disturb the silence of this +room I'd be clever enough to choose a rickety +chair; its feet would pound out a regular +tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc, in time with my +tongue as I washed myself. It's a means +I've invented to gain my liberty. Tic-toc, +tic-toc, says the chair. She happens to be +reading or writing, is easily irritated, and +cries, "Be quiet, Kiki!" But I go on unconscious +of any wrong-doing; tic-toc, tic-toc. +She jumps up distracted and opens +the door wide for me: slowly, like one exiled, I +cross its threshold and once outside, laugh +to find myself so superior to them all.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>who hasn't been listening, +yawns</i>)</p> + +<p>What a sad week, eh? I don't know what +it is to take a walk any more. I haven't +taken any pleasure in eating either, since She +fell from her horse.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Heavens, one can love people and care for +one's stomach too.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>with ardor</i>)</p> + +<p>Not I! When She screamed and fell from +her horse, I felt the heart crack inside me.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>That affair couldn't have ended otherwise. +One doesn't go climbing up on a horse! People +don't do such things! I see nothing but +extravagance around me. To begin +with, a horse is a fearful monstrosity.</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/104.gif" width="144" height="224" align="right" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>indignantly</i>)</p> + +<p>Did one ever hear the like!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>peremptorily</i>)</p> + +<p>I happen to have had the opportunity of +making a very close study of one....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>aside</i>)</p> + +<p>He makes me laugh!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +... It was the farmer's horse that grazed +in the meadow. My life, for a whole month, +was embittered by that roving mountain. +Lying under the hedge, I could see his heavy +feet disfiguring the ground. I breathed his +vulgar odor and heard his strident cry shaking +the air. Once when he was eating the +lower twigs of the hedge, I saw myself—the +whole of me—reflected in one of his +eyes! I fled ... and from that day my hatred +was so strong that I wildly hoped to +annihilate the monster. I'll go up to him, +thought I, I'll plant myself firmly in front +of him, and the desire of his death will be +so strong in my eyes, that perhaps, he'll die +when he meets my look... + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>diverted</i>)</p> + +<p>And then?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>continuing</i>)</p> + +<p>I carried out my plan. But the horse I +had waited for in fear and trembling, just +blew through his nostrils a long jet of foul-smelling +vapor, and <i>I</i> fell back in atrocious +convulsions.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>Inwardly writhing with laughter</i>)</p> + +<p>You don't exaggerate?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>serious</i>)</p> + +<p>Never! And She must needs go climbing +on a horse's back, holding fast to four +cords, one leg this side and the other that. ... Strange aberration! + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>We don't think alike, Cat. For me, the +horse is, after man, the most beautiful thing +in the world.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>vexed</i>)</p> + +<p>And where do I come in?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>evasive and courteous</i>)</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/106.gif" width="188" height="212" align="right" /></p> + +<p>Oh, you're a <i>Cat</i>. But a horse, and with +Her on his back! What a beautiful picture +they make, high up in the blue air! +To gaze on it, I have to throw my head 'way +back on my thick neck. The horse lends +her his speed. Now at last, She can race +with me when I go off on a mad run. Sometimes +I'm ahead, ears floating back and +tongue hanging out like a little flag—the +angular shadow of the horse on the road in +front. If I follow her, a fragrant dust +blows back at me. It smells of warm leather, +moist beast, and a little of her own perfume +too. The road runs under me, like a +ribbon that someone is pulling. Oh, what +joy it is to be so little and so swift, running +along in the shadow of a great galloping +horse! When we halt, I pant like a motor, +between the legs of my friend, who snorts +and in the kindliest way puts down his fettered +mouth and sprinkles me ...</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/107.gif" width="527" height="510" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I know, I know! The horse "with long +mane ashake; hoofs, heavy with tumult; +eyes, glimmering white." ...You are the +last of the Romanticists.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I'm not the last of the Romanticists. I'm +a little bull-dog that came into the world +one evening, almost under the feet of a chestnut +mare. She didn't lie down all night +long, she was so afraid of crushing my +mother and her puppies. A little bull-dog +like me is almost the child of a horse. I lay +in the warm straw against her warm flanks, +I drank out of the stable pails. I used to +get up when I heard the sound of hoofs +coming in and I took an interest in the +washing of the carriages, until the day +She came and picked me out—<i>me</i>, the best-looking, +the most snub-nosed, the stockiest of +the litter. (<i>Sighing</i>.) And there She lies, +so dreadfully quiet! It makes me sad to see +her with that little cloth still 'round her +ankle. You remember when He picked her +up in his arms? He held her—and She's a +lot bigger than I am—just as if She were +a little dog that he was going to drown....</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/108.gif" width="273" height="245" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>bitterly</i>)</p> + +<p>I remember. I was at the top of the +stairs irritated by the noise, but curious. +He came up and pushed me aside with his +foot, as he would have done if a piece of +furniture had happened to be in his way.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Is that why you stayed away from this +room—her room—for three whole days?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>hesitating</i>)</p> + +<p>Yes ... and for another reason too.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>What reason?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Because of the fever.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>carried away by his love</i>)</p> + +<p>Her fever smells better than other peoples' +good health!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>shrugging his shoulders</i>)</p> + +<p>And they talk of a dog's scent! Truly +the convictions of Two-Paws are based upon +childish fables. You know of course that +fever—</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>in a low tone</i>)</p> + +<p>Makes one afraid, yes.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>in a low tone</i>)</p> + +<p>Makes one afraid, gives one cold shivers +down one's back, distaste for everything and +uneasiness all over. One hesitates on the +threshold of a room where there is fever, +searching fearfully some hidden thing.... +She was in bed and burning hot. I looked at +her a long time, ready to run, saying to myself: +"Who can be with her there—behind +the curtains—who is it stifles and torments +her and makes her moan in her sleep?"</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>frightened retrospectively</i>)</p> + +<p>There wasn't anyone, was there?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No one but He—and the fever. He, the +most intelligent of Two-Paws, was leaning +over her listening to her breathing, dimly +aware of an invisible presence. I overcame +my aversion and looked at her. I was melancholy +and jealous. He must love her, +thought I, to go so near and defend her, +to kiss her, imbued as She is with the evil +charm. Would He hold me to his heart, if +I—</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>imperatively</i>)</p> + +<p>'Sh!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>What?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/112.gif" width="574" height="246" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>She stirred.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>alert, looking at her</i>)</p> + +<p>No ... She didn't stir, but her thoughts +did. I felt them. Continue.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>who has recovered his +equanimity</i>)</p> + +<p>I don't know now what we were talking +about.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>The fev—</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>quickly</i>)</p> + +<p>Enough. Don't recall it. Fever is the +beginning of the thing one never speaks of.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>shivering</i>)</p> + +<p>Yes, I know.... I don't like an animal +that can't move. You know what I mean ...</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>laughing cruelly</i>)</p> + +<p>Nor do I. I can only eat live birds, and +as for the tiny mice, I prefer to swallow +them, squeak and all ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Why does it amuse you to horrify me? +You've a certain vanity that I can't understand. +It consists in exaggerating cruelties +that are already real enough. You call me +the last of the Romanticists, aren't you the +first of the Sadics?</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/113.gif" width="236" height="368" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Oh dog, poisoned with literature! An +eternal misunderstanding separates us. +"I'm a little bull-dog," you replied just now, +with that stupid sincerity which disarms me. +Let me say to you in my turn, "I am a +Cat." The name is sufficient dispensation. +There is in me a hatred of pain and ugliness, +an overmastering detestation of all +that offends my sight, or my reason. When +the concierge's cat dragged around his +wounded paw, I threw myself upon him, fired +by a righteous anger, and until he stopped +his whining I—</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>supplicatingly</i>)</p> + +<p>Don't tell me!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>getting angry</i>)</p> + +<p>Understand then, once and for all—if +the pale recital of what I did upsets you—that +I wished to abolish, to annihilate in that +bleeding animal the suggestion of my own +inevitable death ...</p> + +<p>(<i>They are quiet for a little +while</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>shuddering</i>)</p> + +<p>This confinement does us no good. I +would gladly go out into the soft sunshine +and do "the bayadeer's dance," as He +calls it, on the dry gravel among the leaves, +which look like fried potatoes. Everything +is yellow out-of-doors. My green eyes would +reflect the golden sun and the flaming woods +and so turn yellow too. ... Now I'll think +only of what is joyous and yellow, the beautiful, +cold Autumn, the rosy dawn that leaves +its colors in the foliage of the cherry-tree + ... Come, let's prove the strength of our +legs and enjoy to the full the consciousness +that youth has only just begun for us ... +Who knows, death may never come ...</p> + +<p>(<i>He jumps down from the +console-table, without making +the least noise</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>stopping him</i>)</p> + +<p>What are you going to do?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Scratch at the door, and strike up the +"Hymn of the Sequestered Cat."</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/115.gif" width="188" height="449" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>indicating the figure on the +couch</i>)</p> + +<p>And doubtless waken Her?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>stubbornly</i>)</p> + +<p>I'll sing in a very small voice.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>And you'll scratch with your tiniest claws, +I suppose? Stay here quietly, He commanded +it when He went away.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>loftily</i>)</p> + +<p>Does He command me? He beseeches me, +and that's my only reason for obeying him.</p> + +<p>(<i>He sits down again, apparently +resigned, and yawns +slowly</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>yawning</i>)</p> + +<p>You make me yawn.</p> + + + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>On the contrary, it's you who bore me. +(<i>Temptingly</i>.) You're thinking what a +good thing freedom is, aren't you? ... A +hen has probably escaped from the chicken +yard—what sport you're missing!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>You really think so?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I said: probably.... Have you finished +exploring that rabbit's hole?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/117.gif" width="347" height="148" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>disturbed</i>)</p> + +<p>No ... it's so very deep! I almost buried +myself, hollowing it out yesterday. The +earth that stuck to my muzzle had some of +the animal's fur in it ...</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>more and more satanic</i>)</p> + +<p>I suppose you'll finish that to-morrow ... +or some other day.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>sadly</i>)</p> + +<p>Why not say next year, while you're +about it?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>What's the matter with you? Your shiny +black lip hangs down an ell, and your froggy +eyes glitter with tears. Are you crying?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>sniffling</i>)</p> + +<p>No ...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/118.gif" width="375" height="144" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Poor, sensitive heart, console yourself. +You'll have your pleasures and your friends +again. At this very moment the farmer's +dog is crunching bones in the kitchen ... +to beguile the long wait for you.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>overcome</i>)</p> + +<p>Oh! oh! the farmer's dog!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>She's not alone either; that great dane, +the watch-dog, keeps her company.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>rebellious</i>)</p> + +<p>That's not true!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Go see.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>after one bound toward the +door</i>)</p> + +<p>No, that would make noise.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>You're right, it would.</p> + +<p>(<i>A mournful silence follows</i>. +TOBY <i>curls himself up like +a turban and closes his +eyes, because he feels like +crying. His breath comes +in little sobs</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>absently, in a low, monotonous +chant</i>.)</p> + +<p>The dog ... the little dog ... the +bones, the little dog ... the rabbit ... +the great dane, the rabbit's hole...the +little dog, the mutton bones...the rabbit's +skin...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG <i>at first endures +the torture heroically; then +his nerves betray him and +lifting his head he howls—the +long plaint of the abandoned +dog</i>.</p> + +<p>Wooo—oo—oooooo!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>from the top of the console-table</i>)</p> + +<p>Will you be quiet!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Wooooooooo!!--oo—oooo—oo!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>aside</i>)</p> + +<p>That's it! That's it!</p> + +<p>(SHE <i>wakes bewildered, still +captive of her dreams, while +the Cat listens patiently to +the approaching step on the +stairs, which means liberty +for him and punishment for</i> +TOBY-DOG.)</p> + + + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/121.gif" width="487" height="453" /></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<a name="THE_FIRST_FIRE"></a> +<h2><b>THE FIRST FIRE</b></h2> + + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/124.gif" width="531" height="345" /></p> + +<p><i>Because it is raining and an October wind +chases wet leaves through the air, She has +lit the first fire of the season in the great +chimney-place</i>. KIKI-THE-DEMURE <i>and</i> +TOBY-DOG, <i>in ecstasy, side by side on a +corner of the warm hearth-stone, contemplate +the flame with dazzled eyes and address +their meditations to it</i>.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>looking very like a cushion; +no paws visible</i>)</p> + +<p>Oh Fire, how splendid you are! You +have come back more beautiful than my +memory of you! You are hotter and nearer +than the sun! The pupils of my eyes contract +in your light, their lids half close, +modestly hiding the joy I feel at seeing you +again, and my inscrutable countenance shows +but the semblance of a thought painted there +in fawn color and black.... Your crackling +drowns the soft sound of my purr. Don't +snap too much. Be merciful, O inconstant +Fire! Don't sputter sparks on my fur. +Allow me to adore you without fear ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>half baked; eyes blood-shot; +tongue pendant</i>)</p> + +<p>Fire! Divine Fire! Here you are again! +I am still very young, but I remember how +awe-struck I was the first time Her hand +woke you in this same chimney-place. The +sight of a god as mysterious as you are +was most impressive to a baby-dog just out +of the maternal stable. Oh Fire, I've not +quite gotten over my fear! Hiii!... You +spit at me, something red that smarts ... +I'm afraid ... Well, it's gone now.</p> + +<p>How beautiful you are, Fire! Out from +your ruddy center shoot tatters and shreds +of gold, sudden spurts of blue, and smoke +that twists upwards and draws queer shapes +of beasts ... Oh, but I'm hot! Gently, +gently, sovereign Fire, see how my truffle +of a nose is drying up and cracking, and +my ears—are they not ablaze? I adjure +thee with suppliant paw. I groan ... ah + ... I can endure it no longer! ... (<i>He +turns away</i>.) Nothing is ever perfect. The +east wind coming under the door nips my +hind-legs. Well, it can't be helped! I'll +freeze behind if I must, provided I can adore +you face to face.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I am a Cat and therefore aware of all +that you bring in your train, O Fire! I +foresee winter; its coming both troubles and +pleases me. I've already begun to thicken +and embellish my fur-coat in its honor, the +darker stripes are becoming black, my white +tippet swells into a dazzling boa, and the fur +on my belly surpasses in beauty anything +that has ever been seen. What shall I say +of my tail, broad as a club, with alternate +rings of fawn-color and black, or of the sensitive, +priceless aigrettes which spring from +my ears? My ear-rings She calls them.... +What cat could resist me! Ah! the January +nights, the serenades under a frosty +moon, the dignified wait on the pinnacle +of a roof, the encounter with a rival cat on +the narrow top of a wall!... But I feel +quite sure of my superior strength. I'll +swish my tail, put back my ears, sniff tragically +as one does before vomiting, and then lift +up my voice—its modulations are infinite. +I'll make it strong enough to waken all the +sleeping Two-Paws. I'll vociferate, I'll +whimper, pacing up and down the garden, +my body distended, my legs bent outward, +feigning madness to terrify the tom-cats!</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/127.gif" width="550" height="383" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I know something of the changes and +pleasures you foretell, Fire—for I'm a Dog. +Already, it is raining in the garden. I suppose +it's raining on the road too, and in +the woods. The falling drops are not warm, +as they were in the summer storms when my +truffle, gray with dust, delighted in the +damp smell that came from the west. The +sky is troubled and the wind has grown +strong enough to blow my ears out straight, +like little flags. A sharp cry, such as I +make when I beg, comes under the door. +You'll be shining here every day, Fire; but +I'll have to suffer for the right to worship +you. For She'll continue to wander about, +her head covered with the pointed hood which +changes her so, that it frightens me. She'll +put on wooden shoes too, and carelessly +crush the puddles, the little heaps of mud, +and the weeping mosses. I'll follow her, +since I've promised to do so my life long +(and also because I can't help it), I'll follow +her, a forlorn and piteous object, shining +wet, my belly covered with mud, until, +through very excess of misery I'll forget, +and ramble in the coppice, interested in +every undulation of the grass, eager to revive +the drowned scents in it.... She'll become +communicative when she sees me hurrying +along and we'll talk: "Ha, Toby-Dog," +she'll say, "ha! ha! a bird! There on +the branch! Look! you booby! Now he's +gone." She'll condole with me then, until +I'm on the verge of tears. "Oh, my little +black boy, my sympathetic cylinder, my +batrachian love, how cold you are, how wet, +how sad, how you suffer, oooo!" And before +I'm able to judge of the sincerity of her +pity, the tears will overflow, my throat contract, +and we'll wail in unison....</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/128.gif" width="536" height="227" /></p> + +<p>Ah, but what delirious joy when the capricious +wooden shoes turn again toward the +house, hurrying to rejoin Him whom we've +left scratching paper! They don't go half +fast enough for me then! I jump 'round +her, barking with delight to see the hill diminishing, +our climb at an end, to smell the +good stable smell and that of burning wood +as we near the house. At last you shine +forth, O Fire, O Sun, through the misty window +pane!... I shall hardly have crossed +the threshold when an overpowering sleepiness +will dash me to the floor in front of +you—you, who will reduce the mud on my +belly to fine powder and change the water of +the roads to smoky vapor.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>A delightful glow penetrates my coat to +the silky down, the impalpable colorless +threads which protect my delicate skin. I +feel myself swelling like a cloud. I must +quite fill the room. My whiskers seem +charged with electricity—a sign that I will +sleep—but for the time being, the contemplation +of your splendor and thoughts of the +coming season keep me awake. It's raining. +I shall not go out. I'll wait for the sun, or +the dry wind, or better still, the frost. Ah, +how the biting cold stimulates me! It lashes +my lungs with handfuls of needles, and makes +a <i>bonbon glacé</i> of my charming nose. The +rollicking frost-sprite will blow his madness +into me. She'll laugh and He too, +leaving his scratching-paper, to see me vie +with the leaves in bounds, leaps and wild +whirlings, resembling a floating flurry of +gray smoke rather than a Cat. To the top +of a tree! Down again! Then seven turns +after my tail! A perilous backward leap! +A vertical jump, with aerial <i>danse du ventre</i>! +Girations, sneezes, careering from the real +to the dream, until in terror of myself, I +come to a sudden stop.... Everything +turns before my eyes. I'm the center of a +strange, spinning world ... In my bewilderment +(half-feigned) I'll make a little moo, +like a cow, which will bring them both running +to me,—She laughing, and He fearing +something wrong. That will suffice to sober +me, and with a bold front and noble mien, I'll +regain this cushion near your altar, O Fire!</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/131.gif" width="473" height="324" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + + +<p>This hearth-stone burns the horny pads of +my feet. What shall I do? Move away? +never! I'll toast to death rather than give +up this redoubtable bliss. Heaven prevent +Her coming, now! I've reason to fear the lash +of the whip, and the magic words which mean +exile: "Toby! that's stupid! I forbid you +to roast yourself. You'll have sore eyes, +and catch cold when you go out." That's +what She says, while I regard her with a +stupid look of utter devotion. But She's +never duped by it. I hear noises upstairs, +her step coming and going ... I wonder is +her vagabond fancy wearied at last? +<img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/133.gif" width="513" height="263" align="left"/> +This +morning She whistled to me and in my haste +to obey her, I rolled to the bottom of the +stairs—being low and thick-set, with short +legs, no nose, and almost no tail to balance +me. Well, we set off. The last apples were +rocking to-and-fro on swaying branches. +My happy voice, a joyful shout from her now +and then, the vain crowing of the cocks, the +creaking of wagons on the road—all these +sounds floated on a bluish, cottony, suffocating +fog. She took me far, and many +marvelous things happened on our way. We +met terrible giant dogs. My proud bearing +seemed to exasperate them, but I kept +them back with a single look (besides, a +closed iron gate rendered them powerless). +I chased a rabbit into the thicket, though +She cried loudly: "I forbid you to touch +the little animal!" ... My mother certainly +gave me swift legs but they're short, +and the white end of the little beast kept far +ahead. A bush covered with red berries detained +us a very long time. She sees no objection +to eating strange things and I can +truthfully say that I always taste everything +She offers me, for I've great faith in her. +But this morning—"Eat, Toby, nice berries. +Eat! here are some rose-hips. Oh +stupid! how can you not dote upon their +delicious flavor? I assure you these are +comfits of Mother Nature's making." In +deference to her, I chewed a reddish ball; +there were some rough hairs on it—put +there doubtless by her teasing hand—and +what was bound to happen, did happen ... Khaha! +My throat rejected the nasty "rosehip."...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/134.gif" width="557" height="156" /></p> + +<p>But listen, Fire, what I saw after that, +passes <i>my</i> understanding. It was in a wood +where stiff leaves rustled. Had She carried +you under her cloak, or do gods like +you come at her bidding? I saw her hands +pile up the wood, arrange flat stones in some +mysterious fashion, and then, Fire, I saw +the sparks flash and your joyous soul palpitate, +grow big, soar naked and rose-colored, +veil itself in smoke, snap noisily (for +yours is a belligerent soul), agonize—and +disappear.... The world is full of incomprehensible +things....</p> + +<p>Last of all, on our way back, I discovered +near the park gate—saw it before She +did—one of those invincible beasts called +hedge-hogs, the mere sight of which brings +us dogs to bay. What madness to realize +that an animal is hiding under that pin-cushion +and laughing at me, and that I can +do nothing, <i>nothing</i>! I implored her—She +can do nearly everything—to pluck +him for me. She began by turning him +over with a little stick, as if he were a horse +chestnut. "Astonishing," said She, "I +can't find the top of him!" Then She took +one of his spines between two fingers and +carried him home that way—I dancing behind +her—and put him in her work basket. +After a while the horrid beast unrolled himself, +stuck out a pig-like nose, opened two +shiny rat's eyes and raised himself, holding +fast by his little paws, which were exactly +like a mole's. "How pretty he is," +She cried, "a real little black pig." I +stood near the table groaning with covetousness, +but She didn't pluck him for me, +not then, or ever, and perhaps the cook ate +him.... This cat's a dissembler. Maybe +<i>he</i>... But away with care! I'm too excitable! +I mustn't let myself think of these +things. Life is beautiful, O Fire, since you +illumine it ... I'm going to sleep ... Watch +over my unconscious body ... I'm +going ... to sleep....</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/135.gif" width="527" height="236" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/137.gif" width="399" height="261" /></p> + +<p>One would think me asleep because the +narrow slit made by my parted eyelids, +seems but the continuation of that velvety +line, that bold crayon-stroke, a sort of +Oriental make-up, uniting my eyelids and my +ears. But I'm awake, keeping watch like +a yogi, in a state of blissful ankylosis, conscious +of all that's going on around me.... +My privileged eyes, Fire, do but behold you +better when they're closed and I can count +the various essences you mingle in a sparkling +bouquet. Here in a flame of mauve-color +and blue, glows the soul of a branch +of arbor-vitae. Yesterday it waved a +plume-like shadow on the garden walk ... To-day, +with its delicate twigs, it is but a +writhing skeleton. She cut it with one stroke +of the pruning scissors. Why? That it +might breathe out its fervent blue and +mauve-colored soul? For like me, She delights +in your dance, Fire, and chastises +you when you're quiet, with a stern pair of +tongs. Sitting there with her head bent +and her arms hanging along her sides, what +does She read, I wonder, in that fiery rose +which is the labyrinthian heart of you?... +She knows a great deal certainly, but not as +much as a Cat.</p> + +<p>That thick tear on the log represents the +anguish of a very old fir-tree, killed by the +assiduous ivy. Just a short time ago I saw +it struck down, lying on the grass, its foliage +looking like a beautiful head of reddish +hair. I saw the axe that felled it, too. +Its trunk weeps tears of resin, which trail +along in drivel, then change to heavy, creeping +flame. But the dry red locks break into +lines of living fire, whistle and shoot innumerable +jets of many colors underneath a +broad gold wave that rolls voluptuously....</p> + +<!--<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/139.gif" width="416" height="313" /></p>--> + +<p>Ah, love ... hunting ... fighting.... It's +your light, Fire, that discovers these passions +in the depths of my being. It's time +the little winged creatures searching withered +berries came near. I'll have them +soon! I'll watch, motionless in the brushwood, +wildly wishing that the earth itself +might hide me, the muscles of my legs twitching +with desire to make the spring, my chin +trembling.... Then, if I don't betray my +hiding-place by an irrepressible quavering, +frightening them away in one great commotion +of wings and rustling branches!... +But no, I'm master of myself. One bound at +exactly the right moment and my feeble +prey is panting under me. Oh, the ridiculous +effort of a weak animal—its tiny ineffectual +claws and pointed wings beating +against my face! My jaws will open to the +splitting point and my perfect nose wrinkle +ferociously, for the joy of holding a living, +terrified body. I'll know the intoxication of +battle! I'll prance victoriously, shaking my +head to torment the bird a little, for it +faints away too soon between my teeth! +Terrible to see I'll gallop towards the house, +singing in a strangled voice, without loosening +my grip, for He must stop his scratching +to admire me, and She must give chase with +distracted cries: "Wicked, savage cat! +Drop that bird! drop that bird!! Oh, I beg +of you! It hurts me so...." Ha! She +never can have hunted....</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/140.gif" width="398" height="172" /></p> + +<p>I intend to astonish the world, Fire, during +Winter's reign. The Cat that lives at +the farm (She says the farmer's cat, +while we say the Cat's farmer), the fellow +that's so badly dressed, disfigured by the +nose of a weasel, and seems to walk on +stilts, his legs are so long—well, he sharpens +his claws and regards me the while. +Patience! He's strong, brutal, irresolute, +and utterly lacks distinction. The slamming +of a door terrifies him; he puts back +his ears and flies, panic-stricken. Still, I've +seen him kill a good-sized hen, without making +any fuss about it. For a glance of the +young cat's deceitful eyes, or right of precedence +on the garden wall, for a word of +double meaning, for nothing, but the fun +of the thing—I'll take my chances with +him! He'll learn that a mysterious silence +can demoralize the enemy quite as effectively +as murderous cries. The low garden wall +seems to me a convenient place. Let him +try his hoarse miauling in all possible keys! +May his unsightly face, and more hideous +body dislocate itself in a deceitful ataxia +(for they're still at these old tricks)! I'll +be proof against it all, and merely flash +the green magnetism of my magnificent eyes +upon him. His brows will fall under +their persistent insult, a shudder will run +along his spine, he'll do a few steps of +our ancient war dance—forward, back, forward +again. But I'll stand—motionless +as the statue of a Cat. The green witchcraft +of my gaze will strike terror and madness +into my rival and soon I'll see him +writhe, utter false cries, and, as a last resource, +try to balance himself on the nape +of his neck, like a forked pear tree, only to +roll over shamefully into the potato field....</p> + +<p>All that will come to pass, Fire, exactly +as I've told it. To-day the future dawns in +your new flame.... I'm growing drowsy.... +My purr and your crackling are ceasing +together.... I see you still and already +I catch glimpses of my dreams.... The +silky sound of the rain against the window +is soft as a caress, and the water-pipe on the +roof sobs low like a pigeon....</p> + +<p>Don't go out during my nap, Fire. Remember, +you're the guardian of my august +repose—that delicate death, known as a +Cat's sleep....</p> + + + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/144.gif" width="423" height="499" /></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<a name="THE_STORM"></a><h2><b>THE STORM</b></h2> +<br /> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/148.gif" width="636" height="390" /></p> + +<p><i>A suffocating summer's day in the country. +The blinds of the house are half closed. +Not a sound is heard from within; not a +murmur from the parched garden, where +even the sensitive leaves of the mimosa +hang motionless</i>.</p> + +<p>KIKI-THE-DEMURE <i>and</i> TOBY-DOG <i>begin +to feel uncomfortably conscious of the coming +storm, which is yet but a slate-blue +plinth thickly painted at the bottom of the +dull blue sky-wall.</i></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>restlessly lying first on one +side, then on the other</i>)</p> + +<p>No use! I can't be comfortable. What +does this heat mean anyway? I must be +sick. It began at breakfast; I didn't like +the meat and sniffed disdainfully at my dog-biscuit. +Something awful is going to happen. +I haven't done anything wrong that I +know of—my conscience is clear—and yet, +I'm suffering. There lies my chum, shivering +and unable to sleep. I know by his quick +breathing that he feels just as I do.... I +say, Cat?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>irritably, in a low tone</i>)</p> + +<p>Be quiet!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>What? You're listening to some noise?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No! <i>Heavens</i>, no! Don't mention noise. +The mere sound of your voice makes the skin +on my back go in waves like the sea.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG (<i>frightened</i>)</p> + +<p>Are you going to die?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I hope not. I've a sick headache. Can't +you see the arteries throbbing under the almost +hairless skin of my temples—the transparent, +bluish skin that denotes a thoroughbred? +It's atrocious! The veins on +my forehead are like writhing vipers, and +I don't know <i>what</i> gnome forges in my +brain! Oh, be quiet! Or at least speak so +low that the coursing of my agitated blood +may drown the sound of your voice....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>But it's this very silence that oppresses +me. I tremble and don't know why. I long +for the familiar voice of the wind in the +chimney, the slamming of doors, the whispering +of the garden, the poplars' ceaseless +rustle—it always sounds like a trickling +spring—</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>The uproar will come, soon enough.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Do you think so? I wish He'd scratch +paper. It's an idle habit but an honored one. +And see how listless She is, there in her +wicker chair. Their silence frightens me +more than anything. She seems asleep, but +I can see her eyelashes move and the tips of +her fingers, too. She's forgetting to play +with the little balls of thread and doesn't +sing, or whistle. She suffers just as we do.... +Do you think this can be the end of the +world, Cat?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>No. It's a storm. Heavens! how uncomfortable +I am! If I could only get out +of my skin, cast off this fleece which is +smothering me, fling myself naked as a +skinned mouse into a fresher atmosphere! +Oh Dog, you cannot see the sparks that +make every separate hair on my body +crackle, but I feel them. Don't come near! +A blue flame is going to shoot out of me....</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/152.gif" width="580" height="175" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>shuddering</i>)</p> + +<p>Things are coming to an awful pass! +(<i>He drags himself to the porch</i>.) <i>What</i> +have they done to the out-of-doors? Look! +the trees are all blue and the grass glistens +like a sheet of water. What mournful sunlight! +It shines white on the slate roofs, +and the little houses over there on the hill +look like brand new tombstones. A heavy +odor, like bitter almond, creeps from the +white bell-shaped blossoms of the daturas, +and makes me feel sick and faint. Far +away, some smoke, heavy as the perfume +of the daturas, goes slowly up in a straight +line and falls again—like a broken aigrette.... +But come and see for yourself!</p> + +<p>(KIKI-THE-DEMURE <i>walks falteringly +to the porch</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>My word, <i>you're</i> changed too, Cat! You +look as if you were starving, your face is +so drawn. Your fur is plastered down in +some places and sticking up in others; gives +you the expression of a weasel that had tumbled +into oil.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Don't let that worry you! I'll regain my +dignity—if ever another day dawns for us. +To-day, I drag myself around unwashed, +uncombed, like a woman out of love with love, +and life....</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>You say such distressing things. I think +I'll whine and call for help. Perhaps I'd +better go to Her, and look in her face for +the comfort you refuse me. But She seems +asleep now, in that wicker chair, and how can +I read my fate in her eyes, when their lids +are down. I'll lick her hand very respectfully +and ever so lightly! That will wake +her and oh, may her first caress drive away +the evil charm!</p> + +<p>(<i>He licks the hand hanging +at the side of the chair</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>with a scream</i>)</p> + +<p>Heavens! how you frightened me! Was +there ever such a ninny as this Dog? +There!...</p> + +<p>(SHE <i>administers a smart +rap on the nose</i>. TOBY'S +<i>nerves give way and he +howls loud and long</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">SHE</p> + +<p>Quiet! Not a word I say! Out of my +sight! I don't know what's the matter, but +I hate you! And that Cat sitting there, +looking at me, like a bump on a log!...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/154.gif" width="273" height="293" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>bristling</i>)</p> + +<p>If She dares to touch me, I'll devour her!</p> + +<p>(<i>Just at this dangerous crisis +a low rumbling is heard, +distant and then near. +Impossible to tell whether +it comes from the horizon, +or arises in the house itself. +All three lose interest in +the quarrel</i>.</p> + +<p>TOBY-DOG <i>and</i> KIKI-THE-DEMURE +<i>slink away, as if +responding to a signal, +and seek shelter, one under +the bookcase and the +other under an armchair</i>. +SHE <i>turns anxiously to +the leaden-hued garden, and +the great violet bank of +cloud, which of a sudden is +riven by a blinding streak +of blue fire</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/156a.gif" width="298" height="343" /></p> + +<p class="center">SHE,TOBY-DOG, KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>all together</i>)</p> + +<p>Oh!</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/156b.gif" width="598" height="217" /></p> + +<p>(<i>A sudden crash shakes the +windows, and instantly a +great rush of wind envelopes +the house, with a noise +as of flapping canvas:—all +the garden prostrates +itself</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>in anguish</i>)</p> + +<p>Heavens! the apples!</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>invisible</i>)</p> + +<p>I'll let them cut my ears into strips +rather than leave this hiding-place!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>invisible</i>)</p> + +<p>I can't help hearing, and it's as if I saw +everything that's going on. She hastens to +close the windows. Someone is running on +the stairs. Aïe! Another awful flame—and +everything is falling in! Silence now.... +I wonder are they all dead? I'll look +through the fringes of the chair, though it's +risking my life to do so. Ah, hailstones +making holes in the leaves! Here comes the +rain, in silvery drops, wide apart, and so +heavy that the gravel wrinkles up when they +fall.</p> + +<p class="center">SHE, (<i>heart-broken</i>)</p> + +<p>I can hear the peaches falling, and the +green nuts too!</p> + +<p>(<i>All three are silent. Rain; +quivering streaks of lightning; +hissing in the pine-trees. +The wind howls. A +lull</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I'm not quite so afraid as I was. The +sound of the rain relaxes my tired nerves. +I seem to feel its streaming warmth on my +ears and the back of my neck. Now the +hubbub is further off! I can hear myself +breathe. The light coming under this bookcase, +is brighter than it was. What is She +doing? I daren't go out yet. If only the +Cat would move! (<i>He sticks out his head, +like a wary turtle. A flash of lightning +makes him draw it back again</i>.) Ha! It's +beginning all over again. Rain by the +bucketfuls against the window-panes. Something +in the chimney is trying to imitate that +far-away rumbling. Everything's falling to +pieces ... and <i>She</i> gave me a rap on the +nose!</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/158.gif" width="596" height="182" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Drop by drop, a little brownish river is +filtering under the loose window-sash. It's +stretching out and out on the floor, winding +its way over to me. I'm so hot and +thirsty, I'd like to lap up some of it. +My joints ache and my ears are tired of +standing up like weather-cocks at every +crash. My jaws are still clenched with +nervous fear. The seat of this chair is too +low; it annoys me, rubbing against the fur +on my back. However, it's some comfort to +be able to <i>think</i> of such things—thanks to +the peace that's descended on the house. +The rain is falling quietly and the wind has +gone down, but the memory of the din still +hums in my ears. What can He be doing? +The storm distresses him too. Why didn't +He come forward to calm the raging elements? +There She is, opening the porch +door. Isn't it too soon?... No, for the +hens are cackling like old maids as they hop +over the puddles. We're going to have fine +weather. Oh, the adorable smell of wet +leaves and earth refreshed! It's so new, so +pure, I seem to breathe for the first time!</p> + +<p>(<i>He creeps stealthily to the +porch</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>suddenly</i>)</p> + +<p>Um! How good! That smells like a +walk! Things change so quickly one hasn't +time to think. She's opened the door? +Let's run! (<i>He dashes out</i>.) Well! well! +the garden has got back its own color +again! A warmish vapor moistens my +rough-grained nose. I'm filled with the desire +to jump and run. The grass is reeking, +shining wet. Horned snails are feeling +around in the pink gravel with the tips of +their eyes, and speckled black and white +slugs embroider the wall with a silver ribbon. +Oh! what a beautiful green and gold +beastie running out there in the wet! Shall +I catch it? Shall I scratch its metallic shell, +until it breaks with a little crackling sound? +No. I'd rather stay near Her. She's leaning +against the door, taking deep breaths +and smiling quietly to herself. I'm <i>so</i> +happy! Something inside me feels grateful +to the whole world. The light is beautiful, +and I'm quite sure that there'll never, never +be another storm.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>I shan't wait any longer; I'm going out. +I'll find dry places between the puddles for +my dainty paws to step on. An imperceptible +thrill runs through the streaming +garden, making the jewels hung all about, +tremble and sparkle.... The slanting rays +of the setting sun find their reflection in my +eyes which are spangled with green and gold. +Down near the horizon, where the sky is still +unsettled, a glittering sword leaps up and +puts to flight the dark, fuming cloud-horses, +that have been galloping over our heads. +Now the odor of the daturas rises and perfumes +all the air, mingled with that of lemon +leaves, bruised by the hail. The roses are +crowned with midges. Oh sudden springtime! +An involuntary smile stretches the +corners of my mouth. I'm going to play at +tickling my nostrils with the point of a +sweet-smelling blade of grass, carefully +stretching my neck to avoid the falling +drops. But I want Him to follow and admire +me. Will He not come out and enjoy +himself with us?</p> + +<p>(<i>A voice is heard humming +the motif of the</i> Regensbogen: +<i>sol, si, re, sol, la, si,—all flats. +A door opens +and closes again</i>. HE <i>appears +under the dripping +foliage of vines and jasmine, +framing the veranda, +and at the same moment, a +rainbow is seen in the sky</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/163.gif" width="795" height="1035" /></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<a name="A_CALLER"></a><h2><b>A CALLER</b></h2> +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/166a.gif" width="343" height="305" align="left" /> +<br clear="all"/> + +<p>(<i>A winter's afternoon, in Paris. The studio; +a fire crackles gently in the tower-shaped +stove</i>. TOBY-DOG <i>and</i> KIKI-THE-DEMURE, +<i>one on the floor, the other on his own particular +cushion, proceed with the minute +toilet which follows a long siesta. Peace +reigns</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>My nails grow faster here than in the +country.</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/166b.gif" width="229" height="335" align="right"/></p> +<br clear="all" /> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>It's the contrary, with mine.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Really!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>bitterly</i>)</p> + +<p>Not to be wondered at! She clips them +for the sake of the hangings ... Well! +(<i>Magniloquently</i>), what can't be cured must +be endured.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>What are you going to do to-day?</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Why ... nothing.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>ironically</i>)</p> + +<p>For a change I suppose.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Pardon, to <i>avoid</i> change. What is this +rage for change that takes possession of +you all? Change means destruction. Only +that which remains stationary is eternal.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I'm eternal then, these three hours past.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>But you've been out with Her, haven't +you? You came in like a whirlwind; bells +rang, clothes were shaken out, you were +sneezing and laughing and aureoled with icy +air.... The end of her nose felt so cold +when She kissed me on the forehead. She +always kisses me there, just over the dark +stripes forming the classic M, which She +assures me stands for miaou and for Minet, +my name in French.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Yes ... we had a fine run on the banks +of the fortifications, and then we went into +a shop.</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>Is that amusing?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Not often. There are a great many +people crowded together. I'm immediately +seized with the fear of losing Her, and I +stick close to her heels, no matter what +comes. Strange feet push and knock me +about and step on my paws. I yelp but the +skirts all around stifle my voice.... When +we're out of it, we both look as if we'd been +shipwrecked ...</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>May the gods preserve <i>me</i> from anything +of the sort! Here, the moments have glided +peacefully by. When She's not in this +house, there's nothing to hinder me; I employ +the time as my system of hygiene dictates. +After my breakfast of rosy liver +and milk, my kittenhood seems to come back +to me; I'm filled with a foolish gayety. +I go over to him. He's rumpling big, blackish +papers and welcomes me with a quiet +smile; we loll on the same divan, and revel +in a few idle moments together. Sometimes, +with imperious paw, I tear the paper He holds +like a screen between us. It always seems +to me the most desirable—the one that +crackles best. He cries out, and I throw +myself on my back and wriggle with joy +in a sort of horizontal dance, He calls +"the dance of the bayadeer." Then somehow, +everything dwindles before my eyes, +grows dim, and far away; I want to rise and +go back to my cushion, but dreams already +separate me from the world ... Ah! blessed +hour when you and She disappear, when the +house is at rest and takes a long breath. +Soon I'm in the depths of a dark, sweet +sleep; my ears alone keep watch and turn +like sensitive antennas towards vague sounds +of doors and bells ...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/170.gif" width="596" height="225" /></p> + +<p>(<i>At this moment someone +rings</i>. TOBY-DOG <i>and</i> KIKI-THE-DEMURE +<i>start and +change their positions. The +Cat, sitting, encircles himself +with his fluffy tail. +The Dog, in a sphinx-like +attitude, lifts his head +boldly</i>.)</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/171a.gif" width="270" height="235" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE</p> + +<p>What's that?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>A tradesman?</p> + +<p><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/171b.gif" width="392" height="233" align="right" /></p> +<br clear="all" /> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>shrugging his shoulders</i>)</p> + +<p>That's not the kitchen bell. Perhaps it's +caller.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>with a bound</i>)</p> + +<p>What luck! They'll have tea and cakes! +Come on!! Sugar, sugar! Little cakes! +Little cakes!!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>gloomily</i>)</p> + +<p>To see ladies who shriek, and put +gloved hands on my back—hands covered +with dead skin?... ugh!</p> + +<p>(<i>Feminine voices are heard—Hers +among them—and +the clear tinkling of a little +bell; then the door opens +and a very diminutive toy +terrier enters, alone. She's +black and tan, seems in love +with herself, and comes +forward with a mincing +step</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>voice way up in her head</i>)</p> + +<p>I'm the darling little dog, so pretty!</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/173.gif" width="179" height="182" /></p> + +<p>(TOBY <i>is struck dumb with +admiration and astonishment</i>. +KIKI, <i>indignant, has +jumped on top of the piano +and remains an unseen and +hostile spectator</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>astonished at not hearing +the chorus of admiration that everywhere +greets her, is reciting</i>—)</p> + +<p>I'm the darling little dog, so pretty! I +weigh only one pound, eleven ounces, my +collar is of gold, my ears of black satin, +lined with shiny rubber, my nails are polished +like the beaks of little birds. (<i>Catching +sight of</i> TOBY-DOG.) Oh!--someone—(<i>silence</i>). +He's rather good-looking.</p> + +<p>(<i>They ogle and strut</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>How tiny she is!</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Sir—don't come near me.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Why not?</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>I don't know. My mistress knows. She's +not here. She stayed in the other room.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>How old are you?</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Eleven months, (<i>reciting</i>) I'm eleven +months old. At the dog show, my mother +took first prize for beauty. I weigh only +one pound eleven ounces and—</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>You've said that already. What makes +you so little?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/174.gif" width="301" height="291" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>from the piano</i>)</p> + +<p>She's ugly, and has an evil odor. Her +paws are deformed, she can't stand still an +instant, and this dog takes pains to make +himself fascinating!</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>very coquettish and talkative</i>)</p> + +<p>It's my lineage, of course. One can hold +me in a muff. You've seen my new collar? +It's gold ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>And what's that hanging from it?</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>My mother's medal, Sir. I always wear +it. I come from the <i>Palais de Glace</i>, where +I made quite a hit. Imagine! I wanted +to bite a gentleman who was speaking to my +mistress. <i>How</i> they laughed!</p> + +<p>(<i>She wriggles and chirps</i>.)</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/175.gif" width="571" height="245" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>aside</i>)</p> + +<p>What an odd creature! Is she <i>really</i> +a dog? (<i>Sniffs</i>.) Yes ... smells of rice +powder, but it's a dog just the same. +(<i>Aloud</i>.) Sit down a moment, it makes me +quite dizzy to see you moving about so.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Certainly. (<i>She lies down, like a miniature +greyhound, crossing her fore-paws to +show the slimness of her toes</i>.) You were +here all alone?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>looking toward the piano</i>)</p> + +<p>Yes, no other dog. Why?</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>There's a strange odor.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>The Cat, doubtless.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>The Cat? What's a Cat? I've never seen +one. Do they leave you in the room all +alone?</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/176.gif" width="566" height="193" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>It happens so now and then.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>And you don't bark? <i>I</i> cry as soon as +I'm left alone. I'm bored, afraid, feel sick, +and chew up the cushions.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>And then you're whipped.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>insulted</i>)</p> + +<p>I'm—what did you say? You're losing +your senses, I imagine. (<i>Suddenly amiable +again</i>.) That would be a pity. You have +lovely eyes.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Haven't I? They show well, don't they? +They're large, and then they stick out. She +says I have eyes like a lobster's, and sometimes +She says "his beautiful seal's eyes, +his frog-like eyes of gold."</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Who's She?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>simple</i>)</p> + +<p>She.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>I don't understand all you say, but I +find you so <i>very</i> sympathetic! What are +you doing this evening?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Why ... I dine.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Naturally! I wanted to know whether +they receive here this evening, or do <i>you</i> go +out?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>No, I've been out already.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Driving?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Walking—of course.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Why, of course? I hardly stir except +in a carriage. Show me the underside of +your paws. Horrors! One would say 'twas +the stone they sharpen knives on! Look at +mine. Satin on top, velvet underneath.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I'd like to see you in the country, on the +cobble-stones.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>I've been there, Sir. I was in the country +last summer and there weren't any cobble-stones.</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/179.gif" width="565" height="202" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Then it wasn't the country. You don't +know what country means.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>vexed</i>)</p> + +<p>Indeed I do, Sir! It's fine sand, and velvety +lawns that are swept every morning; +it's a reclining chair on the grass, great, +fresh cushions of cretonne, foamy milk, +naps in the shade, and charming little red +apples to play with.</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>shaking his head</i>)</p> + +<p>No. It's the road covered with white powder +that makes the eyelids smart and the +paws burn, the tough, shriveled, sweet-smelling +grass, where I scratch my nose and my +gums; it's the fearful night—for I'm the +only one to guard them, He and She. I lie in +my basket, but the beating of my poor overdriven +heart keeps me awake. I hear a dog +crying to me from far off, that the Bad Man +has passed on the road. Is he coming in my +direction? Will I be obliged in another +minute, my eyes bloodshot and tongue dry +as chalk, to throw myself upon him and devour +his shadowy face? ...</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>trembling and in ecstasy</i>)</p> + +<p>Go on! Go on! Oh! how frightened I +am! ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>modestly</i>)</p> + +<p>Don't be afraid—it has never happened. +All that is the country, yes, and the interminable +hill, in the shadow of the carriage, +when thirst, hunger, heat and fatigue, render +the soul submissive and hopeless ...</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>quite worked up</i>)</p> + +<p>And then?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Oh, nothing. One arrives at the house, +after all, and the pail of dark water, +one drinks without taking breath, ("his +tongue," She says, "his big tongue is parted +in the center, like an iris-petal") while +sore eyelids and dusty lashes are splashed +with cooling drops.... The country is all +that and many things besides....</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/182.gif" width="624" height="379" /></p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>on the piano, musingly</i>)</p> + +<p>All that, yes...and the habits of the +year before that one finds again, molded to +one's shape, like a cushion marked with the +imprint of a long sleep...the long nights +of freedom, when the lone owlet, with his sad +little laugh, makes his way through the air +as quietly as I do on the ground, and silvery +gray rats cling to the vines, eating +grapes and keeping their eyes on me at the +same time. It's the sun-cure on the hot +stone-wall, from which I arise wan and +shrunken, baked through and through, but +svelte enough to make the youngest tomcat +envious. (<i>Coming back to the present +with a murderous look at</i> THE LITTLE DOG.) +Death to you, ill-smelling beast, for having +evoked these by-gone joys! Aren't you +going to disappear, that I may come down +from this cold pedestal, where my paws are +growing numb?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG, (<i>enthusiastically to</i> THE LITTLE DOG)</p> + +<p>But let us forget all that! With you +there, I can think of nothing but you. I feel +that I love you!</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG, (<i>lowering her eyes</i>)</p> + +<p>Do you mean...really?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Of course I do!</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>So soon!</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/184.gif" width="416" height="238" /></p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>We've already wasted a great deal of +time.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>But ... we've been chatting. I've enjoyed +it very much ... and I fail to understand +why the society of young dogs like +you, is forbidden me ...</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>Allow me to make love to you.</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>What's that?</p> + +<p class="center">TOBY-DOG</p> + +<p>I'll show you. First I hold myself very +erect, stiffen my legs, walk 'round you, barking +low and melodiously. My tail wriggles, +my ears ...</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG</p> + +<p>Don't come near me. I feel quite upset. +(<i>Escaping</i>.) Aïe! You unmannerly fellow!</p> + +<p class="center">KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (<i>standing up</i>)</p> + +<p>These preludes are indeed a sad parody +on our wild love-making ... (<i>aloud, very +angry</i>) I should think—</p> + +<p class="center">THE LITTLE DOG <i>looks to +see where the dreadful voice +is coming from, and espies +a strange striped monster +with eyes afire, and eyebrows +and whiskers bristling +ferociously. She dashes +towards the door crying</i>,</p> + +<p>Help, help! There's a tiger on the +piano! ...</p> + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/185.gif" width="651" height="291" /></p> + +<p><i>And falls into the arms of her +mistress, who has come +upon the scene and proceeds +to console her with +great volubility; Fifi! my +Zezette! My darling! there, +there, goo, goo, goo, goo, +you poor helpless little doggie! +What did they do to +her? Ooooo!--Ooo! Was +it the naughty bow-bow? +etc., etc., etc</i>.</p> + + +<p class="center"><img border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/186.gif" width="632" height="903" /></p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Barks and Purrs +by Colette Willy, aka Colette +Translated by Maire Kelly + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BARKS AND PURRS *** + +***** This file should be named 11737-h.htm or 11737-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/7/3/11737/ + +Produced by Hilary Caws-Elwitt and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Barks and Purrs + +Author: Colette Willy, aka Colette +Translated by Maire Kelly + +Release Date: March 28, 2004 [EBook #11737] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BARKS AND PURRS *** + + + + +Produced by Hilary Caws-Elwitt and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + + + +BARKS AND PURRS + +BY + +COLETTE WILLY + + + + +TRANSLATED BY + +MAIRE KELLY + + + + + +CONTENTS + +PREFACE +SENTIMENTALITIES +ON THE TRAIN +DINNER IS LATE +SHE IS ILL +THE FIRST FIRE +THE STORM +A CALLER + + + + +PREFACE + +_Madame_: + +_There are moments when one seems to come to life. One looks about and +distinguishes a creature whose foot-print closely resembles the ace of +spades. The thing says: bow-wow. It is a dog. One looks again. The ace +of spades is now an ace of clubs. The thing says: pffffffff--and it is a +cat._ + +_This is the history of the visible world and in particular, that of my +god-children, Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure. They are so natural--I use +the word in the sense in which it is applicable to the savages of +Oceania--that all their acts conspire to make of life, a very simple +proposition. These are animals in the fullest sense of the +word--animos--if I may employ the original orthography, capable of +exclaiming with those of Faust_: "The fool knows it not! He knows not +the pot, He knows not the kettle." + + * * * * * + +_And as such, Madame, you have placed them exactly where they should be: +their earthly Paradise is the apartment of Monsieur Willy. In your +salon, the probable palm and rubber-plant give the impression of +luxuriant Edenic flora, relatively speaking, and illustrate the +transmogrification which is to allow M. Gaston Deschamps--critic of a_ +"Temps" _plus-que-passe--to announce to the wilderness (where he speaks +familiarly of Chateaubriand), and to the College de France, how well he +can admire and understand a true poet_. + + * * * * * + +_For you are a true poet and I will declare it freely, not concerning +myself more with the legends Parisians have the habit of weaving about +every celebrity. They admire Gauguin and Verlaine, not so much for their +originality, as for their eccentricities. And so it happens that certain +persons, unacquainted with the nameless sentiment, the order and purity, +the thousand interior virtues which guide you, persist in saying that +you wear your hair short and that Willy is bald._ + +_Must I then--living at Orthez--tell_ Tout-Paris _who you are, present +you to all who know you--I who have never seen you_? + + * * * * * + +_I will say then, that Madame Colette Willy never had short hair, that +she does not wear masculine attire; that her cat does not accompany her +when she goes to a concert, that her friend's dog does not drink from a +tumbler. It is inexact to say that Mme. Colette Willy works in a +squirrel's cage, or performs upon trapeze and flying rings, and can +reach with her toe the nape of her neck. Madame Colette Willy has never +ceased to be the_ plain woman _par excellence, who rises at dawn to give +oats to the horse, maize to the chickens, cabbage to the rabbits, +groundsel to the canaries, snails to the ducks and bran-water to the +pigs. At eight o'clock, summer and winter, she prepares the cafe au lait +for her maid--and herself. Scarcely a day passes that she does not +meditate upon this admirable book_: + +A LADY'S COUNTRY-HOUSE + +BY + +MME. MILLET ROBINET. + +_Orchard, kitchen-garden, stable, poultry-yard, bee-hive and hot-house, +have no further mysteries for Madame Colette Willy. They say, she +refused to divulge her secret for the destruction of mole-crickets to "a +great statesman, who prayed her on his knees."_ + + * * * * * + +_Madame Colette Willy is in no way different from the description I have +just given of her. I am aware that certain folk, having met her in +society, insist upon making her very complex. A little more, and they +would have ascribed to her the tastes of the mustiest symbolists--and +one knows how far from pleasing are those Muses' robes, how odious the +yellow bandeaux above faces expressionless as eggs. Robes and bandeaux +are to-day relegated to drawers in the Capitol at Toulouse, from which +they will never be taken more, except when occasion calls for the +howling of official alexandrines in honor of M. Gaston Deschamps, +Jaures, or Vercingetorix._ + +_Madame Colette Willy rises to-day on the world of Letters as the +poetess--at last!--who, with the tip of her slipper sends all the +painted, laureled, cothurned, lyre-carrying Muses--that, from Monselet +to Renan, have roused the aspirations of classes in Rhetoric--rolling, +from the top to the bottom of Parnassus._ + +_How charming she is thus--presenting her bull-dog and her cat with as +much assurance as Diana would her hound, or a Bacchante her tiger._ + +_See her apple-cheeks, her eyes like blue myosotis, her +lips--poppy-petals, and her ivy-like grace! Tell me if this way of +leaning against the green barrier of her garden-close, or of lying under +the murmurous arbor of mid-Summer, is not worth the starched manner, +that old magistrate de Vigny--with his neckcloth wound three times +around, and rigid in his trousers' straps--imposed upon his goddesses? +Madame Colette Willy is a live woman, a real woman, who has dared to be +natural and who resembles a little village bride far more than a +perverse woman of letters_. + + * * * * * + +_Read her book and you shall see how accurate are my assertions. It has +pleased Madame Colette Willy to embody in a couple of delightful +animals, the aroma of gardens, the freshness of the field, the heat of +state-roads,--the passions of men.... For through this girlish laughter +ringing in the forest, I tell you, I hear the sobbing of a well-spring. +One does not stoop to a poodle or tom-cat, without feeling the heart +wrung with dumb anguish. One is sensible, in comparing ourselves to +them, of all that separates and of all that unites us_. + + * * * * * + +_A dog's eyes hold the sorrow of having, since the earliest days of +creation, licked the whip of his incorrigible persecutor in vain. For +nothing has mollified man--not the prey brought him by a famishing +spaniel, nor the humble guilelessness of the shepherd-dog, guarding the +peace of the shadowy flocks under the stars_. + +_A tragic fear shines in the cat's eyes. "What are you going to do to me +now?" it seems to ask, lying on a rubbish-heap, a prey to mange and +hunger--and feverishly it waits the new torture that will shatter its +nervous system_. + +_But have no fear ... Madame Colette Willy is very kind. She quickly +dispels the hereditary dread of Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure. She +meliorates the race, so that dogs and cats will learn in the end that it +is less dull to frequent a poet than an unhappy College de France +candidate--had this candidate proven more copiously still, that the +author of "Memoires d'Outre-Tombe" had topsyturvily described the +jawbone of the Crocodile_. + + * * * * * + +_Toby-Dog and Kiki-the-Demure well +know that their mistress is a lady who +would do no harm--neither to a piece of +sugar nor to a mouse; a lady who, for our +delight, jumps a rope she has woven of +flower-words which she never bruises, and +with which she perfumes us; a lady who sings, +with the voice of a clear French rivulet, that +wistful tenderness which makes the hearts of +animals beat so fast_. + +FRANCIS JAMMES. + + * * * * * + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, A Maltese cat. +TOBY-DOG, A French bull-dog. +HE, } +SHE,} Master and Mistress (of minor importance). + + + +SENTIMENTALITIES + + _The sunny porch_. TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _sprawl on the hot +stone-flags, taking their after luncheon nap. The silence of Sunday +prevails, yet_ TOBY-DOG _is not asleep: the flies and a heavy luncheon +torment him. Hind-quarters flattened out frog-fashion, he drags himself +on his belly up to_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _whose striped body is perfectly +quiet_. + +TOBY-DOG + +Are you asleep? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_purrs feebly_) + +TOBY-DOG + +Are you even alive? You're so flat! You look like the empty skin of a +cat. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_in faltering tones_) + +L-e-t--m-e--a-l-o-n-e.... + +TOBY-DOG + +Not sick, are you? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No.... Let me alone. I'm asleep. I'm not even conscious of my body. What +torment to live with you! I've eaten, it's two o'clock, let's sleep. + +TOBY-DOG + +I can't. Something's made a ball in my stomach. It means to go down I +guess, but very slowly. And then,--these _flies_, these _flies_! The +eyes start out of my head at the sight of one of them. I'm all jaws, +bristling with terrible teeth (just hear them snap), yet the infernal +things escape me. Oh! my ears! Oh! my poor, sensitive, brown belly! My +feverish nose! There! ... you see?... right on my nose! _What_ shall I +do? I squint all I can ... two of them now?... No ... only one ... no, +two!... I toss them up like bits of sugar and it's the empty air I +snap.... I'm worn out. I detest the sun, and the flies, and +everything!... + +(_He wails_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_sitting up, his eyes pale from the light and +sleepiness_) + +Well, you've succeeded in waking me. That's all you wanted, isn't it? My +dreams are gone! These flies that you're pursuing--I hardly felt their +little teasing feet through my thick fur. The merest touch, like a +caress, now and then thrilled along the silky sloping hairs which clothe +me.... But then you never act with any discretion. Your vulgar gayety is +a nuisance, and when sad you howl like a low comedian. + +TOBY-DOG, (_bitterly) + +_ If you woke up just to tell me _that_-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_correcting_) + +Of course you'll remember 'twas _you_ woke me. + +TOBY-DOG + +I was so uncomfortable, I wanted someone to help me, to give me a word +of encouragement.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +_I_ don't know any digestive words. + +(_Pause_.) + +Fancy their giving _me_ a bad character when ... Just examine your +conscience a bit and compare us. Hunger and heat wear you out and drive +you mad; cold makes your blood curdle.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_vexed_) + +Mine is a sensitive nature. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +A demoniacal nature, you mean! + +TOBY-DOG + +No, I don't mean that. You--you're a monstrous egoist. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Perhaps.... You and the Two-Paws don't understand what you're pleased to +call a cat's egoism.... Our instinct of self-preservation, our dignity, +our modest reserve, our attitude of weary renunciation (which comes of +the hopelessness of ever being understood by them), they dub, in +haphazard fashion, egoism. You're not a very discriminating dog, but at +least you're free from prejudice. Will _you_ understand me better? A cat +is a guest in the house, not a plaything. Truly these are strange times +we're living in! The Two-Paws, He and She, have _they_ alone the right +to be sad or joyful, to lick plates, to scold, or to go about the house +indulging their capricious humors? I too have _my_ whims, _my_ sorrows, +_my_ irregular appetite, _my_ hours of reverie when I wish to be +alone.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_attentive and conscientious_) + +I'm listening, but I can hardly follow what you say. It's so +complicated--a bit over my head, you know. But you astonish me! Are they +in the habit of hindering you in your changeful moods? You mew, and they +open the door. You lie on the paper--the sacred paper He's scratching +on--He moves away, marvelous condescension!--and leaves you his soiled +page. You meander up and down his scratching table, obviously in quest +of mischief, your nose wrinkled up, your tail giving quick little jerks +back and forth like a pendulum. She watches you laughing, while He +announces "the promenade of devastation." How then, can you accuse +Them-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_insincere_) + +I don't accuse Them. After all, psychological subtleties are not in your +line. + +TOBY-DOG + +Don't speak so fast. I need time to understand. It seems to me-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_slyly_) + +Pray, don't hurry! Your digestion might suffer in consequence. + +TOBY-DOG, (_unconscious of the irony_) + +You're right! I've some trouble in expressing myself to-day.--Well, here +goes: it seems to me that of the two of us it's you they make the most +of, and yet _you_ do all the grumbling. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +A dog's logic, that! The more one gives the more I demand. + +TOBY-DOG + +That's wrong. It's indiscreet. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Not at all. I have a right to everything. + +TOBY-DOG + +To everything? And I? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I don't imagine you lack anything, do you? + +TOBY-DOG + +Ah, I don't know. Sometimes in my very happiest moments, I feel like +crying. My eyes grow dim, my heart seems to choke me. I would like to be +sure, in such times of anguish, that everybody loves me; that there is +nowhere in the world a sad dog behind a closed door, that no evil will +ever come.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_jeering_) + +And _then_ what dreadful thing happens? + +TOBY-DOG + +You know very well! Inevitably, at that moment She appears, carrying a +bottle with horrible yellow stuff floating in it--Castor Oil! Wilful and +unfeeling, she holds me between her strong knees, opens my jaws-- +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Close them tighter! + +TOBY-DOG + +But I'm afraid of hurting her--and my tongue, horrified, tastes the +slimy mawkish stuff. I choke and spit, my poor face is convulsed and the +end of this torture is long in coming.... You've seen me afterwards +dragging myself around, melancholy, my head hanging, listening to the +unwholesome glouglou the oil makes in my stomach.... + + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Once when I was little She tried to give _me_ castor oil. I scratched +and bit her so, she never tried again. Ha! She must have thought she +held the devil between her knees. I squirmed, blew fire through my +nostrils, multiplied my twenty claws by a hundred, my teeth by one +thousand, and finally--disappeared as if by magic. + +TOBY-DOG + +I wouldn't dare do that. You see, I love her. I love her enough to +forgive her even the torture of the bath. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_interested_) + +You do? Tell me how it feels. It makes me shiver all over, just to see +her putting you in the water. + +TOBY-DOG + +Alas.... Listen then, and pity me. Sometimes, when She's come out of her +tub with nothing on her but her skin, her soft hairless skin that I lick +respectfully,--She spills out more warm water, throws in a brown brick +which smells of tar, and calls, "Toby!" That's enough! The soul quits +my body; my legs shake under me. Something shines on the water--the +picture of a window all twisted out of shape--it dances about and blinds +me. She seizes me, poor swooning thing that I am, and plunges me in.... +Ye Gods! From that time on I'm lost.... My one hope is in her. My eyes +fasten themselves on hers, while a close warmth sticks to me like +another skin on top of mine.... The brick's all foamy now ... I smell +tar ... my eyes and nostrils smart ... there are storms in my ears. She +grows excited, breathes loud and fast, laughs, and scrubs me +light-heartedly. At last She rescues me, fishing me out by the nape of +my neck, I paw the air, begging for life; then comes the rough towel and +the warm coverlet where, exhausted, I relish my convalescence.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_deeply impressed_) + +Calm yourself. + +TOBY-DOG + +Jove! The telling it alone!... But--you old sly-boots--didn't I see her +one day armed with a sponge standing over _you,_ holding _you_ down on +the toilet table? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_quite embarrassed, lashing his tail_) + +An old story! The long, fluffy hairs on my legs (which give them the +outline of a Zouave's) had somehow gotten dirty. She insisted upon +washing me. I persuaded her that I suffered atrociously under the +sponge.... + +TOBY-DOG + +What a fibber you are! Did She believe you? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +'Um ... at first. It was my own fault tho' when She didn't. Turned over +on my back, I proffered the candid belly, the terrified and forgiving +eyes of a lamb about to be sacrificed. I felt a slight coolness, nothing +more. A fear that my sensibilities might be destroyed, took possession +of me. My rhythmical wailings increased, then subsided, then went up +again like the noise of the sea (you know the strength of my voice). I +imitated the calf, the whipped child, the cat in the night, the wind +under the door. Little by little I grew enraptured with my own song, so +that long after She had finished soiling me with cold water I continued +wailing, my eyes fixed on the ceiling. Then She laughed tactlessly and +cried out, "You're as untruthful as a woman!" + +TOBY-DOG, (_with conviction_) + +That _was_ annoying. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I was angry with her the entire afternoon. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, as to sulking, you do your share! _I_ never can. I forget injuries. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_dryly_) + +You lick the hand that chastens you. Oh it's well known! + +TOBY-DOG, (_gullible_) + +I lick the hand that--yes, that's it exactly.--An awfully pretty +expression. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Not mine.... Dignity doesn't trouble _you_ any! My word! I'm often +ashamed for you. You love everybody. You take all sorts of rebuffs +without even raising your back. You're as pleasant and as banal as a +public garden. + +TOBY-DOG Don't you believe it, you ill-bred cat! You think you know +everything and you don't understand simple politeness. Frankly now, +would you have me snarl at His or Her friends' heels,--well-dressed +people who know my name (lots of people _I_ don't know know my name) and +good-naturedly pull my ears? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I hate new faces. + +TOBY-DOG + +I don't love them either--whatever you say. I love--Her and Him. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +And I, Him--and Her. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, I guessed _your_ preference long ago. There's a sort of secret +understanding between you two-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_smiling mysteriously and abandoning himself to his +reverie_) + +An understanding, yes--secret and profound. He rarely speaks but makes a +noise like a mouse, scratching his paper. It's for Him I've treasured up +my little heart, my precious cat's heart, and He, without words, has +given me his. This exchange makes me happy and reserved. Now and then +with that pretty, wayward, ruling instinct which makes us cats rivals of +women, I try my power over him. When we are alone, I point my ears +forward devilishly as a sign that I'm about to spring upon his +scratching paper. The tap, tap, tap of my paws straight through pens and +letters and everything scattered about, is addressed to him as well as +the insistent miauling when I beg for liberty. "Hymn to the Door-Knob," +He laughingly calls it, or "The Plaint of the Sequestered Cat." The +tender contemplation of my inspiring eyes is for him alone; they weigh +on his bent head, until the look I'm calling searches and meets mine in +a shock of souls, so foreseen and so sweet, that I must needs close my +lids to hide the exquisite shyness I feel. + +As for Her, she flutters about too much, often jostles me, holds my paws +together and rocks me in the air, pets me in excited fashion, laughs +aloud at me, imitates my voice too well-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_moved with indignation_) + +You're very hard to please! I certainly love Him; he's good and pretends +not to see my faults, so that he won't have to scold, but She's the most +beautiful thing in the world to me, the dearest and--the most difficult +to understand. The sound of her step enchants me, her changeful eyes +dispense happiness--and trouble. She's like Destiny itself, she never +hesitates. Even torture from her hands--you know how She teases me? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE Cruelly. + +TOBY-DOG + +No, not cruelly, but artfully. I never can tell what's coming next. This +morning She bent down as if to speak to me, lifted one of my "tiny +elephant's ears," as She calls them, and sent a sharp cry into it, which +went to the very back of my brain. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Horrors! + +TOBY-DOG + +Was it right or wrong? I can't decide even now. It started waves of +nervousness running madly through me. Then, She has a fancy for making +me do tricks. Almost every day I must--"Do the Fish, Toby dear." She +lifts me in her arms and squeezes me until I gasp. My poor dumb mouth +opens as a carp's does when they're drowning it in air.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +That's _just_ like Her! + +TOBY-DOG + +Suddenly I find myself free--and still alive, miraculously saved by the +power of her will. How beautiful life seems to me then! How fondly I +lick the hand hanging at her side, the hem of her dress! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_contemptuously_) + +A pretty thing to do! + +TOBY-DOG + +All good and all evil come to me from Her. She is my worst torment and +my one sure refuge. When I run to her, my heart sick with fear, how soft +her arms are and how sweet her hair, falling in my face! I'm her +"black-baby," her "Toby-Dog," her "little bit o' love." She sits on the +ground to reassure me, making herself little like me--lies down +altogether and I go wild with delight at the sight of her face under +mine, thrown back in her fragrant hair. My feelings overflow, I can't +resist such a chance for a jolly good game. I rummage and fumble about, +excitedly poking my nose everywhere, till I find the crispy tip of a +pink ear--Her ear. I nibble it just enough to tickle her--to make her +cry out: "Stop, Toby! That's awful! Help! Help! This dog's devouring +me!" + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +H'm! Simple, homely, wholesome joys! ... And then, off you go to make +friends with the cook. + +TOBY-DOG And you,--with the cat at the farm. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_coldly_) + +Enough I pray, that concerns no one but myself ... and the little cat. + +TOBY-DOG + +A pretty conquest! It should make you blush--a seven-months-old kitten! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_roused_) + +For me she has all the charm of forbidden fruit and no one dare steal +her from me. She is slim as a bean-pole.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +You old rascal! KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... and long; poised on long legs she walks with the uncertain step +common to all young things. She hunts field-mice, shrew-mice--even +partridge, and this hard work in the fields has toughened her young +muscles and given a rather gloomy expression to her kitten-face. + +TOBY-DOG + +She's ugly. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No, not ugly, but odd-looking. Her muzzle with its very pink nostrils +strongly resembles that of a goat, her large ears remind one of a +peasant's coif, her eyes the color of old gold are set slant-wise, and +their naturally keen expression is varied by an occasional piquant +squint. + +With what a will does she fly me confounding modesty with fear! I pass +slowly by (one would think me quite uninterested), draped in my splendid +coat. She's struck by its stripes. Oh, she'll come back, a little +love-sick kitten, and putting aside all constraint she'll throw herself +at my feet--like a supple white scarf-- + +TOBY-DOG + +I've no objection, you know.... I'm comparatively indifferent to all +that concerns love. Here my time's so completely filled ... physical +exercise ... my cares of watch-dog, I ... hardly give a thought to the +bagatelle. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_aside) + +Bagatelle!... He indulges in the persiflage of a traveling salesman! + +TOBY-DOG + +I love--Her and Him devotedly, with a love that lifts me up to them. It +suffices to occupy my time and heart. + +The hour of our siesta is passing, my scornful friend. Do you know, I +like you in spite of your scorn and you like me, too. Don't turn your +head away, your peculiar modesty would hide what you call frailty and +what I call love. Do you think me blind? How often, on coming back to +the house with Her, have I seen your little triangular face at the +window, light up and smile at my approach,--the time to open the door +and you'd already put on your cat's mask--your pretty Japanesy mask, +with its narrow eyes.... Isn't it so? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_resolved not to hear_) + +The hour of the siesta is passing. The cone-shaped shadows of the pear +trees grow long on the gravel path. We've talked away our sleepiness. +You've forgotten the flies, your uneasy stomach, and the heat which +dances in waves on the meadows. The beautiful, sultry day is dying. +Already there's a breeze bringing perfume from the pines. Their trunks +are melting into bright tears.... + +TOBY-DOG + +Here She is! She's left her wicker chair, stretched her lovely arms and, +judging from the movement of her dress, I think we're going to take a +walk. See her behind the rosebushes? Now, with her nails she breaks a +leaf from the lemon tree; she's crumpling it up and smelling it. Ah ... +I belong to Her, soul and body. With my eyes closed I can divine her +presence. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Yes, I see Her. She is quiet and gentle for the time being. He'll leave +his paper now to follow her. He'll come out calling, "Where are you?" +and sit on the bench, tired out. For _him_, I shall rise politely, and +go "do my nails" along the leg of his trousers. Silent, happy +companions, we'll listen for the day's departing footsteps. The perfume +of the lindens will become sickeningly sweet at the same hour that my +seer's eyes grow big and black and read mysterious Signs in the air.... +Later on a calm fire will be lit down there, behind the pointed +mountain--a circle of glistening rose-color in the gray-blue of the +night--a sort of luminous cocoon from which will burst the dazzling edge +of the moon. She will sail along, cleaving the clouds.... Then, it will +be time to go to rest. He'll carry me in on his shoulder and I'll sleep +close to his feet, which are ever mindful of my repose.... Dawn will +find me shivering but rejuvenated, sitting face to the sun, in a silvery +halo of incense, offered me by the dew. Thus, I am a perfect picture of +the god I was in the old, old days. + + + + +ON THE TRAIN + + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, TOBY-DOG, SHE _and_ HE, _have taken their places in a +first-class compartment. The train rolls along towards distant +mountains, and the freedom of Summer-time_. TOBY, _on a leash, lifts an +inquiring nose to the window_. HE _has strewn the carriage with +newspapers_: KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _silent and invisible in a closed basket, +is under his immediate protection_. SHE, _leaning back against the dusty +cushions, dreams of the mountain she loves best and of the low house on +it, weighted down with jasmine and virginia-creeper_. + +TOBY-DOG + +How fast this carriage goes! It can't be our regular coachman. I haven't +seen the horses, but they smell very bad and make black smoke. Oh, +Silent Dreamer, look at me and tell me--shall we arrive soon? + +(_No response_. TOBY _gets fidgety and blows through his nostrils_.) +SHE + +Hush! Toby, hush! + +TOBY-DOG + +I've hardly said a word.... Shall we arrive soon? + +(_He turns towards his master, who is reading, and puts a discreet paw +on the edge of his knee_.) + +HE + +'Sh!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_resigned_) + +Hard luck! No one wants to talk to me. I'm bored and what's more, I +don't know this carriage well enough. I'm tired out. They woke me very +early this morning. I amused myself by running all over the house. They +had hidden the chairs under sheets, wrapped up the lamps, rolled up the +rugs. Things were white and changed and awful. There was a horrid smell +of camphor everywhere. My eyes filled with water, I sneezed under the +chairs and slid on the bare floor in my haste to follow the maids' white +aprons. They bustled about among trunks with such unwonted zeal, that I +was sure something exceptional was going to happen. At the last minute +just as She came in, calling: "Toby's collar and the cat's basket! +Quick! put the cat in his basket!"--just as she was saying that, my chum +disappeared. It was indescribable! He, terrible to see, swore by all the +gods, and struck the floor with his cane, furious because they had +allowed his Kiki to get away. She called "Kiki!" at first +supplicatingly, then in threatening tones, and the maids brought empty +plates, meant to deceive, and yellow paper from the butcher's. I really +thought my chum had left this world, when suddenly--there he was perched +on top of the book-case, looking down on us with an expression of +contempt in his green eyes. She put up her arms: "Kiki _will_ you come +down immediately! You are going to make us lose the train!" But he +didn't come down and it made me dizzy--though I was on the ground--to +see him way up there walking and turning about and miauling shrilly to +tell us how impossible he found it to obey. He was about frantic and +kept saying: "Heavens, he's going to fall." But She smiled skeptically, +went out of the room and came back armed with the whip. The whip said, +"crack!" twice only; then a miracle happened I think, 'cause the cat +leaped to the floor, softer and more bouncey than our plaything, the +ball of wool. _I_ would have broken to pieces falling like that!... He +has been in this basket ever since.... (TOBY _goes to the basket_.) Ah! +here's a little peek-hole.... I see his whiskers ... they're like white +needles. Whew! What eyes! (_He jumps back_.) I'm rather afraid. One +can't really shut a cat up; he always manages to get out somehow. ... He +must suffer, poor fellow! Perhaps if I speak kindly to him ... (_he +calls very politely_) Cat! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_spitting furiously_) + +Khhh!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_jumping back_) + +Oh, you said a bad word! You look awful! Have you a pain anywhere? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Go away! I'm a martyr.... Go away I tell you, or I'll blow fire at you! + +TOBY-DOG, (_ingenuous_) + +But why? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Why!--Because you're free, because I'm in this basket, because the +basket's in a foul carriage which is shaking me to pieces, and because +the serenity of those two exasperates me. + +TOBY-DOG + +Would you like me to look out and tell you what one sees from the +carriage window? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Everything is equally odious to me. + +TOBY-DOG, (_having looked out, comes back_) + +I haven't seen anything.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_) + +Thanks just the same. + +TOBY-DOG + +I mean I haven't seen anything that's easy to describe. Some green +things which pass right close to us--so close and so fast that they give +one a slap in the eye. A flat field turning 'round and 'round and over +there, a little pointed steeple--it's running as fast as the carriage. +Another field all red with blossoming clover has just given me another +slap in the eye--a red slap. The earth is sinking in--or else we're +going up, I'm not sure which. I see way off, _far_ away, some green +lawns dotted with white daisies--perhaps they're cows. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_with sarcasm_) + +Or wafers, for sealing letters--or anything you like. + +TOBY-DOG + +Aren't you the least little bit amused? KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_with a +sinister laugh_) + +Ha! Ask of the damned ... + +TOBY-DOG + +Of whom? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_more and more melodramatic, but without conviction_) + +... of the damned in his vat of boiling oil, if anything amuses him! +Mine is not physical torment. I suffer imprisonment, humiliation, +darkness, neglect-- + +(_The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries "Aw-ll a-bor!!... +awl aborr!!"_) + +TOBY-DOG, (_bewildered_) + +Someone's crying out! There's an accident!! Let's run!!! + +(_He throws himself against the carriage door and scratches madly at +it_.) SHE, (_half asleep_) + +Toby dear, you're a nuisance! + +TOBY-DOG, (_distracted_) + +Oh, you inexplicable person! How can you sit there quietly? Don't you +hear those cries? They're stopping now--the accident has gone away. Wish +I'd known ... + +(_The train starts again_.) + +HE, (_throwing down his paper_) + +The poor beast is hungry. + +SHE, (_now very wide awake_) + +You think so? Well, I am too. But Toby is to eat very little. + +HE, (_anxiously_) + +And Kiki-the-Demure? + +SHE, (_peremptorily_) Kiki sulks, and he hid this morning, so he'll +have even less than Toby. + +HE + +He isn't making a sound. Aren't you afraid he's sick? + +SHE + +No, he's simply vexed. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_as soon as there's question of himself_) + +Me-ow! + +HE, (_tenderly and eagerly_) + +Come my beautiful Kiki, my imprisoned one, come. You shall have cold +roast-beef and some breast of chicken ... + +(_He opens the prison basket and_ KIKI _puts forth his_ _head, flattened +on top like that of a serpent; then his long, striped body, cautiously, +and so very slowly that one begins to think it's coming out by the +yard_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_pleasantly) + +Ah, there you are, cat! Well, now, proclaim your freedom! + +(KIKI, _without replying, smoothes his ruffled fur_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +Proclaim your freedom I tell you! It's the custom. Whenever a door is +opened one must run, jump, twist oneself into half circles and cry out. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +_One_? Who's one, pray? + +TOBY-DOG + +We dogs. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_seated and very dignified_) + +Would you have me _bark_, too?... We have never followed the same rules +of conduct, that I know of. + +TOBY-DOG, (_vexed_) + +Oh very well, I don't insist. How do you like this carriage? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_sniffing fastidiously_) + +It's frightful.--However, the cushions are rather good for one's nails. + +(_He suits the action to the word_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +Now if _I_ did that ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing to scratch the upholstery_) + +Hon! May this spongy, gray cloth soothe my rage!... Since morning, the +whole universe has been in a state of monstrous revolt. He whom I love, +and who venerates me, made not the least effort to defend me. I've +submitted to humiliating contacts, been jolted to death, piercing +whistles have shot through my head from ear to ear. Ho, ho, how good it +is to relax the nerves and to imagine that, with gleeful claws, one +tears the enemies' flesh in bloody shreds! Ho, ho! S-c-r-a-t-c-h, and +lift the paws on high! Lift them high as possible! It's a supremely +insolent gesture.... + +SHE + +I say, Kiki, when are you going to stop that? + +HE, (_Indulgent and admiring_) + +Let him alone. He's doing his nails. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He has spoken for me. I forgive him. But since it's allowed, I don't +care any more about tearing the cushions ... When will I get out of +this? Not that I'm afraid; they are both there, and the dog too, with +their everyday faces ... I've twinges in my stomach. + +(_He yawns. The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries, "Aw-ll +a-bor! Aw-ll a-b-o-r-r!!"_) + +TOBY-DOG, (_excited_) + +Screaming again! Another accident?!--Let's run!... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Heavens, what a tiresome dog! What does it matter to him, if there _is_ +an accident? + +I don't believe in it moreover. It's the cry of a man, and men cry out +for the pleasure of hearing their own voices. + +TOBY-DOG, (_calm again_) + +I'm hungry. Can't we hope to eat soon, my mistress? I don't know what +time it is in this strange country, but it seems to me.... + +SHE + +Come now, we'll all have our luncheon. + +(_She takes the things out of the basket, crumples up some tissue paper +and breaks a crisp brown roll_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_chewing_) + +What She gave me then must have been very good indeed to seem such a +tiny bit. It melted in my mouth, there's not even the memory of it +left.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_chewing_) + +Breast of chicken! Purr-rr ... Goodness me! I was purring without +knowing it! That won't do. They'll think me resigned to this journey. I +must eat slowly, grim, and undeceived, eat for the sole purpose of +keeping myself alive ... + +SHE, (_to the dog and cat_) + +Allow me to have _my_ luncheon now, if you please. _I_ too, like cold +chicken and the hearts of lettuce, dipped in salt.... + +HE, (_anxiously_) + +What _shall_ we do to make this cat go into his basket again? + +SHE + +I don't know. We'll see presently ... + +TOBY-DOG + +Finished already? I could swallow three times that much. I say Cat, +you're eating rather well for a martyr. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_fibbing_) + +Trouble digs a hole in one's interior. Move away please, I want to sleep +now ... if I can. Perhaps a merciful dream will take me back to the +house I've left, to the flowered cushion He gave me.... Home! sweet +home! Rugs of bright colors for the delight of my eyes, a palm with +nice shoots for me to eat, deep arm-chairs, under which I hide my woolen +ball as a future surprise for myself--ah, and the cork hanging by a +string to the door-latch! the tables covered with bibelots! I thread my +way in and out among them and occasionally it amuses me to break some +brittle thing. The dining-room is a temple! The vestibule, full of +mystery; there unseen, I can watch those who come and go ... Oh narrow +back-stairway, where the step of the milkman rings out for me like a +morning angelus--farewell! farewell! my destiny carries me on, and who +knows if ever ... But this is _too_ sad! All the pretty things I've been +saying have really begun to make me feel badly!! + +(_He begins a minute and mournful toilet. The train stops. A conductor +on the platform cries, "Aw-ll-a-borr-a-borr!!"_) + +TOBY-DOG + +There it is again! An acci--Oh bother, I've had enough of that! + +HE, (_anxiously_) + +We're going to change trains in ten minutes. How about the cat? He'll +never allow us to shut him up ... + +SHE + +We'll see ... Suppose we put some meat in his basket? + +HE + +Or perhaps petting would ... + +(_They approach the redoubtable_ KIKI _and both speak together_.) + +HE + +Kiki, my beautiful Kiki, come jump on my knee, or on my shoulder. You +like that as a rule. You'll doze there and then I'll put you gently into +the basket. After all, it's open-work and has a comfortable cushion to +protect you from the rough wicker. Come, my dear.... + +SHE + +Listen, Kiki. You must learn to act properly and to take life as it is. +You can't stay there like that. We're going to change trains and a +horrible guard will appear and say insulting things of you and your +race. Besides you'd better obey, because if you don't, I--I'll give you +a good whipping. + +(_But before she can lift her hand against his sacred fur, Kiki gets up, +stretches himself, arches his back, yawns,--to show the rosy lining of +his mouth, and then walks to the open basket where he lies down with an +admirable air of quiet insolence. He and She exchange eloquent +glances_.) + + + + +DINNER IS LATE + + +_A parlor, in the country, at the close of a long summer's day_. +KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG _doze; ears twitching and eyelids +obstinately shut. Now_ KIKI'S _lids part in a narrow slit, and disclose +eyes the color of purple grapes. He yawns, with the ferocious +expression of a small dragon._ + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_haughtily_) + +You're snoring! + +TOBY-DOG, (_who was not really asleep_) + +I'm not; it's you. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Impossible! I don't snore, I purr. + +TOBY-DOG + +Same thing. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_not condescending to a discussion_) + +Thank heaven, it isn't! (_A silence_.) + +I'm hungry. One doesn't hear the noise of plates in the next room. Isn't +it dinner time? + +TOBY-DOG, (_gets up, slowly stretches his forepaws and yawns, darting +forth a heraldic tongue with curly end_) I don't know ... I'm hungry. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Where is She? How is it you're not at her heels? + +TOBY-DOG, (_embarrassed, nibbling his nails_) + +She's in the garden I believe, picking up plums. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Those yellow balls that rain about one's ears? I know them. You've seen +her then? I bet She scolded you ... What have you been doing now? + +TOBY-DOG, (_self-conscious, turning away his wrinkled, toad-like face_) + +She told me to return to the house because--because I too, was eating +plums. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +She did well! You have depraved tastes--the tastes of men. + +TOBY-DOG, (_offended_) + +Say--no one ever sees me eating bad fish! And never, _never_ will I +understand how you can go into such fits over a dead frog, or that herb. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Valerian. + +TOBY-DOG + +That's it, I guess ... An herb--is medicine, isn't it? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Medicine, indeed! Valerian ... but no _you_, can't understand ... I've +seen Her laugh and go on, as I do over the valerian, after having +emptied a glass of fetid wine that jumped dangerously too. As for the +dead frog--so dead that it seems a bit of dry russia leather in the form +of a frog--it's a sachet, impregnated with rare musk, with which I wish +to scent my fur. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, you talk very well--but She always scolds and says that you smell +bad after it, and He says the same thing. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +They're nothing but Two-Paws, both of them. You, poor thing, belittle +yourself by seeking to imitate them. You stand on your hind legs, wear a +coat when it rains, eat plums--for shame!--and those big green balls, +the malicious trees let fall sometimes, when I'm passing underneath. + +TOBY-DOG + +Apples? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Very likely. She picks one up and throws it down the path, crying: +"Apple, Toby, apple," and you rush after, in unseemly fashion, gasping +for breath, looking like a fool, your tongue and your eyes sticking +out.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_scowling, head resting on his paws_) + +One takes one's pleasures where one finds them. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_yawning, shows his pointed teeth and his palate of +pink velvet_) + +I'm hungry. Dinner is surely late tonight. Suppose you look for Her? + +TOBY-DOG + +I daren't. She forbade it. She is down there in the hollow, with a big +basket. The dew is falling and wetting her feet and the sun's going +away. But you know how She is. She sits on the damp ground, looking +ahead of her, as if She were asleep--or lies flat on her stomach, +whistling and watching an ant in the grass ... She tears up a handful of +wild thyme and smells it, or calls the tomtits and the jays--who never +come to her by any chance. She takes a heavy watering pot and--ugh! it +gives me the shivers--pours thousands of icy, silvery threads over the +roses or into the hollows of those little stone troughs, 'way back in +the woods. I always look in to see the head of a brindle-bull who comes +to meet me and to drink up the pictures of the leaves, but She pulls me +back by the collar with: "Toby, Toby, _that_ water is for the birds." +... Then She takes out her knife and opens nuts, fifty, a _hundred_ +nuts, and forgets the time ... There's no end to the things She does. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_slyly_) + +And what do you do all that time? + +TOBY-DOG + +I--well--I just wait for her. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I admire you! + +TOBY-DOG + +Once in a while, squatting down, She eagerly scratches the earth, toils +and sweats over it; then I jump 'round her, delighted to see her at +something so useful and so familiar. But her feeble scent deceives her. +_I_ never smell mole, or shrew-mouse-of-the-rosy-paws, in the holes +_She_ digs. And how explain her utter lack of purpose? Presently, +falling back on her haunches, She brandishes a hairy-rooted herb and +cries: "I have it, the jade!" I lie in the damp grass and tremble, or +dig my nose (She calls it my snout) into the earth to get the +complicated odors of it. ... When there are three or four scents all +blended, all mixed together, can you distinguish that of the mole from +that of the hare which passed quickly, or the bird which rested there? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Certainly I can. My nose is highly educated. It's small, regular, wide +between my eyes, delicate at the chamois-skin end of my nostrils; the +lightest touch of a blade of grass, the shadow of smoke tickles and +makes it sneeze. It doesn't bother about distinguishing the scent of +moles from that of--hares, did you say? But it delights in the trace +left by a cat in a hedge ... I've a charming nose. She calls it, "his +pretty little nose of cotton velvet." Since my eyes opened on this world +I've not known the day that someone has not uttered a truthful flattery +on the subject of my nose. Now yours--is a rough-grained truffle. What +makes you move it so ridiculously? At this very moment. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm hungry and I don't hear the plates. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... your truffle of a nose works up and down and makes another wrinkle +in your irregular mug. + +TOBY-DOG + +She always says, "his square muzzle, his wrinkled truffle," so tenderly +and so lovingly! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... And you think of nothing but eating. + +TOBY-DOG + +It's _your_ empty stomach that scolds and complains and wants to quarrel +with me. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I've a charming stomach. + +TOBY-DOG + +But no, it's your nose that's charming. You just said so. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +My stomach too. There's none more fastidious, more whimsical, stronger +and at the same time more delicate. It digests the bones of sole, but +meat that's the least bit tainted literally turns it. + +TOBY-DOG + +Literally's the word. You have _active_ indigestion. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Yes, the whole house is affected by it. From the very first qualms I'm +in terrible distress; the earth gives way under me, my eyes dilate, I +hurriedly swallow quantities of salty saliva; involuntary, ventriloquial +cries escape me, my sides bulge out-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_disgusted_) + +I say, if it's all the same to you, tell me the rest after dinner. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I'm hungry. Where can He be? + +TOBY-DOG + +He's there, in his study, scratching paper. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He's always doing that. It's a game. Two-Paws play at the same thing for +hours and hours. I've often tried to scratch paper gently, as He does, +but the pleasure doesn't last long. I prefer newspapers torn into shreds +that rustle and fly ... There is a little pot of dark-violet, muddy +water on his table. I never sniff it without horror, since the day a +rather foolish curiosity made me dip my paw into it. This very paw, so +strong and aristocratic, (the tufts of useless hair you see between my +toes proclaim the purity of my race) this very paw bore a bluish stain +for eight days and the degrading odor of rusty steel clung to it a long +time after ... + +TOBY-DOG + +What's the little pot for? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He drinks from it doubtless. + +(_Silence_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +She's not back yet! Heaven grant She isn't lost, as I was one day in the +streets of Paris! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I'm hungry! + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm hungry! What are we going to eat this evening? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I saw a chicken. It made a silly noise and dropped red blood on the +kitchen floor, soiling it far more than I ever did, or you either--yet +no one whipped it. But Emily put it in the fire, to teach it a lesson. I +licked up some of the blood ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_yawns_) + +Chicken ... it makes my mouth water. She'll say: "Here Toby, bones!" and +throw me the carcass. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +How badly you speak! He says: "Little chicken bones, Kiki, little +chicken bones!" + +TOBY-DOG, (_surprised_) + +But no _really_ it's, "Here, Toby, bones!" that She says. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +He speaks better than She does. + +TOBY-DOG, (_incompetent_) + +Ah?... Tell me, do birds taste anything like chicken? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_whose eyes light up suddenly_) + +No ... they're far better, they're alive. Ha, the quivering bird, the +warm feathers, the delicious little brain ... you feel it all crackling +between your teeth! + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, you make me sick! It always worries me to see tiny animals like that +flutter about ... and birds are dear, good little things. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_dryly_) + +Don't you believe it, they're only good to eat. They're noisy, stupid +creatures, infatuated with themselves, _made_ to be eaten. ... You know +the two jays? + +TOBY-DOG + +Not very well. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE They live in the little wood. When I walk by they laugh +a sardonic "tiac, tiac," because I wear a bell at my neck. In vain do I +hold my head very stiffly and put my paws down _very_ gently, my bell +tinkles and the two creatures scream from the top of the fir-tree. Just +let me get hold of them, one of these days!... + +(_He lays back his ears and raises the hair along his back_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_pensive_) Positively, Cat, there are times when I don't know +you. We are talking quietly and suddenly you bristle like a +bottle-brush; or we happen to be playing amicably together and I bark +behind your back--bow, wow-wow!--just for fun; then,--one doesn't know +why, perhaps because my nose has grazed the long hairs on your legs +you're so proud of--you become all at once a savage beast, spitting +fire, and charging at me like a strange dog. Don't you think that shows +a bad character? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_mysterious, eyes half-closed_) + +Not at all. It's character, simply. A Cat's character. In such moments +of irritability, I'm keenly alive to the humiliation of my present +state, and that of my race. + +I can remember a time when priests in long, linen tunics, bending low, +spoke to us and humbly tried to comprehend our chanted utterance. Know, +dog, that it is not _we_ who have changed! It may be, there are days +when I'm more myself, when everything offends me, and justly; a brusque +gesture, a vulgar laugh, the banging of a door, your odor, your +inconceivable impudence when you touch me, or encircle me, jumping and +yelping ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_patiently, to himself_) + +He's having one of his attacks. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_with a start_) + +Did you hear? + +TOBY-DOG + +Yes, the kitchen door, and the door into the dining-room ... and now the +drawer where the spoons are kept. At last! At last! aaah! (_He yawns_.) +I can't stand this any longer. _Where_ is She? I don't hear the gravel +creaking ... night's coming on! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_) + +Go find her. + +TOBY-DOG + +And how about Him? He usually worries, and comes in asking, "Where is +She?" But He's scratching still. He must have drunk up all the +violet-colored water in the muddy little pot by this time. (TOBY +_carefully stretches his legs_.) Ah! I feel lively ... and empty. We're +going to eat soon! Just smell the good kitchen-smells that come under +the door!... Let's play! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. + +TOBY-DOG + +Run, I'll chase, without touching you. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. + +TOBY-DOG + +Why not? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I don't want to. + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh! but you're tiresome! Watch me jump and arch my neck like a little +horse and try to catch my stubby tail. Now I turn 'round and +'round--and--heavens! the whole room spins!--It's--st--opping--now. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Insufferable creature! + +TOBY-DOG + +Insufferable yourself! Look out, I'm going to run at you as She does, +when She's merry, crying "Ha, cat!" + +(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _without rising, puts up a paw bristling with claws +and spotted underneath with rose color and black; it looks like a thorny +flower_.) + +If you dare!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_in a frenzy_) I do dare! Bow-wow-wow! Ha, cat! ha, cat! + +(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _exasperated, gives a spring and hangs on the +table-cloth, slowly dragging it down. A lamp and various things fall to +the ground. Terrified silence. The two animals, crouching under an +arm-chair, await punishment_.) + +HE _appears at the study door, holding a pen, like a bit, between his +teeth_. + +Thunder and blitzen! What is it now? This cursed menagerie has +overturned everything! Where's your Mistress? What a place this is to be +sure! Dinner never on time!... (etc., etc., etc....) + +(_The two guilty ones, who well know the harmlessness of such outbursts, +laugh quietly to themselves and lying flat as bed-room slippers, look at +one another through the fringes of the chair. The garden gate opens_. + +SHE _comes in carrying a basket, full of fragrant plums; her hands are +sticky from their sugariness, her hair tumbled_. SHE _stands horrified, +before the disaster_.) + +SHE + +Oh! They've been fighting again, have they? (_Without conviction_.) Dear +_me,_ what nasty creatures! I'll give them away! I'll sell them!!--I'll +_kill_ them!!! (_But the cat and dog, groveling in exaggerated humility, +crawl up to her, and speak together_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Purr-rr-rr!...There you are!...It's very late ...Toby attacked me; it's +he who's broken everything. I believe he went mad from hunger.... You +smell good, of grass and the twilight. You sat down on some wild thyme. +Come!...Tell your Master to carry me on his shoulder--the meat will be +overdone, I'm afraid. You'll carve the chicken very quickly, won't you, +and you'll keep the browned skin for me? If you wish I'll stretch out my +paw like a spoon, which knows how to take up the littlest morsels, and +carry them to my mouth with that human gesture that makes you laugh +so--you and He.... Come! + +TOBY-DOG Hiii ... hiii ... there you are at last! I'm so unhappy when +you're away. You banished me ... you didn't love me ... The lamp fell +down all by itself ... Come! I'm awfully hungry, but I'll gladly go +without dinner, if you'll promise to take me with you always wherever +you go ... yes, even out in the twilight, though it makes me sad, I'll +willingly follow you there ... my nose close, close to the hem of your +dress.... + +SHE, (_disarmed and quite indifferent to the cataclysm_) + +Do look how pretty they are! + + + + +SHE IS ILL + + _A bed-room in the country-house; autumnal sunshine filters in through +closed blinds_. SHE _lies on a couch, apparently asleep, dressed in a +white woolen gown_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _makes his toilet on a narrow +console-table_. TOBY-DOG, _on the carpet, in a sphinx-like attitude, +watches_ HER _and at the same time, is attentive to the words of his +master, who is leaving the room on tip-toe._ + +HE, (_in a very low voice to the two animals_) + +Sh! Don't wake her. Be good. I'm going downstairs, to write. + +(_He closes the door noiselessly after him_.) TOBY-DOG, (_to_ +KIKI-THE-DEMURE) + +What did He say? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I don't know. Something vague. Directions, like: stay there, good-by. + +TOBY-DOG + +He said, "'Sh!" _I'm_ not making any noise. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_) + +They're astonishing! They say "no noise," and thereupon walk off with a +step a deaf rat could hear two miles away. + +TOBY-DOG Some truth in that. (_He looks at the sleeping figure on the +couch_.) Her face still looks very small. She's asleep. If you jump down +from that table don't land with a big thump. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stiffly_) + +Ah, you're teaching me to jump now, are you? Oh, worthy counselor! +(_quoting_) Put a beggar in your barn and he'll make himself your heir. + +TOBY-DOG + +What's that? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Nothing. An Oriental proverb. If I wished, dog, to disturb the silence +of this room I'd be clever enough to choose a rickety chair; its feet +would pound out a regular tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc, in time with my +tongue as I washed myself. It's a means I've invented to gain my +liberty. Tic-toc, tic-toc, says the chair. She happens to be reading or +writing, is easily irritated, and cries, "Be quiet, Kiki!" But I go on +unconscious of any wrong-doing; tic-toc, tic-toc. She jumps up +distracted and opens the door wide for me: slowly, like one exiled, I +cross its threshold and once outside, laugh to find myself so superior +to them all. + +TOBY-DOG, (_who hasn't been listening, yawns_) + +What a sad week, eh? I don't know what it is to take a walk any more. I +haven't taken any pleasure in eating either, since She fell from her +horse. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Heavens, one can love people and care for one's stomach too. + +TOBY-DOG, (_with ardor_) + +Not I! When She screamed and fell from her horse, I felt the heart +crack inside me. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +That affair couldn't have ended otherwise. One doesn't go climbing up on +a horse! People don't do such things! I see nothing but extravagance +around me. To begin with, a horse is a fearful monstrosity. + +TOBY-DOG, (_indignantly_) + +Did one ever hear the like! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_peremptorily_) + +I happen to have had the opportunity of making a very close study of +one.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +He makes me laugh! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +... It was the farmer's horse that grazed in the meadow. My life, for a +whole month, was embittered by that roving mountain. Lying under the +hedge, I could see his heavy feet disfiguring the ground. I breathed +his vulgar odor and heard his strident cry shaking the air. Once when he +was eating the lower twigs of the hedge, I saw myself--the whole of +me--reflected in one of his eyes! I fled ... and from that day my hatred +was so strong that I wildly hoped to annihilate the monster. I'll go up +to him, thought I, I'll plant myself firmly in front of him, and the +desire of his death will be so strong in my eyes, that perhaps, he'll +die when he meets my look ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_diverted_) + +And then? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing_) + +I carried out my plan. But the horse I had waited for in fear and +trembling, just blew through his nostrils a long jet of foul-smelling +vapor, and _I_ fell back in atrocious convulsions. + +TOBY-DOG, (_Inwardly writhing with laughter_) + +You don't exaggerate? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_serious_) + +Never! And She must needs go climbing on a horse's back, holding fast to +four cords, one leg this side and the other that. ... Strange +aberration! + +TOBY-DOG + +We don't think alike, Cat. For me, the horse is, after man, the most +beautiful thing in the world. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_vexed_) And where do I come in? + +TOBY-DOG, (_evasive and courteous_) + +Oh, you're a _Cat_. But a horse, and with Her on his back! What a +beautiful picture they make, high up in the blue air! To gaze on it, I +have to throw my head 'way back on my thick neck. The horse lends her +his speed. Now at last, She can race with me when I go off on a mad run. +Sometimes I'm ahead, ears floating back and tongue hanging out like a +little flag--the angular shadow of the horse on the road in front. If I +follow her, a fragrant dust blows back at me. It smells of warm leather, +moist beast, and a little of her own perfume too. The road runs under +me, like a ribbon that someone is pulling. Oh, what joy it is to be so +little and so swift, running along in the shadow of a great galloping +horse! When we halt, I pant like a motor, between the legs of my friend, +who snorts and in the kindliest way puts down his fettered mouth and +sprinkles me ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I know, I know! The horse "with long mane ashake; hoofs, heavy with +tumult; eyes, glimmering white." ...You are the last of the +Romanticists. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm not the last of the Romanticists. I'm a little bull-dog that came +into the world one evening, almost under the feet of a chestnut mare. +She didn't lie down all night long, she was so afraid of crushing my +mother and her puppies. A little bull-dog like me is almost the child of +a horse. I lay in the warm straw against her warm flanks, I drank out of +the stable pails. I used to get up when I heard the sound of hoofs +coming in and I took an interest in the washing of the carriages, until +the day She came and picked me out--_me_, the best-looking, the most +snub-nosed, the stockiest of the litter. (_Sighing_.) And there She +lies, so dreadfully quiet! It makes me sad to see her with that little +cloth still 'round her ankle. You remember when He picked her up in his +arms? He held her--and She's a lot bigger than I am--just as if She were +a little dog that he was going to drown.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_) + +I remember. I was at the top of the stairs irritated by the noise, but +curious. He came up and pushed me aside with his foot, as he would have +done if a piece of furniture had happened to be in his way. + +TOBY-DOG + +Is that why you stayed away from this room--her room--for three whole +days? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_hesitating_) + +Yes ... and for another reason too. + +TOBY-DOG + +What reason? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Because of the fever. + +TOBY-DOG, (_carried away by his love_) + +Her fever smells better than other peoples' good health! +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shrugging his shoulders_) + +And they talk of a dog's scent! Truly the convictions of Two-Paws are +based upon childish fables. You know of course that fever-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_in a low tone_) + +Makes one afraid, yes. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_in a low tone_) + +Makes one afraid, gives one cold shivers down one's back, distaste for +everything and uneasiness all over. One hesitates on the threshold of a +room where there is fever, searching fearfully some hidden thing.... She +was in bed and burning hot. I looked at her a long time, ready to run, +saying to myself: "Who can be with her there--behind the curtains--who +is it stifles and torments her and makes her moan in her sleep?" +TOBY-DOG, (_frightened retrospectively_) + +There wasn't anyone, was there? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No one but He--and the fever. He, the most intelligent of Two-Paws, was +leaning over her listening to her breathing, dimly aware of an invisible +presence. I overcame my aversion and looked at her. I was melancholy and +jealous. He must love her, thought I, to go so near and defend her, to +kiss her, imbued as She is with the evil charm. Would He hold me to his +heart, if I-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_imperatively_) + +'Sh! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +What? + +TOBY-DOG + +She stirred. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. + +TOBY-DOG, (_alert, looking at her_) + +No ... She didn't stir, but her thoughts did. I felt them. Continue. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_who has recovered his equanimity_) + +I don't know now what we were talking about. + +TOBY-DOG + +The fev-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_quickly_) + +Enough. Don't recall it. Fever is the beginning of the thing one never +speaks of. + +TOBY-DOG, (_shivering_) + +Yes, I know.... I don't like an animal that can't move. You know what I +mean ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_laughing cruelly_) + +Nor do I. I can only eat live birds, and as for the tiny mice, I prefer +to swallow them, squeak and all.... + +TOBY-DOG + +Why does it amuse you to horrify me? You've a certain vanity that I +can't understand. It consists in exaggerating cruelties that are already +real enough. You call me the last of the Romanticists, aren't you the +first of the Sadics? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Oh dog, poisoned with literature! An eternal misunderstanding separates +us. "I'm a little bull-dog," you replied just now, with that stupid +sincerity which disarms me. Let me say to you in my turn, "I am a Cat." +The name is sufficient dispensation. There is in me a hatred of pain and +ugliness, an overmastering detestation of all that offends my sight, or +my reason. When the concierge's cat dragged around his wounded paw, I +threw myself upon him, fired by a righteous anger, and until he stopped +his whining I-- + +TOBY-DOG, (_supplicatingly_) + +Don't tell me! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_getting angry_) Understand then, once and for +all--if the pale recital of what I did upsets you--that I wished to +abolish, to annihilate in that bleeding animal the suggestion of my own +inevitable death ... + +(_They are quiet for a little while_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shuddering_) + +This confinement does us no good. I would gladly go out into the soft +sunshine and do "the bayadeer's dance," as He calls it, on the dry +gravel among the leaves, which look like fried potatoes. Everything is +yellow out-of-doors. My green eyes would reflect the golden sun and the +flaming woods and so turn yellow too.... Now I'll think only of what is +joyous and yellow, the beautiful, cold Autumn, the rosy dawn that leaves +its colors in the foliage of the cherry-tree ... Come, let's prove the +strength of our legs and enjoy to the full the consciousness that youth +has only just begun for us ... Who knows, death may never come ... + +(_He jumps down from the console-table, without making the least +noise_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_stopping him_) + +What are you going to do? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Scratch at the door, and strike up the "Hymn of the Sequestered Cat." + +TOBY-DOG, (_indicating the figure on the couch_) + +And doubtless waken Her? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stubbornly_) + +I'll sing in a very small voice. + +TOBY-DOG + +And you'll scratch with your tiniest claws, I suppose? Stay here +quietly, He commanded it when He went away. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_loftily_) + +Does He command me? He beseeches me, and that's my only reason for +obeying him. + +(_He sits down again, apparently resigned, and yawns slowly_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_yawning_) + +You make me yawn. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +On the contrary, it's you who bore me. (_Temptingly_.) You're thinking +what a good thing freedom is, aren't you?... A hen has probably escaped +from the chicken yard--what sport you're missing! + +TOBY-DOG + +You really think so? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I said: probably.... Have you finished exploring that rabbit's hole? + +TOBY-DOG, (_disturbed_) + +No ... it's so very deep! I almost buried myself, hollowing it out +yesterday. The earth that stuck to my muzzle had some of the animal's +fur in it.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_more and more satanic_) + +I suppose you'll finish that to-morrow ... or some other day. TOBY-DOG, +(_sadly_) + +Why not say next year, while you're about it? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +What's the matter with you? Your shiny black lip hangs down an ell, and +your froggy eyes glitter with tears. Are you crying? + +TOBY-DOG, (_sniffling_) + +No ... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Poor, sensitive heart, console yourself. You'll have your pleasures and +your friends again. At this very moment the farmer's dog is crunching +bones in the kitchen ... to beguile the long wait for you. + +TOBY-DOG, (_overcome_) + +Oh! oh! the farmer's dog! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +She's not alone either; that great dane, the watch-dog, keeps her +company. + +TOBY-DOG, (_rebellious_) + +That's not true! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Go see. + +TOBY-DOG, (_after one bound toward the door_) No, that would make +noise. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +You're right, it would. + +(_A mournful silence follows_. TOBY _curls himself up like a turban and +closes his eyes, because he feels like crying. His breath comes in +little sobs_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_absently, in a low, monotonous chant_.) + +The dog ... the little dog ... the bones, the little dog ... the rabbit +... the great dane, the rabbit's hole ...the little dog, the mutton +bones ...the rabbit's skin ... + +TOBY-DOG, _at first endures the torture heroically; then his nerves +betray him and lifting his head he howls--the long plaint of the +abandoned dog_. + +Wooo--oo--oooooo! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the top of the console-table_) + +Will you be quiet! + +TOBY-DOG + +Wooooooooo!!--oo--oooo--oo! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_aside_) + +That's it! That's it! + +(SHE _wakes bewildered, still captive of her dreams, while the Cat +listens patiently to the approaching step on the stairs, which means +liberty for him and punishment for_ TOBY-DOG.) + + + +THE FIRST FIRE + + +_Because it is raining and an October wind chases wet leaves through the +air, She has lit the first fire of the season in the great +chimney-place_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG, _in ecstasy, side by +side on a corner of the warm hearth-stone, contemplate the flame with +dazzled eyes and address their meditations to it_. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_looking very like a cushion; no paws visible_) + +Oh Fire, how splendid you are! You have come back more beautiful than my +memory of you! You are hotter and nearer than the sun! The pupils of my +eyes contract in your light, their lids half close, modestly hiding the +joy I feel at seeing you again, and my inscrutable countenance shows but +the semblance of a thought painted there in fawn color and black.... +Your crackling drowns the soft sound of my purr. Don't snap too much. Be +merciful, O inconstant Fire! Don't sputter sparks on my fur. Allow me to +adore you without fear ... + +TOBY-DOG, (_half baked; eyes blood-shot; tongue pendant_) + +Fire! Divine Fire! Here you are again! I am still very young, but I +remember how awe-struck I was the first time Her hand woke you in this +same chimney-place. The sight of a god as mysterious as you are was most +impressive to a baby-dog just out of the maternal stable. Oh Fire, I've +not quite gotten over my fear! Hiii!... You spit at me, something red +that smarts ... I'm afraid ... Well, it's gone now. How beautiful you +are, Fire! Out from your ruddy center shoot tatters and shreds of gold, +sudden spurts of blue, and smoke that twists upwards and draws queer +shapes of beasts ... Oh, but I'm hot! Gently, gently, sovereign Fire, +see how my truffle of a nose is drying up and cracking, and my ears--are +they not ablaze? I adjure thee with suppliant paw. I groan ... ah ... I +can endure it no longer!... (_He turns away_.) Nothing is ever perfect. +The east wind coming under the door nips my hind-legs. Well, it can't be +helped! I'll freeze behind if I must, provided I can adore you face to +face. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I am a Cat and therefore aware of all that you bring in your train, O +Fire! I foresee winter; its coming both troubles and pleases me. I've +already begun to thicken and embellish my fur-coat in its honor, the +darker stripes are becoming black, my white tippet swells into a +dazzling boa, and the fur on my belly surpasses in beauty anything that +has ever been seen. What shall I say of my tail, broad as a club, with +alternate rings of fawn-color and black, or of the sensitive, priceless +aigrettes which spring from my ears? My ear-rings She calls them.... +What cat could resist me! Ah! the January nights, the serenades under a +frosty moon, the dignified wait on the pinnacle of a roof, the encounter +with a rival cat on the narrow top of a wall!... But I feel quite sure +of my superior strength. I'll swish my tail, put back my ears, sniff +tragically as one does before vomiting, and then lift up my voice--its +modulations are infinite. I'll make it strong enough to waken all the +sleeping Two-Paws. I'll vociferate, I'll whimper, pacing up and down the +garden, my body distended, my legs bent outward, feigning madness to +terrify the tom-cats! + +TOBY-DOG + +I know something of the changes and pleasures you foretell, Fire--for +I'm a Dog. Already, it is raining in the garden. I suppose it's raining +on the road too, and in the woods. The falling drops are not warm, as +they were in the summer storms when my truffle, gray with dust, +delighted in the damp smell that came from the west. The sky is troubled +and the wind has grown strong enough to blow my ears out straight, like +little flags. A sharp cry, such as I make when I beg, comes under the +door. You'll be shining here every day, Fire; but I'll have to suffer +for the right to worship you. For She'll continue to wander about, her +head covered with the pointed hood which changes her so, that it +frightens me. She'll put on wooden shoes too, and carelessly crush the +puddles, the little heaps of mud, and the weeping mosses. I'll follow +her, since I've promised to do so my life long (and also because I +can't help it), I'll follow her, a forlorn and piteous object, shining +wet, my belly covered with mud, until, through very excess of misery +I'll forget, and ramble in the coppice, interested in every undulation +of the grass, eager to revive the drowned scents in it.... She'll become +communicative when she sees me hurrying along and we'll talk: "Ha, +Toby-Dog," she'll say, "ha! ha! a bird! There on the branch! Look! you +booby! Now he's gone." She'll condole with me then, until I'm on the +verge of tears. "Oh, my little black boy, my sympathetic cylinder, my +batrachian love, how cold you are, how wet, how sad, how you suffer, +oooo!" And before I'm able to judge of the sincerity of her pity, the +tears will overflow, my throat contract, and we'll wail in unison.... + +Ah, but what delirious joy when the capricious wooden shoes turn again +toward the house, hurrying to rejoin Him whom we've left scratching +paper! They don't go half fast enough for me then! I jump 'round her, +barking with delight to see the hill diminishing, our climb at an end, +to smell the good stable smell and that of burning wood as we near the +house. At last you shine forth, O Fire, O Sun, through the misty window +pane!... I shall hardly have crossed the threshold when an overpowering +sleepiness will dash me to the floor in front of you--you, who will +reduce the mud on my belly to fine powder and change the water of the +roads to smoky vapor. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE A delightful glow penetrates my coat to the silky +down, the impalpable colorless threads which protect my delicate skin. I +feel myself swelling like a cloud. I must quite fill the room. My +whiskers seem charged with electricity--a sign that I will sleep--but +for the time being, the contemplation of your splendor and thoughts of +the coming season keep me awake. It's raining. I shall not go out. I'll +wait for the sun, or the dry wind, or better still, the frost. Ah, how +the biting cold stimulates me! It lashes my lungs with handfuls of +needles, and makes a _bonbon glace_ of my charming nose. The rollicking +frost-sprite will blow his madness into me. She'll laugh and He too, +leaving his scratching-paper, to see me vie with the leaves in bounds, +leaps and wild whirlings, resembling a floating flurry of gray smoke +rather than a Cat. To the top of a tree! Down again! Then seven turns +after my tail! A perilous backward leap! A vertical jump, with aerial +_danse du ventre_! Girations, sneezes, careering from the real to the +dream, until in terror of myself, I come to a sudden stop.... Everything +turns before my eyes. I'm the center of a strange, spinning world ... In +my bewilderment (half-feigned) I'll make a little moo, like a cow, which +will bring them both running to me,--She laughing, and He fearing +something wrong. That will suffice to sober me, and with a bold front +and noble mien, I'll regain this cushion near your altar, O Fire! + +TOBY-DOG + +This hearth-stone burns the horny pads of my feet. What shall I do? +Move away? never! I'll toast to death rather than give up this +redoubtable bliss. Heaven prevent Her coming, now! I've reason to fear +the lash of the whip, and the magic words which mean exile: "Toby! +that's stupid! I forbid you to roast yourself. You'll have sore eyes, +and catch cold when you go out." That's what She says, while I regard +her with a stupid look of utter devotion. But She's never duped by it. I +hear noises upstairs, her step coming and going ... I wonder is her +vagabond fancy wearied at last? This morning She whistled to me and in +my haste to obey her, I rolled to the bottom of the stairs--being low +and thick-set, with short legs, no nose, and almost no tail to balance +me. Well, we set off. The last apples were rocking to-and-fro on swaying +branches. My happy voice, a joyful shout from her now and then, the vain +crowing of the cocks, the creaking of wagons on the road--all these +sounds floated on a bluish, cottony, suffocating fog. She took me far, +and many marvelous things happened on our way. We met terrible giant +dogs. My proud bearing seemed to exasperate them, but I kept them back +with a single look (besides, a closed iron gate rendered them +powerless). I chased a rabbit into the thicket, though She cried loudly: +"I forbid you to touch the little animal!" ... My mother certainly gave +me swift legs but they're short, and the white end of the little beast +kept far ahead. A bush covered with red berries detained us a very long +time. She sees no objection to eating strange things and I can +truthfully say that I always taste everything She offers me, for I've +great faith in her. But this morning--"Eat, Toby, nice berries. Eat! +here are some rose-hips. Oh stupid! how can you not dote upon their +delicious flavor? I assure you these are comfits of Mother Nature's +making." In deference to her, I chewed a reddish ball; there were some +rough hairs on it--put there doubtless by her teasing hand--and what was +bound to happen, did happen ... Khaha! My throat rejected the nasty +"rosehip." ... + +But listen, Fire, what I saw after that, passes _my_ understanding. It +was in a wood where stiff leaves rustled. Had She carried you under her +cloak, or do gods like you come at her bidding? I saw her hands pile up +the wood, arrange flat stones in some mysterious fashion, and then, +Fire, I saw the sparks flash and your joyous soul palpitate, grow big, +soar naked and rose-colored, veil itself in smoke, snap noisily (for +yours is a belligerent soul), agonize--and disappear.... The world is +full of incomprehensible things.... Last of all, on our way back, I +discovered near the park gate--saw it before She did--one of those +invincible beasts called hedge-hogs, the mere sight of which brings us +dogs to bay. What madness to realize that an animal is hiding under that +pin-cushion and laughing at me, and that I can do nothing, _nothing_! I +implored her--She can do nearly everything--to pluck him for me. She +began by turning him over with a little stick, as if he were a horse +chestnut. "Astonishing," said She, "I can't find the top of him!" Then +She took one of his spines between two fingers and carried him home that +way--I dancing behind her--and put him in her work basket. After a while +the horrid beast unrolled himself, stuck out a pig-like nose, opened two +shiny rat's eyes and raised himself, holding fast by his little paws, +which were exactly like a mole's. "How pretty he is," She cried, "a real +little black pig." I stood near the table groaning with covetousness, +but She didn't pluck him for me, not then, or ever, and perhaps the cook +ate him.... This cat's a dissembler. Maybe _he_ ... But away with care! +I'm too excitable! I mustn't let myself think of these things. Life is +beautiful, O Fire, since you illumine it ... I'm going to sleep ... +Watch over my unconscious body ... I'm going ... to sleep.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +One would think me asleep because the narrow slit made by my parted +eyelids, seems but the continuation of that velvety line, that bold +crayon-stroke, a sort of Oriental make-up, uniting my eyelids and my +ears. But I'm awake, keeping watch like a yogi, in a state of blissful +ankylosis, conscious of all that's going on around me.... My privileged +eyes, Fire, do but behold you better when they're closed and I can count +the various essences you mingle in a sparkling bouquet. Here in a flame +of mauve-color and blue, glows the soul of a branch of arbor-vitae. +Yesterday it waved a plume-like shadow on the garden walk ... To-day, +with its delicate twigs, it is but a writhing skeleton. She cut it with +one stroke of the pruning scissors. Why? That it might breathe out its +fervent blue and mauve-colored soul? For like me, She delights in your +dance, Fire, and chastises you when you're quiet, with a stern pair of +tongs. Sitting there with her head bent and her arms hanging along her +sides, what does She read, I wonder, in that fiery rose which is the +labyrinthian heart of you?... She knows a great deal certainly, but not +as much as a Cat. + +That thick tear on the log represents the anguish of a very old +fir-tree, killed by the assiduous ivy. Just a short time ago I saw it +struck down, lying on the grass, its foliage looking like a beautiful +head of reddish hair. I saw the axe that felled it, too. Its trunk weeps +tears of resin, which trail along in drivel, then change to heavy, +creeping flame. But the dry red locks break into lines of living fire, +whistle and shoot innumerable jets of many colors underneath a broad +gold wave that rolls voluptuously.... + +Ah, love ... hunting ... fighting.... It's your light, Fire, that +discovers these passions in the depths of my being. It's time the little +winged creatures searching withered berries came near. I'll have them +soon! I'll watch, motionless in the brushwood, wildly wishing that the +earth itself might hide me, the muscles of my legs twitching with desire +to make the spring, my chin trembling.... Then, if I don't betray my +hiding-place by an irrepressible quavering, frightening them away in one +great commotion of wings and rustling branches!... But no, I'm master of +myself. One bound at exactly the right moment and my feeble prey is +panting under me. Oh, the ridiculous effort of a weak animal--its tiny +ineffectual claws and pointed wings beating against my face! My jaws +will open to the splitting point and my perfect nose wrinkle +ferociously, for the joy of holding a living, terrified body. I'll know +the intoxication of battle! I'll prance victoriously, shaking my head to +torment the bird a little, for it faints away too soon between my teeth! +Terrible to see I'll gallop towards the house, singing in a strangled +voice, without loosening my grip, for He must stop his scratching to +admire me, and She must give chase with distracted cries: "Wicked, +savage cat! Drop that bird! drop that bird!! Oh, I beg of you! It hurts +me so...." Ha! She never can have hunted.... + +I intend to astonish the world, Fire, during Winter's reign. The Cat +that lives at the farm (She says the farmer's cat, while we say the +Cat's farmer), the fellow that's so badly dressed, disfigured by the +nose of a weasel, and seems to walk on stilts, his legs are so +long--well, he sharpens his claws and regards me the while. Patience! +He's strong, brutal, irresolute, and utterly lacks distinction. The +slamming of a door terrifies him; he puts back his ears and flies, +panic-stricken. Still, I've seen him kill a good-sized hen, without +making any fuss about it. For a glance of the young cat's deceitful +eyes, or right of precedence on the garden wall, for a word of double +meaning, for nothing, but the fun of the thing--I'll take my chances +with him! He'll learn that a mysterious silence can demoralize the enemy +quite as effectively as murderous cries. The low garden wall seems to me +a convenient place. Let him try his hoarse miauling in all possible +keys! May his unsightly face, and more hideous body dislocate itself in +a deceitful ataxia (for they're still at these old tricks)! I'll be +proof against it all, and merely flash the green magnetism of my +magnificent eyes upon him. His brows will fall under their persistent +insult, a shudder will run along his spine, he'll do a few steps of our +ancient war dance--forward, back, forward again. But I'll +stand--motionless as the statue of a Cat. The green witchcraft of my +gaze will strike terror and madness into my rival and soon I'll see him +writhe, utter false cries, and, as a last resource, try to balance +himself on the nape of his neck, like a forked pear tree, only to roll +over shamefully into the potato field.... + +All that will come to pass, Fire, exactly as I've told it. To-day the +future dawns in your new flame.... I'm growing drowsy.... My purr and +your crackling are ceasing together.... I see you still and already I +catch glimpses of my dreams.... The silky sound of the rain against the +window is soft as a caress, and the water-pipe on the roof sobs low like +a pigeon.... + +Don't go out during my nap, Fire. Remember, you're the guardian of my +august repose--that delicate death, known as a Cat's sleep.... + + + +THE STORM + + +_A suffocating summer's day in the country. The blinds of the house are +half closed. Not a sound is heard from within; not a murmur from the +parched garden, where even the sensitive leaves of the mimosa hang +motionless_. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG _begin to feel uncomfortably conscious of +the coming storm, which is yet but a slate-blue plinth thickly painted +at the bottom of the dull blue sky-wall._ + +TOBY-DOG, (_restlessly lying first on one side, then on the other_) No +use! I can't be comfortable. What does this heat mean anyway? I must be +sick. It began at breakfast; I didn't like the meat and sniffed +disdainfully at my dog-biscuit. Something awful is going to happen. I +haven't done anything wrong that I know of--my conscience is clear--and +yet, I'm suffering. There lies my chum, shivering and unable to sleep. I +know by his quick breathing that he feels just as I do.... I say, Cat? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_irritably, in a low tone_) + +Be quiet! + +TOBY-DOG + +What? You're listening to some noise? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No! _Heavens_, no! Don't mention noise. The mere sound of your voice +makes the skin on my back go in waves like the sea. TOBY-DOG, +(_frightened_) + +Are you going to die? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I hope not. I've a sick headache. Can't you see the arteries throbbing +under the almost hairless skin of my temples--the transparent, bluish +skin that denotes a thoroughbred? It's atrocious! The veins on my +forehead are like writhing vipers, and I don't know _what_ gnome forges +in my brain! Oh, be quiet! Or at least speak so low that the coursing +of my agitated blood may drown the sound of your voice.... + +TOBY-DOG + +But it's this very silence that oppresses me. I tremble and don't know +why. I long for the familiar voice of the wind in the chimney, the +slamming of doors, the whispering of the garden, the poplars' ceaseless +rustle--it always sounds like a trickling spring-- + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +The uproar will come, soon enough. + +TOBY-DOG Do you think so? I wish He'd scratch paper. It's an idle +habit but an honored one. And see how listless She is, there in her +wicker chair. Their silence frightens me more than anything. She seems +asleep, but I can see her eyelashes move and the tips of her fingers, +too. She's forgetting to play with the little balls of thread and +doesn't sing, or whistle. She suffers just as we do.... Do you think +this can be the end of the world, Cat? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +No. It's a storm. Heavens! how uncomfortable I am! If I could only get +out of my skin, cast off this fleece which is smothering me, fling +myself naked as a skinned mouse into a fresher atmosphere! Oh Dog, you +cannot see the sparks that make every separate hair on my body crackle, +but I feel them. Don't come near! A blue flame is going to shoot out of +me.... + +TOBY-DOG, (_shuddering_) + +Things are coming to an awful pass! (_He drags himself to the porch_.) +_What_ have they done to the out-of-doors? Look! the trees are all blue +and the grass glistens like a sheet of water. What mournful sunlight! It +shines white on the slate roofs, and the little houses over there on the +hill look like brand new tombstones. A heavy odor, like bitter almond, +creeps from the white bell-shaped blossoms of the daturas, and makes me +feel sick and faint. Far away, some smoke, heavy as the perfume of the +daturas, goes slowly up in a straight line and falls again--like a +broken aigrette.... But come and see for yourself! + +(KIKI-THE-DEMURE _walks falteringly to the porch_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +My word, _you're_ changed too, Cat! You look as if you were starving, +your face is so drawn. Your fur is plastered down in some places and +sticking up in others; gives you the expression of a weasel that had +tumbled into oil. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Don't let that worry you! I'll regain my dignity--if ever another day +dawns for us. To-day, I drag myself around unwashed, uncombed, like a +woman out of love with love, and life.... + +TOBY-DOG + +You say such distressing things. I think I'll whine and call for help. +Perhaps I'd better go to Her, and look in her face for the comfort you +refuse me. But She seems asleep now, in that wicker chair, and how can I +read my fate in her eyes, when their lids are down. I'll lick her hand +very respectfully and ever so lightly! That will wake her and oh, may +her first caress drive away the evil charm! + +(_He licks the hand hanging at the side of the chair_.) + +SHE, (_with a scream_) Heavens! how you frightened me! Was there ever +such a ninny as this Dog? There!... + +(SHE _administers a smart rap on the nose_. TOBY'S _nerves give way and +he howls loud and long_.) + +SHE + +Quiet! Not a word I say! Out of my sight! I don't know what's the +matter, but I hate you! And that Cat sitting there, looking at me, like +a bump on a log!... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bristling_) + +If She dares to touch me, I'll devour her! + +(_Just at this dangerous crisis a low rumbling is heard, distant and +then near. Impossible to tell whether it comes from the horizon, or +arises in the house itself. All three lose interest in the quarrel_. + +TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _slink away, as if responding to a +signal, and seek shelter, one under the bookcase and the other under an +armchair_. SHE _turns anxiously to the leaden-hued garden, and the great +violet bank of cloud, which of a sudden is riven by a blinding streak of +blue fire_.) + +SHE, TOBY-DOG, KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_all together_) + +Oh! + +(_A sudden crash shakes the windows, and instantly a great rush of wind +envelopes the house, with a noise as of flapping canvas:--all the garden +prostrates itself_.) + +SHE, (_in anguish_) + +Heavens! the apples! + +TOBY-DOG, (_invisible_) + +I'll let them cut my ears into strips rather than leave this +hiding-place! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_invisible_) + +I can't help hearing, and it's as if I saw everything that's going on. +She hastens to close the windows. Someone is running on the stairs. Aie! +Another awful flame--and everything is falling in! Silence now.... I +wonder are they all dead? I'll look through the fringes of the chair, +though it's risking my life to do so. Ah, hailstones making holes in +the leaves! Here comes the rain, in silvery drops, wide apart, and so +heavy that the gravel wrinkles up when they fall. + +SHE, (_heart-broken_) + +I can hear the peaches falling, and the green nuts too! + +(_All three are silent. Rain; quivering streaks of lightning; hissing in +the pine-trees. The wind howls. A lull_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm not quite so afraid as I was. The sound of the rain relaxes my tired +nerves. I seem to feel its streaming warmth on my ears and the back of +my neck. Now the hubbub is further off! I can hear myself breathe. The +light coming under this bookcase, is brighter than it was. What is She +doing? I daren't go out yet. If only the Cat would move! (_He sticks +out his head, like a wary turtle. A flash of lightning makes him draw it +back again_.) Ha! It's beginning all over again. Rain by the bucketfuls +against the window-panes. Something in the chimney is trying to imitate +that far-away rumbling. Everything's falling to pieces ... and _She_ +gave me a rap on the nose! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Drop by drop, a little brownish river is filtering under the loose +window-sash. It's stretching out and out on the floor, winding its way +over to me. I'm so hot and thirsty, I'd like to lap up some of it. My +joints ache and my ears are tired of standing up like weather-cocks at +every crash. My jaws are still clenched with nervous fear. The seat of +this chair is too low; it annoys me, rubbing against the fur on my back. +However, it's some comfort to be able to _think_ of such things--thanks +to the peace that's descended on the house. The rain is falling quietly +and the wind has gone down, but the memory of the din still hums in my +ears. What can He be doing? The storm distresses him too. Why didn't He +come forward to calm the raging elements? There She is, opening the +porch door. Isn't it too soon?... No, for the hens are cackling like old +maids as they hop over the puddles. We're going to have fine weather. +Oh, the adorable smell of wet leaves and earth refreshed! It's so new, +so pure, I seem to breathe for the first time! + +(_He creeps stealthily to the porch_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_suddenly_) + +Um! How good! That smells like a walk! Things change so quickly one +hasn't time to think. She's opened the door? Let's run! (_He dashes +out_.) Well! well! the garden has got back its own color again! A +warmish vapor moistens my rough-grained nose. I'm filled with the desire +to jump and run. The grass is reeking, shining wet. Horned snails are +feeling around in the pink gravel with the tips of their eyes, and +speckled black and white slugs embroider the wall with a silver ribbon. +Oh! what a beautiful green and gold beastie running out there in the +wet! Shall I catch it? Shall I scratch its metallic shell, until it +breaks with a little crackling sound? No. I'd rather stay near Her. +She's leaning against the door, taking deep breaths and smiling quietly +to herself. I'm _so_ happy! Something inside me feels grateful to the +whole world. The light is beautiful, and I'm quite sure that there'll +never, never be another storm. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +I shan't wait any longer; I'm going out. I'll find dry places between +the puddles for my dainty paws to step on. An imperceptible thrill runs +through the streaming garden, making the jewels hung all about, tremble +and sparkle.... The slanting rays of the setting sun find their +reflection in my eyes which are spangled with green and gold. Down near +the horizon, where the sky is still unsettled, a glittering sword leaps +up and puts to flight the dark, fuming cloud-horses, that have been +galloping over our heads. Now the odor of the daturas rises and perfumes +all the air, mingled with that of lemon leaves, bruised by the hail. +The roses are crowned with midges. Oh sudden springtime! An involuntary +smile stretches the corners of my mouth. I'm going to play at tickling +my nostrils with the point of a sweet-smelling blade of grass, carefully +stretching my neck to avoid the falling drops. But I want Him to follow +and admire me. Will He not come out and enjoy himself with us? + +(_A voice is heard humming the motif of the_ Regensbogen: _sol, si, re, +sol, la, si,--all flats. A door opens and closes again_. HE _appears +under the dripping foliage of vines and jasmine, framing the veranda, +and at the same moment, a rainbow is seen in the sky_.) + + + + +A CALLER + + +(_A winter's afternoon, in Paris. The studio; a fire crackles gently in +the tower-shaped stove_. TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _one on the +floor, the other on his own particular cushion, proceed with the minute +toilet which follows a long siesta. Peace reigns_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +My nails grow faster here than in the country. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +It's the contrary, with mine. + +TOBY-DOG + +Really! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_) + +Not to be wondered at! She clips them for the sake of the hangings ... +Well! (_Magniloquently_), what can't be cured must be endured. + +TOBY-DOG + +What are you going to do to-day? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Why ... nothing. + +TOBY-DOG, (_ironically_) + +For a change I suppose. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE Pardon, to _avoid_ change. What is this rage for change +that takes possession of you all? Change means destruction. Only that +which remains stationary is eternal. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'm eternal then, these three hours past. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +But you've been out with Her, haven't you? You came in like a whirlwind; +bells rang, clothes were shaken out, you were sneezing and laughing and +aureoled with icy air.... The end of her nose felt so cold when She +kissed me on the forehead. She always kisses me there, just over the +dark stripes forming the classic M, which She assures me stands for +miaou and for Minet, my name in French. + +TOBY-DOG + +Yes ... we had a fine run on the banks of the fortifications, and then +we went into a shop. + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +Is that amusing? + +TOBY-DOG Not often. There are a great many people crowded together. +I'm immediately seized with the fear of losing Her, and I stick close to +her heels, no matter what comes. Strange feet push and knock me about +and step on my paws. I yelp but the skirts all around stifle my +voice.... When we're out of it, we both look as if we'd been +shipwrecked.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +May the gods preserve _me_ from anything of the sort! Here, the moments +have glided peacefully by. When She's not in this house, there's +nothing to hinder me; I employ the time as my system of hygiene +dictates. After my breakfast of rosy liver and milk, my kittenhood seems +to come back to me; I'm filled with a foolish gayety. I go over to him. +He's rumpling big, blackish papers and welcomes me with a quiet smile; +we loll on the same divan, and revel in a few idle moments together. +Sometimes, with imperious paw, I tear the paper He holds like a screen +between us. It always seems to me the most desirable--the one that +crackles best. He cries out, and I throw myself on my back and wriggle +with joy in a sort of horizontal dance, He calls "the dance of the +bayadeer." Then somehow, everything dwindles before my eyes, grows dim, +and far away; I want to rise and go back to my cushion, but dreams +already separate me from the world ... Ah! blessed hour when you and She +disappear, when the house is at rest and takes a long breath. Soon I'm +in the depths of a dark, sweet sleep; my ears alone keep watch and turn +like sensitive antennas towards vague sounds of doors and bells ... + +(_At this moment someone rings_. TOBY-DOG _and_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE _start +and change their positions. The Cat, sitting, encircles himself with his +fluffy tail. The Dog, in a sphinx-like attitude, lifts his head +boldly_.) + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE + +What's that? + +TOBY-DOG + +A tradesman? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shrugging his shoulders_) + +That's not the kitchen bell. Perhaps it's caller. + +TOBY-DOG, (_with a bound_) + +What luck! They'll have tea and cakes! Come on!! Sugar, sugar! Little +cakes! Little cakes!! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_gloomily_) + +To see ladies who shriek, and put gloved hands on my back--hands covered +with dead skin?... ugh! + +(_Feminine voices are heard--Hers among them--and the clear tinkling of +a little bell; then the door opens and a very diminutive toy terrier +enters, alone. She's black and tan, seems in love with herself, and +comes forward with a mincing step_.) + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_voice way up in her head_) + +I'm the darling little dog, so pretty! + +(TOBY _is struck dumb with admiration and astonishment_. KIKI, +_indignant, has jumped on top of the piano and remains an unseen and +hostile spectator_.) + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_astonished at not hearing the chorus of admiration +that everywhere greets her, is reciting_--) + +I'm the darling little dog, so pretty! I weigh only one pound, eleven +ounces, my collar is of gold, my ears of black satin, lined with shiny +rubber, my nails are polished like the beaks of little birds. (_Catching +sight of_ TOBY-DOG.) Oh!--someone--(_silence_). He's rather +good-looking. + +(_They ogle and strut_.) + +TOBY-DOG + +How tiny she is! + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Sir--don't come near me. + +TOBY-DOG + +Why not? + +THE LITTLE DOG + +I don't know. My mistress knows. She's not here. She stayed in the other +room. + +TOBY-DOG + +How old are you? + +THE LITTLE DOG Eleven months, (_reciting_) I'm eleven months old. At +the dog show, my mother took first prize for beauty. I weigh only one +pound eleven ounces and-- + +TOBY-DOG + +You've said that already. What makes you so little? + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the piano_) + +She's ugly, and has an evil odor. Her paws are deformed, she can't stand +still an instant, and this dog takes pains to make himself fascinating! + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_very coquettish and talkative_) It's my lineage, of +course. One can hold me in a muff. You've seen my new collar? It's +gold.... + +TOBY-DOG + +And what's that hanging from it? + +THE LITTLE DOG + +My mother's medal, Sir. I always wear it. I come from the _Palais de +Glace_, where I made quite a hit. Imagine! I wanted to bite a gentleman +who was speaking to my mistress. _How_ they laughed! + +(_She wriggles and chirps_.) + +TOBY-DOG, (_aside_) + +What an odd creature! Is she _really_ a dog? (_Sniffs_.) Yes ... smells +of rice powder, but it's a dog just the same. (_Aloud_.) Sit down a +moment, it makes me quite dizzy to see you moving about so. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Certainly. (_She lies down, like a miniature greyhound, crossing her +fore-paws to show the slimness of her toes_.) You were here all alone? + +TOBY-DOG, (_looking toward the piano_) + +Yes, no other dog. Why? + +THE LITTLE DOG + +There's a strange odor. + +TOBY-DOG + +The Cat, doubtless. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +The Cat? What's a Cat? I've never seen one. Do they leave you in the +room all alone? + +TOBY-DOG + +It happens so now and then. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +And you don't bark? _I_ cry as soon as I'm left alone. I'm bored, +afraid, feel sick, and chew up the cushions. + +TOBY-DOG + +And then you're whipped. + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_insulted_) + +I'm--what did you say? You're losing your senses, I imagine. (_Suddenly +amiable again_.) That would be a pity. You have lovely eyes. + +TOBY-DOG + +Haven't I? They show well, don't they? They're large, and then they +stick out. She says I have eyes like a lobster's, and sometimes She says +"his beautiful seal's eyes, his frog-like eyes of gold." + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Who's She? + +TOBY-DOG, (_simple_) + +She. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +I don't understand all you say, but I find you so _very_ sympathetic! +What are you doing this evening? + +TOBY-DOG + +Why ... I dine. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Naturally! I wanted to know whether they receive here this evening, or +do _you_ go out? + +TOBY-DOG + +No, I've been out already. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Driving? + +TOBY-DOG + +Walking--of course. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Why, of course? I hardly stir except in a carriage. Show me the +underside of your paws. Horrors! One would say 'twas the stone they +sharpen knives on! Look at mine. Satin on top, velvet underneath. + +TOBY-DOG + +I'd like to see you in the country, on the cobble-stones. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +I've been there, Sir. I was in the country last summer and there weren't +any cobble-stones. + +TOBY-DOG + +Then it wasn't the country. You don't know what country means. + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_vexed_) + +Indeed I do, Sir! It's fine sand, and velvety lawns that are swept every +morning; it's a reclining chair on the grass, great, fresh cushions of +cretonne, foamy milk, naps in the shade, and charming little red apples +to play with. + +TOBY-DOG, (_shaking his head_) + +No. It's the road covered with white powder that makes the eyelids smart +and the paws burn, the tough, shriveled, sweet-smelling grass, where I +scratch my nose and my gums; it's the fearful night--for I'm the only +one to guard them, He and She. I lie in my basket, but the beating of my +poor overdriven heart keeps me awake. I hear a dog crying to me from far +off, that the Bad Man has passed on the road. Is he coming in my +direction? Will I be obliged in another minute, my eyes bloodshot and +tongue dry as chalk, to throw myself upon him and devour his shadowy +face?... + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_trembling and in ecstasy_) + +Go on! Go on! Oh! how frightened I am!... + +TOBY-DOG, (_modestly_) Don't be afraid--it has never happened. All +that is the country, yes, and the interminable hill, in the shadow of +the carriage, when thirst, hunger, heat and fatigue, render the soul +submissive and hopeless ... + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_quite worked up_) + +And then? + +TOBY-DOG + +Oh, nothing. One arrives at the house, after all, and the pail of dark +water, one drinks without taking breath, ("his tongue," She says, "his +big tongue is parted in the center, like an iris-petal") while sore +eyelids and dusty lashes are splashed with cooling drops.... The country +is all that and many things besides.... + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_on the piano, musingly_) + +All that, yes ...and the habits of the year before that one finds again, +molded to one's shape, like a cushion marked with the imprint of a long +sleep ...the long nights of freedom, when the lone owlet, with his sad +little laugh, makes his way through the air as quietly as I do on the +ground, and silvery gray rats cling to the vines, eating grapes and +keeping their eyes on me at the same time. It's the sun-cure on the hot +stone-wall, from which I arise wan and shrunken, baked through and +through, but svelte enough to make the youngest tomcat envious. (_Coming +back to the present with a murderous look at_ THE LITTLE DOG.) Death to +you, ill-smelling beast, for having evoked these by-gone joys! Aren't +you going to disappear, that I may come down from this cold pedestal, +where my paws are growing numb? + +TOBY-DOG, (_enthusiastically to_ THE LITTLE DOG) + +But let us forget all that! With you there, I can think of nothing but +you. I feel that I love you! + +THE LITTLE DOG, (_lowering her eyes_) + +Do you mean ...really? + +TOBY-DOG + +Of course I do! + +THE LITTLE DOG + +So soon! + +TOBY-DOG + +We've already wasted a great deal of time. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +But ... we've been chatting. I've enjoyed it very much ... and I fail to +understand why the society of young dogs like you, is forbidden me ... + +TOBY-DOG + +Allow me to make love to you. + +THE LITTLE DOG + +What's that? + +TOBY-DOG + +I'll show you. First I hold myself very erect, stiffen my legs, walk +'round you, barking low and melodiously. My tail wriggles, my ears ... + +THE LITTLE DOG + +Don't come near me. I feel quite upset. (_Escaping_.) Aie! You +unmannerly fellow! + +KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_standing up_) + +These preludes are indeed a sad parody on our wild love-making ... +(_aloud, very angry_) I should think-- + +THE LITTLE DOG _looks to see where the dreadful voice is coming from, +and espies a strange striped monster with eyes afire, and eyebrows and +whiskers bristling ferociously. She dashes towards the door crying_, + +Help, help! There's a tiger on the piano!... + +_And falls into the arms of her mistress, who has come upon the scene +and proceeds to console her with great volubility; Fifi! my Zezette! My +darling! there, there, goo, goo, goo, goo, you poor helpless little +doggie! What did they do to her? Ooooo!--Ooo! Was it the naughty +bow-bow? etc., etc., etc_. + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Barks and Purrs +by Colette Willy, aka Colette +Translated by Maire Kelly + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BARKS AND PURRS *** + +***** This file should be named 11737.txt or 11737.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/7/3/11737/ + +Produced by Hilary Caws-Elwitt and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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