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diff --git a/old/1146-h.zip b/old/1146-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ff4d33 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1146-h.zip diff --git a/old/1146-h/1146-h.htm b/old/1146-h/1146-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0ccd99d --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1146-h/1146-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4714 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + The Journal of a Voyage to Lisbon, by Henry Fielding + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Project Gutenberg's Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon, by Henry Fielding + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon + +Author: Henry Fielding + +Release Date: July 27, 2008 [EBook #1146] +Last Updated: January 26, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Keller, and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + by Henry Fielding + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_INTR"> INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_INTR2"> INTRODUCTION </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> THE VOYAGE </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_INTR" id="link2H_INTR"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS + </h2> + <p> + When it was determined to extend the present edition of Fielding, not + merely by the addition of Jonathan Wild to the three universally popular + novels, but by two volumes of Miscellanies, there could be no doubt about + at least one of the contents of these latter. The Journal of a Voyage to + Lisbon, if it does not rank in my estimation anywhere near to Jonathan + Wild as an example of our author's genius, is an invaluable and delightful + document for his character and memory. It is indeed, as has been pointed + out in the General Introduction to this series, our main source of + indisputable information as to Fielding dans son naturel, and its value, + so far as it goes, is of the very highest. The gentle and unaffected + stoicism which the author displays under a disease which he knew well was + probably, if not certainly, mortal, and which, whether mortal or not, must + cause him much actual pain and discomfort of a kind more intolerable than + pain itself; his affectionate care for his family; even little personal + touches, less admirable, but hardly less pleasant than these, showing an + Englishman's dislike to be "done" and an Englishman's determination to be + treated with proper respect, are scarcely less noticeable and important on + the biographical side than the unimpaired brilliancy of his satiric and + yet kindly observation of life and character is on the side of literature. + </p> + <p> + There is, as is now well known since Mr. Dobson's separate edition of the + Voyage, a little bibliographical problem about the first appearance of + this Journal in 1755. The best known issue of that year is much shorter + than the version inserted by Murphy and reprinted here, the passages + omitted being chiefly those reflecting on the captain, etc., and so likely + to seem invidious in a book published just after the author's death, and + for the benefit, as was expressly announced, of his family. But the + curious thing is that there is ANOTHER edition, of date so early that some + argument is necessary to determine the priority, which does give these + passages and is identical with the later or standard version. For + satisfaction on this point, however, I must refer readers to Mr. Dobson + himself. + </p> + <p> + There might have been a little, but not much, doubt as to a companion + piece for the Journal; for indeed, after we close this (with or without + its "Fragment on Bolingbroke"), the remainder of Fielding's work lies on a + distinctly lower level of interest. It is still interesting, or it would + not be given here. It still has—at least that part which here + appears seems to its editor to have—interest intrinsic and "simple + of itself." But it is impossible for anybody who speaks critically to deny + that we now get into the region where work is more interesting because of + its authorship than it would be if its authorship were different or + unknown. To put the same thing in a sharper antithesis, Fielding is + interesting, first of all, because he is the author of Joseph Andrews, of + Tom Jones, of Amelia, of Jonathan Wild, of the Journal. His plays, his + essays, his miscellanies generally are interesting, first of all, because + they were written by Fielding. + </p> + <p> + Yet of these works, the Journey from this World to the Next (which, by a + grim trick of fortune, might have served as a title for the more + interesting Voyage with which we have yoked it) stands clearly first both + in scale and merit. It is indeed very unequal, and as the author was to + leave it unfinished, it is a pity that he did not leave it unfinished much + sooner than he actually did. The first ten chapters, if of a kind of + satire which has now grown rather obsolete for the nonce, are of a good + kind and good in their kind; the history of the metempsychoses of Julian + is of a less good kind, and less good in that kind. The date of + composition of the piece is not known, but it appeared in the Miscellanies + of 1743, and may represent almost any period of its author's development + prior to that year. Its form was a very common form at the time, and + continued to be so. I do not know that it is necessary to assign any very + special origin to it, though Lucian, its chief practitioner, was evidently + and almost avowedly a favorite study of Fielding's. The Spanish romancers, + whether borrowing it from Lucian or not, had been fond of it; their French + followers, of whom the chief were Fontenelle and Le Sage, had carried it + northwards; the English essayists had almost from the beginning continued + the process of acclimatization. Fielding therefore found it ready to his + hand, though the present condition of this example would lead us to + suppose that he did not find his hand quite ready to it. Still, in the + actual "journey," there are touches enough of the master—not yet + quite in his stage of mastery. It seemed particularly desirable not to + close the series without some representation of the work to which Fielding + gave the prime of his manhood, and from which, had he not, fortunately for + English literature, been driven decidedly against his will, we had had in + all probability no Joseph Andrews, and pretty certainly no Tom Jones. + Fielding's periodical and dramatic work has been comparatively seldom + reprinted, and has never yet been reprinted as a whole. The dramas indeed + are open to two objections—the first, that they are not very + "proper;" the second, and much more serious, that they do not redeem this + want of propriety by the possession of any remarkable literary merit. + Three (or two and part of a third) seemed to escape this double censure—the + first two acts of the Author's Farce (practically a piece to themselves, + for the Puppet Show which follows is almost entirely independent); the + famous burlesque of Tom Thumb, which stands between the Rehearsal and the + Critic, but nearer to the former; and Pasquin, the maturest example of + Fielding's satiric work in drama. These accordingly have been selected; + the rest I have read, and he who likes may read. I have read many worse + things than even the worst of them, but not often worse things by so good + a writer as Henry Fielding. The next question concerned the selection of + writings more miscellaneous still, so as to give in little a complete idea + of Fielding's various powers and experiments. Two difficulties beset this + part of the task—want of space and the absence of anything so + markedly good as absolutely to insist on inclusion. The Essay on + Conversation, however, seemed pretty peremptorily to challenge a place. It + is in a style which Fielding was very slow to abandon, which indeed has + left strong traces even on his great novels; and if its mannerism is not + now very attractive, the separate traits in it are often sharp and + well-drawn. The book would not have been complete without a specimen or + two of Fielding's journalism. The Champion, his first attempt of this + kind, has not been drawn upon in consequence of the extreme difficulty of + fixing with absolute certainty on Fielding's part in it. I do not know + whether political prejudice interferes, more than I have usually found it + interfere, with my judgment of the two Hanoverian-partisan papers of the + '45 time. But they certainly seem to me to fail in redeeming their dose of + rancor and misrepresentation by any sufficient evidence of genius such as, + to my taste, saves not only the party journalism in verse and prose of + Swift and Canning and Praed on one side, but that of Wolcot and Moore and + Sydney Smith on the other. Even the often-quoted journal of events in + London under the Chevalier is overwrought and tedious. The best thing in + the True Patriot seems to me to be Parson Adams' letter describing his + adventure with a young "bowe" of his day; and this I select, together with + one or two numbers of the Covent Garden Journal. I have not found in this + latter anything more characteristic than Murphy's selection, though Mr. + Dobson, with his unfailing kindness, lent me an original and unusually + complete set of the Journal itself. + </p> + <p> + It is to the same kindness that I owe the opportunity of presenting the + reader with something indisputably Fielding's and very characteristic of + him, which Murphy did not print, and which has not, so far as I know, ever + appeared either in a collection or a selection of Fielding's work. After + the success of David Simple, Fielding gave his sister, for whom he had + already written a preface to that novel, another preface for a set of + Familiar Letters between the characters of David Simple and others. This + preface Murphy reprinted; but he either did not notice, or did not choose + to attend to, a note towards the end of the book attributing certain of + the letters to the author of the preface, the attribution being + accompanied by an agreeably warm and sisterly denunciation of those who + ascribed to Fielding matter unworthy of him. From these the letter which I + have chosen, describing a row on the Thames, seems to me not only + characteristic, but, like all this miscellaneous work, interesting no less + for its weakness than for its strength. In hardly any other instance known + to me can we trace so clearly the influence of a suitable medium and form + on the genius of the artist. There are some writers—Dryden is + perhaps the greatest of them—to whom form and medium seem almost + indifferent, their all-round craftsmanship being such that they can turn + any kind and every style to their purpose. There are others, of whom I + think our present author is the chief, who are never really at home but in + one kind. In Fielding's case that kind was narrative of a peculiar sort, + half-sentimental, half-satirical, and almost wholly sympathetic—narrative + which has the singular gift of portraying the liveliest character and yet + of admitting the widest disgression and soliloquy. + </p> + <p> + Until comparatively late in his too short life, when he found this special + path of his (and it is impossible to say whether the actual finding was in + the case of Jonathan or in the case of Joseph), he did but flounder and + slip. When he had found it, and was content to walk in it, he strode with + as sure and steady a step as any other, even the greatest, of those who + carry and hand on the torch of literature through the ages. But it is + impossible to derive full satisfaction from his feats in this part of the + race without some notion of his performances elsewhere; and I believe that + such a notion will be supplied to the readers of his novels by the + following volumes, in a very large number of cases, for the first time. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC + </h2> + <p> + Your candor is desired on the perusal of the following sheets, as they are + the product of a genius that has long been your delight and entertainment. + It must be acknowledged that a lamp almost burnt out does not give so + steady and uniform a light as when it blazes in its full vigor; but yet it + is well known that by its wavering, as if struggling against its own + dissolution, it sometimes darts a ray as bright as ever. In like manner, a + strong and lively genius will, in its last struggles, sometimes mount + aloft, and throw forth the most striking marks of its original luster. + </p> + <p> + Wherever these are to be found, do you, the genuine patrons of + extraordinary capacities, be as liberal in your applauses of him who is + now no more as you were of him whilst he was yet amongst you. And, on the + other hand, if in this little work there should appear any traces of a + weakened and decayed life, let your own imaginations place before your + eyes a true picture in that of a hand trembling in almost its latest hour, + of a body emaciated with pains, yet struggling for your entertainment; and + let this affecting picture open each tender heart, and call forth a + melting tear, to blot out whatever failings may be found in a work begun + in pain, and finished almost at the same period with life. It was thought + proper by the friends of the deceased that this little piece should come + into your hands as it came from the hands of the author, it being judged + that you would be better pleased to have an opportunity of observing the + faintest traces of a genius you have long admired, than have it patched by + a different hand, by which means the marks of its true author might have + been effaced. That the success of the last written, though first + published, volume of the author's posthumous pieces may be attended with + some convenience to those innocents he hath left behind, will no doubt be + a motive to encourage its circulation through the kingdom, which will + engage every future genius to exert itself for your pleasure. The + principles and spirit which breathe in every line of the small fragment + begun in answer to Lord Bolingbroke will unquestionably be a sufficient + apology for its publication, although vital strength was wanting to finish + a work so happily begun and so well designed. PREFACE THERE would not, + perhaps, be a more pleasant or profitable study, among those which have + their principal end in amusement, than that of travels or voyages, if they + were wrote as they might be and ought to be, with a joint view to the + entertainment and information of mankind. If the conversation of travelers + be so eagerly sought after as it is, we may believe their books will be + still more agreeable company, as they will in general be more instructive + and more entertaining. But when I say the conversation of travelers is + usually so welcome, I must be understood to mean that only of such as have + had good sense enough to apply their peregrinations to a proper use, so as + to acquire from them a real and valuable knowledge of men and things, both + which are best known by comparison. If the customs and manners of men were + everywhere the same, there would be no office so dull as that of a + traveler, for the difference of hills, valleys, rivers, in short, the + various views of which we may see the face of the earth, would scarce + afford him a pleasure worthy of his labor; and surely it would give him + very little opportunity of communicating any kind of entertainment or + improvement to others. + </p> + <p> + To make a traveler an agreeable companion to a man of sense, it is + necessary, not only that he should have seen much, but that he should have + overlooked much of what he hath seen. Nature is not, any more than a great + genius, always admirable in her productions, and therefore the traveler, + who may be called her commentator, should not expect to find everywhere + subjects worthy of his notice. It is certain, indeed, that one may be + guilty of omission, as well as of the opposite extreme; but a fault on + that side will be more easily pardoned, as it is better to be hungry than + surfeited; and to miss your dessert at the table of a man whose gardens + abound with the choicest fruits, than to have your taste affronted with + every sort of trash that can be picked up at the green-stall or the + wheel-barrow. If we should carry on the analogy between the traveler and + the commentator, it is impossible to keep one's eye a moment off from the + laborious much-read doctor Zachary Gray, of whose redundant notes on + Hudibras I shall only say that it is, I am confident, the single book + extant in which above five hundred authors are quoted, not one of which + could be found in the collection of the late doctor Mead. + </p> + <p> + As there are few things which a traveler is to record, there are fewer on + which he is to offer his observations: this is the office of the reader; + and it is so pleasant a one, that he seldom chooses to have it taken from + him, under the pretense of lending him assistance. Some occasions, indeed, + there are, when proper observations are pertinent, and others when they + are necessary; but good sense alone must point them out. I shall lay down + only one general rule; which I believe to be of universal truth between + relator and hearer, as it is between author and reader; this is, that the + latter never forgive any observation of the former which doth not convey + some knowledge that they are sensible they could not possibly have + attained of themselves. + </p> + <p> + But all his pains in collecting knowledge, all his judgment in selecting, + and all his art in communicating it, will not suffice, unless he can make + himself, in some degree, an agreeable as well as an instructive companion. + The highest instruction we can derive from the tedious tale of a dull + fellow scarce ever pays us for our attention. There is nothing, I think, + half so valuable as knowledge, and yet there is nothing which men will + give themselves so little trouble to attain; unless it be, perhaps, that + lowest degree of it which is the object of curiosity, and which hath + therefore that active passion constantly employed in its service. This, + indeed, it is in the power of every traveler to gratify; but it is the + leading principle in weak minds only. + </p> + <p> + To render his relation agreeable to the man of sense, it is therefore + necessary that the voyager should possess several eminent and rare + talents; so rare indeed, that it is almost wonderful to see them ever + united in the same person. And if all these talents must concur in the + relator, they are certainly in a more eminent degree necessary to the + writer; for here the narration admits of higher ornaments of style, and + every fact and sentiment offers itself to the fullest and most deliberate + examination. It would appear, therefore, I think, somewhat strange if such + writers as these should be found extremely common; since nature hath been + a most parsimonious distributor of her richest talents, and hath seldom + bestowed many on the same person. But, on the other hand, why there should + scarce exist a single writer of this kind worthy our regard; and, whilst + there is no other branch of history (for this is history) which hath not + exercised the greatest pens, why this alone should be overlooked by all + men of great genius and erudition, and delivered up to the Goths and + Vandals as their lawful property, is altogether as difficult to determine. + And yet that this is the case, with some very few exceptions, is most + manifest. Of these I shall willingly admit Burnet and Addison; if the + former was not, perhaps, to be considered as a political essayist, and the + latter as a commentator on the classics, rather than as a writer of + travels; which last title, perhaps, they would both of them have been + least ambitious to affect. Indeed, if these two and two or three more + should be removed from the mass, there would remain such a heap of + dullness behind, that the appellation of voyage-writer would not appear + very desirable. I am not here unapprised that old Homer himself is by some + considered as a voyage-writer; and, indeed, the beginning of his Odyssey + may be urged to countenance that opinion, which I shall not controvert. + But, whatever species of writing the Odyssey is of, it is surely at the + head of that species, as much as the Iliad is of another; and so far the + excellent Longinus would allow, I believe, at this day. + </p> + <p> + But, in reality, the Odyssey, the Telemachus, and all of that kind, are to + the voyage-writing I here intend, what romance is to true history, the + former being the confounder and corrupter of the latter. I am far from + supposing that Homer, Hesiod, and the other ancient poets and + mythologists, had any settled design to pervert and confuse the records of + antiquity; but it is certain they have effected it; and for my part I must + confess I should have honored and loved Homer more had he written a true + history of his own times in humble prose, than those noble poems that have + so justly collected the praise of all ages; for, though I read these with + more admiration and astonishment, I still read Herodotus, Thucydides, and + Xenophon with more amusement and more satisfaction. The original poets + were not, however, without excuse. They found the limits of nature too + straight for the immensity of their genius, which they had not room to + exert without extending fact by fiction: and that especially at a time + when the manners of men were too simple to afford that variety which they + have since offered in vain to the choice of the meanest writers. In doing + this they are again excusable for the manner in which they have done it. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Ut speciosa dehine miracula promant. +</pre> + <p> + They are not, indeed, so properly said to turn reality into fiction, as + fiction into reality. Their paintings are so bold, their colors so strong, + that everything they touch seems to exist in the very manner they + represent it; their portraits are so just, and their landscapes so + beautiful, that we acknowledge the strokes of nature in both, without + inquiring whether Nature herself, or her journeyman the poet, formed the + first pattern of the piece. But other writers (I will put Pliny at their + head) have no such pretensions to indulgence; they lie for lying sake, or + in order insolently to impose the most monstrous improbabilities and + absurdities upon their readers on their own authority; treating them as + some fathers treat children, and as other fathers do laymen, exacting + their belief of whatever they relate, on no other foundation than their + own authority, without ever taking the pains or adapting their lies to + human credulity, and of calculating them for the meridian of a common + understanding; but, with as much weakness as wickedness, and with more + impudence often than either, they assert facts contrary to the honor of + God, to the visible order of the creation, to the known laws of nature, to + the histories of former ages, and to the experience of our own, and which + no man can at once understand and believe. If it should be objected (and + it can nowhere be objected better than where I now write, <a + href="#linknote-12" name="linknoteref-12" id="linknoteref-12"><small>12</small></a> + as there is nowhere more pomp of bigotry) that whole nations have been + firm believers in such most absurd suppositions, I reply, the fact is not + true. They have known nothing of the matter, and have believed they knew + not what. It is, indeed, with me no matter of doubt but that the pope and + his clergy might teach any of those Christian heterodoxies, the tenets of + which are the most diametrically opposite to their own; nay, all the + doctrines of Zoroaster, Confucius, and Mahomet, not only with certain and + immediate success, but without one Catholic in a thousand knowing he had + changed his religion. + </p> + <p> + What motive a man can have to sit down, and to draw forth a list of + stupid, senseless, incredible lies upon paper, would be difficult to + determine, did not Vanity present herself so immediately as the adequate + cause. The vanity of knowing more than other men is, perhaps, besides + hunger, the only inducement to writing, at least to publishing, at all. + Why then should not the voyage-writer be inflamed with the glory of having + seen what no man ever did or will see but himself? This is the true source + of the wonderful in the discourse and writings, and sometimes, I believe, + in the actions of men. There is another fault, of a kind directly opposite + to this, to which these writers are sometimes liable, when, instead of + filling their pages with monsters which nobody hath ever seen, and with + adventures which never have, nor could possibly have, happened to them, + waste their time and paper with recording things and facts of so common a + kind, that they challenge no other right of being remembered than as they + had the honor of having happened to the author, to whom nothing seems + trivial that in any manner happens to himself. + </p> + <p> + Of such consequence do his own actions appear to one of this kind, that he + would probably think himself guilty of infidelity should he omit the + minutest thing in the detail of his journal. That the fact is true is + sufficient to give it a place there, without any consideration whether it + is capable of pleasing or surprising, of diverting or informing, the + reader. I have seen a play (if I mistake not it is one of Mrs. Behn's or + of Mrs. Centlivre's) where this vice in a voyage-writer is finely + ridiculed. An ignorant pedant, to whose government, for I know not what + reason, the conduct of a young nobleman in his travels is committed, and + who is sent abroad to show my lord the world, of which he knows nothing + himself, before his departure from a town, calls for his Journal to record + the goodness of the wine and tobacco, with other articles of the same + importance, which are to furnish the materials of a voyage at his return + home. The humor, it is true, is here carried very far; and yet, perhaps, + very little beyond what is to be found in writers who profess no intention + of dealing in humor at all. Of one or other, or both of these kinds, are, + I conceive, all that vast pile of books which pass under the names of + voyages, travels, adventures, lives, memoirs, histories, etc., some of + which a single traveler sends into the world in many volumes, and others + are, by judicious booksellers, collected into vast bodies in folio, and + inscribed with their own names, as if they were indeed their own travels: + thus unjustly attributing to themselves the merit of others. + </p> + <p> + Now, from both these faults we have endeavored to steer clear in the + following narrative; which, however the contrary may be insinuated by + ignorant, unlearned, and fresh-water critics, who have never traveled + either in books or ships, I do solemnly declare doth, in my own impartial + opinion, deviate less from truth than any other voyage extant; my lord + Anson's alone being, perhaps, excepted. Some few embellishments must be + allowed to every historian; for we are not to conceive that the speeches + in Livy, Sallust, or Thucydides, were literally spoken in the very words + in which we now read them. It is sufficient that every fact hath its + foundation in truth, as I do seriously aver is the ease in the ensuing + pages; and when it is so, a good critic will be so far from denying all + kind of ornament of style or diction, or even of circumstance, to his + author, that he would be rather sorry if he omitted it; for he could hence + derive no other advantage than the loss of an additional pleasure in the + perusal. + </p> + <p> + Again, if any merely common incident should appear in this journal, which + will seldom I apprehend be the case, the candid reader will easily + perceive it is not introduced for its own sake, but for some observations + and reflections naturally resulting from it; and which, if but little to + his amusement, tend directly to the instruction of the reader or to the + information of the public; to whom if I choose to convey such instruction + or information with an air of joke and laughter, none but the dullest of + fellows will, I believe, censure it; but if they should, I have the + authority of more than one passage in Horace to allege in my defense. + Having thus endeavored to obviate some censures, to which a man without + the gift of foresight, or any fear of the imputation of being a conjurer, + might conceive this work would be liable, I might now undertake a more + pleasing task, and fall at once to the direct and positive praises of the + work itself; of which indeed, I could say a thousand good things; but the + task is so very pleasant that I shall leave it wholly to the reader, and + it is all the task that I impose on him. A moderation for which he may + think himself obliged to me when he compares it with the conduct of + authors, who often fill a whole sheet with their own praises, to which + they sometimes set their own real names, and sometimes a fictitious one. + One hint, however, I must give the kind reader; which is, that if he + should be able to find no sort of amusement in the book, he will be + pleased to remember the public utility which will arise from it. If + entertainment, as Mr. Richardson observes, be but a secondary + consideration in a romance; with which Mr. Addison, I think, agrees, + affirming the use of the pastry cook to be the first; if this, I say, be + true of a mere work of invention, sure it may well be so considered in a + work founded, like this, on truth; and where the political reflections + form so distinguishing a part. But perhaps I may hear, from some critic of + the most saturnine complexion, that my vanity must have made a horrid dupe + of my judgment, if it hath flattered me with an expectation of having + anything here seen in a grave light, or of conveying any useful + instruction to the public, or to their guardians. I answer, with the great + man whom I just now quoted, that my purpose is to convey instruction in + the vehicle of entertainment; and so to bring about at once, like the + revolution in the Rehearsal, a perfect reformation of the laws relating to + our maritime affairs: an undertaking, I will not say more modest, but + surely more feasible, than that of reforming a whole people, by making use + of a vehicular story, to wheel in among them worse manners than their own. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_INTR2" id="link2H_INTR2"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + INTRODUCTION + </h2> + <p> + In the beginning of August, 1753, when I had taken the duke of Portland's + medicine, as it is called, near a year, the effects of which had been the + carrying off the symptoms of a lingering imperfect gout, I was persuaded + by Mr. Ranby, the king's premier sergeant-surgeon, and the ablest advice, + I believe, in all branches of the physical profession, to go immediately + to Bath. I accordingly wrote that very night to Mrs. Bowden, who, by the + next post, informed me she had taken me a lodging for a month certain. + Within a few days after this, whilst I was preparing for my journey, and + when I was almost fatigued to death with several long examinations, + relating to five different murders, all committed within the space of a + week, by different gangs of street-robbers, I received a message from his + grace the duke of Newcastle, by Mr. Carrington, the king's messenger, to + attend his grace the next morning, in Lincoln's-inn-fields, upon some + business of importance; but I excused myself from complying with the + message, as, besides being lame, I was very ill with the great fatigues I + had lately undergone added to my distemper. + </p> + <p> + His grace, however, sent Mr. Carrington, the very next morning, with + another summons; with which, though in the utmost distress, I immediately + complied; but the duke, happening, unfortunately for me, to be then + particularly engaged, after I had waited some time, sent a gentleman to + discourse with me on the best plan which could be invented for putting an + immediate end to those murders and robberies which were every day + committed in the streets; upon which I promised to transmit my opinion, in + writing, to his grace, who, as the gentleman informed me, intended to lay + it before the privy council. + </p> + <p> + Though this visit cost me a severe cold, I, notwithstanding, set myself + down to work; and in about four days sent the duke as regular a plan as I + could form, with all the reasons and arguments I could bring to support + it, drawn out in several sheets of paper; and soon received a message from + the duke by Mr. Carrington, acquainting me that my plan was highly + approved of, and that all the terms of it would be complied with. The + principal and most material of those terms was the immediately depositing + six hundred pound in my hands; at which small charge I undertook to + demolish the then reigning gangs, and to put the civil policy into such + order, that no such gangs should ever be able, for the future, to form + themselves into bodies, or at least to remain any time formidable to the + public. + </p> + <p> + I had delayed my Bath journey for some time, contrary to the repeated + advice of my physical acquaintance, and to the ardent desire of my warmest + friends, though my distemper was now turned to a deep jaundice; in which + case the Bath waters are generally reputed to be almost infallible. But I + had the most eager desire of demolishing this gang of villains and + cut-throats, which I was sure of accomplishing the moment I was enabled to + pay a fellow who had undertaken, for a small sum, to betray them into the + hands of a set of thief-takers whom I had enlisted into the service, all + men of known and approved fidelity and intrepidity. + </p> + <p> + After some weeks the money was paid at the treasury, and within a few days + after two hundred pounds of it had come to my hands, the whole gang of + cut-throats was entirely dispersed, seven of them were in actual custody, + and the rest driven, some out of the town, and others out of the kingdom. + Though my health was now reduced to the last extremity, I continued to act + with the utmost vigor against these villains; in examining whom, and in + taking the depositions against them, I have often spent whole days, nay, + sometimes whole nights, especially when there was any difficulty in + procuring sufficient evidence to convict them; which is a very common case + in street-robberies, even when the guilt of the party is sufficiently + apparent to satisfy the most tender conscience. But courts of justice know + nothing of a cause more than what is told them on oath by a witness; and + the most flagitious villain upon earth is tried in the same manner as a + man of the best character who is accused of the same crime. Meanwhile, + amidst all my fatigues and distresses, I had the satisfaction to find my + endeavors had been attended with such success that this hellish society + were almost utterly extirpated, and that, instead of reading of murders + and street-robberies in the news almost every morning, there was, in the + remaining part of the month of November, and in all December, not only no + such thing as a murder, but not even a street-robbery committed. Some + such, indeed, were mentioned in the public papers; but they were all found + on the strictest inquiry, to be false. In this entire freedom from + street-robberies, during the dark months, no man will, I believe, scruple + to acknowledge that the winter of 1753 stands unrivaled, during a course + of many years; and this may possibly appear the more extraordinary to + those who recollect the outrages with which it began. Having thus fully + accomplished my undertaking, I went into the country, in a very weak and + deplorable condition, with no fewer or less diseases than a jaundice, a + dropsy, and an asthma, altogether uniting their forces in the destruction + of a body so entirely emaciated that it had lost all its muscular flesh. + Mine was now no longer what was called a Bath case; nor, if it had been + so, had I strength remaining sufficient to go thither, a ride of six miles + only being attended with an intolerable fatigue. I now discharged my + lodgings at Bath, which I had hitherto kept. I began in earnest to look on + my case as desperate, and I had vanity enough to rank myself with those + heroes who, of old times, became voluntary sacrifices to the good of the + public. But, lest the reader should be too eager to catch at the word + VANITY, and should be unwilling to indulge me with so sublime a + gratification, for I think he is not too apt to gratify me, I will take my + key a pitch lower, and will frankly own that I had a stronger motive than + the love of the public to push me on: I will therefore confess to him that + my private affairs at the beginning of the winter had but a gloomy aspect; + for I had not plundered the public or the poor of those sums which men, + who are always ready to plunder both as much as they can, have been + pleased to suspect me of taking: on the contrary, by composing, instead of + inflaming the quarrels of porters and beggars (which I blush when I say + hath not been universally practiced), and by refusing to take a shilling + from a man who most undoubtedly would not have had another left, I had + reduced an income of about five hundred pounds <a href="#linknote-13" + name="linknoteref-13" id="linknoteref-13"><small>13</small></a> a-year of + the dirtiest money upon earth to little more than three hundred pounds; a + considerable proportion of which remained with my clerk; and, indeed, if + the whole had done so, as it ought, he would be but ill paid for sitting + almost sixteen hours in the twenty-four in the most unwholesome, as well + as nauseous air in the universe, and which hath in his case corrupted a + good constitution without contaminating his morals. + </p> + <p> + The public will not, therefore, I hope, think I betray a secret when I + inform them that I received from the Government a yearly pension out of + the public service money; which, I believe, indeed, would have been larger + had my great patron been convinced of an error, which I have heard him + utter more than once, that he could not indeed say that the acting as a + principal justice of peace in Westminster was on all accounts very + desirable, but that all the world knew it was a very lucrative office. + Now, to have shown him plainly that a man must be a rogue to make a very + little this way, and that he could not make much by being as great a rogue + as he could be, would have required more confidence than, I believe, he + had in me, and more of his conversation than he chose to allow me; I + therefore resigned the office and the farther execution of my plan to my + brother, who had long been my assistant. And now, lest the case between me + and the reader should be the same in both instances as it was between me + and the great man, I will not add another word on the subject. + </p> + <p> + But, not to trouble the reader with anecdotes, contrary to my own rule + laid down in my preface, I assure him I thought my family was very + slenderly provided for; and that my health began to decline so fast that I + had very little more of life left to accomplish what I had thought of too + late. I rejoiced therefore greatly in seeing an opportunity, as I + apprehended, of gaining such merit in the eye of the public, that, if my + life were the sacrifice to it, my friends might think they did a popular + act in putting my family at least beyond the reach of necessity, which I + myself began to despair of doing. And though I disclaim all pretense to + that Spartan or Roman patriotism which loved the public so well that it + was always ready to become a voluntary sacrifice to the public good, I do + solemnly declare I have that love for my family. + </p> + <p> + After this confession therefore, that the public was not the principal + deity to which my life was offered a sacrifice, and when it is farther + considered what a poor sacrifice this was, being indeed no other than the + giving up what I saw little likelihood of being able to hold much longer, + and which, upon the terms I held it, nothing but the weakness of human + nature could represent to me as worth holding at all; the world may, I + believe, without envy, allow me all the praise to which I have any title. + My aim, in fact, was not praise, which is the last gift they care to + bestow; at least, this was not my aim as an end, but rather as a means of + purchasing some moderate provision for my family, which, though it should + exceed my merit, must fall infinitely short of my service, if I succeeded + in my attempt. To say the truth, the public never act more wisely than + when they act most liberally in the distribution of their rewards; and + here the good they receive is often more to be considered than the motive + from which they receive it. Example alone is the end of all public + punishments and rewards. Laws never inflict disgrace in resentment, nor + confer honor from gratitude. "For it is very hard, my lord," said a + convicted felon at the bar to the late excellent judge Burnet, "to hang a + poor man for stealing a horse." "You are not to be hanged sir," answered + my ever-honored and beloved friend, "for stealing a horse, but you are to + be hanged that horses may not be stolen." In like manner it might have + been said to the late duke of Marlborough, when the parliament was so + deservedly liberal to him, after the battle of Blenheim, "You receive not + these honors and bounties on account of a victory past, but that other + victories may be obtained." + </p> + <p> + I was now, in the opinion of all men, dying of a complication of + disorders; and, were I desirous of playing the advocate, I have an + occasion fair enough; but I disdain such an attempt. I relate facts + plainly and simply as they are; and let the world draw from them what + conclusions they please, taking with them the following facts for their + instruction: the one is, that the proclamation offering one hundred pounds + for the apprehending felons for certain felonies committed in certain + places, which I prevented from being revived, had formerly cost the + government several thousand pounds within a single year. Secondly, that + all such proclamations, instead of curing the evil, had actually increased + it; had multiplied the number of robberies; had propagated the worst and + wickedest of perjuries; had laid snares for youth and ignorance, which, by + the temptation of these rewards, had been sometimes drawn into guilt; and + sometimes, which cannot be thought on without the highest horror, had + destroyed them without it. Thirdly, that my plan had not put the + government to more than three hundred pound expense, and had produced none + of the ill consequences above mentioned; but, lastly, had actually + suppressed the evil for a time, and had plainly pointed out the means of + suppressing it for ever. This I would myself have undertaken, had my + health permitted, at the annual expense of the above-mentioned sum. + </p> + <p> + After having stood the terrible six weeks which succeeded last Christmas, + and put a lucky end, if they had known their own interests, to such + numbers of aged and infirm valetudinarians, who might have gasped through + two or three mild winters more, I returned to town in February, in a + condition less despaired of by myself than by any of my friends. I now + became the patient of Dr. Ward, who wished I had taken his advice earlier. + By his advice I was tapped, and fourteen quarts of water drawn from my + belly. The sudden relaxation which this caused, added to my enervate, + emaciated habit of body, so weakened me that within two days I was thought + to be falling into the agonies of death. I was at the worst on that + memorable day when the public lost Mr. Pelham. From that day I began + slowly, as it were, to draw my feet out of the grave; till in two months' + time I had again acquired some little degree of strength, but was again + full of water. During this whole time I took Mr. Ward's medicines, which + had seldom any perceptible operation. Those in particular of the + diaphoretic kind, the working of which is thought to require a great + strength of constitution to support, had so little effect on me, that Mr. + Ward declared it was as vain to attempt sweating me as a deal board. In + this situation I was tapped a second time. I had one quart of water less + taken from me now than before; but I bore all the consequences of the + operation much better. This I attributed greatly to a dose of laudanum + prescribed by my surgeon. It first gave me the most delicious flow of + spirits, and afterwards as comfortable a nap. + </p> + <p> + The month of May, which was now begun, it seemed reasonable to expect + would introduce the spring, and drive of that winter which yet maintained + its footing on the stage. I resolved therefore to visit a little house of + mine in the country, which stands at Ealing, in the county of Middlesex, + in the best air, I believe, in the whole kingdom, and far superior to that + of Kensington Gravel-pits; for the gravel is here much wider and deeper, + the place higher and more open towards the south, whilst it is guarded + from the north wind by a ridge of hills, and from the smells and smoke of + London by its distance; which last is not the fate of Kensington, when the + wind blows from any corner of the east. + </p> + <p> + Obligations to Mr. Ward I shall always confess; for I am convinced that he + omitted no care in endeavoring to serve me, without any expectation or + desire of fee or reward. + </p> + <p> + The powers of Mr. Ward's remedies want indeed no unfair puffs of mine to + give them credit; and though this distemper of the dropsy stands, I + believe, first in the list of those over which he is always certain of + triumphing, yet, possibly, there might be something particular in my case + capable of eluding that radical force which had healed so many thousands. + The same distemper, in different constitutions, may possibly be attended + with such different symptoms, that to find an infallible nostrum for the + curing any one distemper in every patient may be almost as difficult as to + find a panacea for the cure of all. + </p> + <p> + But even such a panacea one of the greatest scholars and best of men did + lately apprehend he had discovered. It is true, indeed, he was no + physician; that is, he had not by the forms of his education acquired a + right of applying his skill in the art of physic to his own private + advantage; and yet, perhaps, it may be truly asserted that no other modern + hath contributed so much to make his physical skill useful to the public; + at least, that none hath undergone the pains of communicating this + discovery in writing to the world. The reader, I think, will scarce need + to be informed that the writer I mean is the late bishop of Cloyne, in + Ireland, and the discovery that of the virtues of tar-water. + </p> + <p> + I then happened to recollect, upon a hint given me by the inimitable and + shamefully-distressed author of the Female Quixote, that I had many years + before, from curiosity only, taken a cursory view of bishop Berkeley's + treatise on the virtues of tar-water, which I had formerly observed he + strongly contends to be that real panacea which Sydenham supposes to have + an existence in nature, though it yet remains undiscovered, and perhaps + will always remain so. + </p> + <p> + Upon the reperusal of this book I found the bishop only asserting his + opinion that tar-water might be useful in the dropsy, since he had known + it to have a surprising success in the cure of a most stubborn anasarca, + which is indeed no other than, as the word implies, the dropsy of the + flesh; and this was, at that time, a large part of my complaint. + </p> + <p> + After a short trial, therefore, of a milk diet, which I presently found + did not suit with my case, I betook myself to the bishop's prescription, + and dosed myself every morning and evening with half a pint of tar-water. + </p> + <p> + It was no more than three weeks since my last tapping, and my belly and + limbs were distended with water. This did not give me the worse opinion of + tar-water; for I never supposed there could be any such virtue in + tar-water as immediately to carry off a quantity of water already + collected. For my delivery from this I well knew I must be again obliged + to the trochar; and that if the tar-water did me any good at all it must + be only by the slowest degrees; and that if it should ever get the better + of my distemper it must be by the tedious operation of undermining, and + not by a sudden attack and storm. + </p> + <p> + Some visible effects, however, and far beyond what my most sanguine hopes + could with any modesty expect, I very soon experienced; the tar-water + having, from the very first, lessened my illness, increased my appetite, + and added, though in a very slow proportion, to my bodily strength. But if + my strength had increased a little my water daily increased much more. So + that, by the end of May, my belly became again ripe for the trochar, and I + was a third time tapped; upon which, two very favorable symptoms appeared. + I had three quarts of water taken from me less than had been taken the + last time; and I bore the relaxation with much less (indeed with scarce + any) faintness. + </p> + <p> + Those of my physical friends on whose judgment I chiefly depended seemed + to think my only chance of life consisted in having the whole summer + before me; in which I might hope to gather sufficient strength to + encounter the inclemencies of the ensuing winter. But this chance began + daily to lessen. I saw the summer mouldering away, or rather, indeed, the + year passing away without intending to bring on any summer at all. In the + whole month of May the sun scarce appeared three times. So that the early + fruits came to the fullness of their growth, and to some appearance of + ripeness, without acquiring any real maturity; having wanted the heat of + the sun to soften and meliorate their juices. I saw the dropsy gaining + rather than losing ground; the distance growing still shorter between the + tappings. I saw the asthma likewise beginning again to become more + troublesome. I saw the midsummer quarter drawing towards a close. So that + I conceived, if the Michaelmas quarter should steal off in the same + manner, as it was, in my opinion, very much to be apprehended it would, I + should be delivered up to the attacks of winter before I recruited my + forces, so as to be anywise able to withstand them. + </p> + <p> + I now began to recall an intention, which from the first dawnings of my + recovery I had conceived, of removing to a warmer climate; and, finding + this to be approved of by a very eminent physician, I resolved to put it + into immediate execution. Aix in Provence was the place first thought on; + but the difficulties of getting thither were insuperable. The Journey by + land, beside the expense of it, was infinitely too long and fatiguing; and + I could hear of no ship that was likely to set out from London, within any + reasonable time, for Marseilles, or any other port in that part of the + Mediterranean. + </p> + <p> + Lisbon was presently fixed on in its room. The air here, as it was near + four degrees to the south of Aix, must be more mild and warm, and the + winter shorter and less piercing. + </p> + <p> + It was not difficult to find a ship bound to a place with which we carry + on so immense a trade. Accordingly, my brother soon informed me of the + excellent accommodations for passengers which were to be found on board a + ship that was obliged to sail for Lisbon in three days. I eagerly embraced + the offer, notwithstanding the shortness of the time; and, having given my + brother full power to contract for our passage, I began to prepare my + family for the voyage with the utmost expedition. + </p> + <p> + But our great haste was needless; for the captain having twice put off his + sailing, I at length invited him to dinner with me at Fordhook, a full + week after the time on which he had declared, and that with many + asseverations, he must and would weigh anchor. + </p> + <p> + He dined with me according to his appointment; and when all matters were + settled between us, left me with positive orders to be on board the + Wednesday following, when he declared he would fall down the river to + Gravesend, and would not stay a moment for the greatest man in the world. + He advised me to go to Gravesend by land, and there wait the arrival of + his ship, assigning many reasons for this, every one of which was, as I + well remember, among those that had before determined me to go on board + near the Tower. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE VOYAGE + </h2> + <p> + WEDNESDAY, June 26, 1754.—On this day the most melancholy sun I had + ever beheld arose, and found me awake at my house at Fordhook. By the + light of this sun I was, in my own opinion, last to behold and take leave + of some of those creatures on whom I doted with a mother-like fondness, + guided by nature and passion, and uncured and unhardened by all the + doctrine of that philosophical school where I had learned to bear pains + and to despise death. In this situation, as I could not conquer Nature, I + submitted entirely to her, and she made as great a fool of me as she had + ever done of any woman whatsoever; under pretense of giving me leave to + enjoy, she drew me in to suffer, the company of my little ones during + eight hours; and I doubt not whether, in that time, I did not undergo more + than in all my distemper. + </p> + <p> + At twelve precisely my coach was at the door, which was no sooner told me + than I kissed my children round, and went into it with some little + resolution. My wife, who behaved more like a heroine and philosopher, + though at the same time the tenderest mother in the world, and my eldest + daughter, followed me; some friends went with us, and others here took + their leave; and I heard my behavior applauded, with many murmurs and + praises to which I well knew I had no title; as all other such + philosophers may, if they have any modesty, confess on the like occasions. + </p> + <p> + In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe, and immediately went on board, and + were to have sailed the next morning; but, as this was the king's + proclamation-day, and consequently a holiday at the custom-house, the + captain could not clear his vessel till the Thursday; for these holidays + are as strictly observed as those in the popish calendar, and are almost + as numerous. I might add that both are opposite to the genius of trade, + and consequently contra bonum publicum. + </p> + <p> + To go on board the ship it was necessary first to go into a boat; a matter + of no small difficulty, as I had no use of my limbs, and was to be carried + by men who, though sufficiently strong for their burden, were, like + Archimedes, puzzled to find a steady footing. Of this, as few of my + readers have not gone into wherries on the Thames, they will easily be + able to form to themselves an idea. However, by the assistance of my + friend, Mr. Welch, whom I never think or speak of but with love and + esteem, I conquered this difficulty, as I did afterwards that of ascending + the ship, into which I was hoisted with more ease by a chair lifted with + pulleys. I was soon seated in a great chair in the cabin, to refresh + myself after a fatigue which had been more intolerable, in a quarter of a + mile's passage from my coach to the ship, than I had before undergone in a + land-journey of twelve miles, which I had traveled with the utmost + expedition. + </p> + <p> + This latter fatigue was, perhaps, somewhat heightened by an indignation + which I could not prevent arising in my mind. I think, upon my entrance + into the boat, I presented a spectacle of the highest horror. The total + loss of limbs was apparent to all who saw me, and my face contained marks + of a most diseased state, if not of death itself. Indeed, so ghastly was + my countenance, that timorous women with child had abstained from my + house, for fear of the ill consequences of looking at me. In this + condition I ran the gauntlope (so I think I may justly call it) through + rows of sailors and watermen, few of whom failed of paying their + compliments to me by all manner of insults and jests on my misery. No man + who knew me will think I conceived any personal resentment at this + behavior; but it was a lively picture of that cruelty and inhumanity in + the nature of men which I have often contemplated with concern, and which + leads the mind into a train of very uncomfortable and melancholy thoughts. + It may be said that this barbarous custom is peculiar to the English, and + of them only to the lowest degree; that it is an excrescence of an + uncontrolled licentiousness mistaken for liberty, and never shows itself + in men who are polished and refined in such manner as human nature + requires to produce that perfection of which it is susceptible, and to + purge away that malevolence of disposition of which, at our birth, we + partake in common with the savage creation. This may be said, and this is + all that can be said; and it is, I am afraid, but little satisfactory to + account for the inhumanity of those who, while they boast of being made + after God's own image, seem to bear in their minds a resemblance of the + vilest species of brutes; or rather, indeed, of our idea of devils; for I + don't know that any brutes can be taxed with such malevolence. A sirloin + of beef was now placed on the table, for which, though little better than + carrion, as much was charged by the master of the little paltry ale-house + who dressed it as would have been demanded for all the elegance of the + King's Arms, or any other polite tavern or eating-house! for, indeed, the + difference between the best house and the worst is, that at the former you + pay largely for luxury, at the latter for nothing. + </p> + <p> + Thursday, June 27.—This morning the captain, who lay on shore at his + own house, paid us a visit in the cabin, and behaved like an angry bashaw, + declaring that, had he known we were not to be pleased, he would not have + carried us for five hundred pounds. He added many asseverations that he + was a gentleman, and despised money; not forgetting several hints of the + presents which had been made him for his cabin, of twenty, thirty, and + forty guineas, by several gentlemen, over and above the sum for which they + had contracted. This behavior greatly surprised me, as I knew not how to + account for it, nothing having happened since we parted from the captain + the evening before in perfect good humor; and all this broke forth on the + first moment of his arrival this morning. He did not, however, suffer my + amazement to have any long continuance before he clearly showed me that + all this was meant only as an apology to introduce another procrastination + (being the fifth) of his weighing anchor, which was now postponed till + Saturday, for such was his will and pleasure. + </p> + <p> + Besides the disagreeable situation in which we then lay, in the confines + of Wapping and Rotherhithe, tasting a delicious mixture of the air of both + these sweet places, and enjoying the concord of sweet sounds of seamen, + watermen, fish-women, oyster-women, and of all the vociferous inhabitants + of both shores, composing altogether a greater variety of harmony than + Hogarth's imagination hath brought together in that print of his, which is + enough to make a man deaf to look at—I had a more urgent cause to + press our departure, which was, that the dropsy, for which I had undergone + three tappings, seemed to threaten me with a fourth discharge before I + should reach Lisbon, and when I should have nobody on board capable of + performing the operation; but I was obliged to hearken to the voice of + reason, if I may use the captain's own words, and to rest myself + contented. Indeed, there was no alternative within my reach but what would + have cost me much too dear. There are many evils in society from which + people of the highest rank are so entirely exempt, that they have not the + least knowledge or idea of them; nor indeed of the characters which are + formed by them. Such, for instance, is the conveyance of goods and + passengers from one place to another. Now there is no such thing as any + kind of knowledge contemptible in itself; and, as the particular knowledge + I here mean is entirely necessary to the well understanding and well + enjoying this journal; and, lastly, as in this case the most ignorant will + be those very readers whose amusement we chiefly consult, and to whom we + wish to be supposed principally to write, we will here enter somewhat + largely into the discussion of this matter; the rather, for that no + ancient or modern author (if we can trust the catalogue of doctor Mead's + library) hath ever undertaken it, but that it seems (in the style of Don + Quixote) a task reserved for my pen alone. + </p> + <p> + When I first conceived this intention I began to entertain thoughts of + inquiring into the antiquity of traveling; and, as many persons have + performed in this way (I mean have traveled) at the expense of the public, + I flattered myself that the spirit of improving arts and sciences, and of + advancing useful and substantial learning, which so eminently + distinguishes this age, and hath given rise to more speculative societies + in Europe than I at present can recollect the names of—perhaps, + indeed, than I or any other, besides their very near neighbors, ever heard + mentioned—would assist in promoting so curious a work; a work begun + with the same views, calculated for the same purposes, and fitted for the + same uses, with the labors which those right honorable societies have so + cheerfully undertaken themselves, and encouraged in others; sometimes with + the highest honors, even with admission into their colleges, and with + enrollment among their members. + </p> + <p> + From these societies I promised myself all assistance in their power, + particularly the communication of such valuable manuscripts and records as + they must be supposed to have collected from those obscure ages of + antiquity when history yields us such imperfect accounts of the residence, + and much more imperfect of the travels, of the human race; unless, + perhaps, as a curious and learned member of the young Society of + Antiquarians is said to have hinted his conjectures, that their residence + and their travels were one and the same; and this discovery (for such it + seems to be) he is said to have owed to the lighting by accident on a + book, which we shall have occasion to mention presently, the contents of + which were then little known to the society. + </p> + <p> + The king of Prussia, moreover, who, from a degree of benevolence and taste + which in either case is a rare production in so northern a climate, is the + great encourager of art and science, I was well assured would promote so + useful a design, and order his archives to be searched on my behalf. But + after well weighing all these advantages, and much meditation on the order + of my work, my whole design was subverted in a moment by hearing of the + discovery just mentioned to have been made by the young antiquarian, who, + from the most ancient record in the world (though I don't find the society + are all agreed on this point), one long preceding the date of the earliest + modern collections, either of books or butterflies, none of which pretend + to go beyond the flood, shows us that the first man was a traveler, and + that he and his family were scarce settled in Paradise before they + disliked their own home, and became passengers to another place. Hence it + appears that the humor of traveling is as old as the human race, and that + it was their curse from the beginning. By this discovery my plan became + much shortened, and I found it only necessary to treat of the conveyance + of goods and passengers from place to place; which, not being universally + known, seemed proper to be explained before we examined into its original. + There are indeed two different ways of tracing all things used by the + historian and the antiquary; these are upwards and downwards. + </p> + <p> + The former shows you how things are, and leaves to others to discover when + they began to be so. The latter shows you how things were, and leaves + their present existence to be examined by others. Hence the former is more + useful, the latter more curious. The former receives the thanks of + mankind; the latter of that valuable part, the virtuosi. + </p> + <p> + In explaining, therefore, this mystery of carrying goods and passengers + from one place to another, hitherto so profound a secret to the very best + of our readers, we shall pursue the historical method, and endeavor to + show by what means it is at present performed, referring the more curious + inquiry either to some other pen or to some other opportunity. + </p> + <p> + Now there are two general ways of performing (if God permit) this + conveyance, viz., by land and water, both of which have much variety; that + by land being performed in different vehicles, such as coaches, caravans, + wagons, etc.; and that by water in ships, barges, and boats, of various + sizes and denominations. But, as all these methods of conveyance are + formed on the same principles, they agree so well together, that it is + fully sufficient to comprehend them all in the general view, without + descending to such minute particulars as would distinguish one method from + another. + </p> + <p> + Common to all of these is one general principle that, as the goods to be + conveyed are usually the larger, so they are to be chiefly considered in + the conveyance; the owner being indeed little more than an appendage to + his trunk, or box, or bale, or at best a small part of his own baggage, + very little care is to be taken in stowing or packing them up with + convenience to himself; for the conveyance is not of passengers and goods, + but of goods and passengers. + </p> + <p> + Secondly, from this conveyance arises a new kind of relation, or rather of + subjection, in the society, by which the passenger becomes bound in + allegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is indeed only temporary and + local, but the most absolute during its continuance of any known in Great + Britain, and, to say truth, scarce consistent with the liberties of a free + people, nor could it be reconciled with them, did it not move downwards; a + circumstance universally apprehended to be incompatible to all kinds of + slavery; for Aristotle in his Politics hath proved abundantly to my + satisfaction that no men are born to be slaves, except barbarians; and + these only to such as are not themselves barbarians; and indeed Mr. + Montesquieu hath carried it very little farther in the case of the + Africans; the real truth being that no man is born to be a slave, unless + to him who is able to make him so. + </p> + <p> + Thirdly, this subjection is absolute, and consists of a perfect + resignation both of body and soul to the disposal of another; after which + resignation, during a certain time, his subject retains no more power over + his own will than an Asiatic slave, or an English wife, by the laws of + both countries, and by the customs of one of them. If I should mention the + instance of a stage-coachman, many of my readers would recognize the truth + of what I have here observed; all, indeed, that ever have been under the + dominion of that tyrant, who in this free country is as absolute as a + Turkish bashaw. In two particulars only his power is defective; he cannot + press you into his service, and if you enter yourself at one place, on + condition of being discharged at a certain time at another, he is obliged + to perform his agreement, if God permit, but all the intermediate time you + are absolutely under his government; he carries you how he will, when he + will, and whither he will, provided it be not much out of the road; you + have nothing to eat or to drink, but what, and when, and where he pleases. + Nay, you cannot sleep unless he pleases you should; for he will order you + sometimes out of bed at midnight and hurry you away at a moment's warning: + indeed, if you can sleep in his vehicle he cannot prevent it; nay, indeed, + to give him his due, this he is ordinarily disposed to encourage: for the + earlier he forces you to rise in the morning, the more time he will give + you in the heat of the day, sometimes even six hours at an ale-house, or + at their doors, where he always gives you the same indulgence which he + allows himself; and for this he is generally very moderate in his demands. + I have known a whole bundle of passengers charged no more than + half-a-crown for being suffered to remain quiet at an ale-house door for + above a whole hour, and that even in the hottest day in summer. But as + this kind of tyranny, though it hath escaped our political writers, hath + been I think touched by our dramatic, and is more trite among the + generality of readers; and as this and all other kinds of such subjection + are alike unknown to my friends, I will quit the passengers by land, and + treat of those who travel by water; for whatever is said on this subject + is applicable to both alike, and we may bring them together as closely as + they are brought in the liturgy, when they are recommended to the prayers + of all Christian congregations; and (which I have often thought very + remarkable) where they are joined with other miserable wretches, such as + women in labor, people in sickness, infants just born, prisoners and + captives. Goods and passengers are conveyed by water in divers vehicles, + the principal of which being a ship, it shall suffice to mention that + alone. Here the tyrant doth not derive his title, as the stage-coachman + doth, from the vehicle itself in which he stows his goods and passengers, + but he is called the captain—a word of such various use and + uncertain signification, that it seems very difficult to fix any positive + idea to it: if, indeed, there be any general meaning which may comprehend + all its different uses, that of the head or chief of any body of men seems + to be most capable of this comprehension; for whether they be a company of + soldiers, a crew of sailors, or a gang of rogues, he who is at the head of + them is always styled the captain. + </p> + <p> + The particular tyrant whose fortune it was to stow us aboard laid a + farther claim to this appellation than the bare command of a vehicle of + conveyance. He had been the captain of a privateer, which he chose to call + being in the king's service, and thence derived a right of hoisting the + military ornament of a cockade over the button of his hat. He likewise + wore a sword of no ordinary length by his side, with which he swaggered in + his cabin, among the wretches his passengers, whom he had stowed in + cupboards on each side. He was a person of a very singular character. He + had taken it into his head that he was a gentleman, from those very + reasons that proved he was not one; and to show himself a fine gentleman, + by a behavior which seemed to insinuate he had never seen one. He was, + moreover, a man of gallantry; at the age of seventy he had the finicalness + of Sir Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly; and, while he was deaf + himself, had a voice capable of deafening all others. + </p> + <p> + Now, as I saw myself in danger by the delays of the captain, who was, in + reality, waiting for more freight, and as the wind had been long nested, + as it were, in the southwest, where it constantly blew hurricanes, I began + with great reason to apprehend that our voyage might be long, and that my + belly, which began already to be much extended, would require the water to + be let out at a time when no assistance was at hand; though, indeed, the + captain comforted me with assurances that he had a pretty young fellow on + board who acted as his surgeon, as I found he likewise did as steward, + cook, butler, sailor. In short, he had as many offices as Scrub in the + play, and went through them all with great dexterity; this of surgeon was, + perhaps, the only one in which his skill was somewhat deficient, at least + that branch of tapping for the dropsy; for he very ingenuously and + modestly confessed he had never seen the operation performed, nor was + possessed of that chirurgical instrument with which it is performed. + </p> + <p> + Friday, June 28.—By way of prevention, therefore, I this day sent + for my friend, Mr. Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomist of + Covent-garden; and, though my belly was not yet very full and tight, let + out ten quarts of water; the young sea-surgeon attended the operation, not + as a performer, but as a student. + </p> + <p> + I was now eased of the greatest apprehension which I had from the length + of the passage; and I told the captain I was become indifferent as to the + time of his sailing. He expressed much satisfaction in this declaration, + and at hearing from me that I found myself, since my tapping, much lighter + and better. In this, I believe, he was sincere; for he was, as we shall + have occasion to observe more than once, a very good-natured man; and, as + he was a very brave one too, I found that the heroic constancy with which + I had borne an operation that is attended with scarce any degree of pain + had not a little raised me in his esteem. That he might adhere, therefore, + in the most religious and rigorous manner to his word, when he had no + longer any temptation from interest to break it, as he had no longer any + hopes of more goods or passengers, he ordered his ship to fall down to + Gravesend on Sunday morning, and there to wait his arrival. + </p> + <p> + Sunday, June 30.—Nothing worth notice passed till that morning, when + my poor wife, after passing a night in the utmost torments of the + toothache, resolved to have it drawn. I despatched therefore a servant + into Wapping to bring in haste the best tooth-drawer he could find. He + soon found out a female of great eminence in the art; but when he brought + her to the boat, at the waterside, they were informed that the ship was + gone; for indeed she had set out a few minutes after his quitting her; nor + did the pilot, who well knew the errand on which I had sent my servant, + think fit to wait a moment for his return, or to give me any notice of his + setting out, though I had very patiently attended the delays of the + captain four days, after many solemn promises of weighing anchor every one + of the three last. But of all the petty bashaws or turbulent tyrants I + ever beheld, this sour-faced pilot was the worst tempered; for, during the + time that he had the guidance of the ship, which was till we arrived in + the Downs, he complied with no one's desires, nor did he give a civil + word, or indeed a civil look, to any on board. + </p> + <p> + The tooth-drawer, who, as I said before, was one of great eminence among + her neighbors, refused to follow the ship; so that my man made himself the + best of his way, and with some difficulty came up with us before we were + got under full sail; for after that, as we had both wind and tide with us, + he would have found it impossible to overtake the ship till she was come + to an anchor at Gravesend. + </p> + <p> + The morning was fair and bright, and we had a passage thither, I think, as + pleasant as can be conceived: for, take it with all its advantages, + particularly the number of fine ships you are always sure of seeing by the + way, there is nothing to equal it in all the rivers of the world. The + yards of Deptford and of Woolwich are noble sights, and give us a just + idea of the great perfection to which we are arrived in building those + floating castles, and the figure which we may always make in Europe among + the other maritime powers. That of Woolwich, at least, very strongly + imprinted this idea on my mind; for there was now on the stocks there the + Royal Anne, supposed to be the largest ship ever built, and which contains + ten carriage-guns more than had ever yet equipped a first-rate. + </p> + <p> + It is true, perhaps, that there is more of ostentation than of real + utility in ships of this vast and unwieldy burden, which are rarely + capable of acting against an enemy; but if the building such contributes + to preserve, among other nations, the notion of the British superiority in + naval affairs, the expense, though very great, is well incurred, and the + ostentation is laudable and truly political. Indeed, I should be sorry to + allow that Holland, France, or Spain, possessed a vessel larger and more + beautiful than the largest and most beautiful of ours; for this honor I + would always administer to the pride of our sailors, who should challenge + it from all their neighbors with truth and success. And sure I am that not + our honest tars alone, but every inhabitant of this island, may exult in + the comparison, when he considers the king of Great Britain as a maritime + prince, in opposition to any other prince in Europe; but I am not so + certain that the same idea of superiority will result from comparing our + land forces with those of many other crowned heads. In numbers they all + far exceed us, and in the goodness and splendor of their troops many + nations, particularly the Germans and French, and perhaps the Dutch, cast + us at a distance; for, however we may flatter ourselves with the Edwards + and Henrys of former ages, the change of the whole art of war since those + days, by which the advantage of personal strength is in a manner entirely + lost, hath produced a change in military affairs to the advantage of our + enemies. As for our successes in later days, if they were not entirely + owing to the superior genius of our general, they were not a little due to + the superior force of his money. Indeed, if we should arraign marshal Saxe + of ostentation when he showed his army, drawn up, to our captive general, + the day after the battle of La Val, we cannot say that the ostentation was + entirely vain; since he certainly showed him an army which had not been + often equaled, either in the number or goodness of the troops, and which, + in those respects, so far exceeded ours, that none can ever cast any + reflection on the brave young prince who could not reap the laurels of + conquest in that day; but his retreat will be always mentioned as an + addition to his glory. + </p> + <p> + In our marine the case is entirely the reverse, and it must be our own + fault if it doth not continue so; for continue so it will as long as the + flourishing state of our trade shall support it, and this support it can + never want till our legislature shall cease to give sufficient attention + to the protection of our trade, and our magistrates want sufficient power, + ability, and honesty, to execute the laws; a circumstance not to be + apprehended, as it cannot happen till our senates and our benches shall be + filled with the blindest ignorance, or with the blackest corruption. + </p> + <p> + Besides the ships in the docks, we saw many on the water: the yachts are + sights of great parade, and the king's body yacht is, I believe, unequaled + in any country for convenience as well as magnificence; both which are + consulted in building and equipping her with the most exquisite art and + workmanship. + </p> + <p> + We saw likewise several Indiamen just returned from their voyage. + </p> + <p> + These are, I believe, the largest and finest vessels which are anywhere + employed in commercial affairs. The colliers, likewise, which are very + numerous, and even assemble in fleets, are ships of great bulk; and if we + descend to those used in the American, African, and European trades, and + pass through those which visit our own coasts, to the small craft that lie + between Chatham and the Tower, the whole forms a most pleasing object to + the eye, as well as highly warming to the heart of an Englishman who has + any degree of love for his country, or can recognize any effect of the + patriot in his constitution. Lastly, the Royal Hospital at Greenwich, + which presents so delightful a front to the water, and doth such honor at + once to its builder and the nation, to the great skill and ingenuity of + the one, and to the no less sensible gratitude of the other, very properly + closes the account of this scene; which may well appear romantic to those + who have not themselves seen that, in this one instance, truth and reality + are capable, perhaps, of exceeding the power of fiction. When we had + passed by Greenwich we saw only two or three gentlemen's houses, all of + very moderate account, till we reached Gravesend: these are all on the + Kentish shore, which affords a much dryer, wholesomer, and pleasanter + situation, than doth that of its opposite, Essex. This circumstance, I + own, is somewhat surprising to me, when I reflect on the numerous villas + that crowd the river from Chelsea upwards as far as Shepperton, where the + narrower channel affords not half so noble a prospect, and where the + continual succession of the small craft, like the frequent repetition of + all things, which have nothing in them great, beautiful, or admirable, + tire the eye, and give us distaste and aversion, instead of pleasure. With + some of these situations, such as Barnes, Mortlake, etc., even the shore + of Essex might contend, not upon very unequal terms; but on the Kentish + borders there are many spots to be chosen by the builder which might + justly claim the preference over almost the very finest of those in + Middlesex and Surrey. + </p> + <p> + How shall we account for this depravity in taste? for surely there are + none so very mean and contemptible as to bring the pleasure of seeing a + number of little wherries, gliding along after one another, in competition + with what we enjoy in viewing a succession of ships, with all their sails + expanded to the winds, bounding over the waves before us. + </p> + <p> + And here I cannot pass by another observation on the deplorable want of + taste in our enjoyments, which we show by almost totally neglecting the + pursuit of what seems to me the highest degree of amusement; this is, the + sailing ourselves in little vessels of our own, contrived only for our + ease and accommodation, to which such situations of our villas as I have + recommended would be so convenient, and even necessary. + </p> + <p> + This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed in any perfection, would be of the + expensive kind; but such expense would not exceed the reach of a moderate + fortune, and would fall very short of the prices which are daily paid for + pleasures of a far inferior rate. + </p> + <p> + The truth, I believe, is, that sailing in the manner I have just mentioned + is a pleasure rather unknown, or unthought of, than rejected by those who + have experienced it; unless, perhaps, the apprehension of danger or + seasickness may be supposed, by the timorous and delicate, to make too + large deductions—insisting that all their enjoyments shall come to + them pure and unmixed, and being ever ready to cry out, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ——Nocet empta dolore voluptas. +</pre> + <p> + This, however, was my present case; for the ease and lightness which I + felt from my tapping, the gayety of the morning, the pleasant sailing with + wind and tide, and the many agreeable objects with which I was constantly + entertained during the whole way, were all suppressed and overcome by the + single consideration of my wife's pain, which continued incessantly to + torment her till we came to an anchor, when I dispatched a messenger in + great haste for the best reputed operator in Gravesend. A surgeon of some + eminence now appeared, who did not decline tooth-drawing, though he + certainly would have been offended with the appellation of tooth-drawer no + less than his brethren, the members of that venerable body, would be with + that of barber, since the late separation between those long-united + companies, by which, if the surgeons have gained much, the barbers are + supposed to have lost very little. This able and careful person (for so I + sincerely believe he is) after examining the guilty tooth, declared that + it was such a rotten shell, and so placed at the very remotest end of the + upper jaw, where it was in a manner covered and secured by a large fine + firm tooth, that he despaired of his power of drawing it. + </p> + <p> + He said, indeed, more to my wife, and used more rhetoric to dissuade her + from having it drawn, than is generally employed to persuade young ladies + to prefer a pain of three moments to one of three months' continuance, + especially if those young ladies happen to be past forty and fifty years + of age, when, by submitting to support a racking torment, the only good + circumstance attending which is, it is so short that scarce one in a + thousand can cry out "I feel it," they are to do a violence to their + charms, and lose one of those beautiful holders with which alone Sir + Courtly Nice declares a lady can ever lay hold of his heart. He said at + last so much, and seemed to reason so justly, that I came over to his + side, and assisted him in prevailing on my wife (for it was no easy + matter) to resolve on keeping her tooth a little longer, and to apply + palliatives only for relief. These were opium applied to the tooth, and + blisters behind the ears. + </p> + <p> + Whilst we were at dinner this day in the cabin, on a sudden the window on + one side was beat into the room with a crash as if a twenty-pounder had + been discharged among us. We were all alarmed at the suddenness of the + accident, for which, however, we were soon able to account, for the sash, + which was shivered all to pieces, was pursued into the middle of the cabin + by the bowsprit of a little ship called a cod-smack, the master of which + made us amends for running (carelessly at best) against us, and injuring + the ship, in the sea-way; that is to say, by damning us all to hell, and + uttering several pious wishes that it had done us much more mischief. All + which were answered in their own kind and phrase by our men, between whom + and the other crew a dialogue of oaths and scurrility was carried on as + long as they continued in each other's hearing. + </p> + <p> + It is difficult, I think, to assign a satisfactory reason why sailors in + general should, of all others, think themselves entirely discharged from + the common bands of humanity, and should seem to glory in the language and + behavior of savages! They see more of the world, and have, most of them, a + more erudite education than is the portion of landmen of their degree. Nor + do I believe that in any country they visit (Holland itself not excepted) + they can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on the river Thames. Is + it that they think true courage (for they are the bravest fellows upon + earth) inconsistent with all the gentleness of a humane carriage, and that + the contempt of civil order springs up in minds but little cultivated, at + the same time and from the same principles with the contempt of danger and + death? Is it—? in short, it is so; and how it comes to be so I leave + to form a question in the Robin Hood Society, or to be propounded for + solution among the enigmas in the Woman's Almanac for the next year. + </p> + <p> + Monday, July 1.—This day Mr. Welch took his leave of me after + dinner, as did a young lady of her sister, who was proceeding with my wife + to Lisbon. They both set out together in a post-chaise for London. Soon + after their departure our cabin, where my wife and I were sitting + together, was visited by two ruffians, whose appearance greatly + corresponded with that of the sheriffs, or rather the knight-marshal's + bailiffs. One of these especially, who seemed to affect a more than + ordinary degree of rudeness and insolence, came in without any kind of + ceremony, with a broad gold lace on his hat, which was cocked with much + military fierceness on his head. An inkhorn at his buttonhole and some + papers in his hand sufficiently assured me what he was, and I asked him if + he and his companion were not custom-house officers: he answered with + sufficient dignity that they were, as an information which he seemed to + conclude would strike the hearer with awe, and suppress all further + inquiry; but, on the contrary, I proceeded to ask of what rank he was in + the custom-house, and, receiving an answer from his companion, as I + remember, that the gentleman was a riding surveyor, I replied that he + might be a riding surveyor, but could be no gentleman, for that none who + had any title to that denomination would break into the presence of a lady + without an apology or even moving his hat. He then took his covering from + his head and laid it on the table, saying, he asked pardon, and blamed the + mate, who should, he said, have informed him if any persons of distinction + were below. I told him he might guess by our appearance (which, perhaps, + was rather more than could be said with the strictest adherence to truth) + that he was before a gentleman and lady, which should teach him to be very + civil in his behavior, though we should not happen to be of that number + whom the world calls people of fashion and distinction. However, I said, + that as he seemed sensible of his error, and had asked pardon, the lady + would permit him to put his hat on again if he chose it. This he refused + with some degree of surliness, and failed not to convince me that, if I + should condescend to become more gentle, he would soon grow more rude. I + now renewed a reflection, which I have often seen occasion to make, that + there is nothing so incongruous in nature as any kind of power with + lowness of mind and of ability, and that there is nothing more deplorable + than the want of truth in the whimsical notion of Plato, who tells us that + "Saturn, well knowing the state of human affairs, gave us kings and + rulers, not of human but divine original; for, as we make not shepherds of + sheep, nor oxherds of oxen, nor goatherds of goats, but place some of our + own kind over all as being better and fitter to govern them; in the same + manner were demons by the divine love set over us as a race of beings of a + superior order to men, and who, with great ease to themselves, might + regulate our affairs and establish peace, modesty, freedom, and justice, + and, totally destroying all sedition, might complete the happiness of the + human race. So far, at least, may even now be said with truth, that in all + states which are under the government of mere man, without any divine + assistance, there is nothing but labor and misery to be found. From what I + have said, therefore, we may at least learn, with our utmost endeavors, to + imitate the Saturnian institution; borrowing all assistance from our + immortal part, while we pay to this the strictest obedience, we should + form both our private economy and public policy from its dictates. By this + dispensation of our immortal minds we are to establish a law and to call + it by that name. But if any government be in the hands of a single person, + of the few, or of the many, and such governor or governors shall abandon + himself or themselves to the unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or + desires, unable to restrain any passion, but possessed with an insatiable + bad disease; if such shall attempt to govern, and at the same time to + trample on all laws, there can be no means of preservation left for the + wretched people." Plato de Leg., lib. iv. p. 713, c. 714, edit. Serrani. + </p> + <p> + It is true that Plato is here treating of the highest or sovereign power + in a state, but it is as true that his observations are general and may be + applied to all inferior powers; and, indeed, every subordinate degree is + immediately derived from the highest; and, as it is equally protected by + the same force and sanctified by the same authority, is alike dangerous to + the well-being of the subject. Of all powers, perhaps, there is none so + sanctified and protected as this which is under our present consideration. + So numerous, indeed, and strong, are the sanctions given to it by many + acts of parliament, that, having once established the laws of customs on + merchandise, it seems to have been the sole view of the legislature to + strengthen the hands and to protect the persons of the officers who became + established by those laws, many of whom are so far from bearing any + resemblance to the Saturnian institution, and to be chosen from a degree + of beings superior to the rest of human race, that they sometimes seem + industriously picked out of the lowest and vilest orders of mankind. There + is, indeed, nothing, so useful to man in general, nor so beneficial to + particular societies and individuals, as trade. This is that alma mater at + whose plentiful breast all mankind are nourished. It is true, like other + parents, she is not always equally indulgent to all her children, but, + though she gives to her favorites a vast proportion of redundancy and + superfluity, there are very few whom she refuses to supply with the + conveniences, and none with the necessaries, of life. + </p> + <p> + Such a benefactress as this must naturally be beloved by mankind in + general; it would be wonderful, therefore, if her interest was not + considered by them, and protected from the fraud and violence of some of + her rebellious offspring, who, coveting more than their share or more than + she thinks proper to allow them, are daily employed in meditating mischief + against her, and in endeavoring to steal from their brethren those shares + which this great alma mater had allowed them. + </p> + <p> + At length our governor came on board, and about six in the evening we + weighed anchor, and fell down to the Nore, whither our passage was + extremely pleasant, the evening being very delightful, the moon just past + the full, and both wind and tide favorable to us. + </p> + <p> + Tuesday, July 2.—This morning we again set sail, under all the + advantages we had enjoyed the evening before. This day we left the shore + of Essex and coasted along Kent, passing by the pleasant island of Thanet, + which is an island, and that of Sheppy, which is not an island, and about + three o 'clock, the wind being now full in our teeth, we came to an anchor + in the Downs, within two miles of Deal.—My wife, having suffered + intolerable pain from her tooth, again renewed her resolution of having it + drawn, and another surgeon was sent for from Deal, but with no better + success than the former. He likewise declined the operation, for the same + reason which had been assigned by the former: however, such was her + resolution, backed with pain, that he was obliged to make the attempt, + which concluded more in honor of his judgment than of his operation; for, + after having put my poor wife to inexpressible torment, he was obliged to + leave her tooth in statu quo; and she had now the comfortable prospect of + a long fit of pain, which might have lasted her whole voyage, without any + possibility of relief. In these pleasing sensations, of which I had my + just share, nature, overcome with fatigue, about eight in the evening + resigned her to rest—a circumstance which would have given me some + happiness, could I have known how to employ those spirits which were + raised by it; but, unfortunately for me, I was left in a disposition of + enjoying an agreeable hour without the assistance of a companion, which + has always appeared to me necessary to such enjoyment; my daughter and her + companion were both retired sea-sick to bed; the other passengers were a + rude school-boy of fourteen years old and an illiterate Portuguese friar, + who understood no language but his own, in which I had not the least + smattering. The captain was the only person left in whose conversation I + might indulge myself; but unluckily, besides a total ignorance of + everything in the world but a ship, he had the misfortune of being so + deaf, that to make him hear, I will not say understand, my words, I must + run the risk of conveying them to the ears of my wife, who, though in + another room (called, I think, the state-room—being, indeed, a most + stately apartment, capable of containing one human body in length, if not + very tall, and three bodies in breadth), lay asleep within a yard of me. + In this situation necessity and choice were one and the same thing; the + captain and I sat down together to a small bowl of punch, over which we + both soon fell fast asleep, and so concluded the evening. + </p> + <p> + Wednesday, July 3.—This morning I awaked at four o'clock for my + distemper seldom suffered me to sleep later. I presently got up, and had + the pleasure of enjoying the sight of a tempestuous sea for four hours + before the captain was stirring; for he loved to indulge himself in + morning slumbers, which were attended with a wind-music, much more + agreeable to the performers than to the hearers, especially such as have, + as I had, the privilege of sitting in the orchestra. At eight o 'clock the + captain rose, and sent his boat on shore. I ordered my man likewise to go + in it, as my distemper was not of that kind which entirely deprives us of + appetite. Now, though the captain had well victualled his ship with all + manner of salt provisions for the voyage, and had added great quantities + of fresh stores, particularly of vegetables, at Gravesend, such as beans + and peas, which had been on board only two days, and had possibly not been + gathered above two more, I apprehended I could provide better for myself + at Deal than the ship's ordinary seemed to promise. I accordingly sent for + fresh provisions of all kinds from the shore, in order to put off the evil + day of starving as long as possible. My man returned with most of the + articles I sent for, and I now thought myself in a condition of living a + week on my own provisions. I therefore ordered my own dinner, which I + wanted nothing but a cook to dress and a proper fire to dress it at; but + those were not to be had, nor indeed any addition to my roast mutton, + except the pleasure of the captain's company, with that of the other + passengers; for my wife continued the whole day in a state of dozing, and + my other females, whose sickness did not abate by the rolling of the ship + at anchor, seemed more inclined to empty their stomachs than to fill them. + Thus I passed the whole day (except about an hour at dinner) by myself, + and the evening concluded with the captain as the preceding one had done; + one comfortable piece of news he communicated to me, which was, that he + had no doubt of a prosperous wind in the morning; but as he did not + divulge the reasons of this confidence, and as I saw none myself besides + the wind being directly opposite, my faith in this prophecy was not strong + enough to build any great hopes upon. + </p> + <p> + Thursday, July 4.—This morning, however, the captain seemed resolved + to fulfill his own predictions, whether the wind would or no; he + accordingly weighed anchor, and, taking the advantage of the tide when the + wind was not very boisterous, he hoisted his sails; and, as if his power + had been no less absolute over Aeolus than it was over Neptune, he forced + the wind to blow him on in its own despite. + </p> + <p> + But as all men who have ever been at sea well know how weak such attempts + are, and want no authorities of Scripture to prove that the most absolute + power of a captain of a ship is very contemptible in the wind's eye, so + did it befall our noble commander, who, having struggled with the wind + three or four hours, was obliged to give over, and lost in a few minutes + all that he had been so long a-gaining; in short, we returned to our + former station, and once more cast anchor in the neighborhood of Deal. + </p> + <p> + Here, though we lay near the shore, that we might promise ourselves all + the emolument which could be derived from it, we found ourselves deceived; + and that we might with as much conveniency be out of the sight of land; + for, except when the captain launched forth his own boat, which he did + always with great reluctance, we were incapable of procuring anything from + Deal, but at a price too exorbitant, and beyond the reach even of modern + luxury—the fare of a boat from Deal, which lay at two miles' + distance, being at least three half-crowns, and, if we had been in any + distress for it, as many half-guineas; for these good people consider the + sea as a large common appendant to their manor; in which when they find + any of their fellow-creatures impounded, they conclude that they have a + full right of making them pay at their own discretion for their + deliverance: to say the truth, whether it be that men who live on the + sea-shore are of an amphibious kind, and do not entirely partake of human + nature, or whatever else may be the reason, they are so far from taking + any share in the distresses of mankind, or of being moved with any + compassion for them, that they look upon them as blessings showered down + from above, and which the more they improve to their own use, the greater + is their gratitude and piety. Thus at Gravesend a sculler requires a + shilling for going less way than he would row in London for threepence; + and at Deal a boat often brings more profit in a day than it can produce + in London in a week, or perhaps in a month; in both places the owner of + the boat founds his demand on the necessity and distress of one who stands + more or less in absolute want of his assistance, and with the urgency of + these always rises in the exorbitancy of his demand, without ever + considering that, from these very circumstances, the power or ease of + gratifying such demand is in like proportion lessened. Now, as I am + unwilling that some conclusions, which may be, I am aware, too justly + drawn from these observations, should be imputed to human nature in + general, I have endeavored to account for them in a way more consistent + with the goodness and dignity of that nature. However it be, it seems a + little to reflect on the governors of such monsters that they do not take + some means to restrain these impositions, and prevent them from triumphing + any longer in the miseries of those who are, in many circumstances at + least, their fellow-creatures, and considering the distresses of a + wretched seaman, from his being wrecked to his being barely windbound, as + a blessing sent among them from above, and calling it by that blasphemous + name. + </p> + <p> + Friday, July 5.—This day I sent a servant on board a man-of-war that + was stationed here, with my compliments to the captain, to represent to + him the distress of the ladies, and to desire the favor of his long-boat + to conduct us to Dover, at about seven miles' distance; and at the same + time presumed to make use of a great lady's name, the wife of the first + lord commissioner of the admiralty, who would, I told him, be pleased with + any kindness shown by him towards us in our miserable condition. And this + I am convinced was true, from the humanity of the lady, though she was + entirely unknown to me. + </p> + <p> + The captain returned a verbal answer to a long letter acquainting me that + what I desired could not be complied with, it being a favor not in his + power to grant. This might be, and I suppose was, true; but it is as true + that, if he was able to write, and had pen, ink, and paper on board, he + might have sent a written answer, and that it was the part of a gentleman + so to have done; but this is a character seldom maintained on the watery + element, especially by those who exercise any power on it. Every commander + of a vessel here seems to think himself entirely free from all those rules + of decency and civility which direct and restrain the conduct of the + members of a society on shore; and each, claiming absolute dominion in his + little wooden world, rules by his own laws and his own discretion. I do + not, indeed, know so pregnant an instance of the dangerous consequences of + absolute power, and its aptness to intoxicate the mind, as that of those + petty tyrants, who become such in a moment, from very well-disposed and + social members of that communion in which they affect no superiority, but + live in an orderly state of legal subjection with their fellow-citizens. + </p> + <p> + Saturday, July 6.—This morning our commander, declaring he was sure + the wind would change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide, and weighed + his anchor. His assurance, however, had the same completion, and his + endeavors the same success, with his formal trial; and he was soon obliged + to return once more to his old quarters. Just before we let go our anchor, + a small sloop, rather than submit to yield us an inch of way, ran foul of + our ship, and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinate frolic would have + cost those aboard the sloop very dear, if our steersman had not been too + generous to exert his superiority, the certain consequence of which would + have been the immediate sinking of the other. This contention of the + inferior with a might capable of crushing it in an instant may seem to + argue no small share of folly or madness, as well as of impudence; but I + am convinced there is very little danger in it: contempt is a port to + which the pride of man submits to fly with reluctance, but those who are + within it are always in a place of the most assured security; for + whosoever throws away his sword prefers, indeed, a less honorable but much + safer means of avoiding danger than he who defends himself with it. And + here we shall offer another distinction, of the truth of which much + reading and experience have well convinced us, that as in the most + absolute governments there is a regular progression of slavery downwards, + from the top to the bottom, the mischief of which is seldom felt with any + great force and bitterness but by the next immediate degree; so in the + most dissolute and anarchical states there is as regular an ascent of what + is called rank or condition, which is always laying hold of the head of + him who is advanced but one step higher on the ladder, who might, if he + did not too much despise such efforts, kick his pursuer headlong to the + bottom. We will conclude this digression with one general and short + observation, which will, perhaps, set the whole matter in a clearer light + than the longest and most labored harangue. Whereas envy of all things + most exposes us to danger from others, so contempt of all things best + secures us from them. And thus, while the dung-cart and the sloop are + always meditating mischief against the coach and the ship, and throwing + themselves designedly in their way, the latter consider only their own + security, and are not ashamed to break the road and let the other pass by + them. + </p> + <p> + Monday, July 8.—Having passed our Sunday without anything + remarkable, unless the catching a great number of whitings in the + afternoon may be thought so, we now set sail on Monday at six o'clock, + with a little variation of wind; but this was so very little, and the + breeze itself so small, but the tide was our best and indeed almost our + only friend. This conducted us along the short remainder of the Kentish + shore. Here we passed that cliff of Dover which makes so tremendous a + figure in Shakespeare, and which whoever reads without being giddy, must, + according to Mr. Addison's observation, have either a very good head or a + very bad, one; but which, whoever contracts any such ideas from the sight + of, must have at least a poetic if not a Shakesperian genius. In truth, + mountains, rivers, heroes, and gods owe great part of their existence to + the poets; and Greece and Italy do so plentifully abound in the former, + because they furnish so glorious a number of the latter; who, while they + bestowed immortality on every little hillock and blind stream, left the + noblest rivers and mountains in the world to share the same obscurity with + the eastern and western poets, in which they are celebrated. This evening + we beat the sea of Sussex in sight of Dungeness, with much more pleasure + than progress; for the weather was almost a perfect calm, and the moon, + which was almost at the full, scarce suffered a single cloud to veil her + from our sight. + </p> + <p> + Tuesday, Wednesday, July 9, 10.—These two days we had much the same + fine weather, and made much the same way; but in the evening of the latter + day a pretty fresh gale sprung up at N.N.W., which brought us by the + morning in sight of the Isle of Wight. + </p> + <p> + Thursday, July 11.—This gale continued till towards noon; when the + east end of the island bore but little ahead of us. The captain swaggered + and declared he would keep the sea; but the wind got the better of him, so + that about three he gave up the victory, and making a sudden tack stood in + for the shore, passed by Spithead and Portsmouth, and came to an anchor at + a place called Ryde on the island. + </p> + <p> + A most tragical incident fell out this day at sea. While the ship was + under sail, but making as will appear no great way, a kitten, one of four + of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, fell from the window into the + water: an alarm was immediately given to the captain, who was then upon + deck, and received it with the utmost concern and many bitter oaths. He + immediately gave orders to the steersman in favor of the poor thing, as he + called it; the sails were instantly slackened, and all hands, as the + phrase is, employed to recover the poor animal. I was, I own, extremely + surprised at all this; less indeed at the captain's extreme tenderness + than at his conceiving any possibility of success; for if puss had had + nine thousand instead of nine lives, I concluded they had been all lost. + The boatswain, however, had more sanguine hopes, for, having stripped + himself of his jacket, breeches, and shirt, he leaped boldly into the + water, and to my great astonishment in a few minutes returned to the ship, + bearing the motionless animal in his mouth. Nor was this, I observed, a + matter of such great difficulty as it appeared to my ignorance, and + possibly may seem to that of my fresh-water reader. The kitten was now + exposed to air and sun on the deck, where its life, of which it retained + no symptoms, was despaired of by all. + </p> + <p> + The captain's humanity, if I may so call it, did not so totally destroy + his philosophy as to make him yield himself up to affliction on this + melancholy occasion. Having felt his loss like a man, he resolved to show + he could bear it like one; and, having declared he had rather have lost a + cask of rum or brandy, betook himself to threshing at backgammon with the + Portuguese friar, in which innocent amusement they had passed about + two-thirds of their time. + </p> + <p> + But as I have, perhaps, a little too wantonly endeavored to raise the + tender passions of my readers in this narrative, I should think myself + unpardonable if I concluded it without giving them the satisfaction of + hearing that the kitten at last recovered, to the great joy of the good + captain, but to the great disappointment of some of the sailors, who + asserted that the drowning a cat was the very surest way of raising a + favorable wind; a supposition of which, though we have heard several + plausible accounts, we will not presume to assign the true original + reason. + </p> + <p> + Friday, July 12.—This day our ladies went ashore at Ryde, and drank + their afternoon tea at an ale-house there with great satisfaction: here + they were regaled with fresh cream, to which they had been strangers since + they left the Downs. + </p> + <p> + Saturday, July 13.—The wind seeming likely to continue in the same + corner where it had been almost constantly for two months together, I was + persuaded by my wife to go ashore and stay at Ryde till we sailed. I + approved the motion much; for though I am a great lover of the sea, I now + fancied there was more pleasure in breathing the fresh air of the land; + but how to get thither was the question; for, being really that dead + luggage which I considered all passengers to be in the beginning of this + narrative, and incapable of any bodily motion without external impulse, it + was in vain to leave the ship, or to determine to do it, without the + assistance of others. In one instance, perhaps, the living, luggage is + more difficult to be moved or removed than an equal or much superior + weight of dead matter; which, if of the brittle kind, may indeed be liable + to be broken through negligence; but this, by proper care, may be almost + certainly prevented; whereas the fractures to which the living lumps are + exposed are sometimes by no caution avoidable, and often by no art to be + amended. + </p> + <p> + I was deliberating on the means of conveyance, not so much out of the ship + to the boat as out of a little tottering boat to the land; a matter which, + as I had already experienced in the Thames, was not extremely easy, when + to be performed by any other limbs than your own. Whilst I weighed all + that could suggest itself on this head, without strictly examining the + merit of the several schemes which were advanced by the captain and + sailors, and, indeed, giving no very deep attention even to my wife, who, + as well as her friend and my daughter, were exerting their tender concern + for my ease and safety, Fortune, for I am convinced she had a hand in it, + sent me a present of a buck; a present welcome enough of itself, but more + welcome on account of the vessel in which it came, being a large hoy, + which in some places would pass for a ship, and many people would go some + miles to see the sight. + </p> + <p> + I was pretty easily conveyed on board this hoy; but to get from hence to + the shore was not so easy a task; for, however strange it may appear, the + water itself did not extend so far; an instance which seems to explain + those lines of Ovid, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Omnia pontus erant, deerant quoque littora ponto, +</pre> + <p> + in a less tautological sense than hath generally been imputed to them. + </p> + <p> + In fact, between the sea and the shore there was, at low water, an + impassable gulf, if I may so call it, of deep mud, which could neither be + traversed by walking nor swimming; so that for near one half of the + twenty-four hours Ryde was inaccessible by friend or foe. But as the + magistrates of this place seemed more to desire the company of the former + than to fear that of the latter, they had begun to make a small causeway + to the low-water mark, so that foot passengers might land whenever they + pleased; but as this work was of a public kind, and would have cost a + large sum of money, at least ten pounds, and the magistrates, that is to + say, the churchwardens, the overseers, constable, and tithingman, and the + principal inhabitants, had every one of them some separate scheme of + private interest to advance at the expense of the public, they fell out + among themselves; and, after having thrown away one half of the requisite + sum, resolved at least to save the other half, and rather be contented to + sit down losers themselves than to enjoy any benefit which might bring in + a greater profit to another. Thus that unanimity which is so necessary in + all public affairs became wanting, and every man, from the fear of being a + bubble to another, was, in reality, a bubble to himself. + </p> + <p> + However, as there is scarce any difficulty to which the strength of men, + assisted with the cunning of art, is not equal, I was at last hoisted into + a small boat, and being rowed pretty near the shore, was taken up by two + sailors, who waded with me through the mud, and placed me in a chair on + the land, whence they afterwards conveyed me a quarter of a mile farther, + and brought me to a house which seemed to bid the fairest for hospitality + of any in Ryde. + </p> + <p> + We brought with us our provisions from the ship, so that we wanted nothing + but a fire to dress our dinner, and a room in which we might eat it. In + neither of these had we any reason to apprehend a disappointment, our + dinner consisting only of beans and bacon; and the worst apartment in his + majesty's dominions, either at home or abroad, being fully sufficient to + answer our present ideas of delicacy. + </p> + <p> + Unluckily, however, we were disappointed in both; for when we arrived + about four at our inn, exulting in the hopes of immediately seeing our + beans smoking on the table, we had the mortification of seeing them on the + table indeed, but without that circumstance which would have made the + sight agreeable, being in the same state in which we had dispatched them + from our ship. In excuse for this delay, though we had exceeded, almost + purposely, the time appointed, and our provision had arrived three hours + before, the mistress of the house acquainted us that it was not for want + of time to dress them that they were not ready, but for fear of their + being cold or over-done before we should come; which she assured us was + much worse than waiting a few minutes for our dinner; an observation so + very just, that it is impossible to find any objection in it; but, indeed, + it was not altogether so proper at this time, for we had given the most + absolute orders to have them ready at four, and had been ourselves, not + without much care and difficulty, most exactly punctual in keeping to the + very minute of our appointment. But tradesmen, inn-keepers, and servants, + never care to indulge us in matters contrary to our true interest, which + they always know better than ourselves; nor can any bribes corrupt them to + go out of their way while they are consulting our good in our own despite. + </p> + <p> + Our disappointment in the other particular, in defiance of our humility, + as it was more extraordinary, was more provoking. In short, Mrs. Francis + (for that was the name of the good woman of the house) no sooner received + the news of our intended arrival than she considered more the gentility + than the humanity of her guests, and applied herself not to that which + kindles but to that which extinguishes fire, and, forgetting to put on her + pot, fell to washing her house. + </p> + <p> + As the messenger who had brought my venison was impatient to be + dispatched, I ordered it to be brought and laid on the table in the room + where I was seated; and the table not being large enough, one side, and + that a very bloody one, was laid on the brick floor. I then ordered Mrs. + Francis to be called in, in order to give her instructions concerning it; + in particular, what I would have roasted and what baked; concluding that + she would be highly pleased with the prospect of so much money being spent + in her house as she might have now reason to expect, if the wind continued + only a few days longer to blow from the same points whence it had blown + for several weeks past. + </p> + <p> + I soon saw good cause, I must confess, to despise my own sagacity. Mrs. + Francis, having received her orders, without making any answer, snatched + the side from the floor, which remained stained with blood, and, bidding a + servant to take up that on the table, left the room with no pleasant + countenance, muttering to herself that, "had she known the litter which + was to have been made, she would not have taken such pains to wash her + house that morning. If this was gentility, much good may it do such + gentlefolks; for her part she had no notion of it." From these murmurs I + received two hints. The one, that it was not from a mistake of our + inclination that the good woman had starved us, but from wisely consulting + her own dignity, or rather perhaps her vanity, to which our hunger was + offered up as a sacrifice. The other, that I was now sitting in a damp + room, a circumstance, though it had hitherto escaped my notice from the + color of the bricks, which was by no means to be neglected in a + valetudinary state. + </p> + <p> + My wife, who, besides discharging excellently well her own and all the + tender offices becoming the female character; who, besides being a + faithful friend, an amiable companion, and a tender nurse, could likewise + supply the wants of a decrepit husband, and occasionally perform his part, + had, before this, discovered the immoderate attention to neatness in Mrs. + Francis, and provided against its ill consequences. She had found, though + not under the same roof, a very snug apartment belonging to Mr. Francis, + and which had escaped the mop by his wife's being satisfied it could not + possibly be visited by gentle-folks. This was a dry, warm, oaken-floored + barn, lined on both sides with wheaten straw, and opening at one end into + a green field and a beautiful prospect. Here, without hesitation, she + ordered the cloth to be laid, and came hastily to snatch me from worse + perils by water than the common dangers of the sea. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Francis, who could not trust her own ears, or could not believe a + footman in so extraordinary a phenomenon, followed my wife, and asked her + if she had indeed ordered the cloth to be laid in the barn? She answered + in the affirmative; upon which Mrs. Francis declared she would not dispute + her pleasure, but it was the first time she believed that quality had ever + preferred a barn to a house. She showed at the same time the most pregnant + marks of contempt, and again lamented the labor she had undergone, through + her ignorance of the absurd taste of her guests. + </p> + <p> + At length we were seated in one of the most pleasant spots I believe in + the kingdom, and were regaled with our beans and bacon, in which there was + nothing deficient but the quantity. This defect was however so deplorable + that we had consumed our whole dish before we had visibly lessened our + hunger. We now waited with impatience the arrival of our second course, + which necessity, and not luxury, had dictated. This was a joint of mutton + which Mrs. Francis had been ordered to provide; but when, being tired with + expectation, we ordered our servants TO SEE FOR SOMETHING ELSE, we were + informed that there was nothing else; on which Mrs. Francis, being + summoned, declared there was no such thing as mutton to be had at Ryde. + When I expressed some astonishment at their having no butcher in a village + so situated, she answered they had a very good one, and one that killed + all sorts of meat in season, beef two or three times a year, and mutton + the whole year round; but that, it being then beans and peas time, he + killed no meat, by reason he was not sure of selling it. This she had not + thought worthy of communication, any more than that there lived a + fisherman at next door, who was then provided with plenty of soles, and + whitings, and lobsters, far superior to those which adorn a city feast. + This discovery being made by accident, we completed the best, the + pleasantest, and the merriest meal, with more appetite, more real solid + luxury, and more festivity, than was ever seen in an entertainment at + White's. + </p> + <p> + It may be wondered at, perhaps, that Mrs. Francis should be so negligent + of providing for her guests, as she may seem to be thus inattentive to her + own interest; but this was not the case; for, having clapped a poll-tax on + our heads at our arrival, and determined at what price to discharge our + bodies from her house, the less she suffered any other to share in the + levy the clearer it came into her own pocket; and that it was better to + get twelve pence in a shilling than ten pence, which latter would be the + case if she afforded us fish at any rate. + </p> + <p> + Thus we passed a most agreeable day owing to good appetites and good + humor; two hearty feeders which will devour with satisfaction whatever + food you place before them; whereas, without these, the elegance of St. + James's, the charde, the perigord-pie, or the ortolan, the venison, the + turtle, or the custard, may titillate the throat, but will never convey + happiness to the heart or cheerfulness to the countenance. + </p> + <p> + As the wind appeared still immovable, my wife proposed my lying on shore. + I presently agreed, though in defiance of an act of parliament, by which + persons wandering abroad and lodging in ale-houses are decreed to be + rogues and vagabonds; and this too after having been very singularly + officious in putting that law in execution. My wife, having reconnoitered + the house, reported that there was one room in which were two beds. It was + concluded, therefore, that she and Harriot should occupy one and myself + take possession of the other. She added likewise an ingenious + recommendation of this room to one who had so long been in a cabin, which + it exactly resembled, as it was sunk down with age on one side, and was in + the form of a ship with gunwales too. + </p> + <p> + For my own part, I make little doubt but this apartment was an ancient + temple, built with the materials of a wreck, and probably dedicated to + Neptune in honor of THE BLESSING sent by him to the inhabitants; such + blessings having in all ages been very common to them. The timber employed + in it confirms this opinion, being such as is seldom used by ally but + ship-builders. I do not find indeed any mention of this matter in Hearn; + but perhaps its antiquity was too modern to deserve his notice. Certain it + is that this island of Wight was not an early convert to Christianity; + nay, there is some reason to doubt whether it was ever entirely converted. + But I have only time to touch slightly on things of this kind, which, + luckily for us, we have a society whose peculiar profession it is to + discuss and develop. + </p> + <p> + Sunday, July 19.—This morning early I summoned Mrs. Francis, in + order to pay her the preceding day's account. As I could recollect only + two or three articles I thought there was no necessity of pen and ink. In + a single instance only we had exceeded what the law allows gratis to a + foot-soldier on his march, viz., vinegar, salt, etc., and dressing his + meat. I found, however, I was mistaken in my calculation; for when the + good woman attended with her bill it contained as follows:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + L. s. d. + + Bread and beer 0 2 4 + + Wind 0 2 0 + + Rum 0 2 0 + + Dressing dinner 0 3 0 + + Tea 0 1 6 + + Firing 0 1 0 + + Lodging 0 1 6 + Servants' lodging 0 0 6 + + ————————- + + L 0 13 10 +</pre> + <p> + Now that five people and two servants should live a day and night at a + public-house for so small a sum will appear incredible to any person in + London above the degree of a chimney-sweeper; but more astonishing will it + seem that these people should remain so long at such a house without + tasting any other delicacy than bread, small beer, a teacupful of milk + called cream, a glass of rum converted into punch by their own materials, + and one bottle of wind, of which we only tasted a single glass though + possibly, indeed, our servants drank the remainder of the bottle. + </p> + <p> + This wind is a liquor of English manufacture, and its flavor is thought + very delicious by the generality of the English, who drink it in great + quantities. Every seventh year is thought to produce as much as the other + six. It is then drank so plentifully that the whole nation are in a manner + intoxicated by it; and consequently very little business is carried on at + that season. It resembles in color the red wine which is imported from + Portugal, as it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, and from this + agreement in the orthography, the one is often confounded with the other, + though both are seldom esteemed by the same person. It is to be had in + every parish of the kingdom, and a pretty large quantity is consumed in + the metropolis, where several taverns are set apart solely for the + vendition of this liquor, the masters never dealing in any other. The + disagreement in our computation produced some small remonstrance to Mrs. + Francis on my side; but this received an immediate answer: "She scorned to + overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always frequented by the very + best gentry of the island; and she had never had a bill found fault with + in her life, though she had lived upwards of forty years in the house, and + within that time the greatest gentry in Hampshire had been at it; and that + lawyer Willis never went to any other when he came to those parts. That + for her part she did not get her livelihood by travelers, who were gone + and away, and she never expected to see them more, but that her neighbors + might come again; wherefore, to be sure, they had the only right to + complain." + </p> + <p> + She was proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed likely + to stretch the discourse to an immoderate length, when I suddenly cut all + short by paying the bill. + </p> + <p> + This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from curiosity than + religion; they were attended by the captain in a most military attire, + with his cockade in his hat and his sword by his side. So unusual an + appearance in this little chapel drew the attention of all present, and + probably disconcerted the women, who were in dishabille, and wished + themselves dressed, for the sake of the curate, who was the greatest of + their beholders. While I was left alone I received a visit from Mr. + Francis himself, who was much more considerable as a farmer than as an + inn-holder. Indeed, he left the latter entirely to the care of his wife, + and he acted wisely, I believe, in so doing. As nothing more remarkable + passed on this day I will close it with the account of these two + characters, as far as a few days' residence could inform me of them. If + they should appear as new to the reader as they did to me, he will not be + displeased at finding them here. This amiable couple seemed to border hard + on their grand climacteric; nor indeed were they shy of owning enough to + fix their ages within a year or two of that time. They appeared to be + rather proud of having employed their time well than ashamed of having + lived so long; the only reason which I could ever assign why some fine + ladies, and fine gentlemen too, should desire to be thought younger than + they really are by the contemporaries of their grandchildren. Some, + indeed, who too hastily credit appearances, might doubt whether they had + made so good a use of their time as I would insinuate, since there was no + appearance of anything but poverty, want, and wretchedness, about their + house; nor could they produce anything to a customer in exchange for his + money but a few bottles of wind, and spirituous liquors, and some very bad + ale, to drink; with rusty bacon and worse cheese to eat. But then it + should be considered, on the other side, that whatever they received was + almost as entirely clear profit as the blessing of a wreck itself; such an + inn being the very reverse of a coffee-house; for here you can neither sit + for nothing nor have anything for your money. + </p> + <p> + Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the marks of + antiquity visible. Scarce anything was to be seen which had not some scar + upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an utensil, it was manifest, had + been purchased within a dozen years last past; so that whatever money had + come into the house during that period at least must have remained in it, + unless it had been sent abroad for food, or other perishable commodities; + but these were supplied by a small portion of the fruits of the farm, in + which the farmer allowed he had a very good bargain. In fact, it is + inconceivable what sums may be collected by starving only, and how easy it + is for a man to die rich if he will but be contented to live miserable. + </p> + <p> + Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as some + apprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of his + cheerfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the contrary; and so + did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature, had a plump, round face, + with a kind of smile on it, and seemed to borrow an air of wretchedness + rather from his coat's age than from his own. + </p> + <p> + The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more than any + possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember to have seen any + caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot, or in any other modern + writer or regimen. + </p> + <p> + Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the learned Dr. James's + Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is a very common + food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not long since very + liberally entertained with it by the present attorney and other eminent + lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and were all made horribly sick by it. + </p> + <p> + But though it should not be found among our English physical writers, we + may be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks; for nothing + considerable in nature escapes their notice, though many things + considerable in them, it is to be feared, have escaped the notice of their + readers. The Greeks, then, to all such as feed too voraciously on this + diet, give the name of HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, I suppose, + translate MEN THAT EAT THEMSELVES. + </p> + <p> + As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food, so nothing + is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only cheap thing the + farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish might produce this disgust; + for Diodorus Siculus attributes the same aversion in a people of Ethiopia + to the same cause; he calls them the fish-eaters, and asserts that they + cannot be brought to eat a single meal with the Heautofagi by any + persuasion, threat, or violence whatever, not even though they should kill + their children before their faces. + </p> + <p> + What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting this + matter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple mistake, arising from + a very excusable ignorance; that the passions of men are capable of + swallowing food as well as their appetites; that the former, in feeding, + resemble the state of those animals who chew the cud; and therefore, such + men, in some sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as it were to + devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a meager aspect and thin habit + of body, as surely as from what is called a consumption. Our farmer was + one of these. He had no more passion than an Ichthuofagus or Ethiopian + fisher. He wished not for anything, thought not of anything; indeed, he + scarce did anything or said anything. Here I cannot be understood + strictly; for then I must describe a nonentity, whereas I would rob him of + nothing but that free agency which is the cause of all the corruption and + of all the misery of human nature. No man, indeed, ever did more than the + farmer, for he was an absolute slave to labor all the week; but in truth, + as my sagacious reader must have at first apprehended, when I said he + resigned the care of the house to his wife, I meant more than I then + expressed, even the house and all that belonged to it; for he was really a + farmer only under the direction of his wife. In a word, so composed, so + serene, so placid a countenance, I never saw; and he satisfied himself by + answering to every question he was asked, "I don't know anything about it, + sir; I leaves all that to my wife." + </p> + <p> + Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil, have made no + composition in life, and for want of all savor must have palled every + taste; nature or fortune, or both of them, took care to provide a proper + quantity of acid in the materials that formed the wife, and to render her + a perfect helpmate for so tranquil a husband. She abounded in whatsoever + he was defective; that is to say, in almost everything. She was indeed as + vinegar to oil, or a brisk wind to a standing-pool, and preserved all from + stagnation and corruption. + </p> + <p> + Quin the player, on taking a nice and severe survey of a fellow-comedian, + burst forth into this exclamation:—"If that fellow be not a rogue, + God Almighty doth not write a legible hand." + </p> + <p> + Whether he guessed right or no is not worth my while to examine; certain + it is that the latter, having wrought his features into a proper harmony + to become the characters of Iago, Shylock, and others of the same cast, + gave us a semblance of truth to the observation that was sufficient to + confirm the wit of it. Indeed, we may remark, in favor of the + physiognomist, though the law has made him a rogue and vagabond, that + Nature is seldom curious in her works within, without employing some + little pains on the outside; and this more particularly in mischievous + characters, in forming which, as Mr. Derham observes, in venomous insects, + as the sting or saw of a wasp, she is sometimes wonderfully industrious. + Now, when she hath thus completely armed our hero to carry on a war with + man, she never fails of furnishing that innocent lambkin with some means + of knowing his enemy, and foreseeing his designs. Thus she hath been + observed to act in the case of a rattlesnake, which never meditates a + human prey without giving warning of his approach. This observation will, + I am convinced, hold most true, if applied to the most venomous + individuals of human insects. A tyrant, a trickster, and a bully, + generally wear the marks of their several dispositions in their + countenances; so do the vixen, the shrew, the scold, and all other females + of the like kind. But, perhaps, nature hath never afforded a stronger + example of all this than in the case of Mrs. Francis. She was a short, + squat woman; her head was closely joined to her shoulders, where it was + fixed somewhat awry; every feature of her countenance was sharp and + pointed; her face was furrowed with the smallpox; and her complexion, + which seemed to be able to turn milk to curds, not a little resembled in + color such milk as had already undergone that operation. She appeared, + indeed, to have many symptoms of a deep jaundice in her look; but the + strength and firmness of her voice overbalanced them all; the tone of this + was a sharp treble at a distance, for I seldom heard it on the same floor, + but was usually waked with it in the morning, and entertained with it + almost continually through the whole day. + </p> + <p> + Though vocal be usually put in opposition to instrumental music, I + question whether this might not be thought to partake of the nature of + both; for she played on two instruments, which she seemed to keep for no + other use from morning till night; these were two maids, or rather + scolding-stocks, who, I suppose, by some means or other, earned their + board, and she gave them their lodging gratis, or for no other service + than to keep her lungs in constant exercise. + </p> + <p> + She differed, as I have said, in every particular from her husband; but + very remarkably in this, that, as it was impossible to displease him, so + it was as impossible to please her; and as no art could remove a smile + from his countenance, so could no art carry it into hers. If her bills + were remonstrated against she was offended with the tacit censure of her + fair-dealing; if they were not, she seemed to regard it as a tacit sarcasm + on her folly, which might have set down larger prices with the same + success. On this lather hint she did indeed improve, for she daily raised + some of her articles. A pennyworth of fire was to-day rated at a shilling, + to-morrow at eighteen-pence; and if she dressed us two dishes for two + shillings on the Saturday, we paid half-a-crown for the cookery of one on + the Sunday; and, whenever she was paid, she never left the room without + lamenting the small amount of her bill, saying, "she knew not how it was + that others got their money by gentle-folks, but for her part she had not + the art of it." When she was asked why she complained, when she was paid + all she demanded, she answered, "she could not deny that, nor did she know + she had omitted anything; but that it was but a poor bill for gentle-folks + to pay." I accounted for all this by her having heard, that it is a maxim + with the principal inn-holders on the continent, to levy considerable sums + on their guests, who travel with many horses and servants, though such + guests should eat little or nothing in their houses; the method being, I + believe, in such cases, to lay a capitation on the horses, and not on + their masters. But she did not consider that in most of these inns a very + great degree of hunger, without any degree of delicacy, may be satisfied; + and that in all such inns there is some appearance, at least, of + provision, as well as of a man-cook to dress it, one of the hostlers being + always furnished with a cook's cap, waistcoat, and apron, ready to attend + gentlemen and ladies on their summons; that the case therefore of such + inns differed from hers, where there was nothing to eat or to drink, and + in reality no house to inhabit, no chair to sit upon, nor any bed to lie + in; that one third or fourth part therefore of the levy imposed at inns + was, in truth, a higher tax than the whole was when laid on in the other, + where, in order to raise a small sum, a man is obliged to submit to pay as + many various ways for the same thing as he doth to the government for the + light which enters through his own window into his own house, from his own + estate; such are the articles of bread and beer, firing, eating and + dressing dinner. + </p> + <p> + The foregoing is a very imperfect sketch of this extraordinary couple; for + everything is here lowered instead of being heightened. Those who would + see them set forth in more lively colors, and with the proper ornaments, + may read the descriptions of the Furies in some of the classical poets, or + of the Stoic philosophers in the works of Lucian. + </p> + <p> + Monday, July 20.—This day nothing remarkable passed; Mrs. Francis + levied a tax of fourteen shillings for the Sunday. We regaled ourselves at + dinner with venison and good claret of our own; and in the afternoon, the + women, attended by the captain, walked to see a delightful scene two miles + distant, with the beauties of which they declared themselves most highly + charmed at their return, as well as with the goodness of the lady of the + mansion, who had slipped out of the way that my wife and their company + might refresh themselves with the flowers and fruits with which her garden + abounded. + </p> + <p> + Tuesday, July 21.—This day, having paid our taxes of yesterday, we + were permitted to regale ourselves with more venison. Some of this we + would willingly have exchanged for mutton; but no such flesh was to be had + nearer than Portsmouth, from whence it would have cost more to convey a + joint to us than the freight of a Portugal ham from Lisbon to London + amounts to; for though the water-carriage be somewhat cheaper here than at + Deal, yet can you find no waterman who will go on board his boat, unless + by two or three hours' rowing he can get drunk for the residue of the + week. + </p> + <p> + And here I have an opportunity, which possibly may not offer again, of + publishing some observations on that political economy of this nation, + which, as it concerns only the regulation of the mob, is below the notice + of our great men; though on the due regulation of this order depend many + emoluments, which the great men themselves, or at least many who tread + close on their heels, may enjoy, as well as some dangers which may some + time or other arise from introducing a pure state of anarchy among them. I + will represent the case, as it appears to me, very fairly and impartially + between the mob and their betters. The whole mischief which infects this + part of our economy arises from the vague and uncertain use of a word + called liberty, of which, as scarce any two men with whom I have ever + conversed seem to have one and the same idea, I am inclined to doubt + whether there be any simple universal notion represented by this word, or + whether it conveys any clearer or more determinate idea than some of those + old Punic compositions of syllables preserved in one of the comedies of + Plautus, but at present, as I conceive, not supposed to be understood by + any one. + </p> + <p> + By liberty, however, I apprehend, is commonly understood the power of + doing what we please; not absolutely, for then it would be inconsistent + with law, by whose control the liberty of the freest people, except only + the Hottentots and wild Indians, must always be restrained. + </p> + <p> + But, indeed, however largely we extend, or however moderately we confine, + the sense of the word, no politician will, I presume, contend that it is + to pervade in an equal degree, and be, with the same extent, enjoyed by, + every member of society; no such polity having been ever found, unless + among those vile people just before commemorated. Among the Greeks and + Romans the servile and free conditions were opposed to each other; and no + man who had the misfortune to be enrolled under the former could lay any + claim to liberty till the right was conveyed to him by that master whose + slave he was, either by the means of conquest, of purchase, or of birth. + </p> + <p> + This was the state of all the free nations in the world; and this, till + very lately, was understood to be the case of our own. + </p> + <p> + I will not indeed say this is the case at present, the lowest class of our + people having shaken off all the shackles of their superiors, and become + not only as free, but even freer, than most of their superiors. I believe + it cannot be doubted, though perhaps we have no recent instance of it, + that the personal attendance of every man who hath three hundred pounds + per annum, in parliament, is indispensably his duty; and that, if the + citizens and burgesses of any city or borough shall choose such a one, + however reluctant he appear, he may be obliged to attend, and be forcibly + brought to his duty by the sergeant-at-arms. + </p> + <p> + Again, there are numbers of subordinate offices, some of which are of + burden, and others of expense, in the civil government—all of which + persons who are qualified are liable to have imposed on them, may be + obliged to undertake and properly execute, notwithstanding any bodily + labor, or even danger, to which they may subject themselves, under the + penalty of fines and imprisonment; nay, and what may appear somewhat hard, + may be compelled to satisfy the losses which are eventually incident, to + that of sheriff in particular, out of their own private fortunes; and + though this should prove the ruin of a family, yet the public, to whom the + price is due, incurs no debt or obligation to preserve its officer + harmless, let his innocence appear ever so clearly. I purposely omit the + mention of those military or military duties which our old constitution + laid upon its greatest members. These might, indeed, supply their posts + with some other able-bodied men; but if no such could have been found, the + obligation nevertheless remained, and they were compellable to serve in + their own proper persons. The only one, therefore, who is possessed of + absolute liberty is the lowest member of the society, who, if he prefers + hunger, or the wild product of the fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, with + the indulgence of ease and laziness, to a food a little more delicate, but + purchased at the expense of labor, may lay himself under a shade; nor can + be forced to take the other alternative from that which he hath, I will + not affirm whether wisely or foolishly, chosen. + </p> + <p> + Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of the last Vagrant Act, where all such + persons are compellable to work for the usual and accustomed wages allowed + in the place; but this is a clause little known to the justices of the + peace, and least likely to be executed by those who do know it, as they + know likewise that it is formed on the ancient power of the justices to + fix and settle these wages every year, making proper allowances for the + scarcity and plenty of the times, the cheapness and dearness of the place; + and that THE USUAL AND ACCUSTOMED WAGES are words without any force or + meaning, when there are no such; but every man spunges and raps whatever + he can get; and will haggle as long and struggle as hard to cheat his + employer of twopence in a day's labor as an honest tradesman will to cheat + his customers of the same sum in a yard of cloth or silk. + </p> + <p> + It is a great pity then that this power, or rather this practice, was not + revived; but, this having been so long omitted that it is become obsolete, + will be best done by a new law, in which this power, as well as the + consequent power of forcing the poor to labor at a moderate and reasonable + rate, should be well considered and their execution facilitated; for + gentlemen who give their time and labor gratis, and even voluntarily, to + the public, have a right to expect that all their business be made as easy + as possible; and to enact laws without doing this is to fill our + statute-books, much too full already, still fuller with dead letter, of no + use but to the printer of the acts of parliament. That the evil which I + have here pointed at is of itself worth redressing, is, I apprehend, no + subject of dispute; for why should any persons in distress be deprived of + the assistance of their fellow-subjects, when they are willing amply to + reward them for their labor? or, why should the lowest of the people be + permitted to exact ten times the value of their work? For those exactions + increase with the degrees of necessity in their object, insomuch that on + the former side many are horribly imposed upon, and that often in no + trifling matters. I was very well assured that at Deal no less than ten + guineas was required, and paid by the supercargo of an Indiaman, for + carrying him on board two miles from the shore when she was just ready to + sail; so that his necessity, as his pillager well understood, was + absolute. Again, many others, whose indignation will not submit to such + plunder, are forced to refuse the assistance, though they are often great + sufferers by so doing. On the latter side, the lowest of the people are + encouraged in laziness and idleness; while they live by a twentieth part + of the labor that ought to maintain them, which is diametrically opposite + to the interest of the public; for that requires a great deal to be done, + not to be paid, for a little. And moreover, they are confirmed in habits + of exaction, and are taught to consider the distresses of their superiors + as their own fair emolument. But enough of this matter, of which I at + first intended only to convey a hint to those who are alone capable of + applying the remedy, though they are the last to whom the notice of those + evils would occur, without some such monitor as myself, who am forced to + travel about the world in the form of a passenger. I cannot but say I + heartily wish our governors would attentively consider this method of + fixing the price of labor, and by that means of compelling the poor to + work, since the due execution of such powers will, I apprehend, be found + the true and only means of making them useful, and of advancing trade from + its present visibly declining state to the height to which Sir William + Petty, in his Political Arithmetic, thinks it capable of being carried. + </p> + <p> + In the afternoon the lady of the above-mentioned mansion called at our + inn, and left her compliments to us with Mrs. Francis, with an assurance + that while we continued wind-bound in that place, where she feared we + could be but indifferently accommodated, we were extremely welcome to the + use of anything which her garden or her house afforded. So polite a + message convinced us, in spite of some arguments to the contrary, that we + were not on the coast of Africa, or on some island where the few savage + inhabitants have little of human in them besides their form. And here I + mean nothing less than to derogate from the merit of this lady, who is not + only extremely polite in her behavior to strangers of her own rank, but so + extremely good and charitable to all her poor neighbors who stand in need + of her assistance, that she hath the universal love and praises of all who + live near her. But, in reality, how little doth the acquisition of so + valuable a character, and the full indulgence of so worthy a disposition, + cost those who possess it! Both are accomplished by the very offals which + fall from a table moderately plentiful. That they are enjoyed therefore by + so few arises truly from there being so few who have any such disposition + to gratify, or who aim at any such character. + </p> + <p> + Wednesday, July 22.—This morning, after having been mulcted as + usual, we dispatched a servant with proper acknowledgments of the lady's + goodness; but confined our wants entirely to the productions of her + garden. He soon returned, in company with the gardener, both richly laden + with almost every particular which a garden at this most fruitful season + of the year produces. While we were regaling ourselves with these, towards + the close of our dinner, we received orders from our commander, who had + dined that day with some inferior officers on board a man-of-war, to + return instantly to the ship; for that the wind was become favorable and + he should weigh that evening. These orders were soon followed by the + captain himself, who was still in the utmost hurry, though the occasion of + it had long since ceased; for the wind had, indeed, a little shifted that + afternoon, but was before this very quietly set down in its old quarters. + </p> + <p> + This last was a lucky hit for me; for, as the captain, to whose orders we + resolved to pay no obedience, unless delivered by himself, did not return + till past six, so much time seemed requisite to put up the furniture of + our bed-chamber or dining-room, for almost every article, even to some of + the chairs, were either our own or the captain's property; so much more in + conveying it as well as myself, as dead a luggage as any, to the shore, + and thence to the ship, that the night threatened first to overtake us. A + terrible circumstance to me, in my decayed condition; especially as very + heavy showers of rain, attended with a high wind, continued to fall + incessantly; the being carried through which two miles in the dark, in a + wet and open boat, seemed little less than certain death. However, as my + commander was absolute, his orders peremptory, and my obedience necessary, + I resolved to avail myself of a philosophy which hath been of notable use + to me in the latter part of my life, and which is contained in this + hemistich of Virgil:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ——Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est. +</pre> + <p> + The meaning of which, if Virgil had any, I think I rightly understood, and + rightly applied. As I was therefore to be entirely passive in my motion, I + resolved to abandon myself to the conduct of those who were to carry me + into a cart when it returned from unloading the goods. + </p> + <p> + But before this, the captain, perceiving what had happened in the clouds, + and that the wind remained as much his enemy as ever, came upstairs to me + with a reprieve till the morning. This was, I own, very agreeable news, + and I little regretted the trouble of refurnishing my apartment, by + sending back for the goods. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Francis was not well pleased with this. + </p> + <p> + As she understood the reprieve to be only till the morning, she saw + nothing but lodging to be possibly added, out of which she was to deduct + fire and candle, and the remainder, she thought, would scarce pay her for + her trouble. She exerted therefore all the ill-humor of which she was + mistress, and did all she could to thwart and perplex everything during + the whole evening. + </p> + <p> + Thursday, July 23.—Early in the morning the captain, who had + remained on shore all night, came to visit us, and to press us to make + haste on board. "I am resolved," says he, "not to lose a moment now the + wind is coming about fair: for my own part, I never was surer of a wind in + all my life." I use his very words; nor will I presume to interpret or + comment upon them farther than by observing that they were spoke in the + utmost hurry. + </p> + <p> + We promised to be ready as soon as breakfast was over, but this was not so + soon as was expected; for, in removing our goods the evening before, the + tea-chest was unhappily lost. Every place was immediately searched, and + many where it was impossible for it to be; for this was a loss of much + greater consequence than it may at first seem to many of my readers. + Ladies and valetudinarians do not easily dispense with the use of this + sovereign cordial in a single instance; but to undertake a long voyage, + without any probability of being supplied with it the whole way, was above + the reach of patience. And yet, dreadful as this calamity was, it seemed + unavoidable. The whole town of Ryde could not supply a single leaf; for, + as to what Mrs. Francis and the shop called by that name, it was not of + Chinese growth. It did not indeed in the least resemble tea, either in + smell or taste, or in any particular, unless in being a leaf; for it was + in truth no other than a tobacco of the mundungus species. And as for the + hopes of relief in any other port, they were not to be depended upon, for + the captain had positively declared he was sure of a wind, and would let + go his anchor no more till he arrived in the Tajo. + </p> + <p> + When a good deal of time had been spent, most of it indeed wasted on this + occasion, a thought occurred which every one wondered at its not having + presented itself the first moment. This was to apply to the good lady, who + could not fail of pitying and relieving such distress. A messenger was + immediately despatched with an account of our misfortune, till whose + return we employed ourselves in preparatives for our departure, that we + might have nothing to do but to swallow our breakfast when it arrived. The + tea-chest, though of no less consequence to us than the military-chest to + a general, was given up as lost, or rather as stolen, for though I would + not, for the world, mention any particular name, it is certain we had + suspicions, and all, I am afraid, fell on the same person. + </p> + <p> + The man returned from the worthy lady with much expedition, and brought + with him a canister of tea, despatched with so true a generosity, as well + as politeness, that if our voyage had been as long again we should have + incurred no danger of being brought to a short allowance in this most + important article. At the very same instant likewise arrived William the + footman with our own tea-chest. It had been, indeed, left in the hoy, when + the other goods were re-landed, as William, when he first heard it was + missing, had suspected; and whence, had not the owner of the hoy been + unluckily out of the way, he had retrieved it soon enough to have + prevented our giving the lady an opportunity of displaying some part of + her goodness. To search the hoy was, indeed, too natural a suggestion to + have escaped any one, nor did it escape being mentioned by many of us; but + we were dissuaded from it by my wife's maid, who perfectly well remembered + she had left the chest in the bed-chamber; for that she had never given it + out of her hand in her way to or from the hoy; but William perhaps knew + the maid better, and best understood how far she was to be believed; for + otherwise he would hardly of his own accord, after hearing her + declaration, have hunted out the hoy-man, with much pains and difficulty. + Thus ended this scene, which began with such appearance of distress, and + ended with becoming the subject of mirth and laughter. Nothing now + remained but to pay our taxes, which were indeed laid with inconceivable + severity. Lodging was raised sixpence, fire in the same proportion, and + even candles, which had hitherto escaped, were charged with a wantonness + of imposition, from the beginning, and placed under the style of + oversight. We were raised a whole pound, whereas we had only burned ten, + in five nights, and the pound consisted of twenty-four. + </p> + <p> + Lastly, an attempt was made which almost as far exceeds human credulity to + believe as it did human patience to submit to. This was to make us pay as + much for existing an hour or two as for existing a whole day; and dressing + dinner was introduced as an article, though we left the house before + either pot or spit had approached the fire. Here I own my patience failed + me, and I became an example of the truth of the observation, "That all + tyranny and oppression may be carried too far, and that a yoke may be made + too intolerable for the neck of the tamest slave." When I remonstrated, + with some warmth, against this grievance, Mrs. Francis gave me a look, and + left the room without making any answer. She returned in a minute, running + to me with pen, ink, and paper, in her hand, and desired me to make my own + bill; "for she hoped," she said "I did not expect that her house was to be + dirtied, and her goods spoiled and consumed for nothing. The whole is but + thirteen shillings. Can gentlefolks lie a whole night at a public-house + for less? If they can I am sure it is time to give off being a landlady: + but pay me what you please; I would have people know that I value money as + little as other folks. But I was always a fool, as I says to my husband, + and never knows which side my bread is buttered of. And yet, to be sure, + your honor shall be my warning not to be bit so again. Some folks knows + better than other some how to make their bills. Candles! why yes, to be + sure; why should not travelers pay for candles? I am sure I pays for my + candles, and the chandler pays the king's majesty for them; and if he did + not I must, so as it comes to the same thing in the end. To be sure I am + out of sixteens at present, but these burn as white and as clear, though + not quite so large. I expects my chandler here soon, or I would send to + Portsmouth, if your honor was to stay any time longer. But when folks + stays only for a wind, you knows there can be no dependence on such!" Here + she put on a little slyness of aspect, and seemed willing to submit to + interruption. I interrupted her accordingly by throwing down half a + guinea, and declared I had no more English money, which was indeed true; + and, as she could not immediately change the thirty-six shilling pieces, + it put a final end to the dispute. Mrs. Francis soon left the room, and we + soon after left the house; nor would this good woman see us or wish us a + good voyage. I must not, however, quit this place, where we had been so + ill-treated, without doing it impartial justice, and recording what may, + with the strictest truth, be said in its favor. + </p> + <p> + First, then, as to its situation, it is, I think, most delightful, and in + the most pleasant spot in the whole island. It is true it wants the + advantage of that beautiful river which leads from Newport to Cowes; but + the prospect here extending to the sea, and taking in Portsmouth, + Spithead, and St. Helen's, would be more than a recompense for the loss of + the Thames itself, even in the most delightful part of Berkshire or + Buckinghamshire, though another Denham, or another Pope, should unite in + celebrating it. For my own part, I confess myself so entirely fond of a + sea prospect, that I think nothing on the land can equal it; and if it be + set off with shipping, I desire to borrow no ornament from the terra + firma. A fleet of ships is, in my opinion, the noblest object which the + art of man hath ever produced; and far beyond the power of those + architects who deal in brick, in stone, or in marble. + </p> + <p> + When the late Sir Robert Walpole, one of the best of men and of ministers, + used to equip us a yearly fleet at Spithead, his enemies of taste must + have allowed that he, at least, treated the nation with a fine sight for + their money. A much finer, indeed, than the same expense in an encampment + could have produced. For what indeed is the best idea which the prospect + of a number of huts can furnish to the mind, but of a number of men + forming themselves into a society before the art of building more + substantial houses was known? This, perhaps, would be agreeable enough; + but, in truth, there is a much worse idea ready to step in before it, and + that is of a body of cut-throats, the supports of tyranny, the invaders of + the just liberties and properties of mankind, the plunderers of the + industrious, the ravishers of the chaste, the murderers of the innocent, + and, in a word, the destroyers of the plenty, the peace, and the safety, + of their fellow-creatures. + </p> + <p> + And what, it may be said, are these men-of-war which seem so delightful an + object to our eyes? Are they not alike the support of tyranny and + oppression of innocence, carrying with them desolation and ruin wherever + their masters please to send them? This is indeed too true; and however + the ship of war may, in its bulk and equipment, exceed the honest + merchantman, I heartily wish there was no necessity for it; for, though I + must own the superior beauty of the object on one side, I am more pleased + with the superior excellence of the idea which I can raise in my mind on + the other, while I reflect on the art and industry of mankind engaged in + the daily improvements of commerce to the mutual benefit of all countries, + and to the establishment and happiness of social life. This pleasant + village is situated on a gentle ascent from the water, whence it affords + that charming prospect I have above described. Its soil is a gravel, + which, assisted with its declivity, preserves it always so dry that + immediately after the most violent rain a fine lady may walk without + wetting her silken shoes. The fertility of the place is apparent from its + extraordinary verdure, and it is so shaded with large and flourishing + elms, that its narrow lanes are a natural grove or walk, which, in the + regularity of its plantation, vies with the power of art, and in its + wanton exuberancy greatly exceeds it. + </p> + <p> + In a field in the ascent of this hill, about a quarter of a mile from the + sea, stands a neat little chapel. It is very small, but adequate to the + number of inhabitants; for the parish doth not seem to contain above + thirty houses. + </p> + <p> + At about two miles distant from this parish lives that polite and good + lady to whose kindness we were so much obliged. It is placed on a hill + whose bottom is washed by the sea, and which from its eminence at top, + commands a view of great part of the island as well as it does that of the + opposite shore. This house was formerly built by one Boyce, who, from a + blacksmith at Gosport, became possessed, by great success in smuggling, of + forty thousand pound. With part of this he purchased an estate here, and, + by chance probably, fixed on this spot for building a large house. Perhaps + the convenience of carrying on his business, to which it is so well + adapted, might dictate the situation to him. We can hardly, at least, + attribute it to the same taste with which he furnished his house, or at + least his library, by sending an order to a bookseller in London to pack + him up five hundred pounds' worth of his handsomest books. They tell here + several almost incredible stories of the ignorance, the folly, and the + pride, which this poor man and his wife discovered during the short + continuance of his prosperity; for he did not long escape the sharp eyes + of the revenue solicitors, and was, by extents from the court of + Exchequer, soon reduced below his original state to that of confinement in + the Fleet. All his effects were sold, and among the rest his books, by an + auction at Portsmouth, for a very small price; for the bookseller was now + discovered to have been perfectly a master of his trade, and, relying on + Mr. Boyce's finding little time to read, had sent him not only the most + lasting wares of his shop, but duplicates of the same, under different + titles. + </p> + <p> + His estate and house were purchased by a gentleman of these parts, whose + widow now enjoys them, and who hath improved them, particularly her + gardens, with so elegant a taste, that the painter who would assist his + imagination in the composition of a most exquisite landscape, or the poet + who would describe an earthly paradise, could nowhere furnish themselves + with a richer pattern. + </p> + <p> + We left this place about eleven in the morning, and were again conveyed, + with more sunshine than wind, aboard our ship. + </p> + <p> + Whence our captain had acquired his power of prophecy, when he promised us + and himself a prosperous wind, I will not determine; it is sufficient to + observe that he was a false prophet, and that the weathercocks continued + to point as before. He would not, however, so easily give up his skill in + prediction. He persevered in asserting that the wind was changed, and, + having weighed his anchor, fell down that afternoon to St. Helen's, which + was at about the distance of five miles; and whither his friend the tide, + in defiance of the wind, which was most manifestly against him, softly + wafted him in as many hours. + </p> + <p> + Here, about seven in the evening, before which time we could not procure + it, we sat down to regale ourselves with some roasted venison, which was + much better dressed than we imagined it would be, and an excellent cold + pasty which my wife had made at Ryde, and which we had reserved uncut to + eat on board our ship, whither we all cheerfully exulted in being returned + from the presence of Mrs. Francis, who, by the exact resemblance she bore + to a fury, seemed to have been with no great propriety settled in + paradise. + </p> + <p> + Friday, July 24.—As we passed by Spithead on the preceding evening + we saw the two regiments of soldiers who were just returned from Gibraltar + and Minorca; and this day a lieutenant belonging to one of them, who was + the captain's nephew, came to pay a visit to his uncle. He was what is + called by some a very pretty fellow; indeed, much too pretty a fellow at + his years; for he was turned of thirty-four, though his address and + conversation would have become him more before he had reached twenty. In + his conversation, it is true, there was something military enough, as it + consisted chiefly of oaths, and of the great actions and wise sayings of + Jack, and Will, and Tom of our regiment, a phrase eternally in his mouth; + and he seemed to conclude that it conveyed to all the officers such a + degree of public notoriety and importance that it entitled him like the + head of a profession, or a first minister, to be the subject of + conversation among those who had not the least personal acquaintance with + him. This did not much surprise me, as I have seen several examples of the + same; but the defects in his address, especially to the women, were so + great that they seemed absolutely inconsistent with the behavior of a + pretty fellow, much less of one in a red coat; and yet, besides having + been eleven years in the army, he had had, as his uncle informed me, an + education in France. This, I own, would have appeared to have been + absolutely thrown away had not his animal spirits, which were likewise + thrown away upon him in great abundance, borne the visible stamp of the + growth of that country. The character to which he had an indisputable + title was that of a merry fellow; so very merry was he that he laughed at + everything he said, and always before he spoke. Possibly, indeed, he often + laughed at what he did not utter, for every speech begun with a laugh, + though it did not always end with a jest. There was no great analogy + between the characters of the uncle and the nephew, and yet they seemed + entirely to agree in enjoying the honor which the red-coat did to his + family. This the uncle expressed with great pleasure in his countenance, + and seemed desirous of showing all present the honor which he had for his + nephew, who, on his side, was at some pains to convince us of his + concurring in this opinion, and at the same time of displaying the + contempt he had for the parts, as well as the occupation of his uncle, + which he seemed to think reflected some disgrace on himself, who was a + member of that profession which makes every man a gentleman. Not that I + would be understood to insinuate that the nephew endeavored to shake off + or disown his uncle, or indeed to keep him at any distance. On the + contrary, he treated him with the utmost familiarity, often calling him + Dick, and dear Dick, and old Dick, and frequently beginning an oration + with D—n me, Dick. + </p> + <p> + All this condescension on the part of the young man was received with + suitable marks of complaisance and obligation by the old one; especially + when it was attended with evidences of the same familiarity with general + officers and other persons of rank; one of whom, in particular, I know to + have the pride and insolence of the devil himself, and who, without some + strong bias of interest, is no more liable to converse familiarly with a + lieutenant than of being mistaken in his judgment of a fool; which was + not, perhaps, so certainly the case of the worthy lieutenant, who, in + declaring to us the qualifications which recommended men to his + countenance and conversation, as well as what effectually set a bar to all + hopes of that honor, exclaimed, "No, sir, by the d— I hate all fools— + No, d—n me, excuse me for that. That's a little too much, old Dick. + There are two or three officers of our regiment whom I know to be fools; + but d—n me if I am ever seen in their company. If a man hath a fool + of a relation, Dick, you know he can't help that, old boy." Such jokes as + these the old man not only tools in good part, but glibly gulped down the + whole narrative of his nephew; nor did he, I am convinced, in the least + doubt of our as readily swallowing the same. This made him so charmed with + the lieutenant, that it is probable we should have been pestered with him + the whole evening, had not the north wind, dearer to our sea-captain even + than this glory of his family, sprung suddenly up, and called aloud to him + to weigh his anchor. While this ceremony was performing, the sea-captain + ordered out his boat to row the land-captain to shore; not indeed on an + uninhabited island, but one which, in this part, looked but little better, + not presenting us the view of a single house. Indeed, our old friend, when + his boat returned on shore, perhaps being no longer able to stifle his + envy of the superiority of his nephew, told us with a smile that the young + man had a good five mile to walk before he could be accommodated with a + passage to Portsmouth. + </p> + <p> + It appeared now that the captain had been only mistaken in the date of his + prediction, by placing the event a day earlier than it happened; for the + wind which now arose was not only favorable but brisk, and was no sooner + in reach of our sails than it swept us away by the back of the Isle of + Wight, and, having in the night carried us by Christchurch and + Peveral-point, brought us the next noon, Saturday, July 25, oft the island + of Portland, so famous for the smallness and sweetness of its mutton, of + which a leg seldom weighs four pounds. We would have bought a sheep, but + our captain would not permit it; though he needed not have been in such a + hurry, for presently the wind, I will not positively assert in resentment + of his surliness, showed him a dog's trick, and slyly slipped back again + to his summer-house in the south-west. + </p> + <p> + The captain now grew outrageous, and, declaring open war with the wind, + took a resolution, rather more bold than wise, of sailing in defiance of + it, and in its teeth. He swore he would let go his anchor no more, but + would beat the sea while he had either yard or sail left. He accordingly + stood from the shore, and made so large a tack that before night, though + he seemed to advance but little on his way, he was got out of sight of + land. + </p> + <p> + Towards evening the wind began, in the captain's own language, and indeed + it freshened so much, that before ten it blew a perfect hurricane. The + captain having got, as he supposed, to a safe distance, tacked again + towards the English shore; and now the wind veered a point only in his + favor, and continued to blow with such violence, that the ship ran above + eight knots or miles an hour during this whole day and tempestuous night + till bed-time. I was obliged to betake myself once more to my solitude, + for my women were again all down in their sea-sickness, and the captain + was busy on deck; for he began to grow uneasy, chiefly, I believe, because + he did not well know where he was, and would, I am convinced, have been + very glad to have been in Portland-road, eating some sheep's-head broth. + </p> + <p> + Having contracted no great degree of good-humor by living a whole day + alone, without a single soul to converse with, I took but ill physic to + purge it off, by a bed-conversation with the captain, who, amongst many + bitter lamentations of his fate, and protesting he had more patience than + a Job, frequently intermixed summons to the commanding officer on the + deck, who now happened to be one Morrison, a carpenter, the only fellow + that had either common sense or common civility in the ship. Of Morrison + he inquired every quarter of an hour concerning the state of affairs: the + wind, the care of the ship, and other matters of navigation. The frequency + of these summons, as well as the solicitude with which they were made, + sufficiently testified the state of the captain's mind; he endeavored to + conceal it, and would have given no small alarm to a man who had either + not learned what it is to die, or known what it is to be miserable. And my + dear wife and child must pardon me, if what I did not conceive to be any + great evil to myself I was not much terrified with the thoughts of + happening to them; in truth, I have often thought they are both too good + and too gentle to be trusted to the power of any man I know, to whom they + could possibly be so trusted. + </p> + <p> + Can I say then I had no fear? indeed I cannot. Reader, I was afraid for + thee, lest thou shouldst have been deprived of that pleasure thou art now + enjoying; and that I should not live to draw out on paper that military + character which thou didst peruse in the journal of yesterday. + </p> + <p> + From all these fears we were relieved, at six in the morning, by the + arrival of Mr. Morrison, who acquainted us that he was sure he beheld land + very near; for he could not see half a mile, by reason of the haziness of + the weather. This land he said was, he believed, the Berry-head, which + forms one side of Torbay: the captain declared that it was impossible, and + swore, on condition he was right, he would give him his mother for a maid. + A forfeit which became afterwards strictly due and payable; for the + captain, whipping on his night-gown, ran up without his breeches, and + within half an hour returning into the cabin, wished me joy of our lying + safe at anchor in the bay. + </p> + <p> + Sunday, July 26.—Things now began to put on an aspect very different + from what they had lately worn; the news that the ship had almost lost its + mizzen, and that we had procured very fine clouted cream and fresh bread + and butter from the shore, restored health and spirits to our women, and + we all sat down to a very cheerful breakfast. But, however pleasant our + stay promised to be here, we were all desirous it should be short: I + resolved immediately to despatch my man into the country to purchase a + present of cider, for my friends of that which is called Southam, as well + as to take with me a hogshead of it to Lisbon; for it is, in my opinion, + much more delicious than that which is the growth of Herefordshire. I + purchased three hogsheads for five pounds ten shillings, all which I + should have scarce thought worth mentioning, had I not believed it might + be of equal service to the honest farmer who sold it me, and who is by the + neighboring gentlemen reputed to deal in the very best; and to the reader, + who, from ignorance of the means of providing better for himself, swallows + at a dearer rate the juice of Middlesex turnip, instead of that Vinum + Pomonae which Mr. Giles Leverance of Cheeshurst, near Dartmouth in Devon, + will, at the price of forty shillings per hogshead, send in double casks + to any part of the world. Had the wind been very sudden in shifting, I had + lost my cider by an attempt of a boatman to exact, according to custom. He + required five shillings for conveying my man a mile and a half to the + shore, and four more if he stayed to bring him back. This I thought to be + such insufferable impudence that I ordered him to be immediately chased + from the ship, without any answer. Indeed, there are few inconveniences + that I would not rather encounter than encourage the insolent demands of + these wretches, at the expense of my own indignation, of which I own they + are not the only objects, but rather those who purchase a paltry + convenience by encouraging them. But of this I have already spoken very + largely. I shall conclude, therefore, with the leave which this fellow + took of our ship; saying he should know it again, and would not put off + from the shore to relieve it in any distress whatever. It will, doubtless, + surprise many of my readers to hear that, when we lay at anchor within a + mile or two of a town several days together, and even in the most + temperate weather, we should frequently want fresh provisions and herbage, + and other emoluments of the shore, as much as if we had been a hundred + leagues from land. And this too while numbers of boats were in our sight, + whose owners get their livelihood by rowing people up and down, and could + be at any time summoned by a signal to our assistance, and while the + captain had a little boat of his own, with men always ready to row it at + his command. + </p> + <p> + This, however, hath been partly accounted for already by the imposing + disposition of the people, who asked so much more than the proper price of + their labor. And as to the usefulness of the captain's boat, it requires + to be a little expatiated upon, as it will tend to lay open some of the + grievances which demand the utmost regard of our legislature, as they + affect the most valuable part of the king's subjects—those by whom + the commerce of the nation is carried into execution. Our captain then, + who was a very good and experienced seaman, having been above thirty years + the master of a vessel, part of which he had served, so he phrased it, as + commander of a privateer, and had discharged himself with great courage + and conduct, and with as great success, discovered the utmost aversion to + the sending his boat ashore whenever we lay wind-bound in any of our + harbors. This aversion did not arise from any fear of wearing out his boat + by using it, but was, in truth, the result of experience, that it was + easier to send his men on shore than to recall them. They acknowledged him + to be their master while they remained on shipboard, but did not allow his + power to extend to the shores, where they had no sooner set their foot + than every man became sui juris, and thought himself at full liberty to + return when he pleased. Now it is not any delight that these fellows have + in the fresh air or verdant fields on the land. Every one of them would + prefer his ship and his hammock to all the sweets of Arabia the Happy; + but, unluckily for them, there are in every seaport in England certain + houses whose chief livelihood depends on providing entertainment for the + gentlemen of the jacket. For this purpose they are always well furnished + with those cordial liquors which do immediately inspire the heart with + gladness, banishing all careful thoughts, and indeed all others, from the + mind, and opening the mouth with songs of cheerfulness and thanksgiving + for the many wonderful blessings with which a seafaring life overflows. + </p> + <p> + For my own part, however whimsical it may appear, I confess I have thought + the strange story of Circe in the Odyssey no other than an ingenious + allegory, in which Homer intended to convey to his countrymen the same + kind of instruction which we intend to communicate to our own in this + digression. As teaching the art of war to the Greeks was the plain design + of the Iliad, so was teaching them the art of navigation the no less + manifest intention of the Odyssey. For the improvement of this, their + situation was most excellently adapted; and accordingly we find + Thucydides, in the beginning of his history, considers the Greeks as a set + of pirates or privateers, plundering each other by sea. This being + probably the first institution of commerce before the Ars Cauponaria was + invented, and merchants, instead of robbing, began to cheat and outwit + each other, and by degrees changed the Metabletic, the only kind of + traffic allowed by Aristotle in his Politics, into the Chrematistic. + </p> + <p> + By this allegory then I suppose Ulysses to have been the captain of a + merchant-ship, and Circe some good ale-wife, who made his crew drunk with + the spirituous liquors of those days. With this the transformation into + swine, as well as all other incidents of the fable, will notably agree; + and thus a key will be found out for unlocking the whole mystery, and + forging at least some meaning to a story which, at present, appears very + strange and absurd. + </p> + <p> + Hence, moreover, will appear the very near resemblance between the + sea-faring men of all ages and nations; and here perhaps may be + established the truth and justice of that observation, which will occur + oftener than once in this voyage, that all human flesh is not the same + flesh, but that there is one kind of flesh of landmen, and another of + seamen. + </p> + <p> + Philosophers, divines, and others, who have treated the gratification of + human appetites with contempt, have, among other instances, insisted very + strongly on that satiety which is so apt to overtake them even in the very + act of enjoyment. And here they more particularly deserve our attention, + as most of them may be supposed to speak from their own experience, and + very probably gave us their lessons with a full stomach. Thus hunger and + thirst, whatever delight they may afford while we are eating and drinking, + pass both away from us with the plate and the cup; and though we should + imitate the Romans, if, indeed, they were such dull beasts, which I can + scarce believe, to unload the belly like a dung-pot, in order to fill it + again with another load, yet would the pleasure be so considerably + lessened that it would scarce repay us the trouble of purchasing it with + swallowing a basin of camomile tea. A second haunch of venison, or a + second dose of turtle, would hardly allure a city glutton with its smell. + Even the celebrated Jew himself, when well filled with calipash and + calipee, goes contentedly home to tell his money, and expects no more + pleasure from his throat during the next twenty-four hours. Hence I + suppose Dr. South took that elegant comparison of the joys of a + speculative man to the solemn silence of an Archimedes over a problem, and + those of a glutton to the stillness of a sow at her wash. A simile which, + if it became the pulpit at all, could only become it in the afternoon. + Whereas in those potations which the mind seems to enjoy, rather than the + bodily appetite, there is happily no such satiety; but the more a man + drinks, the more he desires; as if, like Mark Anthony in Dryden, his + appetite increased with feeding, and this to such an immoderate degree, ut + nullus sit desiderio aut pudor aut modus. Hence, as with the gang of + Captain Ulysses, ensues so total a transformation, that the man no more + continues what he was. Perhaps he ceases for a time to be at all; or, + though he may retain the same outward form and figure he had before, yet + is his nobler part, as we are taught to call it, so changed, that, instead + of being the same man, he scarce remembers what he was a few hours before. + And this transformation, being once obtained, is so easily preserved by + the same potations, which induced no satiety, that the captain in vain + sends or goes in quest of his crew. They know him no longer; or, if they + do, they acknowledge not his power, having indeed as entirely forgotten + themselves as if they had taken a large draught of the river of Lethe. + </p> + <p> + Nor is the captain always sure of even finding out the place to which + Circe hath conveyed them. There are many of those houses in every + port-town. Nay, there are some where the sorceress doth not trust only to + her drugs; but hath instruments of a different kind to execute her + purposes, by whose means the tar is effectually secreted from the + knowledge and pursuit of his captain. This would, indeed, be very fatal, + was it not for one circumstance; that the sailor is seldom provided with + the proper bait for these harpies. However, the contrary sometimes + happens, as these harpies will bite at almost anything, and will snap at a + pair of silver buttons, or buckles, as surely as at the specie itself. + Nay, sometimes they are so voracious, that the very naked hook will go + down, and the jolly young sailor is sacrificed for his own sake. + </p> + <p> + In vain, at such a season as this, would the vows of a pious heathen have + prevailed over Neptune, Aeolus, or any other marine deity. In vain would + the prayers of a Christian captain be attended with the like success. The + wind may change how it pleases while all hands are on shore; the anchor + would remain firm in the ground, and the ship would continue in durance, + unless, like other forcible prison-breakers, it forcibly got loose for no + good purpose. Now, as the favor of winds and courts, and such like, is + always to be laid hold on at the very first motion, for within twenty-four + hours all may be changed again; so, in the former case, the loss of a day + may be the loss of a voyage: for, though it may appear to persons not well + skilled in navigation, who see ships meet and sail by each other, that the + wind blows sometimes east and west, north and south, backwards and + forwards, at the same instant; yet, certain it is that the land is so + contrived, that even the same wind will not, like the same horse, always + bring a man to the end of his journey; but, that the gale which the + mariner prayed heartily for yesterday, he may as heartily deprecate + to-morrow; while all use and benefit which would have arisen to him from + the westerly wind of to-morrow may be totally lost and thrown away by + neglecting the offer of the easterly blast which blows to-day. + </p> + <p> + Hence ensues grief and disreputation to the innocent captain, loss and + disappointment to the worthy merchant, and not seldom great prejudice to + the trade of a nation whose manufactures are thus liable to lie unsold in + a foreign warehouse the market being forestalled by some rival whose + sailors are under a better discipline. To guard against these + inconveniences the prudent captain takes every precaution in his power; he + makes the strongest contracts with his crew, and thereby binds them so + firmly, that none but the greatest or least of men can break through them + with impunity; but for one of these two reasons, which I will not + determine, the sailor, like his brother fish the eel, is too slippery to + be held, and plunges into his element with perfect impunity. To speak a + plain truth, there is no trusting to any contract with one whom the wise + citizens of London call a bad man; for, with such a one, though your bond + be ever so strong, it will prove in the end good for nothing. + </p> + <p> + What then is to be done in this case? What, indeed, but to call in the + assistance of that tremendous magistrate, the justice of peace, who can, + and often doth, lay good and bad men in equal durance; and, though he + seldom cares to stretch his bonds to what is great, never finds anything + too minute for their detention, but will hold the smallest reptile alive + so fast in his noose, that he can never get out till he is let drop + through it. Why, therefore, upon the breach of those contracts, should not + an immediate application be made to the nearest magistrate of this order, + who should be empowered to convey the delinquent either to ship or to + prison, at the election of the captain, to be fettered by the leg in + either place? But, as the case now stands, the condition of this poor + captain without any commission, and of this absolute commander without any + power, is much worse than we have hitherto shown it to be; for, + notwithstanding all the aforesaid contracts to sail in the good ship the + Elizabeth, if the sailor should, for better wages, find it more his + interest to go on board the better ship the Mary, either before their + setting out or on their speedy meeting in some port, he may prefer the + latter without any other danger than that of "doing what he ought not to + have done," contrary to a rule which he is seldom Christian enough to have + much at heart, while the captain is generally too good a Christian to + punish a man out of revenge only, when he is to be at a considerable + expense for so doing. There are many other deficiencies in our laws + relating to maritime affairs, and which would probably have been long + since corrected, had we any seamen in the House of Commons. Not that I + would insinuate that the legislature wants a supply of many gentlemen in + the sea-service; but, as these gentlemen are by their attendance in the + house unfortunately prevented from ever going to sea, and there learning + what they might communicate to their landed brethren, these latter remain + as ignorant in that branch of knowledge as they would be if none but + courtiers and fox-hunters had been elected into parliament, without a + single fish among them. The following seems to me to be an effect of this + kind, and it strikes me the stronger as I remember the case to have + happened, and remember it to have been dispunishable. A captain of a + trading vessel, of which he was part owner, took in a large freight of + oats at Liverpool, consigned to the market at Bearkey: this he carried to + a port in Hampshire, and there sold it as his own, and, freighting his + vessel with wheat for the port of Cadiz, in Spain, dropped it at Oporto in + his way; and there, selling it for his own use, took in a lading of wine, + with which he sailed again, and, having converted it in the same manner, + together with a large sum of money with which he was intrusted, for the + benefit of certain merchants, sold the ship and cargo in another port, and + then wisely sat down contented with the fortune he had made, and returned + to London to enjoy the remainder of his days, with the fruits of his + former labors and a good conscience. + </p> + <p> + The sum he brought home with him consisted of near six thousand pounds, + all in specie, and most of it in that coin which Portugal distributes so + liberally over Europe. + </p> + <p> + He was not yet old enough to be past all sense of pleasure, nor so puffed + up with the pride of his good fortune as to overlook his old acquaintances + the journeymen tailors, from among whom he had been formerly pressed into + the sea-service, and, having there laid the foundation of his future + success by his shares in prizes, had afterwards become captain of a + trading vessel, in which he purchased an interest, and had soon begun to + trade in the honorable manner above mentioned. The captain now took up his + residence at an ale-house in Drury-lane, where, having all his money by + him in a trunk, he spent about five pounds a day among his old friends the + gentlemen and ladies of those parts. The merchant of Liverpool, having + luckily had notice from a friend during the blaze of his fortune, did, by + the assistance of a justice of peace, without the assistance of the law, + recover his whole loss. The captain, however, wisely chose to refund no + more; but, perceiving with what hasty strides Envy was pursuing his + fortune, he took speedy means to retire out of her reach, and to enjoy the + rest of his wealth in an inglorious obscurity; nor could the same justice + overtake him time enough to assist a second merchant as he had done the + first. + </p> + <p> + This was a very extraordinary case, and the more so as the ingenious + gentleman had steered entirely clear of all crimes in our law. Now, how it + comes about that a robbery so very easy to be committed, and to which + there is such immediate temptation always before the eyes of these + fellows, should receive the encouragement of impunity, is to be accounted + for only from the oversight of the legislature, as that oversight can only + be, I think, derived from the reasons I have assigned for it. + </p> + <p> + But I will dwell no longer on this subject. If what I have here said + should seem of sufficient consequence to engage the attention of any man + in power, and should thus be the means of applying any remedy to the most + inveterate evils, at least, I have obtained my whole desire, and shall + have lain so long wind-bound in the ports of this kingdom to some purpose. + I would, indeed, have this work—which, if I should live to finish + it, a matter of no great certainty, if indeed of any great hope to me, + will be probably the last I shall ever undertake—to produce some + better end than the mere diversion of the reader. + </p> + <p> + Monday.—This day our captain went ashore, to dine with a gentleman + who lives in these parts, and who so exactly resembles the character given + by Homer of Axylus, that the only difference I can trace between them is, + the one, living by the highway, erected his hospitality chiefly in favor + of land-travelers; and the other, living by the water-side, gratified his + humanity by accommodating the wants of the mariner. + </p> + <p> + In the evening our commander received a visit from a brother bashaw, who + lay wind-bound in the same harbor. This latter captain was a Swiss. He was + then master of a vessel bound to Guinea, and had formerly been a + privateering, when our own hero was employed in the same laudable service. + The honesty and freedom of the Switzer, his vivacity, in which he was in + no respect inferior to his near neighbors the French, the awkward and + affected politeness, which was likewise of French extraction, mixed with + the brutal roughness of the English tar—for he had served under the + colors of this nation and his crew had been of the same—made such an + odd variety, such a hotch-potch of character, that I should have been much + diverted with him, had not his voice, which was as loud as a + speaking-trumpet, unfortunately made my head ache. The noise which he + conveyed into the deaf ears of his brother captain, who sat on one side of + him, the soft addresses with which, mixed with awkward bows, he saluted + the ladies on the other, were so agreeably contrasted, that a man must not + only have been void of all taste of humor, and insensible of mirth, but + duller than Cibber is represented in the Dunciad, who could be + unentertained with him a little while; for, I confess, such entertainments + should always be very short, as they are very liable to pall. But he + suffered not this to happen at present; for, having given us his company a + quarter of an hour only, he retired, after many apologies for the + shortness of his visit. + </p> + <p> + Tuesday.—The wind being less boisterous than it had hitherto been + since our arrival here, several fishing-boats, which the tempestuous + weather yesterday had prevented from working, came on board us with fish. + This was so fresh, so good in kind, and so very cheap, that we supplied + ourselves in great numbers, among which were very large soles at fourpence + a pair, and whitings of almost a preposterous size at ninepence a score. + The only fish which bore any price was a john doree, as it is called. I + bought one of at least four pounds weight for as many shillings. It + resembles a turbot in shape, but exceeds it in firmness and flavor. The + price had the appearance of being considerable when opposed to the + extraordinary cheapness of others of value, but was, in truth, so very + reasonable when estimated by its goodness, that it left me under no other + surprise than how the gentlemen of this country, not greatly eminent for + the delicacy of their taste, had discovered the preference of the doree to + all other fish: but I was informed that Mr. Quin, whose distinguishing + tooth hath been so justly celebrated, had lately visited Plymouth, and had + done those honors to the doree which are so justly due to it from that + sect of modern philosophers who, with Sir Epicure Mammon, or Sir Epicure + Quin, their head, seem more to delight in a fish-pond than in a garden, as + the old Epicureans are said to have done. + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately for the fishmongers of London, the doree resides only in + those seas; for, could any of this company but convey one to the temple of + luxury under the Piazza, where Macklin the high-priest daily serves up his + rich offerings to that goddess, great would be the reward of that + fishmonger, in blessings poured down upon him from the goddess, as great + would his merit be towards the high-priest, who could never be thought to + overrate such valuable incense. + </p> + <p> + And here, having mentioned the extreme cheapness of fish in the Devonshire + sea, and given some little hint of the extreme dearness with which this + commodity is dispensed by those who deal in it in London, I cannot pass on + without throwing forth an observation or two, with the same view with + which I have scattered my several remarks through this voyage, + sufficiently satisfied in having finished my life, as I have probably lost + it, in the service of my country, from the best of motives, though it + should be attended with the worst of success. Means are always in our + power; ends are very seldom so. + </p> + <p> + Of all the animal foods with which man is furnished, there are none so + plenty as fish. A little rivulet, that glides almost unperceived through a + vast tract of rich land, will support more hundreds with the flesh of its + inhabitants than the meadow will nourish individuals. But if this be true + of rivers, it is much truer of the sea-shores, which abound with such + immense variety of fish that the curious fisherman, after he hath made his + draught, often culls only the daintiest part and leaves the rest of his + prey to perish on the shore. If this be true it would appear, I think, + that there is nothing which might be had in such abundance, and + consequently so cheap, as fish, of which Nature seems to have provided + such inexhaustible stores with some peculiar design. In the production of + terrestrial animals she proceeds with such slowness, that in the larger + kind a single female seldom produces more than one a-year, and this again + requires three, for, or five years more to bring it to perfection. And + though the lesser quadrupeds, those of the wild kind particularly, with + the birds, do multiply much faster, yet can none of these bear any + proportion with the aquatic animals, of whom every female matrix is + furnished with an annual offspring almost exceeding the power of numbers, + and which, in many instances at least, a single year is capable of + bringing to some degree of maturity. + </p> + <p> + What then ought in general to be so plentiful, what so cheap, as fish? + What then so properly the food of the poor? So in many places they are, + and so might they always be in great cities, which are always situated + near the sea, or on the conflux of large rivers. How comes it then, to + look no farther abroad for instances, that in our city of London the case + is so far otherwise that, except that of sprats, there is not one poor + palate in a hundred that knows the taste of fish? + </p> + <p> + It is true indeed that this taste is generally of such excellent flavor + that it exceeds the power of French cookery to treat the palates of the + rich with anything more exquisitely delicate; so that was fish the common + food of the poor it might put them too much upon an equality with their + betters in the great article of eating, in which, at present, in the + opinion of some, the great difference in happiness between man and man + consists. But this argument I shall treat with the utmost disdain: for if + ortolans were as big as buzzards, and at the same time as plenty as + sparrows, I should hold it yet reasonable to indulge the poor with the + dainty, and that for this cause especially, that the rich would soon find + a sparrow, if as scarce as an ortolan, to be much the greater, as it would + certainly be the rarer, dainty of the two. + </p> + <p> + Vanity or scarcity will be always the favorite of luxury; but honest + hunger will be satisfied with plenty. Not to search deeper into the cause + of the evil, I should think it abundantly sufficient to propose the + remedies of it. And, first, I humbly submit the absolute necessity of + immediately hanging all the fishmongers within the bills of mortality; + and, however it might have been some time ago the opinion of mild and + temporizing men that the evil complained of might be removed by gentler + methods, I suppose at this day there are none who do not see the + impossibility of using such with any effect. Cuncta prius tentanda might + have been formerly urged with some plausibility, but cuncta prius tentata + may now be replied: for surely, if a few monopolizing fishmongers could + defeat that excellent scheme of the Westminster market, to the erecting + which so many justices of peace, as well as other wise and learned men, + did so vehemently apply themselves, that they might be truly said not only + to have laid the whole strength of their heads, but of their shoulders + too, to the business, it would be a vain endeavor for any other body of + men to attempt to remove so stubborn a nuisance. + </p> + <p> + If it should be doubted whether we can bring this case within the letter + of any capital law now subsisting, I am ashamed to own it cannot; for + surely no crime better deserves such punishment; but the remedy may, + nevertheless, be immediate; and if a law was made at the beginning of next + session, to take place immediately, by which the starving thousands of + poor was declared to be felony, without benefit of clergy, the fishmongers + would be hanged before the end of the session. A second method of filling + the mouths of the poor, if not with loaves at least with fishes, is to + desire the magistrates to carry into execution one at least out of near a + hundred acts of parliament, for preserving the small fry of the river of + Thames, by which means as few fish would satisfy thousands as may now be + devoured by a small number of individuals. But while a fisherman can break + through the strongest meshes of an act of parliament, we may be assured he + will learn so to contrive his own meshes that the smallest fry will not be + able to swim through them. + </p> + <p> + Other methods may, we doubt not, he suggested by those who shall + attentively consider the evil here hinted at; but we have dwelt too long + on it already, and shall conclude with observing that it is difficult to + affirm whether the atrocity of the evil itself, the facility of curing it, + or the shameful neglect of the cure, be the more scandalous or more + astonishing. + </p> + <p> + After having, however, gloriously regaled myself with this food, I was + washing it down with some good claret with my wife and her friend, in the + cabin, when the captain's valet-de-chambre, head cook, house and ship + steward, footman in livery and out on't, secretary and fore-mast man, all + burst into the cabin at once, being, indeed, all but one person, and, + without saying, by your leave, began to pack half a hogshead of small beer + in bottles, the necessary consequence of which must have been either a + total stop to conversation at that cheerful season when it is most + agreeable, or the admitting that polyonymous officer aforesaid to the + participation of it. I desired him therefore to delay his purpose a little + longer, but he refused to grant my request; nor was he prevailed on to + quit the room till he was threatened with having one bottle to pack more + than his number, which then happened to stand empty within my reach. With + these menaces he retired at last, but not without muttering some menaces + on his side, and which, to our great terror, he failed not to put into + immediate execution. + </p> + <p> + Our captain was gone to dinner this day with his Swiss brother; and, + though he was a very sober man, was a little elevated with some champagne, + which, as it cost the Swiss little or nothing, he dispensed at his table + more liberally than our hospitable English noblemen put about those + bottles, which the ingenious Peter Taylor teaches a led captain to avoid + by distinguishing by the name of that generous liquor, which all humble + companions are taught to postpone to the flavor of methuen, or honest + port. + </p> + <p> + While our two captains were thus regaling themselves, and celebrating + their own heroic exploits with all the inspiration which the liquor, at + least, of wit could afford them, the polyonymous officer arrived, and, + being saluted by the name of Honest Tom, was ordered to sit down and take + his glass before he delivered his message; for every sailor is by turns + his captain's mate over a cann, except only that captain bashaw who + presides in a man-of-war, and who upon earth has no other mate, unless it + be another of the same bashaws. Tom had no sooner swallowed his draught + than he hastily began his narrative, and faithfully related what had + happened on board our ship; we say faithfully, though from what happened + it may be suspected that Tom chose to add perhaps only five or six + immaterial circumstances, as is always I believe the case, and may + possibly have been done by me in relating this very story, though it + happened not many hours ago. + </p> + <p> + No sooner was the captain informed of the interruption which had been + given to his officer, and indeed to his orders, for he thought no time so + convenient as that of his absence for causing any confusion in the cabin, + than he leaped with such haste from his chair that he had like to have + broke his sword, with which he always begirt himself when he walked out of + his ship, and sometimes when he walked about in it; at the same time, + grasping eagerly that other implement called a cockade, which modern + soldiers wear on their helmets with the same view as the ancients did + their crests—to terrify the enemy he muttered something, but so + inarticulately that the word DAMN was only intelligible; he then hastily + took leave of the Swiss captain, who was too well bred to press his stay + on such an occasion, and leaped first from the ship to his boat, and then + from his boat to his own ship, with as much fierceness in his looks as he + had ever expressed on boarding his defenseless prey in the honorable + calling of a privateer. Having regained the middle deck, he paused a + moment while Tom and others loaded themselves with bottles, and then + descending into the cabin exclaimed with a thundering voice, "D—n + me, why arn't the bottles stowed in, according to my orders?" + </p> + <p> + I answered him very mildly that I had prevented his man from doing it, as + it was at an inconvenient time to me, and as in his absence, at least, I + esteemed the cabin to be my own. "Your cabin!" repeated he many times; + "no, d—n me! 'tis my cabin. Your cabin! d—n me! I have brought + my hogs to a fair market. I suppose indeed you think it your cabin, and + your ship, by your commanding in it; but I will command in it, d—n + me! I will show the world I am the commander, and nobody but I! Did you + think I sold you the command of my ship for that pitiful thirty pounds? I + wish I had not seen you nor your thirty pounds aboard of her." He then + repeated the words thirty pounds often, with great disdain, and with a + contempt which I own the sum did not seem to deserve in my eye, either in + itself or on the present occasion; being, indeed, paid for the freight of + —— weight of human flesh, which is above fifty per cent dearer + than the freight of any other luggage, whilst in reality it takes up less + room; in fact, no room at all. + </p> + <p> + In truth, the sum was paid for nothing more than for a liberty to six + persons (two of them servants) to stay on board a ship while she sails + from one port to another, every shilling of which comes clear into the + captain's pocket. Ignorant people may perhaps imagine, especially when + they are told that the captain is obliged to sustain them, that their diet + at least is worth something, which may probably be now and then so far the + case as to deduct a tenth part from the net profits on this account; but + it was otherwise at present; for when I had contracted with the captain at + a price which I by no means thought moderate, I had some content in + thinking I should have no more to pay for my voyage; but I was whispered + that it was expected the passengers should find themselves in several + things; such as tea, wine, and such like; and particularly that gentlemen + should stow of the latter a much larger quantity than they could use, in + order to leave the remainder as a present to the captain at the end of the + voyage; and it was expected likewise that gentlemen should put aboard some + fresh stores, and the more of such things were put aboard the welcomer + they would be to the captain. + </p> + <p> + I was prevailed with by these hints to follow the advice proposed; and + accordingly, besides tea and a large hamper of wine, with several hams and + tongues, I caused a number of live chickens and sheep to be conveyed + aboard; in truth, treble the quantity of provisions which would have + supported the persons I took with me, had the voyage continued three + weeks, as it was supposed, with a bare possibility, it might. + </p> + <p> + Indeed it continued much longer; but as this was occasioned by our being + wind-bound in our own ports, it was by no means of any ill consequence to + the captain, as the additional stores of fish, fresh meat, butter, bread, + &c., which I constantly laid in, greatly exceeded the consumption, and + went some way in maintaining the ship's crew. It is true I was not obliged + to do this; but it seemed to be expected; for the captain did not think + himself obliged to do it, and I can truly say I soon ceased to expect it + of him. He had, I confess, on board a number of fowls and ducks sufficient + for a West India voyage; all of them, as he often said, "Very fine birds, + and of the largest breed." This I believe was really the fact, and I can + add that they were all arrived at the full perfection of their size. Nor + was there, I am convinced, any want of provisions of a more substantial + kind; such as dried beef, pork, and fish; so that the captain seemed ready + to perform his contract, and amply to provide for his passengers. What I + did then was not from necessity, but, perhaps, from a less excusable + motive, and was by no means chargeable to the account of the captain. + </p> + <p> + But, let the motive have been what it would, the consequence was still the + same; and this was such that I am firmly persuaded the whole pitiful + thirty pounds came pure and neat into the captain's pocket, and not only + so, but attended with the value of ten pound more in sundries into the + bargain. I must confess myself therefore at a loss how the epithet PITIFUL + came to be annexed to the above sum; for, not being a pitiful price for + what it was given, I cannot conceive it to be pitiful in itself; nor do I + believe it is thought by the greatest men in the kingdom; none of whom + would scruple to search for it in the dirtiest kennel, where they had only + a reasonable hope of success. How, therefore, such a sum should acquire + the idea of pitiful in the eyes of the master of a ship seems not easy to + be accounted for; since it appears more likely to produce in him ideas of + a different kind. Some men, perhaps, are no more sincere in the contempt + for it which they express than others in their contempt of money in + general; and I am the rather inclined to this persuasion, as I have seldom + heard of either who have refused or refunded this their despised object. + Besides, it is sometimes impossible to believe these professions, as every + action of the man's life is a contradiction to it. Who can believe a + tradesman who says he would not tell his name for the profit he gets by + the selling such a parcel of goods, when he hath told a thousand lies in + order to get it? Pitiful, indeed, is often applied to an object not + absolutely, but comparatively with our expectations, or with a greater + object: in which sense it is not easy to set any bounds to the use of the + word. Thus, a handful of halfpence daily appear pitiful to a porter, and a + handful of silver to a drawer. The latter, I am convinced, at a polite + tavern, will not tell his name (for he will not give you any answer) under + the price of gold. And in this sense thirty pound may be accounted pitiful + by the lowest mechanic. + </p> + <p> + One difficulty only seems to occur, and that is this: how comes it that, + if the profits of the meanest arts are so considerable, the professors of + them are not richer than we generally see them? One answer to this shall + suffice. Men do not become rich by what they get, but by what they keep. + He who is worth no more than his annual wages or salary, spends the whole; + he will be always a beggar let his income be what it will, and so will be + his family when he dies. This we see daily to be the case of + ecclesiastics, who, during their lives, are extremely well provided for, + only because they desire to maintain the honor of the cloth by living like + gentlemen, which would, perhaps, be better maintained by living unlike + them. + </p> + <p> + But, to return from so long a digression, to which the use of so improper + an epithet gave occasion, and to which the novelty of the subject allured, + I will make the reader amends by concisely telling him that the captain + poured forth such a torrent of abuse that I very hastily and very + foolishly resolved to quit the ship. + </p> + <p> + I gave immediate orders to summon a hoy to carry me that evening to + Dartmouth, without considering any consequence. Those orders I gave in no + very low voice, so that those above stairs might possibly conceive there + was more than one master in the cabin. In the same tone I likewise + threatened the captain with that which, he afterwards said, he feared more + than any rock or quicksand. Nor can we wonder at this when we are told he + had been twice obliged to bring to and cast anchor there before, and had + neither time escaped without the loss of almost his whole cargo. + </p> + <p> + The most distant sound of law thus frightened a man who had often, I am + convinced, heard numbers of cannon roar round him with intrepidity. Nor + did he sooner see the hoy approaching the vessel than he ran down again + into the cabin, and, his rage being perfectly subsided, he tumbled on his + knees, and a little too abjectly implored for mercy. + </p> + <p> + I did not suffer a brave man and an old man to remain a moment in this + posture, but I immediately forgave him. + </p> + <p> + And here, that I may not be thought the sly trumpeter of my own praises, I + do utterly disclaim all praise on the occasion. Neither did the greatness + of my mind dictate, nor the force of my Christianity exact, this + forgiveness. To speak truth, I forgave him from a motive which would make + men much more forgiving if they were much wiser than they are, because it + was convenient for me so to do. + </p> + <p> + Wednesday.—This morning the captain dressed himself in scarlet in + order to pay a visit to a Devonshire squire, to whom a captain of a ship + is a guest of no ordinary consequence, as he is a stranger and a + gentleman, who hath seen a great deal of the world in foreign parts, and + knows all the news of the times. + </p> + <p> + The squire, therefore, was to send his boat for the captain, but a most + unfortunate accident happened; for, as the wind was extremely rough and + against the hoy, while this was endeavoring to avail itself of great + seamanship in hauling up against the wind, a sudden squall carried off + sail and yard, or at least so disabled them that they were no longer of + any use and unable to reach the ship; but the captain, from the deck, saw + his hopes of venison disappointed, and was forced either to stay on board + his ship, or to hoist forth his own long-boat, which he could not prevail + with himself to think of, though the smell of the venison had had twenty + times its attraction. He did, indeed, love his ship as his wife, and his + boats as children, and never willingly trusted the latter, poor things! to + the dangers of the sea. + </p> + <p> + To say truth, notwithstanding the strict rigor with which he preserved the + dignity of his stations and the hasty impatience with which he resented + any affront to his person or orders, disobedience to which he could in no + instance brook in any person on board, he was one of the best natured + fellows alive. He acted the part of a father to his sailors; he expressed + great tenderness for any of them when ill, and never suffered any the + least work of supererogation to go unrewarded by a glass of gin. He even + extended his humanity, if I may so call it, to animals, and even his cats + and kittens had large shares in his affections. + </p> + <p> + An instance of which we saw this evening, when the cat, which had shown it + could not be drowned, was found suffocated under a feather-bed in the + cabin. I will not endeavor to describe his lamentations with more + prolixity than barely by saying they were grievous, and seemed to have + some mixture of the Irish howl in them. Nay, he carried his fondness even + to inanimate objects, of which we have above set down a pregnant example + in his demonstration of love and tenderness towards his boats and ship. He + spoke of a ship which he had commanded formerly, and which was long since + no more, which he had called the Princess of Brazil, as a widower of a + deceased wife. This ship, after having followed the honest business of + carrying goods and passengers for hire many years, did at last take to + evil courses and turn privateer, in which service, to use his own words, + she received many dreadful wounds, which he himself had felt as if they + had been his own. + </p> + <p> + Thursday.—As the wind did not yesterday discover any purpose of + shifting, and the water in my belly grew troublesome and rendered me + short-breathed, I began a second time to have apprehensions of wanting the + assistance of a trochar when none was to be found; I therefore concluded + to be tapped again by way of precaution, and accordingly I this morning + summoned on board a surgeon from a neighboring parish, one whom the + captain greatly recommended, and who did indeed perform his office with + much dexterity. He was, I believe, likewise a man of great judgment and + knowledge in the profession; but of this I cannot speak with perfect + certainty, for, when he was going to open on the dropsy at large and on + the particular degree of the distemper under which I labored, I was + obliged to stop him short, for the wind was changed, and the captain in + the utmost hurry to depart; and to desire him, instead of his opinion, to + assist me with his execution. I was now once more delivered from my + burden, which was not indeed so great as I had apprehended, wanting two + quarts of what was let out at the last operation. + </p> + <p> + While the surgeon was drawing away my water the sailors were drawing up + the anchor; both were finished at the same time; we unfurled our sails and + soon passed the Berry-head, which forms the mouth of the bay. + </p> + <p> + We had not however sailed far when the wind, which, had though with a slow + pace, kept us company about six miles, suddenly turned about, and offered + to conduct us back again; a favor which, though sorely against the grain, + we were obliged to accept. + </p> + <p> + Nothing remarkable happened this day; for as to the firm persuasion of the + captain that he was under the spell of witchcraft, I would not repeat it + too often, though indeed he repeated it an hundred times every day; in + truth, he talked of nothing else, and seemed not only to be satisfied in + general of his being bewitched, but actually to have fixed with good + certainty on the person of the witch, whom, had he lived in the days of + Sir Matthew Hale, he would have infallibly indicted, and very possibly + have hanged, for the detestable sin of witchcraft; but that law, and the + whole doctrine that supported it, are now out of fashion; and witches, as + a learned divine once chose to express himself, are put down by act of + parliament. This witch, in the captain's opinion, was no other than Mrs. + Francis of Ryde, who, as he insinuated, out of anger to me for not + spending more money in her house than she could produce anything to + exchange for, or ally pretense to charge for, had laid this spell on his + ship. + </p> + <p> + Though we were again got near our harbor by three in the afternoon, yet it + seemed to require a full hour or more before we could come to our former + place of anchoring, or berth, as the captain called it. On this occasion + we exemplified one of the few advantages which the travelers by water have + over the travelers by land. What would the latter often give for the sight + of one of those hospitable mansions where he is assured THAT THERE IS GOOD + ENTERTAINMENT FOR MAN AND HORSE; and where both may consequently promise + themselves to assuage that hunger which exercise is so sure to raise in a + healthy constitution. + </p> + <p> + At their arrival at this mansion how much happier is the state of the + horse than that of the master! The former is immediately led to his + repast, such as it is, and, whatever it is, he falls to it with appetite. + But the latter is in a much worse situation. His hunger, however violent, + is always in some degree delicate, and his food must have some kind of + ornament, or, as the more usual phrase is, of dressing, to recommend it. + Now all dressing requires time, and therefore, though perhaps the sheep + might be just killed before you came to the inn, yet in cutting him up, + fetching the joint, which the landlord by mistake said he had in the + house, from the butcher at two miles' distance, and afterwards warming it + a little by the fire, two hours at least must be consumed, while hunger, + for want of better food, preys all the time on the vitals of the man. + </p> + <p> + How different was the case with us! we carried our provision, our kitchen, + and our cook with us, and we were at one and the same time traveling on + our road, and sitting down to a repast of fish, with which the greatest + table in London can scarce at any rate be supplied. + </p> + <p> + Friday.—As we were disappointed of our wind, and obliged to return + back the preceding evening, we resolved to extract all the good we could + out of our misfortune, and to add considerably to our fresh stores of meat + and bread, with which we were very indifferently provided when we hurried + away yesterday. By the captain's advice we likewise laid in some stores of + butter, which we salted and potted ourselves, for our use at Lisbon, and + we had great reason afterwards to thank him for his advice. + </p> + <p> + In the afternoon I persuaded my wife whom it was no easy matter for me to + force from my side, to take a walk on shore, whither the gallant captain + declared he was ready to attend her. Accordingly the ladies set out, and + left me to enjoy a sweet and comfortable nap after the operation of the + preceding day. + </p> + <p> + Thus we enjoyed our separate pleasures full three hours, when we met + again, and my wife gave the foregoing account of the gentleman whom I have + before compared to Axylus, and of his habitation, to both which she had + been introduced by the captain, in the style of an old friend and + acquaintance, though this foundation of intimacy seemed to her to be no + deeper laid than in an accidental dinner, eaten many years before, at this + temple of hospitality, when the captain lay wind-bound in the same bay. + </p> + <p> + Saturday.—Early this morning the wind seemed inclined to change in + our favor. Our alert captain snatched its very first motion, and got under + sail with so very gentle a breeze that, as the tide was against him, he + recommended to a fishing boy to bring after him a vast salmon and some + other provisions which lay ready for him on shore. + </p> + <p> + Our anchor was up at six, and before nine in the morning we had doubled + the Berry-head, and were arrived off Dartmouth, having gone full three + miles in as many hours, in direct opposition to the tide, which only + befriended us out of our harbor; and though the wind was perhaps our + friend, it was so very silent, and exerted itself so little in our favor, + that, like some cool partisans, it was difficult to say whether it was + with us or against us. The captain, however, declared the former to be the + case during the whole three hours; but at last he perceived his error, or + rather, perhaps, this friend, which had hitherto wavered in choosing his + side, became now more determined. The captain then suddenly tacked about, + and, asserting that he was bewitched, submitted to return to the place + from whence he came. Now, though I am as free from superstition as any man + breathing, and never did believe in witches, notwithstanding all the + excellent arguments of my lord chief-justice Hale in their favor, and long + before they were put down by act of parliament, yet by what power a ship + of burden should sail three miles against both wind and tide, I cannot + conceive, unless there was some supernatural interposition in the case; + nay, could we admit that the wind stood neuter, the difficulty would still + remain. So that we must of necessity conclude that the ship was either + bewinded or bewitched. The captain, perhaps, had another meaning. He + imagined himself, I believe, bewitched, because the wind, instead of + persevering in its change in his favor, for change it certainly did that + morning, should suddenly return to its favorite station, and blow him back + towards the bay. But, if this was his opinion, he soon saw cause to alter; + for he had not measured half the way back when the wind again declared in + his favor, and so loudly, that there was no possibility of being mistaken. + The orders for the second tack were given, and obeyed with much more + alacrity than those had been for the first. We were all of us indeed in + high spirits on the occasion; though some of us a little regretted the + good things we were likely to leave behind us by the fisherman's neglect; + I might give it a worse name, for he faithfully promised to execute the + commission, which he had had abundant opportunity to do; but nautica fides + deserves as much to be proverbial as ever Punica fides could formerly have + done. Nay, when we consider that the Carthaginians came from the + Phoenicians who are supposed to have produced the first mariners, we may + probably see the true reason of the adage, and it may open a field of very + curious discoveries to the antiquarian. + </p> + <p> + We were, however, too eager to pursue our voyage to suffer anything we + left behind us to interrupt our happiness, which, indeed, many agreeable + circumstances conspired to advance. The weather was inexpressibly + pleasant, and we were all seated on the deck, when our canvas began to + swell with the wind. We had likewise in our view above thirty other sail + around us, all in the same situation. Here an observation occurred to me, + which, perhaps, though extremely obvious, did not offer itself to every + individual in our little fleet: when I perceived with what different + success we proceeded under the influence of a superior power which, while + we lay almost idle ourselves, pushed us forward on our intended voyage, + and compared this with the slow progress which we had made in the morning, + of ourselves, and without any such assistance, I could not help reflecting + how often the greatest abilities lie wind-bound as it were in life; or, if + they venture out and attempt to beat the seas, they struggle in vain + against wind and tide, and, if they have not sufficient prudence to put + back, are most probably cast away on the rocks and quicksands which are + every day ready to devour them. + </p> + <p> + It was now our fortune to set out melioribus avibus. The wind freshened so + briskly in our poop that the shore appeared to move from us as fast as we + did from the shore. The captain declared he was sure of a wind, meaning + its continuance; but he had disappointed us so often that he had lost all + credit. However, he kept his word a little better now, and we lost sight + of our native land as joyfully, at least, as it is usual to regain it. + </p> + <p> + Sunday.—The next morning the captain told me he thought himself + thirty miles to the westward of Plymouth, and before evening declared that + the Lizard Point, which is the extremity of Cornwall, bore several leagues + to leeward. Nothing remarkable passed this day, except the captain's + devotion, who, in his own phrase, summoned all hands to prayers, which + were read by a common sailor upon deck, with more devout force and address + than they are commonly read by a country curate, and received with more + decency and attention by the sailors than are usually preserved in city + congregations. I am indeed assured, that if any such affected disregard of + the solemn office in which they were engaged, as I have seen practiced by + fine gentlemen and ladies, expressing a kind of apprehension lest they + should be suspected of being really in earnest in their devotion, had been + shown here, they would have contracted the contempt of the whole audience. + To say the truth, from what I observed in the behavior of the sailors in + this voyage, and on comparing it with what I have formerly seen of them at + sea and on shore, I am convinced that on land there is nothing more idle + and dissolute; in their own element there are no persons near the level of + their degree who live in the constant practice of half so many good + qualities. + </p> + <p> + They are, for much the greater part, perfect masters of their business, + and always extremely alert, and ready in executing it, without any regard + to fatigue or hazard. The soldiers themselves are not better disciplined + nor more obedient to orders than these whilst aboard; they submit to every + difficulty which attends their calling with cheerfulness, and no less + virtues and patience and fortitude are exercised by them every day of + their lives. All these good qualities, however, they always leave behind + them on shipboard; the sailor out of water is, indeed, as wretched an + animal as the fish out of water; for though the former hath, in common + with amphibious animals, the bare power of existing on the land, yet if he + be kept there any time he never fails to become a nuisance. The ship + having had a good deal of motion since she was last under sail, our women + returned to their sickness, and I to my solitude; having, for twenty-four + hours together, scarce opened my lips to a single person. This + circumstance of being shut up within the circumference of a few yards, + with a score of human creatures, with not one of whom it was possible to + converse, was perhaps so rare as scarce ever to have happened before, nor + could it ever happen to one who disliked it more than myself, or to myself + at a season when I wanted more food for my social disposition, or could + converse less wholesomely and happily with my own thoughts. To this + accident, which fortune opened to me in the Downs, was owing the first + serious thought which I ever entertained of enrolling myself among the + voyage-writers; some of the most amusing pages, if, indeed, there be any + which deserve that name, were possibly the production of the most + disagreeable hours which ever haunted the author. + </p> + <p> + Monday.—At noon the captain took an observation, by which it + appeared that Ushant bore some leagues northward of us, and that we were + just entering the bay of Biscay. We had advanced a very few miles in this + bay before we were entirely becalmed: we furled our sails, as being of no + use to us while we lay in this most disagreeable situation, more detested + by the sailors than the most violent tempest: we were alarmed with the + loss of a fine piece of salt beef, which had been hung in the sea to + freshen it; this being, it seems, the strange property of salt-water. The + thief was immediately suspected, and presently afterwards taken by the + sailors. He was, indeed, no other than a huge shark, who, not knowing when + he was well off, swallowed another piece of beef, together with a great + iron crook on which it was hung, and by which he was dragged into the + ship. I should scarce have mentioned the catching this shark, though so + exactly conformable to the rules and practice of voyage-writing, had it + not been for a strange circumstance that attended it. This was the + recovery of the stolen beef out of the shark's maw, where it lay unchewed + and undigested, and whence, being conveyed into the pot, the flesh, and + the thief that had stolen it, joined together in furnishing variety to the + ship's crew. + </p> + <p> + During this calm we likewise found the mast of a large vessel, which the + captain thought had lain at least three years in the sea. It was stuck all + over with a little shell-fish or reptile, called a barnacle, and which + probably are the prey of the rockfish, as our captain calls it, asserting + that it is the finest fish in the world; for which we are obliged to + confide entirely to his taste; for, though he struck the fish with a kind + of harping-iron, and wounded him, I am convinced, to death, yet he could + not possess himself of his body; but the poor wretch escaped to linger out + a few hours with probably great torments. + </p> + <p> + In the evening our wind returned, and so briskly, that we ran upwards of + twenty leagues before the next day's [Tuesday's] observation, which + brought us to lat. 47 degrees 42'. The captain promised us a very speedy + passage through the bay; but he deceived us, or the wind deceived him, for + it so slackened at sunset, that it scarce carried us a mile in an hour + during the whole succeeding night. + </p> + <p> + Wednesday.—A gale struck up a little after sunrising, which carried + us between three and four knots or miles an hour. We were this day at noon + about the middle of the bay of Biscay, when the wind once more deserted + us, and we were so entirely becalmed, that we did not advance a mile in + many hours. My fresh-water reader will perhaps conceive no unpleasant idea + from this calm; but it affected us much more than a storm could have done; + for, as the irascible passions of men are apt to swell with indignation + long after the injury which first raised them is over, so fared it with + the sea. It rose mountains high, and lifted our poor ship up and down, + backwards and forwards, with so violent an emotion, that there was scarce + a man in the ship better able to stand than myself. Every utensil in our + cabin rolled up and down, as we should have rolled ourselves, had not our + chairs been fast lashed to the floor. In this situation, with our tables + likewise fastened by ropes, the captain and myself took our meal with some + difficulty, and swallowed a little of our broth, for we spilt much the + greater part. The remainder of our dinner being an old, lean, tame duck + roasted, I regretted but little the loss of, my teeth not being good + enough to have chewed it. + </p> + <p> + Our women, who began to creep out of their holes in the morning, retired + again within the cabin to their beds, and were no more heard of this day, + in which my whole comfort was to find by the captain's relation that the + swelling was sometimes much worse; he did, indeed, take this occasion to + be more communicative than ever, and informed me of such misadventures + that had befallen him within forty-six years at sea as might frighten a + very bold spirit from undertaking even the shortest voyage. Were these, + indeed, but universally known, our matrons of quality would possibly be + deterred from venturing their tender offspring at sea; by which means our + navy would lose the honor of many a young commodore, who at twenty-two is + better versed in maritime affairs than real seamen are made by experience + at sixty. And this may, perhaps, appear the more extraordinary, as the + education of both seems to be pretty much the same; neither of them having + had their courage tried by Virgil's description of a storm, in which, + inspired as he was, I doubt whether our captain doth not exceed him. In + the evening the wind, which continued in the N.W., again freshened, and + that so briskly that Cape Finisterre appeared by this day's observation to + bear a few miles to the southward. We now indeed sailed, or rather flew, + near ten knots an hour; and the captain, in the redundancy of his + good-humor, declared he would go to church at Lisbon on Sunday next, for + that he was sure of a wind; and, indeed, we all firmly believed him. But + the event again contradicted him; for we were again visited by a calm in + the evening. + </p> + <p> + But here, though our voyage was retarded, we were entertained with a + scene, which as no one can behold without going to sea, so no one can form + an idea of anything equal to it on shore. We were seated on the deck, + women and all, in the serenest evening that can be imagined. Not a single + cloud presented itself to our view, and the sun himself was the only + object which engrossed our whole attention. He did indeed set with a + majesty which is incapable of description, with which, while the horizon + was yet blazing with glory, our eyes were called off to the opposite part + to survey the moon, which was then at full, and which in rising presented + us with the second object that this world hath offered to our vision. + Compared to these the pageantry of theaters, or splendor of courts, are + sights almost below the regard of children. We did not return from the + deck till late in the evening; the weather being inexpressibly pleasant, + and so warm that even my old distemper perceived the alteration of the + climate. There was indeed a swell, but nothing comparable to what we had + felt before, and it affected us on the deck much less than in the cabin. + </p> + <p> + Friday.—The calm continued till sun-rising, when the wind likewise + arose, but unluckily for us it came from a wrong quarter; it was S.S.E., + which is that very wind which Juno would have solicited of Aeolus, had + Gneas been in our latitude bound for Lisbon. + </p> + <p> + The captain now put on his most melancholy aspect, and resumed his former + opinion that he was bewitched. He declared with great solemnity that this + was worse and worse, for that a wind directly in his teeth was worse than + no wind at all. Had we pursued the course which the wind persuaded us to + take we had gone directly for Newfoundland, if we had not fallen in with + Ireland in our way. Two ways remained to avoid this; one was to put into a + port of Galicia; the other, to beat to the westward with as little sail as + possible: and this was our captain's election. + </p> + <p> + As for us, poor passengers, any port would have been welcome to us; + especially, as not only our fresh provisions, except a great number of old + ducks and fowls, but even our bread was come to an end, and nothing but + sea-biscuit remained, which I could not chew. So that now for the first + time in my life I saw what it was to want a bit of bread. + </p> + <p> + The wind however was not so unkind as we had apprehended; but, having + declined with the sun, it changed at the approach of the moon, and became + again favorable to us, though so gentle that the next day's observation + carried us very little to the southward of Cape Finisterre. This evening + at six the wind, which had been very quiet all day, rose very high, and + continuing in our favor drove us seven knots an hour. + </p> + <p> + This day we saw a sail, the only one, as I heard of, we had seen in our + whole passage through the bay. I mention this on account of what appeared + to me somewhat extraordinary. Though she was at such a distance that I + could only perceive she was a ship, the sailors discovered that she was a + snow, bound to a port in Galicia. + </p> + <p> + Sunday.—After prayers, which our good captain read on the deck with + an audible voice, and with but one mistake, of a lion for Elias, in the + second lesson for this day, we found ourselves far advanced in 42 degrees, + and the captain declared we should sup off Porte. We had not much wind + this day; but, as this was directly in our favor, we made it up with sail, + of which we crowded all we had. We went only at the rate of four miles an + hour, but with so uneasy a motion, continuing rolling from side to side, + that I suffered more than I had done in our whole voyage; my bowels being + almost twisted out of my belly. However, the day was very serene and + bright, and the captain, who was in high spirits, affirmed he had never + passed a pleasanter at sea. + </p> + <p> + The wind continued so brisk that we ran upward of six knots an hour the + whole night. + </p> + <p> + Monday.—In the morning our captain concluded that he was got into + lat. 40 degrees, and was very little short of the Burlings, as they are + called in the charts. We came up with them at five in the afternoon, being + the first land we had distinctly seen since we left Devonshire. They + consist of abundance of little rocky islands, a little distant from the + shore, three of them only showing themselves above the water. + </p> + <p> + Here the Portuguese maintain a kind of garrison, if we may allow it that + name. It consists of malefactors, who are banished hither for a term, for + divers small offenses—a policy which they may have copied from the + Egyptians, as we may read in Diodorus Siculus. That wise people, to + prevent the corruption of good manners by evil communication, built a town + on the Red Sea, whither they transported a great number of their + criminals, having first set an indelible mark on them, to prevent their + returning and mixing with the sober part of their citizens. These rocks + lie about fifteen leagues northwest of Cape Roxent, or, as it is commonly + called, the Rock of Lisbon, which we passed early the next morning. The + wind, indeed, would have carried us thither sooner; but the captain was + not in a hurry, as he was to lose nothing by his delay. + </p> + <p> + Tuesday.—This is a very high mountain, situated on the northern side + of the mouth of the river Tajo, which, rising about Madrid, in Spain, and + soon becoming navigable for small craft, empties itself, after a long + course, into the sea, about four leagues below Lisbon. + </p> + <p> + On the summit of the rock stands a hermitage, which is now in the + possession of an Englishman, who was formerly master of a vessel trading + to Lisbon; and, having changed his religion and his manners, the latter of + which, at least, were none of the best, betook himself to this place, in + order to do penance for his sins. He is now very old, and hath inhabited + this hermitage for a great number of years, during which he hath received + some countenance from the royal family, and particularly from the present + queen dowager, whose piety refuses no trouble or expense by which she may + make a proselyte, being used to say that the saving one soul would repay + all the endeavors of her life. Here we waited for the tide, and had the + pleasure of surveying the face of the country, the soil of which, at this + season, exactly resembles an old brick-kiln, or a field where the green + sward is pared up and set a-burning, or rather a smoking, in little heaps + to manure the land. This sight will, perhaps, of all others, make an + Englishman proud of, and pleased with, his own country, which in verdure + excels, I believe, every other country. Another deficiency here is the + want of large trees, nothing above a shrub being here to be discovered in + the circumference of many miles. + </p> + <p> + At this place we took a pilot on board, who, being the first Portuguese we + spoke to, gave us an instance of that religious observance which is paid + by all nations to their laws; for, whereas it is here a capital offense to + assist any person in going on shore from a foreign vessel before it hath + been examined, and every person in it viewed by the magistrates of health, + as they are called, this worthy pilot, for a very small reward, rowed the + Portuguese priest to shore at this place, beyond which he did not dare to + advance, and in venturing whither he had given sufficient testimony of + love for his native country. + </p> + <p> + We did not enter the Tajo till noon, when, after passing several old + castles and other buildings which had greatly the aspect of ruins, we came + to the castle of Bellisle, where we had a full prospect of Lisbon, and + were, indeed, within three miles of it. + </p> + <p> + Here we were saluted with a gun, which was a signal to pass no farther + till we had complied with certain ceremonies which the laws of this + country require to be observed by all ships which arrive in this port. We + were obliged then to cast anchor, and expect the arrival of the officers + of the customs, without whose passport no ship must proceed farther than + this place. + </p> + <p> + Here likewise we received a visit from one of those magistrates of health + before mentioned. He refused to come on board the ship till every person + in her had been drawn up on deck and personally viewed by him. This + occasioned some delay on my part, as it was not the work of a minute to + lift me from the cabin to the deck. The captain thought my particular case + might have been excused from this ceremony, and that it would be + abundantly sufficient if the magistrate, who was obliged afterwards to + visit the cabin, surveyed me there. But this did not satisfy the + magistrate's strict regard to his duty. When he was told of my lameness, + he called out, with a voice of authority, "Let him be brought up," and his + orders were presently complied with. He was, indeed, a person of great + dignity, as well as of the most exact fidelity in the discharge of his + trust. Both which are the more admirable as his salary is less than thirty + pounds English per annum. + </p> + <p> + Before a ship hath been visited by one of those magistrates no person can + lawfully go on board her, nor can any on board depart from her. This I saw + exemplified in a remarkable instance. The young lad whom I have mentioned + as one of our passengers was here met by his father, who, on the first + news of the captain's arrival, came from Lisbon to Bellisle in a boat, + being eager to embrace a son whom he had not seen for many years. But when + he came alongside our ship neither did the father dare ascend nor the son + descend, as the magistrate of health had not yet been on board. Some of + our readers will, perhaps, admire the great caution of this policy, so + nicely calculated for the preservation of this country from all + pestilential distempers. Others will as probably regard it as too exact + and formal to be constantly persisted in, in seasons of the utmost safety, + as well as in times of danger. I will not decide either way, but will + content myself with observing that I never yet saw or heard of a place + where a traveler had so much trouble given him at his landing as here. The + only use of which, as all such matters begin and end in form only, is to + put it into the power of low and mean fellows to be either rudely + officious or grossly corrupt, as they shall see occasion to prefer the + gratification of their pride or of their avarice. + </p> + <p> + Of this kind, likewise, is that power which is lodged with other officers + here, of taking away every grain of snuff and every leaf of tobacco + brought hither from other countries, though only for the temporary use of + the person during his residence here. This is executed with great + insolence, and, as it is in the hands of the dregs of the people, very + scandalously; for, under pretense of searching for tobacco and snuff, they + are sure to steal whatever they can find, insomuch that when they came on + board our sailors addressed us in the Covent-garden language: "Pray, + gentlemen and ladies, take care of your swords and watches." Indeed, I + never yet saw anything equal to the contempt and hatred which our honest + tars every moment expressed for these Portuguese officers. + </p> + <p> + At Bellisle lies buried Catharine of Arragon, widow of prince Arthur, + eldest son of our Henry VII, afterwards married to, and divorced from + Henry VIII. Close by the church where her remains are deposited is a large + convent of Geronymites, one of the most beautiful piles of building in all + Portugal. + </p> + <p> + In the evening, at twelve, our ship, having received previous visits from + all the necessary parties, took the advantage of the tide, and having + sailed up to Lisbon cast anchor there, in a calm and moonshiny night, + which made the passage incredibly pleasant to the women, who remained + three hours enjoying it, whilst I was left to the cooler transports of + enjoying their pleasures at second-hand; and yet, cooler as they may be, + whoever is totally ignorant of such sensation is, at the same time, void + of all ideas of friendship. + </p> + <p> + Wednesday.—Lisbon, before which we now lay at anchor, is said to be + built on the same number of hills with old Rome; but these do not all + appear to the water; on the contrary, one sees from thence one vast high + hill and rock, with buildings arising above one another, and that in so + steep and almost perpendicular a manner, that they all seem to have but + one foundation. + </p> + <p> + As the houses, convents, churches, &c., are large, and all built with + white stone, they look very beautiful at a distance; but as you approach + nearer, and find them to want every kind of ornament, all idea of beauty + vanishes at once. While I was surveying the prospect of this city, which + bears so little resemblance to any other that I have ever seen, a + reflection occurred to me that, if a man was suddenly to be removed from + Palmyra hither, and should take a view of no other city, in how glorious a + light would the ancient architecture appear to him! and what desolation + and destruction of arts and sciences would he conclude had happened + between the several eras of these cities! + </p> + <p> + I had now waited full three hours upon deck for the return of my man, whom + I had sent to bespeak a good dinner (a thing which had been long unknown + to me) on shore, and then to bring a Lisbon chaise with him to the + seashore; but it seems the impertinence of the providore was not yet + brought to a conclusion. At three o'clock, when I was from emptiness, + rather faint than hungry, my man returned, and told me there was a new law + lately made that no passenger should set his foot on shore without a + special order from the providore, and that he himself would have been sent + to prison for disobeying it, had he not been protected as the servant of + the captain. He informed me likewise that the captain had been very + industrious to get this order, but that it was then the providore's hour + of sleep, a time when no man, except the king himself, durst disturb him. + </p> + <p> + To avoid prolixity, though in a part of my narrative which may be more + agreeable to my reader than it was to me, the providore, having at last + finished his nap, dispatched this absurd matter of form, and gave me leave + to come, or rather to be carried, on shore. + </p> + <p> + What it was that gave the first hint of this strange law is not easy to + guess. Possibly, in the infancy of their defection, and before their + government could be well established, they were willing to guard against + the bare possibility of surprise, of the success of which bare possibility + the Trojan horse will remain for ever on record, as a great and memorable + example. Now the Portuguese have no walls to secure them, and a vessel of + two or three hundred tons will contain a much larger body of troops than + could be concealed in that famous machine, though Virgil tells us + (somewhat hyperbolically, I believe) that it was as big as a mountain. + </p> + <p> + About seven in the evening I got into a chaise on shore, and was driven + through the nastiest city in the world, though at the same time one of the + most populous, to a kind of coffee-house, which is very pleasantly + situated on the brow of a hill, about a mile from the city, and hath a + very fine prospect of the river Tajo from Lisbon to the sea. Here we + regaled ourselves with a good supper, for which we were as well charged as + if the bill had been made on the Bath-road, between Newbury and London. + </p> + <p> + And now we could joyfully say, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Egressi optata Troes potiuntur arena. +</pre> + <p> + Therefore, in the words of Horace, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + —hie Finis chartaeque viaeque. +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + Footnotes: + </h3> + <p> + <a name="linknote-12" id="linknote-12"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 12 (<a href="#linknoteref-12">return</a>)<br /> [ At Lisbon.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linknote-13" id="linknote-13"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 13 (<a href="#linknoteref-13">return</a>)<br /> [ A predecessor of mine + used to boast that he made one thousand pounds a-year in his office; but + how he did this (if indeed he did it) is to me a secret. His clerk, now + mine, told me I had more business than he had ever known there; I am sure + I had as much as any man could do. The truth is, the fees are so very low, + when any are due, and so much is done for nothing, that, if a single + justice of peace had business enough to employ twenty clerks, neither he + nor they would get much by their labor.] + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon, by Henry Fielding + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON *** + +***** This file should be named 1146-h.htm or 1146-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/4/1146/ + +Produced by Charles Keller, and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon + +Author: Henry Fielding + +Posting Date: July 27, 2008 [EBook #1146] +Release Date: December, 1997 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Keller + + + + + +THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + +by Henry Fielding + + + + +CONTENTS + + INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS + + PREFACE + + DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC + + INTRODUCTION TO THE VOYAGE TO LISBON + + THE VOYAGE + + + + +INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS + +When it was determined to extend the present edition of Fielding, not +merely by the addition of Jonathan Wild to the three universally popular +novels, but by two volumes of Miscellanies, there could be no doubt +about at least one of the contents of these latter. The Journal of a +Voyage to Lisbon, if it does not rank in my estimation anywhere near to +Jonathan Wild as an example of our author's genius, is an invaluable and +delightful document for his character and memory. It is indeed, as has +been pointed out in the General Introduction to this series, our main +source of indisputable information as to Fielding dans son naturel, and +its value, so far as it goes, is of the very highest. The gentle and +unaffected stoicism which the author displays under a disease which he +knew well was probably, if not certainly, mortal, and which, whether +mortal or not, must cause him much actual pain and discomfort of a kind +more intolerable than pain itself; his affectionate care for his family; +even little personal touches, less admirable, but hardly less pleasant +than these, showing an Englishman's dislike to be "done" and an +Englishman's determination to be treated with proper respect, are +scarcely less noticeable and important on the biographical side than the +unimpaired brilliancy of his satiric and yet kindly observation of life +and character is on the side of literature. + +There is, as is now well known since Mr. Dobson's separate edition of +the Voyage, a little bibliographical problem about the first appearance +of this Journal in 1755. The best known issue of that year is much +shorter than the version inserted by Murphy and reprinted here, the +passages omitted being chiefly those reflecting on the captain, etc., +and so likely to seem invidious in a book published just after the +author's death, and for the benefit, as was expressly announced, of his +family. But the curious thing is that there is ANOTHER edition, of date +so early that some argument is necessary to determine the priority, +which does give these passages and is identical with the later or +standard version. For satisfaction on this point, however, I must refer +readers to Mr. Dobson himself. + +There might have been a little, but not much, doubt as to a companion +piece for the Journal; for indeed, after we close this (with or without +its "Fragment on Bolingbroke"), the remainder of Fielding's work lies +on a distinctly lower level of interest. It is still interesting, or +it would not be given here. It still has--at least that part which here +appears seems to its editor to have--interest intrinsic and "simple of +itself." But it is impossible for anybody who speaks critically to deny +that we now get into the region where work is more interesting because +of its authorship than it would be if its authorship were different +or unknown. To put the same thing in a sharper antithesis, Fielding is +interesting, first of all, because he is the author of Joseph Andrews, +of Tom Jones, of Amelia, of Jonathan Wild, of the Journal. His plays, +his essays, his miscellanies generally are interesting, first of all, +because they were written by Fielding. + +Yet of these works, the Journey from this World to the Next (which, by +a grim trick of fortune, might have served as a title for the more +interesting Voyage with which we have yoked it) stands clearly first +both in scale and merit. It is indeed very unequal, and as the author +was to leave it unfinished, it is a pity that he did not leave it +unfinished much sooner than he actually did. The first ten chapters, if +of a kind of satire which has now grown rather obsolete for the +nonce, are of a good kind and good in their kind; the history of the +metempsychoses of Julian is of a less good kind, and less good in that +kind. The date of composition of the piece is not known, but it appeared +in the Miscellanies of 1743, and may represent almost any period of its +author's development prior to that year. Its form was a very common form +at the time, and continued to be so. I do not know that it is necessary +to assign any very special origin to it, though Lucian, its chief +practitioner, was evidently and almost avowedly a favorite study of +Fielding's. The Spanish romancers, whether borrowing it from Lucian or +not, had been fond of it; their French followers, of whom the chief were +Fontenelle and Le Sage, had carried it northwards; the English essayists +had almost from the beginning continued the process of acclimatization. +Fielding therefore found it ready to his hand, though the present +condition of this example would lead us to suppose that he did not find +his hand quite ready to it. Still, in the actual "journey," there are +touches enough of the master--not yet quite in his stage of mastery. +It seemed particularly desirable not to close the series without some +representation of the work to which Fielding gave the prime of his +manhood, and from which, had he not, fortunately for English literature, +been driven decidedly against his will, we had had in all probability no +Joseph Andrews, and pretty certainly no Tom Jones. Fielding's periodical +and dramatic work has been comparatively seldom reprinted, and has +never yet been reprinted as a whole. The dramas indeed are open to two +objections--the first, that they are not very "proper;" the second, and +much more serious, that they do not redeem this want of propriety by the +possession of any remarkable literary merit. Three (or two and part of +a third) seemed to escape this double censure--the first two acts of the +Author's Farce (practically a piece to themselves, for the Puppet Show +which follows is almost entirely independent); the famous burlesque of +Tom Thumb, which stands between the Rehearsal and the Critic, but nearer +to the former; and Pasquin, the maturest example of Fielding's satiric +work in drama. These accordingly have been selected; the rest I have +read, and he who likes may read. I have read many worse things than even +the worst of them, but not often worse things by so good a writer as +Henry Fielding. The next question concerned the selection of writings +more miscellaneous still, so as to give in little a complete idea of +Fielding's various powers and experiments. Two difficulties beset this +part of the task--want of space and the absence of anything so markedly +good as absolutely to insist on inclusion. The Essay on Conversation, +however, seemed pretty peremptorily to challenge a place. It is in a +style which Fielding was very slow to abandon, which indeed has left +strong traces even on his great novels; and if its mannerism is not +now very attractive, the separate traits in it are often sharp and +well-drawn. The book would not have been complete without a specimen or +two of Fielding's journalism. The Champion, his first attempt of this +kind, has not been drawn upon in consequence of the extreme difficulty +of fixing with absolute certainty on Fielding's part in it. I do not +know whether political prejudice interferes, more than I have usually +found it interfere, with my judgment of the two Hanoverian-partisan +papers of the '45 time. But they certainly seem to me to fail in +redeeming their dose of rancor and misrepresentation by any sufficient +evidence of genius such as, to my taste, saves not only the party +journalism in verse and prose of Swift and Canning and Praed on one +side, but that of Wolcot and Moore and Sydney Smith on the other. Even +the often-quoted journal of events in London under the Chevalier is +overwrought and tedious. The best thing in the True Patriot seems to me +to be Parson Adams' letter describing his adventure with a young "bowe" +of his day; and this I select, together with one or two numbers of the +Covent Garden Journal. I have not found in this latter anything more +characteristic than Murphy's selection, though Mr. Dobson, with his +unfailing kindness, lent me an original and unusually complete set of +the Journal itself. + +It is to the same kindness that I owe the opportunity of presenting the +reader with something indisputably Fielding's and very characteristic +of him, which Murphy did not print, and which has not, so far as I know, +ever appeared either in a collection or a selection of Fielding's work. +After the success of David Simple, Fielding gave his sister, for whom he +had already written a preface to that novel, another preface for a set +of Familiar Letters between the characters of David Simple and others. +This preface Murphy reprinted; but he either did not notice, or did +not choose to attend to, a note towards the end of the book attributing +certain of the letters to the author of the preface, the attribution +being accompanied by an agreeably warm and sisterly denunciation of +those who ascribed to Fielding matter unworthy of him. From these the +letter which I have chosen, describing a row on the Thames, seems to +me not only characteristic, but, like all this miscellaneous work, +interesting no less for its weakness than for its strength. In hardly +any other instance known to me can we trace so clearly the influence of +a suitable medium and form on the genius of the artist. There are some +writers--Dryden is perhaps the greatest of them--to whom form and medium +seem almost indifferent, their all-round craftsmanship being such that +they can turn any kind and every style to their purpose. There are +others, of whom I think our present author is the chief, who are +never really at home but in one kind. In Fielding's case that kind was +narrative of a peculiar sort, half-sentimental, half-satirical, and +almost wholly sympathetic--narrative which has the singular gift of +portraying the liveliest character and yet of admitting the widest +disgression and soliloquy. + +Until comparatively late in his too short life, when he found this +special path of his (and it is impossible to say whether the actual +finding was in the case of Jonathan or in the case of Joseph), he did +but flounder and slip. When he had found it, and was content to walk +in it, he strode with as sure and steady a step as any other, even the +greatest, of those who carry and hand on the torch of literature through +the ages. But it is impossible to derive full satisfaction from his +feats in this part of the race without some notion of his performances +elsewhere; and I believe that such a notion will be supplied to the +readers of his novels by the following volumes, in a very large number +of cases, for the first time. + + + + +THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + + + + +DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC + +Your candor is desired on the perusal of the following sheets, as +they are the product of a genius that has long been your delight and +entertainment. It must be acknowledged that a lamp almost burnt out does +not give so steady and uniform a light as when it blazes in its full +vigor; but yet it is well known that by its wavering, as if struggling +against its own dissolution, it sometimes darts a ray as bright as ever. +In like manner, a strong and lively genius will, in its last struggles, +sometimes mount aloft, and throw forth the most striking marks of its +original luster. + +Wherever these are to be found, do you, the genuine patrons of +extraordinary capacities, be as liberal in your applauses of him who is +now no more as you were of him whilst he was yet amongst you. And, on +the other hand, if in this little work there should appear any traces of +a weakened and decayed life, let your own imaginations place before your +eyes a true picture in that of a hand trembling in almost its +latest hour, of a body emaciated with pains, yet struggling for your +entertainment; and let this affecting picture open each tender heart, +and call forth a melting tear, to blot out whatever failings may be +found in a work begun in pain, and finished almost at the same period +with life. It was thought proper by the friends of the deceased that +this little piece should come into your hands as it came from the hands +of the author, it being judged that you would be better pleased to have +an opportunity of observing the faintest traces of a genius you have +long admired, than have it patched by a different hand, by which means +the marks of its true author might have been effaced. That the success +of the last written, though first published, volume of the author's +posthumous pieces may be attended with some convenience to those +innocents he hath left behind, will no doubt be a motive to encourage +its circulation through the kingdom, which will engage every future +genius to exert itself for your pleasure. The principles and spirit +which breathe in every line of the small fragment begun in answer to +Lord Bolingbroke will unquestionably be a sufficient apology for its +publication, although vital strength was wanting to finish a work so +happily begun and so well designed. PREFACE THERE would not, perhaps, +be a more pleasant or profitable study, among those which have their +principal end in amusement, than that of travels or voyages, if they +were wrote as they might be and ought to be, with a joint view to +the entertainment and information of mankind. If the conversation of +travelers be so eagerly sought after as it is, we may believe their +books will be still more agreeable company, as they will in general be +more instructive and more entertaining. But when I say the conversation +of travelers is usually so welcome, I must be understood to mean that +only of such as have had good sense enough to apply their peregrinations +to a proper use, so as to acquire from them a real and valuable +knowledge of men and things, both which are best known by comparison. If +the customs and manners of men were everywhere the same, there would be +no office so dull as that of a traveler, for the difference of hills, +valleys, rivers, in short, the various views of which we may see the +face of the earth, would scarce afford him a pleasure worthy of +his labor; and surely it would give him very little opportunity of +communicating any kind of entertainment or improvement to others. + +To make a traveler an agreeable companion to a man of sense, it is +necessary, not only that he should have seen much, but that he should +have overlooked much of what he hath seen. Nature is not, any more than +a great genius, always admirable in her productions, and therefore the +traveler, who may be called her commentator, should not expect to find +everywhere subjects worthy of his notice. It is certain, indeed, that +one may be guilty of omission, as well as of the opposite extreme; but +a fault on that side will be more easily pardoned, as it is better to +be hungry than surfeited; and to miss your dessert at the table of a man +whose gardens abound with the choicest fruits, than to have your +taste affronted with every sort of trash that can be picked up at the +green-stall or the wheel-barrow. If we should carry on the analogy +between the traveler and the commentator, it is impossible to keep one's +eye a moment off from the laborious much-read doctor Zachary Gray, of +whose redundant notes on Hudibras I shall only say that it is, I am +confident, the single book extant in which above five hundred authors +are quoted, not one of which could be found in the collection of the +late doctor Mead. + +As there are few things which a traveler is to record, there are fewer +on which he is to offer his observations: this is the office of the +reader; and it is so pleasant a one, that he seldom chooses to have +it taken from him, under the pretense of lending him assistance. Some +occasions, indeed, there are, when proper observations are pertinent, +and others when they are necessary; but good sense alone must point them +out. I shall lay down only one general rule; which I believe to be of +universal truth between relator and hearer, as it is between author and +reader; this is, that the latter never forgive any observation of the +former which doth not convey some knowledge that they are sensible they +could not possibly have attained of themselves. + +But all his pains in collecting knowledge, all his judgment in +selecting, and all his art in communicating it, will not suffice, +unless he can make himself, in some degree, an agreeable as well as an +instructive companion. The highest instruction we can derive from the +tedious tale of a dull fellow scarce ever pays us for our attention. +There is nothing, I think, half so valuable as knowledge, and yet there +is nothing which men will give themselves so little trouble to attain; +unless it be, perhaps, that lowest degree of it which is the object +of curiosity, and which hath therefore that active passion constantly +employed in its service. This, indeed, it is in the power of every +traveler to gratify; but it is the leading principle in weak minds only. + +To render his relation agreeable to the man of sense, it is therefore +necessary that the voyager should possess several eminent and rare +talents; so rare indeed, that it is almost wonderful to see them ever +united in the same person. And if all these talents must concur in the +relator, they are certainly in a more eminent degree necessary to the +writer; for here the narration admits of higher ornaments of style, +and every fact and sentiment offers itself to the fullest and most +deliberate examination. It would appear, therefore, I think, somewhat +strange if such writers as these should be found extremely common; since +nature hath been a most parsimonious distributor of her richest talents, +and hath seldom bestowed many on the same person. But, on the other +hand, why there should scarce exist a single writer of this kind worthy +our regard; and, whilst there is no other branch of history (for this +is history) which hath not exercised the greatest pens, why this alone +should be overlooked by all men of great genius and erudition, and +delivered up to the Goths and Vandals as their lawful property, is +altogether as difficult to determine. And yet that this is the case, +with some very few exceptions, is most manifest. Of these I shall +willingly admit Burnet and Addison; if the former was not, perhaps, to +be considered as a political essayist, and the latter as a commentator +on the classics, rather than as a writer of travels; which last title, +perhaps, they would both of them have been least ambitious to affect. +Indeed, if these two and two or three more should be removed from +the mass, there would remain such a heap of dullness behind, that the +appellation of voyage-writer would not appear very desirable. I am +not here unapprised that old Homer himself is by some considered as a +voyage-writer; and, indeed, the beginning of his Odyssey may be urged +to countenance that opinion, which I shall not controvert. But, whatever +species of writing the Odyssey is of, it is surely at the head of that +species, as much as the Iliad is of another; and so far the excellent +Longinus would allow, I believe, at this day. + +But, in reality, the Odyssey, the Telemachus, and all of that kind, are +to the voyage-writing I here intend, what romance is to true history, +the former being the confounder and corrupter of the latter. I am far +from supposing that Homer, Hesiod, and the other ancient poets and +mythologists, had any settled design to pervert and confuse the records +of antiquity; but it is certain they have effected it; and for my part I +must confess I should have honored and loved Homer more had he written +a true history of his own times in humble prose, than those noble poems +that have so justly collected the praise of all ages; for, though I read +these with more admiration and astonishment, I still read Herodotus, +Thucydides, and Xenophon with more amusement and more satisfaction. The +original poets were not, however, without excuse. They found the limits +of nature too straight for the immensity of their genius, which they had +not room to exert without extending fact by fiction: and that especially +at a time when the manners of men were too simple to afford that variety +which they have since offered in vain to the choice of the meanest +writers. In doing this they are again excusable for the manner in which +they have done it. + + Ut speciosa dehine miracula promant. + +They are not, indeed, so properly said to turn reality into fiction, +as fiction into reality. Their paintings are so bold, their colors so +strong, that everything they touch seems to exist in the very manner +they represent it; their portraits are so just, and their landscapes so +beautiful, that we acknowledge the strokes of nature in both, without +inquiring whether Nature herself, or her journeyman the poet, formed the +first pattern of the piece. But other writers (I will put Pliny at their +head) have no such pretensions to indulgence; they lie for lying sake, +or in order insolently to impose the most monstrous improbabilities and +absurdities upon their readers on their own authority; treating them as +some fathers treat children, and as other fathers do laymen, exacting +their belief of whatever they relate, on no other foundation than their +own authority, without ever taking the pains or adapting their lies to +human credulity, and of calculating them for the meridian of a common +understanding; but, with as much weakness as wickedness, and with more +impudence often than either, they assert facts contrary to the honor of +God, to the visible order of the creation, to the known laws of nature, +to the histories of former ages, and to the experience of our own, +and which no man can at once understand and believe. If it should +be objected (and it can nowhere be objected better than where I now +write, [12] as there is nowhere more pomp of bigotry) that whole nations +have been firm believers in such most absurd suppositions, I reply, +the fact is not true. They have known nothing of the matter, and have +believed they knew not what. It is, indeed, with me no matter of doubt +but that the pope and his clergy might teach any of those Christian +heterodoxies, the tenets of which are the most diametrically opposite to +their own; nay, all the doctrines of Zoroaster, Confucius, and Mahomet, +not only with certain and immediate success, but without one Catholic in +a thousand knowing he had changed his religion. + +[Footnote 12: At Lisbon.] + +What motive a man can have to sit down, and to draw forth a list of +stupid, senseless, incredible lies upon paper, would be difficult to +determine, did not Vanity present herself so immediately as the adequate +cause. The vanity of knowing more than other men is, perhaps, besides +hunger, the only inducement to writing, at least to publishing, at all. +Why then should not the voyage-writer be inflamed with the glory of +having seen what no man ever did or will see but himself? This is +the true source of the wonderful in the discourse and writings, and +sometimes, I believe, in the actions of men. There is another fault, of +a kind directly opposite to this, to which these writers are sometimes +liable, when, instead of filling their pages with monsters which nobody +hath ever seen, and with adventures which never have, nor could possibly +have, happened to them, waste their time and paper with recording things +and facts of so common a kind, that they challenge no other right of +being remembered than as they had the honor of having happened to the +author, to whom nothing seems trivial that in any manner happens to +himself. + +Of such consequence do his own actions appear to one of this kind, that +he would probably think himself guilty of infidelity should he omit the +minutest thing in the detail of his journal. That the fact is true is +sufficient to give it a place there, without any consideration whether +it is capable of pleasing or surprising, of diverting or informing, the +reader. I have seen a play (if I mistake not it is one of Mrs. Behn's +or of Mrs. Centlivre's) where this vice in a voyage-writer is finely +ridiculed. An ignorant pedant, to whose government, for I know not what +reason, the conduct of a young nobleman in his travels is committed, and +who is sent abroad to show my lord the world, of which he knows nothing +himself, before his departure from a town, calls for his Journal to +record the goodness of the wine and tobacco, with other articles of the +same importance, which are to furnish the materials of a voyage at his +return home. The humor, it is true, is here carried very far; and yet, +perhaps, very little beyond what is to be found in writers who profess +no intention of dealing in humor at all. Of one or other, or both of +these kinds, are, I conceive, all that vast pile of books which pass +under the names of voyages, travels, adventures, lives, memoirs, +histories, etc., some of which a single traveler sends into the world in +many volumes, and others are, by judicious booksellers, collected into +vast bodies in folio, and inscribed with their own names, as if they +were indeed their own travels: thus unjustly attributing to themselves +the merit of others. + +Now, from both these faults we have endeavored to steer clear in the +following narrative; which, however the contrary may be insinuated by +ignorant, unlearned, and fresh-water critics, who have never traveled +either in books or ships, I do solemnly declare doth, in my own +impartial opinion, deviate less from truth than any other voyage extant; +my lord Anson's alone being, perhaps, excepted. Some few embellishments +must be allowed to every historian; for we are not to conceive that the +speeches in Livy, Sallust, or Thucydides, were literally spoken in the +very words in which we now read them. It is sufficient that every fact +hath its foundation in truth, as I do seriously aver is the ease in +the ensuing pages; and when it is so, a good critic will be so far +from denying all kind of ornament of style or diction, or even of +circumstance, to his author, that he would be rather sorry if he omitted +it; for he could hence derive no other advantage than the loss of an +additional pleasure in the perusal. + +Again, if any merely common incident should appear in this journal, +which will seldom I apprehend be the case, the candid reader will +easily perceive it is not introduced for its own sake, but for some +observations and reflections naturally resulting from it; and which, +if but little to his amusement, tend directly to the instruction of +the reader or to the information of the public; to whom if I choose to +convey such instruction or information with an air of joke and laughter, +none but the dullest of fellows will, I believe, censure it; but if +they should, I have the authority of more than one passage in Horace to +allege in my defense. Having thus endeavored to obviate some censures, +to which a man without the gift of foresight, or any fear of the +imputation of being a conjurer, might conceive this work would be +liable, I might now undertake a more pleasing task, and fall at once to +the direct and positive praises of the work itself; of which indeed, I +could say a thousand good things; but the task is so very pleasant that +I shall leave it wholly to the reader, and it is all the task that I +impose on him. A moderation for which he may think himself obliged to me +when he compares it with the conduct of authors, who often fill a whole +sheet with their own praises, to which they sometimes set their own real +names, and sometimes a fictitious one. One hint, however, I must give +the kind reader; which is, that if he should be able to find no sort of +amusement in the book, he will be pleased to remember the public utility +which will arise from it. If entertainment, as Mr. Richardson observes, +be but a secondary consideration in a romance; with which Mr. Addison, I +think, agrees, affirming the use of the pastry cook to be the first; if +this, I say, be true of a mere work of invention, sure it may well be +so considered in a work founded, like this, on truth; and where the +political reflections form so distinguishing a part. But perhaps I may +hear, from some critic of the most saturnine complexion, that my vanity +must have made a horrid dupe of my judgment, if it hath flattered me +with an expectation of having anything here seen in a grave light, or of +conveying any useful instruction to the public, or to their guardians. I +answer, with the great man whom I just now quoted, that my purpose is +to convey instruction in the vehicle of entertainment; and so to +bring about at once, like the revolution in the Rehearsal, a +perfect reformation of the laws relating to our maritime affairs: an +undertaking, I will not say more modest, but surely more feasible, than +that of reforming a whole people, by making use of a vehicular story, to +wheel in among them worse manners than their own. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +In the beginning of August, 1753, when I had taken the duke of +Portland's medicine, as it is called, near a year, the effects of which +had been the carrying off the symptoms of a lingering imperfect gout, I +was persuaded by Mr. Ranby, the king's premier sergeant-surgeon, and the +ablest advice, I believe, in all branches of the physical profession, +to go immediately to Bath. I accordingly wrote that very night to Mrs. +Bowden, who, by the next post, informed me she had taken me a lodging +for a month certain. Within a few days after this, whilst I was +preparing for my journey, and when I was almost fatigued to death with +several long examinations, relating to five different murders, +all committed within the space of a week, by different gangs of +street-robbers, I received a message from his grace the duke of +Newcastle, by Mr. Carrington, the king's messenger, to attend his +grace the next morning, in Lincoln's-inn-fields, upon some business of +importance; but I excused myself from complying with the message, as, +besides being lame, I was very ill with the great fatigues I had lately +undergone added to my distemper. + +His grace, however, sent Mr. Carrington, the very next morning, +with another summons; with which, though in the utmost distress, I +immediately complied; but the duke, happening, unfortunately for me, +to be then particularly engaged, after I had waited some time, sent a +gentleman to discourse with me on the best plan which could be invented +for putting an immediate end to those murders and robberies which were +every day committed in the streets; upon which I promised to transmit +my opinion, in writing, to his grace, who, as the gentleman informed me, +intended to lay it before the privy council. + +Though this visit cost me a severe cold, I, notwithstanding, set myself +down to work; and in about four days sent the duke as regular a plan +as I could form, with all the reasons and arguments I could bring to +support it, drawn out in several sheets of paper; and soon received a +message from the duke by Mr. Carrington, acquainting me that my plan was +highly approved of, and that all the terms of it would be complied +with. The principal and most material of those terms was the immediately +depositing six hundred pound in my hands; at which small charge I +undertook to demolish the then reigning gangs, and to put the civil +policy into such order, that no such gangs should ever be able, for the +future, to form themselves into bodies, or at least to remain any time +formidable to the public. + +I had delayed my Bath journey for some time, contrary to the repeated +advice of my physical acquaintance, and to the ardent desire of my +warmest friends, though my distemper was now turned to a deep jaundice; +in which case the Bath waters are generally reputed to be almost +infallible. But I had the most eager desire of demolishing this gang of +villains and cut-throats, which I was sure of accomplishing the moment +I was enabled to pay a fellow who had undertaken, for a small sum, to +betray them into the hands of a set of thief-takers whom I had +enlisted into the service, all men of known and approved fidelity and +intrepidity. + +After some weeks the money was paid at the treasury, and within a few +days after two hundred pounds of it had come to my hands, the whole +gang of cut-throats was entirely dispersed, seven of them were in actual +custody, and the rest driven, some out of the town, and others out of +the kingdom. Though my health was now reduced to the last extremity, +I continued to act with the utmost vigor against these villains; in +examining whom, and in taking the depositions against them, I have often +spent whole days, nay, sometimes whole nights, especially when there was +any difficulty in procuring sufficient evidence to convict them; which +is a very common case in street-robberies, even when the guilt of the +party is sufficiently apparent to satisfy the most tender conscience. +But courts of justice know nothing of a cause more than what is told +them on oath by a witness; and the most flagitious villain upon earth is +tried in the same manner as a man of the best character who is accused +of the same crime. Meanwhile, amidst all my fatigues and distresses, I +had the satisfaction to find my endeavors had been attended with such +success that this hellish society were almost utterly extirpated, and +that, instead of reading of murders and street-robberies in the news +almost every morning, there was, in the remaining part of the month of +November, and in all December, not only no such thing as a murder, but +not even a street-robbery committed. Some such, indeed, were mentioned +in the public papers; but they were all found on the strictest inquiry, +to be false. In this entire freedom from street-robberies, during the +dark months, no man will, I believe, scruple to acknowledge that the +winter of 1753 stands unrivaled, during a course of many years; and this +may possibly appear the more extraordinary to those who recollect +the outrages with which it began. Having thus fully accomplished my +undertaking, I went into the country, in a very weak and deplorable +condition, with no fewer or less diseases than a jaundice, a dropsy, and +an asthma, altogether uniting their forces in the destruction of a body +so entirely emaciated that it had lost all its muscular flesh. Mine was +now no longer what was called a Bath case; nor, if it had been so, had +I strength remaining sufficient to go thither, a ride of six miles only +being attended with an intolerable fatigue. I now discharged my lodgings +at Bath, which I had hitherto kept. I began in earnest to look on my +case as desperate, and I had vanity enough to rank myself with those +heroes who, of old times, became voluntary sacrifices to the good of the +public. But, lest the reader should be too eager to catch at the +word VANITY, and should be unwilling to indulge me with so sublime a +gratification, for I think he is not too apt to gratify me, I will take +my key a pitch lower, and will frankly own that I had a stronger motive +than the love of the public to push me on: I will therefore confess to +him that my private affairs at the beginning of the winter had but a +gloomy aspect; for I had not plundered the public or the poor of those +sums which men, who are always ready to plunder both as much as they +can, have been pleased to suspect me of taking: on the contrary, by +composing, instead of inflaming the quarrels of porters and beggars +(which I blush when I say hath not been universally practiced), and by +refusing to take a shilling from a man who most undoubtedly would not +have had another left, I had reduced an income of about five hundred +pounds [13] a-year of the dirtiest money upon earth to little more than +three hundred pounds; a considerable proportion of which remained with +my clerk; and, indeed, if the whole had done so, as it ought, he would +be but ill paid for sitting almost sixteen hours in the twenty-four in +the most unwholesome, as well as nauseous air in the universe, and which +hath in his case corrupted a good constitution without contaminating his +morals. + +[Footnote 13: A predecessor of mine used to boast that he made one thousand +pounds a-year in his office; but how he did this (if indeed he did it) +is to me a secret. His clerk, now mine, told me I had more business than +he had ever known there; I am sure I had as much as any man could do. +The truth is, the fees are so very low, when any are due, and so much is +done for nothing, that, if a single justice of peace had business enough +to employ twenty clerks, neither he nor they would get much by their +labor.] + +The public will not, therefore, I hope, think I betray a secret when I +inform them that I received from the Government a yearly pension out +of the public service money; which, I believe, indeed, would have been +larger had my great patron been convinced of an error, which I have +heard him utter more than once, that he could not indeed say that +the acting as a principal justice of peace in Westminster was on all +accounts very desirable, but that all the world knew it was a very +lucrative office. Now, to have shown him plainly that a man must be a +rogue to make a very little this way, and that he could not make much +by being as great a rogue as he could be, would have required more +confidence than, I believe, he had in me, and more of his conversation +than he chose to allow me; I therefore resigned the office and +the farther execution of my plan to my brother, who had long been +my assistant. And now, lest the case between me and the reader should +be the same in both instances as it was between me and the great man, I +will not add another word on the subject. + + +But, not to trouble the reader with anecdotes, contrary to my own rule +laid down in my preface, I assure him I thought my family was very +slenderly provided for; and that my health began to decline so fast that +I had very little more of life left to accomplish what I had thought of +too late. I rejoiced therefore greatly in seeing an opportunity, as I +apprehended, of gaining such merit in the eye of the public, that, if my +life were the sacrifice to it, my friends might think they did a popular +act in putting my family at least beyond the reach of necessity, which I +myself began to despair of doing. And though I disclaim all pretense to +that Spartan or Roman patriotism which loved the public so well that it +was always ready to become a voluntary sacrifice to the public good, I +do solemnly declare I have that love for my family. + +After this confession therefore, that the public was not the principal +deity to which my life was offered a sacrifice, and when it is farther +considered what a poor sacrifice this was, being indeed no other than +the giving up what I saw little likelihood of being able to hold much +longer, and which, upon the terms I held it, nothing but the weakness +of human nature could represent to me as worth holding at all; the world +may, I believe, without envy, allow me all the praise to which I have +any title. My aim, in fact, was not praise, which is the last gift they +care to bestow; at least, this was not my aim as an end, but rather as a +means of purchasing some moderate provision for my family, which, though +it should exceed my merit, must fall infinitely short of my service, if +I succeeded in my attempt. To say the truth, the public never act more +wisely than when they act most liberally in the distribution of their +rewards; and here the good they receive is often more to be considered +than the motive from which they receive it. Example alone is the end +of all public punishments and rewards. Laws never inflict disgrace in +resentment, nor confer honor from gratitude. "For it is very hard, my +lord," said a convicted felon at the bar to the late excellent judge +Burnet, "to hang a poor man for stealing a horse." "You are not to be +hanged sir," answered my ever-honored and beloved friend, "for stealing +a horse, but you are to be hanged that horses may not be stolen." In +like manner it might have been said to the late duke of Marlborough, +when the parliament was so deservedly liberal to him, after the battle +of Blenheim, "You receive not these honors and bounties on account of a +victory past, but that other victories may be obtained." + +I was now, in the opinion of all men, dying of a complication of +disorders; and, were I desirous of playing the advocate, I have an +occasion fair enough; but I disdain such an attempt. I relate facts +plainly and simply as they are; and let the world draw from them what +conclusions they please, taking with them the following facts for their +instruction: the one is, that the proclamation offering one hundred +pounds for the apprehending felons for certain felonies committed in +certain places, which I prevented from being revived, had formerly cost +the government several thousand pounds within a single year. Secondly, +that all such proclamations, instead of curing the evil, had actually +increased it; had multiplied the number of robberies; had propagated +the worst and wickedest of perjuries; had laid snares for youth and +ignorance, which, by the temptation of these rewards, had been sometimes +drawn into guilt; and sometimes, which cannot be thought on without the +highest horror, had destroyed them without it. Thirdly, that my plan had +not put the government to more than three hundred pound expense, and had +produced none of the ill consequences above mentioned; but, lastly, had +actually suppressed the evil for a time, and had plainly pointed out the +means of suppressing it for ever. This I would myself have undertaken, +had my health permitted, at the annual expense of the above-mentioned +sum. + +After having stood the terrible six weeks which succeeded last +Christmas, and put a lucky end, if they had known their own interests, +to such numbers of aged and infirm valetudinarians, who might have +gasped through two or three mild winters more, I returned to town in +February, in a condition less despaired of by myself than by any of my +friends. I now became the patient of Dr. Ward, who wished I had taken +his advice earlier. By his advice I was tapped, and fourteen quarts +of water drawn from my belly. The sudden relaxation which this caused, +added to my enervate, emaciated habit of body, so weakened me that +within two days I was thought to be falling into the agonies of death. I +was at the worst on that memorable day when the public lost Mr. Pelham. +From that day I began slowly, as it were, to draw my feet out of the +grave; till in two months' time I had again acquired some little degree +of strength, but was again full of water. During this whole time I took +Mr. Ward's medicines, which had seldom any perceptible operation. Those +in particular of the diaphoretic kind, the working of which is thought +to require a great strength of constitution to support, had so little +effect on me, that Mr. Ward declared it was as vain to attempt sweating +me as a deal board. In this situation I was tapped a second time. I had +one quart of water less taken from me now than before; but I bore all +the consequences of the operation much better. This I attributed greatly +to a dose of laudanum prescribed by my surgeon. It first gave me the +most delicious flow of spirits, and afterwards as comfortable a nap. + +The month of May, which was now begun, it seemed reasonable to +expect would introduce the spring, and drive of that winter which yet +maintained its footing on the stage. I resolved therefore to visit a +little house of mine in the country, which stands at Ealing, in the +county of Middlesex, in the best air, I believe, in the whole kingdom, +and far superior to that of Kensington Gravel-pits; for the gravel is +here much wider and deeper, the place higher and more open towards the +south, whilst it is guarded from the north wind by a ridge of hills, and +from the smells and smoke of London by its distance; which last is not +the fate of Kensington, when the wind blows from any corner of the east. + +Obligations to Mr. Ward I shall always confess; for I am convinced that +he omitted no care in endeavoring to serve me, without any expectation +or desire of fee or reward. + +The powers of Mr. Ward's remedies want indeed no unfair puffs of mine +to give them credit; and though this distemper of the dropsy stands, I +believe, first in the list of those over which he is always certain of +triumphing, yet, possibly, there might be something particular in my +case capable of eluding that radical force which had healed so many +thousands. The same distemper, in different constitutions, may possibly +be attended with such different symptoms, that to find an infallible +nostrum for the curing any one distemper in every patient may be almost +as difficult as to find a panacea for the cure of all. + +But even such a panacea one of the greatest scholars and best of men +did lately apprehend he had discovered. It is true, indeed, he was no +physician; that is, he had not by the forms of his education acquired +a right of applying his skill in the art of physic to his own private +advantage; and yet, perhaps, it may be truly asserted that no other +modern hath contributed so much to make his physical skill useful to the +public; at least, that none hath undergone the pains of communicating +this discovery in writing to the world. The reader, I think, will scarce +need to be informed that the writer I mean is the late bishop of Cloyne, +in Ireland, and the discovery that of the virtues of tar-water. + +I then happened to recollect, upon a hint given me by the inimitable +and shamefully-distressed author of the Female Quixote, that I had +many years before, from curiosity only, taken a cursory view of bishop +Berkeley's treatise on the virtues of tar-water, which I had formerly +observed he strongly contends to be that real panacea which Sydenham +supposes to have an existence in nature, though it yet remains +undiscovered, and perhaps will always remain so. + +Upon the reperusal of this book I found the bishop only asserting his +opinion that tar-water might be useful in the dropsy, since he had known +it to have a surprising success in the cure of a most stubborn anasarca, +which is indeed no other than, as the word implies, the dropsy of the +flesh; and this was, at that time, a large part of my complaint. + +After a short trial, therefore, of a milk diet, which I presently found +did not suit with my case, I betook myself to the bishop's prescription, +and dosed myself every morning and evening with half a pint of +tar-water. + +It was no more than three weeks since my last tapping, and my belly and +limbs were distended with water. This did not give me the worse opinion +of tar-water; for I never supposed there could be any such virtue +in tar-water as immediately to carry off a quantity of water already +collected. For my delivery from this I well knew I must be again obliged +to the trochar; and that if the tar-water did me any good at all it +must be only by the slowest degrees; and that if it should ever get +the better of my distemper it must be by the tedious operation of +undermining, and not by a sudden attack and storm. + +Some visible effects, however, and far beyond what my most sanguine +hopes could with any modesty expect, I very soon experienced; the +tar-water having, from the very first, lessened my illness, increased +my appetite, and added, though in a very slow proportion, to my bodily +strength. But if my strength had increased a little my water daily +increased much more. So that, by the end of May, my belly became again +ripe for the trochar, and I was a third time tapped; upon which, two +very favorable symptoms appeared. I had three quarts of water taken from +me less than had been taken the last time; and I bore the relaxation +with much less (indeed with scarce any) faintness. + +Those of my physical friends on whose judgment I chiefly depended seemed +to think my only chance of life consisted in having the whole summer +before me; in which I might hope to gather sufficient strength to +encounter the inclemencies of the ensuing winter. But this chance began +daily to lessen. I saw the summer mouldering away, or rather, indeed, +the year passing away without intending to bring on any summer at all. +In the whole month of May the sun scarce appeared three times. So that +the early fruits came to the fullness of their growth, and to some +appearance of ripeness, without acquiring any real maturity; having +wanted the heat of the sun to soften and meliorate their juices. I saw +the dropsy gaining rather than losing ground; the distance growing still +shorter between the tappings. I saw the asthma likewise beginning again +to become more troublesome. I saw the midsummer quarter drawing towards +a close. So that I conceived, if the Michaelmas quarter should steal +off in the same manner, as it was, in my opinion, very much to be +apprehended it would, I should be delivered up to the attacks of winter +before I recruited my forces, so as to be anywise able to withstand +them. + +I now began to recall an intention, which from the first dawnings of my +recovery I had conceived, of removing to a warmer climate; and, finding +this to be approved of by a very eminent physician, I resolved to put +it into immediate execution. Aix in Provence was the place first thought +on; but the difficulties of getting thither were insuperable. The +Journey by land, beside the expense of it, was infinitely too long and +fatiguing; and I could hear of no ship that was likely to set out from +London, within any reasonable time, for Marseilles, or any other port in +that part of the Mediterranean. + +Lisbon was presently fixed on in its room. The air here, as it was near +four degrees to the south of Aix, must be more mild and warm, and the +winter shorter and less piercing. + +It was not difficult to find a ship bound to a place with which we carry +on so immense a trade. Accordingly, my brother soon informed me of the +excellent accommodations for passengers which were to be found on board +a ship that was obliged to sail for Lisbon in three days. I eagerly +embraced the offer, notwithstanding the shortness of the time; and, +having given my brother full power to contract for our passage, I began +to prepare my family for the voyage with the utmost expedition. + +But our great haste was needless; for the captain having twice put off +his sailing, I at length invited him to dinner with me at Fordhook, a +full week after the time on which he had declared, and that with many +asseverations, he must and would weigh anchor. + +He dined with me according to his appointment; and when all matters +were settled between us, left me with positive orders to be on board the +Wednesday following, when he declared he would fall down the river +to Gravesend, and would not stay a moment for the greatest man in the +world. He advised me to go to Gravesend by land, and there wait the +arrival of his ship, assigning many reasons for this, every one of which +was, as I well remember, among those that had before determined me to go +on board near the Tower. + + + + +THE VOYAGE + + +WEDNESDAY, June 26, 1754.--On this day the most melancholy sun I had +ever beheld arose, and found me awake at my house at Fordhook. By the +light of this sun I was, in my own opinion, last to behold and take +leave of some of those creatures on whom I doted with a mother-like +fondness, guided by nature and passion, and uncured and unhardened by +all the doctrine of that philosophical school where I had learned to +bear pains and to despise death. In this situation, as I could not +conquer Nature, I submitted entirely to her, and she made as great a +fool of me as she had ever done of any woman whatsoever; under pretense +of giving me leave to enjoy, she drew me in to suffer, the company of my +little ones during eight hours; and I doubt not whether, in that time, I +did not undergo more than in all my distemper. + +At twelve precisely my coach was at the door, which was no sooner told +me than I kissed my children round, and went into it with some little +resolution. My wife, who behaved more like a heroine and philosopher, +though at the same time the tenderest mother in the world, and my eldest +daughter, followed me; some friends went with us, and others here took +their leave; and I heard my behavior applauded, with many murmurs +and praises to which I well knew I had no title; as all other such +philosophers may, if they have any modesty, confess on the like +occasions. + +In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe, and immediately went on board, +and were to have sailed the next morning; but, as this was the king's +proclamation-day, and consequently a holiday at the custom-house, the +captain could not clear his vessel till the Thursday; for these holidays +are as strictly observed as those in the popish calendar, and are almost +as numerous. I might add that both are opposite to the genius of trade, +and consequently contra bonum publicum. + +To go on board the ship it was necessary first to go into a boat; a +matter of no small difficulty, as I had no use of my limbs, and was +to be carried by men who, though sufficiently strong for their burden, +were, like Archimedes, puzzled to find a steady footing. Of this, as +few of my readers have not gone into wherries on the Thames, they will +easily be able to form to themselves an idea. However, by the assistance +of my friend, Mr. Welch, whom I never think or speak of but with love +and esteem, I conquered this difficulty, as I did afterwards that of +ascending the ship, into which I was hoisted with more ease by a chair +lifted with pulleys. I was soon seated in a great chair in the cabin, +to refresh myself after a fatigue which had been more intolerable, in a +quarter of a mile's passage from my coach to the ship, than I had before +undergone in a land-journey of twelve miles, which I had traveled with +the utmost expedition. + +This latter fatigue was, perhaps, somewhat heightened by an indignation +which I could not prevent arising in my mind. I think, upon my entrance +into the boat, I presented a spectacle of the highest horror. The total +loss of limbs was apparent to all who saw me, and my face contained +marks of a most diseased state, if not of death itself. Indeed, so +ghastly was my countenance, that timorous women with child had abstained +from my house, for fear of the ill consequences of looking at me. In +this condition I ran the gauntlope (so I think I may justly call it) +through rows of sailors and watermen, few of whom failed of paying their +compliments to me by all manner of insults and jests on my misery. No +man who knew me will think I conceived any personal resentment at this +behavior; but it was a lively picture of that cruelty and inhumanity +in the nature of men which I have often contemplated with concern, and +which leads the mind into a train of very uncomfortable and melancholy +thoughts. It may be said that this barbarous custom is peculiar to +the English, and of them only to the lowest degree; that it is an +excrescence of an uncontrolled licentiousness mistaken for liberty, and +never shows itself in men who are polished and refined in such manner +as human nature requires to produce that perfection of which it is +susceptible, and to purge away that malevolence of disposition of which, +at our birth, we partake in common with the savage creation. This may +be said, and this is all that can be said; and it is, I am afraid, but +little satisfactory to account for the inhumanity of those who, while +they boast of being made after God's own image, seem to bear in their +minds a resemblance of the vilest species of brutes; or rather, indeed, +of our idea of devils; for I don't know that any brutes can be taxed +with such malevolence. A sirloin of beef was now placed on the table, +for which, though little better than carrion, as much was charged by the +master of the little paltry ale-house who dressed it as would have been +demanded for all the elegance of the King's Arms, or any other polite +tavern or eating-house! for, indeed, the difference between the best +house and the worst is, that at the former you pay largely for luxury, +at the latter for nothing. + +Thursday, June 27.--This morning the captain, who lay on shore at his +own house, paid us a visit in the cabin, and behaved like an angry +bashaw, declaring that, had he known we were not to be pleased, he would +not have carried us for five hundred pounds. He added many asseverations +that he was a gentleman, and despised money; not forgetting several +hints of the presents which had been made him for his cabin, of twenty, +thirty, and forty guineas, by several gentlemen, over and above the sum +for which they had contracted. This behavior greatly surprised me, as I +knew not how to account for it, nothing having happened since we parted +from the captain the evening before in perfect good humor; and all this +broke forth on the first moment of his arrival this morning. He did +not, however, suffer my amazement to have any long continuance before +he clearly showed me that all this was meant only as an apology to +introduce another procrastination (being the fifth) of his weighing +anchor, which was now postponed till Saturday, for such was his will and +pleasure. + +Besides the disagreeable situation in which we then lay, in the confines +of Wapping and Rotherhithe, tasting a delicious mixture of the air of +both these sweet places, and enjoying the concord of sweet sounds of +seamen, watermen, fish-women, oyster-women, and of all the vociferous +inhabitants of both shores, composing altogether a greater variety of +harmony than Hogarth's imagination hath brought together in that print +of his, which is enough to make a man deaf to look at--I had a more +urgent cause to press our departure, which was, that the dropsy, for +which I had undergone three tappings, seemed to threaten me with a +fourth discharge before I should reach Lisbon, and when I should have +nobody on board capable of performing the operation; but I was obliged +to hearken to the voice of reason, if I may use the captain's own words, +and to rest myself contented. Indeed, there was no alternative within my +reach but what would have cost me much too dear. There are many evils +in society from which people of the highest rank are so entirely exempt, +that they have not the least knowledge or idea of them; nor indeed of +the characters which are formed by them. Such, for instance, is the +conveyance of goods and passengers from one place to another. Now there +is no such thing as any kind of knowledge contemptible in itself; and, +as the particular knowledge I here mean is entirely necessary to the +well understanding and well enjoying this journal; and, lastly, as in +this case the most ignorant will be those very readers whose amusement +we chiefly consult, and to whom we wish to be supposed principally to +write, we will here enter somewhat largely into the discussion of this +matter; the rather, for that no ancient or modern author (if we can +trust the catalogue of doctor Mead's library) hath ever undertaken it, +but that it seems (in the style of Don Quixote) a task reserved for my +pen alone. + +When I first conceived this intention I began to entertain thoughts of +inquiring into the antiquity of traveling; and, as many persons have +performed in this way (I mean have traveled) at the expense of the +public, I flattered myself that the spirit of improving arts and +sciences, and of advancing useful and substantial learning, which +so eminently distinguishes this age, and hath given rise to more +speculative societies in Europe than I at present can recollect the +names of--perhaps, indeed, than I or any other, besides their very near +neighbors, ever heard mentioned--would assist in promoting so curious +a work; a work begun with the same views, calculated for the same +purposes, and fitted for the same uses, with the labors which those +right honorable societies have so cheerfully undertaken themselves, +and encouraged in others; sometimes with the highest honors, even with +admission into their colleges, and with enrollment among their members. + +From these societies I promised myself all assistance in their power, +particularly the communication of such valuable manuscripts and records +as they must be supposed to have collected from those obscure ages +of antiquity when history yields us such imperfect accounts of the +residence, and much more imperfect of the travels, of the human race; +unless, perhaps, as a curious and learned member of the young Society +of Antiquarians is said to have hinted his conjectures, that their +residence and their travels were one and the same; and this discovery +(for such it seems to be) he is said to have owed to the lighting by +accident on a book, which we shall have occasion to mention presently, +the contents of which were then little known to the society. + +The king of Prussia, moreover, who, from a degree of benevolence +and taste which in either case is a rare production in so northern a +climate, is the great encourager of art and science, I was well assured +would promote so useful a design, and order his archives to be searched +on my behalf. But after well weighing all these advantages, and much +meditation on the order of my work, my whole design was subverted in a +moment by hearing of the discovery just mentioned to have been made by +the young antiquarian, who, from the most ancient record in the world +(though I don't find the society are all agreed on this point), one long +preceding the date of the earliest modern collections, either of books +or butterflies, none of which pretend to go beyond the flood, shows +us that the first man was a traveler, and that he and his family were +scarce settled in Paradise before they disliked their own home, and +became passengers to another place. Hence it appears that the humor of +traveling is as old as the human race, and that it was their curse from +the beginning. By this discovery my plan became much shortened, and +I found it only necessary to treat of the conveyance of goods and +passengers from place to place; which, not being universally known, +seemed proper to be explained before we examined into its original. +There are indeed two different ways of tracing all things used by the +historian and the antiquary; these are upwards and downwards. + +The former shows you how things are, and leaves to others to discover +when they began to be so. The latter shows you how things were, and +leaves their present existence to be examined by others. Hence the +former is more useful, the latter more curious. The former receives the +thanks of mankind; the latter of that valuable part, the virtuosi. + +In explaining, therefore, this mystery of carrying goods and passengers +from one place to another, hitherto so profound a secret to the very +best of our readers, we shall pursue the historical method, and endeavor +to show by what means it is at present performed, referring the more +curious inquiry either to some other pen or to some other opportunity. + +Now there are two general ways of performing (if God permit) this +conveyance, viz., by land and water, both of which have much variety; +that by land being performed in different vehicles, such as coaches, +caravans, wagons, etc.; and that by water in ships, barges, and boats, +of various sizes and denominations. But, as all these methods of +conveyance are formed on the same principles, they agree so well +together, that it is fully sufficient to comprehend them all in the +general view, without descending to such minute particulars as would +distinguish one method from another. + +Common to all of these is one general principle that, as the goods to be +conveyed are usually the larger, so they are to be chiefly considered in +the conveyance; the owner being indeed little more than an appendage to +his trunk, or box, or bale, or at best a small part of his own baggage, +very little care is to be taken in stowing or packing them up with +convenience to himself; for the conveyance is not of passengers and +goods, but of goods and passengers. + +Secondly, from this conveyance arises a new kind of relation, or rather +of subjection, in the society, by which the passenger becomes bound in +allegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is indeed only temporary +and local, but the most absolute during its continuance of any known in +Great Britain, and, to say truth, scarce consistent with the liberties +of a free people, nor could it be reconciled with them, did it not move +downwards; a circumstance universally apprehended to be incompatible +to all kinds of slavery; for Aristotle in his Politics hath proved +abundantly to my satisfaction that no men are born to be slaves, except +barbarians; and these only to such as are not themselves barbarians; and +indeed Mr. Montesquieu hath carried it very little farther in the case +of the Africans; the real truth being that no man is born to be a slave, +unless to him who is able to make him so. + +Thirdly, this subjection is absolute, and consists of a perfect +resignation both of body and soul to the disposal of another; after +which resignation, during a certain time, his subject retains no more +power over his own will than an Asiatic slave, or an English wife, by +the laws of both countries, and by the customs of one of them. If I +should mention the instance of a stage-coachman, many of my readers +would recognize the truth of what I have here observed; all, indeed, +that ever have been under the dominion of that tyrant, who in this free +country is as absolute as a Turkish bashaw. In two particulars only his +power is defective; he cannot press you into his service, and if you +enter yourself at one place, on condition of being discharged at a +certain time at another, he is obliged to perform his agreement, if +God permit, but all the intermediate time you are absolutely under his +government; he carries you how he will, when he will, and whither he +will, provided it be not much out of the road; you have nothing to eat +or to drink, but what, and when, and where he pleases. Nay, you cannot +sleep unless he pleases you should; for he will order you sometimes out +of bed at midnight and hurry you away at a moment's warning: indeed, if +you can sleep in his vehicle he cannot prevent it; nay, indeed, to +give him his due, this he is ordinarily disposed to encourage: for the +earlier he forces you to rise in the morning, the more time he will give +you in the heat of the day, sometimes even six hours at an ale-house, or +at their doors, where he always gives you the same indulgence which +he allows himself; and for this he is generally very moderate in his +demands. I have known a whole bundle of passengers charged no more than +half-a-crown for being suffered to remain quiet at an ale-house door for +above a whole hour, and that even in the hottest day in summer. But as +this kind of tyranny, though it hath escaped our political writers, +hath been I think touched by our dramatic, and is more trite among +the generality of readers; and as this and all other kinds of such +subjection are alike unknown to my friends, I will quit the passengers +by land, and treat of those who travel by water; for whatever is said on +this subject is applicable to both alike, and we may bring them together +as closely as they are brought in the liturgy, when they are recommended +to the prayers of all Christian congregations; and (which I have often +thought very remarkable) where they are joined with other miserable +wretches, such as women in labor, people in sickness, infants just born, +prisoners and captives. Goods and passengers are conveyed by water in +divers vehicles, the principal of which being a ship, it shall suffice +to mention that alone. Here the tyrant doth not derive his title, as the +stage-coachman doth, from the vehicle itself in which he stows his goods +and passengers, but he is called the captain--a word of such various +use and uncertain signification, that it seems very difficult to fix any +positive idea to it: if, indeed, there be any general meaning which may +comprehend all its different uses, that of the head or chief of any body +of men seems to be most capable of this comprehension; for whether they +be a company of soldiers, a crew of sailors, or a gang of rogues, he who +is at the head of them is always styled the captain. + +The particular tyrant whose fortune it was to stow us aboard laid a +farther claim to this appellation than the bare command of a vehicle of +conveyance. He had been the captain of a privateer, which he chose to +call being in the king's service, and thence derived a right of hoisting +the military ornament of a cockade over the button of his hat. He +likewise wore a sword of no ordinary length by his side, with which he +swaggered in his cabin, among the wretches his passengers, whom he had +stowed in cupboards on each side. He was a person of a very singular +character. He had taken it into his head that he was a gentleman, from +those very reasons that proved he was not one; and to show himself a +fine gentleman, by a behavior which seemed to insinuate he had never +seen one. He was, moreover, a man of gallantry; at the age of seventy +he had the finicalness of Sir Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly; +and, while he was deaf himself, had a voice capable of deafening all +others. + +Now, as I saw myself in danger by the delays of the captain, who was, in +reality, waiting for more freight, and as the wind had been long nested, +as it were, in the southwest, where it constantly blew hurricanes, I +began with great reason to apprehend that our voyage might be long, and +that my belly, which began already to be much extended, would require +the water to be let out at a time when no assistance was at hand; +though, indeed, the captain comforted me with assurances that he had +a pretty young fellow on board who acted as his surgeon, as I found he +likewise did as steward, cook, butler, sailor. In short, he had as +many offices as Scrub in the play, and went through them all with great +dexterity; this of surgeon was, perhaps, the only one in which his skill +was somewhat deficient, at least that branch of tapping for the dropsy; +for he very ingenuously and modestly confessed he had never seen the +operation performed, nor was possessed of that chirurgical instrument +with which it is performed. + +Friday, June 28.--By way of prevention, therefore, I this day sent for +my friend, Mr. Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomist of Covent-garden; +and, though my belly was not yet very full and tight, let out ten +quarts of water; the young sea-surgeon attended the operation, not as a +performer, but as a student. + +I was now eased of the greatest apprehension which I had from the length +of the passage; and I told the captain I was become indifferent as +to the time of his sailing. He expressed much satisfaction in this +declaration, and at hearing from me that I found myself, since my +tapping, much lighter and better. In this, I believe, he was sincere; +for he was, as we shall have occasion to observe more than once, a very +good-natured man; and, as he was a very brave one too, I found that the +heroic constancy with which I had borne an operation that is attended +with scarce any degree of pain had not a little raised me in his esteem. +That he might adhere, therefore, in the most religious and rigorous +manner to his word, when he had no longer any temptation from interest +to break it, as he had no longer any hopes of more goods or passengers, +he ordered his ship to fall down to Gravesend on Sunday morning, and +there to wait his arrival. + +Sunday, June 30.--Nothing worth notice passed till that morning, when +my poor wife, after passing a night in the utmost torments of the +toothache, resolved to have it drawn. I despatched therefore a servant +into Wapping to bring in haste the best tooth-drawer he could find. +He soon found out a female of great eminence in the art; but when he +brought her to the boat, at the waterside, they were informed that +the ship was gone; for indeed she had set out a few minutes after his +quitting her; nor did the pilot, who well knew the errand on which I had +sent my servant, think fit to wait a moment for his return, or to give +me any notice of his setting out, though I had very patiently attended +the delays of the captain four days, after many solemn promises of +weighing anchor every one of the three last. But of all the petty +bashaws or turbulent tyrants I ever beheld, this sour-faced pilot was +the worst tempered; for, during the time that he had the guidance of the +ship, which was till we arrived in the Downs, he complied with no one's +desires, nor did he give a civil word, or indeed a civil look, to any on +board. + +The tooth-drawer, who, as I said before, was one of great eminence among +her neighbors, refused to follow the ship; so that my man made himself +the best of his way, and with some difficulty came up with us before we +were got under full sail; for after that, as we had both wind and tide +with us, he would have found it impossible to overtake the ship till she +was come to an anchor at Gravesend. + +The morning was fair and bright, and we had a passage thither, I think, +as pleasant as can be conceived: for, take it with all its advantages, +particularly the number of fine ships you are always sure of seeing by +the way, there is nothing to equal it in all the rivers of the world. +The yards of Deptford and of Woolwich are noble sights, and give us a +just idea of the great perfection to which we are arrived in building +those floating castles, and the figure which we may always make in +Europe among the other maritime powers. That of Woolwich, at least, very +strongly imprinted this idea on my mind; for there was now on the stocks +there the Royal Anne, supposed to be the largest ship ever built, and +which contains ten carriage-guns more than had ever yet equipped a +first-rate. + +It is true, perhaps, that there is more of ostentation than of real +utility in ships of this vast and unwieldy burden, which are rarely +capable of acting against an enemy; but if the building such contributes +to preserve, among other nations, the notion of the British superiority +in naval affairs, the expense, though very great, is well incurred, and +the ostentation is laudable and truly political. Indeed, I should be +sorry to allow that Holland, France, or Spain, possessed a vessel larger +and more beautiful than the largest and most beautiful of ours; for this +honor I would always administer to the pride of our sailors, who should +challenge it from all their neighbors with truth and success. And sure I +am that not our honest tars alone, but every inhabitant of this island, +may exult in the comparison, when he considers the king of Great Britain +as a maritime prince, in opposition to any other prince in Europe; but +I am not so certain that the same idea of superiority will result from +comparing our land forces with those of many other crowned heads. In +numbers they all far exceed us, and in the goodness and splendor of +their troops many nations, particularly the Germans and French, and +perhaps the Dutch, cast us at a distance; for, however we may flatter +ourselves with the Edwards and Henrys of former ages, the change of the +whole art of war since those days, by which the advantage of personal +strength is in a manner entirely lost, hath produced a change in +military affairs to the advantage of our enemies. As for our successes +in later days, if they were not entirely owing to the superior genius +of our general, they were not a little due to the superior force of his +money. Indeed, if we should arraign marshal Saxe of ostentation when +he showed his army, drawn up, to our captive general, the day after the +battle of La Val, we cannot say that the ostentation was entirely vain; +since he certainly showed him an army which had not been often equaled, +either in the number or goodness of the troops, and which, in those +respects, so far exceeded ours, that none can ever cast any reflection +on the brave young prince who could not reap the laurels of conquest in +that day; but his retreat will be always mentioned as an addition to his +glory. + +In our marine the case is entirely the reverse, and it must be our own +fault if it doth not continue so; for continue so it will as long as the +flourishing state of our trade shall support it, and this support it can +never want till our legislature shall cease to give sufficient attention +to the protection of our trade, and our magistrates want sufficient +power, ability, and honesty, to execute the laws; a circumstance not +to be apprehended, as it cannot happen till our senates and our benches +shall be filled with the blindest ignorance, or with the blackest +corruption. + +Besides the ships in the docks, we saw many on the water: the yachts +are sights of great parade, and the king's body yacht is, I believe, +unequaled in any country for convenience as well as magnificence; +both which are consulted in building and equipping her with the most +exquisite art and workmanship. + +We saw likewise several Indiamen just returned from their voyage. + +These are, I believe, the largest and finest vessels which are anywhere +employed in commercial affairs. The colliers, likewise, which are very +numerous, and even assemble in fleets, are ships of great bulk; and if +we descend to those used in the American, African, and European trades, +and pass through those which visit our own coasts, to the small craft +that lie between Chatham and the Tower, the whole forms a most pleasing +object to the eye, as well as highly warming to the heart of an +Englishman who has any degree of love for his country, or can recognize +any effect of the patriot in his constitution. Lastly, the Royal +Hospital at Greenwich, which presents so delightful a front to the +water, and doth such honor at once to its builder and the nation, to +the great skill and ingenuity of the one, and to the no less sensible +gratitude of the other, very properly closes the account of this scene; +which may well appear romantic to those who have not themselves seen +that, in this one instance, truth and reality are capable, perhaps, of +exceeding the power of fiction. When we had passed by Greenwich we saw +only two or three gentlemen's houses, all of very moderate account, till +we reached Gravesend: these are all on the Kentish shore, which affords +a much dryer, wholesomer, and pleasanter situation, than doth that of +its opposite, Essex. This circumstance, I own, is somewhat surprising +to me, when I reflect on the numerous villas that crowd the river from +Chelsea upwards as far as Shepperton, where the narrower channel affords +not half so noble a prospect, and where the continual succession of +the small craft, like the frequent repetition of all things, which have +nothing in them great, beautiful, or admirable, tire the eye, and +give us distaste and aversion, instead of pleasure. With some of these +situations, such as Barnes, Mortlake, etc., even the shore of Essex +might contend, not upon very unequal terms; but on the Kentish borders +there are many spots to be chosen by the builder which might justly +claim the preference over almost the very finest of those in Middlesex +and Surrey. + +How shall we account for this depravity in taste? for surely there are +none so very mean and contemptible as to bring the pleasure of seeing +a number of little wherries, gliding along after one another, in +competition with what we enjoy in viewing a succession of ships, with +all their sails expanded to the winds, bounding over the waves before +us. + +And here I cannot pass by another observation on the deplorable want of +taste in our enjoyments, which we show by almost totally neglecting the +pursuit of what seems to me the highest degree of amusement; this is, +the sailing ourselves in little vessels of our own, contrived only for +our ease and accommodation, to which such situations of our villas as I +have recommended would be so convenient, and even necessary. + +This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed in any perfection, would be of +the expensive kind; but such expense would not exceed the reach of a +moderate fortune, and would fall very short of the prices which are +daily paid for pleasures of a far inferior rate. + +The truth, I believe, is, that sailing in the manner I have just +mentioned is a pleasure rather unknown, or unthought of, than rejected +by those who have experienced it; unless, perhaps, the apprehension of +danger or seasickness may be supposed, by the timorous and delicate, +to make too large deductions--insisting that all their enjoyments shall +come to them pure and unmixed, and being ever ready to cry out, + + ----Nocet empta dolore voluptas. + +This, however, was my present case; for the ease and lightness which I +felt from my tapping, the gayety of the morning, the pleasant sailing +with wind and tide, and the many agreeable objects with which I was +constantly entertained during the whole way, were all suppressed and +overcome by the single consideration of my wife's pain, which continued +incessantly to torment her till we came to an anchor, when I dispatched +a messenger in great haste for the best reputed operator in Gravesend. +A surgeon of some eminence now appeared, who did not decline +tooth-drawing, though he certainly would have been offended with the +appellation of tooth-drawer no less than his brethren, the members +of that venerable body, would be with that of barber, since the late +separation between those long-united companies, by which, if the +surgeons have gained much, the barbers are supposed to have lost very +little. This able and careful person (for so I sincerely believe he is) +after examining the guilty tooth, declared that it was such a rotten +shell, and so placed at the very remotest end of the upper jaw, where it +was in a manner covered and secured by a large fine firm tooth, that he +despaired of his power of drawing it. + +He said, indeed, more to my wife, and used more rhetoric to dissuade +her from having it drawn, than is generally employed to persuade +young ladies to prefer a pain of three moments to one of three months' +continuance, especially if those young ladies happen to be past forty +and fifty years of age, when, by submitting to support a racking +torment, the only good circumstance attending which is, it is so short +that scarce one in a thousand can cry out "I feel it," they are to do a +violence to their charms, and lose one of those beautiful holders with +which alone Sir Courtly Nice declares a lady can ever lay hold of his +heart. He said at last so much, and seemed to reason so justly, that I +came over to his side, and assisted him in prevailing on my wife (for it +was no easy matter) to resolve on keeping her tooth a little longer, and +to apply palliatives only for relief. These were opium applied to the +tooth, and blisters behind the ears. + +Whilst we were at dinner this day in the cabin, on a sudden the window +on one side was beat into the room with a crash as if a twenty-pounder +had been discharged among us. We were all alarmed at the suddenness of +the accident, for which, however, we were soon able to account, for the +sash, which was shivered all to pieces, was pursued into the middle +of the cabin by the bowsprit of a little ship called a cod-smack, the +master of which made us amends for running (carelessly at best) against +us, and injuring the ship, in the sea-way; that is to say, by damning us +all to hell, and uttering several pious wishes that it had done us much +more mischief. All which were answered in their own kind and phrase +by our men, between whom and the other crew a dialogue of oaths and +scurrility was carried on as long as they continued in each other's +hearing. + +It is difficult, I think, to assign a satisfactory reason why sailors in +general should, of all others, think themselves entirely discharged from +the common bands of humanity, and should seem to glory in the language +and behavior of savages! They see more of the world, and have, most of +them, a more erudite education than is the portion of landmen of their +degree. Nor do I believe that in any country they visit (Holland itself +not excepted) they can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on +the river Thames. Is it that they think true courage (for they are the +bravest fellows upon earth) inconsistent with all the gentleness of +a humane carriage, and that the contempt of civil order springs up +in minds but little cultivated, at the same time and from the same +principles with the contempt of danger and death? Is it--? in short, it +is so; and how it comes to be so I leave to form a question in the Robin +Hood Society, or to be propounded for solution among the enigmas in the +Woman's Almanac for the next year. + +Monday, July 1.--This day Mr. Welch took his leave of me after dinner, +as did a young lady of her sister, who was proceeding with my wife to +Lisbon. They both set out together in a post-chaise for London. Soon +after their departure our cabin, where my wife and I were sitting +together, was visited by two ruffians, whose appearance greatly +corresponded with that of the sheriffs, or rather the knight-marshal's +bailiffs. One of these especially, who seemed to affect a more than +ordinary degree of rudeness and insolence, came in without any kind of +ceremony, with a broad gold lace on his hat, which was cocked with much +military fierceness on his head. An inkhorn at his buttonhole and some +papers in his hand sufficiently assured me what he was, and I asked him +if he and his companion were not custom-house officers: he answered with +sufficient dignity that they were, as an information which he seemed +to conclude would strike the hearer with awe, and suppress all further +inquiry; but, on the contrary, I proceeded to ask of what rank he was +in the custom-house, and, receiving an answer from his companion, as I +remember, that the gentleman was a riding surveyor, I replied that he +might be a riding surveyor, but could be no gentleman, for that none who +had any title to that denomination would break into the presence of +a lady without an apology or even moving his hat. He then took his +covering from his head and laid it on the table, saying, he asked +pardon, and blamed the mate, who should, he said, have informed him if +any persons of distinction were below. I told him he might guess by our +appearance (which, perhaps, was rather more than could be said with the +strictest adherence to truth) that he was before a gentleman and lady, +which should teach him to be very civil in his behavior, though we +should not happen to be of that number whom the world calls people of +fashion and distinction. However, I said, that as he seemed sensible of +his error, and had asked pardon, the lady would permit him to put +his hat on again if he chose it. This he refused with some degree of +surliness, and failed not to convince me that, if I should condescend +to become more gentle, he would soon grow more rude. I now renewed a +reflection, which I have often seen occasion to make, that there is +nothing so incongruous in nature as any kind of power with lowness of +mind and of ability, and that there is nothing more deplorable than +the want of truth in the whimsical notion of Plato, who tells us that +"Saturn, well knowing the state of human affairs, gave us kings and +rulers, not of human but divine original; for, as we make not shepherds +of sheep, nor oxherds of oxen, nor goatherds of goats, but place some of +our own kind over all as being better and fitter to govern them; in +the same manner were demons by the divine love set over us as a race +of beings of a superior order to men, and who, with great ease to +themselves, might regulate our affairs and establish peace, modesty, +freedom, and justice, and, totally destroying all sedition, might +complete the happiness of the human race. So far, at least, may even now +be said with truth, that in all states which are under the government of +mere man, without any divine assistance, there is nothing but labor and +misery to be found. From what I have said, therefore, we may at least +learn, with our utmost endeavors, to imitate the Saturnian institution; +borrowing all assistance from our immortal part, while we pay to this +the strictest obedience, we should form both our private economy and +public policy from its dictates. By this dispensation of our immortal +minds we are to establish a law and to call it by that name. But if any +government be in the hands of a single person, of the few, or of the +many, and such governor or governors shall abandon himself or themselves +to the unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or desires, unable to +restrain any passion, but possessed with an insatiable bad disease; if +such shall attempt to govern, and at the same time to trample on all +laws, there can be no means of preservation left for the wretched +people." Plato de Leg., lib. iv. p. 713, c. 714, edit. Serrani. + +It is true that Plato is here treating of the highest or sovereign power +in a state, but it is as true that his observations are general and may +be applied to all inferior powers; and, indeed, every subordinate degree +is immediately derived from the highest; and, as it is equally protected +by the same force and sanctified by the same authority, is alike +dangerous to the well-being of the subject. Of all powers, perhaps, +there is none so sanctified and protected as this which is under +our present consideration. So numerous, indeed, and strong, are the +sanctions given to it by many acts of parliament, that, having once +established the laws of customs on merchandise, it seems to have been +the sole view of the legislature to strengthen the hands and to protect +the persons of the officers who became established by those laws, +many of whom are so far from bearing any resemblance to the Saturnian +institution, and to be chosen from a degree of beings superior to the +rest of human race, that they sometimes seem industriously picked out of +the lowest and vilest orders of mankind. There is, indeed, nothing, so +useful to man in general, nor so beneficial to particular societies and +individuals, as trade. This is that alma mater at whose plentiful breast +all mankind are nourished. It is true, like other parents, she is not +always equally indulgent to all her children, but, though she gives to +her favorites a vast proportion of redundancy and superfluity, there are +very few whom she refuses to supply with the conveniences, and none with +the necessaries, of life. + +Such a benefactress as this must naturally be beloved by mankind in +general; it would be wonderful, therefore, if her interest was not +considered by them, and protected from the fraud and violence of some +of her rebellious offspring, who, coveting more than their share or more +than she thinks proper to allow them, are daily employed in meditating +mischief against her, and in endeavoring to steal from their brethren +those shares which this great alma mater had allowed them. + +At length our governor came on board, and about six in the evening +we weighed anchor, and fell down to the Nore, whither our passage was +extremely pleasant, the evening being very delightful, the moon just +past the full, and both wind and tide favorable to us. + +Tuesday, July 2.--This morning we again set sail, under all the +advantages we had enjoyed the evening before. This day we left the +shore of Essex and coasted along Kent, passing by the pleasant island of +Thanet, which is an island, and that of Sheppy, which is not an island, +and about three o 'clock, the wind being now full in our teeth, we came +to an anchor in the Downs, within two miles of Deal.--My wife, having +suffered intolerable pain from her tooth, again renewed her resolution +of having it drawn, and another surgeon was sent for from Deal, but with +no better success than the former. He likewise declined the operation, +for the same reason which had been assigned by the former: however, such +was her resolution, backed with pain, that he was obliged to make the +attempt, which concluded more in honor of his judgment than of his +operation; for, after having put my poor wife to inexpressible torment, +he was obliged to leave her tooth in statu quo; and she had now the +comfortable prospect of a long fit of pain, which might have lasted +her whole voyage, without any possibility of relief. In these pleasing +sensations, of which I had my just share, nature, overcome with fatigue, +about eight in the evening resigned her to rest--a circumstance which +would have given me some happiness, could I have known how to employ +those spirits which were raised by it; but, unfortunately for me, I +was left in a disposition of enjoying an agreeable hour without the +assistance of a companion, which has always appeared to me necessary to +such enjoyment; my daughter and her companion were both retired sea-sick +to bed; the other passengers were a rude school-boy of fourteen years +old and an illiterate Portuguese friar, who understood no language but +his own, in which I had not the least smattering. The captain was the +only person left in whose conversation I might indulge myself; but +unluckily, besides a total ignorance of everything in the world but a +ship, he had the misfortune of being so deaf, that to make him hear, I +will not say understand, my words, I must run the risk of conveying them +to the ears of my wife, who, though in another room (called, I think, +the state-room--being, indeed, a most stately apartment, capable of +containing one human body in length, if not very tall, and three bodies +in breadth), lay asleep within a yard of me. In this situation necessity +and choice were one and the same thing; the captain and I sat down +together to a small bowl of punch, over which we both soon fell fast +asleep, and so concluded the evening. + +Wednesday, July 3.--This morning I awaked at four o'clock for my +distemper seldom suffered me to sleep later. I presently got up, and had +the pleasure of enjoying the sight of a tempestuous sea for four hours +before the captain was stirring; for he loved to indulge himself in +morning slumbers, which were attended with a wind-music, much more +agreeable to the performers than to the hearers, especially such as +have, as I had, the privilege of sitting in the orchestra. At eight o +'clock the captain rose, and sent his boat on shore. I ordered my +man likewise to go in it, as my distemper was not of that kind which +entirely deprives us of appetite. Now, though the captain had well +victualled his ship with all manner of salt provisions for the voyage, +and had added great quantities of fresh stores, particularly of +vegetables, at Gravesend, such as beans and peas, which had been on +board only two days, and had possibly not been gathered above two more, +I apprehended I could provide better for myself at Deal than the ship's +ordinary seemed to promise. I accordingly sent for fresh provisions of +all kinds from the shore, in order to put off the evil day of starving +as long as possible. My man returned with most of the articles I sent +for, and I now thought myself in a condition of living a week on my own +provisions. I therefore ordered my own dinner, which I wanted nothing +but a cook to dress and a proper fire to dress it at; but those were +not to be had, nor indeed any addition to my roast mutton, except the +pleasure of the captain's company, with that of the other passengers; +for my wife continued the whole day in a state of dozing, and my other +females, whose sickness did not abate by the rolling of the ship at +anchor, seemed more inclined to empty their stomachs than to fill them. +Thus I passed the whole day (except about an hour at dinner) by myself, +and the evening concluded with the captain as the preceding one had +done; one comfortable piece of news he communicated to me, which was, +that he had no doubt of a prosperous wind in the morning; but as he did +not divulge the reasons of this confidence, and as I saw none myself +besides the wind being directly opposite, my faith in this prophecy was +not strong enough to build any great hopes upon. + +Thursday, July 4.--This morning, however, the captain seemed resolved +to fulfill his own predictions, whether the wind would or no; he +accordingly weighed anchor, and, taking the advantage of the tide when +the wind was not very boisterous, he hoisted his sails; and, as if his +power had been no less absolute over Aeolus than it was over Neptune, he +forced the wind to blow him on in its own despite. + +But as all men who have ever been at sea well know how weak such +attempts are, and want no authorities of Scripture to prove that the +most absolute power of a captain of a ship is very contemptible in the +wind's eye, so did it befall our noble commander, who, having struggled +with the wind three or four hours, was obliged to give over, and lost +in a few minutes all that he had been so long a-gaining; in short, +we returned to our former station, and once more cast anchor in the +neighborhood of Deal. + +Here, though we lay near the shore, that we might promise ourselves +all the emolument which could be derived from it, we found ourselves +deceived; and that we might with as much conveniency be out of the sight +of land; for, except when the captain launched forth his own boat, which +he did always with great reluctance, we were incapable of procuring +anything from Deal, but at a price too exorbitant, and beyond the reach +even of modern luxury--the fare of a boat from Deal, which lay at two +miles' distance, being at least three half-crowns, and, if we had been +in any distress for it, as many half-guineas; for these good people +consider the sea as a large common appendant to their manor; in which +when they find any of their fellow-creatures impounded, they conclude +that they have a full right of making them pay at their own discretion +for their deliverance: to say the truth, whether it be that men who live +on the sea-shore are of an amphibious kind, and do not entirely partake +of human nature, or whatever else may be the reason, they are so far +from taking any share in the distresses of mankind, or of being moved +with any compassion for them, that they look upon them as blessings +showered down from above, and which the more they improve to their +own use, the greater is their gratitude and piety. Thus at Gravesend +a sculler requires a shilling for going less way than he would row in +London for threepence; and at Deal a boat often brings more profit in a +day than it can produce in London in a week, or perhaps in a month; in +both places the owner of the boat founds his demand on the necessity +and distress of one who stands more or less in absolute want of +his assistance, and with the urgency of these always rises in the +exorbitancy of his demand, without ever considering that, from these +very circumstances, the power or ease of gratifying such demand is in +like proportion lessened. Now, as I am unwilling that some conclusions, +which may be, I am aware, too justly drawn from these observations, +should be imputed to human nature in general, I have endeavored to +account for them in a way more consistent with the goodness and dignity +of that nature. However it be, it seems a little to reflect on the +governors of such monsters that they do not take some means to restrain +these impositions, and prevent them from triumphing any longer in +the miseries of those who are, in many circumstances at least, their +fellow-creatures, and considering the distresses of a wretched seaman, +from his being wrecked to his being barely windbound, as a blessing sent +among them from above, and calling it by that blasphemous name. + +Friday, July 5.--This day I sent a servant on board a man-of-war that +was stationed here, with my compliments to the captain, to represent to +him the distress of the ladies, and to desire the favor of his long-boat +to conduct us to Dover, at about seven miles' distance; and at the same +time presumed to make use of a great lady's name, the wife of the first +lord commissioner of the admiralty, who would, I told him, be pleased +with any kindness shown by him towards us in our miserable condition. +And this I am convinced was true, from the humanity of the lady, though +she was entirely unknown to me. + +The captain returned a verbal answer to a long letter acquainting me +that what I desired could not be complied with, it being a favor not in +his power to grant. This might be, and I suppose was, true; but it is +as true that, if he was able to write, and had pen, ink, and paper on +board, he might have sent a written answer, and that it was the part of +a gentleman so to have done; but this is a character seldom maintained +on the watery element, especially by those who exercise any power on it. +Every commander of a vessel here seems to think himself entirely free +from all those rules of decency and civility which direct and restrain +the conduct of the members of a society on shore; and each, claiming +absolute dominion in his little wooden world, rules by his own laws and +his own discretion. I do not, indeed, know so pregnant an instance +of the dangerous consequences of absolute power, and its aptness to +intoxicate the mind, as that of those petty tyrants, who become such in +a moment, from very well-disposed and social members of that communion +in which they affect no superiority, but live in an orderly state of +legal subjection with their fellow-citizens. + +Saturday, July 6.--This morning our commander, declaring he was sure the +wind would change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide, and weighed +his anchor. His assurance, however, had the same completion, and his +endeavors the same success, with his formal trial; and he was soon +obliged to return once more to his old quarters. Just before we let go +our anchor, a small sloop, rather than submit to yield us an inch of +way, ran foul of our ship, and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinate +frolic would have cost those aboard the sloop very dear, if our +steersman had not been too generous to exert his superiority, the +certain consequence of which would have been the immediate sinking +of the other. This contention of the inferior with a might capable of +crushing it in an instant may seem to argue no small share of folly +or madness, as well as of impudence; but I am convinced there is very +little danger in it: contempt is a port to which the pride of man +submits to fly with reluctance, but those who are within it are always +in a place of the most assured security; for whosoever throws away his +sword prefers, indeed, a less honorable but much safer means of avoiding +danger than he who defends himself with it. And here we shall offer +another distinction, of the truth of which much reading and experience +have well convinced us, that as in the most absolute governments there +is a regular progression of slavery downwards, from the top to the +bottom, the mischief of which is seldom felt with any great force and +bitterness but by the next immediate degree; so in the most dissolute +and anarchical states there is as regular an ascent of what is called +rank or condition, which is always laying hold of the head of him who is +advanced but one step higher on the ladder, who might, if he did not too +much despise such efforts, kick his pursuer headlong to the bottom. We +will conclude this digression with one general and short observation, +which will, perhaps, set the whole matter in a clearer light than the +longest and most labored harangue. Whereas envy of all things most +exposes us to danger from others, so contempt of all things best secures +us from them. And thus, while the dung-cart and the sloop are always +meditating mischief against the coach and the ship, and throwing +themselves designedly in their way, the latter consider only their own +security, and are not ashamed to break the road and let the other pass +by them. + +Monday, July 8.--Having passed our Sunday without anything remarkable, +unless the catching a great number of whitings in the afternoon may +be thought so, we now set sail on Monday at six o'clock, with a little +variation of wind; but this was so very little, and the breeze itself so +small, but the tide was our best and indeed almost our only friend. This +conducted us along the short remainder of the Kentish shore. Here +we passed that cliff of Dover which makes so tremendous a figure +in Shakespeare, and which whoever reads without being giddy, must, +according to Mr. Addison's observation, have either a very good head or +a very bad, one; but which, whoever contracts any such ideas from the +sight of, must have at least a poetic if not a Shakesperian genius. +In truth, mountains, rivers, heroes, and gods owe great part of their +existence to the poets; and Greece and Italy do so plentifully abound +in the former, because they furnish so glorious a number of the latter; +who, while they bestowed immortality on every little hillock and blind +stream, left the noblest rivers and mountains in the world to share the +same obscurity with the eastern and western poets, in which they +are celebrated. This evening we beat the sea of Sussex in sight of +Dungeness, with much more pleasure than progress; for the weather was +almost a perfect calm, and the moon, which was almost at the full, +scarce suffered a single cloud to veil her from our sight. + +Tuesday, Wednesday, July 9, 10.--These two days we had much the same +fine weather, and made much the same way; but in the evening of the +latter day a pretty fresh gale sprung up at N.N.W., which brought us by +the morning in sight of the Isle of Wight. + +Thursday, July 11.--This gale continued till towards noon; when the east +end of the island bore but little ahead of us. The captain swaggered and +declared he would keep the sea; but the wind got the better of him, so +that about three he gave up the victory, and making a sudden tack stood +in for the shore, passed by Spithead and Portsmouth, and came to an +anchor at a place called Ryde on the island. + +A most tragical incident fell out this day at sea. While the ship was +under sail, but making as will appear no great way, a kitten, one of +four of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, fell from the window into +the water: an alarm was immediately given to the captain, who was then +upon deck, and received it with the utmost concern and many bitter +oaths. He immediately gave orders to the steersman in favor of the poor +thing, as he called it; the sails were instantly slackened, and all +hands, as the phrase is, employed to recover the poor animal. I was, +I own, extremely surprised at all this; less indeed at the captain's +extreme tenderness than at his conceiving any possibility of success; +for if puss had had nine thousand instead of nine lives, I concluded +they had been all lost. The boatswain, however, had more sanguine hopes, +for, having stripped himself of his jacket, breeches, and shirt, he +leaped boldly into the water, and to my great astonishment in a few +minutes returned to the ship, bearing the motionless animal in his +mouth. Nor was this, I observed, a matter of such great difficulty as +it appeared to my ignorance, and possibly may seem to that of my +fresh-water reader. The kitten was now exposed to air and sun on the +deck, where its life, of which it retained no symptoms, was despaired of +by all. + +The captain's humanity, if I may so call it, did not so totally destroy +his philosophy as to make him yield himself up to affliction on this +melancholy occasion. Having felt his loss like a man, he resolved to +show he could bear it like one; and, having declared he had rather have +lost a cask of rum or brandy, betook himself to threshing at backgammon +with the Portuguese friar, in which innocent amusement they had passed +about two-thirds of their time. + +But as I have, perhaps, a little too wantonly endeavored to raise the +tender passions of my readers in this narrative, I should think myself +unpardonable if I concluded it without giving them the satisfaction of +hearing that the kitten at last recovered, to the great joy of the good +captain, but to the great disappointment of some of the sailors, who +asserted that the drowning a cat was the very surest way of raising a +favorable wind; a supposition of which, though we have heard several +plausible accounts, we will not presume to assign the true original +reason. + +Friday, July 12.--This day our ladies went ashore at Ryde, and drank +their afternoon tea at an ale-house there with great satisfaction: here +they were regaled with fresh cream, to which they had been strangers +since they left the Downs. + +Saturday, July 13.--The wind seeming likely to continue in the same +corner where it had been almost constantly for two months together, I +was persuaded by my wife to go ashore and stay at Ryde till we sailed. +I approved the motion much; for though I am a great lover of the sea, +I now fancied there was more pleasure in breathing the fresh air of the +land; but how to get thither was the question; for, being really that +dead luggage which I considered all passengers to be in the beginning +of this narrative, and incapable of any bodily motion without external +impulse, it was in vain to leave the ship, or to determine to do it, +without the assistance of others. In one instance, perhaps, the living, +luggage is more difficult to be moved or removed than an equal or much +superior weight of dead matter; which, if of the brittle kind, may +indeed be liable to be broken through negligence; but this, by proper +care, may be almost certainly prevented; whereas the fractures to which +the living lumps are exposed are sometimes by no caution avoidable, and +often by no art to be amended. + +I was deliberating on the means of conveyance, not so much out of the +ship to the boat as out of a little tottering boat to the land; a matter +which, as I had already experienced in the Thames, was not extremely +easy, when to be performed by any other limbs than your own. Whilst I +weighed all that could suggest itself on this head, without strictly +examining the merit of the several schemes which were advanced by the +captain and sailors, and, indeed, giving no very deep attention even to +my wife, who, as well as her friend and my daughter, were exerting their +tender concern for my ease and safety, Fortune, for I am convinced she +had a hand in it, sent me a present of a buck; a present welcome enough +of itself, but more welcome on account of the vessel in which it came, +being a large hoy, which in some places would pass for a ship, and many +people would go some miles to see the sight. + +I was pretty easily conveyed on board this hoy; but to get from hence +to the shore was not so easy a task; for, however strange it may appear, +the water itself did not extend so far; an instance which seems to +explain those lines of Ovid, + + Omnia pontus erant, deerant quoque littora ponto, + +in a less tautological sense than hath generally been imputed to them. + +In fact, between the sea and the shore there was, at low water, an +impassable gulf, if I may so call it, of deep mud, which could neither +be traversed by walking nor swimming; so that for near one half of the +twenty-four hours Ryde was inaccessible by friend or foe. But as the +magistrates of this place seemed more to desire the company of the +former than to fear that of the latter, they had begun to make a small +causeway to the low-water mark, so that foot passengers might land +whenever they pleased; but as this work was of a public kind, and +would have cost a large sum of money, at least ten pounds, and +the magistrates, that is to say, the churchwardens, the overseers, +constable, and tithingman, and the principal inhabitants, had every +one of them some separate scheme of private interest to advance at the +expense of the public, they fell out among themselves; and, after having +thrown away one half of the requisite sum, resolved at least to save the +other half, and rather be contented to sit down losers themselves than +to enjoy any benefit which might bring in a greater profit to another. +Thus that unanimity which is so necessary in all public affairs became +wanting, and every man, from the fear of being a bubble to another, was, +in reality, a bubble to himself. + +However, as there is scarce any difficulty to which the strength of men, +assisted with the cunning of art, is not equal, I was at last hoisted +into a small boat, and being rowed pretty near the shore, was taken up +by two sailors, who waded with me through the mud, and placed me in a +chair on the land, whence they afterwards conveyed me a quarter of a +mile farther, and brought me to a house which seemed to bid the fairest +for hospitality of any in Ryde. + +We brought with us our provisions from the ship, so that we wanted +nothing but a fire to dress our dinner, and a room in which we might eat +it. In neither of these had we any reason to apprehend a disappointment, +our dinner consisting only of beans and bacon; and the worst apartment +in his majesty's dominions, either at home or abroad, being fully +sufficient to answer our present ideas of delicacy. + +Unluckily, however, we were disappointed in both; for when we arrived +about four at our inn, exulting in the hopes of immediately seeing our +beans smoking on the table, we had the mortification of seeing them on +the table indeed, but without that circumstance which would have made +the sight agreeable, being in the same state in which we had dispatched +them from our ship. In excuse for this delay, though we had exceeded, +almost purposely, the time appointed, and our provision had arrived +three hours before, the mistress of the house acquainted us that it was +not for want of time to dress them that they were not ready, but for +fear of their being cold or over-done before we should come; which she +assured us was much worse than waiting a few minutes for our dinner; an +observation so very just, that it is impossible to find any objection +in it; but, indeed, it was not altogether so proper at this time, for we +had given the most absolute orders to have them ready at four, and +had been ourselves, not without much care and difficulty, most +exactly punctual in keeping to the very minute of our appointment. +But tradesmen, inn-keepers, and servants, never care to indulge us in +matters contrary to our true interest, which they always know better +than ourselves; nor can any bribes corrupt them to go out of their way +while they are consulting our good in our own despite. + +Our disappointment in the other particular, in defiance of our humility, +as it was more extraordinary, was more provoking. In short, Mrs. +Francis (for that was the name of the good woman of the house) no sooner +received the news of our intended arrival than she considered more the +gentility than the humanity of her guests, and applied herself not to +that which kindles but to that which extinguishes fire, and, forgetting +to put on her pot, fell to washing her house. + +As the messenger who had brought my venison was impatient to be +dispatched, I ordered it to be brought and laid on the table in the room +where I was seated; and the table not being large enough, one side, and +that a very bloody one, was laid on the brick floor. I then ordered Mrs. +Francis to be called in, in order to give her instructions concerning +it; in particular, what I would have roasted and what baked; concluding +that she would be highly pleased with the prospect of so much money +being spent in her house as she might have now reason to expect, if +the wind continued only a few days longer to blow from the same points +whence it had blown for several weeks past. + +I soon saw good cause, I must confess, to despise my own sagacity. Mrs. +Francis, having received her orders, without making any answer, snatched +the side from the floor, which remained stained with blood, and, bidding +a servant to take up that on the table, left the room with no pleasant +countenance, muttering to herself that, "had she known the litter which +was to have been made, she would not have taken such pains to wash her +house that morning. If this was gentility, much good may it do such +gentlefolks; for her part she had no notion of it." From these murmurs +I received two hints. The one, that it was not from a mistake of +our inclination that the good woman had starved us, but from wisely +consulting her own dignity, or rather perhaps her vanity, to which our +hunger was offered up as a sacrifice. The other, that I was now sitting +in a damp room, a circumstance, though it had hitherto escaped my notice +from the color of the bricks, which was by no means to be neglected in a +valetudinary state. + +My wife, who, besides discharging excellently well her own and all +the tender offices becoming the female character; who, besides being +a faithful friend, an amiable companion, and a tender nurse, could +likewise supply the wants of a decrepit husband, and occasionally +perform his part, had, before this, discovered the immoderate attention +to neatness in Mrs. Francis, and provided against its ill consequences. +She had found, though not under the same roof, a very snug apartment +belonging to Mr. Francis, and which had escaped the mop by his wife's +being satisfied it could not possibly be visited by gentle-folks. This +was a dry, warm, oaken-floored barn, lined on both sides with wheaten +straw, and opening at one end into a green field and a beautiful +prospect. Here, without hesitation, she ordered the cloth to be laid, +and came hastily to snatch me from worse perils by water than the common +dangers of the sea. + +Mrs. Francis, who could not trust her own ears, or could not believe a +footman in so extraordinary a phenomenon, followed my wife, and asked +her if she had indeed ordered the cloth to be laid in the barn? She +answered in the affirmative; upon which Mrs. Francis declared she would +not dispute her pleasure, but it was the first time she believed that +quality had ever preferred a barn to a house. She showed at the same +time the most pregnant marks of contempt, and again lamented the labor +she had undergone, through her ignorance of the absurd taste of her +guests. + +At length we were seated in one of the most pleasant spots I believe in +the kingdom, and were regaled with our beans and bacon, in which there +was nothing deficient but the quantity. This defect was however so +deplorable that we had consumed our whole dish before we had visibly +lessened our hunger. We now waited with impatience the arrival of our +second course, which necessity, and not luxury, had dictated. This was +a joint of mutton which Mrs. Francis had been ordered to provide; but +when, being tired with expectation, we ordered our servants TO SEE FOR +SOMETHING ELSE, we were informed that there was nothing else; on which +Mrs. Francis, being summoned, declared there was no such thing as mutton +to be had at Ryde. When I expressed some astonishment at their having no +butcher in a village so situated, she answered they had a very good one, +and one that killed all sorts of meat in season, beef two or three times +a year, and mutton the whole year round; but that, it being then beans +and peas time, he killed no meat, by reason he was not sure of selling +it. This she had not thought worthy of communication, any more than that +there lived a fisherman at next door, who was then provided with plenty +of soles, and whitings, and lobsters, far superior to those which adorn +a city feast. This discovery being made by accident, we completed the +best, the pleasantest, and the merriest meal, with more appetite, +more real solid luxury, and more festivity, than was ever seen in an +entertainment at White's. + +It may be wondered at, perhaps, that Mrs. Francis should be so negligent +of providing for her guests, as she may seem to be thus inattentive +to her own interest; but this was not the case; for, having clapped a +poll-tax on our heads at our arrival, and determined at what price to +discharge our bodies from her house, the less she suffered any other to +share in the levy the clearer it came into her own pocket; and that +it was better to get twelve pence in a shilling than ten pence, which +latter would be the case if she afforded us fish at any rate. + +Thus we passed a most agreeable day owing to good appetites and good +humor; two hearty feeders which will devour with satisfaction whatever +food you place before them; whereas, without these, the elegance of St. +James's, the charde, the perigord-pie, or the ortolan, the venison, the +turtle, or the custard, may titillate the throat, but will never convey +happiness to the heart or cheerfulness to the countenance. + +As the wind appeared still immovable, my wife proposed my lying on +shore. I presently agreed, though in defiance of an act of parliament, +by which persons wandering abroad and lodging in ale-houses are +decreed to be rogues and vagabonds; and this too after having been very +singularly officious in putting that law in execution. My wife, having +reconnoitered the house, reported that there was one room in which +were two beds. It was concluded, therefore, that she and Harriot should +occupy one and myself take possession of the other. She added likewise +an ingenious recommendation of this room to one who had so long been in +a cabin, which it exactly resembled, as it was sunk down with age on one +side, and was in the form of a ship with gunwales too. + +For my own part, I make little doubt but this apartment was an ancient +temple, built with the materials of a wreck, and probably dedicated to +Neptune in honor of THE BLESSING sent by him to the inhabitants; such +blessings having in all ages been very common to them. The timber +employed in it confirms this opinion, being such as is seldom used by +ally but ship-builders. I do not find indeed any mention of this matter +in Hearn; but perhaps its antiquity was too modern to deserve his +notice. Certain it is that this island of Wight was not an early convert +to Christianity; nay, there is some reason to doubt whether it was ever +entirely converted. But I have only time to touch slightly on things +of this kind, which, luckily for us, we have a society whose peculiar +profession it is to discuss and develop. + +Sunday, July 19.--This morning early I summoned Mrs. Francis, in order +to pay her the preceding day's account. As I could recollect only two +or three articles I thought there was no necessity of pen and ink. In +a single instance only we had exceeded what the law allows gratis to a +foot-soldier on his march, viz., vinegar, salt, etc., and dressing his +meat. I found, however, I was mistaken in my calculation; for when the +good woman attended with her bill it contained as follows:-- + + L. s. d. + + Bread and beer 0 2 4 + + Wind 0 2 0 + + Rum 0 2 0 + + Dressing dinner 0 3 0 + + Tea 0 1 6 + + Firing 0 1 0 + + Lodging 0 1 6 + Servants' lodging 0 0 6 + + ----------------- + + L 0 13 10 + +Now that five people and two servants should live a day and night at a +public-house for so small a sum will appear incredible to any person in +London above the degree of a chimney-sweeper; but more astonishing will +it seem that these people should remain so long at such a house without +tasting any other delicacy than bread, small beer, a teacupful of +milk called cream, a glass of rum converted into punch by their own +materials, and one bottle of wind, of which we only tasted a single +glass though possibly, indeed, our servants drank the remainder of the +bottle. + +This wind is a liquor of English manufacture, and its flavor is thought +very delicious by the generality of the English, who drink it in great +quantities. Every seventh year is thought to produce as much as the +other six. It is then drank so plentifully that the whole nation are +in a manner intoxicated by it; and consequently very little business is +carried on at that season. It resembles in color the red wine which is +imported from Portugal, as it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, +and from this agreement in the orthography, the one is often confounded +with the other, though both are seldom esteemed by the same person. It +is to be had in every parish of the kingdom, and a pretty large quantity +is consumed in the metropolis, where several taverns are set apart +solely for the vendition of this liquor, the masters never dealing +in any other. The disagreement in our computation produced some small +remonstrance to Mrs. Francis on my side; but this received an immediate +answer: "She scorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always +frequented by the very best gentry of the island; and she had never had +a bill found fault with in her life, though she had lived upwards of +forty years in the house, and within that time the greatest gentry in +Hampshire had been at it; and that lawyer Willis never went to any +other when he came to those parts. That for her part she did not get her +livelihood by travelers, who were gone and away, and she never expected +to see them more, but that her neighbors might come again; wherefore, to +be sure, they had the only right to complain." + +She was proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed likely +to stretch the discourse to an immoderate length, when I suddenly cut +all short by paying the bill. + +This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from curiosity +than religion; they were attended by the captain in a most military +attire, with his cockade in his hat and his sword by his side. So +unusual an appearance in this little chapel drew the attention of all +present, and probably disconcerted the women, who were in dishabille, +and wished themselves dressed, for the sake of the curate, who was the +greatest of their beholders. While I was left alone I received a visit +from Mr. Francis himself, who was much more considerable as a farmer +than as an inn-holder. Indeed, he left the latter entirely to the care +of his wife, and he acted wisely, I believe, in so doing. As nothing +more remarkable passed on this day I will close it with the account of +these two characters, as far as a few days' residence could inform me of +them. If they should appear as new to the reader as they did to me, he +will not be displeased at finding them here. This amiable couple seemed +to border hard on their grand climacteric; nor indeed were they shy of +owning enough to fix their ages within a year or two of that time. They +appeared to be rather proud of having employed their time well than +ashamed of having lived so long; the only reason which I could ever +assign why some fine ladies, and fine gentlemen too, should desire to +be thought younger than they really are by the contemporaries of their +grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too hastily credit appearances, might +doubt whether they had made so good a use of their time as I would +insinuate, since there was no appearance of anything but poverty, want, +and wretchedness, about their house; nor could they produce anything +to a customer in exchange for his money but a few bottles of wind, and +spirituous liquors, and some very bad ale, to drink; with rusty bacon +and worse cheese to eat. But then it should be considered, on the other +side, that whatever they received was almost as entirely clear profit as +the blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn being the very reverse of a +coffee-house; for here you can neither sit for nothing nor have anything +for your money. + +Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the marks of +antiquity visible. Scarce anything was to be seen which had not some +scar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an utensil, it was manifest, +had been purchased within a dozen years last past; so that whatever +money had come into the house during that period at least must have +remained in it, unless it had been sent abroad for food, or other +perishable commodities; but these were supplied by a small portion of +the fruits of the farm, in which the farmer allowed he had a very good +bargain. In fact, it is inconceivable what sums may be collected by +starving only, and how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will but +be contented to live miserable. + +Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as some +apprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of his +cheerfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the contrary; and so +did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature, had a plump, round face, +with a kind of smile on it, and seemed to borrow an air of wretchedness +rather from his coat's age than from his own. + +The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more than any +possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember to have seen any +caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot, or in any other modern +writer or regimen. + +Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the learned Dr. James's +Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is a very common +food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not long since +very liberally entertained with it by the present attorney and other +eminent lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and were all made horribly sick +by it. + +But though it should not be found among our English physical writers, +we may be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks; for nothing +considerable in nature escapes their notice, though many things +considerable in them, it is to be feared, have escaped the notice of +their readers. The Greeks, then, to all such as feed too voraciously +on this diet, give the name of HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, I +suppose, translate MEN THAT EAT THEMSELVES. + +As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food, so +nothing is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only cheap +thing the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish might produce +this disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the same aversion in a +people of Ethiopia to the same cause; he calls them the fish-eaters, +and asserts that they cannot be brought to eat a single meal with the +Heautofagi by any persuasion, threat, or violence whatever, not even +though they should kill their children before their faces. + +What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting this +matter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple mistake, arising +from a very excusable ignorance; that the passions of men are capable of +swallowing food as well as their appetites; that the former, in feeding, +resemble the state of those animals who chew the cud; and therefore, +such men, in some sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as it +were to devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a meager aspect and +thin habit of body, as surely as from what is called a consumption. Our +farmer was one of these. He had no more passion than an Ichthuofagus or +Ethiopian fisher. He wished not for anything, thought not of anything; +indeed, he scarce did anything or said anything. Here I cannot be +understood strictly; for then I must describe a nonentity, whereas I +would rob him of nothing but that free agency which is the cause of all +the corruption and of all the misery of human nature. No man, indeed, +ever did more than the farmer, for he was an absolute slave to labor +all the week; but in truth, as my sagacious reader must have at first +apprehended, when I said he resigned the care of the house to his wife, +I meant more than I then expressed, even the house and all that belonged +to it; for he was really a farmer only under the direction of his wife. +In a word, so composed, so serene, so placid a countenance, I never saw; +and he satisfied himself by answering to every question he was asked, "I +don't know anything about it, sir; I leaves all that to my wife." + +Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil, have made +no composition in life, and for want of all savor must have palled every +taste; nature or fortune, or both of them, took care to provide a proper +quantity of acid in the materials that formed the wife, and to render +her a perfect helpmate for so tranquil a husband. She abounded in +whatsoever he was defective; that is to say, in almost everything. She +was indeed as vinegar to oil, or a brisk wind to a standing-pool, and +preserved all from stagnation and corruption. + +Quin the player, on taking a nice and severe survey of a +fellow-comedian, burst forth into this exclamation:--"If that fellow be +not a rogue, God Almighty doth not write a legible hand." + +Whether he guessed right or no is not worth my while to examine; certain +it is that the latter, having wrought his features into a proper harmony +to become the characters of Iago, Shylock, and others of the same cast, +gave us a semblance of truth to the observation that was sufficient +to confirm the wit of it. Indeed, we may remark, in favor of the +physiognomist, though the law has made him a rogue and vagabond, that +Nature is seldom curious in her works within, without employing some +little pains on the outside; and this more particularly in mischievous +characters, in forming which, as Mr. Derham observes, in venomous +insects, as the sting or saw of a wasp, she is sometimes wonderfully +industrious. Now, when she hath thus completely armed our hero to carry +on a war with man, she never fails of furnishing that innocent lambkin +with some means of knowing his enemy, and foreseeing his designs. Thus +she hath been observed to act in the case of a rattlesnake, which never +meditates a human prey without giving warning of his approach. This +observation will, I am convinced, hold most true, if applied to the +most venomous individuals of human insects. A tyrant, a trickster, and +a bully, generally wear the marks of their several dispositions in +their countenances; so do the vixen, the shrew, the scold, and all other +females of the like kind. But, perhaps, nature hath never afforded a +stronger example of all this than in the case of Mrs. Francis. She was a +short, squat woman; her head was closely joined to her shoulders, where +it was fixed somewhat awry; every feature of her countenance was +sharp and pointed; her face was furrowed with the smallpox; and her +complexion, which seemed to be able to turn milk to curds, not a little +resembled in color such milk as had already undergone that operation. +She appeared, indeed, to have many symptoms of a deep jaundice in her +look; but the strength and firmness of her voice overbalanced them all; +the tone of this was a sharp treble at a distance, for I seldom heard +it on the same floor, but was usually waked with it in the morning, and +entertained with it almost continually through the whole day. + +Though vocal be usually put in opposition to instrumental music, I +question whether this might not be thought to partake of the nature of +both; for she played on two instruments, which she seemed to keep for +no other use from morning till night; these were two maids, or rather +scolding-stocks, who, I suppose, by some means or other, earned their +board, and she gave them their lodging gratis, or for no other service +than to keep her lungs in constant exercise. + +She differed, as I have said, in every particular from her husband; but +very remarkably in this, that, as it was impossible to displease him, so +it was as impossible to please her; and as no art could remove a smile +from his countenance, so could no art carry it into hers. If her bills +were remonstrated against she was offended with the tacit censure of +her fair-dealing; if they were not, she seemed to regard it as a tacit +sarcasm on her folly, which might have set down larger prices with the +same success. On this lather hint she did indeed improve, for she daily +raised some of her articles. A pennyworth of fire was to-day rated at a +shilling, to-morrow at eighteen-pence; and if she dressed us two dishes +for two shillings on the Saturday, we paid half-a-crown for the cookery +of one on the Sunday; and, whenever she was paid, she never left the +room without lamenting the small amount of her bill, saying, "she knew +not how it was that others got their money by gentle-folks, but for her +part she had not the art of it." When she was asked why she complained, +when she was paid all she demanded, she answered, "she could not deny +that, nor did she know she had omitted anything; but that it was but +a poor bill for gentle-folks to pay." I accounted for all this by her +having heard, that it is a maxim with the principal inn-holders on the +continent, to levy considerable sums on their guests, who travel with +many horses and servants, though such guests should eat little or +nothing in their houses; the method being, I believe, in such cases, to +lay a capitation on the horses, and not on their masters. But she did +not consider that in most of these inns a very great degree of hunger, +without any degree of delicacy, may be satisfied; and that in all such +inns there is some appearance, at least, of provision, as well as of a +man-cook to dress it, one of the hostlers being always furnished with a +cook's cap, waistcoat, and apron, ready to attend gentlemen and ladies +on their summons; that the case therefore of such inns differed from +hers, where there was nothing to eat or to drink, and in reality no +house to inhabit, no chair to sit upon, nor any bed to lie in; that +one third or fourth part therefore of the levy imposed at inns was, in +truth, a higher tax than the whole was when laid on in the other, where, +in order to raise a small sum, a man is obliged to submit to pay as many +various ways for the same thing as he doth to the government for the +light which enters through his own window into his own house, from his +own estate; such are the articles of bread and beer, firing, eating and +dressing dinner. + +The foregoing is a very imperfect sketch of this extraordinary couple; +for everything is here lowered instead of being heightened. Those who +would see them set forth in more lively colors, and with the proper +ornaments, may read the descriptions of the Furies in some of the +classical poets, or of the Stoic philosophers in the works of Lucian. + +Monday, July 20.--This day nothing remarkable passed; Mrs. Francis +levied a tax of fourteen shillings for the Sunday. We regaled ourselves +at dinner with venison and good claret of our own; and in the afternoon, +the women, attended by the captain, walked to see a delightful scene two +miles distant, with the beauties of which they declared themselves most +highly charmed at their return, as well as with the goodness of the lady +of the mansion, who had slipped out of the way that my wife and their +company might refresh themselves with the flowers and fruits with which +her garden abounded. + +Tuesday, July 21.--This day, having paid our taxes of yesterday, we were +permitted to regale ourselves with more venison. Some of this we would +willingly have exchanged for mutton; but no such flesh was to be had +nearer than Portsmouth, from whence it would have cost more to convey +a joint to us than the freight of a Portugal ham from Lisbon to London +amounts to; for though the water-carriage be somewhat cheaper here than +at Deal, yet can you find no waterman who will go on board his boat, +unless by two or three hours' rowing he can get drunk for the residue of +the week. + +And here I have an opportunity, which possibly may not offer again, of +publishing some observations on that political economy of this nation, +which, as it concerns only the regulation of the mob, is below the +notice of our great men; though on the due regulation of this order +depend many emoluments, which the great men themselves, or at least many +who tread close on their heels, may enjoy, as well as some dangers which +may some time or other arise from introducing a pure state of anarchy +among them. I will represent the case, as it appears to me, very fairly +and impartially between the mob and their betters. The whole mischief +which infects this part of our economy arises from the vague and +uncertain use of a word called liberty, of which, as scarce any two men +with whom I have ever conversed seem to have one and the same idea, I +am inclined to doubt whether there be any simple universal notion +represented by this word, or whether it conveys any clearer or more +determinate idea than some of those old Punic compositions of syllables +preserved in one of the comedies of Plautus, but at present, as I +conceive, not supposed to be understood by any one. + +By liberty, however, I apprehend, is commonly understood the power of +doing what we please; not absolutely, for then it would be inconsistent +with law, by whose control the liberty of the freest people, except only +the Hottentots and wild Indians, must always be restrained. + +But, indeed, however largely we extend, or however moderately we +confine, the sense of the word, no politician will, I presume, contend +that it is to pervade in an equal degree, and be, with the same extent, +enjoyed by, every member of society; no such polity having been ever +found, unless among those vile people just before commemorated. Among +the Greeks and Romans the servile and free conditions were opposed to +each other; and no man who had the misfortune to be enrolled under the +former could lay any claim to liberty till the right was conveyed to him +by that master whose slave he was, either by the means of conquest, of +purchase, or of birth. + +This was the state of all the free nations in the world; and this, till +very lately, was understood to be the case of our own. + +I will not indeed say this is the case at present, the lowest class of +our people having shaken off all the shackles of their superiors, and +become not only as free, but even freer, than most of their superiors. I +believe it cannot be doubted, though perhaps we have no recent instance +of it, that the personal attendance of every man who hath three hundred +pounds per annum, in parliament, is indispensably his duty; and that, +if the citizens and burgesses of any city or borough shall choose such +a one, however reluctant he appear, he may be obliged to attend, and be +forcibly brought to his duty by the sergeant-at-arms. + +Again, there are numbers of subordinate offices, some of which are of +burden, and others of expense, in the civil government--all of which +persons who are qualified are liable to have imposed on them, may be +obliged to undertake and properly execute, notwithstanding any bodily +labor, or even danger, to which they may subject themselves, under the +penalty of fines and imprisonment; nay, and what may appear somewhat +hard, may be compelled to satisfy the losses which are eventually +incident, to that of sheriff in particular, out of their own private +fortunes; and though this should prove the ruin of a family, yet the +public, to whom the price is due, incurs no debt or obligation to +preserve its officer harmless, let his innocence appear ever so clearly. +I purposely omit the mention of those military or military duties +which our old constitution laid upon its greatest members. These might, +indeed, supply their posts with some other able-bodied men; but if no +such could have been found, the obligation nevertheless remained, and +they were compellable to serve in their own proper persons. The only +one, therefore, who is possessed of absolute liberty is the lowest +member of the society, who, if he prefers hunger, or the wild product of +the fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, with the indulgence of ease and +laziness, to a food a little more delicate, but purchased at the expense +of labor, may lay himself under a shade; nor can be forced to take the +other alternative from that which he hath, I will not affirm whether +wisely or foolishly, chosen. + +Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of the last Vagrant Act, where all +such persons are compellable to work for the usual and accustomed wages +allowed in the place; but this is a clause little known to the justices +of the peace, and least likely to be executed by those who do know it, +as they know likewise that it is formed on the ancient power of the +justices to fix and settle these wages every year, making proper +allowances for the scarcity and plenty of the times, the cheapness and +dearness of the place; and that THE USUAL AND ACCUSTOMED WAGES are words +without any force or meaning, when there are no such; but every man +spunges and raps whatever he can get; and will haggle as long and +struggle as hard to cheat his employer of twopence in a day's labor as +an honest tradesman will to cheat his customers of the same sum in a +yard of cloth or silk. + +It is a great pity then that this power, or rather this practice, was +not revived; but, this having been so long omitted that it is become +obsolete, will be best done by a new law, in which this power, as well +as the consequent power of forcing the poor to labor at a moderate +and reasonable rate, should be well considered and their execution +facilitated; for gentlemen who give their time and labor gratis, and +even voluntarily, to the public, have a right to expect that all their +business be made as easy as possible; and to enact laws without doing +this is to fill our statute-books, much too full already, still +fuller with dead letter, of no use but to the printer of the acts of +parliament. That the evil which I have here pointed at is of itself +worth redressing, is, I apprehend, no subject of dispute; for why +should any persons in distress be deprived of the assistance of their +fellow-subjects, when they are willing amply to reward them for their +labor? or, why should the lowest of the people be permitted to exact +ten times the value of their work? For those exactions increase with the +degrees of necessity in their object, insomuch that on the former side +many are horribly imposed upon, and that often in no trifling matters. +I was very well assured that at Deal no less than ten guineas was +required, and paid by the supercargo of an Indiaman, for carrying him on +board two miles from the shore when she was just ready to sail; so that +his necessity, as his pillager well understood, was absolute. Again, +many others, whose indignation will not submit to such plunder, are +forced to refuse the assistance, though they are often great sufferers +by so doing. On the latter side, the lowest of the people are encouraged +in laziness and idleness; while they live by a twentieth part of the +labor that ought to maintain them, which is diametrically opposite to +the interest of the public; for that requires a great deal to be done, +not to be paid, for a little. And moreover, they are confirmed in +habits of exaction, and are taught to consider the distresses of their +superiors as their own fair emolument. But enough of this matter, of +which I at first intended only to convey a hint to those who are alone +capable of applying the remedy, though they are the last to whom the +notice of those evils would occur, without some such monitor as myself, +who am forced to travel about the world in the form of a passenger. I +cannot but say I heartily wish our governors would attentively +consider this method of fixing the price of labor, and by that means +of compelling the poor to work, since the due execution of such powers +will, I apprehend, be found the true and only means of making them +useful, and of advancing trade from its present visibly declining state +to the height to which Sir William Petty, in his Political Arithmetic, +thinks it capable of being carried. + +In the afternoon the lady of the above-mentioned mansion called at our +inn, and left her compliments to us with Mrs. Francis, with an assurance +that while we continued wind-bound in that place, where she feared we +could be but indifferently accommodated, we were extremely welcome to +the use of anything which her garden or her house afforded. So polite a +message convinced us, in spite of some arguments to the contrary, that +we were not on the coast of Africa, or on some island where the few +savage inhabitants have little of human in them besides their form. And +here I mean nothing less than to derogate from the merit of this lady, +who is not only extremely polite in her behavior to strangers of her own +rank, but so extremely good and charitable to all her poor neighbors who +stand in need of her assistance, that she hath the universal love and +praises of all who live near her. But, in reality, how little doth the +acquisition of so valuable a character, and the full indulgence of so +worthy a disposition, cost those who possess it! Both are accomplished +by the very offals which fall from a table moderately plentiful. That +they are enjoyed therefore by so few arises truly from there being so +few who have any such disposition to gratify, or who aim at any such +character. + +Wednesday, July 22.--This morning, after having been mulcted as usual, +we dispatched a servant with proper acknowledgments of the lady's +goodness; but confined our wants entirely to the productions of her +garden. He soon returned, in company with the gardener, both richly +laden with almost every particular which a garden at this most fruitful +season of the year produces. While we were regaling ourselves with +these, towards the close of our dinner, we received orders from our +commander, who had dined that day with some inferior officers on board +a man-of-war, to return instantly to the ship; for that the wind was +become favorable and he should weigh that evening. These orders were +soon followed by the captain himself, who was still in the utmost hurry, +though the occasion of it had long since ceased; for the wind had, +indeed, a little shifted that afternoon, but was before this very +quietly set down in its old quarters. + +This last was a lucky hit for me; for, as the captain, to whose orders +we resolved to pay no obedience, unless delivered by himself, did +not return till past six, so much time seemed requisite to put up the +furniture of our bed-chamber or dining-room, for almost every article, +even to some of the chairs, were either our own or the captain's +property; so much more in conveying it as well as myself, as dead a +luggage as any, to the shore, and thence to the ship, that the night +threatened first to overtake us. A terrible circumstance to me, in my +decayed condition; especially as very heavy showers of rain, attended +with a high wind, continued to fall incessantly; the being carried +through which two miles in the dark, in a wet and open boat, seemed +little less than certain death. However, as my commander was absolute, +his orders peremptory, and my obedience necessary, I resolved to avail +myself of a philosophy which hath been of notable use to me in the +latter part of my life, and which is contained in this hemistich of +Virgil:-- + + ----Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est. + +The meaning of which, if Virgil had any, I think I rightly understood, +and rightly applied. As I was therefore to be entirely passive in my +motion, I resolved to abandon myself to the conduct of those who were to +carry me into a cart when it returned from unloading the goods. + +But before this, the captain, perceiving what had happened in the +clouds, and that the wind remained as much his enemy as ever, came +upstairs to me with a reprieve till the morning. This was, I own, very +agreeable news, and I little regretted the trouble of refurnishing my +apartment, by sending back for the goods. + +Mrs. Francis was not well pleased with this. + +As she understood the reprieve to be only till the morning, she saw +nothing but lodging to be possibly added, out of which she was to deduct +fire and candle, and the remainder, she thought, would scarce pay her +for her trouble. She exerted therefore all the ill-humor of which she +was mistress, and did all she could to thwart and perplex everything +during the whole evening. + +Thursday, July 23.--Early in the morning the captain, who had remained +on shore all night, came to visit us, and to press us to make haste on +board. "I am resolved," says he, "not to lose a moment now the wind is +coming about fair: for my own part, I never was surer of a wind in +all my life." I use his very words; nor will I presume to interpret or +comment upon them farther than by observing that they were spoke in the +utmost hurry. + +We promised to be ready as soon as breakfast was over, but this was not +so soon as was expected; for, in removing our goods the evening before, +the tea-chest was unhappily lost. Every place was immediately searched, +and many where it was impossible for it to be; for this was a loss +of much greater consequence than it may at first seem to many of my +readers. Ladies and valetudinarians do not easily dispense with the use +of this sovereign cordial in a single instance; but to undertake a long +voyage, without any probability of being supplied with it the whole way, +was above the reach of patience. And yet, dreadful as this calamity was, +it seemed unavoidable. The whole town of Ryde could not supply a single +leaf; for, as to what Mrs. Francis and the shop called by that name, it +was not of Chinese growth. It did not indeed in the least resemble tea, +either in smell or taste, or in any particular, unless in being a leaf; +for it was in truth no other than a tobacco of the mundungus species. +And as for the hopes of relief in any other port, they were not to be +depended upon, for the captain had positively declared he was sure of a +wind, and would let go his anchor no more till he arrived in the Tajo. + +When a good deal of time had been spent, most of it indeed wasted on +this occasion, a thought occurred which every one wondered at its not +having presented itself the first moment. This was to apply to the +good lady, who could not fail of pitying and relieving such distress. A +messenger was immediately despatched with an account of our misfortune, +till whose return we employed ourselves in preparatives for our +departure, that we might have nothing to do but to swallow our breakfast +when it arrived. The tea-chest, though of no less consequence to us +than the military-chest to a general, was given up as lost, or rather +as stolen, for though I would not, for the world, mention any particular +name, it is certain we had suspicions, and all, I am afraid, fell on the +same person. + +The man returned from the worthy lady with much expedition, and brought +with him a canister of tea, despatched with so true a generosity, as +well as politeness, that if our voyage had been as long again we should +have incurred no danger of being brought to a short allowance in this +most important article. At the very same instant likewise arrived +William the footman with our own tea-chest. It had been, indeed, left in +the hoy, when the other goods were re-landed, as William, when he first +heard it was missing, had suspected; and whence, had not the owner of +the hoy been unluckily out of the way, he had retrieved it soon enough +to have prevented our giving the lady an opportunity of displaying +some part of her goodness. To search the hoy was, indeed, too natural a +suggestion to have escaped any one, nor did it escape being mentioned +by many of us; but we were dissuaded from it by my wife's maid, who +perfectly well remembered she had left the chest in the bed-chamber; for +that she had never given it out of her hand in her way to or from the +hoy; but William perhaps knew the maid better, and best understood how +far she was to be believed; for otherwise he would hardly of his own +accord, after hearing her declaration, have hunted out the hoy-man, with +much pains and difficulty. Thus ended this scene, which began with such +appearance of distress, and ended with becoming the subject of mirth and +laughter. Nothing now remained but to pay our taxes, which were indeed +laid with inconceivable severity. Lodging was raised sixpence, fire in +the same proportion, and even candles, which had hitherto escaped, were +charged with a wantonness of imposition, from the beginning, and placed +under the style of oversight. We were raised a whole pound, whereas +we had only burned ten, in five nights, and the pound consisted of +twenty-four. + +Lastly, an attempt was made which almost as far exceeds human credulity +to believe as it did human patience to submit to. This was to make us +pay as much for existing an hour or two as for existing a whole day; and +dressing dinner was introduced as an article, though we left the +house before either pot or spit had approached the fire. Here I own +my patience failed me, and I became an example of the truth of the +observation, "That all tyranny and oppression may be carried too far, +and that a yoke may be made too intolerable for the neck of the tamest +slave." When I remonstrated, with some warmth, against this grievance, +Mrs. Francis gave me a look, and left the room without making any +answer. She returned in a minute, running to me with pen, ink, and +paper, in her hand, and desired me to make my own bill; "for she hoped," +she said "I did not expect that her house was to be dirtied, and her +goods spoiled and consumed for nothing. The whole is but thirteen +shillings. Can gentlefolks lie a whole night at a public-house for less? +If they can I am sure it is time to give off being a landlady: but +pay me what you please; I would have people know that I value money as +little as other folks. But I was always a fool, as I says to my husband, +and never knows which side my bread is buttered of. And yet, to be sure, +your honor shall be my warning not to be bit so again. Some folks knows +better than other some how to make their bills. Candles! why yes, to be +sure; why should not travelers pay for candles? I am sure I pays for my +candles, and the chandler pays the king's majesty for them; and if he +did not I must, so as it comes to the same thing in the end. To be sure +I am out of sixteens at present, but these burn as white and as clear, +though not quite so large. I expects my chandler here soon, or I would +send to Portsmouth, if your honor was to stay any time longer. But when +folks stays only for a wind, you knows there can be no dependence on +such!" Here she put on a little slyness of aspect, and seemed willing to +submit to interruption. I interrupted her accordingly by throwing down +half a guinea, and declared I had no more English money, which was +indeed true; and, as she could not immediately change the thirty-six +shilling pieces, it put a final end to the dispute. Mrs. Francis soon +left the room, and we soon after left the house; nor would this good +woman see us or wish us a good voyage. I must not, however, quit this +place, where we had been so ill-treated, without doing it impartial +justice, and recording what may, with the strictest truth, be said in +its favor. + +First, then, as to its situation, it is, I think, most delightful, and +in the most pleasant spot in the whole island. It is true it wants the +advantage of that beautiful river which leads from Newport to Cowes; +but the prospect here extending to the sea, and taking in Portsmouth, +Spithead, and St. Helen's, would be more than a recompense for the loss +of the Thames itself, even in the most delightful part of Berkshire or +Buckinghamshire, though another Denham, or another Pope, should unite in +celebrating it. For my own part, I confess myself so entirely fond of a +sea prospect, that I think nothing on the land can equal it; and if it +be set off with shipping, I desire to borrow no ornament from the terra +firma. A fleet of ships is, in my opinion, the noblest object which +the art of man hath ever produced; and far beyond the power of those +architects who deal in brick, in stone, or in marble. + +When the late Sir Robert Walpole, one of the best of men and of +ministers, used to equip us a yearly fleet at Spithead, his enemies of +taste must have allowed that he, at least, treated the nation with a +fine sight for their money. A much finer, indeed, than the same expense +in an encampment could have produced. For what indeed is the best idea +which the prospect of a number of huts can furnish to the mind, but of +a number of men forming themselves into a society before the art of +building more substantial houses was known? This, perhaps, would be +agreeable enough; but, in truth, there is a much worse idea ready to +step in before it, and that is of a body of cut-throats, the supports of +tyranny, the invaders of the just liberties and properties of mankind, +the plunderers of the industrious, the ravishers of the chaste, the +murderers of the innocent, and, in a word, the destroyers of the plenty, +the peace, and the safety, of their fellow-creatures. + +And what, it may be said, are these men-of-war which seem so delightful +an object to our eyes? Are they not alike the support of tyranny and +oppression of innocence, carrying with them desolation and ruin wherever +their masters please to send them? This is indeed too true; and however +the ship of war may, in its bulk and equipment, exceed the honest +merchantman, I heartily wish there was no necessity for it; for, though +I must own the superior beauty of the object on one side, I am more +pleased with the superior excellence of the idea which I can raise in +my mind on the other, while I reflect on the art and industry of mankind +engaged in the daily improvements of commerce to the mutual benefit of +all countries, and to the establishment and happiness of social life. +This pleasant village is situated on a gentle ascent from the water, +whence it affords that charming prospect I have above described. Its +soil is a gravel, which, assisted with its declivity, preserves it +always so dry that immediately after the most violent rain a fine lady +may walk without wetting her silken shoes. The fertility of the place is +apparent from its extraordinary verdure, and it is so shaded with large +and flourishing elms, that its narrow lanes are a natural grove or walk, +which, in the regularity of its plantation, vies with the power of art, +and in its wanton exuberancy greatly exceeds it. + +In a field in the ascent of this hill, about a quarter of a mile from +the sea, stands a neat little chapel. It is very small, but adequate to +the number of inhabitants; for the parish doth not seem to contain above +thirty houses. + +At about two miles distant from this parish lives that polite and good +lady to whose kindness we were so much obliged. It is placed on a hill +whose bottom is washed by the sea, and which from its eminence at top, +commands a view of great part of the island as well as it does that of +the opposite shore. This house was formerly built by one Boyce, who, +from a blacksmith at Gosport, became possessed, by great success in +smuggling, of forty thousand pound. With part of this he purchased an +estate here, and, by chance probably, fixed on this spot for building +a large house. Perhaps the convenience of carrying on his business, to +which it is so well adapted, might dictate the situation to him. We can +hardly, at least, attribute it to the same taste with which he furnished +his house, or at least his library, by sending an order to a bookseller +in London to pack him up five hundred pounds' worth of his handsomest +books. They tell here several almost incredible stories of the +ignorance, the folly, and the pride, which this poor man and his wife +discovered during the short continuance of his prosperity; for he did +not long escape the sharp eyes of the revenue solicitors, and was, by +extents from the court of Exchequer, soon reduced below his original +state to that of confinement in the Fleet. All his effects were sold, +and among the rest his books, by an auction at Portsmouth, for a +very small price; for the bookseller was now discovered to have been +perfectly a master of his trade, and, relying on Mr. Boyce's finding +little time to read, had sent him not only the most lasting wares of his +shop, but duplicates of the same, under different titles. + +His estate and house were purchased by a gentleman of these parts, whose +widow now enjoys them, and who hath improved them, particularly her +gardens, with so elegant a taste, that the painter who would assist his +imagination in the composition of a most exquisite landscape, or the +poet who would describe an earthly paradise, could nowhere furnish +themselves with a richer pattern. + +We left this place about eleven in the morning, and were again conveyed, +with more sunshine than wind, aboard our ship. + +Whence our captain had acquired his power of prophecy, when he promised +us and himself a prosperous wind, I will not determine; it is sufficient +to observe that he was a false prophet, and that the weathercocks +continued to point as before. He would not, however, so easily give up +his skill in prediction. He persevered in asserting that the wind was +changed, and, having weighed his anchor, fell down that afternoon to St. +Helen's, which was at about the distance of five miles; and whither +his friend the tide, in defiance of the wind, which was most manifestly +against him, softly wafted him in as many hours. + +Here, about seven in the evening, before which time we could not procure +it, we sat down to regale ourselves with some roasted venison, which was +much better dressed than we imagined it would be, and an excellent cold +pasty which my wife had made at Ryde, and which we had reserved uncut +to eat on board our ship, whither we all cheerfully exulted in +being returned from the presence of Mrs. Francis, who, by the exact +resemblance she bore to a fury, seemed to have been with no great +propriety settled in paradise. + +Friday, July 24.--As we passed by Spithead on the preceding evening we +saw the two regiments of soldiers who were just returned from Gibraltar +and Minorca; and this day a lieutenant belonging to one of them, who was +the captain's nephew, came to pay a visit to his uncle. He was what is +called by some a very pretty fellow; indeed, much too pretty a fellow +at his years; for he was turned of thirty-four, though his address and +conversation would have become him more before he had reached twenty. In +his conversation, it is true, there was something military enough, as it +consisted chiefly of oaths, and of the great actions and wise sayings +of Jack, and Will, and Tom of our regiment, a phrase eternally in his +mouth; and he seemed to conclude that it conveyed to all the officers +such a degree of public notoriety and importance that it entitled him +like the head of a profession, or a first minister, to be the subject +of conversation among those who had not the least personal acquaintance +with him. This did not much surprise me, as I have seen several examples +of the same; but the defects in his address, especially to the women, +were so great that they seemed absolutely inconsistent with the behavior +of a pretty fellow, much less of one in a red coat; and yet, besides +having been eleven years in the army, he had had, as his uncle informed +me, an education in France. This, I own, would have appeared to have +been absolutely thrown away had not his animal spirits, which were +likewise thrown away upon him in great abundance, borne the visible +stamp of the growth of that country. The character to which he had an +indisputable title was that of a merry fellow; so very merry was he that +he laughed at everything he said, and always before he spoke. Possibly, +indeed, he often laughed at what he did not utter, for every speech +begun with a laugh, though it did not always end with a jest. There was +no great analogy between the characters of the uncle and the nephew, +and yet they seemed entirely to agree in enjoying the honor which the +red-coat did to his family. This the uncle expressed with great pleasure +in his countenance, and seemed desirous of showing all present the honor +which he had for his nephew, who, on his side, was at some pains to +convince us of his concurring in this opinion, and at the same time of +displaying the contempt he had for the parts, as well as the occupation +of his uncle, which he seemed to think reflected some disgrace on +himself, who was a member of that profession which makes every man a +gentleman. Not that I would be understood to insinuate that the nephew +endeavored to shake off or disown his uncle, or indeed to keep him +at any distance. On the contrary, he treated him with the utmost +familiarity, often calling him Dick, and dear Dick, and old Dick, and +frequently beginning an oration with D--n me, Dick. + +All this condescension on the part of the young man was received with +suitable marks of complaisance and obligation by the old one; especially +when it was attended with evidences of the same familiarity with general +officers and other persons of rank; one of whom, in particular, I know +to have the pride and insolence of the devil himself, and who, without +some strong bias of interest, is no more liable to converse familiarly +with a lieutenant than of being mistaken in his judgment of a fool; +which was not, perhaps, so certainly the case of the worthy lieutenant, +who, in declaring to us the qualifications which recommended men to his +countenance and conversation, as well as what effectually set a bar +to all hopes of that honor, exclaimed, "No, sir, by the d-- I hate all +fools-- No, d--n me, excuse me for that. That's a little too much, old +Dick. There are two or three officers of our regiment whom I know to be +fools; but d--n me if I am ever seen in their company. If a man hath a +fool of a relation, Dick, you know he can't help that, old boy." Such +jokes as these the old man not only tools in good part, but glibly +gulped down the whole narrative of his nephew; nor did he, I am +convinced, in the least doubt of our as readily swallowing the same. +This made him so charmed with the lieutenant, that it is probable we +should have been pestered with him the whole evening, had not the north +wind, dearer to our sea-captain even than this glory of his family, +sprung suddenly up, and called aloud to him to weigh his anchor. While +this ceremony was performing, the sea-captain ordered out his boat to +row the land-captain to shore; not indeed on an uninhabited island, but +one which, in this part, looked but little better, not presenting us the +view of a single house. Indeed, our old friend, when his boat returned +on shore, perhaps being no longer able to stifle his envy of the +superiority of his nephew, told us with a smile that the young man had a +good five mile to walk before he could be accommodated with a passage to +Portsmouth. + +It appeared now that the captain had been only mistaken in the date of +his prediction, by placing the event a day earlier than it happened; for +the wind which now arose was not only favorable but brisk, and was no +sooner in reach of our sails than it swept us away by the back of the +Isle of Wight, and, having in the night carried us by Christchurch and +Peveral-point, brought us the next noon, Saturday, July 25, oft the +island of Portland, so famous for the smallness and sweetness of its +mutton, of which a leg seldom weighs four pounds. We would have bought +a sheep, but our captain would not permit it; though he needed not have +been in such a hurry, for presently the wind, I will not positively +assert in resentment of his surliness, showed him a dog's trick, and +slyly slipped back again to his summer-house in the south-west. + +The captain now grew outrageous, and, declaring open war with the wind, +took a resolution, rather more bold than wise, of sailing in defiance of +it, and in its teeth. He swore he would let go his anchor no more, but +would beat the sea while he had either yard or sail left. He accordingly +stood from the shore, and made so large a tack that before night, though +he seemed to advance but little on his way, he was got out of sight of +land. + +Towards evening the wind began, in the captain's own language, +and indeed it freshened so much, that before ten it blew a perfect +hurricane. The captain having got, as he supposed, to a safe distance, +tacked again towards the English shore; and now the wind veered a point +only in his favor, and continued to blow with such violence, that the +ship ran above eight knots or miles an hour during this whole day and +tempestuous night till bed-time. I was obliged to betake myself +once more to my solitude, for my women were again all down in their +sea-sickness, and the captain was busy on deck; for he began to grow +uneasy, chiefly, I believe, because he did not well know where he +was, and would, I am convinced, have been very glad to have been in +Portland-road, eating some sheep's-head broth. + +Having contracted no great degree of good-humor by living a whole day +alone, without a single soul to converse with, I took but ill physic to +purge it off, by a bed-conversation with the captain, who, amongst many +bitter lamentations of his fate, and protesting he had more patience +than a Job, frequently intermixed summons to the commanding officer on +the deck, who now happened to be one Morrison, a carpenter, the only +fellow that had either common sense or common civility in the ship. Of +Morrison he inquired every quarter of an hour concerning the state +of affairs: the wind, the care of the ship, and other matters of +navigation. The frequency of these summons, as well as the solicitude +with which they were made, sufficiently testified the state of the +captain's mind; he endeavored to conceal it, and would have given no +small alarm to a man who had either not learned what it is to die, or +known what it is to be miserable. And my dear wife and child must pardon +me, if what I did not conceive to be any great evil to myself I was not +much terrified with the thoughts of happening to them; in truth, I have +often thought they are both too good and too gentle to be trusted to the +power of any man I know, to whom they could possibly be so trusted. + +Can I say then I had no fear? indeed I cannot. Reader, I was afraid for +thee, lest thou shouldst have been deprived of that pleasure thou art +now enjoying; and that I should not live to draw out on paper that +military character which thou didst peruse in the journal of yesterday. + +From all these fears we were relieved, at six in the morning, by the +arrival of Mr. Morrison, who acquainted us that he was sure he beheld +land very near; for he could not see half a mile, by reason of the +haziness of the weather. This land he said was, he believed, the +Berry-head, which forms one side of Torbay: the captain declared that it +was impossible, and swore, on condition he was right, he would give him +his mother for a maid. A forfeit which became afterwards strictly due +and payable; for the captain, whipping on his night-gown, ran up without +his breeches, and within half an hour returning into the cabin, wished +me joy of our lying safe at anchor in the bay. + +Sunday, July 26.--Things now began to put on an aspect very different +from what they had lately worn; the news that the ship had almost lost +its mizzen, and that we had procured very fine clouted cream and fresh +bread and butter from the shore, restored health and spirits to our +women, and we all sat down to a very cheerful breakfast. But, however +pleasant our stay promised to be here, we were all desirous it should +be short: I resolved immediately to despatch my man into the country +to purchase a present of cider, for my friends of that which is called +Southam, as well as to take with me a hogshead of it to Lisbon; for it +is, in my opinion, much more delicious than that which is the growth +of Herefordshire. I purchased three hogsheads for five pounds ten +shillings, all which I should have scarce thought worth mentioning, had +I not believed it might be of equal service to the honest farmer who +sold it me, and who is by the neighboring gentlemen reputed to deal in +the very best; and to the reader, who, from ignorance of the means of +providing better for himself, swallows at a dearer rate the juice +of Middlesex turnip, instead of that Vinum Pomonae which Mr. Giles +Leverance of Cheeshurst, near Dartmouth in Devon, will, at the price of +forty shillings per hogshead, send in double casks to any part of the +world. Had the wind been very sudden in shifting, I had lost my cider by +an attempt of a boatman to exact, according to custom. He required five +shillings for conveying my man a mile and a half to the shore, and +four more if he stayed to bring him back. This I thought to be such +insufferable impudence that I ordered him to be immediately chased from +the ship, without any answer. Indeed, there are few inconveniences that +I would not rather encounter than encourage the insolent demands of +these wretches, at the expense of my own indignation, of which I own +they are not the only objects, but rather those who purchase a paltry +convenience by encouraging them. But of this I have already spoken very +largely. I shall conclude, therefore, with the leave which this fellow +took of our ship; saying he should know it again, and would not put +off from the shore to relieve it in any distress whatever. It will, +doubtless, surprise many of my readers to hear that, when we lay at +anchor within a mile or two of a town several days together, and even in +the most temperate weather, we should frequently want fresh provisions +and herbage, and other emoluments of the shore, as much as if we had +been a hundred leagues from land. And this too while numbers of boats +were in our sight, whose owners get their livelihood by rowing people +up and down, and could be at any time summoned by a signal to our +assistance, and while the captain had a little boat of his own, with men +always ready to row it at his command. + +This, however, hath been partly accounted for already by the imposing +disposition of the people, who asked so much more than the proper price +of their labor. And as to the usefulness of the captain's boat, it +requires to be a little expatiated upon, as it will tend to lay +open some of the grievances which demand the utmost regard of our +legislature, as they affect the most valuable part of the king's +subjects--those by whom the commerce of the nation is carried into +execution. Our captain then, who was a very good and experienced seaman, +having been above thirty years the master of a vessel, part of which +he had served, so he phrased it, as commander of a privateer, and had +discharged himself with great courage and conduct, and with as great +success, discovered the utmost aversion to the sending his boat ashore +whenever we lay wind-bound in any of our harbors. This aversion did not +arise from any fear of wearing out his boat by using it, but was, in +truth, the result of experience, that it was easier to send his men +on shore than to recall them. They acknowledged him to be their master +while they remained on shipboard, but did not allow his power to extend +to the shores, where they had no sooner set their foot than every man +became sui juris, and thought himself at full liberty to return when he +pleased. Now it is not any delight that these fellows have in the fresh +air or verdant fields on the land. Every one of them would prefer +his ship and his hammock to all the sweets of Arabia the Happy; but, +unluckily for them, there are in every seaport in England certain +houses whose chief livelihood depends on providing entertainment for the +gentlemen of the jacket. For this purpose they are always well furnished +with those cordial liquors which do immediately inspire the heart with +gladness, banishing all careful thoughts, and indeed all others, +from the mind, and opening the mouth with songs of cheerfulness and +thanksgiving for the many wonderful blessings with which a seafaring +life overflows. + +For my own part, however whimsical it may appear, I confess I have +thought the strange story of Circe in the Odyssey no other than an +ingenious allegory, in which Homer intended to convey to his countrymen +the same kind of instruction which we intend to communicate to our own +in this digression. As teaching the art of war to the Greeks was the +plain design of the Iliad, so was teaching them the art of navigation +the no less manifest intention of the Odyssey. For the improvement of +this, their situation was most excellently adapted; and accordingly we +find Thucydides, in the beginning of his history, considers the Greeks +as a set of pirates or privateers, plundering each other by sea. +This being probably the first institution of commerce before the Ars +Cauponaria was invented, and merchants, instead of robbing, began to +cheat and outwit each other, and by degrees changed the Metabletic, +the only kind of traffic allowed by Aristotle in his Politics, into the +Chrematistic. + +By this allegory then I suppose Ulysses to have been the captain of a +merchant-ship, and Circe some good ale-wife, who made his crew drunk +with the spirituous liquors of those days. With this the transformation +into swine, as well as all other incidents of the fable, will notably +agree; and thus a key will be found out for unlocking the whole mystery, +and forging at least some meaning to a story which, at present, appears +very strange and absurd. + +Hence, moreover, will appear the very near resemblance between the +sea-faring men of all ages and nations; and here perhaps may be +established the truth and justice of that observation, which will occur +oftener than once in this voyage, that all human flesh is not the same +flesh, but that there is one kind of flesh of landmen, and another of +seamen. + +Philosophers, divines, and others, who have treated the gratification +of human appetites with contempt, have, among other instances, insisted +very strongly on that satiety which is so apt to overtake them even in +the very act of enjoyment. And here they more particularly deserve +our attention, as most of them may be supposed to speak from their own +experience, and very probably gave us their lessons with a full stomach. +Thus hunger and thirst, whatever delight they may afford while we are +eating and drinking, pass both away from us with the plate and the cup; +and though we should imitate the Romans, if, indeed, they were such dull +beasts, which I can scarce believe, to unload the belly like a dung-pot, +in order to fill it again with another load, yet would the pleasure be +so considerably lessened that it would scarce repay us the trouble of +purchasing it with swallowing a basin of camomile tea. A second haunch +of venison, or a second dose of turtle, would hardly allure a city +glutton with its smell. Even the celebrated Jew himself, when well +filled with calipash and calipee, goes contentedly home to tell his +money, and expects no more pleasure from his throat during the +next twenty-four hours. Hence I suppose Dr. South took that elegant +comparison of the joys of a speculative man to the solemn silence of an +Archimedes over a problem, and those of a glutton to the stillness of a +sow at her wash. A simile which, if it became the pulpit at all, could +only become it in the afternoon. Whereas in those potations which the +mind seems to enjoy, rather than the bodily appetite, there is happily +no such satiety; but the more a man drinks, the more he desires; as if, +like Mark Anthony in Dryden, his appetite increased with feeding, and +this to such an immoderate degree, ut nullus sit desiderio aut pudor +aut modus. Hence, as with the gang of Captain Ulysses, ensues so total +a transformation, that the man no more continues what he was. Perhaps +he ceases for a time to be at all; or, though he may retain the same +outward form and figure he had before, yet is his nobler part, as we are +taught to call it, so changed, that, instead of being the same man, +he scarce remembers what he was a few hours before. And this +transformation, being once obtained, is so easily preserved by the same +potations, which induced no satiety, that the captain in vain sends or +goes in quest of his crew. They know him no longer; or, if they do, +they acknowledge not his power, having indeed as entirely forgotten +themselves as if they had taken a large draught of the river of Lethe. + +Nor is the captain always sure of even finding out the place to which +Circe hath conveyed them. There are many of those houses in every +port-town. Nay, there are some where the sorceress doth not trust only +to her drugs; but hath instruments of a different kind to execute +her purposes, by whose means the tar is effectually secreted from the +knowledge and pursuit of his captain. This would, indeed, be very fatal, +was it not for one circumstance; that the sailor is seldom provided +with the proper bait for these harpies. However, the contrary sometimes +happens, as these harpies will bite at almost anything, and will snap at +a pair of silver buttons, or buckles, as surely as at the specie itself. +Nay, sometimes they are so voracious, that the very naked hook will go +down, and the jolly young sailor is sacrificed for his own sake. + +In vain, at such a season as this, would the vows of a pious heathen +have prevailed over Neptune, Aeolus, or any other marine deity. In +vain would the prayers of a Christian captain be attended with the +like success. The wind may change how it pleases while all hands are on +shore; the anchor would remain firm in the ground, and the ship would +continue in durance, unless, like other forcible prison-breakers, it +forcibly got loose for no good purpose. Now, as the favor of winds and +courts, and such like, is always to be laid hold on at the very first +motion, for within twenty-four hours all may be changed again; so, in +the former case, the loss of a day may be the loss of a voyage: for, +though it may appear to persons not well skilled in navigation, who see +ships meet and sail by each other, that the wind blows sometimes east +and west, north and south, backwards and forwards, at the same instant; +yet, certain it is that the land is so contrived, that even the same +wind will not, like the same horse, always bring a man to the end of +his journey; but, that the gale which the mariner prayed heartily for +yesterday, he may as heartily deprecate to-morrow; while all use +and benefit which would have arisen to him from the westerly wind of +to-morrow may be totally lost and thrown away by neglecting the offer of +the easterly blast which blows to-day. + +Hence ensues grief and disreputation to the innocent captain, loss and +disappointment to the worthy merchant, and not seldom great prejudice to +the trade of a nation whose manufactures are thus liable to lie unsold +in a foreign warehouse the market being forestalled by some rival +whose sailors are under a better discipline. To guard against these +inconveniences the prudent captain takes every precaution in his power; +he makes the strongest contracts with his crew, and thereby binds them +so firmly, that none but the greatest or least of men can break through +them with impunity; but for one of these two reasons, which I will not +determine, the sailor, like his brother fish the eel, is too slippery to +be held, and plunges into his element with perfect impunity. To speak a +plain truth, there is no trusting to any contract with one whom the wise +citizens of London call a bad man; for, with such a one, though your +bond be ever so strong, it will prove in the end good for nothing. + +What then is to be done in this case? What, indeed, but to call in the +assistance of that tremendous magistrate, the justice of peace, who can, +and often doth, lay good and bad men in equal durance; and, though he +seldom cares to stretch his bonds to what is great, never finds anything +too minute for their detention, but will hold the smallest reptile alive +so fast in his noose, that he can never get out till he is let drop +through it. Why, therefore, upon the breach of those contracts, should +not an immediate application be made to the nearest magistrate of this +order, who should be empowered to convey the delinquent either to ship +or to prison, at the election of the captain, to be fettered by the leg +in either place? But, as the case now stands, the condition of this poor +captain without any commission, and of this absolute commander without +any power, is much worse than we have hitherto shown it to be; for, +notwithstanding all the aforesaid contracts to sail in the good ship +the Elizabeth, if the sailor should, for better wages, find it more his +interest to go on board the better ship the Mary, either before their +setting out or on their speedy meeting in some port, he may prefer the +latter without any other danger than that of "doing what he ought not +to have done," contrary to a rule which he is seldom Christian enough to +have much at heart, while the captain is generally too good a Christian +to punish a man out of revenge only, when he is to be at a considerable +expense for so doing. There are many other deficiencies in our laws +relating to maritime affairs, and which would probably have been long +since corrected, had we any seamen in the House of Commons. Not that I +would insinuate that the legislature wants a supply of many gentlemen in +the sea-service; but, as these gentlemen are by their attendance in the +house unfortunately prevented from ever going to sea, and there learning +what they might communicate to their landed brethren, these latter +remain as ignorant in that branch of knowledge as they would be if none +but courtiers and fox-hunters had been elected into parliament, without +a single fish among them. The following seems to me to be an effect of +this kind, and it strikes me the stronger as I remember the case to have +happened, and remember it to have been dispunishable. A captain of a +trading vessel, of which he was part owner, took in a large freight of +oats at Liverpool, consigned to the market at Bearkey: this he carried +to a port in Hampshire, and there sold it as his own, and, freighting +his vessel with wheat for the port of Cadiz, in Spain, dropped it at +Oporto in his way; and there, selling it for his own use, took in a +lading of wine, with which he sailed again, and, having converted it in +the same manner, together with a large sum of money with which he was +intrusted, for the benefit of certain merchants, sold the ship and cargo +in another port, and then wisely sat down contented with the fortune +he had made, and returned to London to enjoy the remainder of his days, +with the fruits of his former labors and a good conscience. + +The sum he brought home with him consisted of near six thousand pounds, +all in specie, and most of it in that coin which Portugal distributes so +liberally over Europe. + +He was not yet old enough to be past all sense of pleasure, nor so +puffed up with the pride of his good fortune as to overlook his old +acquaintances the journeymen tailors, from among whom he had been +formerly pressed into the sea-service, and, having there laid the +foundation of his future success by his shares in prizes, had afterwards +become captain of a trading vessel, in which he purchased an interest, +and had soon begun to trade in the honorable manner above mentioned. The +captain now took up his residence at an ale-house in Drury-lane, where, +having all his money by him in a trunk, he spent about five pounds a +day among his old friends the gentlemen and ladies of those parts. The +merchant of Liverpool, having luckily had notice from a friend during +the blaze of his fortune, did, by the assistance of a justice of peace, +without the assistance of the law, recover his whole loss. The captain, +however, wisely chose to refund no more; but, perceiving with what hasty +strides Envy was pursuing his fortune, he took speedy means to retire +out of her reach, and to enjoy the rest of his wealth in an inglorious +obscurity; nor could the same justice overtake him time enough to assist +a second merchant as he had done the first. + +This was a very extraordinary case, and the more so as the ingenious +gentleman had steered entirely clear of all crimes in our law. Now, how +it comes about that a robbery so very easy to be committed, and to +which there is such immediate temptation always before the eyes of +these fellows, should receive the encouragement of impunity, is to +be accounted for only from the oversight of the legislature, as that +oversight can only be, I think, derived from the reasons I have assigned +for it. + +But I will dwell no longer on this subject. If what I have here said +should seem of sufficient consequence to engage the attention of any +man in power, and should thus be the means of applying any remedy to the +most inveterate evils, at least, I have obtained my whole desire, and +shall have lain so long wind-bound in the ports of this kingdom to some +purpose. I would, indeed, have this work--which, if I should live to +finish it, a matter of no great certainty, if indeed of any great hope +to me, will be probably the last I shall ever undertake--to produce some +better end than the mere diversion of the reader. + +Monday.--This day our captain went ashore, to dine with a gentleman who +lives in these parts, and who so exactly resembles the character given +by Homer of Axylus, that the only difference I can trace between them +is, the one, living by the highway, erected his hospitality chiefly +in favor of land-travelers; and the other, living by the water-side, +gratified his humanity by accommodating the wants of the mariner. + +In the evening our commander received a visit from a brother bashaw, who +lay wind-bound in the same harbor. This latter captain was a Swiss. He +was then master of a vessel bound to Guinea, and had formerly been +a privateering, when our own hero was employed in the same laudable +service. The honesty and freedom of the Switzer, his vivacity, in which +he was in no respect inferior to his near neighbors the French, +the awkward and affected politeness, which was likewise of French +extraction, mixed with the brutal roughness of the English tar--for he +had served under the colors of this nation and his crew had been of the +same--made such an odd variety, such a hotch-potch of character, that I +should have been much diverted with him, had not his voice, which was as +loud as a speaking-trumpet, unfortunately made my head ache. The noise +which he conveyed into the deaf ears of his brother captain, who sat on +one side of him, the soft addresses with which, mixed with awkward bows, +he saluted the ladies on the other, were so agreeably contrasted, that +a man must not only have been void of all taste of humor, and insensible +of mirth, but duller than Cibber is represented in the Dunciad, who +could be unentertained with him a little while; for, I confess, such +entertainments should always be very short, as they are very liable to +pall. But he suffered not this to happen at present; for, having +given us his company a quarter of an hour only, he retired, after many +apologies for the shortness of his visit. + +Tuesday.--The wind being less boisterous than it had hitherto been since +our arrival here, several fishing-boats, which the tempestuous weather +yesterday had prevented from working, came on board us with fish. This +was so fresh, so good in kind, and so very cheap, that we supplied +ourselves in great numbers, among which were very large soles at +fourpence a pair, and whitings of almost a preposterous size at +ninepence a score. The only fish which bore any price was a john doree, +as it is called. I bought one of at least four pounds weight for as many +shillings. It resembles a turbot in shape, but exceeds it in firmness +and flavor. The price had the appearance of being considerable when +opposed to the extraordinary cheapness of others of value, but was, in +truth, so very reasonable when estimated by its goodness, that it left +me under no other surprise than how the gentlemen of this country, not +greatly eminent for the delicacy of their taste, had discovered the +preference of the doree to all other fish: but I was informed that Mr. +Quin, whose distinguishing tooth hath been so justly celebrated, had +lately visited Plymouth, and had done those honors to the doree which +are so justly due to it from that sect of modern philosophers who, +with Sir Epicure Mammon, or Sir Epicure Quin, their head, seem more to +delight in a fish-pond than in a garden, as the old Epicureans are said +to have done. + +Unfortunately for the fishmongers of London, the doree resides only in +those seas; for, could any of this company but convey one to the temple +of luxury under the Piazza, where Macklin the high-priest daily serves +up his rich offerings to that goddess, great would be the reward of that +fishmonger, in blessings poured down upon him from the goddess, as great +would his merit be towards the high-priest, who could never be thought +to overrate such valuable incense. + +And here, having mentioned the extreme cheapness of fish in the +Devonshire sea, and given some little hint of the extreme dearness with +which this commodity is dispensed by those who deal in it in London, I +cannot pass on without throwing forth an observation or two, with the +same view with which I have scattered my several remarks through this +voyage, sufficiently satisfied in having finished my life, as I have +probably lost it, in the service of my country, from the best of +motives, though it should be attended with the worst of success. Means +are always in our power; ends are very seldom so. + +Of all the animal foods with which man is furnished, there are none so +plenty as fish. A little rivulet, that glides almost unperceived through +a vast tract of rich land, will support more hundreds with the flesh of +its inhabitants than the meadow will nourish individuals. But if this +be true of rivers, it is much truer of the sea-shores, which abound with +such immense variety of fish that the curious fisherman, after he hath +made his draught, often culls only the daintiest part and leaves the +rest of his prey to perish on the shore. If this be true it would +appear, I think, that there is nothing which might be had in such +abundance, and consequently so cheap, as fish, of which Nature seems to +have provided such inexhaustible stores with some peculiar design. In +the production of terrestrial animals she proceeds with such slowness, +that in the larger kind a single female seldom produces more than one +a-year, and this again requires three, for, or five years more to bring +it to perfection. And though the lesser quadrupeds, those of the wild +kind particularly, with the birds, do multiply much faster, yet can none +of these bear any proportion with the aquatic animals, of whom every +female matrix is furnished with an annual offspring almost exceeding the +power of numbers, and which, in many instances at least, a single year +is capable of bringing to some degree of maturity. + +What then ought in general to be so plentiful, what so cheap, as fish? +What then so properly the food of the poor? So in many places they are, +and so might they always be in great cities, which are always situated +near the sea, or on the conflux of large rivers. How comes it then, to +look no farther abroad for instances, that in our city of London the +case is so far otherwise that, except that of sprats, there is not one +poor palate in a hundred that knows the taste of fish? + +It is true indeed that this taste is generally of such excellent flavor +that it exceeds the power of French cookery to treat the palates of +the rich with anything more exquisitely delicate; so that was fish the +common food of the poor it might put them too much upon an equality with +their betters in the great article of eating, in which, at present, in +the opinion of some, the great difference in happiness between man and +man consists. But this argument I shall treat with the utmost disdain: +for if ortolans were as big as buzzards, and at the same time as plenty +as sparrows, I should hold it yet reasonable to indulge the poor with +the dainty, and that for this cause especially, that the rich would soon +find a sparrow, if as scarce as an ortolan, to be much the greater, as +it would certainly be the rarer, dainty of the two. + +Vanity or scarcity will be always the favorite of luxury; but honest +hunger will be satisfied with plenty. Not to search deeper into the +cause of the evil, I should think it abundantly sufficient to propose +the remedies of it. And, first, I humbly submit the absolute necessity +of immediately hanging all the fishmongers within the bills of +mortality; and, however it might have been some time ago the opinion of +mild and temporizing men that the evil complained of might be removed by +gentler methods, I suppose at this day there are none who do not see the +impossibility of using such with any effect. Cuncta prius tentanda +might have been formerly urged with some plausibility, but cuncta +prius tentata may now be replied: for surely, if a few monopolizing +fishmongers could defeat that excellent scheme of the Westminster +market, to the erecting which so many justices of peace, as well as +other wise and learned men, did so vehemently apply themselves, that +they might be truly said not only to have laid the whole strength of +their heads, but of their shoulders too, to the business, it would be a +vain endeavor for any other body of men to attempt to remove so stubborn +a nuisance. + +If it should be doubted whether we can bring this case within the letter +of any capital law now subsisting, I am ashamed to own it cannot; for +surely no crime better deserves such punishment; but the remedy may, +nevertheless, be immediate; and if a law was made at the beginning of +next session, to take place immediately, by which the starving thousands +of poor was declared to be felony, without benefit of clergy, the +fishmongers would be hanged before the end of the session. A second +method of filling the mouths of the poor, if not with loaves at least +with fishes, is to desire the magistrates to carry into execution one at +least out of near a hundred acts of parliament, for preserving the small +fry of the river of Thames, by which means as few fish would satisfy +thousands as may now be devoured by a small number of individuals. But +while a fisherman can break through the strongest meshes of an act +of parliament, we may be assured he will learn so to contrive his own +meshes that the smallest fry will not be able to swim through them. + +Other methods may, we doubt not, he suggested by those who shall +attentively consider the evil here hinted at; but we have dwelt too long +on it already, and shall conclude with observing that it is difficult to +affirm whether the atrocity of the evil itself, the facility of curing +it, or the shameful neglect of the cure, be the more scandalous or more +astonishing. + +After having, however, gloriously regaled myself with this food, I was +washing it down with some good claret with my wife and her friend, in +the cabin, when the captain's valet-de-chambre, head cook, house and +ship steward, footman in livery and out on't, secretary and fore-mast +man, all burst into the cabin at once, being, indeed, all but one +person, and, without saying, by your leave, began to pack half a +hogshead of small beer in bottles, the necessary consequence of which +must have been either a total stop to conversation at that cheerful +season when it is most agreeable, or the admitting that polyonymous +officer aforesaid to the participation of it. I desired him therefore to +delay his purpose a little longer, but he refused to grant my request; +nor was he prevailed on to quit the room till he was threatened with +having one bottle to pack more than his number, which then happened to +stand empty within my reach. With these menaces he retired at last, but +not without muttering some menaces on his side, and which, to our great +terror, he failed not to put into immediate execution. + +Our captain was gone to dinner this day with his Swiss brother; +and, though he was a very sober man, was a little elevated with some +champagne, which, as it cost the Swiss little or nothing, he dispensed +at his table more liberally than our hospitable English noblemen put +about those bottles, which the ingenious Peter Taylor teaches a led +captain to avoid by distinguishing by the name of that generous liquor, +which all humble companions are taught to postpone to the flavor of +methuen, or honest port. + +While our two captains were thus regaling themselves, and celebrating +their own heroic exploits with all the inspiration which the liquor, at +least, of wit could afford them, the polyonymous officer arrived, and, +being saluted by the name of Honest Tom, was ordered to sit down and +take his glass before he delivered his message; for every sailor is by +turns his captain's mate over a cann, except only that captain bashaw +who presides in a man-of-war, and who upon earth has no other mate, +unless it be another of the same bashaws. Tom had no sooner swallowed +his draught than he hastily began his narrative, and faithfully related +what had happened on board our ship; we say faithfully, though from what +happened it may be suspected that Tom chose to add perhaps only five or +six immaterial circumstances, as is always I believe the case, and may +possibly have been done by me in relating this very story, though it +happened not many hours ago. + +No sooner was the captain informed of the interruption which had been +given to his officer, and indeed to his orders, for he thought no time +so convenient as that of his absence for causing any confusion in the +cabin, than he leaped with such haste from his chair that he had like to +have broke his sword, with which he always begirt himself when he walked +out of his ship, and sometimes when he walked about in it; at the same +time, grasping eagerly that other implement called a cockade, which +modern soldiers wear on their helmets with the same view as the ancients +did their crests--to terrify the enemy he muttered something, but so +inarticulately that the word DAMN was only intelligible; he then hastily +took leave of the Swiss captain, who was too well bred to press his stay +on such an occasion, and leaped first from the ship to his boat, and +then from his boat to his own ship, with as much fierceness in his +looks as he had ever expressed on boarding his defenseless prey in the +honorable calling of a privateer. Having regained the middle deck, he +paused a moment while Tom and others loaded themselves with bottles, and +then descending into the cabin exclaimed with a thundering voice, "D--n +me, why arn't the bottles stowed in, according to my orders?" + +I answered him very mildly that I had prevented his man from doing +it, as it was at an inconvenient time to me, and as in his absence, at +least, I esteemed the cabin to be my own. "Your cabin!" repeated he many +times; "no, d--n me! 'tis my cabin. Your cabin! d--n me! I have brought +my hogs to a fair market. I suppose indeed you think it your cabin, and +your ship, by your commanding in it; but I will command in it, d--n +me! I will show the world I am the commander, and nobody but I! Did you +think I sold you the command of my ship for that pitiful thirty pounds? +I wish I had not seen you nor your thirty pounds aboard of her." He then +repeated the words thirty pounds often, with great disdain, and with a +contempt which I own the sum did not seem to deserve in my eye, either +in itself or on the present occasion; being, indeed, paid for the +freight of ---- weight of human flesh, which is above fifty per cent +dearer than the freight of any other luggage, whilst in reality it takes +up less room; in fact, no room at all. + +In truth, the sum was paid for nothing more than for a liberty to six +persons (two of them servants) to stay on board a ship while she sails +from one port to another, every shilling of which comes clear into the +captain's pocket. Ignorant people may perhaps imagine, especially when +they are told that the captain is obliged to sustain them, that their +diet at least is worth something, which may probably be now and then +so far the case as to deduct a tenth part from the net profits on this +account; but it was otherwise at present; for when I had contracted with +the captain at a price which I by no means thought moderate, I had some +content in thinking I should have no more to pay for my voyage; but I +was whispered that it was expected the passengers should find themselves +in several things; such as tea, wine, and such like; and particularly +that gentlemen should stow of the latter a much larger quantity than +they could use, in order to leave the remainder as a present to the +captain at the end of the voyage; and it was expected likewise that +gentlemen should put aboard some fresh stores, and the more of such +things were put aboard the welcomer they would be to the captain. + +I was prevailed with by these hints to follow the advice proposed; and +accordingly, besides tea and a large hamper of wine, with several hams +and tongues, I caused a number of live chickens and sheep to be conveyed +aboard; in truth, treble the quantity of provisions which would have +supported the persons I took with me, had the voyage continued three +weeks, as it was supposed, with a bare possibility, it might. + +Indeed it continued much longer; but as this was occasioned by our being +wind-bound in our own ports, it was by no means of any ill consequence +to the captain, as the additional stores of fish, fresh meat, +butter, bread, &c., which I constantly laid in, greatly exceeded the +consumption, and went some way in maintaining the ship's crew. It is +true I was not obliged to do this; but it seemed to be expected; for the +captain did not think himself obliged to do it, and I can truly say I +soon ceased to expect it of him. He had, I confess, on board a number of +fowls and ducks sufficient for a West India voyage; all of them, as he +often said, "Very fine birds, and of the largest breed." This I believe +was really the fact, and I can add that they were all arrived at the +full perfection of their size. Nor was there, I am convinced, any want +of provisions of a more substantial kind; such as dried beef, pork, +and fish; so that the captain seemed ready to perform his contract, +and amply to provide for his passengers. What I did then was not from +necessity, but, perhaps, from a less excusable motive, and was by no +means chargeable to the account of the captain. + +But, let the motive have been what it would, the consequence was still +the same; and this was such that I am firmly persuaded the whole pitiful +thirty pounds came pure and neat into the captain's pocket, and not only +so, but attended with the value of ten pound more in sundries into +the bargain. I must confess myself therefore at a loss how the epithet +PITIFUL came to be annexed to the above sum; for, not being a pitiful +price for what it was given, I cannot conceive it to be pitiful in +itself; nor do I believe it is thought by the greatest men in the +kingdom; none of whom would scruple to search for it in the dirtiest +kennel, where they had only a reasonable hope of success. How, +therefore, such a sum should acquire the idea of pitiful in the eyes +of the master of a ship seems not easy to be accounted for; since it +appears more likely to produce in him ideas of a different kind. Some +men, perhaps, are no more sincere in the contempt for it which they +express than others in their contempt of money in general; and I am the +rather inclined to this persuasion, as I have seldom heard of either +who have refused or refunded this their despised object. Besides, it is +sometimes impossible to believe these professions, as every action of +the man's life is a contradiction to it. Who can believe a tradesman who +says he would not tell his name for the profit he gets by the selling +such a parcel of goods, when he hath told a thousand lies in order to +get it? Pitiful, indeed, is often applied to an object not absolutely, +but comparatively with our expectations, or with a greater object: in +which sense it is not easy to set any bounds to the use of the word. +Thus, a handful of halfpence daily appear pitiful to a porter, and a +handful of silver to a drawer. The latter, I am convinced, at a polite +tavern, will not tell his name (for he will not give you any answer) +under the price of gold. And in this sense thirty pound may be accounted +pitiful by the lowest mechanic. + +One difficulty only seems to occur, and that is this: how comes it that, +if the profits of the meanest arts are so considerable, the professors +of them are not richer than we generally see them? One answer to this +shall suffice. Men do not become rich by what they get, but by what they +keep. He who is worth no more than his annual wages or salary, spends +the whole; he will be always a beggar let his income be what it will, +and so will be his family when he dies. This we see daily to be the case +of ecclesiastics, who, during their lives, are extremely well provided +for, only because they desire to maintain the honor of the cloth by +living like gentlemen, which would, perhaps, be better maintained by +living unlike them. + +But, to return from so long a digression, to which the use of so +improper an epithet gave occasion, and to which the novelty of the +subject allured, I will make the reader amends by concisely telling +him that the captain poured forth such a torrent of abuse that I very +hastily and very foolishly resolved to quit the ship. + +I gave immediate orders to summon a hoy to carry me that evening to +Dartmouth, without considering any consequence. Those orders I gave in +no very low voice, so that those above stairs might possibly conceive +there was more than one master in the cabin. In the same tone I likewise +threatened the captain with that which, he afterwards said, he feared +more than any rock or quicksand. Nor can we wonder at this when we are +told he had been twice obliged to bring to and cast anchor there before, +and had neither time escaped without the loss of almost his whole cargo. + +The most distant sound of law thus frightened a man who had often, I am +convinced, heard numbers of cannon roar round him with intrepidity. Nor +did he sooner see the hoy approaching the vessel than he ran down again +into the cabin, and, his rage being perfectly subsided, he tumbled on +his knees, and a little too abjectly implored for mercy. + +I did not suffer a brave man and an old man to remain a moment in this +posture, but I immediately forgave him. + +And here, that I may not be thought the sly trumpeter of my own praises, +I do utterly disclaim all praise on the occasion. Neither did the +greatness of my mind dictate, nor the force of my Christianity exact, +this forgiveness. To speak truth, I forgave him from a motive which +would make men much more forgiving if they were much wiser than they +are, because it was convenient for me so to do. + +Wednesday.--This morning the captain dressed himself in scarlet in order +to pay a visit to a Devonshire squire, to whom a captain of a ship is a +guest of no ordinary consequence, as he is a stranger and a gentleman, +who hath seen a great deal of the world in foreign parts, and knows all +the news of the times. + +The squire, therefore, was to send his boat for the captain, but a most +unfortunate accident happened; for, as the wind was extremely rough and +against the hoy, while this was endeavoring to avail itself of great +seamanship in hauling up against the wind, a sudden squall carried off +sail and yard, or at least so disabled them that they were no longer of +any use and unable to reach the ship; but the captain, from the deck, +saw his hopes of venison disappointed, and was forced either to stay on +board his ship, or to hoist forth his own long-boat, which he could not +prevail with himself to think of, though the smell of the venison had +had twenty times its attraction. He did, indeed, love his ship as his +wife, and his boats as children, and never willingly trusted the latter, +poor things! to the dangers of the sea. + +To say truth, notwithstanding the strict rigor with which he preserved +the dignity of his stations and the hasty impatience with which he +resented any affront to his person or orders, disobedience to which he +could in no instance brook in any person on board, he was one of +the best natured fellows alive. He acted the part of a father to his +sailors; he expressed great tenderness for any of them when ill, and +never suffered any the least work of supererogation to go unrewarded by +a glass of gin. He even extended his humanity, if I may so call it, +to animals, and even his cats and kittens had large shares in his +affections. + +An instance of which we saw this evening, when the cat, which had shown +it could not be drowned, was found suffocated under a feather-bed in +the cabin. I will not endeavor to describe his lamentations with more +prolixity than barely by saying they were grievous, and seemed to have +some mixture of the Irish howl in them. Nay, he carried his fondness +even to inanimate objects, of which we have above set down a pregnant +example in his demonstration of love and tenderness towards his boats +and ship. He spoke of a ship which he had commanded formerly, and which +was long since no more, which he had called the Princess of Brazil, as a +widower of a deceased wife. This ship, after having followed the honest +business of carrying goods and passengers for hire many years, did at +last take to evil courses and turn privateer, in which service, to use +his own words, she received many dreadful wounds, which he himself had +felt as if they had been his own. + +Thursday.--As the wind did not yesterday discover any purpose of +shifting, and the water in my belly grew troublesome and rendered me +short-breathed, I began a second time to have apprehensions of wanting +the assistance of a trochar when none was to be found; I therefore +concluded to be tapped again by way of precaution, and accordingly I +this morning summoned on board a surgeon from a neighboring parish, one +whom the captain greatly recommended, and who did indeed perform his +office with much dexterity. He was, I believe, likewise a man of great +judgment and knowledge in the profession; but of this I cannot speak +with perfect certainty, for, when he was going to open on the dropsy +at large and on the particular degree of the distemper under which I +labored, I was obliged to stop him short, for the wind was changed, and +the captain in the utmost hurry to depart; and to desire him, instead +of his opinion, to assist me with his execution. I was now once more +delivered from my burden, which was not indeed so great as I had +apprehended, wanting two quarts of what was let out at the last +operation. + +While the surgeon was drawing away my water the sailors were drawing up +the anchor; both were finished at the same time; we unfurled our sails +and soon passed the Berry-head, which forms the mouth of the bay. + +We had not however sailed far when the wind, which, had though with a +slow pace, kept us company about six miles, suddenly turned about, and +offered to conduct us back again; a favor which, though sorely against +the grain, we were obliged to accept. + +Nothing remarkable happened this day; for as to the firm persuasion +of the captain that he was under the spell of witchcraft, I would not +repeat it too often, though indeed he repeated it an hundred times every +day; in truth, he talked of nothing else, and seemed not only to be +satisfied in general of his being bewitched, but actually to have fixed +with good certainty on the person of the witch, whom, had he lived in +the days of Sir Matthew Hale, he would have infallibly indicted, and +very possibly have hanged, for the detestable sin of witchcraft; but +that law, and the whole doctrine that supported it, are now out of +fashion; and witches, as a learned divine once chose to express himself, +are put down by act of parliament. This witch, in the captain's opinion, +was no other than Mrs. Francis of Ryde, who, as he insinuated, out of +anger to me for not spending more money in her house than she could +produce anything to exchange for, or ally pretense to charge for, had +laid this spell on his ship. + +Though we were again got near our harbor by three in the afternoon, yet +it seemed to require a full hour or more before we could come to our +former place of anchoring, or berth, as the captain called it. On this +occasion we exemplified one of the few advantages which the travelers by +water have over the travelers by land. What would the latter often give +for the sight of one of those hospitable mansions where he is assured +THAT THERE IS GOOD ENTERTAINMENT FOR MAN AND HORSE; and where both may +consequently promise themselves to assuage that hunger which exercise is +so sure to raise in a healthy constitution. + +At their arrival at this mansion how much happier is the state of the +horse than that of the master! The former is immediately led to +his repast, such as it is, and, whatever it is, he falls to it with +appetite. But the latter is in a much worse situation. His hunger, +however violent, is always in some degree delicate, and his food +must have some kind of ornament, or, as the more usual phrase is, +of dressing, to recommend it. Now all dressing requires time, and +therefore, though perhaps the sheep might be just killed before you +came to the inn, yet in cutting him up, fetching the joint, which the +landlord by mistake said he had in the house, from the butcher at two +miles' distance, and afterwards warming it a little by the fire, two +hours at least must be consumed, while hunger, for want of better food, +preys all the time on the vitals of the man. + +How different was the case with us! we carried our provision, our +kitchen, and our cook with us, and we were at one and the same time +traveling on our road, and sitting down to a repast of fish, with which +the greatest table in London can scarce at any rate be supplied. + +Friday.--As we were disappointed of our wind, and obliged to return back +the preceding evening, we resolved to extract all the good we could out +of our misfortune, and to add considerably to our fresh stores of +meat and bread, with which we were very indifferently provided when we +hurried away yesterday. By the captain's advice we likewise laid in some +stores of butter, which we salted and potted ourselves, for our use at +Lisbon, and we had great reason afterwards to thank him for his advice. + +In the afternoon I persuaded my wife whom it was no easy matter for +me to force from my side, to take a walk on shore, whither the gallant +captain declared he was ready to attend her. Accordingly the ladies +set out, and left me to enjoy a sweet and comfortable nap after the +operation of the preceding day. + +Thus we enjoyed our separate pleasures full three hours, when we met +again, and my wife gave the foregoing account of the gentleman whom I +have before compared to Axylus, and of his habitation, to both which she +had been introduced by the captain, in the style of an old friend and +acquaintance, though this foundation of intimacy seemed to her to be no +deeper laid than in an accidental dinner, eaten many years before, at +this temple of hospitality, when the captain lay wind-bound in the same +bay. + +Saturday.--Early this morning the wind seemed inclined to change in our +favor. Our alert captain snatched its very first motion, and got under +sail with so very gentle a breeze that, as the tide was against him, he +recommended to a fishing boy to bring after him a vast salmon and some +other provisions which lay ready for him on shore. + +Our anchor was up at six, and before nine in the morning we had doubled +the Berry-head, and were arrived off Dartmouth, having gone full three +miles in as many hours, in direct opposition to the tide, which only +befriended us out of our harbor; and though the wind was perhaps our +friend, it was so very silent, and exerted itself so little in our +favor, that, like some cool partisans, it was difficult to say whether +it was with us or against us. The captain, however, declared the former +to be the case during the whole three hours; but at last he perceived +his error, or rather, perhaps, this friend, which had hitherto wavered +in choosing his side, became now more determined. The captain then +suddenly tacked about, and, asserting that he was bewitched, submitted +to return to the place from whence he came. Now, though I am as free +from superstition as any man breathing, and never did believe in +witches, notwithstanding all the excellent arguments of my lord +chief-justice Hale in their favor, and long before they were put down by +act of parliament, yet by what power a ship of burden should sail three +miles against both wind and tide, I cannot conceive, unless there was +some supernatural interposition in the case; nay, could we admit that +the wind stood neuter, the difficulty would still remain. So that +we must of necessity conclude that the ship was either bewinded or +bewitched. The captain, perhaps, had another meaning. He imagined +himself, I believe, bewitched, because the wind, instead of persevering +in its change in his favor, for change it certainly did that morning, +should suddenly return to its favorite station, and blow him back +towards the bay. But, if this was his opinion, he soon saw cause to +alter; for he had not measured half the way back when the wind again +declared in his favor, and so loudly, that there was no possibility of +being mistaken. The orders for the second tack were given, and obeyed +with much more alacrity than those had been for the first. We were all +of us indeed in high spirits on the occasion; though some of us a little +regretted the good things we were likely to leave behind us by the +fisherman's neglect; I might give it a worse name, for he faithfully +promised to execute the commission, which he had had abundant +opportunity to do; but nautica fides deserves as much to be proverbial +as ever Punica fides could formerly have done. Nay, when we consider +that the Carthaginians came from the Phoenicians who are supposed to have +produced the first mariners, we may probably see the true reason of +the adage, and it may open a field of very curious discoveries to the +antiquarian. + +We were, however, too eager to pursue our voyage to suffer anything we +left behind us to interrupt our happiness, which, indeed, many agreeable +circumstances conspired to advance. The weather was inexpressibly +pleasant, and we were all seated on the deck, when our canvas began to +swell with the wind. We had likewise in our view above thirty other sail +around us, all in the same situation. Here an observation occurred to +me, which, perhaps, though extremely obvious, did not offer itself +to every individual in our little fleet: when I perceived with what +different success we proceeded under the influence of a superior power +which, while we lay almost idle ourselves, pushed us forward on our +intended voyage, and compared this with the slow progress which we had +made in the morning, of ourselves, and without any such assistance, +I could not help reflecting how often the greatest abilities lie +wind-bound as it were in life; or, if they venture out and attempt to +beat the seas, they struggle in vain against wind and tide, and, if they +have not sufficient prudence to put back, are most probably cast away on +the rocks and quicksands which are every day ready to devour them. + +It was now our fortune to set out melioribus avibus. The wind freshened +so briskly in our poop that the shore appeared to move from us as fast +as we did from the shore. The captain declared he was sure of a wind, +meaning its continuance; but he had disappointed us so often that he had +lost all credit. However, he kept his word a little better now, and we +lost sight of our native land as joyfully, at least, as it is usual to +regain it. + +Sunday.--The next morning the captain told me he thought himself thirty +miles to the westward of Plymouth, and before evening declared that the +Lizard Point, which is the extremity of Cornwall, bore several leagues +to leeward. Nothing remarkable passed this day, except the captain's +devotion, who, in his own phrase, summoned all hands to prayers, which +were read by a common sailor upon deck, with more devout force and +address than they are commonly read by a country curate, and received +with more decency and attention by the sailors than are usually +preserved in city congregations. I am indeed assured, that if any such +affected disregard of the solemn office in which they were engaged, as +I have seen practiced by fine gentlemen and ladies, expressing a kind of +apprehension lest they should be suspected of being really in earnest +in their devotion, had been shown here, they would have contracted the +contempt of the whole audience. To say the truth, from what I observed +in the behavior of the sailors in this voyage, and on comparing it with +what I have formerly seen of them at sea and on shore, I am convinced +that on land there is nothing more idle and dissolute; in their own +element there are no persons near the level of their degree who live in +the constant practice of half so many good qualities. + +They are, for much the greater part, perfect masters of their business, +and always extremely alert, and ready in executing it, without any +regard to fatigue or hazard. The soldiers themselves are not better +disciplined nor more obedient to orders than these whilst aboard; +they submit to every difficulty which attends their calling with +cheerfulness, and no less virtues and patience and fortitude are +exercised by them every day of their lives. All these good qualities, +however, they always leave behind them on shipboard; the sailor out of +water is, indeed, as wretched an animal as the fish out of water; for +though the former hath, in common with amphibious animals, the bare +power of existing on the land, yet if he be kept there any time he never +fails to become a nuisance. The ship having had a good deal of motion +since she was last under sail, our women returned to their sickness, and +I to my solitude; having, for twenty-four hours together, scarce opened +my lips to a single person. This circumstance of being shut up within +the circumference of a few yards, with a score of human creatures, with +not one of whom it was possible to converse, was perhaps so rare as +scarce ever to have happened before, nor could it ever happen to one +who disliked it more than myself, or to myself at a season when I wanted +more food for my social disposition, or could converse less wholesomely +and happily with my own thoughts. To this accident, which fortune opened +to me in the Downs, was owing the first serious thought which I ever +entertained of enrolling myself among the voyage-writers; some of the +most amusing pages, if, indeed, there be any which deserve that name, +were possibly the production of the most disagreeable hours which ever +haunted the author. + +Monday.--At noon the captain took an observation, by which it appeared +that Ushant bore some leagues northward of us, and that we were just +entering the bay of Biscay. We had advanced a very few miles in this bay +before we were entirely becalmed: we furled our sails, as being of +no use to us while we lay in this most disagreeable situation, more +detested by the sailors than the most violent tempest: we were alarmed +with the loss of a fine piece of salt beef, which had been hung in +the sea to freshen it; this being, it seems, the strange property +of salt-water. The thief was immediately suspected, and presently +afterwards taken by the sailors. He was, indeed, no other than a huge +shark, who, not knowing when he was well off, swallowed another piece +of beef, together with a great iron crook on which it was hung, and by +which he was dragged into the ship. I should scarce have mentioned the +catching this shark, though so exactly conformable to the rules and +practice of voyage-writing, had it not been for a strange circumstance +that attended it. This was the recovery of the stolen beef out of the +shark's maw, where it lay unchewed and undigested, and whence, being +conveyed into the pot, the flesh, and the thief that had stolen it, +joined together in furnishing variety to the ship's crew. + +During this calm we likewise found the mast of a large vessel, which the +captain thought had lain at least three years in the sea. It was stuck +all over with a little shell-fish or reptile, called a barnacle, and +which probably are the prey of the rockfish, as our captain calls it, +asserting that it is the finest fish in the world; for which we are +obliged to confide entirely to his taste; for, though he struck the fish +with a kind of harping-iron, and wounded him, I am convinced, to death, +yet he could not possess himself of his body; but the poor wretch +escaped to linger out a few hours with probably great torments. + +In the evening our wind returned, and so briskly, that we ran upwards +of twenty leagues before the next day's [Tuesday's] observation, which +brought us to lat. 47 degrees 42'. The captain promised us a very speedy +passage through the bay; but he deceived us, or the wind deceived him, +for it so slackened at sunset, that it scarce carried us a mile in an +hour during the whole succeeding night. + +Wednesday.--A gale struck up a little after sunrising, which carried us +between three and four knots or miles an hour. We were this day at noon +about the middle of the bay of Biscay, when the wind once more deserted +us, and we were so entirely becalmed, that we did not advance a mile in +many hours. My fresh-water reader will perhaps conceive no unpleasant +idea from this calm; but it affected us much more than a storm could +have done; for, as the irascible passions of men are apt to swell with +indignation long after the injury which first raised them is over, so +fared it with the sea. It rose mountains high, and lifted our poor ship +up and down, backwards and forwards, with so violent an emotion, that +there was scarce a man in the ship better able to stand than myself. +Every utensil in our cabin rolled up and down, as we should have rolled +ourselves, had not our chairs been fast lashed to the floor. In this +situation, with our tables likewise fastened by ropes, the captain and +myself took our meal with some difficulty, and swallowed a little of our +broth, for we spilt much the greater part. The remainder of our dinner +being an old, lean, tame duck roasted, I regretted but little the loss +of, my teeth not being good enough to have chewed it. + +Our women, who began to creep out of their holes in the morning, retired +again within the cabin to their beds, and were no more heard of this +day, in which my whole comfort was to find by the captain's relation +that the swelling was sometimes much worse; he did, indeed, take this +occasion to be more communicative than ever, and informed me of such +misadventures that had befallen him within forty-six years at sea as +might frighten a very bold spirit from undertaking even the shortest +voyage. Were these, indeed, but universally known, our matrons of +quality would possibly be deterred from venturing their tender offspring +at sea; by which means our navy would lose the honor of many a young +commodore, who at twenty-two is better versed in maritime affairs than +real seamen are made by experience at sixty. And this may, perhaps, +appear the more extraordinary, as the education of both seems to be +pretty much the same; neither of them having had their courage tried by +Virgil's description of a storm, in which, inspired as he was, I doubt +whether our captain doth not exceed him. In the evening the wind, which +continued in the N.W., again freshened, and that so briskly that Cape +Finisterre appeared by this day's observation to bear a few miles to the +southward. We now indeed sailed, or rather flew, near ten knots an hour; +and the captain, in the redundancy of his good-humor, declared he would +go to church at Lisbon on Sunday next, for that he was sure of a +wind; and, indeed, we all firmly believed him. But the event again +contradicted him; for we were again visited by a calm in the evening. + +But here, though our voyage was retarded, we were entertained with a +scene, which as no one can behold without going to sea, so no one can +form an idea of anything equal to it on shore. We were seated on the +deck, women and all, in the serenest evening that can be imagined. Not +a single cloud presented itself to our view, and the sun himself was the +only object which engrossed our whole attention. He did indeed set +with a majesty which is incapable of description, with which, while +the horizon was yet blazing with glory, our eyes were called off to the +opposite part to survey the moon, which was then at full, and which in +rising presented us with the second object that this world hath offered +to our vision. Compared to these the pageantry of theaters, or splendor +of courts, are sights almost below the regard of children. We did +not return from the deck till late in the evening; the weather being +inexpressibly pleasant, and so warm that even my old distemper perceived +the alteration of the climate. There was indeed a swell, but nothing +comparable to what we had felt before, and it affected us on the deck +much less than in the cabin. + +Friday.--The calm continued till sun-rising, when the wind likewise +arose, but unluckily for us it came from a wrong quarter; it was S.S.E., +which is that very wind which Juno would have solicited of Aeolus, had +Gneas been in our latitude bound for Lisbon. + +The captain now put on his most melancholy aspect, and resumed his +former opinion that he was bewitched. He declared with great solemnity +that this was worse and worse, for that a wind directly in his teeth +was worse than no wind at all. Had we pursued the course which the wind +persuaded us to take we had gone directly for Newfoundland, if we had +not fallen in with Ireland in our way. Two ways remained to avoid +this; one was to put into a port of Galicia; the other, to beat to the +westward with as little sail as possible: and this was our captain's +election. + +As for us, poor passengers, any port would have been welcome to us; +especially, as not only our fresh provisions, except a great number of +old ducks and fowls, but even our bread was come to an end, and nothing +but sea-biscuit remained, which I could not chew. So that now for the +first time in my life I saw what it was to want a bit of bread. + +The wind however was not so unkind as we had apprehended; but, having +declined with the sun, it changed at the approach of the moon, and +became again favorable to us, though so gentle that the next day's +observation carried us very little to the southward of Cape Finisterre. +This evening at six the wind, which had been very quiet all day, rose +very high, and continuing in our favor drove us seven knots an hour. + +This day we saw a sail, the only one, as I heard of, we had seen in +our whole passage through the bay. I mention this on account of what +appeared to me somewhat extraordinary. Though she was at such a distance +that I could only perceive she was a ship, the sailors discovered that +she was a snow, bound to a port in Galicia. + +Sunday.--After prayers, which our good captain read on the deck with +an audible voice, and with but one mistake, of a lion for Elias, in +the second lesson for this day, we found ourselves far advanced in 42 +degrees, and the captain declared we should sup off Porte. We had not +much wind this day; but, as this was directly in our favor, we made it +up with sail, of which we crowded all we had. We went only at the rate +of four miles an hour, but with so uneasy a motion, continuing rolling +from side to side, that I suffered more than I had done in our whole +voyage; my bowels being almost twisted out of my belly. However, the day +was very serene and bright, and the captain, who was in high spirits, +affirmed he had never passed a pleasanter at sea. + +The wind continued so brisk that we ran upward of six knots an hour the +whole night. + +Monday.--In the morning our captain concluded that he was got into +lat. 40 degrees, and was very little short of the Burlings, as they are +called in the charts. We came up with them at five in the afternoon, +being the first land we had distinctly seen since we left Devonshire. +They consist of abundance of little rocky islands, a little distant from +the shore, three of them only showing themselves above the water. + +Here the Portuguese maintain a kind of garrison, if we may allow it that +name. It consists of malefactors, who are banished hither for a term, +for divers small offenses--a policy which they may have copied from +the Egyptians, as we may read in Diodorus Siculus. That wise people, to +prevent the corruption of good manners by evil communication, built a +town on the Red Sea, whither they transported a great number of their +criminals, having first set an indelible mark on them, to prevent their +returning and mixing with the sober part of their citizens. These +rocks lie about fifteen leagues northwest of Cape Roxent, or, as it +is commonly called, the Rock of Lisbon, which we passed early the next +morning. The wind, indeed, would have carried us thither sooner; but the +captain was not in a hurry, as he was to lose nothing by his delay. + +Tuesday.--This is a very high mountain, situated on the northern side of +the mouth of the river Tajo, which, rising about Madrid, in Spain, and +soon becoming navigable for small craft, empties itself, after a long +course, into the sea, about four leagues below Lisbon. + +On the summit of the rock stands a hermitage, which is now in the +possession of an Englishman, who was formerly master of a vessel trading +to Lisbon; and, having changed his religion and his manners, the latter +of which, at least, were none of the best, betook himself to this +place, in order to do penance for his sins. He is now very old, and hath +inhabited this hermitage for a great number of years, during which he +hath received some countenance from the royal family, and particularly +from the present queen dowager, whose piety refuses no trouble or +expense by which she may make a proselyte, being used to say that the +saving one soul would repay all the endeavors of her life. Here we +waited for the tide, and had the pleasure of surveying the face of the +country, the soil of which, at this season, exactly resembles an +old brick-kiln, or a field where the green sward is pared up and set +a-burning, or rather a smoking, in little heaps to manure the land. This +sight will, perhaps, of all others, make an Englishman proud of, and +pleased with, his own country, which in verdure excels, I believe, +every other country. Another deficiency here is the want of large trees, +nothing above a shrub being here to be discovered in the circumference +of many miles. + +At this place we took a pilot on board, who, being the first Portuguese +we spoke to, gave us an instance of that religious observance which is +paid by all nations to their laws; for, whereas it is here a capital +offense to assist any person in going on shore from a foreign vessel +before it hath been examined, and every person in it viewed by the +magistrates of health, as they are called, this worthy pilot, for a very +small reward, rowed the Portuguese priest to shore at this place, beyond +which he did not dare to advance, and in venturing whither he had given +sufficient testimony of love for his native country. + +We did not enter the Tajo till noon, when, after passing several old +castles and other buildings which had greatly the aspect of ruins, we +came to the castle of Bellisle, where we had a full prospect of Lisbon, +and were, indeed, within three miles of it. + +Here we were saluted with a gun, which was a signal to pass no farther +till we had complied with certain ceremonies which the laws of this +country require to be observed by all ships which arrive in this port. +We were obliged then to cast anchor, and expect the arrival of the +officers of the customs, without whose passport no ship must proceed +farther than this place. + +Here likewise we received a visit from one of those magistrates of +health before mentioned. He refused to come on board the ship till every +person in her had been drawn up on deck and personally viewed by him. +This occasioned some delay on my part, as it was not the work of a +minute to lift me from the cabin to the deck. The captain thought my +particular case might have been excused from this ceremony, and that +it would be abundantly sufficient if the magistrate, who was obliged +afterwards to visit the cabin, surveyed me there. But this did not +satisfy the magistrate's strict regard to his duty. When he was told +of my lameness, he called out, with a voice of authority, "Let him +be brought up," and his orders were presently complied with. He was, +indeed, a person of great dignity, as well as of the most exact fidelity +in the discharge of his trust. Both which are the more admirable as his +salary is less than thirty pounds English per annum. + +Before a ship hath been visited by one of those magistrates no person +can lawfully go on board her, nor can any on board depart from her. This +I saw exemplified in a remarkable instance. The young lad whom I have +mentioned as one of our passengers was here met by his father, who, on +the first news of the captain's arrival, came from Lisbon to Bellisle +in a boat, being eager to embrace a son whom he had not seen for many +years. But when he came alongside our ship neither did the father dare +ascend nor the son descend, as the magistrate of health had not yet been +on board. Some of our readers will, perhaps, admire the great caution of +this policy, so nicely calculated for the preservation of this country +from all pestilential distempers. Others will as probably regard it as +too exact and formal to be constantly persisted in, in seasons of the +utmost safety, as well as in times of danger. I will not decide either +way, but will content myself with observing that I never yet saw or +heard of a place where a traveler had so much trouble given him at his +landing as here. The only use of which, as all such matters begin and +end in form only, is to put it into the power of low and mean fellows +to be either rudely officious or grossly corrupt, as they shall see +occasion to prefer the gratification of their pride or of their avarice. + +Of this kind, likewise, is that power which is lodged with other +officers here, of taking away every grain of snuff and every leaf +of tobacco brought hither from other countries, though only for the +temporary use of the person during his residence here. This is executed +with great insolence, and, as it is in the hands of the dregs of the +people, very scandalously; for, under pretense of searching for tobacco +and snuff, they are sure to steal whatever they can find, insomuch that +when they came on board our sailors addressed us in the Covent-garden +language: "Pray, gentlemen and ladies, take care of your swords and +watches." Indeed, I never yet saw anything equal to the contempt and +hatred which our honest tars every moment expressed for these Portuguese +officers. + +At Bellisle lies buried Catharine of Arragon, widow of prince Arthur, +eldest son of our Henry VII, afterwards married to, and divorced from +Henry VIII. Close by the church where her remains are deposited is +a large convent of Geronymites, one of the most beautiful piles of +building in all Portugal. + +In the evening, at twelve, our ship, having received previous visits +from all the necessary parties, took the advantage of the tide, and +having sailed up to Lisbon cast anchor there, in a calm and moonshiny +night, which made the passage incredibly pleasant to the women, who +remained three hours enjoying it, whilst I was left to the cooler +transports of enjoying their pleasures at second-hand; and yet, cooler +as they may be, whoever is totally ignorant of such sensation is, at the +same time, void of all ideas of friendship. + +Wednesday.--Lisbon, before which we now lay at anchor, is said to be +built on the same number of hills with old Rome; but these do not all +appear to the water; on the contrary, one sees from thence one vast high +hill and rock, with buildings arising above one another, and that in so +steep and almost perpendicular a manner, that they all seem to have but +one foundation. + +As the houses, convents, churches, &c., are large, and all built with +white stone, they look very beautiful at a distance; but as you approach +nearer, and find them to want every kind of ornament, all idea of beauty +vanishes at once. While I was surveying the prospect of this city, +which bears so little resemblance to any other that I have ever seen, a +reflection occurred to me that, if a man was suddenly to be removed from +Palmyra hither, and should take a view of no other city, in how +glorious a light would the ancient architecture appear to him! and what +desolation and destruction of arts and sciences would he conclude had +happened between the several eras of these cities! + +I had now waited full three hours upon deck for the return of my man, +whom I had sent to bespeak a good dinner (a thing which had been long +unknown to me) on shore, and then to bring a Lisbon chaise with him to +the seashore; but it seems the impertinence of the providore was not yet +brought to a conclusion. At three o'clock, when I was from emptiness, +rather faint than hungry, my man returned, and told me there was a new +law lately made that no passenger should set his foot on shore without +a special order from the providore, and that he himself would have +been sent to prison for disobeying it, had he not been protected as the +servant of the captain. He informed me likewise that the captain had +been very industrious to get this order, but that it was then the +providore's hour of sleep, a time when no man, except the king himself, +durst disturb him. + +To avoid prolixity, though in a part of my narrative which may be more +agreeable to my reader than it was to me, the providore, having at last +finished his nap, dispatched this absurd matter of form, and gave me +leave to come, or rather to be carried, on shore. + +What it was that gave the first hint of this strange law is not easy +to guess. Possibly, in the infancy of their defection, and before their +government could be well established, they were willing to guard +against the bare possibility of surprise, of the success of which bare +possibility the Trojan horse will remain for ever on record, as a great +and memorable example. Now the Portuguese have no walls to secure them, +and a vessel of two or three hundred tons will contain a much larger +body of troops than could be concealed in that famous machine, though +Virgil tells us (somewhat hyperbolically, I believe) that it was as big +as a mountain. + +About seven in the evening I got into a chaise on shore, and was driven +through the nastiest city in the world, though at the same time one of +the most populous, to a kind of coffee-house, which is very pleasantly +situated on the brow of a hill, about a mile from the city, and hath +a very fine prospect of the river Tajo from Lisbon to the sea. Here we +regaled ourselves with a good supper, for which we were as well charged +as if the bill had been made on the Bath-road, between Newbury and +London. + +And now we could joyfully say, + + Egressi optata Troes potiuntur arena. + +Therefore, in the words of Horace, + + --hie Finis chartaeque viaeque. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon, by Henry Fielding + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON *** + +***** This file should be named 1146.txt or 1146.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/4/1146/ + +Produced by Charles Keller + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Scanned by Charles Keller with +OmniPage Professional OCR software +donated by Caere Corporation, 1-800-535-7226. +Contact Mike Lough <Mikel@caere.com> + + + + + +THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + +by Henry Fielding + + + + +CONTENTS + +INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS +PREFACE +DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC + +INTRODUCTION TO THE VOYAGE TO LISBON +THE VOYAGE + + + +INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS + +When it was determined to extend the present edition of Fielding, +not merely by the addition of Jonathan Wild to the three +universally popular novels, but by two volumes of Miscellanies, +there could be no doubt about at least one of the contents of +these latter. The Journal of a Voyage to Lisbon, if it does not +rank in my estimation anywhere near to Jonathan Wild as an +example of our author's genius, is an invaluable and delightful +document for his character and memory. It is indeed, as has been +pointed out in the General Introduction to this series, our main +source of indisputable information as to Fielding dans son +naturel, and its value, so far as it goes, is of the very +highest. The gentle and unaffected stoicism which the author +displays under a disease which he knew well was probably, if not +certainly, mortal, and which, whether mortal or not, must cause +him much actual pain and discomfort of a kind more intolerable +than pain itself; his affectionate care for his family; even +little personal touches, less admirable, but hardly less pleasant +than these, showing an Englishman's dislike to be "done" and an +Englishman's determination to be treated with proper respect, are +scarcely less noticeable and important on the biographical side +than the unimpaired brilliancy of his satiric and yet kindly +observation of life and character is on the side of literature. + +There is, as is now well known since Mr. Dobson's separate +edition of the Voyage, a little bibliographical problem about the +first appearance of this Journal in 1755. The best known issue +of that year is much shorter than the version inserted by Murphy +and reprinted here, the passages omitted being chiefly those +reflecting on the captain, etc., and so likely to seem invidious +in a book published just after the author's death, and for the +benefit, as was expressly announced, of his family. But the +curious thing is that there is ANOTHER edition, of date so early +that some argument is necessary to determine the priority, which +does give these passages and is identical with the later or +standard version. For satisfaction on this point, however, I +must refer readers to Mr. Dobson himself. + +There might have been a little, but not much, doubt as to a +companion piece for the Journal; for indeed, after we close this +(with or without its "Fragment on Bolingbroke"), the remainder of +Fielding's work lies on a distinctly lower level of interest. It +is still interesting, or it would not be given here. It still +has--at least that part which here appears seems to its editor to +have--interest intrinsic and "simple of itself." But it is +impossible for anybody who speaks critically to deny that we now +get into the region where work is more interesting because of its +authorship than it would be if its authorship were different or +unknown. To put the same thing in a sharper antithesis, Fielding +is interesting, first of all, because he is the author of Joseph +Andrews, of Tom Jones, of Amelia, of Jonathan Wild, of the +Journal. His plays, his essays, his miscellanies generally are +interesting, first of all, because they were written by Fielding. + +Yet of these works, the Journey from this World to the Next +(which, by a grim trick of fortune, might have served as a title +for the more interesting Voyage with which we have yoked it) +stands clearly first both in scale and merit. It is indeed very +unequal, and as the author was to leave it unfinished, it is a +pity that he did not leave it unfinished much sooner than he +actually did. The first ten chapters, if of a kind of satire +which has now grown rather obsolete for the nonce, are of a good +kind and good in their kind; the history of the metempsychoses of +Julian is of a less good kind, and less good in that kind. The +date of composition of the piece is not known, but it appeared in +the Miscellanies of 1743, and may represent almost any period of +its author's development prior to that year. Its form was a very +common form at the time, and continued to be so. I do not know +that it is necessary to assign any very special origin to it, +though Lucian, its chief practitioner, was evidently and almost +avowedly a favorite study of Fielding's. The Spanish romancers, +whether borrowing it from Lucian or not, had been fond of it; +their French followers, of whom the chief were Fontenelle and Le +Sage, had carried it northwards; the English essayists had almost +from the beginning continued the process of acclimatization. +Fielding therefore found it ready to his hand, though the present +condition of this example would lead us to suppose that he did +not find his hand quite ready to it. Still, in the actual +"journey," there are touches enough of the master--not yet quite +in his stage of mastery. It seemed particularly desirable not to +close the series without some representation of the work to which +Fielding gave the prime of his manhood, and from which, had he +not, fortunately for English literature, been driven decidedly +against his will, we had had in all probability no Joseph +Andrews, and pretty certainly no Tom Jones. Fielding's +periodical and dramatic work has been comparatively seldom +reprinted, and has never yet been reprinted as a whole. The +dramas indeed are open to two objections--the first, that they +are not very "proper;" the second, and much more serious, that +they do not redeem this want of propriety by the possession of +any remarkable literary merit. Three (or two and part of a +third) seemed to escape this double censure--the first two acts +of the Author's Farce (practically a piece to themselves, for the +Puppet Show which follows is almost entirely independent); the +famous burlesque of Tom Thumb, which stands between the Rehearsal +and the Critic, but nearer to the former; and Pasquin, the +maturest example of Fielding's satiric work in drama. These +accordingly have been selected; the rest I have read, and he who +likes may read. I have read many worse things than even the +worst of them, but not often worse things by so good a writer as +Henry Fielding. The next question concerned the selection of +writings more miscellaneous still, so as to give in little a +complete idea of Fielding's various powers and experiments. Two +difficulties beset this part of the task--want of space and the +absence of anything so markedly good as absolutely to insist on +inclusion. The Essay on Conversation, however, seemed pretty +peremptorily to challenge a place. It is in a style which +Fielding was very slow to abandon, which indeed has left strong +traces even on his great novels; and if its mannerism is not now +very attractive, the separate traits in it are often sharp and +well-drawn. The book would not have been complete without a +specimen or two of Fielding's journalism. The Champion, his +first attempt of this kind, has not been drawn upon in +consequence of the extreme difficulty of fixing with absolute +certainty on Fielding's part in it. I do not know whether +political prejudice interferes, more than I have usually found it +interfere, with my judgment of the two Hanoverian-partisan papers +of the '45 time. But they certainly seem to me to fail in +redeeming their dose of rancor and misrepresentation by any +sufficient evidence of genius such as, to my taste, saves not +only the party journalism in verse and prose of Swift and Canning +and Praed on one side, but that of Wolcot and Moore and Sydney +Smith on the other. Even the often-quoted journal of events in +London under the Chevalier is overwrought and tedious. The best +thing in the True Patriot seems to me to be Parson Adams' letter +describing his adventure with a young "bowe" of his day; and this +I select, together with one or two numbers of the Covent Garden +Journal. I have not found in this latter anything more +characteristic than Murphy's selection, though Mr. Dobson, with +his unfailing kindness, lent me an original and unusually +complete set of the Journal itself. + +It is to the same kindness that I owe the opportunity of +presenting the reader with something indisputably Fielding's and +very characteristic of him, which Murphy did not print, and which +has not, so far as I know, ever appeared either in a collection +or a selection of Fielding's work. After the success of David +Simple, Fielding gave his sister, for whom he had already written +a preface to that novel, another preface for a set of Familiar +Letters between the characters of David Simple and others. This +preface Murphy reprinted; but he either did not notice, or did +not choose to attend to, a note towards the end of the book +attributing certain of the letters to the author of the preface, +the attribution being accompanied by an agreeably warm and +sisterly denunciation of those who ascribed to Fielding matter +unworthy of him. From these the letter which I have chosen, +describing a row on the Thames, seems to me not only +characteristic, but, like all this miscellaneous work, +interesting no less for its weakness than for its strength. In +hardly any other instance known to me can we trace so clearly the +influence of a suitable medium and form on the genius of the +artist. There are some writers--Dryden is perhaps the greatest +of them--to whom form and medium seem almost indifferent, their +all-round craftsmanship being such that they can turn any kind +and every style to their purpose. There are others, of whom I +think our present author is the chief, who are never really at +home but in one kind. In Fielding's case that kind was narrative +of a peculiar sort, half-sentimental, half-satirical, and almost +wholly sympathetic--narrative which has the singular gift of +portraying the liveliest character and yet of admitting the +widest disgression and soliloquy. + +Until comparatively late in his too short life, when he found +this special path of his (and it is impossible to say whether the +actual finding was in the case of Jonathan or in the case of +Joseph), he did but flounder and slip. When he had found it, and +was content to walk in it, he strode with as sure and steady a +step as any other, even the greatest, of those who carry and hand +on the torch of literature through the ages. But it is +impossible to derive full satisfaction from his feats in this +part of the race without some notion of his performances +elsewhere; and I believe that such a notion will be supplied to +the readers of his novels by the following volumes, in a very +large number of cases, for the first time. + + + + + + + +THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + +DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC + +Your candor is desired on the perusal of the following sheets, as +they are the product of a genius that has long been your delight +and entertainment. It must be acknowledged that a lamp almost +burnt out does not give so steady and uniform a light as when it +blazes in its full vigor; but yet it is well known that by its +wavering, as if struggling against its own dissolution, it +sometimes darts a ray as bright as ever. In like manner, a +strong and lively genius will, in its last struggles, sometimes +mount aloft, and throw forth the most striking marks of its +original luster. + +Wherever these are to be found, do you, the genuine patrons of +extraordinary capacities, be as liberal in your applauses of him +who is now no more as you were of him whilst he was yet amongst +you. And, on the other hand, if in this little work there should +appear any traces of a weakened and decayed life, let your own +imaginations place before your eyes a true picture in that of a +hand trembling in almost its latest hour, of a body emaciated +with pains, yet struggling for your entertainment; and let this +affecting picture open each tender heart, and call forth a +melting tear, to blot out whatever failings may be found in a +work begun in pain, and finished almost at the same period with +life. It was thought proper by the friends of the deceased that +this little piece should come into your hands as it came from the +hands of the author, it being judged that you would be better +pleased to have an opportunity of observing the faintest traces +of a genius you have long admired, than have it patched by a +different hand, by which means the marks of its true author might +have been effaced. That the success of the last written, though +first published, volume of the author's posthumous pieces may be +attended with some convenience to those innocents he hath left +behind, will no doubt be a motive to encourage its circulation +through the kingdom, which will engage every future genius to +exert itself for your pleasure. The principles and spirit which +breathe in every line of the small fragment begun in answer to +Lord Bolingbroke will unquestionably be a sufficient apology for +its publication, although vital strength was wanting to finish a +work so happily begun and so well designed. PREFACE THERE would +not, perhaps, be a more pleasant or profitable study, among those +which have their principal end in amusement, than that of travels +or voyages, if they were wrote as they might be and ought to be, +with a joint view to the entertainment and information of +mankind. If the conversation of travelers be so eagerly sought +after as it is, we may believe their books will be still more +agreeable company, as they will in general be more instructive +and more entertaining. But when I say the conversation of +travelers is usually so welcome, I must be understood to mean +that only of such as have had good sense enough to apply their +peregrinations to a proper use, so as to acquire from them a real +and valuable knowledge of men and things, both which are best +known by comparison. If the customs and manners of men were +everywhere the same, there would be no office so dull as that of +a traveler, for the difference of hills, valleys, rivers, in +short, the various views of which we may see the face of the +earth, would scarce afford him a pleasure worthy of his labor; +and surely it would give him very little opportunity of +communicating any kind of entertainment or improvement to others. + +To make a traveler an agreeable companion to a man of sense, it +is necessary, not only that he should have seen much, but that he +should have overlooked much of what he hath seen. Nature is not, +any more than a great genius, always admirable in her +productions, and therefore the traveler, who may be called her +commentator, should not expect to find everywhere subjects worthy +of his notice. It is certain, indeed, that one may be guilty of +omission, as well as of the opposite extreme; but a fault on that +side will be more easily pardoned, as it is better to be hungry +than surfeited; and to miss your dessert at the table of a man +whose gardens abound with the choicest fruits, than to have your +taste affronted with every sort of trash that can be picked up at +the green-stall or the wheel-barrow. If we should carry on the +analogy between the traveler and the commentator, it is +impossible to keep one's eye a moment off from the laborious +much-read doctor Zachary Gray, of whose redundant notes on +Hudibras I shall only say that it is, I am confident, the single +book extant in which above five hundred authors are quoted, not +one of which could be found in the collection of the late doctor Mead. + +As there are few things which a traveler is to record, there are +fewer on which he is to offer his observations: this is the +office of the reader; and it is so pleasant a one, that he seldom +chooses to have it taken from him, under the pretense of lending +him assistance. Some occasions, indeed, there are, when proper +observations are pertinent, and others when they are necessary; +but good sense alone must point them out. I shall lay down only +one general rule; which I believe to be of universal truth +between relator and hearer, as it is between author and reader; +this is, that the latter never forgive any observation of the +former which doth not convey some knowledge that they are +sensible they could not possibly have attained of themselves. + +But all his pains in collecting knowledge, all his judgment in +selecting, and all his art in communicating it, will not suffice, +unless he can make himself, in some degree, an agreeable as well +as an instructive companion. The highest instruction we can +derive from the tedious tale of a dull fellow scarce ever pays us +for our attention. There is nothing, I think, half so valuable +as knowledge, and yet there is nothing which men will give +themselves so little trouble to attain; unless it be, perhaps, +that lowest degree of it which is the object of curiosity, and +which hath therefore that active passion constantly employed in +its service. This, indeed, it is in the power of every traveler +to gratify; but it is the leading principle in weak minds only. + +To render his relation agreeable to the man of sense, it is +therefore necessary that the voyager should possess several +eminent and rare talents; so rare indeed, that it is almost +wonderful to see them ever united in the same person. And if all +these talents must concur in the relator, they are certainly in a +more eminent degree necessary to the writer; for here the +narration admits of higher ornaments of style, and every fact and +sentiment offers itself to the fullest and most deliberate +examination. It would appear, therefore, I think, somewhat +strange if such writers as these should be found extremely +common; since nature hath been a most parsimonious distributor of +her richest talents, and hath seldom bestowed many on the same +person. But, on the other hand, why there should scarce exist a +single writer of this kind worthy our regard; and, whilst there +is no other branch of history (for this is history) which hath +not exercised the greatest pens, why this alone should be +overlooked by all men of great genius and erudition, and +delivered up to the Goths and Vandals as their lawful property, +is altogether as difficult to determine. And yet that this is +the case, with some very few exceptions, is most manifest. Of +these I shall willingly admit Burnet and Addison; if the former +was not, perhaps, to be considered as a political essayist, and +the latter as a commentator on the classics, rather than as a +writer of travels; which last title, perhaps, they would both of +them have been least ambitious to affect. Indeed, if these two +and two or three more should be removed from the mass, there +would remain such a heap of dullness behind, that the appellation +of voyage-writer would not appear very desirable. I am not here +unapprised that old Homer himself is by some considered as a +voyage-writer; and, indeed, the beginning of his Odyssey may be +urged to countenance that opinion, which I shall not controvert. +But, whatever species of writing the Odyssey is of, it is surely +at the head of that species, as much as the Iliad is of another; +and so far the excellent Longinus would allow, I believe, at this day. + +But, in reality, the Odyssey, the Telemachus, and all of that +kind, are to the voyage-writing I here intend, what romance is to +true history, the former being the confounder and corrupter of +the latter. I am far from supposing that Homer, Hesiod, and the +other ancient poets and mythologists, had any settled design to +pervert and confuse the records of antiquity; but it is certain +they have effected it; and for my part I must confess I should +have honored and loved Homer more had he written a true history +of his own times in humble prose, than those noble poems that +have so justly collected the praise of all ages; for, though I +read these with more admiration and astonishment, I still read +Herodotus, Thucydides, and Xenophon with more amusement and more +satisfaction. The original poets were not, however, without +excuse. They found the limits of nature too straight for the +immensity of their genius, which they had not room to exert +without extending fact by fiction: and that especially at a time +when the manners of men were too simple to afford that variety +which they have since offered in vain to the choice of the +meanest writers. In doing this they are again excusable for the +manner in which they have done it. + + +Ut speciosa dehine miracula promant. + + +They are not, indeed, so properly said to turn reality into +fiction, as fiction into reality. Their paintings are so bold, +their colors so strong, that everything they touch seems to exist +in the very manner they represent it; their portraits are so +just, and their landscapes so beautiful, that we acknowledge the +strokes of nature in both, without inquiring whether Nature +herself, or her journeyman the poet, formed the first pattern of +the piece. But other writers (I will put Pliny at their head) +have no such pretensions to indulgence; they lie for lying sake, +or in order insolently to impose the most monstrous +improbabilities and absurdities upon their readers on their own +authority; treating them as some fathers treat children, and as +other fathers do laymen, exacting their belief of whatever they +relate, on no other foundation than their own authority, without +ever taking the pains or adapting their lies to human credulity, +and of calculating them for the meridian of a common +understanding; but, with as much weakness as wickedness, and with +more impudence often than either, they assert facts contrary to +the honor of God, to the visible order of the creation, to the +known laws of nature, to the histories of former ages, and to the +experience of our own, and which no man can at once understand +and believe. If it should be objected (and it can nowhere be +objected better than where I now write,[12] as there is nowhere +more pomp of bigotry) that whole nations have been firm believers +in such most absurd suppositions, I reply, the fact is not true. +They have known nothing of the matter, and have believed they +knew not what. It is, indeed, with me no matter of doubt but +that the pope and his clergy might teach any of those Christian +heterodoxies, the tenets of which are the most diametrically +opposite to their own; nay, all the doctrines of Zoroaster, +Confucius, and Mahomet, not only with certain and immediate +success, but without one Catholic in a thousand knowing he had +changed his religion. + +[12] At Lisbon. + + +What motive a man can have to sit down, and to draw forth a list +of stupid, senseless, incredible lies upon paper, would be +difficult to determine, did not Vanity present herself so +immediately as the adequate cause. The vanity of knowing more +than other men is, perhaps, besides hunger, the only inducement +to writing, at least to publishing, at all. Why then should not +the voyage-writer be inflamed with the glory of having seen what +no man ever did or will see but himself? This is the true source +of the wonderful in the discourse and writings, and sometimes, I +believe, in the actions of men. There is another fault, of a +kind directly opposite to this, to which these writers are +sometimes liable, when, instead of filling their pages with +monsters which nobody hath ever seen, and with adventures which +never have, nor could possibly have, happened to them, waste +their time and paper with recording things and facts of so common +a kind, that they challenge no other right of being remembered +than as they had the honor of having happened to the author, to +whom nothing seems trivial that in any manner happens to himself. + +Of such consequence do his own actions appear to one of this +kind, that he would probably think himself guilty of infidelity +should he omit the minutest thing in the detail of his journal. +That the fact is true is sufficient to give it a place there, +without any consideration whether it is capable of pleasing or +surprising, of diverting or informing, the reader. I have seen a +play (if I mistake not it is one of Mrs. Behn's or of Mrs. +Centlivre's) where this vice in a voyage-writer is finely +ridiculed. An ignorant pedant, to whose government, for I know +not what reason, the conduct of a young nobleman in his travels +is committed, and who is sent abroad to show my lord the world, +of which he knows nothing himself, before his departure from a +town, calls for his Journal to record the goodness of the wine +and tobacco, with other articles of the same importance, which +are to furnish the materials of a voyage at his return home. The +humor, it is true, is here carried very far; and yet, perhaps, +very little beyond what is to be found in writers who profess no +intention of dealing in humor at all. Of one or other, or both +of these kinds, are, I conceive, all that vast pile of books +which pass under the names of voyages, travels, adventures, +lives, memoirs, histories, etc., some of which a single traveler +sends into the world in many volumes, and others are, by +judicious booksellers, collected into vast bodies in folio, and +inscribed with their own names, as if they were indeed their own +travels: thus unjustly attributing to themselves the merit of others. + +Now, from both these faults we have endeavored to steer clear in +the following narrative; which, however the contrary may be +insinuated by ignorant, unlearned, and fresh-water critics, who +have never traveled either in books or ships, I do solemnly +declare doth, in my own impartial opinion, deviate less from +truth than any other voyage extant; my lord Anson's alone being, +perhaps, excepted. Some few embellishments must be allowed to +every historian; for we are not to conceive that the speeches in +Livy, Sallust, or Thucydides, were literally spoken in the very +words in which we now read them. It is sufficient that every +fact hath its foundation in truth, as I do seriously aver is the +ease in the ensuing pages; and when it is so, a good critic will +be so far from denying all kind of ornament of style or diction, +or even of circumstance, to his author, that he would be rather +sorry if he omitted it; for he could hence derive no other +advantage than the loss of an additional pleasure in the perusal. + +Again, if any merely common incident should appear in this +journal, which will seldom I apprehend be the case, the candid +reader will easily perceive it is not introduced for its own +sake, but for some observations and reflections naturally +resulting from it; and which, if but little to his amusement, +tend directly to the instruction of the reader or to the +information of the public; to whom if I choose to convey such +instruction or information with an air of joke and laughter, none +but the dullest of fellows will, I believe, censure it; but if +they should, I have the authority of more than one passage in +Horace to allege in my defense. Having thus endeavored to +obviate some censures, to which a man without the gift of +foresight, or any fear of the imputation of being a conjurer, +might conceive this work would be liable, I might now undertake a +more pleasing task, and fall at once to the direct and positive +praises of the work itself; of which indeed, I could say a +thousand good things; but the task is so very pleasant that I +shall leave it wholly to the reader, and it is all the task that +I impose on him. A moderation for which he may think himself +obliged to me when he compares it with the conduct of authors, +who often fill a whole sheet with their own praises, to which +they sometimes set their own real names, and sometimes a +fictitious one. One hint, however, I must give the kind reader; +which is, that if he should be able to find no sort of amusement +in the book, he will be pleased to remember the public utility +which will arise from it. If entertainment, as Mr. Richardson +observes, be but a secondary consideration in a romance; with +which Mr. Addison, I think, agrees, affirming the use of the +pastry cook to be the first; if this, I say, be true of a mere +work of invention, sure it may well be so considered in a work +founded, like this, on truth; and where the political reflections +form so distinguishing a part. But perhaps I may hear, from some +critic of the most saturnine complexion, that my vanity must have +made a horrid dupe of my judgment, if it hath flattered me with +an expectation of having anything here seen in a grave light, or +of conveying any useful instruction to the public, or to their +guardians. I answer, with the great man whom I just now quoted, +that my purpose is to convey instruction in the vehicle of +entertainment; and so to bring about at once, like the revolution +in the Rehearsal, a perfect reformation of the laws relating to +our maritime affairs: an undertaking, I will not say more +modest, but surely more feasible, than that of reforming a whole +people, by making use of a vehicular story, to wheel in among +them worse manners than their own. + + +INTRODUCTION + +In the beginning of August, 1753, when I had taken the duke of +Portland's medicine, as it is called, near a year, the effects of +which had been the carrying off the symptoms of a lingering +imperfect gout, I was persuaded by Mr. Ranby, the king's premier +sergeant-surgeon, and the ablest advice, I believe, in all +branches of the physical profession, to go immediately to Bath. +I accordingly wrote that very night to Mrs. Bowden, who, by the +next post, informed me she had taken me a lodging for a month +certain. Within a few days after this, whilst I was preparing +for my journey, and when I was almost fatigued to death with +several long examinations, relating to five different murders, +all committed within the space of a week, by different gangs of +street-robbers, I received a message from his grace the duke of +Newcastle, by Mr. Carrington, the king's messenger, to attend his +grace the next morning, in Lincoln's-inn-fields, upon some +business of importance; but I excused myself from complying with +the message, as, besides being lame, I was very ill with the +great fatigues I had lately undergone added to my distemper. + +His grace, however, sent Mr. Carrington, the very next morning, +with another summons; with which, though in the utmost distress, +I immediately complied; but the duke, happening, unfortunately +for me, to be then particularly engaged, after I had waited some +time, sent a gentleman to discourse with me on the best plan +which could be invented for putting an immediate end to those +murders and robberies which were every day committed in the +streets; upon which I promised to transmit my opinion, in +writing, to his grace, who, as the gentleman informed me, +intended to lay it before the privy council. + +Though this visit cost me a severe cold, I, notwithstanding, set +myself down to work; and in about four days sent the duke as +regular a plan as I could form, with all the reasons and +arguments I could bring to support it, drawn out in several +sheets of paper; and soon received a message from the duke by Mr. +Carrington, acquainting me that my plan was highly approved of, +and that all the terms of it would be complied with. The +principal and most material of those terms was the immediately +depositing six hundred pound in my hands; at which small charge I +undertook to demolish the then reigning gangs, and to put the +civil policy into such order, that no such gangs should ever be +able, for the future, to form themselves into bodies, or at least +to remain any time formidable to the public. + +I had delayed my Bath journey for some time, contrary to the +repeated advice of my physical acquaintance, and to the ardent +desire of my warmest friends, though my distemper was now turned +to a deep jaundice; in which case the Bath waters are generally +reputed to be almost infallible. But I had the most eager desire +of demolishing this gang of villains and cut-throats, which I was +sure of accomplishing the moment I was enabled to pay a fellow +who had undertaken, for a small sum, to betray them into the +hands of a set of thief-takers whom I had enlisted into the +service, all men of known and approved fidelity and intrepidity. + +After some weeks the money was paid at the treasury, and within a +few days after two hundred pounds of it had come to my hands, the +whole gang of cut-throats was entirely dispersed, seven of them +were in actual custody, and the rest driven, some out of the +town, and others out of the kingdom. Though my health was now +reduced to the last extremity, I continued to act with the utmost +vigor against these villains; in examining whom, and in taking +the depositions against them, I have often spent whole days, nay, +sometimes whole nights, especially when there was any difficulty +in procuring sufficient evidence to convict them; which is a very +common case in street-robberies, even when the guilt of the party +is sufficiently apparent to satisfy the most tender conscience. +But courts of justice know nothing of a cause more than what is +told them on oath by a witness; and the most flagitious villain +upon earth is tried in the same manner as a man of the best +character who is accused of the same crime. Meanwhile, amidst +all my fatigues and distresses, I had the satisfaction to find my +endeavors had been attended with such success that this hellish +society were almost utterly extirpated, and that, instead of +reading of murders and street-robberies in the news almost every +morning, there was, in the remaining part of the month of +November, and in all December, not only no such thing as a +murder, but not even a street-robbery committed. Some such, +indeed, were mentioned in the public papers; but they were all +found on the strictest inquiry, to be false. In this entire +freedom from street-robberies, during the dark months, no man +will, I believe, scruple to acknowledge that the winter of 1753 +stands unrivaled, during a course of many years; and this may +possibly appear the more extraordinary to those who recollect the +outrages with which it began. Having thus fully accomplished my +undertaking, I went into the country, in a very weak and +deplorable condition, with no fewer or less diseases than a +jaundice, a dropsy, and an asthma, altogether uniting their +forces in the destruction of a body so entirely emaciated that it +had lost all its muscular flesh. Mine was now no longer what was +called a Bath case; nor, if it had been so, had I strength +remaining sufficient to go thither, a ride of six miles only +being attended with an intolerable fatigue. I now discharged my +lodgings at Bath, which I had hitherto kept. I began in earnest +to look on my case as desperate, and I had vanity enough to rank +myself with those heroes who, of old times, became voluntary +sacrifices to the good of the public. But, lest the reader +should be too eager to catch at the word VANITY, and should be +unwilling to indulge me with so sublime a gratification, for I +think he is not too apt to gratify me, I will take my key a pitch +lower, and will frankly own that I had a stronger motive than the +love of the public to push me on: I will therefore confess to +him that my private affairs at the beginning of the winter had +but a gloomy aspect; for I had not plundered the public or the +poor of those sums which men, who are always ready to plunder +both as much as they can, have been pleased to suspect me of +taking: on the contrary, by composing, instead of inflaming the +quarrels of porters and beggars (which I blush when I say hath +not been universally practiced), and by refusing to take a +shilling from a man who most undoubtedly would not have had +another left, I had reduced an income of about five hundred +pounds[13] a-year of the dirtiest money upon earth to little more +than three hundred pounds; a considerable proportion of which +remained with my clerk; and, indeed, if the whole had done so, as +it ought, he would be but ill paid for sitting almost sixteen +hours in the twenty-four in the most unwholesome, as well as +nauseous air in the universe, and which hath in his case +corrupted a good constitution without contaminating his morals. + +[13] A predecessor of mine used to boast that he made one +thousand pounds a-year in his office; but how he did this (if +indeed he did it) is to me a secret. His clerk, now mine, told +me I had more business than he had ever known there; I am sure I +had as much as any man could do. The truth is, the fees are so +very low, when any are due, and so much is done for nothing, +that, if a single justice of peace had business enough to employ +twenty clerks, neither he nor they would get much by their labor. + +The public will not, therefore, I hope, think I betray a secret +when I inform them that I received from the Government a yearly +pension out of the public service money; which, I believe, +indeed, would have been larger had my great patron been +convinced of an error, which I have heard him utter more than +once, that he could not indeed say that the acting as a principal +justice of peace in Westminster was on all accounts very +desirable, but that all the world knew it was a very lucrative +office. Now, to have shown him plainly that a man must be a +rogue to make a very little this way, and that he could not make +much by being as great a rogue as he could be, would have +required more confidence than, I believe, he had in me, and more +of his conversation than he chose to allow me; I therefore +resigned the office and the farther execution of my plan to my +brother, who had long been myassistant. And now, lest the case +between me and the reader should be the same in both instances as +it was between me and the great man, I will not add another word +on the subject. + + +But, not to trouble the reader with anecdotes, contrary to my own +rule laid down in my preface, I assure him I thought my family +was very slenderly provided for; and that my health began to +decline so fast that I had very little more of life left to +accomplish what I had thought of too late. I rejoiced therefore +greatly in seeing an opportunity, as I apprehended, of gaining +such merit in the eve of the public, that, if my life were the +sacrifice to it, my friends might think they did a popular act in +putting my family at least beyond the reach of necessity, which I +myself began to despair of doing. And though I disclaim all +pretense to that Spartan or Roman patriotism which loved the +public so well that it was always ready to become a voluntary +sacrifice to the public good, I do solemnly declare I have that +love for my family. + +After this confession therefore, that the public was not the +principal deity to which my life was offered a sacrifice, and +when it is farther considered what a poor sacrifice this was, +being indeed no other than the giving up what I saw little +likelihood of being able to hold much longer, and which, upon the +terms I held it, nothing but the weakness of human nature could +represent to me as worth holding at all; the world may, I +believe, without envy, allow me all the praise to which I have +any title. My aim, in fact, was not praise, which is the last +gift they care to bestow; at least, this was not my aim as an +end, but rather as a means of purchasing some moderate provision +for my family, which, though it should exceed my merit, must fall +infinitely short of my service, if I succeeded in my attempt. To +say the truth, the public never act more wisely than when they +act most liberally in the distribution of their rewards; and here +the good they receive is often more to be considered than the +motive from which they receive it. Example alone is the end of +all public punishments and rewards. Laws never inflict disgrace +in resentment, nor confer honor from gratitude. "For it is very +hard, my lord," said a convicted felon at the bar to the late +excellent judge Burnet, "to hang a poor man for stealing a +horse." "You are not to be hanged sir," answered my ever-honored +and beloved friend, "for stealing a horse, but you are to be +hanged that horses may not be stolen." In like manner it might +have been said to the late duke of Marlborough, when the +parliament was so deservedly liberal to him, after the battle of +Blenheim, "You receive not these honors and bounties on account +of a victory past, but that other victories may be obtained." + +I was now, in the opinion of all men, dying of a complication of +disorders; and, were I desirous of playing the advocate, I have +an occasion fair enough; but I disdain such an attempt. I relate +facts plainly and simply as they are; and let the world draw from +them what conclusions they please, taking with them the following +facts for their instruction: the one is, that the proclamation +offering one hundred pounds for the apprehending felons for +certain felonies committed in certain places, which I prevented +from being revived, had formerly cost the government several +thousand pounds within a single year. Secondly, that all such +proclamations, instead of curing the evil, had actually increased +it; had multiplied the number of robberies; had propagated the +worst and wickedest of perjuries; had laid snares for youth and +ignorance, which, by the temptation of these rewards, had been +sometimes drawn into guilt; and sometimes, which cannot be +thought on without the highest horror, had destroyed them without +it. Thirdly, that my plan had not put the government to more +than three hundred pound expense, and had produced none of the +ill consequences above mentioned; but, lastly, had actually +suppressed the evil for a time, and had plainly pointed out the +means of suppressing it for ever. This I would myself have +undertaken, had my health permitted, at the annual expense of the +above-mentioned sum. + +After having stood the terrible six weeks which succeeded last +Christmas, and put a lucky end, if they had known their own +interests, to such numbers of aged and infirm valetudinarians, +who might have gasped through two or three mild winters more, I +returned to town in February, in a condition less despaired of by +myself than by any of my friends. I now became the patient of +Dr. Ward, who wished I had taken his advice earlier. By his +advice I was tapped, and fourteen quarts of water drawn from my +belly. The sudden relaxation which this caused, added to my +enervate, emaciated habit of body, so weakened me that within two +days I was thought to be falling into the agonies of death. I +was at the worst on that memorable day when the public lost Mr. +Pelham. From that day I began slowly, as it were, to draw my +feet out of the grave; till in two months' time I had again +acquired some little degree of strength, but was again full of +water. During this whole time I took Mr. Ward's medicines, which +had seldom any perceptible operation. Those in particular of the +diaphoretic kind, the working of which is thought to require a +great strength of constitution to support, had so little effect +on me, that Mr. Ward declared it was as vain to attempt sweating +me as a deal board. In this situation I was tapped a second +time. I had one quart of water less taken from me now than +before; but I bore all the consequences of the operation much +better. This I attributed greatly to a dose of laudanum +prescribed by my surgeon. It first gave me the most delicious +flow of spirits, and afterwards as comfortable a nap. + +The month of May, which was now begun, it seemed reasonable to +expect would introduce the spring, and drive of that winter which +yet maintained its footing on the stage. I resolved therefore to +visit a little house of mine in the country, which stands at +Ealing, in the county of Middlesex, in the best air, I believe, +in the whole kingdom, and far superior to that of Kensington +Gravel-pits; for the gravel is here much wider and deeper, the +place higher and more open towards the south, whilst it is +guarded from the north wind by a ridge of hills, and from the +smells and smoke of London by its distance; which last is not the +fate of Kensington, when the wind blows from any corner of the east. + +Obligations to Mr. Ward I shall always confess; for I am +convinced that he omitted no care in endeavoring to serve me, +without any expectation or desire of fee or reward. + +The powers of Mr. Ward's remedies want indeed no unfair puffs of +mine to give them credit; and though this distemper of the dropsy +stands, I believe, first in the list of those over which he is +always certain of triumphing, yet, possibly, there might be +something particular in my case capable of eluding that radical +force which had healed so many thousands. The same distemper, in +different constitutions, may possibly be attended with such +different symptoms, that to find an infallible nostrum for the +curing any one distemper in every patient may be almost as +difficult as to find a panacea for the cure of all. + +But even such a panacea one of the greatest scholars and best of +men did lately apprehend he had discovered. It is true, indeed, +he was no physician; that is, he had not by the forms of his +education acquired a right of applying his skill in the art of +physic to his own private advantage; and yet, perhaps, it may be +truly asserted that no other modern hath contributed so much to +make his physical skill useful to the public; at least, that none +hath undergone the pains of communicating this discovery in +writing to the world. The reader, I think, will scarce need to +be informed that the writer I mean is the late bishop of Cloyne, +in Ireland, and the discovery that of the virtues of tar-water. + +I then happened to recollect, upon a hint given me by the +inimitable and shamefully-distressed author of the Female +Quixote, that I had many years before, from curiosity only, taken +a cursory view of bishop Berkeley's treatise on the virtues of +tar-water, which I had formerly observed he strongly contends to +be that real panacea which Sydenham supposes to have an existence +in nature, though it yet remains undiscovered, and perhaps will +always remain so. + +Upon the reperusal of this book I found the bishop only asserting +his opinion that tar-water might be useful in the dropsy, since +he had known it to have a surprising success in the cure of a +most stubborn anasarca, which is indeed no other than, as the +word implies, the dropsy of the flesh; and this was, at that +time, a large part of my complaint. + +After a short trial, therefore, of a milk diet, which I presently +found did not suit with my case, I betook myself to the bishop's +prescription, and dosed myself every morning and evening with +half a pint of tar-water. + +It was no more than three weeks since my last tapping, and my +belly and limbs were distended with water. This did not give me +the worse opinion of tar-water; for I never supposed there could +be any such virtue in tar-water as immediately to carry off a +quantity of water already collected. For my delivery from this I +well knew I must be again obliged to the trochar; and that if the +tar-water did me any good at all it must be only by the slowest +degrees; and that if it should ever get the better of my +distemper it must be by the tedious operation of undermining, and +not by a sudden attack and storm. + +Some visible effects, however, and far beyond what my most +sanguine hopes could with any modesty expect, I very soon +experienced; the tar-water having, from the very first, lessened +my illness, increased my appetite, and added, though in a very +slow proportion, to my bodily strength. But if my strength had +increased a little my water daily increased much more. So that, +by the end of May, my belly became again ripe for the trochar, +and I was a third time tapped; upon which, two very favorable +symptoms appeared. I had three quarts of water taken from me +less than had been taken the last time; and I bore the relaxation +with much less (indeed with scarce any) faintness. + +Those of my physical friends on whose judgment I chiefly depended +seemed to think my only chance of life consisted in having the +whole summer before me; in which I might hope to gather +sufficient strength to encounter the inclemencies of the ensuing +winter. But this chance began daily to lessen. I saw the summer +mouldering away, or rather, indeed, the year passing away without +intending to bring on any summer at all. In the whole month of +May the sun scarce appeared three times. So that the early +fruits came to the fullness of their growth, and to some +appearance of ripeness, without acquiring any real maturity; +having wanted the heat of the sun to soften and meliorate their +juices. I saw the dropsy gaining rather than losing ground; the +distance growing still shorter between the tappings. I saw the +asthma likewise beginning again to become more troublesome. I +saw the midsummer quarter drawing towards a close. So that I +conceived, if the Michaelmas quarter should steal off in the same +manner, as it was, in my opinion, very much to be apprehended it +would, I should be delivered up to the attacks of winter before I +recruited my forces, so as to be anywise able to withstand them. + +I now began to recall an intention, which from the first dawnings +of my recovery I had conceived, of removing to a warmer climate; +and, finding this to be approved of by a very eminent physician, +I resolved to put it into immediate execution. Aix in Provence +was the place first thought on; but the difficulties of getting +thither were insuperable. The Journey by land, beside the +expense of it, was infinitely too long and fatiguing; and I could +hear of no ship that was likely to set out from London, within +any reasonable time, for Marseilles, or any other port in that +part of the Mediterranean. + +Lisbon was presently fixed on in its room. The air here, as it +was near four degrees to the south of Aix, must be more mild and +warm, and the winter shorter and less piercing. + +It was not difficult to find a ship bound to a place with which +we carry on so immense a trade. Accordingly, my brother soon +informed me of the excellent accommodations for passengers which +were to be found on board a ship that was obliged to sail for +Lisbon in three days. I eagerly embraced the offer, +notwithstanding the shortness of the time; and, having given my +brother full power to contract for our passage, I began to +prepare my family for the voyage with the utmost expedition. + +But our great haste was needless; for the captain having twice +put off his sailing, I at length invited him to dinner with me at +Fordhook, a full week after the time on which he had declared, +and that with many asseverations, he must and would weigh anchor. + +He dined with me according to his appointment; and when all +matters were settled between us, left me with positive orders to +be on board the Wednesday following, when he declared he would +fall down the river to Gravesend, and would not stay a moment for +the greatest man in the world. He advised me to go to Gravesend +by land, and there wait the arrival of his ship, assigning many +reasons for this, every one of which was, as I well remember, +among those that had before determined me to go on board near the Tower. + + + +THE VOYAGE + + +WEDNESDAY, June 26, 1754.--On this day the most melancholy sun I +had ever beheld arose, and found me awake at my house at +Fordhook. By the light of this sun I was, in my own opinion, +last to behold and take leave of some of those creatures on whom +I doted with a mother-like fondness, guided by nature and +passion, and uncured and unhardened by all the doctrine of that +philosophical school where I had learned to bear pains and to +despise death. In this situation, as I could not conquer Nature, +I submitted entirely to her, and she made as great a fool of me +as she had ever done of any woman whatsoever; under pretense of +giving me leave to enjoy, she drew me in to suffer, the company +of my little ones during eight hours; and I doubt not whether, in +that time, I did not undergo more than in all my distemper. + +At twelve precisely my coach was at the door, which was no sooner +told me than I kissed my children round, and went into it with +some little resolution. My wife, who behaved more like a heroine +and philosopher, though at the same time the tenderest mother in +the world, and my eldest daughter, followed me; some friends went +with us, and others here took their leave; and I heard my +behavior applauded, with many murmurs and praises to which I well +knew I had no title; as all other such philosophers may, if they +have any modesty, confess on the like occasions. + +In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe, and immediately went on +board, and were to have sailed the next morning; but, as this was +the king's proclamation-day, and consequently a holiday at the +custom-house, the captain could not clear his vessel till the +Thursday; for these holidays are as strictly observed as those in +the popish calendar, and are almost as numerous. I might add +that both are opposite to the genius of trade, and consequently +contra bonum publicum. + +To go on board the ship it was necessary first to go into a boat; +a matter of no small difficulty, as I had no use of my limbs, and +was to be carried by men who, though sufficiently strong for +their burden, were, like Archimedes, puzzled to find a steady +footing. Of this, as few of my readers have not gone into +wherries on the Thames, they will easily be able to form to +themselves an idea. However, by the assistance of my friend, Mr. +Welch, whom I never think or speak of but with love and esteem, I +conquered this difficulty, as I did afterwards that of ascending +the ship, into which I was hoisted with more ease by a chair +lifted with pulleys. I was soon seated in a great chair in the +cabin, to refresh myself after a fatigue which had been more +intolerable, in a quarter of a mile's passage from my coach to +the ship, than I had before undergone in a land-journey of twelve +miles, which I had traveled with the utmost expedition. + +This latter fatigue was, perhaps, somewhat heightened by an +indignation which I could not prevent arising in my mind. I +think, upon my entrance into the boat, I presented a spectacle of +the highest horror. The total loss of limbs was apparent to all +who saw me, and my face contained marks of a most diseased state, +if not of death itself. Indeed, so ghastly was my countenance, +that timorous women with child had abstained from my house, for +fear of the ill consequences of looking at me. In this condition +I ran the gauntlope (so I think I may justly call it) through +rows of sailors and watermen, few of whom failed of paying their +compliments to me by all manner of insults and jests on my +misery. No man who knew me will think I conceived any personal +resentment at this behavior; but it was a lively picture of that +cruelty and inhumanity in the nature of men which I have often +contemplated with concern, and which leads the mind into a train +of very uncomfortable and melancholy thoughts. It may be said +that this barbarous custom is peculiar to the English, and of +them only to the lowest degree; that it is an excrescence of an +uncontrolled licentiousness mistaken for liberty, and never shows +itself in men who are polished and refined in such manner as +human nature requires to produce that perfection of which it is +susceptible, and to purge away that malevolence of disposition of +which, at our birth, we partake in common with the savage +creation. This may be said, and this is all that can be said; +and it is, I am afraid, but little satisfactory to account for +the inhumanity of those who, while they boast of being made after +God's own image, seem to bear in their minds a resemblance of the +vilest species of brutes; or rather, indeed, of our idea of +devils; for I don't know that any brutes can be taxed with such +malevolence. A sirloin of beef was now placed on the table, for +which, though little better than carrion, as much was charged by +the master of the little paltry ale-house who dressed it as would +have been demanded for all the elegance of the King's Arms, or +any other polite tavern or eating-house! for, indeed, the +difference between the best house and the worst is, that at the +former you pay largely for luxury, at the latter for nothing. + +Thursday, June 27.--This morning the captain, who lay on shore at +his own house, paid us a visit in the cabin, and behaved like an +angry bashaw, declaring that, had he known we were not to be +pleased, he would not have carried us for five hundred pounds. +He added many asseverations that he was a gentleman, and despised +money; not forgetting several hints of the presents which had +been made him for his cabin, of twenty, thirty, and forty +guineas, by several gentlemen, over and above the sum for which +they had contracted. This behavior greatly surprised me, as I +knew not how to account for it, nothing having happened since we +parted from the captain the evening before in perfect good humor; +and all this broke forth on the first moment of his arrival this +morning. He did not, however, suffer my amazement to have any +long continuance before he clearly showed me that all this was +meant only as an apology to introduce another procrastination +(being the fifth) of his weighing anchor, which was now postponed +till Saturday, for such was his will and pleasure. + +Besides the disagreeable situation in which we then lay, in the +confines of Wapping and Rotherhithe, tasting a delicious mixture +of the air of both these sweet places, and enjoying the concord +of sweet sounds of seamen, watermen, fish-women, oyster-women, +and of all the vociferous inhabitants of both shores, composing +altogether a greater variety of harmony than Hogarth's +imagination hath brought together in that print of his, which is +enough to make a man deaf to look at--I had a more urgent cause +to press our departure, which was, that the dropsy, for which I +had undergone three tappings, seemed to threaten me with a fourth +discharge before I should reach Lisbon, and when I should have +nobody on board capable of performing the operation; but I was +obliged to hearken to the voice of reason, if I may use the +captain's own words, and to rest myself contented. Indeed, there +was no alternative within my reach but what would have cost me +much too dear. There are many evils in society from which people +of the highest rank are so entirely exempt, that they have not +the least knowledge or idea of them; nor indeed of the characters +which are formed by them. Such, for instance, is the conveyance +of goods and passengers from one place to another. Now there is +no such thing as any kind of knowledge contemptible in itself; +and, as the particular knowledge I here mean is entirely +necessary to the well understanding and well enjoying this +journal; and, lastly, as in this case the most ignorant will be +those very readers whose amusement we chiefly consult, and to +whom we wish to be supposed principally to write, we will here +enter somewhat largely into the discussion of this matter; the +rather, for that no ancient or modern author (if we can trust the +catalogue of doctor Mead's library) hath ever undertaken it, but +that it seems (in the style of Don Quixote) a task reserved for +my pen alone. + +When I first conceived this intention I began to entertain +thoughts of inquiring into the antiquity of traveling; and, as +many persons have performed in this way (I mean have traveled) at +the expense of the public, I flattered myself that the spirit of +improving arts and sciences, and of advancing useful and +substantial learning, which so eminently distinguishes this age, +and hath given rise to more speculative societies in Europe than +I at present can recollect the names of--perhaps, indeed, than I +or any other, besides their very near neighbors, ever heard +mentioned--would assist in promoting so curious a work; a work +begun with the same views, calculated for the same purposes, and +fitted for the same uses, with the labors which those right +honorable societies have so cheerfully undertaken themselves, and +encouraged in others; sometimes with the highest honors, even +with admission into their colleges, and with enrollment among +their members. + +From these societies I promised myself all assistance in their +power, particularly the communication of such valuable +manuscripts and records as they must be supposed to have +collected from those obscure ages of antiquity when history +yields us such imperfect accounts of the residence, and much more +imperfect of the travels, of the human race; unless, perhaps, as +a curious and learned member of the young Society of Antiquarians +is said to have hinted his conjectures, that their residence and +their travels were one and the same; and this discovery (for such +it seems to be) he is said to have owed to the lighting by accident +on a book, which we shall have occasion to mention presently, +the contents of which were then little known to the society. + +The king of Prussia, moreover, who, from a degree of benevolence +and taste which in either case is a rare production in so +northern a climate, is the great encourager of art and science, I +was well assured would promote so useful a design, and order his +archives to be searched on my behalf. But after well weighing +all these advantages, and much meditation on the order of my +work, my whole design was subverted in a moment by hearing of the +discovery just mentioned to have been made by the young +antiquarian, who, from the most ancient record in the world +(though I don't find the society are all agreed on this point), +one long preceding the date of the earliest modern collections, +either of books or butterflies, none of which pretend to go +beyond the flood, shows us that the first man was a traveler, and +that he and his family were scarce settled in Paradise before +they disliked their own home, and became passengers to another +place. Hence it appears that the humor of traveling is as old as +the human race, and that it was their curse from the beginning. +By this discovery my plan became much shortened, and I found it +only necessary to treat of the conveyance of goods and passengers +from place to place; which, not being universally known, seemed +proper to be explained before we examined into its original. +There are indeed two different ways of tracing all things used by +the historian and the antiquary; these are upwards and downwards. + +The former shows you how things are, and leaves to others to +discover when they began to be so. The latter shows you how +things were, and leaves their present existence to be examined by +others. Hence the former is more useful, the latter more +curious. The former receives the thanks of mankind; the latter +of that valuable part, the virtuosi. + +In explaining, therefore, this mystery of carrying goods and +passengers from one place to another, hitherto so profound a +secret to the very best of our readers, we shall pursue the +historical method, and endeavor to show by what means it is at +present performed, referring the more curious inquiry either to +some other pen or to some other opportunity. + +Now there are two general ways of performing (if God permit) this +conveyance, viz., by land and water, both of which have much +variety; that by land being performed in different vehicles, such +as coaches, caravans, wagons, etc.; and that by water in ships, +barges, and boats, of various sizes and denominations. But, as +all these methods of conveyance are formed on the same +principles, they agree so well together, that it is fully +sufficient to comprehend them all in the general view, without +descending to such minute particulars as would distinguish one +method from another. + +Common to all of these is one general principle that, as the +goods to be conveyed are usually the larger, so they are to be +chiefly considered in the conveyance; the owner being indeed +little more than an appendage to his trunk, or box, or bale, or +at best a small part of his own baggage, very little care is to +be taken in stowing or packing them up with convenience to +himself; for the conveyance is not of passengers and goods, but +of goods and passengers. + +Secondly, from this conveyance arises a new kind of relation, or +rather of subjection, in the society, by which the passenger +becomes bound in allegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is +indeed only temporary and local, but the most absolute during its +continuance of any known in Great Britain, and, to say truth, +scarce consistent with the liberties of a free people, nor could +it be reconciled with them, did it not move downwards; a +circumstance universally apprehended to be incompatible to all +kinds of slavery; for Aristotle in his Politics hath proved +abundantly to my satisfaction that no men are born to be slaves, +except barbarians; and these only to such as are not themselves +barbarians; and indeed Mr. Montesquieu hath carried it very +little farther in the case of the Africans; the real truth being +that no man is born to be a slave, unless to him who is able to +make him so. + +Thirdly, this subjection is absolute, and consists of a perfect +resignation both of body and soul to the disposal of another; +after which resignation, during a certain time, his subject +retains no more power over his own will than an Asiatic slave, or +an English wife, by the laws of both countries, and by the +customs of one of them. If I should mention the instance of a +stage-coachman, many of my readers would recognize the truth of +what I have here observed; all, indeed, that ever have been under +the dominion of that tyrant, who in this free country is as +absolute as a Turkish bashaw. In two particulars only his power +is defective; he cannot press you into his service, and if you +enter yourself at one place, on condition of being discharged at +a certain time at another, he is obliged to perform his +agreement, if God permit, but all the intermediate time you are +absolutely under his government; he carries you how he will, when +he will, and whither he will, provided it be not much out of the +road; you have nothing to eat or to drink, but what, and when, +and where he pleases. Nay, you cannot sleep unless he pleases +you should; for he will order you sometimes out of bed at +midnight and hurry you away at a moment's warning: indeed, if +you can sleep in his vehicle he cannot prevent it; nay, indeed, +to give him his due, this he is ordinarily disposed to encourage: +for the earlier he forces yon to rise in the morning, the more +time he will give you in the heat of the day, sometimes even six +hours at an ale-house, or at their doors, where he always gives +you the same indulgence which he allows himself; and for this he +is generally very moderate in his demands. I have known a whole +bundle of passengers charged no more than half-a-crown for being +suffered to remain quiet at an ale-house door for above a whole +hour, and that even in the hottest day in summer. But as this +kind of tyranny, though it hath escaped our political writers, +hath been I think touched by our dramatic, and is more trite +among the generality of readers; and as this and all other kinds +of such subjection are alike unknown to my friends, I will quit +the passengers by land, and treat of those who travel by water; +for whatever is said on this subject is applicable to both alike, +and we may bring them together as closely as they are brought in +the liturgy, when they are recommended to the prayers of all +Christian congregations; and (which I have often thought very +remarkable) where they are joined with other miserable wretches, +such as women in labor, people in sickness, infants just born, +prisoners and captives. Goods and passengers are conveyed by +water in divers vehicles, the principal of which being a ship, it +shall suffice to mention that alone. Here the tyrant doth not +derive his title, as the stage-coachman doth, from the vehicle +itself in which he stows his goods and passengers, but he is +called the captain--a word of such various use and uncertain +signification, that it seems very difficult to fix any positive +idea to it: if, indeed, there be any general meaning which may +comprehend all its different uses, that of the head or chief of +any body of men seems to be most capable of this comprehension; +for whether they be a company of soldiers, a crew of sailors, or +a gang of rogues, he who is at the head of them is always styled +the captain. + +The particular tyrant whose fortune it was to stow us aboard laid +a farther claim to this appellation than the bare command of a +vehicle of conveyance. He had been the captain of a privateer, +which he chose to call being in the king's service, and thence +derived a right of hoisting the military ornament of a cockade +over the button of his hat. He likewise wore a sword of no +ordinary length by his side, with which he swaggered in his +cabin, among the wretches his passengers, whom he had stowed in +cupboards on each side. He was a person of a very singular +character. He had taken it into his head that he was a +gentleman, from those very reasons that proved he was not one; +and to show himself a fine gentleman, by a behavior which seemed +to insinuate he had never seen one. He was, moreover, a man of +gallantry; at the age of seventy he had the finicalness of Sir +Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly; and, while he was deaf +himself, had a voice capable of deafening all others. + +Now, as I saw myself in danger by the delays of the captain, who +was, in reality, waiting for more freight, and as the wind had +been long nested, as it were, in the southwest, where it +constantly blew hurricanes, I began with great reason to +apprehend that our voyage might be long, and that my belly, which +began already to be much extended, would require the water to be +let out at a time when no assistance was at hand; though, indeed, +the captain comforted me with assurances that he had a pretty +young fellow on board who acted as his surgeon, as I found he +likewise did as steward, cook, butler, sailor. In short, he had +as many offices as Scrub in the play, and went through them all +with great dexterity; this of surgeon was, perhaps, the only one +in which his skill was somewhat deficient, at least that branch +of tapping for the dropsy; for he very ingenuously and modestly +confessed he had never seen the operation performed, nor was +possessed of that chirurgical instrument with which it is performed. + +Friday, June 28.--By way of prevention, therefore, I this day +sent for my friend, Mr. Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomist +of Covent-garden; and, though my belly was not yet very full and +tight, let out ten quarts of water; the young sea-surgeon +attended the operation, not as a performer, but as a student. + +I was now eased of the greatest apprehension which I had from the +length of the passage; and I told the captain I was become +indifferent as to the time of his sailing. He expressed much +satisfaction in this declaration, and at hearing from me that I +found myself, since my tapping, much lighter and better. In +this, I believe, he was sincere; for he was, as we shall have +occasion to observe more than once, a very good-natured man; and, +as he was a very brave one too, I found that the heroic constancy +with which I had borne an operation that is attended with scarce +any degree of pain had not a little raised me in his esteem. +That he might adhere, therefore, in the most religious and +rigorous manner to his word, when he had no longer any temptation +from interest to break it, as he had no longer any hopes of more +goods or passengers, he ordered his ship to fall down to +Gravesend on Sunday morning, and there to wait his arrival. + +Sunday, June 30.--Nothing worth notice passed till that morning, +when my poor wife, after passing a night in the utmost torments +of the toothache, resolved to have it drawn. I despatched +therefore a servant into Wapping to bring in haste the best +tooth-drawer he could find. He soon found out a female of great +eminence in the art; but when he brought her to the boat, at the +waterside, they were informed that the ship was gone; for indeed +she had set out a few minutes after his quitting her; nor did the +pilot, who well knew the errand on which I had sent my servant, +think fit to wait a moment for his return, or to give me any +notice of his setting out, though I had very patiently attended +the delays of the captain four days, after many solemn promises +of weighing anchor every one of the three last. +But of all the petty bashaws or turbulent tyrants I ever beheld, +this sour-faced pilot was the worst tempered; for, during the +time that he had the guidance of the ship, which was till we +arrived in the Downs, he complied with no one's desires, nor did +he give a civil word, or indeed a civil look, to any on board. + +The tooth-drawer, who, as I said before, was one of great +eminence among her neighbors, refused to follow the ship; so that +my man made himself the best of his way, and with some difficulty +came up with us before we were got under full sail; for after +that, as we had both wind and tide with us, he would have found +it impossible to overtake the ship till she was come to an anchor +at Gravesend. + +The morning was fair and bright, and we had a passage thither, I +think, as pleasant as can be conceived: for, take it with all +its advantages, particularly the number of fine ships you are +always sure of seeing by the way, there is nothing to equal it in +all the rivers of the world. The yards of Deptford and of +Woolwich are noble sights, and give us a just idea of the great +perfection to which we are arrived in building those floating +castles, and the figure which we may always make in Europe among +the other maritime powers. That of Woolwich, at least, very +strongly imprinted this idea on my mind; for there was now on the +stocks there the Royal Anne, supposed to be the largest ship ever +built, and which contains ten carriage-guns more than had ever +yet equipped a first-rate. + +It is true, perhaps, that there is more of ostentation than of +real utility in ships of this vast and unwieldy burden, which are +rarely capable of acting against an enemy; but if the building +such contributes to preserve, among other nations, the notion of +the British superiority in naval affairs, the expense, though +very great, is well incurred, and the ostentation is laudable and +truly political. Indeed, I should be sorry to allow that +Holland, France, or Spain, possessed a vessel larger and more +beautiful than the largest and most beautiful of ours; for this +honor I would always administer to the pride of our sailors, who +should challenge it from all their neighbors with truth and +success. And sure I am that not our honest tars alone, but every +inhabitant of this island, may exult in the comparison, when he +considers the king of Great Britain as a maritime prince, in +opposition to any other prince in Europe; but I am not so certain +that the same idea of superiority will result from comparing our +land forces with those of many other crowned heads. In numbers +they all far exceed us, and in the goodness and splendor of their +troops many nations, particularly the Germans and French, and +perhaps the Dutch, cast us at a distance; for, however we may +flatter ourselves with the Edwards and Henrys of former ages, the +change of the whole art of war since those days, by which the +advantage of personal strength is in a manner entirely lost, hath +produced a change in military affairs to the advantage of our +enemies. As for our successes in later days, if they were not +entirely owing to the superior genius of our general, they were +not a little due to the superior force of his money. Indeed, if +we should arraign marshal Saxe of ostentation when he showed his +army, drawn up, to our captive general, the day after the battle +of La Val, we cannot say that the ostentation was entirely vain; +since he certainly showed him an army which had not been often +equaled, either in the number or goodness of the troops, and +which, in those respects, so far exceeded ours, that none can +ever cast any reflection on the brave young prince who could not +reap the laurels of conquest in that day; but his retreat will be +always mentioned as an addition to his glory. + +In our marine the case is entirely the reverse, and it must be +our own fault if it doth not continue so; for continue so it will +as long as the flourishing state of our trade shall support it, +and this support it can never want till our legislature shall +cease to give sufficient attention to the protection of our +trade, and our magistrates want sufficient power, ability, and +honesty, to execute the laws; a circumstance not to be +apprehended, as it cannot happen till our senates and our benches +shall be filled with the blindest ignorance, or with the blackest +corruption. + +Besides the ships in the docks, we saw many on the water: the +yachts are sights of great parade, and the king's body yacht is, +I believe, unequaled in any country for convenience as well as +magnificence; both which are consulted in building and equipping +her with the most exquisite art and workmanship. + +We saw likewise several Indiamen just returned from their voyage. + +These are, I believe, the largest and finest vessels which are +anywhere employed in commercial affairs. The colliers, likewise, +which are very numerous, and even assemble in fleets, are ships +of great bulk; and if we descend to those used in the American, +African, and European trades, and pass through those which visit +our own coasts, to the small craft that lie between Chatham and +the Tower, the whole forms a most pleasing object to the eye, as +well as highly warming to the heart of an Englishman who has any +degree of love for his country, or can recognize any effect of +the patriot in his constitution. Lastly, the Royal Hospital at +Greenwich, which presents so delightful a front to the water, and +doth such honor at once to its builder and the nation, to the +great skill and ingenuity of the one, and to the no less sensible +gratitude of the other, very properly closes the account of this +scene; which may well appear romantic to those who have not +themselves seen that, in this one instance, truth and reality are +capable, perhaps, of exceeding the power of fiction. When we had +passed by Greenwich we saw only two or three gentlemen's houses, +all of very moderate account, till we reached Gravesend: these +are all on the Kentish shore, which affords a much dryer, +wholesomer, and pleasanter situation, than doth that of its +opposite, Essex. This circumstance, I own, is somewhat +surprising to me, when I reflect on the numerous villas that +crowd the river from Chelsea upwards as far as Shepperton, where +the narrower channel affords not half so noble a prospect, and +where the continual succession of the small craft, like the +frequent repetition of all things, which have nothing in them +great, beautiful, or admirable, tire the eye, and give us +distaste and aversion, instead of pleasure. With some of these +situations, such as Barnes, Mortlake, etc., even the shore of +Essex might contend, not upon very unequal terms; but on the +Kentish borders there are many spots to be chosen by the builder +which might justly claim the preference over almost the very +finest of those in Middlesex and Surrey. + +How shall we account for this depravity in taste? for surely +there are none so very mean and contemptible as to bring the +pleasure of seeing a number of little wherries, gliding along +after one another, in competition with what we enjoy in viewing a +succession of ships, with all their sails expanded to the winds, +bounding over the waves before us. + +And here I cannot pass by another observation on the deplorable +want of taste in our enjoyments, which we show by almost totally +neglecting the pursuit of what seems to me the highest degree of +amusement; this is, the sailing ourselves in little vessels of +our own, contrived only for our ease and accommodation, to which +such situations of our villas as I have recommended would be so +convenient, and even necessary. + +This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed in any perfection, would be +of the expensive kind; but such expense would not exceed the +reach of a moderate fortune, and would fall very short of the +prices which are daily paid for pleasures of a far inferior rate. + +The truth, I believe, is, that sailing in the manner I have just +mentioned is a pleasure rather unknown, or unthought of, than +rejected by those who have experienced it; unless, perhaps, the +apprehension of danger or seasickness may be supposed, by the +timorous and delicate, to make too large deductions--insisting +that all their enjoyments shall come to them pure and unmixed, +and being ever ready to cry out, + +----Nocet empta dolore voluptas. + +This, however, was my present case; for the ease and lightness +which I felt from my tapping, the gayety of the morning, the +pleasant sailing with wind and tide, and the many agreeable +objects with which I was constantly entertained during the whole +way, were all suppressed and overcome by the single consideration +of my wife's pain, which continued incessantly to torment her +till we came to an anchor, when I dispatched a messenger in great +haste for the best reputed operator in Gravesend. A surgeon of +some eminence now appeared, who did not decline tooth-drawing, +though he certainly would have been offended with the appellation +of tooth-drawer no less than his brethren, the members of that +venerable body, would be with that of barber, since the late +separation between those long-united companies, by which, if the +surgeons have gained much, the barbers are supposed to have lost +very little. This able and careful person (for so I sincerely +believe he is) after examining the guilty tooth, declared that it +was such a rotten shell, and so placed at the very remotest end +of the upper jaw, where it was in a manner covered and secured by +a large fine firm tooth, that he despaired of his power of +drawing it. + +He said, indeed, more to my wife, and used more rhetoric to +dissuade her from having it drawn, than is generally employed to +persuade young ladies to prefer a pain of three moments to one of +three months' continuance, especially if those young ladies +happen to be past forty and fifty years of age, when, by +submitting to support a racking torment, the only good +circumstance attending which is, it is so short that scarce one +in a thousand can cry out "I feel it," they are to do a violence +to their charms, and lose one of those beautiful holders with +which alone Sir Courtly Nice declares a lady can ever lay hold of +his heart. He said at last so much, and seemed to reason so +justly, that I came over to his side, and assisted him in +prevailing on my wife (for it was no easy matter) to resolve on +keeping her tooth a little longer, and to apply palliatives only +for relief. These were opium applied to the tooth, and blisters +behind the ears. + +Whilst we were at dinner this day in the cabin, on a sudden the +window on one side was beat into the room with a crash as if a +twenty-pounder had been discharged among us. We were all alarmed +at the suddenness of the accident, for which, however, we were +soon able to account, for the sash, which was shivered all to +pieces, was pursued into the middle of the cabin by the bowsprit +of a little ship called a cod-smack, the master of which made us +amends for running (carelessly at best) against us, and injuring +the ship, in the sea-way; that is to say, by damning us all to +hell, and uttering several pious wishes that it had done us much +more mischief. All which were answered in their own kind and +phrase by our men, between whom and the other crew a dialogue of +oaths and scurrility was carried on as long as they continued in +each other's hearing. + +It is difficult, I think, to assign a satisfactory reason why +sailors in general should, of all others, think themselves +entirely discharged from the common bands of humanity, and should +seem to glory in the language and behavior of savages! They see +more of the world, and have, most of them, a more erudite +education than is the portion of landmen of their degree. Nor do +I believe that in any country they visit (Holland itself not +excepted) they can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on +the river Thames. Is it that they think true courage (for they +are the bravest fellows upon earth) inconsistent with all the +gentleness of a humane carriage, and that the contempt of civil +order springs up in minds but little cultivated, at the same time +and from the same principles with the contempt of danger and +death? Is it--? in short, it is so; and how it comes to be so I +leave to form a question in the Robin Hood Society, or to he +propounded for solution among the enigmas in the Woman's Almanac +for the next year. + +Monday, July 1.--This day Mr. Welch took his leave of me after +dinner, as did a young lady of her sister, who was proceeding +with my wife to Lisbon. They both set out together in a +post-chaise for London. Soon after their departure our cabin, +where my wife and I were sitting together, was visited by two +ruffians, whose appearance greatly corresponded with that of the +sheriffs, or rather the knight-marshal's bailiffs. One of +these especially, who seemed to affect a more than ordinary +degree of rudeness and insolence, came in without any kind of +ceremony, with a broad gold lace on his hat, which was cocked +with much military fierceness on his head. An inkhorn at his +buttonhole and some papers in his hand sufficiently assured me +what he was, and I asked him if he and his companion were not +custom-house officers: he answered with sufficient dignity that +they were, as an information which he seemed to conclude would +strike the hearer with awe, and suppress all further inquiry; +but, on the contrary, I proceeded to ask of what rank he was in +the custom-house, and, receiving an answer from his companion, as +I remember, that the gentleman was a riding surveyor, I replied +that he might be a riding surveyor, but could be no gentleman, +for that none who had any title to that denomination would break +into the presence of a lady without an apology or even moving his +hat. He then took his covering from his head and laid it on the +table, saying, he asked pardon, and blamed the mate, who should, +he said, have informed him if any persons of distinction were +below. I told him he might guess by our appearance (which, +perhaps, was rather more than could be said with the strictest +adherence to truth) that he was before a gentleman and lady, +which should teach him to be very civil in his behavior, though +we should not happen to be of that number whom the world calls +people of fashion and distinction. However, I said, that as he +seemed sensible of his error, and had asked pardon, the lady +would permit him to put his hat on again if he chose it. This he +refused with some degree of surliness, and failed not to convince +me that, if I should condescend to become more gentle, he would +soon grow more rude. I now renewed a reflection, which I have +often seen occasion to make, that there is nothing so incongruous +in nature as any kind of power with lowness of mind and of +ability, and that there is nothing more deplorable than the want +of truth in the whimsical notion of Plato, who tells us that +"Saturn, well knowing the state of human affairs, gave us kings +and rulers, not of human but divine original; for, as we make not +shepherds of sheep, nor oxherds of oxen, nor goatherds of goats, +but place some of our own kind over all as being better and +fitter to govern them; in the same manner were demons by the +divine love set over us as a race of beings of a superior order +to men, and who, with great ease to themselves, might regulate +our affairs and establish peace, modesty, freedom, and justice, +and, totally destroying all sedition, might complete the +happiness of the human race. So far, at least, may even now be +said with truth, that in all states which are under the +government of mere man, without any divine assistance, there is +nothing but labor and misery to be found. From what I have said, +therefore, we may at least learn, with our utmost endeavors, to +imitate the Saturnian institution; borrowing all assistance from +our immortal part, while we pay to this the strictest obedience, +we should form both our private economy and public policy from +its dictates. By this dispensation of our immortal minds we are +to establish a law and to call it by that name. But if any +government be in the hands of a single person, of the few, or of +the many, and such governor or governors shall abandon himself or +themselves to the unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or +desires, unable to restrain any passion, but possessed with an +insatiable bad disease; if such shall attempt to govern, and at +the same time to trample on all laws, there can be no means of +preservation left for the wretched people." Plato de Leg., lib. +iv. p. 713, c. 714, edit. Serrani. + +It is true that Plato is here treating of the highest or +sovereign power in a state, but it is as true that his +observations are general and may be applied to all inferior +powers; and, indeed, every subordinate degree is immediately +derived from the highest; and, as it is equally protected by the +same force and sanctified by the same authority, is alike +dangerous to the well-being of the subject. Of all powers, +perhaps, there is none so sanctified and protected as this which +is under our present consideration. So numerous, indeed, and +strong, are the sanctions given to it by many acts of parliament, +that, having once established the laws of customs on merchandise, +it seems to have been the sole view of the legislature to +strengthen the hands and to protect the persons of the officers +who became established by those laws, many of whom are so far +from bearing any resemblance to the Saturnian institution, and to +be chosen from a degree of beings superior to the rest of human +race, that they sometimes seem industriously picked out of the +lowest and vilest orders of mankind. There is, indeed, nothing, +so useful to man in general, nor so beneficial to particular +societies and individuals, as trade. This is that alma mater at +whose plentiful breast all mankind are nourished. It is true, +like other parents, she is not always equally indulgent to all +her children, but, though she gives to her favorites a vast +proportion of redundancy and superfluity, there are very few whom +she refuses to supply with the conveniences, and none with the +necessaries, of life. + +Such a benefactress as this must naturally be beloved by mankind +in general; it would be wonderful, therefore, if her interest was +not considered by them, and protected from the fraud and violence +of some of her rebellious offspring, who, coveting more than +their share or more than she thinks proper to allow them, are +daily employed in meditating mischief against her, and in +endeavoring to steal from their brethren those shares which this +great alma mater had allowed them. + +At length our governor came on board, and about six in the +evening we weighed anchor, and fell down to the Nore, whither our +passage was extremely pleasant, the evening being very +delightful, the moon just past the full, and both wind and tide +favorable to us. + +Tuesday, July 2.--This morning we again set sail, under all the +advantages we had enjoyed the evening before. This day we left +the shore of Essex and coasted along Kent, passing by the +pleasant island of Thanet, which is an island, and that of +Sheppy, which is not an island, and about three o 'clock, the +wind being now full in our teeth, we came to an anchor in the +Downs, within two miles of Deal.--My wife, having suffered +intolerable pain from her tooth, again renewed her resolution of +having it drawn, and another surgeon was sent for from Deal, but +with no better success than the former. He likewise declined the +operation, for the same reason which had been assigned by the +former: however, such was her resolution, backed with pain, that +he was obliged to make the attempt, which concluded more in honor +of his judgment than of his operation; for, after having put my +poor wife to inexpressible torment, he was obliged to leave her +tooth in statu quo; and she had now the comfortable prospect of a +long fit of pain, which might have lasted her whole voyage, +without any possibility of relief. In these pleasing sensations, +of which I had my just share, nature, overcome with fatigue, +about eight in the evening resigned her to rest--a circumstance +which would have given me some happiness, could I have known how +to employ those spirits which were raised by it; but, +unfortunately for me, I was left in a disposition of enjoying an +agreeable hour without the assistance of a companion, which has +always appeared to me necessary to such enjoyment; my daughter +and her companion were both retired sea-sick to bed; the other +passengers were a rude school-boy of fourteen years old and an +illiterate Portuguese friar, who understood no language but his +own, in which I had not the least smattering. The captain was +the only person left in whose conversation I might indulge +myself; but unluckily, besides a total ignorance of everything in +the world but a ship, he had the misfortune of being so deaf, +that to make him hear, I will not say understand, my words, I +must run the risk of conveying them to the ears of my wife, who, +though in another room (called, I think, the state-room--being, +indeed, a most stately apartment, capable of containing one human +body in length, if not very tall, and three bodies in breadth), +lay asleep within a yard of me. In this situation necessity and +choice were one and the same thing; the captain and I sat down +together to a small bowl of punch, over which we both soon fell +fast asleep, and so concluded the evening. + +Wednesday, July 3.--This morning I awaked at four o'clock for my +distemper seldom suffered me to sleep later. I presently got up, +and had the pleasure of enjoying the sight of a tempestuous sea +for four hours before the captain was stirring; for he loved to +indulge himself in morning slumbers, which were attended with a +wind-music, much more agreeable to the performers than to the +hearers, especially such as have, as I had, the privilege of +sitting in the orchestra. At eight o 'clock the captain rose, +and sent his boat on shore. I ordered my man likewise to go in +it, as my distemper was not of that kind which entirely deprives +us of appetite. Now, though the captain had well victualled his +ship with all manner of salt provisions for the voyage, and had +added great quantities of fresh stores, particularly of +vegetables, at Gravesend, such as beans and peas, which had been +on board only two days, and had possibly not been gathered above +two more, I apprehended I could provide better for myself at Deal +than the ship's ordinary seemed to promise. I accordingly sent +for fresh provisions of all kinds from the shore, in order to put +off the evil day of starving as long as possible. My man +returned with most of the articles I sent for, and I now thought +myself in a condition of living a week on my own provisions. I +therefore ordered my own dinner, which I wanted nothing but a +cook to dress and a proper fire to dress it at; but those were +not to be had, nor indeed any addition to my roast mutton, except +the pleasure of the captain's company, with that of the other +passengers; for my wife continued the whole day in a state of +dozing, and my other females, whose sickness did not abate by the +rolling of the ship at anchor, seemed more inclined to empty +their stomachs than to fill them. Thus I passed the whole day +(except about an hour at dinner) by myself, and the evening +concluded with the captain as the preceding one had done; one +comfortable piece of news he communicated to me, which was, that +he had no doubt of a prosperous wind in the morning; but as he +did not divulge the reasons of this confidence, and as I saw none +myself besides the wind being directly opposite, my faith in this +prophecy was not strong enough to build any great hopes upon. + +Thursday, July 4.--This morning, however, the captain seemed +resolved to fulfill his own predictions, whether the wind would +or no; he accordingly weighed anchor, and, taking the advantage +of the tide when the wind was not very boisterous, he hoisted his +sails; and, as if his power had been no less absolute over Aeolus +than it was over Neptune, he forced the wind to blow him on in +its own despite. + +But as all men who have ever been at sea well know how weak such +attempts are, and want no authorities of Scripture to prove that +the most absolute power of a captain of a ship is very contemptible +in the wind's eye, so did it befall our noble commander, who, +having struggled with the wind three or four hours, was obliged +to give over, and lost in a few minutes all that he had been +so long a-gaining; in short, we returned to our former station, +and once more cast anchor in the neighborhood of Deal. + +Here, though we lay near the shore, that we might promise +ourselves all the emolument which could be derived from it, we +found ourselves deceived; and that we might with as much +conveniency be out of the sight of land; for, except when the +captain launched forth his own boat, which he did always with +great reluctance, we were incapable of procuring anything from +Deal, but at a price too exorbitant, and beyond the reach even of +modern luxury--the fare of a boat from Deal, which lay at two +miles' distance, being at least three half-crowns, and, if we had +been in any distress for it, as many half-guineas; for these good +people consider the sea as a large common appendant to their +manor; in which when they find any of their fellow-creatures +impounded, they conclude that they have a full right of making +them pay at their own discretion for their deliverance: to say +the truth, whether it be that men who live on the sea-shore are +of an amphibious kind, and do not entirely partake of human +nature, or whatever else may be the reason, they are so far from +taking any share in the distresses of mankind, or of being moved +with any compassion for them, that they look upon them as +blessings showered down from above, and which the more they +improve to their own use, the greater is their gratitude and +piety. Thus at Gravesend a sculler requires a shilling for going +less way than he would row in London for threepence; and at Deal +a boat often brings more profit in a day than it can produce in +London in a week, or perhaps in a month; in both places the owner +of the boat founds his demand on the necessity and distress of +one who stands more or less in absolute want of his assistance, +and with the urgency of these always rises in the exorbitancy of +his demand, without ever considering that, from these very +circumstances, the power or ease of gratifying such demand is in +like proportion lessened. Now, as I am unwilling that some +conclusions, which may be, I am aware, too justly drawn from +these observations, should be imputed to human nature in general, +I have endeavored to account for them in a way more consistent +with the goodness and dignity of that nature. However it be, it +seems a little to reflect on the governors of such monsters that +they do not take some means to restrain these impositions, and +prevent them from triumphing any longer in the miseries of those +who are, in many circumstances at least, their fellow-creatures, +and considering the distresses of a wretched seaman, from his +being wrecked to his being barely windbound, as a blessing sent +among them from above, and calling it by that blasphemous name. + +Friday, July 5.--This day I sent a servant on board a man-of-war +that was stationed here, with my compliments to the captain, to +represent to him the distress of the ladies, and to desire the +favor of his long-boat to conduct us to Dover, at about seven +miles' distance; and at the same time presumed to make use of a +great lady's name, the wife of the first lord commissioner of the +admiralty, who would, I told him, be pleased with any kindness +shown by him towards us in our miserable condition. And this I +am convinced was true, from the humanity of the lady, though she +was entirely unknown to me. + +The captain returned a verbal answer to a long letter acquainting +me that what I desired could not be complied with, it being a +favor not in his power to grant. This might be, and I suppose +was, true; but it is as true that, if he was able to write, and +had pen, ink, and paper on board, he might have sent a written +answer, and that it was the part of a gentleman so to have done; +but this is a character seldom maintained on the watery element, +especially by those who exercise any power on it. Every +commander of a vessel here seems to think himself entirely free +from all those rules of decency and civility which direct and +restrain the conduct of the members of a society on shore; and +each, claiming absolute dominion in his little wooden world, +rules by his own laws and his own discretion. I do not, indeed, +know so pregnant an instance of the dangerous consequences of +absolute power, and its aptness to intoxicate the mind, as that +of those petty tyrants, who become such in a moment, from very +well-disposed and social members of that communion in which they +affect no superiority, but live in an orderly state of legal +subjection with their fellow-citizens. + +Saturday, July 6.--This morning our commander, declaring he was +sure the wind would change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide, +and weighed his anchor. His assurance, however, had the same +completion, and his endeavors the same success, with his formal +trial; and he was soon obliged to return once more to his old +quarters. Just before we let go our anchor, a small sloop, +rather than submit to yield us an inch of way, ran foul of our +ship, and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinate frolic would +have cost those aboard the sloop very dear, if our steersman had +not been too generous to exert his superiority, the certain +consequence of which would have been the immediate sinking of the +other. This contention of the inferior with a might capable of +crushing it in an instant may seem to argue no small share of +folly or madness, as well as of impudence; but I am convinced +there is very little danger in it: contempt is a port to which +the pride of man submits to fly with reluctance, but those who +are within it are always in a place of the most assured security; +for whosoever throws away his sword prefers, indeed, a less +honorable but much safer means of avoiding danger than he who +defends himself with it. And here we shall offer another +distinction, of the truth of which much reading and experience +have well convinced us, that as in the most absolute governments +there is a regular progression of slavery downwards, from the top +to the bottom, the mischief of which is seldom felt with any +great force and bitterness but by the next immediate degree; so +in the most dissolute and anarchical states there is as regular +an ascent of what is called rank or condition, which is always +laying hold of the head of him who is advanced but one step +higher on the ladder, who might, if he did not too much despise +such efforts, kick his pursuer headlong to the bottom. We will +conclude this digression with one general and short observation, +which will, perhaps, set the whole matter in a clearer light than +the longest and most labored harangue. Whereas envy of all +things most exposes us to danger from others, so contempt of all +things best secures us from them. And thus, while the dung-cart +and the sloop are always meditating mischief against the coach +and the ship, and throwing themselves designedly in their way, +the latter consider only their own security, and are not ashamed +to break the road and let the other pass by them. + +Monday, July 8.--Having passed our Sunday without anything +remarkable, unless the catching a great number of whitings in the +afternoon may be thought so, we now set sail on Monday at six +o'clock, with a little variation of wind; but this was so very +little, and the breeze itself so small, but the tide was our best +and indeed almost our only friend. This conducted us along the +short remainder of the Kentish shore. Here we passed that cliff +of Dover which makes so tremendous a figure in Shakespeare, and +which whoever reads without being giddy, must, according to Mr. +Addison's observation, have either a very good head or a very +bad, one; but which, whoever contracts any such ideas from the +sight of, must have at least a poetic if not a Shakesperian +genius. In truth, mountains, rivers, heroes, and gods owe great +part of their existence to the poets; and Greece and Italy do so +plentifully abound in the former, because they furnish so +glorious a number of the latter; who, while they bestowed +immortality on every little hillock and blind stream, left the +noblest rivers and mountains in the world to share the same +obscurity with the eastern and western poets, in which they are +celebrated. This evening we beat the sea of Sussex in sight of +Dungeness, with much more pleasure than progress; for the weather +was almost a perfect calm, and the moon, which was almost at the +full, scarce suffered a single cloud to veil her from our sight. + +Tuesday, Wednesday, July 9, 10.--These two days we had much the +same fine weather, and made much the same way; but in the evening +of the latter day a pretty fresh gale sprung up at N.N.W., which +brought us by the morning in sight of the Isle of Wight. + +Thursday, July 11.--This gale continued till towards noon; when +the east end of the island bore but little ahead of us. The +captain swaggered and declared he would keep the sea; but the +wind got the better of him, so that about three he gave up the +victory, and making a sudden tack stood in for the shore, passed +by Spithead and Portsmouth, and came to an anchor at a place +called Ryde on the island. + +A most tragical incident fell out this day at sea. While the +ship was under sail, but making as will appear no great way, a +kitten, one of four of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, fell +from the window into the water: an alarm was immediately given +to the captain, who was then upon deck, and received it with the +utmost concern and many bitter oaths. He immediately gave orders +to the steersman in favor of the poor thing, as he called it; the +sails were instantly slackened, and all hands, as the phrase is, +employed to recover the poor animal. I was, I own, extremely +surprised at all this; less indeed at the captain's extreme +tenderness than at his conceiving any possibility of success; for +if puss had had nine thousand instead of nine lives, I concluded +they had been all lost. The boatswain, however, had more +sanguine hopes, for, having stripped himself of his jacket, +breeches, and shirt, he leaped boldly into the water, and to my +great astonishment in a few minutes returned to the ship, bearing +the motionless animal in his mouth. Nor was this, I observed, a +matter of such great difficulty as it appeared to my ignorance, +and possibly may seem to that of my fresh-water reader. The +kitten was now exposed to air and sun on the deck, where its +life, of which it retained no symptoms, was despaired of by all. + +The captain's humanity, if I may so call it, did not so totally +destroy his philosophy as to make him yield himself up to +affliction on this melancholy occasion. Having felt his loss +like a man, he resolved to show he could bear it like one; and, +having declared he had rather have lost a cask of rum or brandy, +betook himself to threshing at backgammon with the Portuguese +friar, in which innocent amusement they had passed about +two-thirds of their time. + +But as I have, perhaps, a little too wantonly endeavored to raise +the tender passions of my readers in this narrative, I should +think myself unpardonable if I concluded it without giving them +the satisfaction of hearing that the kitten at last recovered, to +the great joy of the good captain, but to the great +disappointment of some of the sailors, who asserted that the +drowning a cat was the very surest way of raising a favorable +wind; a supposition of which, though we have heard several +plausible accounts, we will not presume to assign the true +original reason. + +Friday, July 12.--This day our ladies went ashore at Ryde, and +drank their afternoon tea at an ale-house there with great +satisfaction: here they were regaled with fresh cream, to which +they had been strangers since they left the Downs. + +Saturday, July 13.--The wind seeming likely to continue in the +same corner where it had been almost constantly for two months +together, I was persuaded by my wife to go ashore and stay at +Ryde till we sailed. I approved the motion much; for though I am +a great lover of the sea, I now fancied there was more pleasure +in breathing the fresh air of the land; but how to get thither +was the question; for, being really that dead luggage which I +considered all passengers to be in the beginning of this +narrative, and incapable of any bodily motion without external +impulse, it was in vain to leave the ship, or to determine to do +it, without the assistance of others. In one instance, perhaps, +the living, luggage is more difficult to be moved or removed than +an equal or much superior weight of dead matter; which, if of the +brittle kind, may indeed be liable to be broken through +negligence; but this, by proper care, may be almost certainly +prevented; whereas the fractures to which the living lumps are +exposed are sometimes by no caution avoidable, and often by no +art to be amended. + +I was deliberating on the means of conveyance, not so much out of +the ship to the boat as out of a little tottering boat to the +land; a matter which, as I had already experienced in the Thames, +was not extremely easy, when to be performed by any other limbs +than your own. Whilst I weighed all that could suggest itself on +this head, without strictly examining the merit of the several +schemes which were advanced by the captain and sailors, and, +indeed, giving no very deep attention even to my wife, who, as +well as her friend and my daughter, were exerting their tender +concern for my ease and safety, Fortune, for I am convinced she +had a hand in it, sent me a present of a buck; a present welcome +enough of itself, but more welcome on account of the vessel in +which it came, being a large hoy, which in some places would pass +for a ship, and many people would go some miles to see the sight. + +I was pretty easily conveyed on board this hoy; but to get from +hence to the shore was not so easy a task; for, however strange +it may appear, the water itself did not extend so far; an +instance which seems to explain those lines of Ovid, + +Omnia pontus erant, deerant quoque littora ponto, + +in a less tautological sense than hath generally been imputed to them. + +In fact, between the sea and the shore there was, at low water, +an impassable gulf, if I may so call it, of deep mud, which could +neither be traversed by walking nor swimming; so that for near +one half of the twenty-four hours Ryde was inaccessible by friend +or foe. But as the magistrates of this place seemed more to +desire the company of the former than to fear that of the latter, +they had begun to make a small causeway to the low-water mark, so +that foot passengers might land whenever they pleased; but as +this work was of a public kind, and would have cost a large sum +of money, at least ten pounds, and the magistrates, that is to +say, the churchwardens, the overseers, constable, and tithingman, +and the principal inhabitants, had every one of them some +separate scheme of private interest to advance at the expense of +the public, they fell out among themselves; and, after having +thrown away one half of the requisite sum, resolved at least to +save the other half, and rather be contented to sit down losers +themselves than to enjoy any benefit which might bring in a +greater profit to another. Thus that unanimity which is so +necessary in all public affairs became wanting, and every man, +from the fear of being a bubble to another, was, in reality, a +bubble to himself. + +However, as there is scarce any difficulty to which the strength +of men, assisted with the cunning of art, is not equal, I was at +last hoisted into a small boat, and being rowed pretty near the +shore, was taken up by two sailors, who waded with me through the +mud, and placed me in a chair on the land, whence they afterwards +conveyed me a quarter of a mile farther, and brought me to a +house which seemed to bid the fairest for hospitality of any in +Ryde. + +We brought with us our provisions from the ship, so that we +wanted nothing but a fire to dress our dinner, and a room in +which we might eat it. In neither of these had we any reason to +apprehend a disappointment, our dinner consisting only of beans +and bacon; and the worst apartment in his majesty's dominions, +either at home or abroad, being fully sufficient to answer our +present ideas of delicacy. + +Unluckily, however, we were disappointed in both; for when we +arrived about four at our inn, exulting in the hopes of +immediately seeing our beans smoking on the table, we had the +mortification of seeing them on the table indeed, but without +that circumstance which would have made the sight agreeable, +being in the same state in which we had dispatched them from our +ship. In excuse for this delay, though we had exceeded, almost +purposely, the time appointed, and our provision had arrived +three hours before, the mistress of the house acquainted us that +it was not for want of time to dress them that they were not +ready, but for fear of their being cold or over-done before we +should come; which she assured us was much worse than waiting a +few minutes for our dinner; an observation so very just, that it +is impossible to find any objection in it; but, indeed, it was +not altogether so proper at this time, for we had given the most +absolute orders to have them ready at four, and had been +ourselves, not without much care and difficulty, most exactly +punctual in keeping to the very minute of our appointment. But +tradesmen, inn-keepers, and servants, never care to indulge us in +matters contrary to our true interest, which they always know +better than ourselves; nor can any bribes corrupt them to go out +of their way while they are consulting our good in our own despite. + +Our disappointment in the other particular, in defiance of our +humility, as it was more extraordinary, was more provoking. In +short, Mrs. Francis (for that was the name of the good woman of +the house) no sooner received the news of our intended arrival +than she considered more the gentility than the humanity of her +guests, and applied herself not to that which kindles but to that +which extinguishes fire, and, forgetting to put on her pot, fell +to washing her house. + +As the messenger who had brought my venison was impatient to be +dispatched, I ordered it to be brought and laid on the table in +the room where I was seated; and the table not being large +enough, one side, and that a very bloody one, was laid on the +brick floor. I then ordered Mrs. Francis to be called in, in +order to give her instructions concerning it; in particular, what +I would have roasted and what baked; concluding that she would be +highly pleased with the prospect of so much money being spent in +her house as she might have now reason to expect, if the wind +continued only a few days longer to blow from the same points +whence it had blown for several weeks past. + +I soon saw good cause, I must confess, to despise my own +sagacity. Mrs. Francis, having received her orders, without +making any answer, snatched the side from the floor, which +remained stained with blood, and, bidding a servant to take up +that on the table, left the room with no pleasant countenance, +muttering to herself that, "had she known the litter which was to +have been made, she would not have taken such pains to wash her +house that morning. If this was gentility, much good may it do +such gentlefolks; for her part she had no notion of it." From +these murmurs I received two hints. The one, that it was not +from a mistake of our inclination that the good woman had starved +us, but from wisely consulting her own dignity, or rather perhaps +her vanity, to which our hunger was offered up as a sacrifice. +The other, that I was now sitting in a damp room, a circumstance, +though it had hitherto escaped my notice from the color of the +bricks, which was by no means to be neglected in a valetudinary state. + +My wife, who, besides discharging excellently well her own and +all the tender offices becoming the female character; who, +besides being a faithful friend, an amiable companion, and a +tender nurse, could likewise supply the wants of a decrepit +husband, and occasionally perform his part, had, before this, +discovered the immoderate attention to neatness in Mrs. Francis, +and provided against its ill consequences. She had found, though +not under the same roof, a very snug apartment belonging to Mr. +Francis, and which had escaped the mop by his wife's being +satisfied it could not possibly be visited by gentle-folks. This +was a dry, warm, oaken-floored barn, lined on both sides with +wheaten straw, and opening at one end into a green field and a +beautiful prospect. Here, without hesitation, she ordered the +cloth to be laid, and came hastily to snatch me from worse perils +by water than the common dangers of the sea. + +Mrs. Francis, who could not trust her own ears, or could not +believe a footman in so extraordinary a phenomenon, followed my +wife, and asked her if she had indeed ordered the cloth to be +laid in the barn? She answered in the affirmative; upon which +Mrs. Francis declared she would not dispute her pleasure, but it +was the first time she believed that quality had ever preferred a +barn to a house. She showed at the same time the most pregnant +marks of contempt, and again lamented the labor she had undergone, +through her ignorance of the absurd taste of her guests. + +At length we were seated in one of the most pleasant spots I +believe in the kingdom, and were regaled with our beans and +bacon, in which there was nothing deficient but the quantity. +This defect was however so deplorable that we had consumed our +whole dish before we had visibly lessened our hunger. We now +waited with impatience the arrival of our second course, which +necessity, and not luxury, had dictated. This was a joint of +mutton which Mrs. Francis had been ordered to provide; but when, +being tired with expectation, we ordered our servants TO SEE FOR +SOMETHING ELSE, we were informed that there was nothing else; on +which Mrs. Francis, being summoned, declared there was no such +thing as mutton to be had at Ryde. When I expressed some +astonishment at their having no butcher in a village so situated, +she answered they had a very good one, and one that killed all +sorts of meat in season, beef two or three times a year, and +mutton the whole year round; but that, it being then beans and +peas time, he killed no meat, by reason he was not sure of +selling it. This she had not thought worthy of communication, +any more than that there lived a fisherman at next door, who was +then provided with plenty of soles, and whitings, and lobsters, +far superior to those which adorn a city feast. This discovery +being made by accident, we completed the best, the pleasantest, +and the merriest meal, with more appetite, more real solid +luxury, and more festivity, than was ever seen in an +entertainment at White's. + +It may be wondered at, perhaps, that Mrs. Francis should be so +negligent of providing for her guests, as she may seem to be thus +inattentive to her own interest; but this was not the case; for, +having clapped a poll-tax on our heads at our arrival, and +determined at what price to discharge our bodies from her house, +the less she suffered any other to share in the levy the clearer +it came into her own pocket; and that it was better to get twelve +pence in a shilling than ten pence, which latter would be the +case if she afforded us fish at any rate. + +Thus we passed a most agreeable day owing to good appetites and +good humor; two hearty feeders which will devour with +satisfaction whatever food you place before them; whereas, +without these, the elegance of St. James's, the charde, the +perigord-pie, or the ortolan, the venison, the turtle, or the +custard, may titillate the throat, but will never convey +happiness to the heart or cheerfulness to the countenance. + +As the wind appeared still immovable, my wife proposed my lying +on shore. I presently agreed, though in defiance of an act of +parliament, by which persons wandering abroad and lodging in +ale-houses are decreed to be rogues and vagabonds; and this too +after having been very singularly officious in putting that law +in execution. My wife, having reconnoitered the house, reported +that there was one room in which were two beds. It was +concluded, therefore, that she and Harriot should occupy one and +myself take possession of the other. She added likewise an +ingenious recommendation of this room to one who had so long been +in a cabin, which it exactly resembled, as it was sunk down with +age on one side, and was in the form of a ship with gunwales too. + +For my own part, I make little doubt but this apartment was an +ancient temple, built with the materials of a wreck, and probably +dedicated to Neptune in honor of THE BLESSING sent by him to the +inhabitants; such blessings having in all ages been very common +to them. The timber employed in it confirms this opinion, being +such as is seldom used by ally but ship-builders. I do not find +indeed any mention of this matter in Hearn; but perhaps its +antiquity was too modern to deserve his notice. Certain it is +that this island of Wight was not an early convert to +Christianity; nay, there is some reason to doubt whether it was +ever entirely converted. But I have only time to touch slightly +on things of this kind, which, luckily for us, we have a society +whose peculiar profession it is to discuss and develop. + +Sunday, July 19.--This morning early I summoned Mrs. Francis, in +order to pay her the preceding day's account. As I could +recollect only two or three articles I thought there was no +necessity of pen and ink. In a single instance only we had +exceeded what the law allows gratis to a foot-soldier on his +march, viz., vinegar, salt, etc., and dressing his meat. I +found, however, I was mistaken in my calculation; for when the +good woman attended with her bill it contained as follows:-- + L. s. d. + + Bread and beer 0 2 4 + + Wind 0 2 0 + + Rum 0 2 0 + + Dressing dinner 0 3 0 + + Tea 0 1 6 + + Firing 0 1 0 + + Lodging 0 1 6 + Servants' lodging 0 0 6 + + ----------------- + + L 0 13 10 + +Now that five people and two servants should live a day and night +at a public-house for so small a sum will appear incredible to +any person in London above the degree of a chimney-sweeper; but +more astonishing will it seem that these people should remain so +long at such a house without tasting any other delicacy than +bread, small beer, a teacupful of milk called cream, a glass of +rum converted into punch by their own materials, and one bottle +of wind, of which we only tasted a single glass though possibly, +indeed, our servants drank the remainder of the bottle. + +This wind is a liquor of English manufacture, and its flavor is +thought very delicious by the generality of the English, who +drink it in great quantities. Every seventh year is thought to +produce as much as the other six. It is then drank so +plentifully that the whole nation are in a manner intoxicated by +it; and consequently very little business is carried on at that +season. It resembles in color the red wine which is imported +from Portugal, as it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, and +from this agreement in the orthography, the one is often +confounded with the other, though both are seldom esteemed by the +same person. It is to be had in every parish of the kingdom, and +a pretty large quantity is consumed in the metropolis, where +several taverns are set apart solely for the vendition of this +liquor, the masters never dealing in any other. The disagreement +in our computation produced some small remonstrance to Mrs. +Francis on my side; but this received an immediate answer: "She +scorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always +frequented by the very best gentry of the island; and she had +never had a bill found fault with in her life, though she had +lived upwards of forty years in the house, and within that time +the greatest gentry in Hampshire had been at it; and that lawyer +Willis never went to any other when he came to those parts. That +for her part she did not get her livelihood by travelers, who +were gone and away, and she never expected to see them more, but +that her neighbors might come again; wherefore, to be sure, they +had the only right to complain." + +She was proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed +likely to stretch the discourse to an immoderate length, when I +suddenly cut all short by paying the bill. + +This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from +curiosity than religion; they were attended by the captain in a +most military attire, with his cockade in his hat and his sword +by his side. So unusual an appearance in this little chapel drew +the attention of all present, and probably disconcerted the +women, who were in dishabille, and wished themselves dressed, for +the sake of the curate, who was the greatest of their beholders. +While I was left alone I received a visit from Mr. Francis +himself, who was much more considerable as a farmer than as an +inn-holder. Indeed, he left the latter entirely to the care of +his wife, and he acted wisely, I believe, in so doing. As +nothing more remarkable passed on this day I will close it with +the account of these two characters, as far as a few days' +residence could inform me of them. If they should appear as new +to the reader as they did to me, he will not be displeased at +finding them here. This amiable couple seemed to border hard on +their grand climacteric; nor indeed were they shy of owning +enough to fix their ages within a year or two of that time. They +appeared to be rather proud of having employed their time well +than ashamed of having lived so long; the only reason which I +could ever assign why some fine ladies, and fine gentlemen too, +should desire to be thought younger than they really are by the +contemporaries of their grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too +hastily credit appearances, might doubt whether they had made so +good a use of their time as I would insinuate, since there was no +appearance of anything but poverty, want, and wretchedness, about +their house; nor could they produce anything to a customer in +exchange for his money but a few bottles of wind, and spirituous +liquors, and some very bad ale, to drink; with rusty bacon and +worse cheese to eat. But then it should be considered, on the +other side, that whatever they received was almost as entirely +clear profit as the blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn being +the very reverse of a coffee-house; for here you can neither sit +for nothing nor have anything for your money. + +Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the +marks of antiquity visible. Scarce anything was to be seen which +had not some scar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an +utensil, it was manifest, had been purchased within a dozen years +last past; so that whatever money had come into the house during +that period at least must have remained in it, unless it had been +sent abroad for food, or other perishable commodities; but these +were supplied by a small portion of the fruits of the farm, in +which the farmer allowed he had a very good bargain. In fact, it +is inconceivable what sums may be collected by starving only, and +how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will but be contented +to live miserable. + +Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as +some apprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of +his cheerfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the +contrary; and so did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature, +had a plump, round face, with a kind of smile on it, and seemed +to borrow an air of wretchedness rather from his coat's age than +from his own. + +The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more +than any possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember +to have seen any caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot, +or in any other modern writer or regimen. + +Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the learned Dr. James's +Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is a very +common food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not +long since very liberally entertained with it by the present +attorney and other eminent lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and +were all made horribly sick by it. + +But though it should not be found among our English physical +writers, we may be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks; +for nothing considerable in nature escapes their notice, though +many things considerable in them, it is to be feared, have +escaped the notice of their readers. The Greeks, then, to all +such as feed too voraciously on this diet, give the name of +HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, I suppose, translate MEN +THAT EAT THEMSELVES. + +As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food, +so nothing is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only +cheap thing the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish +might produce this disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the +same aversion in a people of Ethiopia to the same cause; he calls +them the fish-eaters, and asserts that they cannot be brought to +eat a single meal with the Heautofagi by any persuasion, threat, +or violence whatever, not even though they should kill their +children before their faces. + +What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting +this matter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple +mistake, arising from a very excusable ignorance; that the +passions of men are capable of swallowing food as well as their +appetites; that the former, in feeding, resemble the state of +those animals who chew the cud; and therefore, such men, in some +sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as it were to +devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a meager aspect and +thin habit of body, as surely as from what is called a +consumption. Our farmer was one of these. He had no more +passion than an Ichthuofagus or Ethiopian fisher. He wished not +for anything, thought not of anything; indeed, he scarce did +anything or said anything. Here I cannot be understood strictly; +for then I must describe a nonentity, whereas I would rob him of +nothing but that free agency which is the cause of all the +corruption and of all the misery of human nature. No man, +indeed, ever did more than the farmer, for he was an absolute +slave to labor all the week; but in truth, as my sagacious reader +must have at first apprehended, when I said he resigned the care +of the house to his wife, I meant more than I then expressed, +even the house and all that belonged to it; for he was really a +farmer only under the direction of his wife. In a word, so +composed, so serene, so placid a countenance, I never saw; and he +satisfied himself by answering to every question he was asked, "I +don't know anything about it, sir; I leaves all that to my wife." + +Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil, +have made no composition in life, and for want of all savor must +have palled every taste; nature or fortune, or both of them, took +care to provide a proper quantity of acid in the materials that +formed the wife, and to render her a perfect helpmate for so +tranquil a husband. She abounded in whatsoever he was defective; +that is to say, in almost everything. She was indeed as vinegar +to oil, or a brisk wind to a standing-pool, and preserved all +from stagnation and corruption. + +Quin the player, on taking a nice and severe survey of a +fellow-comedian, burst forth into this exclamation:--"If that +fellow be not a rogue, God Almighty doth not write a legible hand." + +Whether he guessed right or no is not worth my while to examine; +certain it is that the latter, having wrought his features into a +proper harmony to become the characters of Iago, Shylock, and +others of the same cast, gave us a semblance of truth to the +observation that was sufficient to confirm the wit of it. +Indeed, we may remark, in favor of the physiognomist, though the +law has made him a rogue and vagabond, that Nature is seldom +curious in her works within, without employing some little pains +on the outside; and this more particularly in mischievous +characters, in forming which, as Mr. Derham observes, in venomous +insects, as the sting or saw of a wasp, she is sometimes +wonderfully industrious. Now, when she hath thus completely +armed our hero to carry on a war with man, she never fails of +furnishing that innocent lambkin with some means of knowing his +enemy, and foreseeing his designs. Thus she hath been observed +to act in the case of a rattlesnake, which never meditates a +human prey without giving warning of his approach. This +observation will, I am convinced, hold most true, if applied to +the most venomous individuals of human insects. A tyrant, a +trickster, and a bully, generally wear the marks of their several +dispositions in their countenances; so do the vixen, the shrew, +the scold, and all other females of the like kind. But, perhaps, +nature hath never afforded a stronger example of all this than in +the case of Mrs. Francis. She was a short, squat woman; her head +was closely joined to her shoulders, where it was fixed somewhat +awry; every feature of her countenance was sharp and pointed; her +face was furrowed with the smallpox; and her complexion, which +seemed to be able to turn milk to curds, not a little resembled +in color such milk as had already undergone that operation. She +appeared, indeed, to have many symptoms of a deep jaundice in her +look; but the strength and firmness of her voice overbalanced +them all; the tone of this was a sharp treble at a distance, for +I seldom heard it on the same floor, but was usually waked with +it in the morning, and entertained with it almost continually +through the whole day. + +Though vocal be usually put in opposition to instrumental music, +I question whether this might not be thought to partake of the +nature of both; for she played on two instruments, which she +seemed to keep for no other use from morning till night; these +were two maids, or rather scolding-stocks, who, I suppose, by +some means or other, earned their board, and she gave them their +lodging gratis, or for no other service than to keep her lungs in +constant exercise. + +She differed, as I have said, in every particular from her +husband; but very remarkably in this, that, as it was impossible +to displease him, so it was as impossible to please her; and as +no art could remove a smile from his countenance, so could no art +carry it into hers. If her bills were remonstrated against she +was offended with the tacit censure of her fair-dealing; if they +were not, she seemed to regard it as a tacit sarcasm on her +folly, which might have set down larger prices with the same +success. On this lather hint she did indeed improve, for she +daily raised some of her articles. A pennyworth of fire was +to-day rated at a shilling, to-morrow at eighteen-pence; and if +she dressed us two dishes for two shillings on the Saturday, we +paid half-a-crown for the cookery of one on the Sunday; and, +whenever she was paid, she never left the room without lamenting +the small amount of her bill, saying, "she knew not how it was +that others got their money by gentle-folks, but for her part she +had not the art of it." When she was asked why she complained, +when she was paid all she demanded, she answered, "she could not +deny that, nor did she know she had omitted anything; but that it +was but a poor bill for gentle-folks to pay." I accounted for +all this by her having heard, that it is a maxim with the +principal inn-holders on the continent, to levy considerable +sums on their guests, who travel with many horses and servants, +though such guests should eat little or nothing in their houses; +the method being, I believe, in such cases, to lay a capitation +on the horses, and not on their masters. But she did not +consider that in most of these inns a very great degree of +hunger, without any degree of delicacy, may be satisfied; and +that in all such inns there is some appearance, at least, of +provision, as well as of a man-cook to dress it, one of the +hostlers being always furnished with a cook's cap, waistcoat, and +apron, ready to attend gentlemen and ladies on their summons; +that the case therefore of such inns differed from hers, where +there was nothing to eat or to drink, and in reality no house to +inhabit, no chair to sit upon, nor any bed to lie in; that one +third or fourth part therefore of the levy imposed at inns was, +in truth, a higher tax than the whole was when laid on in the +other, where, in order to raise a small sum, a man is obliged to +submit to pay as many various ways for the same thing as he doth +to the government for the light which enters through his own +window into his own house, from his own estate; such are the +articles of bread and beer, firing, eating and dressing dinner. + +The foregoing is a very imperfect sketch of this extraordinary +couple; for everything is here lowered instead of being +heightened. Those who would see them set forth in more lively +colors, and with the proper ornaments, may read the descriptions +of the Furies in some of the classical poets, or of the Stoic +philosophers in the works of Lucian. + +Monday, July 20.--This day nothing remarkable passed; Mrs. +Francis levied a tax of fourteen shillings for the Sunday. We +regaled ourselves at dinner with venison and good claret of our +own; and in the afternoon, the women, attended by the captain, +walked to see a delightful scene two miles distant, with the +beauties of which they declared themselves most highly charmed at +their return, as well as with the goodness of the lady of the +mansion, who had slipped out of the way that my wife and their +company might refresh themselves with the flowers and fruits with +which her garden abounded. + +Tuesday, July 21.--This day, having paid our taxes of yesterday, +we were permitted to regale ourselves with more venison. Some of +this we would willingly have exchanged for mutton; but no such +flesh was to be had nearer than Portsmouth, from whence it would +have cost more to convey a joint to us than the freight of a +Portugal ham from Lisbon to London amounts to; for though the +water-carriage be somewhat cheaper here than at Deal, yet can you +find no waterman who will go on board his boat, unless by two or +three hours' rowing he can get drunk for the residue of the week. + +And here I have an opportunity, which possibly may not offer +again, of publishing some observations on that political economy +of this nation, which, as it concerns only the regulation of the +mob, is below the notice of our great men; though on the due +regulation of this order depend many emoluments, which the great +men themselves, or at least many who tread close on their heels, +may enjoy, as well as some dangers which may some time or other +arise from introducing a pure state of anarchy among them. I +will represent the case, as it appears to me, very fairly and +impartially between the mob and their betters. The whole +mischief which infects this part of our economy arises from the +vague and uncertain use of a word called liberty, of which, as +scarce any two men with whom I have ever conversed seem to have +one and the same idea, I am inclined to doubt whether there be +any simple universal notion represented by this word, or whether +it conveys any clearer or more determinate idea than some of +those old Punic compositions of syllables preserved in one of the +comedies of Plautus, but at present, as I conceive, not supposed +to be understood by any one. + +By liberty, however, I apprehend, is commonly understood the +power of doing what we please; not absolutely, for then it would +be inconsistent with law, by whose control the liberty of the +freest people, except only the Hottentots and wild Indians, must +always be restrained. + +But, indeed, however largely we extend, or however moderately we +confine, the sense of the word, no politician will, I presume, +contend that it is to pervade in an equal degree, and be, with +the same extent, enjoyed by, every member of society; no such +polity having been ever found, unless among those vile people +just before commemorated. Among the Greeks and Romans the +servile and free conditions were opposed to each other; and no +man who had the misfortune to be enrolled under the former could +lay any claim to liberty till the right was conveyed to him by +that master whose slave he was, either by the means of conquest, +of purchase, or of birth. + +This was the state of all the free nations in the world; and +this, till very lately, was understood to be the case of our own. + +I will not indeed say this is the case at present, the lowest +class of our people having shaken off all the shackles of their +superiors, and become not only as free, but even freer, than most +of their superiors. I believe it cannot be doubted, though +perhaps we have no recent instance of it, that the personal +attendance of every man who hath three hundred pounds per annum, +in parliament, is indispensably his duty; and that, if the +citizens and burgesses of any city or borough shall choose such a +one, however reluctant he appear, he may be obliged to attend, +and be forcibly brought to his duty by the sergeant-at-arms. + +Again, there are numbers of subordinate offices, some of which +are of burden, and others of expense, in the civil +government--all of which persons who are qualified are liable to +have imposed on them, may be obliged to undertake and properly +execute, notwithstanding any bodily labor, or even danger, to +which they may subject themselves, under the penalty of fines and +imprisonment; nay, and what may appear somewhat hard, may be +compelled to satisfy the losses which are eventually incident, to +that of sheriff in particular, out of their own private fortunes; +and though this should prove the ruin of a family, yet the +public, to whom the price is due, incurs no debt or obligation to +preserve its officer harmless, let his innocence appear ever so +clearly. I purposely omit the mention of those military or +military duties which our old constitution laid upon its greatest +members. These might, indeed, supply their posts with some other +able-bodied men; but if no such could have been found, the +obligation nevertheless remained, and they were compellable to +serve in their own proper persons. The only one, therefore, who +is possessed of absolute liberty is the lowest member of the +society, who, if he prefers hunger, or the wild product of the +fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, with the indulgence of ease +and laziness, to a food a little more delicate, but purchased at +the expense of labor, may lay himself under a shade; nor can be +forced to take the other alternative from that which he hath, I +will not affirm whether wisely or foolishly, chosen. + +Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of the last Vagrant Act, where +all such persons are compellable to work for the usual and +accustomed wages allowed in the place; but this is a clause +little known to the justices of the peace, and least likely to be +executed by those who do know it, as they know likewise that it +is formed on the ancient power of the justices to fix and settle +these wages every year, making proper allowances for the scarcity +and plenty of the times, the cheapness and dearness of the place; +and that THE USUAL AND ACCUSTOMED WAGES are words without any +force or meaning, when there are no such; but every man spunges +and raps whatever he can get; and will haggle as long and +struggle as hard to cheat his employer of twopence in a day's +labor as an honest tradesman will to cheat his customers of the +same sum in a yard of cloth or silk. + +It is a great pity then that this power, or rather this practice, +was not revived; but, this having been so long omitted that it is +become obsolete, will be best done by a new law, in which this +power, as well as the consequent power of forcing the poor to +labor at a moderate and reasonable rate, should be well +considered and their execution facilitated; for gentlemen who +give their time and labor gratis, and even voluntarily, to the +public, have a right to expect that all their business be made as +easy as possible; and to enact laws without doing this is to fill +our statute-books, much too full already, still fuller with dead +letter, of no use but to the printer of the acts of parliament. +That the evil which I have here pointed at is of itself worth +redressing, is, I apprehend, no subject of dispute; for why +should any persons in distress be deprived of the assistance of +their fellow-subjects, when they are willing amply to reward them +for their labor? or, why should the lowest of the people be +permitted to exact ten times the value of their work? For those +exactions increase with the degrees of necessity in their object, +insomuch that on the former side many are horribly imposed upon, +and that often in no trifling matters. I was very well assured +that at Deal no less than ten guineas was required, and paid by +the supercargo of an Indiaman, for carrying him on board two +miles from the shore when she was just ready to sail; so that his +necessity, as his pillager well understood, was absolute. Again, +many others, whose indignation will not submit to such plunder, +are forced to refuse the assistance, though they are often great +sufferers by so doing. On the latter side, the lowest of the +people are encouraged in laziness and idleness; while they live +by a twentieth part of the labor that ought to maintain them, +which is diametrically opposite to the interest of the public; +for that requires a great deal to be done, not to be paid, for a +little. And moreover, they are confirmed in habits of exaction, +and are taught to consider the distresses of their superiors as +their own fair emolument. But enough of this matter, of which I +at first intended only to convey a hint to those who are alone +capable of applying the remedy, though they are the last to whom +the notice of those evils would occur, without some such monitor +as myself, who am forced to travel about the world in the form of +a passenger. I cannot but say I heartily wish our governors +would attentively consider this method of fixing the price of +labor, and by that means of compelling the poor to work, since +the due execution of such powers will, I apprehend, be found the +true and only means of making them useful, and of advancing trade +from its present visibly declining state to the height to which +Sir William Petty, in his Political Arithmetic, thinks it capable +of being carried. + +In the afternoon the lady of the above-mentioned mansion called +at our inn, and left her compliments to us with Mrs. Francis, +with an assurance that while we continued wind-bound in that +place, where she feared we could be but indifferently +accommodated, we were extremely welcome to the use of anything +which her garden or her house afforded. So polite a message +convinced us, in spite of some arguments to the contrary, that we +were not on the coast of Africa, or on some island where the few +savage inhabitants have little of human in them besides their +form. And here I mean nothing less than to derogate from the +merit of this lady, who is not only extremely polite in her +behavior to strangers of her own rank, but so extremely good and +charitable to all her poor neighbors who stand in need of her +assistance, that she hath the universal love and praises of all +who live near her. But, in reality, how little doth the +acquisition of so valuable a character, and the full indulgence +of so worthy a disposition, cost those who possess it! Both are +accomplished by the very offals which fall from a table +moderately plentiful. That they are enjoyed therefore by so few +arises truly from there being so few who have any such +disposition to gratify, or who aim at any such character. + +Wednesday, July 22.--This morning, after having been mulcted as +usual, we dispatched a servant with proper acknowledgments of the +lady's goodness; but confined our wants entirely to the +productions of her garden. He soon returned, in company with the +gardener, both richly laden with almost every particular which a +garden at this most fruitful season of the year produces. While +we were regaling ourselves with these, towards the close of our +dinner, we received orders from our commander, who had dined that +day with some inferior officers on board a man-of-war, to return +instantly to the ship; for that the wind was become favorable and +he should weigh that evening. These orders were soon followed by +the captain himself, who was still in the utmost hurry, though +the occasion of it had long since ceased; for the wind had, +indeed, a little shifted that afternoon, but was before this very +quietly set down in its old quarters. + +This last was a lucky hit for me; for, as the captain, to whose +orders we resolved to pay no obedience, unless delivered by +himself, did not return till past six, so much time seemed +requisite to put up the furniture of our bed-chamber or +dining-room, for almost every article, even to some of the +chairs, were either our own or the captain's property; so much +more in conveying it as well as myself, as dead a luggage as any, +to the shore, and thence to the ship, that the night threatened +first to overtake us. A terrible circumstance to me, in my +decayed condition; especially as very heavy showers of rain, +attended with a high wind, continued to fall incessantly; the +being carried through which two miles in the dark, in a wet and +open boat, seemed little less than certain death. However, as my +commander was absolute, his orders peremptory, and my obedience +necessary, I resolved to avail myself of a philosophy which hath +been of notable use to me in the latter part of my life, and +which is contained in this hemistich of Virgil:-- + +----Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est. + +The meaning of which, if Virgil had any, I think I rightly +understood, and rightly applied. As I was therefore to be +entirely passive in my motion, I resolved to abandon myself to +the conduct of those who were to carry me into a cart when it +returned from unloading the goods. + +But before this, the captain, perceiving what had happened in the +clouds, and that the wind remained as much his enemy as ever, +came upstairs to me with a reprieve till the morning. This was, +I own, very agreeable news, and I little regretted the trouble of +refurnishing my apartment, by sending back for the goods. + +Mrs. Francis was not well pleased with this. + +As she understood the reprieve to be only till the morning, she +saw nothing but lodging to be possibly added, out of which she +was to deduct fire and candle, and the remainder, she thought, +would scarce pay her for her trouble. She exerted therefore all +the ill-humor of which she was mistress, and did all she could to +thwart and perplex everything during the whole evening. + +Thursday, July 23.--Early in the morning the captain, who had +remained on shore all night, came to visit us, and to press us to +make haste on board. "I am resolved," says he, "not to lose a +moment now the wind is coming about fair: for my own part, I +never was surer of a wind in all my life." I use his very words; +nor will I presume to interpret or comment upon them farther than +by observing that they were spoke in the utmost hurry. + +We promised to be ready as soon as breakfast was over, but this +was not so soon as was expected; for, in removing our goods the +evening before, the tea-chest was unhappily lost. Every place +was immediately searched, and many where it was impossible for it +to be; for this was a loss of much greater consequence than it +may at first seem to many of my readers. Ladies and +valetudinarians do not easily dispense with the use of this +sovereign cordial in a single instance; but to undertake a long +voyage, without any probability of being supplied with it the +whole way, was above the reach of patience. And yet, dreadful as +this calamity was, it seemed unavoidable. The whole town of Ryde +could not supply a single leaf; for, as to what Mrs. Francis and +the shop called by that name, it was not of Chinese growth. It +did not indeed in the least resemble tea, either in smell or +taste, or in any particular, unless in being a leaf; for it was +in truth no other than a tobacco of the mundungus species. And +as for the hopes of relief in any other port, they were not to be +depended upon, for the captain had positively declared he was +sure of a wind, and would let go his anchor no more till he +arrived in the Tajo. + +When a good deal of time had been spent, most of it indeed wasted +on this occasion, a thought occurred which every one wondered at +its not having presented itself the first moment. This was to +apply to the good lady, who could not fail of pitying and +relieving such distress. A messenger was immediately despatched +with an account of our misfortune, till whose return we employed +ourselves in preparatives for our departure, that we might have +nothing to do but to swallow our breakfast when it arrived. The +tea-chest, though of no less consequence to us than the +military-chest to a general, was given up as lost, or rather as +stolen, for though I would not, for the world, mention any +particular name, it is certain we had suspicions, and all, I am +afraid, fell on the same person. + +The man returned from the worthy lady with much expedition, and +brought with him a canister of tea, despatched with so true a +generosity, as well as politeness, that if our voyage had been as +long again we should have incurred no danger of being brought to +a short allowance in this most important article. At the very +same instant likewise arrived William the footman with our own +tea-chest. It had been, indeed, left in the hoy, when the other +goods were re-landed, as William, when he first heard it was +missing, had suspected; and whence, had not the owner of the hoy +been unluckily out of the way, he had retrieved it soon enough to +have prevented our giving the lady an opportunity of displaying +some part of her goodness. To search the hoy was, indeed, too +natural a suggestion to have escaped any one, nor did it escape +being mentioned by many of us; but we were dissuaded from it by +my wife's maid, who perfectly well remembered she had left the +chest in the bed-chamber; for that she had never given it out of +her hand in her way to or from the hoy; but William perhaps knew +the maid better, and best understood how far she was to be +believed; for otherwise he would hardly of his own accord, after +hearing her declaration, have hunted out the hoy-man, with much +pains and difficulty. Thus ended this scene, which began with +such appearance of distress, and ended with becoming the subject +of mirth and laughter. Nothing now remained but to pay our +taxes, which were indeed laid with inconceivable severity. +Lodging was raised sixpence, fire in the same proportion, and +even candles, which had hitherto escaped, were charged with a +wantonness of imposition, from the beginning, and placed under +the style of oversight. We were raised a whole pound, whereas we +had only burned ten, in five nights, and the pound consisted of +twenty-four. + +Lastly, an attempt was made which almost as far exceeds human +credulity to believe as it did human patience to submit to. This +was to make us pay as much for existing an hour or two as for +existing a whole day; and dressing dinner was introduced as an +article, though we left the house before either pot or spit had +approached the fire. Here I own my patience failed me, and I +became an example of the truth of the observation, "That all +tyranny and oppression may be carried too far, and that a yoke +may be made too intolerable for the neck of the tamest slave." +When I remonstrated, with some warmth, against this grievance, +Mrs. Francis gave me a look, and left the room without making any +answer. She returned in a minute, running to me with pen, ink, +and paper, in her hand, and desired me to make my own bill; "for +she hoped," she said "I did not expect that her house was to be +dirtied, and her goods spoiled and consumed for nothing. The +whole is but thirteen shillings. Can gentlefolks lie a whole +night at a public-house for less? If they can I am sure it is +time to give off being a landlady: but pay me what you please; I +would have people know that I value money as little as other +folks. But I was always a fool, as I says to my husband, and +never knows which side my bread is buttered of. And yet, to be +sure, your honor shall be my warning not to be bit so again. +Some folks knows better than other some how to make their bills. +Candles! why yes, to be sure; why should not travelers pay for +candles? I am sure I pays for my candles, and the chandler pays +the king's majesty for them; and if he did not I must, so as it +comes to the same thing in the end. To be sure I am out of +sixteens at present, but these burn as white and as clear, though +not quite so large. I expects my chandler here soon, or I would +send to Portsmouth, if your honor was to stay any time longer. +But when folks stays only for a wind, you knows there can be no +dependence on such!" Here she put on a little slyness of +aspect, and seemed willing to submit to interruption. I +interrupted her accordingly by throwing down half a guinea, and +declared I had no more English money, which was indeed true; and, +as she could not immediately change the thirty-six shilling +pieces, it put a final end to the dispute. Mrs. Francis soon +left the room, and we soon after left the house; nor would this +good woman see us or wish us a good voyage. I must not, however, +quit this place, where we had been so ill-treated, without doing +it impartial justice, and recording what may, with the strictest +truth, be said in its favor. + +First, then, as to its situation, it is, I think, most +delightful, and in the most pleasant spot in the whole island. +It is true it wants the advantage of that beautiful river which +leads from Newport to Cowes; but the prospect here extending to +the sea, and taking in Portsmouth, Spithead, and St. Helen's, +would be more than a recompense for the loss of the Thames +itself, even in the most delightful part of Berkshire or +Buckinghamshire, though another Denham, or another Pope, should +unite in celebrating it. For my own part, I confess myself so +entirely fond of a sea prospect, that I think nothing on the land +can equal it; and if it be set off with shipping, I desire to +borrow no ornament from the terra firma. A fleet of ships is, in +my opinion, the noblest object which the art of man hath ever +produced; and far beyond the power of those architects who deal +in brick, in stone, or in marble. + +When the late Sir Robert Walpole, one of the best of men and of +ministers, used to equip us a yearly fleet at Spithead, his +enemies of taste must have allowed that he, at least, treated the +nation with a fine sight for their money. A much finer, indeed, +than the same expense in an encampment could have produced. For +what indeed is the best idea which the prospect of a number of +huts can furnish to the mind, but of a number of men forming +themselves into a society before the art of building more +substantial houses was known? This, perhaps, would be agreeable +enough; but, in truth, there is a much worse idea ready to step +in before it, and that is of a body of cut-throats, the supports +of tyranny, the invaders of the just liberties and properties of +mankind, the plunderers of the industrious, the ravishers of the +chaste, the murderers of the innocent, and, in a word, the +destroyers of the plenty, the peace, and the safety, of their +fellow-creatures. + +And what, it may be said, are these men-of-war which seem so +delightful an object to our eyes? Are they not alike the support +of tyranny and oppression of innocence, carrying with them +desolation and ruin wherever their masters please to send them? +This is indeed too true; and however the ship of war may, in its +bulk and equipment, exceed the honest merchantman, I heartily +wish there was no necessity for it; for, though I must own the +superior beauty of the object on one side, I am more pleased with +the superior excellence of the idea which I can raise in my mind +on the other, while I reflect on the art and industry of mankind +engaged in the daily improvements of commerce to the mutual +benefit of all countries, and to the establishment and happiness +of social life. This pleasant village is situated on a gentle +ascent from the water, whence it affords that charming prospect I +have above described. Its soil is a gravel, which, assisted with +its declivity, preserves it always so dry that immediately after +the most violent rain a fine lady may walk without wetting her +silken shoes. The fertility of the place is apparent from its +extraordinary verdure, and it is so shaded with large and +flourishing elms, that its narrow lanes are a natural grove or +walk, which, in the regularity of its plantation, vies with the +power of art, and in its wanton exuberancy greatly exceeds it. + +In a field in the ascent of this hill, about a quarter of a mile +from the sea, stands a neat little chapel. It is very small, but +adequate to the number of inhabitants; for the parish doth not +seem to contain above thirty houses. + +At about two miles distant from this parish lives that polite and +good lady to whose kindness we were so much obliged. It is +placed on a hill whose bottom is washed by the sea, and which +from its eminence at top, commands a view of great part of the +island as well as it does that of the opposite shore. This house +was formerly built by one Boyce, who, from a blacksmith at +Gosport, became possessed, by great success in smuggling, of +forty thousand pound. With part of this he purchased an estate +here, and, by chance probably, fixed on this spot for building a +large house. Perhaps the convenience of carrying on his +business, to which it is so well adapted, might dictate the +situation to him. We can hardly, at least, attribute it to the +same taste with which he furnished his house, or at least his +library, by sending an order to a bookseller in London to pack +him up five hundred pounds' worth of his handsomest books. They +tell here several almost incredible stories of the ignorance, the +folly, and the pride, which this poor man and his wife discovered +during the short continuance of his prosperity; for he did not +long escape the sharp eyes of the revenue solicitors, and was, by +extents from the court of Exchequer, soon reduced below his +original state to that of confinement in the Fleet. All his +effects were sold, and among the rest his books, by an auction at +Portsmouth, for a very small price; for the bookseller was now +discovered to have been perfectly a master of his trade, and, +relying on Mr. Boyce's finding little time to read, had sent him +not only the most lasting wares of his shop, but duplicates of +the same, under different titles. + +His estate and house were purchased by a gentleman of these +parts, whose widow now enjoys them, and who hath improved them, +particularly her gardens, with so elegant a taste, that the +painter who would assist his imagination in the composition of a +most exquisite landscape, or the poet who would describe an earthly +paradise, could nowhere furnish themselves with a richer pattern. + +We left this place about eleven in the morning, and were again +conveyed, with more sunshine than wind, aboard our ship. + +Whence our captain had acquired his power of prophecy, when he +promised us and himself a prosperous wind, I will not determine; +it is sufficient to observe that he was a false prophet, and that +the weathercocks continued to point as before. He would not, +however, so easily give up his skill in prediction. He +persevered in asserting that the wind was changed, and, having +weighed his anchor, fell down that afternoon to St. Helen's, +which was at about the distance of five miles; and whither his +friend the tide, in defiance of the wind, which was most +manifestly against him, softly wafted him in as many hours. + +Here, about seven in the evening, before which time we could not +procure it, we sat down to regale ourselves with some roasted +venison, which was much better dressed than we imagined it would +be, and an excellent cold pasty which my wife had made at Ryde, +and which we had reserved uncut to eat on board our ship, whither +we all cheerfully exulted in being returned from the presence of +Mrs. Francis, who, by the exact resemblance she bore to a fury, +seemed to have been with no great propriety settled in paradise. + +Friday, July 24.--As we passed by Spithead on the preceding +evening we saw the two regiments of soldiers who were just +returned from Gibraltar and Minorca; and this day a lieutenant +belonging to one of them, who was the captain's nephew, came to +pay a visit to his uncle. He was what is called by some a very +pretty fellow; indeed, much too pretty a fellow at his years; for +he was turned of thirty-four, though his address and conversation +would have become him more before he had reached twenty. In his +conversation, it is true, there was something military enough, as +it consisted chiefly of oaths, and of the great actions and wise +sayings of Jack, and Will, and Tom of our regiment, a phrase +eternally in his mouth; and he seemed to conclude that it +conveyed to all the officers such a degree of public notoriety +and importance that it entitled him like the head of a +profession, or a first minister, to be the subject of +conversation among those who had not the least personal +acquaintance with him. This did not much surprise me, as I have +seen several examples of the same; but the defects in his +address, especially to the women, were so great that they seemed +absolutely inconsistent with the behavior of a pretty fellow, +much less of one in a red coat; and yet, besides having been +eleven years in the army, he had had, as his uncle informed me, +an education in France. This, I own, would have appeared to have +been absolutely thrown away had not his animal spirits, which +were likewise thrown away upon him in great abundance, borne the +visible stamp of the growth of that country. The character to +which he had an indisputable title was that of a merry fellow; so +very merry was he that he laughed at everything he said, and +always before he spoke. Possibly, indeed, he often laughed at +what he did not utter, for every speech begun with a laugh, +though it did not always end with a jest. There was no great +analogy between the characters of the uncle and the nephew, and +yet they seemed entirely to agree in enjoying the honor which the +red-coat did to his family. This the uncle expressed with great +pleasure in his countenance, and seemed desirous of showing all +present the honor which he had for his nephew, who, on his side, +was at some pains to convince us of his concurring in this +opinion, and at the same time of displaying the contempt he had +for the parts, as well as the occupation of his uncle, which he +seemed to think reflected some disgrace on himself, who was a +member of that profession which makes every man a gentleman. +Not that I would be understood to insinuate that the nephew +endeavored to shake off or disown his uncle, or indeed to keep +him at any distance. On the contrary, he treated him with the +utmost familiarity, often calling him Dick, and dear Dick, and +old Dick, and frequently beginning an oration with D--n me, Dick. + +All this condescension on the part of the young man was received +with suitable marks of complaisance and obligation by the old +one; especially when it was attended with evidences of the same +familiarity with general officers and other persons of rank; one +of whom, in particular, I know to have the pride and insolence of +the devil himself, and who, without some strong bias of interest, +is no more liable to converse familiarly with a lieutenant than +of being mistaken in his judgment of a fool; which was not, +perhaps, so certainly the case of the worthy lieutenant, who, in +declaring to us the qualifications which recommended men to his +countenance and conversation, as well as what effectually set a +bar to all hopes of that honor, exclaimed, "No, sir, by the d-- I +hate all fools-- No, d--n me, excuse me for that. That's a +little too much, old Dick. There are two or three officers of +our regiment whom I know to be fools; but d--n me if I am ever +seen in their company. If a man hath a fool of a relation, Dick, +you know he can't help that, old boy." Such jokes as these the +old man not only tools in good part, but glibly gulped down the +whole narrative of his nephew; nor did he, I am convinced, in the +least doubt of our as readily swallowing the same. This made him +so charmed with the lieutenant, that it is probable we should +have been pestered with him the whole evening, had not the north +wind, dearer to our sea-captain even than this glory of his +family, sprung suddenly up, and called aloud to him to weigh his +anchor. While this ceremony was performing, the sea-captain +ordered out his boat to row the land-captain to shore; not indeed +on an uninhabited island, but one which, in this part, looked but +little better, not presenting us the view of a single house. +Indeed, our old friend, when his boat returned on shore, perhaps +being no longer able to stifle his envy of the superiority of his +nephew, told us with a smile that the young man had a good five +mile to walk before he could be accommodated with a passage to +Portsmouth. + +It appeared now that the captain had been only mistaken in the +date of his prediction, by placing the event a day earlier than +it happened; for the wind which now arose was not only favorable +but brisk, and was no sooner in reach of our sails than it swept +us away by the back of the Isle of Wight, and, having in the +night carried us by Christchurch and Peveral-point, brought us +the next noon, Saturday, July 25, oft the island of Portland, so +famous for the smallness and sweetness of its mutton, of which a +leg seldom weighs four pounds. We would have bought a sheep, but +our captain would not permit it; though he needed not have been +in such a hurry, for presently the wind, I will not positively +assert in resentment of his surliness, showed him a dog's trick, +and slyly slipped back again to his summer-house in the +south-west. + +The captain now grew outrageous, and, declaring open war with the +wind, took a resolution, rather more bold than wise, of sailing +in defiance of it, and in its teeth. He swore he would let go +his anchor no more, but would beat the sea while he had either +yard or sail left. He accordingly stood from the shore, and made +so large a tack that before night, though he seemed to advance +but little on his way, he was got out of sight of land. + +Towards evening the wind began, in the captain's own language, +and indeed it freshened so much, that before ten it blew a +perfect hurricane. The captain having got, as he supposed, to a +safe distance, tacked again towards the English shore; and now +the wind veered a point only in his favor, and continued to blow +with such violence, that the ship ran above eight knots or miles +an hour during this whole day and tempestuous night till +bed-time. I was obliged to betake myself once more to my +solitude, for my women were again all down in their sea-sickness, +and the captain was busy on deck; for he began to grow uneasy, +chiefly, I believe, because he did not well know where he was, +and would, I am convinced, have been very glad to have been in +Portland-road, eating some sheep's-head broth. + +Having contracted no great degree of good-humor by living a whole +day alone, without a single soul to converse with, I took but ill +physic to purge it off, by a bed-conversation with the captain, +who, amongst many bitter lamentations of his fate, and protesting +he had more patience than a Job, frequently intermixed summons to +the commanding officer on the deck, who now happened to be one +Morrison, a carpenter, the only fellow that had either common +sense or common civility in the ship. Of Morrison he inquired +every quarter of an hour concerning the state of affairs: the +wind, the care of the ship, and other matters of navigation. The +frequency of these summons, as well as the solicitude with which +they were made, sufficiently testified the state of the captain's +mind; he endeavored to conceal it, and would have given no small +alarm to a man who had either not learned what it is to die, or +known what it is to be miserable. And my dear wife and child +must pardon me, if what I did not conceive to be any great evil +to myself I was not much terrified with the thoughts of happening +to them; in truth, I have often thought they are both too good +and too gentle to be trusted to the power of any man I know, to +whom they could possibly be so trusted. + +Can I say then I had no fear? indeed I cannot. Reader, I was +afraid for thee, lest thou shouldst have been deprived of that +pleasure thou art now enjoying; and that I should not live to +draw out on paper that military character which thou didst peruse +in the journal of yesterday. + +From all these fears we were relieved, at six in the morning, by +the arrival of Mr. Morrison, who acquainted us that he was sure +he beheld land very near; for he could not see half a mile, by +reason of the haziness of the weather. This land he said was, he +believed, the Berry-head, which forms one side of Torbay: the +captain declared that it was impossible, and swore, on condition +he was right, he would give him his mother for a maid. A forfeit +which became afterwards strictly due and payable; for the +captain, whipping on his night-gown, ran up without his breeches, +and within half an hour returning into the cabin, wished me joy +of our lying safe at anchor in the bay. + +Sunday, July 26.--Things now began to put on an aspect very +different from what they had lately worn; the news that the ship +had almost lost its mizzen, and that we had procured very fine +clouted cream and fresh bread and butter from the shore, restored +health and spirits to our women, and we all sat down to a very +cheerful breakfast. But, however pleasant our stay promised to +be here, we were all desirous it should be short: I resolved +immediately to despatch my man into the country to purchase a +present of cider, for my friends of that which is called Southam, +as well as to take with me a hogshead of it to Lisbon; for it is, +in my opinion, much more delicious than that which is the growth +of Herefordshire. I purchased three hogsheads for five pounds +ten shillings, all which I should have scarce thought worth +mentioning, had I not believed it might be of equal service to +the honest farmer who sold it me, and who is by the neighboring +gentlemen reputed to deal in the very best; and to the reader, +who, from ignorance of the means of providing better for himself, +swallows at a dearer rate the juice of Middlesex turnip, instead +of that Vinum Pomonae which Mr. Giles Leverance of Cheeshurst, +near Dartmouth in Devon, will, at the price of forty shillings +per hogshead, send in double casks to any part of the world. Had +the wind been very sudden in shifting, I had lost my cider by an +attempt of a boatman to exact, according to custom. He required +five shillings for conveying my man a mile and a half to the +shore, and four more if he stayed to bring him back. This I +thought to be such insufferable impudence that I ordered him to +be immediately chased from the ship, without any answer. Indeed, +there are few inconveniences that I would not rather encounter +than encourage the insolent demands of these wretches, at the +expense of my own indignation, of which I own they are not the +only objects, but rather those who purchase a paltry convenience +by encouraging them. But of this I have already spoken very +largely. I shall conclude, therefore, with the leave which this +fellow took of our ship; saying he should know it again, and +would not put off from the shore to relieve it in any distress +whatever. It will, doubtless, surprise many of my readers to +hear that, when we lay at anchor within a mile or two of a town +several days together, and even in the most temperate weather, we +should frequently want fresh provisions and herbage, and other +emoluments of the shore, as much as if we had been a hundred +leagues from land. And this too while numbers of boats were in +our sight, whose owners get their livelihood by rowing people up +and down, and could be at any time summoned by a signal to our +assistance, and while the captain had a little boat of his own, +with men always ready to row it at his command. + +This, however, hath been partly accounted for already by the +imposing disposition of the people, who asked so much more than +the proper price of their labor. And as to the usefulness of the +captain's boat, it requires to be a little expatiated upon, as it +will tend to lay open some of the grievances which demand the +utmost regard of our legislature, as they affect the most +valuable part of the king's subjects--those by whom the commerce +of the nation is carried into execution. Our captain then, who +was a very good and experienced seaman, having been above thirty +years the master of a vessel, part of which he had served, so he +phrased it, as commander of a privateer, and had discharged +himself with great courage and conduct, and with as great +success, discovered the utmost aversion to the sending his boat +ashore whenever we lay wind-bound in any of our harbors. This +aversion did not arise from any fear of wearing out his boat by +using it, but was, in truth, the result of experience, that it +was easier to send his men on shore than to recall them. They +acknowledged him to be their master while they remained on +shipboard, but did not allow his power to extend to the shores, +where they had no sooner set their foot than every man became sui +juris, and thought himself at full liberty to return when he +pleased. Now it is not any delight that these fellows have in +the fresh air or verdant fields on the land. Every one of them +would prefer his ship and his hammock to all the sweets of Arabia +the Happy; but, unluckily for them, there are in every seaport in +England certain houses whose chief livelihood depends on +providing entertainment for the gentlemen of the jacket. For +this purpose they are always well furnished with those cordial +liquors which do immediately inspire the heart with gladness, +banishing all careful thoughts, and indeed all others, from the +mind, and opening the mouth with songs of cheerfulness and +thanksgiving for the many wonderful blessings with which a +seafaring life overflows. + +For my own part, however whimsical it may appear, I confess I +have thought the strange story of Circe in the Odyssey no other +than an ingenious allegory, in which Homer intended to convey to +his countrymen the same kind of instruction which we intend to +communicate to our own in this digression. As teaching the art +of war to the Greeks was the plain design of the Iliad, so was +teaching them the art of navigation the no less manifest +intention of the Odyssey. For the improvement of this, their +situation was most excellently adapted; and accordingly we find +Thucydides, in the beginning of his history, considers the Greeks +as a set of pirates or privateers, plundering each other by sea. +This being probably the first institution of commerce before the +Ars Cauponaria was invented, and merchants, instead of robbing, +began to cheat and outwit each other, and by degrees changed the +Metabletic, the only kind of traffic allowed by Aristotle in his +Politics, into the Chrematistic. + +By this allegory then I suppose Ulysses to have been the captain +of a merchant-ship, and Circe some good ale-wife, who made his +crew drunk with the spirituous liquors of those days. With this +the transformation into swine, as well as all other incidents of +the fable, will notably agree; and thus a key will be found out +for unlocking the whole mystery, and forging at least some meaning +to a story which, at present, appears very strange and absurd. + +Hence, moreover, will appear the very near resemblance between +the sea-faring men of all ages and nations; and here perhaps may +be established the truth and justice of that observation, which +will occur oftener than once in this voyage, that all human flesh +is not the same flesh, but that there is one kind of flesh of +landmen, and another of seamen. + +Philosophers, divines, and others, who have treated the +gratification of human appetites with contempt, have, among other +instances, insisted very strongly on that satiety which is so apt +to overtake them even in the very act of enjoyment. And here +they more particularly deserve our attention, as most of them may +be supposed to speak from their own experience, and very probably +gave us their lessons with a full stomach. Thus hunger and +thirst, whatever delight they may afford while we are eating and +drinking, pass both away from us with the plate and the cup; and +though we should imitate the Romans, if, indeed, they were such +dull beasts, which I can scarce believe, to unload the belly like +a dung-pot, in order to fill it again with another load, yet +would the pleasure be so considerably lessened that it would +scarce repay us the trouble of purchasing it with swallowing a +basin of camomile tea. A second haunch of venison, or a second +dose of turtle, would hardly allure a city glutton with its +smell. Even the celebrated Jew himself, when well filled with +calipash and calipee, goes contentedly home to tell his money, +and expects no more pleasure from his throat during the next +twenty-four hours. Hence I suppose Dr. South took that elegant +comparison of the joys of a speculative man to the solemn silence +of an Archimedes over a problem, and those of a glutton to the +stillness of a sow at her wash. A simile which, if it became the +pulpit at all, could only become it in the afternoon. Whereas in +those potations which the mind seems to enjoy, rather than the +bodily appetite, there is happily no such satiety; but the more a +man drinks, the more he desires; as if, like Mark Anthony in +Dryden, his appetite increased with feeding, and this to such an +immoderate degree, ut nullus sit desiderio aut pudor aut modus. +Hence, as with the gang of Captain Ulysses, ensues so total a +transformation, that the man no more continues what he was. +Perhaps he ceases for a time to be at all; or, though he may +retain the same outward form and figure he had before, yet is his +nobler part, as we are taught to call it, so changed, that, +instead of being the same man, he scarce remembers what he was a +few hours before. And this transformation, being once obtained, +is so easily preserved by the same potations, which induced no +satiety, that the captain in vain sends or goes in quest of his +crew. They know him no longer; or, if they do, they acknowledge +not his power, having indeed as entirely forgotten themselves as +if they had taken a large draught of the river of Lethe. + +Nor is the captain always sure of even finding out the place to +which Circe hath conveyed them. There are many of those houses +in every port-town. Nay, there are some where the sorceress +doth not trust only to her drugs; but hath instruments of a +different kind to execute her purposes, by whose means the tar is +effectually secreted from the knowledge and pursuit of his +captain. This would, indeed, be very fatal, was it not for one +circumstance; that the sailor is seldom provided with the proper +bait for these harpies. However, the contrary sometimes happens, +as these harpies will bite at almost anything, and will snap at a +pair of silver buttons, or buckles, as surely as at the specie +itself. Nay, sometimes they are so voracious, that the very +naked hook will go down, and the jolly young sailor is sacrificed +for his own sake. + +In vain, at such a season as this, would the vows of a pious +heathen have prevailed over Neptune, Aeolus, or any other marine +deity. In vain would the prayers of a Christian captain be +attended with the like success. The wind may change how it +pleases while all hands are on shore; the anchor would remain +firm in the ground, and the ship would continue in durance, +unless, like other forcible prison-breakers, it forcibly got +loose for no good purpose. Now, as the favor of winds and +courts, and such like, is always to be laid hold on at the very +first motion, for within twenty-four hours all may be changed +again; so, in the former case, the loss of a day may be the loss +of a voyage: for, though it may appear to persons not well +skilled in navigation, who see ships meet and sail by each other, +that the wind blows sometimes east and west, north and south, +backwards and forwards, at the same instant; yet, certain it is +that the land is so contrived, that even the same wind will not, +like the same horse, always bring a man to the end of his +journey; but, that the gale which the mariner prayed heartily for +yesterday, he may as heartily deprecate to-morrow; while all use +and benefit which would have arisen to him from the westerly wind +of to-morrow may be totally lost and thrown away by neglecting +the offer of the easterly blast which blows to-day. + +Hence ensues grief and disreputation to the innocent captain, +loss and disappointment to the worthy merchant, and not seldom +great prejudice to the trade of a nation whose manufactures are +thus liable to lie unsold in a foreign warehouse the market being +forestalled by some rival whose sailors are under a better +discipline. To guard against these inconveniences the prudent +captain takes every precaution in his power; he makes the +strongest contracts with his crew, and thereby binds them so +firmly, that none but the greatest or least of men can break +through them with impunity; but for one of these two reasons, +which I will not determine, the sailor, like his brother fish the +eel, is too slippery to be held, and plunges into his element +with perfect impunity. To speak a plain truth, there is no +trusting to any contract with one whom the wise citizens of +London call a bad man; for, with such a one, though your bond be +ever so strong, it will prove in the end good for nothing. + +What then is to be done in this case? What, indeed, but to call +in the assistance of that tremendous magistrate, the justice of +peace, who can, and often doth, lay good and bad men in equal +durance; and, though he seldom cares to stretch his bonds to what +is great, never finds anything too minute for their detention, +but will hold the smallest reptile alive so fast in his noose, +that he can never get out till he is let drop through it. Why, +therefore, upon the breach of those contracts, should not an +immediate application be made to the nearest magistrate of this +order, who should be empowered to convey the delinquent either to +ship or to prison, at the election of the captain, to be fettered +by the leg in either place? But, as the case now stands, the +condition of this poor captain without any commission, and of +this absolute commander without any power, is much worse than we +have hitherto shown it to be; for, notwithstanding all the +aforesaid contracts to sail in the good ship the Elizabeth, if +the sailor should, for better wages, find it more his interest to +go on board the better ship the Mary, either before their setting +out or on their speedy meeting in some port, he may prefer the +latter without any other danger than that of "doing what he ought +not to have done," contrary to a rule which he is seldom +Christian enough to have much at heart, while the captain is +generally too good a Christian to punish a man out of revenge +only, when he is to be at a considerable expense for so doing. +There are many other deficiencies in our laws relating to +maritime affairs, and which would probably have been long since +corrected, had we any seamen in the House of Commons. Not that I +would insinuate that the legislature wants a supply of many +gentlemen in the sea-service; but, as these gentlemen are by +their attendance in the house unfortunately prevented from ever +going to sea, and there learning what they might communicate to +their landed brethren, these latter remain as ignorant in that +branch of knowledge as they would be if none but courtiers and +fox-hunters had been elected into parliament, without a single +fish among them. The following seems to me to be an effect of +this kind, and it strikes me the stronger as I remember the case +to have happened, and remember it to have been dispunishable. A +captain of a trading vessel, of which he was part owner, took in +a large freight of oats at Liverpool, consigned to the market at +Bearkey: this he carried to a port in Hampshire, and there sold +it as his own, and, freighting his vessel with wheat for the port +of Cadiz, in Spain, dropped it at Oporto in his way; and there, +selling it for his own use, took in a lading of wine, with which +he sailed again, and, having converted it in the same manner, +together with a large sum of money with which he was intrusted, +for the benefit of certain merchants, sold the ship and cargo in +another port, and then wisely sat down contented with the fortune +he had made, and returned to London to enjoy the remainder of his +days, with the fruits of his former labors and a good conscience. + +The sum he brought home with him consisted of near six thousand +pounds, all in specie, and most of it in that coin which Portugal +distributes so liberally over Europe. + +He was not yet old enough to be past all sense of pleasure, nor +so puffed up with the pride of his good fortune as to overlook +his old acquaintances the journeymen tailors, from among whom he +had been formerly pressed into the sea-service, and, having there +laid the foundation of his future success by his shares in +prizes, had afterwards become captain of a trading vessel, in +which he purchased an interest, and had soon begun to trade in +the honorable manner above mentioned. The captain now took up +his residence at an ale-house in Drury-lane, where, having all +his money by him in a trunk, he spent about five pounds a day +among his old friends the gentlemen and ladies of those parts. +The merchant of Liverpool, having luckily had notice from a +friend during the blaze of his fortune, did, by the assistance of +a justice of peace, without the assistance of the law, recover +his whole loss. The captain, however, wisely chose to refund no +more; but, perceiving with what hasty strides Envy was pursuing +his fortune, he took speedy means to retire out of her reach, and +to enjoy the rest of his wealth in an inglorious obscurity; nor +could the same justice overtake him time enough to assist a +second merchant as he had done the first. + +This was a very extraordinary case, and the more so as the +ingenious gentleman had steered entirely clear of all crimes in +our law. Now, how it comes about that a robbery so very easy to +be committed, and to which there is such immediate temptation +always before the eyes of these fellows, should receive the +encouragement of impunity, is to be accounted for only from the +oversight of the legislature, as that oversight can only be, I +think, derived from the reasons I have assigned for it. + +But I will dwell no longer on this subject. If what I have here +said should seem of sufficient consequence to engage the +attention of any man in power, and should thus be the means of +applying any remedy to the most inveterate evils, at least, I +have obtained my whole desire, and shall have lain so long +wind-bound in the ports of this kingdom to some purpose. I +would, indeed, have this work--which, if I should live to finish +it, a matter of no great certainty, if indeed of any great hope +to me, will be probably the last I shall ever undertake--to +produce some better end than the mere diversion of the reader. + +Monday.--This day our captain went ashore, to dine with a +gentleman who lives in these parts, and who so exactly resembles +the character given by Homer of Axylus, that the only difference +I can trace between them is, the one, living by the highway, +erected his hospitality chiefly in favor of land-travelers; and +the other, living by the water-side, gratified his humanity by +accommodating the wants of the mariner. + +In the evening our commander received a visit from a brother +bashaw, who lay wind-bound in the same harbor. This latter +captain was a Swiss. He was then master of a vessel bound to +Guinea, and had formerly been a privateering, when our own hero +was employed in the same laudable service. The honesty and +freedom of the Switzer, his vivacity, in which he was in no +respect inferior to his near neighbors the French, the awkward +and affected politeness, which was likewise of French extraction, +mixed with the brutal roughness of the English tar--for he had +served under the colors of this nation and his crew had been of +the same--made such an odd variety, such a hotch-potch of +character, that I should have been much diverted with him, had +not his voice, which was as loud as a speaking-trumpet, +unfortunately made my head ache. The noise which he conveyed +into the deaf ears of his brother captain, who sat on one side of +him, the soft addresses with which, mixed with awkward bows, he +saluted the ladies on the other, were so agreeably contrasted, +that a man must not only have been void of all taste of humor, +and insensible of mirth, but duller than Cibber is represented in +the Dunciad, who could be unentertained with him a little while; +for, I confess, such entertainments should always be very short, +as they are very liable to pall. But he suffered not this to +happen at present; for, having given us his company a quarter of +an hour only, he retired, after many apologies for the shortness +of his visit. + +Tuesday.--The wind being less boisterous than it had hitherto +been since our arrival here, several fishing-boats, which the +tempestuous weather yesterday had prevented from working, came on +board us with fish. This was so fresh, so good in kind, and so +very cheap, that we supplied ourselves in great numbers, among +which were very large soles at fourpence a pair, and whitings of +almost a preposterous size at ninepence a score. The only fish +which bore any price was a john doree, as it is called. I bought +one of at least four pounds weight for as many shillings. It +resembles a turbot in shape, but exceeds it in firmness and +flavor. The price had the appearance of being considerable when +opposed to the extraordinary cheapness of others of value, but +was, in truth, so very reasonable when estimated by its goodness, +that it left me under no other surprise than how the gentlemen of +this country, not greatly eminent for the delicacy of their +taste, had discovered the preference of the doree to all other +fish: but I was informed that Mr. Quin, whose distinguishing +tooth hath been so justly celebrated, had lately visited +Plymouth, and had done those honors to the doree which are so +justly due to it from that sect of modern philosophers who, with +Sir Epicure Mammon, or Sir Epicure Quin, their head, seem more to +delight in a fish-pond than in a garden, as the old Epicureans +are said to have done. + +Unfortunately for the fishmongers of London, the doree resides +only in those seas; for, could any of this company but convey one +to the temple of luxury under the Piazza, where Macklin the +high-priest daily serves up his rich offerings to that goddess, +great would be the reward of that fishmonger, in blessings poured +down upon him from the goddess, as great would his merit be +towards the high-priest, who could never be thought to overrate +such valuable incense. + +And here, having mentioned the extreme cheapness of fish in the +Devonshire sea, and given some little hint of the extreme +dearness with which this commodity is dispensed by those who deal +in it in London, I cannot pass on without throwing forth an +observation or two, with the same view with which I have +scattered my several remarks through this voyage, sufficiently +satisfied in having finished my life, as I have probably lost it, +in the service of my country, from the best of motives, though it +should be attended with the worst of success. Means are always +in our power; ends are very seldom so. + +Of all the animal foods with which man is furnished, there are +none so plenty as fish. A little rivulet, that glides almost +unperceived through a vast tract of rich land, will support more +hundreds with the flesh of its inhabitants than the meadow will +nourish individuals. But if this be true of rivers, it is much +truer of the sea-shores, which abound with such immense variety +of fish that the curious fisherman, after he hath made his +draught, often culls only the daintiest part and leaves the rest +of his prey to perish on the shore. If this be true it would +appear, I think, that there is nothing which might be had in such +abundance, and consequently so cheap, as fish, of which Nature +seems to have provided such inexhaustible stores with some +peculiar design. In the production of terrestrial animals she +proceeds with such slowness, that in the larger kind a single +female seldom produces more than one a-year, and this again +requires three, for, or five years more to bring it to +perfection. And though the lesser quadrupeds, those of the wild +kind particularly, with the birds, do multiply much faster, yet +can none of these bear any proportion with the aquatic animals, +of whom every female matrix is furnished with an annual offspring +almost exceeding the power of numbers, and which, in many +instances at least, a single year is capable of bringing to some +degree of maturity. + +What then ought in general to be so plentiful, what so cheap, as +fish? What then so properly the food of the poor? So in many +places they are, and so might they always be in great cities, +which are always situated near the sea, or on the conflux of +large rivers. How comes it then, to look no farther abroad for +instances, that in our city of London the case is so far +otherwise that, except that of sprats, there is not one poor +palate in a hundred that knows the taste of fish? + +It is true indeed that this taste is generally of such excellent +flavor that it exceeds the power of French cookery to treat the +palates of the rich with anything more exquisitely delicate; so +that was fish the common food of the poor it might put them too +much upon an equality with their betters in the great article of +eating, in which, at present, in the opinion of some, the great +difference in happiness between man and man consists. But this +argument I shall treat with the utmost disdain: for if ortolans +were as big as buzzards, and at the same time as plenty as +sparrows, I should hold it yet reasonable to indulge the poor +with the dainty, and that for this cause especially, that the +rich would soon find a sparrow, if as scarce as an ortolan, to be +much the greater, as it would certainly be the rarer, dainty of +the two. + +Vanity or scarcity will be always the favorite of luxury; but +honest hunger will be satisfied with plenty. Not to search +deeper into the cause of the evil, I should think it abundantly +sufficient to propose the remedies of it. And, first, I humbly +submit the absolute necessity of immediately hanging all the +fishmongers within the bills of mortality; and, however it might +have been some time ago the opinion of mild and temporizing men +that the evil complained of might be removed by gentler methods, +I suppose at this day there are none who do not see the +impossibility of using such with any effect. Cuncta prius +tentanda might have been formerly urged with some plausibility, +but cuncta prius tentata may now be replied: for surely, if a +few monopolizing fishmongers could defeat that excellent scheme +of the Westminster market, to the erecting which so many justices +of peace, as well as other wise and learned men, did so +vehemently apply themselves, that they might be truly said not +only to have laid the whole strength of their heads, but of their +shoulders too, to the business, it would be a vain endeavor for +any other body of men to attempt to remove so stubborn a +nuisance. + +If it should be doubted whether we can bring this case within the +letter of any capital law now subsisting, I am ashamed to own it +cannot; for surely no crime better deserves such punishment; but +the remedy may, nevertheless, be immediate; and if a law was made +at the beginning of next session, to take place immediately, by +which the starving thousands of poor was declared to be felony, +without benefit of clergy, the fishmongers would be hanged before +the end of the session. A second method of filling the mouths of +the poor, if not with loaves at least with fishes, is to desire +the magistrates to carry into execution one at least out of near +a hundred acts of parliament, for preserving the small fry of the +river of Thames, by which means as few fish would satisfy +thousands as may now be devoured by a small number of +individnals. But while a fisherman can break through the +strongest meshes of an act of parliament, we may be assured he +will learn so to contrive his own meshes that the smallest fry +will not be able to swim through them. + +Other methods may, we doubt not, he suggested by those who shall +attentively consider the evil here hinted at; but we have dwelt +too long on it already, and shall conclude with observing that it +is difficult to affirm whether the atrocity of the evil itself, +the facility of curing it, or the shameful neglect of the cure, +be the more scandalous or more astonishing. + +After having, however, gloriously regaled myself with this food, +I was washing it down with some good claret with my wife and her +friend, in the cabin, when the captain's valet-de-chambre, head +cook, house and ship steward, footman in livery and out on't, +secretary and fore-mast man, all burst into the cabin at once, +being, indeed, all but one person, and, without saying, by your +leave, began to pack half a hogshead of small beer in bottles, +the necessary consequence of which must have been either a total +stop to conversation at that cheerful season when it is most +agreeable, or the admitting that polyonymous officer aforesaid to +the participation of it. I desired him therefore to delay his +purpose a little longer, but he refused to grant my request; nor +was he prevailed on to quit the room till he was threatened with +having one bottle to pack more than his number, which then +happened to stand empty within my reach. With these menaces he +retired at last, but not without muttering some menaces on his +side, and which, to our great terror, he failed not to put into +immediate execution. + +Our captain was gone to dinner this day with his Swiss brother; +and, though he was a very sober man, was a little elevated with +some champagne, which, as it cost the Swiss little or nothing, he +dispensed at his table more liberally than our hospitable English +noblemen put about those bottles, which the ingenious Peter +Taylor teaches a led captain to avoid by distinguishing by the +name of that generous liquor, which all humble companions are +taught to postpone to the flavor of methuen, or honest port. + +While our two captains were thus regaling themselves, and +celebrating their own heroic exploits with all the inspiration +which the liquor, at least, of wit could afford them, the +polyonymous officer arrived, and, being saluted by the name of +Honest Tom, was ordered to sit down and take his glass before he +delivered his message; for every sailor is by turns his captain's +mate over a cann, except only that captain bashaw who presides in +a man-of-war, and who upon earth has no other mate, unless it be +another of the same bashaws. Tom had no sooner swallowed his +draught than he hastily began his narrative, and faithfully +related what had happened on board our ship; we say faithfully, +though from what happened it may be suspected that Tom chose to +add perhaps only five or six immaterial circumstances, as is +always I believe the case, and may possibly have been done by me +in relating this very story, though it happened not many hours ago. + +No sooner was the captain informed of the interruption which had +been given to his officer, and indeed to his orders, for he +thought no time so convenient as that of his absence for causing +any confusion in the cabin, than he leaped with such haste from +his chair that he had like to have broke his sword, with which he +always begirt himself when he walked out of his ship, and +sometimes when he walked about in it; at the same time, grasping +eagerly that other implement called a cockade, which modern +soldiers wear on their helmets with the same view as the ancients +did their crests--to terrify the enemy he muttered something, but +so inarticulately that the word DAMN was only intelligible; he +then hastily took leave of the Swiss captain, who was too well +bred to press his stay on such an occasion, and leaped first from +the ship to his boat, and then from his boat to his own ship, +with as much fierceness in his looks as he had ever expressed on +boarding his defenseless prey in the honorable calling of a +privateer. Having regained the middle deck, he paused a moment +while Tom and others loaded themselves with bottles, and then +descending into the cabin exclaimed with a thundering voice, +"D--n me, why arn't the bottles stowed in, according to my orders?" + +I answered him very mildly that I had prevented his man from +doing it, as it was at an inconvenient time to me, and as in his +absence, at least, I esteemed the cabin to be my own. "Your +cabin!" repeated he many times; "no, d--n me! 'tis my cabin. +Your cabin! d--n me! I have brought my hogs to a fair market. I +suppose indeed you think it your cabin, and your ship, by your +commanding in it; but I will command in it, d--n me! I will show +the world I am the commander, and nobody but I! Did you think I +sold you the command of my ship for that pitiful thirty pounds? I +wish I had not seen you nor your thirty pounds aboard of her." +He then repeated the words thirty pounds often, with great +disdain, and with a contempt which I own the sum did not seem to +deserve in my eye, either in itself or on the present occasion; +being, indeed, paid for the freight of ---- weight of human +flesh, which is above fifty per cent dearer than the freight of +any other luggage, whilst in reality it takes up less room; in +fact, no room at all. + +In truth, the sum was paid for nothing more than for a liberty to +six persons (two of them servants) to stay on board a ship while +she sails from one port to another, every shilling of which comes +clear into the captain's pocket. Ignorant people may perhaps +imagine, especially when they are told that the captain is +obliged to sustain them, that their diet at least is worth +something, which may probably be now and then so far the case as +to deduct a tenth part from the net profits on this account; but +it was otherwise at present; for when I had contracted with the +captain at a price which I by no means thought moderate, I had +some content in thinking I should have no more to pay for my +voyage; but I was whispered that it was expected the passengers +should find themselves in several things; such as tea, wine, and +such like; and particularly that gentlemen should stow of the +latter a much larger quantity than they could use, in order to +leave the remainder as a present to the captain at the end of the +voyage; and it was expected likewise that gentlemen should put +aboard some fresh stores, and the more of such things were put +aboard the welcomer they would be to the captain. + +I was prevailed with by these hints to follow the advice +proposed; and accordingly, besides tea and a large hamper of +wine, with several hams and tongues, I caused a number of live +chickens and sheep to be conveyed aboard; in truth, treble the +quantity of provisions which would have supported the persons I +took with me, had the voyage continued three weeks, as it was +supposed, with a bare possibility, it might. + +Indeed it continued much longer; but as this was occasioned by +our being wind-bound in our own ports, it was by no means of any +ill consequence to the captain, as the additional stores of fish, +fresh meat, butter, bread, &c., which I constantly laid in, +greatly exceeded the consumption, and went some way in +maintaining the ship's crew. It is true I was not obliged to do +this; but it seemed to be expected; for the captain did not think +himself obliged to do it, and I can truly say I soon ceased to +expect it of him. He had, I confess, on board a number of fowls +and ducks sufficient for a West India voyage; all of them, as he +often said, "Very fine birds, and of the largest breed." This I +believe was really the fact, and I can add that they were all +arrived at the full perfection of their size. Nor was there, I +am convinced, any want of provisions of a more substantial kind; +such as dried beef, pork, and fish; so that the captain seemed +ready to perform his contract, and amply to provide for his +passengers. What I did then was not from necessity, but, +perhaps, from a less excusable motive, and was by no means +chargeable to the account of the captain. + +But, let the motive have been what it would, the consequence was +still the same; and this was such that I am firmly persuaded the +whole pitiful thirty pounds came pure and neat into the captain's +pocket, and not only so, but attended with the value of ten pound +more in sundries into the bargain. I must confess myself +therefore at a loss how the epithet PITIFUL came to be annexed to +the above sum; for, not being a pitiful price for what it was +given, I cannot conceive it to be pitiful in itself; nor do I +believe it is thought by the greatest men in the kingdom; none of +whom would scruple to search for it in the dirtiest kennel, where +they had only a reasonable hope of success. How, therefore, such +a sum should acquire the idea of pitiful in the eyes of the +master of a ship seems not easy to be accounted for; since it +appears more likely to produce in him ideas of a different kind. +Some men, perhaps, are no more sincere in the contempt for it +which they express than others in their contempt of money in +general; and I am the rather inclined to this persuasion, as I +have seldom heard of either who have refused or refunded this +their despised object. Besides, it is sometimes impossible to +believe these professions, as every action of the man's life is a +contradiction to it. Who can believe a tradesman who says he +would not tell his name for the profit he gets by the selling +such a parcel of goods, when he hath told a thousand lies in +order to get it? Pitiful, indeed, is often applied to an object +not absolutely, but comparatively with our expectations, or with +a greater object: in which sense it is not easy to set any +bounds to the use of the word. Thus, a handful of halfpence +daily appear pitiful to a porter, and a handful of silver to a +drawer. The latter, I am convinced, at a polite tavern, will +not tell his name (for he will not give you any answer) under the +price of gold. And in this sense thirty pound may be accounted +pitiful by the lowest mechanic. + +One difficulty only seems to occur, and that is this: how comes +it that, if the profits of the meanest arts are so considerable, +the professors of them are not richer than we generally see them? +One answer to this shall suffice. Men do not become rich by what +they get, but by what they keep. He who is worth no more than +his annual wages or salary, spends the whole; he will be always a +beggar let his income be what it will, and so will be his family +when he dies. This we see daily to be the case of ecclesiastics, +who, during their lives, are extremely well provided for, only +because they desire to maintain the honor of the cloth by living +like gentlemen, which would, perhaps, be better maintained by +living unlike them. + +But, to return from so long a digression, to which the use of so +improper an epithet gave occasion, and to which the novelty of +the subject allured, I will make the reader amends by concisely +telling him that the captain poured forth such a torrent of abuse +that I very hastily and very foolishly resolved to quit the ship. + +I gave immediate orders to summon a hoy to carry me that evening +to Dartmouth, without considering any consequence. Those orders +I gave in no very low voice, so that those above stairs might +possibly conceive there was more than one master in the cabin. +In the same tone I likewise threatened the captain with that +which, he afterwards said, he feared more than any rock or +quicksand. Nor can we wonder at this when we are told he had +been twice obliged to bring to and cast anchor there before, and +had neither time escaped without the loss of almost his whole cargo. + +The most distant sound of law thus frightened a man who had +often, I am convinced, heard numbers of cannon roar round him +with intrepidity. Nor did he sooner see the hoy approaching the +vessel than he ran down again into the cabin, and, his rage being +perfectly subsided, he tumbled on his knees, and a little too +abjectly implored for mercy. + +I did not suffer a brave man and an old man to remain a moment in +this posture, but I immediately forgave him. + +And here, that I may not be thought the sly trumpeter of my own +praises, I do utterly disclaim all praise on the occasion. +Neither did the greatness of my mind dictate, nor the force of my +Christianity exact, this forgiveness. To speak truth, I forgave +him from a motive which would make men much more forgiving if +they were much wiser than they are, because it was convenient for +me so to do. + +Wednesday.--This morning the captain dressed himself in scarlet +in order to pay a visit to a Devonshire squire, to whom a captain +of a ship is a guest of no ordinary consequence, as he is a +stranger and a gentleman, who hath seen a great deal of the world +in foreign parts, and knows all the news of the times. + +The squire, therefore, was to send his boat for the captain, but +a most unfortunate accident happened; for, as the wind was +extremely rough and against the hoy, while this was endeavoring +to avail itself of great seamanship in hauling up against the +wind, a sudden squall carried off sail and yard, or at least so +disabled them that they were no longer of any use and unable to +reach the ship; but the captain, from the deck, saw his hopes of +venison disappointed, and was forced either to stay on board his +ship, or to hoist forth his own long-boat, which he could not +prevail with himself to think of, though the smell of the venison +had had twenty times its attraction. He did, indeed, love his +ship as his wife, and his boats as children, and never willingly +trusted the latter, poor things! to the dangers of the sea. + +To say truth, notwithstanding the strict rigor with which he +preserved the dignity of his stations and the hasty impatience +with which he resented any affront to his person or orders, +disobedience to which he could in no instance brook in any person +on board. he was one of the best natured fellows alive. He +acted the part of a father to his sailors; he expressed great +tenderness for any of them when ill, and never suffered any the +least work of supererogation to go unrewarded by a glass of gin. +He even extended his humanity, if I may so call it, to animals, +and even his cats and kittens had large shares in his affections. + +An instance of which we saw this evening, when the cat, which had +shown it could not be drowned, was found suffocated under a +feather-bed in the cabin. I will not endeavor to describe his +lamentations with more prolixity than barely by saying they were +grievous, and seemed to have some mixture of the Irish howl in +them. Nay, he carried his fondness even to inanimate objects, of +which we have above set down a pregnant example in his +demonstration of love and tenderness towards his boats and ship. +He spoke of a ship which he had commanded formerly, and which was +long since no more, which he had called the Princess of Brazil, +as a widower of a deceased wife. This ship, after having +followed the honest business of carrying goods and passengers for +hire many years, did at last take to evil courses and turn +privateer, in which service, to use his own words, she received +many dreadful wounds, which he himself had felt as if they had +been his own. + +Thursday.--As the wind did not yesterday discover any purpose of +shifting, and the water in my belly grew troublesome and rendered +me short-breathed, I began a second time to have apprehensions of +wanting the assistance of a trochar when none was to be found; I +therefore concluded to be tapped again by way of precaution, and +accordingly I this morning summoned on board a surgeon from a +neighboring parish, one whom the captain greatly recommended, and +who did indeed perform his office with much dexterity. He was, I +believe, likewise a man of great judgment and knowledge in the +profession; but of this I cannot speak with perfect certainty, +for, when he was going to open on the dropsy at large and on the +particular degree of the distemper under which I labored, I was +obliged to stop him short, for the wind was changed, and the +captain in the utmost hurry to depart; and to desire him, instead +of his opinion, to assist me with his execution. I was now once +more delivered from my burden, which was not indeed so great as I +had apprehended, wanting two quarts of what was let out at the +last operation. + +While the surgeon was drawing away my water the sailors were +drawing up the anchor; both were finished at the same time; we +unfurled our sails and soon passed the Berry-head, which forms +the mouth of the bay. + +We had not however sailed far when the wind, which, had though +with a slow pace, kept us company about six miles, suddenly +turned about, and offered to conduct us back again; a favor which, +though sorely against the grain, we were obliged to accept. + +Nothing remarkable happened this day; for as to the firm +persuasion of the captain that he was under the spell of +witchcraft, I would not repeat it too often, though indeed he +repeated it an hundred times every day; in truth, he talked of +nothing else, and seemed not only to be satisfied in general of +his being bewitched, but actually to have fixed with good +certainty on the person of the witch, whom, had he lived in the +days of Sir Matthew Hale, he would have infallibly indicted, and +very possibly have hanged, for the detestable sin of witchcraft; +but that law, and the whole doctrine that supported it, are now +out of fashion; and witches, as a learned divine once chose to +express himself, are put down by act of parliament. This witch, +in the captain's opinion, was no other than Mrs. Francis of Ryde, +who, as he insinuated, out of anger to me for not spending more +money in her house than she could produce anything to exchange +for, or ally pretense to charge for, had laid this spell on his ship. + +Though we were again got near our harbor by three in the +afternoon, yet it seemed to require a full hour or more before we +could come to our former place of anchoring, or berth, as the +captain called it. On this occasion we exemplified one of the +few advantages which the travelers by water have over the +travelers by land. What would the latter often give for the +sight of one of those hospitable mansions where he is assured +THAT THERE IS GOOD ENTERTAINMENT FOR MAN AND HORSE; and where +both may consequently promise themselves to assuage that hunger +which exercise is so sure to raise in a healthy constitution. + +At their arrival at this mansion how much happier is the state of +the horse than that of the master! The former is immediately led +to his repast, such as it is, and, whatever it is, he falls to it +with appetite. But the latter is in a much worse situation. His +hunger, however violent, is always in some degree delicate, and +his food must have some kind of ornament, or, as the more usual +phrase is, of dressing, to recommend it. Now all dressing +requires time, and therefore, though perhaps the sheep might be +just killed before you came to the inn, yet in cutting him up, +fetching the joint, which the landlord by mistake said he had in +the house, from the butcher at two miles' distance, and +afterwards warming it a little by the fire, two hours at least +must be consumed, while hunger, for want of better food, preys +all the time on the vitals of the man. + +How different was the case with us! we carried our provision, +our kitchen, and our cook with us, and we were at one and the +same time traveling on our road, and sitting down to a repast of +fish, with which the greatest table in London can scarce at any +rate be supplied. + +Friday.--As we were disappointed of our wind, and obliged to +return back the preceding evening, we resolved to extract all the +good we could out of our misfortune, and to add considerably to +our fresh stores of meat and bread, with which we were very +indifferently provided when we hurried away yesterday. By the +captain's advice we likewise laid in some stores of butter, which +we salted and potted ourselves, for our use at Lisbon, and we had +great reason afterwards to thank him for his advice. + +In the afternoon I persuaded my wife whom it was no easy matter +for me to force from my side, to take a walk on shore, whither +the gallant captain declared he was ready to attend her. +Accordingly the ladies set out, and left me to enjoy a sweet and +comfortable nap after the operation of the preceding day. + +Thus we enjoyed our separate pleasures full three hours, when we +met again, and my wife gave the foregoing account of the +gentleman whom I have before compared to Axylus, and of his +habitation, to both which she had been introduced by the captain, +in the style of an old friend and acquaintance, though this +foundation of intimacy seemed to her to be no deeper laid than in +an accidental dinner, eaten many years before, at this temple of +hospitality, when the captain lay wind-bound in the same bay. + +Saturday.--Early this morning the wind seemed inclined to change +in our favor. Our alert captain snatched its very first motion, +and got under sail with so very gentle a breeze that, as the tide +was against him, he recommended to a fishing boy to bring after +him a vast salmon and some other provisions which lay ready for +him on shore. + +Our anchor was up at six, and before nine in the morning we had +doubled the Berry-head, and were arrived off Dartmouth, having +gone full three miles in as many hours, in direct opposition to +the tide, which only befriended us out of our harbor; and though +the wind was perhaps our friend, it was so very silent, and +exerted itself so little in our favor, that, like some cool +partisans, it was difficult to say whether it was with us or +against us. The captain, however, declared the former to be the +case during the whole three hours; but at last he perceived his +error, or rather, perhaps, this friend, which had hitherto +wavered in choosing his side, became now more determined. The +captain then suddenly tacked about, and, asserting that he was +bewitched, submitted to return to the place from whence he came. +Now, though I am as free from superstition as any man breathing, +and never did believe in witches, notwithstanding all the +excellent arguments of my lord chief-justice Hale in their favor, +and long before they were put down by act of parliament, yet by +what power a ship of burden should sail three miles against both +wind and tide, I cannot conceive, unless there was some +supernatural interposition in the case; nay, could we admit that +the wind stood neuter, the difficulty would still remain. So +that we must of necessity conclude that the ship was either +bewinded or bewitched. The captain, perhaps, had another +meaning. He imagined himself, I believe, bewitched, because the +wind, instead of persevering in its change in his favor, for +change it certainly did that morning, should suddenly return to +its favorite station, and blow him back towards the bay. But, if +this was his opinion, he soon saw cause to alter; for he had not +measured half the way back when the wind again declared in his +favor, and so loudly, that there was no possibility of being +mistaken. The orders for the second tack were given, and obeyed +with much more alacrity than those had been for the first. We +were all of us indeed in high spirits on the occasion; though +some of us a little regretted the good things we were likely to +leave behind us by the fisherman's neglect; I might give it a +worse name, for he faithfully promised to execute the commission, +which he had had abundant opportunity to do; but nautica fides +deserves as much to be proverbial as ever Punica fides could +formerly have done. Nay, when we consider that the Carthaginians +came from the Phenicians who are supposed to have produced the +first mariners, we may probably see the true reason of the adage, +and it may open a field of very curious discoveries to the antiquarian. + +We were, however, too eager to pursue our voyage to suffer +anything we left behind us to interrupt our happiness, which, +indeed, many agreeable circumstances conspired to advance. The +weather was inexpressibly pleasant, and we were all seated on the +deck, when our canvas began to swell with the wind. We had +likewise in our view above thirty other sail around us, all in +the same situation. Here an observation occurred to me, which, +perhaps, though extremely obvious, did not offer itself to every +individual in our little fleet: when I perceived with what +different success we proceeded under the influence of a superior +power which, while we lay almost idle ourselves, pushed us +forward on our intended voyage, and compared this with the slow +progress which we had made in the morning, of ourselves, and +without any such assistance, I could not help reflecting how +often the greatest abilities lie wind-bound as it were in life; +or, if they venture out and attempt to beat the seas, they +struggle in vain against wind and tide, and, if they have not +sufficient prudence to put back, are most probably cast away on +the rocks and quicksands which are every day ready to devour them. + +It was now our fortune to set out melioribus avibus. The wind +freshened so briskly in our poop that the shore appeared to move +from us as fast as we did from the shore. The captain declared +he was sure of a wind, meaning its continuance; but he had +disappointed us so often that he had lost all credit. However, +he kept his word a little better now, and we lost sight of our +native land as joyfully, at least, as it is usual to regain it. + +Sunday.--The next morning the captain told me he thought himself +thirty miles to the westward of Plymouth, and before evening +declared that the Lizard Point, which is the extremity of +Cornwall, bore several leagues to leeward. Nothing remarkable +passed this day, except the captain's devotion, who, in his own +phrase, summoned all hands to prayers, which were read by a +common sailor upon deck, with more devout force and address than +they are commonly read by a country curate, and received with +more decency and attention by the sailors than are usually +preserved in city congregations. I am indeed assured, that if +any such affected disregard of the solemn office in which they +were engaged, as I have seen practiced by fine gentlemen and +ladies, expressing a kind of apprehension lest they should be +suspected of being really in earnest in their devotion, had been +shown here, they would have contracted the contempt of the whole +audience. To say the truth, from what I observed in the behavior +of the sailors in this voyage, and on comparing it with what I +have formerly seen of them at sea and on shore, I am convinced +that on land there is nothing more idle and dissolute; in their +own element there are no persons near the level of their degree +who live in the constant practice of half so many good qualities. + +They are, for much the greater part, perfect masters of their +business, and always extremely alert, and ready in executing it, +without any regard to fatigue or hazard. The soldiers themselves +are not better disciplined nor more obedient to orders than these +whilst aboard; they submit to every difficulty which attends +their calling with cheerfulness, and no less virtues and patience +and fortitude are exercised by them every day of their lives. +All these good qualities, however, they always leave behind them +on shipboard; the sailor out of water is, indeed, as wretched an +animal as the fish out of water; for though the former hath, in +common with amphibious animals, the bare power of existing on the +land, yet if he be kept there any time he never fails to become a +nuisance. The ship having had a good deal of motion since she +was last under sail, our women returned to their sickness, and I +to my solitude; having, for twenty-four hours together, scarce +opened my lips to a single person. This circumstance of being +shut up within the circumference of a few yards, with a score of +human creatures, with not one of whom it was possible to +converse, was perhaps so rare as scarce ever to have happened +before, nor could it ever happen to one who disliked it more than +myself, or to myself at a season when I wanted more food for my +social disposition, or could converse less wholesomely and +happily with my own thoughts. To this accident, which fortune +opened to me in the Downs, was owing the first serious thought +which I ever entertained of enrolling myself among the +voyage-writers; some of the most amusing pages, if, indeed, there +be any which deserve that name, were possibly the production of +the most disagreeable hours which ever haunted the author. + +Monday.--At noon the captain took an observation, by which it +appeared that Ushant bore some leagues northward of us, and that +we were just entering the bay of Biscay. We had advanced a very +few miles in this bay before we were entirely becalmed: we +furled our sails, as being of no use to us while we lay in this +most disagreeable situation, more detested by the sailors than +the most violent tempest: we were alarmed with the loss of a +fine piece of salt beef, which had been hung in the sea to +freshen it; this being, it seems, the strange property of +salt-water. The thief was immediately suspected, and presently +afterwards taken by the sailors. He was, indeed, no other than a +huge shark, who, not knowing when he was well off, swallowed +another piece of beef, together with a great iron crook on which +it was hung, and by which he was dragged into the ship. I should +scarce have mentioned the catching this shark, though so exactly +conformable to the rules and practice of voyage-writing, had it +not been for a strange circumstance that attended it. This was +the recovery of the stolen beef out of the shark's maw, where it +lay unchewed and undigested, and whence, being conveyed into the +pot, the flesh, and the thief that had stolen it, joined together +in furnishing variety to the ship's crew. + +During this calm we likewise found the mast of a large vessel, +which the captain thought had lain at least three years in the +sea. It was stuck all over with a little shell-fish or reptile, +called a barnacle, and which probably are the prey of the +rockfish, as our captain calls it, asserting that it is the +finest fish in the world; for which we are obliged to confide +entirely to his taste; for, though he struck the fish with a kind +of harping-iron, and wounded him, I am convinced, to death, yet +he could not possess himself of his body; but the poor wretch +escaped to linger out a few hours with probably great torments. + +In the evening our wind returned, and so briskly, that we ran +upwards of twenty leagues before the next day's [Tuesday's] +observation, which brought us to lat. 47 degrees 42'. The +captain promised us a very speedy passage through the bay; but he +deceived us, or the wind deceived him, for it so slackened at +sunset, that it scarce carried us a mile in an hour during the +whole succeeding night. + +Wednesday.--A gale struck up a little after sunrising, which +carried us between three and four knots or miles an hour. We +were this day at noon about the middle of the bay of Biscay, when +the wind once more deserted us, and we were so entirely becalmed, +that we did not advance a mile in many hours. My fresh-water +reader will perhaps conceive no unpleasant idea from this calm; +but it affected us much more than a storm could have done; for, +as the irascible passions of men are apt to swell with +indignation long after the injury which first raised them is +over, so fared it with the sea. It rose mountains high, and +lifted our poor ship up and down, backwards and forwards, with so +violent an emotion, that there was scarce a man in the ship +better able to stand than myself. Every utensil in our cabin +rolled up and down, as we should have rolled ourselves, had not +our chairs been fast lashed to the floor. In this situation, +with our tables likewise fastened by ropes, the captain and +myself took our meal with some difficulty, and swallowed a little +of our broth, for we spilt much the greater part. The remainder +of our dinner being an old, lean, tame duck roasted, I regretted +but little the loss of, my teeth not being good enough to have +chewed it. + +Our women, who began to creep out of their holes in the morning, +retired again within the cabin to their beds, and were no more +heard of this day, in which my whole comfort was to find by the +captain's relation that the swelling was sometimes much worse; he +did, indeed, take this occasion to be more communicative than +ever, and informed me of such misadventures that had befallen him +within forty-six years at sea as might frighten a very bold +spirit from undertaking even the shortest voyage. Were these, +indeed, but universally known, our matrons of quality would +possibly be deterred from venturing their tender offspring at +sea; by which means our navy would lose the honor of many a young +commodore, who at twenty-two is better versed in maritime affairs +than real seamen are made by experience at sixty. And this may, +perhaps, appear the more extraordinary, as the education of both +seems to be pretty much the same; neither of them having had +their courage tried by Virgil's description of a storm, in which, +inspired as he was, I doubt whether our captain doth not exceed +him. In the evening the wind, which continued in the N.W., again +freshened, and that so briskly that Cape Finisterre appeared by +this day's observation to bear a few miles to the southward. We +now indeed sailed, or rather flew, near ten knots an hour; and +the captain, in the redundancy of his good-humor, declared he +would go to church at Lisbon on Sunday next, for that he was sure +of a wind; and, indeed, we all firmly believed him. But the +event again contradicted him; for we were again visited by a calm +in the evening. + +But here, though our voyage was retarded, we were entertained +with a scene, which as no one can behold without going to sea, so +no one can form an idea of anything equal to it on shore. We +were seated on the deck, women and all, in the serenest evening +that can be imagined. Not a single cloud presented itself to our +view, and the sun himself was the only object which engrossed our +whole attention. He did indeed set with a majesty which is +incapable of description, with which, while the horizon was yet +blazing with glory, our eyes were called off to the opposite part +to survey the moon, which was then at full, and which in rising +presented us with the second object that this world hath offered +to our vision. Compared to these the pageantry of theaters, or +splendor of courts, are sights almost below the regard of +children. We did not return from the deck till late in the +evening; the weather being inexpressibly pleasant, and so warm +that even my old distemper perceived the alteration of the +climate. There was indeed a swell, but nothing comparable to +what we had felt before, and it affected us on the deck much less +than in the cabin. + +Friday.--The calm continued till sun-rising, when the wind +likewise arose, but unluckily for us it came from a wrong +quarter; it was S.S.E., which is that very wind which Juno would +have solicited of Aeolus, had Gneas been in our latitude bound +for Lisbon. + +The captain now put on his most melancholy aspect, and resumed +his former opinion that he was bewitched. He declared with great +solemnity that this was worse and worse, for that a wind directly +in his teeth was worse than no wind at all. Had we pursued the +course which the wind persuaded us to take we had gone directly +for Newfoundland, if we had not fallen in with Ireland in our +way. Two ways remained to avoid this; one was to put into a port +of Galicia; the other, to beat to the westward with as little +sail as possible: and this was our captain's election. + +As for us, poor passengers, any port would have been welcome to +us; especially, as not only our fresh provisions, except a great +number of old ducks and fowls, but even our bread was come to an +end, and nothing but sea-biscuit remained, which I could not +chew. So that now for the first time in my life I saw what it +was to want a bit of bread. + +The wind however was not so unkind as we had apprehended; but, +having declined with the sun, it changed at the approach of the +moon, and became again favorable to us, though so gentle that the +next day's observation carried us very little to the southward of +Cape Finisterre. This evening at six the wind, which had been +very quiet all day, rose very high, and continuing in our favor +drove us seven knots an hour. + +This day we saw a sail, the only one, as I heard of, we had seen +in our whole passage through the bay. I mention this on account +of what appeared to me somewhat extraordinary. Though she was at +such a distance that I could only perceive she was a ship, the +sailors discovered that she was a snow, bound to a port in Galicia. + +Sunday.--After prayers, which our good captain read on the deck +with an audible voice, and with but one mistake, of a lion for +Elias, in the second lesson for this day, we found ourselves far +advanced in 42 degrees, and the captain declared we should sup +off Porte. We had not much wind this day; but, as this was +directly in our favor, we made it up with sail, of which we +crowded all we had. We went only at the rate of four miles an +hour, but with so uneasy a motion, continuing rolling from side +to side, that I suffered more than I had done in our whole +voyage; my bowels being almost twisted out of my belly. However, +the day was very serene and bright, and the captain, who was in +high spirits, affirmed he had never passed a pleasanter at sea. + +The wind continued so brisk that we ran upward of six knots an +hour the whole night. + +Monday.--In the morning our captain concluded that he was got +into lat. 40 degrees, and was very little short of the +Burlings, as they are called in the charts. We came up with them +at five in the afternoon, being the first land we had distinctly +seen since we left Devonshire. They consist of abundance of +little rocky islands, a little distant from the shore, three of +them only showing themselves above the water. + +Here the Portuguese maintain a kind of garrison, if we may allow +it that name. It consists of malefactors, who are banished +hither for a term, for divers small offenses--a policy which they +may have copied from the Egyptians, as we may read in Diodorus +Siculus. That wise people, to prevent the corruption of good +manners by evil communication, built a town on the Red Sea, +whither they transported a great number of their criminals, +having first set an indelible mark on them, to prevent their +returning and mixing with the sober part of their citizens. +These rocks lie about fifteen leagues northwest of Cape Roxent, +or, as it is commonly called, the Rock of Lisbon, which we passed +early the next morning. The wind, indeed, would have carried us +thither sooner; but the captain was not in a hurry, as he was to +lose nothing by his delay. + +Tuesday.--This is a very high mountain, situated on the northern +side of the mouth of the river Tajo, which, rising about Madrid, +in Spain, and soon becoming navigable for small craft, empties +itself, after a long course, into the sea, about four leagues +below Lisbon. + +On the summit of the rock stands a hermitage, which is now in the +possession of an Englishman, who was formerly master of a vessel +trading to Lisbon; and, having changed his religion and his +manners, the latter of which, at least, were none of the best, +betook himself to this place, in order to do penance for his +sins. He is now very old, and hath inhabited this hermitage for +a great number of years, during which he hath received some +countenance from the royal family, and particularly from the +present queen dowager, whose piety refuses no trouble or expense +by which she may make a proselyte, being used to say that the +saving one soul would repay all the endeavors of her life. Here +we waited for the tide, and had the pleasure of surveying the +face of the country, the soil of which, at this season, exactly +resembles an old brick-kiln, or a field where the green sward is +pared up and set a-burning, or rather a smoking, in little heaps +to manure the land. This sight will, perhaps, of all others, +make an Englishman proud of, and pleased with, his own country, +which in verdure excels, I believe, every other country. Another +deficiency here is the want of large trees, nothing above a shrub +being here to be discovered in the circumference of many miles. + +At this place we took a pilot on board, who, being the first +Portuguese we spoke to, gave us an instance of that religious +observance which is paid by all nations to their laws; for, +whereas it is here a capital offense to assist any person in +going on shore from a foreign vessel before it hath been +examined, and every person in it viewed by the magistrates of +health, as they are called, this worthy pilot, for a very small +reward, rowed the Portuguese priest to shore at this place, +beyond which he did not dare to advance, and in venturing whither +he had given sufficient testimony of love for his native country. + +We did not enter the Tajo till noon, when, after passing several +old castles and other buildings which had greatly the aspect of +ruins, we came to the castle of Bellisle, where we had a full +prospect of Lisbon, and were, indeed, within three miles of it. + +Here we were saluted with a gun, which was a signal to pass no +farther till we had complied with certain ceremonies which the +laws of this country require to be observed by all ships which +arrive in this port. We were obliged then to cast anchor, and +expect the arrival of the officers of the customs, without whose +passport no ship must proceed farther than this place. + +Here likewise we received a visit from one of those magistrates +of health before mentioned. He refused to come on board the ship +till every person in her had been drawn up on deck and personally +viewed by him. This occasioned some delay on my part, as it was +not the work of a minute to lift me from the cabin to the deck. +The captain thought my particular case might have been excused +from this ceremony, and that it would be abundantly sufficient if +the magistrate, who was obliged afterwards to visit the cabin, +surveyed me there. But this did not satisfy the magistrate's +strict regard to his duty. When he was told of my lameness, he +called out, with a voice of authority, "Let him be brought up," +and his orders were presently complied with. He was, indeed, a +person of great dignity, as well as of the most exact fidelity in +the discharge of his trust. Both which are the more admirable as +his salary is less than thirty pounds English per annum. + +Before a ship hath been visited by one of those magistrates no +person can lawfully go on board her, nor can any on board depart +from her. This I saw exemplified in a remarkable instance. The +young lad whom I have mentioned as one of our passengers was here +met by his father, who, on the first news of the captain's +arrival, came from Lisbon to Bellisle in a boat, being eager to +embrace a son whom he had not seen for many years. But when he +came alongside our ship neither did the father dare ascend nor +the son descend, as the magistrate of health had not yet been on +board. Some of our readers will, perhaps, admire the great +caution of this policy, so nicely calculated for the preservation +of this country from all pestilential distempers. Others will as +probably regard it as too exact and formal to be constantly +persisted in, in seasons of the utmost safety, as well as in +times of danger. I will not decide either way, but will content +myself with observing that I never yet saw or heard of a place +where a traveler had so much trouble given him at his landing as +here. The only use of which, as all such matters begin and end +in form only, is to put it into the power of low and mean fellows +to be either rudely officious or grossly corrupt, as they shall +see occasion to prefer the gratification of their pride or of +their avarice. + +Of this kind, likewise, is that power which is lodged with other +officers here, of taking away every grain of snuff and every leaf +of tobacco brought hither from other countries, though only for +the temporary use of the person during his residence here. This +is executed with great insolence, and, as it is in the hands of +the dregs of the people, very scandalously; for, under pretense +of searching for tobacco and snuff, they are sure to steal +whatever they can find, insomuch that when they came on board our +sailors addressed us in the Covent-garden language: "Pray, +gentlemen and ladies, take care of your swords and watches." +Indeed, I never yet saw anything equal to the contempt +and hatred which our honest tars every moment expressed +for these Portuguese officers. + +At Bellisle lies buried Catharine of Arragon, widow of prince +Arthur, eldest son of our Henry VII, afterwards married to, and +divorced from Henry VIII. Close by the church where her remains +are deposited is a large convent of Geronymites, one of the most +beautiful piles of building in all Portugal. + +In the evening, at twelve, our ship, having received previous +visits from all the necessary parties, took the advantage of +the tide, and having sailed up to Lisbon cast anchor there, in a +calm and moonshiny night, which made the passage incredibly +pleasant to the women, who remained three hours enjoying it, +whilst I was left to the cooler transports of enjoying their +pleasures at second-hand; and yet, cooler as they may be, whoever +is totally ignorant of such sensation is, at the same time, void +of all ideas of friendship. + +Wednesday.--Lisbon, before which we now lay at anchor, is said to +be built on the same number of hills with old Rome; but these do +not all appear to the water; on the contrary, one sees from +thence one vast high hill and rock, with buildings arising above +one another, and that in so steep and almost perpendicular a +manner, that they all seem to have but one foundation. + +As the houses, convents, churches, &c., are large, and all built +with white stone, they look very beautiful at a distance; but as +you approach nearer, and find them to want every kind of +ornament, all idea of beauty vanishes at once. While I was +surveying the prospect of this city, which bears so little +resemblance to any other that I have ever seen, a reflection +occurred to me that, if a man was suddenly to be removed from +Palmyra hither, and should take a view of no other city, in how +glorious a light would the ancient architecture appear to him! +and what desolation and destruction of arts and sciences would he +conclude had happened between the several eras of these cities! + +I had now waited full three hours upon deck for the return of my +man, whom I had sent to bespeak a good dinner (a thing which had +been long unknown to me) on shore, and then to bring a Lisbon +chaise with him to the seashore; but it seems the impertinence of +the providore was not yet brought to a conclusion. At three +o'clock, when I was from emptiness, rather faint than hungry, my +man returned, and told me there was a new law lately made that no +passenger should set his foot on shore without a special order +from the providore, and that he himself would have been sent to +prison for disobeying it, had he not been protected as the +servant of the captain. He informed me likewise that the captain +had been very industrious to get this order, but that it was then +the providore's hour of sleep, a time when no man, except the +king himself, durst disturb him. + +To avoid prolixity, though in a part of my narrative which may be +more agreeable to my reader than it was to me, the providore, +having at last finished his nap, dispatched this absurd matter of +form, and gave me leave to come, or rather to be carried, on shore. + +What it was that gave the first hint of this strange law is not +easy to guess. Possibly, in the infancy of their defection, and +before their government could be well established, they were +willing to guard against the bare possibility of surprise, of the +success of which bare possibility the Trojan horse will remain +for ever on record, as a great and memorable example. Now the +Portuguese have no walls to secure them, and a vessel of two or +three hundred tons will contain a much larger body of troops than +could be concealed in that famous machine, though Virgil tells us +(somewhat hyperbolically, I believe) that it was as big as a +mountain. + +About seven in the evening I got into a chaise on shore, and was +driven through the nastiest city in the world, though at the same +time one of the most populous, to a kind of coffee-house, which +is very pleasantly situated on the brow of a hill, about a mile +from the city, and hath a very fine prospect of the river Tajo +from Lisbon to the sea. Here we regaled ourselves with a good +supper, for which we were as well charged as if the bill had been +made on the Bath-road, between Newbury and London. + +And now we could joyfully say, + +Egressi optata Troes potiuntur arena. + +Therefore, in the words of Horace, + +--hie Finis chartaeque viaeque. + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon + diff --git a/old/old/jlsbn10.zip b/old/old/jlsbn10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a4dc542 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/jlsbn10.zip |