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diff --git a/old/1146.txt b/old/1146.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f4ea82b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1146.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4425 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon, by Henry Fielding + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon + +Author: Henry Fielding + +Posting Date: July 27, 2008 [EBook #1146] +Release Date: December, 1997 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Keller + + + + + +THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + +by Henry Fielding + + + + +CONTENTS + + INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS + + PREFACE + + DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC + + INTRODUCTION TO THE VOYAGE TO LISBON + + THE VOYAGE + + + + +INTRODUCTION TO SEVERAL WORKS + +When it was determined to extend the present edition of Fielding, not +merely by the addition of Jonathan Wild to the three universally popular +novels, but by two volumes of Miscellanies, there could be no doubt +about at least one of the contents of these latter. The Journal of a +Voyage to Lisbon, if it does not rank in my estimation anywhere near to +Jonathan Wild as an example of our author's genius, is an invaluable and +delightful document for his character and memory. It is indeed, as has +been pointed out in the General Introduction to this series, our main +source of indisputable information as to Fielding dans son naturel, and +its value, so far as it goes, is of the very highest. The gentle and +unaffected stoicism which the author displays under a disease which he +knew well was probably, if not certainly, mortal, and which, whether +mortal or not, must cause him much actual pain and discomfort of a kind +more intolerable than pain itself; his affectionate care for his family; +even little personal touches, less admirable, but hardly less pleasant +than these, showing an Englishman's dislike to be "done" and an +Englishman's determination to be treated with proper respect, are +scarcely less noticeable and important on the biographical side than the +unimpaired brilliancy of his satiric and yet kindly observation of life +and character is on the side of literature. + +There is, as is now well known since Mr. Dobson's separate edition of +the Voyage, a little bibliographical problem about the first appearance +of this Journal in 1755. The best known issue of that year is much +shorter than the version inserted by Murphy and reprinted here, the +passages omitted being chiefly those reflecting on the captain, etc., +and so likely to seem invidious in a book published just after the +author's death, and for the benefit, as was expressly announced, of his +family. But the curious thing is that there is ANOTHER edition, of date +so early that some argument is necessary to determine the priority, +which does give these passages and is identical with the later or +standard version. For satisfaction on this point, however, I must refer +readers to Mr. Dobson himself. + +There might have been a little, but not much, doubt as to a companion +piece for the Journal; for indeed, after we close this (with or without +its "Fragment on Bolingbroke"), the remainder of Fielding's work lies +on a distinctly lower level of interest. It is still interesting, or +it would not be given here. It still has--at least that part which here +appears seems to its editor to have--interest intrinsic and "simple of +itself." But it is impossible for anybody who speaks critically to deny +that we now get into the region where work is more interesting because +of its authorship than it would be if its authorship were different +or unknown. To put the same thing in a sharper antithesis, Fielding is +interesting, first of all, because he is the author of Joseph Andrews, +of Tom Jones, of Amelia, of Jonathan Wild, of the Journal. His plays, +his essays, his miscellanies generally are interesting, first of all, +because they were written by Fielding. + +Yet of these works, the Journey from this World to the Next (which, by +a grim trick of fortune, might have served as a title for the more +interesting Voyage with which we have yoked it) stands clearly first +both in scale and merit. It is indeed very unequal, and as the author +was to leave it unfinished, it is a pity that he did not leave it +unfinished much sooner than he actually did. The first ten chapters, if +of a kind of satire which has now grown rather obsolete for the +nonce, are of a good kind and good in their kind; the history of the +metempsychoses of Julian is of a less good kind, and less good in that +kind. The date of composition of the piece is not known, but it appeared +in the Miscellanies of 1743, and may represent almost any period of its +author's development prior to that year. Its form was a very common form +at the time, and continued to be so. I do not know that it is necessary +to assign any very special origin to it, though Lucian, its chief +practitioner, was evidently and almost avowedly a favorite study of +Fielding's. The Spanish romancers, whether borrowing it from Lucian or +not, had been fond of it; their French followers, of whom the chief were +Fontenelle and Le Sage, had carried it northwards; the English essayists +had almost from the beginning continued the process of acclimatization. +Fielding therefore found it ready to his hand, though the present +condition of this example would lead us to suppose that he did not find +his hand quite ready to it. Still, in the actual "journey," there are +touches enough of the master--not yet quite in his stage of mastery. +It seemed particularly desirable not to close the series without some +representation of the work to which Fielding gave the prime of his +manhood, and from which, had he not, fortunately for English literature, +been driven decidedly against his will, we had had in all probability no +Joseph Andrews, and pretty certainly no Tom Jones. Fielding's periodical +and dramatic work has been comparatively seldom reprinted, and has +never yet been reprinted as a whole. The dramas indeed are open to two +objections--the first, that they are not very "proper;" the second, and +much more serious, that they do not redeem this want of propriety by the +possession of any remarkable literary merit. Three (or two and part of +a third) seemed to escape this double censure--the first two acts of the +Author's Farce (practically a piece to themselves, for the Puppet Show +which follows is almost entirely independent); the famous burlesque of +Tom Thumb, which stands between the Rehearsal and the Critic, but nearer +to the former; and Pasquin, the maturest example of Fielding's satiric +work in drama. These accordingly have been selected; the rest I have +read, and he who likes may read. I have read many worse things than even +the worst of them, but not often worse things by so good a writer as +Henry Fielding. The next question concerned the selection of writings +more miscellaneous still, so as to give in little a complete idea of +Fielding's various powers and experiments. Two difficulties beset this +part of the task--want of space and the absence of anything so markedly +good as absolutely to insist on inclusion. The Essay on Conversation, +however, seemed pretty peremptorily to challenge a place. It is in a +style which Fielding was very slow to abandon, which indeed has left +strong traces even on his great novels; and if its mannerism is not +now very attractive, the separate traits in it are often sharp and +well-drawn. The book would not have been complete without a specimen or +two of Fielding's journalism. The Champion, his first attempt of this +kind, has not been drawn upon in consequence of the extreme difficulty +of fixing with absolute certainty on Fielding's part in it. I do not +know whether political prejudice interferes, more than I have usually +found it interfere, with my judgment of the two Hanoverian-partisan +papers of the '45 time. But they certainly seem to me to fail in +redeeming their dose of rancor and misrepresentation by any sufficient +evidence of genius such as, to my taste, saves not only the party +journalism in verse and prose of Swift and Canning and Praed on one +side, but that of Wolcot and Moore and Sydney Smith on the other. Even +the often-quoted journal of events in London under the Chevalier is +overwrought and tedious. The best thing in the True Patriot seems to me +to be Parson Adams' letter describing his adventure with a young "bowe" +of his day; and this I select, together with one or two numbers of the +Covent Garden Journal. I have not found in this latter anything more +characteristic than Murphy's selection, though Mr. Dobson, with his +unfailing kindness, lent me an original and unusually complete set of +the Journal itself. + +It is to the same kindness that I owe the opportunity of presenting the +reader with something indisputably Fielding's and very characteristic +of him, which Murphy did not print, and which has not, so far as I know, +ever appeared either in a collection or a selection of Fielding's work. +After the success of David Simple, Fielding gave his sister, for whom he +had already written a preface to that novel, another preface for a set +of Familiar Letters between the characters of David Simple and others. +This preface Murphy reprinted; but he either did not notice, or did +not choose to attend to, a note towards the end of the book attributing +certain of the letters to the author of the preface, the attribution +being accompanied by an agreeably warm and sisterly denunciation of +those who ascribed to Fielding matter unworthy of him. From these the +letter which I have chosen, describing a row on the Thames, seems to +me not only characteristic, but, like all this miscellaneous work, +interesting no less for its weakness than for its strength. In hardly +any other instance known to me can we trace so clearly the influence of +a suitable medium and form on the genius of the artist. There are some +writers--Dryden is perhaps the greatest of them--to whom form and medium +seem almost indifferent, their all-round craftsmanship being such that +they can turn any kind and every style to their purpose. There are +others, of whom I think our present author is the chief, who are +never really at home but in one kind. In Fielding's case that kind was +narrative of a peculiar sort, half-sentimental, half-satirical, and +almost wholly sympathetic--narrative which has the singular gift of +portraying the liveliest character and yet of admitting the widest +disgression and soliloquy. + +Until comparatively late in his too short life, when he found this +special path of his (and it is impossible to say whether the actual +finding was in the case of Jonathan or in the case of Joseph), he did +but flounder and slip. When he had found it, and was content to walk +in it, he strode with as sure and steady a step as any other, even the +greatest, of those who carry and hand on the torch of literature through +the ages. But it is impossible to derive full satisfaction from his +feats in this part of the race without some notion of his performances +elsewhere; and I believe that such a notion will be supplied to the +readers of his novels by the following volumes, in a very large number +of cases, for the first time. + + + + +THE JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON + + + + +DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC + +Your candor is desired on the perusal of the following sheets, as +they are the product of a genius that has long been your delight and +entertainment. It must be acknowledged that a lamp almost burnt out does +not give so steady and uniform a light as when it blazes in its full +vigor; but yet it is well known that by its wavering, as if struggling +against its own dissolution, it sometimes darts a ray as bright as ever. +In like manner, a strong and lively genius will, in its last struggles, +sometimes mount aloft, and throw forth the most striking marks of its +original luster. + +Wherever these are to be found, do you, the genuine patrons of +extraordinary capacities, be as liberal in your applauses of him who is +now no more as you were of him whilst he was yet amongst you. And, on +the other hand, if in this little work there should appear any traces of +a weakened and decayed life, let your own imaginations place before your +eyes a true picture in that of a hand trembling in almost its +latest hour, of a body emaciated with pains, yet struggling for your +entertainment; and let this affecting picture open each tender heart, +and call forth a melting tear, to blot out whatever failings may be +found in a work begun in pain, and finished almost at the same period +with life. It was thought proper by the friends of the deceased that +this little piece should come into your hands as it came from the hands +of the author, it being judged that you would be better pleased to have +an opportunity of observing the faintest traces of a genius you have +long admired, than have it patched by a different hand, by which means +the marks of its true author might have been effaced. That the success +of the last written, though first published, volume of the author's +posthumous pieces may be attended with some convenience to those +innocents he hath left behind, will no doubt be a motive to encourage +its circulation through the kingdom, which will engage every future +genius to exert itself for your pleasure. The principles and spirit +which breathe in every line of the small fragment begun in answer to +Lord Bolingbroke will unquestionably be a sufficient apology for its +publication, although vital strength was wanting to finish a work so +happily begun and so well designed. PREFACE THERE would not, perhaps, +be a more pleasant or profitable study, among those which have their +principal end in amusement, than that of travels or voyages, if they +were wrote as they might be and ought to be, with a joint view to +the entertainment and information of mankind. If the conversation of +travelers be so eagerly sought after as it is, we may believe their +books will be still more agreeable company, as they will in general be +more instructive and more entertaining. But when I say the conversation +of travelers is usually so welcome, I must be understood to mean that +only of such as have had good sense enough to apply their peregrinations +to a proper use, so as to acquire from them a real and valuable +knowledge of men and things, both which are best known by comparison. If +the customs and manners of men were everywhere the same, there would be +no office so dull as that of a traveler, for the difference of hills, +valleys, rivers, in short, the various views of which we may see the +face of the earth, would scarce afford him a pleasure worthy of +his labor; and surely it would give him very little opportunity of +communicating any kind of entertainment or improvement to others. + +To make a traveler an agreeable companion to a man of sense, it is +necessary, not only that he should have seen much, but that he should +have overlooked much of what he hath seen. Nature is not, any more than +a great genius, always admirable in her productions, and therefore the +traveler, who may be called her commentator, should not expect to find +everywhere subjects worthy of his notice. It is certain, indeed, that +one may be guilty of omission, as well as of the opposite extreme; but +a fault on that side will be more easily pardoned, as it is better to +be hungry than surfeited; and to miss your dessert at the table of a man +whose gardens abound with the choicest fruits, than to have your +taste affronted with every sort of trash that can be picked up at the +green-stall or the wheel-barrow. If we should carry on the analogy +between the traveler and the commentator, it is impossible to keep one's +eye a moment off from the laborious much-read doctor Zachary Gray, of +whose redundant notes on Hudibras I shall only say that it is, I am +confident, the single book extant in which above five hundred authors +are quoted, not one of which could be found in the collection of the +late doctor Mead. + +As there are few things which a traveler is to record, there are fewer +on which he is to offer his observations: this is the office of the +reader; and it is so pleasant a one, that he seldom chooses to have +it taken from him, under the pretense of lending him assistance. Some +occasions, indeed, there are, when proper observations are pertinent, +and others when they are necessary; but good sense alone must point them +out. I shall lay down only one general rule; which I believe to be of +universal truth between relator and hearer, as it is between author and +reader; this is, that the latter never forgive any observation of the +former which doth not convey some knowledge that they are sensible they +could not possibly have attained of themselves. + +But all his pains in collecting knowledge, all his judgment in +selecting, and all his art in communicating it, will not suffice, +unless he can make himself, in some degree, an agreeable as well as an +instructive companion. The highest instruction we can derive from the +tedious tale of a dull fellow scarce ever pays us for our attention. +There is nothing, I think, half so valuable as knowledge, and yet there +is nothing which men will give themselves so little trouble to attain; +unless it be, perhaps, that lowest degree of it which is the object +of curiosity, and which hath therefore that active passion constantly +employed in its service. This, indeed, it is in the power of every +traveler to gratify; but it is the leading principle in weak minds only. + +To render his relation agreeable to the man of sense, it is therefore +necessary that the voyager should possess several eminent and rare +talents; so rare indeed, that it is almost wonderful to see them ever +united in the same person. And if all these talents must concur in the +relator, they are certainly in a more eminent degree necessary to the +writer; for here the narration admits of higher ornaments of style, +and every fact and sentiment offers itself to the fullest and most +deliberate examination. It would appear, therefore, I think, somewhat +strange if such writers as these should be found extremely common; since +nature hath been a most parsimonious distributor of her richest talents, +and hath seldom bestowed many on the same person. But, on the other +hand, why there should scarce exist a single writer of this kind worthy +our regard; and, whilst there is no other branch of history (for this +is history) which hath not exercised the greatest pens, why this alone +should be overlooked by all men of great genius and erudition, and +delivered up to the Goths and Vandals as their lawful property, is +altogether as difficult to determine. And yet that this is the case, +with some very few exceptions, is most manifest. Of these I shall +willingly admit Burnet and Addison; if the former was not, perhaps, to +be considered as a political essayist, and the latter as a commentator +on the classics, rather than as a writer of travels; which last title, +perhaps, they would both of them have been least ambitious to affect. +Indeed, if these two and two or three more should be removed from +the mass, there would remain such a heap of dullness behind, that the +appellation of voyage-writer would not appear very desirable. I am +not here unapprised that old Homer himself is by some considered as a +voyage-writer; and, indeed, the beginning of his Odyssey may be urged +to countenance that opinion, which I shall not controvert. But, whatever +species of writing the Odyssey is of, it is surely at the head of that +species, as much as the Iliad is of another; and so far the excellent +Longinus would allow, I believe, at this day. + +But, in reality, the Odyssey, the Telemachus, and all of that kind, are +to the voyage-writing I here intend, what romance is to true history, +the former being the confounder and corrupter of the latter. I am far +from supposing that Homer, Hesiod, and the other ancient poets and +mythologists, had any settled design to pervert and confuse the records +of antiquity; but it is certain they have effected it; and for my part I +must confess I should have honored and loved Homer more had he written +a true history of his own times in humble prose, than those noble poems +that have so justly collected the praise of all ages; for, though I read +these with more admiration and astonishment, I still read Herodotus, +Thucydides, and Xenophon with more amusement and more satisfaction. The +original poets were not, however, without excuse. They found the limits +of nature too straight for the immensity of their genius, which they had +not room to exert without extending fact by fiction: and that especially +at a time when the manners of men were too simple to afford that variety +which they have since offered in vain to the choice of the meanest +writers. In doing this they are again excusable for the manner in which +they have done it. + + Ut speciosa dehine miracula promant. + +They are not, indeed, so properly said to turn reality into fiction, +as fiction into reality. Their paintings are so bold, their colors so +strong, that everything they touch seems to exist in the very manner +they represent it; their portraits are so just, and their landscapes so +beautiful, that we acknowledge the strokes of nature in both, without +inquiring whether Nature herself, or her journeyman the poet, formed the +first pattern of the piece. But other writers (I will put Pliny at their +head) have no such pretensions to indulgence; they lie for lying sake, +or in order insolently to impose the most monstrous improbabilities and +absurdities upon their readers on their own authority; treating them as +some fathers treat children, and as other fathers do laymen, exacting +their belief of whatever they relate, on no other foundation than their +own authority, without ever taking the pains or adapting their lies to +human credulity, and of calculating them for the meridian of a common +understanding; but, with as much weakness as wickedness, and with more +impudence often than either, they assert facts contrary to the honor of +God, to the visible order of the creation, to the known laws of nature, +to the histories of former ages, and to the experience of our own, +and which no man can at once understand and believe. If it should +be objected (and it can nowhere be objected better than where I now +write, [12] as there is nowhere more pomp of bigotry) that whole nations +have been firm believers in such most absurd suppositions, I reply, +the fact is not true. They have known nothing of the matter, and have +believed they knew not what. It is, indeed, with me no matter of doubt +but that the pope and his clergy might teach any of those Christian +heterodoxies, the tenets of which are the most diametrically opposite to +their own; nay, all the doctrines of Zoroaster, Confucius, and Mahomet, +not only with certain and immediate success, but without one Catholic in +a thousand knowing he had changed his religion. + +[Footnote 12: At Lisbon.] + +What motive a man can have to sit down, and to draw forth a list of +stupid, senseless, incredible lies upon paper, would be difficult to +determine, did not Vanity present herself so immediately as the adequate +cause. The vanity of knowing more than other men is, perhaps, besides +hunger, the only inducement to writing, at least to publishing, at all. +Why then should not the voyage-writer be inflamed with the glory of +having seen what no man ever did or will see but himself? This is +the true source of the wonderful in the discourse and writings, and +sometimes, I believe, in the actions of men. There is another fault, of +a kind directly opposite to this, to which these writers are sometimes +liable, when, instead of filling their pages with monsters which nobody +hath ever seen, and with adventures which never have, nor could possibly +have, happened to them, waste their time and paper with recording things +and facts of so common a kind, that they challenge no other right of +being remembered than as they had the honor of having happened to the +author, to whom nothing seems trivial that in any manner happens to +himself. + +Of such consequence do his own actions appear to one of this kind, that +he would probably think himself guilty of infidelity should he omit the +minutest thing in the detail of his journal. That the fact is true is +sufficient to give it a place there, without any consideration whether +it is capable of pleasing or surprising, of diverting or informing, the +reader. I have seen a play (if I mistake not it is one of Mrs. Behn's +or of Mrs. Centlivre's) where this vice in a voyage-writer is finely +ridiculed. An ignorant pedant, to whose government, for I know not what +reason, the conduct of a young nobleman in his travels is committed, and +who is sent abroad to show my lord the world, of which he knows nothing +himself, before his departure from a town, calls for his Journal to +record the goodness of the wine and tobacco, with other articles of the +same importance, which are to furnish the materials of a voyage at his +return home. The humor, it is true, is here carried very far; and yet, +perhaps, very little beyond what is to be found in writers who profess +no intention of dealing in humor at all. Of one or other, or both of +these kinds, are, I conceive, all that vast pile of books which pass +under the names of voyages, travels, adventures, lives, memoirs, +histories, etc., some of which a single traveler sends into the world in +many volumes, and others are, by judicious booksellers, collected into +vast bodies in folio, and inscribed with their own names, as if they +were indeed their own travels: thus unjustly attributing to themselves +the merit of others. + +Now, from both these faults we have endeavored to steer clear in the +following narrative; which, however the contrary may be insinuated by +ignorant, unlearned, and fresh-water critics, who have never traveled +either in books or ships, I do solemnly declare doth, in my own +impartial opinion, deviate less from truth than any other voyage extant; +my lord Anson's alone being, perhaps, excepted. Some few embellishments +must be allowed to every historian; for we are not to conceive that the +speeches in Livy, Sallust, or Thucydides, were literally spoken in the +very words in which we now read them. It is sufficient that every fact +hath its foundation in truth, as I do seriously aver is the ease in +the ensuing pages; and when it is so, a good critic will be so far +from denying all kind of ornament of style or diction, or even of +circumstance, to his author, that he would be rather sorry if he omitted +it; for he could hence derive no other advantage than the loss of an +additional pleasure in the perusal. + +Again, if any merely common incident should appear in this journal, +which will seldom I apprehend be the case, the candid reader will +easily perceive it is not introduced for its own sake, but for some +observations and reflections naturally resulting from it; and which, +if but little to his amusement, tend directly to the instruction of +the reader or to the information of the public; to whom if I choose to +convey such instruction or information with an air of joke and laughter, +none but the dullest of fellows will, I believe, censure it; but if +they should, I have the authority of more than one passage in Horace to +allege in my defense. Having thus endeavored to obviate some censures, +to which a man without the gift of foresight, or any fear of the +imputation of being a conjurer, might conceive this work would be +liable, I might now undertake a more pleasing task, and fall at once to +the direct and positive praises of the work itself; of which indeed, I +could say a thousand good things; but the task is so very pleasant that +I shall leave it wholly to the reader, and it is all the task that I +impose on him. A moderation for which he may think himself obliged to me +when he compares it with the conduct of authors, who often fill a whole +sheet with their own praises, to which they sometimes set their own real +names, and sometimes a fictitious one. One hint, however, I must give +the kind reader; which is, that if he should be able to find no sort of +amusement in the book, he will be pleased to remember the public utility +which will arise from it. If entertainment, as Mr. Richardson observes, +be but a secondary consideration in a romance; with which Mr. Addison, I +think, agrees, affirming the use of the pastry cook to be the first; if +this, I say, be true of a mere work of invention, sure it may well be +so considered in a work founded, like this, on truth; and where the +political reflections form so distinguishing a part. But perhaps I may +hear, from some critic of the most saturnine complexion, that my vanity +must have made a horrid dupe of my judgment, if it hath flattered me +with an expectation of having anything here seen in a grave light, or of +conveying any useful instruction to the public, or to their guardians. I +answer, with the great man whom I just now quoted, that my purpose is +to convey instruction in the vehicle of entertainment; and so to +bring about at once, like the revolution in the Rehearsal, a +perfect reformation of the laws relating to our maritime affairs: an +undertaking, I will not say more modest, but surely more feasible, than +that of reforming a whole people, by making use of a vehicular story, to +wheel in among them worse manners than their own. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +In the beginning of August, 1753, when I had taken the duke of +Portland's medicine, as it is called, near a year, the effects of which +had been the carrying off the symptoms of a lingering imperfect gout, I +was persuaded by Mr. Ranby, the king's premier sergeant-surgeon, and the +ablest advice, I believe, in all branches of the physical profession, +to go immediately to Bath. I accordingly wrote that very night to Mrs. +Bowden, who, by the next post, informed me she had taken me a lodging +for a month certain. Within a few days after this, whilst I was +preparing for my journey, and when I was almost fatigued to death with +several long examinations, relating to five different murders, +all committed within the space of a week, by different gangs of +street-robbers, I received a message from his grace the duke of +Newcastle, by Mr. Carrington, the king's messenger, to attend his +grace the next morning, in Lincoln's-inn-fields, upon some business of +importance; but I excused myself from complying with the message, as, +besides being lame, I was very ill with the great fatigues I had lately +undergone added to my distemper. + +His grace, however, sent Mr. Carrington, the very next morning, +with another summons; with which, though in the utmost distress, I +immediately complied; but the duke, happening, unfortunately for me, +to be then particularly engaged, after I had waited some time, sent a +gentleman to discourse with me on the best plan which could be invented +for putting an immediate end to those murders and robberies which were +every day committed in the streets; upon which I promised to transmit +my opinion, in writing, to his grace, who, as the gentleman informed me, +intended to lay it before the privy council. + +Though this visit cost me a severe cold, I, notwithstanding, set myself +down to work; and in about four days sent the duke as regular a plan +as I could form, with all the reasons and arguments I could bring to +support it, drawn out in several sheets of paper; and soon received a +message from the duke by Mr. Carrington, acquainting me that my plan was +highly approved of, and that all the terms of it would be complied +with. The principal and most material of those terms was the immediately +depositing six hundred pound in my hands; at which small charge I +undertook to demolish the then reigning gangs, and to put the civil +policy into such order, that no such gangs should ever be able, for the +future, to form themselves into bodies, or at least to remain any time +formidable to the public. + +I had delayed my Bath journey for some time, contrary to the repeated +advice of my physical acquaintance, and to the ardent desire of my +warmest friends, though my distemper was now turned to a deep jaundice; +in which case the Bath waters are generally reputed to be almost +infallible. But I had the most eager desire of demolishing this gang of +villains and cut-throats, which I was sure of accomplishing the moment +I was enabled to pay a fellow who had undertaken, for a small sum, to +betray them into the hands of a set of thief-takers whom I had +enlisted into the service, all men of known and approved fidelity and +intrepidity. + +After some weeks the money was paid at the treasury, and within a few +days after two hundred pounds of it had come to my hands, the whole +gang of cut-throats was entirely dispersed, seven of them were in actual +custody, and the rest driven, some out of the town, and others out of +the kingdom. Though my health was now reduced to the last extremity, +I continued to act with the utmost vigor against these villains; in +examining whom, and in taking the depositions against them, I have often +spent whole days, nay, sometimes whole nights, especially when there was +any difficulty in procuring sufficient evidence to convict them; which +is a very common case in street-robberies, even when the guilt of the +party is sufficiently apparent to satisfy the most tender conscience. +But courts of justice know nothing of a cause more than what is told +them on oath by a witness; and the most flagitious villain upon earth is +tried in the same manner as a man of the best character who is accused +of the same crime. Meanwhile, amidst all my fatigues and distresses, I +had the satisfaction to find my endeavors had been attended with such +success that this hellish society were almost utterly extirpated, and +that, instead of reading of murders and street-robberies in the news +almost every morning, there was, in the remaining part of the month of +November, and in all December, not only no such thing as a murder, but +not even a street-robbery committed. Some such, indeed, were mentioned +in the public papers; but they were all found on the strictest inquiry, +to be false. In this entire freedom from street-robberies, during the +dark months, no man will, I believe, scruple to acknowledge that the +winter of 1753 stands unrivaled, during a course of many years; and this +may possibly appear the more extraordinary to those who recollect +the outrages with which it began. Having thus fully accomplished my +undertaking, I went into the country, in a very weak and deplorable +condition, with no fewer or less diseases than a jaundice, a dropsy, and +an asthma, altogether uniting their forces in the destruction of a body +so entirely emaciated that it had lost all its muscular flesh. Mine was +now no longer what was called a Bath case; nor, if it had been so, had +I strength remaining sufficient to go thither, a ride of six miles only +being attended with an intolerable fatigue. I now discharged my lodgings +at Bath, which I had hitherto kept. I began in earnest to look on my +case as desperate, and I had vanity enough to rank myself with those +heroes who, of old times, became voluntary sacrifices to the good of the +public. But, lest the reader should be too eager to catch at the +word VANITY, and should be unwilling to indulge me with so sublime a +gratification, for I think he is not too apt to gratify me, I will take +my key a pitch lower, and will frankly own that I had a stronger motive +than the love of the public to push me on: I will therefore confess to +him that my private affairs at the beginning of the winter had but a +gloomy aspect; for I had not plundered the public or the poor of those +sums which men, who are always ready to plunder both as much as they +can, have been pleased to suspect me of taking: on the contrary, by +composing, instead of inflaming the quarrels of porters and beggars +(which I blush when I say hath not been universally practiced), and by +refusing to take a shilling from a man who most undoubtedly would not +have had another left, I had reduced an income of about five hundred +pounds [13] a-year of the dirtiest money upon earth to little more than +three hundred pounds; a considerable proportion of which remained with +my clerk; and, indeed, if the whole had done so, as it ought, he would +be but ill paid for sitting almost sixteen hours in the twenty-four in +the most unwholesome, as well as nauseous air in the universe, and which +hath in his case corrupted a good constitution without contaminating his +morals. + +[Footnote 13: A predecessor of mine used to boast that he made one thousand +pounds a-year in his office; but how he did this (if indeed he did it) +is to me a secret. His clerk, now mine, told me I had more business than +he had ever known there; I am sure I had as much as any man could do. +The truth is, the fees are so very low, when any are due, and so much is +done for nothing, that, if a single justice of peace had business enough +to employ twenty clerks, neither he nor they would get much by their +labor.] + +The public will not, therefore, I hope, think I betray a secret when I +inform them that I received from the Government a yearly pension out +of the public service money; which, I believe, indeed, would have been +larger had my great patron been convinced of an error, which I have +heard him utter more than once, that he could not indeed say that +the acting as a principal justice of peace in Westminster was on all +accounts very desirable, but that all the world knew it was a very +lucrative office. Now, to have shown him plainly that a man must be a +rogue to make a very little this way, and that he could not make much +by being as great a rogue as he could be, would have required more +confidence than, I believe, he had in me, and more of his conversation +than he chose to allow me; I therefore resigned the office and +the farther execution of my plan to my brother, who had long been +my assistant. And now, lest the case between me and the reader should +be the same in both instances as it was between me and the great man, I +will not add another word on the subject. + + +But, not to trouble the reader with anecdotes, contrary to my own rule +laid down in my preface, I assure him I thought my family was very +slenderly provided for; and that my health began to decline so fast that +I had very little more of life left to accomplish what I had thought of +too late. I rejoiced therefore greatly in seeing an opportunity, as I +apprehended, of gaining such merit in the eye of the public, that, if my +life were the sacrifice to it, my friends might think they did a popular +act in putting my family at least beyond the reach of necessity, which I +myself began to despair of doing. And though I disclaim all pretense to +that Spartan or Roman patriotism which loved the public so well that it +was always ready to become a voluntary sacrifice to the public good, I +do solemnly declare I have that love for my family. + +After this confession therefore, that the public was not the principal +deity to which my life was offered a sacrifice, and when it is farther +considered what a poor sacrifice this was, being indeed no other than +the giving up what I saw little likelihood of being able to hold much +longer, and which, upon the terms I held it, nothing but the weakness +of human nature could represent to me as worth holding at all; the world +may, I believe, without envy, allow me all the praise to which I have +any title. My aim, in fact, was not praise, which is the last gift they +care to bestow; at least, this was not my aim as an end, but rather as a +means of purchasing some moderate provision for my family, which, though +it should exceed my merit, must fall infinitely short of my service, if +I succeeded in my attempt. To say the truth, the public never act more +wisely than when they act most liberally in the distribution of their +rewards; and here the good they receive is often more to be considered +than the motive from which they receive it. Example alone is the end +of all public punishments and rewards. Laws never inflict disgrace in +resentment, nor confer honor from gratitude. "For it is very hard, my +lord," said a convicted felon at the bar to the late excellent judge +Burnet, "to hang a poor man for stealing a horse." "You are not to be +hanged sir," answered my ever-honored and beloved friend, "for stealing +a horse, but you are to be hanged that horses may not be stolen." In +like manner it might have been said to the late duke of Marlborough, +when the parliament was so deservedly liberal to him, after the battle +of Blenheim, "You receive not these honors and bounties on account of a +victory past, but that other victories may be obtained." + +I was now, in the opinion of all men, dying of a complication of +disorders; and, were I desirous of playing the advocate, I have an +occasion fair enough; but I disdain such an attempt. I relate facts +plainly and simply as they are; and let the world draw from them what +conclusions they please, taking with them the following facts for their +instruction: the one is, that the proclamation offering one hundred +pounds for the apprehending felons for certain felonies committed in +certain places, which I prevented from being revived, had formerly cost +the government several thousand pounds within a single year. Secondly, +that all such proclamations, instead of curing the evil, had actually +increased it; had multiplied the number of robberies; had propagated +the worst and wickedest of perjuries; had laid snares for youth and +ignorance, which, by the temptation of these rewards, had been sometimes +drawn into guilt; and sometimes, which cannot be thought on without the +highest horror, had destroyed them without it. Thirdly, that my plan had +not put the government to more than three hundred pound expense, and had +produced none of the ill consequences above mentioned; but, lastly, had +actually suppressed the evil for a time, and had plainly pointed out the +means of suppressing it for ever. This I would myself have undertaken, +had my health permitted, at the annual expense of the above-mentioned +sum. + +After having stood the terrible six weeks which succeeded last +Christmas, and put a lucky end, if they had known their own interests, +to such numbers of aged and infirm valetudinarians, who might have +gasped through two or three mild winters more, I returned to town in +February, in a condition less despaired of by myself than by any of my +friends. I now became the patient of Dr. Ward, who wished I had taken +his advice earlier. By his advice I was tapped, and fourteen quarts +of water drawn from my belly. The sudden relaxation which this caused, +added to my enervate, emaciated habit of body, so weakened me that +within two days I was thought to be falling into the agonies of death. I +was at the worst on that memorable day when the public lost Mr. Pelham. +From that day I began slowly, as it were, to draw my feet out of the +grave; till in two months' time I had again acquired some little degree +of strength, but was again full of water. During this whole time I took +Mr. Ward's medicines, which had seldom any perceptible operation. Those +in particular of the diaphoretic kind, the working of which is thought +to require a great strength of constitution to support, had so little +effect on me, that Mr. Ward declared it was as vain to attempt sweating +me as a deal board. In this situation I was tapped a second time. I had +one quart of water less taken from me now than before; but I bore all +the consequences of the operation much better. This I attributed greatly +to a dose of laudanum prescribed by my surgeon. It first gave me the +most delicious flow of spirits, and afterwards as comfortable a nap. + +The month of May, which was now begun, it seemed reasonable to +expect would introduce the spring, and drive of that winter which yet +maintained its footing on the stage. I resolved therefore to visit a +little house of mine in the country, which stands at Ealing, in the +county of Middlesex, in the best air, I believe, in the whole kingdom, +and far superior to that of Kensington Gravel-pits; for the gravel is +here much wider and deeper, the place higher and more open towards the +south, whilst it is guarded from the north wind by a ridge of hills, and +from the smells and smoke of London by its distance; which last is not +the fate of Kensington, when the wind blows from any corner of the east. + +Obligations to Mr. Ward I shall always confess; for I am convinced that +he omitted no care in endeavoring to serve me, without any expectation +or desire of fee or reward. + +The powers of Mr. Ward's remedies want indeed no unfair puffs of mine +to give them credit; and though this distemper of the dropsy stands, I +believe, first in the list of those over which he is always certain of +triumphing, yet, possibly, there might be something particular in my +case capable of eluding that radical force which had healed so many +thousands. The same distemper, in different constitutions, may possibly +be attended with such different symptoms, that to find an infallible +nostrum for the curing any one distemper in every patient may be almost +as difficult as to find a panacea for the cure of all. + +But even such a panacea one of the greatest scholars and best of men +did lately apprehend he had discovered. It is true, indeed, he was no +physician; that is, he had not by the forms of his education acquired +a right of applying his skill in the art of physic to his own private +advantage; and yet, perhaps, it may be truly asserted that no other +modern hath contributed so much to make his physical skill useful to the +public; at least, that none hath undergone the pains of communicating +this discovery in writing to the world. The reader, I think, will scarce +need to be informed that the writer I mean is the late bishop of Cloyne, +in Ireland, and the discovery that of the virtues of tar-water. + +I then happened to recollect, upon a hint given me by the inimitable +and shamefully-distressed author of the Female Quixote, that I had +many years before, from curiosity only, taken a cursory view of bishop +Berkeley's treatise on the virtues of tar-water, which I had formerly +observed he strongly contends to be that real panacea which Sydenham +supposes to have an existence in nature, though it yet remains +undiscovered, and perhaps will always remain so. + +Upon the reperusal of this book I found the bishop only asserting his +opinion that tar-water might be useful in the dropsy, since he had known +it to have a surprising success in the cure of a most stubborn anasarca, +which is indeed no other than, as the word implies, the dropsy of the +flesh; and this was, at that time, a large part of my complaint. + +After a short trial, therefore, of a milk diet, which I presently found +did not suit with my case, I betook myself to the bishop's prescription, +and dosed myself every morning and evening with half a pint of +tar-water. + +It was no more than three weeks since my last tapping, and my belly and +limbs were distended with water. This did not give me the worse opinion +of tar-water; for I never supposed there could be any such virtue +in tar-water as immediately to carry off a quantity of water already +collected. For my delivery from this I well knew I must be again obliged +to the trochar; and that if the tar-water did me any good at all it +must be only by the slowest degrees; and that if it should ever get +the better of my distemper it must be by the tedious operation of +undermining, and not by a sudden attack and storm. + +Some visible effects, however, and far beyond what my most sanguine +hopes could with any modesty expect, I very soon experienced; the +tar-water having, from the very first, lessened my illness, increased +my appetite, and added, though in a very slow proportion, to my bodily +strength. But if my strength had increased a little my water daily +increased much more. So that, by the end of May, my belly became again +ripe for the trochar, and I was a third time tapped; upon which, two +very favorable symptoms appeared. I had three quarts of water taken from +me less than had been taken the last time; and I bore the relaxation +with much less (indeed with scarce any) faintness. + +Those of my physical friends on whose judgment I chiefly depended seemed +to think my only chance of life consisted in having the whole summer +before me; in which I might hope to gather sufficient strength to +encounter the inclemencies of the ensuing winter. But this chance began +daily to lessen. I saw the summer mouldering away, or rather, indeed, +the year passing away without intending to bring on any summer at all. +In the whole month of May the sun scarce appeared three times. So that +the early fruits came to the fullness of their growth, and to some +appearance of ripeness, without acquiring any real maturity; having +wanted the heat of the sun to soften and meliorate their juices. I saw +the dropsy gaining rather than losing ground; the distance growing still +shorter between the tappings. I saw the asthma likewise beginning again +to become more troublesome. I saw the midsummer quarter drawing towards +a close. So that I conceived, if the Michaelmas quarter should steal +off in the same manner, as it was, in my opinion, very much to be +apprehended it would, I should be delivered up to the attacks of winter +before I recruited my forces, so as to be anywise able to withstand +them. + +I now began to recall an intention, which from the first dawnings of my +recovery I had conceived, of removing to a warmer climate; and, finding +this to be approved of by a very eminent physician, I resolved to put +it into immediate execution. Aix in Provence was the place first thought +on; but the difficulties of getting thither were insuperable. The +Journey by land, beside the expense of it, was infinitely too long and +fatiguing; and I could hear of no ship that was likely to set out from +London, within any reasonable time, for Marseilles, or any other port in +that part of the Mediterranean. + +Lisbon was presently fixed on in its room. The air here, as it was near +four degrees to the south of Aix, must be more mild and warm, and the +winter shorter and less piercing. + +It was not difficult to find a ship bound to a place with which we carry +on so immense a trade. Accordingly, my brother soon informed me of the +excellent accommodations for passengers which were to be found on board +a ship that was obliged to sail for Lisbon in three days. I eagerly +embraced the offer, notwithstanding the shortness of the time; and, +having given my brother full power to contract for our passage, I began +to prepare my family for the voyage with the utmost expedition. + +But our great haste was needless; for the captain having twice put off +his sailing, I at length invited him to dinner with me at Fordhook, a +full week after the time on which he had declared, and that with many +asseverations, he must and would weigh anchor. + +He dined with me according to his appointment; and when all matters +were settled between us, left me with positive orders to be on board the +Wednesday following, when he declared he would fall down the river +to Gravesend, and would not stay a moment for the greatest man in the +world. He advised me to go to Gravesend by land, and there wait the +arrival of his ship, assigning many reasons for this, every one of which +was, as I well remember, among those that had before determined me to go +on board near the Tower. + + + + +THE VOYAGE + + +WEDNESDAY, June 26, 1754.--On this day the most melancholy sun I had +ever beheld arose, and found me awake at my house at Fordhook. By the +light of this sun I was, in my own opinion, last to behold and take +leave of some of those creatures on whom I doted with a mother-like +fondness, guided by nature and passion, and uncured and unhardened by +all the doctrine of that philosophical school where I had learned to +bear pains and to despise death. In this situation, as I could not +conquer Nature, I submitted entirely to her, and she made as great a +fool of me as she had ever done of any woman whatsoever; under pretense +of giving me leave to enjoy, she drew me in to suffer, the company of my +little ones during eight hours; and I doubt not whether, in that time, I +did not undergo more than in all my distemper. + +At twelve precisely my coach was at the door, which was no sooner told +me than I kissed my children round, and went into it with some little +resolution. My wife, who behaved more like a heroine and philosopher, +though at the same time the tenderest mother in the world, and my eldest +daughter, followed me; some friends went with us, and others here took +their leave; and I heard my behavior applauded, with many murmurs +and praises to which I well knew I had no title; as all other such +philosophers may, if they have any modesty, confess on the like +occasions. + +In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe, and immediately went on board, +and were to have sailed the next morning; but, as this was the king's +proclamation-day, and consequently a holiday at the custom-house, the +captain could not clear his vessel till the Thursday; for these holidays +are as strictly observed as those in the popish calendar, and are almost +as numerous. I might add that both are opposite to the genius of trade, +and consequently contra bonum publicum. + +To go on board the ship it was necessary first to go into a boat; a +matter of no small difficulty, as I had no use of my limbs, and was +to be carried by men who, though sufficiently strong for their burden, +were, like Archimedes, puzzled to find a steady footing. Of this, as +few of my readers have not gone into wherries on the Thames, they will +easily be able to form to themselves an idea. However, by the assistance +of my friend, Mr. Welch, whom I never think or speak of but with love +and esteem, I conquered this difficulty, as I did afterwards that of +ascending the ship, into which I was hoisted with more ease by a chair +lifted with pulleys. I was soon seated in a great chair in the cabin, +to refresh myself after a fatigue which had been more intolerable, in a +quarter of a mile's passage from my coach to the ship, than I had before +undergone in a land-journey of twelve miles, which I had traveled with +the utmost expedition. + +This latter fatigue was, perhaps, somewhat heightened by an indignation +which I could not prevent arising in my mind. I think, upon my entrance +into the boat, I presented a spectacle of the highest horror. The total +loss of limbs was apparent to all who saw me, and my face contained +marks of a most diseased state, if not of death itself. Indeed, so +ghastly was my countenance, that timorous women with child had abstained +from my house, for fear of the ill consequences of looking at me. In +this condition I ran the gauntlope (so I think I may justly call it) +through rows of sailors and watermen, few of whom failed of paying their +compliments to me by all manner of insults and jests on my misery. No +man who knew me will think I conceived any personal resentment at this +behavior; but it was a lively picture of that cruelty and inhumanity +in the nature of men which I have often contemplated with concern, and +which leads the mind into a train of very uncomfortable and melancholy +thoughts. It may be said that this barbarous custom is peculiar to +the English, and of them only to the lowest degree; that it is an +excrescence of an uncontrolled licentiousness mistaken for liberty, and +never shows itself in men who are polished and refined in such manner +as human nature requires to produce that perfection of which it is +susceptible, and to purge away that malevolence of disposition of which, +at our birth, we partake in common with the savage creation. This may +be said, and this is all that can be said; and it is, I am afraid, but +little satisfactory to account for the inhumanity of those who, while +they boast of being made after God's own image, seem to bear in their +minds a resemblance of the vilest species of brutes; or rather, indeed, +of our idea of devils; for I don't know that any brutes can be taxed +with such malevolence. A sirloin of beef was now placed on the table, +for which, though little better than carrion, as much was charged by the +master of the little paltry ale-house who dressed it as would have been +demanded for all the elegance of the King's Arms, or any other polite +tavern or eating-house! for, indeed, the difference between the best +house and the worst is, that at the former you pay largely for luxury, +at the latter for nothing. + +Thursday, June 27.--This morning the captain, who lay on shore at his +own house, paid us a visit in the cabin, and behaved like an angry +bashaw, declaring that, had he known we were not to be pleased, he would +not have carried us for five hundred pounds. He added many asseverations +that he was a gentleman, and despised money; not forgetting several +hints of the presents which had been made him for his cabin, of twenty, +thirty, and forty guineas, by several gentlemen, over and above the sum +for which they had contracted. This behavior greatly surprised me, as I +knew not how to account for it, nothing having happened since we parted +from the captain the evening before in perfect good humor; and all this +broke forth on the first moment of his arrival this morning. He did +not, however, suffer my amazement to have any long continuance before +he clearly showed me that all this was meant only as an apology to +introduce another procrastination (being the fifth) of his weighing +anchor, which was now postponed till Saturday, for such was his will and +pleasure. + +Besides the disagreeable situation in which we then lay, in the confines +of Wapping and Rotherhithe, tasting a delicious mixture of the air of +both these sweet places, and enjoying the concord of sweet sounds of +seamen, watermen, fish-women, oyster-women, and of all the vociferous +inhabitants of both shores, composing altogether a greater variety of +harmony than Hogarth's imagination hath brought together in that print +of his, which is enough to make a man deaf to look at--I had a more +urgent cause to press our departure, which was, that the dropsy, for +which I had undergone three tappings, seemed to threaten me with a +fourth discharge before I should reach Lisbon, and when I should have +nobody on board capable of performing the operation; but I was obliged +to hearken to the voice of reason, if I may use the captain's own words, +and to rest myself contented. Indeed, there was no alternative within my +reach but what would have cost me much too dear. There are many evils +in society from which people of the highest rank are so entirely exempt, +that they have not the least knowledge or idea of them; nor indeed of +the characters which are formed by them. Such, for instance, is the +conveyance of goods and passengers from one place to another. Now there +is no such thing as any kind of knowledge contemptible in itself; and, +as the particular knowledge I here mean is entirely necessary to the +well understanding and well enjoying this journal; and, lastly, as in +this case the most ignorant will be those very readers whose amusement +we chiefly consult, and to whom we wish to be supposed principally to +write, we will here enter somewhat largely into the discussion of this +matter; the rather, for that no ancient or modern author (if we can +trust the catalogue of doctor Mead's library) hath ever undertaken it, +but that it seems (in the style of Don Quixote) a task reserved for my +pen alone. + +When I first conceived this intention I began to entertain thoughts of +inquiring into the antiquity of traveling; and, as many persons have +performed in this way (I mean have traveled) at the expense of the +public, I flattered myself that the spirit of improving arts and +sciences, and of advancing useful and substantial learning, which +so eminently distinguishes this age, and hath given rise to more +speculative societies in Europe than I at present can recollect the +names of--perhaps, indeed, than I or any other, besides their very near +neighbors, ever heard mentioned--would assist in promoting so curious +a work; a work begun with the same views, calculated for the same +purposes, and fitted for the same uses, with the labors which those +right honorable societies have so cheerfully undertaken themselves, +and encouraged in others; sometimes with the highest honors, even with +admission into their colleges, and with enrollment among their members. + +From these societies I promised myself all assistance in their power, +particularly the communication of such valuable manuscripts and records +as they must be supposed to have collected from those obscure ages +of antiquity when history yields us such imperfect accounts of the +residence, and much more imperfect of the travels, of the human race; +unless, perhaps, as a curious and learned member of the young Society +of Antiquarians is said to have hinted his conjectures, that their +residence and their travels were one and the same; and this discovery +(for such it seems to be) he is said to have owed to the lighting by +accident on a book, which we shall have occasion to mention presently, +the contents of which were then little known to the society. + +The king of Prussia, moreover, who, from a degree of benevolence +and taste which in either case is a rare production in so northern a +climate, is the great encourager of art and science, I was well assured +would promote so useful a design, and order his archives to be searched +on my behalf. But after well weighing all these advantages, and much +meditation on the order of my work, my whole design was subverted in a +moment by hearing of the discovery just mentioned to have been made by +the young antiquarian, who, from the most ancient record in the world +(though I don't find the society are all agreed on this point), one long +preceding the date of the earliest modern collections, either of books +or butterflies, none of which pretend to go beyond the flood, shows +us that the first man was a traveler, and that he and his family were +scarce settled in Paradise before they disliked their own home, and +became passengers to another place. Hence it appears that the humor of +traveling is as old as the human race, and that it was their curse from +the beginning. By this discovery my plan became much shortened, and +I found it only necessary to treat of the conveyance of goods and +passengers from place to place; which, not being universally known, +seemed proper to be explained before we examined into its original. +There are indeed two different ways of tracing all things used by the +historian and the antiquary; these are upwards and downwards. + +The former shows you how things are, and leaves to others to discover +when they began to be so. The latter shows you how things were, and +leaves their present existence to be examined by others. Hence the +former is more useful, the latter more curious. The former receives the +thanks of mankind; the latter of that valuable part, the virtuosi. + +In explaining, therefore, this mystery of carrying goods and passengers +from one place to another, hitherto so profound a secret to the very +best of our readers, we shall pursue the historical method, and endeavor +to show by what means it is at present performed, referring the more +curious inquiry either to some other pen or to some other opportunity. + +Now there are two general ways of performing (if God permit) this +conveyance, viz., by land and water, both of which have much variety; +that by land being performed in different vehicles, such as coaches, +caravans, wagons, etc.; and that by water in ships, barges, and boats, +of various sizes and denominations. But, as all these methods of +conveyance are formed on the same principles, they agree so well +together, that it is fully sufficient to comprehend them all in the +general view, without descending to such minute particulars as would +distinguish one method from another. + +Common to all of these is one general principle that, as the goods to be +conveyed are usually the larger, so they are to be chiefly considered in +the conveyance; the owner being indeed little more than an appendage to +his trunk, or box, or bale, or at best a small part of his own baggage, +very little care is to be taken in stowing or packing them up with +convenience to himself; for the conveyance is not of passengers and +goods, but of goods and passengers. + +Secondly, from this conveyance arises a new kind of relation, or rather +of subjection, in the society, by which the passenger becomes bound in +allegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is indeed only temporary +and local, but the most absolute during its continuance of any known in +Great Britain, and, to say truth, scarce consistent with the liberties +of a free people, nor could it be reconciled with them, did it not move +downwards; a circumstance universally apprehended to be incompatible +to all kinds of slavery; for Aristotle in his Politics hath proved +abundantly to my satisfaction that no men are born to be slaves, except +barbarians; and these only to such as are not themselves barbarians; and +indeed Mr. Montesquieu hath carried it very little farther in the case +of the Africans; the real truth being that no man is born to be a slave, +unless to him who is able to make him so. + +Thirdly, this subjection is absolute, and consists of a perfect +resignation both of body and soul to the disposal of another; after +which resignation, during a certain time, his subject retains no more +power over his own will than an Asiatic slave, or an English wife, by +the laws of both countries, and by the customs of one of them. If I +should mention the instance of a stage-coachman, many of my readers +would recognize the truth of what I have here observed; all, indeed, +that ever have been under the dominion of that tyrant, who in this free +country is as absolute as a Turkish bashaw. In two particulars only his +power is defective; he cannot press you into his service, and if you +enter yourself at one place, on condition of being discharged at a +certain time at another, he is obliged to perform his agreement, if +God permit, but all the intermediate time you are absolutely under his +government; he carries you how he will, when he will, and whither he +will, provided it be not much out of the road; you have nothing to eat +or to drink, but what, and when, and where he pleases. Nay, you cannot +sleep unless he pleases you should; for he will order you sometimes out +of bed at midnight and hurry you away at a moment's warning: indeed, if +you can sleep in his vehicle he cannot prevent it; nay, indeed, to +give him his due, this he is ordinarily disposed to encourage: for the +earlier he forces you to rise in the morning, the more time he will give +you in the heat of the day, sometimes even six hours at an ale-house, or +at their doors, where he always gives you the same indulgence which +he allows himself; and for this he is generally very moderate in his +demands. I have known a whole bundle of passengers charged no more than +half-a-crown for being suffered to remain quiet at an ale-house door for +above a whole hour, and that even in the hottest day in summer. But as +this kind of tyranny, though it hath escaped our political writers, +hath been I think touched by our dramatic, and is more trite among +the generality of readers; and as this and all other kinds of such +subjection are alike unknown to my friends, I will quit the passengers +by land, and treat of those who travel by water; for whatever is said on +this subject is applicable to both alike, and we may bring them together +as closely as they are brought in the liturgy, when they are recommended +to the prayers of all Christian congregations; and (which I have often +thought very remarkable) where they are joined with other miserable +wretches, such as women in labor, people in sickness, infants just born, +prisoners and captives. Goods and passengers are conveyed by water in +divers vehicles, the principal of which being a ship, it shall suffice +to mention that alone. Here the tyrant doth not derive his title, as the +stage-coachman doth, from the vehicle itself in which he stows his goods +and passengers, but he is called the captain--a word of such various +use and uncertain signification, that it seems very difficult to fix any +positive idea to it: if, indeed, there be any general meaning which may +comprehend all its different uses, that of the head or chief of any body +of men seems to be most capable of this comprehension; for whether they +be a company of soldiers, a crew of sailors, or a gang of rogues, he who +is at the head of them is always styled the captain. + +The particular tyrant whose fortune it was to stow us aboard laid a +farther claim to this appellation than the bare command of a vehicle of +conveyance. He had been the captain of a privateer, which he chose to +call being in the king's service, and thence derived a right of hoisting +the military ornament of a cockade over the button of his hat. He +likewise wore a sword of no ordinary length by his side, with which he +swaggered in his cabin, among the wretches his passengers, whom he had +stowed in cupboards on each side. He was a person of a very singular +character. He had taken it into his head that he was a gentleman, from +those very reasons that proved he was not one; and to show himself a +fine gentleman, by a behavior which seemed to insinuate he had never +seen one. He was, moreover, a man of gallantry; at the age of seventy +he had the finicalness of Sir Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly; +and, while he was deaf himself, had a voice capable of deafening all +others. + +Now, as I saw myself in danger by the delays of the captain, who was, in +reality, waiting for more freight, and as the wind had been long nested, +as it were, in the southwest, where it constantly blew hurricanes, I +began with great reason to apprehend that our voyage might be long, and +that my belly, which began already to be much extended, would require +the water to be let out at a time when no assistance was at hand; +though, indeed, the captain comforted me with assurances that he had +a pretty young fellow on board who acted as his surgeon, as I found he +likewise did as steward, cook, butler, sailor. In short, he had as +many offices as Scrub in the play, and went through them all with great +dexterity; this of surgeon was, perhaps, the only one in which his skill +was somewhat deficient, at least that branch of tapping for the dropsy; +for he very ingenuously and modestly confessed he had never seen the +operation performed, nor was possessed of that chirurgical instrument +with which it is performed. + +Friday, June 28.--By way of prevention, therefore, I this day sent for +my friend, Mr. Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomist of Covent-garden; +and, though my belly was not yet very full and tight, let out ten +quarts of water; the young sea-surgeon attended the operation, not as a +performer, but as a student. + +I was now eased of the greatest apprehension which I had from the length +of the passage; and I told the captain I was become indifferent as +to the time of his sailing. He expressed much satisfaction in this +declaration, and at hearing from me that I found myself, since my +tapping, much lighter and better. In this, I believe, he was sincere; +for he was, as we shall have occasion to observe more than once, a very +good-natured man; and, as he was a very brave one too, I found that the +heroic constancy with which I had borne an operation that is attended +with scarce any degree of pain had not a little raised me in his esteem. +That he might adhere, therefore, in the most religious and rigorous +manner to his word, when he had no longer any temptation from interest +to break it, as he had no longer any hopes of more goods or passengers, +he ordered his ship to fall down to Gravesend on Sunday morning, and +there to wait his arrival. + +Sunday, June 30.--Nothing worth notice passed till that morning, when +my poor wife, after passing a night in the utmost torments of the +toothache, resolved to have it drawn. I despatched therefore a servant +into Wapping to bring in haste the best tooth-drawer he could find. +He soon found out a female of great eminence in the art; but when he +brought her to the boat, at the waterside, they were informed that +the ship was gone; for indeed she had set out a few minutes after his +quitting her; nor did the pilot, who well knew the errand on which I had +sent my servant, think fit to wait a moment for his return, or to give +me any notice of his setting out, though I had very patiently attended +the delays of the captain four days, after many solemn promises of +weighing anchor every one of the three last. But of all the petty +bashaws or turbulent tyrants I ever beheld, this sour-faced pilot was +the worst tempered; for, during the time that he had the guidance of the +ship, which was till we arrived in the Downs, he complied with no one's +desires, nor did he give a civil word, or indeed a civil look, to any on +board. + +The tooth-drawer, who, as I said before, was one of great eminence among +her neighbors, refused to follow the ship; so that my man made himself +the best of his way, and with some difficulty came up with us before we +were got under full sail; for after that, as we had both wind and tide +with us, he would have found it impossible to overtake the ship till she +was come to an anchor at Gravesend. + +The morning was fair and bright, and we had a passage thither, I think, +as pleasant as can be conceived: for, take it with all its advantages, +particularly the number of fine ships you are always sure of seeing by +the way, there is nothing to equal it in all the rivers of the world. +The yards of Deptford and of Woolwich are noble sights, and give us a +just idea of the great perfection to which we are arrived in building +those floating castles, and the figure which we may always make in +Europe among the other maritime powers. That of Woolwich, at least, very +strongly imprinted this idea on my mind; for there was now on the stocks +there the Royal Anne, supposed to be the largest ship ever built, and +which contains ten carriage-guns more than had ever yet equipped a +first-rate. + +It is true, perhaps, that there is more of ostentation than of real +utility in ships of this vast and unwieldy burden, which are rarely +capable of acting against an enemy; but if the building such contributes +to preserve, among other nations, the notion of the British superiority +in naval affairs, the expense, though very great, is well incurred, and +the ostentation is laudable and truly political. Indeed, I should be +sorry to allow that Holland, France, or Spain, possessed a vessel larger +and more beautiful than the largest and most beautiful of ours; for this +honor I would always administer to the pride of our sailors, who should +challenge it from all their neighbors with truth and success. And sure I +am that not our honest tars alone, but every inhabitant of this island, +may exult in the comparison, when he considers the king of Great Britain +as a maritime prince, in opposition to any other prince in Europe; but +I am not so certain that the same idea of superiority will result from +comparing our land forces with those of many other crowned heads. In +numbers they all far exceed us, and in the goodness and splendor of +their troops many nations, particularly the Germans and French, and +perhaps the Dutch, cast us at a distance; for, however we may flatter +ourselves with the Edwards and Henrys of former ages, the change of the +whole art of war since those days, by which the advantage of personal +strength is in a manner entirely lost, hath produced a change in +military affairs to the advantage of our enemies. As for our successes +in later days, if they were not entirely owing to the superior genius +of our general, they were not a little due to the superior force of his +money. Indeed, if we should arraign marshal Saxe of ostentation when +he showed his army, drawn up, to our captive general, the day after the +battle of La Val, we cannot say that the ostentation was entirely vain; +since he certainly showed him an army which had not been often equaled, +either in the number or goodness of the troops, and which, in those +respects, so far exceeded ours, that none can ever cast any reflection +on the brave young prince who could not reap the laurels of conquest in +that day; but his retreat will be always mentioned as an addition to his +glory. + +In our marine the case is entirely the reverse, and it must be our own +fault if it doth not continue so; for continue so it will as long as the +flourishing state of our trade shall support it, and this support it can +never want till our legislature shall cease to give sufficient attention +to the protection of our trade, and our magistrates want sufficient +power, ability, and honesty, to execute the laws; a circumstance not +to be apprehended, as it cannot happen till our senates and our benches +shall be filled with the blindest ignorance, or with the blackest +corruption. + +Besides the ships in the docks, we saw many on the water: the yachts +are sights of great parade, and the king's body yacht is, I believe, +unequaled in any country for convenience as well as magnificence; +both which are consulted in building and equipping her with the most +exquisite art and workmanship. + +We saw likewise several Indiamen just returned from their voyage. + +These are, I believe, the largest and finest vessels which are anywhere +employed in commercial affairs. The colliers, likewise, which are very +numerous, and even assemble in fleets, are ships of great bulk; and if +we descend to those used in the American, African, and European trades, +and pass through those which visit our own coasts, to the small craft +that lie between Chatham and the Tower, the whole forms a most pleasing +object to the eye, as well as highly warming to the heart of an +Englishman who has any degree of love for his country, or can recognize +any effect of the patriot in his constitution. Lastly, the Royal +Hospital at Greenwich, which presents so delightful a front to the +water, and doth such honor at once to its builder and the nation, to +the great skill and ingenuity of the one, and to the no less sensible +gratitude of the other, very properly closes the account of this scene; +which may well appear romantic to those who have not themselves seen +that, in this one instance, truth and reality are capable, perhaps, of +exceeding the power of fiction. When we had passed by Greenwich we saw +only two or three gentlemen's houses, all of very moderate account, till +we reached Gravesend: these are all on the Kentish shore, which affords +a much dryer, wholesomer, and pleasanter situation, than doth that of +its opposite, Essex. This circumstance, I own, is somewhat surprising +to me, when I reflect on the numerous villas that crowd the river from +Chelsea upwards as far as Shepperton, where the narrower channel affords +not half so noble a prospect, and where the continual succession of +the small craft, like the frequent repetition of all things, which have +nothing in them great, beautiful, or admirable, tire the eye, and +give us distaste and aversion, instead of pleasure. With some of these +situations, such as Barnes, Mortlake, etc., even the shore of Essex +might contend, not upon very unequal terms; but on the Kentish borders +there are many spots to be chosen by the builder which might justly +claim the preference over almost the very finest of those in Middlesex +and Surrey. + +How shall we account for this depravity in taste? for surely there are +none so very mean and contemptible as to bring the pleasure of seeing +a number of little wherries, gliding along after one another, in +competition with what we enjoy in viewing a succession of ships, with +all their sails expanded to the winds, bounding over the waves before +us. + +And here I cannot pass by another observation on the deplorable want of +taste in our enjoyments, which we show by almost totally neglecting the +pursuit of what seems to me the highest degree of amusement; this is, +the sailing ourselves in little vessels of our own, contrived only for +our ease and accommodation, to which such situations of our villas as I +have recommended would be so convenient, and even necessary. + +This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed in any perfection, would be of +the expensive kind; but such expense would not exceed the reach of a +moderate fortune, and would fall very short of the prices which are +daily paid for pleasures of a far inferior rate. + +The truth, I believe, is, that sailing in the manner I have just +mentioned is a pleasure rather unknown, or unthought of, than rejected +by those who have experienced it; unless, perhaps, the apprehension of +danger or seasickness may be supposed, by the timorous and delicate, +to make too large deductions--insisting that all their enjoyments shall +come to them pure and unmixed, and being ever ready to cry out, + + ----Nocet empta dolore voluptas. + +This, however, was my present case; for the ease and lightness which I +felt from my tapping, the gayety of the morning, the pleasant sailing +with wind and tide, and the many agreeable objects with which I was +constantly entertained during the whole way, were all suppressed and +overcome by the single consideration of my wife's pain, which continued +incessantly to torment her till we came to an anchor, when I dispatched +a messenger in great haste for the best reputed operator in Gravesend. +A surgeon of some eminence now appeared, who did not decline +tooth-drawing, though he certainly would have been offended with the +appellation of tooth-drawer no less than his brethren, the members +of that venerable body, would be with that of barber, since the late +separation between those long-united companies, by which, if the +surgeons have gained much, the barbers are supposed to have lost very +little. This able and careful person (for so I sincerely believe he is) +after examining the guilty tooth, declared that it was such a rotten +shell, and so placed at the very remotest end of the upper jaw, where it +was in a manner covered and secured by a large fine firm tooth, that he +despaired of his power of drawing it. + +He said, indeed, more to my wife, and used more rhetoric to dissuade +her from having it drawn, than is generally employed to persuade +young ladies to prefer a pain of three moments to one of three months' +continuance, especially if those young ladies happen to be past forty +and fifty years of age, when, by submitting to support a racking +torment, the only good circumstance attending which is, it is so short +that scarce one in a thousand can cry out "I feel it," they are to do a +violence to their charms, and lose one of those beautiful holders with +which alone Sir Courtly Nice declares a lady can ever lay hold of his +heart. He said at last so much, and seemed to reason so justly, that I +came over to his side, and assisted him in prevailing on my wife (for it +was no easy matter) to resolve on keeping her tooth a little longer, and +to apply palliatives only for relief. These were opium applied to the +tooth, and blisters behind the ears. + +Whilst we were at dinner this day in the cabin, on a sudden the window +on one side was beat into the room with a crash as if a twenty-pounder +had been discharged among us. We were all alarmed at the suddenness of +the accident, for which, however, we were soon able to account, for the +sash, which was shivered all to pieces, was pursued into the middle +of the cabin by the bowsprit of a little ship called a cod-smack, the +master of which made us amends for running (carelessly at best) against +us, and injuring the ship, in the sea-way; that is to say, by damning us +all to hell, and uttering several pious wishes that it had done us much +more mischief. All which were answered in their own kind and phrase +by our men, between whom and the other crew a dialogue of oaths and +scurrility was carried on as long as they continued in each other's +hearing. + +It is difficult, I think, to assign a satisfactory reason why sailors in +general should, of all others, think themselves entirely discharged from +the common bands of humanity, and should seem to glory in the language +and behavior of savages! They see more of the world, and have, most of +them, a more erudite education than is the portion of landmen of their +degree. Nor do I believe that in any country they visit (Holland itself +not excepted) they can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on +the river Thames. Is it that they think true courage (for they are the +bravest fellows upon earth) inconsistent with all the gentleness of +a humane carriage, and that the contempt of civil order springs up +in minds but little cultivated, at the same time and from the same +principles with the contempt of danger and death? Is it--? in short, it +is so; and how it comes to be so I leave to form a question in the Robin +Hood Society, or to be propounded for solution among the enigmas in the +Woman's Almanac for the next year. + +Monday, July 1.--This day Mr. Welch took his leave of me after dinner, +as did a young lady of her sister, who was proceeding with my wife to +Lisbon. They both set out together in a post-chaise for London. Soon +after their departure our cabin, where my wife and I were sitting +together, was visited by two ruffians, whose appearance greatly +corresponded with that of the sheriffs, or rather the knight-marshal's +bailiffs. One of these especially, who seemed to affect a more than +ordinary degree of rudeness and insolence, came in without any kind of +ceremony, with a broad gold lace on his hat, which was cocked with much +military fierceness on his head. An inkhorn at his buttonhole and some +papers in his hand sufficiently assured me what he was, and I asked him +if he and his companion were not custom-house officers: he answered with +sufficient dignity that they were, as an information which he seemed +to conclude would strike the hearer with awe, and suppress all further +inquiry; but, on the contrary, I proceeded to ask of what rank he was +in the custom-house, and, receiving an answer from his companion, as I +remember, that the gentleman was a riding surveyor, I replied that he +might be a riding surveyor, but could be no gentleman, for that none who +had any title to that denomination would break into the presence of +a lady without an apology or even moving his hat. He then took his +covering from his head and laid it on the table, saying, he asked +pardon, and blamed the mate, who should, he said, have informed him if +any persons of distinction were below. I told him he might guess by our +appearance (which, perhaps, was rather more than could be said with the +strictest adherence to truth) that he was before a gentleman and lady, +which should teach him to be very civil in his behavior, though we +should not happen to be of that number whom the world calls people of +fashion and distinction. However, I said, that as he seemed sensible of +his error, and had asked pardon, the lady would permit him to put +his hat on again if he chose it. This he refused with some degree of +surliness, and failed not to convince me that, if I should condescend +to become more gentle, he would soon grow more rude. I now renewed a +reflection, which I have often seen occasion to make, that there is +nothing so incongruous in nature as any kind of power with lowness of +mind and of ability, and that there is nothing more deplorable than +the want of truth in the whimsical notion of Plato, who tells us that +"Saturn, well knowing the state of human affairs, gave us kings and +rulers, not of human but divine original; for, as we make not shepherds +of sheep, nor oxherds of oxen, nor goatherds of goats, but place some of +our own kind over all as being better and fitter to govern them; in +the same manner were demons by the divine love set over us as a race +of beings of a superior order to men, and who, with great ease to +themselves, might regulate our affairs and establish peace, modesty, +freedom, and justice, and, totally destroying all sedition, might +complete the happiness of the human race. So far, at least, may even now +be said with truth, that in all states which are under the government of +mere man, without any divine assistance, there is nothing but labor and +misery to be found. From what I have said, therefore, we may at least +learn, with our utmost endeavors, to imitate the Saturnian institution; +borrowing all assistance from our immortal part, while we pay to this +the strictest obedience, we should form both our private economy and +public policy from its dictates. By this dispensation of our immortal +minds we are to establish a law and to call it by that name. But if any +government be in the hands of a single person, of the few, or of the +many, and such governor or governors shall abandon himself or themselves +to the unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or desires, unable to +restrain any passion, but possessed with an insatiable bad disease; if +such shall attempt to govern, and at the same time to trample on all +laws, there can be no means of preservation left for the wretched +people." Plato de Leg., lib. iv. p. 713, c. 714, edit. Serrani. + +It is true that Plato is here treating of the highest or sovereign power +in a state, but it is as true that his observations are general and may +be applied to all inferior powers; and, indeed, every subordinate degree +is immediately derived from the highest; and, as it is equally protected +by the same force and sanctified by the same authority, is alike +dangerous to the well-being of the subject. Of all powers, perhaps, +there is none so sanctified and protected as this which is under +our present consideration. So numerous, indeed, and strong, are the +sanctions given to it by many acts of parliament, that, having once +established the laws of customs on merchandise, it seems to have been +the sole view of the legislature to strengthen the hands and to protect +the persons of the officers who became established by those laws, +many of whom are so far from bearing any resemblance to the Saturnian +institution, and to be chosen from a degree of beings superior to the +rest of human race, that they sometimes seem industriously picked out of +the lowest and vilest orders of mankind. There is, indeed, nothing, so +useful to man in general, nor so beneficial to particular societies and +individuals, as trade. This is that alma mater at whose plentiful breast +all mankind are nourished. It is true, like other parents, she is not +always equally indulgent to all her children, but, though she gives to +her favorites a vast proportion of redundancy and superfluity, there are +very few whom she refuses to supply with the conveniences, and none with +the necessaries, of life. + +Such a benefactress as this must naturally be beloved by mankind in +general; it would be wonderful, therefore, if her interest was not +considered by them, and protected from the fraud and violence of some +of her rebellious offspring, who, coveting more than their share or more +than she thinks proper to allow them, are daily employed in meditating +mischief against her, and in endeavoring to steal from their brethren +those shares which this great alma mater had allowed them. + +At length our governor came on board, and about six in the evening +we weighed anchor, and fell down to the Nore, whither our passage was +extremely pleasant, the evening being very delightful, the moon just +past the full, and both wind and tide favorable to us. + +Tuesday, July 2.--This morning we again set sail, under all the +advantages we had enjoyed the evening before. This day we left the +shore of Essex and coasted along Kent, passing by the pleasant island of +Thanet, which is an island, and that of Sheppy, which is not an island, +and about three o 'clock, the wind being now full in our teeth, we came +to an anchor in the Downs, within two miles of Deal.--My wife, having +suffered intolerable pain from her tooth, again renewed her resolution +of having it drawn, and another surgeon was sent for from Deal, but with +no better success than the former. He likewise declined the operation, +for the same reason which had been assigned by the former: however, such +was her resolution, backed with pain, that he was obliged to make the +attempt, which concluded more in honor of his judgment than of his +operation; for, after having put my poor wife to inexpressible torment, +he was obliged to leave her tooth in statu quo; and she had now the +comfortable prospect of a long fit of pain, which might have lasted +her whole voyage, without any possibility of relief. In these pleasing +sensations, of which I had my just share, nature, overcome with fatigue, +about eight in the evening resigned her to rest--a circumstance which +would have given me some happiness, could I have known how to employ +those spirits which were raised by it; but, unfortunately for me, I +was left in a disposition of enjoying an agreeable hour without the +assistance of a companion, which has always appeared to me necessary to +such enjoyment; my daughter and her companion were both retired sea-sick +to bed; the other passengers were a rude school-boy of fourteen years +old and an illiterate Portuguese friar, who understood no language but +his own, in which I had not the least smattering. The captain was the +only person left in whose conversation I might indulge myself; but +unluckily, besides a total ignorance of everything in the world but a +ship, he had the misfortune of being so deaf, that to make him hear, I +will not say understand, my words, I must run the risk of conveying them +to the ears of my wife, who, though in another room (called, I think, +the state-room--being, indeed, a most stately apartment, capable of +containing one human body in length, if not very tall, and three bodies +in breadth), lay asleep within a yard of me. In this situation necessity +and choice were one and the same thing; the captain and I sat down +together to a small bowl of punch, over which we both soon fell fast +asleep, and so concluded the evening. + +Wednesday, July 3.--This morning I awaked at four o'clock for my +distemper seldom suffered me to sleep later. I presently got up, and had +the pleasure of enjoying the sight of a tempestuous sea for four hours +before the captain was stirring; for he loved to indulge himself in +morning slumbers, which were attended with a wind-music, much more +agreeable to the performers than to the hearers, especially such as +have, as I had, the privilege of sitting in the orchestra. At eight o +'clock the captain rose, and sent his boat on shore. I ordered my +man likewise to go in it, as my distemper was not of that kind which +entirely deprives us of appetite. Now, though the captain had well +victualled his ship with all manner of salt provisions for the voyage, +and had added great quantities of fresh stores, particularly of +vegetables, at Gravesend, such as beans and peas, which had been on +board only two days, and had possibly not been gathered above two more, +I apprehended I could provide better for myself at Deal than the ship's +ordinary seemed to promise. I accordingly sent for fresh provisions of +all kinds from the shore, in order to put off the evil day of starving +as long as possible. My man returned with most of the articles I sent +for, and I now thought myself in a condition of living a week on my own +provisions. I therefore ordered my own dinner, which I wanted nothing +but a cook to dress and a proper fire to dress it at; but those were +not to be had, nor indeed any addition to my roast mutton, except the +pleasure of the captain's company, with that of the other passengers; +for my wife continued the whole day in a state of dozing, and my other +females, whose sickness did not abate by the rolling of the ship at +anchor, seemed more inclined to empty their stomachs than to fill them. +Thus I passed the whole day (except about an hour at dinner) by myself, +and the evening concluded with the captain as the preceding one had +done; one comfortable piece of news he communicated to me, which was, +that he had no doubt of a prosperous wind in the morning; but as he did +not divulge the reasons of this confidence, and as I saw none myself +besides the wind being directly opposite, my faith in this prophecy was +not strong enough to build any great hopes upon. + +Thursday, July 4.--This morning, however, the captain seemed resolved +to fulfill his own predictions, whether the wind would or no; he +accordingly weighed anchor, and, taking the advantage of the tide when +the wind was not very boisterous, he hoisted his sails; and, as if his +power had been no less absolute over Aeolus than it was over Neptune, he +forced the wind to blow him on in its own despite. + +But as all men who have ever been at sea well know how weak such +attempts are, and want no authorities of Scripture to prove that the +most absolute power of a captain of a ship is very contemptible in the +wind's eye, so did it befall our noble commander, who, having struggled +with the wind three or four hours, was obliged to give over, and lost +in a few minutes all that he had been so long a-gaining; in short, +we returned to our former station, and once more cast anchor in the +neighborhood of Deal. + +Here, though we lay near the shore, that we might promise ourselves +all the emolument which could be derived from it, we found ourselves +deceived; and that we might with as much conveniency be out of the sight +of land; for, except when the captain launched forth his own boat, which +he did always with great reluctance, we were incapable of procuring +anything from Deal, but at a price too exorbitant, and beyond the reach +even of modern luxury--the fare of a boat from Deal, which lay at two +miles' distance, being at least three half-crowns, and, if we had been +in any distress for it, as many half-guineas; for these good people +consider the sea as a large common appendant to their manor; in which +when they find any of their fellow-creatures impounded, they conclude +that they have a full right of making them pay at their own discretion +for their deliverance: to say the truth, whether it be that men who live +on the sea-shore are of an amphibious kind, and do not entirely partake +of human nature, or whatever else may be the reason, they are so far +from taking any share in the distresses of mankind, or of being moved +with any compassion for them, that they look upon them as blessings +showered down from above, and which the more they improve to their +own use, the greater is their gratitude and piety. Thus at Gravesend +a sculler requires a shilling for going less way than he would row in +London for threepence; and at Deal a boat often brings more profit in a +day than it can produce in London in a week, or perhaps in a month; in +both places the owner of the boat founds his demand on the necessity +and distress of one who stands more or less in absolute want of +his assistance, and with the urgency of these always rises in the +exorbitancy of his demand, without ever considering that, from these +very circumstances, the power or ease of gratifying such demand is in +like proportion lessened. Now, as I am unwilling that some conclusions, +which may be, I am aware, too justly drawn from these observations, +should be imputed to human nature in general, I have endeavored to +account for them in a way more consistent with the goodness and dignity +of that nature. However it be, it seems a little to reflect on the +governors of such monsters that they do not take some means to restrain +these impositions, and prevent them from triumphing any longer in +the miseries of those who are, in many circumstances at least, their +fellow-creatures, and considering the distresses of a wretched seaman, +from his being wrecked to his being barely windbound, as a blessing sent +among them from above, and calling it by that blasphemous name. + +Friday, July 5.--This day I sent a servant on board a man-of-war that +was stationed here, with my compliments to the captain, to represent to +him the distress of the ladies, and to desire the favor of his long-boat +to conduct us to Dover, at about seven miles' distance; and at the same +time presumed to make use of a great lady's name, the wife of the first +lord commissioner of the admiralty, who would, I told him, be pleased +with any kindness shown by him towards us in our miserable condition. +And this I am convinced was true, from the humanity of the lady, though +she was entirely unknown to me. + +The captain returned a verbal answer to a long letter acquainting me +that what I desired could not be complied with, it being a favor not in +his power to grant. This might be, and I suppose was, true; but it is +as true that, if he was able to write, and had pen, ink, and paper on +board, he might have sent a written answer, and that it was the part of +a gentleman so to have done; but this is a character seldom maintained +on the watery element, especially by those who exercise any power on it. +Every commander of a vessel here seems to think himself entirely free +from all those rules of decency and civility which direct and restrain +the conduct of the members of a society on shore; and each, claiming +absolute dominion in his little wooden world, rules by his own laws and +his own discretion. I do not, indeed, know so pregnant an instance +of the dangerous consequences of absolute power, and its aptness to +intoxicate the mind, as that of those petty tyrants, who become such in +a moment, from very well-disposed and social members of that communion +in which they affect no superiority, but live in an orderly state of +legal subjection with their fellow-citizens. + +Saturday, July 6.--This morning our commander, declaring he was sure the +wind would change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide, and weighed +his anchor. His assurance, however, had the same completion, and his +endeavors the same success, with his formal trial; and he was soon +obliged to return once more to his old quarters. Just before we let go +our anchor, a small sloop, rather than submit to yield us an inch of +way, ran foul of our ship, and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinate +frolic would have cost those aboard the sloop very dear, if our +steersman had not been too generous to exert his superiority, the +certain consequence of which would have been the immediate sinking +of the other. This contention of the inferior with a might capable of +crushing it in an instant may seem to argue no small share of folly +or madness, as well as of impudence; but I am convinced there is very +little danger in it: contempt is a port to which the pride of man +submits to fly with reluctance, but those who are within it are always +in a place of the most assured security; for whosoever throws away his +sword prefers, indeed, a less honorable but much safer means of avoiding +danger than he who defends himself with it. And here we shall offer +another distinction, of the truth of which much reading and experience +have well convinced us, that as in the most absolute governments there +is a regular progression of slavery downwards, from the top to the +bottom, the mischief of which is seldom felt with any great force and +bitterness but by the next immediate degree; so in the most dissolute +and anarchical states there is as regular an ascent of what is called +rank or condition, which is always laying hold of the head of him who is +advanced but one step higher on the ladder, who might, if he did not too +much despise such efforts, kick his pursuer headlong to the bottom. We +will conclude this digression with one general and short observation, +which will, perhaps, set the whole matter in a clearer light than the +longest and most labored harangue. Whereas envy of all things most +exposes us to danger from others, so contempt of all things best secures +us from them. And thus, while the dung-cart and the sloop are always +meditating mischief against the coach and the ship, and throwing +themselves designedly in their way, the latter consider only their own +security, and are not ashamed to break the road and let the other pass +by them. + +Monday, July 8.--Having passed our Sunday without anything remarkable, +unless the catching a great number of whitings in the afternoon may +be thought so, we now set sail on Monday at six o'clock, with a little +variation of wind; but this was so very little, and the breeze itself so +small, but the tide was our best and indeed almost our only friend. This +conducted us along the short remainder of the Kentish shore. Here +we passed that cliff of Dover which makes so tremendous a figure +in Shakespeare, and which whoever reads without being giddy, must, +according to Mr. Addison's observation, have either a very good head or +a very bad, one; but which, whoever contracts any such ideas from the +sight of, must have at least a poetic if not a Shakesperian genius. +In truth, mountains, rivers, heroes, and gods owe great part of their +existence to the poets; and Greece and Italy do so plentifully abound +in the former, because they furnish so glorious a number of the latter; +who, while they bestowed immortality on every little hillock and blind +stream, left the noblest rivers and mountains in the world to share the +same obscurity with the eastern and western poets, in which they +are celebrated. This evening we beat the sea of Sussex in sight of +Dungeness, with much more pleasure than progress; for the weather was +almost a perfect calm, and the moon, which was almost at the full, +scarce suffered a single cloud to veil her from our sight. + +Tuesday, Wednesday, July 9, 10.--These two days we had much the same +fine weather, and made much the same way; but in the evening of the +latter day a pretty fresh gale sprung up at N.N.W., which brought us by +the morning in sight of the Isle of Wight. + +Thursday, July 11.--This gale continued till towards noon; when the east +end of the island bore but little ahead of us. The captain swaggered and +declared he would keep the sea; but the wind got the better of him, so +that about three he gave up the victory, and making a sudden tack stood +in for the shore, passed by Spithead and Portsmouth, and came to an +anchor at a place called Ryde on the island. + +A most tragical incident fell out this day at sea. While the ship was +under sail, but making as will appear no great way, a kitten, one of +four of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, fell from the window into +the water: an alarm was immediately given to the captain, who was then +upon deck, and received it with the utmost concern and many bitter +oaths. He immediately gave orders to the steersman in favor of the poor +thing, as he called it; the sails were instantly slackened, and all +hands, as the phrase is, employed to recover the poor animal. I was, +I own, extremely surprised at all this; less indeed at the captain's +extreme tenderness than at his conceiving any possibility of success; +for if puss had had nine thousand instead of nine lives, I concluded +they had been all lost. The boatswain, however, had more sanguine hopes, +for, having stripped himself of his jacket, breeches, and shirt, he +leaped boldly into the water, and to my great astonishment in a few +minutes returned to the ship, bearing the motionless animal in his +mouth. Nor was this, I observed, a matter of such great difficulty as +it appeared to my ignorance, and possibly may seem to that of my +fresh-water reader. The kitten was now exposed to air and sun on the +deck, where its life, of which it retained no symptoms, was despaired of +by all. + +The captain's humanity, if I may so call it, did not so totally destroy +his philosophy as to make him yield himself up to affliction on this +melancholy occasion. Having felt his loss like a man, he resolved to +show he could bear it like one; and, having declared he had rather have +lost a cask of rum or brandy, betook himself to threshing at backgammon +with the Portuguese friar, in which innocent amusement they had passed +about two-thirds of their time. + +But as I have, perhaps, a little too wantonly endeavored to raise the +tender passions of my readers in this narrative, I should think myself +unpardonable if I concluded it without giving them the satisfaction of +hearing that the kitten at last recovered, to the great joy of the good +captain, but to the great disappointment of some of the sailors, who +asserted that the drowning a cat was the very surest way of raising a +favorable wind; a supposition of which, though we have heard several +plausible accounts, we will not presume to assign the true original +reason. + +Friday, July 12.--This day our ladies went ashore at Ryde, and drank +their afternoon tea at an ale-house there with great satisfaction: here +they were regaled with fresh cream, to which they had been strangers +since they left the Downs. + +Saturday, July 13.--The wind seeming likely to continue in the same +corner where it had been almost constantly for two months together, I +was persuaded by my wife to go ashore and stay at Ryde till we sailed. +I approved the motion much; for though I am a great lover of the sea, +I now fancied there was more pleasure in breathing the fresh air of the +land; but how to get thither was the question; for, being really that +dead luggage which I considered all passengers to be in the beginning +of this narrative, and incapable of any bodily motion without external +impulse, it was in vain to leave the ship, or to determine to do it, +without the assistance of others. In one instance, perhaps, the living, +luggage is more difficult to be moved or removed than an equal or much +superior weight of dead matter; which, if of the brittle kind, may +indeed be liable to be broken through negligence; but this, by proper +care, may be almost certainly prevented; whereas the fractures to which +the living lumps are exposed are sometimes by no caution avoidable, and +often by no art to be amended. + +I was deliberating on the means of conveyance, not so much out of the +ship to the boat as out of a little tottering boat to the land; a matter +which, as I had already experienced in the Thames, was not extremely +easy, when to be performed by any other limbs than your own. Whilst I +weighed all that could suggest itself on this head, without strictly +examining the merit of the several schemes which were advanced by the +captain and sailors, and, indeed, giving no very deep attention even to +my wife, who, as well as her friend and my daughter, were exerting their +tender concern for my ease and safety, Fortune, for I am convinced she +had a hand in it, sent me a present of a buck; a present welcome enough +of itself, but more welcome on account of the vessel in which it came, +being a large hoy, which in some places would pass for a ship, and many +people would go some miles to see the sight. + +I was pretty easily conveyed on board this hoy; but to get from hence +to the shore was not so easy a task; for, however strange it may appear, +the water itself did not extend so far; an instance which seems to +explain those lines of Ovid, + + Omnia pontus erant, deerant quoque littora ponto, + +in a less tautological sense than hath generally been imputed to them. + +In fact, between the sea and the shore there was, at low water, an +impassable gulf, if I may so call it, of deep mud, which could neither +be traversed by walking nor swimming; so that for near one half of the +twenty-four hours Ryde was inaccessible by friend or foe. But as the +magistrates of this place seemed more to desire the company of the +former than to fear that of the latter, they had begun to make a small +causeway to the low-water mark, so that foot passengers might land +whenever they pleased; but as this work was of a public kind, and +would have cost a large sum of money, at least ten pounds, and +the magistrates, that is to say, the churchwardens, the overseers, +constable, and tithingman, and the principal inhabitants, had every +one of them some separate scheme of private interest to advance at the +expense of the public, they fell out among themselves; and, after having +thrown away one half of the requisite sum, resolved at least to save the +other half, and rather be contented to sit down losers themselves than +to enjoy any benefit which might bring in a greater profit to another. +Thus that unanimity which is so necessary in all public affairs became +wanting, and every man, from the fear of being a bubble to another, was, +in reality, a bubble to himself. + +However, as there is scarce any difficulty to which the strength of men, +assisted with the cunning of art, is not equal, I was at last hoisted +into a small boat, and being rowed pretty near the shore, was taken up +by two sailors, who waded with me through the mud, and placed me in a +chair on the land, whence they afterwards conveyed me a quarter of a +mile farther, and brought me to a house which seemed to bid the fairest +for hospitality of any in Ryde. + +We brought with us our provisions from the ship, so that we wanted +nothing but a fire to dress our dinner, and a room in which we might eat +it. In neither of these had we any reason to apprehend a disappointment, +our dinner consisting only of beans and bacon; and the worst apartment +in his majesty's dominions, either at home or abroad, being fully +sufficient to answer our present ideas of delicacy. + +Unluckily, however, we were disappointed in both; for when we arrived +about four at our inn, exulting in the hopes of immediately seeing our +beans smoking on the table, we had the mortification of seeing them on +the table indeed, but without that circumstance which would have made +the sight agreeable, being in the same state in which we had dispatched +them from our ship. In excuse for this delay, though we had exceeded, +almost purposely, the time appointed, and our provision had arrived +three hours before, the mistress of the house acquainted us that it was +not for want of time to dress them that they were not ready, but for +fear of their being cold or over-done before we should come; which she +assured us was much worse than waiting a few minutes for our dinner; an +observation so very just, that it is impossible to find any objection +in it; but, indeed, it was not altogether so proper at this time, for we +had given the most absolute orders to have them ready at four, and +had been ourselves, not without much care and difficulty, most +exactly punctual in keeping to the very minute of our appointment. +But tradesmen, inn-keepers, and servants, never care to indulge us in +matters contrary to our true interest, which they always know better +than ourselves; nor can any bribes corrupt them to go out of their way +while they are consulting our good in our own despite. + +Our disappointment in the other particular, in defiance of our humility, +as it was more extraordinary, was more provoking. In short, Mrs. +Francis (for that was the name of the good woman of the house) no sooner +received the news of our intended arrival than she considered more the +gentility than the humanity of her guests, and applied herself not to +that which kindles but to that which extinguishes fire, and, forgetting +to put on her pot, fell to washing her house. + +As the messenger who had brought my venison was impatient to be +dispatched, I ordered it to be brought and laid on the table in the room +where I was seated; and the table not being large enough, one side, and +that a very bloody one, was laid on the brick floor. I then ordered Mrs. +Francis to be called in, in order to give her instructions concerning +it; in particular, what I would have roasted and what baked; concluding +that she would be highly pleased with the prospect of so much money +being spent in her house as she might have now reason to expect, if +the wind continued only a few days longer to blow from the same points +whence it had blown for several weeks past. + +I soon saw good cause, I must confess, to despise my own sagacity. Mrs. +Francis, having received her orders, without making any answer, snatched +the side from the floor, which remained stained with blood, and, bidding +a servant to take up that on the table, left the room with no pleasant +countenance, muttering to herself that, "had she known the litter which +was to have been made, she would not have taken such pains to wash her +house that morning. If this was gentility, much good may it do such +gentlefolks; for her part she had no notion of it." From these murmurs +I received two hints. The one, that it was not from a mistake of +our inclination that the good woman had starved us, but from wisely +consulting her own dignity, or rather perhaps her vanity, to which our +hunger was offered up as a sacrifice. The other, that I was now sitting +in a damp room, a circumstance, though it had hitherto escaped my notice +from the color of the bricks, which was by no means to be neglected in a +valetudinary state. + +My wife, who, besides discharging excellently well her own and all +the tender offices becoming the female character; who, besides being +a faithful friend, an amiable companion, and a tender nurse, could +likewise supply the wants of a decrepit husband, and occasionally +perform his part, had, before this, discovered the immoderate attention +to neatness in Mrs. Francis, and provided against its ill consequences. +She had found, though not under the same roof, a very snug apartment +belonging to Mr. Francis, and which had escaped the mop by his wife's +being satisfied it could not possibly be visited by gentle-folks. This +was a dry, warm, oaken-floored barn, lined on both sides with wheaten +straw, and opening at one end into a green field and a beautiful +prospect. Here, without hesitation, she ordered the cloth to be laid, +and came hastily to snatch me from worse perils by water than the common +dangers of the sea. + +Mrs. Francis, who could not trust her own ears, or could not believe a +footman in so extraordinary a phenomenon, followed my wife, and asked +her if she had indeed ordered the cloth to be laid in the barn? She +answered in the affirmative; upon which Mrs. Francis declared she would +not dispute her pleasure, but it was the first time she believed that +quality had ever preferred a barn to a house. She showed at the same +time the most pregnant marks of contempt, and again lamented the labor +she had undergone, through her ignorance of the absurd taste of her +guests. + +At length we were seated in one of the most pleasant spots I believe in +the kingdom, and were regaled with our beans and bacon, in which there +was nothing deficient but the quantity. This defect was however so +deplorable that we had consumed our whole dish before we had visibly +lessened our hunger. We now waited with impatience the arrival of our +second course, which necessity, and not luxury, had dictated. This was +a joint of mutton which Mrs. Francis had been ordered to provide; but +when, being tired with expectation, we ordered our servants TO SEE FOR +SOMETHING ELSE, we were informed that there was nothing else; on which +Mrs. Francis, being summoned, declared there was no such thing as mutton +to be had at Ryde. When I expressed some astonishment at their having no +butcher in a village so situated, she answered they had a very good one, +and one that killed all sorts of meat in season, beef two or three times +a year, and mutton the whole year round; but that, it being then beans +and peas time, he killed no meat, by reason he was not sure of selling +it. This she had not thought worthy of communication, any more than that +there lived a fisherman at next door, who was then provided with plenty +of soles, and whitings, and lobsters, far superior to those which adorn +a city feast. This discovery being made by accident, we completed the +best, the pleasantest, and the merriest meal, with more appetite, +more real solid luxury, and more festivity, than was ever seen in an +entertainment at White's. + +It may be wondered at, perhaps, that Mrs. Francis should be so negligent +of providing for her guests, as she may seem to be thus inattentive +to her own interest; but this was not the case; for, having clapped a +poll-tax on our heads at our arrival, and determined at what price to +discharge our bodies from her house, the less she suffered any other to +share in the levy the clearer it came into her own pocket; and that +it was better to get twelve pence in a shilling than ten pence, which +latter would be the case if she afforded us fish at any rate. + +Thus we passed a most agreeable day owing to good appetites and good +humor; two hearty feeders which will devour with satisfaction whatever +food you place before them; whereas, without these, the elegance of St. +James's, the charde, the perigord-pie, or the ortolan, the venison, the +turtle, or the custard, may titillate the throat, but will never convey +happiness to the heart or cheerfulness to the countenance. + +As the wind appeared still immovable, my wife proposed my lying on +shore. I presently agreed, though in defiance of an act of parliament, +by which persons wandering abroad and lodging in ale-houses are +decreed to be rogues and vagabonds; and this too after having been very +singularly officious in putting that law in execution. My wife, having +reconnoitered the house, reported that there was one room in which +were two beds. It was concluded, therefore, that she and Harriot should +occupy one and myself take possession of the other. She added likewise +an ingenious recommendation of this room to one who had so long been in +a cabin, which it exactly resembled, as it was sunk down with age on one +side, and was in the form of a ship with gunwales too. + +For my own part, I make little doubt but this apartment was an ancient +temple, built with the materials of a wreck, and probably dedicated to +Neptune in honor of THE BLESSING sent by him to the inhabitants; such +blessings having in all ages been very common to them. The timber +employed in it confirms this opinion, being such as is seldom used by +ally but ship-builders. I do not find indeed any mention of this matter +in Hearn; but perhaps its antiquity was too modern to deserve his +notice. Certain it is that this island of Wight was not an early convert +to Christianity; nay, there is some reason to doubt whether it was ever +entirely converted. But I have only time to touch slightly on things +of this kind, which, luckily for us, we have a society whose peculiar +profession it is to discuss and develop. + +Sunday, July 19.--This morning early I summoned Mrs. Francis, in order +to pay her the preceding day's account. As I could recollect only two +or three articles I thought there was no necessity of pen and ink. In +a single instance only we had exceeded what the law allows gratis to a +foot-soldier on his march, viz., vinegar, salt, etc., and dressing his +meat. I found, however, I was mistaken in my calculation; for when the +good woman attended with her bill it contained as follows:-- + + L. s. d. + + Bread and beer 0 2 4 + + Wind 0 2 0 + + Rum 0 2 0 + + Dressing dinner 0 3 0 + + Tea 0 1 6 + + Firing 0 1 0 + + Lodging 0 1 6 + Servants' lodging 0 0 6 + + ----------------- + + L 0 13 10 + +Now that five people and two servants should live a day and night at a +public-house for so small a sum will appear incredible to any person in +London above the degree of a chimney-sweeper; but more astonishing will +it seem that these people should remain so long at such a house without +tasting any other delicacy than bread, small beer, a teacupful of +milk called cream, a glass of rum converted into punch by their own +materials, and one bottle of wind, of which we only tasted a single +glass though possibly, indeed, our servants drank the remainder of the +bottle. + +This wind is a liquor of English manufacture, and its flavor is thought +very delicious by the generality of the English, who drink it in great +quantities. Every seventh year is thought to produce as much as the +other six. It is then drank so plentifully that the whole nation are +in a manner intoxicated by it; and consequently very little business is +carried on at that season. It resembles in color the red wine which is +imported from Portugal, as it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, +and from this agreement in the orthography, the one is often confounded +with the other, though both are seldom esteemed by the same person. It +is to be had in every parish of the kingdom, and a pretty large quantity +is consumed in the metropolis, where several taverns are set apart +solely for the vendition of this liquor, the masters never dealing +in any other. The disagreement in our computation produced some small +remonstrance to Mrs. Francis on my side; but this received an immediate +answer: "She scorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always +frequented by the very best gentry of the island; and she had never had +a bill found fault with in her life, though she had lived upwards of +forty years in the house, and within that time the greatest gentry in +Hampshire had been at it; and that lawyer Willis never went to any +other when he came to those parts. That for her part she did not get her +livelihood by travelers, who were gone and away, and she never expected +to see them more, but that her neighbors might come again; wherefore, to +be sure, they had the only right to complain." + +She was proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed likely +to stretch the discourse to an immoderate length, when I suddenly cut +all short by paying the bill. + +This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from curiosity +than religion; they were attended by the captain in a most military +attire, with his cockade in his hat and his sword by his side. So +unusual an appearance in this little chapel drew the attention of all +present, and probably disconcerted the women, who were in dishabille, +and wished themselves dressed, for the sake of the curate, who was the +greatest of their beholders. While I was left alone I received a visit +from Mr. Francis himself, who was much more considerable as a farmer +than as an inn-holder. Indeed, he left the latter entirely to the care +of his wife, and he acted wisely, I believe, in so doing. As nothing +more remarkable passed on this day I will close it with the account of +these two characters, as far as a few days' residence could inform me of +them. If they should appear as new to the reader as they did to me, he +will not be displeased at finding them here. This amiable couple seemed +to border hard on their grand climacteric; nor indeed were they shy of +owning enough to fix their ages within a year or two of that time. They +appeared to be rather proud of having employed their time well than +ashamed of having lived so long; the only reason which I could ever +assign why some fine ladies, and fine gentlemen too, should desire to +be thought younger than they really are by the contemporaries of their +grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too hastily credit appearances, might +doubt whether they had made so good a use of their time as I would +insinuate, since there was no appearance of anything but poverty, want, +and wretchedness, about their house; nor could they produce anything +to a customer in exchange for his money but a few bottles of wind, and +spirituous liquors, and some very bad ale, to drink; with rusty bacon +and worse cheese to eat. But then it should be considered, on the other +side, that whatever they received was almost as entirely clear profit as +the blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn being the very reverse of a +coffee-house; for here you can neither sit for nothing nor have anything +for your money. + +Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the marks of +antiquity visible. Scarce anything was to be seen which had not some +scar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an utensil, it was manifest, +had been purchased within a dozen years last past; so that whatever +money had come into the house during that period at least must have +remained in it, unless it had been sent abroad for food, or other +perishable commodities; but these were supplied by a small portion of +the fruits of the farm, in which the farmer allowed he had a very good +bargain. In fact, it is inconceivable what sums may be collected by +starving only, and how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will but +be contented to live miserable. + +Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as some +apprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of his +cheerfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the contrary; and so +did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature, had a plump, round face, +with a kind of smile on it, and seemed to borrow an air of wretchedness +rather from his coat's age than from his own. + +The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more than any +possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember to have seen any +caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot, or in any other modern +writer or regimen. + +Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the learned Dr. James's +Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is a very common +food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not long since +very liberally entertained with it by the present attorney and other +eminent lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and were all made horribly sick +by it. + +But though it should not be found among our English physical writers, +we may be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks; for nothing +considerable in nature escapes their notice, though many things +considerable in them, it is to be feared, have escaped the notice of +their readers. The Greeks, then, to all such as feed too voraciously +on this diet, give the name of HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, I +suppose, translate MEN THAT EAT THEMSELVES. + +As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food, so +nothing is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only cheap +thing the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish might produce +this disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the same aversion in a +people of Ethiopia to the same cause; he calls them the fish-eaters, +and asserts that they cannot be brought to eat a single meal with the +Heautofagi by any persuasion, threat, or violence whatever, not even +though they should kill their children before their faces. + +What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting this +matter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple mistake, arising +from a very excusable ignorance; that the passions of men are capable of +swallowing food as well as their appetites; that the former, in feeding, +resemble the state of those animals who chew the cud; and therefore, +such men, in some sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as it +were to devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a meager aspect and +thin habit of body, as surely as from what is called a consumption. Our +farmer was one of these. He had no more passion than an Ichthuofagus or +Ethiopian fisher. He wished not for anything, thought not of anything; +indeed, he scarce did anything or said anything. Here I cannot be +understood strictly; for then I must describe a nonentity, whereas I +would rob him of nothing but that free agency which is the cause of all +the corruption and of all the misery of human nature. No man, indeed, +ever did more than the farmer, for he was an absolute slave to labor +all the week; but in truth, as my sagacious reader must have at first +apprehended, when I said he resigned the care of the house to his wife, +I meant more than I then expressed, even the house and all that belonged +to it; for he was really a farmer only under the direction of his wife. +In a word, so composed, so serene, so placid a countenance, I never saw; +and he satisfied himself by answering to every question he was asked, "I +don't know anything about it, sir; I leaves all that to my wife." + +Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil, have made +no composition in life, and for want of all savor must have palled every +taste; nature or fortune, or both of them, took care to provide a proper +quantity of acid in the materials that formed the wife, and to render +her a perfect helpmate for so tranquil a husband. She abounded in +whatsoever he was defective; that is to say, in almost everything. She +was indeed as vinegar to oil, or a brisk wind to a standing-pool, and +preserved all from stagnation and corruption. + +Quin the player, on taking a nice and severe survey of a +fellow-comedian, burst forth into this exclamation:--"If that fellow be +not a rogue, God Almighty doth not write a legible hand." + +Whether he guessed right or no is not worth my while to examine; certain +it is that the latter, having wrought his features into a proper harmony +to become the characters of Iago, Shylock, and others of the same cast, +gave us a semblance of truth to the observation that was sufficient +to confirm the wit of it. Indeed, we may remark, in favor of the +physiognomist, though the law has made him a rogue and vagabond, that +Nature is seldom curious in her works within, without employing some +little pains on the outside; and this more particularly in mischievous +characters, in forming which, as Mr. Derham observes, in venomous +insects, as the sting or saw of a wasp, she is sometimes wonderfully +industrious. Now, when she hath thus completely armed our hero to carry +on a war with man, she never fails of furnishing that innocent lambkin +with some means of knowing his enemy, and foreseeing his designs. Thus +she hath been observed to act in the case of a rattlesnake, which never +meditates a human prey without giving warning of his approach. This +observation will, I am convinced, hold most true, if applied to the +most venomous individuals of human insects. A tyrant, a trickster, and +a bully, generally wear the marks of their several dispositions in +their countenances; so do the vixen, the shrew, the scold, and all other +females of the like kind. But, perhaps, nature hath never afforded a +stronger example of all this than in the case of Mrs. Francis. She was a +short, squat woman; her head was closely joined to her shoulders, where +it was fixed somewhat awry; every feature of her countenance was +sharp and pointed; her face was furrowed with the smallpox; and her +complexion, which seemed to be able to turn milk to curds, not a little +resembled in color such milk as had already undergone that operation. +She appeared, indeed, to have many symptoms of a deep jaundice in her +look; but the strength and firmness of her voice overbalanced them all; +the tone of this was a sharp treble at a distance, for I seldom heard +it on the same floor, but was usually waked with it in the morning, and +entertained with it almost continually through the whole day. + +Though vocal be usually put in opposition to instrumental music, I +question whether this might not be thought to partake of the nature of +both; for she played on two instruments, which she seemed to keep for +no other use from morning till night; these were two maids, or rather +scolding-stocks, who, I suppose, by some means or other, earned their +board, and she gave them their lodging gratis, or for no other service +than to keep her lungs in constant exercise. + +She differed, as I have said, in every particular from her husband; but +very remarkably in this, that, as it was impossible to displease him, so +it was as impossible to please her; and as no art could remove a smile +from his countenance, so could no art carry it into hers. If her bills +were remonstrated against she was offended with the tacit censure of +her fair-dealing; if they were not, she seemed to regard it as a tacit +sarcasm on her folly, which might have set down larger prices with the +same success. On this lather hint she did indeed improve, for she daily +raised some of her articles. A pennyworth of fire was to-day rated at a +shilling, to-morrow at eighteen-pence; and if she dressed us two dishes +for two shillings on the Saturday, we paid half-a-crown for the cookery +of one on the Sunday; and, whenever she was paid, she never left the +room without lamenting the small amount of her bill, saying, "she knew +not how it was that others got their money by gentle-folks, but for her +part she had not the art of it." When she was asked why she complained, +when she was paid all she demanded, she answered, "she could not deny +that, nor did she know she had omitted anything; but that it was but +a poor bill for gentle-folks to pay." I accounted for all this by her +having heard, that it is a maxim with the principal inn-holders on the +continent, to levy considerable sums on their guests, who travel with +many horses and servants, though such guests should eat little or +nothing in their houses; the method being, I believe, in such cases, to +lay a capitation on the horses, and not on their masters. But she did +not consider that in most of these inns a very great degree of hunger, +without any degree of delicacy, may be satisfied; and that in all such +inns there is some appearance, at least, of provision, as well as of a +man-cook to dress it, one of the hostlers being always furnished with a +cook's cap, waistcoat, and apron, ready to attend gentlemen and ladies +on their summons; that the case therefore of such inns differed from +hers, where there was nothing to eat or to drink, and in reality no +house to inhabit, no chair to sit upon, nor any bed to lie in; that +one third or fourth part therefore of the levy imposed at inns was, in +truth, a higher tax than the whole was when laid on in the other, where, +in order to raise a small sum, a man is obliged to submit to pay as many +various ways for the same thing as he doth to the government for the +light which enters through his own window into his own house, from his +own estate; such are the articles of bread and beer, firing, eating and +dressing dinner. + +The foregoing is a very imperfect sketch of this extraordinary couple; +for everything is here lowered instead of being heightened. Those who +would see them set forth in more lively colors, and with the proper +ornaments, may read the descriptions of the Furies in some of the +classical poets, or of the Stoic philosophers in the works of Lucian. + +Monday, July 20.--This day nothing remarkable passed; Mrs. Francis +levied a tax of fourteen shillings for the Sunday. We regaled ourselves +at dinner with venison and good claret of our own; and in the afternoon, +the women, attended by the captain, walked to see a delightful scene two +miles distant, with the beauties of which they declared themselves most +highly charmed at their return, as well as with the goodness of the lady +of the mansion, who had slipped out of the way that my wife and their +company might refresh themselves with the flowers and fruits with which +her garden abounded. + +Tuesday, July 21.--This day, having paid our taxes of yesterday, we were +permitted to regale ourselves with more venison. Some of this we would +willingly have exchanged for mutton; but no such flesh was to be had +nearer than Portsmouth, from whence it would have cost more to convey +a joint to us than the freight of a Portugal ham from Lisbon to London +amounts to; for though the water-carriage be somewhat cheaper here than +at Deal, yet can you find no waterman who will go on board his boat, +unless by two or three hours' rowing he can get drunk for the residue of +the week. + +And here I have an opportunity, which possibly may not offer again, of +publishing some observations on that political economy of this nation, +which, as it concerns only the regulation of the mob, is below the +notice of our great men; though on the due regulation of this order +depend many emoluments, which the great men themselves, or at least many +who tread close on their heels, may enjoy, as well as some dangers which +may some time or other arise from introducing a pure state of anarchy +among them. I will represent the case, as it appears to me, very fairly +and impartially between the mob and their betters. The whole mischief +which infects this part of our economy arises from the vague and +uncertain use of a word called liberty, of which, as scarce any two men +with whom I have ever conversed seem to have one and the same idea, I +am inclined to doubt whether there be any simple universal notion +represented by this word, or whether it conveys any clearer or more +determinate idea than some of those old Punic compositions of syllables +preserved in one of the comedies of Plautus, but at present, as I +conceive, not supposed to be understood by any one. + +By liberty, however, I apprehend, is commonly understood the power of +doing what we please; not absolutely, for then it would be inconsistent +with law, by whose control the liberty of the freest people, except only +the Hottentots and wild Indians, must always be restrained. + +But, indeed, however largely we extend, or however moderately we +confine, the sense of the word, no politician will, I presume, contend +that it is to pervade in an equal degree, and be, with the same extent, +enjoyed by, every member of society; no such polity having been ever +found, unless among those vile people just before commemorated. Among +the Greeks and Romans the servile and free conditions were opposed to +each other; and no man who had the misfortune to be enrolled under the +former could lay any claim to liberty till the right was conveyed to him +by that master whose slave he was, either by the means of conquest, of +purchase, or of birth. + +This was the state of all the free nations in the world; and this, till +very lately, was understood to be the case of our own. + +I will not indeed say this is the case at present, the lowest class of +our people having shaken off all the shackles of their superiors, and +become not only as free, but even freer, than most of their superiors. I +believe it cannot be doubted, though perhaps we have no recent instance +of it, that the personal attendance of every man who hath three hundred +pounds per annum, in parliament, is indispensably his duty; and that, +if the citizens and burgesses of any city or borough shall choose such +a one, however reluctant he appear, he may be obliged to attend, and be +forcibly brought to his duty by the sergeant-at-arms. + +Again, there are numbers of subordinate offices, some of which are of +burden, and others of expense, in the civil government--all of which +persons who are qualified are liable to have imposed on them, may be +obliged to undertake and properly execute, notwithstanding any bodily +labor, or even danger, to which they may subject themselves, under the +penalty of fines and imprisonment; nay, and what may appear somewhat +hard, may be compelled to satisfy the losses which are eventually +incident, to that of sheriff in particular, out of their own private +fortunes; and though this should prove the ruin of a family, yet the +public, to whom the price is due, incurs no debt or obligation to +preserve its officer harmless, let his innocence appear ever so clearly. +I purposely omit the mention of those military or military duties +which our old constitution laid upon its greatest members. These might, +indeed, supply their posts with some other able-bodied men; but if no +such could have been found, the obligation nevertheless remained, and +they were compellable to serve in their own proper persons. The only +one, therefore, who is possessed of absolute liberty is the lowest +member of the society, who, if he prefers hunger, or the wild product of +the fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, with the indulgence of ease and +laziness, to a food a little more delicate, but purchased at the expense +of labor, may lay himself under a shade; nor can be forced to take the +other alternative from that which he hath, I will not affirm whether +wisely or foolishly, chosen. + +Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of the last Vagrant Act, where all +such persons are compellable to work for the usual and accustomed wages +allowed in the place; but this is a clause little known to the justices +of the peace, and least likely to be executed by those who do know it, +as they know likewise that it is formed on the ancient power of the +justices to fix and settle these wages every year, making proper +allowances for the scarcity and plenty of the times, the cheapness and +dearness of the place; and that THE USUAL AND ACCUSTOMED WAGES are words +without any force or meaning, when there are no such; but every man +spunges and raps whatever he can get; and will haggle as long and +struggle as hard to cheat his employer of twopence in a day's labor as +an honest tradesman will to cheat his customers of the same sum in a +yard of cloth or silk. + +It is a great pity then that this power, or rather this practice, was +not revived; but, this having been so long omitted that it is become +obsolete, will be best done by a new law, in which this power, as well +as the consequent power of forcing the poor to labor at a moderate +and reasonable rate, should be well considered and their execution +facilitated; for gentlemen who give their time and labor gratis, and +even voluntarily, to the public, have a right to expect that all their +business be made as easy as possible; and to enact laws without doing +this is to fill our statute-books, much too full already, still +fuller with dead letter, of no use but to the printer of the acts of +parliament. That the evil which I have here pointed at is of itself +worth redressing, is, I apprehend, no subject of dispute; for why +should any persons in distress be deprived of the assistance of their +fellow-subjects, when they are willing amply to reward them for their +labor? or, why should the lowest of the people be permitted to exact +ten times the value of their work? For those exactions increase with the +degrees of necessity in their object, insomuch that on the former side +many are horribly imposed upon, and that often in no trifling matters. +I was very well assured that at Deal no less than ten guineas was +required, and paid by the supercargo of an Indiaman, for carrying him on +board two miles from the shore when she was just ready to sail; so that +his necessity, as his pillager well understood, was absolute. Again, +many others, whose indignation will not submit to such plunder, are +forced to refuse the assistance, though they are often great sufferers +by so doing. On the latter side, the lowest of the people are encouraged +in laziness and idleness; while they live by a twentieth part of the +labor that ought to maintain them, which is diametrically opposite to +the interest of the public; for that requires a great deal to be done, +not to be paid, for a little. And moreover, they are confirmed in +habits of exaction, and are taught to consider the distresses of their +superiors as their own fair emolument. But enough of this matter, of +which I at first intended only to convey a hint to those who are alone +capable of applying the remedy, though they are the last to whom the +notice of those evils would occur, without some such monitor as myself, +who am forced to travel about the world in the form of a passenger. I +cannot but say I heartily wish our governors would attentively +consider this method of fixing the price of labor, and by that means +of compelling the poor to work, since the due execution of such powers +will, I apprehend, be found the true and only means of making them +useful, and of advancing trade from its present visibly declining state +to the height to which Sir William Petty, in his Political Arithmetic, +thinks it capable of being carried. + +In the afternoon the lady of the above-mentioned mansion called at our +inn, and left her compliments to us with Mrs. Francis, with an assurance +that while we continued wind-bound in that place, where she feared we +could be but indifferently accommodated, we were extremely welcome to +the use of anything which her garden or her house afforded. So polite a +message convinced us, in spite of some arguments to the contrary, that +we were not on the coast of Africa, or on some island where the few +savage inhabitants have little of human in them besides their form. And +here I mean nothing less than to derogate from the merit of this lady, +who is not only extremely polite in her behavior to strangers of her own +rank, but so extremely good and charitable to all her poor neighbors who +stand in need of her assistance, that she hath the universal love and +praises of all who live near her. But, in reality, how little doth the +acquisition of so valuable a character, and the full indulgence of so +worthy a disposition, cost those who possess it! Both are accomplished +by the very offals which fall from a table moderately plentiful. That +they are enjoyed therefore by so few arises truly from there being so +few who have any such disposition to gratify, or who aim at any such +character. + +Wednesday, July 22.--This morning, after having been mulcted as usual, +we dispatched a servant with proper acknowledgments of the lady's +goodness; but confined our wants entirely to the productions of her +garden. He soon returned, in company with the gardener, both richly +laden with almost every particular which a garden at this most fruitful +season of the year produces. While we were regaling ourselves with +these, towards the close of our dinner, we received orders from our +commander, who had dined that day with some inferior officers on board +a man-of-war, to return instantly to the ship; for that the wind was +become favorable and he should weigh that evening. These orders were +soon followed by the captain himself, who was still in the utmost hurry, +though the occasion of it had long since ceased; for the wind had, +indeed, a little shifted that afternoon, but was before this very +quietly set down in its old quarters. + +This last was a lucky hit for me; for, as the captain, to whose orders +we resolved to pay no obedience, unless delivered by himself, did +not return till past six, so much time seemed requisite to put up the +furniture of our bed-chamber or dining-room, for almost every article, +even to some of the chairs, were either our own or the captain's +property; so much more in conveying it as well as myself, as dead a +luggage as any, to the shore, and thence to the ship, that the night +threatened first to overtake us. A terrible circumstance to me, in my +decayed condition; especially as very heavy showers of rain, attended +with a high wind, continued to fall incessantly; the being carried +through which two miles in the dark, in a wet and open boat, seemed +little less than certain death. However, as my commander was absolute, +his orders peremptory, and my obedience necessary, I resolved to avail +myself of a philosophy which hath been of notable use to me in the +latter part of my life, and which is contained in this hemistich of +Virgil:-- + + ----Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est. + +The meaning of which, if Virgil had any, I think I rightly understood, +and rightly applied. As I was therefore to be entirely passive in my +motion, I resolved to abandon myself to the conduct of those who were to +carry me into a cart when it returned from unloading the goods. + +But before this, the captain, perceiving what had happened in the +clouds, and that the wind remained as much his enemy as ever, came +upstairs to me with a reprieve till the morning. This was, I own, very +agreeable news, and I little regretted the trouble of refurnishing my +apartment, by sending back for the goods. + +Mrs. Francis was not well pleased with this. + +As she understood the reprieve to be only till the morning, she saw +nothing but lodging to be possibly added, out of which she was to deduct +fire and candle, and the remainder, she thought, would scarce pay her +for her trouble. She exerted therefore all the ill-humor of which she +was mistress, and did all she could to thwart and perplex everything +during the whole evening. + +Thursday, July 23.--Early in the morning the captain, who had remained +on shore all night, came to visit us, and to press us to make haste on +board. "I am resolved," says he, "not to lose a moment now the wind is +coming about fair: for my own part, I never was surer of a wind in +all my life." I use his very words; nor will I presume to interpret or +comment upon them farther than by observing that they were spoke in the +utmost hurry. + +We promised to be ready as soon as breakfast was over, but this was not +so soon as was expected; for, in removing our goods the evening before, +the tea-chest was unhappily lost. Every place was immediately searched, +and many where it was impossible for it to be; for this was a loss +of much greater consequence than it may at first seem to many of my +readers. Ladies and valetudinarians do not easily dispense with the use +of this sovereign cordial in a single instance; but to undertake a long +voyage, without any probability of being supplied with it the whole way, +was above the reach of patience. And yet, dreadful as this calamity was, +it seemed unavoidable. The whole town of Ryde could not supply a single +leaf; for, as to what Mrs. Francis and the shop called by that name, it +was not of Chinese growth. It did not indeed in the least resemble tea, +either in smell or taste, or in any particular, unless in being a leaf; +for it was in truth no other than a tobacco of the mundungus species. +And as for the hopes of relief in any other port, they were not to be +depended upon, for the captain had positively declared he was sure of a +wind, and would let go his anchor no more till he arrived in the Tajo. + +When a good deal of time had been spent, most of it indeed wasted on +this occasion, a thought occurred which every one wondered at its not +having presented itself the first moment. This was to apply to the +good lady, who could not fail of pitying and relieving such distress. A +messenger was immediately despatched with an account of our misfortune, +till whose return we employed ourselves in preparatives for our +departure, that we might have nothing to do but to swallow our breakfast +when it arrived. The tea-chest, though of no less consequence to us +than the military-chest to a general, was given up as lost, or rather +as stolen, for though I would not, for the world, mention any particular +name, it is certain we had suspicions, and all, I am afraid, fell on the +same person. + +The man returned from the worthy lady with much expedition, and brought +with him a canister of tea, despatched with so true a generosity, as +well as politeness, that if our voyage had been as long again we should +have incurred no danger of being brought to a short allowance in this +most important article. At the very same instant likewise arrived +William the footman with our own tea-chest. It had been, indeed, left in +the hoy, when the other goods were re-landed, as William, when he first +heard it was missing, had suspected; and whence, had not the owner of +the hoy been unluckily out of the way, he had retrieved it soon enough +to have prevented our giving the lady an opportunity of displaying +some part of her goodness. To search the hoy was, indeed, too natural a +suggestion to have escaped any one, nor did it escape being mentioned +by many of us; but we were dissuaded from it by my wife's maid, who +perfectly well remembered she had left the chest in the bed-chamber; for +that she had never given it out of her hand in her way to or from the +hoy; but William perhaps knew the maid better, and best understood how +far she was to be believed; for otherwise he would hardly of his own +accord, after hearing her declaration, have hunted out the hoy-man, with +much pains and difficulty. Thus ended this scene, which began with such +appearance of distress, and ended with becoming the subject of mirth and +laughter. Nothing now remained but to pay our taxes, which were indeed +laid with inconceivable severity. Lodging was raised sixpence, fire in +the same proportion, and even candles, which had hitherto escaped, were +charged with a wantonness of imposition, from the beginning, and placed +under the style of oversight. We were raised a whole pound, whereas +we had only burned ten, in five nights, and the pound consisted of +twenty-four. + +Lastly, an attempt was made which almost as far exceeds human credulity +to believe as it did human patience to submit to. This was to make us +pay as much for existing an hour or two as for existing a whole day; and +dressing dinner was introduced as an article, though we left the +house before either pot or spit had approached the fire. Here I own +my patience failed me, and I became an example of the truth of the +observation, "That all tyranny and oppression may be carried too far, +and that a yoke may be made too intolerable for the neck of the tamest +slave." When I remonstrated, with some warmth, against this grievance, +Mrs. Francis gave me a look, and left the room without making any +answer. She returned in a minute, running to me with pen, ink, and +paper, in her hand, and desired me to make my own bill; "for she hoped," +she said "I did not expect that her house was to be dirtied, and her +goods spoiled and consumed for nothing. The whole is but thirteen +shillings. Can gentlefolks lie a whole night at a public-house for less? +If they can I am sure it is time to give off being a landlady: but +pay me what you please; I would have people know that I value money as +little as other folks. But I was always a fool, as I says to my husband, +and never knows which side my bread is buttered of. And yet, to be sure, +your honor shall be my warning not to be bit so again. Some folks knows +better than other some how to make their bills. Candles! why yes, to be +sure; why should not travelers pay for candles? I am sure I pays for my +candles, and the chandler pays the king's majesty for them; and if he +did not I must, so as it comes to the same thing in the end. To be sure +I am out of sixteens at present, but these burn as white and as clear, +though not quite so large. I expects my chandler here soon, or I would +send to Portsmouth, if your honor was to stay any time longer. But when +folks stays only for a wind, you knows there can be no dependence on +such!" Here she put on a little slyness of aspect, and seemed willing to +submit to interruption. I interrupted her accordingly by throwing down +half a guinea, and declared I had no more English money, which was +indeed true; and, as she could not immediately change the thirty-six +shilling pieces, it put a final end to the dispute. Mrs. Francis soon +left the room, and we soon after left the house; nor would this good +woman see us or wish us a good voyage. I must not, however, quit this +place, where we had been so ill-treated, without doing it impartial +justice, and recording what may, with the strictest truth, be said in +its favor. + +First, then, as to its situation, it is, I think, most delightful, and +in the most pleasant spot in the whole island. It is true it wants the +advantage of that beautiful river which leads from Newport to Cowes; +but the prospect here extending to the sea, and taking in Portsmouth, +Spithead, and St. Helen's, would be more than a recompense for the loss +of the Thames itself, even in the most delightful part of Berkshire or +Buckinghamshire, though another Denham, or another Pope, should unite in +celebrating it. For my own part, I confess myself so entirely fond of a +sea prospect, that I think nothing on the land can equal it; and if it +be set off with shipping, I desire to borrow no ornament from the terra +firma. A fleet of ships is, in my opinion, the noblest object which +the art of man hath ever produced; and far beyond the power of those +architects who deal in brick, in stone, or in marble. + +When the late Sir Robert Walpole, one of the best of men and of +ministers, used to equip us a yearly fleet at Spithead, his enemies of +taste must have allowed that he, at least, treated the nation with a +fine sight for their money. A much finer, indeed, than the same expense +in an encampment could have produced. For what indeed is the best idea +which the prospect of a number of huts can furnish to the mind, but of +a number of men forming themselves into a society before the art of +building more substantial houses was known? This, perhaps, would be +agreeable enough; but, in truth, there is a much worse idea ready to +step in before it, and that is of a body of cut-throats, the supports of +tyranny, the invaders of the just liberties and properties of mankind, +the plunderers of the industrious, the ravishers of the chaste, the +murderers of the innocent, and, in a word, the destroyers of the plenty, +the peace, and the safety, of their fellow-creatures. + +And what, it may be said, are these men-of-war which seem so delightful +an object to our eyes? Are they not alike the support of tyranny and +oppression of innocence, carrying with them desolation and ruin wherever +their masters please to send them? This is indeed too true; and however +the ship of war may, in its bulk and equipment, exceed the honest +merchantman, I heartily wish there was no necessity for it; for, though +I must own the superior beauty of the object on one side, I am more +pleased with the superior excellence of the idea which I can raise in +my mind on the other, while I reflect on the art and industry of mankind +engaged in the daily improvements of commerce to the mutual benefit of +all countries, and to the establishment and happiness of social life. +This pleasant village is situated on a gentle ascent from the water, +whence it affords that charming prospect I have above described. Its +soil is a gravel, which, assisted with its declivity, preserves it +always so dry that immediately after the most violent rain a fine lady +may walk without wetting her silken shoes. The fertility of the place is +apparent from its extraordinary verdure, and it is so shaded with large +and flourishing elms, that its narrow lanes are a natural grove or walk, +which, in the regularity of its plantation, vies with the power of art, +and in its wanton exuberancy greatly exceeds it. + +In a field in the ascent of this hill, about a quarter of a mile from +the sea, stands a neat little chapel. It is very small, but adequate to +the number of inhabitants; for the parish doth not seem to contain above +thirty houses. + +At about two miles distant from this parish lives that polite and good +lady to whose kindness we were so much obliged. It is placed on a hill +whose bottom is washed by the sea, and which from its eminence at top, +commands a view of great part of the island as well as it does that of +the opposite shore. This house was formerly built by one Boyce, who, +from a blacksmith at Gosport, became possessed, by great success in +smuggling, of forty thousand pound. With part of this he purchased an +estate here, and, by chance probably, fixed on this spot for building +a large house. Perhaps the convenience of carrying on his business, to +which it is so well adapted, might dictate the situation to him. We can +hardly, at least, attribute it to the same taste with which he furnished +his house, or at least his library, by sending an order to a bookseller +in London to pack him up five hundred pounds' worth of his handsomest +books. They tell here several almost incredible stories of the +ignorance, the folly, and the pride, which this poor man and his wife +discovered during the short continuance of his prosperity; for he did +not long escape the sharp eyes of the revenue solicitors, and was, by +extents from the court of Exchequer, soon reduced below his original +state to that of confinement in the Fleet. All his effects were sold, +and among the rest his books, by an auction at Portsmouth, for a +very small price; for the bookseller was now discovered to have been +perfectly a master of his trade, and, relying on Mr. Boyce's finding +little time to read, had sent him not only the most lasting wares of his +shop, but duplicates of the same, under different titles. + +His estate and house were purchased by a gentleman of these parts, whose +widow now enjoys them, and who hath improved them, particularly her +gardens, with so elegant a taste, that the painter who would assist his +imagination in the composition of a most exquisite landscape, or the +poet who would describe an earthly paradise, could nowhere furnish +themselves with a richer pattern. + +We left this place about eleven in the morning, and were again conveyed, +with more sunshine than wind, aboard our ship. + +Whence our captain had acquired his power of prophecy, when he promised +us and himself a prosperous wind, I will not determine; it is sufficient +to observe that he was a false prophet, and that the weathercocks +continued to point as before. He would not, however, so easily give up +his skill in prediction. He persevered in asserting that the wind was +changed, and, having weighed his anchor, fell down that afternoon to St. +Helen's, which was at about the distance of five miles; and whither +his friend the tide, in defiance of the wind, which was most manifestly +against him, softly wafted him in as many hours. + +Here, about seven in the evening, before which time we could not procure +it, we sat down to regale ourselves with some roasted venison, which was +much better dressed than we imagined it would be, and an excellent cold +pasty which my wife had made at Ryde, and which we had reserved uncut +to eat on board our ship, whither we all cheerfully exulted in +being returned from the presence of Mrs. Francis, who, by the exact +resemblance she bore to a fury, seemed to have been with no great +propriety settled in paradise. + +Friday, July 24.--As we passed by Spithead on the preceding evening we +saw the two regiments of soldiers who were just returned from Gibraltar +and Minorca; and this day a lieutenant belonging to one of them, who was +the captain's nephew, came to pay a visit to his uncle. He was what is +called by some a very pretty fellow; indeed, much too pretty a fellow +at his years; for he was turned of thirty-four, though his address and +conversation would have become him more before he had reached twenty. In +his conversation, it is true, there was something military enough, as it +consisted chiefly of oaths, and of the great actions and wise sayings +of Jack, and Will, and Tom of our regiment, a phrase eternally in his +mouth; and he seemed to conclude that it conveyed to all the officers +such a degree of public notoriety and importance that it entitled him +like the head of a profession, or a first minister, to be the subject +of conversation among those who had not the least personal acquaintance +with him. This did not much surprise me, as I have seen several examples +of the same; but the defects in his address, especially to the women, +were so great that they seemed absolutely inconsistent with the behavior +of a pretty fellow, much less of one in a red coat; and yet, besides +having been eleven years in the army, he had had, as his uncle informed +me, an education in France. This, I own, would have appeared to have +been absolutely thrown away had not his animal spirits, which were +likewise thrown away upon him in great abundance, borne the visible +stamp of the growth of that country. The character to which he had an +indisputable title was that of a merry fellow; so very merry was he that +he laughed at everything he said, and always before he spoke. Possibly, +indeed, he often laughed at what he did not utter, for every speech +begun with a laugh, though it did not always end with a jest. There was +no great analogy between the characters of the uncle and the nephew, +and yet they seemed entirely to agree in enjoying the honor which the +red-coat did to his family. This the uncle expressed with great pleasure +in his countenance, and seemed desirous of showing all present the honor +which he had for his nephew, who, on his side, was at some pains to +convince us of his concurring in this opinion, and at the same time of +displaying the contempt he had for the parts, as well as the occupation +of his uncle, which he seemed to think reflected some disgrace on +himself, who was a member of that profession which makes every man a +gentleman. Not that I would be understood to insinuate that the nephew +endeavored to shake off or disown his uncle, or indeed to keep him +at any distance. On the contrary, he treated him with the utmost +familiarity, often calling him Dick, and dear Dick, and old Dick, and +frequently beginning an oration with D--n me, Dick. + +All this condescension on the part of the young man was received with +suitable marks of complaisance and obligation by the old one; especially +when it was attended with evidences of the same familiarity with general +officers and other persons of rank; one of whom, in particular, I know +to have the pride and insolence of the devil himself, and who, without +some strong bias of interest, is no more liable to converse familiarly +with a lieutenant than of being mistaken in his judgment of a fool; +which was not, perhaps, so certainly the case of the worthy lieutenant, +who, in declaring to us the qualifications which recommended men to his +countenance and conversation, as well as what effectually set a bar +to all hopes of that honor, exclaimed, "No, sir, by the d-- I hate all +fools-- No, d--n me, excuse me for that. That's a little too much, old +Dick. There are two or three officers of our regiment whom I know to be +fools; but d--n me if I am ever seen in their company. If a man hath a +fool of a relation, Dick, you know he can't help that, old boy." Such +jokes as these the old man not only tools in good part, but glibly +gulped down the whole narrative of his nephew; nor did he, I am +convinced, in the least doubt of our as readily swallowing the same. +This made him so charmed with the lieutenant, that it is probable we +should have been pestered with him the whole evening, had not the north +wind, dearer to our sea-captain even than this glory of his family, +sprung suddenly up, and called aloud to him to weigh his anchor. While +this ceremony was performing, the sea-captain ordered out his boat to +row the land-captain to shore; not indeed on an uninhabited island, but +one which, in this part, looked but little better, not presenting us the +view of a single house. Indeed, our old friend, when his boat returned +on shore, perhaps being no longer able to stifle his envy of the +superiority of his nephew, told us with a smile that the young man had a +good five mile to walk before he could be accommodated with a passage to +Portsmouth. + +It appeared now that the captain had been only mistaken in the date of +his prediction, by placing the event a day earlier than it happened; for +the wind which now arose was not only favorable but brisk, and was no +sooner in reach of our sails than it swept us away by the back of the +Isle of Wight, and, having in the night carried us by Christchurch and +Peveral-point, brought us the next noon, Saturday, July 25, oft the +island of Portland, so famous for the smallness and sweetness of its +mutton, of which a leg seldom weighs four pounds. We would have bought +a sheep, but our captain would not permit it; though he needed not have +been in such a hurry, for presently the wind, I will not positively +assert in resentment of his surliness, showed him a dog's trick, and +slyly slipped back again to his summer-house in the south-west. + +The captain now grew outrageous, and, declaring open war with the wind, +took a resolution, rather more bold than wise, of sailing in defiance of +it, and in its teeth. He swore he would let go his anchor no more, but +would beat the sea while he had either yard or sail left. He accordingly +stood from the shore, and made so large a tack that before night, though +he seemed to advance but little on his way, he was got out of sight of +land. + +Towards evening the wind began, in the captain's own language, +and indeed it freshened so much, that before ten it blew a perfect +hurricane. The captain having got, as he supposed, to a safe distance, +tacked again towards the English shore; and now the wind veered a point +only in his favor, and continued to blow with such violence, that the +ship ran above eight knots or miles an hour during this whole day and +tempestuous night till bed-time. I was obliged to betake myself +once more to my solitude, for my women were again all down in their +sea-sickness, and the captain was busy on deck; for he began to grow +uneasy, chiefly, I believe, because he did not well know where he +was, and would, I am convinced, have been very glad to have been in +Portland-road, eating some sheep's-head broth. + +Having contracted no great degree of good-humor by living a whole day +alone, without a single soul to converse with, I took but ill physic to +purge it off, by a bed-conversation with the captain, who, amongst many +bitter lamentations of his fate, and protesting he had more patience +than a Job, frequently intermixed summons to the commanding officer on +the deck, who now happened to be one Morrison, a carpenter, the only +fellow that had either common sense or common civility in the ship. Of +Morrison he inquired every quarter of an hour concerning the state +of affairs: the wind, the care of the ship, and other matters of +navigation. The frequency of these summons, as well as the solicitude +with which they were made, sufficiently testified the state of the +captain's mind; he endeavored to conceal it, and would have given no +small alarm to a man who had either not learned what it is to die, or +known what it is to be miserable. And my dear wife and child must pardon +me, if what I did not conceive to be any great evil to myself I was not +much terrified with the thoughts of happening to them; in truth, I have +often thought they are both too good and too gentle to be trusted to the +power of any man I know, to whom they could possibly be so trusted. + +Can I say then I had no fear? indeed I cannot. Reader, I was afraid for +thee, lest thou shouldst have been deprived of that pleasure thou art +now enjoying; and that I should not live to draw out on paper that +military character which thou didst peruse in the journal of yesterday. + +From all these fears we were relieved, at six in the morning, by the +arrival of Mr. Morrison, who acquainted us that he was sure he beheld +land very near; for he could not see half a mile, by reason of the +haziness of the weather. This land he said was, he believed, the +Berry-head, which forms one side of Torbay: the captain declared that it +was impossible, and swore, on condition he was right, he would give him +his mother for a maid. A forfeit which became afterwards strictly due +and payable; for the captain, whipping on his night-gown, ran up without +his breeches, and within half an hour returning into the cabin, wished +me joy of our lying safe at anchor in the bay. + +Sunday, July 26.--Things now began to put on an aspect very different +from what they had lately worn; the news that the ship had almost lost +its mizzen, and that we had procured very fine clouted cream and fresh +bread and butter from the shore, restored health and spirits to our +women, and we all sat down to a very cheerful breakfast. But, however +pleasant our stay promised to be here, we were all desirous it should +be short: I resolved immediately to despatch my man into the country +to purchase a present of cider, for my friends of that which is called +Southam, as well as to take with me a hogshead of it to Lisbon; for it +is, in my opinion, much more delicious than that which is the growth +of Herefordshire. I purchased three hogsheads for five pounds ten +shillings, all which I should have scarce thought worth mentioning, had +I not believed it might be of equal service to the honest farmer who +sold it me, and who is by the neighboring gentlemen reputed to deal in +the very best; and to the reader, who, from ignorance of the means of +providing better for himself, swallows at a dearer rate the juice +of Middlesex turnip, instead of that Vinum Pomonae which Mr. Giles +Leverance of Cheeshurst, near Dartmouth in Devon, will, at the price of +forty shillings per hogshead, send in double casks to any part of the +world. Had the wind been very sudden in shifting, I had lost my cider by +an attempt of a boatman to exact, according to custom. He required five +shillings for conveying my man a mile and a half to the shore, and +four more if he stayed to bring him back. This I thought to be such +insufferable impudence that I ordered him to be immediately chased from +the ship, without any answer. Indeed, there are few inconveniences that +I would not rather encounter than encourage the insolent demands of +these wretches, at the expense of my own indignation, of which I own +they are not the only objects, but rather those who purchase a paltry +convenience by encouraging them. But of this I have already spoken very +largely. I shall conclude, therefore, with the leave which this fellow +took of our ship; saying he should know it again, and would not put +off from the shore to relieve it in any distress whatever. It will, +doubtless, surprise many of my readers to hear that, when we lay at +anchor within a mile or two of a town several days together, and even in +the most temperate weather, we should frequently want fresh provisions +and herbage, and other emoluments of the shore, as much as if we had +been a hundred leagues from land. And this too while numbers of boats +were in our sight, whose owners get their livelihood by rowing people +up and down, and could be at any time summoned by a signal to our +assistance, and while the captain had a little boat of his own, with men +always ready to row it at his command. + +This, however, hath been partly accounted for already by the imposing +disposition of the people, who asked so much more than the proper price +of their labor. And as to the usefulness of the captain's boat, it +requires to be a little expatiated upon, as it will tend to lay +open some of the grievances which demand the utmost regard of our +legislature, as they affect the most valuable part of the king's +subjects--those by whom the commerce of the nation is carried into +execution. Our captain then, who was a very good and experienced seaman, +having been above thirty years the master of a vessel, part of which +he had served, so he phrased it, as commander of a privateer, and had +discharged himself with great courage and conduct, and with as great +success, discovered the utmost aversion to the sending his boat ashore +whenever we lay wind-bound in any of our harbors. This aversion did not +arise from any fear of wearing out his boat by using it, but was, in +truth, the result of experience, that it was easier to send his men +on shore than to recall them. They acknowledged him to be their master +while they remained on shipboard, but did not allow his power to extend +to the shores, where they had no sooner set their foot than every man +became sui juris, and thought himself at full liberty to return when he +pleased. Now it is not any delight that these fellows have in the fresh +air or verdant fields on the land. Every one of them would prefer +his ship and his hammock to all the sweets of Arabia the Happy; but, +unluckily for them, there are in every seaport in England certain +houses whose chief livelihood depends on providing entertainment for the +gentlemen of the jacket. For this purpose they are always well furnished +with those cordial liquors which do immediately inspire the heart with +gladness, banishing all careful thoughts, and indeed all others, +from the mind, and opening the mouth with songs of cheerfulness and +thanksgiving for the many wonderful blessings with which a seafaring +life overflows. + +For my own part, however whimsical it may appear, I confess I have +thought the strange story of Circe in the Odyssey no other than an +ingenious allegory, in which Homer intended to convey to his countrymen +the same kind of instruction which we intend to communicate to our own +in this digression. As teaching the art of war to the Greeks was the +plain design of the Iliad, so was teaching them the art of navigation +the no less manifest intention of the Odyssey. For the improvement of +this, their situation was most excellently adapted; and accordingly we +find Thucydides, in the beginning of his history, considers the Greeks +as a set of pirates or privateers, plundering each other by sea. +This being probably the first institution of commerce before the Ars +Cauponaria was invented, and merchants, instead of robbing, began to +cheat and outwit each other, and by degrees changed the Metabletic, +the only kind of traffic allowed by Aristotle in his Politics, into the +Chrematistic. + +By this allegory then I suppose Ulysses to have been the captain of a +merchant-ship, and Circe some good ale-wife, who made his crew drunk +with the spirituous liquors of those days. With this the transformation +into swine, as well as all other incidents of the fable, will notably +agree; and thus a key will be found out for unlocking the whole mystery, +and forging at least some meaning to a story which, at present, appears +very strange and absurd. + +Hence, moreover, will appear the very near resemblance between the +sea-faring men of all ages and nations; and here perhaps may be +established the truth and justice of that observation, which will occur +oftener than once in this voyage, that all human flesh is not the same +flesh, but that there is one kind of flesh of landmen, and another of +seamen. + +Philosophers, divines, and others, who have treated the gratification +of human appetites with contempt, have, among other instances, insisted +very strongly on that satiety which is so apt to overtake them even in +the very act of enjoyment. And here they more particularly deserve +our attention, as most of them may be supposed to speak from their own +experience, and very probably gave us their lessons with a full stomach. +Thus hunger and thirst, whatever delight they may afford while we are +eating and drinking, pass both away from us with the plate and the cup; +and though we should imitate the Romans, if, indeed, they were such dull +beasts, which I can scarce believe, to unload the belly like a dung-pot, +in order to fill it again with another load, yet would the pleasure be +so considerably lessened that it would scarce repay us the trouble of +purchasing it with swallowing a basin of camomile tea. A second haunch +of venison, or a second dose of turtle, would hardly allure a city +glutton with its smell. Even the celebrated Jew himself, when well +filled with calipash and calipee, goes contentedly home to tell his +money, and expects no more pleasure from his throat during the +next twenty-four hours. Hence I suppose Dr. South took that elegant +comparison of the joys of a speculative man to the solemn silence of an +Archimedes over a problem, and those of a glutton to the stillness of a +sow at her wash. A simile which, if it became the pulpit at all, could +only become it in the afternoon. Whereas in those potations which the +mind seems to enjoy, rather than the bodily appetite, there is happily +no such satiety; but the more a man drinks, the more he desires; as if, +like Mark Anthony in Dryden, his appetite increased with feeding, and +this to such an immoderate degree, ut nullus sit desiderio aut pudor +aut modus. Hence, as with the gang of Captain Ulysses, ensues so total +a transformation, that the man no more continues what he was. Perhaps +he ceases for a time to be at all; or, though he may retain the same +outward form and figure he had before, yet is his nobler part, as we are +taught to call it, so changed, that, instead of being the same man, +he scarce remembers what he was a few hours before. And this +transformation, being once obtained, is so easily preserved by the same +potations, which induced no satiety, that the captain in vain sends or +goes in quest of his crew. They know him no longer; or, if they do, +they acknowledge not his power, having indeed as entirely forgotten +themselves as if they had taken a large draught of the river of Lethe. + +Nor is the captain always sure of even finding out the place to which +Circe hath conveyed them. There are many of those houses in every +port-town. Nay, there are some where the sorceress doth not trust only +to her drugs; but hath instruments of a different kind to execute +her purposes, by whose means the tar is effectually secreted from the +knowledge and pursuit of his captain. This would, indeed, be very fatal, +was it not for one circumstance; that the sailor is seldom provided +with the proper bait for these harpies. However, the contrary sometimes +happens, as these harpies will bite at almost anything, and will snap at +a pair of silver buttons, or buckles, as surely as at the specie itself. +Nay, sometimes they are so voracious, that the very naked hook will go +down, and the jolly young sailor is sacrificed for his own sake. + +In vain, at such a season as this, would the vows of a pious heathen +have prevailed over Neptune, Aeolus, or any other marine deity. In +vain would the prayers of a Christian captain be attended with the +like success. The wind may change how it pleases while all hands are on +shore; the anchor would remain firm in the ground, and the ship would +continue in durance, unless, like other forcible prison-breakers, it +forcibly got loose for no good purpose. Now, as the favor of winds and +courts, and such like, is always to be laid hold on at the very first +motion, for within twenty-four hours all may be changed again; so, in +the former case, the loss of a day may be the loss of a voyage: for, +though it may appear to persons not well skilled in navigation, who see +ships meet and sail by each other, that the wind blows sometimes east +and west, north and south, backwards and forwards, at the same instant; +yet, certain it is that the land is so contrived, that even the same +wind will not, like the same horse, always bring a man to the end of +his journey; but, that the gale which the mariner prayed heartily for +yesterday, he may as heartily deprecate to-morrow; while all use +and benefit which would have arisen to him from the westerly wind of +to-morrow may be totally lost and thrown away by neglecting the offer of +the easterly blast which blows to-day. + +Hence ensues grief and disreputation to the innocent captain, loss and +disappointment to the worthy merchant, and not seldom great prejudice to +the trade of a nation whose manufactures are thus liable to lie unsold +in a foreign warehouse the market being forestalled by some rival +whose sailors are under a better discipline. To guard against these +inconveniences the prudent captain takes every precaution in his power; +he makes the strongest contracts with his crew, and thereby binds them +so firmly, that none but the greatest or least of men can break through +them with impunity; but for one of these two reasons, which I will not +determine, the sailor, like his brother fish the eel, is too slippery to +be held, and plunges into his element with perfect impunity. To speak a +plain truth, there is no trusting to any contract with one whom the wise +citizens of London call a bad man; for, with such a one, though your +bond be ever so strong, it will prove in the end good for nothing. + +What then is to be done in this case? What, indeed, but to call in the +assistance of that tremendous magistrate, the justice of peace, who can, +and often doth, lay good and bad men in equal durance; and, though he +seldom cares to stretch his bonds to what is great, never finds anything +too minute for their detention, but will hold the smallest reptile alive +so fast in his noose, that he can never get out till he is let drop +through it. Why, therefore, upon the breach of those contracts, should +not an immediate application be made to the nearest magistrate of this +order, who should be empowered to convey the delinquent either to ship +or to prison, at the election of the captain, to be fettered by the leg +in either place? But, as the case now stands, the condition of this poor +captain without any commission, and of this absolute commander without +any power, is much worse than we have hitherto shown it to be; for, +notwithstanding all the aforesaid contracts to sail in the good ship +the Elizabeth, if the sailor should, for better wages, find it more his +interest to go on board the better ship the Mary, either before their +setting out or on their speedy meeting in some port, he may prefer the +latter without any other danger than that of "doing what he ought not +to have done," contrary to a rule which he is seldom Christian enough to +have much at heart, while the captain is generally too good a Christian +to punish a man out of revenge only, when he is to be at a considerable +expense for so doing. There are many other deficiencies in our laws +relating to maritime affairs, and which would probably have been long +since corrected, had we any seamen in the House of Commons. Not that I +would insinuate that the legislature wants a supply of many gentlemen in +the sea-service; but, as these gentlemen are by their attendance in the +house unfortunately prevented from ever going to sea, and there learning +what they might communicate to their landed brethren, these latter +remain as ignorant in that branch of knowledge as they would be if none +but courtiers and fox-hunters had been elected into parliament, without +a single fish among them. The following seems to me to be an effect of +this kind, and it strikes me the stronger as I remember the case to have +happened, and remember it to have been dispunishable. A captain of a +trading vessel, of which he was part owner, took in a large freight of +oats at Liverpool, consigned to the market at Bearkey: this he carried +to a port in Hampshire, and there sold it as his own, and, freighting +his vessel with wheat for the port of Cadiz, in Spain, dropped it at +Oporto in his way; and there, selling it for his own use, took in a +lading of wine, with which he sailed again, and, having converted it in +the same manner, together with a large sum of money with which he was +intrusted, for the benefit of certain merchants, sold the ship and cargo +in another port, and then wisely sat down contented with the fortune +he had made, and returned to London to enjoy the remainder of his days, +with the fruits of his former labors and a good conscience. + +The sum he brought home with him consisted of near six thousand pounds, +all in specie, and most of it in that coin which Portugal distributes so +liberally over Europe. + +He was not yet old enough to be past all sense of pleasure, nor so +puffed up with the pride of his good fortune as to overlook his old +acquaintances the journeymen tailors, from among whom he had been +formerly pressed into the sea-service, and, having there laid the +foundation of his future success by his shares in prizes, had afterwards +become captain of a trading vessel, in which he purchased an interest, +and had soon begun to trade in the honorable manner above mentioned. The +captain now took up his residence at an ale-house in Drury-lane, where, +having all his money by him in a trunk, he spent about five pounds a +day among his old friends the gentlemen and ladies of those parts. The +merchant of Liverpool, having luckily had notice from a friend during +the blaze of his fortune, did, by the assistance of a justice of peace, +without the assistance of the law, recover his whole loss. The captain, +however, wisely chose to refund no more; but, perceiving with what hasty +strides Envy was pursuing his fortune, he took speedy means to retire +out of her reach, and to enjoy the rest of his wealth in an inglorious +obscurity; nor could the same justice overtake him time enough to assist +a second merchant as he had done the first. + +This was a very extraordinary case, and the more so as the ingenious +gentleman had steered entirely clear of all crimes in our law. Now, how +it comes about that a robbery so very easy to be committed, and to +which there is such immediate temptation always before the eyes of +these fellows, should receive the encouragement of impunity, is to +be accounted for only from the oversight of the legislature, as that +oversight can only be, I think, derived from the reasons I have assigned +for it. + +But I will dwell no longer on this subject. If what I have here said +should seem of sufficient consequence to engage the attention of any +man in power, and should thus be the means of applying any remedy to the +most inveterate evils, at least, I have obtained my whole desire, and +shall have lain so long wind-bound in the ports of this kingdom to some +purpose. I would, indeed, have this work--which, if I should live to +finish it, a matter of no great certainty, if indeed of any great hope +to me, will be probably the last I shall ever undertake--to produce some +better end than the mere diversion of the reader. + +Monday.--This day our captain went ashore, to dine with a gentleman who +lives in these parts, and who so exactly resembles the character given +by Homer of Axylus, that the only difference I can trace between them +is, the one, living by the highway, erected his hospitality chiefly +in favor of land-travelers; and the other, living by the water-side, +gratified his humanity by accommodating the wants of the mariner. + +In the evening our commander received a visit from a brother bashaw, who +lay wind-bound in the same harbor. This latter captain was a Swiss. He +was then master of a vessel bound to Guinea, and had formerly been +a privateering, when our own hero was employed in the same laudable +service. The honesty and freedom of the Switzer, his vivacity, in which +he was in no respect inferior to his near neighbors the French, +the awkward and affected politeness, which was likewise of French +extraction, mixed with the brutal roughness of the English tar--for he +had served under the colors of this nation and his crew had been of the +same--made such an odd variety, such a hotch-potch of character, that I +should have been much diverted with him, had not his voice, which was as +loud as a speaking-trumpet, unfortunately made my head ache. The noise +which he conveyed into the deaf ears of his brother captain, who sat on +one side of him, the soft addresses with which, mixed with awkward bows, +he saluted the ladies on the other, were so agreeably contrasted, that +a man must not only have been void of all taste of humor, and insensible +of mirth, but duller than Cibber is represented in the Dunciad, who +could be unentertained with him a little while; for, I confess, such +entertainments should always be very short, as they are very liable to +pall. But he suffered not this to happen at present; for, having +given us his company a quarter of an hour only, he retired, after many +apologies for the shortness of his visit. + +Tuesday.--The wind being less boisterous than it had hitherto been since +our arrival here, several fishing-boats, which the tempestuous weather +yesterday had prevented from working, came on board us with fish. This +was so fresh, so good in kind, and so very cheap, that we supplied +ourselves in great numbers, among which were very large soles at +fourpence a pair, and whitings of almost a preposterous size at +ninepence a score. The only fish which bore any price was a john doree, +as it is called. I bought one of at least four pounds weight for as many +shillings. It resembles a turbot in shape, but exceeds it in firmness +and flavor. The price had the appearance of being considerable when +opposed to the extraordinary cheapness of others of value, but was, in +truth, so very reasonable when estimated by its goodness, that it left +me under no other surprise than how the gentlemen of this country, not +greatly eminent for the delicacy of their taste, had discovered the +preference of the doree to all other fish: but I was informed that Mr. +Quin, whose distinguishing tooth hath been so justly celebrated, had +lately visited Plymouth, and had done those honors to the doree which +are so justly due to it from that sect of modern philosophers who, +with Sir Epicure Mammon, or Sir Epicure Quin, their head, seem more to +delight in a fish-pond than in a garden, as the old Epicureans are said +to have done. + +Unfortunately for the fishmongers of London, the doree resides only in +those seas; for, could any of this company but convey one to the temple +of luxury under the Piazza, where Macklin the high-priest daily serves +up his rich offerings to that goddess, great would be the reward of that +fishmonger, in blessings poured down upon him from the goddess, as great +would his merit be towards the high-priest, who could never be thought +to overrate such valuable incense. + +And here, having mentioned the extreme cheapness of fish in the +Devonshire sea, and given some little hint of the extreme dearness with +which this commodity is dispensed by those who deal in it in London, I +cannot pass on without throwing forth an observation or two, with the +same view with which I have scattered my several remarks through this +voyage, sufficiently satisfied in having finished my life, as I have +probably lost it, in the service of my country, from the best of +motives, though it should be attended with the worst of success. Means +are always in our power; ends are very seldom so. + +Of all the animal foods with which man is furnished, there are none so +plenty as fish. A little rivulet, that glides almost unperceived through +a vast tract of rich land, will support more hundreds with the flesh of +its inhabitants than the meadow will nourish individuals. But if this +be true of rivers, it is much truer of the sea-shores, which abound with +such immense variety of fish that the curious fisherman, after he hath +made his draught, often culls only the daintiest part and leaves the +rest of his prey to perish on the shore. If this be true it would +appear, I think, that there is nothing which might be had in such +abundance, and consequently so cheap, as fish, of which Nature seems to +have provided such inexhaustible stores with some peculiar design. In +the production of terrestrial animals she proceeds with such slowness, +that in the larger kind a single female seldom produces more than one +a-year, and this again requires three, for, or five years more to bring +it to perfection. And though the lesser quadrupeds, those of the wild +kind particularly, with the birds, do multiply much faster, yet can none +of these bear any proportion with the aquatic animals, of whom every +female matrix is furnished with an annual offspring almost exceeding the +power of numbers, and which, in many instances at least, a single year +is capable of bringing to some degree of maturity. + +What then ought in general to be so plentiful, what so cheap, as fish? +What then so properly the food of the poor? So in many places they are, +and so might they always be in great cities, which are always situated +near the sea, or on the conflux of large rivers. How comes it then, to +look no farther abroad for instances, that in our city of London the +case is so far otherwise that, except that of sprats, there is not one +poor palate in a hundred that knows the taste of fish? + +It is true indeed that this taste is generally of such excellent flavor +that it exceeds the power of French cookery to treat the palates of +the rich with anything more exquisitely delicate; so that was fish the +common food of the poor it might put them too much upon an equality with +their betters in the great article of eating, in which, at present, in +the opinion of some, the great difference in happiness between man and +man consists. But this argument I shall treat with the utmost disdain: +for if ortolans were as big as buzzards, and at the same time as plenty +as sparrows, I should hold it yet reasonable to indulge the poor with +the dainty, and that for this cause especially, that the rich would soon +find a sparrow, if as scarce as an ortolan, to be much the greater, as +it would certainly be the rarer, dainty of the two. + +Vanity or scarcity will be always the favorite of luxury; but honest +hunger will be satisfied with plenty. Not to search deeper into the +cause of the evil, I should think it abundantly sufficient to propose +the remedies of it. And, first, I humbly submit the absolute necessity +of immediately hanging all the fishmongers within the bills of +mortality; and, however it might have been some time ago the opinion of +mild and temporizing men that the evil complained of might be removed by +gentler methods, I suppose at this day there are none who do not see the +impossibility of using such with any effect. Cuncta prius tentanda +might have been formerly urged with some plausibility, but cuncta +prius tentata may now be replied: for surely, if a few monopolizing +fishmongers could defeat that excellent scheme of the Westminster +market, to the erecting which so many justices of peace, as well as +other wise and learned men, did so vehemently apply themselves, that +they might be truly said not only to have laid the whole strength of +their heads, but of their shoulders too, to the business, it would be a +vain endeavor for any other body of men to attempt to remove so stubborn +a nuisance. + +If it should be doubted whether we can bring this case within the letter +of any capital law now subsisting, I am ashamed to own it cannot; for +surely no crime better deserves such punishment; but the remedy may, +nevertheless, be immediate; and if a law was made at the beginning of +next session, to take place immediately, by which the starving thousands +of poor was declared to be felony, without benefit of clergy, the +fishmongers would be hanged before the end of the session. A second +method of filling the mouths of the poor, if not with loaves at least +with fishes, is to desire the magistrates to carry into execution one at +least out of near a hundred acts of parliament, for preserving the small +fry of the river of Thames, by which means as few fish would satisfy +thousands as may now be devoured by a small number of individuals. But +while a fisherman can break through the strongest meshes of an act +of parliament, we may be assured he will learn so to contrive his own +meshes that the smallest fry will not be able to swim through them. + +Other methods may, we doubt not, he suggested by those who shall +attentively consider the evil here hinted at; but we have dwelt too long +on it already, and shall conclude with observing that it is difficult to +affirm whether the atrocity of the evil itself, the facility of curing +it, or the shameful neglect of the cure, be the more scandalous or more +astonishing. + +After having, however, gloriously regaled myself with this food, I was +washing it down with some good claret with my wife and her friend, in +the cabin, when the captain's valet-de-chambre, head cook, house and +ship steward, footman in livery and out on't, secretary and fore-mast +man, all burst into the cabin at once, being, indeed, all but one +person, and, without saying, by your leave, began to pack half a +hogshead of small beer in bottles, the necessary consequence of which +must have been either a total stop to conversation at that cheerful +season when it is most agreeable, or the admitting that polyonymous +officer aforesaid to the participation of it. I desired him therefore to +delay his purpose a little longer, but he refused to grant my request; +nor was he prevailed on to quit the room till he was threatened with +having one bottle to pack more than his number, which then happened to +stand empty within my reach. With these menaces he retired at last, but +not without muttering some menaces on his side, and which, to our great +terror, he failed not to put into immediate execution. + +Our captain was gone to dinner this day with his Swiss brother; +and, though he was a very sober man, was a little elevated with some +champagne, which, as it cost the Swiss little or nothing, he dispensed +at his table more liberally than our hospitable English noblemen put +about those bottles, which the ingenious Peter Taylor teaches a led +captain to avoid by distinguishing by the name of that generous liquor, +which all humble companions are taught to postpone to the flavor of +methuen, or honest port. + +While our two captains were thus regaling themselves, and celebrating +their own heroic exploits with all the inspiration which the liquor, at +least, of wit could afford them, the polyonymous officer arrived, and, +being saluted by the name of Honest Tom, was ordered to sit down and +take his glass before he delivered his message; for every sailor is by +turns his captain's mate over a cann, except only that captain bashaw +who presides in a man-of-war, and who upon earth has no other mate, +unless it be another of the same bashaws. Tom had no sooner swallowed +his draught than he hastily began his narrative, and faithfully related +what had happened on board our ship; we say faithfully, though from what +happened it may be suspected that Tom chose to add perhaps only five or +six immaterial circumstances, as is always I believe the case, and may +possibly have been done by me in relating this very story, though it +happened not many hours ago. + +No sooner was the captain informed of the interruption which had been +given to his officer, and indeed to his orders, for he thought no time +so convenient as that of his absence for causing any confusion in the +cabin, than he leaped with such haste from his chair that he had like to +have broke his sword, with which he always begirt himself when he walked +out of his ship, and sometimes when he walked about in it; at the same +time, grasping eagerly that other implement called a cockade, which +modern soldiers wear on their helmets with the same view as the ancients +did their crests--to terrify the enemy he muttered something, but so +inarticulately that the word DAMN was only intelligible; he then hastily +took leave of the Swiss captain, who was too well bred to press his stay +on such an occasion, and leaped first from the ship to his boat, and +then from his boat to his own ship, with as much fierceness in his +looks as he had ever expressed on boarding his defenseless prey in the +honorable calling of a privateer. Having regained the middle deck, he +paused a moment while Tom and others loaded themselves with bottles, and +then descending into the cabin exclaimed with a thundering voice, "D--n +me, why arn't the bottles stowed in, according to my orders?" + +I answered him very mildly that I had prevented his man from doing +it, as it was at an inconvenient time to me, and as in his absence, at +least, I esteemed the cabin to be my own. "Your cabin!" repeated he many +times; "no, d--n me! 'tis my cabin. Your cabin! d--n me! I have brought +my hogs to a fair market. I suppose indeed you think it your cabin, and +your ship, by your commanding in it; but I will command in it, d--n +me! I will show the world I am the commander, and nobody but I! Did you +think I sold you the command of my ship for that pitiful thirty pounds? +I wish I had not seen you nor your thirty pounds aboard of her." He then +repeated the words thirty pounds often, with great disdain, and with a +contempt which I own the sum did not seem to deserve in my eye, either +in itself or on the present occasion; being, indeed, paid for the +freight of ---- weight of human flesh, which is above fifty per cent +dearer than the freight of any other luggage, whilst in reality it takes +up less room; in fact, no room at all. + +In truth, the sum was paid for nothing more than for a liberty to six +persons (two of them servants) to stay on board a ship while she sails +from one port to another, every shilling of which comes clear into the +captain's pocket. Ignorant people may perhaps imagine, especially when +they are told that the captain is obliged to sustain them, that their +diet at least is worth something, which may probably be now and then +so far the case as to deduct a tenth part from the net profits on this +account; but it was otherwise at present; for when I had contracted with +the captain at a price which I by no means thought moderate, I had some +content in thinking I should have no more to pay for my voyage; but I +was whispered that it was expected the passengers should find themselves +in several things; such as tea, wine, and such like; and particularly +that gentlemen should stow of the latter a much larger quantity than +they could use, in order to leave the remainder as a present to the +captain at the end of the voyage; and it was expected likewise that +gentlemen should put aboard some fresh stores, and the more of such +things were put aboard the welcomer they would be to the captain. + +I was prevailed with by these hints to follow the advice proposed; and +accordingly, besides tea and a large hamper of wine, with several hams +and tongues, I caused a number of live chickens and sheep to be conveyed +aboard; in truth, treble the quantity of provisions which would have +supported the persons I took with me, had the voyage continued three +weeks, as it was supposed, with a bare possibility, it might. + +Indeed it continued much longer; but as this was occasioned by our being +wind-bound in our own ports, it was by no means of any ill consequence +to the captain, as the additional stores of fish, fresh meat, +butter, bread, &c., which I constantly laid in, greatly exceeded the +consumption, and went some way in maintaining the ship's crew. It is +true I was not obliged to do this; but it seemed to be expected; for the +captain did not think himself obliged to do it, and I can truly say I +soon ceased to expect it of him. He had, I confess, on board a number of +fowls and ducks sufficient for a West India voyage; all of them, as he +often said, "Very fine birds, and of the largest breed." This I believe +was really the fact, and I can add that they were all arrived at the +full perfection of their size. Nor was there, I am convinced, any want +of provisions of a more substantial kind; such as dried beef, pork, +and fish; so that the captain seemed ready to perform his contract, +and amply to provide for his passengers. What I did then was not from +necessity, but, perhaps, from a less excusable motive, and was by no +means chargeable to the account of the captain. + +But, let the motive have been what it would, the consequence was still +the same; and this was such that I am firmly persuaded the whole pitiful +thirty pounds came pure and neat into the captain's pocket, and not only +so, but attended with the value of ten pound more in sundries into +the bargain. I must confess myself therefore at a loss how the epithet +PITIFUL came to be annexed to the above sum; for, not being a pitiful +price for what it was given, I cannot conceive it to be pitiful in +itself; nor do I believe it is thought by the greatest men in the +kingdom; none of whom would scruple to search for it in the dirtiest +kennel, where they had only a reasonable hope of success. How, +therefore, such a sum should acquire the idea of pitiful in the eyes +of the master of a ship seems not easy to be accounted for; since it +appears more likely to produce in him ideas of a different kind. Some +men, perhaps, are no more sincere in the contempt for it which they +express than others in their contempt of money in general; and I am the +rather inclined to this persuasion, as I have seldom heard of either +who have refused or refunded this their despised object. Besides, it is +sometimes impossible to believe these professions, as every action of +the man's life is a contradiction to it. Who can believe a tradesman who +says he would not tell his name for the profit he gets by the selling +such a parcel of goods, when he hath told a thousand lies in order to +get it? Pitiful, indeed, is often applied to an object not absolutely, +but comparatively with our expectations, or with a greater object: in +which sense it is not easy to set any bounds to the use of the word. +Thus, a handful of halfpence daily appear pitiful to a porter, and a +handful of silver to a drawer. The latter, I am convinced, at a polite +tavern, will not tell his name (for he will not give you any answer) +under the price of gold. And in this sense thirty pound may be accounted +pitiful by the lowest mechanic. + +One difficulty only seems to occur, and that is this: how comes it that, +if the profits of the meanest arts are so considerable, the professors +of them are not richer than we generally see them? One answer to this +shall suffice. Men do not become rich by what they get, but by what they +keep. He who is worth no more than his annual wages or salary, spends +the whole; he will be always a beggar let his income be what it will, +and so will be his family when he dies. This we see daily to be the case +of ecclesiastics, who, during their lives, are extremely well provided +for, only because they desire to maintain the honor of the cloth by +living like gentlemen, which would, perhaps, be better maintained by +living unlike them. + +But, to return from so long a digression, to which the use of so +improper an epithet gave occasion, and to which the novelty of the +subject allured, I will make the reader amends by concisely telling +him that the captain poured forth such a torrent of abuse that I very +hastily and very foolishly resolved to quit the ship. + +I gave immediate orders to summon a hoy to carry me that evening to +Dartmouth, without considering any consequence. Those orders I gave in +no very low voice, so that those above stairs might possibly conceive +there was more than one master in the cabin. In the same tone I likewise +threatened the captain with that which, he afterwards said, he feared +more than any rock or quicksand. Nor can we wonder at this when we are +told he had been twice obliged to bring to and cast anchor there before, +and had neither time escaped without the loss of almost his whole cargo. + +The most distant sound of law thus frightened a man who had often, I am +convinced, heard numbers of cannon roar round him with intrepidity. Nor +did he sooner see the hoy approaching the vessel than he ran down again +into the cabin, and, his rage being perfectly subsided, he tumbled on +his knees, and a little too abjectly implored for mercy. + +I did not suffer a brave man and an old man to remain a moment in this +posture, but I immediately forgave him. + +And here, that I may not be thought the sly trumpeter of my own praises, +I do utterly disclaim all praise on the occasion. Neither did the +greatness of my mind dictate, nor the force of my Christianity exact, +this forgiveness. To speak truth, I forgave him from a motive which +would make men much more forgiving if they were much wiser than they +are, because it was convenient for me so to do. + +Wednesday.--This morning the captain dressed himself in scarlet in order +to pay a visit to a Devonshire squire, to whom a captain of a ship is a +guest of no ordinary consequence, as he is a stranger and a gentleman, +who hath seen a great deal of the world in foreign parts, and knows all +the news of the times. + +The squire, therefore, was to send his boat for the captain, but a most +unfortunate accident happened; for, as the wind was extremely rough and +against the hoy, while this was endeavoring to avail itself of great +seamanship in hauling up against the wind, a sudden squall carried off +sail and yard, or at least so disabled them that they were no longer of +any use and unable to reach the ship; but the captain, from the deck, +saw his hopes of venison disappointed, and was forced either to stay on +board his ship, or to hoist forth his own long-boat, which he could not +prevail with himself to think of, though the smell of the venison had +had twenty times its attraction. He did, indeed, love his ship as his +wife, and his boats as children, and never willingly trusted the latter, +poor things! to the dangers of the sea. + +To say truth, notwithstanding the strict rigor with which he preserved +the dignity of his stations and the hasty impatience with which he +resented any affront to his person or orders, disobedience to which he +could in no instance brook in any person on board, he was one of +the best natured fellows alive. He acted the part of a father to his +sailors; he expressed great tenderness for any of them when ill, and +never suffered any the least work of supererogation to go unrewarded by +a glass of gin. He even extended his humanity, if I may so call it, +to animals, and even his cats and kittens had large shares in his +affections. + +An instance of which we saw this evening, when the cat, which had shown +it could not be drowned, was found suffocated under a feather-bed in +the cabin. I will not endeavor to describe his lamentations with more +prolixity than barely by saying they were grievous, and seemed to have +some mixture of the Irish howl in them. Nay, he carried his fondness +even to inanimate objects, of which we have above set down a pregnant +example in his demonstration of love and tenderness towards his boats +and ship. He spoke of a ship which he had commanded formerly, and which +was long since no more, which he had called the Princess of Brazil, as a +widower of a deceased wife. This ship, after having followed the honest +business of carrying goods and passengers for hire many years, did at +last take to evil courses and turn privateer, in which service, to use +his own words, she received many dreadful wounds, which he himself had +felt as if they had been his own. + +Thursday.--As the wind did not yesterday discover any purpose of +shifting, and the water in my belly grew troublesome and rendered me +short-breathed, I began a second time to have apprehensions of wanting +the assistance of a trochar when none was to be found; I therefore +concluded to be tapped again by way of precaution, and accordingly I +this morning summoned on board a surgeon from a neighboring parish, one +whom the captain greatly recommended, and who did indeed perform his +office with much dexterity. He was, I believe, likewise a man of great +judgment and knowledge in the profession; but of this I cannot speak +with perfect certainty, for, when he was going to open on the dropsy +at large and on the particular degree of the distemper under which I +labored, I was obliged to stop him short, for the wind was changed, and +the captain in the utmost hurry to depart; and to desire him, instead +of his opinion, to assist me with his execution. I was now once more +delivered from my burden, which was not indeed so great as I had +apprehended, wanting two quarts of what was let out at the last +operation. + +While the surgeon was drawing away my water the sailors were drawing up +the anchor; both were finished at the same time; we unfurled our sails +and soon passed the Berry-head, which forms the mouth of the bay. + +We had not however sailed far when the wind, which, had though with a +slow pace, kept us company about six miles, suddenly turned about, and +offered to conduct us back again; a favor which, though sorely against +the grain, we were obliged to accept. + +Nothing remarkable happened this day; for as to the firm persuasion +of the captain that he was under the spell of witchcraft, I would not +repeat it too often, though indeed he repeated it an hundred times every +day; in truth, he talked of nothing else, and seemed not only to be +satisfied in general of his being bewitched, but actually to have fixed +with good certainty on the person of the witch, whom, had he lived in +the days of Sir Matthew Hale, he would have infallibly indicted, and +very possibly have hanged, for the detestable sin of witchcraft; but +that law, and the whole doctrine that supported it, are now out of +fashion; and witches, as a learned divine once chose to express himself, +are put down by act of parliament. This witch, in the captain's opinion, +was no other than Mrs. Francis of Ryde, who, as he insinuated, out of +anger to me for not spending more money in her house than she could +produce anything to exchange for, or ally pretense to charge for, had +laid this spell on his ship. + +Though we were again got near our harbor by three in the afternoon, yet +it seemed to require a full hour or more before we could come to our +former place of anchoring, or berth, as the captain called it. On this +occasion we exemplified one of the few advantages which the travelers by +water have over the travelers by land. What would the latter often give +for the sight of one of those hospitable mansions where he is assured +THAT THERE IS GOOD ENTERTAINMENT FOR MAN AND HORSE; and where both may +consequently promise themselves to assuage that hunger which exercise is +so sure to raise in a healthy constitution. + +At their arrival at this mansion how much happier is the state of the +horse than that of the master! The former is immediately led to +his repast, such as it is, and, whatever it is, he falls to it with +appetite. But the latter is in a much worse situation. His hunger, +however violent, is always in some degree delicate, and his food +must have some kind of ornament, or, as the more usual phrase is, +of dressing, to recommend it. Now all dressing requires time, and +therefore, though perhaps the sheep might be just killed before you +came to the inn, yet in cutting him up, fetching the joint, which the +landlord by mistake said he had in the house, from the butcher at two +miles' distance, and afterwards warming it a little by the fire, two +hours at least must be consumed, while hunger, for want of better food, +preys all the time on the vitals of the man. + +How different was the case with us! we carried our provision, our +kitchen, and our cook with us, and we were at one and the same time +traveling on our road, and sitting down to a repast of fish, with which +the greatest table in London can scarce at any rate be supplied. + +Friday.--As we were disappointed of our wind, and obliged to return back +the preceding evening, we resolved to extract all the good we could out +of our misfortune, and to add considerably to our fresh stores of +meat and bread, with which we were very indifferently provided when we +hurried away yesterday. By the captain's advice we likewise laid in some +stores of butter, which we salted and potted ourselves, for our use at +Lisbon, and we had great reason afterwards to thank him for his advice. + +In the afternoon I persuaded my wife whom it was no easy matter for +me to force from my side, to take a walk on shore, whither the gallant +captain declared he was ready to attend her. Accordingly the ladies +set out, and left me to enjoy a sweet and comfortable nap after the +operation of the preceding day. + +Thus we enjoyed our separate pleasures full three hours, when we met +again, and my wife gave the foregoing account of the gentleman whom I +have before compared to Axylus, and of his habitation, to both which she +had been introduced by the captain, in the style of an old friend and +acquaintance, though this foundation of intimacy seemed to her to be no +deeper laid than in an accidental dinner, eaten many years before, at +this temple of hospitality, when the captain lay wind-bound in the same +bay. + +Saturday.--Early this morning the wind seemed inclined to change in our +favor. Our alert captain snatched its very first motion, and got under +sail with so very gentle a breeze that, as the tide was against him, he +recommended to a fishing boy to bring after him a vast salmon and some +other provisions which lay ready for him on shore. + +Our anchor was up at six, and before nine in the morning we had doubled +the Berry-head, and were arrived off Dartmouth, having gone full three +miles in as many hours, in direct opposition to the tide, which only +befriended us out of our harbor; and though the wind was perhaps our +friend, it was so very silent, and exerted itself so little in our +favor, that, like some cool partisans, it was difficult to say whether +it was with us or against us. The captain, however, declared the former +to be the case during the whole three hours; but at last he perceived +his error, or rather, perhaps, this friend, which had hitherto wavered +in choosing his side, became now more determined. The captain then +suddenly tacked about, and, asserting that he was bewitched, submitted +to return to the place from whence he came. Now, though I am as free +from superstition as any man breathing, and never did believe in +witches, notwithstanding all the excellent arguments of my lord +chief-justice Hale in their favor, and long before they were put down by +act of parliament, yet by what power a ship of burden should sail three +miles against both wind and tide, I cannot conceive, unless there was +some supernatural interposition in the case; nay, could we admit that +the wind stood neuter, the difficulty would still remain. So that +we must of necessity conclude that the ship was either bewinded or +bewitched. The captain, perhaps, had another meaning. He imagined +himself, I believe, bewitched, because the wind, instead of persevering +in its change in his favor, for change it certainly did that morning, +should suddenly return to its favorite station, and blow him back +towards the bay. But, if this was his opinion, he soon saw cause to +alter; for he had not measured half the way back when the wind again +declared in his favor, and so loudly, that there was no possibility of +being mistaken. The orders for the second tack were given, and obeyed +with much more alacrity than those had been for the first. We were all +of us indeed in high spirits on the occasion; though some of us a little +regretted the good things we were likely to leave behind us by the +fisherman's neglect; I might give it a worse name, for he faithfully +promised to execute the commission, which he had had abundant +opportunity to do; but nautica fides deserves as much to be proverbial +as ever Punica fides could formerly have done. Nay, when we consider +that the Carthaginians came from the Phoenicians who are supposed to have +produced the first mariners, we may probably see the true reason of +the adage, and it may open a field of very curious discoveries to the +antiquarian. + +We were, however, too eager to pursue our voyage to suffer anything we +left behind us to interrupt our happiness, which, indeed, many agreeable +circumstances conspired to advance. The weather was inexpressibly +pleasant, and we were all seated on the deck, when our canvas began to +swell with the wind. We had likewise in our view above thirty other sail +around us, all in the same situation. Here an observation occurred to +me, which, perhaps, though extremely obvious, did not offer itself +to every individual in our little fleet: when I perceived with what +different success we proceeded under the influence of a superior power +which, while we lay almost idle ourselves, pushed us forward on our +intended voyage, and compared this with the slow progress which we had +made in the morning, of ourselves, and without any such assistance, +I could not help reflecting how often the greatest abilities lie +wind-bound as it were in life; or, if they venture out and attempt to +beat the seas, they struggle in vain against wind and tide, and, if they +have not sufficient prudence to put back, are most probably cast away on +the rocks and quicksands which are every day ready to devour them. + +It was now our fortune to set out melioribus avibus. The wind freshened +so briskly in our poop that the shore appeared to move from us as fast +as we did from the shore. The captain declared he was sure of a wind, +meaning its continuance; but he had disappointed us so often that he had +lost all credit. However, he kept his word a little better now, and we +lost sight of our native land as joyfully, at least, as it is usual to +regain it. + +Sunday.--The next morning the captain told me he thought himself thirty +miles to the westward of Plymouth, and before evening declared that the +Lizard Point, which is the extremity of Cornwall, bore several leagues +to leeward. Nothing remarkable passed this day, except the captain's +devotion, who, in his own phrase, summoned all hands to prayers, which +were read by a common sailor upon deck, with more devout force and +address than they are commonly read by a country curate, and received +with more decency and attention by the sailors than are usually +preserved in city congregations. I am indeed assured, that if any such +affected disregard of the solemn office in which they were engaged, as +I have seen practiced by fine gentlemen and ladies, expressing a kind of +apprehension lest they should be suspected of being really in earnest +in their devotion, had been shown here, they would have contracted the +contempt of the whole audience. To say the truth, from what I observed +in the behavior of the sailors in this voyage, and on comparing it with +what I have formerly seen of them at sea and on shore, I am convinced +that on land there is nothing more idle and dissolute; in their own +element there are no persons near the level of their degree who live in +the constant practice of half so many good qualities. + +They are, for much the greater part, perfect masters of their business, +and always extremely alert, and ready in executing it, without any +regard to fatigue or hazard. The soldiers themselves are not better +disciplined nor more obedient to orders than these whilst aboard; +they submit to every difficulty which attends their calling with +cheerfulness, and no less virtues and patience and fortitude are +exercised by them every day of their lives. All these good qualities, +however, they always leave behind them on shipboard; the sailor out of +water is, indeed, as wretched an animal as the fish out of water; for +though the former hath, in common with amphibious animals, the bare +power of existing on the land, yet if he be kept there any time he never +fails to become a nuisance. The ship having had a good deal of motion +since she was last under sail, our women returned to their sickness, and +I to my solitude; having, for twenty-four hours together, scarce opened +my lips to a single person. This circumstance of being shut up within +the circumference of a few yards, with a score of human creatures, with +not one of whom it was possible to converse, was perhaps so rare as +scarce ever to have happened before, nor could it ever happen to one +who disliked it more than myself, or to myself at a season when I wanted +more food for my social disposition, or could converse less wholesomely +and happily with my own thoughts. To this accident, which fortune opened +to me in the Downs, was owing the first serious thought which I ever +entertained of enrolling myself among the voyage-writers; some of the +most amusing pages, if, indeed, there be any which deserve that name, +were possibly the production of the most disagreeable hours which ever +haunted the author. + +Monday.--At noon the captain took an observation, by which it appeared +that Ushant bore some leagues northward of us, and that we were just +entering the bay of Biscay. We had advanced a very few miles in this bay +before we were entirely becalmed: we furled our sails, as being of +no use to us while we lay in this most disagreeable situation, more +detested by the sailors than the most violent tempest: we were alarmed +with the loss of a fine piece of salt beef, which had been hung in +the sea to freshen it; this being, it seems, the strange property +of salt-water. The thief was immediately suspected, and presently +afterwards taken by the sailors. He was, indeed, no other than a huge +shark, who, not knowing when he was well off, swallowed another piece +of beef, together with a great iron crook on which it was hung, and by +which he was dragged into the ship. I should scarce have mentioned the +catching this shark, though so exactly conformable to the rules and +practice of voyage-writing, had it not been for a strange circumstance +that attended it. This was the recovery of the stolen beef out of the +shark's maw, where it lay unchewed and undigested, and whence, being +conveyed into the pot, the flesh, and the thief that had stolen it, +joined together in furnishing variety to the ship's crew. + +During this calm we likewise found the mast of a large vessel, which the +captain thought had lain at least three years in the sea. It was stuck +all over with a little shell-fish or reptile, called a barnacle, and +which probably are the prey of the rockfish, as our captain calls it, +asserting that it is the finest fish in the world; for which we are +obliged to confide entirely to his taste; for, though he struck the fish +with a kind of harping-iron, and wounded him, I am convinced, to death, +yet he could not possess himself of his body; but the poor wretch +escaped to linger out a few hours with probably great torments. + +In the evening our wind returned, and so briskly, that we ran upwards +of twenty leagues before the next day's [Tuesday's] observation, which +brought us to lat. 47 degrees 42'. The captain promised us a very speedy +passage through the bay; but he deceived us, or the wind deceived him, +for it so slackened at sunset, that it scarce carried us a mile in an +hour during the whole succeeding night. + +Wednesday.--A gale struck up a little after sunrising, which carried us +between three and four knots or miles an hour. We were this day at noon +about the middle of the bay of Biscay, when the wind once more deserted +us, and we were so entirely becalmed, that we did not advance a mile in +many hours. My fresh-water reader will perhaps conceive no unpleasant +idea from this calm; but it affected us much more than a storm could +have done; for, as the irascible passions of men are apt to swell with +indignation long after the injury which first raised them is over, so +fared it with the sea. It rose mountains high, and lifted our poor ship +up and down, backwards and forwards, with so violent an emotion, that +there was scarce a man in the ship better able to stand than myself. +Every utensil in our cabin rolled up and down, as we should have rolled +ourselves, had not our chairs been fast lashed to the floor. In this +situation, with our tables likewise fastened by ropes, the captain and +myself took our meal with some difficulty, and swallowed a little of our +broth, for we spilt much the greater part. The remainder of our dinner +being an old, lean, tame duck roasted, I regretted but little the loss +of, my teeth not being good enough to have chewed it. + +Our women, who began to creep out of their holes in the morning, retired +again within the cabin to their beds, and were no more heard of this +day, in which my whole comfort was to find by the captain's relation +that the swelling was sometimes much worse; he did, indeed, take this +occasion to be more communicative than ever, and informed me of such +misadventures that had befallen him within forty-six years at sea as +might frighten a very bold spirit from undertaking even the shortest +voyage. Were these, indeed, but universally known, our matrons of +quality would possibly be deterred from venturing their tender offspring +at sea; by which means our navy would lose the honor of many a young +commodore, who at twenty-two is better versed in maritime affairs than +real seamen are made by experience at sixty. And this may, perhaps, +appear the more extraordinary, as the education of both seems to be +pretty much the same; neither of them having had their courage tried by +Virgil's description of a storm, in which, inspired as he was, I doubt +whether our captain doth not exceed him. In the evening the wind, which +continued in the N.W., again freshened, and that so briskly that Cape +Finisterre appeared by this day's observation to bear a few miles to the +southward. We now indeed sailed, or rather flew, near ten knots an hour; +and the captain, in the redundancy of his good-humor, declared he would +go to church at Lisbon on Sunday next, for that he was sure of a +wind; and, indeed, we all firmly believed him. But the event again +contradicted him; for we were again visited by a calm in the evening. + +But here, though our voyage was retarded, we were entertained with a +scene, which as no one can behold without going to sea, so no one can +form an idea of anything equal to it on shore. We were seated on the +deck, women and all, in the serenest evening that can be imagined. Not +a single cloud presented itself to our view, and the sun himself was the +only object which engrossed our whole attention. He did indeed set +with a majesty which is incapable of description, with which, while +the horizon was yet blazing with glory, our eyes were called off to the +opposite part to survey the moon, which was then at full, and which in +rising presented us with the second object that this world hath offered +to our vision. Compared to these the pageantry of theaters, or splendor +of courts, are sights almost below the regard of children. We did +not return from the deck till late in the evening; the weather being +inexpressibly pleasant, and so warm that even my old distemper perceived +the alteration of the climate. There was indeed a swell, but nothing +comparable to what we had felt before, and it affected us on the deck +much less than in the cabin. + +Friday.--The calm continued till sun-rising, when the wind likewise +arose, but unluckily for us it came from a wrong quarter; it was S.S.E., +which is that very wind which Juno would have solicited of Aeolus, had +Gneas been in our latitude bound for Lisbon. + +The captain now put on his most melancholy aspect, and resumed his +former opinion that he was bewitched. He declared with great solemnity +that this was worse and worse, for that a wind directly in his teeth +was worse than no wind at all. Had we pursued the course which the wind +persuaded us to take we had gone directly for Newfoundland, if we had +not fallen in with Ireland in our way. Two ways remained to avoid +this; one was to put into a port of Galicia; the other, to beat to the +westward with as little sail as possible: and this was our captain's +election. + +As for us, poor passengers, any port would have been welcome to us; +especially, as not only our fresh provisions, except a great number of +old ducks and fowls, but even our bread was come to an end, and nothing +but sea-biscuit remained, which I could not chew. So that now for the +first time in my life I saw what it was to want a bit of bread. + +The wind however was not so unkind as we had apprehended; but, having +declined with the sun, it changed at the approach of the moon, and +became again favorable to us, though so gentle that the next day's +observation carried us very little to the southward of Cape Finisterre. +This evening at six the wind, which had been very quiet all day, rose +very high, and continuing in our favor drove us seven knots an hour. + +This day we saw a sail, the only one, as I heard of, we had seen in +our whole passage through the bay. I mention this on account of what +appeared to me somewhat extraordinary. Though she was at such a distance +that I could only perceive she was a ship, the sailors discovered that +she was a snow, bound to a port in Galicia. + +Sunday.--After prayers, which our good captain read on the deck with +an audible voice, and with but one mistake, of a lion for Elias, in +the second lesson for this day, we found ourselves far advanced in 42 +degrees, and the captain declared we should sup off Porte. We had not +much wind this day; but, as this was directly in our favor, we made it +up with sail, of which we crowded all we had. We went only at the rate +of four miles an hour, but with so uneasy a motion, continuing rolling +from side to side, that I suffered more than I had done in our whole +voyage; my bowels being almost twisted out of my belly. However, the day +was very serene and bright, and the captain, who was in high spirits, +affirmed he had never passed a pleasanter at sea. + +The wind continued so brisk that we ran upward of six knots an hour the +whole night. + +Monday.--In the morning our captain concluded that he was got into +lat. 40 degrees, and was very little short of the Burlings, as they are +called in the charts. We came up with them at five in the afternoon, +being the first land we had distinctly seen since we left Devonshire. +They consist of abundance of little rocky islands, a little distant from +the shore, three of them only showing themselves above the water. + +Here the Portuguese maintain a kind of garrison, if we may allow it that +name. It consists of malefactors, who are banished hither for a term, +for divers small offenses--a policy which they may have copied from +the Egyptians, as we may read in Diodorus Siculus. That wise people, to +prevent the corruption of good manners by evil communication, built a +town on the Red Sea, whither they transported a great number of their +criminals, having first set an indelible mark on them, to prevent their +returning and mixing with the sober part of their citizens. These +rocks lie about fifteen leagues northwest of Cape Roxent, or, as it +is commonly called, the Rock of Lisbon, which we passed early the next +morning. The wind, indeed, would have carried us thither sooner; but the +captain was not in a hurry, as he was to lose nothing by his delay. + +Tuesday.--This is a very high mountain, situated on the northern side of +the mouth of the river Tajo, which, rising about Madrid, in Spain, and +soon becoming navigable for small craft, empties itself, after a long +course, into the sea, about four leagues below Lisbon. + +On the summit of the rock stands a hermitage, which is now in the +possession of an Englishman, who was formerly master of a vessel trading +to Lisbon; and, having changed his religion and his manners, the latter +of which, at least, were none of the best, betook himself to this +place, in order to do penance for his sins. He is now very old, and hath +inhabited this hermitage for a great number of years, during which he +hath received some countenance from the royal family, and particularly +from the present queen dowager, whose piety refuses no trouble or +expense by which she may make a proselyte, being used to say that the +saving one soul would repay all the endeavors of her life. Here we +waited for the tide, and had the pleasure of surveying the face of the +country, the soil of which, at this season, exactly resembles an +old brick-kiln, or a field where the green sward is pared up and set +a-burning, or rather a smoking, in little heaps to manure the land. This +sight will, perhaps, of all others, make an Englishman proud of, and +pleased with, his own country, which in verdure excels, I believe, +every other country. Another deficiency here is the want of large trees, +nothing above a shrub being here to be discovered in the circumference +of many miles. + +At this place we took a pilot on board, who, being the first Portuguese +we spoke to, gave us an instance of that religious observance which is +paid by all nations to their laws; for, whereas it is here a capital +offense to assist any person in going on shore from a foreign vessel +before it hath been examined, and every person in it viewed by the +magistrates of health, as they are called, this worthy pilot, for a very +small reward, rowed the Portuguese priest to shore at this place, beyond +which he did not dare to advance, and in venturing whither he had given +sufficient testimony of love for his native country. + +We did not enter the Tajo till noon, when, after passing several old +castles and other buildings which had greatly the aspect of ruins, we +came to the castle of Bellisle, where we had a full prospect of Lisbon, +and were, indeed, within three miles of it. + +Here we were saluted with a gun, which was a signal to pass no farther +till we had complied with certain ceremonies which the laws of this +country require to be observed by all ships which arrive in this port. +We were obliged then to cast anchor, and expect the arrival of the +officers of the customs, without whose passport no ship must proceed +farther than this place. + +Here likewise we received a visit from one of those magistrates of +health before mentioned. He refused to come on board the ship till every +person in her had been drawn up on deck and personally viewed by him. +This occasioned some delay on my part, as it was not the work of a +minute to lift me from the cabin to the deck. The captain thought my +particular case might have been excused from this ceremony, and that +it would be abundantly sufficient if the magistrate, who was obliged +afterwards to visit the cabin, surveyed me there. But this did not +satisfy the magistrate's strict regard to his duty. When he was told +of my lameness, he called out, with a voice of authority, "Let him +be brought up," and his orders were presently complied with. He was, +indeed, a person of great dignity, as well as of the most exact fidelity +in the discharge of his trust. Both which are the more admirable as his +salary is less than thirty pounds English per annum. + +Before a ship hath been visited by one of those magistrates no person +can lawfully go on board her, nor can any on board depart from her. This +I saw exemplified in a remarkable instance. The young lad whom I have +mentioned as one of our passengers was here met by his father, who, on +the first news of the captain's arrival, came from Lisbon to Bellisle +in a boat, being eager to embrace a son whom he had not seen for many +years. But when he came alongside our ship neither did the father dare +ascend nor the son descend, as the magistrate of health had not yet been +on board. Some of our readers will, perhaps, admire the great caution of +this policy, so nicely calculated for the preservation of this country +from all pestilential distempers. Others will as probably regard it as +too exact and formal to be constantly persisted in, in seasons of the +utmost safety, as well as in times of danger. I will not decide either +way, but will content myself with observing that I never yet saw or +heard of a place where a traveler had so much trouble given him at his +landing as here. The only use of which, as all such matters begin and +end in form only, is to put it into the power of low and mean fellows +to be either rudely officious or grossly corrupt, as they shall see +occasion to prefer the gratification of their pride or of their avarice. + +Of this kind, likewise, is that power which is lodged with other +officers here, of taking away every grain of snuff and every leaf +of tobacco brought hither from other countries, though only for the +temporary use of the person during his residence here. This is executed +with great insolence, and, as it is in the hands of the dregs of the +people, very scandalously; for, under pretense of searching for tobacco +and snuff, they are sure to steal whatever they can find, insomuch that +when they came on board our sailors addressed us in the Covent-garden +language: "Pray, gentlemen and ladies, take care of your swords and +watches." Indeed, I never yet saw anything equal to the contempt and +hatred which our honest tars every moment expressed for these Portuguese +officers. + +At Bellisle lies buried Catharine of Arragon, widow of prince Arthur, +eldest son of our Henry VII, afterwards married to, and divorced from +Henry VIII. Close by the church where her remains are deposited is +a large convent of Geronymites, one of the most beautiful piles of +building in all Portugal. + +In the evening, at twelve, our ship, having received previous visits +from all the necessary parties, took the advantage of the tide, and +having sailed up to Lisbon cast anchor there, in a calm and moonshiny +night, which made the passage incredibly pleasant to the women, who +remained three hours enjoying it, whilst I was left to the cooler +transports of enjoying their pleasures at second-hand; and yet, cooler +as they may be, whoever is totally ignorant of such sensation is, at the +same time, void of all ideas of friendship. + +Wednesday.--Lisbon, before which we now lay at anchor, is said to be +built on the same number of hills with old Rome; but these do not all +appear to the water; on the contrary, one sees from thence one vast high +hill and rock, with buildings arising above one another, and that in so +steep and almost perpendicular a manner, that they all seem to have but +one foundation. + +As the houses, convents, churches, &c., are large, and all built with +white stone, they look very beautiful at a distance; but as you approach +nearer, and find them to want every kind of ornament, all idea of beauty +vanishes at once. While I was surveying the prospect of this city, +which bears so little resemblance to any other that I have ever seen, a +reflection occurred to me that, if a man was suddenly to be removed from +Palmyra hither, and should take a view of no other city, in how +glorious a light would the ancient architecture appear to him! and what +desolation and destruction of arts and sciences would he conclude had +happened between the several eras of these cities! + +I had now waited full three hours upon deck for the return of my man, +whom I had sent to bespeak a good dinner (a thing which had been long +unknown to me) on shore, and then to bring a Lisbon chaise with him to +the seashore; but it seems the impertinence of the providore was not yet +brought to a conclusion. At three o'clock, when I was from emptiness, +rather faint than hungry, my man returned, and told me there was a new +law lately made that no passenger should set his foot on shore without +a special order from the providore, and that he himself would have +been sent to prison for disobeying it, had he not been protected as the +servant of the captain. He informed me likewise that the captain had +been very industrious to get this order, but that it was then the +providore's hour of sleep, a time when no man, except the king himself, +durst disturb him. + +To avoid prolixity, though in a part of my narrative which may be more +agreeable to my reader than it was to me, the providore, having at last +finished his nap, dispatched this absurd matter of form, and gave me +leave to come, or rather to be carried, on shore. + +What it was that gave the first hint of this strange law is not easy +to guess. Possibly, in the infancy of their defection, and before their +government could be well established, they were willing to guard +against the bare possibility of surprise, of the success of which bare +possibility the Trojan horse will remain for ever on record, as a great +and memorable example. Now the Portuguese have no walls to secure them, +and a vessel of two or three hundred tons will contain a much larger +body of troops than could be concealed in that famous machine, though +Virgil tells us (somewhat hyperbolically, I believe) that it was as big +as a mountain. + +About seven in the evening I got into a chaise on shore, and was driven +through the nastiest city in the world, though at the same time one of +the most populous, to a kind of coffee-house, which is very pleasantly +situated on the brow of a hill, about a mile from the city, and hath +a very fine prospect of the river Tajo from Lisbon to the sea. Here we +regaled ourselves with a good supper, for which we were as well charged +as if the bill had been made on the Bath-road, between Newbury and +London. + +And now we could joyfully say, + + Egressi optata Troes potiuntur arena. + +Therefore, in the words of Horace, + + --hie Finis chartaeque viaeque. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Journal of A Voyage to Lisbon, by Henry Fielding + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE TO LISBON *** + +***** This file should be named 1146.txt or 1146.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/4/1146/ + +Produced by Charles Keller + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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