diff options
Diffstat (limited to '11405-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 11405-0.txt | 1526 |
1 files changed, 1526 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/11405-0.txt b/11405-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b5fa10d --- /dev/null +++ b/11405-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1526 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 *** + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustration. + See 11405-h.htm or 11405-h.zip: + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h/11405-h.htm) + or + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h.zip) + + + + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + +VOL. 12, NO. 342.] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1828. [PRICE 2d. + + + + * * * * * + + + +[Illustration: COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL. ] + + +COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL. + + +From the Druids' Temple, at Abury, (our last engraving,) to the Council +Office, at Whitehall, is a long stride in the march of time. From "grave +to gay, and lively to severe," is nothing to it; but variety is the +public dictum; and with more sincerity than the courtier in _Tom Thumb_, +we say to the public, + + + "Whate'er your majesty shall please to name, + Long cut or short cut, to us' tis all the same." + + +On the annexed page is represented the new splendid range of buildings, +including the _Council Office_, _Board of Trade_, &c. at +Whitehall. The architect, Mr. Soane, has adapted the façade from the +Temple of Jupiter Stator, at Rome.[1] + +But Mr. Soane's adaptation has been only partial, and he has adhered +merely to the details of the columns and entablature. "The façade," it is +well observed in an early Number of the _Athenaeum_, "enjoys one of +the most favourable sites for the display of a public building which the +metropolis affords; no limit has been set to the expense; the finest +materials the country yields have been used in its construction; the +richest example of the richest order which antiquity has left us, has +been lavishly employed in its decoration; and yet," continues the critic, +"is not the whole a failure?" He then describes the effect of it as "poor, +or at best but pretty," and attributes the absence of grandeur to the +"want of sufficient elevation."--"To the general elevation it may be +objected, that it has no prominent centre; that, composed of two wings +and an intermediate space receding, it has more the character of a flank +than a front building; and that the want of a central entrance derogates +greatly from its dignity as a principal façade." + +But we are mere amateurs in these matters, and it will be as well to +leave the remainder of this criticism to the more studious reader. We +have, however, glanced at the principal defects which the writer in the +_Athenaeum_ points out, and we are bound to admit the justice of his +remarks. The details which produce this effect would not be so generally +interesting. "The order itself," says he, "it must be admitted, is well +copied, and excellently executed;" but Mr. Soane's application of it is +loudly censured--a Roman temple being inappropriate for a British Council +Office. Perhaps our critic would have preferred a façade like that of the +Palais de Justice at Paris,--a platform, ascended by an immense flight of +steps, which serves as a basement for a projecting body of four Doric +columns; with four large pedestals in front, and statues of _Strength_, +_Plenty_, _Justice_, and _Prudence_, as the cardinal virtues of English +legislation and trade. + +Upon the whole, we cannot help thinking some of the details of this new +range extremely rich and pleasing, although we assent to the above +character of their general effect. The columns, of fluted Corinthian, and +the cornice of the order, are to us very beautiful; but the upper windows +are unsightly, or, as a wag would say, purely attic; and the entrances +are too strictly _official_ for the architecture of the building. +This brings us again to the inappropriateness of the adaptation, which +made these introductions unavoidable.[2] + +The front of the building is not completed, the northern wing having yet +to be erected. When this is finished, the effect may be materially +assisted. + +While we are in this quarter, and lest "we may never come again," it may +be as well to thank our correspondent, "An Architect," for his letter on +"Whitehall," a very small portion of which has ever been completed. What +has been finished--the Banqueting House--is one of the triumphs of Inigo +Jones, but like all human works, is sadly dilapidated; although this is +attributable to the bad material, rather than to the interval since its +erection. The _whole_ was, indeed, a magnificent design. + + [1] The portion of this temple which is still standing in the Campo + Vaccino, and which consists of three marble columns, with a + fragment of entablature, is universally acknowledged to be the + finest specimen, not only of the architecture of the Augustan + age, but of the Corinthian order, not merely in Rome, but + throughout the whole ancient world. Whether contemplated in the + original, or through the medium of drawings, it inspires + unequivocal admiration as a perfect model of the florid style: + and from the inferences deducible from the dimensions and + relative position of the three columns and their entablature, + it is clear that the elegance and propriety of their arrangement, + as members of an entire edifice, were equal to the grace of the + proportions of the still existing parts, and to the beauty, + however exquisite, of their enrichments. + + [2] One of the most characteristic buildings recently erected in + the metropolis, was the ill-fated _Brunswick Theatre_, the + propriety of whose facade was universally acknowledged. + + * * * * * + + +CROMLECH. + +(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.) + + +In No. 328 of the MIRROR, you mistake in spelling _cromlech_; the +last syllable is always written _lech_, not _leh_; neither is +it derived from _crom_ and _leac_, the Irish, but from _crom_ and _llech_, +the Celtic, of which the Irish is the most corrupted, and the present +Welsh the most pure dialect. _Llech_ signifies a stone in Welsh, and is +pronounced in a way peculiar to the Welsh; when simple it is _llech_, +when compounded _lech_. + +RUPERT C. + + * * * * * + + +GARDEN OF HYACINTHS + +IN THE SERAGLIO, CONSTANTINOPLE. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + +In this garden the sultan passes most of his leisure hours, free from the +outward parade attendant on his rank. It is small, but tastefully +disposed in oblong beds, edged with fine porcelain; no plant is allowed +to grow in it except the hyacinth; whence the name of the garden and the +apartment it contains. Nothing can be more beautiful than the interior; +three sides are formed by a divan, the cushions and pillows of which were +of black satin, exquisitely embroidered. The floor was covered with +Gobelin tapestry, and the ceiling magnificently gilded and burnished. +Opposite the windows of the chamber was a fire-place, in the European +manner; and on each side a door, covered with hangings of crimson cloth. +Between each of these doors appeared a glass-case, containing the sultan's +private library; every volume was in manuscript, with the name written +on the edges of the leaves. Opposite the doors and fire-place hung three +gold cages, containing artificial birds, which sang by mechanism. On one +side was a raised bench, on which was placed an embroidered towel, a +splendid vase, and basin for washing the hands and beard; upon the wall +over it was suspended an embroidered portfolio, worked with silver on +yellow leather, to contain the petitions presented to the sultan when he +goes in procession to the mosque. Close to the door was placed a pair of +yellow boots and slippers, which are always at the entrance of every +apartment frequented by the sultan. Groups of arms, such as pistols, +sabres, and poniards, were displayed with great taste and effect on the +compartments of the walls; the handles were covered with diamonds and +jewels of large size, which, as they glittered around, gave an almost +dazzling brilliancy to this sumptuous chamber, thus characterizing the +amusements of the man when divested of the ceremony and formality of the +sultan. + +INA. + + * * * * * + + + +NEEDLE-WORK ALTAR-PIECE. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +The town of Welwyn, Hertfordshire, was the last place of residence of Dr. +Young, author of "Night Thoughts," where he was rector. His pious lady +employed her leisure hours with her needle, in the completion of a most +elegant altar-piece, which now embellishes the sacramental table in the +church; and, through the care of the parish clerk, this specimen of the +indefatigable mind of Mrs. Young has been surprisingly preserved. The +words down the centre, + + + I AM + THE BREAD + OF + LIFE, + + +have the appearance of being the production of a most masterly pencil; +and the word "life" is in as fine a state of preservation as on the day +when it was first presented by the benevolent artist; every tint, +including the light and shade which surround the word, having withstood +the ravages of time, and been ingeniously preserved by a kind of gauze +covering. + +W.G.C. + + * * * * * + + +LOCUSTS AND WILD HONEY. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + +It has not been till lately that any of the travellers into Palestine +have told what was meant by the locusts mentioned by St. Matthew as part +of the food of John the Baptist. Dr. Clarke first related, that a tree +grows in the Holy Land, which is called the locust tree, and produces an +eatable fruit; but this fact was well known to many who had been in the +Mediterranean. The tree grows in several of the countries which border +that sea. It has been found in much greater abundance in some parts of +the East Indies, whence it has now become an article of export. Many +thousands of its pods are annually imported by the East India Company; +and, either because the fruit is richer in more southern climates, or for +some other reason, a great quantity of them are shipped for Venice and +Trieste, where there is distilled from them a liquor, which is supposed +to be an antidote to the plague, or at least useful in curing it. These +pods are about twenty inches long, and from half to three-quarters of an +inch in diameter. We call them pods for want of a term which would more +accurately describe them; but they are not flat, neither have they that +sort of hinge on one side, and slight fastening on the other, which +plainly show how the shells of peas and beans are to be opened. On the +contrary, these are round; but there are two opposite lines along them, +where the colour alone would induce any one to suppose the skin to be, as +it is, thinner than elsewhere. Having the fruit before us only in a dry +state, we can describe it in no other; but at present a knife could +scarcely be made to penetrate the thicker part, and does not very easily +make its way into the thinner. The fruit, which lies in little cells +within, is a pulp, or paste, somewhat like that of tamarinds, but +smoother, and not so sweet. There are pips in it nearly as hard, and +about half as large, as those of a tamarind, containing a kernel in each. +It should be added, that in the stems of this locust tree wild bees still +deposit their honey. + +W.G.C. + + * * * * * + + + +FLOWERS. + +(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.) + + +On reading the MIRROR, No. 337, my attention was attracted to one of your +many pleasant and amusing extracts from the "Public Journals," bearing +the title of "Flowers." Being myself a great admirer of that beautiful +and delightful part of creation, I was led to peruse the article with +somewhat increased attention. In all ages flowers have been regarded with +peculiar sympathy; they have been associated with the calm serenity of +virtue; they have been strewed around the altars of devotion; have been +made to accompany the lonely, unobtrusive works of merit; and hung around +the grave of faded and departed innocence, thus silently, but powerfully, +depicting virtue, the essence of felicity. Although I do not consider you +to be accountable for statements contained in the articles extracted from +other journals, still I presume you would not knowingly make your work +the vehicle of any matter which would lead your readers astray. I have, +therefore, ventured to call your attention to a particular part of the +above article, and to correct what I presume to be a misstatement. + +In the article alluded to, the writer states, "It has been said that +flowers placed in bed-rooms are not wholesome; that cannot," he remarks, +"be meant of such as are in a state of vegetation," &c. + +Now plants, it is well known, respire similarly to animals, through the +pores of their leaves. By the agency of the sun, during the day, a +quantity of pure gas, called oxygen, is given out; but on the contrary, +during the night, or absence of the sun, gas of a most noxious and +pernicious nature is emitted, and at the same time a portion of the pure +air (oxygen gas) is absorbed. The greater part of the atmosphere must +therefore be impregnated with this deleterious gas. Taking into +consideration the confined state of a bed-chamber, the great increase of +perspiration of the body, with the continual increase of carbonic gas +from respiration, and this in an apartment where every thing _ought_ +most sedulously to be avoided which in the least tends to deteriorate the +atmosphere, it must be evident the practice ought to be avoided, if we +are desirous of preserving health. + +Flowers in a state of vegetation are, I consider, more pernicious _at +night_, or during the absence of the sun, than those plucked and put +into water, provided they be not immersed too long a time; for +immediately the stem is severed from the plant, the vital action, if it +may be so termed, ceases, and decomposition commences; but till the +decomposition has been going on some time, nothing of a pernicious nature +need be apprehended. In like manner, directly the vital principle becomes +extinct in animals, decomposition ensues. For the space of five or six +days, however, no perceptible alteration of the fibres is visible; but +after that time a compound of gases begins to exhale from the body, +accompanied with a fetid odour, till the parts are entirely decomposed. + +The effluvium arising from the _farina_ and _petals_ is +considered unwholesome, however agreeable it may be to the senses, +whether the plant be in a state of vegetation or not, it being too +powerful for the olfactory nerve. + +S.S.T. + +Our pages are always open to the correction of our readers, and in +this instance we thank _S.S.T._ for the above, although we think he +has misconceived some portion of the article on "Flowers," the writer +adding to that passage quoted by our correspondent, "_provided fresh +air is frequently introduced_"; of course, he does not refer to the +_night-time_, although it would have been clearer, had he suggested the +removal of flowers from bed-rooms during the night.--ED. + + * * * * * + + +CIRCULAR TEMPLES. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + +These structures are generally supposed to have been built with +astronomical allusions, especially the noble temple at _Stonehenge_. +Circular temples existed among the Israelites. In Exodus, c. xxiv. v. 4, +it is written that "Moses rose up early in the morning, and builded an +altar under the hill, and twelve pillars." Again in Joshua, iv. 9, Joshua +set up twelve stones; and it is well worthy of remark, that the twelve +pillars of Moses and Joshua correspond with the number of stones of the +inner circles at Abury. It is possible that these stones were plastered +over, and probably highly ornamented, as in Deuteronomy, xxvii. 2, we +read, "Thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with +plaster;" and there is a large, upright stone in Ireland, which, +according to the legend of the country, was once covered over with gold. +On some of these pillars it is likewise probable that certain characters +were traced, as among the Israelites words of the law were written upon +similar obelisks or columns. + +The earliest temples in Greece were formed of obeliscal columns; and in +some parts of Africa the custom obtains to this day. Hence the pillars of +our present temples are the most ancient; and subsequent builders of holy +sanctuaries filled up the intercolumniations till the temples were +constructed as we now see their ruins in Athens and elsewhere. But many +of the early temples were round; and it is a curious fact, hitherto +unnoticed, I believe, that the altar end, the sanctum of our earliest +Saxon churches, is circular. + +JAMES SILVESTER. + + * * * * * + + +ST. OLAVE.--A MANX LEGEND. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + +[Magnus, King of Norway, having committed sacrilege, by opening the grave +of St. Olave, he was commanded by the spirit of the offended saint to +perform the voluntary penance of quitting the kingdom in thirty days. He +obeyed this intimation, and immediately left Norway. Having conquered +many of the Western Isles, at length he established himself in the Isle +of Man. Afterwards attempting the reduction of Ireland, he was surrounded +by the natives and slain, with the whole of his followers.] + + + Olave, of rocky Norway's saints, the holiest and the best, + Entomb'd in tumulus, enjoys a calm and peerless rest; + By all of heav'ns votaries in saintly rank renown'd, + As high in blessedness, and chief in holy missal crown'd. + + The dead--in holy, stilly peace, the sacred dead repose, + Afar from earth's turmoil and grief, and all of sick'ning woes; + From racking pain, and withering pride, and avarice's care, + Secure they rest in solitude, unaw'd by sin or snare. + + To sack the gloomy sepulchre of lately living clay, + From cheerful day and life remov'd, by dreaded death away, + Is crime indeed of blackest hue, deserving exile's fate, + From native climes ordain'd to feel an outlaw's dreary state. + + Could Norway's priest-despising chief, deem sacrilege a crime + Fitting for absolution,--or dark penance of set time + That daring such all dreaded sin, he gazes on the grave, + And tramples o'er the hallow'd dust of canoniz'd Olave. + + Lone sepulchre in holy earth--sure wickedness so dire, + Of holy man, and sacred place, incenses heaven's ire; + Can less than ever banishment from Norway's ice bound land, + Stay sure revenge--pursuing fate--and justice' awful hand? + + Away he sails--the foaming seas as Corsair now he laves, + Dauntless--heroic--daring winds, and man-entombing waves, + To visit other lands afar,--to combat chiefs of fame; + In battle-field to spread around the dread of Norway's name. + + Lone Mona's sea-girt isle he dares with spear and flashing sword, + Usurping regal rule and right by power of pirate horde; + Yet vengeance drear, and dark desert of direst actions, crave + A bloody death, a justice clear, and dark usurper's grave. + + On Erin's lovely land he falls--awarded darksome doom, + When, ruffian-like, he dared profane the saintly Olave's tomb: + He leaves his conquests, kingdoms, crowns, and all of earthly state, + To sleep in loneliness, and fill his dark predicted fate. + + +_Kirk Michael, Isle of Man_. A B.C. + + * * * * * + + + + +THE ANECDOTE GALLERY. + + * * * * * + + +A LIVING ALCHEMIST. + +(_From Sir R. Phillips's Tour_.) + + +At Luton, Beds. Sir Richard hears of an ALCHEMIST, who lives at the +village of Lilley, midway between Luton and Hitchen. The whole of his +interview with this eccentric personage, will doubtless be interesting to +our readers. + +It was four miles out of my road, but I thought a modern alchemist worthy +of a visit, particularly as several inhabitants of Luton gravely assured +me, that he had succeeded in discovering the Philosopher's Stone, and +also the Universal Solvent. The reports about him would have rendered it +culpable not to have hazarded anything for a personal interview. I learnt +that he had been a man of fashion, and at one time largely concerned in +adventures on the turf, but that for many years he had devoted himself to +his present pursuits; while for some time past, he had been inaccessible +and invisible to the world, the house being shut and barricadoed, and the +walls of his grounds protected by hurdles, with spring-guns so planted as +to resist intrusion in every direction. Under these circumstances, I had +no encouragement to go to Lilley, but I thought that even the external +inspection of such premises would repay me for the trouble. At Lilley, +I inquired for his house of various people, and they looked ominous; some +smiled, others shook their heads, and all appeared surprised at the +approach of an apparent visiter to Mr. Kellerman. + +The appearance of the premises did not belie vulgar report. I could not +help shuddering at seeing the high walls of respectable premises, lined +at the top with double tiers of hurdles, and on driving my chaise to the +front of the house, I perceived the whole in a state of horrid +dilapidation. Contrary, however, to my expectation, I found a young man +who appeared to belong to the out-buildings, and he took charge of my +card for his master, and went to the back part of the house to deliver it. +The front windows on the ground-floor and upper stories were entirely +closed by inside shutters, much of the glass was broken, and the premises +appeared altogether as if deserted. I was pleased at the words, "My +master will be happy to see you," and in a minute the front door was +opened, and Mr. Kellerman presented himself.--I lament that I have not +the pencil of Hogarth, for a more original figure never was seen. He was +about six feet high, and of athletic make; on his head was a white +night-cap, and his dress consisted of a long great-coat once green, and +he had a sort of jockey waistcoat with three tiers of pockets. His manner +was extremely polite and graceful, but my attention was chiefly absorbed +by his singular physiognomy. His complexion was deeply sallow, and his +eyes large, black, and rolling. He conducted me into a very large parlour, +with a window looking backward, and having locked the door, and put the +key in his pocket, he desired me to be seated in one of two large arm +chairs covered with sheepskins. The room was a realization of the +well-known picture of Teniers' Alchemist. The floor was covered with +retorts, crucibles, alembics, jars, bottles in various shapes, +intermingled with old books piled upon each other, with a sufficient +quantity of dust and cobwebs. Different shelves were filled in the same +manner, and on one side stood his bed. In a corner somewhat shaded from +the light, I beheld two heads, white, with dark wigs on them; I +entertained no doubt therefore, that among other fancies he was engaged +in re-making the brazen speaking head of Roger Bacon and Albertus. Many +persons might have felt alarmed at the peculiarity of my situation, but +being accustomed to mingle with eccentric characters, and having no fear +from any pretensions of the black art, I was infinitely gratified by all +I saw. + +Having stated the reports which I had heard, relative to his wonderful +discoveries, I told him frankly that mine was a visit of curiosity, and +stated that if what I had heard was matter of fact, the researches of the +ancient chemists had been unjustly derided. He then gave me a history of +his studies, mentioned some men whom I had happened to know in London, +who he alleged had assured him that they had made gold. That having in +consequence examined the works of the ancient alchemists, and discovered +the key which they had studiously concealed from the multitude, he had +pursued their system under the influence of new lights; and after +suffering numerous disappointments, owing to the ambiguity with which +they described their processes, he had, at length, happily succeeded; had +made gold, and could make as much more as he pleased, even to the extent +of paying off the national debt in the coin of the realm. + +I yielded to the declaration, expressed my satisfaction at so +extraordinary a discovery, and asked him, to oblige me so far, as to show +me some of the precious metal which he had made. + +"Not so," said he; "I will show it to no one. I made Lord Liverpool the +offer, that if he would introduce me to the king, I would show it to his +majesty; but Lord Liverpool insolently declined, on the ground that there +was no precedent; and I am therefore determined, that the secret shall +die with me. It is true that, in order to avenge myself of such contempt, +I made a communication to the French ambassador, Prince Polignac, and +offered to go to France, and transfer to the French government, the +entire advantages of the discovery; but after deluding me, and shuffling +for some time, I found it necessary to treat him with the same contempt +as the others." + +I expressed my convictions in regard to the double dealing of men in +office. + +"O," said he, "as to that, every court in Europe well knows that I have +made the discovery, and they are all in confederacy against me; lest by +giving it to any one, I should make that country master of all the +rest--the world, Sir," he exclaimed with great emotion, "is in my hands +and my power." + +Satisfied with this announcement of the discovery of the philosopher's +stone, I now inquired about the sublime alkahest or universal solvent, +and whether he had succeeded in deciphering the enigmatical descriptions +of the ancient writers on that most curious topic. + +"Certainly," he replied, "I succeeded in that several years ago." + +"Then," I proceeded, "have you effected the other great desideratum, the +fixing of mercury?" + +"Than that process," said he, "there is nothing more easy; at the same +time it is proper I should inform you, that there are a class of +impostors, who mistaking the ancient writers, pretend it can be done by +heat; but I can assure you, it can only be effected by water." + +I then besought him to do me the favour, to show me some of his fixed +mercury, having once seen some which had been fixed by cold. + +This proposition, however, he declined, because he said he had refused +others. "That you may, however, be satisfied that I have made great +discoveries, here is a bottle of oil, which I have purified, and rendered +as transparent as spring water. I was offered £10,000. for this discovery; +but I am so neglected, and so conspired against, that I am determined it +and all my other discoveries shall die with me." + +I now inquired, whether he had been alarmed by the ignorance of the +people in the country, so as to shut himself up in so unusual a manner. + +"No," he replied, "not on their account wholly. They are ignorant and +insolent enough; but it was to protect myself against the governments of +Europe, who are determined to get possession of my secret by force. I +have been," he exclaimed, "twice fired at in one day through that window, +and three times attempted to be poisoned. They believed I had written a +book containing my secrets, and to get possession of this book has been +their object. To baffle them, I burnt all that I had ever written, and I +have so guarded the windows with spring-guns, and have such a collection +of combustibles in the range of bottles which stand at your elbow, that I +could destroy a whole regiment of soldiers if sent against me." He then +related, that as a further protection he lived entirely in that room, and +permitted no one to come into the house; while he had locked up every +room except that with patent padlocks, and sealed the key-holes. + +It would be tedious and impossible to follow Mr. Kellerman through a +conversation of two or three hours, in which he enlarged upon the merits +of the ancient alchemists, and on the blunders and impertinent +assumptions of the modern chemists, with whose writings and names it is +fair to acknowledge he seemed well acquainted. He quoted the authorities +of Roger and Lord Bacon, Paracelsus, Boyle, Boerhaave, Woolfe, and others, +to justify his pursuits. As to the term philosopher's stone, he alleged +that it was a mere figure, to deceive the vulgar. He appeared also to +give full credit to the silly story about Dee's assistant, Kelly, finding +some of the powder of projection in the tomb of Roger Bacon at +Glastonbury, by means of which, as was said, Kelly for a length of time +supported himself in princely splendour. + +I inquired whether he had discovered the blacker than black of Apollonius +Tyaneus; and this, he assured me, he had effected; it was itself the +powder of projection for producing gold. + +Amidst all this delusion and illusion on these subjects, Mr. Kellerman +behaved in other respects with great propriety and politeness; and having +unlocked the door, he took me to the doors of some of the other rooms, to +show me how safely they were padlocked; and on taking leave, directed me +in my course towards Bedford. + +In a few minutes, I overtook a man, and on inquiring what the people +thought of Mr. Kellerman, he told me that he had lived with him for seven +years; that he was one of eight assistants whom he kept for the purpose +of superintending his crucibles, two at a time relieving each other every +six hours; that he had exposed some preparations to intense heat for many +months at a time, but that all except one crucible had burst, and that he +called on him to observe, that it contained the true "blacker than black." +The man protested, however, that no gold had ever been made, and that no +mercury had ever been fixed; for he was quite sure, that if he had made +any discovery, he could not have concealed it from the assistants; while, +on the contrary, they witnessed his severe disappointments, at the +termination of his most elaborate experiments. + +On my telling the man that I had been in his room, he seemed much +astonished at my boldness; for he assured me, that he carried a loaded +pistol in every one of his six waistcoat pockets. I learnt also from this +man, that he has or had considerable property in Jamaica; that he has +lived in the premises at Lilley about twenty-three years, and during +fourteen of them pursued his alchemical researches with unremitting +ardour; but for the last few years shut himself up as a close prisoner, +and lived in the manner I have described. + + * * * * * + + + Here lyeth wrapt in clay, + The body of William Wray: + I have no more to say. + + +_Weever's Epitaphs_. + + * * * * * + + + + +Notes of a Reader. + + * * * * * + + +COURT OF CHARLES II. + + +In the last No. of the _Edinburgh Review_, there is an admirably written +article on Hallam's "Constitutional History," not a mere essay, but +somewhat more like a review than usual. It contains an abundance of +florid, bold, and vigorous writing, extending through upwards of 70 +pages. Among the most striking passages we notice a parallel between +Cromwell and Napoleon, drawn with considerable force. But our extract is +from the lighter portion, as the following ludicrous sketches of some of +the enormities of Charles II. "Towards the close of the Protectorate, +many signs indicated that a time of license was at hand. But the +restoration of Charles II rendered the change wonderfully rapid and +violent. A deep and general taint infected the morals of the most +influential classes, and spread itself through every province of +letters. Poetry inflamed the passions; philosophy undermined the +principles; divinity itself, inculcating an abject reverence for the +court, gave additional effect to its licentious example. ... The +favourite duchess stamps about Whitehall, cursing and swearing. The +ministers employ their time at the council board in making mouths at +each other, and taking off each other's gestures for the amusement of +the king. The peers at a conference begin to pommel each other, and to +tear collars and periwigs. A speaker in the House of Commons gives +offence to the court. He is way-laid by a gang of bullies, and his nose +is cut to the bone. ... The second generation of the statesmen of this +reign, were worthy of the schools in which they had been trained, of the +gaming table of Grammont, and the tiring room of Nell ----." This is but +a small portion of the good set terms in which the reviewer illustrates +the licentiousness of the times. Speaking of Clarendon, he says, "Mr. +Hallam scarcely makes sufficient allowance for the wear and tear which +honesty almost necessarily sustains in the friction of political life, +and which in times so rough as those through which Clarendon passed, +must be very considerable. When these are fairly estimated, we think +that his integrity may be allowed to pass muster." Perhaps political +honesty is like Joseph Surface's French plate, or the tinsel spread over +a pair of Birmingham saleshop candlesticks, whose tenderness will not +withstand the wear and tear of conveyance in the purchaser's pocket. But +the oddity of the reviewer's comparisons even puts one in good humour +with their virulence. + + * * * * * + + +STREET SYMPATHIES. + + +During "the season" the veriest stranger who has an eye and ear, and +thoughts, must find in London sufficient to occupy his attention; true, +he may start and sigh, to think that of the busy and enormous multitude +around him, not one would care, if, treading on yonder bit of orange peel, +he should slip off the flagway, and falling beneath the wheel of that +immense coal-wagon, have his thigh crushed to atoms, while you'd be +saying "Jack Robinson." But if he do sigh, the more fool he; first, +because "grieving's a folly," as the old sea song hath it; next because +he is mistaken in supposing that no one would feel interested in his +misfortune. There are two upon the very flagway with him, who would +evince the greatest sympathy in his fate; the one is a surgeon's +apprentice, who, with anxious care, would bear him off to _his_ +hospital, that he might "try his 'prentice hand" to doctor him while +living, and dissect him when dead; and the other is a running reporter to +one of the morning papers, who would with gentle and soothing accents +inquire his name, condition, and abode, to swell the paragraph, and +increase his pay.--_Blackwood's Magazine._ + + * * * * * + + +LINES TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ON THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD. + + + My heart is with you, Bulwer, and portrays + The blessings of your first paternal days; + To clasp the pledge of purest, holiest faith, + To taste one's own and love-born infant's breath, + I know, nor would for worlds forget the bliss. + I've felt that to a father's heart that kiss, + As o'er its little lips you smile and cling, + Has fragrance which Arabia could not bring. + + Such are the joys, ill mock'd in ribald song, + In thought, ev'n fresh'ning life our life-time long, + That give our souls on earth a heaven-drawn bloom; + Without them we are weeds upon a tomb. + + Joy be to thee, and her whose lot with thine, + Propitious stars saw Truth and Passion twine! + Joy be to her who in your rising name + Feels Love's bower brighten'd by the beams of Fame! + I lack'd a father's claim to her--but knew + Regard for her young years so pure and true, + That, when she at the altar stood your bride, + A sire could scarce have felt more sire-like pride. + + +_T. Campbell_. + + * * * * * + + +The Duc de Laval has the character of being a perfect fool. It is said +that on one occasion he talked of having received an anonymous letter, +signed by all the officers of his regiment; that on another, he ordered +ottomans to be placed in the four corners of his octagon +saloon!--_Josephine's Memoirs_. + + * * * * * + + +CAUSE AND EFFECT. + + +Infinite are the consequences which follow from a single, and often +apparently a very insignificant circumstance. Paley himself narrowly +escaped being a baker; here was a decision upon which hung in one scale, +perhaps, the immortal interests of thousands, and, in the other, the +gratification of the taste of the good people of Giggleswick for hot +rolls. Cromwell was near being strangled in his cradle by a monkey; here +was this wretched ape wielding in his paws the destinies of nations. +Then, again, how different in their kind, as well as in their magnitude, +are these consequences from anything that might have been _à priori_ +expected. Henry VIII. is smitten with the beauty of a girl of eighteen; +and ere long, + + + "The Reformation beams from Bullen's eyes." + + +Charles Wesley refuses to go with his wealthy namesake to Ireland, and +the inheritance, which would have been his, goes to build up the +fortunes of a Wellesley instead of a Wesley; and to this decision of a +schoolboy (as Mr. Southey observes) Methodism may owe its existence, and +England its military--and, we trust we may now add, its civil and +political--glory--_Quarterly Rev._ + + * * * * * + + +SERVANTS. + + +A fund has lately been established at Stockholm, from which it is +intended to reward good and faithful servants. The king has contributed +to it 1,000 crowns; the prince royal 500; and the princess royal 300. +This has been suggested as an example worthy of our imitation; many +legacies, &c. have from time to time been bequeathed for the +encouragement of faithful servants in England; some are claimed, but the +majority are shamefully misapplied by those to whom their distribution +has been entrusted. + + * * * * * + + +LONDON LUXURIES. + + +A capital like London is a Maelstrom--an immense whirlpool--whose +gyrations sweep in whatever is peculiarly desirable from the most +distant regions of the empire--so active becomes the love of gain when +set in motion by the love of luxury. We recollect once being on shipboard +to the north of Duncan's Bay Head, and out of sight of land, the nearest +being the Feroe Islands:--we were walking the deck, watching a whale +which was gamboling at some distance, throwing up his huge side to the +sun, and sending ever and anon a sheet of water and foam from his +nostrils. Our thoughts were on Hecla and on the icebergs of the Pole, on +the Scalds of Iceland and the sea-kings of Norway, when a sail hove in +sight: we asked what craft it was--and were answered, "a Gravesend brig +dredging for lobsters." Never was enchantment so effectually +broken--never stage-trick in pantomime more successfully played off. Scene +changes from Feroe and Iceland to the Albion in Aldersgate-street--Exeunt +Scald, champion, and whale--Enter common councilman, turbot, and +lobster-sauce.--_Quarterly Rev._ + + * * * * * + + +THE BEAUTIFUL. + + +To be convinced that, at some period or another of their history, the +Egyptians had conceived a _beau-ideal_ superior to the beautiful +which nature habitually produced in their country, we have only to +examine the young Memnon, at the British Museum, and the heads of many of +the sphinxes which remain.--_Weekly Rev._ + + * * * * * + + +ALGEBRA. + + +Algebra I was charmed with, and found so much pleasure in resolving its +questions, that I have often sat till morning at the engaging work, +without a notion of its being day till I opened the shutters of my +closet. I recommend this study in particular to young gentlemen, and am +satisfied, if they would but take some pains at first to understand it, +they would have so great a relish for its operations, as to prefer them +many an evening to clamorous pleasures; or, at least, not be uneasy for +being alone now and then, since their algebra was with them.--_Life of +John Buncle._ + + * * * * * + + +A LUCKY MATCH. + + +The late Mr. Locke, of Norbury Park, commissioned one Jenkins, a dealer +in pictures, residing at Rome, to send him any piece of sculpture which +might not exceed fifty guineas. Jenkins sent a head of Minerva, which Mr. +Locke, not liking, returned, paying the carriage, and all other expenses. +Nollekens, who was then also at Rome, having purchased a trunk of +Minerva for fifty pounds, upon the return of this head, found that its +proportion and character accorded with his torso. This discovery induced +him to accept an offer made by Jenkins of the head itself; and 220 +guineas to share the profits. After Nollekens had joined the head and +trunk, or, what is called "restored it," which he did at the expense of +twenty guineas more for stone and labour, it proved a most fortunate hit, +for they sold it for the enormous sum of 1,000 guineas! and it is now at +Newby, in Yorkshire.--_Nollekens and his Times._ + + * * * * * + + +NELSON. + + +We received the following little anecdote from a letter of a gentleman +now at the head of the medical profession, with which he favoured us +shortly after perusing Salmonia. "I was (says our friend) at the Naval +Hospital, at Yarmouth, on the morning when Nelson, after the battle of +Copenhagen (having sent the wounded before him,) arrived at the Roads, +and landed on the jutty. The populace soon surrounded him, and the +military were drawn up in the market-place ready to receive him; but +making his way through the crowd, and the dust, and the clamour, he went +straight to the hospital. I went round the wards with him, and was much +interested in observing his demeanour to the sailors; he stopped at every +bed, and to every man he had something kind and cheering to say. At +length, he stopped opposite a bed on which a sailor was lying who had +lost his right arm close to the shoulder-joint, and the following short +dialogue passed between, them:"--_Nelson_. "Well, Jack, what's the +matter with you?"--_Sailor_. "Lost my right arm, your honour."--Nelson +paused, looked down at his own empty sleeve, then at the sailor, +and said playfully, "Well, Jack, then you and I are spoiled for +fishermen--cheer up, my brave fellow." And he passed briskly on to the +next bed; but these few words had a magical effect upon the poor fellow, +for I saw his eyes sparkle with delight as Nelson turned away and pursued +his course through the wards. As this was the only occasion on which I +saw Nelson, I may, possibly, overrate the value of the incident.--_Q. +Rev._ + + * * * * * + + +THE BRITISH ALMANAC. + + +This work, though only in its second year, is too well known to be +benefited by our recommendation. As a compilation, with occasional +originality, it is one of the best executed labours of the Society from +whom it emanates, and who, from the multiplicity of facts here assembled, +may be called "The Society for the" _Condensation_ "of Useful +Knowledge." + +In the Almanac for 1829 we notice several improvements upon that of last +year. The "Remarks on Weather" are valuable; and the "Garden Plants in +Flower" in each month, in themselves extremely interesting, contrast the +unchanging course of nature with the grand revolutions and events of the +column of "Anniversaries." Thus, what different emotions are produced by +reading April 6, "First Abdication of Bonaparte, 1814," and "Primrose +Peerless (_Narcissus biflorus_) in flower." The "Useful Remarks," +though not a new feature in an almanac, are profitable helps to social +duties, especially when drawn from such a source as Owen Feltham's +Resolves--a golden treasury of world-knowledge, which may serve as a +text-book for every family. Among the useful facts we notice the +following:--"By a parliamentary return of the year 1828 we find that the +stamp duty paid upon the almanacs of England amounts to 30,136_l_. 3_s_. +9_d_.--which, the duty being _fifteen-pence_ upon each almanac, exhibits +a circulation of 451,593 annually." + +_Remarks on Weather._ + +"The mean temperature of London is about 2° higher than that of the +surrounding country; the difference exists chiefly in the night, and is +greatest in winter and least in summer." + +"Mr. Howard is of opinion, from a careful comparison of a long series of +observations, that a wet spring is an indication of a dry time for the +ensuing harvest." + +"The greatest depression of temperature in every month happens, all +other circumstances being the same, a short time before sun-rise." + +"There are only two months, namely, July and August, in which, taking +into consideration the power of radiation, vegetation, in certain +situations, is not exposed to a temperature of 32°." + +"The temperature of August is but little reduced, owing to the prevalence +of hot nights. The action of the sun's rays is considerably assisted by +the warm earth which radiates heat into the air; while, in spring, it +absorbs every day a proportion of the heat which the sun produces." + +"_October_--Now that the fruits of the earth are laid in store, the +increase of wet is attended by no injurious effects, the remaining heat +of the earth is preserved from needless expenditure, and guarded from +dissipation, by an increasing canopy of clouds, by which the effect of +radiation is greatly reduced." + +"The comparative warmth of November is owing to the heat given out by +the condensation of the vapour in the atmosphere into rain." + +"The mean temperature of the whole year is not found to vary, in +different years, more than four degrees and a half." + + * * * * * + + +Such as hold superstition sweet to the soul, and love to exercise their +ingenuity in hieroglyphics, the baseless grounds of tea, and lucky dreams +and omens, will find little amusement in the British Almanac; but their +absence is more than supplied by information "which almost every man +engaged in the world requires." + + * * * * * + + + + +THE SKETCH BOOK. + + * * * * * + + +A VISION OF PURGATORY. + +_By William Maginn, Esq._ + + +The churchyard of Inistubber is as lonely a one as you would wish to see +on a summer's day, or avoid on a winter's night. Under the east window of +the church is a mouldering vault of the De Lacys,--a branch of a family +descended from one of the conquerors of Ireland; and there they are +buried, when the allotted time calls them to the tomb. Sir Theodore De +Lacy had lived a jolly, thoughtless life, rising early for the hunt, and +retiring late from the bottle. A good-humoured bachelor who took no care +about the management of his household, provided that the hounds were in +order for his going out, and the table ready on his coming in. As for the +rest,--an easy landlord, a quiet master, a lenient magistrate (except to +poachers,) and a very excellent foreman of a grand jury. He died one +evening while laughing at a story which he had heard regularly thrice a +week for the last fifteen years of his life, and his spirit mingled with +the claret. In former times when the De Lacys were buried, there was a +grand breakfast, and all the party rode over to the church to see the +last rites paid. The keeners lamented; the country people had a wake +before the funeral, and a dinner after it--and there was an end. But +with the march of mind comes trouble and vexation. A man has now-a-days +no certainty of quietness in his coffin--unless it be a patent one. He is +laid down in the grave, and the next morning finds himself called upon to +demonstrate an interesting fact! No one, I believe, admires this ceremony, +and it is not to be wondered at that Sir Theodore De Lacy held it in +especial horror. "I'd like," said he one evening, "to catch one of the +thieves coming after me when I'm dead--By the God of War, I'd break every +bone in his body;--but," he added with a sigh, "as I suppose I'll not be +able to take my own part then, upon you I leave it, Larry Sweeney, to +watch me three days and three nights after they plant me under the sod. +There's Doctor Dickenson there, I see the fellow looking at me--fill your +glass, Doctor--here's your health! and shoot him, Larry, do you hear, +shoot the Doctor like a cock, if he ever comes stirring up my poor old +bones from their roost of Inistubber." "Why, then," Larry answered, +accepting the glass which followed this command, "long life to both your +honours; and it's I that would like to be putting a bullet into Doctor +Dickenson--heaven between him and harm--for hauling your honour away, +as if you was a horse's head, to a bonfire. There's nothing, I 'shure you, +gintlemin, poor as I am, that would give me greater pleasure." "We feel +obliged, Larry" said Sir Theodore, "for your good wishes." "Is it I pull +you out of the grave, indeed!" continued the whipper-in, for such he was, +--"I'd let nobody pull your honour out of any place, saving 'twas +purgatory; and out of that I'd pull you myself, if I saw you going +_there_." "I am of opinion, Larry," said Doctor Dickenson, "you would +turn tail if you saw Sir Theodore on that road. You might go further, and +fare worse, you know." "Turn tail!" replied Larry, "it is I that +wouldn't--I appale to St. Patrick himself over beyond"--pointing to a +picture of the Prime Saint of Ireland, which hung in gilt daubery behind +his master's chair, right opposite to him. To Larry's horror and +astonishment, the picture fixing its eyes upon him, winked with the most +knowing air, as if acknowledging the appeal. "What makes you turn so +white then at the very thought," said the doctor, interpreting the +visible consternation of our hero in his own way. "Nothing particular," +answered Larry; "but a wakeness has come strong over me, gintlemin, and +if you'd have no objection, I'd like to go into the air for a bit." Leave +was of course granted, and Larry retired amid the laughter of the +guests--but as he retreated, he could not avoid casting a glance on the +awful picture--and again the Saint winked, with a most malicious smile. +It was impossible to endure the repeated infliction, and Larry rushed +down the stairs in an agony of fright and amazement. "May be," thought +he, "it might be my own eyes that wasn't quite steady--or the flame of +the candle. But no--he winked at me as plain as ever I winked at Judy +Donaghue of a May morning. What he manes by it I can't say--but there's +no use of thinking about it--no, nor of talking neither, for who' d +believe me if I tould them of it?" + +The next evening Sir Theodore died, as has been mentioned; and in due +time thereafter was buried according to the custom of the family, by +torch-light, in the churchyard of Inistubber. All was fitly performed; +and although Dickenson had no design upon the jovial knight--and if he +had not, there was nobody within fifteen miles that could be suspected +of such an outrage,--yet Larry Sweeney was determined to make good his +promise of watching his master. "I'd think little of telling a lie to him, +by the way of no harm when he was alive," said he, wiping his eyes, as +soon as the last of the train had departed, leaving him with a single +companion in the lonely cemetery; "but now that he's dead--God rest his +soul!--I'd scorn it. So Jack Kinaley, as behoves my first cousin's son, +stay you with me here this blessed night, for betune (between) you and I, +it an't lucky to stay by one's self in this ruinated old rookery, where +ghosts, God help us, is as thick as bottles in Sir Theodore's cellar!" +"Never you mind that, Larry," said Kinaley, a discharged soldier, who had +been through all the campaigns of the Peninsula; "never mind, I say, such +botherations. Han't I lain in bivouack on the field at Salamanca, and +Tallawara, and the Pyrumnees, and many another place beside, where there +was dead corpses lying about in piles, and there was no more ghosts than +kneebuckles in a ridgemint of Highlanders. Here, let me prime them pieces, +and hand us over the bottle; we'll stay snug under this east window, for +the wind's coming down the hill, and I defy"--"None of that bould talk, +Jack," said his cousin; "as for what ye saw in foreign parts, of dead men +killed afighting, sure that's nothing to the dead--God rest 'em!--that's +here. There you see, they had company one with the other, and being +killed fresh-like that morning, had no heart to stir; but here, faith! +'tis a horse of another colour." "May be it is," said Jack, "but the +night's coming on; so I'll turn in. Wake me if you sees any thing; and +after I've got my two hours' rest, I'll relieve you." + +With these words the soldier turned on his side, under shelter of a grave, +and as his libations had been rather copious during the day, it was not +long before he gave audible testimony that the dread of supernatural +visitants had had no effect in disturbing the even current of his fancy. +Although Larry had not opposed the proposition of his kinsman, yet he +felt by no means at ease. He put in practice all the usually recommended +nostrums for keeping away unpleasant thoughts:--all would not do. "If it +was a common, dacent, quite (quiet,) well-behaved churchyard a'self," +thought Larry, half-aloud--"but when 'tis a place like this forsaken ould +berrin'-ground, which is noted for villiany"--"For what, Larry?" said a +gentleman, stepping out of a niche which contained the only statue time +had spared. It was the figure of Saint Colman, to whom the church was +dedicated. Larry had been looking at the figure, as it shone forth in +ebon and ivory in the light and shadow of the now high-careering moon, +"For what, Larry," said the gentleman,--"for what do you say the +churchyard is noted?" "For nothing at all, plase your honour," replied +Larry, "except the height of gentility." The stranger was about four feet +high, dressed in what might be called flowing garments,--if, in spite of +their form, their rigidity did not deprive them of all claim to such an +appellation. He wore an antique mitre upon his head; his hands were +folded upon his breast; and over his right shoulder rested a pastoral +crook. There was a solemn expression in his countenance, and his eye +might truly be called stony. His beard could not be well said to wave +upon his bosom; but it lay upon it in ample profusion, stiffer than that +of a Jew on a frosty morning after mist. In short, as Larry soon +discovered to his horror, on looking up at the niche, it was no other +than Saint Colman himself, who had stept forth, indignant (in all +probability) at the stigma cast by the watcher of the dead on the +churchyard of which his Saintship was patron. He smiled with a grisly +solemnity--just such a smile as you might imagine would play round the +lips of a milestone (if it had any,) at the recantation so quickly +volunteered by Larry. "Well," said he, "Lawrence Sweeney"--"How well the +old rogue," thought Larry, "knows my name!" "Since you profess yourself +such an admirer of the merits of the churchyard of Inistubber, get up and +follow me, till I show you the civilities of the place--for I am master +here, and must do the honours." "Willingly would I go with your worship," +replied our friend; "but you see here I am engaged to Sir Theodore, who, +though a good master, was a mighty passionate man when every thing was +not done as he ordered it; and I am feared to stir." "Sir Theodore," said +the Saint, "will not blame you for following me. I assure you he will +not." "But then," said Larry--"Follow me!" cried the Saint, in a hollow +voice, and casting upon him his stony eye, drew poor Larry after him, as +the bridal guest was drawn by the lapidary glance of the Ancient Mariner; +or, as Larry himself afterwards expressed it, "as a jaw tooth is wrinched +out of an ould woman with a pair of pinchers." The Saint strode before +him in silence, not in the least incommoded by the stones and rubbish, +which at every step sadly contributed to the discomfiture of Larry's +shins, who followed his marble conductor into a low vault, situated at +the west end of the church. The path lay through coffins piled up on each +side of the way in various degrees of decomposition; and, excepting that +the solid footsteps of the saintly guide, as they smote heavily on the +floor of stone, broke the deadly silence, all was still. Stumbling and +staggering along, directed only by the casual glimpses of light afforded +by the moon, where it broke through the dilapidated roof of the vault, +and served to discover only sights of woe, Larry followed. He soon felt +that he was descending, and could not help wondering at the length of the +journey. He began to entertain the most unpleasant suspicions as to the +character of his conductor;--but what could he do? Flight was out of the +question, and to think of resistance was absurd. "Needs must, they say," +thought he to himself, "when the devil drives. I see it's much the same +when a saint, leads." + +At last the dolorous march had an end; and not a little to Larry's +amazement, he found that his guide had brought him to the gate of a lofty +hall, before which a silver lamp, filled with naphtha, "yielded light as +from a sky."--From within loud sounds of merriment were ringing; and it +was evident, from the jocular harmony and the tinkling of glasses, that +some subterraneous catch-club were not idly employed over the bottle. +"Who's there?" said a porter, roughly responding to the knock of Saint +Colman. "Be so good," said the Saint, mildly, "my very good fellow, as to +open the door without further questions, or I'll break your head. I'm +bringing a gentleman here on a visit, whose business is pressing." "May +be so," thought Larry, "but what that business may be, is more than I can +tell." The porter sulkily complied with the order, after having +apparently communicated the intelligence that a stranger was at hand; for +a deep silence immediately followed the tipsy clamour; and Larry, +sticking close to his guide, whom he now looked upon almost as a friend, +when compared with these underground revellers to whom he was about to +be introduced, followed him through a spacious vestibule, which gradually +sloped into a low-arched room, where the company was assembled. And a +strange-looking company it was. Seated round a long table were +three-and-twenty grave and venerable personages, bearded, mitred, stoled, +and croziered,--all living statues of stone, like the Saint who had +walked out of his niche. On the drapery before them were figured the +images of the sun, moon, and stars--the inexplicable bear--the mystic +temple, built by the hand of Hiram--and other symbols, of which the +uninitiated knew nothing. The square, the line, the trowel, were not +wanting, and the hammer was lying in front of the chair. Labour, however, +was over, and the time for refreshment having arrived, each of the stony +brotherhood had a flagon before him; and when we mention that the Saints +were Irish, and that St. Patrick in person was in the chair, it is not to +be wondered at that the mitres, in some instances, hung rather loosely on +the side of the heads of some of the canonized compotators. Among the +company were found St. Senanus of Limerick, St. Declan of Ardmore, St. +Canice of Kilkenny, St. Finbar of Cork, St. Michan of Dublin, St. Brandon +of Kerry, St. Fachnan of Ross, and others of that holy brotherhood; a +vacant place, which completed the four-and-twentieth, was left for St. +Colman, who, as every body knows, is of Cloyne; and he, having taken his +seat, addressed the president, to inform him that he had brought the man. +The man (viz. Larry himself) was awestruck with the company in which he +so unexpectedly found himself; and trembled all over when, on the notice +of his guide, the eight-and-forty eyes of stone were turned directly upon +himself. "You have just nicked the night to a shaving, Larry," said St. +Patrick: "this is our chapter-night, and myself and brethren are here +'assembled on merry occasion.'--You know who I am?" "God bless your +reverence," said Larry, "it's I that do well. Often did I see your +picture hanging over the door of places where it is"--lowering his +voice--"pleasanter to be than here, buried under an ould church." "You +may as well say it out, Larry," said St. Patrick; "and don't think I'm +going to be angry with you about it; for I was once flesh and blood +myself. But you remember, the other night, saying that you would think +nothing of pulling your master out of purgatory, if you could get at him +there, and appealing to me to stand by your words. + +"Y-e-e-s," said Larry, most mournfully; for he recollected the +significant look he had received from the picture. "And," continued St. +Patrick, "you remember also that I gave you a wink, which you know is as +good, any day, as a nod--at least, to a blind horse." "I'm sure, your +reverence," said Larry, with a beating heart, "is too much of a gintleman +to hould a poor man hard to every word he may say of an evening, and +therefore"--"I was thinking so," said the saint, "I guessed you'd prove a +poltroon when put to the push. What do you think, my brethren, I should +do to this fellow?" A hollow sound burst from the bosoms of the unanimous +assembly. The verdict was short and decisive:--"Knock out his brains!" And +in order to suit the action to the word, the whole four-and-twenty arose +at once, and with their immovable eyes fixed firmly on the face of our +hero--who horror struck with the sight as he was, could not close +his--they began to glide slowly but regularly towards him, bending their +line into the form of a crescent, so as to environ him on all sides. In +vain he fled to the door; its massive folds resisted mortal might. In +vain he cast his eyes around in quest of a loophole of retreat--there was +none. Closer and closer pressed on the slowly-moving phalanx, and the +uplifted croziers threatened soon to put their sentence into execution. +Supplication was all that remained--and Larry sunk upon his knees. "Ah! +then," said he, "gintlemin and ancient ould saints as you are, don't kill +the father of a large small family, who never did hurt to you or yours. +Sure, if 'tis your will that I should go to--no matter who, for there's +no use in naming his name--might I not as well make up my mind to go +there, alive and well, stout and hearty, and able to face him,--as with +my head knocked into bits, as if I had been after a fair or a patthern?" +"You say right," said St. Patrick, checking with a motion of his crozier +the advancing assailants, who returned to their seats. "I am glad to see +you coming to reason. Prepare for your journey." "And how, plase your +Saintship, am I to go?" asked Larry. "Why," said St. Patrick, "as Colman +here has guided you so far, he may guide you further. But as the journey +is into foreign parts, where you arn't likely to be known, you had better +take this letter of introduction, which may be of use to you." "And here, +also, Lawrence," said a Dublin Saint--perhaps Michan--"take you this box +also, and make use of it as he to whom you speak shall suggest." "Take a +hold, and a firm one," said St. Colman, "Lawrence, of my cassock, and we' +ll start." "All right behind?" cried St. Patrick. "All right!" was the +reply. In an instant!--vault--table--saints--bell--church, faded into air; +a rustling hiss of wings was all that was heard; and Larry felt his cheek +swept by a current, as if a covey of birds of enormous size were passing +him. (It was, in all probability, the flight of the saints returning to +heaven, but on that point nothing certain has reached us up to the +present time of writing.) He had not a long time to wonder at the +phenomenon, for he himself soon began to soar, dangling in mid sky at the +skirt of the cassock of his sainted guide. Earth, and all that appertains +thereto, speedily passed from his eyes, and they were alone in the midst +of circumfused ether, glowing with a sunless light. Above, in immense +distance, was fixed the firmament, fastened up with bright stars, fencing +around the world with its azure wall. They fled far, before any +distinguishable object met their eyes. At length a long, white streak, +shining like silver in the moonbeam, was visible to their sight. "That," +said St. Colman, "is the Limbo which adjoins the earth, and is the +highway for ghosts departing the world. It is called in Milton, a book +which I suppose, Larry, you never have read"--"And how could I, plase +your worship," said Larry, "seein' I don't know a B from a bull's foot!" +"Well, it is called in Milton the Paradise of Fools: and if it were indeed +peopled by all of that tribe who leave the world, it would contain the +best company that ever figured on the earth. To the north, you see a +bright speck?" "I do." "That marks the upward path,--narrow and hard to +find. To the south you may see a darksome road--broad, smooth, and easy +of descent; that is the lower way. It is thronged with the great ones of +the world; you may see their figures in the gloom. Those who are soaring +upwards are wrapt in the flood of light flowing perpetually from that +single spot, and you cannot see them. The silver path on which we enter +is the Limbo. Here I part with you. You are to give your letter to the +first person you meet. Do your best;--be courageous, but observe +particularly that you profane no holy name, or I will not answer for the +consequences." + +His guide had scarcely vanished, when Larry heard the tinkling of a bell +in the distance, and turning his eyes in the quarter whence it proceeded, +he saw a grave-looking man in black, with eyes of fire, driving before +him a flock of ghosts with a switch, as you see turkeys driven on the +western road, at the approach of Christmas. They were on the highway to +Purgatory. The ghosts were shivering in the thin air, which pinched them +severely, now that they had lost the covering of their bodies. Among the +group, Larry recognised his old master, by the same means that Ulysses, +Aeneas, and others, recognised the bodiless forms of their friends in the +regions of Acheron. "What brings a living person," said the man in black, +"on this pathway? I shall make legal capture of you, Larry Sweeney, for +trespassing. You have no business here." "I have come," said Larry, +plucking up courage, "to bring your honour's glory a letter from a +company of gintlemin with whom I had the pleasure of spending the evening, +underneath the ould church of Inistubber." "A letter," said the man in +black, "where is it?" "Here, my lord," said Larry. "Ho!" cried the black +gentleman, on opening it, "I know the handwriting. It won't do, however, +my lad,--I see they want to throw dust in my eyes." "Whew," thought Larry, +"that's the very thing. 'Tis for that the ould Dublin boy gave me the box. +I'd lay a tinpenny to a brass farthing that it's filled with Lundy Foot." +Opening the box, therefore, he flung its contents right into the fiery +eyes of the man in black, while he was still occupied with reading the +letter,--and the experiment was successful. "Curses--tche-tche-tche,-- +Curses on it," exclaimed he, clapping his hand before his eyes, and +sneezing most lustily.--"Run, you villians, run," cried Larry, to the +ghosts--"run, you villians, now that his eyes are off of you--O master, +master! Sir Theodore, jewel! run to the right-hand side, make for the +bright speck, and God give you luck." + +He had forgotten his injunction. The moment the word was uttered he felt +the silvery ground sliding from under him; and with the swiftness of +thought he found himself on the flat of his back, under the very niche of +the old church wall whence he had started, dizzy and confused with a +measureless tumble. The emancipated ghosts floated in all directions, +emitting their shrill and stridulous cries in the gleaming expanse. Some +were again gathered by their old conductor; some scudding about at +random, took the right hand path, others the left. Into which of them Sir +Theodore struck, is not recorded; but as he had heard the direction, let +us hope that he made the proper choice. Larry had not much time given him +to recover from his fall, for almost in an instant he heard an angry +snorting rapidly approaching, and looking up, whom should he see but the +gentleman in black, with eyes gleaming more furiously than ever, and his +horns (for, in his haste, he had let his hat fall) relieved in strong +shadow against the moon. Up started Larry--away ran his pursuer after him. +The safest refuge was, of course, the church,--thither ran our hero--and +after him--fiercer than the shark, swifter than the hounds--fled the +black gentleman. The church is cleared; the chancel entered; and the hot +breath of his pursuer glows upon the outstretched neck of Larry. Escape +is impossible--the extended talons of the fiend have clutched him by the +hair. "You are mine," cried the demon,--"if I have lost any of my flock, +I have at last got you." "Oh, St. Patrick!" exclaimed our hero, in horror, +--"Oh, St. Patrick have mercy upon me, and save me!" "I tell you what, +cousin Larry," said Kinaley, chucking him up from behind a gravestone, +where he had fallen--"all the St. Patricks that ever were born would not +have saved you from ould Tom Picton, if he caught you sleeping on your +post as I've caught you now. By the word of an ould soldier, he'd have +had the provost-marshal upon you, and I'd not give two-pence for the loan +of your life. And then, too, I see you have drunk every drop in the +bottle. What can you say for yourself?" "Nothing at all," said Larry, +scratching his head,--"but it was an unlucky dream, and I'm glad it's +over."--_Literary Souvenir._ + + * * * * * + + +Ancient Roman Festivals. + +NOVEMBER. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + +The _Epulum Jovis_ was a sumptuous feast offered to Jupiter on the +13th of November. The gods were formally invited, and attended; for the +statues were brought in rich beds, furnished with soft pillows, called +_pulvinaria_. Thus accommodated, their godships were placed on their +couches at the most honourable part of the table, and served with the +rich dainties, as if they were able to eat; but the _epulones_, or +ministers, who had the care and management of the feast, performed that +function for them, and no doubt did the part of _gastronomic proxies_ +with _eclat_. + +The _Brumalia_ was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among the Romans +during the space of thirty days, commencing on the 24th of November. It +was instituted by Romulus, who used, during this time, to entertain the +senate. During this feast indications were taken of the felicity of the +remaining part of the winter. + +P.T.W. + + * * * * * + + + + +The Gatherer. + + + "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." +SHAKSPEARE. + + * * * * * + + +INNOCENT CONFESSION. + + +A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused herself of +using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the confessor. "I do it to +make myself handsomer."--"And does it produce that effect?" "At least +I think so, father."--The confessor on this took his penitent out of the +confessional, and having looked at her attentively in the light, said, +"Well, madam, you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it." + + * * * * * + + +MERCHANT TAILORS. + + +A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the Merchant Tailors' +motto, "_Concordiâ parvae res crescunt_" replied, "Yes, that is to +say, nine tailors make a man." + + * * * * * + + +RABELAIS. + +A JEU D'ESPRIT. + + + In France they say + Lived RABELAIS, + A witty wight, and a right merry fellow. + Who in good company was sometimes mellow: + And, + Although he was a priest, + Thought it no sacramental sin--to feast. + I can't say much for his morality: + But for his immortality, + Good luck! + Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards, + And scarcely a good library's shelf + But boasts acquaintance with the elf. + But now I'll tell you what I should have told before, + A grievous illness brought him nigh _Death's_ door. + Who, bony wight, + Enjoyed the sight-- + And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be + When the jester had joined his company. + + Rab's friends, good folk! + Thought it no joke + To the poor joker; they therefore sent around + For all the Esculapians to be found; + And in a trice + (For doctors always haste to give advice-- + Mind--don't mistake--I mean when there's a fee) + They mustered two--to which add three. + + Now about the bed + Is seen each learned head. + The patient's pulse is felt--with graver air + Each M.D. seats him in a chair. + Crosses his legs--leans on his stick, mums--hahs--and hums + Pulls out his watch--takes snuff--and twirls his thumbs. + At length, + The awful stillness broke-- + As if from silence gathering strength + Most lustily they all did croak, + Their opinions mingling, + In discordant jingling-- + "A purge"--"a blister"--"shave his head" + "Senna and salts"--"a clyster"--"have him bled," + "A pill at noon"--"another pill at night," + "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right." + Thus with purges and blisters, + Pills, bleeding, and clysters, + The poor patient they threatened + Should be deluged and sweatened. + + Unable to endure the riot, + And wishing for a little quiet, + The sickman raised his head, + And said-- + Gentlemen, I do beseech ye, cease your pother, + Nor any more with me your wise heads bother, + Scratching your wigs, + Like sapient pigs; + Whate'er you may decide is my disease, + I humbly do conceive a little ease + From your infernal noise and chatter. + With which I'm dunn'd + And nearly stunn'd, + Would greatly tend to mend the matter; + And if, perforce, I must resign my breath, + For heav'n's sake let me _die_ a NATURAL _death_. + + +P.M. + + * * * * * + + +AN AGITATOR. + + +M. Monchenut, an old man of eighty, afflicted with the palsy, was +arrested during the reign of terror, under suspicion of being an agitator. +Being asked what he had to say to the accusation, "Alas, gentlemen, it is +very true, I am agitated enough, God knows, for I have not been able to +keep a limb still for these fifteen years." + + * * * * * + + +CHINESE POLITENESS. + + +There is one striking particular in which the Chinese politeness is quite +the reverse of ours. To take off their caps when they salute one another, +or even accidentally to appear uncovered, is esteemed the height of ill +breeding and indecency. + +HALBERT H. + + * * * * * + + +PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets are +informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and may be purchased +separately. The whole of the numbers are now in print, and can be +procured by giving an order to any Bookseller or Newsvender. + +Complete sets Vol. I. to XI. in boards, price £2. l9_s_. 6_d_. half bound, +£3. l7_s_. + + * * * * * + + +LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS. + +CHEAP and POPULAR WORKS published at the MIRROR OFFICE in the Strand, +near Somerset House. + +The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS, Embellished with nearly 150 +Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards. + +The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s. + +The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. CANNING. &c. Price 2s. + +PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price l3s. boards. + +COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d boards. + +COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards. + +The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD DISPLAYED Price 5s. +boards. + +BEAUTIES of SCOTT, 2 vols. price 7s. boards. + +The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d. + + +Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts. + +GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d. + +DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d. + +BACON'S ESSAYS Price 8d. + +SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d. + + * * * * * + + +_Printed and Published by J. LAMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset House.) +London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all +Newsmen and Booksellers._ + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 *** |