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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 ***
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+ file which includes the original illustration.
+ See 11405-h.htm or 11405-h.zip:
+ (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h/11405-h.htm)
+ or
+ (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. 12, NO. 342.] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+[Illustration: COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL. ]
+
+
+COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL.
+
+
+From the Druids' Temple, at Abury, (our last engraving,) to the Council
+Office, at Whitehall, is a long stride in the march of time. From "grave
+to gay, and lively to severe," is nothing to it; but variety is the
+public dictum; and with more sincerity than the courtier in _Tom Thumb_,
+we say to the public,
+
+
+ "Whate'er your majesty shall please to name,
+ Long cut or short cut, to us' tis all the same."
+
+
+On the annexed page is represented the new splendid range of buildings,
+including the _Council Office_, _Board of Trade_, &c. at
+Whitehall. The architect, Mr. Soane, has adapted the façade from the
+Temple of Jupiter Stator, at Rome.[1]
+
+But Mr. Soane's adaptation has been only partial, and he has adhered
+merely to the details of the columns and entablature. "The façade," it is
+well observed in an early Number of the _Athenaeum_, "enjoys one of
+the most favourable sites for the display of a public building which the
+metropolis affords; no limit has been set to the expense; the finest
+materials the country yields have been used in its construction; the
+richest example of the richest order which antiquity has left us, has
+been lavishly employed in its decoration; and yet," continues the critic,
+"is not the whole a failure?" He then describes the effect of it as "poor,
+or at best but pretty," and attributes the absence of grandeur to the
+"want of sufficient elevation."--"To the general elevation it may be
+objected, that it has no prominent centre; that, composed of two wings
+and an intermediate space receding, it has more the character of a flank
+than a front building; and that the want of a central entrance derogates
+greatly from its dignity as a principal façade."
+
+But we are mere amateurs in these matters, and it will be as well to
+leave the remainder of this criticism to the more studious reader. We
+have, however, glanced at the principal defects which the writer in the
+_Athenaeum_ points out, and we are bound to admit the justice of his
+remarks. The details which produce this effect would not be so generally
+interesting. "The order itself," says he, "it must be admitted, is well
+copied, and excellently executed;" but Mr. Soane's application of it is
+loudly censured--a Roman temple being inappropriate for a British Council
+Office. Perhaps our critic would have preferred a façade like that of the
+Palais de Justice at Paris,--a platform, ascended by an immense flight of
+steps, which serves as a basement for a projecting body of four Doric
+columns; with four large pedestals in front, and statues of _Strength_,
+_Plenty_, _Justice_, and _Prudence_, as the cardinal virtues of English
+legislation and trade.
+
+Upon the whole, we cannot help thinking some of the details of this new
+range extremely rich and pleasing, although we assent to the above
+character of their general effect. The columns, of fluted Corinthian, and
+the cornice of the order, are to us very beautiful; but the upper windows
+are unsightly, or, as a wag would say, purely attic; and the entrances
+are too strictly _official_ for the architecture of the building.
+This brings us again to the inappropriateness of the adaptation, which
+made these introductions unavoidable.[2]
+
+The front of the building is not completed, the northern wing having yet
+to be erected. When this is finished, the effect may be materially
+assisted.
+
+While we are in this quarter, and lest "we may never come again," it may
+be as well to thank our correspondent, "An Architect," for his letter on
+"Whitehall," a very small portion of which has ever been completed. What
+has been finished--the Banqueting House--is one of the triumphs of Inigo
+Jones, but like all human works, is sadly dilapidated; although this is
+attributable to the bad material, rather than to the interval since its
+erection. The _whole_ was, indeed, a magnificent design.
+
+ [1] The portion of this temple which is still standing in the Campo
+ Vaccino, and which consists of three marble columns, with a
+ fragment of entablature, is universally acknowledged to be the
+ finest specimen, not only of the architecture of the Augustan
+ age, but of the Corinthian order, not merely in Rome, but
+ throughout the whole ancient world. Whether contemplated in the
+ original, or through the medium of drawings, it inspires
+ unequivocal admiration as a perfect model of the florid style:
+ and from the inferences deducible from the dimensions and
+ relative position of the three columns and their entablature,
+ it is clear that the elegance and propriety of their arrangement,
+ as members of an entire edifice, were equal to the grace of the
+ proportions of the still existing parts, and to the beauty,
+ however exquisite, of their enrichments.
+
+ [2] One of the most characteristic buildings recently erected in
+ the metropolis, was the ill-fated _Brunswick Theatre_, the
+ propriety of whose facade was universally acknowledged.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CROMLECH.
+
+(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.)
+
+
+In No. 328 of the MIRROR, you mistake in spelling _cromlech_; the
+last syllable is always written _lech_, not _leh_; neither is
+it derived from _crom_ and _leac_, the Irish, but from _crom_ and _llech_,
+the Celtic, of which the Irish is the most corrupted, and the present
+Welsh the most pure dialect. _Llech_ signifies a stone in Welsh, and is
+pronounced in a way peculiar to the Welsh; when simple it is _llech_,
+when compounded _lech_.
+
+RUPERT C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+GARDEN OF HYACINTHS
+
+IN THE SERAGLIO, CONSTANTINOPLE.
+
+(_For the Mirror._)
+
+
+In this garden the sultan passes most of his leisure hours, free from the
+outward parade attendant on his rank. It is small, but tastefully
+disposed in oblong beds, edged with fine porcelain; no plant is allowed
+to grow in it except the hyacinth; whence the name of the garden and the
+apartment it contains. Nothing can be more beautiful than the interior;
+three sides are formed by a divan, the cushions and pillows of which were
+of black satin, exquisitely embroidered. The floor was covered with
+Gobelin tapestry, and the ceiling magnificently gilded and burnished.
+Opposite the windows of the chamber was a fire-place, in the European
+manner; and on each side a door, covered with hangings of crimson cloth.
+Between each of these doors appeared a glass-case, containing the sultan's
+private library; every volume was in manuscript, with the name written
+on the edges of the leaves. Opposite the doors and fire-place hung three
+gold cages, containing artificial birds, which sang by mechanism. On one
+side was a raised bench, on which was placed an embroidered towel, a
+splendid vase, and basin for washing the hands and beard; upon the wall
+over it was suspended an embroidered portfolio, worked with silver on
+yellow leather, to contain the petitions presented to the sultan when he
+goes in procession to the mosque. Close to the door was placed a pair of
+yellow boots and slippers, which are always at the entrance of every
+apartment frequented by the sultan. Groups of arms, such as pistols,
+sabres, and poniards, were displayed with great taste and effect on the
+compartments of the walls; the handles were covered with diamonds and
+jewels of large size, which, as they glittered around, gave an almost
+dazzling brilliancy to this sumptuous chamber, thus characterizing the
+amusements of the man when divested of the ceremony and formality of the
+sultan.
+
+INA.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+NEEDLE-WORK ALTAR-PIECE.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+The town of Welwyn, Hertfordshire, was the last place of residence of Dr.
+Young, author of "Night Thoughts," where he was rector. His pious lady
+employed her leisure hours with her needle, in the completion of a most
+elegant altar-piece, which now embellishes the sacramental table in the
+church; and, through the care of the parish clerk, this specimen of the
+indefatigable mind of Mrs. Young has been surprisingly preserved. The
+words down the centre,
+
+
+ I AM
+ THE BREAD
+ OF
+ LIFE,
+
+
+have the appearance of being the production of a most masterly pencil;
+and the word "life" is in as fine a state of preservation as on the day
+when it was first presented by the benevolent artist; every tint,
+including the light and shade which surround the word, having withstood
+the ravages of time, and been ingeniously preserved by a kind of gauze
+covering.
+
+W.G.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LOCUSTS AND WILD HONEY.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+It has not been till lately that any of the travellers into Palestine
+have told what was meant by the locusts mentioned by St. Matthew as part
+of the food of John the Baptist. Dr. Clarke first related, that a tree
+grows in the Holy Land, which is called the locust tree, and produces an
+eatable fruit; but this fact was well known to many who had been in the
+Mediterranean. The tree grows in several of the countries which border
+that sea. It has been found in much greater abundance in some parts of
+the East Indies, whence it has now become an article of export. Many
+thousands of its pods are annually imported by the East India Company;
+and, either because the fruit is richer in more southern climates, or for
+some other reason, a great quantity of them are shipped for Venice and
+Trieste, where there is distilled from them a liquor, which is supposed
+to be an antidote to the plague, or at least useful in curing it. These
+pods are about twenty inches long, and from half to three-quarters of an
+inch in diameter. We call them pods for want of a term which would more
+accurately describe them; but they are not flat, neither have they that
+sort of hinge on one side, and slight fastening on the other, which
+plainly show how the shells of peas and beans are to be opened. On the
+contrary, these are round; but there are two opposite lines along them,
+where the colour alone would induce any one to suppose the skin to be, as
+it is, thinner than elsewhere. Having the fruit before us only in a dry
+state, we can describe it in no other; but at present a knife could
+scarcely be made to penetrate the thicker part, and does not very easily
+make its way into the thinner. The fruit, which lies in little cells
+within, is a pulp, or paste, somewhat like that of tamarinds, but
+smoother, and not so sweet. There are pips in it nearly as hard, and
+about half as large, as those of a tamarind, containing a kernel in each.
+It should be added, that in the stems of this locust tree wild bees still
+deposit their honey.
+
+W.G.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+FLOWERS.
+
+(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.)
+
+
+On reading the MIRROR, No. 337, my attention was attracted to one of your
+many pleasant and amusing extracts from the "Public Journals," bearing
+the title of "Flowers." Being myself a great admirer of that beautiful
+and delightful part of creation, I was led to peruse the article with
+somewhat increased attention. In all ages flowers have been regarded with
+peculiar sympathy; they have been associated with the calm serenity of
+virtue; they have been strewed around the altars of devotion; have been
+made to accompany the lonely, unobtrusive works of merit; and hung around
+the grave of faded and departed innocence, thus silently, but powerfully,
+depicting virtue, the essence of felicity. Although I do not consider you
+to be accountable for statements contained in the articles extracted from
+other journals, still I presume you would not knowingly make your work
+the vehicle of any matter which would lead your readers astray. I have,
+therefore, ventured to call your attention to a particular part of the
+above article, and to correct what I presume to be a misstatement.
+
+In the article alluded to, the writer states, "It has been said that
+flowers placed in bed-rooms are not wholesome; that cannot," he remarks,
+"be meant of such as are in a state of vegetation," &c.
+
+Now plants, it is well known, respire similarly to animals, through the
+pores of their leaves. By the agency of the sun, during the day, a
+quantity of pure gas, called oxygen, is given out; but on the contrary,
+during the night, or absence of the sun, gas of a most noxious and
+pernicious nature is emitted, and at the same time a portion of the pure
+air (oxygen gas) is absorbed. The greater part of the atmosphere must
+therefore be impregnated with this deleterious gas. Taking into
+consideration the confined state of a bed-chamber, the great increase of
+perspiration of the body, with the continual increase of carbonic gas
+from respiration, and this in an apartment where every thing _ought_
+most sedulously to be avoided which in the least tends to deteriorate the
+atmosphere, it must be evident the practice ought to be avoided, if we
+are desirous of preserving health.
+
+Flowers in a state of vegetation are, I consider, more pernicious _at
+night_, or during the absence of the sun, than those plucked and put
+into water, provided they be not immersed too long a time; for
+immediately the stem is severed from the plant, the vital action, if it
+may be so termed, ceases, and decomposition commences; but till the
+decomposition has been going on some time, nothing of a pernicious nature
+need be apprehended. In like manner, directly the vital principle becomes
+extinct in animals, decomposition ensues. For the space of five or six
+days, however, no perceptible alteration of the fibres is visible; but
+after that time a compound of gases begins to exhale from the body,
+accompanied with a fetid odour, till the parts are entirely decomposed.
+
+The effluvium arising from the _farina_ and _petals_ is
+considered unwholesome, however agreeable it may be to the senses,
+whether the plant be in a state of vegetation or not, it being too
+powerful for the olfactory nerve.
+
+S.S.T.
+
+Our pages are always open to the correction of our readers, and in
+this instance we thank _S.S.T._ for the above, although we think he
+has misconceived some portion of the article on "Flowers," the writer
+adding to that passage quoted by our correspondent, "_provided fresh
+air is frequently introduced_"; of course, he does not refer to the
+_night-time_, although it would have been clearer, had he suggested the
+removal of flowers from bed-rooms during the night.--ED.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CIRCULAR TEMPLES.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+These structures are generally supposed to have been built with
+astronomical allusions, especially the noble temple at _Stonehenge_.
+Circular temples existed among the Israelites. In Exodus, c. xxiv. v. 4,
+it is written that "Moses rose up early in the morning, and builded an
+altar under the hill, and twelve pillars." Again in Joshua, iv. 9, Joshua
+set up twelve stones; and it is well worthy of remark, that the twelve
+pillars of Moses and Joshua correspond with the number of stones of the
+inner circles at Abury. It is possible that these stones were plastered
+over, and probably highly ornamented, as in Deuteronomy, xxvii. 2, we
+read, "Thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with
+plaster;" and there is a large, upright stone in Ireland, which,
+according to the legend of the country, was once covered over with gold.
+On some of these pillars it is likewise probable that certain characters
+were traced, as among the Israelites words of the law were written upon
+similar obelisks or columns.
+
+The earliest temples in Greece were formed of obeliscal columns; and in
+some parts of Africa the custom obtains to this day. Hence the pillars of
+our present temples are the most ancient; and subsequent builders of holy
+sanctuaries filled up the intercolumniations till the temples were
+constructed as we now see their ruins in Athens and elsewhere. But many
+of the early temples were round; and it is a curious fact, hitherto
+unnoticed, I believe, that the altar end, the sanctum of our earliest
+Saxon churches, is circular.
+
+JAMES SILVESTER.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ST. OLAVE.--A MANX LEGEND.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+[Magnus, King of Norway, having committed sacrilege, by opening the grave
+of St. Olave, he was commanded by the spirit of the offended saint to
+perform the voluntary penance of quitting the kingdom in thirty days. He
+obeyed this intimation, and immediately left Norway. Having conquered
+many of the Western Isles, at length he established himself in the Isle
+of Man. Afterwards attempting the reduction of Ireland, he was surrounded
+by the natives and slain, with the whole of his followers.]
+
+
+ Olave, of rocky Norway's saints, the holiest and the best,
+ Entomb'd in tumulus, enjoys a calm and peerless rest;
+ By all of heav'ns votaries in saintly rank renown'd,
+ As high in blessedness, and chief in holy missal crown'd.
+
+ The dead--in holy, stilly peace, the sacred dead repose,
+ Afar from earth's turmoil and grief, and all of sick'ning woes;
+ From racking pain, and withering pride, and avarice's care,
+ Secure they rest in solitude, unaw'd by sin or snare.
+
+ To sack the gloomy sepulchre of lately living clay,
+ From cheerful day and life remov'd, by dreaded death away,
+ Is crime indeed of blackest hue, deserving exile's fate,
+ From native climes ordain'd to feel an outlaw's dreary state.
+
+ Could Norway's priest-despising chief, deem sacrilege a crime
+ Fitting for absolution,--or dark penance of set time
+ That daring such all dreaded sin, he gazes on the grave,
+ And tramples o'er the hallow'd dust of canoniz'd Olave.
+
+ Lone sepulchre in holy earth--sure wickedness so dire,
+ Of holy man, and sacred place, incenses heaven's ire;
+ Can less than ever banishment from Norway's ice bound land,
+ Stay sure revenge--pursuing fate--and justice' awful hand?
+
+ Away he sails--the foaming seas as Corsair now he laves,
+ Dauntless--heroic--daring winds, and man-entombing waves,
+ To visit other lands afar,--to combat chiefs of fame;
+ In battle-field to spread around the dread of Norway's name.
+
+ Lone Mona's sea-girt isle he dares with spear and flashing sword,
+ Usurping regal rule and right by power of pirate horde;
+ Yet vengeance drear, and dark desert of direst actions, crave
+ A bloody death, a justice clear, and dark usurper's grave.
+
+ On Erin's lovely land he falls--awarded darksome doom,
+ When, ruffian-like, he dared profane the saintly Olave's tomb:
+ He leaves his conquests, kingdoms, crowns, and all of earthly state,
+ To sleep in loneliness, and fill his dark predicted fate.
+
+
+_Kirk Michael, Isle of Man_. A B.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+THE ANECDOTE GALLERY.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A LIVING ALCHEMIST.
+
+(_From Sir R. Phillips's Tour_.)
+
+
+At Luton, Beds. Sir Richard hears of an ALCHEMIST, who lives at the
+village of Lilley, midway between Luton and Hitchen. The whole of his
+interview with this eccentric personage, will doubtless be interesting to
+our readers.
+
+It was four miles out of my road, but I thought a modern alchemist worthy
+of a visit, particularly as several inhabitants of Luton gravely assured
+me, that he had succeeded in discovering the Philosopher's Stone, and
+also the Universal Solvent. The reports about him would have rendered it
+culpable not to have hazarded anything for a personal interview. I learnt
+that he had been a man of fashion, and at one time largely concerned in
+adventures on the turf, but that for many years he had devoted himself to
+his present pursuits; while for some time past, he had been inaccessible
+and invisible to the world, the house being shut and barricadoed, and the
+walls of his grounds protected by hurdles, with spring-guns so planted as
+to resist intrusion in every direction. Under these circumstances, I had
+no encouragement to go to Lilley, but I thought that even the external
+inspection of such premises would repay me for the trouble. At Lilley,
+I inquired for his house of various people, and they looked ominous; some
+smiled, others shook their heads, and all appeared surprised at the
+approach of an apparent visiter to Mr. Kellerman.
+
+The appearance of the premises did not belie vulgar report. I could not
+help shuddering at seeing the high walls of respectable premises, lined
+at the top with double tiers of hurdles, and on driving my chaise to the
+front of the house, I perceived the whole in a state of horrid
+dilapidation. Contrary, however, to my expectation, I found a young man
+who appeared to belong to the out-buildings, and he took charge of my
+card for his master, and went to the back part of the house to deliver it.
+The front windows on the ground-floor and upper stories were entirely
+closed by inside shutters, much of the glass was broken, and the premises
+appeared altogether as if deserted. I was pleased at the words, "My
+master will be happy to see you," and in a minute the front door was
+opened, and Mr. Kellerman presented himself.--I lament that I have not
+the pencil of Hogarth, for a more original figure never was seen. He was
+about six feet high, and of athletic make; on his head was a white
+night-cap, and his dress consisted of a long great-coat once green, and
+he had a sort of jockey waistcoat with three tiers of pockets. His manner
+was extremely polite and graceful, but my attention was chiefly absorbed
+by his singular physiognomy. His complexion was deeply sallow, and his
+eyes large, black, and rolling. He conducted me into a very large parlour,
+with a window looking backward, and having locked the door, and put the
+key in his pocket, he desired me to be seated in one of two large arm
+chairs covered with sheepskins. The room was a realization of the
+well-known picture of Teniers' Alchemist. The floor was covered with
+retorts, crucibles, alembics, jars, bottles in various shapes,
+intermingled with old books piled upon each other, with a sufficient
+quantity of dust and cobwebs. Different shelves were filled in the same
+manner, and on one side stood his bed. In a corner somewhat shaded from
+the light, I beheld two heads, white, with dark wigs on them; I
+entertained no doubt therefore, that among other fancies he was engaged
+in re-making the brazen speaking head of Roger Bacon and Albertus. Many
+persons might have felt alarmed at the peculiarity of my situation, but
+being accustomed to mingle with eccentric characters, and having no fear
+from any pretensions of the black art, I was infinitely gratified by all
+I saw.
+
+Having stated the reports which I had heard, relative to his wonderful
+discoveries, I told him frankly that mine was a visit of curiosity, and
+stated that if what I had heard was matter of fact, the researches of the
+ancient chemists had been unjustly derided. He then gave me a history of
+his studies, mentioned some men whom I had happened to know in London,
+who he alleged had assured him that they had made gold. That having in
+consequence examined the works of the ancient alchemists, and discovered
+the key which they had studiously concealed from the multitude, he had
+pursued their system under the influence of new lights; and after
+suffering numerous disappointments, owing to the ambiguity with which
+they described their processes, he had, at length, happily succeeded; had
+made gold, and could make as much more as he pleased, even to the extent
+of paying off the national debt in the coin of the realm.
+
+I yielded to the declaration, expressed my satisfaction at so
+extraordinary a discovery, and asked him, to oblige me so far, as to show
+me some of the precious metal which he had made.
+
+"Not so," said he; "I will show it to no one. I made Lord Liverpool the
+offer, that if he would introduce me to the king, I would show it to his
+majesty; but Lord Liverpool insolently declined, on the ground that there
+was no precedent; and I am therefore determined, that the secret shall
+die with me. It is true that, in order to avenge myself of such contempt,
+I made a communication to the French ambassador, Prince Polignac, and
+offered to go to France, and transfer to the French government, the
+entire advantages of the discovery; but after deluding me, and shuffling
+for some time, I found it necessary to treat him with the same contempt
+as the others."
+
+I expressed my convictions in regard to the double dealing of men in
+office.
+
+"O," said he, "as to that, every court in Europe well knows that I have
+made the discovery, and they are all in confederacy against me; lest by
+giving it to any one, I should make that country master of all the
+rest--the world, Sir," he exclaimed with great emotion, "is in my hands
+and my power."
+
+Satisfied with this announcement of the discovery of the philosopher's
+stone, I now inquired about the sublime alkahest or universal solvent,
+and whether he had succeeded in deciphering the enigmatical descriptions
+of the ancient writers on that most curious topic.
+
+"Certainly," he replied, "I succeeded in that several years ago."
+
+"Then," I proceeded, "have you effected the other great desideratum, the
+fixing of mercury?"
+
+"Than that process," said he, "there is nothing more easy; at the same
+time it is proper I should inform you, that there are a class of
+impostors, who mistaking the ancient writers, pretend it can be done by
+heat; but I can assure you, it can only be effected by water."
+
+I then besought him to do me the favour, to show me some of his fixed
+mercury, having once seen some which had been fixed by cold.
+
+This proposition, however, he declined, because he said he had refused
+others. "That you may, however, be satisfied that I have made great
+discoveries, here is a bottle of oil, which I have purified, and rendered
+as transparent as spring water. I was offered £10,000. for this discovery;
+but I am so neglected, and so conspired against, that I am determined it
+and all my other discoveries shall die with me."
+
+I now inquired, whether he had been alarmed by the ignorance of the
+people in the country, so as to shut himself up in so unusual a manner.
+
+"No," he replied, "not on their account wholly. They are ignorant and
+insolent enough; but it was to protect myself against the governments of
+Europe, who are determined to get possession of my secret by force. I
+have been," he exclaimed, "twice fired at in one day through that window,
+and three times attempted to be poisoned. They believed I had written a
+book containing my secrets, and to get possession of this book has been
+their object. To baffle them, I burnt all that I had ever written, and I
+have so guarded the windows with spring-guns, and have such a collection
+of combustibles in the range of bottles which stand at your elbow, that I
+could destroy a whole regiment of soldiers if sent against me." He then
+related, that as a further protection he lived entirely in that room, and
+permitted no one to come into the house; while he had locked up every
+room except that with patent padlocks, and sealed the key-holes.
+
+It would be tedious and impossible to follow Mr. Kellerman through a
+conversation of two or three hours, in which he enlarged upon the merits
+of the ancient alchemists, and on the blunders and impertinent
+assumptions of the modern chemists, with whose writings and names it is
+fair to acknowledge he seemed well acquainted. He quoted the authorities
+of Roger and Lord Bacon, Paracelsus, Boyle, Boerhaave, Woolfe, and others,
+to justify his pursuits. As to the term philosopher's stone, he alleged
+that it was a mere figure, to deceive the vulgar. He appeared also to
+give full credit to the silly story about Dee's assistant, Kelly, finding
+some of the powder of projection in the tomb of Roger Bacon at
+Glastonbury, by means of which, as was said, Kelly for a length of time
+supported himself in princely splendour.
+
+I inquired whether he had discovered the blacker than black of Apollonius
+Tyaneus; and this, he assured me, he had effected; it was itself the
+powder of projection for producing gold.
+
+Amidst all this delusion and illusion on these subjects, Mr. Kellerman
+behaved in other respects with great propriety and politeness; and having
+unlocked the door, he took me to the doors of some of the other rooms, to
+show me how safely they were padlocked; and on taking leave, directed me
+in my course towards Bedford.
+
+In a few minutes, I overtook a man, and on inquiring what the people
+thought of Mr. Kellerman, he told me that he had lived with him for seven
+years; that he was one of eight assistants whom he kept for the purpose
+of superintending his crucibles, two at a time relieving each other every
+six hours; that he had exposed some preparations to intense heat for many
+months at a time, but that all except one crucible had burst, and that he
+called on him to observe, that it contained the true "blacker than black."
+The man protested, however, that no gold had ever been made, and that no
+mercury had ever been fixed; for he was quite sure, that if he had made
+any discovery, he could not have concealed it from the assistants; while,
+on the contrary, they witnessed his severe disappointments, at the
+termination of his most elaborate experiments.
+
+On my telling the man that I had been in his room, he seemed much
+astonished at my boldness; for he assured me, that he carried a loaded
+pistol in every one of his six waistcoat pockets. I learnt also from this
+man, that he has or had considerable property in Jamaica; that he has
+lived in the premises at Lilley about twenty-three years, and during
+fourteen of them pursued his alchemical researches with unremitting
+ardour; but for the last few years shut himself up as a close prisoner,
+and lived in the manner I have described.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ Here lyeth wrapt in clay,
+ The body of William Wray:
+ I have no more to say.
+
+
+_Weever's Epitaphs_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+Notes of a Reader.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+COURT OF CHARLES II.
+
+
+In the last No. of the _Edinburgh Review_, there is an admirably written
+article on Hallam's "Constitutional History," not a mere essay, but
+somewhat more like a review than usual. It contains an abundance of
+florid, bold, and vigorous writing, extending through upwards of 70
+pages. Among the most striking passages we notice a parallel between
+Cromwell and Napoleon, drawn with considerable force. But our extract is
+from the lighter portion, as the following ludicrous sketches of some of
+the enormities of Charles II. "Towards the close of the Protectorate,
+many signs indicated that a time of license was at hand. But the
+restoration of Charles II rendered the change wonderfully rapid and
+violent. A deep and general taint infected the morals of the most
+influential classes, and spread itself through every province of
+letters. Poetry inflamed the passions; philosophy undermined the
+principles; divinity itself, inculcating an abject reverence for the
+court, gave additional effect to its licentious example. ... The
+favourite duchess stamps about Whitehall, cursing and swearing. The
+ministers employ their time at the council board in making mouths at
+each other, and taking off each other's gestures for the amusement of
+the king. The peers at a conference begin to pommel each other, and to
+tear collars and periwigs. A speaker in the House of Commons gives
+offence to the court. He is way-laid by a gang of bullies, and his nose
+is cut to the bone. ... The second generation of the statesmen of this
+reign, were worthy of the schools in which they had been trained, of the
+gaming table of Grammont, and the tiring room of Nell ----." This is but
+a small portion of the good set terms in which the reviewer illustrates
+the licentiousness of the times. Speaking of Clarendon, he says, "Mr.
+Hallam scarcely makes sufficient allowance for the wear and tear which
+honesty almost necessarily sustains in the friction of political life,
+and which in times so rough as those through which Clarendon passed,
+must be very considerable. When these are fairly estimated, we think
+that his integrity may be allowed to pass muster." Perhaps political
+honesty is like Joseph Surface's French plate, or the tinsel spread over
+a pair of Birmingham saleshop candlesticks, whose tenderness will not
+withstand the wear and tear of conveyance in the purchaser's pocket. But
+the oddity of the reviewer's comparisons even puts one in good humour
+with their virulence.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+STREET SYMPATHIES.
+
+
+During "the season" the veriest stranger who has an eye and ear, and
+thoughts, must find in London sufficient to occupy his attention; true,
+he may start and sigh, to think that of the busy and enormous multitude
+around him, not one would care, if, treading on yonder bit of orange peel,
+he should slip off the flagway, and falling beneath the wheel of that
+immense coal-wagon, have his thigh crushed to atoms, while you'd be
+saying "Jack Robinson." But if he do sigh, the more fool he; first,
+because "grieving's a folly," as the old sea song hath it; next because
+he is mistaken in supposing that no one would feel interested in his
+misfortune. There are two upon the very flagway with him, who would
+evince the greatest sympathy in his fate; the one is a surgeon's
+apprentice, who, with anxious care, would bear him off to _his_
+hospital, that he might "try his 'prentice hand" to doctor him while
+living, and dissect him when dead; and the other is a running reporter to
+one of the morning papers, who would with gentle and soothing accents
+inquire his name, condition, and abode, to swell the paragraph, and
+increase his pay.--_Blackwood's Magazine._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LINES TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ON THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.
+
+
+ My heart is with you, Bulwer, and portrays
+ The blessings of your first paternal days;
+ To clasp the pledge of purest, holiest faith,
+ To taste one's own and love-born infant's breath,
+ I know, nor would for worlds forget the bliss.
+ I've felt that to a father's heart that kiss,
+ As o'er its little lips you smile and cling,
+ Has fragrance which Arabia could not bring.
+
+ Such are the joys, ill mock'd in ribald song,
+ In thought, ev'n fresh'ning life our life-time long,
+ That give our souls on earth a heaven-drawn bloom;
+ Without them we are weeds upon a tomb.
+
+ Joy be to thee, and her whose lot with thine,
+ Propitious stars saw Truth and Passion twine!
+ Joy be to her who in your rising name
+ Feels Love's bower brighten'd by the beams of Fame!
+ I lack'd a father's claim to her--but knew
+ Regard for her young years so pure and true,
+ That, when she at the altar stood your bride,
+ A sire could scarce have felt more sire-like pride.
+
+
+_T. Campbell_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+The Duc de Laval has the character of being a perfect fool. It is said
+that on one occasion he talked of having received an anonymous letter,
+signed by all the officers of his regiment; that on another, he ordered
+ottomans to be placed in the four corners of his octagon
+saloon!--_Josephine's Memoirs_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CAUSE AND EFFECT.
+
+
+Infinite are the consequences which follow from a single, and often
+apparently a very insignificant circumstance. Paley himself narrowly
+escaped being a baker; here was a decision upon which hung in one scale,
+perhaps, the immortal interests of thousands, and, in the other, the
+gratification of the taste of the good people of Giggleswick for hot
+rolls. Cromwell was near being strangled in his cradle by a monkey; here
+was this wretched ape wielding in his paws the destinies of nations.
+Then, again, how different in their kind, as well as in their magnitude,
+are these consequences from anything that might have been _à priori_
+expected. Henry VIII. is smitten with the beauty of a girl of eighteen;
+and ere long,
+
+
+ "The Reformation beams from Bullen's eyes."
+
+
+Charles Wesley refuses to go with his wealthy namesake to Ireland, and
+the inheritance, which would have been his, goes to build up the
+fortunes of a Wellesley instead of a Wesley; and to this decision of a
+schoolboy (as Mr. Southey observes) Methodism may owe its existence, and
+England its military--and, we trust we may now add, its civil and
+political--glory--_Quarterly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+SERVANTS.
+
+
+A fund has lately been established at Stockholm, from which it is
+intended to reward good and faithful servants. The king has contributed
+to it 1,000 crowns; the prince royal 500; and the princess royal 300.
+This has been suggested as an example worthy of our imitation; many
+legacies, &c. have from time to time been bequeathed for the
+encouragement of faithful servants in England; some are claimed, but the
+majority are shamefully misapplied by those to whom their distribution
+has been entrusted.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LONDON LUXURIES.
+
+
+A capital like London is a Maelstrom--an immense whirlpool--whose
+gyrations sweep in whatever is peculiarly desirable from the most
+distant regions of the empire--so active becomes the love of gain when
+set in motion by the love of luxury. We recollect once being on shipboard
+to the north of Duncan's Bay Head, and out of sight of land, the nearest
+being the Feroe Islands:--we were walking the deck, watching a whale
+which was gamboling at some distance, throwing up his huge side to the
+sun, and sending ever and anon a sheet of water and foam from his
+nostrils. Our thoughts were on Hecla and on the icebergs of the Pole, on
+the Scalds of Iceland and the sea-kings of Norway, when a sail hove in
+sight: we asked what craft it was--and were answered, "a Gravesend brig
+dredging for lobsters." Never was enchantment so effectually
+broken--never stage-trick in pantomime more successfully played off. Scene
+changes from Feroe and Iceland to the Albion in Aldersgate-street--Exeunt
+Scald, champion, and whale--Enter common councilman, turbot, and
+lobster-sauce.--_Quarterly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+THE BEAUTIFUL.
+
+
+To be convinced that, at some period or another of their history, the
+Egyptians had conceived a _beau-ideal_ superior to the beautiful
+which nature habitually produced in their country, we have only to
+examine the young Memnon, at the British Museum, and the heads of many of
+the sphinxes which remain.--_Weekly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ALGEBRA.
+
+
+Algebra I was charmed with, and found so much pleasure in resolving its
+questions, that I have often sat till morning at the engaging work,
+without a notion of its being day till I opened the shutters of my
+closet. I recommend this study in particular to young gentlemen, and am
+satisfied, if they would but take some pains at first to understand it,
+they would have so great a relish for its operations, as to prefer them
+many an evening to clamorous pleasures; or, at least, not be uneasy for
+being alone now and then, since their algebra was with them.--_Life of
+John Buncle._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A LUCKY MATCH.
+
+
+The late Mr. Locke, of Norbury Park, commissioned one Jenkins, a dealer
+in pictures, residing at Rome, to send him any piece of sculpture which
+might not exceed fifty guineas. Jenkins sent a head of Minerva, which Mr.
+Locke, not liking, returned, paying the carriage, and all other expenses.
+Nollekens, who was then also at Rome, having purchased a trunk of
+Minerva for fifty pounds, upon the return of this head, found that its
+proportion and character accorded with his torso. This discovery induced
+him to accept an offer made by Jenkins of the head itself; and 220
+guineas to share the profits. After Nollekens had joined the head and
+trunk, or, what is called "restored it," which he did at the expense of
+twenty guineas more for stone and labour, it proved a most fortunate hit,
+for they sold it for the enormous sum of 1,000 guineas! and it is now at
+Newby, in Yorkshire.--_Nollekens and his Times._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+NELSON.
+
+
+We received the following little anecdote from a letter of a gentleman
+now at the head of the medical profession, with which he favoured us
+shortly after perusing Salmonia. "I was (says our friend) at the Naval
+Hospital, at Yarmouth, on the morning when Nelson, after the battle of
+Copenhagen (having sent the wounded before him,) arrived at the Roads,
+and landed on the jutty. The populace soon surrounded him, and the
+military were drawn up in the market-place ready to receive him; but
+making his way through the crowd, and the dust, and the clamour, he went
+straight to the hospital. I went round the wards with him, and was much
+interested in observing his demeanour to the sailors; he stopped at every
+bed, and to every man he had something kind and cheering to say. At
+length, he stopped opposite a bed on which a sailor was lying who had
+lost his right arm close to the shoulder-joint, and the following short
+dialogue passed between, them:"--_Nelson_. "Well, Jack, what's the
+matter with you?"--_Sailor_. "Lost my right arm, your honour."--Nelson
+paused, looked down at his own empty sleeve, then at the sailor,
+and said playfully, "Well, Jack, then you and I are spoiled for
+fishermen--cheer up, my brave fellow." And he passed briskly on to the
+next bed; but these few words had a magical effect upon the poor fellow,
+for I saw his eyes sparkle with delight as Nelson turned away and pursued
+his course through the wards. As this was the only occasion on which I
+saw Nelson, I may, possibly, overrate the value of the incident.--_Q.
+Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+THE BRITISH ALMANAC.
+
+
+This work, though only in its second year, is too well known to be
+benefited by our recommendation. As a compilation, with occasional
+originality, it is one of the best executed labours of the Society from
+whom it emanates, and who, from the multiplicity of facts here assembled,
+may be called "The Society for the" _Condensation_ "of Useful
+Knowledge."
+
+In the Almanac for 1829 we notice several improvements upon that of last
+year. The "Remarks on Weather" are valuable; and the "Garden Plants in
+Flower" in each month, in themselves extremely interesting, contrast the
+unchanging course of nature with the grand revolutions and events of the
+column of "Anniversaries." Thus, what different emotions are produced by
+reading April 6, "First Abdication of Bonaparte, 1814," and "Primrose
+Peerless (_Narcissus biflorus_) in flower." The "Useful Remarks,"
+though not a new feature in an almanac, are profitable helps to social
+duties, especially when drawn from such a source as Owen Feltham's
+Resolves--a golden treasury of world-knowledge, which may serve as a
+text-book for every family. Among the useful facts we notice the
+following:--"By a parliamentary return of the year 1828 we find that the
+stamp duty paid upon the almanacs of England amounts to 30,136_l_. 3_s_.
+9_d_.--which, the duty being _fifteen-pence_ upon each almanac, exhibits
+a circulation of 451,593 annually."
+
+_Remarks on Weather._
+
+"The mean temperature of London is about 2° higher than that of the
+surrounding country; the difference exists chiefly in the night, and is
+greatest in winter and least in summer."
+
+"Mr. Howard is of opinion, from a careful comparison of a long series of
+observations, that a wet spring is an indication of a dry time for the
+ensuing harvest."
+
+"The greatest depression of temperature in every month happens, all
+other circumstances being the same, a short time before sun-rise."
+
+"There are only two months, namely, July and August, in which, taking
+into consideration the power of radiation, vegetation, in certain
+situations, is not exposed to a temperature of 32°."
+
+"The temperature of August is but little reduced, owing to the prevalence
+of hot nights. The action of the sun's rays is considerably assisted by
+the warm earth which radiates heat into the air; while, in spring, it
+absorbs every day a proportion of the heat which the sun produces."
+
+"_October_--Now that the fruits of the earth are laid in store, the
+increase of wet is attended by no injurious effects, the remaining heat
+of the earth is preserved from needless expenditure, and guarded from
+dissipation, by an increasing canopy of clouds, by which the effect of
+radiation is greatly reduced."
+
+"The comparative warmth of November is owing to the heat given out by
+the condensation of the vapour in the atmosphere into rain."
+
+"The mean temperature of the whole year is not found to vary, in
+different years, more than four degrees and a half."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+Such as hold superstition sweet to the soul, and love to exercise their
+ingenuity in hieroglyphics, the baseless grounds of tea, and lucky dreams
+and omens, will find little amusement in the British Almanac; but their
+absence is more than supplied by information "which almost every man
+engaged in the world requires."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH BOOK.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A VISION OF PURGATORY.
+
+_By William Maginn, Esq._
+
+
+The churchyard of Inistubber is as lonely a one as you would wish to see
+on a summer's day, or avoid on a winter's night. Under the east window of
+the church is a mouldering vault of the De Lacys,--a branch of a family
+descended from one of the conquerors of Ireland; and there they are
+buried, when the allotted time calls them to the tomb. Sir Theodore De
+Lacy had lived a jolly, thoughtless life, rising early for the hunt, and
+retiring late from the bottle. A good-humoured bachelor who took no care
+about the management of his household, provided that the hounds were in
+order for his going out, and the table ready on his coming in. As for the
+rest,--an easy landlord, a quiet master, a lenient magistrate (except to
+poachers,) and a very excellent foreman of a grand jury. He died one
+evening while laughing at a story which he had heard regularly thrice a
+week for the last fifteen years of his life, and his spirit mingled with
+the claret. In former times when the De Lacys were buried, there was a
+grand breakfast, and all the party rode over to the church to see the
+last rites paid. The keeners lamented; the country people had a wake
+before the funeral, and a dinner after it--and there was an end. But
+with the march of mind comes trouble and vexation. A man has now-a-days
+no certainty of quietness in his coffin--unless it be a patent one. He is
+laid down in the grave, and the next morning finds himself called upon to
+demonstrate an interesting fact! No one, I believe, admires this ceremony,
+and it is not to be wondered at that Sir Theodore De Lacy held it in
+especial horror. "I'd like," said he one evening, "to catch one of the
+thieves coming after me when I'm dead--By the God of War, I'd break every
+bone in his body;--but," he added with a sigh, "as I suppose I'll not be
+able to take my own part then, upon you I leave it, Larry Sweeney, to
+watch me three days and three nights after they plant me under the sod.
+There's Doctor Dickenson there, I see the fellow looking at me--fill your
+glass, Doctor--here's your health! and shoot him, Larry, do you hear,
+shoot the Doctor like a cock, if he ever comes stirring up my poor old
+bones from their roost of Inistubber." "Why, then," Larry answered,
+accepting the glass which followed this command, "long life to both your
+honours; and it's I that would like to be putting a bullet into Doctor
+Dickenson--heaven between him and harm--for hauling your honour away,
+as if you was a horse's head, to a bonfire. There's nothing, I 'shure you,
+gintlemin, poor as I am, that would give me greater pleasure." "We feel
+obliged, Larry" said Sir Theodore, "for your good wishes." "Is it I pull
+you out of the grave, indeed!" continued the whipper-in, for such he was,
+--"I'd let nobody pull your honour out of any place, saving 'twas
+purgatory; and out of that I'd pull you myself, if I saw you going
+_there_." "I am of opinion, Larry," said Doctor Dickenson, "you would
+turn tail if you saw Sir Theodore on that road. You might go further, and
+fare worse, you know." "Turn tail!" replied Larry, "it is I that
+wouldn't--I appale to St. Patrick himself over beyond"--pointing to a
+picture of the Prime Saint of Ireland, which hung in gilt daubery behind
+his master's chair, right opposite to him. To Larry's horror and
+astonishment, the picture fixing its eyes upon him, winked with the most
+knowing air, as if acknowledging the appeal. "What makes you turn so
+white then at the very thought," said the doctor, interpreting the
+visible consternation of our hero in his own way. "Nothing particular,"
+answered Larry; "but a wakeness has come strong over me, gintlemin, and
+if you'd have no objection, I'd like to go into the air for a bit." Leave
+was of course granted, and Larry retired amid the laughter of the
+guests--but as he retreated, he could not avoid casting a glance on the
+awful picture--and again the Saint winked, with a most malicious smile.
+It was impossible to endure the repeated infliction, and Larry rushed
+down the stairs in an agony of fright and amazement. "May be," thought
+he, "it might be my own eyes that wasn't quite steady--or the flame of
+the candle. But no--he winked at me as plain as ever I winked at Judy
+Donaghue of a May morning. What he manes by it I can't say--but there's
+no use of thinking about it--no, nor of talking neither, for who' d
+believe me if I tould them of it?"
+
+The next evening Sir Theodore died, as has been mentioned; and in due
+time thereafter was buried according to the custom of the family, by
+torch-light, in the churchyard of Inistubber. All was fitly performed;
+and although Dickenson had no design upon the jovial knight--and if he
+had not, there was nobody within fifteen miles that could be suspected
+of such an outrage,--yet Larry Sweeney was determined to make good his
+promise of watching his master. "I'd think little of telling a lie to him,
+by the way of no harm when he was alive," said he, wiping his eyes, as
+soon as the last of the train had departed, leaving him with a single
+companion in the lonely cemetery; "but now that he's dead--God rest his
+soul!--I'd scorn it. So Jack Kinaley, as behoves my first cousin's son,
+stay you with me here this blessed night, for betune (between) you and I,
+it an't lucky to stay by one's self in this ruinated old rookery, where
+ghosts, God help us, is as thick as bottles in Sir Theodore's cellar!"
+"Never you mind that, Larry," said Kinaley, a discharged soldier, who had
+been through all the campaigns of the Peninsula; "never mind, I say, such
+botherations. Han't I lain in bivouack on the field at Salamanca, and
+Tallawara, and the Pyrumnees, and many another place beside, where there
+was dead corpses lying about in piles, and there was no more ghosts than
+kneebuckles in a ridgemint of Highlanders. Here, let me prime them pieces,
+and hand us over the bottle; we'll stay snug under this east window, for
+the wind's coming down the hill, and I defy"--"None of that bould talk,
+Jack," said his cousin; "as for what ye saw in foreign parts, of dead men
+killed afighting, sure that's nothing to the dead--God rest 'em!--that's
+here. There you see, they had company one with the other, and being
+killed fresh-like that morning, had no heart to stir; but here, faith!
+'tis a horse of another colour." "May be it is," said Jack, "but the
+night's coming on; so I'll turn in. Wake me if you sees any thing; and
+after I've got my two hours' rest, I'll relieve you."
+
+With these words the soldier turned on his side, under shelter of a grave,
+and as his libations had been rather copious during the day, it was not
+long before he gave audible testimony that the dread of supernatural
+visitants had had no effect in disturbing the even current of his fancy.
+Although Larry had not opposed the proposition of his kinsman, yet he
+felt by no means at ease. He put in practice all the usually recommended
+nostrums for keeping away unpleasant thoughts:--all would not do. "If it
+was a common, dacent, quite (quiet,) well-behaved churchyard a'self,"
+thought Larry, half-aloud--"but when 'tis a place like this forsaken ould
+berrin'-ground, which is noted for villiany"--"For what, Larry?" said a
+gentleman, stepping out of a niche which contained the only statue time
+had spared. It was the figure of Saint Colman, to whom the church was
+dedicated. Larry had been looking at the figure, as it shone forth in
+ebon and ivory in the light and shadow of the now high-careering moon,
+"For what, Larry," said the gentleman,--"for what do you say the
+churchyard is noted?" "For nothing at all, plase your honour," replied
+Larry, "except the height of gentility." The stranger was about four feet
+high, dressed in what might be called flowing garments,--if, in spite of
+their form, their rigidity did not deprive them of all claim to such an
+appellation. He wore an antique mitre upon his head; his hands were
+folded upon his breast; and over his right shoulder rested a pastoral
+crook. There was a solemn expression in his countenance, and his eye
+might truly be called stony. His beard could not be well said to wave
+upon his bosom; but it lay upon it in ample profusion, stiffer than that
+of a Jew on a frosty morning after mist. In short, as Larry soon
+discovered to his horror, on looking up at the niche, it was no other
+than Saint Colman himself, who had stept forth, indignant (in all
+probability) at the stigma cast by the watcher of the dead on the
+churchyard of which his Saintship was patron. He smiled with a grisly
+solemnity--just such a smile as you might imagine would play round the
+lips of a milestone (if it had any,) at the recantation so quickly
+volunteered by Larry. "Well," said he, "Lawrence Sweeney"--"How well the
+old rogue," thought Larry, "knows my name!" "Since you profess yourself
+such an admirer of the merits of the churchyard of Inistubber, get up and
+follow me, till I show you the civilities of the place--for I am master
+here, and must do the honours." "Willingly would I go with your worship,"
+replied our friend; "but you see here I am engaged to Sir Theodore, who,
+though a good master, was a mighty passionate man when every thing was
+not done as he ordered it; and I am feared to stir." "Sir Theodore," said
+the Saint, "will not blame you for following me. I assure you he will
+not." "But then," said Larry--"Follow me!" cried the Saint, in a hollow
+voice, and casting upon him his stony eye, drew poor Larry after him, as
+the bridal guest was drawn by the lapidary glance of the Ancient Mariner;
+or, as Larry himself afterwards expressed it, "as a jaw tooth is wrinched
+out of an ould woman with a pair of pinchers." The Saint strode before
+him in silence, not in the least incommoded by the stones and rubbish,
+which at every step sadly contributed to the discomfiture of Larry's
+shins, who followed his marble conductor into a low vault, situated at
+the west end of the church. The path lay through coffins piled up on each
+side of the way in various degrees of decomposition; and, excepting that
+the solid footsteps of the saintly guide, as they smote heavily on the
+floor of stone, broke the deadly silence, all was still. Stumbling and
+staggering along, directed only by the casual glimpses of light afforded
+by the moon, where it broke through the dilapidated roof of the vault,
+and served to discover only sights of woe, Larry followed. He soon felt
+that he was descending, and could not help wondering at the length of the
+journey. He began to entertain the most unpleasant suspicions as to the
+character of his conductor;--but what could he do? Flight was out of the
+question, and to think of resistance was absurd. "Needs must, they say,"
+thought he to himself, "when the devil drives. I see it's much the same
+when a saint, leads."
+
+At last the dolorous march had an end; and not a little to Larry's
+amazement, he found that his guide had brought him to the gate of a lofty
+hall, before which a silver lamp, filled with naphtha, "yielded light as
+from a sky."--From within loud sounds of merriment were ringing; and it
+was evident, from the jocular harmony and the tinkling of glasses, that
+some subterraneous catch-club were not idly employed over the bottle.
+"Who's there?" said a porter, roughly responding to the knock of Saint
+Colman. "Be so good," said the Saint, mildly, "my very good fellow, as to
+open the door without further questions, or I'll break your head. I'm
+bringing a gentleman here on a visit, whose business is pressing." "May
+be so," thought Larry, "but what that business may be, is more than I can
+tell." The porter sulkily complied with the order, after having
+apparently communicated the intelligence that a stranger was at hand; for
+a deep silence immediately followed the tipsy clamour; and Larry,
+sticking close to his guide, whom he now looked upon almost as a friend,
+when compared with these underground revellers to whom he was about to
+be introduced, followed him through a spacious vestibule, which gradually
+sloped into a low-arched room, where the company was assembled. And a
+strange-looking company it was. Seated round a long table were
+three-and-twenty grave and venerable personages, bearded, mitred, stoled,
+and croziered,--all living statues of stone, like the Saint who had
+walked out of his niche. On the drapery before them were figured the
+images of the sun, moon, and stars--the inexplicable bear--the mystic
+temple, built by the hand of Hiram--and other symbols, of which the
+uninitiated knew nothing. The square, the line, the trowel, were not
+wanting, and the hammer was lying in front of the chair. Labour, however,
+was over, and the time for refreshment having arrived, each of the stony
+brotherhood had a flagon before him; and when we mention that the Saints
+were Irish, and that St. Patrick in person was in the chair, it is not to
+be wondered at that the mitres, in some instances, hung rather loosely on
+the side of the heads of some of the canonized compotators. Among the
+company were found St. Senanus of Limerick, St. Declan of Ardmore, St.
+Canice of Kilkenny, St. Finbar of Cork, St. Michan of Dublin, St. Brandon
+of Kerry, St. Fachnan of Ross, and others of that holy brotherhood; a
+vacant place, which completed the four-and-twentieth, was left for St.
+Colman, who, as every body knows, is of Cloyne; and he, having taken his
+seat, addressed the president, to inform him that he had brought the man.
+The man (viz. Larry himself) was awestruck with the company in which he
+so unexpectedly found himself; and trembled all over when, on the notice
+of his guide, the eight-and-forty eyes of stone were turned directly upon
+himself. "You have just nicked the night to a shaving, Larry," said St.
+Patrick: "this is our chapter-night, and myself and brethren are here
+'assembled on merry occasion.'--You know who I am?" "God bless your
+reverence," said Larry, "it's I that do well. Often did I see your
+picture hanging over the door of places where it is"--lowering his
+voice--"pleasanter to be than here, buried under an ould church." "You
+may as well say it out, Larry," said St. Patrick; "and don't think I'm
+going to be angry with you about it; for I was once flesh and blood
+myself. But you remember, the other night, saying that you would think
+nothing of pulling your master out of purgatory, if you could get at him
+there, and appealing to me to stand by your words.
+
+"Y-e-e-s," said Larry, most mournfully; for he recollected the
+significant look he had received from the picture. "And," continued St.
+Patrick, "you remember also that I gave you a wink, which you know is as
+good, any day, as a nod--at least, to a blind horse." "I'm sure, your
+reverence," said Larry, with a beating heart, "is too much of a gintleman
+to hould a poor man hard to every word he may say of an evening, and
+therefore"--"I was thinking so," said the saint, "I guessed you'd prove a
+poltroon when put to the push. What do you think, my brethren, I should
+do to this fellow?" A hollow sound burst from the bosoms of the unanimous
+assembly. The verdict was short and decisive:--"Knock out his brains!" And
+in order to suit the action to the word, the whole four-and-twenty arose
+at once, and with their immovable eyes fixed firmly on the face of our
+hero--who horror struck with the sight as he was, could not close
+his--they began to glide slowly but regularly towards him, bending their
+line into the form of a crescent, so as to environ him on all sides. In
+vain he fled to the door; its massive folds resisted mortal might. In
+vain he cast his eyes around in quest of a loophole of retreat--there was
+none. Closer and closer pressed on the slowly-moving phalanx, and the
+uplifted croziers threatened soon to put their sentence into execution.
+Supplication was all that remained--and Larry sunk upon his knees. "Ah!
+then," said he, "gintlemin and ancient ould saints as you are, don't kill
+the father of a large small family, who never did hurt to you or yours.
+Sure, if 'tis your will that I should go to--no matter who, for there's
+no use in naming his name--might I not as well make up my mind to go
+there, alive and well, stout and hearty, and able to face him,--as with
+my head knocked into bits, as if I had been after a fair or a patthern?"
+"You say right," said St. Patrick, checking with a motion of his crozier
+the advancing assailants, who returned to their seats. "I am glad to see
+you coming to reason. Prepare for your journey." "And how, plase your
+Saintship, am I to go?" asked Larry. "Why," said St. Patrick, "as Colman
+here has guided you so far, he may guide you further. But as the journey
+is into foreign parts, where you arn't likely to be known, you had better
+take this letter of introduction, which may be of use to you." "And here,
+also, Lawrence," said a Dublin Saint--perhaps Michan--"take you this box
+also, and make use of it as he to whom you speak shall suggest." "Take a
+hold, and a firm one," said St. Colman, "Lawrence, of my cassock, and we'
+ll start." "All right behind?" cried St. Patrick. "All right!" was the
+reply. In an instant!--vault--table--saints--bell--church, faded into air;
+a rustling hiss of wings was all that was heard; and Larry felt his cheek
+swept by a current, as if a covey of birds of enormous size were passing
+him. (It was, in all probability, the flight of the saints returning to
+heaven, but on that point nothing certain has reached us up to the
+present time of writing.) He had not a long time to wonder at the
+phenomenon, for he himself soon began to soar, dangling in mid sky at the
+skirt of the cassock of his sainted guide. Earth, and all that appertains
+thereto, speedily passed from his eyes, and they were alone in the midst
+of circumfused ether, glowing with a sunless light. Above, in immense
+distance, was fixed the firmament, fastened up with bright stars, fencing
+around the world with its azure wall. They fled far, before any
+distinguishable object met their eyes. At length a long, white streak,
+shining like silver in the moonbeam, was visible to their sight. "That,"
+said St. Colman, "is the Limbo which adjoins the earth, and is the
+highway for ghosts departing the world. It is called in Milton, a book
+which I suppose, Larry, you never have read"--"And how could I, plase
+your worship," said Larry, "seein' I don't know a B from a bull's foot!"
+"Well, it is called in Milton the Paradise of Fools: and if it were indeed
+peopled by all of that tribe who leave the world, it would contain the
+best company that ever figured on the earth. To the north, you see a
+bright speck?" "I do." "That marks the upward path,--narrow and hard to
+find. To the south you may see a darksome road--broad, smooth, and easy
+of descent; that is the lower way. It is thronged with the great ones of
+the world; you may see their figures in the gloom. Those who are soaring
+upwards are wrapt in the flood of light flowing perpetually from that
+single spot, and you cannot see them. The silver path on which we enter
+is the Limbo. Here I part with you. You are to give your letter to the
+first person you meet. Do your best;--be courageous, but observe
+particularly that you profane no holy name, or I will not answer for the
+consequences."
+
+His guide had scarcely vanished, when Larry heard the tinkling of a bell
+in the distance, and turning his eyes in the quarter whence it proceeded,
+he saw a grave-looking man in black, with eyes of fire, driving before
+him a flock of ghosts with a switch, as you see turkeys driven on the
+western road, at the approach of Christmas. They were on the highway to
+Purgatory. The ghosts were shivering in the thin air, which pinched them
+severely, now that they had lost the covering of their bodies. Among the
+group, Larry recognised his old master, by the same means that Ulysses,
+Aeneas, and others, recognised the bodiless forms of their friends in the
+regions of Acheron. "What brings a living person," said the man in black,
+"on this pathway? I shall make legal capture of you, Larry Sweeney, for
+trespassing. You have no business here." "I have come," said Larry,
+plucking up courage, "to bring your honour's glory a letter from a
+company of gintlemin with whom I had the pleasure of spending the evening,
+underneath the ould church of Inistubber." "A letter," said the man in
+black, "where is it?" "Here, my lord," said Larry. "Ho!" cried the black
+gentleman, on opening it, "I know the handwriting. It won't do, however,
+my lad,--I see they want to throw dust in my eyes." "Whew," thought Larry,
+"that's the very thing. 'Tis for that the ould Dublin boy gave me the box.
+I'd lay a tinpenny to a brass farthing that it's filled with Lundy Foot."
+Opening the box, therefore, he flung its contents right into the fiery
+eyes of the man in black, while he was still occupied with reading the
+letter,--and the experiment was successful. "Curses--tche-tche-tche,--
+Curses on it," exclaimed he, clapping his hand before his eyes, and
+sneezing most lustily.--"Run, you villians, run," cried Larry, to the
+ghosts--"run, you villians, now that his eyes are off of you--O master,
+master! Sir Theodore, jewel! run to the right-hand side, make for the
+bright speck, and God give you luck."
+
+He had forgotten his injunction. The moment the word was uttered he felt
+the silvery ground sliding from under him; and with the swiftness of
+thought he found himself on the flat of his back, under the very niche of
+the old church wall whence he had started, dizzy and confused with a
+measureless tumble. The emancipated ghosts floated in all directions,
+emitting their shrill and stridulous cries in the gleaming expanse. Some
+were again gathered by their old conductor; some scudding about at
+random, took the right hand path, others the left. Into which of them Sir
+Theodore struck, is not recorded; but as he had heard the direction, let
+us hope that he made the proper choice. Larry had not much time given him
+to recover from his fall, for almost in an instant he heard an angry
+snorting rapidly approaching, and looking up, whom should he see but the
+gentleman in black, with eyes gleaming more furiously than ever, and his
+horns (for, in his haste, he had let his hat fall) relieved in strong
+shadow against the moon. Up started Larry--away ran his pursuer after him.
+The safest refuge was, of course, the church,--thither ran our hero--and
+after him--fiercer than the shark, swifter than the hounds--fled the
+black gentleman. The church is cleared; the chancel entered; and the hot
+breath of his pursuer glows upon the outstretched neck of Larry. Escape
+is impossible--the extended talons of the fiend have clutched him by the
+hair. "You are mine," cried the demon,--"if I have lost any of my flock,
+I have at last got you." "Oh, St. Patrick!" exclaimed our hero, in horror,
+--"Oh, St. Patrick have mercy upon me, and save me!" "I tell you what,
+cousin Larry," said Kinaley, chucking him up from behind a gravestone,
+where he had fallen--"all the St. Patricks that ever were born would not
+have saved you from ould Tom Picton, if he caught you sleeping on your
+post as I've caught you now. By the word of an ould soldier, he'd have
+had the provost-marshal upon you, and I'd not give two-pence for the loan
+of your life. And then, too, I see you have drunk every drop in the
+bottle. What can you say for yourself?" "Nothing at all," said Larry,
+scratching his head,--"but it was an unlucky dream, and I'm glad it's
+over."--_Literary Souvenir._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+Ancient Roman Festivals.
+
+NOVEMBER.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The _Epulum Jovis_ was a sumptuous feast offered to Jupiter on the
+13th of November. The gods were formally invited, and attended; for the
+statues were brought in rich beds, furnished with soft pillows, called
+_pulvinaria_. Thus accommodated, their godships were placed on their
+couches at the most honourable part of the table, and served with the
+rich dainties, as if they were able to eat; but the _epulones_, or
+ministers, who had the care and management of the feast, performed that
+function for them, and no doubt did the part of _gastronomic proxies_
+with _eclat_.
+
+The _Brumalia_ was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among the Romans
+during the space of thirty days, commencing on the 24th of November. It
+was instituted by Romulus, who used, during this time, to entertain the
+senate. During this feast indications were taken of the felicity of the
+remaining part of the winter.
+
+P.T.W.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+The Gatherer.
+
+
+ "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+INNOCENT CONFESSION.
+
+
+A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused herself of
+using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the confessor. "I do it to
+make myself handsomer."--"And does it produce that effect?" "At least
+I think so, father."--The confessor on this took his penitent out of the
+confessional, and having looked at her attentively in the light, said,
+"Well, madam, you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+MERCHANT TAILORS.
+
+
+A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the Merchant Tailors'
+motto, "_Concordiâ parvae res crescunt_" replied, "Yes, that is to
+say, nine tailors make a man."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+RABELAIS.
+
+A JEU D'ESPRIT.
+
+
+ In France they say
+ Lived RABELAIS,
+ A witty wight, and a right merry fellow.
+ Who in good company was sometimes mellow:
+ And,
+ Although he was a priest,
+ Thought it no sacramental sin--to feast.
+ I can't say much for his morality:
+ But for his immortality,
+ Good luck!
+ Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards,
+ And scarcely a good library's shelf
+ But boasts acquaintance with the elf.
+ But now I'll tell you what I should have told before,
+ A grievous illness brought him nigh _Death's_ door.
+ Who, bony wight,
+ Enjoyed the sight--
+ And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be
+ When the jester had joined his company.
+
+ Rab's friends, good folk!
+ Thought it no joke
+ To the poor joker; they therefore sent around
+ For all the Esculapians to be found;
+ And in a trice
+ (For doctors always haste to give advice--
+ Mind--don't mistake--I mean when there's a fee)
+ They mustered two--to which add three.
+
+ Now about the bed
+ Is seen each learned head.
+ The patient's pulse is felt--with graver air
+ Each M.D. seats him in a chair.
+ Crosses his legs--leans on his stick, mums--hahs--and hums
+ Pulls out his watch--takes snuff--and twirls his thumbs.
+ At length,
+ The awful stillness broke--
+ As if from silence gathering strength
+ Most lustily they all did croak,
+ Their opinions mingling,
+ In discordant jingling--
+ "A purge"--"a blister"--"shave his head"
+ "Senna and salts"--"a clyster"--"have him bled,"
+ "A pill at noon"--"another pill at night,"
+ "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right."
+ Thus with purges and blisters,
+ Pills, bleeding, and clysters,
+ The poor patient they threatened
+ Should be deluged and sweatened.
+
+ Unable to endure the riot,
+ And wishing for a little quiet,
+ The sickman raised his head,
+ And said--
+ Gentlemen, I do beseech ye, cease your pother,
+ Nor any more with me your wise heads bother,
+ Scratching your wigs,
+ Like sapient pigs;
+ Whate'er you may decide is my disease,
+ I humbly do conceive a little ease
+ From your infernal noise and chatter.
+ With which I'm dunn'd
+ And nearly stunn'd,
+ Would greatly tend to mend the matter;
+ And if, perforce, I must resign my breath,
+ For heav'n's sake let me _die_ a NATURAL _death_.
+
+
+P.M.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+AN AGITATOR.
+
+
+M. Monchenut, an old man of eighty, afflicted with the palsy, was
+arrested during the reign of terror, under suspicion of being an agitator.
+Being asked what he had to say to the accusation, "Alas, gentlemen, it is
+very true, I am agitated enough, God knows, for I have not been able to
+keep a limb still for these fifteen years."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CHINESE POLITENESS.
+
+
+There is one striking particular in which the Chinese politeness is quite
+the reverse of ours. To take off their caps when they salute one another,
+or even accidentally to appear uncovered, is esteemed the height of ill
+breeding and indecency.
+
+HALBERT H.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets are
+informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and may be purchased
+separately. The whole of the numbers are now in print, and can be
+procured by giving an order to any Bookseller or Newsvender.
+
+Complete sets Vol. I. to XI. in boards, price £2. l9_s_. 6_d_. half bound,
+£3. l7_s_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS.
+
+CHEAP and POPULAR WORKS published at the MIRROR OFFICE in the Strand,
+near Somerset House.
+
+The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS, Embellished with nearly 150
+Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards.
+
+The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.
+
+The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. CANNING. &c. Price 2s.
+
+PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price l3s. boards.
+
+COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d boards.
+
+COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.
+
+The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD DISPLAYED Price 5s.
+boards.
+
+BEAUTIES of SCOTT, 2 vols. price 7s. boards.
+
+The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+
+
+Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+
+GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.
+
+DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d.
+
+BACON'S ESSAYS Price 8d.
+
+SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+_Printed and Published by J. LAMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset House.)
+London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all
+Newsmen and Booksellers._
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 ***
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+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" />
+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828, by Various</title>
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+ /*<![CDATA[*/
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+ hr.full {width: 100%;}
+ html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;}
+
+ .note, .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;}
+
+ span.pagenum {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;}
+
+ .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;}
+ .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;}
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+ </style>
+</head>
+<body>
+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 ***</div>
+<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828, by Various</h1>
+<br />
+<br />
+<center><b>E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Allen Siddle, David Garcia,<br />
+ and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team</b></center>
+<br />
+<br />
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page337" name="page337"></a>[pg
+ 337]</span>
+ <h1>
+ THE MIRROR<br />
+ OF<br />
+ LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+ </h1>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <table width="100%" summary="Banner">
+ <tr>
+ <td align="left">
+ <b>VOL. XII, NO. 342.]</b>
+ </td>
+ <td align="center">
+ <b>SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1828.</b>
+ </td>
+ <td align="right">
+ <b>[PRICE 2d.</b>
+ </td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
+ <a href="images/342-1.png"><img width="100%"
+ src="images/342-1.png"
+ alt="Council office, etc. Whitehall." /></a>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page338" name="page338"></a>[pg
+ 338]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ COUNCIL OFFICE, &amp;c. WHITEHALL.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ From the Druids' Temple, at Abury, (our last engraving,) to
+ the Council Office, at Whitehall, is a long stride in the
+ march of time. From "grave to gay, and lively to severe," is
+ nothing to it; but variety is the public dictum; and with
+ more sincerity than the courtier in <i>Tom Thumb</i>, we say
+ to the public,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "Whate'er your majesty shall please to name,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Long cut or short cut, to us' tis all the same."
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ On the annexed page is represented the new splendid range of
+ buildings, including the <i>Council Office</i>, <i>Board of
+ Trade</i>, &amp;c. at Whitehall. The architect, Mr. Soane,
+ has adapted the fa&ccedil;ade from the Temple of Jupiter
+ Stator, at Rome.<a id="footnotetag1"
+ name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But Mr. Soane's adaptation has been only partial, and he has
+ adhered merely to the details of the columns and entablature.
+ "The fa&ccedil;ade," it is well observed in an early Number
+ of the <i>Athenaeum</i>, "enjoys one of the most favourable
+ sites for the display of a public building which the
+ metropolis affords; no limit has been set to the expense; the
+ finest materials the country yields have been used in its
+ construction; the richest example of the richest order which
+ antiquity has left us, has been lavishly employed in its
+ decoration; and yet," continues the critic, "is not the whole
+ a failure?" He then describes the effect of it as "poor, or
+ at best but pretty," and attributes the absence of grandeur
+ to the "want of sufficient elevation."&mdash;"To the general
+ elevation it may be objected, that it has no prominent
+ centre; that, composed of two wings and an intermediate space
+ receding, it has more the character of a flank than a front
+ building; and that the want of a central entrance derogates
+ greatly from its dignity as a principal fa&ccedil;ade."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But we are mere amateurs in these matters, and it will be as
+ well to leave the remainder of this criticism to the more
+ studious reader. We have, however, glanced at the principal
+ defects which the writer in the <i>Athenaeum</i> points out,
+ and we are bound to admit the justice of his remarks. The
+ details which produce this effect would not be so generally
+ interesting. "The order itself," says he, "it must be
+ admitted, is well copied, and excellently executed;" but Mr.
+ Soane's application of it is loudly censured&mdash;a Roman
+ temple being inappropriate for a British Council Office.
+ Perhaps our critic would have preferred a fa&ccedil;ade like
+ that of the Palais de Justice at Paris,&mdash;a platform,
+ ascended by an immense flight of steps, which serves as a
+ basement for a projecting body of four Doric columns; with
+ four large pedestals in front, and statues of
+ <i>Strength</i>, <i>Plenty</i>, <i>Justice</i>, and
+ <i>Prudence</i>, as the cardinal virtues of English
+ legislation and trade.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Upon the whole, we cannot help thinking some of the details
+ of this new range extremely rich and pleasing, although we
+ assent to the above character of their general effect. The
+ columns, of fluted Corinthian, and the cornice of the order,
+ are to us very beautiful; but the upper windows are
+ unsightly, or, as a wag would say, purely attic; and the
+ entrances are too strictly <i>official</i> for the
+ architecture of the building. This brings us again to the
+ inappropriateness of the adaptation, which made these
+ introductions unavoidable.<a id="footnotetag2"
+ name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The front of the building is not completed, the northern wing
+ having yet to be erected. When this is finished, the effect
+ may be materially assisted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ While we are in this quarter, and lest "we may never come
+ again," it may be as well to thank our correspondent, "An
+ Architect," for his letter on "Whitehall," a very small
+ portion of which has ever been completed. What has been
+ finished&mdash;the Banqueting House&mdash;is one of the
+ triumphs of Inigo Jones, but like all human works, is sadly
+ dilapidated; although this is attributable to the bad
+ material, rather than to the interval since its erection. The
+ <i>whole</i> was, indeed, a magnificent design.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CROMLECH.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>To the Editor of the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In No. 328 of the MIRROR, you mistake in spelling
+ <i>cromlech</i>; the last syllable is always written
+ <i>lech</i>, not <i>leh</i>; neither is it derived from
+ <i>crom</i> and <i>leac</i>, the Irish, but from <i>crom</i>
+ and <i>llech</i>, the Celtic, of which the Irish is the most
+ corrupted, and the present Welsh the most pure dialect.
+ <i>Llech</i> signifies a stone in Welsh, and is pronounced in
+ a way peculiar to the Welsh; when simple it is <i>llech</i>,
+ when compounded <i>lech</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ RUPERT C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page339" name="page339"></a>[pg
+ 339]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ GARDEN OF HYACINTHS
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ IN THE SERAGLIO, CONSTANTINOPLE.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror.</i>)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In this garden the sultan passes most of his leisure hours,
+ free from the outward parade attendant on his rank. It is
+ small, but tastefully disposed in oblong beds, edged with
+ fine porcelain; no plant is allowed to grow in it except the
+ hyacinth; whence the name of the garden and the apartment it
+ contains. Nothing can be more beautiful than the interior;
+ three sides are formed by a divan, the cushions and pillows
+ of which were of black satin, exquisitely embroidered. The
+ floor was covered with Gobelin tapestry, and the ceiling
+ magnificently gilded and burnished. Opposite the windows of
+ the chamber was a fire-place, in the European manner; and on
+ each side a door, covered with hangings of crimson cloth.
+ Between each of these doors appeared a glass-case, containing
+ the sultan's private library; every volume was in manuscript,
+ with the name written on the edges of the leaves. Opposite
+ the doors and fire-place hung three gold cages, containing
+ artificial birds, which sang by mechanism. On one side was a
+ raised bench, on which was placed an embroidered towel, a
+ splendid vase, and basin for washing the hands and beard;
+ upon the wall over it was suspended an embroidered portfolio,
+ worked with silver on yellow leather, to contain the
+ petitions presented to the sultan when he goes in procession
+ to the mosque. Close to the door was placed a pair of yellow
+ boots and slippers, which are always at the entrance of every
+ apartment frequented by the sultan. Groups of arms, such as
+ pistols, sabres, and poniards, were displayed with great
+ taste and effect on the compartments of the walls; the
+ handles were covered with diamonds and jewels of large size,
+ which, as they glittered around, gave an almost dazzling
+ brilliancy to this sumptuous chamber, thus characterizing the
+ amusements of the man when divested of the ceremony and
+ formality of the sultan.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ INA.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ NEEDLE-WORK ALTAR-PIECE.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <i>(For the Mirror.)</i>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The town of Welwyn, Hertfordshire, was the last place of
+ residence of Dr. Young, author of "Night Thoughts," where he
+ was rector. His pious lady employed her leisure hours with
+ her needle, in the completion of a most elegant altar-piece,
+ which now embellishes the sacramental table in the church;
+ and, through the care of the parish clerk, this specimen of
+ the indefatigable mind of Mrs. Young has been surprisingly
+ preserved. The words down the centre,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ I AM
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THE BREAD
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ OF
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ LIFE,
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ have the appearance of being the production of a most
+ masterly pencil; and the word "life" is in as fine a state of
+ preservation as on the day when it was first presented by the
+ benevolent artist; every tint, including the light and shade
+ which surround the word, having withstood the ravages of
+ time, and been ingeniously preserved by a kind of gauze
+ covering.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ W.G.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LOCUSTS AND WILD HONEY.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It has not been till lately that any of the travellers into
+ Palestine have told what was meant by the locusts mentioned
+ by St. Matthew as part of the food of John the Baptist. Dr.
+ Clarke first related, that a tree grows in the Holy Land,
+ which is called the locust tree, and produces an eatable
+ fruit; but this fact was well known to many who had been in
+ the Mediterranean. The tree grows in several of the countries
+ which border that sea. It has been found in much greater
+ abundance in some parts of the East Indies, whence it has now
+ become an article of export. Many thousands of its pods are
+ annually imported by the East India Company; and, either
+ because the fruit is richer in more southern climates, or for
+ some other reason, a great quantity of them are shipped for
+ Venice and Trieste, where there is distilled from them a
+ liquor, which is supposed to be an antidote to the plague, or
+ at least useful in curing it. These pods are about twenty
+ inches long, and from half to three-quarters of an inch in
+ diameter. We call them pods for want of a term which would
+ more accurately describe them; but they are not flat, neither
+ have they that sort of hinge on one side, and slight
+ fastening on the other, which plainly show how the shells of
+ peas and beans are to be opened. On the contrary, these are
+ round; but there are two opposite lines along them, where the
+ colour alone would induce any one to suppose the skin to be,
+ as it is, thinner than elsewhere. Having the fruit before us
+ only in a dry state, we can describe it in no other; but at
+ present a knife could scarcely be made to penetrate the
+ thicker part, and does not very easily make its way into the
+ thinner. The fruit, which lies in little cells within, is a
+ pulp, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page340"
+ name="page340"></a>[pg 340]</span> or paste, somewhat like
+ that of tamarinds, but smoother, and not so sweet. There are
+ pips in it nearly as hard, and about half as large, as those
+ of a tamarind, containing a kernel in each. It should be
+ added, that in the stems of this locust tree wild bees still
+ deposit their honey.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ W.G.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ FLOWERS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>To the Editor of the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On reading the MIRROR, No. 337, my attention was attracted to
+ one of your many pleasant and amusing extracts from the
+ "Public Journals," bearing the title of "Flowers." Being
+ myself a great admirer of that beautiful and delightful part
+ of creation, I was led to peruse the article with somewhat
+ increased attention. In all ages flowers have been regarded
+ with peculiar sympathy; they have been associated with the
+ calm serenity of virtue; they have been strewed around the
+ altars of devotion; have been made to accompany the lonely,
+ unobtrusive works of merit; and hung around the grave of
+ faded and departed innocence, thus silently, but powerfully,
+ depicting virtue, the essence of felicity. Although I do not
+ consider you to be accountable for statements contained in
+ the articles extracted from other journals, still I presume
+ you would not knowingly make your work the vehicle of any
+ matter which would lead your readers astray. I have,
+ therefore, ventured to call your attention to a particular
+ part of the above article, and to correct what I presume to
+ be a misstatement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the article alluded to, the writer states, "It has been
+ said that flowers placed in bed-rooms are not wholesome; that
+ cannot," he remarks, "be meant of such as are in a state of
+ vegetation," &amp;c.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Now plants, it is well known, respire similarly to animals,
+ through the pores of their leaves. By the agency of the sun,
+ during the day, a quantity of pure gas, called oxygen, is
+ given out; but on the contrary, during the night, or absence
+ of the sun, gas of a most noxious and pernicious nature is
+ emitted, and at the same time a portion of the pure air
+ (oxygen gas) is absorbed. The greater part of the atmosphere
+ must therefore be impregnated with this deleterious gas.
+ Taking into consideration the confined state of a
+ bed-chamber, the great increase of perspiration of the body,
+ with the continual increase of carbonic gas from respiration,
+ and this in an apartment where every thing <i>ought</i> most
+ sedulously to be avoided which in the least tends to
+ deteriorate the atmosphere, it must be evident the practice
+ ought to be avoided, if we are desirous of preserving health.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Flowers in a state of vegetation are, I consider, more
+ pernicious <i>at night</i>, or during the absence of the sun,
+ than those plucked and put into water, provided they be not
+ immersed too long a time; for immediately the stem is severed
+ from the plant, the vital action, if it may be so termed,
+ ceases, and decomposition commences; but till the
+ decomposition has been going on some time, nothing of a
+ pernicious nature need be apprehended. In like manner,
+ directly the vital principle becomes extinct in animals,
+ decomposition ensues. For the space of five or six days,
+ however, no perceptible alteration of the fibres is visible;
+ but after that time a compound of gases begins to exhale from
+ the body, accompanied with a fetid odour, till the parts are
+ entirely decomposed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The effluvium arising from the <i>farina</i> and
+ <i>petals</i> is considered unwholesome, however agreeable it
+ may be to the senses, whether the plant be in a state of
+ vegetation or not, it being too powerful for the olfactory
+ nerve.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ S.S.T.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our pages are always open to the correction of our readers,
+ and in this instance we thank <i>S.S.T.</i> for the above,
+ although we think he has misconceived some portion of the
+ article on "Flowers," the writer adding to that passage
+ quoted by our correspondent, "<i>provided fresh air is
+ frequently introduced</i>"; of course, he does not refer to
+ the <i>night-time</i>, although it would have been clearer,
+ had he suggested the removal of flowers from bed-rooms during
+ the night.&mdash;ED.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CIRCULAR TEMPLES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These structures are generally supposed to have been built
+ with astronomical allusions, especially the noble temple at
+ <i>Stonehenge</i>. Circular temples existed among the
+ Israelites. In Exodus, c. xxiv. v. 4, it is written that
+ "Moses rose up early in the morning, and builded an altar
+ under the hill, and twelve pillars." Again in Joshua, iv. 9,
+ Joshua set up twelve stones; and it is well worthy of remark,
+ that the twelve pillars of Moses and Joshua correspond with
+ the number of stones of the inner circles at Abury. It is
+ possible that these stones were plastered over, and probably
+ highly ornamented, as in Deuteronomy, xxvii. 2, we read,
+ "Thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with
+ plaster;" and there is a large, upright stone in Ireland,
+ which, according to the legend of the country, was once
+ covered over with gold. On some of these
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page341" name="page341"></a>[pg
+ 341]</span> pillars it is likewise probable that certain
+ characters were traced, as among the Israelites words of the
+ law were written upon similar obelisks or columns.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The earliest temples in Greece were formed of obeliscal
+ columns; and in some parts of Africa the custom obtains to
+ this day. Hence the pillars of our present temples are the
+ most ancient; and subsequent builders of holy sanctuaries
+ filled up the intercolumniations till the temples were
+ constructed as we now see their ruins in Athens and
+ elsewhere. But many of the early temples were round; and it
+ is a curious fact, hitherto unnoticed, I believe, that the
+ altar end, the sanctum of our earliest Saxon churches, is
+ circular.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ JAMES SILVESTER.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ ST. OLAVE.&mdash;A MANX LEGEND.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Magnus, King of Norway, having committed sacrilege, by
+ opening the grave of St. Olave, he was commanded by the
+ spirit of the offended saint to perform the voluntary penance
+ of quitting the kingdom in thirty days. He obeyed this
+ intimation, and immediately left Norway. Having conquered
+ many of the Western Isles, at length he established himself
+ in the Isle of Man. Afterwards attempting the reduction of
+ Ireland, he was surrounded by the natives and slain, with the
+ whole of his followers.]
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Olave, of rocky Norway's saints, the holiest and the
+ best,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Entomb'd in tumulus, enjoys a calm and peerless rest;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By all of heav'ns votaries in saintly rank renown'd,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As high in blessedness, and chief in holy missal crown'd.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ The dead&mdash;in holy, stilly peace, the sacred dead
+ repose,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Afar from earth's turmoil and grief, and all of sick'ning
+ woes;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From racking pain, and withering pride, and avarice's
+ care,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Secure they rest in solitude, unaw'd by sin or snare.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ To sack the gloomy sepulchre of lately living clay,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From cheerful day and life remov'd, by dreaded death
+ away,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Is crime indeed of blackest hue, deserving exile's fate,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From native climes ordain'd to feel an outlaw's dreary
+ state.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Could Norway's priest-despising chief, deem sacrilege a
+ crime
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Fitting for absolution,&mdash;or dark penance of set time
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That daring such all dreaded sin, he gazes on the grave,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And tramples o'er the hallow'd dust of canoniz'd Olave.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Lone sepulchre in holy earth&mdash;sure wickedness so
+ dire,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of holy man, and sacred place, incenses heaven's ire;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Can less than ever banishment from Norway's ice bound
+ land,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Stay sure revenge&mdash;pursuing fate&mdash;and justice'
+ awful hand?
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Away he sails&mdash;the foaming seas as Corsair now he
+ laves,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Dauntless&mdash;heroic&mdash;daring winds, and
+ man-entombing waves,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To visit other lands afar,&mdash;to combat chiefs of
+ fame;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In battle-field to spread around the dread of Norway's
+ name.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Lone Mona's sea-girt isle he dares with spear and
+ flashing sword,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Usurping regal rule and right by power of pirate horde;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yet vengeance drear, and dark desert of direst actions,
+ crave
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A bloody death, a justice clear, and dark usurper's
+ grave.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ On Erin's lovely land he falls&mdash;awarded darksome
+ doom,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When, ruffian-like, he dared profane the saintly Olave's
+ tomb:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He leaves his conquests, kingdoms, crowns, and all of
+ earthly state,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To sleep in loneliness, and fill his dark predicted fate.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>Kirk Michael, Isle of Man</i>. A B.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <h2>
+ THE ANECDOTE GALLERY.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A LIVING ALCHEMIST.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ (<i>From Sir R. Phillips's Tour</i>.)
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ At Luton, Beds. Sir Richard hears of an ALCHEMIST, who lives
+ at the village of Lilley, midway between Luton and Hitchen.
+ The whole of his interview with this eccentric personage,
+ will doubtless be interesting to our readers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was four miles out of my road, but I thought a modern
+ alchemist worthy of a visit, particularly as several
+ inhabitants of Luton gravely assured me, that he had
+ succeeded in discovering the Philosopher's Stone, and also
+ the Universal Solvent. The reports about him would have
+ rendered it culpable not to have hazarded anything for a
+ personal interview. I learnt that he had been a man of
+ fashion, and at one time largely concerned in adventures on
+ the turf, but that for many years he had devoted himself to
+ his present pursuits; while for some time past, he had been
+ inaccessible and invisible to the world, the house being shut
+ and barricadoed, and the walls of his grounds protected by
+ hurdles, with spring-guns so planted as to resist intrusion
+ in every direction. Under these circumstances, I had no
+ encouragement to go to Lilley, but I thought that even the
+ external inspection of such premises would repay me for the
+ trouble. At Lilley, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page342"
+ name="page342"></a>[pg 342]</span> I inquired for his house
+ of various people, and they looked ominous; some smiled,
+ others shook their heads, and all appeared surprised at the
+ approach of an apparent visiter to Mr. Kellerman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The appearance of the premises did not belie vulgar report. I
+ could not help shuddering at seeing the high walls of
+ respectable premises, lined at the top with double tiers of
+ hurdles, and on driving my chaise to the front of the house,
+ I perceived the whole in a state of horrid dilapidation.
+ Contrary, however, to my expectation, I found a young man who
+ appeared to belong to the out-buildings, and he took charge
+ of my card for his master, and went to the back part of the
+ house to deliver it. The front windows on the ground-floor
+ and upper stories were entirely closed by inside shutters,
+ much of the glass was broken, and the premises appeared
+ altogether as if deserted. I was pleased at the words, "My
+ master will be happy to see you," and in a minute the front
+ door was opened, and Mr. Kellerman presented himself.&mdash;I
+ lament that I have not the pencil of Hogarth, for a more
+ original figure never was seen. He was about six feet high,
+ and of athletic make; on his head was a white night-cap, and
+ his dress consisted of a long great-coat once green, and he
+ had a sort of jockey waistcoat with three tiers of pockets.
+ His manner was extremely polite and graceful, but my
+ attention was chiefly absorbed by his singular physiognomy.
+ His complexion was deeply sallow, and his eyes large, black,
+ and rolling. He conducted me into a very large parlour, with
+ a window looking backward, and having locked the door, and
+ put the key in his pocket, he desired me to be seated in one
+ of two large arm chairs covered with sheepskins. The room was
+ a realization of the well-known picture of Teniers'
+ Alchemist. The floor was covered with retorts, crucibles,
+ alembics, jars, bottles in various shapes, intermingled with
+ old books piled upon each other, with a sufficient quantity
+ of dust and cobwebs. Different shelves were filled in the
+ same manner, and on one side stood his bed. In a corner
+ somewhat shaded from the light, I beheld two heads, white,
+ with dark wigs on them; I entertained no doubt therefore,
+ that among other fancies he was engaged in re-making the
+ brazen speaking head of Roger Bacon and Albertus. Many
+ persons might have felt alarmed at the peculiarity of my
+ situation, but being accustomed to mingle with eccentric
+ characters, and having no fear from any pretensions of the
+ black art, I was infinitely gratified by all I saw.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Having stated the reports which I had heard, relative to his
+ wonderful discoveries, I told him frankly that mine was a
+ visit of curiosity, and stated that if what I had heard was
+ matter of fact, the researches of the ancient chemists had
+ been unjustly derided. He then gave me a history of his
+ studies, mentioned some men whom I had happened to know in
+ London, who he alleged had assured him that they had made
+ gold. That having in consequence examined the works of the
+ ancient alchemists, and discovered the key which they had
+ studiously concealed from the multitude, he had pursued their
+ system under the influence of new lights; and after suffering
+ numerous disappointments, owing to the ambiguity with which
+ they described their processes, he had, at length, happily
+ succeeded; had made gold, and could make as much more as he
+ pleased, even to the extent of paying off the national debt
+ in the coin of the realm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I yielded to the declaration, expressed my satisfaction at so
+ extraordinary a discovery, and asked him, to oblige me so
+ far, as to show me some of the precious metal which he had
+ made.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Not so," said he; "I will show it to no one. I made Lord
+ Liverpool the offer, that if he would introduce me to the
+ king, I would show it to his majesty; but Lord Liverpool
+ insolently declined, on the ground that there was no
+ precedent; and I am therefore determined, that the secret
+ shall die with me. It is true that, in order to avenge myself
+ of such contempt, I made a communication to the French
+ ambassador, Prince Polignac, and offered to go to France, and
+ transfer to the French government, the entire advantages of
+ the discovery; but after deluding me, and shuffling for some
+ time, I found it necessary to treat him with the same
+ contempt as the others."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I expressed my convictions in regard to the double dealing of
+ men in office.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "O," said he, "as to that, every court in Europe well knows
+ that I have made the discovery, and they are all in
+ confederacy against me; lest by giving it to any one, I
+ should make that country master of all the rest&mdash;the
+ world, Sir," he exclaimed with great emotion, "is in my hands
+ and my power."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Satisfied with this announcement of the discovery of the
+ philosopher's stone, I now inquired about the sublime
+ alkahest or universal solvent, and whether he had succeeded
+ in deciphering the enigmatical descriptions of the ancient
+ writers on that most curious topic.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Certainly," he replied, "I succeeded in that several years
+ ago."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page343" name="page343"></a>[pg
+ 343]</span> "Then," I proceeded, "have you effected the other
+ great desideratum, the fixing of mercury?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Than that process," said he, "there is nothing more easy; at
+ the same time it is proper I should inform you, that there
+ are a class of impostors, who mistaking the ancient writers,
+ pretend it can be done by heat; but I can assure you, it can
+ only be effected by water."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I then besought him to do me the favour, to show me some of
+ his fixed mercury, having once seen some which had been fixed
+ by cold.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This proposition, however, he declined, because he said he
+ had refused others. "That you may, however, be satisfied that
+ I have made great discoveries, here is a bottle of oil, which
+ I have purified, and rendered as transparent as spring water.
+ I was offered &pound;10,000. for this discovery; but I am so
+ neglected, and so conspired against, that I am determined it
+ and all my other discoveries shall die with me."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I now inquired, whether he had been alarmed by the ignorance
+ of the people in the country, so as to shut himself up in so
+ unusual a manner.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," he replied, "not on their account wholly. They are
+ ignorant and insolent enough; but it was to protect myself
+ against the governments of Europe, who are determined to get
+ possession of my secret by force. I have been," he exclaimed,
+ "twice fired at in one day through that window, and three
+ times attempted to be poisoned. They believed I had written a
+ book containing my secrets, and to get possession of this
+ book has been their object. To baffle them, I burnt all that
+ I had ever written, and I have so guarded the windows with
+ spring-guns, and have such a collection of combustibles in
+ the range of bottles which stand at your elbow, that I could
+ destroy a whole regiment of soldiers if sent against me." He
+ then related, that as a further protection he lived entirely
+ in that room, and permitted no one to come into the house;
+ while he had locked up every room except that with patent
+ padlocks, and sealed the key-holes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It would be tedious and impossible to follow Mr. Kellerman
+ through a conversation of two or three hours, in which he
+ enlarged upon the merits of the ancient alchemists, and on
+ the blunders and impertinent assumptions of the modern
+ chemists, with whose writings and names it is fair to
+ acknowledge he seemed well acquainted. He quoted the
+ authorities of Roger and Lord Bacon, Paracelsus, Boyle,
+ Boerhaave, Woolfe, and others, to justify his pursuits. As to
+ the term philosopher's stone, he alleged that it was a mere
+ figure, to deceive the vulgar. He appeared also to give full
+ credit to the silly story about Dee's assistant, Kelly,
+ finding some of the powder of projection in the tomb of Roger
+ Bacon at Glastonbury, by means of which, as was said, Kelly
+ for a length of time supported himself in princely splendour.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I inquired whether he had discovered the blacker than black
+ of Apollonius Tyaneus; and this, he assured me, he had
+ effected; it was itself the powder of projection for
+ producing gold.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Amidst all this delusion and illusion on these subjects, Mr.
+ Kellerman behaved in other respects with great propriety and
+ politeness; and having unlocked the door, he took me to the
+ doors of some of the other rooms, to show me how safely they
+ were padlocked; and on taking leave, directed me in my course
+ towards Bedford.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a few minutes, I overtook a man, and on inquiring what the
+ people thought of Mr. Kellerman, he told me that he had lived
+ with him for seven years; that he was one of eight assistants
+ whom he kept for the purpose of superintending his crucibles,
+ two at a time relieving each other every six hours; that he
+ had exposed some preparations to intense heat for many months
+ at a time, but that all except one crucible had burst, and
+ that he called on him to observe, that it contained the true
+ "blacker than black." The man protested, however, that no
+ gold had ever been made, and that no mercury had ever been
+ fixed; for he was quite sure, that if he had made any
+ discovery, he could not have concealed it from the
+ assistants; while, on the contrary, they witnessed his severe
+ disappointments, at the termination of his most elaborate
+ experiments.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On my telling the man that I had been in his room, he seemed
+ much astonished at my boldness; for he assured me, that he
+ carried a loaded pistol in every one of his six waistcoat
+ pockets. I learnt also from this man, that he has or had
+ considerable property in Jamaica; that he has lived in the
+ premises at Lilley about twenty-three years, and during
+ fourteen of them pursued his alchemical researches with
+ unremitting ardour; but for the last few years shut himself
+ up as a close prisoner, and lived in the manner I have
+ described.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Here lyeth wrapt in clay,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The body of William Wray:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have no more to say.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>Weever's Epitaphs</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page344" name="page344"></a>[pg
+ 344]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Notes of a Reader.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ COURT OF CHARLES II.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ In the last No. of the <i>Edinburgh Review</i>, there is an
+ admirably written article on Hallam's "Constitutional
+ History," not a mere essay, but somewhat more like a review
+ than usual. It contains an abundance of florid, bold, and
+ vigorous writing, extending through upwards of 70 pages.
+ Among the most striking passages we notice a parallel between
+ Cromwell and Napoleon, drawn with considerable force. But our
+ extract is from the lighter portion, as the following
+ ludicrous sketches of some of the enormities of Charles II.
+ "Towards the close of the Protectorate, many signs indicated
+ that a time of license was at hand. But the restoration of
+ Charles II rendered the change wonderfully rapid and violent.
+ A deep and general taint infected the morals of the most
+ influential classes, and spread itself through every province
+ of letters. Poetry inflamed the passions; philosophy
+ undermined the principles; divinity itself, inculcating an
+ abject reverence for the court, gave additional effect to its
+ licentious example. ... The favourite duchess stamps about
+ Whitehall, cursing and swearing. The ministers employ their
+ time at the council board in making mouths at each other, and
+ taking off each other's gestures for the amusement of the
+ king. The peers at a conference begin to pommel each other,
+ and to tear collars and periwigs. A speaker in the House of
+ Commons gives offence to the court. He is way-laid by a gang
+ of bullies, and his nose is cut to the bone. ... The second
+ generation of the statesmen of this reign, were worthy of the
+ schools in which they had been trained, of the gaming table
+ of Grammont, and the tiring room of Nell &mdash;&mdash;."
+ This is but a small portion of the good set terms in which
+ the reviewer illustrates the licentiousness of the times.
+ Speaking of Clarendon, he says, "Mr. Hallam scarcely makes
+ sufficient allowance for the wear and tear which honesty
+ almost necessarily sustains in the friction of political
+ life, and which in times so rough as those through which
+ Clarendon passed, must be very considerable. When these are
+ fairly estimated, we think that his integrity may be allowed
+ to pass muster." Perhaps political honesty is like Joseph
+ Surface's French plate, or the tinsel spread over a pair of
+ Birmingham saleshop candlesticks, whose tenderness will not
+ withstand the wear and tear of conveyance in the purchaser's
+ pocket. But the oddity of the reviewer's comparisons even
+ puts one in good humour with their virulence.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ STREET SYMPATHIES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ During "the season" the veriest stranger who has an eye and
+ ear, and thoughts, must find in London sufficient to occupy
+ his attention; true, he may start and sigh, to think that of
+ the busy and enormous multitude around him, not one would
+ care, if, treading on yonder bit of orange peel, he should
+ slip off the flagway, and falling beneath the wheel of that
+ immense coal-wagon, have his thigh crushed to atoms, while
+ you'd be saying "Jack Robinson." But if he do sigh, the more
+ fool he; first, because "grieving's a folly," as the old sea
+ song hath it; next because he is mistaken in supposing that
+ no one would feel interested in his misfortune. There are two
+ upon the very flagway with him, who would evince the greatest
+ sympathy in his fate; the one is a surgeon's apprentice, who,
+ with anxious care, would bear him off to <i>his</i> hospital,
+ that he might "try his 'prentice hand" to doctor him while
+ living, and dissect him when dead; and the other is a running
+ reporter to one of the morning papers, who would with gentle
+ and soothing accents inquire his name, condition, and abode,
+ to swell the paragraph, and increase his
+ pay.&mdash;<i>Blackwood's Magazine.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LINES TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ON THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.
+ </h3>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ My heart is with you, Bulwer, and portrays
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The blessings of your first paternal days;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To clasp the pledge of purest, holiest faith,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To taste one's own and love-born infant's breath,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I know, nor would for worlds forget the bliss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I've felt that to a father's heart that kiss,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As o'er its little lips you smile and cling,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Has fragrance which Arabia could not bring.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Such are the joys, ill mock'd in ribald song,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In thought, ev'n fresh'ning life our life-time long,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That give our souls on earth a heaven-drawn bloom;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Without them we are weeds upon a tomb.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Joy be to thee, and her whose lot with thine,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Propitious stars saw Truth and Passion twine!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Joy be to her who in your rising name
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Feels Love's bower brighten'd by the beams of Fame!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I lack'd a father's claim to her&mdash;but knew
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Regard for her young years so pure and true,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That, when she at the altar stood your bride,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A sire could scarce have felt more sire-like pride.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>T. Campbell</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ The Duc de Laval has the character of being a perfect fool.
+ It is said that on one occasion he talked of having received
+ an anonymous letter, signed by all the officers of his
+ regiment; that on another, he ordered ottomans to be placed
+ in the four corners of his octagon
+ saloon!&mdash;<i>Josephine's Memoirs</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page345" name="page345"></a>[pg
+ 345]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ CAUSE AND EFFECT.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ Infinite are the consequences which follow from a single, and
+ often apparently a very insignificant circumstance. Paley
+ himself narrowly escaped being a baker; here was a decision
+ upon which hung in one scale, perhaps, the immortal interests
+ of thousands, and, in the other, the gratification of the
+ taste of the good people of Giggleswick for hot rolls.
+ Cromwell was near being strangled in his cradle by a monkey;
+ here was this wretched ape wielding in his paws the destinies
+ of nations. Then, again, how different in their kind, as well
+ as in their magnitude, are these consequences from anything
+ that might have been <i>&agrave; priori</i> expected. Henry
+ VIII. is smitten with the beauty of a girl of eighteen; and
+ ere long,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "The Reformation beams from Bullen's eyes."
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ Charles Wesley refuses to go with his wealthy namesake to
+ Ireland, and the inheritance, which would have been his, goes
+ to build up the fortunes of a Wellesley instead of a Wesley;
+ and to this decision of a schoolboy (as Mr. Southey observes)
+ Methodism may owe its existence, and England its
+ military&mdash;and, we trust we may now add, its civil and
+ political&mdash;glory&mdash;<i>Quarterly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ SERVANTS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A fund has lately been established at Stockholm, from which
+ it is intended to reward good and faithful servants. The king
+ has contributed to it 1,000 crowns; the prince royal 500; and
+ the princess royal 300. This has been suggested as an example
+ worthy of our imitation; many legacies, &amp;c. have from
+ time to time been bequeathed for the encouragement of
+ faithful servants in England; some are claimed, but the
+ majority are shamefully misapplied by those to whom their
+ distribution has been entrusted.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LONDON LUXURIES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A capital like London is a Maelstrom&mdash;an immense
+ whirlpool&mdash;whose gyrations sweep in whatever is
+ peculiarly desirable from the most distant regions of the
+ empire&mdash;so active becomes the love of gain when set in
+ motion by the love of luxury. We recollect once being on
+ shipboard to the north of Duncan's Bay Head, and out of sight
+ of land, the nearest being the Feroe Islands:&mdash;we were
+ walking the deck, watching a whale which was gamboling at
+ some distance, throwing up his huge side to the sun, and
+ sending ever and anon a sheet of water and foam from his
+ nostrils. Our thoughts were on Hecla and on the icebergs of
+ the Pole, on the Scalds of Iceland and the sea-kings of
+ Norway, when a sail hove in sight: we asked what craft it
+ was&mdash;and were answered, "a Gravesend brig dredging for
+ lobsters." Never was enchantment so effectually
+ broken&mdash;never stage-trick in pantomime more successfully
+ played off. Scene changes from Feroe and Iceland to the
+ Albion in Aldersgate-street&mdash;Exeunt Scald, champion, and
+ whale&mdash;Enter common councilman, turbot, and
+ lobster-sauce.&mdash;<i>Quarterly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ THE BEAUTIFUL.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ To be convinced that, at some period or another of their
+ history, the Egyptians had conceived a <i>beau-ideal</i>
+ superior to the beautiful which nature habitually produced in
+ their country, we have only to examine the young Memnon, at
+ the British Museum, and the heads of many of the sphinxes
+ which remain.&mdash;<i>Weekly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ ALGEBRA.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ Algebra I was charmed with, and found so much pleasure in
+ resolving its questions, that I have often sat till morning
+ at the engaging work, without a notion of its being day till
+ I opened the shutters of my closet. I recommend this study in
+ particular to young gentlemen, and am satisfied, if they
+ would but take some pains at first to understand it, they
+ would have so great a relish for its operations, as to prefer
+ them many an evening to clamorous pleasures; or, at least,
+ not be uneasy for being alone now and then, since their
+ algebra was with them.&mdash;<i>Life of John Buncle.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A LUCKY MATCH.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ The late Mr. Locke, of Norbury Park, commissioned one
+ Jenkins, a dealer in pictures, residing at Rome, to send him
+ any piece of sculpture which might not exceed fifty guineas.
+ Jenkins sent a head of Minerva, which Mr. Locke, not liking,
+ returned, paying the carriage, and all other expenses.
+ Nollekens, who was then also at Rome, having purchased a
+ trunk of Minerva for fifty pounds, upon the return of this
+ head, found that its proportion and character accorded with
+ his torso. This discovery induced him to accept an offer made
+ by Jenkins of the head itself; and 220 guineas to share the
+ profits. After Nollekens had joined the head and trunk, or,
+ what is called "restored it," which he did at the expense of
+ twenty guineas more for stone and labour, it proved a most
+ fortunate hit, for they sold it for the enormous sum of 1,000
+ guineas! and it is now at Newby, in
+ Yorkshire.&mdash;<i>Nollekens and his Times.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page346" name="page346"></a>[pg
+ 346]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ NELSON.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ We received the following little anecdote from a letter of a
+ gentleman now at the head of the medical profession, with
+ which he favoured us shortly after perusing Salmonia. "I was
+ (says our friend) at the Naval Hospital, at Yarmouth, on the
+ morning when Nelson, after the battle of Copenhagen (having
+ sent the wounded before him,) arrived at the Roads, and
+ landed on the jutty. The populace soon surrounded him, and
+ the military were drawn up in the market-place ready to
+ receive him; but making his way through the crowd, and the
+ dust, and the clamour, he went straight to the hospital. I
+ went round the wards with him, and was much interested in
+ observing his demeanour to the sailors; he stopped at every
+ bed, and to every man he had something kind and cheering to
+ say. At length, he stopped opposite a bed on which a sailor
+ was lying who had lost his right arm close to the
+ shoulder-joint, and the following short dialogue passed
+ between, them:"&mdash;<i>Nelson</i>. "Well, Jack, what's the
+ matter with you?"&mdash;<i>Sailor</i>. "Lost my right arm,
+ your honour."&mdash;Nelson paused, looked down at his own
+ empty sleeve, then at the sailor, and said playfully, "Well,
+ Jack, then you and I are spoiled for fishermen&mdash;cheer
+ up, my brave fellow." And he passed briskly on to the next
+ bed; but these few words had a magical effect upon the poor
+ fellow, for I saw his eyes sparkle with delight as Nelson
+ turned away and pursued his course through the wards. As this
+ was the only occasion on which I saw Nelson, I may, possibly,
+ overrate the value of the incident.&mdash;<i>Q. Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ THE BRITISH ALMANAC.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ This work, though only in its second year, is too well known
+ to be benefited by our recommendation. As a compilation, with
+ occasional originality, it is one of the best executed
+ labours of the Society from whom it emanates, and who, from
+ the multiplicity of facts here assembled, may be called "The
+ Society for the" <i>Condensation</i> "of Useful Knowledge."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the Almanac for 1829 we notice several improvements upon
+ that of last year. The "Remarks on Weather" are valuable; and
+ the "Garden Plants in Flower" in each month, in themselves
+ extremely interesting, contrast the unchanging course of
+ nature with the grand revolutions and events of the column of
+ "Anniversaries." Thus, what different emotions are produced
+ by reading April 6, "First Abdication of Bonaparte, 1814,"
+ and "Primrose Peerless (<i>Narcissus biflorus</i>) in
+ flower." The "Useful Remarks," though not a new feature in an
+ almanac, are profitable helps to social duties, especially
+ when drawn from such a source as Owen Feltham's
+ Resolves&mdash;a golden treasury of world-knowledge, which
+ may serve as a text-book for every family. Among the useful
+ facts we notice the following:&mdash;"By a parliamentary
+ return of the year 1828 we find that the stamp duty paid upon
+ the almanacs of England amounts to 30,136<i>l</i>. 3<i>s</i>.
+ 9<i>d</i>.&mdash;which, the duty being <i>fifteen-pence</i>
+ upon each almanac, exhibits a circulation of 451,593
+ annually."
+ </p>
+ <center>
+ <i>Remarks on Weather.</i>
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ "The mean temperature of London is about 2&deg; higher than
+ that of the surrounding country; the difference exists
+ chiefly in the night, and is greatest in winter and least in
+ summer."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Mr. Howard is of opinion, from a careful comparison of a
+ long series of observations, that a wet spring is an
+ indication of a dry time for the ensuing harvest."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The greatest depression of temperature in every month
+ happens, all other circumstances being the same, a short time
+ before sun-rise."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There are only two months, namely, July and August, in
+ which, taking into consideration the power of radiation,
+ vegetation, in certain situations, is not exposed to a
+ temperature of 32&deg;."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The temperature of August is but little reduced, owing to
+ the prevalence of hot nights. The action of the sun's rays is
+ considerably assisted by the warm earth which radiates heat
+ into the air; while, in spring, it absorbs every day a
+ proportion of the heat which the sun produces."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "<i>October</i>&mdash;Now that the fruits of the earth are
+ laid in store, the increase of wet is attended by no
+ injurious effects, the remaining heat of the earth is
+ preserved from needless expenditure, and guarded from
+ dissipation, by an increasing canopy of clouds, by which the
+ effect of radiation is greatly reduced."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The comparative warmth of November is owing to the heat
+ given out by the condensation of the vapour in the atmosphere
+ into rain."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The mean temperature of the whole year is not found to vary,
+ in different years, more than four degrees and a half."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ Such as hold superstition sweet to the soul, and love to
+ exercise their ingenuity in hieroglyphics, the baseless
+ grounds of tea, and lucky dreams and omens, will find little
+ amusement in the British Almanac; but their absence is more
+ than supplied by information "which almost every man engaged
+ in the world requires."
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page347" name="page347"></a>[pg
+ 347]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ THE SKETCH BOOK.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A VISION OF PURGATORY.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <i>By William Maginn, Esq.</i>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The churchyard of Inistubber is as lonely a one as you would
+ wish to see on a summer's day, or avoid on a winter's night.
+ Under the east window of the church is a mouldering vault of
+ the De Lacys,&mdash;a branch of a family descended from one
+ of the conquerors of Ireland; and there they are buried, when
+ the allotted time calls them to the tomb. Sir Theodore De
+ Lacy had lived a jolly, thoughtless life, rising early for
+ the hunt, and retiring late from the bottle. A good-humoured
+ bachelor who took no care about the management of his
+ household, provided that the hounds were in order for his
+ going out, and the table ready on his coming in. As for the
+ rest,&mdash;an easy landlord, a quiet master, a lenient
+ magistrate (except to poachers,) and a very excellent foreman
+ of a grand jury. He died one evening while laughing at a
+ story which he had heard regularly thrice a week for the last
+ fifteen years of his life, and his spirit mingled with the
+ claret. In former times when the De Lacys were buried, there
+ was a grand breakfast, and all the party rode over to the
+ church to see the last rites paid. The keeners lamented; the
+ country people had a wake before the funeral, and a dinner
+ after it&mdash;and there was an end. But with the march of
+ mind comes trouble and vexation. A man has now-a-days no
+ certainty of quietness in his coffin&mdash;unless it be a
+ patent one. He is laid down in the grave, and the next
+ morning finds himself called upon to demonstrate an
+ interesting fact! No one, I believe, admires this ceremony,
+ and it is not to be wondered at that Sir Theodore De Lacy
+ held it in especial horror. "I'd like," said he one evening,
+ "to catch one of the thieves coming after me when I'm
+ dead&mdash;By the God of War, I'd break every bone in his
+ body;&mdash;but," he added with a sigh, "as I suppose I'll
+ not be able to take my own part then, upon you I leave it,
+ Larry Sweeney, to watch me three days and three nights after
+ they plant me under the sod. There's Doctor Dickenson there,
+ I see the fellow looking at me&mdash;fill your glass,
+ Doctor&mdash;here's your health! and shoot him, Larry, do you
+ hear, shoot the Doctor like a cock, if he ever comes stirring
+ up my poor old bones from their roost of Inistubber." "Why,
+ then," Larry answered, accepting the glass which followed
+ this command, "long life to both your honours; and it's I
+ that would like to be putting a bullet into Doctor
+ Dickenson&mdash;heaven between him and harm&mdash;for hauling
+ your honour away, as if you was a horse's head, to a bonfire.
+ There's nothing, I 'shure you, gintlemin, poor as I am, that
+ would give me greater pleasure." "We feel obliged, Larry"
+ said Sir Theodore, "for your good wishes." "Is it I pull you
+ out of the grave, indeed!" continued the whipper-in, for such
+ he was, &mdash;"I'd let nobody pull your honour out of any
+ place, saving 'twas purgatory; and out of that I'd pull you
+ myself, if I saw you going <i>there</i>." "I am of opinion,
+ Larry," said Doctor Dickenson, "you would turn tail if you
+ saw Sir Theodore on that road. You might go further, and fare
+ worse, you know." "Turn tail!" replied Larry, "it is I that
+ wouldn't&mdash;I appale to St. Patrick himself over
+ beyond"&mdash;pointing to a picture of the Prime Saint of
+ Ireland, which hung in gilt daubery behind his master's
+ chair, right opposite to him. To Larry's horror and
+ astonishment, the picture fixing its eyes upon him, winked
+ with the most knowing air, as if acknowledging the appeal.
+ "What makes you turn so white then at the very thought," said
+ the doctor, interpreting the visible consternation of our
+ hero in his own way. "Nothing particular," answered Larry;
+ "but a wakeness has come strong over me, gintlemin, and if
+ you'd have no objection, I'd like to go into the air for a
+ bit." Leave was of course granted, and Larry retired amid the
+ laughter of the guests&mdash;but as he retreated, he could
+ not avoid casting a glance on the awful picture&mdash;and
+ again the Saint winked, with a most malicious smile. It was
+ impossible to endure the repeated infliction, and Larry
+ rushed down the stairs in an agony of fright and amazement.
+ "May be," thought he, "it might be my own eyes that wasn't
+ quite steady&mdash;or the flame of the candle. But
+ no&mdash;he winked at me as plain as ever I winked at Judy
+ Donaghue of a May morning. What he manes by it I can't
+ say&mdash;but there's no use of thinking about it&mdash;no,
+ nor of talking neither, for who' d believe me if I tould them
+ of it?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next evening Sir Theodore died, as has been mentioned;
+ and in due time thereafter was buried according to the custom
+ of the family, by torch-light, in the churchyard of
+ Inistubber. All was fitly performed; and although Dickenson
+ had no design upon the jovial knight&mdash;and if he had not,
+ there was nobody within fifteen miles that could be suspected
+ of such an outrage,&mdash;yet Larry Sweeney was determined to
+ make good his promise of watching his master. "I'd think
+ little of telling a lie to him, by the
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page348" name="page348"></a>[pg
+ 348]</span> way of no harm when he was alive," said he,
+ wiping his eyes, as soon as the last of the train had
+ departed, leaving him with a single companion in the lonely
+ cemetery; "but now that he's dead&mdash;God rest his
+ soul!&mdash;I'd scorn it. So Jack Kinaley, as behoves my
+ first cousin's son, stay you with me here this blessed night,
+ for betune (between) you and I, it an't lucky to stay by
+ one's self in this ruinated old rookery, where ghosts, God
+ help us, is as thick as bottles in Sir Theodore's cellar!"
+ "Never you mind that, Larry," said Kinaley, a discharged
+ soldier, who had been through all the campaigns of the
+ Peninsula; "never mind, I say, such botherations. Han't I
+ lain in bivouack on the field at Salamanca, and Tallawara,
+ and the Pyrumnees, and many another place beside, where there
+ was dead corpses lying about in piles, and there was no more
+ ghosts than kneebuckles in a ridgemint of Highlanders. Here,
+ let me prime them pieces, and hand us over the bottle; we'll
+ stay snug under this east window, for the wind's coming down
+ the hill, and I defy"&mdash;"None of that bould talk, Jack,"
+ said his cousin; "as for what ye saw in foreign parts, of
+ dead men killed afighting, sure that's nothing to the
+ dead&mdash;God rest 'em!&mdash;that's here. There you see,
+ they had company one with the other, and being killed
+ fresh-like that morning, had no heart to stir; but here,
+ faith! 'tis a horse of another colour." "May be it is," said
+ Jack, "but the night's coming on; so I'll turn in. Wake me if
+ you sees any thing; and after I've got my two hours' rest,
+ I'll relieve you."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With these words the soldier turned on his side, under
+ shelter of a grave, and as his libations had been rather
+ copious during the day, it was not long before he gave
+ audible testimony that the dread of supernatural visitants
+ had had no effect in disturbing the even current of his
+ fancy. Although Larry had not opposed the proposition of his
+ kinsman, yet he felt by no means at ease. He put in practice
+ all the usually recommended nostrums for keeping away
+ unpleasant thoughts:&mdash;all would not do. "If it was a
+ common, dacent, quite (quiet,) well-behaved churchyard
+ a'self," thought Larry, half-aloud&mdash;"but when 'tis a
+ place like this forsaken ould berrin'-ground, which is noted
+ for villiany"&mdash;"For what, Larry?" said a gentleman,
+ stepping out of a niche which contained the only statue time
+ had spared. It was the figure of Saint Colman, to whom the
+ church was dedicated. Larry had been looking at the figure,
+ as it shone forth in ebon and ivory in the light and shadow
+ of the now high-careering moon, "For what, Larry," said the
+ gentleman,&mdash;"for what do you say the churchyard is
+ noted?" "For nothing at all, plase your honour," replied
+ Larry, "except the height of gentility." The stranger was
+ about four feet high, dressed in what might be called flowing
+ garments,&mdash;if, in spite of their form, their rigidity
+ did not deprive them of all claim to such an appellation. He
+ wore an antique mitre upon his head; his hands were folded
+ upon his breast; and over his right shoulder rested a
+ pastoral crook. There was a solemn expression in his
+ countenance, and his eye might truly be called stony. His
+ beard could not be well said to wave upon his bosom; but it
+ lay upon it in ample profusion, stiffer than that of a Jew on
+ a frosty morning after mist. In short, as Larry soon
+ discovered to his horror, on looking up at the niche, it was
+ no other than Saint Colman himself, who had stept forth,
+ indignant (in all probability) at the stigma cast by the
+ watcher of the dead on the churchyard of which his Saintship
+ was patron. He smiled with a grisly solemnity&mdash;just such
+ a smile as you might imagine would play round the lips of a
+ milestone (if it had any,) at the recantation so quickly
+ volunteered by Larry. "Well," said he, "Lawrence
+ Sweeney"&mdash;"How well the old rogue," thought Larry,
+ "knows my name!" "Since you profess yourself such an admirer
+ of the merits of the churchyard of Inistubber, get up and
+ follow me, till I show you the civilities of the
+ place&mdash;for I am master here, and must do the honours."
+ "Willingly would I go with your worship," replied our friend;
+ "but you see here I am engaged to Sir Theodore, who, though a
+ good master, was a mighty passionate man when every thing was
+ not done as he ordered it; and I am feared to stir." "Sir
+ Theodore," said the Saint, "will not blame you for following
+ me. I assure you he will not." "But then," said
+ Larry&mdash;"Follow me!" cried the Saint, in a hollow voice,
+ and casting upon him his stony eye, drew poor Larry after
+ him, as the bridal guest was drawn by the lapidary glance of
+ the Ancient Mariner; or, as Larry himself afterwards
+ expressed it, "as a jaw tooth is wrinched out of an ould
+ woman with a pair of pinchers." The Saint strode before him
+ in silence, not in the least incommoded by the stones and
+ rubbish, which at every step sadly contributed to the
+ discomfiture of Larry's shins, who followed his marble
+ conductor into a low vault, situated at the west end of the
+ church. The path lay through coffins piled up on each side of
+ the way in various <span class="pagenum"><a id="page349"
+ name="page349"></a>[pg 349]</span> degrees of decomposition;
+ and, excepting that the solid footsteps of the saintly guide,
+ as they smote heavily on the floor of stone, broke the deadly
+ silence, all was still. Stumbling and staggering along,
+ directed only by the casual glimpses of light afforded by the
+ moon, where it broke through the dilapidated roof of the
+ vault, and served to discover only sights of woe, Larry
+ followed. He soon felt that he was descending, and could not
+ help wondering at the length of the journey. He began to
+ entertain the most unpleasant suspicions as to the character
+ of his conductor;&mdash;but what could he do? Flight was out
+ of the question, and to think of resistance was absurd.
+ "Needs must, they say," thought he to himself, "when the
+ devil drives. I see it's much the same when a saint, leads."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At last the dolorous march had an end; and not a little to
+ Larry's amazement, he found that his guide had brought him to
+ the gate of a lofty hall, before which a silver lamp, filled
+ with naphtha, "yielded light as from a sky."&mdash;From
+ within loud sounds of merriment were ringing; and it was
+ evident, from the jocular harmony and the tinkling of
+ glasses, that some subterraneous catch-club were not idly
+ employed over the bottle. "Who's there?" said a porter,
+ roughly responding to the knock of Saint Colman. "Be so
+ good," said the Saint, mildly, "my very good fellow, as to
+ open the door without further questions, or I'll break your
+ head. I'm bringing a gentleman here on a visit, whose
+ business is pressing." "May be so," thought Larry, "but what
+ that business may be, is more than I can tell." The porter
+ sulkily complied with the order, after having apparently
+ communicated the intelligence that a stranger was at hand;
+ for a deep silence immediately followed the tipsy clamour;
+ and Larry, sticking close to his guide, whom he now looked
+ upon almost as a friend, when compared with these underground
+ revellers to whom he was about to be introduced, followed him
+ through a spacious vestibule, which gradually sloped into a
+ low-arched room, where the company was assembled. And a
+ strange-looking company it was. Seated round a long table
+ were three-and-twenty grave and venerable personages,
+ bearded, mitred, stoled, and croziered,&mdash;all living
+ statues of stone, like the Saint who had walked out of his
+ niche. On the drapery before them were figured the images of
+ the sun, moon, and stars&mdash;the inexplicable
+ bear&mdash;the mystic temple, built by the hand of
+ Hiram&mdash;and other symbols, of which the uninitiated knew
+ nothing. The square, the line, the trowel, were not wanting,
+ and the hammer was lying in front of the chair. Labour,
+ however, was over, and the time for refreshment having
+ arrived, each of the stony brotherhood had a flagon before
+ him; and when we mention that the Saints were Irish, and that
+ St. Patrick in person was in the chair, it is not to be
+ wondered at that the mitres, in some instances, hung rather
+ loosely on the side of the heads of some of the canonized
+ compotators. Among the company were found St. Senanus of
+ Limerick, St. Declan of Ardmore, St. Canice of Kilkenny, St.
+ Finbar of Cork, St. Michan of Dublin, St. Brandon of Kerry,
+ St. Fachnan of Ross, and others of that holy brotherhood; a
+ vacant place, which completed the four-and-twentieth, was
+ left for St. Colman, who, as every body knows, is of Cloyne;
+ and he, having taken his seat, addressed the president, to
+ inform him that he had brought the man. The man (viz. Larry
+ himself) was awestruck with the company in which he so
+ unexpectedly found himself; and trembled all over when, on
+ the notice of his guide, the eight-and-forty eyes of stone
+ were turned directly upon himself. "You have just nicked the
+ night to a shaving, Larry," said St. Patrick: "this is our
+ chapter-night, and myself and brethren are here 'assembled on
+ merry occasion.'&mdash;You know who I am?" "God bless your
+ reverence," said Larry, "it's I that do well. Often did I see
+ your picture hanging over the door of places where it
+ is"&mdash;lowering his voice&mdash;"pleasanter to be than
+ here, buried under an ould church." "You may as well say it
+ out, Larry," said St. Patrick; "and don't think I'm going to
+ be angry with you about it; for I was once flesh and blood
+ myself. But you remember, the other night, saying that you
+ would think nothing of pulling your master out of purgatory,
+ if you could get at him there, and appealing to me to stand
+ by your words.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Y-e-e-s," said Larry, most mournfully; for he recollected
+ the significant look he had received from the picture. "And,"
+ continued St. Patrick, "you remember also that I gave you a
+ wink, which you know is as good, any day, as a nod&mdash;at
+ least, to a blind horse." "I'm sure, your reverence," said
+ Larry, with a beating heart, "is too much of a gintleman to
+ hould a poor man hard to every word he may say of an evening,
+ and therefore"&mdash;"I was thinking so," said the saint, "I
+ guessed you'd prove a poltroon when put to the push. What do
+ you think, my brethren, I should do to this fellow?" A hollow
+ sound burst from the bosoms of the unanimous assembly.
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page350" name="page350"></a>[pg
+ 350]</span> The verdict was short and decisive:&mdash;"Knock
+ out his brains!" And in order to suit the action to the word,
+ the whole four-and-twenty arose at once, and with their
+ immovable eyes fixed firmly on the face of our hero&mdash;who
+ horror struck with the sight as he was, could not close
+ his&mdash;they began to glide slowly but regularly towards
+ him, bending their line into the form of a crescent, so as to
+ environ him on all sides. In vain he fled to the door; its
+ massive folds resisted mortal might. In vain he cast his eyes
+ around in quest of a loophole of retreat&mdash;there was
+ none. Closer and closer pressed on the slowly-moving phalanx,
+ and the uplifted croziers threatened soon to put their
+ sentence into execution. Supplication was all that
+ remained&mdash;and Larry sunk upon his knees. "Ah! then,"
+ said he, "gintlemin and ancient ould saints as you are, don't
+ kill the father of a large small family, who never did hurt
+ to you or yours. Sure, if 'tis your will that I should go
+ to&mdash;no matter who, for there's no use in naming his
+ name&mdash;might I not as well make up my mind to go there,
+ alive and well, stout and hearty, and able to face
+ him,&mdash;as with my head knocked into bits, as if I had
+ been after a fair or a patthern?" "You say right," said St.
+ Patrick, checking with a motion of his crozier the advancing
+ assailants, who returned to their seats. "I am glad to see
+ you coming to reason. Prepare for your journey." "And how,
+ plase your Saintship, am I to go?" asked Larry. "Why," said
+ St. Patrick, "as Colman here has guided you so far, he may
+ guide you further. But as the journey is into foreign parts,
+ where you arn't likely to be known, you had better take this
+ letter of introduction, which may be of use to you." "And
+ here, also, Lawrence," said a Dublin Saint&mdash;perhaps
+ Michan&mdash;"take you this box also, and make use of it as
+ he to whom you speak shall suggest." "Take a hold, and a firm
+ one," said St. Colman, "Lawrence, of my cassock, and we' ll
+ start." "All right behind?" cried St. Patrick. "All right!"
+ was the reply. In an
+ instant!&mdash;vault&mdash;table&mdash;saints&mdash;bell&mdash;church,
+ faded into air; a rustling hiss of wings was all that was
+ heard; and Larry felt his cheek swept by a current, as if a
+ covey of birds of enormous size were passing him. (It was, in
+ all probability, the flight of the saints returning to
+ heaven, but on that point nothing certain has reached us up
+ to the present time of writing.) He had not a long time to
+ wonder at the phenomenon, for he himself soon began to soar,
+ dangling in mid sky at the skirt of the cassock of his
+ sainted guide. Earth, and all that appertains thereto,
+ speedily passed from his eyes, and they were alone in the
+ midst of circumfused ether, glowing with a sunless light.
+ Above, in immense distance, was fixed the firmament, fastened
+ up with bright stars, fencing around the world with its azure
+ wall. They fled far, before any distinguishable object met
+ their eyes. At length a long, white streak, shining like
+ silver in the moonbeam, was visible to their sight. "That,"
+ said St. Colman, "is the Limbo which adjoins the earth, and
+ is the highway for ghosts departing the world. It is called
+ in Milton, a book which I suppose, Larry, you never have
+ read"&mdash;"And how could I, plase your worship," said
+ Larry, "seein' I don't know a B from a bull's foot!" "Well,
+ it is called in Milton the Paradise of Fools: and if it were
+ indeed peopled by all of that tribe who leave the world, it
+ would contain the best company that ever figured on the
+ earth. To the north, you see a bright speck?" "I do." "That
+ marks the upward path,&mdash;narrow and hard to find. To the
+ south you may see a darksome road&mdash;broad, smooth, and
+ easy of descent; that is the lower way. It is thronged with
+ the great ones of the world; you may see their figures in the
+ gloom. Those who are soaring upwards are wrapt in the flood
+ of light flowing perpetually from that single spot, and you
+ cannot see them. The silver path on which we enter is the
+ Limbo. Here I part with you. You are to give your letter to
+ the first person you meet. Do your best;&mdash;be courageous,
+ but observe particularly that you profane no holy name, or I
+ will not answer for the consequences."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ His guide had scarcely vanished, when Larry heard the
+ tinkling of a bell in the distance, and turning his eyes in
+ the quarter whence it proceeded, he saw a grave-looking man
+ in black, with eyes of fire, driving before him a flock of
+ ghosts with a switch, as you see turkeys driven on the
+ western road, at the approach of Christmas. They were on the
+ highway to Purgatory. The ghosts were shivering in the thin
+ air, which pinched them severely, now that they had lost the
+ covering of their bodies. Among the group, Larry recognised
+ his old master, by the same means that Ulysses, Aeneas, and
+ others, recognised the bodiless forms of their friends in the
+ regions of Acheron. "What brings a living person," said the
+ man in black, "on this pathway? I shall make legal capture of
+ you, Larry Sweeney, for trespassing. You have no business
+ here." "I have come," said Larry, plucking up courage, "to
+ bring <span class="pagenum"><a id="page351"
+ name="page351"></a>[pg 351]</span> your honour's glory a
+ letter from a company of gintlemin with whom I had the
+ pleasure of spending the evening, underneath the ould church
+ of Inistubber." "A letter," said the man in black, "where is
+ it?" "Here, my lord," said Larry. "Ho!" cried the black
+ gentleman, on opening it, "I know the handwriting. It won't
+ do, however, my lad,&mdash;I see they want to throw dust in
+ my eyes." "Whew," thought Larry, "that's the very thing. 'Tis
+ for that the ould Dublin boy gave me the box. I'd lay a
+ tinpenny to a brass farthing that it's filled with Lundy
+ Foot." Opening the box, therefore, he flung its contents
+ right into the fiery eyes of the man in black, while he was
+ still occupied with reading the letter,&mdash;and the
+ experiment was successful.
+ "Curses&mdash;tche-tche-tche,&mdash; Curses on it," exclaimed
+ he, clapping his hand before his eyes, and sneezing most
+ lustily.&mdash;"Run, you villians, run," cried Larry, to the
+ ghosts&mdash;"run, you villians, now that his eyes are off of
+ you&mdash;O master, master! Sir Theodore, jewel! run to the
+ right-hand side, make for the bright speck, and God give you
+ luck."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He had forgotten his injunction. The moment the word was
+ uttered he felt the silvery ground sliding from under him;
+ and with the swiftness of thought he found himself on the
+ flat of his back, under the very niche of the old church wall
+ whence he had started, dizzy and confused with a measureless
+ tumble. The emancipated ghosts floated in all directions,
+ emitting their shrill and stridulous cries in the gleaming
+ expanse. Some were again gathered by their old conductor;
+ some scudding about at random, took the right hand path,
+ others the left. Into which of them Sir Theodore struck, is
+ not recorded; but as he had heard the direction, let us hope
+ that he made the proper choice. Larry had not much time given
+ him to recover from his fall, for almost in an instant he
+ heard an angry snorting rapidly approaching, and looking up,
+ whom should he see but the gentleman in black, with eyes
+ gleaming more furiously than ever, and his horns (for, in his
+ haste, he had let his hat fall) relieved in strong shadow
+ against the moon. Up started Larry&mdash;away ran his pursuer
+ after him. The safest refuge was, of course, the
+ church,&mdash;thither ran our hero&mdash;and after
+ him&mdash;fiercer than the shark, swifter than the
+ hounds&mdash;fled the black gentleman. The church is cleared;
+ the chancel entered; and the hot breath of his pursuer glows
+ upon the outstretched neck of Larry. Escape is
+ impossible&mdash;the extended talons of the fiend have
+ clutched him by the hair. "You are mine," cried the
+ demon,&mdash;"if I have lost any of my flock, I have at last
+ got you." "Oh, St. Patrick!" exclaimed our hero, in horror,
+ &mdash;"Oh, St. Patrick have mercy upon me, and save me!" "I
+ tell you what, cousin Larry," said Kinaley, chucking him up
+ from behind a gravestone, where he had fallen&mdash;"all the
+ St. Patricks that ever were born would not have saved you
+ from ould Tom Picton, if he caught you sleeping on your post
+ as I've caught you now. By the word of an ould soldier, he'd
+ have had the provost-marshal upon you, and I'd not give
+ two-pence for the loan of your life. And then, too, I see you
+ have drunk every drop in the bottle. What can you say for
+ yourself?" "Nothing at all," said Larry, scratching his
+ head,&mdash;"but it was an unlucky dream, and I'm glad it's
+ over."&mdash;<i>Literary Souvenir.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ Ancient Roman Festivals.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ NOVEMBER.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The <i>Epulum Jovis</i> was a sumptuous feast offered to
+ Jupiter on the 13th of November. The gods were formally
+ invited, and attended; for the statues were brought in rich
+ beds, furnished with soft pillows, called <i>pulvinaria</i>.
+ Thus accommodated, their godships were placed on their
+ couches at the most honourable part of the table, and served
+ with the rich dainties, as if they were able to eat; but the
+ <i>epulones</i>, or ministers, who had the care and
+ management of the feast, performed that function for them,
+ and no doubt did the part of <i>gastronomic proxies</i> with
+ <i>eclat</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The <i>Brumalia</i> was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among
+ the Romans during the space of thirty days, commencing on the
+ 24th of November. It was instituted by Romulus, who used,
+ during this time, to entertain the senate. During this feast
+ indications were taken of the felicity of the remaining part
+ of the winter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ P.T.W.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <h2>
+ The Gatherer.
+ </h2>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SHAKSPEARE.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ INNOCENT CONFESSION.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused
+ herself of using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the
+ confessor. "I do it to make myself handsomer."&mdash;"And
+ does it produce that effect?" "At least I think so,
+ father."&mdash;The confessor on this took his
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page352" name="page352"></a>[pg
+ 352]</span> penitent out of the confessional, and having
+ looked at her attentively in the light, said, "Well, madam,
+ you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ MERCHANT TAILORS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the
+ Merchant Tailors' motto, "<i>Concordi&acirc; parvae res
+ crescunt</i>" replied, "Yes, that is to say, nine tailors
+ make a man."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ RABELAIS.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ A JEU D'ESPRIT.
+ </center>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ In France they say
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lived RABELAIS,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A witty wight, and a right merry fellow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Who in good company was sometimes mellow:
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ And,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Although he was a priest,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thought it no sacramental sin&mdash;to feast.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I can't say much for his morality:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But for his immortality,
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ Good luck!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And scarcely a good library's shelf
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But boasts acquaintance with the elf.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But now I'll tell you what I should have told before,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A grievous illness brought him nigh <i>Death's</i> door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Who, bony wight,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Enjoyed the sight&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the jester had joined his company.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Rab's friends, good folk!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thought it no joke
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To the poor joker; they therefore sent around
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For all the Esculapians to be found;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And in a trice
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ (For doctors always haste to give advice&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mind&mdash;don't mistake&mdash;I mean when there's a fee)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They mustered two&mdash;to which add three.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Now about the bed
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Is seen each learned head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The patient's pulse is felt&mdash;with graver air
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Each M.D. seats him in a chair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Crosses his legs&mdash;leans on his stick,
+ mums&mdash;hahs&mdash;and hums
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Pulls out his watch&mdash;takes snuff&mdash;and twirls
+ his thumbs.
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ At length,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The awful stillness broke&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ As if from silence gathering strength
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Most lustily they all did croak,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Their opinions mingling,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In discordant jingling&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A purge"&mdash;"a blister"&mdash;"shave his head"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Senna and salts"&mdash;"a clyster"&mdash;"have him
+ bled,"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A pill at noon"&mdash;"another pill at night,"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thus with purges and blisters,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Pills, bleeding, and clysters,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The poor patient they threatened
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Should be deluged and sweatened.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Unable to endure the riot,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And wishing for a little quiet,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The sickman raised his head,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And said&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Gentlemen, I do beseech ye, cease your pother,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nor any more with me your wise heads bother,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Scratching your wigs,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Like sapient pigs;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Whate'er you may decide is my disease,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I humbly do conceive a little ease
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From your infernal noise and chatter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With which I'm dunn'd
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And nearly stunn'd,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Would greatly tend to mend the matter;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And if, perforce, I must resign my breath,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For heav'n's sake let me <i>die</i> a NATURAL
+ <i>death</i>.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ P.M.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ AN AGITATOR.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ M. Monchenut, an old man of eighty, afflicted with the palsy,
+ was arrested during the reign of terror, under suspicion of
+ being an agitator. Being asked what he had to say to the
+ accusation, "Alas, gentlemen, it is very true, I am agitated
+ enough, God knows, for I have not been able to keep a limb
+ still for these fifteen years."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CHINESE POLITENESS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ There is one striking particular in which the Chinese
+ politeness is quite the reverse of ours. To take off their
+ caps when they salute one another, or even accidentally to
+ appear uncovered, is esteemed the height of ill breeding and
+ indecency.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HALBERT H.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets
+ are informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and
+ may be purchased separately. The whole of the numbers are now
+ in print, and can be procured by giving an order to any
+ Bookseller or Newsvender.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Complete sets Vol. I. to XI. in boards, price &pound;2.
+ l9<i>s</i>. 6<i>d</i>. half bound, &pound;3. l7<i>s</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ CHEAP and POPULAR WORKS published at the MIRROR OFFICE in the
+ Strand, near Somerset House.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS, Embellished with nearly
+ 150 Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. CANNING. &amp;c. Price
+ 2s.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price l3s.
+ boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD
+ DISPLAYED Price 5s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BEAUTIES of SCOTT, 2 vols. price 7s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BACON'S ESSAYS Price 8d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <blockquote class="footnote">
+ <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>:
+ <a href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a>
+ <p>
+ The portion of this temple which is still standing in the
+ Campo Vaccino, and which consists of three marble columns,
+ with a fragment of entablature, is universally acknowledged
+ to be the finest specimen, not only of the architecture of
+ the Augustan age, but of the Corinthian order, not merely
+ in Rome, but throughout the whole ancient world. Whether
+ contemplated in the original, or through the medium of
+ drawings, it inspires unequivocal admiration as a perfect
+ model of the florid style: and from the inferences
+ deducible from the dimensions and relative position of the
+ three columns and their entablature, it is clear that the
+ elegance and propriety of their arrangement, as members of
+ an entire edifice, were equal to the grace of the
+ proportions of the still existing parts, and to the beauty,
+ however exquisite, of their enrichments.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <blockquote class="footnote">
+ <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>:
+ <a href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a>
+ <p>
+ One of the most characteristic buildings recently erected
+ in the metropolis, was the ill-fated <i>Brunswick
+ Theatre</i>, the propriety of whose facade was universally
+ acknowledged.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <p>
+ <i>Printed and Published by J. LAMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near
+ Somerset House.) London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New
+ Market, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i>
+ </p>
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #11405 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/11405)
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828, by Various
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12,
+Issue 342, November 22, 1828
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: March 2, 2004 [eBook #11405]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: iso-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE,
+AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 342, NOVEMBER 22, 1828***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Allen Siddle, David Garcia, and the
+Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+ file which includes the original illustration.
+ See 11405-h.htm or 11405-h.zip:
+ (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h/11405-h.htm)
+ or
+ (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. 12, NO. 342.] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+[Illustration: COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL. ]
+
+
+COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL.
+
+
+From the Druids' Temple, at Abury, (our last engraving,) to the Council
+Office, at Whitehall, is a long stride in the march of time. From "grave
+to gay, and lively to severe," is nothing to it; but variety is the
+public dictum; and with more sincerity than the courtier in _Tom Thumb_,
+we say to the public,
+
+
+ "Whate'er your majesty shall please to name,
+ Long cut or short cut, to us' tis all the same."
+
+
+On the annexed page is represented the new splendid range of buildings,
+including the _Council Office_, _Board of Trade_, &c. at
+Whitehall. The architect, Mr. Soane, has adapted the façade from the
+Temple of Jupiter Stator, at Rome.[1]
+
+But Mr. Soane's adaptation has been only partial, and he has adhered
+merely to the details of the columns and entablature. "The façade," it is
+well observed in an early Number of the _Athenaeum_, "enjoys one of
+the most favourable sites for the display of a public building which the
+metropolis affords; no limit has been set to the expense; the finest
+materials the country yields have been used in its construction; the
+richest example of the richest order which antiquity has left us, has
+been lavishly employed in its decoration; and yet," continues the critic,
+"is not the whole a failure?" He then describes the effect of it as "poor,
+or at best but pretty," and attributes the absence of grandeur to the
+"want of sufficient elevation."--"To the general elevation it may be
+objected, that it has no prominent centre; that, composed of two wings
+and an intermediate space receding, it has more the character of a flank
+than a front building; and that the want of a central entrance derogates
+greatly from its dignity as a principal façade."
+
+But we are mere amateurs in these matters, and it will be as well to
+leave the remainder of this criticism to the more studious reader. We
+have, however, glanced at the principal defects which the writer in the
+_Athenaeum_ points out, and we are bound to admit the justice of his
+remarks. The details which produce this effect would not be so generally
+interesting. "The order itself," says he, "it must be admitted, is well
+copied, and excellently executed;" but Mr. Soane's application of it is
+loudly censured--a Roman temple being inappropriate for a British Council
+Office. Perhaps our critic would have preferred a façade like that of the
+Palais de Justice at Paris,--a platform, ascended by an immense flight of
+steps, which serves as a basement for a projecting body of four Doric
+columns; with four large pedestals in front, and statues of _Strength_,
+_Plenty_, _Justice_, and _Prudence_, as the cardinal virtues of English
+legislation and trade.
+
+Upon the whole, we cannot help thinking some of the details of this new
+range extremely rich and pleasing, although we assent to the above
+character of their general effect. The columns, of fluted Corinthian, and
+the cornice of the order, are to us very beautiful; but the upper windows
+are unsightly, or, as a wag would say, purely attic; and the entrances
+are too strictly _official_ for the architecture of the building.
+This brings us again to the inappropriateness of the adaptation, which
+made these introductions unavoidable.[2]
+
+The front of the building is not completed, the northern wing having yet
+to be erected. When this is finished, the effect may be materially
+assisted.
+
+While we are in this quarter, and lest "we may never come again," it may
+be as well to thank our correspondent, "An Architect," for his letter on
+"Whitehall," a very small portion of which has ever been completed. What
+has been finished--the Banqueting House--is one of the triumphs of Inigo
+Jones, but like all human works, is sadly dilapidated; although this is
+attributable to the bad material, rather than to the interval since its
+erection. The _whole_ was, indeed, a magnificent design.
+
+ [1] The portion of this temple which is still standing in the Campo
+ Vaccino, and which consists of three marble columns, with a
+ fragment of entablature, is universally acknowledged to be the
+ finest specimen, not only of the architecture of the Augustan
+ age, but of the Corinthian order, not merely in Rome, but
+ throughout the whole ancient world. Whether contemplated in the
+ original, or through the medium of drawings, it inspires
+ unequivocal admiration as a perfect model of the florid style:
+ and from the inferences deducible from the dimensions and
+ relative position of the three columns and their entablature,
+ it is clear that the elegance and propriety of their arrangement,
+ as members of an entire edifice, were equal to the grace of the
+ proportions of the still existing parts, and to the beauty,
+ however exquisite, of their enrichments.
+
+ [2] One of the most characteristic buildings recently erected in
+ the metropolis, was the ill-fated _Brunswick Theatre_, the
+ propriety of whose facade was universally acknowledged.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CROMLECH.
+
+(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.)
+
+
+In No. 328 of the MIRROR, you mistake in spelling _cromlech_; the
+last syllable is always written _lech_, not _leh_; neither is
+it derived from _crom_ and _leac_, the Irish, but from _crom_ and _llech_,
+the Celtic, of which the Irish is the most corrupted, and the present
+Welsh the most pure dialect. _Llech_ signifies a stone in Welsh, and is
+pronounced in a way peculiar to the Welsh; when simple it is _llech_,
+when compounded _lech_.
+
+RUPERT C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+GARDEN OF HYACINTHS
+
+IN THE SERAGLIO, CONSTANTINOPLE.
+
+(_For the Mirror._)
+
+
+In this garden the sultan passes most of his leisure hours, free from the
+outward parade attendant on his rank. It is small, but tastefully
+disposed in oblong beds, edged with fine porcelain; no plant is allowed
+to grow in it except the hyacinth; whence the name of the garden and the
+apartment it contains. Nothing can be more beautiful than the interior;
+three sides are formed by a divan, the cushions and pillows of which were
+of black satin, exquisitely embroidered. The floor was covered with
+Gobelin tapestry, and the ceiling magnificently gilded and burnished.
+Opposite the windows of the chamber was a fire-place, in the European
+manner; and on each side a door, covered with hangings of crimson cloth.
+Between each of these doors appeared a glass-case, containing the sultan's
+private library; every volume was in manuscript, with the name written
+on the edges of the leaves. Opposite the doors and fire-place hung three
+gold cages, containing artificial birds, which sang by mechanism. On one
+side was a raised bench, on which was placed an embroidered towel, a
+splendid vase, and basin for washing the hands and beard; upon the wall
+over it was suspended an embroidered portfolio, worked with silver on
+yellow leather, to contain the petitions presented to the sultan when he
+goes in procession to the mosque. Close to the door was placed a pair of
+yellow boots and slippers, which are always at the entrance of every
+apartment frequented by the sultan. Groups of arms, such as pistols,
+sabres, and poniards, were displayed with great taste and effect on the
+compartments of the walls; the handles were covered with diamonds and
+jewels of large size, which, as they glittered around, gave an almost
+dazzling brilliancy to this sumptuous chamber, thus characterizing the
+amusements of the man when divested of the ceremony and formality of the
+sultan.
+
+INA.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+NEEDLE-WORK ALTAR-PIECE.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+The town of Welwyn, Hertfordshire, was the last place of residence of Dr.
+Young, author of "Night Thoughts," where he was rector. His pious lady
+employed her leisure hours with her needle, in the completion of a most
+elegant altar-piece, which now embellishes the sacramental table in the
+church; and, through the care of the parish clerk, this specimen of the
+indefatigable mind of Mrs. Young has been surprisingly preserved. The
+words down the centre,
+
+
+ I AM
+ THE BREAD
+ OF
+ LIFE,
+
+
+have the appearance of being the production of a most masterly pencil;
+and the word "life" is in as fine a state of preservation as on the day
+when it was first presented by the benevolent artist; every tint,
+including the light and shade which surround the word, having withstood
+the ravages of time, and been ingeniously preserved by a kind of gauze
+covering.
+
+W.G.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LOCUSTS AND WILD HONEY.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+It has not been till lately that any of the travellers into Palestine
+have told what was meant by the locusts mentioned by St. Matthew as part
+of the food of John the Baptist. Dr. Clarke first related, that a tree
+grows in the Holy Land, which is called the locust tree, and produces an
+eatable fruit; but this fact was well known to many who had been in the
+Mediterranean. The tree grows in several of the countries which border
+that sea. It has been found in much greater abundance in some parts of
+the East Indies, whence it has now become an article of export. Many
+thousands of its pods are annually imported by the East India Company;
+and, either because the fruit is richer in more southern climates, or for
+some other reason, a great quantity of them are shipped for Venice and
+Trieste, where there is distilled from them a liquor, which is supposed
+to be an antidote to the plague, or at least useful in curing it. These
+pods are about twenty inches long, and from half to three-quarters of an
+inch in diameter. We call them pods for want of a term which would more
+accurately describe them; but they are not flat, neither have they that
+sort of hinge on one side, and slight fastening on the other, which
+plainly show how the shells of peas and beans are to be opened. On the
+contrary, these are round; but there are two opposite lines along them,
+where the colour alone would induce any one to suppose the skin to be, as
+it is, thinner than elsewhere. Having the fruit before us only in a dry
+state, we can describe it in no other; but at present a knife could
+scarcely be made to penetrate the thicker part, and does not very easily
+make its way into the thinner. The fruit, which lies in little cells
+within, is a pulp, or paste, somewhat like that of tamarinds, but
+smoother, and not so sweet. There are pips in it nearly as hard, and
+about half as large, as those of a tamarind, containing a kernel in each.
+It should be added, that in the stems of this locust tree wild bees still
+deposit their honey.
+
+W.G.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+FLOWERS.
+
+(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.)
+
+
+On reading the MIRROR, No. 337, my attention was attracted to one of your
+many pleasant and amusing extracts from the "Public Journals," bearing
+the title of "Flowers." Being myself a great admirer of that beautiful
+and delightful part of creation, I was led to peruse the article with
+somewhat increased attention. In all ages flowers have been regarded with
+peculiar sympathy; they have been associated with the calm serenity of
+virtue; they have been strewed around the altars of devotion; have been
+made to accompany the lonely, unobtrusive works of merit; and hung around
+the grave of faded and departed innocence, thus silently, but powerfully,
+depicting virtue, the essence of felicity. Although I do not consider you
+to be accountable for statements contained in the articles extracted from
+other journals, still I presume you would not knowingly make your work
+the vehicle of any matter which would lead your readers astray. I have,
+therefore, ventured to call your attention to a particular part of the
+above article, and to correct what I presume to be a misstatement.
+
+In the article alluded to, the writer states, "It has been said that
+flowers placed in bed-rooms are not wholesome; that cannot," he remarks,
+"be meant of such as are in a state of vegetation," &c.
+
+Now plants, it is well known, respire similarly to animals, through the
+pores of their leaves. By the agency of the sun, during the day, a
+quantity of pure gas, called oxygen, is given out; but on the contrary,
+during the night, or absence of the sun, gas of a most noxious and
+pernicious nature is emitted, and at the same time a portion of the pure
+air (oxygen gas) is absorbed. The greater part of the atmosphere must
+therefore be impregnated with this deleterious gas. Taking into
+consideration the confined state of a bed-chamber, the great increase of
+perspiration of the body, with the continual increase of carbonic gas
+from respiration, and this in an apartment where every thing _ought_
+most sedulously to be avoided which in the least tends to deteriorate the
+atmosphere, it must be evident the practice ought to be avoided, if we
+are desirous of preserving health.
+
+Flowers in a state of vegetation are, I consider, more pernicious _at
+night_, or during the absence of the sun, than those plucked and put
+into water, provided they be not immersed too long a time; for
+immediately the stem is severed from the plant, the vital action, if it
+may be so termed, ceases, and decomposition commences; but till the
+decomposition has been going on some time, nothing of a pernicious nature
+need be apprehended. In like manner, directly the vital principle becomes
+extinct in animals, decomposition ensues. For the space of five or six
+days, however, no perceptible alteration of the fibres is visible; but
+after that time a compound of gases begins to exhale from the body,
+accompanied with a fetid odour, till the parts are entirely decomposed.
+
+The effluvium arising from the _farina_ and _petals_ is
+considered unwholesome, however agreeable it may be to the senses,
+whether the plant be in a state of vegetation or not, it being too
+powerful for the olfactory nerve.
+
+S.S.T.
+
+Our pages are always open to the correction of our readers, and in
+this instance we thank _S.S.T._ for the above, although we think he
+has misconceived some portion of the article on "Flowers," the writer
+adding to that passage quoted by our correspondent, "_provided fresh
+air is frequently introduced_"; of course, he does not refer to the
+_night-time_, although it would have been clearer, had he suggested the
+removal of flowers from bed-rooms during the night.--ED.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CIRCULAR TEMPLES.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+These structures are generally supposed to have been built with
+astronomical allusions, especially the noble temple at _Stonehenge_.
+Circular temples existed among the Israelites. In Exodus, c. xxiv. v. 4,
+it is written that "Moses rose up early in the morning, and builded an
+altar under the hill, and twelve pillars." Again in Joshua, iv. 9, Joshua
+set up twelve stones; and it is well worthy of remark, that the twelve
+pillars of Moses and Joshua correspond with the number of stones of the
+inner circles at Abury. It is possible that these stones were plastered
+over, and probably highly ornamented, as in Deuteronomy, xxvii. 2, we
+read, "Thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with
+plaster;" and there is a large, upright stone in Ireland, which,
+according to the legend of the country, was once covered over with gold.
+On some of these pillars it is likewise probable that certain characters
+were traced, as among the Israelites words of the law were written upon
+similar obelisks or columns.
+
+The earliest temples in Greece were formed of obeliscal columns; and in
+some parts of Africa the custom obtains to this day. Hence the pillars of
+our present temples are the most ancient; and subsequent builders of holy
+sanctuaries filled up the intercolumniations till the temples were
+constructed as we now see their ruins in Athens and elsewhere. But many
+of the early temples were round; and it is a curious fact, hitherto
+unnoticed, I believe, that the altar end, the sanctum of our earliest
+Saxon churches, is circular.
+
+JAMES SILVESTER.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ST. OLAVE.--A MANX LEGEND.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+[Magnus, King of Norway, having committed sacrilege, by opening the grave
+of St. Olave, he was commanded by the spirit of the offended saint to
+perform the voluntary penance of quitting the kingdom in thirty days. He
+obeyed this intimation, and immediately left Norway. Having conquered
+many of the Western Isles, at length he established himself in the Isle
+of Man. Afterwards attempting the reduction of Ireland, he was surrounded
+by the natives and slain, with the whole of his followers.]
+
+
+ Olave, of rocky Norway's saints, the holiest and the best,
+ Entomb'd in tumulus, enjoys a calm and peerless rest;
+ By all of heav'ns votaries in saintly rank renown'd,
+ As high in blessedness, and chief in holy missal crown'd.
+
+ The dead--in holy, stilly peace, the sacred dead repose,
+ Afar from earth's turmoil and grief, and all of sick'ning woes;
+ From racking pain, and withering pride, and avarice's care,
+ Secure they rest in solitude, unaw'd by sin or snare.
+
+ To sack the gloomy sepulchre of lately living clay,
+ From cheerful day and life remov'd, by dreaded death away,
+ Is crime indeed of blackest hue, deserving exile's fate,
+ From native climes ordain'd to feel an outlaw's dreary state.
+
+ Could Norway's priest-despising chief, deem sacrilege a crime
+ Fitting for absolution,--or dark penance of set time
+ That daring such all dreaded sin, he gazes on the grave,
+ And tramples o'er the hallow'd dust of canoniz'd Olave.
+
+ Lone sepulchre in holy earth--sure wickedness so dire,
+ Of holy man, and sacred place, incenses heaven's ire;
+ Can less than ever banishment from Norway's ice bound land,
+ Stay sure revenge--pursuing fate--and justice' awful hand?
+
+ Away he sails--the foaming seas as Corsair now he laves,
+ Dauntless--heroic--daring winds, and man-entombing waves,
+ To visit other lands afar,--to combat chiefs of fame;
+ In battle-field to spread around the dread of Norway's name.
+
+ Lone Mona's sea-girt isle he dares with spear and flashing sword,
+ Usurping regal rule and right by power of pirate horde;
+ Yet vengeance drear, and dark desert of direst actions, crave
+ A bloody death, a justice clear, and dark usurper's grave.
+
+ On Erin's lovely land he falls--awarded darksome doom,
+ When, ruffian-like, he dared profane the saintly Olave's tomb:
+ He leaves his conquests, kingdoms, crowns, and all of earthly state,
+ To sleep in loneliness, and fill his dark predicted fate.
+
+
+_Kirk Michael, Isle of Man_. A B.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+THE ANECDOTE GALLERY.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A LIVING ALCHEMIST.
+
+(_From Sir R. Phillips's Tour_.)
+
+
+At Luton, Beds. Sir Richard hears of an ALCHEMIST, who lives at the
+village of Lilley, midway between Luton and Hitchen. The whole of his
+interview with this eccentric personage, will doubtless be interesting to
+our readers.
+
+It was four miles out of my road, but I thought a modern alchemist worthy
+of a visit, particularly as several inhabitants of Luton gravely assured
+me, that he had succeeded in discovering the Philosopher's Stone, and
+also the Universal Solvent. The reports about him would have rendered it
+culpable not to have hazarded anything for a personal interview. I learnt
+that he had been a man of fashion, and at one time largely concerned in
+adventures on the turf, but that for many years he had devoted himself to
+his present pursuits; while for some time past, he had been inaccessible
+and invisible to the world, the house being shut and barricadoed, and the
+walls of his grounds protected by hurdles, with spring-guns so planted as
+to resist intrusion in every direction. Under these circumstances, I had
+no encouragement to go to Lilley, but I thought that even the external
+inspection of such premises would repay me for the trouble. At Lilley,
+I inquired for his house of various people, and they looked ominous; some
+smiled, others shook their heads, and all appeared surprised at the
+approach of an apparent visiter to Mr. Kellerman.
+
+The appearance of the premises did not belie vulgar report. I could not
+help shuddering at seeing the high walls of respectable premises, lined
+at the top with double tiers of hurdles, and on driving my chaise to the
+front of the house, I perceived the whole in a state of horrid
+dilapidation. Contrary, however, to my expectation, I found a young man
+who appeared to belong to the out-buildings, and he took charge of my
+card for his master, and went to the back part of the house to deliver it.
+The front windows on the ground-floor and upper stories were entirely
+closed by inside shutters, much of the glass was broken, and the premises
+appeared altogether as if deserted. I was pleased at the words, "My
+master will be happy to see you," and in a minute the front door was
+opened, and Mr. Kellerman presented himself.--I lament that I have not
+the pencil of Hogarth, for a more original figure never was seen. He was
+about six feet high, and of athletic make; on his head was a white
+night-cap, and his dress consisted of a long great-coat once green, and
+he had a sort of jockey waistcoat with three tiers of pockets. His manner
+was extremely polite and graceful, but my attention was chiefly absorbed
+by his singular physiognomy. His complexion was deeply sallow, and his
+eyes large, black, and rolling. He conducted me into a very large parlour,
+with a window looking backward, and having locked the door, and put the
+key in his pocket, he desired me to be seated in one of two large arm
+chairs covered with sheepskins. The room was a realization of the
+well-known picture of Teniers' Alchemist. The floor was covered with
+retorts, crucibles, alembics, jars, bottles in various shapes,
+intermingled with old books piled upon each other, with a sufficient
+quantity of dust and cobwebs. Different shelves were filled in the same
+manner, and on one side stood his bed. In a corner somewhat shaded from
+the light, I beheld two heads, white, with dark wigs on them; I
+entertained no doubt therefore, that among other fancies he was engaged
+in re-making the brazen speaking head of Roger Bacon and Albertus. Many
+persons might have felt alarmed at the peculiarity of my situation, but
+being accustomed to mingle with eccentric characters, and having no fear
+from any pretensions of the black art, I was infinitely gratified by all
+I saw.
+
+Having stated the reports which I had heard, relative to his wonderful
+discoveries, I told him frankly that mine was a visit of curiosity, and
+stated that if what I had heard was matter of fact, the researches of the
+ancient chemists had been unjustly derided. He then gave me a history of
+his studies, mentioned some men whom I had happened to know in London,
+who he alleged had assured him that they had made gold. That having in
+consequence examined the works of the ancient alchemists, and discovered
+the key which they had studiously concealed from the multitude, he had
+pursued their system under the influence of new lights; and after
+suffering numerous disappointments, owing to the ambiguity with which
+they described their processes, he had, at length, happily succeeded; had
+made gold, and could make as much more as he pleased, even to the extent
+of paying off the national debt in the coin of the realm.
+
+I yielded to the declaration, expressed my satisfaction at so
+extraordinary a discovery, and asked him, to oblige me so far, as to show
+me some of the precious metal which he had made.
+
+"Not so," said he; "I will show it to no one. I made Lord Liverpool the
+offer, that if he would introduce me to the king, I would show it to his
+majesty; but Lord Liverpool insolently declined, on the ground that there
+was no precedent; and I am therefore determined, that the secret shall
+die with me. It is true that, in order to avenge myself of such contempt,
+I made a communication to the French ambassador, Prince Polignac, and
+offered to go to France, and transfer to the French government, the
+entire advantages of the discovery; but after deluding me, and shuffling
+for some time, I found it necessary to treat him with the same contempt
+as the others."
+
+I expressed my convictions in regard to the double dealing of men in
+office.
+
+"O," said he, "as to that, every court in Europe well knows that I have
+made the discovery, and they are all in confederacy against me; lest by
+giving it to any one, I should make that country master of all the
+rest--the world, Sir," he exclaimed with great emotion, "is in my hands
+and my power."
+
+Satisfied with this announcement of the discovery of the philosopher's
+stone, I now inquired about the sublime alkahest or universal solvent,
+and whether he had succeeded in deciphering the enigmatical descriptions
+of the ancient writers on that most curious topic.
+
+"Certainly," he replied, "I succeeded in that several years ago."
+
+"Then," I proceeded, "have you effected the other great desideratum, the
+fixing of mercury?"
+
+"Than that process," said he, "there is nothing more easy; at the same
+time it is proper I should inform you, that there are a class of
+impostors, who mistaking the ancient writers, pretend it can be done by
+heat; but I can assure you, it can only be effected by water."
+
+I then besought him to do me the favour, to show me some of his fixed
+mercury, having once seen some which had been fixed by cold.
+
+This proposition, however, he declined, because he said he had refused
+others. "That you may, however, be satisfied that I have made great
+discoveries, here is a bottle of oil, which I have purified, and rendered
+as transparent as spring water. I was offered £10,000. for this discovery;
+but I am so neglected, and so conspired against, that I am determined it
+and all my other discoveries shall die with me."
+
+I now inquired, whether he had been alarmed by the ignorance of the
+people in the country, so as to shut himself up in so unusual a manner.
+
+"No," he replied, "not on their account wholly. They are ignorant and
+insolent enough; but it was to protect myself against the governments of
+Europe, who are determined to get possession of my secret by force. I
+have been," he exclaimed, "twice fired at in one day through that window,
+and three times attempted to be poisoned. They believed I had written a
+book containing my secrets, and to get possession of this book has been
+their object. To baffle them, I burnt all that I had ever written, and I
+have so guarded the windows with spring-guns, and have such a collection
+of combustibles in the range of bottles which stand at your elbow, that I
+could destroy a whole regiment of soldiers if sent against me." He then
+related, that as a further protection he lived entirely in that room, and
+permitted no one to come into the house; while he had locked up every
+room except that with patent padlocks, and sealed the key-holes.
+
+It would be tedious and impossible to follow Mr. Kellerman through a
+conversation of two or three hours, in which he enlarged upon the merits
+of the ancient alchemists, and on the blunders and impertinent
+assumptions of the modern chemists, with whose writings and names it is
+fair to acknowledge he seemed well acquainted. He quoted the authorities
+of Roger and Lord Bacon, Paracelsus, Boyle, Boerhaave, Woolfe, and others,
+to justify his pursuits. As to the term philosopher's stone, he alleged
+that it was a mere figure, to deceive the vulgar. He appeared also to
+give full credit to the silly story about Dee's assistant, Kelly, finding
+some of the powder of projection in the tomb of Roger Bacon at
+Glastonbury, by means of which, as was said, Kelly for a length of time
+supported himself in princely splendour.
+
+I inquired whether he had discovered the blacker than black of Apollonius
+Tyaneus; and this, he assured me, he had effected; it was itself the
+powder of projection for producing gold.
+
+Amidst all this delusion and illusion on these subjects, Mr. Kellerman
+behaved in other respects with great propriety and politeness; and having
+unlocked the door, he took me to the doors of some of the other rooms, to
+show me how safely they were padlocked; and on taking leave, directed me
+in my course towards Bedford.
+
+In a few minutes, I overtook a man, and on inquiring what the people
+thought of Mr. Kellerman, he told me that he had lived with him for seven
+years; that he was one of eight assistants whom he kept for the purpose
+of superintending his crucibles, two at a time relieving each other every
+six hours; that he had exposed some preparations to intense heat for many
+months at a time, but that all except one crucible had burst, and that he
+called on him to observe, that it contained the true "blacker than black."
+The man protested, however, that no gold had ever been made, and that no
+mercury had ever been fixed; for he was quite sure, that if he had made
+any discovery, he could not have concealed it from the assistants; while,
+on the contrary, they witnessed his severe disappointments, at the
+termination of his most elaborate experiments.
+
+On my telling the man that I had been in his room, he seemed much
+astonished at my boldness; for he assured me, that he carried a loaded
+pistol in every one of his six waistcoat pockets. I learnt also from this
+man, that he has or had considerable property in Jamaica; that he has
+lived in the premises at Lilley about twenty-three years, and during
+fourteen of them pursued his alchemical researches with unremitting
+ardour; but for the last few years shut himself up as a close prisoner,
+and lived in the manner I have described.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ Here lyeth wrapt in clay,
+ The body of William Wray:
+ I have no more to say.
+
+
+_Weever's Epitaphs_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+Notes of a Reader.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+COURT OF CHARLES II.
+
+
+In the last No. of the _Edinburgh Review_, there is an admirably written
+article on Hallam's "Constitutional History," not a mere essay, but
+somewhat more like a review than usual. It contains an abundance of
+florid, bold, and vigorous writing, extending through upwards of 70
+pages. Among the most striking passages we notice a parallel between
+Cromwell and Napoleon, drawn with considerable force. But our extract is
+from the lighter portion, as the following ludicrous sketches of some of
+the enormities of Charles II. "Towards the close of the Protectorate,
+many signs indicated that a time of license was at hand. But the
+restoration of Charles II rendered the change wonderfully rapid and
+violent. A deep and general taint infected the morals of the most
+influential classes, and spread itself through every province of
+letters. Poetry inflamed the passions; philosophy undermined the
+principles; divinity itself, inculcating an abject reverence for the
+court, gave additional effect to its licentious example. ... The
+favourite duchess stamps about Whitehall, cursing and swearing. The
+ministers employ their time at the council board in making mouths at
+each other, and taking off each other's gestures for the amusement of
+the king. The peers at a conference begin to pommel each other, and to
+tear collars and periwigs. A speaker in the House of Commons gives
+offence to the court. He is way-laid by a gang of bullies, and his nose
+is cut to the bone. ... The second generation of the statesmen of this
+reign, were worthy of the schools in which they had been trained, of the
+gaming table of Grammont, and the tiring room of Nell ----." This is but
+a small portion of the good set terms in which the reviewer illustrates
+the licentiousness of the times. Speaking of Clarendon, he says, "Mr.
+Hallam scarcely makes sufficient allowance for the wear and tear which
+honesty almost necessarily sustains in the friction of political life,
+and which in times so rough as those through which Clarendon passed,
+must be very considerable. When these are fairly estimated, we think
+that his integrity may be allowed to pass muster." Perhaps political
+honesty is like Joseph Surface's French plate, or the tinsel spread over
+a pair of Birmingham saleshop candlesticks, whose tenderness will not
+withstand the wear and tear of conveyance in the purchaser's pocket. But
+the oddity of the reviewer's comparisons even puts one in good humour
+with their virulence.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+STREET SYMPATHIES.
+
+
+During "the season" the veriest stranger who has an eye and ear, and
+thoughts, must find in London sufficient to occupy his attention; true,
+he may start and sigh, to think that of the busy and enormous multitude
+around him, not one would care, if, treading on yonder bit of orange peel,
+he should slip off the flagway, and falling beneath the wheel of that
+immense coal-wagon, have his thigh crushed to atoms, while you'd be
+saying "Jack Robinson." But if he do sigh, the more fool he; first,
+because "grieving's a folly," as the old sea song hath it; next because
+he is mistaken in supposing that no one would feel interested in his
+misfortune. There are two upon the very flagway with him, who would
+evince the greatest sympathy in his fate; the one is a surgeon's
+apprentice, who, with anxious care, would bear him off to _his_
+hospital, that he might "try his 'prentice hand" to doctor him while
+living, and dissect him when dead; and the other is a running reporter to
+one of the morning papers, who would with gentle and soothing accents
+inquire his name, condition, and abode, to swell the paragraph, and
+increase his pay.--_Blackwood's Magazine._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LINES TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ON THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.
+
+
+ My heart is with you, Bulwer, and portrays
+ The blessings of your first paternal days;
+ To clasp the pledge of purest, holiest faith,
+ To taste one's own and love-born infant's breath,
+ I know, nor would for worlds forget the bliss.
+ I've felt that to a father's heart that kiss,
+ As o'er its little lips you smile and cling,
+ Has fragrance which Arabia could not bring.
+
+ Such are the joys, ill mock'd in ribald song,
+ In thought, ev'n fresh'ning life our life-time long,
+ That give our souls on earth a heaven-drawn bloom;
+ Without them we are weeds upon a tomb.
+
+ Joy be to thee, and her whose lot with thine,
+ Propitious stars saw Truth and Passion twine!
+ Joy be to her who in your rising name
+ Feels Love's bower brighten'd by the beams of Fame!
+ I lack'd a father's claim to her--but knew
+ Regard for her young years so pure and true,
+ That, when she at the altar stood your bride,
+ A sire could scarce have felt more sire-like pride.
+
+
+_T. Campbell_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+The Duc de Laval has the character of being a perfect fool. It is said
+that on one occasion he talked of having received an anonymous letter,
+signed by all the officers of his regiment; that on another, he ordered
+ottomans to be placed in the four corners of his octagon
+saloon!--_Josephine's Memoirs_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CAUSE AND EFFECT.
+
+
+Infinite are the consequences which follow from a single, and often
+apparently a very insignificant circumstance. Paley himself narrowly
+escaped being a baker; here was a decision upon which hung in one scale,
+perhaps, the immortal interests of thousands, and, in the other, the
+gratification of the taste of the good people of Giggleswick for hot
+rolls. Cromwell was near being strangled in his cradle by a monkey; here
+was this wretched ape wielding in his paws the destinies of nations.
+Then, again, how different in their kind, as well as in their magnitude,
+are these consequences from anything that might have been _à priori_
+expected. Henry VIII. is smitten with the beauty of a girl of eighteen;
+and ere long,
+
+
+ "The Reformation beams from Bullen's eyes."
+
+
+Charles Wesley refuses to go with his wealthy namesake to Ireland, and
+the inheritance, which would have been his, goes to build up the
+fortunes of a Wellesley instead of a Wesley; and to this decision of a
+schoolboy (as Mr. Southey observes) Methodism may owe its existence, and
+England its military--and, we trust we may now add, its civil and
+political--glory--_Quarterly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+SERVANTS.
+
+
+A fund has lately been established at Stockholm, from which it is
+intended to reward good and faithful servants. The king has contributed
+to it 1,000 crowns; the prince royal 500; and the princess royal 300.
+This has been suggested as an example worthy of our imitation; many
+legacies, &c. have from time to time been bequeathed for the
+encouragement of faithful servants in England; some are claimed, but the
+majority are shamefully misapplied by those to whom their distribution
+has been entrusted.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LONDON LUXURIES.
+
+
+A capital like London is a Maelstrom--an immense whirlpool--whose
+gyrations sweep in whatever is peculiarly desirable from the most
+distant regions of the empire--so active becomes the love of gain when
+set in motion by the love of luxury. We recollect once being on shipboard
+to the north of Duncan's Bay Head, and out of sight of land, the nearest
+being the Feroe Islands:--we were walking the deck, watching a whale
+which was gamboling at some distance, throwing up his huge side to the
+sun, and sending ever and anon a sheet of water and foam from his
+nostrils. Our thoughts were on Hecla and on the icebergs of the Pole, on
+the Scalds of Iceland and the sea-kings of Norway, when a sail hove in
+sight: we asked what craft it was--and were answered, "a Gravesend brig
+dredging for lobsters." Never was enchantment so effectually
+broken--never stage-trick in pantomime more successfully played off. Scene
+changes from Feroe and Iceland to the Albion in Aldersgate-street--Exeunt
+Scald, champion, and whale--Enter common councilman, turbot, and
+lobster-sauce.--_Quarterly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+THE BEAUTIFUL.
+
+
+To be convinced that, at some period or another of their history, the
+Egyptians had conceived a _beau-ideal_ superior to the beautiful
+which nature habitually produced in their country, we have only to
+examine the young Memnon, at the British Museum, and the heads of many of
+the sphinxes which remain.--_Weekly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ALGEBRA.
+
+
+Algebra I was charmed with, and found so much pleasure in resolving its
+questions, that I have often sat till morning at the engaging work,
+without a notion of its being day till I opened the shutters of my
+closet. I recommend this study in particular to young gentlemen, and am
+satisfied, if they would but take some pains at first to understand it,
+they would have so great a relish for its operations, as to prefer them
+many an evening to clamorous pleasures; or, at least, not be uneasy for
+being alone now and then, since their algebra was with them.--_Life of
+John Buncle._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A LUCKY MATCH.
+
+
+The late Mr. Locke, of Norbury Park, commissioned one Jenkins, a dealer
+in pictures, residing at Rome, to send him any piece of sculpture which
+might not exceed fifty guineas. Jenkins sent a head of Minerva, which Mr.
+Locke, not liking, returned, paying the carriage, and all other expenses.
+Nollekens, who was then also at Rome, having purchased a trunk of
+Minerva for fifty pounds, upon the return of this head, found that its
+proportion and character accorded with his torso. This discovery induced
+him to accept an offer made by Jenkins of the head itself; and 220
+guineas to share the profits. After Nollekens had joined the head and
+trunk, or, what is called "restored it," which he did at the expense of
+twenty guineas more for stone and labour, it proved a most fortunate hit,
+for they sold it for the enormous sum of 1,000 guineas! and it is now at
+Newby, in Yorkshire.--_Nollekens and his Times._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+NELSON.
+
+
+We received the following little anecdote from a letter of a gentleman
+now at the head of the medical profession, with which he favoured us
+shortly after perusing Salmonia. "I was (says our friend) at the Naval
+Hospital, at Yarmouth, on the morning when Nelson, after the battle of
+Copenhagen (having sent the wounded before him,) arrived at the Roads,
+and landed on the jutty. The populace soon surrounded him, and the
+military were drawn up in the market-place ready to receive him; but
+making his way through the crowd, and the dust, and the clamour, he went
+straight to the hospital. I went round the wards with him, and was much
+interested in observing his demeanour to the sailors; he stopped at every
+bed, and to every man he had something kind and cheering to say. At
+length, he stopped opposite a bed on which a sailor was lying who had
+lost his right arm close to the shoulder-joint, and the following short
+dialogue passed between, them:"--_Nelson_. "Well, Jack, what's the
+matter with you?"--_Sailor_. "Lost my right arm, your honour."--Nelson
+paused, looked down at his own empty sleeve, then at the sailor,
+and said playfully, "Well, Jack, then you and I are spoiled for
+fishermen--cheer up, my brave fellow." And he passed briskly on to the
+next bed; but these few words had a magical effect upon the poor fellow,
+for I saw his eyes sparkle with delight as Nelson turned away and pursued
+his course through the wards. As this was the only occasion on which I
+saw Nelson, I may, possibly, overrate the value of the incident.--_Q.
+Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+THE BRITISH ALMANAC.
+
+
+This work, though only in its second year, is too well known to be
+benefited by our recommendation. As a compilation, with occasional
+originality, it is one of the best executed labours of the Society from
+whom it emanates, and who, from the multiplicity of facts here assembled,
+may be called "The Society for the" _Condensation_ "of Useful
+Knowledge."
+
+In the Almanac for 1829 we notice several improvements upon that of last
+year. The "Remarks on Weather" are valuable; and the "Garden Plants in
+Flower" in each month, in themselves extremely interesting, contrast the
+unchanging course of nature with the grand revolutions and events of the
+column of "Anniversaries." Thus, what different emotions are produced by
+reading April 6, "First Abdication of Bonaparte, 1814," and "Primrose
+Peerless (_Narcissus biflorus_) in flower." The "Useful Remarks,"
+though not a new feature in an almanac, are profitable helps to social
+duties, especially when drawn from such a source as Owen Feltham's
+Resolves--a golden treasury of world-knowledge, which may serve as a
+text-book for every family. Among the useful facts we notice the
+following:--"By a parliamentary return of the year 1828 we find that the
+stamp duty paid upon the almanacs of England amounts to 30,136_l_. 3_s_.
+9_d_.--which, the duty being _fifteen-pence_ upon each almanac, exhibits
+a circulation of 451,593 annually."
+
+_Remarks on Weather._
+
+"The mean temperature of London is about 2° higher than that of the
+surrounding country; the difference exists chiefly in the night, and is
+greatest in winter and least in summer."
+
+"Mr. Howard is of opinion, from a careful comparison of a long series of
+observations, that a wet spring is an indication of a dry time for the
+ensuing harvest."
+
+"The greatest depression of temperature in every month happens, all
+other circumstances being the same, a short time before sun-rise."
+
+"There are only two months, namely, July and August, in which, taking
+into consideration the power of radiation, vegetation, in certain
+situations, is not exposed to a temperature of 32°."
+
+"The temperature of August is but little reduced, owing to the prevalence
+of hot nights. The action of the sun's rays is considerably assisted by
+the warm earth which radiates heat into the air; while, in spring, it
+absorbs every day a proportion of the heat which the sun produces."
+
+"_October_--Now that the fruits of the earth are laid in store, the
+increase of wet is attended by no injurious effects, the remaining heat
+of the earth is preserved from needless expenditure, and guarded from
+dissipation, by an increasing canopy of clouds, by which the effect of
+radiation is greatly reduced."
+
+"The comparative warmth of November is owing to the heat given out by
+the condensation of the vapour in the atmosphere into rain."
+
+"The mean temperature of the whole year is not found to vary, in
+different years, more than four degrees and a half."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+Such as hold superstition sweet to the soul, and love to exercise their
+ingenuity in hieroglyphics, the baseless grounds of tea, and lucky dreams
+and omens, will find little amusement in the British Almanac; but their
+absence is more than supplied by information "which almost every man
+engaged in the world requires."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH BOOK.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A VISION OF PURGATORY.
+
+_By William Maginn, Esq._
+
+
+The churchyard of Inistubber is as lonely a one as you would wish to see
+on a summer's day, or avoid on a winter's night. Under the east window of
+the church is a mouldering vault of the De Lacys,--a branch of a family
+descended from one of the conquerors of Ireland; and there they are
+buried, when the allotted time calls them to the tomb. Sir Theodore De
+Lacy had lived a jolly, thoughtless life, rising early for the hunt, and
+retiring late from the bottle. A good-humoured bachelor who took no care
+about the management of his household, provided that the hounds were in
+order for his going out, and the table ready on his coming in. As for the
+rest,--an easy landlord, a quiet master, a lenient magistrate (except to
+poachers,) and a very excellent foreman of a grand jury. He died one
+evening while laughing at a story which he had heard regularly thrice a
+week for the last fifteen years of his life, and his spirit mingled with
+the claret. In former times when the De Lacys were buried, there was a
+grand breakfast, and all the party rode over to the church to see the
+last rites paid. The keeners lamented; the country people had a wake
+before the funeral, and a dinner after it--and there was an end. But
+with the march of mind comes trouble and vexation. A man has now-a-days
+no certainty of quietness in his coffin--unless it be a patent one. He is
+laid down in the grave, and the next morning finds himself called upon to
+demonstrate an interesting fact! No one, I believe, admires this ceremony,
+and it is not to be wondered at that Sir Theodore De Lacy held it in
+especial horror. "I'd like," said he one evening, "to catch one of the
+thieves coming after me when I'm dead--By the God of War, I'd break every
+bone in his body;--but," he added with a sigh, "as I suppose I'll not be
+able to take my own part then, upon you I leave it, Larry Sweeney, to
+watch me three days and three nights after they plant me under the sod.
+There's Doctor Dickenson there, I see the fellow looking at me--fill your
+glass, Doctor--here's your health! and shoot him, Larry, do you hear,
+shoot the Doctor like a cock, if he ever comes stirring up my poor old
+bones from their roost of Inistubber." "Why, then," Larry answered,
+accepting the glass which followed this command, "long life to both your
+honours; and it's I that would like to be putting a bullet into Doctor
+Dickenson--heaven between him and harm--for hauling your honour away,
+as if you was a horse's head, to a bonfire. There's nothing, I 'shure you,
+gintlemin, poor as I am, that would give me greater pleasure." "We feel
+obliged, Larry" said Sir Theodore, "for your good wishes." "Is it I pull
+you out of the grave, indeed!" continued the whipper-in, for such he was,
+--"I'd let nobody pull your honour out of any place, saving 'twas
+purgatory; and out of that I'd pull you myself, if I saw you going
+_there_." "I am of opinion, Larry," said Doctor Dickenson, "you would
+turn tail if you saw Sir Theodore on that road. You might go further, and
+fare worse, you know." "Turn tail!" replied Larry, "it is I that
+wouldn't--I appale to St. Patrick himself over beyond"--pointing to a
+picture of the Prime Saint of Ireland, which hung in gilt daubery behind
+his master's chair, right opposite to him. To Larry's horror and
+astonishment, the picture fixing its eyes upon him, winked with the most
+knowing air, as if acknowledging the appeal. "What makes you turn so
+white then at the very thought," said the doctor, interpreting the
+visible consternation of our hero in his own way. "Nothing particular,"
+answered Larry; "but a wakeness has come strong over me, gintlemin, and
+if you'd have no objection, I'd like to go into the air for a bit." Leave
+was of course granted, and Larry retired amid the laughter of the
+guests--but as he retreated, he could not avoid casting a glance on the
+awful picture--and again the Saint winked, with a most malicious smile.
+It was impossible to endure the repeated infliction, and Larry rushed
+down the stairs in an agony of fright and amazement. "May be," thought
+he, "it might be my own eyes that wasn't quite steady--or the flame of
+the candle. But no--he winked at me as plain as ever I winked at Judy
+Donaghue of a May morning. What he manes by it I can't say--but there's
+no use of thinking about it--no, nor of talking neither, for who' d
+believe me if I tould them of it?"
+
+The next evening Sir Theodore died, as has been mentioned; and in due
+time thereafter was buried according to the custom of the family, by
+torch-light, in the churchyard of Inistubber. All was fitly performed;
+and although Dickenson had no design upon the jovial knight--and if he
+had not, there was nobody within fifteen miles that could be suspected
+of such an outrage,--yet Larry Sweeney was determined to make good his
+promise of watching his master. "I'd think little of telling a lie to him,
+by the way of no harm when he was alive," said he, wiping his eyes, as
+soon as the last of the train had departed, leaving him with a single
+companion in the lonely cemetery; "but now that he's dead--God rest his
+soul!--I'd scorn it. So Jack Kinaley, as behoves my first cousin's son,
+stay you with me here this blessed night, for betune (between) you and I,
+it an't lucky to stay by one's self in this ruinated old rookery, where
+ghosts, God help us, is as thick as bottles in Sir Theodore's cellar!"
+"Never you mind that, Larry," said Kinaley, a discharged soldier, who had
+been through all the campaigns of the Peninsula; "never mind, I say, such
+botherations. Han't I lain in bivouack on the field at Salamanca, and
+Tallawara, and the Pyrumnees, and many another place beside, where there
+was dead corpses lying about in piles, and there was no more ghosts than
+kneebuckles in a ridgemint of Highlanders. Here, let me prime them pieces,
+and hand us over the bottle; we'll stay snug under this east window, for
+the wind's coming down the hill, and I defy"--"None of that bould talk,
+Jack," said his cousin; "as for what ye saw in foreign parts, of dead men
+killed afighting, sure that's nothing to the dead--God rest 'em!--that's
+here. There you see, they had company one with the other, and being
+killed fresh-like that morning, had no heart to stir; but here, faith!
+'tis a horse of another colour." "May be it is," said Jack, "but the
+night's coming on; so I'll turn in. Wake me if you sees any thing; and
+after I've got my two hours' rest, I'll relieve you."
+
+With these words the soldier turned on his side, under shelter of a grave,
+and as his libations had been rather copious during the day, it was not
+long before he gave audible testimony that the dread of supernatural
+visitants had had no effect in disturbing the even current of his fancy.
+Although Larry had not opposed the proposition of his kinsman, yet he
+felt by no means at ease. He put in practice all the usually recommended
+nostrums for keeping away unpleasant thoughts:--all would not do. "If it
+was a common, dacent, quite (quiet,) well-behaved churchyard a'self,"
+thought Larry, half-aloud--"but when 'tis a place like this forsaken ould
+berrin'-ground, which is noted for villiany"--"For what, Larry?" said a
+gentleman, stepping out of a niche which contained the only statue time
+had spared. It was the figure of Saint Colman, to whom the church was
+dedicated. Larry had been looking at the figure, as it shone forth in
+ebon and ivory in the light and shadow of the now high-careering moon,
+"For what, Larry," said the gentleman,--"for what do you say the
+churchyard is noted?" "For nothing at all, plase your honour," replied
+Larry, "except the height of gentility." The stranger was about four feet
+high, dressed in what might be called flowing garments,--if, in spite of
+their form, their rigidity did not deprive them of all claim to such an
+appellation. He wore an antique mitre upon his head; his hands were
+folded upon his breast; and over his right shoulder rested a pastoral
+crook. There was a solemn expression in his countenance, and his eye
+might truly be called stony. His beard could not be well said to wave
+upon his bosom; but it lay upon it in ample profusion, stiffer than that
+of a Jew on a frosty morning after mist. In short, as Larry soon
+discovered to his horror, on looking up at the niche, it was no other
+than Saint Colman himself, who had stept forth, indignant (in all
+probability) at the stigma cast by the watcher of the dead on the
+churchyard of which his Saintship was patron. He smiled with a grisly
+solemnity--just such a smile as you might imagine would play round the
+lips of a milestone (if it had any,) at the recantation so quickly
+volunteered by Larry. "Well," said he, "Lawrence Sweeney"--"How well the
+old rogue," thought Larry, "knows my name!" "Since you profess yourself
+such an admirer of the merits of the churchyard of Inistubber, get up and
+follow me, till I show you the civilities of the place--for I am master
+here, and must do the honours." "Willingly would I go with your worship,"
+replied our friend; "but you see here I am engaged to Sir Theodore, who,
+though a good master, was a mighty passionate man when every thing was
+not done as he ordered it; and I am feared to stir." "Sir Theodore," said
+the Saint, "will not blame you for following me. I assure you he will
+not." "But then," said Larry--"Follow me!" cried the Saint, in a hollow
+voice, and casting upon him his stony eye, drew poor Larry after him, as
+the bridal guest was drawn by the lapidary glance of the Ancient Mariner;
+or, as Larry himself afterwards expressed it, "as a jaw tooth is wrinched
+out of an ould woman with a pair of pinchers." The Saint strode before
+him in silence, not in the least incommoded by the stones and rubbish,
+which at every step sadly contributed to the discomfiture of Larry's
+shins, who followed his marble conductor into a low vault, situated at
+the west end of the church. The path lay through coffins piled up on each
+side of the way in various degrees of decomposition; and, excepting that
+the solid footsteps of the saintly guide, as they smote heavily on the
+floor of stone, broke the deadly silence, all was still. Stumbling and
+staggering along, directed only by the casual glimpses of light afforded
+by the moon, where it broke through the dilapidated roof of the vault,
+and served to discover only sights of woe, Larry followed. He soon felt
+that he was descending, and could not help wondering at the length of the
+journey. He began to entertain the most unpleasant suspicions as to the
+character of his conductor;--but what could he do? Flight was out of the
+question, and to think of resistance was absurd. "Needs must, they say,"
+thought he to himself, "when the devil drives. I see it's much the same
+when a saint, leads."
+
+At last the dolorous march had an end; and not a little to Larry's
+amazement, he found that his guide had brought him to the gate of a lofty
+hall, before which a silver lamp, filled with naphtha, "yielded light as
+from a sky."--From within loud sounds of merriment were ringing; and it
+was evident, from the jocular harmony and the tinkling of glasses, that
+some subterraneous catch-club were not idly employed over the bottle.
+"Who's there?" said a porter, roughly responding to the knock of Saint
+Colman. "Be so good," said the Saint, mildly, "my very good fellow, as to
+open the door without further questions, or I'll break your head. I'm
+bringing a gentleman here on a visit, whose business is pressing." "May
+be so," thought Larry, "but what that business may be, is more than I can
+tell." The porter sulkily complied with the order, after having
+apparently communicated the intelligence that a stranger was at hand; for
+a deep silence immediately followed the tipsy clamour; and Larry,
+sticking close to his guide, whom he now looked upon almost as a friend,
+when compared with these underground revellers to whom he was about to
+be introduced, followed him through a spacious vestibule, which gradually
+sloped into a low-arched room, where the company was assembled. And a
+strange-looking company it was. Seated round a long table were
+three-and-twenty grave and venerable personages, bearded, mitred, stoled,
+and croziered,--all living statues of stone, like the Saint who had
+walked out of his niche. On the drapery before them were figured the
+images of the sun, moon, and stars--the inexplicable bear--the mystic
+temple, built by the hand of Hiram--and other symbols, of which the
+uninitiated knew nothing. The square, the line, the trowel, were not
+wanting, and the hammer was lying in front of the chair. Labour, however,
+was over, and the time for refreshment having arrived, each of the stony
+brotherhood had a flagon before him; and when we mention that the Saints
+were Irish, and that St. Patrick in person was in the chair, it is not to
+be wondered at that the mitres, in some instances, hung rather loosely on
+the side of the heads of some of the canonized compotators. Among the
+company were found St. Senanus of Limerick, St. Declan of Ardmore, St.
+Canice of Kilkenny, St. Finbar of Cork, St. Michan of Dublin, St. Brandon
+of Kerry, St. Fachnan of Ross, and others of that holy brotherhood; a
+vacant place, which completed the four-and-twentieth, was left for St.
+Colman, who, as every body knows, is of Cloyne; and he, having taken his
+seat, addressed the president, to inform him that he had brought the man.
+The man (viz. Larry himself) was awestruck with the company in which he
+so unexpectedly found himself; and trembled all over when, on the notice
+of his guide, the eight-and-forty eyes of stone were turned directly upon
+himself. "You have just nicked the night to a shaving, Larry," said St.
+Patrick: "this is our chapter-night, and myself and brethren are here
+'assembled on merry occasion.'--You know who I am?" "God bless your
+reverence," said Larry, "it's I that do well. Often did I see your
+picture hanging over the door of places where it is"--lowering his
+voice--"pleasanter to be than here, buried under an ould church." "You
+may as well say it out, Larry," said St. Patrick; "and don't think I'm
+going to be angry with you about it; for I was once flesh and blood
+myself. But you remember, the other night, saying that you would think
+nothing of pulling your master out of purgatory, if you could get at him
+there, and appealing to me to stand by your words.
+
+"Y-e-e-s," said Larry, most mournfully; for he recollected the
+significant look he had received from the picture. "And," continued St.
+Patrick, "you remember also that I gave you a wink, which you know is as
+good, any day, as a nod--at least, to a blind horse." "I'm sure, your
+reverence," said Larry, with a beating heart, "is too much of a gintleman
+to hould a poor man hard to every word he may say of an evening, and
+therefore"--"I was thinking so," said the saint, "I guessed you'd prove a
+poltroon when put to the push. What do you think, my brethren, I should
+do to this fellow?" A hollow sound burst from the bosoms of the unanimous
+assembly. The verdict was short and decisive:--"Knock out his brains!" And
+in order to suit the action to the word, the whole four-and-twenty arose
+at once, and with their immovable eyes fixed firmly on the face of our
+hero--who horror struck with the sight as he was, could not close
+his--they began to glide slowly but regularly towards him, bending their
+line into the form of a crescent, so as to environ him on all sides. In
+vain he fled to the door; its massive folds resisted mortal might. In
+vain he cast his eyes around in quest of a loophole of retreat--there was
+none. Closer and closer pressed on the slowly-moving phalanx, and the
+uplifted croziers threatened soon to put their sentence into execution.
+Supplication was all that remained--and Larry sunk upon his knees. "Ah!
+then," said he, "gintlemin and ancient ould saints as you are, don't kill
+the father of a large small family, who never did hurt to you or yours.
+Sure, if 'tis your will that I should go to--no matter who, for there's
+no use in naming his name--might I not as well make up my mind to go
+there, alive and well, stout and hearty, and able to face him,--as with
+my head knocked into bits, as if I had been after a fair or a patthern?"
+"You say right," said St. Patrick, checking with a motion of his crozier
+the advancing assailants, who returned to their seats. "I am glad to see
+you coming to reason. Prepare for your journey." "And how, plase your
+Saintship, am I to go?" asked Larry. "Why," said St. Patrick, "as Colman
+here has guided you so far, he may guide you further. But as the journey
+is into foreign parts, where you arn't likely to be known, you had better
+take this letter of introduction, which may be of use to you." "And here,
+also, Lawrence," said a Dublin Saint--perhaps Michan--"take you this box
+also, and make use of it as he to whom you speak shall suggest." "Take a
+hold, and a firm one," said St. Colman, "Lawrence, of my cassock, and we'
+ll start." "All right behind?" cried St. Patrick. "All right!" was the
+reply. In an instant!--vault--table--saints--bell--church, faded into air;
+a rustling hiss of wings was all that was heard; and Larry felt his cheek
+swept by a current, as if a covey of birds of enormous size were passing
+him. (It was, in all probability, the flight of the saints returning to
+heaven, but on that point nothing certain has reached us up to the
+present time of writing.) He had not a long time to wonder at the
+phenomenon, for he himself soon began to soar, dangling in mid sky at the
+skirt of the cassock of his sainted guide. Earth, and all that appertains
+thereto, speedily passed from his eyes, and they were alone in the midst
+of circumfused ether, glowing with a sunless light. Above, in immense
+distance, was fixed the firmament, fastened up with bright stars, fencing
+around the world with its azure wall. They fled far, before any
+distinguishable object met their eyes. At length a long, white streak,
+shining like silver in the moonbeam, was visible to their sight. "That,"
+said St. Colman, "is the Limbo which adjoins the earth, and is the
+highway for ghosts departing the world. It is called in Milton, a book
+which I suppose, Larry, you never have read"--"And how could I, plase
+your worship," said Larry, "seein' I don't know a B from a bull's foot!"
+"Well, it is called in Milton the Paradise of Fools: and if it were indeed
+peopled by all of that tribe who leave the world, it would contain the
+best company that ever figured on the earth. To the north, you see a
+bright speck?" "I do." "That marks the upward path,--narrow and hard to
+find. To the south you may see a darksome road--broad, smooth, and easy
+of descent; that is the lower way. It is thronged with the great ones of
+the world; you may see their figures in the gloom. Those who are soaring
+upwards are wrapt in the flood of light flowing perpetually from that
+single spot, and you cannot see them. The silver path on which we enter
+is the Limbo. Here I part with you. You are to give your letter to the
+first person you meet. Do your best;--be courageous, but observe
+particularly that you profane no holy name, or I will not answer for the
+consequences."
+
+His guide had scarcely vanished, when Larry heard the tinkling of a bell
+in the distance, and turning his eyes in the quarter whence it proceeded,
+he saw a grave-looking man in black, with eyes of fire, driving before
+him a flock of ghosts with a switch, as you see turkeys driven on the
+western road, at the approach of Christmas. They were on the highway to
+Purgatory. The ghosts were shivering in the thin air, which pinched them
+severely, now that they had lost the covering of their bodies. Among the
+group, Larry recognised his old master, by the same means that Ulysses,
+Aeneas, and others, recognised the bodiless forms of their friends in the
+regions of Acheron. "What brings a living person," said the man in black,
+"on this pathway? I shall make legal capture of you, Larry Sweeney, for
+trespassing. You have no business here." "I have come," said Larry,
+plucking up courage, "to bring your honour's glory a letter from a
+company of gintlemin with whom I had the pleasure of spending the evening,
+underneath the ould church of Inistubber." "A letter," said the man in
+black, "where is it?" "Here, my lord," said Larry. "Ho!" cried the black
+gentleman, on opening it, "I know the handwriting. It won't do, however,
+my lad,--I see they want to throw dust in my eyes." "Whew," thought Larry,
+"that's the very thing. 'Tis for that the ould Dublin boy gave me the box.
+I'd lay a tinpenny to a brass farthing that it's filled with Lundy Foot."
+Opening the box, therefore, he flung its contents right into the fiery
+eyes of the man in black, while he was still occupied with reading the
+letter,--and the experiment was successful. "Curses--tche-tche-tche,--
+Curses on it," exclaimed he, clapping his hand before his eyes, and
+sneezing most lustily.--"Run, you villians, run," cried Larry, to the
+ghosts--"run, you villians, now that his eyes are off of you--O master,
+master! Sir Theodore, jewel! run to the right-hand side, make for the
+bright speck, and God give you luck."
+
+He had forgotten his injunction. The moment the word was uttered he felt
+the silvery ground sliding from under him; and with the swiftness of
+thought he found himself on the flat of his back, under the very niche of
+the old church wall whence he had started, dizzy and confused with a
+measureless tumble. The emancipated ghosts floated in all directions,
+emitting their shrill and stridulous cries in the gleaming expanse. Some
+were again gathered by their old conductor; some scudding about at
+random, took the right hand path, others the left. Into which of them Sir
+Theodore struck, is not recorded; but as he had heard the direction, let
+us hope that he made the proper choice. Larry had not much time given him
+to recover from his fall, for almost in an instant he heard an angry
+snorting rapidly approaching, and looking up, whom should he see but the
+gentleman in black, with eyes gleaming more furiously than ever, and his
+horns (for, in his haste, he had let his hat fall) relieved in strong
+shadow against the moon. Up started Larry--away ran his pursuer after him.
+The safest refuge was, of course, the church,--thither ran our hero--and
+after him--fiercer than the shark, swifter than the hounds--fled the
+black gentleman. The church is cleared; the chancel entered; and the hot
+breath of his pursuer glows upon the outstretched neck of Larry. Escape
+is impossible--the extended talons of the fiend have clutched him by the
+hair. "You are mine," cried the demon,--"if I have lost any of my flock,
+I have at last got you." "Oh, St. Patrick!" exclaimed our hero, in horror,
+--"Oh, St. Patrick have mercy upon me, and save me!" "I tell you what,
+cousin Larry," said Kinaley, chucking him up from behind a gravestone,
+where he had fallen--"all the St. Patricks that ever were born would not
+have saved you from ould Tom Picton, if he caught you sleeping on your
+post as I've caught you now. By the word of an ould soldier, he'd have
+had the provost-marshal upon you, and I'd not give two-pence for the loan
+of your life. And then, too, I see you have drunk every drop in the
+bottle. What can you say for yourself?" "Nothing at all," said Larry,
+scratching his head,--"but it was an unlucky dream, and I'm glad it's
+over."--_Literary Souvenir._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+Ancient Roman Festivals.
+
+NOVEMBER.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The _Epulum Jovis_ was a sumptuous feast offered to Jupiter on the
+13th of November. The gods were formally invited, and attended; for the
+statues were brought in rich beds, furnished with soft pillows, called
+_pulvinaria_. Thus accommodated, their godships were placed on their
+couches at the most honourable part of the table, and served with the
+rich dainties, as if they were able to eat; but the _epulones_, or
+ministers, who had the care and management of the feast, performed that
+function for them, and no doubt did the part of _gastronomic proxies_
+with _eclat_.
+
+The _Brumalia_ was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among the Romans
+during the space of thirty days, commencing on the 24th of November. It
+was instituted by Romulus, who used, during this time, to entertain the
+senate. During this feast indications were taken of the felicity of the
+remaining part of the winter.
+
+P.T.W.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+The Gatherer.
+
+
+ "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+INNOCENT CONFESSION.
+
+
+A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused herself of
+using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the confessor. "I do it to
+make myself handsomer."--"And does it produce that effect?" "At least
+I think so, father."--The confessor on this took his penitent out of the
+confessional, and having looked at her attentively in the light, said,
+"Well, madam, you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+MERCHANT TAILORS.
+
+
+A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the Merchant Tailors'
+motto, "_Concordiâ parvae res crescunt_" replied, "Yes, that is to
+say, nine tailors make a man."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+RABELAIS.
+
+A JEU D'ESPRIT.
+
+
+ In France they say
+ Lived RABELAIS,
+ A witty wight, and a right merry fellow.
+ Who in good company was sometimes mellow:
+ And,
+ Although he was a priest,
+ Thought it no sacramental sin--to feast.
+ I can't say much for his morality:
+ But for his immortality,
+ Good luck!
+ Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards,
+ And scarcely a good library's shelf
+ But boasts acquaintance with the elf.
+ But now I'll tell you what I should have told before,
+ A grievous illness brought him nigh _Death's_ door.
+ Who, bony wight,
+ Enjoyed the sight--
+ And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be
+ When the jester had joined his company.
+
+ Rab's friends, good folk!
+ Thought it no joke
+ To the poor joker; they therefore sent around
+ For all the Esculapians to be found;
+ And in a trice
+ (For doctors always haste to give advice--
+ Mind--don't mistake--I mean when there's a fee)
+ They mustered two--to which add three.
+
+ Now about the bed
+ Is seen each learned head.
+ The patient's pulse is felt--with graver air
+ Each M.D. seats him in a chair.
+ Crosses his legs--leans on his stick, mums--hahs--and hums
+ Pulls out his watch--takes snuff--and twirls his thumbs.
+ At length,
+ The awful stillness broke--
+ As if from silence gathering strength
+ Most lustily they all did croak,
+ Their opinions mingling,
+ In discordant jingling--
+ "A purge"--"a blister"--"shave his head"
+ "Senna and salts"--"a clyster"--"have him bled,"
+ "A pill at noon"--"another pill at night,"
+ "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right."
+ Thus with purges and blisters,
+ Pills, bleeding, and clysters,
+ The poor patient they threatened
+ Should be deluged and sweatened.
+
+ Unable to endure the riot,
+ And wishing for a little quiet,
+ The sickman raised his head,
+ And said--
+ Gentlemen, I do beseech ye, cease your pother,
+ Nor any more with me your wise heads bother,
+ Scratching your wigs,
+ Like sapient pigs;
+ Whate'er you may decide is my disease,
+ I humbly do conceive a little ease
+ From your infernal noise and chatter.
+ With which I'm dunn'd
+ And nearly stunn'd,
+ Would greatly tend to mend the matter;
+ And if, perforce, I must resign my breath,
+ For heav'n's sake let me _die_ a NATURAL _death_.
+
+
+P.M.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+AN AGITATOR.
+
+
+M. Monchenut, an old man of eighty, afflicted with the palsy, was
+arrested during the reign of terror, under suspicion of being an agitator.
+Being asked what he had to say to the accusation, "Alas, gentlemen, it is
+very true, I am agitated enough, God knows, for I have not been able to
+keep a limb still for these fifteen years."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CHINESE POLITENESS.
+
+
+There is one striking particular in which the Chinese politeness is quite
+the reverse of ours. To take off their caps when they salute one another,
+or even accidentally to appear uncovered, is esteemed the height of ill
+breeding and indecency.
+
+HALBERT H.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets are
+informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and may be purchased
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+
+Complete sets Vol. I. to XI. in boards, price £2. l9_s_. 6_d_. half bound,
+£3. l7_s_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
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+COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.
+
+The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD DISPLAYED Price 5s.
+boards.
+
+BEAUTIES of SCOTT, 2 vols. price 7s. boards.
+
+The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+
+
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+
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+
+SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+_Printed and Published by J. LAMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset House.)
+London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all
+Newsmen and Booksellers._
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT,
+AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 342, NOVEMBER 22, 1828***
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+<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828, by Various</h1>
+<pre>
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre>
+<p>Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828</p>
+<p>Author: Various</p>
+<p>Release Date: March 2, 2004 [eBook #11405]</p>
+<p>Language: English</p>
+<p>Character set encoding: iso-8859-1</p>
+<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 342, NOVEMBER 22, 1828***</p>
+<br />
+<br />
+<center><b>E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Allen Siddle, David Garcia,<br />
+ and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team</b></center>
+<br />
+<br />
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page337" name="page337"></a>[pg
+ 337]</span>
+ <h1>
+ THE MIRROR<br />
+ OF<br />
+ LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+ </h1>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <table width="100%" summary="Banner">
+ <tr>
+ <td align="left">
+ <b>VOL. XII, NO. 342.]</b>
+ </td>
+ <td align="center">
+ <b>SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1828.</b>
+ </td>
+ <td align="right">
+ <b>[PRICE 2d.</b>
+ </td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
+ <a href="images/342-1.png"><img width="100%"
+ src="images/342-1.png"
+ alt="Council office, etc. Whitehall." /></a>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page338" name="page338"></a>[pg
+ 338]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ COUNCIL OFFICE, &amp;c. WHITEHALL.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ From the Druids' Temple, at Abury, (our last engraving,) to
+ the Council Office, at Whitehall, is a long stride in the
+ march of time. From "grave to gay, and lively to severe," is
+ nothing to it; but variety is the public dictum; and with
+ more sincerity than the courtier in <i>Tom Thumb</i>, we say
+ to the public,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "Whate'er your majesty shall please to name,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Long cut or short cut, to us' tis all the same."
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ On the annexed page is represented the new splendid range of
+ buildings, including the <i>Council Office</i>, <i>Board of
+ Trade</i>, &amp;c. at Whitehall. The architect, Mr. Soane,
+ has adapted the fa&ccedil;ade from the Temple of Jupiter
+ Stator, at Rome.<a id="footnotetag1"
+ name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But Mr. Soane's adaptation has been only partial, and he has
+ adhered merely to the details of the columns and entablature.
+ "The fa&ccedil;ade," it is well observed in an early Number
+ of the <i>Athenaeum</i>, "enjoys one of the most favourable
+ sites for the display of a public building which the
+ metropolis affords; no limit has been set to the expense; the
+ finest materials the country yields have been used in its
+ construction; the richest example of the richest order which
+ antiquity has left us, has been lavishly employed in its
+ decoration; and yet," continues the critic, "is not the whole
+ a failure?" He then describes the effect of it as "poor, or
+ at best but pretty," and attributes the absence of grandeur
+ to the "want of sufficient elevation."&mdash;"To the general
+ elevation it may be objected, that it has no prominent
+ centre; that, composed of two wings and an intermediate space
+ receding, it has more the character of a flank than a front
+ building; and that the want of a central entrance derogates
+ greatly from its dignity as a principal fa&ccedil;ade."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But we are mere amateurs in these matters, and it will be as
+ well to leave the remainder of this criticism to the more
+ studious reader. We have, however, glanced at the principal
+ defects which the writer in the <i>Athenaeum</i> points out,
+ and we are bound to admit the justice of his remarks. The
+ details which produce this effect would not be so generally
+ interesting. "The order itself," says he, "it must be
+ admitted, is well copied, and excellently executed;" but Mr.
+ Soane's application of it is loudly censured&mdash;a Roman
+ temple being inappropriate for a British Council Office.
+ Perhaps our critic would have preferred a fa&ccedil;ade like
+ that of the Palais de Justice at Paris,&mdash;a platform,
+ ascended by an immense flight of steps, which serves as a
+ basement for a projecting body of four Doric columns; with
+ four large pedestals in front, and statues of
+ <i>Strength</i>, <i>Plenty</i>, <i>Justice</i>, and
+ <i>Prudence</i>, as the cardinal virtues of English
+ legislation and trade.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Upon the whole, we cannot help thinking some of the details
+ of this new range extremely rich and pleasing, although we
+ assent to the above character of their general effect. The
+ columns, of fluted Corinthian, and the cornice of the order,
+ are to us very beautiful; but the upper windows are
+ unsightly, or, as a wag would say, purely attic; and the
+ entrances are too strictly <i>official</i> for the
+ architecture of the building. This brings us again to the
+ inappropriateness of the adaptation, which made these
+ introductions unavoidable.<a id="footnotetag2"
+ name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The front of the building is not completed, the northern wing
+ having yet to be erected. When this is finished, the effect
+ may be materially assisted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ While we are in this quarter, and lest "we may never come
+ again," it may be as well to thank our correspondent, "An
+ Architect," for his letter on "Whitehall," a very small
+ portion of which has ever been completed. What has been
+ finished&mdash;the Banqueting House&mdash;is one of the
+ triumphs of Inigo Jones, but like all human works, is sadly
+ dilapidated; although this is attributable to the bad
+ material, rather than to the interval since its erection. The
+ <i>whole</i> was, indeed, a magnificent design.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CROMLECH.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>To the Editor of the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In No. 328 of the MIRROR, you mistake in spelling
+ <i>cromlech</i>; the last syllable is always written
+ <i>lech</i>, not <i>leh</i>; neither is it derived from
+ <i>crom</i> and <i>leac</i>, the Irish, but from <i>crom</i>
+ and <i>llech</i>, the Celtic, of which the Irish is the most
+ corrupted, and the present Welsh the most pure dialect.
+ <i>Llech</i> signifies a stone in Welsh, and is pronounced in
+ a way peculiar to the Welsh; when simple it is <i>llech</i>,
+ when compounded <i>lech</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ RUPERT C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page339" name="page339"></a>[pg
+ 339]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ GARDEN OF HYACINTHS
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ IN THE SERAGLIO, CONSTANTINOPLE.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror.</i>)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In this garden the sultan passes most of his leisure hours,
+ free from the outward parade attendant on his rank. It is
+ small, but tastefully disposed in oblong beds, edged with
+ fine porcelain; no plant is allowed to grow in it except the
+ hyacinth; whence the name of the garden and the apartment it
+ contains. Nothing can be more beautiful than the interior;
+ three sides are formed by a divan, the cushions and pillows
+ of which were of black satin, exquisitely embroidered. The
+ floor was covered with Gobelin tapestry, and the ceiling
+ magnificently gilded and burnished. Opposite the windows of
+ the chamber was a fire-place, in the European manner; and on
+ each side a door, covered with hangings of crimson cloth.
+ Between each of these doors appeared a glass-case, containing
+ the sultan's private library; every volume was in manuscript,
+ with the name written on the edges of the leaves. Opposite
+ the doors and fire-place hung three gold cages, containing
+ artificial birds, which sang by mechanism. On one side was a
+ raised bench, on which was placed an embroidered towel, a
+ splendid vase, and basin for washing the hands and beard;
+ upon the wall over it was suspended an embroidered portfolio,
+ worked with silver on yellow leather, to contain the
+ petitions presented to the sultan when he goes in procession
+ to the mosque. Close to the door was placed a pair of yellow
+ boots and slippers, which are always at the entrance of every
+ apartment frequented by the sultan. Groups of arms, such as
+ pistols, sabres, and poniards, were displayed with great
+ taste and effect on the compartments of the walls; the
+ handles were covered with diamonds and jewels of large size,
+ which, as they glittered around, gave an almost dazzling
+ brilliancy to this sumptuous chamber, thus characterizing the
+ amusements of the man when divested of the ceremony and
+ formality of the sultan.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ INA.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ NEEDLE-WORK ALTAR-PIECE.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <i>(For the Mirror.)</i>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The town of Welwyn, Hertfordshire, was the last place of
+ residence of Dr. Young, author of "Night Thoughts," where he
+ was rector. His pious lady employed her leisure hours with
+ her needle, in the completion of a most elegant altar-piece,
+ which now embellishes the sacramental table in the church;
+ and, through the care of the parish clerk, this specimen of
+ the indefatigable mind of Mrs. Young has been surprisingly
+ preserved. The words down the centre,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ I AM
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THE BREAD
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ OF
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ LIFE,
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ have the appearance of being the production of a most
+ masterly pencil; and the word "life" is in as fine a state of
+ preservation as on the day when it was first presented by the
+ benevolent artist; every tint, including the light and shade
+ which surround the word, having withstood the ravages of
+ time, and been ingeniously preserved by a kind of gauze
+ covering.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ W.G.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LOCUSTS AND WILD HONEY.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It has not been till lately that any of the travellers into
+ Palestine have told what was meant by the locusts mentioned
+ by St. Matthew as part of the food of John the Baptist. Dr.
+ Clarke first related, that a tree grows in the Holy Land,
+ which is called the locust tree, and produces an eatable
+ fruit; but this fact was well known to many who had been in
+ the Mediterranean. The tree grows in several of the countries
+ which border that sea. It has been found in much greater
+ abundance in some parts of the East Indies, whence it has now
+ become an article of export. Many thousands of its pods are
+ annually imported by the East India Company; and, either
+ because the fruit is richer in more southern climates, or for
+ some other reason, a great quantity of them are shipped for
+ Venice and Trieste, where there is distilled from them a
+ liquor, which is supposed to be an antidote to the plague, or
+ at least useful in curing it. These pods are about twenty
+ inches long, and from half to three-quarters of an inch in
+ diameter. We call them pods for want of a term which would
+ more accurately describe them; but they are not flat, neither
+ have they that sort of hinge on one side, and slight
+ fastening on the other, which plainly show how the shells of
+ peas and beans are to be opened. On the contrary, these are
+ round; but there are two opposite lines along them, where the
+ colour alone would induce any one to suppose the skin to be,
+ as it is, thinner than elsewhere. Having the fruit before us
+ only in a dry state, we can describe it in no other; but at
+ present a knife could scarcely be made to penetrate the
+ thicker part, and does not very easily make its way into the
+ thinner. The fruit, which lies in little cells within, is a
+ pulp, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page340"
+ name="page340"></a>[pg 340]</span> or paste, somewhat like
+ that of tamarinds, but smoother, and not so sweet. There are
+ pips in it nearly as hard, and about half as large, as those
+ of a tamarind, containing a kernel in each. It should be
+ added, that in the stems of this locust tree wild bees still
+ deposit their honey.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ W.G.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ FLOWERS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>To the Editor of the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On reading the MIRROR, No. 337, my attention was attracted to
+ one of your many pleasant and amusing extracts from the
+ "Public Journals," bearing the title of "Flowers." Being
+ myself a great admirer of that beautiful and delightful part
+ of creation, I was led to peruse the article with somewhat
+ increased attention. In all ages flowers have been regarded
+ with peculiar sympathy; they have been associated with the
+ calm serenity of virtue; they have been strewed around the
+ altars of devotion; have been made to accompany the lonely,
+ unobtrusive works of merit; and hung around the grave of
+ faded and departed innocence, thus silently, but powerfully,
+ depicting virtue, the essence of felicity. Although I do not
+ consider you to be accountable for statements contained in
+ the articles extracted from other journals, still I presume
+ you would not knowingly make your work the vehicle of any
+ matter which would lead your readers astray. I have,
+ therefore, ventured to call your attention to a particular
+ part of the above article, and to correct what I presume to
+ be a misstatement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the article alluded to, the writer states, "It has been
+ said that flowers placed in bed-rooms are not wholesome; that
+ cannot," he remarks, "be meant of such as are in a state of
+ vegetation," &amp;c.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Now plants, it is well known, respire similarly to animals,
+ through the pores of their leaves. By the agency of the sun,
+ during the day, a quantity of pure gas, called oxygen, is
+ given out; but on the contrary, during the night, or absence
+ of the sun, gas of a most noxious and pernicious nature is
+ emitted, and at the same time a portion of the pure air
+ (oxygen gas) is absorbed. The greater part of the atmosphere
+ must therefore be impregnated with this deleterious gas.
+ Taking into consideration the confined state of a
+ bed-chamber, the great increase of perspiration of the body,
+ with the continual increase of carbonic gas from respiration,
+ and this in an apartment where every thing <i>ought</i> most
+ sedulously to be avoided which in the least tends to
+ deteriorate the atmosphere, it must be evident the practice
+ ought to be avoided, if we are desirous of preserving health.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Flowers in a state of vegetation are, I consider, more
+ pernicious <i>at night</i>, or during the absence of the sun,
+ than those plucked and put into water, provided they be not
+ immersed too long a time; for immediately the stem is severed
+ from the plant, the vital action, if it may be so termed,
+ ceases, and decomposition commences; but till the
+ decomposition has been going on some time, nothing of a
+ pernicious nature need be apprehended. In like manner,
+ directly the vital principle becomes extinct in animals,
+ decomposition ensues. For the space of five or six days,
+ however, no perceptible alteration of the fibres is visible;
+ but after that time a compound of gases begins to exhale from
+ the body, accompanied with a fetid odour, till the parts are
+ entirely decomposed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The effluvium arising from the <i>farina</i> and
+ <i>petals</i> is considered unwholesome, however agreeable it
+ may be to the senses, whether the plant be in a state of
+ vegetation or not, it being too powerful for the olfactory
+ nerve.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ S.S.T.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our pages are always open to the correction of our readers,
+ and in this instance we thank <i>S.S.T.</i> for the above,
+ although we think he has misconceived some portion of the
+ article on "Flowers," the writer adding to that passage
+ quoted by our correspondent, "<i>provided fresh air is
+ frequently introduced</i>"; of course, he does not refer to
+ the <i>night-time</i>, although it would have been clearer,
+ had he suggested the removal of flowers from bed-rooms during
+ the night.&mdash;ED.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CIRCULAR TEMPLES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These structures are generally supposed to have been built
+ with astronomical allusions, especially the noble temple at
+ <i>Stonehenge</i>. Circular temples existed among the
+ Israelites. In Exodus, c. xxiv. v. 4, it is written that
+ "Moses rose up early in the morning, and builded an altar
+ under the hill, and twelve pillars." Again in Joshua, iv. 9,
+ Joshua set up twelve stones; and it is well worthy of remark,
+ that the twelve pillars of Moses and Joshua correspond with
+ the number of stones of the inner circles at Abury. It is
+ possible that these stones were plastered over, and probably
+ highly ornamented, as in Deuteronomy, xxvii. 2, we read,
+ "Thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with
+ plaster;" and there is a large, upright stone in Ireland,
+ which, according to the legend of the country, was once
+ covered over with gold. On some of these
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page341" name="page341"></a>[pg
+ 341]</span> pillars it is likewise probable that certain
+ characters were traced, as among the Israelites words of the
+ law were written upon similar obelisks or columns.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The earliest temples in Greece were formed of obeliscal
+ columns; and in some parts of Africa the custom obtains to
+ this day. Hence the pillars of our present temples are the
+ most ancient; and subsequent builders of holy sanctuaries
+ filled up the intercolumniations till the temples were
+ constructed as we now see their ruins in Athens and
+ elsewhere. But many of the early temples were round; and it
+ is a curious fact, hitherto unnoticed, I believe, that the
+ altar end, the sanctum of our earliest Saxon churches, is
+ circular.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ JAMES SILVESTER.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ ST. OLAVE.&mdash;A MANX LEGEND.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Magnus, King of Norway, having committed sacrilege, by
+ opening the grave of St. Olave, he was commanded by the
+ spirit of the offended saint to perform the voluntary penance
+ of quitting the kingdom in thirty days. He obeyed this
+ intimation, and immediately left Norway. Having conquered
+ many of the Western Isles, at length he established himself
+ in the Isle of Man. Afterwards attempting the reduction of
+ Ireland, he was surrounded by the natives and slain, with the
+ whole of his followers.]
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Olave, of rocky Norway's saints, the holiest and the
+ best,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Entomb'd in tumulus, enjoys a calm and peerless rest;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By all of heav'ns votaries in saintly rank renown'd,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As high in blessedness, and chief in holy missal crown'd.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ The dead&mdash;in holy, stilly peace, the sacred dead
+ repose,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Afar from earth's turmoil and grief, and all of sick'ning
+ woes;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From racking pain, and withering pride, and avarice's
+ care,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Secure they rest in solitude, unaw'd by sin or snare.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ To sack the gloomy sepulchre of lately living clay,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From cheerful day and life remov'd, by dreaded death
+ away,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Is crime indeed of blackest hue, deserving exile's fate,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From native climes ordain'd to feel an outlaw's dreary
+ state.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Could Norway's priest-despising chief, deem sacrilege a
+ crime
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Fitting for absolution,&mdash;or dark penance of set time
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That daring such all dreaded sin, he gazes on the grave,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And tramples o'er the hallow'd dust of canoniz'd Olave.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Lone sepulchre in holy earth&mdash;sure wickedness so
+ dire,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of holy man, and sacred place, incenses heaven's ire;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Can less than ever banishment from Norway's ice bound
+ land,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Stay sure revenge&mdash;pursuing fate&mdash;and justice'
+ awful hand?
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Away he sails&mdash;the foaming seas as Corsair now he
+ laves,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Dauntless&mdash;heroic&mdash;daring winds, and
+ man-entombing waves,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To visit other lands afar,&mdash;to combat chiefs of
+ fame;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In battle-field to spread around the dread of Norway's
+ name.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Lone Mona's sea-girt isle he dares with spear and
+ flashing sword,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Usurping regal rule and right by power of pirate horde;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yet vengeance drear, and dark desert of direst actions,
+ crave
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A bloody death, a justice clear, and dark usurper's
+ grave.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ On Erin's lovely land he falls&mdash;awarded darksome
+ doom,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When, ruffian-like, he dared profane the saintly Olave's
+ tomb:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He leaves his conquests, kingdoms, crowns, and all of
+ earthly state,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To sleep in loneliness, and fill his dark predicted fate.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>Kirk Michael, Isle of Man</i>. A B.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <h2>
+ THE ANECDOTE GALLERY.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A LIVING ALCHEMIST.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ (<i>From Sir R. Phillips's Tour</i>.)
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ At Luton, Beds. Sir Richard hears of an ALCHEMIST, who lives
+ at the village of Lilley, midway between Luton and Hitchen.
+ The whole of his interview with this eccentric personage,
+ will doubtless be interesting to our readers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was four miles out of my road, but I thought a modern
+ alchemist worthy of a visit, particularly as several
+ inhabitants of Luton gravely assured me, that he had
+ succeeded in discovering the Philosopher's Stone, and also
+ the Universal Solvent. The reports about him would have
+ rendered it culpable not to have hazarded anything for a
+ personal interview. I learnt that he had been a man of
+ fashion, and at one time largely concerned in adventures on
+ the turf, but that for many years he had devoted himself to
+ his present pursuits; while for some time past, he had been
+ inaccessible and invisible to the world, the house being shut
+ and barricadoed, and the walls of his grounds protected by
+ hurdles, with spring-guns so planted as to resist intrusion
+ in every direction. Under these circumstances, I had no
+ encouragement to go to Lilley, but I thought that even the
+ external inspection of such premises would repay me for the
+ trouble. At Lilley, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page342"
+ name="page342"></a>[pg 342]</span> I inquired for his house
+ of various people, and they looked ominous; some smiled,
+ others shook their heads, and all appeared surprised at the
+ approach of an apparent visiter to Mr. Kellerman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The appearance of the premises did not belie vulgar report. I
+ could not help shuddering at seeing the high walls of
+ respectable premises, lined at the top with double tiers of
+ hurdles, and on driving my chaise to the front of the house,
+ I perceived the whole in a state of horrid dilapidation.
+ Contrary, however, to my expectation, I found a young man who
+ appeared to belong to the out-buildings, and he took charge
+ of my card for his master, and went to the back part of the
+ house to deliver it. The front windows on the ground-floor
+ and upper stories were entirely closed by inside shutters,
+ much of the glass was broken, and the premises appeared
+ altogether as if deserted. I was pleased at the words, "My
+ master will be happy to see you," and in a minute the front
+ door was opened, and Mr. Kellerman presented himself.&mdash;I
+ lament that I have not the pencil of Hogarth, for a more
+ original figure never was seen. He was about six feet high,
+ and of athletic make; on his head was a white night-cap, and
+ his dress consisted of a long great-coat once green, and he
+ had a sort of jockey waistcoat with three tiers of pockets.
+ His manner was extremely polite and graceful, but my
+ attention was chiefly absorbed by his singular physiognomy.
+ His complexion was deeply sallow, and his eyes large, black,
+ and rolling. He conducted me into a very large parlour, with
+ a window looking backward, and having locked the door, and
+ put the key in his pocket, he desired me to be seated in one
+ of two large arm chairs covered with sheepskins. The room was
+ a realization of the well-known picture of Teniers'
+ Alchemist. The floor was covered with retorts, crucibles,
+ alembics, jars, bottles in various shapes, intermingled with
+ old books piled upon each other, with a sufficient quantity
+ of dust and cobwebs. Different shelves were filled in the
+ same manner, and on one side stood his bed. In a corner
+ somewhat shaded from the light, I beheld two heads, white,
+ with dark wigs on them; I entertained no doubt therefore,
+ that among other fancies he was engaged in re-making the
+ brazen speaking head of Roger Bacon and Albertus. Many
+ persons might have felt alarmed at the peculiarity of my
+ situation, but being accustomed to mingle with eccentric
+ characters, and having no fear from any pretensions of the
+ black art, I was infinitely gratified by all I saw.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Having stated the reports which I had heard, relative to his
+ wonderful discoveries, I told him frankly that mine was a
+ visit of curiosity, and stated that if what I had heard was
+ matter of fact, the researches of the ancient chemists had
+ been unjustly derided. He then gave me a history of his
+ studies, mentioned some men whom I had happened to know in
+ London, who he alleged had assured him that they had made
+ gold. That having in consequence examined the works of the
+ ancient alchemists, and discovered the key which they had
+ studiously concealed from the multitude, he had pursued their
+ system under the influence of new lights; and after suffering
+ numerous disappointments, owing to the ambiguity with which
+ they described their processes, he had, at length, happily
+ succeeded; had made gold, and could make as much more as he
+ pleased, even to the extent of paying off the national debt
+ in the coin of the realm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I yielded to the declaration, expressed my satisfaction at so
+ extraordinary a discovery, and asked him, to oblige me so
+ far, as to show me some of the precious metal which he had
+ made.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Not so," said he; "I will show it to no one. I made Lord
+ Liverpool the offer, that if he would introduce me to the
+ king, I would show it to his majesty; but Lord Liverpool
+ insolently declined, on the ground that there was no
+ precedent; and I am therefore determined, that the secret
+ shall die with me. It is true that, in order to avenge myself
+ of such contempt, I made a communication to the French
+ ambassador, Prince Polignac, and offered to go to France, and
+ transfer to the French government, the entire advantages of
+ the discovery; but after deluding me, and shuffling for some
+ time, I found it necessary to treat him with the same
+ contempt as the others."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I expressed my convictions in regard to the double dealing of
+ men in office.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "O," said he, "as to that, every court in Europe well knows
+ that I have made the discovery, and they are all in
+ confederacy against me; lest by giving it to any one, I
+ should make that country master of all the rest&mdash;the
+ world, Sir," he exclaimed with great emotion, "is in my hands
+ and my power."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Satisfied with this announcement of the discovery of the
+ philosopher's stone, I now inquired about the sublime
+ alkahest or universal solvent, and whether he had succeeded
+ in deciphering the enigmatical descriptions of the ancient
+ writers on that most curious topic.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Certainly," he replied, "I succeeded in that several years
+ ago."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page343" name="page343"></a>[pg
+ 343]</span> "Then," I proceeded, "have you effected the other
+ great desideratum, the fixing of mercury?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Than that process," said he, "there is nothing more easy; at
+ the same time it is proper I should inform you, that there
+ are a class of impostors, who mistaking the ancient writers,
+ pretend it can be done by heat; but I can assure you, it can
+ only be effected by water."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I then besought him to do me the favour, to show me some of
+ his fixed mercury, having once seen some which had been fixed
+ by cold.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This proposition, however, he declined, because he said he
+ had refused others. "That you may, however, be satisfied that
+ I have made great discoveries, here is a bottle of oil, which
+ I have purified, and rendered as transparent as spring water.
+ I was offered &pound;10,000. for this discovery; but I am so
+ neglected, and so conspired against, that I am determined it
+ and all my other discoveries shall die with me."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I now inquired, whether he had been alarmed by the ignorance
+ of the people in the country, so as to shut himself up in so
+ unusual a manner.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," he replied, "not on their account wholly. They are
+ ignorant and insolent enough; but it was to protect myself
+ against the governments of Europe, who are determined to get
+ possession of my secret by force. I have been," he exclaimed,
+ "twice fired at in one day through that window, and three
+ times attempted to be poisoned. They believed I had written a
+ book containing my secrets, and to get possession of this
+ book has been their object. To baffle them, I burnt all that
+ I had ever written, and I have so guarded the windows with
+ spring-guns, and have such a collection of combustibles in
+ the range of bottles which stand at your elbow, that I could
+ destroy a whole regiment of soldiers if sent against me." He
+ then related, that as a further protection he lived entirely
+ in that room, and permitted no one to come into the house;
+ while he had locked up every room except that with patent
+ padlocks, and sealed the key-holes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It would be tedious and impossible to follow Mr. Kellerman
+ through a conversation of two or three hours, in which he
+ enlarged upon the merits of the ancient alchemists, and on
+ the blunders and impertinent assumptions of the modern
+ chemists, with whose writings and names it is fair to
+ acknowledge he seemed well acquainted. He quoted the
+ authorities of Roger and Lord Bacon, Paracelsus, Boyle,
+ Boerhaave, Woolfe, and others, to justify his pursuits. As to
+ the term philosopher's stone, he alleged that it was a mere
+ figure, to deceive the vulgar. He appeared also to give full
+ credit to the silly story about Dee's assistant, Kelly,
+ finding some of the powder of projection in the tomb of Roger
+ Bacon at Glastonbury, by means of which, as was said, Kelly
+ for a length of time supported himself in princely splendour.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I inquired whether he had discovered the blacker than black
+ of Apollonius Tyaneus; and this, he assured me, he had
+ effected; it was itself the powder of projection for
+ producing gold.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Amidst all this delusion and illusion on these subjects, Mr.
+ Kellerman behaved in other respects with great propriety and
+ politeness; and having unlocked the door, he took me to the
+ doors of some of the other rooms, to show me how safely they
+ were padlocked; and on taking leave, directed me in my course
+ towards Bedford.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a few minutes, I overtook a man, and on inquiring what the
+ people thought of Mr. Kellerman, he told me that he had lived
+ with him for seven years; that he was one of eight assistants
+ whom he kept for the purpose of superintending his crucibles,
+ two at a time relieving each other every six hours; that he
+ had exposed some preparations to intense heat for many months
+ at a time, but that all except one crucible had burst, and
+ that he called on him to observe, that it contained the true
+ "blacker than black." The man protested, however, that no
+ gold had ever been made, and that no mercury had ever been
+ fixed; for he was quite sure, that if he had made any
+ discovery, he could not have concealed it from the
+ assistants; while, on the contrary, they witnessed his severe
+ disappointments, at the termination of his most elaborate
+ experiments.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On my telling the man that I had been in his room, he seemed
+ much astonished at my boldness; for he assured me, that he
+ carried a loaded pistol in every one of his six waistcoat
+ pockets. I learnt also from this man, that he has or had
+ considerable property in Jamaica; that he has lived in the
+ premises at Lilley about twenty-three years, and during
+ fourteen of them pursued his alchemical researches with
+ unremitting ardour; but for the last few years shut himself
+ up as a close prisoner, and lived in the manner I have
+ described.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Here lyeth wrapt in clay,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The body of William Wray:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have no more to say.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>Weever's Epitaphs</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page344" name="page344"></a>[pg
+ 344]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Notes of a Reader.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ COURT OF CHARLES II.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ In the last No. of the <i>Edinburgh Review</i>, there is an
+ admirably written article on Hallam's "Constitutional
+ History," not a mere essay, but somewhat more like a review
+ than usual. It contains an abundance of florid, bold, and
+ vigorous writing, extending through upwards of 70 pages.
+ Among the most striking passages we notice a parallel between
+ Cromwell and Napoleon, drawn with considerable force. But our
+ extract is from the lighter portion, as the following
+ ludicrous sketches of some of the enormities of Charles II.
+ "Towards the close of the Protectorate, many signs indicated
+ that a time of license was at hand. But the restoration of
+ Charles II rendered the change wonderfully rapid and violent.
+ A deep and general taint infected the morals of the most
+ influential classes, and spread itself through every province
+ of letters. Poetry inflamed the passions; philosophy
+ undermined the principles; divinity itself, inculcating an
+ abject reverence for the court, gave additional effect to its
+ licentious example. ... The favourite duchess stamps about
+ Whitehall, cursing and swearing. The ministers employ their
+ time at the council board in making mouths at each other, and
+ taking off each other's gestures for the amusement of the
+ king. The peers at a conference begin to pommel each other,
+ and to tear collars and periwigs. A speaker in the House of
+ Commons gives offence to the court. He is way-laid by a gang
+ of bullies, and his nose is cut to the bone. ... The second
+ generation of the statesmen of this reign, were worthy of the
+ schools in which they had been trained, of the gaming table
+ of Grammont, and the tiring room of Nell &mdash;&mdash;."
+ This is but a small portion of the good set terms in which
+ the reviewer illustrates the licentiousness of the times.
+ Speaking of Clarendon, he says, "Mr. Hallam scarcely makes
+ sufficient allowance for the wear and tear which honesty
+ almost necessarily sustains in the friction of political
+ life, and which in times so rough as those through which
+ Clarendon passed, must be very considerable. When these are
+ fairly estimated, we think that his integrity may be allowed
+ to pass muster." Perhaps political honesty is like Joseph
+ Surface's French plate, or the tinsel spread over a pair of
+ Birmingham saleshop candlesticks, whose tenderness will not
+ withstand the wear and tear of conveyance in the purchaser's
+ pocket. But the oddity of the reviewer's comparisons even
+ puts one in good humour with their virulence.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ STREET SYMPATHIES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ During "the season" the veriest stranger who has an eye and
+ ear, and thoughts, must find in London sufficient to occupy
+ his attention; true, he may start and sigh, to think that of
+ the busy and enormous multitude around him, not one would
+ care, if, treading on yonder bit of orange peel, he should
+ slip off the flagway, and falling beneath the wheel of that
+ immense coal-wagon, have his thigh crushed to atoms, while
+ you'd be saying "Jack Robinson." But if he do sigh, the more
+ fool he; first, because "grieving's a folly," as the old sea
+ song hath it; next because he is mistaken in supposing that
+ no one would feel interested in his misfortune. There are two
+ upon the very flagway with him, who would evince the greatest
+ sympathy in his fate; the one is a surgeon's apprentice, who,
+ with anxious care, would bear him off to <i>his</i> hospital,
+ that he might "try his 'prentice hand" to doctor him while
+ living, and dissect him when dead; and the other is a running
+ reporter to one of the morning papers, who would with gentle
+ and soothing accents inquire his name, condition, and abode,
+ to swell the paragraph, and increase his
+ pay.&mdash;<i>Blackwood's Magazine.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LINES TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ON THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.
+ </h3>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ My heart is with you, Bulwer, and portrays
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The blessings of your first paternal days;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To clasp the pledge of purest, holiest faith,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To taste one's own and love-born infant's breath,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I know, nor would for worlds forget the bliss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I've felt that to a father's heart that kiss,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As o'er its little lips you smile and cling,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Has fragrance which Arabia could not bring.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Such are the joys, ill mock'd in ribald song,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In thought, ev'n fresh'ning life our life-time long,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That give our souls on earth a heaven-drawn bloom;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Without them we are weeds upon a tomb.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Joy be to thee, and her whose lot with thine,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Propitious stars saw Truth and Passion twine!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Joy be to her who in your rising name
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Feels Love's bower brighten'd by the beams of Fame!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I lack'd a father's claim to her&mdash;but knew
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Regard for her young years so pure and true,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That, when she at the altar stood your bride,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A sire could scarce have felt more sire-like pride.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>T. Campbell</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ The Duc de Laval has the character of being a perfect fool.
+ It is said that on one occasion he talked of having received
+ an anonymous letter, signed by all the officers of his
+ regiment; that on another, he ordered ottomans to be placed
+ in the four corners of his octagon
+ saloon!&mdash;<i>Josephine's Memoirs</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page345" name="page345"></a>[pg
+ 345]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ CAUSE AND EFFECT.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ Infinite are the consequences which follow from a single, and
+ often apparently a very insignificant circumstance. Paley
+ himself narrowly escaped being a baker; here was a decision
+ upon which hung in one scale, perhaps, the immortal interests
+ of thousands, and, in the other, the gratification of the
+ taste of the good people of Giggleswick for hot rolls.
+ Cromwell was near being strangled in his cradle by a monkey;
+ here was this wretched ape wielding in his paws the destinies
+ of nations. Then, again, how different in their kind, as well
+ as in their magnitude, are these consequences from anything
+ that might have been <i>&agrave; priori</i> expected. Henry
+ VIII. is smitten with the beauty of a girl of eighteen; and
+ ere long,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "The Reformation beams from Bullen's eyes."
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ Charles Wesley refuses to go with his wealthy namesake to
+ Ireland, and the inheritance, which would have been his, goes
+ to build up the fortunes of a Wellesley instead of a Wesley;
+ and to this decision of a schoolboy (as Mr. Southey observes)
+ Methodism may owe its existence, and England its
+ military&mdash;and, we trust we may now add, its civil and
+ political&mdash;glory&mdash;<i>Quarterly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ SERVANTS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A fund has lately been established at Stockholm, from which
+ it is intended to reward good and faithful servants. The king
+ has contributed to it 1,000 crowns; the prince royal 500; and
+ the princess royal 300. This has been suggested as an example
+ worthy of our imitation; many legacies, &amp;c. have from
+ time to time been bequeathed for the encouragement of
+ faithful servants in England; some are claimed, but the
+ majority are shamefully misapplied by those to whom their
+ distribution has been entrusted.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LONDON LUXURIES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A capital like London is a Maelstrom&mdash;an immense
+ whirlpool&mdash;whose gyrations sweep in whatever is
+ peculiarly desirable from the most distant regions of the
+ empire&mdash;so active becomes the love of gain when set in
+ motion by the love of luxury. We recollect once being on
+ shipboard to the north of Duncan's Bay Head, and out of sight
+ of land, the nearest being the Feroe Islands:&mdash;we were
+ walking the deck, watching a whale which was gamboling at
+ some distance, throwing up his huge side to the sun, and
+ sending ever and anon a sheet of water and foam from his
+ nostrils. Our thoughts were on Hecla and on the icebergs of
+ the Pole, on the Scalds of Iceland and the sea-kings of
+ Norway, when a sail hove in sight: we asked what craft it
+ was&mdash;and were answered, "a Gravesend brig dredging for
+ lobsters." Never was enchantment so effectually
+ broken&mdash;never stage-trick in pantomime more successfully
+ played off. Scene changes from Feroe and Iceland to the
+ Albion in Aldersgate-street&mdash;Exeunt Scald, champion, and
+ whale&mdash;Enter common councilman, turbot, and
+ lobster-sauce.&mdash;<i>Quarterly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ THE BEAUTIFUL.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ To be convinced that, at some period or another of their
+ history, the Egyptians had conceived a <i>beau-ideal</i>
+ superior to the beautiful which nature habitually produced in
+ their country, we have only to examine the young Memnon, at
+ the British Museum, and the heads of many of the sphinxes
+ which remain.&mdash;<i>Weekly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ ALGEBRA.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ Algebra I was charmed with, and found so much pleasure in
+ resolving its questions, that I have often sat till morning
+ at the engaging work, without a notion of its being day till
+ I opened the shutters of my closet. I recommend this study in
+ particular to young gentlemen, and am satisfied, if they
+ would but take some pains at first to understand it, they
+ would have so great a relish for its operations, as to prefer
+ them many an evening to clamorous pleasures; or, at least,
+ not be uneasy for being alone now and then, since their
+ algebra was with them.&mdash;<i>Life of John Buncle.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A LUCKY MATCH.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ The late Mr. Locke, of Norbury Park, commissioned one
+ Jenkins, a dealer in pictures, residing at Rome, to send him
+ any piece of sculpture which might not exceed fifty guineas.
+ Jenkins sent a head of Minerva, which Mr. Locke, not liking,
+ returned, paying the carriage, and all other expenses.
+ Nollekens, who was then also at Rome, having purchased a
+ trunk of Minerva for fifty pounds, upon the return of this
+ head, found that its proportion and character accorded with
+ his torso. This discovery induced him to accept an offer made
+ by Jenkins of the head itself; and 220 guineas to share the
+ profits. After Nollekens had joined the head and trunk, or,
+ what is called "restored it," which he did at the expense of
+ twenty guineas more for stone and labour, it proved a most
+ fortunate hit, for they sold it for the enormous sum of 1,000
+ guineas! and it is now at Newby, in
+ Yorkshire.&mdash;<i>Nollekens and his Times.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page346" name="page346"></a>[pg
+ 346]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ NELSON.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ We received the following little anecdote from a letter of a
+ gentleman now at the head of the medical profession, with
+ which he favoured us shortly after perusing Salmonia. "I was
+ (says our friend) at the Naval Hospital, at Yarmouth, on the
+ morning when Nelson, after the battle of Copenhagen (having
+ sent the wounded before him,) arrived at the Roads, and
+ landed on the jutty. The populace soon surrounded him, and
+ the military were drawn up in the market-place ready to
+ receive him; but making his way through the crowd, and the
+ dust, and the clamour, he went straight to the hospital. I
+ went round the wards with him, and was much interested in
+ observing his demeanour to the sailors; he stopped at every
+ bed, and to every man he had something kind and cheering to
+ say. At length, he stopped opposite a bed on which a sailor
+ was lying who had lost his right arm close to the
+ shoulder-joint, and the following short dialogue passed
+ between, them:"&mdash;<i>Nelson</i>. "Well, Jack, what's the
+ matter with you?"&mdash;<i>Sailor</i>. "Lost my right arm,
+ your honour."&mdash;Nelson paused, looked down at his own
+ empty sleeve, then at the sailor, and said playfully, "Well,
+ Jack, then you and I are spoiled for fishermen&mdash;cheer
+ up, my brave fellow." And he passed briskly on to the next
+ bed; but these few words had a magical effect upon the poor
+ fellow, for I saw his eyes sparkle with delight as Nelson
+ turned away and pursued his course through the wards. As this
+ was the only occasion on which I saw Nelson, I may, possibly,
+ overrate the value of the incident.&mdash;<i>Q. Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ THE BRITISH ALMANAC.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ This work, though only in its second year, is too well known
+ to be benefited by our recommendation. As a compilation, with
+ occasional originality, it is one of the best executed
+ labours of the Society from whom it emanates, and who, from
+ the multiplicity of facts here assembled, may be called "The
+ Society for the" <i>Condensation</i> "of Useful Knowledge."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the Almanac for 1829 we notice several improvements upon
+ that of last year. The "Remarks on Weather" are valuable; and
+ the "Garden Plants in Flower" in each month, in themselves
+ extremely interesting, contrast the unchanging course of
+ nature with the grand revolutions and events of the column of
+ "Anniversaries." Thus, what different emotions are produced
+ by reading April 6, "First Abdication of Bonaparte, 1814,"
+ and "Primrose Peerless (<i>Narcissus biflorus</i>) in
+ flower." The "Useful Remarks," though not a new feature in an
+ almanac, are profitable helps to social duties, especially
+ when drawn from such a source as Owen Feltham's
+ Resolves&mdash;a golden treasury of world-knowledge, which
+ may serve as a text-book for every family. Among the useful
+ facts we notice the following:&mdash;"By a parliamentary
+ return of the year 1828 we find that the stamp duty paid upon
+ the almanacs of England amounts to 30,136<i>l</i>. 3<i>s</i>.
+ 9<i>d</i>.&mdash;which, the duty being <i>fifteen-pence</i>
+ upon each almanac, exhibits a circulation of 451,593
+ annually."
+ </p>
+ <center>
+ <i>Remarks on Weather.</i>
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ "The mean temperature of London is about 2&deg; higher than
+ that of the surrounding country; the difference exists
+ chiefly in the night, and is greatest in winter and least in
+ summer."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Mr. Howard is of opinion, from a careful comparison of a
+ long series of observations, that a wet spring is an
+ indication of a dry time for the ensuing harvest."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The greatest depression of temperature in every month
+ happens, all other circumstances being the same, a short time
+ before sun-rise."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There are only two months, namely, July and August, in
+ which, taking into consideration the power of radiation,
+ vegetation, in certain situations, is not exposed to a
+ temperature of 32&deg;."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The temperature of August is but little reduced, owing to
+ the prevalence of hot nights. The action of the sun's rays is
+ considerably assisted by the warm earth which radiates heat
+ into the air; while, in spring, it absorbs every day a
+ proportion of the heat which the sun produces."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "<i>October</i>&mdash;Now that the fruits of the earth are
+ laid in store, the increase of wet is attended by no
+ injurious effects, the remaining heat of the earth is
+ preserved from needless expenditure, and guarded from
+ dissipation, by an increasing canopy of clouds, by which the
+ effect of radiation is greatly reduced."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The comparative warmth of November is owing to the heat
+ given out by the condensation of the vapour in the atmosphere
+ into rain."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The mean temperature of the whole year is not found to vary,
+ in different years, more than four degrees and a half."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ Such as hold superstition sweet to the soul, and love to
+ exercise their ingenuity in hieroglyphics, the baseless
+ grounds of tea, and lucky dreams and omens, will find little
+ amusement in the British Almanac; but their absence is more
+ than supplied by information "which almost every man engaged
+ in the world requires."
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page347" name="page347"></a>[pg
+ 347]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ THE SKETCH BOOK.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A VISION OF PURGATORY.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <i>By William Maginn, Esq.</i>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The churchyard of Inistubber is as lonely a one as you would
+ wish to see on a summer's day, or avoid on a winter's night.
+ Under the east window of the church is a mouldering vault of
+ the De Lacys,&mdash;a branch of a family descended from one
+ of the conquerors of Ireland; and there they are buried, when
+ the allotted time calls them to the tomb. Sir Theodore De
+ Lacy had lived a jolly, thoughtless life, rising early for
+ the hunt, and retiring late from the bottle. A good-humoured
+ bachelor who took no care about the management of his
+ household, provided that the hounds were in order for his
+ going out, and the table ready on his coming in. As for the
+ rest,&mdash;an easy landlord, a quiet master, a lenient
+ magistrate (except to poachers,) and a very excellent foreman
+ of a grand jury. He died one evening while laughing at a
+ story which he had heard regularly thrice a week for the last
+ fifteen years of his life, and his spirit mingled with the
+ claret. In former times when the De Lacys were buried, there
+ was a grand breakfast, and all the party rode over to the
+ church to see the last rites paid. The keeners lamented; the
+ country people had a wake before the funeral, and a dinner
+ after it&mdash;and there was an end. But with the march of
+ mind comes trouble and vexation. A man has now-a-days no
+ certainty of quietness in his coffin&mdash;unless it be a
+ patent one. He is laid down in the grave, and the next
+ morning finds himself called upon to demonstrate an
+ interesting fact! No one, I believe, admires this ceremony,
+ and it is not to be wondered at that Sir Theodore De Lacy
+ held it in especial horror. "I'd like," said he one evening,
+ "to catch one of the thieves coming after me when I'm
+ dead&mdash;By the God of War, I'd break every bone in his
+ body;&mdash;but," he added with a sigh, "as I suppose I'll
+ not be able to take my own part then, upon you I leave it,
+ Larry Sweeney, to watch me three days and three nights after
+ they plant me under the sod. There's Doctor Dickenson there,
+ I see the fellow looking at me&mdash;fill your glass,
+ Doctor&mdash;here's your health! and shoot him, Larry, do you
+ hear, shoot the Doctor like a cock, if he ever comes stirring
+ up my poor old bones from their roost of Inistubber." "Why,
+ then," Larry answered, accepting the glass which followed
+ this command, "long life to both your honours; and it's I
+ that would like to be putting a bullet into Doctor
+ Dickenson&mdash;heaven between him and harm&mdash;for hauling
+ your honour away, as if you was a horse's head, to a bonfire.
+ There's nothing, I 'shure you, gintlemin, poor as I am, that
+ would give me greater pleasure." "We feel obliged, Larry"
+ said Sir Theodore, "for your good wishes." "Is it I pull you
+ out of the grave, indeed!" continued the whipper-in, for such
+ he was, &mdash;"I'd let nobody pull your honour out of any
+ place, saving 'twas purgatory; and out of that I'd pull you
+ myself, if I saw you going <i>there</i>." "I am of opinion,
+ Larry," said Doctor Dickenson, "you would turn tail if you
+ saw Sir Theodore on that road. You might go further, and fare
+ worse, you know." "Turn tail!" replied Larry, "it is I that
+ wouldn't&mdash;I appale to St. Patrick himself over
+ beyond"&mdash;pointing to a picture of the Prime Saint of
+ Ireland, which hung in gilt daubery behind his master's
+ chair, right opposite to him. To Larry's horror and
+ astonishment, the picture fixing its eyes upon him, winked
+ with the most knowing air, as if acknowledging the appeal.
+ "What makes you turn so white then at the very thought," said
+ the doctor, interpreting the visible consternation of our
+ hero in his own way. "Nothing particular," answered Larry;
+ "but a wakeness has come strong over me, gintlemin, and if
+ you'd have no objection, I'd like to go into the air for a
+ bit." Leave was of course granted, and Larry retired amid the
+ laughter of the guests&mdash;but as he retreated, he could
+ not avoid casting a glance on the awful picture&mdash;and
+ again the Saint winked, with a most malicious smile. It was
+ impossible to endure the repeated infliction, and Larry
+ rushed down the stairs in an agony of fright and amazement.
+ "May be," thought he, "it might be my own eyes that wasn't
+ quite steady&mdash;or the flame of the candle. But
+ no&mdash;he winked at me as plain as ever I winked at Judy
+ Donaghue of a May morning. What he manes by it I can't
+ say&mdash;but there's no use of thinking about it&mdash;no,
+ nor of talking neither, for who' d believe me if I tould them
+ of it?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next evening Sir Theodore died, as has been mentioned;
+ and in due time thereafter was buried according to the custom
+ of the family, by torch-light, in the churchyard of
+ Inistubber. All was fitly performed; and although Dickenson
+ had no design upon the jovial knight&mdash;and if he had not,
+ there was nobody within fifteen miles that could be suspected
+ of such an outrage,&mdash;yet Larry Sweeney was determined to
+ make good his promise of watching his master. "I'd think
+ little of telling a lie to him, by the
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page348" name="page348"></a>[pg
+ 348]</span> way of no harm when he was alive," said he,
+ wiping his eyes, as soon as the last of the train had
+ departed, leaving him with a single companion in the lonely
+ cemetery; "but now that he's dead&mdash;God rest his
+ soul!&mdash;I'd scorn it. So Jack Kinaley, as behoves my
+ first cousin's son, stay you with me here this blessed night,
+ for betune (between) you and I, it an't lucky to stay by
+ one's self in this ruinated old rookery, where ghosts, God
+ help us, is as thick as bottles in Sir Theodore's cellar!"
+ "Never you mind that, Larry," said Kinaley, a discharged
+ soldier, who had been through all the campaigns of the
+ Peninsula; "never mind, I say, such botherations. Han't I
+ lain in bivouack on the field at Salamanca, and Tallawara,
+ and the Pyrumnees, and many another place beside, where there
+ was dead corpses lying about in piles, and there was no more
+ ghosts than kneebuckles in a ridgemint of Highlanders. Here,
+ let me prime them pieces, and hand us over the bottle; we'll
+ stay snug under this east window, for the wind's coming down
+ the hill, and I defy"&mdash;"None of that bould talk, Jack,"
+ said his cousin; "as for what ye saw in foreign parts, of
+ dead men killed afighting, sure that's nothing to the
+ dead&mdash;God rest 'em!&mdash;that's here. There you see,
+ they had company one with the other, and being killed
+ fresh-like that morning, had no heart to stir; but here,
+ faith! 'tis a horse of another colour." "May be it is," said
+ Jack, "but the night's coming on; so I'll turn in. Wake me if
+ you sees any thing; and after I've got my two hours' rest,
+ I'll relieve you."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With these words the soldier turned on his side, under
+ shelter of a grave, and as his libations had been rather
+ copious during the day, it was not long before he gave
+ audible testimony that the dread of supernatural visitants
+ had had no effect in disturbing the even current of his
+ fancy. Although Larry had not opposed the proposition of his
+ kinsman, yet he felt by no means at ease. He put in practice
+ all the usually recommended nostrums for keeping away
+ unpleasant thoughts:&mdash;all would not do. "If it was a
+ common, dacent, quite (quiet,) well-behaved churchyard
+ a'self," thought Larry, half-aloud&mdash;"but when 'tis a
+ place like this forsaken ould berrin'-ground, which is noted
+ for villiany"&mdash;"For what, Larry?" said a gentleman,
+ stepping out of a niche which contained the only statue time
+ had spared. It was the figure of Saint Colman, to whom the
+ church was dedicated. Larry had been looking at the figure,
+ as it shone forth in ebon and ivory in the light and shadow
+ of the now high-careering moon, "For what, Larry," said the
+ gentleman,&mdash;"for what do you say the churchyard is
+ noted?" "For nothing at all, plase your honour," replied
+ Larry, "except the height of gentility." The stranger was
+ about four feet high, dressed in what might be called flowing
+ garments,&mdash;if, in spite of their form, their rigidity
+ did not deprive them of all claim to such an appellation. He
+ wore an antique mitre upon his head; his hands were folded
+ upon his breast; and over his right shoulder rested a
+ pastoral crook. There was a solemn expression in his
+ countenance, and his eye might truly be called stony. His
+ beard could not be well said to wave upon his bosom; but it
+ lay upon it in ample profusion, stiffer than that of a Jew on
+ a frosty morning after mist. In short, as Larry soon
+ discovered to his horror, on looking up at the niche, it was
+ no other than Saint Colman himself, who had stept forth,
+ indignant (in all probability) at the stigma cast by the
+ watcher of the dead on the churchyard of which his Saintship
+ was patron. He smiled with a grisly solemnity&mdash;just such
+ a smile as you might imagine would play round the lips of a
+ milestone (if it had any,) at the recantation so quickly
+ volunteered by Larry. "Well," said he, "Lawrence
+ Sweeney"&mdash;"How well the old rogue," thought Larry,
+ "knows my name!" "Since you profess yourself such an admirer
+ of the merits of the churchyard of Inistubber, get up and
+ follow me, till I show you the civilities of the
+ place&mdash;for I am master here, and must do the honours."
+ "Willingly would I go with your worship," replied our friend;
+ "but you see here I am engaged to Sir Theodore, who, though a
+ good master, was a mighty passionate man when every thing was
+ not done as he ordered it; and I am feared to stir." "Sir
+ Theodore," said the Saint, "will not blame you for following
+ me. I assure you he will not." "But then," said
+ Larry&mdash;"Follow me!" cried the Saint, in a hollow voice,
+ and casting upon him his stony eye, drew poor Larry after
+ him, as the bridal guest was drawn by the lapidary glance of
+ the Ancient Mariner; or, as Larry himself afterwards
+ expressed it, "as a jaw tooth is wrinched out of an ould
+ woman with a pair of pinchers." The Saint strode before him
+ in silence, not in the least incommoded by the stones and
+ rubbish, which at every step sadly contributed to the
+ discomfiture of Larry's shins, who followed his marble
+ conductor into a low vault, situated at the west end of the
+ church. The path lay through coffins piled up on each side of
+ the way in various <span class="pagenum"><a id="page349"
+ name="page349"></a>[pg 349]</span> degrees of decomposition;
+ and, excepting that the solid footsteps of the saintly guide,
+ as they smote heavily on the floor of stone, broke the deadly
+ silence, all was still. Stumbling and staggering along,
+ directed only by the casual glimpses of light afforded by the
+ moon, where it broke through the dilapidated roof of the
+ vault, and served to discover only sights of woe, Larry
+ followed. He soon felt that he was descending, and could not
+ help wondering at the length of the journey. He began to
+ entertain the most unpleasant suspicions as to the character
+ of his conductor;&mdash;but what could he do? Flight was out
+ of the question, and to think of resistance was absurd.
+ "Needs must, they say," thought he to himself, "when the
+ devil drives. I see it's much the same when a saint, leads."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At last the dolorous march had an end; and not a little to
+ Larry's amazement, he found that his guide had brought him to
+ the gate of a lofty hall, before which a silver lamp, filled
+ with naphtha, "yielded light as from a sky."&mdash;From
+ within loud sounds of merriment were ringing; and it was
+ evident, from the jocular harmony and the tinkling of
+ glasses, that some subterraneous catch-club were not idly
+ employed over the bottle. "Who's there?" said a porter,
+ roughly responding to the knock of Saint Colman. "Be so
+ good," said the Saint, mildly, "my very good fellow, as to
+ open the door without further questions, or I'll break your
+ head. I'm bringing a gentleman here on a visit, whose
+ business is pressing." "May be so," thought Larry, "but what
+ that business may be, is more than I can tell." The porter
+ sulkily complied with the order, after having apparently
+ communicated the intelligence that a stranger was at hand;
+ for a deep silence immediately followed the tipsy clamour;
+ and Larry, sticking close to his guide, whom he now looked
+ upon almost as a friend, when compared with these underground
+ revellers to whom he was about to be introduced, followed him
+ through a spacious vestibule, which gradually sloped into a
+ low-arched room, where the company was assembled. And a
+ strange-looking company it was. Seated round a long table
+ were three-and-twenty grave and venerable personages,
+ bearded, mitred, stoled, and croziered,&mdash;all living
+ statues of stone, like the Saint who had walked out of his
+ niche. On the drapery before them were figured the images of
+ the sun, moon, and stars&mdash;the inexplicable
+ bear&mdash;the mystic temple, built by the hand of
+ Hiram&mdash;and other symbols, of which the uninitiated knew
+ nothing. The square, the line, the trowel, were not wanting,
+ and the hammer was lying in front of the chair. Labour,
+ however, was over, and the time for refreshment having
+ arrived, each of the stony brotherhood had a flagon before
+ him; and when we mention that the Saints were Irish, and that
+ St. Patrick in person was in the chair, it is not to be
+ wondered at that the mitres, in some instances, hung rather
+ loosely on the side of the heads of some of the canonized
+ compotators. Among the company were found St. Senanus of
+ Limerick, St. Declan of Ardmore, St. Canice of Kilkenny, St.
+ Finbar of Cork, St. Michan of Dublin, St. Brandon of Kerry,
+ St. Fachnan of Ross, and others of that holy brotherhood; a
+ vacant place, which completed the four-and-twentieth, was
+ left for St. Colman, who, as every body knows, is of Cloyne;
+ and he, having taken his seat, addressed the president, to
+ inform him that he had brought the man. The man (viz. Larry
+ himself) was awestruck with the company in which he so
+ unexpectedly found himself; and trembled all over when, on
+ the notice of his guide, the eight-and-forty eyes of stone
+ were turned directly upon himself. "You have just nicked the
+ night to a shaving, Larry," said St. Patrick: "this is our
+ chapter-night, and myself and brethren are here 'assembled on
+ merry occasion.'&mdash;You know who I am?" "God bless your
+ reverence," said Larry, "it's I that do well. Often did I see
+ your picture hanging over the door of places where it
+ is"&mdash;lowering his voice&mdash;"pleasanter to be than
+ here, buried under an ould church." "You may as well say it
+ out, Larry," said St. Patrick; "and don't think I'm going to
+ be angry with you about it; for I was once flesh and blood
+ myself. But you remember, the other night, saying that you
+ would think nothing of pulling your master out of purgatory,
+ if you could get at him there, and appealing to me to stand
+ by your words.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Y-e-e-s," said Larry, most mournfully; for he recollected
+ the significant look he had received from the picture. "And,"
+ continued St. Patrick, "you remember also that I gave you a
+ wink, which you know is as good, any day, as a nod&mdash;at
+ least, to a blind horse." "I'm sure, your reverence," said
+ Larry, with a beating heart, "is too much of a gintleman to
+ hould a poor man hard to every word he may say of an evening,
+ and therefore"&mdash;"I was thinking so," said the saint, "I
+ guessed you'd prove a poltroon when put to the push. What do
+ you think, my brethren, I should do to this fellow?" A hollow
+ sound burst from the bosoms of the unanimous assembly.
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page350" name="page350"></a>[pg
+ 350]</span> The verdict was short and decisive:&mdash;"Knock
+ out his brains!" And in order to suit the action to the word,
+ the whole four-and-twenty arose at once, and with their
+ immovable eyes fixed firmly on the face of our hero&mdash;who
+ horror struck with the sight as he was, could not close
+ his&mdash;they began to glide slowly but regularly towards
+ him, bending their line into the form of a crescent, so as to
+ environ him on all sides. In vain he fled to the door; its
+ massive folds resisted mortal might. In vain he cast his eyes
+ around in quest of a loophole of retreat&mdash;there was
+ none. Closer and closer pressed on the slowly-moving phalanx,
+ and the uplifted croziers threatened soon to put their
+ sentence into execution. Supplication was all that
+ remained&mdash;and Larry sunk upon his knees. "Ah! then,"
+ said he, "gintlemin and ancient ould saints as you are, don't
+ kill the father of a large small family, who never did hurt
+ to you or yours. Sure, if 'tis your will that I should go
+ to&mdash;no matter who, for there's no use in naming his
+ name&mdash;might I not as well make up my mind to go there,
+ alive and well, stout and hearty, and able to face
+ him,&mdash;as with my head knocked into bits, as if I had
+ been after a fair or a patthern?" "You say right," said St.
+ Patrick, checking with a motion of his crozier the advancing
+ assailants, who returned to their seats. "I am glad to see
+ you coming to reason. Prepare for your journey." "And how,
+ plase your Saintship, am I to go?" asked Larry. "Why," said
+ St. Patrick, "as Colman here has guided you so far, he may
+ guide you further. But as the journey is into foreign parts,
+ where you arn't likely to be known, you had better take this
+ letter of introduction, which may be of use to you." "And
+ here, also, Lawrence," said a Dublin Saint&mdash;perhaps
+ Michan&mdash;"take you this box also, and make use of it as
+ he to whom you speak shall suggest." "Take a hold, and a firm
+ one," said St. Colman, "Lawrence, of my cassock, and we' ll
+ start." "All right behind?" cried St. Patrick. "All right!"
+ was the reply. In an
+ instant!&mdash;vault&mdash;table&mdash;saints&mdash;bell&mdash;church,
+ faded into air; a rustling hiss of wings was all that was
+ heard; and Larry felt his cheek swept by a current, as if a
+ covey of birds of enormous size were passing him. (It was, in
+ all probability, the flight of the saints returning to
+ heaven, but on that point nothing certain has reached us up
+ to the present time of writing.) He had not a long time to
+ wonder at the phenomenon, for he himself soon began to soar,
+ dangling in mid sky at the skirt of the cassock of his
+ sainted guide. Earth, and all that appertains thereto,
+ speedily passed from his eyes, and they were alone in the
+ midst of circumfused ether, glowing with a sunless light.
+ Above, in immense distance, was fixed the firmament, fastened
+ up with bright stars, fencing around the world with its azure
+ wall. They fled far, before any distinguishable object met
+ their eyes. At length a long, white streak, shining like
+ silver in the moonbeam, was visible to their sight. "That,"
+ said St. Colman, "is the Limbo which adjoins the earth, and
+ is the highway for ghosts departing the world. It is called
+ in Milton, a book which I suppose, Larry, you never have
+ read"&mdash;"And how could I, plase your worship," said
+ Larry, "seein' I don't know a B from a bull's foot!" "Well,
+ it is called in Milton the Paradise of Fools: and if it were
+ indeed peopled by all of that tribe who leave the world, it
+ would contain the best company that ever figured on the
+ earth. To the north, you see a bright speck?" "I do." "That
+ marks the upward path,&mdash;narrow and hard to find. To the
+ south you may see a darksome road&mdash;broad, smooth, and
+ easy of descent; that is the lower way. It is thronged with
+ the great ones of the world; you may see their figures in the
+ gloom. Those who are soaring upwards are wrapt in the flood
+ of light flowing perpetually from that single spot, and you
+ cannot see them. The silver path on which we enter is the
+ Limbo. Here I part with you. You are to give your letter to
+ the first person you meet. Do your best;&mdash;be courageous,
+ but observe particularly that you profane no holy name, or I
+ will not answer for the consequences."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ His guide had scarcely vanished, when Larry heard the
+ tinkling of a bell in the distance, and turning his eyes in
+ the quarter whence it proceeded, he saw a grave-looking man
+ in black, with eyes of fire, driving before him a flock of
+ ghosts with a switch, as you see turkeys driven on the
+ western road, at the approach of Christmas. They were on the
+ highway to Purgatory. The ghosts were shivering in the thin
+ air, which pinched them severely, now that they had lost the
+ covering of their bodies. Among the group, Larry recognised
+ his old master, by the same means that Ulysses, Aeneas, and
+ others, recognised the bodiless forms of their friends in the
+ regions of Acheron. "What brings a living person," said the
+ man in black, "on this pathway? I shall make legal capture of
+ you, Larry Sweeney, for trespassing. You have no business
+ here." "I have come," said Larry, plucking up courage, "to
+ bring <span class="pagenum"><a id="page351"
+ name="page351"></a>[pg 351]</span> your honour's glory a
+ letter from a company of gintlemin with whom I had the
+ pleasure of spending the evening, underneath the ould church
+ of Inistubber." "A letter," said the man in black, "where is
+ it?" "Here, my lord," said Larry. "Ho!" cried the black
+ gentleman, on opening it, "I know the handwriting. It won't
+ do, however, my lad,&mdash;I see they want to throw dust in
+ my eyes." "Whew," thought Larry, "that's the very thing. 'Tis
+ for that the ould Dublin boy gave me the box. I'd lay a
+ tinpenny to a brass farthing that it's filled with Lundy
+ Foot." Opening the box, therefore, he flung its contents
+ right into the fiery eyes of the man in black, while he was
+ still occupied with reading the letter,&mdash;and the
+ experiment was successful.
+ "Curses&mdash;tche-tche-tche,&mdash; Curses on it," exclaimed
+ he, clapping his hand before his eyes, and sneezing most
+ lustily.&mdash;"Run, you villians, run," cried Larry, to the
+ ghosts&mdash;"run, you villians, now that his eyes are off of
+ you&mdash;O master, master! Sir Theodore, jewel! run to the
+ right-hand side, make for the bright speck, and God give you
+ luck."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He had forgotten his injunction. The moment the word was
+ uttered he felt the silvery ground sliding from under him;
+ and with the swiftness of thought he found himself on the
+ flat of his back, under the very niche of the old church wall
+ whence he had started, dizzy and confused with a measureless
+ tumble. The emancipated ghosts floated in all directions,
+ emitting their shrill and stridulous cries in the gleaming
+ expanse. Some were again gathered by their old conductor;
+ some scudding about at random, took the right hand path,
+ others the left. Into which of them Sir Theodore struck, is
+ not recorded; but as he had heard the direction, let us hope
+ that he made the proper choice. Larry had not much time given
+ him to recover from his fall, for almost in an instant he
+ heard an angry snorting rapidly approaching, and looking up,
+ whom should he see but the gentleman in black, with eyes
+ gleaming more furiously than ever, and his horns (for, in his
+ haste, he had let his hat fall) relieved in strong shadow
+ against the moon. Up started Larry&mdash;away ran his pursuer
+ after him. The safest refuge was, of course, the
+ church,&mdash;thither ran our hero&mdash;and after
+ him&mdash;fiercer than the shark, swifter than the
+ hounds&mdash;fled the black gentleman. The church is cleared;
+ the chancel entered; and the hot breath of his pursuer glows
+ upon the outstretched neck of Larry. Escape is
+ impossible&mdash;the extended talons of the fiend have
+ clutched him by the hair. "You are mine," cried the
+ demon,&mdash;"if I have lost any of my flock, I have at last
+ got you." "Oh, St. Patrick!" exclaimed our hero, in horror,
+ &mdash;"Oh, St. Patrick have mercy upon me, and save me!" "I
+ tell you what, cousin Larry," said Kinaley, chucking him up
+ from behind a gravestone, where he had fallen&mdash;"all the
+ St. Patricks that ever were born would not have saved you
+ from ould Tom Picton, if he caught you sleeping on your post
+ as I've caught you now. By the word of an ould soldier, he'd
+ have had the provost-marshal upon you, and I'd not give
+ two-pence for the loan of your life. And then, too, I see you
+ have drunk every drop in the bottle. What can you say for
+ yourself?" "Nothing at all," said Larry, scratching his
+ head,&mdash;"but it was an unlucky dream, and I'm glad it's
+ over."&mdash;<i>Literary Souvenir.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ Ancient Roman Festivals.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ NOVEMBER.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The <i>Epulum Jovis</i> was a sumptuous feast offered to
+ Jupiter on the 13th of November. The gods were formally
+ invited, and attended; for the statues were brought in rich
+ beds, furnished with soft pillows, called <i>pulvinaria</i>.
+ Thus accommodated, their godships were placed on their
+ couches at the most honourable part of the table, and served
+ with the rich dainties, as if they were able to eat; but the
+ <i>epulones</i>, or ministers, who had the care and
+ management of the feast, performed that function for them,
+ and no doubt did the part of <i>gastronomic proxies</i> with
+ <i>eclat</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The <i>Brumalia</i> was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among
+ the Romans during the space of thirty days, commencing on the
+ 24th of November. It was instituted by Romulus, who used,
+ during this time, to entertain the senate. During this feast
+ indications were taken of the felicity of the remaining part
+ of the winter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ P.T.W.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <h2>
+ The Gatherer.
+ </h2>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SHAKSPEARE.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ INNOCENT CONFESSION.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused
+ herself of using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the
+ confessor. "I do it to make myself handsomer."&mdash;"And
+ does it produce that effect?" "At least I think so,
+ father."&mdash;The confessor on this took his
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page352" name="page352"></a>[pg
+ 352]</span> penitent out of the confessional, and having
+ looked at her attentively in the light, said, "Well, madam,
+ you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ MERCHANT TAILORS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the
+ Merchant Tailors' motto, "<i>Concordi&acirc; parvae res
+ crescunt</i>" replied, "Yes, that is to say, nine tailors
+ make a man."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ RABELAIS.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ A JEU D'ESPRIT.
+ </center>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ In France they say
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lived RABELAIS,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A witty wight, and a right merry fellow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Who in good company was sometimes mellow:
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ And,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Although he was a priest,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thought it no sacramental sin&mdash;to feast.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I can't say much for his morality:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But for his immortality,
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ Good luck!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And scarcely a good library's shelf
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But boasts acquaintance with the elf.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But now I'll tell you what I should have told before,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A grievous illness brought him nigh <i>Death's</i> door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Who, bony wight,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Enjoyed the sight&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the jester had joined his company.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Rab's friends, good folk!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thought it no joke
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To the poor joker; they therefore sent around
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For all the Esculapians to be found;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And in a trice
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ (For doctors always haste to give advice&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mind&mdash;don't mistake&mdash;I mean when there's a fee)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They mustered two&mdash;to which add three.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Now about the bed
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Is seen each learned head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The patient's pulse is felt&mdash;with graver air
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Each M.D. seats him in a chair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Crosses his legs&mdash;leans on his stick,
+ mums&mdash;hahs&mdash;and hums
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Pulls out his watch&mdash;takes snuff&mdash;and twirls
+ his thumbs.
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ At length,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The awful stillness broke&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ As if from silence gathering strength
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Most lustily they all did croak,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Their opinions mingling,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In discordant jingling&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A purge"&mdash;"a blister"&mdash;"shave his head"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Senna and salts"&mdash;"a clyster"&mdash;"have him
+ bled,"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A pill at noon"&mdash;"another pill at night,"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thus with purges and blisters,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Pills, bleeding, and clysters,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The poor patient they threatened
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Should be deluged and sweatened.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Unable to endure the riot,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And wishing for a little quiet,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The sickman raised his head,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And said&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Gentlemen, I do beseech ye, cease your pother,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nor any more with me your wise heads bother,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Scratching your wigs,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Like sapient pigs;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Whate'er you may decide is my disease,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I humbly do conceive a little ease
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From your infernal noise and chatter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With which I'm dunn'd
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And nearly stunn'd,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Would greatly tend to mend the matter;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And if, perforce, I must resign my breath,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For heav'n's sake let me <i>die</i> a NATURAL
+ <i>death</i>.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ P.M.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ AN AGITATOR.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ M. Monchenut, an old man of eighty, afflicted with the palsy,
+ was arrested during the reign of terror, under suspicion of
+ being an agitator. Being asked what he had to say to the
+ accusation, "Alas, gentlemen, it is very true, I am agitated
+ enough, God knows, for I have not been able to keep a limb
+ still for these fifteen years."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CHINESE POLITENESS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ There is one striking particular in which the Chinese
+ politeness is quite the reverse of ours. To take off their
+ caps when they salute one another, or even accidentally to
+ appear uncovered, is esteemed the height of ill breeding and
+ indecency.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HALBERT H.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets
+ are informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and
+ may be purchased separately. The whole of the numbers are now
+ in print, and can be procured by giving an order to any
+ Bookseller or Newsvender.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Complete sets Vol. I. to XI. in boards, price &pound;2.
+ l9<i>s</i>. 6<i>d</i>. half bound, &pound;3. l7<i>s</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ CHEAP and POPULAR WORKS published at the MIRROR OFFICE in the
+ Strand, near Somerset House.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS, Embellished with nearly
+ 150 Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. CANNING. &amp;c. Price
+ 2s.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price l3s.
+ boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD
+ DISPLAYED Price 5s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BEAUTIES of SCOTT, 2 vols. price 7s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BACON'S ESSAYS Price 8d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <blockquote class="footnote">
+ <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>:
+ <a href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a>
+ <p>
+ The portion of this temple which is still standing in the
+ Campo Vaccino, and which consists of three marble columns,
+ with a fragment of entablature, is universally acknowledged
+ to be the finest specimen, not only of the architecture of
+ the Augustan age, but of the Corinthian order, not merely
+ in Rome, but throughout the whole ancient world. Whether
+ contemplated in the original, or through the medium of
+ drawings, it inspires unequivocal admiration as a perfect
+ model of the florid style: and from the inferences
+ deducible from the dimensions and relative position of the
+ three columns and their entablature, it is clear that the
+ elegance and propriety of their arrangement, as members of
+ an entire edifice, were equal to the grace of the
+ proportions of the still existing parts, and to the beauty,
+ however exquisite, of their enrichments.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <blockquote class="footnote">
+ <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>:
+ <a href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a>
+ <p>
+ One of the most characteristic buildings recently erected
+ in the metropolis, was the ill-fated <i>Brunswick
+ Theatre</i>, the propriety of whose facade was universally
+ acknowledged.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <p>
+ <i>Printed and Published by J. LAMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near
+ Somerset House.) London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New
+ Market, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 342, NOVEMBER 22, 1828***</p>
+<p>******* This file should be named 11405-h.txt or 11405-h.zip *******</p>
+<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br />
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828, by Various
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12,
+Issue 342, November 22, 1828
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: March 2, 2004 [eBook #11405]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: US-ASCII
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE,
+AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 342, NOVEMBER 22, 1828***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Allen Siddle, David Garcia, and the
+Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+ file which includes the original illustration.
+ See 11405-h.htm or 11405-h.zip:
+ (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h/11405-h.htm)
+ or
+ (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/0/11405/11405-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. 12, NO. 342.] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+[Illustration: COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL. ]
+
+
+COUNCIL OFFICE, &c. WHITEHALL.
+
+
+From the Druids' Temple, at Abury, (our last engraving,) to the Council
+Office, at Whitehall, is a long stride in the march of time. From "grave
+to gay, and lively to severe," is nothing to it; but variety is the
+public dictum; and with more sincerity than the courtier in _Tom Thumb_,
+we say to the public,
+
+
+ "Whate'er your majesty shall please to name,
+ Long cut or short cut, to us' tis all the same."
+
+
+On the annexed page is represented the new splendid range of buildings,
+including the _Council Office_, _Board of Trade_, &c. at
+Whitehall. The architect, Mr. Soane, has adapted the facade from the
+Temple of Jupiter Stator, at Rome.[1]
+
+But Mr. Soane's adaptation has been only partial, and he has adhered
+merely to the details of the columns and entablature. "The facade," it is
+well observed in an early Number of the _Athenaeum_, "enjoys one of
+the most favourable sites for the display of a public building which the
+metropolis affords; no limit has been set to the expense; the finest
+materials the country yields have been used in its construction; the
+richest example of the richest order which antiquity has left us, has
+been lavishly employed in its decoration; and yet," continues the critic,
+"is not the whole a failure?" He then describes the effect of it as "poor,
+or at best but pretty," and attributes the absence of grandeur to the
+"want of sufficient elevation."--"To the general elevation it may be
+objected, that it has no prominent centre; that, composed of two wings
+and an intermediate space receding, it has more the character of a flank
+than a front building; and that the want of a central entrance derogates
+greatly from its dignity as a principal facade."
+
+But we are mere amateurs in these matters, and it will be as well to
+leave the remainder of this criticism to the more studious reader. We
+have, however, glanced at the principal defects which the writer in the
+_Athenaeum_ points out, and we are bound to admit the justice of his
+remarks. The details which produce this effect would not be so generally
+interesting. "The order itself," says he, "it must be admitted, is well
+copied, and excellently executed;" but Mr. Soane's application of it is
+loudly censured--a Roman temple being inappropriate for a British Council
+Office. Perhaps our critic would have preferred a facade like that of the
+Palais de Justice at Paris,--a platform, ascended by an immense flight of
+steps, which serves as a basement for a projecting body of four Doric
+columns; with four large pedestals in front, and statues of _Strength_,
+_Plenty_, _Justice_, and _Prudence_, as the cardinal virtues of English
+legislation and trade.
+
+Upon the whole, we cannot help thinking some of the details of this new
+range extremely rich and pleasing, although we assent to the above
+character of their general effect. The columns, of fluted Corinthian, and
+the cornice of the order, are to us very beautiful; but the upper windows
+are unsightly, or, as a wag would say, purely attic; and the entrances
+are too strictly _official_ for the architecture of the building.
+This brings us again to the inappropriateness of the adaptation, which
+made these introductions unavoidable.[2]
+
+The front of the building is not completed, the northern wing having yet
+to be erected. When this is finished, the effect may be materially
+assisted.
+
+While we are in this quarter, and lest "we may never come again," it may
+be as well to thank our correspondent, "An Architect," for his letter on
+"Whitehall," a very small portion of which has ever been completed. What
+has been finished--the Banqueting House--is one of the triumphs of Inigo
+Jones, but like all human works, is sadly dilapidated; although this is
+attributable to the bad material, rather than to the interval since its
+erection. The _whole_ was, indeed, a magnificent design.
+
+ [1] The portion of this temple which is still standing in the Campo
+ Vaccino, and which consists of three marble columns, with a
+ fragment of entablature, is universally acknowledged to be the
+ finest specimen, not only of the architecture of the Augustan
+ age, but of the Corinthian order, not merely in Rome, but
+ throughout the whole ancient world. Whether contemplated in the
+ original, or through the medium of drawings, it inspires
+ unequivocal admiration as a perfect model of the florid style:
+ and from the inferences deducible from the dimensions and
+ relative position of the three columns and their entablature,
+ it is clear that the elegance and propriety of their arrangement,
+ as members of an entire edifice, were equal to the grace of the
+ proportions of the still existing parts, and to the beauty,
+ however exquisite, of their enrichments.
+
+ [2] One of the most characteristic buildings recently erected in
+ the metropolis, was the ill-fated _Brunswick Theatre_, the
+ propriety of whose facade was universally acknowledged.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CROMLECH.
+
+(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.)
+
+
+In No. 328 of the MIRROR, you mistake in spelling _cromlech_; the
+last syllable is always written _lech_, not _leh_; neither is
+it derived from _crom_ and _leac_, the Irish, but from _crom_ and _llech_,
+the Celtic, of which the Irish is the most corrupted, and the present
+Welsh the most pure dialect. _Llech_ signifies a stone in Welsh, and is
+pronounced in a way peculiar to the Welsh; when simple it is _llech_,
+when compounded _lech_.
+
+RUPERT C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+GARDEN OF HYACINTHS
+
+IN THE SERAGLIO, CONSTANTINOPLE.
+
+(_For the Mirror._)
+
+
+In this garden the sultan passes most of his leisure hours, free from the
+outward parade attendant on his rank. It is small, but tastefully
+disposed in oblong beds, edged with fine porcelain; no plant is allowed
+to grow in it except the hyacinth; whence the name of the garden and the
+apartment it contains. Nothing can be more beautiful than the interior;
+three sides are formed by a divan, the cushions and pillows of which were
+of black satin, exquisitely embroidered. The floor was covered with
+Gobelin tapestry, and the ceiling magnificently gilded and burnished.
+Opposite the windows of the chamber was a fire-place, in the European
+manner; and on each side a door, covered with hangings of crimson cloth.
+Between each of these doors appeared a glass-case, containing the sultan's
+private library; every volume was in manuscript, with the name written
+on the edges of the leaves. Opposite the doors and fire-place hung three
+gold cages, containing artificial birds, which sang by mechanism. On one
+side was a raised bench, on which was placed an embroidered towel, a
+splendid vase, and basin for washing the hands and beard; upon the wall
+over it was suspended an embroidered portfolio, worked with silver on
+yellow leather, to contain the petitions presented to the sultan when he
+goes in procession to the mosque. Close to the door was placed a pair of
+yellow boots and slippers, which are always at the entrance of every
+apartment frequented by the sultan. Groups of arms, such as pistols,
+sabres, and poniards, were displayed with great taste and effect on the
+compartments of the walls; the handles were covered with diamonds and
+jewels of large size, which, as they glittered around, gave an almost
+dazzling brilliancy to this sumptuous chamber, thus characterizing the
+amusements of the man when divested of the ceremony and formality of the
+sultan.
+
+INA.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+NEEDLE-WORK ALTAR-PIECE.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+The town of Welwyn, Hertfordshire, was the last place of residence of Dr.
+Young, author of "Night Thoughts," where he was rector. His pious lady
+employed her leisure hours with her needle, in the completion of a most
+elegant altar-piece, which now embellishes the sacramental table in the
+church; and, through the care of the parish clerk, this specimen of the
+indefatigable mind of Mrs. Young has been surprisingly preserved. The
+words down the centre,
+
+
+ I AM
+ THE BREAD
+ OF
+ LIFE,
+
+
+have the appearance of being the production of a most masterly pencil;
+and the word "life" is in as fine a state of preservation as on the day
+when it was first presented by the benevolent artist; every tint,
+including the light and shade which surround the word, having withstood
+the ravages of time, and been ingeniously preserved by a kind of gauze
+covering.
+
+W.G.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LOCUSTS AND WILD HONEY.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+It has not been till lately that any of the travellers into Palestine
+have told what was meant by the locusts mentioned by St. Matthew as part
+of the food of John the Baptist. Dr. Clarke first related, that a tree
+grows in the Holy Land, which is called the locust tree, and produces an
+eatable fruit; but this fact was well known to many who had been in the
+Mediterranean. The tree grows in several of the countries which border
+that sea. It has been found in much greater abundance in some parts of
+the East Indies, whence it has now become an article of export. Many
+thousands of its pods are annually imported by the East India Company;
+and, either because the fruit is richer in more southern climates, or for
+some other reason, a great quantity of them are shipped for Venice and
+Trieste, where there is distilled from them a liquor, which is supposed
+to be an antidote to the plague, or at least useful in curing it. These
+pods are about twenty inches long, and from half to three-quarters of an
+inch in diameter. We call them pods for want of a term which would more
+accurately describe them; but they are not flat, neither have they that
+sort of hinge on one side, and slight fastening on the other, which
+plainly show how the shells of peas and beans are to be opened. On the
+contrary, these are round; but there are two opposite lines along them,
+where the colour alone would induce any one to suppose the skin to be, as
+it is, thinner than elsewhere. Having the fruit before us only in a dry
+state, we can describe it in no other; but at present a knife could
+scarcely be made to penetrate the thicker part, and does not very easily
+make its way into the thinner. The fruit, which lies in little cells
+within, is a pulp, or paste, somewhat like that of tamarinds, but
+smoother, and not so sweet. There are pips in it nearly as hard, and
+about half as large, as those of a tamarind, containing a kernel in each.
+It should be added, that in the stems of this locust tree wild bees still
+deposit their honey.
+
+W.G.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+FLOWERS.
+
+(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.)
+
+
+On reading the MIRROR, No. 337, my attention was attracted to one of your
+many pleasant and amusing extracts from the "Public Journals," bearing
+the title of "Flowers." Being myself a great admirer of that beautiful
+and delightful part of creation, I was led to peruse the article with
+somewhat increased attention. In all ages flowers have been regarded with
+peculiar sympathy; they have been associated with the calm serenity of
+virtue; they have been strewed around the altars of devotion; have been
+made to accompany the lonely, unobtrusive works of merit; and hung around
+the grave of faded and departed innocence, thus silently, but powerfully,
+depicting virtue, the essence of felicity. Although I do not consider you
+to be accountable for statements contained in the articles extracted from
+other journals, still I presume you would not knowingly make your work
+the vehicle of any matter which would lead your readers astray. I have,
+therefore, ventured to call your attention to a particular part of the
+above article, and to correct what I presume to be a misstatement.
+
+In the article alluded to, the writer states, "It has been said that
+flowers placed in bed-rooms are not wholesome; that cannot," he remarks,
+"be meant of such as are in a state of vegetation," &c.
+
+Now plants, it is well known, respire similarly to animals, through the
+pores of their leaves. By the agency of the sun, during the day, a
+quantity of pure gas, called oxygen, is given out; but on the contrary,
+during the night, or absence of the sun, gas of a most noxious and
+pernicious nature is emitted, and at the same time a portion of the pure
+air (oxygen gas) is absorbed. The greater part of the atmosphere must
+therefore be impregnated with this deleterious gas. Taking into
+consideration the confined state of a bed-chamber, the great increase of
+perspiration of the body, with the continual increase of carbonic gas
+from respiration, and this in an apartment where every thing _ought_
+most sedulously to be avoided which in the least tends to deteriorate the
+atmosphere, it must be evident the practice ought to be avoided, if we
+are desirous of preserving health.
+
+Flowers in a state of vegetation are, I consider, more pernicious _at
+night_, or during the absence of the sun, than those plucked and put
+into water, provided they be not immersed too long a time; for
+immediately the stem is severed from the plant, the vital action, if it
+may be so termed, ceases, and decomposition commences; but till the
+decomposition has been going on some time, nothing of a pernicious nature
+need be apprehended. In like manner, directly the vital principle becomes
+extinct in animals, decomposition ensues. For the space of five or six
+days, however, no perceptible alteration of the fibres is visible; but
+after that time a compound of gases begins to exhale from the body,
+accompanied with a fetid odour, till the parts are entirely decomposed.
+
+The effluvium arising from the _farina_ and _petals_ is
+considered unwholesome, however agreeable it may be to the senses,
+whether the plant be in a state of vegetation or not, it being too
+powerful for the olfactory nerve.
+
+S.S.T.
+
+Our pages are always open to the correction of our readers, and in
+this instance we thank _S.S.T._ for the above, although we think he
+has misconceived some portion of the article on "Flowers," the writer
+adding to that passage quoted by our correspondent, "_provided fresh
+air is frequently introduced_"; of course, he does not refer to the
+_night-time_, although it would have been clearer, had he suggested the
+removal of flowers from bed-rooms during the night.--ED.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CIRCULAR TEMPLES.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+These structures are generally supposed to have been built with
+astronomical allusions, especially the noble temple at _Stonehenge_.
+Circular temples existed among the Israelites. In Exodus, c. xxiv. v. 4,
+it is written that "Moses rose up early in the morning, and builded an
+altar under the hill, and twelve pillars." Again in Joshua, iv. 9, Joshua
+set up twelve stones; and it is well worthy of remark, that the twelve
+pillars of Moses and Joshua correspond with the number of stones of the
+inner circles at Abury. It is possible that these stones were plastered
+over, and probably highly ornamented, as in Deuteronomy, xxvii. 2, we
+read, "Thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with
+plaster;" and there is a large, upright stone in Ireland, which,
+according to the legend of the country, was once covered over with gold.
+On some of these pillars it is likewise probable that certain characters
+were traced, as among the Israelites words of the law were written upon
+similar obelisks or columns.
+
+The earliest temples in Greece were formed of obeliscal columns; and in
+some parts of Africa the custom obtains to this day. Hence the pillars of
+our present temples are the most ancient; and subsequent builders of holy
+sanctuaries filled up the intercolumniations till the temples were
+constructed as we now see their ruins in Athens and elsewhere. But many
+of the early temples were round; and it is a curious fact, hitherto
+unnoticed, I believe, that the altar end, the sanctum of our earliest
+Saxon churches, is circular.
+
+JAMES SILVESTER.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ST. OLAVE.--A MANX LEGEND.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+[Magnus, King of Norway, having committed sacrilege, by opening the grave
+of St. Olave, he was commanded by the spirit of the offended saint to
+perform the voluntary penance of quitting the kingdom in thirty days. He
+obeyed this intimation, and immediately left Norway. Having conquered
+many of the Western Isles, at length he established himself in the Isle
+of Man. Afterwards attempting the reduction of Ireland, he was surrounded
+by the natives and slain, with the whole of his followers.]
+
+
+ Olave, of rocky Norway's saints, the holiest and the best,
+ Entomb'd in tumulus, enjoys a calm and peerless rest;
+ By all of heav'ns votaries in saintly rank renown'd,
+ As high in blessedness, and chief in holy missal crown'd.
+
+ The dead--in holy, stilly peace, the sacred dead repose,
+ Afar from earth's turmoil and grief, and all of sick'ning woes;
+ From racking pain, and withering pride, and avarice's care,
+ Secure they rest in solitude, unaw'd by sin or snare.
+
+ To sack the gloomy sepulchre of lately living clay,
+ From cheerful day and life remov'd, by dreaded death away,
+ Is crime indeed of blackest hue, deserving exile's fate,
+ From native climes ordain'd to feel an outlaw's dreary state.
+
+ Could Norway's priest-despising chief, deem sacrilege a crime
+ Fitting for absolution,--or dark penance of set time
+ That daring such all dreaded sin, he gazes on the grave,
+ And tramples o'er the hallow'd dust of canoniz'd Olave.
+
+ Lone sepulchre in holy earth--sure wickedness so dire,
+ Of holy man, and sacred place, incenses heaven's ire;
+ Can less than ever banishment from Norway's ice bound land,
+ Stay sure revenge--pursuing fate--and justice' awful hand?
+
+ Away he sails--the foaming seas as Corsair now he laves,
+ Dauntless--heroic--daring winds, and man-entombing waves,
+ To visit other lands afar,--to combat chiefs of fame;
+ In battle-field to spread around the dread of Norway's name.
+
+ Lone Mona's sea-girt isle he dares with spear and flashing sword,
+ Usurping regal rule and right by power of pirate horde;
+ Yet vengeance drear, and dark desert of direst actions, crave
+ A bloody death, a justice clear, and dark usurper's grave.
+
+ On Erin's lovely land he falls--awarded darksome doom,
+ When, ruffian-like, he dared profane the saintly Olave's tomb:
+ He leaves his conquests, kingdoms, crowns, and all of earthly state,
+ To sleep in loneliness, and fill his dark predicted fate.
+
+
+_Kirk Michael, Isle of Man_. A B.C.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+THE ANECDOTE GALLERY.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A LIVING ALCHEMIST.
+
+(_From Sir R. Phillips's Tour_.)
+
+
+At Luton, Beds. Sir Richard hears of an ALCHEMIST, who lives at the
+village of Lilley, midway between Luton and Hitchen. The whole of his
+interview with this eccentric personage, will doubtless be interesting to
+our readers.
+
+It was four miles out of my road, but I thought a modern alchemist worthy
+of a visit, particularly as several inhabitants of Luton gravely assured
+me, that he had succeeded in discovering the Philosopher's Stone, and
+also the Universal Solvent. The reports about him would have rendered it
+culpable not to have hazarded anything for a personal interview. I learnt
+that he had been a man of fashion, and at one time largely concerned in
+adventures on the turf, but that for many years he had devoted himself to
+his present pursuits; while for some time past, he had been inaccessible
+and invisible to the world, the house being shut and barricadoed, and the
+walls of his grounds protected by hurdles, with spring-guns so planted as
+to resist intrusion in every direction. Under these circumstances, I had
+no encouragement to go to Lilley, but I thought that even the external
+inspection of such premises would repay me for the trouble. At Lilley,
+I inquired for his house of various people, and they looked ominous; some
+smiled, others shook their heads, and all appeared surprised at the
+approach of an apparent visiter to Mr. Kellerman.
+
+The appearance of the premises did not belie vulgar report. I could not
+help shuddering at seeing the high walls of respectable premises, lined
+at the top with double tiers of hurdles, and on driving my chaise to the
+front of the house, I perceived the whole in a state of horrid
+dilapidation. Contrary, however, to my expectation, I found a young man
+who appeared to belong to the out-buildings, and he took charge of my
+card for his master, and went to the back part of the house to deliver it.
+The front windows on the ground-floor and upper stories were entirely
+closed by inside shutters, much of the glass was broken, and the premises
+appeared altogether as if deserted. I was pleased at the words, "My
+master will be happy to see you," and in a minute the front door was
+opened, and Mr. Kellerman presented himself.--I lament that I have not
+the pencil of Hogarth, for a more original figure never was seen. He was
+about six feet high, and of athletic make; on his head was a white
+night-cap, and his dress consisted of a long great-coat once green, and
+he had a sort of jockey waistcoat with three tiers of pockets. His manner
+was extremely polite and graceful, but my attention was chiefly absorbed
+by his singular physiognomy. His complexion was deeply sallow, and his
+eyes large, black, and rolling. He conducted me into a very large parlour,
+with a window looking backward, and having locked the door, and put the
+key in his pocket, he desired me to be seated in one of two large arm
+chairs covered with sheepskins. The room was a realization of the
+well-known picture of Teniers' Alchemist. The floor was covered with
+retorts, crucibles, alembics, jars, bottles in various shapes,
+intermingled with old books piled upon each other, with a sufficient
+quantity of dust and cobwebs. Different shelves were filled in the same
+manner, and on one side stood his bed. In a corner somewhat shaded from
+the light, I beheld two heads, white, with dark wigs on them; I
+entertained no doubt therefore, that among other fancies he was engaged
+in re-making the brazen speaking head of Roger Bacon and Albertus. Many
+persons might have felt alarmed at the peculiarity of my situation, but
+being accustomed to mingle with eccentric characters, and having no fear
+from any pretensions of the black art, I was infinitely gratified by all
+I saw.
+
+Having stated the reports which I had heard, relative to his wonderful
+discoveries, I told him frankly that mine was a visit of curiosity, and
+stated that if what I had heard was matter of fact, the researches of the
+ancient chemists had been unjustly derided. He then gave me a history of
+his studies, mentioned some men whom I had happened to know in London,
+who he alleged had assured him that they had made gold. That having in
+consequence examined the works of the ancient alchemists, and discovered
+the key which they had studiously concealed from the multitude, he had
+pursued their system under the influence of new lights; and after
+suffering numerous disappointments, owing to the ambiguity with which
+they described their processes, he had, at length, happily succeeded; had
+made gold, and could make as much more as he pleased, even to the extent
+of paying off the national debt in the coin of the realm.
+
+I yielded to the declaration, expressed my satisfaction at so
+extraordinary a discovery, and asked him, to oblige me so far, as to show
+me some of the precious metal which he had made.
+
+"Not so," said he; "I will show it to no one. I made Lord Liverpool the
+offer, that if he would introduce me to the king, I would show it to his
+majesty; but Lord Liverpool insolently declined, on the ground that there
+was no precedent; and I am therefore determined, that the secret shall
+die with me. It is true that, in order to avenge myself of such contempt,
+I made a communication to the French ambassador, Prince Polignac, and
+offered to go to France, and transfer to the French government, the
+entire advantages of the discovery; but after deluding me, and shuffling
+for some time, I found it necessary to treat him with the same contempt
+as the others."
+
+I expressed my convictions in regard to the double dealing of men in
+office.
+
+"O," said he, "as to that, every court in Europe well knows that I have
+made the discovery, and they are all in confederacy against me; lest by
+giving it to any one, I should make that country master of all the
+rest--the world, Sir," he exclaimed with great emotion, "is in my hands
+and my power."
+
+Satisfied with this announcement of the discovery of the philosopher's
+stone, I now inquired about the sublime alkahest or universal solvent,
+and whether he had succeeded in deciphering the enigmatical descriptions
+of the ancient writers on that most curious topic.
+
+"Certainly," he replied, "I succeeded in that several years ago."
+
+"Then," I proceeded, "have you effected the other great desideratum, the
+fixing of mercury?"
+
+"Than that process," said he, "there is nothing more easy; at the same
+time it is proper I should inform you, that there are a class of
+impostors, who mistaking the ancient writers, pretend it can be done by
+heat; but I can assure you, it can only be effected by water."
+
+I then besought him to do me the favour, to show me some of his fixed
+mercury, having once seen some which had been fixed by cold.
+
+This proposition, however, he declined, because he said he had refused
+others. "That you may, however, be satisfied that I have made great
+discoveries, here is a bottle of oil, which I have purified, and rendered
+as transparent as spring water. I was offered L10,000. for this discovery;
+but I am so neglected, and so conspired against, that I am determined it
+and all my other discoveries shall die with me."
+
+I now inquired, whether he had been alarmed by the ignorance of the
+people in the country, so as to shut himself up in so unusual a manner.
+
+"No," he replied, "not on their account wholly. They are ignorant and
+insolent enough; but it was to protect myself against the governments of
+Europe, who are determined to get possession of my secret by force. I
+have been," he exclaimed, "twice fired at in one day through that window,
+and three times attempted to be poisoned. They believed I had written a
+book containing my secrets, and to get possession of this book has been
+their object. To baffle them, I burnt all that I had ever written, and I
+have so guarded the windows with spring-guns, and have such a collection
+of combustibles in the range of bottles which stand at your elbow, that I
+could destroy a whole regiment of soldiers if sent against me." He then
+related, that as a further protection he lived entirely in that room, and
+permitted no one to come into the house; while he had locked up every
+room except that with patent padlocks, and sealed the key-holes.
+
+It would be tedious and impossible to follow Mr. Kellerman through a
+conversation of two or three hours, in which he enlarged upon the merits
+of the ancient alchemists, and on the blunders and impertinent
+assumptions of the modern chemists, with whose writings and names it is
+fair to acknowledge he seemed well acquainted. He quoted the authorities
+of Roger and Lord Bacon, Paracelsus, Boyle, Boerhaave, Woolfe, and others,
+to justify his pursuits. As to the term philosopher's stone, he alleged
+that it was a mere figure, to deceive the vulgar. He appeared also to
+give full credit to the silly story about Dee's assistant, Kelly, finding
+some of the powder of projection in the tomb of Roger Bacon at
+Glastonbury, by means of which, as was said, Kelly for a length of time
+supported himself in princely splendour.
+
+I inquired whether he had discovered the blacker than black of Apollonius
+Tyaneus; and this, he assured me, he had effected; it was itself the
+powder of projection for producing gold.
+
+Amidst all this delusion and illusion on these subjects, Mr. Kellerman
+behaved in other respects with great propriety and politeness; and having
+unlocked the door, he took me to the doors of some of the other rooms, to
+show me how safely they were padlocked; and on taking leave, directed me
+in my course towards Bedford.
+
+In a few minutes, I overtook a man, and on inquiring what the people
+thought of Mr. Kellerman, he told me that he had lived with him for seven
+years; that he was one of eight assistants whom he kept for the purpose
+of superintending his crucibles, two at a time relieving each other every
+six hours; that he had exposed some preparations to intense heat for many
+months at a time, but that all except one crucible had burst, and that he
+called on him to observe, that it contained the true "blacker than black."
+The man protested, however, that no gold had ever been made, and that no
+mercury had ever been fixed; for he was quite sure, that if he had made
+any discovery, he could not have concealed it from the assistants; while,
+on the contrary, they witnessed his severe disappointments, at the
+termination of his most elaborate experiments.
+
+On my telling the man that I had been in his room, he seemed much
+astonished at my boldness; for he assured me, that he carried a loaded
+pistol in every one of his six waistcoat pockets. I learnt also from this
+man, that he has or had considerable property in Jamaica; that he has
+lived in the premises at Lilley about twenty-three years, and during
+fourteen of them pursued his alchemical researches with unremitting
+ardour; but for the last few years shut himself up as a close prisoner,
+and lived in the manner I have described.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ Here lyeth wrapt in clay,
+ The body of William Wray:
+ I have no more to say.
+
+
+_Weever's Epitaphs_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+Notes of a Reader.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+COURT OF CHARLES II.
+
+
+In the last No. of the _Edinburgh Review_, there is an admirably written
+article on Hallam's "Constitutional History," not a mere essay, but
+somewhat more like a review than usual. It contains an abundance of
+florid, bold, and vigorous writing, extending through upwards of 70
+pages. Among the most striking passages we notice a parallel between
+Cromwell and Napoleon, drawn with considerable force. But our extract is
+from the lighter portion, as the following ludicrous sketches of some of
+the enormities of Charles II. "Towards the close of the Protectorate,
+many signs indicated that a time of license was at hand. But the
+restoration of Charles II rendered the change wonderfully rapid and
+violent. A deep and general taint infected the morals of the most
+influential classes, and spread itself through every province of
+letters. Poetry inflamed the passions; philosophy undermined the
+principles; divinity itself, inculcating an abject reverence for the
+court, gave additional effect to its licentious example. ... The
+favourite duchess stamps about Whitehall, cursing and swearing. The
+ministers employ their time at the council board in making mouths at
+each other, and taking off each other's gestures for the amusement of
+the king. The peers at a conference begin to pommel each other, and to
+tear collars and periwigs. A speaker in the House of Commons gives
+offence to the court. He is way-laid by a gang of bullies, and his nose
+is cut to the bone. ... The second generation of the statesmen of this
+reign, were worthy of the schools in which they had been trained, of the
+gaming table of Grammont, and the tiring room of Nell ----." This is but
+a small portion of the good set terms in which the reviewer illustrates
+the licentiousness of the times. Speaking of Clarendon, he says, "Mr.
+Hallam scarcely makes sufficient allowance for the wear and tear which
+honesty almost necessarily sustains in the friction of political life,
+and which in times so rough as those through which Clarendon passed,
+must be very considerable. When these are fairly estimated, we think
+that his integrity may be allowed to pass muster." Perhaps political
+honesty is like Joseph Surface's French plate, or the tinsel spread over
+a pair of Birmingham saleshop candlesticks, whose tenderness will not
+withstand the wear and tear of conveyance in the purchaser's pocket. But
+the oddity of the reviewer's comparisons even puts one in good humour
+with their virulence.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+STREET SYMPATHIES.
+
+
+During "the season" the veriest stranger who has an eye and ear, and
+thoughts, must find in London sufficient to occupy his attention; true,
+he may start and sigh, to think that of the busy and enormous multitude
+around him, not one would care, if, treading on yonder bit of orange peel,
+he should slip off the flagway, and falling beneath the wheel of that
+immense coal-wagon, have his thigh crushed to atoms, while you'd be
+saying "Jack Robinson." But if he do sigh, the more fool he; first,
+because "grieving's a folly," as the old sea song hath it; next because
+he is mistaken in supposing that no one would feel interested in his
+misfortune. There are two upon the very flagway with him, who would
+evince the greatest sympathy in his fate; the one is a surgeon's
+apprentice, who, with anxious care, would bear him off to _his_
+hospital, that he might "try his 'prentice hand" to doctor him while
+living, and dissect him when dead; and the other is a running reporter to
+one of the morning papers, who would with gentle and soothing accents
+inquire his name, condition, and abode, to swell the paragraph, and
+increase his pay.--_Blackwood's Magazine._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LINES TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ON THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.
+
+
+ My heart is with you, Bulwer, and portrays
+ The blessings of your first paternal days;
+ To clasp the pledge of purest, holiest faith,
+ To taste one's own and love-born infant's breath,
+ I know, nor would for worlds forget the bliss.
+ I've felt that to a father's heart that kiss,
+ As o'er its little lips you smile and cling,
+ Has fragrance which Arabia could not bring.
+
+ Such are the joys, ill mock'd in ribald song,
+ In thought, ev'n fresh'ning life our life-time long,
+ That give our souls on earth a heaven-drawn bloom;
+ Without them we are weeds upon a tomb.
+
+ Joy be to thee, and her whose lot with thine,
+ Propitious stars saw Truth and Passion twine!
+ Joy be to her who in your rising name
+ Feels Love's bower brighten'd by the beams of Fame!
+ I lack'd a father's claim to her--but knew
+ Regard for her young years so pure and true,
+ That, when she at the altar stood your bride,
+ A sire could scarce have felt more sire-like pride.
+
+
+_T. Campbell_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+The Duc de Laval has the character of being a perfect fool. It is said
+that on one occasion he talked of having received an anonymous letter,
+signed by all the officers of his regiment; that on another, he ordered
+ottomans to be placed in the four corners of his octagon
+saloon!--_Josephine's Memoirs_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CAUSE AND EFFECT.
+
+
+Infinite are the consequences which follow from a single, and often
+apparently a very insignificant circumstance. Paley himself narrowly
+escaped being a baker; here was a decision upon which hung in one scale,
+perhaps, the immortal interests of thousands, and, in the other, the
+gratification of the taste of the good people of Giggleswick for hot
+rolls. Cromwell was near being strangled in his cradle by a monkey; here
+was this wretched ape wielding in his paws the destinies of nations.
+Then, again, how different in their kind, as well as in their magnitude,
+are these consequences from anything that might have been _a priori_
+expected. Henry VIII. is smitten with the beauty of a girl of eighteen;
+and ere long,
+
+
+ "The Reformation beams from Bullen's eyes."
+
+
+Charles Wesley refuses to go with his wealthy namesake to Ireland, and
+the inheritance, which would have been his, goes to build up the
+fortunes of a Wellesley instead of a Wesley; and to this decision of a
+schoolboy (as Mr. Southey observes) Methodism may owe its existence, and
+England its military--and, we trust we may now add, its civil and
+political--glory--_Quarterly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+SERVANTS.
+
+
+A fund has lately been established at Stockholm, from which it is
+intended to reward good and faithful servants. The king has contributed
+to it 1,000 crowns; the prince royal 500; and the princess royal 300.
+This has been suggested as an example worthy of our imitation; many
+legacies, &c. have from time to time been bequeathed for the
+encouragement of faithful servants in England; some are claimed, but the
+majority are shamefully misapplied by those to whom their distribution
+has been entrusted.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LONDON LUXURIES.
+
+
+A capital like London is a Maelstrom--an immense whirlpool--whose
+gyrations sweep in whatever is peculiarly desirable from the most
+distant regions of the empire--so active becomes the love of gain when
+set in motion by the love of luxury. We recollect once being on shipboard
+to the north of Duncan's Bay Head, and out of sight of land, the nearest
+being the Feroe Islands:--we were walking the deck, watching a whale
+which was gamboling at some distance, throwing up his huge side to the
+sun, and sending ever and anon a sheet of water and foam from his
+nostrils. Our thoughts were on Hecla and on the icebergs of the Pole, on
+the Scalds of Iceland and the sea-kings of Norway, when a sail hove in
+sight: we asked what craft it was--and were answered, "a Gravesend brig
+dredging for lobsters." Never was enchantment so effectually
+broken--never stage-trick in pantomime more successfully played off. Scene
+changes from Feroe and Iceland to the Albion in Aldersgate-street--Exeunt
+Scald, champion, and whale--Enter common councilman, turbot, and
+lobster-sauce.--_Quarterly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+THE BEAUTIFUL.
+
+
+To be convinced that, at some period or another of their history, the
+Egyptians had conceived a _beau-ideal_ superior to the beautiful
+which nature habitually produced in their country, we have only to
+examine the young Memnon, at the British Museum, and the heads of many of
+the sphinxes which remain.--_Weekly Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ALGEBRA.
+
+
+Algebra I was charmed with, and found so much pleasure in resolving its
+questions, that I have often sat till morning at the engaging work,
+without a notion of its being day till I opened the shutters of my
+closet. I recommend this study in particular to young gentlemen, and am
+satisfied, if they would but take some pains at first to understand it,
+they would have so great a relish for its operations, as to prefer them
+many an evening to clamorous pleasures; or, at least, not be uneasy for
+being alone now and then, since their algebra was with them.--_Life of
+John Buncle._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A LUCKY MATCH.
+
+
+The late Mr. Locke, of Norbury Park, commissioned one Jenkins, a dealer
+in pictures, residing at Rome, to send him any piece of sculpture which
+might not exceed fifty guineas. Jenkins sent a head of Minerva, which Mr.
+Locke, not liking, returned, paying the carriage, and all other expenses.
+Nollekens, who was then also at Rome, having purchased a trunk of
+Minerva for fifty pounds, upon the return of this head, found that its
+proportion and character accorded with his torso. This discovery induced
+him to accept an offer made by Jenkins of the head itself; and 220
+guineas to share the profits. After Nollekens had joined the head and
+trunk, or, what is called "restored it," which he did at the expense of
+twenty guineas more for stone and labour, it proved a most fortunate hit,
+for they sold it for the enormous sum of 1,000 guineas! and it is now at
+Newby, in Yorkshire.--_Nollekens and his Times._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+NELSON.
+
+
+We received the following little anecdote from a letter of a gentleman
+now at the head of the medical profession, with which he favoured us
+shortly after perusing Salmonia. "I was (says our friend) at the Naval
+Hospital, at Yarmouth, on the morning when Nelson, after the battle of
+Copenhagen (having sent the wounded before him,) arrived at the Roads,
+and landed on the jutty. The populace soon surrounded him, and the
+military were drawn up in the market-place ready to receive him; but
+making his way through the crowd, and the dust, and the clamour, he went
+straight to the hospital. I went round the wards with him, and was much
+interested in observing his demeanour to the sailors; he stopped at every
+bed, and to every man he had something kind and cheering to say. At
+length, he stopped opposite a bed on which a sailor was lying who had
+lost his right arm close to the shoulder-joint, and the following short
+dialogue passed between, them:"--_Nelson_. "Well, Jack, what's the
+matter with you?"--_Sailor_. "Lost my right arm, your honour."--Nelson
+paused, looked down at his own empty sleeve, then at the sailor,
+and said playfully, "Well, Jack, then you and I are spoiled for
+fishermen--cheer up, my brave fellow." And he passed briskly on to the
+next bed; but these few words had a magical effect upon the poor fellow,
+for I saw his eyes sparkle with delight as Nelson turned away and pursued
+his course through the wards. As this was the only occasion on which I
+saw Nelson, I may, possibly, overrate the value of the incident.--_Q.
+Rev._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+THE BRITISH ALMANAC.
+
+
+This work, though only in its second year, is too well known to be
+benefited by our recommendation. As a compilation, with occasional
+originality, it is one of the best executed labours of the Society from
+whom it emanates, and who, from the multiplicity of facts here assembled,
+may be called "The Society for the" _Condensation_ "of Useful
+Knowledge."
+
+In the Almanac for 1829 we notice several improvements upon that of last
+year. The "Remarks on Weather" are valuable; and the "Garden Plants in
+Flower" in each month, in themselves extremely interesting, contrast the
+unchanging course of nature with the grand revolutions and events of the
+column of "Anniversaries." Thus, what different emotions are produced by
+reading April 6, "First Abdication of Bonaparte, 1814," and "Primrose
+Peerless (_Narcissus biflorus_) in flower." The "Useful Remarks,"
+though not a new feature in an almanac, are profitable helps to social
+duties, especially when drawn from such a source as Owen Feltham's
+Resolves--a golden treasury of world-knowledge, which may serve as a
+text-book for every family. Among the useful facts we notice the
+following:--"By a parliamentary return of the year 1828 we find that the
+stamp duty paid upon the almanacs of England amounts to 30,136_l_. 3_s_.
+9_d_.--which, the duty being _fifteen-pence_ upon each almanac, exhibits
+a circulation of 451,593 annually."
+
+_Remarks on Weather._
+
+"The mean temperature of London is about 2 deg. higher than that of the
+surrounding country; the difference exists chiefly in the night, and is
+greatest in winter and least in summer."
+
+"Mr. Howard is of opinion, from a careful comparison of a long series of
+observations, that a wet spring is an indication of a dry time for the
+ensuing harvest."
+
+"The greatest depression of temperature in every month happens, all
+other circumstances being the same, a short time before sun-rise."
+
+"There are only two months, namely, July and August, in which, taking
+into consideration the power of radiation, vegetation, in certain
+situations, is not exposed to a temperature of 32 deg."
+
+"The temperature of August is but little reduced, owing to the prevalence
+of hot nights. The action of the sun's rays is considerably assisted by
+the warm earth which radiates heat into the air; while, in spring, it
+absorbs every day a proportion of the heat which the sun produces."
+
+"_October_--Now that the fruits of the earth are laid in store, the
+increase of wet is attended by no injurious effects, the remaining heat
+of the earth is preserved from needless expenditure, and guarded from
+dissipation, by an increasing canopy of clouds, by which the effect of
+radiation is greatly reduced."
+
+"The comparative warmth of November is owing to the heat given out by
+the condensation of the vapour in the atmosphere into rain."
+
+"The mean temperature of the whole year is not found to vary, in
+different years, more than four degrees and a half."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+Such as hold superstition sweet to the soul, and love to exercise their
+ingenuity in hieroglyphics, the baseless grounds of tea, and lucky dreams
+and omens, will find little amusement in the British Almanac; but their
+absence is more than supplied by information "which almost every man
+engaged in the world requires."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH BOOK.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+A VISION OF PURGATORY.
+
+_By William Maginn, Esq._
+
+
+The churchyard of Inistubber is as lonely a one as you would wish to see
+on a summer's day, or avoid on a winter's night. Under the east window of
+the church is a mouldering vault of the De Lacys,--a branch of a family
+descended from one of the conquerors of Ireland; and there they are
+buried, when the allotted time calls them to the tomb. Sir Theodore De
+Lacy had lived a jolly, thoughtless life, rising early for the hunt, and
+retiring late from the bottle. A good-humoured bachelor who took no care
+about the management of his household, provided that the hounds were in
+order for his going out, and the table ready on his coming in. As for the
+rest,--an easy landlord, a quiet master, a lenient magistrate (except to
+poachers,) and a very excellent foreman of a grand jury. He died one
+evening while laughing at a story which he had heard regularly thrice a
+week for the last fifteen years of his life, and his spirit mingled with
+the claret. In former times when the De Lacys were buried, there was a
+grand breakfast, and all the party rode over to the church to see the
+last rites paid. The keeners lamented; the country people had a wake
+before the funeral, and a dinner after it--and there was an end. But
+with the march of mind comes trouble and vexation. A man has now-a-days
+no certainty of quietness in his coffin--unless it be a patent one. He is
+laid down in the grave, and the next morning finds himself called upon to
+demonstrate an interesting fact! No one, I believe, admires this ceremony,
+and it is not to be wondered at that Sir Theodore De Lacy held it in
+especial horror. "I'd like," said he one evening, "to catch one of the
+thieves coming after me when I'm dead--By the God of War, I'd break every
+bone in his body;--but," he added with a sigh, "as I suppose I'll not be
+able to take my own part then, upon you I leave it, Larry Sweeney, to
+watch me three days and three nights after they plant me under the sod.
+There's Doctor Dickenson there, I see the fellow looking at me--fill your
+glass, Doctor--here's your health! and shoot him, Larry, do you hear,
+shoot the Doctor like a cock, if he ever comes stirring up my poor old
+bones from their roost of Inistubber." "Why, then," Larry answered,
+accepting the glass which followed this command, "long life to both your
+honours; and it's I that would like to be putting a bullet into Doctor
+Dickenson--heaven between him and harm--for hauling your honour away,
+as if you was a horse's head, to a bonfire. There's nothing, I 'shure you,
+gintlemin, poor as I am, that would give me greater pleasure." "We feel
+obliged, Larry" said Sir Theodore, "for your good wishes." "Is it I pull
+you out of the grave, indeed!" continued the whipper-in, for such he was,
+--"I'd let nobody pull your honour out of any place, saving 'twas
+purgatory; and out of that I'd pull you myself, if I saw you going
+_there_." "I am of opinion, Larry," said Doctor Dickenson, "you would
+turn tail if you saw Sir Theodore on that road. You might go further, and
+fare worse, you know." "Turn tail!" replied Larry, "it is I that
+wouldn't--I appale to St. Patrick himself over beyond"--pointing to a
+picture of the Prime Saint of Ireland, which hung in gilt daubery behind
+his master's chair, right opposite to him. To Larry's horror and
+astonishment, the picture fixing its eyes upon him, winked with the most
+knowing air, as if acknowledging the appeal. "What makes you turn so
+white then at the very thought," said the doctor, interpreting the
+visible consternation of our hero in his own way. "Nothing particular,"
+answered Larry; "but a wakeness has come strong over me, gintlemin, and
+if you'd have no objection, I'd like to go into the air for a bit." Leave
+was of course granted, and Larry retired amid the laughter of the
+guests--but as he retreated, he could not avoid casting a glance on the
+awful picture--and again the Saint winked, with a most malicious smile.
+It was impossible to endure the repeated infliction, and Larry rushed
+down the stairs in an agony of fright and amazement. "May be," thought
+he, "it might be my own eyes that wasn't quite steady--or the flame of
+the candle. But no--he winked at me as plain as ever I winked at Judy
+Donaghue of a May morning. What he manes by it I can't say--but there's
+no use of thinking about it--no, nor of talking neither, for who' d
+believe me if I tould them of it?"
+
+The next evening Sir Theodore died, as has been mentioned; and in due
+time thereafter was buried according to the custom of the family, by
+torch-light, in the churchyard of Inistubber. All was fitly performed;
+and although Dickenson had no design upon the jovial knight--and if he
+had not, there was nobody within fifteen miles that could be suspected
+of such an outrage,--yet Larry Sweeney was determined to make good his
+promise of watching his master. "I'd think little of telling a lie to him,
+by the way of no harm when he was alive," said he, wiping his eyes, as
+soon as the last of the train had departed, leaving him with a single
+companion in the lonely cemetery; "but now that he's dead--God rest his
+soul!--I'd scorn it. So Jack Kinaley, as behoves my first cousin's son,
+stay you with me here this blessed night, for betune (between) you and I,
+it an't lucky to stay by one's self in this ruinated old rookery, where
+ghosts, God help us, is as thick as bottles in Sir Theodore's cellar!"
+"Never you mind that, Larry," said Kinaley, a discharged soldier, who had
+been through all the campaigns of the Peninsula; "never mind, I say, such
+botherations. Han't I lain in bivouack on the field at Salamanca, and
+Tallawara, and the Pyrumnees, and many another place beside, where there
+was dead corpses lying about in piles, and there was no more ghosts than
+kneebuckles in a ridgemint of Highlanders. Here, let me prime them pieces,
+and hand us over the bottle; we'll stay snug under this east window, for
+the wind's coming down the hill, and I defy"--"None of that bould talk,
+Jack," said his cousin; "as for what ye saw in foreign parts, of dead men
+killed afighting, sure that's nothing to the dead--God rest 'em!--that's
+here. There you see, they had company one with the other, and being
+killed fresh-like that morning, had no heart to stir; but here, faith!
+'tis a horse of another colour." "May be it is," said Jack, "but the
+night's coming on; so I'll turn in. Wake me if you sees any thing; and
+after I've got my two hours' rest, I'll relieve you."
+
+With these words the soldier turned on his side, under shelter of a grave,
+and as his libations had been rather copious during the day, it was not
+long before he gave audible testimony that the dread of supernatural
+visitants had had no effect in disturbing the even current of his fancy.
+Although Larry had not opposed the proposition of his kinsman, yet he
+felt by no means at ease. He put in practice all the usually recommended
+nostrums for keeping away unpleasant thoughts:--all would not do. "If it
+was a common, dacent, quite (quiet,) well-behaved churchyard a'self,"
+thought Larry, half-aloud--"but when 'tis a place like this forsaken ould
+berrin'-ground, which is noted for villiany"--"For what, Larry?" said a
+gentleman, stepping out of a niche which contained the only statue time
+had spared. It was the figure of Saint Colman, to whom the church was
+dedicated. Larry had been looking at the figure, as it shone forth in
+ebon and ivory in the light and shadow of the now high-careering moon,
+"For what, Larry," said the gentleman,--"for what do you say the
+churchyard is noted?" "For nothing at all, plase your honour," replied
+Larry, "except the height of gentility." The stranger was about four feet
+high, dressed in what might be called flowing garments,--if, in spite of
+their form, their rigidity did not deprive them of all claim to such an
+appellation. He wore an antique mitre upon his head; his hands were
+folded upon his breast; and over his right shoulder rested a pastoral
+crook. There was a solemn expression in his countenance, and his eye
+might truly be called stony. His beard could not be well said to wave
+upon his bosom; but it lay upon it in ample profusion, stiffer than that
+of a Jew on a frosty morning after mist. In short, as Larry soon
+discovered to his horror, on looking up at the niche, it was no other
+than Saint Colman himself, who had stept forth, indignant (in all
+probability) at the stigma cast by the watcher of the dead on the
+churchyard of which his Saintship was patron. He smiled with a grisly
+solemnity--just such a smile as you might imagine would play round the
+lips of a milestone (if it had any,) at the recantation so quickly
+volunteered by Larry. "Well," said he, "Lawrence Sweeney"--"How well the
+old rogue," thought Larry, "knows my name!" "Since you profess yourself
+such an admirer of the merits of the churchyard of Inistubber, get up and
+follow me, till I show you the civilities of the place--for I am master
+here, and must do the honours." "Willingly would I go with your worship,"
+replied our friend; "but you see here I am engaged to Sir Theodore, who,
+though a good master, was a mighty passionate man when every thing was
+not done as he ordered it; and I am feared to stir." "Sir Theodore," said
+the Saint, "will not blame you for following me. I assure you he will
+not." "But then," said Larry--"Follow me!" cried the Saint, in a hollow
+voice, and casting upon him his stony eye, drew poor Larry after him, as
+the bridal guest was drawn by the lapidary glance of the Ancient Mariner;
+or, as Larry himself afterwards expressed it, "as a jaw tooth is wrinched
+out of an ould woman with a pair of pinchers." The Saint strode before
+him in silence, not in the least incommoded by the stones and rubbish,
+which at every step sadly contributed to the discomfiture of Larry's
+shins, who followed his marble conductor into a low vault, situated at
+the west end of the church. The path lay through coffins piled up on each
+side of the way in various degrees of decomposition; and, excepting that
+the solid footsteps of the saintly guide, as they smote heavily on the
+floor of stone, broke the deadly silence, all was still. Stumbling and
+staggering along, directed only by the casual glimpses of light afforded
+by the moon, where it broke through the dilapidated roof of the vault,
+and served to discover only sights of woe, Larry followed. He soon felt
+that he was descending, and could not help wondering at the length of the
+journey. He began to entertain the most unpleasant suspicions as to the
+character of his conductor;--but what could he do? Flight was out of the
+question, and to think of resistance was absurd. "Needs must, they say,"
+thought he to himself, "when the devil drives. I see it's much the same
+when a saint, leads."
+
+At last the dolorous march had an end; and not a little to Larry's
+amazement, he found that his guide had brought him to the gate of a lofty
+hall, before which a silver lamp, filled with naphtha, "yielded light as
+from a sky."--From within loud sounds of merriment were ringing; and it
+was evident, from the jocular harmony and the tinkling of glasses, that
+some subterraneous catch-club were not idly employed over the bottle.
+"Who's there?" said a porter, roughly responding to the knock of Saint
+Colman. "Be so good," said the Saint, mildly, "my very good fellow, as to
+open the door without further questions, or I'll break your head. I'm
+bringing a gentleman here on a visit, whose business is pressing." "May
+be so," thought Larry, "but what that business may be, is more than I can
+tell." The porter sulkily complied with the order, after having
+apparently communicated the intelligence that a stranger was at hand; for
+a deep silence immediately followed the tipsy clamour; and Larry,
+sticking close to his guide, whom he now looked upon almost as a friend,
+when compared with these underground revellers to whom he was about to
+be introduced, followed him through a spacious vestibule, which gradually
+sloped into a low-arched room, where the company was assembled. And a
+strange-looking company it was. Seated round a long table were
+three-and-twenty grave and venerable personages, bearded, mitred, stoled,
+and croziered,--all living statues of stone, like the Saint who had
+walked out of his niche. On the drapery before them were figured the
+images of the sun, moon, and stars--the inexplicable bear--the mystic
+temple, built by the hand of Hiram--and other symbols, of which the
+uninitiated knew nothing. The square, the line, the trowel, were not
+wanting, and the hammer was lying in front of the chair. Labour, however,
+was over, and the time for refreshment having arrived, each of the stony
+brotherhood had a flagon before him; and when we mention that the Saints
+were Irish, and that St. Patrick in person was in the chair, it is not to
+be wondered at that the mitres, in some instances, hung rather loosely on
+the side of the heads of some of the canonized compotators. Among the
+company were found St. Senanus of Limerick, St. Declan of Ardmore, St.
+Canice of Kilkenny, St. Finbar of Cork, St. Michan of Dublin, St. Brandon
+of Kerry, St. Fachnan of Ross, and others of that holy brotherhood; a
+vacant place, which completed the four-and-twentieth, was left for St.
+Colman, who, as every body knows, is of Cloyne; and he, having taken his
+seat, addressed the president, to inform him that he had brought the man.
+The man (viz. Larry himself) was awestruck with the company in which he
+so unexpectedly found himself; and trembled all over when, on the notice
+of his guide, the eight-and-forty eyes of stone were turned directly upon
+himself. "You have just nicked the night to a shaving, Larry," said St.
+Patrick: "this is our chapter-night, and myself and brethren are here
+'assembled on merry occasion.'--You know who I am?" "God bless your
+reverence," said Larry, "it's I that do well. Often did I see your
+picture hanging over the door of places where it is"--lowering his
+voice--"pleasanter to be than here, buried under an ould church." "You
+may as well say it out, Larry," said St. Patrick; "and don't think I'm
+going to be angry with you about it; for I was once flesh and blood
+myself. But you remember, the other night, saying that you would think
+nothing of pulling your master out of purgatory, if you could get at him
+there, and appealing to me to stand by your words.
+
+"Y-e-e-s," said Larry, most mournfully; for he recollected the
+significant look he had received from the picture. "And," continued St.
+Patrick, "you remember also that I gave you a wink, which you know is as
+good, any day, as a nod--at least, to a blind horse." "I'm sure, your
+reverence," said Larry, with a beating heart, "is too much of a gintleman
+to hould a poor man hard to every word he may say of an evening, and
+therefore"--"I was thinking so," said the saint, "I guessed you'd prove a
+poltroon when put to the push. What do you think, my brethren, I should
+do to this fellow?" A hollow sound burst from the bosoms of the unanimous
+assembly. The verdict was short and decisive:--"Knock out his brains!" And
+in order to suit the action to the word, the whole four-and-twenty arose
+at once, and with their immovable eyes fixed firmly on the face of our
+hero--who horror struck with the sight as he was, could not close
+his--they began to glide slowly but regularly towards him, bending their
+line into the form of a crescent, so as to environ him on all sides. In
+vain he fled to the door; its massive folds resisted mortal might. In
+vain he cast his eyes around in quest of a loophole of retreat--there was
+none. Closer and closer pressed on the slowly-moving phalanx, and the
+uplifted croziers threatened soon to put their sentence into execution.
+Supplication was all that remained--and Larry sunk upon his knees. "Ah!
+then," said he, "gintlemin and ancient ould saints as you are, don't kill
+the father of a large small family, who never did hurt to you or yours.
+Sure, if 'tis your will that I should go to--no matter who, for there's
+no use in naming his name--might I not as well make up my mind to go
+there, alive and well, stout and hearty, and able to face him,--as with
+my head knocked into bits, as if I had been after a fair or a patthern?"
+"You say right," said St. Patrick, checking with a motion of his crozier
+the advancing assailants, who returned to their seats. "I am glad to see
+you coming to reason. Prepare for your journey." "And how, plase your
+Saintship, am I to go?" asked Larry. "Why," said St. Patrick, "as Colman
+here has guided you so far, he may guide you further. But as the journey
+is into foreign parts, where you arn't likely to be known, you had better
+take this letter of introduction, which may be of use to you." "And here,
+also, Lawrence," said a Dublin Saint--perhaps Michan--"take you this box
+also, and make use of it as he to whom you speak shall suggest." "Take a
+hold, and a firm one," said St. Colman, "Lawrence, of my cassock, and we'
+ll start." "All right behind?" cried St. Patrick. "All right!" was the
+reply. In an instant!--vault--table--saints--bell--church, faded into air;
+a rustling hiss of wings was all that was heard; and Larry felt his cheek
+swept by a current, as if a covey of birds of enormous size were passing
+him. (It was, in all probability, the flight of the saints returning to
+heaven, but on that point nothing certain has reached us up to the
+present time of writing.) He had not a long time to wonder at the
+phenomenon, for he himself soon began to soar, dangling in mid sky at the
+skirt of the cassock of his sainted guide. Earth, and all that appertains
+thereto, speedily passed from his eyes, and they were alone in the midst
+of circumfused ether, glowing with a sunless light. Above, in immense
+distance, was fixed the firmament, fastened up with bright stars, fencing
+around the world with its azure wall. They fled far, before any
+distinguishable object met their eyes. At length a long, white streak,
+shining like silver in the moonbeam, was visible to their sight. "That,"
+said St. Colman, "is the Limbo which adjoins the earth, and is the
+highway for ghosts departing the world. It is called in Milton, a book
+which I suppose, Larry, you never have read"--"And how could I, plase
+your worship," said Larry, "seein' I don't know a B from a bull's foot!"
+"Well, it is called in Milton the Paradise of Fools: and if it were indeed
+peopled by all of that tribe who leave the world, it would contain the
+best company that ever figured on the earth. To the north, you see a
+bright speck?" "I do." "That marks the upward path,--narrow and hard to
+find. To the south you may see a darksome road--broad, smooth, and easy
+of descent; that is the lower way. It is thronged with the great ones of
+the world; you may see their figures in the gloom. Those who are soaring
+upwards are wrapt in the flood of light flowing perpetually from that
+single spot, and you cannot see them. The silver path on which we enter
+is the Limbo. Here I part with you. You are to give your letter to the
+first person you meet. Do your best;--be courageous, but observe
+particularly that you profane no holy name, or I will not answer for the
+consequences."
+
+His guide had scarcely vanished, when Larry heard the tinkling of a bell
+in the distance, and turning his eyes in the quarter whence it proceeded,
+he saw a grave-looking man in black, with eyes of fire, driving before
+him a flock of ghosts with a switch, as you see turkeys driven on the
+western road, at the approach of Christmas. They were on the highway to
+Purgatory. The ghosts were shivering in the thin air, which pinched them
+severely, now that they had lost the covering of their bodies. Among the
+group, Larry recognised his old master, by the same means that Ulysses,
+Aeneas, and others, recognised the bodiless forms of their friends in the
+regions of Acheron. "What brings a living person," said the man in black,
+"on this pathway? I shall make legal capture of you, Larry Sweeney, for
+trespassing. You have no business here." "I have come," said Larry,
+plucking up courage, "to bring your honour's glory a letter from a
+company of gintlemin with whom I had the pleasure of spending the evening,
+underneath the ould church of Inistubber." "A letter," said the man in
+black, "where is it?" "Here, my lord," said Larry. "Ho!" cried the black
+gentleman, on opening it, "I know the handwriting. It won't do, however,
+my lad,--I see they want to throw dust in my eyes." "Whew," thought Larry,
+"that's the very thing. 'Tis for that the ould Dublin boy gave me the box.
+I'd lay a tinpenny to a brass farthing that it's filled with Lundy Foot."
+Opening the box, therefore, he flung its contents right into the fiery
+eyes of the man in black, while he was still occupied with reading the
+letter,--and the experiment was successful. "Curses--tche-tche-tche,--
+Curses on it," exclaimed he, clapping his hand before his eyes, and
+sneezing most lustily.--"Run, you villians, run," cried Larry, to the
+ghosts--"run, you villians, now that his eyes are off of you--O master,
+master! Sir Theodore, jewel! run to the right-hand side, make for the
+bright speck, and God give you luck."
+
+He had forgotten his injunction. The moment the word was uttered he felt
+the silvery ground sliding from under him; and with the swiftness of
+thought he found himself on the flat of his back, under the very niche of
+the old church wall whence he had started, dizzy and confused with a
+measureless tumble. The emancipated ghosts floated in all directions,
+emitting their shrill and stridulous cries in the gleaming expanse. Some
+were again gathered by their old conductor; some scudding about at
+random, took the right hand path, others the left. Into which of them Sir
+Theodore struck, is not recorded; but as he had heard the direction, let
+us hope that he made the proper choice. Larry had not much time given him
+to recover from his fall, for almost in an instant he heard an angry
+snorting rapidly approaching, and looking up, whom should he see but the
+gentleman in black, with eyes gleaming more furiously than ever, and his
+horns (for, in his haste, he had let his hat fall) relieved in strong
+shadow against the moon. Up started Larry--away ran his pursuer after him.
+The safest refuge was, of course, the church,--thither ran our hero--and
+after him--fiercer than the shark, swifter than the hounds--fled the
+black gentleman. The church is cleared; the chancel entered; and the hot
+breath of his pursuer glows upon the outstretched neck of Larry. Escape
+is impossible--the extended talons of the fiend have clutched him by the
+hair. "You are mine," cried the demon,--"if I have lost any of my flock,
+I have at last got you." "Oh, St. Patrick!" exclaimed our hero, in horror,
+--"Oh, St. Patrick have mercy upon me, and save me!" "I tell you what,
+cousin Larry," said Kinaley, chucking him up from behind a gravestone,
+where he had fallen--"all the St. Patricks that ever were born would not
+have saved you from ould Tom Picton, if he caught you sleeping on your
+post as I've caught you now. By the word of an ould soldier, he'd have
+had the provost-marshal upon you, and I'd not give two-pence for the loan
+of your life. And then, too, I see you have drunk every drop in the
+bottle. What can you say for yourself?" "Nothing at all," said Larry,
+scratching his head,--"but it was an unlucky dream, and I'm glad it's
+over."--_Literary Souvenir._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+Ancient Roman Festivals.
+
+NOVEMBER.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The _Epulum Jovis_ was a sumptuous feast offered to Jupiter on the
+13th of November. The gods were formally invited, and attended; for the
+statues were brought in rich beds, furnished with soft pillows, called
+_pulvinaria_. Thus accommodated, their godships were placed on their
+couches at the most honourable part of the table, and served with the
+rich dainties, as if they were able to eat; but the _epulones_, or
+ministers, who had the care and management of the feast, performed that
+function for them, and no doubt did the part of _gastronomic proxies_
+with _eclat_.
+
+The _Brumalia_ was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among the Romans
+during the space of thirty days, commencing on the 24th of November. It
+was instituted by Romulus, who used, during this time, to entertain the
+senate. During this feast indications were taken of the felicity of the
+remaining part of the winter.
+
+P.T.W.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+The Gatherer.
+
+
+ "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+INNOCENT CONFESSION.
+
+
+A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused herself of
+using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the confessor. "I do it to
+make myself handsomer."--"And does it produce that effect?" "At least
+I think so, father."--The confessor on this took his penitent out of the
+confessional, and having looked at her attentively in the light, said,
+"Well, madam, you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+MERCHANT TAILORS.
+
+
+A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the Merchant Tailors'
+motto, "_Concordia parvae res crescunt_" replied, "Yes, that is to
+say, nine tailors make a man."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+RABELAIS.
+
+A JEU D'ESPRIT.
+
+
+ In France they say
+ Lived RABELAIS,
+ A witty wight, and a right merry fellow.
+ Who in good company was sometimes mellow:
+ And,
+ Although he was a priest,
+ Thought it no sacramental sin--to feast.
+ I can't say much for his morality:
+ But for his immortality,
+ Good luck!
+ Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards,
+ And scarcely a good library's shelf
+ But boasts acquaintance with the elf.
+ But now I'll tell you what I should have told before,
+ A grievous illness brought him nigh _Death's_ door.
+ Who, bony wight,
+ Enjoyed the sight--
+ And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be
+ When the jester had joined his company.
+
+ Rab's friends, good folk!
+ Thought it no joke
+ To the poor joker; they therefore sent around
+ For all the Esculapians to be found;
+ And in a trice
+ (For doctors always haste to give advice--
+ Mind--don't mistake--I mean when there's a fee)
+ They mustered two--to which add three.
+
+ Now about the bed
+ Is seen each learned head.
+ The patient's pulse is felt--with graver air
+ Each M.D. seats him in a chair.
+ Crosses his legs--leans on his stick, mums--hahs--and hums
+ Pulls out his watch--takes snuff--and twirls his thumbs.
+ At length,
+ The awful stillness broke--
+ As if from silence gathering strength
+ Most lustily they all did croak,
+ Their opinions mingling,
+ In discordant jingling--
+ "A purge"--"a blister"--"shave his head"
+ "Senna and salts"--"a clyster"--"have him bled,"
+ "A pill at noon"--"another pill at night,"
+ "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right."
+ Thus with purges and blisters,
+ Pills, bleeding, and clysters,
+ The poor patient they threatened
+ Should be deluged and sweatened.
+
+ Unable to endure the riot,
+ And wishing for a little quiet,
+ The sickman raised his head,
+ And said--
+ Gentlemen, I do beseech ye, cease your pother,
+ Nor any more with me your wise heads bother,
+ Scratching your wigs,
+ Like sapient pigs;
+ Whate'er you may decide is my disease,
+ I humbly do conceive a little ease
+ From your infernal noise and chatter.
+ With which I'm dunn'd
+ And nearly stunn'd,
+ Would greatly tend to mend the matter;
+ And if, perforce, I must resign my breath,
+ For heav'n's sake let me _die_ a NATURAL _death_.
+
+
+P.M.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+AN AGITATOR.
+
+
+M. Monchenut, an old man of eighty, afflicted with the palsy, was
+arrested during the reign of terror, under suspicion of being an agitator.
+Being asked what he had to say to the accusation, "Alas, gentlemen, it is
+very true, I am agitated enough, God knows, for I have not been able to
+keep a limb still for these fifteen years."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+CHINESE POLITENESS.
+
+
+There is one striking particular in which the Chinese politeness is quite
+the reverse of ours. To take off their caps when they salute one another,
+or even accidentally to appear uncovered, is esteemed the height of ill
+breeding and indecency.
+
+HALBERT H.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets are
+informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and may be purchased
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+procured by giving an order to any Bookseller or Newsvender.
+
+Complete sets Vol. I. to XI. in boards, price L2. l9_s_. 6_d_. half bound,
+L3. l7_s_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS.
+
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+
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+
+The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.
+
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+
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+
+COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d boards.
+
+COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.
+
+The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD DISPLAYED Price 5s.
+boards.
+
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+
+The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+
+
+Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+
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+
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+
+BACON'S ESSAYS Price 8d.
+
+SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+_Printed and Published by J. LAMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset House.)
+London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all
+Newsmen and Booksellers._
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT,
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