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+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828, by Various</title>
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+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 ***</div>
+<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 342, November 22, 1828, by Various</h1>
+<br />
+<br />
+<center><b>E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Allen Siddle, David Garcia,<br />
+ and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team</b></center>
+<br />
+<br />
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page337" name="page337"></a>[pg
+ 337]</span>
+ <h1>
+ THE MIRROR<br />
+ OF<br />
+ LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+ </h1>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <table width="100%" summary="Banner">
+ <tr>
+ <td align="left">
+ <b>VOL. XII, NO. 342.]</b>
+ </td>
+ <td align="center">
+ <b>SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1828.</b>
+ </td>
+ <td align="right">
+ <b>[PRICE 2d.</b>
+ </td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
+ <a href="images/342-1.png"><img width="100%"
+ src="images/342-1.png"
+ alt="Council office, etc. Whitehall." /></a>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page338" name="page338"></a>[pg
+ 338]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ COUNCIL OFFICE, &amp;c. WHITEHALL.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ From the Druids' Temple, at Abury, (our last engraving,) to
+ the Council Office, at Whitehall, is a long stride in the
+ march of time. From "grave to gay, and lively to severe," is
+ nothing to it; but variety is the public dictum; and with
+ more sincerity than the courtier in <i>Tom Thumb</i>, we say
+ to the public,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "Whate'er your majesty shall please to name,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Long cut or short cut, to us' tis all the same."
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ On the annexed page is represented the new splendid range of
+ buildings, including the <i>Council Office</i>, <i>Board of
+ Trade</i>, &amp;c. at Whitehall. The architect, Mr. Soane,
+ has adapted the fa&ccedil;ade from the Temple of Jupiter
+ Stator, at Rome.<a id="footnotetag1"
+ name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But Mr. Soane's adaptation has been only partial, and he has
+ adhered merely to the details of the columns and entablature.
+ "The fa&ccedil;ade," it is well observed in an early Number
+ of the <i>Athenaeum</i>, "enjoys one of the most favourable
+ sites for the display of a public building which the
+ metropolis affords; no limit has been set to the expense; the
+ finest materials the country yields have been used in its
+ construction; the richest example of the richest order which
+ antiquity has left us, has been lavishly employed in its
+ decoration; and yet," continues the critic, "is not the whole
+ a failure?" He then describes the effect of it as "poor, or
+ at best but pretty," and attributes the absence of grandeur
+ to the "want of sufficient elevation."&mdash;"To the general
+ elevation it may be objected, that it has no prominent
+ centre; that, composed of two wings and an intermediate space
+ receding, it has more the character of a flank than a front
+ building; and that the want of a central entrance derogates
+ greatly from its dignity as a principal fa&ccedil;ade."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But we are mere amateurs in these matters, and it will be as
+ well to leave the remainder of this criticism to the more
+ studious reader. We have, however, glanced at the principal
+ defects which the writer in the <i>Athenaeum</i> points out,
+ and we are bound to admit the justice of his remarks. The
+ details which produce this effect would not be so generally
+ interesting. "The order itself," says he, "it must be
+ admitted, is well copied, and excellently executed;" but Mr.
+ Soane's application of it is loudly censured&mdash;a Roman
+ temple being inappropriate for a British Council Office.
+ Perhaps our critic would have preferred a fa&ccedil;ade like
+ that of the Palais de Justice at Paris,&mdash;a platform,
+ ascended by an immense flight of steps, which serves as a
+ basement for a projecting body of four Doric columns; with
+ four large pedestals in front, and statues of
+ <i>Strength</i>, <i>Plenty</i>, <i>Justice</i>, and
+ <i>Prudence</i>, as the cardinal virtues of English
+ legislation and trade.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Upon the whole, we cannot help thinking some of the details
+ of this new range extremely rich and pleasing, although we
+ assent to the above character of their general effect. The
+ columns, of fluted Corinthian, and the cornice of the order,
+ are to us very beautiful; but the upper windows are
+ unsightly, or, as a wag would say, purely attic; and the
+ entrances are too strictly <i>official</i> for the
+ architecture of the building. This brings us again to the
+ inappropriateness of the adaptation, which made these
+ introductions unavoidable.<a id="footnotetag2"
+ name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The front of the building is not completed, the northern wing
+ having yet to be erected. When this is finished, the effect
+ may be materially assisted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ While we are in this quarter, and lest "we may never come
+ again," it may be as well to thank our correspondent, "An
+ Architect," for his letter on "Whitehall," a very small
+ portion of which has ever been completed. What has been
+ finished&mdash;the Banqueting House&mdash;is one of the
+ triumphs of Inigo Jones, but like all human works, is sadly
+ dilapidated; although this is attributable to the bad
+ material, rather than to the interval since its erection. The
+ <i>whole</i> was, indeed, a magnificent design.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CROMLECH.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>To the Editor of the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In No. 328 of the MIRROR, you mistake in spelling
+ <i>cromlech</i>; the last syllable is always written
+ <i>lech</i>, not <i>leh</i>; neither is it derived from
+ <i>crom</i> and <i>leac</i>, the Irish, but from <i>crom</i>
+ and <i>llech</i>, the Celtic, of which the Irish is the most
+ corrupted, and the present Welsh the most pure dialect.
+ <i>Llech</i> signifies a stone in Welsh, and is pronounced in
+ a way peculiar to the Welsh; when simple it is <i>llech</i>,
+ when compounded <i>lech</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ RUPERT C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page339" name="page339"></a>[pg
+ 339]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ GARDEN OF HYACINTHS
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ IN THE SERAGLIO, CONSTANTINOPLE.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror.</i>)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In this garden the sultan passes most of his leisure hours,
+ free from the outward parade attendant on his rank. It is
+ small, but tastefully disposed in oblong beds, edged with
+ fine porcelain; no plant is allowed to grow in it except the
+ hyacinth; whence the name of the garden and the apartment it
+ contains. Nothing can be more beautiful than the interior;
+ three sides are formed by a divan, the cushions and pillows
+ of which were of black satin, exquisitely embroidered. The
+ floor was covered with Gobelin tapestry, and the ceiling
+ magnificently gilded and burnished. Opposite the windows of
+ the chamber was a fire-place, in the European manner; and on
+ each side a door, covered with hangings of crimson cloth.
+ Between each of these doors appeared a glass-case, containing
+ the sultan's private library; every volume was in manuscript,
+ with the name written on the edges of the leaves. Opposite
+ the doors and fire-place hung three gold cages, containing
+ artificial birds, which sang by mechanism. On one side was a
+ raised bench, on which was placed an embroidered towel, a
+ splendid vase, and basin for washing the hands and beard;
+ upon the wall over it was suspended an embroidered portfolio,
+ worked with silver on yellow leather, to contain the
+ petitions presented to the sultan when he goes in procession
+ to the mosque. Close to the door was placed a pair of yellow
+ boots and slippers, which are always at the entrance of every
+ apartment frequented by the sultan. Groups of arms, such as
+ pistols, sabres, and poniards, were displayed with great
+ taste and effect on the compartments of the walls; the
+ handles were covered with diamonds and jewels of large size,
+ which, as they glittered around, gave an almost dazzling
+ brilliancy to this sumptuous chamber, thus characterizing the
+ amusements of the man when divested of the ceremony and
+ formality of the sultan.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ INA.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ NEEDLE-WORK ALTAR-PIECE.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <i>(For the Mirror.)</i>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The town of Welwyn, Hertfordshire, was the last place of
+ residence of Dr. Young, author of "Night Thoughts," where he
+ was rector. His pious lady employed her leisure hours with
+ her needle, in the completion of a most elegant altar-piece,
+ which now embellishes the sacramental table in the church;
+ and, through the care of the parish clerk, this specimen of
+ the indefatigable mind of Mrs. Young has been surprisingly
+ preserved. The words down the centre,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ I AM
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THE BREAD
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ OF
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ LIFE,
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ have the appearance of being the production of a most
+ masterly pencil; and the word "life" is in as fine a state of
+ preservation as on the day when it was first presented by the
+ benevolent artist; every tint, including the light and shade
+ which surround the word, having withstood the ravages of
+ time, and been ingeniously preserved by a kind of gauze
+ covering.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ W.G.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LOCUSTS AND WILD HONEY.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It has not been till lately that any of the travellers into
+ Palestine have told what was meant by the locusts mentioned
+ by St. Matthew as part of the food of John the Baptist. Dr.
+ Clarke first related, that a tree grows in the Holy Land,
+ which is called the locust tree, and produces an eatable
+ fruit; but this fact was well known to many who had been in
+ the Mediterranean. The tree grows in several of the countries
+ which border that sea. It has been found in much greater
+ abundance in some parts of the East Indies, whence it has now
+ become an article of export. Many thousands of its pods are
+ annually imported by the East India Company; and, either
+ because the fruit is richer in more southern climates, or for
+ some other reason, a great quantity of them are shipped for
+ Venice and Trieste, where there is distilled from them a
+ liquor, which is supposed to be an antidote to the plague, or
+ at least useful in curing it. These pods are about twenty
+ inches long, and from half to three-quarters of an inch in
+ diameter. We call them pods for want of a term which would
+ more accurately describe them; but they are not flat, neither
+ have they that sort of hinge on one side, and slight
+ fastening on the other, which plainly show how the shells of
+ peas and beans are to be opened. On the contrary, these are
+ round; but there are two opposite lines along them, where the
+ colour alone would induce any one to suppose the skin to be,
+ as it is, thinner than elsewhere. Having the fruit before us
+ only in a dry state, we can describe it in no other; but at
+ present a knife could scarcely be made to penetrate the
+ thicker part, and does not very easily make its way into the
+ thinner. The fruit, which lies in little cells within, is a
+ pulp, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page340"
+ name="page340"></a>[pg 340]</span> or paste, somewhat like
+ that of tamarinds, but smoother, and not so sweet. There are
+ pips in it nearly as hard, and about half as large, as those
+ of a tamarind, containing a kernel in each. It should be
+ added, that in the stems of this locust tree wild bees still
+ deposit their honey.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ W.G.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ FLOWERS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>To the Editor of the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On reading the MIRROR, No. 337, my attention was attracted to
+ one of your many pleasant and amusing extracts from the
+ "Public Journals," bearing the title of "Flowers." Being
+ myself a great admirer of that beautiful and delightful part
+ of creation, I was led to peruse the article with somewhat
+ increased attention. In all ages flowers have been regarded
+ with peculiar sympathy; they have been associated with the
+ calm serenity of virtue; they have been strewed around the
+ altars of devotion; have been made to accompany the lonely,
+ unobtrusive works of merit; and hung around the grave of
+ faded and departed innocence, thus silently, but powerfully,
+ depicting virtue, the essence of felicity. Although I do not
+ consider you to be accountable for statements contained in
+ the articles extracted from other journals, still I presume
+ you would not knowingly make your work the vehicle of any
+ matter which would lead your readers astray. I have,
+ therefore, ventured to call your attention to a particular
+ part of the above article, and to correct what I presume to
+ be a misstatement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the article alluded to, the writer states, "It has been
+ said that flowers placed in bed-rooms are not wholesome; that
+ cannot," he remarks, "be meant of such as are in a state of
+ vegetation," &amp;c.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Now plants, it is well known, respire similarly to animals,
+ through the pores of their leaves. By the agency of the sun,
+ during the day, a quantity of pure gas, called oxygen, is
+ given out; but on the contrary, during the night, or absence
+ of the sun, gas of a most noxious and pernicious nature is
+ emitted, and at the same time a portion of the pure air
+ (oxygen gas) is absorbed. The greater part of the atmosphere
+ must therefore be impregnated with this deleterious gas.
+ Taking into consideration the confined state of a
+ bed-chamber, the great increase of perspiration of the body,
+ with the continual increase of carbonic gas from respiration,
+ and this in an apartment where every thing <i>ought</i> most
+ sedulously to be avoided which in the least tends to
+ deteriorate the atmosphere, it must be evident the practice
+ ought to be avoided, if we are desirous of preserving health.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Flowers in a state of vegetation are, I consider, more
+ pernicious <i>at night</i>, or during the absence of the sun,
+ than those plucked and put into water, provided they be not
+ immersed too long a time; for immediately the stem is severed
+ from the plant, the vital action, if it may be so termed,
+ ceases, and decomposition commences; but till the
+ decomposition has been going on some time, nothing of a
+ pernicious nature need be apprehended. In like manner,
+ directly the vital principle becomes extinct in animals,
+ decomposition ensues. For the space of five or six days,
+ however, no perceptible alteration of the fibres is visible;
+ but after that time a compound of gases begins to exhale from
+ the body, accompanied with a fetid odour, till the parts are
+ entirely decomposed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The effluvium arising from the <i>farina</i> and
+ <i>petals</i> is considered unwholesome, however agreeable it
+ may be to the senses, whether the plant be in a state of
+ vegetation or not, it being too powerful for the olfactory
+ nerve.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ S.S.T.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our pages are always open to the correction of our readers,
+ and in this instance we thank <i>S.S.T.</i> for the above,
+ although we think he has misconceived some portion of the
+ article on "Flowers," the writer adding to that passage
+ quoted by our correspondent, "<i>provided fresh air is
+ frequently introduced</i>"; of course, he does not refer to
+ the <i>night-time</i>, although it would have been clearer,
+ had he suggested the removal of flowers from bed-rooms during
+ the night.&mdash;ED.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CIRCULAR TEMPLES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These structures are generally supposed to have been built
+ with astronomical allusions, especially the noble temple at
+ <i>Stonehenge</i>. Circular temples existed among the
+ Israelites. In Exodus, c. xxiv. v. 4, it is written that
+ "Moses rose up early in the morning, and builded an altar
+ under the hill, and twelve pillars." Again in Joshua, iv. 9,
+ Joshua set up twelve stones; and it is well worthy of remark,
+ that the twelve pillars of Moses and Joshua correspond with
+ the number of stones of the inner circles at Abury. It is
+ possible that these stones were plastered over, and probably
+ highly ornamented, as in Deuteronomy, xxvii. 2, we read,
+ "Thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaster them with
+ plaster;" and there is a large, upright stone in Ireland,
+ which, according to the legend of the country, was once
+ covered over with gold. On some of these
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page341" name="page341"></a>[pg
+ 341]</span> pillars it is likewise probable that certain
+ characters were traced, as among the Israelites words of the
+ law were written upon similar obelisks or columns.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The earliest temples in Greece were formed of obeliscal
+ columns; and in some parts of Africa the custom obtains to
+ this day. Hence the pillars of our present temples are the
+ most ancient; and subsequent builders of holy sanctuaries
+ filled up the intercolumniations till the temples were
+ constructed as we now see their ruins in Athens and
+ elsewhere. But many of the early temples were round; and it
+ is a curious fact, hitherto unnoticed, I believe, that the
+ altar end, the sanctum of our earliest Saxon churches, is
+ circular.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ JAMES SILVESTER.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ ST. OLAVE.&mdash;A MANX LEGEND.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Magnus, King of Norway, having committed sacrilege, by
+ opening the grave of St. Olave, he was commanded by the
+ spirit of the offended saint to perform the voluntary penance
+ of quitting the kingdom in thirty days. He obeyed this
+ intimation, and immediately left Norway. Having conquered
+ many of the Western Isles, at length he established himself
+ in the Isle of Man. Afterwards attempting the reduction of
+ Ireland, he was surrounded by the natives and slain, with the
+ whole of his followers.]
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Olave, of rocky Norway's saints, the holiest and the
+ best,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Entomb'd in tumulus, enjoys a calm and peerless rest;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By all of heav'ns votaries in saintly rank renown'd,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As high in blessedness, and chief in holy missal crown'd.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ The dead&mdash;in holy, stilly peace, the sacred dead
+ repose,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Afar from earth's turmoil and grief, and all of sick'ning
+ woes;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From racking pain, and withering pride, and avarice's
+ care,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Secure they rest in solitude, unaw'd by sin or snare.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ To sack the gloomy sepulchre of lately living clay,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From cheerful day and life remov'd, by dreaded death
+ away,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Is crime indeed of blackest hue, deserving exile's fate,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From native climes ordain'd to feel an outlaw's dreary
+ state.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Could Norway's priest-despising chief, deem sacrilege a
+ crime
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Fitting for absolution,&mdash;or dark penance of set time
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That daring such all dreaded sin, he gazes on the grave,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And tramples o'er the hallow'd dust of canoniz'd Olave.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Lone sepulchre in holy earth&mdash;sure wickedness so
+ dire,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of holy man, and sacred place, incenses heaven's ire;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Can less than ever banishment from Norway's ice bound
+ land,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Stay sure revenge&mdash;pursuing fate&mdash;and justice'
+ awful hand?
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Away he sails&mdash;the foaming seas as Corsair now he
+ laves,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Dauntless&mdash;heroic&mdash;daring winds, and
+ man-entombing waves,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To visit other lands afar,&mdash;to combat chiefs of
+ fame;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In battle-field to spread around the dread of Norway's
+ name.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Lone Mona's sea-girt isle he dares with spear and
+ flashing sword,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Usurping regal rule and right by power of pirate horde;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Yet vengeance drear, and dark desert of direst actions,
+ crave
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A bloody death, a justice clear, and dark usurper's
+ grave.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ On Erin's lovely land he falls&mdash;awarded darksome
+ doom,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When, ruffian-like, he dared profane the saintly Olave's
+ tomb:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He leaves his conquests, kingdoms, crowns, and all of
+ earthly state,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To sleep in loneliness, and fill his dark predicted fate.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>Kirk Michael, Isle of Man</i>. A B.C.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <h2>
+ THE ANECDOTE GALLERY.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A LIVING ALCHEMIST.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ (<i>From Sir R. Phillips's Tour</i>.)
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ At Luton, Beds. Sir Richard hears of an ALCHEMIST, who lives
+ at the village of Lilley, midway between Luton and Hitchen.
+ The whole of his interview with this eccentric personage,
+ will doubtless be interesting to our readers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was four miles out of my road, but I thought a modern
+ alchemist worthy of a visit, particularly as several
+ inhabitants of Luton gravely assured me, that he had
+ succeeded in discovering the Philosopher's Stone, and also
+ the Universal Solvent. The reports about him would have
+ rendered it culpable not to have hazarded anything for a
+ personal interview. I learnt that he had been a man of
+ fashion, and at one time largely concerned in adventures on
+ the turf, but that for many years he had devoted himself to
+ his present pursuits; while for some time past, he had been
+ inaccessible and invisible to the world, the house being shut
+ and barricadoed, and the walls of his grounds protected by
+ hurdles, with spring-guns so planted as to resist intrusion
+ in every direction. Under these circumstances, I had no
+ encouragement to go to Lilley, but I thought that even the
+ external inspection of such premises would repay me for the
+ trouble. At Lilley, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page342"
+ name="page342"></a>[pg 342]</span> I inquired for his house
+ of various people, and they looked ominous; some smiled,
+ others shook their heads, and all appeared surprised at the
+ approach of an apparent visiter to Mr. Kellerman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The appearance of the premises did not belie vulgar report. I
+ could not help shuddering at seeing the high walls of
+ respectable premises, lined at the top with double tiers of
+ hurdles, and on driving my chaise to the front of the house,
+ I perceived the whole in a state of horrid dilapidation.
+ Contrary, however, to my expectation, I found a young man who
+ appeared to belong to the out-buildings, and he took charge
+ of my card for his master, and went to the back part of the
+ house to deliver it. The front windows on the ground-floor
+ and upper stories were entirely closed by inside shutters,
+ much of the glass was broken, and the premises appeared
+ altogether as if deserted. I was pleased at the words, "My
+ master will be happy to see you," and in a minute the front
+ door was opened, and Mr. Kellerman presented himself.&mdash;I
+ lament that I have not the pencil of Hogarth, for a more
+ original figure never was seen. He was about six feet high,
+ and of athletic make; on his head was a white night-cap, and
+ his dress consisted of a long great-coat once green, and he
+ had a sort of jockey waistcoat with three tiers of pockets.
+ His manner was extremely polite and graceful, but my
+ attention was chiefly absorbed by his singular physiognomy.
+ His complexion was deeply sallow, and his eyes large, black,
+ and rolling. He conducted me into a very large parlour, with
+ a window looking backward, and having locked the door, and
+ put the key in his pocket, he desired me to be seated in one
+ of two large arm chairs covered with sheepskins. The room was
+ a realization of the well-known picture of Teniers'
+ Alchemist. The floor was covered with retorts, crucibles,
+ alembics, jars, bottles in various shapes, intermingled with
+ old books piled upon each other, with a sufficient quantity
+ of dust and cobwebs. Different shelves were filled in the
+ same manner, and on one side stood his bed. In a corner
+ somewhat shaded from the light, I beheld two heads, white,
+ with dark wigs on them; I entertained no doubt therefore,
+ that among other fancies he was engaged in re-making the
+ brazen speaking head of Roger Bacon and Albertus. Many
+ persons might have felt alarmed at the peculiarity of my
+ situation, but being accustomed to mingle with eccentric
+ characters, and having no fear from any pretensions of the
+ black art, I was infinitely gratified by all I saw.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Having stated the reports which I had heard, relative to his
+ wonderful discoveries, I told him frankly that mine was a
+ visit of curiosity, and stated that if what I had heard was
+ matter of fact, the researches of the ancient chemists had
+ been unjustly derided. He then gave me a history of his
+ studies, mentioned some men whom I had happened to know in
+ London, who he alleged had assured him that they had made
+ gold. That having in consequence examined the works of the
+ ancient alchemists, and discovered the key which they had
+ studiously concealed from the multitude, he had pursued their
+ system under the influence of new lights; and after suffering
+ numerous disappointments, owing to the ambiguity with which
+ they described their processes, he had, at length, happily
+ succeeded; had made gold, and could make as much more as he
+ pleased, even to the extent of paying off the national debt
+ in the coin of the realm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I yielded to the declaration, expressed my satisfaction at so
+ extraordinary a discovery, and asked him, to oblige me so
+ far, as to show me some of the precious metal which he had
+ made.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Not so," said he; "I will show it to no one. I made Lord
+ Liverpool the offer, that if he would introduce me to the
+ king, I would show it to his majesty; but Lord Liverpool
+ insolently declined, on the ground that there was no
+ precedent; and I am therefore determined, that the secret
+ shall die with me. It is true that, in order to avenge myself
+ of such contempt, I made a communication to the French
+ ambassador, Prince Polignac, and offered to go to France, and
+ transfer to the French government, the entire advantages of
+ the discovery; but after deluding me, and shuffling for some
+ time, I found it necessary to treat him with the same
+ contempt as the others."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I expressed my convictions in regard to the double dealing of
+ men in office.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "O," said he, "as to that, every court in Europe well knows
+ that I have made the discovery, and they are all in
+ confederacy against me; lest by giving it to any one, I
+ should make that country master of all the rest&mdash;the
+ world, Sir," he exclaimed with great emotion, "is in my hands
+ and my power."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Satisfied with this announcement of the discovery of the
+ philosopher's stone, I now inquired about the sublime
+ alkahest or universal solvent, and whether he had succeeded
+ in deciphering the enigmatical descriptions of the ancient
+ writers on that most curious topic.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Certainly," he replied, "I succeeded in that several years
+ ago."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page343" name="page343"></a>[pg
+ 343]</span> "Then," I proceeded, "have you effected the other
+ great desideratum, the fixing of mercury?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Than that process," said he, "there is nothing more easy; at
+ the same time it is proper I should inform you, that there
+ are a class of impostors, who mistaking the ancient writers,
+ pretend it can be done by heat; but I can assure you, it can
+ only be effected by water."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I then besought him to do me the favour, to show me some of
+ his fixed mercury, having once seen some which had been fixed
+ by cold.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This proposition, however, he declined, because he said he
+ had refused others. "That you may, however, be satisfied that
+ I have made great discoveries, here is a bottle of oil, which
+ I have purified, and rendered as transparent as spring water.
+ I was offered &pound;10,000. for this discovery; but I am so
+ neglected, and so conspired against, that I am determined it
+ and all my other discoveries shall die with me."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I now inquired, whether he had been alarmed by the ignorance
+ of the people in the country, so as to shut himself up in so
+ unusual a manner.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," he replied, "not on their account wholly. They are
+ ignorant and insolent enough; but it was to protect myself
+ against the governments of Europe, who are determined to get
+ possession of my secret by force. I have been," he exclaimed,
+ "twice fired at in one day through that window, and three
+ times attempted to be poisoned. They believed I had written a
+ book containing my secrets, and to get possession of this
+ book has been their object. To baffle them, I burnt all that
+ I had ever written, and I have so guarded the windows with
+ spring-guns, and have such a collection of combustibles in
+ the range of bottles which stand at your elbow, that I could
+ destroy a whole regiment of soldiers if sent against me." He
+ then related, that as a further protection he lived entirely
+ in that room, and permitted no one to come into the house;
+ while he had locked up every room except that with patent
+ padlocks, and sealed the key-holes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It would be tedious and impossible to follow Mr. Kellerman
+ through a conversation of two or three hours, in which he
+ enlarged upon the merits of the ancient alchemists, and on
+ the blunders and impertinent assumptions of the modern
+ chemists, with whose writings and names it is fair to
+ acknowledge he seemed well acquainted. He quoted the
+ authorities of Roger and Lord Bacon, Paracelsus, Boyle,
+ Boerhaave, Woolfe, and others, to justify his pursuits. As to
+ the term philosopher's stone, he alleged that it was a mere
+ figure, to deceive the vulgar. He appeared also to give full
+ credit to the silly story about Dee's assistant, Kelly,
+ finding some of the powder of projection in the tomb of Roger
+ Bacon at Glastonbury, by means of which, as was said, Kelly
+ for a length of time supported himself in princely splendour.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I inquired whether he had discovered the blacker than black
+ of Apollonius Tyaneus; and this, he assured me, he had
+ effected; it was itself the powder of projection for
+ producing gold.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Amidst all this delusion and illusion on these subjects, Mr.
+ Kellerman behaved in other respects with great propriety and
+ politeness; and having unlocked the door, he took me to the
+ doors of some of the other rooms, to show me how safely they
+ were padlocked; and on taking leave, directed me in my course
+ towards Bedford.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a few minutes, I overtook a man, and on inquiring what the
+ people thought of Mr. Kellerman, he told me that he had lived
+ with him for seven years; that he was one of eight assistants
+ whom he kept for the purpose of superintending his crucibles,
+ two at a time relieving each other every six hours; that he
+ had exposed some preparations to intense heat for many months
+ at a time, but that all except one crucible had burst, and
+ that he called on him to observe, that it contained the true
+ "blacker than black." The man protested, however, that no
+ gold had ever been made, and that no mercury had ever been
+ fixed; for he was quite sure, that if he had made any
+ discovery, he could not have concealed it from the
+ assistants; while, on the contrary, they witnessed his severe
+ disappointments, at the termination of his most elaborate
+ experiments.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On my telling the man that I had been in his room, he seemed
+ much astonished at my boldness; for he assured me, that he
+ carried a loaded pistol in every one of his six waistcoat
+ pockets. I learnt also from this man, that he has or had
+ considerable property in Jamaica; that he has lived in the
+ premises at Lilley about twenty-three years, and during
+ fourteen of them pursued his alchemical researches with
+ unremitting ardour; but for the last few years shut himself
+ up as a close prisoner, and lived in the manner I have
+ described.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Here lyeth wrapt in clay,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The body of William Wray:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have no more to say.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>Weever's Epitaphs</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page344" name="page344"></a>[pg
+ 344]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Notes of a Reader.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ COURT OF CHARLES II.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ In the last No. of the <i>Edinburgh Review</i>, there is an
+ admirably written article on Hallam's "Constitutional
+ History," not a mere essay, but somewhat more like a review
+ than usual. It contains an abundance of florid, bold, and
+ vigorous writing, extending through upwards of 70 pages.
+ Among the most striking passages we notice a parallel between
+ Cromwell and Napoleon, drawn with considerable force. But our
+ extract is from the lighter portion, as the following
+ ludicrous sketches of some of the enormities of Charles II.
+ "Towards the close of the Protectorate, many signs indicated
+ that a time of license was at hand. But the restoration of
+ Charles II rendered the change wonderfully rapid and violent.
+ A deep and general taint infected the morals of the most
+ influential classes, and spread itself through every province
+ of letters. Poetry inflamed the passions; philosophy
+ undermined the principles; divinity itself, inculcating an
+ abject reverence for the court, gave additional effect to its
+ licentious example. ... The favourite duchess stamps about
+ Whitehall, cursing and swearing. The ministers employ their
+ time at the council board in making mouths at each other, and
+ taking off each other's gestures for the amusement of the
+ king. The peers at a conference begin to pommel each other,
+ and to tear collars and periwigs. A speaker in the House of
+ Commons gives offence to the court. He is way-laid by a gang
+ of bullies, and his nose is cut to the bone. ... The second
+ generation of the statesmen of this reign, were worthy of the
+ schools in which they had been trained, of the gaming table
+ of Grammont, and the tiring room of Nell &mdash;&mdash;."
+ This is but a small portion of the good set terms in which
+ the reviewer illustrates the licentiousness of the times.
+ Speaking of Clarendon, he says, "Mr. Hallam scarcely makes
+ sufficient allowance for the wear and tear which honesty
+ almost necessarily sustains in the friction of political
+ life, and which in times so rough as those through which
+ Clarendon passed, must be very considerable. When these are
+ fairly estimated, we think that his integrity may be allowed
+ to pass muster." Perhaps political honesty is like Joseph
+ Surface's French plate, or the tinsel spread over a pair of
+ Birmingham saleshop candlesticks, whose tenderness will not
+ withstand the wear and tear of conveyance in the purchaser's
+ pocket. But the oddity of the reviewer's comparisons even
+ puts one in good humour with their virulence.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ STREET SYMPATHIES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ During "the season" the veriest stranger who has an eye and
+ ear, and thoughts, must find in London sufficient to occupy
+ his attention; true, he may start and sigh, to think that of
+ the busy and enormous multitude around him, not one would
+ care, if, treading on yonder bit of orange peel, he should
+ slip off the flagway, and falling beneath the wheel of that
+ immense coal-wagon, have his thigh crushed to atoms, while
+ you'd be saying "Jack Robinson." But if he do sigh, the more
+ fool he; first, because "grieving's a folly," as the old sea
+ song hath it; next because he is mistaken in supposing that
+ no one would feel interested in his misfortune. There are two
+ upon the very flagway with him, who would evince the greatest
+ sympathy in his fate; the one is a surgeon's apprentice, who,
+ with anxious care, would bear him off to <i>his</i> hospital,
+ that he might "try his 'prentice hand" to doctor him while
+ living, and dissect him when dead; and the other is a running
+ reporter to one of the morning papers, who would with gentle
+ and soothing accents inquire his name, condition, and abode,
+ to swell the paragraph, and increase his
+ pay.&mdash;<i>Blackwood's Magazine.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LINES TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ON THE BIRTH OF HIS CHILD.
+ </h3>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ My heart is with you, Bulwer, and portrays
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The blessings of your first paternal days;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To clasp the pledge of purest, holiest faith,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To taste one's own and love-born infant's breath,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I know, nor would for worlds forget the bliss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I've felt that to a father's heart that kiss,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As o'er its little lips you smile and cling,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Has fragrance which Arabia could not bring.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Such are the joys, ill mock'd in ribald song,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In thought, ev'n fresh'ning life our life-time long,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That give our souls on earth a heaven-drawn bloom;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Without them we are weeds upon a tomb.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Joy be to thee, and her whose lot with thine,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Propitious stars saw Truth and Passion twine!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Joy be to her who in your rising name
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Feels Love's bower brighten'd by the beams of Fame!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I lack'd a father's claim to her&mdash;but knew
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Regard for her young years so pure and true,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That, when she at the altar stood your bride,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A sire could scarce have felt more sire-like pride.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <i>T. Campbell</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ The Duc de Laval has the character of being a perfect fool.
+ It is said that on one occasion he talked of having received
+ an anonymous letter, signed by all the officers of his
+ regiment; that on another, he ordered ottomans to be placed
+ in the four corners of his octagon
+ saloon!&mdash;<i>Josephine's Memoirs</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page345" name="page345"></a>[pg
+ 345]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ CAUSE AND EFFECT.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ Infinite are the consequences which follow from a single, and
+ often apparently a very insignificant circumstance. Paley
+ himself narrowly escaped being a baker; here was a decision
+ upon which hung in one scale, perhaps, the immortal interests
+ of thousands, and, in the other, the gratification of the
+ taste of the good people of Giggleswick for hot rolls.
+ Cromwell was near being strangled in his cradle by a monkey;
+ here was this wretched ape wielding in his paws the destinies
+ of nations. Then, again, how different in their kind, as well
+ as in their magnitude, are these consequences from anything
+ that might have been <i>&agrave; priori</i> expected. Henry
+ VIII. is smitten with the beauty of a girl of eighteen; and
+ ere long,
+ </p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "The Reformation beams from Bullen's eyes."
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ Charles Wesley refuses to go with his wealthy namesake to
+ Ireland, and the inheritance, which would have been his, goes
+ to build up the fortunes of a Wellesley instead of a Wesley;
+ and to this decision of a schoolboy (as Mr. Southey observes)
+ Methodism may owe its existence, and England its
+ military&mdash;and, we trust we may now add, its civil and
+ political&mdash;glory&mdash;<i>Quarterly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ SERVANTS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A fund has lately been established at Stockholm, from which
+ it is intended to reward good and faithful servants. The king
+ has contributed to it 1,000 crowns; the prince royal 500; and
+ the princess royal 300. This has been suggested as an example
+ worthy of our imitation; many legacies, &amp;c. have from
+ time to time been bequeathed for the encouragement of
+ faithful servants in England; some are claimed, but the
+ majority are shamefully misapplied by those to whom their
+ distribution has been entrusted.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LONDON LUXURIES.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A capital like London is a Maelstrom&mdash;an immense
+ whirlpool&mdash;whose gyrations sweep in whatever is
+ peculiarly desirable from the most distant regions of the
+ empire&mdash;so active becomes the love of gain when set in
+ motion by the love of luxury. We recollect once being on
+ shipboard to the north of Duncan's Bay Head, and out of sight
+ of land, the nearest being the Feroe Islands:&mdash;we were
+ walking the deck, watching a whale which was gamboling at
+ some distance, throwing up his huge side to the sun, and
+ sending ever and anon a sheet of water and foam from his
+ nostrils. Our thoughts were on Hecla and on the icebergs of
+ the Pole, on the Scalds of Iceland and the sea-kings of
+ Norway, when a sail hove in sight: we asked what craft it
+ was&mdash;and were answered, "a Gravesend brig dredging for
+ lobsters." Never was enchantment so effectually
+ broken&mdash;never stage-trick in pantomime more successfully
+ played off. Scene changes from Feroe and Iceland to the
+ Albion in Aldersgate-street&mdash;Exeunt Scald, champion, and
+ whale&mdash;Enter common councilman, turbot, and
+ lobster-sauce.&mdash;<i>Quarterly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ THE BEAUTIFUL.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ To be convinced that, at some period or another of their
+ history, the Egyptians had conceived a <i>beau-ideal</i>
+ superior to the beautiful which nature habitually produced in
+ their country, we have only to examine the young Memnon, at
+ the British Museum, and the heads of many of the sphinxes
+ which remain.&mdash;<i>Weekly Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ ALGEBRA.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ Algebra I was charmed with, and found so much pleasure in
+ resolving its questions, that I have often sat till morning
+ at the engaging work, without a notion of its being day till
+ I opened the shutters of my closet. I recommend this study in
+ particular to young gentlemen, and am satisfied, if they
+ would but take some pains at first to understand it, they
+ would have so great a relish for its operations, as to prefer
+ them many an evening to clamorous pleasures; or, at least,
+ not be uneasy for being alone now and then, since their
+ algebra was with them.&mdash;<i>Life of John Buncle.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A LUCKY MATCH.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ The late Mr. Locke, of Norbury Park, commissioned one
+ Jenkins, a dealer in pictures, residing at Rome, to send him
+ any piece of sculpture which might not exceed fifty guineas.
+ Jenkins sent a head of Minerva, which Mr. Locke, not liking,
+ returned, paying the carriage, and all other expenses.
+ Nollekens, who was then also at Rome, having purchased a
+ trunk of Minerva for fifty pounds, upon the return of this
+ head, found that its proportion and character accorded with
+ his torso. This discovery induced him to accept an offer made
+ by Jenkins of the head itself; and 220 guineas to share the
+ profits. After Nollekens had joined the head and trunk, or,
+ what is called "restored it," which he did at the expense of
+ twenty guineas more for stone and labour, it proved a most
+ fortunate hit, for they sold it for the enormous sum of 1,000
+ guineas! and it is now at Newby, in
+ Yorkshire.&mdash;<i>Nollekens and his Times.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page346" name="page346"></a>[pg
+ 346]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ NELSON.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ We received the following little anecdote from a letter of a
+ gentleman now at the head of the medical profession, with
+ which he favoured us shortly after perusing Salmonia. "I was
+ (says our friend) at the Naval Hospital, at Yarmouth, on the
+ morning when Nelson, after the battle of Copenhagen (having
+ sent the wounded before him,) arrived at the Roads, and
+ landed on the jutty. The populace soon surrounded him, and
+ the military were drawn up in the market-place ready to
+ receive him; but making his way through the crowd, and the
+ dust, and the clamour, he went straight to the hospital. I
+ went round the wards with him, and was much interested in
+ observing his demeanour to the sailors; he stopped at every
+ bed, and to every man he had something kind and cheering to
+ say. At length, he stopped opposite a bed on which a sailor
+ was lying who had lost his right arm close to the
+ shoulder-joint, and the following short dialogue passed
+ between, them:"&mdash;<i>Nelson</i>. "Well, Jack, what's the
+ matter with you?"&mdash;<i>Sailor</i>. "Lost my right arm,
+ your honour."&mdash;Nelson paused, looked down at his own
+ empty sleeve, then at the sailor, and said playfully, "Well,
+ Jack, then you and I are spoiled for fishermen&mdash;cheer
+ up, my brave fellow." And he passed briskly on to the next
+ bed; but these few words had a magical effect upon the poor
+ fellow, for I saw his eyes sparkle with delight as Nelson
+ turned away and pursued his course through the wards. As this
+ was the only occasion on which I saw Nelson, I may, possibly,
+ overrate the value of the incident.&mdash;<i>Q. Rev.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ THE BRITISH ALMANAC.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ This work, though only in its second year, is too well known
+ to be benefited by our recommendation. As a compilation, with
+ occasional originality, it is one of the best executed
+ labours of the Society from whom it emanates, and who, from
+ the multiplicity of facts here assembled, may be called "The
+ Society for the" <i>Condensation</i> "of Useful Knowledge."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the Almanac for 1829 we notice several improvements upon
+ that of last year. The "Remarks on Weather" are valuable; and
+ the "Garden Plants in Flower" in each month, in themselves
+ extremely interesting, contrast the unchanging course of
+ nature with the grand revolutions and events of the column of
+ "Anniversaries." Thus, what different emotions are produced
+ by reading April 6, "First Abdication of Bonaparte, 1814,"
+ and "Primrose Peerless (<i>Narcissus biflorus</i>) in
+ flower." The "Useful Remarks," though not a new feature in an
+ almanac, are profitable helps to social duties, especially
+ when drawn from such a source as Owen Feltham's
+ Resolves&mdash;a golden treasury of world-knowledge, which
+ may serve as a text-book for every family. Among the useful
+ facts we notice the following:&mdash;"By a parliamentary
+ return of the year 1828 we find that the stamp duty paid upon
+ the almanacs of England amounts to 30,136<i>l</i>. 3<i>s</i>.
+ 9<i>d</i>.&mdash;which, the duty being <i>fifteen-pence</i>
+ upon each almanac, exhibits a circulation of 451,593
+ annually."
+ </p>
+ <center>
+ <i>Remarks on Weather.</i>
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ "The mean temperature of London is about 2&deg; higher than
+ that of the surrounding country; the difference exists
+ chiefly in the night, and is greatest in winter and least in
+ summer."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Mr. Howard is of opinion, from a careful comparison of a
+ long series of observations, that a wet spring is an
+ indication of a dry time for the ensuing harvest."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The greatest depression of temperature in every month
+ happens, all other circumstances being the same, a short time
+ before sun-rise."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There are only two months, namely, July and August, in
+ which, taking into consideration the power of radiation,
+ vegetation, in certain situations, is not exposed to a
+ temperature of 32&deg;."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The temperature of August is but little reduced, owing to
+ the prevalence of hot nights. The action of the sun's rays is
+ considerably assisted by the warm earth which radiates heat
+ into the air; while, in spring, it absorbs every day a
+ proportion of the heat which the sun produces."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "<i>October</i>&mdash;Now that the fruits of the earth are
+ laid in store, the increase of wet is attended by no
+ injurious effects, the remaining heat of the earth is
+ preserved from needless expenditure, and guarded from
+ dissipation, by an increasing canopy of clouds, by which the
+ effect of radiation is greatly reduced."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The comparative warmth of November is owing to the heat
+ given out by the condensation of the vapour in the atmosphere
+ into rain."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The mean temperature of the whole year is not found to vary,
+ in different years, more than four degrees and a half."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ Such as hold superstition sweet to the soul, and love to
+ exercise their ingenuity in hieroglyphics, the baseless
+ grounds of tea, and lucky dreams and omens, will find little
+ amusement in the British Almanac; but their absence is more
+ than supplied by information "which almost every man engaged
+ in the world requires."
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <p>
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page347" name="page347"></a>[pg
+ 347]</span>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ THE SKETCH BOOK.
+ </h2>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ A VISION OF PURGATORY.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <i>By William Maginn, Esq.</i>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The churchyard of Inistubber is as lonely a one as you would
+ wish to see on a summer's day, or avoid on a winter's night.
+ Under the east window of the church is a mouldering vault of
+ the De Lacys,&mdash;a branch of a family descended from one
+ of the conquerors of Ireland; and there they are buried, when
+ the allotted time calls them to the tomb. Sir Theodore De
+ Lacy had lived a jolly, thoughtless life, rising early for
+ the hunt, and retiring late from the bottle. A good-humoured
+ bachelor who took no care about the management of his
+ household, provided that the hounds were in order for his
+ going out, and the table ready on his coming in. As for the
+ rest,&mdash;an easy landlord, a quiet master, a lenient
+ magistrate (except to poachers,) and a very excellent foreman
+ of a grand jury. He died one evening while laughing at a
+ story which he had heard regularly thrice a week for the last
+ fifteen years of his life, and his spirit mingled with the
+ claret. In former times when the De Lacys were buried, there
+ was a grand breakfast, and all the party rode over to the
+ church to see the last rites paid. The keeners lamented; the
+ country people had a wake before the funeral, and a dinner
+ after it&mdash;and there was an end. But with the march of
+ mind comes trouble and vexation. A man has now-a-days no
+ certainty of quietness in his coffin&mdash;unless it be a
+ patent one. He is laid down in the grave, and the next
+ morning finds himself called upon to demonstrate an
+ interesting fact! No one, I believe, admires this ceremony,
+ and it is not to be wondered at that Sir Theodore De Lacy
+ held it in especial horror. "I'd like," said he one evening,
+ "to catch one of the thieves coming after me when I'm
+ dead&mdash;By the God of War, I'd break every bone in his
+ body;&mdash;but," he added with a sigh, "as I suppose I'll
+ not be able to take my own part then, upon you I leave it,
+ Larry Sweeney, to watch me three days and three nights after
+ they plant me under the sod. There's Doctor Dickenson there,
+ I see the fellow looking at me&mdash;fill your glass,
+ Doctor&mdash;here's your health! and shoot him, Larry, do you
+ hear, shoot the Doctor like a cock, if he ever comes stirring
+ up my poor old bones from their roost of Inistubber." "Why,
+ then," Larry answered, accepting the glass which followed
+ this command, "long life to both your honours; and it's I
+ that would like to be putting a bullet into Doctor
+ Dickenson&mdash;heaven between him and harm&mdash;for hauling
+ your honour away, as if you was a horse's head, to a bonfire.
+ There's nothing, I 'shure you, gintlemin, poor as I am, that
+ would give me greater pleasure." "We feel obliged, Larry"
+ said Sir Theodore, "for your good wishes." "Is it I pull you
+ out of the grave, indeed!" continued the whipper-in, for such
+ he was, &mdash;"I'd let nobody pull your honour out of any
+ place, saving 'twas purgatory; and out of that I'd pull you
+ myself, if I saw you going <i>there</i>." "I am of opinion,
+ Larry," said Doctor Dickenson, "you would turn tail if you
+ saw Sir Theodore on that road. You might go further, and fare
+ worse, you know." "Turn tail!" replied Larry, "it is I that
+ wouldn't&mdash;I appale to St. Patrick himself over
+ beyond"&mdash;pointing to a picture of the Prime Saint of
+ Ireland, which hung in gilt daubery behind his master's
+ chair, right opposite to him. To Larry's horror and
+ astonishment, the picture fixing its eyes upon him, winked
+ with the most knowing air, as if acknowledging the appeal.
+ "What makes you turn so white then at the very thought," said
+ the doctor, interpreting the visible consternation of our
+ hero in his own way. "Nothing particular," answered Larry;
+ "but a wakeness has come strong over me, gintlemin, and if
+ you'd have no objection, I'd like to go into the air for a
+ bit." Leave was of course granted, and Larry retired amid the
+ laughter of the guests&mdash;but as he retreated, he could
+ not avoid casting a glance on the awful picture&mdash;and
+ again the Saint winked, with a most malicious smile. It was
+ impossible to endure the repeated infliction, and Larry
+ rushed down the stairs in an agony of fright and amazement.
+ "May be," thought he, "it might be my own eyes that wasn't
+ quite steady&mdash;or the flame of the candle. But
+ no&mdash;he winked at me as plain as ever I winked at Judy
+ Donaghue of a May morning. What he manes by it I can't
+ say&mdash;but there's no use of thinking about it&mdash;no,
+ nor of talking neither, for who' d believe me if I tould them
+ of it?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next evening Sir Theodore died, as has been mentioned;
+ and in due time thereafter was buried according to the custom
+ of the family, by torch-light, in the churchyard of
+ Inistubber. All was fitly performed; and although Dickenson
+ had no design upon the jovial knight&mdash;and if he had not,
+ there was nobody within fifteen miles that could be suspected
+ of such an outrage,&mdash;yet Larry Sweeney was determined to
+ make good his promise of watching his master. "I'd think
+ little of telling a lie to him, by the
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page348" name="page348"></a>[pg
+ 348]</span> way of no harm when he was alive," said he,
+ wiping his eyes, as soon as the last of the train had
+ departed, leaving him with a single companion in the lonely
+ cemetery; "but now that he's dead&mdash;God rest his
+ soul!&mdash;I'd scorn it. So Jack Kinaley, as behoves my
+ first cousin's son, stay you with me here this blessed night,
+ for betune (between) you and I, it an't lucky to stay by
+ one's self in this ruinated old rookery, where ghosts, God
+ help us, is as thick as bottles in Sir Theodore's cellar!"
+ "Never you mind that, Larry," said Kinaley, a discharged
+ soldier, who had been through all the campaigns of the
+ Peninsula; "never mind, I say, such botherations. Han't I
+ lain in bivouack on the field at Salamanca, and Tallawara,
+ and the Pyrumnees, and many another place beside, where there
+ was dead corpses lying about in piles, and there was no more
+ ghosts than kneebuckles in a ridgemint of Highlanders. Here,
+ let me prime them pieces, and hand us over the bottle; we'll
+ stay snug under this east window, for the wind's coming down
+ the hill, and I defy"&mdash;"None of that bould talk, Jack,"
+ said his cousin; "as for what ye saw in foreign parts, of
+ dead men killed afighting, sure that's nothing to the
+ dead&mdash;God rest 'em!&mdash;that's here. There you see,
+ they had company one with the other, and being killed
+ fresh-like that morning, had no heart to stir; but here,
+ faith! 'tis a horse of another colour." "May be it is," said
+ Jack, "but the night's coming on; so I'll turn in. Wake me if
+ you sees any thing; and after I've got my two hours' rest,
+ I'll relieve you."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With these words the soldier turned on his side, under
+ shelter of a grave, and as his libations had been rather
+ copious during the day, it was not long before he gave
+ audible testimony that the dread of supernatural visitants
+ had had no effect in disturbing the even current of his
+ fancy. Although Larry had not opposed the proposition of his
+ kinsman, yet he felt by no means at ease. He put in practice
+ all the usually recommended nostrums for keeping away
+ unpleasant thoughts:&mdash;all would not do. "If it was a
+ common, dacent, quite (quiet,) well-behaved churchyard
+ a'self," thought Larry, half-aloud&mdash;"but when 'tis a
+ place like this forsaken ould berrin'-ground, which is noted
+ for villiany"&mdash;"For what, Larry?" said a gentleman,
+ stepping out of a niche which contained the only statue time
+ had spared. It was the figure of Saint Colman, to whom the
+ church was dedicated. Larry had been looking at the figure,
+ as it shone forth in ebon and ivory in the light and shadow
+ of the now high-careering moon, "For what, Larry," said the
+ gentleman,&mdash;"for what do you say the churchyard is
+ noted?" "For nothing at all, plase your honour," replied
+ Larry, "except the height of gentility." The stranger was
+ about four feet high, dressed in what might be called flowing
+ garments,&mdash;if, in spite of their form, their rigidity
+ did not deprive them of all claim to such an appellation. He
+ wore an antique mitre upon his head; his hands were folded
+ upon his breast; and over his right shoulder rested a
+ pastoral crook. There was a solemn expression in his
+ countenance, and his eye might truly be called stony. His
+ beard could not be well said to wave upon his bosom; but it
+ lay upon it in ample profusion, stiffer than that of a Jew on
+ a frosty morning after mist. In short, as Larry soon
+ discovered to his horror, on looking up at the niche, it was
+ no other than Saint Colman himself, who had stept forth,
+ indignant (in all probability) at the stigma cast by the
+ watcher of the dead on the churchyard of which his Saintship
+ was patron. He smiled with a grisly solemnity&mdash;just such
+ a smile as you might imagine would play round the lips of a
+ milestone (if it had any,) at the recantation so quickly
+ volunteered by Larry. "Well," said he, "Lawrence
+ Sweeney"&mdash;"How well the old rogue," thought Larry,
+ "knows my name!" "Since you profess yourself such an admirer
+ of the merits of the churchyard of Inistubber, get up and
+ follow me, till I show you the civilities of the
+ place&mdash;for I am master here, and must do the honours."
+ "Willingly would I go with your worship," replied our friend;
+ "but you see here I am engaged to Sir Theodore, who, though a
+ good master, was a mighty passionate man when every thing was
+ not done as he ordered it; and I am feared to stir." "Sir
+ Theodore," said the Saint, "will not blame you for following
+ me. I assure you he will not." "But then," said
+ Larry&mdash;"Follow me!" cried the Saint, in a hollow voice,
+ and casting upon him his stony eye, drew poor Larry after
+ him, as the bridal guest was drawn by the lapidary glance of
+ the Ancient Mariner; or, as Larry himself afterwards
+ expressed it, "as a jaw tooth is wrinched out of an ould
+ woman with a pair of pinchers." The Saint strode before him
+ in silence, not in the least incommoded by the stones and
+ rubbish, which at every step sadly contributed to the
+ discomfiture of Larry's shins, who followed his marble
+ conductor into a low vault, situated at the west end of the
+ church. The path lay through coffins piled up on each side of
+ the way in various <span class="pagenum"><a id="page349"
+ name="page349"></a>[pg 349]</span> degrees of decomposition;
+ and, excepting that the solid footsteps of the saintly guide,
+ as they smote heavily on the floor of stone, broke the deadly
+ silence, all was still. Stumbling and staggering along,
+ directed only by the casual glimpses of light afforded by the
+ moon, where it broke through the dilapidated roof of the
+ vault, and served to discover only sights of woe, Larry
+ followed. He soon felt that he was descending, and could not
+ help wondering at the length of the journey. He began to
+ entertain the most unpleasant suspicions as to the character
+ of his conductor;&mdash;but what could he do? Flight was out
+ of the question, and to think of resistance was absurd.
+ "Needs must, they say," thought he to himself, "when the
+ devil drives. I see it's much the same when a saint, leads."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At last the dolorous march had an end; and not a little to
+ Larry's amazement, he found that his guide had brought him to
+ the gate of a lofty hall, before which a silver lamp, filled
+ with naphtha, "yielded light as from a sky."&mdash;From
+ within loud sounds of merriment were ringing; and it was
+ evident, from the jocular harmony and the tinkling of
+ glasses, that some subterraneous catch-club were not idly
+ employed over the bottle. "Who's there?" said a porter,
+ roughly responding to the knock of Saint Colman. "Be so
+ good," said the Saint, mildly, "my very good fellow, as to
+ open the door without further questions, or I'll break your
+ head. I'm bringing a gentleman here on a visit, whose
+ business is pressing." "May be so," thought Larry, "but what
+ that business may be, is more than I can tell." The porter
+ sulkily complied with the order, after having apparently
+ communicated the intelligence that a stranger was at hand;
+ for a deep silence immediately followed the tipsy clamour;
+ and Larry, sticking close to his guide, whom he now looked
+ upon almost as a friend, when compared with these underground
+ revellers to whom he was about to be introduced, followed him
+ through a spacious vestibule, which gradually sloped into a
+ low-arched room, where the company was assembled. And a
+ strange-looking company it was. Seated round a long table
+ were three-and-twenty grave and venerable personages,
+ bearded, mitred, stoled, and croziered,&mdash;all living
+ statues of stone, like the Saint who had walked out of his
+ niche. On the drapery before them were figured the images of
+ the sun, moon, and stars&mdash;the inexplicable
+ bear&mdash;the mystic temple, built by the hand of
+ Hiram&mdash;and other symbols, of which the uninitiated knew
+ nothing. The square, the line, the trowel, were not wanting,
+ and the hammer was lying in front of the chair. Labour,
+ however, was over, and the time for refreshment having
+ arrived, each of the stony brotherhood had a flagon before
+ him; and when we mention that the Saints were Irish, and that
+ St. Patrick in person was in the chair, it is not to be
+ wondered at that the mitres, in some instances, hung rather
+ loosely on the side of the heads of some of the canonized
+ compotators. Among the company were found St. Senanus of
+ Limerick, St. Declan of Ardmore, St. Canice of Kilkenny, St.
+ Finbar of Cork, St. Michan of Dublin, St. Brandon of Kerry,
+ St. Fachnan of Ross, and others of that holy brotherhood; a
+ vacant place, which completed the four-and-twentieth, was
+ left for St. Colman, who, as every body knows, is of Cloyne;
+ and he, having taken his seat, addressed the president, to
+ inform him that he had brought the man. The man (viz. Larry
+ himself) was awestruck with the company in which he so
+ unexpectedly found himself; and trembled all over when, on
+ the notice of his guide, the eight-and-forty eyes of stone
+ were turned directly upon himself. "You have just nicked the
+ night to a shaving, Larry," said St. Patrick: "this is our
+ chapter-night, and myself and brethren are here 'assembled on
+ merry occasion.'&mdash;You know who I am?" "God bless your
+ reverence," said Larry, "it's I that do well. Often did I see
+ your picture hanging over the door of places where it
+ is"&mdash;lowering his voice&mdash;"pleasanter to be than
+ here, buried under an ould church." "You may as well say it
+ out, Larry," said St. Patrick; "and don't think I'm going to
+ be angry with you about it; for I was once flesh and blood
+ myself. But you remember, the other night, saying that you
+ would think nothing of pulling your master out of purgatory,
+ if you could get at him there, and appealing to me to stand
+ by your words.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Y-e-e-s," said Larry, most mournfully; for he recollected
+ the significant look he had received from the picture. "And,"
+ continued St. Patrick, "you remember also that I gave you a
+ wink, which you know is as good, any day, as a nod&mdash;at
+ least, to a blind horse." "I'm sure, your reverence," said
+ Larry, with a beating heart, "is too much of a gintleman to
+ hould a poor man hard to every word he may say of an evening,
+ and therefore"&mdash;"I was thinking so," said the saint, "I
+ guessed you'd prove a poltroon when put to the push. What do
+ you think, my brethren, I should do to this fellow?" A hollow
+ sound burst from the bosoms of the unanimous assembly.
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page350" name="page350"></a>[pg
+ 350]</span> The verdict was short and decisive:&mdash;"Knock
+ out his brains!" And in order to suit the action to the word,
+ the whole four-and-twenty arose at once, and with their
+ immovable eyes fixed firmly on the face of our hero&mdash;who
+ horror struck with the sight as he was, could not close
+ his&mdash;they began to glide slowly but regularly towards
+ him, bending their line into the form of a crescent, so as to
+ environ him on all sides. In vain he fled to the door; its
+ massive folds resisted mortal might. In vain he cast his eyes
+ around in quest of a loophole of retreat&mdash;there was
+ none. Closer and closer pressed on the slowly-moving phalanx,
+ and the uplifted croziers threatened soon to put their
+ sentence into execution. Supplication was all that
+ remained&mdash;and Larry sunk upon his knees. "Ah! then,"
+ said he, "gintlemin and ancient ould saints as you are, don't
+ kill the father of a large small family, who never did hurt
+ to you or yours. Sure, if 'tis your will that I should go
+ to&mdash;no matter who, for there's no use in naming his
+ name&mdash;might I not as well make up my mind to go there,
+ alive and well, stout and hearty, and able to face
+ him,&mdash;as with my head knocked into bits, as if I had
+ been after a fair or a patthern?" "You say right," said St.
+ Patrick, checking with a motion of his crozier the advancing
+ assailants, who returned to their seats. "I am glad to see
+ you coming to reason. Prepare for your journey." "And how,
+ plase your Saintship, am I to go?" asked Larry. "Why," said
+ St. Patrick, "as Colman here has guided you so far, he may
+ guide you further. But as the journey is into foreign parts,
+ where you arn't likely to be known, you had better take this
+ letter of introduction, which may be of use to you." "And
+ here, also, Lawrence," said a Dublin Saint&mdash;perhaps
+ Michan&mdash;"take you this box also, and make use of it as
+ he to whom you speak shall suggest." "Take a hold, and a firm
+ one," said St. Colman, "Lawrence, of my cassock, and we' ll
+ start." "All right behind?" cried St. Patrick. "All right!"
+ was the reply. In an
+ instant!&mdash;vault&mdash;table&mdash;saints&mdash;bell&mdash;church,
+ faded into air; a rustling hiss of wings was all that was
+ heard; and Larry felt his cheek swept by a current, as if a
+ covey of birds of enormous size were passing him. (It was, in
+ all probability, the flight of the saints returning to
+ heaven, but on that point nothing certain has reached us up
+ to the present time of writing.) He had not a long time to
+ wonder at the phenomenon, for he himself soon began to soar,
+ dangling in mid sky at the skirt of the cassock of his
+ sainted guide. Earth, and all that appertains thereto,
+ speedily passed from his eyes, and they were alone in the
+ midst of circumfused ether, glowing with a sunless light.
+ Above, in immense distance, was fixed the firmament, fastened
+ up with bright stars, fencing around the world with its azure
+ wall. They fled far, before any distinguishable object met
+ their eyes. At length a long, white streak, shining like
+ silver in the moonbeam, was visible to their sight. "That,"
+ said St. Colman, "is the Limbo which adjoins the earth, and
+ is the highway for ghosts departing the world. It is called
+ in Milton, a book which I suppose, Larry, you never have
+ read"&mdash;"And how could I, plase your worship," said
+ Larry, "seein' I don't know a B from a bull's foot!" "Well,
+ it is called in Milton the Paradise of Fools: and if it were
+ indeed peopled by all of that tribe who leave the world, it
+ would contain the best company that ever figured on the
+ earth. To the north, you see a bright speck?" "I do." "That
+ marks the upward path,&mdash;narrow and hard to find. To the
+ south you may see a darksome road&mdash;broad, smooth, and
+ easy of descent; that is the lower way. It is thronged with
+ the great ones of the world; you may see their figures in the
+ gloom. Those who are soaring upwards are wrapt in the flood
+ of light flowing perpetually from that single spot, and you
+ cannot see them. The silver path on which we enter is the
+ Limbo. Here I part with you. You are to give your letter to
+ the first person you meet. Do your best;&mdash;be courageous,
+ but observe particularly that you profane no holy name, or I
+ will not answer for the consequences."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ His guide had scarcely vanished, when Larry heard the
+ tinkling of a bell in the distance, and turning his eyes in
+ the quarter whence it proceeded, he saw a grave-looking man
+ in black, with eyes of fire, driving before him a flock of
+ ghosts with a switch, as you see turkeys driven on the
+ western road, at the approach of Christmas. They were on the
+ highway to Purgatory. The ghosts were shivering in the thin
+ air, which pinched them severely, now that they had lost the
+ covering of their bodies. Among the group, Larry recognised
+ his old master, by the same means that Ulysses, Aeneas, and
+ others, recognised the bodiless forms of their friends in the
+ regions of Acheron. "What brings a living person," said the
+ man in black, "on this pathway? I shall make legal capture of
+ you, Larry Sweeney, for trespassing. You have no business
+ here." "I have come," said Larry, plucking up courage, "to
+ bring <span class="pagenum"><a id="page351"
+ name="page351"></a>[pg 351]</span> your honour's glory a
+ letter from a company of gintlemin with whom I had the
+ pleasure of spending the evening, underneath the ould church
+ of Inistubber." "A letter," said the man in black, "where is
+ it?" "Here, my lord," said Larry. "Ho!" cried the black
+ gentleman, on opening it, "I know the handwriting. It won't
+ do, however, my lad,&mdash;I see they want to throw dust in
+ my eyes." "Whew," thought Larry, "that's the very thing. 'Tis
+ for that the ould Dublin boy gave me the box. I'd lay a
+ tinpenny to a brass farthing that it's filled with Lundy
+ Foot." Opening the box, therefore, he flung its contents
+ right into the fiery eyes of the man in black, while he was
+ still occupied with reading the letter,&mdash;and the
+ experiment was successful.
+ "Curses&mdash;tche-tche-tche,&mdash; Curses on it," exclaimed
+ he, clapping his hand before his eyes, and sneezing most
+ lustily.&mdash;"Run, you villians, run," cried Larry, to the
+ ghosts&mdash;"run, you villians, now that his eyes are off of
+ you&mdash;O master, master! Sir Theodore, jewel! run to the
+ right-hand side, make for the bright speck, and God give you
+ luck."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He had forgotten his injunction. The moment the word was
+ uttered he felt the silvery ground sliding from under him;
+ and with the swiftness of thought he found himself on the
+ flat of his back, under the very niche of the old church wall
+ whence he had started, dizzy and confused with a measureless
+ tumble. The emancipated ghosts floated in all directions,
+ emitting their shrill and stridulous cries in the gleaming
+ expanse. Some were again gathered by their old conductor;
+ some scudding about at random, took the right hand path,
+ others the left. Into which of them Sir Theodore struck, is
+ not recorded; but as he had heard the direction, let us hope
+ that he made the proper choice. Larry had not much time given
+ him to recover from his fall, for almost in an instant he
+ heard an angry snorting rapidly approaching, and looking up,
+ whom should he see but the gentleman in black, with eyes
+ gleaming more furiously than ever, and his horns (for, in his
+ haste, he had let his hat fall) relieved in strong shadow
+ against the moon. Up started Larry&mdash;away ran his pursuer
+ after him. The safest refuge was, of course, the
+ church,&mdash;thither ran our hero&mdash;and after
+ him&mdash;fiercer than the shark, swifter than the
+ hounds&mdash;fled the black gentleman. The church is cleared;
+ the chancel entered; and the hot breath of his pursuer glows
+ upon the outstretched neck of Larry. Escape is
+ impossible&mdash;the extended talons of the fiend have
+ clutched him by the hair. "You are mine," cried the
+ demon,&mdash;"if I have lost any of my flock, I have at last
+ got you." "Oh, St. Patrick!" exclaimed our hero, in horror,
+ &mdash;"Oh, St. Patrick have mercy upon me, and save me!" "I
+ tell you what, cousin Larry," said Kinaley, chucking him up
+ from behind a gravestone, where he had fallen&mdash;"all the
+ St. Patricks that ever were born would not have saved you
+ from ould Tom Picton, if he caught you sleeping on your post
+ as I've caught you now. By the word of an ould soldier, he'd
+ have had the provost-marshal upon you, and I'd not give
+ two-pence for the loan of your life. And then, too, I see you
+ have drunk every drop in the bottle. What can you say for
+ yourself?" "Nothing at all," said Larry, scratching his
+ head,&mdash;"but it was an unlucky dream, and I'm glad it's
+ over."&mdash;<i>Literary Souvenir.</i>
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ Ancient Roman Festivals.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ NOVEMBER.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The <i>Epulum Jovis</i> was a sumptuous feast offered to
+ Jupiter on the 13th of November. The gods were formally
+ invited, and attended; for the statues were brought in rich
+ beds, furnished with soft pillows, called <i>pulvinaria</i>.
+ Thus accommodated, their godships were placed on their
+ couches at the most honourable part of the table, and served
+ with the rich dainties, as if they were able to eat; but the
+ <i>epulones</i>, or ministers, who had the care and
+ management of the feast, performed that function for them,
+ and no doubt did the part of <i>gastronomic proxies</i> with
+ <i>eclat</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The <i>Brumalia</i> was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among
+ the Romans during the space of thirty days, commencing on the
+ 24th of November. It was instituted by Romulus, who used,
+ during this time, to entertain the senate. During this feast
+ indications were taken of the felicity of the remaining part
+ of the winter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ P.T.W.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <h2>
+ The Gatherer.
+ </h2>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SHAKSPEARE.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ INNOCENT CONFESSION.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused
+ herself of using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the
+ confessor. "I do it to make myself handsomer."&mdash;"And
+ does it produce that effect?" "At least I think so,
+ father."&mdash;The confessor on this took his
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page352" name="page352"></a>[pg
+ 352]</span> penitent out of the confessional, and having
+ looked at her attentively in the light, said, "Well, madam,
+ you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ MERCHANT TAILORS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the
+ Merchant Tailors' motto, "<i>Concordi&acirc; parvae res
+ crescunt</i>" replied, "Yes, that is to say, nine tailors
+ make a man."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ RABELAIS.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ A JEU D'ESPRIT.
+ </center>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ In France they say
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lived RABELAIS,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A witty wight, and a right merry fellow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Who in good company was sometimes mellow:
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ And,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Although he was a priest,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thought it no sacramental sin&mdash;to feast.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I can't say much for his morality:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But for his immortality,
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ Good luck!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And scarcely a good library's shelf
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But boasts acquaintance with the elf.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But now I'll tell you what I should have told before,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A grievous illness brought him nigh <i>Death's</i> door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Who, bony wight,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Enjoyed the sight&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the jester had joined his company.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Rab's friends, good folk!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thought it no joke
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To the poor joker; they therefore sent around
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For all the Esculapians to be found;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And in a trice
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ (For doctors always haste to give advice&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mind&mdash;don't mistake&mdash;I mean when there's a fee)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They mustered two&mdash;to which add three.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Now about the bed
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Is seen each learned head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The patient's pulse is felt&mdash;with graver air
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Each M.D. seats him in a chair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Crosses his legs&mdash;leans on his stick,
+ mums&mdash;hahs&mdash;and hums
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Pulls out his watch&mdash;takes snuff&mdash;and twirls
+ his thumbs.
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ At length,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The awful stillness broke&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p class="i2">
+ As if from silence gathering strength
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Most lustily they all did croak,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Their opinions mingling,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In discordant jingling&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A purge"&mdash;"a blister"&mdash;"shave his head"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Senna and salts"&mdash;"a clyster"&mdash;"have him
+ bled,"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A pill at noon"&mdash;"another pill at night,"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thus with purges and blisters,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Pills, bleeding, and clysters,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The poor patient they threatened
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Should be deluged and sweatened.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>
+ Unable to endure the riot,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And wishing for a little quiet,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The sickman raised his head,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And said&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Gentlemen, I do beseech ye, cease your pother,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nor any more with me your wise heads bother,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Scratching your wigs,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Like sapient pigs;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Whate'er you may decide is my disease,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I humbly do conceive a little ease
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From your infernal noise and chatter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With which I'm dunn'd
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And nearly stunn'd,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Would greatly tend to mend the matter;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And if, perforce, I must resign my breath,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For heav'n's sake let me <i>die</i> a NATURAL
+ <i>death</i>.
+ </p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ P.M.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ AN AGITATOR.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ M. Monchenut, an old man of eighty, afflicted with the palsy,
+ was arrested during the reign of terror, under suspicion of
+ being an agitator. Being asked what he had to say to the
+ accusation, "Alas, gentlemen, it is very true, I am agitated
+ enough, God knows, for I have not been able to keep a limb
+ still for these fifteen years."
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ CHINESE POLITENESS.
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ There is one striking particular in which the Chinese
+ politeness is quite the reverse of ours. To take off their
+ caps when they salute one another, or even accidentally to
+ appear uncovered, is esteemed the height of ill breeding and
+ indecency.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HALBERT H.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets
+ are informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and
+ may be purchased separately. The whole of the numbers are now
+ in print, and can be procured by giving an order to any
+ Bookseller or Newsvender.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Complete sets Vol. I. to XI. in boards, price &pound;2.
+ l9<i>s</i>. 6<i>d</i>. half bound, &pound;3. l7<i>s</i>.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <h3>
+ LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS.
+ </h3>
+ <center>
+ CHEAP and POPULAR WORKS published at the MIRROR OFFICE in the
+ Strand, near Somerset House.
+ </center>
+ <p>
+ The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS, Embellished with nearly
+ 150 Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. CANNING. &amp;c. Price
+ 2s.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price l3s.
+ boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD
+ DISPLAYED Price 5s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BEAUTIES of SCOTT, 2 vols. price 7s. boards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BACON'S ESSAYS Price 8d.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+ </p>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <blockquote class="footnote">
+ <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>:
+ <a href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a>
+ <p>
+ The portion of this temple which is still standing in the
+ Campo Vaccino, and which consists of three marble columns,
+ with a fragment of entablature, is universally acknowledged
+ to be the finest specimen, not only of the architecture of
+ the Augustan age, but of the Corinthian order, not merely
+ in Rome, but throughout the whole ancient world. Whether
+ contemplated in the original, or through the medium of
+ drawings, it inspires unequivocal admiration as a perfect
+ model of the florid style: and from the inferences
+ deducible from the dimensions and relative position of the
+ three columns and their entablature, it is clear that the
+ elegance and propriety of their arrangement, as members of
+ an entire edifice, were equal to the grace of the
+ proportions of the still existing parts, and to the beauty,
+ however exquisite, of their enrichments.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <blockquote class="footnote">
+ <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>:
+ <a href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a>
+ <p>
+ One of the most characteristic buildings recently erected
+ in the metropolis, was the ill-fated <i>Brunswick
+ Theatre</i>, the propriety of whose facade was universally
+ acknowledged.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <p>
+ <i>Printed and Published by J. LAMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near
+ Somerset House.) London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New
+ Market, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i>
+ </p>
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11405 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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