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diff --git a/11084-0.txt b/11084-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..802c722 --- /dev/null +++ b/11084-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2812 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11084 *** + +[Illustration: "I reckon the thing sort o' got started last summer."] + + + + +SONNY, A CHRISTMAS GUEST + +BY RUTH McENERY STUART + +WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY FANNY Y. CORY + + +1911 + + + + + +TO MY SON STIRLING McENERY STUART + + + + +CONTENTS + + + A Christmas Guest + + The Boy + + Sonny's Christenin' + + Sonny's Schoolin' + + Sonny's Diploma + + Sonny "Keepin' Company" + + Weddin' Presents + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + + + "I reckon the thing sort o' got started last summer" + + "Seem to me _he_ favors her a little thess aroun' the mouth" + + "Quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo" + + "She does make 'im _so_ contented an' happy" + + "Name this child" + + "An' then Sonny, seein' it all over, he come down" + + "He was watchin' a bird-nest on the way to that school" + + "He had been playin' out o' doors bare-feeted" + + "Any question he missed was to be passed on to them thet had been + grad'jatin' so fast" + + "'This orange is the earth, an' this here apple is the sun'" + + "What could be sweeter 'n little Mary Elizabeth?" + + "When I set here by myself on this po'ch so much these days an' think" + + "Seem like a person don't no mo''n realize he's a descendant befo' he's + a' ancestor" + + + + + + + +SONNY + +A CHRISTMAS GUEST + + +[Illustration: 'B'] + +Boy, you say, doctor? An' she don't know it yet? Then what 're you +tellin' _me_ for? No, sir--take it away. I don't want to lay my eyes +on it till she's saw it--not if I _am_ its father. She's its _mother_, +I reckon! + +Better lay it down somew'eres an' go to _her_--not there on the +rockin'-cheer, for somebody to set on--'n' not on the trunk, please. +That ain't none o' yo' ord'nary new-born bundles, to be dumped on a box +that'll maybe be opened sudden d'rec'ly for somethin' needed, an' be +dropped ag'in' the wall-paper behind it. + +_It's hers_, whether she knows it or not. _Don't_, for _gracious_ sakes, +lay 'im on the _table! Anybody_ knows _that's_ bad luck. + +You think it might bother her on the bed? She's that bad? An' they ain't +no fire kindled in the settin'-room, to lay it in there. + +_S-i-r?_ Well, yas, I--I reck'n I'll _haf_ to hold it, ef you say +so--that is--of co'se-- + +_Wait_, doctor! _Don't_ let go of it _yet!_ Lordy! but I'm thess _shore_ +to drop it! Lemme set down _first, doctor_, here by the fire an' git +het th'ugh. Not yet! My ol' shin-bones stan' up thess like a pair o' +dog-irons. Lemme bridge 'em over first 'th somethin' soft. That'll do. +She patched that quilt herself. Hold on a minute, 'tel I git the aidges +of it under my ol' boots, to keep it f'om saggin' down in the middle. + +There, now! Merciful goodness, but I never! I'd rather trus' myself with +a whole playin' fountain in blowed glass'n sech ez this. + +Stoop down there, doctor, please, sir, an' shove the end o' this quilt +a leetle further under my foot, won't you? Ef it was to let up sudden, +I wouldn't have no more lap 'n what any other fool man's got. + +'N' now--you go to _her_. + +I'd feel a heap safeter ef this quilt was nailed to the flo' on each +side o'my legs. They're trimblin' so I dunno what minute my feet'll let +go their holt. + +An' she don't know it yet! An' he layin' here, dressed up in all the +little clo'es she sewed! She mus' be purty bad. I dunno, though; maybe +that's gen'ally the way. + +They're keepin' mighty still in that room. Blessed ef I don't begin to +feel 'is warmth in my ol' knee-bones! An' he's a-breathin' thess ez +reg'lar ez that clock, on'y quicker. Lordy! An' she don't know it yet! +An' he a boy! He taken that after the Joneses; we've all been boys in +our male branch. When that name strikes, seem like it comes to stay. +Now for a girl-- + +Wonder if he ain't covered up mos' too close-t. Seem like he snuffles +purty loud--for a beginner. + +Doctor! _oh_, doctor! I say, _doctor!_ + +Strange he don't hear--'n' I don't like to holler no louder. Wonder +ef she could be worse? Ef I could thess reach somethin' to knock with! +I daresn't lif' my foot, less'n the whole business'd fall through. + +Oh, doc'! Here he comes now--_Doctor_, I say, don't you think maybe he's +covered up too-- + +How's _she_, doctor? "Thess the same," you say? 'n' she don't know +yet--about him? "In a couple o' hours," you say? Well, don't lemme keep +you, doctor. But, tell me, don't you think maybe he's covered up a +leetle too close-t? + +That's better. An' now I've saw him befo' she did! An' I didn't want to, +neither. + +Poor leetle, teenchy, weenchy bit of a thing! Ef he ain't the _very_ +littlest! Lordy, Lordy, Lor_dy!_ But I s'pose all thet's needed in a +baby is a startin'-p'int big enough to hol' the fam'ly ch'racteristics. +I s'pose maybe he is, but the po' little thing mus' feel sort o' +scrouged with 'em, ef he's got 'em all--the Joneses' an' the Simses'. +Seem to me he favors her a little thess aroun' the mouth. + +An' she don't know it yet! + + +[Illustration: "Seem to me _he_ favors her a little thess aroun' the +mouth."] + + +Lord! But my legs ache like ez if they was bein' wrenched off. I've got +'em on sech a strain, somehow. An' he on'y a half hour ol', an' two +hours mo' 'fo' I can budge! Lord, Lord! how _will_ I stand it! + +_God bless 'im!_ Doc! He's a-sneezin'! Come quick! Shore ez I'm here, +he snez twice-t! + +Don't you reckon you better pile some mo' wood on the fire an'-- + +What's that you say? "Fetch 'im along"? An' has she ast for 'im? Bless +the Lord! I say. But a couple of you 'll have to come help me loosen up +'fo' I can stir, doctor. + +Here, you stan' on that side the quilt, whiles I stir my foot to the +flo' where it won't slip--an' Dicey--where's that nigger Dicey? You +Dicey, come on here, an' tromp on the other side o' this bedquilt till +I h'ist yo' young marster up on to my shoulder. + +No, you don't take 'im, neither. I'll tote 'im myself. + +Now, go fetch a piller till I lay 'im on it. That's it. And now git +me somethin' stiff to lay the piller on. There! That lapboa'd 'll do. +Why didn't I think about that befo'? It's a heap safeter 'n my ole +knee-j'ints. Now, I've got 'im secure. _Wait_, doctor--hold on! I'm +afeered you 'll haf to ca'y 'im in to her, after all. I'll cry ef I do +it. I'm trimblin' like ez ef I had a'ager, thess a-startin' in with +'im--an seein' me give way might make her nervious. You take 'im to her, +and lemme come in sort o' unconcerned terreckly, after she an' him've +kind o' got acquainted. Dast you hold 'im that-a-way, doctor, 'thout no +support to 'is spinal colume? I s'pose he _is_ too sof' to snap, but +I wouldn't resk it. Reckon I can slip in the other do' where she won't +see me, an' view the meetin'. + +Yas; I 'm right here, honey! (The idea o' her a-callin' for me--an' +_him_ in 'er arms!) I 'm right here, honey--_mother!_ Don't min' me +a-cryin'! I'm all broke up, somehow; but don't you fret. I 'm right here +by yo' side on my knees, in pure thankfulness. + +Bless His name, I say! You know he's a boy, don't yer? I been a holdin' +'im all day--'t least ever sence they dressed 'im, purty nigh a' hour +ago. An' he's slep'--an' waked up--an' yawned--an' snez--an' wunk--an' +sniffed--'thout me sayin' a word. Opened an' shet his little fist, +once-t, like ez ef he craved to shake hands, howdy! He cert'n'y does +perform 'is functions wonderful. + +Yas, doctor; I'm a-comin', right now. + +Go to sleep now, honey, you an' him, an' I'll be right on the spot when +needed. Lemme whisper to her thess a minute, doctor? + +I thess want to tell you, honey, thet you never, even in yo' young days, +looked ez purty to my eyes ez what you do right now. An' that boy is +_yo' boy_, an' I ain't a-goin' to lay no mo' claim to 'im 'n to see thet +you have yo' way with 'im--you hear? An' now good night, honey, an' go +to sleep. + + * * * * * + +They wasn't nothin' lef for me to do but to come out here in this ol' +woodshed where nobody wouldn't see me ac' like a plumb baby. + +An' now, seem like I _can't_ git over it! The idee o' me, fifty year +ol', actin' like this! + +An' she knows it! An' she's got 'im--_a boy_--layin' in the bed +'longside 'er. + +"Mother an' child doin' well!" Lord, Lord! How often I've heerd that +said! But it never give me the all-overs like it does now, some way. + +Guess I'll gether up a' armful o' wood, an' try to act unconcerned--an' +laws-a-mercy me! Ef--to-day--ain't--been--Christmas! My! my! my! An' it +come an' gone befo' I remembered! + +I'll haf to lay this wood down ag'in _an' think_. + +I've had many a welcome Christmas gif' in my life, but the idee o' the +good Lord a-timin' _this_ like that! + +Christmas! An' a boy! An' she doin' well! + +No wonder that ol' turkey-gobbler sets up on them rafters blinkin' at me +so peaceful! He knows he's done passed a critical time o' life. + +You've done crossed another bridge safe-t, ol' gobbly, an' you can +_afford_ to blink--an' to set out in the clair moonlight, 'stid o' +roostin' back in the shadders, same ez you been doin'. + +You was to 've died by ax-ident las' night, but the new visitor thet's +dropped in on us ain't cut 'is turkey teeth yet, an' his mother-- + +Lord, how that name sounds! Mother! I hardly know 'er by it, long ez +I been tryin' to fit it to 'er--an' fearin' to, too, less'n somethin' +might go wrong with either one. + +I even been callin' him "it" to myself all along, so 'feerd thet ef I +set my min' on either the "he" or the "she" the other one might take a +notion to come--an' I didn't want any disappointment mixed in with the +arrival. + +But now he's come,--_an'_ registered, ez they say at the polls,--I know +I sort o' counted on the boy, some way. + +Lordy! but he's little! Ef he hadn't 'a' showed up so many of his +functions spontaneous, I'd be oneasy less'n he mightn't have 'em; but +they're there! Bless goodness, they're there! + +An' he snez prezac'ly, for all the world, like my po' ol' pap--a reg'lar +little cat sneeze, thess like all the Joneses. + +Well, Mr. Turkey, befo' I go back into the house, I'm a-goin' to make +you a solemn promise. + +You go free till about this time next year, _anyhow_. You an' me'll +celebrate the birthday between ourselves with that contrac'. You needn't +git oneasy Thanksgivin', or picnic-time, or Easter, or no other time +'twixt this an' nex' Christmas--less'n, of co'se, you stray off an' git +stole. + +An' this here reprieve, I want you to understand, is a present from the +junior member of this firm. + +Lord! but I'm that tickled! This here wood ain't much needed in the +house,--the wood-boxes 're all full,--but I can't _de_vise no other +excuse for vacatin'--thess at this time. + +S'pose I _might_ gether up some eggs out 'n the nestes, but it'd look +sort o' flighty to go egg-huntin' here at midnight--an' he not two hours +ol'. + +I dunno, either, come to think; she might need a new-laid egg--sof +b'iled. Reckon I'll take a couple in my hands--an' one or two sticks o' +wood--an' I'll draw a bucket o' water too--an' tote _that_ in. + +Goodness! but this back yard is bright ez day! Goin' to be a clair, cool +night--moon out, full an' white. Ef _this ain't the stillest_ stillness! + +Thess sech a night, for all the world, I reckon, ez the first Christmas, +when He come-- + + When shepherds watched their flocks by night, + All seated on the ground, + The angel o' the Lord come down, + An' glory shone around-- + +thess like the hymn says. + +The whole o' this back yard is full o' glory this minute. Th' ain't +nothin' too low down an' mean for it to shine on, neither--not even the +well-pump or the cattle-trough--'r the pig-pen--or even me. + +Thess look at me, covered over with it! An' how it does shine on the +roof o' the house where they lay--her an' him! + +I suppose that roof has shined that-a-way frosty nights 'fo' to-night; +but some way I never seemed to see it. + +Don't reckon the creakin' o' this windlass could disturb her--or him. + +Reckon I might go turn a little mo' cotton-seed in the troughs for them +cows--an' put some extry oats out for the mules an' the doctor's +mare--an' onchain Rover, an' let 'im stretch 'is legs a little. I'd like +everything on the place to know _he's_ come, an' to feel the diff'ence. + +Well, now I'll load up--an' I do hope nobody won't notice the +_re_dic'lousness of it. + +You say she's asleep, doctor, an' th' ain't nothin' mo' needed to be +did--an' yo' 're goin'! + +Don't, for gracious sakes! go, doctor, an' leave me! I wont know what on +top o' the round earth to do, ef--ef--You know she--she might wake +up--or he! + +You say Dicey she knows. But she's on'y a nigger, doctor. Yes; I know +she's had exper'ence with the common run o' babies, but-- + +Lemme go an' set down this bucket, an' lay this stick o' wood on the +fire, an' put these eggs down, so's I can talk to you free-handed. + +Step here to the do', doctor. I say, doc, ef it's a question o' the size +o' yo' bill, you can make it out to suit yo'self--or, I'll tell you what +I'll do. You stay right along here a day or so--tell to-morrer or nex' +day, anyhow--an' I'll sen' you a whole bale o' cotton--an' you can sen' +back any change you see fit--or none--_or none_, I say. Or, ef you'd +ruther take it out in pertaters an' corn an' sorghum, thess say so, an' +how much of each. + +But _what_? "It wouldn't be right? Th' ain't no use," you say? An' +you'll _shore_ come back to-morrer? Well. But, by the way, doctor, did +you know to-day was Christmas? Of co'se I might've knew you did--but _I_ +never. An' now it seems to me like Christmas, an' Fo'th o' July, an' +"Hail Columbia, happy lan'," all b'iled down into one big jubilee! + +But tell me, doctor, confidential--sh!--step here a leetle further +back--tell me, don't you think he's to say a leetle bit undersized? +Speak out, ef he is. + +Wh--how'd you say? "Mejum," eh? Thess mejum! An' they do come even +littler yet? An' you say mejum babies're thess ez liable to turn out +likely an' strong ez over-sizes, eh? Mh-hm! Well, I reckon you +_know_--an' maybe the less they have to contend with at the start the +better. + +Oh, thanky, doctor! Don't be afeered o' wrenchin' my wris'! A thousand +thankies! Yo' word for it, he's a fine boy! An' you've inspected a good +many, an' of co'se you know--yas, yas! Shake ez hard ez you like--up an' +down--up an' down! + +An' now I'll go git yo' horse--an' don't ride 'er too hard to-night, +'cause I've put a double po'tion of oats in her trough awhile ago. The +junior member he give instructions that everything on the place was to +have a' extry feed to-night--an' of co'se I went and obeyed orders. + +Now--'fo' you start, doctor--I ain't got a thing stronger 'n raspberry +corjal in the house--but ef you'll drink a glass o' that with me? (Of +co'se he will!) + +She made this 'erself, doctor--picked the berries an' all--an' I raised +the little sugar thet's in it. Well, good-night, doctor! To-morrer, +shore! + +Sh-h! + +How that do'-latch does click! Thess like thunder! + +Sh-h! Dicey, you go draw yo' pallet close-t outside the do', an' lay +down--an' I'll set here by the fire an' keep watch. + +How my ol' stockin'-feet do tromp! Do lemme hurry an' set down! Seem +like this room's awful rackety, the fire a-poppin' an' tumblin', an' +me breathin' like a porpoise. Even the clock ticks ez excited ez I +feel. Wonder how they sleep through it all! But they do. He beats her +a-snorin' a'ready, blest ef he don't! Wonder ef he knows he's born into +the world, po' little thing! I reckon not; but they's no tellin'. Maybe +that's the one thing the good Lord gives 'em _to_ know, so's they'll +realize what to begin to study about--theirselves an' the world--how to +fight it an' keep friends with it at the same time. Ef I could giggle +an' sigh both at once-t, seem like I'd be relieved. Somehow I feel sort +o' tight 'roun' the heart--an' wide awake an'-- + +How that clock _does_ travel--an' how they all keep time, he--an' +she--an' it--an' me--an' the fire roa'in' up the chimbley, playin' a +tune all around us like a' organ, an' he--an' she--an' he--an' it--an' +he--an'-- + +Blest ef I don't hear singing--an' how white the moonlight is! They's +angels all over the house---an' their robes is breshin' the roof whilst +they sing-- + +His head had fallen. He was dreaming. + +[Illustration] + + + + +THE BOY + +[Illustration: 'H'] + +Here's the doctor, now! Hello, Doc, come right in! Here's yo' patient, +settin' up on the po'ch, big ez life; but when we sent for you this +mornin' it seemed thess hit an' miss whether he'd come thoo or not. + +Thess the same sort o' spells he's had all along, doctor,--seems you +can't never see 'im in one,--all brought on by us a-crossin' 'im. His +gran'ma insisted on hidin' the clock when he wanted it; but I reckon +she'll hardly resk it ag'in, she's that skeert. He's been settin' on the +flo' there thess the way you see 'im now, with that clock in his lap, +all mornin'. + +Of co'se it thess took him about ten minutes to bu'st all the little +things his gran'ma give him to play with, 'n' then he nachelly called +for the clock; 'n' when she wasn't forthcomin' _immejate_, why, he thess +stiffened out in a spell. + +Of co'se we put the timepiece into his hands quick ez we could onclinch +'em, an' sent for you. But quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo. But +you was already gone for, then. + +His gran'ma she got considerable fretted because he's broke off the long +han' o' the clock; but I don't see much out o' the way about that. Ef a +person thess remembers thet the long han' is the short han'--why, 't +ain't no trouble. + +An' she does make 'im _so_ contented an' happy! Thess look at his face, +now! What is the face-vally of a clock, I like to know, compared to +that? + + +[Illustration: "Quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo."] + + +But of co'se the ol' lady she's gettin' on in years, and then she's +my wife's mother, which makes her my _di_rec' mother-in-law; an' so +I'm slow to conterdic' anything she says, an' I guess her idees o' +regulatin' childern--not to say clocks--is sort o' diff'rent to wife's +an' mine. She goes in for reg'lar dis_cip_line, same ez she got an' +survived in her day; an' of co'se, ez Sonny come to her ez gran'son the +same day he was born to us ez plain son, we never like to lift our +voices ag'in anything she says. + +She loves him thess ez well ez we do, only on a diff'rent plan. She give +him the only spankin' he's ever had--an' the only silver cup. + +Even wife an' me we had diff'rent idees on the subjec' o' Sonny's +raisin'; but somehow, in all our ca'culations, we never seemed to +realize that _he'd_ have idees. + +Why, that two-year-old boy settin' there regulatin' that clock warn't no +mo' 'n to say a pink spot on the piller 'fo' he commenced to set fo'th +his idees, and he ain't never backed down on no principle thet he set +fo'th, to this day. + +For example, wife an' me, why, we argued back an' fo'th consider'ble on +the subjec' of his meal-hours, ez you might say, she contendin' for +promiskyus refreshment an' me for schedule time. + +This, of co'se, was thess _proj_eckin' 'fo' the new boa'der ac-chilly +arrived, He not bein' here yet, we didn't have much to do _but_ +speculate about him. Lookin' back'ards now, it seems to me we +couldn't'a' had nothin' to do, day or night, 'fo' he come. + +But, ez I was sayin', she was for meals at all hours, an' I was for the +twenty-minutes-for-refreshment plan, an' we discussed it consider'ble, +me always knowin', but never lettin' on, thet of co'se she, havin' what +you might call a molopoly on the restaurant, could easy have things her +own way, ef she'd choose. + +But, sir, from the time he looked over that bill o' fare an' put his +finger on what he'd have, _an' when_, that boy ain't never failed to +call for it, an' get it, day 'r night. + +But, talkin' 'bout the clock, it did seem funny for him to keep her +goin' 'thout no key. + +But somehow he'd work it thet that alarm 'd go off in the dead hours o' +night, key or no key, an' her an' me we'd jump out o' bed like ez ef we +was shot; and do you b'lieve thet that baby, not able to talk, an' +havin' on'y half 'is teeth, he ain't never failed to wake up an' roa' +out a-laughin' ever' time that clock 'd go off in the night! + +Why, sir, it's worked on me so, sometimes, thet I've broke out in a col' +sweat, an' set up the balance o' the night--an' I ain't to say +high-strung, neither. + +No, sir, we ain't never named 'im yet. Somehow, we don't seem to be able +to confine ourselves to no three or four names for 'im, for so we thess +decided to let it run along so--he thess goin' by the name o' "Sonny" +tell sech a time ez he sees fit to name 'isself. + +Of co'se I sort o' ca'culate on him takin' the "Junior," an' lettin' me +tack a capital "S" an' a little "r" to my name 'fo' I die; which would +nachelly call attention to him _di_rec' eve'y time I'd sign my +signature. + +Deuteronomy Jones ain't to say a purty name, maybe; but it's +scriptu'al--so far ez my parents could make it. Of co'se the +Jones--well, they couldn't help that no mo' 'n I can help it, or Sonny, +_or his junior_, thet, of co'se, may never be called on to appear in the +flesh, Sonny not bein' quite thoo with his stomach-teeth yet, an' bein' +subject to croup, both of which has snapped off many a fam'ly tree fore +to-day. But I reckon the Joneses ain't suffered much that a-way. I doubt +ef any of 'em has ever left 'thout passin' the name on--not knowin' +positive, but thess _jedgin'_. None o' mine ain't, I _know_, leastwise +none of my _di_rec' ancestors--they couldn't have, an' me here, an' +Sonny. + +_Don't_ jump, doctor! That's the supper-bell. 'Tis purty loud, but +that's on account o' my mother-in-law. She's stone-deef--can't hear +thunder; but I told wife thet I thought we owed it to her to do the best +we could to reach her, and I had that bell made a-purpose. + +Now, some men they'd slight a mother-in-law like that, an' maybe ring a +dummy at her; but that's thess where I differ. I don't forget where I +get my benefits, an' ef it hadn't 'a' been for her, the family circle o' +Deuteronomy Jones would be quite diff'rent to what it is. She's handed +down some of Sonny's best traits to him, too. + +I don't say she give him his hearin', less'n she give 'm all she +had--which, of co'se, I'm thess a-jokin', which is a sin, an' her +stone-deef, and Sonny thess come thoo a death-spell! + +Me havin' that extry sized bell made thess out of respects to her +tickled her mightily. + +Come along, Sonny! He heerd the bell, an' he knows what it means. That's +right--fetch the clock along. + +Sonny's cheer is toler'ble low, an' he's took a notion to set on the +clock mealtimes. I thess lay 'er face down'ards in his cheer, 'n' I +don't know ez it hurts her any; 'n' then it saves the dictionary, too. + +She did strike that a-way one day, and Sonny was so tickled he purty +near choked on a batter-cake, he laughed so. He has broke sev'ral +casters tryin' to jostle her into doin' it again, but somehow she won't. +Seem like a clock kin be about ez contrary ez anything else, once't git +her back up. + +He got so worked up over her not strikin' that a-way one day thet he +stiffened out in a spell, then an' there. + +You say they ain't apt to be fatal, doctor--them spells! + +Well--but you ain't never saw him in one yet. They're reg'lar +death-spells, doctor. + +Tell you the truth, they was the 'casion of us j'inin' the church, them +spells was. + +Says I to wife--standin' beside him one day, and he black in the +face--says I, "Wife," says I, "I reckon you an' me better try to live +mo' righteously 'n what we've been doin', or he'll be took from us." +An', sir, the very nex' communion we both up an' perfessed. An' I +started sayin' grace at table, an' lef' off the on'y cuss-word I ever +did use, which was "durn." An', maybe I oughtn't to say it, but I miss +that word yet. I didn't often call on it, but I always knowed 't was +there when needed, and it backed me up, somehow--thess the way knowin' I +had a frock-coat in the press has helped me wear out ol' clo'es. I ain't +never had on that frock-coat sence I was married in it seventeen year +ago; but, sir, ever sence I've knew the moths had chawed it up, th' +ain't been a day but I've felt shabby. + + +[Illustration: "She does make 'im _so_ contented an' happy."] + + +Sir? Yas, sir; we've waited a long time. It's seventeen year, come this +spring, sence we married. Our first child could easy 'a' been sixteen +year ol', 'stid o' two, ef Sonny'd come on time, but he ain't never been +known to hurry hisself. But it does look like, with seventeen year for +reflection, an' nothin' to do but study up other folks's mistakes with +their childern, we ought to be able to raise him right. Wife an' me we +fully agree upon one p'int, 'n' that is, thet mo' childern 'r' sp'iled +thoo bein' crossed an' hindered 'n any other way. Why, sir, them we 've +see' grow up roun' this country hev been fed on daily rations of +"dont's!" an' "stops!" an' "quits!"--an' most of 'em brought up by hand +at that! + +An' so, ez I say, we don't never cross Sonny, useless. Of co'se when +he's been sick we have helt his little nose an' insisted on things; but +I reckon we 've made it up to him afterwards, so's he wouldn't take it +amiss. + +Oh, yas, sir; he called me "daddy" hisself, 'n' I never learned it to +him, neither. I _was_ layin' out to learn 'im to say "papa" to me, in +time; but I 'lowed I 'd hol' back tell he called _her_ name first. +Seemed like that was her right, somehow, after all thet had passed +'twixt him an' her; an' in all her baby-talk to him I took notice she'd +bring the "mama" in constant. + +So of co'se I laid low, hopin' some day he 'd ketch it--an' he did. He +wasn't no mo' 'n 'bout three months ol' when he said it; 'n' then, 'fo' +I could ketch my breath, hardly, an put in my claim, what does he do but +square aroun', an', lookin' at me direc', say "dada!" thess like that. + +There's the secon' bell, doctor. 'Sh! _Don't_ ring no mo', Dicey! We're +a-comin'! + +At the first bell the roller-towel an' basin gen'ally holds a reception; +but to-day bein' Sunday-- + +What? Can't stay? But you _must_. Quick ez Sonny come thoo this mornin', +wife took to the kitchen, 'cause, she says, says she, "Likely ez not the +doctor 'll miss his dinner on the road, 'n' I 'll turn in with Dicey an' +see thet he makes it up on supper." + +"Eat an' run?" Why not, I like to know? Come on out. Wife's at the +roller-towel now, and she 'll be here in a minute. + +Come on, Sonny. Let "dada" tote the clock for you. No? Wants to tote 'er +hisself? Well, he shall, too. + +But befo' we go out, doc, say that over ag'in, please. + +Yas, I understan'. Quick ez he's took with a spell, you say, th'ow col' +water in his face, an' "never min' ef he cries"! + +I'll try it, doctor; but, 'twixt me an' you, I doubt ef anybody on the +lot'll have the courage to douse 'im. Maybe we might call in somebody +passin', an' git them to do it. But for the rest,--the bath an' the +mustard,--of co'se it shall be did correct. You see, the trouble hez +always been thet befo' we could git any physic measured out, he come +thoo. + +Many's the time that horse hez been saddled to sen' for you befo' +to-day. He thess happened to get out o' sight to-day when Sonny seemed +to feel the clock in his hands, an' he come thoo 'thout us givin' him +anything _but_ the clock--an' it external. + +Walk out, doctor. + + + + +THE CHRISTENIN' + +[Illustration: 'Y'] + +Yas, sir, wife an' me, we've turned 'Piscopals--all on account o' Sonny. +He seemed to perfer that religion, an' of co'se we wouldn't have the +family divided, so we're a-goin' to be ez good 'Piscopals ez we can. + +I reckon it'll come a little bit awkward at first. Seem like I never +will git so thet I can sass back in church 'thout feelin' sort o' +impident--but I reckon I'll chirp up an' come to it, in time. + +I never was much of a hand to sound the amens, even in our own Methodist +meetin's. + +Sir? How old is he? Oh, Sonny's purty nigh six--but he showed a +pref'ence for the 'Piscopal Church long fo' he could talk. + +When he wasn't no mo' 'n three year old we commenced a-takin' him round +to church wherever they held meetin's,--'Piscopals, Methodists or +Presbyterians,--so's he could see an' hear for hisself. I ca'yed him +to a baptizin' over to Chinquepin Crik, once-t, when he was three. +I thought I'd let him see it done an' maybe it might make a good +impression; but no, sir! The Baptists didn't suit him! Cried ever' +time one was douced, an' I had to fetch him away. In our Methodist +meetin's he seemed to git worked up an' pervoked, some way. An' the +Presbyterians, he didn't take no stock in them at all. Ricollect, one +Sunday the preacher, he preached a mighty powerful disco'se on the +doctrine o' lost infants not 'lected to salvation--an' Sonny? Why, he +slep' right thoo it. + +The first any way lively interest he ever seemed to take in religious +services was at the 'Piscopals, Easter Sunday. When he seen the lilies +an' the candles he thess clapped his little hands, an' time the folks +commenced answerin' back he was tickled all but to death, an' started +answerin' hisself--on'y, of co'se he 'd answer sort o' hit an' miss. + +I see then thet Sonny was a natu'al-born 'Piscopal, an' we might ez well +make up our minds to it--an' I told _her_ so, too. They say some is born +so. But we thought we'd let him alone an' let nature take its co'se +for awhile--not pressin' him one way or another. He never had showed +no disposition to be christened, an' ever sence the doctor tried to +vaccinate him he seemed to git the notion that christenin' an' +vaccination was mo' or less the same thing; an' sence that time, +he's been mo' opposed to it than ever. + +Sir? Oh no, sir. He didn't vaccinate him; he thess tried to do it; but +Sonny, he wouldn't begin to allow it. We all tried to indoose 'im. I +offered him everything on the farm ef he'd thess roll up his little +sleeve an' let the doctor look at his arm--promised him thet he wouldn't +tech a needle to it tell he said the word. But he wouldn't. He 'lowed +thet me an' his mama could git vaccinated ef we wanted to, but he +wouldn't. + +Then we showed him our marks where we had been vaccinated when we was +little, an' told him how it had kep' us clair o' havin' the smallpock +all our lives. + +Well, sir, it didn't make no diff'ence whether we'd been did befo' or +not, he 'lowed thet he wanted to see us vaccinated ag'in. + +An' so, of co'se, thinkin' it might encour'ge him, we thess had it did +over--tryin' to coax him to consent after each one, an' makin' pertend +like we enjoyed it. + +Then, nothin' would do but the nigger, Dicey, had to be did, an' then he +'lowed thet he wanted the cat did, an' I tried to strike a bargain with +him thet if Kitty got vaccinated he would. But he wouldn't comp'omise. +He thess let on thet Kit had to be did whe'r or no. So I ast the doctor +ef it would likely kill the cat, an' he said he reckoned not, though it +might sicken her a little. So I told him to go ahead. Well, sir, befo' +Sonny got thoo, he had had that cat an' both dogs vaccinated--but let it +tech hisself he would not. + +I was mighty sorry not to have it did, 'cause they was a nigger thet had +the smallpock down to Cedar Branch, fifteen mile away, an' he didn't +die, neither. He got well. An' they say when they git well they're more +fatal to a neighborhood 'n when they die. + +That was fo' months ago now, but to this day ever' time the wind blows +from sou'west I feel oneasy, an' try to entice Sonny to play on the far +side o' the house. + +Well, sir, in about ten days after that we was the down-in-the-mouthest +crowd on that farm, man an' beast, thet you ever see. Ever' last one o' +them vaccinations took, sir, an' took severe, from the cat up. + +But I reckon we 're all safe-t guarded now. They ain't nothin' on the +place thet can fetch it to Sonny, an' I trust, with care, he may never +be exposed. + +But I set out to tell you about Sonny's christenin' an' us turnin' +'Piscopal. Ez I said, he never seemed to want baptism, though he had +heard us discuss all his life both it an' vaccination ez the two ordeels +to be gone thoo with some time, an' we'd speculate ez to whether +vaccination would take or not, an' all sech ez that, an' then, ez +I said, after he see what the vaccination was, why he was even mo' +prejudyced agin' baptism 'n ever, an' we 'lowed to let it run on tell +sech a time ez he'd decide what name he'd want to take an' what +denomination he'd want to bestow it on him. + +Wife, she's got some 'Piscopal relations thet she sort o' looks up +to,--though she don't own it,--but she was raised Methodist an' I was +raised a true-blue Presbyterian. But when we professed after Sonny come +we went up together at Methodist meetin'. What we was after was +righteous livin', an' we didn't keer much which denomination helped us +to it. + +An' so, feelin' friendly all roun' that-a-way, we thought we'd leave +Sonny to pick his church when he got ready, an' then they wouldn't be +nothin' to undo or do over in case he went over to the 'Piscopals, which +has the name of revisin' over any other church's performances--though +sence we've turned 'Piscopals we've found out that ain't so. + +Of co'se the preachers, they used to talk to us about it once-t in a +while,--seemed to think it ought to be did,--'ceptin', of co'se, the +Baptists. + +Well, sir, it went along so till last week. Sonny ain't but, ez I said, +thess not quite six year old, an' they seemed to be time enough. But +last week he had been playin' out o' doors bare-feeted, thess same ez he +always does, an' he tramped on a pine splinter some way. Of co'se, pine, +it's the safe-t-est splinter a person can run into a foot, on account +of its carryin' its own turpentine in with it to heal up things; but +any splinter thet dast to push itself up into a little pink foot is a +messenger of trouble, an' we know it. An' so, when we see this one, we +tried ever' way to coax him to let us take it out, but he wouldn't, of +co'se. He never will, an' somehow the Lord seems to give 'em ambition to +work their own way out mos' gen'ally. + +But, sir, this splinter didn't seem to have no energy in it. It thess +lodged there, an' his little foot it commenced to swell, an' it swole +an' swole tell his little toes stuck out so thet the little pig thet +went to market looked like ez ef it wasn't on speakin' terms with the +little pig thet stayed home, an' wife an' me we watched it, an' I reckon +she prayed over it consider'ble, an' I read a extry psalm at night befo' +I went to bed, all on account o' that little foot. An' night befo' las' +it was lookin' mighty angry an' swole, an' he had limped an' "ouched!" +consider'ble all day, an' he was mighty fretful bed-time. So, after he +went to sleep, wife she come out on the po'ch where I was settin', and +she says to me, says she, her face all drawed up an' workin', says she: +"Honey," says she, "I reckon we better sen' for him an' have it did." +Thess so, she said it. "Sen' for who, wife?" says I, "an' have what +did?" "Why, sen' for him, the 'Piscopal preacher," says she, "an' have +Sonny christened. Them little toes o' hisn is ez red ez cherry tomatoes. +They burnt my lips thess now like a coal o' fire an'--an' lockjaw is +goin' roun' tur'ble. + +"Seems to me," says she, "when he started to git sleepy, he didn't gap +ez wide ez he gen'ly does--an' I'm 'feered he's a-gittin' it now." An', +sir, with that, she thess gathered up her apron an' mopped her face in +it an' give way. An' ez for me, I didn't seem to have no mo' backbone +down my spinal colume 'n a feather bolster has, I was that weak. + +I never ast her why she didn't sen' for our own preacher. I knowed then +ez well ez ef she'd 'a' told me why she done it--all on account o' Sonny +bein' so tickled over the 'Piscopals' meetin's. + +It was mos' nine o'clock then, an' a dark night, an' rainin', but I +never said a word--they wasn't no room round the edges o' the lump in my +throat for words to come out ef they'd 'a' been one surgin' up there to +say, which they wasn't--but I thess went out an' saddled my horse an' I +rid into town. Stopped first at the doctor's an' sent him out, though I +knowed 't wouldn't do no good; Sonny wouldn't 'low him to tech it; but +I sent him out anyway, to look at it, an', ef possible, console wife a +little. Then I rid on to the rector's an' ast him to come out immejate +an' baptize Sonny. But nex' day was his turn to preach down at Sandy +Crik, an' he couldn't come that night, but he promised to come right +after services nex' mornin'--which he done--rid the whole fo'teen mile +from Sandy Crik here in the rain, too, which I think is a evidence o' +Christianity, though no sech acts is put down in my book o' "evidences" +where they ought rightfully to be. + +Well, sir, when I got home that night, I found wife a heap cheerfuler. +The doctor had give Sonny a big apple to eat an' pernounced him free +from all symptoms o' lockjaw. But when I come the little feller had +crawled 'way back under the bed an' lay there, eatin' his apple, an' +they couldn't git him out. Soon ez the doctor had teched a poultice to +his foot he had woke up an' put a stop to it, an' then he had went off +by hisself where nothin' couldn't pester him, to enjoy his apple in +peace. An' we never got him out tell he heered us tellin' the doctor +good-night. + +I tried ever' way to git him out--even took up a coal o' fire an' poked +it under at him; but he thess laughed at that an' helt his apple agin' +it an' made it sizz. Well, sir, he seemed so tickled thet I helt that +coal o' fire for him tell he cooked a good big spot on one side o' the +apple, an' et it, an' then, when I took it out, he called for another, +but I didn't give it to him. I don't see no use in over-indulgin' a +child. An' when he knowed the doctor was gone, he come out an' finished +roastin' his apple by the fire--thess what was left of it 'round the +co'e. + +Well, sir, we was mightily comforted by the doctor's visit, but nex' +mornin' things looked purty gloomy ag'in. That little foot seemed a heap +worse, an' he was sort o' flushed an' feverish, an' wife she thought she +heard a owl hoot, an' Rover made a mighty funny gurgly sound in his +th'oat like ez ef he had bad news to tell us, but didn't have the +courage to speak it. + +An' then, on top o' that, the nigger Dicey, she come in an' 'lowed she +had dreamed that night about eatin' spare-ribs, which everybody knows to +dream about fresh pork out o' season, which this is July, is considered +a shore sign o' death. Of co'se, wife an' me, we don't b'lieve in no +sech ez that, but ef you ever come to see yo' little feller's toes stand +out the way Sonny's done day befo' yesterday, why, sir, you'll be ready +to b'lieve anything. It's so much better now, you can't judge of its +looks day befo' yesterday. We never had even so much ez considered it +necessary thet little children should be christened to have 'em saved, +but when things got on the ticklish edge, like they was then, why, we +felt thet the safest side is the wise side, an', of co'se, we want Sonny +to have the best of everything. So, we was mighty thankful when we see +the rector comin'. But, sir, when I went out to open the gate for him, +what on top o' this round hemisp'ere do you reckon Sonny done? Why, +sir, he thess took one look at the gate an' then he cut an' run hard +ez he could--limped acrost the yard thess like a flash o' zig-zag +lightnin'--an' 'fore anybody could stop him, he had clumb to the tip top +o' the butter-bean arbor--clumb it thess like a cat--an' there he set, +a-swingin' his feet under him, an' laughin', the rain thess a-streakin' +his hair all over his face. + +That bean arbor is a favoryte place for him to escape to, 'cause it's +too high to reach, an' it ain't strong enough to bear no grown-up +person's weight. + +Well, sir, the rector, he come in an' opened his valise an' 'rayed +hisself in his robes an' opened his book, an' while he was turnin' the +leaves, he faced 'round an' says he, lookin' at me _di_rec', says he: + +"Let the child be brought forward for baptism," says he, thess +that-a-way. + +Well, sir, I looked at wife, an' wife, she looked at me, an' then we +both thess looked out at the butter-bean arbor. + +I knowed then thet Sonny wasn't never comin' down while the rector was +there, an' rector, he seemed sort o' fretted for a minute when he see +how things was, an' he did try to do a little settin' fo'th of opinions. +He 'lowed, speakin' in a mighty pompious manner, thet holy things wasn't +to be trifled with, an' thet he had come to baptize the child accordin' +to the rites o' the church. + + +[Illustration: "Name this child."] + + +Well, that sort o' talk, it thess rubbed me the wrong way, an' I up an' +told him thet that might be so, but thet the rites o' the church didn't +count for nothin', on our farm, to the rights o' the boy! + +I reckon it was mighty disrespec'ful o' me to face him that-a-way, an' +him adorned in all his robes, too, but I'm thess a plain up-an'-down man +an' I hadn't went for him to come an' baptize Sonny to uphold the +granjer of no church. I was ready to do that when the time come, but +right now we was workin' in Sonny's interests, an' I intended to have it +understood that way. An' it was. + +Rector, he's a mighty good, kind-hearted man, git down to the man inside +the preacher, an' when he see thess how things stood, why, he come +'round friendly, an' he went out on the po'ch an' united with us in +tryin' to help coax Sonny down. First started by promisin' him speritual +benefits, but he soon see that wasn't no go, and he tried worldly +persuasion; but no, sir, stid o' him comin' down, Sonny started orderin' +the rest of us christened thess the way he done about the vaccination. +But, of co'se, we had been baptized befo', an' we nachelly helt out +agin' that for some time. But d'rec'ly rector, he seemed to have a +sudden idee, an' says he, facin' 'round, church-like, to wife an' me, +says he: + +"Have you both been baptized accordin' to the rites o' the church?" + +An' me, thinkin' of co'se he meant the 'Piscopal Church, says: "No, +sir," says I, thess so. And then we see that the way was open for us to +be did over ag'in ef we wanted to. So, sir, wife an' me we was took into +the church, then an' there. We wouldn't a yielded to him, thoo an' thoo, +that-a-way ag'in ef his little foot hadn't a' been so swole, an' he +maybe takin' his death o' cold settin' out in the po'in'-down rain; but +things bein' as they was, we went thoo it with all due respects. + +Then he commenced callin' for Dicey, an' the dog, an' the cat, to be +did, same ez he done befo'; but, of co'se, they's some liberties thet +even a innocent child can't take with the waters o' baptism, an' the +rector he got sort o' wo'e-out and disgusted an' 'lowed thet 'less'n +we could get the child ready for baptism he'd haf to go home. + +Well, sir, I knowed we wouldn't never git 'im down, an' I had went for +the rector to baptize him, an' I intended to have it did, ef possible. +So, says I, turnin' 'round an' facin' him square, says I: "Rector," says +I, "why not baptize him where he is? I mean it. The waters o' Heaven are +descendin' upon him where he sets, an' seems to me ef he's favo'bly +situated for anything it is for baptism." Well, parson, he thess looked +at me up an' down for a minute, like ez ef he s'picioned I was wanderin' +in my mind, but he didn't faze me. I thess kep' up my argiment. Says I: +"Parson," says I, speakin' thess ez ca'm ez I am this minute--"Parson," +says I, "his little foot is mighty swole, an' so'e, an' that +splinter--thess s'pose he was to take the lockjaw an' die--don't you +reckon you might do it where he sets--from where you stand?" + +Wife, she was cryin' by this time, an' parson, he claired his th'oat an' +coughed, an' then he commenced walkin' up an' down, an' treckly he +stopped, an' says he, speakin' mighty reverential an' serious: + +"Lookin' at this case speritually, an' as a minister o' the Gospel," +says he, "it seems to me thet the question ain't so much a question of +_doin'_ ez it is a question of _withholdin'_. I don't know," says he, +"ez I've got a right to withhold the sacrament o' baptism from a child +under these circumstances or to deny sech comfort to his parents ez lies +in my power to bestow." + +An', sir, with that he stepped out to the end o' the po'ch, opened +his book ag'in, an' holdin' up his right hand to'ards Sonny, settin' +on top o' the bean-arbor in the rain, he commenced to read the +service o' baptism, an' we stood proxies--which is a sort o' a dummy +substitutes--for whatever godfather an' mother Sonny see fit to choose +in after life. + +Parson, he looked half like ez ef he'd laugh once-t. When he had thess +opened his book and started to speak, a sudden streak o' sunshine shot +out an' the rain started to ease up, an' it looked for a minute ez ef he +was goin' to lose the baptismal waters. But d'rec'ly it come down stiddy +ag'in an he' went thoo the programme entire. + +An' Sonny, he behaved mighty purty; set up perfec'ly ca'm an' composed +thoo it all, an' took everything in good part, though he didn't +p'intedly know who was bein' baptized, 'cause, of co'se, he couldn't +hear the words with the rain in his ears. + +He didn't rightly sense the situation tell it come to the part where it +says: "Name this child," and, of co'se, I called out to Sonny to name +hisself, which it had always been our intention to let him do. + +"Name yo'self, right quick, like a good boy," says I. + +Of co'se Sonny had all his life heered me say thet I was Deuteronomy +Jones, Senior, an' thet I hoped some day when he got christened he'd be +the junior. He knowed that by heart, an' would agree to it or dispute +it, 'cordin' to how the notion took him, and I sort o' ca'culated thet +he'd out with it now. But no, sir! Not a word! He thess sot up on thet +bean-arbor an' grinned. + +An' so, feelin' put to it, with the services suspended over my head, I +spoke up, an' I says: "Parson," says I, "I reckon ef he was to speak his +little heart, he'd say Deuteronomy Jones, Junior." An' with thet what +does Sonny do but conterdic' me flat! "No, not Junior! I want to be +named Deuteronomy Jones, Senior!" says he, thess so. An' parson, he +looked to'ards me, an' I bowed my head an' he pernouneed thess one +single name, "Deuteronomy," an' I see he wasn't goin' to say no more an' +so I spoke up quick, an' says I: "Parson," says I, "he has spoke his +heart's desire. He has named hisself after me entire--Deuteronomy Jones, +Senior." + +An' so he was obligated to say it, an' so it is writ in the family +record colume in the big Bible, though I spelt his Senior with a little +s, an' writ him down ez the only son of the Senior with the big S, which +it seems to me fixes it about right for the time bein'. + + +[Illustration: "An' then Sonny, seein' it all over, he come down."] + + +Well, when the rector had got thoo an' he had wropped up his robes an' +put 'em in his wallet, an' had told us to prepare for conformation, he +pernounced a blessin' upon us an' went. + +Then Sonny seein' it was all over, why, _he come down_. He was wet ez a +drownded rat, but wife rubbed him off an' give him some hot tea an' he +come a-snuggin' up in my lap, thess ez sweet a child ez you ever see in +yo' life, an' I talked to him ez fatherly ez I could, told him we was +all 'Piscopals now, an' soon ez his little foot got well I was goin' to +take him out to Sunday-school to tote a banner--all his little 'Piscopal +friends totes banners--an' thet he could pick out some purty candles for +the altar, an' he 'lowed immejate thet he'd buy pink ones. Sonny always +was death on pink--showed it from the time he could snatch a pink +rose--an' wife she ain't never dressed him in nothin' else. Ever' pair +o' little breeches he's got is either pink or pink-trimmed. + +Well, I talked along to him till I worked 'round to shamin' him a little +for havin' to be christened settin' up on top a bean-arbor, same ez a +crow-bird, which I told him the parson he wouldn't 'a' done ef he 'd 'a' +felt free to 've left it undone. 'Twasn't to indulge him he done it, but +to bless him an' to comfort our hearts. Well, after I had reasoned with +him severe that-a-way a while, he says, says he, thess ez sweet an' +mild, says he, "Daddy, nex' time y'all gits christened, I'll come down +an' be elms-tened right--like a good boy." + +Th' ain't a sweeter child in'ardly 'n what Sonny is, nowheres, git him +to feel right comf'table, an' I know it, an' that's why I have patience +with his little out'ard ways. + +"Yes, sir," says he; "nex' time I 'll be christened like a good boy." + +Then, of co'se, I explained to him thet it couldn't never be did no mo', +'cause it had been did, an' did 'Piscopal, which is secure. An' then +what you reckon the little feller said? + +Says he, "Yes, daddy, but _s'pos'in' mine don't take_. How 'bout that?" + +An' I didn't try to explain no further. What was the use? Wife, she had +drawed a stool close-t up to my knee, an' set there sortin' out the +little yaller rings ez they 'd dry out on his head, an' when he said +that I thess looked at her an' we both looked at him, an' says I, +"Wife," says I, "ef they's anything in heavenly looks an' behavior, I +b'lieve that christenin' is started to take on him a'ready." + +An' I b'lieve it had. + + + + +SONNY'S SCHOOLIN' + +[Illustration: 'S'] + +Well, sir, we're tryin' to edjercate him--good ez we can. Th' ain't +never been a edjercational advantage come in reach of us but we've give +it to him. Of co'se he's all we've got, that one boy is, an' wife an' +me, why, we feel the same way about it. + +They's three schools in the county, not countin' the niggers', an' we +send him to all three. + +Sir? Oh, yas, sir; he b'longs to all three schools--to fo' for that +matter, countin' the home school. + +You see, Sonny he's purty ticklish to handle, an' a person has to know +thess how to tackle him. Even wife an' me, thet's been knowin' him +f'om the beginnin', not only knowin' his traits, but how he come by +'em,--though some is hard to trace to their so'ces,--why, sir, even +we have to study sometimes to keep in with him, an' of co'se a +teacher--why, it's thess hit an' miss whether he'll take the right tack +with him or not; an' sometimes one teacher'll strike it one day, an' +another nex' day; so by payin' schoolin' for him right along in all +three, why, of co'se, ef he don't feel like goin' to one, why, he'll +go to another. + +Once-t in a while he'll git out with the whole of 'em, an' that was +how wife come to open the home school for him. She was determined his +edjercation shouldn't be interrupted ef she could help it. She don't +encour'ge him much to go to her school, though, 'cause it interrupts her +in her housekeepin' consider'ble, an' she's had extry quilt-patchin' on +hand ever since he come. She's patchin' him a set 'ginst the time he'll +marry. + +'An' then I reckon he frets her a good deal in school. Somehow, seems +like he thess picks up enough in the other schools to be able to +conterdic' her ways o' teachin'. + +F' instance, in addin' up a colume o' figgers, ef she comes to a +aught--which some calls 'em naughts--she'll say, "Aught's a aught," an' +Sonny ain't been learned to say it that a-way; an' so maybe when she +says, "Aught's a aught," he'll say, "Who said it wasn't!" an' that puts +her out in countin'. + +He's been learned to thess pass over aughts an' not call their names; +and once-t or twice-t, when wife called 'em out that a-way, why, he got +so fretted he thess gethered up his things an' went to another school. +But seem like she's added aughts that a-way so long she can't think to +add 'em no other way. + +I notice nights after she's kept school for Sonny all day she talks +consider'ble in her sleep, an' she says, "Aught's a aught" about ez +often ez she says anything else. + +Oh, yas, sir; he's had consider'ble fusses with his teachers, one way +an' another, but they ever'one declare they think a heap of 'im. + +Sir? Oh, yas, sir; of co'se they all draw their reg'lar pay whether he's +a day in school du'in' the month or not. That's right enough, 'cause you +see they don't know what day he's li'ble to drop in on 'em, an' it's +worth the money thess a-keepin' their nerves strung for 'im. + +Well, yas, sir; 't is toler'ble expensive, lookin' at it one way, +but lookin' at it another, it don't cost no mo' 'n what it would to +edjercate three child'en, which many poor families have to do--_an' +more_--which in our united mind Sonny's worth 'em all. + +Yas, sir; 't is confusin' to him in some ways, goin' to all three +schools at once-t. + +F' instance, Miss Alviry Sawyer, which she's a single-handed maiden lady +'bout wife's age, why, of co'se, she teaches accordin' to the old rules; +an' in learnin' the child'en subtraction, f' instance, she'll tell 'em, +ef they run short to borry one f'om the nex' lef' han' top figur', an' +pay it back to the feller underneath him. + +Well, this didn't suit Sonny's sense o' jestice no way, borryin' from +one an' payin' back to somebody else; so he thess up an argued about +it--told her thet fellers thet borried nickels f'om one another couldn't +pay back that a-way; an' of co'se she told him they was heap o' +difference 'twix' money and 'rithmetic--which I wish't they was more in +my experience; an' so they had it hot and heavy for a while, till at +last she explained to him thet that way of doin' subtraction _fetched +the answer_, which, of co'se, ought to satisfy any school-boy; an' I +reckon Sonny would soon 'a' settled into that way 'ceptin' thet he got +out o' patience with that school in sev'al ways, an' he left an' went +out to Sandy Crik school, and it thess happened that he struck a +subtraction class there the day he got in, an' they was workin' it the +_other_ way--borry one from the top figur' an' never pay it back at all, +thess count it off (that's the way I 've worked my lifelong subtraction, +though wife does hers payin' back), an' of co'se Sonny was ready to +dispute this way, an' he didn't have no mo' tac' than to th'ow up Miss +Alviry's way to the teacher, which of co'se he wouldn't stand, +particular ez Miss Alviry's got the biggest school. So they broke up in +a row, immejate, and Sonny went right along to Miss Kellogg's school +down here at the cross-roads. + +She's a sort o' reformed teacher, I take it; an' she gets at her +subtraction by a new route altogether--like ez ef the first feller thet +had any surplus went sort o security for them thet was short, an' passed +the loan down the line. But I noticed he never got his money back, for +when they come to him, why, they docked him. I reckon goin' security is +purty much the same in an out o' books. She passes the borryin' along +some way till it gits to headquarters, an' writes a new row o' figur's +over the heads o' the others. Well, my old brain got so addled watchin' +Sonny work it thet I didn't seem to know one figur' f'om another 'fo' he +got thoo; but when I see the answer come, why, I was satisfied. Ef a man +can thess git his answers right all his life, why nobody ain't a-goin' +to pester him about how he worked his figur's. + +I did try to get Sonny to stick to one school for each rule in +'rithmetic, an' havin' thess fo' schools, why he could learn each o' the +fo' rules by one settled plan. But he wont promise nothin'. He'll quit +for lessons one week, and maybe next week somethin' else 'll decide him. +(He's quit ever' one of 'em in turn when they come to long division.) +He went thoo a whole week o' disagreeable lessons once-t at one school +'cause he was watchin' a bird-nest on the way to that school. He was +determined them young birds was to be allowed to leave that nest without +bein' pestered, an' they stayed so long they purty nigh run him into +long division 'fo' they did fly. Ef he'd 'a' missed school one day he +knowed two sneaky chaps thet would 'a' robbed that nest, either goin' +or comin'. + +Of co'se Sonny goes to the exhibitions an' picnics of all the schools. +Last summer we had a time of it when it come picnic season. Two schools +set the same day for theirs, which of co'se wasn't no ways fair to +Sonny. He payin' right along in all the schools, of co'se he was +entitled to all the picnics; so I put on my Sunday clo'es, an' I went +down an' had it fixed right. They all wanted Sonny, too, come down to +the truth, 'cause besides bein' fond of him, they knowed thet Sonny +always fetched a big basket. + + +[Illustration: "He was watchin' a bird-nest on the way to that school."] + + +Trouble with Sonny is thet he don't take nothin' on nobody's say-so, +don't keer who it is. He even commenced to dispute Moses one Sunday when +wife was readin' the Holy Scriptures to him, tell of co'se she made him +understand thet that wouldn't do. Moses didn't intend to _be_ +conterdicted. + +An' ez to secular lessons, he ain't got no espec' for 'em whatsoever. +F' instance, when the teacher learned him thet the world was round, why +he up an' told him _'t warn't so_, less'n we was on the inside an' it +was blue-lined, which of co'se teacher he insisted thet we was _on the +outside_, walkin' over it, all feet todes the center--a thing I've +always thought myself was mo' easy said than proved. + +Well, sir, Sonny didn't hesitate to deny it, an' of co'se teacher he +commenced by givin' him a check--which is a bad mark--for conterdictin'. +An' then Sonny he 'lowed thet he didn't conterdic' to _be_ +aconterdictin', but he _knowed't_ warn't so. He had walked the whole +len'th o' the road 'twix' the farm an' the school-house, an' they warn't +_no bulge in it_; an' besides, he hadn't never saw over the edges of it. + +An' with that teacher he give him another check for speakin' out o' +turn. An' then Sonny, says he, "Ef a man was tall enough he could see +around the edges, couldn't he?" "No," says the teacher; "a man couldn't +grow that tall," says he; "he'd be deformed." + +An' Sonny, why, he spoke up again, an' says he, "But I'm thess a-sayin' +_ef_," says he. "An' teacher," says he, "we ain't a-studyin' _efs_; +we're studyin' geoger'phy." And then Sonny they say he kep' still a +minute, an' then he says, says he, "Oh, maybe he couldn't see over the +edges, teacher, 'cause ef he was tall enough his head might reach up +into the flo' o' heaven." And with that teacher he give him another +check, an' told him not to dare to mix up geoger'phy an' religion, which +was a sackerlege to both studies; an' with that Sonny gethered up his +books an' set out to another school. + +I think myself it 'u'd be thess ez well ef Sonny wasn't quite so quick +to conterdic'; but it's thess his way of holdin' his p'int. + +Why, one day he faced one o' the teachers down thet two an' two didn't +_haf_ to make _fo_', wh'er or no. + +This seemed to tickle the teacher mightily, an' so he laughed an' told +him he was goin' to give him rope enough to hang hisself now, an' then +he dared him to show him any two an' two thet didn't make fo', and Sonny +says, says he, "Heap o' two an' twos don't make four, 'cause they're +kep' sep'rate," says he. + +"An' then," says he, "I don't want my two billy-goats harnessed up with +nobody else's two billys to make fo' billys." + +"But," says the teacher, "suppose I _was_ to harness up yo' two goats +with Tom Deems's two, there'd be fo' goats, I reckon, whether you wanted +'em there or not." + +"No they wouldn't," says Sonny. "They wouldn't be but two. 'T wouldn't +take my team more 'n half a minute to butt the life out o' Tom's team." + +An' with that little Tommy Deems, why, he commenced to cry, an' 'stid o' +punishin' him for bein' sech a cry-baby, what did the teacher do but +give Sonny another check, for castin' slurs on Tommy's animals, an' +gettin' Tommy's feelin's hurted! Which I ain't a-sayin' it on account o' +Sonny bein' my boy, but it seems to me was a mighty unfair advantage. + +No boy's feelin's ain't got no right to be that tender--an' a goat is +the last thing on earth thet could be injured by a word of mouth. + +Sonny's pets an' beasts has made a heap o' commotion in school one way +an' another, somehow. Ef 't ain't his goats it's somethin' else. + +Sir! Sonny's pets? Oh, they're all sorts. He ain't no ways partic'lar +thess so a thing is po' an' miser'ble enough. That's about all he seems +to require of anything. + +He don't never go to school hardly 'thout a garter-snake or two or a +lizard or a toad-frog somewheres about him. He's got some o' the little +girls at school that nervous thet if he thess shakes his little sleeve +at 'em they'll squeal, not knowin' what sort o' live critter'll jump out +of it. + +Most of his pets is things he's got by their bein' hurted some way. + +One of his toad-frogs is blind of a eye. Sonny rescued him from the old +red rooster one day after he had nearly pecked him to death, an' he had +him hoppin' round the kitchen for about a week with one eye bandaged up. + +When a hurted critter gits good an' strong he gen'ally turns it loose +ag'in; but ef it stays puny, why he reg'lar 'dopts it an' names it +Jones. That's thess a little notion o' his, namin' his pets the family +name. + +The most outlandish thing he ever 'dopted, to my mind, is that old +yaller cat. That was a miser'ble low-down stray cat thet hung round the +place a whole season, an' Sonny used to vow he was goin' to kill it, +'cause it kep' a-ketchin' the birds. + +Well, one day he happened to see him thess runnin' off with a young +mockin'-bird in his mouth, an' he took a brickbat an' he let him have +it, an' of co'se he dropped the bird an' tumbled over--stunted. The bird +it got well, and Sonny turned him loose after a few days; but that cat +was hurted fatal. He couldn't never no mo' 'n drag hisself around from +that day to this; an' I reckon ef Sonny was called on to give up every +pet he's got, that cat would be 'bout the last thing he'd surrender. He +named him Tommy Jones, an' he never goes to school of a mornin', rain or +shine, till Tommy Jones is fed f'om his own plate with somethin' he's +left for him special. + +Of co'se Sonny he's got his faults, which anybody 'll tell you; but th' +ain't a dumb brute on the farm but'll foller him around--an' the nigger +Dicey, why, she thinks they never was such another boy born into the +world--that is, not no human child. + +An' wife an' me-- + +But of co'se he's ours. + +I don't doubt thet he ain't constructed thess exac'ly ez the +school-teachers would have him, ef they had their way. Sometimes I have +thought I'd like his disposition eased up a little, myself, when he +taken a stand ag'in my jedgment or wife's. + +Takin' 'em all round, though, the teachers has been mighty patient with +him. + +At one school the teacher did take him out behind the school-house one +day to whup him; an' although teacher is a big strong man, Sonny's +mighty wiry an' quick, an' some way he slipped his holt, an' fo' teacher +could ketch him ag'in he had clumb up the lightnin'-rod on to the roof +thess like a cat. An' teacher he felt purty shore of him then, 'cause he +'lowed they wasn't no other way to git down (which they wasn't, the +school bein' a steep-sided buildin'), an' he 'd wait for him. + +So teacher he set down close-t to the lightnin'-rod to wait. He wouldn't +go back in school without him, cause he didn't want the child'en to know +he'd got away. So down he set; but he hadn't no mo' 'n took his seat +sca'cely when he heerd the child'en in school roa'in' out loud, laughin' +fit to kill theirselves. + +He lowed at first thet like ez not the monitor was cuttin' up some sort +o' didoes, the way monitors does gen'ally, so he waited a-while; but it +kep' a-gittin' worse, so d'rectly he got up, an' he went in to see what +the excitement was about; an'lo and beholt! Sonny had slipped down the +open chimbly right in amongst 'em--come out a-grinnin', with his face +all sooted over, an', says he, "Say, fellers," says he, "I run up the +lightnin'-rod, an' he's a-waitin' for me to come down." An' with that he +went an' gethered up his books, deliberate, an'fetched his hat, an' +picked up a nest o' little chimbly-swallows he had dislodged in comin' +down (all this here it happened thess las' June), an' he went out an' +harnessed up his goat-wagon, an' got in. An' thess ez he driv' out the +school-yard into the road the teacher come in, an' he see how things +was. + +Of co'se sech conduct ez that is worrisome, but I don't see no, to say, +bad principle in it. Sonny ain't got a bad habit on earth, not a-one. +They'll ever' one o' the teachers tell you that. He ain't never been +knowed to lie, an' ez for improper language, why he wouldn't know how to +select it. An' ez to tattlin' at home about what goes on in school, why, +he never has did it. The only way we knowed about him comin' down the +school-house chimbly was wife went to fetch his dinner to him, an' she +found it out. + + +[Illustration: "He had been playin' out o' doors bare-feeted."] + + +She knowed he had went to that school in the mornin', an' when she +got there at twelve o'clock, why he wasn't there, an' of co'se she +questioned the teacher, an' he thess told her thet Sonny had been +present at the mornin' session, but thet he was now absent. An' the +rest of it she picked out o' the child'en. + +Oh, no, sir; she don't take his dinner to him reg'lar--only some days +when she happens to have somethin' extry good, or maybe when she +'magines he didn't eat hearty at breakfast. The school-child'en they +always likes to see her come, because she gen'ally takes a extry lot o' +fried chicken thess for him to give away. He don't keer much for nothin' +but livers an' gizzards, so we have to kill a good many to get enough +for him; an' of co'se the fryin' o' the rest of it is mighty little +trouble. + +Sonny is a bothersome child one way: he don't never want to take his +dinner to school with him. Of co'se thess after eatin' breakfas' he +don't feel hungry, an' when wife does coax him to take it, he'll seem to +git up a appetite walkin' to school, an' he'll eat it up 'fo' he gits +there. + +Sonny's got a mighty noble disposition, though, take him all round. + +Now, the day he slipped down that chimbly an' run away he wasn't a bit +flustered, an' he didn't play hookey the balance of the day neither. He +thess went down to the crik, an' washed the soot off his face, though +they say he didn't no more 'n smear it round, an' then he went down to +Miss Phoebe's school, an' stayed there till it was out. An' she took him +out to the well, an' washed his face good for him. But nex' day he up +an' went back to Mr. Clark's school--walked in thess ez pleasant an' +kind, an' taken his seat an' said his lessons--never th'owed it up to +teacher at all. Now, some child'en, after playin' off on a teacher that +a-way would a' took advantage, but he never. It was a fair fight, an' +Sonny whupped, an' that's all there was to it; an' he never put on no +air about it. + +Wife did threaten to go herself an' make the teacher apologize for +gittin' the little feller all sooted up an' sp'iln' his clo'es; but she +thought it over, an' she decided thet she wouldn't disturb things ez +long ez they was peaceful. An', after all, he didn't exac'ly send him +down the chimbly nohow, though he provoked him to it. + +Ef Sonny had 'a' fell an' hurted hisself, though, in that chimbly, I'd +'a' helt that teacher responsible, shore. + +Sonny says hisself thet the only thing he feels bad about in that +chimbly business is thet one o' the little swallers' wings was broke by +the fall. Sonny's got him yet, an' he's li'ble to keep him, cause he'll +never fly. Named him Swally Jones, an' reg'lar 'dopted him soon ez he +see how his wing was. + +Sonny's the only child I ever see in my life thet could take young +chimbly-swallers after their fall an' make em' live. But he does it +reg'lar. They ain't a week passes sca'cely but he fetches in some hurted +critter an' works with it. Dicey says thet half the time she's afeerd to +step around her cook-stove less'n she'll step on some critter thet's +crawled back to life where he's put it under the stove to hatch or thaw +out, which she bein' bare-feeted, I don't wonder at. + +An' he has did the same way at school purty much. It got so for a-while +at one school thet not a child in school could be hired to put his hand +in the wood-box, not knowin' ef any piece o' bark or old wood in it +would turn out to be a young alligator or toad-frog thawin' out. Teacher +hisself picked up a chip, reckless, one day, an' it hopped up, and +knocked off his spectacles. Of cose it wasn't no chip. Hopper-toad frogs +an' wood-bark chips, why, they favors consider'ble--lay 'em same side +up. + +It was on account o' her takin' a interest in all his little beasts +an' varmints thet he first took sech a notion to Miss Phoebe Kellog's +school. Where any other teacher would scold about sech things ez he'd +fetch in, why, she'd encourage him to bring 'em to her; an' she'd fix +a place for 'em, an' maybe git out some book tellin' all about 'em, an' +showin' pictures of 'em. + +She's had squir'l-books, an' bird-books, an' books on nearly every sort +o' wild critter you'd think too mean to _put_ into a book, at that +school, an' give the child'en readin'-lessons on 'em an' drawin'-lessons +an' clay-moldin' lessons. + +Why, Sonny has did his alligator so nach'l in clay thet you'd most +expec' to see it creep away. An' you'd think mo' of alligators forever +afterward, too. An' ez to readin', he never did take no interest in +learnin' how to read out'n them school-readers, which he declares don't +no more'n git a person interested in one thing befo' they start on +another, an' maybe start _that_ in the middle. + +The other teachers, they makes a heap o' fun o' Miss Phoebe's way +o' school-teachin', 'cause she lets the child'en ask all sorts of +outlandish questions, an' make pictures in school hours, an' she +don't requi' 'em to fold their arms in school, neither. + +Maybe she is foolin' their time away. I can't say ez I exac'ly see how +she's a workin' it to edjercate 'em that a-way. I had to set with my +arms folded eight hours a day in school when I was a boy, to learn the +little I know, an' wife she got her edjercation the same way. An' we +went clean thoo f'om the _a-b abs_ an' _e-b ebs_ clair to the end o' the +blue-back speller. + +An' we learned to purnounce a heap mo' words than either one of us has +ever needed to know, though there has been times, sech ez when my wife's +mother took the phthisic an' I had the asthma, thet I was obligated to +write to the doctor about it, thet I was thankful for my experience in +the blue-back speller. Them was our brag-words, phthisic and asthma was. +They's a few other words I've always hoped to have a chance to spell in +the reg'lar co'se of life, sech ez y-a-c-h-t, yacht, but I suppose, +livin' in a little inland town, which a yacht is a boat, a person +couldn't be expected to need sech a word--less'n he went travelin'. + +I've often thought thet ef at the Jedgment the good Lord would only +examine me an' all them thet went to school in my day, in the old +blue-back speller 'stid o' tacklin' us on the weak pints of our pore +mortal lives, why, we'd stand about ez good a chance o' gettin' to +heaven ez anybody else. An' maybe He will--who knows? + +But ez for book-readin', wife an' me aint never felt called on to read +no book save an' exceptin' the Holy Scriptures--an', of cose, the seed +catalogues. + +An' here Sonny, not quite twelve year old, has read five books thoo, an' +some of 'em twice-t an' three times over. His "Robinson Crusoe" shows +mo' wear'n tear'n what my Testament does, I'm ashamed to say. I've done +give Miss Phoebe free license to buy him any book she wants him to have, +an' he's got 'em all 'ranged in a row on the end o' the mantel-shelf. + +Quick ez he'd git thoo readin' a book, of co'se wife she'd be for +dustin' it off and puttin' up on the top closet shelf where a book +nach'ally belongs; but seem like Sonny he wants to keep 'em in sight. +So wife she'd worked a little lace shelf-cover to lay under 'em, an' +we've hung our framed marriage-c'tificate above 'em, an' the corner +looks right purty, come to see it fixed up. + +Sir? Oh, no; we ain't took him from none o' the other schools yet. He's +been goin' to Miss Phoebe's reg'lar now--all but the exhibition an' +picnic days in the other schools--for nearly five months, not countin' +off-an'-on days he went to her befo' he settled down to it stiddy. + +He says he's a-goin' there reg'lar from this time on, an' I b'lieve he +will; but wife an' me we talked it over, an' we decided we'd let things +stand, an' keep his name down on all the books till sech a time ez he +come to long division with Miss Kellog. + +An' ef he stays thoo that, we'll feel free to notify the other schools +thet he's quit. + + + + +SONNY'S DIPLOMA + +[Illustration: 'Y'] + + +Yas, sir; this is it. This here's Sonny's diplomy thet you've heerd so +much about--sheepskin they call it, though it ain't no mo' sheepskin 'n +what I am. I've skinned too many not to know. Thess to think o' little +Sonny bein' a grad'jate--an' all by his own efforts, too! It is a +plain-lookin' picture, ez you say, to be framed up in sech a fine gilt +frame; but it's worth it, an' I don't begrudge it to him. He picked out +that red plush hisself. He's got mighty fine taste for a country-raised +child, Sonny has. + +Seem like the oftener I come here an' stan' before it, the prouder I +feel, an' the mo' I can't reelize thet he done it. + +I'd 'a' been proud enough to've had him go through the reg'lar co'se +o' study, an' be awarded this diplomy, but to 've seen 'im thess walk +in an' demand it, the way he done, an' to prove his right in a fair +fight--why, it tickles me so thet I thess seem to git a spell o' the +giggles ev'y time I think about it. + +Sir? How did he do it? Why, I thought eve'ybody in the State of Arkansas +knowed how Sonny walked over the boa'd o' school directors, an' took a +diplomy in the face of Providence, at the last anniversary. + +I don't know thet I ought to say that either, for they never was a +thing done mo' friendly an' amiable on earth, on his part, than the +takin' of this dockiment. Why, no; of co'se he wasn't goin' to that +school--cert'n'y not. Ef he had b'longed to that school, they wouldn't +'a' been no question about it. He 'd 'a' thess gradj'ated with the +others. An' when he went there with his ma an' me, why, he'll tell you +hisself that he hadn't no mo' idee of gradj'atin' 'n what I have this +minute. + +An' when he riz up in his seat, an' announced his intention, why, you +could 'a' knocked me down with a feather. You see, it took me so sudden, +an' I didn't see thess how he was goin' to work it, never havin' been to +that school. + +Of co'se eve'ybody in the county goes to the gradj'atin', an' we was all +three settin' there watchin' the performances, not thinkin' of any +special excitement, when Sonny took this idee. + +It seems thet seein' all the other boys gradj'ate put him in the notion, +an' he felt like ez ef he ought to be a-gradj'atin', too. + +You see, he had went to school mo' or less with all them fellers, an' +he knowed thet they didn't, none o' 'em, know half ez much ez what he +did,--though, to tell the truth, he ain't never said sech a word, not +even to her or me,--an', seein' how easy they was bein' turned out, why, +he thess reelized his own rights--an' demanded 'em then an' there. + +Of co'se we know thet they is folks in this here community thet says +thet he ain't got no right to this dipiomy; but what else could you +expect in a jealous neighborhood where eve'ybody is mo' or less kin? + +The way I look at it, they never was a diplomy earned quite so upright +ez this on earth--never. Ef it wasn't, why, I wouldn't allow him to have +it, no matter how much pride I would 'a' took, an' do take, in it. But +for a boy o' Sonny's age to've had the courage to face all them people, +an' ask to be examined then an' there, an' to come out ahead, the way he +done, why, it does me proud, that it does. + +You see, for a boy to set there seein' all them know-nothin' boys +gradj'ate, one after another, offhand, the way they was doin', was +mighty provokin', an' when Sonny is struck with a sense of injestice, +why, he ain't never been known to bear it in silence. He taken that from +_her_ side o' the house. + +I noticed, ez he set there that day, thet he begin to look toler'ble +solemn, for a festival, but it never crossed my mind what he was +a-projeckin' to do. Ef I had 'a' suspicioned it, I'm afeered I would've +opposed it, I'd 'a' been so skeert he wouldn't come out all right; an' +ez I said, I didn't see, for the life o' me, how he was goin' to work +it. + +That is the only school in the county thet he ain't never went to, +'cause it was started after he had settled down to Miss Phoebe's school. +He wouldn't hardly 'v went to it, nohow, though--less'n, of co'se, he 'd +'a' took a notion. Th' ain't no 'casion to send him to a county school +when he's the only one we've got to edjercate. They ain't been a thing +I've enjoyed ez much in my life ez my sackerfices on account o' Sonny's +edjercation--not a one. Th' ain't a patch on any ol' coat I've got but +seems to me to stand for some advantage to him. + +Well, sir, it was thess like I'm a-tellin' you. He set still ez long ez +he could, an' then he riz an' spoke. Says he, "I have decided thet I'd +like to do a little gradj'atin' this evenin' myself," thess that a-way. + +An' when he spoke them words, for about a minute you could 'a' heerd a +pin drop; an' then eve'ybody begin a-screechin' with laughter. A person +would think thet they'd 'a' had some consideration for a child standin' +up in the midst o' sech a getherin', tryin' to take his own part; but +they didn't. They thess laughed immod'rate. But they didn't faze him. +He had took his station on the flo', an' he helt his ground. + +Thess ez soon ez he could git a heerin', why, he says, says he: "I don't +want anybody to think thet I'm a-tryin' to take any advantage. I don't +expec' to gradj'ate without passin' my examination. An', mo' 'n that," +says he, "I am ready to pass it now." An' then he went on to explain +thet he would like to have anybody present _thet was competent to do it_ +to step forward an' examine him--then an' there. An' he said thet ef he +was examined fair and square, to the satisfaction of eve'ybody--_an' +didn't pass_--why, he 'd give up the p'int. An' he wanted to be examined +oral--in eve'ybody's hearin'--free-handed an' outspoke. + + +[Illustration: "Any question he missed was to be passed on to them thet +had been grad'jatin' so fast."] + + +Well, sir, seem like folks begin to see a little fun ahead in lettin' +him try it--which I don't see thess how they could 'a' hindered him, +an' it a free school, an' me a taxpayer. But they all seemed to be in a +pretty good humor by this time, an' when Sonny put it to vote, why, they +voted unanymous to let him try it. An' all o' them unanymous votes +wasn't, to say, friendly, neither. Heap o' them thet was loudest in +their unanimosity was hopefully expectin' to see him whipped out at the +first question. Tell the truth, I mo' 'n half feared to see it myself. +I was that skeert I was fairly all of a trimble. + +Well, when they had done votin', Sonny, after first thankin' 'em,--which +I think was a mighty polite thing to do, an' they full o' the giggles at +his little expense that minute,--why, he went on to say thet he requie'd +'em to make _thess one condition_, an' that was thet any question he +missed was to be passed on to them thet had been a-gradj'atin' so fast, +an' ef they missed it, it wasn't to be counted ag'inst him. + +Well, when he come out with that, which, to my mind, couldn't be beat +for fairness, why, some o' the mothers they commenced to look purty +serious, an' seem like ez ef they didn't find it quite so funny ez it +had been. You see, they _say_ thet them boys had eve'y one had reg'lar +questions give' out to 'em, an' eve'y last one had studied his own word; +an' ef they was to be questioned hit an' miss, why they wouldn't 'a' +stood no chance on earth. + +Of co'se they couldn't give Sonny the same questions thet had _been_ +give' out, because he had heerd the answers, an' it wouldn't 'a' been +fair. So Sonny he told 'em to thess set down, an' make out a list of +questions thet they'd all agree was about of a' equal hardness to them +thet had been ast, an' was of thess the kind of learnin' thet all the +reg'lar gradj'ates's minds was sto'ed with, an' thet either he knowed +'em or he didn't--one. + +It don't seem so excitin', somehow, when I tell about it now; but I tell +you for about a minute or so, whilst they was waitin' to see who would +undertake the job of examinin' him, why, it seemed thet eve'y minute +would be the next, ez my ol' daddy used to say. The only person present +thet seemed to take things anyway ca'm was Miss Phoebe Kellog, Sonny's +teacher. She has been teachin' him reg'lar for over two years now, an' +ef she had 'a' had a right to give diplomies, why, Sonny would 'a' thess +took out one from her; but she ain't got no license to gradj'ate nobody. +But she knowed what Sonny knowed, an' she knowed thet ef he had a fair +show, he'd come thoo creditable to all hands. She loves Sonny thess +about ez much ez we do, I believe, take it all round. Th' ain't never +been but one time in these two years thet she has, to say, got me out o' +temper, an' that was the day she said to me thet her sure belief was +thet Sonny was goin' to _make somethin' out'n hisself some day_--like ez +ef he hadn't already made mo' 'n could be expected of a boy of his age. +Tell the truth, I never in my life come so near sayin' somethin' I'd 'a' +been shore to regret ez I did on that occasion. But of co'se I know she +didn't mean it. All she meant was thet he would turn out even mo' 'n +what he was now, which would be on'y nachel, with his growth. + +Everybody knows thet it was her that got him started with his +collections an' his libr'y. Oh, yes; he's got the best libr'y in the +county, 'cep'n', of co'se, the doctor's 'n' the preacher's--everybody +round about here knows about that. He's got about a hund'ed books an' +over. Well, sir, when he made that remark, thet any question thet he +missed was to be give to the class, why, the whole atmosp'ere took on a +change o' temp'ature. Even the teacher was for backin' out o' the whole +business square; but he didn't thess seem to dare to say so. You see, +after him a-favorin' it, it would 'a' been a dead give-away. + +Eve'ybody there had saw him step over an' whisper to Brother Binney when +it was decided to give Sonny a chance, an' they knowed thet he had asked +_him_ to examine him. But now, instid o' callin' on Brother Binney, why, +he thess said, says he: "I suppose I ought not to shirk this duty. Ef +it's to be did," says he, "I reckon I ought to do it--an' do it I will." +You see, he daresn't allow Brother Binney to put questions, for fear +he'd call out some thet his smarty grad'jates couldn't answer. + +So he thess claired his th'oat, an' set down a minute to consider. An' +then he riz from his seat, an' remarked, with a heap o' _hems_ and +_haws_, thet of co'se everybody knowed thet Sonny Jones had had unusual +advantages in some respec's, but thet it was one thing for a boy to +spend his time a-picnickin' in the woods, getherin' all sorts of natural +curiosities, but it was quite another to be a scholar accordin' to +books, so's to be able to pass sech a' examination ez would be a credit +to a State institution o' learnin', sech ez the one over which he was +proud to preside. That word struck me partic'lar, "proud to preside," +which, in all this, of co'se, I see he was castin' a slur on Sonny's +collections of birds' eggs, an' his wild flowers, an' wood specimens, +an' min'rals. He even went so far ez to say thet ol' Proph', the +half-crazy nigger thet tells fortunes, an' gethers herbs out 'n the +woods, an' talks to hisself, likely knew more about a good many things +than anybody present, but thet, bein' ez he didn't know _b_ from a +bull's foot, why, it wouldn't hardly do to grad'jate him--not castin' no +slurs on Master Sonny Jones, nor makin' no invijus comparisons, of +co'se. + +Well, sir, there was some folks there thet seemed to think this sort o' +talk was mighty funny an' smart. Some o' the mothers acchilly giggled +over it out loud, they was so mightily tickled. But Sonny he thess stood +his ground an' waited. Most any boy o' his age would 'a' got flustered, +but he didn't. He thess glanced around unconcerned at all the people +a-settin' around him, thess like ez ef they might 'a' been askin' him to +a picnic instid o' him provokin' a whole school committee to wrath. + +Well, sir, it took that school-teacher about a half-hour to pick out the +first question, an' he didn't pick it out _then_. He 'd stop, an' he'd +look at the book, an' then he'd look at Sonny, an' then he'd look at the +class,--an' then he'd turn a page, like ez ef he couldn't make up his +mind, an' was afeerd to resk it, less'n it might be missed, an' be +referred back to the class. I never did see a man so overwrought +over a little thing in my life--never. They do say, though, that +school-teachers feels mighty bad when their scholars misses any p'int +in public. + +Well, sir, he took so long that d'reckly everybody begin to git wo'e +out, an' at last Sonny, why, he got tired, too, an' he up an' says, says +he, "Ef you can't make up your mind what to ask me, teacher, why 'n't +you let me ask myself questions? An' ef my questions seem too easy, why, +I'll put 'em to the class." + +An', sir, with that he thess turns round, an' he says, says he, "Sonny +Jones," says he, addressin' hisself, "what's the cause of total eclipses +of the sun?" Thess that a-way he said it; an' then he turned around, an' +he says, says he: + +"Is that a hard enough question?" + +"Very good," says teacher. + +An', with that, Sonny he up an' picks up a' orange an' a' apple off the +teacher's desk, an' says he, "This orange is the earth, an' this here +apple is the sun." An', with that, he explained all they is to total +eclipses. I can't begin to tell you thess how he expressed it, because I +ain't highly edjercated myself, an' I don't know the specifactions. But +when he had got thoo, he turned to the teacher, an' says he, "Is they +anything else thet you'd like to know about total eclipses?" An' teacher +says, says he, "Oh, no; not at all." + +They do say thet them graduates hadn't never went so far _ez_ total +eclipses, an' teacher wouldn't 'a' had the subject mentioned to 'em for +nothin'; but I don't say that's so. + +Well, then, Sonny he turned around, an' looked at the company, an' he +says, "Is everybody satisfied?" An' all the mothers an' fathers nodded +their heads "yes." + +An' then he waited thess a minute, an' he says, says he, "Well, now I'll +put the next question: + +"Sonny Jones," says he, "what is the difference between dew an' rain an' +fog an' hail an' sleet an' snow! + +"Is that a hard enough question?" + + +[Illustration: "'This orange is the earth, an' this here apple is the +sun.'"] + + +Well, from that he started in, an' he didn't stop tell he had expounded +about every kind of dampness that ever descended from heaven or rose +from the earth. An' after that, why, he went on a-givin' out one +question after another, an' answerin 'em, tell everybody had declared +theirselves entirely satisfied that he was fully equipped to +gradj'ate--an', tell the truth, I don't doubt thet a heap of 'em felt +their minds considerably relieved to have it safe-t over with without +puttin' their grad'jates to shame, when what does he do but say, "Well, +ef you're satisfied, why, I am--an' yet," says he, "I think I would like +to ask myself one or two hard questions more, thess to make shore." An' +befo' anybody could stop him, he had said: + +"Sonny Jones, what is the reason thet a bird has feathers and a dog has +hair?" An' then he turned around deliberate, an' answered: "I don't +know. Teacher, please put that question to the class." + +Teacher had kep' his temper purty well up to this time, but I see he was +mad now, an' he riz from his chair, an' says he: "This examination has +been declared finished, an' I think we have spent ez much time on it ez +we can spare." An' all the mothers they nodded their heads, an' started +a-whisperin'--most impolite. + +An' at that, Sonny, why, he thess set down as modest an' peaceable ez +anything; but ez he was settin' he remarked that he was in hopes thet +some o' the reg'lars would 'a' took time to answer a few questions thet +had bothered his mind f'om time to time--an' of c'ose they must know; +which, to my mind, was the modes'est remark a boy ever did make. + +Well, sir, that's the way this diplomy was earned--by a good, hard +struggle, in open daylight, by unanymous vote of all concerned--an' +unconcerned, for that matter. An' my opinion is thet if they are those +who have any private opinions about it, an' they didn't express 'em that +day, why they ain't got no right to do it underhanded, ez I am sorry to +say has been done. + +But it's _his_ diplomy, an' it's handsomer fixed up than any in town, +an' I doubt ef they ever was one _anywhere_ thet was took more paternal +pride in. + +Wife she ain't got so yet thet she can look at it without sort o' +cryin'--thess the look of it seems to bring back the figure o' the +little feller, ez he helt his ground, single-handed, at that gradj'atin' +that day. + +Well, sir, we was so pleased to have him turned out a full gradj'ate +thet, after it was all over, why, I riz up then and there, though I +couldn't hardly speak for the lump in my th'oat, an' I said thet I +wanted to announce thet Sonny was goin' to have a gradj'atin' party out +at our farm that day week, an' thet the present company was all invited. + +An' he did have it, too; an' they all come, every mother's son of +'em--from _a_ to _izzard_--even to them that has expressed secret +dissatisfactions; which they was all welcome, though it does seem to me +thet, ef I 'd been in their places, I'd 'a' hardly had the face to come +an' talk, too. + +I'm this kind of a disposition myself: ef I was ever to go to any kind +of a collation thet I expressed disapproval of, why, the supper couldn't +be good enough not to choke me. + +An' Sonny, why, he's constructed on the same plan. We ain't never told +him of any o' the remarks thet has been passed. They might git his +little feelin's hurted, an' 't wouldn't do no good, though some few has +been made to his face by one or two smarty, ill-raised boys. + +Well, sir, we give 'em a fine party, ef I do say it myself, an' they +all had a good time. Wife she whipped up eggs an' sugar for a week +befo'hand, an' we set the table out under the mulberries. It took +eleven little niggers to wait on 'em, not countin' them thet worked +the fly-fans. An' Sonny he ast the blessin'. + +Then, after they'd all et, Sonny he had a' exhibition of his little +specimens. He showed 'em his bird eggs, an' his wood samples, an' his +stamp album, an' his scroll-sawed things, an' his clay-moldin's, an' all +his little menagerie of animals an' things. I rather think everybody was +struck when they found thet Sonny knowed the botanical names of every +one of the animals he's ever tamed, an' every bird. Miss Phoebe, she +didn't come to the front much. She stayed along with wife, an' helped +'tend to the company, but I could see she looked on with pride; an' I +don't want nothin' said about it, but the boa'd of school directors was +so took with the things she had taught Sonny thet, when the evenin' was +over, they ast her to accept a situation in the academy next year, an' +she's goin' to take it. + +An' she says thet ef Sonny will take a private co'se of instruction in +nachel sciences, an' go to a few lectures, why, th' ain't nobody on +earth that she 'd ruther see come into that academy ez teacher,--that +is, of co'se, in time. But I doubt ef he'd ever keer for it. + +I've always thought thet school-teachin', to be a success, has to run in +families, same ez anythin' else--yet, th' ain't no tellin'. + +I don't keer what he settles on when he's grown; I expect to take pride +in _the way he'll do it_--an' that's the principal thing, after all. + +It's the "Well done" we're all a-hopin' to hear at the last day; an' the +po' laborer thet digs a good ditch'll have thess ez good a chance to +hear it ez the man that owns the farm. + + + + +SONNY "KEEPIN' COMPANY" + + +[Illustration: 'H'] + +Hello, doc'; come in! Don't ask me to shake hands, though; 't least, not +tell I can drop this 'ere piece o' ribbin. + +I never reelized how much shenanigan it took to tie a bow o' ribbin tell +I started experimentin' with this here buggy-whup o' Sonny's. + +An' he wants it tied _thess so_. He's a reg'lar Miss Nancy, come to +taste. + +All the boys, nowadays, they seem to think thet ez soon ez they +commence to keep company, they must have ribbin bows tied on their +buggy-whups--an' I reckon it's in accordance, ef anything is. I thess +called you in to look at his new buggy, doctor. You've had your first +innin's, ez the base-ball fellers says, at all o' his various an' sundry +celebrations, from his first appearance to his gradj'atin', and I'll +call your attention to a thing I wouldn't mention to a' outsider. + +Sence he taken a notion to take the girls out a-ridin', why, I intend +for him to do it in proper style; an' I went an' selected this buggy +myself. + +It is sort o' fancy, maybe, for the country, but I knew he'd like it +fancy--at his age. I got it good an' high, so's it could straddle stumps +good. They's so many tree-stumps in our woods, an' I know Sonny ain't +a-goin' to drive nowhere _but_ in the woods so long ez they's a livin' +thin' to scurry away at his approach, or a flower left in bloom, or a +last year's bird's nest to gether. An' the little Sweetheart, why, she's +got so thet she's ez anxious to fetch home things to study over ez he +is. + +Yas; I think it is, ez you say, a fus'-class little buggy. + +Sonny ain't never did nothin' half-ways,--not even mischief,--an' +I ain't a-goin' in, at this stage o' his raisin', to stint him. + +List'n at me sayin' "raisin'" ag'in, after all Miss Phoebe has preached +to me about it! She claims thet folks has to be fetched up,--or "brung +up" I believe she calls it,--an' I don't doubt she knows. + +She allows thet pigs is raised, an' potaters, an' even chickens; an' she +said, one day, thet ef I insisted on "raisin'" child'en, she'd _raise a +row_. She's a quick hand to turn a joke, Miss Phoebe is. + +Nobody thet ever lived in Simpkinsville would claim thet rows couldn't +be raised, I'm shore, after all the fuss thet's been made over puttin' +daytime candles in our 'piscopal church. Funny how folks'll fuss about +sech a little thing when, ef they'd stop to think, they's so many mo' +important subjec's thet they could git up diffe'nces of opinion on. + +I didn't see no partic'lar use in lightin' the candles myself, bein' ez +we didn't need 'em to see by, an' shorely the good Lord thet can speak +out a sun any time he needs a extry taper couldn't be said to take no +pleasure in a Simpkinsville home-dipped candle. But the way I look at +it, seem like ef some wants em, why not? + +Th' ain't nothin' mo' innercent than a lighted candle,--kep' away up on +the wall out o' the draft, the way they are in church,--an' so, when it +come to votin' on it, why, I count peace an' good-will so far ahead o' +taller thet I voted thet I was good for ez many candles ez any other man +would give. An' quick ez I said them words, why, Enoch Johnson up an' +doubled his number. It tickled me to see him do it, too. + +Enoch hates me thess because he's got a stupid boy--like ez ef that was +any o' my fault. His Sam failed to pass at the preliminar' examination, +an' wasn't allowed to try for a diplomy in public; an' Enoch an' his +wife, why, they seem to hold it ag'in' me thet Sonny could step in at +the last moment an' take what their boy could n't git th'oo the trials +an' tribulations of a whole year o' bein' teached lessons at home an' +wrestled in prayer over. + +I ain't got a thing ag'in' Enoch, not a thing--not even for makin' me +double my number o' candles. Mo' 'n that, I'd brighten up Sam's mind for +'im in a minute, ef I could. + +I never was jealous-hearted. An' neither is Sonny. + +He sent Sam a special invite to his gradj'atin' party, an' give him a +seat next to hisself so's he could say "Amen" to his blessin', thess +because he had missed gittin' his diplomy. Everybody there knowed why +he done it. + +But talkin' about Sonny being "raised," I told Miss Phoebe thet we'd +_haf_ to stop sayin' it about _him_, right or wrong, ez a person can't +raise nothin' higher 'n what he is hisself, an Sonny's taller 'n either +wife or me, an' he ain't but sixteen. Ef we raised 'im partly, we must +'a' sent 'im up the rest o' the way. It's a pleasure to pass a little +joke with Miss Phoebe; she's got sech a good ear to ketch their p'ints. + +But, come to growin', Sonny never asked nobody no odds. He thess stayed +stock-still ez long ez he found pleasure in bein' a little runt, an' +then he humped hisself an' shot up same ez a sparrer-grass stalk. It +gives me pleasure to look up to him the way I haf to. + +Fact is, he always did require me to look _up_ to 'im, even when I +looked _down_ at 'im. + +Yas, sir; ez I said, Sonny has commenced keepin' +company,--outspoke,--an' I can't say thet I'm opposed to it, though some +would say he was a little young, maybe. I know when I was his age I had +been in love sev'al times. Of co'se these first little puppy-dog loves, +why, th' ain't no partic'lar harm in 'em--less'n they're opposed. + +An' we don't lay out to oppose Sonny--not in nothin' thet he'll +attemp'--after him bein' raised an' guided up to this age. + +There goes that word "raisin'" agi'n. + +He's been in love with his teacher, Miss Phoebe, most three years--an' +'cep'n' thet I had a sim'lar experience when I was sca'cely out o' the +cradle, why, I might 'a' took it mo' serious. + +That sort o' fallin' in love, why, it comes same ez the measles or +the two-year-old teeth, an' th' ain't nothin' sweeter ef it's took +philosophical. + +It's mighty hard, though, for parents, thet knows thess how recent a +child is, to reconcile the facts o' the case with sech things ez him +takin' notice to the color o' ribbin on a middle-aged school-teacher's +hair--an' it sprinkled with gray. + +Sonny was worse plegged than most boys, because, havin' two lady +teachers at that time, it took him sort o' duplicated like. + +I suppose ef he'd had another, he'd 'a' been equally distributed on +all three. + +The way I look at it, a sensible, serious-minded woman thet starts out +to teach school--which little fellers they ain't got no sense on earth, +nohow--ain't got no business with ribbin-bows an' ways an' moles on +their cheek-bones. An' ef they've got knuckles, they ought to be like +wife's or mine, pointed outward for useful service, instid o' bein' +turned inside out to attract a young child's admiration--not thet I hold +it against Miss Phoebe thet her knuckles is reversed. Of co'se she can't +be very strong-fingered. No finger could git much purchase on a dimple. + +'T ain't none of her fault, I know. But Sonny has seen the day thet seem +like he couldn't talk about another thing but her an' her dimpled +knuckles--them an' that little brown mole thet sets out on the aidge of +her eyebrow. + +I think myself thet that mole looks right well, for a blemish, which +wife says it is, worst kind. But of co'se a child couldn't be expected +to know that. It did seem a redic'lous part o' speech the first time he +mentioned sech a thing to his mother, but a boy o' twelve couldn't be +expected to know the difference between a mountain an' a mole-hill. + +I ricollec' he used to talk in his sleep consider'ble when he was a +little chap, an' it always fretted wife turrible. She'd git up out o' +bed thess ez soon ez he'd begin to hold fo'th, an' taller him over. +Whenever she didn't seem to know what else to do, why, she'd taller him; +an' I don't reckon there's anything less injurious to a child, asleep or +awake, _than_ taller. + +She's tallored him for his long division, an' she's tallered him for +that blemish on Miss Phoebe's cheek, an' she's tallered him for clairin' +of his th'oat. His other lady teacher, Miss Alviry Sawyer, she was a +single-handed maiden lady long'bout wife's age, an' she didn't have a +feature on earth thet a friend would seem to have a right to mention, +she not bein' to blame; but she had a way o' clairin' her th'oat, sort +o' polite, befo' she'd open her mouth to speak. Sonny, he seemed to +think it was mighty graceful the way she done it, an' he's often +imitated it in his little sleep--nights when he'd eat hot waffles for +his supper. + +An' wife she'd always jump up an' git the mutton taller. I never took it +serious myself, 'cause I know how a triflin' thing 'll sometimes turn a +level-headed little chap into a drizzlin' ejiot. I been there myself. + +But th' ain't no danger in it, not less'n he's made a laughin'-stalk +of--which is cruelty to animals, an' shouldn't be allowed. + +I know when I went to school up here at Sandy Cri'k, forty year ago, I +was teached by a certain single lady that has subsequently died a nachel +death of old age an' virtuous works, an' in them days she wo'e a knitted +collar, an' long curls both sides of her face; an' I've seen many a +night, after the candle was out, thet she'd appear befo' me. She'd seem +to come an' hang over my bed-canopy same ez a chandelier, with them side +curls all a-jinglin' like cut-glass dangles. It's true, she used mostly +to appear with a long peach-switch in her hand, but that was nachel +enough, that bein' the way she most gen'ally approached me in life. + +But of co'se I come th'oo without taller. My mother had thirteen of us, +an' ef she'd started anointin' us for all our little side-curled +nightmares, she'd 'a' had to go to goose raisin'. + +You see, in them days they used goose grease. + +I never to say admired that side-curled lady much, though she's made +some lastin' impressions on me. Why, I could set down now, an' make a +drawin' of that knitted collar she used to wear, an' it over forty year +ago. I ricollec' she was cross-eyed, too, in the eye todes the foot o' +the class, where I'd occasionally set; an', tell the truth, it was the +strongest reason for study thet I had--thess to get on to the side of +her certain eye. Th' ain't anything much mo' tantalizin' to a person +than uncertainty in sech matters. + +She was mighty plain, an' yet some o' the boys seemed to see beauty in +her. I know my brother Bob, he confided to mother once-t thet he thought +she looked thess precizely like the Queen o' Sheba must'a' looked, an' +I ricollec' thet he cried bitter because mother told it out on him at +the dinner-table. It was turrible cruel, but she didn't reelize. + +I reckon, ef the truth was known, most of us nine has seen them side +curls in our sleep. An' nobody but God an' his angels will ever +know how many of us passed th'oo the valley o' the shadder o' that +singular-appearin' lady, or how often we notified the other eight of the +fact, unbeknowinst to his audience, while they was distributed in their +little trundle-beds. + +I sometimes wonder ef they ain't no account took of little child'en's +trials. Seems to me they ought to be a little heavenly book kep' +a-purpose; an' 't wouldn't do no harm ef earthly fathers an' mothers +was occasionally allowed to look over it. + +My brother Bob, him thet likened Miss Alviry to the Queen o' Sheba, +always was a sensitive-minded child, an' we all knowed it, too; and yet, +we never called him a thing for months after that but Solomon. We ought +to've been whupped good for it. + +Bob ain't never married, an' for a bachelor person of singular habits, +he's kep' ez warm a heart ez ever I see. + +I've often deplo'ed him not marryin'. In fact, sense I see what comfort +is to be took in a child, why, I deplo' all the singular numbers--though +the Lord couldn't be expected to have a supply on hand thess like Sonny +to distribute 'round on demand. + +But I doubt ef parents knows the difference. + +I've noticed thet when they can't take pleasure in extry smartness in a +child, why, they make it up in tracin' resemblances. I suppose they's +parental comfort to be took to in all kinds o' babies. I know I've seen +some dull-eyed ones thet seemed like ez ef they wasn't nothin' for 'em +to do _but_ resemble. + +But talkin' about Sonny a-fallin' in love with his teachers, why, they +was a time here when he wanted to give away every thing in the house to +first one an' then the other. The first we noticed of it was him tellin' +us how nice Miss Alviry thought his livers and gizzards was. Now, +everybody knows thet they ain't been a chicken thet has died for our +nourishment sence Sonny has cut his eye-teeth but has give up its vitals +to him, an' give 'em willin'ly, they bein' the parts of his choice; an' +it was discouragin', after killin' a useless number o' chickens to git +enough to pack his little lunch-bucket, to have her eat 'em up--an' she +forty year old ef she's a day, an' he not got his growth yet. An' yet, a +chicken liver is thess one o' them little things thet a person couldn't +hardly th'ow up to a school-teacher 'thout seemin' small-minded. + +I never did make no open objection to him givin' away anything to his +teachers tell the time he taken a notion to give Miss Phoebe the plush +album out o' the parlor. We was buyin' it on instalments at twenty-five +cents a week, and it wasn't fully installed at the time, an' I told him +it wouldn't never do to give away what wasn't ours. + +When it comes to principle, why, I always take a stand. I thought likely +by the time it was ours in full he'd've recovered from his attackt, an' +be willin' for his ma to keep it; an' he was. + +An' besides, sence his pet squir'l has done chawed the plush clean off +one corner of it, he says he wouldn't part with it for nothin'. Of co'se +a beast couldn't be expected to reelize the importance o' plush. An' +that's what seems to tickle Sonny so. + +We had bought it chiefly on his account, so ez to git 'im accustomed to +seein' handsome things around, so thet when he goes out into the world +he won't need to be flustered by finery. + +Wife she's been layin' by egg money all spring to buy a swingin', +silver-plated ice-pitcher, so he'll feel at home with sech things, an' +capable of walkin' up to one an' tiltin' it unconcerned, which is more'n +I can do _to this day_. I always feel like ez ef I ought to go home an' +put on my Sunday clo'es befo' I can approach one of 'em. + +Sech ez that has to be worked into a person's constitution in youth. +The motions of a gourd-dipper, kep' in constant practice for years, +is mighty hard to reverse. + +How does that look now, doctor? Yas; I think so, too. It's tied in a +right good bow for a ten-thumbed man, which I shorely am, come to +fingerin' ribbin. + +He chose blue because she's got blue eyes--pore little human! Sir? _Who +is she_, you say? Why, don't you know? She's Joe Wallace's little Mary +Elizabeth--a nice, well-mannered child ez ever lived. + + +[Illustration: "What could be sweeter 'n little Mary Elizabeth?"] + + +Wife has had her over here to supper sev'al nights lately, an' Sonny +he's took tea over to the Wallaces' once-t or twice-t, an' they say he +shows mighty good table manners, passin' things polite, an' leavin' +proper amounts on his plate. His mother has always teached him keerful. +It's good practice for 'em both. Of co'se Mary Elizabeth she's a year +older 'n what Sonny is, an' she's thess gittin' a little experience out +o' him--though she ain't no ways conscious of it,--an' he 'll gain a +good deal o' courage th'oo keepin' company with a ladylike girl like +Mary Elizabeth. That's the way it goes, an' I think th' ain't nothin' +mo' innercent or sweet. + +How'd you say that, doctor? S'posin' it wasn't to turn out that-a-way? +Well, bless yo' heart, ef it was to work out in _all seriousness, what +could be sweeter 'n little Mary Elizabeth_? Sonny ain't got it in his +power to displease us, don't keer what he was to take a notion to, +less'n, of co'se, it was wrong, which it ain't in him to do--not +knowin'ly. + +You know, Sonny has about decided to take a trip north, doctor--to New +York State. Sir? Oh, no; he ain't goin' to take the co'se o' lectures +thet Miss Phoebe has urged him to take--'t least, that ain't his +intention. + +No; he sez thet he don't crave to fit his-self to teach. He sez he feels +like ez ef it would smother him to teach school in a house all day. He +taken that after me. + +No; he's goin a-visitin'. Oh, no, sir; we ain't got no New York kin. +He's a-goin' all the way to that strange an' distant State to call on a +man thet he ain't never see, nor any of his family. He's a gentle man by +the name o' Burroughs--John Burroughs. He's a book-writer. The first +book thet Sonny set up nights to read was one o' his'n--all about dumb +creatures an' birds. Sonny acchilly wo'e that book out a-readin' it. + +Yas, sir; Sonny says thet ef he could thess take one long stroll th'oo +the woods with him, he'd be willin' to walk to New York State if +necessary. An' we're a-goin' to let 'im go. The purtiest part about it +is thet this here great book-writer has invited him to pay him a visit. +Think o' that, will you? Think of a man thet could think up a whole row +o' books a-takin' sech a' int'res' in our plain little Arkansas Sonny. +But he done it; an' 'mo' 'n that, he remarked in the letter thet it +would give him great pleasure to meet the boy thet had so many mutual +friends in common with him, or some sech remark. Of co'se, in this he +referred to dumb brutes, an' even trees, so Sonny says. Oh, cert'n'y; +Sonny writ him first. How would he've knew about Sonny? Miss Phoebe she +encouraged him to write the letter, but it was Sonny's first idee. An' +the answer, why, he's got it framed an' hung up above his bookshelves +between our marriage c'tif'cate an' his diplomy. + +He's done sent Sonny his picture, too. He's took a-settin' up in a' +apple-tree. You can tell from a little thing like that thet a person +ain't no dude, an' I like that. We 've put that picture in the front +page of the plush album, an' moved the bishop back one page. + +Sonny has sent him a photograph of all our family took together, an' +likely enough he'll have it framed time Sonny arrives there. + +When he goes, little Mary Elizabeth, why, she's offered to take keer of +all his harmless live things till he comes back, an' I s'pose they'll be +letters a-passin' back and fo'th. It does seem so funny, when I think +about it. 'Pears like thess the other day thet Mis' Wallace fetched +little Mary Elizabeth over to look at Sonny, an' he on'y three days old. +I ricollec' when she seen 'im she took her little one-year-old finger +an' teched 'im on the forehead, an' she says, says she, "Howdy?"--thess +that-a-way. I remember we all thought it was so smart. Seemed like ez ef +she reelized thet he had thess arrived--an' she had thess learned to say +"Howdy," an' she up an' says it. + +An' she's ap' at speech yet, so Sonny says. She don't say much when wife +or I are around, which I think is showin' only right an' proper +respec's. + +Th' ain't nothin' purtier, to my mind, than for a young girl to set up +at table with her elders, an' to 'tend strictly to business. Mary +Elizabeth'll set th'oo a whole meal, an' sca'cely look up from her +plate. I never did see a little girl do it mo' modest. + +Of co'se, Sonny, he bein' at home, an' she bein' his company, why, he +talks constant, an' she'll glance up at him sort o' sideways occasional. +Wife an' me, we find it ez much ez we can do, sometimes, to hold in; we +feel so tickled over their cunnin' little ways together. To see Sonny +politely take her cup o' tea an' po' it out in her saucer to cool for +her so nice, why, it takes all the dignity we can put on to cover our +amusement over it. You see, they've only lately teethed together, them +child'en. + +I reckon the thing sort o' got started last summer. I know he give her a +flyin' squir'l, an' she embroidered him a hat-band. I suspicioned then +what was comin', an' I advised wife to make up a few white-bosomed +shirts for him, an' she didn't git 'em done none too soon. 'Twasn't no +time befo' he called for 'em. + +A while back befo' that I taken notice thet he 'd put a few idees down +on sheets o' paper for her to write her compositions by. Of co'se, he +wouldn't _write_ 'em. He's too honest. He'd thess sugges' idees +promiscu'us. + +She's got words, so he says, an' so she'd write out mighty nice +compositions by his hints. I taken notice thet in this world it's often +that-a-way; one'll have idees, an' another'll have words. They ain't +always bestowed together. When they are, why, then, I reckon, them are +the book-writers. Sonny he's got purty consider'ble o' both for his age, +but, of co'se, he wouldn't never aspire to put nothin' he could think up +into no printed book, I don't reckon; though he's got three blank books +filled with the routine of "out-door housekeeping," ez he calls it, the +way it's kep' by varmints an' things out o' doors under loose tree-barks +an' in all sorts of outlandish places. I did only last week find a piece +o' paper with a po'try verse on it in his hand-write on his little +table. I suspicioned thet it was his composin', because the name "Mary +Elizabeth" occurred in two places in it, though, of co'se, they's other +Mary Elizabeths. He's a goin' to fetch that housekeepin' book up north +with him, an' my opinion is thet he's a-projec'ing to show it to Mr. +Burroughs. But likely he won't have the courage. + +Yas; take it all together, I'm glad them two child'en has took the +notion. It'll be a good thing for him whilst he's throwed in with all +sorts o' travelin' folks goin' an' comin' to reelize thet he's got a +little sweetheart at home, an' thet she's bein' loved an' cherished by +his father an' mother du'in' his absence. + +Even after they've gone their sep'rate ways, ez they most likely will in +time, it'll be a pleasure to 'em to look back to the time when they was +little sweethearts. + +I know I had a number, off an' on, when I was a youngster, an' they're +every one hung up--in my mind, of co'se--in little gilt frames, each one +to herself. An' sometimes, when I think 'em over, I imagine thet they's +sweet, bunches of wild vi'lets a-settin' under every one of 'em--all +'cep'n' one, an' I always seem to see pinks under hers. + +An' she's a grandmother now. Funny to think it all over, ain't it? +At this present time she's a tall, thin ol' lady thet fans with a +turkey-tail, an' sets up with the sick. But the way she hangs in her +little frame in my mind, she's a chunky little thing with fat ankles an' +wrisses, an' her two cheeks they hang out of her pink caliker sunbonnet +thess like a pair o' ripe plumgranates. + +She was the pinkest little sweetheart thet a pink-lovin' school-boy ever +picked out of a class of thirty-five, I reckon. + +Seemed to me everything about her was fat an' chubby, thess like +herself. Ricollec', one day, she dropped her satchel, an' out rolled the +fattest little dictionary I ever see, an' when I see it, seem like she +couldn't nachelly be expected to tote no other kind. I used to take +pleasure in getherin' a pink out o' mother's garden in the mornin's when +I'd be startin' to school, an' slippin' it on to her desk when she +wouldn't be lookin', an' she'd always pin it on her frock when I'd have +my head turned the other way. Then when she'd ketch my eye, she'd turn +pinker'n the pink. But she never mentioned one o' them pinks to me in +her life, nor I to her. + +Yas; I always think of her little picture with a bunch o' them +old-fashioned garden pinks a settin' under it, an' there they'll stay ez +long ez my old mind is a fitten place for sech sweet-scented pictures to +hang in. + +They've been a pleasure to me all my life, an' I'm glad to see Sonny's +a-startin' his little picture-gallery a'ready. + + + + +WEDDIN' PRESENTS + +[Illustration: 'T'] + + +That you, doctor? Hitch up, an' come right in. + +You say Sonny called by an' ast you to drop in to see me? + +But I ain't sick. I'm thess settin'out here on the po'ch, upholstered +with pillers this-a-way on account o' the spine o' my back feelin' sort +o' porely. The way I ache--I reckon likely ez not it's a-fixin' to rain. +Ef I don't seem to him quite ez chirpy I ought to be, why Sonny he gets +oneasy an' goes for you, an' when I object--not thet I ain't always glad +to see you, doctor--why, he th'ows up to me thet that's the way we +always done about him when de was in his first childhood. An' ef you +ricollec'--why, it's about true. He says he's boss now, an' turn about +is fair play. + +My pulse ain't no ways discordant, is it? No, I thought not. Of co'se, +ez you say, I s'pose it's sort o' different to a younger person's, an' +then I've been so worked up lately thet my heart's bound to be more or +less frustrated, and Sonny says a person's heart reg'lates his pulse. + +I reckon I ain't ez strong ez I ought to be, maybe, or I wouldn't cry so +easy ez what I do. I been settin' here, pretty near boo-hoo-in' for the +last half-hour, over the weddin' presents Sonny has thess been a-givin' +me. + +Last week it was a daughter, little Mary Elizabeth--an' now it's his +book. + +They was to 've come together. The book was printed and was to 've been +received here on Sonny's weddin'-day, but it didn't git in on time. But +I counted it in ez one o' my weddin' presents from Sonny, give to me on +the occasion of his marriage, thess the same, though I didn't know about +the inscription thet he's inscribed inside it tell it arrived--an' I'm +glad I didn't. + +Ef I'd 've knew that day, when my heart was already in my win'-pipe, +thet he had give out to the world by sech a printed declaration ez that +thet he had to say dedicated all his work in life, _in advance_, to my +ol' soul, I couldn't no mo' 've kep' up my behavior 'n nothin'. + +I'm glad you think I don't need no physic, doctor. I never was no hand +to swaller medicine when I was young, and the obnoxion seems to grow on +me ez I git older. + +Not all that toddy? You'll have me in a drunkard's grave yet,--you an' +Sonny together,--ef I don't watch out. + +That nutmeg gives it a mighty good flavor, doc'. Ef any thing ever does +make me intemp'rate, why, it'll be the nutmeg an' sugar thet you all +smuggle the liquor to me in. + +It does make me see clairer, I vow it does, either the nutmeg or the +sperit, one. + +There's Sonny's step, now. I can tell it quick ez he sets it on the back +steps. Sence I'm sort o' laid up, Sonny gits into the saddle every day +an' rides over the place an' gives orders for me. + +Come out here, son, an' shake hands with the doctor. + +Pretty warm, you say it is, son! An' th' ain't nothin' goin' astray on +the place? Well, that's good. An', doc', here, he says thet his bill for +this visit is a unwarranted extravagance 'cause they ain't a thing I +need but to start on the downward way thet leads to ruin. He's got me +all threatened with the tremens now, so thet I hardly know how to match +my pronouns to suit their genders an' persons. He's give me fully a +tablespoonful o' the reverend stuff in one toddy. I tell him he must +write out a prescription for the gold cure an' leave it with me, so's in +case he should drop off befo' I need it, I could git it, 'thout applyin' +to a strange doctor an' disgracin' everybody in America by the name o' +Jones. + +Do you notice how strong he favors _her_ to-day, doctor? + +I don't know whether it's the toddy I've took thet calls my attention to +it or not. + + +[Illustration: "When I set here by myself on this po'ch so much these +days an' think."] + + +She always seemed to see me in him--but I never could. Far ez I can +see, he never taken nothin' from me but his sect--an' yo' name, son, of +co'se. 'Cep'in' for me, you couldn't 'a' been no Jones--'t least not in +our branch. + +Put yo' hand on my forr'd, son, an' bresh it up'ards a few times, while +I shet my eyes. + +Do you know when he does that, doc', I couldn't tell his hand from hers. + +He taken his touch after her, exact--an' his hands, too, sech good firm +fingers, not all plowed out o' shape, like mine. I never seemed to +reelize it tell she'd passed away. + +That'll do now, boy. I know you want to go in an' see where the little +wife is, an' I've no doubt you'll find her with a wishful look in her +eyes, wonderin' what keeps you out here so long. + +Funny, doctor, how seein' him and little Mary Elizabeth together brings +back my own youth to me--an' wife's. + +From the first day we was married to the day we laid her away under the +poplars, the first thing I done on enterin' the house was to wonder +where she was an' go an' find her. An' quick ez I'd git her located, +why, I'd feel sort o' rested, an' know things was all right. + +Heap of his ma's ways I seem to see in Sonny since she's went. + +An' what do you think, doc'? He's took to kissin' me nights and mornin's +since she's passed away, an' I couldn't tell you how it seems to comfort +me. + +Maybe that sounds strange to you in a grown-up man, but it don't come no +ways strange to me--not from Sonny. Now he's started it, seems like ez +ef I'd 've missed it if he hadn't. + +Ez I look back, they ain't no lovin' way thet a boy could have thet +ain't seemed to come nachel to him--not a one. An' his little wife, Mary +Elizabeth, why, they never was a sweeter daughter on earth. + +An' ef I do say it ez shouldn't, their weddin' was the purtiest thet has +ever took place in this county--in my ricollection, which goes back +distinc' for over sixty year. + +Everybody loves little Mary Elizabeth, an' th' aint a man, woman, or +child in the place but doted on Sonny, even befo' he turned into a +book-writer. But, of co'se, all the great honors they laid on him--the +weddin' supper an' dance in the Simpkins's barn, the dec'rations o' +the church that embraced so many things he's lectured about an' all +that--why they was all meant to show fo'th how everybody took pride in +him, ez a author o' printed books. + +You see he has give' twelve lectures in the academy each term for the +last three years, after studyin' them three winters in New York, each +year's lectures different, but all relatin' to our own forests an' their +dumb population. That's what he calls 'em. Th' ain't a boy thet has +attended the academy, sence he's took the nachel history to teach, +but'll tell you thess what kind o' inhabitants to look for on any +particular tree. Nearly every boy in the county's got a cabinet--an' +most of 'em have carpentered 'em theirselves, though I taught 'em how to +do that after the pattern Sonny got me to make his by--an' you'll find +all sorts o' specimens of what they designate ez "summer an' winter +resorts" in pieces of bark an' cobweb an' ol' twisted tree-leaves in +every one of 'em. + +The boys thet dec'rated the barn for the dance say thet they ain't a +tree Sonny ever lectured about but was represented in the ornaments +tacked up ag'inst the wall, an' they wasn't a space big ez yo' hand, ez +you know, doctor, thet wasn't covered with some sort o' evergreen or +berry-branch, or somethin'. + +An' have you heerd what the ol' nigger Proph' says? Of co'se he's all +unhinged in the top story ez anybody would be thet lived in the woods +an' e't sca'cely anything but herbs an' berries. But, anyhow, he's got +a sort o' gift o' prophecy an' insight, ez we all know. + +Well, Proph', he sez that while the weddin' march was bein' played in +the church the night o' Sonny's weddin' thet he couldn't hear his own +ears for the racket among all the live things in the woods. An' he says +thet they wasn't a frog, or a cricket, or katydid, or nothin', but up +an' played on its little instrument, an' thet every note they sounded +fitted into the church music--even to the mockin'-bird an' the +screech-owl. + +Of co'se, I don't say it's so, but the ol' nigger swears to it, an' ef +you dispute it with him an' ask him how it come thet nobody else didn't +hear it, why he says that's because them thet live in houses an' eat +flesh ain't got the love o' Grod in their hearts, an' can't expect to +hear the songs of the songless an' speech of the speechless. + +That's a toler'ble high-falutin figgur o' speech for a nigger, but it's +thess the way he expresses it. + +You know he's been seen holdin' conversation with dumb brutes, more 'n +once-t--in broad daylight. + +Of co'se, we can't be shore thet they was rejoicin' expressed in the +underbrush an' the forests, ez he says, but I do say, ez I said before, +thet Sonny an' the little girl has had the purtiest an' joyfulest +weddin' I ever see in this county, an' a good time was had by everybody +present. An' it has made me mighty happy--it an' its results. + +They say a son is a son till he gets him a wife, but 't ain't so in this +case, shore. I've gained thess ez sweet a daughter ez I could 'a' picked +out ef I'd 'a' had the whole world to select from. + +Little Mary Elizabeth has been mighty dear to our hearts for a long +time, an' when wife passed away, although the weddin' hadn't took place +yet, she bestowed a mother's partin' blessin' on her, an' give Sonny a +lot o' private advice about her disposition, an' how he ought to +reg'late hisself to deal with it. + +You see, Mary Elizabeth stayed along with us so much durin' the seasons +he was away in New York, thet we got to know all her crotchets an' +quavers, an' she ain't got a mean one, neither. + +But _they're there_. An' they have to be dealt with, lovin'. Fact is, +th' ain't no other proper way to deal with nothin', in my opinion. + +We was ruther glad to find out some little twists in her disposition, +wife an' me was, 'cause ef we hadn't discovered none, why we'd 'a' felt +shore she had some in'ard deceit or somethin'. No person can't be +perfec', an' when I see people always outwardly serene, I mistrust their +insides. + +But little Mary Elizabeth, why, she ain't none too angelic to git a good +healthy spell o' the pouts once-t in a while, but ef she's handled kind +an' tender, why, she'll come thoo without havin' to humble herself with +apologies. + +It depends largely upon how a pout is took, whether it'll contrac' +itself into a hard knot an' give trouble or thess loosen up into a +good-natured smile, an' the oftener they are let out that-a-way, the +seldomer they'll come. + +Little Mary Elizabeth, why, she looks so purty when she pouts, now, that +I've been tempted sometimes to pervoke her to it, thess to witness the +new set o' dimples she'll turn out on short notice; but I ain't never +done it. I know a dimple thet's called into bein' too often in youth is +li'ble to lay the foundation of a wrinkle in old age. + +But takin' her right along stiddy, day in an' day out, she's got a good +sunny disposition an' is mighty lovin' and kind. + +An' as to character and dependableness, why, she's thess ez sound ez +a bell. + +In a heap o' ways she nears up to us, sech, f' instance, ez when she +taken wife's cook-receipt book to go by in experimentin' with Sonny's +likes an' dislikes. 'T ain't every new-married wife thet's willin' to +sample her husband's tastes by his ma's cook-books. + +They seem to think they 're too dictatorial. + +But, of co'se, wife's receipts was better 'n most, an' Mary Elizabeth, +she knows that. + +She ain't been married but a week, but she's served up sev'al self-made +dishes a'ready--all constructed accordin' to wife's schedule. + +Of co'se I could see the diff'ence in the mixin'--but it only amused me. +An' Sonny seemed to think thet, ef anything, they was better 'n they +ever had been--which is only right and proper. + +Three days after she was married, the po' little thing whipped up a +b'iled custard for dinner an', some way or other, she put salt in it +'stid o' sugar, and poor Sonny--Well, I never have knew him to lie +outright, befo', but he smacked his lips over it an' said it was the +most delicious custard he had ever e't in his life, an' then, when he +had done finished his first saucer an' said, "No, thank you, I won't +choose any more," to a second helpin', why, she tasted it an' thess bust +out a-cryin'. + +But I reckon that was partly because she was sort o' on edge yet from +the excitement of new housekeepin' and the head o' the table. + +Well, I felt mighty sorry to see her in tears, an' what does Sonny do +but insist on eatin' the whole dish o' custard, an' soon ez I could git +a chance, I took him aside an' give him a little dose-t o' pain-killer, +an' I took a few drops myself. + +I had felt obligated to swaller a few spoonfuls o' the salted custard +when she'd be lookin' my way, an' I felt like ez ef I was pizened, an' +so I thess took the painkiller ez a sort o' anecdote. + +Another way Mary Elizabeth shows sense is the way she accepts +discipline from the ol' nigger, Dicey. + +She's mighty old an' strenuous now, Dicey is, an' she thinks because she +was present at Sonny's birth an' before it, thet she's privileged to +correct him for anything he does, and we've always indulged her in it, +an' thess ez soon as she knowed what was brewin' 'twix' him an' Mary +Elizabeth, why, she took her into the same custody, an' it's too cute +for anything the way the little girl takes a scoldin' from her--thess +winkin' at Sonny an' me while she receives it. + +An' the ol' nigger'd lay down her life for her most ez quick ez she +would for Sonny. + +She was the first to open our eyes to the state of affairs 'twixt the +two child'en, that ol' nigger was. It was the first year Sonny went +North. He had writ home to his ma from New York State, and said thet Mr. +Burroughs had looked over his little writings an' said they was good +enough to be printed an' bound up in a book. + +Wife, she read the letter out loud, ez she always done, an' we noticed +thet when we come to that, Mary Elizabeth slipped out o' the room; but +we didn't think nothin' of it tell direc'ly ol' Dicey, she come in +tickled all but to death to tell us thet the little girl was out on the +po'ch with her face hid in the honeysuckle vines, cryin' thess ez hard +as we was. So then, of co'se, we knowed that ef the co'se of true love +could be allowed to run smooth for once-t, she was fo'-ordained to be +our little blessin'--an' his--that is, so far as she was concerned. + +Of co'se we was even a little tenderer todes her, after that, than we +had been befo'. + +That was over five year ago, an' th' ain't been a day sca'cely sence +then but we've seen her, an' in my jedgment they won't be nothin' +lackin' in her thet's needful in a little wife--not a thing. + +Ef they's anything in long acquaintance, they've certainly knowed one +another all the time they've had. + +Of co'se Mary Elizabeth, she ain't to say got Sonny's thoughts, exac'ly, +where it comes to sech a thing ez book-writin', but he says she's a heap +better educated 'n what he is. + +She's got all her tuition repo'ts du'in' the whole time she attended +school, an' mostly all her precentages was up close onto the hund'eds. + +Sonny never was no hand on earth to git good reports at school. + +They was always so low down in figgurs thet he calls 'em his "misconduc' +slips." + +But they ain't a one he's ever got, takin' 'em from the beginnin' clean +up to the day o' his gradjuatin', thet ain't got some lovin' remark +inscribed acrost it from his teacher--not a one. + +Even them that wrastled with him most severe has writ him down friendly +an' kind. + +An' little Mary Elizabeth--why, she's took every last one of 'em an' +she's feather-stitched 'em aroun' the edges an' sewed 'em up into a sort +o' little book, an' tied a ribbin' bow acrost it. I don't know whether +she done it on account o' the teacher's remarks or not--but she cert'n'y +does prize that pamphlet. + +She thinks so much of it thet I been advisin' her to take out a fire +insu'ance on it. + +In a heap o' ways she thess perzacly suits Sonny. Lookin' at it from one +p'int o' view, she's a sort o' dictionary to him. + +Whenever Sonny finds hisself short of a date, f' instance, or some +unreasonable spellin' 'll bother 'im, why, he'll apply to her for it an' +she'll hand it out to him, intac'. I ain't never knew her to fail. + +You see, while Sonny's thoughts is purty far-reachin' in some ways, he's +received his education so sort o' hit an' miss thet the things he knows +ain't to say catalogued in his mind, an' while he'll know one fac', +maybe he won't be able to recall another thet seems to belong hand in +hand with it. An' that's one reason why I say thet little Mary Elizabeth +is thess the wife for him. + +She may not bother about the whys an' wherefores, but she's got the +statistics. + +It's always well, in a married couple, to have either one or the other +statistical, so thet any needed fac' can be had on demand. + +Wife, she was a heap more gifted that-a-way 'n what I was, but of co'se +hers wasn't so much book statistics. + +She could give the name an' age of every cow an' calf on the farm, an' +relate any circumstance thet has took place within her recollection or +mine without the loss of a single date or any gain through imagination, +either. + +I don't know but I think that's a greater gif' than the other, to be +able to reproduce a event after a long time without sort o' thess +techin' it up with a little exaggeration. + +Th' ain't no finer trait, in my opinion, _in man or woman_, than +dependableness, an' that's another reason I take sech special delight in +the little daughter, Mary Elizabeth. + +If she tells you a thing's black, why you may know it don't lean todes +brown or gray. It's thess a dismal black. + +She may hate to say it, an' show her hatred in a dozen lovin', regretful +ways, but out it'll come. + +An' I think thet any man thet can count on a devoted wife for +_exactitude_ is blessed beyond common. + +So many exac' women is col'-breasted an' severe. An' ef I had to take +one or the other, why, I'd let my wife prevaricate a little, ef need +be, befo' I'd relinquish warmheartedness, an' the power to command +peacefulness an' rest, an' make things comfortable an' homely, day in +an' day out. + +Maybe I'm unprincipled in that, but life is so short, an' ef we didn't +have lovin' ways to lengthen out our days, why I don't think I'd keer to +bother with it, less'n, of co'se, I might be needful to somebody else. + +Yas, doc', I 'm mighty happy in the little daughter--an' the book--an' +the blessed boy hisself. Maybe I'm too talkative on the subject, but the +way I feel about him, I might discuss him forever, an' then they'd be +thess a little sweetness left over thet I couldn't put into words about +him. + +Not thet he's faultless. I don't suppose they ever was a boy on earth +thet had mo' faults 'n Sonny, but they ain't one he's got thet I don't +seem to cherish because I know it's rooted in honest soil. + +You may strike a weed now an' ag'in, but he don't grow no pizen vines in +his little wilderness o' short-comin's. Th' ain't no nettles in his +garden o' faults. That ain't a bad figgur o' speech for a ol' man like +me, is it, doctor? + +But nex' time he stops an' tells you I'm sick, you thess tell him to go +about his business. + +I'm failin' in stren'th ez the days go--an' I know it--an' it's all +right. + +I don't ask no mo' 'n thess to pass on whenever the good Lord wills. + +But of co'se I ain't in no hurry, an' they's one joy I'd like to feel +befo' that time comes. + +I'd love to hol' Sonny's baby in my ol' arms--his an' hers--an' to see +thet the good ol' name o' Jones has had safe transportation into one mo' +generation of honest folks. + +Sonny an' Mary Elizabeth are too sweet-hearted an' true not to be +reproduced in detail, an' passed along. + +This here ol' oak tree thet gran'pa planted when I was a kid, why, it'd +be a fine shady place for healthy girls an' boys to play under. + + +[Illustration: "Seem like a person don't no mo' 'n realize he's a +descendant befo' he's a' ancestor."] + + +When I set here by myself on this po'ch so much these days an' +think,--an' remember,--why I thess wonder over the passage o' time. + +I ricollec' thess ez well when gran'pa planted that oak saplin'. My pa +he helt it stiddy an' I handed gran'pa the spade, an' we took off our +hats whilst he repeated a Bible tex'. + +Yes, that ol' oak was religiously planted, an' we've tried not to offend +its first principles in no ways du'in' the years we've nurtured it. + +An' when I set here an' look at it, an' consider its propensities,--it's +got five limbs that seem thess constructed to hold swings,--maybe it's +'cause I was raised Presbyterian an' sort o' can't git shet o' the +doctrine o' predestination, but I can't help seemin' to fo'-see them +friendly family limbs all fulfillin' their promises. + +An' when I imagine myself a-settin' there with one little one a-climbin' +over me while the rest swings away, why, seem like a person don't no mo' +'n realize he's a descendant befo' he's a' ancestor. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Sonny, A Christmas Guest, by Ruth McEnery Stuart + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11084 *** |