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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11084 ***
+
+[Illustration: "I reckon the thing sort o' got started last summer."]
+
+
+
+
+SONNY, A CHRISTMAS GUEST
+
+BY RUTH McENERY STUART
+
+WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY FANNY Y. CORY
+
+
+1911
+
+
+
+
+
+TO MY SON STIRLING McENERY STUART
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+  A Christmas Guest
+
+  The Boy
+
+  Sonny's Christenin'
+
+  Sonny's Schoolin'
+
+  Sonny's Diploma
+
+  Sonny "Keepin' Company"
+
+  Weddin' Presents
+
+
+
+
+LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+  "I reckon the thing sort o' got started last summer"
+
+  "Seem to me _he_ favors her a little thess aroun' the mouth"
+
+  "Quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo"
+
+  "She does make 'im _so_ contented an' happy"
+
+  "Name this child"
+
+  "An' then Sonny, seein' it all over, he come down"
+
+  "He was watchin' a bird-nest on the way to that school"
+
+  "He had been playin' out o' doors bare-feeted"
+
+  "Any question he missed was to be passed on to them thet had been
+  grad'jatin' so fast"
+
+  "'This orange is the earth, an' this here apple is the sun'"
+
+  "What could be sweeter 'n little Mary Elizabeth?"
+
+  "When I set here by myself on this po'ch so much these days an' think"
+
+  "Seem like a person don't no mo''n realize he's a descendant befo' he's
+  a' ancestor"
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SONNY
+
+A CHRISTMAS GUEST
+
+
+[Illustration: 'B']
+
+Boy, you say, doctor? An' she don't know it yet? Then what 're you
+tellin' _me_ for? No, sir--take it away. I don't want to lay my eyes
+on it till she's saw it--not if I _am_ its father. She's its _mother_,
+I reckon!
+
+Better lay it down somew'eres an' go to _her_--not there on the
+rockin'-cheer, for somebody to set on--'n' not on the trunk, please.
+That ain't none o' yo' ord'nary new-born bundles, to be dumped on a box
+that'll maybe be opened sudden d'rec'ly for somethin' needed, an' be
+dropped ag'in' the wall-paper behind it.
+
+_It's hers_, whether she knows it or not. _Don't_, for _gracious_ sakes,
+lay 'im on the _table! Anybody_ knows _that's_ bad luck.
+
+You think it might bother her on the bed? She's that bad? An' they ain't
+no fire kindled in the settin'-room, to lay it in there.
+
+_S-i-r?_ Well, yas, I--I reck'n I'll _haf_ to hold it, ef you say
+so--that is--of co'se--
+
+_Wait_, doctor! _Don't_ let go of it _yet!_ Lordy! but I'm thess _shore_
+to drop it! Lemme set down _first, doctor_, here by the fire an' git
+het th'ugh. Not yet! My ol' shin-bones stan' up thess like a pair o'
+dog-irons. Lemme bridge 'em over first 'th somethin' soft. That'll do.
+She patched that quilt herself. Hold on a minute, 'tel I git the aidges
+of it under my ol' boots, to keep it f'om saggin' down in the middle.
+
+There, now! Merciful goodness, but I never! I'd rather trus' myself with
+a whole playin' fountain in blowed glass'n sech ez this.
+
+Stoop down there, doctor, please, sir, an' shove the end o' this quilt
+a leetle further under my foot, won't you? Ef it was to let up sudden,
+I wouldn't have no more lap 'n what any other fool man's got.
+
+'N' now--you go to _her_.
+
+I'd feel a heap safeter ef this quilt was nailed to the flo' on each
+side o'my legs. They're trimblin' so I dunno what minute my feet'll let
+go their holt.
+
+An' she don't know it yet! An' he layin' here, dressed up in all the
+little clo'es she sewed! She mus' be purty bad. I dunno, though; maybe
+that's gen'ally the way.
+
+They're keepin' mighty still in that room. Blessed ef I don't begin to
+feel 'is warmth in my ol' knee-bones! An' he's a-breathin' thess ez
+reg'lar ez that clock, on'y quicker. Lordy! An' she don't know it yet!
+An' he a boy! He taken that after the Joneses; we've all been boys in
+our male branch. When that name strikes, seem like it comes to stay.
+Now for a girl--
+
+Wonder if he ain't covered up mos' too close-t. Seem like he snuffles
+purty loud--for a beginner.
+
+Doctor! _oh_, doctor! I say, _doctor!_
+
+Strange he don't hear--'n' I don't like to holler no louder. Wonder
+ef she could be worse? Ef I could thess reach somethin' to knock with!
+I daresn't lif' my foot, less'n the whole business'd fall through.
+
+Oh, doc'! Here he comes now--_Doctor_, I say, don't you think maybe he's
+covered up too--
+
+How's _she_, doctor? "Thess the same," you say? 'n' she don't know
+yet--about him? "In a couple o' hours," you say? Well, don't lemme keep
+you, doctor. But, tell me, don't you think maybe he's covered up a
+leetle too close-t?
+
+That's better. An' now I've saw him befo' she did! An' I didn't want to,
+neither.
+
+Poor leetle, teenchy, weenchy bit of a thing! Ef he ain't the _very_
+littlest! Lordy, Lordy, Lor_dy!_ But I s'pose all thet's needed in a
+baby is a startin'-p'int big enough to hol' the fam'ly ch'racteristics.
+I s'pose maybe he is, but the po' little thing mus' feel sort o'
+scrouged with 'em, ef he's got 'em all--the Joneses' an' the Simses'.
+Seem to me he favors her a little thess aroun' the mouth.
+
+An' she don't know it yet!
+
+
+[Illustration: "Seem to me _he_ favors her a little thess aroun' the
+mouth."]
+
+
+Lord! But my legs ache like ez if they was bein' wrenched off. I've got
+'em on sech a strain, somehow. An' he on'y a half hour ol', an' two
+hours mo' 'fo' I can budge! Lord, Lord! how _will_ I stand it!
+
+_God bless 'im!_ Doc! He's a-sneezin'! Come quick! Shore ez I'm here,
+he snez twice-t!
+
+Don't you reckon you better pile some mo' wood on the fire an'--
+
+What's that you say? "Fetch 'im along"? An' has she ast for 'im? Bless
+the Lord! I say. But a couple of you 'll have to come help me loosen up
+'fo' I can stir, doctor.
+
+Here, you stan' on that side the quilt, whiles I stir my foot to the
+flo' where it won't slip--an' Dicey--where's that nigger Dicey? You
+Dicey, come on here, an' tromp on the other side o' this bedquilt till
+I h'ist yo' young marster up on to my shoulder.
+
+No, you don't take 'im, neither. I'll tote 'im myself.
+
+Now, go fetch a piller till I lay 'im on it. That's it. And now git
+me somethin' stiff to lay the piller on. There! That lapboa'd 'll do.
+Why didn't I think about that befo'? It's a heap safeter 'n my ole
+knee-j'ints. Now, I've got 'im secure. _Wait_, doctor--hold on! I'm
+afeered you 'll haf to ca'y 'im in to her, after all. I'll cry ef I do
+it. I'm trimblin' like ez ef I had a'ager, thess a-startin' in with
+'im--an seein' me give way might make her nervious. You take 'im to her,
+and lemme come in sort o' unconcerned terreckly, after she an' him've
+kind o' got acquainted. Dast you hold 'im that-a-way, doctor, 'thout no
+support to 'is spinal colume? I s'pose he _is_ too sof' to snap, but
+I wouldn't resk it. Reckon I can slip in the other do' where she won't
+see me, an' view the meetin'.
+
+Yas; I 'm right here, honey! (The idea o' her a-callin' for me--an'
+_him_ in 'er arms!) I 'm right here, honey--_mother!_ Don't min' me
+a-cryin'! I'm all broke up, somehow; but don't you fret. I 'm right here
+by yo' side on my knees, in pure thankfulness.
+
+Bless His name, I say! You know he's a boy, don't yer? I been a holdin'
+'im all day--'t least ever sence they dressed 'im, purty nigh a' hour
+ago. An' he's slep'--an' waked up--an' yawned--an' snez--an' wunk--an'
+sniffed--'thout me sayin' a word. Opened an' shet his little fist,
+once-t, like ez ef he craved to shake hands, howdy! He cert'n'y does
+perform 'is functions wonderful.
+
+Yas, doctor; I'm a-comin', right now.
+
+Go to sleep now, honey, you an' him, an' I'll be right on the spot when
+needed. Lemme whisper to her thess a minute, doctor?
+
+I thess want to tell you, honey, thet you never, even in yo' young days,
+looked ez purty to my eyes ez what you do right now. An' that boy is
+_yo' boy_, an' I ain't a-goin' to lay no mo' claim to 'im 'n to see thet
+you have yo' way with 'im--you hear? An' now good night, honey, an' go
+to sleep.
+
+       *       *       *      *      *
+
+They wasn't nothin' lef for me to do but to come out here in this ol'
+woodshed where nobody wouldn't see me ac' like a plumb baby.
+
+An' now, seem like I _can't_ git over it! The idee o' me, fifty year
+ol', actin' like this!
+
+An' she knows it! An' she's got 'im--_a boy_--layin' in the bed
+'longside 'er.
+
+"Mother an' child doin' well!" Lord, Lord! How often I've heerd that
+said! But it never give me the all-overs like it does now, some way.
+
+Guess I'll gether up a' armful o' wood, an' try to act unconcerned--an'
+laws-a-mercy me! Ef--to-day--ain't--been--Christmas! My! my! my! An' it
+come an' gone befo' I remembered!
+
+I'll haf to lay this wood down ag'in _an' think_.
+
+I've had many a welcome Christmas gif' in my life, but the idee o' the
+good Lord a-timin' _this_ like that!
+
+Christmas! An' a boy! An' she doin' well!
+
+No wonder that ol' turkey-gobbler sets up on them rafters blinkin' at me
+so peaceful! He knows he's done passed a critical time o' life.
+
+You've done crossed another bridge safe-t, ol' gobbly, an' you can
+_afford_ to blink--an' to set out in the clair moonlight, 'stid o'
+roostin' back in the shadders, same ez you been doin'.
+
+You was to 've died by ax-ident las' night, but the new visitor thet's
+dropped in on us ain't cut 'is turkey teeth yet, an' his mother--
+
+Lord, how that name sounds! Mother! I hardly know 'er by it, long ez
+I been tryin' to fit it to 'er--an' fearin' to, too, less'n somethin'
+might go wrong with either one.
+
+I even been callin' him "it" to myself all along, so 'feerd thet ef I
+set my min' on either the "he" or the "she" the other one might take a
+notion to come--an' I didn't want any disappointment mixed in with the
+arrival.
+
+But now he's come,--_an'_ registered, ez they say at the polls,--I know
+I sort o' counted on the boy, some way.
+
+Lordy! but he's little! Ef he hadn't 'a' showed up so many of his
+functions spontaneous, I'd be oneasy less'n he mightn't have 'em; but
+they're there! Bless goodness, they're there!
+
+An' he snez prezac'ly, for all the world, like my po' ol' pap--a reg'lar
+little cat sneeze, thess like all the Joneses.
+
+Well, Mr. Turkey, befo' I go back into the house, I'm a-goin' to make
+you a solemn promise.
+
+You go free till about this time next year, _anyhow_. You an' me'll
+celebrate the birthday between ourselves with that contrac'. You needn't
+git oneasy Thanksgivin', or picnic-time, or Easter, or no other time
+'twixt this an' nex' Christmas--less'n, of co'se, you stray off an' git
+stole.
+
+An' this here reprieve, I want you to understand, is a present from the
+junior member of this firm.
+
+Lord! but I'm that tickled! This here wood ain't much needed in the
+house,--the wood-boxes 're all full,--but I can't _de_vise no other
+excuse for vacatin'--thess at this time.
+
+S'pose I _might_ gether up some eggs out 'n the nestes, but it'd look
+sort o' flighty to go egg-huntin' here at midnight--an' he not two hours
+ol'.
+
+I dunno, either, come to think; she might need a new-laid egg--sof
+b'iled. Reckon I'll take a couple in my hands--an' one or two sticks o'
+wood--an' I'll draw a bucket o' water too--an' tote _that_ in.
+
+Goodness! but this back yard is bright ez day! Goin' to be a clair, cool
+night--moon out, full an' white. Ef _this ain't the stillest_ stillness!
+
+Thess sech a night, for all the world, I reckon, ez the first Christmas,
+when He come--
+
+  When shepherds watched their flocks by night,
+    All seated on the ground,
+  The angel o' the Lord come down,
+    An' glory shone around--
+
+thess like the hymn says.
+
+The whole o' this back yard is full o' glory this minute. Th' ain't
+nothin' too low down an' mean for it to shine on, neither--not even the
+well-pump or the cattle-trough--'r the pig-pen--or even me.
+
+Thess look at me, covered over with it! An' how it does shine on the
+roof o' the house where they lay--her an' him!
+
+I suppose that roof has shined that-a-way frosty nights 'fo' to-night;
+but some way I never seemed to see it.
+
+Don't reckon the creakin' o' this windlass could disturb her--or him.
+
+Reckon I might go turn a little mo' cotton-seed in the troughs for them
+cows--an' put some extry oats out for the mules an' the doctor's
+mare--an' onchain Rover, an' let 'im stretch 'is legs a little. I'd like
+everything on the place to know _he's_ come, an' to feel the diff'ence.
+
+Well, now I'll load up--an' I do hope nobody won't notice the
+_re_dic'lousness of it.
+
+You say she's asleep, doctor, an' th' ain't nothin' mo' needed to be
+did--an' yo' 're goin'!
+
+Don't, for gracious sakes! go, doctor, an' leave me! I wont know what on
+top o' the round earth to do, ef--ef--You know she--she might wake
+up--or he!
+
+You say Dicey she knows. But she's on'y a nigger, doctor. Yes; I know
+she's had exper'ence with the common run o' babies, but--
+
+Lemme go an' set down this bucket, an' lay this stick o' wood on the
+fire, an' put these eggs down, so's I can talk to you free-handed.
+
+Step here to the do', doctor. I say, doc, ef it's a question o' the size
+o' yo' bill, you can make it out to suit yo'self--or, I'll tell you what
+I'll do. You stay right along here a day or so--tell to-morrer or nex'
+day, anyhow--an' I'll sen' you a whole bale o' cotton--an' you can sen'
+back any change you see fit--or none--_or none_, I say. Or, ef you'd
+ruther take it out in pertaters an' corn an' sorghum, thess say so, an'
+how much of each.
+
+But _what_? "It wouldn't be right? Th' ain't no use," you say? An'
+you'll _shore_ come back to-morrer? Well. But, by the way, doctor, did
+you know to-day was Christmas? Of co'se I might've knew you did--but _I_
+never. An' now it seems to me like Christmas, an' Fo'th o' July, an'
+"Hail Columbia, happy lan'," all b'iled down into one big jubilee!
+
+But tell me, doctor, confidential--sh!--step here a leetle further
+back--tell me, don't you think he's to say a leetle bit undersized?
+Speak out, ef he is.
+
+Wh--how'd you say? "Mejum," eh? Thess mejum! An' they do come even
+littler yet? An' you say mejum babies're thess ez liable to turn out
+likely an' strong ez over-sizes, eh? Mh-hm! Well, I reckon you
+_know_--an' maybe the less they have to contend with at the start the
+better.
+
+Oh, thanky, doctor! Don't be afeered o' wrenchin' my wris'! A thousand
+thankies! Yo' word for it, he's a fine boy! An' you've inspected a good
+many, an' of co'se you know--yas, yas! Shake ez hard ez you like--up an'
+down--up an' down!
+
+An' now I'll go git yo' horse--an' don't ride 'er too hard to-night,
+'cause I've put a double po'tion of oats in her trough awhile ago. The
+junior member he give instructions that everything on the place was to
+have a' extry feed to-night--an' of co'se I went and obeyed orders.
+
+Now--'fo' you start, doctor--I ain't got a thing stronger 'n raspberry
+corjal in the house--but ef you'll drink a glass o' that with me? (Of
+co'se he will!)
+
+She made this 'erself, doctor--picked the berries an' all--an' I raised
+the little sugar thet's in it. Well, good-night, doctor! To-morrer,
+shore!
+
+Sh-h!
+
+How that do'-latch does click! Thess like thunder!
+
+Sh-h! Dicey, you go draw yo' pallet close-t outside the do', an' lay
+down--an' I'll set here by the fire an' keep watch.
+
+How my ol' stockin'-feet do tromp! Do lemme hurry an' set down! Seem
+like this room's awful rackety, the fire a-poppin' an' tumblin', an'
+me breathin' like a porpoise. Even the clock ticks ez excited ez I
+feel. Wonder how they sleep through it all! But they do. He beats her
+a-snorin' a'ready, blest ef he don't! Wonder ef he knows he's born into
+the world, po' little thing! I reckon not; but they's no tellin'. Maybe
+that's the one thing the good Lord gives 'em _to_ know, so's they'll
+realize what to begin to study about--theirselves an' the world--how to
+fight it an' keep friends with it at the same time. Ef I could giggle
+an' sigh both at once-t, seem like I'd be relieved. Somehow I feel sort
+o' tight 'roun' the heart--an' wide awake an'--
+
+How that clock _does_ travel--an' how they all keep time, he--an'
+she--an' it--an' me--an' the fire roa'in' up the chimbley, playin' a
+tune all around us like a' organ, an' he--an' she--an' he--an' it--an'
+he--an'--
+
+Blest ef I don't hear singing--an' how white the moonlight is! They's
+angels all over the house---an' their robes is breshin' the roof whilst
+they sing--
+
+His head had fallen. He was dreaming.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE BOY
+
+[Illustration: 'H']
+
+Here's the doctor, now! Hello, Doc, come right in! Here's yo' patient,
+settin' up on the po'ch, big ez life; but when we sent for you this
+mornin' it seemed thess hit an' miss whether he'd come thoo or not.
+
+Thess the same sort o' spells he's had all along, doctor,--seems you
+can't never see 'im in one,--all brought on by us a-crossin' 'im. His
+gran'ma insisted on hidin' the clock when he wanted it; but I reckon
+she'll hardly resk it ag'in, she's that skeert. He's been settin' on the
+flo' there thess the way you see 'im now, with that clock in his lap,
+all mornin'.
+
+Of co'se it thess took him about ten minutes to bu'st all the little
+things his gran'ma give him to play with, 'n' then he nachelly called
+for the clock; 'n' when she wasn't forthcomin' _immejate_, why, he thess
+stiffened out in a spell.
+
+Of co'se we put the timepiece into his hands quick ez we could onclinch
+'em, an' sent for you. But quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo. But
+you was already gone for, then.
+
+His gran'ma she got considerable fretted because he's broke off the long
+han' o' the clock; but I don't see much out o' the way about that. Ef a
+person thess remembers thet the long han' is the short han'--why, 't
+ain't no trouble.
+
+An' she does make 'im _so_ contented an' happy! Thess look at his face,
+now! What is the face-vally of a clock, I like to know, compared to
+that?
+
+
+[Illustration: "Quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo."]
+
+
+But of co'se the ol' lady she's gettin' on in years, and then she's
+my wife's mother, which makes her my _di_rec' mother-in-law; an' so
+I'm slow to conterdic' anything she says, an' I guess her idees o'
+regulatin' childern--not to say clocks--is sort o' diff'rent to wife's
+an' mine. She goes in for reg'lar dis_cip_line, same ez she got an'
+survived in her day; an' of co'se, ez Sonny come to her ez gran'son the
+same day he was born to us ez plain son, we never like to lift our
+voices ag'in anything she says.
+
+She loves him thess ez well ez we do, only on a diff'rent plan. She give
+him the only spankin' he's ever had--an' the only silver cup.
+
+Even wife an' me we had diff'rent idees on the subjec' o' Sonny's
+raisin'; but somehow, in all our ca'culations, we never seemed to
+realize that _he'd_ have idees.
+
+Why, that two-year-old boy settin' there regulatin' that clock warn't no
+mo' 'n to say a pink spot on the piller 'fo' he commenced to set fo'th
+his idees, and he ain't never backed down on no principle thet he set
+fo'th, to this day.
+
+For example, wife an' me, why, we argued back an' fo'th consider'ble on
+the subjec' of his meal-hours, ez you might say, she contendin' for
+promiskyus refreshment an' me for schedule time.
+
+This, of co'se, was thess _proj_eckin' 'fo' the new boa'der ac-chilly
+arrived, He not bein' here yet, we didn't have much to do _but_
+speculate about him. Lookin' back'ards now, it seems to me we
+couldn't'a' had nothin' to do, day or night, 'fo' he come.
+
+But, ez I was sayin', she was for meals at all hours, an' I was for the
+twenty-minutes-for-refreshment plan, an' we discussed it consider'ble,
+me always knowin', but never lettin' on, thet of co'se she, havin' what
+you might call a molopoly on the restaurant, could easy have things her
+own way, ef she'd choose.
+
+But, sir, from the time he looked over that bill o' fare an' put his
+finger on what he'd have, _an' when_, that boy ain't never failed to
+call for it, an' get it, day 'r night.
+
+But, talkin' 'bout the clock, it did seem funny for him to keep her
+goin' 'thout no key.
+
+But somehow he'd work it thet that alarm 'd go off in the dead hours o'
+night, key or no key, an' her an' me we'd jump out o' bed like ez ef we
+was shot; and do you b'lieve thet that baby, not able to talk, an'
+havin' on'y half 'is teeth, he ain't never failed to wake up an' roa'
+out a-laughin' ever' time that clock 'd go off in the night!
+
+Why, sir, it's worked on me so, sometimes, thet I've broke out in a col'
+sweat, an' set up the balance o' the night--an' I ain't to say
+high-strung, neither.
+
+No, sir, we ain't never named 'im yet. Somehow, we don't seem to be able
+to confine ourselves to no three or four names for 'im, for so we thess
+decided to let it run along so--he thess goin' by the name o' "Sonny"
+tell sech a time ez he sees fit to name 'isself.
+
+Of co'se I sort o' ca'culate on him takin' the "Junior," an' lettin' me
+tack a capital "S" an' a little "r" to my name 'fo' I die; which would
+nachelly call attention to him _di_rec' eve'y time I'd sign my
+signature.
+
+Deuteronomy Jones ain't to say a purty name, maybe; but it's
+scriptu'al--so far ez my parents could make it. Of co'se the
+Jones--well, they couldn't help that no mo' 'n I can help it, or Sonny,
+_or his junior_, thet, of co'se, may never be called on to appear in the
+flesh, Sonny not bein' quite thoo with his stomach-teeth yet, an' bein'
+subject to croup, both of which has snapped off many a fam'ly tree fore
+to-day. But I reckon the Joneses ain't suffered much that a-way. I doubt
+ef any of 'em has ever left 'thout passin' the name on--not knowin'
+positive, but thess _jedgin'_. None o' mine ain't, I _know_, leastwise
+none of my _di_rec' ancestors--they couldn't have, an' me here, an'
+Sonny.
+
+_Don't_ jump, doctor! That's the supper-bell. 'Tis purty loud, but
+that's on account o' my mother-in-law. She's stone-deef--can't hear
+thunder; but I told wife thet I thought we owed it to her to do the best
+we could to reach her, and I had that bell made a-purpose.
+
+Now, some men they'd slight a mother-in-law like that, an' maybe ring a
+dummy at her; but that's thess where I differ. I don't forget where I
+get my benefits, an' ef it hadn't 'a' been for her, the family circle o'
+Deuteronomy Jones would be quite diff'rent to what it is. She's handed
+down some of Sonny's best traits to him, too.
+
+I don't say she give him his hearin', less'n she give 'm all she
+had--which, of co'se, I'm thess a-jokin', which is a sin, an' her
+stone-deef, and Sonny thess come thoo a death-spell!
+
+Me havin' that extry sized bell made thess out of respects to her
+tickled her mightily.
+
+Come along, Sonny! He heerd the bell, an' he knows what it means. That's
+right--fetch the clock along.
+
+Sonny's cheer is toler'ble low, an' he's took a notion to set on the
+clock mealtimes. I thess lay 'er face down'ards in his cheer, 'n' I
+don't know ez it hurts her any; 'n' then it saves the dictionary, too.
+
+She did strike that a-way one day, and Sonny was so tickled he purty
+near choked on a batter-cake, he laughed so. He has broke sev'ral
+casters tryin' to jostle her into doin' it again, but somehow she won't.
+Seem like a clock kin be about ez contrary ez anything else, once't git
+her back up.
+
+He got so worked up over her not strikin' that a-way one day thet he
+stiffened out in a spell, then an' there.
+
+You say they ain't apt to be fatal, doctor--them spells!
+
+Well--but you ain't never saw him in one yet. They're reg'lar
+death-spells, doctor.
+
+Tell you the truth, they was the 'casion of us j'inin' the church, them
+spells was.
+
+Says I to wife--standin' beside him one day, and he black in the
+face--says I, "Wife," says I, "I reckon you an' me better try to live
+mo' righteously 'n what we've been doin', or he'll be took from us."
+An', sir, the very nex' communion we both up an' perfessed. An' I
+started sayin' grace at table, an' lef' off the on'y cuss-word I ever
+did use, which was "durn." An', maybe I oughtn't to say it, but I miss
+that word yet. I didn't often call on it, but I always knowed 't was
+there when needed, and it backed me up, somehow--thess the way knowin' I
+had a frock-coat in the press has helped me wear out ol' clo'es. I ain't
+never had on that frock-coat sence I was married in it seventeen year
+ago; but, sir, ever sence I've knew the moths had chawed it up, th'
+ain't been a day but I've felt shabby.
+
+
+[Illustration: "She does make 'im _so_ contented an' happy."]
+
+
+Sir? Yas, sir; we've waited a long time. It's seventeen year, come this
+spring, sence we married. Our first child could easy 'a' been sixteen
+year ol', 'stid o' two, ef Sonny'd come on time, but he ain't never been
+known to hurry hisself. But it does look like, with seventeen year for
+reflection, an' nothin' to do but study up other folks's mistakes with
+their childern, we ought to be able to raise him right. Wife an' me we
+fully agree upon one p'int, 'n' that is, thet mo' childern 'r' sp'iled
+thoo bein' crossed an' hindered 'n any other way. Why, sir, them we 've
+see' grow up roun' this country hev been fed on daily rations of
+"dont's!" an' "stops!" an' "quits!"--an' most of 'em brought up by hand
+at that!
+
+An' so, ez I say, we don't never cross Sonny, useless. Of co'se when
+he's been sick we have helt his little nose an' insisted on things; but
+I reckon we 've made it up to him afterwards, so's he wouldn't take it
+amiss.
+
+Oh, yas, sir; he called me "daddy" hisself, 'n' I never learned it to
+him, neither. I _was_ layin' out to learn 'im to say "papa" to me, in
+time; but I 'lowed I 'd hol' back tell he called _her_ name first.
+Seemed like that was her right, somehow, after all thet had passed
+'twixt him an' her; an' in all her baby-talk to him I took notice she'd
+bring the "mama" in constant.
+
+So of co'se I laid low, hopin' some day he 'd ketch it--an' he did. He
+wasn't no mo' 'n 'bout three months ol' when he said it; 'n' then, 'fo'
+I could ketch my breath, hardly, an put in my claim, what does he do but
+square aroun', an', lookin' at me direc', say "dada!" thess like that.
+
+There's the secon' bell, doctor. 'Sh! _Don't_ ring no mo', Dicey! We're
+a-comin'!
+
+At the first bell the roller-towel an' basin gen'ally holds a reception;
+but to-day bein' Sunday--
+
+What? Can't stay? But you _must_. Quick ez Sonny come thoo this mornin',
+wife took to the kitchen, 'cause, she says, says she, "Likely ez not the
+doctor 'll miss his dinner on the road, 'n' I 'll turn in with Dicey an'
+see thet he makes it up on supper."
+
+"Eat an' run?" Why not, I like to know? Come on out. Wife's at the
+roller-towel now, and she 'll be here in a minute.
+
+Come on, Sonny. Let "dada" tote the clock for you. No? Wants to tote 'er
+hisself? Well, he shall, too.
+
+But befo' we go out, doc, say that over ag'in, please.
+
+Yas, I understan'. Quick ez he's took with a spell, you say, th'ow col'
+water in his face, an' "never min' ef he cries"!
+
+I'll try it, doctor; but, 'twixt me an' you, I doubt ef anybody on the
+lot'll have the courage to douse 'im. Maybe we might call in somebody
+passin', an' git them to do it. But for the rest,--the bath an' the
+mustard,--of co'se it shall be did correct. You see, the trouble hez
+always been thet befo' we could git any physic measured out, he come
+thoo.
+
+Many's the time that horse hez been saddled to sen' for you befo'
+to-day. He thess happened to get out o' sight to-day when Sonny seemed
+to feel the clock in his hands, an' he come thoo 'thout us givin' him
+anything _but_ the clock--an' it external.
+
+Walk out, doctor.
+
+
+
+
+THE CHRISTENIN'
+
+[Illustration: 'Y']
+
+Yas, sir, wife an' me, we've turned 'Piscopals--all on account o' Sonny.
+He seemed to perfer that religion, an' of co'se we wouldn't have the
+family divided, so we're a-goin' to be ez good 'Piscopals ez we can.
+
+I reckon it'll come a little bit awkward at first. Seem like I never
+will git so thet I can sass back in church 'thout feelin' sort o'
+impident--but I reckon I'll chirp up an' come to it, in time.
+
+I never was much of a hand to sound the amens, even in our own Methodist
+meetin's.
+
+Sir? How old is he? Oh, Sonny's purty nigh six--but he showed a
+pref'ence for the 'Piscopal Church long fo' he could talk.
+
+When he wasn't no mo' 'n three year old we commenced a-takin' him round
+to church wherever they held meetin's,--'Piscopals, Methodists or
+Presbyterians,--so's he could see an' hear for hisself. I ca'yed him
+to a baptizin' over to Chinquepin Crik, once-t, when he was three.
+I thought I'd let him see it done an' maybe it might make a good
+impression; but no, sir! The Baptists didn't suit him! Cried ever'
+time one was douced, an' I had to fetch him away. In our Methodist
+meetin's he seemed to git worked up an' pervoked, some way. An' the
+Presbyterians, he didn't take no stock in them at all. Ricollect, one
+Sunday the preacher, he preached a mighty powerful disco'se on the
+doctrine o' lost infants not 'lected to salvation--an' Sonny? Why, he
+slep' right thoo it.
+
+The first any way lively interest he ever seemed to take in religious
+services was at the 'Piscopals, Easter Sunday. When he seen the lilies
+an' the candles he thess clapped his little hands, an' time the folks
+commenced answerin' back he was tickled all but to death, an' started
+answerin' hisself--on'y, of co'se he 'd answer sort o' hit an' miss.
+
+I see then thet Sonny was a natu'al-born 'Piscopal, an' we might ez well
+make up our minds to it--an' I told _her_ so, too. They say some is born
+so. But we thought we'd let him alone an' let nature take its co'se
+for awhile--not pressin' him one way or another. He never had showed
+no disposition to be christened, an' ever sence the doctor tried to
+vaccinate him he seemed to git the notion that christenin' an'
+vaccination was mo' or less the same thing; an' sence that time,
+he's been mo' opposed to it than ever.
+
+Sir? Oh no, sir. He didn't vaccinate him; he thess tried to do it; but
+Sonny, he wouldn't begin to allow it. We all tried to indoose 'im. I
+offered him everything on the farm ef he'd thess roll up his little
+sleeve an' let the doctor look at his arm--promised him thet he wouldn't
+tech a needle to it tell he said the word. But he wouldn't. He 'lowed
+thet me an' his mama could git vaccinated ef we wanted to, but he
+wouldn't.
+
+Then we showed him our marks where we had been vaccinated when we was
+little, an' told him how it had kep' us clair o' havin' the smallpock
+all our lives.
+
+Well, sir, it didn't make no diff'ence whether we'd been did befo' or
+not, he 'lowed thet he wanted to see us vaccinated ag'in.
+
+An' so, of co'se, thinkin' it might encour'ge him, we thess had it did
+over--tryin' to coax him to consent after each one, an' makin' pertend
+like we enjoyed it.
+
+Then, nothin' would do but the nigger, Dicey, had to be did, an' then he
+'lowed thet he wanted the cat did, an' I tried to strike a bargain with
+him thet if Kitty got vaccinated he would. But he wouldn't comp'omise.
+He thess let on thet Kit had to be did whe'r or no. So I ast the doctor
+ef it would likely kill the cat, an' he said he reckoned not, though it
+might sicken her a little. So I told him to go ahead. Well, sir, befo'
+Sonny got thoo, he had had that cat an' both dogs vaccinated--but let it
+tech hisself he would not.
+
+I was mighty sorry not to have it did, 'cause they was a nigger thet had
+the smallpock down to Cedar Branch, fifteen mile away, an' he didn't
+die, neither. He got well. An' they say when they git well they're more
+fatal to a neighborhood 'n when they die.
+
+That was fo' months ago now, but to this day ever' time the wind blows
+from sou'west I feel oneasy, an' try to entice Sonny to play on the far
+side o' the house.
+
+Well, sir, in about ten days after that we was the down-in-the-mouthest
+crowd on that farm, man an' beast, thet you ever see. Ever' last one o'
+them vaccinations took, sir, an' took severe, from the cat up.
+
+But I reckon we 're all safe-t guarded now. They ain't nothin' on the
+place thet can fetch it to Sonny, an' I trust, with care, he may never
+be exposed.
+
+But I set out to tell you about Sonny's christenin' an' us turnin'
+'Piscopal. Ez I said, he never seemed to want baptism, though he had
+heard us discuss all his life both it an' vaccination ez the two ordeels
+to be gone thoo with some time, an' we'd speculate ez to whether
+vaccination would take or not, an' all sech ez that, an' then, ez
+I said, after he see what the vaccination was, why he was even mo'
+prejudyced agin' baptism 'n ever, an' we 'lowed to let it run on tell
+sech a time ez he'd decide what name he'd want to take an' what
+denomination he'd want to bestow it on him.
+
+Wife, she's got some 'Piscopal relations thet she sort o' looks up
+to,--though she don't own it,--but she was raised Methodist an' I was
+raised a true-blue Presbyterian. But when we professed after Sonny come
+we went up together at Methodist meetin'. What we was after was
+righteous livin', an' we didn't keer much which denomination helped us
+to it.
+
+An' so, feelin' friendly all roun' that-a-way, we thought we'd leave
+Sonny to pick his church when he got ready, an' then they wouldn't be
+nothin' to undo or do over in case he went over to the 'Piscopals, which
+has the name of revisin' over any other church's performances--though
+sence we've turned 'Piscopals we've found out that ain't so.
+
+Of co'se the preachers, they used to talk to us about it once-t in a
+while,--seemed to think it ought to be did,--'ceptin', of co'se, the
+Baptists.
+
+Well, sir, it went along so till last week. Sonny ain't but, ez I said,
+thess not quite six year old, an' they seemed to be time enough. But
+last week he had been playin' out o' doors bare-feeted, thess same ez he
+always does, an' he tramped on a pine splinter some way. Of co'se, pine,
+it's the safe-t-est splinter a person can run into a foot, on account
+of its carryin' its own turpentine in with it to heal up things; but
+any splinter thet dast to push itself up into a little pink foot is a
+messenger of trouble, an' we know it. An' so, when we see this one, we
+tried ever' way to coax him to let us take it out, but he wouldn't, of
+co'se. He never will, an' somehow the Lord seems to give 'em ambition to
+work their own way out mos' gen'ally.
+
+But, sir, this splinter didn't seem to have no energy in it. It thess
+lodged there, an' his little foot it commenced to swell, an' it swole
+an' swole tell his little toes stuck out so thet the little pig thet
+went to market looked like ez ef it wasn't on speakin' terms with the
+little pig thet stayed home, an' wife an' me we watched it, an' I reckon
+she prayed over it consider'ble, an' I read a extry psalm at night befo'
+I went to bed, all on account o' that little foot. An' night befo' las'
+it was lookin' mighty angry an' swole, an' he had limped an' "ouched!"
+consider'ble all day, an' he was mighty fretful bed-time. So, after he
+went to sleep, wife she come out on the po'ch where I was settin', and
+she says to me, says she, her face all drawed up an' workin', says she:
+"Honey," says she, "I reckon we better sen' for him an' have it did."
+Thess so, she said it. "Sen' for who, wife?" says I, "an' have what
+did?" "Why, sen' for him, the 'Piscopal preacher," says she, "an' have
+Sonny christened. Them little toes o' hisn is ez red ez cherry tomatoes.
+They burnt my lips thess now like a coal o' fire an'--an' lockjaw is
+goin' roun' tur'ble.
+
+"Seems to me," says she, "when he started to git sleepy, he didn't gap
+ez wide ez he gen'ly does--an' I'm 'feered he's a-gittin' it now." An',
+sir, with that, she thess gathered up her apron an' mopped her face in
+it an' give way. An' ez for me, I didn't seem to have no mo' backbone
+down my spinal colume 'n a feather bolster has, I was that weak.
+
+I never ast her why she didn't sen' for our own preacher. I knowed then
+ez well ez ef she'd 'a' told me why she done it--all on account o' Sonny
+bein' so tickled over the 'Piscopals' meetin's.
+
+It was mos' nine o'clock then, an' a dark night, an' rainin', but I
+never said a word--they wasn't no room round the edges o' the lump in my
+throat for words to come out ef they'd 'a' been one surgin' up there to
+say, which they wasn't--but I thess went out an' saddled my horse an' I
+rid into town. Stopped first at the doctor's an' sent him out, though I
+knowed 't wouldn't do no good; Sonny wouldn't 'low him to tech it; but
+I sent him out anyway, to look at it, an', ef possible, console wife a
+little. Then I rid on to the rector's an' ast him to come out immejate
+an' baptize Sonny. But nex' day was his turn to preach down at Sandy
+Crik, an' he couldn't come that night, but he promised to come right
+after services nex' mornin'--which he done--rid the whole fo'teen mile
+from Sandy Crik here in the rain, too, which I think is a evidence o'
+Christianity, though no sech acts is put down in my book o' "evidences"
+where they ought rightfully to be.
+
+Well, sir, when I got home that night, I found wife a heap cheerfuler.
+The doctor had give Sonny a big apple to eat an' pernounced him free
+from all symptoms o' lockjaw. But when I come the little feller had
+crawled 'way back under the bed an' lay there, eatin' his apple, an'
+they couldn't git him out. Soon ez the doctor had teched a poultice to
+his foot he had woke up an' put a stop to it, an' then he had went off
+by hisself where nothin' couldn't pester him, to enjoy his apple in
+peace. An' we never got him out tell he heered us tellin' the doctor
+good-night.
+
+I tried ever' way to git him out--even took up a coal o' fire an' poked
+it under at him; but he thess laughed at that an' helt his apple agin'
+it an' made it sizz. Well, sir, he seemed so tickled thet I helt that
+coal o' fire for him tell he cooked a good big spot on one side o' the
+apple, an' et it, an' then, when I took it out, he called for another,
+but I didn't give it to him. I don't see no use in over-indulgin' a
+child. An' when he knowed the doctor was gone, he come out an' finished
+roastin' his apple by the fire--thess what was left of it 'round the
+co'e.
+
+Well, sir, we was mightily comforted by the doctor's visit, but nex'
+mornin' things looked purty gloomy ag'in. That little foot seemed a heap
+worse, an' he was sort o' flushed an' feverish, an' wife she thought she
+heard a owl hoot, an' Rover made a mighty funny gurgly sound in his
+th'oat like ez ef he had bad news to tell us, but didn't have the
+courage to speak it.
+
+An' then, on top o' that, the nigger Dicey, she come in an' 'lowed she
+had dreamed that night about eatin' spare-ribs, which everybody knows to
+dream about fresh pork out o' season, which this is July, is considered
+a shore sign o' death. Of co'se, wife an' me, we don't b'lieve in no
+sech ez that, but ef you ever come to see yo' little feller's toes stand
+out the way Sonny's done day befo' yesterday, why, sir, you'll be ready
+to b'lieve anything. It's so much better now, you can't judge of its
+looks day befo' yesterday. We never had even so much ez considered it
+necessary thet little children should be christened to have 'em saved,
+but when things got on the ticklish edge, like they was then, why, we
+felt thet the safest side is the wise side, an', of co'se, we want Sonny
+to have the best of everything. So, we was mighty thankful when we see
+the rector comin'. But, sir, when I went out to open the gate for him,
+what on top o' this round hemisp'ere do you reckon Sonny done? Why,
+sir, he thess took one look at the gate an' then he cut an' run hard
+ez he could--limped acrost the yard thess like a flash o' zig-zag
+lightnin'--an' 'fore anybody could stop him, he had clumb to the tip top
+o' the butter-bean arbor--clumb it thess like a cat--an' there he set,
+a-swingin' his feet under him, an' laughin', the rain thess a-streakin'
+his hair all over his face.
+
+That bean arbor is a favoryte place for him to escape to, 'cause it's
+too high to reach, an' it ain't strong enough to bear no grown-up
+person's weight.
+
+Well, sir, the rector, he come in an' opened his valise an' 'rayed
+hisself in his robes an' opened his book, an' while he was turnin' the
+leaves, he faced 'round an' says he, lookin' at me _di_rec', says he:
+
+"Let the child be brought forward for baptism," says he, thess
+that-a-way.
+
+Well, sir, I looked at wife, an' wife, she looked at me, an' then we
+both thess looked out at the butter-bean arbor.
+
+I knowed then thet Sonny wasn't never comin' down while the rector was
+there, an' rector, he seemed sort o' fretted for a minute when he see
+how things was, an' he did try to do a little settin' fo'th of opinions.
+He 'lowed, speakin' in a mighty pompious manner, thet holy things wasn't
+to be trifled with, an' thet he had come to baptize the child accordin'
+to the rites o' the church.
+
+
+[Illustration: "Name this child."]
+
+
+Well, that sort o' talk, it thess rubbed me the wrong way, an' I up an'
+told him thet that might be so, but thet the rites o' the church didn't
+count for nothin', on our farm, to the rights o' the boy!
+
+I reckon it was mighty disrespec'ful o' me to face him that-a-way, an'
+him adorned in all his robes, too, but I'm thess a plain up-an'-down man
+an' I hadn't went for him to come an' baptize Sonny to uphold the
+granjer of no church. I was ready to do that when the time come, but
+right now we was workin' in Sonny's interests, an' I intended to have it
+understood that way. An' it was.
+
+Rector, he's a mighty good, kind-hearted man, git down to the man inside
+the preacher, an' when he see thess how things stood, why, he come
+'round friendly, an' he went out on the po'ch an' united with us in
+tryin' to help coax Sonny down. First started by promisin' him speritual
+benefits, but he soon see that wasn't no go, and he tried worldly
+persuasion; but no, sir, stid o' him comin' down, Sonny started orderin'
+the rest of us christened thess the way he done about the vaccination.
+But, of co'se, we had been baptized befo', an' we nachelly helt out
+agin' that for some time. But d'rec'ly rector, he seemed to have a
+sudden idee, an' says he, facin' 'round, church-like, to wife an' me,
+says he:
+
+"Have you both been baptized accordin' to the rites o' the church?"
+
+An' me, thinkin' of co'se he meant the 'Piscopal Church, says: "No,
+sir," says I, thess so. And then we see that the way was open for us to
+be did over ag'in ef we wanted to. So, sir, wife an' me we was took into
+the church, then an' there. We wouldn't a yielded to him, thoo an' thoo,
+that-a-way ag'in ef his little foot hadn't a' been so swole, an' he
+maybe takin' his death o' cold settin' out in the po'in'-down rain; but
+things bein' as they was, we went thoo it with all due respects.
+
+Then he commenced callin' for Dicey, an' the dog, an' the cat, to be
+did, same ez he done befo'; but, of co'se, they's some liberties thet
+even a innocent child can't take with the waters o' baptism, an' the
+rector he got sort o' wo'e-out and disgusted an' 'lowed thet 'less'n
+we could get the child ready for baptism he'd haf to go home.
+
+Well, sir, I knowed we wouldn't never git 'im down, an' I had went for
+the rector to baptize him, an' I intended to have it did, ef possible.
+So, says I, turnin' 'round an' facin' him square, says I: "Rector," says
+I, "why not baptize him where he is? I mean it. The waters o' Heaven are
+descendin' upon him where he sets, an' seems to me ef he's favo'bly
+situated for anything it is for baptism." Well, parson, he thess looked
+at me up an' down for a minute, like ez ef he s'picioned I was wanderin'
+in my mind, but he didn't faze me. I thess kep' up my argiment. Says I:
+"Parson," says I, speakin' thess ez ca'm ez I am this minute--"Parson,"
+says I, "his little foot is mighty swole, an' so'e, an' that
+splinter--thess s'pose he was to take the lockjaw an' die--don't you
+reckon you might do it where he sets--from where you stand?"
+
+Wife, she was cryin' by this time, an' parson, he claired his th'oat an'
+coughed, an' then he commenced walkin' up an' down, an' treckly he
+stopped, an' says he, speakin' mighty reverential an' serious:
+
+"Lookin' at this case speritually, an' as a minister o' the Gospel,"
+says he, "it seems to me thet the question ain't so much a question of
+_doin'_ ez it is a question of _withholdin'_. I don't know," says he,
+"ez I've got a right to withhold the sacrament o' baptism from a child
+under these circumstances or to deny sech comfort to his parents ez lies
+in my power to bestow."
+
+An', sir, with that he stepped out to the end o' the po'ch, opened
+his book ag'in, an' holdin' up his right hand to'ards Sonny, settin'
+on top o' the bean-arbor in the rain, he commenced to read the
+service o' baptism, an' we stood proxies--which is a sort o' a dummy
+substitutes--for whatever godfather an' mother Sonny see fit to choose
+in after life.
+
+Parson, he looked half like ez ef he'd laugh once-t. When he had thess
+opened his book and started to speak, a sudden streak o' sunshine shot
+out an' the rain started to ease up, an' it looked for a minute ez ef he
+was goin' to lose the baptismal waters. But d'rec'ly it come down stiddy
+ag'in an he' went thoo the programme entire.
+
+An' Sonny, he behaved mighty purty; set up perfec'ly ca'm an' composed
+thoo it all, an' took everything in good part, though he didn't
+p'intedly know who was bein' baptized, 'cause, of co'se, he couldn't
+hear the words with the rain in his ears.
+
+He didn't rightly sense the situation tell it come to the part where it
+says: "Name this child," and, of co'se, I called out to Sonny to name
+hisself, which it had always been our intention to let him do.
+
+"Name yo'self, right quick, like a good boy," says I.
+
+Of co'se Sonny had all his life heered me say thet I was Deuteronomy
+Jones, Senior, an' thet I hoped some day when he got christened he'd be
+the junior. He knowed that by heart, an' would agree to it or dispute
+it, 'cordin' to how the notion took him, and I sort o' ca'culated thet
+he'd out with it now. But no, sir! Not a word! He thess sot up on thet
+bean-arbor an' grinned.
+
+An' so, feelin' put to it, with the services suspended over my head, I
+spoke up, an' I says: "Parson," says I, "I reckon ef he was to speak his
+little heart, he'd say Deuteronomy Jones, Junior." An' with thet what
+does Sonny do but conterdic' me flat! "No, not Junior! I want to be
+named Deuteronomy Jones, Senior!" says he, thess so. An' parson, he
+looked to'ards me, an' I bowed my head an' he pernouneed thess one
+single name, "Deuteronomy," an' I see he wasn't goin' to say no more an'
+so I spoke up quick, an' says I: "Parson," says I, "he has spoke his
+heart's desire. He has named hisself after me entire--Deuteronomy Jones,
+Senior."
+
+An' so he was obligated to say it, an' so it is writ in the family
+record colume in the big Bible, though I spelt his Senior with a little
+s, an' writ him down ez the only son of the Senior with the big S, which
+it seems to me fixes it about right for the time bein'.
+
+
+[Illustration: "An' then Sonny, seein' it all over, he come down."]
+
+
+Well, when the rector had got thoo an' he had wropped up his robes an'
+put 'em in his wallet, an' had told us to prepare for conformation, he
+pernounced a blessin' upon us an' went.
+
+Then Sonny seein' it was all over, why, _he come down_. He was wet ez a
+drownded rat, but wife rubbed him off an' give him some hot tea an' he
+come a-snuggin' up in my lap, thess ez sweet a child ez you ever see in
+yo' life, an' I talked to him ez fatherly ez I could, told him we was
+all 'Piscopals now, an' soon ez his little foot got well I was goin' to
+take him out to Sunday-school to tote a banner--all his little 'Piscopal
+friends totes banners--an' thet he could pick out some purty candles for
+the altar, an' he 'lowed immejate thet he'd buy pink ones. Sonny always
+was death on pink--showed it from the time he could snatch a pink
+rose--an' wife she ain't never dressed him in nothin' else. Ever' pair
+o' little breeches he's got is either pink or pink-trimmed.
+
+Well, I talked along to him till I worked 'round to shamin' him a little
+for havin' to be christened settin' up on top a bean-arbor, same ez a
+crow-bird, which I told him the parson he wouldn't 'a' done ef he 'd 'a'
+felt free to 've left it undone. 'Twasn't to indulge him he done it, but
+to bless him an' to comfort our hearts. Well, after I had reasoned with
+him severe that-a-way a while, he says, says he, thess ez sweet an'
+mild, says he, "Daddy, nex' time y'all gits christened, I'll come down
+an' be elms-tened right--like a good boy."
+
+Th' ain't a sweeter child in'ardly 'n what Sonny is, nowheres, git him
+to feel right comf'table, an' I know it, an' that's why I have patience
+with his little out'ard ways.
+
+"Yes, sir," says he; "nex' time I 'll be christened like a good boy."
+
+Then, of co'se, I explained to him thet it couldn't never be did no mo',
+'cause it had been did, an' did 'Piscopal, which is secure. An' then
+what you reckon the little feller said?
+
+Says he, "Yes, daddy, but _s'pos'in' mine don't take_. How 'bout that?"
+
+An' I didn't try to explain no further. What was the use? Wife, she had
+drawed a stool close-t up to my knee, an' set there sortin' out the
+little yaller rings ez they 'd dry out on his head, an' when he said
+that I thess looked at her an' we both looked at him, an' says I,
+"Wife," says I, "ef they's anything in heavenly looks an' behavior, I
+b'lieve that christenin' is started to take on him a'ready."
+
+An' I b'lieve it had.
+
+
+
+
+SONNY'S SCHOOLIN'
+
+[Illustration: 'S']
+
+Well, sir, we're tryin' to edjercate him--good ez we can. Th' ain't
+never been a edjercational advantage come in reach of us but we've give
+it to him. Of co'se he's all we've got, that one boy is, an' wife an'
+me, why, we feel the same way about it.
+
+They's three schools in the county, not countin' the niggers', an' we
+send him to all three.
+
+Sir? Oh, yas, sir; he b'longs to all three schools--to fo' for that
+matter, countin' the home school.
+
+You see, Sonny he's purty ticklish to handle, an' a person has to know
+thess how to tackle him. Even wife an' me, thet's been knowin' him
+f'om the beginnin', not only knowin' his traits, but how he come by
+'em,--though some is hard to trace to their so'ces,--why, sir, even
+we have to study sometimes to keep in with him, an' of co'se a
+teacher--why, it's thess hit an' miss whether he'll take the right tack
+with him or not; an' sometimes one teacher'll strike it one day, an'
+another nex' day; so by payin' schoolin' for him right along in all
+three, why, of co'se, ef he don't feel like goin' to one, why, he'll
+go to another.
+
+Once-t in a while he'll git out with the whole of 'em, an' that was
+how wife come to open the home school for him. She was determined his
+edjercation shouldn't be interrupted ef she could help it. She don't
+encour'ge him much to go to her school, though, 'cause it interrupts her
+in her housekeepin' consider'ble, an' she's had extry quilt-patchin' on
+hand ever since he come. She's patchin' him a set 'ginst the time he'll
+marry.
+
+'An' then I reckon he frets her a good deal in school. Somehow, seems
+like he thess picks up enough in the other schools to be able to
+conterdic' her ways o' teachin'.
+
+F' instance, in addin' up a colume o' figgers, ef she comes to a
+aught--which some calls 'em naughts--she'll say, "Aught's a aught," an'
+Sonny ain't been learned to say it that a-way; an' so maybe when she
+says, "Aught's a aught," he'll say, "Who said it wasn't!" an' that puts
+her out in countin'.
+
+He's been learned to thess pass over aughts an' not call their names;
+and once-t or twice-t, when wife called 'em out that a-way, why, he got
+so fretted he thess gethered up his things an' went to another school.
+But seem like she's added aughts that a-way so long she can't think to
+add 'em no other way.
+
+I notice nights after she's kept school for Sonny all day she talks
+consider'ble in her sleep, an' she says, "Aught's a aught" about ez
+often ez she says anything else.
+
+Oh, yas, sir; he's had consider'ble fusses with his teachers, one way
+an' another, but they ever'one declare they think a heap of 'im.
+
+Sir? Oh, yas, sir; of co'se they all draw their reg'lar pay whether he's
+a day in school du'in' the month or not. That's right enough, 'cause you
+see they don't know what day he's li'ble to drop in on 'em, an' it's
+worth the money thess a-keepin' their nerves strung for 'im.
+
+Well, yas, sir; 't is toler'ble expensive, lookin' at it one way,
+but lookin' at it another, it don't cost no mo' 'n what it would to
+edjercate three child'en, which many poor families have to do--_an'
+more_--which in our united mind Sonny's worth 'em all.
+
+Yas, sir; 't is confusin' to him in some ways, goin' to all three
+schools at once-t.
+
+F' instance, Miss Alviry Sawyer, which she's a single-handed maiden lady
+'bout wife's age, why, of co'se, she teaches accordin' to the old rules;
+an' in learnin' the child'en subtraction, f' instance, she'll tell 'em,
+ef they run short to borry one f'om the nex' lef' han' top figur', an'
+pay it back to the feller underneath him.
+
+Well, this didn't suit Sonny's sense o' jestice no way, borryin' from
+one an' payin' back to somebody else; so he thess up an argued about
+it--told her thet fellers thet borried nickels f'om one another couldn't
+pay back that a-way; an' of co'se she told him they was heap o'
+difference 'twix' money and 'rithmetic--which I wish't they was more in
+my experience; an' so they had it hot and heavy for a while, till at
+last she explained to him thet that way of doin' subtraction _fetched
+the answer_, which, of co'se, ought to satisfy any school-boy; an' I
+reckon Sonny would soon 'a' settled into that way 'ceptin' thet he got
+out o' patience with that school in sev'al ways, an' he left an' went
+out to Sandy Crik school, and it thess happened that he struck a
+subtraction class there the day he got in, an' they was workin' it the
+_other_ way--borry one from the top figur' an' never pay it back at all,
+thess count it off (that's the way I 've worked my lifelong subtraction,
+though wife does hers payin' back), an' of co'se Sonny was ready to
+dispute this way, an' he didn't have no mo' tac' than to th'ow up Miss
+Alviry's way to the teacher, which of co'se he wouldn't stand,
+particular ez Miss Alviry's got the biggest school. So they broke up in
+a row, immejate, and Sonny went right along to Miss Kellogg's school
+down here at the cross-roads.
+
+She's a sort o' reformed teacher, I take it; an' she gets at her
+subtraction by a new route altogether--like ez ef the first feller thet
+had any surplus went sort o security for them thet was short, an' passed
+the loan down the line. But I noticed he never got his money back, for
+when they come to him, why, they docked him. I reckon goin' security is
+purty much the same in an out o' books. She passes the borryin' along
+some way till it gits to headquarters, an' writes a new row o' figur's
+over the heads o' the others. Well, my old brain got so addled watchin'
+Sonny work it thet I didn't seem to know one figur' f'om another 'fo' he
+got thoo; but when I see the answer come, why, I was satisfied. Ef a man
+can thess git his answers right all his life, why nobody ain't a-goin'
+to pester him about how he worked his figur's.
+
+I did try to get Sonny to stick to one school for each rule in
+'rithmetic, an' havin' thess fo' schools, why he could learn each o' the
+fo' rules by one settled plan. But he wont promise nothin'. He'll quit
+for lessons one week, and maybe next week somethin' else 'll decide him.
+(He's quit ever' one of 'em in turn when they come to long division.)
+He went thoo a whole week o' disagreeable lessons once-t at one school
+'cause he was watchin' a bird-nest on the way to that school. He was
+determined them young birds was to be allowed to leave that nest without
+bein' pestered, an' they stayed so long they purty nigh run him into
+long division 'fo' they did fly. Ef he'd 'a' missed school one day he
+knowed two sneaky chaps thet would 'a' robbed that nest, either goin'
+or comin'.
+
+Of co'se Sonny goes to the exhibitions an' picnics of all the schools.
+Last summer we had a time of it when it come picnic season. Two schools
+set the same day for theirs, which of co'se wasn't no ways fair to
+Sonny. He payin' right along in all the schools, of co'se he was
+entitled to all the picnics; so I put on my Sunday clo'es, an' I went
+down an' had it fixed right. They all wanted Sonny, too, come down to
+the truth, 'cause besides bein' fond of him, they knowed thet Sonny
+always fetched a big basket.
+
+
+[Illustration: "He was watchin' a bird-nest on the way to that school."]
+
+
+Trouble with Sonny is thet he don't take nothin' on nobody's say-so,
+don't keer who it is. He even commenced to dispute Moses one Sunday when
+wife was readin' the Holy Scriptures to him, tell of co'se she made him
+understand thet that wouldn't do. Moses didn't intend to _be_
+conterdicted.
+
+An' ez to secular lessons, he ain't got no espec' for 'em whatsoever.
+F' instance, when the teacher learned him thet the world was round, why
+he up an' told him _'t warn't so_, less'n we was on the inside an' it
+was blue-lined, which of co'se teacher he insisted thet we was _on the
+outside_, walkin' over it, all feet todes the center--a thing I've
+always thought myself was mo' easy said than proved.
+
+Well, sir, Sonny didn't hesitate to deny it, an' of co'se teacher he
+commenced by givin' him a check--which is a bad mark--for conterdictin'.
+An' then Sonny he 'lowed thet he didn't conterdic' to _be_
+aconterdictin', but he _knowed't_ warn't so. He had walked the whole
+len'th o' the road 'twix' the farm an' the school-house, an' they warn't
+_no bulge in it_; an' besides, he hadn't never saw over the edges of it.
+
+An' with that teacher he give him another check for speakin' out o'
+turn. An' then Sonny, says he, "Ef a man was tall enough he could see
+around the edges, couldn't he?" "No," says the teacher; "a man couldn't
+grow that tall," says he; "he'd be deformed."
+
+An' Sonny, why, he spoke up again, an' says he, "But I'm thess a-sayin'
+_ef_," says he. "An' teacher," says he, "we ain't a-studyin' _efs_;
+we're studyin' geoger'phy." And then Sonny they say he kep' still a
+minute, an' then he says, says he, "Oh, maybe he couldn't see over the
+edges, teacher, 'cause ef he was tall enough his head might reach up
+into the flo' o' heaven." And with that teacher he give him another
+check, an' told him not to dare to mix up geoger'phy an' religion, which
+was a sackerlege to both studies; an' with that Sonny gethered up his
+books an' set out to another school.
+
+I think myself it 'u'd be thess ez well ef Sonny wasn't quite so quick
+to conterdic'; but it's thess his way of holdin' his p'int.
+
+Why, one day he faced one o' the teachers down thet two an' two didn't
+_haf_ to make _fo_', wh'er or no.
+
+This seemed to tickle the teacher mightily, an' so he laughed an' told
+him he was goin' to give him rope enough to hang hisself now, an' then
+he dared him to show him any two an' two thet didn't make fo', and Sonny
+says, says he, "Heap o' two an' twos don't make four, 'cause they're
+kep' sep'rate," says he.
+
+"An' then," says he, "I don't want my two billy-goats harnessed up with
+nobody else's two billys to make fo' billys."
+
+"But," says the teacher, "suppose I _was_ to harness up yo' two goats
+with Tom Deems's two, there'd be fo' goats, I reckon, whether you wanted
+'em there or not."
+
+"No they wouldn't," says Sonny. "They wouldn't be but two. 'T wouldn't
+take my team more 'n half a minute to butt the life out o' Tom's team."
+
+An' with that little Tommy Deems, why, he commenced to cry, an' 'stid o'
+punishin' him for bein' sech a cry-baby, what did the teacher do but
+give Sonny another check, for castin' slurs on Tommy's animals, an'
+gettin' Tommy's feelin's hurted! Which I ain't a-sayin' it on account o'
+Sonny bein' my boy, but it seems to me was a mighty unfair advantage.
+
+No boy's feelin's ain't got no right to be that tender--an' a goat is
+the last thing on earth thet could be injured by a word of mouth.
+
+Sonny's pets an' beasts has made a heap o' commotion in school one way
+an' another, somehow. Ef 't ain't his goats it's somethin' else.
+
+Sir! Sonny's pets? Oh, they're all sorts. He ain't no ways partic'lar
+thess so a thing is po' an' miser'ble enough. That's about all he seems
+to require of anything.
+
+He don't never go to school hardly 'thout a garter-snake or two or a
+lizard or a toad-frog somewheres about him. He's got some o' the little
+girls at school that nervous thet if he thess shakes his little sleeve
+at 'em they'll squeal, not knowin' what sort o' live critter'll jump out
+of it.
+
+Most of his pets is things he's got by their bein' hurted some way.
+
+One of his toad-frogs is blind of a eye. Sonny rescued him from the old
+red rooster one day after he had nearly pecked him to death, an' he had
+him hoppin' round the kitchen for about a week with one eye bandaged up.
+
+When a hurted critter gits good an' strong he gen'ally turns it loose
+ag'in; but ef it stays puny, why he reg'lar 'dopts it an' names it
+Jones. That's thess a little notion o' his, namin' his pets the family
+name.
+
+The most outlandish thing he ever 'dopted, to my mind, is that old
+yaller cat. That was a miser'ble low-down stray cat thet hung round the
+place a whole season, an' Sonny used to vow he was goin' to kill it,
+'cause it kep' a-ketchin' the birds.
+
+Well, one day he happened to see him thess runnin' off with a young
+mockin'-bird in his mouth, an' he took a brickbat an' he let him have
+it, an' of co'se he dropped the bird an' tumbled over--stunted. The bird
+it got well, and Sonny turned him loose after a few days; but that cat
+was hurted fatal. He couldn't never no mo' 'n drag hisself around from
+that day to this; an' I reckon ef Sonny was called on to give up every
+pet he's got, that cat would be 'bout the last thing he'd surrender. He
+named him Tommy Jones, an' he never goes to school of a mornin', rain or
+shine, till Tommy Jones is fed f'om his own plate with somethin' he's
+left for him special.
+
+Of co'se Sonny he's got his faults, which anybody 'll tell you; but th'
+ain't a dumb brute on the farm but'll foller him around--an' the nigger
+Dicey, why, she thinks they never was such another boy born into the
+world--that is, not no human child.
+
+An' wife an' me--
+
+But of co'se he's ours.
+
+I don't doubt thet he ain't constructed thess exac'ly ez the
+school-teachers would have him, ef they had their way. Sometimes I have
+thought I'd like his disposition eased up a little, myself, when he
+taken a stand ag'in my jedgment or wife's.
+
+Takin' 'em all round, though, the teachers has been mighty patient with
+him.
+
+At one school the teacher did take him out behind the school-house one
+day to whup him; an' although teacher is a big strong man, Sonny's
+mighty wiry an' quick, an' some way he slipped his holt, an' fo' teacher
+could ketch him ag'in he had clumb up the lightnin'-rod on to the roof
+thess like a cat. An' teacher he felt purty shore of him then, 'cause he
+'lowed they wasn't no other way to git down (which they wasn't, the
+school bein' a steep-sided buildin'), an' he 'd wait for him.
+
+So teacher he set down close-t to the lightnin'-rod to wait. He wouldn't
+go back in school without him, cause he didn't want the child'en to know
+he'd got away. So down he set; but he hadn't no mo' 'n took his seat
+sca'cely when he heerd the child'en in school roa'in' out loud, laughin'
+fit to kill theirselves.
+
+He lowed at first thet like ez not the monitor was cuttin' up some sort
+o' didoes, the way monitors does gen'ally, so he waited a-while; but it
+kep' a-gittin' worse, so d'rectly he got up, an' he went in to see what
+the excitement was about; an'lo and beholt! Sonny had slipped down the
+open chimbly right in amongst 'em--come out a-grinnin', with his face
+all sooted over, an', says he, "Say, fellers," says he, "I run up the
+lightnin'-rod, an' he's a-waitin' for me to come down." An' with that he
+went an' gethered up his books, deliberate, an'fetched his hat, an'
+picked up a nest o' little chimbly-swallows he had dislodged in comin'
+down (all this here it happened thess las' June), an' he went out an'
+harnessed up his goat-wagon, an' got in. An' thess ez he driv' out the
+school-yard into the road the teacher come in, an' he see how things
+was.
+
+Of co'se sech conduct ez that is worrisome, but I don't see no, to say,
+bad principle in it. Sonny ain't got a bad habit on earth, not a-one.
+They'll ever' one o' the teachers tell you that. He ain't never been
+knowed to lie, an' ez for improper language, why he wouldn't know how to
+select it. An' ez to tattlin' at home about what goes on in school, why,
+he never has did it. The only way we knowed about him comin' down the
+school-house chimbly was wife went to fetch his dinner to him, an' she
+found it out.
+
+
+[Illustration: "He had been playin' out o' doors bare-feeted."]
+
+
+She knowed he had went to that school in the mornin', an' when she
+got there at twelve o'clock, why he wasn't there, an' of co'se she
+questioned the teacher, an' he thess told her thet Sonny had been
+present at the mornin' session, but thet he was now absent. An' the
+rest of it she picked out o' the child'en.
+
+Oh, no, sir; she don't take his dinner to him reg'lar--only some days
+when she happens to have somethin' extry good, or maybe when she
+'magines he didn't eat hearty at breakfast. The school-child'en they
+always likes to see her come, because she gen'ally takes a extry lot o'
+fried chicken thess for him to give away. He don't keer much for nothin'
+but livers an' gizzards, so we have to kill a good many to get enough
+for him; an' of co'se the fryin' o' the rest of it is mighty little
+trouble.
+
+Sonny is a bothersome child one way: he don't never want to take his
+dinner to school with him. Of co'se thess after eatin' breakfas' he
+don't feel hungry, an' when wife does coax him to take it, he'll seem to
+git up a appetite walkin' to school, an' he'll eat it up 'fo' he gits
+there.
+
+Sonny's got a mighty noble disposition, though, take him all round.
+
+Now, the day he slipped down that chimbly an' run away he wasn't a bit
+flustered, an' he didn't play hookey the balance of the day neither. He
+thess went down to the crik, an' washed the soot off his face, though
+they say he didn't no more 'n smear it round, an' then he went down to
+Miss Phoebe's school, an' stayed there till it was out. An' she took him
+out to the well, an' washed his face good for him. But nex' day he up
+an' went back to Mr. Clark's school--walked in thess ez pleasant an'
+kind, an' taken his seat an' said his lessons--never th'owed it up to
+teacher at all. Now, some child'en, after playin' off on a teacher that
+a-way would a' took advantage, but he never. It was a fair fight, an'
+Sonny whupped, an' that's all there was to it; an' he never put on no
+air about it.
+
+Wife did threaten to go herself an' make the teacher apologize for
+gittin' the little feller all sooted up an' sp'iln' his clo'es; but she
+thought it over, an' she decided thet she wouldn't disturb things ez
+long ez they was peaceful. An', after all, he didn't exac'ly send him
+down the chimbly nohow, though he provoked him to it.
+
+Ef Sonny had 'a' fell an' hurted hisself, though, in that chimbly, I'd
+'a' helt that teacher responsible, shore.
+
+Sonny says hisself thet the only thing he feels bad about in that
+chimbly business is thet one o' the little swallers' wings was broke by
+the fall. Sonny's got him yet, an' he's li'ble to keep him, cause he'll
+never fly. Named him Swally Jones, an' reg'lar 'dopted him soon ez he
+see how his wing was.
+
+Sonny's the only child I ever see in my life thet could take young
+chimbly-swallers after their fall an' make em' live. But he does it
+reg'lar. They ain't a week passes sca'cely but he fetches in some hurted
+critter an' works with it. Dicey says thet half the time she's afeerd to
+step around her cook-stove less'n she'll step on some critter thet's
+crawled back to life where he's put it under the stove to hatch or thaw
+out, which she bein' bare-feeted, I don't wonder at.
+
+An' he has did the same way at school purty much. It got so for a-while
+at one school thet not a child in school could be hired to put his hand
+in the wood-box, not knowin' ef any piece o' bark or old wood in it
+would turn out to be a young alligator or toad-frog thawin' out. Teacher
+hisself picked up a chip, reckless, one day, an' it hopped up, and
+knocked off his spectacles. Of cose it wasn't no chip. Hopper-toad frogs
+an' wood-bark chips, why, they favors consider'ble--lay 'em same side
+up.
+
+It was on account o' her takin' a interest in all his little beasts
+an' varmints thet he first took sech a notion to Miss Phoebe Kellog's
+school. Where any other teacher would scold about sech things ez he'd
+fetch in, why, she'd encourage him to bring 'em to her; an' she'd fix
+a place for 'em, an' maybe git out some book tellin' all about 'em, an'
+showin' pictures of 'em.
+
+She's had squir'l-books, an' bird-books, an' books on nearly every sort
+o' wild critter you'd think too mean to _put_ into a book, at that
+school, an' give the child'en readin'-lessons on 'em an' drawin'-lessons
+an' clay-moldin' lessons.
+
+Why, Sonny has did his alligator so nach'l in clay thet you'd most
+expec' to see it creep away. An' you'd think mo' of alligators forever
+afterward, too. An' ez to readin', he never did take no interest in
+learnin' how to read out'n them school-readers, which he declares don't
+no more'n git a person interested in one thing befo' they start on
+another, an' maybe start _that_ in the middle.
+
+The other teachers, they makes a heap o' fun o' Miss Phoebe's way
+o' school-teachin', 'cause she lets the child'en ask all sorts of
+outlandish questions, an' make pictures in school hours, an' she
+don't requi' 'em to fold their arms in school, neither.
+
+Maybe she is foolin' their time away. I can't say ez I exac'ly see how
+she's a workin' it to edjercate 'em that a-way. I had to set with my
+arms folded eight hours a day in school when I was a boy, to learn the
+little I know, an' wife she got her edjercation the same way. An' we
+went clean thoo f'om the _a-b abs_ an' _e-b ebs_ clair to the end o' the
+blue-back speller.
+
+An' we learned to purnounce a heap mo' words than either one of us has
+ever needed to know, though there has been times, sech ez when my wife's
+mother took the phthisic an' I had the asthma, thet I was obligated to
+write to the doctor about it, thet I was thankful for my experience in
+the blue-back speller. Them was our brag-words, phthisic and asthma was.
+They's a few other words I've always hoped to have a chance to spell in
+the reg'lar co'se of life, sech ez y-a-c-h-t, yacht, but I suppose,
+livin' in a little inland town, which a yacht is a boat, a person
+couldn't be expected to need sech a word--less'n he went travelin'.
+
+I've often thought thet ef at the Jedgment the good Lord would only
+examine me an' all them thet went to school in my day, in the old
+blue-back speller 'stid o' tacklin' us on the weak pints of our pore
+mortal lives, why, we'd stand about ez good a chance o' gettin' to
+heaven ez anybody else. An' maybe He will--who knows?
+
+But ez for book-readin', wife an' me aint never felt called on to read
+no book save an' exceptin' the Holy Scriptures--an', of cose, the seed
+catalogues.
+
+An' here Sonny, not quite twelve year old, has read five books thoo, an'
+some of 'em twice-t an' three times over. His "Robinson Crusoe" shows
+mo' wear'n tear'n what my Testament does, I'm ashamed to say. I've done
+give Miss Phoebe free license to buy him any book she wants him to have,
+an' he's got 'em all 'ranged in a row on the end o' the mantel-shelf.
+
+Quick ez he'd git thoo readin' a book, of co'se wife she'd be for
+dustin' it off and puttin' up on the top closet shelf where a book
+nach'ally belongs; but seem like Sonny he wants to keep 'em in sight.
+So wife she'd worked a little lace shelf-cover to lay under 'em, an'
+we've hung our framed marriage-c'tificate above 'em, an' the corner
+looks right purty, come to see it fixed up.
+
+Sir? Oh, no; we ain't took him from none o' the other schools yet. He's
+been goin' to Miss Phoebe's reg'lar now--all but the exhibition an'
+picnic days in the other schools--for nearly five months, not countin'
+off-an'-on days he went to her befo' he settled down to it stiddy.
+
+He says he's a-goin' there reg'lar from this time on, an' I b'lieve he
+will; but wife an' me we talked it over, an' we decided we'd let things
+stand, an' keep his name down on all the books till sech a time ez he
+come to long division with Miss Kellog.
+
+An' ef he stays thoo that, we'll feel free to notify the other schools
+thet he's quit.
+
+
+
+
+SONNY'S DIPLOMA
+
+[Illustration: 'Y']
+
+
+Yas, sir; this is it. This here's Sonny's diplomy thet you've heerd so
+much about--sheepskin they call it, though it ain't no mo' sheepskin 'n
+what I am. I've skinned too many not to know. Thess to think o' little
+Sonny bein' a grad'jate--an' all by his own efforts, too! It is a
+plain-lookin' picture, ez you say, to be framed up in sech a fine gilt
+frame; but it's worth it, an' I don't begrudge it to him. He picked out
+that red plush hisself. He's got mighty fine taste for a country-raised
+child, Sonny has.
+
+Seem like the oftener I come here an' stan' before it, the prouder I
+feel, an' the mo' I can't reelize thet he done it.
+
+I'd 'a' been proud enough to've had him go through the reg'lar co'se
+o' study, an' be awarded this diplomy, but to 've seen 'im thess walk
+in an' demand it, the way he done, an' to prove his right in a fair
+fight--why, it tickles me so thet I thess seem to git a spell o' the
+giggles ev'y time I think about it.
+
+Sir? How did he do it? Why, I thought eve'ybody in the State of Arkansas
+knowed how Sonny walked over the boa'd o' school directors, an' took a
+diplomy in the face of Providence, at the last anniversary.
+
+I don't know thet I ought to say that either, for they never was a
+thing done mo' friendly an' amiable on earth, on his part, than the
+takin' of this dockiment. Why, no; of co'se he wasn't goin' to that
+school--cert'n'y not. Ef he had b'longed to that school, they wouldn't
+'a' been no question about it. He 'd 'a' thess gradj'ated with the
+others. An' when he went there with his ma an' me, why, he'll tell you
+hisself that he hadn't no mo' idee of gradj'atin' 'n what I have this
+minute.
+
+An' when he riz up in his seat, an' announced his intention, why, you
+could 'a' knocked me down with a feather. You see, it took me so sudden,
+an' I didn't see thess how he was goin' to work it, never havin' been to
+that school.
+
+Of co'se eve'ybody in the county goes to the gradj'atin', an' we was all
+three settin' there watchin' the performances, not thinkin' of any
+special excitement, when Sonny took this idee.
+
+It seems thet seein' all the other boys gradj'ate put him in the notion,
+an' he felt like ez ef he ought to be a-gradj'atin', too.
+
+You see, he had went to school mo' or less with all them fellers, an'
+he knowed thet they didn't, none o' 'em, know half ez much ez what he
+did,--though, to tell the truth, he ain't never said sech a word, not
+even to her or me,--an', seein' how easy they was bein' turned out, why,
+he thess reelized his own rights--an' demanded 'em then an' there.
+
+Of co'se we know thet they is folks in this here community thet says
+thet he ain't got no right to this dipiomy; but what else could you
+expect in a jealous neighborhood where eve'ybody is mo' or less kin?
+
+The way I look at it, they never was a diplomy earned quite so upright
+ez this on earth--never. Ef it wasn't, why, I wouldn't allow him to have
+it, no matter how much pride I would 'a' took, an' do take, in it. But
+for a boy o' Sonny's age to've had the courage to face all them people,
+an' ask to be examined then an' there, an' to come out ahead, the way he
+done, why, it does me proud, that it does.
+
+You see, for a boy to set there seein' all them know-nothin' boys
+gradj'ate, one after another, offhand, the way they was doin', was
+mighty provokin', an' when Sonny is struck with a sense of injestice,
+why, he ain't never been known to bear it in silence. He taken that from
+_her_ side o' the house.
+
+I noticed, ez he set there that day, thet he begin to look toler'ble
+solemn, for a festival, but it never crossed my mind what he was
+a-projeckin' to do. Ef I had 'a' suspicioned it, I'm afeered I would've
+opposed it, I'd 'a' been so skeert he wouldn't come out all right; an'
+ez I said, I didn't see, for the life o' me, how he was goin' to work
+it.
+
+That is the only school in the county thet he ain't never went to,
+'cause it was started after he had settled down to Miss Phoebe's school.
+He wouldn't hardly 'v went to it, nohow, though--less'n, of co'se, he 'd
+'a' took a notion. Th' ain't no 'casion to send him to a county school
+when he's the only one we've got to edjercate. They ain't been a thing
+I've enjoyed ez much in my life ez my sackerfices on account o' Sonny's
+edjercation--not a one. Th' ain't a patch on any ol' coat I've got but
+seems to me to stand for some advantage to him.
+
+Well, sir, it was thess like I'm a-tellin' you. He set still ez long ez
+he could, an' then he riz an' spoke. Says he, "I have decided thet I'd
+like to do a little gradj'atin' this evenin' myself," thess that a-way.
+
+An' when he spoke them words, for about a minute you could 'a' heerd a
+pin drop; an' then eve'ybody begin a-screechin' with laughter. A person
+would think thet they'd 'a' had some consideration for a child standin'
+up in the midst o' sech a getherin', tryin' to take his own part; but
+they didn't. They thess laughed immod'rate. But they didn't faze him.
+He had took his station on the flo', an' he helt his ground.
+
+Thess ez soon ez he could git a heerin', why, he says, says he: "I don't
+want anybody to think thet I'm a-tryin' to take any advantage. I don't
+expec' to gradj'ate without passin' my examination. An', mo' 'n that,"
+says he, "I am ready to pass it now." An' then he went on to explain
+thet he would like to have anybody present _thet was competent to do it_
+to step forward an' examine him--then an' there. An' he said thet ef he
+was examined fair and square, to the satisfaction of eve'ybody--_an'
+didn't pass_--why, he 'd give up the p'int. An' he wanted to be examined
+oral--in eve'ybody's hearin'--free-handed an' outspoke.
+
+
+[Illustration: "Any question he missed was to be passed on to them thet
+had been grad'jatin' so fast."]
+
+
+Well, sir, seem like folks begin to see a little fun ahead in lettin'
+him try it--which I don't see thess how they could 'a' hindered him,
+an' it a free school, an' me a taxpayer. But they all seemed to be in a
+pretty good humor by this time, an' when Sonny put it to vote, why, they
+voted unanymous to let him try it. An' all o' them unanymous votes
+wasn't, to say, friendly, neither. Heap o' them thet was loudest in
+their unanimosity was hopefully expectin' to see him whipped out at the
+first question. Tell the truth, I mo' 'n half feared to see it myself.
+I was that skeert I was fairly all of a trimble.
+
+Well, when they had done votin', Sonny, after first thankin' 'em,--which
+I think was a mighty polite thing to do, an' they full o' the giggles at
+his little expense that minute,--why, he went on to say thet he requie'd
+'em to make _thess one condition_, an' that was thet any question he
+missed was to be passed on to them thet had been a-gradj'atin' so fast,
+an' ef they missed it, it wasn't to be counted ag'inst him.
+
+Well, when he come out with that, which, to my mind, couldn't be beat
+for fairness, why, some o' the mothers they commenced to look purty
+serious, an' seem like ez ef they didn't find it quite so funny ez it
+had been. You see, they _say_ thet them boys had eve'y one had reg'lar
+questions give' out to 'em, an' eve'y last one had studied his own word;
+an' ef they was to be questioned hit an' miss, why they wouldn't 'a'
+stood no chance on earth.
+
+Of co'se they couldn't give Sonny the same questions thet had _been_
+give' out, because he had heerd the answers, an' it wouldn't 'a' been
+fair. So Sonny he told 'em to thess set down, an' make out a list of
+questions thet they'd all agree was about of a' equal hardness to them
+thet had been ast, an' was of thess the kind of learnin' thet all the
+reg'lar gradj'ates's minds was sto'ed with, an' thet either he knowed
+'em or he didn't--one.
+
+It don't seem so excitin', somehow, when I tell about it now; but I tell
+you for about a minute or so, whilst they was waitin' to see who would
+undertake the job of examinin' him, why, it seemed thet eve'y minute
+would be the next, ez my ol' daddy used to say. The only person present
+thet seemed to take things anyway ca'm was Miss Phoebe Kellog, Sonny's
+teacher. She has been teachin' him reg'lar for over two years now, an'
+ef she had 'a' had a right to give diplomies, why, Sonny would 'a' thess
+took out one from her; but she ain't got no license to gradj'ate nobody.
+But she knowed what Sonny knowed, an' she knowed thet ef he had a fair
+show, he'd come thoo creditable to all hands. She loves Sonny thess
+about ez much ez we do, I believe, take it all round. Th' ain't never
+been but one time in these two years thet she has, to say, got me out o'
+temper, an' that was the day she said to me thet her sure belief was
+thet Sonny was goin' to _make somethin' out'n hisself some day_--like ez
+ef he hadn't already made mo' 'n could be expected of a boy of his age.
+Tell the truth, I never in my life come so near sayin' somethin' I'd 'a'
+been shore to regret ez I did on that occasion. But of co'se I know she
+didn't mean it. All she meant was thet he would turn out even mo' 'n
+what he was now, which would be on'y nachel, with his growth.
+
+Everybody knows thet it was her that got him started with his
+collections an' his libr'y. Oh, yes; he's got the best libr'y in the
+county, 'cep'n', of co'se, the doctor's 'n' the preacher's--everybody
+round about here knows about that. He's got about a hund'ed books an'
+over. Well, sir, when he made that remark, thet any question thet he
+missed was to be give to the class, why, the whole atmosp'ere took on a
+change o' temp'ature. Even the teacher was for backin' out o' the whole
+business square; but he didn't thess seem to dare to say so. You see,
+after him a-favorin' it, it would 'a' been a dead give-away.
+
+Eve'ybody there had saw him step over an' whisper to Brother Binney when
+it was decided to give Sonny a chance, an' they knowed thet he had asked
+_him_ to examine him. But now, instid o' callin' on Brother Binney, why,
+he thess said, says he: "I suppose I ought not to shirk this duty. Ef
+it's to be did," says he, "I reckon I ought to do it--an' do it I will."
+You see, he daresn't allow Brother Binney to put questions, for fear
+he'd call out some thet his smarty grad'jates couldn't answer.
+
+So he thess claired his th'oat, an' set down a minute to consider. An'
+then he riz from his seat, an' remarked, with a heap o' _hems_ and
+_haws_, thet of co'se everybody knowed thet Sonny Jones had had unusual
+advantages in some respec's, but thet it was one thing for a boy to
+spend his time a-picnickin' in the woods, getherin' all sorts of natural
+curiosities, but it was quite another to be a scholar accordin' to
+books, so's to be able to pass sech a' examination ez would be a credit
+to a State institution o' learnin', sech ez the one over which he was
+proud to preside. That word struck me partic'lar, "proud to preside,"
+which, in all this, of co'se, I see he was castin' a slur on Sonny's
+collections of birds' eggs, an' his wild flowers, an' wood specimens,
+an' min'rals. He even went so far ez to say thet ol' Proph', the
+half-crazy nigger thet tells fortunes, an' gethers herbs out 'n the
+woods, an' talks to hisself, likely knew more about a good many things
+than anybody present, but thet, bein' ez he didn't know _b_ from a
+bull's foot, why, it wouldn't hardly do to grad'jate him--not castin' no
+slurs on Master Sonny Jones, nor makin' no invijus comparisons, of
+co'se.
+
+Well, sir, there was some folks there thet seemed to think this sort o'
+talk was mighty funny an' smart. Some o' the mothers acchilly giggled
+over it out loud, they was so mightily tickled. But Sonny he thess stood
+his ground an' waited. Most any boy o' his age would 'a' got flustered,
+but he didn't. He thess glanced around unconcerned at all the people
+a-settin' around him, thess like ez ef they might 'a' been askin' him to
+a picnic instid o' him provokin' a whole school committee to wrath.
+
+Well, sir, it took that school-teacher about a half-hour to pick out the
+first question, an' he didn't pick it out _then_. He 'd stop, an' he'd
+look at the book, an' then he'd look at Sonny, an' then he'd look at the
+class,--an' then he'd turn a page, like ez ef he couldn't make up his
+mind, an' was afeerd to resk it, less'n it might be missed, an' be
+referred back to the class. I never did see a man so overwrought
+over a little thing in my life--never. They do say, though, that
+school-teachers feels mighty bad when their scholars misses any p'int
+in public.
+
+Well, sir, he took so long that d'reckly everybody begin to git wo'e
+out, an' at last Sonny, why, he got tired, too, an' he up an' says, says
+he, "Ef you can't make up your mind what to ask me, teacher, why 'n't
+you let me ask myself questions? An' ef my questions seem too easy, why,
+I'll put 'em to the class."
+
+An', sir, with that he thess turns round, an' he says, says he, "Sonny
+Jones," says he, addressin' hisself, "what's the cause of total eclipses
+of the sun?" Thess that a-way he said it; an' then he turned around, an'
+he says, says he:
+
+"Is that a hard enough question?"
+
+"Very good," says teacher.
+
+An', with that, Sonny he up an' picks up a' orange an' a' apple off the
+teacher's desk, an' says he, "This orange is the earth, an' this here
+apple is the sun." An', with that, he explained all they is to total
+eclipses. I can't begin to tell you thess how he expressed it, because I
+ain't highly edjercated myself, an' I don't know the specifactions. But
+when he had got thoo, he turned to the teacher, an' says he, "Is they
+anything else thet you'd like to know about total eclipses?" An' teacher
+says, says he, "Oh, no; not at all."
+
+They do say thet them graduates hadn't never went so far _ez_ total
+eclipses, an' teacher wouldn't 'a' had the subject mentioned to 'em for
+nothin'; but I don't say that's so.
+
+Well, then, Sonny he turned around, an' looked at the company, an' he
+says, "Is everybody satisfied?" An' all the mothers an' fathers nodded
+their heads "yes."
+
+An' then he waited thess a minute, an' he says, says he, "Well, now I'll
+put the next question:
+
+"Sonny Jones," says he, "what is the difference between dew an' rain an'
+fog an' hail an' sleet an' snow!
+
+"Is that a hard enough question?"
+
+
+[Illustration: "'This orange is the earth, an' this here apple is the
+sun.'"]
+
+
+Well, from that he started in, an' he didn't stop tell he had expounded
+about every kind of dampness that ever descended from heaven or rose
+from the earth. An' after that, why, he went on a-givin' out one
+question after another, an' answerin 'em, tell everybody had declared
+theirselves entirely satisfied that he was fully equipped to
+gradj'ate--an', tell the truth, I don't doubt thet a heap of 'em felt
+their minds considerably relieved to have it safe-t over with without
+puttin' their grad'jates to shame, when what does he do but say, "Well,
+ef you're satisfied, why, I am--an' yet," says he, "I think I would like
+to ask myself one or two hard questions more, thess to make shore." An'
+befo' anybody could stop him, he had said:
+
+"Sonny Jones, what is the reason thet a bird has feathers and a dog has
+hair?" An' then he turned around deliberate, an' answered: "I don't
+know. Teacher, please put that question to the class."
+
+Teacher had kep' his temper purty well up to this time, but I see he was
+mad now, an' he riz from his chair, an' says he: "This examination has
+been declared finished, an' I think we have spent ez much time on it ez
+we can spare." An' all the mothers they nodded their heads, an' started
+a-whisperin'--most impolite.
+
+An' at that, Sonny, why, he thess set down as modest an' peaceable ez
+anything; but ez he was settin' he remarked that he was in hopes thet
+some o' the reg'lars would 'a' took time to answer a few questions thet
+had bothered his mind f'om time to time--an' of c'ose they must know;
+which, to my mind, was the modes'est remark a boy ever did make.
+
+Well, sir, that's the way this diplomy was earned--by a good, hard
+struggle, in open daylight, by unanymous vote of all concerned--an'
+unconcerned, for that matter. An' my opinion is thet if they are those
+who have any private opinions about it, an' they didn't express 'em that
+day, why they ain't got no right to do it underhanded, ez I am sorry to
+say has been done.
+
+But it's _his_ diplomy, an' it's handsomer fixed up than any in town,
+an' I doubt ef they ever was one _anywhere_ thet was took more paternal
+pride in.
+
+Wife she ain't got so yet thet she can look at it without sort o'
+cryin'--thess the look of it seems to bring back the figure o' the
+little feller, ez he helt his ground, single-handed, at that gradj'atin'
+that day.
+
+Well, sir, we was so pleased to have him turned out a full gradj'ate
+thet, after it was all over, why, I riz up then and there, though I
+couldn't hardly speak for the lump in my th'oat, an' I said thet I
+wanted to announce thet Sonny was goin' to have a gradj'atin' party out
+at our farm that day week, an' thet the present company was all invited.
+
+An' he did have it, too; an' they all come, every mother's son of
+'em--from _a_ to _izzard_--even to them that has expressed secret
+dissatisfactions; which they was all welcome, though it does seem to me
+thet, ef I 'd been in their places, I'd 'a' hardly had the face to come
+an' talk, too.
+
+I'm this kind of a disposition myself: ef I was ever to go to any kind
+of a collation thet I expressed disapproval of, why, the supper couldn't
+be good enough not to choke me.
+
+An' Sonny, why, he's constructed on the same plan. We ain't never told
+him of any o' the remarks thet has been passed. They might git his
+little feelin's hurted, an' 't wouldn't do no good, though some few has
+been made to his face by one or two smarty, ill-raised boys.
+
+Well, sir, we give 'em a fine party, ef I do say it myself, an' they
+all had a good time. Wife she whipped up eggs an' sugar for a week
+befo'hand, an' we set the table out under the mulberries. It took
+eleven little niggers to wait on 'em, not countin' them thet worked
+the fly-fans. An' Sonny he ast the blessin'.
+
+Then, after they'd all et, Sonny he had a' exhibition of his little
+specimens. He showed 'em his bird eggs, an' his wood samples, an' his
+stamp album, an' his scroll-sawed things, an' his clay-moldin's, an' all
+his little menagerie of animals an' things. I rather think everybody was
+struck when they found thet Sonny knowed the botanical names of every
+one of the animals he's ever tamed, an' every bird. Miss Phoebe, she
+didn't come to the front much. She stayed along with wife, an' helped
+'tend to the company, but I could see she looked on with pride; an' I
+don't want nothin' said about it, but the boa'd of school directors was
+so took with the things she had taught Sonny thet, when the evenin' was
+over, they ast her to accept a situation in the academy next year, an'
+she's goin' to take it.
+
+An' she says thet ef Sonny will take a private co'se of instruction in
+nachel sciences, an' go to a few lectures, why, th' ain't nobody on
+earth that she 'd ruther see come into that academy ez teacher,--that
+is, of co'se, in time. But I doubt ef he'd ever keer for it.
+
+I've always thought thet school-teachin', to be a success, has to run in
+families, same ez anythin' else--yet, th' ain't no tellin'.
+
+I don't keer what he settles on when he's grown; I expect to take pride
+in _the way he'll do it_--an' that's the principal thing, after all.
+
+It's the "Well done" we're all a-hopin' to hear at the last day; an' the
+po' laborer thet digs a good ditch'll have thess ez good a chance to
+hear it ez the man that owns the farm.
+
+
+
+
+SONNY "KEEPIN' COMPANY"
+
+
+[Illustration: 'H']
+
+Hello, doc'; come in! Don't ask me to shake hands, though; 't least, not
+tell I can drop this 'ere piece o' ribbin.
+
+I never reelized how much shenanigan it took to tie a bow o' ribbin tell
+I started experimentin' with this here buggy-whup o' Sonny's.
+
+An' he wants it tied _thess so_. He's a reg'lar Miss Nancy, come to
+taste.
+
+All the boys, nowadays, they seem to think thet ez soon ez they
+commence to keep company, they must have ribbin bows tied on their
+buggy-whups--an' I reckon it's in accordance, ef anything is. I thess
+called you in to look at his new buggy, doctor. You've had your first
+innin's, ez the base-ball fellers says, at all o' his various an' sundry
+celebrations, from his first appearance to his gradj'atin', and I'll
+call your attention to a thing I wouldn't mention to a' outsider.
+
+Sence he taken a notion to take the girls out a-ridin', why, I intend
+for him to do it in proper style; an' I went an' selected this buggy
+myself.
+
+It is sort o' fancy, maybe, for the country, but I knew he'd like it
+fancy--at his age. I got it good an' high, so's it could straddle stumps
+good. They's so many tree-stumps in our woods, an' I know Sonny ain't
+a-goin' to drive nowhere _but_ in the woods so long ez they's a livin'
+thin' to scurry away at his approach, or a flower left in bloom, or a
+last year's bird's nest to gether. An' the little Sweetheart, why, she's
+got so thet she's ez anxious to fetch home things to study over ez he
+is.
+
+Yas; I think it is, ez you say, a fus'-class little buggy.
+
+Sonny ain't never did nothin' half-ways,--not even mischief,--an'
+I ain't a-goin' in, at this stage o' his raisin', to stint him.
+
+List'n at me sayin' "raisin'" ag'in, after all Miss Phoebe has preached
+to me about it! She claims thet folks has to be fetched up,--or "brung
+up" I believe she calls it,--an' I don't doubt she knows.
+
+She allows thet pigs is raised, an' potaters, an' even chickens; an' she
+said, one day, thet ef I insisted on "raisin'" child'en, she'd _raise a
+row_. She's a quick hand to turn a joke, Miss Phoebe is.
+
+Nobody thet ever lived in Simpkinsville would claim thet rows couldn't
+be raised, I'm shore, after all the fuss thet's been made over puttin'
+daytime candles in our 'piscopal church. Funny how folks'll fuss about
+sech a little thing when, ef they'd stop to think, they's so many mo'
+important subjec's thet they could git up diffe'nces of opinion on.
+
+I didn't see no partic'lar use in lightin' the candles myself, bein' ez
+we didn't need 'em to see by, an' shorely the good Lord thet can speak
+out a sun any time he needs a extry taper couldn't be said to take no
+pleasure in a Simpkinsville home-dipped candle. But the way I look at
+it, seem like ef some wants em, why not?
+
+Th' ain't nothin' mo' innercent than a lighted candle,--kep' away up on
+the wall out o' the draft, the way they are in church,--an' so, when it
+come to votin' on it, why, I count peace an' good-will so far ahead o'
+taller thet I voted thet I was good for ez many candles ez any other man
+would give. An' quick ez I said them words, why, Enoch Johnson up an'
+doubled his number. It tickled me to see him do it, too.
+
+Enoch hates me thess because he's got a stupid boy--like ez ef that was
+any o' my fault. His Sam failed to pass at the preliminar' examination,
+an' wasn't allowed to try for a diplomy in public; an' Enoch an' his
+wife, why, they seem to hold it ag'in' me thet Sonny could step in at
+the last moment an' take what their boy could n't git th'oo the trials
+an' tribulations of a whole year o' bein' teached lessons at home an'
+wrestled in prayer over.
+
+I ain't got a thing ag'in' Enoch, not a thing--not even for makin' me
+double my number o' candles. Mo' 'n that, I'd brighten up Sam's mind for
+'im in a minute, ef I could.
+
+I never was jealous-hearted. An' neither is Sonny.
+
+He sent Sam a special invite to his gradj'atin' party, an' give him a
+seat next to hisself so's he could say "Amen" to his blessin', thess
+because he had missed gittin' his diplomy. Everybody there knowed why
+he done it.
+
+But talkin' about Sonny being "raised," I told Miss Phoebe thet we'd
+_haf_ to stop sayin' it about _him_, right or wrong, ez a person can't
+raise nothin' higher 'n what he is hisself, an Sonny's taller 'n either
+wife or me, an' he ain't but sixteen. Ef we raised 'im partly, we must
+'a' sent 'im up the rest o' the way. It's a pleasure to pass a little
+joke with Miss Phoebe; she's got sech a good ear to ketch their p'ints.
+
+But, come to growin', Sonny never asked nobody no odds. He thess stayed
+stock-still ez long ez he found pleasure in bein' a little runt, an'
+then he humped hisself an' shot up same ez a sparrer-grass stalk. It
+gives me pleasure to look up to him the way I haf to.
+
+Fact is, he always did require me to look _up_ to 'im, even when I
+looked _down_ at 'im.
+
+Yas, sir; ez I said, Sonny has commenced keepin'
+company,--outspoke,--an' I can't say thet I'm opposed to it, though some
+would say he was a little young, maybe. I know when I was his age I had
+been in love sev'al times. Of co'se these first little puppy-dog loves,
+why, th' ain't no partic'lar harm in 'em--less'n they're opposed.
+
+An' we don't lay out to oppose Sonny--not in nothin' thet he'll
+attemp'--after him bein' raised an' guided up to this age.
+
+There goes that word "raisin'" agi'n.
+
+He's been in love with his teacher, Miss Phoebe, most three years--an'
+'cep'n' thet I had a sim'lar experience when I was sca'cely out o' the
+cradle, why, I might 'a' took it mo' serious.
+
+That sort o' fallin' in love, why, it comes same ez the measles or
+the two-year-old teeth, an' th' ain't nothin' sweeter ef it's took
+philosophical.
+
+It's mighty hard, though, for parents, thet knows thess how recent a
+child is, to reconcile the facts o' the case with sech things ez him
+takin' notice to the color o' ribbin on a middle-aged school-teacher's
+hair--an' it sprinkled with gray.
+
+Sonny was worse plegged than most boys, because, havin' two lady
+teachers at that time, it took him sort o' duplicated like.
+
+I suppose ef he'd had another, he'd 'a' been equally distributed on
+all three.
+
+The way I look at it, a sensible, serious-minded woman thet starts out
+to teach school--which little fellers they ain't got no sense on earth,
+nohow--ain't got no business with ribbin-bows an' ways an' moles on
+their cheek-bones. An' ef they've got knuckles, they ought to be like
+wife's or mine, pointed outward for useful service, instid o' bein'
+turned inside out to attract a young child's admiration--not thet I hold
+it against Miss Phoebe thet her knuckles is reversed. Of co'se she can't
+be very strong-fingered. No finger could git much purchase on a dimple.
+
+'T ain't none of her fault, I know. But Sonny has seen the day thet seem
+like he couldn't talk about another thing but her an' her dimpled
+knuckles--them an' that little brown mole thet sets out on the aidge of
+her eyebrow.
+
+I think myself thet that mole looks right well, for a blemish, which
+wife says it is, worst kind. But of co'se a child couldn't be expected
+to know that. It did seem a redic'lous part o' speech the first time he
+mentioned sech a thing to his mother, but a boy o' twelve couldn't be
+expected to know the difference between a mountain an' a mole-hill.
+
+I ricollec' he used to talk in his sleep consider'ble when he was a
+little chap, an' it always fretted wife turrible. She'd git up out o'
+bed thess ez soon ez he'd begin to hold fo'th, an' taller him over.
+Whenever she didn't seem to know what else to do, why, she'd taller him;
+an' I don't reckon there's anything less injurious to a child, asleep or
+awake, _than_ taller.
+
+She's tallored him for his long division, an' she's tallered him for
+that blemish on Miss Phoebe's cheek, an' she's tallered him for clairin'
+of his th'oat. His other lady teacher, Miss Alviry Sawyer, she was a
+single-handed maiden lady long'bout wife's age, an' she didn't have a
+feature on earth thet a friend would seem to have a right to mention,
+she not bein' to blame; but she had a way o' clairin' her th'oat, sort
+o' polite, befo' she'd open her mouth to speak. Sonny, he seemed to
+think it was mighty graceful the way she done it, an' he's often
+imitated it in his little sleep--nights when he'd eat hot waffles for
+his supper.
+
+An' wife she'd always jump up an' git the mutton taller. I never took it
+serious myself, 'cause I know how a triflin' thing 'll sometimes turn a
+level-headed little chap into a drizzlin' ejiot. I been there myself.
+
+But th' ain't no danger in it, not less'n he's made a laughin'-stalk
+of--which is cruelty to animals, an' shouldn't be allowed.
+
+I know when I went to school up here at Sandy Cri'k, forty year ago, I
+was teached by a certain single lady that has subsequently died a nachel
+death of old age an' virtuous works, an' in them days she wo'e a knitted
+collar, an' long curls both sides of her face; an' I've seen many a
+night, after the candle was out, thet she'd appear befo' me. She'd seem
+to come an' hang over my bed-canopy same ez a chandelier, with them side
+curls all a-jinglin' like cut-glass dangles. It's true, she used mostly
+to appear with a long peach-switch in her hand, but that was nachel
+enough, that bein' the way she most gen'ally approached me in life.
+
+But of co'se I come th'oo without taller. My mother had thirteen of us,
+an' ef she'd started anointin' us for all our little side-curled
+nightmares, she'd 'a' had to go to goose raisin'.
+
+You see, in them days they used goose grease.
+
+I never to say admired that side-curled lady much, though she's made
+some lastin' impressions on me. Why, I could set down now, an' make a
+drawin' of that knitted collar she used to wear, an' it over forty year
+ago. I ricollec' she was cross-eyed, too, in the eye todes the foot o'
+the class, where I'd occasionally set; an', tell the truth, it was the
+strongest reason for study thet I had--thess to get on to the side of
+her certain eye. Th' ain't anything much mo' tantalizin' to a person
+than uncertainty in sech matters.
+
+She was mighty plain, an' yet some o' the boys seemed to see beauty in
+her. I know my brother Bob, he confided to mother once-t thet he thought
+she looked thess precizely like the Queen o' Sheba must'a' looked, an'
+I ricollec' thet he cried bitter because mother told it out on him at
+the dinner-table. It was turrible cruel, but she didn't reelize.
+
+I reckon, ef the truth was known, most of us nine has seen them side
+curls in our sleep. An' nobody but God an' his angels will ever
+know how many of us passed th'oo the valley o' the shadder o' that
+singular-appearin' lady, or how often we notified the other eight of the
+fact, unbeknowinst to his audience, while they was distributed in their
+little trundle-beds.
+
+I sometimes wonder ef they ain't no account took of little child'en's
+trials. Seems to me they ought to be a little heavenly book kep'
+a-purpose; an' 't wouldn't do no harm ef earthly fathers an' mothers
+was occasionally allowed to look over it.
+
+My brother Bob, him thet likened Miss Alviry to the Queen o' Sheba,
+always was a sensitive-minded child, an' we all knowed it, too; and yet,
+we never called him a thing for months after that but Solomon. We ought
+to've been whupped good for it.
+
+Bob ain't never married, an' for a bachelor person of singular habits,
+he's kep' ez warm a heart ez ever I see.
+
+I've often deplo'ed him not marryin'. In fact, sense I see what comfort
+is to be took in a child, why, I deplo' all the singular numbers--though
+the Lord couldn't be expected to have a supply on hand thess like Sonny
+to distribute 'round on demand.
+
+But I doubt ef parents knows the difference.
+
+I've noticed thet when they can't take pleasure in extry smartness in a
+child, why, they make it up in tracin' resemblances. I suppose they's
+parental comfort to be took to in all kinds o' babies. I know I've seen
+some dull-eyed ones thet seemed like ez ef they wasn't nothin' for 'em
+to do _but_ resemble.
+
+But talkin' about Sonny a-fallin' in love with his teachers, why, they
+was a time here when he wanted to give away every thing in the house to
+first one an' then the other. The first we noticed of it was him tellin'
+us how nice Miss Alviry thought his livers and gizzards was. Now,
+everybody knows thet they ain't been a chicken thet has died for our
+nourishment sence Sonny has cut his eye-teeth but has give up its vitals
+to him, an' give 'em willin'ly, they bein' the parts of his choice; an'
+it was discouragin', after killin' a useless number o' chickens to git
+enough to pack his little lunch-bucket, to have her eat 'em up--an' she
+forty year old ef she's a day, an' he not got his growth yet. An' yet, a
+chicken liver is thess one o' them little things thet a person couldn't
+hardly th'ow up to a school-teacher 'thout seemin' small-minded.
+
+I never did make no open objection to him givin' away anything to his
+teachers tell the time he taken a notion to give Miss Phoebe the plush
+album out o' the parlor. We was buyin' it on instalments at twenty-five
+cents a week, and it wasn't fully installed at the time, an' I told him
+it wouldn't never do to give away what wasn't ours.
+
+When it comes to principle, why, I always take a stand. I thought likely
+by the time it was ours in full he'd've recovered from his attackt, an'
+be willin' for his ma to keep it; an' he was.
+
+An' besides, sence his pet squir'l has done chawed the plush clean off
+one corner of it, he says he wouldn't part with it for nothin'. Of co'se
+a beast couldn't be expected to reelize the importance o' plush. An'
+that's what seems to tickle Sonny so.
+
+We had bought it chiefly on his account, so ez to git 'im accustomed to
+seein' handsome things around, so thet when he goes out into the world
+he won't need to be flustered by finery.
+
+Wife she's been layin' by egg money all spring to buy a swingin',
+silver-plated ice-pitcher, so he'll feel at home with sech things, an'
+capable of walkin' up to one an' tiltin' it unconcerned, which is more'n
+I can do _to this day_. I always feel like ez ef I ought to go home an'
+put on my Sunday clo'es befo' I can approach one of 'em.
+
+Sech ez that has to be worked into a person's constitution in youth.
+The motions of a gourd-dipper, kep' in constant practice for years,
+is mighty hard to reverse.
+
+How does that look now, doctor? Yas; I think so, too. It's tied in a
+right good bow for a ten-thumbed man, which I shorely am, come to
+fingerin' ribbin.
+
+He chose blue because she's got blue eyes--pore little human! Sir? _Who
+is she_, you say? Why, don't you know? She's Joe Wallace's little Mary
+Elizabeth--a nice, well-mannered child ez ever lived.
+
+
+[Illustration: "What could be sweeter 'n little Mary Elizabeth?"]
+
+
+Wife has had her over here to supper sev'al nights lately, an' Sonny
+he's took tea over to the Wallaces' once-t or twice-t, an' they say he
+shows mighty good table manners, passin' things polite, an' leavin'
+proper amounts on his plate. His mother has always teached him keerful.
+It's good practice for 'em both. Of co'se Mary Elizabeth she's a year
+older 'n what Sonny is, an' she's thess gittin' a little experience out
+o' him--though she ain't no ways conscious of it,--an' he 'll gain a
+good deal o' courage th'oo keepin' company with a ladylike girl like
+Mary Elizabeth. That's the way it goes, an' I think th' ain't nothin'
+mo' innercent or sweet.
+
+How'd you say that, doctor? S'posin' it wasn't to turn out that-a-way?
+Well, bless yo' heart, ef it was to work out in _all seriousness, what
+could be sweeter 'n little Mary Elizabeth_? Sonny ain't got it in his
+power to displease us, don't keer what he was to take a notion to,
+less'n, of co'se, it was wrong, which it ain't in him to do--not
+knowin'ly.
+
+You know, Sonny has about decided to take a trip north, doctor--to New
+York State. Sir? Oh, no; he ain't goin' to take the co'se o' lectures
+thet Miss Phoebe has urged him to take--'t least, that ain't his
+intention.
+
+No; he sez thet he don't crave to fit his-self to teach. He sez he feels
+like ez ef it would smother him to teach school in a house all day. He
+taken that after me.
+
+No; he's goin a-visitin'. Oh, no, sir; we ain't got no New York kin.
+He's a-goin' all the way to that strange an' distant State to call on a
+man thet he ain't never see, nor any of his family. He's a gentle man by
+the name o' Burroughs--John Burroughs. He's a book-writer. The first
+book thet Sonny set up nights to read was one o' his'n--all about dumb
+creatures an' birds. Sonny acchilly wo'e that book out a-readin' it.
+
+Yas, sir; Sonny says thet ef he could thess take one long stroll th'oo
+the woods with him, he'd be willin' to walk to New York State if
+necessary. An' we're a-goin' to let 'im go. The purtiest part about it
+is thet this here great book-writer has invited him to pay him a visit.
+Think o' that, will you? Think of a man thet could think up a whole row
+o' books a-takin' sech a' int'res' in our plain little Arkansas Sonny.
+But he done it; an' 'mo' 'n that, he remarked in the letter thet it
+would give him great pleasure to meet the boy thet had so many mutual
+friends in common with him, or some sech remark. Of co'se, in this he
+referred to dumb brutes, an' even trees, so Sonny says. Oh, cert'n'y;
+Sonny writ him first. How would he've knew about Sonny? Miss Phoebe she
+encouraged him to write the letter, but it was Sonny's first idee. An'
+the answer, why, he's got it framed an' hung up above his bookshelves
+between our marriage c'tif'cate an' his diplomy.
+
+He's done sent Sonny his picture, too. He's took a-settin' up in a'
+apple-tree. You can tell from a little thing like that thet a person
+ain't no dude, an' I like that. We 've put that picture in the front
+page of the plush album, an' moved the bishop back one page.
+
+Sonny has sent him a photograph of all our family took together, an'
+likely enough he'll have it framed time Sonny arrives there.
+
+When he goes, little Mary Elizabeth, why, she's offered to take keer of
+all his harmless live things till he comes back, an' I s'pose they'll be
+letters a-passin' back and fo'th. It does seem so funny, when I think
+about it. 'Pears like thess the other day thet Mis' Wallace fetched
+little Mary Elizabeth over to look at Sonny, an' he on'y three days old.
+I ricollec' when she seen 'im she took her little one-year-old finger
+an' teched 'im on the forehead, an' she says, says she, "Howdy?"--thess
+that-a-way. I remember we all thought it was so smart. Seemed like ez ef
+she reelized thet he had thess arrived--an' she had thess learned to say
+"Howdy," an' she up an' says it.
+
+An' she's ap' at speech yet, so Sonny says. She don't say much when wife
+or I are around, which I think is showin' only right an' proper
+respec's.
+
+Th' ain't nothin' purtier, to my mind, than for a young girl to set up
+at table with her elders, an' to 'tend strictly to business. Mary
+Elizabeth'll set th'oo a whole meal, an' sca'cely look up from her
+plate. I never did see a little girl do it mo' modest.
+
+Of co'se, Sonny, he bein' at home, an' she bein' his company, why, he
+talks constant, an' she'll glance up at him sort o' sideways occasional.
+Wife an' me, we find it ez much ez we can do, sometimes, to hold in; we
+feel so tickled over their cunnin' little ways together. To see Sonny
+politely take her cup o' tea an' po' it out in her saucer to cool for
+her so nice, why, it takes all the dignity we can put on to cover our
+amusement over it. You see, they've only lately teethed together, them
+child'en.
+
+I reckon the thing sort o' got started last summer. I know he give her a
+flyin' squir'l, an' she embroidered him a hat-band. I suspicioned then
+what was comin', an' I advised wife to make up a few white-bosomed
+shirts for him, an' she didn't git 'em done none too soon. 'Twasn't no
+time befo' he called for 'em.
+
+A while back befo' that I taken notice thet he 'd put a few idees down
+on sheets o' paper for her to write her compositions by. Of co'se, he
+wouldn't _write_ 'em. He's too honest. He'd thess sugges' idees
+promiscu'us.
+
+She's got words, so he says, an' so she'd write out mighty nice
+compositions by his hints. I taken notice thet in this world it's often
+that-a-way; one'll have idees, an' another'll have words. They ain't
+always bestowed together. When they are, why, then, I reckon, them are
+the book-writers. Sonny he's got purty consider'ble o' both for his age,
+but, of co'se, he wouldn't never aspire to put nothin' he could think up
+into no printed book, I don't reckon; though he's got three blank books
+filled with the routine of "out-door housekeeping," ez he calls it, the
+way it's kep' by varmints an' things out o' doors under loose tree-barks
+an' in all sorts of outlandish places. I did only last week find a piece
+o' paper with a po'try verse on it in his hand-write on his little
+table. I suspicioned thet it was his composin', because the name "Mary
+Elizabeth" occurred in two places in it, though, of co'se, they's other
+Mary Elizabeths. He's a goin' to fetch that housekeepin' book up north
+with him, an' my opinion is thet he's a-projec'ing to show it to Mr.
+Burroughs. But likely he won't have the courage.
+
+Yas; take it all together, I'm glad them two child'en has took the
+notion. It'll be a good thing for him whilst he's throwed in with all
+sorts o' travelin' folks goin' an' comin' to reelize thet he's got a
+little sweetheart at home, an' thet she's bein' loved an' cherished by
+his father an' mother du'in' his absence.
+
+Even after they've gone their sep'rate ways, ez they most likely will in
+time, it'll be a pleasure to 'em to look back to the time when they was
+little sweethearts.
+
+I know I had a number, off an' on, when I was a youngster, an' they're
+every one hung up--in my mind, of co'se--in little gilt frames, each one
+to herself. An' sometimes, when I think 'em over, I imagine thet they's
+sweet, bunches of wild vi'lets a-settin' under every one of 'em--all
+'cep'n' one, an' I always seem to see pinks under hers.
+
+An' she's a grandmother now. Funny to think it all over, ain't it?
+At this present time she's a tall, thin ol' lady thet fans with a
+turkey-tail, an' sets up with the sick. But the way she hangs in her
+little frame in my mind, she's a chunky little thing with fat ankles an'
+wrisses, an' her two cheeks they hang out of her pink caliker sunbonnet
+thess like a pair o' ripe plumgranates.
+
+She was the pinkest little sweetheart thet a pink-lovin' school-boy ever
+picked out of a class of thirty-five, I reckon.
+
+Seemed to me everything about her was fat an' chubby, thess like
+herself. Ricollec', one day, she dropped her satchel, an' out rolled the
+fattest little dictionary I ever see, an' when I see it, seem like she
+couldn't nachelly be expected to tote no other kind. I used to take
+pleasure in getherin' a pink out o' mother's garden in the mornin's when
+I'd be startin' to school, an' slippin' it on to her desk when she
+wouldn't be lookin', an' she'd always pin it on her frock when I'd have
+my head turned the other way. Then when she'd ketch my eye, she'd turn
+pinker'n the pink. But she never mentioned one o' them pinks to me in
+her life, nor I to her.
+
+Yas; I always think of her little picture with a bunch o' them
+old-fashioned garden pinks a settin' under it, an' there they'll stay ez
+long ez my old mind is a fitten place for sech sweet-scented pictures to
+hang in.
+
+They've been a pleasure to me all my life, an' I'm glad to see Sonny's
+a-startin' his little picture-gallery a'ready.
+
+
+
+
+WEDDIN' PRESENTS
+
+[Illustration: 'T']
+
+
+That you, doctor? Hitch up, an' come right in.
+
+You say Sonny called by an' ast you to drop in to see me?
+
+But I ain't sick. I'm thess settin'out here on the po'ch, upholstered
+with pillers this-a-way on account o' the spine o' my back feelin' sort
+o' porely. The way I ache--I reckon likely ez not it's a-fixin' to rain.
+Ef I don't seem to him quite ez chirpy I ought to be, why Sonny he gets
+oneasy an' goes for you, an' when I object--not thet I ain't always glad
+to see you, doctor--why, he th'ows up to me thet that's the way we
+always done about him when de was in his first childhood. An' ef you
+ricollec'--why, it's about true. He says he's boss now, an' turn about
+is fair play.
+
+My pulse ain't no ways discordant, is it? No, I thought not. Of co'se,
+ez you say, I s'pose it's sort o' different to a younger person's, an'
+then I've been so worked up lately thet my heart's bound to be more or
+less frustrated, and Sonny says a person's heart reg'lates his pulse.
+
+I reckon I ain't ez strong ez I ought to be, maybe, or I wouldn't cry so
+easy ez what I do. I been settin' here, pretty near boo-hoo-in' for the
+last half-hour, over the weddin' presents Sonny has thess been a-givin'
+me.
+
+Last week it was a daughter, little Mary Elizabeth--an' now it's his
+book.
+
+They was to 've come together. The book was printed and was to 've been
+received here on Sonny's weddin'-day, but it didn't git in on time. But
+I counted it in ez one o' my weddin' presents from Sonny, give to me on
+the occasion of his marriage, thess the same, though I didn't know about
+the inscription thet he's inscribed inside it tell it arrived--an' I'm
+glad I didn't.
+
+Ef I'd 've knew that day, when my heart was already in my win'-pipe,
+thet he had give out to the world by sech a printed declaration ez that
+thet he had to say dedicated all his work in life, _in advance_, to my
+ol' soul, I couldn't no mo' 've kep' up my behavior 'n nothin'.
+
+I'm glad you think I don't need no physic, doctor. I never was no hand
+to swaller medicine when I was young, and the obnoxion seems to grow on
+me ez I git older.
+
+Not all that toddy? You'll have me in a drunkard's grave yet,--you an'
+Sonny together,--ef I don't watch out.
+
+That nutmeg gives it a mighty good flavor, doc'. Ef any thing ever does
+make me intemp'rate, why, it'll be the nutmeg an' sugar thet you all
+smuggle the liquor to me in.
+
+It does make me see clairer, I vow it does, either the nutmeg or the
+sperit, one.
+
+There's Sonny's step, now. I can tell it quick ez he sets it on the back
+steps. Sence I'm sort o' laid up, Sonny gits into the saddle every day
+an' rides over the place an' gives orders for me.
+
+Come out here, son, an' shake hands with the doctor.
+
+Pretty warm, you say it is, son! An' th' ain't nothin' goin' astray on
+the place? Well, that's good. An', doc', here, he says thet his bill for
+this visit is a unwarranted extravagance 'cause they ain't a thing I
+need but to start on the downward way thet leads to ruin. He's got me
+all threatened with the tremens now, so thet I hardly know how to match
+my pronouns to suit their genders an' persons. He's give me fully a
+tablespoonful o' the reverend stuff in one toddy. I tell him he must
+write out a prescription for the gold cure an' leave it with me, so's in
+case he should drop off befo' I need it, I could git it, 'thout applyin'
+to a strange doctor an' disgracin' everybody in America by the name o'
+Jones.
+
+Do you notice how strong he favors _her_ to-day, doctor?
+
+I don't know whether it's the toddy I've took thet calls my attention to
+it or not.
+
+
+[Illustration: "When I set here by myself on this po'ch so much these
+days an' think."]
+
+
+She always seemed to see me in him--but I never could. Far ez I can
+see, he never taken nothin' from me but his sect--an' yo' name, son, of
+co'se. 'Cep'in' for me, you couldn't 'a' been no Jones--'t least not in
+our branch.
+
+Put yo' hand on my forr'd, son, an' bresh it up'ards a few times, while
+I shet my eyes.
+
+Do you know when he does that, doc', I couldn't tell his hand from hers.
+
+He taken his touch after her, exact--an' his hands, too, sech good firm
+fingers, not all plowed out o' shape, like mine. I never seemed to
+reelize it tell she'd passed away.
+
+That'll do now, boy. I know you want to go in an' see where the little
+wife is, an' I've no doubt you'll find her with a wishful look in her
+eyes, wonderin' what keeps you out here so long.
+
+Funny, doctor, how seein' him and little Mary Elizabeth together brings
+back my own youth to me--an' wife's.
+
+From the first day we was married to the day we laid her away under the
+poplars, the first thing I done on enterin' the house was to wonder
+where she was an' go an' find her. An' quick ez I'd git her located,
+why, I'd feel sort o' rested, an' know things was all right.
+
+Heap of his ma's ways I seem to see in Sonny since she's went.
+
+An' what do you think, doc'? He's took to kissin' me nights and mornin's
+since she's passed away, an' I couldn't tell you how it seems to comfort
+me.
+
+Maybe that sounds strange to you in a grown-up man, but it don't come no
+ways strange to me--not from Sonny. Now he's started it, seems like ez
+ef I'd 've missed it if he hadn't.
+
+Ez I look back, they ain't no lovin' way thet a boy could have thet
+ain't seemed to come nachel to him--not a one. An' his little wife, Mary
+Elizabeth, why, they never was a sweeter daughter on earth.
+
+An' ef I do say it ez shouldn't, their weddin' was the purtiest thet has
+ever took place in this county--in my ricollection, which goes back
+distinc' for over sixty year.
+
+Everybody loves little Mary Elizabeth, an' th' aint a man, woman, or
+child in the place but doted on Sonny, even befo' he turned into a
+book-writer. But, of co'se, all the great honors they laid on him--the
+weddin' supper an' dance in the Simpkins's barn, the dec'rations o'
+the church that embraced so many things he's lectured about an' all
+that--why they was all meant to show fo'th how everybody took pride in
+him, ez a author o' printed books.
+
+You see he has give' twelve lectures in the academy each term for the
+last three years, after studyin' them three winters in New York, each
+year's lectures different, but all relatin' to our own forests an' their
+dumb population. That's what he calls 'em. Th' ain't a boy thet has
+attended the academy, sence he's took the nachel history to teach,
+but'll tell you thess what kind o' inhabitants to look for on any
+particular tree. Nearly every boy in the county's got a cabinet--an'
+most of 'em have carpentered 'em theirselves, though I taught 'em how to
+do that after the pattern Sonny got me to make his by--an' you'll find
+all sorts o' specimens of what they designate ez "summer an' winter
+resorts" in pieces of bark an' cobweb an' ol' twisted tree-leaves in
+every one of 'em.
+
+The boys thet dec'rated the barn for the dance say thet they ain't a
+tree Sonny ever lectured about but was represented in the ornaments
+tacked up ag'inst the wall, an' they wasn't a space big ez yo' hand, ez
+you know, doctor, thet wasn't covered with some sort o' evergreen or
+berry-branch, or somethin'.
+
+An' have you heerd what the ol' nigger Proph' says? Of co'se he's all
+unhinged in the top story ez anybody would be thet lived in the woods
+an' e't sca'cely anything but herbs an' berries. But, anyhow, he's got
+a sort o' gift o' prophecy an' insight, ez we all know.
+
+Well, Proph', he sez that while the weddin' march was bein' played in
+the church the night o' Sonny's weddin' thet he couldn't hear his own
+ears for the racket among all the live things in the woods. An' he says
+thet they wasn't a frog, or a cricket, or katydid, or nothin', but up
+an' played on its little instrument, an' thet every note they sounded
+fitted into the church music--even to the mockin'-bird an' the
+screech-owl.
+
+Of co'se, I don't say it's so, but the ol' nigger swears to it, an' ef
+you dispute it with him an' ask him how it come thet nobody else didn't
+hear it, why he says that's because them thet live in houses an' eat
+flesh ain't got the love o' Grod in their hearts, an' can't expect to
+hear the songs of the songless an' speech of the speechless.
+
+That's a toler'ble high-falutin figgur o' speech for a nigger, but it's
+thess the way he expresses it.
+
+You know he's been seen holdin' conversation with dumb brutes, more 'n
+once-t--in broad daylight.
+
+Of co'se, we can't be shore thet they was rejoicin' expressed in the
+underbrush an' the forests, ez he says, but I do say, ez I said before,
+thet Sonny an' the little girl has had the purtiest an' joyfulest
+weddin' I ever see in this county, an' a good time was had by everybody
+present. An' it has made me mighty happy--it an' its results.
+
+They say a son is a son till he gets him a wife, but 't ain't so in this
+case, shore. I've gained thess ez sweet a daughter ez I could 'a' picked
+out ef I'd 'a' had the whole world to select from.
+
+Little Mary Elizabeth has been mighty dear to our hearts for a long
+time, an' when wife passed away, although the weddin' hadn't took place
+yet, she bestowed a mother's partin' blessin' on her, an' give Sonny a
+lot o' private advice about her disposition, an' how he ought to
+reg'late hisself to deal with it.
+
+You see, Mary Elizabeth stayed along with us so much durin' the seasons
+he was away in New York, thet we got to know all her crotchets an'
+quavers, an' she ain't got a mean one, neither.
+
+But _they're there_. An' they have to be dealt with, lovin'. Fact is,
+th' ain't no other proper way to deal with nothin', in my opinion.
+
+We was ruther glad to find out some little twists in her disposition,
+wife an' me was, 'cause ef we hadn't discovered none, why we'd 'a' felt
+shore she had some in'ard deceit or somethin'. No person can't be
+perfec', an' when I see people always outwardly serene, I mistrust their
+insides.
+
+But little Mary Elizabeth, why, she ain't none too angelic to git a good
+healthy spell o' the pouts once-t in a while, but ef she's handled kind
+an' tender, why, she'll come thoo without havin' to humble herself with
+apologies.
+
+It depends largely upon how a pout is took, whether it'll contrac'
+itself into a hard knot an' give trouble or thess loosen up into a
+good-natured smile, an' the oftener they are let out that-a-way, the
+seldomer they'll come.
+
+Little Mary Elizabeth, why, she looks so purty when she pouts, now, that
+I've been tempted sometimes to pervoke her to it, thess to witness the
+new set o' dimples she'll turn out on short notice; but I ain't never
+done it. I know a dimple thet's called into bein' too often in youth is
+li'ble to lay the foundation of a wrinkle in old age.
+
+But takin' her right along stiddy, day in an' day out, she's got a good
+sunny disposition an' is mighty lovin' and kind.
+
+An' as to character and dependableness, why, she's thess ez sound ez
+a bell.
+
+In a heap o' ways she nears up to us, sech, f' instance, ez when she
+taken wife's cook-receipt book to go by in experimentin' with Sonny's
+likes an' dislikes. 'T ain't every new-married wife thet's willin' to
+sample her husband's tastes by his ma's cook-books.
+
+They seem to think they 're too dictatorial.
+
+But, of co'se, wife's receipts was better 'n most, an' Mary Elizabeth,
+she knows that.
+
+She ain't been married but a week, but she's served up sev'al self-made
+dishes a'ready--all constructed accordin' to wife's schedule.
+
+Of co'se I could see the diff'ence in the mixin'--but it only amused me.
+An' Sonny seemed to think thet, ef anything, they was better 'n they
+ever had been--which is only right and proper.
+
+Three days after she was married, the po' little thing whipped up a
+b'iled custard for dinner an', some way or other, she put salt in it
+'stid o' sugar, and poor Sonny--Well, I never have knew him to lie
+outright, befo', but he smacked his lips over it an' said it was the
+most delicious custard he had ever e't in his life, an' then, when he
+had done finished his first saucer an' said, "No, thank you, I won't
+choose any more," to a second helpin', why, she tasted it an' thess bust
+out a-cryin'.
+
+But I reckon that was partly because she was sort o' on edge yet from
+the excitement of new housekeepin' and the head o' the table.
+
+Well, I felt mighty sorry to see her in tears, an' what does Sonny do
+but insist on eatin' the whole dish o' custard, an' soon ez I could git
+a chance, I took him aside an' give him a little dose-t o' pain-killer,
+an' I took a few drops myself.
+
+I had felt obligated to swaller a few spoonfuls o' the salted custard
+when she'd be lookin' my way, an' I felt like ez ef I was pizened, an'
+so I thess took the painkiller ez a sort o' anecdote.
+
+Another way Mary Elizabeth shows sense is the way she accepts
+discipline from the ol' nigger, Dicey.
+
+She's mighty old an' strenuous now, Dicey is, an' she thinks because she
+was present at Sonny's birth an' before it, thet she's privileged to
+correct him for anything he does, and we've always indulged her in it,
+an' thess ez soon as she knowed what was brewin' 'twix' him an' Mary
+Elizabeth, why, she took her into the same custody, an' it's too cute
+for anything the way the little girl takes a scoldin' from her--thess
+winkin' at Sonny an' me while she receives it.
+
+An' the ol' nigger'd lay down her life for her most ez quick ez she
+would for Sonny.
+
+She was the first to open our eyes to the state of affairs 'twixt the
+two child'en, that ol' nigger was. It was the first year Sonny went
+North. He had writ home to his ma from New York State, and said thet Mr.
+Burroughs had looked over his little writings an' said they was good
+enough to be printed an' bound up in a book.
+
+Wife, she read the letter out loud, ez she always done, an' we noticed
+thet when we come to that, Mary Elizabeth slipped out o' the room; but
+we didn't think nothin' of it tell direc'ly ol' Dicey, she come in
+tickled all but to death to tell us thet the little girl was out on the
+po'ch with her face hid in the honeysuckle vines, cryin' thess ez hard
+as we was. So then, of co'se, we knowed that ef the co'se of true love
+could be allowed to run smooth for once-t, she was fo'-ordained to be
+our little blessin'--an' his--that is, so far as she was concerned.
+
+Of co'se we was even a little tenderer todes her, after that, than we
+had been befo'.
+
+That was over five year ago, an' th' ain't been a day sca'cely sence
+then but we've seen her, an' in my jedgment they won't be nothin'
+lackin' in her thet's needful in a little wife--not a thing.
+
+Ef they's anything in long acquaintance, they've certainly knowed one
+another all the time they've had.
+
+Of co'se Mary Elizabeth, she ain't to say got Sonny's thoughts, exac'ly,
+where it comes to sech a thing ez book-writin', but he says she's a heap
+better educated 'n what he is.
+
+She's got all her tuition repo'ts du'in' the whole time she attended
+school, an' mostly all her precentages was up close onto the hund'eds.
+
+Sonny never was no hand on earth to git good reports at school.
+
+They was always so low down in figgurs thet he calls 'em his "misconduc'
+slips."
+
+But they ain't a one he's ever got, takin' 'em from the beginnin' clean
+up to the day o' his gradjuatin', thet ain't got some lovin' remark
+inscribed acrost it from his teacher--not a one.
+
+Even them that wrastled with him most severe has writ him down friendly
+an' kind.
+
+An' little Mary Elizabeth--why, she's took every last one of 'em an'
+she's feather-stitched 'em aroun' the edges an' sewed 'em up into a sort
+o' little book, an' tied a ribbin' bow acrost it. I don't know whether
+she done it on account o' the teacher's remarks or not--but she cert'n'y
+does prize that pamphlet.
+
+She thinks so much of it thet I been advisin' her to take out a fire
+insu'ance on it.
+
+In a heap o' ways she thess perzacly suits Sonny. Lookin' at it from one
+p'int o' view, she's a sort o' dictionary to him.
+
+Whenever Sonny finds hisself short of a date, f' instance, or some
+unreasonable spellin' 'll bother 'im, why, he'll apply to her for it an'
+she'll hand it out to him, intac'. I ain't never knew her to fail.
+
+You see, while Sonny's thoughts is purty far-reachin' in some ways, he's
+received his education so sort o' hit an' miss thet the things he knows
+ain't to say catalogued in his mind, an' while he'll know one fac',
+maybe he won't be able to recall another thet seems to belong hand in
+hand with it. An' that's one reason why I say thet little Mary Elizabeth
+is thess the wife for him.
+
+She may not bother about the whys an' wherefores, but she's got the
+statistics.
+
+It's always well, in a married couple, to have either one or the other
+statistical, so thet any needed fac' can be had on demand.
+
+Wife, she was a heap more gifted that-a-way 'n what I was, but of co'se
+hers wasn't so much book statistics.
+
+She could give the name an' age of every cow an' calf on the farm, an'
+relate any circumstance thet has took place within her recollection or
+mine without the loss of a single date or any gain through imagination,
+either.
+
+I don't know but I think that's a greater gif' than the other, to be
+able to reproduce a event after a long time without sort o' thess
+techin' it up with a little exaggeration.
+
+Th' ain't no finer trait, in my opinion, _in man or woman_, than
+dependableness, an' that's another reason I take sech special delight in
+the little daughter, Mary Elizabeth.
+
+If she tells you a thing's black, why you may know it don't lean todes
+brown or gray. It's thess a dismal black.
+
+She may hate to say it, an' show her hatred in a dozen lovin', regretful
+ways, but out it'll come.
+
+An' I think thet any man thet can count on a devoted wife for
+_exactitude_ is blessed beyond common.
+
+So many exac' women is col'-breasted an' severe. An' ef I had to take
+one or the other, why, I'd let my wife prevaricate a little, ef need
+be, befo' I'd relinquish warmheartedness, an' the power to command
+peacefulness an' rest, an' make things comfortable an' homely, day in
+an' day out.
+
+Maybe I'm unprincipled in that, but life is so short, an' ef we didn't
+have lovin' ways to lengthen out our days, why I don't think I'd keer to
+bother with it, less'n, of co'se, I might be needful to somebody else.
+
+Yas, doc', I 'm mighty happy in the little daughter--an' the book--an'
+the blessed boy hisself. Maybe I'm too talkative on the subject, but the
+way I feel about him, I might discuss him forever, an' then they'd be
+thess a little sweetness left over thet I couldn't put into words about
+him.
+
+Not thet he's faultless. I don't suppose they ever was a boy on earth
+thet had mo' faults 'n Sonny, but they ain't one he's got thet I don't
+seem to cherish because I know it's rooted in honest soil.
+
+You may strike a weed now an' ag'in, but he don't grow no pizen vines in
+his little wilderness o' short-comin's. Th' ain't no nettles in his
+garden o' faults. That ain't a bad figgur o' speech for a ol' man like
+me, is it, doctor?
+
+But nex' time he stops an' tells you I'm sick, you thess tell him to go
+about his business.
+
+I'm failin' in stren'th ez the days go--an' I know it--an' it's all
+right.
+
+I don't ask no mo' 'n thess to pass on whenever the good Lord wills.
+
+But of co'se I ain't in no hurry, an' they's one joy I'd like to feel
+befo' that time comes.
+
+I'd love to hol' Sonny's baby in my ol' arms--his an' hers--an' to see
+thet the good ol' name o' Jones has had safe transportation into one mo'
+generation of honest folks.
+
+Sonny an' Mary Elizabeth are too sweet-hearted an' true not to be
+reproduced in detail, an' passed along.
+
+This here ol' oak tree thet gran'pa planted when I was a kid, why, it'd
+be a fine shady place for healthy girls an' boys to play under.
+
+
+[Illustration: "Seem like a person don't no mo' 'n realize he's a
+descendant befo' he's a' ancestor."]
+
+
+When I set here by myself on this po'ch so much these days an'
+think,--an' remember,--why I thess wonder over the passage o' time.
+
+I ricollec' thess ez well when gran'pa planted that oak saplin'. My pa
+he helt it stiddy an' I handed gran'pa the spade, an' we took off our
+hats whilst he repeated a Bible tex'.
+
+Yes, that ol' oak was religiously planted, an' we've tried not to offend
+its first principles in no ways du'in' the years we've nurtured it.
+
+An' when I set here an' look at it, an' consider its propensities,--it's
+got five limbs that seem thess constructed to hold swings,--maybe it's
+'cause I was raised Presbyterian an' sort o' can't git shet o' the
+doctrine o' predestination, but I can't help seemin' to fo'-see them
+friendly family limbs all fulfillin' their promises.
+
+An' when I imagine myself a-settin' there with one little one a-climbin'
+over me while the rest swings away, why, seem like a person don't no mo'
+'n realize he's a descendant befo' he's a' ancestor.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Sonny, A Christmas Guest, by Ruth McEnery Stuart
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11084 ***