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@@ -0,0 +1,7625 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Hero of Our Time, by M. Y. Lermontov + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Hero of Our Time + +Author: M. Y. Lermontov + +Posting Date: July 21, 2008 [EBook #913] +Release Date: May, 1997 +Last updated: February 15, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A HERO OF OUR TIME *** + + + + +Produced by Judith Boss + + + + + +A HERO OF OUR TIME + +By J. H. Wisdom & Marr Murray + +Translated From The Russian Of M. Y. Lermontov + + + + + +FOREWORD + +THIS novel, known as one of the masterpieces of Russian Literature, +under the title "A Hero of our Time," and already translated into at +least nine European languages, is now for the first time placed before +the general English Reader. + +The work is of exceptional interest to the student of English +Literature, written as it was under the profound influence of Byron and +being itself a study of the Byronic type of character. + +The Translators have taken especial care to preserve both the atmosphere +of the story and the poetic beauty with which the Poet-novelist imbued +his pages. + + + +CONTENTS + + +FOREWORD + +BOOK I. BELA + +BOOK II. MAKSIM MAKSIMYCH + +FOREWORD TO EXTRACTS FROM PECHORIN'S DIARY + +BOOK III. TAMAN + +BOOK IV. THE FATALIST + +BOOK V. PRINCESS MARY + +APPENDIX. THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION + + + + + +BOOK I BELA + +THE HEART OF A RUSSIAN + + + + +CHAPTER I + +I was travelling post from Tiflis. + +All the luggage I had in my cart consisted of one small portmanteau half +filled with travelling-notes on Georgia; of these the greater part has +been lost, fortunately for you; but the portmanteau itself and the rest +of its contents have remained intact, fortunately for me. + +As I entered the Koishaur Valley the sun was disappearing behind the +snow-clad ridge of the mountains. In order to accomplish the ascent of +Mount Koishaur by nightfall, my driver, an Ossete, urged on the horses +indefatigably, singing zealously the while at the top of his voice. + +What a glorious place that valley is! On every hand are inaccessible +mountains, steep, yellow slopes scored by water-channels, and reddish +rocks draped with green ivy and crowned with clusters of plane-trees. +Yonder, at an immense height, is the golden fringe of the snow. Down +below rolls the River Aragva, which, after bursting noisily forth from +the dark and misty depths of the gorge, with an unnamed stream clasped +in its embrace, stretches out like a thread of silver, its waters +glistening like a snake with flashing scales. + +Arrived at the foot of Mount Koishaur, we stopped at a dukhan. [1] About +a score of Georgians and mountaineers were gathered there in a noisy +crowd, and, close by, a caravan of camels had halted for the night. I +was obliged to hire oxen to drag my cart up that accursed mountain, as +it was now autumn and the roads were slippery with ice. Besides, the +mountain is about two versts [2] in length. + +There was no help for it, so I hired six oxen and a few Ossetes. One of +the latter shouldered my portmanteau, and the rest, shouting almost with +one voice, proceeded to help the oxen. + +Following mine there came another cart, which I was surprised to see +four oxen pulling with the greatest ease, notwithstanding that it +was loaded to the top. Behind it walked the owner, smoking a little, +silver-mounted Kabardian pipe. He was wearing a shaggy Circassian cap +and an officer's overcoat without epaulettes, and he seemed to be about +fifty years of age. The swarthiness of his complexion showed that +his face had long been acquainted with Transcaucasian suns, and the +premature greyness of his moustache was out of keeping with his firm +gait and robust appearance. I went up to him and saluted. He silently +returned my greeting and emitted an immense cloud of smoke. + +"We are fellow-travellers, it appears." + +Again he bowed silently. + +"I suppose you are going to Stavropol?" + +"Yes, sir, exactly--with Government things." + +"Can you tell me how it is that that heavily-laden cart of yours is +being drawn without any difficulty by four oxen, whilst six cattle +are scarcely able to move mine, empty though it is, and with all those +Ossetes helping?" + +He smiled slyly and threw me a meaning glance. + +"You have not been in the Caucasus long, I should say?" + +"About a year," I answered. + +He smiled a second time. + +"Well?" + +"Just so, sir," he answered. "They're terrible beasts, these Asiatics! +You think that all that shouting means that they are helping the oxen? +Why, the devil alone can make out what it is they do shout. The oxen +understand, though; and if you were to yoke as many as twenty they still +wouldn't budge so long as the Ossetes shouted in that way of theirs.... +Awful scoundrels! But what can you make of them? They love extorting +money from people who happen to be travelling through here. The rogues +have been spoiled! You wait and see: they will get a tip out of you as +well as their hire. I know them of old, they can't get round me!" + +"You have been serving here a long time?" + +"Yes, I was here under Aleksei Petrovich," [3] he answered, assuming an +air of dignity. "I was a sub-lieutenant when he came to the Line; and +I was promoted twice, during his command, on account of actions against +the mountaineers." + +"And now--?" + + +"Now I'm in the third battalion of the Line. And you yourself?" + +I told him. + +With this the conversation ended, and we continued to walk in silence, +side by side. On the summit of the mountain we found snow. The sun set, +and--as usually is the case in the south--night followed upon the day +without any interval of twilight. Thanks, however, to the sheen of the +snow, we were able easily to distinguish the road, which still went +up the mountain-side, though not so steeply as before. I ordered the +Ossetes to put my portmanteau into the cart, and to replace the oxen +by horses. Then for the last time I gazed down upon the valley; but +the thick mist which had gushed in billows from the gorges veiled it +completely, and not a single sound now floated up to our ears from +below. The Ossetes surrounded me clamorously and demanded tips; but the +staff-captain shouted so menacingly at them that they dispersed in a +moment. + +"What a people they are!" he said. "They don't even know the Russian for +'bread,' but they have mastered the phrase 'Officer, give us a tip!' +In my opinion, the very Tartars are better, they are no drunkards, +anyhow."... + +We were now within a verst or so of the Station. Around us all was +still, so still, indeed, that it was possible to follow the flight of a +gnat by the buzzing of its wings. On our left loomed the gorge, deep and +black. Behind it and in front of us rose the dark-blue summits of the +mountains, all trenched with furrows and covered with layers of snow, +and standing out against the pale horizon, which still retained the last +reflections of the evening glow. The stars twinkled out in the dark sky, +and in some strange way it seemed to me that they were much higher than +in our own north country. On both sides of the road bare, black rocks +jutted out; here and there shrubs peeped forth from under the snow; but +not a single withered leaf stirred, and amid that dead sleep of nature +it was cheering to hear the snorting of the three tired post-horses and +the irregular tinkling of the Russian bell. [4] + +"We will have glorious weather to-morrow," I said. + +The staff-captain answered not a word, but pointed with his finger to a +lofty mountain which rose directly opposite us. + +"What is it?" I asked. + +"Mount Gut." + +"Well, what then?" + +"Don't you see how it is smoking?" + +True enough, smoke was rising from Mount Gut. Over its sides gentle +cloud-currents were creeping, and on the summit rested one cloud of such +dense blackness that it appeared like a blot upon the dark sky. + +By this time we were able to make out the Post Station and the roofs of +the huts surrounding it; the welcoming lights were twinkling before us, +when suddenly a damp and chilly wind arose, the gorge rumbled, and a +drizzling rain fell. I had scarcely time to throw my felt cloak round +me when down came the snow. I looked at the staff-captain with profound +respect. + +"We shall have to pass the night here," he said, vexation in his tone. +"There's no crossing the mountains in such a blizzard.--I say, have +there been any avalanches on Mount Krestov?" he inquired of the driver. + +"No, sir," the Ossete answered; "but there are a great many threatening +to fall--a great many." + +Owing to the lack of a travellers' room in the Station, we were assigned +a night's lodging in a smoky hut. I invited my fellow-traveller to drink +a tumbler of tea with me, as I had brought my cast-iron teapot--my only +solace during my travels in the Caucasus. + +One side of the hut was stuck against the cliff, and three wet and +slippery steps led up to the door. I groped my way in and stumbled up +against a cow (with these people the cow-house supplies the place of a +servant's room). I did not know which way to turn--sheep were bleating +on the one hand and a dog growling on the other. Fortunately, however, +I perceived on one side a faint glimmer of light, and by its aid I was +able to find another opening by way of a door. And here a by no means +uninteresting picture was revealed. The wide hut, the roof of which +rested on two smoke-grimed pillars, was full of people. In the centre of +the floor a small fire was crackling, and the smoke, driven back by the +wind from an opening in the roof, was spreading around in so thick a +shroud that for a long time I was unable to see about me. Seated by the +fire were two old women, a number of children and a lank Georgian--all +of them in tatters. There was no help for it! We took refuge by the fire +and lighted our pipes; and soon the teapot was singing invitingly. + +"Wretched people, these!" I said to the staff-captain, indicating our +dirty hosts, who were silently gazing at us in a kind of torpor. + +"And an utterly stupid people too!" he replied. "Would you believe +it, they are absolutely ignorant and incapable of the slightest +civilisation! Why even our Kabardians or Chechenes, robbers and +ragamuffins though they be, are regular dare-devils for all that. +Whereas these others have no liking for arms, and you'll never see a +decent dagger on one of them! Ossetes all over!" + +"You have been a long time in the Chechenes' country?" + +"Yes, I was quartered there for about ten years along with my company in +a fortress, near Kamennyi Brod. [5] Do you know the place?" + +"I have heard the name." + +"I can tell you, my boy, we had quite enough of those dare-devil +Chechenes. At the present time, thank goodness, things are quieter; but +in the old days you had only to put a hundred paces between you and the +rampart and wherever you went you would be sure to find a shaggy devil +lurking in wait for you. You had just to let your thoughts wander and at +any moment a lasso would be round your neck or a bullet in the back of +your head! Brave fellows, though!"... + +"You used to have many an adventure, I dare say?" I said, spurred by +curiosity. + +"Of course! Many a one."... + +Hereupon he began to tug at his left moustache, let his head sink on +to his breast, and became lost in thought. I had a very great mind to +extract some little anecdote out of him--a desire natural to all who +travel and make notes. + +Meanwhile, tea was ready. I took two travelling-tumblers out of my +portmanteau, and, filling one of them, set it before the staff-captain. +He sipped his tea and said, as if speaking to himself, "Yes, many a +one!" This exclamation gave me great hopes. Your old Caucasian officer +loves, I know, to talk and yarn a bit; he so rarely succeeds in getting +a chance to do so. It may be his fate to be quartered five years or so +with his company in some out-of-the-way place, and during the whole +of that time he will not hear "good morning" from a soul (because the +sergeant says "good health"). And, indeed, he would have good cause +to wax loquacious--with a wild and interesting people all around him, +danger to be faced every day, and many a marvellous incident happening. +It is in circumstances like this that we involuntarily complain that so +few of our countrymen take notes. + +"Would you care to put some rum in your tea?" I said to my companion. "I +have some white rum with me--from Tiflis; and the weather is cold now." + +"No, thank you, sir; I don't drink." + +"Really?" + +"Just so. I have sworn off drinking. Once, you know, when I was a +sub-lieutenant, some of us had a drop too much. That very night there +was an alarm, and out we went to the front, half seas over! We did catch +it, I can tell you, when Aleksei Petrovich came to hear about us! +Heaven save us, what a rage he was in! He was within an ace of having us +court-martialled. That's just how things happen! You might easily spend +a whole year without seeing a soul; but just go and have a drop and +you're a lost man!" + +On hearing this I almost lost hope. + +"Take the Circassians, now," he continued; "once let them drink their +fill of buza [6] at a wedding or a funeral, and out will come their +knives. On one occasion I had some difficulty in getting away with a +whole skin, and yet it was at the house of a 'friendly' [7] prince, +where I was a guest, that the affair happened." + +"How was that?" I asked. + +"Here, I'll tell you."... + +He filled his pipe, drew in the smoke, and began his story. + + + +CHAPTER II + + +"YOU see, sir," said the staff-captain, "I was quartered, at the time, +with a company in a fortress beyond the Terek--getting on for five years +ago now. One autumn day, a transport arrived with provisions, in charge +of an officer, a young man of about twenty-five. He reported himself to +me in full uniform, and announced that he had been ordered to remain in +the fortress with me. He was so very elegant, his complexion so nice and +white, his uniform so brand new, that I immediately guessed that he had +not been long with our army in the Caucasus. + +"'I suppose you have been transferred from Russia?' I asked. + +"'Exactly, captain,' he answered. + +"I took him by the hand and said: + +"'I'm delighted to see you--delighted! It will be a bit dull for you... +but there, we will live together like a couple of friends. But, please, +call me simply "Maksim Maksimych"; and, tell me, what is this full +uniform for? Just wear your forage-cap whenever you come to me!' + +"Quarters were assigned to him and he settled down in the fortress." + +"What was his name?" I asked Maksim Maksimych. + +"His name was Grigori Aleksandrovich Pechorin. He was a splendid fellow, +I can assure you, but a little peculiar. Why, to give you an instance, +one time he would stay out hunting the whole day, in the rain and cold; +the others would all be frozen through and tired out, but he wouldn't +mind either cold or fatigue. Then, another time, he would be sitting in +his own room, and, if there was a breath of wind, he would declare that +he had caught cold; if the shutters rattled against the window he +would start and turn pale: yet I myself have seen him attack a boar +single-handed. Often enough you couldn't drag a word out of him for +hours together; but then, on the other hand, sometimes, when he started +telling stories, you would split your sides with laughing. Yes, sir, +a very eccentric man; and he must have been wealthy too. What a lot of +expensive trinkets he had!"... + +"Did he stay there long with you?" I went on to ask. + +"Yes, about a year. And, for that very reason, it was a memorable year +to me. He gave me a great deal of trouble--but there, let bygones be +bygones!... You see, it is true enough, there are people like that, +fated from birth to have all sorts of strange things happening to them!" + +"Strange?" I exclaimed, with an air of curiosity, as I poured out some +tea. + + + +CHAPTER III + + +"WELL, then, I'll tell you," said Maksim Maksimych. "About six versts +from the fortress there lived a certain 'friendly' prince. His son, a +brat of about fifteen, was accustomed to ride over to visit us. Not a +day passed but he would come, now for one thing, now for another. And, +indeed, Grigori Aleksandrovich and I spoiled him. What a dare-devil the +boy was! Up to anything, picking up a cap at full gallop, or bringing +things down with his gun! He had one bad quality; he was terribly +greedy for money. Once, for the fun of the thing, Grigori Aleksandrovich +promised to give him a ducat if he would steal the best he-goat from his +father's herd for him; and, what do you think? The very next night he +came lugging it in by the horns! At times we used to take it into our +heads to tease him, and then his eyes would become bloodshot and his +hand would fly to his dagger immediately. + +"'You'll be losing your life if you are not careful, Azamat,' I would +say to him. 'That hot head of yours will get you into trouble.' + +"On one occasion, the old prince himself came to invite us to the +wedding of his eldest daughter; and, as we were guest-friends with him, +it was impossible to decline, Tartar though he was. We set off. In the +village we were met by a number of dogs, all barking loudly. The women, +when they saw us coming, hid themselves, but those whose faces we were +able to get a view of were far from being beauties. + +"'I had a much better opinion of the Circassian women,' remarked Grigori +Aleksandrovich. + +"'Wait a bit!' I answered, with a smile; I had my own views on the +subject. + +"A number of people had already gathered at the prince's hut. It is the +custom of the Asiatics, you know, to invite all and sundry to a +wedding. We were received with every mark of honour and conducted to the +guest-chamber. All the same, I did not forget quietly to mark where our +horses were put, in case anything unforeseen should happen." + +"How are weddings celebrated amongst them?" I asked the staff-captain. + +"Oh, in the usual way. First of all, the Mullah reads them something +out of the Koran; then gifts are bestowed upon the young couple and all +their relations; the next thing is eating and drinking of buza, then the +dance on horseback; and there is always some ragamuffin, bedaubed with +grease, bestriding a wretched, lame jade, and grimacing, buffooning, and +making the worshipful company laugh. Finally, when darkness falls, they +proceed to hold what we should call a ball in the guest-chamber. A poor, +old greybeard strums on a three-stringed instrument--I forget what they +call it, but anyhow, it is something in the nature of our balalaika. [8] +The girls and young children set themselves in two ranks, one opposite +the other, and clap their hands and sing. Then a girl and a man come out +into the centre and begin to chant verses to each other--whatever comes +into their heads--and the rest join in as a chorus. Pechorin and I +sat in the place of honour. All at once up came our host's youngest +daughter, a girl of about sixteen, and chanted to Pechorin--how shall I +put it?--something in the nature of a compliment."... + +"What was it she sang--do you remember?" + +"It went like this, I fancy: 'Handsome, they say, are our young +horsemen, and the tunics they wear are garnished with silver; but +handsomer still is the young Russian officer, and the lace on his tunic +is wrought of gold. Like a poplar amongst them he stands, but in gardens +of ours such trees will grow not nor bloom!' + +"Pechorin rose, bowed to her, put his hand to his forehead and heart, +and asked me to answer her. I know their language well, and I translated +his reply. + +"When she had left us I whispered to Grigori Aleksandrovich: + +"'Well, now, what do you think of her?' + +"'Charming!' he replied. 'What is her name?' + +"'Her name is Bela,' I answered. + +"And a beautiful girl she was indeed; her figure was tall and slender, +her eyes black as those of a mountain chamois, and they fairly looked +into your soul. Pechorin, deep in thought, kept his gaze fixed upon her, +and she, for her part, stole glances at him often enough from under her +lashes. Pechorin, however, was not the only one who was admiring the +pretty princess; another pair of eyes, fixed and fiery, were gazing at +her from the corner of the room. I took a good look at their owner, and +recognised my old acquaintance Kazbich, who, you must know, was neither +exactly 'friendly' nor yet the other thing. He was an object of much +suspicion, although he had never actually been caught at any knavery. He +used to bring rams to our fortress and sell them cheaply; only he never +would haggle; whatever he demanded at first you had to give. He +would have his throat cut rather than come down in price. He had the +reputation of being fond of roaming on the far side of the Kuban with +the Abreks; and, to tell the truth, he had a regular thief's visage. A +little, wizened, broad-shouldered fellow he was--but smart, I can tell +you, smart as the very devil! His tunic was always worn out and +patched, but his weapons were mounted in silver. His horse was renowned +throughout Kabardia--and, indeed, a better one it would be impossible +to imagine! Not without good reason did all the other horsemen envy +Kazbich, and on more than one occasion they had attempted to steal the +horse, but they had never succeeded. I seem to see the animal before +me now--black as coal, with legs like bow-strings and eyes as fine as +Bela's! How strong he was too! He would gallop as much as fifty versts +at a stretch! And he was well trained besides--he would trot behind his +master like a dog, and actually knew his voice! Kazbich never used to +tether him either--just the very horse for a robber!... + +"On that evening Kazbich was more sullen than ever, and I noticed that +he was wearing a coat of mail under his tunic. 'He hasn't got that coat +of mail on for nothing,' I thought. 'He has some plot in his head, I'll +be bound!' + +"It grew oppressively hot in the hut, and I went out into the air +to cool myself. Night had fallen upon the mountains, and a mist was +beginning to creep along the gorges. + +"It occurred to me to pop in under the shed where our horses were +standing, to see whether they had their fodder; and, besides, it is +never any harm to take precautions. My horse was a splendid one too, and +more than one Kabardian had already cast fond glances at it, repeating +at the same time: 'Yakshi tkhe chok yakshi.' [9] + +"I stole along the fence. Suddenly I heard voices, one of which I +immediately recognised. + +"It was that of the young pickle, Azamat, our host's son. The other +person spoke less and in a quieter tone. + +"'What are they discussing there?' I wondered. 'Surely it can't be +my horse!' I squatted down beside the fence and proceeded to play the +eavesdropper, trying not to let slip a single word. At times the noise +of songs and the buzz of voices, escaping from the hut, drowned the +conversation which I was finding interesting. + +"'That's a splendid horse of yours,' Azamat was saying. 'If I were +master of a house of my own and had a stud of three hundred mares, I +would give half of it for your galloper, Kazbich!' + +"'Aha! Kazbich!' I said to myself, and I called to mind the coat of +mail. + +"'Yes,' replied Kazbich, after an interval of silence. 'There is not +such another to be found in all Kabardia. Once--it was on the other side +of the Terek--I had ridden with the Abreks to seize the Russian herds. +We had no luck, so we scattered in different directions. Four Cossacks +dashed after me. I could actually hear the cries of the giaours behind +me, and in front of me there was a dense forest. I crouched down in the +saddle, committed myself to Allah, and, for the first time in my life, +insulted my horse with a blow of the whip. Like a bird, he plunged among +the branches; the sharp thorns tore my clothing, the dead boughs of the +cork-elms struck against my face! My horse leaped over tree-trunks and +burst his way through bushes with his chest! It would have been +better for me to have abandoned him at the outskirts of the forest and +concealed myself in it afoot, but it was a pity to part with him--and +the Prophet rewarded me. A few bullets whistled over my head. I could +now hear the Cossacks, who had dismounted, running upon my tracks. +Suddenly a deep gully opened before me. My galloper took thought--and +leaped. His hind hoofs slipped back off the opposite bank, and he +remained hanging by his fore-feet. I dropped the bridle and threw myself +into the hollow, thereby saving my horse, which jumped out. The Cossacks +saw the whole scene, only not one of them got down to search for me, +thinking probably that I had mortally injured myself; and I heard them +rushing to catch my horse. My heart bled within me. I crept along the +hollow through the thick grass--then I looked around: it was the end of +the forest. A few Cossacks were riding out from it on to the clearing, +and there was my Karagyoz [10] galloping straight towards them. With a +shout they all dashed forward. For a long, long time they pursued him, +and one of them, in particular, was once or twice almost successful in +throwing a lasso over his neck. + +"I trembled, dropped my eyes, and began to pray. After a few moments +I looked up again, and there was my Karagyoz flying along, his tail +waving--free as the wind; and the giaours, on their jaded horses, were +trailing along far behind, one after another, across the steppe. +Wallah! It is true--really true! Till late at night I lay in the hollow. +Suddenly--what do you think, Azamat? I heard in the darkness a horse +trotting along the bank of the hollow, snorting, neighing, and beating +the ground with his hoofs. I recognised my Karagyoz's voice; 'twas he, +my comrade!"... Since that time we have never been parted!' + +"And I could hear him patting his galloper's sleek neck with his hand, +as he called him various fond names. + +"'If I had a stud of a thousand mares,' said Azamat, 'I would give it +all for your Karagyoz!' + +"'Yok! [11] I would not take it!' said Kazbich indifferently. + +"'Listen, Kazbich,' said Azamat, trying to ingratiate himself with him. +'You are a kindhearted man, you are a brave horseman, but my father is +afraid of the Russians and will not allow me to go on the mountains. +Give me your horse, and I will do anything you wish. I will steal my +father's best rifle for you, or his sabre--just as you like--and his +sabre is a genuine Gurda; [12] you have only to lay the edge against +your hand, and it will cut you; a coat of mail like yours is nothing +against it.' + +"Kazbich remained silent. + +"'The first time I saw your horse,' continued Azamat, 'when he was +wheeling and leaping under you, his nostrils distended, and the flints +flying in showers from under his hoofs, something I could not understand +took place within my soul; and since that time I have been weary of +everything. I have looked with disdain on my father's best gallopers; I +have been ashamed to be seen on them, and yearning has taken possession +of me. In my anguish I have spent whole days on the cliffs, and, every +minute, my thoughts have kept turning to your black galloper with his +graceful gait and his sleek back, straight as an arrow. With his keen, +bright eyes he has looked into mine as if about to speak!... I shall +die, Kazbich, if you will not sell him to me!' said Azamat, with +trembling voice. + +"I could hear him burst out weeping, and I must tell you that Azamat was +a very stubborn lad, and that not for anything could tears be wrung from +him, even when he was a little younger. + +"In answer to his tears, I could hear something like a laugh. + +"'Listen,' said Azamat in a firm voice. 'You see, I am making up my +mind for anything. If you like, I will steal my sister for you! How she +dances! How she sings! And the way she embroiders with gold--marvellous! +Not even a Turkish Padishah [13] has had a wife like her!... Shall I? +Wait for me to-morrow night, yonder, in the gorge where the torrent +flows; I will go by with her to the neighbouring village--and she is +yours. Surely Bela is worth your galloper!' + +"Kazbich remained silent for a long, long time. At length, instead of +answering, he struck up in an undertone the ancient song: + + + "Many a beauty among us dwells + + From whose eyes' dark depths the starlight wells, + + 'Tis an envied lot and sweet, to hold + + Their love; but brighter is freedom bold. + + Four wives are yours if you pay the gold; + + But a mettlesome steed is of price untold; + + The whirlwind itself on the steppe is less fleet; + + He knows no treachery--no deceit." [14] + +"In vain Azamat entreated him to consent. He wept, coaxed, and swore to +him. Finally, Kazbich interrupted him impatiently: + +"'Begone, you crazy brat! How should you think to ride on my horse? In +three steps you would be thrown and your neck broken on the stones!' + +"'I?' cried Azamat in a fury, and the blade of the child's dagger rang +against the coat of mail. A powerful arm thrust him away, and he struck +the wattle fence with such violence that it rocked. + +"'Now we'll see some fun!' I thought to myself. + +"I rushed into the stable, bridled our horses and led them out into the +back courtyard. In a couple of minutes there was a terrible uproar in +the hut. What had happened was this: Azamat had rushed in, with his +tunic torn, saying that Kazbich was going to murder him. All sprang out, +seized their guns, and the fun began! Noise--shouts--shots! But by this +time Kazbich was in the saddle, and, wheeling among the crowd along the +street, defended himself like a madman, brandishing his sabre. + +"'It is a bad thing to interfere in other people's quarrels,' I said to +Grigori Aleksandrovich, taking him by the arm. 'Wouldn't it be better +for us to clear off without loss of time?' + +"'Wait, though, and see how it will end!' + +"'Oh, as to that, it will be sure enough to end badly; it is always +so with these Asiatics. Once let them get drunk on buza, and there's +certain to be bloodshed.' + +"We mounted and galloped home." + + + +CHAPTER IV + +"TELL me, what became of Kazbich?" I asked the staff-captain +impatiently. + +"Why, what can happen to that sort of a fellow?" he answered, finishing +his tumbler of tea. "He slipped away, of course." + +"And wasn't he wounded?" I asked. + +"Goodness only knows! Those scoundrels take a lot of killing! In action, +for instance, I've seen many a one, sir, stuck all over with bayonets +like a sieve, and still brandishing his sabre." + +After an interval of silence the staff-captain continued, tapping the +ground with his foot: + +"One thing I'll never forgive myself for. On our arrival at the fortress +the devil put it into my head to repeat to Grigori Aleksandrovich +all that I had heard when I was eavesdropping behind the fence. He +laughed--cunning fellow!--and thought out a little plan of his own." + +"What was that? Tell me, please." + +"Well, there's no help for it now, I suppose. I've begun the story, and +so I must continue. + +"In about four days' time Azamat rode over to the fortress. As his usual +custom was, he went to see Grigori Aleksandrovich, who always used to +give him sweetmeats to eat. I was present. The conversation was on the +subject of horses, and Pechorin began to sound the praises of Kazbich's +Karagyoz. What a mettlesome horse it was, and how handsome! A perfect +chamois! In fact, judging by his account, there simply wasn't another +like it in the whole world! + +"The young Tartar's beady eyes began to sparkle, but Pechorin didn't +seem to notice the fact. I started to talk about something else, but +immediately, mark you, Pechorin caused the conversation to strike off on +to Kazbich's horse. Every time that Azamat came it was the same story. +After about three weeks, I began to observe that Azamat was growing +pale and wasted, just as people in novels do from love, sir. What wonder +either!... + +"Well, you see, it was not until afterwards that I learned the whole +trick--Grigori Aleksandrovich exasperated Azamat to such an extent +with his teasing that the boy was ready even to drown himself. One day +Pechorin suddenly broke out with: + +"'I see, Azamat, that you have taken a desperate fancy to that horse +of Kazbich's, but you'll no more see him than you will the back of your +neck! Come, tell me, what would you give if somebody made you a present +of him?' + +"'Anything he wanted,' answered Azamat. + +"'In that case I will get the horse for you, only on one condition... +Swear that you will fulfil it?' + +"'I swear. You swear too!' + +"'Very well! I swear that the horse shall be yours. But, in return, +you must deliver your sister Bela into my hands. Karagyoz shall be her +bridegroom's gift. I hope the transaction will be a profitable one for +you.' + +"Azamat remained silent. + +"'Won't you? Well, just as you like! I thought you were a man, but +it seems you are still a child; it is early for you to be riding on +horseback!' + +"Azamat fired up. + +"'But my father--' he said. + +"'Does he never go away, then?' + +"'True.' + +"'You agree?' + +"'I agree,' whispered Azamat, pale as death. 'But when?' + +"'The first time Kazbich rides over here. He has promised to drive in +half a score of rams; the rest is my affair. Look out, then, Azamat!' + +"And so they settled the business--a bad business, to tell the truth! +I said as much to Pechorin afterwards, but he only answered that a wild +Circassian girl ought to consider herself fortunate in having such +a charming husband as himself--because, according to their ideas, he +really was her husband--and that Kazbich was a scoundrel, and ought to +be punished. Judge for yourself, what could I say to that?... At the +time, however, I knew nothing of their conspiracy. Well, one day Kazbich +rode up and asked whether we needed any rams and honey; and I ordered +him to bring some the next day. + +"'Azamat!' said Grigori Aleksandrovich; 'to-morrow Karagyoz will be in +my hands; if Bela is not here to-night you will never see the horse.'.. + +"'Very well,' said Azamat, and galloped to the village. + +"In the evening Grigori Aleksandrovich armed himself and rode out of the +fortress. How they settled the business I don't know, but at night they +both returned, and the sentry saw that across Azamat's saddle a woman +was lying, bound hand and foot and with her head wrapped in a veil." + +"And the horse?" I asked the staff-captain. + +"One minute! One minute! Early next morning Kazbich rode over, driving +in half a score of rams for sale. Tethering his horse by the fence, he +came in to see me, and I regaled him with tea, for, robber though he +was, he was none the less my guest-friend. + +"We began to chat about one thing and another... Suddenly I saw Kazbich +start, change countenance, and dart to the window; but unfortunately the +window looked on to the back courtyard. + +"'What is the matter with you?' I asked. + +"'My horse!... My horse!' he cried, all of a tremble. + +"As a matter of fact I heard the clattering of hoofs. + +"'It is probably some Cossack who has ridden up.' + +"'No! Urus--yaman, yaman!' [151] he roared, and rushed headlong away +like a wild panther. In two bounds he was in the courtyard; at the gate +of the fortress the sentry barred the way with his gun; Kazbich jumped +over the gun and dashed off at a run along the road... Dust was whirling +in the distance--Azamat was galloping away on the mettlesome Karagyoz. +Kazbich, as he ran, tore his gun out of its cover and fired. For a +moment he remained motionless, until he had assured himself that he had +missed. Then he uttered a shrill cry, knocked the gun against a rock, +smashed it to splinters, fell to the ground, and burst out sobbing like +a child... The people from the fortress gathered round him, but he took +no notice of anyone. They stood there talking awhile and then went back. +I ordered the money for the rams to be placed beside him. He didn't +touch it, but lay with his face to the ground like a dead man. Would you +believe it? He remained lying like that throughout the rest of that day +and the following night! It was only on the next morning that he came to +the fortress and proceeded to ask that the name of the thief should +be told him. The sentry who had observed Azamat untying the horse and +galloping away on him did not see any necessity for concealment. At the +name of Azamat, Kazbich's eyes flashed, and he set off to the village +where Azamat's father lived." + +"And what about the father?" + +"Ah, that was where the trick came in! Kazbich could not find him; +he had gone away somewhere for five or six days; otherwise, how could +Azamat have succeeded in carrying off Bela? + +"And, when the father returned, there was neither daughter nor son to be +found. A wily rogue, Azamat! He understood, you see, that he would lose +his life if he was caught. So, from that time, he was never seen again; +probably he joined some gang of Abreks and laid down his turbulent life +on the other side of the Terek or the Kuban. It would have served him +right!"... + + + + CHAPTER V + +"I CONFESS that, for my part, I had trouble enough over the business. +So soon as ever I learned that the Circassian girl was with Grigori +Aleksandrovich, I put on my epaulettes and sword and went to see him. + +"He was lying on the bed in the outer room, with one hand under his head +and the other holding a pipe which had gone out. The door leading to the +inner room was locked, and there was no key in the lock. I observed all +that in a moment... I coughed and rapped my heels against the threshold, +but he pretended not to hear. + +"'Ensign!' I said, as sternly as I could. 'Do you not see that I have +come to you?' + +"'Ah, good morning, Maksim Maksimych! Won't you have a pipe?' he +answered, without rising. + +"'Excuse me, I am not Maksim Maksimych. I am the staff-captain.' + +"'It's all the same! Won't you have some tea? If you only knew how I am +being tortured with anxiety.' + +"'I know all,' I answered, going up to the bed. + +"'So much the better,' he said. 'I am not in a narrative mood.' + +"'Ensign, you have committed an offence for which I may have to answer +as well as you.' + +"'Oh, that'll do. What's the harm? You know, we've gone halves in +everything.' + +"'What sort of a joke do you think you are playing? Your sword, +please!'... + +"'Mitka, my sword!' + +"'Mitka brought the sword. My duty discharged, I sat down on the bed, +facing Pechorin, and said: 'Listen here, Grigori Aleksandrovich, you +must admit that this is a bad business.' + +"'What is?' + +"'Why, that you have carried off Bela... Ah, it is that beast Azamat!... +Come, confess!' I said. + +"'But, supposing I am fond of her?'... + +"Well, what could I say to that?... I was nonplussed. After a short +interval of silence, however, I told him that if Bela's father were to +claim her he would have to give her up. + +"'Not at all!' + +"'But he will get to know that she is here.' + +"'How?' + +"Again I was nonplussed. + +"'Listen, Maksim Maksimych,' said Pechorin, rising to his feet. 'You're +a kind-hearted man, you know; but, if we give that savage back his +daughter, he will cut her throat or sell her. The deed is done, and the +only thing we can do now is not to go out of our way to spoil matters. +Leave Bela with me and keep my sword!' + +"'Show her to me, though,' I said. + +"'She is behind that door. Only I wanted, myself, to see her to-day and +wasn't able to. She sits in the corner, muffled in her veil, and neither +speaks nor looks up--timid as a wild chamois! I have hired the wife of +our dukhan-keeper: she knows the Tartar language, and will look after +Bela and accustom her to the idea that she belongs to me--for she shall +belong to no one else!' he added, banging his fist on the table. + +"I assented to that too... What could I do? There are some people with +whom you absolutely have to agree." + +"Well?" I asked Maksim Maksimych. "Did he really succeed in making +her grow accustomed to him, or did she pine away in captivity from +home-sickness?" + +"Good gracious! how could she pine away from home-sickness? From +the fortress she could see the very same hills as she could from the +village--and these savages require nothing more. Besides, Grigori +Aleksandrovich used to give her a present of some kind every day. At +first she didn't utter a word, but haughtily thrust away the gifts, +which then fell to the lot of the dukhan-keeper's wife and aroused her +eloquence. Ah, presents! What won't a woman do for a coloured rag!... +But that is by the way... For a long time Grigori Aleksandrovich +persevered with her, and meanwhile he studied the Tartar language and +she began to understand ours. Little by little she grew accustomed to +looking at him, at first furtively, askance; but she still pined and +crooned her songs in an undertone, so that even I would feel heavy +at heart when I heard her from the next room. One scene I shall never +forget: I was walking past, and I looked in at the window; Bela was +sitting on the stove-couch, her head sunk on her breast, and Grigori +Aleksandrovich was standing, facing her. + +"'Listen, my Peri,' he was saying. 'Surely you know that you will have +to be mine sooner or later--why, then, do you but torture me? Is it that +you are in love with some Chechene? If so, I will let you go home at +once.' + +"She gave a scarcely perceptible start and shook her head. + +"'Or is it,' he continued, 'that I am utterly hateful to you?' + +"She heaved a sigh. + +"'Or that your faith prohibits you from giving me a little of your +love?' + +"She turned pale and remained silent. + +"'Believe me, Allah is one and the same for all races; and, if he +permits me to love you, why, then, should he prohibit you from requiting +me by returning my love?' + +"She gazed fixedly into his face, as though struck by that new idea. +Distrust and a desire to be convinced were expressed in her eyes. What +eyes they were! They sparkled just like two glowing coals. + +"'Listen, my dear, good Bela!' continued Pechorin. 'You see how I love +you. I am ready to give up everything to make you cheerful once more. +I want you to be happy, and, if you are going to be sad again, I shall +die. Tell me, you will be more cheerful?' + +"She fell into thought, her black eyes still fixed upon him. Then she +smiled graciously and nodded her head in token of acquiescence. + +"He took her by the hand and tried to induce her to kiss him. She +defended herself feebly, and only repeated: 'Please! Please! You +mustn't, you mustn't!' + +"He went on to insist; she began to tremble and weep. + +"'I am your captive,' she said, 'your slave; of course, you can compel +me.' + +"And then, again--tears. + +"Grigori Aleksandrovich struck his forehead with his fist and sprang +into the other room. I went in to see him, and found him walking moodily +backwards and forwards with folded arms. + +"'Well, old man?' I said to him. + +"'She is a devil--not a woman!' he answered. 'But I give you my word of +honour that she shall be mine!' + +"I shook my head. + +"'Will you bet with me?' he said. 'In a week's time?' + +"'Very well,' I answered. + +"We shook hands on it and separated. + +"The next day he immediately despatched an express messenger to Kizlyar +to purchase some things for him. The messenger brought back a quite +innumerable quantity of various Persian stuffs. + +"'What think you, Maksim Maksimych?' he said to me, showing the +presents. 'Will our Asiatic beauty hold out against such a battery as +this?' + +"'You don't know the Circassian women,' I answered. 'They are not at all +the same as the Georgian or the Transcaucasian Tartar women--not at all! +They have their own principles, they are brought up differently.' + +"Grigori Aleksandrovich smiled and began to whistle a march to himself." + + + +CHAPTER VI + +"AS things fell out, however," continued Maksim Maksimych, "I was right, +you see. The presents produced only half an effect. She became +more gracious more trustful--but that was all. Pechorin accordingly +determined upon a last expedient. One morning he ordered his horse to be +saddled, dressed himself as a Circassian, armed himself, and went into +her room. + +"'Bela,' he said. 'You know how I love you. I decided to carry you off, +thinking that when you grew to know me you would give me your love. +I was mistaken. Farewell! Remain absolute mistress of all I possess. +Return to your father if you like--you are free. I have acted +wrongfully towards you, and I must punish myself. Farewell! I am going. +Whither?--How should I know? Perchance I shall not have long to court +the bullet or the sabre-stroke. Then remember me and forgive.' + +"He turned away, and stretched out his hand to her in farewell. She did +not take his hand, but remained silent. But I, standing there behind the +door, was able through a chink to observe her countenance, and I felt +sorry for her--such a deathly pallor shrouded that charming little face! +Hearing no answer, Pechorin took a few steps towards the door. He was +trembling, and--shall I tell you?--I think that he was in a state to +perform in very fact what he had been saying in jest! He was just that +sort of man, Heaven knows! + +"He had scarcely touched the door, however, when Bela sprang to her +feet, burst out sobbing, and threw herself on his neck! Would you +believe it? I, standing there behind the door, fell to weeping too, +that is to say, you know, not exactly weeping--but just--well, something +foolish!" + +The staff-captain became silent. + +"Yes, I confess," he said after a while, tugging at his moustache, "I +felt hurt that not one woman had ever loved me like that." + +"Was their happiness lasting?" I asked. + +"Yes, she admitted that, from the day she had first cast eyes on +Pechorin, she had often dreamed of him, and that no other man had ever +produced such an impression upon her. Yes, they were happy!" + +"How tiresome!" I exclaimed, involuntarily. + +In point of fact, I had been expecting a tragic ending--when, lo! he +must needs disappoint my hopes in such an unexpected manner!... + +"Is it possible, though," I continued, "that her father did not guess +that she was with you in the fortress?" + +"Well, you must know, he seems to have had his suspicions. After a few +days, we learned that the old man had been murdered. This is how it +happened."... + +My attention was aroused anew. + +"I must tell you that Kazbich imagined that the horse had been stolen by +Azamat with his father's consent; at any rate, that is what I suppose. +So, one day, Kazbich went and waited by the roadside, about three versts +beyond the village. The old man was returning from one of his futile +searches for his daughter; his retainers were lagging behind. It was +dusk. Deep in thought, he was riding at a walking pace when, suddenly, +Kazbich darted out like a cat from behind a bush, sprang up behind +him on the horse, flung him to the ground with a thrust of his dagger, +seized the bridle and was off. A few of the retainers saw the whole +affair from the hill; they dashed off in pursuit of Kazbich, but failed +to overtake him." + +"He requited himself for the loss of his horse, and took his revenge at +the same time," I said, with a view to evoking my companion's opinion. + +"Of course, from their point of view," said the staff-captain, "he was +perfectly right." + +I was involuntarily struck by the aptitude which the Russian displays +for accommodating himself to the customs of the people in whose midst +he happens to be living. I know not whether this mental quality is +deserving of censure or commendation, but it proves the incredible +pliancy of his mind and the presence of that clear common sense which +pardons evil wherever it sees that evil is inevitable or impossible of +annihilation. + + + +CHAPTER VII + +IN the meantime we had finished our tea. The horses, which had been +put to long before, were freezing in the snow. In the west the moon +was growing pale, and was just on the point of plunging into the black +clouds which were hanging over the distant summits like the shreds of a +torn curtain. We went out of the hut. Contrary to my fellow-traveller's +prediction, the weather had cleared up, and there was a promise of +a calm morning. The dancing choirs of the stars were interwoven in +wondrous patterns on the distant horizon, and, one after another, they +flickered out as the wan resplendence of the east suffused the dark, +lilac vault of heaven, gradually illumining the steep mountain slopes, +covered with the virgin snows. To right and left loomed grim and +mysterious chasms, and masses of mist, eddying and coiling like snakes, +were creeping thither along the furrows of the neighbouring cliffs, as +though sentient and fearful of the approach of day. + +All was calm in heaven and on earth, calm as within the heart of a man +at the moment of morning prayer; only at intervals a cool wind rushed +in from the east, lifting the horses' manes which were covered with +hoar-frost. We started off. The five lean jades dragged our wagons with +difficulty along the tortuous road up Mount Gut. We ourselves walked +behind, placing stones under the wheels whenever the horses were spent. +The road seemed to lead into the sky, for, so far as the eye could +discern, it still mounted up and up, until finally it was lost in the +cloud which, since early evening, had been resting on the summit of +Mount Gut, like a kite awaiting its prey. The snow crunched under our +feet. The atmosphere grew so rarefied that to breathe was painful; ever +and anon the blood rushed to my head, but withal a certain rapturous +sensation was diffused throughout my veins and I felt a species of +delight at being so high up above the world. A childish feeling, I +admit, but, when we retire from the conventions of society and draw +close to nature, we involuntarily become as children: each attribute +acquired by experience falls away from the soul, which becomes anew such +as it was once and will surely be again. He whose lot it has been, as +mine has been, to wander over the desolate mountains, long, long to +observe their fantastic shapes, greedily to gulp down the life-giving +air diffused through their ravines--he, of course, will understand my +desire to communicate, to narrate, to sketch those magic pictures. + +Well, at length we reached the summit of Mount Gut and, halting, looked +around us. Upon the mountain a grey cloud was hanging, and its cold +breath threatened the approach of a storm; but in the east everything +was so clear and golden that we--that is, the staff-captain and +I--forgot all about the cloud... Yes, the staff-captain too; in +simple hearts the feeling for the beauty and grandeur of nature is a +hundred-fold stronger and more vivid than in us, ecstatic composers of +narratives in words and on paper. + +"You have grown accustomed, I suppose, to these magnificent pictures!" I +said. + +"Yes, sir, you can even grow accustomed to the whistling of a bullet, +that is to say, accustomed to concealing the involuntary thumping of +your heart." + +"I have heard, on the contrary, that many an old warrior actually finds +that music agreeable." + +"Of course, if it comes to that, it is agreeable; but only just because +the heart beats more violently. Look!" he added, pointing towards the +east. "What a country!" + +And, indeed, such a panorama I can hardly hope to see elsewhere. Beneath +us lay the Koishaur Valley, intersected by the Aragva and another stream +as if by two silver threads; a bluish mist was gliding along the valley, +fleeing into the neighbouring defiles from the warm rays of the morning. +To right and left the mountain crests, towering higher and higher, +intersected each other and stretched out, covered with snows and +thickets; in the distance were the same mountains, which now, however, +had the appearance of two cliffs, one like to the other. And all these +snows were burning in the crimson glow so merrily and so brightly that +it seemed as though one could live in such a place for ever. The sun was +scarcely visible behind the dark-blue mountain, which only a practised +eye could distinguish from a thunder-cloud; but above the sun was a +blood-red streak to which my companion directed particular attention. + +"I told you," he exclaimed, "that there would be dirty weather to-day! +We must make haste, or perhaps it will catch us on Mount Krestov.--Get +on!" he shouted to the drivers. + +Chains were put under the wheels in place of drags, so that they should +not slide, the drivers took the horses by the reins, and the descent +began. On the right was a cliff, on the left a precipice, so deep that +an entire village of Ossetes at the bottom looked like a swallow's nest. +I shuddered, as the thought occurred to me that often in the depth of +night, on that very road, where two wagons could not pass, a courier +drives some ten times a year without climbing down from his rickety +vehicle. One of our drivers was a Russian peasant from Yaroslavl, the +other, an Ossete. The latter took out the leaders in good time and led +the shaft-horse by the reins, using every possible precaution--but +our heedless compatriot did not even climb down from his box! When I +remarked to him that he might put himself out a bit, at least in the +interests of my portmanteau, for which I had not the slightest desire to +clamber down into the abyss, he answered: + +"Eh, master, with the help of Heaven we shall arrive as safe and sound +as the others; it's not our first time, you know." + +And he was right. We might just as easily have failed to arrive at +all; but arrive we did, for all that. And if people would only reason a +little more they would be convinced that life is not worth taking such a +deal of trouble about. + +Perhaps, however, you would like to know the conclusion of the story +of Bela? In the first place, this is not a novel, but a collection of +travelling-notes, and, consequently, I cannot make the staff-captain +tell the story sooner than he actually proceeded to tell it. Therefore, +you must wait a bit, or, if you like, turn over a few pages. Though I do +not advise you to do the latter, because the crossing of Mount Krestov +(or, as the erudite Gamba calls it, le mont St. Christophe [15]) is +worthy of your curiosity. + +Well, then, we descended Mount Gut into the Chertov Valley... There's +a romantic designation for you! Already you have a vision of the evil +spirit's nest amid the inaccessible cliffs--but you are out of your +reckoning there. The name "Chertov" is derived from the word cherta +(boundary-line) and not from chort (devil), because, at one time, +the valley marked the boundary of Georgia. We found it choked with +snow-drifts, which reminded us rather vividly of Saratov, Tambov, and +other charming localities of our fatherland. + +"Look, there is Krestov!" said the staff-captain, when we had descended +into the Chertov Valley, as he pointed out a hill covered with a shroud +of snow. Upon the summit stood out the black outline of a stone cross, +and past it led an all but imperceptible road which travellers use only +when the side-road is obstructed with snow. Our drivers, declaring that +no avalanches had yet fallen, spared the horses by conducting us round +the mountain. At a turning we met four or five Ossetes, who offered +us their services; and, catching hold of the wheels, proceeded, with +a shout, to drag and hold up our cart. And, indeed, it is a dangerous +road; on the right were masses of snow hanging above us, and ready, +it seemed, at the first squall of wind to break off and drop into the +ravine; the narrow road was partly covered with snow, which, in many +places, gave way under our feet and, in others, was converted into ice +by the action of the sun by day and the frosts by night, so that the +horses kept falling, and it was with difficulty that we ourselves +made our way. On the left yawned a deep chasm, through which rolled a +torrent, now hiding beneath a crust of ice, now leaping and foaming +over the black rocks. In two hours we were barely able to double Mount +Krestov--two versts in two hours! Meanwhile the clouds had descended, +hail and snow fell; the wind, bursting into the ravines, howled and +whistled like Nightingale the Robber. [16] Soon the stone cross was +hidden in the mist, the billows of which, in ever denser and more +compact masses, rushed in from the east... + +Concerning that stone cross, by the way, there exists the strange, but +widespread, tradition that it had been set up by the Emperor Peter the +First when travelling through the Caucasus. In the first place, however, +the Emperor went no farther than Daghestan; and, in the second place, +there is an inscription in large letters on the cross itself, to the +effect that it had been erected by order of General Ermolov, and that +too in the year 1824. Nevertheless, the tradition has taken such firm +root, in spite of the inscription, that really you do not know what to +believe; the more so, as it is not the custom to believe inscriptions. + +To reach the station Kobi, we still had to descend about five versts, +across ice-covered rocks and plashy snow. The horses were exhausted; +we were freezing; the snowstorm droned with ever-increasing violence, +exactly like the storms of our own northern land, only its wild melodies +were sadder and more melancholy. + +"O Exile," I thought, "thou art weeping for thy wide, free steppes! +There mayest thou unfold thy cold wings, but here thou art stifled and +confined, like an eagle beating his wings, with a shriek, against the +grating of his iron cage!" + +"A bad look out," said the staff-captain. "Look! There's nothing to be +seen all round but mist and snow. At any moment we may tumble into an +abyss or stick fast in a cleft; and a little lower down, I dare say, the +Baidara has risen so high that there is no getting across it. Oh, this +Asia, I know it! Like people, like rivers! There's no trusting them at +all!" + +The drivers, shouting and cursing, belaboured the horses, which +snorted, resisted obstinately, and refused to budge on any account, +notwithstanding the eloquence of the whips. + +"Your honour," one of the drivers said to me at length, "you see, we +will never reach Kobi to-day. Won't you give orders to turn to the left +while we can? There is something black yonder on the slope--probably +huts. Travellers always stop there in bad weather, sir. They say," he +added, pointing to the Ossetes, "that they will lead us there if you +will give them a tip." + +"I know that, my friend, I know that without your telling me," said +the staff-captain. "Oh, these beasts! They are delighted to seize any +pretext for extorting a tip!" + +"You must confess, however," I said, "that we should be worse off +without them." + +"Just so, just so," he growled to himself. "I know them well--these +guides! They scent out by instinct a chance of taking advantage of +people. As if it was impossible to find the way without them!" + +Accordingly we turned aside to the left, and, somehow or other, after +a good deal of trouble, made our way to the wretched shelter, which +consisted of two huts built of stone slabs and rubble, surrounded by a +wall of the same material. Our ragged hosts received us with alacrity. I +learned afterwards that the Government supplies them with money and food +upon condition that they put up travellers who are overtaken by storm. + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +"ALL is for the best," I said, sitting down close by the fire. "Now you +will finish telling me your story about Bela. I am certain that what you +have already told me was not the end of it." + +"Why are you so certain?" answered the staff-captain, winking and +smiling slyly. + +"Because things don't happen like that. A story with such an unusual +beginning must also have an unusual ending." + +"You have guessed, of course"... + +"I am very glad to hear it." + +"It is all very well for you to be glad, but, indeed, it makes me +sad when I think of it. Bela was a splendid girl. In the end I grew +accustomed to her just as if she had been my own daughter, and she loved +me. I must tell you that I have no family. I have had no news of my +father and mother for twelve years or so, and, in my earlier days, I +never thought of providing myself with a wife--and now, you know, it +wouldn't do. So I was glad to have found someone to spoil. She used to +sing to us or dance the Lezginka. [17].. And what a dancer she was! I +have seen our own ladies in provincial society; and on one occasion, +sir, about twenty years ago, I was even in the Nobles' Club at +Moscow--but was there a woman to be compared with her? Not one! Grigori +Aleksandrovich dressed her up like a doll, petted and pampered her, and +it was simply astonishing to see how pretty she grew while she lived +with us. The sunburn disappeared from her face and hands, and a rosy +colour came into her cheeks... What a merry girl she was! Always making +fun of me, the little rogue!... Heaven forgive her!" + +"And when you told her of her father's death?" + +"We kept it a secret from her for a long time, until she had grown +accustomed to her position; and then, when she was told, she cried for a +day or two and forgot all about it. + +"For four months or so everything went on as well as it possibly +could. Grigori Aleksandrovich, as I think I have already mentioned, was +passionately fond of hunting; he was always craving to be off into the +forest after boars or wild goats--but now it would be as much as he +would do to go beyond the fortress rampart. All at once, however, I saw +that he was beginning again to have fits of abstraction, walking about +his room with his hands clasped behind his back. One day after that, +without telling anyone, he set off shooting. During the whole morning +he was not to be seen; then the same thing happened another time, and so +on--oftener and oftener... + +"'This looks bad!' I said to myself. 'Something must have come between +them!' + +"One morning I paid them a visit--I can see it all in my mind's eye, as +if it was happening now. Bela was sitting on the bed, wearing a black +silk jacket, and looking rather pale and so sad that I was alarmed. + +"'Where is Pechorin?' I asked. + +"'Hunting.' + +"'When did he go--to-day?' + +"'She was silent, as if she found a difficulty in answering. + +"'No, he has been gone since yesterday,' she said at length, with a +heavy sigh. + +"'Surely nothing has happened to him!' + +"'Yesterday I thought and thought the whole day,' she answered through +her tears; 'I imagined all sorts of misfortunes. At one time I fancied +that he had been wounded by a wild boar, at another time, that he had +been carried off by a Chechene into the mountains... But, now, I have +come to think that he no longer loves me.' + +"'In truth, my dear girl, you could not have imagined anything worse!' + +"She burst out crying; then, proudly raising her head, she wiped away +the tears and continued: + +"'If he does not love me, then who prevents him sending me home? I am +not putting any constraint on him. But, if things go on like this, I +will go away myself--I am not a slave, I am a prince's daughter!'... + +"I tried to talk her over. + +"'Listen, Bela. You see it is impossible for him to stop in here with +you for ever, as if he was sewn on to your petticoat. He is a young man +and fond of hunting. Off he'll go, but you will find that he will come +back; and, if you are going to be unhappy, you will soon make him tired +of you.' + +"'True, true!' she said. 'I will be merry.' + +"And with a burst of laughter, she seized her tambourine, began to sing, +dance, and gambol around me. But that did not last long either; she fell +upon the bed again and buried her face in her hands. + +"What could I do with her? You know I have never been accustomed to +the society of women. I thought and thought how to cheer her up, but +couldn't hit on anything. For some time both of us remained silent... A +most unpleasant situation, sir! + +"At length I said to her: + +"'Would you like us to go and take a walk on the rampart? The weather is +splendid.' + +"This was in September, and indeed it was a wonderful day, bright and +not too hot. The mountains could be seen as clearly as though they were +but a hand's-breadth away. We went, and walked in silence to and fro +along the rampart of the fortress. At length she sat down on the sward, +and I sat beside her. In truth, now, it is funny to think of it all! I +used to run after her just like a kind of children's nurse! + +"Our fortress was situated in a lofty position, and the view from the +rampart was superb. On one side, the wide clearing, seamed by a few +clefts, was bounded by the forest which stretched out to the very ridge +of the mountains. Here and there, on the clearing, villages were to be +seen sending forth their smoke, and there were droves of horses roaming +about. On the other side flowed a tiny stream, and close to its banks +came the dense undergrowth which covered the flinty heights joining the +principal chain of the Caucasus. We sat in a corner of the bastion, so +that we could see everything on both sides. Suddenly I perceived +someone on a grey horse riding out of the forest; nearer and nearer he +approached until finally he stopped on the far side of the river, about +a hundred fathoms from us, and began to wheel his horse round and round +like one possessed. 'Strange!' I thought. + +"'Look, look, Bela,' I said, 'you've got young eyes--what sort of a +horseman is that? Who is it he has come to amuse?'... + +"'It is Kazbich!' she exclaimed after a glance. + +"'Ah, the robber! Come to laugh at us, has he?' + +"I looked closely, and sure enough it was Kazbich, with his swarthy +face, and as ragged and dirty as ever. + +"'It is my father's horse!' said Bela, seizing my arm. + +"She was trembling like a leaf and her eyes were sparkling. + +"'Aha!' I said to myself. 'There is robber's blood in your veins still, +my dear!' + +"'Come here,' I said to the sentry. 'Look to your gun and unhorse that +gallant for me--and you shall have a silver ruble.' + +"'Very well, your honour, only he won't keep still.' + +"'Tell him to!' I said, with a laugh. + +"'Hey, friend!' cried the sentry, waving his hand. 'Wait a bit. What are +you spinning round like a humming-top for?' + +"Kazbich halted and gave ear to the sentry--probably thinking that we +were going to parley with him. Quite the contrary!... My grenadier took +aim... Bang!... Missed!... Just as the powder flashed in the pan Kazbich +jogged his horse, which gave a bound to one side. He stood up in his +stirrups, shouted something in his own language, made a threatening +gesture with his whip--and was off. + +"'Aren't you ashamed of yourself?' I said to the sentry. + +"'He has gone away to die, your honour,' he answered. 'There's no +killing a man of that cursed race at one stroke.' + +"A quarter of an hour later Pechorin returned from hunting. Bela +threw herself on his neck without a single complaint, without a single +reproach for his lengthy absence!... Even I was angry with him by this +time! + +"'Good heavens!' I said; 'why, I tell you, Kazbich was here on the other +side of the river just a moment ago, and we shot at him. How easily +you might have run up against him, you know! These mountaineers are a +vindictive race! Do you suppose he does not guess that you gave Azamat +some help? And I wager that he recognised Bela to-day! I know he was +desperately fond of her a year ago--he told me so himself--and, if he +had had any hope of getting together a proper bridegroom's gift, he +would certainly have sought her in marriage.' + +"At this Pechorin became thoughtful. + +"'Yes,' he answered. 'We must be more cautious--Bela, from this day +forth you mustn't walk on the rampart any more.' + +"In the evening I had a lengthy explanation with him. I was vexed that +his feelings towards the poor girl had changed; to say nothing of his +spending half the day hunting, his manner towards her had become cold. +He rarely caressed her, and she was beginning perceptibly to pine away; +her little face was becoming drawn, her large eyes growing dim. + +"'What are you sighing for, Bela?' I would ask her. 'Are you sad?' + +"'No!' + +"'Do you want anything?' + +"'No!' + +"'You are pining for your kinsfolk?' + +"'I have none!' + +"Sometimes for whole days not a word could be drawn from her but 'Yes' +and 'No.' + +"So I straightway proceeded to talk to Pechorin about her." + + + +CHAPTER IX + +"'LISTEN, Maksim Maksimych,' said Pechorin. 'Mine is an unfortunate +disposition; whether it is the result of my upbringing or whether it +is innate--I know not. I only know this, that if I am the cause of +unhappiness in others I myself am no less unhappy. Of course, that is a +poor consolation to them--only the fact remains that such is the case. +In my early youth, from the moment I ceased to be under the guardianship +of my relations, I began madly to enjoy all the pleasures which money +could buy--and, of course, such pleasures became irksome to me. Then I +launched out into the world of fashion--and that, too, soon palled upon +me. I fell in love with fashionable beauties and was loved by them, but +my imagination and egoism alone were aroused; my heart remained empty... +I began to read, to study--but sciences also became utterly wearisome to +me. I saw that neither fame nor happiness depends on them in the +least, because the happiest people are the uneducated, and fame is good +fortune, to attain which you have only to be smart. Then I grew bored... +Soon afterwards I was transferred to the Caucasus; and that was +the happiest time of my life. I hoped that under the bullets of the +Chechenes boredom could not exist--a vain hope! In a month I grew so +accustomed to the buzzing of the bullets and to the proximity of death +that, to tell the truth, I paid more attention to the gnats--and I +became more bored than ever, because I had lost what was almost my last +hope. When I saw Bela in my own house; when, for the first time, I held +her on my knee and kissed her black locks, I, fool that I was, thought +that she was an angel sent to me by sympathetic fate... Again I was +mistaken; the love of a savage is little better than that of your lady +of quality, the barbaric ignorance and simplicity of the one weary you +as much as the coquetry of the other. I am not saying that I do not love +her still; I am grateful to her for a few fairly sweet moments; I would +give my life for her--only I am bored with her... Whether I am a fool or +a villain I know not; but this is certain, I am also most deserving of +pity--perhaps more than she. My soul has been spoiled by the world, +my imagination is unquiet, my heart insatiate. To me everything is of +little moment. I become as easily accustomed to grief as to joy, and my +life grows emptier day by day. One expedient only is left to me--travel. + +"'As soon as I can, I shall set off--but not to Europe. Heaven forfend! +I shall go to America, to Arabia, to India--perchance I shall die +somewhere on the way. At any rate, I am convinced that, thanks to storms +and bad roads, that last consolation will not quickly be exhausted!' + +"For a long time he went on speaking thus, and his words have remained +stamped upon my memory, because it was the first time that I had heard +such things from a man of five-and-twenty--and Heaven grant it may +be the last. Isn't it astonishing? Tell me, please," continued the +staff-captain, appealing to me. "You used to live in the Capital, I +think, and that not so very long ago. Is it possible that the young men +there are all like that?" + +I replied that there were a good many people who used the same sort +of language, that, probably, there might even be some who spoke in all +sincerity; that disillusionment, moreover, like all other vogues, having +had its beginning in the higher strata of society, had descended to the +lower, where it was being worn threadbare, and that, now, those who were +really and truly bored strove to conceal their misfortune as if it were +a vice. The staff-captain did not understand these subtleties, shook his +head, and smiled slyly. + +"Anyhow, I suppose it was the French who introduced the fashion?" + +"No, the English." + +"Aha, there you are!" he answered. "They always have been arrant +drunkards, you know!" + +Involuntarily I recalled to mind a certain lady, living in Moscow, who +used to maintain that Byron was nothing more nor less than a drunkard. +However, the staff-captain's observation was more excusable; in order to +abstain from strong drink, he naturally endeavoured to convince himself +that all the misfortunes in the world are the result of drunkenness. + + + +CHAPTER X + +MEANWHILE the staff-captain continued his story. + +"Kazbich never put in an appearance again; but somehow--I don't know +why--I could not get the idea out of my head that he had had a reason +for coming, and that some mischievous scheme was in his mind. + +"Well, one day Pechorin tried to persuade me to go boar-hunting with +him. For a long time I refused. What novelty was a wild boar to me? + +"However, off he dragged me, all the same. We took four or five soldiers +and set out early in the morning. Up till ten o'clock we scurried about +the reeds and the forest--there wasn't a wild beast to be found! + +"'I say, oughtn't we to be going back?' I said. 'What's the use of +sticking at it? It is evident enough that we have happened on an unlucky +day!' + +"But, in spite of heat and fatigue, Pechorin didn't like to return +empty-handed... That is just the kind of man he was; whatever he set +his heart on he had to have--evidently, in his childhood, he had been +spoiled by an indulgent mother. At last, at midday, we discovered one +of those cursed wild boars--Bang! Bang!--No good!--Off it went into the +reeds. That was an unlucky day, to be sure!... So, after a short rest, +we set off homeward... + +"We rode in silence, side by side, giving the horses their head. We had +almost reached the fortress, and only the brushwood concealed it from +view. Suddenly a shot rang out... We glanced at each other, both struck +with the selfsame suspicion... We galloped headlong in the direction of +the shot, looked, and saw the soldiers clustered together on the rampart +and pointing towards a field, along which a rider was flying at full +speed, holding something white across his saddle. Grigori Aleksandrovich +yelled like any Chechene, whipped his gun from its cover, and gave +chase--I after him. + +"Luckily, thanks to our unsuccessful hunt, our horses were not jaded; +they strained under the saddle, and with every moment we drew nearer and +nearer... At length I recognised Kazbich, only I could not make out what +it was that he was holding in front of him. + +"Then I drew level with Pechorin and shouted to him: + +"'It is Kazbich!' + +"He looked at me, nodded, and struck his horse with his whip. + +"At last we were within gunshot of Kazbich. Whether it was that his +horse was jaded or not so good as ours, I don't know, but, in spite of +all his efforts, it did not get along very fast. I fancy at that moment +he remembered his Karagyoz! + +"I looked at Pechorin. He was taking aim as he galloped... + +"'Don't shoot,' I cried. 'Save the shot! We will catch up with him as it +is.' + +"Oh, these young men! Always taking fire at the wrong moment! The shot +rang out and the bullet broke one of the horse's hind legs. It gave a +few fiery leaps forward, stumbled, and fell to its knees. Kazbich sprang +off, and then we perceived that it was a woman he was holding in his +arms--a woman wrapped in a veil. It was Bela--poor Bela! He shouted +something to us in his own language and raised his dagger over her... +Delay was useless; I fired in my turn, at haphazard. Probably the bullet +struck him in the shoulder, because he dropped his hand suddenly. When +the smoke cleared off, we could see the wounded horse lying on the +ground and Bela beside it; but Kazbich, his gun flung away, was +clambering like a cat up the cliff, through the brushwood. I should have +liked to have brought him down from there--but I hadn't a charge ready. +We jumped off our horses and rushed to Bela. Poor girl! She was lying +motionless, and the blood was pouring in streams from her wound. The +villain! If he had struck her to the heart--well and good, everything +would at least have been finished there and then; but to stab her in +the back like that--the scoundrel! She was unconscious. We tore the +veil into strips and bound up the wound as tightly as we could. In vain +Pechorin kissed her cold lips--it was impossible to bring her to. + +"Pechorin mounted; I lifted Bela from the ground and somehow managed to +place her before him on his saddle; he put his arm round her and we rode +back. + +"'Look here, Maksim Maksimych,' said Grigori Aleksandrovich, after a few +moments of silence. 'We will never bring her in alive like this.' + +"'True!' I said, and we put our horses to a full gallop." + + + +CHAPTER XI + +"A CROWD was awaiting us at the fortress gate. Carefully we carried the +wounded girl to Pechorin's quarters, and then we sent for the doctor. +The latter was drunk, but he came, examined the wound, and announced +that she could not live more than a day. He was mistaken, though." + +"She recovered?" I asked the staff-captain, seizing him by the arm, and +involuntarily rejoicing. + +"No," he replied, "but the doctor was so far mistaken that she lived two +days longer." + +"Explain, though, how Kazbich made off with her!" + +"It was like this: in spite of Pechorin's prohibition, she went out of +the fortress and down to the river. It was a very hot day, you know, and +she sat on a rock and dipped her feet in the water. Up crept Kazbich, +pounced upon her, silenced her, and dragged her into the bushes. Then +he sprang on his horse and made off. In the meantime she succeeded in +crying out, the sentries took the alarm, fired, but wide of the mark; +and thereupon we arrived on the scene." + +"But what did Kazbich want to carry her off for?" + +"Good gracious! Why, everyone knows these Circassians are a race of +thieves; they can't keep their hands off anything that is left lying +about! They may not want a thing, but they will steal it, for all that. +Still, you mustn't be too hard on them. And, besides, he had been in +love with her for a long time." + +"And Bela died?" + +"Yes, she died, but she suffered for a long time, and we were fairly +knocked up with her, I can tell you. About ten o'clock in the evening +she came to herself. We were sitting by her bed. As soon as ever she +opened her eyes she began to call Pechorin. + +"'I am here beside you, my janechka' (that is, 'my darling'), he +answered, taking her by the hand. + +"'I shall die,' she said. + +"We began to comfort her, telling her that the doctor had promised +infallibly to cure her. She shook her little head and turned to the +wall--she did not want to die!... + +"At night she became delirious, her head burned, at times a feverish +paroxysm convulsed her whole body. She talked incoherently about her +father, her brother; she yearned for the mountains, for her home... Then +she spoke of Pechorin also, called him various fond names, or reproached +him for having ceased to love his janechka. + +"He listened to her in silence, his head sunk in his hands; but yet, +during the whole time, I did not notice a single tear-drop on his +lashes. I do not know whether he was actually unable to weep or was +mastering himself; but for my part I have never seen anything more +pitiful. + +"Towards morning the delirium passed off. For an hour or so she lay +motionless, pale, and so weak that it was hardly possible to observe +that she was breathing. After that she grew better and began to talk: +only about what, think you? Such thoughts come only to the dying!... She +lamented that she was not a Christian, that in the other world her +soul would never meet the soul of Grigori Aleksandrovich, and that in +Paradise another woman would be his companion. The thought occurred to +me to baptize her before her death. I told her my idea; she looked at me +undecidedly, and for a long time was unable to utter a word. Finally she +answered that she would die in the faith in which she had been born. +A whole day passed thus. What a change that day made in her! Her pale +cheeks fell in, her eyes grew ever so large, her lips burned. She felt +a consuming heat within her, as though a red-hot blade was piercing her +breast. + +"The second night came on. We did not close our eyes or leave the +bedside. She suffered terribly, and groaned; and directly the pain began +to abate she endeavoured to assure Grigori Aleksandrovich that she felt +better, tried to persuade him to go to bed, kissed his hand and would +not let it out of hers. Before the morning she began to feel the death +agony and to toss about. She knocked the bandage off, and the blood +flowed afresh. When the wound was bound up again she grew quiet for a +moment and begged Pechorin to kiss her. He fell on his knees beside +the bed, raised her head from the pillow, and pressed his lips to +hers--which were growing cold. She threw her trembling arms closely +round his neck, as if with that kiss she wished to yield up her soul +to him.--No, she did well to die! Why, what would have become of her if +Grigori Aleksandrovich had abandoned her? And that is what would have +happened, sooner or later. + +"During half the following day she was calm, silent and docile, however +much the doctor tortured her with his fomentations and mixtures. + +"'Good heavens!' I said to him, 'you know you said yourself that she was +certain to die, so what is the good of all these preparations of yours?' + +"'Even so, it is better to do all this,' he replied, 'so that I may have +an easy conscience.' + +"A pretty conscience, forsooth! + +"After midday Bela began to suffer from thirst. We opened the windows, +but it was hotter outside than in the room; we placed ice round the +bed--all to no purpose. I knew that that intolerable thirst was a sign +of the approaching end, and I told Pechorin so. + +"'Water, water!' she said in a hoarse voice, raising herself up from the +bed. + +"Pechorin turned pale as a sheet, seized a glass, filled it, and gave +it to her. I covered my eyes with my hands and began to say a prayer--I +can't remember what... Yes, my friend, many a time have I seen people +die in hospitals or on the field of battle, but this was something +altogether different! Still, this one thing grieves me, I must confess: +she died without even once calling me to mind. Yet I loved her, I should +think, like a father!... Well, God forgive her!... And, to tell the +truth, what am I that she should have remembered me when she was +dying?... + +"As soon as she had drunk the water, she grew easier--but in about three +minutes she breathed her last! We put a looking-glass to her lips--it +was undimmed! + +"I led Pechorin from the room, and we went on to the fortress rampart. +For a long time we walked side by side, to and fro, speaking not a word +and with our hands clasped behind our backs. His face expressed nothing +out of the common--and that vexed me. Had I been in his place, I should +have died of grief. At length he sat down on the ground in the shade and +began to draw something in the sand with his stick. More for form's sake +than anything, you know, I tried to console him and began to talk. He +raised his head and burst into a laugh! At that laugh a cold shudder ran +through me... I went away to order a coffin. + +"I confess it was partly to distract my thoughts that I busied myself in +that way. I possessed a little piece of Circassian stuff, and I covered +the coffin with it, and decked it with some Circassian silver lace which +Grigori Aleksandrovich had bought for Bela herself. + +"Early next morning we buried her behind the fortress, by the river, +beside the spot where she had sat for the last time. Around her little +grave white acacia shrubs and elder-trees have now grown up. I +should have liked to erect a cross, but that would not have done, you +know--after all, she was not a Christian." + +"And what of Pechorin?" I asked. + +"Pechorin was ill for a long time, and grew thin, poor fellow; but +we never spoke of Bela from that time forth. I saw that it would be +disagreeable to him, so what would have been the use? About three months +later he was appointed to the E----Regiment, and departed for Georgia. +We have never met since. Yet, when I come to think of it, somebody told +me not long ago that he had returned to Russia--but it was not in the +general orders for the corps. Besides, to the like of us news is late in +coming." + +Hereupon--probably to drown sad memories--he launched forth into a +lengthy dissertation on the unpleasantness of learning news a year late. + +I did not interrupt him, nor did I listen. + +In an hour's time a chance of proceeding on our journey presented +itself. The snowstorm subsided, the sky became clear, and we set off. On +the way I involuntarily let the conversation turn on Bela and Pechorin. + +"You have not heard what became of Kazbich?" I asked. + +"Kazbich? In truth, I don't know. I have heard that with the Shapsugs, +on our right flank, there is a certain Kazbich, a dare-devil fellow who +rides about at a walking pace, in a red tunic, under our bullets, and +bows politely whenever one hums near him--but it can scarcely be the +same person!"... + +In Kobi, Maksim Maksimych and I parted company. I posted on, and he, +on account of his heavy luggage, was unable to follow me. We had no +expectation of ever meeting again, but meet we did, and, if you like, +I will tell you how--it is quite a history... You must acknowledge, +though, that Maksim Maksimych is a man worthy of all respect... If +you admit that, I shall be fully rewarded for my, perhaps, too lengthy +story. + + + + + +BOOK II MAKSIM MAKSIMYCH + +AFTER parting with Maksim Maksimych, I galloped briskly through the +gorges of the Terek and Darial, breakfasted in Kazbek, drank tea in +Lars, and arrived at Vladikavkaz in time for supper. I spare you a +description of the mountains, as well as exclamations which convey no +meaning, and word-paintings which convey no image--especially to +those who have never been in the Caucasus. I also omit statistical +observations, which I am quite sure nobody would read. + +I put up at the inn which is frequented by all who travel in those +parts, and where, by the way, there is no one you can order to roast +your pheasant and cook your cabbage-soup, because the three veterans +who have charge of the inn are either so stupid, or so drunk, that it is +impossible to knock any sense at all out of them. + +I was informed that I should have to stay there three days longer, +because the "Adventure" had not yet arrived from Ekaterinograd and +consequently could not start on the return journey. What a misadventure! +[18]... But a bad pun is no consolation to a Russian, and, for the sake +of something to occupy my thoughts, I took it into my head to write down +the story about Bela, which I had heard from Maksim Maksimych--never +imagining that it would be the first link in a long chain of novels: you +see how an insignificant event has sometimes dire results!... Perhaps, +however, you do not know what the "Adventure" is? It is a +convoy--composed of half a company of infantry, with a cannon--which +escorts baggage-trains through Kabardia from Vladikavkaz to +Ekaterinograd. + +The first day I found the time hang on my hands dreadfully. Early next +morning a vehicle drove into the courtyard... Aha! Maksim Maksimych!... +We met like a couple of old friends. I offered to share my own room with +him, and he accepted my hospitality without standing upon ceremony; he +even clapped me on the shoulder and puckered up his mouth by way of a +smile--a queer fellow, that!... + +Maksim Maksimych was profoundly versed in the culinary art. He roasted +the pheasant astonishingly well and basted it successfully with cucumber +sauce. I was obliged to acknowledge that, but for him, I should have had +to remain on a dry-food diet. A bottle of Kakhetian wine helped us to +forget the modest number of dishes--of which there was one, all told. +Then we lit our pipes, took our chairs, and sat down--I by the window, +and he by the stove, in which a fire had been lighted because the day +was damp and cold. We remained silent. What had we to talk about? He had +already told me all that was of interest about himself and I had nothing +to relate. I looked out of the window. Here and there, behind the trees, +I caught glimpses of a number of poor, low houses straggling along the +bank of the Terek, which flowed seaward in an ever-widening stream; +farther off rose the dark-blue, jagged wall of the mountains, behind +which Mount Kazbek gazed forth in his highpriest's hat of white. I took +a mental farewell of them; I felt sorry to leave them... + +Thus we sat for a considerable time. The sun was sinking behind the cold +summits and a whitish mist was beginning to spread over the valleys, +when the silence was broken by the jingling of the bell of a +travelling-carriage and the shouting of drivers in the street. A few +vehicles, accompanied by dirty Armenians, drove into the courtyard of +the inn, and behind them came an empty travelling-carriage. Its light +movement, comfortable arrangement, and elegant appearance gave it a kind +of foreign stamp. Behind it walked a man with large moustaches. He was +wearing a Hungarian jacket and was rather well dressed for a manservant. +From the bold manner in which he shook the ashes out of his pipe and +shouted at the coachman it was impossible to mistake his calling. He was +obviously the spoiled servant of an indolent master--something in the +nature of a Russian Figaro. + +"Tell me, my good man," I called to him out of the window. "What is +it?--Has the 'Adventure' arrived, eh?" + +He gave me a rather insolent glance, straightened his cravat, and turned +away. An Armenian, who was walking near him, smiled and answered for +him that the "Adventure" had, in fact, arrived, and would start on the +return journey the following morning. + +"Thank heavens!" said Maksim Maksimych, who had come up to the window at +that moment. "What a wonderful carriage!" he added; "probably it belongs +to some official who is going to Tiflis for a judicial inquiry. You can +see that he is unacquainted with our little mountains! No, my friend, +you're not serious! They are not for the like of you; why, they would +shake even an English carriage to bits!--But who could it be? Let us go +and find out." + +We went out into the corridor, at the end of which there was an open +door leading into a side room. The manservant and a driver were dragging +portmanteaux into the room. + +"I say, my man!" the staff-captain asked him: "Whose is that marvellous +carriage?--Eh?--A beautiful carriage!" + +Without turning round the manservant growled something to himself as he +undid a portmanteau. Maksim Maksimych grew angry. + +"I am speaking to you, my friend!" he said, touching the uncivil fellow +on the shoulder. + +"Whose carriage?--My master's." + +"And who is your master?" + +"Pechorin--" + +"What did you say? What? Pechorin?--Great Heavens!... Did he not serve +in the Caucasus?" exclaimed Maksim Maksimych, plucking me by the sleeve. +His eyes were sparkling with joy. + +"Yes, he served there, I think--but I have not been with him long." + +"Well! Just so!... Just so!... Grigori Aleksandrovich?... that is his +name, of course? Your master and I were friends," he added, giving the +manservant a friendly clap on the shoulder with such force as to cause +him to stagger. + +"Excuse me, sir, you are hindering me," said the latter, frowning. + +"What a fellow you are, my friend! Why, don't you know, your master and +I were bosom friends, and lived together?... But where has he put up?" + +The servant intimated that Pechorin had stayed to take supper and pass +the night at Colonel N----'s. + +"But won't he be looking in here in the evening?" said Maksim Maksimych. +"Or, you, my man, won't you be going over to him for something?... If +you do, tell him that Maksim Maksimych is here; just say that--he'll +know!--I'll give you half a ruble for a tip!" + +The manservant made a scornful face on hearing such a modest promise, +but he assured Maksim Maksimych that he would execute his commission. + +"He'll be sure to come running up directly!" said Maksim Maksimych, with +an air of triumph. "I will go outside the gate and wait for him! Ah, +it's a pity I am not acquainted with Colonel N----!" + +Maksim Maksimych sat down on a little bench outside the gate, and I +went to my room. I confess that I also was awaiting this Pechorin's +appearance with a certain amount of impatience--although, from the +staff-captain's story, I had formed a by no means favourable idea of +him. Still, certain traits in his character struck me as remarkable. In +an hour's time one of the old soldiers brought a steaming samovar and a +teapot. + +"Won't you have some tea, Maksim Maksimych?" I called out of the window. + +"Thank you. I am not thirsty, somehow." + +"Oh, do have some! It is late, you know, and cold!" + +"No, thank you"... + +"Well, just as you like!" + +I began my tea alone. About ten minutes afterwards my old captain came +in. + +"You are right, you know; it would be better to have a drop of tea--but +I was waiting for Pechorin. His man has been gone a long time now, but +evidently something has detained him." + +The staff-captain hurriedly sipped a cup of tea, refused a second, +and went off again outside the gate--not without a certain amount of +disquietude. It was obvious that the old man was mortified by Pechorin's +neglect, the more so because a short time previously he had been telling +me of their friendship, and up to an hour ago had been convinced that +Pechorin would come running up immediately on hearing his name. + +It was already late and dark when I opened the window again and began to +call Maksim Maksimych, saying that it was time to go to bed. He muttered +something through his teeth. I repeated my invitation--he made no +answer. + +I left a candle on the stove-seat, and, wrapping myself up in my cloak, +I lay down on the couch and soon fell into slumber; and I would have +slept on quietly had not Maksim Maksimych awakened me as he came into +the room. It was then very late. He threw his pipe on the table, began +to walk up and down the room, and to rattle about at the stove. At last +he lay down, but for a long time he kept coughing, spitting, and tossing +about. + +"The bugs are biting you, are they not?" I asked. + +"Yes, that is it," he answered, with a heavy sigh. + +I woke early the next morning, but Maksim Maksimych had anticipated me. +I found him sitting on the little bench at the gate. + +"I have to go to the Commandant," he said, "so, if Pechorin comes, +please send for me."... + +I gave my promise. He ran off as if his limbs had regained their +youthful strength and suppleness. + +The morning was fresh and lovely. Golden clouds had massed themselves on +the mountaintops like a new range of aerial mountains. Before the gate +a wide square spread out; behind it the bazaar was seething with people, +the day being Sunday. Barefooted Ossete boys, carrying wallets of +honeycomb on their shoulders, were hovering around me. I cursed them; +I had other things to think of--I was beginning to share the worthy +staff-captain's uneasiness. + +Before ten minutes had passed the man we were awaiting appeared at the +end of the square. He was walking with Colonel N., who accompanied him +as far as the inn, said good-bye to him, and then turned back to the +fortress. I immediately despatched one of the old soldiers for Maksim +Maksimych. + +Pechorin's manservant went out to meet him and informed him that they +were going to put to at once; he handed him a box of cigars, received +a few orders, and went off about his business. His master lit a cigar, +yawned once or twice, and sat down on the bench on the other side of the +gate. I must now draw his portrait for you. + +He was of medium height. His shapely, slim figure and broad shoulders +gave evidence of a strong constitution, capable of enduring all the +hardships of a nomad life and changes of climates, and of resisting with +success both the demoralising effects of life in the Capital and the +tempests of the soul. His velvet overcoat, which was covered with dust, +was fastened by the two lower buttons only, and exposed to view linen of +dazzling whiteness, which proved that he had the habits of a gentleman. +His gloves, soiled by travel, seemed as though made expressly for +his small, aristocratic hand, and when he took one glove off I was +astonished at the thinness of his pale fingers. His gait was careless +and indolent, but I noticed that he did not swing his arms--a sure sign +of a certain secretiveness of character. These remarks, however, are the +result of my own observations, and I have not the least desire to make +you blindly believe in them. When he was in the act of seating himself +on the bench his upright figure bent as if there was not a single bone +in his back. The attitude of his whole body was expressive of a +certain nervous weakness; he looked, as he sat, like one of Balzac's +thirty-year-old coquettes resting in her downy arm-chair after a +fatiguing ball. From my first glance at his face I should not have +supposed his age to be more than twenty-three, though afterwards I should +have put it down as thirty. His smile had something of a child-like +quality. His skin possessed a kind of feminine delicacy. His fair hair, +naturally curly, most picturesquely outlined his pale and noble brow, on +which it was only after lengthy observation that traces could be noticed +of wrinkles, intersecting each other: probably they showed up more +distinctly in moments of anger or mental disturbance. Notwithstanding +the light colour of his hair, his moustaches and eyebrows were black--a +sign of breeding in a man, just as a black mane and a black tail in a +white horse. To complete the portrait, I will add that he had a slightly +turned-up nose, teeth of dazzling whiteness, and brown eyes--I must say +a few words more about his eyes. + +In the first place, they never laughed when he laughed. Have you not +happened, yourself, to notice the same peculiarity in certain people?... +It is a sign either of an evil disposition or of deep and constant +grief. From behind his half-lowered eyelashes they shone with a kind +of phosphorescent gleam--if I may so express myself--which was not the +reflection of a fervid soul or of a playful fancy, but a glitter like to +that of smooth steel, blinding but cold. His glance--brief, but piercing +and heavy--left the unpleasant impression of an indiscreet question and +might have seemed insolent had it not been so unconcernedly tranquil. + +It may be that all these remarks came into my mind only after I had +known some details of his life, and it may be, too, that his appearance +would have produced an entirely different impression upon another; but, +as you will not hear of him from anyone except myself, you will have +to rest content, nolens volens, with the description I have given. +In conclusion, I will say that, speaking generally, he was a very +good-looking man, and had one of those original types of countenance +which are particularly pleasing to women. + +The horses were already put to; now and then the bell jingled on the +shaft-bow; [19] and the manservant had twice gone up to Pechorin with +the announcement that everything was ready, but still there was no sign +of Maksim Maksimych. Fortunately Pechorin was sunk in thought as he +gazed at the jagged, blue peaks of the Caucasus, and was apparently by +no means in a hurry for the road. + +I went up to him. + +"If you care to wait a little longer," I said, "you will have the +pleasure of meeting an old friend." + +"Oh, exactly!" he answered quickly. "They told me so yesterday. Where is +he, though?" + +I looked in the direction of the square and there I descried Maksim +Maksimych running as hard as he could. In a few moments he was beside +us. He was scarcely able to breathe; perspiration was rolling in large +drops from his face; wet tufts of grey hair, escaping from under his +cap, were glued to his forehead; his knees were shaking... He was about +to throw himself on Pechorin's neck, but the latter, rather coldly, +though with a smile of welcome, stretched out his hand to him. For +a moment the staff-captain was petrified, but then eagerly seized +Pechorin's hand in both his own. He was still unable to speak. + +"How glad I am to see you, my dear Maksim Maksimych! Well, how are you?" +said Pechorin. + +"And... thou... you?" [20] murmured the old man, with tears in his +eyes. "What an age it is since I have seen you!... But where are you off +to?"... + +"I am going to Persia--and farther."... + +"But surely not immediately?... Wait a little, my dear fellow!... Surely +we are not going to part at once?... What a long time it is since we +have seen each other!"... + +"It is time for me to go, Maksim Maksimych," was the reply. + +"Good heavens, good heavens! But where are you going to in such a hurry? +There was so much I should have liked to tell you! So much to question +you about!... Well, what of yourself? Have you retired?... What?... How +have you been getting along?" + +"Getting bored!" answered Pechorin, smiling. + +"You remember the life we led in the fortress? A splendid country for +hunting! You were awfully fond of shooting, you know!... And Bela?"... + +Pechorin turned just the slightest bit pale and averted his head. + +"Yes, I remember!" he said, almost immediately forcing a yawn. + +Maksim Maksimych began to beg him to stay with him for a couple of hours +or so longer. + +"We will have a splendid dinner," he said. "I have two pheasants; and +the Kakhetian wine is excellent here... not what it is in Georgia, of +course, but still of the best sort... We will have a talk... You will +tell me about your life in Petersburg... Eh?"... + +"In truth, there's nothing for me to tell, dear Maksim Maksimych... +However, good-bye, it is time for me to be off... I am in a hurry... +I thank you for not having forgotten me," he added, taking him by the +hand. + +The old man knit his brows. He was grieved and angry, although he tried +to hide his feelings. + +"Forget!" he growled. "I have not forgotten anything... Well, God be +with you!... It is not like this that I thought we should meet." + +"Come! That will do, that will do!" said Pechorin, giving him a friendly +embrace. "Is it possible that I am not the same as I used to be?... What +can we do? Everyone must go his own way... Are we ever going to meet +again?--God only knows!" + +While saying this he had taken his seat in the carriage, and the +coachman was already gathering up the reins. + +"Wait, wait!" cried Maksim Maksimych suddenly, holding on to the +carriage door. "I was nearly forgetting altogether. Your papers were +left with me, Grigori Aleksandrovich... I drag them about everywhere I +go... I thought I should find you in Georgia, but this is where it has +pleased Heaven that we should meet. What's to be done with them?"... + +"Whatever you like!" answered Pechorin. "Good-bye."... + +"So you are off to Persia?... But when will you return?" Maksim +Maksimych cried after him. + +By this time the carriage was a long way off, but Pechorin made a sign +with his hand which might be interpreted as meaning: + +"It is doubtful whether I shall return, and there is no reason, either, +why I should!" + +The jingle of the bell and the clatter of the wheels along the flinty +road had long ceased to be audible, but the poor old man still remained +standing in the same place, deep in thought. + +"Yes," he said at length, endeavouring to assume an air of indifference, +although from time to time a tear of vexation glistened on his +eyelashes. "Of course we were friends--well, but what are friends +nowadays?... What could I be to him? I'm not rich; I've no rank; and, +moreover, I'm not at all his match in years!--See what a dandy he +has become since he has been staying in Petersburg again!... What +a carriage!... What a quantity of luggage!... And such a haughty +manservant too!"... + +These words were pronounced with an ironical smile. + +"Tell me," he continued, turning to me, "what do you think of it? +Come, what the devil is he off to Persia for now?... Good Lord, it is +ridiculous--ridiculous!... But I always knew that he was a fickle man, +and one you could never rely on!... But, indeed, it is a pity that he +should come to a bad end... yet it can't be otherwise!... I always did +say that there is no good to be got out of a man who forgets his old +friends!"... + +Hereupon he turned away in order to hide his agitation and proceeded to +walk about the courtyard, around his cart, pretending to be examining +the wheels, whilst his eyes kept filling with tears every moment. + +"Maksim Maksimych," I said, going up to him, "what papers are these that +Pechorin left you?" + +"Goodness knows! Notes of some sort"... + +"What will you do with them?" + +"What? I'll have cartridges made of them." + +"Hand them over to me instead." + +He looked at me in surprise, growled something through his teeth, and +began to rummage in his portmanteau. Out he drew a writing-book and +threw it contemptuously on the ground; then a second--a third--a tenth +shared the same fate. There was something childish in his vexation, and +it struck me as ridiculous and pitiable... + +"Here they are," he said. "I congratulate you on your find!"... + +"And I may do anything I like with them?" + +"Yes, print them in the newspapers, if you like. What is it to me? Am +I a friend or relation of his? It is true that for a long time we lived +under one roof... but aren't there plenty of people with whom I have +lived?"... + +I seized the papers and lost no time in carrying them away, fearing that +the staff-captain might repent his action. Soon somebody came to tell +us that the "Adventure" would set off in an hour's time. I ordered the +horses to be put to. + +I had already put my cap on when the staff-captain entered the room. +Apparently he had not got ready for departure. His manner was somewhat +cold and constrained. + +"You are not going, then, Maksim Maksimych?" + +"No, sir!" + +"But why not?" + +"Well, I have not seen the Commandant yet, and I have to deliver some +Government things." + +"But you did go, you know." + +"I did, of course," he stammered, "but he was not at home... and I did +not wait." + +I understood. For the first time in his life, probably, the poor old man +had, to speak by the book, thrown aside official business 'for the sake +of his personal requirements'... and how he had been rewarded! + +"I am very sorry, Maksim Maksimych, very sorry indeed," I said, "that we +must part sooner than necessary." + +"What should we rough old men be thinking of to run after you? You young +men are fashionable and proud: under the Circassian bullets you are +friendly enough with us... but when you meet us afterwards you are +ashamed even to give us your hand!" + +"I have not deserved these reproaches, Maksim Maksimych." + +"Well, but you know I'm quite right. However, I wish you all good luck +and a pleasant journey." + +We took a rather cold farewell of each other. The kind-hearted Maksim +Maksimych had become the obstinate, cantankerous staff-captain! And why? +Because Pechorin, through absent-mindedness or from some other cause, +had extended his hand to him when Maksim Maksimych was going to throw +himself on his neck! Sad it is to see when a young man loses his best +hopes and dreams, when from before his eyes is withdrawn the rose-hued +veil through which he has looked upon the deeds and feelings of mankind; +although there is the hope that the old illusions will be replaced by +new ones, none the less evanescent, but, on the other hand, none the +less sweet. But wherewith can they be replaced when one is at the age +of Maksim Maksimych? Do what you will, the heart hardens and the soul +shrinks in upon itself. + +I departed--alone. + + + + +FOREWORD TO BOOKS III, IV, AND V + + +CONCERNING PECHORIN'S DIARY + +I LEARNED not long ago that Pechorin had died on his way back from +Persia. The news afforded me great delight; it gave me the right to +print these notes; and I have taken advantage of the opportunity of +putting my name at the head of another person's productions. Heaven +grant that my readers may not punish me for such an innocent deception! + +I must now give some explanation of the reasons which have induced me to +betray to the public the inmost secrets of a man whom I never knew. If I +had even been his friend, well and good: the artful indiscretion of the +true friend is intelligible to everybody; but I only saw Pechorin +once in my life--on the high-road--and, consequently, I cannot cherish +towards him that inexplicable hatred, which, hiding its face under the +mask of friendship, awaits but the death or misfortune of the beloved +object to burst over its head in a storm of reproaches, admonitions, +scoffs and regrets. + +On reading over these notes, I have become convinced of the sincerity +of the man who has so unsparingly exposed to view his own weaknesses and +vices. The history of a man's soul, even the pettiest soul, is hardly +less interesting and useful than the history of a whole people; +especially when the former is the result of the observations of a mature +mind upon itself, and has been written without any egoistical desire of +arousing sympathy or astonishment. Rousseau's Confessions has precisely +this defect--he read it to his friends. + +And, so, it is nothing but the desire to be useful that has constrained +me to print fragments of this diary which fell into my hands by chance. +Although I have altered all the proper names, those who are mentioned +in it will probably recognise themselves, and, it may be, will find some +justification for actions for which they have hitherto blamed a man who +has ceased henceforth to have anything in common with this world. We +almost always excuse that which we understand. + +I have inserted in this book only those portions of the diary which +refer to Pechorin's sojourn in the Caucasus. There still remains in +my hands a thick writing-book in which he tells the story of his whole +life. Some time or other that, too, will present itself before the +tribunal of the world, but, for many and weighty reasons, I do not +venture to take such a responsibility upon myself now. + +Possibly some readers would like to know my own opinion of Pechorin's +character. My answer is: the title of this book. "But that is malicious +irony!" they will say... I know not. + + + + + +BOOK III THE FIRST EXTRACT FROM PECHORIN'S DIARY + + + + +TAMAN + +TAMAN is the nastiest little hole of all the seaports of Russia. I was +all but starved there, to say nothing of having a narrow escape of being +drowned. + +I arrived late at night by the post-car. The driver stopped the tired +troika [21] at the gate of the only stone-built house that stood at the +entrance to the town. The sentry, a Cossack from the Black Sea, hearing +the jingle of the bell, cried out, sleepily, in his barbarous voice, +"Who goes there?" An under-officer of Cossacks and a headborough [22] +came out. I explained that I was an officer bound for the active-service +detachment on Government business, and I proceeded to demand official +quarters. The headborough conducted us round the town. Whatever hut we +drove up to we found to be occupied. The weather was cold; I had not +slept for three nights; I was tired out, and I began to lose my temper. + +"Take me somewhere or other, you scoundrel!" I cried; "to the devil +himself, so long as there's a place to put up at!" + +"There is one other lodging," answered the headborough, scratching his +head. "Only you won't like it, sir. It is uncanny!" + +Failing to grasp the exact signification of the last phrase, I ordered +him to go on, and, after a lengthy peregrination through muddy byways, +at the sides of which I could see nothing but old fences, we drove up to +a small cabin, right on the shore of the sea. + +The full moon was shining on the little reed-thatched roof and the white +walls of my new dwelling. In the courtyard, which was surrounded by a +wall of rubble-stone, there stood another miserable hovel, smaller and +older than the first and all askew. The shore descended precipitously +to the sea, almost from its very walls, and down below, with incessant +murmur, plashed the dark-blue waves. The moon gazed softly upon the +watery element, restless but obedient to it, and I was able by its light +to distinguish two ships lying at some distance from the shore, their +black rigging motionless and standing out, like cobwebs, against the +pale line of the horizon. + +"There are vessels in the harbour," I said to myself. "To-morrow I will +set out for Gelenjik." + +I had with me, in the capacity of soldier-servant, a Cossack of the +frontier army. Ordering him to take down the portmanteau and dismiss +the driver, I began to call the master of the house. No answer! I +knocked--all was silent within!... What could it mean? At length a boy +of about fourteen crept out from the hall. + +"Where is the master?" + +"There isn't one." + +"What! No master?" + +"None!" + +"And the mistress?" + +"She has gone off to the village." + +"Who will open the door for me, then?" I said, giving it a kick. + +The door opened of its own accord, and a breath of moisture-laden air +was wafted from the hut. I struck a lucifer match and held it to the +boy's face. It lit up two white eyes. He was totally blind, obviously so +from birth. He stood stock-still before me, and I began to examine his +features. + +I confess that I have a violent prejudice against all blind, one-eyed, +deaf, dumb, legless, armless, hunchbacked, and such-like people. I have +observed that there is always a certain strange connection between a +man's exterior and his soul; as, if when the body loses a limb, the soul +also loses some power of feeling. + +And so I began to examine the blind boy's face. But what could be read +upon a face from which the eyes are missing?... For a long time I gazed +at him with involuntary compassion, when suddenly a scarcely perceptible +smile flitted over his thin lips, producing, I know not why, a most +unpleasant impression upon me. I began to feel a suspicion that the +blind boy was not so blind as he appeared to be. In vain I endeavoured +to convince myself that it was impossible to counterfeit cataracts; and +besides, what reason could there be for doing such a thing? But I could +not help my suspicions. I am easily swayed by prejudice... + +"You are the master's son?" I asked at length. + +"No." + +"Who are you, then?" + +"An orphan--a poor boy." + +"Has the mistress any children?" + +"No, her daughter ran away and crossed the sea with a Tartar." + +"What sort of a Tartar?" + +"The devil only knows! A Crimean Tartar, a boatman from Kerch." + +I entered the hut. Its whole furniture consisted of two benches and a +table, together with an enormous chest beside the stove. There was not +a single ikon to be seen on the wall--a bad sign! The sea-wind burst +in through the broken window-pane. I drew a wax candle-end from my +portmanteau, lit it, and began to put my things out. My sabre and gun +I placed in a corner, my pistols I laid on the table. I spread my felt +cloak out on one bench, and the Cossack his on the other. In ten minutes +the latter was snoring, but I could not go to sleep--the image of the +boy with the white eyes kept hovering before me in the dark. + +About an hour passed thus. The moon shone in at the window and its rays +played along the earthen floor of the hut. Suddenly a shadow flitted +across the bright strip of moonshine which intersected the floor. I +raised myself up a little and glanced out of the window. Again somebody +ran by it and disappeared--goodness knows where! It seemed impossible +for anyone to descend the steep cliff overhanging the shore, but that +was the only thing that could have happened. I rose, threw on my tunic, +girded on a dagger, and with the utmost quietness went out of the hut. +The blind boy was coming towards me. I hid by the fence, and he passed +by me with a sure but cautious step. He was carrying a parcel under +his arm. He turned towards the harbour and began to descend a steep and +narrow path. + +"On that day the dumb will cry out and the blind will see," I said to +myself, following him just close enough to keep him in sight. + +Meanwhile the moon was becoming overcast by clouds and a mist had risen +upon the sea. The lantern alight in the stern of a ship close at hand +was scarcely visible through the mist, and by the shore there glimmered +the foam of the waves, which every moment threatened to submerge it. +Descending with difficulty, I stole along the steep declivity, and all +at once I saw the blind boy come to a standstill and then turn down to +the right. He walked so close to the water's edge that it seemed as if +the waves would straightway seize him and carry him off. But, judging by +the confidence with which he stepped from rock to rock and avoided the +water-channels, this was evidently not the first time that he had made +that journey. Finally he stopped, as though listening for something, +squatted down upon the ground, and laid the parcel beside him. +Concealing myself behind a projecting rock on the shore, I kept watch +on his movements. After a few minutes a white figure made its appearance +from the opposite direction. It came up to the blind boy and sat down +beside him. At times the wind wafted their conversation to me. + +"Well?" said a woman's voice. "The storm is violent; Yanko will not be +here." + +"Yanko is not afraid of the storm!" the other replied. + +"The mist is thickening," rejoined the woman's voice, sadness in its +tone. + +"In the mist it is all the easier to slip past the guardships," was the +answer. + +"And if he is drowned?" + +"Well, what then? On Sunday you won't have a new ribbon to go to church +in." + +An interval of silence followed. One thing, however, struck me--in +talking to me the blind boy spoke in the Little Russian dialect, but now +he was expressing himself in pure Russian. + +"You see, I am right!" the blind boy went on, clapping his hands. "Yanko +is not afraid of sea, nor winds, nor mist, nor coastguards! Just listen! +That is not the water plashing, you can't deceive me--it is his long +oars." + +The woman sprang up and began anxiously to gaze into the distance. + +"You are raving!" she said. "I cannot see anything." + +I confess that, much as I tried to make out in the distance something +resembling a boat, my efforts were unsuccessful. About ten minutes +passed thus, when a black speck appeared between the mountains of the +waves! At one time it grew larger, at another smaller. Slowly rising +upon the crests of the waves and swiftly descending from them, the boat +drew near to the shore. + +"He must be a brave sailor," I thought, "to have determined to cross +the twenty versts of strait on a night like this, and he must have had a +weighty reason for doing so." + +Reflecting thus, I gazed with an involuntary beating of the heart at +the poor boat. It dived like a duck, and then, with rapidly swinging +oars--like wings--it sprang forth from the abyss amid the splashes of +the foam. "Ah!" I thought, "it will be dashed against the shore with all +its force and broken to pieces!" But it turned aside adroitly and leaped +unharmed into a little creek. Out of it stepped a man of medium height, +wearing a Tartar sheepskin cap. He waved his hand, and all three set to +work to drag something out of the boat. The cargo was so large that, to +this day, I cannot understand how it was that the boat did not sink. + +Each of them shouldered a bundle, and they set off along the shore, and +I soon lost sight of them. I had to return home; but I confess I was +rendered uneasy by all these strange happenings, and I found it hard to +await the morning. + +My Cossack was very much astonished when, on waking up, he saw me fully +dressed. I did not, however, tell him the reason. For some time I stood +at the window, gazing admiringly at the blue sky all studded with wisps +of cloud, and at the distant shore of the Crimea, stretching out in a +lilac-coloured streak and ending in a cliff, on the summit of which the +white tower of the lighthouse was gleaming. Then I betook myself to the +fortress, Phanagoriya, in order to ascertain from the Commandant at what +hour I should depart for Gelenjik. + +But the Commandant, alas! could not give me any definite information. +The vessels lying in the harbour were all either guard-ships or +merchant-vessels which had not yet even begun to take in lading. + +"Maybe in about three or four days' time a mail-boat will come in," said +the Commandant, "and then we shall see." + +I returned home sulky and wrathful. My Cossack met me at the door with a +frightened countenance. + +"Things are looking bad, sir!" he said. + +"Yes, my friend; goodness only knows when we shall get away!" + +Hereupon he became still more uneasy, and, bending towards me, he said +in a whisper: + +"It is uncanny here! I met an under-officer from the Black Sea +to-day--he's an acquaintance of mine--he was in my detachment last year. +When I told him where we were staying, he said, 'That place is uncanny, +old fellow; they're wicked people there!'... And, indeed, what sort of +a blind boy is that? He goes everywhere alone, to fetch water and to buy +bread at the bazaar. It is evident they have become accustomed to that +sort of thing here." + +"Well, what then? Tell me, though, has the mistress of the place put in +an appearance?" + +"During your absence to-day, an old woman and her daughter arrived." + +"What daughter? She has no daughter!" + +"Goodness knows who it can be if it isn't her daughter; but the old +woman is sitting over there in the hut now." + +I entered the hovel. A blazing fire was burning in the stove, and they +were cooking a dinner which struck me as being a rather luxurious one +for poor people. To all my questions the old woman replied that she was +deaf and could not hear me. There was nothing to be got out of her. I +turned to the blind boy who was sitting in front of the stove, putting +twigs into the fire. + +"Now, then, you little blind devil," I said, taking him by the ear. +"Tell me, where were you roaming with the bundle last night, eh?" + +The blind boy suddenly burst out weeping, shrieking and wailing. + +"Where did I go? I did not go anywhere... With the bundle?... What +bundle?" + +This time the old woman heard, and she began to mutter: + +"Hark at them plotting, and against a poor boy too! What are you +touching him for? What has he done to you?" + +I had enough of it, and went out, firmly resolved to find the key to the +riddle. + +I wrapped myself up in my felt cloak and, sitting down on a rock by the +fence, gazed into the distance. Before me stretched the sea, agitated +by the storm of the previous night, and its monotonous roar, like the +murmur of a town over which slumber is beginning to creep, recalled +bygone years to my mind, and transported my thoughts northward to our +cold Capital. Agitated by my recollections, I became oblivious of my +surroundings. + +About an hour passed thus, perhaps even longer. Suddenly something +resembling a song struck upon my ear. It was a song, and the voice was a +woman's, young and fresh--but, where was it coming from?... I listened; +it was a harmonious melody--now long-drawnout and plaintive, now swift +and lively. I looked around me--there was nobody to be seen. I listened +again--the sounds seemed to be falling from the sky. I raised my eyes. +On the roof of my cabin was standing a young girl in a striped dress +and with her hair hanging loose--a regular water-nymph. Shading her eyes +from the sun's rays with the palm of her hand, she was gazing intently +into the distance. At one time, she would laugh and talk to herself, at +another, she would strike up her song anew. + +I have retained that song in my memory, word for word: + + + At their own free will + + They seem to wander + + O'er the green sea yonder, + + Those ships, as still + + They are onward going, + + With white sails flowing. + + + And among those ships + + My eye can mark + + My own dear barque: + + By two oars guided + + (All unprovided + + With sails) it slips. + + + The storm-wind raves: + + And the old ships--see! + + With wings spread free, + + Over the waves + + They scatter and flee! + + + The sea I will hail + + With obeisance deep: + + "Thou base one, hark! + + Thou must not fail + + My little barque + + From harm to keep!" + + + For lo! 'tis bearing + + Most precious gear, + + And brave and daring + + The arms that steer + + Within the dark + + My little barque. + + +Involuntarily the thought occurred to me that I had heard the same voice +the night before. I reflected for a moment, and when I looked up at the +roof again there was no girl to be seen. Suddenly she darted past me, +with another song on her lips, and, snapping her fingers, she ran up +to the old woman. Thereupon a quarrel arose between them. The old +woman grew angry, and the girl laughed loudly. And then I saw my Undine +running and gambolling again. She came up to where I was, stopped, and +gazed fixedly into my face as if surprised at my presence. Then she +turned carelessly away and went quietly towards the harbour. But this +was not all. The whole day she kept hovering around my lodging, singing +and gambolling without a moment's interruption. Strange creature! There +was not the slightest sign of insanity in her face; on the contrary, her +eyes, which were continually resting upon me, were bright and piercing. +Moreover, they seemed to be endowed with a certain magnetic power, and +each time they looked at me they appeared to be expecting a question. +But I had only to open my lips to speak, and away she would run, with a +sly smile. + +Certainly never before had I seen a woman like her. She was by no means +beautiful; but, as in other matters, I have my own prepossessions on the +subject of beauty. There was a good deal of breeding in her... Breeding +in women, as in horses, is a great thing: a discovery, the credit of +which belongs to young France. It--that is to say, breeding, not young +France--is chiefly to be detected in the gait, in the hands and feet; +the nose, in particular, is of the greatest significance. In Russia a +straight nose is rarer than a small foot. + +My songstress appeared to be not more than eighteen years of age. The +unusual suppleness of her figure, the characteristic and original way +she had of inclining her head, her long, light-brown hair, the golden +sheen of her slightly sunburnt neck and shoulders, and especially her +straight nose--all these held me fascinated. Although in her sidelong +glances I could read a certain wildness and disdain, although in +her smile there was a certain vagueness, yet--such is the force of +predilections--that straight nose of hers drove me crazy. I fancied +that I had found Goethe's Mignon--that queer creature of his German +imagination. And, indeed, there was a good deal of similarity between +them; the same rapid transitions from the utmost restlessness to +complete immobility, the same enigmatical speeches, the same gambols, +the same strange songs. + +Towards evening I stopped her at the door and entered into the following +conversation with her. + +"Tell me, my beauty," I asked, "what were you doing on the roof to-day?" + +"I was looking to see from what direction the wind was blowing." + +"What did you want to know for?" + +"Whence the wind blows comes happiness." + +"Well? Were you invoking happiness with your song?" + +"Where there is singing there is also happiness." + +"But what if your song were to bring you sorrow?" + +"Well, what then? Where things won't be better, they will be worse; and +from bad to good again is not far." + +"And who taught you that song?" + +"Nobody taught me; it comes into my head and I sing; whoever is to +hear it, he will hear it, and whoever ought not to hear it, he will not +understand it." + +"What is your name, my songstress?" + +"He who baptized me knows." + +"And who baptized you?" + +"How should I know?" + +"What a secretive girl you are! But look here, I have learned something +about you"--she neither changed countenance nor moved her lips, as +though my discovery was of no concern to her--"I have learned that you +went to the shore last night." + +And, thereupon, I very gravely retailed to her all that I had seen, +thinking that I should embarrass her. Not a bit of it! She burst out +laughing heartily. + +"You have seen much, but know little; and what you do know, see that you +keep it under lock and key." + +"But supposing, now, I was to take it into my head to inform the +Commandant?" and here I assumed a very serious, not to say stern, +demeanour. + +She gave a sudden spring, began to sing, and hid herself like a bird +frightened out of a thicket. My last words were altogether out of place. +I had no suspicion then how momentous they were, but afterwards I had +occasion to rue them. + +As soon as the dusk of evening fell, I ordered the Cossack to heat the +teapot, campaign fashion. I lighted a candle and sat down by the table, +smoking my travelling-pipe. I was just about to finish my second tumbler +of tea when suddenly the door creaked and I heard behind me the sound of +footsteps and the light rustle of a dress. I started and turned round. + +It was she--my Undine. Softly and without saying a word she sat down +opposite to me and fixed her eyes upon me. Her glance seemed wondrously +tender, I know not why; it reminded me of one of those glances which, +in years gone by, so despotically played with my life. She seemed to be +waiting for a question, but I kept silence, filled with an inexplicable +sense of embarrassment. Mental agitation was evinced by the dull +pallor which overspread her countenance; her hand, which I noticed was +trembling slightly, moved aimlessly about the table. At one time her +breast heaved, and at another she seemed to be holding her breath. This +little comedy was beginning to pall upon me, and I was about to break +the silence in a most prosaic manner, that is, by offering her a glass +of tea; when suddenly, springing up, she threw her arms around my neck, +and I felt her moist, fiery lips pressed upon mine. Darkness came before +my eyes, my head began to swim. I embraced her with the whole strength +of youthful passion. But, like a snake, she glided from between my arms, +whispering in my ear as she did so: + +"To-night, when everyone is asleep, go out to the shore." + +Like an arrow she sprang from the room. + +In the hall she upset the teapot and a candle which was standing on the +floor. + +"Little devil!" cried the Cossack, who had taken up his position on the +straw and had contemplated warming himself with the remains of the tea. + +It was only then that I recovered my senses. + +In about two hours' time, when all had grown silent in the harbour, I +awakened my Cossack. + +"If I fire a pistol," I said, "run to the shore." + +He stared open-eyed and answered mechanically: + +"Very well, sir." + +I stuffed a pistol in my belt and went out. She was waiting for me +at the edge of the cliff. Her attire was more than light, and a small +kerchief girded her supple waist. + +"Follow me!" she said, taking me by the hand, and we began to descend. + +I cannot understand how it was that I did not break my neck. Down below +we turned to the right and proceeded to take the path along which I had +followed the blind boy the evening before. The moon had not yet risen, +and only two little stars, like two guardian lighthouses, were twinkling +in the dark-blue vault of heaven. The heavy waves, with measured and +even motion, rolled one after the other, scarcely lifting the solitary +boat which was moored to the shore. + +"Let us get into the boat," said my companion. + +I hesitated. I am no lover of sentimental trips on the sea; but this was +not the time to draw back. She leaped into the boat, and I after her; +and I had not time to recover my wits before I observed that we were +adrift. + +"What is the meaning of this?" I said angrily. + +"It means," she answered, seating me on the bench and throwing her arms +around my waist, "it means that I love you!"... + +Her cheek was pressed close to mine, and I felt her burning breath upon +my face. Suddenly something fell noisily into the water. I clutched at +my belt--my pistol was gone! Ah, now a terrible suspicion crept into +my soul, and the blood rushed to my head! I looked round. We were about +fifty fathoms from the shore, and I could not swim a stroke! I tried +to thrust her away from me, but she clung like a cat to my clothes, +and suddenly a violent wrench all but threw me into the sea. The boat +rocked, but I righted myself, and a desperate struggle began. + +Fury lent me strength, but I soon found that I was no match for my +opponent in point of agility... + +"What do you want?" I cried, firmly squeezing her little hands. + +Her fingers crunched, but her serpent-like nature bore up against the +torture, and she did not utter a cry. + +"You saw us," she answered. "You will tell on us." + +And, with a supernatural effort, she flung me on to the side of the +boat; we both hung half overboard; her hair touched the water. The +decisive moment had come. I planted my knee against the bottom of the +boat, caught her by the tresses with one hand and by the throat with the +other; she let go my clothes, and, in an instant, I had thrown her into +the waves. + +It was now rather dark; once or twice her head appeared for an instant +amidst the sea foam, and I saw no more of her. + +I found the half of an old oar at the bottom of the boat, and somehow or +other, after lengthy efforts, I made fast to the harbour. Making my way +along the shore towards my hut, I involuntarily gazed in the direction +of the spot where, on the previous night, the blind boy had awaited the +nocturnal mariner. The moon was already rolling through the sky, and it +seemed to me that somebody in white was sitting on the shore. Spurred by +curiosity, I crept up and crouched down in the grass on the top of the +cliff. By thrusting my head out a little way I was able to get a good +view of everything that was happening down below, and I was not very +much astonished, but almost rejoiced, when I recognised my water-nymph. +She was wringing the seafoam from her long hair. Her wet garment +outlined her supple figure and her high bosom. + +Soon a boat appeared in the distance; it drew near rapidly; and, as on +the night before, a man in a Tartar cap stepped out of it, but he now +had his hair cropped round in the Cossack fashion, and a large knife was +sticking out behind his leather belt. + +"Yanko," the girl said, "all is lost!" + +Then their conversation continued, but so softly that I could not catch +a word of it. + +"But where is the blind boy?" said Yanko at last, raising his voice. + +"I have told him to come," was the reply. + +After a few minutes the blind boy appeared, dragging on his back a sack, +which they placed in the boat. + +"Listen!" said Yanko to the blind boy. "Guard that place! You know where +I mean? There are valuable goods there. Tell"--I could not catch the +name--"that I am no longer his servant. Things have gone badly. He will +see me no more. It is dangerous now. I will go seek work in another +place, and he will never be able to find another dare-devil like me. +Tell him also that if he had paid me a little better for my labours, I +would not have forsaken him. For me there is a way anywhere, if only the +wind blows and the sea roars." + +After a short silence Yanko continued. + +"She is coming with me. It is impossible for her to remain here. Tell +the old woman that it is time for her to die; she has been here a long +time, and the line must be drawn somewhere. As for us, she will never +see us any more." + +"And I?" said the blind boy in a plaintive voice. + +"What use have I for you?" was the answer. + +In the meantime my Undine had sprung into the boat. She beckoned to her +companion with her hand. He placed something in the blind boy's hand and +added: + +"There, buy yourself some gingerbreads." + +"Is this all?" said the blind boy. + +"Well, here is some more." + +The money fell and jingled as it struck the rock. + +The blind boy did not pick it up. Yanko took his seat in the boat; the +wind was blowing from the shore; they hoisted the little sail and sped +rapidly away. For a long time the white sail gleamed in the moonlight +amid the dark waves. Still the blind boy remained seated upon the shore, +and then I heard something which sounded like sobbing. The blind boy +was, in fact, weeping, and for a long, long time his tears flowed... I +grew heavy-hearted. For what reason should fate have thrown me into the +peaceful circle of honourable smugglers? Like a stone cast into a smooth +well, I had disturbed their quietude, and I barely escaped going to the +bottom like a stone. + +I returned home. In the hall the burnt-out candle was spluttering on +a wooden platter, and my Cossack, contrary to orders, was fast asleep, +with his gun held in both hands. I left him at rest, took the candle, +and entered the hut. Alas! my cashbox, my sabre with the silver chasing, +my Daghestan dagger--the gift of a friend--all had vanished! It was +then that I guessed what articles the cursed blind boy had been dragging +along. Roughly shaking the Cossack, I woke him up, rated him, and lost +my temper. But what was the good of that? And would it not have been +ridiculous to complain to the authorities that I had been robbed by a +blind boy and all but drowned by an eighteen-year-old girl? + +Thank heaven an opportunity of getting away presented itself in the +morning, and I left Taman. + +What became of the old woman and the poor blind boy I know not. +And, besides, what are the joys and sorrows of mankind to me--me, a +travelling officer, and one, moreover, with an order for post-horses on +Government business? + + + + + +BOOK IV THE SECOND EXTRACT FROM PECHORIN'S DIARY + +THE FATALIST + +I ONCE happened to spend a couple of weeks in a Cossack village on our +left flank. A battalion of infantry was stationed there; and it was the +custom of the officers to meet at each other's quarters in turn and play +cards in the evening. + +On one occasion--it was at Major S----'s--finding our game of Boston not +sufficiently absorbing, we threw the cards under the table and sat +on for a long time, talking. The conversation, for once in a way, was +interesting. The subject was the Mussulman tradition that a man's fate +is written in heaven, and we discussed the fact that it was gaining many +votaries, even amongst our own countrymen. Each of us related various +extraordinary occurrences, pro or contra. + +"What you have been saying, gentlemen, proves nothing," said the old +major. "I presume there is not one of you who has actually been a +witness of the strange events which you are citing in support of your +opinions?" + +"Not one, of course," said many of the guests. "But we have heard of +them from trustworthy people."... + +"It is all nonsense!" someone said. "Where are the trustworthy people +who have seen the Register in which the appointed hour of our death is +recorded?... And if predestination really exists, why are free will +and reason granted us? Why are we obliged to render an account of our +actions?" + +At that moment an officer who was sitting in a corner of the room stood +up, and, coming slowly to the table, surveyed us all with a quiet and +solemn glance. He was a native of Servia, as was evident from his name. + +The outward appearance of Lieutenant Vulich was quite in keeping with +his character. His height, swarthy complexion, black hair, piercing +black eyes, large but straight nose--an attribute of his nation--and the +cold and melancholy smile which ever hovered around his lips, all seemed +to concur in lending him the appearance of a man apart, incapable of +reciprocating the thoughts and passions of those whom fate gave him for +companions. + +He was brave; talked little, but sharply; confided his thoughts and +family secrets to no one; drank hardly a drop of wine; and never dangled +after the young Cossack girls, whose charm it is difficult to realise +without having seen them. It was said, however, that the colonel's +wife was not indifferent to those expressive eyes of his; but he was +seriously angry if any hint on the subject was made. + +There was only one passion which he did not conceal--the passion for +gambling. At the green table he would become oblivious of everything. He +usually lost, but his constant ill success only aroused his obstinacy. +It was related that, on one occasion, during a nocturnal expedition, +he was keeping the bank on a pillow, and had a terrific run of luck. +Suddenly shots rang out. The alarm was sounded; all but Vulich jumped up +and rushed to arms. + +"Stake, va banque!" he cried to one of the most ardent gamblers. + +"Seven," the latter answered as he hurried off. + +Notwithstanding the general confusion, Vulich calmly finished the +deal--seven was the card. By the time he reached the cordon a violent +fusillade was in progress. Vulich did not trouble himself about the +bullets or the sabres of the Chechenes, but sought for the lucky +gambler. + +"Seven it was!" he cried out, as at length he perceived him in the +cordon of skirmishers who were beginning to dislodge the enemy from the +wood; and going up to him, he drew out his purse and pocket-book and +handed them to the winner, notwithstanding the latter's objections on +the score of the inconvenience of the payment. That unpleasant duty +discharged, Vulich dashed forward, carried the soldiers along after him, +and, to the very end of the affair, fought the Chechenes with the utmost +coolness. + +When Lieutenant Vulich came up to the table, we all became silent, +expecting to hear, as usual, something original. + +"Gentlemen!" he said--and his voice was quiet though lower in tone than +usual--"gentlemen, what is the good of futile discussions? You wish for +proofs? I propose that we try the experiment on ourselves: whether a man +can of his own accord dispose of his life, or whether the fateful moment +is appointed beforehand for each of us. Who is agreeable?" + +"Not I. Not I," came from all sides. + +"There's a queer fellow for you! He does get strange ideas into his +head!" + +"I propose a wager," I said in jest. + +"What sort of wager?" + +"I maintain that there is no such thing as predestination," I said, +scattering on the table a score or so of ducats--all I had in my pocket. + +"Done," answered Vulich in a hollow voice. "Major, you will be judge. +Here are fifteen ducats, the remaining five you owe me, kindly add them +to the others." + +"Very well," said the major; "though, indeed, I do not understand what +is the question at issue and how you will decide it!" + +Without a word Vulich went into the major's bedroom, and we followed +him. He went up to the wall on which the major's weapons were hanging, +and took down at random one of the pistols--of which there were several +of different calibres. We were still in the dark as to what he meant +to do. But, when he cocked the pistol and sprinkled powder in the pan, +several of the officers, crying out in spite of themselves, seized him +by the arms. + +"What are you going to do?" they exclaimed. "This is madness!" + +"Gentlemen!" he said slowly, disengaging his arm. "Who would like to pay +twenty ducats for me?" + +They were silent and drew away. + +Vulich went into the other room and sat by the table; we all followed +him. With a sign he invited us to sit round him. We obeyed in +silence--at that moment he had acquired a certain mysterious authority +over us. I stared fixedly into his face; but he met my scrutinising +gaze with a quiet and steady glance, and his pallid lips smiled. But, +notwithstanding his composure, it seemed to me that I could read the +stamp of death upon his pale countenance. I have noticed--and many old +soldiers have corroborated my observation--that a man who is to die in +a few hours frequently bears on his face a certain strange stamp of +inevitable fate, so that it is difficult for practised eyes to be +mistaken. + +"You will die to-day!" I said to Vulich. + +He turned towards me rapidly, but answered slowly and quietly: + +"May be so, may be not."... + +Then, addressing himself to the major, he asked: + +"Is the pistol loaded?" + +The major, in the confusion, could not quite remember. + +"There, that will do, Vulich!" exclaimed somebody. "Of course it must be +loaded, if it was one of those hanging on the wall there over our heads. +What a man you are for joking!" + +"A silly joke, too!" struck in another. + +"I wager fifty rubles to five that the pistol is not loaded!" cried a +third. + +A new bet was made. + +I was beginning to get tired of it all. + +"Listen," I said, "either shoot yourself, or hang up the pistol in its +place and let us go to bed." + +"Yes, of course!" many exclaimed. "Let us go to bed." + +"Gentlemen, I beg of you not to move," said Vulich, putting the muzzle +of the pistol to his forehead. + +We were all petrified. + +"Mr. Pechorin," he added, "take a card and throw it up in the air." + +I took, as I remember now, an ace of hearts off the table and threw +it into the air. All held their breath. With eyes full of terror and +a certain vague curiosity they glanced rapidly from the pistol to the +fateful ace, which slowly descended, quivering in the air. At the moment +it touched the table Vulich pulled the trigger... a flash in the pan! + +"Thank God!" many exclaimed. "It wasn't loaded!" + +"Let us see, though," said Vulich. + +He cocked the pistol again, and took aim at a forage-cap which was +hanging above the window. A shot rang out. Smoke filled the room; when +it cleared away, the forage-cap was taken down. It had been shot right +through the centre, and the bullet was deeply embedded in the wall. + +For two or three minutes no one was able to utter a word. Very quietly +Vulich poured my ducats from the major's purse into his own. + +Discussions arose as to why the pistol had not gone off the first +time. Some maintained that probably the pan had been obstructed; others +whispered that the powder had been damp the first time, and that, +afterwards, Vulich had sprinkled some fresh powder on it; but I +maintained that the last supposition was wrong, because I had not once +taken my eyes off the pistol. + +"You are lucky at play!" I said to Vulich... + +"For the first time in my life!" he answered, with a complacent smile. +"It is better than 'bank' and 'shtoss.'" [23] + +"But, on the other hand, slightly more dangerous!" + +"Well? Have you begun to believe in predestination?" + +"I do believe in it; only I cannot understand now why it appeared to me +that you must inevitably die to-day!" + +And this same man, who, such a short time before, had with the greatest +calmness aimed a pistol at his own forehead, now suddenly fired up and +became embarrassed. + +"That will do, though!" he said, rising to his feet. "Our wager is +finished, and now your observations, it seems to me, are out of place." + +He took up his cap and departed. The whole affair struck me as being +strange--and not without reason. Shortly after that, all the officers +broke up and went home, discussing Vulich's freaks from different points +of view, and, doubtless, with one voice calling me an egoist for having +taken up a wager against a man who wanted to shoot himself, as if he +could not have found a convenient opportunity without my intervention. + +I returned home by the deserted byways of the village. The moon, full +and red like the glow of a conflagration, was beginning to make its +appearance from behind the jagged horizon of the house-tops; the stars +were shining tranquilly in the deep, blue vault of the sky; and I was +struck by the absurdity of the idea when I recalled to mind that once +upon a time there were some exceedingly wise people who thought that the +stars of heaven participated in our insignificant squabbles for a slice +of ground, or some other imaginary rights. And what then? These lamps, +lighted, so they fancied, only to illuminate their battles and triumphs, +are burning with all their former brilliance, whilst the wiseacres +themselves, together with their hopes and passions, have long been +extinguished, like a little fire kindled at the edge of a forest by a +careless wayfarer! But, on the other hand, what strength of will +was lent them by the conviction that the entire heavens, with +their innumerable habitants, were looking at them with a sympathy, +unalterable, though mute!... And we, their miserable descendants, +roaming over the earth, without faith, without pride, without enjoyment, +and without terror--except that involuntary awe which makes the heart +shrink at the thought of the inevitable end--we are no longer capable +of great sacrifices, either for the good of mankind or even for our own +happiness, because we know the impossibility of such happiness; and, +just as our ancestors used to fling themselves from one delusion to +another, we pass indifferently from doubt to doubt, without possessing, +as they did, either hope or even that vague though, at the same time, +keen enjoyment which the soul encounters at every struggle with mankind +or with destiny. + +These and many other similar thoughts passed through my mind, but I +did not follow them up, because I do not like to dwell upon abstract +ideas--for what do they lead to? In my early youth I was a dreamer; I +loved to hug to my bosom the images--now gloomy, now rainbowhued--which +my restless and eager imagination drew for me. And what is there left to +me of all these? Only such weariness as might be felt after a battle by +night with a phantom--only a confused memory full of regrets. In that +vain contest I have exhausted the warmth of soul and firmness of will +indispensable to an active life. I have entered upon that life after +having already lived through it in thought, and it has become wearisome +and nauseous to me, as the reading of a bad imitation of a book is to +one who has long been familiar with the original. + +The events of that evening produced a somewhat deep impression upon me +and excited my nerves. I do not know for certain whether I now believe +in predestination or not, but on that evening I believed in it firmly. +The proof was startling, and I, notwithstanding that I had laughed at +our forefathers and their obliging astrology, fell involuntarily into +their way of thinking. However, I stopped myself in time from following +that dangerous road, and, as I have made it a rule not to reject +anything decisively and not to trust anything blindly, I cast +metaphysics aside and began to look at what was beneath my feet. The +precaution was well-timed. I only just escaped stumbling over something +thick and soft, but, to all appearance, inanimate. I bent down to see +what it was, and, by the light of the moon, which now shone right upon +the road, I perceived that it was a pig which had been cut in two with +a sabre... I had hardly time to examine it before I heard the sound of +steps, and two Cossacks came running out of a byway. One of them came up +to me and enquired whether I had seen a drunken Cossack chasing a pig. +I informed him that I had not met the Cossack and pointed to the unhappy +victim of his rabid bravery. + +"The scoundrel!" said the second Cossack. "No sooner does he drink his +fill of chikhir [24] than off he goes and cuts up anything that comes in +his way. Let us be after him, Eremeich, we must tie him up or else"... + +They took themselves off, and I continued my way with greater caution, +and at length arrived at my lodgings without mishap. + +I was living with a certain old Cossack underofficer whom I loved, +not only on account of his kindly disposition, but also, and more +especially, on account of his pretty daughter, Nastya. + +Wrapped up in a sheepskin coat she was waiting for me, as usual, by the +wicket gate. The moon illumined her charming little lips, now turned +blue by the cold of the night. Recognizing me she smiled; but I was in +no mood to linger with her. + +"Good night, Nastya!" I said, and passed on. + +She was about to make some answer, but only sighed. + +I fastened the door of my room after me, lighted a candle, and threw +myself on the bed; but, on that occasion, slumber caused its presence +to be awaited longer than usual. By the time I fell asleep the east was +beginning to grow pale, but I was evidently predestined not to have +my sleep out. At four o'clock in the morning two fists knocked at my +window. I sprang up. + +"What is the matter?" + +"Get up--dress yourself!" + +I dressed hurriedly and went out. + +"Do you know what has happened?" said three officers who had come for +me, speaking all in one voice. + +They were deadly pale. + +"No, what is it?" + +"Vulich has been murdered!" + +I was petrified. + +"Yes, murdered!" they continued. "Let us lose no time and go!" + +"But where to?" + +"You will learn as we go." + +We set off. They told me all that had happened, supplementing their +story with a variety of observations on the subject of the strange +predestination which had saved Vulich from imminent death half an hour +before he actually met his end. + +Vulich had been walking alone along a dark street, and the drunken +Cossack who had cut up the pig had sprung out upon him, and perhaps +would have passed him by without noticing him, had not Vulich stopped +suddenly and said: + +"Whom are you looking for, my man?" + + +"You!" answered the Cossack, striking him with his sabre; and he cleft +him from the shoulder almost to the heart... + +The two Cossacks who had met me and followed the murderer had arrived on +the scene and raised the wounded man from the ground. But he was already +at his last gasp and said these three words only--"he was right!" + +I alone understood the dark significance of those words: they referred +to me. I had involuntarily foretold his fate to poor Vulich. My instinct +had not deceived me; I had indeed read on his changed countenance the +signs of approaching death. + +The murderer had locked himself up in an empty hut at the end of the +village; and thither we went. A number of women, all of them weeping, +were running in the same direction; at times a belated Cossack, hastily +buckling on his dagger, sprang out into the street and overtook us at a +run. The tumult was dreadful. + +At length we arrived on the scene and found a crowd standing around the +hut, the door and shutters of which were locked on the inside. Groups of +officers and Cossacks were engaged in heated discussions; the women were +shrieking, wailing and talking all in one breath. One of the old +women struck my attention by her meaning looks and the frantic despair +expressed upon her face. She was sitting on a thick plank, leaning her +elbows on her knees and supporting her head with her hands. It was the +mother of the murderer. At times her lips moved... Was it a prayer they +were whispering, or a curse? + +Meanwhile it was necessary to decide upon some course of action and to +seize the criminal. Nobody, however, made bold to be the first to rush +forward. + +I went up to the window and looked in through a chink in the shutter. +The criminal, pale of face, was lying on the floor, holding a pistol in +his right hand. The blood-stained sabre was beside him. His expressive +eyes were rolling in terror; at times he shuddered and clutched at his +head, as if indistinctly recalling the events of yesterday. I could not +read any sign of great determination in that uneasy glance of his, and +I told the major that it would be better at once to give orders to the +Cossacks to burst open the door and rush in, than to wait until the +murderer had quite recovered his senses. + +At that moment the old captain of the Cossacks went up to the door and +called the murderer by name. The latter answered back. + +"You have committed a sin, brother Ephimych!" said the captain, "so all +you can do now is to submit." + +"I will not submit!" answered the Cossack. + +"Have you no fear of God! You see, you are not one of those cursed +Chechenes, but an honest Christian! Come, if you have done it in an +unguarded moment there is no help for it! You cannot escape your fate!" + +"I will not submit!" exclaimed the Cossack menacingly, and we could hear +the snap of the cocked trigger. + +"Hey, my good woman!" said the Cossack captain to the old woman. "Say a +word to your son--perhaps he will lend an ear to you... You see, to go +on like this is only to make God angry. And look, the gentlemen here +have already been waiting two hours." + +The old woman gazed fixedly at him and shook her head. + +"Vasili Petrovich," said the captain, going up to the major; "he will +not surrender. I know him! If it comes to smashing in the door he will +strike down several of our men. Would it not be better if you ordered +him to be shot? There is a wide chink in the shutter." + +At that moment a strange idea flashed through my head--like Vulich I +proposed to put fate to the test. + +"Wait," I said to the major, "I will take him alive." + +Bidding the captain enter into a conversation with the murderer and +setting three Cossacks at the door ready to force it open and rush to my +aid at a given signal, I walked round the hut and approached the fatal +window. My heart was beating violently. + +"Aha, you cursed wretch!" cried the captain. "Are you laughing at us, +eh? Or do you think that we won't be able to get the better of you?" + +He began to knock at the door with all his might. Putting my eye to the +chink, I followed the movements of the Cossack, who was not expecting an +attack from that direction. I pulled the shutter away suddenly and threw +myself in at the window, head foremost. A shot rang out right over my +ear, and the bullet tore off one of my epaulettes. But the smoke which +filled the room prevented my adversary from finding the sabre which was +lying beside him. I seized him by the arms; the Cossacks burst in; and +three minutes had not elapsed before they had the criminal bound and led +off under escort. + +The people dispersed, the officers congratulated me--and indeed there +was cause for congratulation. + +After all that, it would hardly seem possible to avoid becoming a +fatalist? But who knows for certain whether he is convinced of anything +or not? And how often is a deception of the senses or an error of the +reason accepted as a conviction!... I prefer to doubt everything. Such a +disposition is no bar to decision of character; on the contrary, so far +as I am concerned, I always advance more boldly when I do not know what +is awaiting me. You see, nothing can happen worse than death--and from +death there is no escape. + +On my return to the fortress I related to Maksim Maksimych all that +I had seen and experienced; and I sought to learn his opinion on the +subject of predestination. + +At first he did not understand the word. I explained it to him as well +as I could, and then he said, with a significant shake of the head: + +"Yes, sir, of course! It was a very ingenious trick! However, these +Asiatic pistols often miss fire if they are badly oiled or if you don't +press hard enough on the trigger. I confess I don't like the Circassian +carbines either. Somehow or other they don't suit the like of us: the +butt end is so small, and any minute you may get your nose burnt! On the +other hand, their sabres, now--well, all I need say is, my best respects +to them!" + +Afterwards he said, on reflecting a little: + +"Yes, it is a pity about the poor fellow! The devil must have put it +into his head to start a conversation with a drunken man at night! +However, it is evident that fate had written it so at his birth!" + +I could not get anything more out of Maksim Maksimych; generally +speaking, he had no liking for metaphysical disputations. + + + + + +BOOK V THE THIRD EXTRACT FROM PECHORIN'S DIARY + + +PRINCESS MARY + + + + +CHAPTER I. 11th May. + +YESTERDAY I arrived at Pyatigorsk. I have engaged lodgings at the +extreme end of the town, the highest part, at the foot of Mount Mashuk: +during a storm the clouds will descend on to the roof of my dwelling. + +This morning at five o'clock, when I opened my window, the room was +filled with the fragrance of the flowers growing in the modest little +front-garden. Branches of bloom-laden bird-cherry trees peep in at my +window, and now and again the breeze bestrews my writing-table with +their white petals. The view which meets my gaze on three sides is +wonderful: westward towers five-peaked Beshtau, blue as "the last cloud +of a dispersed storm," [25] and northward rises Mashuk, like a shaggy +Persian cap, shutting in the whole of that quarter of the horizon. +Eastward the outlook is more cheery: down below are displayed the +varied hues of the brand-new, spotlessly clean, little town, with its +murmuring, health-giving springs and its babbling, many-tongued throng. +Yonder, further away, the mountains tower up in an amphitheatre, ever +bluer and mistier; and, at the edge of the horizon, stretches the +silver chain of snow-clad summits, beginning with Kazbek and ending with +two-peaked Elbruz... Blithe is life in such a land! A feeling akin to +rapture is diffused through all my veins. The air is pure and fresh, +like the kiss of a child; the sun is bright, the sky is blue--what more +could one possibly wish for? What need, in such a place as this, of +passions, desires, regrets? + +However, it is time to be stirring. I will go to the Elizaveta spring--I +am told that the whole society of the watering-place assembles there in +the morning. + +***** + +Descending into the middle of the town, I walked along the boulevard, +on which I met a few melancholy groups slowly ascending the mountain. +These, for the most part, were the families of landed-gentry from the +steppes--as could be guessed at once from the threadbare, old-fashioned +frock-coats of the husbands and the exquisite attire of the wives +and daughters. Evidently they already had all the young men of the +watering-place at their fingers' ends, because they looked at me with +a tender curiosity. The Petersburg cut of my coat misled them; but +they soon recognised the military epaulettes, and turned away with +indignation. + +The wives of the local authorities--the hostesses, so to speak, of the +waters--were more graciously inclined. They carry lorgnettes, and they +pay less attention to a uniform--they have grown accustomed in the +Caucasus to meeting a fervid heart beneath a numbered button and a +cultured intellect beneath a white forage-cap. These ladies are very +charming, and long continue to be charming. Each year their adorers +are exchanged for new ones, and in that very fact, it may be, lies the +secret of their unwearying amiability. + +Ascending by the narrow path to the Elizaveta spring, I overtook a crowd +of officials and military men, who, as I subsequently learned, compose a +class apart amongst those who place their hopes in the medicinal waters. +They drink--but not water--take but few walks, indulge in only mild +flirtations, gamble, and complain of boredom. + +They are dandies. In letting their wicker-sheathed tumblers down into +the well of sulphurous water they assume academical poses. The officials +wear bright blue cravats; the military men have ruffs sticking out above +their collars. They affect a profound contempt for provincial ladies, +and sigh for the aristocratic drawing-rooms of the capitals--to which +they are not admitted. + +Here is the well at last!... Upon the small square adjoining it a little +house with a red roof over the bath is erected, and somewhat further on +there is a gallery in which the people walk when it rains. Some wounded +officers were sitting--pale and melancholy--on a bench, with their +crutches drawn up. A few ladies, their tumbler of water finished, were +walking with rapid steps to and fro about the square. There were two or +three pretty faces amongst them. Beneath the avenues of the vines with +which the slope of Mashuk is covered, occasional glimpses could be +caught of the gay-coloured hat of a lover of solitude for two--for +beside that hat I always noticed either a military forage-cap or the +ugly round hat of a civilian. Upon the steep cliff, where the pavilion +called "The Aeolian Harp" is erected, figured the lovers of scenery, +directing their telescopes upon Elbruz. Amongst them were a couple of +tutors, with their pupils who had come to be cured of scrofula. + +Out of breath, I came to a standstill at the edge of the mountain, and, +leaning against the corner of a little house, I began to examine the +picturesque surroundings, when suddenly I heard behind me a familiar +voice. + +"Pechorin! Have you been here long?" + +I turned round. Grushnitski! We embraced. I had made his acquaintance +in the active service detachment. He had been wounded in the foot by a +bullet and had come to the waters a week or so before me. + +Grushnitski is a cadet; he has only been a year in the service. From +a kind of foppery peculiar to himself, he wears the thick cloak of a +common soldier. He has also the soldier's cross of St. George. He is +well built, swarthy and black-haired. To look at him, you might say he +was a man of twenty-five, although he is scarcely twenty-one. He tosses +his head when he speaks, and keeps continually twirling his moustache +with his left hand, his right hand being occupied with the crutch on +which he leans. He speaks rapidly and affectedly; he is one of those +people who have a high-sounding phrase ready for every occasion in +life, who remain untouched by simple beauty, and who drape themselves +majestically in extraordinary sentiments, exalted passions and +exceptional sufferings. To produce an effect is their delight; they have +an almost insensate fondness for romantic provincial ladies. When +old age approaches they become either peaceful landed-gentry or +drunkards--sometimes both. Frequently they have many good qualities, +but they have not a grain of poetry in their composition. Grushnitski's +passion was declamation. He would deluge you with words so soon as the +conversation went beyond the sphere of ordinary ideas. I have never been +able to dispute with him. He neither answers your questions nor listens +to you. So soon as you stop, he begins a lengthy tirade, which has +the appearance of being in some sort connected with what you have been +saying, but which is, in fact, only a continuation of his own harangue. + +He is witty enough; his epigrams are frequently amusing, but never +malicious, nor to the point. He slays nobody with a single word; he has +no knowledge of men and of their foibles, because all his life he has +been interested in nobody but himself. His aim is to make himself the +hero of a novel. He has so often endeavoured to convince others that he +is a being created not for this world and doomed to certain mysterious +sufferings, that he has almost convinced himself that such he is in +reality. Hence the pride with which he wears his thick soldier's cloak. +I have seen through him, and he dislikes me for that reason, although +to outward appearance we are on the friendliest of terms. Grushnitski +is looked upon as a man of distinguished courage. I have seen him in +action. He waves his sabre, shouts, and hurls himself forward with his +eyes shut. That is not what I should call Russian courage!... + +I reciprocate Grushnitski's dislike. I feel that some time or other we +shall come into collision upon a narrow road, and that one of us will +fare badly. + +His arrival in the Caucasus is also the result of his romantic +fanaticism. I am convinced that on the eve of his departure from his +paternal village he said with an air of gloom to some pretty neighbour +that he was going away, not so much for the simple purpose of serving +in the army as of seeking death, because... and hereupon, I am sure, +he covered his eyes with his hand and continued thus, "No, you--or +thou--must not know! Your pure soul would shudder! And what would be the +good? What am I to you? Could you understand me?"... and so on. + +He has himself told me that the motive which induced him to enter the +K----regiment must remain an everlasting secret between him and Heaven. + +However, in moments when he casts aside the tragic mantle, Grushnitski +is charming and entertaining enough. I am always interested to see him +with women--it is then that he puts forth his finest efforts, I think! + +We met like a couple of old friends. I began to question him about +the personages of note and as to the sort of life which was led at the +waters. + +"It is a rather prosaic life," he said, with a sigh. "Those who drink +the waters in the morning are inert--like all invalids, and those who +drink the wines in the evening are unendurable--like all healthy people! +There are ladies who entertain, but there is no great amusement to be +obtained from them. They play whist, they dress badly and speak French +dreadfully! The only Moscow people here this year are Princess Ligovski +and her daughter--but I am not acquainted with them. My soldier's cloak +is like a seal of renunciation. The sympathy which it arouses is as +painful as charity." + +At that moment two ladies walked past us in the direction of the well; +one elderly, the other youthful and slender. I could not obtain a good +view of their faces on account of their hats, but they were dressed in +accordance with the strict rules of the best taste--nothing superfluous. +The second lady was wearing a high-necked dress of pearl-grey, and a +light silk kerchief was wound round her supple neck. Puce-coloured boots +clasped her slim little ankle so charmingly, that even those uninitiated +into the mysteries of beauty would infallibly have sighed, if only from +wonder. There was something maidenly in her easy, but aristocratic gait, +something eluding definition yet intelligible to the glance. As she +walked past us an indefinable perfume, like that which sometimes +breathes from the note of a charming woman, was wafted from her. + +"Look!" said Grushnitski, "there is Princess Ligovski with her daughter +Mary, as she calls her after the English manner. They have been here +only three days." + +"You already know her name, though?" + +"Yes, I heard it by chance," he answered, with a blush. "I confess I do +not desire to make their acquaintance. These haughty aristocrats look +upon us army men just as they would upon savages. What care they if +there is an intellect beneath a numbered forage-cap, and a heart beneath +a thick cloak?" + +"Poor cloak!" I said, with a laugh. "But who is the gentleman who is +just going up to them and handing them a tumbler so officiously?" + +"Oh, that is Raevich, the Moscow dandy. He is a gambler; you can see +as much at once from that immense gold chain coiling across his +skyblue waistcoat. And what a thick cane he has! Just like Robinson +Crusoe's--and so is his beard too, and his hair is done like a +peasant's." + +"You are embittered against the whole human race?" + +"And I have cause to be"... + +"Oh, really?" + +At that moment the ladies left the well and came up to where we were. +Grushnitski succeeded in assuming a dramatic pose with the aid of his +crutch, and in a loud tone of voice answered me in French: + +"Mon cher, je hais les hommes pour ne pas les mepriser, car autrement la +vie serait une farce trop degoutante." + +The pretty Princess Mary turned round and favoured the orator with a +long and curious glance. Her expression was quite indefinite, but it was +not contemptuous, a fact on which I inwardly congratulated Grushnitski +from my heart. + +"She is an extremely pretty girl," I said. "She has such velvet +eyes--yes, velvet is the word. I should advise you to appropriate the +expression when speaking of her eyes. The lower and upper lashes are +so long that the sunbeams are not reflected in her pupils. I love those +eyes without a glitter, they are so soft that they appear to caress you. +However, her eyes seem to be her only good feature... Tell me, are her +teeth white? That is most important! It is a pity that she did not smile +at that high-sounding phrase of yours." + +"You are speaking of a pretty woman just as you might of an English +horse," said Grushnitski indignantly. + +"Mon cher," I answered, trying to mimic his tone, "je meprise les +femmes, pour ne pas les aimer, car autrement la vie serait un melodrame +trop ridicule." + +I turned and left him. For half an hour or so I walked about the avenues +of the vines, the limestone cliffs and the bushes hanging between them. +The day grew hot, and I hurried homewards. Passing the sulphur spring, +I stopped at the covered gallery in order to regain my breath under its +shade, and by so doing I was afforded the opportunity of witnessing a +rather interesting scene. This is the position in which the dramatis +personae were disposed: Princess Ligovski and the Moscow dandy were +sitting on a bench in the covered gallery--apparently engaged in serious +conversation. Princess Mary, who had doubtless by this time finished her +last tumbler, was walking pensively to and fro by the well. Grushnitski +was standing by the well itself; there was nobody else on the square. + +I went up closer and concealed myself behind a corner of the gallery. +At that moment Grushnitski let his tumbler fall on the sand and made +strenuous efforts to stoop in order to pick it up; but his injured foot +prevented him. Poor fellow! How he tried all kinds of artifices, as he +leaned on his crutch, and all in vain! His expressive countenance was, +in fact, a picture of suffering. + +Princess Mary saw the whole scene better than I. + +Lighter than a bird she sprang towards him, stooped, picked up the +tumbler, and handed it to him with a gesture full of ineffable charm. +Then she blushed furiously, glanced round at the gallery, and, having +assured herself that her mother apparently had not seen anything, +immediately regained her composure. By the time Grushnitski had opened +his mouth to thank her she was a long way off. A moment after, she came +out of the gallery with her mother and the dandy, but, in passing by +Grushnitski, she assumed a most decorous and serious air. She did not +even turn round, she did not even observe the passionate gaze which he +kept fixed upon her for a long time until she had descended the mountain +and was hidden behind the lime trees of the boulevard... Presently I +caught glimpses of her hat as she walked along the street. She hurried +through the gate of one of the best houses in Pyatigorsk; her mother +walked behind her and bowed adieu to Raevich at the gate. + +It was only then that the poor, passionate cadet noticed my presence. + +"Did you see?" he said, pressing my hand vigorously. "She is an angel, +simply an angel!" + +"Why?" I inquired, with an air of the purest simplicity. + +"Did you not see, then?" + +"No. I saw her picking up your tumbler. If there had been an attendant +there he would have done the same thing--and quicker too, in the hope +of receiving a tip. It is quite easy, however, to understand that she +pitied you; you made such a terrible grimace when you walked on the +wounded foot." + +"And can it be that seeing her, as you did, at that moment when her soul +was shining in her eyes, you were not in the least affected?" + +"No." + +I was lying, but I wanted to exasperate him. I have an innate passion +for contradiction--my whole life has been nothing but a series of +melancholy and vain contradictions of heart or reason. The presence of +an enthusiast chills me with a twelfth-night cold, and I believe +that constant association with a person of a flaccid and phlegmatic +temperament would have turned me into an impassioned visionary. I +confess, too, that an unpleasant but familiar sensation was coursing +lightly through my heart at that moment. It was--envy. I say "envy" +boldly, because I am accustomed to acknowledge everything to myself. +It would be hard to find a young man who, if his idle fancy had been +attracted by a pretty woman and he had suddenly found her openly +singling out before his eyes another man equally unknown to her--it +would be hard, I say, to find such a young man (living, of course, in +the great world and accustomed to indulge his self-love) who would not +have been unpleasantly taken aback in such a case. + +In silence Grushnitski and I descended the mountain and walked along +the boulevard, past the windows of the house where our beauty had hidden +herself. She was sitting by the window. Grushnitski, plucking me by the +arm, cast upon her one of those gloomily tender glances which have so +little effect upon women. I directed my lorgnette at her, and observed +that she smiled at his glance and that my insolent lorgnette made +her downright angry. And how, indeed, should a Caucasian military man +presume to direct his eyeglass at a princess from Moscow?... + + + + +CHAPTER II. 13th May. + +THIS morning the doctor came to see me. His name is Werner, but he is +a Russian. What is there surprising in that? I have known a man named +Ivanov, who was a German. + +Werner is a remarkable man, and that for many reasons. Like almost all +medical men he is a sceptic and a materialist, but, at the same time, he +is a genuine poet--a poet always in deeds and often in words, although +he has never written two verses in his life. He has mastered all the +living chords of the human heart, just as one learns the veins of a +corpse, but he has never known how to avail himself of his knowledge. In +like manner, it sometimes happens that an excellent anatomist does not +know how to cure a fever. Werner usually made fun of his patients in +private; but once I saw him weeping over a dying soldier... He was poor, +and dreamed of millions, but he would not take a single step out of his +way for the sake of money. He once told me that he would rather do a +favour to an enemy than to a friend, because, in the latter case, +it would mean selling his beneficence, whilst hatred only increases +proportionately to the magnanimity of the adversary. He had a malicious +tongue; and more than one good, simple soul has acquired the reputation +of a vulgar fool through being labelled with one of his epigrams. His +rivals, envious medical men of the watering-place, spread the report +that he was in the habit of drawing caricatures of his patients. The +patients were incensed, and almost all of them discarded him. His +friends, that is to say all the genuinely well-bred people who were +serving in the Caucasus, vainly endeavoured to restore his fallen +credit. + +His outward appearance was of the type which, at the first glance, +creates an unpleasant impression, but which you get to like in course of +time, when the eye learns to read in the irregular features the stamp of +a tried and lofty soul. Instances have been known of women falling madly +in love with men of that sort, and having no desire to exchange their +ugliness for the beauty of the freshest and rosiest of Endymions. +We must give women their due: they possess an instinct for spiritual +beauty, for which reason, possibly, men such as Werner love women so +passionately. + +Werner was small and lean and as weak as a baby. One of his legs was +shorter than the other, as was the case with Byron. In comparison with +his body, his head seemed enormous. His hair was cropped close, and +the unevennesses of his cranium, thus laid bare, would have struck a +phrenologist by reason of the strange intertexture of contradictory +propensities. His little, ever restless, black eyes seemed as if they +were endeavouring to fathom your thoughts. Taste and neatness were to be +observed in his dress. His small, lean, sinewy hands flaunted themselves +in bright-yellow gloves. His frock-coat, cravat and waistcoat were +invariably of black. The young men dubbed him Mephistopheles; he +pretended to be angry at the nickname, but in reality it flattered his +vanity. Werner and I soon understood each other and became friends, +because I, for my part, am illadapted for friendship. Of two friends, +one is always the slave of the other, although frequently neither +acknowledges the fact to himself. Now, the slave I could not be; and to +be the master would be a wearisome trouble, because, at the same time, +deception would be required. Besides, I have servants and money! + +Our friendship originated in the following circumstances. I met Werner +at S----, in the midst of a numerous and noisy circle of young +people. Towards the end of the evening the conversation took a +philosophico-metaphysical turn. We discussed the subject of convictions, +and each of us had some different conviction to declare. + +"So far as I am concerned," said the doctor, "I am convinced of one +thing only"... + +"And that is--?" I asked, desirous of learning the opinion of a man who +had been silent till then. + +"Of the fact," he answered, "that sooner or later, one fine morning, I +shall die." + +"I am better off than you," I said. "In addition to that, I have a +further conviction, namely, that, one very nasty evening, I had the +misfortune to be born." + +All the others considered that we were talking nonsense, but indeed not +one of them said anything more sensible. From that moment we singled +each other out amongst the crowd. We used frequently to meet and discuss +abstract subjects in a very serious manner, until each observed that the +other was throwing dust in his eyes. Then, looking significantly at each +other--as, according to Cicero, the Roman augurs used to do--we +would burst out laughing heartily and, having had our laugh, we would +separate, well content with our evening. + +I was lying on a couch, my eyes fixed upon the ceiling and my hands +clasped behind my head, when Werner entered my room. He sat down in an +easy chair, placed his cane in a corner, yawned, and announced that it +was getting hot out of doors. I replied that the flies were bothering +me--and we both fell silent. + +"Observe, my dear doctor," I said, "that, but for fools, the world would +be a very dull place. Look! Here are you and I, both sensible men! +We know beforehand that it is possible to dispute ad infinitum about +everything--and so we do not dispute. Each of us knows almost all the +other's secret thoughts: to us a single word is a whole history; we see +the grain of every one of our feelings through a threefold husk. What +is sad, we laugh at; what is laughable, we grieve at; but, to tell the +truth, we are fairly indifferent, generally speaking, to everything +except ourselves. Consequently, there can be no interchange of feelings +and thoughts between us; each of us knows all he cares to know about +the other, and that knowledge is all he wants. One expedient remains--to +tell the news. So tell me some news." + +Fatigued by this lengthy speech, I closed my eyes and yawned. The doctor +answered after thinking awhile: + +"There is an idea, all the same, in that nonsense of yours." + +"Two," I replied. + +"Tell me one, and I will tell you the other." + +"Very well, begin!" I said, continuing to examine the ceiling and +smiling inwardly. + +"You are anxious for information about some of the new-comers here, and +I can guess who it is, because they, for their part, have already been +inquiring about you." + +"Doctor! Decidedly it is impossible for us to hold a conversation! We +read into each other's soul." + +"Now the other idea?"... + +"Here it is: I wanted to make you relate something, for the following +reasons: firstly, listening is less fatiguing than talking; secondly, +the listener cannot commit himself; thirdly, he can learn another's +secret; fourthly, sensible people, such as you, prefer listeners to +speakers. Now to business; what did Princess Ligovski tell you about +me?" + +"You are quite sure that it was Princess Ligovski... and not Princess +Mary?"... + +"Quite sure." + +"Why?" + +"Because Princess Mary inquired about Grushnitski." + +"You are gifted with a fine imagination! Princess Mary said that she was +convinced that the young man in the soldier's cloak had been reduced to +the ranks on account of a duel"... + +"I hope you left her cherishing that pleasant delusion"... + +"Of course"... + +"A plot!" I exclaimed in rapture. "We will make it our business to see +to the denouement of this little comedy. It is obvious that fate is +taking care that I shall not be bored!" + +"I have a presentiment," said the doctor, "that poor Grushnitski will be +your victim." + +"Proceed, doctor." + +"Princess Ligovski said that your face was familiar to her. I observed +that she had probably met you in Petersburg--somewhere in society... +I told her your name. She knew it well. It appears that your history +created a great stir there... She began to tell us of your adventures, +most likely supplementing the gossip of society with observations of her +own... Her daughter listened with curiosity. In her imagination you +have become the hero of a novel in a new style... I did not contradict +Princess Ligovski, although I knew that she was talking nonsense." + +"Worthy friend!" I said, extending my hand to him. + +The doctor pressed it feelingly and continued: + +"If you like I will present you"... + +"Good heavens!" I said, clapping my hands. "Are heroes ever presented? +In no other way do they make the acquaintance of their beloved than by +saving her from certain death!"... + +"And you really wish to court Princess Mary?" + +"Not at all, far from it!... Doctor, I triumph at last! You do not +understand me!... It vexes me, however," I continued after a moment's +silence. "I never reveal my secrets myself, but I am exceedingly fond of +their being guessed, because in that way I can always disavow them upon +occasion. However, you must describe both mother and daughter to me. +What sort of people are they?" + +"In the first place, Princess Ligovski is a woman of forty-five," +answered Werner. "She has a splendid digestion, but her blood is out of +order--there are red spots on her cheeks. She has spent the latter half +of her life in Moscow, and has grown stout from leading an inactive +life there. She loves spicy stories, and sometimes says improper things +herself when her daughter is out of the room. She has declared to me +that her daughter is as innocent as a dove. What does that matter to +me?... I was going to answer that she might be at her ease, because I +would never tell anyone. Princess Ligovski is taking the cure for her +rheumatism, and the daughter, for goodness knows what. I have ordered +each of them to drink two tumblers a day of sulphurous water, and to +bathe twice a week in the diluted bath. Princess Ligovski is +apparently unaccustomed to giving orders. She cherishes respect for +the intelligence and attainments of her daughter, who has read Byron in +English and knows algebra: in Moscow, evidently, the ladies have entered +upon the paths of erudition--and a good thing, too! The men here are +generally so unamiable, that, for a clever woman, it must be intolerable +to flirt with them. Princess Ligovski is very fond of young people; +Princess Mary looks on them with a certain contempt--a Moscow habit! In +Moscow they cherish only wits of not less than forty." + +"You have been in Moscow, doctor?" + +"Yes, I had a practice there." + +"Continue." + +"But I think I have told everything... No, there is something else: +Princess Mary, it seems, loves to discuss emotions, passions, etcetera. +She was in Petersburg for one winter, and disliked it--especially the +society: no doubt she was coldly received." + +"You have not seen anyone with them today?" + +"On the contrary, there was an aide-de-camp, a stiff guardsman, and a +lady--one of the latest arrivals, a relation of Princess Ligovski on the +husband's side--very pretty, but apparently very ill... Have you not met +her at the well? She is of medium height, fair, with regular features; +she has the complexion of a consumptive, and there is a little black +mole on her right cheek. I was struck by the expressiveness of her +face." + +"A mole!" I muttered through my teeth. "Is it possible?" + +The doctor looked at me, and, laying his hand on my heart, said +triumphantly: + +"You know her!" + +My heart was, in fact, beating more violently than usual. + +"It is your turn, now, to triumph," I said. "But I rely on you: you +will not betray me. I have not seen her yet, but I am convinced that I +recognise from your portrait a woman whom I loved in the old days... Do +not speak a word to her about me; if she asks any questions, give a bad +report of me." + +"Be it so!" said Werner, shrugging his shoulders. + +When he had departed, my heart was compressed with terrible grief. +Has destiny brought us together again in the Caucasus, or has she come +hither on purpose, knowing that she would meet me?... And how shall we +meet?... And then, is it she?... My presentiments have never deceived +me. There is not a man in the world over whom the past has acquired such +a power as over me. Every recollection of bygone grief or joy strikes +my soul with morbid effect, and draws forth ever the same sounds... I am +stupidly constituted: I forget nothing--nothing! + +After dinner, about six o'clock, I went on to the boulevard. It was +crowded. The two princesses were sitting on a bench, surrounded by young +men, who were vying with each other in paying them attention. I took +up my position on another bench at a little distance off, stopped two +Dragoon officers whom I knew, and proceeded to tell them something. +Evidently it was amusing, because they began to laugh loudly like a +couple of madmen. Some of those who were surrounding Princess Mary were +attracted to my side by curiosity, and gradually all of them left her +and joined my circle. I did not stop talking; my anecdotes were clever +to the point of absurdity, my jests at the expense of the queer people +passing by, malicious to the point of frenzy. I continued to entertain +the public till sunset. Princess Mary passed by me a few times, +arm-in-arm with her mother, and accompanied by a certain lame old man. +A few times her glance as it fell upon me expressed vexation, while +endeavouring to express indifference... + +"What has he been telling you?" she inquired of one of the young men, +who had gone back to her out of politeness. "No doubt a most interesting +story--his own exploits in battle?"... + +This was said rather loudly, and probably with the intention of stinging +me. + +"Aha!" I thought to myself. "You are downright angry, my dear Princess. +Wait awhile, there is more to follow." + +Grushnitski kept following her like a beast of prey, and would not let +her out of his sight. I wager that to-morrow he will ask somebody to +present him to Princess Ligovski. She will be glad, because she is +bored. + + + + +CHAPTER III. 16th May. + +IN the course of two days my affairs have gained ground tremendously. +Princess Mary positively hates me. Already I have had repeated to me two +or three epigrams on the subject of myself--rather caustic, but at the +same time very flattering. She finds it exceedingly strange that I, who +am accustomed to good society, and am so intimate with her Petersburg +cousins and aunts, do not try to make her acquaintance. Every day we +meet at the well and on the boulevard. I exert all my powers to entice +away her adorers, glittering aides-de-camp, pale-faced visitors from +Moscow, and others--and I almost always succeed. I have always hated +entertaining guests: now my house is full every day; they dine, sup, +gamble, and alas! my champagne triumphs over the might of Princess +Mary's magnetic eyes! + +I met her yesterday in Chelakhov's shop. She was bargaining for a +marvellous Persian rug, and implored her mother not to be niggardly: the +rug would be such an ornament to her boudoir... I outbid her by forty +rubles, and bought it over her head. I was rewarded with a glance in +which the most delightful fury sparkled. About dinnertime, I ordered my +Circassian horse, covered with that very rug, purposely to be led past +her windows. Werner was with the princesses at the time, and told me +that the effect of the scene was most dramatic. Princess Mary wishes to +preach a crusade against me, and I have even noticed that, already, +two of the aides-de-camp salute me very coldly, when they are in her +presence--they dine with me every day, however. + +Grushnitski has assumed an air of mystery; he walks with his arms folded +behind his back and does not recognise anyone. His foot has got well +all at once, and there is hardly a sign of a limp. He has found an +opportunity of entering into conversation with Princess Ligovski and of +paying Princess Mary some kind of a compliment. The latter is evidently +not very fastidious, for, ever since, she answers his bow with a most +charming smile. + +"Are you sure you do not wish to make the Ligovskis' acquaintance?" he +said to me yesterday. + +"Positive." + +"Good gracious! The pleasantest house at the waters! All the best +society of Pyatigorsk is to be found there"... + +"My friend, I am terribly tired of even other society than that of +Pyatigorsk. So you visit the Ligovskis?" + +"Not yet. I have spoken to Princess Mary once or twice, but that is +all. You know it is rather awkward to go and visit them without being +invited, although that is the custom here... It would be a different +matter if I was wearing epaulettes"... + +"Good heavens! Why, you are much more interesting as it is! You simply +do not know how to avail yourself of your advantageous position... Why, +that soldier's cloak makes a hero and a martyr of you in the eyes of any +lady of sentiment!" + +Grushnitski smiled complacently. + +"What nonsense!" he said. + +"I am convinced," I continued, "that Princess Mary is in love with you +already." + +He blushed up to the ears and looked big. + +Oh, vanity! Thou art the lever with which Archimedes was to lift the +earthly sphere!... + +"You are always jesting!" he said, pretending to be angry. "In the first +place, she knows so little of me as yet"... + +"Women love only those whom they do not know!" + +"But I have no pretensions whatsoever to pleasing her. I simply wish +to make the acquaintance of an agreeable household; and it would be +extremely ridiculous if I were to cherish the slightest hope... With +you, now, for instance, it is a different matter! You Petersburg +conquerors! You have but to look--and women melt... But do you know, +Pechorin, what Princess Mary said of you?"... + +"What? She has spoken to you already about me?"... + +"Do not rejoice too soon, though. The other day, by chance, I entered +into conversation with her at the well; her third word was, 'Who is +that gentleman with such an unpleasant, heavy glance? He was with you +when'... she blushed, and did not like to mention the day, remembering +her own delightful little exploit. 'You need not tell me what day it +was,' I answered; 'it will ever be present to my memory!'... Pechorin, +my friend, I cannot congratulate you, you are in her black books... And, +indeed, it is a pity, because Mary is a charming girl!"... + +It must be observed that Grushnitski is one of those men who, in +speaking of a woman with whom they are barely acquainted, call her my +Mary, my Sophie, if she has had the good fortune to please them. + +I assumed a serious air and answered: + +"Yes, she is good-looking... Only be careful, Grushnitski! Russian +ladies, for the most part, cherish only Platonic love, without mingling +any thought of matrimony with it; and Platonic love is exceedingly +embarrassing. Princess Mary seems to be one of those women who want to +be amused. If she is bored in your company for two minutes on end--you +are lost irrevocably. Your silence ought to excite her curiosity, your +conversation ought never to satisfy it completely; you should alarm her +every minute; ten times, in public, she will slight people's opinion for +you and will call that a sacrifice, and, in order to requite herself for +it, she will torment you. Afterwards she will simply say that she cannot +endure you. If you do not acquire authority over her, even her first +kiss will not give you the right to a second. She will flirt with you to +her heart's content, and, in two years' time, she will marry a monster, +in obedience to her mother, and will assure herself that she is unhappy, +that she has loved only one man--that is to say, you--but that Heaven +was not willing to unite her to him because he wore a soldier's cloak, +although beneath that thick, grey cloak beat a heart, passionate and +noble"... + +Grushnitski smote the table with his fist and fell to walking to and fro +across the room. + +I laughed inwardly and even smiled once or twice, but fortunately he did +not notice. It is evident that he is in love, because he has grown even +more confiding than heretofore. Moreover, a ring has made its appearance +on his finger, a silver ring with black enamel of local workmanship. It +struck me as suspicious... I began to examine it, and what do you think +I saw? The name Mary was engraved on the inside in small letters, and in +a line with the name was the date on which she had picked up the +famous tumbler. I kept my discovery a secret. I do not want to force +confessions from him, I want him, of his own accord, to choose me as his +confidant--and then I will enjoy myself!... + +***** + +To-day I rose late. I went to the well. I found nobody there. The +day grew hot. White, shaggy cloudlets were flitting rapidly from the +snow-clad mountains, giving promise of a thunderstorm; the summit of +Mount Mashuk was smoking like a just extinguished torch; grey wisps of +cloud were coiling and creeping like snakes around it, arrested in +their rapid sweep and, as it were, hooked to its prickly brushwood. The +atmosphere was charged with electricity. I plunged into the avenue of +the vines leading to the grotto. + +I felt low-spirited. I was thinking of the lady with the little mole on +her cheek, of whom the doctor had spoken to me... "Why is she here?" I +thought. "And is it she? And what reason have I for thinking it is? And +why am I so certain of it? Is there not many a woman with a mole on her +cheek?" Reflecting in such wise I came right up to the grotto. I looked +in and I saw that a woman, wearing a straw hat and wrapped in a black +shawl, was sitting on a stone seat in the cold shade of the arch. Her +head was sunk upon her breast, and the hat covered her face. I was just +about to turn back, in order not to disturb her meditations, when she +glanced at me. + +"Vera!" I exclaimed involuntarily. + +She started and turned pale. + +"I knew that you were here," she said. + +I sat down beside her and took her hand. A long-forgotten tremor ran +through my veins at the sound of that dear voice. She gazed into my +face with her deep, calm eyes. Mistrust and something in the nature of +reproach were expressed in her glance. + +"We have not seen each other for a long time," I said. + +"A long time, and we have both changed in many ways." + +"Consequently you love me no longer?"... + +"I am married!"... she said. + +"Again? A few years ago, however, that reason also existed, but, +nevertheless"... + +She plucked her hand away from mine and her cheeks flamed. + +"Perhaps you love your second husband?"... + +She made no answer and turned her head away. + +"Or is he very jealous?" + +She remained silent. + +"What then? He is young, handsome and, I suppose, rich--which is the +chief thing--and you are afraid?"... + +I glanced at her and was alarmed. Profound despair was depicted upon her +countenance; tears were glistening in her eyes. + +"Tell me," she whispered at length, "do you find it very amusing to +torture me? I ought to hate you. Since we have known each other, you +have given me naught but suffering"... + +Her voice shook; she leaned over to me, and let her head sink upon my +breast. + +"Perhaps," I reflected, "it is for that very reason that you have loved +me; joys are forgotten, but sorrows never"... + +I clasped her closely to my breast, and so we remained for a long +time. At length our lips drew closer and became blent in a fervent, +intoxicating kiss. Her hands were cold as ice; her head was burning. + +And hereupon we embarked upon one of those conversations which, on +paper, have no sense, which it is impossible to repeat, and impossible +even to retain in memory. The meaning of the sounds replaces and +completes the meaning of the words, as in Italian opera. + +She is decidedly averse to my making the acquaintance of her husband, +the lame old man of whom I had caught a glimpse on the boulevard. +She married him for the sake of her son. He is rich, and suffers from +attacks of rheumatism. I did not allow myself even a single scoff at +his expense. She respects him as a father, and will deceive him as a +husband... A strange thing, the human heart in general, and woman's +heart in particular. + +Vera's husband, Semyon Vasilevich G----v, is a distant relation of +Princess Ligovski. He lives next door to her. Vera frequently visits +the Princess. I have given her my promise to make the Ligovskis' +acquaintance, and to pay court to Princess Mary in order to distract +attention from Vera. In such way, my plans have been not a little +deranged, but it will be amusing for me... + +Amusing!... Yes, I have already passed that period of spiritual +life when happiness alone is sought, when the heart feels the urgent +necessity of violently and passionately loving somebody. Now my only +wish is to be loved, and that by very few. I even think that I would be +content with one constant attachment. A wretched habit of the heart!... + +One thing has always struck me as strange. I have never made myself the +slave of the woman I have loved. On the contrary, I have always acquired +an invincible power over her will and heart, without in the least +endeavouring to do so. Why is this? Is it because I never esteem +anything highly, and she has been continually afraid to let me out of +her hands? Or is it the magnetic influence of a powerful organism? Or is +it, simply, that I have never succeeded in meeting a woman of stubborn +character? + +I must confess that, in fact, I do not love women who possess strength +of character. What business have they with such a thing? + +Indeed, I remember now. Once and once only did I love a woman who had +a firm will which I was never able to vanquish... We parted as +enemies--and then, perhaps, if I had met her five years later we would +have parted otherwise... + +Vera is ill, very ill, although she does not admit it. I fear she has +consumption, or that disease which is called "fievre lente"--a quite +unRussian disease, and one for which there is no name in our language. + +The storm overtook us while in the grotto and detained us half an hour +longer. Vera did not make me swear fidelity, or ask whether I had loved +others since we had parted... She trusted in me anew with all her former +unconcern, and I will not deceive her: she is the only woman in the +world whom it would never be within my power to deceive. I know that we +shall soon have to part again, and perchance for ever. We will both go +by different ways to the grave, but her memory will remain inviolable +within my soul. I have always repeated this to her, and she believes me, +although she says she does not. + +At length we separated. For a long time I followed her with my eyes, +until her hat was hidden behind the shrubs and rocks. My heart was +painfully contracted, just as after our first parting. Oh, how I +rejoiced in that emotion! Can it be that youth is about to come back to +me, with its salutary tempests, or is this only the farewell glance, the +last gift--in memory of itself?... And to think that, in appearance, +I am still a boy! My face, though pale, is still fresh; my limbs are +supple and slender; my hair is thick and curly, my eyes sparkle, my +blood boils... + +Returning home, I mounted on horseback and galloped to the steppe. I +love to gallop on a fiery horse through the tall grass, in the face of +the desert wind; greedily I gulp down the fragrant air and fix my gaze +upon the blue distance, endeavouring to seize the misty outlines of +objects which every minute grow clearer and clearer. Whatever griefs +oppress my heart, whatever disquietudes torture my thoughts--all are +dispersed in a moment; my soul becomes at ease; the fatigue of the body +vanquishes the disturbance of the mind. There is not a woman's glance +which I would not forget at the sight of the tufted mountains, illumined +by the southern sun; at the sight of the dark-blue sky, or in hearkening +to the roar of the torrent as it falls from cliff to cliff. + +I believe that the Cossacks, yawning on their watch-towers, when they +saw me galloping thus needlessly and aimlessly, were long tormented +by that enigma, because from my dress, I am sure, they took me to be a +Circassian. I have, in fact, been told that when riding on horseback, in +my Circassian costume, I resemble a Kabardian more than many a Kabardian +himself. And, indeed, so far as regards that noble, warlike garb, I am +a perfect dandy. I have not a single piece of gold lace too much; my +weapon is costly, but simply wrought; the fur on my cap is neither too +long nor too short; my leggings and shoes are matched with all possible +accuracy; my tunic is white; my Circassian jacket, dark-brown. I have +long studied the mountaineer seat on horseback, and in no way is it +possible to flatter my vanity so much as by acknowledging my skill in +horsemanship in the Cossack mode. I keep four horses--one for myself and +three for my friends, so that I may not be bored by having to roam about +the fields all alone; they take my horses with pleasure, and never ride +with me. + +It was already six o'clock in the evening, when I remembered that it was +time to dine. My horse was jaded. I rode out on to the road leading +from Pyatigorsk to the German colony, to which the society of the +watering-place frequently rides en piquenique. The road meanders between +bushes and descends into little ravines, through which flow noisy brooks +beneath the shade of tall grasses. All around, in an amphitheatre, +rise the blue masses of Mount Beshtau and the Zmeiny, Zhelezny and Lysy +Mountains. [26] Descending into one of those ravines, I halted to water +my horse. At that moment a noisy and glittering cavalcade made its +appearance upon the road--the ladies in black and dark-blue riding +habits, the cavaliers in costumes which formed a medley of the +Circassian and Nizhegorodian. [27] In front rode Grushnitski with +Princess Mary. + +The ladies at the watering-place still believe in attacks by Circassians +in broad daylight; for that reason, doubtless, Grushnitski had slung +a sabre and a pair of pistols over his soldier's cloak. He looked +ridiculous enough in that heroic attire. + +I was concealed from their sight by a tall bush, but I was able to see +everything through the leaves, and to guess from the expression of their +faces that the conversation was of a sentimental turn. At length +they approached the slope; Grushnitski took hold of the bridle of the +Princess's horse, and then I heard the conclusion of their conversation: + +"And you wish to remain all your life in the Caucasus?" said Princess +Mary. + +"What is Russia to me?" answered her cavalier. "A country in which +thousands of people, because they are richer than I, will look upon me +with contempt, whilst here--here this thick cloak has not prevented my +acquaintance with you"... + +"On the contrary"... said Princess Mary, blushing. + +Grushnitski's face was a picture of delight. He continued: + +"Here, my life will flow along noisily, unobserved, and rapidly, under +the bullets of the savages, and if Heaven were every year to send me a +single bright glance from a woman's eyes--like that which--" + +At that moment they came up to where I was. I struck my horse with the +whip and rode out from behind the bush... + +"Mon Dieu, un circassien!"... exclaimed Princess Mary in terror. + +In order completely to undeceive her, I replied in French, with a slight +bow: + +"Ne craignez rien, madame, je ne suis pas plus dangereux que votre +cavalier"... + +She grew embarrassed--but at what? At her own mistake, or because my +answer struck her as insolent? I should like the latter hypothesis to be +correct. Grushnitski cast a discontented glance at me. + +Late in the evening, that is to say, about eleven o'clock, I went for a +walk in the lilac avenue of the boulevard. The town was sleeping; lights +were gleaming in only a few windows. On three sides loomed the black +ridges of the cliffs, the spurs of Mount Mashuk, upon the summit of +which an ominous cloud was lying. The moon was rising in the east; in +the distance, the snow-clad mountains glistened like a fringe of silver. +The calls of the sentries mingled at intervals with the roar of the hot +springs let flow for the night. At times the loud clattering of a horse +rang out along the street, accompanied by the creaking of a Nagai wagon +and the plaintive burden of a Tartar song. + +I sat down upon a bench and fell into a reverie... I felt the necessity +of pouring forth my thoughts in friendly conversation... But with +whom?... + +"What is Vera doing now?" I wondered. + +I would have given much to press her hand at that moment. + +All at once I heard rapid and irregular steps... Grushnitski, no +doubt!... So it was! + +"Where have you come from?" + +"From Princess Ligovski's," he said very importantly. "How well Mary +does sing!"... + +"Do you know?" I said to him. "I wager that she does not know that you +are a cadet. She thinks you are an officer reduced to the ranks"... + +"Maybe so. What is that to me!"... he said absently. + +"No, I am only saying so"... + +"But, do you know that you have made her terribly angry to-day? She +considered it an unheard-of piece of insolence. It was only with +difficulty that I was able to convince her that you are so well bred +and know society so well that you could not have had any intention of +insulting her. She says that you have an impudent glance, and that you +have certainly a very high opinion of yourself." + +"She is not mistaken... But do you not want to defend her?" + +"I am sorry I have not yet the right to do so"... + +"Oho!" I said to myself, "evidently he has hopes already." + +"However, it is the worse for you," continued Grushnitski; "it will be +difficult for you to make their acquaintance now, and what a pity! It is +one of the most agreeable houses I know"... + +I smiled inwardly. + +"The most agreeable house to me now is my own," I said, with a yawn, and +I got up to go. + +"Confess, though, you repent?"... + +"What nonsense! If I like I will be at Princess Ligovski's to-morrow +evening!"... + +"We shall see"... + +"I will even begin to pay my addresses to Princess Mary, if you would +like me to"... + +"Yes, if she is willing to speak to you"... + +"I am only awaiting the moment when she will be bored by your +conversation... Goodbye"... + +"Well, I am going for a stroll; I could not go to sleep now for +anything... Look here, let us go to the restaurant instead, there is +cardplaying going on there... What I need now is violent sensations"... + +"I hope you will lose"... + +I went home. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. 21st May. + +NEARLY a week has passed, and I have not yet made the Ligovskis' +acquaintance. I am awaiting a convenient opportunity. Grushnitski +follows Princess Mary everywhere like a shadow. Their conversations are +interminable; but, when will she be tired of him?... Her mother pays no +attention, because he is not a man who is in a position to marry. Behold +the logic of mothers! I have caught two or three tender glances--this +must be put a stop to. + +Yesterday, for the first time, Vera made her appearance at the well... +She has never gone out of doors since we met in the grotto. We let down +our tumblers at the same time, and as she bent forward she whispered to +me: + +"You are not going to make the Ligovskis' acquaintance?... It is only +there that we can meet"... + +A reproach!... How tiresome! But I have deserved it... + +By the way, there is a subscription ball tomorrow in the saloon of the +restaurant, and I will dance the mazurka with Princess Mary. + + + + +CHAPTER V. 29th May. + +THE saloon of the restaurant was converted into the assembly room of a +Nobles' Club. The company met at nine o'clock. Princess Ligovski and her +daughter were amongst the latest to make their appearance. Several of +the ladies looked at Princess Mary with envy and malevolence, +because she dresses with taste. Those who look upon themselves as the +aristocracy of the place concealed their envy and attached themselves to +her train. What else could be expected? Wherever there is a gathering +of women, the company is immediately divided into a higher and a lower +circle. + +Beneath the window, amongst a crowd of people, stood Grushnitski, +pressing his face to the pane and never taking his eyes off his +divinity. As she passed by, she gave him a hardly perceptible nod. He +beamed like the sun... The first dance was a polonaise, after which the +musicians struck up a waltz. Spurs began to jingle, and skirts to rise +and whirl. + +I was standing behind a certain stout lady who was overshadowed by +rose-coloured feathers. The magnificence of her dress reminded me of the +times of the farthingale, and the motley hue of her by no means smooth +skin, of the happy epoch of the black taffeta patch. An immense wart +on her neck was covered by a clasp. She was saying to her cavalier, a +captain of dragoons: + +"That young Princess Ligovski is a most intolerable creature! Just +fancy, she jostled against me and did not apologise, but even turned +round and stared at me through her lorgnette!... C'est impayable!... And +what has she to be proud of? It is time somebody gave her a lesson"... + +"That will be easy enough," replied the obliging captain, and he +directed his steps to the other room. + +I went up to Princess Mary immediately, and, availing myself of the +local customs which allowed one to dance with a stranger, I invited her +to waltz with me. + +She was scarcely able to keep from smiling and letting her triumph be +seen; but quickly enough she succeeded in assuming an air of perfect +indifference and even severity. Carelessly she let her hand fall upon my +shoulder, inclined her head slightly to one side, and we began to dance. +I have never known a waist more voluptuous and supple! Her fresh breath +touched my face; at times a lock of hair, becoming separated from its +companions in the eddy of the waltz, glided over my burning cheek... + +I made three turns of the ballroom (she waltzes surprisingly well). +She was out of breath, her eyes were dulled, her half-open lips were +scarcely able to whisper the indispensable: "merci, monsieur." + +After a few moments' silence I said to her, assuming a very humble air: + +"I have heard, Princess, that although quite unacquainted with you, I +have already had the misfortune to incur your displeasure... that you +have considered me insolent. Can that possibly true?" + +"Would you like to confirm me in that opinion now?" she answered, +with an ironical little grimace--very becoming, however, to her mobile +countenance. + +"If I had the audacity to insult you in any way, then allow me to have +the still greater audacity to beg your pardon... And, indeed, I should +very much like to prove to you that you are mistaken in regard to me"... + +"You will find that a rather difficult task"... + +"But why?"... + +"Because you never visit us and, most likely, there will not be many +more of these balls." + +"That means," I thought, "that their doors are closed to me for ever." + +"You know, Princess," I said to her, with a certain amount of vexation, +"one should never spurn a penitent criminal: in his despair he may +become twice as much a criminal as before... and then"... + +Sudden laughter and whispering from the people around us caused me to +turn my head and to interrupt my phrase. A few paces away from me stood +a group of men, amongst them the captain of dragoons, who had manifested +intentions hostile to the charming Princess. He was particularly well +pleased with something or other, and was rubbing his hands, laughing and +exchanging meaning glances with his companions. All at once a gentleman +in an evening-dress coat and with long moustaches and a red face +separated himself from the crowd and directed his uncertain steps +straight towards Princess Mary. He was drunk. Coming to a halt opposite +the embarrassed Princess and placing his hands behind his back, he fixed +his dull grey eyes upon her, and said in a hoarse treble: + +"Permettez... but what is the good of that sort of thing here... All I +need say is: I engage you for the mazurka"... + +"Very well!" she replied in a trembling voice, throwing a beseeching +glance around. Alas! Her mother was a long way off, and not one of +the cavaliers of her acquaintance was near. A certain aide-de-camp +apparently saw the whole scene, but he concealed himself behind the +crowd in order not to be mixed up in the affair. + +"What?" said the drunken gentleman, winking to the captain of dragoons, +who was encouraging him by signs. "Do you not wish to dance then?... All +the same I again have the honour to engage you for the mazurka... You +think, perhaps, that I am drunk! That is all right!... I can dance all +the easier, I assure you"... + +I saw that she was on the point of fainting with fright and indignation. + +I went up to the drunken gentleman, caught him none too gently by the +arm, and, looking him fixedly in the face, requested him to retire. +"Because," I added, "the Princess promised long ago to dance the mazurka +with me." + +"Well, then, there's nothing to be done! Another time!" he said, +bursting out laughing, and he retired to his abashed companions, who +immediately conducted him into another room. + +I was rewarded by a deep, wondrous glance. + +The Princess went up to her mother and told her the whole story. The +latter sought me out among the crowd and thanked me. She informed me +that she knew my mother and was on terms of friendship with half a dozen +of my aunts. + +"I do not know how it has happened that we have not made your +acquaintance up to now," she added; "but confess, you alone are to blame +for that. You fight shy of everyone in a positively unseemly way. I hope +the air of my drawingroom will dispel your spleen... Do you not think +so?" + +I uttered one of the phrases which everybody must have ready for such an +occasion. + +The quadrilles dragged on a dreadfully long time. + +At last the music struck up from the gallery, Princess Mary and I took +up our places. + +I did not once allude to the drunken gentleman, or to my previous +behaviour, or to Grushnitski. The impression produced upon her by the +unpleasant scene was gradually dispelled; her face brightened up; she +jested very charmingly; her conversation was witty, without pretensions +to wit, vivacious and spontaneous; her observations were sometimes +profound... In a very involved sentence I gave her to understand that I +had liked her for a long time. She bent her head and blushed slightly. + +"You are a strange man!" she said, with a forced laugh, lifting her +velvet eyes upon me. + +"I did not wish to make your acquaintance," I continued, "because you +are surrounded by too dense a throng of adorers, in which I was afraid +of being lost to sight altogether." + +"You need not have been afraid; they are all very tiresome"... + +"All? Not all, surely?" + +She looked fixedly at me as if endeavouring to recollect something, then +blushed slightly again and finally pronounced with decision: + +"All!" + +"Even my friend, Grushnitski?" + +"But is he your friend?" she said, manifesting some doubt. + +"Yes." + +"He, of course, does not come into the category of the tiresome"... + +"But into that of the unfortunate!" I said, laughing. + +"Of course! But do you consider that funny? I should like you to be in +his place"... + +"Well? I was once a cadet myself, and, in truth, it was the best time of +my life!" + +"Is he a cadet, then?"... she said rapidly, and then added: "But I +thought"... + +"What did you think?"... + +"Nothing! Who is that lady?" + +Thereupon the conversation took a different direction, and it did not +return to the former subject. + +And now the mazurka came to an end and we separated--until we should +meet again. The ladies drove off in different directions. I went to get +some supper, and met Werner. + +"Aha!" he said: "so it is you! And yet you did not wish to make the +acquaintance of Princess Mary otherwise than by saving her from certain +death." + +"I have done better," I replied. "I have saved her from fainting at the +ball"... + +"How was that? Tell me." + +"No, guess!--O, you who guess everything in the world!" + + + + +CHAPTER VI. 30th May. + +ABOUT seven o'clock in the evening, I was walking on the boulevard. +Grushnitski perceived me a long way off, and came up to me. A sort of +ridiculous rapture was shining in his eyes. He pressed my hand warmly, +and said in a tragic voice: + +"I thank you, Pechorin... You understand me?" + +"No; but in any case it is not worth gratitude," I answered, not having, +in fact, any good deed upon my conscience. + +"What? But yesterday! Have you forgotten?... Mary has told me +everything"... + +"Why! Have you everything in common so soon as this? Even gratitude?"... + +"Listen," said Grushnitski very earnestly; "pray do not make fun of +my love, if you wish to remain my friend... You see, I love her to the +point of madness... and I think--I hope--she loves me too... I have a +request to make of you. You will be at their house this evening; promise +me to observe everything. I know you are experienced in these matters, +you know women better than I... Women! Women! Who can understand them? +Their smiles contradict their glances, their words promise and allure, +but the tone of their voice repels... At one time they grasp and divine +in a moment our most secret thoughts, at another they cannot understand +the clearest hints... Take Princess Mary, now: yesterday her eyes, as +they rested upon me, were blazing with passion; to-day they are dull and +cold"... + +"That is possibly the result of the waters," I replied. + +"You see the bad side of everything... materialist," he added +contemptuously. "However, let us talk of other matters." + +And, satisfied with his bad pun, he cheered up. + +At nine o'clock we went to Princess Ligovski's together. + +Passing by Vera's windows, I saw her looking out. We threw a fleeting +glance at each other. She entered the Ligovskis' drawing-room soon after +us. Princess Ligovski presented me to her, as a relation of her own. Tea +was served. The guests were numerous, and the conversation was general. +I endeavoured to please the Princess, jested, and made her laugh +heartily a few times. Princess Mary, also, was more than once on the +point of bursting out laughing, but she restrained herself in order not +to depart from the role she had assumed. She finds languor becoming to +her, and perhaps she is not mistaken. Grushnitski appears to be very +glad that she is not infected by my gaiety. + +After tea we all went into the drawingroom. + +"Are you satisfied with my obedience, Vera?" I said as I was passing +her. + +She threw me a glance full of love and gratitude. I have grown +accustomed to such glances; but at one time they constituted my +felicity. The Princess seated her daughter at the pianoforte, and all +the company begged her to sing. I kept silence, and, taking advantage +of the hubbub, I went aside to the window with Vera, who wished to +say something of great importance to both of us... It turned out to +be--nonsense... + +Meanwhile my indifference was vexing Princess Mary, as I was able to +make out from a single angry, gleaming glance which she cast at me... +Oh! I understand the method of conversation wonderfully well: mute but +expressive, brief but forceful!... + +She began to sing. She has a good voice, but she sings badly... However, +I was not listening. + +Grushnitski, on the contrary, leaning his elbows on the grand piano, +facing her, was devouring her with his eyes and saying in an undertone +every minute: "Charmant! Delicieux!" + +"Listen," said Vera to me, "I do not wish you to make my husband's +acquaintance, but you must, without fail, make yourself agreeable to +the Princess; that will be an easy task for you: you can do anything you +wish. It is only here that we shall see each other"... + +"Only here?"... + +She blushed and continued: + +"You know that I am your slave: I have never been able to resist you... +and I shall be punished for it, you will cease to love me! At least, +I want to preserve my reputation... not for myself--that you know very +well!... Oh! I beseech you: do not torture me, as before, with idle +doubts and feigned coldness! It may be that I shall die soon; I feel +that I am growing weaker from day to day... And, yet, I cannot think of +the future life, I think only of you... You men do not understand the +delights of a glance, of a pressure of the hand... but as for me, I +swear to you that, when I listen to your voice, I feel such a deep, +strange bliss that the most passionate kisses could not take its place." + +Meanwhile, Princess Mary had finished her song. Murmurs of praise were +to be heard all around. I went up to her after all the other guests, and +said something rather carelessly to her on the subject of her voice. + +She made a little grimace, pouting her lower lip, and dropped a very +sarcastic curtsey. + +"That is all the more flattering," she said, "because you have not been +listening to me at all; but perhaps you do not like music?"... + +"On the contrary, I do... After dinner, especially." + +"Grushnitski is right in saying that you have very prosaic tastes... and +I see that you like music in a gastronomic respect." + +"You are mistaken again: I am by no means an epicure. I have a most +wretched digestion. But music after dinner puts one to sleep, and +to sleep after dinner is healthful; consequently I like music in a +medicinal respect. In the evening, on the contrary, it excites my nerves +too much: I become either too melancholy or too gay. Both are fatiguing, +where there is no positive reason for being either sorrowful or glad. +And, moreover, melancholy in society is ridiculous, and too great gaiety +is unbecoming"... + +She did not hear me to the end, but went away and sat beside +Grushnitski, and they entered into a sort of sentimental conversation. +Apparently the Princess answered his sage phrases rather absent-mindedly +and inconsequently, although endeavouring to show that she was +listening to him with attention, because sometimes he looked at her in +astonishment, trying to divine the cause of the inward agitation which +was expressed at times in her restless glance... + +But I have found you out, my dear Princess! Have a care! You want to pay +me back in the same coin, to wound my vanity--you will not succeed! And +if you declare war on me, I will be merciless! + +In the course of the evening, I purposely tried a few times to join in +their conversation, but she met my remarks rather coldly, and, at +last, I retired in pretended vexation. Princess Mary was triumphant, +Grushnitski likewise. Triumph, my friends, and be quick about it!... +You will not have long to triumph!... It cannot be otherwise. I have +a presentiment... On making a woman's acquaintance I have always +unerringly guessed whether she would fall in love with me or not. + +The remaining part of the evening I spent at Vera's side, and talked to +the full about the old days... Why does she love me so much? In truth, I +am unable to say, all the more so because she is the only woman who +has understood me perfectly, with all my petty weaknesses and evil +passions... Can it be that wickedness is so attractive?... + +Grushnitski and I left the house together. In the street he took my arm, +and, after a long silence, said: + +"Well?" + +"You are a fool," I should have liked to answer. But I restrained myself +and only shrugged my shoulders. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. 6th June. + +ALL these days I have not once departed from my system. Princess Mary +has come to like talking to me; I have told her a few of the +strange events of my life, and she is beginning to look on me as +an extraordinary man. I mock at everything in the world, especially +feelings; and she is taking alarm. When I am present, she does not dare +to embark upon sentimental discussions with Grushnitski, and already, on +a few occasions, she has answered his sallies with a mocking smile. But +every time that Grushnitski comes up to her I assume an air of meekness +and leave the two of them together. On the first occasion, she was glad, +or tried to make it appear so; on the second, she was angry with me; on +the third--with Grushnitski. + +"You have very little vanity!" she said to me yesterday. "What makes you +think that I find Grushnitski the more entertaining?" + +I answered that I was sacrificing my own pleasure for the sake of the +happiness of a friend. + +"And my pleasure, too," she added. + +I looked at her intently and assumed a serious air. After that for the +whole day I did not speak a single word to her... In the evening, she +was pensive; this morning, at the well, more pensive still. When I went +up to her, she was listening absent-mindedly to Grushnitski, who was +apparently falling into raptures about Nature, but, so soon as +she perceived me, she began to laugh--at a most inopportune +moment--pretending not to notice me. I went on a little further and +began stealthily to observe her. She turned away from her companion and +yawned twice. Decidedly she had grown tired of Grushnitski--I will not +talk to her for another two days. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. 11th June. + +I OFTEN ask myself why I am so obstinately endeavouring to win the love +of a young girl whom I do not wish to deceive, and whom I will never +marry. Why this woman-like coquetry? Vera loves me more than Princess +Mary ever will. Had I regarded the latter as an invincible beauty, I +should perhaps have been allured by the difficulty of the undertaking... + +However, there is no such difficulty in this case! Consequently, my +present feeling is not that restless craving for love which torments us +in the early days of our youth, flinging us from one woman to +another until we find one who cannot endure us. And then begins our +constancy--that sincere, unending passion which may be expressed +mathematically by a line falling from a point into space--the secret of +that endlessness lying only in the impossibility of attaining the aim, +that is to say, the end. + +From what motive, then, am I taking all this trouble?--Envy of +Grushnitski? Poor fellow! + +He is quite undeserving of it. Or, is it the result of that ugly, but +invincible, feeling which causes us to destroy the sweet illusions of +our neighbour in order to have the petty satisfaction of saying to him, +when, in despair, he asks what he is to believe: + +"My friend, the same thing happened to me, and you see, nevertheless, +that I dine, sup, and sleep very peacefully, and I shall, I hope, know +how to die without tears and lamentations." + +There is, in sooth, a boundless enjoyment in the possession of a young, +scarce-budded soul! It is like a floweret which exhales its best perfume +at the kiss of the first ray of the sun. You should pluck the flower at +that moment, and, breathing its fragrance to the full, cast it upon the +road: perchance someone will pick it up! I feel within me that insatiate +hunger which devours everything it meets upon the way; I look upon +the sufferings and joys of others only from the point of view of their +relation to myself, regarding them as the nutriment which sustains my +spiritual forces. I myself am no longer capable of committing follies +under the influence of passion; with me, ambition has been repressed by +circumstances, but it has emerged in another form, because ambition is +nothing more nor less than a thirst for power, and my chief pleasure is +to make everything that surrounds me subject to my will. To arouse the +feeling of love, devotion and awe towards oneself--is not that the first +sign, and the greatest triumph, of power? To be the cause of suffering +and joy to another--without in the least possessing any definite right +to be so--is not that the sweetest food for our pride? And what is +happiness?--Satisfied pride. Were I to consider myself the best, the +most powerful man in the world, I should be happy; were all to love me, +I should find within me inexhaustible springs of love. Evil begets +evil; the first suffering gives us the conception of the satisfaction +of torturing another. The idea of evil cannot enter the mind without +arousing a desire to put it actually into practice. "Ideas are organic +entities," someone has said. The very fact of their birth endows them +with form, and that form is action. He in whose brain the most ideas +are born accomplishes the most. From that cause a genius, chained to an +official desk, must die or go mad, just as it often happens that a man +of powerful constitution, and at the same time of sedentary life and +simple habits, dies of an apoplectic stroke. + +Passions are naught but ideas in their first development; they are an +attribute of the youth of the heart, and foolish is he who thinks that +he will be agitated by them all his life. Many quiet rivers begin their +course as noisy waterfalls, and there is not a single stream which will +leap or foam throughout its way to the sea. That quietness, however, is +frequently the sign of great, though latent, strength. The fulness and +depth of feelings and thoughts do not admit of frenzied outbursts. In +suffering and in enjoyment the soul renders itself a strict account of +all it experiences and convinces itself that such things must be. It +knows that, but for storms, the constant heat of the sun would dry it +up! It imbues itself with its own life--pets and punishes itself like a +favourite child. It is only in that highest state of self-knowledge that +a man can appreciate the divine justice. + +On reading over this page, I observe that I have made a wide digression +from my subject... But what matter?... You see, it is for myself that I +am writing this diary, and, consequently anything that I jot down in it +will in time be a valuable reminiscence for me. + + . . . . . + +Grushnitski has called to see me to-day. He flung himself upon my neck; +he has been promoted to be an officer. We drank champagne. Doctor Werner +came in after him. + +"I do not congratulate you," he said to Grushnitski. + +"Why not?" + +"Because the soldier's cloak suits you very well, and you must confess +that an infantry uniform, made by one of the local tailors, will not add +anything of interest to you... Do you not see? Hitherto, you have been +an exception, but now you will come under the general rule." + +"Talk away, doctor, talk away! You will not prevent me from rejoicing. +He does not know," added Grushnitski in a whisper to me, "how many hopes +these epaulettes have lent me... Oh!... Epaulettes, epaulettes! Your +little stars are guiding stars! No! I am perfectly happy now!" + +"Are you coming with us on our walk to the hollow?" I asked him. + +"I? Not on any account will I show myself to Princess Mary until my +uniform is finished." + +"Would you like me to inform her of your happiness?" + +"No, please, not a word... I want to give her a surprise"... + +"Tell me, though, how are you getting on with her?" + +He became embarrassed, and fell into thought; he would gladly have +bragged and told lies, but his conscience would not let him; and, at the +same time, he was ashamed to confess the truth. + +"What do you think? Does she love you?"... + +"Love me? Good gracious, Pechorin, what ideas you do have!... How could +she possibly love me so soon?... And a well-bred woman, even if she is +in love, will never say so"... + +"Very well! And, I suppose, in your opinion, a well-bred man should also +keep silence in regard to his passion?"... + +"Ah, my dear fellow! There are ways of doing everything; often things +may remain unspoken, but yet may be guessed"... + +"That is true... But the love which we read in the eyes does not pledge +a woman to anything, whilst words... Have a care, Grushnitski, she is +befooling you!" + +"She?" he answered, raising his eyes heavenward and smiling +complacently. "I am sorry for you, Pechorin!"... + +He took his departure. + +In the evening, a numerous company set off to walk to the hollow. + +In the opinion of the learned of Pyatigorsk, the hollow in question is +nothing more nor less than an extinct crater. It is situated on a +slope of Mount Mashuk, at the distance of a verst from the town, and is +approached by a narrow path between brushwood and rocks. In climbing up +the hill, I gave Princess Mary my arm, and she did not leave it during +the whole excursion. + +Our conversation commenced with slander; I proceeded to pass in +review our present and absent acquaintances; at first I exposed their +ridiculous, and then their bad, sides. My choler rose. I began in jest, +and ended in genuine malice. At first she was amused, but afterwards +frightened. + +"You are a dangerous man!" she said. "I would rather perish in the +woods under the knife of an assassin than under your tongue... In all +earnestness I beg of you: when it comes into your mind to speak evil of +me, take a knife instead and cut my throat. I think you would not find +that a very difficult matter." + +"Am I like an assassin, then?"... + +"You are worse"... + +I fell into thought for a moment; then, assuming a deeply moved air, I +said: + +"Yes, such has been my lot from very childhood! All have read upon my +countenance the marks of bad qualities, which were not existent; but +they were assumed to exist--and they were born. I was modest--I was +accused of slyness: I grew secretive. I profoundly felt both good and +evil--no one caressed me, all insulted me: I grew vindictive. I was +gloomy--other children merry and talkative; I felt myself higher than +they--I was rated lower: I grew envious. I was prepared to love the +whole world--no one understood me: I learned to hate. My colourless +youth flowed by in conflict with myself and the world; fearing ridicule, +I buried my best feelings in the depths of my heart, and there they +died. I spoke the truth--I was not believed: I began to deceive. Having +acquired a thorough knowledge of the world and the springs of society, I +grew skilled in the science of life; and I saw how others without skill +were happy, enjoying gratuitously the advantages which I so unweariedly +sought. Then despair was born within my breast--not that despair which +is cured at the muzzle of a pistol, but the cold, powerless despair +concealed beneath the mask of amiability and a good-natured smile. I +became a moral cripple. One half of my soul ceased to exist; it dried +up, evaporated, died, and I cut it off and cast it from me. The other +half moved and lived--at the service of all; but it remained unobserved, +because no one knew that the half which had perished had ever existed. +But, now, the memory of it has been awakened within me by you, and I +have read you its epitaph. To many, epitaphs in general seem ridiculous, +but to me they do not; especially when I remember what reposes beneath +them. I will not, however, ask you to share my opinion. If this outburst +seems absurd to you, I pray you, laugh! I forewarn you that your +laughter will not cause me the least chagrin." + +At that moment I met her eyes: tears were welling in them. Her arm, as +it leaned upon mine, was trembling; her cheeks were aflame; she pitied +me! Sympathy--a feeling to which all women yield so easily, had dug its +talons into her inexperienced heart. During the whole excursion she was +preoccupied, and did not flirt with anyone--and that is a great sign! + +We arrived at the hollow; the ladies left their cavaliers, but she did +not let go my arm. The witticisms of the local dandies failed to make +her laugh; the steepness of the declivity beside which she was standing +caused her no alarm, although the other ladies uttered shrill cries and +shut their eyes. + +On the way back, I did not renew our melancholy conversation, but to my +idle questions and jests she gave short and absent-minded answers. + +"Have you ever been in love?" I asked her at length. + +She looked at me intently, shook her head and again fell into a reverie. +It was evident that she was wishing to say something, but did not know +how to begin. Her breast heaved... And, indeed, that was but natural! +A muslin sleeve is a weak protection, and an electric spark was running +from my arm to hers. Almost all passions have their beginning in that +way, and frequently we are very much deceived in thinking that a woman +loves us for our moral and physical merits; of course, these prepare and +predispose the heart for the reception of the holy flame, but for all +that it is the first touch that decides the matter. + +"I have been very amiable to-day, have I not?" Princess Mary said to me, +with a forced smile, when we had returned from the walk. + +We separated. + +She is dissatisfied with herself. She accuses herself of coldness... Oh, +that is the first, the chief triumph! + +To-morrow, she will be feeling a desire to recompense me. I know the +whole proceeding by heart already--that is what is so tiresome! + + + + +CHAPTER IX. 12th June. + +I HAVE seen Vera to-day. She has begun to plague me with her jealousy. +Princess Mary has taken it into her head, it seems, to confide the +secrets of her heart to Vera: a happy choice, it must be confessed! + +"I can guess what all this is leading to," said Vera to me. "You had +better simply tell me at once that you are in love with her." + +"But supposing I am not in love with her?" + +"Then why run after her, disturb her, agitate her imagination!... Oh, I +know you well! Listen--if you wish me to believe you, come to Kislovodsk +in a week's time; we shall be moving thither the day after to-morrow. +Princess Mary will remain here longer. Engage lodgings next door to us. +We shall be living in the large house near the spring, on the mezzanine +floor. Princess Ligovski will be below us, and next door there is a +house belonging to the same landlord, which has not yet been taken... +Will you come?"... + +I gave my promise, and this very same day I have sent to engage the +lodgings. + +Grushnitski came to me at six o'clock and announced that his uniform +would be ready to-morrow, just in time for him to go to the ball in it. + +"At last I shall dance with her the whole evening through... And then I +shall talk to my heart's content," he added. + +"When is the ball?" + +"Why, to-morrow! Do you not know, then? A great festival--and the local +authorities have undertaken to organize it"... + +"Let us go to the boulevard"... + +"Not on any account, in this nasty cloak"... + +"What! Have you ceased to love it?"... + +I went out alone, and, meeting Princess Mary I asked her to keep the +mazurka for me. She seemed surprised and delighted. + +"I thought that you would only dance from necessity as on the last +occasion," she said, with a very charming smile... + +She does not seem to notice Grushnitski's absence at all. + +"You will be agreeably surprised to-morrow," I said to her. + +"At what?" + +"That is a secret... You will find it out yourself, at the ball." + +I finished up the evening at Princess Ligovski's; there were no other +guests present except Vera and a certain very amusing, little old +gentleman. I was in good spirits, and improvised various extraordinary +stories. Princess Mary sat opposite me and listened to my nonsense with +such deep, strained, and even tender attention that I grew ashamed of +myself. What had become of her vivacity, her coquetry, her caprices, her +haughty mien, her contemptuous smile, her absentminded glance?... + +Vera noticed everything, and her sickly countenance was a picture of +profound grief. She was sitting in the shadow by the window, buried in a +wide arm-chair... I pitied her. + +Then I related the whole dramatic story of our acquaintanceship, our +love--concealing it all, of course, under fictitious names. + +So vividly did I portray my tenderness, my anxieties, my raptures; in +so favourable a light did I exhibit her actions and her character, that +involuntarily she had to forgive me for my flirtation with Princess +Mary. + +She rose, sat down beside us, and brightened up... and it was only +at two o'clock in the morning that we remembered that the doctors had +ordered her to go to bed at eleven. + + + + +CHAPTER X. 13th June. + +HALF an hour before the ball, Grushnitski presented himself to me in +the full splendour of the uniform of the Line infantry. Attached to +his third button was a little bronze chain, on which hung a double +lorgnette. Epaulettes of incredible size were bent backwards and upwards +in the shape of a cupid's wings; his boots creaked; in his left hand he +held cinnamon-coloured kid gloves and a forage-cap, and with his right he +kept every moment twisting his frizzled tuft of hair up into tiny curls. +Complacency and at the same time a certain diffidence were depicted upon +his face. His festal appearance and proud gait would have made me +burst out laughing, if such a proceeding had been in accordance with my +intentions. + +He threw his cap and gloves on the table and began to pull down +the skirts of his coat and to put himself to rights before the +looking-glass. An enormous black handkerchief, which was twisted into a +very high stiffener for his cravat, and the bristles of which supported +his chin, stuck out an inch over his collar. It seemed to him to be +rather small, and he drew it up as far as his ears. As a result of +that hard work--the collar of his uniform being very tight and +uncomfortable--he grew red in the face. + +"They say you have been courting my princess terribly these last few +days?" he said, rather carelessly and without looking at me. + +"'Where are we fools to drink tea!'" [271] I answered, repeating a pet +phrase of one of the cleverest rogues of past times, once celebrated in +song by Pushkin. + +"Tell me, does my uniform fit me well?... Oh, the cursed Jew!... How it +cuts me under the armpits!... Have you got any scent?" + +"Good gracious, what more do you want? You are reeking of rose pomade as +it is." + +"Never mind. Give me some"... + +He poured half a phial over his cravat, his pocket-handkerchief, his +sleeves. + +"You are going to dance?" he asked. + +"I think not." + +"I am afraid I shall have to lead off the mazurka with Princess Mary, +and I scarcely know a single figure"... + +"Have you asked her to dance the mazurka with you?" + +"Not yet"... + +"Mind you are not forestalled"... + +"Just so, indeed!" he said, striking his forehead. "Good-bye... I will +go and wait for her at the entrance." + +He seized his forage-cap and ran. + +Half an hour later I also set off. The street was dark and deserted. +Around the assembly rooms, or inn--whichever you prefer--people were +thronging. The windows were lighted up, the strains of the regimental +band were borne to me on the evening breeze. I walked slowly; I felt +melancholy. + +"Can it be possible," I thought, "that my sole mission on earth is to +destroy the hopes of others? Ever since I began to live and to act, it +seems always to have been my fate to play a part in the ending of other +people's dramas, as if, but for me, no one could either die or fall +into despair! I have been the indispensable person of the fifth act; +unwillingly I have played the pitiful part of an executioner or a +traitor. What object has fate had in this?... Surely, I have not been +appointed by destiny to be an author of middle-class tragedies and family +romances, or to be a collaborator with the purveyor of stories--for the +'Reader's Library,' [272] for example?... How can I tell?... Are there +not many people who, in beginning life, think to end it like Lord Byron +or Alexander the Great, and, nevertheless, remain Titular Councillors +[273] all their days?" + +Entering the saloon, I concealed myself in a crowd of men, and began to +make my observations. + +Grushnitski was standing beside Princess Mary and saying something with +great warmth. She was listening to him absent-mindedly and looking about +her, her fan laid to her lips. Impatience was depicted upon her face, +her eyes were searching all around for somebody. I went softly behind +them in order to listen to their conversation. + +"You torture me, Princess!" Grushnitski was saying. "You have changed +dreadfully since I saw you last"... + +"You, too, have changed," she answered, casting a rapid glance at him, +in which he was unable to detect the latent sneer. + +"I! Changed?... Oh, never! You know that such a thing is impossible! +Whoever has seen you once will bear your divine image with him for +ever." + +"Stop"... + +"But why will you not let me say to-night what you have so often +listened to with condescension--and just recently, too?"... + +"Because I do not like repetitions," she answered, laughing. + +"Oh! I have been bitterly mistaken!... I thought, fool that I was, that +these epaulettes, at least, would give me the right to hope... No, +it would have been better for me to have remained for ever in that +contemptible soldier's cloak, to which, probably, I was indebted for +your attention"... + +"As a matter of fact, the cloak is much more becoming to you"... + +At that moment I went up and bowed to Princess Mary. She blushed a +little, and went on rapidly: + +"Is it not true, Monsieur Pechorin, that the grey cloak suits Monsieur +Grushnitski much better?"... + +"I do not agree with you," I answered: "he is more youthful-looking +still in his uniform." + +That was a blow which Grushnitski could not bear: like all boys, he +has pretensions to being an old man; he thinks that the deep traces +of passions upon his countenance take the place of the lines scored by +Time. He cast a furious glance at me, stamped his foot, and took himself +off. + +"Confess now," I said to Princess Mary: "that although he has always +been most ridiculous, yet not so long ago he seemed to you to be +interesting... in the grey cloak?"... + +She cast her eyes down and made no reply. + +Grushnitski followed the Princess about during the whole evening and +danced either with her or vis-a-vis. He devoured her with his eyes, +sighed, and wearied her with prayers and reproaches. After the third +quadrille she had begun to hate him. + +"I did not expect this from you," he said, coming up to me and taking my +arm. + +"What?" + +"You are going to dance the mazurka with her?" he asked in a solemn +tone. "She admitted it"... + +"Well, what then? It is not a secret, is it"? + +"Of course not... I ought to have expected such a thing from that +chit--that flirt... I will have my revenge, though!" + +"You should lay the blame on your cloak, or your epaulettes, but why +accuse her? What fault is it of hers that she does not like you any +longer?"... + +"But why give me hopes?" + +"Why did you hope? To desire and to strive after something--that I can +understand! But who ever hopes?" + +"You have won the wager, but not quite," he said, with a malignant +smile. + +The mazurka began. Grushnitski chose no one but the Princess, other +cavaliers chose her every minute: obviously a conspiracy against me--all +the better! She wants to talk to me, they are preventing her--she will +want to twice as much. + +I squeezed her hand once or twice; the second time she drew it away +without saying a word. + +"I shall sleep badly to-night," she said to me when the mazurka was +over. + +"Grushnitski is to blame for that." + +"Oh, no!" + +And her face became so pensive, so sad, that I promised myself that I +would not fail to kiss her hand that evening. + +The guests began to disperse. As I was handing Princess Mary into her +carriage, I rapidly pressed her little hand to my lips. The night was +dark and nobody could see. + +I returned to the saloon very well satisfied with myself. + +The young men, Grushnitski amongst them, were having supper at the +large table. As I came in, they all fell silent: evidently they had been +talking about me. Since the last ball many of them have been sulky with +me, especially the captain of dragoons; and now, it seems, a hostile +gang is actually being formed against me, under the command of +Grushnitski. He wears such a proud and courageous air... + +I am very glad; I love enemies, though not in the Christian sense. They +amuse me, stir my blood. To be always on one's guard, to catch every +glance, the meaning of every word, to guess intentions, to crush +conspiracies, to pretend to be deceived and suddenly with one blow +to overthrow the whole immense and laboriously constructed edifice of +cunning and design--that is what I call life. + +During supper Grushnitski kept whispering and exchanging winks with the +captain of dragoons. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. 14th June. + +VERA and her husband left this morning for Kislovodsk. I met their +carriage as I was walking to Princess Ligovski's. Vera nodded to me: +reproach was in her glance. + +Who is to blame, then? Why will she not give me an opportunity of +seeing her alone? Love is like fire--if not fed it dies out. Perchance, +jealousy will accomplish what my entreaties have failed to do. + +I stayed a whole hour at Princess Ligovski's. Mary has not been out, she +is ill. In the evening she was not on the boulevard. The newly formed +gang, armed with lorgnettes, has in very fact assumed a menacing aspect. +I am glad that Princess Mary is ill; they might be guilty of some +impertinence towards her. Grushnitski goes about with dishevelled locks, +and wears an appearance of despair: he is evidently afflicted, as a +matter of fact; his vanity especially has been injured. But, you see, +there are some people in whom even despair is diverting!... + +On my way home I noticed that something was lacking. I have not seen +her! She is ill! Surely I have not fallen in love with her in real +earnest?... What nonsense! + + + + +CHAPTER XII. 15th June. + +AT eleven o'clock in the morning--the hour at which Princess Ligovski +is usually perspiring in the Ermolov baths--I walked past her house. +Princess Mary was sitting pensively at the window; on seeing me she +sprang up. + +I entered the ante-room, there was nobody there, and, availing myself of +the freedom afforded by the local customs, I made my way, unannounced, +into the drawing-room. + +Princess Mary's charming countenance was shrouded with a dull pallor. +She was standing by the pianoforte, leaning one hand on the back of an +arm-chair; her hand was very faintly trembling. I went up to her softly +and said: + +"You are angry with me?"... + +She lifted a deep, languid glance upon me and shook her head. Her lips +were about to utter something, but failed; her eyes filled with tears; +she sank into the arm-chair and buried her face in her hands. + +"What is the matter with you?" I said, taking her hand. + +"You do not respect me!... Oh, leave me!"... + +I took a few steps... She drew herself up in the chair, her eyes +sparkled. + +I stopped still, took hold of the handle of the door, and said: + +"Forgive me, Princess. I have acted like a madman... It will not happen +another time; I shall see to that... But how can you know what has been +taking place hitherto within my soul? That you will never learn, and so +much the better for you. Farewell." + +As I was going out, I seemed to hear her weeping. + +I wandered on foot about the environs of Mount Mashuk till evening, +fatigued myself terribly and, on arriving home, flung myself on my bed, +utterly exhausted. + +Werner came to see me. + +"Is it true," he asked, "that you are going to marry Princess Mary?" + +"What?" + +"The whole town is saying so. All my patients are occupied with that +important piece of news; but you know what these patients are: they know +everything." + +"This is one of Grushnitski's tricks," I said to myself. + +"To prove the falsity of these rumours, doctor, I may mention, as a +secret, that I am moving to Kislovodsk to-morrow"... + +"And Princess Mary, too?" + +"No, she remains here another week"... + +"So you are not going to get married?"... + +"Doctor, doctor! Look at me! Am I in the least like a bridegroom, or any +such thing?" + +"I am not saying so... But you know there are occasions..." he added, +with a crafty smile--"in which an honourable man is obliged to marry, +and there are mothers who, to say the least, do not prevent such +occasions... And so, as a friend, I should advise you to be more +cautious. The air of these parts is very dangerous. How many handsome +young men, worthy of a better fate, have I not seen departing from here +straight to the altar!... Would you believe me, they were even going to +find a wife for me! That is to say, one person was--a lady belonging +to this district, who had a very pale daughter. I had the misfortune to +tell her that the latter's colour would be restored after wedlock, and +then with tears of gratitude she offered me her daughter's hand and the +whole of her own fortune--fifty souls, [28] I think. But I replied that +I was unfit for such an honour." + +Werner left, fully convinced that he had put me on my guard. + +I gathered from his words that various ugly rumours were already being +spread about the town on the subject of Princess Mary and myself: +Grushnitski shall smart for this! + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. 18th June. + +I HAVE been in Kislovodsk three days now. Every day I see Vera at the +well and out walking. In the morning, when I awake, I sit by my window +and direct my lorgnette at her balcony. She has already been dressed +long ago, and is waiting for the signal agreed upon. We meet, as though +unexpectedly, in the garden which slopes down from our houses to the +well. The life-giving mountain air has brought back her colour and her +strength. Not for nothing is Narzan called the "Spring of Heroes." The +inhabitants aver that the air of Kislovodsk predisposes the heart to +love and that all the romances which have had their beginning at the +foot of Mount Mashuk find their consummation here. And, in very +fact, everything here breathes of solitude; everything has an air of +secrecy--the thick shadows of the linden avenues, bending over the +torrent which falls, noisy and foaming, from flag to flag and cleaves +itself a way between the mountains now becoming clad with verdure--the +mist-filled, silent ravines, with their ramifications straggling away +in all directions--the freshness of the aromatic air, laden with +the fragrance of the tall southern grasses and the white acacia--the +never-ceasing, sweetly-slumberous babble of the cool brooks, which, +meeting at the end of the valley, flow along in friendly emulation, and +finally fling themselves into the Podkumok. On this side, the ravine is +wider and becomes converted into a verdant dell, through which winds +the dusty road. Every time I look at it, I seem to see a carriage coming +along and a rosy little face looking out of the carriage-window. Many +carriages have already driven by--but still there is no sign of that +particular one. The village which lies behind the fortress has become +populous. In the restaurant, built upon a hill a few paces distant from +my lodgings, lights are beginning to flash in the evening through the +double row of poplars; noise and the jingling of glasses resound till +late at night. + +In no place are such quantities of Kakhetian wine and mineral waters +drunk as here. + + + "And many are willing to mix the two, + + But that is a thing I never do." + + +Every day Grushnitski and his gang are to be found brawling in the inn, +and he has almost ceased to greet me. + +He only arrived yesterday, and has already succeeded in quarrelling with +three old men who were going to take their places in the baths before +him. + +Decidedly, his misfortunes are developing a warlike spirit within him. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. 22nd June. + +AT last they have arrived. I was sitting by the window when I heard the +clattering of their carriage. My heart throbbed... What does it mean? +Can it be that I am in love?... I am so stupidly constituted that such a +thing might be expected of me. + +I dined at their house. Princess Ligovski looked at me with much +tenderness, and did not leave her daughter's side... a bad sign! On the +other hand, Vera is jealous of me in regard to Princess Mary--however, +I have been striving for that good fortune. What will not a woman do in +order to chagrin her rival? I remember that once a woman loved me +simply because I was in love with another woman. There is nothing more +paradoxical than the female mind; it is difficult to convince a woman of +anything; they have to be led into convincing themselves. The order of +the proofs by which they demolish their prejudices is most original; +to learn their dialectic it is necessary to overthrow in your own mind +every scholastic rule of logic. For example, the usual way: + +"This man loves me; but I am married: therefore I must not love him." + +The woman's way: + +"I must not love him, because I am married; but he loves +me--therefore"... + +A few dots here, because reason has no more to say. But, generally, +there is something to be said by the tongue, and the eyes, and, after +these, the heart--if there is such a thing. + +What if these notes should one day meet a woman's eye? + +"Slander!" she will exclaim indignantly. + +Ever since poets have written and women have read them (for which the +poets should be most deeply grateful) women have been called angels so +many times that, in very truth, in their simplicity of soul, they have +believed the compliment, forgetting that, for money, the same poets have +glorified Nero as a demigod... + +It would be unreasonable were I to speak of women with such malignity--I +who have loved nothing else in the world--I who have always been ready +to sacrifice for their sake ease, ambition, life itself... But, you see, +I am not endeavouring, in a fit of vexation and injured vanity, to pluck +from them the magic veil through which only an accustomed glance can +penetrate. No, all that I say about them is but the result of + + + "A mind which coldly hath observed, + + A heart which bears the stamp of woe." [29] + +Women ought to wish that all men knew them as well as I because I have +loved them a hundred times better since I have ceased to be afraid of +them and have comprehended their little weaknesses. + +By the way: the other day, Werner compared women to the enchanted forest +of which Tasso tells in his "Jerusalem Delivered." [30] + +"So soon as you approach," he said, "from all directions terrors, such +as I pray Heaven may preserve us from, will take wing at you: duty, +pride, decorum, public opinion, ridicule, contempt... You must simply go +straight on without looking at them; gradually the monsters disappear, +and, before you, opens a bright and quiet glade, in the midst of which +blooms the green myrtle. On the other hand, woe to you if, at the first +steps, your heart trembles and you turn back!" + + + + +CHAPTER XV. 24th June. + +THIS evening has been fertile in events. About three versts from +Kislovodsk, in the gorge through which the Podkumok flows, there is +a cliff called the Ring. It is a naturally formed gate, rising upon +a lofty hill, and through it the setting sun throws its last flaming +glance upon the world. A numerous cavalcade set off thither to gaze at +the sunset through the rock-window. To tell the truth, not one of them +was thinking about the sun. I rode beside Princess Mary. On the way +home, we had to ford the Podkumok. Mountain streams, even the +smallest, are dangerous; especially so, because the bottom is a perfect +kaleidoscope: it changes every day owing to the pressure of the current; +where yesterday there was a rock, to-day there is a cavity. I took +Princess Mary's horse by the bridle and led it into the water, which +came no higher than its knees. We began to move slowly in a slanting +direction against the current. It is a well-known fact that, in crossing +rapid streamlets, you should never look at the water, because, if you +do, your head begins to whirl directly. I forgot to warn Princess Mary +of that. + +We had reached the middle and were right in the vortex, when suddenly +she reeled in her saddle. + +"I feel ill!" she said in a faint voice. + +I bent over to her rapidly and threw my arm around her supple waist. + +"Look up!" I whispered. "It is nothing; just be brave! I am with you." + +She grew better; she was about to disengage herself from my arm, but +I clasped her tender, soft figure in a still closer embrace; my cheek +almost touched hers, from which was wafted flame. + +"What are you doing to me?... Oh, Heaven!"... + +I paid no attention to her alarm and confusion, and my lips touched her +tender cheek. She shuddered, but said nothing. We were riding behind the +others: nobody saw us. + +When we made our way out on the bank, the horses were all put to the +trot. Princess Mary kept hers back; I remained beside her. It was +evident that my silence was making her uneasy, but I swore to myself +that I would not speak a single word--out of curiosity. I wanted to see +how she would extricate herself from that embarrassing position. + +"Either you despise me, or you love me very much!" she said at length, +and there were tears in her voice. "Perhaps you want to laugh at me, to +excite my soul and then to abandon me... That would be so base, so vile, +that the mere supposition... Oh, no!" she added, in a voice of tender +trustfulness; "there is nothing in me which would preclude respect; is +it not so? Your presumptuous action... I must, I must forgive you +for it, because I permitted it... Answer, speak, I want to hear your +voice!"... + +There was such womanly impatience in her last words that, involuntarily, +I smiled; happily it was beginning to grow dusk... I made no answer. + +"You are silent!" she continued; "you wish, perhaps, that I should be +the first to tell you that I love you."... + +I remained silent. + +"Is that what you wish?" she continued, turning rapidly towards me.... +There was something terrible in the determination of her glance and +voice. + +"Why?" I answered, shrugging my shoulders. + +She struck her horse with her riding-whip and set off at full gallop +along the narrow, dangerous road. It all happened so quickly that I was +scarcely able to overtake her, and then only by the time she had joined +the rest of the company. + +All the way home she was continually talking and laughing. There +was something feverish in her movements; not once did she look in my +direction. Everybody observed her unusual gaiety. Princess Ligovski +rejoiced inwardly as she looked at her daughter. However, the latter +simply has a fit of nerves: she will spend a sleepless night, and will +weep. + +This thought affords me measureless delight: there are moments when I +understand the Vampire... And yet I am reputed to be a good fellow, and +I strive to earn that designation! + +On dismounting, the ladies went into Princess Ligovski's house. I was +excited, and I galloped to the mountains in order to dispel the +thoughts which had thronged into my head. The dewy evening breathed an +intoxicating coolness. The moon was rising from behind the dark summits. +Each step of my unshod horse resounded hollowly in the silence of the +gorges. I watered the horse at the waterfall, and then, after greedily +inhaling once or twice the fresh air of the southern night. + +I set off on my way back. + +I rode through the village. The lights in the windows were beginning to +go out; the sentries on the fortress-rampart and the Cossacks in the +surrounding pickets were calling out in drawling tones to one another. + +In one of the village houses, built at the edge of a ravine, I noticed +an extraordinary illumination. At times, discordant murmurs and shouting +could be heard, proving that a military carouse was in full swing. I +dismounted and crept up to the window. The shutter had not been made +fast, and I could see the banqueters and catch what they were saying. +They were talking about me. + +The captain of dragoons, flushed with wine, struck the table with his +fist, demanding attention. + +"Gentlemen!" he said, "this won't do! Pechorin must be taught a lesson! +These Petersburg fledglings always carry their heads high until they get +a slap in the face! He thinks that because he always wears clean gloves +and polished boots he is the only one who has ever lived in society. +And what a haughty smile! All the same, I am convinced that he is a +coward--yes, a coward!" + +"I think so too," said Grushnitski. "He is fond of getting himself out +of trouble by pretending to be only having a joke. I once gave him such +a talking to that anyone else in his place would have cut me to pieces +on the spot. But Pechorin turned it all to the ridiculous side. I, of +course, did not call him out because that was his business, but he did +not care to have anything more to do with it." + +"Grushnitski is angry with him for having captured Princess Mary from +him," somebody said. + +"That's a new idea! It is true I did run after Princess Mary a little, +but I left off at once because I do not want to get married; and it is +against my rules to compromise a girl." + +"Yes, I assure you that he is a coward of the first water, I mean +Pechorin, not Grushnitski--but Grushnitski is a fine fellow, and, +besides, he is my true friend!" the captain of dragoons went on. + +"Gentlemen! Nobody here stands up for him? Nobody? So much the better! +Would you like to put his courage to the test? It would be amusing"... + +"We would; but how?" + +"Listen here, then: Grushnitski in particular is angry with +him--therefore to Grushnitski falls the chief part. He will pick a +quarrel over some silly trifle or other, and will challenge Pechorin +to a duel... Wait a bit; here is where the joke comes in... He will +challenge him to a duel; very well! The whole proceeding--challenge, +preparations, conditions--will be as solemn and awe-inspiring as +possible--I will see to that. I will be your second, my poor friend! +Very well! Only here is the rub; we will put no bullets in the pistols. +I can answer for it that Pechorin will turn coward--I will place them +six paces apart, devil take it! Are you agreed, gentlemen?" + +"Splendid idea!... Agreed!... And why not?"... came from all sides. + +"And you, Grushnitski?" + +Tremblingly I awaited Grushnitski's answer. I was filled with cold rage +at the thought that, but for an accident, I might have made myself the +laughing-stock of those fools. If Grushnitski had not agreed, I should +have thrown myself upon his neck; but, after an interval of silence, +he rose from his place, extended his hand to the captain, and said very +gravely: + +"Very well, I agree!" + +It would be difficult to describe the enthusiasm of that honourable +company. + +I returned home, agitated by two different feelings. The first was +sorrow. + +"Why do they all hate me?" I thought--"why? Have I affronted anyone? No. +Can it be that I am one of those men the mere sight of whom is enough to +create animosity?" + +And I felt a venomous rage gradually filling my soul. + +"Have a care, Mr. Grushnitski!" I said, walking up and down the room: +"I am not to be jested with like this! You may pay dearly for the +approbation of your foolish comrades. I am not your toy!"... + +I got no sleep that night. By daybreak I was as yellow as an orange. + +In the morning I met Princess Mary at the well. + +"You are ill?" she said, looking intently at me. + +"I did not sleep last night." + +"Nor I either... I was accusing you... perhaps groundlessly. But explain +yourself, I can forgive you everything"... + +"Everything?"... + +"Everything... only speak the truth... and be quick... You see, I +have been thinking a good deal, trying to explain, to justify, your +behaviour. Perhaps you are afraid of opposition on the part of my +relations... that will not matter. When they learn"... + +Her voice shook. + +"I will win them over by entreaties. Or, is it your own position?... +But you know that I can sacrifice everything for the sake of the man I +love... Oh, answer quickly--have pity... You do not despise me--do you?" + +She seized my hand. + +Princess Ligovski was walking in front of us with Vera's husband, and +had not seen anything; but we might have been observed by some of the +invalids who were strolling about--the most inquisitive gossips of all +inquisitive folk--and I rapidly disengaged my hand from her passionate +pressure. + +"I will tell you the whole truth," I answered. "I will not justify +myself, nor explain my actions: I do not love you." + +Her lips grew slightly pale. + +"Leave me," she said, in a scarcely audible voice. + +I shrugged my shoulders, turned round, and walked away. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. 25th June. + +I SOMETIMES despise myself... Is not that the reason why I despise +others also?... I have grown incapable of noble impulses; I am afraid of +appearing ridiculous to myself. In my place, another would have offered +Princess Mary son coeur et sa fortune; but over me the word "marry" has +a kind of magical power. However passionately I love a woman, if she +only gives me to feel that I have to marry her--then farewell, love! My +heart is turned to stone, and nothing will warm it anew. I am prepared +for any other sacrifice but that; my life twenty times over, nay, my +honour I would stake on the fortune of a card... but my freedom I will +never sell. Why do I prize it so highly? What is there in it to me? For +what am I preparing myself? What do I hope for from the future?... In +truth, absolutely nothing. It is a kind of innate dread, an inexplicable +prejudice... There are people, you know, who have an unaccountable dread +of spiders, beetles, mice... Shall I confess it? When I was but a child, +a certain old woman told my fortune to my mother. She predicted for me +death from a wicked wife. I was profoundly struck by her words at the +time: an irresistible repugnance to marriage was born within my soul... +Meanwhile, something tells me that her prediction will be realized; I +will try, at all events, to arrange that it shall be realized as late in +life as possible. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. 26th June. + +YESTERDAY, the conjurer Apfelbaum arrived here. A long placard made its +appearance on the door of the restaurant, informing the most respected +public that the above-mentioned marvellous conjurer, acrobat, chemist, +and optician would have the honour to give a magnificent performance on +the present day at eight o'clock in the evening, in the saloon of the +Nobles' Club (in other words, the restaurant); tickets--two rubles and a +half each. + +Everyone intends to go and see the marvellous conjurer; even Princess +Ligovski has taken a ticket for herself, in spite of her daughter being +ill. + +After dinner to-day, I walked past Vera's windows; she was sitting by +herself on the balcony. A note fell at my feet: + +"Come to me at ten o'clock this evening by the large staircase. My +husband has gone to Pyatigorsk and will not return before to-morrow +morning. My servants and maids will not be at home; I have distributed +tickets to all of them, and to the princess's servants as well. I await +you; come without fail." + +"Aha!" I said to myself, "so then it has turned out at last as I thought +it would." + +At eight o'clock I went to see the conjurer. The public assembled before +the stroke of nine. The performance began. On the back rows of chairs +I recognized Vera's and Princess Ligovski's menservants and maids. They +were all there, every single one. Grushnitski, with his lorgnette, was +sitting in the front row, and the conjurer had recourse to him every +time he needed a handkerchief, a watch, a ring and so forth. + +For some time past, Grushnitski has ceased to bow to me, and to-day +he has looked at me rather insolently once or twice. It will all be +remembered to him when we come to settle our scores. + +Before ten o'clock had struck, I stood up and went out. + +It was dark outside, pitch dark. Cold, heavy clouds were lying on the +summit of the surrounding mountains, and only at rare intervals did +the dying breeze rustle the tops of the poplars which surrounded +the restaurant. People were crowding at the windows. I went down the +mountain and, turning in under the gate, I hastened my pace. Suddenly it +seemed to me that somebody was following my steps. I stopped and looked +round. It was impossible to make out anything in the darkness. However, +out of caution, I walked round the house, as if taking a stroll. Passing +Princess Mary's windows, I again heard steps behind me; a man wrapped in +a cloak ran by me. That rendered me uneasy, but I crept up to the flight +of steps, and hastily mounted the dark staircase. A door opened, and a +little hand seized mine... + +"Nobody has seen you?" said Vera in a whisper, clinging to me. + +"Nobody." + +"Now do you believe that I love you? Oh! I have long hesitated, long +tortured myself... But you can do anything you like with me." + +Her heart was beating violently, her hands were cold as ice. She broke +out into complaints and jealous reproaches. She demanded that I should +confess everything to her, saying that she would bear my faithlessness +with submission, because her sole desire was that I should be happy. I +did not quite believe that, but I calmed her with oaths, promises and so +on. + +"So you will not marry Mary? You do not love her?... But she thinks... +Do you know, she is madly in love with you, poor girl!"... + +***** + +About two o'clock in the morning I opened the window and, tying two +shawls together, I let myself down from the upper balcony to the lower, +holding on by the pillar. A light was still burning in Princess Mary's +room. Something drew me towards that window. The curtain was not quite +drawn, and I was able to cast a curious glance into the interior of the +room. Mary was sitting on her bed, her hands crossed upon her knees; +her thick hair was gathered up under a lace-frilled nightcap; her white +shoulders were covered by a large crimson kerchief, and her little feet +were hidden in a pair of many-coloured Persian slippers. She was sitting +quite still, her head sunk upon her breast; on a little table in front +of her was an open book; but her eyes, fixed and full of inexpressible +grief, seemed for the hundredth time to be skimming the same page whilst +her thoughts were far away. + +At that moment somebody stirred behind a shrub. I leaped from the +balcony on to the sward. An invisible hand seized me by the shoulder. + +"Aha!" said a rough voice: "caught!... I'll teach you to be entering +princesses' rooms at night!" + +"Hold him fast!" exclaimed another, springing out from a corner. + +It was Grushnitski and the captain of dragoons. + +I struck the latter on the head with my fist, knocked him off his feet, +and darted into the bushes. All the paths of the garden which covered +the slope opposite our houses were known to me. + +"Thieves, guard!"... they cried. + +A gunshot rang out; a smoking wad fell almost at my feet. + +Within a minute I was in my own room, undressed and in bed. My +manservant had only just locked the door when Grushnitski and the +captain began knocking for admission. + +"Pechorin! Are you asleep? Are you there?"... cried the captain. + +"I am in bed," I answered angrily. + +"Get up! Thieves!... Circassians!"... + +"I have a cold," I answered. "I am afraid of catching a chill." + +They went away. I had gained no useful purpose by answering them: they +would have been looking for me in the garden for another hour or so. + +Meanwhile the alarm became terrific. A Cossack galloped up from the +fortress. The commotion was general; Circassians were looked for in +every shrub--and of course none were found. Probably, however, a good +many people were left with the firm conviction that, if only more +courage and despatch had been shown by the garrison, at least a score of +brigands would have failed to get away with their lives. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. 27th June. + +THIS morning, at the well, the sole topic of conversation was the +nocturnal attack by the Circassians. I drank the appointed number of +glasses of Narzan water, and, after sauntering a few times about the +long linden avenue, I met Vera's husband, who had just arrived from +Pyatigorsk. He took my arm and we went to the restaurant for breakfast. +He was dreadfully uneasy about his wife. + +"What a terrible fright she had last night," he said. "Of course, it was +bound to happen just at the very time when I was absent." + +We sat down to breakfast near the door leading into a corner-room in +which about a dozen young men were sitting. Grushnitski was amongst +them. For the second time destiny provided me with the opportunity of +overhearing a conversation which was to decide his fate. He did not +see me, and, consequently, it was impossible for me to suspect him of +design; but that only magnified his fault in my eyes. + +"Is it possible, though, that they were really Circassians?" somebody +said. "Did anyone see them?" + +"I will tell you the whole truth," answered Grushnitski: "only please do +not betray me. This is how it was: yesterday, a certain man, whose name +I will not tell you, came up to me and told me that, at ten o'clock in +the evening, he had seen somebody creeping into the Ligovskis' house. I +must observe that Princess Ligovski was here, and Princess Mary at home. +So he and I set off to wait beneath the windows and waylay the lucky +man." + +I confess I was frightened, although my companion was very busily +engaged with his breakfast: he might have heard things which he would +have found rather displeasing, if Grushnitski had happened to guess the +truth; but, blinded by jealousy, the latter did not even suspect it. + +"So, do you see?" Grushnitski continued. "We set off, taking with us a +gun, loaded with blank cartridge, so as just to give him a fright. +We waited in the garden till two o'clock. At length--goodness knows, +indeed, where he appeared from, but he must have come out by the glass +door which is behind the pillar; it was not out of the window that he +came, because the window had remained unopened--at length, I say, we saw +someone getting down from the balcony... What do you think of Princess +Mary--eh? Well, I admit, it is hardly what you might expect from Moscow +ladies! After that what can you believe? We were going to seize him, but +he broke away and darted like a hare into the shrubs. Thereupon I fired +at him." + +There was a general murmur of incredulity. + +"You do not believe it?" he continued. "I give you my word of honour as +a gentleman that it is all perfectly true, and, in proof, I will tell +you the man's name if you like." + +"Tell us, tell us, who was he?" came from all sides. + +"Pechorin," answered Grushnitski. + +At that moment he raised his eyes--I was standing in the doorway +opposite to him. He grew terribly red. I went up to him and said, slowly +and distinctly: + +"I am very sorry that I did not come in before you had given your word +of honour in confirmation of a most abominable calumny: my presence +would have saved you from that further act of baseness." + +Grushnitski jumped up from his seat and seemed about to fly into a +passion. + +"I beg you," I continued in the same tone: "I beg you at once to retract +what you have said; you know very well that it is all an invention. I +do not think that a woman's indifference to your brilliant merits should +deserve so terrible a revenge. Bethink you well: if you maintain your +present attitude, you will lose the right to the name of gentleman and +will risk your life." + +Grushnitski stood before me in violent agitation, his eyes cast down. +But the struggle between his conscience and his vanity was of short +duration. The captain of dragoons, who was sitting beside him, nudged +him with his elbow. Grushnitski started, and answered rapidly, without +raising his eyes: + +"My dear sir, what I say, I mean, and I am prepared to repeat... I am +not afraid of your menaces and am ready for anything." + +"The latter you have already proved," I answered coldly; and, taking the +captain of dragoons by the arm, I left the room. + +"What do you want?" asked the captain. + +"You are Grushnitski's friend and will no doubt be his second?" + +The captain bowed very gravely. + +"You have guessed rightly," he answered. + +"Moreover, I am bound to be his second, because the insult offered +to him touches myself also. I was with him last night," he added, +straightening up his stooping figure. + +"Ah! So it was you whose head I struck so clumsily?"... + +He turned yellow in the face, then blue; suppressed rage was portrayed +upon his countenance. + +"I shall have the honour to send my second to you to-day," I added, +bowing adieu to him very politely, without appearing to have noticed his +fury. + +On the restaurant-steps I met Vera's husband. Apparently he had been +waiting for me. + +He seized my hand with a feeling akin to rapture. + +"Noble young man!" he said, with tears in his eyes. "I have heard +everything. What a scoundrel! Ingrate!... Just fancy such people +being admitted into a decent household after this! Thank God I have no +daughters! But she for whom you are risking your life will reward you. +Be assured of my constant discretion," he continued. "I have been young +myself and have served in the army: I know that these affairs must take +their course. Good-bye." + +Poor fellow! He is glad that he has no daughters!... + +I went straight to Werner, found him at home, and told him the whole +story--my relations with Vera and Princess Mary, and the conversation +which I had overheard and from which I had learned the intention of +these gentlemen to make a fool of me by causing me to fight a duel with +blank cartridges. But, now, the affair had gone beyond the bounds of +jest; they probably had not expected that it would turn out like this. + +The doctor consented to be my second; I gave him a few directions with +regard to the conditions of the duel. He was to insist upon the +affair being managed with all possible secrecy, because, although I am +prepared, at any moment, to face death, I am not in the least disposed +to spoil for all time my future in this world. + +After that I went home. In an hour's time the doctor returned from his +expedition. + +"There is indeed a conspiracy against you," he said. "I found the +captain of dragoons at Grushnitski's, together with another gentleman +whose surname I do not remember. I stopped a moment in the ante-room, +in order to take off my goloshes. They were squabbling and making a +terrible uproar. 'On no account will I agree,' Grushnitski was saying: +'he has insulted me publicly; it was quite a different thing before'... + +"'What does it matter to you?' answered the captain. 'I will take it all +upon myself. I have been second in five duels, and I should think I know +how to arrange the affair. I have thought it all out. Just let me alone, +please. It is not a bad thing to give people a bit of a fright. And why +expose yourself to danger if it is possible to avoid it?'... + +"At that moment I entered the room. They suddenly fell silent. Our +negotiations were somewhat protracted. At length we decided the matter +as follows: about five versts from here there is a hollow gorge; they +will ride thither tomorrow at four o'clock in the morning, and we +shall leave half an hour later. You will fire at six paces--Grushnitski +himself demanded that condition. Whichever of you is killed--his death +will be put down to the account of the Circassians. And now I must tell +you what I suspect: they, that is to say the seconds, may have made +some change in their former plan and may want to load only Grushnitski's +pistol. That is something like murder, but in time of war, and +especially in Asiatic warfare, such tricks are allowed. Grushnitski, +however, seems to be a little more magnanimous than his companions. What +do you think? Ought we not to let them see that we have guessed their +plan?" + +"Not on any account, doctor! Make your mind easy; I will not give in to +them." + +"But what are you going to do, then?" + +"That is my secret." + +"Mind you are not caught... six paces, you know!" + +"Doctor, I shall expect you to-morrow at four o'clock. The horses will +be ready... Goodbye." + +I remained in the house until the evening, with my door locked. A +manservant came to invite me to Princess Ligovski's--I bade him say that +I was ill. + +***** + +Two o'clock in the morning... I cannot sleep... Yet sleep is what I +need, if I am to have a steady hand to-morrow. However, at six paces +it is difficult to miss. Aha! Mr. Grushnitski, your wiles will not +succeed!... We shall exchange roles: now it is I who shall have to seek +the signs of latent terror upon your pallid countenance. Why have you +yourself appointed these fatal six paces? Think you that I will tamely +expose my forehead to your aim?... + +No, we shall cast lots... And then--then--what if his luck should +prevail? If my star at length should betray me?... And little wonder if +it did: it has so long and faithfully served my caprices. + +Well? If I must die, I must! The loss to the world will not be great; +and I myself am already downright weary of everything. I am like a guest +at a ball, who yawns but does not go home to bed, simply because +his carriage has not come for him. But now the carriage is here... +Good-bye!... + +My whole past life I live again in memory, and, involuntarily, I ask +myself: 'why have I lived--for what purpose was I born?'... A purpose +there must have been, and, surely, mine was an exalted destiny, because +I feel that within my soul are powers immeasurable... But I was not able +to discover that destiny, I allowed myself to be carried away by the +allurements of passions, inane and ignoble. From their crucible I +issued hard and cold as iron, but gone for ever was the glow of noble +aspirations--the fairest flower of life. And, from that time forth, how +often have I not played the part of an axe in the hands of fate! Like an +implement of punishment, I have fallen upon the head of doomed victims, +often without malice, always without pity... To none has my love brought +happiness, because I have never sacrificed anything for the sake of +those I have loved: for myself alone I have loved--for my own pleasure. +I have only satisfied the strange craving of my heart, greedily draining +their feelings, their tenderness, their joys, their sufferings--and +I have never been able to sate myself. I am like one who, spent with +hunger, falls asleep in exhaustion and sees before him sumptuous viands +and sparkling wines; he devours with rapture the aerial gifts of the +imagination, and his pains seem somewhat assuaged. Let him but awake: +the vision vanishes--twofold hunger and despair remain! + +And to-morrow, it may be, I shall die!... And there will not be left on +earth one being who has understood me completely. Some will consider me +worse, others, better, than I have been in reality... Some will say: +'he was a good fellow'; others: 'a villain.' And both epithets will be +false. After all this, is life worth the trouble? And yet we live--out +of curiosity! We expect something new... How absurd, and yet how +vexatious! + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +IT is now a month and a half since I have been in the N----Fortress. + +Maksim Maksimych is out hunting... I am alone. I am sitting by the +window. Grey clouds have covered the mountains to the foot; the sun +appears through the mist as a yellow spot. It is cold; the wind is +whistling and rocking the shutters... I am bored!... I will continue my +diary which has been interrupted by so many strange events. + +I read the last page over: how ridiculous it seems!... I thought to die; +it was not to be. I have not yet drained the cup of suffering, and now I +feel that I still have long to live. + +How clearly and how sharply have all these bygone events been stamped +upon my memory! Time has not effaced a single line, a single shade. + +I remember that during the night preceding the duel I did not sleep a +single moment. I was not able to write for long: a secret uneasiness +took possession of me. For about an hour I paced the room, then I sat +down and opened a novel by Walter Scott which was lying on my table. It +was "The Scottish Puritans." [301] At first I read with an effort; then, +carried away by the magical fiction, I became oblivious of everything +else. + +At last day broke. My nerves became composed. I looked in the glass: +a dull pallor covered my face, which preserved the traces of harassing +sleeplessness; but my eyes, although encircled by a brownish shadow, +glittered proudly and inexorably. I was satisfied with myself. + +I ordered the horses to be saddled, dressed myself, and ran down to the +baths. Plunging into the cold, sparkling water of the Narzan Spring, I +felt my bodily and mental powers returning. I left the baths as fresh +and hearty as if I was off to a ball. After that, who shall say that the +soul is not dependent upon the body!... + +On my return, I found the doctor at my rooms. He was wearing grey +riding-breeches, a jacket and a Circassian cap. I burst out laughing +when I saw that little figure under the enormous shaggy cap. Werner +has a by no means warlike countenance, and on that occasion it was even +longer than usual. + +"Why so sad, doctor?" I said to him. "Have you not a hundred times, with +the greatest indifference, escorted people to the other world? Imagine +that I have a bilious fever: I may get well; also, I may die; both are +in the usual course of things. Try to look on me as a patient, afflicted +with an illness with which you are still unfamiliar--and then your +curiosity will be aroused in the highest degree. You can now make a few +important physiological observations upon me... Is not the expectation +of a violent death itself a real illness?" + +The doctor was struck by that idea, and he brightened up. + +We mounted our horses. Werner clung on to his bridle with both hands, +and we set off. In a trice we had galloped past the fortress, through +the village, and had ridden into the gorge. Our winding road was +half-overgrown with tall grass and was intersected every moment by a +noisy brook, which we had to ford, to the great despair of the doctor, +because each time his horse would stop in the water. + +A morning more fresh and blue I cannot remember! The sun had scarce +shown his face from behind the green summits, and the blending of the +first warmth of his rays with the dying coolness of the night produced +on all my feelings a sort of sweet languor. The joyous beam of the young +day had not yet penetrated the gorge; it gilded only the tops of the +cliffs which overhung us on both sides. The tufted shrubs, growing in +the deep crevices of the cliffs, besprinkled us with a silver shower +at the least breath of wind. I remember that on that occasion I loved +Nature more than ever before. With what curiosity did I examine every +dewdrop trembling upon the broad vine leaf and reflecting millions of +rainbowhued rays! How eagerly did my glance endeavour to penetrate the +smoky distance! There the road grew narrower and narrower, the cliffs +bluer and more dreadful, and at last they met, it seemed, in an +impenetrable wall. + +We rode in silence. + +"Have you made your will?" Werner suddenly inquired. + +"No." + +"And if you are killed?" + +"My heirs will be found of themselves." + +"Is it possible that you have no friends, to whom you would like to send +a last farewell?"... + +I shook my head. + +"Is there, really, not one woman in the world to whom you would like to +leave some token in remembrance?"... + +"Do you want me to reveal my soul to you, doctor?" I answered... "You +see, I have outlived the years when people die with the name of the +beloved on their lips and bequeathing to a friend a lock of pomaded--or +unpomaded--hair. When I think that death may be near, I think of myself +alone; others do not even do as much. The friends who to-morrow will +forget me or, worse, will utter goodness knows what falsehoods about me; +the women who, while embracing another, will laugh at me in order not +to arouse his jealousy of the deceased--let them go! Out of the storm of +life I have borne away only a few ideas--and not one feeling. For a +long time now I have been living, not with my heart, but with my head. +I weigh, analyse my own passions and actions with severe curiosity, but +without sympathy. There are two personalities within me: one lives--in +the complete sense of the word--the other reflects and judges him; the +first, it may be, in an hour's time, will take farewell of you and the +world for ever, and the second--the second?... Look, doctor, do you +see those three black figures on the cliff, to the right? They are our +antagonists, I suppose?"... + +We pushed on. + +In the bushes at the foot of the cliff three horses were tethered; we +tethered ours there too, and then we clambered up the narrow path to the +ledge on which Grushnitski was awaiting us in company with the captain +of dragoons and his other second, whom they called Ivan Ignatevich. His +surname I never heard. + +"We have been expecting you for quite a long time," said the captain of +dragoons, with an ironical smile. + +I drew out my watch and showed him the time. + +He apologized, saying that his watch was fast. + +There was an embarrassing silence for a few moments. At length the +doctor interrupted it. + +"It seems to me," he said, turning to Grushnitski, "that as you have +both shown your readiness to fight, and thereby paid the debt due to the +conditions of honour, you might be able to come to an explanation and +finish the affair amicably." + +"I am ready," I said. + +The captain winked to Grushnitski, and the latter, thinking that I was +losing courage, assumed a haughty air, although, until that moment, his +cheeks had been covered with a dull pallor. For the first time since our +arrival he lifted his eyes on me; but in his glance there was a certain +disquietude which evinced an inward struggle. + +"Declare your conditions," he said, "and anything I can do for you, be +assured"... + +"These are my conditions: you will this very day publicly recant your +slander and beg my pardon"... + +"My dear sir, I wonder how you dare make such a proposal to me?" + +"What else could I propose?"... + +"We will fight." + +I shrugged my shoulders. + +"Be it so; only, bethink you that one of us will infallibly be killed." + +"I hope it will be you"... + +"And I am so convinced of the contrary"... + +He became confused, turned red, and then burst out into a forced laugh. + +The captain took his arm and led him aside; they whispered together for +a long time. I had arrived in a fairly pacific frame of mind, but all +this was beginning to drive me furious. + +The doctor came up to me. + +"Listen," he said, with manifest uneasiness, "you have surely forgotten +their conspiracy!... I do not know how to load a pistol, but in +this case... You are a strange man! Tell them that you know their +intention--and they will not dare... What sport! To shoot you like a +bird"... + +"Please do not be uneasy, doctor, and wait awhile... I shall arrange +everything in such a way that there will be no advantage on their side. +Let them whisper"... + +"Gentlemen, this is becoming tedious," I said to them loudly: "if we are +to fight, let us fight; you had time yesterday to talk as much as you +wanted to." + +"We are ready," answered the captain. "Take your places, gentlemen! +Doctor, be good enough to measure six paces"... + +"Take your places!" repeated Ivan Ignatevich, in a squeaky voice. + +"Excuse me!" I said. "One further condition. As we are going to fight +to the death, we are bound to do everything possible in order that +the affair may remain a secret, and that our seconds may incur no +responsibility. Do you agree?"... + +"Quite." + +"Well, then, this is my idea. Do you see that narrow ledge on the top of +the perpendicular cliff on the right? It must be thirty fathoms, if not +more, from there to the bottom; and, down below, there are sharp rocks. +Each of us will stand right at the extremity of the ledge--in such +manner even a slight wound will be mortal: that ought to be in +accordance with your desire, as you yourselves have fixed upon six +paces. Whichever of us is wounded will be certain to fall down and be +dashed to pieces; the doctor will extract the bullet, and, then, it will +be possible very easily to account for that sudden death by saying it +was the result of a fall. Let us cast lots to decide who shall fire +first. In conclusion, I declare that I will not fight on any other +terms." + +"Be it so!" said the captain after an expressive glance at Grushnitski, +who nodded his head in token of assent. Every moment he was changing +countenance. I had placed him in an embarrassing position. Had the duel +been fought upon the usual conditions, he could have aimed at my leg, +wounded me slightly, and in such wise gratified his vengeance without +overburdening his conscience. But now he was obliged to fire in the air, +or to make himself an assassin, or, finally, to abandon his base plan +and to expose himself to equal danger with me. I should not have liked +to be in his place at that moment. He took the captain aside and said +something to him with great warmth. His lips were blue, and I saw them +trembling; but the captain turned away from him with a contemptuous +smile. + +"You are a fool," he said to Grushnitski rather loudly. "You can't +understand a thing!... Let us be off, then, gentlemen!" + +The precipice was approached by a narrow path between bushes, and +fragments of rock formed the precarious steps of that natural staircase. +Clinging to the bushes we proceeded to clamber up. Grushnitski went in +front, his seconds behind him, and then the doctor and I. + +"I am surprised at you," said the doctor, pressing my hand vigorously. +"Let me feel your pulse!... Oho! Feverish!... But nothing noticeable +on your countenance... only your eyes are gleaming more brightly than +usual." + +Suddenly small stones rolled noisily right under our feet. What was it? +Grushnitski had stumbled; the branch to which he was clinging had broken +off, and he would have rolled down on his back if his seconds had not +held him up. + +"Take care!" I cried. "Do not fall prematurely: that is a bad sign. +Remember Julius Caesar!" + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +AND now we had climbed to the summit of the projecting cliff. The ledge +was covered with fine sand, as if on purpose for a duel. All around, +like an innumerable herd, crowded the mountains, their summits lost to +view in the golden mist of the morning; and towards the south rose +the white mass of Elbruz, closing the chain of icy peaks, among which +fibrous clouds, which had rushed in from the east, were already roaming. +I walked to the extremity of the ledge and gazed down. My head nearly +swam. At the foot of the precipice all seemed dark and cold as in a +tomb; the moss-grown jags of the rocks, hurled down by storm and time, +were awaiting their prey. + +The ledge on which we were to fight formed an almost regular triangle. +Six paces were measured from the projecting corner, and it was decided +that whichever had first to meet the fire of his opponent should stand +in the very corner with his back to the precipice; if he was not killed +the adversaries would change places. + +I determined to relinquish every advantage to Grushnitski; I wanted to +test him. A spark of magnanimity might awake in his soul--and then all +would have been settled for the best. But his vanity and weakness of +character had perforce to triumph!... I wished to give myself the full +right to refrain from sparing him if destiny were to favour me. Who +would not have concluded such an agreement with his conscience? + +"Cast the lot, doctor!" said the captain. + +The doctor drew a silver coin from his pocket and held it up. + +"Tail!" cried Grushnitski hurriedly, like a man suddenly aroused by a +friendly nudge. + +"Head," I said. + +The coin spun in the air and fell, jingling. We all rushed towards it. + +"You are lucky," I said to Grushnitski. "You are to fire first! But +remember that if you do not kill me I shall not miss--I give you my word +of honour." + +He flushed up; he was ashamed to kill an unarmed man. I looked at him +fixedly; for a moment it seemed to me that he would throw himself at my +feet, imploring forgiveness; but how to confess so base a plot?... One +expedient only was left to him--to fire in the air! I was convinced +that he would fire in the air! One consideration alone might prevent him +doing so--the thought that I would demand a second duel. + +"Now is the time!" the doctor whispered to me, plucking me by the +sleeve. "If you do not tell them now that we know their intentions, all +is lost. Look, he is loading already... If you will not say anything, I +will"... + +"On no account, doctor!" I answered, holding him back by the arm. "You +will spoil everything. You have given me your word not to interfere... +What does it matter to you? Perhaps I wish to be killed"... + +He looked at me in astonishment. + +"Oh, that is another thing!... Only do not complain of me in the other +world"... + +Meanwhile the captain had loaded his pistols and given one to +Grushnitski, after whispering something to him with a smile; the other +he gave to me. + +I placed myself in the corner of the ledge, planting my left foot firmly +against the rock and bending slightly forward, so that, in case of a +slight wound, I might not fall over backwards. + +Grushnitski placed himself opposite me and, at a given signal, began +to raise his pistol. His knees shook. He aimed right at my forehead... +Unutterable fury began to seethe within my breast. + +Suddenly he dropped the muzzle of the pistol and, pale as a sheet, +turned to his second. + +"I cannot," he said in a hollow voice. + +"Coward!" answered the captain. + +A shot rang out. The bullet grazed my knee. Involuntarily I took a few +paces forward in order to get away from the edge as quickly as possible. + +"Well, my dear Grushnitski, it is a pity that you have missed!" said +the captain. "Now it is your turn, take your stand! Embrace me first: we +shall not see each other again!" + +They embraced; the captain could scarcely refrain from laughing. + +"Do not be afraid," he added, glancing cunningly at Grushnitski; +"everything in this world is nonsense... Nature is a fool, fate a +turkeyhen, and life a copeck!" [31] + +After that tragic phrase, uttered with becoming gravity, he went back to +his place. Ivan Ignatevich, with tears, also embraced Grushnitski, and +there the latter remained alone, facing me. Ever since then, I have been +trying to explain to myself what sort of feeling it was that was boiling +within my breast at that moment: it was the vexation of injured vanity, +and contempt, and wrath engendered at the thought that the man now +looking at me with such confidence, such quiet insolence, had, two +minutes before, been about to kill me like a dog, without exposing +himself to the least danger, because had I been wounded a little more +severely in the leg I should inevitably have fallen over the cliff. + +For a few moments I looked him fixedly in the face, trying to discern +thereon even a slight trace of repentance. But it seemed to me that he +was restraining a smile. + +"I should advise you to say a prayer before you die," I said. + +"Do not worry about my soul any more than your own. One thing I beg of +you: be quick about firing." + +"And you do not recant your slander? You do not beg my forgiveness?... +Bethink you well: has your conscience nothing to say to you?" + +"Mr. Pechorin!" exclaimed the captain of dragoons. "Allow me to point +out that you are not here to preach... Let us lose no time, in case +anyone should ride through the gorge and we should be seen." + +"Very well. Doctor, come here!" + +The doctor came up to me. Poor doctor! He was paler than Grushnitski had +been ten minutes before. + +The words which followed I purposely pronounced with a pause between +each--loudly and distinctly, as the sentence of death is pronounced: + +"Doctor, these gentlemen have forgotten, in their hurry, no doubt, to +put a bullet in my pistol. I beg you to load it afresh--and properly!" + +"Impossible!" cried the captain, "impossible! I loaded both pistols. +Perhaps the bullet has rolled out of yours... That is not my fault! And +you have no right to load again... No right at all. It is altogether +against the rules, I shall not allow it"... + +"Very well!" I said to the captain. "If so, then you and I shall fight +on the same terms"... + +He came to a dead stop. + +Grushnitski stood with his head sunk on his breast, embarrassed and +gloomy. + +"Let them be!" he said at length to the captain, who was going to pull +my pistol out of the doctor's hands. "You know yourself that they are +right." + +In vain the captain made various signs to him. Grushnitski would not +even look. + +Meanwhile the doctor had loaded the pistol and handed it to me. On +seeing that, the captain spat and stamped his foot. + +"You are a fool, then, my friend," he said: "a common fool!... You +trusted to me before, so you should obey me in everything now... But +serve you right! Die like a fly!"... + +He turned away, muttering as he went: + +"But all the same it is absolutely against the rules." + +"Grushnitski!" I said. "There is still time: recant your slander, and I +will forgive you everything. You have not succeeded in making a fool of +me; my self-esteem is satisfied. Remember--we were once friends"... + +His face flamed, his eyes flashed. + +"Fire!" he answered. "I despise myself and I hate you. If you do not +kill me I will lie in wait for you some night and cut your throat. There +is not room on the earth for both of us"... + +I fired. + +When the smoke had cleared away, Grushnitski was not to be seen on the +ledge. Only a slender column of dust was still eddying at the edge of +the precipice. + +There was a simultaneous cry from the rest. + +"Finita la commedia!" I said to the doctor. + +He made no answer, and turned away with horror. + +I shrugged my shoulders and bowed to Grushnitski's seconds. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +AS I descended by the path, I observed Grushnitski's bloodstained corpse +between the clefts of the rocks. Involuntarily, I closed my eyes. + +Untying my horse, I set off home at a walking pace. A stone lay upon my +heart. To my eyes the sun seemed dim, its beams were powerless to warm +me. + +I did not ride up to the village, but turned to the right, along the +gorge. The sight of a man would have been painful to me: I wanted to be +alone. Throwing down the bridle and letting my head fall on my breast, I +rode for a long time, and at length found myself in a spot with which +I was wholly unfamiliar. I turned my horse back and began to search +for the road. The sun had already set by the time I had ridden up to +Kislovodsk--myself and my horse both utterly spent! + +My servant told me that Werner had called, and he handed me two notes: +one from Werner, the other... from Vera. + +I opened the first; its contents were as follows: + +"Everything has been arranged as well as could be; the mutilated body +has been brought in; and the bullet extracted from the breast. Everybody +is convinced that the cause of death was an unfortunate accident; only +the Commandant, who was doubtless aware of your quarrel, shook his head, +but he said nothing. There are no proofs at all against you, and you may +sleep in peace... if you can.... Farewell!"... + +For a long time I could not make up my mind to open the second note... +What could it be that she was writing to me?... My soul was agitated by +a painful foreboding. + +Here it is, that letter, each word of which is indelibly engraved upon +my memory: + +"I am writing to you in the full assurance that we shall never see each +other again. A few years ago on parting with you I thought the same. +However, it has been Heaven's will to try me a second time: I have not +been able to endure the trial, my frail heart has again submitted to +the well-known voice... You will not despise me for that--will you? This +letter will be at once a farewell and a confession: I am obliged to tell +you everything that has been treasured up in my heart since it began to +love you. I will not accuse you--you have acted towards me as any other +man would have acted; you have loved me as a chattel, as a source of +joys, disquietudes and griefs, interchanging one with the other, without +which life would be dull and monotonous. I have understood all that from +the first... But you were unhappy, and I have sacrificed myself, hoping +that, some time, you would appreciate my sacrifice, that some time you +would understand my deep tenderness, unfettered by any conditions. A +long time has elapsed since then: I have fathomed all the secrets of +your soul... and I have convinced myself that my hope was vain. It has +been a bitter blow to me! But my love has been grafted with my soul; it +has grown dark, but has not been extinguished. + +"We are parting for ever; yet you may be sure that I shall never love +another. Upon you my soul has exhausted all its treasures, its tears, +its hopes. She who has once loved you cannot look without a certain +disdain upon other men, not because you have been better than they, oh, +no! but in your nature there is something peculiar--belonging to you +alone, something proud and mysterious; in your voice, whatever the words +spoken, there is an invincible power. No one can so constantly wish to +be loved, in no one is wickedness ever so attractive, no one's glance +promises so much bliss, no one can better make use of his advantages, +and no one can be so truly unhappy as you, because no one endeavours so +earnestly to convince himself of the contrary. + +"Now I must explain the cause of my hurried departure; it will seem of +little importance to you, because it concerns me alone. + +"This morning my husband came in and told me about your quarrel with +Grushnitski. Evidently I changed countenance greatly, because he looked +me in the face long and intently. I almost fainted at the thought that +you had to fight a duel to-day, and that I was the cause of it; it +seemed to me that I should go mad... But now, when I am able to reason, +I am sure that you remain alive: it is impossible that you should die, +and I not with you--impossible! My husband walked about the room for a +long time. I do not know what he said to me, I do not remember what I +answered... Most likely I told him that I loved you... I only remember +that, at the end of our conversation, he insulted me with a dreadful +word and left the room. I heard him ordering the carriage... I have been +sitting at the window three hours now, awaiting your return... But you +are alive, you cannot have died!... The carriage is almost ready... +Good-bye, good-bye!... I have perished--but what matter? If I could be +sure that you will always remember me--I no longer say love--no, only +remember... Good-bye, they are coming!... I must hide this letter. + +"You do not love Mary, do you? You will not marry her? Listen, you must +offer me that sacrifice. I have lost everything in the world for you"... + +Like a madman I sprang on the steps, jumped on my Circassian horse which +was being led about the courtyard, and set off at full gallop along +the road to Pyatigorsk. Unsparingly I urged on the jaded horse, which, +snorting and all in a foam, carried me swiftly along the rocky road. + +The sun had already disappeared behind a black cloud, which had been +resting on the ridge of the western mountains; the gorge grew dark and +damp. The Podkumok, forcing its way over the rocks, roared with a hollow +and monotonous sound. I galloped on, choking with impatience. The idea +of not finding Vera in Pyatigorsk struck my heart like a hammer. For one +minute, again to see her for one minute, to say farewell, to press her +hand... I prayed, cursed, wept, laughed... No, nothing could express +my anxiety, my despair!... Now that it seemed possible that I might be +about to lose her for ever, Vera became dearer to me than aught in the +world--dearer than life, honour, happiness! God knows what strange, what +mad plans swarmed in my head... Meanwhile I still galloped, urging on +my horse without pity. And, now, I began to notice that he was breathing +more heavily; he had already stumbled once or twice on level ground... +I was five versts from Essentuki--a Cossack village where I could change +horses. + +All would have been saved had my horse been able to hold out for another +ten minutes. But suddenly, in lifting himself out of a little gulley +where the road emerges from the mountains at a sharp turn, he fell to +the ground. I jumped down promptly, I tried to lift him up, I tugged at +his bridle--in vain. A scarcely audible moan burst through his clenched +teeth; in a few moments he expired. I was left on the steppe, alone; +I had lost my last hope. I endeavoured to walk--my legs sank under me; +exhausted by the anxieties of the day and by sleeplessness, I fell upon +the wet grass and burst out crying like a child. + +For a long time I lay motionless and wept bitterly, without attempting +to restrain my tears and sobs. I thought my breast would burst. All +my firmness, all my coolness, disappeared like smoke; my soul grew +powerless, my reason silent, and, if anyone had seen me at that moment, +he would have turned aside with contempt. + +When the night-dew and the mountain breeze had cooled my burning brow, +and my thoughts had resumed their usual course, I realized that to +pursue my perished happiness would be unavailing and unreasonable. +What more did I want?--To see her?--Why? Was not all over between us? A +single, bitter, farewell kiss would not have enriched my recollections, +and, after it, parting would only have been more difficult for us. + +Still, I am pleased that I can weep. Perhaps, however, the cause of +that was my shattered nerves, a night passed without sleep, two minutes +opposite the muzzle of a pistol, and an empty stomach. + +It is all for the best. That new suffering created within me a fortunate +diversion--to speak in military style. To weep is healthy, and then, +no doubt, if I had not ridden as I did and had not been obliged to walk +fifteen versts on my way back, sleep would not have closed my eyes on +that night either. + +I returned to Kislovodsk at five o'clock in the morning, threw myself on +my bed, and slept the sleep of Napoleon after Waterloo. + +By the time I awoke it was dark outside. I sat by the open window, with +my jacket unbuttoned--and the mountain breeze cooled my breast, still +troubled by the heavy sleep of weariness. In the distance beyond the +river, through the tops of the thick lime trees which overshadowed it, +lights were glancing in the fortress and the village. Close at hand all +was calm. It was dark in Princess Ligovski's house. + +The doctor entered; his brows were knit; contrary to custom, he did not +offer me his hand. + +"Where have you come from, doctor?" + +"From Princess Ligovski's; her daughter is ill--nervous exhaustion... +That is not the point, though. This is what I have come to tell you: +the authorities are suspicious, and, although it is impossible to prove +anything positively, I should, all the same, advise you to be cautious. +Princess Ligovski told me to-day that she knew that you fought a duel on +her daughter's account. That little old man--what's his name?--has told +her everything. He was a witness of your quarrel with Grushnitski in the +restaurant. I have come to warn you. Good-bye. Maybe we shall not meet +again: you will be banished somewhere." + +He stopped on the threshold; he would gladly have pressed my hand... +and, had I shown the slightest desire to embrace him, he would have +thrown himself upon my neck; but I remained cold as a rock--and he left +the room. + +That is just like men! They are all the same: they know beforehand all +the bad points of an act, they help, they advise, they even encourage +it, seeing the impossibility of any other expedient--and then they wash +their hands of the whole affair and turn away with indignation from him +who has had the courage to take the whole burden of responsibility upon +himself. They are all like that, even the best-natured, the wisest... + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +NEXT morning, having received orders from the supreme authority to +betake myself to the N----Fortress, I called upon Princess Ligovski to +say good-bye. + +She was surprised when, in answer to her question, whether I had not +anything of special importance to tell her, I said I had come to wish +her good-bye, and so on. + +"But I must have a very serious talk with you." + +I sat down in silence. + +It was clear that she did not know how to begin; her face grew livid, +she tapped the table with her plump fingers; at length, in a broken +voice, she said: + +"Listen, Monsieur Pechorin, I think that you are a gentleman." + +I bowed. + +"Nay, I am sure of it," she continued, "although your behaviour is +somewhat equivocal, but you may have reasons which I do not know; and +you must now confide them to me. You have protected my daughter from +slander, you have fought a duel on her behalf--consequently you have +risked your life... Do not answer. I know that you will not acknowledge +it because Grushnitski has been killed"--she crossed herself. "God +forgive him--and you too, I hope... That does not concern me... I dare +not condemn you because my daughter, although innocently, has been +the cause. She has told me everything... everything, I think. You have +declared your love for her... She has admitted hers to you."--Here +Princess Ligovski sighed heavily.--"But she is ill, and I am certain +that it is no simple illness! Secret grief is killing her; she will not +confess, but I am convinced that you are the cause of it... Listen: +you think, perhaps, that I am looking for rank or immense wealth--be +undeceived, my daughter's happiness is my sole desire. Your present +position is unenviable, but it may be bettered: you have means; my +daughter loves you; she has been brought up in such a way that she will +make her husband a happy man. I am wealthy, she is my only child... Tell +me, what is keeping you back?... You see, I ought not to be saying all +this to you, but I rely upon your heart, upon your honour--remember she +is my only daughter... my only one"... + +She burst into tears. + +"Princess," I said, "it is impossible for me to answer you; allow me to +speak to your daughter, alone"... + +"Never!" she exclaimed, rising from her chair in violent agitation. + +"As you wish," I answered, preparing to go away. + +She fell into thought, made a sign to me with her hand that I should +wait a little, and left the room. + +Five minutes passed. My heart was beating violently, but my thoughts +were tranquil, my head cool. However assiduously I sought in my breast +for even a spark of love for the charming Mary, my efforts were of no +avail! + +Then the door opened, and she entered. Heavens! How she had changed +since I had last seen her--and that but a short time ago! + +When she reached the middle of the room, she staggered. I jumped up, +gave her my arm, and led her to a chair. + +I stood facing her. We remained silent for a long time; her large eyes, +full of unutterable grief, seemed to be searching in mine for something +resembling hope; her wan lips vainly endeavoured to smile; her tender +hands, which were folded upon her knees, were so thin and transparent +that I pitied her. + +"Princess," I said, "you know that I have been making fun of you?... You +must despise me." + +A sickly flush suffused her cheeks. + +"Consequently," I continued, "you cannot love me"... + +She turned her head away, leaned her elbows on the table, covered her +eyes with her hand, and it seemed to me that she was on the point of +tears. + +"Oh, God!" she said, almost inaudibly. + +The situation was growing intolerable. Another minute--and I should have +fallen at her feet. + +"So you see, yourself," I said in as firm a voice as I could command, +and with a forced smile, "you see, yourself, that I cannot marry you. +Even if you wished it now, you would soon repent. My conversation with +your mother has compelled me to explain myself to you so frankly and so +brutally. I hope that she is under a delusion: it will be easy for you +to undeceive her. You see, I am playing a most pitiful and ugly role +in your eyes, and I even admit it--that is the utmost I can do for your +sake. However bad an opinion you may entertain of me, I submit to it... +You see that I am base in your sight, am I not?... Is it not true that, +even if you have loved me, you would despise me from this moment?"... + +She turned round to me. She was pale as marble, but her eyes were +sparkling wondrously. + +"I hate you"... she said. + +I thanked her, bowed respectfully, and left the room. + +An hour afterwards a postal express was bearing me rapidly from +Kislovodsk. A few versts from Essentuki I recognized near the roadway +the body of my spirited horse. The saddle had been taken off, no doubt +by a passing Cossack, and, in its place, two ravens were sitting on the +horse's back. I sighed and turned away... + +And now, here in this wearisome fortress, I often ask myself, as my +thoughts wander back to the past: why did I not wish to tread that way, +thrown open by destiny, where soft joys and ease of soul were awaiting +me?... No, I could never have become habituated to such a fate! I am +like a sailor born and bred on the deck of a pirate brig: his soul has +grown accustomed to storms and battles; but, once let him be cast upon +the shore, and he chafes, he pines away, however invitingly the shady +groves allure, however brightly shines the peaceful sun. The livelong +day he paces the sandy shore, hearkens to the monotonous murmur of the +onrushing waves, and gazes into the misty distance: lo! yonder, upon +the pale line dividing the blue deep from the grey clouds, is there not +glancing the longed-for sail, at first like the wing of a seagull, but +little by little severing itself from the foam of the billows and, with +even course, drawing nigh to the desert harbour? + + + + + +APPENDIX + +PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION + +(By the Author) + +THE preface to a book serves the double purpose of prologue and +epilogue. It affords the author an opportunity of explaining the object +of the work, or of vindicating himself and replying to his critics. As a +rule, however, the reader is concerned neither with the moral purpose +of the book nor with the attacks of the Reviewers, and so the preface +remains unread. Nevertheless, this is a pity, especially with us +Russians! The public of this country is so youthful, not to say +simple-minded, that it cannot understand the meaning of a fable unless +the moral is set forth at the end. Unable to see a joke, insensible to +irony, it has, in a word, been badly brought up. It has not yet learned +that in a decent book, as in decent society, open invective can have no +place; that our present-day civilisation has invented a keener weapon, +none the less deadly for being almost invisible, which, under the cloak +of flattery, strikes with sure and irresistible effect. The Russian +public is like a simple-minded person from the country who, chancing to +overhear a conversation between two diplomatists belonging to hostile +courts, comes away with the conviction that each of them has been +deceiving his Government in the interest of a most affectionate private +friendship. + +The unfortunate effects of an over-literal acceptation of words by +certain readers and even Reviewers have recently been manifested in +regard to the present book. Many of its readers have been dreadfully, +and in all seriousness, shocked to find such an immoral man as Pechorin +set before them as an example. Others have observed, with much +acumen, that the author has painted his own portrait and those of +his acquaintances!... What a stale and wretched jest! But Russia, it +appears, has been constituted in such a way that absurdities of this +kind will never be eradicated. It is doubtful whether, in this country, +the most ethereal of fairy-tales would escape the reproach of attempting +offensive personalities. + +Pechorin, gentlemen, is in fact a portrait, but not of one man only: +he is a composite portrait, made up of all the vices which flourish, +fullgrown, amongst the present generation. You will tell me, as you have +told me before, that no man can be so bad as this; and my reply will be: +"If you believe that such persons as the villains of tragedy and romance +could exist in real life, why can you not believe in the reality of +Pechorin? If you admire fictions much more terrible and monstrous, why +is it that this character, even if regarded merely as a creature of +the imagination, cannot obtain quarter at your hands? Is it not because +there is more truth in it than may be altogether palatable to you?" + +You will say that the cause of morality gains nothing by this book. I +beg your pardon. People have been surfeited with sweetmeats and their +digestion has been ruined: bitter medicines, sharp truths, are therefore +necessary. This must not, however, be taken to mean that the author has +ever proudly dreamed of becoming a reformer of human vices. Heaven +keep him from such impertinence! He has simply found it entertaining to +depict a man, such as he considers to be typical of the present day and +such as he has often met in real life--too often, indeed, unfortunately +both for the author himself and for you. Suffice it that the disease has +been pointed out: how it is to be cured--God alone knows! + + + + + +FOOTNOTES: + + +[Footnote 1: A retail shop and tavern combined.] + +[Footnote 2: A verst is a measure of length, about 3500 English feet.] + +[Footnote 3: Ermolov, i.e. General Ermolov. Russians have three +names--Christian name, patronymic and surname. They are addressed by +the first two only. The surname of Maksim Maksimych (colloquial for +Maksimovich) is not mentioned.] + +[Footnote 4: The bell on the duga, a wooden arch joining the shafts of a +Russian conveyance over the horse's neck.] + +[Footnote 5: Rocky Ford.] + +[Footnote 6: A kind of beer made from millet.] + +[Footnote 7: i.e. acknowledging Russian supremacy.] + +[Footnote 8: A kind of two-stringed or three-stringed guitar.] + +[Footnote 9: "Good--very good."] + +[Footnote 10: Turkish for "Black-eye."] + +[Footnote 11: "No!"] + +[Footnote 12: A particular kind of ancient and valued sabre.] + +[Footnote 13: King--a title of the Sultan of Turkey.] + +[Footnote 14: I beg my readers' pardon for having versified Kazbich's +song, which, of course, as I heard it, was in prose; but habit is second +nature. (Author's note.)] + +[Footnote 151: "No! Russian--bad, bad!"] + +[Footnote 15: Krestov is an adjective meaning "of the cross" +(Krest=cross); and, of course, is not the Russian for "Christophe."] + +[Footnote 16: A legendary Russian hero whose whistling knocked people +down.] + +[Footnote 17: Lezghian dance.] + +[Footnote 18: In Russian--okaziya=occasion, adventure, etc.; chto za +okaziya=how unfortunate!] + +[Footnote 19: The duga.] + +[Footnote 20: "Thou" is the form of address used in speaking to an +intimate friend, etc. Pechorin had used the more formal "you."] + +[Footnote 21: Team of three horses abreast.] + +[Footnote 22: Desyatnik, a superintendent of ten (men or huts), i.e. an +officer like the old English tithing-man or headborough.] + +[Footnote 23: Card-games.] + +[Footnote 24: A Caucasian wine.] + +[Footnote 25: Pushkin. Compare Shelley's Adonais, xxxi. 3: "as the last +cloud of an expiring storm."] + +[Footnote 26: The Snake, the Iron and the Bald Mountains.] + +[Footnote 27: Nizhegorod is the "government" of which Nizhniy Novgorod is +the capital.] + +[Footnote 271: A popular phrase, equivalent to: "How should I think of +doing such a thing?"] + +[Footnote 272: Published by Senkovski, and under the censorship of the +Government.] + +[Footnote 273: Civil servants of the ninth (the lowest) class.] + +[Footnote 28: i.e. serfs.] + +[Footnote 29: Pushkin: Eugene Onyegin.] + +[Footnote 30: Canto XVIII, 10: ] + + "Quinci al bosco t' invia, dove cotanti] + + Son fantasmi inganne vole e bugiardi"...] + +[Footnote 301: None of the Waverley novels, of course, bears this title. +The novel referred to is doubtless "Old Mortality," on which Bellini's +opera, "I Puritani di Scozia," is founded.] + +[Footnote 31: Popular phrases, equivalent to: "Men are fools, fortune is +blind, and life is not worth a straw."] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Hero of Our Time, by M. 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