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diff --git a/old/7fbrb10h.htm b/old/7fbrb10h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..57bd3a0 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/7fbrb10h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,3307 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content= + "text/html; charset=us-ascii"> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Far Above Rubies, by George + MacDonald. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + <!-- + * { font-family: Times;} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 14pt; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + // --> + </style> + </head> + <body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Far Above Rubies, by George MacDonald +#40 in our series by George MacDonald + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Far Above Rubies + +Author: George MacDonald + +Release Date: September, 2005 [EBook #8955] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on August 30, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FAR ABOVE RUBIES *** + + + + +David Garcia, Jonathan Ingram, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h1> + FAR ABOVE RUBIES + </h1> + <center> + <b>BY GEORGE MACDONALD</b> + </center> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + Hector Macintosh was a young man about five-and-twenty, who, + with the proclivities of the Celt, inherited also some of the + consequent disabilities, as well as some that were + accidental. Among the rest was a strong tendency to regard + only the ideal, and turn away from any authority derived from + an inferior source. His chief delight lay in the attempt to + embody, in what seemed to him the natural form of verse, the + thoughts in him constantly moving at least in the direction + of the ideal, even when he was most conscious of his + inability to attain to the utterance of them. But it was only + in the retirement of his own chamber that he attempted their + embodiment; of all things, he shrank from any communion + whatever concerning these cherished matters. Nor, indeed, had + he any friends who could tempt him to share with them what + seemed to him his best; so that, in truth, he was intimate + with none. His mind would dwell much upon love and friendship + in the imaginary abstract, but of neither had he had the + smallest immediate experience. He had cherished only the + ideals of the purest and highest sort of either passion, and + seemed to find satisfaction enough in the endeavor to embody + such in his verse, without even imagining himself in + communication with any visionary public. The era had not yet + dawned when every scribbler is consumed with the vain + ambition of being recognized, not, indeed, as what he is, but + as what he pictures himself in his secret sessions of + thought. That disease could hardly attack him while yet his + very imaginations recoiled from the thought of the inimical + presence of a stranger consciousness. Whether this was + modesty, or had its hidden base in conceit, I am, with the + few insights I have had into his mind, unable to determine. + </p> + <p> + That he had leisure for the indulgence of his bent was the + result of his peculiar position. He lived in the house of his + father, and was in his father's employment, so that he was + able both to accommodate himself to his father's requirements + and at the same time fully indulge his own especial taste. + The elder Macintosh was a banker in one of the larger county + towns of Scotland—at least, such is the profession and + position there accorded by popular consent to one who is, in + fact, only a bank-agent, for it is a post involving a good + deal of influence and a yet greater responsibility. Of this + responsibility, however, he had allowed his son to feel + nothing, merely using him as a clerk, and leaving him, as + soon as the stated hour for his office-work expired, free in + mind as well as body, until the new day should make a fresh + claim upon his time and attention. His mother seldom saw him + except at meals, and, indeed, although he always behaved + dutifully to her, there was literally no intercommunion of + thought or feeling between them—a fact which probably + had a good deal to do with the undeveloped condition in which + Hector found, or rather, did not find himself. Occasionally + his mother wanted him to accompany her for a call, but he + avoided yielding as much as possible, and generally with + success; for this was one of the claims of social convention + against which he steadily rebelled—the more + determinedly that in none of his mother's friends could he + take the smallest interest; for she was essentially a + commonplace because ambitious woman, without a spark of + aspiration, and her friends were of the same sort, without + regard for anything but what was—or, at least, they + supposed to be—the fashion. Indeed, it was hard to + understand how Hector came ever to be born of such a woman, + although in truth she was of as pure Celtic origin as her + husband—only blood is not spirit, and that is often + clearly manifest. His father, on the other hand, was not + without some signs of an imagination—quite undeveloped, + indeed, and, I believe, suppressed by the requirements of his + business relations. At the same time, Hector knew that he + cherished not a little indignation against the insolence of + the good Dr. Johnson in regard to both Ossian and his humble + translator, Macpherson, upholding the genuineness of both, + although unable to enter into and set forth the points of the + argument on either side. As to Hector, he reveled in the + ancient traditions of his family, and not unfrequently in his + earlier youth had made an attempt to re-embody some of its + legends into English, vain as regarded the retention of the + special airiness and suggestiveness of their vaguely showing + symbolism, for often he dropped his pen with a sigh of + despair at the illusiveness of the special aroma of the + Celtic imagination. For the rest, he had had as good an + education as Scotland could in those days afford him, one of + whose best features was the negative one that it did not at + all interfere with the natural course of his inborn + tendencies, and merely developed the power of expressing + himself in what manner he might think fit. Let me add that he + had a good conscience—I mean, a conscience ready to + give him warning of the least tendency to overstep any line + of prohibition; and that, as yet, he had never consciously + refused to attend to such warning. + </p> + <p> + Another thing I must mention is that, although his mind was + constantly haunted by imaginary forms of loveliness, he had + never yet been what is called <i>in love</i>. For he had + never yet seen anyone who even approached his idea of + spiritual at once and physical attraction. He was content to + live and wait, without even the notion that he was waiting + for anything. He went on writing his verses, and receiving + the reward, such as it was, of having placed on record the + thoughts which had come to him, so that he might at will + recall them. Neither had he any thought of the mental soil + which was thus slowly gathering for the possible growth of an + unknown seed, fit for growing and developing in that same + unknown soil. + </p> + <p> + One day there arrived in that cold Northern city a certain + cold, sunshiny morning, gay and sparkling, and with it the + beginning of what, for want of a better word, we may call his + fate. He knew nothing of its approach, had not the slightest + prevision that the divinity had that moment put his hand to + the shaping of his rough-hewn ends. It was early October by + the calendar, but leaves brown and spotted and dry lay + already in little heaps on the pavement—heaps made and + unmade continually, as if for the sport of the keen wind that + now scattered them with a rush, and again, extemporizing a + little evanescent whirlpool, gathered a fresh heap upon the + flags, again to rush asunder, as in direst terror of the + fresh-invading wind, determined yet again to scatter them, a + broken rout of escaping fugitives. Along the pavement, + seemingly in furtherance of the careless design of the wind, + a girl went heedlessly scushling along among the unresting + and unresisting leaves, making with her rather short skirt a + mimic whirlwind of her own. Her eyes were fixed on the + ground, and she seemed absorbed in anxious thought, which + thought had its origin in one of the commonest causes of + human perplexity—the need of money, and the + impossibility of devising a scheme by which to procure any. + It was but a few weeks since her father had died, leaving + behind him such a scanty provision for his widow and child + that only by the utmost care and coaxing were they able from + the first to make it meet their necessities. Nor, indeed, + would it have been possible for them to subsist had not a + brother of the widow supplemented their poor resources with + an uncertain contingent, whose continuance he was not able to + secure, or even dared to promise. + </p> + <p> + At the present moment, however, it was not anxiety as to + their own affairs that occupied the mind of Annie Melville, + near enough as that might have lain; it was the unhappy + condition in which the imprudence of a + school-friend—almost her only friend—had involved + herself by her hasty marriage with a man who, up to the + present moment, had shown no faculty for helping himself or + the wife he had involved in his fate, and who did not know + where or by what means to procure even the bread of which + they were in immediate want. + </p> + <p> + Now Annie had never had to suffer hunger, and the idea that + her companion from childhood should be exposed to such a fate + was what she could not bear. Yet, for any way out of it she + could see, it would have to be borne. She might possibly, by + herself going without, have given her a good piece of bread; + but then she would certainly share it with her foolish + husband, and there would be little satisfaction in that! They + had already arrived at a stage in their downward progress + when not gold, or even silver, but bare copper, was lacking + as the equivalent for the bread that could but keep them + alive until the next rousing of the hunger that even now lay + across their threshold. And how could she, in her all but + absolute poverty, do anything? Her mother was but one pace or + so from the same goal, and would, as a mother must, interfere + to prevent her useless postponement of the inevitable. It was + clear she could do nothing—and yet she could ill + consent that it should be so. + </p> + <p> + When her father almost suddenly left them alone, Annie was + already acting as assistant in the Girls' High + School—but, alas! without any recognition of her + services by even a promise of coming payment. She lived only + in the hope of a small salary, dependent on her definite + appointment to the office. To attempt to draw upon this hope + would be to imperil the appointment itself. She could not, + even for her friend, risk her mother's prospects, already + poor enough; and she could not help perceiving the + hopelessness of her friend's case, because of the utter + characterlessness of the husband to whom she was enslaved. + Why interfere with the hunger he would do nothing to + forestall? How could she even give such a man the sixpence + which had been her father's last gift to her? + </p> + <p> + But Annie was one to whom, in the course of her life, + something strange had not unfrequently happened, chiefly in + the shape of what the common mind would set aside as mere + coincidence. I do not say <i>many</i> such things had + occurred in her life; but, together, their strangeness and + their recurrence had caused her to remember every one of + them, so that, when she reviewed them, they seemed to her + many. And now, with a shadowy prevision, as it seemed, that + something was going to happen, and with a shadowy + recollection that she had known beforehand it was coming, + something strange did take place. Of such things she used, in + after days, always to employ the old, stately Bible-phrase, + "It came to pass"; she never said, "It happened." + </p> + <p> + As she walked along with her eyes on the ground, the withered + leaves caught up every now and then in a wild dance by the + frolicsome wind, she was suddenly aware of something among + them which she could not identify, whirling in the aerial + vortex about her feet. Scarcely caring what it was, she yet, + all but mechanically, looked at it a little closer, lost it + from sight, caught it again, as a fresh blast sent it once + more gyrating about her feet, and now regarded it more + steadfastly. Even then it looked like nothing but another + withered leaf, brown and wrinkled, given over to the wind, + and rustling along at its mercy. Yet it made an impression + upon her so far unlike that of a leaf that for a moment more + she fixed on it a still keener look of unconsciously + expectant eyes, and saw only that it looked—perhaps a + little larger than most of the other leaves, but as brown and + dead as they. Almost the same instant, however, she turned + and pounced upon it, and, the moment she handled it, became + aware that it felt less crumbly and brittle than the others + looked, and then saw clearly that it was not a leaf, but + perhaps a rag, or possibly a piece of soiled and rumpled + paper. With a curiosity growing to expectation, and in a + moment to wondering recognition, she proceeded to uncrumple + it carefully and smooth it out tenderly; nor was the process + quite completed when she fell upon her knees on the cold + flags, her little cloak flowing wide from the clasp at her + neck in a yet wilder puff of the bitter wind; but suddenly + remembering that she must not be praying in the sight of men, + started again to her feet, and, wrapping her closed hand + tight in the scanty border of her cloak, hurried, with the + pound-note she had rescued, to the friend whose need was + sorer than her own—not without an undefined anxiety in + her heart whether she was doing right. How much good the note + did, or whether it merely fell into the bottomless gulf of + irremediable loss, I cannot tell. Annie's friend and her + shiftless mate at once changed their dirty piece of paper for + silver, bought food and railway tickets, left the town, and + disappeared entirely from her horizon. + </p> + <p> + But consequences were not over with Annie; and the next day + she became acquainted with the fact that proved of great + significance to her, namely, that the same evening she found + the money, Mr. Macintosh's kitchen-chimney had been on fire; + and it wanted but the knowledge of how this had taken place + to change the girl's consciousness from that of one specially + aided by the ministry of an angel to that of a young woman, + honest hitherto, suddenly changed into a thief! + </p> + <p> + For, in the course of a certain friendly gossip's narrative, + it came out that that night the banker had been using the + kitchen fire for the destruction of an accumulation of + bank-notes, the common currency of Scotland, which had been + judged altogether too dirty, or too much dilapidated, to be + reissued. The knowledge of this fact was the slam of the + closing door, whereby Annie found her soul shut out to wander + in a night of dismay. The woman who told the fact saw nothing + of consequence in it; Mrs. Melville, to whom she was telling + it, saw nothing but perhaps a lesson on the duty of having + chimneys regularly swept, because of the danger to + neighboring thatch. But had not Annie been seated in the + shadow, her ghastly countenance would, even to the most + casual glance, have betrayed a certain guilty horror, for now + she <i>knew</i> that she had found and given away what she + ought at once to have handed back to its rightful owner. It + was true he did not even know that he had lost it, and could + have no suspicion that she had found it; but what difference + did or could that make? It was true also that she had neither + taken nor bestowed it to her own advantage; but again, what + difference could that make in her duty to restore it? Did she + not well remember how eloquently and precisely Mr. Kennedy + had, the very last Sunday, expounded the passage, "Thou shalt + not respect the person of the poor." Right was right, + whatever soft-hearted people might say or think. Anyone might + give what was his own, but who could be right in giving away + what was another's? It was time she had done it without + thinking; but she had known, or might have known, well enough + that to whomsoever it might belong, it was not hers. And now + what possibility was there of setting right what she had set + wrong? It was just possible a day might come when she should + be able to restore what she had unjustly taken, but at the + present moment it was as impossible for her to lay her hand + upon a pound-note as upon a million. And, terrible + thought!—she might have to enter the presence of her + father—dead, men called him, but alive she knew + him—with the consciousness that she had not brought him + back the honor he had left with her. + </p> + <p> + It will, of course, suggest itself to every reader that + herein she was driving her sense of obligation to the verge + of foolishness; and, indeed, the thought did not fail to + occur even to herself; but the answer of the self-accusing + spirit was that had she been thoroughly upright in heart, she + would at once have gone to the nearest house and made such + inquiry as must instantly have resulted in the discovery of + what had happened. This she had omitted—without + thought, it is true, but not, therefore, without blame; and + now, so far as she could tell, she would never be able to + make restitution! Had she even told her mother what befallen + her, her mother might have thought of the way in which it had + come to pass, and set her feet in the path of her duty! But + she had made evil haste, and had compassed too much. + </p> + <p> + She found herself, in truth, in a sore predicament, and was + on the point of starting to her feet to run and confess to + Mr. Macintosh what she had done, that he might at once + pronounce the penalty on what she never doubted he must + regard as a case of simple theft; but she bethought herself + that she would remain incapable of offering the least + satisfaction, and must therefore be regarded merely as one + who sought by confession to secure forgiveness and remission. + What proof had she to offer even that she had given the money + away? To mention the name of her friend would be to bring her + into discredit, and transfer to her the blame of her own act. + There was nothing she could do—and yet, however was she + to go about with such a load upon her conscience? Confessing, + she might at least be regarded as one who desired and meant + to be honest. Confession would, anyhow, ease the weight of + her load. Passively at last, from very weariness of thought, + her mind was but going backward and forward over its own + traces, heedlessly obliterating them, when suddenly a new and + horrid consciousness emerged from the trodden slime— + that she was glad that at least Sophy <i>had</i> the money! + For one passing moment she was glad with the joy of Lady + Macbeth, that what was done was done, and could not be + altered. Then once more the storm within her awoke and would + not again be stilled. + </p> + <p> + But now a third something happened which brought with it + hope, for it suggested a way of deliverance. Impelled by the + same power that causes a murderer to haunt the scene of his + violence, she left the house, and was unaware whither she was + directing her steps until she found herself again passing the + door of the banker's house; there, in that same + kitchen-window, on a level with the pavement, she espied, in + large pen-drawn print, the production apparently of the cook + or another of the servants, the announcement that a + parlor-maid was wanted immediately. Again without waiting to + think, and only afterwards waking up to the fact and meaning + of what she had done, she turned, went back to the + entry-door, and knocked. It was almost suddenly opened by the + cook, and at once the storm of her misery was assuaged in a + rising moon of hope, and the night became light about her. + Ah, through what miseries are not even frail hopes our best + and safest, our only <i>true</i> guides indeed, into other + and yet fairer hopes! + </p> + <p> + "Did you want to see the mistress?" asked the jolly-faced + cook, where she stood on the other side of the threshold; + and, without waiting an answer, she turned and led the way to + the parlor. Annie followed, as if across the foundation of + the fallen wall of Jericho; and found, to her surprise, that + Mrs. Macintosh, knowing her by sight, received her with + condescension, and Annie, grateful for the good-humor which + she took for kindness, told her simply that she had come to + see whether she would accept her services as parlor-maid. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Macintosh seemed surprised at the proposal, and asked + her the natural question whether she had ever occupied a + similar situation. + </p> + <p> + Annie answered she had not, but that at home, while her + father was alive, she had done so much of the same sort that + she believed she could speedily learn all that was necessary. + </p> + <p> + "I thought someone told me," said the lady, who was one of + the greatest gossips in the town, "that you were one of the + teachers in the High School?" + </p> + <p> + "That is true," answered Annie; "I was doing so upon + probation; but I had not yet begun to receive any salary for + it. I was only a sort of apprentice to the work, and under no + engagement." + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Macintosh, after regarding Annie for some time, and + taking silent observation of her modesty and good-breeding, + said at last: + </p> + <p> + "I like the look of you, Miss—, Miss——" + </p> + <p> + "My name is Annie Melville." + </p> + <p> + "Well, Annie, I confess I do not indeed <i>see</i> anything + particularly unsuitable in you, but at the same time I cannot + help fearing you may be—or, I should say rather, may + imagine yourself—superior to what may be required of + you." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, no, ma'am!" answered Annie; "I assure you I am too poor + to think of any such thing! Indeed, I am so anxious to make + money at once that, if you would consent to give me a trial, + I should be ready to come to you this very evening." + </p> + <p> + "You will have no wages before the end of your six months." + </p> + <p> + "I understand, ma'am." + </p> + <p> + "It is a risk to take you without a character." + </p> + <p> + "I am very sorry, ma'am; but I have no one that can vouch for + me—except, indeed, Mrs. Slater, of the High School, + would say a word in my favor." + </p> + <p> + "Well, well!" answered Mrs. Macintosh, "I am so far pleased + with you that I do not think I can be making a <i>great</i> + mistake if I merely give you a trial. You may come to-night, + if you like—that is, with your mother's permission." + </p> + <p> + Annie ran home greatly relieved, and told her mother what a + piece of good-fortune she had had. Mrs. Melville did not at + all take to the idea at first, for she cherished undefined + expections for Annie, and knew that her father had done so + also, for the girl was always reading, and had been for years + in the habit of reading aloud to him, making now and then a + remark that showed she understood well what she read. So the + mother took comfort in her disappointment that her child had, + solely for her sake, she supposed, betaken herself to such + service as would at once secure her livelihood and bring her + in a little money, for, with the shadow of coming want + growing black above them, even her first half-year's wages + was a point of hope and expectation. + </p> + <p> + "Well, Annie," she answered, after a few moments' + consideration, "it is but for a time; and you will be able to + give up the place as soon as you please, and the easier that + she only takes you on trial; that will hold for you as well + as for her." + </p> + <p> + But nothing was farther from Annie's intention than finding + the place would not suit her: no change could she dream of + before at least she had a pound-note in her hand, when at + once she would make it clear to her mother what a terrible + scare had driven her to the sudden step she had taken. Until + then she must go about with her whole head sick and her whole + heart faint; neither could she for many weeks rid herself of + the haunting notion that the banker, who was chiefly affected + by her crime,—for as such she fully believed and + regarded her deed,—was fully aware of her guilt. It + seemed to her, when at any moment he happened to look at her, + that now at last he must be on the point of letting her know + that he had read the truth in her guilty looks, and she + constantly fancied him saying to himself, "That is the girl + who stole my money; she feels my eyes upon her." Every time + she came home from an errand she would imagine her master + looking from the window of his private room on the first + floor, in readiness to cast aside forbearance and denounce + her: he was only waiting to make himself one shade surer! Ah, + how long was the time she had to await her cleansing, the + moment when she could go to him and say, "I have wronged, I + have robbed you; here is all I can do to show my repentance. + All this time I have been but waiting for my wages, to repay + what I had taken from you." And, oddly enough, she was always + mixing herself up with the man in the parable, who had + received from his master a pound to trade with and make more; + from her dreams she would wake in terror at the sound of that + master's voice, ordering the pound to be taken from her and + given to the school-fellow whom, at the cost of her own + honesty, she had befriended. Oh, joyous day when the doom + should be lifted from her, and she set free, to dream no + more! For surely, when at length her master knew all, with + the depth of her sorrow and repentance, he could not refuse + his forgiveness! Would he not even, she dared to hope, remit + the interest due on his money?—of which she + entertained, in her ignorance, a usurious and preposterous + idea. + </p> + <p> + The days went on, and the hour of her deliverance drew nigh. + But, long before it came, two other processes had been slowly + arriving at maturity. She had been gaining the confidence of + her mistress, so that, ere three months were over, the + arrangement of all minor matters of housekeeping was entirely + in her hands. It may be that Mrs. Macintosh was not a little + lazy, nor sorry to leave aside whatever did not positively + demand her personal attention; one thing I am sure of, that + Annie never made the smallest attempt to gain this favor, if + such it was. Her mistress would, for instance, keep losing + the keys of the cellaret, until in despair she at last + yielded them entirely to the care of Annie, who thereafter + carried them in her pocket, where they were always at hand + when wanted. + </p> + <p> + The other result was equally natural, but of greater + importance; Hector, the only child of the house, was + gradually and, for a long time, unconsciously falling in love + with Annie. Those friends of the family who liked Annie, and + felt the charm of her manners and simplicity, said only that + his mother had herself to blame, for what else could she + expect? Others of them, regarding her from the same point of + view as her mistress, repudiated the notion as absurd, saying + Hector was not the man to degrade himself! He was incapable + of such a misalliance. + </p> + <p> + But, as I have said already, Hector, although he had never + yet been in love, was yet more than usually ready to fall in + love, as belongs to the poetic temperament, when the fit + person should appear. As to what sort she might prove + depended on two facts in Hector—one, that he was + fastidious in the best meaning of the word, and the other + that he was dominated by sound good sense; a fact which even + his father allowed, although with a grudge, seeing he had + hitherto manifested no devotion to business, but spent his + free time in literary pursuits. Of the special nature of + those pursuits his father knew, or cared to know, nothing; + and as to his mother, she had not even a favorite hymn. + </p> + <p> + I may say, then, that the love of womankind, which in + solution, so to speak, pervaded every atomic interstice of + the nature of Hector, had gradually, indeed, but yet rapidly, + concentrated and crystallized around the idea of + Annie—the more homogeneously and absorbingly that she + was the first who had so moved him. It was, indeed, in the + case of each a first love, although in the case of neither + love at first sight. + </p> + <p> + Almost from the hour when first Annie entered the family, + Hector had looked on her with eyes of interest; but, for a + time, she had gone about the house with a sense almost of + being there upon false pretenses, for she knew that she was + doing what she did from no regard to any of its members, but + only to gain the money whose payment would relieve her from + an ever-present consciousness of guilt; and for this cause, + if for no other, she was not in danger of falling in love + with Hector. She was, indeed, too full of veneration for her + master and mistress, and for their son so immeasurably above + her, to let her thoughts rest upon him in any but a distantly + worshipful fashion. + </p> + <p> + But it was part of her duty, which was not over well-defined + in the house, to see that her young master's room was kept + tidy and properly dusted; and in attending to this it was + unavoidable that she should come upon indications of the way + in which he spent his leisure hours. Never dreaming, indeed, + that a servant might recognize at a glance what his father + and mother did not care to know, Hector was never at any + pains to conceal, or even to lay aside the lines yet wet from + his pen when he left the room; and Annie could not help + seeing them, or knowing what they were. Like many another + Scotch lassie, she was fonder of reading than of anything + else; and in her father's house she had had the free use of + what books were in it; nor is it, then, to be wondered at + that she was far more familiar with certain great books than + was ever many an Oxford man. Some never read what they have + no desire to assimilate; and some read what no expenditure of + reading could ever make them able to appropriate; but Annie + read, understood, and re-read the "Paradise Lost"; knew + intimately "Comus" as well; delighted in "Lycidas," and had + some of Milton's sonnets by heart; while for the Hymn on the + Nativity, she knew every line, had studied every turn and + phrase in it. It is sometimes a great advantage not to have + many books, and so never outgrow the sense of mystery that + hovers about even an open book-case; it was with awe and + reverence that Annie, looking around Hector's room, saw in + it, not daring to touch them, books she had heard of, but + never seen—among others a Shakspere in one thick volume + lay open on his table; nor is it, then, surprising that, when + putting his papers straight, she could not help seeing from + the different lengths of the lines upon them that they were + verse. She trembled and glowed at the very sight of them, for + she had in herself the instinct of sacred numbers, and in her + soul felt a vague hunger after what might be contained in + those loose papers—into which she did not even peep, + instinctively knowing it dishonorable. She trembled yet more + at recognizing the beautiful youth in the same house with + her, to whom she did service, as himself one of those gifted + creatures whom most she revered—a poet, perhaps another + such as Milton! Neither are all ladies, nor all servants of + ladies, honorable like Annie, or fit as she to be left alone + with a man's papers. + </p> + <p> + Hector knew very well how his mother would regard such an + alliance as had now begun to absorb every desire and thought + of his heart, and was the more careful to watch and repress + every sign of the same, foreseeing that, at the least + suspicion of the fact, she would lay all the blame upon + Annie, at once dismiss her from the house, and remain forever + convinced that she had entered it with the design in her + heart to make him fall in love with her. He therefore avoided + ever addressing her, except with a distant civility, the + easier to him that his mind was known only to himself, while + all the time the consciousness of her presence in it + enveloped the house in a rosy cloud. For a long time he did + not even dream of attempting a word with her alone, fondly + imagining that thus he gave his mother time to know and love + Annie before discovering anything between them to which she + might object. But he did not yet know how incapable that + mother was of any simple affection, being, indeed, one of the + commonest-minded of women. He believed also that the least + attempt to attract Annie's attention would but scare her, and + make her incapable of listening to what he might try to say. + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, Annie, under the influence of more and + better food, and that freedom from care which came of the + consciousness that she was doing her best both for her mother + and for her own moral emancipation, looked sweeter and grew + happier every day; no cloudy sense, no doubt of approaching + danger had yet begun to heave an ugly shoulder above her + horizon, neither had Hector begun to fret against the feeling + that he must not speak to her; in such a silence and in such + a presence he felt he could live happy for ages; he moved in + a lovely dream of still content. + </p> + <p> + And it was natural also that he should begin to burgeon + spiritually and mentally, to grow and flourish beyond any + experience in the past. Within a few such days of hidden + happiness, the power of verse, and of thoughts worthy of + verse, came upon him with as sure an inspiration of the + Almighty as can ever descend upon a man, accompanied by a + deeper sense of the being and the presence of God, and a + stronger desire to do the will of the Father, which is surely + the best thing God himself can kindle in the heart of any + man. For what good is there in creation but the possibility + of being yet further created? And what else is growth but + more of the will of God? + </p> + <p> + Something fresh began to stir in his mind; even as in the + spring, away in far depths of beginning, the sap gives its + first upward throb in the tree, and the first bud, as yet + invisible, begins to jerk itself forward to break from the + cerements of ante-natal quiescence, and become a growing + leaf, so a something in Hector that was his very life and + soul began to yield to unseen creative impulse, and throb + with a dim, divine consciousness. The second evening after + thus recognizing its presence he hurried up the stair from + the office to his own room, and there, sitting down, began to + write—not a sonnet to his charmer, neither any dream + about her, not even some sweet song of the waking spring + which he felt moving within him, but the first speech of a + dramatic poem. It was a bold beginning, but all beginners are + daring, if not presumptuous. Hector's aim was to embody an + ideal of check, of rousing, of revival, of new energy and + fresh start. All that evening he wrote with running pen, + forgot the dinner-bell after its first summons, and went on + until Annie knocked at his door, dispatched to summon him to + the meal. There was in Hector, indeed, as a small part of the + world came by-and-by to know, the making of a real poet, for + such there are in the world at all times—yea, even + now—although they may not be recognized, or even + intended to ripen in the course of one human season. I think + Annie herself was one of such—so full was she of + receptive and responsive faculty in the same kind, and I + remain in doubt whether the genuine enjoyment of verse be not + a fuller sign of the presence of what is most valuable in it + than even some power of producing it. For Hector, I imagine, + it gave strong proof of his being a poet indeed that, when he + opened the door to her knock, the appearance of Annie + herself, instead of giving him a thrill of pleasure, + occasioned him a little annoyance by the evanishment of a + just culminating train of thought into the vast and seething + void, into which he gazed after it in vain. And Annie + herself, although all the time in Hector's thought, revealed + herself only, after the custom of celestials, at the very + moment of her disappearance; her message delivered, she went + back to her duties at the table; and then first Hector woke + to the knowledge that she had been at his door, and was there + no more. During the last few days he had been gradually + approaching the resolve to keep silence no longer, but be + bold and tell Annie how full his heart was of her. One moment + he might have done so; one moment more, and he could not! + </p> + <p> + He followed close upon her steps, but not a word with her was + possible, and it seemed to Hector that she sped from him like + a very wraith to avoid his addressing her. Had she, then, he + asked himself, some dim suspicion of his feelings toward her, + or was she but making haste from a sense of propriety? + </p> + <p> + Now that very morning Mrs. Macintosh had been talking kindly + to Annie—as kindly, that is, as her abominable + condescension would permit—and, what to Annie was of + far greater consequence, had paid her her wages, rather more + than she had expected, so that nothing now lay between her + and the fall of her burden from her heavy-laden conscience, + except, indeed, her preliminary confession. Dinner, + therefore, being over, her mistress gone to the drawing room + to prepare the coffee, and her master to his room to write a + letter suddenly remembered, Hector was left alone with Annie. + Whereupon followed an amusing succession of disconnected + attempt and frustration. For no sooner had Mr. Macintosh left + the room than Annie darted from it after him, and Hector + darted after Annie, determined at length to speak to her. + When Annie, however, reached the foot of the stair, her + master was already up the first flight, and Annie's courage + failing her, she, turning sharply round, almost ran against + Hector, who was close behind her. The look of disappointment + on her face, to the meaning of which he had no clew, + quenching his courage next, he returned in silence to the + dining room, where Annie was now hovering aimlessly about the + table, until, upon his re-entrance, she settled herself + behind Hector's chair. He turned half-round, and would have + said something to her, but, seeing her pale and troubled, he + lapsed into a fit of brooding, and no longer dared speak to + her. Besides, his mother might come to the dining room at any + moment! + </p> + <p> + Then Annie, thinking she heard her master's re-descending + step, hurried again from the room; but only at once to return + afresh, which set Hector wondering yet more. Why on earth + should she be lying in ambush for his father? He did not know + that she was equally anxious to avoid the eyes of her + mistress. And while Annie was anxious to keep her secret from + the tongue of Mrs. Macintosh, Hector was as anxious to keep + his from the eyes of his mother until a fit moment should + arrive for its disclosure. But he imagined, I believe, that + Annie saw he wanted to speak to her, and thought she was + doing what she could to balk his intention. + </p> + <p> + But the necessity for disclosure was strongest in Annie, and + drove her to encounter what risk might be involved. So when + at last she heard a certain step of the stair creak, she + darted to the door, and left the room even while the hand of + her mistress, coming to say the coffee was ready, was on that + which communicated with the drawing room. + </p> + <p> + "I thought I heard Annie at the sideboard: is she gone?" she + said. + </p> + <p> + "She left the room this moment, I believe," answered Hector. + </p> + <p> + "What is she gone for?" + </p> + <p> + "I cannot say, mother," replied Hector indifferently, in the + act himself of leaving the room also, determined on yet + another attempt to speak to Annie. In the meantime, however, + Annie had found her opportunity. She had met Mr. Macintosh + halfway down the last flight of stairs, and had lifted to him + such a face of entreaty that he listened at once to her + prayer for a private interview, and, turning, led the way up + again to the room he had just left. There he shut the door, + and said to her pleasantly: + </p> + <p> + "Well, Annie, what is it?" + </p> + <p> + I am afraid his man-imagination had led him to anticipate + some complaint against Hector: he certainly was nowise + prepared for what the poor self-accusing girl had to say. + </p> + <p> + For one moment she stood unable to begin; the next she had + recovered her resolution: her face filled with a sudden glow; + and ere her master had time to feel shocked, she was on her + knees at his feet, holding up to him a new pound-note, one of + those her mistress had just given her. Familiar, however, as + her master was with the mean-looking things in which lay + almost all his dealings, he did not at first recognize the + object she offered him; while what connection with his wife's + parlor-maid it could represent was naturally inconceivable to + him. He stood for a moment staring at the note, and then + dropped a pair of dull, questioning eyes on the face of the + kneeling girl. He was not a man of quick apprehension, and + the situation was appallingly void of helpful suggestion. To + make things yet more perplexing, Annie sobbed as if her heart + would break, and was unable to utter a word. "What must a + stranger imagine," the poor man thought, "to come upon such a + tableau?" Her irrepressible emotion lasted so long that he + lost his patience and turned upon her, saying: + </p> + <p> + "I must call your mistress; she will know what to do with + you!" Instantly she sprang to her feet, and broke into + passionate entreaty. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, please, <i>please</i>, sir, have a minute's patience + with me," she cried; "you never saw me behave so badly + before!" + </p> + <p> + "Certainly not, Annie; I never did. And I hope you will never + do so again," answered her master, with reviving good-nature, + and was back in his first notion, that Hector had said + something to her which she thought rude and did not like to + repeat. He had never had a daughter, and perhaps all the more + felt pitiful over the troubled woman-child at his feet. + </p> + <p> + But, having once spoken out and conquered the spell upon her, + Annie was able to go on. She became suddenly quiet, and, + interrupted only by an occasional sob, poured out her whole + story, if not quite unbrokenly, at least without actual + intermission, while her master stood and listened without a + break in his fixed attention. By-and-by, however, a slow + smile began to dawn on his countenance, which spread and + spread until at length he burst into a laugh, none the less + merry that it was low and evidently restrained lest it should + be overheard. Like one suddenly made ashamed, Annie rose to + her feet, but still held out the note to her master. + </p> + <p> + How was it possible that her evil deed should provoke her + master to a fit of laughter? It might be easy for him in his + goodness to pardon her, but how could he treat her offense as + a thing of no consequence? Was it not a sin, which, like + every other sin, could nowise at all be cleansed? For even + God himself could not blot out the fact that she had done the + deed! And yet, there stood her master laughing! And, what was + more dreadful still, despite the resentment of her + conscience, her master's merriment so far affected herself + that she could not repress a responsive smile! It was no less + than indecent, and yet, even in that answering smile, her + misery of six months' duration passed totally away, melted + from her like a mist of the morning, so that she could not + even recall the feeling of her lost unhappiness. But, might + not her conscience be going to sleep? Was it not possible she + might be growing indifferent to right and wrong? Was she not + aware in herself that there were powers of evil about her, + seeking to lead her astray, and putting strange and horrid + things in her mind? + </p> + <p> + But, although he laughed, her master uttered no articulate + sound until she had ended her statement, by which time his + amusement had changed to admiration. Another minute still + passed, however, before he knew what answer to make. + </p> + <p> + "But, my good girl," he began, "I do not see that you have + anything to blame yourself for—at least, not anything + <i>worth</i> blaming yourself about. After so long a time, + the money found was certainly your own, and you could do what + you pleased with it." + </p> + <p> + "But, sir, I did not wait at all to see how it had happened, + or whether it might not be claimed. I believe, indeed, that I + hurried away at once, lest anyone should know I had it. I ran + to spend it at once, so for whatever happened afterward I was + to blame. Then, when it was too late, I learned that the + money was yours!" + </p> + <p> + "What did you do with it, if I may ask?" said the master. + </p> + <p> + "I gave it to a school-fellow of mine who had married a + helpless sort of husband and was in want of food." + </p> + <p> + "I am afraid you did not help them much by that," murmured + the banker. + </p> + <p> + "Please, sir, I knew no other way to help them; and the money + seemed to have been given me for them. I soon came to know + better, and have been sorry ever since. I knew that I had no + right to give it away as soon as I knew whose it was." + </p> + <p> + She ceased, but still held out the note to him. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Macintosh stood again silent, and made no movement toward + taking it. + </p> + <p> + "Please, sir, take the money, and forgive me," pleaded Annie. + "And please, sir, <i>please</i> do not say anything about it + to anybody. Even my mother does not know." + </p> + <p> + "Now there you did wrong. You ought to have told your + mother." + </p> + <p> + "I see that now, sir; but I was so glad to be able to help + the poor creatures that I did not think of it till + afterwards." + </p> + <p> + "I dare say your mother would have been glad of the money + herself; I understand she was not left very well off." + </p> + <p> + "At that time I did not know she was so poor. But now that my + mistress has paid me such good wages, I am going to take her + every penny of them this very afternoon." + </p> + <p> + "And then you will tell her, will you not?" + </p> + <p> + "I shall not mind telling her when you have taken it back. I + was afraid to tell her before! It was to pay you back that I + asked Mrs. Macintosh to take me for parlor-maid." + </p> + <p> + "Then you were not in service before?" + </p> + <p> + "No, sir. You see, my mother thought I could earn my bread in + a way we should both like better." + </p> + <p> + "So now you will give up service and go back to her?" + </p> + <p> + "I am not sure, sir. It would be long, I fear, before the + school would pay me as well. You see, I have my food here + too. And everything tells. Please, sir, take the pound." + </p> + <p> + "My dear girl," said her master, "I could not think of + depriving you of what you have so well earned. It is more + than enough to me that you want to repay it. I positively + cannot take it." + </p> + <p> + "Indeed, I do want to repay it, sir," rejoined Annie. "It's + anything but willing I shall be <i>not</i> to repay it. + Indeed, there is no other way to get my soul free." + </p> + <p> + Here it seems time I should mention that Hector, weary of + waiting Annie's return, had left the dining room to look for + her; and running up the stair, not without the dread of + hearing his mother's foot behind him, had slid softly into + his father's room, to find Annie on her knees before him, and + hear enough to understand her story before either his father + or she was aware of his presence. + </p> + <p> + "I beg your pardon, sir, but indeed you must take it," urged + Annie. "Surely you would not be so cruel to a poor girl who + prays you to take the guilt off her back. Don't you see, sir, + I never can look my father in the face till I have paid the + money back!" + </p> + <p> + Here his father caught sight of Hector, and, perceiving that + Annie had not yet seen him, and possibly glad of a witness, + put up his hand to him to keep still. "Where is your father, + then?" he asked Annie. + </p> + <p> + "In heaven somewhere," she answered, "waiting for my mother + and me. Oh, father!" she broke out, "if only you had been + alive you would soon have got me out of my shame and misery! + But, thank God! it will soon be over now; my master cannot + refuse to set me free." + </p> + <p> + "Certainly I will set you free," said Mr. Macintosh, a good + deal touched. "With all my heart I forgive you + the—the—the debt, and I thank you for bringing me + to know the honestest girl—I mean, the most honorable + girl I have ever yet had the pleasure to meet." + </p> + <p> + Hector had been listening, hardly able to contain his + delight, and at these last words of his father, like the + blundering idiot he was, he rushed forward, and, clasping + Annie to his heart, cried out: + </p> + <p> + "Thank God, Annie, my father at least knows what you are!" + </p> + <p> + He met with a rough and astounding check. Far too startled to + see who it was that thus embraced her, and unprepared to + receive such a salutation, least of all from one she had + hitherto regarded as the very prince of gentleness and + courtesy, she met it with a sound, ringing box on the ear, + which literally staggered Hector, and sent his father into a + second peal of laughter, this time as loud as it was merry, + and the next moment swelled in volume by that of Hector + himself. + </p> + <p> + "Thank you, Annie!" he cried. "I never should have thought + you could hit so hard. But, indeed, I beg your pardon. I + forgot myself and you too when I behaved so badly. But I'm + not sorry, father, after all, for that box on the ear has got + me over a difficult task, and compelled me to speak out at + once what has been long in my mind, but which I had not the + courage to say. Annie," he went on, turning to her, and + standing humbly before her, "I have long loved you; if you + will do me the honor to marry me, I am yours the moment you + say so." + </p> + <p> + But Annie's surprise and the hasty act she had committed in + the first impulse of defense had so reacted upon her in a + white dismay that she stood before him speechless and almost + ready to drop. Awakening from what was fast growing a mere + dream of offense to the assured consciousness of another + offense almost as flagrant, she stared as if she had suddenly + opened her eyes on a whole Walpurgisnacht of demons and + witches, while Hector, recovering from his astonishment to + the lively delight of having something to pretend at least to + forgive Annie, and yielding to sudden Celtic impulse, knelt + at her feet, seized her hand, which she had no power to + withdraw from him, covered it with eager kisses and placed it + on his head. Little more would have made him cast himself + prone before her, lift her foot, and place it on his neck. + </p> + <p> + But his father brought a little of his common sense to the + rescue. + </p> + <p> + "Tut, Hector!" he said; "give the lass time to come to her + senses. Would you woo her like a raving maniac? I don't, + indeed, wonder, after what you heard her tell me, that you + should have taken such a sudden fancy to her; but—" + </p> + <p> + "Father," interrupted Hector, "it is no fancy—least of + all a sudden one! I fell in love with Annie the very first + time I saw her waiting at table. It is true I did not + understand what had befallen me for some time; but I do, and + I did from the first, and now forever I shall both love and + worship Annie!" + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Hector," said Annie, "it was too bad of you to listen. I + did not know anyone was there but your father. You were never + intended to hear; and I did not think you would have done + such a dishonorable thing. It was not like you, Mr. Hector!" + </p> + <p> + How was I to know you had secrets with my father, Annie? + Dishonorable or not, the thing is done, and I am glad of + it—especially to have heard what you had no intention + of telling me." + </p> + <p> + "I could not have believed it of you, Mr. Hector!" persisted + Annie. + </p> + <p> + "But, now that I think of it," suggested Mr. Macintosh, "may + not your mother think she has something to say in the matter + between you?" + </p> + <p> + This was a thought already dawning upon her that terrified + Annie; she knew, indeed, perfectly how his mother would + regard Hector's proposal, and she dared not refer the matter + to her decision. + </p> + <p> + "I must be out of the house first, Mr. Hector," she + said—and I think she meant—"before I confess my + love." + </p> + <p> + The impression Annie had made upon her master may be judged + from the fact that he rose and went, leaving his son and the + parlor-maid together. + </p> + <p> + What then passed between them I cannot narrate precisely. + Overwhelmed by Hector's avowal, and quite unprepared as she + had been for it, it was yet no unwelcome news to Annie. + Indeed, the moment he addressed her, she knew in her heart + that she had been loving him for a long time, though never + acknowledging to herself the fact. Such must often be the + case between two whom God has made for each other. And + although he were a bold man who said that marriages were made + in heaven, he were a bolder who denied that love at first + sight was never there decreed. For where God has fitted + persons for each other, what can they do but fall mutually in + love? Who will then dare to say he did not decree that + result? As to what may follow after from their own behavior, + I would be as far from saying that was <i>not</i> decreed as + from saying the conduct itself <i>was</i> decreed. Surely + there shall be room left, even in the counsels of God, for as + much liberty as belongs to our being made in his + image—free like him to choose the good and refuse the + evil! He who <i>has</i> chosen the good remains in the law of + liberty, free to choose right again. He who always chooses + the right, will at length be free to choose like God himself, + for then shall his will itself be free. Freedom to choose and + freedom of the will are two different conditions. + </p> + <p> + Before the lovers, which it wanted no moment to make them, + left the room, they had agreed that Annie must at once leave + the house. Hector took her to her mother's door, and when he + returned he found that his father and mother had retired. But + it may be well that I should tell a little more of what had + passed between the lovers before they parted. + </p> + <p> + Annie's first thought when they were left together was, + "Alas! what will my mistress say? She must think the worst + possible of me!" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Hector!" she broke out, "whatever will your mother think + of me?" + </p> + <p> + "No good, I'm afraid," answered Hector honestly. "But that is + hardly what we have to think of at this precise moment." + </p> + <p> + "Take back what you said!" cried Annie; "I will promise you + never to think of it again—at least, I will <i>try</i> + never once to do so. It must have been all my + fault—though I do not know how, and never dreamed it + was coming. Perhaps I shall find out, when I think over it, + where I was to blame." + </p> + <p> + "I have no doubt you are capable of inventing a hundred + reasons—after hearing your awful guilty confession to + my father, you little innocent!" answered Hector. + </p> + <p> + And the ice thus broken, things went on a good deal better, + and they came to talk freely. + </p> + <p> + "Of course," said Hector, "I am not so silly or so wicked as + to try to persuade you that my mother will open her arms to + you. She knows neither you nor herself." + </p> + <p> + "Will she be terribly angry?" said Annie, with a foreboding + quaver in her voice. + </p> + <p> + "Rather, I am afraid," allowed Hector. + </p> + <p> + "Then don't you think we had better give it up at once?" + </p> + <p> + "Never forever!" cried Hector. "That is not what I fell in + love with you for! I will not give you up even for Death + himself! He is not the ruler of our world. No lover is worthy + of the name who does not defy Death and all his works!" + </p> + <p> + "I am not afraid of him, Hector. I, too, am ready to defy + him. But is it right to defy your mother?" + </p> + <p> + "It is, when she wants one to be false and dishonorable. For + herself, I will try to honor her as much as she leaves + possible to me. But my mother is not my parents." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, please, Hector, don't quibble. You would make me doubt + you!" + </p> + <p> + "Well, we won't argue about it. Let us wait to hear what + <i>your</i> mother will say to it to-morrow, when I come to + see you." + </p> + <p> + "You really will come? How pleased my mother will be!" + </p> + <p> + "Why, what else should I do? I thought you were just talking + of the honor we owe to our parents! Your mother is mine too." + </p> + <p> + "I was thinking of yours then." + </p> + <p> + "Well, I dare say I shall have a talk with <i>my</i> mother + first, but what <i>your</i> mother will think is of far more + consequence to me. I know only too well what my mother will + say; but you must not take that too much to heart. She has + always had some girl or other in her mind for me; but if a + man has any rights, surely the strongest of all is the right + to choose for himself the girl to marry—if she will let + him." + </p> + <p> + "Perhaps his mother would choose better." + </p> + <p> + "Perhaps you do not know, Annie, that I am five-and-twenty + years of age: if I have no right yet to judge for myself, + pray when do you suppose I shall?" + </p> + <p> + "It's not the right I'm thinking of, but the experience." + </p> + <p> + "Ah, I see! You want me to fall in love with a score of women + first, so that I may have a chance of choosing. Really, + Annie, I had not thought you would count that a great + advantage. For my part, I have never once been in love but + with you, and I confess to a fancy that that might almost + prove a recommendation to you. But I suppose you will at + least allow it desirable that a man should love the girl he + marries? If my preference for you be a mere boyish fancy, as + probably my mother is at this moment trying to persuade my + father, at what age do you suppose it will please God to give + me the heart of a man? My mother is sure to prefer somebody + not fit to stand in your dingiest cotton frock. Anybody but + you for my wife is a thing unthinkable. God would never + degrade me to any choice of my mother's! He knows you for the + very best woman I shall ever have the chance of marrying. + Shall I tell you the sort of woman my mother would like me to + marry? Oh, I know the sort! First, she must be tall and + handsome, with red, fashionable hair, and cool, offhand + manners. She must never look shy or put out, or as if she did + not know what to say. On the contrary, she must know who's + who, and what's what, and never wear a dowdy bonnet, but + always a stunning hat. And she must have a father who can + give her something handsome when she is married. That's my + mother's girl for me. I can't bear to look such a girl in the + face! She makes me ashamed of myself and of her. The sort I + want is one that grows prettier and prettier the more you + love and trust her, and always looks best when she is busiest + doing something for somebody. Yes, she has black hair, black + as the night; and you see the whiteness of her face in the + darkest night. And her eyes, they are blue, oh, as blue as + bits of the very sky at midnight! and they shine and flash + so—just like yours, and nobody else's, my darling." + </p> + <p> + But here they heard footsteps on the stair—those of + Mrs. Macintosh, hurrying up to surprise them. They guessed + that her husband had just left her, and that she was in a + wild fury; simultaneously they rose and fled. Hector would + have led the way quietly out by the front door; but Annie + turning the other way to pass through the kitchen, Hector at + once turned and followed her. But he had hardly got up with + her before she was safe in her mother's house, and the door + shut behind them. There Hector bade her goodnight, and, + hastening home, found all the lights out, and heard his + father and mother talking in their own room; but what they + said he never knew. + </p> + <p> + The next morning Annie had hardly done dressing when she + heard a knock at the street-door. + </p> + <p> + "That'll be Hector, mother," she said. "I'm thinking he'll be + come to have a word with you." + </p> + <p> + "Annie!" exclaimed her mother, in rebuke of the liberty she + took. "But if you mean young Mr. Macintosh, what on earth can + he want with me?" + </p> + <p> + "Bide a minute, mother," answered Annie, "and he'll tell you + himself." + </p> + <p> + So Mrs. Melville went to the door and opened it to the young + man, who stood there shy and expectant. + </p> + <p> + "Mrs. Melville," he said, "I have come to tell you that I + love your Annie, and want to make her <i>my</i> Annie as + well. I am more sorry than I can tell you to confess that I + am not able to marry at once, but please wait a little while + for me. I shall do my best to take you both home with me as + soon as possible." + </p> + <p> + She looked for a moment silently in his face, then, throwing + her arms round his neck, answered: + </p> + <p> + "And I wonder who wouldn't be glad to wait for your sweet + face to the very Day of Judgment, sir, when all must have + their own at last." + </p> + <p> + Therewith she burst into tears, and, turning, led the way to + the parlor. + </p> + <p> + "Here's your Hector, Annie," she said as she opened the door. + "Take him, and make much of him, for I'm sure he deserves + it." + </p> + <p> + Then she drew him hastily into the room, and closed the door. + </p> + <p> + "You see," Hector went on, "I must let you both know that my + mother is dead against my having Annie. She thinks, of + course, that I might do better; but I know she is only far + too good for me, and that I shall be a fortunate as well as + happy man the day we come together. She has already proved + herself as true a woman as ever God made." + </p> + <p> + "She is that, sir, as I know and can testify, who have known + her longer than anybody else. But sit you down and love each + other, and never mind me; I'll not be a burden to you as long + as I can lift a hand to earn my own bread. And when I'm old + and past work, I'll not be too proud to take whatever you can + spare me, and eat it with thankfulness." + </p> + <p> + So they sat down, and were soon making merry together. + </p> + <p> + But nothing could reconcile Mrs. Macintosh to the thought of + Annie for her daughter-in-law; her pride, indignation, and + disappointment were much too great, and they showed + themselves the worse that her husband would not say a word + against either Annie or Hector, who, he insisted, had behaved + very well. He would not go a step beyond confessing that the + thing was not altogether as he could have wished, but upheld + that it contained ground for satisfaction. In vain he called + to his wife's mind the fact that neither she nor he were by + birth or early position so immeasurably above Annie. Nothing + was of any use to calm her; nothing would persuade her that + Annie had not sought their service with the express purpose + of carrying away her son. Her behavior proved, indeed, that + Annie had done prudently in going at once home to her mother, + where presently her late mistress sought and found her; + acting royally the part of one righteously outraged in her + dearest dignity. Her worst enemy could have desired for her + nothing more degrading than to see and hear her. She insisted + that Hector should abjure Annie, or leave the house. Hector + laid the matter before his father. He encouraged him to humor + his mother as much as he could, and linger on, not going + every night to see the girl, in the hope that time might work + some change. But the time passed in bitter reproaches on the + part of the mother, and expostulations on the part of the + son, and there appeared no sign of the amelioration the + father had hoped for. The fact was that Mrs. Macintosh's + natural vulgarity had been so pampered by what she regarded + as wealth, and she had grown so puffed up, that her very + person seemed to hold the door wide for the devil. For + self-importance is perhaps a yet deeper root of all evil than + even the love of money. Any deep, honest affection might have + made it too hot for the devil, but in her heart there was + little room for such a love. She seemed to believe in nothing + but mode and fashion, to care for nothing but what she called + "the thing." She grew in self-bulk, and gathered more and + more weight in her own esteem: she wore yet showier and more + vulgar clothes, and actually cultivated a slang that soon + bade farewell to delicacy, so that she sank and she sank, and + she ate and she drank, until at last she impressed her + good-natured clergyman himself as one but a very little above + the beasts that perish—if, indeed, she was in any + respect equal to a good, conscientious dog! She retained, + however, this much respect for her son, for which that son + gave her little thanks, that by-and-by she limited herself to + ex-pending all her contempt upon Annie, and toward Hector + settled into a dogged silence, where upon he, finding it + impossible to make any progress toward an understanding where + he could not even get a reply, at last gave up the attempt + and became as silent as she. + </p> + <p> + To poor Annie it was a terrible thought that she should thus + have come between mother and son; but she remembered that she + had read of mothers who without cause had even hated their + own flesh, and how much the more might not she who knew her + ambitions and designs so utterly opposed to the desires of + her son? + </p> + <p> + And thereupon all at once awoke in Annie the motherhood that + lies deepest of all in the heart of every good woman, making + her know in herself that, his mother having forsaken him, she + had no choice but take him up and be to him henceforward both + wife and mother. What remains of my story will perhaps serve + to show how far she succeeded in fulfilling this her vow. + </p> + <p> + At last Mr. Macintosh saw that things could not thus + continue, and that he had better accept an offer made him + some time before by a London correspondent—to take + Hector into his banking-house and give him the opportunity of + widening his experience and knowledge of business; and + Hector, on his part, was eager to accept the proposal. The + salary offered for his services was certainly not a very + liberal one, but the chief attraction was that the hours were + even shorter than they had been with his father, and would + yet enlarge his liberty of an evening. Hector's delights, as + we have seen, had always lain in literature, and in that + direction the labor in him naturally sought an outlet. Now + there seemed a promise of his being able to pursue it yet + more devotedly than before: who could tell but he might ere + long produce something that people might care to read? Some + publisher might even care to put it in print, and people + might care to buy it! That would start him in a more genuine + way of living, and he might the sooner be able to marry + Annie—an aspiration surely legitimate and not too + ambitious. He had had a good education, and considered + himself to be ably equipped. It was true he had not been to + either Oxford or Cambridge, but he had enjoyed the advantages + possessed by a Scotch university even over an English one, + consisting mainly in the freedom of an unhampered + development. Since then he had read largely, and had + cultivated naturally wide sympathies. As his vehicle for + utterance, we have already seen that he had a great + attraction to verse, and had long held and argued that the + best training for effective prose was exercise in the fetters + of verse—a conviction in which he had lived long enough + to confirm himself, and perhaps one or two besides. + </p> + <p> + His relations with his mother, and consequent impediments to + seeing Annie, took away the sting of having to part with her + for awhile; and, when he finally closed with the offer, she + at once resumed her application for a place in the High + School, and was soon accepted, for there were not a few in + the town capable of doing justice to her fitness for the + office; so that now she had the joy not merely of being able + to live with her mother as before, and of contributing to her + income, but of knowing at the same time that she lived in a + like atmosphere with Hector, where her growth in the + knowledge of literature, and her experience in the world of + thought, would be gradually fitting her for a companion to + him whom she continued to regard as so much above her. Her + marked receptivity in the matter of verse, and her intrinsic + discrimination of nature and character in it, became in her, + at length, as they grew, sustaining forces, enlarging her + powers both of sympathy and judgment, so that soon she came + to feel, in reading certain of the best writers, as if she + and Hector were looking over the same book together, reading + and pondering it as one, simultaneously seeing what the + writer meant and felt and would have them see and feel. So + that, by the new intervention of space, they were in no sense + or degree separated, but rather brought by it actually, that + is, spiritually, nearer to each other. Also Hector wrote to + her regularly on a certain day of every week, and very rarely + disappointed her of her expected letter, in which he uttered + his thoughts and feelings more freely than he had ever been + able to do in conversation. This also was a gain to her, for + thus she went on to know him better and better, rising + rapidly nearer to his level of intellectual development, + while already she was more than his equal in the moral + development which lies at the root of all capacity for + intellectual growth. So Annie grew, as surely—without + irreverence I may say—in favor both with God and man; + for at the same time she grew constantly in that loveliest of + all things—humanity. + </p> + <p> + Nor was Hector left without similar consolation in his life, + although passed apart from Annie. For, not to mention the + growing pleasure that he derived from poring over Annie's + childlike letters—and here I would beg my reader to + note the essential distinction betwixt childish and + childlike—full of the keenest perceptions and the + happiest phrases, he had soon come to make the acquaintance + of a kindred spirit, a man whom, indeed, it took a long time + really to know, but who, being from the first attracted to + him, was soon running down the inclined plane of + acquaintanceship with rapidly increasing velocity toward + something far better than mere acquaintance: nor was there + any check in their steady approach to a thorough knowledge of + each other. He was a slightly older man, with a greater + experience of men, and a good deal wider range of interests, + as could hardly fail to be the case with a Londoner. But the + surprising thing to both of them was that they had so many + feelings in common, giving rise to many judgments and + preferences also in common; so that Hector had now a + companion in whom to find the sympathy necessary to the + ripening of his taste in such a delicate pursuit as that of + verse; and their proclivities being alike, they ran together + like two drops on a pane of glass; whence it came that at + length, in the confident expectation of understanding and + sympathy, Hector found himself submitting to his friend's + judgment the poem he had produced when first grown aware that + he was in love with Annie Melville; although such was his + sensitiveness in the matter of his own productions that + hitherto he had not yet ventured on the experiment with Annie + herself. + </p> + <p> + His new friend read, was delighted; read again, and spoke out + his pleasure; and then first Hector knew the power of + sympathy to double the consciousness of one's own faculty. He + took up again the work he had looked upon as finished, and + went over it afresh with wider eyes, keener judgment, and + clearer purpose; when the result was that, through the + criticisms passed upon it by his friend, and the reflection + of the poem afresh in his own questioning mind, he found many + things that had to be reconsidered; after which he committed + the manuscript, carefully and very legibly re-written, once + more to his friend, who, having read it yet again, was more + thoroughly pleased with it than before, and proposed to + Hector to show it to another friend to whom the ear of a + certain publisher lay open. The favorable judgment of this + second friend was patiently listened to by the publisher, and + his promise given that the manuscript should receive all + proper attention. + </p> + <p> + On this part of my story there is no occasion to linger; for, + strange thing to tell,—strange, I mean, from the + unlikelihood of its happening,—the poem found the + sympathetic spot in the heart of the publisher, who had + happily not delegated the task to his reader, but read it + himself; and he made Hector the liberal offer to undertake + all the necessary expenses, giving him a fair share of + resulting profits. + </p> + <p> + Stranger yet, the poem was so far a success that the whole + edition, not a large one, was sold, with a result in money + necessarily small but far from unsatisfactory to Hector. At + the publisher's suggestion, this first volume was soon + followed by another; and thus was Hector fairly launched on + the uncertain sea of a literary life; happy in this, that he + was not entirely dependent on literature for his bodily + sustenance, but was in a position otherwise to earn at least + his bread and cheese. For some time longer he continued to + have no experience of the killing necessity of writing for + his daily bread, beneath which so many aspiring spirits sink + prematurely exhausted and withered; this was happily + postponed, for there are as much Providence and mercy in the + orderly arrangement of our trials as in their inevitable + arrival. + </p> + <p> + His reception by what is called the public was by no means so + remarkable or triumphant as to give his well-wishers any + ground for anxiety as to its possible moral effect upon him; + but it was a great joy to him that his father was much + interested and delighted in the reception of the poem by the + Reviews in general. He was so much gratified, indeed, that he + immediately wrote to him stating his intention of + supplementing his income by half as much more. + </p> + <p> + This reflected opinion of others wrought also to the + mollifying of his mother's feelings toward him; but those + with which she regarded Annie they only served to indurate, + as the more revealing the girl's unworthiness of him. And + although at first she regarded with favor her husband's kind + intention toward Hector, she faced entirely round when he + showed her a letter he had from his son thanking him for his + generosity, and communicating his intention of begging Annie + to come to him and be married at once. + </p> + <p> + Annie was living at home, feeding on Hector's letters, and + strengthened by her mother's sympathy. She was teaching + regularly at the High School, and adding a little to their + common income by giving a few music lessons, as well as + employing her needle in a certain kind of embroidery a good + deal sought after, in which she excelled. She had heard + nothing of his having begun to distinguish himself, neither + had yet seen one of the reviews of his book, for no one had + taken the trouble to show her any of them. + </p> + <p> + One day, however, as she stood waiting a moment for something + she wanted in the principal bookshop of the town, a little + old lady, rather shabbily dressed, came in, whom she heard + say to the shopman, in a gentle voice, and with the loveliest + smile: + </p> + <p> + "Have you another copy of this new poem by your townsman, + young Macintosh?" + </p> + <p> + "I am sorry I have not, ma'am," answered the shopman; "but I + can get you one by return of post." + </p> + <p> + "Do, if you please, and send it me at once. I am very glad to + hear it promises to be a great success. I am sure it quite + deserves it. I have already read it through twice. You may + remember you got me a copy the other day. I cannot help + thinking it an altogether remarkable production, especially + for so young a man. He is quite young, I believe?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, ma'am—to have already published a book. But as to + any wonderful success, there is so little sale for poetry + nowadays. I believe the one you had yourself, my lady, is the + only one we have been asked for." + </p> + <p> + "Much will depend," said the lady, "on whether it finds a + channel of its own soon enough. But get me another copy, + anyhow—and as soon as you can, please. I want to send + it to my daughter. There is matter between those Quaker-like + boards that I have found nowhere else. I want my daughter to + have it, and I cannot part with my own copy," concluded the + old lady, and with the words she walked out of the shop, + leaving Annie bewildered, and with the strange feeling of a + surprise, which yet she had been expecting. For what else but + such success could come to Hector? Had it not been drawing + nearer and nearer all the time? And for a moment she seemed + again to stand, a much younger child than now, amid the gusty + whirling of the dead leaves about her feet, once more on the + point of stooping to pick up what might prove a withered + leaf, but was in reality a pound-note, the thing which had + wrought her so much misery, and was now filling her cup of + joy to the very brim. The book the old lady had talked of + could be no other than Hector's book. No other than Hector + could have written it. What a treasure there was in the world + that she had never seen! How big was it? what was it like? + She was sure to know it the moment her eyes fell upon it. But + why had he never told her about it? He might have wanted to + surprise her, but she was not the least surprised. She had + known it all the time! He had never talked about what he was + writing, and still less would he talk of what he was going to + write. Intentions were not worthy of his beautiful mouth! + Perhaps he did not want her to read it yet. When he did, he + would send her a copy. And, oh! when would her mother be able + to read it? Was it a very dear book? There could be no + thought of their buying it! Between them, she and her mother + could not have shillings enough for that. When the right time + came, he would send it. Then it would be twice as much hers + as if she had bought it for herself. + </p> + <p> + The next day she met Mr. and Mrs. Macintosh, and the former + actually congratulated her on what Hector had done and what + people thought of him for it; but the latter only gave a + sniff. And the next post brought the book itself, and with it + a petition from Hector that she would fix the day to join him + in London. + </p> + <p> + Annie made haste, therefore, to get ready the dress of white + linen in which she meant to be married, and a lady, the + sister of Hector's friend, meeting her in London, they were + married the next day, and went together to Hector's humble + lodgings in a northern suburb. + </p> + <p> + Hector's new volume, larger somewhat, but made up of smaller + poems, did not attract the same amount of attention as the + former, and the result gave no encouragement to the publisher + to make a third venture. One reason possibly was that the + subjects of most of the poems, even the gayest of them, were + serious, and another may have been that the common tribe of + reviewers, searching like other parasites, discovered in them + material for ridicule—which to them meant food, and as + such they made use of it. At the same time he was not left + without friends: certain of his readers, who saw what he + meant and cared to understand it, continued his readers; and + his influence on such was slowly growing, while those that + admired, feeling the power of his work, held by him the more + when the scoffers at him grew insolent. Still, few copies + were sold, and Hector found it well that he had other work + and was not altogether dependent on his pen, which would have + been simple starvation. And, from the first, Annie was most + careful in her expenditure. + </p> + <p> + Among the simple people whom husband brought her to know, she + speedily became a great favorite, and this circle widened + more rapidly after she joined it. For her simple truth, which + even to Hector had occasionally seemed some what overdriven, + now revealed itself as the ground of her growing popularity. + She welcomed all, was faithful to all, and sympathetic with + all. Nor was it longer before her husband began to study her + in order to understand her—and that the more that he + could find in her neither plan nor system, nothing but + straightforward, foldless simplicity. Nor did she ever come + to believe less in the foreseeing care of God. She ceased + perhaps to attribute so much to the ministry of the angels as + when she took the fiercer blast that rescued from the flames + the greasy note and blew it uncharred up the roaring chimney + for the sudden waft of an angel's wing; but she came to meet + them oftener in daily life, clothed in human form, though + still they were rare indeed, and often, like the angel that + revealed himself to Manoah, disappeared upon recognition. + </p> + <p> + By-and-by it seemed certain that, if ever Hector had had + anything of what the world counts success, it had now come to + a pause. For a long time he wrote nothing that, had it been + published, could have produced any impression like that of + his first book; it seemed as if the first had forestalled the + success of those that should follow. That had been of a new + sort, and the so-called Public, innocent little + personification, was not yet grown ready for anything more of + a similar kind, which, indeed, seemed to lack elements of + attraction and interest; and the readers to whom the same man + will tell even new things are apt to grow weary of his mode + of saying, even though that mode have improved in directness + and force; the tide of his small repute had already begun to + take the other direction. Those who understood and prized his + work, still holding by him, and declaring that they found in + him what they found in no other writer, remained stanch in + their friendship, and among them the little old lady who had + at once welcomed his first poem to her heart and whose name + and position were now well known to Hector. But the + reviewers, seeming to have forgotten their first favorable + reception of him, now began to find nothing but faults in his + work, pointing out only what they judged ill contrived and + worse executed in his conceptions, and that in a tone to + convey the impression that he had somehow wheedled certain of + them into their former friendly utterances concerning him. + </p> + <p> + And about the same time it so happened that business began to + fall away rapidly from the bank of which his father held the + chief country agency, so that he was no longer able to + continue to Hector his former subsidy, the announcement of + which discouraging fact was accompanied by a lecture on the + desirableness of a change in his choice of subject as well as + in his style; if he continued to write as he had been doing + of late, no one would be left, his father said, to read what + he wrote! + </p> + <p> + And now it began to be evident what a happy thing it was for + Hector that Annie was now at his side to help him. For, as + his courage sank, and he saw Annie began to feel straitened + in her housekeeping, he saw also how her courage arose and + shone. But he grew more and more discouraged, until it was + all that Annie could do to hold him back from despair. At + length, however, she began to feel that possibly there might + be some truth in what his father had written to him, and a + new departure ought to be attempted. She could not herself + believe that her husband was limited to any style or subject + for the embodiment of his thoughts; he who had written so + well in one fashion might write at least well, if not as + well, in another! Had she not heard him say that verse was + the best practice for writing prose? + </p> + <p> + Gently, therefore, and cautiously she approached the matter + with him, only to find at first, as she had expected, that he + but recoiled from the suggestion with increase of + discouragement. Still, taking no delight in obstinacy, and + feeling the necessity of some fresh attempt grow daily more + pressing, he turned his brains about, and sending them + foraging, at length bethought him of a certain old Highland + legend with which at one time he had been a good deal taken, + from the discovery in it of certain symbolical possibilities. + This legend he proceeded to rewrite and remodel, doing his + best endeavor to preserve in it the old Celtic aroma and + aerial suggestion, while taking care neither to lose nor + reproduce too manifestly its half-apparent, still evanishing + symbolism. Urged by fear and enfeebled by doubt, he wrote + feverously, and, after three days of laborious and unnatural + toil, submitted the result to Annie, who was now his only + representative of the outer world, and the only person for + whose criticism he seemed now to care. She, greatly in doubt + of her own judgment, submitted it to his friend; and together + they agreed on this verdict: That, while it certainly proved + he could write as well in prose as in verse, people would not + be attracted by it, and that it would be found lacking in + human interest. His friend saw in it also too much of the + Celtic tendency to the mystical and allegorical, as + distinguished from the factual and storial. + </p> + <p> + Upon learning this their decision, poor Hector fell once more + into a state of great discouragement, not feeling in him the + least power of adopting another way; there seemed to him but + one mode, the way things came to him. And in this surely he + was right—only might not things come, or be sent to him + in some other way? His friend suggested that he might, + changing the outward occurrences, and the description of the + persons to whom they happened, in such fashion that there + could be no identification of them, tell the very tale of how + Annie and he came to know and love each other, taking + especial care to muffle up to shapelessness, or at least + featurelessness, the part his mother had taken in their + story. This seeming to Hector a thing possible, he took + courage, and set about it at once, gathering interest as he + proceeded, and writing faster and faster as he grew in hope + of success. At the same time it was not favorable to the + result that he felt constantly behind him, the darkly + lowering necessity that, urging him on, yet debilitated every + motion of the generating spirit. + </p> + <p> + It took him a long time to get the story into a condition + that he dared to consider even passable; and the longer that + he had not the delight that verse would have brought with it + in the process of its production. Nevertheless he would now + and then come to a passage in writing which the old emotion + would seem to revive; but in reading these, Annie, modest and + doubtful as she always was of her own judgment, especially + where her husband's work was concerned, seemed to recognize a + certain element of excitement that gave it a glow, or rather, + glamour of unreality, or rather, unnaturalness, which + affected her as inharmonious, therefore unfit, or out of + place. She thought it better, however, to say little or + nothing of any such paragraph, and tried to regard it as of + small significance, and probably carrying little influence in + respect of the final judgment. + </p> + <p> + The narrative, such as it might prove, was at length + finished, and had been read, at least with pleasure and hope, + by his friend, who was still the only critic on whose + judgment he dared depend, for he could not help regarding + Annie as prejudiced in his favor, although her approval + continued for him absolutely essential. The sole portions to + which his friend took any exception were the same concerning + which Annie had already doubted, and which he found too + poetical in their tone—not, he took care to say, in + their meaning, for that could not be too poetical, but in + their expression, which must impinge too sharply upon prosaic + ears that cared only for the narrative, and would recoil from + any reflection, however just in itself, that might be woven + into it. + </p> + <p> + But, alas, now came what Hector felt the last and final blow + to the possibility of farther endeavor in the way of + literature! + </p> + <p> + The bank to which Hector had been introduced by his father, + and in which he had been employed ever since, had of late + found it necessary to look more closely to its outlay and + reduce its expenses; therefore, believing that Hector had + abundance of other resources, its managers decided on giving + him notice first of all that they must in future deprive + themselves of the pleasure of his services. And this + announcement came at a time when Annie was already in no + small difficulty to make the ends of her expenditure meet + those of her income. In fact, she had no longer any income. + For a considerable time she had, by the stinting of what had + before that seemed necessities, been making a shilling do the + work of eighteenpence, and now she knew nothing beyond, + except to go without. But how allow Hector to go without? He + must die if she did! Already he had begun to shrink in his + clothes from lack of proper nourishment. + </p> + <p> + A rumor reaching him of a certain post as librarian, in the + gift of an old corporation, being vacant, Hector at once made + application for it, but only to receive the answer that + Pegasus must not be put in harness: poor Pegasus, on a false + pretense of respect, must be kept out of the shafts! His fat + friends would not permit him to degrade himself earning his + bread by work he could have done very well; he must rather + starve! He tried for many posts, one after the other. Heavier + and heavier fell upon him each following disappointment. + Annie had in her heart been greatly disappointed that no + prospect appeared of a child to sanctify their union; but for + that she had learned more than to console herself with the + reflection that at least there was no such heavenly visitor + for whose earthly sojourn to provide; and now how gladly + would she have labored for the child in the hope that such a + joy and companionship might lift him up out of his + despondency! Then he would be able to enjoy and assimilate + the poor food she was able to get for him. It is true he + always seemed quite content; but, then, he would often, she + believed, pretend not to be hungry, and certainly ate less + and less. Hitherto she had fought with all her might against + running in debt to the tradespeople, for, more than all else, + she feared debt. Now, at last, however, her resolution was in + danger of giving way, when, happily, Hector bethought himself + of his precious books; to what better use could he put them + than sell them to buy food—wherein the books he had + written had failed him? Parcel by parcel in a leather strap, + he carried them to the nearest secondhand bookseller, where + he had so often bought; now he wanted to sell, but, + unhappily, he soon found that books, like many other things, + are worth much less to the seller than to the buyer, and + where Hector had calculated on pounds, only shillings were + forthcoming. Yet by their sale, notwithstanding, they managed + to keep a little longer out of debt. + </p> + <p> + And in these days Annie had at length finished her fair copy + of Hector's last book, writing it out in her own lovelily + legible hand—not such as ladies in general count + legible, because they can easily read it themselves; she + could do better than that, she could write so that others + could not fail to read. For Hector had always believed that + the acceptance of his first volume had been owing not a + little to the fact that he had written it out most legibly, + and he held that what reveals itself at once and without + possibility of mistake may justly hope for a better reception + than what from the first moment annoys the reader with a + sense of ill-treatment. It is no wonder, he said, if such a + manuscript be at once tossed aside with an imprecation. + Legibility is the first and intelligibility the only other + thing rendered due by the submission of a manuscript to any + publisher. + </p> + <p> + Hector spent a day or two in remodeling and modifying the + passages remarked upon by his wife and his friend, and then, + with hope reviving in both their hearts, the manuscript was + sent in, acknowledged, and the day appointed when an answer + would be ready. + </p> + <p> + Upon a certain dark morning, therefore, in November, having + nothing else whatever to do, Hector set out in his much-worn + Inverness cape to call upon his former publisher in the City, + with whom of late he had had no communication. The weather + was cold and damp, threatening rain. But Hector was too much + of a Scotchman to care about weather, and too full of anxiety + to mind either cold or wet. He had, indeed, almost always + felt gloomy weather exciting rather than depressing. For one + thing, it seemed, when he was indoors, to close him about + with protection from uncongenial interruption, leaving the + freer his inventive faculty; and now that he was abroad in + it, and no inventive faculty left awake, it seemed to clothe + him with congenial sympathy, for the weather was just the + same inside him. And now, as he strode along with his eyes on + the ground, he scarcely saw any of the objects about him, but + sought only the heart of the City, where he hoped to find the + publisher in his office, ready to print his manuscript, and + advance him a small sum in anticipation of possible profit. + So absorbed was he in thought undefined, and so sunk in + anxiety as to the answer he was about to receive, that more + than once he was nearly run over by the cart of some reckless + tradesman—seeming to him, in its over-taking + suddenness, the type of prophetic fate already at his heels. + </p> + <p> + At length, however, he arrived safe in the outer shop, where + the books of the firm were exposed to sight, in process of + being subscribed for by the trade. There a pert young man + asked him to take a seat, while he carried his name to the + publisher, and there for some time he waited, reading titles + he found himself unable to lay hold of; and there, while he + waited, the threatened rain began, and, ere he was admitted + to the inner premises, such a black deluge came pouring down + as, for blackness at least, comes down nowhere save in + London. With this accompaniment, he was ushered at length + into a dingy office, deep in the recesses of the house, where + a young man whom he saw for the first time had evidently, + while Hector waited in the shop, been glancing at the + manuscript he had left. Little as he could have read, + however, it had been enough, aided perhaps by the weather, to + bring him to an unfavorable decision; his rejection was + precise and definite, leaving no room for Hector to say + anything, for he did not seem ever to have heard of him + before. Hector rose at once, gathered up his papers from the + table where they lay scattered, said "Good-morning," and went + out into the sooty rain. + </p> + <p> + Not knowing whitherward to point his foot, he stopped at the + corner of King William Street, close to the money-shops of + the old Lombards, and there stood still, in vain endeavor to + realize the blow that had stunned him. There he stood and + stood, with bowed head, like an outcast beggar, watching the + rain that dropped black from the rim of his saturated hat. + Becoming suddenly conscious, however, that the few wayfarers + glanced somewhat curiously at him as they passed, he started + to walk on, not knowing whither, but trying to look as if he + had a purpose somewhere inside him, whereas he had still a + question to settle—whether to buy a bun, and, on the + strength of that, walk home, or spend his few remaining pence + on an omnibus, as far as it would take him for the money, and + walk the rest of the way. + </p> + <p> + Then, suddenly, as if out of the depths of despair, arose in + him an assurance of help on the way to him, and with it a + strength to look in the face the worst that could befall him; + he might at least starve in patience. Therewith he drew + himself up, crossed the street to the corner of the Mansion + House, and got into an omnibus waiting there. + </p> + <p> + If only he could creep into his grave and have done! Why + should that hostelry of refuge stand always shut? Surely he + was but walking in his own funeral! Were not the mourners + already going about the street before ever the silver cord + was loosed or the golden bowl broken? Might he not now at + length feel at liberty to end the life he had ceased to + value? But there was Annie! He would go home to her; she + would comfort him—yes, she would die with him! There + was no other escape; there was no sign of coming deliverance. + All was black within and around them. That was the rain on + the gravestones. He was in a hearse, on his way to the + churchyard. There the mourners were already gathered. They + were before him, waiting his arrival. No! He would go home to + Annie! He would not be a coward soldier! He would not kill + himself to escape the enemy! He would stand up to the Evil + One, and take his blows without flinching. He and his Annie + would take them together, and fight to the last. Then, if + they must die, it was well, and would be better. + </p> + <p> + But alas! what if the obligation of a live soul went farther + than this life? What if a man was bound, by the fact that he + lived, to live on, and do everything possible to keep the + life alive in him? There his heart sank, and the depths of + the sea covered it! Did God require of him that, sooner than + die, he should beg the food to keep him alive? Would he be + guilty of forsaking his post, if he but refused to ask, and + waited for Death? Was he bound to beg? If he was, he must + begin at once by refusing to accept the smallest credit! To + all they must tell the truth of their circumstances, and + refuse aught but charity. But was there not something yet he + could try before begging? He had had a good education, had + both knowledge and the power of imparting it; this was still + worth money in the world's market. And doubtless therein his + friend could do something for him. + </p> + <p> + Therewithal his new dread was gone; one possibility was yet + left him in store! To his wife he must go, and talk the thing + over with her. He had still, he believed, threepence in his + pocket to pay for the omnibus. + </p> + <p> + It began to move; and then first, waking up, he saw that he + had seated himself between a poor woman and a little girl, + evidently her daughter. + </p> + <p> + "I am very sorry to incommode you, ma'am," he said + apologetically to the white-faced woman, whose little tartan + shawl scarcely covered her shoulders, painfully conscious of + his dripping condition, as he took off his hat, and laid it + on the floor between his equally soaking feet. But, instead + of moving away from him to a drier position beyond, the + woman, with a feeble smile, moved closer up to him, saying to + her daughter on his other side: + </p> + <p> + "Sit closer to the gentleman, Jessie, and help to keep him + warm. She's quite clean, sir," she added. "We have plenty of + water in our place, and I gave her a bath myself this + morning, because we were going to the hospital to see my + husband. He had a bad accident yesterday, but thank God! not + so bad as it might have been. I'm afraid you're feeling very + cold, sir," she added, for Hector had just given an + involuntary shiver. + </p> + <p> + "My husband he's a bricklayer," she went on; "he has been in + good work, and I have a few shillings in hand, thank God! + Times are sure to mend, for they seldom turns out so bad as + they looks." + </p> + <p> + Involuntarily Hector's hand moved to his trouser pocket, but + dropped by his side as he remembered the fare. She saw his + movement, and broke into a sad little laugh. + </p> + <p> + "Don't mistake me, sir," she resumed. "I told you true when I + said I wasn't without money; and, before the pinch comes, + wages, I dare say, will show their color again. Besides, our + week's rent is paid. And he's in good quarters, poor fellow, + though with a bad pain to keep him company, I'm afraid" + </p> + <p> + "Where do you live?" asked Hector "But," he went on, "why + should I ask? I am as poor as you—poorer, perhaps, for + I have no trade to fall back upon. But I have a good wife + like you, and I don't doubt she'll think of something." + </p> + <p> + "Trust to that, sir! A good woman like I'm sure she is 'll be + sure to think of many a thing before she'll give in. My + husband, he was brought up to religion, and he always says + there's one as know's and don't forget." But now the omnibus + had reached the spot where Hector must leave it. He got up, + fumbling for his threepenny-piece, but failed to find it. + </p> + <p> + "Don't forget your hat, sir; it'll come all right when it's + dry," said the woman, as she handed it to him. But he stood, + the conductor waiting, and seemed unable to take it from her: + he could not find the little coin! + </p> + <p> + "There, there, sir!" interposed the woman, as she made haste + and handed him three coppers; "I have plenty for both of us, + and wish for your sake it was a hundred times as much. Take + it, sir," she insisted, while Hector yet hesitated and + fumbled; "you won't refuse such a small service from another + of God's creatures! I mean it well." + </p> + <p> + But the conductor, apparently affected with the same + generosity, pushed back the woman's hand, saying, "No, no, + ma'am, thank you! The gentleman 'll pay me another day." + </p> + <p> + Hector pulled out an old silver watch, and offered it. + </p> + <p> + "I cannot be so sure about that," he said. "Better take this: + it's of little use to me now." + </p> + <p> + "I'll be damned if I do!" cried the conductor fiercely, and + down he jumped and stood ready to help Hector from the + omnibus. + </p> + <p> + But his kindness was more than Hector could stand; he walked + away, unable to thank him. + </p> + <p> + "I wonder now," muttered the conductor to himself when Hector + was gone, "if that was a put-up job between him and the + woman? I don't think so. Anyhow, it's no great loss to + anybody. I won't put it down; the company 'll have to cover + that." + </p> + <p> + Hector turned down a street that led westward, drying his + eyes, and winking hard to make them swallow the tears which + sought to hide from him a spectacle that was calling aloud to + be seen. For lo! the street-end was filled with the glory of + a magnificent rainbow. All across its opening stretched and + stood the wide arch of a wonderful rainbow. Hector could not + see the sun; he saw only what it was making; and the old + story came back to him, how the men of ancient time took the + heavenly bow for a promise that there should no more be such + a flood as again to destroy the world. And therefore even now + the poets called the rainbow the bow of hope. + </p> + <p> + Nor, even in these days of question and unbelief, is it + matter of wonder that, at sight of the harmony of blended and + mingling, yet always individual, and never confused colors, + and notwithstanding his knowledge of optics, and of how the + supreme unity of the light was secerned into its decreed + chord, the imaginative faith of the troubled poet should so + work in him as to lift his head for a moment above the waters + of that other flood that threatened to overwhelm his + microcosm, and the bow should seem to him a new promise, + given to him then and individually, of the faithfulness of an + unseen Power of whom he had been assured, by one whom he + dared not doubt, that He numbered the very hairs of his head. + Once more his spirit rose upon the wave of a hope which he + could neither logically justify nor dare to refuse; for hope + is hope whencesoever it spring, and needs no justification of + its self-existence or of its sudden marvelous birth. The very + hope was in itself enough for itself. And now he was near his + home; his Annie was waiting for him; and in another instant + his misery would be shared and comforted by her! He was + walking toward the wonder-sign in the heavens. But even as he + walked with it full in view, he saw it gradually fade and + dissolve into the sky, until not a thread of its loveliness + remained to show where it had spanned the infinite with its + promise of good. And yet, was not the sky itself a better + thing, and the promise of a yet greater good? He must walk + onward yet, in tireless hope! And the resolve itself + endured—or fading, revived, and came again, and ever + yet again. + </p> + <p> + For ere he had passed the few yards that lay between him and + Annie yet another wonder befell: as if the rainbow had + condensed, and taken shape as it melted away, there on the + pathway, in the thickening twilight of the swift-descending + November night, stood a creature, surely not of the night, + but rather of the early morn, a lovely little + child—whether wandered from the open door of some + neighboring house, or left by the vanished rainbow, how was + he to tell? Endeavoring afterward to recall every point of + her appearance, he could remember nothing of her feet, or + even of the frock she wore. Only her face remained to him, + with its cerulean eyes—the eyes of Annie, looking up + from under the cloud of her dark hair, which also was + Annie's. She looked then as she stood, in his memory of her, + as if she were saying, "I trust in you; will you not trust in + Him who made the rainbow?" For a moment he seemed to stand + regarding her, but even while he looked he must have + forgotten that she was there before him, for when again he + knew that he saw her, though he did not seem ever to have + looked away from her, she had changed in the gathering + darkness to the phantasm of a daisy, which still gazed up in + his face trustingly, and, indeed, went with him to his own + door, seeming all the time to say, "It was no child; it was + me you saw, and nothing but me; only I saw the sun—I + mean, the man that was making the rainbow." And never more + could he in his mind separate the child, whom I cannot but + think he had verily seen, from the daisy which certainly he + had not seen, except in the atmosphere of his troubled and + confused soul. + </p> + <p> + It may help my reader to understand its confusion if I recall + to him the fact that Hector had that day eaten nothing. Nor + must my wife reader think hardly of Annie for having let him + leave the house without any food, for he had stolen softly + away, and closed the door as softly behind him, thinking how + merrily they would eat together when he came back with his + good news. And now he was bringing nothing to her but the + story of a poor woman and her child who had warmed him, and + of an omnibus-conductor who had trusted him for his fare, and + of a rainbow and a child and a daisy. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, you naughty, naughty dear!" cried Annie, as she threw + herself into his arms, rejoicing. But at sight of his worn + and pallid face the smile faded from hers, and she thought, + "What can have befallen him?" + </p> + <p> + His lip quivered, and, seeking with a watery smile to + reassure her, he gave way and burst into tears. Unmanly of + him, no doubt, but what is a man to do when he cannot help + it? And where is a man to weep if not on his wife's bosom? + Call this behavior un-English, if you will; for, indeed, + Hector was in many ways other than English, and, I protest, + English ways are not all human. But I will not allow that it + manifested any weakness, or necessarily involved shame to + him; the best of men, and the strongest—yea, the one + Man whose soul harbored not an atom of self-pity—upon + one occasion wept, I think because he could not persuade the + women whom he loved and would fain console to take comfort in + his Father. Annie, for one reverent moment, turned her head + aside, then threw her arms about him, and hid her glowing + face in his bosom. + </p> + <p> + "There's only me in the house, dear," she said, and led the + way to their room. + </p> + <p> + When they reached it, she closed the door, and turned to him. + </p> + <p> + "So they won't take your story?" she said, assuming the fact, + with a sad, sunny smile. + </p> + <p> + "They refused it absolutely." + </p> + <p> + "Well, never mind! I shall go out charing to-morrow. You have + no notion how strong I am. It is well for you I have never + wanted to beat you. Seriously, I believe I am much stronger + than you have the least notion of. There! Feel that + arm—I should let you feel it another way, only I am + afraid of hurting you." + </p> + <p> + She had turned up the sleeve of her dress, and uncovered a + grandly developed arm, white as milk, and blossoming in a + large, splendidly formed hand. Then playfully, but oh! so + tenderly, with the under and softest part of her arm she + fondled his face, rubbing it over first one, then the other + cheek, and ended with both arms round his neck, her hands + folding his head to her bosom. + </p> + <p> + "Wife! wife!" faltered Hector, with difficulty controlling + himself; "my strong, beautiful wife! To think of your + marrying me for this!" + </p> + <p> + "Hector," answered Annie, drawing herself back with dignity, + "do you dare to pity me? That would be to insult me! As if I + was not fit to be your wife when doing <i>everything</i> for + my mother! There are thousands of Scotch girls that would + only be proud to take my place, poor as you are—and you + couldn't be much poorer—and serve you, without being + your wife, as I have the honor and pride to be! But, my + blessed man, I do believe you have eaten nothing to-day; and + here am I fancying myself your wife, and letting you stand + there empty, instead of bestirring myself to get you some + supper! What a shame! Why, you are actually dying with + hunger!" she cried, searching his face with pitiful eyes. + </p> + <p> + "On the contrary, I am not in the least hungry," protested + Hector. + </p> + <p> + "Then you must be hungry at once, sir. I will go and bring + you something the very sight of which will make you hungry." + </p> + <p> + "But you have no money, Annie; and, not being able to pay, we + must go without. Come, we will go to bed." "Yes, I am ready; + I had a good breakfast. But you have had nothing all day. And + for money, do you know Miss Hamper, the dressmaker, actually + offered to lend me a shilling, and I took it. Here it is. You + see, I was so sure you would bring money home that I thought + we <i>might</i> run that much farther into debt. So I got you + two fresh eggs and such a lovely little white loaf. Besides, + I have just thought of something else we could get a little + money for—that dainty chemise my mother made for me + with her own hands when we were going to be married. I will + take it to the pawnbroker to-morrow." + </p> + <p> + "I was never in a pawnshop, Annie. I don't think I should + know how to set about it." + </p> + <p> + "<i>You!</i>" cried Annie, with a touch of scorn. "Do you + think I would trust a man with it? No; that's a woman's work. + Why, you would let the fellow offer you half it was + worth—and you would take it too. I shall show it to + Mrs. Whitmore: <i>she</i> will know what I ought to get for + it. She's had to do the thing herself—too often, poor + thing!" + </p> + <p> + "It would be like tearing my heart out." + </p> + <p> + "What! to part with my pretty chemise. Hector, dear, you must + not be foolish! What does it matter, so long as we are not + cheating anybody? The pawnshop is a most honorable and useful + institution. No one is the worse for it, and many a one the + better. Even the tradespeople will be a trifle the better. I + shall be quite proud to know that I have a pawn-ticket in my + pocket to fall back upon. Oh, there's that old silk dress + your mother sent me—I do believe that would bring more. + It is in good condition, and looks quite respectable. If Eve + had got into a scrape like ours, she would have been + helpless, poor thing, not having anything <i>to put + away</i>—that is the right word, I believe. There is + really nothing disgraceful about it. Come now, dear, and eat + your eggs—I'm afraid you must do without butter. I + always preferred a piece of dry bread with an egg—you + get the true taste of the egg so much better. One day or + another we must part with everything. It is sure to come. + Sooner or later, what does that matter? 'The readiness is + all,' as Hamlet says. Death, or the pawnshop, signifies + nothing. 'Since no man has aught of what he leaves, what is + it to leave betimes?' We do but forestall the grave for one + brief hour with the pawnshop." + </p> + <p> + "You deserve to have married Epictetus, Annie, you brave + woman, instead of Xantippe!" + </p> + <p> + "I prefer you, Hector." + </p> + <p> + "But what might you have said if he had asked you, and you + had heard me bemoaning the pawnshop?" + </p> + <p> + "Ah, then, indeed! But, in the meantime, we will go to bed + and wait there for to-morrow. Is it not a lovely thing to + know that God is thinking about you? He will bring us to + <i>our desired haven,</i> Hector, dearest!" + </p> + <p> + So in their sadness they laid them down. Annie opened her + arms and took Hector to her bosom. There he sighed himself to + sleep; and God put His arms about them both, and kept them + asleep until the morning. + </p> + <pre> + And in this love, more than in bed, I rest. +</pre> + <p> + Annie was the first to spring up and begin to dress herself, + pondering in her mind as she did so whether to go first to + the pawnbroker's or to the baker, to ask him to recommend her + as a charwoman. She would tell him just the truth—that + she must in future work for her daily bread. Then Hector rose + and dressed himself. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Annie!" he said, as he did so, "is it gone, that awful + misery of last night in the omnibus? It seemed, as I jolted + along, as if God had forgotten one of the creatures he had + made, and that one was me; or, worse, that he thought of me, + and would not move to help me! And why do I feel now as if He + had help for me somewhere near waiting for me? I think I will + go and see a man who lives somewhere close by, and find out + if he is the same I used to know at St. Andrews; if he be the + same, he may know of something I could try for." + </p> + <p> + "Do," replied Annie. "I will go with you, and on the way call + at the grocer's—I think he will be the best to ask if + he knows of any family that wants a charwoman or could give + me any sort of work. There's more than one kind of thing I + could turn my hand to—needle-work, for instance. I + could make a child's frock as well, I believe, as a + second-rate dressmaker. Can you tell me who was the first + tailor, Hector? It was God himself. He made coats of skins + for Adam and his wife." + </p> + <p> + "Quite right, dear. You may well try your hand—as I + know you have done many a time already. And, if I can get + hold of ever so young a pupil, I shall be glad even to teach + him his letters. We must try anything and everything. We are + long past being fastidious, I hope." + </p> + <p> + He turned and went on with his toilet. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Hector," said Annie suddenly, and walked to the + mantelpiece, "I am so sorry! Here is a letter that came for + you yesterday. I did not care to open it, though you have + often told me to open any letters I pleased. The fact is, I + forgot all about it; I believe, because I was so unhappy at + your going away without breakfast. Or perhaps it was that I + was frightened at its black border. I really can't tell now + why I did not open it." + </p> + <p> + With little interest and less hope, Hector took the + letter,—black-bordered and black-sealed,—opened + it, and glanced carelessly at the signature, while Annie + stood looking at him, in the hope merely that he would find + in it no fresh trouble—some forgotten bill perhaps! + </p> + <p> + She saw his face change, and his eyes grow fixed. A moment + more and the letter dropped in the fender. He stood an + instant, then fell on his knees, and threw up his hands. + </p> + <p> + "What is it, darling?" she cried, beginning to tremble. + </p> + <p> + "Only five hundred pounds!" he answered, and burst into an + hysterical laugh. + </p> + <p> + "Impossible!" cried Annie. + </p> + <p> + "Who <i>can</i> have played us such a cruel trick?" said + Hector feebly. + </p> + <p> + "It's no trick, Hector!" exclaimed Annie. "There's nobody + would have the heart to do it. Let <i>me</i> see the letter." + </p> + <p> + She almost caught it from his hands as he picked it from the + fender, and looked at the signature. + </p> + <p> + "Hale & Hale?" she read. "I never heard of them!" + </p> + <p> + "No, nor anyone else, I dare say," answered Hector. + </p> + <p> + "Let us see the address at the top," said Annie. + </p> + <p> + "There it is—Philpot Lane." + </p> + <p> + "Where is that? I don't believe there is such a place!" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, yes, there is; I've seen it—somewhere in the City, + I believe. But let us read the letter. I saw only the + figures. I confess I was foolish enough at first to fancy + somebody had sent us five hundred pounds!" + </p> + <p> + "And why not?" cried Annie. "I am sure there's no one more in + want of it." + </p> + <p> + "That's just why not," answered Hector. "Did you ever know a + rich man leave his money to a poor relation? Oh, I hope it + does not mean that my father is gone. He may have left us a + trifle. Only he could not have had so much to leave to + anybody. I know he loved you, Annie." + </p> + <p> + In the meantime Annie had been doing the one sensible + thing—reading the letter, and now she stood pondering + it. + </p> + <p> + "I have it, Hector. He always uses good people to do his + kindnesses. Don't you remember me telling you about the + little old lady in Graham's shop the time your book came + out?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, Annie; I wasn't likely to forget that; it was my love + for you that made me able to write the poem. Ah, but how soon + was the twenty pounds I got for it spent, though I thought it + riches then!" + </p> + <p> + "So it was—and so it is!" cried Annie, half laughing, + but crying outright. "It's just that same little old lady. + She was so delighted with the book, and with you for writing + it, that she put you down at once in her will for five + hundred pounds, believing it would help people to trust in + God." + </p> + <p> + "And here was I distrusting so much that I was nearly ready + to kill myself. Only I thought it would be such a terrible + shock to you, my precious! It would have been to tell God to + his face that I knew he would not help me. I am sure now that + he is never forgetting, though he seems to have forgotten. + There was that letter lying in the dark through all the hours + of the long night, while we slept in the weariness of sorrow + and fear, not knowing what the light was bringing us. God is + good!" + </p> + <p> + "Let us go and see these people and make sure," said Annie. + "'Hale and Hearty,' do they call themselves? But I'm going + with you myself this time! I'm not going to have such another + day as I had yesterday—waiting for you till the sun was + down, and all was dark, you bad man!—and fancying all + manner of terrible things! I wonder—I wonder, + if—" + </p> + <p> + "Well, what do you wonder, Annie?" + </p> + <p> + "Only whether, if now we were to find out it was indeed all a + mistake, I should yet be able to hope on through all the + rest. I doubt it; I doubt it! Oh, Hector, you have taught me + everything!" + </p> + <p> + "More, it seems, than I have myself learned. Your mother had + already taught you far more than ever I had to give you!" + </p> + <p> + "But it is much too early yet, I fear, to call in the City," + said Annie. "Don't you think we should have time first to + find out whether the gentleman we were thinking of inquiring + after to-day be your old college friend or not? And I will + call at the grocer's, and tell him we hope to settle his bill + in a few days. Then you can come to me, and I will go to you, + and we shall meet somewhere between." + </p> + <p> + They did as Annie propose; and before they met, Hector had + found his friend, and been heartily received both by him and + by his young wife. + </p> + <p> + When at length they reached Philpot Lane, and were seated in + an outer room waiting for admission, Annie said: "Surely, if + rich people knew how some they do not know need their help, + they would be a little more eager to feather their wings ere + they fly aloft by making friends with the Mammon of + unrighteousness. Don't you think it may be sometimes that + they are afraid of doing harm with their money?" + </p> + <p> + "I'm afraid it is more that they never think what our Lord + meant when he said the words. But oh, Annie! is it a bad sign + of me that the very possibility of this money could make me + so happy?" + </p> + <p> + They were admitted at length, and kindly received by a + gray-haired old man, who warned them not to fancy so much + money would last them very long. + </p> + <p> + "Indeed, sir," answered Annie, "the best thing we expect from + it is that it will put my husband in good heart to begin + another book." + </p> + <p> + "Oh! your husband writes books, does he? Then I begin to + understand my late client's will. It is just like her," said + the old gentleman. "Had you known her long?" + </p> + <p> + "I never once saw her," said Hector. + </p> + <p> + "But I did," said Annie, "and I heard her say how delighted + she was with his first book. Please, sir," she added, "will + it be long before you can let us have the money?" + </p> + <p> + "You shall have it by-and-by," answered the lawyer; "all in + good time." + </p> + <p> + And now first they learned that not a penny of the money + would they receive before the end of a twelvemonth. + </p> + <p> + "Well, that will give us plenty of time to die first," + thought Hector, "which I am sure the kind lady did not intend + when she left us the money." + </p> + <p> + Another thing they learned was that, even then, they would + not receive the whole of the money left them, for seeing they + could claim no relation to the legator, ten per cent must be + deducted from their legacy. If they came to him in a year + from the date of her death, he told them he would have much + pleasure in handing them the sum of four hundred and fifty + pounds. + </p> + <p> + So they left the office—not very exultant, for they + were both rather hungry, and had to go at once in search of + work—with but a poor chance of borrowing upon it. + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, Hector broke the silence by saying: + </p> + <p> + "I declare, Annie, I feel so light and free already that I + could invent anything, even a fairy tale, and I feel as if it + would be a lovely one. I hope you have a penny left to buy a + new bottle of ink. The ink at home is so thick it takes three + strokes to one mark." + </p> + <p> + "Yes, dear, I have a penny; I have two, indeed—just + twopence left. We shall buy a bottle of ink with one, + and—shall it be a bun with the other? I think one penny + bun will divide better than two halfpenny ones." + </p> + <p> + "Very well. Only, mind, <i>I'm</i> to divide it. But, do you + know, I've been thinking," said Hector, "whether we might not + take a holiday on the strength of our expectations, for we + shall have so long to wait for the money that I think we may + truly say we have <i>great</i> expectations." + </p> + <p> + "I think we should do better," answered Annie, "to go back to + your old friend, Mr. Gillespie, and tell him of our + good-fortune, and see whether he can suggest anything for us + to do in the meantime." + </p> + <p> + Hector agreed, and together they sought the terrace where Mr. + and Mrs. Gillespie lived, who were much interested in their + story; and then first they learned that the lady was at least + well enough off to be able to help them, and, when they left, + she would have Annie take with her a dozen of her + handkerchiefs, to embroider with her initials and crest; but + Annie begged to be allowed to take only one, that Mrs. + Gillespie might first see how she liked her work. + </p> + <p> + "For, then, you see," she said to her husband, as they went + home, "I shall be able to take it back to her this very + evening and ask her for the half-crown she offered me for + doing it, which I should not have had the face to do with + eleven more of them still in my possession. I have no doubt + of her being satisfied with my work; and in a week I shall + have finished the half of them, and we shall be getting on + swimmingly." + </p> + <p> + Throughout the winter Hector wrote steadily every night, and + every night Annie sat by his side and + embroidered—though her embroidery was not <i>all</i> + for other people. Many a time in after years did their + thoughts go back to that period as the type of the happy life + they were having together. + </p> + <p> + The next time Hector went to see Mr. Gillespie, that + gentleman suggested that he should give a course of lectures + to ladies upon English Poetry, beginning with the Anglo-Saxon + poets, of whom Gillespie said he knew nothing, but would be + glad to learn a great deal. He knew also, he said, some + ladies in the neighborhood willing to pay a guinea each for a + course of, say, half-a-dozen such lectures. They would not + cost Hector much time to prepare, and would at once bring in + a little money. Coleridge himself, he suggested, had done + that kind of thing. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," said Hector, "but he was Coleridge. I have nothing to + say worth saying." + </p> + <p> + "Leave your hearers to judge of that," returned Gillespie. + "Do your best, and take your chance. I promise you two pupils + at least not over-critical—my wife and myself. It is + amazing how little those even who imagine they love it know + about English poetry." + </p> + <p> + "But where should I find a room?" Hector still objected. + </p> + <p> + "Would not this drawing room do?" asked his friend. + </p> + <p> + "Splendidly!" answered Hector. "But what will Mrs. Gillespie + say to it?" + </p> + <p> + "She and I are generally of one mind—about people, at + least." + </p> + <p> + "Then I will go home at once and set about finding what to + say." + </p> + <p> + "And I will go out at once and begin hunting you up an + audience." + </p> + <p> + Gillespie succeeded even better than he had anticipated; and + there was at the first lecture a very fair gathering indeed. + When it was over, the one that knew most of the subject was + the young lecturer's wife. The first course was followed by + two more, the third at the request of almost all his hearers. + And the result; was that, before the legacy fell due, Annie + had paid all their debts and had not contracted a single new + one. + </p> + <p> + But when the happy day dawned Annie was not able to go with + her husband to receive the money; neither did Hector wish + that she had been able, for he was glad to go alone. By her + side lay a lovely woman-child peacefully asleep. Hector + declared her the very image of the child the rainbow left + behind as it vanished. + </p> + <p> + One day, when the mother was a little stronger, she called + Hector to her bedside, and playfully claimed the right to be + the child's godmother, and to give it her name. + </p> + <p> + "And who else can have so good a right?" answered Hector. Yet + he wondered just a little that Annie should want the child + named after herself, and not after her mother. + </p> + <p> + But when the time for the child's baptism came, Annie, who + would hold the little one herself, whispered in the ear of + the clergyman: + </p> + <p> + "The child's name is Iris." + </p> + <p> + I have told my little story. But perhaps my readers will have + patience with me while I add just one little inch to the tail + of the mouse my mountain has borne. + </p> + <p> + Hector's next book, although never so popular as in any + outward sense to be called a success, yet was not quite a + failure even in regard to the money it brought him, and even + at the present day has not ceased to bring in something. + Doubtless it has faults not a few, but, happily, the man who + knows them best is he who wrote it, and he has never had to + repent that he did write it. And now he has an audience on + which he can depend to welcome whatever he writes. That he + has enemies as well goes without saying, but they are rather + scorners than revilers, and they have not yet caused him to + retaliate once by criticising any work of theirs. Neither, I + believe, has he ever failed to recognize what of genuine and + good work most of them have produced. One of the best results + to himself of his constant endeavor to avoid jealousy is that + he is still able to write verse, and continues to take more + pleasure in it than in telling his tales. And still his own + test of the success of any of his books is the degree to + which he enjoyed it himself while writing it. + </p> + <p> + His legacy has long been spent, and he has often been in + straits since; but he has always gathered good from those + straits, and has never again felt as if slow walls were + closing in upon him to crush him. And he has hopes by God's + help, and with Annie's, of getting through at last, without + ever having dishonored his high calling. + </p> + <p> + The last time I saw him, he introduced his wife to + me—having just been telling me his and her + story—with the rather enigmatical words: + </p> + <p> + "This is my wife. You cannot see her very well, for, like + Hamlet, I wear her 'in my heart's core, aye, in my heart of + hearts!'" + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Far Above Rubies, by George MacDonald + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FAR ABOVE RUBIES *** + +This file should be named 7fbrb10h.htm or 7fbrb10h.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 7fbrb11h.htm +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 7fbrb10ah.htm + +David Garcia, Jonathan Ingram, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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