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diff --git a/8913-h/8913-h.htm b/8913-h/8913-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3667dfd --- /dev/null +++ b/8913-h/8913-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10142 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <title> + The Portent and Other Stories, by George Macdonald + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's The Portent and Other Stories, by George MacDonald + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Portent and Other Stories + +Author: George MacDonald + + +Release Date: September, 2005 [EBook #8913] +This file was first posted on August 24, 2003 +Last Updated: October 10, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PORTENT AND OTHER STORIES *** + + + + +Text file produced by Jonathan Ingram, Sandra Brown and the DP Team + +HTML file produced by David Widger + + + +</pre> + + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + THE PORTENT AND OTHER STORIES + </h1> + <h2> + By George MacDonald + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h4> + THE PORTENT <br /> <br /> A STORY OF THE INNER VISION OF THE HIGHLANDERS, + <br /> COMMONLY CALLED <i>THE SECOND SIGHT</i> + </h4> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + <b>DEDICATION</b>. + </p> + <p> + MY DEAR SIR, KENSINGTON, <i>May, 1864.</i> + </p> + <p> + Allow me, with the honour due to my father’s friend, to inscribe this + little volume with your name. The name of one friend is better than those + of all the Muses. + </p> + <p> + And permit me to say a few words about the story.—It is a Romance. I + am well aware that, with many readers, this epithet will be enough to + ensure condemnation. But there ought to be a place for any story, which, + although founded in the marvellous, is true to human nature and to itself. + Truth to Humanity, and harmony within itself, are almost the sole + unvarying essentials of a work of art. Even <i>The Rime of the Ancient + Mariner</i>—than which what more marvellous?—is true in these + respects. And Shakespere himself will allow any amount of the marvellous, + provided this truth is observed. I hope my story is thus true; and + therefore, while it claims some place, undeserving of being classed with + what are commonly called <i>sensational novels.</i> + </p> + <p> + I am well aware that such tales are not of much account, at present; and + greatly would I regret that they should ever become the fashion; of which, + however, there is no danger. But, seeing so much of our life must be spent + in dreaming, may there not be a still nook, shadowy, but not miasmatic, in + some lowly region of literature, where, in the pauses of labour, a man may + sit down, and dream such a day-dream as I now offer to your acceptance, + and that of those who will judge the work, in part at least, by its purely + literary claims? If I confined my pen to such results, you, at least, + would have a right to blame me. But you, for one, will, I am sure, justify + an author in dreaming <i>sometimes</i>. + </p> + <p> + In offering you a story, however, founded on <i>The Second Sight</i>, the + belief in which was common to our ancestors, I owe you, at the same time, + an apology. For the tone and colour of the story are so different from + those naturally belonging to a Celtic tale, that you might well be + inclined to refuse my request, simply on the ground that your pure + Highland blood revolted from the degenerate embodiment given to the + ancient belief. I can only say that my early education was not Celtic + enough to enable me to do better in this respect. I beg that you will + accept the offering with forgiveness, if you cannot with approbation. + </p> + <p> + Yours affectionately, + </p> + <p> + GEORGE MACDONALD. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h4> + <i>To</i> DUNCAN MCCOLL, Esq., R.N., <i>Huntly.</i> + </h4> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + <b>CONTENTS</b> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <b>THE PORTENT</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I. <i>My Boyhood.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II. <i>The Second Hearing</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III. <i>My Old Nurses Story</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV. <i>Hilton Hall</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V. <i>Lady Alice</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI. <i>My Quarters.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII. <i>The Library</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII. <i>The Somnambulist.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX. <i>The First Waking</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X. <i>Love and Power</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI. <i>A New Pupil</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII. <i>Confession</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII. <i>Questioning</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV. <i>Jealousy.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV. <i>The Chamber of Ghosts</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI. <i>The Clanking Shoe</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII. <i>The Physician.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0018"> CHAPTER XVIII. <i>Old Friends.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER XIX. <i>Old Constancy.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER XX. <i>Margaret</i>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER XXI. <i>Hilton.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER XXII. <i>The Sleeper.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER XXIII. <i>My Old Room.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER XXIV. <i>Prison-Breaking.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0025"> CHAPTER XXV. <i>New Entrenchments.</i> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0026"> CHAPTER XXVI. Escape. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0027"> CHAPTER XXVII. <i>Freedom</i>. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0029"> THE CRUEL PAINTER </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0030"> THE CASTLE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0031"> THE WOW O’RIVEN </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0032"> THE BROKEN SWORDS </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0033"> THE GRAY WOLF </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0034"> UNCLE CORNELIUS HIS STORY </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + THE PORTENT + </h1> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. <i>My Boyhood.</i> + </h2> + <p> + My father belonged to the widespread family of the Campbells, and + possessed a small landed property in the north of Argyll. But although of + long descent and high connection, he was no richer than many a farmer of a + few hundred acres. For, with the exception of a narrow belt of arable land + at its foot, a bare hill formed almost the whole of his possessions. The + sheep ate over it, and no doubt found it good; I bounded and climbed all + over it, and thought it a kingdom. From my very childhood, I had rejoiced + in being alone. The sense of room about me had been one of my greatest + delights. Hence, when my thoughts go back to those old years, it is not + the house, nor the family room, nor that in which I slept, that first of + all rises before my inward vision, but that desolate hill, the top of + which was only a wide expanse of moorland, rugged with height and hollow, + and dangerous with deep, dark pools, but in many portions purple with + large-belled heather, and crowded with cranberry and blaeberry plants. + Most of all, I loved it in the still autumn morning, outstretched in + stillness, high uplifted towards the heaven. On every stalk hung the dew + in tiny drops, which, while the rising sun was low, sparkled and burned + with the hues of all the gems. Here and there a bird gave a cry; no other + sound awoke the silence. I never see the statue of the Roman youth, + praying with outstretched arms, and open, empty, level palms, as waiting + to receive and hold the blessing of the gods, but that outstretched barren + heath rises before me, as if it meant the same thing as the statue—or + were, at least, the fit room in the middle space of which to set the + praying and expectant youth. + </p> + <p> + There was one spot upon the hill, half-way between the valley and the + moorland, which was my favourite haunt. This part of the hill was covered + with great blocks of stone, of all shapes and sizes—here crowded + together, like the slain where the battle had been fiercest; there parting + asunder from spaces of delicate green—of softest grass. In the + centre of one of these green spots, on a steep part of the hill, were + three huge rocks—two projecting out of the hill, rather than + standing up from it, and one, likewise projecting from the hill, but lying + across the tops of the two, so as to form a little cave, the back of which + was the side of the hill. This was my refuge, my home within a home, my + study—and, in the hot noons, often my sleeping chamber, and my house + of dreams. If the wind blew cold on the hillside, a hollow of lulling + warmth was there, scooped as it were out of the body of the blast, which, + sweeping around, whistled keen and thin through the cracks and crannies of + the rocky chaos that lay all about; in which confusion of rocks the wind + plunged, and flowed, and eddied, and withdrew, as the sea-waves on the + cliffy shores or the unknown rugged bottoms. Here I would often lie, as + the sun went down, and watch the silent growth of another sea, which the + stormy ocean of the wind could not disturb—the sea of the darkness. + First it would begin to gather in the bottom of hollow places. Deep + valleys, and all little pits on the hill-sides, were well-springs where it + gathered, and whence it seemed to overflow, till it had buried the earth + beneath its mass, and, rising high into the heavens, swept over the faces + of the stars, washed the blinding day from them, and let them shine, down + through the waters of the dark, to the eyes of men below. I would lie till + nothing but the stars and the dim outlines of hills against the sky was to + be seen, and then rise and go home, as sure of my path as if I had been + descending a dark staircase in my father’s house. + </p> + <p> + On the opposite side the valley, another hill lay parallel to mine; and + behind it, at some miles’ distance, a great mountain. As often as, in my + hermit’s cave, I lifted my eyes from the volume I was reading, I saw this + mountain before me. Very different was its character from that of the hill + on which I was seated. It was a mighty thing, a chieftain of the race, + seamed and scarred, featured with chasms and precipices and over-leaning + rocks, themselves huge as hills; here blackened with shade, there + overspread with glory; interlaced with the silvery lines of falling + streams, which, hurrying from heaven to earth, cared not how they went, so + it were downwards. Fearful stories were told of the gulfs, sullen waters, + and dizzy heights upon that terror-haunted mountain. In storms the wind + roared like thunder in its caverns and along the jagged sides of its + cliffs, but at other times that uplifted land-uplifted, yet secret and + full of dismay—lay silent as a cloud on the horizon. + </p> + <p> + I had a certain peculiarity of constitution, which I have some reason to + believe I inherit. It seems to have its root in an unusual delicacy of + hearing, which often conveys to me sounds inaudible to those about me. + This I have had many opportunities of proving. It has likewise, however, + brought me sounds which I could never trace back to their origin; though + they may have arisen from some natural operation which I had not + perseverance or mental acuteness sufficient to discover. From this, or, it + may be, from some deeper cause with which this is connected, arose a + certain kind of fearfulness associated with the sense of hearing, of which + I have never heard a corresponding instance. Full as my mind was of the + wild and sometimes fearful tales of a Highland nursery, fear never entered + my mind by the eyes, nor, when I brooded over tales of terror, and fancied + new and yet more frightful embodiments of horror, did I shudder at any + imaginable spectacle, or tremble lest the fancy should become fact, and + from behind the whin-bush or the elder-hedge should glide forth the tall + swaying form of the Boneless. When alone in bed, I used to lie awake, and + look out into the room, peopling it with the forms of all the persons who + had died within the scope of my memory and acquaintance. These fancied + forms were vividly present to my imagination. I pictured them pale, with + dark circles around their hollow eyes, visible by a light which glimmered + within them; not the light of life, but a pale, greenish phosphorescence, + generated by the decay of the brain inside. Their garments were white and + trailing, but torn and soiled, as by trying often in vain to get up out of + the buried coffin. But so far from being terrified by these imaginings, I + used to delight in them; and in the long winter evenings, when I did not + happen to have any book that interested me sufficiently, I used even to + look forward with expectation to the hour when, laying myself straight + upon my back, as if my bed were my coffin, I could call up from + underground all who had passed away, and see how they fared, yea, what + progress they had made towards final dissolution of form—but all the + time, with my fingers pushed hard into my ears, lest the faintest sound + should invade the silent citadel of my soul. If inadvertently I removed + one of my fingers, the agony of terror I instantly experienced is + indescribable. I can compare it to nothing but the rushing in upon my + brain of a whole churchyard of spectres. The very possibility of hearing a + sound, in such a mood, and at such a time, was almost enough to paralyse + me. So I could scare myself in broad daylight, on the open hillside, by + imagining unintelligible sounds; and my imagination was both original and + fertile in the invention of such. But my mind was too active to be often + subjected to such influences. Indeed life would have been hardly endurable + had these moods been of more than occasional occurrence. As I grew older, + I almost outgrew them. Yet sometimes one awful dread would seize me—that, + perhaps, the prophetic power manifest in the gift of second sight, which, + according to the testimony of my old nurse, had belonged to several of my + ancestors, had been in my case transformed in kind without losing its + nature, transferring its abode from the sight to the hearing, whence + resulted its keenness, and my fear and suffering. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. <i>The Second Hearing</i>. + </h2> + <p> + One summer evening, I had lingered longer than usual in my rocky retreat: + I had lain half dreaming in the mouth of my cave, till the shadows of + evening had fallen, and the gloaming had deepened half-way towards the + night. But the night had no more terrors for me than the day. Indeed, in + such regions there is a solitariness for which there seems a peculiar + sense, and upon which the shadows of night sink with a strange relief, + hiding from the eye the wide space which yet they throw more open to the + imagination. When I lifted my head, only a star here and there caught my + eye; but, looking intently into the depths of blue-grey, I saw that they + were crowded with twinkles. The mountain rose before me, a huge mass of + gloom; but its several peaks stood out against the sky with a clear, pure, + sharp outline, and looked nearer to me than the bulk from which they rose + heaven-wards. One star trembled and throbbed upon the very tip of the + loftiest, the central peak, which seemed the spire of a mighty temple + where the light was worshipped—crowned, therefore, in the darkness, + with the emblem of the day. I was lying, as I have said, with this fancy + still in my thought, when suddenly I heard, clear, though faint and far + away, the sound as of the iron-shod hoofs of a horse, in furious gallop + along an uneven rocky surface. It was more like a distant echo than an + original sound. It seemed to come from the face of the mountain, where no + horse, I knew, could go at that speed, even if its rider courted certain + destruction. There was a peculiarity, too, in the sound—a certain + tinkle, or clank, which I fancied myself able, by auricular analysis, to + distinguish from the body of the sound. Supposing the sound to be caused + by the feet of a horse, the peculiarity was just such as would result from + one of the shoes being loose. A terror—strange even to my experience—seized + me, and I hastened home. The sounds gradually died away as I descended the + hill. Could they have been an echo from some precipice of the mountain? I + knew of no road lying so that, if a horse were galloping upon it, the + sounds would be reflected from the mountain to me. + </p> + <p> + The next day, in one of my rambles, I found myself near the cottage of my + old foster-mother, who was distantly related to us, and was a trusted + servant in the family at the time I was born. On the death of my mother, + which took place almost immediately after my birth, she had taken the + entire charge of me, and had brought me up, though with difficulty; for + she used to tell me, I should never be either <i>folk</i> or <i>fairy</i>. + For some years she had lived alone in a cottage, at the bottom of a deep + green circular hollow, upon which, in walking over a healthy table-land, + one came with a sudden surprise. I was her frequent visitor. She was a + tall, thin, aged woman, with eager eyes, and well-defined clear-cut + features. Her voice was harsh, but with an undertone of great tenderness. + She was scrupulously careful in her attire, which was rather above her + station. Altogether, she had much the bearing of a gentle-woman. Her + devotion to me was quite motherly. Never having had any family of her own, + although she had been the wife of one of my father’s shepherds, she + expended the whole maternity of her nature upon me. She was always my + first resource in any perplexity, for I was sure of all the help she could + give me. And as she had much influence with my father, who was rather + severe in his notions, I had had occasion to beg her interference. No + necessity of this sort, however, had led to my visit on the present + occasion. + </p> + <p> + I ran down the side of the basin, and entered the little cottage. Nurse + was seated on a chair by the wall, with her usual knitting, a stocking, in + one hand; but her hands were motionless, and her eyes wide open and fixed. + I knew that the neighbours stood rather in awe of her, on the ground that + she had the second sight; but, although she often told us frightful enough + stories, she had never alluded to such a gift as being in her possession. + Now I concluded at once that she was <i>seeing</i>. I was confirmed in + this conclusion when, seeming to come to herself suddenly, she covered her + head with her plaid, and sobbed audibly, in spite of her efforts to + command herself. But I did not dare to ask her any questions, nor did she + attempt any excuse for her behaviour. After a few moments, she unveiled + herself, rose, and welcomed me with her usual kindness; then got me some + refreshment, and began to question me about matters at home. After a + pause, she said suddenly: “When are you going to get your commission, + Duncan, do you know?” I replied that I had heard nothing of it; that I did + not think my father had influence or money enough to procure me one, and + that I feared I should have no such good chance of distinguishing myself. + She did not answer, but nodded her head three times, slowly and with + compressed lips—apparently as much as to say, “I know better.” + </p> + <p> + Just as I was leaving her, it occurred to me to mention that I had heard + an odd sound the night before. She turned towards me, and looked at me + fixedly. “What was it like, Duncan, my dear?” + </p> + <p> + “Like a horse galloping with a loose shoe,” I replied. + </p> + <p> + “Duncan, Duncan, my darling!” she said, in a low, trembling voice, but + with passionate earnestness, “you did not hear it? Tell me that you did + not hear it! You only want to frighten poor old nurse: some one has been + telling you the story!” + </p> + <p> + It was my turn to be frightened now; for the matter became at once + associated with my fears as to the possible nature of my auricular + peculiarities. I assured her that nothing was farther from my intention + than to frighten her; that, on the contrary, she had rather alarmed me; + and I begged her to explain. But she sat down white and trembling, and did + not speak. Presently, however, she rose again, and saying, “I have known + it happen sometimes without anything very bad following,” began to put + away the basin and plate I had been using, as if she would compel herself + to be calm before me. I renewed my entreaties for an explanation, but + without avail. She begged me to be content for a few days, as she was + quite unable to tell the story at present. She promised, however, of her + own accord, that before I left home she would tell me all she knew. + </p> + <p> + The next day a letter arrived announcing the death of a distant relation, + through whose influence my father had had a lingering hope of obtaining an + appointment for me. There was nothing left but to look out for a situation + as tutor. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. <i>My Old Nurses Story</i>. + </h2> + <p> + I was now almost nineteen. I had completed the usual curriculum of study + at one of the Scotch universities; and, possessed of a fair knowledge of + mathematics and physics, and what I considered rather more than a good + foundation for classical and metaphysical acquirement, I resolved to apply + for the first suitable situation that offered. But I was spared the + trouble. A certain Lord Hilton, an English nobleman, residing in one of + the midland counties, having heard that one of my father’s sons was + desirous of such a situation, wrote to him, offering me the post of tutor + to his two boys, of the ages of ten and twelve. He had been partly + educated at a Scotch university; and this, it may be, had prejudiced him + in favour of a Scotch tutor; while an ancient alliance of the families by + marriage was supposed by my nurse to be the reason of his offering me the + situation. Of this connection, however, my father said nothing to me, and + it went for nothing in my anticipations. I was to receive a hundred pounds + a year, and to hold in the family the position of a gentleman, which might + mean anything or nothing, according to the disposition of the heads of the + family. Preparations for my departure were immediately commenced. I set + out one evening for the cottage of my old nurse, to bid her good-bye for + many months, probably years. I was to leave the next day for Edinburgh, on + my way to London, whence I had to repair by coach to my new abode—almost + to me like the land beyond the grave, so little did I know about it, and + so wide was the separation between it and my home. The evening was sultry + when I began my walk, and before I arrived at its end, the clouds rising + from all quarters of the horizon, and especially gathering around the + peaks of the mountain, betokened the near approach of a thunderstorm. This + was a great delight to me. Gladly would I take leave of my home with the + memory of a last night of tumultuous magnificence; followed, probably, by + a day of weeping rain, well suited to the mood of my own heart in bidding + farewell to the best of parents and the dearest of homes. Besides, in + common with most Scotchmen who are young and hardy enough to be unable to + realise the existence of coughs and rheumatic fevers, it was a positive + pleasure to me to be out in rain, hail, or snow. + </p> + <p> + “I am come to bid you good-bye, Margaret; and to hear the story which you + promised to tell me before I left home: I go to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you go so soon, my darling? Well, it will be an awful night to tell it + in; but, as I promised, I suppose I must.” + </p> + <p> + At the moment, two or three great drops of rain, the first of the storm, + fell down the wide chimney, exploding in the clear turf-fire. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, indeed you must,” I replied. + </p> + <p> + After a short pause, she commenced. Of course she spoke in Gaelic; and I + translate from my recollection of the Gaelic; but rather from the + impression left upon my mind, than from any recollection of the words. She + drew her chair near the fire, which we had reason to fear would soon be + put out by the falling rain, and began. + </p> + <p> + “How old the story is, I do not know. It has come down through many + generations. My grandmother told it to me as I tell it to you; and her + mother and my mother sat beside, never interrupting, but nodding their + heads at every turn. Almost it ought to begin like the fairy tales, <i>Once + upon a time,</i>—it took place so long ago; but it is too dreadful + and too true to tell like a fairy tale.—There were two brothers, + sons of the chief of our clan, but as different in appearance and + disposition as two men could be. The elder was fair-haired and strong, + much given to hunting and fishing; fighting too, upon occasion, I dare + say, when they made a foray upon the Saxon, to get back a mouthful of + their own. But he was gentleness itself to every one about him, and the + very soul of honour in all his doings. The younger was very dark in + complexion, and tall and slender compared to his brother. He was very fond + of book-learning, which, they say, was an uncommon taste in those times. + He did not care for any sports or bodily exercises but one; and that, too, + was unusual in these parts. It was horsemanship. He was a fierce rider, + and as much at home in the saddle as in his study-chair. You may think + that, so long ago, there was not much fit room for riding hereabouts; but, + fit or not fit, he rode. From his reading and riding, the neighbours + looked doubtfully upon him, and whispered about the black art. He usually + bestrode a great powerful black horse, without a white hair on him; and + people said it was either the devil himself, or a demon-horse from the + devil’s own stud. What favoured this notion was, that, in or out of the + stable, the brute would let no other than his master go near him. Indeed, + no one would venture, after he had killed two men, and grievously maimed a + third, tearing him with his teeth and hoofs like a wild beast. But to his + master he was obedient as a hound, and would even tremble in his presence + sometimes. + </p> + <p> + “The youth’s temper corresponded to his habits. He was both gloomy and + passionate. Prone to anger, he had never been known to forgive. Debarred + from anything on which he had set his heart, he would have gone mad with + longing if he had not gone mad with rage. His soul was like the night + around us now, dark, and sultry, and silent, but lighted up by the red + levin of wrath and torn by the bellowings of thunder-passion. He must have + his will: hell might have his soul. Imagine, then, the rage and malice in + his heart, when he suddenly became aware that an orphan girl, distantly + related to them, who had lived with them for nearly two years, and whom he + had loved for almost all that period, was loved by his elder brother, and + loved him in return. He flung his right hand above his head, swore a + terrible oath that if he might not, his brother should not, rushed out of + the house, and galloped off among the hills. + </p> + <p> + “The orphan was a beautiful girl, tall, pale, and slender, with plentiful + dark hair, which, when released from the snood, rippled down below her + knees. Her appearance formed a strong contrast with that of her favoured + lover, while there was some resemblance between her and the younger + brother. This fact seemed, to his fierce selfishness, ground for a prior + claim. + </p> + <p> + “It may appear strange that a man like him should not have had instant + recourse to his superior and hidden knowledge, by means of which he might + have got rid of his rival with far more of certainty and less of risk; but + I presume that, for the moment, his passion overwhelmed his consciousness + of skill. Yet I do not suppose that he foresaw the mode in which his + hatred was about to operate. At the moment when he learned their mutual + attachment, probably through a domestic, the lady was on her way to meet + her lover as he returned from the day’s sport. The appointed place was on + the edge of a deep, rocky ravine, down in whose dark bosom brawled and + foamed a little mountain torrent. You know the place, Duncan, my dear, I + dare say.” + </p> + <p> + (Here she gave me a minute description of the spot, with directions how to + find it.) + </p> + <p> + “Whether any one saw what I am about to relate, or whether it was put + together afterwards, I cannot tell. The story is like an old tree—so + old that it has lost the marks of its growth. But this is how my + grandmother told it to me.—An evil chance led him in the right + direction. The lovers, startled by the sound of the approaching horse, + parted in opposite directions along a narrow mountain-path on the edge of + the ravine. Into this path he struck at a point near where the lovers had + met, but to opposite sides of which they had now receded; so that he was + between them on the path. Turning his horse up the course of the stream, + he soon came in sight of his brother on the ledge before him. With a + suppressed scream of rage, he rode head-long at him, and ere he had time + to make the least defence, hurled him over the precipice. The helplessness + of the strong man was uttered in one single despairing cry as he shot into + the abyss. Then all was still. The sound of his fall could not reach the + edge of the gulf. Divining in a moment that the lady, whose name was + Elsie, must have fled in the opposite direction, he reined his steed on + his haunches. He could touch the precipice with his bridle-hand half + outstretched; his sword-hand half outstretched would have dropped a stone + to the bottom of the ravine. There was no room to wheel. One desperate + practicability alone remained. Turning his horse’s head towards the edge, + he compelled him, by means of the powerful bit, to rear till he stood + almost erect; and so, his body swaying over the gulf, with quivering and + straining muscles, to turn on his hind-legs. Having completed the + half-circle, he let him drop, and urged him furiously in the opposite + direction. It must have been by the devil’s own care that he was able to + continue his gallop along that ledge of rock. + </p> + <p> + “He soon caught sight of the maiden. She was leaning, half fainting, + against the precipice. She had heard her lover’s last cry, and although it + had conveyed no suggestion of his voice to her ear, she trembled from head + to foot, and her limbs would bear her no farther. He checked his speed, + rode gently up to her, lifted her unresisting, laid her across the + shoulders of his horse, and, riding carefully till he reached a more open + path, dashed again wildly along the mountain-side. The lady’s long hair + was shaken loose, and dropped trailing on the ground. The horse trampled + upon it, and stumbled, half dragging her from the saddle-bow. He caught + her, lifted her up, and looked at her face. She was dead. I suppose he + went mad. He laid her again across the saddle before him, and rode on, + reckless whither. Horse, and man, and maiden were found the next day, + lying at the foot of a cliff, dashed to pieces. It was observed that a + hind-shoe of the horse was loose and broken. Whether this had been the + cause of his fall, could not be told; but ever when he races, as race he + will, till the day of doom, along that mountain-side, his gallop is + mingled with the clank of the loose and broken shoe. For, like the sin, + the punishment is awful: he shall carry about for ages the phantom-body of + the girl, knowing that her soul is away, sitting with the soul of his + brother, down in the deep ravine, or scaling with him the topmost crags of + the towering mountain-peaks. There are some who, from time to time, see + the doomed man careering along the face of the mountain, with the lady + hanging across the steed; and they say it always betokens a storm, such as + this which is now raving around us.” + </p> + <p> + I had not noticed till now, so absorbed had I been in her tale, that the + storm had risen to a very ecstasy of fury. + </p> + <p> + “They say, likewise, that the lady’s hair is still growing; for, every + time they see her, it is longer than before; and that now such is its + length and the head-long speed of the horse, that it floats and streams + out behind, like one of those curved clouds, like a comet’s tail, far up + in the sky; only the cloud is white, and the hair dark as night. And they + say it will go on growing till the Last Day, when the horse will falter + and her hair will gather in; and the horse will fall, and the hair will + twist, and twine, and wreathe itself like a mist of threads about him, and + blind him to everything but her. Then the body will rise up within it, + face to face with him, animated by a fiend, who, twining her arms around + him, will drag him down to the bottomless pit.” + </p> + <p> + I may mention something which now occurred, and which had a strange effect + on my old nurse. It illustrates the assertion that we see around us only + what is within us: marvellous things enough will show themselves to the + marvellous mood.—During a short lull in the storm, just as she had + finished her story, we heard the sound of iron-shod hoofs approaching the + cottage. There was no bridle-way into the glen. A knock came to the door, + and, on opening it, we saw an old man seated on a horse, with a long + slenderly-filled sack lying across the saddle before him. He said he had + lost the path in the storm, and, seeing the light, had scrambled down to + inquire his way. I perceived at once, from the scared and mysterious look + of the old woman’s eyes, that she was persuaded that this appearance had + more than a little to do with the awful rider, the terrific storm, and + myself who had heard the sound of the phantom-hoofs. As he ascended the + hill, she looked after him, with wide and pale but unshrinking eyes; then + turning in, shut and locked the door behind her, as by a natural instinct. + After two or three of her significant nods, accompanied by the compression + of her lips, she said:— + </p> + <p> + “He need not think to take me in, wizard as he is, with his disguises. I + can see him through them all. Duncan, my dear, when you suspect anything, + do not be too incredulous. This human demon is of course a wizard still, + and knows how to make himself, as well as anything he touches, take a + quite different appearance from the real one; only every appearance must + bear some resemblance, however distant, to the natural form. That man you + saw at the door was the phantom of which I have been telling you. What he + is after now, of course, I cannot tell; but you must keep a bold heart, + and a firm and wary foot, as you go home to-night.” + </p> + <p> + I showed some surprise, I do not doubt; and, perhaps, some fear as well; + but I only said, “How do you know him, Margaret?” + </p> + <p> + “I can hardly tell you,” she replied; “but I do know him. I think he hates + me. Often, of a wild night, when there is moonlight enough by fits, I see + him tearing around this little valley, just on the top edge—all + round; the lady’s hair and the horses mane and tail driving far behind, + and mingling, vaporous, with the stormy clouds. About he goes, in wild + careering gallop; now lost as the moon goes in, then visible far round + when she looks out again—an airy, pale-grey spectre, which few eyes + but mine could see; for, as far as I am aware, no one of the family but + myself has ever possessed the double gift of seeing and hearing both. In + this case I hear no sound, except now and then a clank from the broken + shoe. But I did not mean to tell you that I had ever seen him. I am not a + bit afraid of him. He cannot do more than he may. His power is limited; + else ill enough would he work, the miscreant.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said I, “what has all this, terrible as it is, to do with the + fright you took at my telling you that I had heard the sound of the broken + shoe? Surely you are not afraid of only a storm?” + </p> + <p> + “No, my boy; I fear no storm. But the fact is, that that sound is seldom + heard, and never, as far as I know, by any of the blood of that wicked + man, without betokening some ill to one of the family, and most probably + to the one who hears it—but I am not quite sure about that. Only + some evil it does portend, although a long time may elapse before it shows + itself; and I have a hope it may mean some one else than you.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not wish that,” I replied. “I know no one better able to bear it than + I am; and I hope, whatever it may be, that I only shall have to meet it. + It must surely be something serious to be so foretold—it can hardly + be connected with my disappointment in being compelled to be a pedagogue + instead of a soldier.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not trouble yourself about that, Duncan,” replied she. “A soldier you + must be. The same day you told me of the clank of the broken horseshoe, I + saw you return wounded from battle, and fall fainting from your horse in + the street of a great city—only fainting, thank God. But I have + particular reasons for being uneasy at your hearing that boding sound. Can + you tell me the day and hour of your birth?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” I replied. “It seems very odd when I think of it, but I really do + not know even the day.” + </p> + <p> + “Nor any one else; which is stranger still,” she answered. + </p> + <p> + “How does that happen, nurse?” + </p> + <p> + “We were in terrible anxiety about your mother at the time. So ill was + she, after you were just born, in a strange, unaccountable way, that you + lay almost neglected for more than an hour. In the very act of giving + birth to you, she seemed to the rest around her to be out of her mind, so + wildly did she talk; but I knew better. I knew that she was fighting some + evil power; and what power it was, I knew full well; for twice, during her + pains, I heard the click of the horseshoe. But no one could help her. + After her delivery, she lay as if in a trance, neither dead, nor at rest, + but as if frozen to ice, and conscious of it all the while. Once more I + heard the terrible sound of iron; and, at the moment, your mother started + from her trance, screaming, ‘My child! my child!’ We suddenly became aware + that no one had attended to the child, and rushed to the place where he + lay wrapped in a blanket. Uncovering him, we found him black in the face, + and spotted with dark spots upon the throat. I thought he was dead; but, + with great and almost hopeless pains, we succeeded in making him breathe, + and he gradually recovered. But his mother continued dreadfully exhausted. + It seemed as if she had spent her life for her child’s defence and birth. + That was you, Duncan, my dear. + </p> + <p> + “I was in constant attendance upon her. About a week after your birth, as + near as I can guess, just in the gloaming, I heard yet again the awful + clank—only once. Nothing followed till about midnight. Your mother + slept, and you lay asleep beside her. I sat by the bedside. A horror fell + upon me suddenly, though I neither saw nor heard anything. Your mother + started from her sleep with a cry, which sounded as if it came from far + away, out of a dream, and did not belong to this world. My blood curdled + with fear. She sat up in bed, with wide staring eyes and half-open rigid + lips, and, feeble as she was, thrust her arms straight out before her with + great force, her hands open and lifted up, with the palms outwards. The + whole action was of one violently repelling another. She began to talk + wildly as she had done before you were born, but, though I seemed to hear + and understand it all at the time, I could not recall a word of it + afterwards. It was as if I had listened to it when half asleep. I + attempted to soothe her, putting my arms round her, but she seemed quite + unconscious of my presence, and my arms seemed powerless upon the fixed + muscles of hers. Not that I tried to constrain her, for I knew that a + battle was going on of some kind or other, and my interference might do + awful mischief. I only tried to comfort and encourage her. All the time, I + was in a state of indescribable cold and suffering, whether more bodily or + mental I could not tell. But at length I heard yet again the clank of the + shoe A sudden peace seemed to fall upon my mind—or was it a warm, + odorous wind that filled the room? Your mother dropped her arms, and + turned feebly towards her baby. She saw that he slept a blessed sleep. She + smiled like a glorified spirit, and fell back exhausted on the pillow. I + went to the other side of the room to get a cordial. When I returned to + the bedside, I saw at once that she was dead. Her face smiled still, with + an expression of the uttermost bliss.” + </p> + <p> + Nurse ceased, trembling as overcome by the recollection; and I was too + much moved and awed to speak. At length, resuming the conversation, she + said: “You see it is no wonder, Duncan, my dear, if, after all this, I + should find, when I wanted to fix the date of your birth, that I could not + determine the day or the hour when it took place. All was confusion in my + poor brain. But it was strange that no one else could, any more than I. + One thing only I can tell you about it. As I carried you across the room + to lay you down, for I assisted at your birth, I happened to look up to + the window. Then I saw what I did not forget, although I did not think of + it again till many days after,—a bright star was shining on the very + tip of the thin crescent moon.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, then,” said I, “it is possible to determine the day and the very hour + when my birth took place.” + </p> + <p> + “See the good of book-learning!” replied she. “When you work it out, just + let me know, my dear, that I may remember it.” + </p> + <p> + “That I will.” + </p> + <p> + A silence of some moments followed. Margaret resumed:— + </p> + <p> + “I am afraid you will laugh at my foolish fancies, Duncan; but in thinking + over all these things, as you may suppose I often do, lying awake in my + lonely bed, the notion sometimes comes to me: What if my Duncan be the + youth whom his wicked brother hurled into the ravine, come again in a new + body, to live out his life on the earth, cut short by his brother’s + hatred? If so, his persecution of you, and of your mother for your sake, + is easy to understand. And if so, you will never be able to rest till you + find your fere, wherever she may have been born on the face of the earth. + For born she must be, long ere now, for you to find. I misdoubt me much, + however, if you will find her without great conflict and suffering + between, for the Powers of Darkness will be against you; though I have + good hope that you will overcome at last. You must forgive the fancies of + a foolish old woman, my dear.” + </p> + <p> + I will not try to describe the strange feelings, almost sensations, that + arose in me while listening to these extraordinary utterances, lest it + should be supposed I was ready to believe all that Margaret narrated or + concluded. I could not help doubting her sanity; but no more could I help + feeling very peculiarly moved by her narrative. + </p> + <p> + Few more words were spoken on either side, but after receiving renewed + exhortations to carefulness on my way home, I said good-bye to dear old + nurse, considerably comforted, I must confess, that I was not doomed to be + a tutor all my days; for I never questioned the truth of that vision and + its consequent prophecy. + </p> + <p> + I went out into the midst of the storm, into the alternating throbs of + blackness and radiance; now the possessor of no more room than what my + body filled, and now isolated in world-wide space. And the thunder seemed + to follow me, bellowing after me as I went. + </p> + <p> + Absorbed in the story I had heard, I took my way, as I thought, homewards. + The whole country was well known to me. I should have said, before that + night, that I could have gone home blindfold. Whether the lightning + bewildered me and made me take a false turn, I cannot tell; for the + hardest thing to understand, in intellectual as well as moral mistakes, is—how + we came to go wrong. But after wandering for some time, plunged in + meditation, and with no warning whatever of the presence of inimical + powers, a brilliant lightning-flash showed me that at least I was not near + home. The light was prolonged for a second or two by a slight electric + pulsation; and by that I distinguished a wide space of blackness on the + ground in front of me. Once more wrapped in the folds of a thick darkness, + I dared not move. Suddenly it occurred to me what the blackness was, and + whither I had wandered. It was a huge quarry, of great depth, long + disused, and half filled with water. I knew the place perfectly. A few + more steps would have carried me over the brink. I stood still, waiting + for the next flash, that I might be quite sure of the way I was about to + take before I ventured to move. While I stood, I fancied I heard a single + hollow plunge in the black water far below. When the lightning came, I + turned, and took my path in another direction. + </p> + <p> + After walking for some time across the heath, I fell. The fall became a + roll, and down a steep declivity I went, over and over, arriving at the + bottom uninjured. + </p> + <p> + Another flash soon showed me where I was-in the hollow valley, within a + couple of hundred yards from nurse’s cottage. I made my way towards it. + There was no light in it, except the feeblest glow from the embers of her + peat fire. “She is in bed,” I said to myself, “and I will not disturb + her.” Yet something drew me towards the little window. I looked in. At + first I could see nothing. At length, as I kept gazing, I saw something, + indistinct in the darkness, like an outstretched human form. + </p> + <p> + By this time the storm had lulled. The moon had been up for some time, but + had been quite concealed by tempestuous clouds. Now, however, these had + begun to break up; and, while I stood looking into the cottage, they + scattered away from the face of the moon, and a faint vapoury gleam of her + light, entering the cottage through a window opposite that at which I + stood, fell directly on the face of my old nurse, as she lay on her back, + outstretched upon chairs, pale as death, and with her eyes closed. The + light fell nowhere but on her face. A stranger to her habits would have + thought she was dead; but she had so much of the appearance she had had on + a former occasion, that I concluded at once she was in one of her trances. + But having often heard that persons in such a condition ought not to be + disturbed, and feeling quite sure she knew best how to manage herself, I + turned, though reluctantly, and left the lone cottage behind me in the + night, with the death-like woman lying motionless in the midst of it. + </p> + <p> + I found my way home without any further difficulty, and went to bed, where + I soon fell asleep, thoroughly wearied, more by the mental excitement I + had been experiencing than by the amount of bodily exercise I had gone + through. + </p> + <p> + My sleep was tormented with awful dreams; yet, strange to say, I awoke in + the morning refreshed and fearless. The sun was shining through the chinks + in my shutters, which had been closed because of the storm, and was making + streaks and bands of golden brilliancy upon the wall. I had dressed and + completed my preparations long before I heard the steps of the servant who + came to call me. + </p> + <p> + What a wonderful thing waking is! The time of the ghostly moonshine passes + by, and the great positive sunlight comes. A man who dreams, and knows + that he is dreaming, thinks he knows what waking is; but knows it so + little, that he mistakes, one after another, many a vague and dim change + in his dream for an awaking. When the true waking comes at last, he is + filled and overflowed with the power of its reality. So, likewise, one + who, in the darkness, lies waiting for the light about to be struck, and + trying to conceive, with all the force of his imagination, what the light + will be like, is yet, when the reality flames up before him, seized as by + a new and unexpected thing, different from and beyond all his imagining. + He feels as if the darkness were cast to an infinite distance behind him. + So shall it be with us when we wake from this dream of life into the truer + life beyond, and find all our present notions of being, thrown back as + into a dim, vapoury region of dreamland, where yet we thought we knew, and + whence we looked forward into the present. This must be what Novalis means + when he says: “Our life is not a dream; but it may become a dream, and + perhaps ought to become one.” + </p> + <p> + And so I looked back upon the strange history of my past; sometimes asking + myself,—“Can it be that all this realty happened to the same <i>me</i>, + who am now thinking about it in doubt and wonder?” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. <i>Hilton Hall</i>. + </h2> + <p> + As my father accompanied me to the door, where the gig, which was to carry + me over the first stage of my journey, was in waiting, a large target of + hide, well studded with brass nails, which had hung in the hall for time + unknown—to me, at least—fell on the floor with a dull bang. My + father started, but said nothing; and, as it seemed to me, rather pressed + my departure than otherwise. I would have replaced the old piece of armour + before I went, but he would not allow me to touch it, saying, with a grim + smile,— + </p> + <p> + “Take that for an omen, my boy, that your armour must be worn over the + conscience, and not over the body. Be a man, Duncan, my boy. Fear nothing, + and do your duty.” + </p> + <p> + A grasp of the hand was all the good-bye I could make; and I was soon + rattling away to meet the coach <i>for Edinburgh and London. Seated on the + top, I</i> was soon buried in a reverie, from which I was suddenly + startled by the sound of tinkling iron. Could it be that my adversary was + riding unseen alongside of the coach? Was that the clank of the ominous + shoe? But I soon discovered the cause of the sound, and laughed at my own + apprehensiveness. For I observed that the sound was repeated every time + that we passed any trees by the wayside, and that it was the peculiar echo + they gave of the loose chain and steel work about the harness. The sound + was quite different from that thrown back by the houses on the road. I + became perfectly familiar with it before the day was over. + </p> + <p> + I reached London in safety, and slept at the house of an old friend of my + father, who treated me with great kindness, and seemed altogether to take + a liking to me. Before I left he held out a hope of being able, some day + or other, to procure for me what I so much desired—a commission in + the army. + </p> + <p> + After spending a day or two with him, and seeing something of London, I + climbed once more on the roof of a coach; and, late in the afternoon, was + set down at the great gate of Hilton Hall. I walked up the broad avenue, + through the final arch of which, as through a huge Gothic window, I saw + the hall in the distance. Everything about me looked strange, rich, and + lovely. Accustomed to the scanty flowers and diminutive wood of my own + country, what I now saw gave me a feeling of majestic plenty, which I can + recall at will, but which I have never experienced again. Behind the trees + which formed the avenue, I saw a shrubbery, composed entirely of flowering + plants, almost all unknown to me. Issuing from the avenue, I found myself + amid open, wide, lawny spaces, in which the flower-beds lay like islands + of colour. A statue on a pedestal, the only white thing in the surrounding + green, caught my eye. I had seen scarcely any sculpture; and this, + attracting my attention by a favourite contrast of colour, retained it by + its own beauty. It was a Dryad, or some nymph of the woods, who had just + glided from the solitude of the trees behind, and had sprung upon the + pedestal to look wonderingly around her. A few large brown leaves lay at + her feet, borne thither by some eddying wind from the trees behind. As I + gazed, filled with a new pleasure, a drop of rain upon my face made me + look up. From a grey, fleecy cloud, with sun-whitened border, a light, + gracious, plentiful rain was falling. A rainbow sprang across the sky, and + the statue stood within the rainbow. At the same moment, from the base of + the pedestal rose a figure in white, graceful as the Dryad above, and + neither running, nor appearing to walk quickly, yet fleet as a ghost, + glided past me at a few paces, distance, and, keeping in a straight line + for the main entrance of the hall, entered by it and vanished. + </p> + <p> + I followed in the direction of the mansion, which was large, and of + several styles and ages. One wing appeared especially ancient. It was + neglected and out of repair, and had in consequence a desolate, almost + sepulchral look, an expression heightened by the number of large cypresses + which grew along its line. I went up to the central door and knocked. It + was opened by a grave, elderly butler. I passed under its flat arch, as if + into the midst of the waiting events of my story. For, as I glanced around + the hall, my consciousness was suddenly saturated, if I may be allowed the + expression, with the strange feeling—known to everyone, and yet so + strange—that I had seen it before; that, in fact, I knew it + perfectly. But what was yet more strange, and far more uncommon, was, + that, although the feeling with regard to the hall faded and vanished + instantly, and although I could not in the least surmise the appearance of + any of the regions into which I was about to be ushered, I yet followed + the butler with a kind of indefinable expectation of seeing something + which I had seen before; and every room or passage in that mansion + affected me, on entering it for the first time, with the same sensation of + previous acquaintance which I had experienced with regard to the hall. + This sensation, in every case, died away at once, leaving that portion + such as it might be expected to look to one who had never before entered + the place. + </p> + <p> + I was received by the housekeeper, a little, prim, benevolent old lady, + with colourless face and antique head-dress, who led me to the room + prepared for me. To my surprise, I found a large wood-fire burning on the + hearth; but the feeling of the place revealed at once the necessity for + it; and I scarcely needed to be informed that the room, which was upon the + ground floor, and looked out upon a little solitary grass-grown and + ivy-mantled court, had not been used for years, and therefore required to + be thus prepared for an inmate. My bedroom was a few paces down a passage + to the right. + </p> + <p> + Left alone, I proceeded to make a more critical survey of my room. Its + look of ancient mystery was to me incomparably more attractive than any + show of elegance or comfort could have been. It was large and low, + panelled throughout in oak, black with age, and worm-eaten in many parts—otherwise + entire. Both the windows looked into the little court or yard before + mentioned. All the heavier furniture of the room was likewise of black + oak, but the chairs and couches were covered with faded tapestry and + tarnished gilding, apparently the superannuated members of the general + household of seats. I could give an individual description of each, for + every atom in that room, large enough for discernable shape or colour, + seems branded into my brain. If I happen to have the least feverishness on + me, the moment I fall asleep, I am in that room. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. <i>Lady Alice</i>. + </h2> + <p> + When the bell rang for dinner, I managed to find my way to the + drawing-room, where were assembled Lady Hilton, her only daughter, a girl + of about thirteen, and the two boys, my pupils. Lady Hilton would have + been pleasant, could she have been as natural as she wished to appear. She + received me with some degree of kindness; but the half-cordiality of her + manner towards me was evidently founded on the impassableness of the gulf + between us. I knew at once that we should never be friends; that she would + never come down from the lofty table-land upon which she walked; and that + if, after being years in the house, I should happen to be dying, she would + send the housekeeper to me. All right, no doubt; I only say that it was + so. She introduced to me my pupils; fine, open-eyed, manly English boys, + with something a little overbearing in their manner, which speedily + disappeared in relation to me. Lord Hilton was not at home. Lady Hilton + led the way to the dining-room; the elder boy gave his arm to his sister, + and I was about to follow with the younger, when from one of the deep bay + windows glided out, still in white, the same figure which had passed me + upon the lawn. I started, and drew back. With a slight bow, she preceded + me, and followed the others down the great staircase. Seated at table, I + had leisure to make my observations upon them all; but most of my glances + found their way to the lady who, twice that day, had affected me like an + apparition. What is time, but the airy ocean in which ghosts come and go! + </p> + <p> + She was about twenty years of age; rather above the middle height, and + rather slight in form; her complexion white rather than pale, her face + being only less white than the deep marbly whiteness of her arms. Her eyes + were large, and full of liquid night—a night throbbing with the + light of invisible stars. Her hair seemed raven-black, and in quantity + profuse. The expression of her face, however, generally partook more of + vagueness than any other characteristic. Lady Hilton called her Lady + Alice; and she never addressed Lady Hilton but in the same ceremonious + style. + </p> + <p> + I afterwards learned from the old house-keeper, that Lady Alice’s position + in the family was a very peculiar one. Distantly connected with Lord + Hilton’s family on the mother’s side, she was the daughter of the late + Lord Glendarroch, and step-daughter to Lady Hilton, who had become Lady + Hilton within a year after Lord Glendarroch’s death. Lady Alice, then + quite a child, had accompanied her stepmother, to whom she was moderately + attached, and who had been allowed to retain undisputed possession of her. + She had no near relatives, else the fortune I afterwards found to be at + her disposal would have aroused contending claims to the right of + guardianship. + </p> + <p> + Although she was in many respects kindly treated by her stepmother, + certain peculiarities tended to her isolation from the family pursuits and + pleasures. Lady Alice had no accomplishments. She could neither spell her + own language, nor even read it aloud. Yet she delighted in reading to + herself, though, for the most part, books which Mrs. Wilson characterised + as very odd. Her voice, when she spoke, had a quite indescribable music in + it; yet she neither sang nor played. Her habitual motion was more like a + rhythmical gliding than an ordinary walk, yet she could not dance. Mrs. + Wilson hinted at other and more serious peculiarities, which she either + could not, or would not describe; always shaking her head gravely and + sadly, and becoming quite silent, when I pressed for further explanation; + so that, at last, I gave up all attempts to arrive at an understanding of + the mystery by her means. Not the less, however, I speculated on the + subject. + </p> + <p> + One thing soon became evident to me: that she was considered not merely + deficient as to the power of intellectual acquirement, but in a quite + abnormal intellectual condition. Of this, however, I could myself see no + sign. The peculiarity, almost oddity, of some of her remarks, was + evidently not only misunderstood, but, with relation to her mental state, + misinterpreted. Such remarks Lady Hilton generally answered only by an + elongation of the lips intended to represent a smile. To me, they appeared + to indicate a nature closely allied to genius, if not identical with it-a + power of regarding things from an original point of view, which perhaps + was the more unfettered in its operation from the fact that she was + incapable of looking at them in the ordinary common-place way. It seemed + to me, sometimes, as if her point of observation was outside of the sphere + within which the thing observed took place; and as if what she said, had a + relation, occasionally, to things and thoughts and mental conditions + familiar to her, but at which not even a definite guess could be made by + me. I am compelled to acknowledge, however, that with such utterances as + these mingled now and then others, silly enough for any drawing-room young + lady; which seemed again to be accepted by the family as proofs that she + was not <i>altogether</i> out of her right mind. She was gentle and kind + to the children, as they were still called; and they seemed reasonably + fond of her. + </p> + <p> + There was something to me exceedingly touching in the solitariness of this + girl; for no one spoke to her as if she were like other people, or as if + any heartiness were possible between them. Perhaps no one could have felt + quite at home with her but a mother, whose heart had been one with hers + from a season long anterior to the development of any repulsive oddity. + But her position was one of peculiar isolation, for no one really + approached her individual being; and that she should be unaware of this + loneliness, seemed to me saddest of all. I soon found, however, that the + most distant attempt on my part to show her attention, was either received + with absolute indifference, or coldly repelled without the slightest + acknowledgment. + </p> + <p> + But I return to the first night of my sojourn at Hilton Hall. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. <i>My Quarters.</i> + </h2> + <p> + After making arrangements for commencing work in the morning, I took my + leave, and retired to my own room, intent upon carrying out with more + minuteness the survey I had already commenced: several cupboards in the + wall, and one or two doors, apparently of closets, had especially + attracted my attention. Strange was its look as I entered—as of a + room hollowed out of the past, for a memorial of dead times. The fire had + sunk low, and lay smouldering beneath the white ashes, like the life of + the world beneath the snow, or the heart of a man beneath cold and grey + thoughts. I lighted the candles which stood upon the table, but the room, + instead of being brightened looked blacker than before, for the light + revealed its essential blackness. + </p> + <p> + As I cast my eyes around me, standing with my back to the hearth (on + which, for mere companionship’s sake, I had just heaped fresh wood), a + thrill ran suddenly throughout my frame. I felt as if, did it last a + moment longer, I should become aware of another presence in the room; but, + happily for me, it ceased before it had reached that point; and I, + recovering my courage, remained ignorant of the cause of my fear, if there + were any, other than the nature of the room itself. With a candle in my + hand, I proceeded to open the various cupboards and closets. At first I + found nothing remarkable about any of them. The latter were quite empty, + except the last I came to, which had a piece of very old elaborate + tapestry hanging at the back of it. Lifting this up, I saw what seemed at + first to be panels, corresponding to those which formed the room; but on + looking more closely, I discovered that this back of the closet was, or + had been, a door. There was nothing unusual in this, especially in such an + old house; but the discovery roused in me a strong desire to know what lay + behind the old door. I found that it was secured only by an ordinary bolt, + from which the handle had been removed. Soothing my conscience with the + reflection that I had a right to know what sort of place had communication + with my room, I succeeded, by the help of my deer-knife, in forcing back + the rusty bolt; and though, from the stiffness of the hinges, I dreaded a + crack, they yielded at last with only a creak. + </p> + <p> + The opening door revealed a large hall, empty utterly, save of dust and + cobwebs, which festooned it in all quarters, and gave it an appearance of + unutterable desolation. The now familiar feeling, that I had seen the + place before, filled my mind the first moment, and passed away the next. A + broad, right-angled staircase, with massive banisters, rose from the + middle of the hall. This staircase could not have originally belonged to + the ancient wing which I had observed on my first approach, being much + more modern; but I was convinced, from the observations I had made as to + the situation of my room, that I was bordering upon, if not within, the + oldest portion of the pile. In sudden horror, lest I should hear a light + footfall upon the awful stair, I withdrew hurriedly, and having secured + both the doors, betook myself to my bedroom; in whose dingy four-post bed, + with its carving and plumes reminding me of a hearse, I was soon ensconced + amidst the snowiest linen, with the sweet and clean odour of lavender. In + spite of novelty, antiquity, speculation, and dread, I was soon fast + asleep; becoming thereby a fitter inhabitant of such regions, than when I + moved about with restless and disturbing curiosity, through their ancient + and death-like repose. + </p> + <p> + I made no use of my discovered door, although I always intended doing so; + especially after, in talking about the building with Lady Hilton, I found + that I was at perfect liberty to make what excursions I pleased into the + deserted portions. + </p> + <p> + My pupils turned out to be teachable, and therefore my occupation was + pleasant. Their sister frequently came to me for help, as there happened + to be just then an interregnum of governesses: soon she settled into a + regular pupil. + </p> + <p> + After a few weeks Lord Hilton returned. Though my room was so far from the + great hall, I heard the clank of his spurs on its pavement. I trembled; + for it sounded like the broken shoe. But I shook off the influence in a + moment, heartily ashamed of its power over me. Soon I became familiar + enough both with the sound and its cause; for his lordship rarely went + anywhere except on horseback, and was booted and spurred from morning till + night. + </p> + <p> + He received me with some appearance of interest, which immediately + stiffened and froze. Beginning to shake hands with me as if he meant it, + he instantly dropped my hand, as if it had stung him. + </p> + <p> + His nobility was of that sort which stands in constant need of repair. + Like a weakly constitution, it required keeping up, and his lordship could + not be said to neglect it; for he seemed to find his principal employment + in administering continuous doses of obsequiousness to his own pride. His + rank, like a coat made for some large ancestor, hung loose upon him: he + was always trying to persuade himself that it was an excellent fit, but + ever with an unacknowledged misgiving. This misgiving might have done him + good, had he not met it with renewed efforts at looking that which he + feared he was not. Yet this man was capable of the utmost persistency in + carrying out any scheme he had once devised. Enough of him for the + present: I seldom came into contact with him. + </p> + <p> + I scarcely ever saw Lady Alice, except at dinner, or by accidental meeting + in the grounds and passages of the house; and then she took no notice of + me whatever. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. <i>The Library</i>. + </h2> + <p> + One day, a week after his arrival, Lord Hilton gave a dinner-party to some + of his neighbours and tenants. I entered the drawing-room rather late, and + saw that, though there were many guests, not one was talking to Lady + Alice. She appeared, however, altogether unconscious of neglect. Presently + dinner was announced, and the company marshalled themselves, and took + their way to the dining-room. Lady Alice was left unattended, the guests + taking their cue from the behaviour of their entertainers. I ventured to + go up to her, and offer her my arm. She made me a haughty bow, and passed + on before me unaccompanied. I could not help feeling hurt at this, and I + think she saw it; but it made no difference to her behaviour, except that + she avoided everything that might occasion me the chance of offering my + services. + </p> + <p> + Nor did I get any further with Lady Hilton. Her manner and smile remained + precisely the same as on our first interview. She did not even show any + interest in the fact that her daughter, Lady Lucy, had joined her brothers + in the schoolroom. I had an uncomfortable feeling that the latter was like + her mother, and was not to be trusted. Self-love is the foulest of all + foul feeders, and will defile that it may devour. But I must not + anticipate. + </p> + <p> + The neglected library was open to me at all hours; and in it I often took + refuge from the dreariness of unsympathetic society. I was never admitted + within the magic circle of the family interests and enjoyments. If there + was such a circle, Lady Alice and I certainly stood outside of it; but + whether even then it had any real inside to it, I doubted much. + Nevertheless, as I have said, our common exclusion had not the effect of + bringing us together as sharers of the same misfortune. In the library I + found companions more to my need. But, even there, they were not easy to + find; for the books were in great confusion. I could discover no + catalogue, nor could I hear of the existence of such a useless luxury. One + morning at breakfast, therefore, I asked Lord Hilton if I might arrange + and catalogue the books during my leisure hours. He replied:— + </p> + <p> + “Do anything you like with them, Mr. Campbell, except destroy them.” + </p> + <p> + Now I was in my element. I never had been by any means a book-worm; but + the very outside of a book had a charm to me. It was a kind of sacrament—an + outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace; as, indeed, + what on God’s earth is not? So I set to work amongst the books, and soon + became familiar with many titles at least, which had been perfectly + unknown to me before. I found a perfect set of our poets-perfect according + to the notion of the editor and the issue of the publisher, although it + omitted both Chaucer and George Herbert. I began to nibble at that portion + of the collection which belonged to the sixteenth century; but with little + success. I found nothing, to my idea, but love poems without any love in + them, and so I soon became weary. But I found in the library what I liked + far better—many romances of a very marvellous sort, and plentiful + interruption they gave to the formation of the catalogue. I likewise came + upon a whole nest of the German classics which seemed to have kept their + places undisturbed, in virtue of their unintelligibility. There must have + been some well-read scholar in the family, and that not long before, to + judge by the near approach of the line of this literature; happening to be + a tolerable reader of German, I found in these volumes a mine of wealth + inexhaustible. I learned from Mrs. Wilson that this scholar was a younger + brother of Lord Hilton, who had died about twenty years before. He had led + a retired, rather lonely life, was of a melancholy and brooding + disposition, and was reported to have had an unfortunate love-story. This + was one of many histories which she gave me. For the library being dusty + as a catacomb, the private room of Old Time himself, I had often to betake + myself to her for assistance. The good lady had far more regard than the + owners of it for the library, and was delighted with the pains I was + taking to re-arrange and clean it. She would allow no one to help me but + herself; and to many a long-winded story, most of which I forgot as soon + as I heard them, did I listen, or seem to listen, while she dusted the + shelves and I the books. + </p> + <p> + One day I had sent a servant to ask Mrs. Wilson to come to me. I had taken + down all the books from a hitherto undisturbed corner, and had seated + myself on a heap of them, no doubt a very impersonation of the genius of + the place; for while I waited for the housekeeper, I was consuming a + morsel of an ancient metrical romance. After waiting for some time, I + glanced towards the door, for I had begun to get impatient for the + entrance of my helper. To my surprise, there stood Lady Alice, her eyes + fixed upon me with an expression I could not comprehend. Her face + instantly altered to its usual look of indifference, dashed with the least + possible degree of scorn, as she turned and walked slowly away. I rose + involuntarily. An old cavalry sword, which I had just taken down from the + wall, and had placed leaning against the books from which I now rose, fell + with a clash to the floor. I started; for it was a sound that always + startled me; and stooping I lifted the weapon. But what was my surprise + when I raised my head, to see once more the face of Lady Alice staring in + at the door! yet not the same face, for it had changed in the moment that + had passed. It was pale with fear—not fright; and her great black + eyes were staring beyond me as if she saw something through the wall of + the room. Once more her face altered to the former scornful indifference, + and she vanished. Keen of hearing as I was, I had never yet heard the + footstep of Lady Alice. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. <i>The Somnambulist.</i> + </h2> + <p> + One night I was sitting in my room, devouring an old romance which I had + brought from the library. It was late. The fire blazed bright; but the + candles were nearly burnt out, and I grew sleepy over the volume, romance + as it was. + </p> + <p> + Suddenly I found myself on my feet, listening with an agony of intention. + Whether I had heard anything I could not tell; but I felt as if I had. + Yes; I was sure of it. Far away, somewhere in the labyrinthine pile, I + heard a faint cry. Driven by some secret impulse, I flew, without a + moment’s reflection, to the closet door, lifted the tapestry within, + unfastened the second door, and stood in the great waste echoing hall, + amid the touches, light and ghostly, of the cobwebs set afloat in the + eddies occasioned by my sudden entrance. + </p> + <p> + A faded moonbeam fell on the floor, and filled the place with an ancient + dream-light, which wrought strangely on my brain, and filled it, as if it, + too, were but a deserted, sleepy house, haunted by old dreams and + memories. Recollecting myself, I went back for a light; but the candles + were both flickering in the sockets, and I was compelled to trust to the + moon. I ascended the staircase. Old as it was, not a board creaked, not a + banister shook—the whole felt solid as rock. Finding, at length, no + more stair to ascend, I groped my way on; for here there was no direct + light from the moon—only the light of the moonlit air. I was in some + trepidation, I confess; for how should I find my way back? But the worst + result likely to ensue was, that I should have to spend the night without + knowing where; for with the first glimmer of morning, I should be able to + return to my room. At length, after wandering into several rooms and out + again, my hand fell on a latched door. I opened it, and entered a long + corridor, with many windows on one side. Broad strips of moonlight lay + slantingly across the narrow floor, divided by regular intervals of shade. + </p> + <p> + I started, and my heart swelled; for I saw a movement somewhere—I + could neither tell where, nor of what: I was only aware of motion. I stood + in the first shadow, and gazed, but saw nothing. I sped across the light + to the next shadow, and stood again, looking with fearful fixedness of + gaze towards the far end of the corridor. Suddenly a white form glimmered + and vanished. I crossed to the next shadow. Again a glimmer and vanishing, + but nearer. Nerving myself to the utmost, I ceased the stealthiness of my + movements, and went forward, slowly and steadily. A tall form, apparently + of a woman, dressed in a long white robe, appeared in one of the streams + of light, threw its arms over its head, gave a wild cry—which, + notwithstanding its wildness and force, had a muffled sound, as if many + folds, either of matter or of space, intervened—and fell at full + length along the moonlight. Amidst the thrill of agony which shook me at + the cry, I rushed forward, and, kneeling beside the prostrate figure, + discovered that, unearthly as was the scream which had preceded her fall, + it was the Lady Alice. I saw the fact in a moment: the Lady Alice was a + somnambulist. Startled by the noise of my advance, she had awaked; and the + usual terror and fainting had followed. She was cold and motionless as + death. What was to be done? If I called, the probability was that no one + would hear me; or if any one should hear—but I need not follow the + course of my thought, as I tried in vain to recover the poor girl. Suffice + it to say, that both for her sake and my own, I could not face the chance + of being found, in the dead of night, by common-minded domestics, in such + a situation. + </p> + <p> + I was kneeling by her side, not knowing what to do, when a horror, as from + the presence of death suddenly recognized, fell upon me. I thought she + must be dead. But at the same moment, I hear, or seemed to hear, (how + should I know which?) the rapid gallop of a horse, and the clank of a + loose shoe. + </p> + <p> + In an agony of fear, I caught her up in my arms, and, carrying her on my + arms, as one carries a sleeping child, hurried back through the corridor. + Her hair, which was loose, trailed on the ground; and, as I fled, I + trampled on it and stumbled. She moaned; and that instant the gallop + ceased. I lifted her up across my shoulder, and carried her more easily. + How I found my way to the stair I cannot tell: I know that I groped about + for some time, like one in a dream with a ghost in his arms. At last I + reached it, and descending, crossed the hall, and entered my room. There I + placed Lady Alice upon an old couch, secured the doors, and began to + breathe—and think. The first thing was to get her warm, for she was + cold as the dead. I covered her with my plaid and my dressing-gown, pulled + the couch before the fire, and considered what to do next. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. <i>The First Waking</i>. + </h2> + <p> + While I hesitated, Nature had her own way, and, with a deep-drawn sigh, + Lady Alice opened her eyes. Never shall I forget the look of mingled + bewilderment, alarm, and shame, with which her great eyes met mine. But, + in a moment, this expression changed to that of anger. Her dark eyes + flashed with light; and a cloud of roseate wrath grew in her face, till it + glowed with the opaque red of a camellia. She had almost started from the + couch, when, apparently discovering the unsuitableness of her dress, she + checked her impetuosity, and remained leaning on her elbow. Overcome by + her anger, her beauty, and my own confusion, I knelt before her, unable to + speak, or to withdraw my eyes from hers. After a moment’s pause, she began + to question me like a queen, and I to reply like a culprit. + </p> + <p> + “How did I come here?” + </p> + <p> + “I carried you.” + </p> + <p> + “Where did you find me, pray?” + </p> + <p> + Her lip curled with ten times the usual scorn. + </p> + <p> + “In the old house, in a long corridor.” + </p> + <p> + “What right had you to be there?” + </p> + <p> + “I heard a cry, and could not help going.” + </p> + <p> + “Tis impossible.—I see. Some wretch told you, and you watched for + me.” + </p> + <p> + “I did not, Lady Alice.” + </p> + <p> + She burst into tears, and fell back on the couch, with her face turned + away. Then, anger reviving, she went on through her sobs:— + </p> + <p> + “Why did you not leave me where I fell? You had done enough to hurt me + without bringing me here.” + </p> + <p> + And again she fell a-weeping. + </p> + <p> + Now I found words. + </p> + <p> + “Lady Alice,” I said, “how could I leave you lying in the moonlight? + Before the sun rose, the terrible moon might have distorted your beautiful + face.” + </p> + <p> + “Be silent, sir. What have you to do with my face?” + </p> + <p> + “And the wind, Lady Alice, was blowing through the corridor windows, keen + and cold as the moonlight. How could I leave you?” + </p> + <p> + “You could have called for help.” + </p> + <p> + “Forgive me, Lady Alice, if I erred in thinking you would rather command + the silence of a gentleman to whom an accident had revealed your secret, + than be exposed to the domestics who would have gathered round us.” + </p> + <p> + Again she half raised herself, and again her eyes flashed. + </p> + <p> + “A secret with <i>you</i>, sir!” + </p> + <p> + “But, besides, Lady Alice,” I cried, springing to my feet, in distress at + her hardness, “I heard the horse with the clanking shoe, and, in terror, I + caught you up, and fled with you, almost before I knew what I did. And I + hear it now—I hear it now!” I cried, as once more the ominous sound + rang through my brain. + </p> + <p> + The angry glow faded from her face, and its paleness grew almost ghastly + with dismay. + </p> + <p> + “Do <i>you</i> hear it?” she said, throwing back her covering, and rising + from the couch. “I do not.” + </p> + <p> + She stood listening with distended eyes, as if <i>they</i> were the gates + by which such sounds entered. + </p> + <p> + “I do not hear it,” she said again, after a pause. “It must be gone now.” + Then, turning to me, she laid her hand on my arm, and looked at me. Her + black hair, disordered and entangled, wandered all over her white dress to + her knees. Her face was paler than ever; and her eyes were so wide open + that I could see the white all round the large dark iris. + </p> + <p> + “Did you hear it?” she said. “No one ever heard it before but me. I must + forgive you—you could not help it. I will trust you, too. Take me to + my room.” + </p> + <p> + Without a word of reply, I wrapped my plaid about her. Then bethinking me + of my chamber-candle, I lighted it, and opening the two doors, led her out + of the room. + </p> + <p> + “How is this?” she asked. “Why do you take me this way? I do not know the + place.” + </p> + <p> + “This is the way I brought you in, Lady Alice,” I answered. “I know no + other way to the spot where I found you. And I can guide you no farther + than there—hardly even so far, for I groped my way there for the + first time this night or morning—whichever it may be.” + </p> + <p> + “It is past midnight, but not morning yet,” she replied, “I always know. + But there must be another way from your room?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, of course; but we should have to pass the housekeeper’s door—she + is always late.” + </p> + <p> + “Are we near her room? I should know my way from there. I fear it would + not surprise any of the household to see me. They would say—‘It is + only Lady Alice.’ Yet I cannot tell you how I shrink from being seen. No—I + will try the way you brought me—if you do not mind going back with + me.” + </p> + <p> + This conversation passed in low tone and hurried words. It was scarcely + over before we found ourselves at the foot of the staircase. Lady Alice + shivered, and drew the plaid close round her. + </p> + <p> + We ascended, and soon found the corridor; but when we got through it, she + was rather bewildered. At length, after looking into several of the rooms, + empty all, except for stray articles of ancient furniture, she exclaimed, + as she entered one, and, taking the candle from my hand, held it above her + head— + </p> + <p> + “Ah, yes! I am right at last. This is the haunted room. I know my way + now.” + </p> + <p> + I caught a darkling glimpse of a large room, apparently quite furnished; + but how, except from the general feeling of antiquity and mustiness, I + could not tell. Little did I think then what memories—old, now, like + the ghosts that with them haunt the place—would ere long find their + being and take their abode in that ancient room, to forsake it never more. + In strange, half-waking moods, I seem to see the ghosts and the memories + flitting together through the spectral moonlight, and weaving mystic + dances in and out of the storied windows and the tapestried walls. + </p> + <p> + At the door of this room she said, “I must leave you here. I will put down + the light a little further on, and you can come for it. I owe you many + thanks. You will not be afraid of being left so near the haunted room?” + </p> + <p> + I assured her that at present I felt strong enough to meet all the ghosts + in or out of Hades. Turning, she smiled a sad, sweet smile, then went on a + few paces, and disappeared. The light, however, remained; and I found the + candle, with my plaid, deposited at the foot of a short flight of steps, + at right angles to the passage she left me in. I made my way back to my + room, threw myself on the couch on which she had so lately lain, and + neither went to bed nor slept that night. Before the morning, I had fully + entered that phase of individual development commonly called <i>love</i>, + of which the real nature is as great a mystery to me now, as it was at any + period previous to its evolution in myself. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X. <i>Love and Power</i>. + </h2> + <p> + When the morning came, I began to doubt whether my wakefulness had not + been part of my dream, and I had not dreamed the whole of my supposed + adventures. There was no sign of a lady’s presence left in the room.—How + could there have been?—But throwing the plaid which covered me + aside, my hand was caught by a single thread of something so fine that I + could not see it till the light grew strong. I wound it round and round my + finger, and doubted no longer. + </p> + <p> + At breakfast there was no Lady Alice—nor at dinner. I grew uneasy, + but what could I do? I soon learned that she was ill; and a weary + fortnight passed before I saw her again. Mrs. Wilson told me that she had + caught cold, and was confined to her room. So I was ill at ease, not from + love alone, but from anxiety as well. Every night I crept up through the + deserted house to the stair where she had vanished, and there sat in the + darkness or groped and peered about for some sign. But I saw no light + even, and did not know where her room was. It might be far beyond this + extremity of my knowledge; for I discovered no indication of the proximity + of the inhabited portion of the house. Mrs. Wilson said there was nothing + serious the matter; but this did not satisfy me, for I imagined something + mysterious in the way in which she spoke. + </p> + <p> + As the days went on, and she did not appear, my soul began to droop within + me; my intellect seemed about to desert me altogether. In vain I tried to + read. Nothing could fix my attention. I read and re-read the same page; + but although I understood every word as I read, I found when I came to a + pause, that there lingered in my mind no palest notion of the idea. It was + just what one experiences in attempting to read when half-asleep. + </p> + <p> + I tried Euclid, and fared a little better with that. But having now to + initiate my boys into the mysteries of equations, I soon found that + although I could manage a very simple one, yet when I attempted one more + complex—one in which something bordering upon imagination was + necessary to find out the object for which to appoint the symbol to handle + it by—the necessary power of concentration was itself a missing + factor. + </p> + <p> + But although my thoughts were thus beyond my control, my duties were not + altogether irksome to me. I remembered that they kept me near her; and + although I could not learn, I found that I could teach a little. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps it is foolish to dwell upon an individual variety of an almost + universal stage in the fever of life; but one exception to these + indications of mental paralysis I think worth mentioning. + </p> + <p> + I continued my work in the library, although it did not advance with the + same steadiness as before. One day, in listless mood, I took up a volume, + without knowing what it was, or what I sought. It opened at the <i>Amoretti</i> + of Edmund Spenser. I was on the point of closing it again, when a line + caught my eye. I read the sonnet; read another; found I could understand + them perfectly; and that hour the poetry of the sixteenth century, + hitherto a sealed fountain, became an open well of refreshment, and the + strength that comes from sympathy. What if its second-rate writers were + full of conceits and vagaries, the feelings are very indifferent to the + mere intellectual forms around which the same feelings in others have + gathered, if only by their means they hint at, and sometimes express + themselves. Now I understood this old fantastic verse, and knew that the + foam-bells on the torrent of passionate feeling are iris-hued. And what + was more—it proved an intellectual nexus between my love and my + studies, or at least a bridge by which I could pass from the one to the + other. + </p> + <p> + That same day, I remember well, Mrs. Wilson told me that Lady Alice was + much better. But as days passed, and still she did not make her + appearance, my anxiety only changed its object, and I feared that it was + from aversion to me that she did not join the family. But her name was + never mentioned in my hearing by any of the other members of it; and her + absence appeared to be to them a matter of no moment or interest. + </p> + <p> + One night, as I sat in my room, I found, as usual, that it was impossible + to read; and throwing the book aside, relapsed into that sphere of thought + which now filled my soul, and had for its centre the Lady Alice. I + recalled her form as she lay on the couch, and brooded over the + remembrance till a longing to see her, almost unbearable, arose within me. + </p> + <p> + “Would to heaven,” I said to myself, “that will were power!” + </p> + <p> + In this concurrence of idleness, distraction, and vehement desire, I found + all at once, without any foregone resolution, that I was concentrating and + intensifying within me, until it rose almost to a command, the operative + volition that Lady Alice should come to me. In a moment more I trembled at + the sense of a new power which sprang into conscious being within me. I + had had no prevision of its existence, when I gave way to such extravagant + and apparently helpless wishes. I now actually awaited the fulfilment of + my desire; but in a condition ill-fitted to receive it, for the effort had + already exhausted me to such a degree, that every nerve was in a conscious + tremor. Nor had I long to wait. + </p> + <p> + I heard no sound of approach: the closet-door folded back, and in glided, + open-eyed, but sightless pale as death, and clad in white, ghostly-pure + and saint-like, the Lady Alice. I shuddered from head to foot at what I + had done. She was more terrible to me in that moment than any pale-eyed + ghost could have been. For had I not exercised a kind of necromantic art, + and roused without awaking the slumbering dead? She passed me, walking + round the table at which I was seated, went to the couch, laid herself + down with a maidenly care, turned a little on one side, with her face + towards me, and gradually closed her eyes. In something deeper than sleep + she lay, and yet not in death. I rose, and once more knelt beside her, but + dared not touch her. In what far realms of life might the lovely soul be + straying! What mysterious modes of being might now be the homely + surroundings of her second life! Thoughts unutterable rose in me, + culminated, and sank, like the stars of heaven, as I gazed on the present + symbol of an absent life—a life that I loved by means of the symbol; + a symbol that I loved because of the life. How long she lay thus, how long + I gazed upon her thus, I do not know. Gradually, but without my being able + to distinguish the gradations, her countenance altered to that of one who + sleeps. But the change did not end there. A colour, faint as the blush in + the centre of a white rose, tinged her lips, and deepened; then her cheek + began to share in the hue, then her brow and her neck. The colour was that + of the cloud which, the farthest from the sunset, yet acknowledges the + rosy atmosphere. I watched, as it were, the dawn of a soul on the horizon + of the visible. The first approaches of its far-off flight were manifest; + and as I watched, I saw it come nearer and nearer, till its great, silent, + speeding pinions were folded, and it looked forth, a calm, beautiful, + infinite woman, from the face and form sleeping before me. + </p> + <p> + I knew that she was awake, some moments before she opened her eyes. When + at last those depths of darkness disclosed themselves, slowly uplifting + their white cloudy portals, the same consternation she had formerly + manifested, accompanied by yet greater anger, followed. + </p> + <p> + “Yet again! Am I your slave, because I am weak?” She rose in the majesty + of wrath, and moved towards the door. + </p> + <p> + “Lady Alice, I have not touched you. I am to blame, but not as you think. + Could I help longing to see you? And if the longing passed, ere I was + aware, into a will that you should come, and you obeyed it, forgive me.” + </p> + <p> + I hid my face in my hands, overcome by conflicting emotions. A kind of + stupor came over me. When I lifted my head, she was standing by the + closet-door. + </p> + <p> + “I have waited,” she said, “to make a request of you.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not utter it, Lady Alice. I know what it is. I give you my word—my + solemn promise, if you like—that I will never do it again.” She + thanked me, with a smile, and vanished. + </p> + <p> + Much to my surprise, she appeared at dinner next day. No notice was taken + of her, except by the younger of my pupils, who called out,— + </p> + <p> + “Hallo, Alice! Are you down?” + </p> + <p> + She smiled and nodded, but did not speak. Everything went on as usual. + There was no change in her behaviour, except in one point. I ventured the + experiment of paying her some ordinary enough attention. She thanked me, + without a trace of the scornful expression I all but expected to see upon + her beautiful face. But when I addressed her about the weather, or + something equally interesting, she made no reply; and Lady Hilton gave me + a stare, as much as to say, “Don’t you know it’s of no use to talk to + her?” Alice saw the look, and colouring to the eyes, rose, and left the + room. When she had gone, Lady Hilton said to me,— + </p> + <p> + “Don’t speak to her, Mr. Campbell—it distresses her. She is very + peculiar, you know.” + </p> + <p> + She could not hide the scorn and dislike with which she spoke; and I could + not help saying to myself, “What a different thing scorn looks on <i>your</i> + face, Lady Hilton!” for it made her positively and hatefully ugly for the + moment—to my eyes, at least. + </p> + <p> + After this, Alice sat down with us at all our meals, and seemed tolerably + well. But, in some indescribable way, she was quite a different person + from the Lady Alice who had twice awaked in my presence. To use a phrase + common in describing one of weak intellect—she never seemed to be + all there. There was something automatical in her movements; and a sort of + frozen indifference was the prevailing expression of her countenance. When + she smiled, a sweet light shone in her eyes, and she looked for the moment + like the Lady Alice of my nightly dreams. But, altogether, the Lady Alice + of the night, and the Lady Alice of the day, were two distinct persons. I + believed that the former was the real one. + </p> + <p> + What nights I had now, watching and striving lest unawares I should fall + into the exercise of my new power! I allowed myself to think of her as + much as I pleased in the daytime, or at least as much as I dared; for when + occupied with my pupils, I dreaded lest any abstraction should even hint + that I had a thought to conceal. I knew that I could not hurt her then; + for that only in the night did she enter that state of existence in which + my will could exercise authority over her. But at night—at night—when + I knew she lay there, and might be lying here; when but a thought would + bring her, and that thought was fluttering its wings, ready to spring + awake out of the dreams of my heart—then the struggle was fearful. + And what added force to the temptation was, that to call her to me in the + night, seemed like calling the real immortal Alice forth from the tomb in + which she wandered about all day. It was as painful to me to see her such + in the day, as it was entracing to remember her such as I had seen her in + the night. What matter if her true self came forth in anger against me? + What was I? It was enough for my life, I said, to look on her, such as she + really was. “Bring her yet once, and tell her all—tell her how + madly, hopelessly you love her. She will forgive you at least,” said a + voice within me. But I heard it as the voice of the tempter, and kept down + the thought which might have grown to the will. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI. <i>A New Pupil</i>. + </h2> + <p> + One day, exactly three weeks after her last visit to my room, as I was + sitting with my three pupils in the schoolroom, Lady Alice entered, and + began to look on the bookshelves as if she wanted some volume. After a few + moments, she turned, and, approaching the table, said to me, in an abrupt, + yet hesitating way. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Campbell, I cannot spell. How am I to learn?” + </p> + <p> + I thought for a moment, and replied: “Copy a passage every day, Lady + Alice, from some favourite book. Then, if you allow me, I shall be most + happy to point out any mistakes you may have made.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, Mr. Campbell, I will; but I am afraid you will despise me, + when you find how badly I spell.” + </p> + <p> + “There is no fear of that,” I rejoined. “It is a mere peculiarity. So long + as one can <i>think</i> well, spelling is altogether secondary.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you; I will try,” she said, and left the room. Next day, she + brought me an old ballad, written tolerably, but in a school-girl’s hand. + She had copied the antique spelling, letter for letter. + </p> + <p> + “This is quite correct,” I said; “but to copy such as this will not teach + you properly; for it is very old, and consequently old-fashioned.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it old? Don’t we spell like that now? You see I do not know anything + about it. You must set me a task, then.” + </p> + <p> + This I undertook with more pleasure than I dared to show. Every day she + brought me the appointed exercise, written with a steadily improving hand. + To my surprise, I never found a single error in the spelling. Of course, + when, advancing a step in the process, I made her write from my dictation, + she did make blunders, but not so many as I had expected; and she seldom + repeated one after correction. + </p> + <p> + This new association gave me many opportunities of doing more for her than + merely teaching her to spell. We talked about what she copied; and I had + to explain. I also told her about the writers. Soon she expressed a desire + to know something of figures. We commenced arithmetic. I proposed geometry + along with it, and found the latter especially fitted to her powers. One + by one we included several other necessary branches; and ere long I had + four around the schoolroom table—equally my pupils. Whether the + attempts previously made to instruct her had been insufficient or + misdirected, or whether her intellectual powers had commenced a fresh + growth, I could not tell; but I leaned to the latter conclusion, + especially after I began to observe that her peculiar remarks had become + modified in form, though without losing any of their originality. The + unearthliness of her beauty likewise disappeared, a slight colour + displacing the almost marbly whiteness of her cheek. + </p> + <p> + Long before Lady Alice had made this progress, my nightly struggles began + to diminish in violence. They had now entirely ceased. The temptation had + left me. I felt certain that for weeks she had never walked in her sleep. + She was beyond my power, and I was glad of it. + </p> + <p> + I was, of course, most careful of my behaviour during all this period. I + strove to pay Lady Alice no more attention than I paid to the rest of my + pupils; and I cannot help thinking that I succeeded. But now and then, in + the midst of some instruction I was giving Lady Alice, I caught the eye of + Lady Lucy, a sharp, common-minded girl, fixed upon one or the other of us, + with an inquisitive vulgar expression, which I did not like. This made me + more careful still. I watched my tones, to keep them even, and free from + any expression of the feeling of which my heart was full. Sometimes, + however, I could not help revealing the gratification I felt when she made + some marvellous remark—marvellous, I mean, in relation to her other + attainments; such a remark as a child will sometimes make, showing that he + has already mastered, through his earnest simplicity, some question that + has for ages perplexed the wise and the prudent. On one of these + occasions, I found the cat eyes of Lady Lucy glittering on me. I turned + away; not, I fear, without showing some displeasure. + </p> + <p> + Whether it was from Lady Lucy’s evil report, or that the change in Lady + Alice’s habits and appearance had attracted the attention of Lady Hilton, + I cannot tell; but one morning she appeared at the door of the study, and + called her. Lady Alice rose and went, with a slight gesture of impatience. + In a few minutes she returned, looking angry and determined, and resumed + her seat. But whatever it was that had passed between them, it had + destroyed that quiet flow of the feelings which was necessary to the + working of her thoughts. In vain she tried: she could do nothing + correctly. At last she burst into tears and left the room. I was almost + beside myself with distress and apprehension. She did not return that day. + </p> + <p> + Next morning she entered at the usual hour, looking composed, but paler + than of late, and showing signs of recent weeping. When we were all + seated, and had just commenced our work, I happened to look up, and caught + her eyes intently fixed on me. They dropped instantly, but without any + appearance of confusion. She went on with her arithmetic, and succeeded + tolerably. But this respite was to be of short duration. Lady Hilton again + entered, and called her. She rose angrily, and my quick ear caught the + half-uttered words, “That woman will make an idiot of me again!” She did + not return; and never from that hour resumed her place in the schoolroom. + </p> + <p> + The time passed heavily. At dinner she looked proud and constrained; and + spoke only in monosyllables. + </p> + <p> + For two days I scarcely saw her. But the third day, as I was busy in the + library alone, she entered. + </p> + <p> + “Can I help you, Mr. Campbell?” she said. + </p> + <p> + I glanced involuntarily towards the door. + </p> + <p> + “Lady Hilton is not at home,” she replied to my look, while a curl of + indignation contended with a sweet tremor of shame for the possession of + her lip.—“Let me help you.” + </p> + <p> + “You will help me best if you sing that ballad I heard you singing just + before you came in. I never heard you sing before.” + </p> + <p> + “Didn’t you? I don’t think I ever did sing before.” + </p> + <p> + “Sing it again, will you, please?” + </p> + <p> + “It is only two verses. My old Scotch nurse used to sing it when I was a + little girl-oh, so long ago! I didn’t know I could sing it.” + </p> + <p> + She began without more ado, standing in the middle of the room, with her + back towards the door. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Annie was dowie, an’ Willie was wae: + What can be the matter wi’ siccan a twae? + For Annie was bonnie’s the first o’ the day, + And Willie was strang an’ honest an’ gay. + + Oh! the tane had a daddy was poor an’ was proud; + An’ the tither a minnie that cared for the gowd. + They lo’ed are anither, an’ said their say— + But the daddy an’ minnie hae pairtit the twae. +</pre> + <p> + Just as she finished the song, I saw the sharp eyes of Lady Lucy peeping + in at the door. + </p> + <p> + “Lady Lucy is watching at the door, Lady Alice,” I said. + </p> + <p> + “I don’t care,” she answered; but turned with a flush on her face, and + stepped noiselessly to the door. + </p> + <p> + “There is no one there,” she said, returning. + </p> + <p> + “There was, though,” I answered. + </p> + <p> + “They want to drive me mad,” she cried, and hurried from the room. + </p> + <p> + The next day but one, she came again with the same request. But she had + not been a minute in the library before Lady Hilton came to the door and + called her in angry tones. + </p> + <p> + “Presently,” replied Alice, and remained where she was. + </p> + <p> + “Do go, Lady Alice,” I said. “They will send me away if you refuse.” + </p> + <p> + She blushed scarlet, and went without another word. + </p> + <p> + She came no more to the library. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII. <i>Confession</i>. + </h2> + <p> + Day followed day, the one the child of the other. Alice’s old paleness and + unearthly look began to reappear; and, strange to tell, my midnight + temptation revived. After a time she ceased to dine with us again, and for + days I never saw her. It was the old story of suffering with me, only more + intense than before. The day was dreary, and the night stormy. “Call her,” + said my heart; but my conscience resisted. + </p> + <p> + I was lying on the floor of my room one midnight, with my face to the + ground, when suddenly I heard a low, sweet, strange voice singing + somewhere. The moment I became aware that I heard it I felt as if I had + been listening to it unconsciously for some minutes past. I lay still, + either charmed to stillness, or fearful of breaking the spell. As I lay, I + was lapt in the folds of a waking dream. + </p> + <p> + I was in bed in a castle, on the seashore; the wind came from the sea in + chill <i>eerie soughs</i>, and the waves fell with a threatful tone upon + the beach, muttering many maledictions as they rushed up, and whispering + cruel portents as they drew back, hissing and gurgling, through the + million narrow ways of the pebbly ramparts; and I knew that a maiden in + white was standing in the cold wind, by the angry sea, singing. I had a + kind of dreamy belief in my dream; but, overpowered by the spell of the + music, I still lay and listened. Keener and stronger, under the impulses + of my will, grew the power of my hearing. At last I could distinguish the + words. The ballad was <i>Annie of Lochroyan;</i> and Lady Alice was + singing it. The words I heard were these:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Oh, gin I had a bonnie ship, + And men to sail wi’ me, + It’s I wad gang to my true love, + Sin’ he winna come to me. + + Lang stood she at her true love’s door, + And lang tirled at the pin; + At length up gat his fause mother, + Says, “Wha’s that wad be in?” + +</pre> + <hr /> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Love Gregory started frae his sleep, + And to his mother did say: + “I dreamed a dream this night, mither, + That maks my heart right wae. + + “I dreamed that Annie of Lochroyan, + The flower of a’ her kin, + Was standing mournin’ at my door, + But nane wad let her in.” + </pre> + <p> + I sprang to my feet, and opened the hidden door. There she stood, white, + asleep, with closed eyes, singing like a bird, only with a heartful of sad + meaning in every tone. I stepped aside, without speaking, and she passed + me into the room. I closed the door, and followed her. She lay already + upon the couch, still and restful—already covered with my plaid. I + sat down beside her, waiting; and gazed upon her in wonderment. That she + was possessed of very superior intellectual powers, whatever might be the + cause of their having lain dormant so long, I had already fully convinced + myself; but I was not prepared to find art as well as intellect. I had + already heard her sing the little song of two verses, which she had + learned from her nurse. But here was a song, of her own making as to the + music, so true and so potent, that, before I knew anything of the words, + it had surrounded me with a dream of the place in which the scene of the + ballad was laid. It did not then occur to me that, perhaps, our + idiosyncrasies were such as not to require even the music of the ballad + for the production of <i>rapport</i> between our minds, the brain of the + one generating in the brain of the other the vision present to itself. + </p> + <p> + I sat and thought:—Some obstruction in the gateways, outward, + prevented her, in her waking hours, from uttering herself at all. This + obstruction, damming back upon their sources the out-goings of life, threw + her into this abnormal sleep. In it the impulse to utterance, still + unsatisfied, so wrought within her unable, yet compliant form, that she + could not rest, but rose and walked. And now, a fresh surge from the sea + of her unknown being, unrepressed by the <i>hitherto</i> of the objects of + sense, had burst the gates and bars, swept the obstructions from its + channel, and poured from her in melodious song. + </p> + <p> + The first green lobes, at least, of these thoughts, appeared above the + soil of my mind, while I sat and gazed on the sleeping girl. And now I had + once more the delight of watching a spirit-dawn, a soul-rise, in that + lovely form. The light flushing of its pallid sky was, as before, the + first sign. I dreaded the flash of lovely flame, and the outburst of + regnant anger, ere I should have time to say that I was not to blame. But + when, at length, the full dawn, the slow sunrise came, it was with all the + gentleness of a cloudy summer morn. Never did a more celestial rosy red + hang about the skirts of the level sun, than deepened and glowed upon her + face, when, opening her eyes, she saw me beside her. She covered her face + with her hands; and instead of the words of indignant reproach which I + dreaded to hear, she murmured behind the snowy screen: “I am glad you have + broken your promise.” + </p> + <p> + My heart gave a bound and was still. I grew faint with delight. “No,” I + said; “I have not broken my promise, Lady Alice; I have struggled nearly + to madness to keep it—and I have kept it.” + </p> + <p> + “I have come then of myself. Worse and worse! But it is their fault.” + </p> + <p> + Tears now found their way through the repressing fingers. I could not + endure to see her weep. I knelt beside her, and, while she still covered + her face with her hands, I said—I do not know what I said. They were + wild, and, doubtless, foolish words in themselves, but they must have been + wise and true in their meaning. When I ceased, I knew that I had ceased + only by the great silence around me. I was still looking at her hands. + Slowly she withdrew them. It was as when the sun breaks forth on a cloudy + day. The winter was over and gone; the time of the singing of birds had + come. She smiled on me through her tears, and heart met heart in the light + of that smile. + </p> + <p> + She rose to go at once, and I begged for no delay. I only stood with + clasped hands, gazing at her. She turned at the door, and said; + </p> + <p> + “I daresay I shall come again; I am afraid I cannot help it; only mind you + do not wake me.” + </p> + <p> + Before I could reply, I was alone; and I felt that I must not follow her. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII. <i>Questioning</i>. + </h2> + <p> + I laid myself on the couch she had left, but not to sleep. A new pulse of + life, stronger than I could bear, was throbbing within me. I dreaded a + fever, lest I should talk in it, and drop the clue to my secret treasure. + But the light of the morning stilled me, and a bath in ice-cold water made + me strong again. Yet I felt all that day as if I were dying a delicious + death, and going to a yet more exquisite life. As far as I might, however, + I repressed all indications of my delight; and endeavoured, for the sake + both of duty and of prudence, to be as attentive to my pupils and their + studies as it was possible for man to be. This helped to keep me in my + right mind. But, more than all my efforts at composure, the pain which, as + far as my experience goes, invariably accompanies, and sometimes even + usurps, the place of the pleasure which gave it birth, was efficacious in + keeping me sane. + </p> + <p> + Night came, but brought no Lady Alice. It was a week before I saw her + again. Her heart had been stilled, and she was able to sleep aright. + </p> + <p> + But seven nights after, she did come. I waited her awaking, possessed with + one painful thought, which I longed to impart to her. She awoke with a + smile, covered her face for a moment, but only for a moment, and then sat + up. I stood before her; and the first words I spoke were: + </p> + <p> + “Lady Alice, ought I not to go?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” she replied at once. “I can claim some compensation from them for + the wrong they have been doing me. Do you know in what relation I stand to + Lord and Lady Hilton? They are but my stepmother and her husband.” + </p> + <p> + “I know that.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, I have a fortune of my own, about which I never thought or cared—till—till—within + the last few weeks. Lord Hilton is my guardian. Whether they made me the + stupid creature I <i>was,</i> I do not know; but I believe they have + represented me as far worse than I was, to keep people from making my + acquaintance. They prevented my going on with my lessons, because they saw + I was getting to understand things, and grow like other people; and that + would not suit their purposes. It would be false delicacy in you to leave + me to them, when you can make up to me for their injustice. Their + behaviour to me takes away any right they had over me, and frees you from + any obligation, because I am yours.—Am I not?” + </p> + <p> + Once more she covered her face with her hands. I could answer only by + withdrawing one of them, which I <i>was</i> now emboldened to keep in my + own. + </p> + <p> + I was very willingly persuaded to what was so much my own desire. But + whether the reasoning was quite just or not, I am not yet sure. Perhaps it + might be so for her, and yet not for me: I do not know; I am a poor + casuist. + </p> + <p> + She resumed, laying her other hand upon mine:— + </p> + <p> + “It would be to tell the soul which you have called forth, to go back into + its dark moaning cavern, and never more come out to the light of day.” + </p> + <p> + How could I resist this? + </p> + <p> + A long pause ensued. + </p> + <p> + “It is strange,” she said, at length, “to feel, when I lie down at night, + that I may awake in your presence, without knowing how. It is strange, + too, that, although I should be utterly ashamed to come wittingly, I feel + no confusion when I find myself here. When I feel myself coming awake, I + lie for a little while with my eyes closed, wondering and hoping, and + afraid to open them, lest I should find myself only in my own chamber; + shrinking a little, too—just a little—from the first glance + into your face.” + </p> + <p> + “But when you awake, do you know nothing of what has taken place in your + sleep?” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing whatever.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you no vague sensations, no haunting shadows, no dim ghostly moods, + seeming to belong to that condition, left?” + </p> + <p> + “None whatever.” + </p> + <p> + She rose, said “Good-night,” and left me. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV. <i>Jealousy.</i> + </h2> + <p> + Again seven days passed before she revisited me. Indeed, her visits had + always an interval of seven days, or a multiple of seven, between. + </p> + <p> + Since the last, a maddening jealousy had seized me. For, returning from + those unknown regions into which her soul had wandered away, and where she + had stayed for hours, did she not sometimes awake with a smile? How could + I be sure that she did not lead two distinct existences?—that she + had not some loving spirit, or man, who, like her, had for a time left the + body behind—who was all in all to her in that region, and whom she + forgot when she forsook it, as she forgot me when she entered it? It was a + thought I could not brook. But I put aside its persistency as well as I + could, till she should come again. For this I waited. I could not now + endure the thought of compelling the attendance of her unconscious form; + of making her body, like a living cage, transport to my presence the + unresisting soul. I shrank from it as a true man would shrink from kissing + the lips of a sleeping woman whom he loved, not knowing that she loved him + in return. + </p> + <p> + It may well be said that to follow such a doubt was to inquire too + curiously; but once the thought had begun, and grown, and been born, how + was I to slay the monster, and be free of its hated presence? Was its + truth not a possibility?—Yet how could even she help me, for she + knew nothing of the matter? How could she vouch for the unknown? What news + can the serene face of the moon, ever the same to us, give of the hidden + half of herself turned ever towards what seems to us but the blind abysmal + darkness, which yet has its own light and its own life? All I could hope + for was to see her, to tell her, to be comforted at least by her smile. + </p> + <p> + My saving angel glided blind into my room, lay down upon her bier, and + awaited the resurrection. I sat and awaited mine, panting to untwine from + my heart the cold death-worm that twisted around it, yet picturing to + myself the glow of love on the averted face of the beautiful spirit—averted + from me, and bending on a radiant companion all the light withdrawn from + the lovely form beside me. That light began to return. “She is coming, she + is coming,” I said within me. “Back from its glowing south travels the sun + of my spring, the glory of my summer.” Floating slowly up from the + infinite depths of her being, came the conscious woman; up—up from + the realms of stillness lying deeper than the plummet of self-knowledge + can sound; up from the formless, up into the known, up into the material, + up to the windows that look forth on the embodied mysteries around. Her + eyelids rose. One look of love all but slew my fear. When I told her my + grief, she answered with a smile of pity, yet half of disdain at the + thought. + </p> + <p> + “If ever I find it so, I will kill myself there, that I may go to my Hades + with you. But if I am dreaming of another, how is it that I always rise in + my vision and come to you? You will go crazy if you fancy such foolish + things,” she added, with a smile of reproof. + </p> + <p> + The spectral thought vanished, and I was free. + </p> + <p> + “Shall I tell you,” she resumed, covering her face with her hands, “why I + behaved so proudly to you, from the very first day you entered the house? + It was because, when I passed you on the lawn, before ever you entered the + house, I felt a strange, undefinable attraction towards you, which + continued, although I could not account for it and would not yield to it. + I was heartily annoyed at it. But you see it was of no use—here I + am. That was what made me so fierce, too, when I first found myself in + your room.” + </p> + <p> + It was indeed long before she came to my room again. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV. <i>The Chamber of Ghosts</i>. + </h2> + <p> + But now she returned once more into the usual routine of the family. I + fear I was unable to repress all signs of agitation when, next day, she + entered the dining-room, after we were seated, and took her customary + place at the table. Her behaviour was much the same as before; but her + face was very different. There was light in it now, and signs of mental + movement. The smooth forehead would be occasionally wrinkled, and she + would fall into moods which were evidently not of inanity, but of + abstracted thought. She took especial care that our eyes should not meet. + If by chance they did, instead of sinking hers, she kept them steady, and + opened them wider, as if she was fixing them on nothing at all, or she + raised them still higher, as if she was looking at something above me, + before she allowed them to fall. But the change in her altogether was such + that it must have attracted the notice and roused the speculation of Lady + Hilton at least. For me, so well did she act her part, that I was thrown + into perplexity by it. And when day after day passed, and the longing to + speak to her grew, and remained unsatisfied, new doubts arose. Perhaps she + was tired of me. Perhaps her new studies filled her mind with the clear, + gladsome morning light of the pure intellect, which always throws doubt + and distrust and a kind of negation upon the moonlight of passion, + mysterious, and mingled ever with faint shadows of pain. I walked as in an + unresting sleep. Utterly as I loved her, I was yet alarmed and distressed + to find how entirely my being had grown dependent upon her love; how + little of individual, self-existing, self-upholding life, I seemed to have + left; how little I cared for anything, save as I could associate it with + her. + </p> + <p> + I was sitting late one night in my room. I had all but given up hope of + her coming. I had, perhaps, deprived her of the somnambulic power. I was + brooding over this possibility, when all at once I felt as if I were + looking into the haunted room. It seemed to be lighted by the moon, + shining through the stained windows. The feeling came and went suddenly, + as such visions of places generally do; but this had an indescribable + something about it more clear and real than such resurrections of the + past, whether willed or unwilled, commonly possess; and a great longing + seized me to look into the room once more. I rose with a sense of yielding + to the irresistible, left the room, groped my way through the hall and up + the oak staircase—I had never thought of taking a light with me—and + entered the corridor. No sooner had I entered it, than the thought sprang + up in my mind—“What if she should be there!” My heart stood still + for a moment, like a wounded deer, and then bounded on, with a pang in + every bound. The corridor was night itself, with a dim, bluish-grey light + from the windows, sufficing to mark their own spaces. I stole through it, + and, without erring once, went straight to the haunted chamber. The door + stood half open. I entered, and was bewildered by the dim, mysterious, + dreamy loveliness upon which I gazed. The moon shone full upon the + windows, and a thousand coloured lights and shadows crossed and + intertwined upon the walls and floor, all so soft, and mingling, and + undefined, that the brain was filled as with a flickering dance of ghostly + rainbows. But I had little time to think of these; for out of the only + dark corner in the room came a white figure, flitting across the chaos of + lights, bedewed, besprinkled, bespattered, as she passed, with their + multitudinous colours. I was speechless, motionless, with something far + beyond joy. With a low moan of delight, Lady Alice sank into my arms. + Then, looking up, with a light laugh—“The scales are turned, dear,” + she said. “You are in my power now; I brought you here. I thought I could, + and I tried, for I wanted so much to see you—and you are come.” She + led me across the room to the place where she had been seated, and we sat + side by side. + </p> + <p> + “I thought you had forgotten me,” I said, “or had grown tired of me.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you? That was unkind. You have made my heart so still, that, body and + soul, I sleep at night.” + </p> + <p> + “Then shall I never see you more?” + </p> + <p> + “We can meet here. This is the best place. No one dares come near the + haunted room at night. We might even venture in the evening. Look, now, + from where we are sitting, across the air, between the windows and the + shadows on the floor. Do you see nothing moving?” + </p> + <p> + I looked, but could see nothing. She resumed:— + </p> + <p> + “I almost fancy, sometimes, that what old stories say about this room may + be true. I could fancy now that I see dim transparent forms in ancient + armour, and in strange antique dresses, men and women, moving about, + meeting, speaking, embracing, parting, coming and going. But I was never + afraid of such beings. I am sure these would not, could not hurt us.” + </p> + <p> + If the room was not really what it was well fitted to be—a + rendezvous for the ghosts of the past—then either my imagination, + becoming more active as she spoke, began to operate upon my brain, or her + fancies were mysteriously communicated to me; for I was persuaded that I + saw such dim undefined forms as she described, of a substance only denser + than the moonlight, flitting, and floating about, between the windows and + the illuminated floor. Could they have been coloured shadows thrown from + the stained glass upon the fine dust with which the slightest motion in + such an old and neglected room must fill its atmosphere? I did not think + of that then, however. + </p> + <p> + “I could persuade myself that I, too, see them,” I replied. “I cannot say + that I am afraid of such beings any more than you—if only they will + not speak.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” she replied, with a lengthened, meaning utterance, expressing + sympathy with what I said; “I know what you mean. I, too, am afraid of + hearing things. And that reminds me, I have never yet asked you about the + galloping horse. I too hear sometimes the sound of a loose horse-shoe. It + always betokens some evil to me; but I do not know what it means. Do you?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you know,” I rejoined, “that there is a connection between your family + and mine, somewhere far back in their histories?” + </p> + <p> + “No! Is there? How glad I am! Then perhaps you and I are related, and that + is how we are so much alike, and have power over each other, and hear the + same things.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes. I suppose that is how.” + </p> + <p> + “But can you account for that sound which we both hear?” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you what my old foster-mother told me,” I replied. And I + began by narrating when and where I had first heard the sound; and then + gave her, as nearly as I could, the legend which nurse had recounted to + me. I did not tell her its association with the events of my birth, for I + feared exciting her imagination too much. She listened to it very quietly, + however, and when I came to a close, only said: + </p> + <p> + “Of course, we cannot tell how much of it is true, but there may be + something in it. I have never heard anything of the sort, and I, too, have + an old nurse. She is with me still. You shall see her some day.” + </p> + <p> + She rose to go. + </p> + <p> + “Will you meet me here again soon?” I said. + </p> + <p> + “As soon as you wish,” she answered. + </p> + <p> + “Then to-morrow, at midnight?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + And we parted at the door of the haunted chamber. I watched the flickering + with which her whiteness just set the darkness in motion, and nothing + more, seeming to see it long after I knew she must have turned aside and + descended the steps leading towards her own room. Then I turned and groped + my way back to mine. + </p> + <p> + We often met after this in the haunted room. Indeed my spirit haunted it + all day and all night long. And when we met amid the shadows, we were + wrapped in the mantle of love, and from its folds looked out fearless on + the ghostly world about us. Ghosts or none, they never annoyed us. Our + love was a talisman, yea, an elixir of life, which made us equal to the + twice-born,—the disembodied dead. And they were as a wall of fear + about us, to keep far off the unfriendly foot and the prying eye. + </p> + <p> + In the griefs that followed, I often thought with myself that I would + gladly die for a thousand years, might I then awake for one night in the + haunted chamber, a ghost, among the ghosts who crowded its stained + moonbeams, and see my dead Alice smiling across the glimmering rays, and + beckoning me to the old nook, she, too, having come awake out of the sleep + of death, in the dream of the haunted chamber. “Might we but sit there,” I + said, “through the night, as of old, and love and comfort each other, till + the moon go down, and the pale dawn, which is the night of the ghosts, + begin to arise, then gladly would I go to sleep for another thousand + years, in the hope that when I next became conscious of life, it might be + in another such ghostly night, in the chamber of the ghosts.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI. <i>The Clanking Shoe</i>. + </h2> + <p> + Time passed. We began to feel very secure in that room, watched as it was + by the sleepless sentry, Fear. One night I ventured to take a light with + me. + </p> + <p> + “How nice to have a candle!” she said as I entered. “I hope they are all + in bed, though. It will drive some of them into fits if they see the + light.” + </p> + <p> + “I wanted to show you something I found in the library to-day.” + </p> + <p> + “What is it?” + </p> + <p> + I opened a book, and showed her a paper inside it, with some verses + written on it. + </p> + <p> + “Whose writing is that?” I asked. + </p> + <p> + “Yours, of course. As if I did not know your writing!” + </p> + <p> + “Will you look at the date?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Seventeen hundred and ninety-three.‘</i> You are making game of me, + Duncan. But the paper does look yellow and old.” + </p> + <p> + “I found it as you see it, in that book. It belonged to Lord Hilton’s + brother. The verses are a translation of part of the poem beside which + they lie—one by Von Salis, who died shortly before that date at the + bottom. I will read them to you, and then show you something else that is + strange about them. The poem is called <i>Psyche’s Sorrow.</i> Psyche + means the soul, Alice.” + </p> + <p> + “I remember. You told me about her before, you know.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Psyche’s sighing all her prison darkens; + She is moaning for the far-off stars; + Fearing, hoping, every sound she hearkens— + Fate may now be breaking at her bars. + + Bound, fast bound, are Psyche’s airy pinions: + High her heart, her mourning soft and low— + Knowing that in sultry pain’s dominions + Grow the palms that crown the victor’s brow; + + That the empty hand the wreath encloses; + Earth’s cold winds but make the spirit brave; + Knowing that the briars bear the roses, + Golden flowers the waste deserted grave. + + In the cypress-shade her myrtle groweth; + Much she loves, because she much hath borne; + Love-led, through the darksome way she goeth— + On to meet him in the breaking morn. + + She can bear—” + </pre> + <p> + “Here the translation ceases, you see; and then follows the date, with the + words in German underneath it—‘How weary I am!’ Now what is strange, + Alice, is, that this date is the very month and year in which I was born.” + </p> + <p> + She did not reply to this with anything beyond a mere assent. Her mind was + fixed on the poem itself. She began to talk about it, and I was surprised + to find how thoroughly she entered into it and understood it. She seemed + to have crowded the growth of a lifetime into the last few months. At + length I told her how unhappy I had felt for some time, at remaining in + Lord Hilton’s house, as matters now were. + </p> + <p> + “Then you must go,” she said, quite quietly. + </p> + <p> + This troubled me. + </p> + <p> + “You do not mind it?” + </p> + <p> + “No. I shall be very glad.” + </p> + <p> + “Will you go with me?” I asked, perplexed. + </p> + <p> + “Of course I will.” + </p> + <p> + I did not know what to say to this, for I had no money, and of course I + should have none of my salary. She divined at once the cause of my + hesitation. + </p> + <p> + “I have a diamond bracelet in my room,” she said, with a smile, “and a few + guineas besides.” + </p> + <p> + “How shall we get away?” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing is easier. My old nurse, whom I mentioned to you before, lives at + the lodge gate.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! I know her very well,” I interrupted. “But she’s not Scotch?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed she is. But she has been with our family almost all her life. I + often go to see her, and sometimes stay all night with her. You can get a + carriage ready in the village, and neither of us will be missed before + morning.” + </p> + <p> + I looked at her in renewed surprise at the decision of her invention. She + covered her face, as she seldom did now, but went on: + </p> + <p> + “We can go to London, where you will easily find something to do. Men + always can there. And when I come of age—” + </p> + <p> + “Alice, how old are you?” I interrupted. + </p> + <p> + “Nineteen,” she answered. “By the way,” she resumed, “when I think of it—how + odd!—that”—pointing to the date on the paper—“is the + very month in which I too was born.” + </p> + <p> + I was too much surprised to interrupt her, and she continued: + </p> + <p> + “I never think of my age without recalling one thing about my birth, which + nurse often refers to. She was going up the stair to my mother’s room, + when she happened to notice a bright star, not far from the new moon. As + she crossed the room with me in her arms, just after I was born, she saw + the same star almost on the tip of the opposite horn. My mother died a + week after. Who knows how different I might have been if she had lived!” + </p> + <p> + It was long before I spoke. The awful and mysterious thoughts roused in my + mind by the revelations of the day held me silent. At length I said, half + thinking aloud: + </p> + <p> + “Then you and I, Alice, were born the same hour, and our mothers died + together.” + </p> + <p> + Receiving no answer, I looked at her. She was fast asleep, and breathing + gentle, full breaths. She had been sitting for some time with her head + lying on my shoulder and my arm around her. I could not bear to wake her. + </p> + <p> + We had been in this position perhaps for half an hour, when suddenly a + cold shiver ran through me, and all at once I became aware of the far-off + gallop of a horse. It drew nearer. On and on it came—nearer and + nearer. Then came the clank of the broken shoe! + </p> + <p> + At the same moment, Alice started from her sleep and, springing to her + feet, stood an instant listening. Then crying out, in an agonised whisper,—“The + horse with the clanking shoe!” she flung her arms around me. Her face was + white as the spectral moon which, the moment I put the candle out, looked + in through a clear pane beside us; and she gazed fearfully, yet + wildly-defiant, towards the door. We clung to each other. We heard the + sound come nearer and nearer, till it thundered right up to the very door + of the room, terribly loud. It ceased. But the door was flung open, and + Lord Hilton entered, followed by servants with lights. + </p> + <p> + I have but a very confused remembrance of what followed. I heard a vile + word from the lips of Lord Hilton; I felt my fingers on his throat; I + received a blow on the head; and I seem to remember a cry of agony from + Alice as I fell. What happened next I do not know. + </p> + <p> + When I came to myself, I was lying on a wide moor, with the night wind + blowing about me. I presume that I had wandered thither in a state of + unconsciousness, after being turned out of the Hall, and that I had at + last fainted from loss of blood. I was unable to move for a long time. At + length the morning broke, and I found myself not far from the Hall. I + crept back, a mile or two, to the gates, and having succeeded in rousing + Alice’s old nurse, was taken in with many lamentations, and put to bed in + the lodge. I had a violent fever; and it was all the poor woman could do + to keep my presence a secret from the family at the Hall. + </p> + <p> + When I began to mend, my first question was about Alice. I learned, though + with some difficulty—for my kind attendant was evidently unwilling + to tell me all the truth—that Alice, too, had been very ill; and + that, a week before, they had removed her. But she either would not or + could not tell me where they had taken her. I believe she could not. Nor + do I know for certain to this day. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Blakesley offered me the loan of some of her savings to get me to + London. I received it with gratitude, and as soon as I was fit to travel, + made my way thither. Afraid for my reason, if I had no employment to keep + my thoughts from brooding on my helplessness, and so increasing my + despair, and determined likewise that my failure should not make me + burdensome to any one else, I enlisted in the Scotch Greys, before letting + any of my friends know where I was. Through the help of one already + mentioned in my story, I soon obtained a commission. From the field of + Waterloo, I rode into Brussels with a broken arm and a sabre-cut in the + head. + </p> + <p> + As we passed along one of the streets, through all the clang of iron-shod + hoofs on the stones around me, I heard the ominous clank. At the same + moment, I heard a cry. It was the voice of my Alice. I looked up. At a + barred window I saw her face; but it was terribly changed. I dropped from + my horse. As soon as I was able to move from the hospital, I went to the + place, and found it was a lunatic asylum. I was permitted to see the + inmates, but discovered no one resembling her. I do not now believe that + she was ever there. But I may be wrong. Nor will I trouble my reader with + the theories on which I sought to account for the vision. They will occur + to himself readily enough. + </p> + <p> + For years and years I know not whether she was alive or dead. I sought her + far and near. I wandered over England, France, and Germany, hopelessly + searching; listening at <i>tables-d’hôte</i>; lurking about mad-houses; + haunting theatres and churches; often, in wild regions, begging my way + from house to house; I did not find her. + </p> + <p> + Once I visited Hilton Hall. I found it all but deserted. I learned that + Mrs. Wilson was dead, and that there were only two or three servants in + the place. I managed to get into the house unseen, and made my way to the + haunted chamber. My feelings were not so keen as I had anticipated, for + they had been dulled by long suffering. But again I saw the moon shine + through those windows of stained glass. Again her beams were crowded with + ghosts. She was not amongst them. “My lost love!” I cried; and then, + rebuking myself, “No; she is not lost. They say that Time and Space exist + not, save in our thoughts. If so, then that which has been, is, and the + Past can never cease. She is mine, and I shall find her—what matters + it where, or when, or how? Till then, my soul is but a moon-lighted + chamber of ghosts; and I sit within, the dreariest of them all. When she + enters, it will be a home of love. And I wait—I wait.” + </p> + <p> + I sat and brooded over the Past, till I fell asleep in the phantom-peopled + night. And all the night long they were about me—the men and women + of the long past. And I was one of them. I wandered in my dreams over the + whole house, habited in a long old-fashioned gown, searching for one who + was Alice, and yet would be some one else. From room to room I wandered + till weary, and could not find her. At last, I gave up the search, and, + retreating to the library, shut myself in. There, taking down from the + shelf the volume of Von Salis, I tried hard to go on with the translation + of <i>Pysche’s Sorrow</i>, from the point where the student had left it, + thinking it, all the time, my own unfinished work. + </p> + <p> + When I woke in the morning, the chamber of ghosts, in which I had fallen + asleep, had vanished. The sun shone in through the windows of the library; + and on its dusty table lay Von Salis, open at <i>Pysche’s Trauer</i>. The + sheet of paper with the translation on it, was not there. I hastened to + leave the house, and effected my escape before the servants were astir. + </p> + <p> + Sometimes I condensed my whole being into a single intensity of will—that + she should come to me; and sustained it, until I fainted with the effort. + She did not come. I desisted altogether at last, for I bethought me that, + whether dead or alive, it must cause her torture not to be able to obey + it. + </p> + <p> + Sometimes I questioned my own sanity. But the thought of the loss of my + reason did not in itself trouble me much. What tortured me almost to the + madness it supposed was the possible fact, which a return to my right mind + might reveal—that there never had been a Lady Alice. What if I died, + and awoke from my madness, and found a clear blue air of life, a joyous + world of sunshine, a divine wealth of delight around and in me—but + no Lady Alice—she having vanished with all the other phantoms of a + sick brain! “Rather let me be mad still,” I said, “if mad I am; and so + dream on that I have been blessed. Were I to wake to such a heaven, I + would pray God to let me go and live the life I had but dreamed, with all + its sorrows, and all its despair, and all its madness, that when I died + again, I might know that such things had been, and could never be awaked + from, and left behind with the dream.” But I was not mad, any more than + Hamlet; though, like him, despair sometimes led me far along the way at + the end of which madness lies. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII. <i>The Physician.</i> + </h2> + <p> + I was now Captain Campbell, of the Scotch Greys, contriving to live on my + half pay, and thinking far more about the past than the present or the + future. My father was dead. My only brother was also gone, and the + property had passed into other hands. I had no fixed place of abode, but + went from one spot to another, as the whim seized me—sometimes + remaining months, sometimes removing next day, but generally choosing + retired villages about which I knew nothing. + </p> + <p> + I had spent a week in a small town on the borders of Wales, and intended + remaining a fortnight longer, when I was suddenly seized with a violent + illness, in which I lay insensible for three weeks. When I recovered + consciousness, I found that my head had been shaved, and that the + cicatrice of my old wound was occasionally very painful. Of late I have + suspected that I had some operation performed upon my skull during my + illness; but Dr. Ruthwell never dropped a hint to that effect. This was + the friend whom, when first I opened my seeing eyes, I beheld sitting by + my bedside, watching the effect of his last prescription. He was one of + the few in the profession, whose love of science and love of their fellows + combined, would be enough to chain them to the art of healing, + irrespective of its emoluments. He was one of the few, also, who see the + marvellous in all science, and, therefore, reject nothing merely because + the marvellous may seem to predominate in it. Yet neither would he accept + anything of the sort as fact, without the strictest use of every + experiment within his power, even then remaining often in doubt. This man + conferred honour by his friendship; and I am happy to think that before + many days of recovery had passed, we were friends indeed. But I lay for + months under his care before I was able to leave my bed. + </p> + <p> + He attributed my illness to the consequences of the sabre-cut, and my + recovery to the potency of the drugs he had exhibited. I attributed my + illness in great measure to the constant contemplation of my early + history, no longer checked by any regular employment; and my recovery in + equal measure to the power of his kindness and sympathy, helping from + within what could never have been reached from without. + </p> + <p> + He told me that he had often been greatly perplexed with my symptoms, + which would suddenly change in the most unaccountable manner, exhibiting + phases which did not, as far as his knowledge went, belong to any variety + of the suffering which gave the prevailing character to my ailment; and + after I had so far recovered as to render it safe to turn my regard more + particularly upon my own case, he said to me one day, + </p> + <p> + “You would laugh at me, Campbell, were I to confess some of the bother + this illness of yours has occasioned me; enough, indeed, to overthrow any + conceit I ever had in my own diagnosis.” + </p> + <p> + “Go on,” I answered; “I promise not to laugh.” + </p> + <p> + He little knew how far I should be from laughing. “In your case,” he + continued, “the <i>pathognomonic,</i> if you will excuse medical slang, + was every now and then broken by the intrusion of altogether foreign + symptoms.” + </p> + <p> + I listened with breathless attention. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, on several occasions, when, after meditating on your case till I + was worn out, I had fallen half asleep by your bedside, I came to myself + with the strangest conviction that I was watching by the bedside of a + woman.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank Heaven!” I exclaimed, starting up, “She lives still.” + </p> + <p> + I need not describe the doctor’s look of amazement, almost consternation; + for he thought a fresh access of fever was upon me, and I had already + begun to rave. For his reassurance, however, I promised to account fully + for my apparently senseless excitement; and that evening I commenced the + narrative which forms the preceeding part of this story. Long before I + reached its close, my exultation had vanished, and, as I wrote it for him, + it ended with the expressed conviction that she must be dead. Ere long, + however, the hope once more revived. While, however, the narrative was in + progress, I gave him a summary, which amounted to this:— + </p> + <p> + I had loved a lady—loved her still. I did not know where she was, + and had reason to fear that her mind had given way under the suffering of + our separation. Between us there existed, as well, the bond of a distant + blood relationship; so distant, that but for its probable share in the + production of another relationship of a very marvellous nature, it would + scarcely have been worth alluding to. This was a kind of psychological + attraction, which, when justified and strengthened by the spiritual + energies of love, rendered the immediate communication of certain + feelings, both mental and bodily, so rapid, that almost the consciousness + of the one existed for the time in the mental circumstances of the other. + Nay, so complete at times was the communication, that I even doubted her + testimony as to some strange correspondence in our past history on this + very ground, suspecting that, my memory being open to her retrospection, + she saw my story, and took it for her own. It was, therefore, easy for me + to account for Dr. Ruthwell’s scientific bewilderment at the symptoms I + manifested. + </p> + <p> + As my health revived, my hope and longing increased. But although I loved + Lady Alice with more entireness than even during the latest period of our + intercourse, a certain calm endurance had supervened, which rendered the + relief of fierce action no longer necessary to the continuance of a sane + existence. It was as if the concentrated orb of love had diffused itself + in a genial warmth through the whole orb of life, imparting fresh vitality + to many roots which had remained leafless in my being. For years the field + of battle was the only field that had borne the flower of delight; now + nature began to live again for me. + </p> + <p> + One day, the first on which I ventured to walk into the fields alone, I + was delighted with the multitude of the daisies peeping from the grass + everywhere—the first attempts of the earth, become conscious of + blindness, to open eyes, and see what was about and above her. Everything + is wonderful after the resurrection from illness. It is a resurrection of + all nature. But somehow or other I was not satisfied with the daisies. + They did not seem to me so lovely as the daisies I used to see when I was + a child. I thought with myself, “This is the cloud that gathers with life, + the dimness that passion and suffering cast over the eyes of the mind.” + That moment my gaze fell upon a single, solitary, red-tipped daisy. My + reasoning vanished, and my melancholy with it, slain by the red tips of + the lonely beauty. This was the kind of daisy I had loved as a child; and + with the sight of it, a whole field of them rushed back into my mind; a + field of my father’s where, throughout the multitude, you could not have + found a white one. My father was dead; the fields had passed into other + hands; but perhaps the red-tipped <i>gowans</i> were left. I must go and + see. At all events, the hill that overlooked the field would still be + there, and no change would have passed upon <i>it.</i> It would receive me + with the same familiar look as of old, still fronting the great mountain + from whose sides I had first heard the sound of that clanking horseshoe, + which, whatever might be said to account for it, had certainly had a + fearful connection with my joys and sorrows both. Did the ghostly rider + still haunt the place? or, if he did, should I hear again that sound of + coming woe? Whether or not, I defied him. I would not be turned from my + desire to see the old place by any fear of a ghostly marauder, whom I + should be only too glad to encounter, if there were the smallest chance of + coming off with the victory. + </p> + <p> + As soon as my friend would permit me, I set out for Scotland. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII. <i>Old Friends.</i> + </h2> + <p> + I made the journey by easy stages, chiefly on the back of a favourite + black horse, which had carried me well in several fights, and had come out + of them scarred, like his master, but sound in wind and limb. It was night + when I reached the village lying nearest to my birth place. + </p> + <p> + When I woke in the morning, I found the whole region filled with a white + mist, hiding the mountains around. Now and then a peak looked through, and + again retired into the cloudy folds. In the wide, straggling street, below + the window at which I had made them place my breakfast-table, a periodical + fair was being held; and I sat looking down on the gathering crowd, trying + to discover some face known to my childhood, and still to be recognized + through the veil which years must have woven across the features. When I + had finished my breakfast, I went down and wandered about among the + people. Groups of elderly men were talking earnestly; and young men and + maidens who had come to be <i>fee’d</i>, were joking and laughing. They + stared at the Sassenach gentleman, and, little thinking that he understood + every word they uttered, made their remarks upon him in no very subdued + tones. I approached a stall where a brown old woman was selling + gingerbread and apples. She was talking to a man with long, white locks. + Near them was a group of young people. One of them must have said + something about me; for the old woman, who had been taking stolen glances + at me, turned rather sharply towards them, and rebuked them for rudeness. + </p> + <p> + “The gentleman is no Sassenach,” she said. “He understands everything you + are saying.” + </p> + <p> + This was spoken in Gaelic, of course. I turned and looked at her with more + observance. She made me a courtesy, and said, in the same language: + </p> + <p> + “Your honour will be a Campbell, I’m thinking.” + </p> + <p> + “I am a Campbell,” I answered, and waited. + </p> + <p> + “Your honour’s Christian name wouldn’t be Duncan, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “It is Duncan,” I answered; “but there are many Duncan Campbells.” + </p> + <p> + “Only one to me, your honour; and that’s yourself. But you will not + remember me?” + </p> + <p> + I did not remember her. Before long, however, urged by her anxiety to + associate her Present with my Past, she enabled me to recall in her + time-worn features those of a servant in my father’s house when I was a + child. + </p> + <p> + “But how could you recollect me?” I said. + </p> + <p> + “I have often seen you since I left your father’s, sir. But it was really, + I believe, that I hear more about you than anything else, every day of my + life.” + </p> + <p> + “I do not understand you.” + </p> + <p> + “From old Margaret, I mean.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear old Margaret! Is she alive?” + </p> + <p> + “Alive and hearty, though quite bedridden. Why, sir, she must be within + near sight of a hundred.” + </p> + <p> + “Where does she live?” + </p> + <p> + “In the old cottage, sir. Nothing will make her leave it. The new laird + wanted to turn her out; but Margaret muttered something at which he grew + as white as his shirt, and he has never ventured across her threshold + again.” + </p> + <p> + “How do you see so much of her, though?” + </p> + <p> + “I never leave her, sir. She can’t wait on herself, poor old lady. And + she’s like a mother to me. Bless her! But your honour will come and see + her?” + </p> + <p> + “Of course I will. Tell her so when you go home.” + </p> + <p> + “Will you honour me by sleeping at my house, sir?” said the old man to + whom she had been talking. “My farm is just over the brow of the hill, you + know.” + </p> + <p> + I had by this time recognised him, and I accepted his offer at once. + </p> + <p> + “When may we look for you, sir?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “When shall you be home?” I rejoined. + </p> + <p> + “This afternoon, sir. I have done my business already.” + </p> + <p> + “Then I shall be with you in the evening, for I have nothing to keep me + here.” + </p> + <p> + “Will you take a seat in my gig?” + </p> + <p> + “No, thank you. I have my own horse with me. You can take him in too, I + dare say?” + </p> + <p> + “With pleasure, sir.” + </p> + <p> + We parted for the meantime. I rambled about the neighbourhood till it was + time for an early dinner. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX. <i>Old Constancy.</i> + </h2> + <p> + The fog cleared off; and, as the hills began to throw long, lazy shadows, + their only embraces across the wide valleys, I mounted and set out on the + ride of a few miles which should bring me to my old acquaintance’s + dwelling. + </p> + <p> + I lingered on the way. All the old places demanded my notice. They seemed + to say, “Here we are—waiting for you.” Many a tuft of harebells drew + me towards the roadside, to look at them and their children, the blue + butterflies, hovering over them; and I stopped to gaze at many a wild + rosebush, with a sunset of its own roses. The sun had set to me, before I + had completed half the distance. But there was a long twilight, and I knew + the road well. + </p> + <p> + My horse was an excellent walker, and I let him walk on, with the reins on + his neck; while I, lost in a dream of the past, was singing a song of my + own making, with which I often comforted my longing by giving it voice. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + The autumn winds are sighing + Over land and sea; + The autumn woods are dying + Over hill and lea; + And my heart is sighing, dying, + Maiden, for thee. + + The autumn clouds are flying + Homeless over me; + The homeless birds are crying + In the naked tree; + And my heart is flying, crying, + Maiden, to thee. + + My cries may turn to gladness, + And my flying flee; + My sighs may lose the sadness, + Yet sigh on in me; + All my sadness, all my gladness, + Maiden, lost in thee. +</pre> + <p> + I was roused by a heavy drop of rain upon my face. I looked up. A cool + wave of wind flowed against me. Clouds had gathered; and over the peak of + a hill to the left, the sky was very black. Old Constancy threw his head + up, as if he wanted me to take the reins, and let him step out. I + remembered that there used to be an awkward piece of road somewhere not + far in front, where the path, with a bank on the left side, sloped to a + deep descent on the right. If the road was as bad there as it used to be, + it would be better to pass it before it grew quite dark. So I took the + reins, and away went old Constancy. We had just reached the spot, when a + keen flash of lightning broke from the cloud overhead, and my horse + instantly stood stock-still, as if paralysed, with his nostrils turned up + towards the peak of the mountain. I sat as still as he, to give him time + to recover himself. But all at once, his whole frame was convulsed, as if + by an agony of terror. He gave a great plunge, and then I felt his muscles + swelling and knotting under me, as he rose on his hind legs, and went + backwards, with the scaur behind him. I leaned forward on his neck to + bring him down, but he reared higher and higher, till he stood bolt + upright, and it was time to slip off, lest he should fall upon me. I did + so; but my foot alighted upon no support. He had backed to the edge of the + shelving ground, and I fell, and went to the bottom. The last thing I was + aware of, was the thundering fall of my horse beside me. + </p> + <p> + When I came to myself, it was dark. I felt stupid and aching all over; but + I soon satisfied myself that no bones were broken. A mass of something lay + near me. It was poor Constancy. I crawled to him, laid my hand on his + neck, and called him by his name. But he made no answer in that gentle, + joyful speech—for it was speech in old Constancy—with which he + always greeted me, if only after an hour’s absence. I felt for his heart. + There was just a flutter there. He tried to lift his head, and gave a + little kick with one of his hind legs. In doing so, he struck a bit of + rock, and the clank of the iron made my flesh creep. I got hold of his leg + in the dark, and felt the shoe. <i>It was loose</i>. I felt his heart + again. The motion had ceased. I needed all my manhood to keep from crying + like a child; for my charger was my friend. How long I lay beside him, I + do not know; but, at length, I heard the sound of wheels coming along the + road. I tried to shout, and, in some measure, succeeded; for a voice, + which I recognised as that of my farmer-friend, answered cheerily. He was + shocked to discover that his expected guest was in such evil plight. It + was still dark, for the rain was falling heavily; but, with his + directions, I was soon able to take my seat beside him in the gig. He had + been unexpectedly detained, and was now hastening home with the hope of + being yet in time to welcome me. + </p> + <p> + Next morning, after the luxurious rest of a heather-bed, I found myself + not much the worse for my adventure, but heart-sore for the loss of my + horse. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX. <i>Margaret</i>. + </h2> + <p> + Early in the forenoon, I came in sight of the cottage of Margaret. It lay + unchanged, a grey, stone-fashioned hut, in the hollow of the + mountain-basin. I scrambled down the soft green brae, and soon stood + within the door of the cottage. There I was met and welcomed by Margaret’s + attendant. She led me to the bed where my old nurse lay. Her eyes were yet + undimmed by years, and little change had passed upon her countenance since + I parted with her on that memorable night. The moment she saw me, she + broke out into a passionate lamentation such as a mother might utter over + the maimed strength and disfigured beauty of her child. + </p> + <p> + “What ill has he done—my bairn—to be all night the sport of + the powers of the air and the wicked of the earth? But the day will dawn + for my Duncan yet, and a lovely day it will be!” + </p> + <p> + Then looking at me anxiously, she said, + </p> + <p> + “You’re not much the worse for last night, my bairn. But woe’s me! His + grand horse, that carried him so, that I blessed the beast in my prayers!” + </p> + <p> + I knew that no one could have yet brought her the news of my accident. + </p> + <p> + “You saw me fall, then, nurse?” I said. + </p> + <p> + “That I did,” she answered. “I see you oftener than you think. But there + was a time when I could hardly see you at all, and I thought you were + dead, my Duncan.” + </p> + <p> + I stooped to kiss her. She laid the one hand that had still the power of + motion upon my head, and dividing the hair, which had begun to be mixed + with grey, said: “Eh! The bonny grey hairs! My Duncan’s a man in spite of + them!” + </p> + <p> + She searched until she found the scar of the sabre-cut. + </p> + <p> + “Just where I thought to find it!” she said. “That was a terrible day; + worse for me than for you, Duncan.” + </p> + <p> + “You saw me <i>then!</i>” I exclaimed. + </p> + <p> + “Little do folks know,” she answered, “who think I’m lying here like a + live corpse in its coffin, what liberty my soul—and that’s just me—enjoys. + Little do they know what I see and hear. And there’s no witchcraft or + evil-doing in it, my boy; but just what the Almighty made me. Janet, here, + declares she heard the cry that I made, when this same cut, that’s no so + well healed yet, broke out in your bonny head. I saw no sword, only the + bursting of the blood from the wound. But sit down, my bairn, and have + something to eat after your walk. We’ll have time enough for speech.” + </p> + <p> + Janet had laid out the table with fare of the old homely sort, and I was a + boy once more as I ate the well-known food. Every now and then I glanced + towards the old face. Soon I saw that she was asleep. From her lips broke + murmured sounds, so partially connected that I found it impossible to + remember them; but the impression they left on my mind was something like + this, + </p> + <p> + “Over the water. Yes; it is a rough sea—green and white. But over + the water. There is a path for the pathless. The grass on the hill is long + and cool. Never horse came there. If they once sleep in that grass, no + harm can hurt them more. Over the water. Up the hill.” And then she + murmured the words of the psalm: “He that dwelleth in the secret place.” + </p> + <p> + For an hour I sat beside her. It was evidently a sweet, natural sleep, the + most wonderful sleep of all, mingled with many a broken dream-rainbow. I + rose at last, and, telling Janet that I would return in the evening, went + back to my quarters; for my absence from the mid-day meal would have been + a disappointment to the household. + </p> + <p> + When I returned to the cottage, I found Margaret only just awaked, and + greatly refreshed. I sat down beside her in the twilight, and the + following conversation began: + </p> + <p> + “You said, nurse, that, some time ago, you could not see me. Did you know + nothing about me all that time?” + </p> + <p> + “I took it to mean that you were ill, my dear. Shortly after you left us, + the same thing happened first; but I do not think you were ill then.” + </p> + <p> + “I should like to tell you all my story, dear Margaret,” I said, + conceiving a sudden hope of assistance from one who hovered so near the + unseen that she often flitted across the borders. “But would it tire you?” + </p> + <p> + “Tire me, my child!” she said, with sudden energy. “Did I not carry you in + my bosom, till I loved you more than the darling I had lost? Do I not + think about you and your fortunes, till, sitting there, you are no nearer + to me than when a thousand miles away? You do not know my love to you, + Duncan. I have lived upon it when, I daresay, you did not care whether I + was alive or dead. But that was all one to my love. When you leave me now, + I shall not care much. My thoughts will only return to their old ways. I + think the sight of the eyes is sometimes an intrusion between the heart + and its love.” + </p> + <p> + Here was philosophy, or something better, from the lips of an old Highland + seeress! For me, I felt it so true, that the joy of hearing her say so + turned, by a sudden metamorphosis, into freak. I pretended to rise, and + said: + </p> + <p> + “Then I had better go, nurse. Good-bye.” + </p> + <p> + She put out her one hand, with a smile that revealed her enjoyment of the + poor humour, and said, while she held me fast: + </p> + <p> + “Nay, nay, my Duncan. A little of the scarce is sometimes dearer to us + than much of the better. I shall have plenty of time to think about you + when I can’t see you, my boy.” And her philosophy melted away into tears, + that filled her two blue eyes. + </p> + <p> + “I was only joking,” I said. + </p> + <p> + “Do you need to tell me that?” she rejoined, smiling. “I am not so old as + to be stupid yet. But I want to hear your story. I am hungering to hear + it.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” I whispered, “I cannot speak about it before anyone else.” + </p> + <p> + “I will send Janet away. Janet, I want to talk to Mr. Campbell alone.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, Margaret,” answered Janet, and left the room. + </p> + <p> + “Will she listen?” I asked. + </p> + <p> + “She dares not,” answered Margaret, with a smile; “she has a terrible idea + of my powers.” + </p> + <p> + The twilight grew deeper; the glow of the peat-fire became redder; the old + woman lay still as death. And I told all the story of Lady Alice. My voice + sounded to myself as I spoke, not like my own, but like its echo from the + vault of some listening cave, or like the voices one hears beside as sleep + is slowly creeping over the sense. Margaret did not once interrupt me. + When I had finished she remained still silent, and I began to fear I had + talked her asleep. + </p> + <p> + “Can you help me?” I said. + </p> + <p> + “I think I can,” she answered. “Will you call Janet?” I called her. + </p> + <p> + “Make me a cup of tea, Janet. Will you have some tea with me, Duncan?” + </p> + <p> + Janet lighted a little lamp, and the tea was soon set out, with + “flour-scons” and butter. But Margaret ate nothing; she only drank her + tea, lifting her cup with her one trembling hand. When the remains of our + repast had been removed, she said:— + </p> + <p> + “Now, Janet, you can leave us; and on no account come into the room till + Mr. Campbell calls you. Take the lamp with you.” + </p> + <p> + Janet obeyed without a word of reply, and we were left once more alone, + lighted only by the dull glow of the fire. + </p> + <p> + The night had gathered cloudy and dark without, reminding me of that night + when she told me the story of the two brothers. But this time no storm + disturbed the silence of the night. As soon as Janet was gone, Margaret + said:— + </p> + <p> + “Will you take the pillow from under my head, Duncan, my dear?” + </p> + <p> + I did so, and she lay in an almost horizontal position. With the living + hand she lifted the powerless arm, and drew it across her chest, outside + the bed-clothes. Then she laid the other arm over it, and, looking up at + me, said:— + </p> + <p> + “Kiss me, my bairn; I need strength for what I am going to do for your + sake.” + </p> + <p> + I kissed her. + </p> + <p> + “There now!” she said, “I am ready. Good-bye. Whatever happens, do not + speak to me; and let no one come near me but yourself. It will be + wearisome for you, but it is for your sake, my Duncan. And don’t let the + fire out. Don’t leave me.” + </p> + <p> + I assured her I would attend to all she said. She closed her eyes, and lay + still. I went to the fire, and sat down in a high-backed arm-chair, to + wait the event.—There was plenty of fuel in the corner. I made up + the fire, and then, leaning back, with my eyes fixed on it, let my + thoughts roam at will. Where was my old nurse now? What was she seeing or + encountering? Would she meet our adversary? Would she be strong enough to + foil him? Was she dead for the time, although some bond rendered her + return from the regions of the dead inevitable?—But she might never + come back, and then I should have no tidings of the kind which I knew she + had gone to see, and which I longed to hear! + </p> + <p> + I sat thus for a long time. I had again replenished the fire—that is + all I know about the lapse of the time—when, suddenly, a kind of + physical repugnance and terror seized me, and I sat upright in my chair, + with every fibre of my flesh protesting against some—shall I call it + presence?—in its neighbourhood. But my real self repelled the + invading cold, and took courage for any contest that might be at hand. + Like Macbeth, I only inhabited trembling; <i>I</i> did not tremble. I had + withdrawn my gaze from the fire, and fixed it upon the little window, + about two feet square, at which the dark night looked in. Why or when I + had done so I knew not. + </p> + <p> + What I next relate, I relate only as what seemed to happen. I do not + altogether trust myself in the matter, and think I was subjected to a + delusion of some sort or other. My feelings of horror grew as I looked + through or rather at the window, till, notwithstanding all my resolution + and the continued assurance that nothing could make me turn my back on the + cause of the terror, I was yet so far <i>possessed</i> by a feeling I + could neither account for nor control, that I felt my hair rise upon my + head, as if instinct with individual fear of its own—the only + instance of the sort in my experience.—In such a condition, the + sensuous nerves are so easily operated upon, either from within or from + without, that all certainty ceases. + </p> + <p> + I saw two fiery eyes looking in at the window, huge, and wide apart. Next, + I saw the outline of a horse’s head, in which the eyes were set; and + behind, the dimmer outline of a man’s form seated on the horse. The + apparition faded and reappeared, just as if it retreated, and again rode + up close to the window. Curiously enough, I did not even fancy that I + heard any sound. Instinctively I felt for my sword, but there was no sword + there. And what would it have availed me? Probably I was in more need of a + soothing draught. But the moment I put my hand to the imagined sword-hilt, + a dim figure swept between me and the horseman, on my side of the window—a + tall, stately female form. She stood facing the window, in an attitude + that seemed to dare the further approach of a foe. How long she remained + thus, or he confronted her, I have no idea; for when <i>self</i>-consciousness + returned, I found myself still gazing at the window from which both + apparitions had vanished. Whether I had slept, or, from the relaxation of + mental tension, had only forgotten, I could not tell; but all fear had + vanished, and I proceeded at once to make up the sunken fire. Throughout + the time I am certain I never heard the clanking shoe, for that I should + have remembered. + </p> + <p> + The rest of the night passed without any disturbance; and when the first + rays of the early morning came into the room, they awoke me from a + comforting sleep in the arm-chair. I rose and approached the bed softly. + </p> + <p> + Margaret lay as still as death. But having been accustomed to similar + conditions in my Alice, I believed I saw signs of returning animation, and + withdrew to my seat. Nor was I mistaken; for, in a few minutes more, she + murmured my name. I hastened to her. + </p> + <p> + “Call Janet,” she said. + </p> + <p> + I opened the door, and called her. She came in a moment, looking at once + frightened and relieved. + </p> + <p> + “Get me some tea,” said Margaret once more. + </p> + <p> + After she had drunk the tea, she looked at me, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Go home now, Duncan, and come back about noon. Mind you go to bed.” + </p> + <p> + She closed her eyes once more. I waited till I saw her fast in an + altogether different sleep from the former, if sleep that could in any + sense be called. + </p> + <p> + As I went, I looked back on the vision of the night as on one of those + illusions to which the mind, busy with its own suggestions, is always + liable. The night season, simply because it excludes the external, is + prolific in such. The more of the marvellous any one may have experienced + in the course of his history, the more sceptical ought he to become, for + he is the more exposed to delusion. None have made more blunders in the + course of their revelations than genuine seers. Was it any wonder that, as + I sat at midnight beside the woman of a hundred years, who had voluntarily + died for a time that she might discover what most of all things it + concerned me to know, the ancient tale, on which, to her mind, my whole + history turned, and which she had herself told me in this very cottage, + should take visible shape to my excited brain and watching eyes? + </p> + <p> + I have one thing more to tell, which strengthens still further this view + of the matter. As I walked home, before I had gone many hundred yards from + the cottage, I suddenly came upon my own old Constancy. He was limping + about, picking the best grass he could find from among the roots of the + heather and cranberry bushes. He gave a start when I came upon him, and + then a jubilant neigh. + </p> + <p> + But he could not be so glad as I was. When I had taken sufficient pains to + let him know this fact, I walked on, and he followed me like a dog, with + his head at my heel; but as he limped much, I turned to examine him; and + found one cause of his lameness to be, that the loose shoe, which was a + hind one, was broken at the toe; and that one half, held only at the toe, + had turned round and was sticking right out, striking his forefoot every + time he moved. I soon remedied this, and he walked much better. + </p> + <p> + But the phenomena of the night, and the share my old horse might have + borne in them, were not the subjects, as may well be supposed, that + occupied my mind most, on my walk to the farm. Was it possible that + Margaret might have found out something about <i>her?</i> That was the one + question. + </p> + <p> + After removing the anxiety of my hostess, and partaking of their Highland + breakfast, a ceremony not to be completed without a glass of peaty whisky, + I wandered to my ancient haunt on the hill. Thence I could look down on my + old home, where it lay unchanged, though not one human form, which had + made it home to me, moved about its precincts. I went no nearer. I no more + felt that that was home, than one feels that the form in the coffin is the + departed dead. I sat down in my old study-chamber among the rocks, and + thought that if I could but find Alice she would be my home—of the + past as well as of the future;—for in her mind my necromantic words + would recall the departed, and we should love them together. + </p> + <p> + Towards noon I was again at the cottage. + </p> + <p> + Margaret was sitting up in bed, waiting for me. She looked weary, but + cheerful; and a clean white <i>mutch</i> gave her a certain <i>company</i>-air. + Janet left the room directly, and Margaret motioned me to a chair by her + side. I sat down. She took my hand, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Duncan, my boy, I fear I can give you but little help; but I will tell + you all I know. If I were to try to put into words the things I had to + encounter before I could come near her, you would not understand what I + meant. Nor do I understand the things myself. They seem quite plain to me + at the time, but very cloudy when I come back. But I did succeed in + getting one glimpse of her. She was fast asleep. She seemed to have + suffered much, for her face was very thin, and as patient as it was pale.” + </p> + <p> + “But where was she?” + </p> + <p> + “I must leave you to find out that, if you can, from my description. But, + alas! it is only the places immediately about the persons that I can see. + Where they are, or how far I have gone to get there, I cannot tell.” + </p> + <p> + She then gave me a rather minute description of the chamber in which the + lady was lying. Though most of the particulars were unknown to me, the + conviction, or hope at least, gradually dawned upon me, that I knew the + room. Once or twice I had peeped into the sanctuary of Lady Alice’s + chamber, when I knew she was not there; and some points in the description + Margaret gave set my heart in a tremor with the bare suggestion that she + might now be at Hilton Hall. + </p> + <p> + “Tell me, Margaret,” I said, almost panting for utterance, “was there a + mirror over the fireplace, with a broad gilt frame, carved into huge + representations of crabs and lobsters, and all crawling sea-creatures with + shells on them—very ugly, and very strange?” + </p> + <p> + She would have interrupted me before, but I would not be stopped. + </p> + <p> + “I must tell you, my dear Duncan,” she answered, “that in none of these + trances, or whatever you please to call them, did I ever see a mirror. It + has struck me before as a curious thing, that a mirror is then an absolute + blank to me—I see nothing on which I could put a name. It does not + even seem a vacant space to me. A mirror must have nothing in common with + the state I am then in, for I feel a kind of repulsion from it; and indeed + it would be rather an awful thing to look at, for of course I should see + no reflection of myself in it.” + </p> + <p> + (Here I beg once more to remind the reader, that Margaret spoke in Gaelic, + and that my translation into ordinary English does not in the least + represent the extreme simplicity of the forms of her speculations, any + more than of the language which conveyed them.) + </p> + <p> + “But,” she continued, “I have a vague recollection of seeing some broad, + big, gilded thing with figures on it. It might be something else, though, + altogether.” + </p> + <p> + “I will go in hope,” I answered, rising at once. + </p> + <p> + “Not already, Duncan?” + </p> + <p> + “Why should I stay longer?” + </p> + <p> + “Stay over to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “What is the use? I cannot.” + </p> + <p> + “For my sake, Duncan!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, dear Margaret; for your sake. Yes, surely.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you,” she answered. “I will not keep you longer now. But if I send + Janet to you, come at once. And, Duncan, wear this for my sake.” + </p> + <p> + She put into my hand an ancient gold cross, much worn. To my amazement I + recognised the counterpart of one Lady Alice had always worn. I pressed it + to my heart. + </p> + <p> + “I am a Catholic; you are a Protestant, Duncan; but never mind: that’s the + same sign to both of us. You won’t part with it. It has been in our family + for many long years.” + </p> + <p> + “Not while I live,” I answered, and went out, half wild with hope, into + the keen mountain air. How deliciously it breathed upon me! + </p> + <p> + I passed the afternoon in attempting to form some plan of action at Hilton + Hall, whither I intended to proceed as soon as Margaret set me at liberty. + That liberty came sooner than I expected; and yet I did not go at once. + Janet came for me towards sundown. I thought she looked troubled. I rose + at once and followed her, but asked no questions. As I entered the + cottage, the sun was casting the shadow of the edge of the hollow in which + the cottage stood just at my feet; that is, the sun was more than half set + to one who stood at the cottage door. I entered. + </p> + <p> + Margaret sat, propped with pillows. I saw some change had passed upon her. + She held out her hand to me. I took it. She smiled feebly, closed her + eyes, and went with the sun, down the hill of night. But down the hill of + night is up the hill of morning in other lands, and no doubt Margaret soon + found that she was more at home there than here. + </p> + <p> + I sat holding the dead hand, as if therein lay some communion still with + the departed. Perhaps she who saw more than others while yet alive, could + see when dead that I held her cold hand in my warm grasp. Had I not good + cause to love her? She had exhausted the last remnants of her life in that + effort to find for me my lost Alice. Whether she had succeeded I had yet + to discover. Perhaps she knew now. + </p> + <p> + I hastened the funeral a little, that I might follow my quest. I had her + grave dug amidst her own people and mine; for they lay side by side. The + whole neighbourhood for twenty miles round followed Margaret to the grave. + Such was her character and reputation, that the belief in her supernatural + powers had only heightened the notion of her venerableness. + </p> + <p> + When I had seen the last sod placed on her grave, I turned and went, with + a desolate but hopeful heart. I had a kind of feeling that her death had + sealed the truth of her last vision. I mounted old Constancy at the + churchyard gate, and set out for Hilton Hall. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI. <i>Hilton.</i> + </h2> + <p> + It was a dark, drizzling night when I arrived at the little village of + Hilton, within a mile of the Hall. I knew a respectable second-rate inn on + the side next the Hall, to which the gardener and other servants had been + in the habit of repairing of an evening; and I thought I might there + stumble upon some information, especially as the old-fashioned place had a + large kitchen in which all sorts of guests met. When I reflected on the + utter change which time, weather, and a great scar must have made upon me, + I feared no recognition. But what was my surprise when, by one of those + coincidences which have so often happened to me, I found in the ostler one + of my own troop at Waterloo! His countenance and salute convinced me that + he recognised me. I said to him: + </p> + <p> + “I know you perfectly, Wood; but you must not know me. I will go with you + to the stable.” + </p> + <p> + He led the way instantly. + </p> + <p> + “Wood,” I said, when we had reached the shelter of the stable, “I don’t + want to be known here, for reasons which I will explain to you another + time.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, sir. You may depend on me, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “I know I may, and I shall. Do you know anybody about the Hall?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir. The gardener comes here sometimes, sir. I believe he’s in the + house now. Shall I ask him to step this way, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “No. All I want is to learn who is at the Hall now. Will you get him + talking? I shall be by, having something to drink.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir. As soon as I have rubbed down the old horse, sir—bless + him!” + </p> + <p> + “You’ll find me there.” + </p> + <p> + I went in, and, with my condition for an excuse, ordered something hot by + the kitchen-fire. Several country people were sitting about it. They made + room for me, and I took my place at a table on one side. I soon discovered + the gardener, although time had done what he could to disguise him. Wood + came in presently, and, loitering about, began to talk to him. + </p> + <p> + “What’s the last news at the Hall, William?” he said. + </p> + <p> + “News!” answered the old man, somewhat querulously. “There’s never nothing + but news up there, and very new-fangled news, too. What do you think, now, + John? They do talk of turning all them greenhouses into hothouses; for, to + be sure, there’s nothing the new missus cares about but just the finest + grapes in the country; and the flowers, purty creatures, may go to the + devil for her. There’s a lady for ye!” + </p> + <p> + “But you’ll be glad to have her home, and see what she’s like, won’t you? + It’s rather dull up there now, isn’t it?” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t know what you call dull,” replied the old man, as if half + offended at the suggestion. “I don’t believe a soul missed his lordship + when he died; and there’s always Mrs. Blakesley and me, as is the best + friends in the world, besides the three maids and the stableman, who helps + me in the garden, now there’s no horses. And then there’s Jacob and—” + </p> + <p> + “But you don’t mean,” said Wood, interrupting him, “that there’s <i>none</i> + o’ the family at home now?” + </p> + <p> + “No. Who should there be? Least ways, only the poor lady. And she hardly + counts now—bless her sweet face!” + </p> + <p> + “Do you ever see her?” interposed one of the by-sitters. + </p> + <p> + “Sometimes.” + </p> + <p> + “Is she quite crazy?” + </p> + <p> + “Al-to-gether; but that quiet <i>and</i> gentle, you would think she was + an angel instead of a mad woman. But not a notion has she in <i>her</i> + head, no more than the babe unborn.” + </p> + <p> + It was a dreadful shock to me. Was this to be the end of all? Were it not + better she had died? For me, life was worthless now. And there were no + wars, with the chance of losing it honestly. + </p> + <p> + I rose, and went to my own room. As I sat in dull misery by the fire, it + struck me that it might not have been Lady Alice after all that the old + man spoke about. That moment a tap came to my door, and Wood entered. + After a few words, I asked him who was the lady the gardener had said was + crazy. + </p> + <p> + “Lady Alice,” he answered, and added: “A love story, that came to a bad + end up at the Hall years ago. A tutor was in it, they say. But I don’t + know the rights of it.” + </p> + <p> + When he left me, I sat in a cold stupor, in which the thoughts—if + thoughts they could be called—came and went of themselves. Overcome + by the appearances of things—as what man the strongest may not + sometimes be?—I felt as if I had lost her utterly, as if there was + no Lady Alice anywhere, and as if, to add to the vacant horror of the + world without her, a shadow of her, a goblin <i>simulacrum</i>, soul-less, + unreal, yet awfully like her, went wandering about the place which had + once been glorified by her presence—as to the eyes of seers the + phantoms of events which have happened years before are still visible, + clinging to the room in which they have indeed <i>taken place</i>. But, in + a little while, something warm began to throb and flow in my being; and I + thought that if she were dead, I should love her still; that now she was + not worse than dead; it was only that her soul was out of sight. Who could + tell but it might be wandering in worlds of too noble shapes and too high + a speech, to permit of representation in the language of the world in + which her bodily presentation remained, and therefore her speech and + behaviour seemed to men to be mad? Nay, was it not in some sense better + for me that it should be so? To see once the pictured likeness of her of + whom I had no such memorial, would I not give years of my poverty-stricken + life? And here was such a statue of her, as that of his wife which the + widowed king was bending before, when he said:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “What fine chisel + Could ever yet cut breath?” + </pre> + <p> + This statue I might see, “looking like an angel,” as the gardener had + said. And, while the bond of visibility remained, must not the soul be, + somehow, nearer to the earth, than if the form lay decaying beneath it? + Was there not some possibility that the love for whose sake the reason had + departed, might be able to recall that reason once more to the windows of + sense,—make it look forth at those eyes, and lie listening in the + recesses of those ears? In her somnambulic sleeps, the present body was + the sign that the soul was within reach: so it might be still. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Blakesley was still at the lodge, then: I would call upon her + to-morrow. I went to bed, and dreamed all night that Alice was sitting + somewhere in a land “full of dark mountains,” and that I was wandering + about in the darkness, alternately calling and listening; sometimes + fancying I heard a faint reply, which might be her voice or an echo of my + own; but never finding her. I woke in an outburst of despairing tears, and + my despair was not comforted by my waking. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXII. <i>The Sleeper.</i> + </h2> + <p> + It was a lovely morning in autumn. I walked to the Hall. I entered at the + same gate by which I had entered first, so many years before. But it was + not Mrs. Blakesley that opened it. I inquired after her, and the woman + told me that she lived at the Hall now, and took care of Lady Alice. So + far, this was hopeful news. + </p> + <p> + I went up the same avenue, through the same wide grassy places, saw the + same statue from whose base had arisen the lovely form which soon became a + part of my existence. Then everything looked rich, because I had come from + a poor, grand country. In all my wanderings I had seen nothing so rich; + yet now it seemed poverty-stricken. That it was autumn could not account + for this; for I had always found that the sadness of autumn vivified the + poetic sense; and that the colours of decay had a pathetic glory more + beautiful than the glory of the most gorgeous summer with all its flowers. + It was winter within me—that was the reason; and I could feel no + autumn around me, because I saw no spring beyond me. It had fared with my + mind as with the garden in the <i>Sensitive Plant,</i> when the lady was + dead. I was amazed and troubled at the stolidity with which I walked up to + the door, and, having rung the bell, waited. No sweet memories of the past + arose in my mind; not one of the well-known objects around looked at me as + claiming a recognition. Yet, when the door was opened, my heart beat so + violently at the thought that I might see her, that I could hardly stammer + out my inquiry after Mrs. Blakesley. + </p> + <p> + I was shown to a room. None of the sensations I had had on first crossing + the threshold were revived. I remembered them all; I felt none of them. + Mrs. Blakesley came. She did not recognise me. I told her who I was. She + stared at me for a moment, seemed to see the same face she had known still + glimmering through all the changes that had crowded upon it, held out both + her hands, and burst into tears. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Campbell,” she said, “you <i>are</i> changed! But not like her. She’s + the same to look at; but, oh dear!” + </p> + <p> + We were both silent for some time. At length she resumed:— + </p> + <p> + “Come to my room; I have been mistress here for some time now.” + </p> + <p> + I followed her to the room Mrs. Wilson used to occupy. She put wine on the + table. I told her my story. My labours, and my wounds, and my illness, + slightly touched as I trust they were in the course of the tale, yet moved + all her womanly sympathies. + </p> + <p> + “What can I do for you, Mr. Campbell?” she said. + </p> + <p> + “Let me see her,” I replied. + </p> + <p> + She hesitated for a moment. + </p> + <p> + “I dare not, sir. I don’t know what it might do to her. It might send her + raving; and she is so quiet.” + </p> + <p> + “Has she ever raved?” + </p> + <p> + “Not often since the first week or two. Now and then occasionally, for an + hour or so, she would be wild, wanting to get out. But she gave that over + altogether; and she has had her liberty now for a long time. But, Heaven + bless her! at the worst she was always a lady.” + </p> + <p> + “And am I to go away without even seeing her?” + </p> + <p> + “I am very sorry for you, Mr. Campbell.” + </p> + <p> + I felt hurt—foolishly, I confess—and rose. She put her hand on + my arm. + </p> + <p> + “I’ll tell you what I’ll do, sir. She always falls asleep in the + afternoon; you may see her asleep, if you like.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you; thank you,” I answered. “That will be much better. When shall + I come?” + </p> + <p> + “About three o’clock.” + </p> + <p> + I went wandering about the woods, and at three I was again in the + housekeeper’s room. She came to me presently, looking rather troubled. + </p> + <p> + “It is very odd,” she began, the moment she entered, “but for the first + time, I think, for years, she’s not for her afternoon sleep.” + </p> + <p> + “Does she sleep at night?” I asked. + </p> + <p> + “Like a bairn. But she sleeps a great deal; and the doctor says that’s + what keeps her so quiet. She would go raving again, he says, if the sleep + did not soothe her poor brain.” + </p> + <p> + “Could you not let me see her when she is asleep to-night?” + </p> + <p> + Again she hesitated, but presently replied:— + </p> + <p> + “I will, sir; but I trust to you never to mention it.” + </p> + <p> + “Of course I will not.” + </p> + <p> + “Come at ten o’clock, then. You will find the outer door on this side + open. Go straight to my room.” + </p> + <p> + With renewed thanks I left her and, once again betaking myself to the + woods, wandered about till night, notwithstanding signs of an approaching + storm. I thus kept within the boundaries of the demesne, and had no + occasion to request re-admittance at any of the gates. + </p> + <p> + As ten struck on the tower-clock, I entered Mrs. Blakesley’s room. She was + not there. I sat down. In a few minutes she came. + </p> + <p> + “She is fast asleep,” she said. “Come this way.” + </p> + <p> + I followed, trembling. She led me to the same room Lady Alice used to + occupy. The door was a little open. She pushed it gently, and I followed + her in. The curtains towards the door were drawn. Mrs. Blakesley took me + round to the other side.—There lay the lovely head, so phantom-like + for years, coming only in my dreams; filling now, with a real presence, + the eyes that had longed for it, as if in them dwelt an appetite of sight. + It calmed my heart at once, which had been almost choking me with the + violence of its palpitation. “That is not the face of insanity,” I said to + myself. “It is clear as the morning light.” As I stood gazing, I made no + comparisons between the past and the present, although I was aware of some + difference—of some measure of the unknown fronting me; I was filled + with the delight of beholding the face I loved—full, as it seemed to + me, of mind and womanhood; sleeping—nothing more. I murmured a + fervent “Thank God!” and was turning away with a feeling of satisfaction + for all the future, and a strange great hope beginning to throb in my + heart, when, after a little restless motion of her head on the pillow, her + patient lips began to tremble. My soul rushed into my ears. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Campbell,” she murmured, “I cannot spell; what am I to do to learn?” + </p> + <p> + The unexpected voice, naming my name, sounded in my ears like a voice from + the far-off regions where sighing is over. Then a smile gleamed up from + the depths unseen, and broke and melted away all over her face. But her + nurse had heard her speak, and now approached in alarm. She laid hold of + my arm, and drew me towards the door. I yielded at once, but heard a moan + from the bed as I went. I looked back—the curtains hid her from my + view. Outside the door, Mrs. Blakesley stood listening for a moment, and + then led the way downstairs. + </p> + <p> + “You made her restless. You see, sir, she never was like other people, + poor dear!” + </p> + <p> + “Her face is not like one insane,” I rejoined. + </p> + <p> + “I often think she looks more like herself when she’s asleep,” answered + she. “And then I have often seen her smile. She never smiles when she’s + awake. But, gracious me, Mr. Campbell! what <i>shall</i> I do?” + </p> + <p> + This exclamation was caused by my suddenly falling back in my chair and + closing my eyes. I had almost fainted. I had eaten nothing since + breakfast; and had been wandering about in a state of excitement all day. + I greedily swallowed the glass of wine she brought me, and then first + became aware that the storm which I had seen gathering while I was in the + woods had now broken loose. “What a night in the old hall!” thought I. The + wind was dashing itself like a thousand eagles against the house, and the + rain was trampling the roofs and the court like troops of galloping + steeds. I rose to go. + </p> + <p> + But Mrs. Blakesley interfered. + </p> + <p> + “You don’t leave this house to-night, Mr. Campbell,” she said. “I won’t + have your death laid at my door.” + </p> + <p> + I laughed. + </p> + <p> + “Dear Mrs. Blakesley,—” I said, seeing her determined. + </p> + <p> + “I won’t hear a word,” she interrupted. “I wouldn’t let a horse out in + such a tempest. No, no; you shall just sleep in your old quarters, across + the passage there.” + </p> + <p> + I did not care for any storm. It hardly even interested me. That beautiful + face filled my whole being. But I yielded to Mrs. Blakesley, and not + unwillingly. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII. <i>My Old Room.</i> + </h2> + <p> + Once more I was left alone in that room of dark oak, looking out on the + little ivy-mantled court, of which I was now reminded by the howling of + the storm within its high walls. Mrs. Blakesley had extemporised a bed for + me on the old sofa; and the fire was already blazing away splendidly. I + sat down beside it, and the sombre-hued Past rolled back upon me. + </p> + <p> + After I had floated, as it were, upon the waves of memory for some time, I + suddenly glanced behind me and around the room, and a new and strange + experience dawned upon me. Time became to my consciousness what some + metaphysicians say it is in itself—only a <i>form</i> of human + thought. For the Past had returned and had become the Present. I could not + be sure that the Past had passed, that I had not been dreaming through the + whole series of years and adventures, upon which I was able to look back. + For here was the room, all as before; and here was I, the same man, with + the same love glowing in my heart. I went on thinking. The storm went on + howling. The logs went on cheerily burning. I rose and walked about the + room, looking at everything as I had looked at it on the night of my first + arrival. I said to myself, “How strange that I should feel as if all this + had happened to me before!” And then I said, “Perhaps it <i>has</i> + happened to me before.” Again I said, “And when it did happen before, I + felt as if it had happened before that; and perhaps it has been happening + to me at intervals for ages.” I opened the door of the closet, and looked + at the door behind it, which led into the hall of the old house. It was + bolted. But the bolt slipped back at my touch; twelve years were nothing + in the history of its rust; or was it only yesterday I had forced the iron + free from the adhesion of the rust-welded surfaces? I stood for a moment + hesitating whether to open the door, and have one peep into the wide hall, + full of intent echoes, listening breathless for one air of sound, that + they might catch it up jubilant and dash it into the ears of—Silence—their + ancient enemy—their Death. But I drew back, leaving the door + unopened; and, sitting down again by my fire, sank into a kind of + unconscious weariness. Perhaps I slept—I do not know; but as I + became once more aware of myself, I awoke, as it were, in the midst of an + old long-buried night. I was sitting in my own room, waiting for Lady + Alice. And, as I sat waiting, and wishing she would come, by slow degrees + my wishes intensified themselves, till I found myself, with all my + gathered might, willing that she should come. The minutes passed, but the + will remained. + </p> + <p> + How shall I tell what followed? The door of the closet opened—slowly, + gently—and in walked Lady Alice, pale as death, her eyes closed, her + whole person asleep. With a gliding motion as in a dream, where the + volition that produces motion is unfelt, she seemed to me to dream herself + across the floor to my couch, on which she laid herself down as + gracefully, as simply, as in the old beautiful time. Her appearance did + not startle me, for my whole condition was in harmony with the phenomenon. + I rose noiselessly, covered her lightly from head to foot, and sat down, + as of old to watch. How beautiful she was! I thought she had grown taller; + but, perhaps, it was only that she had gained in form without losing + anything in grace. Her face was, as it had always been, colourless; but + neither it nor her figure showed any signs of suffering. The holy sleep + had fed her physical as well as shielded her mental nature. But what would + the waking be? Not all the power of the revived past could shut out the + anticipation of the dreadful difference to be disclosed, the moment she + should open those sleeping eyes. To what a frightfully farther distance + was that soul now removed, whose return I had been wont to watch, as from + the depths of the unknown world! That was strange; this was terrible. + Instead of the dawn of rosy intelligence I had now to look for the fading + of the loveliness as she woke, till her face withered into the bewildered + and indigent expression of the insane. + </p> + <p> + She was waking. My love with the unknown face was at hand. The reviving + flush came, grew, deepened. She opened her eyes. God be praised! They were + lovelier than ever. And the smile that broke over her face was the very + sunlight of the soul. + </p> + <p> + “Come again, you see!” she said gently, as she stretched her beautiful + arms towards me. + </p> + <p> + I could not speak. I could only submit to her embrace, and hold myself + with all my might, lest I should burst into helpless weeping. But a sob or + two broke their prison, and she felt the emotion she had not seen. + Relaxing her hold, she pushed me gently from her, and looked at me with + concern that grew as she looked. + </p> + <p> + “You are dreadfully changed, my Duncan! What is the matter? Has Lord + Hilton been rude to you? You look so much older, somehow. What can it be?” + </p> + <p> + I understood at once how it was. The whole of those dreary twelve years + was gone. The thread of her consciousness had been cut, those years + dropped out, and the ends reunited. She thought this was one of her old + visits to me, when, as now, she had walked in her sleep. I answered, + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you all another time. I don’t want to waste the moments with + you, my Alice, in speaking about it. Lord Hilton <i>has</i> behaved very + badly to me; but never mind.” + </p> + <p> + She half rose in anger; and her eyes looked insane for the first time. + </p> + <p> + “How dares he?” she said, and then checked herself with a sigh at her own + helplessness. + </p> + <p> + “But it will all come right, Alice,” I went on in terror lest I should + disturb her present conception of her circumstances. I felt as if the very + face I wore, with the changes of those twelve forgotten years, which had + passed over her like the breath of a spring wind, were a mask of which I + had to be ashamed before her. Her consciousness was my involuntary + standard of fact. Hope of my life as she was, there was thus mingled with + my delight in her presence a restless fear that made me wish fervently + that she would go. I wanted time to quiet my thoughts and resolve how I + should behave to her. + </p> + <p> + “Alice,” I said, “it is nearly morning. You were late to-night. Don’t you + think you had better go—for fear, you know?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” she said, with a smile, in which there was no doubt of fear, “you + are tired of me already! But I will go at once to dream about you.” + </p> + <p> + She rose. + </p> + <p> + “Go, my darling,” I said; “and mind you get some right sleep. Shall I go + with you?” + </p> + <p> + Much to my relief, she answered, + </p> + <p> + “No, no; please not. I can go alone as usual. When a ghost meets me, I + just walk through him, and then he’s nowhere; and I laugh.” + </p> + <p> + One kiss, one backward lingering look, and the door closed behind her. I + heard the echo of the great hall. I was alone. But what a loneliness—a + loneliness crowded with presence! I paced up and down the room, threw + myself on the couch she had left, started up, and paced again. It was long + before I could think. But the conviction grew upon me that she would be + mine yet. Mine yet? Mine she <i>was</i>, beyond all the power of madness + or demons; and mine I trusted she would be beyond the dispute of the + world. About me, at least, she was not insane. But what should I do? The + only chance of her recovery lay in seeing me still; but I could resolve on + nothing till I knew whether Mrs. Blakesley had discovered her absence from + her room; because, if I drew her, and she were watched and prevented from + coming, it would kill her, or worse. I must take to-morrow to think. + </p> + <p> + Yet at the moment, by a sudden impulse, I opened the window gently, + stepped into the little grassy court, where the last of the storm was + still moaning, and withdrew the bolts of a door which led into an alley of + trees running along one side of the kitchen-garden. I felt like a + housebreaker; but I said, “It is <i>her</i> right.” I pushed the bolts + forward again, so as just to touch the sockets and look as if they went + in, and then retreated into my own room, where I paced about till the + household was astir. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIV. <i>Prison-Breaking.</i> + </h2> + <p> + It was with considerable anxiety that I repaired to Mrs. Blakesley’s room. + There I found the old lady at the breakfast-table, so thoroughly composed, + that I was at once reassured as to her ignorance of what had occurred + while she slept. But she seemed uneasy till I should take my departure, + which I attributed to the fear that I might happen to meet Lady Alice. + </p> + <p> + Arrived at my inn, I kept my room, my dim-seen plans rendering it + desirable that I should attract as little attention in the neighbourhood + as might be. I had now to concentrate these plans, and make them definite + to myself. It was clear that there was no chance of spending another night + at Hilton Hall by invitation: would it be honourable to go there without + one, as I, knowing all the <i>outs and ins</i> of the place, could, if I + pleased? I went over the whole question of Alice’s position in that house, + and of the crime committed against her. I saw that, if I could win my wife + by restoring to her the exercise of reason, that very success would + justify the right I already possessed in her. And could she not demand of + me to climb over any walls, or break open whatsoever doors, to free her + from her prison—from the darkness of a clouded brain? Let them say + what they would of the meanness and wickedness of gaining such access to, + and using such power over, the insane—she was mine, and as safe with + me as with her mother. There is a love that tears and destroys; and there + is a love that enfolds and saves. I hated mesmerism and its vulgar + impertinences; but here was a power I possessed, as far as I knew, only + over one, and that one allied to me by a reciprocal influence, as well as + long-tried affection.—Did not love give me the right to employ this + power? + </p> + <p> + My cognitions concluded in the resolve to use the means in my hands for + the rescue of Lady Alice. Midnight found me in the alley of the + kitchen-garden. The door of the little court opened easily. Nor had I + withdrawn its bolts without knowing that I could manage to open the window + of my old room from the outside. I stood in the dark, a stranger and + housebreaker, where so often I had sat waiting the visits of my angel. I + secured the door of the room, struck a light, lighted a remnant of taper + which I found on the table, threw myself on the couch, and said to my + Alice—“Come.” + </p> + <p> + And she came. I rose. She laid herself down. I pulled off my coat—it + was all I could find—and laid it over her. The night was chilly. She + revived with the same sweet smile, but, giving a little shiver, said: + </p> + <p> + “Why have you no fire, Duncan? I must give orders about it. That’s some + trick of old Clankshoe.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear Alice, do not breath a word about me to any one. I have quarrelled + with Lord Hilton. He has turned me away, and I have no business to be in + the house.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh!” she replied, with a kind of faint recollecting hesitation. “That + must be why you never come to the haunted chamber now. I go there every + night, as soon as the sun is down.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, that is it, Alice.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! that must be what makes the day so strange to me too.” + </p> + <p> + She looked very bewildered for a moment, and then resumed: + </p> + <p> + “Do you know, Duncan, I feel very strange all day—as if I was + walking about in a dull dream that would never come to an end? But it is + very different at night—is it not, dear?” + </p> + <p> + She had not yet discovered any distinction between my presence to her + dreams and my presence to her waking sight. I hardly knew what reply to + make; but she went on: + </p> + <p> + “They won’t let me come to you now, I suppose. I shall forget my Euclid + and everything. I feel as if I had forgotten it all already. But you won’t + be vexed with your poor Alice, will you? She’s only a beggar-girl, you + know.” + </p> + <p> + I could answer only by a caress. + </p> + <p> + “I had a strange dream the other night. I thought I was sitting on a stone + in the dark. And I heard your voice calling me. And it went all round + about me, and came nearer, and went farther off, but I could not move to + go to you. I tried to answer you, but I could only make a queer sound, not + like my own voice at all.” + </p> + <p> + “I dreamed it too, Alice.” + </p> + <p> + “The same dream?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, the very same.” + </p> + <p> + “I am so glad. But I didn’t like the dream. Duncan, my head feels so + strange sometimes. And I am so sleepy. Duncan, dearest—am <i>I</i> + dreaming now? Oh! tell me that I am awake and that I hold you; for + to-morrow, when I wake, I shall fancy that I have lost you. They’ve + spoiled my poor brain, somehow. I am all right, I know, but I cannot get + at it. The red is withered, somehow.” + </p> + <p> + “You are wide awake, my Alice. I know all about it. I will help you to + understand it all, only you must do exactly as I tell you.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, yes.” + </p> + <p> + “Then go to bed now, and sleep as much as you can; else I will not let you + come to me at night.” + </p> + <p> + “That would be too cruel, when it is all I have.” + </p> + <p> + “Then go, dearest, and sleep.” + </p> + <p> + “I will.” + </p> + <p> + She rose and went. I, too, went, making all close behind me. The moon was + going down. Her light looked to me strange, and almost malignant. I feared + that when she came to the full she would hurt my darling’s brain, and I + longed to climb the sky, and cut her in pieces. Was I too going mad? I + needed rest, that was all. + </p> + <p> + Next morning, I called again upon Mrs. Blakesley, to inquire after Lady + Alice, anxious to know how yesterday had passed. + </p> + <p> + “Just the same,” answered the old lady. “You need not look for any change. + Yesterday I did see her smile once, though.” + </p> + <p> + And was that nothing? + </p> + <p> + In her case there was a reversal of the usual facts of nature—(<i>I + say facts</i>, not <i>laws</i>): the dreams of most people are more or + less insane; those of Lady Alice were sound; thus, with her, restoring the + balance of sane life. That smile was the sign of the dream-life beginning + to leaven the waking and false life. + </p> + <p> + “Have you heard of young Lord Hilton’s marriage?” asked Mrs. Blakesley. + </p> + <p> + “I have only heard some rumours about it,” I answered. “Who is the new + countess?” + </p> + <p> + “The daughter of a rich merchant somewhere. They say she isn’t the best of + tempers. They’re coming here in about a month. I am just terrified to + think how it may fare with my lamb now. They won’t let her go wandering + about wherever she pleases, I doubt. And if they shut her up, she will + die.” + </p> + <p> + I vowed inwardly that she should be free, if I carried her off, madness + and all. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXV. <i>New Entrenchments.</i> + </h2> + <p> + But this way of breaking into the house every night did not afford me the + facility I wished. For I wanted to see Lady Alice during the day, or at + least in the evening before she went to sleep; as otherwise I could not + thoroughly judge of her condition. So I got Wood to pack up a small stock + of provisions for me in his haversack, which I took with me; and when I + entered the house that night, I bolted the door of the court behind me, + and made all fast. + </p> + <p> + I waited till the usual time for her appearance had passed; and, always + apprehensive now, as was very natural, I had begun to grow uneasy, when I + heard her voice, as I had heard it once before, singing. Fearful of + disturbing her, I listened for a moment. Whether the song was her own or + not, I cannot be certain. When I questioned her afterwards, she knew + nothing about it. It was this,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Days of old, + Ye are not dead, though gone from me; + Ye are not cold, + But like the summer-birds gone o’er the sea. + The sun brings back the swallows fast, + O’er the sea: + When thou comest at the last, + The days of old come back to me. +</pre> + <p> + She ceased singing. Still she did not enter. I went into the closet, and + found that the door was bolted. When I opened it, she entered, as usual; + and, when she came to herself, seemed still better than before. + </p> + <p> + “Duncan,” she said, “I don’t know how it is, but I believe I must have + forgotten everything I ever knew. I feel as if I had. I don’t think I can + even read. Will you teach me my letters?” + </p> + <p> + She had a book in her hand. I hailed this as another sign that her waking + and sleeping thoughts bordered on each other; for she must have taken the + book during her somnambulic condition. I did as she desired. She seemed to + know nothing till I told her. But the moment I told her anything, she knew + it perfectly. Before she left me that night she was reading tolerably, + with many pauses of laughter that she should ever have forgotten how. The + moment she shared the light of my mind, all was plain; where that had not + shone, all was dark. The fact was, she was living still in the shadow of + that shock which her nervous constitution had received from our discovery + and my ejection. + </p> + <p> + As she was leaving me, I said, + </p> + <p> + “Shall you be in the haunted room at sunset tomorrow, Alice?” + </p> + <p> + “Of course I shall,” she answered. + </p> + <p> + “You will find me there then,” I rejoined—“that is, if you think + there is no danger of being seen.” + </p> + <p> + “Not the least,” she answered. “No one follows me there; not even Mrs. + Blakesley, good soul! They are all afraid, as usual.” + </p> + <p> + “And you won’t be frightened to see me there?” + </p> + <p> + “Frightened? No. Why? Oh! you think me queer too, do you?” + </p> + <p> + She looked vexed, but tried to smile. + </p> + <p> + “I? I would trust you with my life,” I said. “That’s not much, though—with + my soul, whatever that means, Alice.” + </p> + <p> + “Then don’t talk nonsense,” she rejoined coaxingly, “about my being + frightened to see you.” + </p> + <p> + When she had gone, I followed into the old hall, taking my sack with me; + for, after having found the door in the closet bolted, I was determined + not to spend one night more in my old quarters, and never to allow Lady + Alice to go there again, if I could prevent her. And I had good hopes + that, if we met in the day, the same consequences would follow as had + followed long ago—namely, that she would sleep at night. + </p> + <p> + It was just such a night as that on which I had first peeped into the + hall. The moon shone through one of the high windows, scarcely more dim + than before, and showed all the dreariness of the place. I went up the + great old staircase, hoping I trod in the very footsteps of Lady Alice, + and reached the old gallery in which I had found her on that night when + our strangely-knit intimacy began. My object was to choose one of the + deserted rooms in which I might establish myself without chance of + discovery. I had not turned many corners, or gone through many passages, + before I found one exactly to my mind. I will not trouble my reader with a + description of its odd position and shape. All I wanted was concealment, + and that it provided plentifully. I lay down on the floor, and was soon + fast asleep. + </p> + <p> + Next morning, having breakfasted from the contents of my bag, I proceeded + to make myself thoroughly acquainted with the bearings, etc., of this + portion of the house. Before evening, I knew it all thoroughly. + </p> + <p> + But I found it very difficult to wait for the evening. By the windows of + one of the rooms looking westward, I sat watching the down-going of the + sun. When he set, my moon would rise. As he touched the horizon, I went + the old, well-known way to the haunted chamber. What a night had passed + for me since I left Alice in that charmed room! I had a vague feeling, + however, notwithstanding the misfortune that had befallen us there, that + the old phantoms that haunted it were friendly to Alice and me. But I + waited her arrival in fear. Would she come? Would she be as in the night? + Or should I find her but half awake to life, and perhaps asleep to me? + </p> + <p> + One moment longer, and a light hand was laid on the door. It opened + gently, and Alice, entering, flitted across the room straight to my arms. + How beautiful she was! her old-fashioned dress bringing her into harmony + with the room and its old consecrated twilight! For this room looked + eastward, and there was only twilight here. She brought me some water, at + my request; and then we read, and laughed over our reading. Every moment + she not only knew something fresh, but knew that she had known it before. + The dust of the years had to be swept away; but it was only dust, and flew + at a breath. The light soon failed us in that dusky chamber; and we sat + and whispered, till only when we kissed could we see each other’s eyes. At + length Lady Alice said: + </p> + <p> + “They are looking for me; I had better go. Shall I come at night?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” I answered. “Sleep, and do not move.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, I will.” + </p> + <p> + She went, and I returned to my den. There I lay and thought. Had she ever + been insane at all? I doubted it. A kind of mental sleep or stupor had + come upon her—nothing more. True it might be allied to madness; but + is there a strong emotion that man or woman experiences that is not <i>allied</i> + to madness? Still her mind was not clear enough to reflect the past. But + if she never recalled that entirely, not the less were her love and + tenderness—all womanliness—entire in her. + </p> + <p> + Next evening we met again, and the next, and many evenings. Every time I + was more convinced than before that she was thoroughly sane in every + practical sense, and that she would recall everything as soon as I + reminded her. But this I forbore to do, fearing a reaction. + </p> + <p> + Meantime, after a marvellous fashion, I was living over again the old + lovely time that had gone by twelve years ago; living it over again, + partly in virtue of the oblivion that had invaded the companion and source + of the blessedness of the time. She had never ceased to live it; but had + renewed it in dreams, unknown as such, from which she awoke to + forgetfulness and quiet, while I awoke from my troubled fancies to tears + and battles. + </p> + <p> + It was strange, indeed, to live the past over again thus. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVI. Escape. + </h2> + <p> + It was time, however, to lay some plan, and make some preparations, for + our departure. The first thing to be secured was a convenient exit from + the house. I searched in all directions, but could discover none better + than that by which I had entered. Leaving the house one evening, as soon + as Lady Alice had retired, I communicated my situation to Wood, who + entered with all his heart into my projects. Most fortunately, through all + her so-called madness, Lady Alice had retained and cherished the feeling + that there was something sacred about the diamond-ring and the little + money which had been intended for our flight before; and she had kept them + carefully concealed, where she could find them in a moment. I had sent the + ring to a friend in London, to sell it for me; and it produced more than I + expected. I had then commissioned Wood to go to the county town and buy a + light gig for me; and in this he had been very fortunate. My dear old + Constancy had the accomplishment, not at all common to chargers, of going + admirably in harness; and I had from the first enjoined upon Wood to get + him into as good condition as possible. I now fixed a certain hour at + which Wood was to be at a certain spot on one of the roads skirting the + park, where I had found a crazy door in the plank-fence—with + Constancy in the dogcart, and plenty of wraps for Alice. + </p> + <p> + “And for Heaven’s sake, Wood,” I concluded, “look to his shoes.” + </p> + <p> + It may seem strange that I should have been able to go and come thus + without detection; but it must be remembered that I had made myself more + familiar with the place than any of its inhabitants, and that there were + only a very few domestics in the establishment. The gardener and stableman + slept in the house, for its protection; but I knew their windows + perfectly, and most of their movements. I could watch them all day long, + if I liked, from some loophole or other of my quarter; where, indeed, I + sometimes found that the only occupation I could think of. + </p> + <p> + The next evening I said, “Alice, I must leave the house: will you go with + me?” + </p> + <p> + “Of course I will, Duncan. When?” + </p> + <p> + “The night after to-morrow, as soon as every one is in bed and the house + quiet. If you have anything you value very much, take it; but the lighter + we go the better.” + </p> + <p> + “I have nothing, Duncan. I will take a little bag—that will do for + me.” + </p> + <p> + “But dress as warmly as you can. It will be cold.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes; I won’t forget that. Good night.” + </p> + <p> + She took it as quietly as going to church. + </p> + <p> + I had not seen Mrs. Blakesley since she had told me that the young earl + and countess were expected in about a month; else I might have learned one + fact which it was very important I should have known, namely, that their + arrival had been hastened by eight or ten days. The very morning of our + intended departure, I was looking into the court through a little round + hole I had cleared for observation in the dust of one of the windows, + believing I had observed signs of unusual preparation on the part of the + household, when a carriage drove up, followed by two others, and Lord and + Lady Hilton descended and entered, with an attendance of some eight or + ten. + </p> + <p> + There was a great bustle in the house all day. Of course I felt uneasy, + for if anything should interfere with our flight, the presence of so many + would increase whatever difficulty might occur. I was also uneasy about + the treatment my Alice might receive from the new-comers. Indeed, it might + be put out of her power to meet me at all. It had been arranged between us + that she should not come to the haunted chamber at the usual hour, but + towards midnight. + </p> + <p> + I was there waiting for her. The hour arrived; the house seemed quiet; but + she did not come. I began to grow very uneasy. I waited half an hour more, + and then, unable to endure it longer, crept to her door. I tried to open + it, but found it fast. At the same moment I heard a light sob inside. I + put my lips to the keyhole, and called “<i>Alice</i>.” She answered in a + moment:— + </p> + <p> + “They have locked me in.” + </p> + <p> + The key was gone. There was no time to be lost. Who could tell what they + might do to-morrow, if already they were taking precautions against her + madness? I would try the key of a neighbouring door, and if that would not + fit, I would burst the door open, and take the chance. As it was, the key + fitted the lock, and the door opened. We locked it again on the outside, + restored the key, and in another moment were in the haunted chamber. Alice + was dressed, ready for flight. To me, it was very pathetic to see her in + the shapes of years gone by. She looked faded and ancient, notwithstanding + that this was the dress in which I had seen her so often of old. Her + stream had been standing still, while mine had flowed on. She was a + portrait of my own young Alice, a picture of her own former self. + </p> + <p> + One or two lights glancing about below detained us for a little while. We + were standing near the window, feeling now very anxious to be clear of the + house; Alice was holding me and leaning on me with the essence of trust; + when, all at once, she dropped my arm, covered her face with her hands, + and called out: “The horse with the clanking shoe!” At the same moment, + the heavy door which communicated with this part of the house flew open + with a crash, and footsteps came hurrying along the passage. A light + gleamed into the room, and by it I saw that Lady Alice, who was standing + close to me still, was gazing, with flashing eyes, at the door. She + whispered hurriedly: + </p> + <p> + “I remember it all now, Duncan. My brain is all right. It is come again. + But they shall not part us this time. You follow me for once.” + </p> + <p> + As she spoke, I saw something glitter in her hand. She had caught up an + old Malay creese that lay in a corner, and was now making for the door, at + which half a dozen domestics were by this time gathered. They, too, saw + the glitter, and made way. I followed close, ready to fell the first who + offered to lay hands on her. But she walked through them unmenaced, and, + once clear, sped like a bird into the recesses of the old house. One + fellow started to follow. I tripped him up. I was collared by another. The + same instant he lay by his companion, and I followed Alice. She knew the + route well enough, and I overtook her in the great hall. We heard pursuing + feet rattling down the echoing stair. To enter my room and bolt the door + behind us was a moment’s work; and a few moments more took us into the + alley of the kitchen-garden. With speedy, noiseless steps, we made our way + to the park, and across it to the door in the fence, where Wood was + waiting for us, old Constancy pawing the ground with impatience for a good + run. + </p> + <p> + He had had enough of it before twelve hours were over. + </p> + <p> + Was I not well recompensed for my long years of despair? The cold stars + were sparkling overhead; a wind blew keen against us—the wind of our + own flight; Constancy stepped out with a will; and I urged him on, for he + bore my beloved and me into the future life. Close beside me she sat, + wrapped warm from the cold, rejoicing in her deliverance, and now and then + looking up with tear-bright eyes into my face. Once and again I felt her + sob, but I knew it was a sob of joy, and not of grief. The spell was + broken at last, and she was mine. I felt that not all the spectres of the + universe could tear her from me, though now and then a slight shudder + would creep through me, when the clank of Constancy’s bit would echo + sharply back from the trees we swept past. + </p> + <p> + We rested no more than was absolutely necessary; and in as short a space + as ever horse could perform the journey, we reached the Scotch border, and + before many more hours had gone over us, Alice was my wife. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVII. <i>Freedom</i>. + </h2> + <p> + Honest Wood joined us in the course of a week or two, and has continued in + my service ever since. Nor was it long before Mrs. Blakesley was likewise + added to our household, for she had been instantly dismissed from the + countess’s service on the charge of complicity in Lady Alice’s abduction. + </p> + <p> + We lived for some months in a cottage on a hill-side, overlooking one of + the loveliest of the Scotch lakes. Here I was once more tutor to my Alice. + And a quick scholar she was, as ever. Nor, I trust, was I slow in my part. + Her character became yet clearer to me, every day. I understood her better + and better. + </p> + <p> + She could endure marvellously; but without love and its joy she could not + <i>live</i>, in any real sense. In uncongenial society, her whole mental + faculty had frozen; when love came, her mental world, like a garden in the + spring sunshine, blossomed and budded. When she lost me, the Present + vanished, or went by her like an ocean that has no milestones; she caring + only for the Past, living only in the Past, and that reflection of it in + the dim glass of her hope, which prefigured the Future. + </p> + <p> + We have never again heard the clanking shoe. Indeed, after we had passed a + few months in the absorption of each other’s society, we began to find + that we doubted a great deal of what seemed to have happened to us. It was + as if the gates of the unseen world were closing against us, because we + had shut ourselves up in the world of the present. But we let it go + gladly. We felt that love was the gate to an unseen world infinitely + beyond that region of the psychological in which we had hitherto moved; + for this love was teaching us to love all men, and live for all men. In + fact, we are now, I am glad to say, very much like other people; and + wonder, sometimes, how much of the story of our lives might be accounted + for on the supposition that unusual coincidences had fallen in with + psychological peculiarities. Dr. Ruthwell, who is sometimes our most + welcome guest, has occasionally hinted at the sabre-cut as the key to all + the mysteries of the story, seeing nothing of it was at least recorded + before I came under his charge. But I have only to remind him of one or + two circumstances, to elicit from his honesty and immediate confession of + bewilderment, followed by silence; although he evidently still clings to + the notion that in that sabre-cut lies the solution of much of the marvel. + At all events, he considers me sane enough now, else he would hardly + honour me with so much of his confidence as he does. Having examined into + Lady Alice’s affairs, I claimed the fortune which she had inherited. Lord + Hilton, my former pupil, at once acknowledged the justice of the claim, + and was considerably astonished to find how much more might have been + demanded of him, which had been spent over the allowance made from her + income for her maintenance. But we had enough without claiming that. + </p> + <p> + My wife purchased for me the possession of my forefathers, and there we + live in peace and hope. To her I owe the delight which I feel every day of + my life in looking upon the haunts of my childhood as still mine. They + help me to keep young. And so does my Alice’s hair; for although much grey + now mingles with mine, hers is as dark as ever. For her heart, I know that + cannot grow old; and while the heart is young, man may laugh old Time in + the face, and dare him to do his worst. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0029" id="link2H_4_0029"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE CRUEL PAINTER + </h2> + <p> + Among the young men assembled at the University of Prague, in the year 159—, + was one called Karl von Wolkenlicht. A somewhat careless student, he yet + held a fair position in the estimation of both professors and men, because + he could hardly look at a proposition without understanding it. Where such + proposition, however, had to do with anything relating to the deeper + insights of the nature, he was quite content that, for him, it should + remain a proposition; which, however, he laid up in one of his mental + cabinets, and was ready to reproduce at a moment’s notice. This mental + agility was more than matched by the corresponding corporeal excellence, + and both aided in producing results in which his remarkable strength was + equally apparent. In all games depending upon the combination of muscle + and skill, he had scarce rivalry enough to keep him in practice. His + strength, however, was embodied in such a softness of muscular outline, + such a rare Greek-like style of beauty, and associated with such a + gentleness of manner and behaviour, that, partly from the truth of the + resemblance, partly from the absurdity of the contrast, he was known + throughout the university by the diminutive of the feminine form of his + name, and was always called Lottchen. + </p> + <p> + “I say, Lottchen,” said one of his fellow-students, called Richter, across + the table in a wine-cellar they were in the habit of frequenting, “do you + know, Heinrich Höllenrachen here says that he saw this morning, with + mortal eyes, whom do you think?—Lilith.” + </p> + <p> + “Adam’s first wife?” asked Lottchen, with an attempt at carelessness, + while his face flushed like a maiden’s. + </p> + <p> + “None of your chaff!” said Richter. “Your face is honester than your + tongue, and confesses what you cannot deny, that you would give your + chance of salvation—a small one to be sure, but all you’ve got—for + one peep at Lilith. Wouldn’t you now, Lottchen?” + </p> + <p> + “Go to the devil!” was all Lottchen’s answer to his tormentor; but he + turned to Heinrich, to whom the students had given the surname above + mentioned, because of the enormous width of his jaws, and said with + eagerness and envy, disguising them as well as he could, under the + appearance of curiosity— + </p> + <p> + “You don’t mean it, Heinrich? You’ve been taking the beggar in! Confess + now.” + </p> + <p> + “Not I. I saw her with my two eyes.” + </p> + <p> + “Notwithstanding the different planes of their orbits,” suggested Richter. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, notwithstanding the fact that I can get a parallax to any of the + fixed stars in a moment, with only the breadth of my nose for the base,” + answered Heinrich, responding at once to the fun, and careless of the + personal defect insinuated. “She was near enough for even me to see her + perfectly.” + </p> + <p> + “When? Where? How?” asked Lottchen. + </p> + <p> + “Two hours ago. In the churchyard of St. Stephen’s. By a lucky chance. Any + more little questions, my child?” answered Höllenrachen. + </p> + <p> + “What could have taken her there, who is seen nowhere?” said Richter. + </p> + <p> + “She was seated on a grave. After she left, I went to the place; but it + was a new-made grave. There was no stone up. I asked the sexton about her. + He said he supposed she was the daughter of the woman buried there last + Thursday week. I knew it was Lilith.” + </p> + <p> + “Her mother dead!” said Lottchen, musingly. Then he thought with himself—“She + will be going there again, then!” But he took care that this ghost-thought + should wander unembodied. “But how did you know her, Heinrich? You never + saw her before.” + </p> + <p> + “How do you come to be over head and ears in love with her, Lottchen, and + you haven’t seen her at all?” interposed Richter. + </p> + <p> + “Will you or will you not go to the devil?” rejoined Lottchen, with a + comic crescendo; to which the other replied with a laugh. + </p> + <p> + “No one could miss knowing her,” said Heinrich. + </p> + <p> + “Is she so very like, then?” + </p> + <p> + “It is always herself, her very self.” + </p> + <p> + A fresh flask of wine, turning out to be not up to the mark, brought the + current of conversation against itself; not much to the dissatisfaction of + Lottchen, who had already resolved to be in the churchyard of St. + Stephen’s at sun-down the following day, in the hope that he too might be + favoured with a vision of Lilith. + </p> + <p> + This resolution he carried out. Seated in a porch of the church, not + knowing in what direction to look for the apparition he hoped to see, and + desirous as well of not seeming to be on the watch for one, he was gazing + at the fallen rose-leaves of the sunset, withering away upon the sky; + when, glancing aside by an involuntary movement, he saw a woman seated + upon a new-made grave, not many yards from where he sat, with her face + buried in her hands, and apparently weeping bitterly. Karl was in the + shadow of the porch, and could see her perfectly, without much danger of + being discovered by her; so he sat and watched her. She raised her head + for a moment, and the rose-flush of the west fell over it, shining on the + tears with which it was wet, and giving the whole a bloom which did not + belong to it, for it was always pale, and now pale as death. It was indeed + the face of Lilith, the most celebrated beauty of Prague. + </p> + <p> + Again she buried her face in her hands; and Karl sat with a strange + feeling of helplessness, which grew as he sat; and the longing to help her + whom he could not help, drew his heart towards her with a trembling + reverence which was quite new to him. She wept on. The western roses + withered slowly away, and the clouds blended with the sky, and the stars + gathered like drops of glory sinking through the vault of night, and the + trees about the churchyard grew black, and Lilith almost vanished in the + wide darkness. At length she lifted her head, and seeing the night around + her, gave a little broken cry of dismay. The minutes had swept over her + head, not through her mind, and she did not know that the dark had come. + </p> + <p> + Hearing her cry, Karl rose and approached her. She heard his footsteps, + and started to her feet. Karl spoke— + </p> + <p> + “Do not be frightened,” he said. “Let me see you home. I will walk behind + you.” + </p> + <p> + “Who are you?” she rejoined. + </p> + <p> + “Karl Wolkenlicht.” + </p> + <p> + “I have heard of you. Thank you. I can go home alone.” + </p> + <p> + Yet, as if in a half-dreamy, half-unconscious mood, she accepted his + offered hand to lead her through the graves, and allowed him to walk + beside her, till, reaching the corner of a narrow street, she suddenly + bade him good-night and vanished. He thought it better not to follow her, + so he returned her good-night and went home. + </p> + <p> + How to see her again was his first thought the next day; as, in fact, how + to see her at all had been his first thought for many days. She went + nowhere that ever he heard of; she knew nobody that he knew; she was never + seen at church, or at market; never seen in the street. Her home had a + dreary, desolate aspect. It looked as if no one ever went out or in. It + was like a place on which decay had fallen because there was no indwelling + spirit. The mud of years was baked upon its door, and no faces looked out + of its dusty windows. + </p> + <p> + How then could she be the most celebrated beauty of Prague? How then was + it that Heinrich Höllenrachen knew her the moment he saw her? Above all, + how was it that Karl Wolkenlicht had, in fact, fallen in love with her + before ever he saw her? It was thus— + </p> + <p> + Her father was a painter. Belonging thus to the public, it had taken the + liberty of re-naming him. Every one called him Teufelsbürst, or + Devilsbrush. It was a name with which, to judge from the nature of his + representations, he could hardly fail to be pleased. For, not as a + nightmare dream, which may alternate with the loveliest visions, but as + his ordinary everyday work, he delighted to represent human suffering. + </p> + <p> + Not an aspect of human woe or torture, as expressed in countenance or + limb, came before his willing imagination, but he bore it straightway to + his easel. In the moments that precede sleep, when the black space before + the eyes of the poet teems with lovely faces, or dawns into a + spirit-landscape, face after face of suffering, in all varieties of + expression, would crowd, as if compelled by the accompanying fiends, to + present themselves, in awful levee, before the inner eye of the expectant + master. Then he would rise, light his lamp, and, with rapid hand, make + notes of his visions; recording, with swift successive sweeps of his + pencil, every individual face which had rejoiced his evil fancy. Then he + would return to his couch, and, well satisfied, fall asleep to dream yet + further embodiments of human ill. + </p> + <p> + What wrong could man or mankind have done him, to be thus fearfully + pursued by the vengeance of the artist’s hate? + </p> + <p> + Another characteristic of the faces and form which he drew was, that they + were all beautiful in the original idea. The lines of each face, however + distorted by pain, would have been, in rest, absolutely beautiful; and the + whole of the execution bore witness to the fact that upon this original + beauty the painter had directed the artillery of anguish to bring down the + sky-soaring heights of its divinity to the level of a hated existence. To + do this, he worked in perfect accordance with artistic law, falsifying no + line of the original forms. It was the suffering, rather than his pencil, + that wrought the change. The latter was the willing instrument to record + what the imagination conceived with a cruelty composed enough to be + correct. + </p> + <p> + To enhance the beauty he had thus distorted, and so to enhance yet further + the suffering that produced the distortion, he would often represent + attendant demons, whom he made as ugly as his imagination could compass; + avoiding, however, all grotesqueness beyond what was sufficient to + indicate that they were demons, and not men. Their ugliness rose from + hate, envy, and all evil passions; amongst which he especially delighted + to represent a gloating exultation over human distress. And often in the + midst of his clouds of demon faces, would some one who knew him recognise + the painter’s own likeness, such as the mirror might have presented it to + him when he was busiest over the incarnation of some exquisite torture. + </p> + <p> + But apparently with the wish to avoid being supposed to choose such + representations for their own sakes, he always found a story, often in the + histories of the church, whose name he gave to the painting, and which he + pretended to have inspired the pictorial conception. No one, however, who + looked upon his suffering martyrs, could suppose for a moment that he + honoured their martyrdom. They were but the vehicles for his hate of + humanity. He was the torturer, and not Diocletian or Nero. + </p> + <p> + But, stranger yet to tell, there was no picture, whatever its subject, + into which he did not introduce one form of placid and harmonious + loveliness. In this, however, his fierceness was only more fully + displayed. For in no case did this form manifest any relation either to + the actors or the endurers in the picture. Hence its very loveliness + became almost hateful to those who beheld it. Not a shade crossed the + still sky of that brow, not a ripple disturbed the still sea of that + cheek. She did not hate, she did not love the sufferers: the painter would + not have her hate, for that would be to the injury of her loveliness: + would not have her love, for he hated. Sometimes she floated above, as a + still, unobservant angel, her gaze turned upward, dreaming along, careless + as a white summer cloud, across the blue. If she looked down on the scene + below, it was only that the beholder might see that she saw and did not + care—that not a feather of her outspread pinions would quiver at the + sight. Sometimes she would stand in the crowd, as if she had been copied + there from another picture, and had nothing to do with this one, nor any + right to be in it at all. Or when the red blood was trickling drop by drop + from the crushed limb, she might be seen standing nearest, smiling over a + primrose or the bloom on a peach. Some had said that she was the painter’s + wife; that she had been false to him; that he had killed her; and, finding + that that was no sufficing revenge, thus half in love, and half in deepest + hate, immortalised his vengeance. But it was now universally understood + that it was his daughter, of whose loveliness extravagant reports went + abroad; though all said, doubtless reading this from her father’s + pictures, that she was a beauty without a heart. Strange theories of + something else supplying its place were rife among the anatomical + students. With the girl in the pictures, the wild imagination of Lottchen, + probably in part from her apparently absolute unattainableness and her + undisputed heartlessness, had fallen in love, as far as the mere + imagination can fall in love. + </p> + <p> + But again, how was he to see her? He haunted the house night after night. + Those blue eyes never met his. No step responsive to his came from that + door. It seemed to have been so long unopened that it had grown as fixed + and hard as the stones that held its bolts in their passive clasp. He + dared not watch in the daytime, and with all his watching at night, he + never saw father or daughter or domestic cross the threshold. Little he + thought that, from a shot-window near the door, a pair of blue eyes, like + Lilith’s, but paler and colder, were watching him just as a spider watches + the fly that is likely ere long to fall into his toils. And into those + toils Karl soon fell. For her form darkened the page; her form stood on + the threshold of sleep; and when, overcome with watching, he did enter its + precincts, her form entered with him, and walked by his side. He must find + her; or the world might go to the bottomless pit for him. But how? + </p> + <p> + Yes. He would be a painter. Teufelsbürst would receive him as a humble + apprentice. He would grind his colours, and Teufelsbürst would teach him + the mysteries of the science which is the handmaiden of art. Then he might + see her, and that was all his ambition. + </p> + <p> + In the clear morning light of a day in autumn, when the leaves were + beginning to fall seared from the hand of that Death which has his dance + in the chapels of nature as well as in the cathedral aisles of men—he + walked up and knocked at the dingy door. The spider painter opened it + himself. He was a little man, meagre and pallid, with those faded blue + eyes, a low nose in three distinct divisions, and thin, curveless, cruel + lips. He wore no hair on his face; but long grey locks, long as a woman’s, + were scattered over his shoulders, and hung down on his breast. When + Wolkenlicht had explained his errand, he smiled a smile in which hypocrisy + could not hide the cunning, and, after many difficulties, consented to + receive him as a pupil, on condition that he would become an inmate of his + house. Wolkenlicht’s heart bounded with delight, which he tried to hide: + the second smile of Teufelsbürst might have shown him that he had ill + succeeded. The fact that he was not a native of Prague, but coming from a + distant part of the country, was entirely his own master in the city, + rendered this condition perfectly easy to fulfil; and that very afternoon + he entered the studio of Teufelsbürst as his scholar and servant. + </p> + <p> + It was a great room, filled with the appliances and results of art. Many + pictures, festooned with cobwebs, were hung carelessly on the dirty walls. + Others, half finished, leaned against them, on the floor. Several, in + different stages of progress, stood upon easels. But all spoke the cruel + bent of the artist’s genius. In one corner a lay figure was extended on a + couch, covered with a pall of black velvet. Through its folds, the form + beneath was easily discernible; and one hand and forearm protruded from + beneath it, at right angles to the rest of the frame. Lottchen could not + help shuddering when he saw it. Although he overcame the feeling in a + moment, he felt a great repugnance to seating himself with his back + towards it, as the arrangement of an easel, at which Teufelsbürst wished + him to draw, rendered necessary. He contrived to edge himself round, so + that when he lifted his eyes he should see the figure, and be sure that it + could not rise without his being aware of it. But his master saw and + understood his altered position; and under some pretence about the light, + compelled him to resume the position in which he had placed him at first; + after which he sat watching, over the top of his picture, the expression + of his countenance as he tried to draw; reading in it the horrid fancy + that the figure under the pall had risen, and was stealthily approaching + to look over his shoulder. But Lottchen resisted the feeling, and, being + already no contemptible draughtsman, was soon interested enough to forget + it. And then, any moment <i>she</i> might enter. + </p> + <p> + Now began a system of slow torture, for the chance of which the painter + had been long on the watch—especially since he had first seen Karl + lingering about the house. His opportunities of seeing physical suffering + were nearly enough even for the diseased necessities of his art; but now + he had one in his power, on whom, his own will fettering him, he could try + any experiments he pleased for the production of a kind of suffering, in + the observation of which he did not consider that he had yet sufficient + experience. He would hold the very heart of the youth in his hand, and + wring it and torture it to his own content. And lest Karl should be strong + enough to prevent those expressions of pain for which he lay on the watch, + he would make use of further means, known to himself, and known to few + besides. + </p> + <p> + All that day Karl saw nothing of Lilith; but he heard her voice once—and + that was enough for one day. The next, she was sitting to her father the + greater part of the day, and he could see her as often as he dared glance + up from his drawing. She had looked at him when she entered, but had shown + no sign of recognition; and all day long she took no further notice of + him. He hoped, at first, that this came of the intelligence of love; but + he soon began to doubt it. For he saw that, with the holy shadow of + sorrow, all that distinguished the expression of her countenance from that + which the painter so constantly reproduced, had vanished likewise. It was + the very face of the unheeding angel whom, as often as he lifted his eyes + higher than hers, he saw on the wall above her, playing on a psaltery in + the smoke of the torment ascending for ever from burning Babylon.—The + power of the painter had not merely wrought for the representation of the + woman of his imagination; it had had scope as well in realising her. + </p> + <p> + Karl soon began to see that communication, other than of the eyes, was all + but hopeless; and to any attempt in that way she seemed altogether + indisposed to respond. Nor if she had wished it, would it have been safe; + for as often as he glanced towards her, instead of hers, he met the blue + eyes of the painter gleaming upon him like winter lightning. His tones, + his gestures, his words, seemed kind: his glance and his smile refused to + be disguised. + </p> + <p> + The first day he dined alone in the studio, waited upon by an old woman; + the next he was admitted to the family table, with Teufelsbürst and + Lilith. The room offered a strange contrast to the study. As far as + handicraft, directed by a sumptuous taste, could construct a + house-paradise, this was one. But it seemed rather a paradise of demons; + for the walls were covered with Teufelsbürst’s paintings. During the + dinner, Lilith’s gaze scarcely met that of Wolkenlicht; and once or twice, + when their eyes did meet, her glance was so perfectly unconcerned, that + Karl wished he might look at her for ever without the fear of her looking + at him again. She seemed like one whose love had rushed out glowing with + seraphic fire, to be frozen to death in a more than wintry cold: she now + walked lonely without her love. In the evenings, he was expected to + continue his drawing by lamplight; and at night he was conducted by + Teufelsbürst to his chamber. Not once did he allow him to proceed thither + alone, and not once did he leave him there without locking and bolting the + door on the outside. But he felt nothing except the coldness of Lilith. + </p> + <p> + Day after day she sat to her father, in every variety of costume that + could best show the variety of her beauty. How much greater that beauty + might be, if it ever blossomed into a beauty of soul, Wolkenlicht never + imagined; for he soon loved her enough to attribute to her all the + possibilities of her face as actual possessions of her being. To account + for everything that seemed to contradict this perfection, his brain was + prolific in inventions; till he was compelled at last to see that she was + in the condition of a rose-bud, which, on the point of blossoming, had + been chilled into a changeless bud by the cold of an untimely frost. For + one day, after the father and daughter had become a little more accustomed + to his silent presence, a conversation began between them, which went on + until he saw that Teufelsbürst believed in nothing except his art. How + much of his feeling for that could be dignified by the name of belief, + seeing its objects were such as they were, might have been questioned. It + seemed to Wolkenlicht to amount only to this: that, amidst a thousand + distastes, it was a pleasant thing to reproduce on the canvas the forms he + beheld around him, modifying them to express the prevailing feelings of + his own mind. + </p> + <p> + A more desolate communication between souls than that which then passed + between father and daughter could hardly be imagined. The father spoke of + humanity and all its experiences in a tone of the bitterest scorn. He + despised men, and himself amongst them; and rejoiced to think that the + generations rose and vanished, brood after brood, as the crops of corn + grew and disappeared. Lilith, who listened to it all unmoved, taking only + an intellectual interest in the question, remarked that even the corn had + more life than that; for, after its death, it rose again in the new crop. + Whether she meant that the corn was therefore superior to man, forgetting + that the superior can produce being without losing its own, or only + advanced an objection to her father’s argument, Wolkenlicht could not + tell. But Teufelsbürst laughed like the sound of a saw, and said: “Follow + out the analogy, my Lilith, and you will see that man is like the corn + that springs again after it is buried; but unfortunately the only result + we know of is a vampire.” + </p> + <p> + Wolkenlicht looked up, and saw a shudder pass through the frame, and over + the pale thin face of the painter. This he could not account for. But + Teufelsbürst could have explained it, for there were strange whispers + abroad, and they had reached his ear; and his philosophy was not quite + enough for them. But the laugh with which Lilith met this frightful + attempt at wit, grated dreadfully on Wolkenlicht’s feeling. With her, too, + however, a reaction seemed to follow. For, turning round a moment after, + and looking at the picture on which her father was working, the tears rose + in her eyes, and she said: “Oh! father, how like my mother you have made + me this time!” “Child!” retorted the painter with a cold fierceness, “you + have no mother. That which is gone out is gone out. Put no name in my + hearing on that which is not. Where no substance is, how can there be a + name?” + </p> + <p> + Lilith rose and left the room. Wolkenlicht now understood that Lilith was + a frozen bud, and could not blossom into a rose. But pure love lives by + faith. It loves the vaguely beheld and unrealised ideal. It dares believe + that the loved is not all that she ever seemed. It is in virtue of this + that love loves on. And it was in virtue of this, that Wolkenlicht loved + Lilith yet more after he discovered what a grave of misery her unbelief + was digging for her within her own soul. For her sake he would bear + anything—bear even with calmness the torments of his own love; he + would stay on, hoping and hoping.—The text, that we know not what a + day may bring forth, is just as true of good things as of evil things; and + out of Time’s womb the facts must come. + </p> + <p> + But with the birth of this resolution to endure, his suffering abated; his + face grew more calm; his love, no less earnest, was less imperious; and he + did not look up so often from his work when Lilith was present. The master + could see that his pupil was more at ease, and that he was making rapid + progress in his art. This did not suit his designs, and he would betake + himself to his further schemes. + </p> + <p> + For this purpose he proceeded first to simulate a friendship for + Wolkenlicht, the manifestations of which he gradually increased, until, + after a day or two, he asked him to drink wine with him in the evening. + Karl readily agreed. The painter produced some of his best; but took care + not to allow Lilith to taste it; for he had cunningly prepared and mingled + with it a decoction of certain herbs and other ingredients, exercising + specific actions upon the brain, and tending to the inordinate excitement + of those portions of it which are principally under the rule of the + imagination. By the reaction of the brain during the operation of these + stimulants, the imagination is filled with suggestions and images. The + nature of these is determined by the prevailing mood of the time. They are + such as the imagination would produce of itself, but increased in number + and intensity. Teufelsbürst, without philosophising about it, called his + preparation simply a love-philtre, a concoction well known by name, but + the composition of which was the secret of only a few. Wolkenlicht had, of + course, not the least suspicion of the treatment to which he was + subjected. + </p> + <p> + Teufelsbürst was, however, doomed to fresh disappointment. Not that his + potion failed in the anticipated effect, for now Karl’s real sufferings + began; but that such was the strength of Karl’s will, and his fear of + doing anything that might give a pretext for banishing him from the + presence of Lilith, that he was able to conceal his feelings far too + successfully for the satisfaction of Teufelsbürst’s art. Yet he had to + fetter himself with all the restraints that self-exhortation could load + him with, to refrain from falling at the feet of Lilith and kissing the + hem of her garment. For that, as the lowliest part of all that surrounded + her, itself kissing the earth, seemed to come nearest within the reach of + his ambition, and therefore to draw him the most. + </p> + <p> + No doubt the painter had experience and penetration enough to perceive + that he was suffering intensely; but he wanted to see the suffering + embodied in outward signs, bringing it within the region over which his + pencil held sway. He kept on, therefore, trying one thing after another, + and rousing the poor youth to agony; till to his other sufferings were + added, at length, those of failing health; a fact which notified itself + evidently enough even for Teufelsbürst, though its signs were not of the + sort he chiefly desired. But Karl endured all bravely. + </p> + <p> + Meantime, for various reasons, he scarcely ever left the house. + </p> + <p> + I must now interrupt the course of my story to introduce another element. + </p> + <p> + A few years before the period of my tale, a certain shoemaker of the city + had died under circumstances more than suggestive of suicide. He was + buried, however, with such precautions, that six weeks elapsed before the + rumour of the facts broke out; upon which rumour, not before, the most + fearful reports began to be circulated, supported by what seemed to the + people of Prague incontestable evidence.—A <i>spectrum</i> of the + deceased appeared to multitudes of persons, playing horrible pranks, and + occasioning indescribable consternation throughout the whole town. This + went on till at last, about eight months after his burial, the magistrates + caused his body to be dug up; when it was found in just the condition of + the bodies of those who in the eastern countries of Europe are called <i>vampires</i>. + They buried the corpse under the gallows; but neither the digging up nor + the reburying were of avail to banish the spectre. Again the spade and + pick-axe were set to work, and the dead man being found considerably + improved in <i>condition</i> since his last interment, was, with various + horrible indignities, burnt to ashes, “after which the <i>spectrum</i> was + never seen more.” + </p> + <p> + And a second epidemic of the same nature had broken out a little before + the period to which I have brought my story. + </p> + <p> + About midnight, after a calm frosty day, for it was now winter, a terrible + storm of wind and snow came on. The tempest howled frightfully about the + house of the painter, and Wolkenlicht found some solace in listening to + the uproar, for his troubled thoughts would not allow him to sleep. It + raged on all the next three days, till about noon on the fourth day, when + it suddenly fell, and all was calm. The following night, Wolkenlicht, + lying awake, heard unaccountable noises in the next house, as of things + thrown about, of kicking and fighting horses, and of opening and shutting + gates. Flinging wide his lattice and looking out, the noise of howling + dogs came to him from every quarter of the town. The moon was bright and + the air was still. In a little while he heard the sounds of a horse going + at full gallop round the house, so that it shook as if it would fall; and + flashes of light shone into his room. How much of this may have been owing + to the effect of the drugs on poor Lottchen’s brain, I leave my readers to + determine. But when the family met at breakfast in the morning, + Teufelsbürst, who had been already out of doors, reported that he had + found the marks of strange feet in the snow, all about the house and + through the garden at the back; stating, as his belief, that the tracks + must be continued over the roofs, for there was no passage otherwise. + There was a wicked gleam in his eye as he spoke; and Lilith believed that + he was only trying an experiment on Karl’s nerves. He persisted that he + had never seen any footprints of the sort before. Karl informed him of his + experiences during the night; upon which Teufelsbürst looked a little + graver still, and proceeded to tell them that the storm, whose snow was + still covering the ground, had arisen the very moment that their next door + neighbour died, and had ceased as suddenly the moment he was buried, + though it had raved furiously all the time of the funeral, so that “it + made men’s bodies quake and their teeth chatter in their heads.” Karl had + heard that the man, whose name was John Kuntz, was dead and buried. He + knew that he had been a very wealthy, and therefore most respectable, + alderman of the town; that he had been very fond of horses; and that he + had died in consequence of a kick received from one of his own, as he was + looking at his hoof. But he had not heard that, just before he died, a + black cat “opened the casement with her nails, ran to his bed, and + violently scratched his face and the bolster, as if she endeavoured by + force to remove him out of the place where he lay. But the cat afterwards + was suddenly gone, and she was no sooner gone, but he breathed his last.” + </p> + <p> + So said Teufelsbürst, as the reporter of the town talk. Lilith looked very + pale and terrified; and it was perhaps owing to this that the painter + brought no more tales home with him. There were plenty to bring, but he + heard them all and said nothing. The fact was that the philosopher himself + could not resist the infection of the fear that was literally raging in + the city; and perhaps the reports that he himself had sold himself to the + devil had sufficient response from his own evil conscience to add to the + influence of the epidemic upon him. The whole place was infested with the + presence of the dead Kuntz, till scarce a man or woman would dare to be + alone. He strangled old men; insulted women; squeezed children to death; + knocked out the brains of dogs against the ground; pulled up posts; turned + milk into blood; nearly killed a worthy clergyman by breathing upon him + the intolerable airs of the grave, cold and malignant and noisome; and, in + short, filled the city with a perfect madness of fear, so that every + report was believed without the smallest doubt or investigation. + </p> + <p> + Though Teufelsbürst brought home no more of the town talk, the old servant + was a faithful purveyor, and frequented the news-mart assiduously. Indeed + she had some nightmare experiences of her own that she was proud to add to + the stock of horrors which the city enjoyed with such a hearty community + of goods. For those regions were not far removed from the birthplace and + home of the vampire. The belief in vampires is the quintessential + concentration and embodiment of all the passion of fear in Hungary and the + adjacent regions. Nor, of all the other inventions of the human + imagination, has there ever been one so perfect in crawling terror as + this. Lilith and Karl were quite familiar with the popular ideas on the + subject. It did not require to be explained to them, that a vampire was a + body retaining a kind of animal life after the soul had departed. If any + relation existed between it and the vanished ghost, it was only sufficient + to make it restless in its grave. Possessed of vitality enough to keep it + uncorrupted and pliant, its only instinct was a blind hunger for the sole + food which could keep its awful life persistent—living human blood. + Hence it, or, if not it, a sort of semi-material exhalation or essence of + it, retaining its form and material relations, crept from its tomb, and + went roaming about till it found some one asleep, towards whom it had an + attraction, founded on old affection. It sucked the blood of this unhappy + being, transferring so much of its life to itself as a vampire could + assimilate. Death was the certain consequence. If suspicion conjectured + aright, and they opened the proper grave, the body of the vampire would be + found perfectly fresh and plump, sometimes indeed of rather florid + complexion;—with grown hair, eyes half open, and the stains of + recent blood about its greedy, leech-like lips. Nothing remained but to + consume the corpse to ashes, upon which the vampire would show itself no + more. But what added infinitely to the horror was the certainty that + whoever died from the mouth of the vampire, wrinkled grandsire or delicate + maiden, must in turn rise from the grave, and go forth a vampire, to suck + the blood of the dearest left behind. This was the generation of the + vampire brood. Lilith trembled at the very name of the creature. Karl was + too much in love to be afraid of anything. Yet the evident fear of the + unbelieving painter took a hold of his imagination; and, under the + influence of the potions of which he still partook unwittingly, when he + was not thinking about Lilith, he was thinking about the vampire. + </p> + <p> + Meantime, the condition of things in the painter’s household continued + much the same for Wolkenlicht—work all day; no communication between + the young people; the dinner and the wine; silent reading when work was + done, with stolen glances many over the top of the book, glances that were + never returned; the cold good-night; the locking of the door; the wakeful + night and the drowsy morning. But at length a change came, and sooner than + any of the party had expected. For, whether it was that the impatience of + Teufelsbürst had urged him to yet more dangerous experiments, or that the + continuance of those he had been so long employing had overcome at length + the vitality of Wolkenlicht—one afternoon, as he was sitting at his + work, he suddenly dropped from his chair, and his master hurrying to him + in some alarm, found him rigid and apparently lifeless. Lilith was not in + the study when this took place. In justice to Teufelsbürst, it must be + confessed that he employed all the skill he was master of, which for + beneficent purposes was not very great, to restore the youth; but without + avail. At last, hearing the footsteps of Lilith, he desisted in some + consternation; and that she might escape being shocked by the sight of a + dead body where she had been accustomed to see a living one, he removed + the lay figure from the couch, and laid Karl in its place, covering him + with a black velvet pall. He was just in time. She started at seeing no + one in Karl’s place and said— + </p> + <p> + “Where is your pupil, father?” + </p> + <p> + “Gone home,” he answered, with a kind of convulsive grin. + </p> + <p> + She glanced round the room, caught sight of the lay figure where it had + not been before, looked at the couch, and saw the pall yet heaved up from + beneath, opened her eyes till the entire white sweep around the iris + suggested a new expression of consternation to Teufelsbürst, though from a + quarter whence he did not desire or look for it; and then, without a word, + sat down to a drawing she had been busy upon the day before. But her + father, glancing at her now, as Wolkenlicht had used to do, could not help + seeing that she was frightfully pale. She showed no other sign of + uneasiness. As soon as he released her, she withdrew, with one more + glance, as she passed, at the couch and the figure blocked out in black + upon it. She hastened to her chamber, shut and locked the door, sat down + on the side of the couch, and fell, not a-weeping, but a-thinking. Was he + dead? What did it matter? They would all be dead soon. Her mother was dead + already. It was only that the earth could not bear more children, except + she devoured those to whom she had already given birth. But what if they + had to come back in another form, and live another sad, hopeless, + love-less life over again?—And so she went on questioning, and + receiving no replies; while through all her thoughts passed and repassed + the eyes of Wolkenlicht, which she had often felt to be upon her when she + did not see them, wild with repressed longing, the light of their love + shining through the veil of diffused tears, ever gathering and never + overflowing. Then came the pale face, so worshipping, so distant in its + self-withdrawn devotion, slowly dawning out of the vapours of her reverie. + When it vanished, she tried to see it again. It would not come when she + called it; but when her thoughts left knocking at the door of the lost, + and wandered away, out came the pale, troubled, silent face again, + gathering itself up from some unknown nook in her world of phantasy, and + once more, when she tried to steady it by the fixedness of her own regard, + fading back into the mist. So the phantasm of the dead drew near and + wooed, as the living had never dared.—What if there were any good in + loving? What if men and women did not die all out, but some dim shade of + each, like that pale, mind-ghost of Wolkenlicht, floated through the + eternal vapours of chaos? And what if they might sometimes cross each + other’s path, meet, know that they met, love on? Would not that revive the + withered memory, fix the fleeting ghost, give a new habitation, a body + even, to the poor, unhoused wanderers, frozen by the eternal frosts, no + longer thinking beings, but thoughts wandering through the brain of the + “Melancholy Mass?” Back with the thought came the face of the dead Karl, + and the maiden threw herself on her bed in a flood of bitter tears. She + could have loved him if he had only lived: she did love him, for he was + dead. But even in the midst of the remorse that followed—for had she + not killed him?—life seemed a less hard and hopeless thing than + before. For it is love itself and not its responses or results that is the + soul of life and its pleasures. + </p> + <p> + Two hours passed ere she could again show herself to her father, from whom + she seemed in some new way divided by the new feeling in which he did not, + and could not share. But at last, lest he should seek her, and finding + her, should suspect her thoughts, she descended and sought him.—For + there is a maidenliness in sorrow, that wraps her garments close around + her.—But he was not to be seen; the door of the study was locked. A + shudder passed through her as she thought of what her father, who lost no + opportunity of furthering his all but perfect acquaintance with the human + form and structure, might be about with the figure which she knew lay dead + beneath that velvet pall, but which had arisen to haunt the hollow caves + and cells of her living brain. She rushed away, and up once more to her + silent room, through the darkness which had now settled down in the house; + threw herself again on her bed, and lay almost paralysed with horror and + distress. + </p> + <p> + But Teufelsbürst was not about anything so frightful as she supposed, + though something frightful enough. I have already implied that Wolkenlicht + was, in form, as fine an embodiment of youthful manhood as any old Greek + republic could have provided one of its sculptors with as model for an + Apollo. It is true, that to the eye of a Greek artist he would not have + been more acceptable in consequence of the regimen he had been going + through for the last few weeks; but the emaciation of Wolkenlicht’s frame, + and the consequent prominence of the muscles, indicating the pain he had + gone through, were peculiarly attractive to Teufelsbürst.—He was + busy preparing to take a cast of the body of his dead pupil, that it might + aid to the perfection of his future labours. + </p> + <p> + He was deep in the artistic enjoyment of a form, at the same time so + beautiful and strong, yet with the lines of suffering in every limb and + feature, when his daughter’s hand was laid on the latch. He started, flung + the velvet drapery over the body, and went to the door. But Lilith had + vanished. He returned to his labours. The operation took a long time, for + he performed it very carefully. Towards midnight, he had finished encasing + the body in a close-clinging shell of plaster, which, when broken off, and + fitted together, would be the matrix to the form of the dead Wolkenlicht. + Before leaving it to harden till the morning, he was just proceeding to + strengthen it with an additional layer all over, when a flash of + lightning, reflected in all its dazzle from the snow without, almost + blinded him. A peal of long-drawn thunder followed; the wind rose; and + just such a storm came on as had risen some time before at the death of + Kuntz, whose spectre was still tormenting the city. The gnomes of terror, + deep hidden in the caverns of Teufelsbürst’s nature, broke out jubilant. + With trembling hands he tried to cast the pall over the awful white + chrysalis,—failed, and fled to his chamber. And there lay the studio + naked to the eyes of the lightning, with its tortured forms throbbing out + of the dark, and quivering, as with life, in the almost continuous + palpitations of the light; while on the couch lay the motionless mass of + whiteness, gleaming blue in the lightning, almost more terrible in its + crude indications of the human form, than that which it enclosed. It lay + there as if dropped from some tree of chaos, haggard with the snows of + eternity—a huge mis-shapen nut, with a corpse for its kernel. + </p> + <p> + But the lightning would soon have revealed a more terrible sight still, + had there been any eyes to behold it. At midnight, while a peal of thunder + was just dying away in the distance, the crust of death flew asunder, + rending in all directions; and, pale as his investiture, staring with + ghastly eyes, the form of Karl started up sitting on the couch. Had he not + been far beyond ordinary men in strength, he could not thus have rent his + sepulchre. Indeed, had Teufelsbürst been able to finish his task by the + additional layer of gypsum which he contemplated, he must have died the + moment life revived; although, so long as the trance lasted, neither the + exclusion from the air, nor the practical solidification of the walls of + his chest, could do him any injury. He had lain unconscious throughout the + operations of Teufelsbürst, but now the catalepsy had passed away, + possibly under the influence of the electric condition of the atmosphere. + Very likely the strength he now put forth was intensified by a convulsive + reaction of all the powers of life, as is not infrequently the case in + sudden awakenings from similar interruptions of vital activity. The coming + to himself and the bursting of his case were simultaneous. He sat staring + about him, with, of all his mental faculties, only his imagination awake, + from which the thoughts that occupied it when he fell senseless had not + yet faded. These thoughts had been compounded of feelings about Lilith, + and speculations about the vampire that haunted the neighbourhood; and the + fumes of the last drug of which he had partaken, still hovering in his + brain, combined with these thoughts and fancies to generate the delusion + that he had just broken from the embrace of his coffin, and risen, the + last-born of the vampire race. The sense of unavoidable obligation to + fulfil his doom, was yet mingled with a faint flutter of joy, for he knew + that he must go to Lilith. With a deep sigh, he rose, gathered up the pall + of black velvet, flung it around him, stepped from the couch, and left the + study to find her. + </p> + <p> + Meantime, Teufelsbürst had sufficiently recovered to remember that he had + left the door of the studio unfastened, and that any one entering would + discover in what he had been engaged, which, in the case of his getting + into any difficulty about the death of Karl, would tell powerfully against + him. He was at the farther end of a long passage, leading from the house + to the studio, on his way to make all secure, when Karl appeared at the + door, and advanced towards him. The painter, seized with invincible + terror, turned and fled. He reached his room, and fell senseless on the + floor. The phantom held on its way, heedless. + </p> + <p> + Lilith, on gaining her room the second time, had thrown herself on her bed + as before, and had wept herself into a troubled slumber. She lay dreaming—and + dreadful dreams. Suddenly she awoke in one of those peals of thunder which + tormented the high regions of the air, as a storm billows the surface of + the ocean. She lay awake and listened. As it died away, she thought she + heard, mingling with its last muffled murmurs, the sound of moaning. She + turned her face towards the room in keen terror. But she saw nothing. + Another light, long-drawn sigh reached her ear, and at the same moment a + flash of lightning illumined the room. In the corner farthest from her + bed, she spied a white face, nothing more. She was dumb and motionless + with fear. Utter darkness followed, a darkness that seemed to enter into + her very brain. Yet she felt that the face was slowly crossing the black + gulf of the room, and drawing near to where she lay. The next flash + revealed, as it bended over her, the ghastly face of Karl, down which + flowed fresh tears. The rest of his form was lost in blackness. Lilith did + not faint, but it was the very force of her fear that seemed to keep her + alive. It became for the moment the atmosphere of her life. She lay + trembling and staring at the spot in the darkness where she supposed the + face of Karl still to be. But the next flash showed her the face far off, + looking at her through the panes of her lattice-window. + </p> + <p> + For Lottchen, as soon as he saw Lilith, seemed to himself to go through a + second stage of awaking. Her face made him doubt whether he could be a + vampire after all; for instead of wanting to bite her arm and suck the + blood, he all but fell down at her feet in a passion of speechless love. + The next moment he became aware that his presence must be at least very + undesirable to her; and in an instant he had reached her window, which he + knew looked upon a lower roof that extended between two different parts of + the house, and before the next flash came, he had stepped through the + lattice and closed it behind him. + </p> + <p> + Believing his own room to be attainable from this quarter, he proceeded + along the roof in the direction he judged best. The cold winter air by + degrees restored him entirely to his right mind, and he soon comprehended + the whole of the circumstances in which he found himself. Peeping through + a window he was passing, to see whether it belonged to his room, he spied + Teufelsbürst, who, at the very moment, was lifting his head from the faint + into which he had fallen at the first sight of Lottchen. The moon was + shining clear, and in its light the painter saw, to his horror, the pale + face staring in at his window. He thought it had been there ever since he + had fainted, and dropped again in a deeper swoon than before. Karl saw him + fall, and the truth flashed upon him that the wicked artist took him for + what he had believed himself to be when first he recovered from his trance—namely, + the vampire of the former Karl Wolkenlicht. The moment he comprehended it, + he resolved to keep up the delusion if possible. Meantime he was + innocently preparing a new ingredient for the popular dish of horrors to + be served at the ordinary of the city the next day. For the old servant’s + were not the only eyes that had seen him besides those of Teufelsbürst. + What could be more like a vampire, dragging his pall after him, than this + apparition of poor, half-frozen Lottchen, crawling across the roof? Karl + remembered afterwards that he had heard the dogs howling awfully in every + direction, as he crept along; but this was hardly necessary to make those + who saw him conclude that it was the same phantasm of John Kuntz, which + had been infesting the whole city, and especially the house next door to + the painter’s, which had been the dwelling of the respectable alderman who + had degenerated into this most disreputable of moneyless vagabonds. What + added to the consternation of all who heard of it, was the sickening + conviction that the extreme measures which they had resorted to in order + to free the city from the ghoul, beyond which nothing could be done, had + been utterly unavailing, successful as they had proved in every other + known case of the kind. For, urged as well by various horrid signs about + his grave, which not even its close proximity to the altar could render a + place of repose, they had opened it, had found in the body every + peculiarity belonging to a vampire, had pulled it out with the greatest + difficulty on account of a quite supernatural ponderosity; which rendered + the horse which had killed him—a strong animal—all but unable + to drag it along, and had at last, after cutting it in pieces, and + expending on the fire two hundred and sixteen great billets, succeeded in + conquering its incombustibleness, and reducing it to ashes. Such, at + least, was the story which had reached the painter’s household, and was + believed by many; and if all this did not compel the perturbed corpse to + rest, what more could be done? + </p> + <p> + When Karl had reached his room, and was dressing himself, the thought + struck him that something might be made of the report of the extreme + weight of the body of old Kuntz, to favour the continuance of the delusion + of Teufelsbürst, although he hardly knew yet to what use he could turn + this delusion. He was convinced that he would have made no progress + however long he might have remained in his house; and that he would have + more chance of favour with Lilith if he were to meet her in any other + circumstances whatever than those in which he invariably saw her—namely, + surrounded by her father’s influences, and watched by her father’s cold + blue eyes. + </p> + <p> + As soon as he was dressed, he crept down to the studio, which was now + quiet enough, the storm being over, and the moon filling it with her + steady shine. In the corner lay in all directions the fragments of the + mould which his own body had formed and filled. The bag of plaster and the + bucket of water which the painter had been using stood beside. Lottchen + gathered all the pieces together, and then making his way to an outhouse + where he had seen various odds and ends of rubbish lying, chose from the + heap as many pieces of old iron and other metal as he could find. To these + he added a few large stones from the garden. When he had got all into the + studio, he locked the door, and proceeded to fit together the parts of the + mould, filling up the hollow as he went on with the heaviest things he + could get into it, and solidifying the whole by pouring in plaster; till, + having at length completed it, and obliterated, as much as possible, the + marks of joining, he left it to harden, with the conviction that now it + would make a considerable impression on Teufelsbürst’s imagination, as + well as on his muscular sense. He then left everything else as nearly + undisturbed as he could; and, knowing all the ways of the house, was soon + in the street, without leaving any signs of his exit. + </p> + <p> + Karl soon found himself before the house in which his friend Höllenrachen + resided. Knowing his studious habits, he had hoped to see his light still + burning, nor was he disappointed. He contrived to bring him to his window, + and a moment after, the door was cautiously opened. + </p> + <p> + “Why, Lottchen, where do you come from?” + </p> + <p> + “From the grave, Heinrich, or next door to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Come in, and tell me all about it. We thought the old painter had made a + model of you, and tortured you to death.” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps you were not far wrong. But get me a horn of ale, for even a + vampire is thirsty, you know.” + </p> + <p> + “A vampire!” exclaimed Heinrich, retreating a pace, and involuntarily + putting himself upon his guard. + </p> + <p> + Karl laughed. + </p> + <p> + “My hand was warm, was it not, old fellow?” he said. “Vampires are cold, + all but the blood.” + </p> + <p> + “What a fool I am!” rejoined Heinrich. “But you know we have been hearing + such horrors lately that a fellow may be excused for shuddering a little + when a pale-faced apparition tells him at two o’clock in the morning that + he is a vampire, and thirsty, too.” + </p> + <p> + Karl told him the whole story; and the mental process of regarding it for + the sake of telling it, revealed to him pretty clearly some of the + treatment of which he had been unconscious at the time. Heinrich was quite + sure that his suspicions were correct. And now the question was, what was + to be done next? + </p> + <p> + “At all events,” said Heinrich, “we must keep you out of the way for some + time. I will represent to my landlady that you are in hiding from enemies, + and her heart will rule her tongue. She can let you have a garret-room, I + know; and I will do as well as I can to bear you company. We shall have + time then to invent some plan of operation.” + </p> + <p> + To this proposal Karl agreed with hearty thanks, and soon all was + arranged. The only conclusion they could yet arrive at was, that somehow + or other the old demon-painter must be tamed. + </p> + <p> + Meantime, how fared it with Lilith? She too had no doubt that she had seen + the body-ghost of poor Karl, and that the vampire had, according to rule, + paid her the first visit because he loved her best. This was horrible + enough if the vampire were not really the person he represented; but if in + any sense it were Karl himself, at least it gave some expectation of a + more prolonged existence than her father had taught her to look for; and + if love anything like her mother’s still lasted, even along with the + habits of a vampire, there was something to hope for in the future. And + then, though he had visited her, he had not, as far as she was aware, + deprived her of a drop of blood. She could not be certain that he had not + bitten her, for she had been in such a strange condition of mind that she + might not have felt it, but she believed that he had restrained the + impulses of his vampire nature, and had left her, lest he should yet yield + to them. She fell fast asleep; and, when morning came, there was not, as + far as she could judge, one of those triangular leech-like perforations to + be found upon her whole body. Will it be believed that the moment she was + satisfied of this, she was seized by a terrible jealousy, lest Karl should + have gone and bitten some one else? Most people will wonder that she + should not have gone out of her senses at once; but there was all the + difference between a visit from a real vampire and a visit from a man she + had begun to love, even although she took him for a vampire. All the + difference does <i>not</i> lie in a name. They were very different causes, + and the effects must be very different. + </p> + <p> + When Teufelsbürst came down in the morning, he crept into the studio like + a murderer. There lay the awful white block, seeming to his eyes just the + same as he had left it. What was to be done with it? He dared not open it. + Mould and model must go together. But whither? If inquiry should be made + after Wolkenlicht, and this were discovered anywhere on his premises, + would it not be enough to bring him at once to the gallows? Therefore it + would be dangerous to bury it in the garden, or in the cellar. + </p> + <p> + “Besides,” thought he, with a shudder, “that would be to fix the vampire + as a guest for ever.”—And the horrors of the past night rushed back + upon his imagination with renewed intensity. What would it be to have the + dead Karl crawling about his house for ever, now inside, now out, now + sitting on the stairs, now staring in at the windows? + </p> + <p> + He would have dragged it to the bottom of his garden, past which the + Moldau flowed, and plunged it into the stream; but then, should the + spectre continue to prove troublesome, it would be almost impossible to + reach the body so as to destroy it by fire; besides which, he could not do + it without assistance, and the probability of discovery. If, however, the + apparition should turn out to be no vampire, but only a respectable ghost, + they might manage to endure its presence, till it should be weary of + haunting them. + </p> + <p> + He resolved at last to convey the body for the meantime into a concealed + cellar in the house, seeing something must be done before his daughter + came down. Proceeding to remove it, his consternation as greatly increased + when he discovered how the body had grown in weight since he had thus + disposed of it, leaving on his mind scarcely a hope that it could turn out + not to be a vampire after all. He could scarcely stir it, and there was + but one whom he could call to his assistance—the old woman who acted + as his housekeeper and servant. + </p> + <p> + He went to her room, roused her, and told her the whole story. Devoted to + her master for many years, and not quite so sensitive to fearful + influences as when less experienced in horrors, she showed immediate + readiness to render him assistance. Utterly unable, however, to lift the + mass between them, they could only drag and push it along; and such a slow + toil was it that there was no time to remove the traces of its track, + before Lilith came down and saw a broad white line leading from the door + of the studio down the cellarstairs. She knew in a moment what it meant; + but not a word was uttered about the matter, and the name of Karl + Wolkenlicht seemed to be entirely forgotten. + </p> + <p> + But how could the affairs of a house go on all the same when every one of + the household knew that a dead body lay in the cellar?—nay more, + that, although it lay still and dead enough all day, it would come half + alive at nightfall, and, turning the whole house into a sepulchre by its + presence, go creeping about like a cat all over it in the dark—perhaps + with phosphorescent eyes? So it was not surprising that the painter + abandoned his studio early, and that the three found themselves together + in the gorgeous room formerly described, as soon as twilight began to + fall. + </p> + <p> + Already Teufelsbürst had begun to experience a kind of shrinking from the + horrid faces in his own pictures, and to feel disgusted at the abortions + of his own mind. But all that he and the old woman now felt was an + increasing fear as the night drew on, a kind of sickening and paralysing + terror. The thing down there would not lie quiet—at least its + phantom in the cellars of their imagination would not. As much as + possible, however, they avoided alarming Lilith, who, knowing all they + knew, was as silent as they. But her mind was in a strange state of + excitement, partly from the presence of a new sense of love, the pleasure + of which all the atmosphere of grief into which it grew could not totally + quench. It comforted her somehow, as a child may comfort when his father + is away. + </p> + <p> + Bedtime came, and no one made a move to go. Without a word spoken on the + subject, the three remained together all night; the elders nodding and + slumbering occasionally, and Lilith getting some share of repose on a + couch. All night the shape of death might be somewhere about the house; + but it did not disturb them. They heard no sound, saw no sight; and when + the morning dawned, they separated, chilled and stupid, and for the time + beyond fear, to seek repose in their private chambers. There they remained + equally undisturbed. + </p> + <p> + But when the painter approached his easel a few hours after, looking more + pale and haggard still than he was wont, from the fears of the night, a + new bewilderment took possession of him. He had been busy with a fresh + embodiment of his favourite subject, into which he had sketched the form + of the student as the sufferer. He had represented poor Wolkenlicht as + just beginning to recover from a trance, while a group of surgeons, + unaware of the signs of returning life, were absorbed in a minute + dissection of one of the limbs. At an open door he had painted Lilith + passing, with her face buried in a bunch of sweet peas. But when he came + to the picture, he found, to his astonishment and terror, that the face of + one of the group was now turned towards that of the victim, regarding his + revival with demoniac satisfaction, and taking pains to prevent the others + from discovering it. The face of this prince of torturers was that of + Teufelsbürst himself. Lilith had altogether vanished, and in her place + stood the dim vampire reiteration of the body that lay extended on the + table, staring greedily at the assembled company. With trembling hands the + painter removed the picture from the easel, and turned its face to the + wall. + </p> + <p> + Of course this was the work of Lottchen. When he left the house, he took + with him the key of a small private door, which was so seldom used that, + while it remained closed, the key would not be missed, perhaps for many + months. Watching the windows, he had chosen a safe time to enter, and had + been hard at work all night on these alterations. Teufelsbürst attributed + them to the vampire, and left the picture as he found it, not daring to + put brush to it again. + </p> + <p> + The next night was passed much after the same fashion. But the fear had + begun to die away a little in the hearts of the women, who did not know + what had taken place in the studio on the previous night. It burrowed, + however, with gathered force in the vitals of Teufelsbürst. But this night + likewise passed in peace; and before it was over, the old woman had taken + to speculating in her own mind as to the best way of disposing of the + body, seeing it was not at all likely to be troublesome. But when the + painter entered his studio in trepidation the next morning, he found that + the form of the lovely Lilith was painted out of every picture in the + room. This could not be concealed; and Lilith and the servant became aware + that the studio was the portion of the house in haunting which the vampire + left the rest in peace. + </p> + <p> + Karl recounted all the tricks he had played to his friend Heinrich, who + begged to be allowed to bear him company the following night. To this Karl + consented, thinking it would be considerably more agreeable to have a + companion. So they took a couple of bottles of wine and some provisions + with them, and before midnight found themselves snug in the studio. They + sat very quiet for some time, for they knew that if they were seen, two + vampires would not be so terrible as one, and might occasion discovery. + But at length Heinrich could bear it no longer. + </p> + <p> + “I say, Lottchen, let’s go and look; for your dead body. What has the old + beggar done with it?” + </p> + <p> + “I think I know. Stop; let me peep out. All right! Come along.” + </p> + <p> + With a lamp in his hand, he led the way to the cellars, and after + searching about a little they discovered it. + </p> + <p> + “It looks horrid enough,” said Heinrich, “but think a drop or two of wine + would brighten it up a little.” + </p> + <p> + So he took a bottle from his pocket, and after they had had a glass + apiece, he dropped a third in blots all over the plaster. Being red wine, + it had the effect Höllenrachen desired. + </p> + <p> + “When they visit it next, they will know that the vampire can find the + food he prefers,” said he. + </p> + <p> + In a corner close by the plaster, they found the clothes Karl had worn. + </p> + <p> + “Hillo!” said Heinrich, “we’ll make something of this find.” + </p> + <p> + So he carried them with him to the studio. There he got hold of the + lay-figure. + </p> + <p> + “What are you about, Heinrich?” + </p> + <p> + “Going to make a scarecrow to keep the ravens off old Teufel’s pictures,” + answered Heinrich, as he went on dressing the lay-figure in Karl’s + clothes. He next seated the creature at an easel with its back to the + door, so that it should be the first thing the painter should see when he + entered. Karl meant to remove this before he went, for it was too comical + to fall in with the rest of his proceedings. But the two sat down to their + supper, and by the time they had finished the wine, they thought they + should like to go to bed. So they got up and went home, and Karl forgot + the lay-figure, leaving it in busy motionlessness all night before the + easel. When Teufelsbürst saw it, he turned and fled with a cry that + brought his daughter to his help. He rushed past her, able only to + articulate: + </p> + <p> + “The vampire! The vampire! Painting!” + </p> + <p> + Far more courageous than he, because her conscience was more peaceful, + Lilith passed on to the studio. She too recoiled a step or two when she + saw the figure; but with the sight of the back of Karl, as she supposed it + to be, came the longing to see the face that was on the other side. So she + crept round and round by the wall, as far off as she could. The figure + remained motionless. It was a strange kind of shock that she experienced + when she saw the face, disgusting from its inanity. The absurdity next + struck her; and with the absurdity flashed into her mind the conviction + that this was not the doing of a vampire; for of all creatures under the + moon, he could not be expected to be a humorist. A wild hope sprang up in + her mind that Karl was not dead. Of this she soon resolved to make herself + sure. + </p> + <p> + She closed the door of the studio; in the strength of her new hope + undressed the figure, put it in its place, concealed the garments—all + the work of a few minutes; and then, finding her father just recovering + from the worst of his fear, told him there was nothing in the studio but + what ought to be there, and persuaded him to go and see. He not only saw + no one, but found that no further liberties had been taken with his + pictures. Reassured, he soon persuaded himself that the spectre in this + case had been the offspring of his own terror-haunted brain. But he had no + spirit for painting now. He wandered about the house, himself haunting it + like a restless ghost. + </p> + <p> + When night came, Lilith retired to her own room. The waters of fear had + begun to subside in the house; but the painter and his old attendant did + not yet follow her example. + </p> + <p> + As soon, however, as the house was quite still, Lilith glided noiselessly + down the stairs, went into the studio, where as yet there assuredly was no + vampire, and concealed herself in a corner. + </p> + <p> + As it would not do for an earnest student like Heinrich to be away from + his work very often, he had not asked to accompany Lottchen this time. And + indeed Karl himself, a little anxious about the result of the scarecrow, + greatly preferred going alone. + </p> + <p> + While she was waiting for what might happen, the conviction grew upon + Lilith, as she reviewed all the past of the story, that these phenomena + were the work of the real Karl, and of no vampire. In a few moments she + was still more sure of this. Behind the screen where she had taken refuge, + hung one of the pictures out of which her portrait had been painted the + night before last. She had taken a lamp with her into the studio, with the + intention of extinguishing it the moment she heard any sign of approach; + but as the vampire lingered, she began to occupy herself with examining + the picture beside her. She had not looked at it long, before she wetted + the tip of her forefinger, and began to rub away at the obliteration. Her + suspicions were instantly confirmed: the substance employed was only a + gummy wash over the paint. The delight she experienced at the discovery + threw her into a mischievous humour. + </p> + <p> + “I will see,” she said to herself, “whether I cannot match Karl + Wolkenlicht at this game.” + </p> + <p> + In a closet in the room hung a number of costumes, which Lilith had at + different times worn for her father. Among them was a large white drapery, + which she easily disposed as a shroud. With the help of some chalk, she + soon made herself ghastly enough, and then placing her lamp on the floor + behind the screen, and setting a chair over it, so that it should throw no + light in any direction, she waited once more for the vampire. Nor had she + much longer to wait. She soon heard a door move, the sound of which she + hardly knew, and then the studio door opened. Her heart beat dreadfully, + not with fear lest it should be a vampire after all, but with hope that it + was Karl. To see him once more was too great joy. Would she not make up to + him for all her coldness! But would he care for her now? Perhaps he had + been quite cured of his longing for a hard heart like hers. She peeped. It + was he sure enough, looking as handsome as ever. He was holding his light + to look at her last work, and the expression of his face, even in + regarding her handiwork, was enough to let her know that he loved her + still. If she had not seen this, she dared not have shown herself from her + hiding-place. Taking the lamp in her hand, she got upon the chair, and + looked over the screen, letting the light shine from below upon her face. + She then made a slight noise to attract Karl’s attention. He looked up, + evidently rather startled, and saw the face of Lilith in the air: He gave + a stifled cry threw himself on his knees with his arms stretched towards + her, and moaned— + </p> + <p> + “I have killed her! I have killed her!” + </p> + <p> + Lilith descended, and approached him noiselessly. He did not move. She + came close to him and said— + </p> + <p> + “Are you Karl Wolkenlicht?” + </p> + <p> + His lips moved, but no sound came. + </p> + <p> + “If you are a vampire, and I am a ghost,” she said—but a low happy + laugh alone concluded the sentence. + </p> + <p> + Karl sprang to his feet. Lilith’s laugh changed into a burst of sobbing + and weeping, and in another moment the ghost was in the arms of the + vampire. + </p> + <p> + Lilith had no idea how far her father had wronged Karl, and though, from + thinking over the past, he had no doubt that the painter had drugged him, + he did not wish to pain her by imparting this conviction. But Lilith was + afraid of a reaction of rage and hatred in her father after the terror was + removed; and Karl saw that he might thus be deprived of all further + intercourse with Lilith, and all chance of softening the old man’s heart + towards him; while Lilith would not hear of forsaking him who had banished + all the human race but herself. They managed at length to agree upon a + plan of operation. + </p> + <p> + The first thing they did was to go to the cellar where the plaster mass + lay, Karl carrying with him a great axe used for cleaving wood. Lilith + shuddered when she saw it, stained as it was with the wine Heinrich had + spilt over it, and almost believed herself the midnight companion of a + vampire after all, visiting with him the terrible corpse in which he lived + all day. But Karl soon reassured her; and a few good blows of the axe + revealed a very different core to that which Teufelsbürst supposed to be + in it. Karl broke it into pieces, and with Lilith’s help, who insisted on + carrying her share, the whole was soon at the bottom of the Moldau and + every trace of its ever having existed removed. Before morning, too, the + form of Lilith had dawned anew in every picture. There was no time to + restore to its former condition the one Karl had first altered; for in it + the changes were all that they seemed; nor indeed was he capable of + restoring it in the master’s style; but they put it quite out of the way, + and hoped that sufficient time might elapse before the painter thought of + it again. + </p> + <p> + When they had done, and Lilith, for all his entreaties, would remain with + him no longer, Karl took his former clothes with him, and having spent the + rest of the night in his old room, dressed in them in the morning. When + Teufelsbürst entered his studio next day, there sat Karl, as if nothing + had happened, finishing the drawing on which he had been at work when the + fit of insensibility came upon him. The painter started, stared, rubbed + his eyes, thought it was another spectral illusion, and was on the point + of yielding to his terror, when Karl rose, and approached him with a + smile. The healthy, sunshiny countenance of Karl, let him be ghost or + goblin, could not fail to produce somewhat of a tranquillising effect on + Teufelsbürst. He took his offered hand mechanically, his countenance + utterly vacant with idiotic bewilderment. Karl said— + </p> + <p> + “I was not well, and thought it better to pay a visit to a friend for a + few days; but I shall soon make up for lost time, for I am all right now.” + </p> + <p> + He sat down at once, taking no notice of his master’s behaviour, and went + on with his drawing. Teufelsbürst stood staring at him for some minutes + without moving, then suddenly turned and left the room. Karl heard him + hurrying down the cellar stairs. In a few moments he came up again. Karl + stole a glance at him. There he stood in the same spot, no doubt more full + of bewilderment than ever, but it was not possible that his face should + express more. At last he went to his easel, and sat down with a long-drawn + sigh as if of relief. But though he sat at his easel, he painted none that + day; and as often as Karl ventured a glance, he saw him still staring at + him. The discovery that his pictures were restored to their former + condition aided, no doubt, in leading him to the same conclusion as the + other facts, whatever that conclusion might be—probably that he had + been the sport of some evil power, and had been for the greater part of a + week utterly bewitched. Lilith had taken care to instruct the old woman, + with whom she was all-powerful; and as neither of them showed the smallest + traces of the astonishment which seemed to be slowly vitrifying his own + brain, he was at last perfectly satisfied that things had been going on + all right everywhere but in his inner man; and in this conclusion he + certainly was not far wrong, in more senses than one. But when all was + restored again to the old routine, it became evident that the peculiar + direction of his art in which he had hitherto indulged had ceased to + interest him. The shock had acted chiefly upon that part of his mental + being which had been so absorbed. He would sit for hours without doing + anything, apparently plunged in meditation.—Several weeks elapsed + without any change, and both Lilith and Karl were getting dreadfully + anxious about him. Karl paid him every attention; and the old man, for he + now looked much older than before, submitted to receive his services as + well as those of Lilith. At length, one morning, he said in a slow + thoughtful tone— + </p> + <p> + “Karl Wolkenlicht, I should like to paint you.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, sir,” answered Karl, jumping up, “where would you like me to + sit?” + </p> + <p> + So the ice of silence and inactivity was broken, and the painter drew and + painted; and the spring of his art flowed once more; and he made a + beautiful portrait of Karl—a portrait without evil or suffering. And + as soon as he had finished Karl, he began once more to paint Lilith; and + when he had painted her, he composed a picture for the very purpose of + introducing them together; and in this picture there was neither ugliness + nor torture, but human feeling and human hope instead. Then Karl knew that + he might speak to him of Lilith; and he spoke, and was heard with a smile. + But he did not dare to tell him the truth of the vampire story till one + day that Teufelsbürst was lying on the floor of a room in Karl’s ancestral + castle, half smothered in grandchildren; when the only answer it drew from + the old man was a kind of shuddering laugh and the words “Don’t speak of + it, Karl, my boy!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0030" id="link2H_4_0030"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE CASTLE + </h2> + <p> + On the top of a high cliff, forming part of the base of a great mountain, + stood a lofty castle. When or how it was built, no man knew; nor could any + one pretend to understand its architecture. Every one who looked upon it + felt that it was lordly and noble; and where one part seemed not to agree + with another, the wise and modest dared not to call them incongruous, but + presumed that the whole might be constructed on some higher principle of + architecture than they yet understood. What helped them to this conclusion + was, that no one had ever seen the whole of the edifice; that, even of the + portion best known, some part or other was always wrapped in thick folds + of mist from the mountain; and that, when the sun shone upon this mist, + the parts of the building that appeared through the vaporous veil were + strangely glorified in their indistinctness, so that they seemed to belong + to some aerial abode in the land of the sunset; and the beholders could + hardly tell whether they had ever seen them before, or whether they were + now for the first time partially revealed. + </p> + <p> + Nor, although it was inhabited, could certain information be procured as + to its internal construction. Those who dwelt in it often discovered rooms + they had never entered before—yea, once or twice,—whole suites + of apartments, of which only dim legends had been handed down from former + times. Some of them expected to find, one day, secret places, filled with + treasures of wondrous jewels; amongst which they hoped to light upon + Solomon’s ring, which had for ages disappeared from the earth, but which + had controlled the spirits, and the possession of which made a man simply + what a man should be, the king of the world. Now and then, a narrow, + winding stair, hitherto untrodden, would bring them forth on a new turret, + whence new prospects of the circumjacent country were spread out before + them. How many more of these there might be, or how much loftier, no one + could tell. Nor could the foundations of the castle in the rock on which + it was built be determined with the smallest approach to precision. Those + of the family who had given themselves to exploring in that direction, + found such a labyrinth of vaults and passages, and endless successions of + down-going stairs, out of one underground space into a yet lower, that + they came to the conclusion that at least the whole mountain was + perforated and honeycombed in this fashion. They had a dim consciousness, + too, of the presence, in those awful regions, of beings whom they could + not comprehend. Once they came upon the brink of a great black gulf, in + which the eye could see nothing but darkness: they recoiled with horror; + for the conviction flashed upon them that that gulf went down into the + very central spaces of the earth, of which they had hitherto been + wandering only in the upper crust; nay, that the seething blackness before + them had relations mysterious, and beyond human comprehension, with the + far-off voids of space, into which the stars dare not enter. + </p> + <p> + At the foot of the cliff whereon the castle stood, lay a deep lake, + inaccessible save by a few avenues, being surrounded on all sides with + precipices which made the water look very black, although it was pure as + the nightsky. From a door in the castle, which was not to be otherwise + entered, a broad flight of steps, cut in the rock, went down to the lake, + and disappeared below its surface. Some thought the steps went to the very + bottom of the water. + </p> + <p> + Now in this castle there dwelt a large family of brothers and sisters. + They had never seen their father or mother. The younger had been educated + by the elder, and these by an unseen care and ministration, about the + sources of which they had, somehow or other, troubled themselves very + little—for what people are accustomed to, they regard as coming from + nobody; as if help and progress and joy and love were the natural crops of + Chaos or old Night. But Tradition said that one day—it was utterly + uncertain <i>when</i>—their father would come, and leave them no + more; for he was still alive, though where he lived nobody knew. In the + meantime all the rest had to obey their eldest brother, and listen to his + counsels. + </p> + <p> + But almost all the family was very fond of liberty, as they called it; and + liked to run up and down, hither and thither, roving about, with neither + law nor order, just as they pleased. So they could not endure their + brother’s tyranny, as they called it. At one time they said that he was + only one of themselves, and therefore they would not obey him; at another, + that he was not like them, and could not understand them, and <i>therefore</i> + they would not obey him. Yet, sometimes, when he came and looked them full + in the face, they were terrified, and dared not disobey, for he was + stately and stern and strong. Not one of them loved him heartily, except + the eldest sister, who was very beautiful and silent, and whose eyes shone + as if light lay somewhere deep behind them. Even she, although she loved + him, thought him very hard sometimes; for when he had once said a thing + plainly, he could not be persuaded to think it over again. So even she + forgot him sometimes, and went her own ways, and enjoyed herself without + him. Most of them regarded him as a sort of watchman, whose business it + was to keep them in order; and so they were indignant and disliked him. + Yet they all had a secret feeling that they ought to be subject to him; + and after any particular act of disregard, none of them could think, with + any peace, of the old story about the return of their father to his house. + But indeed they never thought much about it, or about their father at all; + for how could those who cared so little for their brother, whom they saw + every day, care for their father whom they had never seen?—One chief + cause of complaint against him was that he interfered with their favourite + studies and pursuits; whereas he only sought to make them give up trifling + with earnest things, and seek for truth, and not for amusement, from the + many wonders around them. He did not want them to turn to other studies, + or to eschew pleasures; but, in those studies, to seek the highest things + most, and other things in proportion to their true worth and nobleness. + This could not fail to be distasteful to those who did not care for what + was higher than they. And so matters went on for a time. They thought they + could do better without their brother; and their brother knew they could + not do at all without him, and tried to fulfil the charge committed into + his hands. + </p> + <p> + At length, one day, for the thought seemed to strike them simultaneously, + they conferred together about giving a great entertainment in their + grandest rooms to any of their neighbours who chose to come, or indeed to + any inhabitants of the earth or air who would visit them. They were too + proud to reflect that some company might defile even the dwellers in what + was undoubtedly the finest palace on the face of the earth. But what made + the thing worse, was, that the old tradition said that these rooms were to + be kept entirely for the use of the owner of the castle. And, indeed, + whenever they entered them, such was the effect of their loftiness and + grandeur upon their minds, that they always thought of the old story, and + could not help believing it. Nor would the brother permit them to forget + it now; but, appearing suddenly amongst them, when they had no expectation + of being interrupted by him, he rebuked them, both for the indiscriminate + nature of their invitation, and for the intention of introducing any one, + not to speak of some who would doubtless make their appearance on the + evening in question, into the rooms kept sacred for the use of the unknown + father. But by this time their talk with each other had so excited their + expectations of enjoyment, which had previously been strong enough, that + anger sprung up within them at the thought of being deprived of their + hopes, and they looked each other in the eyes; and the look said: “We are + many and he is one—let us get rid of him, for he is always finding + fault, and thwarting us in the most innocent pleasures;—as if we + would wish to do anything wrong!” So without a word spoken, they rushed + upon him; and although he was stronger than any of them, and struggled + hard at first, yet they overcame him at last. Indeed some of them thought + he yielded to their violence long before they had the mastery of him; and + this very submission terrified the more tender-hearted amongst them. + However, they bound him; carried him down many stairs, and, having + remembered an iron staple in the wall of a certain vault, with a thick + rusty chain attached to it, they bore him thither, and made the chain fast + around him. There they left him, shutting the great gnarring brazen door + of the vault, as they departed for the upper regions of the castle. + </p> + <p> + Now all was in a tumult of preparation. Every one was talking of the + coming festivity; but no one spoke of the deed they had done. A sudden + paleness overspread the face, now of one, and now of another; but it + passed away, and no one took any notice of it; they only plied the task of + the moment the more energetically. Messengers were sent far and near, not + to individuals or families, but publishing in all places of concourse a + general invitation to any who chose to come on a certain day, and partake + for certain succeeding days of the hospitality of the dwellers in the + castle. Many were the preparations immediately begun for complying with + the invitation. But the noblest of their neighbours refused to appear; not + from pride, but because of the unsuitableness and carelessness of such a + mode. With some of them it was an old condition in the tenure of their + estates, that they should go to no one’s dwelling except visited in + person, and expressly solicited. Others, knowing what sort of persons + would be there, and that, from a certain physical antipathy, they could + scarcely breathe in their company, made up their minds at once not to go. + Yet multitudes, many of them beautiful and innocent as well as gay, + resolved to appear. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile the great rooms of the castle were got in readiness—that + is, they proceeded to deface them with decorations; for there was a + solemnity and stateliness about them in their ordinary condition, which + was at once felt to be unsuitable for the light-hearted company so soon to + move about in them with the self-same carelessness with which men walk + abroad within the great heavens and hills and clouds. One day, while the + workmen were busy, the eldest sister, of whom I have already spoken, + happened to enter, she knew not why. Suddenly the great idea of the mighty + halls dawned upon her, and filled her soul. The so-called decorations + vanished from her view, and she felt as if she stood in her father’s + presence. She was at one elevated and humbled. As suddenly the idea faded + and fled, and she beheld but the gaudy festoons and draperies and + paintings which disfigured the grandeur. She wept and sped away. Now it + was too late to interfere, and things must take their course. She would + have been but a Cassandra-prophetess to those who saw but the pleasure + before them. She had not been present when her brother was imprisoned; and + indeed for some days had been so wrapt in her own business, that she had + taken but little heed of anything that was going on. But they all expected + her to show herself when the company was gathered; and they had applied to + her for advice at various times during their operations. + </p> + <p> + At length the expected hour arrived, and the company began to assemble. It + was a warm summer evening. The dark lake reflected the rose-coloured + clouds in the west, and through the flush rowed many gaily painted boats, + with various coloured flags, towards the massy rock on which the castle + stood. The trees and flowers seemed already asleep, and breathing forth + their sweet dream-breath. Laughter and low voices rose from the breast of + the lake to the ears of the youths and maidens looking forth expectant + from the lofty windows. They went down to the broad platform at the top of + the stairs in front of the door to receive their visitors. By degrees the + festivities of the evening commenced. The same smiles flew forth both at + eyes and lips, darting like beams through the gathering crowd. Music, from + unseen sources, now rolled in billows, now crept in ripples through the + sea of air that filled the lofty rooms. And in the dancing halls, when + hand took hand, and form and motion were moulded and swayed by the + indwelling music, it governed not these alone, but, as the ruling spirit + of the place, every new burst of music for a new dance swept before it a + new and accordant odour, and dyed the flames that glowed in the lofty + lamps with a new and accordant stain. The floors bent beneath the feet of + the time-keeping dancers. But twice in the evening some of the inmates + started, and the pallor occasionally common to the household overspread + their faces, for they felt underneath them a counter-motion to the dance, + as if the floor rose slightly to answer their feet. And all the time their + brother lay below in the dungeon, like John the Baptist in the castle of + Herod, when the lords and captains sat around, and the daughter of + Herodias danced before them. Outside, all around the castle, brooded the + dark night unheeded; for the clouds had come up from all sides, and were + crowding together overhead. In the unfrequent pauses of the music, they + might have heard, now and then, the gusty rush of a lonely wind, coming + and going no one could know whence or whither, born and dying unexpected + and unregarded. + </p> + <p> + But when the festivities were at their height, when the external and + passing confidence which is produced between superficial natures by a + common pleasure was at the full, a sudden crash of thunder quelled the + music, as the thunder quells the noise of the uplifted sea. The windows + were driven in, and torrents of rain, carried in the folds of a rushing + wind, poured into the halls. The lights were swept away; and the great + rooms, now dark within, were darkened yet more by the dazzling shoots of + flame from the vault of blackness overhead. Those that ventured to look + out of the windows saw, in the blue brilliancy of the quick-following jets + of lightning, the lake at the foot of the rock, ordinarily so still and so + dark, lighted up, not on the surface only, but down to half its depth; so + that, as it tossed in the wind, like a tortured sea of writhing flames, or + incandescent half-molten serpents of brass, they could not tell whether a + strong phosphorescence did not issue from the transparent body of the + waters, as if earth and sky lightened together, one consenting source of + flaming utterance. + </p> + <p> + Sad was the condition of the late plastic mass of living form that had + flowed into shape at the will and law of the music. Broken into + individuals, the common transfusing spirit withdrawn, they stood drenched, + cold, and benumbed, with clinging garments; light, order, harmony, purpose + departed, and chaos restored; the issuings of life turned back on their + sources, chilly and dead. And in every heart reigned the falsest of + despairing convictions, that this was the only reality, and that was but a + dream. The eldest sister stood with clasped hands and down-bent head, + shivering and speechless, as if waiting for something to follow. Nor did + she wait long. A terrible flash and thunder-peal made the castle rock; and + in the pausing silence that followed, her quick sense heard the rattling + of a chain far off, deep down; and soon the sound of heavy footsteps, + accompanied with the clanking of iron, reached her ear. She felt that her + brother was at hand. Even in the darkness, and amidst the bellowing of + another deep-bosomed cloud-monster, she knew that he had entered the room. + A moment after, a continuous pulsation of angry blue light began, which, + lasting for some moments, revealed him standing amidst them, gaunt, + haggard, and motionless; his hair and beard untrimmed, his face ghastly, + his eyes large and hollow. The light seemed to gather around him as a + centre. Indeed some believed that it throbbed and radiated from his + person, and not from the stormy heavens above them. The lightning had rent + the wall of his prison, and released the iron staple of his chain, which + he had wound about him like a girdle. In his hand he carried an iron + fetter-bar, which he had found on the floor of the vault. More terrified + at his aspect than at all the violence of the storm, the visitors, with + many a shriek and cry, rushed out into the tempestuous night. By degrees, + the storm died away. Its last flash revealed the forms of the brothers and + sisters lying prostrate, with their faces on the floor, and that fearful + shape standing motionless amidst them still. + </p> + <p> + Morning dawned, and there they lay, and there he stood. But at a word from + him, they arose and went about their various duties, though listlessly + enough. The eldest sister was the last to rise; and when she did, it was + only by a terrible effort that she was able to reach her room, where she + fell again on the floor. There she remained lying for days. The brother + caused the doors of the great suite of rooms to be closed, leaving them + just as they were, with all the childish adornment scattered about, and + the rain still falling in through the shattered windows. “Thus let them + lie,” said he, “till the rain and frost have cleansed them of paint and + drapery: no storm can hurt the pillars and arches of these halls.” + </p> + <p> + The hours of this day went heavily. The storm was gone, but the rain was + left; the passion had departed, but the tears remained behind. Dull and + dark the low misty clouds brooded over the castle and the lake, and shut + out all the neighbourhood. Even if they had climbed to the loftiest known + turret, they would have found it swathed in a garment of clinging vapour, + affording no refreshment to the eye, and no hope to the heart. There was + one lofty tower that rose sheer a hundred feet above the rest, and from + which the fog could have been seen lying in a grey mass beneath; but that + tower they had not yet discovered, nor another close beside it, the top of + which was never seen, nor could be, for the highest clouds of heaven + clustered continually around it. The rain fell continuously, though not + heavily, without; and within, too, there were clouds from which dropped + the tears which are the rain of the spirit. All the good of life seemed + for the time departed, and their souls lived but as leafless trees that + had forgotten the joy of the summer, and whom no wind prophetic of spring + had yet visited. They moved about mechanically, and had not strength + enough left to wish to die. + </p> + <p> + The next day the clouds were higher, and a little wind blew through such + loopholes in the turrets as the false improvements of the inmates had not + yet filled with glass, shutting out, as the storm, so the serene visitings + of the heavens. Throughout the day, the brother took various opportunities + of addressing a gentle command, now to one and now to another of his + family. It was obeyed in silence. The wind blew fresher through the + loopholes and the shattered windows of the great rooms, and found its way, + by unknown passages, to faces and eyes hot with weeping. It cooled and + blessed them.—When the sun arose the next day, it was in a clear + sky. + </p> + <p> + By degrees, everything fell into the regularity of subordination. With the + subordination came increase of freedom. The steps of the more youthful of + the family were heard on the stairs and in the corridors more light and + quick than ever before. Their brother had lost the terrors of aspect + produced by his confinement, and his commands were issued more gently, and + oftener with a smile, than in all their previous history. By degrees his + presence was universally felt through the house. It was no surprise to any + one at his studies, to see him by his side when he lifted up his eyes, + though he had not before known that he was in the room. And although some + dread still remained, it was rapidly vanishing before the advances of a + firm friendship. Without immediately ordering their labours, he always + influenced them, and often altered their direction and objects. The change + soon evident in the household was remarkable. A simpler, nobler expression + was visible on all the countenances. The voices of the men were deeper, + and yet seemed by their very depth more feminine than before; while the + voices of the women were softer and sweeter, and at the same time more + full and decided. Now the eyes had often an expression as if their sight + was absorbed in the gaze of the inward eyes; and when the eyes of two met, + there passed between those eyes the utterance of a conviction that both + meant the same thing. But the change was, of course, to be seen more + clearly, though not more evidently, in individuals. + </p> + <p> + One of the brothers, for instance, was very fond of astronomy. He had his + observatory on a lofty tower, which stood pretty clear of the others, + towards the north and east. But hitherto, his astronomy, as he had called + it, had been more of the character of astrology. Often, too, he might have + been seen directing a heaven-searching telescope to catch the rapid + transit of a fiery shooting-star, belonging altogether to the earthly + atmosphere, and not to the serene heavens. He had to learn that the signs + of the air are not the signs of the skies. Nay, once, his brother + surprised him in the act of examining through his longest tube a patch of + burning heath upon a distant hill. But now he was diligent from morning + till night in the study of the laws of the truth that has to do with + stars; and when the curtain of the sunlight was about to rise from before + the heavenly worlds which it had hidden all day long, he might be seen + preparing his instruments with that solemn countenance with which it + becometh one to look into the mysterious harmonies of Nature. Now he + learned what law and order and truth are, what consent and harmony mean; + how the individual may find his own end in a higher end, where law and + freedom mean the same thing, and the purest certainty exists without the + slightest constraint. Thus he stood on the earth, and looked to the + heavens. + </p> + <p> + Another, who had been much given to searching out the hollow places and + recesses in the foundations of the castle, and who was often to be found + with compass and ruler working away at a chart of the same which he had + been in process of constructing, now came to the conclusion, that only by + ascending the upper regions of his abode could he become capable of + understanding what lay beneath; and that, in all probability, one clear + prospect, from the top of the highest attainable turret, over the castle + as it lay below, would reveal more of the idea of its internal + construction, than a year spent in wandering through its subterranean + vaults. But the fact was, that the desire to ascend wakening within him + had made him forget what was beneath; and having laid aside his chart for + a time at least, he was now to be met in every quarter of the upper parts, + searching and striving upward, now in one direction, now in another; and + seeking, as he went, the best outlooks into the clear air of outer + realities. + </p> + <p> + And they began to discover that they were all meditating different aspects + of the same thing; and they brought together their various discoveries, + and recognised the likeness between them; and the one thing often + explained the other, and combining with it helped to a third. They grew in + consequence more and more friendly and loving; so that every now and then + one turned to another and said, as in surprise, “Why, you are my brother!”—“Why, + you are my sister!” And yet they had always known it. + </p> + <p> + The change reached to all. One, who lived on the air of sweet sounds, and + who was almost always to be found seated by her harp or some other + instrument, had, till the late storm, been generally merry and playful, + though sometimes sad. But for a long time after that, she was often found + weeping, and playing little simple airs which she had heard in childhood—backward + longings, followed by fresh tears. Before long, however, a new element + manifested itself in her music. It became yet more wild, and sometimes + retained all its sadness, but it was mingled with anticipation and hope. + The past and the future merged in one; and while memory yet brought the + rain-cloud, expectation threw the rainbow across its bosom—and all + was uttered in her music, which rose and swelled, now to defiance, now to + victory; then died in a torrent of weeping. + </p> + <p> + As to the eldest sister, it was many days before she recovered from the + shock. At length, one day, her brother came to her, took her by the hand, + led her to an open window, and told her to seat herself by it, and look + out. She did so; but at first saw nothing more than an unsympathising + blaze of sunlight. But as she looked, the horizon widened out, and the + dome of the sky ascended, till the grandeur seized upon her soul, and she + fell on her knees and wept. Now the heavens seemed to bend lovingly over + her, and to stretch out wide cloud-arms to embrace her; the earth lay like + the bosom of an infinite love beneath her, and the wind kissed her cheek + with an odour of roses. She sprang to her feet, and turned, in an agony of + hope, expecting to behold the face of the father, but there stood only her + brother, looking calmly though lovingly on her emotion. She turned again + to the window. On the hilltops rested the sky: Heaven and Earth were one; + and the prophecy awoke in her soul, that from betwixt them would the steps + of the father approach. + </p> + <p> + Hitherto she had seen but Beauty; now she beheld Truth. Often had she + looked on such clouds as these, and loved the strange ethereal curves into + which the winds moulded them; and had smiled as her little pet sister told + her what curious animals she saw in them, and tried to point them out to + her. Now they were as troops of angels, jubilant over her new birth, for + they sang, in her soul, of beauty, and truth, and love. She looked down, + and her little sister knelt beside her. + </p> + <p> + She was a curious child, with black, glittering eyes, and dark hair; at + the mercy of every wandering wind; a frolicsome, daring girl, who laughed + more than she smiled. She was generally in attendance on her sister, and + was always finding and bringing her strange things. She never pulled a + primrose, but she knew the haunts of all the orchis tribe, and brought + from them bees and butterflies innumerable, as offerings to her sister. + Curious moths and glow-worms were her greatest delight; and she loved the + stars, because they were like the glow-worms. But the change had affected + her too; for her sister saw that her eyes had lost their glittering look, + and had become more liquid and transparent. And from that time she often + observed that her gaiety was more gentle, her smile more frequent, her + laugh less bell-like; and although she was as wild as ever, there was more + elegance in her motions, and more music in her voice. And she clung to her + sister with far greater fondness than before. + </p> + <p> + The land reposed in the embrace of the warm summer days. The clouds of + heaven nestled around the towers of the castle; and the hearts of its + inmates became conscious of a warm atmosphere—of a presence of love. + They began to feel like the children of a household, when the mother is at + home. Their faces and forms grew daily more and more beautiful, till they + wondered as they gazed on each other. As they walked in the gardens of the + castle, or in the country around, they were often visited, especially the + eldest sister, by sounds that no one heard but themselves, issuing from + woods and waters; and by forms of love that lightened out of flowers, and + grass, and great rocks. Now and then the young children would come in with + a slow, stately step, and, with great eyes that looked as if they would + devour all the creation, say that they had met the father amongst the + trees, and that he had kissed them; “And,” added one of them once, “I grew + so big!” But when the others went out to look, they could see no one. And + some said it must have been the brother, who grew more and more beautiful, + and loving, and reverend, and who had lost all traces of hardness, so that + they wondered they could ever have thought him stern and harsh. But the + eldest sister held her peace, and looked up, and her eyes filled with + tears. “Who can tell,” thought she, “but the little children know more + about it than we?” + </p> + <p> + Often, at sunrise, might be heard their hymn of praise to their unseen + father, whom they felt to be near, though they saw him not. Some words + thereof once reached my ear through the folds of the music in which they + floated, as in an upward snowstorm of sweet sounds. And these are some of + the words I heard—but there was much I seemed to hear which I could + not understand, and some things which I understood but cannot utter again. + </p> + <p> + “We thank thee that we have a father, and not a maker; that thou hast + begotten us, and not moulded us as images of clay; that we have come forth + of thy heart, and have not been fashioned by thy hands. It <i>must</i> be + so. Only the heart of a father is able to create. We rejoice in it, and + bless thee that we know it. We thank thee for thyself. Be what thou art—our + root and life, our beginning and end, our all in all. Come home to us. + Thou livest; therefore we live. In thy light we see. Thou art—that + is all our song.” + </p> + <p> + Thus they worship, and love, and wait. Their hope and expectation grow + ever stronger and brighter, that one day, ere long, the Father will show + Himself amongst them, and thenceforth dwell in His own house for evermore. + What was once but an old legend has become the one desire of their hearts. + </p> + <p> + And the loftiest hope is the surest of being fulfilled. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0031" id="link2H_4_0031"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE WOW O’RIVEN + </h2> + <p> + Elsie Scott had let her work fall on her knees, and her hands on her work, + and was looking out of the wide, low window of her room, which was on one + of the ground floors of the village street. Through a gap in the household + shrubbery of fuchsias and myrtles filling the window-sill, one passing on + the foot pavement might get a momentary glimpse of her pale face, lighted + up with two blue eyes, over which some inward trouble had spread a faint, + gauze-like haziness. But almost before her thoughts had had time to wander + back to this trouble, a shout of children’s voices, at the other end of + the street, reached her ear. She listened a moment. A shadow of + displeasure and pain crossed her countenance; and rising hastily, she + betook herself to an inner apartment, and closed the door behind her. + </p> + <p> + Meantime the sounds drew nearer; and by and by an old man, whose strange + appearance and dress showed that he had little capacity either for good or + evil, passed the window. His clothes were comfortable enough in quality + and condition, for they were the annual gift of a benevolent lady in the + neighbourhood; but, being made to accommodate his taste, both known and + traditional, they were somewhat peculiar in cut and adornment. Both coat + and trousers were of a dark grey cloth; but the former, which, in its + shape, partook of the military, had a straight collar of yellow, and + narrow cuffs of the same; while upon both sleeves, about the place where a + corporal wears his stripes, was expressed, in the same yellow cloth, a + somewhat singular device. It was as close an imitation of a bell, with its + tongue hanging out of its mouth, as the tailor’s skill could produce from + a single piece of cloth. The origin of the military cut of his coat was + well known. His preference for it arose in the time of the wars of the + first Napoleon, when the threatened invasion of the country caused the + organisation of many volunteer regiments. The martial show and exercises + captivated the poor man’s fancy; and from that time forward nothing + pleased his vanity, and consequently conciliated his goodwill more, than + to style him by his favourite title—the <i>Colonel</i>. But the + badge on his arm had a deeper origin, which will be partially manifest in + the course of the story—if story it can be called. It was, indeed, + the baptism of the fool, the outward and visible sign of his relation to + the infinite and unseen. His countenance, however, although the features + were not of any peculiarly low or animal type, showed no corresponding + sign of the consciousness of such a relation, being as vacant as human + countenance could well be. + </p> + <p> + The cause of Elsie’s annoyance was that the fool was annoyed; he was + followed by a troop of boys, who turned his rank into scorn, and assailed + him with epithets hateful to him. Although the most harmless of creatures + when left alone, he was dangerous when roused; and now he stooped + repeatedly to pick up stones and hurl them at his tormentors, who took + care, while abusing him, to keep at a considerable distance, lest he + should get hold of them. Amidst the sounds of derision that followed him, + might be heard the words frequently repeated—“<i>Come hame, come + hame</i>.” But in a few minutes the noise ceased, either from the + interference of some friendly inhabitant, or that the boys grew weary, and + departed in search of other amusement. By and by, Elsie might be seen + again at her work in the window; but the cloud over her eyes was deeper, + and her whole face more sad. + </p> + <p> + Indeed, so much did the persecution of this poor man affect her, that an + onlooker would have been compelled to seek the cause in some yet deeper + sympathy than that commonly felt for the oppressed, even by women. And + such a sympathy existed, strange as it may seem, between the beautiful + girl (for many called her <i>a bonnie lassie</i>) and this “tatter of + humanity”. Nothing would have been farther from the thoughts of those that + knew them, than the supposition of any correspondence or connection + between them; yet this sympathy sprang in part from a real similarity in + their history and present condition. + </p> + <p> + All the facts that were known about <i>Feel Jock’s</i> origin were these: + that seventy years ago, a man who had gone with his horse and cart some + miles from the village, to fetch home a load of peat from a desolate <i>moss</i>, + had heard, while toiling along as rough a road on as lonely a hillside as + any in Scotland, the cry of a child; and, searching about, had found the + infant, hardly wrapt in rags, and untended, as if the earth herself had + just given birth—that desert moor, wide and dismal, broken and + watery, the only bosom for him to lie upon, and the cold, clear + night-heaven his only covering. The man had brought him home, and the + parish had taken parish-care of him. He had grown up, and proved what he + now was—almost an idiot. Many of the townspeople were kind to him, + and employed him in fetching water for them from the river or wells in the + neighbourhood, paying him for his trouble in victuals, or whisky, of which + he was very fond. He seldom spoke; and the sentences he could utter were + few; yet the tone, and even the words of his limited vocabulary, were + sufficient to express gratitude and some measure of love towards those who + were kind to him, and hatred of those who teased and insulted him. He + lived a life without aim, and apparently to no purpose; in this resembling + most of his more gifted fellow-men, who, with all the tools and materials + necessary for building a noble mansion, are yet content with a clay hut. + </p> + <p> + Elsie, on the contrary, had been born in a comfortable farmhouse, amidst + homeliness and abundance. But at a very early age she had lost both father + and mother; not so early, however, but that she had faint memories of warm + soft times on her mother’s bosom, and of refuge in her mother’s arms from + the attacks of geese, and the pursuit of pigs. Therefore, in after-times, + when she looked forward to heaven, it was as much a reverting to the old + heavenly times of childhood and mother’s love, as an anticipation of + something yet to be revealed. Indeed, without some such memory, how should + we ever picture to ourselves a perfect rest? But sometimes it would seem + as if the more a heart was made capable of loving, the less it had to + love; and poor Elsie, in passing from a mother’s to a brother’s + guardianship, felt a change of spiritual temperature too keen. He was not + a bad man, or incapable of benevolence when touched by the sight of want + in anything of which he would himself have felt the privation; but he was + so coarsely made that only the purest animal necessities affected him, and + a hard word, or unfeeling speech, could never have reached the quick of + his nature through the hide that enclosed it. Elsie, on the contrary, was + excessively and painfully sensitive, as if her nature constantly portended + an invisible multitude of half-spiritual, half-nervous antenna, which + shrank and trembled in every current of air at all below their own + temperature. The effect of this upon her behaviour was such that she was + called odd; and the poor girl felt she was not like other people, yet + could not help it. Her brother, too, laughed at her without the slightest + idea of the pain he occasioned, or the remotest feeling of curiosity as to + what the inward and consistent causes of the outward abnormal condition + might be. Tenderness was the divine comforting she needed; and it was + altogether absent from her brother’s character and behaviour. + </p> + <p> + Her neighbours looked on her with some interest, but they rather shunned + than courted her acquaintance; especially after the return of certain + nervous attacks, to which she had been subject in childhood, and which + were again brought on by the events I must relate. It is curious how + certain diseases repel, by a kind of awe, the sympathies of the + neighbours: as if, by the fact of being subject to them, the patient were + removed into another realm of existence, from which, like the dead with + the living, she can hold communion with those around her only partially, + and with a mixture of dread pervading the intercourse. Thus some of the + deepest, purest wells of spiritual life, are, like those in old castles, + choked up by the decay of the outer walls. But what tended more than + anything, perhaps, to keep up the painful unrest of her soul (for the + beauty of her character was evident in the fact that the irritation seldom + reached her <i>mind</i>), was a circumstance at which, in its present + connection, some of my readers will smile, and others feel a shudder + corresponding in kind to that of Elsie. + </p> + <p> + Her brother was very fond of a rather small, but ferocious-looking + bull-dog, which followed close at his heels, wherever he went, with + hanging head and slouching gait, never leaping or racing about like other + dogs. When in the house, he always lay under his master’s chair. He seemed + to dislike Elsie, and she felt an unspeakable repugnance to him. Though + she never mentioned her aversion, her brother easily saw it by the way in + which she avoided the animal; and attributing it entirely to fear—which + indeed had a great share in the matter—he would cruelly aggravate + it, by telling her stories of the fierce hardihood and relentless + persistency of this kind of animal. He dared not yet further increase her + terror by offering to set the creature upon her, because it was doubtful + whether he might be able to restrain him; but the mental suffering which + he occasioned by this heartless conduct, and for which he had no sympathy, + was as severe as many bodily sufferings to which he would have been sorry + to subject her. Whenever the poor girl happened inadvertently to pass near + the dog, which was seldom, a low growl made her aware of his proximity, + and drove her to a quick retreat. He was, in fact, the animal + impersonation of the animal opposition which she had continually to + endure. Like chooses like; and the bulldog <i>in</i> her brother made + choice of the bull-dog <i>out of</i> him for his companion. So her day was + one of shrinking fear and multiform discomfort. + </p> + <p> + But a nature capable of so much distress, must of necessity be <i>capable</i> + of a corresponding amount of pleasure; and in her case this was manifest + in the fact that sleep and the quiet of her own room restored her + wonderfully. If she were only let alone, a calm mood, filled with images + of pleasure, soon took possession of her mind. + </p> + <p> + Her acquaintance with the fool had commenced some ten years previous to + the time I write of, when she was quite a little girl, and had come from + the country with her brother, who, having taken a small farm close to the + town, preferred residing in the town to occupying the farmhouse, which was + not comfortable. She looked at first with some terror on his uncouth + appearance, and with much wonderment on his strange dress. This wonder was + heightened by a conversation she overheard one day in the street, between + the fool and a little pale-faced boy, who, approaching him respectfully, + said, “Weel, cornel!” “Weel, laddie!” was the reply. “Fat dis the wow say, + cornel?” “Come hame, come hame!” answered the <i>colonel</i>, with both + accent and quantity heaped on the word <i>hame</i>. What the wow could be, + she had no idea; only, as the years passed on, the strange word became in + her mind indescribably associated with the strange shape in yellow cloth + on his sleeves. Had she been a native of the town, she could not have + failed to know its import, so familiar was every one with it, although it + did not belong to the local vocabulary; but, as it was, years passed away + before she discovered its meaning. And when, again and again, the fool, + attempting to convey his gratitude for some kindness she had shown him + mumbled over the words—“<i>The wow o’ Rivven—the wow o’ + Rivven,</i>” the wonder would return as to what could be the idea + associated with them in his mind, but she made no advance towards their + explanation. + </p> + <p> + That, however, which most attracted her to the old man, was his + persecution by the children. They were to him what the bull-dog was to her—the + constant source of irritation and annoyance. They could hardly hurt him, + nor did he appear to dread other injury from them than insult, to which, + fool though he was, he was keenly alive. Human gadflies that they were! + they sometimes stung him beyond endurance, and he would curse them in the + impotence of his anger. Once or twice Elsie had been so far carried beyond + her constitutional timidity, by sympathy for the distress of her friend, + that she had gone out and talked to the boys—even scolded them, so + that they slunk away ashamed, and began to stand as much in dread of her + as of the clutches of their prey. So she, gentle and timid to excess, + acquired among them the reputation of a termagant. Popular opinion among + children, as among men, is of ten just, but as often very unjust; for the + same manifestations may proceed from opposite principles; and, therefore, + as indices to character, may mislead as often as enlighten. + </p> + <p> + Next door to the house in which Elsie resided, dwelt a tradesman and his + wife, who kept an indefinite sort of shop, in which various kinds of goods + were exposed for sale. Their youngest son was about the same age as Elsie; + and while they were rather more than children, and less than young people, + he spent many of his evenings with her, somewhat to the loss of position + in his classes at the parish school. They were, indeed, much attached to + each other; and, peculiarly constituted as Elsie was, one may imagine what + kind of heavenly messenger a companion stronger than herself must have + been to her. In fact, if she could have framed the undefinable need of her + childlike nature into an articulate prayer, it would have been—“Give + me some one to love me stronger than I.” Any love was helpful, yes, in its + degree, saving to her poor troubled soul; but the hope, as they grew older + together, that the powerful, yet tender-hearted youth, really loved her, + and would one day make her his wife, was like the opening of heavenly eyes + of life and love in the hitherto blank and deathlike face of her + existence. But nothing had been said of love, although they met and parted + like lovers. + </p> + <p> + Doubtless, if the circles of their thought and feeling had continued as + now to intersect each other, there would have been no interruption to + their affection; but the time at length arrived when the old couple, + seeing the rest of their family comfortably settled in life, resolved to + make a gentleman of the youngest; and so sent him from school to college. + The facilities existing in Scotland for providing a professional training + enabled them to educate him as a surgeon. He parted from Elsie with some + regret; but, far less dependent on her than she was on him, and full of + the prospects of the future, he felt none of that sinking at the heart + which seemed to lay her whole nature open to a fresh inroad of all the + terrors and sorrows of her peculiar existence. No correspondence took + place between them. New pursuits and relations, and the development of his + tastes and judgments, entirely altered the position of poor Elsie in his + memory. Having been, during their intercourse, far less of a man than she + of a woman, he had no definite idea of the place he had occupied in her + regard; and in his mind she receded into the background of the past, + without his having any idea that she would suffer thereby, or that he was + unjust towards her; while, in her thoughts, his image stood in the highest + and clearest relief. It was the centre-point from which and towards which + all lines radiated and converged; and although she could not but be + doubtful about the future, yet there was much hope mingled with her + doubts. + </p> + <p> + But when, at the close of two years, he visited his native village, and + she saw before her, instead of the homely youth who had left her that + winter evening, one who, to her inexperienced eyes, appeared a finished + gentleman, her heart sank within her, as if she had found Nature herself + false in her ripening processes, destroying the beautiful promise of a + former year by changing instead of developing her creations. He spoke + kindly to her, but not cordially. To her ear the voice seemed to come from + a great distance out of the past; and while she looked upon him, that + optical change passed over her vision, which all have experienced after + gazing abstractedly on any object for a time: his form grew very small, + and receded to an immeasurable distance; till, her imagination mingling + with the twilight haze of her senses, she seemed to see him standing far + off on a hill, with the bright horizon of sunset for a background to his + clearly defined figure. + </p> + <p> + She knew no more till she found herself in bed in the dark; and the first + message that reached her from the outer world was the infernal growl of + the bull-dog from the room below. Next day she saw her lover walking with + two ladies, who would have thought it some degree of condescension to + speak to her; and he passed the house without once looking towards it. + </p> + <p> + One who is sufficiently possessed by the demon of nervousness to be glad + of the magnetic influences of a friend’s company in a public promenade, or + of a horse beneath him in passing through a churchyard, will have some + faint idea of how utterly exposed and defenceless poor Elsie now felt on + the crowded thoroughfare of life. And so the insensibility which had + overtaken her, was not the ordinary swoon with which Nature relieves the + overstrained nerves, but the return of the epileptic fits of her early + childhood; and if the condition of the poor girl had been pitiable before, + it was tenfold more so now. Yet she did not complain, but bore all in + silence, though it was evident that her health was giving way. But now, + help came to her from a strange quarter; though many might not be willing + to accord the name of help to that which rather hastened than retarded the + progress of her decline. + </p> + <p> + She had gone to spend a few of the summer days with a relative in the + country, some miles from her home, if home it could be called. One + evening, towards sunset, she went out for a solitary walk. Passing from + the little garden gate, she went along a bare country road for some + distance, and then, turning aside by a footpath through a thicket of low + trees, she came out in a lonely little churchyard on the hillside. Hardly + knowing whether or not she had intended to go there, she seated herself on + a mound covered with long grass, one of many. Before her stood the ruins + of an old church which was taking centuries to crumble. Little remained + but the gable wall, immensely thick, and covered with ancient ivy. The + rays of the setting sun fell on a mound at its foot, not green like the + rest, but of a rich red-brown in the rosy sunset, and evidently but newly + heaped up. Her eyes, too, rested upon it. Slowly the sun sank below the + near horizon. + </p> + <p> + As the last brilliant point disappeared, the ivy darkened, and a wind + arose and shook all its leaves, making them look cold and troubled; and to + Elsie’s ear came a low faint sound, as from a far-off bell. But close + beside her—and she started and shivered at the sound—rose a + deep, monotonous, almost sepulchral voice, “<i>Come hame, come hame! The + wow, the wow</i>!” + </p> + <p> + At once she understood the whole. She sat in the churchyard of the ancient + parish church of Ruthven; and when she lifted up her eyes, there she saw, + in the half-ruined belfry, the old bell, all but hidden with ivy, which + the passing wind had roused to utter one sleepy tone; and there beside + her, stood the fool with the bell on his arm; and to him and to her the <i>wow + o’ Rivven</i> said, “<i>Come hame, come hame</i>!” Ah, what did she want + in the whole universe of God but a home? And though the ground beneath was + hard, and the sky overhead far and boundless, and the hillside lonely and + companionless, yet somewhere within the visible and beyond these the outer + surface of creation, there might be a home for her; as round the wintry + house the snows lie heaped up cold and white and dreary all the long <i>forenight</i>, + while within, beyond the closed shutters, and giving no glimmer through + the thick stone wall, the fires are blazing joyously, and the voice and + laughter of young unfrozen children are heard, and nothing belongs to + winter but the grey hairs on the heads of the parents, within whose warm + hearts childlike voices are heard, and childlike thoughts move to and fro. + The kernel of winter itself is spring, or a sleeping summer. + </p> + <p> + It was no wonder that the fool, cast out of the earth on a far more + desolate spot than this, should seek to return within her bosom at this + place of open doors, and should call it <i>home</i>. For surely the + surface of the earth had no home for him. The mound at the foot of the + gable contained the body of one who had shown him kindness. He had + followed the funeral that afternoon from the town, and had remained behind + with the bell. Indeed it was his custom, though Elsie had not known it, to + follow every funeral going to this, his favourite churchyard of Ruthven; + and, possibly in imitation of its booming, for it was still tolled at the + funerals, he had given the old bell the name of <i>the wow</i>, and had + translated its monotonous clangour into the articulate sounds—<i>come + hame, come hame</i>. What precise meaning he attached to the words, it is + impossible to say; but it was evident that the place possessed a strange + attraction for him, drawing him towards it by the cords of some spiritual + magnetism. It is possible that in the mind of the idiot there may have + been some feeling about this churchyard and bell, which, in the mind of + another, would have become a grand poetic thought; a feeling as if the + ghostly old bell hung at the church door of the invisible world, and ever + and anon rung out joyous notes (though they sounded sad in the ears of the + living), calling to the children of the unseen to <i>come home, come home</i>. + She sat for some time in silence; for the bell did not ring again, and the + fool spoke no more; till the dews began to fall, when she rose and went + home, followed by her companion, who passed the night in the barn. From + that hour Elsie was furnished with a visual image of the rest she sought; + an image which, mingling with deeper and holier thoughts, became, like the + bow set in the cloud, the earthly pledge and sign of the fulfilment of + heavenly hopes. Often when the wintry fog of cold discomfort and + homelessness filled her soul, all at once the picture of the little + churchyard—with the old gable and belfry, and the slanting sunlight + steeping down to the very roots of the long grass on the graves—arose + in the darkened chamber (<i>camera obscura,</i>) of her soul; and again + she heard the faint Aeolian sound of the bell, and the voice of the + prophet-fool who interpreted the oracle; and the inward weariness was + soothed by the promise of a long sleep. Who can tell how many have been + counted fools simply because they were prophets; or how much of the + madness in the world may be the utterance of thoughts true and just, but + belonging to a region differing from ours in its nature and scenery! + </p> + <p> + But to Elsie looking out of her window came the mocking tones of the idle + boys who had chosen as the vehicle of their scorn the very words which + showed the relation of the fool to the eternal, and revealed in him an + element higher far than any yet developed in them. They turned his glory + into shame, like the enemies of David when they mocked the would-be king. + And the best in a man is often that which is most condemned by those who + have not attained to his goodness. The words, however, even as repeated by + the boys, had not solely awakened indignation at the persecution of the + old man: they had likewise comforted her with the thought of the refuge + that awaited both him and her. + </p> + <p> + But the same evening a worse trial was in store for her. Again she sat + near the window, oppressed by the consciousness that her brother had come + in. He had gone upstairs, and his dog had remained at the door, exchanging + surly compliments with some of his own kind, when the fool came strolling + past, and, I do not know from what cause, the dog flew at him. Elsie heard + his cry and looked up. Her fear of the brute vanished in a moment before + her sympathy for her friend. She darted from the house, and rushed towards + the dog to drag him off the defenceless idiot, calling him by his name in + a tone of anger and dislike. He left the fool, and, springing at Elsie, + seized her by the arm above the elbow with such a grip that, in the midst + of her agony, she fancied she heard the bone crack. But she uttered no + cry, for the most apprehensive are sometimes the most courageous. Just + then, however, her former lover was coming along the street, and, catching + a glimpse of what had happened, was on the spot in an instant, took the + dog by the throat with a gripe not inferior to his own, and having thus + compelled him to relax his hold, dashed him on the ground with a force + that almost stunned him, and then with a superadded kick sent him away + limping and howling; whereupon the fool, attacking him furiously with a + stick, would certainly have finished him, had not his master descried his + plight and come to his rescue. + </p> + <p> + Meantime the young surgeon had carried Elsie into the house; for, as soon + as she was rescued from the dog, she had fallen down in one of her fits, + which were becoming more and more frequent of themselves, and little + needed such a shock as this to increase their violence. He was dressing + her arm when she began to recover; and when she opened her eyes, in a + state of half-consciousness, he first object she beheld was his face + bending over her. Recalling nothing of what had occurred, it seemed to + her, in the dreamy condition in which the fit had left her, the same face, + unchanged, which had once shone in upon her tardy springtime, and promised + to ripen it into summer. She forgot it had departed and left her in the + wintry cold. And so she uttered wild words of love and trust; and the + youth, while stung with remorse at his own neglect, was astonished to + perceive the poetic forms of beauty in which the soul of the uneducated + maiden burst into flower. But as her senses recovered themselves, the face + gradually changed to her, as if the slow alteration of two years had been + phantasmagorically compressed into a few moments; and the glow departed + from the maiden’s thoughts and words, and her soul found itself at the + narrow window of the present, from which she could behold but a dreary + country.—From the street came the iambic cry of the fool, <i>“Come + hame, come hame.”</i> + </p> + <p> + Tycho Brahe, I think, is said to have kept a fool, who frequently sat at + his feet in his study, and to whose mutterings he used to listen in the + pauses of his own thought. The shining soul of the astronomer drew forth + the rainbow of harmony from the misty spray of words ascending ever from + the dark gulf into which the thoughts of the idiot were ever falling. He + beheld curious concurrences of words therein; and could read strange + meanings from them—sometimes even received wondrous hints for the + direction of celestial inquiry, from what, to any other, and it may be to + the fool himself, was but a ceaseless and aimless babble. Such power lieth + in words. It is not then to be wondered at, that the sounds I have + mentioned should fall on the ears of Elsie, at such a moment, as a message + from God Himself. This then—all this dreariness—was but a + passing show like the rest, and there lay somewhere for her a reality—a + home. The tears burst up from her oppressed heart. She received the + message, and prepared to go home. From that time her strength gradually + sank, but her spirits as steadily rose. + </p> + <p> + The strength of the fool, too, began to fail, for he was old. He bore all + the signs of age, even to the grey hairs, which betokened no wisdom. But + one cannot say what wisdom might be in him, or how far he had fought his + own battle, and been victorious. Whether any notion of a continuance of + life and thought dwelt in his brain, it is impossible to tell; but he + seemed to have the idea that this was not his home; and those who saw him + gradually approaching his end, might well anticipate for him a higher life + in the world to come. He had passed through this world without ever + awaking to such a consciousness of being as is common to mankind. He had + spent his years like a weary dream through a long night—a strange, + dismal, unkindly dream; and now the morning was at hand. Often in his + dream had he listened with sleepy senses to the ringing of the bell, but + that bell would awake him at last. He was like a seed buried too deep in + the soil, to which the light has never penetrated, and which, therefore, + has never forced its way upwards to the open air, ever experienced the + resurrection of the dead. But seeds will grow ages after they have fallen + into the earth; and, indeed, with many kinds, and within some limits, the + older the seed before it germinates, the more plentiful the fruit. And may + it not be believed of many human beings, that, the Great Husbandman having + sown them like seeds in the soil of human affairs, there they lie buried a + life long; and only after the upturning of the soil by death reach a + position in which the awakening of their aspiration and the consequent + growth become possible. Surely He has made nothing in vain. + </p> + <p> + A violent cold and cough brought him at last near to his end, and hearing + that he was ill, Elsie ventured one bright spring day to go to see him. + When she entered the miserable room where he lay, he held out his hand to + her with something like a smile, and muttered feebly and painfully, “I’m + gaein’ to the wow, nae to come back again.” Elsie could not restrain her + tears; while the old man, looking fixedly at her, though with meaningless + eyes, muttered, for the last time, “<i>Come hame! come hame!</i>” and sank + into a lethargy, from which nothing could rouse him, till, next morning, + he was waked by friendly death from the long sleep of this world’s night. + They bore him to his favourite churchyard, and buried him within the site + of the old church, below his loved bell, which had ever been to him as the + cuckoo-note of a coming spring. Thus he at length obeyed its summons, and + went home. + </p> + <p> + Elsie lingered till the first summer days lay warm on the land. Several + kind hearts in the village, hearing of her illness, visited her and + ministered to her. Wondering at her sweetness and patience, they regretted + they had not known her before. How much consolation might not their + kindness have imparted, and how much might not their sympathy have + strengthened her on her painful road! But they could not long have delayed + her going home. Nor, mentally constituted as she was, would this have been + at all to be desired. Indeed it was chiefly the expectation of departure + that quieted and soothed her tremulous nature. It is true that a deep + spring of hope and faith kept singing on in her heart, but this alone, + without the anticipation of speedy release, could only have kept her mind + at peace. It could not have reached, at least for a long time, the border + land between body and mind, in which her disease lay. + </p> + <p> + One still night of summer, the nurse who watched by her bedside heard her + murmur through her sleep, “I hear it: <i>come hame—come hame</i>. + I’m comin’, I’m comin’—I’m gaein’ hame to the wow, nae to come + back.” She awoke at the sound of her own words, and begged the nurse to + convey to her brother her last request, that she might be buried by the + side of the fool, within the old church of Ruthven. Then she turned her + face to the wall, and in the morning was found quiet and cold. She must + have died within a few minutes after her last words. She was buried + according to her request; and thus she too went home. + </p> + <p> + Side by side rest the aged fool and the young maiden; for the bell called + them, and they obeyed; and surely they found the fire burning bright, and + heard friendly voices, and felt sweet lips on theirs, in the home to which + they went. Surely both intellect and love were waiting them there. + </p> + <p> + Still the old bell hangs in the old gable; and whenever another is borne + to the old churchyard, it keeps calling to those who are left behind, with + the same sad, but friendly and unchanging voice—<i>“Come hame! come + hame! come hame!”</i> + </p> + <p> + “Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: + for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy + mourning shall be ended.”—ISA. LX 20. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0032" id="link2H_4_0032"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE BROKEN SWORDS + </h2> + <p> + The eyes of three, two sisters and a brother, gazed for the last time on a + great pale-golden star, that followed the sun down the steep west. It went + down to arise again; and the brother about to depart might return, but + more than the usual doubt hung upon his future. For between the white + dresses of the sisters, shone his scarlet coat and golden sword-knot, + which he had put on for the first time, more to gratify their pride than + his own vanity. The brightening moon, as if prophetic of a future memory, + had already begun to dim the scarlet and the gold, and to give them a + pale, ghostly hue. In her thoughtful light the whole group seemed more + like a meeting in the land of shadows, than a parting in the substantial + earth. But which should be called the land of realities?—the region + where appearance, and space, and time drive between, and stop the flowing + currents of the soul’s speech? or that region where heart meets heart, and + appearance has become the slave to utterance, and space and time are + forgotten? + </p> + <p> + Through the quiet air came the far-off rush of water, and the near cry of + the land-rail. Now and then a chilly wind blew unheeded through the + startled and jostling leaves that shaded the ivy-seat. Else, there was + calm everywhere, rendered yet deeper and more intense by the dusky sorrow + that filled their hearts. For, far away, hundreds of miles beyond the + hearing of their ears, roared the great war-guns; next week their brother + must sail with his regiment to join the army; and tomorrow he must leave + his home. + </p> + <p> + The sisters looked on him tenderly, with vague fears about his fate. Yet + little they divined it. That the face they loved might lie pale and + bloody, in a heap of slain, was the worst image of it that arose before + them; but this, had they seen the future, they would, in ignorance of the + further future, have infinitely preferred to that which awaited him. And + even while they looked on him, a dim feeling of the unsuitableness of his + lot filled their minds. For, indeed, to all judgments it must have seemed + unsuitable that the home-boy, the loved of his mother, the pet of his + sisters, who was happy womanlike (as Coleridge says), if he possessed the + signs of love, having never yet sought for its proofs—that he should + be sent amongst soldiers, to command and be commanded; to kill, or perhaps + to be himself crushed out of the fair earth in the uproar that brings back + for the moment the reign of Night and Chaos. No wonder that to his sisters + it seemed strange and sad. Yet such was their own position in the battle + of life, in which their father had died with doubtful conquest, that when + their old military uncle sent the boy an ensign’s commission, they did not + dream of refusing the only path open, as they thought, to an honourable + profession, even though it might lead to the trench-grave. They heard it + as the voice of destiny, wept, and yielded. + </p> + <p> + If they had possessed a deeper insight into his character, they would have + discovered yet further reason to doubt the fitness of the profession + chosen for him; and if they had ever seen him at school, it is possible + the doubt of fitness might have strengthened into a certainty of + incongruity. His comparative inactivity amongst his schoolfellows, though + occasioned by no dulness of intellect, might have suggested the necessity + of a quiet life, if inclination and liking had been the arbiters in the + choice. Nor was this inactivity the result of defective animal spirits + either, for sometimes his mirth and boyish frolic were unbounded; but it + seemed to proceed from an over-activity of the inward life, absorbing, and + in some measure checking, the outward manifestation. He had so much to do + in his own hidden kingdom, that he had not time to take his place in the + polity and strife of the commonwealth around him. Hence, while other boys + were acting, he was thinking. In this point of difference, he felt keenly + the superiority of many of his companions; for another boy would have the + obstacle overcome, or the adversary subdued, while he was meditating on + the propriety, or on the means, of effecting the desired end. He envied + their promptitude, while they never saw reason to envy his wisdom; for his + conscience, tender and not strong, frequently transformed slowness of + determination into irresolution: while a delicacy of the sympathetic + nerves tended to distract him from any predetermined course, by the + diversity of their vibrations, responsive to influences from all quarters, + and destructive to unity of purpose. + </p> + <p> + Of such a one, the <i>a priori</i> judgment would be, that he ought to be + left to meditate and grow for some time, before being called upon to + produce the fruits of action. But add to these mental conditions a vivid + imagination, and a high sense of honour, nourished in childhood by the + reading of the old knightly romances, and then put the youth in a position + in which action is imperative, and you have elements of strife sufficient + to reduce that fair kingdom of his to utter anarchy and madness. Yet so + little, do we know ourselves, and so different are the symbols with which + the imagination works its algebra, from the realities which those symbols + represent, that as yet the youth felt no uneasiness, but contemplated his + new calling with a glad enthusiasm and some vanity; for all his prospect + lay in the glow of the scarlet and the gold. Nor did this excitement + receive any check till the day before his departure, on which day I have + introduced him to my readers, when, accidently taking up a newspaper of a + week old, his eye fell on these words—“<i>Already crying women are + to be met in the streets</i>.” With this cloud afar on his horizon, which, + though no bigger than a man’s hand, yet cast a perceptible shadow over his + mind, he departed next morning. The coach carried him beyond the + consecrated circle of home laws and impulses, out into the great tumult, + above which rises ever and anon the cry of Cain, “Am I my brother’s + keeper?” + </p> + <p> + Every tragedy of higher order, constructed in Christian times, will + correspond more or less to the grand drama of the Bible; wherein the first + act opens with a brilliant sunset vision of Paradise, in which childish + sense and need are served with all the profusion of the indulgent nurse. + But the glory fades off into grey and black, and night settles down upon + the heart which, rightly uncontent with the childish, and not having yet + learned the childlike, seeks knowledge and manhood as a thing denied by + the Maker, and yet to be gained by the creature; so sets forth alone to + climb the heavens, and instead of climbing, falls into the abyss. Then + follows the long dismal night of feverish efforts and delirious visions, + or, it may be, helpless despair; till at length a deeper stratum of the + soul is heaved to the surface; and amid the first dawn of morning, the + youth says within him, “I have sinned against my <i>Maker</i>—I will + arise and go to my <i>Father</i>.” More or less, I say, will Christian + tragedy correspond to this—a fall and a rising again; not a rising + only, but a victory; not a victory merely, but a triumph. Such, in its way + and degree, is my story. I have shown, in one passing scene, the home + paradise; now I have to show a scene of a far differing nature. + </p> + <p> + The young ensign was lying in his tent, weary, but wakeful. All day long + the cannon had been bellowing against the walls of the city, which now lay + with wide, gaping breach, ready for the morrow’s storm, but covered yet + with the friendly darkness. His regiment was ordered to be ready with the + earliest dawn to march up to the breach. That day, for the first time, + there had been blood on his sword—there the sword lay, a spot on the + chased hilt still. He had cut down one of the enemy in a skirmish with a + sally party of the besieged and the look of the man as he fell, haunted + him. He felt, for the time, that he dared not pray to the Father, for the + blood of a brother had rushed forth at the stroke of his arm, and there + was one fewer of living souls on the earth because he lived thereon. And + to-morrow he must lead a troop of men up to that poor disabled town, and + turn them loose upon it, not knowing what might follow in the triumph of + enraged and victorious foes, who for weeks had been subjected, by the + constancy of the place, to the greatest privations. It was true the + general had issued his commands against all disorder and pillage; but if + the soldiers once yielded to temptation, what might not be done before the + officers could reclaim them! All the wretched tales he had read of the + sack of cities rushed back on his memory. He shuddered as he lay. Then his + conscience began to speak, and to ask what right he had to be there.—Was + the war a just one?—He could not tell; for this was a bad time for + settling nice questions. But there he was, right or wrong, fighting and + shedding blood on God’s earth, beneath God’s heaven. + </p> + <p> + Over and over he turned the question in his mind; again and again the + spouting blood of his foe, and the death-look in his eye, rose before him; + and the youth who at school could never fight with a companion because he + was not sure that he was in the right, was alone in the midst of + undoubting men of war, amongst whom he was driven helplessly along, upon + the waves of a terrible necessity. What wonder that in the midst of these + perplexities his courage should fail him! What wonder that the + consciousness of fainting should increase the faintness! or that the dread + of fear and its consequences should hasten and invigorate its attacks! To + crown all, when he dropped into a troubled slumber at length, he found + himself hurried, as on a storm of fire, through the streets of the + captured town, from all the windows of which looked forth familiar faces, + old and young, but distorted from the memory of his boyhood by fear and + wild despair. On one spot lay the body of his father, with his face to the + earth; and he woke at the cry of horror and rage that burst from his own + lips, as he saw the rough, bloody hand of a soldier twisted in the loose + hair of his elder sister, and the younger fainting in the arms of a + scoundrel belonging to his own regiment. He slept no more. As the grey + morning broke, the troops appointed for the attack assembled without sound + of trumpet or drum, and were silently formed in fitting order. The young + ensign was in his place, weary and wretched after his miserable night. + Before him he saw a great, broad-shouldered lieutenant, whose brawny hand + seemed almost too large for his sword-hilt, and in any one of whose limbs + played more animal life than in the whole body of the pale youth. The + firm-set lips of this officer, and the fire of his eye, showed a + concentrated resolution, which, by the contrast, increased the misery of + the ensign, and seemed, as if the stronger absorbed the weaker, to draw + out from him the last fibres of self-possession: the sight of unattainable + determination, while it increased the feeling of the arduousness of that + which required such determination, threw him into the great gulf which lay + between him and it. In this disorder of his nervous and mental condition, + with a doubting conscience and a shrinking heart, is it any wonder that + the terrors which lay before him at the gap in those bristling walls, + should draw near, and, making sudden inroad upon his soul, overwhelm the + government of a will worn out by the tortures of an unassured spirit? What + share fear contributed to unman him, it was impossible for him, in the + dark, confused conflict of differing emotions, to determine; but doubtless + a natural shrinking from danger, there being no excitement to deaden its + influence, and no hope of victory to encourage to the struggle, seeing + victory was dreadful to him as defeat, had its part in the sad result. + Many men who have courage, are dependent on ignorance and a low state of + the moral feeling for that courage; and a further progress towards the + development of the higher nature would, for a time at least, entirely + overthrow it. Nor could such loss of courage be rightly designated by the + name of cowardice. But, alas! the colonel happened to fix his eyes upon + him as he passed along the file; and this completed his confusion. He + betrayed such evident symptoms of perturbation, that that officer ordered + him under arrest; and the result was, that, chiefly for the sake of + example to the army, he was, upon trial by court-martial, expelled from + the service, and had his sword broken over his head. Alas for the delicate + minded youth! Alas for the home-darling! + </p> + <p> + Long after, he found at the bottom of his chest the pieces of the broken + sword, and remembered that, at the time, he had lifted them from the + ground and carried them away. But he could not recall under what impulse + he had done so. Perhaps the agony he suffered, passing the bounds of + mortal endurance, had opened for him a vista into the eternal, and had + shown him, if not the injustice of the sentence passed upon him, yet his + freedom from blame, or, endowing him with dim prophetic vision, had given + him the assurance that some day the stain would be wiped from his soul, + and leave him standing clear before the tribunal of his own honour. Some + feeling like this, I say, may have caused him, with a passing gleam of + indignant protest, to lift the fragments from the earth, and carry them + away; even as the friends of a so-called traitor may bear away his + mutilated body from the wheel. But if such was the case, the vision was + soon overwhelmed and forgotten in the succeeding anguish. He could not see + that, in mercy to his doubting spirit, the question which had agitated his + mind almost to madness, and which no results of the impending conflict + could have settled for him, was thus quietly set aside for the time; nor + that, painful as was the dark, dreadful existence that he was now to pass + in self-torment and moaning, it would go by, and leave his spirit clearer + far, than if, in his apprehension, it had been stained with further + blood-guiltiness, instead of the loss of honour. Years after, when he + accidentally learned that on that very morning the whole of his company, + with parts of several more, had, or ever they began to mount the breach, + been blown to pieces by the explosion of a mine, he cried aloud in + bitterness, “Would God that my fear had not been discovered before I + reached that spot!” But surely it is better to pass into the next region + of life having reaped some assurance, some firmness of character, + determination of effort, and consciousness of the worth of life, in the + present world; so approaching the future steadily and faithfully, and if + in much darkness and ignorance, yet not in the oscillations of moral + uncertainty. + </p> + <p> + Close upon the catastrophe followed a torpor, which lasted he did not know + how long, and which wrapped in a thick fog all the succeeding events. For + some time he can hardly be said to have had any conscious history. He + awoke to life and torture when half-way across the sea towards his native + country, where was no home any longer for him. To this point, and no + farther, could his thoughts return in after years. But the misery which he + then endured is hardly to be understood, save by those of like delicate + temperament with himself. All day long he sat silent in his cabin; nor + could any effort of the captain, or others on board, induce him to go on + deck till night came on, when, under the starlight, he ventured into the + open air. The sky soothed him then, he knew not how. For the face of + nature is the face of God, and must bear expressions that can influence, + though unconsciously to them, the most ignorant and hopeless of His + children. Often did he watch the clouds in hope of a storm, his spirit + rising and falling as the sky darkened or cleared; he longed, in the + necessary selfishness of such suffering, for a tumult of waters to swallow + the vessel; and only the recollection of how many lives were involved in + its safety besides his own, prevented him from praying to God for + lightning and tempest, borne on which he might dash into the haven of the + other world. One night, following a sultry calm day, he thought that Mercy + had heard his unuttered prayer. The air and sea were intense darkness, + till a light as intense for one moment annihilated it, and the succeeding + darkness seemed shattered with the sharp reports of the thunder that + cracked without reverberation. He who had shrunk from battle with his + fellow-men, rushed to the mainmast, threw himself on his knees, and + stretched forth his arms in speechless energy of supplication; but the + storm passed away overhead, and left him kneeling still by the uninjured + mast. At length the vessel reached her port. He hurried on shore to bury + himself in the most secret place he could find. <i>Out of sight</i> was + his first, his only thought. Return to his mother he would not, he could + not; and, indeed, his friends never learned his fate, until it had carried + him far beyond their reach. + </p> + <p> + For several weeks he lurked about like a malefactor, in low lodging-houses + in narrow streets of the seaport to which the vessel had borne him, + heeding no one, and but little shocked at the strange society and + conversation with which, though only in bodily presence, he had to mingle. + These formed the subjects of reflection in after times; and he came to the + conclusion that, though much evil and much misery exist, sufficient to + move prayers and tears in those who love their kind, yet there is less of + both than those looking down from a more elevated social position upon the + weltering heap of humanity, are ready to imagine; especially if they + regard it likewise from the pedestal of self-congratulation on which a + meagre type of religion has elevated them. But at length his little stock + of money was nearly expended, and there was nothing that he could do, or + learn to do, in this seaport. He felt impelled to seek manual labour, + partly because he thought it more likely he could obtain that sort of + employment, without a request for reference as to his character, which + would lead to inquiry about his previous history; and partly, perhaps, + from an instinctive feeling that hard bodily labour would tend to lessen + his inward suffering. + </p> + <p> + He left the town, therefore, at nightfall of a July day, carrying a little + bundle of linen, and the remains of his money, somewhat augmented by the + sale of various articles of clothing and convenience, which his change of + life rendered superfluous and unsuitable. He directed his course + northwards, travelling principally by night—so painfully did he + shrink from the gaze even of foot-farers like himself; and sleeping during + the day in some hidden nook of wood or thicket, or under the shadow of a + great tree in a solitary field. So fine was the season, that for three + successive weeks he was able to travel thus without inconvenience, lying + down when the sun grew hot in the forenoon, and generally waking when the + first faint stars were hesitating in the great darkening heavens that + covered and shielded him. For above every cloud, above every storm, rise + up, calm, clear, divine, the deep infinite skies; they embrace the tempest + even as the sunshine; by their permission it exists within their boundless + peace: therefore it cannot hurt, and must pass away, while there they + stand as ever, domed up eternally, lasting, strong, and pure. + </p> + <p> + Several times he attempted to get agricultural employment; but the + whiteness of his hands and the tone of his voice not merely suggested + unfitness for labour, but generated suspicion as to the character of one + who had evidently dropped from a rank so much higher, and was seeking + admittance within the natural masonic boundaries and secrets and + privileges of another. Disheartened somewhat, but hopeful, he journeyed + on. I say hopeful; for the blessed power of life in the universe in fresh + air and sunshine absorbed by active exercise, in winds, yea in rain, + though it fell but seldom, had begun to work its natural healing, soothing + effect, upon his perturbed spirit. And there was room for hope in his new + endeavour. As his bodily strength increased, and his health, considerably + impaired by inward suffering, improved, the trouble of his soul became + more endurable—and in some measure to endure is to conquer and + destroy. In proportion as the mind grows in the strength of patience, the + disturber of its peace sickens and fades away. At length, one day, a widow + lady in a village through which his road led him, gave him a day’s work in + her garden. He laboured hard and well, notwithstanding his soon-blistered + hands, received his wages thankfully, and found a resting-place for the + night on the low part of a haystack from which the upper portion had been + cut away. Here he ate his supper of bread and cheese, pleased to have + found such comfortable quarters, and soon fell fast asleep. + </p> + <p> + When he awoke, the whole heavens and earth seemed to give a full denial to + sin and sorrow. The sun was just mounting over the horizon, looking up the + clear cloud-mottled sky. From millions of water-drops hanging on the + bending stalks of grass, sparkled his rays in varied refraction, + transformed here to a gorgeous burning ruby, there to an emerald, green as + the grass, and yonder to a flashing, sunny topaz. The chanting priest-lark + had gone up from the low earth, as soon as the heavenly light had begun to + enwrap and illumine the folds of its tabernacle; and had entered the high + heavens with his offering, whence, unseen, he now dropped on the earth the + sprinkled sounds of his overflowing blessedness. The poor youth rose but + to kneel, and cry, from a bursting heart, “Hast Thou not, O Father, some + care for me? Canst Thou not restore my lost honour? Can anything befall + Thy children for which Thou hast no help? Surely, if the face of Thy world + lie not, joy and not grief is at the heart of the universe. Is there none + for me?” + </p> + <p> + The highest poetic feeling of which we are now conscious, springs not from + the beholding of perfected beauty, but from the mute sympathy which the + creation with all its children manifests with us in the groaning and + travailing which look for the sonship. Because of our need and aspiration, + the snowdrop gives birth in our hearts to a loftier spiritual and poetic + feeling, than the rose most complete in form, colour, and odour. The rose + is of Paradise—the snowdrop is of the striving, hoping, longing + Earth. Perhaps our highest poetry is the expression of our aspirations in + the sympathetic forms of visible nature. Nor is this merely a longing for + a restored Paradise; for even in the ordinary history of men, no man or + woman that has fallen, can be restored to the position formerly held. Such + must rise to a yet higher place, whence they can behold their former + standing far beneath their feet. They must be restored by the attainment + of something better than they ever possessed before, or not at all. If the + law be a weariness, we must escape it by taking refuge with the spirit, + for not otherwise can we fulfil the law than by being above the law. To + escape the overhanging rocks of Sinai, we must climb to its secret top. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Is thy strait horizon dreary? + Is thy foolish fancy chill? + Change the feet that have grown weary + For the wings that never will.” + </pre> + <p> + Thus, like one of the wandering knights searching the wide earth for the + Sangreal, did he wander on, searching for his lost honour, or rather (for + that he counted gone for ever) seeking unconsciously for the peace of mind + which had departed from him, and taken with it, not the joy merely, but + almost the possibility, of existence. + </p> + <p> + At last, when his little store was all but exhausted, he was employed by a + market gardener, in the neighbourhood of a large country town, to work in + his garden, and sometimes take his vegetables to market. With him he + continued for a few weeks, and wished for no change; until, one day + driving his cart through the town, he saw approaching him an elderly + gentleman, whom he knew at once, by his gait and carriage, to be a + military man. Now he had never seen his uncle the retired officer, but it + struck him that this might be he; and under the tyranny of his passion for + concealment, he fancied that, if it were he, he might recognise him by + some family likeness—not considering the improbability of his + looking at him. This fancy, with the painful effect which the sight of an + officer, even in plain clothes, had upon him, recalling the torture of + that frightful day, so overcame him, that he found himself at the other + end of an alley before he recollected that he had the horse and cart in + charge. This increased his difficulty; for now he dared not return, lest + his inquiries after the vehicle, if the horse had strayed from the direct + line, should attract attention, and cause interrogations which he would be + unable to answer. The fatal want of self-possession seemed again to ruin + him. He forsook the town by the nearest way, struck across the country to + another line of road, and before he was missed, was miles away, still in a + northerly direction. + </p> + <p> + But although he thus shunned the face of man, especially of any one who + reminded him of the past, the loss of his reputation in their eyes was not + the cause of his inward grief. That would have been comparatively + powerless to disturb him, had he not lost his own respect. He quailed + before his own thoughts; he was dishonoured in his own eyes. His + perplexity had not yet sufficiently cleared away to allow him to see the + extenuating circumstances of the case; not to say the fact that the + peculiar mental condition in which he was at the time, removed the case + quite out of the class of ordinary instances of cowardice. He condemned + himself more severely than any of his judges would have dared; remembering + that portion of his mental sensations which had savoured of fear, and + forgetting the causes which had produced it. He judged himself a man + stained with the foulest blot that could cleave to a soldier’s name, a + blot which nothing but death, not even death, could efface. But, inwardly + condemned and outwardly degraded, his dread of recognition was intense; + and feeling that he was in more danger of being discovered where the + population was sparser, he resolved to hide himself once more in the midst + of poverty; and, with this view, found his way to one of the largest of + the manufacturing towns. + </p> + <p> + He reached it during the strike of a great part of the workmen; so that, + though he found some difficulty in procuring employment, as might be + expected from his ignorance of machine-labour, he yet was sooner + successful than he would otherwise have been. Possessed of a natural + aptitude for mechanical operations, he soon became a tolerable workman; + and he found that his previous education assisted to the fitting execution + of those operations even which were most purely mechanical. + </p> + <p> + He found also, at first, that the unrelaxing attention requisite for the + mastering of the many niceties of his work, of necessity drew his mind + somewhat from its brooding over his misfortune, hitherto almost ceaseless. + Every now and then, however, a pang would shoot suddenly to his heart, and + turn his face pale, even before his consciousness had time to inquire what + was the matter. So by degrees, as attention became less necessary, and the + nervo-mechanical action of his system increased with use, his thoughts + again returned to their old misery. He would wake at night in his poor + room, with the feeling that a ghostly nightmare sat on his soul; that a + want—a loss—miserable, fearful—was present; that + something of his heart was gone from him; and through the darkness he + would hear the snap of the breaking sword, and lie for a moment + overwhelmed beneath the assurance of the incredible fact. Could it be true + that <i>he</i> was a coward? that <i>his</i> honour was gone, and in its + place a stain? that <i>he</i> was a thing for men—and worse, for + women—to point the finger at, laughing bitter laughter? Never lover + or husband could have mourned with the same desolation over the departure + of the loved; the girl alone, weeping scorching tears over <i>her</i> + degradation, could resemble him in his agony, as he lay on his bed, and + wept and moaned. + </p> + <p> + His sufferings had returned with the greater weight, that he was no longer + upheld by the “divine air” and the open heavens, whose sunlight now only + reached him late in an afternoon, as he stood at his loom, through windows + so coated with dust that they looked like frosted glass; showing, as it + passed through the air to fall on the dirty floor, how the breath of life + was thick with dust of iron and wood, and films of cotton; amidst which + his senses were now too much dulled by custom to detect the exhalations + from greasy wheels and overtasked human-kind. Nor could he find comfort in + the society of his fellow-labourers. True, it was a kind of comfort to + have those near him who could not know of his grief; but there was so + little in common between them, that any interchange of thought was + impossible. At least, so it seemed to him. Yet sometimes his longing for + human companionship would drive him out of his dreary room at night, and + send him wandering through the lower part of the town, where he would gaze + wistfully on the miserable faces that passed him, as if looking for some + one—some angel, even there—to speak goodwill to his hungry + heart. + </p> + <p> + Once he entered one of those gin-palaces, which, like the golden gates of + hell, entice the miserable to worse misery, and seated himself close to a + half-tipsy, good-natured wretch, who made room for him on a bench by the + wall. He was comforted even by this proximity to one who would not repel + him. But soon the paintings of warlike action—of knights, and + horses, and mighty deeds done with battle-axe, and broad-sword, which + adorned the—panels all round, drove him forth even from this heaven + of the damned; yet not before the impious thought had arisen in his heart, + that the brilliantly painted and sculptural roof, with the gilded + vine-leaves and bunches of grapes trained up the windows, all lighted with + the great shining chandeliers, was only a microcosmic repetition of the + bright heavens and the glowing earth, that overhung and surrounded the + misery of man. But the memory of how kindly they had comforted and + elevated him, at one period of his painful history, not only banished the + wicked thought, but brought him more quiet, in the resurrection of a past + blessing, than he had known for some time. The period, however, was now at + hand when a new grief, followed by a new and more elevated activity, was + to do its part towards the closing up of the fountain of bitterness. + </p> + <p> + Amongst his fellow-labourers, he had for a short time taken some interest + in observing a young woman, who had lately joined them. There was nothing + remarkable about her, except what at first sight seemed a remarkable + plainness. A slight scar over one of her rather prominent eyebrows, + increased this impression of plainness. But the first day had not passed, + before he began to see that there was something not altogether common in + those deep eyes; and the plain look vanished before a closer observation, + which also discovered, in the forehead and the lines of the mouth, traces + of sorrow or other suffering. There was an expression, too, in the whole + face, of fixedness of purpose, without any hardness of determination. Her + countenance altogether seemed the index to an interesting mental history. + Signs of mental trouble were always an attraction to him; in this case so + great, that he overcame his shyness, and spoke to her one evening as they + left the works. He often walked home with her after that; as, indeed, was + natural, seeing that she occupied an attic in the same poor lodging-house + in which he lived himself. The street did not bear the best character; + nor, indeed, would the occupations of all the inmates of the house have + stood investigation; but so retiring and quiet was this girl, and so + seldom did she go abroad after work hours, that he had not discovered till + then that she lived in the same street, not to say the same house with + himself. + </p> + <p> + He soon learned her history—a very common one as outward events, but + not surely insignificant because common. Her father and mother were both + dead, and hence she had to find her livelihood alone, and amidst + associations which were always disagreeable, and sometimes painful. Her + quick womanly instinct must have discovered that he too had a history; for + though, his mental prostration favouring the operation of outward + influences, he had greatly approximated in appearance to those amongst + whom he laboured, there were yet signs, besides the educated accent of his + speech, which would have distinguished him to an observer; but she put no + questions to him, nor made any approach towards seeking a return of the + confidence she reposed in him. It was a sensible alleviation to his + sufferings to hear her kind voice, and look in her gentle face, as they + walked home together; and at length the expectation of this pleasure began + to present itself, in the midst of the busy, dreary work-hours, as the + shadow of a heaven to close up the dismal, uninteresting day. + </p> + <p> + But one morning he missed her from her place, and a keener pain passed + through him than he had felt of late; for he knew that the Plague was + abroad, feeding in the low stagnant places of human abode; and he had but + too much reason to dread that she might be now struggling in its grasp. He + seized the first opportunity of slipping out and hurrying home. He sprang + upstairs to her room. He found the door locked, but heard a faint moaning + within. To avoid disturbing her, while determined to gain an entrance, he + went down for the key of his own door, with which he succeeded in + unlocking hers, and so crossed her threshold for the first time. There she + lay on her bed, tossing in pain, and beginning to be delirious. Careless + of his own life, and feeling that he could not die better than in helping + the only friend he had; certain, likewise, of the difficulty of finding a + nurse for one in this disease and of her station in life; and sure, + likewise, that there could be no question of propriety, either in the + circumstances with which they were surrounded, nor in this case of + terrible fever almost as hopeless for her as dangerous to him, he + instantly began the duties of a nurse, and returned no more to his + employment. He had a little money in his possession, for he could not, in + the way in which he lived, spend all his wages; so he proceeded to make + her as comfortable as he could, with all the pent-up tenderness of a + loving heart finding an outlet at length. When a boy at home, he had often + taken the place of nurse, and he felt quite capable of performing its + duties. Nor was his boyhood far behind yet, although the trials he had + come through made it appear an age since he had lost his light heart. So + he never left her bedside, except to procure what was necessary for her. + She was too ill to oppose any of his measures, or to seek to prohibit his + presence. Indeed, by the time he had returned with the first medicine, she + was insensible; and she continued so through the whole of the following + week, during which time he was constantly with her. + </p> + <p> + That action produces feeling is as often true as its converse; and it is + not surprising that, while he smoothed the pillow for her head, he should + have made a nest in his heart for the helpless girl. Slowly and + unconsciously he learned to love her. The chasm between his early + associations and the circumstances in which he found her, vanished as he + drew near to the simple, essential womanhood. His heart saw hers and loved + it; and he knew that, the centre once gained, he could, as from the + fountain of life, as from the innermost secret of the holy place, the + hidden germ of power and possibility, transform the outer intellect and + outermost manners as he pleased. With what a thrill of joy, a feeling for + a long time unknown to him, and till now never known in this form or with + this intensity, the thought arose in his heart that here lay one who some + day would love him; that he should have a place of refuge and rest; one to + lie in his bosom and not despise him! “For,” said he to himself, “I will + call forth her soul from where it sleeps, like an unawakened echo, in an + unknown cave; and like a child, of whom I once dreamed, that was mine, and + to my delight turned in fear from all besides, and clung to me, this soul + of hers will run with bewildered, half-sleeping eyes, and tottering steps, + but with a cry of joy on its lips, to me as the life-giver. She will cling + to me and worship me. Then will I tell her, for she must know all, that I + am low and contemptible; that I am an outcast from the world, and that if + she receive me, she will be to me as God. And I will fall down at her feet + and pray her for comfort, for life, for restoration to myself; and she + will throw herself beside me, and weep and love me, I know. And we will go + through life together, working hard, but for each other; and when we die, + she shall lead me into paradise as the prize her angel-hand found cast on + a desert shore, from the storm of winds and waves which I was too weak to + resist—and raised, and tended, and saved.” Often did such thoughts + as these pass through his mind while watching by her bed; alternated, + checked, and sometimes destroyed, by the fears which attended her + precarious condition, but returning with every apparent betterment or + hopeful symptom. + </p> + <p> + I will not stop to decide the nice question, how far the intention was + right, of causing her to love him before she knew his story. If in the + whole matter there was too much thought of self, my only apology is the + sequel. One day, the ninth from the commencement of her illness, a letter + arrived, addressed to her; which he, thinking he might prevent some + inconvenience thereby, opened and read, in the confidence of that love + which already made her and all belonging to her appear his own. It was + from a soldier—<i>her lover</i>. It was plain that they had been + betrothed before he left for the continent a year ago; but this was the + first letter which he had written to her. It breathed changeless love, and + hope, and confidence in her. He was so fascinated that he read it through + without pause. + </p> + <p> + Laying it down, he sat pale, motionless, almost inanimate. From the + hard-won sunny heights, he was once more cast down into the shadow of + death. The second storm of his life began, howling and raging, with yet + more awful lulls between. “Is she not <i>mine</i>?” he said, in agony. “Do + I not feel that she is mine? Who will watch over her as I? Who will kiss + her soul to life as I? Shall she be torn away from me, when my soul seems + to have dwelt with hers for ever in an eternal house? But have I not a + right to her? Have I not given my life for hers? Is he not a soldier, and + are there not many chances that he may never return? And it may be that, + although they were engaged in word, soul has never touched soul with them; + their love has never reached that point where it passes from the mortal to + the immortal, the indissoluble: and so, in a sense, she may be yet free. + Will he do for her what I will do? Shall this precious heart of hers, in + which I see the buds of so many beauties, be left to wither and die?” + </p> + <p> + But here the voice within him cried out, “Art thou the disposer of + destinies? Wilt thou, in a universe where the visible God hath died for + the Truth’s sake, do evil that a good, which He might neglect or overlook, + may be gained? Leave thou her to Him, and do thou right.” And he said + within himself, “Now is the real trial for my life! Shall I conquer or + no?” And his heart awoke and cried, “I will. God forgive me for wronging + the poor soldier! A brave man, brave at least, is better for her than I.” + </p> + <p> + A great strength arose within him, and lifted him up to depart. “Surely I + may kiss her once,” he said. For the crisis was over, and she slept. He + stooped towards her face, but before he had reached her lips he saw her + eyelids tremble; and he who had longed for the opening of those eyes, as + of the gates of heaven, that she might love him, stricken now with fear + lest she should love him, fled from her, before the eyelids that hid such + strife and such victory from the unconscious maiden had time to unclose. + But it was agony—quietly to pack up his bundle of linen in the room + below, when he knew she was lying awake above, with her dear, pale face, + and living eyes! What remained of his money, except a few shillings, he + put up in a scrap of paper, and went out with his bundle in his hand, + first to seek a nurse for his friend, and then to go he knew not whither. + He met the factory people with whom he had worked, going to dinner, and + amongst them a girl who had herself but lately recovered from the fever, + and was yet hardly able for work. She was the only friend the sick girl + had seemed to have amongst the women at the factory, and she was easily + persuaded to go and take charge of her. He put the money in her hand, + begging her to use it for the invalid, and promising to send the + equivalent of her wages for the time he thought she would have to wait on + her. This he easily did by the sale of a ring, which, besides his mother’s + watch, was the only article of value he had retained. He begged her + likewise not to mention his name in the matter; and was foolish enough to + expect that she would entirely keep the promise she had made him. + </p> + <p> + Wandering along the street, purposeless now and bereft, he spied a + recruiting party at the door of a public-house; and on coming nearer, + found, by one of those strange coincidences which do occur in life, and + which have possibly their root in a hidden and wondrous law, that it was a + party, perhaps a remnant, of the very regiment in which he had himself + served, and in which his misfortune had befallen him. Almost + simultaneously with the shock which the sight of the well-known number on + the soldiers’ knapsacks gave him, arose in his mind the romantic, ideal + thought, of enlisting in the ranks of this same regiment, and recovering, + as a private soldier and unknown, that honour which as officer he had + lost. To this determination, the new necessity in which he now stood for + action and change of life, doubtless contributed, though unconsciously. He + offered himself to the sergeant; and, notwithstanding that his dress + indicated a mode of life unsuitable as the antecedent to a soldier’s, his + appearance, and the necessity for recruits combined, led to his easy + acceptance. + </p> + <p> + The English armies were employed in expelling the enemy from an invaded + and helpless country. Whatever might be the political motives which had + induced the Government to this measure, the young man was now able to feel + that he could go and fight, individually and for his part, in the cause of + liberty. He was free to possess his own motives for joining in the + execution of the schemes of those who commanded his commanders. + </p> + <p> + With a heavy heart, but with more of inward hope and strength than he had + ever known before, he marched with his comrades to the seaport and + embarked. It seemed to him that because he had done right in his last + trial, here was a new glorious chance held out to his hand. True, it was a + terrible change to pass from a woman in whom he had hoped to find healing, + into the society of rough men, to march with them, “<i>mitgleichem Tritt + und Schritt</i>,” up to the bristling bayonets or the horrid vacancy of + the cannon mouth. But it was the only cure for the evil that consumed his + life. + </p> + <p> + He reached the army in safety, and gave himself, with religious assiduity, + to the smallest duties of his new position. No one had a brighter polish + on his arms, or whiter belts than he. In the necessary movements, he soon + became precise to a degree that attracted the attention of his officers; + while his character was remarkable for all the virtues belonging to a + perfect soldier. + </p> + <p> + One day, as he stood sentry, he saw the eyes of his colonel intently fixed + on him. He felt his lip quiver, but he compressed and stilled it, and + tried to look as unconscious as he could; which effort was assisted by the + formal bearing required by his position. Now the colonel, such had been + the losses of the regiment, had been promoted from a lieutenancy in the + same, and had belonged to it at the time of the ensign’s degradation. + Indeed, had not the changes in the regiment been so great, he could hardly + have escaped so long without discovery. But the poor fellow would have + felt that his name was already free of reproach, if he had seen what + followed on the close inspection which had awakened his apprehensions, and + which, in fact, had convinced the colonel of his identity with the + disgraced ensign. With a hasty and less soldierly step than usual the + colonel entered his tent, threw himself on his bed and wept like a child. + When he rose he was overheard to say these words—and these only + escaped his lips: “He is nobler than I.” + </p> + <p> + But this officer showed himself worthy of commanding such men as this + private; for right nobly did he understand and meet his feelings. He + uttered no word of the discovery he had made, till years afterwards; but + it soon began to be remarked that whenever anything arduous, or in any + manner distinguished, had to be done, this man was sure to be of the party + appointed. In short, as often as he could, the colonel “set him in the + forefront of the battle.” Passing through all with wonderful escape, he + was soon as much noticed for his reckless bravery, as hitherto for his + precision in the discharge of duties bringing only commendation and not + honour. But his final lustration was at hand. + </p> + <p> + A great part of the army was hastening, by forced marches, to raise the + siege of a town which was already on the point of falling into the hands + of the enemy. Forming one of a reconnoitring party, which preceded the + main body at some considerable distance, he and his companions came + suddenly upon one of the enemy’s outposts, occupying a high, and on one + side precipitous rock, a short way from the town, which it commanded. + Retreat was impossible, for they were already discovered, and the bullets + were falling amongst them like the first of a hail-storm. The only + possibility of escape remaining for them was a nearly hopeless + improbability. It lay in forcing the post on this steep rock; which if + they could do before assistance came to the enemy, they might, perhaps, be + able to hold out, by means of its defences, till the arrival of the army. + Their position was at once understood by all; and, by a sudden, + simultaneous impulse, they found themselves halfway up the steep ascent, + and in the struggle of a close conflict, without being aware of any order + to that effect from their officer. But their courage was of no avail; the + advantages of the place were too great; and in a few minutes the whole + party was cut to pieces, or stretched helpless on the rock. Our youth had + fallen amongst the foremost; for a musket ball had grazed his skull, and + laid him insensible. + </p> + <p> + But consciousness slowly returned, and he succeeded at last in raising + himself and looking around him. The place was deserted. A few of his + friends, alive, but grievously wounded, lay near him. The rest were dead. + It appeared that, learning the proximity of the English forces from this + rencontre with part of their advanced guard, and dreading lest the town, + which was on the point of surrendering, should after all be snatched from + their grasp, the commander of the enemy’s forces had ordered an immediate + and general assault; and had for this purpose recalled from their outposts + the whole of his troops thus stationed, that he might make the attempt + with the utmost strength he could accumulate. + </p> + <p> + As the youth’s power of vision returned, he perceived, from the height + where he lay, that the town was already in the hands of the enemy. But + looking down into the level space immediately below him, he started to his + feet at once; for a girl, bare-headed, was fleeing towards the rock, + pursued by several soldiers. “Aha!” said he, divining her purpose—the + soldiers behind and the rock before her—“I will help you to die!” + And he stooped and wrenched from the dead fingers of a sergeant the sword + which they clenched by the bloody hilt. A new throb of life pulsed through + him to his very finger-tips; and on the brink of the unseen world he + stood, with the blood rushing through his veins in a wild dance of + excitement. One who lay near him wounded, but recovered afterwards, said + that he looked like one inspired. With a keen eye he watched the chase. + The girl drew nigh; and rushed up the path near which he was standing. + Close on her footsteps came the soldiers, the distance gradually lessening + between them. + </p> + <p> + Not many paces higher up, was a narrower part of the ascent, where the + path was confined by great stones, or pieces of rock. Here had been the + chief defence in the preceding assault, and in it lay many bodies of his + friends. Thither he went and took his stand. + </p> + <p> + On the girl came, over the dead, with rigid hands and flying feet, the + bloodless skin drawn tight on her features, and her eyes awfully large and + wild. She did not see him though she bounded past so near that her hair + flew in his eyes. “Never mind!” said he, “we shall meet soon.” And he + stepped into the narrow path just in time to face her pursuers—between + her and them. Like the red lightning the bloody sword fell, and a man + beneath it. Cling! clang! went the echoes in the rocks—and another + man was down; for, in his excitement, he was a destroying angel to the + breathless pursuers. His stature rose, his chest dilated; and as the third + foe fell dead, the girl was safe; for her body lay a broken, empty, but + undesecrated temple, at the foot of the rock. That moment his sword flew + in shivers from his grasp. The next instant he fell, pierced to the heart; + and his spirit rose triumphant, free, strong, and calm, above the stormy + world, which at length lay vanquished beneath him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0033" id="link2H_4_0033"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE GRAY WOLF + </h2> + <p> + One evening-twilight in spring, a young English student, who had wandered + northwards as far as the outlying fragments of Scotland called the Orkney + and Shetland Islands, found himself on a small island of the latter group, + caught in a storm of wind and hail, which had come on suddenly. It was in + vain to look about for any shelter; for not only did the storm entirely + obscure the landscape, but there was nothing around him save a desert + moss. + </p> + <p> + At length, however, as he walked on for mere walking’s sake, he found + himself on the verge of a cliff, and saw, over the brow of it, a few feet + below him, a ledge of rock, where he might find some shelter from the + blast, which blew from behind. Letting himself down by his hands, he + alighted upon something that crunched beneath his tread, and found the + bones of many small animals scattered about in front of a little cave in + the rock, offering the refuge he sought. He went in, and sat upon a stone. + The storm increased in violence, and as the darkness grew he became + uneasy, for he did not relish the thought of spending the night in the + cave. He had parted from his companions on the opposite side of the + island, and it added to his uneasiness that they must be full of + apprehension about him. At last there came a lull in the storm, and the + same instant he heard a footfall, stealthy and light as that of a wild + beast, upon the bones at the mouth of the cave. He started up in some + fear, though the least thought might have satisfied him that there could + be no very dangerous animals upon the island. Before he had time to think, + however, the face of a woman appeared in the opening. Eagerly the wanderer + spoke. She started at the sound of his voice. He could not see her well, + because she was turned towards the darkness of the cave. + </p> + <p> + “Will you tell me how to find my way across the moor to Shielness?” he + asked. + </p> + <p> + “You cannot find it to-night,” she answered, in a sweet tone, and with a + smile that bewitched him, revealing the whitest of teeth. + </p> + <p> + “What am I to do, then?” + </p> + <p> + “My mother will give you shelter, but that is all she has to offer.” + </p> + <p> + “And that is far more than I expected a minute ago,” he replied. “I shall + be most grateful.” + </p> + <p> + She turned in silence and left the cave. The youth followed. + </p> + <p> + She was barefooted, and her pretty brown feet went catlike over the sharp + stones, as she led the way down a rocky path to the shore. Her garments + were scanty and torn, and her hair blew tangled in the wind. She seemed + about five and twenty, lithe and small. Her long fingers kept clutching + and pulling nervously at her skirts as she went. Her face was very gray in + complexion, and very worn, but delicately formed, and smooth-skinned. Her + thin nostrils were tremulous as eyelids, and her lips, whose curves were + faultless, had no colour to give sign of indwelling blood. What her eyes + were like he could not see, for she had never lifted the delicate films of + her eyelids. + </p> + <p> + At the foot of the cliff, they came upon a little hut leaning against it, + and having for its inner apartment a natural hollow within. Smoke was + spreading over the face of the rock, and the grateful odour of food gave + hope to the hungry student. His guide opened the door of the cottage; he + followed her in, and saw a woman bending over a fire in the middle of the + floor. On the fire lay a large fish broiling. The daughter spoke a few + words, and the mother turned and welcomed the stranger. She had an old and + very wrinkled, but honest face, and looked troubled. She dusted the only + chair in the cottage, and placed it for him by the side of the fire, + opposite the one window, whence he saw a little patch of yellow sand over + which the spent waves spread themselves out listlessly. Under this window + there was a bench, upon which the daughter threw herself in an unusual + posture, resting her chin upon her hand. A moment after, the youth caught + the first glimpse of her blue eyes. They were fixed upon him with a + strange look of greed, amounting to craving, but, as if aware that they + belied or betrayed her, she dropped them instantly. The moment she veiled + them, her face, notwithstanding its colourless complexion, was almost + beautiful. + </p> + <p> + When the fish was ready, the old woman wiped the deal table, steadied it + upon the uneven floor, and covered it with a piece of fine table-linen. + She then laid the fish on a wooden platter, and invited the guest to help + himself. Seeing no other provision, he pulled from his pocket a hunting + knife, and divided a portion from the fish, offering it to the mother + first. + </p> + <p> + “Come, my lamb,” said the old woman; and the daughter approached the + table. But her nostrils and mouth quivered with disgust. + </p> + <p> + The next moment she turned and hurried from the hut. + </p> + <p> + “She doesn’t like fish,” said the old woman, “and I haven’t anything else + to give her.” + </p> + <p> + “She does not seem in good health,” he rejoined. + </p> + <p> + The woman answered only with a sigh, and they ate their fish with the help + of a little rye bread. As they finished their supper, the youth heard the + sound as of the pattering of a dog’s feet upon the sand close to the door; + but ere he had time to look out of the window, the door opened, and the + young woman entered. She looked better, perhaps from having just washed + her face. She drew a stool to the corner of the fire opposite him. But as + she sat down, to his bewilderment, and even horror, the student spied a + single drop of blood on her white skin within her torn dress. The woman + brought out a jar of whisky, put a rusty old kettle on the fire, and took + her place in front of it. As soon as the water boiled, she proceeded to + make some toddy in a wooden bowl. + </p> + <p> + Meantime the youth could not take his eyes off the young woman, so that at + length he found himself fascinated, or rather bewitched. She kept her eyes + for the most part veiled with the loveliest eyelids fringed with darkest + lashes, and he gazed entranced; for the red glow of the little oil-lamp + covered all the strangeness of her complexion. But as soon as he met a + stolen glance out of those eyes unveiled, his soul shuddered within him. + Lovely face and craving eyes alternated fascination and repulsion. + </p> + <p> + The mother placed the bowl in his hands. He drank sparingly, and passed it + to the girl. She lifted it to her lips, and as she tasted—only + tasted it—looked at him. He thought the drink must have been drugged + and have affected his brain. Her hair smoothed itself back, and drew her + forehead backwards with it; while the lower part of her face projected + towards the bowl, revealing, ere she sipped, her dazzling teeth in strange + prominence. But the same moment the vision vanished; she returned the + vessel to her mother, and rising, hurried out of the cottage. + </p> + <p> + Then the old woman pointed to a bed of heather in one corner with a + murmured apology; and the student, wearied both with the fatigues of the + day and the strangeness of the night, threw himself upon it, wrapped in + his cloak. The moment he lay down, the storm began afresh, and the wind + blew so keenly through the crannies of the hut, that it was only by + drawing his cloak over his head that he could protect himself from its + currents. Unable to sleep, he lay listening to the uproar which grew in + violence, till the spray was dashing against the window. At length the + door opened, and the young woman came in, made up the fire, drew the bench + before it, and lay down in the same strange posture, with her chin propped + on her hand and elbow, and her face turned towards the youth. He moved a + little; she dropped her head, and lay on her face, with her arms crossed + beneath her forehead. The mother had disappeared. + </p> + <p> + Drowsiness crept over him. A movement of the bench roused him, and he + fancied he saw some four-footed creature as tall as a large dog trot + quietly out of the door. He was sure he felt a rush of cold wind. Gazing + fixedly through the darkness, he thought he saw the eyes of the damsel + encountering his, but a glow from the falling together of the remnants of + the fire revealed clearly enough that the bench was vacant. Wondering what + could have made her go out in such a storm, he fell fast asleep. + </p> + <p> + In the middle of the night he felt a pain in his shoulder, came broad + awake, and saw the gleaming eyes and grinning teeth of some animal close + to his face. Its claws were in his shoulder, and its mouth in the act of + seeking his throat. Before it had fixed its fangs, however, he had its + throat in one hand, and sought his knife with the other. A terrible + struggle followed; but regardless of the tearing claws, he found and + opened his knife. He had made one futile stab, and was drawing it for a + surer, when, with a spring of the whole body, and one wildly contorted + effort, the creature twisted its neck from his hold, and with something + betwixt a scream and a howl, darted from him. Again he heard the door + open; again the wind blew in upon him, and it continued blowing; a sheet + of spray dashed across the floor, and over his face. He sprung from his + couch and bounded to the door. + </p> + <p> + It was a wild night—dark, but for the flash of whiteness from the + waves as they broke within a few yards of the cottage; the wind was + raving, and the rain pouring down the air. A gruesome sound as of mingled + weeping and howling came from somewhere in the dark. He turned again into + the hut and closed the door, but could find no way of securing it. + </p> + <p> + The lamp was nearly out, and he could not be certain whether the form of + the young woman was upon the bench or not. Overcoming a strong repugnance, + he approached it, and put out his hands—there was nothing there. He + sat down and waited for the daylight: he dared not sleep any more. + </p> + <p> + When the day dawned at length, he went out yet again, and looked around. + The morning was dim and gusty and gray. The wind had fallen, but the waves + were tossing wildly. He wandered up and down the little strand, longing + for more light. + </p> + <p> + At length he heard a movement in the cottage. By and by the voice of the + old woman called to him from the door. + </p> + <p> + “You’re up early, sir. I doubt you didn’t sleep well.” + </p> + <p> + “Not very well,” he answered. “But where is your daughter?” + </p> + <p> + “She’s not awake yet,” said the mother. “I’m afraid I have but a poor + breakfast for you. But you’ll take a dram and a bit of fish. It’s all I’ve + got.” + </p> + <p> + Unwilling to hurt her, though hardly in good appetite, he sat down at the + table. While they were eating, the daughter came in, but turned her face + away and went to the farther end of the hut. When she came forward after a + minute or two, the youth saw that her hair was drenched, and her face + whiter than before. She looked ill and faint, and when she raised her + eyes, all their fierceness had vanished, and sadness had taken its place. + Her neck was now covered with a cotton handkerchief. She was modestly + attentive to him, and no longer shunned his gaze. He was gradually + yielding to the temptation of braving another night in the hut, and seeing + what would follow, when the old woman spoke. + </p> + <p> + “The weather will be broken all day, sir,” she said. “You had better be + going, or your friends will leave without you.” + </p> + <p> + Ere he could answer, he saw such a beseeching glance on the face of the + girl, that he hesitated, confused. Glancing at the mother, he saw the + flash of wrath in her face. She rose and approached her daughter, with her + hand lifted to strike her. The young woman stooped her head with a cry. He + darted round the table to interpose between them. But the mother had + caught hold of her; the handkerchief had fallen from her neck; and the + youth saw five blue bruises on her lovely throat—the marks of the + four fingers and the thumb of a left hand. With a cry of horror he darted + from the house, but as he reached the door he turned. His hostess was + lying motionless on the floor, and a huge gray wolf came bounding after + him. + </p> + <p> + There was no weapon at hand; and if there had been, his inborn chivalry + would never have allowed him to harm a woman even under the guise of a + wolf. Instinctively, he set himself firm, leaning a little forward, with + half outstretched arms, and hands curved ready to clutch again at the + throat upon which he had left those pitiful marks. But the creature as she + sprung eluded his grasp, and just as he expected to feel her fangs, he + found a woman weeping on his bosom, with her arms around his neck. The + next instant, the gray wolf broke from him, and bounded howling up the + cliff. Recovering himself as he best might, the youth followed, for it was + the only way to the moor above, across which he must now make his way to + find his companions. + </p> + <p> + All at once he heard the sound of a crunching of bones—not as if a + creature was eating them, but as if they were ground by the teeth of rage + and disappointment; looking up, he saw close above him the mouth of the + little cavern in which he had taken refuge the day before. Summoning all + his resolution, he passed it slowly and softly. From within came the + sounds of a mingled moaning and growling. + </p> + <p> + Having reached the top, he ran at full speed for some distance across the + moor before venturing to look behind him. When at length he did so, he + saw, against the sky, the girl standing on the edge of the cliff, wringing + her hands. One solitary wail crossed the space between. She made no + attempt to follow him, and he reached the opposite shore in safety. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0034" id="link2H_4_0034"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + UNCLE CORNELIUS HIS STORY + </h2> + <p> + It was a dull evening in November. A drizzling mist had been falling all + day about the old farm. Harry Heywood and his two sisters sat in the + house-place, expecting a visit from their uncle, Cornelius Heywood. This + uncle lived alone, occupying the first floor above a chemist’s shop in the + town, and had just enough of money over to buy books that nobody seemed + ever to have heard of but himself; for he was a student in all those + regions of speculation in which anything to be called knowledge is + impossible. + </p> + <p> + “What a dreary night!” said Kate. “I wish uncle would come and tell us a + story.” + </p> + <p> + “A cheerful wish,” said Harry. “Uncle Cornie is a lively companion—isn’t + he? He cant even blunder through a Joe Miller without tacking a moral to + it, and then trying to persuade you that the joke of it depends on the + moral.” + </p> + <p> + “Here he comes!” said Kate, as three distinct blows with the knob of his + walking-stick announced the arrival of Uncle Cornelius. She ran to the + door to open it. + </p> + <p> + The air had been very still all day, but as he entered he seemed to have + brought the wind with him, for the first moan of it pressed against rather + than shook the casement of the low-ceiled room. + </p> + <p> + Uncle Cornelius was very tall, and very thin, and very pale, with large + gray eyes that looked greatly larger because he wore spectacles of the + most delicate hair-steel, with the largest pebble-eyes that ever were + seen. He gave them a kindly greeting, but too much in earnest even in + shaking hands to smile over it. He sat down in the arm-chair by the + chimney corner. + </p> + <p> + I have been particular in my description of him, in order that my reader + may give due weight to his words. I am such a believer in words, that I + believe everything depends on who says them. Uncle Cornelius Heywood’s + story told word for word by Uncle Timothy Warren, would not have been the + same story at all. Not one of the listeners would have believed a syllable + of it from the lips of round-bodied, red-faced, small-eyed, little Uncle + Tim; whereas from Uncle Cornie—disbelieve one of his stories if you + could! + </p> + <p> + One word more concerning him. His interest in everything conjectured or + believed relative to the awful borderland of this world and the next, was + only equalled by his disgust at the vulgar, unimaginative forms which + curiosity about such subjects has assumed in the present day. With a + yearning after the unseen like that of a child for the lifting of the + curtain of a theatre, he declared that, rather than accept such a + spirit-world as the would-be seers of the nineteenth century thought or + pretended to reveal,—the prophets of a pauperised, workhouse + immortality, invented by a poverty-stricken soul, and a sense so greedy + that it would gorge on carrion,—he would rejoice to believe that a + man had just as much of a soul as the cabbage of Iamblichus, namely, an + aerial double of his body. + </p> + <p> + “I’m so glad you’re come, uncle!” said Kate. “Why wouldn’t you come to + dinner? We have been so gloomy!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Katey, you know I don’t admire eating. I never could bear to see a + cow tearing up the grass with her long tongue.” As he spoke he looked very + much like a cow. He had a way of opening his jaws while he kept his lips + closely pressed together, that made his cheeks fall in, and his face look + awfully long and dismal. “I consider eating,” he went on, “such an animal + exercise that it ought always to be performed in private. You never saw me + dine, Kate.” + </p> + <p> + “Never, uncle; but I have seen you drink;—nothing but water, I must + confess.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes that is another affair. According to one eyewitness that is no more + than the disembodied can do. I must confess, however, that, although well + attested, the story is to me scarcely credible. Fancy a glass of Bavarian + beer lifted into the air without a visible hand, turned upside down, and + set empty on the table!—and no splash on the floor or anywhere + else!” + </p> + <p> + A solitary gleam of humour shone through the great eyes of the spectacles + as he spoke. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, uncle! how can you believe such nonsense!” said Janet. + </p> + <p> + “I did not say I believed it—did I? But why not? The story has at + least a touch of imagination in it.” + </p> + <p> + “That is a strange reason for believing a thing, uncle,” said Harry. + </p> + <p> + “You might have a worse, Harry. I grant it is not sufficient; but it is + better than that commonplace aspect which is the ground of most faith. I + believe I did say that the story puzzled me.” + </p> + <p> + “But how can you give it any quarter at all, uncle?” + </p> + <p> + “It does me no harm. There it is—between the boards of an old German + book. There let it remain.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, you will never persuade me to believe such things,” said Janet. + </p> + <p> + “Wait till I ask you, Janet,” returned her uncle, gravely. “I have not the + slightest desire to convince you. How did we get into this unprofitable + current of talk? We will change it at once. How are consols, Harry?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, uncle!” said Kate, “we were longing for a story, and just as I + thought you were coming to one, off you go to consols!” + </p> + <p> + “I thought a ghost story at least was coming,” said Janet. + </p> + <p> + “You did your best to stop it, Janet,” said Harry. + </p> + <p> + Janet began an angry retort, but Cornelius interrupted her. “You never + heard me tell a ghost story, Janet.” + </p> + <p> + “You have just told one about a drinking ghost, uncle,” said Janet—in + such a tone that Cornelius replied— + </p> + <p> + “Well, take that for your story, and let us talk of something else.” + </p> + <p> + Janet apparently saw that she had been rude, and said as sweetly as she + might—“Ah! but you didn’t make that one, uncle. You got it out of a + German book.” + </p> + <p> + “Make it!—Make a ghost story!” repeated Cornelius. “No; that I never + did.” + </p> + <p> + “Such things are not to be trifled with, are they?” said Janet. + </p> + <p> + “I at least have no inclination to trifle with them.” + </p> + <p> + “But, really and truly, uncle,” persisted Janet, “you don’t believe in + such things?” + </p> + <p> + “Why should I either believe or disbelieve in them? They are not essential + to salvation, I presume.” + </p> + <p> + “You must do the one or the other, I suppose.” + </p> + <p> + “I beg your pardon. You suppose wrong. It would take twice the proof I + have ever had to make me believe in them; and exactly your prejudice, and + allow me to say ignorance, to make me disbelieve in them. Neither is + within my reach. I postpone judgment. But you, young people, of course, + are wiser, and know all about the question.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, uncle! I’m so sorry!” said Kate. “I’m sure I did not mean to vex + you.” + </p> + <p> + “Not at all, not at all, my dear.—It wasn’t you.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you know,” Kate went on, anxious to prevent anything unpleasant, for + there was something very black perched on Janet’s forehead, “I have taken + to reading about that kind of thing.” + </p> + <p> + “I beg you will give it up at once. You will bewilder your brains till you + are ready to believe anything, if only it be absurd enough. Nay, you may + come to find the element of vulgarity essential to belief. I should be + sorry to the heart to believe concerning a horse or dog what they tell you + nowadays about Shakespeare and Burns. What have you been reading, my + girl?” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t be alarmed, uncle. Only some Highland legends, which are too absurd + either for my belief or for your theories.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t know that, Kate.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, what could you do with such shapeless creatures as haunt their fords + and pools for instance? They are as featureless as the faces of the + mountains.” + </p> + <p> + “And so much the more terrible.” + </p> + <p> + “But that does not make it easier to believe in them,” said Harry. + </p> + <p> + “I only said,” returned his uncle, “that their shapelessness adds to their + horror.” + </p> + <p> + “But you allowed—almost, at least, uncle,” said Kate, “that you + could find a place in your theories even for those shapeless creatures.” + </p> + <p> + Cornelius sat silent for a moment; then, having first doubled the length + of his face, and restored it to its natural condition, said thoughtfully, + “I suspect, Katey, if you were to come upon an ichthyosaurus or a + pterodactyl asleep in the shubbery, you would hardly expect your report of + it to be believed all at once either by Harry or Janet.” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose not, uncle. But I can’t see what—” + </p> + <p> + “Of course such a thing could not happen here and now. But there was a + time when and a place where such a thing may have happened. Indeed, in my + time, a traveller or two have got pretty soundly disbelieved for reporting + what they saw,—the last of an expiring race, which had strayed over + the natural verge of its history, coming to life in some neglected swamp, + itself a remnant of the slime of Chaos.” + </p> + <p> + “I never heard you talk like that before, uncle,” said Harry. “If you go + on like that, you’ll land me in a swamp, I’m afraid.” + </p> + <p> + “I wasn’t talking to you at all, Harry. Kate challenged me to find a place + for kelpies, and such like, in the theories she does me the honour of + supposing I cultivate.” + </p> + <p> + “Then you think, uncle, that all these stories are only legends which, if + you could follow them up, would lead you back to some one of the awful + monsters that have since quite disappeared from the earth.” + </p> + <p> + “It is possible those stories may be such legends; but that was not what I + intended to lead you to. I gave you that only as something like what I am + going to say now. What if,—mind, I only suggest it,—what if + the direful creatures, whose report lingers in these tales, should have an + origin far older still? What if they were the remnants of a vanishing + period of the earth’s history long antecedent to the birth of mastodon and + iguanodon; a stage, namely, when the world, as we call it, had not yet + become quite visible, was not yet so far finished as to part from the + invisible world that was its mother, and which, on its part, had not then + become quite invisible—was only almost such; and when, as a credible + consequence, strange shapes of those now invisible regions, Gorgons and + Chimaeras dire, might be expected to gloom out occasionally from the awful + Fauna of an ever-generating world upon that one which was being born of + it. Hence, the life-periods of a world being long and slow, some of these + huge, unformed bulks of half-created matter might, somehow, like the + megatherium of later times,—a baby creation to them,—roll at + age-long intervals, clothed in a mighty terror of shapelessness into the + half-recognition of human beings, whose consternation at the uncertain + vision were barrier enough to prevent all further knowledge of its + substance.” + </p> + <p> + “I begin to have some notion of your meaning, uncle,” said Kate. + </p> + <p> + “But then,” said Janet, “all that must be over by this time. That world + has been invisible now for many years.” + </p> + <p> + “Ever since you were born, I suppose, Janet. The changes of a world are + not to be measured by the changes of its generations.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, but, uncle, there can’t be any such things. You know that as well as + I do.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, just as well, and no better.” + </p> + <p> + “There can’t be any ghosts now. Nobody believes such things.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, as to ghosts, that is quite another thing. I did not know you were + talking with reference to them. It is no wonder if one can get nothing + sensible out of you, Janet, when your discrimination is no greater than to + lump everything marvellous, kelpies, ghosts, vampires, doubles, witches, + fairies, nightmares, and I don’t know what all, under the one head of + ghosts; and we haven’t been saying a word about them. If one were to + disprove to you the existence of the afreets of Eastern tales, you would + consider the whole argument concerning the reappearance of the departed + upset. I congratulate you on your powers of analysis and induction, Miss + Janet. But it matters very little whether we believe in ghosts, as you + say, or not, provided we believe that we are ghosts—that within this + body, which so many people are ready to consider their own very selves, + their lies a ghostly embryo, at least, which has an inner side to it God + only can see, which says I concerning itself, and which will soon have to + know whether or not it can appear to those whom it has left behind, and + thus solve the question of ghosts for itself, at least.” + </p> + <p> + “Then you do believe in ghosts, uncle?” said Janet, in a tone that + certainly was not respectful. + </p> + <p> + “Surely I said nothing of the sort, Janet. The man most convinced that he + had himself had such an interview as you hint at, would find—ought + to find it impossible to convince any one else of it.” + </p> + <p> + “You are quite out of my depth, uncle,” said Harry. “Surely any honest man + ought to be believed?” + </p> + <p> + “Honesty is not all, by any means, that is necessary to being believed. It + is impossible to convey a conviction of anything. All you can do is to + convey a conviction that you are convinced. Of course, what satisfied you + might satisfy another; but, till you can present him with the sources of + your conviction, you cannot present him with the conviction—and + perhaps not even then.” + </p> + <p> + “You can tell him all about, it, can’t you?” + </p> + <p> + “Is telling a man about a ghost, affording him the source of your + conviction? Is it the same as a ghost appearing to him? Really, Harry!—You + cannot even convey the impression a dream has made upon you.” + </p> + <p> + “But isn’t that just because it is only a dream?” + </p> + <p> + “Not at all. The impression may be deeper and clearer on your mind than + any fact of the next morning will make. You will forget the next day + altogether, but the impression of the dream will remain through all the + following whirl and storm of what you call facts. Now a conviction may be + likened to a deep impression on the judgment or the reason, or both. No + one can feel it but the person who is convinced. It cannot be conveyed.” + </p> + <p> + “I fancy that is just what those who believe in spirit-rapping would say.” + </p> + <p> + “There are the true and false of convictions, as of everything else. I + mean that a man may take that for a conviction in his own mind which is + not a conviction, but only resembles one. But those to whom you refer + profess to appeal to facts. It is on the ground of those facts, and with + the more earnestness the more reason they can give for receiving them as + facts, that I refuse all their deductions with abhorrence. I mean that, if + what they say is true, the thinker must reject with contempt the claim to + anything like revelation therein.” + </p> + <p> + “Then you do not believe in ghosts, after all?” said Kate, in a tone of + surprise. + </p> + <p> + “I did not say so, my dear. Will you be reasonable, or will you not?” + </p> + <p> + “Dear uncle, do tell us what you really think.” + </p> + <p> + “I have been telling you what I think ever since I came, Katey; and you + won’t take in a word I say.” + </p> + <p> + “I have been taking in every word, uncle, and trying hard to understand it + as well.—Did you ever see a ghost, uncle?” + </p> + <p> + Cornelius Heywood was silent. He shut his lips and opened his jaws till + his cheeks almost met in the vacuum. A strange expression crossed the + strange countenance, and the great eyes of his spectacles looked as if, at + the very moment, they were seeing something no other spectacles could see. + Then his jaws closed with a snap, his countenance brightened, a flash of + humour came through the goggle eyes of pebble, and, at length, he actually + smiled as he said—“Really, Katey, you must take me for a simpleton!” + </p> + <p> + “How, uncle?” + </p> + <p> + “To think, if I had ever seen a ghost, I would confess the fact before a + set of creatures like you—all spinning your webs like so many + spiders to catch and devour old Daddy Longlegs.” + </p> + <p> + By this time Harry had grown quite grave. “Indeed, I am very sorry, + uncle,” he said, “if I have deserved such a rebuke.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, my boy,” said Cornelius; “I did not mean it more than half. If I + had meant it, I would not have said it. If you really would like—” + Here he paused. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed we should, uncle,” said Kate, earnestly. “You should have heard + what we were saying just before you came in.” + </p> + <p> + “All you were saying, Katey?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” answered Kate, thoughtfully. “The worst we said was that you could + not tell a story without—well, we did say tacking a moral to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well! I mustn’t push it. A man has no right to know what people say + about him. It unfits him for occupying his real position amongst them. He, + least of all, has anything to do with it. If his friends won’t defend him, + he can’t defend himself. Besides, what people say is so often untrue!—I + don’t mean to others, but to themselves. Their hearts are more honest than + their mouths. But Janet doesn’t want a strange story, I am sure.” + </p> + <p> + Janet certainly was not one to have chosen for a listener to such a tale. + Her eyes were so small that no satisfaction could possibly come of it. + “Oh! I don’t mind, uncle,” she said, with half-affected indifference, as + she searched in her box for silk to mend her gloves. + </p> + <p> + “You are not very encouraging, I must say,” returned her uncle, making + another cow-face. + </p> + <p> + “I will go away, if you like,” said Janet, pretending to rise. + </p> + <p> + “No, never mind,” said her uncle hastily. “If you don’t want me to tell + it, I want you to hear it; and, before I have done, that may have come to + the same thing perhaps.” + </p> + <p> + “Then you really are going to tell us a ghost story!” said Kate, drawing + her chair nearer to her uncle’s; and then, finding this did not satisfy + her sense of propinquity to the source of the expected pleasure, drawing a + stool from the corner, and seating herself almost on the hearth-rug at his + knee. + </p> + <p> + “I did not say so,” returned Cornelius, once more. “I said I would tell + you a strange story. You may call it a ghost story if you like; I do not + pretend to determine what it is. I confess it will look like one, though.” + </p> + <p> + After so many delays, Uncle Cornelius now plunged almost hurriedly into + his narration. + </p> + <p> + “In the year 1820,” he said, “in the month of August, I fell in love.” + Here the girls glanced at each other. The idea of Uncle Cornie in love, + and in the very same century in which they were now listening to the + confession, was too astonishing to pass without ocular remark; but, if he + observed it, he took no notice of it; he did not even pause. “In the month + of September, I was refused. Consequently, in the month of October, I was + ready to fall in love again. Take particular care of yourself, Harry, for + a whole month, at least, after your first disappointment; for you will + never be more likely to do a foolish thing. Please yourself after the + second. If you are silly then, you may take what you get, for you will + deserve it—except it be good fortune.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you do a foolish thing then, uncle?” asked Harry, demurely. + </p> + <p> + “I did, as you will see; for I fell in love again.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t see anything so very foolish in that.” + </p> + <p> + “I have repented it since, though. Don’t interrupt me again, please. In + the middle of October, then, in the year 1820, in the evening, I was + walking across Russell Square, on my way home from the British Museum, + where I had been reading all day. You see I have a full intention of being + precise, Janet.” + </p> + <p> + “I’m sure I don’t know why you make the remark to me, uncle,” said Janet, + with an involuntary toss of her head. Her uncle only went on with his + narrative. + </p> + <p> + “I begin at the very beginning of my story,” he said; “for I want to be + particular as to everything that can appear to have had anything to do + with what came afterwards. I had been reading, I say, all the morning in + the British Museum; and, as I walked, I took off my spectacles to ease my + eyes. I need not tell you that I am short-sighted now, for that you know + well enough. But I must tell you that I was short-sighted then, and + helpless enough without my spectacles, although I was not quite so much so + as I am now;—for I find it all nonsense about short-sighted eyes + improving with age. Well, I was walking along the south side of Russell + Square, with my spectacles in my hand, and feeling a little bewildered in + consequence—for it was quite the dusk of the evening, and + short-sighted people require more light than others. I was feeling, in + fact, almost blind. I had got more than half-way to the other side, when, + from the crossing that cuts off the corner in the direction of Montagu + Place, just as I was about to turn towards it, an old lady stepped upon + the kerbstone of the pavement, looked at me for a moment, and passed—an + occurrence not very remarkable, certainly. But the lady was remarkable, + and so was her dress. I am not good at observing, and I am still worse at + describing dress, therefore I can only say that hers reminded me of an old + picture—that is, I had never seen anything like it, except in old + pictures. She had no bonnet, and looked as if she had walked straight out + of an ancient drawing-room in her evening attire. Of her face I shall say + nothing now. The next instant I met a man on the crossing, who stopped and + addressed me. So short-sighted was I that, although I recognised his voice + as one I ought to know, I could not identify him until I had put on my + spectacles, which I did instinctively in the act of returning his + greeting. At the same moment I glanced over my shoulder after the old + lady. She was nowhere to be seen. + </p> + <p> + “‘What are you looking at?’ asked James Hetheridge. + </p> + <p> + “‘I was looking after that old lady,’ I answered, ‘but I can’t see her.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘What old lady?’ said Hetheridge, with just a touch of impatience. + </p> + <p> + “‘You must have seen her,’ I returned. ‘You were not more than three yards + behind her.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Where is she then?’ + </p> + <p> + “‘She must have gone down one of the areas, I think. But she looked a + lady, though an old-fashioned one.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Have you been dining?’ asked James, in a tone of doubtful inquiry. + </p> + <p> + “‘No,’ I replied, not suspecting the insinuation; ‘I have only just come + from the Museum.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Then I advise you to call on your medical man before you go home.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Medical man!’ I returned; ‘I have no medical man. What do you mean? I + never was better in my life.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘I mean that there was no old lady. It was an illusion, and that + indicates something wrong. Besides, you did not know me when I spoke to + you.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘That is nothing,” I returned. ‘I had just taken off my spectacles, and + without them I shouldn’t know my own father.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘How was it you saw the old lady, then?’ + </p> + <p> + “The affair was growing serious under my friend’s cross-questioning. I did + not at all like the idea of his supposing me subject to hallucinations. So + I answered, with a laugh, ‘Ah! to be sure, that explains it. I am so blind + without my spectacles, that I shouldn’t know an old lady from a big dog.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘There was no big dog,’ said Hetheridge, shaking his head, as the fact + for the first time dawned upon me that, although I had seen the old lady + clearly enough to make a sketch of her, even to the features of her + care-worn, eager old face, I had not been able to recognise the well-known + countenance of James Hetheridge. + </p> + <p> + “‘That’s what comes of reading till the optic nerve is weakened,” he went + on. ‘You will cause yourself serious injury if you do not pull up in time. + I’ll tell you what; I’m going home next week—will you go with me?’ + </p> + <p> + “‘You are very kind,’ I answered, not altogether rejecting the proposal, + for I felt that a little change to the country would be pleasant, and I + was quite my own master. For I had unfortunately means equal to my wants, + and had no occasion to follow any profession—not a very desirable + thing for a young man, I can tell you, Master Harry. I need not keep you + over the commonplaces of pressing and yielding. It is enough to say that + he pressed and that I yielded. The day was fixed for our departure + together; but something or other, I forget what, occurred, to make him + advance the date, and it was resolved that I should follow later in the + month. + </p> + <p> + “It was a drizzly afternoon in the beginning of the last week of October + when I left the town of Bradford in a post-chaise to drive to Lewton + Grange, the property of my friend’s father. I had hardly left the town, + and the twilight had only begun to deepen, when, glancing from one of the + windows of the chaise, I fancied I saw, between me and the hedge, the dim + figure of a horse keeping pace with us. I thought, in the first interval + of unreason, that it was a shadow from my own horse, but reminded myself + the next moment that there could be no shadow where there was no light. + When I looked again, I was at the first glance convinced that my eyes had + deceived me. At the second, I believed once more that a shadowy something, + with the movements of a horse in harness, was keeping pace with us. I + turned away again with some discomfort, and not till we had reached an + open moorland road, whence a little watery light was visible on the + horizon, could I summon up courage enough to look out once more. Certainly + then there was nothing to be seen, and I persuaded myself that it had been + all a fancy, and lighted a cigar. With my feet on the cushions before me, + I had soon lifted myself on the clouds of tobacco far above all the + terrors of the night, and believed them banished for ever. But, my cigar + coming to an end just as we turned into the avenue that led up to the + Grange, I found myself once more glancing nervously out of the window. The + moment the trees were about me, there was, if not a shadowy horse out + there by the side of the chaise, yet certainly more than half that + conviction in here in my consciousness. When I saw my friend, however, + standing on the doorstep, dark against the glow of the hall fire, I forgot + all about it; and I need not add that I did not make it a subject of + conversation when I entered, for I was well aware that it was essential to + a man’s reputation that his senses should be accurate, though his heart + might without prejudice swarm with shadows, and his judgment be a very + stable of hobbies. + </p> + <p> + “I was kindly received. Mrs. Hetheridge had been dead for some years, and + Laetitia, the eldest of the family, was at the head of the household. She + had two sisters, little more than girls. The father was a burly, yet + gentlemanlike Yorkshire squire, who ate well, drank well, looked radiant, + and hunted twice a week. In this pastime his son joined him when in the + humour, which happened scarcely so often. I, who had never crossed a horse + in my life, took his apology for not being able to mount me very coolly, + assuring him that I would rather loiter about with a book than be in at + the death of the best-hunted fox in Yorkshire. + </p> + <p> + “I very soon found myself at home with the Hetheridges; and very soon + again I began to find myself not so much at home; for Miss Hetheridge—Laetitia + as I soon ventured to call her—was fascinating. I have told you, + Katey, that there was an empty place in my heart. Look to the door then, + Katey. That was what made me so ready to fall in love with Laetitia. Her + figure was graceful, and I think, even now, her face would have been + beautiful but for a certain contraction of the skin over the nostrils, + suggesting an invisible thumb and forefinger pinching them, which repelled + me, although I did not then know what it indicated. I had not been with + her one evening before the impression it made on me had vanished, and that + so entirely that I could hardly recall the perception of the peculiarity + which had occasioned it. Her observation was remarkably keen, and her + judgment generally correct. She had great confidence in it herself; nor + was she devoid of sympathy with some of the forms of human imagination, + only they never seemed to possess for her any relation to practical life. + That was to be ordered by the judgment alone. I do not mean she ever said + so. I am only giving the conclusions I came to afterwards. It is not + necessary that you should have any more thorough acquaintance with her + mental character. One point in her moral nature, of special consequence to + my narrative, will show itself by and by. + </p> + <p> + “I did all I could to make myself agreeable to her, and the more I + succeeded the more delightful she became in my eyes. We walked in the + garden and grounds together; we read, or rather I read and she listened;—read + poetry, Katey—sometimes till we could not read any more for certain + haziness and huskiness which look now, I am afraid, considerably more + absurd than they really were, or even ought to look. In short, I + considered myself thoroughly in love with her.” + </p> + <p> + “And wasn’t she in love with you, uncle?” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t interrupt me, child. I don’t know. I hoped so then. I hope the + contrary now. She liked me I am sure. That is not much to say. Liking is + very pleasant and very cheap. Love is as rare as a star.” + </p> + <p> + “I thought the stars were anything but rare, uncle.” + </p> + <p> + “That’s because you never went out to find one for yourself, Katey. They + would prove a few miles apart then.” + </p> + <p> + “But it would be big enough when I did find it.” + </p> + <p> + “Right, my dear. That is the way with love.—Laetitia was a good + housekeeper. Everything was punctual as clockwork. I use the word + advisedly. If her father, who was punctual to one date,—the + dinner-hour,—made any remark to the contrary as he took up the + carving-knife, Laetitia would instantly send one of her sisters to + question the old clock in the hall, and report the time to half a minute. + It was sure to be found that, if there was a mistake, the mistake was in + the clock. But although it was certainly a virtue to have her household in + such perfect order, it was not a virtue to be impatient with every + infringement of its rules on the part of others. She was very severe, for + instance, upon her two younger sisters if, the moment after the second + bell had rung, they were not seated at the dinner-table, washed and + aproned. Order was a very idol with her. Hence the house was too tidy for + any sense of comfort. If you left an open book on the table, you would, on + returning to the room a moment after, find it put aside. What the + furniture of the drawing-room was like, I never saw; for not even on + Christmas Day, which was the last day I spent there, was it uncovered. + Everything in it was kept in bibs and pinafores. Even the carpet was + covered with a cold and slippery sheet of brown holland. Mr. Hetheridge + never entered that room, and therein was wise. James remonstrated once. + She answered him quite kindly, even playfully, but no change followed. + What was worse, she made very wretched tea. Her father never took tea; + neither did James. I was rather fond of it, but I soon gave it up. + Everything her father partook of was first-rate. Everything else was + somewhat poverty-stricken. My pleasure in Laetitia’s society prevented me + from making practical deductions from such trifles.” + </p> + <p> + “I shouldn’t have thought you knew anything about eating, uncle,” said + Janet. + </p> + <p> + “The less a man eats, the more he likes to have it good, Janet. In short,—there + can be no harm in saying it now,—Laetitia was so far from being like + the name of her baptism,—and most names are so good that they are + worth thinking about; no children are named after bad ideas,—Laetitia + was so far unlike hers as to be stingy—an abominable fault. But, I + repeat, the notion of such a fact was far from me then. And now for my + story. + </p> + <p> + “The first of November was a very lovely day, quite one of the ‘halcyon + days’ of ‘St. Martin’s summer.’ I was sitting in a little arbour I had + just discovered, with a book in my hand,—not reading, however, but + day-dreaming,—when, lifting my eyes from the ground, I was startled + to see, through a thin shrub in front of the arbour, what seemed the form + of an old lady seated, apparently reading from a book on her knee. The + sight instantly recalled the old lady of Russell Square. I started to my + feet, and then, clear of the intervening bush, saw only a great stone such + as abounded on the moors in the neighbourhood, with a lump of quartz set + on the top of it. Some childish taste had put it there for an ornament. + Smiling at my own folly, I sat down again, and reopened my book. After + reading for a while, I glanced up again, and once more started to my feet, + overcome by the fancy that there verily sat the old lady reading. You will + say it indicated an excited condition of the brain. Possibly; but I was, + as far as I can recall, quite collected and reasonable. I was almost vexed + this second time, and sat down once more to my book. Still, every time I + looked up, I was startled afresh. I doubt, however, if the trifle is worth + mentioning, or has any significance even in relation to what followed. + </p> + <p> + “After dinner I strolled out by myself, leaving father and son over their + claret. I did not drink wine; and from the lawn I could see the windows of + the library, whither Laetitia commonly retired from the dinner-table. It + was a very lovely soft night. There was no moon, but the stars looked + wider awake than usual. Dew was falling, but the grass was not yet wet, + and I wandered about on it for half an hour. The stillness was somehow + strange. It had a wonderful feeling in it as if something were expected—as + if the quietness were the mould in which some event or other was about to + be cast. + </p> + <p> + “Even then I was a reader of certain sorts of recondite lore. Suddenly I + remembered that this was the eve of All Souls. This was the night on which + the dead came out of their graves to visit their old homes. ‘Poor dead!’ I + thought with myself; ‘have you any place to call a home now? If you have, + surely you will not wander back here, where all that you called home has + either vanished or given itself to others, to be their home now and yours + no more! What an awful doom the old fancy has allotted you! To dwell in + your graves all the year, and creep out, this one night, to enter at the + midnight door, left open for welcome! A poor welcome truly!—just an + open door, a clean-swept floor, and a fire to warm your rain-sodden limbs! + The household asleep, and the house-place swarming with the ghosts of + ancient times,—the miser, the spendthrift, the profligate, the + coquette,—for the good ghosts sleep, and are troubled with no waking + like yours! Not one man, sleepless like yourselves, to question you, and + be answered after the fashion of the old nursery rhyme— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “‘What makes your eyes so holed?’ + ‘I’ve lain so long among the mould.’ + ‘What makes your feet so broad?’ + ‘I’ve walked more than ever I rode!’ +</pre> + <p> + “‘Yet who can tell?’ I went on to myself. ‘It may be your hell to return + thus. It may be that only on this one night of all the year you can show + yourselves to him who can see you, but that the place where you were + wicked is the Hades to which you are doomed for ages.’ I thought and + thought till I began to feel the air alive about me, and was enveloped in + the vapours that dim the eyes of those who strain them for one peep + through the dull mica windows that will not open on the world of ghosts. + At length I cast my fancies away, and fled from them to the library, where + the bodily presence of Laetitia made the world of ghosts appear shadowy + indeed. + </p> + <p> + “‘What a reality there is about a bodily presence!’ I said to myself, as I + took my chamber-candle in my hand. ‘But what is there more real in a + body?’ I said again, as I crossed the hall. ‘Surely nothing,’ I went on, + as I ascended the broad staircase to my room. ‘The body must vanish. If + there be a spirit, that will remain. A body can but vanish. A ghost can + appear.’ + </p> + <p> + “I woke in the morning with a sense of such discomfort as made me spring + out of bed at once. My foot lighted upon my spectacles. How they came to + be on the floor I could not tell, for I never took them off when I went to + bed. When I lifted them I found they were in two pieces; the bridge was + broken. This was awkward. I was so utterly helpless without them! Indeed, + before I could lay my hand on my hair-brush I had to peer through one eye + of the parted pair. When I looked at my watch after I was dressed, I found + I had risen an hour earlier than usual. I groped my way downstairs to + spend the hour before breakfast in the library. + </p> + <p> + “No sooner was I seated with a book than I heard the voice of Laetitia + scolding the butler, in no very gentle tones, for leaving the garden door + open all night. The moment I heard this, the strange occurrences I am + about to relate began to dawn upon my memory. The door had been open the + night long between All Saints and All Souls. In the middle of that night I + awoke suddenly. I knew it was not the morning by the sensations I had, for + the night feels altogether different from the morning. It was quite dark. + My heart was beating violently, and I either hardly could or hardly dared + breathe. A nameless terror was upon me, and my sense of hearing was, + apparently by the force of its expectation, unnaturally roused and keen. + There it was—a slight noise in the room!—slight, but clear, + and with an unknown significance about it! It was awful to think it would + come again. I do believe it was only one of those creaks in the timbers + which announce the torpid, age-long, sinking flow of every house back to + the dust—a motion to which the flow of the glacier is as a torrent, + but which is no less inevitable and sure. Day and night it ceases not; but + only in the night, when house and heart are still, do we hear it. No + wonder it should sound fearful! for are we not the immortal dwellers in + ever-crumbling clay? The clay is so near us, and yet not of us, that its + every movement starts a fresh dismay. For what will its final ruin + disclose? When it falls from about us, where shall we find that we have + existed all the time? + </p> + <p> + “My skin tingled with the bursting of the moisture from its pores. + Something was in the room beside me. A confused, indescribable sense of + utter loneliness, and yet awful presence, was upon me, mingled with a + dreary, hopeless desolation, as of burnt-out love and aimless life. All at + once I found myself sitting up. The terror that a cold hand might be laid + upon me, or a cold breath blow on me, or a corpse-like face bend down + through the darkness over me, had broken my bonds!—I would meet + half-way whatever might be approaching. The moment that my will burst into + action the terror began to ebb. + </p> + <p> + “The room in which I slept was a large one, perfectly dreary with + tidiness. I did not know till afterwards that it was Laetitia’s room, + which she had given up to me rather than prepare another. The furniture, + all but one article, was modern and commonplace. I could not help + remarking to myself afterwards how utterly void the room was of the + nameless charm of feminine occupancy. I had seen nothing to wake a + suspicion of its being a lady’s room. The article I have excepted was an + ancient bureau, elaborate and ornate, which stood on one side of the large + bow window. The very morning before, I had seen a bunch of keys hanging + from the upper part of it, and had peeped in. Finding however, that the + pigeon-holes were full of papers, I closed it at once. I should have been + glad to use it, but clearly it was not for me. At that bureau the figure + of a woman was now seated in the posture of one writing. A strange dim + light was around her, but whence it proceeded I never thought of + inquiring. As if I, too, had stepped over the bourne, and was a ghost + myself, all fear was now gone. I got out of bed, and softly crossed the + room to where she was seated. ‘If she should be beautiful!’ I thought—for + I had often dreamed of a beautiful ghost that made love to me. The figure + did not move. She was looking at a faded brown paper. ‘Some old + love-letter,’ I thought, and stepped nearer. So cool was I now, that I + actually peeped over her shoulder. With mingled surprise and dismay I + found that the dim page over which she bent was that of an old + account-book. Ancient household records, in rusty ink, held up to the + glimpses of the waning moon, which shone through the parting in the + curtains, their entries of shillings and pence!—Of pounds there was + not one. No doubt pounds and farthings are much the same in the world of + thought—the true spirit-world; but in the ghost-world this eagerness + over shillings and pence must mean something awful! I To think that coins + which had since been worn smooth in other pockets and purses, which had + gone back to the Mint, and been melted down, to come out again and yet + again with the heads of new kings and queens,—that dinners, eaten by + men and women and children whose bodies had since been eaten by the worms,—that + polish for the floors, inches of whose thickness had since been worn away,—that + the hundred nameless trifles of a life utterly vanished, should be + perplexing, annoying, and worst of all, interesting the soul of a ghost + who had been in Hades for centuries! The writing was very old-fashioned, + and the words were contracted. I could read nothing but the moneys and one + single entry—‘Corinths, Vs.’ + </p> + <p> + “Currants for a Christmas pudding, most likely!—Ah, poor lady! the + pudding and not the Christmas was her care; not the delight of the + children over it, but the beggarly pence which it cost. And she cannot get + it out of her head, although her brain was ‘powdered all as thin as flour’ + ages ago in the mortar of Death. ‘Alas, poor ghost!’ It needs no treasured + hoard left behind, no floor stained with the blood of the murdered child, + no wickedly hidden parchment of landed rights! An old account-book is + enough for the hell of the housekeeping gentlewoman! + </p> + <p> + “She never lifted her face, or seemed to know that I stood behind her. I + left her, and went into the bow window, where I could see her face. I was + right. It was the same old lady I had met in Russell Square, walking in + front of James Hetheridge. Her withered lips went moving as if they would + have uttered words had the breath been commissioned thither; her brow was + contracted over her thin nose; and once and again her shining forefinger + went up to her temple as if she were pondering some deep problem of + humanity. How long I stood gazing at her I do not know, but at last I + withdrew to my bed, and left her struggling to solve that which she could + never solve thus. It was the symbolic problem of her own life, and she had + failed to read it. I remember nothing more. She may be sitting there + still, solving at the insolvable. + </p> + <p> + “I should have felt no inclination, with the broad sun of the squire’s + face, the keen eyes of James, and the beauty of Laetitia before me at the + breakfast table, to say a word about what I had seen, even if I had not + been afraid of the doubt concerning my sanity which the story would + certainly awaken. What with the memories of the night and the want of my + spectacles, I passed a very dreary day, dreading the return of the night, + for, cool as I had been in her presence, I could not regard the possible + reappearance of the ghost with equanimity. But when the night did come, I + slept soundly till the morning. + </p> + <p> + “The next day, not being able to read with comfort, I went wandering about + the place, and at length began to fit the outside and inside of the house + together. It was a large and rambling edifice, parts of it very old, parts + comparatively modern. I first found my own window, which looked out of the + back. Below this window, on one side, there was a door. I wondered whither + it led, but found it locked. At the moment James approached from the + stables. ‘Where does this door lead?’ I asked him. ‘I will get the key,’ + he answered. ‘It is rather a queer old place. We used to like it when we + were children.’ ‘There’s a stair, you see,’ he said, as he threw the door + open. ‘It leads up over the kitchen.’ I followed him up the stair. + ‘There’s a door into your room,’ he said, ‘but it’s always locked now.—And + here’s Grannie’s room, as they call it, though why, I have not the least + idea,’ he added, as he pushed open the door of an old-fashioned parlour, + smelling very musty. A few old books lay on a side table. A china bowl + stood beside them, with some shrivelled, scentless rose-leaves in the + bottom of it. The cloth that covered the table was riddled by moths, and + the spider-legged chairs were covered with dust. + </p> + <p> + “A conviction seized me that the old bureau must have belonged to this + room, and I soon found the place where I judged it must have stood. But + the same moment I caught sight of a portrait on the wall above the spot I + had fixed upon. ‘By Jove!’ I cried, involuntarily, ‘that’s the very old + lady I met in Russell Square!’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Nonsense!’ said James. ‘Old-fashioned ladies are like babies—they + all look the same. That’s a very old portrait.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘So I see,’ I answered. ‘It is like a Zucchero.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘I don’t know whose it is,” he answered hurriedly, and I thought he + looked a little queer. + </p> + <p> + “‘Is she one of the family?’ I asked. + </p> + <p> + “‘They say so; but who or what she was, I don’t know. You must ask Letty,” + he answered. + </p> + <p> + “‘The more I look at it,’ I said, ‘the more I am convinced it is the same + old lady.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Well,’ he returned with a laugh, ‘my old nurse used to say she was + rather restless. But it’s all nonsense.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘That bureau in my room looks about the same date as this furniture,’ I + remarked. + </p> + <p> + “‘It used to stand just there,’ he answered, pointing to the space under + the picture. ‘Well I remember with what awe we used to regard it; for they + said the old lady kept her accounts at it still. We never dared touch the + bundles of yellow papers in the pigeon-holes. I remember thinking Letty a + very heroine once when she touched one of them with the tip of her + forefinger. She had got yet more courageous by the time she had it moved + into her own room.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Then that is your sister’s room I am occupying?’ I said. + </p> + <p> + “‘Yes.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘I am ashamed of keeping her out of it.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Oh! she’ll do well enough.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘If I were she though,’ I added, ‘I would send that bureau back to its + own place.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘What do you mean, Heywood? Do you believe every old wife’s tale that + ever was told?’ + </p> + <p> + “‘She may get a fright some day—that’s all!’ I replied. + </p> + <p> + “He smiled with such an evident mixture of pity and contempt that for the + moment I almost disliked him; and feeling certain that Laetitia would + receive any such hint in a somewhat similar manner, I did not feel + inclined to offer her any advice with regard to the bureau. + </p> + <p> + “Little occurred during the rest of my visit worthy of remark. Somehow or + other I did not make much progress with Laetitia. I believe I had begun to + see into her character a little, and therefore did not get deeper in love + as the days went on. I know I became less absorbed in her society, + although I was still anxious to make myself agreeable to her—or + perhaps, more properly, to give her a favourable impression of me. I do + not know whether she perceived any difference in my behaviour, but I + remember that I began again to remark the pinched look of her nose, and to + be a little annoyed with her for always putting aside my book. At the same + time, I daresay I was provoking, for I never was given to tidiness myself. + </p> + <p> + “At length Christmas Day arrived. After breakfast, the squire, James, and + the two girls arranged to walk to church. Laetitia was not in the room at + the moment. I excused myself on the ground of a headache, for I had had a + bad night. When they left, I went up to my room, threw myself on the bed, + and was soon fast asleep. + </p> + <p> + “How long I slept I do not know, but I woke again with that indescribable + yet well-known sense of not being alone. The feeling was scarcely less + terrible in the daylight than it had been in the darkness. With the same + sudden effort as before, I sat up in the bed. There was the figure at the + open bureau, in precisely the same position as on the former occasion. But + I could not see it so distinctly. I rose as gently as I could, and + approached it, after the first physical terror. I am not a coward. Just as + I got near enough to see the account book open on the folding cover of the + bureau, she started up, and, turning, revealed the face of Laetitia. She + blushed crimson. + </p> + <p> + “‘I beg your pardon, Mr. Heywood,’ she said in great confusion; ‘I thought + you had gone to church with the rest.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘I had lain down with a headache, and gone to sleep,’ I replied. ‘But,—forgive + me, Miss Hetheridge,’ I added, for my mind was full of the dreadful + coincidence,—‘don’t you think you would have been better at church + than balancing your accounts on Christmas Day?’ + </p> + <p> + “‘The better day the better deed,’ she said, with a somewhat offended air, + and turned to walk from the room. + </p> + <p> + “‘Excuse me, Laetitia,’ I resumed, very seriously, ‘but I want to tell you + something.’ + </p> + <p> + “She looked conscious. It never crossed me, that perhaps she fancied I was + going to make a confession. Far other things were then in my mind. For I + thought how awful it was, if she too, like the ancestral ghost, should + have to do an age-long penance of haunting that bureau and those horrid + figures, and I had suddenly resolved to tell her the whole story. She + listened with varying complexion and face half turned aside. When I had + ended, which I fear I did with something of a personal appeal, she lifted + her head and looked me in the face, with just a slight curl on her thin + lip, and answered me. ‘If I had wanted a sermon, Mr. Heywood, I should + have gone to church for it. As for the ghost, I am sorry for you.’ So + saying she walked out of the room. + </p> + <p> + “The rest of the day I did not find very merry. I pleaded my headache as + an excuse for going to bed early. How I hated the room now! Next morning, + immediately after breakfast, I took my leave of Lewton Grange.” + </p> + <p> + “And lost a good wife, perhaps, for the sake of a ghost, uncle!” said + Janet. + </p> + <p> + “If I lost a wife at all, it was a stingy one. I should have been ashamed + of her all my life long.” + </p> + <p> + “Better than a spendthrift,” said Janet. + </p> + <p> + “How do you know that?” returned her uncle. “All the difference I see is, + that the extravagant ruins the rich, and the stingy robs the poor.” + </p> + <p> + “But perhaps she repented, uncle,” said Kate. + </p> + <p> + “I don’t think she did, Katey. Look here.” + </p> + <p> + Uncle Cornelius drew from the breast pocket of his coat a black-edged + letter. + </p> + <p> + “I have kept up my friendship with her brother,” he said. “All he knows + about the matter is, that either we had a quarrel, or she refused me;—he + is not sure which. I must say for Laetitia, that she was no tattler. Well, + here’s a letter I had from James this very morning. I will read it to you. + </p> + <p> + “‘MY DEAR MR. HEYWOOD,—We have had a terrible \shock this morning. + Letty did not come down to breakfast, and Lizzie went to see if she was + ill. We heard her scream, and, rushing up, there was poor Letty, sitting + at the old bureau, quite dead. She had fallen forward on the desk, and her + housekeeping-book was crumpled up under her. She had been so all night + long, we suppose, for she was not undressed, and was quite cold. The + doctors say it was disease of the heart.’ + </p> + <p> + “There!” said Uncle Cornie, folding up the letter. + </p> + <p> + “Do you think the ghost had anything to do with it, uncle?” asked Kate, + almost under her breath. + </p> + <p> + “How should I know, my dear? Possibly.” + </p> + <p> + “It’s very sad,” said Janet; “but I don’t see the good of it all. If the + ghost had come to tell that she had hidden away money in some secret place + in the old bureau, one would see why she had been permitted to come back. + But what was the good of those accounts after they were over and done + with? I don’t believe in the ghost.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Janet, Janet! but those wretched accounts were not over and done + with, you see. That is the misery of it.” + </p> + <p> + Uncle Cornelius rose without another word, bade them good-night, and + walked out into the wind. + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg’s The Portent and Other Stories, by George MacDonald + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PORTENT AND OTHER STORIES *** + +***** This file should be named 8913-h.htm or 8913-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/8/9/1/8913/ + + +Text file produced by Jonathan Ingram, Sandra Brown and the DP Team + +HTML file produced by David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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